davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15
g bo9ilte A0tm.
TO WHO? TO WHO

The following from southwestern newspa.
per, is the most ingenious newspaper dun thai
has ever fallen under eur notice.
Twas on cold autumnal night,
dismal one to view; '- .".
Dark clouds obscured fair Venus light,
And not a star appeared in sight;
As the thick forest through,
MUGGINs-as usual" blue
Beat homeward; " tacking y lett and right;
When all at once he i" brought up right
=, Against an old dead yew, c; .als.
At which he |" rounded to- 30 .-t' -.-
And -.squaring off, as if to fight,
Said, with an oath 1 shan't iudite,
g. Internal scoundrel, you, - -.'".
Light, and I'll lick you black or white ~.
Just then above him few
An owl, which on branch did light,
A few feet DER the boozy wight,
And then commenced "!T-whoo! ..-.
Tu-whoo !-Tu-whoo !S-Tu-whoo
Quoth Muggins-" Don't you think to fright
A fsllOw ofmy weight and height, ,.
With yer r-whoo-Ter-whoo-
You cursed bugaboo!
An'f you're Belzebeb, it's quite -->
on-necessary you should light
For Muggins amt yeur." due :"
Fer.meney matters are all right! 4 .aaz
The Printers paid up--honor bright -
Thereat the owl withdrew; 3,
And Muggns mizzled to! =. ', ~
But there are other chaI who might p
Be caught out late some dismal night, II.
to Who havn't paid what's due, II 5a,-. ..
They know wlIo-To- who. tg.- r.
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15
Steamboat Disasters

The community must have noticed the de-
crease IN number of steamboat accidents on the
western rivers, during the last two or three
years, but very few are, perha 5, aware to what
1t is to be attributed. Heretofore, explosions.
with ottentlmes the most disastrous conseuuen.
ces, were OF frequent occurrence, and the coun-
Try scarcely ever ceased to wear mourning for
the numerous victims who were continually
perIshng under these caamties. The change
IN this respect is highly gratifying. The Gin
clnnatl Gazette recently published an interes-
ting statement prepared by w. W. Guthrie,
ESQ, Local Inspector, showing the number Of
steamboats, in existence on the Western and
Southern rivers, and the number of disasters for
the SIX months ending June Both, 1855. From
this 1t appears that 80 boats were totally lost.
The estimated damage to boats was S573, 700
and to cargoes Sl,229,S00. Thirty-one lives
were lost. Twelve steamboats, were DESTROYED
by hire, seven were damaged by ice, ,ffly-two
were sunk or damaged by snags, five were dam
aged by explosion, and seven by collision. The
whole number of boats on the Western and
Southwestern rivers is put down at six hum,
dred. Mr. Guthrie says:-" 1t is worthy of
remark that there has been no explosion or coll
lapse OF tfue of any boiler manufactured since
the passage of the Saw by Congress- OF August
3Oth, 1852, and coming under the reduction of
steam pressure. In every instance, the Gisas-
ters have been from boilers made previous to
the passage of that law" .
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15
seIett afliseeIIanp!.
Fun among Editors.
A BET OF HATS AND HORSES.

One of the most humorous, good naturcd
fellows among our political editors-Prentice
OF the Louisville Journal always excepted-is
Mr.. Hammond, editor of the Albany Register.
The frequent laughable extracts, which we
credit to the Albany Register are from his pen.
Mr.. II. is an out and out Know Nothing, as far
as politics are concerned, which explains his
objections to the hat alluded to below.
Well, a few days since he was so much de-
lighted with a paragraphs, which appeared in an
"opposition " paper, the albany Atlas that in
the fulness Of his heart he remarked through
the columns Of his paper, that I" if the editor OF
the Atlas will accept hat, and can find any,
body that will charge one to lis, he cauorder it
right off," - r. .s..'.a. ....
The editor of the Atlas, being sensible
man. and not above receiving favor from a
respectable source, accepted the kind invitation
OF his cotemrorary, and ordered the hat. The
editor of the Register, in later number, ac-
knowledges with apparent surprise the receipt
of the bill for the hat, but without hesitation
assumed the debt, only grumbling little about
the style of the hat selected He submits
" that in common courtesy, and out of respect
to our principles, the hat selected should have
been a 'wide awake Know Nothing, American
hat, and not an out-and- out aristocratc beaver
tle says that the luxuriant character of his ver-
dancy upon this occasion, reminds him of the
following adventure which he once had in the
political betting lne:
ave were great jackson man, we were,
the last time that the old General ran for the
Presidency, and whenever a General Jackson
runs for that office shall be so again. We
lived IN the country then, and had neghbor
who was on the other side Of The political
fence, who was4a great dealer in HORSES
Well, we got into an argument with him one
day.: and SO sure was he of success that he
offered to bet horse against $50 that the old
Hero of New Orleans would not be elected
We took the bet. The argument being one
that had no end, was renewed from time to time
with the same result, until five horses on the
one side and $3.50 en- the other were stakedsou
the issue of the election We won. But Hve
had forgotten TO designate the animals, and
such a lot of horses as was rendered in payment
OF bet was sight to.see. Ii there was an
aiment to which horse-lesh is subject thai was
not exhibited by one of those five horses we
should like to be informed of it's diagnosis
There was ring-bOne, and SPAWN, and string
halt, and blindness, and heaves, and one vene-
rable old roadster had all these and in addition
was deaf as post We keptthem week as
collection of curiosties in the animal line,
and then sold them at auction. According to
our recollection, four of them sold for $40, in
the aggregate, and we gave a tin-pedlar $40
for taking the other. We have not bet on elec-
tOns since, and don't want to win any more
horses. 81. /.
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15
Parental Advice,

