The true Democrat., 1855-10-09
Mike Finck and the Bull.

make cynic laugh. Mike took notion to % in swimming, and he had just got his clothes off when he saw Deacon Smiths bull making at him-the bull was vicious animal, and had come near killing two or three persons-conse- quently Mike felt rather "jubus" He didn't want to cal. for help, for he was naked, and tie nearest place from where assistance could ar rive was the meeting house, which was at the time filled with worshippers, among whom was the "gal Mike was paying his devours to- So he lodged the bull as the animal came to him, and managed to catch him by the tail. He was dragged round till nearly dead, and when he thought he could hold on no longer, he made up his mind he had better "holler" And now we will let him tell his own story:
 "S0 looking at the matter in all its bearings come to the conclusion that I'd better let some one know where 1 was. So 1 gin yell louder than locomotive whistle, and 1t warn't long before l seed the deacons two dogs a comin' down like as if they was seeing which could get thar flst. know'd who they wer arter- they'd ne the bull again me, I was sartn, for they were arful wenamous, and had spite agin me. So says I, old brindle, as ridin' is as cheep as walkin' on this route if you've no objections I'll jist take deck passage on that ar back O yourn. So l wasn't very long getting astrde of him; then, if you'd bin thar, you'd have sworn thar worn't nothin' human in that ar nur, the sile flew 50 orfully as the critter and rolled round the field-one dog on one side and one on the other, tryin' to clinch my feet. I prayed and cursed and cursed and prayed un- til 1 couldn't tell which did last-and neither warn't of no use, they were so orfully mixed up.
 Well, I reckon rid about half an hour this way, when old brindle thought it were tim to stop to take in a supply of wind, and cool off little. So when we got round to a tree that stood thar, he naturally halted. So sez I, old boy, you'lllose one passenger sartin. So jst clum up branch, kalkelatin' to roost thar till 1 starved afore I'd be rid round that ar way any longer. war makin' tracks for the top of the tree, when.I heard suthin' makin n..orful buzzn overhead-l kinder looked up and if thar warnt-well, thars no use a swaring-but it wer the biggest hernet's nest ever blt- You'd E in in" now / recken, Mke 'cause there is no help for you. But an idee struck me then that stood heap better chance ridn' the bull than whar was. Sez l ole feller, if you'll hold on, Pll ride to the next station anyhow, let that be whar it will.
 So l jist dropped abord him again, and look ed aloft to see what had gained by changin' quarters, and gentlemen, Pm a liar if thar warn't nigh half bushel of the stingin' var hints ready to pitch into me when the word "go'' was gin. Well, I reck on they got it, for 'all hands started for our company. Some on 'em hit the dogs-about quart struck me, and the rest charged on brndle.
 This time the dogs led off fust, dead bent for the old deacon's, and as soon as old brindle and l could get under way we followed, as 1 was only deck passenger, and had nothin' to do with steerin' the craft, I sware, if I had, we shouldn't have run that channel anyhow. But, as 1 said before the dogs took the lead-brin- dle and 1 next, and the hornets drekly arter The dogs yellin'-brindle bellerin', and the hor- nets buzzin' and stingin'.
 Well, we had got about two hundred yards from the house, and the deacon heard us and come out seed him hold up his hands and turn white; reckin he was prayin' then, for he didn't expect to be called for so soon, and it worn't long neither, afore the whole congrega- tion-men, women and children-cum out, and then all hands went to yellin.' None of lem had the fust notion that brindle and belonged to this world. / jist square turned my head and passed the hull congregation. I couldn't help seeing the run would be up soon, for brin- dle couldn't turn an inch from fence that stood dead ahead. We'll, we reached that fence, and went ashore, over the old critters head, landin' on t'other side, and lay thar stun- ned.
 It warn't long afore some of lem as was not scared, cum runnin' to see what I war; for all hands kalkelated that the bull and I belonged together. But when brndle walked off by himself, they seed how it war, and one of lem said, "Mike Finck has got the wust of serum mage once in his life!" Gentlemen f:om that day l dropped the courtn buziness, and never spoke to gal since, and when my hunt is up on this yearth, there wont be any more Fincks, and its all owin' to Deacon Smiths Brindle Bull.