Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1855-05-05
ou mi LIAR PER ANNUM, INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE
wet and slippery deck, had | not sprung to his

1
tage of my humanity, and while | was engross-
ed by my good offices, struck it from my hand,
and launched it in the water, an eighth of o
mile distant, whirling it over and over in its
triumph In spite of this misfortune, 1 could
scarcely restrain my laughter at his ridiculous
appearance. The dirt upon the deck, had of
course, adhered to- and the water saturated
every part of him that had come in contact
with it, which included every prominent por-
tion of his system, and his hat which had come
violently in collision with beam, was ludicrous-
ly curtailed of its fair proportions by the con-
densing jam.
We'll, hif this ere hisn't," said he, doIefully
lifting either arm successivey, and surveying
| himself before and behind" 'Ows'ever, I'm
very much hobleeged to We, for 'elPn' me- mis-
ter. Oh, my, vot state am hin !"
Some servants of the boat had by this time
removed his luggage to place it under shelter
and [ followed him into the cabin, wherein
bright Lehigh fire, in tall Motifs stove, COM
municated a gratifying warmth to my half tor
pid frame. My cockney friend speedily disap-
peared behind the berth-curtains with a ira
Yelling bag and joined me after short time
with his sorry appearance materially renovated
and improved.
| Hare you VERY sure this ere capns
careful man Y' he asked, as we seated ourselves
| by table in conversation Tas a mortal
| 'orror o. these ere steam vessels acause the
cap'inS hin this ERE country is so very went
| erSome"
| assured him that he had no cause of fear,
and all went well until we reached Newport,
where it had been concluded by the officers to
| lie, at least until after midnight, as the storm
was too violent to excuse venture round Point
Judith. The laundering sound which accom-
panies the blowing off of the steam made our
cockney start to his feet and turn wofully pale,
as he family gasped, "Oh, N.Y. vots to pay now?
Isn't We blowin' up ?" and justified his previous
admission of the fear which he entertained
My explanations Gained his perturbation, and
we recommended our conversation, which lasted
until until bedtime in the course of which |
| learned that his name was John Todsley, of the
Strand, London, haberdasher on tour of
pleasure in the United States
| Bidding him adieu for the night, turned
in" to my berth, which was in the middle range,
and directly abreast of the stove After an
examination of his number and search among
the berths, my friend Todsley found his two
and-a-half-by-six receptacle to be directly be-
meath my own. With remark, intended to
be very facetious, upon the fates which brought
US together, he divested himself of his coat on
| ly, donned white night-cap, and clumsily laid
| himself down. He was not destined, however,
| to obtain repose so easily A moment or two
! brought the steward and brace of servants to
his side
Hello my friend" +" cried the steward, "you
must rouse out !"
Ivy, vot's to pay ?" cried TodsIey, thrust
ing the night-cap out of the bed with his head
in it,
Come out, and I'll tell you," replied the
steward
"Vell now, this 'eres VERY unreasonable
conduct, sir to disturb gemmen harter 'e's
laid down, hand give no hexplanation vot hits
for-werry, hindeed shan't do no such thing,
sir !" and thereupon Todsley pulled in his night
cap, and placed his head on the pillow in extreme
Indignation.
At this answer, servant held up to his Wis
ion, a framed pacard, to the effect that Gentle
men are requested not to get into their berths
with their boots on"
Look at this, and / guess you'll know
what you must get out for, )" cried the steward.
Again the night-cap was protruded 1--WE
read that ere, sir, an it hain't nothin' to do
With me, hany ow, acause wears shoes !" and
Todsley thrust out one leg, to the extremity of
which, covered, indeed, by a shoe, he appealed
in proof of his exemption from the requisition
of the placard A laugh from the neighborng
berths, which greeted his reply, somewhat yex-
ed the steward who seized the offending Shoes
and pulled them off without consulting Mr.
| Todsley's views upon such summary conduct
! Todsley offered no resistance, however, and
contented himself, after the retirement Of his
tormentors, by muttering himself to sleep.
| L nt hot of hp
know not, by the preparations for departure.
The disturbing sounds had evidently alarmed
Todsley, for faint "Oh, my |" frequently is
sued from his berth, and now and then the
white night-cap bobbed up, as its owner took a
survey of the premises. The ringing of the
bell and splash of the wheels, in starting dis
composed him sufficiently to make him leap to
the floor, but finding all still in the cabin, he
turned in" again. There was no sleeping
more The increased rolling of the boat herald
ed our approach to the Point !; and finally, the
guards were plunged in the water with every
fierce wave, while the timbers creaked ominous-
ly. Todsley was evidently growing desperate
with fear. The nght-cap bobbed out and bob
bed in again every two minutes, and l heard
him talking to himself all the time. although
| could not distinguish what he said At length
desperate lurch threw several seepers from
their berths, on the opposite side, and terrified
all. ! started up, and as | was about to de-
seend to the floor, second careening proved
too violent for the gravity of the tall stove,
which slid along some feet towards us, all
glowing hot as it was, and then was falling di-
rectly upon us Todsley had got well out,
with the exception of one leg /; and with more
self-possesson than | should have given him
credit for, he grasped the poker which lay by
him, and thrusting it against the stove, using
his leg for brace, unheld it by main force
Then his terror found free vent,
/ lilo ERE Elm ,elnl w doesn't We come!