Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1855-09-03

How Mr. Sparrowgra5s went Down Stairs.
One evening Mrs. S. had retired aud was bu-
sy Writing, when it struck me that glass OF ice
water would be palatable. So | took candle
and pitcher add went down to the pump. Our
pump is in the kitchen. A country pump in the
kitchen is more convenient; but well with
bucket is certainly more pictuteSques. Unfortu-
nately our well water has not been sweet since IL
was cleaned out. First, had to open bolted
door that lets you INFO the basement hail. and then
went to the kitchen door. which proved TO be
locked. Then remembered that our girl always
carried the key TO bed with her, and slept with it
under her pillow. Then ! TetTaced my steps;
bolted the basement door and went up into the di-
| ming room. As is always the case, found when
could not get water, was thiTstier thanI sup
posed was. Then thought would wake our
glrl up. Then concluded not to do it. Then |
| thought of the well, but gave that up on account
of the flavor. Then opened the closet doors
| there was no water there; and then thought Of
the dumb waiter!
The novelty OF the idea made me smile: took
out two of the movable Shelves stood the pitcher
on the bottom of the dumb waiter, got in myself
with the lamp; let myself down until supposed
was within foot OF the floor below, and the let
go: We come down so suddenly, thai was shot
out of the apparatus as If it had been cHtapuIt.
1t broke the pitcher, eXtingulshed The lamp, and
landed me in the middle OF the kitchen at mid
night with no fire, and the air not much above the
zero point. The truth is had miScalculated the
distance of the deScent-instead of falling one
foot had fallen five. My first impulse was to
ascend by the way l came down, but found that
impractcable. Then tried the kitchen door, it
was locked; tried 10 force it open; il was made
Of two inch stuff, and held its own. Then hoist
ed the window, and there were the rigid iron bars.
II ever felt angry at anybody, II was myself toI
putting up those bars To please Mrs. SparrowgraSS
put them up, not to keep people in but 10 keep
people out.
laid my cheek against the ice cold barriers and
looked out at the sky: not star was visible; it
was as black as ink overhead. Then thought Of
Baron Trenck aud the prisoner of ChilIun. Then
made noise! shouteduntIl was hoarSe, and
ruined our preserving kettle with the poker. That
brought our dogs cut in full bark, and between US
we INA de night hideous. Then thought heard
voice, and liSLened-it was Mrs. SparagEaSS
calling me from the top OF the stair case. tried
| TO make her hear me, but the dogs united with
howl, growl and bark, SO as TO dtown my voice,
which is naturally pIaintive and tender. Besides
there were two boiled doors and double defended
| doors between US; how could she recognize my
voice, even II she did hear it! Mrs. SpauowgEasS
called once or twice, and then got frightened; the
next heard was sound as il the roof had I'll
len in, by which understood that Mrs. Sparrow
grass was Spinging the Tattle. That called our
nelghhboETaIready wide awake. He came 10 the
Eescue with bull terrier pup and a revolver.
The moment he saw me he Shot ut me, but FORUM
ately just missed me. | threw myself under the
AI1Cne" 'aoIe aHu oesuH 10 eAPoSIuldLe win hlnS
but he would not listen TO reason. In the excite
ment had forgotten his name, and that made
| matters worse. II was not until he had reused
up every body around, broken in the basement
door with an axe, gotten into the kitchen with his
savage dogs, and shooting iron, and seized me by
the collar, that he recognized me-and then want
ed me TO explain it: But what kind of an expIa-
| nation could mak to him? ! told him he would
have TO wait until my mind composed, and
then would let him understand the whole matter
| fully. But he never would have had the paticu-
lars from me, for do not approve of neighbors
that shoot at you, break in your door, aud tIeal
you in your own house us il you were Jail bird.
He knows all about it, however, for someLndy has
told him; somebody tells everybody everything in
nmr Village - Putnam, fn- Linz -