davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
Important to Millers.

We feel that scarcely miller in Penn
sylvania has attended to the obligations
of the following act of the Legisla-
ture, which was passed April 10, 1885,
and may be found under the head of In
spections, section 3S, Purdons Digest
1t is due to the purchaser and community
generally, that it should be complied with
Immediately. And as many Of our millers
have some six or eight different brands,
they are liable to heavy penalties for ev-
cry month they continue this old mode of
business.
every miller and bolter Of Flour for
expectation, shall cause his brand mark
as aforesaid to be entered with the Clerk
of the Court Of Quarter Sessions of the
County where he resides, together with
his name and place of residence, under
which he shall have exercised his said en-
ploymcnt, without having made such
entry"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
Plain Talk About Relations.

Relations are perfect curse Happy
is the man who has the fewest of them.
Most of the unhappiness in this world is
owing to relations. IF they are rich and
you are poor, they will see you starve to
death before they will willingly. help you.
If they are poor, and you are rich they
will never let you. alone. Do what you
will, (and that may not be as much as it
should, they are always unsatisfed.-
They never thank you for the least favor
you do them, but receive it as right
If you have official influence, the whole
tribe is down on you from morning to
night, for places where they can get pay
without work. They demand it and they
will have it.
Your wife's relations generally consider
you an intruder into their high circles,
unless you have property, and then they
chuckle with delight at the thought of
being able to come in for the plunder.-
Or else, finding the wife of your bosom
has your chief love, by which they per-
ceive their own influence is diminished
they soon begin to tear her conduct to
pieces, and to pity poor John with his
upstart little wife.
If you want money, relations have new
er any to lend if you lend to them good
bye to it forever. Scandal, jealousy back
biting, and uncharitable constructions
mingle in every discussion and taint eye-
ry transaction.
If you have the misfortune to have an
estate held in trust for you by relative,
you will quickly learn something of the
nature of accounts, and be informed OF
the pressure of hard times! Your income
cut down by fraudulent or unfair charges
for services or commissions, or perhaps
by deductions for some old disputed claim
in the family, with world of good ad-
vice, you receive perhaps five dollars,
when you have unluekily called for cou-
pie of hundred on account Of the last quar-
ter. On the other hand, if you are poor,
and in absolute want, and your own broth
er is millionaire, he will suffer you to
languish for the want of the smallest aid.
There are hundreds of rich parre'aats in
New York who never speak to their re-
lations, and who, in fact are ashamed of
them. We know personally, of teachers,
boarding -house-keepers, seamstresses, SIS
ters, mothers, brothers-we had almost
said children fallen into the most wretch,
ed condition, for want of even the com
monest sympathy and aid from their rel
atives. Fortunately, the law compels pa.
rents to support their children, or few
would do it.
Already the world is crowded with the
forsaken fatherless, and the air is filed
with the wall of distress and the deeE
sighing of the poor, for the alleviation O
whose comfortless troubles, God alone il
sought.
We sometimes think that Providence
has permitted these dreadful evils to exist
to prepare as for the final separation o
families and connections in another world
Very probably. But, in this world, tn
Lord deliver US from our relations IN
Y. Leader.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
What Sam" Means.

Every body has read of the peregina-
tions in this country, recently, of an &C.
centric individual whom the newspapers
denominate "Sam." 1t is evident that
this mysterious parsonage is an indefati-
gable politician, ,and very fond of the polls.
We have been puzzled for long time to
fix his identity-to discover whether he
was Sam Houston, Uncle Sam, or some
foreign gentleman of distinction who trav-
cled incog. A few days since we asked a
prominent Know Nothing--a learned
Doctor of the order--to explain the mys-
terry, and he expressed his readiness to
comply with our request. Whether he
has done so in good faith or not, We can
not say; but here is his explanation, which
at least, is ingenious and remarkable
"Sam," he said, stakes his name from the
initial letters of the following formula:
"Septentionalis Americce MagiScr;"
that is to say, S. A. NJ. means "Master OF
North America" If this is not the true
reading of the riddle, it is good enough to
be true. 1t seems to imply that the afore-
said Sam is the "coming man" of the u
nited States, whose rule no one shall gain
say. Perhaps, however he has come, al
ready; or perhaps he is only looming to
come. IN o. Daily Delta.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
Courting in a Right Style.

