The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-01-03

neighbors, which they were by no means bacl
ward in soliciting.
One day Mrs. Hogan dropped into Mr.
Farnham's, her next door neighbor, just {
the family were about sitting down to suppe
Of course she was invited to sit down.
'sYour tea is very good,' said she, Il wis
Mr.. Hogan was here. He is very fond Of tee
and we are very poor, and can't afford to g
it; it's SO expensive"
This hint was considered rather stron
one, SO Mrs. Farnham handed Mrs. Hogan
just as she was going, pound parcel
''Thank you, said Mrs. Hogan, t1m glat
to get the tea; but faint of much use withou
milk"
A quart of milk was then consigned to he
charge.
well" said she, "now if we had some SUI
gar, we should be provided"
Mrs. Farnham procured a pound, and CAV.
her.
Now" said Mrs Hogan, eve shall stane
chance to have a good cup of tea. There.
nothing relished with tea like apple-pie, az
Hogan often says"
This hint was strong enough to draw ou
the article desired.
"After ALL" said Mrs. Hogan, as she took
the pie in her hand spie amt pie unless a
body has cheese to eat with it. If there's any
thing like it's cheese"
1t was impossible to resist such an appeal
as this An ample slice having been placed
in her possession, she paused for moment as
If considering whether there was not some
thing else she might call for. Failing to think
of any thing, she was about to move off, when
a thought struck her: sThese articles are
rather heavy, and | amt as strong as used
to be, don't know as | shall be able to get
home"
Mrs. Farnham volunteered to send her son
John to carry part of the articles, an offer
which Mrs Hogan accepted without the least
hesitation. When John had landed his load,
Mrs. Hogan limited that she had some wood
she should like to have split, but John didn't
believe In hints, and therefore left without ia
king it.
Punch sagely remarks that, "punning is the
lowest and most contemplate habit that gen.
tleman can possibly acquire, as it is at best but
an imitation of a clowns effort to be a little
witty"
The young lady who caught gentleman's
eye is requested to let it 60.
The man who was charged with electricity,
has been acquitted.
The first tubular bridge ever built was the
bridge of the nose.
A clergyman was once sent for in the mid |
die of the night, by one of the ladies of his
congregations:
"Well, my good woman said he $50 you
are very i'll, and require the consultations of
religion What can I do for you?" "No,"
replied the old lady, s'I'm not very i'll, l am
nervous and can't sleep" GLOW can I help
that?'' asked the parson. ooh, sir, you al
ways put me to sleep SO nicely when | 60 to
church that | thought if you would only preach
a little for mel" The parson was taken with
leaving right off.
"That's very knowing hanimal of yours - {
said cockney gentleman to the keeper of an
elephant.
Very" was the cool rejoinder.
"Ie performs strange tricks and bantics, F
does he?" inquired the cockney, eveinp the t
animal through glass a
surprising" retorted the keeper, "we're
learnt HIM to put money in that box you see c
way up there. Try him with dollar
The cockney handed the elephant dollar,
and sure enough he took it in his trunk, and ,
placed it in box high out of reach /
"Well, that's very Observation-Disclosures
hastonlshing truly. Now let's see i'm take it
out again and hand it back"
. ave never learnt him that" returned the
kceper with rogush leer, and then turned to |
STIR up the monkeys and punch the hyenas. .
We find recorded of the rev. Samuel K. Jen- /
nlngs, who recently died in Baltimore in the r
eighty-fourth year of his age, this beautiful and
touching incident:
"For several months before his death he was
Expecting his dissolution. Almost every night,
when he would retire, as bis daughter, Mrs.
Jwlngs would accompany him to his chamber ,
Ind give him the accustomed kiss of affection
is she babe him good night he would say to {
Ter: Mary, my child, if you should find the old
nan dead in the morning remember that he q
vas not afraid Of DEATH"
General knowledge is unquestionably neces- !
airy for the lawyer. Ludicrous mistakes have Il
occurred through the deficiencies of d
ONE of them in this respect We have heard
n anecdote somewhere of an eminent barris- :
'r examining witness in a trial, the subject
which was ship He asked among other
uestions. Where the ship was at particu- 8 8
II time?" "OhP' replied the witness, "the CT
nip was then in quarantine" ain Quaran- to
ne, was she? And pray, sir, where is Quar-
1tnc?" Another instance, given by Mr.. I
nifty, ofthe value Of general knowledge to the !
wyer, is worth citing. It is well known that q q
judge was 50 entirely ignorant Of insurance q Il
luses, that. after having been occupied for six in
ours in trying an action on policy of insu-
nee upon goods Russia duck from Russia, n
;, in his address to the jury, complained that j
, evidence had been given to show how 10
ussia ducks (mistaking the cloth Of that name 81
: the bird could Be damaged BY sea water, =
id to what extent!
We hear of new continuance, called ssthe
agnetic page turner" which enables plan
S to turn over the leaves of music without Fa
using while playing. Oh, dear! what will arr
me folks do now at parties9
AT what battle would dentist have been
ost at home? The battle of Pultusk. r
Difficulties are to the persererng like the :
st which envelope mountain tops; they ap-
ar in the distance like thick impenetrable
ii, but as we approach them they recede;
len we stand before them face to face, they !,
lolly disappear. III II;
A friend wants to know when the man who Il
pped up all night is going to take the plug q,