American Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1855-1860, 1855-05-03

my early miSgivings as to yours being a
true church, and as to its holding the true
faith. These causes might multiply in
definitely; for you well know it to be law
of the human mind that when its conf
dence is once shaken, it sees causes of sus-
picon even in things true and honest. In
my first letter stated to you that when
deliberately rejected the authority and
teachings ofyour church, became an in
tidel. And my object in the preset letter
is to reveal to you the process through
which my mind passed, in its transition
from popery to infdelity. believe that
your Reverence win pronounce it very
natural one.
On reaching the years Of maturity my
mind was perfect blank as to all religious
instruction. And if such instruction is
ever given by your church or priests, my
advantages were peculiarly good for re-
ceiving it. Indeed | was even talked of
as candidate for Maynooth. Whilst my
mind was filed with superstitious notions
concerning meats and penances, and exter-
nal observances, and legends, it was ut
terly ignorant of the Bible. With my
Missal l was somewhat familiar; | said the
Catechism when | was confirmed at the
age of nine or ten; and that was the amount
of my religious education. At the age of
eighteen years the CatechSm was forgot
ten, and the Missal was neglected; and as
my conscience was uneducated, and nv
mind unfinished withrelgious principles,
the only lest of truth left me was my com
mon sense. then became the associate
of companions of Protestant education, who
would sometimes ask me my reason for
this aud that observance; and not being a
BILE TO give any, as none were evergive me,
| was frequently put to the blush. | can
didly state to you that it was in this way
was first led to bring to the test of my
common sense, then my only standard,
some OF the doctrines and rites of your
church. And this reveals the reason why
your priesthood is SO intensely concerned
that Catholic children should be guarded
from all contact with those of Protestant
education. The spirit of inquiry is con-
tagious; and pope, bislo[ s,;nd priests fear
it worse than the plague. Its indulgence,
you know, either is, OF leads to, mortal sin
Let me briefly state to you some of the eff
fects ofthis spirit ofinquiry upon me.
From my youth up | was taught to alb
stain from all meats on Fridays and Satur-
days. Why on these days more than any
other, | was never told. And if by mis-
take was involved in the violation of this
law, l felt a burden upon my conscience,
of which confession could only relieve me.
Circumstances led me to inquire into this
matter. | saw good papists eating eggs,
and fish, and getting drunk on these days;
but this was no violation Of the law of the
Church! Yet if these persons should cal
meat Of any kind; or use gravy in any
way, their conscience were troubled and
they must perform penance! This led me
to ask. Is this reasonable? If | may ca;
meat on Thursday, why not on Friday?-
Can God, in things of this kind, make that
to be sin at one time which is not on
another? saw also persons, for whose
moral worth | had the highest regard,
eating meats on those days, and without
any injury! And came to the conclu-
sion that your regulations upon this mat
ter were unreasonable, and rejected them.
And, as far as | now remember, this was
my first step towards light and freedom.
). Whether our course is upwards, to-
wards the region of light, or downwards,
towards that of darkness, one step always
prepars for another. Devoted to reading
Mt this period ofmy life, | perused, with
out discrimination, every thing that came
in my way. Some book or tract, now for
gotten, gave rise to some inquiries as to
the Mass. | asked, what does it meas? /
could not tell, though for.years a regular
attendant upon it. Why does the priest
dress so? What book does he read from,
when carried now to his right, and now to
his left? What mean those candles burn
ing at MONDAY? Why do l say prayers
in Latin. which l understand not? Should
| not know what 1 am saying when ad-
dressing my Maker? Why bow down, and
strike my breast, when the little bell
rings? What does it all mean? The
darkness of Egypt rested upon these ques-
tions. thus reasoned with myself; God
is spiritual and intelligent being, and he
requires an intelligent worship. What
worship l render him in the Mass, /
know not. My intelligent worship only is
acceptable to him, and is beneficial to me.
lam rational being, and degrade my
nature, and insult my Maker, by offering
to Him worship in which neither my rea-
son, nor His intelligence is consulted
Having come to this conclusion, gave up
the Mass as form of worship well enough
fitted for an idol, but untitled to be rem
dered by rational being to the infinitely
intelligent Jehovah. have never been to
Mass since, save out of curiosity to see how
an ignorant people can be edited by what
seems to mo the most unmeaning and far
cical of all the rites that ever man has de-
vised. And you know, sir, that with all
devotion and honesty Catholic may wait
on you Masses until his locks are as white
as your surplice, and then pass into eter-
nifty without one single spiritual idea upon
+ the subject ofreligion; resolving itallinto