The American patriot., 1855-10-20
THE ILLS OF LIFE.

Whence is't, Mmcenas that so few approve
The state they're PLACID in, aud incline to rove,
Whether against their will by fate imposd,
Or by consent and prudent choice espousd?
Happy the merchant! the old soldier cries,
Broke with tatigues and warlike enterprise.
The merchant, when the dreaded hurricane
Tosses his wealthy cargo on the main,
Applauds the wars and tolls of campaign;
There an engagement soon decides your doom,
Bravely to die, or come victorious home.
The lawyer VOWS the farmers life is best,
When at the dawn. the clients break his rest
The farmer, having put in bail appear,
And tOrcd to town, cries, they happiest there;
With thousands more of this inconstant race,
Would tire cen Fabius to relate each case.
Not to detan you longer, pray attend
The issue of all this-shoud Jove descend,
And grant to every man his rash demand,
To run his lengths with neglectful hand;
First, grant the harassd warrior release,
Bid him 60 trade and try the faithless seas,
To purchase treasure and declining ease:
Next call the pleader from his learned strife,
10 the calm blessings of country life
And, with these separate demands, dismiss
Each suppliant to enjoy the promised bliss
Don't you believe they'd run? Not one will move,
Tho proffer'd to be happy from above.
HonNEcK.
1t is a celebrated thought Of Socrates that if
all the mistortuncs of mankind were cast into
public stock, in order to be equally dstribu-
ted among the whole species, those who now
think themselves the most unhappy, would
prefer the share they are already possessed Of
before that which would fall to them by such
division. Horace has carried this thought
great deal further in the motto of my paper,
which implies that the hardships or misfor-
tunes we lie under, are more easy to us, than
those of any other person would be, in case we
could change conditions with him.
As I was Illuminating on these two remarks,
and seated in my elbow chair, I insensibly fell
asleep; when, on sudden, methought there
was a proclamation made by Jupiter, that every
mortal should bring in his griefs and cala,ni-
ties, and throw them together ina heap There
was large plain appointed for this purpose.
| took my stand in the centre of it, and saw
with a great deal of pleasure, the whole hu-
man species marching one after another, and
throwing down their several loads, which i'm
mediately grew up into prodigous mountain
that seemed to rise above the clouds.
There was certain lady, of thin airy
shape, who was very active in this solemnity
She carried magnifying glass in one of her
hands, and was clothed in loose flowing robe,
embroidered with several figures of fiends and
spectres, that discovered themselves in thou
sand chimerical shapes, as her garment lowered
in the wind. There was something wild and
distracted in her looks. Her name was fancy.
She led up every mortal to the appointed place.
after having very ofiiciously assisted him in
making up his pack, and laying it upon his
shoulders. My heart melted within me to see
my fellow-creatures groaning under their re-
spective burthens, and to consider that prodi-
gious bulk Of human calamities which lay be-
fore me.
There were, however, several persons who
gave me great diversion upon this occasion. |
observed one bringing in fardel, very careful
ly concealed under an old embroidered cloak,
which, upon his throwing it into the heap,
discovered to be Poverty. Another, after a
great deal of putting, threw down his luggage;
which upon examining, found to be his wife.
There were multitudes of lovers saddlcd with
very whimsical burthens, composed of darts
and flames; but what was very odd, though
they sighed as if their hearts would break
under these bundles of caamities, they could
not persuade themselves to cast them into the
heap, when they came up to it; but, after a
few faint efforts, shook their heads and marched
away, as heavy laden as they came. ! saw
multitudes of old women throw down their
wrinkles; and several young ones who stripped
themselves of tawny skin. There were very
great heaps of red noses, large lips, and rusty
teeth. The truth of it is, l was surprised to
see the greatest part of the mountain made up
of bodily deformites. Observing one advan-
cling towards the heap with larger cargo than
ordinary upon his back, found upon his near
approach, that it was only natural hump
which he disposed of, with great joy of heart
among this collection of human miseries
There were likewise, dstempers OF all sorts,
though | could not but observe, that there
we're many more imaginary than real. One
little packet l could not but take notice of,
which was a complication of all the diseases
incident to human nature, and was in the hand
of great many fine people: this was called
the spleen. But what most of all surprised
me, was a remark made, that there was not
a single vice or folly thrown into the whole
heap; at which was very much astonished,
having concluded within myself, that every one
would take this opportunity of getting rid of
his passions, prejudices, and frailties.
took notice in particular, of very profit
gate fellow, who, did not question, came