davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24
Painful Effects Of a Joke.

A gentleman in -, attended the preach
ing of DIR. Clarke, and was deeply convinced
of sin. With strong prayer and tears he
sought pardon, but found it not Being con-
fined by sickness soon after, he sent for DIR.
Clarke, who came; but learning how long he
had mourned, and with what earnestness he
had sought salvation, he secretly wondered at
Gods so long Withholding freedom from such
deep repentance and finding the lamp of life
near expiring, and mental agony hurrying on
its extinction, with tender but firm language.
said, 1T is not often, Mr.. -, that God deals
thus with soul so deeply humbled as yours,
and in His own appointed way seeking re-
demprion. Sir. there must be a cause. You
have loft something undone which is your du-
ty and interest TO have done. God Judge be-
tween you and it.
Fixing his eres intently on Dr. Clarke, the
gentleman gave the following narration: 'In
the year -, l was at -, and took nv
passage-in ship for England. Before sail
ing some merchants put on board small bag
of dollars, which were given in charge to the
captain for such and such parties l saw the
transaction, and noticed the captains careless
ness, who left the bag day after day rolling
upon the locker. For the simple purpose of
frightening him, hid it. He made no in
quiries, and we arrived at -. | still re-
tanned it till it should be missed. Months
passed, and still no inquiry was made The
parties to whom it had been consigned, came
to the captain for it. He remembered receiv-
ing it In charge, but no more. 1t must have
been left behind. Search was made, letters
written, but it could not be found. All this
occupied some months. / had now become
alarmed, and ashamed to confess, lest should
implicate my character.
The captain was sued, and having nothing
to pay, was cast into prison. He maintained
his innocence as to the the theft, but confessed
his carelesspess. He languished two years
in prison, and died. Guilt had by this time
hardened my mind. l strove to be happy in
the amusements of the world, but all in vain.
Under your preaching the voice of God broke
in upon my conscience. l have agonized at
the throne Of mercy for the sake of Christ for
pardon, but God is deaf to my prayer. |
must &c down to the grave unpardoned, un-
saved
DR.. Clarke suggested to the dying penitent
that God claimed from him not only renitence
but restitution. The widow and fatherless
children still lived. The gentleman readily
consented. The sum, with interest and COM
pound interest, was made up and given to the
widow, to whom the circumstances were made
known. The dying mans mind was calmed,
and soon in the firm hope of pardon, he died.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24

worldly, have had no effect upon him. The
world says, he does not care,' we say the
man is philosopher, his mind is his kingdom,
and he laughs at care. Kings might envy
him, but he does not aspire 10 Kingdom
Your truly contented man is the one who has
the greatest resources in himself. Not the
one who has the largest outward possessions.
The winter ireside is book to such man,
wherein he reads, as the wood crackles, and
the sparks dance before him. Now the page
is opened at affiiction. The dying embers are
embematical Of departed friends but The
bright sparks, mounting upwards, draw his
thoughts to a higher sphere where all that
was beautiful of those friends has gone
The next is joy, and the blazing wood is
embematical of the bright and joyous hopes
within him.
The next is history, and every-log has its
legend, and seems an emblem of the different
nations of earth. So he muses., and forgets in
general thought his own peculiar thinkings.
A walk through the town is suggestive. He
sees prosperity around, and, though he covets
no mans wealth, the whole seems his. Why
should he not think SO! He lives in it, and
his is the mind to enjoy it. What if beauti-
ful house is building which does not belong TO
him! it beauties the place in which he
dwells. Lovely flowers are blossoming in the
garden of another, but he can stand and look
at them, and their odor is waited towards him
by some friendly wind as he gazes. Others
may travel in foreign countries, but he can
read about them, and his imagination clothes
them with twenty times their real grandeur
and beauty. There is land which none who
have ever visited have returned to give an ac-
count of. May not the training which he un-
dergoes fit him for better conception of that
far off yet near country, than all the expert
ence of actual travellers Certain it is, the
more man sees the more is he likely to spec
ulate, and then come his doubts. Art may
produce pictures, but nature is glorious
painting. Sculptors can carve statues, but
the living models of their work sit by their
doof steps. Both paintings and statuary can
only be afforded by the rich in money, but the
rich in mind can enjoy the same pleasures free
of cost. Health and vigorous mind is all
any one wants for perfect enjoyment. The
giddy may dance, the grave will think. The
one tires, the other is never exhausted One
is victim to the blues, the other is always
frsgh.-Lnnn Bau &tate
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24
clubbed quart Of chestnuts from tree bv he

