Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1855-11-07

hstH1 w nOtLE INO MDER ZIO.
!, Three jolly husbands, out, in the country,
by the names of Tim Watson, Joe Brown,
and Bill Walker, were out late one evening,
drinking at the village tavern, until, being
pretty well corned, they agreed that each one,
on returning home, should do the first thing
that his wife told him, in default of which he
should the next morning pay the bill. They
then separated for the night, engaging to
meet again the next morning and give an
honest account of their proceedings at,home,
SO far as related to the bill. - .>.. :
The next morning Walker and Brown
were early at their posts but it was some
time before Watson made his appearance. Il
Walker Degan first. 4 49, -,g g
You see when l entered my house the
candle was out and the fire giving but a
glimmering of light, I came near walking in
to a pot of batter that the pancakes were to
be made, of in the morning. My wife, who
was dreadfully out of humor, said to me sar-
castically, a. i...aui -,a ao8. t6o..
Bill, do put your foot in the batter ~,
Just as you say Maggy,' said I and with
out the least hesitation put my foot in the,
pot of batter, and then went to bed" ~
Next Joe Brown told his story. III,
""My wife had already retired to our usual
sleeping room which adjoins the kitchen, and,
the door Of which was ajar; and not being
able to navigate perfectly you know, l made
a dreadful Gathering among the household
furniture, and my wife in no very pleasant
tone, bawled out, ~. ao1 +. -..- =. ..,,,.s
DO break the porridge pot ,e,- s..,r..5.i
No sooner said than done; | seized hold of
the bail of the pot, and striking it against the
chimney jamb broke it in hundred pieces.
After this exploit, retired to rest, and got
curtain lecture all night for my palms." ,,q,
1t was now Tim Watsons turn to give an
account of himself, which he did with very
long face, as follows: .-I ...lt 4, .oe,,o.,'',.
MY wife gave me the most unlucky COM
mand in the world; for was laundering up
stairs in the dark, when she cried out; NJ, ! =
s DO break youri neck, do, TIM N .~rn
I'll be cursed if do, Kate, said /, as
gathered myself up; I'll sooner pay the
BILL -, t'. .f.... =: ,o,. ..,'
And so, landlord, here's the, cash for you;
and this is the last time I'll ever risk five dol
lars on the command of my wife, ar yirseg
LoNeEv1rY-Joseph Dart and Sarah Hurd
of Middle Haddum, CT, celebrated a few DAYS
since, their sirty-second anniversary Of their
espousals- having been united in the bonds
OF wedlock at that place in October 1902.
After pleasant pilgrimage Of sixty-two
years, in the same beautiful and healthy
village on the banks of the Connecticut,
another festal group gathers around them,
to pay respect and reverence to the "Old
Folks at Home" Here Mr.. and Mrs. Dart
gather around them a child-life Of more than
six hundred years; and among them we find
few of the younger people, of the tender
age of 929 and 99a years-her sister, Mrs.
Rebecca Bowers aged 999 years, and her
brother, Capt. Jacob Hurd, aged 92a years,
and her brother, Capt. Jocob Hurd, aged 921
years, the father of Mrs. Col. Amos Roberts,
of this city. This group, including father and
. mother presented in one picture the repre-
sentatives of seven hundred and sixty years,
and the average age of the four old folks
present was a fraction under 90 years; and
more than one thousand years of kindred life
was represented at the festive gathering.
oucn Iuccll1SS us tllat are rarc-WOuld they
were many. And who will assume to call
such gatherings around the old hearth stones
frivolous, useless, or puerile? None but those
whose ambition has outrun his religion, or
whose pride has driven his father or mother
from his heart Grand Rapids Herald l
u The Toronto Colonsst contains the fol-
lowing: A gentleman recently handed
/, lady out Of the Railroad cars at Buffalo, He
J was total stranger to her, and simply offered
, her his hand as an act politeness. 1t turned
out that she was running away from her hus-
band at the time, and had large quantity of
, goods and chattels with her. The unfortu-
nate stranger being taken for her friend, was
arrested at the cars and sent to Jail with her.
He had some difficulty in establishing that
his politeness should not be taxed to a much
: greater extent fgoo %
SAD EFFECTS OF SPIRITUALIsM-The
Rondout (N. " Courier tells of a young
: man, named VIM. Whiddit, a medium" in
that village, who, on Saturday before last,
: was suddenly seized while in church with
, blindness. and soon after with utter loss of