Volcano weekly ledger., 1855-11-17
A High OLD" Sermon.
lie piaycd on a Harp uv t-h-o-n-s-an
strings

strings"
The Brandon, Miss Register. reports a
sermon purporiing to have been preached at
the town of Waterproofs, not far from Bran
don, which hits Off the sucker parson "to a
dot' 1t hits off that class of ignorant and
hypocritical clerical pretenders, who arc IA
nous for sticking to the text, Sin horn. y
The shepherd in question announced himself
as "Hard-Shell Baptist" and here is an ex-
tract from his discourse:
I'm not a gwine for to tell yer adzadiy
whar my tex may be found; suffice it to say,
its atween ther kiyers of ther Bible, an you'll
find it some place atwix the FIRST chap
ter of Generation and the last book Of Rev
olutions (French?) and if you'll go and
sarch ther scriptures as have sarched them-a,
you'll not only find my tex thar, but great
many other tereseS as will do you good to
read, and my tex, when you shill find it, you
shiIl find it to read thus:
And he playet on a harp Of a t-h-o-a-s-aad
SiriRgs-spcrets 0f Jat men made peyfeck
My tex, breethering, leads me to speak of
sperits For thar's a great many kinds uf
sperits in the world-in the fust place, thar's
the sperits as some folks call ghosts, and then
thar's ther sperits Of turpentiDae, the sperits
NV seventy-sx, and ther sperits what some
folks call licker, and IRE got leetle the best
article NV them sperits here on my hat-boat
that was ever tied up to this ere landin, but
there's great many other kinds NV spirets,
for the tex SELL played upon harp NV
Thousand strings-sperits NV just men
made perfeck"
But I'll tell you the kind nv sperits as is
ment in ther texts FIRE ! That's the kind
NV sperits as is ment in my tex, my breether
ing. Now thar's a great many kinds NV fire
in the world. In the first place, thar's thel
common kind NV fire you light your pipes
with, then thar's camlire, fire before YOU
reddy, fire and fall back, and many other kind:
of fire too tejus tn menshun, for the tex says
He played on harp NV a t-h-o-u-s-and
strings-sperits Of just men made pcrieck.'
But III tel''you the kind NV fire as is ment in
the tex, my brethring-it's HE'LL FIRE an
that's the kind NV fire as a CRATE many Nv you
will cum to- eff you don't do better ner what
you hev been dnn'-for {" He played on a
harp NV Thousand strings-sperits NV just
men made perfeck.'
Now the different sorts Of fire in the world
may be lkened unto the different pershwa-
shuns NV Christians in the world. In the
first place we hey the 'Piscapalians and they
are a high-sailn' and high-falutin' set, anC
may be likened unto a turkey-buzzard thai
flies up into the air, ana here goes mp, and up,
and up, till he looks no bigger than your fin
gernail, and the fust thing you know he comes
down, and down, and is fllen' himself or
the karkiss Of dead hoss, by the side Nv the
road and q" He played on harp NV q
Thousand strings -sperits of just men made
perieck."
And then thar's the Methods, an they may
be likened unto the squirrel, runnin' up into
a tree, for the Methods bleeves in gwine OF
from one degree NV grace tn a nuther. anC
finally on tn porfeckshun, and the squire
goes up, and up, and up, and he jumps from
Inn TO linn and branch to branch an the fIis
thing you know he falls, and down he comes
kerllummix, an that's like the Methods, fol
they is allus q fallin' from grace, a-h,-AnC
" He played on a harp NV t-h-o-u-s-anC
strings-sperits of just men made perfeck."
And then, my breethering thar's the Bap
tist, ah! and they hey been lkened unto a
possum on a 'smmon tree, and the thunder
may roll, and the erth may quake, but thai
possum clings thar STILL And you may
shake one foot loose, and the others thar
and you may shake all the feet loose, an he
laps his tail around the limb, and he clings
and he clings forever for He played on a
harp Nv t-h-o-u-sand strings sperits uf JUS
men made perfect