The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1855-02-02
CRUMBS FROM THE DUTCHMAN'S
TABIE.


TABLE.
'DON'T WoRRY.-This is the first thing an
editor should get by heart. IL Mr.. Slocum
threatens to withdraw his patronage, because
you criticised Professor Drawrs lecture on
the onion question, don't worry-but tell him
to go ahead and do it. If Mr. Bullion writes
you an insulting letter, saying if you do not
stop writing about the Diddleton Rail Road,
he will ruin you with law sut-don't wor-
ry, but dare him to try it on. If Mr.. Smith
threatens to cave your head in because you
mentioned that his son, Bob was sent TO tho
tombs for peting 4 street lamp with brick
bats-don't worry, but tell him you so love
law that you dine on salad made of red
tape and sealing wax. If Mr.. SILK approaches,
with horse pistol that kicks and offers to
blow your brains out if you ever allude again
to his visits to Mrs. Demures, don't worry
about it, but tell him TO pull lis 'what you
call it, and blaze away. Again we say, never
worry. you do, you are no more calcuat-
ed for an editor than Quaker is for marine
hornpipcs.
Nor So-The London Times says the ar
my on the Crimea, "wants head" We think
it wants one or two heads less There ars
two "Commanders-in.C Chief" Lord Raglan
and Count Canrobert. These gentlemen havo
notions so opposite to each other, that they
can not agree, even about the best mode of
making one horse ditch 1t is this misun-
derstanding which has brought things to
stand still. There should be only one "Com-
mander-in. Chief" in any army. The moment
you have more "heads" than this, that mo-
ment disputation takes place. Disputation
begets dislike, dislike begets Indifference, and
Indifference begcts decentralization, dirty tents,
dysentry, used up soldiers and defeat.
CoUHTERFEITs.-Girls with hollow checks
and full bcsoms. Such kind of things never
come together naturally. Make note, and
don't mistake cotton for plumpncss.
CURE FOR PALPITATION OF THE HEART
Marriage. Other cures have been recommend
ed, but DR.. Francis says this is the only ore
that can be relied on.
The Historical Society, of Delaware, has
decided that the only folks who should bo
called bricks are red headed people. The
press will please notice.
An exchange says that the last thing man
-, 20 Thio 70 n ,,,isf Ia th~
last thing done is to pay printers BILL
The gentleman who rose to pint Of or
der compromised matters by taking quart
of beer.
The less you need patronage the moro yon
will get of it. 1t is only the poor who never
receive presents.
Late dates from Mexico, say that Alvarez
has obtained decisive victory, over tho
forces of Santa Anna In Mexico, decisive
victory means the firing of blank cartridges
for two hours, and then robbing hen-roos:s.
This being the case, the triumph Of Alvarez
will not probably amount 10 any thing ex-
cept slight advance in the price Of poultry.
Great country, that land of ex.presidents.
The slaves of Alabama are raising funds
for the help Of the poor of New York. A
queer idea that isn't it.
Congress has done some little business this
week. Gen. Cass has brought in n resolu-
ton, calling upon the Post Master General
to get up style of mail bag that will float
and resist the action of water in all other re-
spects. The bill to increase the pay Of Judges
and Congressman, has been talked over and
some little progress made with it. 1t tshond
not pass however. Our representatives. already
get more than they would bring in any other
business. On Monday Mike Walsh opened
on Mr.. Chase, and made use Of language that
possessed more wit than deccncy. Mikes
department does but small honor to his
brains.