Thibodaux minerva., 1855-09-01
Matrimony az it is.
"Oh, how 1t glads the parents heart,
wien life is waning as the sun;
Cali d with a daughter thus to part,
~ TO Mo" her Choice worthy one;
mat ne whom she has vow'd to love,
w Ill father, friend and nd nrnv. =

That he whom she has vow'd to love
"ii father, friend, and husband prove"
may De a little benighted. but it seems to
me that is writing mans matrimonial epitabh
too near the erzthelamtum! That bride -grooms
sometimes prove fathers, is an historical fact
that shouldn't be fool-hardy enough to deny.
My sentiments with regard to their proving the
friend and husband they oughtr, is contained
in the following parenthesis (????} The very
first husband that ever tiourshed, tried to back
out Of his very first serape by throwing the
blame on his wife! and his descendants in the
male line have taken to it (after him) just as
naturally duck does to water. As soon as
man makes shpwreck of himself nova days.
he'll tell you his home wasa't comfortable, or
his scite didn't make his plum-pudding as his
mother used to. That's the way we get pro-
tected and cherished.
Now girls, if you are romantic, dig clans Gf
you want toy but don't get married! Every
morning just as regularly as the sun rises,
jeremiah will say to you, "My dear, what shall
We have for dinner to day." then it will be
your duty to leave the little heaven (?) of his
society, and 60 down to the subterranean re-
gions, and request Polly to give you list of
the "dry bones," with their respective capa-
cities for characterization This being done
jeremiah and you will hold an interesting dis
cussion upon "pig's feet, and calfs head, and
headquarters, and fore quarters, and sausages;"
and suddenly you remember that the bottom of
the butter frkin is visible, and the tea is out !;
the soft soap, and saleratus, and molasses are
among the things that arere. Then jeremiah
scowls, and buttons on his overcoat in hurried
manner, and makes his exit through the front
door, without even looking at you, repeating
audibly-"a quarter of lamb, tea, molasses,
saeratus, brown soap, butter-botheration !'
and that's the last you see of him, till you sit
down uis-avis to the aforementioned "quar-
ter" at dinner time at which time he takes
occasion to tell you that somebody has failed
for whom he endorsed, or that some of his ships
have gone to the bottom, or that money is tight:
(ten to one he Is !,)-This will help your lamb
to digest.
Well-then Jeremiah lies down few minutes,
and, over sleeping rushes out of the house with
extended coat tails to his place of business, in
the same abstracted state of mind in which he
parted with you in the morning At tea time
he brings home great pile of political news
papers, pats you on the head as he would
troublesome spaniel, puts his feet on the top of
the secretery, aud smokes and reads, and reads
and smokes, till bed-times While you sit there
patting your foot on the carpet, twisting your
curls over your fingers, and wishing yourself
back in your fathers house; even if Sam did
pull your hair, and Ned read your love letters,
and little Harry persist in staying in the room
when three was crowd.
Heaven grant that nice little love of baby
may drop into your arms about this time.
Blessed be children those safe investments of
a disappointed wife's affections. With its little
soft cheek to yours, and its dimpled hands
about your neck, you can cheat yourself into
the belief that you are happy woman. If you
are so anti-republican as to be Baroness, adopt
a canary. FANNY FERN