Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1855-08-23
SAM SLICK'S HORSE TRADE.

SAM sLICK'S HORSE TRADE.
II shall never forget rise ! once took
out Of set of jockies al Albany. had all
evcrIasiin' fss, Narraganssi PAGER once to
SIickvllle. was considerable proud Of
him, ] do assure you, for he took The reg
IF the bush in great style. Well, our sta
| Bile help, Pat NJ M,n"ghan him used 10 cali
Mr.. NJ ,noghsn.) would stuff him wi,h fresh
clover without me knowing il, and, as sure
as rates, broke his " ind in driving him
to, fast 1t gave him the 'heaves,' that is.
il made his h4nks hesve like black ksmiih's
bellows. We call i. 'hesves,' BrI'shers call
! il broke, wind Well, there is no cure
for it. though some folks tell you hornets
ues,, Gu, up fine and put in their meal will
do il aud others say sif, the oats clean,
and give them juniper berries in it, end that
will do il, or ground ginger, or tar, or what
not; but these are all quackerIes. You
can, cure j., for IFS rupture of an arrives
sci, and you can't ge, st il to sew il up
Bu, yen con fix it up BY die', end care, and
rtoper ussge, 8" that YOU csn deceive even
an old hand, providin' you don't let him ride
or DIVE the beast too fast.
"WeIl, doc,ored aud worked with him
go the mos, ;ho, could be perceived was a
Sigh, cold, no.hin' 10 mind, much less TO
| fr,ehlen you. And when ] got him up to
the notch, advertised him for sale, as be.
longing TO q person going Gown east. who
only ra,,ed with him because he thought
him TOO iesvey for man who never ,rav-
elled less than mile in two minutes and
twenty seconds. Well, be was sold a, auc-
ZION and knock K Ell down TO RIP Van Dam, the
attorhev general. for FIVE hundred dollars
and the owner put saddle and bride on
him, and took bet "f two hundred dollars
with me he could do mile in two minutes
and fif,y seconds. He dldn't know me from
Adam personally. q, the time, but he had
heard of me. and bought The horse because
i, wss said Sam Slick owned him.
"Well. he started off, and lost his be,
for when he got near lhe winnin' post .hr
horse choked, fell, and pitched the riler of
halfway to Troy. and nearly died himself.
The umpire handed me the money, and J
dug ou, for The steamboat, m,endln' TO pull
Zoo, f,r home. Just as rearhed the wharf,
! heard my name called out; but ! dIdn''
le, on ! noticed it, and walked shead.-
Presently Van Dam seized me by The shoul-
der. quite out of breath, puAin' and blowin'
like porpoise.
".Mr. Slick said he.
".Yes,' sais j. what's left of me; bu.
good gracons,' sais !, you have got the
'heaves.' hope it sln. ca,chn'.'
".No haven't said he: 'bu. your Gus
sed hoss has, and nearly broke my neck
You are like all the Connec,icu, men ! ev-
er see, o nasty, mean, lnng-necked, long
legged, narrow-ches,ed, slab sided, narrow
sculed, lan,ern-j awed Yankee cheat
".Well.' ssis !, ',ha,'s considerable Of
q long name TO write on The back ot letter,
snt it, Il sinl good to use such swad
of word., lis no wonder you have the
heaves bu, I'll cure you; ! wsrnt brought
up to wrenglin'; hahn, time 10 fight you.
and besides you are br oxen winded but
I'll hesve you over the wharf 10 cool you,
boots and all, by gravy!
"'Didn't you ADVERTISE said he, shat The
only reason you bad 10 part with ,ha, horse
was, he WAS too heavy for man who never
travelled slower than a mile it two minutes
and twenty seconds
"Neve,,' sais !, Il never said such q
word. What will you be! did ?
"'Fify dolIars,' said he.
"'Done,' said ]. And Vanderbilt, Che
was jus, going on board The steamer at The
time e)-'Vsnderbul,,' sais ], 'hold these
stakes, friend, sals Il won't say you lie,
bu. you talk uncommonly like the wsy |
do when lie. Now prove it,
Sand he pulled ou, one OF my printed
advertisements, and said:
"'Read that
DWELL, ] read it. ut aint .here,' said ].
"'An, il said be. u llcave it to Vander-
bili.'
"Mr. Slick said he, 'you have los'-i' is
here.'
"sWiIl you bet fifty dollars,' sais ],
though you have seen it, that IFS there
eyes, ssis he, y will
"Done,' sais ]. Now how do you spell
heavy ?
Ssh e-s~v-y,' said he.
"'Exsc.ly,' ssis !, so do ]. Blu, this is
spell, heavey. did it on purpose. ] scorn
TO take man in about horse, SO ] pub