The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1855-12-12
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EE An ugly baby is an utter i'm.
possibility. sas
"You ara little bear. nsdams 80
| "Sir 2"
g About tie shoulders, ] mean !"
EE TIE height Of izsaeination TO
tic a mackerel to your coat-sail, and
think yourself mermaid. =
IL A rascally old bachelor asks-s-
" what is the most difficult operation q
surgeon can perform ? To take the jaw
out of q woman -
E If you want to know the way 70
the penitentiary, follow the man who
believes that the q world owes him .
living y st.7Ss
e. /" Would ycu like to subscribe
for Dickens Household Words p, In.
quired sombre- looking maeazine agsnt
Household words have played the
dickens With me long enough I" WAS tbs
feeling reply of the heDpecked husband.
E Hontz, what's the matter 2"
Mine Cot, de sorrel wagon has run
away NIT de green horse and broke de-
axle tree of dc brick house what stands
by de corner lamp post across de telee
graph. Mine Cot yot beeples p
E a ship is evidently moat at
fectionate creature, and may be said to-
be In love when she wants nsate when
she is ship of great size (sighs;) when.
she is tender to Hsdzs-0f -z0aT when
II, L. L..
doa0a f0z a smack when she is 1fterz
consorf, or when she is attachedtoa bsoyf
ET The best retort we have seen
for long time was that of gentleman,
who, on being awakened By the captain
of boat with the announcement that
he must not occupy his berth with his
boots on, very considerably replied;
OH never mind the bugs wonst
hurt 'em much, guesss they're an old
pair. Let 'em rip
FoRESsrc ELooUENcE.-ts If it please
the court and gentleman of the jury.
We shall attempt to prove first, that my
clients hog did not commit any depre-
dations upon the complaiEant's fence;
that the hog broke only three pickets
instead of six, as set forth in the indicf-
ment and third, that my client has no
hog; neF never had /"
@ Mottofor the Trumpet Well,
I'm blowed -
Motto for the Drum-tsI confess I'm
fairly beaten %
Motto for the Piano-forte-s You
can have as many of my notes as YOU
require
MOttofOr the Morning sun-aI muas
have my dew y
Motto for an Easel--a You may draw
on me to any extent y
E An irregular apprentices fre.
4uently keeping late hours, his master
at length took occasion to apply some
weighty arguments to convince himHof
the error of his ways. 3
During the ehastisement, The master
Exclaimed -.
How long will you serve the deSil?b
The boy replied, whimpering--
You know best, sir I believe my
ndenturss will be out in three monthss1
EE As good looking friend Of ours,
ghose mustache is jet black and curlo
over his lip, was passing
he residence of a couple of damsels, the.
conversation is said to have
'een overheard
L.. Il do wonder how Il goes to-
iss one of those creatures with q horrid
nnstache p
s. Why, L., Of course / don's
now
L. Well, I'm going to get the /
DOT brush and try it, sszasss
And she did-but we won't tell on you
iris Il.
EE Bridget, 2 said . lady to hers
ervant Bridget Couley, "w who vas thst
ian you were talking with so long at -
be gate last night ?" Z. -, =.
Sure, no one but my oldest brother,
Iam," replied Bridget, with a flushed x
heck. 4. sssssz
g Your brother I didn't know you
i'd a brother. What is his name ?''
Barney Octoolan; nam
"Indeed ! HeW comes it that his
anne is not the same as yours f,'
Troth, man, replied Bridget, be
Is BEEN married once.
ENoRING old Hicks was an awful =
Iorer. He could be heard farther than
blacksmith's forge; but his wife be-
me so accustomed to it, that it soothed :,
r repose, They were very domestic
uple never slept apart for many years. -
length the old man was required to -.
tend court some distance. The frat -
ght after his departure, his wife nerer :
spt wink; she missed the snoring.
ne second night passed away in the
me manner without sleep. She was
tting into a very bad way, and proba- =
= would have died, had it not been for -
g ingenuity of the servant-girl. She
'k the cofes-naiH info her nsistress' Z
amber, and ground her to sleep at 4.
cel
=" You come from s
q Yes. . -.
q Ard You had "a father and mother 1's 9:
q And you had . sister 2, -
q And that sisters name wss--,' szas
g Aud your name ISL - ssi sssl
G The same as my father'sn Sz
t' knew it Rash 60 my arm&-z s
,ain i clasp my lost brother Again
dol Again Again Againl Hat
tham tFsints, falls on the stageS
|ls over. and 60 shoots - n pistol at tbs