The eccentric divine, Sidney, Smith, once
wrote to his daughter as follows -. Lucy,
Lucy, my dear child, don't tear Your froei :,
tearing frocks is not of itselfa proof of genins;
but write as yonr mother writeR act Is your
mother acts; be frank, loyal, affectionatr. sim
pie, honest, and then integrity or laceration of
frock is of little import. And Lucy, dear child.
mind your arithmetic. You know, in the first
sum OF yours | ever saw, there was mistake.
\ ou had carried two (as a cab is licensed 10
do) and you ought, dear Lucy, to have carried,
but one. Is this trifc What would life be
without arithmetic, but scene Of horrors - =.
You are going TO Boulogne, the city Of debts.
peoPled by men, who never understood arithme-
TIC; by the time you retarn, shall probably
have receiYed my first paraytic stroke, and shall
have lost all recollection of you therefore, |
now give you my parting advice Don't marry
anybody who has not tolerable UNDERSTANDING
and thousand, a year, and God bless veu. dear
child!"
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15
Correspondence Of the Smyrna Times.
-esi u. IS> 10 ~ Hih<y EU|l'
LETTER FROM KANSAS,
MANHArTAk, KANSAS TERRIKoRY,
'' Hf.'' July both, 1855. /

".,'' July both, 1855. / {
h DEAR BRorHER Yesterday received not a,
small bundle of,the Times, which was welcomely
receivedaud eagerly pefused, for my migratory
life had prevented me from reading anything
from home for the last three months. We
parted last, inst before. Independence, Day
Whilst lookingboy the programme for the
celebration ofthe Fourth n'Smyrna, we almost
enVied you your 'enjoyInents.. Yet, our. enter
tainment was, perhaps, as agreeable, though
we had nothing more musical than the human
voice sounding through the 'trees-Gwe being
seated On the hillside by the running brook and
boiling spring Of the Purest water We pro;
ceeded thelce according to- the orders of the
marshal Of the day. The exercises opened, by
prayer after which the choir sang the Star
dSpangled Banner. An grafton was then listened
ITO from A, b. Marshall suitable to the occasion
land would have iediiedlthe ears of thousands.
Music followed, BY the choir, and then az Iddd
iOufhnent, 70 Participate in a picnic dinner,
aite5 which the appointed toast-nasterssfil led
their staiiensI and the patri0tic sentiments were
offered and respondedsto i'm good cheer, until
| the gathering, clouds warned aust seek our
,rpots.. AN enjoyed thcnselyesy ybesond-antici+
patton. tadsi bas ,bsisoh 20 ioass9 isi1i y1Vi 3
4, 'Phe eide Of emigration hither this 7ftilawfiI
I be uhexampled ID numbers, and Unparalleled
in scope Of country. From the st. Johns river
bin the perth y the kl9tEande in thesoulh are
!. NE sttention 'eb the people drecleds toward
! t.Kansas-i lScarcelyiasspaper cauWbe seen .Btlt
1whdt coataihs adTiees OF III and a 0tices Of the
Io9 A9fy pa aasi5 ss'ns ftHO sdj VtdR8oTq % 1s9h
= "a = "A aft,sssad a,
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15
A Floral Love Letter.

