Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1855-08-23
REPORT UPON BUTTER -QUALIFlCA
TIONS FOR A FARMERS WIFE.

IBy S. D. Little, of Merrmack, N. H., Ag. So. ]
The benefcence Of the Creator is mani
festfd in so disposing our tastes and so a.
dap,ng these 10 the varieties with which " e
are surrounded, IS 10 make life scene of
enjnvmen, instead Of a burden. 1t might
have been that necessary food would have
been nolsome, as j. is sometimes to the dis
essed stomach, had il no, have pleased the
Creator to have ordered it otherwise. Bread
is The staff Of life, but butter is given 10 make
i, slip down easier sDd with better relish.
But il depends something on who makes
the butter whether 1t answers this purpose.
Butter made in Joe Bunker's house needs
to be eaten in the dark; then to make i,
pass well one or TWO other senses should be
laid aside; while that made by his brother
Jons,hsn NAV be eaten in the full blaze of
noon; you would wish ,ha, your neck was
as long ags;n, that you might have The plea
sursble sensation Of swallowing prolonged.
Perhaps a bit OF The history Of their better
halves will explain the whole matter.
.re's wife was Sslly Sly. When a small
girl she was sly; she would not half wash
the milk pail, but sly il away and lie, j. sour.
She was sly at school and did no, hslf ge,
her lessons, but would have her books in
sight when reci,ing; bu. as she grew older
she learned that to ge. we'll married che
mus, appear well, and so she ben. on her
cunning to get q superficial education in
every Thing, from roasting potatoes 10 play
ing the piano. Poor Jce fell in love with
her, and ''love has no ey es;" so he married
her. Bu. soon after she entered on house
keeping his eye. sight came, and he saw his
fix, that it was ''for better or for worse"
and he though. j. was all for worse. Like
true philosopher, he concluded TO endure
what be could M. avoid or cure, and get
long ,olerably well, only when he come to
her butter. for his mother wss real butter
maker. Every time he ssw or tasted of
Sslly's butter he fel, The horrors, Her msn-
ner "f making butter is somewha. ss fol-
lows She thinks it Of no consequence
whether the milk pail is sweet or sour; sels
The milk in warm room because il is easi-
er than to 60 into the cellar; and if some
dirt should blow into the pans she thinks
every man must sea. peck Of dirt" and in
no place will j. slip down easier Than in but
ter; she lets the cream pots be open. and
when she cburns forgets The poke; leaves
the cream al blood heat that i, may come
quick, when she takes it ou, Of the churn
she picks out the bodies Of all The flies and
spiders-,he legs and wings are small
they can be swsllowed; she works ou, half
the bu,.ermik and sets il away in warm
place for use. Poor Joe has seen so much
of this kind lha, he declares butter does no,
agree with health, and " ill not taste it. YET
his wife wonders why he does no. try it,
and marveIs ,ha. he does no. keep d dairy
aud make butter for market.
Jonathan was younger brother Of Joe,
and he had occasion to eat q. his brothers
enough 10 know why he did no. ca. butter;
end he declared he never would marry with.
out knowing what his bread would be but
with. Following the ben. Of his fancy, he
made several attempts at ma,rimony, and
julia Jumper slmos. csugh. him, for there
was always good butter on the table for les;
bu, he was determined 10 know who made
it. On inquiry she saws: La me! mother
makes the butter ! lake lessons on The pi-
sno." SWELL" says Jons,hsn, 81 went .
wife that takes lessons on the churn. shall
look fur,her.''
After several unsuccessful attempts, and
jus. ready 10 despair, he started in pursui,
Of stray cat.le before breakfast, and wander.
en- through The forest into the next town.
and, weary end hungry, called q, a decen,
looking house and ssked for snme refresh
menis, which were most cordially granted,
for The family we're whs, are called Scotch
Irish-in religion Presbyterian, and in hos.
pi,slity boundIess. Here he found The but
ter exactly right, though the weather was
hot the butter kept its shape ss we'll as