Daily American organ. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1856, 1855-04-13
SUIT Lovengood's Daddy "Ac,ins Horse ;
BY l., or rrsSrssrr.

BY --- L., or TENNESSEE. 1s.
Hold that ere hoss down to the yearth I" "He's
a spreadin' his tail to fly now |" "Keep him whar
he is !" "Wol" "Wo, Shavetail !" He's dane
ing ajigp ... s.kso.s
These and like expressions were addressed to
queer-looking, short-bodied, smallheaded white
haired, hogeyed funny sort Of genius, fresh from
some bench-egged jews clothing store, and mount
ed OH aTearpoke, nick tailed, bow-necked long,
poor horse half dandy, half devil and enveloped all
over In perfect network Of bride reins cruppers
martingales, straps, surcinges, and red ferretin
who had reined up in front of Pat Nash's grocery
among crowd Of wild mountaineers full Of fight
and mean whiskey.
~ say, you darned ash-cats, just keep your
shirts oni You never seed rale hoss till rid
up Tarpoke is js next to the best hoss that ever
shelled nubbins; an he's dead as still-worm, poor
old Tickytaill"
"What killed him, sut 2" says an anxious in
quirer.
"Why, nothin, you tarnal fool he list died
so--died a standin up, at that. Warn't that good
pluck Froze stiff no, not that adzackly, but
starved fust and then froze afterwards, SO stiff
that when dad and me pushed him over he just
stuck out 80 (spreading his arms and legs) like
carpenters bench, an we waited seventeen days
for him to thaw afore we could skin i'm. Well,
thar he was--Dad and me,n counting on his fin
Jake we call him for short, and Jonas, and Phr-
eas, and me, and Callime Jane, Charlotte Ann,
and Simeon Paul, and Cassius Henry Clay, and
Noah Daniel Webster, and me, and the twin gale,
and Catherine Second, and Cleopatry Antony, and
Jane Lind, and Tom Bullion and the baby and
the prospect, and man herself all left without ary
hoss to crap with. That was nice mess for
spectacle white family to be dashin about in, warnt
it? / be durned-I felt like sorter stealth hoss
sometimes. Well, we waited, and rested, and
wished, and waited ontil well into strawberry
time, hopin some stray hoss mout come along, but
dog my cat eff any sich luck as that ever comes
whar dad is, he's SO drafted mean, and lazy, and
ugly, and savage.
Well one night, dad he lay awake all night,
snortin, rollin and n blowin and scratchin, and
a whisperin at man, and mex mornin says be Sut,
I'll tell youwhat well do I'll be horse myself and
pull the plow, while you drive me, and wen break
up corn ground, and then the old quilt (thats
many and the brats kin plant or let 1t Alone st as.
they damn please So out we goes to- the pawpaw
thicket, and pealed right peart chance Of bark,
and nam and me made gears for dad and they be-
cum him nightly. Then he would have bride
so gets an old umbreler what found--its little
orked piece Of iron, sorter like into pitch-fork,
you know--and we bent and twisted II sorter into
bride bit, snaffie shape-dad wanted It curb, "a
he said he hadn't worked for some time, and might
sorter feel his oats and go to cavortn. Wen,
when we got the bride all fixed on dad he chomp-
ed the bit jist like boss (he alters was most
complicated burned old fool any how, and nam
alters said 10 when he warn't about)-then put
the gears, and out dad and me goes to the field,
leadin daddy the bride, and totin the gopher
plough on my back. ~,
'When we come to the fence, let down a gap,
and it made dad mad he wanted to Jump the
fence on all-fours, hoss way. hitched him into
the gopher, and away he went, dad leanin forrard
to his pullin right peart, and we made sharp
plowin, dad goin right over the sprouts and bushes
same as a rale hoss--the only difference was lie
went on two legs. Presently we come to a sassa-
fras bush, and dad, to keep up his character az
boss, bulged square into It, and thru 1t, and tore
down hornets nest nigh onto as big as hosss
head and all the tribe kivered him right straight.
He reared and kicked once or twice, and fotched
squeal wus nor AIRY hoss in the district, and sot
into runnin away, jst as natural as you ever seed
let go the lines and hollered, "Wo, dad, wo"
but you mought as well have said wo" TO loco
motive. Geewhilliknsi how he did runl When
he come to bush, he'd clear the top Of it, gopher
and all; praps he thought there mout be another
settlement ov bald hornets In IL, and that It was
safer to 60 over than thru, and quicker done.
Every now and then he'd paw the sides Of bis
head with first one foreleg and then t'other, the
he'd gin himself an open-handed slap that sounded
like wagon whip, and runnin all the time, and
kerrin that gopher just about fast and as high
from yearth as ever gopher was carried, swar.
when he come TO the fence, he busted right
thru 1t, tearin down nigh on 10 seven panels, scat
term and breakn the rails nightly and here ho
LETT gopher gears, swngletree, and cleyis all mixed
up, and not worth durn. Most ov his shirt stuck
on the splintered end Of broken rail and nigh on
TO pint Of hornets stayed with the shirt stingin Il
all over; the balance oy em, about gallon and
half KEEP on with dad. He seemed to run jst ad-
zacky as fast as the hornets could fly, for II war
the tightest race | ever did see. Down through
the sedgegrass they all went, the hornets making
II look sorter like a smoke all round dads bald
head, and he with nothin on yearth on but the
bride, and nigh on TO yard Of plow line sain on
behind.
II seed how that he was amin ior the swimnn-
hole in the creek, whar the bluff Is over twenty
five feet perpendicular 70 the water and its nigh
on 10 ten feet deep. Well 70 keep up bis char
acter as hoss, when be got 10 the bluff he ji-t
leaped of, or rather he jest KEEP on a runnn. Kei-
slunge into the creek be went. seed the wat,r
hy plum above the bluff from whar was
Nov right thar, boys, he overdid the thing, II
that was what he was srter, for there's nary horse
ever foaled burned fool enough TO lope over EN-
sch place--a cussed mule mought have done 1t,
but dad warnt acting mule. / crep up to tie
edge and looked over. Thar was dads bald head,
for all the yearth like peeled onion, a bobbin up
an down, an the hornets sailin and crclin roun,
turkey y-buzzard fashion, and every once In a while
one, an sometimes ten, d make dipat dads
head. He KEEP right peart dodgin under, some
times dore they hit him an sometimes arter, and
the water was kvered with drownded hornets.
What on yearth are ye doin in thar, dad says
Do MT (dip) yer see these cussed (dip) IN
fernsl yarmints (dip) arter me 2 What says
Il them are hoss flies thar-ye amt really afeaId
Of them, are yer 'Hoss aes hell = says dad
they're rale (dip) genuine bald hornets, you (dip)
Internal cuss Well, dad, you'll hev 20 stay
right thar I'LL night and srter they 60 to roost you
come home and III feed ye / sorter think you
won't need any curryin for a week OF so.'
- wish may never see tomorrow (dip) II
don't ruinate you (dip) when do get out says
dad. Better say you wish you may never see snt
ther bald hornet if youseyer play hoss agin, says
| and knowing dads unmolli6ed natur, | broke
from them parts, and sorter come to the copper
mines | stayed out till next AFTERNOON, when
seed fellow trsyelin, and says /, What was goin
on at the cabin this side the creek when you psss-
ed hp Why, nothin much, only man ait
tin In his door with nary shirt on, an woman was
greasin his back and arms, an his head was about
a. big AZ ten gallon kap and he had MT the fuEt