Daily American organ. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1856, 1855-05-26
The Little Courtesies of Life.


"Tl seems" said he, If he SO valiant be-
That he should be so stern to stranger wight;
For seldom yet did living creature see
That courtesie and manhood ever disagree
SPESsER.
The little things Of life have far more effect upon
character reputation friendship and fortune, than
the heartess and superficial are apt to imagine
There are few, indeed, however rough by nature,
who are not touched and softened by kindness and
courtesy. A civil word. a friendly remark, gem
erous compliment, an affable bow of recognition,
all have an influence; while surliness, ncivility,
harshness, and ilLtemper, naturally enough pro-
duce an effect exactly the reverse. The American
people, as whole, are perhaps not remarkable for
courtesy. They are 80 actively engaged in the
hustle Of life, in the onward movements of COM
merce and trade, that they have little leisure TO
cultivate and practice those polished refnements,
which are the results of education, of travel and
of enlarged intercourse with society. Neverthe-
less we are not discourteous people, and, in the
great cities, the proprieties of manner, and the
civilties Of form are attended to with a commend
able degree Of exactness.
Lady Emmelne Stuart Wortley who, some time
since, travelled in this country, describes the citi
zens OF the United States as particularly courte-
GUS and obligng"
But lady Of refinement and accomplishments
and travelling as well for information for plea
sure could scarcely gather another opinion for the
commanders of our steamboats,, and the conduc-
tors Of our railroad cars, proverbially polite
while In intelligent circles, everywhere throughout
the Union, reputable stranger would Of course re-
ceve marked and kindly attention. Still, We are
bound to confess that we are deficient in many of
the little courtesies of lf-courteses that are adj
pirahly calculated to sweeten the intercourse of
society," the interchange of friendly feeling, and the
general communion that takes place from day to
day, between neighbors and companions. The ex-
a.. IL l. 49,
practice the civilities TO which referthat they
are too much engaged In more important matters.
Thus friendly visit viii not be repaid, polite
note viii be left unanswered, neghborly call win
be dsregarded, pleasant smile will be met with
cold look of Indifference, and cordial grasp Of the
hand win be responded to with reluctance, If not
surprise. All this may mean nothing, and yet the
effect upon the mind and the heart Is chilling and
painful.
The mistake that too many of us make is, In
supposng that the courtesy is to be all on one
SIDE that are TO receive every kind Of attention.
and return nothing And this 10 M error which
prevails in various phases Of life, and TO greater
extent than people are apt to imagine. The af.
fairs Of this world should be reciprocal. A person
may be willing 70 confer obligation again and
again But unless there be some manifestation Of
q attitude and Of ppreciaton--unless, indeed the
disposition be apparent 70 do something in return,
the party that confers favor after favor viii In the
end grow weary of well doing, and seek out some
more grateful or more sympathizing object. We
are all more or less selfish, and that description Of
selhshncss which exacts an acknowledgement by
word or by deed, either for friendship extended or
affections lavshed Is, perhaps, as little censurabe
"a any Of the infrmities Of poor human nature
It. indeed, IL may be called an infrmity. We have
somewhere met with the remark that there is no
such thing as unrequited love-that love, which is
not rcquited, win soon TO exist, inasmuch
the very nature Of the passion renders mutual re-
gard essential to It's continued existence In the
general sense this theory may be correct but there
are, Of course, exceptions IT. therefore, in grave
matters or the heart, matters In which our all Of
earthly happiness may be said TO be involved, re.
ciprocity or kindred feeling Is absolutely essen.
tal how much more win the doctrine apply 10 the
little courtesies Of life