The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1855-09-13
The Happy Typo.

The Happy Typo.
4 cheerful temper is a natural gift, the de-
STABILITY of which cannot be questioned, but
seldom do we meet with spirit so thor
oughly saturated with good nature that
no disappointment, no poverty, deprivation
or combination of adverse circumstances can
break it down or overcome its geniaity.-
But yesterday morning a man made his ap-
pearance before Justice Brennan who seemed
to have perfect fountain of undiluted con-
tcntment somewhere in his composition,
which no depressing influences of care or &C
cident had been able to exhaust or adulterate.
type, a modern edition Of Mark Tapley-a
human barrel of holiness without hoops on
lie was arrested for being intoxicated. lie
gave his name as Gettyphat Take, and said
he was printer, and hailed from "The Gem
of Science" Office. He is a short man, of a
beer-cask figure, and aface as rubicund as if
he slept in room with red curtains. His
answers to the questions of the authorities
showed his contentment under all shades of
fortune. The Justice, being also in ge-
NAL humor, was inclined to banter the desci-
pie of Ben Franklin, and accordingly ad-
dressed him as follows:
Judge.--Weil, Mr.. Take, it seems that YOU
have thrown aside the sscomposing stick. -
and gone to getting drunk for living. Pm
afraid you're g bad case" and stand in
need of correcting" think shall send
you to "quod.'
These technicalities, which were uttered in
a sort Of you-see-I-know- your trade well
as-you-do air, seemed to give Mr.. Take that
assurance which printers seldom lack, but of
which the solcmnities of Police Court
might temporarily have deprived him, and
he answered:
Prisoner.-wcll, a. any rate, I'm glad
we've no "galcys" in this country, or sur
pose you'd put me there, and we'll ssleaded'
at that. But bless you, sir, going to Jail Is
nothing the last time was there | tanned
rat and taught him to chew tobacco, besides
inventing three new steps for a fancy horn
pipe-it's a good deal better than setting
''solid mlnion," more than three quarters
'fgurc work" and getting only 'price and
a-half" for it. Lord bless YOU, Squire, I'd
agreat deal rather go to Jail ten days than
not. Eve got sick of work just now, and
III have chance to get the bile of my
stomach.
Judge.-You seem to take it easy; how
do you propose to employ your time the
present trip
Prisoner.-Well, Corporal, Pm undecided
whether iii learn to whistle the opera of the
Bohemian Girl" practice standing on nv
head, or undertake to acquire the elegant ac-
complshment of balancing straws on nv
nose; If could get cat I'd teach her to
play the fiddle, if | thought the strings
wouldn't remind her unpleasantly of intcsti-
nal discord, after her feline body had been
nine times slain.
JudJe.-Mr. Take, you seem particularly
happy under the circumstances; have you got
a wife?
Prisoner.-Not now, Lieutenant; had
one, but she run OF with bow-leggcd cob
Ter; was so glad about it that sent her her
dresses and quit-claim deed of her person,
which signed in capital letters; she left me
one boy-but he was ''foul copy;' not a
bit like me; bound him prentice to the
type-sticking trade; but the first day he quar-
relied with the regular ''deyil,' knocked over
the "bank,' pulled .sform of the imposing
stone" and ''pied" FIVE s'columns;" he
dropped the shooting stick into the CALI
gator PRESS" and in the evening he and an
other hopeful boy were caught rchearsinr
broad sword combat with couple Of sscol-
umn rules" the foreman sbattered, him
with "mallet,' and when he got home to
me he had ''fancv head,'' if ever there was
one.
Cierk.-Whrrc is he now?
Prisoner.-He Runaway with circus, and
the last saw Of him he was in the middle
OF saw-dust ring, trying to tie his legs in
bow-knot round his neck; Eve been iollicr
since then than ever before.
ymdge.-You seem to be always jolly.
Prisoner.--So am; l laughed when my
father turned me out Of doors at eleven
years old, laughed when l broke nv arm.
and made funny faces Mt the doctor while he
was setting it; the happiest. day ever spent
was one time when hadn't but one shirt
and apair Of pants to put on, had spent all
my money, and gone hungry forty hours
| never was really unhappy but once in NV
life, and that was when / fell down stairs.
fractured my collar-bone, and skinned my
leg 80 badly couldn't get on my knees to
thank God hadn't broken nv neck.
The Judge rclented and let Mr.. Take 90,
and that refund individual left the room try
ing to whistle and sing At the same time, and
also to dance an independent jig with each
leg TO different tune
THr THREE Jolly HussASDs.-The three
Joiiy husbands, out in the country. bv the
names OF Tim Watson, Joe Brown and Bill
walker, sat late one evening drinking at the
village tavern, until being pretty we'll corned:
they agreed that each one, on returning
nome should do the first thing that his wife
told him, in default of which he shmld tho
next morning pay the bill. They then sena-
rated for the night, engaging to meet again
the next morning, and give an honest account
OF their proceedings ct home, so far a thew
related TO the bill.
The next morning Walker and Brown were
early at their Dosts hut II -. .n..a .:-.s