davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-08-02
LAND AGENCY OFFICE.

NORTHWEST CORNER aUARLEs' BLOCK, KENosHA
WISCONSIN, sazs
WNTOULD respectfully invite the attention of all
w persons having property for salo or wishing
to purchase, either City Lots or Country Lands, TO
tie fact that they prepared for the transaction of
General Land Agency Bnsiness.
They keep Book for the purpose OF registering
property for sale rent Persons having propery
Tor sale are invited to make this office their head
quarters They will also give attention to the pay
ment of Taxes for nonrcsidcnts and in fact attend
to all matters connected with Real Estate [lyn3
Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-08-02

ATONE WARE. Five hundred Gallons 70,
osale at METCALF 81 MERRILLS.
Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-08-02

FHNRiCOPHEROUS & KATHAIRON. far
x the mar at METcALF & MERRn's
Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-08-02

ntNLAVORING EXTRACTS Lemon, Or
IL ange, Peach, and Vanilla. Rasns and Ctrou
and nice, al
METCALF & MERRILL'S
Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-08-02
O. @ NTos


By this route the night travel on the entire line
will be performed on Steamboats, txuriously furn
;shcd, and the day light passed among the sublime
scenery Of The great Lakes and the river St. Law
nee, Straits of Mackinaw, and the AlanitouIin
Islands. SAUL Ste Marie and the Million Islands
oil Georgian Bay" Travellers will also have as
opportunity Of viewing the Great Suspension
Bridge, Niagara Falls. The Jbcusand Islands, ano
the Rapids Of the st. Lawrence.
Be this Line. Passengers from Lake Michigan
will arrive at Mackinaw and have sufficient time
to examine the curosties Of this celebrated Island
where the Boats will connect with other steamers
to SAINT Ste Marie, and Lake Superior; from
Mackinaw passing the Maniionlin Islands at Col
lingwood, aud Railway 10 TORONTO, crossing
Lake Ontario in The night III first class Boats to
Buffalo, Rochester, Osyyego, Cape Vici.nt,
OSdensiurg, Hin 2ston and Mnntrcaco
Passengers ~ this Line viii perform the trl
East by a more Northern koute than any other
avo ding the heat and dust encountered on other
Lines, and enjoying the pleasure of passing thro
heretofore untrHvelied Route TO the East.
The following Magnificent Beats comprise the
Line:
Key Stone State, Captain j. s. Richards,
1900 Tons Barthen.
Lady Elgin, Captain L. ChamJerlin, 1887
Tons Burthen.
Niagara, Capt. r. s. Miller, 100 Tons
Burlhen.
Queen City, Captain B. wilkins, 900 Tons
Burthen.
One of which viii leave KENoSHA every
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday Etenings
touching at Racine, Milwaukee, Shebo gan, Man
itoWoc. and Twin Rivers
Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-08-02

& bELAiNs, CAsslMEREs, THIBETs, MERIxos.
h1with an endless variety of TRIMMINGS. just
received and for sale at METCALF& MERIT
Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-08-02

NH EtRiMACk PRINTS! One Bale Of
SA merTiinac Prints, genuine article al eleven
cents ayard, at METCALF g. MERRIL,S
Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-08-02

CST NOTICE. We wish to call attention.
~ to n lot of DeLaines just received, which We
SHAH sell for less than il cost 10 mako them
November 30. METCALF d MERRILL.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
A Remarkable Man.

There is a gentleman residing in ihis
city who came here tweniy-three years
ago from England, and brought with him
some three hundred guineas OF his own
hard earnings with which he commenced
business as grocer on small scale. Lit
tie by little he increased his trade, and at
the present time he is probably worth
more than any other man in Massachusetts
in the same line Of business. During the
period Of twenty y-three years he never gave
note of hand or took one; he never sued
a man and was never sued himself, nor
even called on the witness stand in any
court during the whole period. He was
never naturaized, and of course never vo-
ted, although he has paid thousands OF
dollars for State and county taxes. lie
has been known TO buy a cargo Of West
India Goods amounting to 100000, for
which he paid cash on delivery. lie
never deals in or drinks intoxicating Ii
quors; never gives dollar for chariia,
Die purpose where he thinks his name
will appear in newspapers, although he
has distributed thousands to the distress o!
his fellow.men. Can such another man
be found in this or any other county,
! Boston Times.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
TERMS OF OUR PAPER

