The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1855-01-10
Varieties.

"a iOtlSo.
At large fire at a celebrated piano
forte makers. an instrument worth two
hundred guinoas was burnt. it was in.
laid with mother Of pearl and other cost
lY decorations. Dear me- said a gen
tlcman to the proprietor, chow was it
they could not contrivo to save that
splendid instrument ?" "Why.n replied
the proprietor, Who being insured, could
offord the joke, the reason was that the
engines could no, play upon it, | am
told.n
decline OF Irlsn HuMoR. 1t has
been for some time remarked that the
Irish cha ractcr is undergoing an altera-
ton. The Belfast trade report confirms
this observation. 1t states that Yarns
continue as dull as possible A COM
ele.e change, therefore, appears to have
taken place in the character of Irish an
ccdote.
\ "MATTER or FACT" MAY-Whcn
DR.. Rradon was rector of Ethan. in
Kent. England. the text he one day took
20 preach from was" Who art thou p"
After reading the text he made Gas was
his CUSTOM pause for the congregation
to reflect upon the words, when a gentle
man in military dress. who was march
ing very scdatcly up the middle aisle Of
the church, supposng it to be question
addressed to him. to the surprise Of all
present replied. . l am, sir, an officer of
the 18th foot, on recruiting party here:
and having my wife and family with me,
wish to be acquainted with the neigh.
boring gentry and clergy"
The congregation of a church were
very much annoyed at the continual in
toxication of their sexton in fact, his
misconduct had reached such a height
that it was deemed cxpcdient that the
vcstry should call the offender to ac-
count. Now, it 50 Glanced that the
leading man in the vcstry was . certain
we'll known physician. and lie having un.
dertaken to reprimand the sexton, an
imadverted upon his sin with great sew
Gritty. The sexton listened until he got
through, but then exclaimed with great
Indignation, Sir thought that you
would have been the last man alive to be
70 bard agin me, when I've been this
'slAny year covering blunders of yours"
A deserted Husband in Baltimore ad-
vcrtises his wife as having left his bed
and board, and offers a reward Of fifty
dollars to any man that is white, and has
never been convicted for stealing. who
will marry her and take her to Caifor.
uia.
Despair makes dcspicablc fgure,and
descends from mean original. 1t
is the offspring of fear, of laziness, of
iYpatiencc it argues a defect of spirit
End resolution, and oitcutmos Of hon
esty, too.
Disappointmcnts dcrange and over
,romevNnlgar minds. The patient and
the wise, by proper improvement, fire.
Nuently make them contribute to their
high advantage.
EEUcATioN.-Give children sound
moral and literary cducation-useful
learning for sails, and integrity for bal
last-set tie~ ahoat upon the sea of life,
aud their voyage will be prosperous in
abc best sense Of the word.
MAKING BREAD.-An attorney about
10 furnish bill of costs, was requested
by hi. client, baker, to make it IS
Iight as he could" All replied the
attorney, that's what you say to your
frreMar, but it's not the way make my
bread.H
There scarce can be named one quality
that is amiable in woman, which is not
becoming ia a man, not excepting even
modcsty ami gentlouess of nature.
They that deny God, destroy mans
nobility; for certainly man is like the
beasts in his body and if he is not like
God in his spirit, he is an igAoble crca'
ture.
An old author quantity remarks -
Avoid argument with ladies. In spin
iiag yarn among silks and sGttRs a ,Han
is sure to be worsted and twisted Aud
when q man is worsted and twisted, he
,aay consider himself wound up
4 sleptical young man one day con-
vcrsing with Dr. parr, observed that he
would believe nothing which he could
not understand. "Then young man.
said the DR., your creed will be the
shortest of any mans know"
A little boy, five years old, while
writing under the fortunes of the ague,
was told by his mother to rise up and