The Shasta courier., 1855-03-31
The Res Gestw.--a Poor Joke.

Old Col. D.. Of the Mobi e District, was one
of the most singular characters ever known in
Alabama He was tesiy and eccentric, but pos
sessed many fine qualities. which were fully
appreciated by the people of his district. Many
of his freaks are still fresh in the memory of the
old uns :" of Mobile; and all of them will tell
you, that the Colonel, though hard to beat was
once terribly taken in by couple CT legal tyros
1t is George Woodward ] believe, that tells the
story; bnl, however that may be, it is in keep
ing with others related of the old gentleman
1t seems that Col d. had bad misunderstan-
ding with the two gentlemen alluded to- and
was not on speaking termsevith them, although
all OF the three were professionally riding the
Circuit pr~tiy much together. The young ones
being well aware of the Colonel's rascible ma
fure, determined, they left one OF the Courts
for another, to have some sport at his expense
by The way. They accordingly got about half
hours start in leaving, and presently they arri-
we'd at broad dark stream that looked as if it
might be a dozen feet deep, but which, in real
iy. was hardly more than many inches -
Crossing it. they alishted. pulled off their coats
and boots, and sat down quietly to wait tor the
-'old Tartar
Jogging along, at length, up came the old fel-
low. He looked first at the youngsters who
were gravely drawing on their boots and coats,
as if they had had a swim; and then he looked
at the broad creek that rolled before him like
fluent translucent tar. The Colonel was awfully
puzzled.
as this plaguy creek swimming1' he growled,
after pause OF some moments.
No reply made the young men simply
mounted their horses, and rode off some little
distance and stopped to watch onr hero.
The Colonel slowly divested himself of boots,
coat pantaloons and drawers These he neatly
tied up in his silk handkerchief, and hung them
on the horn of the saddle. Then he remounted,
and as he was fat short man, with paunch
of inordinate size. rather inadequate legs, face
like withered apple, and brown wig there
is no doubt he made an interesting picture as
he then bestrode his steed. with the .' breezes
holding gentle dalliance" with the extremities
of his only garment.
Slowly and cautiously did the old gentleman
and his horse take the creek. Half length
the water not toot-iock deep. Here the
horse stopped To drink. A length and ii half
and the stream no deeper. Thirty feet further.
and decided shoIling
Here Col d reined up. There must" he
said, be Il Numbering swift, deep channel be-
tween this and the bank-see how the water
runsl Well dash through -
A sharp lash made the horse spring half over
the remainder of the A" watery wase;" and
another carried horse and rider safely 10 the OPP
posing bank The creek was nowhere more
than foot deep.
their appreciation OF the sport, az they galloped
away
"I'll catch you, you young rascals." was
ground out between Col. DIS teeth and away
he saloped in hot pursuit, muttering dreadful
vengeance on his fugitive foes.
On-on-they sped "pursuer and pursued !"
The Youngsters laughed, yelled. screamed-.he
Col. swore with mighty emphasis. while his
shirt f1attered and cracked IN the wind, like
loose flying jib!
On !-on !-and the pursued reached farm
house on the road side Their passing startled
a flock of geese from fence corner, which as
the Col. dashed up met him with out-spread
wings, elongated neck, and hisses dire His
horse swerved suddenly and the COL in mo-
ment. was upon the ground, in most unroman-
tic heap" with his brown wig by his side,
and his bundle of clothes scattered around
The white-headed children of the house came
ont first. took a distant view of the monster-as
it seemed to them, and then returned to report
progress After little, the father OF the family
came out. and the affair being explained. assisted
Col. D. in making his toilet; the Col. swearing,
and the couutryman laughing all the while.
Dressed and remounted, our hero started off
with woful phiz, but before he got hundred
wards he was called back by the countryman.
Here's somethin' you've dropped" said the
man, handing the Col. his brown wig.
"Ah yes," growled D.. another item in the
res geste of this infamous affair.""
What's that you call it-res jestyl That's a
quar- name me. What do you do with iti''
My friend. it is one of the set of crcnm-
stances all relating to the same Internal trick
-"
.'You don't take my meaninf- 1 jist wanted
to know the what's the name of that . harry thing
in your hand, that thought you said was a res
jesty."
:. Ineffable blockhead r'-the Col. waxed
wrathy-" most asinine of mortals II was the
vile conspiracy against me that was about 10
explain. This is my OLD WIG The res gesfd
is a set of circumstances. as | was sayinS-in
short you'll never Understandable short the
res jesfy' as you call it. in this particular case.
taken all in all, constitute p-D POOR JOKE
And the Col. put on his wig. groaned at The good
Samaritan. and decamped.-Tales Of Alabama.
~ Here is what sprightly chap says about
courtng: Occurring is an irregular. active
transitive verb, indicative mood, present tense,