Weekly hawk-eye and telegraph. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1855-1857, 1855-08-22
BacK-HArrm BrAxnrY.

s Al ItsbmaD. one barney bS17tS N01
brought up for acombination Of the nation-
al Hibernian characteristics getting drunk
and fighting which he carried to the tad
rnired exsreme.'' Having drunk his skin full
Of whisky, he became amiabIy pUgnacious
and wanted to whi- anybody ar anything that
wouid step our 'sins, fsr the fun Of ihs frn-
cas-" lie had pieksd loving quarrel with
The keeper of a portrrhousc, had kindly
knocked down two apple women and news
boy, in coinmendable spirit of pleasant
ness had kicked in basement window liz the
hope of inducing the owner to come on. and
have "scrimmage," and at the time OF his
arrest Was throwing bricks against the door
Of Engine No. 81, hoping that some Of its
hileslan members would sympathize with a
gentleman in his pursuit Of aqurrrcl under
difficulties, ind would come out and take
friendly knock-down just out of pure nation
al love and good-fe.lowship. Policeman -
0ei soon settled him with a few blows Of his
club and Barney was brought into Court
with his head cut open in several places aad
his nose Knocked sideways as if it had been
run over by meat-cart. He was we'll ac-
quainted with the Judge, having been indebt-
ed already to his Honor for gratuitous trip
up the river, and, although he probably an
tcpated pretty correctly the result Of his
examination. he could not resist attempting
to ''blarney'' the Justice, probably from
sheer force Of habit; however, to the tail of
tagged on in an undertone aqualify.ng phrase
or direct reversion Of that part of his con-
versation intended for the ear of the Judge,
so that while the spoken Iart of every an
swcr contained one meaning, it would be
materially quail fed by the addition of the
whispered after-part.
again?
Prisoner-Yes, your Honor; this gentleman
wild the star on brought me here to see your
Honor's noble countenance once more; and
nivcr saw pair of worse lookin' thieves in
all my life.
Judge-Have you been drunk againp
Prisoner-Slightly elevated, your Honor;
not half so drunk ms the man that wears
your boots gets livery day of his dirty life.
Judge-Don't you think you'd better let
the whisky alone, Barney?
Prisoner-Perhaps had, Sir. You ould-
drunk and rowl on the floor among the span
iel pups every dinner We ate.
Judge-The law says must fine you ten
dollars.
Prisoner-Yer noble self that knows so
know, to be hard on an unletthercd diyil
like Barney Brady; an that same Barney
Brady knows the law, an more of it than
sconce of yours wild piledriver; ye can't
tell Blackstone from broomstick, and don't
know your little finger from speakin' trum-
Mt oo,oo;tod old
Judge And you was disordcrly, too, and
wanted to fight and that is an additional
offense.
prisoncr-Plasc yer Highncss, it was only
Dutchmen and darkics, am the like of thin
b!ackguards, was dsputin' wild; niver gos
so drunk yit that | couldn't tell ralc gin
tleman like yerself- an wouldn't like to
bate the eyes out of yer black-muzzled head!
if ] only put my fist wanst gintly between
yer pig colored eyes, or let my bit Of stick
drop aisy on tie top of your empty auld pate,
ye'd think ye was struck wild chain litenin',
or that ye'd been suddenly transformed in
to galvanized steam ingine an was goln'
rav:n' distracted mad wild q worse fit Of de-
...um triangles than liver ye had yit.
Judge--Can you pay your fine?
Prisoncr--Tin dollars is it? Pve not list
the exact change at this mint wild me, yer
Honor, but if yell wait FIVE days I'll pay ye
as sure as the divil's a nigger--if l liver pay
wan single clint to that accomplished black
guard, Misther Justice Brinnan, may be
caught in muss widout a shllelah an no
stones handy, may be walked widout whis-
ky or snuff, am may that same divl fly away
wild what's left of me am toast me on a
pitchfork for his Sunday mornin' lunch.
Judge-Can't trust you, Barney--have to
lock you up.
Prisoner supposeit's the best yc can do
for me, an Pm thankful to yer Honor; whin
git out call am see me, if ye plaze-but if
liver see yer ugly mug inside my door, first
I'll lock up my two spoons am hide the whis-
ky, am thin I'll give my personal an imme-
date attintion to batin' ye so black an so
blue that yer own mithcr couldn't swear
whether yere her nephew or her niece.