The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1855-11-15

he preached sermon, and then another. and
another, until he felt himself fairly mounted
and in the saddle. Once there, he rode the
ministry after the manner of the Old Man of
the Mountain the unfortunate Sinbad the Sailor
They had insisted on his getting into the sad
die, and then the spurs were in their TANKS in
an instant.
he made the old fathers feel they were not
only outshone, but that they had changed places
entirely with the people whom they came to ex.
hort and denounce for their SHORTCOMINGS. II
was they themselves who were being done for.
Brother Softandsweet did not scruple to cali
them dead weights;" and if they held back
IN doing his bidding, he lighted down from the
pulpit, before all the congregation, his denunci-
atoms. "Curse We, Meroz Curse We bitterly
the inhabitants thereof because they came not
to the help of the Lord, to the help of the Lord
against the mighty" He had, too, famous
sermon from the text "Mene, meme, tekel
upharsin," which left no one at a loss how it
was applied, nor as to those who being weighed
were found wanting. Sober minded brethren
were astounded. And, when the feast was over,
he 6e ever failed to have secured an invitation
from some weak broieess-.; or strong minded sis
ter, to make visit to the principal Ss. town,
or city, where he never failed at once to "get ub
a revlval." The minister Of the church might be
ever so averse, ever so clear sighted as to con.
sequences; he was compelled to turn yolun-
teer; and if there were deacons and others who
were not to be dragooned, he raised hornets
nest about their ears. From the very pulpits
they had erected, in churches they had built,
IN presence of people who had been accustomed
TO recognise them as members of standing
and influence" they heard themselves publish
ed the "Achans in the camp" dumb dogs
loving to slumber." They were usually COM
PEELED to silence by the wonderful conversions
that followed Brother Softandsweets labors :;
and comforted themselves with the good done,
though the hundreds now slain as Of old, were
SLAIN by the jaw-bone Of an ass. But it was
hard, very hard, for such men to find themselves
no longer IN advanced position and place, but
SO many ciphers all in row by themselves
10 the young converts-and these were count
ed by ftties and hundreds-all this WAS delight
ful. They were carried by the preachers elo-
quence up to the heights Of Zion, and called to
look down upon the Valley Of Dry Bones.
Without being able to put their thoughts into
expression, Shakespeare has fttingly described
their feelings when Hamlet says,
Let it work:
For tbs the sport 10 have the engineer
Hoist with his own petard."
After enduring this buffeting while, the
brethren would seek to know the antecedents
OF this ministering brother; and, at no great
length of time, letters full OF Details and fearful
reasons for his sudden appearance among them
without credentials Of any sort, would be receiv-
ed. Now, for this Brother Softandsweet was
we'll prepared He knew the sequences likely
to happen. And when the brethren began
to be seen whispering to each other about the
Westinghouse steps, or Sister Lovemind wore
q daiQfto1 air nd
and such-like infallible signs were visible, then
Brother SOftandsweet felt it was time to I'M
mask his batteries. This he did the next time
he assembled the pulpit, and his usual text upon
such occasions was this Il have fought a
good fight, | have finished my course, and / am
ready to be offered up." He then bravey told
the story they had gone so far to get; and it
was never stinted in the narration, but height
ened and exaggerated in all its details And
then the way he prayed for his prosecutors, the
delicate illusions he made to Paul, showed to
all present that he, too, was not a whit behind
the chiefest of the apostles.
Then came the tears Of sorrow to leave those
fer whom he was ready to die In all this, the
tones We're rich with heavenly JUNCTION; and
tones and tears were there which required not
only great dramatic skill, but brow of brass
and a heart of adamant. In all these this
brother was perfect. The heads of the meet
ing found themselves tasked on all hands as
calumniators, the cambrics of the young ladies
were wet to saturation and, had Brother Soft
andsweet taken to the stage instead of the pull
pit, such success would have been described in
the morning papers, as "deluging the theatre,
filling the pit with tears, and compelling the
musicians to climb upon the stage to escape
being drowned"
1t was never-failing triumph to the min
istering BROTHER" who agreed to capitulate, and
was bought off by letters of some sort to dis
tant conference, where new triumphs awaited
him.
AT the time of the visit Of our party, he had
risen on the crest of wave Of triumph, which
bore him back once more upon the city of Van
lty Fair. He had reappeared, not as a pen-
tent, but as an everything elder, ready to COM
pei submission from all who had once denounc.
ed him, and who now feared being extinguish-
ed in the glories of his superior light.
Are any of our readers weary of this long
DEPRESSION? Let them be glad they have had
It to read, rather than to hear the sermon
preached on this evening; for it was so order
ed, our pilgrims and everybody were doomed to
be disappointed. Brother Softandsweet didn't
preach
Mol he did not preach. The congregation
-''0 DSSh 'eiy PiouSiy lcuueu, Ine uyIluS ndu
been sung with a glorious power of song, old
Brother Crusty's prayer had been responded to
by any amount of interpretations, and emenda-
ions, and amens; and all because Brother
was to preach!
But when the sermon was TO be delivered, |
he orator came forward, and, in tones of touch |
ng tenderness, announced to them the pleas |
Ire which the arrival of dear Brother Sliceum |
rave him, inasmuch as it afforded him the op-
'ortunity of showing to him and to them his |
ugh appreciation of the /" Old War-horse." |
[ ms sobriquet was worn by the reverend gen.
leman as peculiar title of honor. Having
'een thus introduced, the cold War-horse -
anne forward to the pulpit and opened the
Bible. His figure was full, shoulders square;
! broad chest, and a face flushed, like a gladi.
'tor's just come from the slaughter of victims
n a Roman amphitheatre. He presented the
trongest possible contrast to the fnical petit
aaitre grace Of Brother Softandsweet, whose
dice was more than usually feminine and re-
med on this occasion.
For the National Era.