Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1855-12-06
Exrract. from Pinch.

NUSCovITE WIT.
The Russian papers are fillec with the most
ridiculous stories against the English As
some of these are weak and clumsy, and not
so violently absurd as they might be, we make
the Muscovite journals a present of the fell
lowing eXtravagant ictioHs, which, of course,
they will solemnly present to their readers as
positive facts -
BgTegi0as Erirarag1ues IN England.
inhabitants of London not only wear hats t.
protect their heads. but umbrellas also to pro-
tect their hats. The wonder is, they do not
wear something over the umbrella TO protect
the nubrella also However, the cro@ning
folly Is, that the umbrella. which gets all the
rain, frequently costs twice The value of the
hat that 1t protects from it
TIE Depth of aa Engliskman's FoHy.-A
Cossack had fallen into one of the wells that
abound in the neigh borhood of Sadlers Wells
ooh, help me help mel he cried piteous-
ly. 81 will give two roubles to any one who
helps me out OF this dilemma ''But how is
1t to be done:' inquired fat idiot OF an
Englishman from the top. ''Why, put your
self IN the bucket that is up there. and when
you are down here we will talk about ii. -
The Englishman did as he was bid. and his
suberior weight in descending. had the effect
Of pulling up the Cossack, who was in the
opposite bucket. 'Tliank you, my good friend
thousand times" he exclaimed, when he
had safely reached the surface; ''wait there,
please, until l come back, and pay you the
two roubles,' and he went away grinning
hugely in his sleeve.
Hoe an EnglisbmaR tcaS done By a CoSSaek
An Englishman and Cossack agreed to
pull for tallow- candle. 1t was to be held
between their teeth, and they were to pull and
pull until one side was the conqueror. The
candle was firmly fixed, when the Cossack
said, care you ready:" The stupid English
mon exclaimed "Ye-e.e- es but no sooner
was his mouth opened. than the crafty Cos
sack pulled away the candle, so that he had
the whole of the luscious morsel to himself.
The Summit of British Folty.-Will it be
believed that the English place long spikes of
iron, longer than any Cossack lance, on their
steeples, and the tops OF their public edihces
and the object of this absurd precaution, il is
said, is to prevent any one falling upon the
building and damaging them
British a5suFdity.-The English nobleman
put furs and beaFskins ronud the hammer
cloths of their carriages. Now, as the coach
man sis outside and not inside the hammer
cloth, this cannot be to protect him from the
cold-and we should like to know what can
be the benefit of keeping the hammercloth
warm: They might.as well put mufs on the
coach springs, or wrap boes round the spokes
of the wheels. But it is just Ike those stupid
English!
Incredible Ignorance IN the British May
One of the Lords of the Admiralty land they
are men generally selected for their superior
wisdom), finding that his weathercock annoy
ed terribly with its creaking noise during the
night, CAV directions that it should be nailed
fast so that it could not move, but that man
should come every monday and set itright
Tor the ensuing week
The Royal intellect ofthe United Kjagaom.-
We have all heard of the Prince of Wales,
who cried, ready to break his heart, because
on breaking open his dunn he could not find
the noise he expected to find inside; but this
is as nothing compared to the Prince of Pad
dington (the Queen second son. who bought
maybe purposely to test the experiment,
whether such birds were in the habit of living
seven hundred years Such is the state of
education of the barbarian country that dares
to go to war with civilized Russia