The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-08-23
Professor Julius Cesar Hannibal's Lecture
on Economy,

oh de moon and de frefy, on de bank
OBJ Coney Island, come to dis tex -
II Stitch IN Time SaceS N1ne, and as th
skeeters hummed around me like bee il
an empty barrel, I tort I'd Jis find ou
who it was said it, and wharton he do d.
same.
[ found upon deep reflection and lie
Oh de book, dat it was uttered afort
Singer discubered de sewing machine BY
a poor man named Richard-(who dom
know poor Richard. or seedy Dick as he
was wulgarly called in de days he print
ed de amaDack in ole Boston, nj Bunk
er's Hill? If any oh you am sich big
fools as not to know dat Poor Richard
was Massa Ben Franklin, de ole kite fly
er, I am mt gwane to tell you, for you'd
ort to know'd it long ago, when de free
school am on ebery corner, and teachers
wages am so low
When Massa Franklin sent out dc
chunk oh wisdom, as found in de tex, be
was in de act OBJ mending seat in dc hole
of he trowserloons, which he had torn on
ly de day previously before in skiving @
fence in cotching his kite, when it broke
loose at de time it was unfortunately
struck by lightning He had split dem
only day or two before in trying to
solve some siantifc proverb, which proved
too much for be breecbes, and de truff oh
de tex fash 'pon he mind when he seed
what an almighty rip he corduroys had
sustained by not taken stitch in time,
when it was only tare.
De same ida Cured to Brudder Mar
cy when be was Gubner oh de State of
New York, but not till de hole seat oh
he trowsers war ripped and gone, and he
begun to show his true colors to de world
frue dc bust; den he had dem reseated
and charged dc same to de State-dar-
fore you see, my frens, if Marcy had only
studied de Almanack half as much as
your poorly supported shepard, de State
would be fifty cents better off to-day and
Marcy would not hab shown de wife fed
der, or RAIDER de wife fag-but sich is
life. What am one mans rip am anud-
der's sew up.
But my melting frens, de tex don't ply
to torn trowsers only, as it would at fust
appear to your innocent minds; a stitch in
time consarns ebbryting in life. If de
drunkard had, in de offset oh he career,
only adopted dis tex if he had only took
a stitch in de seam OBJ wretchedness he was
sewing for heself and family, in time, and
took a back stitch wild larger beer and
soger water, how meny ten days sogourn
in de Tombs he would be saved during
the thread oh his existence-but no he
would now and den bite it off wild de teef
of repentance and make a'knot with res
olution only to rip it all out ober and o.
Der again wild de sissers OBJ don't care a
milldam.
If de gambler had taken stitch in
time, before his future and good name
had been ripped from him, what mites OBJ
poker and torture, and days oh loafn and
regret would hab been saved him.
If de young b'hoy, jis mingling on de
(Bowery) stage oh action, would take a
stitch in time in him rum, tobacco and
swearing, how much more his Lize would
tink of him, and if she don't say SO den
she'd belize herself.
IF de politicions would only take two
stitches in deir conscience, dar would be
less rascality in de Post Office, and Treas
ury bilding at Washington.
If de thief would take herrin-bone
stitch backwards in his career, and make
a good soed knot, and stop and break off
his ways, but he won't until he finds de
knot under bis left ear, and den it will
be too late when de shereff hab got him,
and am in de act oh introducing him to
dc debil
If de spendriff don't take stitc in his
expenses, he will soon find herself sewed
up like a puddin-bag without no puddin
in it. De only ting in life dat de tex
don't touch, am lub and my salary; it
don't make bite oh difference how long
or how solid seam you sow in de corse
oh true lab, de stronger de seam OBJ af-
fection am de longer it will last; darfore
dc stouter de needle and bigger de tread
used de better, so long as you don't sow
WlIU OdtS. lC AUOG dlICl huOL III uC
string oh affection till it grows big as a
cable, and then it will stand all de brak-
ers OBJ adversely till one or de odder. slips
it, and am carried to Pottersfeld by de
INSTRUMENTATION, to de lubbers, | say,
lub on, sew away, and let ebbry stitch in
de tread of your existence be link OBJ
true affection; and lastly, don't forgit dat
ebbry good sixpence you put in de sasser,
am a stitch in time for my bord and
washin hill. Anty Clawson seq she s
tired OBJ countin free cent pieces, and la
ments wild your suspected shepard de in
troducshun OBJ dem in dis Hall OBJ stance,
kase ebbry one git lose free cents on,
May de blessings OBJ skeeternet descend
on dis stiDgy koegregashun.
A Toast by a Printer.
At the Franklin Festival, recently held
in lowell. the following sentiment was