Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-28
The Way they Make "VarSeA" Down
East


Such efforts at poetry always remind
us of an occurrence in neighboring coun-
try town. One winter the young people
used to meet about the neighborhood and
spend one evening every week cracking
wainuts, drinking cider, and enjoying a
social sit down. At the first mee,ing they
passed a vote by which all agreed 10 be
bound, that in the winter each one of the
company should either sing song or tell
story, or make verse of poetry. The
winter was nearly over, and all had sue
ceeded in complying with one or the 9th
er OF these alternatives, except single fel-
low by the name of Joe Willis. Nature
had denied him voice, and he could not
sing song. She had given him SO Iiule
memory, that although lie had attempted
several times 10 tell story he never could
remember the whole Of it. SO poor Joe
was reduced to the last alternative. Be
ing pressed at every meeting to comply
with the vote, and laughed at as the only
deficient member, ,he was in such contin-
ual steady for several weeks that nobody
could GET word out of him. The day
before the last meeting for The season al
length arrived and Joe had not succeeded.
He followed the plough all that day in
deep study. His brother Sam drove oxen
for him, Sam eXhOrted him to make out a
rhyme by all means before evening, and
promised if he would, 10 remember it and
write it down for him. lie told him the
young folks had made fun of him already,
and if he did not make out something that
evening, he would be a laughing stock
and disgrace TO the family.
4 know it, said Joe, (llfting his old
hat up and scratching his head.) 'Bu,
what shall l make rhyme about!
can't think of nothin.
No matter what said Sam. Make il
about anything that has happened in the
neighborhood, or anything else you car
think Of
WELL said Joe, I'll try He studied
along after the plough about half an hour,
and then suddenly called out to Sam
Stop, whow have it,
Sarah Rounds went down to the conjurer
To have her fJrtin told,
And uncle Etcn Cobb bought plow---'
Here Joe came TO q stand. Drive on
Sam I've lost it now
Alter ploughing along some time. Joe
cried out again, stop, stop, have IT..
Sarah Rounds wen, down TO the conjurer
To tell her fortn,
Uncle Eben Cobb gave more than twas worth
Drive on drive on! !! said Joe, giving
his forehead blow with his fist have
lost it again. get the first line well e.
nough, but keep forgetting ii. | cant
bring out t'olher lines so as TO make il
jingle
well try again. said Sam, and drove
on.
About an hour afterwards Joe bawled
out louder than ever, stop, Sam stop 4!
whow whow! | have it now, SAM
have it now +!
Sarah Rounds went TO EIkannah Dean,
All fol 10 tell her fortin,
Uncle EbOn Cobb gin four and siHPence fora
pow,
And 'twant good for nothin.'
There that's as good varse as any Of
'em can make
MORTALITY AMONG BACHELoRs.-The
forlon condition Of bachelors has a ways
been favorlle theme TO. ladies', editors
and other wits TO expatate upon. The
untidy room, the buttOnless shirts, the
stockings, full Of holes, and the thousand
other inconvenience Of the unmarried
state are familiar, in this way, 10 the most
Obtuse OF us all.
The poor bachelors have,in fact, hard
lime of it. They have been ridiculed
by the sex. and sometimes taxed by leg
slators, and now slatcians deal them the
nnkindest cut Of ALL by proving that they
die earlier than married men. The
celebrated DR.. Caspar, Of Berlin, estimates
he mortality among bachelors, between
he ages of thirty TO iorty-hve, al twenty
seven per cent; while the same ages, Is
only eighleen per cent, AS lie advances
he difference becomes even more striking.
Where forty one bachelors attain the aye
of forty, there are Seventy-eight married
men, difference OF nearly ten to one i'll
avor Of the latter. A the age of sixty
here are forty-eight married men 10 TWEEN
y-two bachelors; al seventy, eleven bach
,lors TO twenty-seven married men, and al
Eighty, nine married men 10 three bache-
ors. No bachelor, ii is said, ever lived
10 be hundred.
A keeper OF lager beer ceIler IN the
BoweIy, for the purpose of eVading the
aw requiring him 10 close his place on
Sunday. has been in the habit Of holding
religious services therein. lie reads
chapter nr two i'll The Bible, serves each