The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1855-05-03

rounding country, and the indications of spring
already visible. Circumstanced a. We were,
everycommonplace word he uttered was an in.
suit; | felt it so. Yet so dearly did / love
him, and in that love was pride SO far forgot.
ten, that would gladly have thrown myself at
his feet, and implored him to care for me a
little, since could not live, deprived of his ac
lection. But his averted eye, his distant man.
ner, showed too well that such appeal, or any
other, would be useless; it might move his
compassion, but could not touch his heart Oh
the misery of that conviction / turned to
leave the room. scarcely knowing what did
only anxious to be anywhere away from him
Why, Louis, did you call me back3. Why did
you render the cup of disappointment more
bitter, by mingling with it the poison Of false
hope? He kissed me tenderly, and begged me
to forgive him; he was not well, and things
had happened which annoyed him greatly.
was net the only one that suffered from it
The confession of irritability in him, whom
we had always known so equable, surprised
me; but / was only too glad to believe any
thing which restored me the hope of his love.
Why do / torture myself by recalling thai
visit-the alterations of coldness and affection
with which he treated me-the caprice mani
Tested by him who had always been so uni
hluu w ucH u6 octluCQ lHQIueIenI,
tried to find in myself the cause of ito fan
cy that something in my conduct had given
him offence. Poor fool how anxious 1 was
TO the very end, to think myself important 10
him
I A week had passed thus, when Louis's. young
est brother came, wild boy, saying AMI doing
anything he chose, without reference Pother
peoples feelings. He had not been in the
house an hour, before he began to drop mystic
rious hints about certain darkeyed beauty
aud to tease Louis for being, as he said, low
spirited and love-lorn. "a | can tell you, Lutte,
he continued, "you would feel worse yet If you
could see her. Why, she has firted, since you
have been away, with half the men in town
and would not stop, in spite of all advice, till
told her / should come up and give you warn
ing"
7sBe, quiet, john" said Louis, sternly; ri
such nonsense is agreeable to you, it certainly
is not to me-"
What his brother answered is more than
can tell; here, at last, | had the explanation
of his altered conduct. Strangely enough, The
thought of a rival in Louis's affection had never
yet occurred to me. SO firm was my reliance
in his honor, that should have blushed to sus
pect him of Inconsistency; since he first declared
his love, the idea of jealousy had never entered
my mind. Now, again, felt it; not the burn
ing, narrowing pain once had known, but {
cold, despairing agony. did not hate the cir
he loved, did not wish to harm her; onl,
thought how unspeakably happy she must be
and longed to be like her.
When occasion offered, / questioned Johl
SCOUT her, in as careless manner a L coult
assume. She was beautiful, he said; the hand
soonest girl he ever saw, with great black eyes
that shone like diamonds, and the whitest hand
ia the world. She was very witty and accom-
plished, and great belle, and all the men wer,
dying for her, but every one knew she was il
love with Louis, and nobody else had the shad
ow of chance.
!" And is he as much in love as ehe?"
asked.
"Him / guess you would think so, if yol
saw them together. He is fairly bewitchet
with her, and none of us knew what to make o
it when he broke off, and came up here in thi
atrocious weather"
| did not stay for further revelations. NJ
eyes were opened now, and l could only won
der at my previous blindness. With a strong
effort controlled my feelings; there would b,
time enough, thought with bitterness, to give
way to them hereafter. At present, | had ;
business to accomplish, which demanded al
MY energies. / sought for Louis, and remem
Der how, as | went, scorn of myself and al
my little projects grew within me. What wa
/, compared with this lovely, darkeyed woman
this wonder of talent and of beauty? How pitt
full, in comparison with her, seemed all l was
and all ever could be!
AT last found Louis; fortunately, he wa
alone. Very quietly l told what | had heard
and said that he was free; not for worlds
would detain him moment from the one ht
loved. He tried to put me of-to say he de
sired no greater happiness than the fulfHmen
of our VOWS; but would not listen. All wal
over between us, assured him, and he mus
not insult me with the proffer Of such affection
as he now had to bestow.
Never, Louis, were you half so dear as then
when | renounced you forever; when you beg
ged me to forgive you, and to believe that you
had not meant to wrong me-had not yielded
with selfish levity, to your new passion, but
when you saw the danger, had striven to avoid
it, and remain faithful to your promise. AS you
kissed me at parting, my heart throbbed with
agony at the thought that never again should
know that dear caress--never again be EMBODIED
in that loved embrace. Yet was calm-sC
cslm that you could not dream how much
sfFered
He left us that day, and when next | heard
from him, he was on his way to Europe. L
he had been faithless to his love, he wrote, he
would at least preserve his honor. Never
should the promise falsifed to me be transfer
red to another And so he babe farewell.
Yes, it was indeed all over, and | was left
alone-alone with the remembrance of my
bighted hopes, crushed under the weight of g
sorrow in which none could comfort me.
never struggled against it l never strove tc
shake off its influence. Life for me was robbed
of every charm; / no longer cared where it wa,
spent, or how.
And now was dying; this languor, thi,
the last great change? Well; let it come,
thought. Some hearts will be sad a little while
that am gone, but they will soon recover, and
the world do just as well without me. have
got over that foolish idea, of fancying myself
necessary to the happiness of any one.
Once in long time, as tonight, wish thai
Death might stay his coming till Louis's return
All, then, | might, on the very borders of the
grave, snatch yet one passionate JOY, one fleet
ing bliss. Dying, might dare to send for him
he would not hate me then, / know. But, stay
he never hated me he only loved another. Nc
matter for that when he saw me, the old affec
ton might revive again. | would ask but lit
tie, only few minutes; but it cannot be! il
cannot be! He is far away, and long before he
comes again, / shall be quiet in my grave
God bless you, Louis, cried, from the depths
of my sad heart, and may no unkind or tickle
act in her you love ever make you think regret
fully of me.
Note, by a friend Of the parties.
1t may, perhaps, interest the reader to know
that Miss - did not die, as she had calcu-
lated upon doing. She suffered, presume, but
she got well again. A couple of years or SO
afterwards, she married a talented and worthy
man, and went with him to one of the Western
States. When / last saw her, she was happy
nd I c-I Al of hov