"Git eout you nasty puppy-let me a
lone, or III tell ma - cried out Sally
TO her lover Jake -, who sat about ten
feet from her pulling dirt from the chin
ney jam.
ii amt tecbin on you, SAL" responded
Jake.
"Well, perhaps you don't mean to nuth-
er-do yer!"
"No, | don't"
"Caus you are too tarnel scary, you
long-legged, lantern jawed, slab-sided, pi-
geon-toed, gaDgle-kneed owl, you-haint
got a tarned bit Of sense, get along home
with you"
"Now, Sal L love you, and you cant
help it, and if you don't let me stay and
court you, my daddy will sue your'n for
that cow he sold him t'otber day. BY
lingo, be said he'd do it Sal"
"Well look here, Jake-if you want to
court me, you'd better do it as white
man does that thing not setting off there
as if you thought had pizen."
GLOW on airth is that Sal?"
"Wby side right up here, and hug and
kiss me, as if you really had some of the
bone and sinew of man about you. do
you 'spose woman's only made to look
at, you stupid fool you? No they're made
for practical results as Kossuth says
to hug and kiss, and sieh like. "Well,
said Jake drawing long breath, if | must
I must, for DO love you SAL" and SC
Jake commenced siding up to Der, like q
magpie poker going to battle. Laying
his arm gently on SAILS shoulder, we thought
we heard Sal say
"That's the way to doit, old hoss: tha
is acting like white man."
"Oh, Jerusalem and pancakes r' ex
claimed Jake, "if this amt better thai
any applesass ever marin made, darl
sight Crick-ee! buck-wheat cakes, slap
lacks, and lasses amt no whar' long sid
of you, Sal. Oh, how love youl" Her
their lips came together, and the repol
that followed was like pulling horse
hoofs out Of the mire.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
Valuable Receipts.

To become rich--Savc your money and
scar your conscience.
To become wise-Eat, sleep and say
nothing.
To become popular-Join the strongest
church, and all the secret associations.
To become Respectable-Say yes to
every other mans opinions, and have
none of your own.
To become exalted to a little Office
BE ready at all times to act as tool for
big men. -,
To become poOr-Be honest and void
Of suspicion.
To become insanc-Speak your senti-
ments without consulting the oracles.
10 become uufortunate-Print your
thoughts.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
Teachers and Scholars.

The School Journal for the past month
contains several decisions of great i'm
portance; and among others, this one, in
regard to the power Of the teachers over
the scholars, out of school:
The authority of teachers over pupils
out of the school house, is a question o.
yer which the Department has, under the
law, only advisory, and not absolute pow
er; and Difference to former decisions on
the subject, has delayed Instructions thus
far on this point But numerous and in
creasing complaints from single schools
and entire districts, of baG conduct and
acts of insubordination, at the school
house and under the eye Of the teacher
and directors, have been received. These
cases are demoralzing in their character
and subversiye Of the discipline Of the
schools, yet neglected by parents, and not
properly cognizable by the Courts, re-
quire the statement, here, that in the o.
pinion of the present Superintendent, the
jurisdiction and authority of the teacher
over pupils is neither limited by the school
house walls nor to the time the school IS
actually in session; but that, as general
rule, in all matters legitimately connect
ed with the schools and the manners and
morals Of the scholars, the teachers lur-
isdiction commences at the moment when
pupils leave the parental roof and con-
troll to 90 to school, and continues until
their return from school.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
a Mysterious Transaction.

