Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-01-04
Gast&rn Times.
Written for the Eastern Times
TIL E FAT DEACON.

for the plety of the herewith mentioned lndl-
vidual. Nothing would grieve its author more
than that any one should suppose the finale to
be intended to place the church, its members
or ordinances in ridiculous light, than which
nothing could be farther from his purpose.
Ivenerate the man whose heart is warm
Whose hands pure, whose doctrine and whose life
Concident, exhibit lucid proof
That he is honest in the sacred cause.
If, however, religious men do get into ride
ulous positions, J trust it is not necessary to
lessen our reverence for their doctrines, if we
amuse ourselves at their misadventures.
The good old man is now in Greenwood
lying in very pleasant nook, where the sun
shines at MONDAY, distorting the iron railing
of his scanty lot into grotesque figures, which,
fading, lengthen as if longing to reach the
stagnant pool, where the sun, gradually de-
sertlng their company, leaves a faint glimmer.
Sometimes an old friend, enticed by the war
bling OF veteran robin, whose nest is in that
moss grown elm, will linger to muse on the
charity, piety and bigotry of fat old deacon
1t was thus | stumbled upon his grave, and
found there an old porter, from a small dry
goods house in Broadway. Happening to
mention that | had once known the man there
reposlng, my companion, swaying to and fro
on battered cane, commenced such an eulogy
as went to my heart. 1t seems that the dea-
con, being bookeeper in the same employ as
the old DOrfer on Ona occaS drau from, hiS
salary small amount, but large proportion,
and gave 1t to the porter to buy such luxuries
as tea and jelly for his sick wife, continuing
this provision as long as necessary. Thus it
was no wonder that the gray-haired porter, a
little garrulous with slight flush of enthusi-
asm, should dilate on the cheerful good morn
Ing, he gave every one, 'even to the apple
woman at the door, or his kindness in warn
ing the young clerks to avoid dissipation, and
on his pious horror of operas and dancing par
ties. The sun was then declining, and not
being able to see my companion distinctly,
listened TO his quaint language and kindly
sentiments with considerable interest. not les
sened by the fact that too had experienced
some of the honest intentions of the corpulent
old man. To call him corpulent, however,
gives little idea of his immensely; in fact,
nothing could, unless we could hunt up at the
haberdashers some old coat of his, or learn
his measure at his tailor's On account of the
multitude of lsaacs and Aarons, fear the first
would be impossible, and as for the second
expedient, do trust his tailor, (if living) has
sufficient self respect not to acknowledge such
ill-ftting habits. Like Fallstaff, he had not
seen his shoes for many years (perhaps not
suffering any loss from it) and like him when
he died, he 'babbled of green fields but how
different In each and every other respect
Women were, except his wife, admired by
him at distance, which certainly must have
lent some of the enchantment, through which
he regarded the sex as for sack, his near
est approach to it was huge sack-coat with
capacious pockets and skirts long enough to
meet the present fashion; while drinking
houses never felt the pressure of his strangely
fashioned shoes save on one occasion, for
which visit we should not severely blame him,
inasmuch as it was made at the instgation of
wild clerk feigning repentance, and under
the influence of representations that it was a
prayer meeting. 1t being a concerted affair,
the most inveterate topers hailed him as a
boon companion, slapped his back and swore
terrible oaths that he should not leave them
till he was as tight as his boots, or the ale
butt. And thereupon one of the wags made
several jokes upon the responsibility of cob
blers, and inquired with knowing wink why
if it was right to tap boots one mightnt do the
same by barrel, and referred the question to
the bar, all of which facetie were received
with such rapturous applause as is only given
by those who have but a slight idea of what
they are applauding. One little man with a
dirty face, evidently drunk, hugging the table
leg, was singing in a maudlin tone--'Come
rest on this BOSOM which the wine glasses
appeared to be preparing to do. Our deacon,
whose chin had acquired that grave and i'm
posing form, which is generally described by
prehxing the word double to that expressive
feature, drew himself up with neffabe scorn
threw off his prosecutors, and rushed home
but neglecting to leave behind some bottles
which one of the wits had put in his sack
pockets; and having face flushed by indig
nation and exercise, he met with mild re-
proof from his wife and severe lecture from
his employer against whom he stumbled as ht
waddled homeward. No wonder, then, tina
he should regard this as the most mserabl,
event of his life, perhaps excepting one. Th
was when he was once pursued by bull owe
meadow, and hard up towards narrow still
through which his huge body could not pass
OF course being brought to stand he natural
ly expected an eronautic expedition from tn
horns of the bull towards the horns of tn
moon, which he argued would have bee
worse than horn of brandy. But the beas
misinterpreting his pause into a rally, becam
suddenly diffident and waited for the gentle
man to make the first advances. Shaking hi
head as if with some doubt as 10 the prophet
of a rencontre, his politeness seemed as indie
tatigable as that of the French officer, who i
reported to have requested his enemy 9TH
English) TO 'alIow him to cut up the elevent
hrinada do fbo fovo 20 4.