davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15
Running the Thing in the Grouud

A Know Nothing being requested to at
tend celebration of the anniversary of the
landing of the Pilgrim Fathers, secuted the
Idea with expressions ofthe utmost contempt.
What" he exclaimed, shall an Ameri-
can get drunk rejoicing over the landing of
lot of ID toregnersw A Know Moth
ing friend of ours told us the story, and he
says it is even so -Er.
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15
THE PLACER HERALD.
AGENTS.

". B. II. DoDsox. Sacramento City, at the State
Journal Office, on Street
THOMAS BoYCE, San Francisco, No. %, Merchant
street.
WELLS. FARGO & Co, and the PACIFIC
EMPRESS co. are our General Agents for Placer
County,. Advertisements. Job Work or Subscrip-
tons to the Herald, left at either of their offices
will - promptly forwarded to us
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15
From the Springfield Republic

The following specimen of Yankee wit aud Yan
zee poetry appeared some forty years ago in Con
lecticut 1t is too good to be lost:
Awhile before the amputation
OF this from Britain's warlike nation
y Snfcld. Yankee. somewhat witty,
A pcddlng went 10 New York city.
need not, TO the knowing. tell
" hat Jonathan took down to sell
For all should know that Sheffield staple
Is bowls and dishes made of maple.
He travelled all the city Ger.
In every house and every store,
In every street in every square,
Jonathan tried 10 sell his ware:
But all in vain. I'll tell YOU why
\ sapient reason-none would buy.
t'sd You Jonathan had wit.
So he on this expedient hit.
To sell his ware and fill bis purse;
II was better TO DO so than worse.
Some British ships of war were there,
Their streamcrs floating in the air;
Their sails all bent, and every day
Expecting TO put out TO sea.
The Yankee got-Lut how's a mystery,
llt's revealed in any history,)
4 naval officers suit throughout.
And when inus rigg'd he sailed out.
And with a bold air A merchants store
Entered where he had been before.
when TINS quoth he Our commodore wishes
\ quantity of wooden dishes:
And if you've any that are neat.
III take parcel for the fleet"
OLD Wholesale did not recognize
The Yankee in disguise,
But very pleasantly replied
Il think. sir you can be supplied
Although. have none on hand
There's some in town understand.
And if to morrow you Il send up,
I'll have them ready at my shop
Anything else. sir anything more
Nothing wanted from the store:"
The Yankee. bowing de6onaire.
Replied-~Sir. nothing but the ware"
Then marched as qnick as an express,
And soon reSumd his home made dress.
No sooner was he rigg'd complete,
Than Wholesale waddled down the street:
II our luck is bad. my friend" quoth he.
y ou We all your ware on hand | see"
Yes -ays the Yankee land wish
I'd never seen q wooden dish:
| don't believe ever shall
Be able half my load to sell
Saws Wholesale. Friend ii all farce is
To think to sell when cash so scarce is;
Besides your price is 80 out of reason
You will not sell though you wait the season
And yet. to 0biige gou. | don't care
To take portion OF your ware:
The offers out OF kindness meant,
If you'll deduct fifteen per cent
I'll take the load
No says the Yankee.
III neither take thee up nor thank thee;
I'd eooneI throw my ware away
Than fall one croa. from " hat say
Old Wholesale concluded, in trice.
Twas best to give the man his price,
So he paid to Jonathan his gold.
Thinking his ware already sold.
;Tis said. For more than half year
The merchants shelves were filled with ware:
And that he cursed the British navy,
For serving him trick 80 scary."
The Yankee. a you well may guess
Was h ghly pleased with his success:
And strai ght to Sufield. home he hied
And told his friends the trick he tried.
And now. while round the winter fire
The social bowl and pipe inspire.
The old man makes his neghbors stare
Relating how be sold his ware.
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15
DIR. J. D. Browns
MEDICAL ROOMS.
CORNER (236) WASHINGTON STREET AND
WAvERLY PpACE,
SAN FRANCISCO.
TARED D. BROWN. NJ d tbe o,,v roo,

| AKED D. BKUWN, NJ. D. The only regularly
educated and competent Physician now adver-
Using in California. The first Physician to estab-
lish dispensary on the Pacific coast for the cure
of maacles secrets.
The only one that can be relied upon to perform
radical cures, and in whom you place implicit
confidence.
1t you have disease, you that are wise, 90 to
Dr. D. H. Brown, and escape the misery that will
surely follow if you place yourselves III the hands
OF notorious quacks.
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15

