Squatter sovereign., 1855-05-08
THE JUDGES BIG SHIRT.

gay and fashionable party, to be given the
| following evening, at the residence of
Judge B. The visiting Judge was
terribly perplexed about clean shirt for
the occasion, and while revolving in his
mind how he should possess himself of the
desired article, Gin those days ready made
shirts were not, as now, articles of mer-
chandise, he was called on at his room by
not Judge.
After passing the usual compliments,
Judge A remarked
"Sce here, c., have just been in
vited to attend party tomorrow night,
and | haven't clean shirt for the OCCASION"
hoping, no doubt, that his friend would
proffer the loan of one of his. But being
a bit of a wag, and relishing a good Joke
amazingly, he concluded TO have a little
fun, and at the same time learn his judicial
friend a lesson concerning his negligent
custom.
co. said he, there's no difficulty about
that. can have you one made
"But do you think it can be finished in
time? said the Judge.
| ''No doubt about If. have a shirt ma
ller who is perfectly prompt and reliable,
and can vouch for its being ready
"All right, then, if you'll be sure and
attend to it"
'You may depend on it. 1t shall be
here by half past six tomorrow evening"
B, on going home that night, cal
led at the lady's, and ordered her to 90 to
the store, get nine yards of bleached cloth
and three yards of linen, and make shirt
of it for Judge A., and deliver it at his
room on the following evening at hall past
SIX precisely, and charging her particular
ly that there was to be no disappointment,
and not to deliver sooner or later than half
past six
''But, Mr.. b" expostulated the wo-
man, ''you mean three shirts, don't you, out
Of nine yards!"
''Do as / tell you, madam Don't YOU
suppose | know what size shirt is required
by my fricnd!''
Early the next morning the cloth was
procured, and the making OF the shirt en-
tered upon.
About six o'clock in the evening, c.,
all attired and ready for the party, called
on the Judge, when he was saIuted on his
entrance with
''See here, that shirt has not been sent
yet"
90" says c., pulling out his watch,
sit is not time yet; it lacks quarter to the
time, for told her to have it here by half
past six"
The couple chatted away awhile, when
presently tinid knock at the door was
heard.
The judge jumped TO open it. when
little girl asked if that was Judge As
room.
"AIl right my nice little mss" and the
Judge began TO prepare for donning the
much coveted garment, remarking-
SIT is well made and handsomely done
up. too. Smart woman, that Mrs. c.
80, yes; l knew she would not disap-
point you in any respect"
BY this time the Judge had commenced
pulling it over him He pulled and pulled,
as yard after yard passed, and still his
head was enveloped in the shirt. He conn
planned of It's size, but his friend told him
he had got it twisted, but TO hurry it on, as
twas time they were at the party.
Again he set himself to the task, and by
hard struggling got through, finding HIM
self enslrouded in a shirt five yards long
and four yards broad, covering the floor
with It's ample drapery.
'In Gods name" said the Judge, In as
tonishment, ''what is this the woman has
sent mes" looking with CONSERVATION upon
the monstrous shirt around and beneath
him. "What is it. saysr
It was with much difficulty that c.
could restrain his laughter, but approach
ing his enshirted friend, and pulling the
huge collar down so that he could see his
face, be gazcd with apparent wonder. and
Observed
"What silly, stupid woman. I told
her TO get just enough TO make three
shirts; instead Of making three, she has
| put the whole nine yards into one shirt
But we must hurry up and make the best
| Of bad bargain, for it is high time we
were at the party this minute. You can
push ii down your trousers, and nobody
viii be the wiser"