Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1855-12-19
A WITTY PREACHER.

a more cordial adherence than an exhi-
bitiOn of dandyism in young minister,
and nothing of this kind ever came in
contact with him without meeting a re-
buke. On one occasion, a young minis
lister of a good deal of pretensions and
parade went from the country to London
and carried Mr. Wilkes letter designed
to procure for him an invitation to preach.
"Well, young man." said Mathew,
with nasal twang that is perfectly in
describable, but which nobody who has
once heard, can ever forget, "well,
young man, you want to preach in Lon.
don, don't you?''
81 am going to pass few days here,
sir, and if it should suit Mr.. Wilkes con-
venience, 1 should be very happy. in
deed, TO give his people sermon while
l am here"
"Well," replied Mathew, "you can
preach-yOu can preach come along
next Wednesday morning to the Taber-
nacle, and I'll meet you there, and you
can take my lecture for that morning.
The young man agreed to do so, and
was on the ground at the appointed hour
Mathew met him at the door, disguised
as he had been with his dandy airs, and
addressed him thus:
"Go along into the pulpit, J young man.
and will be below and look at you, and
shall hear every word you say"
The young preacher darted through
the aisle into the pulpit in a manner that
seemed better to beft ball room than
a place of worship. He performed the
Introductory services with an air of in
suferable self-complaceney, and in due
time opened the bible and read his text,
which was the last verse of the first chap
ter of John-"Hereafter ye shall see
Heaven open, and the angels of God as
cending and descending on the Son OF
Man." He had written his sermon and
committed it all to memory. as he sup
posed, to a word; but unfortunately he
Rad left his manuscript behind. When
he had read his text he found it impossi-
ble to remember his first sentence. He
hesitated and hemmed, and began thus:
You perceive, my brethren-yOu
perceive--that the angels of God are here
represented as ascending-and descen-
ding" He then set up good stout
cough, in the hopes that his memory
might get to work in the meantime, but
the cough was as unproductive as it was
artificial, and he could do nothing but 90
over again the absurd sentence which he
had started. He coughed again and
again, but his memory was in too pro-
found slumber to be awakened by it.
After three or four minutes, during which
he was spectacle to the congregation,
and especially to Mathew, who was all
ills time watching and listening, accord
ing to his promise, he shut his bible in
perfect CONSERVATION, and abruptly clos
ed the sermon. Of course he came out
of the pulpit with a very different air
from that which he had entered it. But
the worst was to come-he had to meet
Mathew and hear his scathing comments.
"Well, WELL" said he. ..'young man,
you've preached--you've preached in
London, haint you? I've heard you; 1
have heard every word that you've said,
and have only one comment to make;
if you had assembled as you descended,
then you might have descended as you
ascended."
1t is needless 10 say that the young
man was completely cured of his ambi-
tion to preach in the Tabernacle
Another young minister of similar cha
racter paid him visit, and Mathew per-
ceived that he sported what he consider
ed very indecent number of watch seals.
He eyed them for some time as if he was
scrulinizipg the material of which they
were made, and then said with terribly
-,ro,ssie oir.
al seems to me you have got good
many seals to your ministry, considering
how young you are"
He was once preaching on some public
occasion, when there were not less than
fifty persons in the congregation taking
notes of his sermon. At length he stop
ped suddenly for moment, and the Sic
nographers, having nothing to do, all
looked up and were gazing at him with
astonishment.
"Behold, said he, 81 have confound-
ed the scribes."
On one occasion, as he was on his way
to meeting of ministers, he got caught
in a shower in the place Billingsgate,
where there was large number of wo-
men dealing in ish, who were using most
profane and vulgar language. As he
stopped under a shed in the midst of
them, he felt called upon to give at least
a testimonial against their wickedness-
"Don't you think" said he, speaking
with the greatest degree of deliberatiOn
and solemnity, "don't you think that /