The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1855-07-18
Getting a chronological Chart.

SetGluS EnrouOlOSlcal CnarG.
Our neighbor Colonel s -, tells
capital story of certain wag in Erie,
(Pepn.,) a jolly publican, who contributes
a good deal to the life of that pleasant
but sometimes very obstinate borough.
One morning, a travelling phrenologist ar
rived at his inn, and took lodgings. The
next day in the village paper appeared an
advertisement, stating that Professor B =
had arrived in Erie, and would make for
a consideration, examination of the heads
of the citizens, and accompany the same
with accurate, reliable charts of character
For three or four days the calls were
sparse; but on the fifth day, there was a
rush of five or six to the apartments of
the Professor.
One morning, a countryman entered the
inn where the phrenologist had his rooms,
and said to our landlord aforesaid: is
this the place where the phrenologist
holds out, who can tell mans ka-racter
by the bumps onto his skull?'
Yes answered Boniface, with re-
served and dignifcd manner.
wal, l want my potato-trap looked
into little. Where is the man?'
Il am the man, said the landlord.
'Oh!-you be, eh? Wal, put in: feel
O. my Jumps, and gin US a map. What's
! the swindle2' H4
There's no swindle, Sir: phrenology is
a science, Sir-a liberal science
'Ohl yes-'xpect SO; but what's the
price for feelin' feller's head?'
'One dollar, with chart
wal, go it: what do I du-lie down,
or sit up? Does it hurt?'
Not in the least, Sir: take your seat in
that chair
There were four or five morning-loung
ers in the tavern, who checked laugh
as the countryman took his seat, having
first, as requested, removed his coat, vest
and neck-cloth. The wag of landlord
ran his hands through the hair of the pa.
tient' for moment, and then said to his
bartender:
tMr. Flipkins, take sheet of paper
draw four lines down its whole length
and put down my figures under the heads
/ mention to you3 1t was DONE.
Have you got it?'
Yes: all right 4aS-rl
very well:' and the landlord went OF
with his examination, which was rougher
perhaps, than there was any necessity for
Put down Philo-progenitiveness siaty,
Down, Sir Very we'll: Reverence two.
Booked, Sir 'Combativeness, tsDo hun
dredp
What's hatp said the victim.
i No matter, Sir: you'll see it on tn
chart. Caution, one: Credulity, .foar hun,
dredp
Whats that last lump?' asked the pa
tient.
Never mind, now: you'll understand i
by-and-by. And now, Ito the bar-keeper
Mr.. Fipkins, you've put these in separat
columns, as usual?'
Yes, Sir
Very well: add EN- up!'
), add 'em u-u-p-p! ~ exclaimed tn
! chronological 'subject:' lis that the wa
you do?'
!, of c-o-u-r-s-e! How else could W
get your balance of mind-of intellect
/ Wal, go ahead i
How does it DaboH, Mr.. Flipkins?'
The three columns are equal-they foo
up precisely the samel'7 81
The landlord looked solemnly and sym
pathisingly toward his subject: 1T is yer
strange said he, but u is so. Phreno
t ogy never lies. You have no predom
E inant character, Sir: you have no intellec
tual status: you don't know any thing
Sir. Excuse me, Sir; but must stat
| the truth, whether you take chart or moi
! but, Sir, if there is any truth in phrenol
ogy, you are id fool! Under th
| circumstances Sir, I can scarcely expec
you to desire to keep the chart which 20
r have contracted for: that is matter 6
, small consequence, as it will be a valuabl
| Illustration of unique species, which
! can use in my lectures hereafter. au
/ thenticate all my lectures, Sir, with res
name and residence. The charge of dc
ception, in science, is one which was neve
brought against me, Sir, and never soi
be, Sir-,aeUer' sA'f sf IS
! Obi never mind; give us the map
! said the subject; here's the swindle, for
IS swindle; but I'd rather pay it tina
have you goin' round the country makir
a fool of me everywhere else, as you hav
here-you blasted philoprogenitive hum
bug, you!' III rs
With this explosion, the subject retired
! zI-Knickerbocke1.
The Ocean Telegraph Cable.
, The London Mechanics Magazine state
: that the Editor recently saw at the Inst
, tute of Civil Engineers, London, a sui