Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1855-12-15
A Remarkable Sermon.

| A Remarkable Sermon.
The following report of remarkable sermon
said to have been delivered at Brandon, Miss, by
revered captain of Mississippi tlatboat, contains
some fun, and not a little satire:
| ~ may say to you, my breethering, that l am
not an edecated man, an l am not one o them as
believes that edecation is necessary for gospel
minister; for believe the Lord edecates his preach
ers Jest as he wants 'em to be edecated; and, al
though say it that oughn't to say it, yet in the
State of Indianny, whar live, thar's no man as
gifts bigger congregation nor what gifts.
| "Thar may be some here to-day, my breethring,
as don't know what persuasion l am Nv. Well, |
may say to you my breethring that Pm Hardshell
Baptist. Thar's some folks as don't like the Hard
shell Baptsts, but I'd ruther hev hard shell as
no shell at all. You me here to-day, my breeth-
| ring, drest up in fine close you mout think was
proud; but am rot proud, my breethefing; and
although I've been preacher NV the gospel for
twenty years, and although I'm capting Nv that
fatboat that lies at yure landing, I'm not proud,
my breethring.
"Im not a gwinc to tell you edzackly whar my
tex may be found; suffice it tn say, IT'S in the leds
of the bible, and you'll find it somewhat tween the
first chapter of the book of Generation and the last
90 and sarch the Scriptures as have sarched the
Scriptures, you'll not only find my tex thar, but a
great many other texes as will do you good to read
an my tex, when you shall find it, you shall find it
to read thus:
"And he played on a harp with thousand strings !;
sperits Of just men made perfeck."
"My tex, breethring leads to speak NV spert.
Now, thar's great many kinds of sperits in the
word-in the fust place. thar's the sperits as some
folks call ghosts; then, thar's the sperits Nv tur
pentme; and then thar's the sperits some folks
call liquor-and I've got as good artikle of them
kind of sperits on my fatboats as was fetched
down the Mississippi river; for the tex sez: "He
played on harp of thousand strings-sperits of
just men made perfeck.'
"But I'll tell you the kind NV sperits as is ment
in the tex; it's fire. That is the kind of sperits
is ment in the text, my breethring. Now thars a
great many kinds Of fire in the world In tho
filst placer thars the common sort fire you lite
cigar or pipe with, and then thar's cam-tire, fire
before you're reddy and fall back, and many other
kinds Nv fire for the texsez: He played on a harp
of a thousand strings-sperits of just men made
perfeck."
But I'll tell you the kind NV fire as is ment in
the tex, my breethring-it's hell fire! and that's
the kind Nv fire as great many of you'll come to,
eff YOU don't do better ner what you hav bin doin'
-Ior, He piayed on tne nafp OF thousand strlnSs
-sperits Of just men made perfeck."
"Now, the different sorts Nv fire in the world
may be likened unto the different persuasions in
the world. In the fust place, we have the Pisco-
palions and they are high sailin' and high-fal-
utin set and they may be ikened into turkey buzz
zard that flies up into the air, and he goes up and
up till he looks no bigger than your finger nail, and
the flst thing you know, he Gums down and down,
and down and down, and is film himself on the
karkiss of dead boss by the side Nv of the road
and "He played on harp of thousand strings
sperits of just men made perfeck."
"And then thar's the Methods, and they may
be lkened into the squirrel, runnn' up into tree,
for the Methods believes in gwine on from one
degrees Nv grace to another, and finally to per-
feckshun, and the squirrel goes up and up, and he
jumps from linn to linn and branch to branch, and
the filst thing you know he falls and down he Gums
kerHummux, and that's like the Methods, for they
is alters fallin from grace, ali! And" He played
on harp of thousand strngs-sperits of just
men made perfeck."
''And then, my breethering, thar's the Baptist,
ah! and they hev been likened into possum on a
simion tree, and the blunders may roll, and then
the earth may quake, but that possum cings there
still, all And you may shake one foot loose, and
the others thar, and you may shake all feet loose,
and he laps his tail around the linn and he clings
furever, for" He played on harp Nv thousand
strings-sperits Of just men made perfeck."
Here the reporter could no longer contain him.
self, and his notes became entirely unintelligble.