The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1855-11-03
=. & stIctt Galt.
my tA0TNER-|N-LAW.
BY PATIENCE PERKINS.

Lam. the. late Patience Price. immortal by
my history Of Brother Tom Published O.
riginaly in this magazine, translated and
cockneyizedin England and reproduced in
this country as On English nffair. mar
ried nlwidower with ten children. If you
wish to,know iehy. ask my brother Tom,
and he will tell you. So much for my an
tecedcnts; now for"lTy Mother,in-Lsw.
o*a,I filter myself that have common sense;
even my brother Tom admits that, as gen.
eral rule, though he cites exceptional cir
'cdmstances. | do not know enough to re-
E tire into the house when it rains. or 10 take
an omnibus, or spread an UMBRELLA | have
seen children before to-day; il never any
of'Imy own, actual own, all those OF my
,sster's, (not few and my husbands ten
bY former connections; and do think that
my, husbands mother mis ht give me credit
for some capacity. If marrying a man
with ten children, is any proof Of imbeciii-
Iva as some people pretend, mother-in.lsw
shot lt,9.at any rate, b.. the last TO reproach
Wewithit,3 i-,:g r "a :.
Il do not know how good meddler among
fruits may be, but Edo know that med
der in one's household affairs is intolerable.
I do not know precisely what the first Mrs.
Perkins died Of, but if ever coroner's ju.
ny ssits+upon me, or if the doctor nlakes a
true return to the superintendent of the
health Office, I know. the verdict in the one
case, or the report in the other, will be-.an
overdose Of mother.in-law.' Mr. Perkins,
my dear lord and master. is well enough,
perhaps ] should say very we'll. don't
think he killed his first wife, but do hope
! shall never be required to declare, upon
oath, what are my firm convictions upon the
subject. 1t might make a disturbance in
the family.
zitIfthe woman was born for plague. she
is fulfilling her mission. Such peaked
face!, Such lopg neck! Such lcngthen.
cdsourness5 long drawn out! II she were
anybody but my huaband's mother, | could
appeal to him for protection; but ! cannot
ask the nun to rise in rebellion against his
own flesh aud blood, the author Of his be-
Ting. Lwish she could be contentwith the
original protection, md not imagine that he
needs her continual supervision. as an au-
thor ,supefyises new editions, and makes al
lxsthtiohs inieyery one!
Myiwelcome to the house was a damper.
Perkins, before his marriage, never let me
see, his mother Widowers are prompt and
aartful., Let them but breathe on maiden
with intent to capture, the proyerb says,
landl the end is sure. Tho, fascination,of a
serpent, exerted upon bird, is not more
certain. | am half-inclined to accuse my
husband Of f4duplicity--of obtaining wife
under false pFetences; the second offense
, TOO the monster! Anan's children we ex'
pect to be plagued with; and perhaps the
escape from early nursing. Godfrey's cor
dial, Dalby's carminative, teething, and al
that sort Of thing is quite an equivolen
for any IyriDconyenence which may grow ou
sgofaBeihe a mother at second hand, with !
Z family yscdpital al ready TO commences mar
sieaslifa upon. But why did not the crea
'tfpFe tel me that he was TO be taken wit
althis ether and extra oincumberance? WI IN
ID not the marriage service altered to NEE
lakuch cases, thus. 4 Patience, take thee
rN;rnokt.,. Ca,,st +t,,, hail Ia nv Wpddp