The SHEpHERDsrowN REGISTER is published
weekly at 50 year, positively to be paid before
the year expires. No paper discontinued (ex'
cept at the option of the editor) until all ar
rearages are paid up. Single copies o. cents
ADVERTISEMENTS Of one square or less oo
cents for the first insertion and % cents for each
insertion thereafter-larger ones IN the same
proportion. Advertisements not marked ior any
speci6ed time are continued till forbid and char
ged accordingly. A deduction made to those
who advertise by the year.
Letters or Communications to the Editor, up
on which there is postage, unless they contain
money, should be postpaid TO insure attention.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
JEFFERSON COUNTY, Va SATURDAY MORNING. OTO

line for you when you haven't anything
else TO do
Use on han for all dem kline of jobs,
myself, is
well. you see that large cheese back
there 2
Il does dat! | does myself
Nov, if you can butt dent in 1t, you
shall have it,
.Golly, Massa. you foolin dis niger!
No, am not, Jake; just try me-
Wot! you glib me de hull OBJ dat cheese
if butts dent in um "
Yes
DE LORI I'll bust EN- wide open.
will, myself. Jest stan back dar, you
Orleans niggers, an clar de track Tor Ole
Souf Carlina, case Use comm, myself,
| is
And Old Jake started back some fifty
feet and went al it al good quick rum
and the mex, instan, heard dull, heavy
sound, a kind of 'squlsh,' and old
Jake's head disappeared from sight, with
the top just visible on the other SIDE. as
he arose from his newfashloned necklace
the soft rotten cheese oozing down all
around him as il settled down, so that just
lis eyes were visible. From the centre
of il Jake's voice was scarcely audible
and half smolhered, as he vainly tried TO
remove the immense cheese.
.O-o-o-o er de Lor! Mass-took UNI
off! GOO Dressed Lor ! Lif um up.
Cor nifty T.
Meanwhile was nearly dead myself,
having laid back on cotton bale holding
myself together to keep from bursting
while the boys stood around Old Jake
paying him off.
DE Lor ! how de nigga's bref smell
You dosen't clean your teef, Old Jake !!
i say you didn't make more dan
four times dat han, did you, ole hoss 2
We'll, you is nasty niger, dats
fac!' ~
We'll, you is de biggest kline Of Welsh
Rabbit, you is = u
'Whar you git your har grease 2 and
thus The boys run Old Jake-now half
smothered-unti | took compassion on
him, and told them to take it off, Jake
ddn't stay TO claim his prize but put out
growing.
'Gor nifty | dun got sole dat time !
Use a case Oh yaller feber-I is, myself f!
Old Jake was never known TO do any
more but,ing in that locality afterwards.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
M3SCBI5ARBOTS,
[From the Spirit Of the Times.l
How Jake was Cured of Butting

How Jake was Cured OF Butting.
Some years since | was employed a;
warehouse clerk in New Orleans ant
while in that capacity, the following fun
ny incident transplred ...
One day, vessel came in, consigned
to tine house, having on board large lo
CT cheese from New York. During the
voyage some Of them had become dam
aged by bilge' water, consequently the
owners refused 10 receive them; they
were, therefore, sent TO The consignees o
the ship, to be stored until the case should
be adjusted. | discovered few days af.
forwards, that as 10 perfume, they were
decidedly too fragrant 10 remain in the
warehouse in June, and reported the same
TO my employees, from whom | received
orders TO have them overhauled, and send
all that were possible 10 auction to be
disposed Of for the benefit of the under
writers, and the rest to the swamp. ]
got gang of blac k boys to work on
them. and when they stirred 'em up, BE
the bones Of Moll Kelley's quart mug,
but the smell was Elegant intirely.' |
kept respectable distance, believe me,
for strong niger and strong cheese, on
hot June day, just bangs all common
essences. including certain varmint we
read about. s..saa % s..ras.9 .aJ a-
Presently the boys TUNED out an i'm.
mense fellow about three foot six across
the stump from which the box had rot,ed
of; in the centre space of ten inches was
very much decsyed and appeared TO be
about the consistency Of mush, Of blush
tint, which was causedbv the bilge water.
The boys had jus, Sc. it up on its edge
on bale of gunny bags, when | noticed
over the way big darkey hhen on sale)
from Charleston, s. c.. who was notori-
Gus for his bu.,ing propensi,ies, having
given most of the niggers in that vicinity
taste Of his quality in sha. line. A
thought struck me tina. l might cure him
of his Dragging and buiting, and have
some sport aIso,so l told the boys 10 keep
dark, and called old Jake over. and said.
They tell me you are great fellow
for bu,ting, Jake III -,
.Iis some, Massa. dal's a fac-i done
but de wool tirely orf ole Pete's head las
night, and Massa Nichols was gwine 10
give me goss! l can jes bang de head orr
any nigga in desc parts, myself, kin J!
We'll, Jake, I've got ali,,ie JOB In that
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
P R | D E /.

