davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
Erpreas s. :Bortuaruitr1.
ESTiEsEESHEN IN 1881.

ESTABLISHED IN 1851.
NORfH-WESTERN EXPRESS COMPANY.
HONNECTING with the American Express Company t.
~ all the prnc pal points in TIE United States Cana d.
and Europe.
Tie cheapest and safest way Of transporting Lgh, and
valuable Goods-Specie and Bank Notes.
Particular attention paid the collection of Notes Bills
Drafts and Accounts Purchase and Sale of Merchandise
LOST FREIGHT AND BAGGAGE
looked up nd delivered owners &c.
Messeugers-Semi Weekly
J. c. BURBANK & co,
st. Paul Nav 16 81 Promoters
BORCP a CHAMPLkN
vNOULD respectfully inform the Merchants ard tb.
w public generally that they have ought out the
interest of Messrs. Burbank Co in the Forwarding
and Commission business, and that they can afford In
creased facilities to all those who may them with
q share of their patronage. They will attend to gene
raj Storage, Forwarding and Commission business AZ
their Warehouse on the Lower Landing. Having leas
ed the Nharf-boat, those who ship them will
expense of drayage.
REFERENCES:
Cronin, I!urxthall 4 Lear, New York.
J. Harmon d Co, Buffalo.
James G. Fargo Chicago.
Mather 4 Co. g
w. A. McCoskey, Galenu.
d. II. Campbell,
r. S. Jessup 4 Co, Dubuque.
Chouteau 4 Vale, st. Louis.
Borup Cakes, ST. Paul.
ST. Paul, Feb. 20, 1855 feb3ld6m
E.XFIkESs NOTICE.
Ii persons ordering merchandise. packages or none,
"A from the Fast by express. will please the same
to be marked to the Care of Burbank Co., Gaena"
J. e. BURBANK & CO.,
aug "o-c&WtI Props Northwestern Express Co.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
From Putnam's Magazine.
BESSIE.

BESSIE.
Bessie wears gown OF red
homespun gown lni apron blue
she has no hat upon her head,
And her wee brown ieet are withou, sbos
Bessie has hoir like the sunsets gold
And her eyes were born from the deep bus sea
In their depths 10 a story told
love Bessie, and she loves me.
Bessie's hands are harl will! toll,
And her cheeks are dark with the wind and rain
but her lips rich with the rosy spoil,
That il once I taste, mus taste again.
Bessie has neer q silken gown,
Nor crimson hat, n or a necklacs fine;
But she wears Of cuwslips a golden crown,
That I'D rather than any Quecn's were mine
Bessie dwells in a l0wly cot
lonely cabin with trembling walls
Ills old and poor, hut she thinks il not,
And loves IL better III an lordly halls.
She counts the STARS she goes to sleep,
And loves to listen TO the pattering song,
That over her head, the rain-drops keep,
In the April weather, all night long.
Bessie's step is light liSe the fawn's,
And her voice like the Ginning Of silver bells
| hear il Oft in the summer mOrns,
Nut dare not whisper what il tell.
Lingering and dying round my heart,
Ever and ever its echees be;
Who shall divide Us, what shall part
| love Bessie, and she loves me.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
Great Fight in CalifOrnia-Rescue OF the
Prisoner fro the Jail-FrOm seven to
ten men ShOt-TwO Killed and others
wounded.

