Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-13
The uappiest Man out of Jail.

most recent anhtc sbdihI' H''i'NN a.
small Inn near Boston, and wanted the
landlord 10 send for minister to 'splice
! en- and to be quick about it.
The landlord complied, and The 'lccns-
ed minister came.
BE YOU the minister , asked the bride
groom.
Il am, replied he.
oh, your be, ,eh What's your name!
! Stiggins.
Wal, meow S,iggins, said the ankee
DO il up brown, and your money Is rea-
dv: and forthwith the reverend gentleman
commenced
You will please 10 Join hands.
The Yankee stood up by his iady-love'
and seized he, fervenlly by the hand.
You promised Mir A. said the
Darson, TO take this woman
.Yaes = said the bridegroom.
TO be your lawful and welded wife
'Yeas-yeaS =
THAT YOU will love and honor her in
all things 2
'Sarlin-yedS!'
That YOU will cling TO her and her
only. as long as you both shall live 2
Yeas. i,ideed-nothing else = contin-
! ued the Yankee, in the most delighted
and earnest manner.
But here the reverend clergyman halt
ed,much TO the surprise OF all present and
to the especial annoyance and discomfort
of the resident bridegroom.
'One moment, my friend,' responded
the minister, slowly; for II occurred to
him that the laws of his State did not
permit this performance with the publish
menl' of the bans for certain length Of
time.
.What-what-wh in ihunder's the
Imdtier y
Don't stop here ! Put her thru What's
; split, parson! Anything eout "
Just at this moment, my friend, |
have remembered that YOU cannot he
married in Massachusetts, as the law
Cunt! What in naurs' the reason
| like her she likes NE; what's TO hen
der.
You have not been published, Sir, l
suspect
That's a fact; amt agoin' 10 be,nuther;
that's the reason why we crossed over
into your little Rhody,' (Ihe scene was on
the border Of Rhode lsland,) on the sly,
you see, parson.
I-reaIy-Sr.' said the minister.
R.a.elIy wal, never mind, 60 ahead.
'Taint fair-don't you see taini You've
married me and hainl leeched her +! Now
don't stop here Tanl the fair thing, by
gracious taint now, and you know it.
i will consuI'-said the minister, hes
itaIngIy.
No you won't-no. you don't! You
don't consult noiin' nor nobody, until
this ere business is concluded y And
with thi, he turned the key, and put It
Larnd the tilterings OF the Witnesses
whom the landlord had called in) in his
pocket.
SEEING the hand Of lis trembling
briGe, he said
go on now, straight from where you
left off, put us thru and it'll be all right;
if il Amt right, we II make it right in the
morning; as the saying is.'
After refecllng moment, the parson
concluded to run the risk OF the infor-
nifty, so he continued:
You promise, madam, TO take this
man to be your lawful husband 2
'Yaes said The Yankee, as the lady
bowed.
That you will love, honor, and obey
him
'Them's 'em,' said Johnathan, as the
lady bowed again.
'And that you will cling TO him 50 long
as you both shall live
That's the talk stick 10 one another
allers-and the lady said yes again.
Then in the presence Of Witnesses, L
pronounce you man and wife
'Hoorah shouted Johnathan, leaping
half way to the ceiling with Joy
And wha, God has joined together, Ic,
no man put assunder. IIooroh! shouted
Johnalhsn. What's the price! (rhe
psrson seemed to hesitate.
How much! spit il out Don't be a.
feared. You did II like book. Here's.
V. Never mind the change. Send for
hack, landlord. Give US your bi!l, I've
got her Hail CoIumby.'
The poor fellow seemed 10 be entirely
unable to control Iils Joy and ten minutes
afierward be was on bis way 10 The rail.
road depot with his wife. The happiest
man out Of jail" said the eyewitness
vino described tie scene.
An elderly gentleman travelling IN
s.age-coach who bad been amused by
constant fire of words, kept up between
iwo old women, was asked by one ol lhem