Kansas weekly herald., 1855-02-09

OUlCdlS III tnlS country unueE lIle eultOfldl
charge of ladies, and since the explosive
nature of cotton has been demonstra-
ted, it may be truly said that every la
dy controls magazine. /
Az ANCIENT PIGMENr.-AIcohoI was
first invented and used to stain the cheeks
Of the ladies of Arabia, nine hundred and
fifty years ago. Nowadays, it performs
the same Office for gen,lemen's noses.
A young lady whose name was Patty,
being addressed by Mr.. Cake, accepted
him on condition that he should change
his name, declaring that she would never
consent to be called "Patty-Cake.
sis that clean butter 2" asked a grocer of
a boy who had brought quantity to mar
ket. 81 should think it ought to be-" re-
piled the boy, ''for marm and Sail were
more than two hours picking the hairs and
notes out of it,
"Jim, did you ever double the Cape of
Good Hope g"
81 expect l have"
"When?"
Last night, when I put my arm around
the cape that belongs to the dress OF a
young lady that have good hopes Of ma
king Mrs. Dusenberry.
"Pap, has Mr.. Jones eyes got feet?"
''Why, my boy 2"
because | heard mother say to Mrs.
Doolittle that at a party the other night,
Mr.. Jones' eyes followed her all over the
roorr.."
One young lady in Albany, N. Y, re-
ceived 4SO calls on New Years Day, not
counting four military companies, one fire
company, host Of poor relatives, and call
TO bed by her mamma at IL o'clock at night.
Muegins observed on the door of house
the name of two physicians, and remarked
that it put him in mind Of doable-barrelled
gun, for ifone missed, the other was sure
10 kill.
1.-The man that has not music in his
soLe"-The individual who don't wear
creaking boots.
A contract has been entered into for the
building of new hotel at St. Paul, Min
nesota, to cost from 5 $4,000 to 500, 900.
Martin Kosta whose protection from
Austrian power by Capt. Ingraham, at SIM
yrna, caused such futtering among diplo-
znatists last winter, has just been married
q! Chicago.
The amomt Of United States stock out
standing, according to the official statement
of the Register, was S41 ,S7S, ,S3l ,O5.
The shipwrecks of the last eighteen
months count up the loss of near eight thous-
and lives.
Sally Jones says when she was in love
she felt as if she was in tunnel, with a
train of cars coming in both ways.
The young lady who was buried in grief,
IS now alive and doing we'll 1t was case
Of premature interment.
A fellow in the jail wishes he had the
small pox SO he could''break out" He had
tried every thing else.
The difference between carriage horse
and carriage wheel is this-one goes best
when tired, and the other don't.
Q Which side of horse invariably has the
most hair omit The outside.
The St. Louis Republican says that a
few days ago, man and his wife, in that
city, were engaged in arranging sepera-
ton. The principal difficulty was the baby,
which the woman tearfully begged to be al
lowed to keep, while the man angrily re.
fused. At length, the wife almost threw
the child into the husbands arms, and ex.
claimed, Take it, can soon have anoth.
er"
ga Yankee" describing an opponent
says "I teh you what sir, that man dom
amount to sum In arithmetic; add him ur
and there is nothing to carry"
A rather singular marriage contrac
wasa few days since entered into in Ten.
nessee. The wife is worth cool fifty
thousand. Tie husband is the rightful ow
ner of magnificent goatee.-The con
tract was as follows: Art. list. The hus
band sto have no interest in the wifes es
tate.-Art. End. Hi is not to collect an
debts of the concern. Art. 3rd. The be
loved husband is not TO chastise or contro
any of her servants without the consent o
the wife. Art. 9TH. The husband binds him
self to pay the wife one hundred and fi(t,
dollars per-annuln for board. Lodging free
Our devil fproposes the following: Actu
ated by their beef-loving nature, what Gov
would the English prefer to have at present
Mes-eov, ofeourse: