New-York daily tribune., 1855-08-24
POLICE COURTS.
ESSEX MARKET.

ESSEX MARKET.
Either the liquor drunk yesterday was not so potent
as on ordinary days, there was not so much i'm
bbed, or the people didn't feel disposed to get as
drunk as usual or their isebriety did not manifest
se in manner requiring official protection or the
policemen were deficient in vigilance, some other
efficient cause was at work to prevent the appearance
in the Police Courts of the customary number of can
ddates for the Tombs. The few who presented them
selves before Justice Wood were thus disposed Of:
HALF-A-DOZEN IN BATCH.
Henry Graham got tpsy and went to sleep; Joseph
NJ Collier was Debriaed ard laid down on the side
wslk: George Gould got corned and eat much pie
il made him sick; Ellen Finley was little mellow
and staid so for fortnight Patrick RYAN vent ol
spree and couldn't navigate the scow-boat whereof he
il a commander; these were chsstlsed by the LOVING
Justice to the tune of ten dollars apiece
WANTED TO PLANT HIS HARDWARE.
James Burns came from the country with his wife to
buy furniture james took two classes OF whisky punch
with too mach lemon in it, which bad the effect OF con-
fusiDg bis deasano rendering him paricuary obstinate
He proceeded in his purchases as Tar a. The selection OF
three kitchen sewpans, SIX wash0oArds ana par OF
smoothing irons, at which time pecuhar fancy see~ed
TO strike him and he resolved TO buy nothing else, and
90 express himself He would furnish his paror WITH
stewpa1s fill his cellar full of stewpans, pile up wash
boards in bis chambers, lock up all 'he clouts fu
of emoothr irons. lie would have sewpans over.
head and underioot, washboards on every side, and
wonld dwell 10 perfect plantation OF smoothing IRONS
Accordingly be proposed TO buy tty stewpans TO set
ont in the OF chard, three hundred washboards TO SOW
in the leuceLed and seventy-one smoothing irons TO
pant under his paror windows, and which he PROPOSED
10 train and tTelise like sweet peas as soon as tney
sprou,td. His wife of course opposed the
of all the funds in such IN unnecessary quanuty OF
hardware, and in the expostulauon whlch ehsutN
james became 50 outrageous that an NJ r. TOOK MN
TO the Station House In the morning his wie plead
for him with tears in her eyes, and me Justice ais
CHARGED him. He made his exit with his kitchen-raps
uncer his arm, evioenuy much ashamed OF himself.
GOT OFF EASY.
Anna Duncan was accused of stealing pair o.
shoes, but complainant appeared ana she was ois-
charged.
ANOTHER YET.
Francis Burrs got drunk and beat his wife Mar
garet Francis hadn't got over his drunk when brought
into court for be made Perseyerihg a'enP' 10 uIIhA
the Bible in most reckless disregard of lis superin-
cumnent incrusting nastiness, evidently aOorlng uil-
der the idea that 1t a mug of ale or a glass OF
whisky and water. lie promised to behave aha was
discharged.
AND STILL A THIRD.
Mr. Charles u. Bros H. OF Alc0rd, as he eyentu-
aly gave his name was brought for being disorder
w. He says be is from San Antonio, Iexas-he Is
6oaroipp az the Asior, took coach for Niblos Gar
den, was drunk, kicked up muss, was arrested,
spent the night in the cells, and was discharged III the
morning.
BRUTAL ASSAULT.
Charles Starke barkeeper in house of hl-ieme IN
ClintOi-st., committed erocious assault ana battery
upop John Capler in settlement OF some iOngstand-
ine erudee Capler came into the barToom called Tor
LIQUOR drank and paid for it, and was turning TO 90
away when Starke struck him on the side OF the lace
with huge lager-beer tumbler and then commencei a
beating him. Capers head was very badly cut an
artery was divided by the blow, and he lost so much
BLOOD during the night that serious fears OF MS lhe
date death were entertained. The bleeding was at
length stopped and he able to appear IN the court
ano make the complaint. Immediately alter the as
sault StaIke He'd and concealed himse he was pnr-
| tued by several officers, and was appreheoded oy
policeman John Garret. lie was committed LOT uiA'
LIQUOR VS.. LATIN.
Malvern Richardson, long, lean, tbin-losking inti-
yidusI dressed IL a suit Of black white neckclotn,
and a shovel hat and whose face was adorned VITA
that peculiar optical ornament known as y oiaS1
eye was brought up for into1lcanon' ne saa re ,e
New York the City, had been enhced from me
paths Of sobrety by volunteer friends, VINO had lei'
him drunk in the street, minus hs wa'cn ana hs mo
pey He had fashion Of nterardlng his speech WIN
g, ery day well known Latin quotations, which were
inoignapiy resented by the officer who brought him
H. who not being verstd in the dead languages took
The innocent Latin phrases of the prisoner to be some
sureilative degree Of hIgua blaekguardsul u lne
mystery of which lie was uninihaied.
Judge What is your name
Pri.eper-Melvefn Richardson-sn homes, one, Dec
eratias. -.
Jude,-Was YOU drunk Yesterday
Prisorer-l was, contra b0Hos raoTes.
Excited Ofhcer-He says he knows more as your
| Homer. -,
Clelk-Wbat kind Of liquor did you drink :
PIisoner-C;in, gin, sin, ad infnitrm.
Excited Officer anxious TO explain-He says ne
drank little gin, but he got tight on run.
Prsoner-O fempora! mores
Excited Officer, who begins TO understand Laun .
nretfy well-He wants to see Deborah and Moses-l
| s'pose the, relations OF his n. :.
Clerk-Where did you get your liquor
Prisoner-At q Dutch shop in Bowery-st-i an
much ashamed Of going into 90 low pisee' H'"e
,Uoe lackrymae.
Excited Officer, comprehending perfectly-he says
the Dutchman frst licked him, then be sacked MN.
Judge-Ysu seem to be a stranger In town. where
are you from ..,- :,
PTisoDer-I am teacher sir--a Latin tutor IN IN
Smiths University, Arkansas; monto eso ,Hs
;rstructipe INV loved pupils in the rudments oi tne
Latin tongue; last night behed me IN prnoh'
Tsmporo mstantxr, NOS et "ssamr N M.;, With
Excited Officer, nov thoroughly soquain,ed VIII
,;nHe irving 70 tell you that his sister Deborah
danced her pose of ct Mn Ssmers IN wiilnst
Judse-Odcsr, hold yow tongue Ar' Eicns'S0n'