clubbed quart Of chestnuts from tree by the
roadside. Soon after, meeting neighbor, he
inquired of the latter if he wanted some chest
nuts. Ofcourse he did, and holding his hand,
old IL. deposited therein three, remarking at
the same time, perhaps you would like to
buy quartz The following was related to
me by friend who witnessed the perform
ance A party Of some six or eight couples,
from neighboring town, had been sIeigh-rid-
Ing one afternoon, and had brought up about
three at the hotel in which my friend was
boarding. They ordered their horses baited
on hay, and instead of calling for supper, the
young gents walked down town and invested
some change in some gingerbread and candy,
which they brought back and distributed
among the ladies, and had good time eener-
ally. About dark they called out the teams,
and that each Of the company might bear his
proportion of the expense, the whole amount
of money expended in horse-feed, candies and
gingerbread, was averaged and apporrioned
but, owing TO scarcity of small change, one
of the party found himself out of pocket jus
three cents. This was more than he wa,
willing TO bear, and several Intellectual at
tempts were made to set matters right. Al
last an old stagedriver, who had overheard
the whole helped them out of their dif1icultiel
by giving the sufferer three coppers, which he
pocketed with much satisfaction, and the par J
then drove of.-Pioneer Magazine.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24
MeannesS,

Almost every one has in his minds eye a
case which he may have been cognizant Of,
indicative of meanness of disposition. One
or two have just been brought to the writer's
memory, of which the following is sample
A certain young man in Northern Ohio in
vited couple of ladies to ride with him one
evening. They called at store while out
and he had the liberality to buy three sticks Of
candy, one Of which he divided among his
companions, and kept the two for his private
eating, That. was very small, but The
next is smaller, if possible. Old H. hat
been to town one day, and, on his return, ha,
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24
Fish as Food.

There is much nourishment in fish, little
less than in butchers meat, weight for weight
and in effect it may be more nourishing, con-
sdering how, from its softer fibre, fish is more
easily digested. Moreover, there is l find,
in fsh--a substance which does not exist in
the flesh of land animals, viz, iodine--a sub
stance which may have beneficial effect or
the health, and tend to prevent the production
of scrofulous and tubercular disease, the latter
in the form Of pulmonary consumption, one d
the most cruel and fatal with which civilized
society, and the highly educated and refined
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24

are afflicted. Comparative trials prove that,
In the majority Of fish, the proportion Of salid
matter-that is, the matter which remains af-
'eF perfect desiccation, or the expulsion cr the
aqueous Part-is little inferior to that of the
se'efdi KINDS OF butchers meat, game or poul-
try. And, if we give cur attention 70
classes q PeoPle-classed as to the quality Of
food they principally subsist ou-we find that
the ichthyo7hagous class are especially strong
healthy and prolific. In no class than ,b,, sof
fishers do we see larger families, handsomer
women, more robust and active men, or a
greater exemption from the maladies Just al
luded to.-Dr. Ddry's Angler and his Friend
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24

A CONTEMPORARY who is somewhat posted
up in satin and statistics, talks as follows -
While the business men of America pro,
verbally live poorer, dress shabbier, work
harder, and many more hours, than in any
other country in the world, their wives and
daughters are len times more idle, more ex-
travagant and more useless
1t strikes US that there is some truth in that
extract. Mr.. Brocha, of the house of Brocha,
Buckram & Co., tolls from twelve to sixteen
hours per day. Brocha last year, made $22,-
900. What become of it! Ten thousand
dollars of the same were spent by Mrs. Brocba
for new furniture, 70 spite the Maxwells,'
while large portion Of the balance was ex7
pended on Blanche and Sarah,' SO that they
might go to Newport and show the Bantad-
lings that there were other diamonds in New
York besides those which were inherited from
great grandfather, who found in India a
princely fortune and diseased liver. Brocha
has been in business SINCE SlS4O. He does
large and lucrative business. People who
have never been in his parlor and kitchen i'm
agine that Rrocha is worth a quarter of
million Of dollars, while those who have been
in, wonder how he lodges the sheriff Brocha
is still toiling, and is still making money, and
yet If he should die tomorrow, it is guesiiepa,
BILE whether his assets would equal his liabili-
ties. Brocha will probably end his days by
testing The virtue Of a shilling's worth of
strychnine; Should we be one of the jurors
who sit upon the body, we should bring in the
following verdict g Died from the visitation
Of an extravagant wife and tWa selseless
daughters
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24
Mental Enjoyment.
" My mind TO me a kingdom is.

