Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-03-10
COnuudrunlS. < c.


it goes from mouth to mouth.
Why is a lour-quart jug Ike lady's
side-saddle Because It holds gal Oh,
{ galion :!
When Is lady's neck not meek !
When It's lille bare, (jear.)
When is baby like cannibal! Wien
il eats lis "pap."
When is { man not msu When
he's a-shayin-, or VIXEN he's Z salt-seiler.
Why is a restless man in bed, like .
lawyer Because lie lies on all sides a!
When is bedstead not bedsiead {!
When it becomes lIttle buggy.
Why is a mouse like load Of hay {?
Because the cal'lI eatIIup.
Why is the letter d like sailor Be.
cause they both follow The c, (Sea.)
Why is a man in prison like leaky
boat Because he wants balling ont.
What is smaller than a musqneto's
mouth Why that what he puts into II
Why is a sick Jew like diamond T!
Because is Jew-iII.
When is music like vegetables ! When
there is two beats to the measure.
, Why is dead duck ike dead doctor?
Because they have both stopped Qnack-
ing.
Why is a gunsmitI's shop like a chick
en- pot-pic Because they both contain
Tow! in pieces.
| Why is a ship that's loading, like a
locomotive Because they Jo,h make
the cargo.
/ Why are lawyers the most incorporate
people ! Because they are continually
practising at the bar.
Why is a poor horse greater than Ma
poIcon Because IN him there are mdlJ
bony parts.
Why is ragged coat like an iron pot
Becaus; it is specimen o. hardware
(hard ,cear)
Why was the elephant the last anima
going in to Noah's ark ! Because b,
waited for his trunk.
Why is big stone lying in the roal
Hike a dead dogs tail Because they
both stop wagon.
Why are the Shepherdstown boys like
gold dig2ers in California ! Because
they are minors, (miners.)
Why is a benevolent man like cart
horse Because he always stops at the
sound of woe, ('Uo "O
Why is a vain young lady, like con-
irmeI dunkard Because neither OF
thom IS satisfied with a moderate use OF
| the glass.
What is it that goes when a wagon
goes, stops when a wagon stops ii amt
no use to the wagon, and yet the wagon
can't 20 without it? Why, it is the
noise, to be sure.
SHE HAD HIM.-Ata fair recently held
at Roxbury, youth inquired Of lady IN
attendance, "If they had any djaPerS p
A reply was given to the following effect :
'If you will come inside the table | viii
fit one to you" The youth left
Suppose a scolding wife should get
drowned, what single letter in the alpha
bet would express The husbands feeling
Letter B, (iet her be J
If swearing don't overcome friction,
how comes it that men always make use
of ii to start bauky horse with ! WHO
will answer.
A desperate fellow got into a row yes
terday he first cut an acquaintance, ifen
cut swell. and when they attempted 10
arrest him he "cul and run"
Take pinch of snuff, PomPey =
"No, massa, tank you nose no! hungry
dis time.
A MUSICAL Box-A tea chest with eight
eight hungry pigs IN 1t.
Damaged Meai--A beeEsteak that four
apprentice boys have been at.
A wag observes that be looks under the
marriage head fer the news Of he lrfek.
A woman's heart is like fiddle It re-
quires bow to play upon II.
Careless Parents-Ibose who permit
their little responsibilities TO ran TIE
streets AFTER night, TO their own injury,
and to the annoyance OF their neighnorS.
Won't reform--The man iha: negIects
q kind wlle and mother TOR the saAe ol
Rum
A long face is P'augy apt to cover
long conscience. That's so.
Sunday dram-seling in New York city
is nearly suppressed.
Anbiuous-The lady that claims 10 be
he 'toP of Ide heap
Punch says lhs best tear Of symgs'y
Is vOiuH.ecT.