The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1855-11-22
Queer Franks of an Australian Widow.

-
Skidmore, of Albany, New Y ork, though
: he would like to "try his luck" in Aus
tralia. He broke the matter to Mrs
Skidmore, who wept over the subject fo
a week, and then consented that Mr..
might seek his fortune as he desired, bu
she gave him to understand that he mus
never expect to see her alive again. Mr.
i S. undertook to talk her out of "sucI
foolish notions" but without effect. Mrs
S. was determined to seek the soothing
influences of the quiet tomb, and nothing
could or should keep her out of it. Ii
consequence of this, Mr.. S. Quilted home
with a heavy heart, but as be was edo
ing it for the best," be was resolved not
to sacrifice great duty to uncalled for
weakness. Mr.. S. sailed for Australia
from New York, in the year 1852. Du-
ring his stay in "the land of Kangaroos, .
he accumulated some 5000 over and a.
bove his doctors bills.
When Mr.. S. left Albany he was some
what corpulent, and sported a neat little
pair of zone horse whskers" When he
returned-which was on Monday after
noon of last week-he was as thin as pau
per's soup, and had pair of whiskers
large and shaggy enough for door mat.
Mr.. S. was an altered man, so much so
that his intimate acquaintances did not
recognize him. In consequence of this
transformation, he thought he would treat
his wife to an agreeable surprise. On
enquiring be ascertained that Mrs. s. was
keeping boarding house in High street.
Mr.. S. Immediately repaired to bis DOM
icil-knocked, and after moments
waiting was asked into the parlor. In
another moment Mrs. made her appear
ance. Mr. s wished to know if he could
be Accommodated with board for the next
six weeks. Mrs. S. replied, "with pleas
ure." Mr.. S. wished to know if she had
any other boarders. Mrs, s. replied "no
one but her cousin-a very amiable and
religious young gentleman" Mr.. S. al
lowed that this was very nice, and imme-
diately engaged parlor and q bed room,
at eight dollars a week. Mr.. S. wanted
to see how things "were coming out"
He was grati6ed. A moment after he
made arrangements for his parlor and
bed room the cousin, "the religious young
gentleman" rang the door bell. Mrs. S.
let him in, favor that the cousin paid
with kiss. Mrs. S. then remembered she
had something to do in the back bed
room up stairs. The cousin said that he
would "go along and help" Mr.. S. said
that that was unnecessary. The cousin
wanted to know what he had to say a.
bout it. Mr.. S. replied great deal
whereupon be took the cousin by the neck
opened the front door, and kicked him
off the atoop. Mr.. S. then gave his at
tention to Mrs. S. and informed her that
he was not Benjamin Simpson," as he
had represented himself to be, but Sam
uel Skidmore, her husband. Mr.. S.
wanted to know what "such actions
meant. Mrs. S. answered by going of
into swoon. Mr.. S. informed Mrs. S.
that the game was played out; that he
wanted an explanation,or he would serve
her as he had her consin. This restored
Mrs. S. to consciousness. She insisted
that Mr.. s. was jealous without cause
and that what he took for q kiss, was
the swapping of whip in her cousin:
hand. Mr.. S. wanted to know where
that cousin had come from, why he new.
er hear of him before he went to Austral
ia, and whether he was often in the hab
it of swapping his whip in Mrs. 81
back bedroom? Mrs. s. replied tha
previous to the year 1852 he had resided
in the State of Maine, and that tht
reason why she dad not spoken of hin
was because she had not seen bin
since childhood, and supposed be wa:
dead. Having accounted for the appear
ance of her cousin. Mr. s. wished Mrs
S. to explain the other matter, and
that was, how two children had beer
born to him during his absence =? Mrs
s. said she would not answer "sucl
insulting questions" that she was ''no
going to allow any brute to come frou
Australia to trample on the feelings o
poor lone woman" Here Mrs. S
seized her shawl and bonnet, and dart
ed out of the house, since which depar
ture "the poor lone womon" has no
been seen by any one. On Tuesda.
Mr.. S. appeared before Justice Parsons
to see what disposition could be mad'
of "those two last boys" The Justice
referred Mr.. S. to Mr.. George Herbert
the Poor Master. Mr.. Herbert advised
Mr.. Skidmore to "keep the boys" an'
sue the "cousins" for adultery. Wheth
er he will do SO will be seen at th
next court.
MoRAL.-When you 60 to Australia
take your wife along. Solitude is a
corrupting as idleness.