The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1855-02-21
Varieties.

'ff'tJ o"1 that ~ was very ullnCult.
Dlfhcnl, answered the learned audi.
Tor, ! wish il had been impossible 7
Let us lay no temptation 10 The path
OF the young as the frog said when be
popped lis head under water OIL seeing
. boy pick up stone
isWill you have two buffaloes q in.
qulrcd a stable keeper Of foreigner,
who was going to try his FIRST sleigh ride.
Good gracious no. was the reply,
I want horse
Country stores mix things rather
queerly. In Iowa, there is a sign on
village grocery" Harm Baths and
Picked Herring"
A minister was walking out one day
and passed two little boys, one Of whom
made a bow AS lie turned his back he I
heard the following conversation -
Why John, didn't you know that was
rarson Mp Yes, of course did.
Vol, why did you not make bow to
him. Why, NY mother don't belong
to his church.
a lawyer wrote Rascal in tho hat Of
brother lawyer, who, on discovering it.
entered complaint in open court against
the trcspasser, who he said had not only
taken his bat, but had written his own
name in it.
A jury Of twelve wise men returned
verdict Of not guilty in a case respect.
ing female prisoner. but accompanied
it with hope that she would never be
guilty of like offence again
The editor Of the Rutland Herald,
just married, says: A pair of sweet lips,
pink waist ribbon, swelling breast,
aid pressure Of two delicate hands.
will as much unbinge a man as three
levers, tho measles large sized whoop.I
ing congh, pair of lockjaws, several hy
drophobias, and the DOCTORS bill.n
YoUr PAPER Cosrs TOO Mrcnm A
Columbus (Ga. paper received the follow.
ing communication from an individual
residing in the UPPER part of the State -
"a trtweakly male is running to our
post Office, and hearing of mighty fuss
in France or Crimear, ! want you to send
me some papers with the last accounts
or give me the particulars bv letter.
Your paper costs too much, or would
subscribe"
., "My deor friend, that man has been
9talkinsAbout you so again Why. he
rallied about you for an hour !" And
you heard it all, did you o. Yes" "Well
after this, just bear in mind that it.
takes two to make slander-onc to
talk, and another to listen to it."
1t is chiefly young ladies of narrow
understanding who wear shoes too small
for them
How extraordinary ii is that the Gar
should be in want Of money, after all the
checks he has received.
You say, Mr.. Jaycocks, that you
saw the plaintiff leave tho house was it
iu hnste ?"
YES, sir
DO you know villa. caused that
haste ?"
am not quite certain, but | think
1t was MIR Stubbs's boots, the gentleman
lie boards with"
That will do, Mr. JaycockS Crier
call the next witness
a private Waterman was found asleep
in Sacramento. when some of the fast
hoys attached twelve dozen assorted
Chinese fre-crackcr- to him by a fish.
hook, and touched them off Awaking
suddenly he thought the world was com.
ing to an end, and dashed maily for the
river--likc Cas,ius, he plunged in.
A French paper thus traces the
sensations of reader Of ADVERTISE
Inents: The first Understandable
don't see it. The second insertion
lie secs it, but don't read it. The
third inserlion--IIe reads it. The
fourth insert'on-lIe looks at the price.
The fifth inserlion-lle speaks of it to
his wife. The sixth Insertion She is
willing to buy. The scventh-IIe lur.
chases.
1t has been apply said that false
friend is like a shadow on dial APPS
pearing in the clear weather, and VAL
ishing as soon as it is cloudy.
When man dies, people generally
inquire, what property has he left be,
hind him " The angels will ask, what
good deeds has he sent before him =
Mrs. Grumpy, in looking over the
advertisements the other day, saw ono
headed "Radical Cures" "Well,"
said she, 81 am glad if they have got
away to cure them radicals, for they've
been turning the world upside down
ever since | was GAL"
A correspondent asks q guess
tion which comes home to every one
who loves sassengers." Here it is:
SIR. Ettytr: That what witch to
az you is wheather strichnine wot the
poIeece gives to dogs, won't pizen the
heumane being after sassengers has
been fried. Please to put in the paper
how this is, for if fried strichnine is
pizen, I go again sassengers. Yours
till pizened."
Sound and sufficient reason falls, af.
ter all, to the share Of but few men,
and those few men exert their inAu-
ence in silence.
lie that is proud Of the rustling of
lis silks, Ike mailman, laughs at the