Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1855-11-28
SMlistellaneous 8eaoilrg
BIDDY MALOkEY'S Cat.

at the mill 6s "Father Mat" on returning from
work one evening, was met at the ga!e by Biddy
lis better hail. in hiah state of excitement.
Mat" says she, /" there's strange cat in the
cabin"
Cast her out, thin, an don't be bothcrin' me
about the baste."
"Faix, an I've been sthrivin' TO do that same
for The matther Of Tin minits, past, but she's jus
,bcyond my rache. behiut The big red chist in the
corner. viii yez be after he'pin' me to dhrive
her out, Mat?'
"To be sure will; bad luck 10 the consate
she has for my houce, show her to me, Biddy
Till tache her the rispict that's due man in
his own house-,o be lakin' possession widoul
rs much rs by yer lave, tho thafe o the hull
world?"
Now Mat had a special an.iPathy for cats. and
never let pass an opportunity to kill one. This
he resolved TO do in the present case, and IN.
slantv formed plan for the purpose. Perceiv.
ing but one mode of egress Tor the animal, he
says to Biddy-
"Hare ye ircr male bag in the house. mo
darlint?'
"Divil a wan is there, Mat. Yez TUX il to the
mill wild ycz to bring home chips wild, this
mormin!"
"Faix, an did, an there it is yit thin. Wei
have yez nothing ut all in the house that will
tie up like n bag, Biddyg'
"T9olh, an have, Mat; there's me Sunday
pe,ticoat-ve can dhraw the strings close at the
iop, an sure it will do betlher nor le,tin' the cat
be LAWN yez."
"Biddy, darlint, yez jewel to be thinkin' O.
that same; be after brinsin' it to me-"
Biddy brought the garment, and when the
=. Il - ,oAa
substitute for the meal bag, and Mat declared it
was " Elegant"
So holding it close against the edge Of the
chest, he took i look behind, and saw pair of
bright eyes gIaring at him.
,"An is it there ye are, ye devil? Be out o
that now, bad luck 10 all yer kin, ye thavin'
vagabone We. Bedad, an ye won't lave my
hruse at all wid perlite akin? Yer self.wilI
bates pigs inlireIy. Biddy, have yez any hot
water in the house?'
"Yis; I've a pIintY, Mat; the tay kettles full
Nv it,"
"Be afther castin' the mather of quart thin
behint the chist till say how the shay divil
likes it,"
aloud him close, Mat; here goes the wa
ther"
Dash went the water, and out jumped the
animal into Mats trap.
2Arrah, bc the holy poker, have him n Bid
dy," says Mat, drawing close the folds of the
garment; /" now-bad cesa, TO yez, ye thafe, it's
nine lives We have is it! Be after akin me for
giveness for the ,havin' We have been doiu' in
me house, for I'm hinkin' the nine lives yc have
won't save We now any way. Bddy, seize hoult
of the poker, an whin III shoulder the haythcn,
yell beat the daylghts out of him.
Mat threw the bundle over his shoulder, aud
told Biddy TO play "St. Parick's day in the
morning" on it, Biddy struck about three notes
of that popular Irish air, and suddenly stopped,
exclaiming:
".What smils so quare, Mat7 It's takin' me
BIRTH away wild the power Nv it. Och, murther,
Mat, shure an We have the dvi in the sack"
"Bate the old haythen, then; yez ill niver
have betlher chance. Bate the horns off i'm ;
lather in like blazcs, ME darlintm
laugh" says Biddy, "pm faintins' wild the
power NV i'm. Cast i'm off yez, Mat"
SLOWLY St. Palhric!" says Mat, throwing
down the sack. "Biddy, the basic is poecat |!
Lave the house, or yez i'll be kilt intirey. Muir
ther and turf, how the haythen smis. Och,
Biddy MaIoney. purity kittle Nv fish ycz made
nv it, TO be mistaking that little divil for hurm.
less cat"
1Mat, for the love Nv God, if yez be conva.
nearly ckoked wid i'm. Och, Biddy Maloney,
bad luck to yez for LAWN oud Ireland, to be
mur,hered in this way! Howly Mary purlict
me! Mat, I'm clanc kilt inlirely; take me out
Nv this"
Mat drew her out Of doors, and then broke
for The pump like quarter-horse, closely fol-
lowed BY Biddy.
"Shure. that little villain bates the divil in.
tirely; he's ruined me house nm kilt Biddy, an
put me out O. consato wild meself for month
10 come. Och, the desaivin' vagabons, bad
luck TO 'im," and Mat plunged his head into the
horse.trough up to his shoulders.
"Ge, ou, O. that Mat, I'm nearly blind" and
Biddy went under water. "Oct, the murthern
baste," says Biddy, sPuttering the water out Of
her mouth, "me best petticoat is spoilt intirey.
Mat Maoney, divil u trap will iver hel you
to sit for Il cat ng in"
"Don't throuble yourself, Mistress Maloney,
ye've played the devil MS it is. Niver fear me
akin u ha'porlh o yer assestance. It's a natural
fool ye are to be takin' baste Nv polecat for
house cat"
Mat and Biddy went cautiously back to the
cabin from which the offensive quadruped had
takin his departure. Things were turned out
of doors, Biddys petticoat buried, the bed, which
fortunately escaped, moved TO near neghbor's
the stove moved outside. and for week they
kept house out of doors, by which time, by
dint of scrubbing, washing and airing, the house
was rendered once more habitable, but neither
Mat or Biddy haze forgotten the strange cal" :"
"MoRE'N You'll KEEP."-Some years ago,
an old sign.painter, who was very cross, very
gruff, and little deaf, was engaged to paint the
Ten Commandments on some tablets in church
not five miles from Buffalo. He worked two
days at it, and at the close of the second day
the pastor of the church came in to see how tho
work progressed. The old man stood by, smok-
ing short pipe, as the reverend gentlemen ran
his eye over the tablets.
"Eh!" said the pastor as his familiar eye
detected something wrong in the wording of The
holy precepts; "why, you careless old person,
you left part Of one of the commandments
entirely out; don't you see!"
emo; no such thing" said the old man, put
ting on his spectacles; "no, nothing left out /;
where :"
aWhy, there" persisted the pastor; here,
look at them in tho Bible; you have left some
of the commandments out"
swell, what if have!" said old obstinacy,
"a he ran his eye compIacently over his work ;
what if have! There's blessed sight more
there now than you'll keep!"
Another and more correct artist was employed
next day.