True enjoyment proceeds from the mind
Our thoughts make us happy or unhappy.
Whatever be our outward circumstances, the
crosses we meet with through life, or the pri-
vations we are called upon to endure, still if
the mind is right we are happy. It is fre-
quently said by individuals, What does he
care.' You look at the person spoken of, his
face wears genial smile, and warm light ID
in his eyes. Troubles, whether domestic On
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24

TEMPERANCE The man that is physically
wicked does not live out halt his days, and he
is not halt alive while he does live. Howev-
er gracious God may be to the heart, be new
er pardons the stomach.
Let young man pursue a course Of tenn
perance, sobriety and industry, and he may
retain his vigor full till three score years and
ten, with his cup Of enjoyment full, and de-
part painlessly; as the candle burns out in it5
socket, 80 will he expire. alA h'iP
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24
Hints,

1t your fiat-irons are rough and smoky, lay
little fine salt on fiat surface, and rub them
well it will prevent them from sticking 10
anything starched, and make them smooth
Rub your gridle with fine salt before you
grease it, and your cake will not stick When
walnuts have been kept until the meat is foo
much dried to be good, let them stand in milk
and water eight hours, and dry them, and they
will be as fresh as when new.
Cedar chests are best TO keep fannels, for
cloth moths are never found in them. Red
cedar chips are good 10 keep in drawers,
wardrobes, closets, trunks, &C., TO keep out
moths.
When clothes have acquired an unpleasant
odor by being from the air, charcoal, laid in
the folds, will soon remove it.
If black dresses haze been stained, boil
handful of fig leaves in quart of water, and
reduce it TO pint. A. sponge dipped in this
liquid and rubbed upon them, will entirely re-
move stains from grapes, bombazins, &c.
In laying up furs for summer, lay tallow
candle in or near them, and danger from worms
will be obyiated.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24

a man undertook to make a pair of traces
OF gum-elastc, the other day, and found it no
go. he says they won't break, but then they
stretch SO that after reaching home with his
horse, he turned to look for his wagon and it
was non est conaeafibus; but following the
traces back, however, he at last overlook his
vehicle-and where do you suppose it was Z
In the bush just where he piled the wood on.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24

Cousin Simon grew so bold,
thought he would have cock'd it
1t scared me so, shrink it off
And hung by fathers pocket.
And Captain Davis had gun,
He kind clap't his hand ont,
And stuck crooked stabbing iron
Upon the little end ont.
And there see pumpkin shell
As big as mothers basin;
And every time they touched it off
They scamper'd like ths nation.
After verse 10:
see another snarl of men
A digging graves they told me,
So tarnal long, so tarnai deep,
They tended they should hold nae.
1t scar'd me so, 1 hook'd it of,
Nor stopt, as 1 remember.
Nor turned about till got home.
Lock'd up in mothers chamber.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-05-24

1.-THE foregoing is copy of Yankee Doodle
as published more than thirty years ago in the
New Hampshire Historical Collections. The
editor of that work appended several stanzas,
which we are inclined to think are interpola-
tieas. We however subjoin them. au
True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1855-05-15
PROGRESSIVE
Rev. Charles Elliot.

