Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1855-08-23
Ben, pn5te + Srissprs.
rGiantS are seldom overlooked.

uhIGHSG WITH tue last WOTu.'
GTWe know a nam so opposed 10 Catholic
ism that he won't travel on "croSS'' roads.
CkFThe reason why many ladies' Golg6 an
offer, OF marriage is because the question is
popped at them
HALLucINATIoN.-- lend man five dol
lars and expect TO set i'baek again with out
losing his esteem.
MA friend Of ours is about to get up an
almanac in which all stormy and cold weather
is 10 be kept out.
13'lf you observe a gentleman with his arm
around young lady, it is morally certain that
they are net married.
q SallyJOn says when she was in love,
She let as II she was in a tunnel, with train
Of cars coming both ways.
1J'"iob, YOU are missing all !he silh.s Oh
this side" "Never mind Tim, | am sighting
all the misses on this side"
0-FMrs Paringon says that she was much
eIucidated last Sunday, on hearing fine con-
course OH the parody Of the prodigious sun.
ri'rhe story OF man who had nose SO
large that lie couldn't blow it wthoat the use
OF gunpow er, has turned out 10 be hoax.
o. Sam Slick describes q Grahamie as
"gander gutted looking crit'er, as hollow as
bamboo walking caue, and twice as yal!eI."
| G-j'A man advertising for "competent per-
sons TO undertake the sale Of new medicine"
says the medicine Will be profitable 10 the un-
derlaker.
O. wag thus eulogiSes his musical attain
inlents-"l know Two tunes, the one is 'AuId
ID,.u opl 81 ,,,i I IL,
sing the latter"
05A French medical Journal states, among
other things, that tall men live longer than
those Of small stature. or couse they do, and
lie longer in bed.
1TI say, Pat. are you asleer?"
''Deyll the sleep"
"Then he after endn' ne a quarter"
81 am asleep, Je jabCrS."
f+'T There are trees in Wisconsin tl.at take
two men and a boy to look a. The top Of lhem.
One 10 ks Till he gets tired, aud another COM
menceS where he LETT of.
IVA yourg thief who Was CHARGED viii
picking pockets, demurred TO he Indictment,
because he tad never '2oc'!y picked them. lie
always took them as they cane.
Tran article in a exchange, announcing
the GeceaSe OF person, SuyE,-"HIS remains
were committed 10 that bourne from whence
| no Traveller retnrns attsndeL by his friends"
o. Busy not Yourself in looking forward 10
the events Of tomorrow; but w atever Elay be
those of the days Providence may yet assign
;Cu, neglect not TO tuIn them 10 advantage.
Horace,
G-7-"Mr. Jones, don't yo1 thnk marriage is
n means n ur1ce in onv,hiI
is means of grace that breaks up pnje and
leads 10 repentance" Scene closes with a
broom handle.
lJ7We asked hard case tie other day, if
he had anything s'ofCd up in heaven "Sar
tain, sartain," replied lie, 81 guess they must
Gc laid up there if anywhere, Ior hain't got
any laid up {: hcmr."
. ~ Never trust secret with married man
7 who loves his wife, for he will tell her she
will tell her Aunt Hannah, and Aunt Hannah
will lmpdrt ii as profound secret 10 every Of
her female companions.
~ An lrishmnn and an Englishman falling
out, the former threatened his opponent, that
if he did not hold lis tongue, lie "would
break his impenehab!e stall, anG let all his
brains out OF his cmpty heed"
= giA dandy in Broadway, trying 10 be W.T.
. ty, accosted the old Eellman thus ID say
saw, you take all sorts Of inmpery in your
( cart aw, don't ynu av ?''-"IeS, yes, saw"
| said old bell, "jump in, quick aw."
l5A young lady WAS recently cured Of pal
! piLation of the heart by young ". D. in the
, most natural way imaginable. He held one of
y her hands in his, put his arm around her waist,
;. and whispered something in her ear.
HcUSEHoLD EcoNoMY.-"Ma," said a little
urchin, peeping from beneath the bed cottes
al am cold, want some mole cover on the
bed" 'Lie stll my GeGr,'' said the mother,
- "until your sister comes from chur; h she lIas
:, got the comforter for 4 bualle."
t I'll find, Dick, that you are in The habit
l. Of taking my best jokes, and passing item off
+ as your own. Do you call that gentlemany
2. conduct 2
e 'To be sure do, Tom true gentleman
n will always take q joke from friend.
. A BRIGHT IDEA.--Au eminent London spec.
~ uIator, on witnessing The brilliant success of
e the electric li-ht, as recently employed IN
iv Paris for The illumination OF Tie nirht works
-, at tie Louvre, ~aS herd 10 eHcIaim with
: deep feeling: "Ry Jove all pve got 10 say
- is; if held any shares in tie moon I'd sell
{ out !"
is a-T'"Ned, who is that girl saw you walk
~ Ing with?'
/ 'NIss Hogg."
ie "Hogs, Hcgg- well, she's 10 be pitttd fol
having such a name.'
$50 think, k,"rejoined Md. al ptticd he,
u, % much that offered her mire, and size il
10 going TO take 1t preSently.'
Cr or u An amusing reading of Sci t"nce occur
" e" ii recent number of Bizarre. The "copy'
ran thus
"Geoiogy will lie illustrated with all ,b
rocks nd formations fon greea sand 10 tn,
lower SiIuHaBs.''
1t was perverted as follows: Geology vii
be illustrated with all the rocks and f rmaliou
from Greenland 10 the Lower Siberian.
nr NJ fellow at a race course was stagccr
ol ing about the track with more Liquor than /,
Te conld conveniently carry.
al 'llallo wha's the matter now p saId
n. Chap Whom 'he lnt brlated individual had ru
ey against
he "Why-hic- VI y" said Tie fellow, 5
nj druGk he was hardly al .e to ar,icula,e '',h
10 Fact is, lo, Of my friends have lern hettin
n ll0uOT M Tnrt. IN go,