Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1855-07-19
.prn, 4aste + 5tis5urs.
O. Break the legs of an evil custom.

0j7A lie, though 1t be killed and dead, can
sting sometimes-Iike dead wasp.
07'If the the rose be called the queen Of
flowers, why not "charity" the rose Of human
virtue
ft-t7-Nloral for hens and other people-neyer
"cackIe" till you are sure you have done
something
~ Mrs. Psriingon's Ike has bought a
horse that is SO sprltuUuS that it always goes
of 10 a decaner.
A DEAD Loss.-Miss Fantadling says if she
amt dead she has lost her vital "spark"-the
man who used TO sit up with her.
0-I'I have very little respect for the ties Of
this world" as the chap said when the rope
was round his neck.
GJA primer out west whose first son hap
pened to be very short ami fat little fellow,
named him Brewer Fullaced Jones.
u The loss Of friends is wholesome grief
and the tenTS sympathy are like balm to the
sufferer: but the loss Oi property is a wound
that testers.
| GjGirlS with red hair are said to fall in love
lhtwice the intensity af those having black.
| They aSo la.k twice as fast al 4 four times as
! hard.
| ~ have no desire 10 see lie city burn,
but wish 10 see the streets laid in ashes, as the
gentleman said when he slipped on the frozen
pavement.
(|.TA brother Editor tells us, that when he
was in prison for libeiIing justice of the
peace, he vas requested my the iailor TO give
The prison puff.
G5Foppery is never cured it is the bad
stamina Of the mind, which Ike those Of the
body, are never refined: once a coxcomb and
always coXcOmb.
CFTAunt Bethany remarks that IFS very
solemn thing 10 be married." eyes, but it is
deal more solemn not 10 be-" said all old
maid Of forty.
lj'A wife cannot make home comfortable
who "deaTs" and 'my loyes' and 'pets" her
husband, and don't sew tie buttons on his
shirts or the tapes on his drawers.
1-5T"There is woman al the bottom OF
every mischief" said Joe. eyes," replied
, Charley, "when used to getinto mischief my
mother was at the bottom Of me-
GJ'An old man, speaking Of his gre knowl-
edge Of the western country, said he had
. known the Miss lSsippi river since it was a
n small creek lie must have been Mr.. Methu-
n salerS brother.
n rJ'"They don't make as good mirrors as
s they used to-" remarked an old maid as she
S obseWeda pair Of sunken eyes, wrinked
S face and livid complexion in glass that she
. usually looked into.
y Q-iWe like the story Of blacksmith, who
= was requested to bring suit far Slander He
| OH be.n into 4
better character than all the courts in chris
tendon could give.
0 uTA Printer out west, whose office is half
a mile from any other building, and who hangs
, his sign on the limb Of tree, advertSeS for
i an apprentice. He says, "a hoy from the
!, country would be preferred"
7, GJ'True joy is a serene and sober emotion;
II and they are miserably out that take laughing
l., .or rejoicing; the seat Of it is within, and
!. there IS no cheerfulness like The resolution Of
d a brave mmd.
A FEELING REPLY.-Milton was asked by a
# friend whether he would instruct his daugh-
,. ters in the different languages, 10 which lie
is replied: "No Sir, one tongue is sufficient for
a woman"
N5"Ven 10 you tipk de world will come 10
.
Is in about three MONTHS" answered the Joker.
= "EIo, veil no cares for dat" exclaimed Hans,
with smile OF Subtraction, 81 pc going 10
'es Buffalo dis spring"
/ lj'An IriShmon who had Just arrived from
'e the Emerald Isle, hearing gun fired at the
l. closing Of the day, asked what it meant. Be-
n ing told that il was the suHdown gun he eN
IN cOimed-"DOes the sun make such diyil of
noise going down in this country :"
at GJ7"lIow do YOU get along with your arith-
x meic ?" asked father OF his little boy. "'ve
lie ciphered through addition, partition, Subtrac-
at lion, distraction, abomlnation, Justification,
e. halIucnatioG, darnaion, amputatlon, cre0toti
he and adoption" He'd do for an engineer on a
a. "Short Line Railroad"
= lFWoman alphabetically should be ami-
H. able, BENEVOLENT, charitable, domestic, eco
nomical, forgivng, generous, honest, industri-
Gus, judicioGS, kind, loving, modest, neat
nd obedlent, pleasant, quiet, rejecting, sober
tender urbane, virtuouS, wise, xemplary
yielding and Jealous.
e- IJ'A late philosopher, in speaking OF lovC
letters, says the ancients dealt in hillets, bu
Of different kind from those used by tht
Oh modelnS. i'hey were Lllies OF wood ant
NSIe duuIcSSeOJ HOI 10 lHc uUNGIStduulUB, Uu
the head. In those da. courling was dom
with a club.
6 PREcocITY.-A venerable young gentleman
,,s of our acquaintance, lou- years old recent
''GiS threw his maternal relative into ft of adm
II ration by the following speech 81 like al
HE kinds of cake - most pound cake, Spong
90 cake and jelly cake, but don't like s.omac
80 ache!
inp GJ-An Irish girl the other day, comp sine
,y. 10 her mistress that the COW wouldn't eat he
"mess." She "Scalded the male, and Sh
sailed it-but divil the bit would The ould Gov
iouch." On examination it was found tha
we Blddys "male'' was nothing but saw dust
The The COW was evidently not used 10 such ".fn
,ne board ?"
INN GJOne Of our celebrated dandes was i
company with young lady, ard observed he
49, kiss her favorite poodle. He advanced an
w. w., begged the like favor remarking that sht
IVY ought 10 have as much charity for him as sh'
hae shown TO the dog, "Sir," said The belle
Z al never kissed my dog while he was a pup
!. ipy." The fellow took the hint aud sloped'