The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1855-01-06

The Captain paused for some moments,
vawning
"When did You sec Donsy Smith :" he
asked at length.
Lankv started.
"Oh. Cap'n." he said. IL Amt seen that r-c
young CONAN for month o SUNDAYS"
''Havc YOU quarrellcd:"
mo. sir"
"A rival 2"
Lankv groancd
What horrible sound was that that issued
from your diaphragm, YOU villain ," asked
the Captain.
81 never said nothin'. sur
"Yon sighed"
did !, Cap'n ?'
''lcs, and do You know wha. these 'heigh-
hos mean 2"
"Ileo's. sur ~
These sighs. you rascal ~
NO. sur"
They signify that one is deeply sinittcn bv
some angelic fair one Eh DO YOU under
stand 2"
IL think does sur"
when said You haze rival 8 YOU sich-
ed or rather sroaned. Now ! understand
from that. that Won are far gone"
"oh, Capn."
Tome. now. you have rival :"
81 blicvc | has. said Lanky. pi'eouslv but
beginning to saw his head from northeast to
southwest. according to his habit
lhc captain observed this favoritc m,nr,-
vrc. and began to laugh.
'l"u have rival, ch ?" he said "a sue
ceS>inl one ~
Il dun no. sur
And Lanky groancd ag.;n, and sawed III,
head worse than ever. Tie CAPTAIN twir,cd
his mous:ache with delighted look
Listen to ne now Lankv." he said. burst
IN" into laughter; listen to nv advice. nam
am. Here YOU are Croanins and siching.a and
declaring in Your delirious ra.ois that you
have not seen vour dulcinca for ages :-vou
are plainly in high dudseon, and have aban-
doncd III" field. Now. sir. hear what have
20 say. No retainer of mine shall DISGRACE
me t'' succumhinc 10 woman-lavinc down
his arms because the hl:tio.. ..ownS with guns
instead OF being wrcathcd with flowers
!on~ere. YOU villain. il is personal Sigh.
upon nysclt' and | won't have Won give M il.
this way 20 vonr little Don<v. who is Only co
quoting with vou' DO Won hear. sir -
What kin do, Cap'n : Icant DO moth
in, si-hcl Lanky.
There it is. acain-with rcur eternal
croan;nr' BE a man. you rascal or parbieu
I'll hang vou l'y the Ices to the ratters'' ''
Laukv started at this terrible threat: aud
took Il hrt! >-cye view Of matters. coming tc
the irresistible conclusion that the posture
suggested hv his master would 10. only i,a
di>a-rccahlc bat won!A lave the effect o; al l.
ING new and unie>ired charm 20 tire Ian !
>capr.
"Nh. sur" lie ciacu'atcd
Now listen said tie Captain. "and dc
no; SIT there moaning and grooming. s;chin
and crying. when As a brave nan YOU should
buckle on vour sword: :curatiyclv s:,e,Lina
advance upon the encmv Wha: is that
enemy That. morbru is the first grcs-
ton with every courayeou> and rational sol
der. In the present instance WOMAN
vonfc woman. or as YOU say IN vour barbar
or> dia!rct-'vc cunc CONAN Now. sir.
commence by la,inG down The proposition
:hat every mcnlhrr of the iai, sex NAV ne @
vcrcomr hv wc.llircc.cd and courageous zen
cral~hip. They. of course. dc<lis. a ulcr,
>;..hinG lachrvmo>c lover. with lis heart il
li> hand. and a propensity :or moonligh, and
>;'hloluv :-t,a>ta am throwing away M,
philosophy on Your Thick Lead What ID
you know about >olilo1uies and moonii-l, :"
And the Captain paused.
Il don't know no,hn' bon. Sil'kocs." ol
served I.ankv. but hunts 'coons by moon
li.h'. sometimes"
"lou "nscntimental villain :" said the sol
de-. "arc you not ashamed of Yourself, (,
mix up the divine sentiment with 'coon>-a
you barharou>ly term ito m:n.lc teadr,<>.
with the consideration OF t'ur> -
"lou was CON to give me scmc advice
Cap'n. said Lankv. dcSirouS of avcrting :h
Captains Indignation.
well. vou villain in place OF advice.
give YOU commands command Won to re
sumo offensive operations immediately an
yield not one point"
l.a,lkv looked dubious: the genera,iiy
more plainly di>tastctul to him. since he iii
not very clearly comprehend their meaning
"Oh. Cap'n ! dunno what that means,
$ he said
|. at means this. You villain. When Don>
nr a"y other young lady cndeayors TO tur
:. vou aronn,! her thumb. to make Won 90 ir,:
( as she desires. to wn.ocdlc. and coax and brn
!. Won over-rcsi>t. morb!cau Yield not
5 single point. as said before never weld
h point to one of the fair sex for observe. v0
e pine knot the ambitious desire to rule i
these enchanting creatures, closely rc>cnbl,
: body of water pent in l,y dam. Give
but one little point to issue through. and dtc
r b'c it rushcs on, and carries all before IL
Never Weld to women-it is a bad prcce,lcn
respect them, love them. fight for them -ht
never yield to them, YOU unreasonable yilia;i
r En- drdnt. with brave heart. and wi,iot
thought OF surrcndcr:-a>k no terms: Weld i
nothing refuse to sec brilliant eyes. to li>;c
to coaxing words close your heart obdura,'
: ly, and victory is yours Bah - contnu,
the Captain. here am l advising YOU as ,
your course, when The first advice show vou
: nose to your sweetheart how can she rc
pcct such lover. AS your master, sir,
command YOU to 90 and make yourself: agrc;
c able to your sweetheart, and not d>gracc =:
by giving up the battle in this way"
: Lanky touched the violin absently
r But how kin it be done, Cap'n :" he sa
Il amt Civ up: never intends to Civ u,
9 But oh. Cap'n, when teller feels all sorts
j ways, how can he make himself agreeable
The Captain laug ghed heartily. Lank
e took courage at this, and continued, sawir
n his head
t IL amt gon' to Civ NJ, No amt, IIc
too Young for her, and sides, be amt as goo
!, look in as am"
"Who-your rival :"
0 "YeS sur"
t ''Who is he ."
: "Well Etn'um."
The Captain burst into tremendous laus
What, that little fellow, Lanky = me salt