Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1855-05-24

FOR tue Eaton democrat.
Leaves from an Anchorite's Portfolio.
LEAF-NUMBER TWO
"HERMrrAGE," March %.
All capacities cant climb
To comprehend the true sublime.
UnknODn.
Twas a glowing day toward the confines
OF April, Aurora had just usheTed in the Sun
God, which shed its resplenjant light on the
adjoining .pig-pen, aud guided its Shingled
roof with masSy gold. The loud Sonotous
breathing Of the occupant Of the next room,
with now anu then an occasional sncre, re-
minded US Of the grinding Of an old rusty cUi-
fee-mili-felt like kicking him down stats
but didn't--very chilly, from the cool morning
air forced into the privacy of our chamber,
through the wooden and paper paneS-waS
aroused by an upToar as II a peal OF thunder
burst over the Gus -top-our FIRST thought,
could 1t be possible we were transported 10
Sebastopol, but on listening attentively, found
il was a Chinese gong cracked lancled old
CerberuS let loose, and Vulcan forging lhun-
GerbollS for JupIter-felt very like a swapping
turtle IN June-got up, dressed hastily, brushed
our huir with the Jerusalem OUertaLer, washed
in The Universal basin, cleanSed our teeth with
The city toothbrush, and knotted our neck
h-d-k-l ala mode-stepped out, and thought
ourself the best looking fellow in The country,
ready to captivate any young maiden on HE
left hand side Of forty, and hold her charmed,
while it payed-enjoyed a smile with our host
before the sounding OF ''the call 20 aIms,' ana
made a rush for the bTeaE fast room, determined
10 appease our alimentativeness, bowed 10
The hostess, and stepped forward to Pa.rtake
Of puddings, pancakes, steaks and pies,
All so arranged 70 be attacked
That every lip with blissful rapture smack'd.
Breakfast over, bill paid-would advise the
landlord to 90 10 the Crimea, he is SO good on
a charge-got into,a cabriolet with our friend
Jerry, and an old lady, thought our chariot
reSembled those used in the Olympic games,
started for the R. R. Depot, horses run of,
spill US, old lady in the gutter given 10 scold-
ing nS we started on shank's mare, heard her
mutteTing indistinct sentences ending in ID!
arrived at depot, locomotive Steaming asmiIdly
rs a tea kettle, Jumped on board, recognized
by our friend "MeaSleS, "-''ballO, Anchorlle,
how goes it,"-thanked him, felt very we'll
took our seat, was accoSied by a miniature
representation c. The Jack OF. clubs TO buy
some gingerbread, thought it strange 10 see
such a close intimacy existing between Ain
and the conductor, heard they wete partners
in The cake line Of business, The profits on be
half of the conductor being dealt in "quGytfr-
sections" heard o little urchin who cried out,
"The Republcan,"-'laleSt news from the
Crimea'-''Synopsis of General CasS' great
Speech"--"Cuba proclaimed under Martial
Law" and "DoeSticks in love, &c, &c.
paid ten cents and got one, just as he stepped
off the cars, found he had sold US an old copy
VI the "Auzieger des WeSLns"-we felt very
much likeSir William i;raper, after his cele.
brated - cnrrespondehce-considerdbiy used
up! tried to employ our friend "MeaSleS" as
a translator, who politely informed me he had
never studied The cassics-slopped at The next
station, got three extra passengerS-a woman,
a baby, and a dutchman the latter being
called on for his fare, produced two dollar
broken bank biIl-was fotcibly elected from
he cars, left him tragically exclaiming, $50
era mon de be d-m,-siock him on de coof jake
init de brick stinp, dunder un Niren." Ar.
rived at Carlyle, surprised TO find the R. r..
Co. went 10 such enormous expense in build.
ing such comfortable depols-though: the in.
ventOr Of the dram shop. on wheels ought TO
get II patented, as it is extremely convenient,
particularly to old topers in the morning
Started for the Juncli n, run Of the rate Of
four hours to d mile, arrived, made the ac
quaintance Of Peter Postlewaiih, who tumbled
The baggage. fuSS'd about, gave orders, but
still succeeded in doing nothing; from appear.
anccs he kept his spirits up by pouring spirits
dOwn. French cooks in demand at this point,
while waiting for the cars left our initials on
a dusty pic.
Cars arrived, and now for "EdYPT AND TIA
PYRAMIDs!' whistle sounded through the deS-
et prairie, and the iron horse was once more
under way. Friend Measles called our atten-
ton 10 the conductor, poking a lady under
the .fJh rib with his fore fnger and crying
''tickets;" he reminded us Of Bishop Onjer-
donk feeling for apple seedS-rumb!ing, tum.
bling, topsy-turvy on we went, with The dis.
patch of a telegraphic communication, whiz-
zing, snoring, till we fancied ourselves Argo
nant forty miles above mother earth, running
a race with Absolem, the spell increased,
held on tightly, fancied we heard a woman
squealing and a baby screechiug-thump--
thump-bang through the window, as if shot
out OF the Lancaster %gun--over the baggage
car, in The arms of MOrpheus- spell broken
mp 10 our hips in the ditch, holding in our arms
a niger girl, and the cars Off the track--aG.
rived at Cairo-and-retired.
]. II. C. S.