The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-09-05
The editor of the Albany Register gives

man, we were, the last time the Old gene
ran for the presidency, and whenever g
Jackson runs for that Office shall be so aga
We lived in the country then, and had a neig
Dor who was on the other side Of the polite
fence, who was great dealer in horses. Wei
we got into an argument with him one da
and so sure was he of success, that he offer
to bet a horse against fifty dollars that the Q
hero of New Orleans would not be electe
We took the bet. The argument being o
that has no end, was renewed from time
time with the same result, until FIVE horses
one side, and $3.50 on the other were stake
on the issue Of the election. We won. B
we had forgot to designate the animals, al
such lot of horses as was rendered in pa
ment Of the bet was a sight to see. If the
was an ailment to which horse flesh is subjec
that was not exhibited by one of these fy
horses, we should like to be informed of i
diagonis. There was ringbone, and spawn
and stringhalt and blindness, and heaves; an
one venerable old roadster had all these, an
In addition was deaf as a post. We kept ther
week as a collection of curiositles in the ami
NAL line, and then sold them at auction. Ac
cording to our recollection, -four of them sold 70
forty dollars, in the aggregate, and we gave
tin peddler ten for taking the other. We hay
not bet on elections since, and don't want t
win any more horses.
One Thompson Carlisle publishes card il
Kentucky paper, forbidding any one to har
Dor or trust bis wife, as he shall not pay hel
debts. The indignant spouse comes back al
him in the following strain: at is false that
left my home without any cauee or provoca-
ton. l had pork and bread for my breakfast,
pork and bread for my dinner, pork and bread
for my supper; and because I wanted coffee
for my breakfast, he raised chair to knock
my brains out. He said what was good for
him was good for me. I took my oath of this
before esquire Owens some time ago. Through
false pretences and lies he got me to sign away
my dover, and the last time went be drove
me out of the yard. One Sunday he drove
me out of the house for telling thatI saw him
go early, before any one was up, and bring
home boards ON his back He forbid my milk |
woman to bring but pint-it was so extrava-
gant-half of it was thrown into the swill
She told him [ wanted mush. He said pint
was plenty. So for my pork and bread again,
and sometimes huge catfish skinned alive.
Besides all this abuse, he sold the last thing l
held dear on earth-a pet cali, that never cost
him any thing am the wife Of old Carlisle,
and he shall support me. ANN CARLISLE"
Pat Mozart was a. broth Of a boy and al
together as 'dacent' man and as handy with
a spade as any of the whole FIVE hundred who
were at work upon the railroad, then and now
In process of building in northern part of the
State of Ohio. He was great favorite with
the oFerseer, on account of his faithfuness and
integrity of character-but he had one fault
that sorely grieved his employer. Though as
sober as sexton for six days in the week,
Pat could never resist the temptations of pay
day. and when Saturday came round never
failed to get as drunk as a lord Having tried
every other reformatory expedient in vain, the
oFerseer at length bethought of the priest, who
prevailed on Pat to take the PLEDGE and sent
him On his way rejoicing. But, alas! the next
pay day was too many for poor Pat, who,
staggering through the village at noon, met no
less parsonage than the priest who had at
tempted to reform him. You're lost, Pat
entirely lost'-said his reverence, with a sigh
of genuine sorrow. Pat was bewildered for a ,,
moment, but having stared about him till he !,
had fairly ascertained his local whereabouts,
he exclaimed triumphanuy -'Lostl- it lost I
l am?-lost in broad daylight. half way be- :
tween Jimmy stacy's grocery and the court
house?-to the devil wild yer nonsense!'
The Portland Transcript tells asgood story : !.
of col. M, living in Washington county, Me-, :
who had great aptitude for serving as Juror. :
When thus serving, he had very great anxi- !
ETY. that his opinion should be largely consult :
ed in making up verdict. Some years ago,
while upon case, after many hours trial to !
agree but failing, he marshalled the delin-
quent jury from the room to their seats in the
court, where the impatient crowd awaited the '
result of the trial. f'Have you agreed upon a
a verdict" inquired the clerk Colonel NJ /
arose, turned whitening glance upon his bro
ther jurors, and exclaimed, "may it please the {
court, we have not, have done the best
could do, but here are eleven of the most con
trary devils ever had any dealings with
A writer in the Christian Witness says of g
the late bishop Griswold that not one man in 1
ever gave so little trouble to his \
friends. What be could do for himself he al I
lowed none to do for him. He was newer of {
wood and drawer of water, made his own I
fires, polished bis own boots, carried his va S
lise. and did his own errands.
We hurry through life fearful, as it would |
seem, of looking back, lest we should be turn. G
ed, like Lots wife, into pillars of salt And, /
alasl if we did look back, very often we should {
see nothing but the blackened and shoulder |
ing ruins Of our vices, the smoking Sodom and
Gomorrah of the heart. Il
mother should give her children super
fluffy of enthusiasm that after they have lost (
all they will lose on mixing with the world, s
enough may still remain to support them
through great actions. A cloak should be of c
three ply, to keep its gloss. 4
ftAh'' said mischievous wag TO lady ac- /
quaintance of proud aristocratic caste, Il /
perceive you have been learning trade.
Learning tradc!" replied the naughty /
lame, looking needles and pins. "indeed you a
are very much mistaken Q
"Oh!" said the wicked wag, II thought by
The look Of your checks that you had turned n
painter!' b
The wag slid instanter--the lady saved her
'elf from fainting by drinking handy glass a
Of water L
A spindle shanked dandy, says Putnam,
$ ragrant, inasmuch as che has no visible {
means Of support" 0
Might not a publican, who having been un-
ortunate in business and re5pened his house, b
,e termed republican, liz