Minnesota weekly times. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1859, 1855-04-17
DIARY OF LOCAL ITEMS.

April 10th. Quiz-familiarly known in Beer
ocratic circles by the euphonious soubriquct of
s'Timberlegs," and particularly celebrated for
not being particularly celebrated for anything in
particular Notwithstanding the most arduous eff
forts to attain some sort of distinction-this
truculent Quiz ambushcd in anonymous satire
and comprising tho ignominious ending of our
high career-wreaks at a pun Mt us in to-day's
Minnesotian, at the DEVILS instigation-a sui
phureous and diabolical puma vindctive and
very old pun.
o! that the relentless Quiz should plant him
self like old Apollyon between us and Fame-.and
throw cold water on our rising prospects. With
nothing now worth living fora desperate pur-
pose possesses us. We defy you, Quiz, to mortal
combat, and hurl defiance in your teeth such
teeth glazing at us at this moment, with pal
pably carnivorous grin-as ssTimberlegs" passes
us like the shadow on our life, that he is. Boar
hunting Hercules forgive us for tempting such
teeth-we revoke that challenged Quiz-tillyou
have essayed the antiseptic virtues of charcoal
paste and a tooth brush.
April 18th. Are Hogs included in the census
of our male adult population =? Do Hogs vote?
Do they pay taxes? Shall bristles confer the in
solent immunities of caste, while wool disfran-
chises its millions?
No less than twelve of these Free-soilers super
seding our right of highway, demand that we
shall surrender the privileges guaranteed us by
the Constitution and bow down to Porcine ascen-
dancy.
gency, we would suggest the expediency of some
secret political combination analogous to Know
Nothingism to resist the domination of Pork and
check its supcrcilious assumption of precedence
on the side walks.
We vote them Boar.
April 18th. Thunder, lightning and rain-the
hubbub of an hour, like the witches cauldron-
and then sunshine. But, Notwithstanding this
refreshing splash, prairie fires still stretch their
forked tongues here and there like hungry snakes
kissing through the dead, dry grass, and coiling
their fiery tails around ravinc and bluff and mea-
dow, and leaving charrcd and desolate track
behind.
April 18th. If some body does not pull down
root out, and generally demolish those ricketty
old rat-holes at the foot of Bench street, We
give public notice that we shall become indig
nant.
Ono would imagine from the OBSTINATE perSiS-
tency with which these rotten tcnemcnts arc pre-
served in spite of every public consideration, that
they had been solemnly consecratcd with all the
pomp of scntiment-to the expartriatcd genius
of Siouxdom, that they inculcated some sublime
moral like the fragmcntary palaces of Thcbes. or
taught some grave historical truth like the ruins
of Palmyra, that they had some reaching poet
ical sgnfcancc-that myths from Elysian Hunt
ing Grounds still haunted them to chatter for
ethereal blankets or beg ambrosial dinners. But
if the barbarous legends they perpetuate do not
outweigh the dismal realities of squalid hideous-
ness they present, and of fragrant memories of dis
embodied muskrats do not drown the filthy fumes
of modern nastincss-down with them.
Are there no Gradgrinds in the City Council
Shall these dingy huts smitc the eye of the ap-
preaching traveller for ever? Is there no statute