Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1855-08-15
humorous Shettb,
A little too Punctual---a Steamboat
Sketch
Ply THE OLD 'UN.


ders, cabmen and dock loafers, were as
sembled on and about the boat. We were
gazing at the motley group. from the foot
of the promenade deck stairs, when our
attention was attracted by the singular
action of tall brown Yankee, in an i'm
mense wool hat, chocolate colored coat
and pantaloons, and a fancy vest. He
stood near the starboard paddle-box, and
scrutinized sharply every female who
came on board, every now and then con-
sulting an enormous bulls eve watch,
which he raised from the depths Of ca
pacious fob, by means of a powerful steel
chain. After mounting guard in this man
ner, he dashed furiously down the gang
plank and up the wharf, re-appearing on
board almost instantaneously with flush
ed face, expressed the most intense anxi-
city. The series of operations he perform,
ed several times, after which he rushed
about the boat, wildly and hopelessly
calculating:
What's the time er day Wonder if
my repeater's fast? Whar's the capn :?
whars the steward ? whar's the mate :?
whar's the boss that owns the ship?"
What's the matter sir 2" we ventured
to ask, when he stood still for moment.
Hain't seen nothin' Of gal in blue
sun bonnet with white Canton Grape
shawl, (cost fifteen dollars,) pink gown
and brown boots, hey? come aboard
while | was looking for the cap'n at the
pint end Of the ship-have ye? hey p
No such person has come aboard"
Tormented hghtnin' she my wife p
he screamed, married yesterday. All
her trunks and mine are aboard, under a
pile Of baggage as tall as the Connecticut
steeple. The darn'd black niger saws
he can't hand it out, and won't leave nv
baggage any how. My wife-only think
of twas to come aboard at half-pasl
four, and here its almost FIVE. You
don't think she's been abducted, do We
mister Speak answer! won'tye? Oh
Pm ravin' distracted! What are they
ringing that bell for? Is the ship afre 2
cit is the signal for departure
first bell. The second will be rung il
four minutes"
Thunder you don'tsay so? Whar's
the cap'n p
THAT gentleman in the blue coat"
The Yankee darted to the captains side
"Cap'n, stop for ten minutes, won't YEP
| can't do it, SIR
But ye must, tell you. I'll pay YOU
for it. How much will you ak? 2"
could not do it."
Cap'n, I'll give ye tew dollars" gasp
the Yankee.
The captain shook his head.
"Pll give We five dollars and half
and half-and a half-and half !'-he
kept repeating, dancing about in his agony
like mad jackasS on hot iron plate.
The boat starts at,five precisely, "saiC
the captain, shortly, and turned away.
i 90 you Sunny hearted heather !" mul
INJURED the Yankee, almost bursting into
tears. Partin' man and wife, and We
Just one day married"
At this moment the huge paddle-wheels
began to paw the water, and the walking
beam descended heavily, shaking the
huge fabric to her centre All who were
not going to New Haven went ashore
The hands begun to haul in the gang
plank; the fasts are already cast loose.
Lego that plank - roared the Yam
kee, collaring one Of the hands. "Dror
it like a hot potato, or I'll heave We into
the dock"
Yo-YoW shouted the men in choru;
! as they heaved on the gangway.
"Shut up you braying donkeys!" vel
led the maddened Yankee, "or there'll
be an ugly spot of work.
, But the plank was got aboard, and the
! boat splashed past the pier.
In an instant the Yankee pulled off hi
coat, flung his hat beside it on the deck
and rushed wildly to the guard.
: care you drunk or crazy?" cried {
passenger, selling him.
"I'm goin' to fling myself into the docl
and swim ashore!" cried the Yankee
II mustn't leave Sairy Ann alone in New
York city. You may divide the baggage
among you. Let go me. | can swim.
, He struggled so furious that the conse
quences might have been fatal had not {
/, sudden appariton changed his purpose
: A very pretty young woman in blue
9 bonnet, white Canton Grape shawl, came
towards him and said:
"nere l am Zacariah."
The big brown Yankee uttered ont
stentorian shout of =" Sairy Ann p claspeC
( her in his arms, in spite of her struggling
and kissed her heartily, right before al
the passengers.
$ Where did you come from ?" he in
CURED.
:, From the ladies' cabin" answered tn
e bride. You told me half past four, bu
l tho't I'd make sure and come at four"
"A little too punctual ?" said the Van
! kee. But it's all right now. Halo
cap'n you can go ahead now. | dom
) care about stopping. Came nigh losini
, the passage money and the baggage
a came nigh gettin' drowned, Sairy, all 70
: you-but it's all right now. Go aheac
steamboat Rosin up there fremen, dar
the expense.
When the sun set, the loving coupl
, were seen seated on the upper deck, tn
! big brown Yankees arm encircling tn
slender waist Of the young woman in tn
: blue bonnet and pink dress. We believ
l they reached their destination safe an
sound.
N@A An old gentleman a tho roooy