The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1855-05-30
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The onion, it is said. destroys
the attractive body Of the magnet. Il
has the same effect with young Indies.
~A thief being caught robbing
bank, when asked what he was doing,
auswerd-"only taking notes"
! EEA man in New Orlerns is 20 up-
right in his dealings, that be won't sit
while at his meals. 2a &e92s
EThe Vine bears three kinds Of
grapes; the first of pleasure, the second
of drunkenness, and the third Of repent.
ance. sN ez - 'ea7 ai4
EEThs bachelor Who undertook 10
mend his breaches With the thTsad Of
life, gave it'up asa bad job, and ssaa
them to . tailor. ss 4s
EHA man out West, Who owns .
large farm, says he stacksnp all the hay
he can onS of doors, and the remainder
he puts In the barn. -.
E A Western editor in speaking
of a concert singer, says her voice is de-
iciods-purs As the moonlight, and -
tender As a three shilling shirt.
EJohn's wife and John we're tets-
-tete. She witty was, industrious he;
says John-"I'vs sarned the bread Ne
eat" "And l." said she, shave urned
the tea." ear s..ifzs5fI
EE Governor Gardrer, of Massa-
chusetts, admits that he uses foreign
peppers on his oysters. Nevertheless,
his friends insist that he is right, as the
foreign pepper is e. N.
EEIt is the opinion of the doctor
that the lawyer gets his living by plum
der, while the lawyer thinks that the
doctor obtains his by piH-age.
E What is that which is above au
human imperfectiOns, and yss shelters
the weakest and visest, a. we'll ~ the
wickedest of all mankind? A hat.
E An old lady being late at
church, entered as the congregation
were rising from prayer. LAP said
she, curtseying, "don't get up on my 40,
count"
EO Original poetry may Occasional-
ly be found enyeloping = bon 6on.---
Here il specimen: ---s=ss-sI
s.Lovs is . fire that buIns and sparhieG
In llr in charen nala
EIn late speech, Lucy Stons
said, "We know that there Is cotton in
the ears of men. Let us look for hope
in the bosoms of women" May you
not find some cotton there, too, Miss
Lucy !?
EE Don't you remember Old Tows-
er, dear Kate. Old Towser, SO shaggy
and kind how he used to lay, day and
night, by the gate, and seize interlOpers
behind. There the machine broke
down. 8 @
EE"Dearest at angel, don't the keys
of the piano.forte make you forget the
keys of the store-roon, or the enlightsn-
ment of your understanding prevent yon
from inquiring the price Of candles ?" 7
E Somebody says that woman
abandons her opinion the moment her
husband adopts il; even IN church. the
women sing IN octave higher than The
men, in order not TO agres with then IN
anything. @ sgse
EE Children are raised in japan
with pulley. Some of the grown folks
are occasionally raised with rope
around the neck For children and
grown folks, Japan holds out induce.
ments that are not to be slighted. hs'
e Mrs. Partington advises all
young people afflicted with preparation
of the heart, to apply the cataract OF
mustard to draw out the information,
and she says she has never known fail
urs where this device was followed.
E If you are particularly anxious
to cure yourself of love, hide in q closet
half.a-dozen times, and listen to the cons
versation that takes place between q
couple who have been married q year.,
while they think themielveS entirely
alone.
%"Do you think you are ct to diet
said stepmother to her neglected child.
'I don't know" said the little girl,
taking hold Of her dirty dress, and In
specting it-"I guess so--if I sin't toe
dirty"
EA genius, with face as long az
a ladder, and about as narrow, solemnly
assures us, that Whatever amount q.
"cooing" there may be in honeymocn,
the party interested may be pretty sure
of having fearful amount of billing
afterwards. Awful.
EO On late assertion of al wro.
naut, gentlemen requested to be allow
ed to accompany him to the aerial re-
giOns. "Aro you good tempered2" asked
the eronaut "I believe so-but why
do you ask that question:" "Fer fear
we may fall osa on the way"
EEaPray sir" said a Judge angrily,
to blunt old Quaker, from whom nor
direct answer could be obtAinsd, udd
you know what We sit here for?" isYsay
verify. I do, said the Quaker, "three q.
you for four dollars each q day, and The