Butte record., 1855-09-01
The Fifth ROek of Samuel. the Scribe uBto
the Mereuri2ls.
CHAPTER |.


the Mereurials.
CHAPTER /.
l. To your tents, O, Mercurians.
"Greeks" and "Sour-Krouts y for Sam
is about yea, even in your very midst.
3 The Wise men of the South did
encompass him round about, and did
smooth him on the right cheek and on the
left, and Samuel" hastely departed =
for the courage abided not in him.
8. Now "Samuel'' straightway repaired
to the city of Penn, and there assembled
in secret conclave his Chief Priests and
Scribes, and unto them he made sad
lamentations.
4. For he was wayworn and weary and
sorely yexed in spirit for the .'Unterri-
fed" south of the line called Mason &
Dixon's, did handle him-without nit.
tens
5. And when he had related unto his
Chiefs and Scribes the evils that had be-
fallen him. the dangers through which
he had passed in the land of the Woolly
Heads" they gnashed their teeth and
cried aloud vengeance.
6. Then did Robert, whose surname
is "Cade" the chiefest ''Know Nothing''
Of them all, wax exceeding wroth, and
speechIfy prodigiously!
T. But the odor from the yials of his
wrath overcame his weak nerves, and
there being no stjmulants in the council
chamber of Sam Robert had-a spasm ,
s. And when the disciples of ''Sam"
who had assembled from the North and
the South, the East and the West, and
the Island called Tinieum, beheld what
had happened unto Robert they straight
way adjourned
9. Some of the house of Bridges &
West, the publicans, and others to the
bowers of the modern Deliah's where
Strangers are taken in"
CHAPTER II.
/. And it came to pass on the NOR
row that "Sam" sounded the tomjohn,
and straightway his anointed again gath
cred round about him.
2. And from the hearts Of the faith
ful' there went up prayer of thanks
giving and praise-an offering for the
deliverance of their prophet out of the
hands Of the Virginians
3. Now among the chosen of "Sam"
in council assembled were Barkers, Picks,
Prenticez, Gardner, ,Nightingales, Brooks,
Churches Parsons, Cranes, Pyles, Cones,
Slaughters, Books, Buttss, Cases, Bells,
Shafps, (Flats,) Lyons, Hoags, Pixies,
and other odd f-h. who spouted like
whales for SPIRITS moved them power
fully
4 And Albert, the mighty ''Poick"
Of the West, did sing the praise of Sam
and George, of cod Kintuck," and
Kenneth of the sold North State,' did
whistle in chorus most beautifully
5. Then arose Barber, Chief Priest
from the city of Gotham, who A0oled
loud and piteously: then sat himself
down and prespj1ed.
6. Then followed William and John,
and Joseph, and Thaddeus, and Daniel
the Gothamite, who glorlfed Sam, and
cried aloud" "crueify the Pope %
7. And suddenly there arose a great
in the camp of Samuel
s. The 'Dough-faces' clamored loudly
and the 'Fire-e1ters' waxed exceedingly
wroth.
9. But the "Tooth-Pick" of Arkan
sas, and the "Persuader" of Colt, caused
a change TO come over the spirit Of re-
bellion, and the belligerents became sud-
denly docile.
10. Then straightway the council fires
were extinguished, and Samuel" COM
manded his disciples to depart in peace
and they obeyed his command.
CHAPTER III.
l. Now it came to pass on the evening
of the fifty day of the week known in
those days as Thursday,) that the faited
calf was killed, and great feast was
prepared, unto which the Chief Priests
of "Sam'' were invited.
2. And they partook freely, without
money and without price.
3. But from all others who partook
thereof, there was demanded ten pieces
of silver lawful currency Of the realm.
4. But the "Greeks" and the "Sour-
Kroutsr would not contribute dime
no not single red
5. Now at this feast, prepared by
Thomas the Ethiop, presided Robert, as