Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1855-09-15
VOLUME III. No. 49.
PULLING THE WRONG BEIL

/ EcLLiNu lhh NRONG BILL.
hne western steamer Of the largest class
was blowing her way down stream with a ..full
neaa ON The lime was early morning; the
sun had not yet couled his ferv beams in the mur.
wafer: OF the Mississippi; few of the passengers
were astir, and the boat. Quiet and s,;II e.
The regular scream from her iron throat ,vos
making fine headway. Suddenly the eng;n,.sr's
bell rang out furious and alarmin, suo,rnon.
whi'h being translated into the yernsenIsr
meant SLOW her" The man at the stresr,
obeyed the mandate, aud with his hand mon
lever awaited anxiously the next call.
IL soon came, and louder yet, "Stop herIn
Some trouble ahead" thought the engineer:
but hardly had the idea passed through his
mind when the busy bell again pealed forth
Back her !"
Steam was let on in an instant. and se;zino
the lever the man commenced working tbe
engine by hand; but the wheel had not vet
completed the first retrograde revolution, when
n louder naturalization tnkled out success
sivcly--
$50 ahead
'Sow her p
"Back her!''
&c ahead p
Having obeyed the command, and suppos;no
all was right at last, the man Quilted his post
for a moment and stepped out upon the guards
to see what the trouble had been, when suddenly
the cyer'busy bell again was heard:
"Slow her !''
Before he could put his hands upon the screw,
the bell again ordered
Stop her !''immediatey after, "Back her!'
and $50 headl'
Instead of going ahead, the engineer scratched
his own' and then applying his mouth to the
speaking'lube, addressed the pilot thus-but
stop let us turn for a moment to the pilot. and
see what was gong on in his dominions
Tins gentleman had been but few minutes
at his post, and was not fairly awake when the
bell commenced its mysterious operations; but
sleepy as he was, thc queer antics of the boat.
and the strange language of the steam pipe,
excited his attention, and he had arrived at
the conclusion that something was wrong, at
the same moment that Identical idea had forced
Itself upon the engineer; so applying his mouth
at the end of the tube, the following remarks
went up and down simultaneously:
what IN thunder are you about up there?"
'What IN thunder are you about down tbcre?'
Having like two vessels about commencing
an engagement, fired their shots across their
bows, the twain went Immediately into action
as follows:
Pilot Who told you to "stop here" and
''back her %
Englneer-You ou must be nice fellow to trust.
Mr., Kettles" to get drunk before sunrise.
Call your mate and turn in.
Engineer-Drunk! drunk yourself haven't
had drop: and you're lying drunk. that's what
it is.
Piot-Look here, cold Kettles" hold on a
bit and I'll be down on you like thousand Of
brick.
Eaglneer-Don't trouble yourself to come
down III be up to you in three shakes, and then
we'll see who's drunk and who is not
Now this backing and filling had excited the
attention OF officers and crew, and as the pilot
and engineer having obtained relief met half
way down On the "bolerdeck, captain and
clerk, mate and steward, barkeeper and cham
bermald, all FASTENED to the post of ofobservaton,
and ere the two combatants could join issue they
were seized and held, and an investigation of
the affair was entered into.
While all this was in progress neither boat
nor bell had been touched, but the same singu-
lar succession OF order was going on, and the
two assistants, above and below, were meditating
little affair of their own when that of the
principals had been settled.
The mystery was apparently past solution,
but the captain bethought him Of possible
cause: and stepping to state-room in the "socia
ha'l' kicked the door open, and there stood
Ianky young Tennessecan who had embarked
at Memphis the previous night very actively
Jerking at cord that ran through his room in
the further corner.
Selling him by the collar, the captain deman-
ded, What are you about ?'
"About - answered the Tennesseean, "whv.
don't you see I'm ringing for my boots ?''