The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1855-05-10
PUNCH, DIoGENEs, AND PUNcHINELLo.

The large picture from Punch is capital. Mr..
Layard is represented as digging out the Brit
ish Bull from heap of coronets, red tape, bri
berry, and corruption. John Bull, in round hat
and top boots, is furnished with the Assyrian
wings and other Filings" so familiar in Lay
ards book about Nineveh.
In Diogenes we see John Bull looking at
show got up regardless of expense" Fifty
Thousand moving figures are announced. He
gazes through the hole, and exclaims-
Eager Spectator. "But the figures don't
novel"
Snowman. ooh, it's all the same there's
only something wrong in the machinery"
Surly Sentiments-bya Professed Old G,un-
bter.-No woman drinks beer of her own accord :;
she is always "ordered to drink it
Experience is pocket compass that a fool
never thinks of consulting until he has lost his
way.
An ugly baby is an impossibility.
When man has the headache, and says ats
the salmon" you may safely conclude he has
been drinking like fish,"
The moment friendship becomes a tax, it is
singular, at every fresh call it makes, how very
few persons it finds at home!
Very Vide of the Nark.-"M Modern instan-
ces have strong tendency to the refutation of
the wise saws" of antiquity 1t was an old
saying, that "every bullet has its billet" On
the truth of the adage grave doubt has been
thrown by the special correspondent of the
Morning Post in the Crimea. That gallant Off
Ger and writer represents British battery as
hring at the distance of one thousand seven
hundred yards" against steamer which had
, for a long time ANNOYED the Inkermann at
tack with its shot and she'll" He adds "Sixty
rounds were fired by the artillery, but only six
struck the vessel. The Russians returned our
fire with two hundred shots from their battery,
without doing us the slightest injury" What
an awful waste of powder and shot! But if
every ball had told wouldthe waste, on the whole,
have been greater or less? Meanwhile, those
who complain of the paucity of successful dra-
matte pieces should observe how very few hits
have been made in the theatre of war.
Catch for the Viennese Congress.-(To be
sung by persons supposed to represent Eng
land France, and Austria.
When shall we three meet again?
For Progress Falsehood. Truth, or Gnin?
When these monarchs' wars done!
When the peoples rights are won?
lStsaDdeanay, toiA paEouliulie gshtre1
E 7hat viii be tchen dead dogs run!
IA Dancel
Gentlemen, Make your Game PA hint
to Lord John. THE Plenipotentiaries who are
talking away at Vienna are just a pdrtie cd1ree.
We think it would be much better for them to
finish the conference at once by having rub
Der of whist. Russia might take Austria as a
partner, land it would not be the first time they
have played into each others hands, and so
play it out against England and France. Which
ever side scores the "four points first, wins the
game.
Literary hatelligence.-An extract from an
Austrian paper says: "Mount Olympus smokes
like Volcano" We hear that directly this be-
came known in London, the author of Proven
bal Philosophy" Immediately quilted home
with half-a-dozen empty bottles and corks to
match.
a OOatrddiction.-If Truth is to be found in
the bottle, how can she also live at the bottom
of well2 For ourselves, we should say that
there is something fundamentally wrong in
this.
Direct from the Seat Of War-The last des
patches of Lord Raglan were nearly sent back
from the Horse Guards to the custom house.
for some one had waggishly inscribed on them
" A Boa Of Dates"
A Melancholy TTuth.-There is no doubt
that when our ships are ploughing the main,
they must meet with some very narrowing
scenes.
Not so Bad as they are Pdiated.-Notwith-
standing our dislike to the Russians, we do not
see they are such a bad set, after all for, as
they have not yet gained single battle over the
Allies, they can't be so very repulsive.
Lent an the Crimca.-We don't know whether
on ~ ho1 boo
Shrove Tuesday; but the probability is, that, in
order to take Sebastopol, they have all been
provided with materials for batter.
The Militia an Bed.-Two militia officers,
bileted at public house, refused to sleep in a
double-bedded room. These warriors evidently
have no thoughts of active service; otherwise,
they should make up their minds to the chance
of sleeping, not in double beds, but in single
hundreds. May we be so coarse as to suggest
the bed of glory? A bed none of the softest
and tucked up with spade.
French soithom Master. This is prom
ised to Paris on the 10th instant
:. The weather in the Crimea must have been
very unpleasant for undressed military officers.
We often receive report that there il moth
ing new before Sebastopol," and, / should say,
a correct one, judging from the ragged state we
hear that the soldiers are in.
Why are green peas like SebastopolP Be-
cause they must be shelled before taken.
An Inactive Commandsr-Our army has
been so long trying to march into Sebastopo,
that one would almost imagine it had come to
stand-still, under the influence of a lame COM
mander in the shape of " General Halt"