Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1855-10-04
Happy as a Clam.

1
STABILITY of which cannot be questioned but
seldom do we meet with spirit so thoroughly
saturated with good nature that no disap-
pointmcht, no poverty, deprivation or com.
| binaion of adverse circumstances can break
| it down or overcome it's genality. But yes
terday morning a man made his appearance
before Justice Brennan who seemed to have
a perfect fIuntain of undluted cOntentment
! somewhere in his combination which no de-
pressing influences OF care or accident had
! bee able to exhaust or adulterate--a typo, a
barrel of jolliness without hoops on. He was
arrested ioi being intoxicated He gave his
name as Gettyphat Take, and sa' he was a
printer, and hailed from the Gem of Science
office. He is short man. Of beer cask fig
ure, aud face as rubicund as if he slept in Il
room with red curtains. His answers to the
questions of the authorities showed his CON-
te ntment under all shades of fortune. The
Justice being also in genial humor was in
clined to banter the disciple OF Ben. Frank
lin, and accordingly addressed h m as follows:
Judge Well, Mr.. Take, it snems you have
thrown aside the composing stick" and
gUne to getting drunk for a living Pm afraid
you're "bad case" and stand in need of "cor-
recting." think shall send you to "quod."
These technicaties. which were uttered
in a sort of you-see-1-know-your-tra1e-as-
wel-as-you-do-sir, seemed to give Mr.. Take
that assurance which printers seldom lack,
but of which the solemnities of police court
might temporarily have deprived him, and he
an VERDI
Prisoner--Well, at any rate, Tn glad
we've no ''ga eys" IN this country, or sup
pose you'd put me there, and swell loaded"
al that But bless you, sir, going to jail's
nothing; the last time | was there | tanned a
rat and learned him to chew tobacco besides
pipe--it's good deal better than setting
solid minion," more than three quarters
figure work." and getting only "price ard
"a half" for it. Lord bless you, Squire, I'd
"a great deal rather 60 to Jail ten days than
rot. I've 60, sick of work just now, and I'll
have a chence to get the bile off my stomach.
Judge-You seem to take it easy; how do
you propose to employ your mind this trip!
Prisoner-WeIl, Corporal, I'm undecided
1
"Bohrmian Girl practice standing on my
head. or undertake to acquire the elegant ac-
compiShment of balancing straws on my
nose; if could get cat I'd teach her to
play the fiddle, il thought the strings
wouldn't remind her unpleasantIy Of ntesti-
nal discords after her feline body had been
nine times slain
Judge--Mr. Take. you seem particularly
happy under the circumstance have you got
wife!
Prisoner--Not now Lieutenant. had
one, but she ran eff with bow-!egged cob
bier; was SO glad about it. that sent her
dresses and quit claim deed of her person,
which signed in capital letters; she lett me
one boy--bnt he was "foui copy," not biz
like me; bound him prentice to the type
sticking trade, but the first day he qulrreled
with the regular "deviI,' tipped over the
"bank," pulled "form" off the "impoSing
stone," and "pied" five "columns;" lie drop
ped the "shooting stick" into the "al gltol
PRESS" and in the evening he and another
( hopeful boy was caught rehearsing broa(
sword combat with couple OF "columr
rules" the "foreman" "battered" him witt
! the "malot." and when he got home to mi
he had "fancy head" if there ever was one
Clerk--Where is he nov!
Prisoner--He ran away with a circus, arr
the last | saw o. him he was in the middle o
a sawduSt ring trying to tie his legs in bov
knot round his neck; I've been jollier sinct
then than ever before.
i Judge--You seem to be always jolly.
Prisoner--So am; laughed when m
father turned me out of doors at eleven year
old; laughed when broke my arm, and mad
funny faces at the doctor while he was set
ting it; the happiest day | ever spent wa
one time when hadn't but one shirt and
pair of pants to put on, had spent ali m
money and went hungry forty hours.
never was really unhappy but once in m
life, and that was when | fell down stair
fractured my collar bone, and skinned m
leg SO badly couldn't gel down on m
, knees to thanb God hadn't broken IN
, neck.
The Judge reented and let NJ. Take g
and that rotuud individual lett the room try
, ing to whistle and sing at the same time, an
also dance an independent jig with each lie
, to different tune ~. Y. Tribune.