Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1855-05-11

To kctch his fingers in the tree
Pledges air awlc brcochy cattle
Thct preudeut farmers don't turn OUT
Ez long y the people git their rattle
Wut is there fer IN to grout about
Ez to the slaves, there IS no confusion
In mn ilees consarnin' them,-
think they air an Institution,
A sort of-yes, jest so,-ahem
Do own any Of my merit
On thct pint you yourself may jedge
All is never drink no sperit,
Nor haint never signed no pledge
! Ez to my principles, glory
In hcvin' nothin' % the sort
aint Wig, | aint Tory,
| m jest a candidate, in short
Thet 5 fair an square an parpondclsr,
But Of the Public cares dg
To hev me an thin in particler.
Wy, m a kind o pori-wig
P. 5.
Ez ve re a sort o. privntecrin',
o. course you know, it IS sheer an sheer,
An there is sutthin' wuth your hearin'
II mention in your privit ear
Tf YOU git me inside the White House,
Your head with lie II kin o. mint
| Dv rittin' v,u inside the Lighthouse
Down to tho ecnd o Jaalam Pint
An e1 the North hez took to brustlin'
AT bcin' scrougcd frum off the roost.
II tell We wut II save all tusslin'
An give our side n harnsomc boost,-
Tell 'cm hct on the Slavery question
IN RIGHT, although to speak IN lawth
This gives you safe pint to rest on,
An leaves mo frontin' South by North
land now of cpistes candidatial, which
are of two kinds ds,-namcly, letters of accep-
tance. and letters defntive of position. Our
/ republic on the eve of an election, may safe
w enough be called n republic of letters.
| Epistolary composition becomes then an cpl
demic. which scizes one candidate alter
another, not seldom cutting short the thread
ct political life 1t has come to such pass,
that panty breads less the attacks OF its OPP
ponants than letter from its candidate.
Thus it is that the letter killcth.
| know of nothing in our modern times
which approaches SO nearly to tho ancient
oracle as the letter Of Presidential candi-
date. Nuw among the Greeks, the eating Of
beans was forbidden to all such as had it IN
mind to consult those expert amphiDologlsts,
and this same prohibition on the part OF Py-
thagoras to his disciples is understood to i'm
ply an abstinence from politics, beans having
been used as ballots. That other explication,
guod ratchet SenSUs co c'bo o6tund' eriStiHd-
ret, though supported pugniS ct cdlc'6uS by
many Of the learned, and not wanting the
1!er ie9iiGri 92nGric9te t f%T2 Of %Tc2M England On the
whole. think it safer to apply here the rule
of Interpretation which now generally OBJ
tains in regard to antique cosmogonles,
myths, fables, rroverbial expressions, and
knotty points generally. which is, to lind
common-sense meaning, and then select what
ever can he imagined the most opposite there
to- In this way we arrive at the conclusion,
that the Greeks objected to the questioning
of candidates And very properly, if, as |
conceive, the chief point be not to discover
what person in that position is, or what he
will do, but whether he can be elected. |oS
eronpldr,a GrGcd nocturha rersdtc manu-, TER
safe diurRa.
But since an imitation of the Greeks in
this particular (the asking of questions be-
ing one chief privilege of treemen) is hardly
to be hoped for. and our candidates will an
swer, whether they are questioned or not,
would recommend that these anti-eectionary
dialogues should be carried on by symbols,
as were the diplomatic correspondcnces of the
Scythlans and MacrObii, or confined to the
| language of signs, like the famous interview
/ of Pauurge and GOatsnose. candidate
might then convey a suitable reply to all
committees Of inquiry by closing one eye or
| by presenting them with phial OF Egyptian
/ darkness to be spcculated upon by their res
I pective constituencies. These answers would
/ be susceptible of whatever retrospective con-
struction the exgencies of the political cam
plign might saem to demand, and the candi-
/ date could take his position on either side OF
the fence with entire consistency. Or, If
letters must be written, profitable use might
be made of the Dighton rock hieroglyphic or
the cuneilorm script, every fresh dccipherer
of which is enabled to educea different mean
ing. whereby sculptured stone or two sup
plies us, ami will probably continue to sup
ply posterity, with very vast and various
body of authentic history. For even the
bricfest criste in the ordinary chirography
is dangerous There is scarce any style 50
compressed that superfuous words may not
be detected in it. \ severe critic might cur
tail that famous brevity of Cnsar's by two
thirds drawing his ipen through the supere-
rogatory zen, and ridi. Perhaps, after all
the surcst footing of hope is to be found in
the rapidly increasing tendency to demand
less and less Of qualification IN candidates.
Already have craftsmanship, experience, and
the possessions (nay, the profession, cven,)
Of principles been rejected as superluous,
and may not the patriot, reasonably hope
that the ability TO write will follow At
present, there may be death in pot-hooks as
we'll as pots, the loop Of letter may suffice
for bow-string, and all the dreadful heresies
of Anti-slavery may lurk in flourish II
W.