The Placer herald., 1855-10-27
From the Knickerbockcr.
PhrenOlogical.

Our neighbor, Colonel s., tells capi-
tai story Of a certain wag in Erie, penn.,) a
jolly publican, who contributes good deal to
the life Of that pleasant but sometimes very
obstinate borough. One morning, a travel
ing phrenologist arrived at his inn, and took
lodgings. The next day in the village paper
appeared an advertisement, stating that Pro
fessor B had arrived in Erie, and would
make, "for consideration" examination OF
the heads of the citizens, and accompany the
same with accurate reliable charts of char
acter. For three or four days the calls were
sparse; but on the fifth day, there was a rush
Of five or six to the apartments OF the Pro-
tessor. One morning, a countryman entered
the inn where the phrenologist ''holds out, "
who can tell mans ka-racter by the bumps
onto his skull!' "Yes," answered Boniface,
with reserved and dignifed manner-
oval, want my potato trap looked into a
little. Where is the MANI IL am the man"
said the landlord ''Oh.-you be, ell? Wal,
put in: feel O my Jumps, and Gin us map.
What's the swinde!' There is no swindle,
Sir-phrenology is science, Sir-a EJerol
science "Oh. yes-'Xpect so; but what's
the price for feelin' feller's head?" One
dollar, with chart" "Wal, 90 it, what do
| du!-lie down, or sit up! Does it hurt?"
''Not in the least, Sir: take your seat in that
chair. There were four or five morning
loungers in the tavern, who checked laugh,
as The countryman took his seat, having first,
as requested, removed his coat, vest, and
neck-cloth. The wag Of a landlord ran his
hands through the hair of the 'patient'' for
a moment, and then said to his bartender,
Mr.. FHpkins, take a sheet of paper, draw
four lines down its whole length, and put
down my figures under the heads mention
to YOU" 1t was done. "Have you got it?''
'Yes all right" "Very WE'LL" and the land
lord went on with his examination, which
was rougher, perhaps, than there was any
necessity for. "Philo-progenitivenes Sisty."
"Down, Sir" ''Very we'll: Reverence, twoH
''Booked, sir" "Combativeness taoo hun-
dredE' "What's hat2' said the victim. mo
matter, sir, you'll see it on the chart. Cau-
ton, one: Credulity, four hundred" What's
that last lump" asked the patient. "Never
mind now, you'll understand it by-and-by.
And now Ito the bar-keeper) Mr. Flipkins,
you've put these in separate columns, as
usual?" "Yes, sir" Every well, add 'em
upm add 'em u-u-p-p" exclaimed the
chronological subject" SIS that the way you
do?" "Of c-o-u-r-s-ei How else could we
get your balance of mnd--of intelect?'
"Wal, 90 ahead!'' 'How does it Daboll, Mr..
Flipkins?" "The three columns are equal
they foot up precisely the same!" The land
lord looked solemnly and sympathisingly to-
ward his subject. 1T is very strange said he
''but 1t IS so. Phrenology never lies. You have
no predominant character sir; you have no in
tellectual statues; you don't know any thing
sir. Excuse me, sir, but | must state the
truth, whether you take the chart or not
but, sir, if there is any truth in phrenology
you are add tooll Under the circum-
stances, sir, can scarcely expect you to de-
sire to keep the chart which you have con-
tracted for; that is matter Of small conse-
quence, as it will be a valuable illustration
Of unique species, which I can use in my