Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-03-03
4 sketch from Life.

The following life sketch is written by
lady correspondent of the New York
Mirror Perhaps some of our readers
may have seen the original:
Mrs. Perkins is lady of ample
dimensions, aad always carries wicker
basket with two handles, and large
brown parasol, She generally favors you
with hrr company al the most inconven-
lent times; as when the servant girl has
left you, and ihe parlor fire isn't lighted
vet, and YOU are quilting in the back
basement and lave set your eldest hope,
JeIusha Ann, to washing the breakfast
things@
"As a necessary consequence, that in
teresting ceremony has been prolonged
for the space Of three hours and quarter.
Mrs. p. thinks she will stay when You
ask her; and mentions incidentally, as she
takes Of her bonnet, that she likes roast
goose and apple sarse, better than any
Thing else Almost and also lhat 'she new
/ er reishes her dinner without pie
"While you are absent, preparing those
articles Of food, she takes the opportunity
of examining the texture OF liulc Tommy's
clothing; and surveying your pantry, TO
see if MIR. Smith is good provldev.'
When you return, she inquiries whether
YOU don't find Mr.. S. taking his dinner
downtown make him very dissipated; and
when YOU blush at the insinuation, shc
shakes her head, and says she thought
so.'
"During the afternoon she eniertains
vou with an account of an illness, from
which her lor:y-second cousin has just
recovered, and the remedies which DR..
Jalap prescribed on the occasion; and as
the clock suikes Eve, says she really
must 60.
Tea being on the table, c,and Mr.. Smith
Just come home, you endeavor to per
suade her 10 remain until the conclusion
of that meal; but no entrealics will pre-
( vail, and she departs, having borrowed a
shawl, pair Of overshoes, and an UNI
brela, as il has begun 10 rain, and accept
I ed Mr., Smiths proiIered escort,
g.. "Hours pass on, and Mr.. Smith does
not return. You picture to yourself va
. rous accidents, by land and water, in
d which Mr.. Saith figures conspicuousIy,
q and hauen your nose against the window
panes, until lhat useful and ornamental
feature is of pale lilac color.
"At length, about ten o'clock, Mr.. s..
arrives, and you hear from that nearly
starved and completely frozen gentleman,
an account of his adventures.
First, they took the wrong stage, and
went two miles out of their way, and
when they took the right one, they drove
past the street where they should have
stopped; and then Mrs. Perkins discov-
cred that she had left her brown parasol
behind her, and Mr.. Smith had to pursue
the stage several blocks to recover that
useful article. And the driver was SO
enraged at being obliged 10 stop, that ho
descended from the box and offered to
fight Mr.. Smith, and was only deferred
from exhibiting his pugllistic skill by the
arrival OF all intoxicated policeman, who
appeared TO consider il his duty 10 arrest,
not only Mr. Smith, but also an old lady
passenger, who good naturedIy endeavor-
ed TO explain matters, by stating That
there gentleman warn't doing nothing bu,
asking Tor his wjfe's numberiI.'
"Rescued from This dilemma, Mrs.
Perkins had 10 be extracted from bank
Of mud, in which, by some unsccounlable
accident, she had become firmly fastened
during his absence; and when she arrv-
ed al her own resldence,it was a long time
before she could make her folks hear the
bell, which she remembered, after Jerking
ineH Heclualy for nearly an hour, was 'ipok
off for TO be mended' And then she de-
aned MIR. s. ten minutes longer, for the
( purpose Of sending message TO yourself.
To the effect that she would try and get
round next week So you drink your
cold tea, and eat yOnr cold nlunins, and
lay awake all night with little Tommy,
who, from some unaccountabIe reason, is
excessively sick.
"Yon discover, next morning. howev.
et, that Mrs. Perkins has kindly bestowed
three hard green apples upon tina, interest.
: ing infant, whose illness is no louger a
mystery. And, 20 crown sll,Mrs. Brown
mutual friend, informs you soon after.
that Mrs. Perkins has said to her, that OF
all the Ihnftless housekeepers. )ou were
the worst, and lhalGhs no longer wonders
Nr. Smiill IS such dlssipaled creature
Ny dearest Arabsller,
You've heen in nay heart dweIIer,
Aud # catch you talking TO another ieller
IN pick up broom OF umberellcr,
And lnt YOU on the smeIler,
And make you bellrr.