Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1855-11-26
wit and Leaning.
''wi'toat a genIus. learning sous in vain,

VtvacitYi LeAtnluss was DoLH OF SopnisB auu re-
tainel her seriousness and caution. As their
m1Ihers were rivals, they were bred up by them
flom their birth in hablual opposition, and all
means were so necessarily employed 10 impress GU
them hatred and contempt of each other. that
though apollo, who fureSaw the i'll effects of their
dScnul endeavCred 10 soften them by dividing his
regard equally between them. vet his imphrtlality
and kindness were without slfecl;Sthe natural anl-
mostly was deeply rooted, having been internin-s
ged Vi th their fist ideas, and confirmed eve
Ty hour, as fresh opportunities occurred OF exertimg
1t. No sooner were they Of age to be received n-
to the apartments of the other celestas, than Wit
began to entertain Venus, at her toilet, b. aping
the solemuity OF Learning, aud Leaning TO divert
Minerva at her loom by exposing the plumbers aud
ignorance of Wit.
Thus they grew up, with malice peFpetualIy in
creasmg, by the encouragement which eocn re-
ceiVed lrom those w59m their mothers had peE,ua-
del to PatroniSe and SUI nort them; aud longed to
he admitted to the table Of Jupiter, not SO much
for tie hope of gaining honor, as Of excluding
rival Tou all PretenSons 10 regard, and putting
an everlasting stop TO the progress OF that infu-
ence which either believed the other 10 have OBJ
tanned by mean arts aud false appearances. AT
last the diy came when they were 10th. with the
usual soletnnteS, received into the class Of supe-
ror LeiteS, and Oilowed TO take nectar from the
hand OF Hebe. But from that hour Concord lost
her authority at the table Of Jupiter. The rivals,
animated by their new dignity, and melted by The
alternate applauSeS at associate poweTs, haTaSSed
each other by incesSant contests, with SUCH reg
ular yielSSltude OF victory that neither was de.
pressed. II was Observable, that, at the begin-
ming OF every debate, The advantage WIS GU the
ideof Wit; and that the first SallieS the whole
assembly spanked, according 10 Homer's express
sion, with uneXtinguiShable nernment. But
Learning would reserve her strength till the burst
Of applause was over, aud the languor with which
Tue VIOLENCE of Joy is always succeeded, began TO
promise mole calm aud patient attention. She
then attempted her defence, and by comparing one
part Of her antagonists objections with another,
commonly made hun cOnfute himself; or, by show
ing how small part of Tue question he had taken
into his view, prv ded thai his Opin ion could
have no weight. The audience began grddualIy
to lay aside their prepOSSeSSlonS, AMI at last
with great ration fur Learning, but with great
er Kindness for Wit.
Their conduct was, whenever they desired to
recommend themselves to Distinction, entirely OPP
Poslte. Wit was daring aud adventurous; Learn
ing cautious and deliberate. Wit thought nnlh-
ing Teproachfut but dullueSS; Learning was afraid
of no impnlation but that of error. Wit anSws +
ell before he understood, lest his QnckneSS OF APP
prehension Should bequrStIonetl; Learning pauSsd
where there was nO difficulty, lest an inSInouS
SOphiSm should lie undiscovered. Wit perplexetl
every debate by rnpldIty aud confusion; Learnin,
tired the hearers with endless distinctions, and
prolonged the dispute without advantage, by prov.
Ing that which was never denied! Wit III hopes
Of shining, would venture 10 produce what he had
not conSidtred, and often succeeded beyond his
own expectations. by following the train oil a
lucky thought. Learning would reject every new
notion, for feat of being emtangled III consequences
which he could not forSee, aud was often hinder
ed, by her caution, from pressing her advantages,
and subduing her oppUnent. Both had preiudiceS,
winch in SOHI5 degree hIndeTed their progress TO-
wards perfection, and lett them open to attack
Novelty was the darling Of Wit, and antiquity OF
Learning. To Wit all that was new was SpecIouS,
TO Learning, whatever was ancient was venerable.
