Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1855-08-08
EDGEFIELDss q. AUGUST 8, 1866

times. And do you think The hateful sarpen
i didn't push off at last without paying it
1 He died about two hours afore, me. I'm
looking to see i'll can't findhis track. Hell
have to gitinto a tarnation hot place, but
what I'll have that ninepence yet, some how.
Travelling thus in company with the Yam.
kee, at length We reached the river styx
There was old Charon, with his boat ready
to take, US across. He demanded l24 cts,
from each ofus for ferryage. The Yankee
in vain higgled, nearly half an hour, endea.
voring to get him TO take ten cent piece.
In crossing the river, the pedlar employed
bis. time making comb, of, the shell of a
turtle caught in the water, which he palmed
of upon an old maid who had died of dis.
appointed love, on reaching the opposite
bank, as a genuine tortoise.sAell.
Proceeding into the interior, we presently
reached the judgement seat .Rhadamanthus,
where sentence is passed upon all who arrive
in the internal domiuions. The court was
sitting, and business seemed TO be carried on
with wonderful despatch-the cases of a
multitude of ghosts having been already dis.
posed of that morning. Soon we heard one
Of the constables call out, "Virgil Hoskins! |!
Virgil Hoskins" "Here," answered our
companion, the Yankee pedlar, quaking up
to the bar. Rhadamanthus. seated with a
great number of huge account books before
him. "Virgil Hoskinsis your name, is it :"
said he. "Here it is, among the HIS, page
49,35s. Ah,, Virgil! there's terribly long
account against you. Let's see few of the
charges" :" (reads)
VIRGIL HosK1Ns, DR..
June 81, 49,, To selling, in the course
of one peddlipg expedition, 49,, 1868 wooden
nutmegs, 2sl ,532 Spanish cigars made of
oak leaves, and SAT wooden clocks.
What do you say to that charge Hoskinss :
Hoskins. Why, that was counted in our
place about the greatest peddlin trip that
ever was made over the Potomac.
Rhadamanthus reads: June %, 1s-,
To stealing an old grindstone, smearing it
over with butter, and then selling il as a
cheese.
Hoskins, in great surprise. Jimminy
surely you wouldn't punish a man for that,
would you
Rhadamanthus reads: December l3,
1850, TO making counterfeit dollar of
pewter, when you were six years old, and
cheating your own father with it.
Hoskins. Daddy was mighty glad when be
found it out. He said it Showed had "a
genus.
Rhadamanthus reads: July 2, 49,, TO
ceand
lady, as being actually the shoes of Saint
Paul.
Hoskins, aOith emulation. | made four
dollars and twelve and half cents by that
Rhadamanthus reads: July 2, ls--, 10
taking an empty old watch case, putting a
live cricket into it, and then selling it as
patent lever in full motion.
Hoskins. He, he, he,-that was one OF
the cutest tricks ever played in all my llte'
: Rhadamauhus. II would occupy me
week, Hoskins; to 60 through all the char.
ees against you. These few are sufficient.
/ real y am getting entirely out of patience
with New England, for it gives me more
trouble than all the rest Of the world put
together. You are sentenced to be thrown
into lake Of boiling molasses, where nearly
all your countrymen already are, with that
same grndstone tied to your neck, and to
remain there forever.