Southern sentinel. [volume] (Plaquemine, Parish of Iberville [La.]) 1848-1858, 1855-09-01
HOW MR.. SPARROWGRASS
L A NJ E DOWN STAIRS,

One evening Mrs. S. had retired and I was
ousy writing, when it struck me that a glass
OF Ice water would be palatable So took a
candle and pitcher and went down to the
pump. Our pump is in the kitchen. A country
pump IN the kitchen is more convenient; but
well with buckets is certainly more picturesque.
| Unfortunately our well water has ~ been
swee, since it was cleaned out First; had to
open bo'ted door that lets you into the base
ment hail. and then went to The kitchen door,
which proved to be locked. Then remember.
ed that our girl always carried tho key to bed
with her, and slept with it under her pillow.
Then retraced my steps; bolted the bases
ment door, and went up Into the dining room.
AS Is always the case, found when / could
not get any water, was thirster than I cup
posed was. Then thought | would wake
our girl up. Then concluded not to do it.
Then thought of the well, but gave that up
on account Of the flavor. Then opened the
closet doors-there was no water there; and
then thought Of the dumb waiter! The nov.
city OF the idea made me smile; ! took out two
OF the movable shelves, stood the pitcher on the
bottom OF the dumb waiter, got in1myself with
the lamp; let myself down until supposed
was within foot Of The floor below, and then
let GO!
Nduo uV"u So SuuOcnIy, LlaL j was SnOt
out OF the apparatus as if it had been a cata-
putt. 1t broke the pitcher, extinguished the
lamp, and landed me in the middle Of the kitci.
en- at midnight with no fire, and the air not
much above the zero point. The truth is had
miscalculated the distance of the descsnt-in- |
stead Of falling one foot had fallen five. NV |
trst Impulse was to ascend by the way came
down, but found that impracticable. Then !
tried the kitchen door, it was locked; tried to |
force 1t open; it was made of two inch stuff |
and held its own. Then hoisted the window,
and there were the rigid iron bars. If l ever !
telt angry at anybody, it was ut myself for put
ting up those bars TO please Mrs. Sparrow
grass. put them up, not to keep people in
put to keep people out.
! laid my cheek against the ice cold barriers
and looked out at the sky, not star was visi.
bic; it was as black as ink overhead. Then | !
thought Of Baron Trenck and the prisoner of
ChilIion. Then made noise! shouted until
was hoarse, and ruined our preserve kettle with
the poker. That brought our dogs out in full
bark, and between US we made night hideous.
Then thought heard voice, and listened
it was Mrs. Sparrowgrass calling me from the
top Of the staircase. tried to make her hear
me, but the dogs united with howl, growl and
bark, so as to drown my voice, which is natur-
aI'py laintive and tender. And, there were two
bOted doors and double dcafened floors be.
tween Us; how could she recognize my voice
syen if she did bearit? Mrs. Sparrowgrass call
I'd once or twice, and then got frightened; the
next thing heard was sound as if the roof
lad fallen in, by which understood that Mrs.
Sparrowgrass was springing the rattle. That
'aled our neighbo., already wide awake. He
:aune to the rescue with bull terrier, a New
oundiand pup, lantern and a revolver. The
moment he saw me he shot at me, but fortuna
ely just missed me. threw myself under the
'itchen table and began to expostulate with {
'im but he would not listen to reason. In the .
! had forgotten his name, and that J
made matters worse. 1t was not until he had
oused up everybody around, broken in the |
basement door with an axe, gotten into the
itchen with his savage dogs and shooting iron, I
nd seized me by the collar, that he recognized |
ne-and then wanted me to explain it! But ,
What kind of an explanation could l make TO ,
i'm! told him he would have to wait until
~ mind was composed and then would let
i'm understand the whole matter fully. But q
. never would have had the particulars from j
,e, for do not approve Of neighbors that
boot at you, break in your door, and treat you t
! your own house As If you were jail.bird. i
1e knows all about it, however, for somebody =
as told him; somebody tells everybody every-
rIYNFpI In RvyhvIn O.~e- r