Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1855-07-07
ffrom the knickerb5'ker- -Jniy.l
A PHRENOLOGICAL ExAMISA.
TInN.

"Our neigbbor, Colonel S., tells can.
iial story Of certain wag in Erie, (Penn.)
Jolly publican, who contributes good deal to
the life Of that pleasant bot sometimes very OBJ
stinate borough. One morning, a travelling
phrcnologist arrived at his inn. and took lodg-
ings. The next day in the village paper ap-
peaFed an advertisement, stating that Professor
D. had arrived in Erie, and would make.
for consideration examination Of th, heads
Of the citizens and accompany the same with
accurate, reliable charts Of character. For
three or four days the calls were sparse bnt on
The fifth day, there was rush Of Eve or six 10
The apartments af sI.s p-sf--.--.. ------.-,-.
a eounifyman entered the inn where the phre-
nologst had his rooms, and said to our land
lord aforesaid Is this The place where the
phrenologisi holds out who can tell mans ka-
raoief By the bumbs onto his skull 2 Yes au-
swered Boniface, with a reserved and dignifed
manner. WAL ! want my poiato-trap looked
into a little. Where is the man = u am the
nan,' said the landlord. 'Oh you Be, ell !
WA, put in feel o. my Jumps. and gin us a
map. What's the swindle = There is no
swindle, Sir phrenolosy is soieHoe, Sir--a
liberal sSence' 'Uh ses--'xpect so but
what's the price for feelin feller's head ~
\ 'One dollar with chart Wal, 90 il: what
do dul-lie down, or sit up Does it hurt =
Not in the least, Sir take your seat in that
chair. There were four or five morning loun-
gers in the tavern, who checked langh, as the
couniryman took his seat, having first, as re-
quosied. removed his coat, vest, and neck-cloih
The wag Of landlord ran his hands through
The hair Of the patient for moment, and then
said TO his bartender Mr. Flipkins, take
sheet Of paper, draw four lines down lis whole
length, and put down my figures under the
heads Imeniion TO you.' 1t was done. Have
you got iii' Yes all right 'Very well ,
and the landlord went on with his examination,
which was fo9gher. psrhaps, than there was
any necessity for 'Put down Philo-progeni-
tiveness si1ty.' Down, Sir Very well
Reverence, feO.' Booked, Sir Combat
z veness, f,ro hiiadredr Whats thar said the
victim. NO matter, Sir you'll see il on the
chart. Caution, one: Creduliiy, four hundred'
What's tina, last lump Y asked the patient
Never mind, now you'll understand il by-and-
, by And now, Ito the bar-keeper) MIR Flip
kins, you ve put these in separate columns, as
Usual = yes, Sir very well add 'em upl'
Add en- u-ii-p-p!r exclaimed the phrenologi-
+ cal 'subjeet:' lis thai the way you doi' of
o-O-l-r-sei How else could we get your bal
ance Of mind--of intellect = Wal, 90 ahead y
How does ii Daboll, Mr. Flipkns = The three
columns are equal-they foot up precisely the
same . Tho landlord looked soen.nly and
sympalhisingly toward his subject: 1T is very
strange said he, but IL is so. Phrcnology
never lies. You have no predominant charac-
ter, Sir you have no intellectual siafs you
do Mt know any thing, Sir Excuse ne, Sif !;
bu! must state the truth, whether you take a
char, or not but, Sir, if there is any truth in
I phrenoogy, you are id fool! Under the
circumstances, Sir, can scarcely expect expect
you to desire to keep the chart which you have
contracted for that is matter of small consc-
quence, as it will be valuable illustration Of a
unique species, which can use in my lectures
hereafter. Authenticate all my lectures, Sir,
with real fiame and residence. The charge of
deception, in science, is one which was never
broueh, against me, Sir, and never iriH be, Sir
-nerern . 'Oh never mind give US the map,
said the subject 'here's the swinde, for it is a
swindle; but I'd rather pay it than to have you
roin' round the country maxim fool Of me ey-
crywherc else, as you have here--you blasted
A philoprogenitive hunbug, youl With this ex-
/, ploson, tho subject retired"