The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1855-12-08
4 Short Patent Sermon.
\ ShOIt Patent ScIinOh.
ny DOW, an.
On Lore--its Misehitts and is Isanescencc.


ny DOW, JR.
On Lore--its hischitts and is Ltanescencc
Trxr-Loye is Witty,
Love i pretty,
Love is charming while its now,
Hut It grows old
Aud WAKES cold,
And fades away like the morning dew.
Ny HEARERS There is no mistake about
| love being pretty, coaxlng, and fascinating
| for all this, it is awfuly danger Gus stuff to
NEEDLE with. No one ought ever to ap'
proach it, unless provided with Il box oI
matrimonial pills for it eXhalcs such deli
cious poison that body isn't aware Of dan
| ger till the disease has reached its climax
and then the only way to eradicate it will be
to take warm bath at the altar of llymcn,
and for ever afterwards keep slipping of the
iced water of matrimony--or else take an
| injection of pistol powder at once, and be
certain of n cure Oh my heart sinks
clear into my trousers pocket when ! think
Of all the mischief that chief Love has stir
red up in this anoracious world Go ask
those shattered wrecks OF humanity who
are now swarming in our lunatic asylums
what it was that fired the city Of their sen
ses-drove Reason from its throne, and
spread anarchy over the vast empire of the
mnd-and they might answer truly: Love,
the tyrmt Love, Bcho'd the miserable sot
suffering self martyrdom, with the limpid
fire Of damnation starting through his car
buncle nose! Ask him why he, in the
prime of life, is about to throw himself upon
the funeral pyrc Of his hopes, and appear
fuddlcd at the bar of Judgment, And he
will say it is all for Love Go read upon the
stones of yonder churchyard how many OF
Loves victims have been consigned to the
dark chambers of death, and have taken the
worms Of the clod as their bosom compa-
mons? Behold lovers are weeping upon
the very turf beneath which lovers are
sleeping. gricve for the slccpors, and q, ,
my friends, trembc for the wcepcrs -
They are made Of soft matcrial-kisScs,
tears, saw.dust and solt-soap heaven
only knows how soon they, too, may dis
solve and amalgamatc with their original
clay.
My friends, mcthipks can see, through
the spcctaclcs Of Imagination, fOrorn spc-
cimen Of dccayed feminine wandering over
the sea-shore cliffs at midnight She cuts a
pretty figure, think, with her long hair
streaming in the wind, ta,tcred irock, cat
owl eyes, and nothing but bare-lcgs on her
feet. Now she sings IL wild ditty to the
moon, and anon calls irantically on one who
cannot hear, and doubt whether he would
if he could. Poor thing, Kate IS crazcd
She let her tender passion run away with
her senses, shoes and stockings, shimmy
and all, and now see what she is Girls
do you hear that Bewarc-bcware But
TO return. Love, like the boys candy, is
too good to last long. Soon after marriage
it is apt to grow cold, and fade away from
the iullblOwn blossoms Of the heart, as
fades the morning dew from the damask CO.
rOlla, or the rose but before the affections
are bound in the nuptlal wreath, there Is no
danger Of Love dying natural death. On
the contrary, he becomes more obstinate in
his attacks, and will hang on like an eel TO a
dead pOssum. advise you, my young
congregation, to beware Of nnVn tnris U,',.
sic NJ di tender lurking about your vitals
for they are sure to call that little rascal Gu
pid in quest Of prey aud when hc comes
your breasts are made pin cushions Of in LEES
than no time He shoots his arrow with un.
erring aim and he flies, and mocks at the
agonies Of his wounded victims. lie is the
mischief-maklne child Of Venus, that artiul
daughter OF Jove, who used to sport her
golden chariot, drawn by sparrows, over
the ileecy clouds Of hcayen-whose railroad
track down to Olympus consisted OF the
rainbow. She was the mother of all iiirts,
and created more trouble in the courts Of
Love than ever Luciicr kicked up in the
temple Of righteousness. But she is dead
now, and her son Cupid rcigneth in her
stead.
Ny dear young frends-you must con-
trive to love moderately if you wish to have
it last long, and not grow cold with the
wanc of the honey moon just as Mrs, Dow
and did when she was pretty Miss Betsy
Wheeler. We don't squander all our alice
tons amid the foolish extravaganza Of court
ship, but let of a little at a time, and they
consequently lasted the longer. Like the
cattle that masticatc their food second
time, SO we, till the day that death brought
in bill of divorce in her favor, could sit
beneath the bowers Of connubial happiness,
and chew the cud Of our first love over and
over again. Why didn't you do likewise,
and thus insure many days OF comfort and
happiness, rather than dry up the fountain
Of future attachment by indulging for
short time in scorching eXtacy. Moderation
should always be your guide in affairs Of
loyc--no matter whether that love be scxu.
al, iraternal, alcoholical or spiritual. BY
drinking z too deep from the cup, you become
intoxicated, and are soon compelled to swal
low the bitter dregs of woe and despair. 1t
is a melancholy truth that | have even
known persons 10 become SO inebriatcd with
the love Of religion, that their reason has
left them in disgust, and songht an asylum
in the desert regions nowhere; but the love
Of morality, virtue and honesty is subject to
no such cXcesScs, and the stronger your al-
iectIon for them is, the wiser and happier
YOU must bc-l don't care who says to the
contrary; but in your love for the sexes,
plum padding and spurious holiness, be
careiul-bc moderate . and you may make it
hold out till you are borne to that place
where love never fades away or even waXeth
Did. So mote it be.