The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1855-01-10
An Arkansas Invention:
OR how THE GENERAL "soLD" THE Ed

OR now THE GENERAL "soLD" THE EDr
TOR on TIE SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN.
About the commencement Of thC
present decade We had the honor o
being ono of an illustrious trio WIN
originated ard controlled democratic
newspaper, named the Arkansas Trav
cller, published at the hourishing towr
Of Camden, Onachita Co., Ark. We
numbered among our exchanges the
Scientific American, valuable then a,
now. Among our patrons in CamdeI
was one Gen. Tom Woodward, a
shrcwd old gent, full Of anecdotes, al
invetcratc practical joker, good judge
of "ryc," and, TO cap the climax Of hi:
conyivlal accomplishments, was great
on the "Arkansaw Traveller" Ga eel.
ebrated dancing tune with a legend. }
One sultry day in the summer of 80,
the General walked into our printing
office, picked up the Scientific Amcri-
can, and commenced reading the cdi-
tors "Noticc to Inventors" in which
hc offered lis services in the obtaining
Of patents for useful inventions. &c,
After reading it through, the General
requested pens and paper. The sta
tionery was placed before him, and in
a few moments he had written his let
ter, sealed and superscribed it to Mum
Il Co., n. y, and our devil was des~
patched to the post Office with it. We
''smclt mice but said nothing. The
next time the Scientific American
came We eagerly opened it, and there,
sure enough, among the "notices to
correspondents" was the following +:
IT. W., of Camden, Ark.-NIusical
inventions, if Of real benefit, and not
too costly, generally prove lucrative
to the inventor. We cannot inform
yon as to the practibility of obtaining
Il patent, until You send us model,
oran accurate description OF the instru
mcnt."
This paragral Il We read to the Gen
cfal the next time SIC saw him, and for
our pollteness in the matter, he permit
ted US to read his dcscript of the
wonderful instrument previous to its
being despatched to the Scientific
American. ] was as follows:
Dear Sir By your request | will,
as briefly and clearly as can, ,cndcay-
or to describe my new musical mycn>
ion. 1t has very much the appearance,
at first sight, Of case for a huge,
double actiou harp from six to eight
inches square at the smaller end, thence
gradually expanding o fur lectsqnare;
one side perforated with anger holes.
The innel compartments Of the iustru-
mcnt are occupied by swinc-from
the four week. rooster at tie little end,
ranging gradually up to the eight year
I'D grunter-;hc tails Of all protruding
through the before mentioned augcr
holes. The performer stands upon the
outside Of the instrument with a couple
of blacksmith's pincers in his hands; he
has thus full command of the machine,
and a practiccd hand can IAN the
chrOmatlc scale in a most brilliant nan-
ner. You will at once perceive that
my invention is a valuable one. COM
binlng immense volume Of tone with an
almost unlimited power Of expression,
and vast compass-from the shrill So
prano of the infantile porker, down to
the deep" pcldlcr base, " as Mrs. Par
iington expresses it, Of his more aged
ancest ol-thus including ever SO many
octaves. by prolonsing the pinch
the tones can be prolon 5cd indefinitely,
thus doing away with the -Eolan Dolce
Campana, and other attachments, (in>
cluding the shcriilTs.) have not yet
decided whether to call my invcn>
ton the Swinctt " or the Piganna."
Your advice upon this subject together
with your assistance in obtaining pa
tent according to lIoylc," will be
gratefully taken by
Yours truly, Tnos. WOODWARD.
Mum & Co., Eds. Scientific Amer
ican.
The next week sam erican contained
the following paragraph :
" I. W., Camden, Ark.-Yo our de
scription of a new musical Invention
has come to hand. We think it pas
tentable, and on receipt of the usual
fec will endeayor to obtain the usual
patent. We have no doubt but that
YOU can make the invention pay, az it
fills a desideratum which must have
been long felt in the refined locality
of Arkansas. If the aged swine which
forms the base of your - Piganna,"
should, accidentally. not be procurable,
we would recommend the inventor to
fill his place; indeed we know of nc
one more admirably adapted by nature
and education to the position, for in
the whole course of our editorial cx-
periencc VIC were never bothered with
the lucu5rations Of "A more unmitigated
bore"
That last shot prostrated the Gems
eral he treated all hands to water
melons to keep the joke to ourselves.
If any one is disposed to dispute the
authenticity of the above, he can have
his doubts dissipated by enclosing 50,
post paid, to Mum & Co., of the
Scientific American, or to James A.
Warner, Editor Of Young America,
El-Dorado, Ark.
The miracle Of tho appearance Of