Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1855-12-01
Ben. johnson on Waiting.

When We got into the place, we found great
large room, as big as neetn' house. lighted up
with smashin big lamps, covered all over with glass
hangngs. The ladies looked as nice as little an-
gels their faces as white as they had dipped them
into -four barre-such red cheeks | han't seen
IN all Sleepy Hollow; their arms all covered with
gold bands, chains, and shiny beads. Such lips
you never did see-they looked leone kiss NE all
over" Their eyes looked like diamonds; their
waists drawn to the size of pipe.stem, and made
to look IKE they were undergoing regular cutting
in two operation by tyin' string round 'em; and
then, bosoms-O, Lordy! all covered up in laces
and muslins-they rose, then rose again lke-oh,
don't know whatt was like, exceptin the breathin
Of a snowy white goose, chucked in tight bag,
with its breast just on.
After the gals and youngsters had walked round
and round for considerable spell, the music struck
up-and such music 1t was big horn and
little holn big flute and little flute, big fiddle
and little fiddle, and such squeakin, squalin',
bellowin', groann', l never heard before; it was
like all the rats, pigs and frogs in Chrstendom
had concluded to sing together. They call it
German Poker. / s'pose it was made by some Of
them Cincinnati Germans, in imitation OF the
squallin' at pork packery, and l guess it was a
pretty good imitation.
So soon as the music struck up-such sight
The fellows caught the gals right round the waist
with one hand, and pulled them right smack up in
kissin' order, with the gals bosoms agin their
bosoms and the gals chns restin' on the tellers
shoulders. At this, the gals begun to sorter jump
and caper like they were agong to push them
away; but the ellers just caught hold Of the other
hand and held it off, and began to jump and caper
too, just like the gals.
l swon upon stack of bibles, you never seed
cuoh a sirhtf Thora tuyo coils hold
tight in the arms of them ellers-they rarin' and
jumpn', and pushin' 'em backwards over the room
AS thought tryin' to get away from them-and
| the fellers holdin' on to 'em tighter, and they
squeezed the gals, till began to think the thing
| was ben' carried too far for fun.
| was little green in these matters; and SEEM
the gals trying harder and harder to get away, as
thought, and the fellers holdin tighter and tighter
| it was very natural that / should take the gals
part So my dander kept risin' higher and higher,
till / thought my bilcr would bust unless let out
some steam. bounced back into the middle of
| the room.
Thunder and lightning! every lady come here
with shot-guns, six-shooters, and butcher. knives
bawled !, at the top of my voice. for l will be shot
if any dod-blasted, long-bearded feers shall i'm
pose On gals that ar way where l ami" and was
just going to pitch into 'em promiscuouslv, when
my merchant caught me by the arm, and raid
"Stop Benz"
"Ill be cussed, says I, eff will see the wimmin
folks imposed on! Look what them felers are dom
and how hard the gals are rarin' and pitchn' to
get away from 'em. Do you s'pose | can stand
still as me-post and see gals suffer so? Look,
says l, there is gal almost broken down, ready
to give up that rangotang of a Teller! 1onder is
another so faint her head has fallen on the bosom
of the monster!"
tell you was ashy; felt could jump into
them like catamount into pgg-pen.
| When Hooked into my merchant face. thought
he would have busted. He lat and aft and squatted
down and lat.
why" says he, "Ben, that is nothing but the
red war waltz they are dancn', and them gals amt
tryin' to get away from them felIers they are only
capern to make the tellers hold 'em tighter, kase
they like it. The more the gals caper the tighter
tighter they wish to be squeezed. As to layin'
their heads on the fellers' bosoms, that's very
common in this city. They expect to be married
some of these days, and they want to be accus-
toned to it. so they won't be blushing and turnn'
pale when the parson tells the groom to salute the
BRIDE There is nothing like being used to things. "
You may take my hat" says l to my merchant;
81 was tuck in that time"
tell you, though, it was the first time l ever
seed the like before. have seen the Indian sing
and the Congo dance, but tell you this red war
waltz knocks the hat crown out Of every thing |
ever seed.
After had got out of the way, and every thing
commenced goin' on again, the music got faster and
faster-oh, it was as fast and furious as a north
wester The gals rared again, the fellers Rugged
tighter, and music makers pulled out BLOWN.
Then the gals and fellers spun round ike so many
tops run mad. The fellers leaned back and the
gals leaned to 'em. The gals fine frocks sailed
out and popped into the air like on windy day,
the ellers coatails stock out SO straight that an
egg would not have rolled off; their laces were as
fixed and as serious as a sarment. Around they
went; it makes me dizzy to think of it. Pop went
the coat-ails crash went he music and pity patty,
rump-dumple de-thump went the feet of all.
By and by as beautiful a craft as ever you seed
in the shape of woman, laying close up to long
beanspoe looking Teller, came sailing at the rate Of
fifteen knots an hour down our way, whilst fat,
dumpy woman, and hump-shouldered beefeatin'
sort of Teller, at the same speed, went up the
other. l seed there was to be some bumpie', and
naturally trembled for the consequences. Sure
enough-ca-whallop, they came together, and slap
dash, the whole on 'em fell fiat in the middle of
the room, carrying along with them every body
standing near
| Such mixing up of things as then took place,
hain't occurred before or since old father Noah
unloaded his great ark. There was legs and arms,
white kids and penellas, patent leather and satin
CATERS, shoestrings and garters, neck ribbons and
gard-chains, false curls and whiskers, women's
bustes and pocket handkerchief all in pile-the
gals hckin and squallin, and the fellers gruntin'
and apologisin'.
90, Lody," says l, for was considerably fust-
rated at the sight, "stop that music, blow out the
lights, Or all hands shut their eyes till these VIM
ming get unmixed!"
At this such laugh you never heard.
"Why, Col johnson" says my merchant, "that
is nothing it frequently happens and is one of
the advantages Of the red war waltz. If the gals
amt learned how to mix with the world, how can
| they get along%
~ would rather have 'em all little mixed,
says / ''but that is too much Of good thing.
However let us leave, for seed enough Of the
Sorry in that pile just to Salty me for week"
and at that we bid 'em good night and left, pro-
missed to 90 to the next and take few lessons
in the common Poker and Shoutish dance.
ASHoRT RESUME OF THINGS AT THE CAPITOL
Bothered is Pierce,
Davis is fierce,
Dobbins perplexed
Marcy is vexed
Befogged is Cushing,