Litchfield enquirer., 1855-02-15
MiseellaNy.
MODERN DICTIONARY.

Public Abuse-The mud with which ev. .ery traveller is spattered on his road to dis tincton. Distant relations-People who imagine they have claim to rob you if you are rich, and to insult yon if you are poor.
 Belle-A beautiful, but useless insect without wings, whose colors fade on being removed from the sunshine.
 Heart-A rare article, sometimes found in human beings. It is soon, however, de- stroyed by commerce with the world, or else becomes fatal to its possessor.
 wifery--An ancient art, said to have been fashionable among young girls and wives; now entirely out of use, or prac. ,iced only by the lower orders.
 Wealth-The most respectable quality of man.
 Virtue-An awkward habit of acting diff feren,ly from other people. Avulgar word. 1t creates great mirth in fashionable circles. Honor-Shooting friend through the head whom you love, in order to gain the praise of few others whom you despise. Laughter-An agreeable and contagious convulsion cf the human countenance on re- ceiying a tailor's bill, or being asked 10 re- turn an umbrella.
 Managers of lotteries-Men who pay the Legislature handsomely for the privilege of cheating the people.
 Law Proccedings-Unbrushed cobwebs of the dark ages.
 Cigar-A slender, yellow speckled tube, formed of the dried and folded leaves of q wonderful plant, discovered by Raleigh.- When women turn false, and men selfsh- when your creditor duns you like fend, and your debtor takes the act--when the future looks dark, and the present dreary, by the fragrance of this little instrument, extracted by means of fire, you are for a brief period rendered insensible 10 every sorrow, and lulled into dreams more enter taini"g than those of sleep.
 Satirical foems--Harmless impertinence in verse.
 Marriage-The gateway through Which the lover leaves his enchanted region and re- turns to earth.
 Death-Ani ill.bred fellow who visits peo- pie at all seasons, and insists upon their im- mediately returning his call.
 Fricnd-A person who will not assist you because he knows your love will excuse him.
 Welded Bliss-A term used by Milton. Bargain-A ludicrous transaction, which each party thinks he has cheated the other Dee.or--A man who kills you to-day to save you from dying tomorrow.
 Luna,ic Asylum-A kind of hospital where detected lunatics are sent hy those who have had the adroi,ness to conceal their own in6rmity.
 Tragedian-A fellow with lin pc. on his head, who stalks about the stage, and gets into violent passion for so much night.
 Cri,ic-A large dog that goes unclaimed and barks at everything he does not com. prehend.
 Esqaire-Everybody. ye. nobody; equal to Colonel.
 Jury-Twelve prisoners in box to try one or more at the bar.
 Young Attorney-A useless member oi society, who often goes where he has nc business to be, because he has no business where he ought to be.
 States Evidence-A wretch who is par doned for being faster than his comrades.
 Political Honesty Previous lexicograph ere have not noticed thissword, treating i altogether as fabulous-for definition, uid: selfin,erest.
 The Grave-An ugly hole in the ground which lovers and poets wish they were in but take uncommon pains to keep out of.
 Modesty-A beautiful flower that -four ishes only in secre, places.
 Sensibiii,y--A quality by which its pos sessor in attempting to promote the happi ness of other people loses its own.
 Aman of Talen,s--Animpertinent scoun drel who thrusts himself forward a write of execrable poetry person w,,hou, mo des,y; noisy fellow; speech maker.
 Lawyer-A learned gentleman. who res cues your estate from your enemy and keep ishi,nself.
 My Dear-An expression used by ma and wife at the commencement Of qaarre
 An M. P.--A man employed by the col poration to sleep in the open air.
 Office of Street Inspector--A sinecure.
 Honcsty-An exceliant joke. 2 Dentist-A person who finds work for hi own teeth by taking ou, those of other pee pie. @
 feaT--The shadow of hope.
 Tongue-A litiie horse which is ccntinu slly running away.