Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1855-02-28
y XIX Q 4 s y S
BREAD AND BUTTER.

We laughed some at hearing the following
story from the lips Of Il friend, Il few days
since-a friend, by the way, who always has q
good story to tell.
Mr.. Jordan WIS a bachelor, on the shady
side of forty, and consequently was subject 10
the tender mcrcirs Of clearinghouse keepers.
Circumstances--and circumstances have an
old bachelor at their back generally, for he
has no diUiHity to shape his ends--had kept
Mr.. Jordan an inmate Of Mrs. Virgins board
i%ng.housc for a long time, and Mrs. Virgins
was u lady of one idea, namely, economy. Her
experiments in economical philosophy and
philosophical economy were, for the most part,
brought to bear upon the stomdchs of her
boarders, as ~"vitlles" is the principal item of
expense in mediocre clearinghouse. MIR.
Jordan had been startled by som oEthe afore-
said experiments, but he had borne with pa
tience the present and certain evil rather than
fly to others That he knew not Of until one
day, when butter was scarce and high, Mrs.
Virgins hit upon the economical plan OF
spreading with her own economical hands the
butter upon the allowance of bread she doled
out TO her boar~ders--excusing herself for
this interference in their affairs by stating in
the blandest manner, that she assumed that
task ehcerfuIly, to save them the trouble!
Mr.. Jordan came home to tea rather late
upon The first evening Of this new dodge, sat
down in the presence Ofall the other b~oaTders,
and received a slice from Mrs. Virgins, who
had gone through the cers mony of buttering
il before his eyes. Mr.. Jordan eyed the breaC
inquisitiycly, gnd began to turn it from sid,
to side and scrutinize it closely through hi
spectacics.
What is the matter with your bread anG
butler?' demanded Mrs. Virgins.
'Nothing--nothing nothing replied MI
JORDAN, still turning the piece over, and per
sisting in his scrutiny,
'Im positive, Mr.. Jordan, that you d
see something. Now | want said Mrs
Virgins, her face becoming flushed wit
excitement, Il want my boardcrs to tel
me right out when their vittles doesn't sui
Now, Mr.. Jordan, what is it p
Mr.. Jordan laid Town the slice upon h
plate, raised his spectacles to his forchea,
aud replied with great elaboration
Mrs. Virgins, there's nothing the ma
ter with the bread, l assure you. Blu
Mrs. Wiggins,' and here Mr.. Jordan gla
ced mischievously down the vista of attic
tive faces, | have lived in this world eigt
aud.forty years, aud find myself this ev
ming, such a simplcton, that l can't tt
IOI my llC NhlSh SlDE Oe MI BREAD
BUTTERED !
BARE ARMs.-Tho question has be
asked why it is considered impolite for &C
tlomen to 60 into the presence of ladies
their shirt-sleeves, whilst it is consider
in every way correct for the ladies the
selves to appear before gentlemen With
any sleeves at all
y MISERABLE MIsTAKE.-Our YOU
ladies do not insist on a high standing g
tleman, hence a variety of private II
cries and public vices. A correct yor
man is the butt of society, and there
wise men who contend that the word is
ways right.
A chap out west invited to take a b.
at a game of porker-a fashionable q
with gamblers on the M~ississippi--but
refused, saying No thank'ee, l pla
poker all one summer, and l had to "
nankeeu pants all tho next winter.
have never had any taste for that am
ment since.
TRUE.-If you want to gain q WON
affections don't appeal to her head but
feelings. One squeeze of the hand
press of the lip is worth more than all
speeches you can make from 6 to /
Calico is an institution of touch, and
logic. Order a sample and Judge.