Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-08-09
Pulling the Wrong Bell.

have heard story of pulling, which, as
many of my readers may be ignorant of, and as
it is worthy of telling, also being myself in
gossipng mood, I will even out with it.
A fine western steamer, Of the largest class,
was plowing her way down stream with a
full head on.
The time was early morning; the sun had
not yet cooled his fiery beams in the murky
waters of the Mississippi; few of the passen-
gers were astir and The boat quiet and still,
save the regular scream from her iron throat,
was making fine headway.
Suddenly the engineers bell rang out fu-
rious and alarming summons, which, being
translated into the vernacular, meant Slow
herl'
The man at the steam obeyed the mandate,
and with his hand upon The lever, awaited anx-
iously the next call.
1t soon came, and louder yet, Stop her!'
Some trouble ahead thought the engi-
neer but hardly had the idea passed through
his mind, when the busy bell again pealed
torth,-
Back her =
Steam was let on in an instant, and seizno
the lever, the man commenced working the en-
gine by hand but the wheel had not yet COM
pleted the first retrosrade revolution, when a
louder naturalization tinkled out successive
ly-
Go ahead =
Slow her =
Back her y
Go ahead y
Having nheycl the command, and, suppo-
sing all was right at last. the man Quilted his
post for moment and stepped out upon the
guards to see wha; the trouble had been, when
suddenly the over-busy bell again was
heard
Slow her !
Before he could put his hands upon the
screw, the bell again ordered, Stop her -
Immediately after, Back herr and : Go
ahead =
Instead of going ahead, the engineer scratch
ed his own, and then applying his mouth to the
speaking-tube, addressed the piIo, ihus-but
stop, let US turn for a moment 10 the pilot, and
see what was going on in his domiuions.
This gentleman had been but a few nomenis
at his post, and was not fairly awake when the
bell commenced its mysterious operations, but
sleepy as he was, the queer antics of the boat,
and the strange language of the steam pipe,
excited his attention, and he had arrived at the
conclusion that something was wrong, at the
same moment that identical idea had forced it,
self upon the engineer So, applying his mouth
to his end of the tube, the following remarks
went up and down simultaneously
What in thunder are you about up there =
What in thunder are you about down
therei'
Having, like two vessels about commencing
an engagement, fired these shots across their
bows, the twain went Immediately into action
as follows:
Pilot-Who told you 10 stop her and back
her =
Engineer-Yo did what did you ring the
bell for twenty times!
Pilot-You must be nice fellow TO trust,
Mr.. Kettles to get drunk before sunrise
Call your mate and turn in.
Engineer-Drunk Drunk yourself-I
haven't had drop-and you re just lying drunk
that's what it is.
Pilot-Look here, old Kettles hold on
bit, and III be down on you like thousand of
brick.
Engineer-Don' trouble yourself to come
down. I'll be up 10 you in two shakes, and
then we'll see who's drunk, and who is not.
Now this backing and filling had excited the
attention of officers and crew ), and as the pilot
and engineer, having obtained relief, met half
way down on the boiler-deck,' captain and
clerk, mate and steward, barkeeper and cham
bermaid. all hastened to the pos. of observa-
tion, and ere the two comhatants could join is
sue, they were seized and held, and an investi-
CATION of the affair was entered intn. -
While all this was in progress, neither boat
nor bell had been touched, but the same singu-
lar succession of orders was going on, and the
two assistants, above and below, were medita-
ting little affair of their own, when that of
their principals had been satisfactorily conclu-
ded.
The mystery was apparently past solution,
but the captain bethought him Of possible
cause, and stepping to state-room, in the so
ciaI hall, kicked the door open, and there stood
lanky young Tennesseean who had embarked
at Memphis the previous night, very actively
jerking at cord that ran through his room in
the further corner