The Cecil Whig., 1855-05-05

Il would have borne much to secure such a
protector for my cl,ld. Leave us, Cons Ance
to arrange some mates that cannoy be de-
lav,d even till the morning"
was eager to obey, and be alone to think;
and left the room without backward
glance. .
That half hour had rcvolutioniscd my
whole being. was child no longer. |
locked my bed room door, to give way to all
the tuInultuouS emotions OF woman. Sued
for as wife-engaged looked at myself
in the glass, and wondered that Il man like
Mr.. Lacy could love such young uniformed
creature as | appeared There was an in
congruity in it that struck me painfully.
Still, there was distinction in his regard
that fattered me: had a very high esteem
for him. was wardng off calamity from
my father: loved no one clse--no doubt |
should be very happy. l sat down on the
edge of the bed, and leaned my hcad-littlc
used to ache with snch grave matters of re-
tlection-upon my hand. Unaccustomed to
dream. at that moment an involuntary dream
rose before my Imagination. Instead of this
strange compact, the wooing of a youthful
lover: instead of mere consent on My part,
the delicious hopes, the rich fruition of Il
conscious, active passion. Might it not have
been thus ! If beauty won love, Twas fair
enough; if freshness and strength Of heart
were needed how mine throbbcd under the
ideal bliss The sound of Mr. Iacy's voice
recalled me to sense of my duty him: it
was wrong to dream of such girlsh posslJil-
itcs now.
lie was going away, and my father had
accompanied him to the head of the stair
case. suppose he had asked him if he
would not wish to Bill me Goodnight, for
heard him answcr-"No; she would not wi sh
to be disturbcd-l fear to weary her. God
forgive me if am acting selfish part" !
rose up rcsolutcly; no more such weakness as
that OF the last hour; he WAS worthy Of
woman's love and honor, and would civ
it. The next two months passed In Il state
of Tranquil happiness. Ifm2nly devotion if
the most delicate and minute attentions
could win a heart. mine would have been
won; and thought it was, and rcposcd on
the idea.
Nh. Lacy made no attcmnt to prevent my
pl'mgng into the gay world, postponed for
awhile by the late Strange incidents. Now
and then he would go with me to ball or
opera, but it was in the character of protcc-
tor or spectator, not aS participant; and
felt his presence restraint. | was by no
means c0luclte; Strove to bear always in
mind that was his aiiiancrd wife; but was
only eighteen, ardent in temperament, with
high animal spirits very much courtcd and
admired, and did enter with keen ZcSt
into the pleasures ct lifc.--llis grave smile
in the height of my cnjoymcnts, used to fall
like weight on my heart.
Himself, holding an important and intlucn-
tal position in the word, was full ofcarncSt
schemes of practical hcncvolcnce, Of profess
Sional rofolm.---llc seemed to think, labor,
and write mainly with an eye to other mems
interests. and those in their highest and
wisest bearings. lie liked to talk to me Of
these things, and excite NY moral rnthusi-
assn; and while listened, he carried heart
and conviction with him, and felt call to
such cooperation an honor, in which sacri-
ice could have no part. Then his looks of
intense affection and happiness, aS he kissed
the check to which his words had brought
so deep glow, stirred my soul, and left no
doubt on my mind that loved him.
At the end of two months, Mr.. Lacy left
me TO attend summons to his fathers
death-bcd He expressed no fears as to the
result of this separation, though perceived
a deep secret anxiety. shared it, had
morbid dread Of the effect of this absence.
"Dont leave me-" cried clinging weep
afraid of becoming unworthy Of YOU"
"llow, Constance 2" was his answer. '.If
you mean You will forget me, or discover you
are mistaken in thinking you love me, it will
save us both lifelong misery me, at least
a lifelong rcmorse."
For week or two after he left me, hard
int Int Ca,
friends laughed at my playing the widow, as
they called 1t, and | soon resumed my form
cr gaictics, with, however, a certain restraint
aud moderation which | felt due to Mr..
Lacy.
At length the temptation bcsct me Of which
| seemed to have had vague prcsentmcnt
from the first evening Of Mr.. Lacy's offer,
and 1t beset Inc under its most insidious
form My fathers sister and nephew came
to pay US Il long-talkcd of visit and even be-
fore they arrived, | had begun to torture
myself with doubts as to the issues of this
intercourse. As children, Frank Ingram and
had spent half our time together and as
children, had pledged ourselves to each 9TH
CT. Five years had passed since we had
met, for he had been studying medicine a
broad but an unbroken, though scanty cor
reSpondence had been always kept up be-
tween the two families. Frank had my ideal
as child. If found him so still-ifI were
to love him If, when he came, he brought
with him that future about which | had
dreamcd-broueht it in vain There was
something morbid in this state of mind; but
the idea had fastened upon Inc, and | could
not shake it Oft My very sclf-mistrust was
snare.
My aunt and cousin duly arrived; and of
Frank must speak the truth, even if am
accused Of wish to justify myself. Every
charm young man could have, think he
possessed | say nothing of his personal
beauty, or his ingenious graces of manner.
| could have withstood them. But he was
as full of disintcrested ardori in his profession
as Mr.. Lacy in his; had the same deep desire
to be of use i'll his gtncration--thc same I'M
selfish plans and aspirations: only he unfold
Ell them with such a winning sclfmistnlst,
as if he doubted his worthncss for the high
vocation of benevolcnce, until he warmed in
to enthusiasm and then the passion of his
speech, the very eXtravagaNce of his youthful
hopes, thrilled me with Il power far beyond
the reasoned wisdom Of Mr. Lacy's enterprises.
Oh, Elonged to join hands with him in his
life-iourncy, and lend my aid to the working
out of his Utopia, witha spontaneous fervor
Of desire never known before
Lesser things lent their aid. lie was
fine musician, and an enthusiast in the art: