Lynchburg daily Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1852-1861, 1855-06-09

smoke ''stubs" like the news boys:") pin cush-
| ions stuffed SO hard they would turn the point of
marline spike; watch cases just big enough To
hold three cent piece: pen wipers that ill the
point OF pen full of WOOL and divers other non
sensica inconveniences fabricated by specializing
females, the patterns being always short. and the
/ stitches very long. Il suppose they think we don't
know the diffrrence) To- palm off on the victim
/ lied gentlemen: aud they resignedly submit TO a
/ price cxorbitunt that If Chaiafn street lsrae
lite had the Impotence {, ask H. they'd straight
out his fshhook nose like darnng needle.
The prettiost looking girls are always placed
where the least attractive looking merchandise i
displayed and they ask the biggest kind ofprices
trusting 10 the gallnutry of the gentlemen mot to
bent them down." hattcring themselves, sup
pose. TINT their pretty looks "yaluc received
for the exchange. one consequence Of this ar.
rangement is, that every buyer spends all the
money he has in his purse taking in exchange
therefor lot of staff utterly useless and 81 II
dienlously absurd, that after having it on his ia.
bic for n week or 50 to laugh at he il fam to get
rid Of the rubbish by giving the whole 10 his
chnmbermnid. Sometimes your purchases will
hold together till you leave the room, and some
times not; but you must show yourself nun, ana
equal to either fortune
There was post Office; pretty girl called me;
had n letter for me bought it; paid ten cents;
nothing in it-blnnk. SoIicitous young lady We
ry anxious TO have me give her % cents 10 tell
me how much weighed; paid her the money,
and she told me within 81 IL pounds; young
woman wanted me to invest in the ''grab.bag,'
gave half dollar and Gshed in, got in three times
trying. tin whistle, half stick Of candy, and a
pen nut done up in tissue paper
Went on to tho auction table, where after much
competition with u rnglcted miss (who was put
there to make Peter Funk bids against probable
purchasers succeeded in bidding in China vase
which soon discovered had hole in the bottom
and wouldn't hold winter any more than 1t would
bike pork. If had bought it any where else, |
should have thought had been swiudled, aud
have demanded my money back;buthere suppos
ed il was an eNrmpliGCaun of some newly dis
covered principle of fair dealing, with which
WIS not acquainted. Was much amused with the
way they disposed of goods--certain number OF
articles lthings left at the tables tended by
hehomely girls and Cor eacE article twenty tick
ct were put into hat, whence they we're drawn
oni singly. and the last tickets drawn were 10
have the prizes; should have thought it was the
same rs lottery, if | had not been acquainted
with the Indie, and known they wouldn't do any
thing naughty.
Game to place where an old lady, with steel
spectacle, was cutting up IA loaf Of cake INTO
particularly small pieces: asked what 1t meant
was told there was "A gold ring some where in the
cake. aud the, proposed to sell each piece for II
quarter Of dollar and give the ring trthc lucky
buyer: wondered Il it wasn't another lottery on
a small scale, bat supposed il couldn't he, went
II The supper room. II j. curions mrtr"polit m
fact Tint nj parties. tails, or wherever refresh
mcnt tab Is spread, every man seems Ia regard
it h- usi duty to iiIl hjm.clfto the very mouth
with all the "drlrHcics of the season." aud tn nc
compli-h it in the least time possible, as if he
was gun and anxious to ascertain his cahhrc
and 6nd out INV quickly be could he loaded ia
ease Of necessity. And the ladies' are not far be
hind: this evening | learned how much lady
caa eat, in charitable cou-r;a pale faced, haf
roam belle is n modern Sphinx, ga>lronnmic
problem, whose solution will probably never be
satisfactorily cNruuulod.
lndor The impression that shr would not oat
more than had money tn pay for, inylteda
hdv t. take some rrtJr-hmcnts and | certainly
thnk that, like the Couutrvman, she Imagined
that she was bound to eat all the bill oi-fare call
"a for She ntc strwrd oysters, fried oysters
boiled turkey with oyster sauce, celery oysters
ON the shell, ice cronuI, sponge cake and Char
lotle Russo, Roman punch, two water ices, coffee.
sandwiches, cold sausage, lobster. salad, oysters
broied. also stcwcd again, and six on the shell,
Grunge Jelly, grape ditto, cake; she then limited
again at oysters, but rs the supply had run out
she was obliged to Z" hungry; pad the bill with
certified check uu the Merchants Bank which
luckily covered the amount. and greatly rehey-
ed my mind for feared there would be n bal
anee which | would hive to give my nnte for.
llhNlnS lltNN'N~N lINtVi'h WV hi'i'''H "
quircd for my FRIEND | Immediately left; got
home, and proceeded 10 examine my purchases,
found that the slippers having been pasted to.
gether without the sightcst regard 10 permanen-
ey. had come apart in my pocket; nay comforter
hndrayrlrl out-siN inches comlorterhnd wad
Of yarn hiEcn'ugh to make n horse blanket; my
dressing goNa had been Md" Of II moth eaten
remnant aud where there any sewing every
stitch was rs long railroad, but the sleeves
had, | verify believe been put in with court Plas-
ter, and the long seams closed with carpenters
glue.
Nude upmy mind that the objects of that feminine
institution, " Ladies' Fair" are somewhat as
follows: firstly to give the ladies an opportunity
to show their new clothes, and la talk with mul
titude of unknown gentlemen without any pre-
lMinary introduction; secondly, to beg as much
money as possible from the gentlemen aforesaid,
unless the transparent formality of bargain and
sale includes the "bUyer,' who is really the only
article fairly :" sold" in the whole collection;
thirdly, to give some money to the ostentaliously
poor il there is any left after paying the eHpen-
and the committe don't spend it in carriage
hire.
q. X. PlIILANDFR DOESTlCKS, = b.
THE VIRGINIAM