Burlington tri-weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1852-1855, 1855-04-14
An EXPLOSIVE JACK ASS;

1The following enthusiastic story, says the
NO. Delta, is rendered more interesting,
from the fact that the hero is now sojourning
in our city. We have heard it before and
perhaps some Of our readers, but it will bear
repetition, especially Is We are now supplied
with the most satisfactory proof OF its literal
truth
On a beautiful evening in the month Of
mot in June but) November, when the soft
haze Of the Indian summer was lazily eddy
ing over the prairies that lie between the At
tascoso and the San Miguel twelve of US en-
camped on strip Of timber bordering on the
beautiful lake, formed by the latter stream,
about three days journey little south OF
west of San Antonio dc Bexar. We had rode
far thai day through burnt district, where
water and provisions were scarce. There
fore, was it, that on reaching the banks Of
the lake, though we had yet full two hours of
day light we dismounted. The hunters star
ted out, the horses were washed, waterei and
picketed, TIE fir. lighted, md we prepared for
the most--I have nearly said, the only COM
Portable being in rangers life-a supper
when you happen to have one. This time we
were not doomed to be disappointed on that
score, for the hunters soon returned with as
supper besides. Then commenced the hustle
SHINING and cutting up game, parching cof
fee, boiling water, baking -four cakes. stew
ing. roasting, laug ching, whooping, chopping,
grinding-in fine doing everything that was
necessary to get that supper ready and max
time pass until it was ready.
Everything had closed in. The badly pun
ished supper had taken itself out of that
Here and there it's true some hunter who had
not been in as great hurry rs the rest, was
lazily picking the juicy flesh, from the wreck
of what had been noble saddle, but such
bows as those can eat as long as there is n
| supper or anything else. One by one, the
boys wiped their knives, drew out their pipes,
stuffed and began to smoke.
81 say, jeff" cried one of the rangers,
you must have had some strange times down
here afore the Americans began to settle
Pve hearn tell some monstrous tall stories
about them days, and dar say now twas
true.''
"Weal,' says JEFF, ssI'll bet you. you never
hear tell on the Western Texas Flying Jack
ass Artillery, yet did you?"
"What was that jeff" we cried out one
and all.
oval don't kear if do tell yer, for
twas first rate idear and acted splendid.
You see, old man Joe-yer all know him
was right down bothered with those pesky
yaller bellies, (the Camanches,) riding into
San Antonio and helping themselves to what
they wanted, for yer see that it was a good
spell afore we got down here with the old
Major, and the greasers they used to run like
all wraths if. yer ever jist happened to say
sCamanche' along side o'them. Wal, old
Joe had been tryin' long time to screw
up these greasers to the sticking pint, to
make'em fight the yaller bellies, but twarnt
no 60. They'd talk, swear and threaten all
creation, but the moment they'd hear good
honest war whoop, they'd run an screach like
a wild cat that's left his tail in steel trap
Now old Joe had been a thinking for long
time tryin' to skeer up some trick to keep
off Jack Ingin. So next time he went to
New Orleans, to get some goods, in pOking
| about he cum across small brass cannon
with two inch bore. Thinks he, that's the
! trick, and l'll jist put new wrinkle in Jack
! Ingin's hide. So he gone and brought it..
Wal, when he gone over to San Antonio,
thinks he to himself, what in the devil am l
going to do for carriage; SO that set him
to studying, until at last he satisfied
he'd hit it. So he gothold of great big
g-legged mule, then goo and gets pack
saddle straps it on his back and hoists on the
| top of it his little cannon and fastened it on;
but as them sailor would say, he shipped
it athwart beam. WAL, he wads up this
piece with a pretty good chug of cart
ridge, and touched her of. Away went the
load one way, while Mister mule, he come
down cowallop on his back at the totber side.
ssHallo-o." says the old cove, s'that amt it
yet" so he hunts round until ne finds short
cross grained, cranky little bit Of Mexican
Jackass, as had about as much obstinacy in
his hide, as any fine lady ever seed in the
white settlement in Arkansas. "Now'' SAYS
! he, ssthat's the article,' so he mounts gun o.
| top % him, but this time he put it straight
along the little fellows back so that the muz-
Gle of the piece was right over the donkey's
tail! Wal, when he got her loaded and prim-
ed. s'Now," says he 'sfor it, and he touch
ed her off. Master Donkey stood steady
enough, only he did't like such pesky pull
ing at his tail for yer see, the old man had
| passed the end of the crupper around the
| breach Of the gun, but he didn't give quite
slack enough for the recoil. So master
Donkey must have thought some bone car
penter or other had got at him for his
tail, and began kicking like all nation.
| That'll do thinks old Joe, 50 he went on
| drilling his donkey and tother one a kickin'
every time he fired.
Some time after, one of the grsaser scouts,
came in one evening, skeered half into fits,
and reported that the Camanches had Just
encampel down on tother side of the SewiI-
Ter (Chibolo creek,) and would come into
town next morning, for them Injins were none
of yer sne kin devils; they took the broad
day light for their rascality. Nuf sed, old
Joe screws up his greasers, mounts his gun,
takes master donkey along by the bride, and
by daylight they all got down on the Sewil-
Ter, just opposite th Injins. The yaller bel
lies looked over and sees all the Mexicans