The Placer herald., 1855-11-03
Oddities.

A lawyer being asked by Judge "for
whom he was concerned" replied, 81 am
concerned, your honor, for the plaintiff, but
am employed for the defendant.
"How dreadfully that sugar SMELLS" ex-
claimed some one the other day, "why it
is an awful smelling thing" "Oh. no; it is
not the sugar that smells" said another.
"What is it then, something smells dread
fully!" "Why it is your nose," was the re-
ply. "What do you suppose noses are made
for!"
A person asked his physician if tobacco
was injurious to the brain. NO" replied he
''for no one, who has any brains uses it,
BILL" said little boy, give me a bite
of your apple and I'll show YOU my sore toe"
Bill did it, for such an exchange could not
be resisted.
Elder, will you have drink of cider"
was asked of an old temperance man. 'Oh
--hum-no thank you," said the old man,
II never drink any liquor, especially cider,
but if you'll call it apple juice | reckon I'll
take drop
10 guard against burglars, give the baby
green apples. 1t will be sure to haloa all
night and keep everybody up in the house.
About the year 1855, the Legislature of
Pennsylvania passed a law that no member Of
the house shouM attend the session Jarefooted,
or eat bread and cheese on the steps.
In a medical work published in 1000 there
is the following cure for toothache-"With
An iron nail, raise and cut the gum until it
bleeds. and let some of the blood stick on
the nail. Then drive it into wooden beam
up to the head, and you shall never have the
toothache again in your life"
Mrs. Partington SAYS it is curious provi-
sion of nature that hens never lay plentitully
when eggs are dear, but always do SO when
they are cheap.
"My SON." said an old turbaned Turk
pointing to an American who was in the
streets of Constantinople, my son, if you
ever forget God and forsake religion, you
may come to look like that
A bachelor remarked that even the best
wives were like the enemy spoken of in the
parable. They sored rAREs achHe the hus-
bandmen slept.
1t is a great piece of toolishness to set a
tub out of doors to catch soft water when it
is raining hard.
A moving sermon being preached in a
country church, all were much excited except
one man, who, being asked why he was not
as Interested as the rest, remarked, "Oh.
belong to another parish"
A college student was recently joking a
young man of his acquaintance for learning
the shoemaker's trade, telling him his ''aoorks
nere alwoys trampled under FOOT" when the
young shoemaker replied-"And yet we are
the sole promoters of your understanding" !"
Can any one say why it is considered i'm
polite for gentleman to 60 in the presence Of
ladies in their shirt sleeves, while it is con-
sidered correct for ladies themselves to ap-
pear before gentlemen without any sleeves at
all! We merely ask for information.
A chap who was caught in the water
wheel Of grist mill, and had the good for
tune to escape with no other damage than a
slight ducking, says he means to apply for a
pension, on the ground that he is suruivor
of the repolution.
A discontented man was perpetualy in the
habit of reminding his second rib what an
excellent manager his first wife was. Out Of
all patience, she one day comforted him with
the remark that no one regretted her death
moro than she did.
A barrister observed to learned brother
in court, than the wearing Of whiskers was
unprofessional. "Rght," responded hi:
friend, "a lawyer cannot be too bare-taced.
A genius has invented spy glass of won
derful power. He says he looked through
it at third cousin, and it brought him rela
lively nearer than any of his brothevs.
A sailor, who had hired violin PLAYER tc
perform him some airs, on being asked wha,
tune he preferred, replied: Neptune, yor
lubber!"iT , Hoa
A young gent in Schenectady, suffering
from strong sensation of the more tende