Squatter sovereign., 1855-06-19
Pulling the wrong Bell.

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/ have heard story of pulling, which,
as many of myreaders may be ignorant OF,
and it is worthy of telling, also being my
self in gossipping mood. will even out
with it.
A fine western steamer, of the largest
class, was ploughing her way down stream
with ..full head" on.
The time was early morning; the SIN
had not yet cooled his fiery beams in the
murky waters of the Mississippi; few of
the passengers were astir; and the boat,
quiet and still. save the regular scream
from her iron throat, was making fine head
way.
Suddenly the engineers bell rang out
furious alarming summons, which, being
translated into the vernacular, meant
"Slow her!
The man at the steam obeyed the man.
date; and, with his head upon the lever,
awaited anxiously the next CALL
Itsoon came, and louder vet
"Stop herr
"Some trouble ahead" thought the engi-
neer; but hardly had the idea passed through
his mind, when the busy bell again pealed
forth
"Back herr
Steam was let on in an instant, and, seiz-
ing the lever, the man commenced working
the engine by hand; but the wheel had not
yet completed the efirstretrograde revolution,
when louder tinnabulation tinkled out
successfully
$50 ahead!''
''Slow herr
Back herr"
go ahead!"
Having obeyed the command, and, sup
posing all was right at last, the man quit
ted his post for moment, and stepped out
upon the guards to see what the trouble
had been, when suddenly the orer-busy
bell again was heard
s'Slow herr
Before he could put his hands upon the
screw, the bell again ordered
"Stop herr
Immediately after
"Back herr and "Go aheadr'
Instead of going ahead, the engineer
scratched his own. and then applying his
mouth to the speaking tube, addressed the
pilot thus-but stop, let us turn for a mo-
ment to the pilot, and see what was going
on in his dominions.
This gentleman had been but few mo-
ments at his post, and was not fairly awake
when the bell commenced its mysterious
operations, but sleepy as he was, the queer
antics OF the boat, and the strange Ian
guage of the steam-pipe, excited his atten-
ton, and he had arrived at the conclusion
that something was wrong, at the same
moment that identical idea had forced it.
self upon the engineer; SO, applying his
mouth to the end of the tube, the following
remarks went up and down simultane-
ously:
"What in thunder are you about up
there2"
"What in thunder are you about down
there2"
Having, like two vessels about cornmen-
cling an engagement, fired these shot across
their bows, the twain went Immediately
into action as follows:
Pilot.-Who told you to ''stop her. and
"back her?"
Engineer.-You did; what did you ring
the bell for twenty timess
P.-You must be nice fellow to trust,
Mr.. Kettles, to get drunk before sunrise.
Call your mate and turn In.
E.-Drunka Drunk yourself haven't
had drop; and you're just lying drunk
that's what it is
P.-Look here, old Kettles, hold on a
bit, and I'll be down on yo,, like a thousand
of brick.
E.-Don't trouble youself to come down.
I'll be up to you in two shakes, and then
We'll see who's drunk, and who is not.
Now this backing and filling had excl
ted the attention of officers and crew, and
as the pilot and engineer, having obtained
relief, met half way down on the boiler
deck, and captain and clerk, mate and
steward, bar-keeper and chambermaid, all
has.ened to the post of observation, and
ere the two eombatants could join issue,
they were seized and held, and an inyes,i-
CATION of the affair were entered into.
While all this was in progress, neither
boat nor bell had been touched, but the
same singular succession Of orders was go
ing on, and the two assistants, above and
below. Were meditating little affair o.
their own, when that of their principals
had been satisfactorily concluded.
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