The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1855-10-30
NO. Ii.

lowing conversation was overheard among " the
Volunteers OF The RIO Grande" Scene, night
Two volunteers wrapped in blankets, and halt bu.
red in The mnd.
Volunteer lst-'Jim, how come you TO Snlun-
teer 2
Volunteer 2d-'Why, Bob, you see have no
wife to care red cent for me, and so volunteer.
ed-and besides, I like lcar Now tell me how
you came om here.
Volunteer lst-sWhy, the fact is, you know, 1
IL have got wife, and so | came out here
because like ge0ce!'
Hereupon both the volunteers turned over in
their blankets. got a new plaserng OF mud, and
went TO sleep.
A mdshipman asked Priest TO tell the differ
ence between Priest and a JackRss. The Priest
gave il up.
..One wears cross on bis back nnJ, the ohes
on his breast" said the Mdshipmnn.
"Now," said .he Priest ''lell me the difference
between a Mdshipmnn and Jackass y
The Midshpman gave it uP, and asked what
it was.
The Priest said he did not know any ditsranec-
a .
let me out let me out on the Steps sung
out specmen of Young America, abou. ,w"
years old, to his mother who opposing all his
efforts TO get out.
You'll go off The steps
mo wont =
Yes, you will
No, III be id il dol he said.
FUN-sBob !ower yourself into the well ond
halIoo for help.
'What for 7
''To frghten daddy, and make some fun
Bob did he desired but got more tun
than he bargained for. Il was administered win
hickory sapling. Distance five and a half
feet.
A witty gentleman OF this town, speaking nf
friend who was prostrated by illness, remarked
that he could hardly recover, since his constinI.
ton all gone
'If his constitution is oil gone, said bystander,
4 do not see how he lives nj ALL
o. responded the wag, 'he lives on the by.
laws
i say, Mister, how come your eyes so all fired
crooked 2
My eyes 2
Yes
by setting between two gals, ard trying to look
love To both at the same time
lady who caugh, her magpie stealing her
picked walnuts, threw a basin oi hot grease over
the poor bird, exclaiming
.nh, you thi"f, ynn'Ve bee" al tho frckied wall
nuts, have your
Poor Mag. was dreadfuIly burned, his feathers
came off, leaving his head entirely bnre-he lost
all spirits and spoke not word for more than
year, hen gentleman called at he house. who,-
oa taking off his bat, exhibited very bald head
The magpie appeared evidently struck with the
circumstance. Hopping upon The back Of his
char and looking han hastily over, he SUDDENLY
exclaimed, in the OF his asonished visitor:
oh, you thief! you've been at the picked wal
NUS, have you?
I
man in the Hotel reading room, busy With two
volumes at once
why Charley-how was that 7
sAun1y-he had a volume of Dickens in one
hand and volume of smoke acomins out Of his
mouth
Naughty-Naughiy Charley
One day last week, says an English paper, as
antiquary of this town passing through an
adjoining village in search Of curio+ities he stepped
into the public house and very nnoceniy asked
to be served with pound of beer for curiosys
sake, as he had been informed that they sold beer
there by the pound The IandIady Promptly re-
piled that they did so ill the prrish pound was
removed, but since then the space on which j.
stood had been added to the premises, they now
sold by the yard.
Paddy McShane was annoyed exceedingly by
a strange dog. One cold winter night, the wind
cutting like knife, after the dog had been turned
no less rIrnn three times, Pat was awakened
by an extensive fracture Of :he glass. The dog
was IN the house again, Paddy waited upon him
oHt, and both absent some fifteen mnules
that his old woman, becoming alarmed at
his prolonged absence, aud went 10 The
window.
What yees doing out there, Paddy. acushlal'
said she.
There wossuch ehatfering Of tcelh thltihe ms
wer for some time was somewhat uninielligibir.
At last il came:
i am thryn 10 frsze the diyiIish basic 10 death
Col. Bodens, who was very fat, being accosted
by man 10 whom he owed money, with how
dye do 2 answered, Pretty WE'LL | thank you /:
you find hold my own Yes, sir rrjoned .he
man, and mine, TOO, 10 my sorrow
What bTutes your southern are-nIways
smoking cisars.' said young lady toa Creole
miss. Yes but your northern men, in Maine,
you know. smoke herrngs, tho quick reply.
~-~~~-~>~~->-~-------
A gentleman was called upon 10 apologize for
words uttered in wine.
i beg pardon, SAID he, Il did not mean to say
what did but have had the misfortune 10 lose
some of my front teeth, and words get out every
now and then without my knowing word about IT,
He was going 90, when friend pulled him down
by the coat lad, saying:
Don't say one word more never was there
more perfect apology. II you add u word nurs
von'U snoil IL comDletelY,