New-York daily tribune., 1855-08-21
ESSEX MARKET.

comfort. He had no time 10 read the papers. or 70
leisurely expedite by atmospheric inhalation tie lazy
combustion Of bis morning cigar. The journals re-
maiDed unread the cigar unit and the judicial heels
restr6ined ron their usual comfortable elevation
on tho mantlepiece. The victims to chronic alcO-
hoc thirst were many and fcy who the night before
in Byronic ecstasy had sung odes to Youth aud
Beauty, afer spending few hours in the cells were
cor frontod in the morning with Justice Nood, who u
neither Adonis nor baby and, Therefore, unqnai-
fed for a situation 81 Barnums either at the Baby
Show or tic coming Exhibition Of Beauty.
WHERE THY GOT IT.
Henry Kane got bis liquor corner Of Jackson and
Monroe c-s,s-Pe,cr Riley procured his stimulus at
Crows in Anthony 81 james Connolly purchased the
ardt Of tie Vulcan House corner Av ID and Ninth-st
Matthias VerneuN realized his fluid comforts in Bloom
inedale-Chares Geenan attended to his internal inn
provements at Ps'rck Boyands, corner OF Broone
ard Cannon sts.-And an accommodating friend gave
Miss Mary Green Of No. 20 Hester-st. some brandy
and beer upon which she got drunk as 10 90 to BED
on the Sidewalk without any night-dress o.
These Isiderate worihies were fined ten dolaro
each but al necessitatod 20 work ont the FAX at
a dollar day.
Owen Lahey and Ann lahey were complained OF by
their neiehbors for being percetusy drunk and con.
tinualy 6isordory. The culpnts appeared IN court
each with black eye and q baby, toe products OF
their mutual amiabiity and ingenuity the sweei-tem-
pc ed couple, with their homemade babies, we're all
locked up in default Of bail for good behavior.
FAMILY yARs-SItOND EDITION.
Patrick RYAN and his wife Cathanne had geutle
difference of opinion resulting in impartial disibu-
ton between the two of bruises cuts scratches and
other loving euaTar ties OF undimiuished mutual alice
ton: Caiharines black oyes were compensated By
Psirck's missing tooth; and though Pats face was
scratched the wOrse. Kate had lost the most hair.
The Justice struck fair balance, served them both
slke and required each 10 give $500 bail for good be
bayor.
AssAULTING AN OFFICER.
Edward Gibbn and Charles Greonan made VIC
lent assault upon Officer McMllen, much to the injury
OF that eentlemans wardrobe, and detriment to hls
personal beauty They wee each fned $40 for drunk
eLness and Gibbin was ordered 20 find $500 bail to
answer 90 the assault and battery.
MIIsIAN MANNERS.
Michael Goehan, c)urteous aud gallsnt liibernlan
gentleman in the true spirit of modern lrisa knight
erraniry struck Ann SmitL 10 the face with hls fist
Two hundred dollars bail TO ansger.
ONr-SIDED FIGHT.
Poyton Herbert also pitched into Manus Flanneily
of No 223 Twelfth ST.. without cause or provocation
lie had TO find bail in the sum of $500 10 answer
DRUNK.
William Carroll was lying down drunk corner Of
Grand and Forsyth-sts Firof ,l'
PRETTY c .'rN.
Michael Kerain another nehle Paddy, got
drm X and insulted ladies In rect for which
be was locked up ten days.
JUVENILE PICKPOCkETS.
Patrick Conway and George Burkett two lads,
pcktd TIE packet Of Portuguese boy of one and nine
pence. They were held for examination.
EVERY MAN m> OWN PoET.
Two individuals, evidently not residents of the
Fifth-sv were brought in to settle dispute in which
thew had expended words CROUCH 70 make half adozen
novels and melojrama. One OF them, Mr. Calico
Shell had curious foshon of emphasiz ng the small
words in his sentences, and of speaking with great
voubility that his speeches were kind OF hngual
hasiy-lucdng, pentifuly pepPered with accented par
tic'cs.
The other one, who gave his name as lePbet Bones,
was remarkable cor attempting to make his sentences
rhyme TO tct which he did with iOer8be readiness,
sometimes quoting line from woll-known author,
sometimes making his own words answer; AS he was
rot tOrticulGI about the meter Of his Spontaneous
velsts, they oDly ingled. the eject was novel al
least.
MIR. Caleb Shell claimed 10 be travelling merchant,
and engaged In the gentee aud profitable employment
of selling olarus Japhet the mProrisatore had pGr-
lased sbC-fsh OF the irt named gentleman with the
coptholoccai cOEnOmon, but beng as po r as men ot
remarkable roetic gfs generally are, he could not i'd
vance the pecuniGry equivalent; 20 add to his msde-
meanor be not only refused to pay for the eam- but
threw the shells at the venerable ackass employed 20
draw the cart containing them this dignihed animal
being frightened fiom his customary propnety, had
prnvtly upset Il whole establishment in muc-hoe,
and then deliberately lain down upon the scattered
bivalvos 70 their iTotIieyable damage Caleb made
his complaint thus:
O. This man came 10 my cart. and be said that be
wanted some clans; gave him he CLANS GHd be ate
en- mp; then he said that he hadn't got any money
and that | might 90 10 the devil; thea he throsed
clam shells a. my iackass and my jackess he backed
GgsiHs' post and upset my vegetables.
Japhet-Floase Your Honor, this chap j. liar;
m sure ti6 subscriber never had desire
To make row in the street-so how could il come
That should throw clam shells and scare this mans
ackass
Critical Officer. with taste for poetry-whst kind
of wood, poetry is that
Japho;-Nhai do you know about rhymes you iel-
low with red hair,
It's impossible that you should be Judge Of the
srclo,
And I'm onl|was;iDg my sweetness on the desert
Caeb-Tbats the way he talked aR the time
thrk < he's an oscaped unary.
Judee-slr BoIes. bid you eat this mans CLANS and
JsIhet-l acknowledge told him TO 90 TO the
But poverty, Sir, Is my only excuse;
When / tried TO get trusted FOR sausages they gave
naught but damns
And so the only thing could do wss 20 fed IN this
mans clans.
Judce-Stop your ridiculous Thyming.
,aphet-S.r you maypt know it, for don't show i,
but m poet. ano must 20 II, blow II.
Judge losgusted. sddrssses Caeb'-What . the
value of WbG. he eat Il
/ Caleb lmaihematicallyl-Thr y-seyen cents aBi
half beside the spillifcaon that he jsckess Did.
Judge 1,nently disposed 70 Japhes-lf you pay
this. YOU can 20.
Jaihet--My money l. gone, my pure exhausted;
had ono once, but lately lost if; and 4 any fellow
picks il up anc thinks he's cot easure bel h1d
/ out what q devil Of mistake hes made when he ex-
amines il al bis leisure. Pay pay I've got no way
some other CAV, in fortnight say if pass ths wa',
perhaTs may. Bat, your Honor this greedy clansier
charges mt too 700 much. hs business vas so hmtec
his furniture such his cams stale his cart -
old his beast 50 Ioor aud thin. tbat n poet AMI
aceutleman wOulds't give more than niue cents FOR
the whole estabIi-hmeni: ] wouldn't. pon my honor
Judge, not ii he d throw the jsck ass IN
Fnt Ia r..r4 frrE