The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-07-19
Uncle Joe and the Sheriff,

class Of articles which not only cheer bu
inebriatc. Of course Uncle Joe was a
uncOmprOmising opponent of the Main
Law. He considered it a direct infringe
ment of those glorious privileges for whic
our fathers. fought, bled and died;
However, Uncle Joe was q law-abidin;
citizen, and he made up his mind to o
hey the law so long as it remained in fore
"a resolution worthy of all commenda
ton, Nevertheless he lad TO objection
TO getting little fun out of it, if it shoult
prove convenient, and accordingly laid hi
plans for trick upon the sheriff, who h(
was aware, would keep watchful eye up
on him, in consequence of his having un
til this time been so actively engaged il
the traffic.
In fact the Sheriff used now and then tc
drop into Uncle Joe's store, ostensibly tc
read the papers, and talk politics with hi:
neishbors, but Uncle Joe could see as fal
into a mill-stone as most people, and he
knew very well, that it was all in the way
Of business.
Some ten miles of there lived in sol.
itary house in the woods a man who had
been q frequent customer at Uncle Joe's
Through his means he hoped to play bis
contemplated trick on the Sheriff Un-
Gle Joe knew that this man, who had a
fast horse, would call on a certain Satur-
day afternoon TO get his supply of groce-
ries for the week following, and that the
Sheriff would keep his eyes open while be
was in the store. Accordingly he con-
triycd TO see tLis Benton (the mans name)
in private few minutes, when they con-
cluded an arrangement which seemed to
promise good results.
Benton drove up to the door, and en-
toring asked mystcriously to see Uncle
Joe alone. Meanwhile oil his groceries
we're sent out, and deposited in the wag-
on. The Sheriff stood carclessly leaning
against post, but noting with argus eyes
the various articles that were put in.
At length Benton came. out hurriedly
carrying large gallon kettle, about whose
safety he seemed very anxious, and look
ing furtively at the Sheriff, he jumped in,
seized the rein, and was about to drive
of. when the Sheriff called to him.
"a moment, if you please. Have you
any objection to inform NE what are the
contents Of that kettle!"
Why" said Benton in a confused
manner, what DO you want to know fOr!"
His manner convinced the Sheriff that
his suspicious were well-founded.
because, to tell the truth, Mr. Ben
ton, have strong suspicious that it is
something which the law declares contra
band. AS an officer, it is ny duty to as
certain By examination, unless you tell
me what it is"
"a good deal Of fuss about little amp
oil, said Benton doggedly.
"Lamp-oi!? Al, we'll see if that's the
case"
So Saying, the Sheriff advanced towards
the wagon, with the intention of investi-
eating the matter, when Benton gave his
horse a sharp cut, exclaiming-"Gee up,
we'll tx EN- yet
The horse sprang forward, leaving the
bafHed Sheriff behind.
"a horse a borse.' he exclaimed,
"who i lend me horse!"
you may take mine for five dollars, p"
said man whose wagon stood in front
of the store.
That's exorbitaut"
Don't care. l cant let him 60 for q
cent less"
The Sheriff hcsitated a moment. Five
dollars was an extravagant price, but he
burned to distinguish himself in the Office
TO which he had just been appointed, SO
waving this, be exclaimed-"Ill give you
the money" and leaped into the wagon.
The animal which be had in use, though
not quite equal to Benton's, was an ex-
cellent horse, and he fattered himself
that he should eventually come up with
him-as be was still in sight
On they both dashed at break neck
pace, Benton in advance. Whenever
they passed house, the windows were
crowded with spectators, all thinking as
in the case Of the luckless John GlpiD,
that they "ran a race"
Three-four-fve miles were passed
over, and still the Sheriff was nearly a
quarter of mile behind. He comforted
himself with the houghtthat Benton would
make straight for his own house, and that
there, If not before, should trap him.
This would be full ten miles distant
from the place whence he had started
However, it was in the exercise of his du-
ty, and he would doubtless be repaid,
On-still on-pressed the reeking
steeds urged by their impetuous riders.
Seyen-eigbt-nine miles! and still
Benton holds bis own. But be is draw
ing near his own house. The Sheriff
feels the importance of overtaking him
before he has had an opportunity to con-
ceal, or otherwise dispose of the liquor.
For this purpose he spurs on his jaded
steed, urging him to still greater velocity,
while Benton, designed!y, although this
did not appear to be the case, let his fall
behind, SO that the Sheriff's horse enter
ed Benton's yard in close pursuit of its
legitimate owner.
"Ah! I've caught you, have T." be ex-
claimed leaning from his uannn