Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1855-04-07
NmnlgPnuns Naragrapbs.

WllAl5fauaa 1aAlAYlApg5,
The following was picked up inside the bar a
the Court House in Springfield, Mass, few days ago,
challenges admiration equally for its w.t. poetca per
lection, its philosophy and its orthography:
Now arter settn here weeks
This koart is goin' to ajourn
And any one hoe jess seeks
| May cum next Kourt 4 take his turn
A negro preacher referring to the Judgment
day. in his Sermon said Breddern and sisters dat day
de Lord shall divide de sheep frum gotes an bress
Lord, We knows who wears de wool"
" You say, Mrs. Smith, that you have lived witt
the defendant for eight yearsoes the Court understand
from that that you are married to him.? In course
Yes, your Honor, three on 'em-two gals and boy.
Verdict for the plaintiff. Call the next
Specie is so scarce in Schenectady, that maj
was arresed suspicion of being bank robber because
he had three shilings and sixpence in his pocket.
A young gentleman OF lively turn sent hi
slow friend ornithologist for yellow hammer drive
| nail.
| Snobs says there is no danger of hard time!
among the shoeakers because every Shoe is s0 before
can be got ready for the market.
| Mr.. Jenkins is about to get married. He saws
that to live singleis only singular but agn
law, gospel, commonsense, and, and-un generally. Jen
kins is about right.
A person being asked what was meant by the
realities Of life? answered Real estate, real money anG
"a real good dinner" That person was as heaG
and heels He said he was rather chew auc
of No. Fives than es-chew Spruasm. Perfectly right
| as the world wags.
| A Young man now -a-davs has to be exceedingly
circumspect marrying nine causes out of te he
will very likely get fourth esh the balance coffee
cotton, whalebone and corset-boards.
SCANDAL EXPANSIVE.
| The flying rumors gatherd as they rol'd
Scarce any tale sooner heard than told;
| And all who told it added something new,
| And all who heard it, made enlargement, too
| On every ear it spread-on every tongue it grew!
| An lrlshInan, on being told to grease the wagon,
| returned in about hour afterwards and sad-"Tve
grazd every part the wagon inside and out yer honor
but by the blue hair O. Moses wig can't get at the sticks
| the wheels hang on, sure"
| A toast for the LADIES' Old bachelors may
they lie on bed of needles-st alone wooden stool
alone wooden trencher-minus the bosom shirt
collar buttons all winter andbe their kilchenmaid "
| Schocking!
Crank" said an affectionate lady the other
day to promising Young American, if you don't stop
smoking and reading much will get so after while
that won't care anything at all about aco "other
replied hopeful eisurely removing very long cigar and
turning another leaf Of Barnum, "rve got so now.'
FoND WIFE.-"And here, my dear, is the pledge
Husbamd-" Hem Let me see, that was four years
ago Seems to Pledge is rather small Of his age!"
| somewhat doubtful grass case.
NOW GUESS IT.
"Why's like marriage?" asked the maid,
Whose love to is pliphted;
Iblusbd, of course, and hung my head,
| While she seemd quite delighted.
| "Come, answer me-" continued she,
81 And don't be long about it,
.. You stupid ninny, don't you
We can't be 1cea without it !"
A Paul Pry observed on the door of house the
of two physicians and remarked that it put him in
mind of double barreed gum for missed the other
was sure to kill.
A person who undertakes to raise himself by
scandaizing Others might well sit down on wheebar
row, and try to wheel himself.
debating society away down East is discussing
the following question =" If man builds eorn-crb, does
that give him right to crib corns"
An old bachelor, who edits paper somewhere
in the western country, put melancholy Accidents" as
head for marriages in his paper
Bridget, where's the tea-kettle ?" "Please
marin, Mr. 0Ne, the boarder, is washing his feet in
it." The last seen of Mr. o'Ne, he going down the
front stoop, about six inches in advance empty coal
scutte.
Scandal, like kite, to fly well, depends very
much on the length of the tale it has to carry.
The young lady who took the eye of everybody,
has been arrested for stealing.
! When is man over head and ears in debt?
Always until his hat paid when he negects pay
the printer who feeds him intellectually The latter is the
most scandaious debt because of its black ngratude!
Miss Morehead, the giantees, at vanuchis Mu-
ness long drawn OUT
Sir, you shall hear from me !" said fellow with
laundering voice and chimney black frown, to editor
who had published something he construed too hard
upon his party you shall hear from me Z! and he shook
his finger significantly That's rght-dew" said Jona-
than, bowling politely write occasionally and let us know
how you are getting along"
The IRON DUKE'R BED.-Among the curiosities
at Apsey House, residence Of the Duke Of Wellington is
truckle-bed on which he slept Why is it
quired friend there is not to turn in it." "Turn
in cried his grace when man begins to turn in
his bed, it is time to turn out"
WoULDN'T SHAVE CoLoRED Folks" s."-Freder-
ck Douglas delivered one Of Ills lectures week in Bdde
ford Me-, and the morning afterwards stepped into the
barber's shopo Mr. Bunker, an European with slight
Ethiopian alloy in his blood who absolutely to shave
him. as it against the rules Of the establishment to shave
colored gentlemen Fred left in very wrathfu mood.
BEARDED BALL AT CH1ckGo.-A grand ball and
supper was lately given at Chicago Ill., which attended
by about two hundred ladies and gentlemen The first
guar toast was as follows ManFul grown full bearded
natures great masterwok nobl. barefacsd too
perfect to be botched by the bungng Of barbem Speeches
were made by various gentlemen euogc Of boards and
denunciary Of shaving.
JEsrs UPON SeRIPrURE.-It is very common