The following illustrates pretty we'll how
some people are obliged to answer questions
about the KNOWN othings:
"lacob, vot YOU dink of de Know-No-
things
Il not know. Vot dosh yoa dink?"
Il dink nottin'."
by tam, dat ish shust vot dinkn'
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

The Anti Morbus Galicus cured me- j. HS
One box answered mypurposc A. NJ. p.
IL Is superior to all other remedies. G. .R.B
Many certificates have been handed us by
thankful patients with the privilege of using
their names, but the dclicacy of the subject pre-
vents us giving any of them in full.
j. d. BROWN. NJ, ID.
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15

1t q Roiluay Station, an old lady said TO
very pompous looking gentleman who
was talking about steam communctlon.
pray. sir, what is steam, Steam, ma am:
is, al --steam is, ah steam is--steam 2 Il
knew that chap couldn't tell We" said rough
looking fellow standing by, but steam is a
bucket Of water in tremendous perspira-
tion.,'
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15

Winchell, the humorist, tells story Of
dog. who undertook to jump across well IN
two jumps He fell a victim to his ambi-
ton. There are a great many people just
like that dog-folks who think they can
iurnp well in two jumps
"Husband, | don't know where that boy
got his bad tenper-not from me, am
sure" .,
mo, my dear--for don't perceive that
YOU have lost any
A bachelor, at a recent celebration offered
the following gallant toast: 'Ladies-s"ee'-
briars in the garden of life"
CAPITAL PuNIsHMEYT.-To be hung around
a girls neck till you are dead,-ip 'o'e-
Gracious. what glorious DEATH
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15
DIR. L. j. Czapkay's
GRAND
MEDICAL q SURGICAL
INSTITUTE,
AKMORY HALL BUILDING.
Corner Of montgomery d. Sacramento streets,
SAN FRANCISCO.
Established for the Permanent
Cure of all Private and
Chronic Diseases, and the Sup
preston of Quackery.

DR. l.. }. CZAPkAY, late in the Hungarian
~ Revolutionary War, chief physician to the
10Th Regiment of lonveds chief surgeon TO the
military hospital Of Pesth Hungary and late Lee
tnrer on Diseases of Urinary Organs and Diseases
o Women and Children. would most respectfully
inform the public Of California that he has open-
ed an institute for the cure of chronic diseases of
the Lungs, Liver, Kidneys Digestive and Genital
Organs, and all Private Diseases viz: Syphlitc
Ulcers Gonolrhea, elect, Structure, Seminal
Weakness, and all the borrd consequences of
sefabnse; and he hopes that his long experience
and successful practice Of many years will insure
him share OF public patronage. BY the practice
OF many years in Europe and the United States,
and during the Hungarian war and campaigns, he
is enabled to apply the most efficient and sue
ccssiu remedies against diseases OF all kinds. He
uses no mercury-charges moderate--treats his
patients in correct and honorable way-and
has references of unqucstionable veraciiy from
men of known resppctabiliy and high standing in
society. All parties consulting him. by letter
or otherwise. will receive the best and gcutlest
treatment and implicit sccresy.
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15

