The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1855-05-09
5 WASHINGTON IooGGAN
I PUBLISHER.
NO. "a
W11mOROHG.


man who ventured to give linn some
wholesome advice, struttcd up to hiil
4 with all air of Importance, and said,
"sir, you are iio gentemdn! here is
my card-.'considcr yourself chalIeng-.
! ed. Should ] be from home wlleh
you honor me With q Gull, l shall leave
word with friend to settle the pre-
limIlarics to your satisfaction" T0
which the other replied, sir you are n
! fool-'here is my card--considcr your
nose pulled! and sfiould / not be at
homo when you call on me, YOU Will
find have left orders with my ser.
want 10 kick you into the street"
A military officer, of diminuiva
stature, was lately drilling an;fIrish.
man considerably above six fcet.--.
"ltold up your head,n said tie oiiicefr,
clrvating the chin Of the lrishmaifi,
with tie head of his cane to an angle
Of forty five degrees. ''IioId up YOUR
head So, and throw your eyes some.
What to the right, thus -
And must always DO SO, my no.
ble captain?;' asked the new recruib.
] with much apparent simplicity.
"Ies: always answered the officer.
"lhen, are you we'll, my dear lit.
tic fellow, rejoined Paddy, Shall nsw.
cr see you again"
81 am afraid yooiu, will come rs
want," said an old lady to her daugh.
| ter.
81 have come to want already"
was the reply; 81 want nice young
man."
! A small piece cf paper or Inch
just rnoistened wit4 t,iTpehtine, and
put into the wardrobe or diawers fof
a single day, two or three times K
year, is sufficient preservation against
moths.
4 notorious hiiser having heard "a
very eloquent charity sermon, "1his
Sermon" said he, $50 strongly proves
the necessity of aims, l have almost
mind 10 beg"
sit is \ vcrv solemn thing tn ha
married, said Aunt Bethany. eyes"
but it's great deal more solemn not
to be-" said the maid of twenty. .
Why is mans coat larger when he
pulls it out Of n carpet. bag? Because
lie finds it in crease:
Teddy ny boy just geiiesss .how
many cheese there is in this big, an
faith I'll give yc the whole fyc."
Five" said Taddy.
'.Arrah my sowl, bad luck to the
man that touId yer.
An experienced woman asserts, that
when men break their hearts, it is all
the same rs when lobster breaks one
ofhis claws-alpthcr sproutins im,ne.
d'a'rly' and growing il Its plaSs:
A very absept. minded individual &
being upset trQah boat in the river,
sunk twice before he remembered that
he could s$ih,.
4 minister having preached a Ser.
mon MS w7,s his cuslom,- some honrs
after lie asked Il scntlernan Rissopinion
of il; he replied that, Twas good, but
it spoiled II dihner worth t#o Of it.n
lat can ye tell me &hat is d
virgin?"
"To be sure can, jimmy"
"Mell thin, will ye be afther do.
in it,"
"ies, jist, it's q woman that has
never been married at ALL"
"Bc yc.in hifnest, Pat?'
"Yes, .Jimmy::pI .A
"The saints iii hcavcrK be praised
then? my mother is n virgin: my faith.
ernevcr married her at all. sure"
! PADoY's BLuSDEE. yis. o yis!'s
cried an Irishman in the street q fe%
days since, ringing bell, 'lost, be:
tween twilve O'Clock and M'Kinney's
store on Market.street, a large brass
kay: III not be aither tellin'ye &hat
it was, But 1t WINS the lay to tho bahK,
shurc." =.
"My love-" says Mrs: Foozie to.
her husband" "obligc mo with five
pound note to day, to purchase new
dress"
"shan't do any sueh, thing, Agnes;
you called me bear Sesterday.''' ~
"Lor, lovt, that was nothinH;
meant by it that you were fond of
fnsging:"
8Yoa little = HAYS no Ave
but here's ten." =
"Ilo& is your husband, dear9" ask
cd one lady of another 80, l,s is Il,
a very bad state," was the reply.-
"Aud pray what kind Of sta,e il hs
in?" persisted the other. Sin the State
prison" @
'Nevcr pull out gray hair" said
a gentleman, to Ills daughter, "as two
generally comes to its funeral" 81