Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1855-04-04
mit, Sentiment, ST.

HEADISs AN AucrIosEEn-It is well known
to all who are in the habit of attending auction
sales, that when the auctioneer is trying TO get
bids from dull crowd, be will sometimes say
The first man that opens his mouth TO bid shall
have the goods" This he does with the intention
of creeping out of the bargain if the bid should
be too insignificant As upon receiving bid OF
three cents, he replies, 'Oh. you amt a man,
you re boy;" or, Your mouth open al
ready An auctioneer headed on this at Pitts
burgh, not long since, follows
Auctioneer-The first man bids on this
shall have it.
Countryman bids three cents, dat is my knife
Auctioneer-Your knife for three cents Are
yon the first man2
Countryman-Yaw, Mann dat ish my name.
Auctioneer ACKNOWLEDGMENT are
not the first man, l thought Adam was the first.
Yaw, dat ISL il, Adam dat ish
my name too, Adam Mann. Now you gil me
my knife, l gf you three cents.
The knife was handed over and the sale closed
for that evening.
IpLERs-THEIR YIsIrs-The idle levy very
heavy tax upon the Industrious, when, by frivolous
visitations they rob them of their time. Such
persons beg their daily happiness from door 10 door,
as beggars their daily bread, and like item some
times meet with rebuff a mere gossip ught not
TO wonder if we are tired Of him. seeing that
indebted for me honor of his visit simply and sole
ly to the circumstance Of his being very tired OF
himself
TREAsuaKs-Tne richest endowments of the
nj .,,Ia
dence is an universal virtue which enters into the
composition of all the rest; and where she is not
fortitude loses its name and nature
SETTLED AT LAsT.-The question OF tobacco
smoking having come before the Baptist church
es at Hamburg, Germany, it was unanimously re-
solved that this assembly-declare the of tobac
co TO be one Of the things specified by the apostles
(Iomans XIV as belonging to christian liberty
"A genius, out west was invited TO take
game OF poker, but he refused. saying: No,
,hanAee. played poker all one summer, and had
TO wear nanllecn pants al the next winter.
have had no taste for that amusement since"
-a Mother, send for doctorl' screamed out
young scapegrace. Why, my son 2" said the
alarmed parent Cause that man in the parlor
is going TO die, He said he would if sister Jane
wouldn't marry him and Jane said she wouldt!'
An Irishman few days since, bought fam
lily Bible, and on taking it home, made his first
record as follows &" Patric Don, born Sept. 50,
1916, aged five years"
A young lady explained to a printer, the
other day, the distinction between printing and
publishing, and at the conclusion of her remarks,
by way of illustration, said =" You may print a
kiss on my cheek, bat you must not publish it"
To undertake to reason girl out of love is as
absurd it would be to attempt TO extingulsh
Vesuvius with two ounce syringe. The only
thing that will break love fit is hard work and
boiled pork
Forgiveness is the most refined and generous
Cowards have done good and kind actions but
coward never fergave-it is not in his nature.
Girls, don't accept the hand OF anybody who
tells you that he is going to marry and settle.
Make him settle first, and marry afterwards.
Our principles are the springs of our actions
and our actions are springs of our happiness or
misery.
We cannot live better than in striving to be-
come better, nor more agreeaby than in having a
clear conscience
Why is bullock very obedient animal
Because he will lie down if you are him.
II am afraid you VIII come to want, said an
old lady to her daughter.
Il have come TO want already, was the reply
~ want a husband
Men often blush TO hear what they were not
ashamed to act.
True prayer is not human, but celestial gift;
the Iut of the holy spirit in US and with us.