Indiana American., 1855-02-23
A Chapter from the Autobiography
Of an Old Bachelor.

OF an Old bachclor.
AS we hope 10 entertain our read
ers with frequent prose and poetic
contributions from Devereux. we give
the following chapter Ct his history.
written by himself. No doubt he win
give us further account Of his adven-
lures, particularly II he ever gets
married. He is writing 10 his nephew:
DEAR NEyY: My heart Is sad
My face is long--cerulean Beelzebubs
hover about me. Il am used mp
man. as the poet hath Il. and ask
for sympathy. AS you were always a
sympathetic child, ! come to you
Believe me. De Witt, your uncle Is
proud of you. You are the hope Of
his declining years, and you must
excuse him ii he gives you a little ad-
yice-he has nothing else to give.-
His pockets are empty, even Of tobac-
co-his once beautiful farm is swal-
lowed up in a railroad company--his
stock is all in the airline. Wife, he
never had, and there is no one TO con-
sole him in his losses. Now his locks
arc frosted by the touch Of many win
ters, and do you wonder that am
sad?
But for the advice: Don't Be pag.
Dear Nevy, / owe many Of my mis-
fortunes In life, TO a disregard OF this
very injunction. fancied being laugh-
cd at. | was laughed nj. / was no
wit, TO be sure. for wags are seldom
wits; ! was merely funny, and conse-
quently every thing | said provoked a
smile.
Alas for your unclel l fell in love
upon a time-yes. I fell in love--and
my adored Kathleen was beautiful.--
Her soul-lit eyes are looking on me
now. burning. yet TENDER In my
enthusiasm l likened her 10 a swan,
n dove, deer, n pigeon, duck, on
angel-and she smiled upon me-
Sweet Kathleenl the memory Of that
smile fingers like stray sunbeam in
my cold and unoccupied heartl was
ever at her side; and people said IL
would be n match. / was something
Of poet. Nevy-that dream Is over
now. | wrote soonets 10 her eye
brows, and described her smile as
similar 10 the Northern Lights, and
the blush that sufIused her cheek as
something like n summer sunset. She
was ilattered, and pleased, and smiled
and blushed again. Gould ! hopc2--
Yes, did hope. In my dreams ! saw
my pretty Kathleen sitting by a cot
tage door. with the old Aurora-like
smile upon her face. and a rival sun
set glowing there. Northern Lights
and summer sunset--unhappy similel
The one grew cold and misty, and the
other faded into darknessl l was in
love.
One beautiful moonlight night /
asked Kathleen
TO meet me alone,
In the grove at tho end Of the vale.'
She complied. How beautiful she
lookedl Women always look beauti-
ful by moonlight and starlight. There
is mellow radiance about their faces
at such times which Peri might en-
Wy. l tried TO look serious. i told
Kathleen the story Of my love, and
appealed to the moon and stars
And vowed that would love her
While tho birds sang on the troci
While tho brook sought the river,
And the river sought The seal
She only laughed and replied,
"Dear Mr.. Mullenix, you are 50
funnyp
And so this serious declaration was
turned into jokei Kathleen was lost
to me. and yeer afterwards married
slolid-headed parsonage who never
had a funny thought in all his life
Ali Nevy,
'Il's such very serious thing
To be funny mani
Don't be- funny, or you will be mis-
cradle. Cupid never points his darts
with joke. Wags may be laughed
at, but not loved.
have been il love since half doz-
en- times; but every look Of love was
answered by laugh. till. in sheer
hopelessness. 7 laughed; and ! am
considered a joke in spite Of myself
Nevertheless, l am sadder and
wiser man; but my lengthy face is yo-
ted joke by my friends, IL friends
they be.
Secondly: DOatfake any stock IN
airline raiiroads-doni speculafe.-
Remember the fate Of your uncle,
whose riches have taken unto them
selves the wings Of the morning. l
am q Mullenix, and grieve to state
that l am plunged in the most abject
poverty. My boots, like my creditors,
are soieless-my brceches are 5resehes
of trust-my coat is unseamly-once
Il could tail unfold not now. Ny
vest-hic jacket-has not a Vesfige Of
its former beauty. My hat Is like
dark night, "a napless black spot
round my head Ny cravat is knot:
! am a warning; l am a wreck-but
the world reeks not.
Notwithstanding my reverses, dear
Neyy, l feel that have abilities Of
high order. / ought to be in the SEN
a.e. I'm not there-that's plain
AM therefore I'm unappreciated; but
l am consoled by reading Gray's ele-
ey;
There's man, flower born 70 blush uusesnl'
lam still a wag-I may add, sad
wag-and II, in some moment Of sad
ness. should shuttle of this mortal
coil, the world would call il 'Mullenix's
lastl Mine Is q life fit only 10 point a
moral or adorn tale
have the honor Of being
Xo,r disfinouiehed