Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1855-06-29

"That ever I, philandcr Pepper, should
be so treated, and by woman, too, is not
to be believed. ] can't believe it, no, nor
| won't either. But she shan't escape,
that's certain if she should, my reputa-
ton for dignity would be forever gone;
for havn't told Solomon Simpleton all
along how was going to make my wife
stand round, and how | was going to make
her get up and make the fire every morning
and let me lie bed, and how was going
to shut her up, and feed her on bread and
water, if she dared to say she wouldn't do
it
"a cosy little arrangement, Mr.. Pep
per-" said soft voice behind him.
Mr. p. started up, and there stood Mrs.
p. right behind his chair laughing just as
hard as she could. Mr.. Pepper put on a
severe look.
"Sit down in a chair, madam he said,
pointing to the one he had just vacated,
"while l have little conversation with
you. Now I should be pleased to know
why you did not abide my orders this
morning, and where you have been all the
forenoon %
"Where I have been this forenoon, Mr.
Pepper, l have not the least objection to
tell you, have been down town doing a
little shopping. have purchased some
lovely napkins ; just look at then,' said
she holding them up demurely for his in
spection; 81 only paid a dollar apiece for
them-extremely cheap, don't you think
so ?" she said
Mr.. Pepper was astonishcl, how she
dared to turn the conversation in this way
was mystery to him. Suddenly his bott-
led wrath broke loose Turning fcraely
upon her, he said.
"Betsy Jane, you disgust me; you seem
to make very light Of this matter, but
it is more serious than you imagine, as
you will find to your cost presently. If
you do not instantly beg my pardon IN
a submissive manner, l shall exert my
authority to bring you to proper sense of
your misconduct, by imprisonins you in
one of my chambers until you are willing
to compromise by strict obedience to my
wishes"
A, the close Of this very eloquent and
dignifed speech, Mr.. Pepper drew himself
up to his full height, and stationed him
self before Mrs 2. ready to receive ex-
pressions of sorrow and penitence he had
no doubt that she would fall down at his
feet, and say
'Dear Philander, won't you please for
give me this time, and I'll never do so any
more"
And he was going to say, "Betsy Jane,
you'd better not y but instead Of doing all
this, what do you think she did : Laughed
him right in the face
Mr.. Pepper was awful wrathy. lie
spoke up in voice of thunder, and said {;
"Mrs Pepper, walk right up stairs this
very minute, and don't let the grass grow
under your feet while you are going neith-
cr. You have begun your antics in good
season, Mrs. Pepper, but I'll have you
know-that it won't pay to continue them
any length of time with me, Mrs. Pepper.
Again l command you to walk up stairs"
"Well, really, Mr.. F., it is not at all
necessary for you to speak so loud am
not so deaf as all that comes TO but as
for walking up stairs l have not the least
objection to doing SO, if you will wait un-
til l have recovered from my fatigue but
| can't think of doing so before"
"But you must, Mrs p"
"Thcn all I've got to say is this, you'll
have to carry me, for ,ron't walk -
Mr.. p. looked at his wife for moment
in the greatest astonishmcnt, but as she
began to laugh at him again, he thought
to himself:
"She thinks | won't DO it and hopes to
get off in that way, but it won't do ; up
stairs she's got to 60, if do have to carry
her; so here goes and taking the form
of his lady in his arms, he soon had the
satisfaction of seeing her safely lodged in
her prison, and carefully locking her in,
he stationed little red-hcaled youth on
the front door steps TO attend to calls and
also to see that Mrs. p did not escape /;
and then he betook himself to restaurant
for his dinner, and after despatehing that,
he hurried off to his office, and was soon
cngrossed in business.
A bout the middle of the afternoon, our
young sentinel rushed into the office, and /
said, never stopping to take breath:
"Mr. Pepper had better run home just
as fast as he can, for that woman what's
shut up be making an awful racket, and
she be tearing around there, and rafting
things the distressingest kind, and if she
beant splitting up something or other, then
don't know what splitting be y
W;,hout waiting to hear more, Mr.. ?.