Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1855-11-17
EVENING STAR.
INCONVENIENCE OF PRIDE.
BIZ THOMAS HOOD.

| bh hOOD.
There are several objections to one horse We
hicles. With two wheels they are dangerous
with :our, generally cruel inv sntions, taxing
| one animal with tAe labor Of two And. in
either case, should your horse think proper
| TO die on the road you have no survivor to
| drag your carriage through the rest OF the
stage; or 70 be set of 6 allopiDg with the coach
man on his back for a coadjutor
| That was precisely Miss Norman's dilemms
Ii horse could be supposed to harbor so
| deadly spite against his proprietor should
believe that the one in question chose to vent
bis animosity by breathing his last, just at the
| spot where it would cause most annoyance and
| inconvenience.
1t was just at this moment that came up
with my gig, and knowing something of the
lady's character, L halted, in expectation Of
scene Leaving my own bay proceeded to
assist Humphrey, the coachman, in ex.racs-
ing his horse, but the nag Ct royal line was
| stone dead
"If you please, ma 'am," said Humphrey,
Plainly ginit is dead.' -
The lady acquiesced with the smallest nod
ever made.
"Ive took eff the collar, and the bit out,
ana got IN out o harness entirely, but he is
| as inaDimate as his own Shoes" and the in
| formant looked earnestly at the lady to OBJ
serve the effect OF the communication But
| she never moved a muscle; and honest Hum
| phrey was just shutting the coach door 10 20
g and finish the laying out Of the corpse when
he was recalled.
Humphrey
whats your pleasure, ma ann
Remember, another time
Yes ma'am."
When horse Of mine is deceased
1es, ma'am.''
I" Touch your hat
The abashed coachman instantly paid up
the salute In arrear. Unblest by birthrighr
| with seh-possession, he had not even the al
vantage Of experience in the first families,
where he might have learned e little from
good example; he was raw, unoouth coun-
try servant, with the great merit Of being
cheap, whom Miss Norman had undertaken to
educate; but he was still far from bsins pre-
tcient, so that in the importance of announc-
ing the death to his mistress, he had omitte
one If those minor tokens of respect which she
always vigorously exacted.
1t was my own turn to come forward, and as
deterentially as she had been, indeed the last
| Of the eonqueror Normandy's pippins, ten-
dered a scat in my chaise, which she tacitly
declined, with gracious gesture Of her head
and hand.
"Ify you please, ma'am," said Humphrey,
taking care to touch his hat, and shutting his
head INTO the carriage SO that L mighG not
overhear him, " he's a respectable kind of
gentleman enough, and connected with some
of the frat houses
"The gentleman's s nsme?'
"To be sure, ma am, the gentleman can't
help his name" answered Humphrey, fully
aware oS the peculiar prejudices Of his mis-
tress, but it is Higgins"
"Shut the door"
1t appeared Or explanation with the coach
man that ne had mistaken me for person in
the employ of the opuient firm Of Naylor &
company, whose province it was to travel
throughout Britain with samples of hardware
In the box seat of his gig. / did not take the
trouble to undeceive him.
After a terrible long pause on all sides, ny
expectation was excited by the appearance cf
the W coach coming through the Binn
Gate, the only public vehicle that used the
road. At sight Of the dead horse, the driver
(the noted Jem Wade) reined up-alighted-
and standing at the carriage door with bis hat
off, as if he knew his customer, made an offer
Of his services. But Miss Norman, more dig
nihed than ever, waived him off with her
hand. Jem became more pressing, aad the
lady more rigid. "She never rode,n she con-
descended to say, in public vehicles" Jem
entreated again; but, "she was accustomed
to be driven by her own coaehman."
1t was IN vain, that in answer he praised
the quietncss Of bis team, the safety ef his
patent boxes, besides promising the utmost
steadiness and sobriety On his own part Miss
of the coach-box, which, on an unlucky as
surance that " he would take as much care Of
her as cf his own mother" she exchanged for
q steady gaze at the same window, opposite to
the coachmar, 60 long as he remained in her
presence.
"By your leave, ma am,' said Humphrey,
putting his hand to bis hat and keeping it
there, "Mr. Wade is very civil spoken,
careful whip, and his coach loads very re-
snactah!a soeiefv THERE'S Sir Vincent Ra
on the box"
"f Sir Vincent choose to degrade himself
it is no rule for me-" re torted the lady, with
out turning her head, when 10! Sir Vincent
appeared himself and politely endesvored to
persuade her out of her prejudice. 1t was
useless Miss Norman's ancestors had one and
all expressed a very decided opinion against
stage coaches by never getting into one, and
she was not disposed TO disgrace n lion long
er than common, by riding in any carriage
but her own
Sir Vincent bowed and retired SO did jam
Wade. he stage ratified away at IN indig-
nant gallop. By way Of passing my time,
thrice repe ated my offer to the obdura.e old
maiden, and endured as many rsbufs. / was
contemplating a fourth trial when a signal
was made from the carriage window, and
Humphrey with his hat in his hand, opened
the door.
Procure me a post chaise."
po shay" echoed Humphrey, but, like
an Irish echo, with some variation from the
original. "Bless you, ma am, there is not
such thing to be had ten miles around-no,
not for love nor money. Why, bless you, it is
election time, and there is no coach, cart or
wagon, but is gone to il"
"No matter" said the mistress, drawing
herself up with an air Of lofty resignation, Il
revoke my order. for it is far, very, from the
kind of riding that 1 prefer. And, Hum
phrey-"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Another time"
Yes ma'a
Remember, once for all"
Yes, ma am -
Il do not chose to be blest."
Another pause in our proceedings, during
which company of ragged boys, who had
been black-berrying, came up and planted
themselves, with every symptom Of vulgar Gu
riosity, around the carriage.