Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1855-09-19
MISCE LII AN Y.
SraurgIed Relations.

When Twas child, | remember to have had
nv ears boxed for informing lady visitor who
made morning call at our house, that a certain
ornamental object on the table, which was cover
ed with marbed paper, "wan't marble" Years
of reflection upon this injury have fully satisfied
me that the honest object in question, never I'M
posed upon anybody; further that my hon%ed
parents, though both OF sanguine temperament,
never can have conceived it possible that 1t might,
could, should would OF did impose upon any body.
Yet have no doubt that had my ears boxed for
violating ,acit compact in the family and among
the family visitors, to blink the stubborn fact of
the marbled paper, and agree upon fiction OF re-
al marble.
Long after this, when my ears had been past
boxing for quarter Of century, knew man
with cork eg-or, at all events, he was at I'M
mepse pains to take about with him leg which
was not his own leg, or real leg-was so plain
and obvious a circumstance, that the whole uni
verse miuht have made affidavit OF 1t. Still 1t
was always understood that this cork leg was to
be regarded as a leg of flesh and blood, and even
that the very subject of cork in the abstract was
10 be avoided in the wearer's society.
have had my share of going about the world,
and wherever have been have found the mar
bIed paper and the cork leg. have found them
in many forms but of all their Proiean shapes, at
once tho commonest and strangest has been
Struggled Relation. ~
| was on intimate terms for many, many years,
with my late lamented friend. Cogsford, OF the
great Greek house of Cogsford Brothers and Cogs
ford. was his executor. believe ne had no
secrets from me but one-his mother. That the
agreeable old lady who kept his house for him
,ras his mother, must be his mother, couldn'tpos
sibly be ANYBODY but his mother, was evident not
to me alone, but to everybody who knew him.
She was not a refugee, she was not prescribed,
she was not in hiding. there was no price put up
on her venerable head she was invariably liked
and respected as good-humored, sensible, cheer
ful old soul. Then why did Cogstord smuggle
his mother all the days of his life? have not
the slightest idea why. cannot so much as say
whether she had ever contracted a second mar
riaue and her name was really Mrs. Bean; or
whether that name was bestowed upon her as a
part of the smuggling transaction. only know
That there she used TO sit at one end of the huspi
table table, the living image in cap of Cogsiord
at the other end, and that Cogsford knew that |
knew who she was Yet,if lad been custom
house officer at Folkestone, and Mrs. Bean a
French clock that Cogsford was furtiyely bringing
from Paris in a hat-box, he could not have made
her the subject of more determined and deliber-
ate pretence. 1t was prolonged for years upon
wears. 1t survived the good old lady herself
Ono day received an agitated note from Cogs-
ford, entreating me to go to him Immediately; |
went, and found him weeping, and in the great
est affliction "NIy dear friend" said he, press
ing my hand, 81 have lost Mrs. Bean. She is
no more" | went to the funeral with him. He
was in the deepest grief. He spoke of Mrs.
Bean on the way back, rs the best of women.-
But, even then he never limited that Mrs. Bean
was his mother; and the first and last acknowl-
edgement of the fact that ever had from him
was in his last will, wherein he entreated chs
said dear friend and executor" to obsere that ne
requested to be buried beside his mother-whom
he didn't even name, he was so perfectly conf
dent that had detected Mrs Bean.
Other people again put these contraband commod-
tiles entirely away from the light, as smugglers
Of wine and brandy bury tubs. have heard OF a
man who never impaired, to his most intimate
friend the terrific secret that he had relation
in the world, except when he lost one by death
and then he would be weighed down by the great
ness of the calamity, and would refer to his be-
reavement as if he had lost the very shadow OF
himself, from whom he had never been separated
since the days of infancy. Within my own expe-
rience, | havs observed smuggled relations topos-
sess a wonderful quality OF cunning out when they
die. Ny own dear Tom, who married my fourth
sister, and who is great smuggler, never fails to
speak to me of one Of his relations newly deceas
ed. as though, instead of never having in the re
motest way alluded TO that relatives existence
before, he had been perpetually dlscourslng OF It,
."My poor, dear, darling Emmy" he said to me
within these six months, ''she is gone-l have
Al ant had 'nFn
breashed one syllable to me of the existence of
any Emmy whomsoever on the face of this earth,
in whom he had the smallest interest. He had
scarcely allowed me to understand, very distinct
y and generally, that he had some relations
my own dear, darling Emmy" says Tom, not
wthstanding ''she has left me for better world" ]"
('Hom must have left her for his own world, at
least fifteen years.) l repeated, feeling my way,
Emmy, Tom? 2" ''My favorte niece" said
Tom, in reproacaful tone, Emmy, you know.
was her godfather, you remember. Darling.
fair-haired Emmy! Precious, blue-eyed child ~
Tom burst into tears, and we both understood
that henceforth the fiction was established be-
tween us that had been quite familiar with En-
nv bv re utation through series of years.
Occasionally smugged relations are discovered
bv accident: Just as those tubs may be, to which
Ibove referred My other half mean ,ofcsurse,
NV w,fe-once discovered large cargo in this
wSv. which had been long concealed. In the
next street to us lived an acquaintance OF ours who
was commissioner of something. or other and
kent handsome establishment. We used to ex-
change dinners, and have frequently heard him
at his own table mention his father as a poor
dear, good old boy" who had been dead Tor r. an
indefinite period. He was rather fond OF telling
anecdotes Of his very eaily days, and from them
it appeared that he had been an only child. one
summer afternoon, my other half, walking In our
immediate neighborhood, happened to perceive
Mrs. Commissioners last years bonnet Ito every