wounded.
The Eureka Herald of the eth ult., gives the
following account of great fight a: Green
horn:
On Wednesday afternoon last, two men,
named Robert Wilson and W. A. Baker, were
arrested 10y the sheriff of this County, and
brought before inc County Judge for con-
tempt of Court in breaking the Middle Green
Horn Ditch in violation of an injunction is
sued from said court The former was bound
over to appear he following day, and the lat
ter found in the sum Of one hundred dollars
and five days Imprisonment in the county jail
and was immedi ltely remanded to prison.
Shortly after, large mob collected in front OF
the jail. They drew pistols and raised an axe
over the head OF the jailOr, threatening to blow
out his brains unless he gave up the keys, which
he did, and they liberated Wilson and locked
MP the cell again.
The sheriff then came and commanded them
to desist, appealing to them to support and
respect the laws. &c. Neither the sheriff nor
the main body Of the mob knew at this time
that the prisoner was gone, it being dark ana
rainy.
The mob attacked the door with an axe, but
were driven away. They then made further
onsets, telling the officers they would not listen
to any more, pushing the officers about, threat
ening to shoot, &c. At this time the Under
Sheriff, Mr.. NJ. G. White, arrived with pair
of revolvers, handing one TO the sheriff. The
mob were then told TO stand back. hey re-
fused, when the sheriff, under sheriff, and a few
citizens fired several rounds on the mob which
they returned direct at the Sheriff, and retired
:, short distance. The Sheriff and his posse
val five no
again rallying, returned. and were again order
ed to DISTINGUISHING they were again fired
upon; they then rctreated and disappeared.
iIy this time % citizens were at the Jail well
armed. The sheriff received shot in the
thigh, and one other citizen was wounded
Two of the mob were mortally wounded and
several others less severely. A large posse Of
citizens had volunteered TO 60 in pursuit Of the
leaders in the riot.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23

R~ Messrs. Corcoran & Riggs have
paid into the Treasury about 100000,
attached in their hands by the Government,
being about one fourth of the amount
fraudulently obtained by Gardner, under a
decision of the Board of Mexican Commits
sioners.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
SPARKLING SUNDAY NIGHT.

Sitting In the corner,
On Sunday eve,
With a taper finger
Resting on your sleeve;
Starlight eyes are casting
On your face their light
Bless me this is pleasant
Sparkling Sunday night
How your heart is thun.pin.
'Gainst your Sunday vest
How wicked.y tits working
On this day of rest
Hours seem but minutes,
As they take their flight
Bless rae amt it pleasant
Sparkling Sunday night
Dad and main are sleeping
On their peaceful bed,
Dreaming OF the things
The folks in meeting said.
"Lovc We one another
Ministers recitc;
bless me don't we do II
Sparkling Sunday night?
Wv hA WIN
Lingers round her waist
You squeeze her dimpled hand,
Her pouting lips you taste /;
She freely SLIPS your face,
but more in love than spite
Oh, thunder amt it pleasant
Sparkling Sunday night
But bark the clock is striking,
It's two O'Clock, snum
As sure as I'm a sinner,
The time to go has come.
You ask with spite iul accents,
II" that old clock il right"
And word if il ever
sparkle on Sunday night.
One, two, three sweet kisses,
Four, 1--WE, six you hook
But, thinking that you rob her,
Give back those you took
Then, rs forth you hurry,
From the fair ones sight,
Don't You wish each day wss--
Only Sunday night.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23

n0-Among the acts of the last Utah
Legislature, was one called the "Gift Law"
10y which the faithful are to vest all their
real aud personal estatein Brigham Young.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23

p~A bill to abolish the whole system
of liquor licences in Pennsylvania, has be.
come law in that State.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23

TIME coming for building will find JARVIS:
II at home with heavy stock of Oils Paints, Colors
and Window GLASS; TO which the attention of old
TONER'S and many crowd into the little
MCLTCM IN PARvO is invited.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
Net11 Enrk.

NEW YORK ADVERTISEMENT
From the Newspaper Agency of ). NJ Pettengii 4
Co, ll9 Nassau ST., n. " and 10 St. Thomas
street. Boston.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
Druga 81 MeotrfMes.

TO CASH CUSTOMERR.
Save your Dimes and Diminish your
Expenses.
SELLING OFF AT COST!
THIRST RATE Delicious Butter = h.
IL superior Lard l21s cents I. Ii.
Extra Imperial Tea,
Mackeral, White Fish, and Picked Herring;
Lard Oil, one dollar gallon;
Lnseed Oil, Glass and Putty;
Excellent Mess Pork
White Beans and Peas;
Rio Coffee, Ii for dollar.
Pressed, Mould Candles l6 c. q ID.
Star Candles and Burning Fluid;
With many other necessary and useful articles needed
BY families at the Cheap Cab Grocery store attached
to the
MuLTUM IN PARvO EBUu STORE.
On 9Th, between Jackson and Roberts streets,
W. ii. JARVIS
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
:FaMrp Goooa, sc.

