Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1855-02-28
P0ETRY Y

For the Spectator.
ST. james OF Nisibis and the Gals
BY FATHER TOM,
Who spent on ereniag trith The Rope.
St. James was blessed ould saint,
Whose name is yet famous in story,
And. brethren, wish could paint
How his vare,ues deserved all his glory;
How he hated an Aran,
Or blue Presbyterian.
No matter how dacent he seemed to the world;
How he'd catch him and toast him,
And praych while he'd roast him,
And call the smoke incense, as upward 1t curled
Though the haythens, with fear growing pale,
Denied Baal peor and Astar,e;
Though heretics learned to consale
TIL they samed TO be Catholics hearty;
Though vile opinions
Throughout his dominipns
Were uttered aloud, for they dreaded the flames
Though outwardy humblcd,
In sacret .hey grumbled,
And aven the women swore vengeance on James.
As his Reverence once took stroll
80 resayve from his people their quota,
(For never absolved he soul.
Its owner paid not an iota y
He came IN river,
Which looked as 'twould niver [o'er
Let him cross it, unless he could bravely swim
So he takes off his breeches,
And into it pitches, shore
With his clothes in une hand, for the opposite
Thray washer-girls stood near the crink
Consaled from ST. James by the rushes;
But they saw him. and. brethren, you'd think
They ran away covered with bushes
Not foot did they scamper,
For shame could not hamper
Thray pagans from veXing Catholic saint;
But the vilanous women
Neared where he was swimmn'
Almost at the shore, nearly frozen and faint.
They shouted with haythenish JOY,
Then bawled out all joining in chorus:
''Ah, jamie. ye rogue. ye're the by
To swim over naked before as!
Ye hypocrte rascal,
We think il will task all sarape
Yer smoothest tongued blarney to get oat this
Ye gray gay desayver,
Can any belayver
Have faith in ye benceforth, ye filthy ould ape!
..Dut what will ye give for yer lie7
For fast as ye can ye are sinking
Had We not rather take ye wife
Than die of vile could wather dhrinking2
Come, quick Judge betwane us,
And the Goddess will give ye herself for yer bride
Aud whichever marreS--"
"Belore act Paris" side.
Cries James. "iust look down at the clear rivers
They looked n-aud shrieks filled the air!
Each form. once so graceful and slender,
Was withered and bent, and their hair
WhlIe AS that Of he Uuld witch OF Endor.
Their eyes nn more twnkled
With glee, but all wrnkled
With crowfeet. sunken an inch in their heal ;
Their hytures were haggish.
Their teeth black and snaggish,
And their hides, like crimped parchment, were dir
ty and dead.
The saint now touched ground with his toes,
And was freed from the fear of all evil;
So he siood up and cried To his iues:
''Begone, ye vile hags of the Divil!
Let me come out, We witches,
70 put on my breeches-
I'll murlher We all, if / Iraze where stand !"
So he scared them SD direly,
They ran off entirely, sand.
And he came out aud dressed there upon the dry
Thrue metal. my friends stands the test.
If ynu plunge il in sharp aqua torlis.
And James with temptation was pressed
When he samed IN nticuio moriis.
How few would have tarried
A-dhrowning. but married
The first pretty girl who'd have rescued his life!
Yes, Prodesan praychers
Adore the swate eraytrres,
AID don't wait for dLrtcning to take them wife
He stood there while, when sound
Rsyched his ears of loud waping and waillng !;
He turned him. and saw On the ground
The ihray on their marrow bones knallng-
They cried to his Reverence
To graft them deverance
From praymaiure age and to bring back their
youth;
And in dapest contriiion
They promised submission
To our Mother the Church, and to Catholic truth.
.sOud maids" he replied. "though We called
Me a rogue and filthy ould jacko,'
For all the abuse that ye brawled
care not a chaw OF tobacco
But yet in my person
Ye uttered a curse on
The Church. which vow ye shall niver abuse
So this is my sentence:
c In proof Of repentance
Donenance lwelvemonth with pase in yer shoes"
Give us youth /" they all cried in breath,
"And we'll sa upon spikes, ii commanded
For. Father, we hate worse than death
With the name ufoald maids to be branded" !"
When he saw they repen,ed.
The good man relented,
And of penance he never said pass to the girls;
Holy waiher he sprlnkles,
And off went the wrinkles,
And their heads were all covered with glossy
black curis.
Their forms stood erect, and their eyes
Bright as stars ofthe morning were baymlng;
Their cheeks of that color where vies
The rnse with The pure lily's gayming;
Their skins polished brightness
Surpassed in its whteneSs
The bosom Of Vanus just sprung fro,n the say
And their lips s!-Holy Mary!-
Gni, brethren. spare ye-
Had been there mesell, I'D have kissed them
all ,hray.
This miracle spread like fi,me-
The hay thens stood dumb and astounded.
R,t la,nes grew Immortal in fame.
And the maidens with beaux were surrounded:
Each made their selection,
Their bliss was perfection
With handsome young husbands 10 call them
.my dear;"
With children in pllnty,
Each hTtane nr twenty,
They lived tn crows age in pane ana Soou cneef'
~ The onion. 1t is said, destroys The at
.ractiveness of the magnet. II has Ine
Iona ef;ert yrith voung ladies'.