Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1855-12-01
yf(isteuanp.

AwKwARDNEss IN III AEIFFsTlsg youR tovu
FOR YouNu LADY.-A few nights back q
party oi ladies and gentlemen were laughing
over the supposed awkwardness attending .
declaration Of love, when o gentleman re.
marked that if he ever offered himself, be
woOld do it in collected and businessliks
| manner 1.,
"Forinstance," said he. addressing bi,n,al;
TO beautiful lady present, u would saw,
MISS 3, have been engaged two years
in looking for wife. EN- in the recent NJ
clear Income of two thousand dollars wear
from my present business. which is daily or
the increase. Of all the ladies of my acouaint.
ance / admire you the most Indeed, to
speak PLAINLY, L love You, and would mos.
gladly make you ny wife p
"G ou tiatter me by your preference" good
humoredly replied Miss s., to the surprise
of all present.
mot at all ; I am entirely sincere"
"7hm Irefer you 10 my father"
"Bravow exclaimed the gentleman.
"Well, de-c-l-a-r-ew exclaimed the ade,
in one united chorus.
The lady and gentleman were married soon
after
Wasn't that" asks the narrator "a mod
est way of coming to the point, and lady
like method of taking q man at his word "
ELI
wasn't tanythng else"
A NEW MAaMorH CoMpANY.-Tel.oraplic
Reporting-We have seen it stated in several
Of our northern exchanges, within the last
week, that mammoth telegraph company
has been, or will shortly be, established in
New York, which is to monopolize all, or
nearly all, the telegraphic lines which now
thread the highways and by-ways of the
country. The Morse patent is to be superse-
ded by what is termed the Hughes patent,
which latter instrument is represented to be
of marvellous construction and capacity, so
marvellous, indeed, that it will speedily effect
a complete revolution in the whole of the
present saystem Of telegraphic reporting and
communication. An inteligible description
OF the new wonder working instrument is not
given, neither are we furnished with the sys-
tenn Of operations which is to govern this
mammoth company. But we are assured
however, that means the most ample have al
ready been secured to start i. into immediate
and successful operation.
MASCULINE AND FEMIYryEs.-The number
of males born is always greater than the fe-
males by about four per cent At twenty
years Of age this preponderance is entirely
lost, and there are more females than males,
at forty years the balance is again the other
way, and there are more males than females.
AT seventy the sexes are about even and the
ultimate age OF the human being is reached
without any decided advantage to either sex
There are now 430 American women above
, one hundred years of age.
1 An old fellow, who became weary of his
!. life, thought he might as well commit suicide
d ont he didn't wish to go without forgiving all
c his enemies. So at the last moment he re.
moved the moose from his neck, saying tc
himself-"l never will or can forgive old Noal
Y for letting the copper-head snakes get into
/. the ark. They have killed two thousand dol
If lars worth Of my cattle, and when he and
e meet there'll be general fuss"
= A QUAKER, on hearing man curse q par
u ticular piece of road, went up to him an,
:, said, "Friend, am under obligations to thee
:. y What thou hast done / would have done. bu
u ! my religion forbids it. Don't let my con
" science, however, bride thee. Give thy in
70 D dignation wings and suffer not the prejudice
- OF Others to paralyze the tongue Of justic,
:, and long sufferiug-yea, verify"
e. Bridget Jared badly when she came to Ne,
'e York, and found, TO her ineJpressibe regret
that she had lost her certificate on the wa
across the sea. But her cousin Patrick sur
piled her with another in the following word
is This certi6es that Bridget 0'Flannega
,v had good character when she left IRELAND
re but she lost it on the ship coming over"
P "WHArs IN A NAME?"-A friend Just re
~ turned from abroad, says he once found tw
70 Austrian Custom officers endeavoring L
y ~ make ont his name from his travelling trunk
~ One called while the other wrote. They ha,
&c got it, "Mr. Varanti Solezer." The trun
rs Was marked. Warranted sole-leather."
OF Amanda, does George kiss you because h
ks loves you ?" inquiries little Jacky of his motf
FL er.
is 30 be sure, sonny-whyT
40 "Wall, guess he loves the kitchen gi
c. too, for seen him kiss her MORN forty time
in last Sunday, when you was to meetin'"
IL In certain town of Texas man dare nc
iS swear in presence of woman under penalt
n of fine Dare he not swear he loves her ?
II What tyranny The law was proposed au
as advocated, no doubt, by & bachelor.
Men are never so ridiculous from the qua
itiee they have, as from those they affect
of have the buzzard with his tail spread ca
is never be the lordly peacock.
IS The Sultan Of Turkey had sent to Marsh,
u, Pe,isser magnificent sabre, and conferrS
III upon MN the title OF Sirdar, with pensic
sc OF 100000 (fsOOO) annually.
= TRUE.-When once infdelity can persuaG
O. men that they shall DIE like beasts, they wi
eb soon be brought to LIVE like beasts also.
lis During the last ten months the city go
ly ernment of Boston has paid for "enterta
ir ments' SlO,0G5 70, and for carriage hire 81
u $40 SO.
A. Robt. Owens, whilom Of New Harmony, Ia
q now in London, has recently been converts
81 to spiritualism. He is now so years OF age
ty On Saturday thrty-three slaves, includr
thirteen children, were sold at Richmond, Va
for S20,665.
oy The transfer OF the Canadian seat OF Co
er ernment from Quebec TO Toronto is BEN
ne proceeded with.
rd Mary Sehaetfer aged Is, was burned
IS. death, in Baltimore, on Monday, by the e.
,e. plosion Of a camphene lamp.
/ Ill l.