Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1855-11-30

| NC ohOl'; uut IL - III your power " pTOlOng
my frail and precious existence. lam like
those plants that cannot bear constant expo
sure to sun or rain. My feet are delicate
let them not be fatigued in following you
| If YOU would not see the brilliancy of nv
complexion furnished, neither expose it to
the burning rays of the sun, nor let it grow
pale in the constant shadow. Beware that
no remorse poison the bitter regret which
you will feel at my departure. Let my re-
membrance be sweet, that soft twilight
may continue to brighten the life which
have ceased to enlighten and warm"
At these words She inclined her sunny
head toward me, like guardian angel ben
ding over a cradle, and | felt her soft lips
upon my brow. | extended my arms to
seize her but she had vanished like shadow
was not yet thirty when she appeared
to me second time, 1t was, | remembe.
an evening in November l had left the
city and was wandering across the fields,
sombrc and oppressed, without knowing
why. | had been thus for some time. !
sought solitude yet did not enjoy it. =
The sky was low and dark; wild wind
striped the yellow leaves from the trees;
the barking of dogs at distant farmhouse,
and blue thread of smoke rising amid the
leafeless trees were the only signs of life; a
| few frightened birds flew from. branch to
branch black ravens descended into the
plains; and focks of cranes filed slowly
in the gray air of the evening
My soul sympathized with the mourning
of nature. l seated myself at the foot Of
leatless bush, prey to cold melancholy
which for some time had oppressed me-
While was thus seated, two old women
passed by with slow steps, bending under a
fagot of thorns, which they were bearing
to their novels in the preparation for the
storms of winter.
Strange coincidenceI 1t was in this
very place, at this very hour, that 1 once
saw pass, on an evening in May, troup Of
young girls singing hand in hand. l was
sixteen years old, and the bush was in bios
som. hid my head in my hands and sad
ly passed over in my mind the days that
had elapsed since then. f
When arose, l saw at short distance a
pale figure looking mournfully at me. She
was so changed that hardly knew her
There was no longer that luminous atmos-
phere which enveloped her at her first ap-
perance. A ragged robe concealed her fig
urc, her feet were bloody, her arms hung
lifeless at her side, there was black circle
about her eyes, and tears had traced their
furrows upon her pale cheeks She bent
towards the earth, as if hardly able to sus-
tain herself
"What do you wish of me-" l deman-
ded. rar
my friend the hour has come for us to
part, Before quitting you forever, wish
to bid you adieu," she murmered. in voice
Plaintive as the Winter wind.
"Go! gop cried ''deceitful Fairy; what
have you ever done for me? Where are
the blessings which you promised? Where
the treasures which you were to scatter in
in my path? l have had only poverty
Where is the diadem which you were to
place on my brow? l have had only a
crown of thorns. Where is the brilliant re-
tinue which was to accompany me! Ny
only escort has been solitude and despair"
'.My friend you are ungrateful, like the
rest of your bretheren. You accuse me,
and I pity you. l have kept all my prom
ises but you have disdained the treasures
which l lavished upon you, For ritinue,
l have given you love, trust, hope, illusion.
Your poverty have made so cheerful that
that the powerful and rich would gladly
have exchanged for it their palaces and
wealth. l have peopled your solitude with
enchanting dreams. 1 have made even
grief pleasure. have intoxicated you
with tears such as the greatest misfortune
will never again cause you to shed. When
ever you went, l excited for you sympathy
and kindness: you met only friendly looks
and brotherly hands; heaven smiled upon
you and the earth blossomed under your
foot steps. And now, answer in your turn.
What use have you made of my gifts p
Have you kept my treasures! What have
you left of all the blessings which l have
scattered upon your path! If you have
not known how to enjoy them, is it who
should be accused? If you have not kept
them is it l who should be blamed?"
1 felt a veil fall from my eyes and 1 ex-
claimed: "Remain! ali! remain! restore
to me the blessings which have lost: give
me one hour of love, and, whoever you are,
l will bless you with my dying breath"
"Alas| she replied, at is who must die
Do you not see it2 Look at me; l have
suffered much; 1 am only the shadow of
myself; an unknown disease dries up the
sources of life; the blood does not reach
my heart; touch my hands, and you will
feel the cold dew of death. Yet if you
wished it, you might have pronloged my
days. 1t is you who have killed me before
the time. have worn out my strength in
following you. Vainly l askedfor rest, you
cried on! on and 1 have gone on exhaus-
ted, painting, tearing my robe against the
brambles of the road, burning my brow in
the mid day sun. 1t was in vain that, in
meeting some quiet retreat, some shady
oasis, said: Here is happiness, my friend,
let us rest here:' you continued your excited
course, and dragging me pitilessly over the
burning sands. 1t is all over now, my
friend. l can do no more my blood stops;
my sight becomes dim; my limbs fail under
me. Open your arms to press me to your
bosom; there | received life; it is there /