Weekly Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1853-1861, 1855-08-30
Platform of the Artesians.

Although The Artesians have been hitherto a
7 rf-vus-oy fccitteffr round
copy of their platform Of resolutions, which is
too interesting" for US to refrain from publish
ing. Where We found this document, or what
names were signed to- it. We do not intend to
inform the public at present, but meanwhile
4 We invite the attention of our readers 10 the
I broad nationality of this platform. and the true
nature of the principles, for which they have
/ beens so widely and so ignorantly illuminated:
PREAMBLE, Whereas the Artesian party of the
/ State of Louisiana comprises all the true and
thOroughgoIng bores in the State; and, Whereas,
/ this party has been for some time working as a
secret organization, in order to acquire suifici-
ent siren 9Th TO enable them TO come frankly
and boldly before the world and avow the great
principles upon which their order is founded
/ and the purpose to which it aims, and whereas
/ the party has now acquired the requisite num-
bers and influence, including in its ranks clear
majority of all who make politics special trade
/ Therefore, be il
Resoired That we recognize the existence OF
almighty deep hole in Canal street, which,
being the most successful piece of boring in the
country. we are proud to hail rs the source of
our name and the origin OF our emblems
ReSoi1ed, That boring is one of the sublimer
arts that dignity human nature and adorn civil
lied life, worthy the careful study and assidu-
Gus practice of all who desire to promote their
own welfare at the expense of others.
Resolced. That it is BETTING borcs to rule
this mighty country to the exclusion of all our
opponents, and that inasmuch as all other par
ties are dead, exploded and in ruins, We. shall
continue to oppose them with an unflinching
firmneSs and an unwavering patriotism.
ReS0lUed, That it is unbecoming member Of
this Order to have any business of his own 10
attend TO, as long as he can find opportunities
to interest himself with the concerns of others.
Resoiced, That we regard the practice of bor-
rowing rs a far more honorable means of sup
port than earning money by any of the customs
recognized among our opponents, as business OF
trade
Resolued, That Being Disguised with the wild
hunt after iuleps and cocktails, and believing
that drinks should seek the man and not the
man the drinks, we will henceforth spunge OF
none who belong to- the Artesian order, but will
spare no efforts to desolate our opponents with
our unquestOnabe thirst
Rosoired, That we will discourage the habits
of wearing coats without buttons-a trick re-
sorted to by the opposition to avoid being hello
in the streets.
ResolUed, That prying COMMITTEES should be al
once established in every neighbOrhood to visit
every house. and ascertain as much as possible
of their private affairs and family secrets (which
it shall be the duty OF the said committee to lay
before the most worthy Anger of their respec-
tive cOnclaves.
Resolred, That we shall cultivate and develop
n sentiment of profoundly intense and intensely
profound Artesian feeling; of passionate attach
ment TO boring As an art; of admiration for those
who precipitated the formation of our order; ol
veneTation for the bOres who endured the jeeTs
and SCOTS of the multitude before the protection
of the Order was thrown around them
Resolued Eighty, that we will resist the az
gressive policy and corruptye tendency of dun
ming in our country, by the advancement to all
stations of none who fritter away money To pay
their debts, and that we will tolerate none in OF
fee who are not bores by taste, education and
training; thus realizing the maxim that bores on
ly shall rule Artesia.
RESOLVED, That the ban of secresy be entirely
removed and that the members of the order be
allowed TO communicates everything pertaining
TO it, except the names of its members, the pla-
ces OF meeting the bylaws, rules, regulations
grips. signs, winks, mods, pushes, pass words.
rallying cry; distress, warning cry, and except
the platform. principles and purposes of the Or
der and all that is connected with 1t, either rs
public or private organization.
ReSOlUed, That 1t Is the duty of all good Ar
tesians TO unite in the good work of making our
party as great as possible; but that individual
industry in the persuit OF our exalted art should
by no means flag as long as men are TO he found
who value their time, cherish their respectable
ity or presume to attend to their own business.
Resolred, That it shall bc the duty of All
State conclaves to adopt, stand upon, swallow
and endorse this platform of principles, each
State and section being at liberty to reject only
the application of said principles, and not the
principles themselves, whenever it will tend TO
increase our numbers and enlarge our iniu
ence.
Here follows thena Of the Grand Nation
al Presiding Anger and ofthe r. W Grand Scib-
bier,