Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1855-01-17
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UNCLE BILL.

tIClG Oiil IrIlIiiiI, Of y uc1c Dill, DIS he WAS
commonly called, with an irreverent disre-
gard of his patronymic, did not retire from the
ship chandlery business till he was worth
something more than plum. Not being bles-
sed with son to continue bis name and in
herit his fortune, he lavished all his tender
ness and all his care upon his daughter. Sweet
Molly Griffin, thou vert as unlike thy papa as
a canary bird is unlike a bulldog His face
was as hard as Dutch nut-cracker-t as
soft as rose-leaf. He was the vcriest miser
in all creation-thou didst spend thy pocket
money as prince of Wales. In his house
hold managements Uuclc Bill was 4 consum-
mate skin-fint; tradition says that he used TO
soak the back-logs in the cistern, and water
the lamp oil, and he was aided and abetted i'll
all his niggardly schemes 10y a yinigar-faced
housekeeper, who was the sworn enemy of all
good cheer, and stiuted from pure love Of
meanness. Yet pretty Mary had no reason to
complain of her fathers pcnuriousness, as far
rs she was concerned. He sent her to the
best schools, and gave her a carte blanche on
the most expensive milliners, and when she
walked Washington street on 4 sunny day,
there was not more gaily dressed damsel
from CornhiIlto Essex street.
OF course, several nice young men in warm
iSIcd leather and white kids, fell over head
and ears in love with her, and there was a lar
ger number collected outside OF the meeting
she attended on Sunday than darkened the
door Of any other metropolitan church.
Yet cold was the maid. and tho legions advanced
All drilled in 0yedian art,
Though they ianguished and ogled, protested and
danced
Like shadows they came, and like shadows they
glanced
From the pure polished ice of her heart.
Besides, Uncle Bill was q formidable guar
dian to his attractive daughter. Did he not
fire charge of rock salt into the inexpressi-
blcs of Tom Billl<ins, when he came serana-
ding with cracked guitar! Didn't he threat
en- to kick Towle for leaving valentine at
his door Wasn't he capable of unherd-of
atrocitiesl The suitors Of pretty Mary were
all frightened offthe course by her ogre of a
father, except steady young fellow who re-
ioiced in the name Of Sampson Bittles, and
who was addicted 10 bookkeeping in whole
sale grocery store in Commercial street. The
old gentleman really liked Bittles; llc was so
staid, so quiet, and so full of information. lie
was a regular price current, and no man on
change was better acquainted with the price
of stocks. Why Mary liked him, it is more
difficult to conjecture, for he was very def
cient in the small talk that ladies are so fond
of, was avcrse to moustaches, dislilled the
opera, thought the ballet immoral, and con-
sidcred waltzing indelicate. Perhaps his good
looks compensated for other defcncies. or
perhaps the horrors of fdying in a state of sim
gle blessedncss, induced her to countenance
the only young man Uncle Bill was ever
known to tolerate.
One evening Bittlcs screwed up his courage
to the task Of addressing the old man on the
subject nearest to his heart.
Mr.. Griffin said he, .I've had something
here for long time, and he made up hor-
rible face, and placed his hand somewhat near
his heart.
Dyspepsia? p said the old man.
Your daughter,' gasped the young one.
Well what about her?' asked UucIe BIZ
sharpishly.
sI'm in love with her. said the unhappy
clerk
THumbugl' said Uncle Bill.
Fact 2? rcjoined Bittles.
What's your income p inquired Griffin,
Eight hundred, answered the sIpplicant.
1T wont do my boy said Griffin, shaking
his grim locks sNo man on salary shall mar
ry my daughter. Why, she's the finest girl
in Boston, and it takes capital to marry fine
girl. When you have thirty thousand dollars
to begin with, you may come and talk with
me-
Bittlcs disappeared. Six months after that
Miss Mary Griffin received letter, with an
endorsement of Uncle Sam, acknowledging
the receipt of forty cents. 1t ran thus:
sSAN Francisco, California, 1852.
Dearest Mary
Enclosed you will find specimen of Cal
ifornia gold, which please hand your father,
and oblige. Have to advise you of my return.
to Boston. Please tell your father that have
made fifty thousand dollars at the mines, and
shall, wind and weather permitting, soon call
upon him to talk over that matter, and arrange,
terms Of partnership.
Yours to command,
SAMPSON BIrTLEs.'
Mary, as in duty bound, handed the epistle
TO her father, who was oEerjoyed.
Some weeks elapsed, and the return of the
steamer to New York was telegraphed. Grif-
fin was on the qui vive TO see his future SON.
in-law.
On the day ofhis expected arrival, ne met
a Californian who came home in the same
ship.
R;ttIa. la inor;rad