The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1855-06-26
a PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.


the Canal Boat Uncle John, having been
brought out by numerous friends as a candidate
| for the Presidency, has complied with their re-
quests and published tho platform of principles
on which ho expects to ride into the Executive
chair.
"You know me ALL he proceeds, IL have
been raised in these parts, and grew up among
the virtues and vegetables OF your fathers; in
my early years, ere sin could blight, was
placed on the deck Of canal boat and ever
since have followed tho vocation to which
was called by en- induigent parent, and have
lived for tho most part on this sheet of water,
making my home as it were, Sin the trough
of the sea- This life has most ossuredly ex-
tended my sphere of observation, and sharpen
ed my wits. There is n geod deal to see be-
tween hore and Albany, and good deal to
learn in freighting pork and onions, together
with members of Congress and some mission
aries. My frequent dealings, too, with the
New York merchants, however much they hare
been calculated to strain my morals, have ten
ded to give me broader and higher viows Of
human nature. Yes, / have enjoyed privileges
in my chequered existence, and l have been
enabled by the blessings of Providence and
some fortunate speculatiops in butter and
cheese, to lay up a trihe against windy day,
and 10 erect for my affectionate wifo and be-
iONOd iohii1 icoidChCos Oil
proud TO say, stands twenty by thirty on my
own land, and combines under It's hosptable
roof all the modem improvements, including
wash boiler and pump in tho kitchen.
will not attempt to state all my opinion
in full. know they would be eagerly read,
but with my careful way of writing-slow and
sure-down strokes heavy and up strokes light
shouldn't get through them in week.
Besides there would hardly be room in this
canal boat to express my feelings without
knocking away bulkheads, and, moreover if 'tis
all the same to you, gents, l prefer not to
commit myself by any unguarded words
There are some points, however that must not
be omitted.
And, first, with regard to my political GEN.
timents, believe am entirely unembarrass-
ed, and FREQ to accept nomination from any
party. am not exclusive and particular in
my views. My main politics are of the E
Pluribus Unum school, peacably enough TO
friends, but knock down and drag out when
il comes to foes and marauders. I'm plain
spoken, all my sentiments straight t-built and
sQuare-toad, up and down, right and left and
never surrender. I've always voted for Jack
son, and expect to do so just as long as he is
a candidate. As to newspapers, nevor read
them. / want no theories and speculations, |
and as long as know what I'm about, ask
nobody to tell me. never had but three
months schooling in my life, and I'm glad of
it. I'm a self-made man, and practice is nay
motto. Talk about statesmen and lawyers, |
the country wants self-made practical men.-l
Give me Duffs Calculator and fair start and |
Ill agree to cypher the constitution out of the |
way Of snags and sand bars, and keep tho old |
craft snug and taut-blow high or blow low
To sum up all, I'm for the starspangled ban |
ner, and forever, one and inseperable and |
when at last in tho language Of fallen patriot, |
''Pm conner" TRUST that our proud bird |
as il hrushns nvar rivor aud "'ouus-i.. siv |
errands of mercy, without regard to railroad or |
will be enabled to point with extern
ded wing to my humble resting place, and to |
say in unaffected accents, "Hore lies true
American"
am not quite settled in my views in relation |
TO the bank. and the tariff Sometimes think |
il is not. As to the tariff, have never noti-
ced its effect on the "Uncle John" but am |
willing to be guided by the precepts of our
Puritan fathers.
1 have no hesitation in saying that on tho
subject of temperance l am all right. l am
opposed to New England rum, and speak it
boldly. / have battled this monster moro shsn
thirty years, and have confined myself princi-
pie to plain and unadultorated whiskey.
Pure Monongahela of tho regular Ovsrt oltz |
DIdilu pcilONe W W tuO elUpiO UoNCEdko VI
nature. Vegetable in its orign-the nutricious
life blood of rye, as cider is tho essential juice
of apples-it corrects tho frigidities OF cold
water, kills the elemental tadpole which often
turks in the crystal spring, exterpates those as
siduities of the system which will sometimes |
creep into "the bost regulated families"
1t only remains for mo to speak of my reli-
gious views. / suppose it makes but little |
difference about these-for although religion
s very good thing to have in family-thers
seems to be little use for it down in Washing
ton. / may as we'll state, however, that am
not at all bigoted---and do not confne myself
10 any particular sect. am neither a Nor
non, nor q Shaker. nor Jew nor a Gentilo.-l
have never boen accustomed TO worship idols
ike the Hindoos and Brahampootras--no am
opposed to pork and beans like the ignorant
Still l Ihave nothing to say a
gainst ministers. I always keep Testament
on board for the use of passengers, and if
have told Tom. my cabin boy, once, I've told
him dozen times, never to swear before tho
ladies'.
would like to hoar from you In relation
10 the slavery, tho prices of provisions, and
the general cost of living in Washington, and
you think it would be cheaper to keep
house or board out. am rather in favor of
washing can be had reasonable.
nave the quaiincatlons TOT carrying OUT the
lam sixty-two years old-health
good, system sound-decided complexion,
double tooth all round-spry and active as
cat-stand six feet three in my boots; and
weighed last week two hundred and forty three
pounds. My morals are good, although have
been in the habit of using tobacco, rather moro
than less, since the earliest dawn Of youth
All ask is the great Julis Cesar said 'fair
play and no gouging."
Yours, PERo TUBBoCKs,
Master of Uncle John