Squatter sovereign., 1855-03-27
Gbe funl,p Corner.
COUSIN SALLY billiard.

%,
and thus addresses the court:-May it
please your Worships, and you, Gentlemen
OF the Jury, since it has been my fortune
,(good or bad will not say) ITO exercise
myself in legal disquisitions, it has never be-
fore befallen me to be obliged to denounce
a breach of the peace so enormous and
iranscending as the one now claiming your
attention. A more barbarous, direful,
marked and malicious assault, more will
full, violent, dangerous and murderous bat
tery, and finally, a more diabolical breach
of the peace has seldom happened in CIV
ilized country, and l dare say it has seldom
heen your duty to pass upon one so shock
ing to benevolent feeling as this, which
took place over at Captain Rice's in this
county, but you will hear from the witness
es. The witnesses being sworn, two or
three were examined and deposed-one,
that he heard the noise, but didn't see the
fight-another, that he saw the row, but
don't know who struck first-and third,
that he was very drunk, and couldn't say
much about the scriImmage,
Lawyer Chops.-I am sorry, gentlemen,
to have occupied SO much of your time with
the stupidity of the witnesses examined. 1t
arose, gentlemen, altogether from misap-
prehension on my part. Had l known, as
ance, who was well acquainted with all the
circumstances of the case, and who was
able to make himself clearly and intelGgi-
bly, understood by the court aud jury,
should not SO long have trespassed on your
time and patience. Come forward, Mr..
Harris, and be sworn.
So forward comes the witness, fat
chufy looking man, a "leetle cors,ed, and
took his corporal oath with an air.
Chops.-Mr. Harris we wish you to
tell all about the riot that happened the
other day at Captain Rice's and as good
deal of time has been already wasted Iii
circumlocution, we wish you to be as COM
pendious and at the same time as explicit
as possible.
Enthusiastically" giving the law
yer a knowing wink, at the same time
clearing his throat-Captain Rice, he gain
treat, and cousin Sally billiard, she came
over to our house and axed me if my wife,
She mought' mt go--I told cousin Sally Dill
ijrd that my wife was poorly, being as how
she had touch of the Rhumaties in tie hip
and the big swamp was in TIE road, and
the big swamp was up, for there had been
heap of rain lately; but howsoever as it
was she, cousin Sally Diilliard, my wife,
she mought go.-Well, cousin Sally Dill
lard then axed me if Nose, he mought'nt
go. told cousin Sally billiard that Nose,
he was the foreman of the crop, and the
crop was smartly in the grass; but howsom-
ever as it was she, cousin Sally billiard
Nose, he mout 60.
Chops. In the name OF common sense,
Mr.. Harris, what do you mean by this,
rigmarole.
Witness, Captain Rice. he win a treat
and cousin Sally billiard, she came over
toow house and axed me ifmy wife, she
mout'nt 60. l told cousin Sally Dillard-
Chops. Stop sir. ifyou please; we dom,
want to hear any thing about cousin Sally
billiard and your wife-tell us about the
fight at Rice's.
Witness. Well, 1 will, sir, if you will
let me.
Cops. Well, sir, go on.
Witness. Well, Captain Rice, he gin a
treat, and cousin Sail D.llard, she came
over to our house axed me if my wife, she
moutslt go
Chops. Thcreit is again,-witness, wit
ness, say, witness, please to stop.
Witness Well, sir what as you want2
Chops. We want to know abut the fight
and you must not proceed in this impert-
ment story-do you know any thing about
the matter before the Court2
Witness. To be sure I do
Chops. Will you go on and tell it, and
nothing else?
Witness. Wen, Captain Rice, he gin a
treat
Chops This is in oleral le! May il
please the Court move that this wit.
ness be committed for contempt,-he
seems to me to be trifing with the court.
Court. Witness, you are now befre a
Court Of Justice, and unless you behave
yourself IN more becoming manner, you
will be sent to jail; so begin and tell what
you know abou, the figh tat Captain Rice's
Witness. (alarmed.) Well gentlemen
Captain Rice, he gin treat, and cousin
Sally Dillard-
Chops. hope that mis- witness may be
ordered into custody.
Court. CATER deliberating.) Mr.. Attor-
ney. the Court is Of opinion that we may
sarro time hu telling the witness to po on