True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1855-09-12
soene a. The Tombs,

teeth, whose eyes were oil the color OF an
East River fog, whose lips were got up
without any regard to economy in meat,
whose feet we're SO diminutive the he could
easily turn round in Union park if the
trees we're cut down and the fences taken
away, who was in fact huge darkey man
ufactured on liberal scale at the time
when raw material was cheap, was brought
up for being drunk and going to sleep a.
cross Ludlow st., thus stopping the tide of
navigation through that odOrous through
fare
His dress was in the extreme Of fashion
as set by the aristocratic colored leader 2of
the ton--his pants of the brightest green,
his coat was of the most conspicuous blue,
the vest of the Aashiest crimson, the neck
erchief of the most unmistakeable yellow,
and check shirt adorned with studs,
which might have passed for gold if the
gliding hadn't been rubbed down to the
brass.
The unclcanly nature Of the bed on
which he had seen fit to stretch his weared
limbs had however, done something to wear
the brilliantefect of this gorgeous costume.
The ccrulian coat was not improved by the
gutter mud; the pantaloons had not pres
erved unsullied their pristine brightness
amid the refuse of the market upon which
they had reposed; the remnant of too
ripe peach was on his shirt colora decayei
cabbage had left its imprint upon the res
plendent vest, and from his curly hair pep
pered with the broken shells, emanated
the penetrating fragrance of eggs-eggs,
too, whose departed youth and freshness
had rendered them unfit for culinary pur =
poses.
But amid his troubles, Mr. Vane pr es-
ervcd the dignifsd bearing and Aowery
language of person Of some educational
prctensions; indeed he stated that be was
perpetual president of the Colored Sons
of Genius" an association of kindred con-
genial literary men. His answers to the
questions of the Judge proved that he had
caught an approximative sound if not the
exact sense of many words of larger di-
mensions than are generally in vogue
among men of bis condition and complex
ion.
When brought to the stand he threw
himself upon his scholarly dignity and
launched at the astonished Judge words
of portentous length and sound, as if he
intended to annihilate that estimable per-
sonage by the sheer destructive power of
the English language.
Judgc-What is your name?
Prisoner-with his thumbs in the arm
holes of his veSt,-My cognomen, Sir, is
Virgil Vulcan Vane, Esq.
J.-The officer says you was drunk yes
terday,
P,-I comphatically denies it, it was a
miRerception on the part of that bobnox-
ious person; l know that scalawagious NJ.
P. to be an obitual drinkhard his own
sd& My conduct, Sir, is open as an oys.
ter, and l demands an expatial inscruti.
CATION
Officer-I found him drunk, lying down
N Ludlow st.
p. I iD6gnatly ezpuderate the allo.
geation.
J.--His allegation is probably correct;
did y@ drink any kind of liquor yesterday
Mr.. Vane?
P.-I imbebcd one modest squenchcl
behind the door, sub rsser, on the sly, in
ne corner, without any body seeing, bu
1t wasn't, enough to illtoscate babee, i
wasn't on MY sacrid honest.
J.-Where did you get it?
P.-Discuse me, Sir, if inclined to an
swer that last inquisition you expounded-
| don't want to discriminate myself; no
infurcate the bar tender as accedary befor,
il happened.
J--You must tell, Sir.
P-l can't its encrutinizing to my feel
ings.
J,--lf you don't answcrI shall send 70,
to the cells.
P.-Well, if l must excarfcate my bow
els on confession, and let the pussy out o
the pillow case, I'll do it-but don't thinl
I'll bear it cOnsignedly; I'll complain o
the malcOdminiStration of justice in thi
law shop-I got my whisky, Sir, at HAM
bal Jenk's..on Water street.
il shall fine you So.
P.--Tho cash can't be had; but your
all a set Of the most contemptous vagabon
buses that I ever went anywhere; I'll tel
the Mayor
J.---Never mind now.
MIR. V. was led away in stupcndou
rage.
THE BLOOM OF AGE----A good woma
Il