Council Bluffs bugle. [volume] (City of Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1853-1857, 1855-07-10

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Sally Sly and Jane NICK can.
HUMOROUS REPORT on DUTrIR.

We copy the following from the Farmer.
Monthly Visitor There is a good moral
conveyed in it, told with rich vein of hui
NOR that is capital. 1t is from the pen of s
ID. Little, of the Nerrimac IN. H J Agreul-
tural Society.
The magniicience Of the Creator is man
ifested in so disposing our tastes and SO o.
dapting these as to make life scene of en-
joyment instead of burden. 1t might have
been that necessary food would have been
noisOme as it is sometimes to the diseased
stomach had it not have pleased the Creator
to have ordered it otherwise. Bread is the
staff Of life, but butter is given to make it
slip down easier, and with better relish.
But it depends something on who makes the
butter, whether it answers this purpose
Butter made in Joe Bunker. house, needs to
be eaten in the dark then to make it pass
we'll one or two other senses should be laid
aside-while that made by his brother JON
athan may be eaten in the full blaze of noon;
you would wish that your neck was as long
again, that you might have the pleasurable
sensation of swallowing prolonged. Per
haps a bit of history Of their better halves
will explain the whole matter.
Joe's wife was Sally Sly--when a small
girl she was sly-shc would not half wash
the milk pail, but sly it away and let it sour.
She was sly at school and did not half get
her lessons, but would have her book in sight
when reciting-but as she grew older she
learned that to get we'll married, she must
appear we'll, and so she bent all her cum
ming to get superficial education in every
thing, from roaiting potato to playing the
piano. Poor Joe fell in love with her, and
s'love has no eyes," so he married her. But
sosa after she entered on housek eeping, his
eyesight came, and he saw his fix, that it
was "for better or worse,n aud he thought
it was all for worse. Like true philoso-
pher, he concluded to endure what he could
not avoid or cure, and got along toieraby
we'll, oRly when be came to her butter, for
his mother was a real butter maker. Every
time he saw or tasted of Sallys butter he
felt the horrors. Her manner of making but
ter, is somewhat as follows: She thinks it
OF no consequence whether the milk pail is
sweet or sour--sets the milk in q warm room
because it is easier than to 90 into the cellar,
and if some dirt should blow into the pans
she thinks every man must ''eat peck Of
dirt" and in no place will it slip down cas-
ier than in butter ihe lets the cream pots
be open, and when churns forgets the poke;
leaves the cream at blood heat that it may
come quick. When she takes ii ont Of the
churn she picks out the bodies Of all flies and
spiders-the legs and wings are so small
they can be swallowed. She works out half
the buttermilk and sets it away in a warm
place for use Poor Joe has seen so much
Of this kind that he dee ares butter does not
agree with his health, and will not taste it.
Yet his wife wonders why he does not try it,
and marvels why he don't keep dairy, and
mako butter for tn. market.
Jonathan was younger brother of Joe's,
aud he had occasion to eat at his brother
enough to know why he did not eat butter;
and he declared he never would marry with
out kns wing what his. bread would be- hut
tered with. Following the bent Of his fan
cy he made several attempts at matrimony,
and Julia Jumper almost caught him-ior
there was always good butter on the table
for tea, but he was determined to know who
made it, On enquiry, she says; LA ne
mother makes the buttcr; take lessons on
the piano.
.'Well" says Jonathan, ~ want wife
that takes lessons On the churn--I shall
look further"
hitCI oCFCTdl uhSuCCCSoiui
Just ready to despair, he started in pursuit of
stray cattle before breakfast, and wandered
thrsxah the forest into the next town. and
weary and hungry, called at decent look
ing house and asked for some refreshments,
which were most cordially granted, for the
family were what are called Scotch Irish IN
religion Presbyterian, and in hospitality
.bounlless. -.g ss
Here he found the butter, exactly right ];
though the weather was not, the butter kept
It's shape as well % bees wax. He catechis-
ed the old lady about her housewifery, for
the bread was as right as the butter. The
cid lady said her health was feeble--she
could do but little, and Jenny had the whole
management. He made some nd-aboul
inquifies concerning Jenny and heard that
she Was hearty black eyed lass of about
two and twenty; had never seen piano or
attended ball, bst knew the assembly,
eatechisn, and could sing Old Hundred to a
charm, spin fax and darn stockings, and was
then gone 70 town with butter. He isgered,
but she was DELAYED, and when his excuses
were exhausted, he started He
could no. get the good butter out of has nind-
and how it happenedI know net sbut he
soon feand his way there gain, and the re-
suit of his adv entnre was he made wife Of
Jane Nc Kexn, and now one lump of his but
ter IL worth more than Joe's wife would
make IN month. There's no trouble ~ go