We have been favored with the partic-
ulars of very strange affair in the town
ship of Salem, this county, SO far as those
in that section, affected by the transac-
ton, are permitted to know the why's and
wherefores of the mystery.
Several weeks ago, Mr.. Curtis, one of
the most upright and honorable men of
the township, received a brief letter, with
out date or signature, printed with pen,
purporting to have been mailed at Phil
adelphia, enclosing one hundred and two
dollars, in good bank bills; with request
that he would distribute the money to a
bout fifty different individuals mostly
neighbors, list of the names being ap-
pended, and the amount going to each,
set opposite the name respectively. Mr..
Curtis upon consultation with a few friends,
C oncluded to make the distribution in
good faith, and we learn he has nearly or
quite completed the task. Judging from
the residences and ages of the persons
named, it would appear that the list had
been made from some data going back
about twenty years, as at that time most
if not all of the men, were living within
q radius of six or seven miles. Several
of the list are now dead and in such
cases, Mr.. Curtis pays the money to the
widows, or to those authorized to settle
the estates. No word nor circumstance
connected with the letter gives any init
nation of the source of the money, or the
cause of its distribution. 1t can have no
/ benevolent meaning, as many of the re-
cipients, and those receiving the largest
sums are men of wealth. 1t can not have
social meaning, as scarcely any two l.
TENS are of alike amount, and as no par
tV to the transaction, or any one else
thereabouts, can imagine whence or why
the money is thus disposed of. The a.
mounts named for different persons vary
and are made up with an odd number Of
cents, Some received only 63 cents, 9th
ers eleven dollars and odd cents. The
sum total of the items falls eighty cents
short of the money enclosed, thus leaving
purposely that amount to Mr.. Curtis Tor
his services in making the distribution
When the money was paid out as direct
ed, the writer of the letter said be would
be heard from again.
Who can solve this mysterious business,
-HonesdaI Herald, May II.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
COURTSHIP.

Jennie sighed, and Robin seized her
Pretty little trembling hand,
Then with out-stretched arms he seized her
Half reluctant form, and - and -
Loose me - but he clasped the tighter
Jennie, say wilt thou be mine"
Then her bright face grew much brighter,
And she whispered, 81 am thine"
Then they clasped each other fondly,
Close together as two bricks,
And they kissed each other soundly,
And - left them in that fiX
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

An old acquaintance Of ours (BIily
Kemp was house, sign and ornamental
painter-iu an immensity Of artistic pur-
suits. His genius was not only extraor-
dinary but versatile, giving evidence of
the latter in one particular instance. y
grocery keeper, desirous Of making
splurge in the outside embellishments of
his store, engaged Billy to paint some
signs. Among them was one on which
were the words Sperm OIL and under
meath the representation of a whale
Well the sign was finished and brought
to him. The whale didn't suit the gro
Gerry keeper-didn't exactly come up to
his ideas of one of the monarchs of the
salty deep
look here Billy, what the ID do you
call this! says he.
Call that!-Why l call that a whale,
and first rate imitation, too" said Bill
Whale? Nonsensel 1t looks more
like hog
a hog.
Yes, a regular hog"
Does it though! Well then, by goliy,
I'll make a hog of i'll Old Porkiey the
butcher, wants a hog painted, and III
lust take this ere feller here and put legs
/ on him and let him have it.
And half an hour afterwards the whalo
had legs attached to it, and was sold for
a perfect representation of Porher.--
There's genius as is genius.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

A gcnious in Ohio has just perfected a
rife that knocks the Minnie into cooked
hat. He placed an ounce ball in it on
Tuesday evening last, and fred at the
sky. 4 few moments afterwards, the dog
star commenced bowling, and in such a
manner that the people of Cleveland "are
satisfied" he was wounded in the thorax.
Where are your French gunsmiths now
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24
VOL 10.
Published by Theodore SchOch.

TERMS-Two dollars per annum in advance--Two
dollars and quarter hall yearlyand if not paid be-
fore the end of the year, Two dollars and half
No papers discontinued until all arrearages are paid
except al the option of the Editor.
IP Advertisements not exceeding one square Uen
lnes) wall be inserted three weeks for dollar, and
Swenty live cents for every subsequent insertion. The
charge for one and three insertions the same ber-
a! discount made to yearly advertisers;
II All letters addressed TO the Editor must be post
said.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

RIsING.-As the sun in all splendor
was peeping over the eastern hills, new.
ly married man exclaimed, 'The glory of
the world is risingp His wife, who hap
pened to be getting up at that moment,
taking the compliment to herself, sim
pered
what would you think, my dear, if [
had my new silk gown on!'
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

