Squatter sovereign., 1855-04-10

to get his opera of 1.-THE Bohemian Girl
before the public, telling who had the black
est eye when President Pierce and Joan
of Arc fought their celebrated prize fight
in the Crystal Palace in New York in
1793-and at last, breaking down in try
ing to explain why Admiral Elihu Burritt,
and his right hand man Xerxes the Great,
did not succeed in taking Sebastopol in e
month, according to contract.
When bid her .sgood might" she took
my hand and set me crazy by the touch of
her fairy, taper fingers-dreamed all night
about '.Calanthe," and said "my darlin" to
him as he handed me my coffee gave my
tailor an order for new coat and two
pairs of pan.aloons, and told him to change
them to 'sCalanthe"- a box of cigars
and a demijohn of Scotch whisky, and sign
ed the drayman's receipt "Calanthe"
the signs read "Calanthe" street
was "Calanthe" street-all the stages be-
longed to the "Calanthe" line, and were
going to "Calanthe" ferry-the ship "Cal-
anthe" had arrived, the steamboat "Calan-
the had burst her boiler, ,and the brig "Cal-
anthe" had been seen bottom upward with
her rudder gone. l saw, heard, read,
dreamed, thought, and talked nothing but
s'Calanthe," and cannibal that am, yer-
lily believe / eat nothing but ''Calanthe"
for month.
The day after / saw her first l felt so
exceedingly amiable that bought some
thing Of every pedlar who came into the
store---laid in stock of matches, pencils,
shoe brushes, suspenders, boot jacks, and
backing, which will last me short life
time-boughs so much candy that the of
fice-boy had the collie every afternoon for
week-called the apple-woman "my own
sweet love-" and said ''thank you darling"
when she gave me pewter dimes in change.
Wrote spasmodic poetry about Calanthe's
hair-a sonnet to her glossy hair-lines to
her raven tresses-yerses to her locks Of
jet--odes to her ebon ringlets-stanzas to
hair, and commenced poem in II cam
tos, to her ebony topped head, but on re-
Election / was led TO doubt the propriety Of
the comparison. called to see her every
evening-substantia yictuals didn't agree
with me-a kind word from her was
good breakfast-a tender glance has serv-
ed me for dinner many time, and when
she pressed my hand l couldn't eat any,
thing for a fortnight but oranges, cream
candy, and vanilla beans. We went to
the theatre, endured the negro minstrels
and braved the horrors of second-rate
Italian opera Company-in fact, every
where, where there was anything to be
seen or heard, there were Calanthe Ma
ria and her devoted Philander.
For month forgot my debt, neglected
business, ignored entirely this mundane
sphere, and lived in a rainbow colored
erial castle, of the most elegant finish
surrounded by roses, attended by cupids,
and just big enough for Calanthe Maria.
and the subscriber. In that happy place
there were no duns, no tailor's bills, no
debts, no getting up early cold mornings,
no tight boots, no bad cigars: nothing but
love, luxury, and Calanthe Maria. came
down occasionally out of my airy mansion,
to speak few words of compassion to my
companions in the Office, who hadn't got
any Calanthe, but went right back again
as quick as could to that rose colored
dream-land where love and Calanthe were
s'boss and all hands,"
At last one fatal evening / was unde-
ceived. We were waltzing, and through
some clumsiness on my part, her hair
caught in gass fixture-some mysterious
and treacherous string broke, and those
glossy ringlets, the object of my alteration,
came off, leaving the head bald as brick
bat. Relating this scrape of the locks to
a friend, he informed me that the rest Of
her charms would not bear minute inspec-
ton, for she wore false teeth, and bought her
complexion at Phalon's; and that her grace
full form was the result of skillful COM
bination of cotton and whalebone. This
was too much. While / thought Calanthe
a woman, ] loved her, but the discovery
of the .fshy element excited prejudice
as a female. she had my affection, and l
contemplated matrimony-as land mer-
maid, ! had no desire to swindle Barnm
and become her proprietor.
Coming as ] did. from section of
country where they have human women,
and where they dont't attempt TO deceive
masculine mankind with French millinerie
strategy, I was unprepared for eounterfeits
and had been easily deluded by spurious
article. But ! find that IN New York,
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