The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-04-25

rise in the river never going to rise again,
believe, wife.
Little Daughter wish the rivers woul
rise. ~ H .
Pa-Wby, what have you got to do with tn
rivers rising?
Little Daughter-A great DEAL papa; for til
boats would run.
s7 Pa-And what have you to do with tn
boats running, my child, hey?
Little Daughter-They would bring th,
cotton down
Pa Looking over his spectacies )--Ane
what have you to do, pet, with cotton bales
Little Daughter-Why if the cotton was
down, pa you would be able to sell it. you
know, dear papa! (smingly.)
Pa-And what then?
Little Daughter-You would have plenty Of
money.
Pa-Well?
Little Daughter Laying her little hand on
his shoulder, and looking up into his face J.
Then you could pay ma that gold twenty
dollar piece you borrowed Of her, you know,
papa
Pa-And then what, MINK
Little Daughter-Then mamma could Epay
aunt Sarah the ten dollars she owes her
Pa-Ah, indeed! And what then?
Little Daughter-And aunt Sarah would
pay sister Jane the dollar she promised to give
her on new years, but didn't, coz she didn't
have no cotton, | mean no money, pa.
as Pa-Well, and what else? (Palays down
the paper and looks at her curously with
half smile.
Little Daughter-Cousin Jane would pay
brother John his fifty cents back and he said
when he gotit he would give me the half dime
be owes me, and two dimes to buy marbles;
and this is why want the river to rise, and
the big boats to run! And owe the nurse the
other dime, and must pay my debts.
Pa looked at ma. "There it is" he said |
eve are all, big and little, Ike row Of bricks
Touch one, and presto, away we all 50, down
TO my little Carrie here. She has, as q child
as great an interest in the rise as l have. We
are all old and young, waiting. for money to
buy marbles"
Mrs. Partington wants to know if it is rot
Inhuman, and contrary to the Maine liquor
law, for the allies to insist on the czar's taking
four points? "Only think! the poor man has
to take two quarts at once! don't wonder
that he has resisted and fit SO long about it,"
Sllktuzzy lives on five crackers and cup of
lean tea to enable him to sport rufie shirt;
while Miss Showso boards at seven shilling
houses, just for the gentility of appearing on
Virtues 60 fast after the individual ceases to
be. There's Pumpsby was quite an unheard
Of body before he collapsed into the coffin.
Now his eminent qualities of heart" his eds 8
interested and exhaustless patriotisn," his
srare humanity and prudence are the bur-
den of his whole neighborhood. To bring the
double breasted virtues out, man must first X
take himself out. ra
What a melancholy spectacle it is when
man young is seen wandering through the Il
streets of a strange city, alone in the crowd, o
solitary in the multtudes, meeting no extend
ed hand, no smile of welcome, destitute of d
money and friends, and-with corns and a pair
Of tight boots on his heel! i'
A Virginan of twenty-three was very lately
throwing out some affected sneers at matrimo-
ny, when grave friend in company observed, g
that marriages were made in heaven. "Can
you tell me, sir,'' rejoined sly nymph, "why n n
they are SO slow in coming down?''
When Mr.. L. was discharged from the pas al
torial care Of his church, an old lady, who was a
very fond Of him in attempting to offer conso- !.
lation, addressed him as follows r u
"Ah, Mr.. Ii, they may say what they in
will, but think as I always did. l think you W
a good man-not equal to Christ, but fully er
equal to Antichrist." mt
Mother said child who had been for ~
some time contemplating with no little interest
a recently spun cobweb, sdon't the spiders NJ
have to swallow spool of cotton?' "Why," '
asked the mother, "what makes you think so?"
"Cause, if they don't / don't see where they
get thread to make their web Of"
The wife of sexton belonging to one of the u,
in Whitehaven was last week inter-
rupted in the middle Of harangue about the =
hardness ofthe times, by person who offered
70 sell her couple of ducks. "Ducksr' ex- I'm
claimed she, "how can buy ducks or anything DID
else-We have not buried living soul these -,
SIX MONTHS
Utility should be the chief aim of all inyen- su
ions. A friend Of ours is about to bring out
sawhorse that will load itself, keep out Of the FL
gay Of the women folks, and help Patrick get
n the coal. The rest Of the week 1t il to be
Employed in trottng out the baby carriage A GU
,atent will be attached to it. The saw horse
With unitarian wrinkles is ful-sized insttu- !
ion.
A visitor going lately into a free school in rb
lew England during the half yearly e1amina- {
ion, noticed two fine looking bows one of whom, n
ad taken the first prize and the other the Sc. |
ond. !!
"Those are two fine looking fellows" said he '
. the teacher, suppose they belong to the c
igher class Of society = Evt
THAT is not the way we class our boys" - -
he teacher said; 1--WE follow the old maxim Of Rs
andsome is that handsome does. The boy z
tho took the first prize is the son OF man J.
rho saws my wood; the boy who took the and
acond prize is the Of the vice president of alsc
lie United States" rs
Alta social party few nights since, no mat Gre
n where, a lady asked lawyer. ,s.Why coal &
as like celebrated law book"
II have no doubt of its being Blackstone" i
splied the lawyer. lodi
But said the lady, we burn Coke also besi
sTrue said the LAWYER shut At most M the tic
bal yards you get very Little-ton' 'a nc
Mint juleps were invented, it is said, BY a ~
rginia editor, who having kissed pretty i
rl who had eaten some mint, was so insoxica- iona
d with pleasure that he devoted several sub
onths in attempting to produce an article efa !,
hich would recall the original as wildly as -