'Tis curious fact as ever was known
In human nature, but often shown
Alike in Castle and cottage,
That pride, like pigs of certain breed,
Will manage to live and thrive on "feedn
AS poor as pauper's pottage!
OF all the notable things on earth,
The queerest one is pride Of birth,
Among our "ferce democracy !"
A bridge across hundred years, .-.
Without prop 10 save it from sneers-
Not even a couple of rotten Peers
A thing fer laughter, sneers, and jeers,
Is American Aristocracy!
Depend upon it my snobbish friend,
Your family thread you can't ascend,
Without good reason to apprehend
You may find it waxed at the further end
BY some plebian vocation
Or, worse than that, your boasted line
May end in a loop of stronger twine
That plagued some worthy relation
Because you flourish in Worldly affairs,
Don't be naughty, and put on airs,
With insolent pride of station
Don't be proud and turn up your nose
At poorer people in palmer clothes;
But learn, for the sake Of your minds repos
That wealth's bubble that comes and goes
And that all proud flesh, wherever it grows,
Is subject 10 irritation
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
A Raftsnmns First View OF a Locomo-
tive.


The following must be an old story
but, if so, il is good enough 10 pass sec
oad reading:
Ata most delightful country town IN
New Jersey, called BOrden,own, the Del
aware makes a short turn TO the west
ward, and has in consequence thereof,
worked for itself quite deep bay on the
Jersey shore. This bay, from lis being
protected from the winds and 'out OF the
tide is favorable harbor of the rafssmen
who annually come down that noble rtver
by hundreds, bringing acres oil LUMBER
much of it from the very source OF the riv-
er, in the State Of New York. Now ear
Ilv in the spring Of lS-, when the Cam.
den and Amboy Railroad was first put IN
operation. (the railroad bye-ihe-bye, runs
round the edge of the above mentioned
bay.) a certain Sam Sims, with young
man who reioieed in the name OF lchabod
Twodle, cane down the river on raft OF
white pine boards, and about eight o.
clock, Of cold blustery, cloudy night.
were busly engaged securing their rait
in the above mentioned bay, when lcha-
bod was startled by sort OF belching
rumblng noise he turned 10 Sam, and
with long, grave face, almost whisper
ed
"What is that -
Sam shook his hoary head, but spake
not-lhe sound came nearer, but nothing
was to be seen; the occupants stood still
in amazement, The silence only broken by
the superhuman noise, and an occasional
exclamation of J.h-u.a from lchsbod.
Both stood with their eyes in the direction
of the sound, when round the point be-
low, not 800 yards from them, came
thng-a very demon, belchiag out smoke
and ire, ut,ering the most horrid groans
and shrieks.
oh Lord oh Lord I shouted Icha-
bod, Sam, Sam, give me that axe here
comes the devil! Give me that axe YOU
darned old fool Lord Lord Lord |!
Will The folks 10 hum ever believe that |
come down here to Underwater TO be tuck
right off by the old devil =
Ichabod whirled the axe round his head
in regular backwoods fsshion, and stood
his ground like man; bat on came The
devil, apparently straight for the raft
Oh how the sparks few, Qhey had not
then invented the patent spark catcher.)
Ichabod looked round, old Sam was ma
king for the out.shore side Of the raft; there
was no time IN think about il, il was free
zing and cold, and the ice was floating in
small cakes down the river but lchabod
dropping the axe and singing out--'You
will have darned good swim to catch
me ! made one jump TO the side of the
raft, and another overheard, and struck
out like man for The Pennsylvania shore.
al least mile distant.
In the meantime, Sam, in running a..
cross the raft in his fright. caught his foot
and down he'went. He got up, looked
round, the devil had passed, and was puff
fng and blowing up The hill beyond. ~
Sam called Ichabod back. and they
proceeded to the tavern, where they rela-
ted their adventure much 10 the amuse-
ment Of their fellow rahsmen.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
Is 1t So f!

