Western Reserve chronicle and weekly transcript of the times. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1854-1855, 1855-03-14

home, in one of the neighborhoods o
London, near a park. We lived there
for many mOnths-I in slate of intox
ication rather than of earthly happiness
and he was happy too, then; for | am
sure he was innocent, and l know he
loved me. Oh, dreams, dreams
did not know my husbands profes-
sion. He was always busy, and often
absent; but he never told me what he
did. There had been no settlements
either, when l married. He said he
had a conscientious scruple against them;
that they were insulting to mans hon
or, and degrading to any husband. This
was one of the reasons, why, at home,
they did not wish me TO marry him
But was only glad to be able to show
him how l trusted him by meeting his
wishes, and refusing, on my own account,
to accept the legal protection of settle
ments. 1t was such a pride to ME to
sacrifice all to him. Thus l knew moth
ing of his real life-his pursuits or his
fortunes. never asked him any ques-
tions, as much from Indifference to any,
thing but his love, as from wifely blind
ness of trust. When he came home at
night, sometimes very gay, singing opera
songs and calling me his little Medora,
rs he used when he was in good humor;
/ was gay, too, and grateful. And when
he cane home moody and irritable
which he used to do, often, after we had
been married about three months, once
even threatening to strike me, with that
fearful glare in his eyes remember so
well, and used to see SO often afterwards
then l was patient and silent, and new
er attempted even to take his hand or
kiss his forehead, when he bade me be
still and not interrupt him. He was my
law, and his appreciation the sunshine of
my life; SO that my very obedience was
selfshness for my only Joy was to see
him happy, and my only duty to obey
him.
My sister came to visit US. Ny hus-
band had seen very little of her before
our marriage; for she had often been
from home when he was with us, down
at Hurst Farm-that was the name of
my dear mothers place-and l had al
ways fancied they had not liked even
the little they had seen of each other
Ellen was never loud or importunate in
her opposition. 1 knew that she did not
like the marriage, but she did not inter
fere. l remember quite well the only
time she spoke openly to me on the sub
iect, how she flung herself at my knees,
with passion very rare in her, beseech-
ing me to pause and reflect, as if 1 had
sold myself to my ruin, when l prom
ised to be Harry wife. How she prayed!
Poor Ellen! can see her now, with her
heavy, uncurled hair falling on her neck
as she knelt, half undressed, her large
eyes full of agony and supplication, like
martyred saint, praying. Poor Ellen
1 thought her prejudiced then; and this
unspoken injustice has lain like heavy
crime on my heart ever since: for l
know that 1 judged her wrongfully,
and that l was ungrateful for her love.
She came to see US. This was about
a year and a half after l married. She
was more beautiful than ever, but some
what sterner, as well as sadder. She
was tall and strong in person, and dig
nifed in manner. There was certain
manly character in her beauty, as well
as in her mind, that made one respect
and fear her, too, little. l do not mean
thatsh was masculine, or hard, or coarse:
she was a true woman in grace and gen.
tleness but she was braver than women
in general. She had more self reli nee.
was more resolute and steadfast, and in
6nitely less impulsive, and was more &C
tive and powerful in body.
My husband was very kind to her
He paid her great attention and some
times 1 half perceived that he liked her
almost better than he liked me-he used
10 look at her so often: but with such a
strange expression in her eyes! l never
could quite make it cut, whether it was
love or hate. Certainly, after she came,
his manner was changed towards me.
was not jealous. did not suspect this
change from any small feeling of wound
ed self-love, or from any envy of nv
sister; but l sawit-I felt it in nv heart
yet without connecting it with Ellen in
any way. knew that he no longer
loved me as he used to do, but | did not
think he loved her; at least, not with the
same kind of love. 1 used to be sur
prised at Ellen's conduct to him. She
was more than cold; she was passion
ately rude and unkind not so much
when l was there as when l was away.
For 1 used to hear her voice, speaking in
those deep indignant tones that are worse
to bear than the harshest scream of pas
sion and sometimes l used to hear hard
words-he speaking at the first soft and
pleadingly, often to end in a terrible