Washington telegraph., 1855-03-28
The Judges Big Shirt.

N. C., was notorious for leaving home with
out the necessary precautions of carrying
along second SKIRT. While here be was
invited to attend a gay and fashionable par
ty, to be given the following evening. at the
residence of Judge B. The visiting
Jud ge was terribly perplexed about clean
shirt FOR the occasion. and while revolving
in his mind how be should possess himself
of the desired article lin those days ready
made shirts were not, as now, articles oi
merchandise. he was called on at bis
room by Mr.. O. another limb of the
law, but not Judge. After passing the
usual compliments. Judge A. remark
ed-"See here, g. | have Just been
invited to attend a party tomorrow night
and [ harn't clean shirt for the OCCASION ~
hoping. no doubt. that his friend would
prOffer the loan OF one OF his. But being
a bit of wag and relishing a good joke
amazingly, he concluded to have little fun,
and at the same time learn his judicial friend
lesson concerning his negligent custom
oh. said be, there no difficulty abou,
that. l can have one made"
but do you think it can be finished in
time ?' said Judge A..
No doubt about that l have a shirt.
maker who is perfectly prompt and reliable,
and l can vouch for its being ready
"All right, then if you'll be sure and at
tend to it,
You may depend upon it, said the
Judges friend. at shall be here by half
past six tomorrow evening"
Mr.. o. on going home that night,
called at the lady's and ordered her to 90 to
SIS store. and get nine yards of
bleached domestic and three yards of lin
en-, ard make a shirt of it for Judge A.,
and deliver it at his room, on the following
evening at half past six precisely. and charg-
ing her particularly there was to be no dis
appointment, and not deliver it sooner CT Ia
ter than halfpast six.
But, Mr. c. exDostulated the
woman, you mean three shirts, don't you,
out of nine yards ?'''
''DO as l tell you. Madam Don't YOU
suppose know what size shirt is required
by my friend ?''
Early next morning the cloth was procur-
ed and the making of the shirt entered up
on. About six o'clock in the evening, Dir.
g. all attired and ready for the party
called on the Judge, when be was saluted
on his entrance with
See here, that shirt has not been sent vet,'
"Oh!" says c., pulling out his
watch, at is not time yet, it lacks quarter
to the time, for told her to have i. here by
half past SIX
The couple chatted away awhile, and
presently a timid knock at the door was
heard. Judge A. jumped to open it
when little girl asked if that was Judge
As room?
Being answered affirnativeIy. she contin-
led. Here's shirt Dir. G. told my
mother to make for you"
"All right. my nice little Miss" and
straightway began to prepare for donning
the much coveted garment, remarking, 1T
is well made and handsomely done up, too
Smart woman that. Mr. Co.
oh, yes; l knew she would not disap-
point you in any respect
BY this time the Judge had commenced
pulling it over him. He pulled, and pulled.
as yard after yard passed, and still his head
was enveloped in the shirt He complain
ed Of its size, but his friend told him he
had got it twisted, but to hurry on as it was
time they were at the party. A gain he set
himself to the task. and BY hard struggling
got through. finding himself ensbrouded in
shirt five yards long and four yards broad,
covering all over the floor with Its ample
drapery
In Gods name." said the Judge in as
tonisEment What is this the woman has
sent me ?'' looking with CONSERVATION upon
the monstrous shirt around and beneath him,
What is it say ?''
L was with much difficult that g.
could restrain from laughter, but approach
ing his enshirted friend and pulling down
the huge collar so that he could see his face
he gazed with apparent wonder, and observed.
What silly, stupid woman. told her
TO get just enough to make three shirts: in
stead Of making three she has put the whole
nine yards into one shirt Bat we must
hurry and make the best of bad bargain,
for it is high time We were at the party this
minute You can push it down into your
trowsers and nobody will be the wiser" So
at it the judge went, his friend assisting
him, as yard after yard was piled away in
his unmentionab!es, {they didt wear tights
IN those days. and thus lie went to Judge
B--'s party. if not the finest dressed,
at least the largest shirted gentleman in the
crowd
~ promised never to blow On his
judicial friend. and kept his word, until he
learned that the Judge was compelled to tell
it on himself, for unfortunately he carried
the big shirt home and Hrs. Judge wanted
to know what tremendous big woman's shift
that was in his trunk ? He had to out with
it; and it being told by the Judge himself,
Mr. G. felt at liberty to tell it also !;
which be does sometimes to the Infinite mer-
Giment of all who hear him.