A late English paper contains letter, pur-
porting to have been written by a young gar
dener to lady whom he loved, and whom he
wished to wed. Whether exactly such letter
was actually written, and sent by tue gardener,
we have not the means of knowing, or is it of
much consequence. The letter is an ingenious
cue, BY whatever means it came to see the
light 1t reads thus; 4,-. -...
my Rose, Mary:-A you are the pink of
perfection and the blossom of May, wish to
tell you that my hearts ease has been torn up
by the roots, and the peas of my holm entirely
destroyed, since began to pine after yew.---
Yew will perceive that | ana gardener. My
name is William Budd. At first | was poor,
but by shooting in the spring and raising car
nation fast, obtained celery, and by a little
cabbaging,, &C., rose to be master (though
something like a'ereepe0 of tie whole garden
! have now full eomthaiId of the stocks and the
mint; l can raise ane- none from a,penny.reyal
to a, plum, and what my expenditure leaves
put III box for yew. If | may as a coxcomb
speak of myself should say that am the
Hover Of manhood, that am neither stand
ard nor a dwarf, mushrooms nor May pole.
My nose is of a. turnip-reddish kind, and nv
locks hang in clusters around my ears. am
often in the company of rakes, and rather fond
Of vines and shrubs, which my elders reprove
rne.fon, as 1 had better berry al. this, and say
that have aWindsor beau, and that have
some London pride; and as | am a branch of a
good stock with portly bearing,I 4 well know
when and where to,4nake my bOugh. So lett
uce act for, ourselves, and. nx an early day for
grating your fate with mine. | am certain
that we should make very nice pear, and
never repent, even when we become sage by
thyme Youwondib ahe balm of my life, and
would be the balsam; OF yours, so that. the
people who would call US green now, would
call us evergreen hereafter And now sweet
peas be with'yew, and IT he who tried it tares
me from yew Lshall becomea melon eanliAower,
aud wither away my tongue will always be a
Scarlet runner in your praise, for hifve planted
tmy hopeuin yew,G and now Isonly live for the
thyme whenx may hear from yolr ewn ,tu-lips,
that am your own sweet William, and moi
your WEEpING WILL.o."
90 aaz@-s~as .s-sa- -h-s2laIg9 sdT-e
Il, GRsiTwelse hundred galIons of liquor were
pouredlnto the gutter at BANGOR, MIA, ,sonpthe
goth ult,, by order Of the Municipal Court,oe
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15

suafas..s a.sh sna hr Rlenzstlsfge ~ efuae-nT 4
. 0@ tDoes this razor take hold weli!''' In
'quired' barber Of agentlemaff who was Ifiderl
'going'lthe ooperatiort of shaving ono Saturday
.nIghI1l2. aGQsao3 bsyofqwf baa 1uof Soa A.
/" Yes" was the reply, |" it takes hold first,
rate, but it don't let &c. worth a cent" I've
a, -sts0q % ssssssss@--s .s.ai-zopSa wolisY @y,e
Db or why was ist. Paul like ahorse? BE.
ieause he loved Timothy..lh .Bsh svsd yilo st
% - sloaujlGd baR .EbOapIf101 ,aiOtIOH n8s
~ .boqg
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15
Original articles.
NJ A Y !.

Written for The Smyrna Times.
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15

0r7~ little boy, about five years Of age. was
semitic grocery store at the corner, ON some
trlilIng erraud, aud while there his bright eve
lighted on barrel of plppjns exposed tempt
ingly to view just outside of The door, In go-
ing out it appears he took one, and returned TO
his mother munching ita 'o0.al sldf1e
"Where didyou get that nice apple, willis!''i.
inquired his mother. .. ..s, ....
Dot it at the drocery," replied Willie. 60,
"Dld the man give it TO you ~
"No, | took it," +t9lc2nn t4i'Ef3
"Why, Willie, thatwas naughty you should e.
not take apples, oranything else, without peras-
mission" ,e
But nobody saw me-"
ooh, yes. Willie, there was One who saw saw
you.' 'sa-g ia, - slaa .,.t. sa,la'I-I - s.1t
"Wbo saw me!ni SO IT. w a-laot edj ia l.o.i
why, God saw you.p &. sgajs esi,ev., .,.,..e,
i. Wlille stopped moment to consider, and
then, with good deal of satisfaction expressed
In his face, repled.' H1.IA sh hi-- ''lh St"Giii
"No, he didn't see me; there 5as an aro,lir esae
Ooer the door F',a t,s5 asoi4omh .yJsids
.dslyR TaT ,iF57r'7'f'r' .ll1 7d jgoA s4s 1sb
b. GA trout has lately died ia Blockys which
lived in garden pool for eighteen years, and
was twenty years OF age, It was blind in one u
eye, supposed from old age and it was 50 tafnezg
that II would come to the side of the p6oI anpss
eat out Of any ones hands sand allow persons tS.e
take 1t out Of the water. i,,,.,, t -, :.
Smyrna times., 1855-08-15

M R7iFwolse hundred galIons of liquor iwerei
pouredllnt the gutter at BANGOR, Teo, ,sonnthe
4 12oth ult,byq order Of the Municipal Court,qa d
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1855-08-09
Correspondence Of the " STAR
From Philadelphia.

