The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1855-07-14
Living by Ones Wits.

Rhine. A jew who wished to go to Scha.
lampi, was allowed to come on board and
journey with them on condition that he
would conduct himself with propricty, and
give the captain eighteen kreutzers for bis
passage.
Now, i. is true, something jins'ed in the
Jews pocket when he struck his hand
against it (; but the only money there was
therein was twelve kreutzer piece, for the
other was brass button. Notwithstanding
this, he accepted the offer with gratitude /,
for he thought to himself something may
be earned, even upon the water. There is
many man who has grown rich upon the
Rhine"
During the first part OF the voyage the
passengers were very talkatvc and merry,
and the Jew, with his wallet under his arm
for he did not lay it aside-was the object Of
much mrth and mockery, as. alas is often
the case with those OF his nation. But as
the vessel sailed onward, and passed Thu
rington and St. Veit, the passengers, ono
after the other, grew silent, and gazcd down
the river, until one spoke out:
"Come, Jew, do you know any pastime
that will amuse usy Your fathers must
have contrived many nm one during their
long stay in the wilderness
"Now is the time" til ught the Jew, "to
shear my sheep" And he proposed that
they should sit round in n circle, and pro.
pound very curious questions to each other,
and he, with their permission, would sit
down with them. Those who could not an.
swer the qu"stions, should pay the one who
propOunded them u twelve kreutzcr piece !;
and those who answered them pcrinently,
should receive twelve krcu,z.r piece
The proposal pleased the company, and
hoping to divert themselves with the Jews
wit or stupidity, each one asked at random
whatever entered his head.
Thus, for example, the first one asked
"IIow many soft boiled eggs could the gi.
ant Goliah eat upon an empty stomach -
All said that it was impossible to answer
that question, and each paid over his twelve
krrutzcrs
But the Jew said "Onc; for he who has
eaten one egg cannot eat a second one on an
empty stomach" And the others paid him
twelve krcutzers.
The second thought, wait jew, and I will
try you out Of the New Testament, and
think shall win my piece: "Why did the
Apostle Paul write the second epistlc to the
Corii thians.'
The Jew said because he was not in
Corihth, otherwise he would have spoken to
them So he won another twelve kreu,zer
piece.
When the third saw the jew so well vers.
ed in the Bible, he tried him in a different
way "Who pro!ongs his work to as great
length as possible, and yet completes i, in
time ~
"The rope maker, if he is industrious"
said the Jew.
In the meanwhile they drew near to vii
lage, and one said to the other, THAT is
Bamlach." The fourth asked, an what
month do the people Of Bamlach eat the
cast:'
The Jew said, an February, for tha. has
only twenty.eght days"
The fifth said, There are two natural
brothers, and still only one of them is my
uncle"
The Jew said, "The uncle is your fathers
brother, and your father is not your uncle"
flsh now jumped ort of the water. and
the sixth asked "What fish have their eyes
nearest together"
The Jew said, "The smallest"
The seventh asked, GLOW can man ride
from Baslc TO Bcrne in the shade, in the
summer time, when the sun shincs?"
The jew said, when he comes to a place
where there is no shade, he must dismount
and 60 on foot"
The eighth asked, "When man rides in
the winter time from Borne to Basle, and has
forgotten his gloves, how must he manage
so that his hands shall not freeze"
The jew said, ale must make fists OF
them"
The ninth was the last This one asked,
Glow can five persons divide five eggs so
tha, cnch man shall receive one, and stu one
remain in the dish."
The jew said, "The last must take the
dish with the egg, and he can let it lay there
as long as he plenscs."
But it now came his turn, and he dctermi-
ned to make good sweep. After many pre-.
liminary compliments, he asked, with an
air Of mischevous fri,ndlincss,
"How can man fry two trouts in three
pans, so that trout may lay in each pan Z"
No one could answer this. and one after
the other gave him twelve kreutzer piece.
But when the ninth desired tha, he should
answer it himself, he frankly acknowledged
that he Knew not how the trout could be fri.
ed in such a way!
Then it was maintained that this was un-
fair in the Jew, but he stoutly affirmed that
there was no provision for it in the agree.
men', save that he who could not answer
hequpstions should pay the kreu,zers, and
he fulfilled the agreement by paying that sum
tn the ninth Of his comrades who had asked
him to solve it himself But they all being
rich merchants, and grateful for the amuse.
ment which hal passed an hour or two very
pleasantly for them, laughed heartily over
their loss, and at the Jews cunning.