The American patriot., 1855-10-20

glass full before my eyes, | no sooner saw my
face in it, but was startled at the shortness of
it, which now appeared to me in its utmost
aggravation. The immoderate breadth of the
features made me very much out of humor
with my own countenance, upon which
threw it from me like mask. It happened
very luckily, that one who stood by me, had
just before thrown down his visage, which, it
seems, was too long for him. It was, indeed
extended to most shameful length; l believe
the very chin was, modestly speaking, as long
as my whole face. We had both of us all op-
portunity Of mending ourselves, and, all the
contributions being now brought in, every man
was at liberty to exchange his misfortune for
those Of another person. But as there arose
many new incidents in the sequel of nv vis-
ion, shall reserve them for the subject Of my
next paper
Were it not just that Jove provok'd to heat,
Should drive these triAers from the haow'd seat,
And unrelentng stand when they retreat?
| HoRNEcK.
In my last paper, I gave my reader sight
of that mountain of miseres, which was made
up of those several calamities that afllict the
minds Of men. | saw, with unspeakable plea
sure, the whole species thus delivered from its
sorrows; though, at the same time, as we stood
round the heap, and surveyed the several ma.
terias of which it was composed. there was
scarce mortal, in this vast multitude, who did
not discover what he thought pleasures and
blessings of life; and wondered how the own
ers of them ever came to look upon them as
burthens and grievances.
| As we were regarding very attentively this
confusion of mseries, this chaos of calamity
Jupiter issued out second proclamation, that
every one was now at liberty to exchange his
affliction, and to return to his habitation, with
any such other bundle as should be delivered
| to him.
Upon this, fancy began again to bestir her.
SELF and parcelling out the whole heap will,
incredible activity, recommended to every one
his particular packet. The hurry and confu-
sion at this time was not to be expressed
Some observations which made on the coca
sion, I shall communicate to the public A
venerable grey-headed man, who had laid down
the cho'c, and who, found, wanted an heir
to his estate, snatched mp an undutiful son,
that had been thrown into the heap by his
angry father The graceless youth, in less
than quarter of an hour, pulled the old gen.
tlcmsn by the beard, and had like to have
knocked his brains out; so that, meeting the
true father, who came towards him, in fit OF
the gripcs, he begged him to take his son
again, and give him back his cholic; but they
were incapable, either of them, to recede from
the choice they had made. A poor galley
slave, who had thrown down his chains, took
up the gout in their stead, but made such wry
faces, that one might easily perceive ne was
no great gamer by the bargain. 1t was pleas.
ant enough to see the several exchanges that
were made, for sickness against poverty, hun
ger against want of appetite, and care against
pain.
Hhe female world were very busy among
themselves in bartering for features; one was
trucking a lock of grey hairs for carbunce,
another was making over short waist for a
pair of round shoulders, and a third cheapen-
ing bad face for a lost reputation: but on all
these occasions, there was not one of them
who did not think the new blemish, as soon as
she had got it into her possession, much more
disagreeable than the old one l made the
same observation on every other misfortune OF
calamity, which every one in the assembly
brought upon himself, in lieu of what he had
parted with; whether it be, that all the evils
which befal us, are in some measure suited
and proportioncd to our strength, or that every
evil becomes more supportable by our being
accustomed to it, shall not determine.
could not, for my heart forbear pitying
the poor hump-backed gentleman mentioned
in the former paper, who went off a very we'll
shaped person with stone in his bladder; no,
the fine gentleman who had struck up this bar
gain with him, that limpcd through whole
assembly of ladies who used to admire him
with pair of shoulders peeping over his
head.
must not omit my own particular adven
ture. My friend with the long visage, had ne
sooner taken upon him my short face, but h,
made such grotesque figure in it, that as
looked upon him, I could not forbcar laughing
at myself insomuch that | put my own FACE
out of countcnance. The poor gentleman wa
so sensible of the ridicule, that | found he was
ashamed of what he had done: on the othel
side, found that l myself had no great reason
to triumph, for as | went to touch my fore
head, missed the place, and clapped my fin
ger upon my upper lip Besides, as my nos'