PHILADELPHIA, Aug. 4--The Know-Noth-
ings seem 10 have their troubles like other
people. Mr.. WoISert one of their defeated
candidates announces himself az volunteer
candidate for Sheriff
COL Wood is in town, making arrange.
ments for one Of the four grand baby shows
which Barnum and Wood intend 10 have at
Philadelphia, Boston, Baltimore and Ciucin-
natl, in September and October. Nine thou.
sand six hundred dollars ale TO be given to
the best babies, tweniy-four hundred at each
show. If anybody has got baby that he or
sh 9 prizes, lei the individual send il along
Good babies ought 10 be encouraged.
The American Congress Of Dentists Assem-.
bled in This city last Tuesday, at The Assem-.
bly, building. The delegates number ovel
one hundred, and embrace members of the
profession from all parts of the world. The
sessions yesterday were devoted TO private
business, but the future meeting will be open
to members Of the profession generally. The
Congress will remain in session for severa
days. Among the subjects 10 be discussed
will be the administration of chloroiorm and
ether 10 patients.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1855-08-09
THE ASTEROIDS. A

One ofihe young ladies now teaching wish.
es US to act as umpire in settling the question
show many asteroids are discovered ?" We
answer, huiy-three. The frs; was discover
ed by Piazzi, an Italian astronomer, in 1901,
the second by DR.. Oilers in 1902, another
in 1904, and Vesia in 1907. Then after
long interval OF 3s years, fifth as:eriod was
discovered in 1915, three more in l847, one
in is4s one in ls4s, Ibree in 1850, two in
1851, eight in 1852, four in 1853, and six in
1854 OF these 3s-Isn were first discovered
by Mr.. Hind of London, seven by DR.. Gaspa-
ris of Naples, three by Luther of Blk; while
DR.. Olbers of Bremen, Heacke of Dresen,
Chacornac Of Paris, and Goldsmith also of
Paris have each discovered Two; and Piazzi,
Harding, Graham; Marth and finally Furge.
son of the National Observatory of The United
States have eacb'discovered one. .fAud then
too, in several instances The same.flanet has
been independently discovered BY more Than
one Astronomer.
OF these Yesls appears like star OF the
sixth magnitude, Pallas OF the seventh, while
Ceres and Juno are OF the eighth. OF the 90
asteroids more recently discovered we be-
lieve only two are larger than the ninth mag
nitude, while one or two are hardly of the
tenth magnitude. So diminulive in size are
they that M. Levefrier, after close exami-
nation OF The nature aud amount OF :nhue nee
exeIted by the entire group Of asteroids upon
The planets Mars and Earth, has arrived al
the conclusion that the sum total of matter
constituting the small planets between Mars
and Jupiter, including undiscovered as well
as known asteroids, cannot excesd about one
fourth Of The mass OF Earth.
The most striking peculiarly of these or
bits is, that they all lock into one another
are supposed to be represented materially as
hoops, they all hang together as one system.
The orbits OF Hygeia and Thems being the
largest Of all the orbits, completely enclose
nearly all Of them, and lock into only a small
number; while the orbits of Massilia. AS
uea, Pallas, &c., lock into nearly all the or
bits so that il we take hold of the orbit oi
Hygeia, which we fancy to be material
hoop, twill support the orbits OF Iris, Thaiia
Caiope, and Two OF three others, while these
in turn lock into and support all the rest In,
deed, if We seize hold of any orbit at random
ii will drag all the other orbits along wi'a il.
Tfis feature by itself, sufficiently Distinguish.
es the as,erod orbits from all the other orbits
OF The solar sysem.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1855-08-09

MORE KNow-NorHING TYRAENY-W. N.
Haldemsn, editor Of the Louisville Ky .)Cou-
rier, being member Of the secret order of
Know Nothiugs, was lately arraigned in the
Council TO which he belonged, for wiring
and publishing articles in his paper against
Humphrey Marshall, the X. N. candidate for
Congress in that district. A committee Of
investigation being appointed, he sen; in a
written answer TO The charge, saying il was
known before he joined that he could not
suppor. Marshall, and that he joined with
that understanding The committee repor-
ted in favor of his expulsion, but the report
was laid Oh the table. He then offered his
resignation. 1t was refused, and the next
night he was expelled. Steps. have been ta-
ken 10 get the members of the Order to with
draw all patronage from the Courier. These
facts are published by Mr.. Haldeman in a
long editorial article.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1855-08-09
EDUcATioNAL.l
To school Directors aud Teachers.

