Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1855-12-07
A new Way Of Taking Papers.

A new Way Of Taking Papers.
"You have hens at home, of course.
Well, l will send you my paper one year
for the proceeds OF a single hen for one
season merely the proceeds. l. seems
,rihing, prep)sterous to imagine the pro
duets Of single hen will ray the sub
scription; perhaps it won't, but l make
the!offer.'
"Done, DONE" exclaimed farmer b. 81
agree to it." and appealed to me as wit
hess in the affair.
The farmer went away apparently much
elated with his conquest, and the editor
"went on his way rejoicing"
Time rolled around, and the world re-
volycd on It's axis, and the sun novel in
its orbit just as it formerly did, the far
mcr receiving Ais paper regularly, and re-
galed himself with the Information from
it. He not only knew the affairs of his
own county, but became conversant upon
the leading topics Of the day, and the po-
litical aud financial commissions Of the
times. His children delighted, too, in
perusing the contents Of their weekly Wis
itor. In short, he said, "he was surprised
at the progress of himself and family in
general information"
Sometime in the month of September, l
happened up again in the office, when who
sh uli enter, but our old friend farmer b.
"IIow do you Do, Mr.. B. said the eli-
tor, extending his hand and his countC-
nance lit up with bland smile "takc a
chair, sir, and be seated; fine weather"
"Yes, sir, quite fine indeed answered
the farmer, shaking the profered paw
Of the editor, and then short silence en-.
sued, during which our friend i. Litchod
his chair backward AID forward, twirled
his thumbs abs;ractcl!y, and spit lrotuse-
ly. Starting up quickly, he said, address
lug the editor, "Nr. D., | have brought
you the proceeds Of that hen" 1t was
amusing TO see the peculiar expression of
the editor as he followed the farmer down
to the wagon. could scarcely keep my
risibles down. When at the wagon the
farmer commenced handing over to the
editor the products of the hen, which, on
being counted, amounted to eighteen pull
lets, worth shilling each, and number
of dozen of eggs, making in the aggregate
at the least calculation, $3.50, one dollar
more than the price Of the paper.
"No need said he, "of men not taking
a family newspaper, and paying for it, too,
| don't miss this from my roost, yet /
have paid for years subscription, and
dollar over. All folly, sir; there is no
man but can take paper; it's charity,
sir; charity, you know, commences at
home"
Bat" resumed the editor, 81 will pay
for what is over the subscription. | did
not institute this as means Of profit, but
rather to convince you. l will pay you
for
.Not BIT of it, sir; bargain is a
bargain, and l am already repaid, sir
doubly paid, sir. And whenever a neigh
Dor makes the complaint l did, | will re-
late to him the hen story. Good day: gen.
,lemen," ,"-Lagramye Wig.
PURE AIR.-Iu about two and half
minutes, all the blood contained in the
human system, amounting to nearly three
gallons, travcrses the respiratory surface
Every one, then, who breahes an impure
atmosphere two and half minutes, has
every particle of his blood acted on by the
ritialiug air. Every particle has become
less vital, less capable of repairing strict
ures, or Of carrying oE functions and the
longer such air is respircd, the more i'm
pure does it become, and the blood neces-
sarily becomes more corrupt.
A joke was played in Toledo, Ohio, by
the telegraph operators on Saturday, in
sending to the hotels and dcpots about
town, to enquire for trunk marked al.
Il. FAINT After close search by the
baggage masters, clerks, &c, all came to
the conclusion that the E'cptant always
takes his trunk with him.