Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1855-10-11
humorous iaeoOin0.
- Ils - n Naw-YOTk.

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The police reporter Of the New York Tri-
daas relates the sightseeing adventures Of
20 Joseph Green, who was brought up for
l,ying been inebnated and asleep 10 the high
say, Green bad been having an evenings a.
masemenl. IN the course Of which he had heen
40 the circus, and sftergard 10 q bowling alley
and shooting gallery with friend whom he
had picked up. By the knd'permission Of the
,Jadge he was allowed 10 tell Eis story ia his
ovn way, which he did In very disjoin;ed
style. and vth great deal Of earnestness and
volatility. somewhat after the fashion Of the
,weH-knoan Alfred Jingle:
my name is Green, Mr. Judge, live in the
.ths country; come down here for the first time
TO see the city, stopped at Mr.. Asior's tavern in
4toadway street, fine place good bartender,
big whIskers, does things with kind OF Hour
.ishy Jerk peculiar to himself, didn't know any
boiy in the city. perfect stranger, got my sup
per. went out on the steps, man came along
good looking man. shin hat, big chain, stand
IN oplIAr, cane with jack,knise in, introduced
himself said he was a stranger too, wanted me
90 90 with him and pass a pleasant evening,
sgrsed to go. went, took something to drink
before we started. got little ways, and he
said hadn't we better take a nip, took a nip,
he said shouldr we 60 to the circus, told him
wasn't acquainted with circus, but trot it out,
he said hadn't We better have something 6rst,
had something. got to the door, my friend left
hiS socket book at home, borrowed ten dollars,
and paid for two, gave me change. one dollar
,,5ll, threw pewter dimes and smooth CEN;
didn't understand York currency but thought It
all right, got inside, place near the door with
bottles in, also glasses and pumps-large assort-
ment Of pumps, with mahogany handles; friend
said. should we Amilef We smiled, stepped
aiong and looked at the performance; men with
nothing on but crown aud pair Of tight
breeches covered with si1pences, and women
With peltieoats about as long as turnover col
lar. ali standing on one leg on horseback except
when they we're rolling heels over head in the
sawdust trying to catch the tips OF their Toes
in their teeth: remarkable fact, all the horses
had two tails, and all the men were double
headers. friend said ii was the effect OF the last
smile, and proposed that we should take some
thing TO get the dust ou. Of our eyes--friend
said IL I'd seen enough we'd go-took last
look-the men with the sixpenny breeches
were dancing with the ladies in the short skirts,
which seemed all upside down like a bowl
man with whip was cracking 1t at everybody,
especially a fellow with three cornered patches
ali over him who WAS standing on his head on
pewter platter on top Of a pair Of stilts-stop.
ped at the place with the bottles in-iriend
said should we imbibe-we imbibed-went
outside, started to go across the street, brought
np against oyster cart, tried TO kick over the
ayster.cert, got my leg between the wheels
new hat fell of, couldn't get up, concluded tc
sit down did sit in my hat--friend helped me
lo and tied my hat on with a string-friend
aid shouldn't we take snifter--took a snifteI
went to a shooting place-tried to kill the
east iron man with the pipe in his mouth
iou't think did, fred seven times and all the
balls lodged in the ceiling overhead, except
one which vent through the toe Of my boot
and struck In the floor, friend said. hadn't we
better horn--horned, started for bowling sa'
loon, got part way, friend proposed that We
should stop at milk punch place and take q
suck-took suck, got 10 rolling place
thought I'd roll first ball, didn't stay on the al.
ley, The second l let slip behind me- and il
smashed bird cage and demolished canary,
while the last one hit the pin.boy and knocked
him through the side Of the house, friend said
shouldn't we go to the bar and set EN- up
'set 'em up and kept doing SO till the floor
looked like river, and tried to drink the coal
nod, under the impression that 1t was glass of
brandy and sugar. bot, friend said, shouldn't
we julep-juleped, he then proposed that we
should cocktail--cocktailed friend borrowed
pooket-book and coat, officer came, and here
am.
Mf Green was reprimanded and dscharg-
Cd, further punishment being considered unne-
oessary, in consideration Of his loss while see
ing the elephant.