Eastern times., 1855-05-03

hnu out now quickly ne could load IN case OF
necessity. And the ladies are not far behind
this evening learned how much female can
eat, IN charitable cause-a pale-faced ball
room belle is modern Sphinx-a gastronomic
problem, whose solution will probably never
be satisfactorily expounded. Under the I'M
preston that she would not eat more than
had money to pay for, invited lady to take
some refreshments, and certainly ihiak that,
like the countryman, she imagined tina; she was
bound to eat all the bill-of-fare called for
She ate stewed oysters-tried oysters-boiled
turkey with oyster sauce, celery,-oysters in
the shell-ice. cream, sponge cake, and Char
lotie russe-Roman punch, two water ices,
coffee, sandwiches, cold sausage, lobster sal
ad, also stewed oysters again, and six on the
shell-orange jelly, grape ditto, cake; she
then limited again at oysters, but as the supply
had run out, she was obliged to go hungry
paid the bill with certified check on the
Merchants bank, which luckily covered the
amount and greatly relieved my mind; for
feared there would be balance which would
have TO give my note for.
Having previously procured the articles re-
quired for my friend, Immediately lefi-got
home, and proceeded to examine my pur-
chases-found ;hat the slippers-having been
pasted together without the slightest regard
10 permanency, had come apart in my pocket,
my comforter had ravelled out, so that had
about six inches conAforter, and wad of yarn,
big enough TO make horse blanket-my dress
ing gown had been made of a moth-eaten rem
nant, and where there was any sewing every
stitch was as long as railroad, but the sleeves
had, verify believe, been put in with court
plaster, and the long seams closed with car
penter's glue.
Made up my mind that the objects of that
feminine Institution, Ladies' Fair, are some
what as follows: Firstly, to give the ladies
an opportunity TO show their new clothes, and
to talk with multitude of unknown gentle
men, without any preliminary introduction.
Secondly, to beg as much money as possible
from the gentlemen aforesaid, under the trans
parent formality of bargain and sale-which
sale includes the buyer, who is really the one
article fairly sold in the whole collection.
Thirdly, to give some money to the ostenta-
tiously poor, if there is any left after paying
expenses, and the Committee don't spend it in
carriage hire.
In New York, by refinement ia benevo-
lence engendered by the hardness of the times,
and the necessity of making the money 60 as
far as ii will, charity money answers double
purpose; procuring pleasure for the rich, and
soup for the poor. Thus, if you pay three
dollars for ticket TO the Opera, OF Ball, you
can enjoy your Aria, or Schottische, with a
double relish; and can eat oysters and turkey,
and gulp down creams, ices, till your stomach
strikes in the labor of love, with the happy
consciousness that il is all for sweet charity ;
and if the three dollars, before it reached
the needy, in whose behalf you gave it, dwin-
dies TO three dimes and ftp, you can, know
ing you have done your duty, POLITICALLY ex-
claim, with the noble Thame, Thou canst
not say did it,
Benevolently,
Q. X. PHILANDER DoEsTIcKs, p. B.