M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1855-12-20
A Victim Of MirlhfuIneSS.
CONFIDENT IAL DISCLOSURES OF AN OLD MAID.
| may safely saw that the organ q

may saiely say mat the organ 0
mirthfulness has been the cause Of mos
OF the misforunes of my lite. While
still small child, I exhibited the pro
pensity OF laughing at anything w6icl
struck me as being ludicrous, no mat
ter where, when or how it was.
AT one time, went to funeral will
my mother. 1t was the funeral OF
young lady who was very much be-
loved, and Of course lamented. Ever,
one was in tears when, on turning to
wards . window, saw two men sit
ting, one OF whom was noted for hi
length of nose, the other because h,
had none. 1t was too much for M,
risibles-I choked, coughed, ant
sneezed-Jrt it would not do; laugh
must, and laugh | did. Suddenly
shadow tell across my eyes, s,and fleshy
plotuberance resembling barbed houl
travelled some distance across my nose
and heard these words pronounced il
my ear:
"ChiId, you may be the next victim
to the fell Destroyer"
This completed my overthrow, ant
my mother, shaking me violently by
the shoulders, took me home, declar.
ing that / should never 90 anywhere
again ill | knew how to behave nv,
sell.
When | went to school the same fate
followed me. received more repri
mands and more punishments than any
ether six pupils, Once when my
teacher had been scolding me, ,and wa
just pronouncing pardon, | looked up
and perceived the remains of a pinct
OF snuff adhereiDg to the end Of hi
nose. Then, alas! woe was me tina
day.
When our committee came init
1school was always watching my
masters great hands and feet, and thI
awkward way he had of rolling hi
eyes and hanging out his tongue; an,
many are the seedlings received owe
the schools back. / laughed my way
from girlhood to maidenhood. A
length there came time to me, ,as ther
comes to all, when I was in love.
Edward Psyson was q youth whom
any lady might be proud to love. H
was gentle aud kind, and for time
was able to control my laughing gem
us while with him, Ny parents real
| ly hoped that | had begun TO improve
One evening he was unusually y SO
Der, unusually gay. He wished II
converse soberly, Iwould not, ,and trieC
to prevent him from doing SO. TIL,
more sober and grave he became, the
higher my spirits rose, till at length
was above the ealth the clouds dan
cling about in the broad expanse Of air
leaped from one airy castle to anoth'
er, TIL at length my lover, tired, anC
no doubt disguised, said:
"Amelia," he said in a husky voice
81 had hoped that you were the one tc
control my destinies, one who woult
be my companion through lifS's thicl
maze-a triend-s vile. But Set
my mistake. am friendleSs and alone
and must remain so. Forgive me TO
thinking to tame your free, wild spirit
| You have said it is useless. believt
lit. Farewell! hereafter we meet bu
as friends"
Iwas amazed--thunderstru blu
he was gone. often met him after,
wards, but he was reserved, and | wa
always gay and trivial in his presence
Oh, woman, thou art an enigma!-
When thou feelest most deeply, thot
seemest most gay! When thou lowest
most thou seeneSt 10 scorn!
Then came another lover, ight head
ed as myself, He was always joking
always gay. People said; what
match;' and looked upon the thing 81
settled. One evening he came to MT
with very solemn countenance, and
said:
'AmeAa, have an idea in my head.
sDoh't it feel funny?' said |; whicl
so frightened the young man that III
was unable to finish, In like manne
l have stopped two others confessions
Thus you see that my propensity 70
making fun has made me what I am
a lonely old maid. ] have not mourn
ed my flesh off, on account of it, how
ever, but on the contrary, have laugh
ed and grown fat
But still if some machine could b
invented to keep my countenance Will
| listen to another declaration, woul
be most happy to receive both the ma
chine and The declaration.
@A newly married man in tn
Qoua.y danlares that If he had onI,