A Yankee in Iowa has taught ducks to
swim in hot water, and with such sue
cess, that they lay boiled eggs.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

There is letter in the Cleveland Post
Office, directed as follows:
TO the big ed-faced Butcher.
With large wart on his nose,
Cleveland, Ohio
The clerks expect licking when they
deliver the letter. Cleveland Raiudealer
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

The fame which follows true great
ness no friend need hold up, and no enc
my car kcea down,
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

Bill Brown says that his Shanghai
rooster is so tall, that he has to get down
on his knees to crow.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

A rascally old bachelor asks-'what is
the most difficult operation surgeon can
performi To take the jaw out of wo-
man.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-05-24

Never expect others to keep for you
secret which you could not keep yourself.
The weekly American banner., 1855-10-12
\ CONTROVERSY WITH GEN
ERAL SCOTT.

According to Washington correspondent
Of the New York Times, Secretary Davis, Of
the War Department, is engaged in cores
pondence OF controversy with General Scott,
It seems that some months since. General
Scott gave General Hitchcock, who has lone
been an intimate personal friend, leave Of ali
sence for six months. The Secretary of War
Immediately wrote to General Scott, demanding
his reasons fo- this act of favoritism to General
1itchcock, and, at the same time, counterman-
ding the generals order granting leave Of
absehce. The Secretary's letter was quite
e sharp - in its tone as It was insulting IN
it5 tenor. '''-'--e s.
General Scott replied that he had granted
the leave OF absence because lie had tlle right
70 DO It, and was convinced of its propriety
-tnat ne was not responsible to the Secretary
of War for his action in such cases and that
ne would be obliged to him il nc woyld here
after, ip any official communications he mirot
have occasion to address him, write in the
name and BY the authority of the President Of
tne United States--as he was the only Official
superior whom he acknowledged. The Gene.
rais letter was quite as sharp as The Secreta-
rvs
Secretary Davis. 10 reply, entered into d
very elaborate and detailed exposition Of all
the alleged breaches Of order and violations of
propriety committed by General Scott during
ms whole military career. His letter il yery
long, and filled with the severest criticism Of the
Generals conduct It is intended to annihilate
hlm completely in the confidence and respect
OF the American People-which may prove TO
De more serious undertaking than Secreta-
ry Davis imagines
The correspondence is already quite volumi-
nous, and is not yet closed. It will undou +
edly be communicated to Congress at the O. |
penlng Of the Session. II not, it will be cali
ed for BY special resolution.
The weekly American banner., 1855-10-12

N~~so AsA0sseCe
The Sag Nicht newspapers are continually
casting slurs upon those ministers Of the gospel.
who, moved by an intense patriotism and by
rational dread of 1.-THE aggressive policy and
corrupting tendenciesn Of an anti republican
Church, have taken the field in defence Of the
principles Of the American Party. And vet
these same journals have no word ii animadyer-
mon OF condemnation for those other mini sters
OF the gospel. who have taken the field agsinst
the American Party, and in defence Of the anti
republican doctrines and practices of the
Church Of Rome, Why . this! Why is il
more criminal for Clinton. and Nabors. and
1cruggs to enter the arena Of politics, than for
hughes. or Longstreet. or Matthews to DO the
same thing! Longstreet, in addition to being q
minister OF the gospel, is also President Of q
University founded and patronixed alike by.
Americans and Anti Americans, and yet il is
deemed entirely property himself and oil the
sag Nicht journals, for him tc write and publish
rom day to day along diatribeS bitter invec-
syes,swe may say against the whoic American
Party and especially against those ministers Of
The Methodist Chnrch who happen to differ gath
ZEN In regard TO the great questions Of the day
What egotismi What ienominious Bel stuiti.
ication +. Memphis Eagle.
The weekly American banner., 1855-10-12