ARSENAL, GETZ CO.,
DsslrS az oil Kinds ~
ENANCY GOODS, Toys, Jewelry, Musical Instru-
II ments, Accor1eons, Cutlery, Sporting Apparatus,
Fishing Tackle, Willow Ware, Pcrfumery, ect.
Alse, all kinds of Fruit, Nuts, Fancy Candies, and
BEST IMPORTED CIGARS.
All orders from abroad promptly attended to.
ARSENAL, GETZ CO.,
March l0-lyd Third street, next door TO Presley.
A. III. MlDSlIEE.
MANrTACTURER AND DEALER
ALL KINDS OF HATS, CAPS. FURS AND GLOVES,
Third Street, opposite the NinnesotiaR Office
A Ii. NJ. has hand III addition q full stock OF
IA the articles above enumerated, large assortment
of INDIAN CURIOSITlES
And Gentlemens Furnishing Goods. He would also in
form the Ladies and Gentlemen Of Minnesota that he il
prepared to make up all descriptions of Fancy Fp,,
dies Riding Hats. and Gloves at the shortest notice
The highest market price will be- paid fo- Furs AMI
Deer Skins.
June "a, "a div.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23

"OLFE'S SCHIEDAM, SCHNAPPS;
w Ayre's Cherry Pectoral;
Jayne's ExpectoraEt;
And all the Patent Medicines in use;
For sale at the MuLrUM IN PARvO DRuG STORE.
W, H. JARVIS.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
Soldiers Attendii

GOOD NEWS MORE BOUNTY LANDil
A LAW passed Congress March Sd. 1855, giving One
IA Hundred and Sixty Acres of Land all persons
VINO nave performed ii days military service any war
of the United States since l7.5.
The Law includes all the Commissioned and Non Com
mS'ioned Officers Musicians and Priyates, (ncludng IL
dams either Volunteers, Rangers, Militia Tcanster
Also all the Commissioned and Non Commissioned Of
fcers Of The Navy Seamen, Iandsmen Marines Eotill
Men, Claplains ana Clerks.
THOSE WHO HAVE RECEIVED 10 OR so ACRES ARE
ENTITLED TO ENOUGH MORE TO MAKE THE 1sO
Soldiers OF the Black Hawk Patriot and others wars
who have made applications for land and failed, on
acres If they served fourteen days, they engag
ell in battle
The Veteran Soldiers of the Revolution who draw pen
,ons are now entitled to land Ii dead their widows
draw it.
The benefits Of this act (in case Of the soldiers DEATH
extend 10 his widow or his MINOR children, but to no
other heirs
It is thought that nearly hundred millions Of acres
will be issued under this act and in conseouencc Of tho
large number o apTca lions that win made some con
siderable time will necessarily eapse before they can a
he acted Remember the n;aNim first come fret
served.
We have made arrangements with experienced Arm
at Washington for obtaining Bounty Land Tor all entitled
% it living III this Territory, who may favor Us Wit,
call
WE MAKE No CHARGE IN ANY CASE, UNLESS WE
OBTAIN TIL, LAND
Any information in regard TO the subject. chccrfuly
given. Parker Il CARVER
April I3d&wtf Attorneys at Law.
f1NHE spacious buildings and premises on Fifth street
i the site of the Slnt"mine House. The building,
and offer great inducements any one vi hing
to into the Foundry other manufacturing business
az they were built for that purpose Inquire f
st. Pau, Oct. rs, 1S54-tf +. NJ. y IIMAN
CITY & COUNTY PROPERTY FOR
SALE,
M f offer for snle the follow ing desirable property
w ut low prices and on liberal terms:
Lot fronting the Market House door.
IS Lots, well located, in kittson's Addition.
l5O acres timber land, ten miles from town.
Feb. 6, ls55-Oaw6md DORUP d CAKES.
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23

"WINDON GLASS, JARVIS."
~ LASS al sizes will be furnished cheaper than ever
" fered before in st. Paul.
MuLTrN IN PARvO DRUG STORE
The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1855-04-23
An Old Drug Store
UNDER A NEW FIRM.

