The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1855-07-11

W WdII uUh u suullnOn5 10 SURRENDER.
SPEECH OF XAcHARMu SpIcER On
the question which enjoys the greatest
amount ofhappiness, the bachelor or tie
married MANI"
Mr.. President and Gent lemcn,-I rise
TO advocate the right of the inarried
man. And why should 1 not2 I claim
to know something about the institution.
| DO Will any gentleman pretend to
say that do not ? Let him accompany
me home Let me confront him with my
wife and actenteen children, and then
let him decide
High as the Rocky Mountains tower
above the Mississippi Valley, does the
character Of the married man tower a
bove that of the bachelor What is n
bachelor2 What was A lam before be
got acquainted with Eve ? What but
poor r,shiftless, helpless insignificant crca.
turc2 No more to be compared with
his aftcrsclf than a milldam to the great
roaring cataract of Niagara. + Applause
Gentlemen, there vas time i blush to
say it-whcn ! too was bachelor and
more miserable creature you would hard.
" expect to find. Every day | toilod
hard and at night | came home to my
comfortlcss garret-no carpet, no moth.
ing Every thing was in clutter, aud
in he words of the poet
Confusion was monarch ofall he surveyed"
Here lay pair of pants, there dirty
pair of boots, there a plav-bill and here
pile of dirty clothes. What wonder that
| took refuge at the gaming table and
bar.room. | found 1t would never do,
gentlemen, and in a lucky moment
vowed to reform Scarcely had the
promise passed my lips when knock
was heard at the door. and in came Susan
Simkins after my dirty clothes.
Mr.. Spiccr,' says she, : We washed
for You six months aud | haven't seen
the first red cent in the way of payment.
Now Id like to know what you are 90.
lug to 90 about it,
fc't in my pocket, book There was
not penny in it, and | knew it well
enough
Miss Simkins,' says |, ITS no uso in
denying it. | haven't got the pewter
| wish for your sake had
There. said she promptly, don't
wash another rag for YOU
Stop said |, Susan. will do what
| can for yol. Silver and gold | have
none but if my heart and hand will do.
they are a, your scr:icc.'
Are You earnest says she. 10 oking
little suspicious
Never more SO, Susan, l assure you.'
says
Then says she. as thcro seems to be
no prospect Of getting my pay any other
way, guess [ will take up with your of.
fer
Enough snid,' says We were mar.
riel in IL week and what's more. We
have not rcpcnted it, No more attics
for ne, gentlemen live in good
house. and have somebody to mend my
clothes. When was poor miserable
bachelor. gentlemen, used to be as poor
and as thin as weaslc Now | am as
plump as apofker,
la conclusion. gentlemen, if you want
to be poor ragged outcast, without a
coat to Your back,or a shoe to your foot;
IT you want to grow old before your
time and feel as uncomfortable, gener.
ally as edsehog, rolled up tho
wrong way | advise you to remain
bachelor if you want to live decently
and respectfully get married. I've got
ten daughters gentlemen [overpowering
applause. and you may have your pick
Mr.. Spicer sat down amidst long con.
'inued plandits, The generous proposal
with which hc concluded secured him
five sont-in-l law.