Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1855-05-02
KNOW NoTH1NGs EXPOSED.

The following is Mr.. CauliRower Smiths
experience in looking up them Know
Nothings.' Smiths purpose was to ex-
pose, explode, annihilate the Order. Read
what he says about it -
my first idea was to find Know Moth
ing. | know'd / could do nothing till |
found one, that was sartin. Well | Ca
vorted round considerable, as cute as
'possum, as cunnin' as fox. | ax'd
good many privately if they didn't belong,
and of course, lied considerable in gittiu'
around them. Well, all got out of 'em
was don't kno,c,' so | had to change my
tack. I goes to one Of them who didn't
know nothin' and tell'd him that | was
gittin' tired of the old dimmycratic way
of dom things, and [ intended to with
draw now from popular life, and devote
my declining years to my country. | told
him that | knowed was FAN old sinner,
but | wished to repent in sack-cloth and
ashes, and if he'd only get me into the
Know Nothings, I'd show, by zeal in the
cause, the sincerity of my repentance. He
looked at me right straight for some time,
and then he seemed to think was sincere.
He ax'd me if wanted to jine right of,
and l told him yes. Then he ax'd me to
meet him by the Hospital at 10 o'clock
that night, and he would take me to see
the elephant.
You see how long headed | am, Mr..
Chairman l know'd / could come it
over 'em if only parsevered, and didn't
l do it? He met me at 10 o'clock, and
he took and blind-folded me, for he said
we hadn't fur to go. He told me must
not only know nothin', but | must say
nothin', until the hull was through. We
walked on pretty smart distance,
reckon high on to mile, when he give
he, now look out | felt kind O. queer,
l tell you, for I was goin' it blind alto
gether, but my prospect for Recorder was
at stake, and you may recon it sort o
nerved me up.
"He took me down stairs through a
cellar, then up stairs, and then through
long passageway. Right thar in that
passage-way he told me to give him all
my money. I obeyed him OF course, tho
/ didn't like to part with it. We walked
along the passage till we come to door
when he gave me the signal. 1t was two
raps. The door opened, and thar were
some fellows whispering. Directly q
voice said, bring in the repentin' sinner,
and was led forward. l heard 'em talk
in all around me, and sometimes they
would pinch me. They stripped me STACK
naked, leavin' nary stitch on me but my
stockin's. Do you repent old sinner p
said one to me. Yes, said ], gittin'
down on my knees Whack cum lash
right across my bare hide, maxim me
squirm. Get up said the Teller that
had been talkin' to me, that's no position
for an American citizen Then he give
me two more whacks with the lash, and
put heavier blind-fold around my eyes.
"Then the Know Nothings commenced
singing the Star Spangled Banner while
the guides led me around the room. Some
would tickle me and some pinch me, and
kick me, but stood it all for the sake of
the Dimmycratic party. After they had
rolled me over, striped me with paint and
the lash, and tried my patience complete
ly, they stopped"
Can you keep your tongue still ?"
asked the guide.
eyes, SIR" said l boldly.
Will you know nothin' all your life ?"
Yes sir" l said.
The bandage fell from my eyes" con-
tinued Smith, and saw that / was
Where ~ inquired all.
SIN Deacon Johnson's stable on Canal
street."