The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1855-04-12

Leaer from Squire Bull 10 Brother Jonathaa

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Litter from Squire Bull 10 Brother Jonathan.
GREAT BULLOCK ISLAND,
March l. 1856.
Son Jonathan you rascal y Though you went of in a
huff the other morning, and had made up my mind 10
have nothing to do with such nm unnatural,
rehellious puppy yet find nature will have her way, and
my bowels this present moment ycarning towards
you with such intensity that Doctor Pamstry my law
yer and family physician, says IL don't make up mat
ters with you shall certainly have attack Of the choIic
cannot forget that begat you and that though you
given me ten times trouble than all the rest OF my
children put together and goodor-nohing royster-
ing busterng scnpegrace without any Of duty
natural affection your venerable parent fnow declining
into the vale Of years. yet bone Of my bone and flesh
of my flesh your being such notorious outlaw does not
from those natural ties which bind father TO
the issue Of his loins
Though | forbid You TO come into my presence
again till yon learn better and receive my admo-
ntons with becoming difference, shall still keep eye
on your conduct and favor you with my advice
sion offers which dare say viii be often enough seeing
that you always playing some prank that makes me
wish had never begot such undutiful rowdy, who
don't mind dsgracng his father any than he does
himself But for all this assure you my dear JON
athan have the kndet feelings towards you and cher
sh the sinceest wishes for your prosperity whenever
does not come competition with my You certainly
are such unreasonable puppy TO expect that
would lose any fair opportunity Of making good bargain
you giving you sly dig in The short ribs whcn
can gain an honest penny by it, This is not to be
pected you know charity begins at home; but assure
you Jonathan that cannot be number you will
always be number two in my aheconsthough, for the
present, l obliged tickle Captain Bompart at
great for fear he should get tired of backing in
my great lawsuit with Squire Teezer in which like
unnatural rascal you are refuse to sympathze with
me- your affectonate father.
Now Jonathan propose in this letter first to
son with YOU then demonstrate and finally to send
you to Old Harry. In the FIRST place, you know
/ bcgot you and though l had much to do in
bringing you up, You cannot deny that my turn
ing you out of doors the most lucky thing
that ever happened to you But for that you would
have stad home been spoiled by your mother like
the Of my boys. 1t made Of you, you short
sighted Doddipo Jolterhead You would have
grown onehalf your present size and though have
no doubt you would have been much better through
my precepts and example than You
likely be- yet the whole you ought be grateful TO
me for turning you adrift in my wild lands And then
my son, never forget who it that begat you.
Though confess did not pay much attention to you
in your infancy, us knew that children best left TO
themselves and often spoiled by too much nursing
you can't deny (you ungrateful villain that
you grew big enough to take Of yourself began
take care of you Knowing how dangerous it is for boys
have much spending-money and how it leads them
into all Of olles, if not something worse thought
cash. which most certainly entitled, having taken
such good Of you in your infancy.
And what did you do when demanded a small sum for
having begot you you ungI ateul villain Why, You got
into great passion and threw tea-kettlc at my head
and when in the spirit Of paiernal affection, attempted
to give you sound drubbnq you sacrilegously ,rpped
up my heels and laid as fiat founder Yon cant
deny it; you know you did yon unnatural reprobaie
Since that time is amazing what pains have taken for
your reformation Sometimes ! have tried coax, ut
Others to bully you into something like submission and
two three times you may remember what trouble took
TO eudgel you into good behavior But all would do
aud Obliged last bring down your overweenng
pride and speculative vanity BY taking away your charac
ter among the neghbors prevent your carrying your
head so high ! could mention thousand other obliaa-
tons you me but these enough convict you
being perfect of ingratitude devoid Of all natu
raj feeling
And now Jonathan, my dearly beloved SON. let
to the of this letter hear from all quarters that
yon have begun 10 abuse in turn ke ungra,eful
villain YOU are under pretence Of retaliation You
call it, sblood and fury sir what right has SON to re-
taiia,e the father that begat him Its against both
law and gospel sir. You should pocket the aHron as
you would my money have doubt If YOU could
only get bold of IT, for you -cant deny that You
would 60 purgatory II rot step further to pick up
dollar BESIDES ms you nave lately taken upon you TO
sit In Judgment my actions to question my motives !;
and onsnuate that have not usceon my side In my law
salt with Squire Teaz-r Thunder and Mars do you think
such sniveng greenborn you is qualified Judge Of
the actions motives Of Squire Bull who knows more OF
justice and equity and all that sor, Of thing than you will
learn II you live 10 the age 81 Nethusesh, who
much more fortunate than Ia having rebeliious
reprobate plague his life out But take /, for
granted you read the Scriptures and know nothing
Of Methuselah, credibly informed you will not al
low the parson take single 1.-THE pig from your ten
for his Christmas dinner without their consent s
wonder they have religion than 80 many wild
Indians.
And now, son Jonathan let ron how Won turn
about and snarl at the father that bcgat you Though
understand IL is much you do 10 spell your way
through newspaper suppose by chance or other
you may have heard parts of The Bible and the Ten Com
maudmens read in church and may remember that soeor
thy father Is Of them But did you ever hear thai
father bound TO honor bis children Answer me that
you scurrilous reprobate-answer that say II fol-
lows therefore legitimate conclusion Lawyer Pal
mistry says that have natural inaenabie right TO
say just what please about yo that you are bound
by every obligation Of nature and gratitude submit to
II like duhfai son Yet find you beginning brs-