Somebody--we don't know who, and
it makes no difference--thus warns young
men 10 look out for the women
Young man keep your eyes open
when vOu are after the women Is t1e
pretty dress or form attractive ! Or a
pretty face even ? FIounces, boy, are no
consequence. A pretty face will grow
old. Paint will wash off. The sweet
smile Of the hirt will give way TO the
scowl of the termagant. The neat form
will be pitched into calico. Another and
far different being will take the place of
the lovely goddess who smiles sweet and
eats candy. Keep your eye open, boy,
when you are after the women. II the
little dear is cross, and scolds at her moth
er in the back room, you may be sure that
you will get particular fits all around the
house. If she opologises for washing
dishes, you will need girl 10 fan her. If
she bushes when found at The wash tub
with her sleeves rolled up, be sure, sir,
that she is snobbish, little breeding and lii
tie sense. If you marry girl who knows
nothing but to commit woman slaughter
on the piano, you have got the poorest
piece Of music ever got up. Find one
whose mind is right, then pitch in. Don't
be hanging around like sheep thief, as
though you were ashamed TO be seen in
the day time, but walk uplike chicken
10 the dough, and ask for the article like
man. All of which, Meph. declares to be
like perpetual motion or cure for sea
sickness, beautiful in theory, but not
worth a confinentdt - in practice.
Courtship according to Meph. is a great
leveller il takes in heroes, poets, sages
and swells, and turns them all out on
common platform Of fools /! o.. -
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
Buffalo Gals.

Who is it that ever attended concert
OF Negro minstrels, that has not been dis
posed to admire the excessive modesiy Of
the 'Buffslo gals, who require such in
cessant invitations 10 come out even at
night. To show that The fair ladies' Of
that city still retain their modesly, We
copy from the Republic the following.
which occurred there:-
"CoLLooUY.--An affected lady about
to be married, in this place. not four hun
dred miles from the city, went TO look at
some furniture. She wished particularly
to have piece 0! furniture 10 sci in the
corner OF the parlor. upon which 10 place
books and curiosiiies. She saw several,
but they did not suit. Ii seems she could
not explain what she wanted. Finally
said she-'MisteT, have you got any with
under trousers in them ? with what
inP calculated the surprised dealer in re-
neered cherry, &c, with what inf-
What under frow.troW-froU-scr in
lhemv And what the d--duce,
madam, would you do with under trew-
sess ma piece of furniture like that =
'Why, TO put shells and euriosiiies in,'
said the pink Of nature, FOR Shells &e..
'Ah Oh bem You mean drawers eh |,
Why didn't you say 20 : Walk up stairs.
ma aa. The lady collapsed, snd foot
man placed her III al open cbsriclee quick
er' n fash
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
CRD3Cg sg03!gg:2a 3 2
ARISTOCRACY.

Perhaps the best hit at republican aristoera-
cy, of which the present times are so proIlhc,
is the following, from the pen of John G. SAKE
1t has universal application, and is warran-
ted good for all localities. The exquisite Fitz
Fricke, in Light and Darkness, is not the on
ly man who, from the bit terness of his soul,
has cursed ''that id soap business" or
some similar occupation of their respected an
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
Young Man, you're Wanted.

A woman wants you. Don't forget
her. No matter if You are poor. Dom
wait 10 be rich; if you do. ten 10 one il
you are fit TO be married. Marry while
you are young. and struggle up together.
.-Eretange.
But mark, young man, woman don't
want you If she is to divide your affections
with cigar, spittoon or wbiskey JUG.
Neither does she want yon, Il you can't
lake care of her and any little after
thoughts which are pretty certain to fol-
low. Neither does she want you simply
because you are a man, the dehnHlon OF
which is too apt 10 bean animal that
wears biiutcaled garments on his lower
limbs, a quarter sec,l0h Of stove-Pipe on
his iresd. swears like pirate and is given
10 filthy practices generally. She wants
you if you have learned 10 regulate your
passions and appelites;-in short, she
wants yon, if you are made IN The image
of God, no, in the likeness of beast.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
HELMBOLD's HIGHLY CONCENTRATED
COMPOUND Fluid Extract SarSaparilla,

CUHlpUuIu fIuiu EAIIdCt dlSdpdIlild,
For Purifying the Blood, Removing all
Diseases Arising from Excess of
Wercry, Exposure and Imprudence
IN Life, Chronic Constitutional Dis
ease, arising from an Impure state Of
the Blood. and The only reliable and
ffeci,aI kno,on remedy for The care
Of Scrofuia, Salt Rheeina, ScaM Head,
t7ceraf,ony Of the Ihroqt and Legs,
Pains and SWtIiiags Of The Bones,
Tetter, Pim,pies on the Fnce, and oH
Scaly Erupfi0ns of the Skin.
This article is now prescribed by some of the
most distinguished Physicians IN the country,
and has proved more efficient IN practice than
any preparation of SarsapariIla yet offered to the
public. Several cases Of secondary Syphilis
Mercurial and Scrofulous diseases have entirely
recovered in the incurahle wards Of our PubDIc
Institutions which had for many years resisted
every mode of treatment that could be devised
These cases furnish striking examples OF the sal
urary effects Of this medicine in arrestlng some
ofthe most inveterate diseases, after the glands
were DESTROYED and the bones already affected.
NOTICE-Letiers from responsible Physi-
clans and Professors of several Medical Colleges
and certificates of cures from patients will be
found accompanying both Preparations.
EEy- Prices.-Fluid Ertract Of Batchu
81 per bottle, or 6 bottles for S5. Flu,
id Eriract Sarsaparilla, 5 per bottle
or 6 bottles for $5, equal in strength
to one gallon Syrup of Sarsaparllla.
E% Prepared ana sold by H. 4. Helmbold
Chemist, 263 Chestnut Street, near the Girard
House, Philadelphia. To be had Of CHARLES
HARPER, Shepherdstown, Va, and Of Drug.
gis,s and Dealers everywhere. OT All Letters
directed to the Proprietor or Agent receive i'm.
mediate attention.
June 2, 1855. 2s-ly
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
SADDLE & HAhMhhSS SIS
MAKING,

