The Empire County argus., 1855-06-23

THE JUDGES Big SHIRT, A story goes that on
certain occasion Judge A.. who was notorious for
leaving home without the necessary precauton Of
carrying second shirt was on a visit to Raleigh,
n c. While here he was invited to attend gay
and fashionable party, to be given at the residence
OF Judge B. The visiting Judge was terribly per-
picked about a clean shirt for the occasion: and
while revolving in his mind how he should possess
himself OF the desired article, Tin those days ready
made shirts were not az now articles of nerchan-
dlse,) he was called on at his room by Mr. c. an
other limb of the law, but not Judge. After
passing the usual compliments, Judge A. remarked,
See here, c., have just been invited to attend
party tomorrow night, and have not clean shirt
for that occasion" hoping, doubt that his friend
would proifer the loan of one of his. But being q
bit OF a wag and relishing good joke ambzingly,
he concluded to have little fun, and at the same
time teach his friend lesson concernina his negli-
gent custom. ooh" said he, g there's no difficulty
about that can have you one made"
But do you think it can be finished in time!"
asked the Judge.
mo doubt about it. | have shirt-maker who
is perfectly prompt and reliable and | can vouch
for its being ready
"All right, then, if you'll be sure to attend to
it,
You may depend on it, it shall be here by half
past six tomorrow evening"
c. in going home that night called at the ladys
and ordered her to go to SIS store and get nine
yards of bleached domestic and three yards of lin
en-, and make it for Judge A and deliver it at his
room at half-past six precisely, and charged her
particularly there was to be no disappointment,
and not to deliver sooner or later than halfpast
six.
But cxpostulated the woman, "you mean
three shirts, don't you, out of nine yards!'
DO as | tell you, madam Don't you suppose
know what size shirt is required by my friend"
Early next morning the cloth was procured and
the making of the shirt entered upon. About six
o'clock in the evening c., all atired and ready for
the party, called the Judge, when he wa saluted
on his entrance with
See here that shirt has not been seen yet"
"Oh,' says c., pulling out his watch, sit is not
time yet, it lacks quarter to the time, for told
her to have it here by hafpast six"
The couple chatted away awhile when present.
ly timid knock at the door heard, and little
girl handed in the shirt. Straightway the Judge
began to prepare for donning the much coveted
garment remarking I" 1t is well made, and hand
somely done up too Smart woman, that"
"Oh yes, knew she would not disappont you
in any respect."i
By this time the Judge had commenced pulling
it over him. He pulled and pulled, as yard after
yard passed. and still his head was enveloped in
the shirt He complained of its SIZE but his friend
told him that he had it twisted but to hurry it on,
twas time they were at the party. Again he set
himself to the task, and by hard struggling got
through, finding himself enshrouded in a shirt five
yards long and four yards broad covering the floor
with his simple drapery.
In Gods name," said the Judge, in astonish-
ment, what is this the woman has sent me!" look
ing with CONSERVATION upon the monstrous shirt
around and beneath him. "What is it, say!n
1t was with much difficulty that C. could restrain
his laughter; but approaching his enshirted friend
and putting the huge collar down, so that he could
see his face he gazed with apparent wonder and
observed:
"What silly, stupid woman! I told her to
get just enough to make three shirts instead of
making three she has put the whole nine yards in
to one shirt. But we must hurry up and make the
best of bad bargain, for it is high time we were
at the party. You can push it down into your
trowsers, and nobody will be the wiser" So at it
the Judge went, his friend assisting, piling away
yard after yard into his unmentionables; (they
didn't wear tights in those days. and thus he went
to Judge BIS party-if not the finest dressed, at
least the largest shirted gentleman in the crowd.
C. promised never to blow on his judicial friend,
and kept his word until he learned the Judge was
compelled to tell it himself for unfortunately he
carried the big shirt home, and Mrs. A made some
inquiries He had to out with it; and it being told
by the Judge himself Mr.. c. felt at liberty to tell
it also, which he does sometimes, to the infinite
merrment of all who hear him.