Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1855-02-15

wide celebrty-JO MiHer.
Damplv Yours,
OK. PnrLANDER DoEsTrcKs, P. B.
--~~~~~~-,~~-~----~~>~~-~>-
The Lamentation Of he, Doestick's.
Seventy hundred and One, Narrow st.
New York, Jan. 90, 1855,
Sorrow is upon the heart, heavy grief upon
the soul, and great affliction in the home OF
me, Doestc.s. My friend, the charm of my
chamber, the comforter Of my lonely hours, |
the treasure Of my heart, the light OF my eyes, /
the sunshine Of my existance, the borrower #
nv clean shirts, and my Sunday pantaloonS, |
the permanent clothing and fancy goods BIT
or Of my life, is no more. My sack cloth gar |.
ment is no. yet complete my tailor having dis !
appointed me; but dust and ashes lie in alter.
nate strata, undiS:urbed upon The head of me,
Dnesticks. Weep with me sympathizing world,
bear helping hand to lift away this heavy
load of surrowful sorrow, Of woeiul woe, Of
bitter bitterness, OF agonzing agony, of wret-
ched wretchedneSs, and tonurng torture,
which now afilctS wi;k its its direful we ight,
the head of me, Doesticks. Igrieve, mourn,
lament, weep, suffer, pine, droop;
despair, writhe in agony, fee Rad.
l}amphonl has departed this life.
He is buried, but he is not dead; he is en-
tombed, but he is still alive. After metrop
olitan existence ofa few months had parla lily
relieved him of his rural verdurc; after having
seen with approaching eyes the suburbs OF a
town which alone contains the entire and un-
divided ElepkGnt, he has voluntarily exiled
himself to sagnaut village in the Western
wilderness a Sleeplly ma liciouS little, town
lie. vainly, for many years, aspiring 10 the dig
nifty of city hood, but which still remains a
very baby of city not yet (metiphorically
speakng) divesteG of those rudimentary trau-
gnlar garments peculiar to weaklnss in an
undevelcped State-without energy enough to
cry when it it is hurt, ORE ead-ism sufficient
10 keep its nose clean.
A somnambuliSlic town for in spite OF all
the efforts made for it glorifcation, it has OBJ
stinately refused to shake off lis municipal
drowsinesS--a very Rip Van Winkle of town,
now in the midst of its twenty years nap, anG
which will arouse sometime and find itself so
diapidale that IFS former friends wont recog-
nize ia town which actua'l2es that ancient
fable Of the hair and tonoSe--and trusting 10
its capabihty Of speed, has gone fast s'eep at
the beginning Of the course, only ioawaken al
some future day to the fact, that, all lis tor
toise neghbors have passed it on the way, and
, il has been diStanced in the race, rather than
, be disturbed in It's comfortable snooze. A
very sepuIchre Of town, into which if a mar
= would be voynger in the stream OF earnest
, life be cast away and stranded, he is as much
, lost 10 the living world, as if he were embalm
:, ed with oriental spices, and shelved away II
: The darkest tomb of the PharOabs. A towr
= whose future greatness exists only IN the I'm
: agination of its deIuded habiers, whose enter
prise and public spirit are fabulous as The
h IPhnnix. A Town whchwill never be city
. save in name, until telegraphS, railroads, col
n eges, churches, Libraries and busy ware house
Q become Indigenous 10 the soil Of the WoIve
: rines and spring like mushrooms from tn
earth, without the aid Of human mind to plan
|; or human will 10 urge the work, or huma
II hand 10 place one single stone.
= For, sooner than this dormant town shall b
k matured into houriShiug city by the men VIII
o doze away their time within its sleepy limits
;, the dead men Of Greenwood shal! rise fror
: their mossy graves and pile their marble m n
n uments into a traGeS-man'S market house -
d Yet here has the lale lamened Damphool re
|. solved 10 bury himself, establishing thereb
e an undisputed title TO the expressive name b
:, bears; and can only hope in his exile, som
:, stray newspaper may be wrecked within hi
r, reach, that he may come TO know the preSen
e heartfelt, lament of ne, DoeSlicEs.
l. | have ever tried, . mighty Damphool. |
N forgive thy faults and overlook thy lrall'ies
p Some have lnsInuated that thou Weft SENS
o even unto meanness-"quieu sH6s|' som
n, have said that thou weTt Ia2y' Uut such nav
t. never seen thee eat. That thou weTtlopp'S
lie to degree! could forgive thy Shanghna
S, coats, thy two acre turn down colgrs' ana III
p, pantaloons so tight that thou hadst 10 pu
to them on with boot hooks; thy gorgeous ctaV'
Ip with its bow projecting on elthet sue IKE
o SiIken wing; thy lemon coloTed ki"S; my eau
ly brio coloreG haGdkerchieiS' dripping WIN con
ID pounds TO me unknown anu my hlahN'
" shawl which made thee resemble hqil oIte
in scotchmnn. | conlh overlook me boatC,'
to school SIN OF the Miss Nancyish ''odrhsl,
filed with poetry rejected ot me prSes' WI
he unmeanlng prose- with dySpeptlc cohplaln u,
of of hard fortune, or bilious repInlngs al u