The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1855-05-23
Humorous.

/ 49, =.
of a given number of men some are re-.
quired to be holiey than the rest, you do
1 not, by SO doing,raise the standard of
holinessfof thu few, but lower it for the
nany.@Arn0ld
- E APFLIcrIoN John Newton used
to say eff man win make his nest here
below, God will put thorn in it; and if
that will not do, He will set it on ire.n
EEA Tyneside doctor was leotur-
ing poor tippler for shortening his days
with drink. With thu most charming
naivese he replied, "Why, I came from
NJ, whore twodoetors drank them
selves to death aadisure they'd never
took it if it had been bad for them"
- EE THE HIGHEsT PuRrx.--Bleas-
ed is the memory of those who have
kept themselves unspotted from the
world l-yet more blessed and more dear
the memory of those who have kept
themselves unspotted In the world -
Mrs. Jameson.
A Maine Law physicians pre-
scription on the city agency "West
India rum pint; aqua [waterl 5 drops"
EI Speaking of a deceased lawyer,
a gentleman remarked in company that
he left behind him very few effects -
"The reason, replied hstoner, lis be-
cause he had few causes !"
EE The little value Providence sets
on riches, is seen by persons on whom
they are generally bestowed.-I'attle
E "a Persian adage reads eff
knowledge were virtue, who would be
moro virtuous than the devil ?"
@ Occasionally we come acrcss an
advertisement worth pendering over
Here is Zone of ,em ::''-"The subscri-
Der is open to contract for the washing
of few respectable families in a supo-
rior manner and reasonable terms
Great attention paid to ladies. Ad-
dress, &c.''5 a7 Gs@
EE-"Asa" was the first man who
ever had the gout, and the consequences
of his manner of treating It is thus rela-
ted in the first book of Kings. CHOW
Asa, the King, was diseased in his feet,
but instead of applying to the Lord, he :
applied unto the physicians, therefore
the Lord slew him."
EEA person meeting an old man
with silver hairs, and very black,
b1shy beard, aaked him show it happen
ed that his beard was not so gray as the
hair of his head ?" "Because," said the
old gentleman, ''it is tsoenty gears
yoatnger !"
~ A Jerseyman was very sick, and
not expected to recover. His friends
gathered around his bed, and one Of
them says -
"John, do you feel wiling to die ?'
John made an effort to give his views,
on the subject, and answered, with his.
feeble voice I; - .s
"I-think-I'd rather Stay-WheFe I
acquainted"
E1 Never expect others to keep for
you a secret which you could tot keep
yourself ~, as
We send to the heather mis-
sionaries and Bibles on the deck, but.
yunpowder, rum, andscass iron guns in.
the hold. rssuBs
The true secret of instruction.
lies in provoking to thought stimu-
ating to Investigation, and not in pre-.
,aring mind for usefulness, as goose
s prepared for the table-dy stufIng.
EEThe world seems to the old to.
ave gone backward, because they have
zone forward aF assa
The ardent reformer moves the.
multitude, but the calm philosopher
moves the ardent reformsr
A passenger, on one of our rail-
Dads, the ether day, when aocosted for
he amount of his fare, replied that he
ad nothing with him except one large
i'll, which he feared the conductor
'ould be unable to change. The latter,
linking from the mans general appear
nee, that he could not be very flush,
eplied that change would be given for
ny bill he could produce-whereupol
ne suspicius-looking customer handed
ut an enormous show-bill. The CON.
uctor, as in daty bound, presented him
check, and affeetionately enjoinsd him
, guard against all personal injury du.
ing the trip. , 80
The subjoined advertisement is
aken from an Irish newspaper:
& Missing from Killarney, Jane o.
'ogarty.; she had IN her arms two ba-
les and a Guernsey COW, all black,
it'll red hair and tort6iss-shell combs
ehind her ears,e and large spots all
own her back, which squints awfuily."
ga lady wished seat. A port
:, handsome gentleman brought one
nd seated the laay." oh, you're .
,wcl, y said she. np6, no, )" replied he,
I'm jeweller; I have just set ths
,wel.n
EHow many grains Of corn doe