Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1855-08-08
EXPERIENCE WITH 4 FULL
BEARD-LOST LETTER.

n following letter seems 10 nave
miscarried, and the only way in which it
is likely to reach Ned, that we can think
of, is to publish it. As it seems to refer
10 Warren and its inhabitants, we sup
pose the individuals whose portraits are
taken, can recognise their likenesses. -
EDS. CHRONICLE.
DEAR NED:-You know | left YOU in
the tall corn down the Sciota Valley,
about the first of this month, (July) 10
spend my independence among the Yam
KEGS. up on the Reserve. The longer |
live away from these fellows, the odder
they seem to me when | 90 back again.
They are contenied to walk in a strait
and narrow path, and insist that every
body else shall DO so too.
Well, you know | had been cultivating
a most magnificent beard, partly 10 pro
tect my throat from the damp winds, and
partly TO astonish sentimental man and
woman milliners /; so | went up TO the old
County Seat, on the morning of the 4Ih
of July, and trundIed down Quinby Hill,
across the fiat and through the bridge,
with as much patriotism slowed in under
my jacket, as l could safely carry. |
was quietly picking my way along the
snake-head plank walks, (Which. by the
way, were ordained" when this CORES.
pendent was one of the City Fathers of
this corporation, when | came spat upon
old ; | knew him by his blear eye
and the extensive rum-blossom on his
nose. ala! Col.," says he, al hardly
knew you for that ugly beard why in
- don't you shave? 2" | smiled ir-
wardly at his criticism, for he must have
been shared two or three times that morn
ing.
Presently | got in the crowd, and saw
by the way they pricked up their ears,
that [ was in for a time, so | determined
to bottle up my patriotism, and devote
myself TO the public benefit. There was a.,
good father s., who had laid down
his ja~ck-plane for the day, when | salu.
ted him he stuck out his chin like a pike :
pole, which, Judging from its murderous
appearance, had just been shaved BY a
hand-saw, and after a half plying, half A
reproving look at my flowing hirsaie APP
Pendage, asked Positively--"Why don't
you shave2" put my finger on his
SCARED and bloody gullet, and asked in
return-"Why do goa shave" Then B
went down to Billy WIS Hotel, and there f
sat, spread out at full width, my old n
friend B, him of the boots" and D
woolly hat-and he must needs say the ?
sharpest thing he knew how to. But as re
this friend is sensitive, and withal prides 70
himself on his good looks, | spared his a
PheLnks and made no reply, except to re- $
fer him to some ofhis favorite ancient au- St
thors. c,
Next disturbed the serenity of a blow. b
ing young lawyer down-street, who wit q
asked if it was not about shearinq ..
time; to which | remarked that the sheep i,
and sPaniels were already shorn, which p
he did not like pretty well, and so fell Bl
back on his dignity. an AZ
A little further on | met my friend
-, the best shared man alive, and he al
wondered how | could manage to eat, be
with so much hair. You see we were Nj
close by 's Saloon, and | sidled him I
in, and when he called on a couple of doz- fa
of tie fish, and saw how comfortably N'
| put them out of sight, all his doubts s
vanished. And, by the way, Mrs. - fa
started the same query, in spite of the to
evidence of my personal rotun- Ps
dity, speaking volumes in favor of Sciota
beef and my capacity to digest il, | er
insured her ladyship that in all my exPe. W
.rience, a moustache was no impeachment be
to the use of spoon v%ictualsI Fl
But, dear Ned, | am not going to tell 0 0T
you all the witty things said by all the n
lantern-jawed shavelingS, and how wish So s.
fully Prof. D. looked at my crop, and ki
what a harvest it would be for Nj
his razor and shears nor how the I'm {
sophisticated people generally stared TO pu
see a live man with the bark on. But | an
must tell you a few items in regard TO "
the ladies. 81
At dinner | set opposite Miss So who 10
had been commissioning my unhandy
condition, She had on a pair of magnifi I
cent flowing sleeves, and a--what shall .
| call it ?-an oPen-front (un)dress Dos.
pm the butter-plate was before her, and ar
in reaching over for a pickle, her sleeve L.
scooped up a lump of the soft butter, ,,
which, as she carried her hand to her N
mouth, slipped of and fell out of sight vi
just below her chin, where butter must
melt! She did not remark again upon Sc
the ~unhandiness of my personal arrange 4
Dre
| had another patronizing ~sympathiser q
in Miss -, who had Oh, Just in the
.neighborhoOd of the bumps marked u &c
and 13 in Fowler's Chart, about four is
inches oil stuff, which she had deluded
herself into the idea of calling a bonnet.
Ofcourse | appreciated advice from such o
a quarter, and also from Mrs. -, whom p
| met soon after a fine shower, dragging s.
a costly skirt at her heels, the bottom Of d
which, for a hands breadth, exhibited a y
pretty uniform coating Of chocolate color q