CPERMATORRliEA OR LOCAL WEAKNESS.
~ DIR. l.. j. CZAPkAG. late lecturer on dis
eases OF women and children, and chief Surgeon
OF the Military Hospital OF Pcsth. Hungary
would call public attention to Sptrmatorrhua or
local wcaknesS-There is not in the catalogue of
human maladcs one more to be deprecated then
this. as well because of present distress, as the
ultimate results The tone OF the system under
its influence is either impaired or entirely des-
troyed, and class Of symptoms superndnccd,
that units man for the performance of any Of the
ordinary duties Of life. The injuries done to the
physical part OF man are truly lamentable, but tr.
fling when compared to those of the censorium,
the great nervous centre, and to the nervous sys
tenn generally. This disease which is too often
consequent upon that solitary vice, sclf-abuse,
involves pathological conditions beyond the com
prehensiOn of the uninitacd, but which are well
understood by The regular practitioner. Amongst
the symptoms most consp cuous are the follow
ing:-LOve OF solitude aversion to business and
society, distressing timidity, nervous excitement
from Slight causes. loss OF memory. confusion of
IDEAS inability to reason correctly, low spirits
and lasstudc, ,dullncss of apprehension and misan-
throphy. These being functional arrangements,
are of the harbingcrs of horrit organic LESSONS
Of the brain. which profatuity, dcm1nt;a and
death.
For the cure Of this and all kindred diseases,
DR.. CZapkay has established his Institute. where
all may rely with perfect confidence upon that
skill which long experience and thorough devo-
ton to his profession has given. Those who suf-
fer should call without delay, and use the means
by which they may recup, rate and live. All
consultations. by letter or otherwise. free.
Addrcs, TO DIR. L. J. CZAPKAY.
Medical Institute, Armory Hall,
Corner Sacramento and Montgomery sts.,
Je 9-my San Francisco.
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15


ONE OF THE WIrNEssEs.-An old lady wa,
subpoenaed to appear as witness on rather
delicate case. She did not come. and a
bench warrant was issued for her appearance.
on which she was brought into court. The
presiding judge thought it was his duty to
reprimand her; madam, why were YOU not
here betore." Il couldn't come. Sir" Were
YOU not subpoenaed, madame" Yes. sir: but
| was sick" What was the matter, madam
Il had an awful bile. sir Upon your
honor, madam No, sir; upon my arm
EXPLANATORY RuEUMArIsN-Ac gentleman
wishes US to publish the following for the re-
lief Of suffering humanity. He SAYS he has
known number of cures made bv it. and
all of them in short time. Half an ounce
Of pulyerized saltpetre put in half pint of
sweet oil. Battle the parts affected. then a
sound cure will be speedily effected.
Lyncdbargh Express.
/ The Washington Union gives an author
itative denial to all the stories originating
with the \. Y. Herald. that cen. CasS has
any liberation for the Know Nothing party.
The Herald aScribed similar opinions to
Douglass and Buchanan and to a member
of the Cabnet-with the same talshood.
REJolc1xG.-There was great rejoicing at
st. Louis, on the occasion of the opening of
the Ohio and Mississippi Railroad, by which
means ST Louis is connected with Cincinnati
and the cities of the East by direct line of
railway The St Louis IhN9encer contains
nearly page in relation to the opening GER
emonies OF the road
The advertisement of doctor who under
takes the cure of Madness begins with the
words-"Worthy the attention Of the insane.
II YOU observe gentleman with his arm
around lile ,,.aiSt Of a Young lady, it is NOR
ally certain that they are ""t married,
. Which is the easiest of the three prores-
sions-law, physic, or divinity, Divinity,
because it is easier to preach that to practise.
Why was Adams first day the longest:
Because there Vas no Eve.
When did Absalom sleep five in bed
When he slept with his toretathers.
A patent medicine vender advertises pills
and ointment that will cure the worst fit Of
any pair of boots.
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15
Anecdote Of Chancellor Kent.

In Hartford County Corn.
The Placer herald., 1855-09-15

The advertisement Of doctor who under
words-"W Worthy the attention Of the insane.
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-31
Ia FAYETTE COLLEGE.

