Smyrna times., 1855-08-22
WHOLE NO, 23O.
Pulling the WrCng Bell,

EuillnS Ch6 wrong Bell
a fine western steamer Of the largest class
was plOwmg her way dnWn stream with Il " iuli
head on. The tame was early morning the
sun had not vet cooled his fiery beams in the
murky waters of tue Aiiss-spp few OF the
passengers were astir, and the boat quiet and
stlil, save the regular scream from her IRON
throat, was making tine hcad"ay. Suddenly
the engineer bell rang out 4 furious and alarm
lng summons, which being translated into the
vernacular, meant SLOW her :" The man at
the steam o6eyed the mandate, and with his
hand upon the lever awaited anXiously the
call.
1t soon camc, and louder yet, =" Stop her :"
"Some trouble ahead,' thought the engineer;
but hcafdy had the idea passed through his
nind, when the busy bell again peaed forth:
Back her -
Steam was let on in an instant, and sezing
the lever the man commenced working the ell
gne by hand; but the wheel had not yet COM
nleted the first retrcgrade revolution, when u
louder naturalization tinkled out successfully:
Co ahead -
"SlOw her."
&" Back herr
Go ahcad!'
Having obeyed the command, and supposing
all was right at last, the man quilted his post
for moment and stepped out upon the guards
to see what tae trouble had been, when sudden
ly the cvor-busy bell again Was heard:
" SLOW her -
Before he could put his hand upon the screw,
the bell again ordered:
"Stop her!" Immediately after, Back herr
and /" Go ahead ~
Instead ofot going ahead, the engineer scratch
ed ms ow:, and the applying his mouth to the
speaking tube, addressed the pilot thus-but
stop, let us tnrn for a moment 10 the pilot, and
see what was going on in his dunnions.
This gentleman had teen but II few minutes
at his post, and was not fairly awake when the
bell commenced its mysterious operations; but
sleepy as tie was, the queer antics. of the toat,
and the strange language of the steam-pipe, eX-
cited his attention, aud he had arrived at the
conclusion that something was wrong, at the
same moment that identical idea had forced
Itself upon the engineer; SO applying his mouth
at the end of the tube, the following remarks
went up and down simultaneously
" What in thunder are you about up there l'
" hat IN thunder are you about down there I"
Having, like two vessels about commencing
an engagement, fired their shots across their
bows, the twain went Immediately in action as
! follows:
Pllot-Who told you to " stop her" and
! back her }"
Engineer-You did. What did you ring the
bell for twenty times!
j Pilot-Eou must be a nice fellow to trust
Mr. "ketties," to get drunk before SUNRISE
Call your mate ana turn in.
Enginccr-DIunk drund yourself. Ihavn't
had drop; aud you're just lying drunk that's
what it is
Piiot--I.ook here, "old Kettles hold on
bit and I'll be down on you like a thousand of
brick.
Engineer-Don't trouble yourself to come
down. I'll be up to You in two shakes, and
then We'll see who is drunk and who is not
Now THIS backing and filling had excited the
attention of officers and crew, and as the pilot
and engineer having obtained relief met half
way down on the bollerdeck, ca plain and clerk.
mate and steward, barkeepcr aud chambermaid,
all FASTENED to the post OF observation, and ere
the two combatanls could JOIN issue they were
seized and held, and an investigation Of the at
fair was entered into
) nile all this was in progress neither boat
nor bell had been touched, but the same SIN
guiar succession of orders was going on and
T The two ASSISTANTS above and below. were 1nedi-
tatlng little affair ot their own, when that oi
4 the principals had been settled.
The mystery was apparently past solution
but the captain bethough him of a possible
} cause, and stepping to a statc-room in the " so
clal hail. cked The door open, and there stood
a lanky young Teuncssecan who had embark
cd at Memphis the previous night, very actively
5 jerking cord that ran through his room in the
: further corner.
Se!zlng him by the collar, the captain de-
p manded "What are you about -
= "About - answered the Tcnnessceau, "why
: don't you see rm ringing for my boots !"