The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1855-09-12
A FISHY CONVENTION.

more natural punning than will be found
in the following extract from COn,ical
Report Of a Fish Convention. 1t is to
be understood that all the marine monsters,
big fish, and "small fry" of the great
deep are assembled in conclaYe = the
Whale ''in the chair"
"He opened the Convention by stating
that he did not wish to make speech;
he would take up as little room, and be
no longer than possible.
"(Here the Shark whispered to the
Sword Fish that it was not possible for
the Whale to be much longer, as he was
over eighty feet now. In has opinion, he
only wanted chance to spout: in fact he
considered him regular old blower.)
"The Whale continued and contended
that he had been grossly insulted by man-
he might say, lampooned; not that he
would pun upon the use made of his fat,
as he did not wish to make light of such
a matter He had been harpooned, at
least. Men were sarcastic toward him,
and their shafts were sharp and pointed.
Some of his fellow-whales had been very
much cut up, and exceedingly tried. He
had lately learned that "a substitute for
Oil had been invented which might lessen
the persecution of whales-but he feared
it was all gas. The Whale alluded to a
harpoon which bad lately hit him; it had
made great impression on him, and,
he feared, had affected him deeply
"Here his feelings overpowered him,
and he sat down Con the Shark) amidst a
general blubber.
! s'The Shark rose with some difficulty,
and remarked that the tale of the Whale
had moved him; in fact, it was very strik-
ing His own situation was far from
pleasant. He was by profession law
yer, and, he hattered himself one of the
deep kind. But business was bad, and
he had been obliged to take in a few pu-
pills. He had lately presented a fine OPEN
ing for young man who fell overheard,
but was soon afterward obliged to reject
his suit as indigestible. Unless he had
more cases.. he should leave the law and
open as dentist.
i 1.-The Sea-Serpent did not wish to in
trude upon the Convention: he did not
know whether he properly belonged to
the fsh-tribe or not. All he asked was
not to be classed with the Eel, whom he
considered to be very slippery charac-
ter. (Here the Eel was observed to
wriggle violently.l Lately, he was pas
sing certain species of the Eel, when
ljust happening to touch him, he had been
so shocked that he hardly recovered.
"The Eel hastily arose, and said that
he was shocked-he might say electrif
ed-at these remarks. 1t was evident to
him that the Serpent must get himsel
into COIL As for his being a slippery
character" he thanked Neptune he didn',
belong to such a scaly set as the Ser
pent.
1.-THE Whale called the Eel to order
and the Eel called the Whale an ole
swell-head," I" and was then summarily put
out of the Convention.
1.-The Turtle said he was suffering from
a slight indisposition. He was walking
on shore, he said, short time since, wher
he met q party of jolly young sailors
The result was, that he was laid fiat OF
his back, and was unable to move forsom,
time and since then he had not felt 81
lively as usual. There was one thing tt
which he would call the attention of tn,
Conventions; he prided himself upon tn,
purity of his political principles. HI
was the Alderman's best friend. Th'
Shark had lately insulted him by calling
: him Irregular old Hard She'll"
II "Here the Shark interrupted him b,
asking, "Is not that your cose?"
+ The Turtle replied, that he "shoult
say nothing more at present, but shoul,
: have something to lay before the mex
t meeting"
g "Yes,' replied the Shark, contemptu
ously; "a few eggs probably
, 1.-The Porpoise undertook to speak, bu
was speedily silenced. The expression
of the Convention was, that he was
blower
The Small Fry were next calle
upon = Oysters, Lobsters, and others
The Oyster opened has case, which was
hard one He was always in trouble
perpetual stew or broil. His half-broth
Ter, Clam, was q disgrace to the family
: always in liquor, and generally considere'
4 a squirt Some of his family were in
. dolent, and spent most of their time il
> 'beds' There had been some rakes q
= mong them, who had created great dis
i turbance,
"There " was one of his neighbors, b
: said-'He would not call any names, fo
= he scorned scandal who was very surl
! and Grabbed. He was one-sided indi
: vidual, and nobody approved of his mo
= tions.
: : The Crab protested against this abuse
and said that the rest took advantage G
! him because he was soft He respect
:, fully retired backward.
q 1.-THE Goldfish, who had been visiting
r SCHOOL, the Shad, much nettled at wha
!, he had heard; the aristocratic Salmon
!. who got into row with York Stat
4 Trout, who called him Northern Fis
e with Southern principles; and the FLYNN
L s,1k< k,o,- \