Weekly hawk-eye and telegraph. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1855-1857, 1855-08-29
A jolly TWO.

| The police reporter of the New York Tri-
bune gets off some humorous sketches. Here
is enc of the last
Yesterday morning man made his appear,
ance Def re Justice Brennan who seemed to
have perfect fountain of undiluted content
meht somewhere in his composition which no
depressing influences of care and accident had
bern able to exhaust adtlterate-a typo, a
/ modern edition of Mark Tapley-a human bar
rel of holiness without hoops on He was ar
| rested for being Intoxicated. He gave his name
as Gettyphat fake, and said he was printer,
and ha led from g The Gem of Science" Or
j fee. Il
His answers to the questions of the anthori-
/ ties showed his contentme::t under all shades of
fortune. The Justice being also in genial
hnmor inclined to banter the disciple of
Ben. Franklin, and accordingly addressed him
as follows:
Judge-Well, Mr.. Take, it seems you have
thrown aside the composing stck,' and gore
to getting drunk for living Pm afraid you're
bad case' and stand in need of 'scorrecting.'
think | shall send you to '.quod -
These technical'ties, which were uttered in a
sort of you-see I-know-y our trade as-wel- as
you.do air, seemed to give Mr. Take that as
surance which printers seldom lack, but of
which the solemnites of Police Court might
temporarily have deprived him, and he an.
! swered
Pr soner-Well, at any rate, I'm glad we've
no 'galleys" in this country, or ] suppose
you'd put me there, and well "leaded" at that.
But bless you, Sir, gong to jas nothing; the
him to chew tobacco beside insenting three
new steps for fancy hornpip Its good deal
better than setting .'suid minion,', more than
three uar ers figure work. and getting only
ssp ice and ha:f'' for it. Lord bless you,
! Squire, I'D great deal rather go to jail ten
days than not. I've got sick CT work .st now, ,
and I'll have chance TO get the bile off my
/ stomach"
Judge ou seem to take it easy; how do YOU
propose to employ your trip this time.
Pris Well, Corporal, Pm undecided wheth.
err I'll learn to whistle the opera of the s'Bohe-
/ mian Grip practice stanCiig on my head, or
undertake to acquire the elegant accomplish
ment of balancing straws on my nose; if
could get cat I'd teach her to play the fiddle.
! If thought The strings wouldn't iemnd her nn-
pleasantly of Intestinal discords after her feline
| body had been niHe times slain.
Judge--Mr. Take You seem particularly han
| py under the circumstances; have you got a
iRwife? @ s
Prls.--Not now, Lieutenant; had one, but,
| she run off with bow-.egged cebbler; + was
so glad about il that sent her dresses and
in capital letters; she left me one boy-but he
! was a .sfoel copy" not bit like mel bound
him prentice to the type sticking trade, but
the first day he qaarrelled with the regular
sdevii.'' TIPPED over the ssbank,y pulled
siform'' off the imposing stone" and ..piei''
| FIVE .columns;'' he dropped the shooting
stick'' into the s.aligator press'' aud in the
| evening he and another hopeful boy were
caught rehearsing broadsword combat with
couple of sscolumn rules - the "foreman''
sbaliered'' hi n with the amallet,'' and when he
got home to me he had asfancy head, p If there
ever was one.
Clerk Where is he now
Pris. He ran away with a circus, and the
last saw of him be was in the middle of asaw-
dust ring trying to lie his legs IN bow-knot
round his neck; I've been iclter since then
than ever before.
Jndge-You seem to be always jolly
Priss-So I am; | laughed when ny fatLer
turf ed me out OF doors at eleven years old;
laughed when broke my arm, and made funny
face. at the doctor while he was setting il; the
happ:ess day ever spent was one time when /
hadn't but one. shirt and pan, of pants to put
| on. had s:ent all my money and gone hungry
forty hours. ] never was really anhappy but
once in my life, and that was when fell down
stairs, fractai ed my coIlar-boae, and skinned
my leg so badly ! couldn't get down on my
knees to thank God hadn't broken my
neck. & 3
The Judge reiented and let Mr Take go, and
that roland individual Eft The room trying TO
whistle and sing at the same time, and also
dance an independent jig with each leg to dit.
ferenf tune ~ 4se<S8> sa3 :