Daily American organ. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1856, 1855-06-23
From the Evening Post.
The Memoirs OF sydney smith.

The long looked for Memoirs Of Sydney Smith,
by his daughter, Lady Holland, (edted by Mrs.
AUSTIN have appeared at last. We embrace the
earliest opportunity Of giving our readers taste
of them.
Sydney Smith had once to go to Court, and this
Is his description of what occurred:
~ found my colleague Tate, the other day, in
his simplicity, consulting the Archdeacon Of New
foundland what he should wear at the leyee--a
man who sits bobbing for cod, and pocketing eve
ny tenth. However, did worse when went, by
consulting no one; and through pure ignorance,
going TO the leyee In shoestrngs instead Of shoe
buckles.
found, to my surprise, people looking down
at my feet. ! could not think what they were at.
At first thought they had discovered the beauty
of my legs, but at last the truth burst on me, by
a good joke ] was, of course excessively an
noyed TO have been supposed capable Of such
vulgar, unmeaning piece of disrespect and kept
my feet coyly under my peticoats as the veriest
prude in the country till could make my escape !;
soperhaps after all had better have followed my
friends example,
While residing at his living in Combe Florey, a
pompous little man in black was ushered in one
morning, who announced that he was compound
ing history of the distinguished families in Som.
ersetshire, and called TO obtain the Smyth arms"
so valuable work. for the Smyths never had any
arms, but sealed their letters with their thumbs
In the conversational ana with which the vol
umes abound, we meet with the original Of the say
ing which has lately been popularized among the
administrative reformera.
Ysu will generally see in human life the round
man and the angular man planted In the wrong
hole but the Bishop Of --, being a round
man, has fallen into triangular hole, and Is far
better off than many triangular men who have fall
en- into round hoesn
being asked If he were going to be married. Per-
haps he may: yet how can bishop marry how
can he flirt? The most he can say is, will see
you in the yestry after SERVICE
The hierarchy was an eternal theme for his
drollery. Thus" We naturally lose illusions as
we get older, like teeth, but there Is no Cart
wright TO fit new set to our understandings. /
have, alas only one illusion left, and that Ia the
Archbishop of Canterbury" Again: at is a
great proof Of shyness to crumble bread at dinner
oh, see you are afraid of me, turning to ayoung
lady who sat by him) you crumble your bread.
do 1t when sit by the Bishop Of London, and
with both hands when sit by the Archbishop"
OF his living in Yorkshire, he said, cit was actu
ally twelve miles from lemon"
He once wanted to know why If sailor were
for not doing his duty, you should not
weathercock parishoner for not paying his tithesS
lie announced the arrival in London Of a New Tea
land attorney as gentleman who had 6s. Sd. tat
tooed all over his face. Hearing of the difficulty
Of coughing down speaker, he recommended a
trial Of the hooping-cough. Niebuhr's discoveries
he described as {" Roman history reversed; Tar
quin turning out an excellent family man ; and
Lucretia avery doubtful character whom Lady 49,
would not have visited"
Daniel Webster he likened to a steam-engine
in trousers" Illustrating the mode the Irish have
Of doing everything differently from other people,
be said that when the Dublin mail was stopped and
robbed, one Of the passengers heard sweet fe-
male voice behind the hedge exclaiming, Shoot
the gintleman, then Patrick, dear" Seeing child
strike the shell Of turtle, he asked the reason,
and the answer was to please the turtle -
whereupon Sydney said 1t would be as much to
the purpose to strike the dome of st. Pauls to
please the dean and chapter. Children, he said on
another occasion, are bored with the wisdom Of
Telamachus and can't think why Calypso is fond
Of him.
OF Miss Fox, (niece Of the statesman he said,
1t Bowood, the Lansdowne's seat, that she was
perfect, as she gave him the idea Of an aged
angel. OF dressed Venus which he once saw
IN a serious family, he said it was the Venus
Millinaria. On examining some flowers in
garden, beautiful girl, who was of the party,
come TO perfection "Permit me, them" said Sgd
ney, gently taking her hand and walking towards
he plant, q to lead perfection TO the pean OF
rio Of other ladies' he said, "0h, they were all
70 beautiful Paris could not have decided between
hem, but would have cut his apple into slices"
Of Lady Murray's mother, who had most benev-
Dlent countenance, he said her smile was so radi-
that Il would force gooseberry bush into flower
He hated dogs, and on being asked by lady for
q motto for her poodle, he suggested, "0ut damn
ed Spotr but she didn't think II sentimental
enough, though thoroughly Shakspearian. or
bores, though he said there were no criminals like
them, as they we're unpunishable, he was very toll.
Grant, saying he never met with one all the time
he lived in the country, but certain dean, who
be declared deserved 10 be preached to death
by wild curates."
Being asked by lady II be had been remarka-
BILE az boy, he replied that he was remarkably
FAT boy, and was intended to have been Chinese
supercargo, TO Hong Kong Complaining Of his
feebleness as he drew nigh death, he said he felt
30 weak that II knife were put into bis hand he
should hardly be able TO stick II into Dssenter.
Speaking Of diminutve men who were among
the most eminent In the world, he instanced his
friend jeffrey, and added that there was another
name not given) who had "not body enough TO
cover his mind decenty with--his intellect was
improperly exposed" Jeffrey once coming to see
him, rode into the farm-yard on a young donkey
he found outside and Sydney, the instant, hail
ed him with a couple Of couplets thus
Witty as Horatius Flaccus
As great Jscobin as Gracious;
Short, though not 40 fat as Bacchus,
Riding on little jackass
This effision had nearly produced disastrous re-
suits afterwards for It took such possession OF
certain gentleman, that when on the point Of being
to Jeffrey at Holland House, the imsge
copjured up by the lines almost suffocated him.
Better still was his rhythmetical refusal Of an inv
tation TO dinner at the Fishmongers Han Intro.
ducing all the piscatorial alurements, sauces. and
30 forth) on the score Of prior engagement TO
Homer, Of whom he once said that he bad the Ten
written on his face, and looked 30
virtuous that he might commit any crime, and no
one would believe in the possibility Of his guilt
Being once called out by poor woman to chris
ten child Immediately, as 1t appeared to be dy-
ing, and asked on his return In what state he left
4, Sydney answered: IL gave II a dose Of castor
oil first and baptized IL afterwards, 40 now IL is
ready for either world" This mention of the oil
will appear less strange when II is added that he
was sort of physician general to the poor Of his
and studied medicine and surgery
In on aI;fv hfrnaaIf aavino.