A FINE ASSORTMENT of Fresh Garden Seeds,
IA just received by Express, and for sale by
March S-tf MORTON a. PACE.
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10
ODE TO TOBACCO.

s-.i-Hl Thrice precious weed ] love thee we'll,
Thy magic virtues who can ,eiil
SO sooG you taste. good You sIaeli--ToSaccoi
s-Fee ii3y pleas ut lis - chew the cu3,
TIC feel all over queer and good,
With cheeks distended b. the 9uId-Tobaeco
Thy brown saliva, when il flows
s5l Fast from the lips and daubs thc uoso,
Ihy greatest beauty fully shows--fobaccoi
o-zs = Gu make the man appear polite
" no chews and spits from morn till night,
Til paricr floors groan with their mi ght-Tobaceoi
The boy Of sixteen oft appears
Large the man of thirty wears tsa
Thy smoke dark curling round mis- ears-Tonacco. !.
Just see bim clad in Sunda clothes Iar
s--F He mounts his horse. turn up his nose,
And pulls thy fumes high as he gocs-Tobaeco!
An, yes, asj when he comes to die.
No moth WORE will e'r come nigh;
They d snuff the and grin ard cTy--Tobacco :,
49,. Zen from the grave lif it be near,j --...
They fly with sal, foreboding fear. -
Tor worms and snakes can ncvsr bear-Tobacca.
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10
ll1riqinal MoraI GaIf.
IwR1-rrx ron The JourSAL-I
TIE
. 2 AMRA 1gA
CHAPTER XII.
looerEIaHr .EcrKzn.I

.
Half IA hour after this, We End 5Valens and
Yertitia alone in the hall. Valencia is in their
sleeping apartment, endeavoring to quiet lit
tie Ware, who had walked out OF his sleep,
fretting and crying. .9isaEi5lI a
Poor child. Little did it know how near
We're the days Of its orphanage,-lttl Of its
mothers approaching epd. Happy ignorancei
1t had missed, however, that sweet, soothing
voice, and that plaintive niglit-song that joy
Gus countenance that ever bearned so brightly
over it,--that warm bosom on which it had
nestled, and that fond, careful arm which lad
ever encircled ii in its evening siumbers: and
most of the time, since its mother had been
torn from its side, it had been restless and
fretful.
The father and daughter engaged in an
earnest conversation. The latter, listening
with eager attention, is looking UP with .
strange, inquiring interest in the face of the
former; while he is endeavoring to communi-
cate something clearly and intelligibly to her
mind. 49,
II is necessary here TO state, that the sudden
and mysterious disappearance OF Fiducia, had
from the first, made deep impression her
sisters mind, and seemed likely to result IN
her good,-if not, indeed, in a permanent
change. Her father had not failed to notice
this, With the liveliest interest, and he had a.
vailed himself, as he supposed, of this favora-
bic opportunity of conrersing with her about
the glory to come, and other kindred subjects.
Then, that LAST conversation which he had
with her, thopgh unk:ndly received at the
time, had ,nade its impression-7stFange it is
true, bst, perhaps, natural under the cir
cumstances. --
he had told her, as the reader viii remem-
Der, Of an igrisible agenS which could overcome
the stoutest resistance of the soul, and win it
oSerinto hearty and cordial reception Of the
new faith This, ever since, had greatly
troubled her and given her much uneasiness.
Sne had formed to herself many queer notions
concerning its-as TO what il was, how it look
ell, or whence it came. She had been afraid
70 60 gu: alone, lest she should meet IL, or
even to 60 asleep, lest sine should wake ND
Christian. She was constantly on the watch,
partly from fear and partly through curiosity;
and, poor yert;tiai she had been anxious to
steal, as it we're, a conversation from her
father about it. s-
Hence, after ne had described in the most
simple aud touching language the giories of
the life and world 10 come, and upon which.
said he, s'your dear sister tomorrow at ten o.
clock will enter,r and having kindly e1horted
her to give up the 6tfnl pleasures OF time for
'hs eyer-endnrins happiness Of the skies
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10

