Weekly hawk-eye and telegraph. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1855-1857, 1855-10-31
A VERY Tough Story.

The following story is told by that re-
nowned wag, Job Phoenix, of the California
Pioneer. The reader will see that it record.
the verdict of scoroner's inquest and il
other particulars, bears strong resemblance
to some of the tough stories which our oppc.
nents have circulated against the republican
party in the States.
Dr. Iushmaker was never regularly breC
as physician or surgeon, but he possessed
naturally, strong mechanical genus, and 9
fine appetite; and finding his teeth of grea,
service in gratifying the latter propensity, he
concluded thai he could do more good in the
world, and create more real happiness there.
in, by putting the teeth of the inhabitants
in good order, than in any other way; so he
became dentist.
He was the man that first Invented the
method of placing cog-wheels in the back
teeth, for the more perfect mastication of
food; and he claimed to be the original dis
covercr Of that method of filling the cavi-
ties with kind of putty, which, becoming
hard directly, ciuses the tooth to ache so
grievously. that it has to be pulled, thereby
giving the dentist two successive fees for the
same job.
Tushmaker was one day seated in his Of
fee, in the city Of Boston, Massachusetts,,
when stout old fellow, named Byes, pre-
sented himself to have back tooth drawn.
The dentist seated his pa. lent in the chair
OF torture, and opening his mouth, discover
ed an enormous tooth, on the right hand side.
about as large as he afterwards expressed it.
'as a small Polyglot Dible.' shall have
trouble with this tooth, thought Tushmaker;
but he clappcd on his heaviest forccps and
pulled. 1t didn't come. Then he tried the
turnscrew, exerting his utmost strength, but
the tooth wouldn't STIR
go away from here,' SAID Tushmaker to
Byles, sand return in week, and | will
draw that tooth out, or know the reason
Why
Byles got up, c.apped handkerchief to his
jaw, and went forth.
The dentist went to work, and in three days
he invented m instrument, which he was
confident would pull anything. 1t was a
combination of the lever, pulley, wheel and
axle, inclined plane. wedge and screw. The
castings were made, and the machine put up
in the Office, over an iron chair, rendered per-
fectly stationary by iron rods going down
into the foundation of the building.
In a week old Byles returned; he was
clamped into the iron chair, the forceps con-
nccted with the machine attached firmly to
the tooth, and Tushmaker, stationing him
self in the rear, took hold Of a lever four feet
long.
lie turned it slightly-old Byles gave a
groan, and lifted his right leg. Another
turn, another groan, and higher went old
Byles' right leg.
"What do you raise your leg for?'' aske
the doctor.
Il can't help it?' said the patient.
sWell,' said Tushmaker, sthe tooth is
bound to come now
He turned the lever clear round, with a
sudden jerk, and snapped old Byles' head
clean and clear from his shoulders, leaving .
space of four inches between the several
parts!
They had a post nortem examination-the
roots of the tooth were found extending
down the right side, through the right leg,
and turned up in two prongs directly under
the sole Of the right foot.
sNo wonder?' said Tush., shat he raised
his leg
The jury thought so too, but they found
the roots much decaved, and FIVE surgeons
swearing that modification would have en-.
saed in few months, Tushmaker was clear.
ed on verdict of sjustifable homicide
He was a little shy of that instrument at
forwards; but one day an old lady; feeble and
placid, came in to have tooth drawn, and,
thinking it would come out very easy, Tush-
maker concluded by way of variety, to try
the machine,
He did SO; and at the first turn drew the
old lady's skeleton completely and entirely
from her body, leaving her u mass Of quiy-
ering jelly, in the char.
Tushmaker took her home in o pillow case
She lived seven years after that, and they
called her the India Rubber woman She
had suffered terribly with the rheumatism
but, after this occurrence, never had q pain
in her bones. The dentist kept them in q
glass case.
After this the machine was sold to tn,
contractor Of the Boston Custom house; and
it was found that child three years of age
could, BY single turn of the screw, raise .
stone weighing twenty Eve tons.
Smaller ones we're made on the same prin.
ciple, and sold to keepers of hotels and res.
taurants. They were adyantageously used
for boning turkeys.
There is no moral at all to this story, and
it Is possible the circumstances may have be.
come slightly exaggerated. OF course, ther,
can be no doubt of the truth of the main in.
cidents.
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