Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1855-09-19

have sworn going along before her on somebody
else,s head. Having heard generally of the swell
mob. nv good lady's first impression was, that
the wearer ofthis bonnet belonged to that frater-
ni,v had lust distracted the bonnet from its place
of repose was in every sense of the term, walking
off with it, and ought to be given into the custody
of the nearest policeman. Fortunately, however,
nv Susannah, who is no; distinguished by close
ness of reasoning or presence of mind, reflected as
it were by fash of inspiration, that the bonnet
might have been given away. Curious to see
TO whom, she quickened her steps, and deserted
beneath it, an ancient lady of an iron.bound pres
ence in whom (for my Susannah has an eye) she
instantly recognized the lineaments of the Com
missioner Eagerly pursuing this discovery she,
that very afternoon, tracked down an ancient gen.
tleman in one of the Commissioners hats. Next
day she came upon the trail of four stony maid
ems, decorated with artificial flowers out of the
Commissioners epergne; and thus we dug up the
Commissioners father and mother and four sisters,
who had been for some years secreed IN lodgings
round the corner, and never entered the Com
missiuners house save in the dawn OF morning
and the shades ofevening. From that time forth,
whenever my Susannah made call at the Com
missoner's she always listened on the doorstep
for any slgh. preliminary scuffiipg in the hall,
and hearing it, was delighted to remark, "The
family are here, and they are hiding them"
have never been personally acquainted with
any gentleman who kept his motherin law in the
kitchen, in the useful capacity ofcook; f; but have
heard of such case on good suthorlty. | once
lodged in the house of genteel lady claiming to
be widow, who had four pretty children, and
might be occasionally overheard coercing an OBJ
scure man in 3 sleeved waistcoat, who appeared
to be confined in some pit below the foundations
of the house, where he was condemned to be al
ways cleaning knives. One day the smallest of
the children crept into my room, and said, point
ing downward with little chubby fiuger, Don't
tell It's pa pa and vanished on tiptoe.
One other branch of the smuggling trade de-
mands word of mention 5efore conclude. My
friend of friends in my bachelor days, became the
friend of the house when got married. He Is
our Ameia's godfather; Amelia being the eldest
of our cherubs. Through upwards of ten years
he was backwards and forwards at our house
three or four times week, and always found his
knife and fork ready for him. What was my as
constituent on coming home one day to find Su-
sannah sunk upon the oil-cloth in the hall, hold
| inu her brow with both hands, and meeting nay
gaze, when admitted myself with my latch.key,
| in distracted manner 'sSusannah!' !' exealm-
ed, "what has happened ?" She merely eJacu-
lated, "Larver," that being the name ot the
friend in question. 'Susanpah!" said !, "what
of Larver? Speak! Has he met with any acci-
dent? Is he i'll? Susannah replied family,
.Married-married before we were" and would
have gone into Mysteries, hut that | make it
rule OF never permitting that disorder under my
roof.
For upwards of ten years my bosom friend Lar
yer, in close communication with me every day
had smuggled wife! He had at the last con-
fded the truth to Susannah, and had presented
Mrs. Larver. There was no kind of reason for
this that we could ever find out. Even Susan
nah had not doubt Of things being all correct
He had ''run' Mrs. Laryer into little cottage In
fIertforshire, and nobody ever knew why, or ev-
er will know. In fact, believe there was no
why in it.
The most astonishing part Of the matter is,that
have known other men do exactly the same
thing. could give the names of dozen in a
foot note, if thought it right.-l70a'sho'd
Rords.