A HARD SroRY.-The Louisville Courier
tell some tough yarns. 1t says that fishing
party in Kentucky got out of sbait,' and no
worms were to be found. At last young Ia
dy suggested the following:
ssThat physician who was present should
despatch messenger to his Office To procurs a
vial of vern1ifuee, which should be administer
ed to certain tallow-faced young man who
had been affecting some attentions to her du-
ring the morning, and if the worms were not
forthcoming she would pay the expense Of the
medicine 20
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10

TEMpERANcE.-Ano old Dutchman, who had
recently Joined the temperance society, was
taken sick, and sent for the doctor to prescribe
for him, who ordered him to take an ounce of
brandy per day. The old chap overhauled his
arithmetic, and found in the table of apothe-
carries weight that eight drachms make one
ounce.
ssMine Cot" says the Dutchman, ''that is
the temperance society for me; did not take
but six drains before, now / gets eight"
The consequence was that his complaint
went off and took him with it.
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10
Hopffu.
ruf STAR OF BETHLEHEM.

THE :3TAR OF BETHLEHEM.
when mar zba'.cd or tho nightly plain,
fhe .;litteFing hest heStud the sky;
One sisr :.'ore of sil the train,
J&a G2 the Sims, wanterfag eye
Hsri., h2ris 20 God the chorus breaks.
g FROM every host; from every gem;
But tone alone, the Saviour speaks,
tis the Star Of Bethlehem.
Once on the raging seas rode:
The storm was loud, the night w-s tsrk,
The ocean yawnea. and rudcly biowei
The wind that tossed ray fouadsripg bark
pecp horror then rry vitals frore
i7-A Dcath-struck, | ceased the tide 20 stem.
NJ hen suddenly 4 star arose
8 1t was the Star CT Bethlehem.
1t was my guide. my light my al,
Il bade my dark forebod;Eg cease:
And through the storm and dangers thrall,
II led me 20 the port OF peace.
Now safely noored. my pcrils DER,
III sing. first III nights diaaen,
For ever, and for ever more.
The Star TIE Star OF Beth Iehcin
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10
To be continued.

1NFANrs.-Beautiful is an infant whatever
way we picture it TO ourselves. Beautiful in
the cradle. Beautiful upon parents knee
Beautiful asleep. Beautiful at play in the cor
ner OF the room. or under the shade tree be-
fore the door. Beautiful as lamb in the
Saviour's arms. Beautiful at the font of lap
tism. Beautiful beneath the coffin lid Yes.
beautiful even there, in the loveliness of death
with hands folded peacefully, with brow like
moulded wax, with eyes closed in sleep
ssperchance to dream with lips so graceful
iy composed, rs if to say, 81 murmur not -
and with its entire face radient with smile,
which is the imprint of its dying vision. 81 3o
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10

STELLAR CoNJuNcTIoN.-Th New Orleans
(La.) Delta says We have friend, (don't
say it was us, dear reader, six footer, who
was promenading on public occasion with a
magnificent woman. owe are the observed of
all observers" said the gentleman.
sYes, replied the lady, eve are two bril-
liant stars.'' @ slo5iss sis iia
stPut the stars together" responded the
gentleman "and what brilliant sun they
would make ~
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10

wA lady in ST. Louis has hook, fxed on
her garfers, and visiting shoe stores, contrives
to carry offa dozen pairs Of CATERS without
the disgrace Of being seen with bundle, and
without the knowledge Of their owner.
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10

