The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1855-07-05
From the New York Evening Post.
THE MEMOIRS OF SYDNEY SMITH.

The long-looked-for Memoirs Of Sydney
Smith, by his daughter, Lady Holland, (edited
by Mrs. Austin,) have appeared at last. We
embrace the earliest opportunity OF giving our
readers a taste of them.
Sydney Smith had once to go to court, and
this is his description of what occurred:
81 found my colleague, Tate, the other day,
in his simplicity, consulting the Archdeacon Of
Newfoundland what he should wear at the le-
vee-a man who sits bobbing for cod, and
pocketing every tenth. However, | did worse
when went by consulting no one; and, through
pure Ignorance, going TO the levee in shoe
strings instead of shoe-buckles.
81 found, to my surprise, people looking
down at my feet. l could not think what they
were at. At first / thought they had discover
ed lie beauty of my legs, but at last the truth
burst on me, by some wag laughing, and think
ing hal done it as good joke. | was, Of
course, excessively annoyed to have been sup
posed capable of such a vulgar, unmeaning
piece of disrespect, and kept my feet as coyly
under my petticoatS as the verieSt prude in the
cOuntry, till | could make my escape; so per
haps, after all, / had better have followed my
friend example"
While residing at his living in Combe Florey.
a pompous little man in black was ushered in
one morning, who announced that he was
" compoun1ing a history of the distinguished
families In Somersetshire, and called to obtain
the Smyth arms" Sydney regretted that ne
could not contribute to so valuable a work, for
the Smvths never had any arms, but sealed
their letters with their thumbs.
In the conversational ana with which the
volumes abound we meet with the original of
the saying which has lately been popularized
among the Administration reformers.
"You will generally sec in human life the
round man and the angular man planted in the
wrong hole but the Bishop of --, being a
round man, has failed into triangular hole,
and is far better off than many triangular men
who have fallen into round holes"
1t was probably of this bishop that he said,
on being asked if he were going to be married,
Perhaps he may yet, how can d bishop mar
ry? How can he hirt? The most he can say
is, will see you in the vestry after service %
! The hierarchy was an eternal theme for his
drollery. Thus, 1--WE naturally lose illusions
we get older, like teeth but there is no Cart
wright TO fit new set to our understandings.
/ have, alas, only one illusion left, and that is
| the Archbishop of Canterbury" Again II
/ is great proof of shyness to crumble bread at
! dinner. oh, see you are afraid of me, turn
/ ing to young lady who sat by him, you crum
| bic your bread. l do it when sit by the Bish
! op of London, and with both hands when | SIT
by the Archbishop" OF his living in York
/ shire, he said, :" it was actually twelve miles
/ from a lemon"
| He once wanted to know why if a sailor were
mastheaded for not doing his duty, you should
not weathercock parishioner for not paying
! his tithes? He announced the arrival in Lon
don of New Zealand attorney as gentleman
who had Us. 3d. tattooed all over his face. Hear
ing of the difficulty of coughing down a speak
/ er, he recommended trial of the whooping-
cough. Niebuhr's discoveries he described as
Roman history reversed; Tarquin turning out
an excellent family man and Lucretia very
doubtful character, whom Lady - would
not have visited"
Daniel Webster he ikened to " a steamer.
CINE in trousers" Illustrating the mode the
Irish have of doing everything differently from
other people, he said that when the Dublin
mail was stopped and robbed, one of the pas
sengers heard a sweet female voice behind the
hedge, exclaiming, "Shoot the gintleman, then
Patrick, dear" Seeing a child strike the shell
of a turtle, he asked the reason, and the an
swer was, "to please the turtle f" whereupor
Sydney said it would be as much to the pur
pose to strike the dome Of St. Paul's to please
the dean and chapter. Children, he said on
another occasion, are bored with the wisdom o.
Telamachus, and can't think why Calypso is
fond of him.
OF Miss Fox, (nicce of the statesman he
said, al Bowood, the Transformers seat, thai
she was perfect, as she gave him the idea of al
aged angel. OF dressed Venus, which he
once saw in q serious family, he said it was the
Venus M!llinaria. On examining some flowers
in garden, beautiful girl, who was of tn,
party, exclaimed, "Oh, Mr.. Smith, this pc;
will never come to perfection" "Permit me
them" said Sydney, gently taking her hand, ant
walking towards the plant, " to lead perfection
to the pea" OF a trio of other ladies, he said
ooh, they were all so beautiful, Paris coul,
Of have decided between them, but would hav
cut his apple in slices" Of Lady Murray
mother, who mad a most benevolent cOunte
nance, he said her smile was so radiant that
would force gooseberry bush into flower.
He hated dogs, and, on being asked by
lady for motto for her poodle, he suggested
D." Out, damned Spot" out she didn't think
sentimental enough, though thoroughly Shaks
pearian. Of bores, though he said there wer
no criminals like them, as they were unpunisf
able, he was very tolerant, saying he never me
with one all the time he lived in the country
but certain dean, who, be declared, deserves
to be preached to death by wild curates." Be
ing asked by lady if he had been remarkabl
as Roy, he replied that he was a remarkabl
fat boy, and was intended to have been Chi
nese supercargo, to Hong Kong. Complainin:
of MS leeDleness as he drew nigh death, he SAT-
he felt so weak, that if knife were put in hi
hand, he should hardly be able to stick it into
Dissenter.
Speaking of dminutive men, who were among
the most eminent in the world, he instanceC
his friend Jeffrey, and added that there wa
another (name not given who had "not bod
enough to cover his mind decently with-hi
intellect was improperly exposed" Jeffrey
once coming to see him, rode into the farm-yart
On young donkey he found outside, and Sid
ney, on the instant, hailed him with a couple 0
couplets, thus:
Witty : Horatlus Flaccus
As gre I "A Jacobin Gracious;
Snort, though not so fat, Bacchus,
Riding a little jackass.
This ef'usion had nearly produced disastrou
results afterwards; for it took such possession
of certain gentleman, that when on the poin
of being introduced to Jeffrey at Holland House
the image conjured up by the lines almost SUI