Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1855-11-01
f5en, 45ugte + Stissurs.

GJMake slow answer to has'y question.
GFWhat is next to hen steaIing2 Cockrob-
in.
ITO lsaVe your soE fortune educats
him.
IA man Of no account-a ready-money
man.
u One who always speaks coliecttdly-A
ax-gatherer.
GTlftWo hogsheals make pipe, how many
would make cigaTl
gFHappiness can he made quite as well Of
cheap materials rs Of dear ones.
~ Difficulties dissolve before cheerful
spirit like snow dIifs before the sun.
GJNo man can avoid his own company-so
he had better make it as good as possible.
l5'"Rise George" said former TO his hired
man, "he >uns-up." Time he was; he was
not up at all yesterday"
rTIfyou want 10 know the way 10 the per~
i'entary, follow the man who believes that
he "world owes him living"
u Some wise person advises: When you
buy or sell let or hire, make a clear bargain,
nnd never trust 10 1--WE shant disagree about
H."
ADvER TIsEMEg.s FOR GmO2Ts.-An Indiana
paper refuses to publish notices OF marriages
ana dc9ths, unless they are delivered in per-
SoR.
GJA lovcsick swain in describing kiss says
1t is drnught that passes through the system
like bucket OF aer through a basket OF
eggs.
How TO CcT AN AcorArNrAHcr.--lf he is
poor, lend him some money; If he is rich, ask
him 10 end you some. Both mea MS are cer-
ialn.
FATSL.-A love sick young gentle nan, who
! has taken very much Of late TO writing SON
| nets, has Just hung himself with one Of his
own lines.
T5'An Irishman having been told that the
price OF bread had fallen, eNcameG "This
is the first time iycl rejoiced at the fall OF my
best iEicnd.'
NJ A Young laly down cast advertises for
The young man thai embraced an opportunity,
and says that if he will come over TO their
town, lie can do better
GJ'A kinder hnggish couunhrum, lately ou, =,
runs thus: "Why is MIS-. Draggletail lii e
hogH" Give hat up. "Kase she cleans The
! S'ItctS Wih htT inis HItSS - iNS ptTpttr1-
tor deserves btooms;ick.
GT"rake wife, Tom said Richard Brin-
slev Sheri|nn 10 his wild son Tom, the father
Of Mrs. N0rnn "'rnFe wife and REFORM"
"With all my heart" replied Tom. innocent
y, "whose vile shall take?"
GT"Do we eat ourselves or do YOU eat us?P
We once heard o shrrwd Yankee inquire Of
steamboat captain, with whom he was bat-
gaining about the fare. you ee. yourselves
responded the captain, gruily.
D~Mnn, says the onotomist, changes entire
Ir every seven yent>; "theTeIore," says Jones,
''my tailor should not ask ne for the bill
con,r c,ed in ls4s. Ian nat the same per.
son, hence owe him nothing"
G-Sambo, YOU larn'd in the law, can you
say, if the devil was 70 lose bis tail, where
would he 80 10 find anoder one7' Why 20 de
grocery Oh course You black nigga, ,-lat'S dc
only place knows on where dey retail bad
spirits.
T~"Ps: you have dated your letter week
ahca 1T is not so late in The month by
week" "OCh! boy, and nda De it's me thu.
is wanting sweet Kathleen toget i, in advance
Of the mail; sure III not care if she gets i
three days before il Is written"
An INDEPENDENT EDlToR.-A country EIitos
very quainlIy remarks,
We do not belong to cur patrons,
Our paper is wholly our own,
Whoever maylke it may take it.
Who don't-cln just let il alone,
~ Hullon, driver, your wheel is running
round" sang out an erchin 10 i cart driver,
who was driving rurouSlv through the street,
H. 9TH, i ,l ,l,.,}
iorSly, first one side and then the other
"You needn't look nov it's Sjopped~ coolly
added the provoking little rascal.
CyS"Dear me-" said Mrs. Paf:ington, eleys.
ting her eyes from war item in The newSpa-
per; "what q time they are fighting that nasty
war; why don't they shoot bottles Of gloryfom
instead of those iooIisb aeaShels, and put al
end to it melciiu2" The Old lady was pro-
ceeding, but the shock of pistol fred by Ike
reduced her to thoughtful silence.
n Some wag, not having the fear OF those
"rjght On tie goose" before his eyes, perpe-
t!aled the following:
EPITAPH OF SAM:
''Be'Ow lies sam, as great shame,
As ever gulIcd o nation
He lived end lied, blasphemcd and died,
Aud now his lOt's--DhMNATIOH.
| CHEAP.-A country carpen'erh lew Gays ago,
carried bill for work 10 one Of cur welt
known farmers in MildleSex county. Among
oihe: charges appeared the following item;
and, cons siderng the job, his charge, we think,
was certainly .noIeTate: -t''To hanging two
barn yard gates and myself, seven hours, one
dollar and twenty-five cents" The farmer
paid /. bill.
GTBornum is about issuing n new edition oi
iuvenile lyrics dedicated to descendants oil
Noher Goose. We beg leave 10 offer contri.
button:
She had little baby,
And twas very sweet:
She took it to the baby show,
The other babes to beat,
Lule was wonder.
P Lule got prize:
Wasn't she a darling
In her mothers eyeSl
lTHow beautifully has il been asked BY alt
eminent writer: "IS there 10 he ronnd rift OF
heaven more precious, more worthy our most
ardent gratitude, than that OF possessing fam
ilv, home, where virtues, Kindness, and en-
ioyments are every day guests, where the
' heart and the eve sun themselves in world OF
love, where thoughts are lively and enl'eIIten-
I'd, where friends moi only by word but by &C