Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1855-02-28
EVENING STAR.
AN ELHcrIoN SPEECH.

| AN ELECTION SPEECH.
Ladies and gentlemen: l rise but
there's no use telling you that-you know
IN up as well as do. I'm a modest
man-very-but I've never lost A Mica.
yune by it in my life because it's |.
scarce commodity among candidates I
thought would mention it, for fear if I
didn't you would never be lucky in find.
ing it out.
Candidates are generally considered as
nulsances, but they are not; they are
the politest men in the world, shake Won
by the hand, and ask how's yeur family.
what's the prospect for crops, &c. I'm
the politest man in the State. am not
only the politest man, but the best elec.
tioneer-you ought to see me shaking
hands with the variations-:he pumn
handle and the pendulum, the cross-cut
and wiggle.waggle: l understand the
science perfectly. fany of the country
candidates wish instructions, let them
come to me.
Fellow-citizens; / was born-if had
not been wouldn't have been a candi.
date-but was going to tell yoa where.
1t was not in the Mississippi, but was on
the north side Of the negro line; yet that
is not compliment, as the negroes are
mostly born on the same side. / started
in the world as poor as a church mouse.
yet | come honestly BY my poverty. for
/ inherited it; and if I did start moor
no man can say but that I've held NV
own pretty we'll.
Candidates generally ask you il Won
think they are qualified, &c. Now. II
don't ask your thoughts-I ask vow
votes. Why, there's nothing to think ofl
except to watch that Swans name is no.
on your ticket; if it Is, think to scratch
it off and put mine on. I'm certair
l m competent-tor who ought to know
better than do! Nobody.
i will allow that Swan is the best an
dltor-that is till I'm elected. Then
perhaps 1T is not proper for me to say
any thing more. Yet, as an honest man
I'm bound to say that it's grievous sir
to hide any thing from my fellow citizens.
Therefore [ say it's my private opinion,
publicly expressed, that Ill make the
best auditor ever in the United States.
'Tis not fsr honor l wish to be auditor
for in my own county l was offered an |
office that was all honor, coroner which
| respectfully declined. The auditors
office is worth some $1,000 year, and
l am in for 1t like thousand of brick |
TO show my goodness of heart, 1 IL make
this offer to my competitor. am sure
of being elected, and he will lose some.
thing by the canvass; therefore [ am
willing to divide equally with him, and |
make these two offers: I'll take the sal |
ary, and he may have the honor or he |
may have the honor, and I'll take the
salary. In the way Of honors, [ have
received enough to satisfy me for life. III
wsht out to Mexico, eat pork and beans:
slept in the rain and mud, and swallowed
everything except live Mexicans. When
was ordered to "go," went "charee ;"
charged; "and break for ths chaperell,"
you had better believe 1 beat quarter
nag in doing my duty. |
My competitor, Swan, is q bird oft
golden plumage, who has been swimming
for the last four years in the auditor
pond at $4,000 a year. am for rota.
tion. L want to rotate him out, and to
rotate myself in. There's plenty ofl
room for him outside of that pond, there
fore pop in your votes for me-I'll pop
him out, and pop myself in.
L am for a division of labor. Swan
says he has to work all the time with his
nose down upon the public grinding.
stone. -Four years must have ground it
to q pint. Poor fellow, the public ought
not to insist on having the handle of his
mug ground dean off. 1 have a large,
full grown nose, and tough as sole leath-
er. | rush to the post of duty. offer
it up as sacrifice. clap it on the
grindstone. Fellow-citizsns, grind away,
till holler eauf, and that II be sometime
first.
Times most out. Well, like to for
got to tell you my name. It's Daniel
for short, Dan; not handsome name,
for my parents were poor people, who
lived where the quality appropriated all
the nice names therefore they had to
take what was left and divide around
among us-but it's as handsome as |
MIR. Russell. Remember, every one
of you, that it's not Swan.
am sure to be elected; 80 one and all,
great and small, short and tall, when
you come down to Jackson, after the
election, stop at the auditors office-the
latch-string always hangs out-enter
without knocking, take off your things,
and make yourself at home.