Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1855-06-15

hHuN notnlHB pms, compounded oil llttlC
native dirt. mixed up well with a block head s
idea of Republication, and sight chdnce OF
Office coated with n preparation of patriotic
syrup, and passed through clouds of mystical
vapors to make it 60 down easy
Nebraska cancers have appeared in our
ranks, especially in Missouri division Sur
geon recommends 3S5 eighty Founders be
loaded to the muzzle first with blank cart
ridges to wit. Frank Pierce and Stephen
a. Douglass, free soil scrmons-Fern leaves,
Hot Corn, together with all the fancy itera-
ture of the day, and cause the same to be
fired upon the disputed territory-this would
cause all the breakings out to be removed,
and drive off everybody.
For hard times your surgeon recommends
corn-cob Cruel, three times day and after
taking it "a bean pole punch-being the only
kind but what needs a stuck in IL.
Your surgeon in the surgical line, treated
successfully the following ais.
Botts-lliss distcmpcr-gin in the knee
pan l case-knock emit stiff long tailed
cOats-Bill Poole-new postage law-cancers
Aqueous rum-Invincible itch - heaves-
Timbuctoo in the esophagus. Prevailing
epidemics hard water, stultus in cranio, flea
in the ear, death, sloW matches, eclipse |
case. impure gas, bonnetless females, tooth
ache in toe nail. H. a. D'o& Young A'nerioa.
The close of the report was as follows. 1t
affected many even to tears
May you all remember your Surgeon and
may your thoracic duck ever continue to sail
peacefully down the common carrotted arte-
ries-undcr the keystone of the arch of the
aorta and not rush madly into the abomna-
BILE cavity and eclipse the semi lunar dandc-
lions nor still worse play the dickens with the
reverse the doododen, upset the famingo,
irritate the heh-oH-g giossus and bo forever
lost in the rcccptacuum chyli. No, No,
hut Sc.
Yours f.eiingly,
DR.. T.. l.. /. {. o., NJ. d.
DR.. q. we noticed has added new branch
that of dentistry, to his former accomplish
ments. BY his new system, his customers
are not obliged to undergo the pain Of the
operations in person, but by merely sending
their heads to him, can have every thing
done with "A great decrease of trouble. From
a calf's head thus sent in, the DR.. after cut
ting the gums with hay cutter, and filing
between the tocth with wood saw, skillfully
extracted with a pair Of blacksmth's tongs
very great number of molars and incisors.
The sermon of the Chnrl";" ""d the speech
oi Don Quixotc to the Ladies we omit less
reluctantly however, as they will be given to
the world in the London Times and COLLEGE
Maui, which paper, had funny-graphic re-
porters on the spot
Miss Lucy Amazonia Crura Long Lignoa.
l3 feet high, and Mr.. Rattleshauks Don Sky
rI in al
the ranks and were made one by the chaplain.
The bride promised to own the groom bat
protested formally against his custody of her
person property or progeny. The groom
pledged himself to mend the unmentionahles
of his spouse or to resign lis own when requir-
ed, to rock the cradle and spank the babies
He placed no ring upon her finger, but
instead transferred bis whskers to her face,
when the chaplain pronounced them wife and
man. and the happy pair stalked off, their
heads on a level with the second story
windows.
Music from the kccsevlle Band who were
present followed the flying artillery fired
another salute the fife and drums struck
up and the Invinciblcs took their winding
way to the University, where they disbandcd
in good season.
The whole affair was eninently successful
The only hlemishes were some sentences of
questionable rropriety IN one Of the speeches,
and the incXcusahle destruction Of college
property by the midnight cannon firing, which
perhaps 1t is wrong to connect with the
parade in any way,
If, on future occasions of the kind the Irwin
ciblcs remember in their speeches that brc-
witty is the soul of wit and especially that the
broad and vulgar is commonly at far
remove from the truly witty, it will he an
improvement, and the satisfaction of their
numerous hearers and admirers will be
unalloyed