Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1855-10-12
The Shirt.C ollar and Garter.



TRANSLATED IRON THE DANISH,
There was once n dandy. whose goods and
chattels consisted of a bootjack and n hair
brush but he had the smartest shrt-collar
in the world. The shrt-collar had grown 40
old that he now began to think of marrying,
when he happened to find himself in the same
washtub with garter.
Mercy on us y cried the shirt-collr,
never saw anything elim, dainty, 90 de
licntn or 50 elegant before. May | make so
bold rs to ask your name =
I shall not tell YOU said the garter.
Where do you live = inquired the shirt
collar
But tho garter was by nature rather shy,
and did not know how to answer.
I suppose YOU are n belt. said the shirt
collar. a belt to fasten some under clothes.
| see that YOU serve for use, as we'll as for
show my little lady
You must not spenk to me- said the gar
ter am sure have not given you any
encouragement to do So
When one is pretty as you are, said the
shirt-collar, is not that encouragement
enough I
Get awav-do not come so near me- said
the garter. You seem to be quite like n
man
L am fine gentleman sure enough said
the shirt collar. possess o bootjack and
hair-brush.
This was not true, for it was his master
who owned these things. But he was a
boaster.
Don't come so near me, said the garter
I'm not accustomed to such behavior
Ridiculous prudery y said the shirt
collar.
And then they were taken out of the wash
tub, and stretched. and hung over chair in
the sunshine after which they were laid on
the ironing board. And now came the glow
ing hat-iron.
Mistress widow. said the shirt collar
little mistress widow, feel very warm.
AIN quite metamorphosed-my creases are all
smoothed down. You are burning a hole in
me Oh, dear offer myself for your ac-
ceptance.
You. YOU ragamuffin y said the nat-ron,
as she drove proudly over the shirt-collar for
she imagined herself to be q steam engine
that rolls over II railway, and draws car
riagcs. So she called him ragamufhn.
The edge Of the shirt-collar was somewhat
frayed So the scissors were in request to cut
it smooth.
'Oh = said the shirt collar, you ae GER
tainy frst-rate dancer. | never saw any
thing 50 elegant in my life No human be-
ing could initiate you
: should think not said the scissors.
You would deserve to be q countess, said
the shirt-collar. My only worldly possess
sons consist of dandy, bootjack, and a
irizzng- comb. | wish had a country to lay
at your feet
! wi hat, is he wooing me, for.ooth . said
the scissors, who waxed indignant, and gave
! such violent sni p that the shirt collar was
in fair way to be cashicred
Then must make a proposal to the hair
brush thought the shirt-collar. What re-
markahly beautiful hair you have, my little
missy Have you ever thought of becoming
engaged =
You may well imagine that have thought
| about It, answered the hair-brush for am
/ engaged to the bootjack.
Engaged = cried the shirt collar. There
was now nobody left whom he could WOO,
therefore he pretended to despise courtships
/ in general.
\ long time after, the shrt-collar lay in a
bag at the paper mill. There was a large
rompany of rags; the fine ones and coars sc
ones herding together respectively, as it was
proper they should. They had all a grea,
deal to relate. hut especially the shirt-collar
who was Il mighty boaster.
| have had so many sweethearts,' sale
the shirt-collar they left me no pace o
nv life. But it must be confessed that | wa;
a very fine gentleman, and a very stiff one
too. | had IL bootjack and hair brush tha
never used. You should have seen me il
those days, when lay on one side | shal
never forgot my first love. She was girdle
50 dainty, 50 soft and so elegant and sh
flung herself into q wash-tub for my sake
There was widow, too, who was CLOWN,
with love for me but would not have her
and she grew black with fretting. Thel
there was tirst-rate dancer who gave M
the wound | now suffer from; for she wa
such "A passionate creature My own hair
brush was in love with me, and lost all he
hair with grief at my coldness Yes, hav
gone through great many adventures of th
same sort hut what | am most sorry for, i
the garter-l mean the girdle, who threw
herself into the wash-tub. | have q deal upol
my conscience
The conceited boaster stopped short q
these words, for the machine cut him JUS
then into u thousand pieces.
What pity that conceited old bachelor
who brag just like the shirt collar, of con
quests they never made. could not, like it
be made mnce-meat Of in the midst of thei
Dragging,