From the Published reports of the Canvass
now going OF between Gen. Quitman and Giles
M. Hillyer. Esq, we notice that the General il
worsted in every place they spsak--the talent
ed Hillysr i too much for him. As cotempo-
Iary remarks, Hillyer is q bold, dignifed, fear
less and eloquent advocate OF the American
doctrines, and unlike the political demaeopues
and slang-whangers Of the antis American par
ty ;'he speaks Of his opponent a. hiah-minded,
chivalrous gentleman; as brave and honored
soldier, and rather than pluck one leaf from the
chaplet Of his weIl-earnsd fame, he would sac
ri6ce every political aspiration. This eviflces
generous noble ambitions free from the
slime of corruption which marks the iurclery
and wire workii g-trickery& &of political dema-
He is the noble champion or no4
Die cause, and will proudly bear the standard of
American principles through this csnvass.
Woodville WAig.
The weekly American banner., 1855-10-12
me american. Party-AD,,-D..
& ~ publican K

se's who place such a hieb hst;,. q. -
."emsslses as to be Impressed with the d.,.s.u -
:; a"a' ~ ths world knows they havsbol,ed .sa
ap'oe 70 learn the why's and vbs,efa..- !.
aHo Ooi'srs who are conscious of THAR ;n.;..s,s
sance' and ambitions Of the distI notion y r.l 80
,ns .nelr pamesin the papers have .do,,sd - - !.
,asn,1n ,ao .. o. saying by way of pretext aws
.,. .es me Know Nothing order because Il !. on,;
republican Whsrsin il ID auti.ren,hl;s.s \ .s'
%ty lal 70 inform Us, partly becssuse Il. 49,.
O' mem DO not know. the meapino - .h.;. ...O''
words but chiefly because there I. bnt -. -. !" :
..s sAlcn '0e charge is true; and as the boI,.,.
a .uuss nave not presented that one T. ,hs
them. sAss service for
rsPuohcsn may signify !" opp ossd 4, -.
principles Of republic in vh;ah iSsssa = .1e
~0so cannot be truthfully applied 10 tl,s Ams,,. -
- Pay. Or 4 mar mean opposed to..h.
P"h1Pls' Of the Republican party,s,- .rr,h;s = ~,
sense isis the glory Of the a Aneric.o ,.,t.~ 80 :
% more snti-repablican than any other psrtv 4
v -, gn'on' Se sys
wna1 then is this party, assuminr 70 i,.elf |
'ne name Of Republican party y 10 ,vbo.. scr;,,
ciples We are opposedl Il i tb.ts n,,,r s =
which the Natienai Era i the Fedey.I II O.
me !. un.dultsrated' .uuconpromisinr Abolition.
~, VINO n1ll permit no political question. -
1'y'oe them' or lead them of from the one ;ds,
q Abolition, whose war cry. borrowed lton 81 IN ~.
french Heyolutionists. Il .Iibertv (
The weekly American banner., 1855-10-12

r reply to the rabid. unpatriolicnnd anti.A.
merican' feeling eviuced By the SD j Ic6t papers
Of Louisville Ky., and Journals of that siIk, ws
clip from the New York Express. The following,
= peculiarly seasonable and appropriate. spea.
king Of the te disgracafal riots d that CITY, the
Express says; I
why, the time has come when the verv name
Of American Is looked upon e. term 81 reIroach
= - something ID common with amidriQht aon-
spirators," and q species of burglar ana robber.
who fears the light Of dayl It was so ID tha rev.
olution-Nhen the Republic had its first war with
foreign influence. American was then synon;.
nous with Rebel--Rebels that deserved Ia ha
shot. To-day, the phrase Is changed to that a.
'conspirators;" but the punishment Il nretfv
much the same death by shooting-deafh hv
the hands Of the German aud the frishman. ror
our own parts, II there Is another war for Amer
lean Independence to come, we could wish that II
were one IN which We could meet the Hessians
and the HIberians IS we met them in '76. in the
camp and on the battle field; for there the Amer
can people would be likely to have fairer plavI
han they find in . war that il waged against
hem, With bullets and balls from the ambuscades
d second story windows--prompted BY unseen
hands, urged on by unseen influences and applaud
q 'by men who pretend to be American IA prin-
'iple and practice, - well as name.
in saying thus much, of course we are NOT to
'e understood as endeavoring to palliate one iota
" soften 10 the slightest degree the crimes of
which the Louisville mob were guilty. in the fear.
ul Vengeance they saw &c to take upon sfhe fore;gy.
n aho fired the first shof'n