Washington telegraph., 1855-09-12
AH Amateur PhrenOIOgist.

Our neighbor, Col s., tells a capital
story of certain wag in Erie, Pa, Jolly
publican. who contributes good deal to the
life of chat pleasant. but sometimes obstin-
ate borough. One morning 9 travelling
phrenologist arrived at his inn, and took
lodgings The next day, in the village pa
per appeared an advertisement, stating that
Professor B had arrived at Erie. and
would make, 'for consideration, examin-
ations of the heads of the citizens, accompa-
nying the same with accurate, reliable charts
of character. For three or four days the
calls were sparse but on the fifth day there
was rush of FIVE or six to the apartments
of the Professor. One morning a country
man entered the inn where the phrenologist
had his rooms, and said to the landlord afore-
said
is this the place where the phrenolo-
gist holds out. who can tell mans karact-
er by the bumps onto his skull ,"
Yes" answered Boniface, with reserv-
ed and dignifed manner
Wal, | want my potato trap looked into
a little. Where's the man ~
II am the man." said the landlord.
"Oh. you be, eh Wal, put in; feel O.
my lumbs, and gin us map. What's the
swindle ?"
There is no swindlc, sir; phrcnology is
science. sir-a liberal science"
"Oh, yes-'xpect SO. but what's the price
for feelin' fellor's head ?'
"Onc dollar with chart
Wal, 90 it what do | do-lie down or
stand up? Does it hurt ?'
''Not in the least, sir; take your seat in
that chair
There were four or five morning loungcrs
in the tavern. who checked laugh, as the
countryman took his seat, having first, as re-
quested, removed his coat, vest, and neck
cloth. The wag of landlord ran his hands
through the hair of the patient for a moment.
and then said to the bartender
Mr.. Flimpkins, take a sheet of paper,
draw four lines down It's whole length. and
put down my figures under the heads men
ton to YOU
1t was done
Have you got it %
es, all right
Very WELL"
And the landlord went on with his cxami
lnation, which was rougher. perhaps, than
there was any necessity for, and of which
the following is specimen:
Put down philoprogcnitiveness si1ty."
Down, sir
Very we'll reverence t1o"
Booked, SIR
"Combativeness, tICO hHndred."
What's that ?" said the victim
mo matter. sir; you'll see it on the
chart"
Caution, one
''Credulity, four huudrod"
What is that Iump?' asked the pa
tient.
"Never mind now you'll understand it
bye-and-byc. And now, Ito the bar keeper)
Mr.. Flipkins, you've put these in separate
columns, as usual ?"
Yes SIR
Very well. add 'cm up"
"Add EN- u-p-up." exclaimed the
chronological subject sis that the way you
do ?''
"Of course How else could we get
your balance of mind-of intellect ~
Wal, 20 ahead"
How does it Daboll, Mr.. Flipkius ?''
The three columns are equal-they foot
up precisely the same"
The landlord looked solemnly and sym
pathisingly towards his subject.
1T is very strange" said he, but it is
So Phrenology never lies. You have no
predominant character, sir you have no in
tellectual status you don't know anything
sir. Excuse me, sir F; but must state the
truth. whether you take a chart or not but.
sir, if there is any truth in phrenology, g0n
are mere fooL! Under the circumstan-
ccs, sir, I can scarcely expect you to desire
to keep the chart which you have contracted
for that is a matter of small conse quence,
as it will be valuable Illustration of an
unique species which l can use in my lee
turcs hereafter. | authenticate all my lee
lures with real name and residence The
charge Of deception, in science. is one which
was never brought against me. sir, and new
cr will be, sir-ncver :"
Oh never mind give US the map"
said the subject there's the swinIle, for
1t Is 4 swindle. but I'd rather pay it than
have you going round the country maxim
fool of me everywhere else as you have |
here-you blasted philoprogenitive humbug
you
With this explosion. the subject retired
hntckeyGOckeT.