The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-12-05

the defendant to follow any profession"
He has been professor ever since hav
known him.
professor Of WHAT"
sOf religion"
you don't understand me, Mr.. Parks
what does he do?''
Generally what he pleases.'
'"Tcll the jury, Mr.. Parks, what the defend
ant follows"
Gentlemen of the jury. the defendant fol
lows the crowd when they go in to drink"
Mr.. Parks: This Kind Of preraricatioD vii
not do here. Now state how this defendan
supports himself"
Il saw him lastnight support himselfagains
a lamp post
MAY it please your honor, this witness has
shown disposition TO trifie with the court"
Judge.-"Mr. Parks, state. if you know any
thing about it, what the defendants occupa-
ton is.'
Occupation, did you say"
Counsel.-"Yes, what is bis occupation2"
eff | amt mistaken, he occupies garnet
somewhere in town"
That's all Mr.. Parks
Cross examined AR Parks, understood
you to say that the defendant is professor of
religion. Does his practice correspond with
his profession?'
II never heard of any correspondence or let
tiers passing between Them
gu said something about his propensity
for drinking-does he drink hard?'
mo. think be drinks as easy as any man
ever saw
Zone more question, Mr.. Parks. You have
known the defendant long time; what are his
habits--loose or otherwise?"
The one he's got on now, think, is rather
tight under the arms, and too short wasted for
the fashion,
'You can take your seat. Mr. Parks
The following conversation is given by good
authority, literally as it occurred, emitting the
oaths and excepting the names. The parties
were the principal in an important government
office and one OF his sureties, who had become
somewhat alarmed at the developments of the
week, and who thus addressed the incumbent:
See here, Cucumber, this will never do; by /
-, You must either attend to that office YOUR
sell, or else put some one there that will; we
cant have such things as that going on; we'll
all be drawn under.''
"My-, colonel, have got one of the best
men in the city at the head OF that Office
"Have you! who is hep
who, Wintergreen, Mr.. Wintergreen; don't
you know him?" +
mo- don't; who is hep
"Wintergreen! You don't know Mr. Winter 6
green! He is relative of mine, and has lived il
here long time; he's an old citizen.'' Il
swell, but is he qualified for the place." a a
fQuafed! He is the best man for the place
in the whole city. l don't know of any one tt
would putin his place. Qualified! Why bless II
your soul, colonel, he used to be bar keeper on
the old steamer Illinosr' G
The colonel asked no more questions after +
this elincher, and turned away satisfied as to la
what is regarded the "best qualification for :
our officers by Douglas and the present admin j
istration ISt. Louis Rem. :
Lamartine has beautifully said: II look up +
on my country as do upon Deity; owe her K
every thing and can claim nothing A noble liz
sentiment, spoken by noble advocate of free ~
dom and a. sincere lover of his country! What :.
American heart does not respond to the senti- Ct
ment? Demagogues talk abou, their claims &c
upon the country, as if the country was in o
debt to them Little, indeed, is the soul of that
man who can entertain such pitifu ideas of his a A.
There is a woman in Iowa so homely that ge
hey won't allow her to travel on the railroad un
or fear she will brighten the locomotives. She ee
$ the natural parent of that interesting youth sn,
who insisted the first time he peeped into cur
ookng glass, that his father had brought home fy.
! cuba young bear-"cause he seed it in the Wi
hest" 9th
At an association dinner, debate arose as e,n
. the benefit OF whipping in bringing up chill sh
lren. Old doctor Morse took the affirmative. j
Ills opponent, young minister, whose re-
utaton for yeracty was not very high, affirm St.
d that parents often did harm to their children
y punishment, from not knowing the facts of
he case. 2
why" said he, "the only time my father -.
'hipped me was for telling the truth'' ,;
''Well, " retorted the doctor, sit cured you con
idn't it9'' stvl
Exit Young minister hat in hand .bad ny be {
ent business to attend to- ana
a farmer speaking Of the qualities and good -
dueatIon of his son. relating how many books non
e had read through-how many schools he lenG
ad attended, and great heaps O them kinder ~ht
lings Yes said his neghbor, he is like NJ
reatc calf have, which sucks the milk from onn
lree cows--the more milk he gets, the greater the
alf he Isl ask
A western paper, in speaking Of one Of the the
eWiy elected senators. says his ignorance is ,ion
dense that the auger of common sense will ON
longer In boring through it, than it would trat
Ike boiled carrot to bore through mount 'hei
lane. Guess that's a hopeless case. AND an
Inc ioIloWlng advertisement under the head kan
Wife wanted is in Batesville, Ark all
per: ANY gal what's got bed. coffee tan al.
= and /, el,;,la, lna,,s l. -, ~ ~. -. L:.1 of il
can make 4 hunting shirt, and knows how tra1
take care OF chlldfen, can nave my services tain
aIf death parts both of us. cen
"Sambo, what's yer up to nowa-days?" sea
e40 ~ oarnantr "a ;:n.r, J, ing
He! guess yerisl What department does tan
u perform, Sambo9'' dat
4What department? I does de circular bill
ork" cou
whats dat?" W.T.
why, turns de grindstone." and
The man who climbed a freshly peeled pop six
pole forty feet long and drew the pole after iten
N, Is now engaged in The .menayerie'' On - -.
e levee to ride switch tail horse -chesnut p l