Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1855-06-20


business, live on corn bread and baco
week days, and slippery elm bark and tao
poles on Sunday. come to Illinois. Ifvo
want to go where they have no Sunday
and nothing to eat, only what they bro
from the east, go to Iowa or if you wan
to 60 to grass, go on all fours, and do a
other cattle do, go to Salt Lake.
Third question:" Does the fever an,
ague prevail much in Wisconsin ?"
" course II does. Nobody out west i
fool enough to ask such question. Ev
erybody shakes. even the trees; you can
coax crab apple to stay on when it il
good for anything it will shake a mar
out of bed. kick him out of doors. anc
shake the bedstead at him until he give:
it up.
Fourth question: How long does a
pre- emption hold good ?"
That depends on circumstances. II
you have good rife and. know how to use
1t, you have one chance in ten that you
may live till you starve to death But if
you can't stand fire, and are not a good
shot and quick one, take my word for
1T, you had better tarry in Jerico until
your beard be grown; they are all too
smart for you up in that neck of woods
Fifth question" Is land to be had in
the northwest part of Ohio for l,25 per
acre. and is it good ?"
That's all fudge, got up by spectators
to gull some green horn like you and me,
for to the best of my knowledge and belief.
Ono, was worn out ten years ago. The
whole business of the railroads is to carry
back persons who have been fools enough
to come west. All the railroads are doing
this winter is carrying dirt into Ohio out
OF Michigan to raise few beans and oats
to keep the folks from starving to death
next summer.
As to the land in the north western part
of Ohio, 1t is eighteen inches under water
the most of the year, and will probably be
worth 81 % per acre, when water snakes
and copper heads bring as much per bar
rel in the New York market as potatoes
are worth per bushsl in Alton
And lastly he wants reliable informa
tion-a short article in your paper rela
ting to the subject--and he wants to go to
healthy location, decent land, and fair
water.
Exactly Why, me dear sir, there is
no such thing as reliable information out
west, unless you pay we'll for it. A law
yer won't tell the truth unless you give
him five hundred dollars, and then you
can't believe half he says
a witness won't tell the truth in court
unless you first scare him half to death
and make him sware he won't lie, and then
neither he nor anybody else knows wheth
er be tells the truth or not. The preach
ers all call Us an inyeterate set of sin,
ners, but from what | have written you
must know we are pretty good sort of peo-
pie
If you ask miss of stout, bloomln g
sixteen for kiss. she pettishly says no.
when everybody knows she means yes, of
course.
On the whole, if you feel obliged by our
90 to a healthy land, stay at home, and
don't be fool, like myself, and come out
west. And, as for decent land, why, my
dear fellow, what do you mean2 You
must know that all our wild prairie is very
indecent, especially when it is burnt over
and left as naked as it was born. IT'S
true nature weavcs a sort of fig leaf apron
every summer out of a coarse klnd OF
grass, but it soon gets burnt off, and is as
indecent as ever
As for fair water, we have none, it is
all bilious compost of liquid mud, with
dead bufaloes and rotten rattlesnakes.
Our common drink when we can't get
WHISKY, is one third coffee, third prai
rie mnd and one third tobacco juice.
Upon the whole, if you have good wa
| ter, and can get enough to eat, stay where
you are.
Yours, truly,
PETER PMLMAKER.
?. S. jacksonville was formerly III
Wisconsin, but big freshet foated most
of the houses down twenty miles south Of
the Illinois river, and stuck them on @
high and dry ridge. We expect the nex'
rise in the river will take us down to Ole
| Kaintuck.
Tur Danny ANn HIS TrRKEy -Chie