Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1855-08-29
MIKE FINCK and THE BULL.

NIKE FTNCK And THE BULL.
The story of Mike Finck and the bul
would make a cynic laugh. Mike took s
notion to 20 in swimming, and he had just 60
his clothes off when he saw Deacon Smiths
bull making at him-the bull was viciou:
animal, and had come near killing two o
three persons--consequently Mike felt rath
"iubus." He didn't want to call for help
for he was naked, and the nearest place
from where assistance could arrive was the
meeting house, which was at the time fllee
with worshippers, among whom was the
"gal Mike was paying his devours to-
So he dodged the bull as the animal came
at him, and managed to catch him by the
tail. He was dragged round till nearly dead
and when he thought he could hold no lon
ger, he made up his mind he had better
"holer." And now we will let him tell biz
own story:
So, looking at the matter in all its bearings
cum to the conclusion that I'd better lei
some one know whar was. So gin 8
yell louder than locomotive whistle, and il
warn't long before | seed the deacon's two
dogs comm down like as if they war seeing
which could get thar fust. | know'd who
they were arter--they'd jiue the bull again
me, / was sartin, for they were orful venom.
Gus, and had spite agin me. So says |,
Old brindle, as ridiu' is as cheap as walkin'
on this route, if you've no objections, Iii
jist take deck passage on that ar back
o'yourn. So | warnt very long getting
astride of him; then, if you'd bin thar you'd
have sworn thar warn't nothin' human, in
that ar mix, the sile flew so orfully as the
critter and Irolled round the field-one dog
on one side aud one on the other, tryin' to
-clinch my feet. kprayed and cussed, and
cussed and prayed, until couldn't tell which
did, at last--and neither warn't of no use,
they were SO orfully mixed up.
Well, reckon rid about half an hour
this way, when old brindle thought it were
time to stop to take in supply of vino,
and cool off a little. So when we got round
to tree that stood thar, he naturally halted.
So sez |, old boy, you'll lose one passenger
sartin. So | jst clum up branch, kalkela-
tin to roost thar till starved afore I'd be
rid round that ar way any longer. war a
making tracks for the top of the tree, when
heard suthn' maxim an orful buzziu'
overhead. kinder looked up, and if thar
warn't--well, thar's no use swearin-but
it war the biggest hornets nest ever blt.
You'll "gin in" now, reckon, Mike, cause
there's no help for you. But IN idee struck
me then that stood heap better chance a
ridin' the bull than whar was. Sez |, old
feller, if you'll hold on, Ill ride to the next
station anyhow, let that be what it will.
So jist dropped aboard him again, and
looked aloft to see what [ had gained by
changin' quarters, and, gentlemen, I'm liar
if thar warn't nigh half bushel Of the stin.
GIN warmints ready to pitch into me when
the word go was gin. Well reckon they
got it, or all hands started for our company.
Some on EN- hit the dogs--about quart
struck me, and the rest charged on brindle.
This time the dogs led off fust, dead bent
for the old deacon's, and as soon as
old brindle and could get under way we
followed, as | was only deck passenger,
and had nothin to do with steerin' the craft i;
| sware, if I had, we should't have run that
channel, any how. But as l said before,
the dogs took the lead--briudle and next,
and the hornets dre'kly after. The dogs
yellin'--brindle bellerin' and the hornets buz-
zin' and stiugin'.
Wei, we had got about two hundred yards
from the house, and the deacon heard US and
cum out. l seed him hold up his hand and
turn white. | reckoned he was prayn' then
for he didn't expect to be called for so soon,
and and it warn't long neither, afore the
whole congregation--men, women and chill
dren cum out, and then all hands went to
yeIlin'. None of 'em had the fust notion
that brindle and | belonged to this world.
iist turned my head and passed the hull
congregation. / seed the run would be up
soon, for brindle couldn't turn an inch from
a fence that stood dead ahead. Well, we
reached that fence, and went ashore, over
the old critters head, landin' on tother side
and lay thar stunned.
It warn't long afore some of 'em as was
not scared cum runnin' to see whar | was ;
for all hands kalkelated that the bull and
belonged together. But when brindle walk.
ed off by himself, they seed how it war; and
one Of 'em said, "Mike Finck has got the
wust of scrummage once in his life?'
Gentlemen, from that day dropped the
courtin' buziness, and never spoke to a gal
since, and when my hunt is up on this
yearth, there won't be any more Fincks, and
its all OWN to Deacon Smiths Brindle Bull.
<&<
A FELLOW coming out Of tavern one icy
morning, rather blue, fell on the door step
Trying to regain bis footing, he remarked,
g II, as the Bible says, the wicked stand on
slippery places, | must belong to different
class, forit is more than | can do"
A .MoDEL HUSBAND" Wife" said a
henpecked husband. ego to bed"
:. "[ won't"
@Well. then, set up; | will be nindedP