The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-11-07

Speaking 81 the tendency Of temperance ora
tors to sci forward themselves as previous ex
amples of the hlighting effects Of drink, the Lon
don correspondent Of the Inverness Advertise
says: !, ~
other evening at temperance meeting. 4
person in The hill gotup and said: my friends
three months ago signed the pledge. (Clap
ping of hands and approved cheers.) In
month afterwards, my friends, ! had sovereign
in nv pocket--a thing I never had before
| (Clapping and very loud cheers. In another
month, my friends, had good coat on my
| back-a thing never had before. Cheers anc
clappline much louder.) A fortnight after that
| nv friends, bought coffin.'' The audience
was going to cheer here, but stopped and look
ed serious. stY-ou wonder" continued the lee
turer, 'twhyI bought coffin. Well, my deal
friends, | bought coffin because felt pretty
certain that If II kept the pledge another fort
night I Should want one.'
A genuine down easter was lately essaying
to appropriate i square of exceedingly tough
beef at di,aner In Wisconsin hotel. His con-
vulsiye efforts with knife and fork attracted
the attention aid smiles of the rest of the com
pany, who Were in the same condition as him
SELF AT Last JPnathan's patience vanished I'M
der the process, when laying down his utensils,
be burst out with strangers, you needn't
laff, if you haiR't got no regard for the land
lords feelings, |ye orter have some respect fer
the old BULL This brought down the house.
The following is a part of the christening
ceremony of child of the Arabian desert ''The
morn that ushered thee into life, my child,
saw thee weeping, while all around thee smiled;
endeayor SO to live that thou mayest make
thine exit smiling, while all around thee weep"
bridget, ard the eggs boiled." II don't
know. sur4; lift them to bile by the watch"
'Boil by the watch! Why, what do you
mean?"
"Sure, didn't ye tell me to bile them three
minutes by thu watch? an faith did, for I
laid them in the skillet together"
An Irishman describing the trading powers
Of genuine yankee, said: "Be dad, if he !
was cast away on desolate island, he'd get
up the next NOR ping and go round selling maps
20 the inhabitants"
'Pa, do cannpns grow"
"No, you simpleton; why do you ask that
question:"
Because the papers say as how the French |
rave planted some at Sebastopol.'
"Wel1, come to think of it, sonny, cannons
viii sometimes shoot if they are planted; and
have heard of them yielding grape" he add
d, with smile OF satisfaction, as he fumbled
lis pocket for cent to reward the boy for be-
no the innocent cause of such wise obser-
alton.
What are the most unsocial things in the
,orld? Millstones-you never see two of
lem together -..
The more nearly our minds approach to
ate of purity in this life, the greater will be
ur chance of realizing true happiness.
There is man in Vermont who feeds his
eese on iron filings, and gathers steel pens
ON their wings.
A yankee doctor has gotup remedy for
ell worked in. a
70 what color does fogging change boy? ;
makes him yell-O ID
Going to law is like losing COW for the a
Ike of a cat.
The game Of fashionable life is to play hearts !"
ainst diamonds.
Dr. Thomas, of Monticello, Indiana, reports til
;ase Of rattiesnake bite. Mr. j. H. S. aged CO
years, who stands six feet in his stockings, X
o, by the way, was very fond of brandy, "a f.
just been bitten on the inside of his left CO CO
j by large rattlesnake; both fangs had it
N well inserted in the muscles. In SO hours tn
was sound and well. gave him in the a., ee
'rt time alluded to one quart of brandy, and -
and a half gallons whiskey, all without in tai
lcation. lie wanted more, and refused tn
supply his wants. The next day, Mr.: H., hi
next neighbor, was passing along, and saw e. e.
with his pants rolled up to his knees, bare I,e
ed, and wading around in some weeds and las
S. with his feet. He asked if he had lost
thing. g. ia
No" gge
What are you doing, them" .. H,
am hunting snake. There amt any k
or only what doct. Thomas has, and he ito
t let me have any unless I'm snake bitten, an a
m hunting one.'' he he
CEnDHyA nfHI ErRDE ErcrHuTnr CIR