The Trinity times., 1855-03-17

boarding of the Miss Nancvisb
journal filled with poetry rejected of the
press with unIneanng prose, with dyspeptic
complaints of hard fortune, or bilious repin-
ings AT thy lot, and all the scnseless silhness
which thou didst nscribe therein. | could
endure the affected airs thou didst assume
before the lady boarders, that they might
think and call thee Poet; the abstracted air.
the appearance Of being lost in thought, and
the sudden recovery of thy truant wits with
"A spasmodic start; the shirt collar loose at
the neck, and turned romantcally down over
the coat; the lcng hair brushed back behind
thy noticeable ears, to show thy "marble fore
head" | could admire that self apprecia-
| ton of personal charms which made thee
certain all the young ladies were smitten un-
to matrimony with thy destinations.
How faithful vert thou in thy uastronom-
ical affections! how constant to thy first love
fried oyster; and how attentive TO the
choice of thy matnrer udgment-boled tur-
key, with celery, How unwavering in thy
economy, never parting with dime in char
ity, in generosity, or in friendly gifi but on
y disbursing the same for a full equivalent
in the whercwthal TO decorate the outer
man, or CRAFTY the inner individual. How
consistent in thy devotion to music and the
drama; always attending the opera or thea
ter wherever generous friends would buy the
tickets. What an intense appreciation hadst
thou of literature, always going fast asleep
over anything more substantial than the
morning paper. How fashonably sincere IN
all thy professions of picty, attending church
on SUNDAY, reading the responses when they
could be easily found and sleeping through
the sermon with as much reSpectablity as
any church member Of them all, truly, most
estlmable Damphool, | shall miss thy inter
mitent religion.
How lovely vert thou in disposition, how
amiable in manners; with what an aiectoh-
ate ar coudst thou kick the match boy out
Of doors, box the cars Of the little candy
girl, and tell the more sturdy apple woman
to 90 to the devil. With what charitable
look couldst thou listen to the tale of the
shivering beggar child, could see the bare
blue feet, and view the scan,y dress while
thy generous hand closed with Il tighter
grasp upon the cherished pennies in thy
pocket Anatomcally speaking, friehd Dams
phoo suppose thou hadst heart; emotion
ally. not a trace of one, the feeble article
which served thee in that capacity knew no
more Of generous thoughts and noble impul-
ses than Il Shanghai pulet knows OF the ope.
ra of Norma.
Go. immerse thyself in that Western
town where, like the rest who dwell therein,
thy abilities will be undeVeloped. thy talents
will be vailed, thy energies rust out and
thou wilt become, like them, perambuIa-
ting, passive, perpetual sacrifice TO the lazy
puds OF Cloth and Sauctitv
| shall mourn thy taper legs; shall la
ment thy excruclaing neck tie; ] shall weep
that last coat that did SO long tail unfold;
| shall sorrow for thy uncllous hair, and
grieve for thy perfumed whiskers; / shall
iOoS ia ,ain for thy pois' ed boots aid ie,g,l.
ed hand; | shall miss thy intellectual counle-
nance radiant with innocent mbecIity; and
| shall lose my daily meditation upon the pre-
carious irailty Of those Intangible legs.
But, ancient friend, when hereafter all the
rustic maidens have yielded their hearts be-
fore lhy captivating Charms; when thy man
ly beauty is fully appreciated, and thy intel
lectual endowments acknowledged by the
world deign to cast one condcscend%no
glance downward toward thy former friend
and perpetual admirer, and give one gracious
thought Of kind remembrance to sorrowing,
disconsoatc me, Doesiitks.
pamphoo, thou arfTupcA Aative--thcre is
none greater Farewell llenceforth, friend
ship to me is but name, aud survive my
bereavement only to concentrate my aifec-
tions upon my embryonic whiskers Sym
pathizc with me, Mr. EDtor, and remain
yours, inconsolabe, IN the bell rings for
dinner.
y. X. PnILANDER DoEsTIcEs, =. B.