The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1855-04-26

one else, such persistence would have been An
Toying; / should have rebelled against this as
sumption of authority, in forcing me to do
what was distasteful. But in Louis my nature
acknowledged superior charm. liked bet
ter to obey him than to please myself. That
evening, L forgot any presence but his own T;
conscious of his attention, longing for his ap-
prevail, sang with an abandonment entirely
new to me. The passionate lamentations of
Norma seemed for the moment the language of
my own heart, 1 entered into them so fully
No one spoke when / had done; but was well
assured that the music had been felt by all.
Some hours later, we found ourselves for a
short time alone. | took up my candle, and
said, Good night" Louis came to my side !:
he replaced the light upon the table, and drew
me to him. | leaned my forehead on his shout
der; his heart beat against my arm. Soon he
raised my head, and looked tenderly and seri-
ously in my face. Then he said, $50 now
dear; You will be noticed" So went like
little child
Some women, I suppose, would despise this
spirit OF submlssion-call it foolish and servie
Possibly, had we known each other longer
had we been married, for instance might BY
and by have felt, and endeavored to assert, a
will of my own. Had been clever woman,
instead of confiding girl, it would have been
W lildl lilul6 compliance could
not for any length of time be pleasing to a
character like his. He required to govern, in
deed, but not a tame and unresisting subject: it
would have been his delight to conquer a strong,
imperious will. Had | loved him less, should
have managed him better; but who that really
loved, ever once thought Of managing?
We had agreed that for the present the
knowledge of our affection should be confined
to ourselves. Circumstances of family nature
rendered it useless to hope for my parents con-
sent to our engagement; and what my mother
could not know, we both felt none other should.
Perhaps the very secrecy which this state of
things enforced gave to our intercourse charm
it would have lacked, had we been like other
lovers. III any one were present, we behaved,
as heretofore, in cousinly fashion; but when
we were alone moment, Louis was at my
side. He rarely uttered words of endearment
or bestowed caresses; but his whole manner
convinced me Of his love.
Those happy weeks went by like dream
but even the sweetest dreams must have an
end. Mine had, when the time came that he
must leave us. He was to go in the morning,
and late on the preceding night we had our
farewell meeting. | was miserable - Louis
calm. The months which must elapse before
we saw each other again were for me an eter-
nifty, so hopelessly long did they appear; to
him they were like other months, with the
usual complement Of days and weeks. thought
how blank and drear would be the time of sep
aration; he said, what happiness it would be
to meet once more. Probably all men would
have been like him, and every woman like me-.
We live more in the affections than they; de-
barred from an active mental life, from the
stirring pursuits of intellect and ambition, we
must find an absorbing interest in the heart
or nowhere. Let those of us who can feel, who
.hGce felt, be thankful, even though we NAV
have suffered, that we know what it is to love
and be beloved again.
Louis was not defnonstrativej / had felt
this, even painfully. sometimes wished for
q kiss, or clasp of the hand, which were
not given me; when bestowed, they were so
dear, so genial, could not but desire to have
them ohener. But this last night had no rea-
son to complain; again and again he embraced
me-detained me when would have left him
seemed as though he could not, by the tender
est words and caresses, express the love he felt.
Never before had | guessed how dear was to
him. Just before we parted, he took from his
little finger ring, which he always wore-a
gold hoop, set with single diamond. He pla-
ced it on my hand, and told me to remember,
whenever | looked upon it, that his affection
was pure as the gem and sterling as the gold
Probably it was stilled sort of thing to say at
such moment, but to me it had world of
meaning.
All the house was astir early the next morn
ing. We breakfasted by candle light, for Louis
was to meet the train at sunrise | could eat
nothing, and was silly enough to feel hurt that
Louis took his toast and coffee with apparent
relish AS | handed him a second cup, the
Hohf al 10 al
"Why, Bella" said mamma "what arc you
doing with Louis's ring?"
have given it to her, aunt" he replied, for
mel Rings were made for ladies' fingers
they are quite out of place upon a man. l have
thought so for some weeks back, and, casting
about in my own mind for fit person to endow
with the precious ornament, | fixed upon Bella
here. | do not know any one whom | should
like better to give it to, or who would be better
pleased to have it, do your"
"No, certainly" said mamma, all unsuspi-
cious; adding, Il am glad you have left it off
wearing it was the only foppish thing ever
knew you guilty Of"
And now came in my father, with word that
that Louis must hasten, for the cars were pune
tual to minute, and they had barely time to
reach the station. So Louis did make haste,
threw on his wrappings, kissed us all around,
and was gone. l thought the salute was care
lessly given-then, three minutes afterward,
myself for the idea.
When had watched them out of sight, ] re-
turned to the sitting-room. The fire had burn
ed almost out; solitary lamp stood on the ia
BILE, and shed sickly CLEAN over the remains
of breakfast; felt very chilly and disconsolate.
In compliance with Louis's advice, and my own
sense of what was best, had determined to be
busy, and by steady occupation keep up cheer
full frame of mind. So 1 mended the fire, and
took out my sewing-but somehow the stitches
could grow indistinct the tears ,oOuLd run down
my checks in spite of the best will in the world
to keep them back. | was fain to retreat to
my own room, and give up to my sorrow. !
smile at all this now; it seems so childish, so
trivial a grief, compared with what / had after.
ward to endure.
The day wore on in some fashion, know
not how; and other days, as long and lonely,
followed it. All ordinary employments and di-
versions ceased to interest me; it seemed as if
the hours never would pass till the desired Tues
day, when | was to hear from him. He had
arranged to write weekly-not love-letters. We
had an uncomfortable sense of duplicity in keep
ing our engagement secret though well aware
that my parents objections were to certain cir
not to Louis, and consoling our
selves with belief that the deceit was harm
ess. But clandestine correspondence involv-
ed a course of concealment so systematic, that
We both revolted from it.
TO BE CONTINUED.
"The decline of Quakerism in Boston" is
. subject of marked comment in some of our