Butte record., 1855-11-24
San FRANcIsco, Nov 20, 1888.

SAN FRAScIsco, Nov 20, 1875.
Mr.. EDIroR:-You don't know me
Of course therefore, for the lack Of
d third party. permit me, in the most
obsrqui-u5 manner, and by way Of pre-
lace, to introduce myself Ny name, for
short, is Jingles but with the prefix at
tach it is July Jingles Now permit
me, Mr. Editor, Mr. jingles. l trust,
}Ir. Editor, that the pleasure afforded
me BY dis acquaintance will prove rccip-
rocal.
You are married man, Mr.. Editor
don't sly it-of course You are. see
it in that unruhled brow and smiling
pAiz, with the additional accompaniment
OF an imm culato d:ckey-hey what's
that; baby cryias-a proof impression
Of yourself, Ell an editor in pocket
form. How I envy You.
Unfortunately for the Improvement Of
the human race, I belong to that large
md in, ffcctivo class IF .orlorn individuals
o are doomed for an uncertain period
to fri,;er and fume, like lump Of fat in
hot skillet; sleep on one horse bod>
ste. ds and wear buttonlcss shi Is But
that is not to the point MY Yet, I
woull marry, but where is the gal of
course they are plonly-but not fashion
ed in form, or moulded in mind, in that
distinct particular that the poet speaks
Of They are to cap'icious, whimsical
and variable as a weather indicator-too
naughty, proud ike and ovcrbearing.- .-
WY it was only the other day, that a
VIII. in Happy Valley presented her le-
-sl lord with three children at one birth
Only to think olit--happy valley indeed,
after a triplieate delivery Ike that
three babies at one birth-goodncss era-
ciaus me these juvenile stroyors Of
roll crackers and hot wa,er-thinl Of
It yc embryo husbands, and make note
Of it.
am already shaken IN ny first re-
solve IreIent, fllter, woekcn I'll not
marry. Ayauoi yc visions of baby
jumpers, two horse snoozers, swaddling
linen, and self feeding baby appliances :;
get thee to nursery, for wise men
know what fools you would make Of them
I'll walk awhile sin4ly aud alone, but
that's not to the pointmy OBJ Still
that Is no index that Mis-. Jingl-s would
prove so prolific, and how can [ forget
that airil ble--she couldn't have been
anything elsc-and fascinating creature
in lose trail was yesterday, with
form Ike one Of the grac's, and SO neat
ly attired | know [ should have liked
her, could l have seen her face. She
had stern look that pleased me much,
but then, don't the provoking, perplczing
and tantaliz NJ little vixens use all man
ner of deception AID cunning, to whee-
die rs innoceuts into double harness for
life To be sure they do. Don't they
cobble up all their little blemishes and
mperfec,ions Of character and disposi-
tion, smooth the unevenness of their tenn
per, as they do their rumpled linen,
hitch dad weights to all their faults.
folli,s, foiblrs and fancies. OF COZ Sc
they do. just listen to the exquisite
tones of their syrup like voices, before
m rriage, and vi at do they say-they
are not in want of any tling-oh, no =
except the parsons certificate. But let
them once grasp that instrument Of tor.
ture, that destroyer of mans rights,
which uniles hearts as patent cement
does broken tea-pots, and with about
the same results, as yoa have only to
give them the necessary jlr to discover
their lack of tone and souhdncss- and
whew presto, don't their wants multi
ply though, then if the male partner in
the household furniture don't want to
create a riot in the Home Department.
he must acquiesce in al ol tue imagina-
ry Ills and wants that the sealing wax
Of bis If ctions is heir to- Refuse will
hc-let him have the hardlhood to do it
and his happiness takes eagle wings
her mildncss and yiyacity disappear his
spriehtlin S vanishts, smil,s give way
to fcowns she mopes and drops like
honey-suckle in an April shower, and
lounges dro~sily round the premises like
a dysprptic with an indigcs, ,ioe dump
ling in the stomach. But this Is not to
ths point 'ay- Though, l must be
permitted to say there would be fewer
oil maids, ma'rimoui,ly speaking, if.
marriaeaable women would doF all dis