Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1855-11-08
pen, Yasts h Stissprs.

NJ BluShes are flying colors which nsidens
carry becomingy.
UWadded comforters are poor substitutes
for welded wives.
aTPsINrERs need money sometimes. This
is neUs 10 some people.
GJ"Music hath charms to soothe the savage
breast" So has calico.
USall River is full of lead Know Nothngs
slaughtered in Pennsylvania and Indiana.
1J'The recently elected Governor SALMON
P. CHASE, is 10 become resident OF Co!um-
bus.
p"Nat, what ore you leaning over that
empty cask fori" 'Im mourning over depar-
led spirits"
u Pretty girls who wear wells contrive 10
lei the wind bow them uside when they meet
q smart young fellow.
GJ>The feler that could "call up spirits
from the Vastly deep" might make fortune
down in Maine just now
IJ'A Yankee doctor has recently got up
remedy for hard times. 1t consists OF len
hours labor we'll worked in.
pPatrck, when will water stop running
down hil!-"When ever it gels 10 the bottom,
sure, you Spapeen, said Pat.
: UIf the FUSION ists have lost so 900 votes
IN Ohio in one year, what will their majority
be in 1856! Answer 20,000--ocer the left.
NJ Fugitive Slaves are daily making their
way TO Ohio. Iouse-nggers are thought
more of than white people by majority oflhe
Ohio voters.
UTThe following is from an English paper:
Nanied-a man and his wife 10 look afIer a
farm End dairy with q religious tuIn of mind.
without incumberance.
% The womtn in Indianapolis must be
rather squeamish A day hes been set apa,s
especially for the ladies' 10 vsi, the statue Of
the Greek Slave, on exhibition there.
n An lrishman eratuer confident OF ma
king his fortune by the repeal of the stamp
duty on newspapers, has announced "a new
daily paper 10 be published three times a
week."
frT BRIGHAM YoUyo has now seventy wives.
II one wife makes man very happy, what is
the supposed state Of BR GHAM's mind by this
time' He must feel like he was in molasses
hogshead.
GJAn old lady who did not know wether.
her antation was in Virginia or North Caroli-
ma, found, when the line vas drawn that she
was n resident Of the former. 'Wall,' said
she, Il am glad don't live in North Carolina
II was was always such sickiy State
U7-I, is singular fact that woman cannot
look from precipice, Of any magnitude, with
out becoming instantly dizzy. But, what is
still more singular, the dizziness departs the
very moment somebody puts his arm around
her waist 10 "keep her from falling" Queer,
isn't it2"
GT"Johnie, does you love mel"
DWELL, Susie, does"
"tlOw 'oes you know that you love me?"
"Kase, Susie, whenever looks al YOU, my
heart jumps up and knocks agn my stummck
so hard that don't have any appetite for
week afterwards.
" The following dialogue occurred be-
tween cnnductoron one of the Portland rail-
roads and passenger few days since:
! Passenger Well, Mr. Conductor, what is
| the political news!
Condnc;or-Don'L know, sir. for haven't
been 10 church for the last Two Sundays.
Gj'Down East somewhere, 2ious old lady
was summoned oS witness in an important
| SnSS' bCIIlS (Olu lIdl SHC 'SWeHT.' lie
poor woman was filled with horror at tie idea.
After much persuasion she yielded and ex.
claimed "Well, if | must-Danr' The
Cour, Immediately adourned--Judge nd jury
nearly ialn,ing.
GTA pickpocket uttered the following solil-
oquy: "Wel, if thus amt mean! Here's
this Teller been agoin' about with this here
yaIIer chain, and when | pulls ii out ere's
no watch on the end OF 1t. The conduct of
these here fnShy clerks is enough 10 break the
heart OF poor fel er like me, as has 10 depend
on his trade for livin'.'
G-j'lt is related tha; cousin OF Mrs PaIt-
ington. purchasing at The dry goods store OF
an "Odd Fellow" observed that many OF his
clerks wore breost-pinS bearing those cabals-
tic letters, F. l.. T.--"Pray, Mr.. James," said
The lady, "what man those three letters, so
common in your store, F. L. T. ?" The mt an
madam" replied The polite draper, "few hes
told" "Aha p responded the lady, "this is
just the store want"
+ GTThree boys happening one summer day 10
be caught out in violent thunder-s orm, sought
refuge under Tree, where they had been buta
short time when tree but a short distance
from the one they were under was struck by
| lightning and shivered 10 atoms. One OF the
boys, with seriousness and anxiety plainly de-
picted in his countenance, says 10 The other:
"BIll, can YOU pray?" "No." "Pete, can
you pray?" NO. "Nor either, but by
hoky something M ust be done.'
| " That man who runs down the girls,
speaks i'll Of the married women, throws a
quid OF tobacco into the contribution box, anI
lakes penny out to buy more, can never have
peace in this world. Bedbugs, mosquitoes
and the night mare, and all the hobgo6lins of
guilty conscience will haunt him on his way
10 that we'll hei ted prison where convicts are
fed on aqnalortiS soup and are allowed no
other amusement ;han to sit and pick their
teeth with red hot poker through eternity.
Don, Jr.
GFWe once saw young man viewing tho
"ry heavens with in one GT', ~ OF pis-
tolls IN the other. We gazed OH him sometimes
III aStoniShment and endeavorel TO ait ract his
attention by ling out in paper we held in
our GJ', relating 10 young MA u belonging TO
that OF the country who had left home in a
state OF mental arrangement. He threw thet
and pistols frnm his NJ S and led it is |, Of
whom you read. left my home with the in
tention ofputing 10 my existence. Button
arriving si this spot ! was led 10 consider
deeply on the rash act was about 10 commit
ami those very" IS seemed To say young man