Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1855-05-17
PUNCH, DIOGENEs, AND PUNCHINELLo. ,.

PUNCH, DlOGENES, AMI FCNCH1NLLLO'
The large picture from Punch is cspitsl.
Mr.. Layard is represented as digging out the
British Bull from heap Of corone's, red
tape, bribery and corruption. John Boil, in
round ha, and top boots, is furnished with
the Assyrisn wings and other ''6xings" so
familiar in Layard's book sbon, Nineveh.
In Diopenes we see John Bull looking at
q show got up "regardless Of expense."-
Fifty thousand moving figures are snnounc-
ed. He gszes through the hole, and ex-
claims
Eager Spectator. "Bu' the figures don''
move ~
Snowman. ooh, i,'s all the same there's
only something wrong IN the machinery"
SURLY SENTIMENrs-by Professed
Old Grumbler No woman drinks beer of
her own accord; she is always "ordefed''
TO drink il!
Experience is q pocket compass that
fool never thinks Of consulting until he has
lost his way.
When man has the headache, and says
'l.'s the sslmon," you may safely conclude
he has been shrinking like 6sh.",
The moment friendship becomes tax, il
is singular, al every fresh call il makes, how
very few persons finds i! q, home!
"GENrLEMEN, MAKE YOUR GAME PA
hin, to Lord John.)-The Pienipoten,isries
who are talking away a, Vienna ere just
partie carree. We think i. would be much
better for them to finish the conference at
once by having rubber Of whist. Russia
might take Austria as q partner, land il
would not be the frs. time they have play
ed into each others hands, end SO play it
out against England end Frsnce. Which,
ever side scores the ''four points" first, wins
the game.
LITERARY lNTELL1GENcE.-An extract
from an Austrian paper says" :"Mount Olym.
pus smokes like a Volcano" We hear that
directly this became know in London, the
author Of "Proverbisl Philosophy" immedi-
slely quilted home with half-a. dozen empty
bottles and corks TO match.
A CoNTRADIcrIoN.-IfT Truth is 10 be
found in the bottle, how can she also live
at the bottom of q well For ourselves, We
mentar1y wrong IN rnTs.
DIRECT FROM THE SEAT OF WAR-Ths
last dispatches of Lord Raglan were nearly
sent back from the Horee Guards to the
custom house, for some one hsd wsggishly
inscribed on them A Boz Of Dates."
A MELANCHOLY TRUTH.-There is no
doub! that when our ships are ploughing
the main: they mus, NEE. with some very
narrowing scenes. ..-.. -.
Nor so BAD AS THEY ARE PAINTED
outstanding our dislike 10 the Rus
SLAMS, we do no. see they are such bad
set, after all for as they have no! yet gain
ed a single ba..le over the Allies, they can's
be so very repulsiue.
"FRENcH WITHOUT A MAsrER."-This
is promised to Paris on the 16.h instant.
The weather in the Crimea must have
been very unpIeasan. for undressed military
officers.
We often receive repor. that 'lhere is
nothing new before Sevastopol,'' and, |
should say, a correct one, judging from the
ragged state we hear that The soldiers are
in.
Why are green peas like Sevas!opol e
Because they must be shelled before taken.
LENT IN THE CRIMEA.-We don't know
whether our troops in the Crimea had sny
pancakes on Shrove Tuesday but the pro-
bsbii,y is, that, in order to take Sevsstopol,
they have all been provided with materials
for batter.