The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1855-05-09
Strapsl

~ ONoSt nosJ hOA uISSSihil6 hoiAS VIVA
think you fool.
RIA distinguished teacher defines geni-
US to be the power of making effort.
How TO GET A GOOD wIFE.-Take good
girl and go to the parson. a
0rMen, contrary to iron, are not to be
wrought upon when they are hot; and are
far more tractabIe in cold blood.
EEBe not affronted at Jest. If one
throws salt at thee, thou wilt receive no
harm, unless thou hast sore places.
EFNothing is more diverting than to see
men for whom we have a well.grounded
contempt, affect contempt for US.
EFEvery time you avoid doing wrong,
you increase your inclination to do right.
EFA friend of ours is growing weaker
every day. He says he can't raise five dol
lars.
ETA dull day and an empty pocket, and
being in love, affect mans spirits most sc'
,iously.
ETIn matters of fconscience, first thoughts
are best; in matters Of prudence, last tho'ls
are best.
EE The cure OF all the ills and wrongs,
the cares and sorrows, and the crimes Of hu-
manity, lies in that one word, Lovel
ES Truth-the open. bold, honest truth
is always the wisest, always the safest. for
every one, in any and all circumstances.
6TThere would be very few dinner par
ties if the rule were once made, only to in
vite those to dinner who really were in want
of one.
ETSelf conceit ard ignorance are twin
brethers; the empty head is usually the moi
seat, for it depends on that for making known
its existence.
crA mountain is made up of atoms, and
friendship Of little matters, and If the atoms
hold not together, the mountain is crumbled
into dust.
ETWho can tell the value OF smile?
II costs the giver nothing. but is beyond
price to tne erring and repenting, the sad
and the cherries, the lost and for5aken.
EF-The term "grass widows" arise from
the fact that their husbands are growing
blades"
EP down east Yankee very cutely says:
Though the men hsve the reius, the women
tell them which way they must drive
EE- Hope paves the golden way "a hiss,
and ohoe.f~lne.eris 10 thu iamp that lights tho
| teauteous walk.
E%Toast given by bachelorat BAN
quet in Pottsvlle:
1.-THE women and Coal Of Schuykill couu-
ty-Oh, how desolate would be the fire side
without them."
T-A journeyman tailor has achieved the
! following:
"Why are pantaloons like wells?"
"Give it up"
"Bekase they have spring bottoms"
HEAVY VFRDtor.-D, S. Morrison, editor
of the Quincy Patriot has recovered the g.
normous verdict of one cent from the editor
of the Herald, of the same city, for libel
which Morrison alleged the defendant had
perpetrated in his newspaper. The trial oc-
cupied one week.
DuTcH Auction. is the invariable
practice in Holland, to bid down instead Of
up at an auction. An article is set up at any
price that the auctioneer pleases; and If no
one bids he lowers until some person cries
"mine," and that person wno so clai ms it is
then entitled to it, practice congenial to
Dutch tsciturnity.
MEN AND BRUrEs. gentlemen. .
said nobleman, to his guests, as the ladies'
left the room, "let us understand each 9TH
er; are we to drink like men, or like brutes?"
The guests, somewhat indignant, exclaimed
-''liAe men, Of course" "Then," replied
he, Eve are going to get jolly drunk. for
brutes on no occasion drink more than they
want" A
RF"Mr. --, do you keep anything
good to take here?' e9
"Yss. we have some excellent cold water
the best thing in the world"
"Well, know it' was the reply; "there
is no one thing that's done so much for nav
igation as that. And even as beverage,
it's capital-mixed with little brandy"
ETTwo sons Of Erin were mcralizing
ONCt tuS tStut VI tuS idtC ClcCttUhs #ss
, "Bad news, Pat" SAYS Mike.
"Faith. an you're ri Sht there. " responded
| Pat.
| "What would ould Gineral Jackson say IA
\ this if he was alive nowg" calculated Mike
5 "Be gorra," replied Pat, she'd say be
was glad he was deadP'
INNALuAsLE REAEpIEs For sea sickness
stay at home.
For drunkenness, drink cold water.
!, For health, rise early.
: For accidents, keep out ofdangcr.
!, To keep out Of jail. pay your debts.
. To be happy, be honest
To please all, mind you own business.
To make money, advertise.
To do right, take newspap Il
To have good conscience, pay the prin
ter.
g The LAST YANKEE SroRY--A ladv passin,
a through New Hampshire. observed lbe fol
lowing notice on board: "Hor.es taken i
II to grass. Long tails three shilings and III
pence, short tails two shillings." Tho lad
h asked the owner Of thr land the difference i
price. He answered, "You see naa'am III
e long tails can brush away the fies; but III,
short ones are so iormenied By them I'M
they can hardly eat at all"
q RTA story Is ging the rounds ofa .ra,
= eler coming to swollen stream, findinv