Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1855-10-08
A vIcTIM OF MIRTHruLyEss.


CONFIDENTIAL Disclosures OF AN OLD MAID
may safely say that the organ Of mirtb-
tulness has been the cause Of most Of the mis-
fortunes Of my life. While stin a small
child, exhibited the propensity of laugh
ing AT anything which struck me as being
iuaicrous, no matter where, when or how
it was. srfr 4. .sf sl------ - -0"
Al one time, went to a funeral with my
mother. Ii was the funeral of a young la5y
WHO was very much beloved, and of course la
me livery one was in tears, when, on
turning toward a window, saw two men sit
uhs side by side, one Of whom was noted for
MS length OF nose, the other because he had
none. 1t was too much for my risibles-I
ehoked coughed, and sneezed--but it would
not de- laugh must, and langh did Sud.
denly shadow fell across my eyes. and a
heshy protuberance, resembling barbed
hook, travelled some distsRee across my nose
and heard these words pronounced in MY
ear
Child, you may be the next victim 10 the
fell destroyer 90
This oOmplsted my overthrow, and my
mether, shaking me violently by the shout.
ders, took me home, declaring that I meyer
should 90 anywhere again till knew how 20
behave myself
When went 10 school. the same fate fol-
lowed me. received more rep-imapds ard
more punIshments "a a any other six pupils.
IN ;e, when my teacher had been scolding me.
a-d was just pronouncing pardon, 1 looked up,
and perceived the remains of a pinch of ,nuff
adhering to the end of his nose Then. alas!
woe was me that day. --
When oN committee came iuto school. I
was always watching my masters great hands
AMI feet, aid tie awkward way be had of
roiiing his eyes and hanging out bis tongue;
ana many are the whlppings L received over
the schools back. L laughed my way from
girlhoOd TO maidenhoOd At length there came
| time to me, as there comes to all, when L
was in love.
Edward PaysOn was youth whom any lady
might be proud to love. He was gentle and
kind, and for time L was able 70 control NV
laughing gen u while with him. Nv pa
rents really hoped that had begun to i'm
prove.
One evening he was unusually sober. 1 un
usually gay. He wished to converse soberly:
would not, and tried to prevent him from
doing so. Ths mere sober and grave he ba-
came, the higher my spirits rose, till at length
was above the esTth-the clouds dancing
about in the broad expanse of air I leaped
from one airy castle TO another, til at length
s3id " ' '' ~ U'NO'' ''s17'eo'
:. Amelia, ne said, in husky voice. {: I
had hoped that y0u were the ore 70 control NV
destihiesi one who would be my companion
through ife's thick mage friend wife.
4 Dut SEE my mistake. l. am frieudless and
| alone, and must remain SC. Forgive me fr
hinking TO tame your wild, free spirit. You
have said it is useless. L believe il Fare
| Wen; hereafter we meet but as friends %
l L Was samazed--thunderstruck he Was
gone. often met him afterwards, bat ne was
reserved, and was always gay and trivial IN
/ hIs presence. Oh, woman, thou att an enigmaI
"hen thou feeicst most deeply, thou sae1n..t
| most gay. When thou lowest most thou seem
est 70 scorni
Then came another lover lieht-hesded as
myself He was always joking always CAV
fsopie sad " What matchi;' and looked
upon the thing as settled. One evening he
| came TO me with very solemn couItepsnee.
and said: w.
Amelia, / have an idea in nv head y
|" Don't it feel funny" said L: which so
frightened the poor man. that he was unable
TO finish. In like manner have stopped two
other confessions. Thus you see that NV pro.
pensity for making fun has made me what I
ana lonely old maid. L have not mourned
my hesh off on account of it, however, but
on the con ray, have laughed and grown
fat e-O"i
But still, if some machine could be invent
ed 70 keep my countenance while L listen to
another declaration, L would be most happv
70 receive botA the machine and the doclars-
tiou -