The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1855-01-17
VARIETY.

| he EISPEKlENCb Of n cEhSiINE MAN
IN New YORK; dined one day at the lr-
wing House. The man next me said TO his
ncighbor, How's flour to-day?"
"Why, rising; we made nice thing of
it this mornings few thousands"
Dined next day at the Astor Man next
me observed to his friend, "Well, how's
Erie?"
"Oh! down, sir, down-dull, very dull
but there's money in it.
Dined next day at st. Nicholas. Man
rext To me said to his neighbor, "Shipping
business bad, isn't itr'
81 should think 50; YOU can buy a ship
now for five thousand dollars less than you
could two months ago, and freights are aw-
fully low.
Dined next day at the Metropoleton.
Man next to me said to his neighbour
"Whats the news from Europer'
"Consols have fallen one half, and money
is tight"
Dined next day at New York Hotel. Man
next 10 me said to his neighbor, "By Jove,
that's pretty girl yonder"
"She is so, and besides is worth a hun.
dred -"
at once left the table. Heavens en-
claimed |, is there no spot in this great city
where man can eat without having such
talk crammed down his throat with his food!
Money-money-money-Bu6dLoCour Courier
OK THE JURY-The wheeling Intcllio en-
Ger relates the following:
1--WE know q young man in an adjacent
county, who, when he was caught for the
first time and put on jury, unobservcd by
the Judge and sheriff quietly stepped Out
during long speech ofa LAWYER. He was
found outside the Court House, quietly en-
Joying his cigar. When rcpremanded and
commanded TO return, he "didn't suppose
1t was any harm to step out and take a
smoke, when there was eleven others to
listen to the speech"
.... 1t is stated that upwards of 5000
mechanics are now without emplc yment in
the city of Newark, N. j., and the greatest
destitution prevails among them.
49, SAL" said one girl to another, I'm
so glad I've no beau. now"
"Why so" asked the other.
ooh, cause, | can cat as many onions as
please"
IA doctor once asked lawyer wha
was meant by docking an entail 2
"Why, doctor" replied the attorney, "it
Is doing what you will not do with your
patients; it s suffering recovery"
.... The credit system ruins both buyer
! and seller. 1t ruins the latter with bad
debts, and the former with extravaganza.
Due bills are very properly named. To
them are due about two thirds of the
bankruptcies that one runs against in this
market.
.... He who marrics pretty face only, is
} like buyer of cheap furEiture-the varnish
that caught the eye will not endure the fire.
side blaze.
Since the recent suspension of many
prominent bankers. it is proposed to change
the name of that class Of individuals to one
more descriptive of their pcculiaritics that
is to-brcakcrs!
IA woman recently died in New York
worth 100000, and yet she lived in n garrei
and received aims in the street.
.... If there is Il heaven on carth II is on
: n soft couch by your own iiresidc, with your
wife on one side, a smiling baby on the
other, clear conscience, n dozen cigars
and knowledge that you are out of debt,
and don't fear the tailor sheriff, or the devil.
.... There is nothing that takes the starch
out of an aristocrat so soon rs to nominate
him to some office that comes before the
people.-He's rs fawning as n dog, and as
polite and neighborly rs french dancing
master. Electious, after all, by the people
do more to tn e the starch out of the rutflcd
shirt gentry than anything else.
-. Mr.. Jones after having spent an even
ing over his bowl, went home u little show
come you So"
He was fortunate enough to find his bet
ter half asleep. He went to bed, and after
Il moments consideration, he thought it
would be policy TO turn over, least his breath
might betray him, when Mrs. Jones opened
her eyes and, in the mildest manner in the
world, said
"JoBes, you needn't turn over; you are
drunk clear through"
IA western editor complaining THAI
he could not sleep one night, summed up
the causes. A wailing babe of seventeen
4 months-a dog howling under the window
"a cat in the alley-a colored serenade at
shanty over the way-a tooth. ache, and
pig trying to get in ut the buck door. Poor
fellow!
PA, has Mr. Jones' cy es got feet!"
Why, my boy!"
Because heard mother say 10 Mrs. Doc.
little, that, at n party the other night, Mr..
Jones eyes folio we'd her all over the room,'
| ....The wit in conversation consists
more in finding it in others, than in show.
ing great deal YOURSELF he who goes from
your conversation pleased with himself and
his own art, is perfectly we'll pleased with
you. Most men had rather please than ad-
mire you, and look up to be instructed, nay,
diverted rather than approved and appaud-
ed; and the most delicate of pleasures is to
please another
ebastopol is like dose of salts
hard 10 take.
....A A certain British barrister wrote three
hands-all different Flo wrote one hand
which he could read and his clerks couldn't;
another which his clerk could read and he
couldn't; and third which neither he, bis
clerk, nor any body else could read.
IAN Irishman being ask which was
| the oldest he or his brother, said