The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-03-21


academy up town, compromising somewhat
I the mistress OF the establishment. Several d
II the pupils mothers had dropped IN, and re-
/ NAMED TO take dish of tea, and being shor1
Of milk, an Irish girl was sent to nelghbor'
II ing grocery to get some. The tea was hand
N ed round, and some surprise was felt that the
\ milk did not color it; but nothing was SAID
II The peculiar flavor, too, was remarked, but nc
one liked to speak; at length one lady ventur-
II ed hint, and the EXPLANATIONS became gen
II eral. The mistress Of the academy colored
II very deeply, but Of course could not account
H for it, and summoned the girl.
Bridget" said the lady, "What was that
\ you obtained at the grocery
"Shure, il was milk, ma'am," the girl re-
| piled.
Milk" exclaimed the lady; "why smell lt!'
! handing her the Jug at the same time !.
eIt's gin-it is, or my nose desaves me,
said the girl, sbut shure it's milk | asked for,
| and don't / go there for the same kind OF milk
for you, ma'am"'
Il It's needless to say that the indignant pa
rents quilted the house, after very formal
ileaye taking, and that several young ladies
jwere hastily summoned home.
II The idle man is an annoyance-a nuisance.
HE is Of no benefit to any body. He is an in
Itruder in the busy thoroughfare of every day
life He stands in our path, and we push him
asidei He is of no advantage
| 10 any body. He annoys busy men, He makes
Them unhappy He is unit in society. He
may have an income to support him in idleness
| pr he may sponge on his good natured friends.
But in either case be is despised. Young men
10 something in this busting and wide awake
world! Move about for the benefit of man
kind, if not for yourself Do not be idle, God S
/ law is, that by the sweat of the brow we shall
earn our bread. That law is a good one
minutes are too precious to be squandered
| thoughtlessly. Every man and every woman,
however exalted or humble, can do good in
This short life if so inclined; therefore do not
be idle.
The latest style of coats is really beautiful
With the waist of the garment between his
shoulders, and the skirts sweeping the flag
girg stones, the happy possessor makes a beau
tiful exhibition. It is unfortunate, however,
FIR the novelty Of the style, that nearly every
Irish gentleman who comes to this country,
has coat of the same fashion which was
made twenty years ago! @5
One of the smart city urchins hearing his
father read an article in the paper in relation
to a new invention of bricks of glass, exclaim-
ed-..Glass bricks! / know what them isl
"What are they9'' inquired the family. ''Tumb |
Icrs Of liquor!' almost shouted the juvenile.
A young lady recently returned from
boarding school, being asked at the table if
she would take some more cabbage, replied:
aBy no means, madam astronomical safety |
admonishes me that have arrived at the ultl-
mate of culinary deglutnation consistent with
the code of Esculapius Oh, scissors.
AS no man can tell where shoe pincheth
better than he that wears it, SO no man can
tell woman's disposition better than he who
hath welded her +
1t is an excellent rule to be observed in all
disputes, that men should give soft words, and
hard arguments; that they should not strive SO
much to vex as to convince each other.
Bridget! Bridget! why don't you bring up
he ice lemonade? said Mrs. S. on the fourth ,,
if July from the top of the kitchen stairs
Why marin, said Bridget, wiping the sweat {
rom her red face with her checked apron, as
he put her head round the stair case partition, ,
Why, marin, you see, the ice L put into the
is SO hard that it hasn't melted yet,
nalm, though its stirring it over the fire I've
,een for the fifteen minutes or more.
Two disputants discussed as follows in our
learing day or two since:
Il tell you God is everywhere"
"Aint-neither.
Il know better; my mother SAYS 500
Don't care if she does He amt in that
Fire," pointing up to the telegraph 'tcos that
ntholler.''
This rather staggered his little reverence for
moment, but ere minute had elapsed tri-
lmphant smile lit up his face as he responded:
''Well, DOM care. He is all around it,"
How many skepdc Of larger growth might
nut of the mouth of that sucking" learn
wisdom? ."
We have heard better one. A mother
md her little boy were discussing this subject:
Mother-God is every where, my son, is he
lot?
Boy believe SO.
Mother-Is he in this room?
Boy-Yes mother.
Mother-Is he in that table, and chair and
bookcase?
Bpy-Yes, mother.
Mother-Is he in your pocket?
Bay-No mother.
Mother-Why note
Boy amt got no pocket.
The doctrine of compensation" is beaut
ally ezemplifed atthose boarding house break
asst tables, where the weakness Of the coffee is
ways in exact proportion to the strength of
lie butter.
He is happy that finds a true friend in ex
remity, but lie is much more SO, who fndeth
ot extremity whereby to try his friend.
Real fidelity is very rare, but it exists in the
leart. They only deny its worth and power
Who never loved a friend or labored to make
riend happy.
oneof the old diyines said, che that sleeps
. the place of worship is no better for the
lne than corpse, at whose funeral the min
steris preaching" Another of that worthy
paternity remarks, 'sthat sleepers in religious
are public nuisances, and Dug ht to
e driven from the place they SO much dis
race"
E. j. HART IL Co.
Having removed to their commodious Stores,
Nos III ANN 70 ,r