The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-04-11
a Bachelors Experience.

a Bachelors Experience.
Dear reader, hadst thou ever fair cousin
numbering about eighteen summers, with blacl
eyes, clustering rnglets Of a bright silken brown
"a face so sunny that it seemeth never to have
known sorrow-an arch smile lurking near the
corners of one of the prettiest mouths in the
woodland lips, SO full, ruddy, and pouting
that they seemed to say 'toome kiss me- to.
gether with voice Of that clear, peculiar rich.
ness, which windeth itself into the heart and
nestleth there as lift were its appropriate rest.
ing place? If thou hast such an one, take the
advice of friend, and shun her. Is her figure
round and beautifully formeds has she a spright-
Ily tread, as if halfwalking, half-foat;ne?
her laugh musical? doth she discourse sweetlv?
doth she call thee cousin in low con6dino
tone? If so, pray thee avoid her-fy frora
her-lock thy door when she approacheth, and
fshe entereth thy apartment when thou art sit
ting alone of an evening" put out the lamp, that
darkness may be between thee and her-then
button up thy coat and thy heart and depart
quickly. If thou beholdest her afar off in thy
summer rambles, in the shadowy grove, or by
the margin of the bright liver, return thou
hastily, as one who feeth from an enemy that
seeketh his life. If thou meetest her unawares
pull thy hat over thy brow and pass on, and
remember, see that thou salu.e her not by the
way, or evil, will come of it-for it were less
dangerous to thee to gaze on the head of the
Medusa, than to bestow single glance on the
laughing features of a cousin of eiehteen.-
Treasure those precepts in thy heart, so shalt
thou be safe in the midst of temptation, but if
thou abatest one jot in thy vigilance, thou wilt
ere many days, become as one who putteth on
sackcloth and ashes for grievous penance
and walketh through the city of many men,
crying aloud, "wo! wo! wo!' Therefore. oird
thyself for the contest, and if she dwelleth in
the house of thy father depart thou from it, and
though they send to thee and say, "What is
this thou hast done? verify it is yery foolish
thng-return, for we lack thy presence at the
board''-yet 90 thou not back. And if thou
visitest the house of a friend, and thy cousin
happeneth in, and is seated beside thee, do thou
| throw thy handkerchief over thy head and sleep
Or pretend to sleep, and if thou pretendest to
snore, it were perhaps better, thought it were
doubtful ifthou couldst deceive her, for cousins
are very artful, and if she essay to lift the cor
ner of thy handkerchief and look upon thee
with her eyes, do thou resist stoutly, for it is
doing battle in good cause--yet take heed in
thy strugglings, that thou openest not thine eve
or evil may come upon thee, better let the
guileful one take from thee thine handkerchief
without resistance, than that thine eyes should
be opened-and if she faint at any time when
thou art near, do thou hasten and call another,
in order that all needful assistance may be rem
dered, but beware that thou goest not tn yself,
for it may come to pass that it was but faint to
draw thee beside her, for cousins are exceeding
artful. And if thy cousin singest exquisite
songs at any time, do thou keep time with thy
feet, and see thou do it loudly, that the noise of
the stamping may exceed three-fold the noise
of the singing, and should thy father at any
time call unto thee and say 'Lo! thy cousin
hath not any one who shall conduct her whittier
she would go, therefore do thou array thee and
depart with her. that she may not be rudely
treated by the way"-if thy father speak thus
unto thee, refuse not, but do his bidding, for
son may not refuse his father, but when We are
arrived in the open street, be thou as an adder
that heareth not, even as an adder that is deaf
though thy cousins voice be as musical as
the pipe of the charmer, yet be thou not
"charmed she never so wisely y''-take heed
that thou doest this, lest thy cousin cozen thee,
if a rude man should push against her as ye
walk together in the street, even in the street
of the city of many men, and thy cousin fall
do not thou smite the man, but bid him raise
her, and if he sayeth nay. and passeth on, do
thou ask the next wayfarer, but be sure that
thou raise her not thyself, lest thine eyes meet
hers, for it may be that she fell hoping to rise
in thy esteem, even as of the Horatii retreated
4arn Iirrr ortf
end when ye have arrived at the place wherein
thy cousin is fain to enter, do thou ring and re-
tire quickly, less that the good man of the
house should call on thee and say, "Tarry thou
with us for while," for should he speak the
speech, they couldst not say to him nay seeing
that he is thy fathers friend-therefore do you
stand afar of, and watch till thy cousin enter
eth, that thou nayest depart in peace. And
should thy father at any time bid thee to the
banquet, that thou mayest look upon the faces
of his friends, peradventure thy cousin will
seat herself over against thee, so that thou shalt
be constrained to look upon her-for cousins are
very guileful-then do thou straightway bid
.he serving man place the lamp betwixt thee
and her, SO that the excessive brightness of the
amp shall dazzle thine eye in such manner
'Hdo tHou oudlt NV UCuOlu Hti, tftH tiiouSH
she had seated herself before thee purposely, if
here be vacant seat beside thee, do thou oc
'upy both, so that she come not near, but if
he hath already seated herself beside then, do
hou talk loudly and necessarily with the wo-
nan who may be next thee.
Let not these things which have been written
all to the ground, for he who inscribed this
lad a cousin once, and she was surprising beau
lful and her eyes were exceeding large and y
ustrous, and he who speaketh to thee could =
cad that which was written within them, even
S the prophet of old did read the strange char
cters upon the walls within the banquet hall
f Belshazzar the king, and he was fain to seat .
imself beside her, for her voice was soft and d
ow, and her words were many and good, for
he could discourse most winningly, and he
iould lnger and listen even as one that is wrapt
/ woven sounds of sweet music, for verify
lere is magic in the voice of cousin, and in G.
er gaze, therefore, do thou avoid them Now h
came to pass that he was wont to make n
leasant journeys into the country round about v
nd it often CHANGED, although he wist not how n
lat, when he looked around 10! his cousin $
as beside him, and she would lean upon his Il