The Twentieth Commencement of Ia Fayette
College nc Easton, Pa, took place on the 25th
July. We annex the Order of Exercises:
PRAYER by the President.
o Saltatory Grafton in Latin. Henry Martin Kerr,
Huntington
Grafton Endless Growth. j. G. Thompson,
Brar ~ wine Manor.
4. Grafton English and American Constitutions.
Horato G. Fisher, Huntingdon
8. Honorary Oration.-True Nobility. VIM. M. Al
lison, Mifilngton.
Ora,on.-Tbe Bible Adopted to the Intellect. r.
{. Bryson, McEwensville. $500
:. 01atiop.-FOrmation of Character. IL. $. Whar-
ton Hunting dOn.
.. ra'ion.-Mystery. j. Morgan Rawling Lam
caster County.
10. Honorary Orstion-Philosophy. Charles A.
Apple, Easton.
Wisoff. EastOn.
-. O, aiion.-Witchcraft. William Chandler, Bel
videre, y. j.
10. Oralion.-Divine Impartialty. II. S. Aexan-
der, LwsiOwn.
"a. Oralion The Caucasian Race. T. NJ McCar-
rag Der, Wyoming N0ey. ~
Il. Oratior.-Science and Revelation. Elisha Allis,
Wesifed, \. Y.
II Vaedictory Grafton. L l.. Campbell, Belyi-
deIe, n Y.
ls. Prayer.
The Exercises were of an interesting character,
affordiDg satisfaction both TO the managers OF the
institute and its patrons.
The honorary degree of LII ID was conferred on
David Codwise, Esq of New-YOrk, and that OF
DID on the Rev. William Blackwood OF Phil
adelphia.
VIM. c. Catell, Principal of Eagle Hill Semi
nary at Princeton, N j. was elected Professor OF
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-31

Mr.. BARRIsGER's COSTRADICTIOE or THE Know
NOTHIsG CALUmsY UPOs PRESIDENT PIERcE.-In
article in Wednesdays issue deDouncing as ma
hgDaBt falfehoOd TIE carrent Know Nothing alega-
tiOn-tbat 80 The POpe's NuncO to Spain, before the
" Cabinet Of the President known to the public
here, declared, IN Madrid that the present Post
" nlast,r GeHerai, Catholic, Uoald be a member Of
"ne Cabinet Of Gen. Pierce. There is other and
abundant proof to confirm the opinion that this ap-
"pointment war secured 70 the Roman hierarchy be-
tore the Catholic vOte was cast lor the PreseM ncam
"teHtl and alsO referring 10 The statement OF TIE
haLefgh IN G. hegs,er Of the 2lst inst that ." we
are authorized state that the Hon. ID. ID. Barrn-
ger has written letter, which VIII be forthcoming
" IL day or two, reassertIng and confirming his
statement relative 70 the conversation which took
place between himse and the Popes Nuncio In Ma
(" drd the truth Of which The Warrington UHloH with
$40 knowledge Of the fact has thought proper 10
deDy'-we took occasion % cay hat we dId not be-
leye that Mr.. Baunger would ever assert the fact Of
TIE occurrence Of the conversation between The Popes
Nunco ard himself At the time and under the circum-
stances sp.clhed. Intelligence received yesterday
from Mr. Banlnger proves that we were correct. He
II al pescnt al Saratoga Springs in the STATE Of New
York and be bas stated % gentleman from this city
OF unQuestiODed intelligence and integrity that the
conversation with the Nuncio Of the Pope concerning
Il Cabinet Of President Pierce which has been made
The foundation Of go much falsehoOd and COLONIZATION,
fronsDired subsequenty 20 the Inauguration OF March
lsJ3. and to he reception Of the ateHgeHce e,eof
and u the names Of President Pterce's Czbinet IL
NodTld. Mr.. Barnnger also stated that be had ad-
dressed two letters 10 Mr. Rsyner Of North Carolina,
stating the time Of the conversation and ts crcum-
stances and pupor and asking that gentleman TO do
all parfs The Justice 10 state the facts ia the ease but
that MIR. X. had suppressed both letters, and mad
wholly refused to correct the alsehoods in the prem
lfes Mr. Barringer slso expressed his purpose pub
lsh bis last letter upon The subject TO Rsyber in few
days, If the proper correction end retraction not
made by that gentleman. Thus peishes another
know-Nothing caumnyl Washington Union, Nth.
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-31
FREE ACADEMY PRIZES.

