Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1855-10-10
COON HUNT IN A FENCY COUNTRY.

Really, its astonlshin' what a mon
strous sight of mischief there is in a pint
of rum If one of 'em was to be sub
mitted to analyzation, as the great doc
tors call it, it would be found to contain
all manner of devilment that ever entered
the head of man, from cussin' and stealin'
up to murder and whippin' his own mo-
ther, and nonsense enough to turn all the
men in the world out of their senses. If
man gets badness in him, it will bring
it out, Just as sasafras tea does the mea-
sles; and if he's good-for. .nothin' sort of
a fellow, without no bad traits in pertik-
Ter, it will bring out all his greatness. 1t
affects different people in different ways;
some it makes rich and happy, and some
poor and miserable; and it has different
effect on different peoples eyes-some it
makes see double, and some it makes so
blind that they can't tell themselves from
a side of bacon. One of the worst cases
of rum foolery that I've heard of for
long time, took place in the neighbOrhOOd
of Pineville last fall.
Bill Sweeny and Tom Culpepper are
the two greatest old coveys in our settle
ment for coon-huntin'. The fact is, they
don't do much of anything else, and when
they can't catch nothin' you may depend
ont coons are scarce. Well, one night
they had everything ready for a reg'l
bust, but OWN TO some extra good fortn'
Tom had got a pocket pistol, as he called
it, OF reg'lar old Jamaka, to keep off the
rumalics. After takin' a good startin'
horn, they went out on their hunt, with
their isht-wood torch blazin' and the
dogs barkin' and yelpin' like forty thou
sand. Every now and then stoppin' to
wait for the dogs, they would drink one
another's health till they began TO feel
very comfortable, and chatted away bout
one thing and another. Bimeby they
come to fence. Well, over they got,
without much difficulty.
''Whose fence is this?" said Bill.
"'Taint no NATTER" seq Tom; ''let's
take somethin' to drink"
After takin' drink they went on,
wonderin' what on airth had become of
the dogs. Next thing they cum to was
terrible muddy branch. After pullin'
through the briars and gettin' on t'other
side, they tux another drink, and after
goin' little ways, they cum to another
fence, monstrous high one this time.
''Whar upon airth is we got to, Gull
pepper?" sez Bill. 81 never seed such
heap of branches and fences in these
parts
"Why," sez Tom, ''it's all old Stur-
lids doins; you know he's always build
in fences and maxim Internal improve
ments, as he calls 'em. But never mind,
we's through 'em now."
''Recon we isn't" sez Bill; ''here's
the all fredest fence yet"
Sure enough. thar they was, right
agin another fence. By this time they
begun to be considerable tired and linn
Der in the joints, and it was such terri
bic high fence. Tom dropped the last
piece of the torch, and thar they was in
the dark.
"Now you is done it" says Bill.
Tom know'd he had, but he thought
it was no use to grieve over split milk, so
says he, "Never mind, old hoss, cum
ahead, "and I'll take you out" and the
next mint, kerslash, he went into the
water.
Bill hung on the fence with both hands
like he tho't it was slewin' round to throw
him off.
"Hallo, Tom," sez he. "whar in the
world is you got tO?''
"Hcre 1 is" sez Tom, spouin' the wa
ter out of his mouth, and cOughin' like
he'd swallowed somethin'-"look out,
there's another branch here"
"Name of sense whar is we?" sez Bill;
''if this isn't feney country, dad fetch
my buttons"
Yes, and branchy one, too," sez
Tom, "and the highest and deepest and
thickest that ever seed in all my born
days"
(Which way is you9" sez Bill.
"Here, right over the branGa."
"Come ahead" says Tom, "let's go
home"
"Come, thunder, 1 in such place as
this, whar a man aint got his coat-tail
unhitched from a fence, fore he's over
his head and ears in water
After gettin' out and feelin' about in
the dark, they get together again. After
takin' another drink, they sot out for
home, denouncin' the fences and branch
es, and heIpin' one another up now and
then; but they handn't gone more'n
twenty yards fore they brung to halt
by another fence.
I "Dad blame my picture" !" sez Bill, ''if
1 don't think we is bewitched. Who
upon airth would build fences all over
creation this way 3"
1t was about an hours job to get over
this one but after they got on the top
they found the ground on the other side
without much trouble. This time the
bottle broke, and they cum mons;rcas