The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1855-11-19

A Victim of wirth fuIn G SIS.
CONFIDENTIAL DISCLOSURES OF AN OLD NJ!

Avictim of wirthfuIness.
! CONFIDENTIAL DISCLOSURES OF AN OLD MAID
may safely say that the organ Of mirth-
fulness has been the cause OF most of the
misfortunes of my life. While still small
child, exhibited the propensity of laughing
at anything which struck me as being ludic-
rous, no matter where, when or how it was
AT one time, went to funeral with nv
mother. II was the funeral of young lady
who was very much beloved, and of course
lamented. Every one was in tears, when, on
turning toward window,I saw two men
sitting side by side, one of whom was noted
Tor his length of nose, the other because he
had none. 1t was too much for r. risibles
II choked, coughed, and sneezed-but it
would not do laugh must, and laugh did.
Suddenly shadow fell across my eyes, and
heshy protuberance, resembling a barbed
nook, travelled some distance across my nose,
and heard these words pronounced in my
ear
"Child, you may be the next victim to the
fell Destroyer
This completed my overthrow, and my
mother shaking me violently bv the shoulder.
took me home, declaring that ne yer should
80 anywhere again till knew how to behave
myself.
When | went to school, the same fate fol-
lowed me. received more reprimands and
more punishments than any other six pupils.
| Once, when my teacher had been scolding me
and was just prououncing pardon, looked
up, and perceived the remains of pinch of
snuff adherlng to the end Of his nose. Then
alas woe was me that day.
When our committee came into school. |
was always watching my masters great feet
ana hands, and the awkward way he had of
rolling his eyes and hanging out his tongue !;
and many are the whippings | received over
the schools back iaug hed my way from
glrihood to maidenhood. AT length there
came time to me, as there comes to all,
when was in love.
Edward Payson was youth whom any la
dy might be proud to love. He was gentle
and kind, and for a time was able 10 control
my laughing genius while with him. Nv pa
rents really hoped that had begun to i'm
prove.
One evening he was unusually sober, I'm
usually gay. lie wished to converse ssberly;
would not, and tried to prevent him from
dong so. The more sober and grave he be-
came, the higher my spirits rose, till at
length was above the earth-the clouds
dancing about in the broad expanse of air.
icoptu iTom one hir Castle TO another. till
at length my lover, tired, and no doubt dis
gusted, said
Amelia," he said, in husky voice, ~
had hoped that you were the one TO control
my destiny, one who would be nv companion
through life's thick maze--a friend-a wife.
But see my mistake. ] am friendless and
alone, and must remain so. Forgive me for
thinking to tame your wild, free spirit
Farewell; hereafter we must meet only as
friends.''
was amazed hunderstruck-b he was
gone. often met him afterwards, but he
was reserved, and | was always CAV and tri-
vial IN his presence. Oh, woman thou art an
enigma. When thou seemest most CAV thou
feelest most deeply When thou lowest most
thou seemest to scornl
"Amella, have an idea in my head,n said
he.
" Don't ii feel funny % said / which so
frightened the poor man, that he was unable
TO finish In like manner have stopped two
other confessions Thus you see that nv
propensity for making fun has made me what
| ana lonely old maid. have not mourn
ed my flesh off, on account of it. however.
but on the contrary, | have s'laughed and
grown fat"
But still, if some machine could be in
vented to keep my countenance while listen
to another declaration, would be most hap
ry TO receive both the machine and the de-
claration.