Some time ago the Cincinnati Enquirer
made a savage attack upon Rev, Charles
Elliot, editor Of the Western Christian
Advocate, in which he was charged with
falsehood, with being Know Nothing,
with engaging in politics, I;e. 10 the lat
ter charge, Mr.. Elliot replies as follows ;
GAS to the EnQuirei's friendly solici-
Jude about our 'engagingin politics, we
have only to say, that, in the ordinary
mere political party issues, we have no
concern We feel no interest and take no
part in them. But where great moral
principles are broken down, sacred nation
al faith is anuuled-and annulled, too, for
the purpose Of extending "the SUN Of all
villainy" over a territory consecrated by a
solemn compact to freedom when dema-
gogueism links in with Popery to peril the
birthright of American citizens; when it
ioins hand in hand with rum-selers to aid
in spreading and pcrpetuating the blight
ing nidew Of intemperance-wc should
not be true to our own manhood, to our
Christianity, to our Chuch, nor to our
God, dia We not speak ont in earnest and
solemn tones. We hare 80 Epohea, ace shall
continue to pcnh. God being our helper,
we will defend the truth and right The
Enquirer need have no apprehensiOns about
the Church being dissatisfied with our
course. When such shall prove to be the
case, we easily rclinquish our post !;
but we cannot cease to yindicate the truth.
But, for the Euquirer'S special benefit, we
will say that while our course has been de-
cidcd, and we have spoken out upon the
great politico-mdral questions of the day,
only two Of our twenty seven thousand sub
scribers have deserted US on that account,
and for those two We have received more
than half dozen each No, Mr. Enqui-
rer, those persons who 90 in for annulling
sacred compacts, upholding and extending
slavery, sustaining Popcry, and selling
rum, are men of altogether different char
acer from those who sustain Protestant
Churches and patronizo religious ncwspa-
nors"
True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1855-05-15
From the Progressive Farmer.
Waiting for the latest Improvement.

Arc you acquainted with Farmer Tai
dy1 He is a cautious man, very eau
'ious man. He is what might appropriate
ly be termed an excessively prudent indi-
yidual-one of that class who is never Ia
ken in with new-fangled notions of this in
rentivc age. He processes to be thorough
ly acquainted with everything he purchases,
and never Gin his own estimation) has he
been "taken in" by dealers. Ina word,
Farmer Tardy il the man who for many
years past has been waiting for tho latest
improvement in agricultural machinery
Three years ago when his ncighbor Thrift
~ purchased the first rcaring machine in
PRODUCED into this country, Farmer Tnrdy
laughed heartily at his neighbor's verdan.
~. But Farmer Thrifty had never been
taught to hold the six-pence so close to his
eye, as to hide the dollar behind. Tardys
pleasantries were received good humored-
", and the reaper was put to work. The
first season, nearly onc half the expenses
Of cutting his harvest saved, and the next
showed a similar result. Laborers were
scarce, and wages high last season, and
Thrifty, not only saved enough to pay for
his reaper, but lad his grain harvested a
full week before his slow but sure friend
Where was Farmer Tardy all this while
You might hare seen him last season, eau
'iously examining the different reapers and
mowers, seeking for the latest improve.
ncnt, but evidently no nearer the object
Of his search than when he commenced il
four years before. WCormick's was too
heavy, Mannys too light, Atkins too com.
plicated, Burralps was only reaper. Al
lens and Ketchums were only NOV ers,
and he was fully persuaded that next year,
there would be something still better; a
machine that would onbody that great de-
True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1855-05-15
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True American. [volume] (Steubenville [Ohio]) 1855-1861, 1855-05-15
What the Know Eothings Did.

A. Dc Lozynski, NJ. D Physician, Ohio
Penitentiary, as he signs himself, the cele-
bra.ed German Doctor employed by the
Directors to take charge of the health of
the convicts in the 0. p, has laid before
Drake Medical Society ofthis city, lengthy,
Latin-phrased, hard-worded paper in which
he endeavors to explain the reasons why
so many prisoners died with the "Putrid
Fever" or Acute Scuvy' that pervaded
the prison last fall.-Somo thirty seven
poor fellows left the Hospital for the un-
discovered country in very few months,
because (if we are to believe this remarka-
bic payer, which has been laid over by
the Society for discussion) they refused to
extend to the Doctor a generous confidence
This distinguished member Of the Medical
Corps makes a statement to this effect
The influence Of a secret Order Of politi-
cians known as Know Nothings, or the
Order of the Star Spangled Banner, was
brought to bear in such a manner as to
undermine his influence with the prison
ers, so that they lost confidence in him,
and it destroyed his friendly relations with
the officers of the Penitentiary, and to the
bad effects Of this secret influence he at
tributcd in part, the fatal result of the cpl
demic!'
How is it that this terrible result of
Know Nothingism has escaped the notice
Of the "Ohio Statesman" Is it not 'intoI-
cradle and not to be endured? The au-
dacious Know Nothings, with their secret
cabalastic charms, not content with crea-
ting trouble in family relations, breaking
down old fogy politicians, have actually, oc-
cor ding to the ties of party and the infu-
encc of Pleading this learned gentleman from
Germany, tken away from emctics the pow
cr to vomit, and from cathertics the power
to purge.-Joar.