Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1855-12-26
Pretty Good.

Thomas Holloway, the great pill and
ointment man in London, writes to the
Prairie .Neaos On the subject of advertising.
He says:
" DEAR SIR.-A correspondent of yours
has recommended your paper to, me as an
advertising medium. He mentioned the
circulation, but may have been mistaken
in the amount. Will you kindly inform
me as to the circulation Of your weekly
as wish to make contract with you for
the insertion of my advertisement. am
unlimited in my advertising; my list of
papers is now 1900, and | pay in adj
vance. Yours respectfully.
To which the editor Of the News re-
spends:
VERY DEAR SIR.-The circulation of the
Prairie .He,cs, which has been increasing
with unexampled rapidity for more than
two years, now amounts to .tortyttree,
though | am bound in honor to say that
two of my subscribers being very preca-
rious pay, shall probably cut them off
before this letter reaches you, SO that
you are at liberty to consider the list
reduced to forty-one. TO this number
should be added seven gratis copies, sent
to as many friends Of mine at a distance,
out Of compliment to their interchangeable
exertions in procuring new subscribers.
This number should be further augmented
by permanent exchange list of sixty
FIVE, making in all a constant weekly cir
culation of one hundred and thirteen, be-
sides an average Of half dozen surplus
copies week, which are sent with reli-
gious scrupulosity to postmasters and 9th
er distinguished individuals in benighted
parts Of the world. have good grounds
for estimating my reading patronage at
forty-nine persons per copy. You may
safely calculate that the 5,537 readers Of
my paper would consume on an ave age
ten dollars worth per annum, each, Of
your pills and ointment, particularly the
pills, for cannot promise you an extern
siye sale Of your ointment in this region,
cutaneous diseases being rare, as may be
Inferred from the fact that the foreign
born population Of Mississippi is only one
in sixty-two of the aggregate. So you
perceive [ shall be the means Of opening
a market to you for $55,370 worth Of
the Invaluable remedies which have i'm
mortal-hes- ed your name, on which, after
deducting the cost Of the materials, boxes,
ETC., your profit will be about eighty-five
per cent, or SAT, 064 SO. Upon this
handsome increase Of your profits, accru-
ing through my instrumentality, | pro-
pose to charge the moderate commission
of one per cent, or $473 63. If these
terms do not suit you, come over by the
next steamer, and we'll talk about IT. If
you are satisfied with them, for the first
quarterly instalment Of $117 Sc, be SO
good as to pay for me one years subscrip-
ton to Punch, Diogenes, and The Times, all
Of which are good papers and should be
encouraged, and send me the balance IN
cuttings of the London Particular Made
ira grapevine. Subsequent installmcnts
may be sent, at your option, in Bank OF
England notes, or any sort Of truck e."
cept your medicines. Give my best re-
spects to Queen Victoria, the next time
you see her; tell her she's lady whom !
greatly esteem, and that often think with
what satisfaction, while the disastrous war
is SO thinning the population Of her realms,
she must reflect that she, at least, has
done her duty in the keeping Gift up.
Your obedient servant,
The EDITOR.