True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1855-03-22
THE JUDGES BIG SHIRT.

here he was invited to attend a gay and
fashionable party, to be given the following
evening, at the residence of Judge B..
The visiting Judge was terribly perplexed
about clean shirt for the occasion, and
while resolving in his mind how he should
possess himself of the desired article Gin
those days ready-made shirts were not, as
now, articles of merchandise he was cal,
led on at his room by Mr.. C, another
limb of the law, but not Judge. After
passing the usual compliments, Judge
A remarked: "See here, Mr.. c.,
l have just been invited to attend party
tomorrow night, and l haven't clean
shirt for the occasion, Hoping, no doubt,
his friend would proffer the loan of one Of
his. But being a bit of wagand relishing
a good joke amazingly. he concluded to
have little fun, and at the same time
learn his judicial friend lesson concern.
ing his negligent custom. "Oh!" said he,
"there's no difficulty about that. l can
have you one made"
"But do you think it can be finished in
time?" said Judge A..
"Nodoubt about it. I have shirt.ma
ker who is perfectly prompt and reliable,
and can vouch .or its being ready"
"All right, then, if you'll be sure and
attend to it." ... ..
"You may depend on it," said the
Judges friend. at shall be here by half
past six to morrow evening"
G, in going home that night cal
led at the lady's and ordered her to 90 to
SIS store, get nine yards of bleached do
mestic's and three yards of linen, and make
a shirt ofit for Judge 4, and de-
liver it at his room on the following even
ing, at half-past six precisely, and charg-
ing her particularly there was to be no dis
and not to deliver sooner or
later than half.past six.
"But Mr. c." expostulatcd the
woman, "you mean three shirts, don't
you, out ofnine yards?"
"Do as I tell you, Madame, Don't you
suppose know what size shirt is required
by my friend?'
Early the next morning the cloth was
and the making of the shirt en-
cred upon. About six o'clock in the
9vehing, c., all attired, and ready
Or the party, called on the Judge, when
lc was saluted on his entrance with
"See here, that shirt has not been sent
Tct."
ooh" says G., pulling out his watch,
'it is not time yet, it lacks a quarter to the
time, for I told her to have it here by half
past SIX"
The couple chatted away while when
presently tirnid knock at the door was
heard. Judge jumped to open
it, when little girl asked if that was
Judge As room?
Being answered afirmatively, she contin-
shirt Mr. G. told my moth
or to make for you"
"All right, my nice little Miss" and
began to prepare for donning
the much coveted garment, remarking, sit
is well made and handsomely done up too.
Smart woman that Mrs. c."
"Oh! yes; l knew she would not disap-
point you in any respect"
By this time the Judge had commenced
pulling it over him. He pulled, and pull
led, as yard after yard passed, and still
his head was envcloped in the shirt. He
Of its size, but his friend told
him he had got it twisted, but ohury on,
as twas time they were at the party
Again he set himself to the task, and by
hard struggling got through, finding him.
self enshrouded in shirt five feet long and
four yards broad, covering all over the floor
with its ample drapery?
"In Gods namew said the Judge in as.
tonishment, "what is this the woman has
sent me?" looking with CONSERVATION upon
the monstrous shirt around and beneath
him. "What is it I say?"
1t was with much difficulty that G. could
restrain his laughter, but approaching hi.
enshirted friend, and pulling the huge col
lar down so that he could see his face, he
gazed with apparent wonder, and observ
ed:
"What silly, stupid woman! tolt
her to get just enough to make three shirts
instead of making three, she has put tn,
whole nine yards into one shirt! But w
must hurry up and make the best of ba,
bargain, for it is high time we were at tn
party this minute. You can push it dow
into your trowsers and nobody will be tn
wiser" So at it the Judge went, his frien,
assisting him, as yard after yard was pile,