Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1855-08-08
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took fancy to the Yankee Eirls, and wrotc
his wife as follows: "Dear Norah, eheso
melancholy lines are to inform you TINT 1
died Yesterday. and I hope you are Ell.
joying the same blessing. / recommend
/ you TO marry Jenny o. Rouke, and take
good care Of the children From your
faffectionate husband till death.
A DELIcxrE CREATrRE. Youthful
Swell -. Now, Charley, you arc Just ID
time for breakfast; have cup Of coffee NJ
Langaid Swell, probably 8in Govern.
mcnt Office Thanks! mol / assure
I yah my dc-ah fellah! It was to take I.
cup Of coffee ia the morning. it would
keep me awake all dayp
| A Coon HIr.-The editor Of the Il.
tonton Georgia Press puts the following. !
| eff the bitches through the low grounds
iof Putnam county had been cut BY native
citizens instead Of Irishmen, is It not pro.
bable the growing crops would have sui.
!ifered less from the recent rains than they
! did? Let the Know Nothings discuss tho
question at their next meeting, and incor-
pprateI in their next platform another plank
- Americans must cut our ditches!' h
| A person recently returned from Ed
| rope, told bis friends that chad been PREF
scented at court there
i 1:"Did you see the QUEEN there 2" asked
lone. . Il.
/ wall, no, ! didn't see her. 'zactiy,
| but Seed one Of her friends iud9e.-4
/ Yer see, he continued, ..the court I was
ipresented athappened TO bca police court. 4
1 gu keep matches Z asked . young
| wsgof a retailer.
oh. all kinds, !" was the reply.
well, then, II take trotting match. 81
1 The retailer Immediately handed him 3
box Of Brandeth's pills."
Several years ago. when Mrs. Rogers,
the actress, was young and handsome,
Lord North, remarkable for his homely
face, accosted her ono night behind the
scenes, and asked her, with asigh, "What
was cure Of lover
Your lordship. said she, ais the best
4 1 KNOWN the world 81
H An old man, speaking of hts CREST
4 knowledge Of the western country, said
\. he had known the Mississippi river since
Il il was d small creek!
\. "A Young lady being asked whether sha
N would weara wig when her hair turned
4 grey, replied with the greatest earnest
\ nsss: "Oh. no. I'll dye first
II Father Strecter, Of Boston, during his
ministerial service Of 90 years duration,
has married 3.972 couples. Surely the
| old gentleman has much to answer for.
4 An Irish schoolmaster said to his pu.
pills: Gentlemen, il you will al be silent
| we shallknow who makes the noise.
The editor Of the Elmira Republican has
found cut where the Know othings Is.
scmblc. It is III cave close BY tie town.
the entrance Of which is hole Just large
enough 10 admit one man at d time. The
last one in takes the hole along with him,
and thus they defy detection.
Mr.. Snizzle, my Pa. wants 10 know II
!. lie n,ay'nt lend himself 10 your axe little
while. He lad alters rather lend than
borrer. 81
a young Thespian was once entrusted
te deliver the following message 10 Lord
Randolph, ID the play: my Lord, IRE
banquet waits" But having lost the RIM
{ lot the sentence, he called out amid Tie
) roars Of the audience, "Mr. Randolph,
your supper has been ready for some tinie!'
Il 81 / 4 " Z ~ = Il E
Tho editor Of the Buffalo Commercial''
4 recently gave the following toasts
Printer IVipes. 81 May they always
have plenty Of SMALL CARS for the heads
Of their linte original artielesl
Madam, ''ssaid cross tempered DIV.
, stefan to i patient, iii women were "a.
mitted 70 Paradise, their tongues would
make it l purgatory.' "And some ply.
sicians,i il allowed TO practice there.'' Il.
| piled the lady, t'would soon make It :
!, desert. =
Our Paper" has offered ! grand prize.
I Hear him: I'VE have purchased and viii
, give splendid IN goblet 10 Tho person who
! shall write tho longest Essay on uninter.
esting subjects, putting the most words u.
gether, with TIE least sense 81 eatine.
|. and using Latin quotations ID ut least eve.
~ other linc..'. a.s
Aftera clergyman had united happy
pair, not long ago, m awful silence en-.
sued. which was broken BY an impatient
youth exclaiming:
Don't be % unspcskably happy"
TIE Young lady Who swooned On hsas.
\ ing j. announced that mixed iact would
be disclosed. came y. on Tscsiving ths
n most positive assurance thatit should 81
1 clothed ia becoming language.
There is i genius up town Who can
take i pair 81 skates and write Juur
months note on The ice with such perfect.
III ness. that IN less thsn an hour the sun II.
II quidatcs II. '
II Acoauettc treats lover Ike boquet
carries him about 1 certain time for
amusement Or show. and chen picks MIN
quietly % pieces. Rli' s.1I8
i A Cincinnati editor being asked "whsl
Is Tie news?" replied; ISL, ! I'LL Nv
news atIten cents week; don't bother
me.
II A y0,1nO fsanflarnas a Z LII ~ svhs.a