Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1855-09-19
MY CRUELTY TO MY RELATIVES.

don't know what evil genius prompted
the wickedness which l perpetrated with
regard to my wife and my ancient rela-
tive.
"M My DEAR said l to my wife, on the
day before my aunt's arrival, you know
aunt Mary is coming tomorrow well, l
forgot to mention rather annoying cir
cumstance with regard to her. She's
very deaf; and although she can hear
my voice.. to which sheis accustomed in
its ordinary tones, yet you will be Oblig-
ed to speak extremely loud in order to
be heard. 1t will be rather inconven-
lent, but know you will do everything
to make her stay agreeable.
Mrs. S. announced her determination
to make herself heard. if possible.
l. then went to John =, who
loves joke as well as any person know
of, told him to be at my house at 9 T. NJ,
on the following evening. and felt com
paratively, happy.
"I went 10 the R. R. Depot with car
riage next night; and when l was on
my way home with my aunt, 1 said, My
dear aunt, there is one rather annoying
infrmily that Anna has, which 1 forgot
to mention before. She's very deaf ;
and although she can hear my voice to
which she is accustomed, in its ordinary
tones, yet you will be obliged to speak
extremely loud, in order to be heard.
Pm sorry for it,"
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her
heart, protested that she rather liked
speaking loud (; and to do SO would al
ford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove UPON the steps
was his wife-in the window was John
with face as unutterly solemn
as if he had buried all his relatives that
afternoon
l handed out aunt-she ascended the
the steps.
81 am delighted to see you," shrieked
my wife, and the policeman on the op-
posite dewalk started, and my aunt
nearly fell down the stOop.
''Riss me, my DEAR howled my aunt;
and the hall lamp clattered, and the win
dows shook as with the fever and ague.
[ looked at the window-John had disap-
peared Human nature could stand it
no longer. poked my head into the
carnage and went into stroug convul-
sions.
When 1 entered the parlor. my wife
was helping Aunt Mary to take off her
hat and cape and there sat John with
his face of woe.
There was silence tor about five min
utes-the ladies' evidently rallying their
voices for talk.
Suddenly, did you hare a pleasant
journey?' went off my wife like pistol;
and John nearly jumped to his feet.
"Rather dusty" was the response, in
war-whoop; and so the conversation
continued.
The neighbors for the blocks around
must have heard it when was in the
third story l heard every word plainly
In the course of the evening my aunt
took occasion to say TO me, ''HosO loud
yOur rife speaks. Don't it hurt her s'
told her all deaf persons talk loudly,
and that my wife, being used to it, was
not affected by the exertion, and that
Mary was getting along very nicely with
her. Presently my wife said, softly.
"AJ, hOp ve,y loud your aunt talks. u
EYES," said 1, coll deaf persons do
You're getting along with her finely
She hears every word you say ;" and
rather think she did.
Elated by their success at being un-
derstood, they went at it hammer and
tongs, till everything on the mantle
piece clattered again, and was serious
ly afraid of crowd collecting in font oI
the house.
But the end was near. Ny aunt being
of an investigating turn of mind, was de-
sIrous of finding out whether the exer
ton of talking so loud was not injurious
to my wife So, "DOesn' talking so louO
strain yOur tungs 9' said she, in an un.
earthly boot, for her voice was not mu
sical as it was when she was young.
"His an erertion." shrieked my wife
"Then aOhy do you do ?" was the an
swering scream.
"Beeause-6ecause--you can't hear j
I DON'T squealed my wife.
"What ?" said my aunt, fairly rival
ing a railroad whistle this time.
began to think it time TO evacuat'
The premises /; and looking round anc
seeing John gone. stepped into the bacl
parlor, and there he lay, fiat on his back
with his feet in the air at right angl'
to his body, rolling from side to side
with his fists poked into his ribs, having
most agonized expression of counte-
nance, but not uttering sound. i'm