The Trinity times., 1855-03-31
Doesticks has His Fortune Told.

| To THE EDITOR OF THE n. Y. TRiBUNs.--
Respected Sir AS the appearance of
my humble cognomen in your journal con-
duces so much to the qualification of some of
your Wal-st. neighbors. have resolved,
with your leave, and for their especial delec-
tation, to indite letter now and then as
special contribution to your hospitaole col
umns-the first Of which is here offered for
your consideration and the public's. Should
it prove acceptable, others shall fdllow--and
so, without further prelude, let me proceed to
describe visit lately made by me to a GER
tain fortune telling den uptown.
Since the memorable day of that visit my
destiny is no longer a mystery. ! know it all.
| know what kind of woman I'm to marry,
how many children we're to have, how many
will die of measles, and how many will be
choked with the Group, and can calculate to
quart how much castor oil shall have to
| lay in for family consumption. I've had my
fortune told by witch The witches of
modern times do not frequent graves and
gbbets at midnight, to collect The marrow Of
innocent babes, and grease that's sweater
from the murderer's gibbet,' as choice in
gradients for their incantations-they hold no
nocturnal orgies with dancing skeletons and
corpses, brought by the black art back to tenn
porary liie-they now a days take no pains to
conceal their trade, but advertise it in the
daily papers Their believers are not now the
great men and wise women of the earth, but
chamber maids and servant girls, who want
love- powders to win some noble swain, or
some verdant countryman anxious to recover
the pfered eelslin which contained his trea-
sured pennies. They easily satisfy these gull
lible customers, by promising the first no end
ofrich, handsome princes, who are to appear
some day and carry off their brides in four
horses coaches; and the latter by an extern.
poraneous description of the thief, and q wish
that he may suffer pains in his head, heart,
liver, and all other important parts of his
body, until the property is restored. Witch
craft is rife in our midst, and we do not hang
or burn the hags aud bedames who practice
it, or stick them full of needless or duck them
in the horse ponds, as in the good old days
of Salem-more's the pity.
In this day Of railroads and three-cent
stages, they have no occasion to perform
their journeys upon broomsticks; and in our
city, where cream is only traditionary, they
cannot bewitch their neighbors' churnings,
or throw their dire enchantments over the
incipent cheese-so the protective horse
| shoe is OF no avail.
They have robbed the trade Of all its mys
terry and romance; we hear no more of
mighty magian, with hoary beard and flow
ing robe, with magic wand and attendant
spirits no more wierd sisters with talon
fingers and sunken eyes; not even romantic
wandering gipsies-but ugly women, with
unwashed hands, who can't spell. The call
ing has degenerated, and the necromantic
trade has passed into the hands of unworthy
successors, who would steal their living, if
cheating wasn't easier. And the trade
thrves, and the swindIing practcers thereof
haunt in silks, while honest virtue slaves off
d stitution by making hickory shirts at
| eight cents apiece.
For at this time of triumphant and success
| ful humbug-when indiscrimiuate puifery is
! freely used to boost into notice all kinds of
sham, deception and deceit, which thereupon
| grow fat and thrlve-when vermin exterm-
nators, lucifer matches, and patent backing
employ such high flown language in commen-
daton Of their merits, that inventions Of real
merit and Importance must resort To- the
bases bomoast to keep pace with the fooery
of their neighbors solid merit which
lcoald succeed must vie in euphuistic phrase
with brainless emptiness which lCN--when,
in Literature, inane collections Of stolen wit.
diluted humor, and feeble fiction are spawned
in scores from weak Drained fops and aspr-
ing women, inflated by unsparng puffcry into
n transient notorlety, and palmed Upon the
public as works Of sterling merit-when even
these Doestlck Letters are purchased and pc
rused it may easily be imagined that no i'm
pudent humbug, if properly managed will
turn the stomach of the enlightened Yankee
Nation.
Having read the advertisement of a Grand
street fortune teller, who advertised herself
the seventh daughter of seventh daughter
a lineal descendant from some of the Egyp-
tan magitlans who couldn't kill the frogs
straightway resolved to pay her visit.
Went up town, found the house, rung the
bell and was shown into shabby room by
suffering girl, who informed me by install
ments that her mistress would see me pre-
sently. Examined the furniture-rlckety ta-
Bile, ditto chairs, bare floor with knot-holes in
it, unctuous mirror, two hair trunks, n clothes
basket, and hat box. Enter mistress
minus youth. beauty hair>pins and clean
stockings. Che wore no flowing robe figured
with cabaistic signs, she bore no sable wand
Of magic but she was clad in a calico dress,
and had brass candlestick in her hand-she
drew no mystic circle, she performed no in
scrutbe incanations, she spoke in no un-
known tongue but she put the candlestck
on the rickety table, sat down in a cane-bot-
toned chair. and asked me what my name
was and what wanted. Told her | wanted
to find out who was going to marry, and
wanted her to tell me lucky number in the
lottery, which should draw prize big enough
to support the iamly-also wanted descrlp-
ton Of the man who stole my jack knife, and
knowledge Of the place where could find
the same Now she began to work-she did
not consult the stars--she did not cut my
horoscope--she did not even ask me where
was born or wha, my father did for living
she exhibited no strange pdrapherBalia Of
sorcery and cOnjuration--no obscure Ian
puage, suggestive Of dlvination or enchant-
meni, fell from her prophetic lips. She only
asked me if | had any moles on my person,
and what dreamed about lr~' nght--then
plunglng her hand through slit in the side
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