The several Boards OF School Directors are
requested to inform me al what time and
place this fall it will best suit their convent
ence TO have the examinations Of teachers
take place for their district, and appoint
menls will be made accordingly. 1t is desi-
rable and important that the examinations
.honld be conducted publicly in the presence
of the Board of Directors who a:e to employ
the teachers, as that will afford Directors the
best opportunity 10 Judge of the fitness Of
each applicant. In no case are teachers 10
be employed before they have certificate,
upon the promise 10 oblaiE one. II is taken
for granted by the Schonl Department that
Teachers have embraced every opportunity
of Improvement during the past year; and
the examinations are 10 be more thorough
and de,ai!ed.lhan at first. The grade of pro-
ficiency in the different studies will be indi-
Gated on each teachers certificate, and il is
highly important 10 the prosperity and sue
cess of The system-to the encouragement OF
future improvement of all teachers that Di-
reclors should establish a marked grade in
the wages of teachers. A number of good
teachers have heretofore received too little
pay, and deficient ones have received too
much AT The close of each examination in
the districts lecture will be. delivered, and
all are invited to attend.
Before the schools open for the term, the
Directors in each district should meet and
adopt a Uniform series of text books for the
use of the schools, where this has not already
been done. When the schools open the
most important subject for the Directors TO
urge is the regular attendance of each schol-
ar. Tie monthly reports of the teachers
should be filed with the Secretary Of the re-
spective Board, aud open at all times 10 The
| inspection Of every citizen, so that he may
know how regularly his children attend
| school, and with what success and prospect
| oil improvement. The attention of parents
should be invited 10 these reports, and also
| 10 frequent personal visilalons of the school.
My own visits to the schools will be as soon
in turn after the examinations as | shall
learn that the schools of any district are
open. X. w. WEAVER,
County Superintendent.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1855-08-09
North Carolina Election,

RIcHMoND, Va, Aug. 3.-In The first Con-
gressioga District Of North Carolina, Halifax
county gives II. M Shaw, Dem, majority
OF six over T. Paine, X. N, for Congress-
In the Second Congressional District, Edg.
combe and Wayne counties give Thomas
RufIin, DEM, 1000 majority over J. T. La
than, X. N. Wing.
The Third District, as far as heard from,
has given Warren Winston, Dem, large
majority over David Reid, X. N.
In the Fourth District, Granville County
gives $50 franklin, $50 Warren, 700 and
Wake, 45o majority for L. OBJ. Branch,
Dem.
The Impression is that The Democrats have
elected majority Of tho Congressman; the
returns show Democratic gains everywhere.
NORFOLK, Aug. 7.-Paine (Amercsn) is
elected in the frs, District by 400 majority
The reported defeat of Cliugman is consid'
cred doubtful.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1855-08-09
Anthracite Bank of To maqua.

The stockholders of this institution assem-
blsd at the Office of John Hendricks, Esq,
on Saturday afternoon last, and elected the
following gentlemen officers for the ensuing
year:
President-Richard Carter, Esq
, Cashier-John Hendricks, Esq.
TsRer-William Priser, Esq.
Board Of Directors Richard Carter, Mich.
oias Ballet, Robert Ratclif, Emanuel J. Fry
William Donaldson, Benjamin T. Hughes
Gideon MILESTONE, John s. Boyer, Stephen
Ringer, Geo. Wiggans, M. P. Fowler, Benz
Heilner and John Hunter.
The Bank is now fully organized.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1855-08-09
Tennessee Election.

NASHVILLE, Aug. 3.-In thirteen counties,
Gentry (American), for Governor, gains 2,
400. 10 the same counties, Johnson's (Dem.)
gains are 537.
NASHVILLE: Aug. s.--Davidson cou unty
gives Gentry majority of at least 1900
The Americans have doubtless carried the
State.
LoursvrLLE, Aug. 3 10 Pm. The net
gain for Gentry (American) for Governor, id
twenty-five counties, is 1900. Only two coun-
lies Of East, and three of West Tennessee
have been heard from, all Of which give a
gain4or Gentry.
> kouIsvILLE, August THE returns receiv-
etarom Tennessee, leave no doub, of The
kelection of johnson, DEM, for Governor.