True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1855-12-05
CAN WoMEN KEEP A SECRET.
OR now MR.. PoDKINs GOT HIS COAT MENDED

'Pshaw ! woman keep secret! Who
even knew one TO keep anything twenty
four hours T.
That's libel upon the sex, Mr., Pod
kins--invented, I'll be bound, BY some
thrice rejected bachelor, who could think
of no other mode of revenge. Let any
body put secret in my possession, and
if | can't keep it till the day of judgement
then wasn't christened Laura, that's all.
Guess I'll try you sometime, and Pod.
kins applied a match 10 his segar ant
walked out.
Proceeding to con(eciioner's he pur'
chased mammoth sugar heart and two
smaller ones. This he took 10 his shop
and cut piece Of shingle the exact size
of the larger heart, and placed the wood
en- counterfeit in paper with the small
ones, that the packages might look a:
near alike as possible.
| Nearly tea time Podkins entered The
sitting room where Laura and her frient
Mary were busy plying their needles
Seating himself near by, he drew from
his coat pocket two small bundles, ant
presenting one 10 each of the gills, rcmar'
ked that he had contemplated making
them some presents, but hoped as an es
pecial favor TO himself that they woult
not tell each other what the paper con
tained. Laura and Mary promised ODE
.dience, q, the came time casting uneasy
glances at the mysterious gifts.
Remember the first who breaks he
promise will forfeit her claim 10 the It'll
of secret'keeper, and mend my coat b.
way of a penalty added Podkins, risin
to exhibit more fully most sorrowfu
looking garment so 'tattered and torn,
that tailor would have been puzzled t
decide what was its original shape.
The girls considered themselves saC
concerning the coat, and chided the veal
er for being so sceptical in regard to thei
ability to keep secret. Curiosity wa
only half satisfied, however, after ascer
tanning that Podkins' generosity had bes
towed heart. 1t was not long ere til
donor overheard Mary and Laura in III
kitchen, teasing one another TO reveal b
sign, at least, the forbidden fruit.
., But each stood her ground wonderful
and Podkins feared his coat would renal
tattered. The girls sleeping apartmel
was contiguous 10 the one occupied b
!, Podkins and his friend Barlow.
As only thin partition separated II
rooms, it was easy to hear ordinary col
versa,ion from one to the other witho
the folly of listening. The two men wei
snugly ensconced in bed, when Mar
3 and Laura entered the adjoining bedroom
The door had scarcely been closed wht
the former exclaimed.
=, 'Now, Laura, do tell me what was
Il your paper. 1t looked just like min
and I verify believe it is the same thin
t, | shall not sleep wink tonight if "
It don't. Come, do tell, that's good gil
It and then l will tell you what was
mine
}. 'Well,' replied Laura, 'there were tv
s sugar hearts in mine
And there was only one in mine, sa
l Mary, in disappointed tone.
d At this point respectable portion
e the bolster went into Barlow's mou
!, while Podkins took refuge beneath I
c bedclothes, to smother his laughter
best he might.
!. AT breakfast the next morning, viii
Laura was pouring out the coffee, Pc
d kins, turning toward Barlow, said We
/. gravely:
well, there were two sugar hearts
q mine.'
o And there WIS only one in mine, r,
ponded Barlow, so exactly imitati
8 Mary's tone that she Gancied herself spt
s king.
6 The coffee pot dropped to great &C
}. fusion Of sundry cups and saucers, a
e then came burst of laughter from /
: four that fairly made the dishes dance.
!. i will take that coat after breakfast,
g you please, Mr. Podkins,' said Laul
9 quietly, after the mirlh had somewl
: subsided.