The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-08-08

J 1890
cia youth lately arrived at the capitol, on
way to visit an uncle at Versailles from who
he had expectations. A frieF1d, looking at hir
said, "Why, you are not Ching to propitlate
rich uncle in that coat? "Why not?'' asked tt
amazed youth Because they do things diffe
entity now days! Take thiI address of a tailo
and 90 and ask him for the article you want
The rural customer did as directed f
handed in the card of addrdss--was passed c
to head clerk to be surveyed
the third story. fourth department, Of an in
mense establishment, and there requested
place himself between two mirrors. A coz
was about being handed to h&m, however, whe
the clerk suddenly stopped zone moment,
said he, can important particular has been omit
ted in the statement Of yourjproposed business
is it a maternal or a paternaf uncle you are go
ing to see?" Having explained to he.embar
raised clerk that it was his uncle on his mother
side, another coat was substituted for the on
first selected, and the relieved custome
walked forth to the street, suited with coat tt
make him agreeable to his maternal uncle.
"Will you oblige me with a light, STRIP
"Certainly, with the greatest pleasure say
the stranger, knocking off the ashes with his ittl.
finger, and presenting the red end Of the cigal
with graceful bow Smit} commences fun
bling in his coat pocket, takes out his hand
kerchef; shakes it; feels in His vest with DIES
perate energy; looks blank. ''Well! | do de-
clare, haven't got one, true as the world
Have you another, you could spare?" Ger
tainly, (says the stranger, with smile, and
I beg you will accept it.' There is puff,
putting till the fresh cigar ignites, when they
separate with a sauve bow and wave of the
hand. Smith chucks his friend, who was near
splitting with laughter, under the ribs, with
"There! didn't | tell you | would get it? That's
the way to get along in the. world Nothing
like cool, polite impudence!'t We thought SO
too.
The gem of all others which encircle the
coronet of lady's character is unaffected pi-
ETY.. Nature may lavish much on her person,
the enchantment of the countenance, the grace
fulness of her mind or strength of her intellect,
yetherloveliness is uncrowned till pety throws
around the whole sweetness and power of her
charms. She then becomes unearthly in the
temper, unearthly in her desires and associa-
ton. The spell which bound her affections to
things below is broken, and she mounts on the
silent wings of her fancy andhope, to the habi
tation of God, where it will be her delight to
hold communion with the spirits that have been
ransomed from the thralldna of earth, and
wreathed with garland Of glory.
All things are engaged in writing their his
tory. The rolling rock leaves its scratches on
the mountain, the river its channels, the ami
nal its bones in the stratum, the fern and leaf
the modest cptaph in the coal The falling
drop makes its sepulchre ia the sand; not a
footstep upon the snow or ground but prints a
map Of its march. The air is full Of sounds
the sky Of tokens; the ground is all memoran
da and signatures, and every object is covered
over with hints which speak to the intelligent.
Social opinion is like sharpe knife. There
are foolish people who regard it only with
terror, and dare not touch or NEEDLE with it.
There are more foolish people, who, in rash
ness or defiance, seize by the blade, and get
cut and mangled for their pains. And there
are wise people who grasp it discreety and
boldly by the handle, and use it to carve out
their own purposes .%+
1t is curious fact that at parties, balls, or
wherever refreshmant table is spread, every
man seems to regard it as bis just duty to fill
himself to the very mouth with all the sdeli-
cacies of the season, and to accomplish it in
the least time possible, as if he were gun,
and anxious to ascertain his calibre, and find
out how quickly he could be loaded in case of
necessity. ..l ....... -..4
An exchange paper says, stranger IN Mex
leo is struck with the appearance of the MILL
ner shops, where twenty OF thirty stout men,
with moustaches, are employed in making mus
lin gowns, caps and artificial flowers. In many
of our American cities. stout men, with NOUS
taches, may be seen in dry goods and fancy
stores, measuring off silk muslin ribbons, ETC.
any week day. -
In the battle of Monmouth general Lee, who
commanded the advance Of the American ar
my, had beaten retreat, and met the intrepid
Washington marching to his support with the
whole line of the army. General Washington
with surprise, Immediately .accosted him with:
"What is the reason of this extraordinary
retreat?" .....
''sr,' replied Lee, "your troops will not
fight British grenadiers.''
General Washington Immediately retorted-I
'tSir, you never tried themH'
Pride is louder beggar than want, and a
great deal more saucy. When YOU have bought
one fine thing you must buy ten more, that all
may be of piece. But poor Dick says-"It
is easier to suppress the first desire than to
satisfy all that follow it." And it is truly fol-
~ 1hC poSi " eHS ise1I' az VIZ Al W
swell in order to equal the bull.
The Brunswick Maine Telegraph tells a
story of young widow down on the Kenne
bee, who said to an acquaintance who was con-
doing with her upon the recent death of her
spouse Il hope you'll excuse my not crying,
but the fact is, crying always makes my nose
bleed!'' ".H a
Speaking Of deminutive men who were
among the most eminent in the world, Sydney
Smith instanced his friend Jeffrey, and added
that there was another-nalae notgven-who
had mot body enough to soyer his mind de-
Gently with; his intellect was improperly ea-
posed
Mr. s., tailor, having clipped with Mrs. P.
the wife Of a barber, person wondered what
attractions she possessed to draw the tailor SO
powerfully towards her Surely said wag
present, lit is very easy to account for the juno
lion of the needle with the pole. .z..
Why did Job always sleep coldg Because |
he had miserable comforters ri