n THE undersigned would respectfully
S-n L announce to his friends and the pub
EsNM lie generally that be has commenced
The above business in the Room one door cas-,
of J. H. McEndIes's Store, where he will keep
on hand and make TO order
EVERY DESCRIPTION OF WORK
in bis line. His work will be made Of the best
material and on the most reasonable terms. He
hopes by strict attention 10 business and de-
sire to please, merit and receive share Of the
pnb lie patronage. Repairing done at the short
est notice. JOIN a, FLEMING.
Shepherdslown, July %, s55 S6-3m
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
Constitutional Debility,

brought on by seli-abuse, most terrible disease
which has brought thousands Of the human race
to untimely graves, thus blasting the brilliant
hopes of parents, and blighiug in the bud the
elor ms ambition of many noble youth, can
hp cnrsd by This
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20

HoRRIsLg AccIDEsT.--A man whose
name We learn wss James Malcolm, resi-
ding near Caespon, Vuginisn, was run
over by the ears on Saturday lass al that
place, and literally torn 10 p.rces. Two
IraIHs met algai point. osly one Of which
he observed, and stepping of the main
track upon The switch 10 avoid il, the OH.
er Irain knocked ham down, and every car
passed over him. lie WAS cut into at ms.
--CualJeTLald Telegraph.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
INFALLIBLE REMEDY,

And as a medicine which must benefit every
body, from the simply delicate to the confined
and despairin9 Invalid, no equal is to he found,
ACTING BOTH AS A CURE AND PRE-
NENrIYE.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-10-20
SOUTHERN PROTECTION
D ] R A c [ co N ? A I Y
ALEXANDRIA, VA.
UP Capital oper 100000, and constantly in
creaSing SO

THE Charter of this Company offers more fa-
i vorabe advantages TO the farmer and others
than any other Company chartered in the State,
by insuring with or without premium note.
If the applicant prefer, he can pay the full a.
mount Of the premium in cash, or by efecting
cash insurance for two years, the insured saves
one eighth of the amount he would otherwise
have TO pay or by becoming member and
giving small premium note, the insured saves
nearly one half of the amount charged by Stock
Companies, when nsurng from year TO year.
This is the advantage resulting from the COM
bina ton of the a,A
CASH AND MUTUAL PRINCIPLE.
This Company commenced issuing Policies
against loss or damage by fire, on the 10th day
OF March, 1854, since which time over Eight
hundred persons have become members of the
Company, and are increasing their business dai-
ly and feel grateful for the liberal patronage
bestowed upon the Company thus far, and for
It's flat ering prospects OF future usefulness. The
Directors hope and believe, that by prudence,
caution, and rigid system Of economy, they
will establish for this Company reputation for
cheapness and safety, not surpassed by any
Company in the United States.
All differences IN settlement Of losses may
be determined by three disinterested Arbitra-
tors, of the County where such loss happened,
to be mutually chosen by the insured and the
DIRECTORS:
II. w. THOMAS, CHRrsToPHER NEALE,
CHAs. f. STUART, w. ID. MASSEY,
S. 5. MASTERS, GEO A. TAvENNER,
w. Il. HARPER, 7. T. HILL,
JAMES t. CLOSE, SHoLTo Il. STUART,
HENRY ShALKELEoRD, EDWARD SANGsTER,
OFF ICERS:
III. w. THOMAS, CHAs. f. STUART,
President Counsellor.
w d. MASSEY, GEO A. TAyENNER,
Tice President Treasurer.
JAMES L. CLOSE, Secretary.
AZ Applications for Insurance can be made
to our Agent, at Shepherdstown, Va.
J. 7. A. ENTLER, Agent.
June l6, 1855. 3O-ly