~ The st Louis Rspx5Acan says that few
days ago, a man aud his wife, in that city,
were engaged In arrangeing separstiea---s
The principal difficulty was the baby which
the woman tearfully begged to be allowed to
keep while the man aagrily refused. AtienSth
the wife almost shssw the child into thes bus
bands arms, and exclaimed. esTaks ito I On.
soon have ano;her.''
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10

u There is nothing that takes the starch
out Of an aristocrat so soon as to nominate
him to some Office that GENES before the peo-
pie. He's as fawning as a dog, and as polite
and neighborly as French dancing master
Elections, after all, by the people, do more to
take the starch out of the ruf1ed shirt gentry
than any thing else. a % 5f
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10

% An exchange mentions hearing an ad-
dress from one Of the ssstrong minded" ssShe
made some good hits, but not very strong
case, and tipped over all her arguments for
wornan's Independence of the other sex, by
passing mans hat TO take up the coIlection.n
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10

A LOVERS sSTRATAGEM.-A marriage was con-
summated out West, recently, under very pc
culiar circumstances. The father of the bride
was violently opposed to the marriage; and on
the day appointed for its celebration posted
s'No admittance" on the gateway leading to
his house, and stationed young man with Il
musket to enforce attention to the ordinance
from the expectant bridegroom. Finding he
could not accomplish his object without resort
ing to force or stratagem, and remembering
that his lady love had ring of his in her pos
charge of obtaining goods under false preten-
ces, had her brought before magistrate, who,
after the lover had withdrawn his complaint
and paid the costs, soon united them in the
ssholy bands of matrimony.''
Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-10
Methodist man stopped in the

| on every side. Methodist man stopped in the
midst of long, touching supplication to cuff
the ears of little boy who hit with brick;-
hours slipped away; began to think the enter
tainmcnt was postponed on account Of the
weather. Noon came; folks not half SO sacred
as they were in the morning; ministers had got
too hoarse to talk, and were passing the time
kissing the sisters. Damphool looked so chill
ly that 1 got him glass of hot .whiskey punch;
he looked at me with holy horror, and went on
with his prayer, but before he got to amen, the
punch had disappeared; husband of red-haired
woman came and ordered her to go home and
wash the breakfast dishes and then mend his
Sunday pantaloons. One O'Clock; zeal began
to cool off; at two the enthusiasm was below
par; at three rain poured so that 1 thought an
alteration in the Litany would be necessary to
make it read, 'Have mercy on us poor miSera-
bic sacinnners.' Small boy threw a handful of
gravel at long Methodist man, which hit him
in the face, and made him look ike a mulatto
with the small pox. Long Methodist man punch
ed small boy with fence rail. Four O'Clock:
Gabriel hadn't come yet. Damphool much dis
appointed, muttered something about being
'sold;' people evidently getting hungry; no
loaves or fishes on the grounds woman with two
children said she was going home to put them
in trundle bed; long man looked round to see
that no one was looking, then tucked his robe
under his arm, got over the fence, and started
for home on dog trot. Dark; no signs OF fire
works yet; pyrotechnic exhibition not lillelyto
commence for some time. Crowd impatient.
(I here missed Damphool, and found him an
hour afterwards paying his dcvotions to an Is
penny oyster stew and mug of ale.) Staid an
hour longer, when the crowd to disperse, with
their ascension robes so bedraggled that if they
had received 4 second summons to go, would
have taken an extra quantity of soap suds to
make them presentable among decent angels.
Appointed myself committee of five to
look into the matter; offered the following
resolution, which l unanimously adopted:
Resolved, Thatputting on a c,ean shirtto go to
heaven in, don't always result in getting there
even though the tails be of cxtra}epgth and
that the creed that teaches sucha7mode of pro-
cedure is farcical theology, fully worthy to
be ranked among the many other excellent
sells of that veteran joker of worldwide ce-
lebrity-Joe Miier. Dampiy yours,
81 -g Q. X. PHILANDER DoEsTIcKs, p. B.