Smyrna times., 1855-06-13

discovered, ftis the'nerves alone that need the
tinkering. A whole host of very common dis
eases, with very comNon names-things which
it were shame that Fashion should be plagued
with in common with the chimney-sweeP-are
NOW elevated to the classical dignity of a niche
in the temple Of Neuralgia. Rheumatism loses
half its tortures by the novel christening, and
young. ladies can actually enjoy the &" neural
gic" twitching a back molar. Neuropathy
is the famed science bound to work wonders
Crowds. night after night, filled one of the lar
gest lecture-rooms in the city of Boston, to lis
ten to the marvels of the new doctrine, as set
forth by one of the doctors. "Cure the nerves.
aud the machine will work like charm,"
spoke to an enraptured audience; the eloquent
land money-rnaking professor; and delightfully."-
lucid was the plan laid down to "doctor up"
those nanghty nerves. The galvanic battery
was the right hand man of the professor--the
magician's wand the harlequin's sceptre The
one pole of the battery must be placed by the
learned operator to the lower extremities,
whilst the other must find a resting place on
head, in order to complete a perfect chain of
understanding. Thus magnetic telegrap PHI
in miniature, uniting points almost strangers-s
brought into most beautiful action, whilst along
the entire line are sent messages from Health,
Long Life & Co., with particular address for
each particular point -. ~ H...f,"
But short time ago, one of these harlequins
who work miracles, canvassed the country with
his never failing /" e-exhaust-cups," /" pump.
ing y back lost-sigbt to those who have never,
and probably neper will see These wonder
fnl "eye-p pumps" aCorked to a charm. with
those who were blind, and who knew nothing
Of the physiological laws of sight. OF "mod-
ern humhugs," we pronounce this as No. l
1t is not, however, in one circumscribed
walk, that we must expect to find beaming the
new lights of modern charlantism. All the
avenues BY which the public ear can be played
on to the benefit of interest, are gloriously full
of adventures of all shades of character.
The doctrine that " the heights Of know
ledge" are rugged and steep, that :. Castaia'S
fount " is sealed, save to the thrstipg scholar,
is becoming rapidly exploded. band of da-
ring pioneers has contracted to run an ipclined
plain upon the one whilst every upstart dashes,
with perfect impunity, his literary dipper into
the other. The :" short and easy" spell has
thrown its magic o'er the foreign tongues and
hence, French, Italian, Hebrew, and what not,
of Six Lessons - ...-. ....
While critic wits their brazen lustre shed
On golden authors whom they never read;
With parrot praise Of Roman grandeur speak,
And, in bad English, euogizc The Greek.n
Accomplishments - are voted the order of
the day. Accomplishments are to constitute
the wealth of the maid, instead of old fashioned
industry. frugality and common sense. The
ambitious mother blesaes her fortunate stars at
every bead her daughter tells-in crochet
work and happily believes that her English
education is complete when her tender jaws
French! Milton (blind man) thought " one
tongue for woman was enough" Now, taste
decrees.-ahd, in many saloons the fiat is abso-
Iufe--that woman, bidding long farewell to all
the nursery, should bid adou to her mother
tongue, and lay her dells and her English, both
Qua of j6int,,on the shelf. I trust that we are
not to owe France any obligations. Barter
and welcome, your cottons with her soft silks
but exchange not the shining virtues of the
tongue, in which Shakespeare and Miltor
/, "burned and sang for the effeminate, poverty
struck graces of language which is lacking
J in all the thrilling, clustering associations tha
> cling around the word HONE! ,-l ltl a.5Uei
: a We proud, ambitious, wealthy, young and gay
Who drink the spirit of the golden day, sf1
!, And triumph in existence, come with ME,
: : And in your mould'ring corpse your picture
see "a,
Y What YOU, and all, must sooner or later be.''