The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1855-06-28
ITEMS FROM CAIRO-BY NOSE.
CAIRO, ILL.,, June IS. 1885.

pose really of iuundating Cairo-bur under
the silly pretext that its waters render their
neighborhood unhealthy. The fast sailing fish
ing smack Hoodad has arrived, and brings in
formation that these men have actually COM
menced carrying their threat into execution.
The city was Immediately thrown into the
widest confusion, by this news, and in less
than two minutes tweaty odd thousand cit
liens had collected in a barbers shop, with
their coats off, determined to punish the of
tenders in the most summary manner
Whilst Bill Dougherty was making one of
the most inhammatory speeches we ever list
ened to, messenger arrived on an OK cart,
bearing requisition from the Governor for
forty-fve thousand men TO prevent further
outrage. The speaker attempted to read
the paper, but couldn't, whereupon one of
the editors of the Times glanced over it..
and explained in Greek. The explanation
was received with the most uproarious shout
ing. Thirty-nne thousand of the assem-
blage volunteered their services. The City
Council Immediately met, and unhesitatingly
appropriated three dollars out of the SLATE
treasury. to wage the war to successful
termination. Gen. Faxon, of the Cairo Del
ia, mounted blind mule, and the Mayor of
the city furnishing him with brick to carry
in his hat, he sat out to drum up volunteers.
companied by six thousand brave and trust
worthy warriors, all well armed with mawls
and hatchets. These, with the other yolun-
teers, were deemed sufficient for the service
TUESDAY, June %.
LATER.-This morning nine thousand
Germans, under the command of Fritz Knoles,
proffered their services, but were rejected,
on the ground that "Dutchmen don't know
how to fight United States fight"
The army is organized. Gen. Faxon has
been chosen Captain, James Kennedy, Lieu
tenant and Mart ToOhar, Purser. Immediate
Iy after this organization a man came gallop-
ing Into the crowd on dray, perfectly livid
with rage, and announced that in the woods
near the aforesaid dry branch, one of the
teeth with an axe and a blind bride. This
messenger was Frank Rawlings, present
member of the Legislature, and late editor OF
the Cairo Sun. The announcement created
unparalleled confusion. Twenty three
thousand men, including an editor of the
Times, took the fever and ague on the ground
and had to go home, whilst the remaining
twenty two thousand armed themselves from
and sweat hearts squalling like juvenile claps
of thunder, the while, to keep them from go,
ing to war. 1t is said that on more than one
occasion sixty odd women were seen cling
| ing about Lieutenant Kennedy, entreating
him in the most p;teous manner not to 60,
and that like some ancient hero, that we
have no recollection of ever reading or hear
ing about, he gathered two rocks and keep
them at bay.
A pile of nine hundred women has been
discovered in front the "Shamrock House,
into which the army have commenced digging.
with the hope of finding Mart Foohar, the
purser.
STILL LATER.-The soldiers are armed and
gone. Unable to secure a a1agon, and pant
ing for war-they started OIL foot, rolling in
advance of them, four hundred barrels o.
Deans best whisky.
LATER STILL.-A solitary horseman, d.
rect from the Dry Branch region, arrived il
town this morning. He reports that just Out
of sight of Cairo he counted four hundred
barrels of whisky with the bungs out, several
thousand men and surprising quantity o
brick, lying among the weeds-the men evi
IDENTIFY in an unnatural sleep! A little neare
town, under luxurant growth of"James
town." he perceived two objects in recum
bent position, which he at first supposed t.
be two mules, but which, on closer inspec
ton proved to be a blind mule and Gen
Faxon, editor of the Delta! The town is il
a perfect uproar! From almost every house
and howell 60 up the cries of distracted women
who are fancying themselves lonely widows
or bereaved sweet-hearts. 1t is awful to be
lieve that our army, "lhe flower of Cairo, ha
met the enemy SO near at hand, and all 60
Slelced, but the Information may be correct
If SO, am disappointed, for like another dis
tinguiShed ,Driter, | believed the "boys woul'
! have good time of it, soon return to thei
families and sweet-hearts, crowned will
laures, not died in blood, and sound in wint
and lmbs.' More, if needed.