The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1855-05-09
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man VINO veuturcd TO give him some
wholesome advice, struttcd up to himh
with All air of importance, and said,
"sir, you arc no gcntlemdn! here is
my c~ard-considcr yourself chalIeng-
cd. Should ] be from home wheh
you honor me with 4 call, | shall leave
word with y friend to settle The pre-
liminarieS to your satisfaction rs
which the other replied, sir you are n
tool-herc is my c~ard--considcr your
nose pulled! and Should | not be nj
home when you call on me, you will
find | have left ORDERS with my ser.
want TO kick you into the street"
A military officer, Of diminmives
stature, was lately drilling an Irish.
man considerably above six feet
"ltoId up your head" said tile o%iiiticeTr,
e%lrvating the chin of the Irishman,
with the head Of his cane to an angle
of forty.l five degrees. "Lfold up your
head So. and throw your eyes some.
what to the right, thus"
And must | always do so, my no.
bic captain!" asked the new recruit.
with much apparent simplicity.
EYES, always" answered the officer.
"Ilen, Care you we'll, my dear lit.
tic fellow, rejoined Paddy, I Shall nev.
CIR see VOW again"
81 am afraid you will come ttj
want" said an old lady to her daugh.
ter.
81 have come to want already"
was Tho reply; 81 want u nice young
man.
A small piece Ct paper or Inch
Just moistened wit4 tuifpehtne, and
put into the wardrobe or drawers for
a single day, two or three times L
year, is sufficient preservation against
moths.
4 notorious %liiscr having heard Il
very eloquent charity sermon, "1his
Sermon" said he, $50 strongly proves
The necessity Of aims, | have almost
a mind 10 beg"
Il! IS . worry so!emn thing Il be
marricl, said Aunt Bethany. "Ycs.h
but it's . great deal more solemn not
to be-" said the maid of twenty.
Why is mans coat larger wi,cn ne
pulls it out Of n carpet, bags Because
he finds it in crease:
"fedly my Boy Just g1uiessss how
many cheese there is in this Bh%, an
faith III give yc the whole five"
give" said laddy.
'-Arrah my sowl, bad luck to tho
maj that tould yer.
An experienced woman asserts, that
when men break their hearts, it is all
the same rs when n lobster breaks one
ofhis claws--alythcr sproutins im,ne-
d'"''Iy' and gr3wing'ih its plaas::
a very abseDt. minded individual
being upset tr9ah a boat in the river,
sunk twice before he remembered that
he could a%irn
\ minister having preached a sci.
mon rs WAS his CUSTOM, some hours
after lie asked Il gentleman h~issopinion
of ii; he replied that, Twas good, but
it spoiled Il dinner worth two of It,"
"pAr cain ye tell me Mat is d
virgin?"
'To be sure t can, Jimmy"
swell thin, will sc be afther do.
i'm it,"
'Yes, jist, its a m that has
never been married at ALL"
"Bc yc in hiynrst, Put2''
"Ths saints il heaven be. praised,
then? my mother is u virgin: my faith.
or never married her at ALL. sure"
PADDY's BLusDEn.-"o yis! o yis:"
cried an lrishman in the street q few
days since, ringing II bell, 'lost, be:
tween twilve O'Clock and M'Kinney's
store on Markct-strect, n large brass
kay: Ill not b. aftIer tellin'ye &hat
it was, bit it was the hay to the Bank,
shure."
"Nly love" says Mrs. Foozic to.
her husband" "obligc me with q five
pound note to day, to purchase u new
Dress"
"shan't do Any such thing, Agnes;
you called me " bear yesterday"
"Lor, low, that was nothing; t
meant by it that you were fond Of
hisging:"
You littlc-=-, have, he. Ave
but here's a ten"
GLOW is your husband, dear9" ask
cd one lady of another. so, lie is III
n very bad s%tate," was the reply..-
"And pray what kind of state il no
in?" persisted the other. lin the State
prison"
"Ncvcr pull out q gray hair" said
q gentleman to his daughter, "as two
generally comes to its funeral" g"
don't care how many come to the fl.