The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1855-05-20

daus and which he was anxious to settle that they might
bring him in something. He had large and increasing
family and abundance Of nephews and nieccs, so that
everybody for hundred miles round called him UNCLE
SAM
Uncle Sam was in the MAN, good of man though
like most of his neghbors he had sufficient outfit of
queer notions whimwhams and what not which he called
ism and which furnished pretty fair offset to his many
good qualities He was moreover, somewhat credulous-so
much So indeed that cunning rascal Of politician in the
nelgnporhood offered bet that he could make Uncle
Sam believe the made Of green cheese and would
some day rain about his in shower of shippers He
actually won the wager; but Uncle Sam soon after dis
covered he had been imposed upon and took the first OPP
portunity of cudgelling the rogue.
The good was moreover subject to fits OF various
kinds that often upon him very suddenly and during
which he cut all sorts Of ouandsh capers Sometimes it
fit Of piety, which seized him with such violence
that the doctors misook it for epilepsy at others though
in general he did mind taking glass with old
quaintance he would all Of sudden get huge maggot
in his BRAIN break all the glasses in his cupboard throw
the bottles out Of the window and save in all his cider
barrels by way Of setting good example to his neigh
borsnay he once went FER to cut down all his apple
trees because he shrewdly sad if there apples
there would be no cider.
In this way sometimes in succession and sometimes all
at once he constantly running muck against
body, or something of which he had made huge bug
bear and against which he waged after the Indian
fashion, sparing neither nor age and discriminating
without mercy 1t strange Uncle Sam, though
in the main SOBER goodnatnred fellow, when the mag
got began bite his He would kick up his heels and
snort like wild horse of the prares cut and slash right
and left helterskelte without parng anybody and rant
and roar make speeches and lectures to all who had
patience to listen to him. When the fit over he would
rub his eyes, about like awakened from dream
and ask what the matter and what all this hnbbub
about In short it WAS common saying that
mortal lost his in such hurry, recovered
them so soon as our particular friend Uncle SAM
As said before, Uncle Sam had O numerous and grow
ing family some Of them mighty clever fellows others
no better than they should be- aud others great deal
worse shall not trouble myself and my readers with
particular notice Of the Of the children but coDne my
biographical sketch to his youngest and naesake
who just is making more noise in the world than all
the rest Of them put together.
When or where Ss,nss be Is called for shortntss~
born is exactly known and as, according to his
accepation he knows nothing is believed his education
was very much neglected. and that though naturally
cunning knave he is ignorant of almost everything useful
His childhood and early youth is enveopcd in great OBJ
security, was his existence known to the neghbors till
within few years past 1t is rumored however, that he
was from his birth afflicted with such weak eyes that he
could not bear the light and was never seen abroad
in the daytime. Where he spent his time no one
could tell but he was sometimes caught glimpse of
by notwithstanding about in the woods, and on
those occasions would sneak away of sight
could tell where Some said be crept into old hollow
tree others that he hid himself under ground and
old coon-hunte who to be sure rather nearsiyhted
swore he him change into great toad stool In this
wise he passed his youth in profound obscurty No one
had enough OF him to know him when they him
again and not one dreamed that this mysterious night
walker would ever do than pass for ghost and
brighten coon-huners.
have said that Uncle Sam had large tracts of wild
lands which he anxious SETTLE and accordingly be
invited people from all quarters by offering them at the
cheapest rate and sometimes almost for nothing In this
way--in so short time that it seemed almost miracu
lous-the forests cut down. the fields cultivated the
hnrvests multiplied and the Scriptures say the wilder
ness bossomed like the Uncle Sam, who about this
time happened to have long interval between his fits
delighted to his plan taking effect and his prosperity
at such rate. But it often happens that what
believes the most fortunate circumstance Of his life
out the most dsastrous and just about this time
young Sam emerged it werc into daylightor rather
/ should say began to make himself heard, if seem
for his roarngs like those of the lion hid in the path
less forest Every heard but nobody could tell ex-
actly where they came from.
The hotel varlet pretended that he sole heir to all
Uncle Sans lands and that his unnatural father do
ing all he could to disinherit him. He went about at
night for he made his appearance by day, and al
ways vanished at the
bis wrongs and accusing Uncle SAM not only Of design
rob him of his heritage but to make him sort bond
man 10 those whom he bestowed them mol cditcnt
with this like other cats Of the sor he put the
mask OF piety, and pretended that the church in
dangeror no had it from the very best authority that the
new tenants whom Uncle Sam had sold his wild lands
were plotting to turn him and his friends neck and heels
ont Of the meeting house Now, although almost every
body said and everybody believed Sam had
the inside of church in his life at least by daylight and
that he had never put plough into the urrow yet did
good many people from pity because they bad
Just then nothing else to DO and wanted little stirring
up and others because they bore good will unclc
Sam--all these say, joined in the hue and cry with
Young Sam, and that never father treated
dutful son in such an unnatural manner
In this way-lke of your waschfnl ours who dis
turb the neighborhood by barking all night though they
sleep all daySam managed to kick up terrible dust out
of nothing and great many of the neghbor against
his honest old father who, except when in OF his h
was as harmless old codger would wish to
Of summer day In doing this, Sam had great adj
vantage for as nobody knew him by sight he could
mix among all Of people and pretend 10 be one Of
them II he got among sober people he professed NOR
sn,ipathy all sorts of spirits except the spiritual
Knockers If among pous deyoees he perfect saint
and among aboonsts he denounced the Bible as be-
hind the spirit Of the age and swore must have IAN
constitution an-savery Bible, and
anti-savery Cod In the North he hand and glove
with the rascas who denounced the constitution and The
Union, while in the South he passed himself Oft as the
champion OF State rights and the Embodiment Of the only
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