Kansas weekly herald., 1855-02-16
THE T1CKIER.

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The Toledo Blade tells ofa bunker pol.
: 1tician at thar place, who threatened before
the election to ssfnark" every Democra,
wi,o abandoned the regular ticket. He
has been kept very busy ever since, having
used up several pots of paint without hall
finishing the JOB. He says it is very much
like taking the census. a.ss4r
An old lady entirely out of the hearing
of the preachers voice at canp-meeting
being found sobbing, was asked why she
wept since she couldsnot hear the words ol
the minister .sOh," said she, 81 can see
The holy wag OF hay head"
We have friend, six footer, who was
promenadng on public occasion with q
magnificent woman. 1--WE are the obser.
we'd of all Observers" said the gentleman.
"Yes," replied the lady, sswe are two
brilliant stars"
"Put the stars together responded the
gentleman, ''and what brilliant sun they
would make.
The young lady in Paris, who lately
made her fortieth ascent in balloon, has
certainly taste for circulating in the upper
circles.
John Doolittle says, # law was made
to make folks return things that they cam
not pay for, he wonders how it would act
with delinquent boarderss
Guilty or not guilty g said Judge to
native of the Emerald Isle. Just as
yer honor PLACES. It's not for the likes O.
me to dictate to your honor S Worship was
the reply.
There is nothing like courage in misfor-
tune: next to faith in God, and in his over
ruling Providence, mans faith in him
self is his salvation.
The poorest business an honest man can
engage In is that of politics for the sake of
its reward.
Wanted, an intended bride who is will
ling to begin housekeeping in the same
style In which her parents began.
When man has great deal of fault to
IND with newspaper which he never fails
to read, it is sure sign that he has not
paid for it. People seldom find fault with
their own property.
Fhe man out west who don't take his
village paper nor advertise, has just COM
pleted Il contract with planning mill for a
quantity of shavings and saw-dust-the for
mer on account Of their hgAtness, to be
used for yeast, and the latter to be uhite-
,Cashed, and sold for rice.
John how does the thermometer stand?'
Against the wall, dad
Il mean how is the mercury!'
Il guess it's pretty well, dad; it hasn't
complained lately
you little rascal, is 1t colder than YES
terday!'
i don't know, dad; I'll go out and feel
"RAPPINcs."
We had sweet dreams the other night,
When all around was still
We dreamed we saw host of folks
Pay up the printers bill!
Apples as an article of food possess a.
bout the same percentage of nutrition as
potatoes.
He who marries pretty face only, is
like buyer of cheap furniture-the var
nish that caught the eye will not endure
the fre-side blaze.
IT'S an i'll thing to be ashamed of ones
poverty; but much worse not to make use
OF all lawful means to avoid it.
1t has been found impossible to telegraph
IN opposite directions simultaneously on the |
same wire.
'..My love-" said Mrs. Foozie to her
husband, "oblige me with five pound
note to day to purchase new dress!!"
.'Shan't do any such thing, Agnes-you
called me a bear yesterday!' "Lor, love
that was nothing meant by it that YOU
We're fond of hugging." ''You little, I
have no five but here's ten."
A friend boasting of his watch day or
two since, said it had but single fault
it would keep exactly twenty four hours too
slow.
a clergyman was once sent for in the
middle of the night by one of the ladies' ofhis
congregation.
''Well my good woman said he, $50
you are very i'll, and require the consola-
tions OF lelgionz What can do for you?'
mo. replied the old LADY,; 81 am only
nervous and can't sleep" | /
: chow can l help that?" asked the par
son.
- SO, sir you always put me to sleep so
nicely when go to church, that thought
If you would only preach for me!''
The parson "made tracks"
81 An editor became martial and was ere.
ated captain. On parade, instead of
"Two PAGES in front-adyance, he un-
consciously exclaimed
'Cash-two dollars year in ADVANCE
He was court-martialed, and sentenced
to read his own paper.
The most startling discovery of the age
lsays the Cincinnati Gazette) is that by |
which bank note or other writing or en-
craving is copied to such perfection as to