Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1855-07-28

O,IOFC mem, HHO ftt ms SphNE IW uOUH HpOH
has bcdrd.' Mr.. Jones said his wife wished
to be perlite to her minister, but the very
sight and smell on him made her stummuck
roll over. Father Cleverly, said the paro-
chal relashon was clean spOilt by sich nasty
ways. There was quite n knot got together
at last. Twas down at Cooley's Corner
DR.. Sproule said he well knew the truth OF
what Father Clevcrlv said lie told half a
dozen cases, where sick people wouldn't have
the minister sent for because the smell was
so pcrtickler. He said their narvcs were
weak, and they could mt bear loud talking,
and the minister had to put his mouth right
in their faces, and there was mt one in twen-
ty could stand it, lie told about old Miss
Pennycatcher, what kept the little huckstcr
shop. Snc wasn't over religious. When she
was dying, she got worried with the idea,
that she took too much of little children for
nuts and gingerbread and he said he sent
for you. DR.. Sproule said he told him he
could mt stand it more than once, and that
she had rather die in her sins, than have
sich stinkin' consolation. Squire Google
said, arter all, the example was the worst on
1t. lie had every dirty scamp i'll the parish
looked up to you for pattern. lie said old
Captain kettedrum told him you was the
fugar-that he kept his oyo ON you and
never smoked or chawed any more than the
minister. lie talked good deal about your
leggycy. Mr.. Jones said he supposed Squire
Google put the notion into the head of the
Ma am Macintosh. The Squire said twas
her idea altogether. All agreed it was an
appropayitt gift. lie said the old lady thought
everything Of the Countcrbaste, and asked
him, several years ago, how much it would
cost to put copy into the family of every
minister, in the United States, as II parmy-
nent dockirnent. But We convinced her there
| iuplprp uDrss thut xvnulI
the purpose better.
And now, sir, ! II say few words about
them spittoons, that the young ladies was
gon' to present, on New Years Day. |
h""rd al about it; and talk d vita old
/ Father CIcSerly about ii, and with sir. Jpnc. ,
and DR. Sproulc, aud squire Google, and
they all agreed t was no more nor no less
than an encouragement Of nastyneas. am
goin' to tell the hull truth. | never did
cqulsticate, and | never will. went to
three of the gentlemen, whose dartcrs was
most pertinent in the business, and asked
en- if they would be so good as to meet me,
on Monday mornin' at the meetin' house and
! bring their darters. gin 'om hint OF what
t was tor 50 they said they would. On Mon
day they came | told en- plainly what had
| heerd-tha they was gon to lay out their
money buying you spittoons. | told 'en
| honestly all that Father Cicverly said | told
EN- Id seen them spittoOns at Captain Lun-
/ dy's, and that they wasn't SO biz as the
/ crown Ol n man hat, and that Tor several
| years, d had u pretty considerable candle
box, up in the pulpit, nall full Of sand, and
! that you couldn hit that, or wouldn't. |
| told en- it seemed to come nat raj to YOU, to
! spit oil broadcast, and no splttoOn, smaller
than the pulpit, would be Of any use told
en- had mt yet cleaned the pulpit, but LETT
it for them to examine, jest AS it was, arter
| you had operated. | ax'd EN- to step up and
look at it. 50, arter some little talk as to
who should 50 up first, Miss Spooney went
up. 10 help herself up the stairs, which is
rather inconvenient, she put her hand on the
top rail and when she took it away, some
thing stuck to her yellow glove. Twas your
cud, that you left there. She come down
| quicker than she went up, with her nose in
! the air like u young pinter. They all looked
| into the pulpit, and agreed they wouldn t
have believed that one minister could have
| done it. without assistance Old Col. Picket
was the last to 30 up, and, when he came
| down, he shook his head, and said it did not
| smell orthodox. It's been proposed by some,
instead of pulpit, to lave only II raised
platform, with nothin' rount it, So that every
secret thing shall be brought to light
| Father Cleverly who's amazin' quick for
| text, said, i'll such case you might well
| preach from the latter part of Isaiah, |. g.. ,
hid not my face from shame and splitting.
| DR.. Sproulc, who is full as ready with scrip
turc as Father Cleyerly. said he should re-
commend, in such case, the latter part of
Job, VII. Il. Let me alone, till swallow
my spittle.' ] shall do my utmost to comply
with the will Of Ma am Mackintosh, and
eXart myself agin terbakkor in this parish
and, if you mean to live here, and look arter
the spirytle wants of this people, You had
| better give it up.
Yours to sarve,
:" ELEANAH SPADE"
Very offensive Read this letter to my
wife. Very indignant Made up my mind.
that this is tou much for flesh and blood.
Smoked two Luudys Thought | had some
friends, who would stand by me. Met
Brother Lunt he says they are making the
same fuss about tobacco in his parish. Wrote
u note to my deucons, asking them to call u
meeting OF the society, and 10 present my re-
quest Tor an immediate dlsnissiou resolving
to 90 where might be permitted to enjoy the
good creatures OF God, without persecution.
Smoked one of Lundy 5, and went to bed
ThurSday Jan. II. Written nothing in
my diary, since Monday and as | am to
quit, shall keep it no longer. My parish
toner's had Il meeting yesterday, and granted
my request, Captain Lundy and old Major
Kettledrum said a few things favorable to me
anu +" 'o'"0'o' '"' ''' Vff1'l','n was o'''
whelming 50 much 50 that both my deacon-
took out their cuds, and slipped them int
tneir pockets' ana joined III the general sen
ument, several votes were passed one t(
pay my salary up TO the hrst OF April, anc
the expenses OF my removal u second to IN
crease the compensation OF the sexton {
tnird TO remove the Gandie-box from the pul
plt' ana TO clean ana paint the same and 4
iourth appointed SIroule ana uosgle com