Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1855-08-18
The Borrowed Calf.

ing IN the cognomen OF sugar, lhus
gives his experience in counting:
The only objection ever made TO me in
this ere country, as q legislator, was made
by the wimnin, cause / war a bachelor,
and | never told you arore why l remain
ell in state of number one. No feller
STAYS single premeditated, and in course a
hansum feller like me, who all the gals dc
clar to be as enticin as a iaybird, wasn't
goin to stay alone il he could help it. i
did see a creatur once named Sofy Mason,
up the Cumberland, nigh unto Nashville,
Tennessee, that / took an orful hankcrin
arter, and sot into lookin anxious for ma
trimony and gin to go regular to meet
in, and took to dressin tremengeous fnii-
ed, iist so see If | could win her good opin-
ion. Sho did to look at me kind O shy,
list as hoss does at sumthin he's scared
at, when, arter champin at distance for
a while, sided up to her and blurted out
few words about the sarmin. She says
YES but cuss me if knew whether that
was the right answer ornot, and I'm think
ing she did mt know, nuther. We'll, we
larfed and talked leetlc all the way long
to her daddy's, and thar Civ her the best
bend / had in me, and raised my bran new
hat as peert and perlite as minister, look
in all the time so enticin that l sot the gal
tremblin. Her old daddy had a powerful
numerous lot of healthy niggers, and lived
right jinin my place, while on the other
side lived Jake Simons, sneakin, cute
vSrmint, who war wusser than miser fur
stingness, and no sooner did this cused
scrpint see me sidin up to Sofy, than he
went to slickin up, too, and sot himself
to work to cut me out. That ar wur a
struggle ekil to the battle Of Orleans. Furst
sum new tixup O. Jake's would take her
eye, and then I'd sport sumthin that would
outshine him, until at last Jake gin in try
in to outdress me, and sot thinking Of sum-
thin else. Our farms wur jist the same
number of acres, and we both owned three
niggsrs apiece. Jake knew that Sofy and
her dad kept sharp lookout for the main
chance, SO he thort he'd clar me out by
buyin another nigger; but l follored suit,
and bought one the day after he got his, sc
he had no advantage thar. He then Go
a cow, and so did !, and jist about ther
both of our pusses gin out This pu
Jake to his wits eend, and | war a won
derin what in the yearth he would try next
We stood so, hip and thigh, for abou
two weeks, both ov us kin to sweet So
fly, whenever we could get her alone.
) thort seed that Jake, the sneekin cuss
war gittin mile ahead ov me, cause hi
tongue war so iley; however. | did mt la
on, but keep a top eye on him. One Sun
f day mornin wur leetle late to mcetin
and when got thar, the furst thing see
wur Jake sittin close bang up agin Sofy
in the same pew with her daddy. bile
awhile with wrath, and then turned soul
1 could taste myself. Thar they war, sing
in hims out en- the same book. Jeheminy
! fellers, wur so enormous mad that tn
new silk handkerchief around my neck los
1 its color. Arter meetin war out the walk
ed linked arms, a smilin and lookin Q
pleased as young couple at their frs
christinin; and Sofa turned her cold Chou
der to me SO orful, that | wilted dow
) and gin right up straight-Jake had he
t sartin; thar war no disputin it. | heade
II it for home, with my hands so fur IN M
trowsers pocket as / cenld git EN-, swea
e in all tine way that she wur the last one th
J. would ever git chance to rileup my fee
ms. Passin by Jake $ plantation, lool
y ed over the fence, and thar stood an e!
J. planation of the hui matter, right facin tt
road, where every one passin could see
. his consarned COW was tied to a stal
~ in the garden, with most promisin ca
:o along side ofher. The calfjust soured n
% milk, and made Soly think that fell
: who was always gettin ahead like ia
:, war right smart chance for a lively hu
IL band.'
T. A shout Of laughter here drowned Sugar
!, + voice. AS soon as silence was restore
10 he added, in a solemn voice, with one e
le N shut, and his forefnger pointed at his aul
= tory:
!, l, What was a cussed sight wussen tn
~ his gettin Sofy, was the fact that he borro
= ed the cclf the night afore ofDich Harle,
\ After the varmint got Sofy hitche,l, he tc
- the Joke all over the settlement and
- boys never seed me afterward that tn
10 10 didn't bah at me for lettin q calf cut l
~ out of gals affection. I'd stot Jake, t
70 | thort it wur free country, and the {
=, :, had right to choose, without bein ma
f ~ widdoer so lust sold out and travel'
u " I've always thort since then, boys, vii
y ~ min wur a good deal like licker-of y
~ love 'em too hard, they're sure to thr'
% % you some way
I'd ONLY IN FUN.-At baptism in
l. western part of Kentucky, few wee
since, az girl of shy disposition, about
- be immersed, very naturally resisted
w attempts to lead her to the water, and
:! ter a short struggle began to sob and