T. he Edior q The y. y. Tyibsns
SIR: have a few words TO say and few state
ments 10 make respecting the bestowal Of the Crom'
well media at the Free Academy Commencement,
July a. 1855. find il stated that -" Ia 1880 Charles
II. Cromwell, ESQ, placed $500 in the hands OF
Trustees TO be invested and tae income applied an-
"nuslly fore. er, by the Trusfees TO procure gold
"medalto be awarded by them to the best scholar in
History and Bellies Lettrts in the Free Academy
A. one of The Trustees Of ihs fund ne very properly
appointed the Professor Of History and Bees-Lettres
IN The Free ,ademy; the other Trustees being DR..
". bsfer and T. C. Benedict Wen the medal was
awarded this year Dr. Webster stated that il had been
decided by the Trustees 70 award Il 10 Robert
Alexsuder donaldson. In this he ia error, for
DR. Webster and {. Benedict Esq, had decided
a. bestog II ufOn one student While the Professor Of
History and BellesLetIes strenuOusly supported the
claims Of another. J. would 20 any reasonable
tersOp thai a Professor Of any department VINO DAY
aitsr day in company Nth number Of Students
and who enjoys the most abundant Oppor mites
OF forming an estimate Of their talentsi would
by ell means, be the best Judge Oh men
resu4 Give merit II be il not, | hope mat
] may not BE- de- med presenting IN M iinng 40
II nav be ssed But by what means shAll the other
Trntees h. made aeouainted with the merits Of the
- s,rSen,sfr The svsten Of marking "a IN vogue al
,b .caTnv and il l. undo God that the student re-
ceiving The greatest number Of MARKS in any depart
rert 2 critic 10 the medal IN that department Un-
A. lis ME protest against the present disposal Of
lie Cronwen medal the rec pieLt for this year was
drriug the Sophomore year, No. three 3 on the merit
ron ir History and Bees-Letfres and even ii we add
be merit marks in this department together for the
Sophomore and Freshman yean, although The i an
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-31
And Gain .ome word. though honetr. ye, .incera.

And fain some word, though homsiy, ye. sincere,
To the fraternity that calls me here;
OF praise for lofty aims for grand desires
Wrought well sought nobly-for whose ssoires
To a pure fame-and patient, stores bis mind
With learnngs wealth, whtrewith to bless his
kind,
Piercing the Future brim With prophecies
or promise, which not Circumstance fulhls
But on brave spirits, and all-conquerlng Wills
OF waning Oft unwelcome, yet not less
Needed to temper youths ImPetuousness;
OF exuliaiien-but some drowsy friend
Sugc, ste perhaps, that Patience has an end.
That we've my verse the music OF the spheres
Ii could not always hold you by the ears.
True-and Decides, yours fancies can suggest
Al should say-and can print the resi-
III take lie hint from yonder yasning soph,
Nv leave and leaves and Que more poet or
Among the strangers present at Yale was n. /.
Wills who locks much more robust than when
last saw him.
Donald Grant Mitchell, Esq, &" TX: Marvel has
purchased fue farm of some 200 acres, under the
shadow of the West Rock, where the Regicides
were sheltered in their cave tie intends to make
q beautiful place of it, and it is well suited for
improvement.
WiIhouse-avenue looks most beautiful just now,
and stretching away to Whitneyyille are beautiful
villas, particularly Eli Whitney's place, now own
ed BY Mr.. Suy dam OF Your City and most prince
" mansion with the grounds OF Henry Whitney,
Esq., formerly of Aewlork.
should not foreet TO mention that among the
most beautiful ladies present were three mutes-
Mrs Peet and Mrs. Gallaudet, OF New \ ork, aud
Miss Lyman OF Massachusetts,, elegant, accom-
plishtd and beautiful they were the center of adj
miring circles whom they delighted with their
witty and intellectual conversation.
"iichelieu" . himself again. He has visited his
old home where most of his faults and tolies were
committed as a student and where most of the
weapons. forged by malignity and falsehood were
prepared for distsn. market 10 injure him. during
the Presidential contest of 1882 and he is grathed
10 feel and TO know that this malignity was as
poweress as ii had been despcable and that he has
lost the friendship of no one whose friendship was
worth farthing He has spent two or three de-
lightful DAYS in the society OF his College comPan'
ions and teachers and he returns to bis duties with
stronger resolution and lighter heart, but almost
frightened at the idea of seeing again in print the
name OF hthhLitO.
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-31
TIVE GREATEST MEDICAL DISCOVERY

