The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1855-06-20

"The butter, Mr. Crosby" suggested
his companion, when he was again fairly
seated
az declare, what q poor memory have
gotl" And setting down the cup which
he had taken up for the second time, he
started for the missing article. Placing
it in triumph beside his wife's plate he re-
newed his attempts at coffee pouring, and
this time was successful; but it must be
confessed that he eyed the dark looking
beverage with some uncertainty as he
passed it across the table.
"Muddy coffee again, Mr.. CrosbyV'
abruptly said the lady.
The Squire hadn't word of reply.
every smoky beefsteak, my dear
What have you done to it?" she continu-
ed, pushing large piece of the obnoxi-
Gus article on one side of her plate.
"You must be extremely careless, or
such things couldn't happen as often as
they do"
What woman this is to remember,
to be sure !! Anybody would suppose that
she had kept diary Of my unlucky OBJ
servations for q year. Why, she has
them all at her tongues end thought the
individual addressed, though he didn't see
fit to make any immediate rejoinder.
The Squire had but little appetite; his
wife remarked the fact, and hoped 'that
the simple exercise of cooking breakfast
had not taken it away, as one person,
who should be nameless, was in the habit
of asserting"
/ The gentleman WINGED and prepared
himself generous slice of bread and
butter, which he proceeded to dispose oi
as though he had lacked food for weeks.
1 When the morning meal was concluded
Mrs. Crosby donned her bonnet and shawl
land remarking that she would send home
the dinner left the house. Our hero was
now alone, and could carry on operations
without an eye witness, which he observ'
led, "was much pleasanter.
"Now we'll consult the list" he added
aloud, "and have things go on in regu.
lar order. Here goes:"
i "Get breakfast, clear table, wash dishes
Eput closets in order, wipe down shelves
, clean knives, cleanse sink, rub silver, blacl
stove, keep fire, attend to door bell, sweep
hall, brush stairs, sweep parlor, dining
room, and kitchen, dust furniture, trim
lamps, do chamber work, wash meat fo1
oven, clean vegetables, stew cranberries
make puddings, and entertain visitors, i
they happen to call" e..5...s
"Bless me is that ALL" cried our house
keeper. az call that making great fuss
about little matter 1t sounds larger
than it really is / think I'll clear th'
) table, to begin with as that is put dow
next"
| So, at it he went, knocking things hith
er, and thither, at great hazard of thei
demolishment AS the idea didn't occu
) to him that he could carry waiter o
, articles at one time, he made a grea
many journeys between the dining room
, and kitchen, which necessarily consum
ed considerable time. The dish-washins
proved rather an awkward affair, ant
didn't progress SO rapidly as he coult
have wished. He could not wipe tn
/ cups handily, the saucers were bungling
} and the plates would slip back into tn
water; but after breaking cut glass tum
E bier, (which he felt sure of matching mex
: day,) knocking large piece out of ,
: platter, (Which he resolved to paste to
gether while dinner was cooking) ant
!, cracking pet dish of his wife's Will
S setting up pile Of plates, the matte
: was brought to close. The knife clean
3 ing was another thing altogether; ther
S wouldn't be any danger of breakages, ant
: he could "put 'em through" quick. Blu
b the black spots were deeper set than b
imagined, and required the exhibition Q
: more "elbow grease" than he had an
a idea Of. He contended longest with tn
carving knife, which in consequence Q
! being SO awkwardly handled, cut a sever
:, cash in his hand as q token of remem
) brance. This was a mistake that cause'
e many other mistakes during the day, ow
: ing most undoubtedly, to the clumsy ban
: dage which the Squire wrapped about hi
< hands.
0 It may be well to remark, that tn
Itlio10o1Au iAioG s"0o HAoSCu OqlOIuily IA
). conspicuous position, and frequently re
e Iferred to. He attended to the silver, an,
s then glanced at the clock. The hand
e pointed to an hour which admonishe,
i him that "time. waited for no man." AM
Q had no particular sympathy for inexpe
, rienced housekeepers.
!, What next on the docket, wonder,
;. he thought, consulting his memorandum
"Ah, stove to black Well, must ad
nit that the coffee which boiled ovel
hasn't improved its appearance much. Fl
look at the brush.n 81
: So saying he prepared the polish an
: set about the operation at once. Th
stove was quite hot and he couldn't wor
!, : to any advantage. The more liquid b
! .sput on, the more it would sputter abou
= and fly off with cracking noise. d
: thickened the liquid but it would adher
to the stove, and he began to think !
was bewitched.
At this stage Of affairs he happened t