Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1855-01-24
Our Gbip Ensklt.

lawyer, AuuEcsbiuS one 81 JIG ju&Ssef -
brought the prisoner from jsii onh hd6tas
corpas. =
9.That's 4 good one!' aaid fellow in
an under tone. who stood in the rear Of the
court. I'm bowed il ! didn't beo him
come here il cab.
t'Sir, said q pompous personage. who
once undertook to bully an editor, ''do
yoa know that ! take your papsr?'s II
have no doubt that you do take IT, re-
piled the man Of tho quill, "for seyelslof
my honest subscribers have been COM
planning lately about their papers being
stole in the morning
"A young lady explained TO prlnterth0
otbcrday the distinction between printing
and publishing, and At the conclusion Of
her remarks, BY way Of illustration, she
said, You may print q kiss onmE cheek.
but you must not publish u" That's
bright
"a stranger in a printing Office asked the
youngest apprentice what was hif rule Of
punctuation: 81 set up as long b. ] CAN
,hold my breath, and then put in a|comina:
whsr | cape, ! insert . seni-colon, and
when ! want 4 chew Of tobacco, mako
paragraph"
a preacher in Nashville, sometime
since made the following distinction bes
tween coquctts and iiirt:
"A ffiirt - q creature withEa heart but
without brains; 4 coquettc is creature
lwith brains but without . heart.
| "a most interesting sight 10 see, il that
|ofayoung Indy with "eyeslike aazelle, \.
and with clips like rubies, and with
teeth Of pearly whiteness', and with
cheeks TINT have stolen the deep carna-
/ ton Of the deathless rose, = with her mouth
|full Of gingerbread!
|. Lastantunn, an accomplished eity bellc
took 4 ride into the country with her mo.
thor. As they. were passing by aIstubblc.
field she looked attentiyely out 81 the oar.
Iriage window, and then putting dn . look
Iof wisdom, said: "Ah, now eel where
matches grow"
a Philadelphia paper saws an artist II
that city painted a COW and cabbage 81
natural that 10 was obliged to separate them
beforc theys were finished, because Ass COZ.
eon,,reaesed tctingM caJJqge.
sGentlemen ofthe Jury, 4, sa;isa West.
err err ifwy4r. . !. yeu ste rae.tsAp Il
catch a bear2 Would you maknli cols of
yourselves BY endeavoring to spear q bui.
falo with d knitting-necdle? Of would
you. attempt to empty out tic Mississippi
with , gourd? No, gentlemen, II know
you would not; then how can you be guilty.
Of tue absurdity Of finding my client gull
" Gilman slaughter for taking tile lie Of
q toalaR. #
1 ''Thou shalt not steal Reeollect this.
Is one Of the ten commandments-Aand lee
oureoal Pile oloneh
| An Arkansas "Roarer' tells Ola fellow
who once fell asleep under the influence Of
liquor, and who, while asleep. dreaming
thathe had u swallow live hufialc, horns.
md dill, commenced opening his qapinr
jaws, wider and wider, till the "upper ito.
~ of.his head" LIFTED itse!f enarelko01 ~
4 An exchange paper, under theEhead 81
Coed Advice" advises young men to
wrap themselves up in heirownyirtue. =
Many Of them would freeze to death this
winter, if they had no warmer covering.
stranger, which Is the way ia
Yillage?" There's two roads, :" respon.
ded thefcllow. well, which is tile best?',
T. Amt much difference; both on lem very
bad. Take which You will, aford you get
half way, you'll wish you'd tuck tothef.
H A8gentleman had board put Din part Of
his land, On which was wrilten:s II win
give1this field to any one who 10 really
.contented." Andwhen anapplicant came
he said, Are you contented?'' The gen.
eral reply was, i am "1hen,s' reioin-
ed the gentleman, what DO ybu want
with my feld?"
CDR. Small IS q very emo man, Il said 81
nice toung fellow. "buthe insulted me-
How? never knew him 70 insult
any body
u Aes--nc called me an faNfl, ana WAoE
never anything but gentleman.
i ''Wonder watts de reason dis raw min
wontgo now?' asked country.ndgro Who
hadn't seen much Of the world, addressing
his more 'high lafnt'' village lriend.-
Dat circumstance argufes easy 'nough.
niggah," replied Congo. ''de reason arc
cause dare am not sufficient number Of
water
Jimmy, what Is member DC Con.
gress?' "A member Of Congress Il !
common substantive, agreeing with self.
interest. and u governed BY eight dollars
> day understood"
II "a Dufchman speaking Of the avaricious
propensities Of one Of bis fellov.wbrknnen.
said: "IIe ish 90 mean dat III def weedcr
.wot lib 50 cold as 1t never yos, lib never
years drawers nor oonder shirts. hut goes
5arefaosed IN his 5oots.
Il n graycly asked By critic, whether.
awhenIa shor. gentleman becomes enamor-
ed with tall lady, itscan Be said III bin. =
he BAY sJialasn 4 loss9y
II isa popular delusion to. belibve that
powder On 4 lady face has the sine 81
feet "a il the barrel Of 4 gum assists. her
III ~, t,ff n Il Il ks4