The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1855-02-07
gtiss0rinqs.


EA If you want to keep your health,
don't keep Swallowing down medicine.
Il Winter carries off moro single
girls than q fearful epidemic.
EAW Whom is q fowls neck like a
bell? When it is wrung for dinner.
1.-THE man who was bent on mat
rimony,' Strengthened up afterwards.
tx What men want of reason for
their opinions, they usually supply and
make up in rage.
ga wag observes that he looks
under the marriage head for the news
of the 1ccek.
New LIQUoR--An old topper into a
tavern in Baltimore the other day, and
asked for a glass of ad-vo-lo-rumI
@They have come to soleing shoes
with cedar shiEgles-veneering the
wood with q piece of poor shecpskin.
EHarsh words are like hailstones
in summer, which if melted, would fer
tilize the tender plants they batter
down.
Somebody says, q wife should
be like roast lamb-tender and nice
dressed. Somebody else wickedly adds
= and without sauce
@-A new work is now in press
which it is anticipated will meet with an
immense sale. 1t is entitled Smith on
the Evasion of Debts"
HThis life is too short for indul-
gence of many hopes, the chasing of many
baubles, or tho seeking after riches
which may take to themselves wings.
EEA student at one of our West
ern Colleges boosted of his early piety,'
because he attended prayers in the
Chapel every morning before daylight.
Ii Diogenes favors the anti-chole-
ra increase of spirit-rations in the navy,
as by that means every Jack will hare
has gill.
e The difference between an old
and young one is, taat one is
happy and careless, and the other cap
ply and hairless.
EThe w-asherwoman whe attemp-
ted to hang her clothes on Mason and
Dixon's line, has been prosecuted for a
violation of the last great compromise.
e If our Maker thought it wrong
for. Adam to live single when there was
not a woman on earth, how Grimm ally
guilty are old bachelors, with the world
full of pretty girls.
EAA country paper can't under
stand how the young men of New York
City make a living. Out of every "a
hours, 16 are said to be devoted to the
fire engine, and the other 8 to { target
shoots
EA bachelor in Fitchburg gave
the following sentiment on the last
Fourth of July celebration
THE Ladies--sweet briars in the gar
den Of life
e Women govern us let US try
to render them perfect. The more they
are enlighted, so much the more shall
we be. en- the cultivation of the minds
of women depends the wisdom of men.
ExAcrLY.-Marry a pint of rum to a
lu mp of sugar, and in less than an hour
there Will spring from the union a whole
family of shillalahs and broken heads.
The marriage ceremony can be perform
ed with a toddy stick.
EEA youngster being chased by a
wild COW ran into a thjcket, and not re-
turning home till late, was asked by his
mother where he had been. "a COW
hiding, ma = was the precious reply of
the little fellow.
THE IEFIDEL.-When the Rev. Mr..
heard an infdel jestingly say, 1
always spend the Sunday in settling my
accounts he turned round and said, in
an accent of deep solemnity, { You may
find, sir, that the day of judgment is to
be spent in exactly the same manner
~The everlasting hills will erum-
BILE to dust, but the influence of a good
man will never die. The earth will
grow old and perish, but virtue in the
heart will be ever green and flourish
throughout eternity. The moon and
the stars will grow dim, and the sun
roll from the heavens. but true religion
udefled will grow Brighter, and not
49, Ill n-1- Lille ,Io1Ir I;ra