The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1855-10-24
Collecting for Newspapers.

OOA~OS S->~9 49, ~ - ~
Some fellow collector for Sout
Carolina paper, and other periodical'
{ lately threw up his commission, an
sent back the unpaid accounts wit
I" notes which the Spirit happened t
to lay hold on, and they were presente,
in a tangible shape to the world. A
they are living pictures met with her
and elsewhere, we make extracts. Th
collector says:
Editor Of the Herald Of Trutt-Sir
You furnished me, you may recollect
with list of one hundred and seventeen
owing subscribers. L have called upor
one hundred and four of them, and hav,
the honor of paying over to your order
three dollars and twelve and one-halt
cents, being the amount to which you
are entitled. I return you the list mum
bered one to one hundred and sixteen
and now give you the reply of each
No. lis minister. He says in
the first place he never got one-half Of
the numbers, lie, according to the
postmaster,) and in the next place, your
joker's column was too sourrilous. Be-
sides, he knows by the tone of your edi-
torial that you drink. He wants moth
ing more to do with you-nover wants
to hear from you again.
No. 2-Is in Jail for debt. He has
not seen half dollar for year. Says
he would pay with the utmost cheerful
ness, if he had the money, but had to bor-
row shirt to put on last Sunday
Admires your paper wonderfully, and
hopes you will continue sending it to him.
He wishes you to take bold stand in
favor of the abolition of Imprisonment
for debt, as he thinks it would be a very
popular move with gentlemen in his sit
uation. Sends his best respects
No. 3-Ts young doctor. Says
your paper is beneath the notice of gen
tlomen. Wouldn't give a-for
cart load. Says you inserted an article
rejecting on the profession. Only wish
es he could catch you here-would make
you smell. Is going to pursuade eve
ry body that takes your paper to stop it.
Cussed your bill and says you may col
lect it the best way you can.
No. is an old maid. Says you
are always taking fling at single ladies
of an uncertain age. Wouldn't pay you
if she was rolling in wealth, and you
hadn't cash enough to buy a crust of
bread. Sent all the papers she had
back month ago and says now she has
sent them back she don't owe you any
hing. Says she is even with you, and |
intends to keep so until the day of Judg-
nent.
No. SIS gambler. Says he got
cleaned out last week at the
aces. Couldn't accomodate his grand
mother with half dime if she was star
ing. Likes your paper tolerably-
Fould like it better if you published
nore races, and occasionally give an ac-
cunt of cock fight, Hopes you won't
hink hard of him for not paying you
ow-but has got prospect of soon
aving some loose change as he is after
rich young greenhorn who arrived here
ast week. Will pay your bill out of
he pluckings.
No. els an old drunkard. Hasn't
OF anything, and never expects to have.
athered up all the papers he had, and
Did them for half pint of rum, to the
oggery-keeper, to wrap groceries in.
No. 6-Is a magistrate Swore he
ever owed you cent, and told me 1
as low rascal for trying to swindlie
I'M in snch a barefaced manner. Ad- :.
sed me to make tracks in little less
an no time or he would get out war
mt against me as common cheat, and
we me sent to prison. Is by all odds l.
e meanest man have seen yet. Ney- Il
will go near him again. .
No. SIS a policeman. Says al =
ough you profess to publish neutral :
per, it is not so. Thinks he has seen r
nsiderable squirting towards the side i.
is opposed to. ~
The Collector concludes, with +" ac- q,
pit my resignation, and strikes me
IN the list of agents. I have been
lied swindler, rascal, villain, blood w
,ker. Those are some of the names So
~ think proper to bestow upon me- de-
tried fighting a while, and thrashed ty
ne of your patrons like blazes, but oc- iu
'lonally / got licked like thunder my be