Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1855-09-13
Yrll, 45usts + 5rissbts


GTEat sFaringly and defy the physician.
u A handful or ihd,her-wit is worth q
bushel Of learning.
rrFlowers that are always falling o&.4
Bachelors buttons.
BOoes man Mel girlish when he makes
a "maiden Speech2"
GTAs the cackling OF thorns under pot, Sd
is The laughter of q fool.
TITO wEat color does floggng change
boy? 1t makes him yell.O!
aTMoney is defined 10 be composition fof
toking stains out Of character.
QTReal friends are like ghosts and appai-
dT "John, what is gentleman 7" "Stub.
toe boots, long tailed coat, and a high shirt
collar, SIR"
dJ'"Pray dont mention It." as the man said
when he was told by the tax collector that his
rates were due.
U:The fellow Who got drunk on the horn
OF Gelemma, has been turned out Of the Tenn
perance society.
0~xFw really can't express my thanks" as
the boy said 10 SchooltnaSter when he gave
him thraShing.
UA chord Of love rlhs through all the
sounds OF creation, but the ear Of love nlone
can distinguish it,
GPThe passion OF love is no more 10 be un-
ders ssf by some teinpers, than problem in
science by an ignorant man.
NJ Three things it is unwise to boast Of
The favor of thy ale, the beauty Of thy wife,
and the contents Of thy purse.
GTOn child being told. The othe. day, that
he must Re broken of bad habit. he repliedI d
"Papa, hadn't better be mended ?"
uTSocraies seeing scodng wife who had
hung herself ON an olive Tree, exclaimed: 'oh!
that all trees would bear such fruitv
GTMen are generally missed when they are
married. The exceptions ale widows, and
when you don't leave town on wedding trips
SLENcE.-Silence alone is a powerful wea-
pom. An Arabic proverb says: "Silence is
often an answer" Yes, and an eloquent
one.
OTItis said that there are more lies told il
the brief sentence, '1 am glad to see you,"
than in any other sentence in the english lanS
guage.
A Coon INvEsrMENT.-A benevolent old
gentleman used 10 give wood away 10 the poor
by the cord in order as he said, ID have il re-
corded above.
QTMts. Lucy Stone Blackwell The woman's
rights lecturer, has purchased fine farm on
Fox river, short distance above cedar rapids,
in W jsconsin.
| A.. Ill -, - II
, you ever sat down 10 lea where there was
skim milk on the table without being asked,
"Do you take cream ?"
AN ADvERTIsEMrNr.-Lost where the own.
er don't know where, an empty linen sack
with cheese in it; The letters Pat Mullins, is
marked on it, but it is not legble.
u The following notice, says the Salem
, Gazette, mcy be seen in blacksmith's shop,
in the town Of Essex: "No Hoses Shod Oh
Sunday except sickness and deth."
MA bachelor advertised for helrmate, one
$ who would prove ga companion foI his hand,
his heart and his lot" fair one replying,
asked very earnestly, "How big is your lot!"
nj Suspicious tailor 10 suspected customer,
T "Mske you coat sir? Oh, yes, sir, with the
n greatest OF pleasure. There, just stand in
D lHdl pOSIluIJ plcuSC' louh kub utiOn IHut
[ sign" Sign reads "Terms Cash"
MA country sculptor was ordered to en-.
grave on tombstone, the following words -
"a virtUous woman is crown TO her lus-
band" The stone being small he engraved il:
"a virtuous woman is 5s 10 her husband"
GTA farmer in southwestern Ohio being
asked if, the rain had done them any damage
40 yes, the ears OF corn are so long ana
heavy that they reach entirely across the rows
and very much impede the locomotion in The
= fields" The countryis m dreadful con1i-
!, ton.
y MA witty gentleman. speaking OF friend
d who was prosirated by illness, remarked that
: che could hardly recover, since his constltu
ton was all gone" "if his constitution is
D all gone" said by-stanGer, "I do not see
j how he lives at ALL" "Oh," responded the
{ wag, che lives on the bylaws"
r uyFour lines more beautiful than these are
y rarely written. The figure which theyiuvolve
is exquisite:
:. solemn murmur in the soul
: Tells Of the world tc be,
- As travellers hear the billows roll
&! Before they reach the sea- .
b A CHrLD's IDEA OF MEAsLEs.-Little Ellen
[, -, Cnlu n'e years VI ageS anu INC Only
y one in the family who had escaped an attack
e OF the measles. on being asked the other day
e how it happened that she had not had them
promptly replied that it must have been be-
cause there ioas not enough TO go round ~
a GtTA young fellow was talking politics with
is Ia young ltdy whom he adored. Her name was
,e Mary, and she sympathized with the Know
: Nothngs. "Oh p' said she. in deprecatint
NJ tone, Il see you are not Know Nothing."-
!, Oh, no, of course not" said he, chow could
,o | be, when worship the Virgin Mary ~
Il. THE BlBLE.--The following is from the per
OF Sir Walter Scott:
60 within this awful volume lies
- The mystery Of mysteries;
~ y, All, happiest they Of human race
To whom our God has given the grace
le To read, to heed, to hope, to pray,
le To lift the latch and force the way:
~ But better they had ne er been born
Who read to doubt, or read TO scorn.''
A CHrLD's ANSWER. AT the Sabbath school
in OF one Of the churches in this village, teach
10 er OF one Of the SIN ller classes was caiechi
is sing her pupils last Sunday on the Scriptures
annon1 nuasii0nS eLad NJ a-n