The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1855-03-28
VRriatIas.

Tho other day the conductor Of a train
90 oar railroad discovered an Iri-hman
10 car soon after starting from Rome.
and demanded hi, fars. Pat declared
DO had no money. The conductor. after
leoturipg him, told him to leave at tho
FIRST station Dotfar distant According.
~ Pat was one Of the first to get off at
'he next station. Blu, Judge of the con-
dnctor's surprise and wrath to find bim a.
board when fairly undor way. Did |
not tell you to get Off And sure.
did Why, then, are sou here again D
And suro, did you not say, All aboardP
Ihls was too much for the worthy con.
da0lor, and Notwithstanding the decree
against dead heads, he Was allowed to
pass - Watcyt0ien Journal.
Qaoth Patrick Of tho Yankee. ~ Had.
If he was cast away on q desolatc island
he'd get mp tho next morning. and 20
round selling mrps to tho inha u;tants."
Tho Windsor journal thinks that the
awkward piece Of machinery, the Coun.
ell OF Censors, must have been devised
by the man who snufred the candle with
his Fingers. and remarked, as be pnt the
burnt wick into the snuffers-. These
snutiers are handy things, amt thcy?"
Thirteen i'll matched couples were ii.
vorccd Mt the recent session of the Su.
preme Court at Woodstock. In nino Of
the thirteen cases, it was the womsn who
spilled for the dissolution Of the union.
lie FonGor SOMETHING -" What did
your mother say, my little mau did
you give her my card ?" asked IN mex.
perienced young gentleman Of little
boy whose mother had given him an in.
vitation to call upon her, and whose
street door was accordingly opened to
his uhtimely summons. By the urclin
aforesaid J Yes | give it to her twas
the Innocent reply} aud she said if you
wasn't na.'ral fool, you wouldn't come
Monday morning, when everybody was
.washin' p At this juncture, mamma.
with sweet smile of welcome, made her
appearance at the end of the hall when.
to her surprise, Mr.. Nerisopht, the Wis.
itor-bolted What does the man
meant" (enquires mamma) Il dunno :"
treplie' bub) guess he's forgot sathin.'
Moaesty is handsome dish cover
which makes Us fancy there must be
something very good beneath it.
"rm glad that this coffee don, owe
nae any thing" said Brown.
Why p said Smith.
Because don't think it would ever
settle
lie tia. has once done you a Kindness
will lie more ready to do you another,
ihan be, whom you yourself have obliged.
A cobbler in Mobile, who also profess
ell to teach music, has the following sign
over tho door:
Delightful task to mend The tender boot.
And teach the Young idea how 10 flute
Hans said D1tchman to his son.
when he bad just been thrashing for
swearing watts dat yon linking 20 wick.
ed about, in de corner defe p don't
link nott'n.' You lie you tink cot tam
ind now III yip you for dat
The Boston Atlas says that the new
Legislature of New Hampshire will be
one Of marked ability, and that it con.
,sins some Of the strongest men in the
State.
VIVA, monotonoas life does the fol-
lowing epitaph, from an English tomb.
stone, eyiDce.
Departed this life, my obedient wife,
With whom | lived without quarrel OF
strife
Thirty long years In marriage she spent,
Without calling oo me for single cent
Reason governs the wise man, and cud
gels the fool