Smyrna times., 1855-09-12
L A w
BY STEVEN.

Law is law--law is law; and as in such, and
so forth, and hereby, and Aforesaid, provided al
ways, nevertheless, notwithstanding. Law is
|. Ike country dance, people are led up aud doan
in it till they are tired. Law is like book of
surgery, there are great many desperate cases
in 1t 1t is also physic, they that take least of
it are best off. Law is like homely gentle
woman, very we'll to follow. Law is also like
scolding wife, very bad when it follows us.
Law is like new fashion, people are bewitch-
ed to get into it it is also like bad weather,
most people are glad when they get out of it.
We shall now mention a cause called Bull
um UerSuS Boatum;" it was cause that came
before me. The cause was as follows.
There were two farmers farmer A. and far
mer B. Farmer A. was seized or possessed Of
a ferry-boat. Now, the owner ofthe ferry boat
having made his boat fast TO a post on shore,
with piece of hay, twisted rope fashion, or as
we say uulgO rOcdtO,, a hay band. After he
had made his boat fast to a post on shore, as 1t
was very natural for a hungry man to do, he
Z
was natural for hungry bull to do came down
/ town to look for dinner and observing, dis
covering, seeing, and spying out, some turnips
in the bottom OF the tcrry-boat, the bull scam
bled into the terry-boat; he ate up the turnps,
and, to make an end to his meal fell to work
upon the hay-band; the boat being eaten from
it's mornings, foatcd down the river, with the
bull in it; struck against rock beat a whole
in the bottom Of the boat, and tossed the bull
overheard whereupon the owner of the boat
brought his action against the bull for running
away with the boat. After this, notice of trial
was given, Bullun rerSuS Boatum, Boatum SER
SuS Bullum.
Now the Counsel for the bull began with
saying, My Lord, and you gentleman Of the
| Jury. we are counsel in this cause for the bull.
We are indicted for running away with the
boat. Now, my Lord, we nave heard of run
ming horses. but never of running bulls before.
Now, my Lord, the bull could 10 more run
away with the boat, than man in Il coach may
be said to run away with the horses therefore
my Lord, how can we punish what Is not pun
,,hable Ho' slnVe eat what is not cdtablg !
| Or how can we drink what is not drlnkable I!
! Or, as the law says, how can we think on what
| is not thinkable! Therefore, my Lord, as we
are counsel in the cause for the bull, if the Jury
should bring the bull in guilty, the Jury would
be guilty of a bull"
| The Council for the boat observed, that the
bull should be non-suted, because, in his dec
laration, he has not specified what color he was
of; for, thus wisely, and thus learnedly, spoke
the council" My Lord, if the bull was of no
color, he nj st be OF some color; and, if he was
not of any color, what color could the bull be
of Z" overruled this motion myself by obser-
wing the bull was a white bull, and that white
is no color, besides, as told my brethren, they
should not trouble their heads to tai OF colol
in the law, for the law can color any thing
This cause being afterwards left to a reference
upon the award, both bull and boat, away, botf
bull and boat had good action against the wa
ter-bailiff.
My opinion being taken, an action was ssu
ed, and, upon the traverse, this point of Law
arose, how, wherefore, and whether, why, when
: and what, whatsoever, whereas, and whereby
! as the boat was not a compOs mentis evidence
how could an oath be administered The poin
. was soon settled by Boatum's attorney declar
e ing, that, for his client, he would swear an,
e thing.
j. The water-bailif7s charter was then read
# taken out of the original record, in true laS
}, Latin, which set FORTH in their declaration, tina
a they were carried away either by the tide {
;. flood, or the tide of ebb. The charles of tn
II water-bailff was as follows: "Aquae baillffncs
e magistratus in choisi, super omnibus fishIbu
rs xui habuerant fnnos ct scalos, claws, she'll
h ct talos, qui swimmare in freshibus, vel satlbr
reveris, lakis, ponds, canalibus, ct well-boatis
oysteri, prawni, within, shriumpi. turbutus 81
las :" that is not turbots, alone, but turbots an
>, soles both together. But now comes the n
of cety of the law the law is as nice a new-la
!. egg, and not to be understood by addle-headt
, people. Bullum and Boatum mentioned bo
a the ebb and flood, to avoid quibbling but,
"A being proved that it was carried away Meth,
of by the tide of the food, nor by the tide Of Il
- ebb exactly upon the top of high water, th'
l. were nonsuited but such was the lenity of d
ss court, that upon their paying all costs, th
n were allowed to begin again, de nOUO.- Yves
nd ern Patriot and Republican.
III. --@~s-----
el- Burying Wealth.
J.. A poor old man many years ago buried