Mr. KRNNEDY Of RoSburS, hss discovered In enc Of Sos
GfM 1SI S ne Sso,s Seys dosss a PpIs
lie has trisd eleven hundred cases sud never ia ed
possession husded oerthcstes OF u Value All ~fr
'~f sS sosS arc warranted to cure uursinssore mouth
one three bottles viii cure the wes' snd Of PnPe' on we
Two o., tsre. bettss viii clear the system Of bilea
Two bottles warranted TO enfe The worst esnker IL se
TaSes 10 dive bottles arc warranted ne worst case Of
''s 5gs "a w., hottie. are warranted to cure all humor IN til.
Two bo,e. ale warranted running Of the e@s and
Four Or IN Ioiics wsrrsnd copuP' and Funnns
one bottle v,l cure .asy eruption. Of The sam.
Two three bottles warranted 70 cure he worst case Z"
rngworm . ,...,.
cas- Of rhsuixEvul
Three 10 foui bottles -aiuhean,
Five te chs BEETLES VIII Of sorofula
Seuct always experienced from he his bottle and per
Notsss ocI - improbable 20 those Who have in vain ioe
al he wonderful mehcsues q ts day, TIA wsec
osi1s On &c Pastures and aons Ola sonewa should eGls
every hgoo ~ The system yet hye Get II you have
humoi bas 10 start There are no as uoE Nn huns nor has
about a. .uiurg cases but act yours. Pedued
Thousand botes Il ia the vicinity u Bosfon the ef
ct cure ever doBe Masebu.stts a. ehlTeu
ysa old % cd people Of yy have seen PCo pupy worny
perfect ~ hes.th by orr bottle
To those who subject uck headacn7 one bottle VII
always II eves crest relief IN catsh md d~aness
Se Who have ,skeu il have costve for years aud have
been ,csuaea ey Where the 10y sound II works quite
Il VII csuss very suar fccug, but YOU must 81 be
nsfnedi they always disappear fom bw days to week
ihsre never bad Trsu ron the contrary When that
eehug Il gone YOU VIII Tee yourself ke person
beard Of the s1tsVGxant encoriuuns that
isicues To-
Manufactured y DON AID KENNEDY No 10 warren-st.
ke1tary Mas fnce 81
Nholesale Agents fo1 New-lork G. v CLICKYNEk a Co.
Ne q Barclsy-sts CHARLES n. RING No 10 Broadway;
=. ga D. SANDS. No. l1 Wiihsrn-st.. MARSH ORNIS
W No $50 GreenWich-sf-. SCHIRFfELIN BROS & Co.
,s ndsr-st BOYDS PAUL, { anb,rs-st WELLS Co,
ibfta1khn-st.. McKISSON. ROBBINS Co. NoIA5 N de,
NJ HANILAND, HARRAL RISLEY Va1en-st;
All. CLOSE L Co, MAidsn-lsne; Mrs HAYS Brooklyn
t1scn ''4 y ." ~ 'NNe7'@ - ts-' ~-N~e4S0' N"s