Wit however SELDOM failed 10 divert those W hon
he could not convince, and TO conviLce was not
often his ambltlon; Learning always supported
her opinion with so many collateral truths, Ihnt,
when the case was decided against her, her argm-
ments were remembered with admiration. Moth
ing was more common. on either side, than 10
quit their proper characters, nd 10 hope for Com
pletc Conquest by the use OF the weap MS which
had beeT employed against them. Wit WauI Ii,
labor sYllogSm, aud Learning dStort her features
with jest; but they always suffered By The ex-
pertinent, and betrayed themselves 10 confutalion
OF contempt. The seriousness of Wit was with
out dignity, aud the meEiment OF Learning, with
out vlvncIty. Their contests, by long continu-
ance, grew at last important, and the divlnities
biOke into pirlieS. Wit was taken into prutec-
lion OF th= laughter-oving Venus, had retinue
allowed lin Smiles and Jests, and was permitted
to dance among the GraceS. Learning sill con-
tInued the lavorlte OF Minerva, and seldom went
out Of her palace, without train of severer viz
tues, Charity, Temperance, FUTtitude and Labor.
Wit cohabitlng with Malice, had a sun named
Satyr, who followed him, currying culver filed
with poisoned arrows, which wllen they once drew
blood, could by no skill be extracted. These ar
rows he frequently shot at Learning, wien she
was mtSt earnestly or uSeGul'y employed, en- aged
IN abStTuSe inquiries, or giving instruction 10 her
followers, Minerva therfuTe depuled Criticism TO
her aid, who generally broke the point of Satyts
FukIi bEm mr. TstnF IaI 49,,
himself.
Jupiter was at last angry, that the peace
OF the heavenly regions should be i'll perpet-
ual danger OF volatiOn, aud resolved To dismiss
these Troublesome antagonists 10 the lower world.
dItheT therefore they came, and carried on their
ancient quarrel among mnrtalS, nor was either
long without Jealous votar1eS. itby his gaiety,
caPtlva'et the young; aud LEARNING, by her az
thoTIsy, influenced the old. Their power quickly
appeared Gy very eminent effects, theatres were
built Tor the reception of Wit, and colleges ell
dowed for The residence of Learning Each party
endenvoted to outvie the other IN cost aud mag
hihcencr, and TO propagate an opinion tina; it
was necessary from the first entrance into life, TO
enlist IN one OF the factions. and that none could
hIPe Ior the regard OF either divinity, who had
once entered the temple Of The nvaI power.
There were indeed class of mortals, by WHOM
wit anu LeaEn.ng were equally jiSregardrd:
these were the drvoteeS of PuluS the god of rlch-
~
ely Il Wit could raise smile, or the eloquence OF
Learning procure attention. In revenge OF this
contempt they agreed TO incite their followers a.
galESt them; but the forces that were sent on
those expeditions frequently betrayed lheit trust;
and, in contempt OF the orders which they had re-
ceived. fiattered the rich in public, while the y
scorned them in their hearts; aud when hy this
tteachery, they had obtained The favor of Plntns
elected 10 IoOE with air of superiority on those
who still remained in the strvice oil Wit AID
Learning.
Disguised with these d,sertions, the Two rivals,
at the same time, pettioneu Jupiter Tor re adns-
Siou 10 their native haLlLtions. Jupiter thunder.
ed on tie right hand, aud they prepared to obey
the happy summons VII readily spre nd his wings
aud scared alott, but no. being able To see far,
was hewidered i'll the paih!esS immensely OF The
ethereal spaces. Learning. who knew The way,
shook her pintons; but for want of natural yigor
could only take Short flights; so, alter many ef-
forts they both sunk again to the ground, aud
learned, IRON their mutual distress, tie neceSsit,
ofuninn. earning was borne up BY the vlgOr OF
vii, ard wit guidedhy The peTspieacity OF Learn
ing. They Soonreache,lllhe dwellings of Jupiter,
aud were so tnJearrtl 10 each other tbv nv