The Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, Ohio) 1853-1861, 1855-06-09
For the Journal.
"OUr Best Society" NO. 4.

"Well, never mind, am commissioned
to present you one"
Such were the words addressed to me by an
acquaintance a short time since-the con-
cluson of whose remarks was accompanied
by the polite presentation of small pack
age neatly enteloped in brown wrapping
paper;
to dc things up the ndStieSt," was his con-
Guiding remark as he disappeared in the adj
iacent woUd
Reader, would you like to go to long
Johns? If SO, will give you an introduc-
tion upon my own responsibility. But
perhaps you would like to know who is it
that bears this euphonious title l will
tell you.
He is one Of the longest, leanest specimens.
of the genus homo imaginable, whose very
proximity necessarily brings to remembrance
Shakspeare's anatomy of starved pill
chard.' He occupies, in community, the
responsible position Of landlord, and general
tntcrmeddler in the affairs of all pprsons.--I
If there is a grand "rout" or I" ball " to-
come off, you may be sure that 60 long John
will have the :" longest finger in the {" pie.
Yet in our community he stands A--No. l.
the mould of rigidity; and one may see by
the light of his rubcund nose, that the whole
moral code has been indelibly stamped upon
his countenance.
John has also, fortunat tely, been blessed
with literary cast of mind. He has read
"Sinbad the Sailor" " The Adventures of
Dick Turpin,' The Lives of the most
noted Pirates," and number of similar
very celebrated works In consequence of
this culture, John is looked upon in our
community, as kind of "Sir Oracle The
expression "Just ask Long John if it ism t
soH-is considered "settler" in all ordna-
ry cases of dispute. His genius is of a regu-
lar universal cast. He can talk of religion,
and converting grace" over tumbler of
g brandy smash with all the f1uency of
deacon. He is as full of politics as he is of
whiskey. Indeed politics is one of Johns
great hobbies; and to hear him talk one
would think that all the cares of government
rested on his head, and have often wonder
ed whether it was this solicitude or his short
curling hair, that made him stoop- -shoul-
dered.
| verify believe that John is one of that
mysterious order, the Nnow Nothings" :;
for, whenever he hears the name mentioned
he pricks up his ears, assumes kno1ving
look, winks first at one and then at another
as if to say Z" If would I could tell you
thing or two"; but when questioned in re-
gard to the matter, he invarbly answers :
81 know nothing an assertion which but
few feel inclined to dispute.
John is likewise great believer in " Spir.
it-ual Rappings.' The genial ring of glasses
filled to the brim with schnapps the
dancing of bottles about the counter, bearing
the significant label of " Red-eye," is to him
proof positive of the communication of the
spiritual with the material world.
In word, "Long John" is man of
great function-decidedly and were it not
for one drawback he would be happy. This
exists in the person of his wife, short,
chubby faced woman with fiery red head.
1t has been whispered about by some mis-
chievous wag that Johns wife wears the
unmentionables; > but for my part, consid.
ering the great difference in their personal