The Trinity times., 1855-09-01
Sam -siieks Heayey Horse.

sam -sliek~ Hsayey Horse.
Here is Sam Sticks last, and one of his
very bost;
| shall never forget rise I once took
out OF o set of jockes at ALBANY. | had
an verlastin' fast Narraganset PAGER ono
at Slickville, | was considerable proud ol
m, do assure you, for he took the rag O.
the bush in great style. Well our stable
help' Fat Mologhan, chin used to call Mr..
Mologhan,) would stun him with fresh clio
yer without me knowing it. and, as sure as
rates, broke his wind in driving him toe
fast. 1t gave him the 'heaves.' that is. il
made his hanks heave like a blAcksmithis
bellows. We call it 'heaves,' Britlshers
call it broken wind Well, there is mo
cure for it, though some folks tell Won q
horuets nest, cut up line, and put in their
meal Will do it and Others say silt the oats
clean, AID give them juniper berries in It.
ana tnat will do it, or ground ginger. or
tar, or what not but these are ali ouacke-
ries. You can't cure 1t, for its rupture of
an alr-vessei, aud you ca4't get at it to sew
IL up. But you can iix it up by diet, and
cars, ana proper usage, so that you can de-
eeive even an old hand, providln' you don't
let MN ride or drive the beast too fast
4" We'll, ldoctored and worked with him
so, tAe most that could be perceived was u
siiBht eold, nothin' to mud, much less to
irishten you. And when | got hm up to
lhe notch, advertised him Tor sale, as be-
longing to person gong down East, who
only parted with Llm because he thought
MIN too heavey for man who never trav-
eled less than mile in two minutes and
twenty seconds. Well, be was sold ut auc-
ton and knocked down to Rip Van Dam,
the Attorney-General, for five hundr, d dol
larsj and the owner put saddle aud bgidls
o. b.. '-',s! "''a. :; T.. OF two hundred dol
lars with me ne could do m le in two min
utes and hlty seconds. He didn't know me
IRON Adam, personally at the time, but he
had heard OF me, and bought the horse be-
cause it was said Sam Slick owned him.
"Well, he started oil, aud lost his bet: for
when he got near the wlnnin' post the horse
choked, fell, and pitched the rider of half
TO Troy, and nearly died himself. The UNI
plre handed me the money and dug out Tor
the steamboat, intendin TO pull loot for
home. Just as reached the wharf, heard
my name called out but | didn't let on
noticed it, and walked ahead. Presently
Van Dam seized me by the shoulder, quite
out OF breath, pnllIn' and blowin' Ike a
porpoise.
- Mr.. Slick" said he.
"' Yes sais 1, what's left Of me; but,
good gracious, sails /, you Lave got the
heaves.' | hope it amt catchn'.
"' No haven't, said he, 'bt your cussed
hoss has, and nearly broke my neck. Yon
are like all the Connectic men ever see
nasty, mean, long-necked, long legged,
narrow-chested, slab-slded, narrow-souled,
ia1tcrnjewed Yankee cheat
"' Wen, sais /, that's considerable of
a long name to write on the back Of q let
ser, amt il? 1t amt good to use such
awad OF words. it's no wonder you have the
heaves but III cure you; warn't brought
up to wrangln' hain't time TO lght you,
and besides said |, you are broken
winded but III heaye you over the wharf
the only reason you had TO part Win that
horse was, that he was too heavy for man
who never travelled slower than a mile in
two minutes and twenty seconds?
a. Never sails |, Il never said such
word. What viii you bet dldP
60 Fifty dollars, said he.
4" Done said |. And Vanderbilt (he
WAS just going on board the steamer at the
time - Vanderbilt sais |, 'hold these
stakes, friend, sais | Il won't say you lie,
but you la!a uucommonly like the way do
when lie. Now prove it,
"And he pulled out one Of my printed
advertisements, and said, Read that
"Well, read it. 1t amt there said /.
"'Ain't it? said he. Il leave it to Van
darbilt.'
"'Mr. Slick cad he, you have lost-it
is here
"'Will you bet fifty dollars, said +,
though you have seen it, that it's thereP
80 Yes said be, 'lwll.'
90 Done sad |. Now how do you spell
heayyY
"'H-e-f-v-y,' said he,
80 Exactly, sais | ; so do !. But this is
epelt heag-ey / did it On purpose. Iscorn
to take man in about horse, so | pub
lished his d.f.ct to all the world. "a d he
was too hea0ty for harness, ald so he is.
lie amt worth fifty dollars. / wouldn't
take HIM Us a gLit-he amt worth UOn
dam
"'wcn, Id'd see that, ra,d he, but /
thought II was an error Of the pen, or that
tnc o}guor couldn't p H.
"tOhn sals /, doA't take me for one Of
your Dutch Doors, | beg Of you. ! can
spell, but you can't r. ad, thats all. GU
r. mind me, sals |, of tell-r Ia Sl.ckvill.,
when tine sx cent letter stamps came intO
fashion. IL LEX d the stamp 20 hard he
took all the gum Oh, and 4 would 4 stay
Oh, no how b. could tx il, 10 that " uat do b
be do but put a pa through At, AID writes
on the ilttgr, rad, II the dara, d thing
viii only etick' Now ii you 90 AID LEX
the stamp eternally that way, folks wlll put
a pin through II, aAd the story will stick 10
you forever AID ever. But come Oh board,
aud let's liquor, aud will stand treat
81 felt sorry Tor the poor cr,tter, aad told
him how to feed the horse, and advised hIa
to take nm to Saratoga, advertise him, AID
sell him the same way aud he DID, and got
rid Of him. The rise raised his character
as lawyer amazing. lie was elected
Governor next year"