Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1855-12-26

10 The only cure for love is shilling
worth OF poison taken inwardly.
HA woman, charged with being drunk
and disorderly, denied the latter charge. say-
ing that she was too drunk to be disorderly
CyF An acute Anglican angle that enables
you to cross street so as not to run against
creditor.
H The Salem Gazette says the following
notice may be seen at a blacksmith's shop n
Essex: Ono HOSES shod on Sunday 'eept
Sickness or Deth."
GT Why is associating with bad characters
like getting a leg crushed during the dog
days Because 1t is apt TO lead TO " mo.tiG-
cation
II" Have you said your prayers, john
No, ma amt Amt my work. Bill saws the
prayers, and the amens We agreed TO DO
1t, because it comes shorter"
70 The old gentleman who undertook to
take the twist cut of the MaelstrOm, has gone
out West to whitewash the Rocky Mountains.
He goes in for large jobs.
Unpopular-Quarrelsome women, rainy
days, and those dirty-faced boys who are con
tinually boring you about " that little biIl''
that you owe to Mr.. Grip.
s The chap who took the thread of liz,
to sew the rent of bis house, has gone West,
and invented patent point for cross-eyeI
needles
E Says the lovely Julia to the beSitchin,
Fanny, why is new baby like cows tail2 5
Fanny blushed as she answered, "because /.
was never seen before"
EIgnOrance and cruelty are as closel
connected as Damon and Pythias. Who eve,
saw dog fighter who did not spell philosoph-
with an "F!" We pause for a reply.
Il The dentists generally have acknowl-
edged their business to be a gum game inas-
much as they are using gutta perchs to se1
their artificial teeth in.
EA man who don't take a Newspaper /
not only poor but will always remain SO The
less men know, the less they earn. Folks who
| labor for seventy-fve cents q day, always sica
their names with an Y.
- The last case Of Incidence is related in
neof our exchanges, il is that Of man named
John Hole, who was so lazy, that in writing
his name, he simply used the letter j. and
then punched hole through the paper!
P /" L understand your father is dead, ."
said man to a little boy, as he entered tie
house. 'YOu're right now, old boss" said he,
she's laid out in tother room as cold as q
wedge.'
v Western editor. in speaking of one #
the newly-elected Senators, says that his *
norance is so dense, that the auger Of common
sense will be longer in boring through il, than
it would take boiled carrot to bore through
Mont Blanc.
R The individual who tried to clear his
conscience with an egg, is now endeayoring To
raise his spirits with yeast. If he fails in
this, ii is his deliberate intention to blow out
his brains with bellows, and sink calmly in
to the arms of young lady.
wA certain newspaper in Cleveland.
Ohio. having advertised that they would send
a copy of their paper gratis for one year, to a
person who would send them club often, re-
ceived the ten-spOt Of clubs from q young lady
in the country.
l-P-An imaginative Irishman gave utter
ance to this lamentstion: 81 returned 10 tho
halls of my fathers by night, and L found
them in ruins 1 cried aloud, Ny fathers,
where are they and echo responded, SIS that
you, Patrick NJ Glathery?'"
BThe Dutchman whose refused to take a
one dollar bill because it might be altered
from ten, prefers stage travelling 10 rail
road. The former, he says, rides him eight
hours for dollar, while the latter only rides
Qlm OD6. .