The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1855-05-07
The KILKENNY CATS.

THE kILhENN1 CA1c.
.a..-4Ae Ktlkenny eats have become famous
In story. They now rank among the immor'
tals. These famous cats deveured each other
81 bue the tails. Such An exploit is BY some
rssarded ~ altogether fabulous and incredi-
IA We we're for long time ourselves DIS
posed to question its exact correctness We
thought there must be some mistake about It. !
Bat the fsats performed during the present
uol;fical canvass, satisfy us Of the truth OF It,
and put the Kilkenny cats to shame. There
,has not been an encounter Of political gri-
mslkins during this gubernatorial contest in
which each has not swallowed the other
After careful examination of the records,
consisting ofthe journals of both parties, we
ere unable 10 find one solitary case in which
the Kilkenny marvel has not been repeated.
Il q needless to recite al the cases, to pile
upprpof on proof. and swamp our sheet with
an avalanche of testimony. The reader caa
consult the political papers and judge for
himself Mr.. A., for example, meets Mr.. B.,
In discussion; regular political and theo.
logical melee ensues; four or five hours are
cansumed in the wordy war, and the result b
given In the organs Of their respective par
ties. According to one account, Mr.. A. is
the most polished orator of modern times;
Bis Wit a. keen a. the sabre of Saladin, his
logic crushing a. the battle axe of Richard.
Tho whole subject of controversy is at his
fingers end The way he handled poor b.
~ awful. He came down upon him in one
eontinnous blaze Of oratorical electricity, pi-
! ling red-hot thunderbolts upon his devoted
head, tll not 8 grease spot of the wretched
man wasleft. Most Of BIS friends gave every
signof dismay and modification, whilst others
boldly avowed their determination to support
the cause SO triumphantiy vindicated by the
unequalled A. .aa
Now let US hear the b. journal THE late
discussion between Messrs. 4. and B. viii
long be remembered. B., who combines IN
himself the vehement eloquence of Demos
themes, the Wit of Sheridan and the satire OF
Junius, was never in happier vein than on
the late memorable occasion. He had not
spoken five minutes before his amazing supe-
riority to his verbose and windy opponent
became apparent to every man present. Ne
yer in our life have we seen such thorough
demolishipg, such complete and total ami
hilstion Of human being as the unlucky A.
suffered ut his ham" The slaughter Of the
Turks at Sinope, tn massacre of the inno-
cents at Bethlehem, was nothing to it. He
seized the ridiculous positions and shallow
arguments of his adversary, andsnapped them
Is great doublejointed giant would crack
the bones of new born babe, or as an ana
conda would crush lamb. Poor A. blush
ed like a woman, hung his head and ap'
peared a. if he was looking for hole in the
floor to escape through. In spite of his dam
nable political heresies. we could not help
plying the miserable creature, but the I'M
spsring B. showed him no mercy. He skinned
him alive, and then swallowed him whole.
When the contest ended, nothing was Wis.
ible Of the wretched victim but the end of
his big toe sticking out of the mouth of bis
dsvourer. The triumph was complete, BIS
friends set up shout of victory that made
thewslkin ring, whilst the cowed and defect
ed followers of the late lamented A. skunk
out OF the house to hide their shame in the
darkness. -1 ssi.s --sss- .
Such Is the denonement of every politi..
cal discussion of modern times. As it is i'm
possible to discrsdit the statements of either
party, we are forced to the conclusion that
both accounts are true. 1t is confirmation,
In all its length and breadth, of the mirscu-
lous CON bat of the Kilkenny cats -oia9
H-sa f g.r b