Weekly hawk-eye and telegraph. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1855-1857, 1855-12-26
From the Bedott papers.
NEidn,, Eohn tti1 q Raoa


Here is specimen of the Widows indignation
at the old gentleman for whom she had set
her cap, but who proposes for the hand of her
! daughter, instead of herself.
.Br. Crane-Well Widow, I've been thinking
about taking another companion, and thought
I'd ask you.
iFidose-Oh Mr. Crane, excuse my emotion, it
| is so unexpected just hand me that bottle o
camfre off the mantierv she!f--l'm rather faint,
dew put little mite o my handkerchief and
hold it to my nuz. Therc-that'l dew--1m
obieegc teH yc--now Pm rather more composed
you may proceed. Mr.. Crane.
| 4h'. trane-Wci widder was going to ask
YOU Observation-Disclosures
IIiaoar-Continer, Mr.. Crane-dew-I know
it's terrible cmbarrassin'. | know when my de-
zeazod husband made his supposition to me. he
stamncred and suffered and was so awfully
tiuttered, it did seem as if he'd never git it out
in the world, and spose it's ginerally the case,
at least it has been with all them that's made sup
positions tcw me-you see they're ginerally on
certain about what kind of an answer they're
gwine to git, and it kind o makes them narvous.
But when an individual has reason to s'pose his
attachments rccprocated, don't see what need
there is O his bein' hustrated-I must say it's
quite embarrlSln' to mc--pray continer.
M Crnae-Well then, want to know if
you're willing should have Melissey?
Hido'c-The dragon?
lM. Crane-I hain't said anything to her
about it yet-thought the proper way was to
get your consent first. 7 remember when |
courted Tryphcny, we were engaged sometime
before mother kcdipe knew anything about it,
and when she found it out, she was quite out be-
cause didn't 60 to her first. So when / made
up my mind about Melissey, thinks me, I'll dew
it right this time and speak to the old woman
first. '5..E.-
!Vidop-0ld woman, hey. that's purity name
to call me.-amazin' periite tew! Want Melissy
hey. Trebbleationl gracious sakes alive! we'll,
Eli give it up now! always know d you was
simpeton Tim Crane but must confess Ididn't
think you quite SO big fool-want Melissy dew
We? If that don't beat all. What an everias-
tin old calf you must be to s'pose she'd ooI; at
you. Why you're old enough to be her father
and more tew--Mcssy amt only in her twenty
onth year. What Ridiculous idea for man
o yonr age! as gray rs rat tew! l wonder
what this world is comm tew; It's astonishin'
what fools old widdiwers make o Themselves
Have Melissy! Melissy! ~
Mr. L-Why widder, you surprise me--rd
no idea ofbeing treated in this way after you'd
been so polite to me, and made such fuss over
me and the girls. .....f.s. -sHs.s.
Itidoic-Shet your head, Tim Crane-none O.
your sass to nc. There's your hat on that ar
table, and here's the door-and the sooner YOU
put one and march out O tother, the better
it'll be for you. And advise You, afore you
try to get married, to go out west and see if
yer wite's cold-and arter you're satisfied on
that pint, jest put little lampblack on yer hair,
'twoud add TO yer appearance, undoubtedly and
be Of service tew you when you want to -four
ish round among the gals-and when youve
got your hair iixt, jest splinter the spine o yer
baek-'twouldent hurt your looks a mitc-you'd
be intirely irresistible if you was little grain
straiter.
Hr. C.--Well, / never, 81.
Wtao1-Hold yer tongue-you consumed old
eoot, yoa--I tell We there's yer hat and there's
the door-De off sith yerself, quick metre, or I'll
give ye hyst with the broomstick
4Hr. Ointment, sss
H;iom, rising.-Git ont, say amt a gwine
to stand here and be insulted under my own
rlii-so, git along-andi if you ever darken my |
door agn, or say word to Melissy, it'll be the |
woss for ye--that's all. |
4Rr. C.-Tremenious What a buster.
Hidear-lGo 1ong-go fong-go long, you
eyerlastin old gum, / won't hear another word |
(stops her ears,l / won't, won't, won't
Exit Mr.. Crane