Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1855-06-21
TROUBLES OF A DIVINE.

TROU bLES Ut "A INV lNE.
The citizens of Greensburg, Pa,
must be a "hard-crowd," if the
stories told of them by their own
papers may be relied on as correct.
The Democrat givs the following as
the latest specimen of their unright-
eous, ungodly and wicked doings:
For the past few days the Rev.
Alexander Stevenson, D. D., retail
apple merchant, tailor, shoemaker,
boot blacker, clothes scourer, and
Jack-of all-trades generally, has been
enlightening the citizens of our
goodIy town on the ways Of the
Lord, without money and without
price, for, assuredly tie labors of
three days have brought but few
dimes to Alexander's pocket. On
Saturday he delivered two eloquent
sermons, to bring mankind to a
knowledge of their unrighteousness;
yet at the very time when AleXan-
der was denouncing the wicked
ways Of the world, some outlaw, in
stigated by the Devil, and not having
the fear Of the Lord before his eyes,
was busily engaged in pinning TO the
tail ofhi long black gown a bunch
Of fre-crackers, and setting fire
there to. These things, however,
do not trouble the Reverend gentle
men overly much, for he stood fire
remarkably well. OF course, a.
temporary suspension Of the sermon,
and disarrangcmcnt of ideas ne
cessarily followed, but, in a little
while, all things went on as smoothly
as before. On Monday night, dur
ing his sermon, an eXtinguisher in
the shape Of a fur barrel in an in
vcr'cd position, was suddenly
thrown over the Doctors head.
Disguised with the wichedncss Of
mankind generally, and that of the
citizens of Greensburgh in particular
he ceased his speaking and took the
first train westward on Tuesday
moning."
The doctor, before leaving, issued
a proclamation, to his prosecutors,
not quite as eloquent perhaps as
Pau's epistle to the Ephesians, but
far more iauSnaD,e and amusing.
Following is an extract from the
document: My hat is worn out and
nos longer presents impeachment to
rain; mine elbows 90 grinning thro'
my Goat sleeves; my pantaloons are
aged myg gown is rent and torn by
wicked bbys; the doors Of the prison
house Nave opened TO receive me;
hunger and thirst are daily compan-
ions; Affections great and troubIous
D. at times come upon me; inventions
Of ungodly men, in the shape OF tor
pedoes and e-crackers, beset me
on all sides, and the Devil gocth
about like a roaring lion, stuffed with
straw, seeking whom he may devour,
yet still fight | the good fight. |
lean upon my staff, and weary not in
the good work. | stand, like patti
cncc, on monument, smiling al
grief but patience endurcth not for
ever, and forbearance, at times
ceases to be a virtue. without
money and without price, | preach
peace on earth, and good will tc
men, but this brings neither food
nor raiment. I want both. In the
language of Alexander the Great to
Napoleon Bonaparte, | eXclaim,
'Help me, Cassius, or sink
With me are two alternatives-the
same as presented in the epistle o.
Paul to the IIelvctians, when he said
Root hog, or die l have rooted.
vet am 1 no richer. But a little
while longer will strive with you;
to-day | am here, tomorrow 1 &C
hence; to-day the dust gathers upon
my shoes in This great city, and to-
morrow shake it off in the village
of Jacktown! Sow, that We may reap
Make hay while the sun shines!
Give, that yo may received and give
now, for | will not always be with
you. Once again will come to
you, and be then ready with youl
contributions"
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