The American patriot., 1855-04-28
HUMOROUS CLIPPINGS.

dU MVhUUS CLlff1N00.>
A CArirAL SroRy,--The New York Tribune
Of the 9th ult., tells the following anpcdote
under the title of "a Singed Cats" ".ts,.,i, r,t,
The Now York and Erie Railroad Office in
this city was yesterday the scene ef an incident
which is worthy Of being recorded among tho
events Of the day-not only BECAUSE it was a
good Joke, but because it bears on its face a
good moral $40 .uov a s.r sd a. Hsow
An old man enters the olice-in age appa-
rently vcrgng on three score; his clothes arc
of coarse texture, ventilated in semc places
and rather dingy withal; his head, with its
long gray locks. is covered with u hard worn
beaver; his face, the lower part of which is
ornamented with ~ grizzly-gray beard, has an
humble appearance, and his dull eyes have al,
implorihg expression; he has a folded paper
in his his hand, and, advancing to the desk of
the first clerk, he extends it, .''lTt 5a1
Clcrk-A"Go away, sir, haven't anything
for you" t.. osiH $3.50 1solsaia omsa od- an
Old man---t Frightening up with look of
surprse) - But, sir
Clerk No 5tts about II, q sir; Ltell you
have nothing for you. Go out asin at
The old man, with a mingled look of sur.
prise and indignation,e passes on to the desk Of
another clerk and offers the paper.di3S 0fi b
Clerk Don't interrupt mo, sir get out Of
the Office; give nothing to beggars.' df
The truth begins to reveal itself to the old
mans understanding; the last word has re-
kindlcd the fires of his youth; his face glows
and his eyes flash with Indignation; he is
about to retort sharply upon thcsman who
calls him a 'bcggar,' when third party inter-
feres and DIRECTS him to the cashier, to whom
the old man hands tue papers. The cashier
unfolds them and finds, instead of begging cer-
tifcates New York and Erie Railroad income
to the amount Of ton thousand dolarsl Cash
ier looks surprised---tho old man demands his
money--clerk No. takes seat on the cross,
bar Of his desk out Of sight--clerk No. 2 turns
red purple and white by turns; the old man
receives his money and makes noisy exit
mumbng something about counterjumpers
and broadcloth .ls 1g.sf .l= ...sH b.a
A man says, the first thing that turned his
attention to matrmony, was the neat and skill.
full manner in which a pretty girl handled a
broom. He may see the time when the man.
ner in which the broom is handled, will not
afford him SO much satisfaction. 1H
An old bachelor geologist was boasting that
every rock was as familiar to him as the al
phabet A lady who was present declared that
she knew of rock Of which ne was wholly
ignorant. You don't say-just name it, ma
dam," cried Coelebs quite sefpossessed. at
is rock the cradle, irs" replied the lady.
A lady acquaintance says the first time she
was kissed by "fcller," she felt like big
tub of roses swimming in honey, cologne, nut.
meg, and blackberres She also felt as il
something was running through her nerves Oh
feet Of diamonds, escorted by several little
cupids in chariots drawn by angels, shaded by
honey -suckles the whole spread over with
melted rainbow What power there must be
in full breasted kiss! 9'' ''''aAa 9H
Marriage is the mother of the world, and pre-
serves its kingdoms, fills its cities and churches,
and Heaven ITSELF and is that state Of good
things which God hath designed as the pres.
ent constitution of the world. t,f. Fl
"Bob! by sitting on that side of the cars,
you are missing all the sights on this side. :"
"Nevcr mind, Tim, am sighting all the misses
on this side" -z -.-t4,.- -.'s s....l..=...
An lrishman being asked on a late trial for q
certificate Of his marriage, exhibited huge
scar on his head, which might have been made
with fire shovel. The evidence was satis-
, factory. rals5 r. IS ll=.
The following notice was lately affixed at g
church in Herefordshire, England, and read in
the church: "This is to give notice that no
person is to be buried in this church-yard but
those living in the parish; and those who de-
sire to be buried are desired to apply to the
, parish clerk" l.UJ -s...Ee ef. "a s.=...
d Evidence Of triendship--kissing married
lndy out Of pure love for her husband i'