Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1855-03-14
Our Cbip a,ilskst.

il, erpeiuai mo.ionA woman's tongue
FLen talling about hsr baby.
sRst Z girl b ever 30 young tl,c p6roon.
.u hSSSlarried she becomes : woman!
hearts asse Of fashionable liz i d pl.yl
r., aianons. H
add up the nGAlue Of arithmetic Il III
dresses. of ones loyers ma Il
The blossoms on a. H.
early peas. ars forced By aSs nose, ike
cu " p Of glass
| II shall die ike \ hero,ss mid
when 4 was being consumed, FOL >sal.
mix with the Gsics file grate.'
As a proof u the hardness ofthe dimes.
there is . man in Ohio who killed one half
q pts alta time.
The period Of courtship cannot Is too
short. When you have hooked your iish.
the sooner YOU use your landing not tho
better. s !. i \
SMALL PorAToEs. - Mayor MAYO, 3.
Richmond; has sent Betsy Miller, q white
woman, to the Hastings court fol trial
for stealing rooster.
You seem animated BY this finc win
ter scene, my dear Annie,y said q lover -
No said she. 4 shall be A,miie- MATED
till ! become your wife. fH.
An honest Dutchman, on being asked
how often be had shaved, replied Drce
times 7 week efery other tay but Sunday
den shafe ctfery tay.
LEoAI ADVICE 70 Youxo LApins.--
Dont't accept the hand Of anybody Who
tells you he y going to marry and Eseitle
Make him settle Rrst. and marry AFTER
wards. Il s = AsSsass y
II your sister, while engaged ins I'D.
der conversation with her sweetheart is.
quests you 70 bring her glass 81 lwater
from al adjoining room; you ON start ID
your errand, but you need mt return.
"a boy three years ofage was asked WHO
made him. With his lutte hands leyeled
a foot above the floor, lie artlessly replied:
God made me . little baby % high. and
grew the rest.'
"a gentleman accustomed to Che signu.
ture Of the firm Of which Ne was partner,
having to sign q baptismal register 4f Que
Of bis children, entered il as the child 81
Smith, Jones' Co.
/ "a fellow named Willis was hauled up
sinIAlbany the other day for striking man
named Jdts. aud lined Eve doll;lfs. lIe
plead, in extenuahon, that he thought II
no offence TO crack a jok,r fa
Never pull out q gray hair. said gen
tleman 70 his daughter, 'as twoS generally
comes to its funeral 4 don't care how
many come to the funeral, If they only
come dressed in black
Hard times produces ono good thing
They check gossiping. Mrs. Claeker bal
only had company once since last sum
nier. The consequence i. that the neigh
bors' character stands higher than they
have done for the last Eve years. EII
Mr.. Jessamine says. that 'alabastcr
shoulders and sieh sort Of arrangements,
rare like woodchucks---as soon asI cold
weather comes they 90 below for warmer
regions. Mr.. Jassamine IS an imperti-
neht fellow. What right had he, bach
elor, 70 knew anything Of 'alabaster shout
ders?' i #.t|
SWEARING ExfRAoRDiNARY.--A CORES.
pendent in 0ttowa county, Michigan, from
whom we are always glad % hear, gives
us the following, Scene in . Mayor q court
at Grand Rapids Mayor Church presi.
ding. Witness called Up to be sworn by
the clerk |s
Clsyk.-'You do seiemnly swear
Mayors with dignity l-Stopl The wit
ness will hold up his right hand. sIEs
Clsrl-The man has no right hand,
your honor.
Mayor, with some aspcrity Let him
hold UP his left hand, then. #z
Clerk-lIe has had the misfortune to
lose bis left hand also, % your honor will
perceive. EfS
Mayor, (sayagely )-Tell him 10 hold
up his right leg, then; : man cannot Be
sworn IN this court without holding DIP
something Silence, gentlemenl Our dig
nifty must 10 preserved! Witness sworn
on one leg n.
why is il, my son, that when you drop
your bread and butter, il Is always The
buttered side DOWN.
II don't know. Il hadn't oughtef; had
il! The strongest side ought TO be upper
most. hadn't L ma, and this we're 8 the
strongest butter over seed!' as
Hush up it's some Of your anntschurn-
ing fs
ibid she churn u! The great lay
thingp
What your aunt
No; this yere butter! TO mako TINT
poor old woman churn II, when II Is strong
enough to churn iiselfl' H3
BE still Zibal ItOnly wants working
over as5
We'll marin 6es you When. ] did L Yd
put in . lot O. molasscsp
You good-for-nothing! T'ys Ire ii
great deal worse In most ar;stocraticI New
York boarding houses.' M n
Well. people q rank ought % at III!
Why people O. rankf ts.SI
sCapse is rank busses.
You varmit you! What makes you talk
~ smaft2'
The buttsr's 6ksn ths ain 81 ~