The Diamond state., 1855-07-20

suggested by the comical appearance {
the Major. She was seated upon spir
ted horse, like the one upon which artist
usually represent the Father of onr coun
try. 1t was with considerable difficult
that she raised her plumed cap TO th
shouts that saluted her on her arrival, an,
slowly replacing it upon her lily brow, ,sb
addressed the ormy in the following Ia
comic Style:
"Soldiers, the eyes of the world ART
upon you. You are this day to decide
whether the enemy-yonder oowardly
men-shall possess our fair land--thehomt
of a Stone, a Brown, and Bloomer-oi
we. Fight bravely. Fight for your home.
and your husbands"
She ceased. The armies neared the
contest. AT the first charge fired, the
van of female forces bowed like a sea Of
grass in the western wind. Stung to mad
ness by the fall of their brave compan-
ions, the rear, right wing and left, rush
ed in confusion upon the foe, and in dead
ly strife. Firearms, bayonet and sword
were soon cast aside, and caps were torn
of-nails buried deep in the faces and
eyes of the masculine enemy, and locks
of hair, bleeding and torn, flew by on the
passing breeze. Anon there was tramp
ling of hoofs in the distance, and 10. the
retreating forces were straining every
nerve to overtake their brave General
probably to get further orders. They
were pursued in hot haste by the relent-
less foe.
As soon as the ground was cleared, |
hastened down, and followed band of
dutiful husbands, who, with their babies
on their arms,wer hunting up their woun-
ded companions. Suddenly there was a
stir in the PROSTATE van, and we had the
pleasure TO find that the victims were re
covering from the faintng fit into which
they fallen at the noise of the guns.
"Thc prize baby Where is the prize
bsbys must see the paragon Of all ba-
by perfection p
"Pass on to the showroom" said
voice in the crowd, "where with the judi
ges you will see it."
| wont with the crowd, and for the
cfqYd 81 could not choose but &C" The
n .,;;ar,ac z ,ts.i-n u i..a...,
manner indicated that they We're fully
impressed with the dignity and impor-
tance of their position, were alreadysea-
ted, apparently feasting their eyes upon
the beautiful production before them
the object of their decided preference.
This was none other than the prize ba-
by, Miss Juno Hereulesn. My firstim-
preston, as glanced at the little white
headed, pug. nosed muslin -draped young
ster, whose superior strength required
the constant watchfClness of her father
nurse lest it should master him--was,
that il resembled petted poodle, requir-
ing all the gen us and strength one could
muster to keep it down. Her eyes we're
blue, large and staring-her mouth wide
and open 10 its full capacity, giving fair
play to what evidently seemed TO be
pair of muscular lungs. She amused
herself by giving effectual force to sun
dry strokes at her fathers face-pulling
his whiskers and vociferating volume
ofsound not inaudible to the most dis
tant and spell-bound spectator. Her af'
fectionate nurse, though inwardly vexed,
looked blandIy for his darling lOsS a rare
gem
The one pronounced "second best"
was Master Myrtle, delicate, beautiful
little boy, whose face and figure denied
the charge. He had mild, blue eyes, a
small and finely chiseled nose and mouth
and was 'fsr as any lily" He was do
cile and affectionate. with voice as
sweet as the tones of a wind-harp.
Having satisfied myself with these,
l was prepared to glance at the twins,
triplets, quaterns, ETC., all the females
of which were preferred for their fire,
flesh and fury; and the males for their
beauty, gentleness and purity The
whole formed wonderful, and in its
tout ensemble, truly formidable gall
axy. So thought, and 50 thought
the poor fathers, upon whom devolyed
the sole care Of their remarkable chill
dren.
/ thought it wonderful and most for
tunato for the poor fellows, that none
of their infantile competitors were un-
der twelve months, as it would certain
ly have been most uncomfortable for
all concerned.
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