davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14
Young Man.

Have Won got library! No. Why
not? can'talTord il. Why can't you ailo'd
il! Because am too poor. Do you smoke
segars, eat oysters, and drink brandy
smashes! Yes. all three. How much
do they cost YOU per annum! \ tu0e-a
mere trine-onlv mere uide. How
much do they cost you a day! Well as
I am very temperate, only about dine
for segars, llneen cents for liquor, and 4
Quarter for oysters. At the end OF the
year do YOU feel any better than YOU
would if vou had RETAINED from the use
of scgars, and oysters! No, | can't say
lhat 10. Wei they cost you fIy cts;
or little more than one hundred ANA
eighty dollars per annum. Oh, not so
much; bat stop, let me see-yes You are
righl--Sl60 year. Now that sum would
purchase you first rate library; yet YOU
spend it for " What--aye for what Do yoa
not comprehend the reason that You are
too poor to have a Gbrary--do you COM
prehend the reason!
Save your money for books and for
that which Is ustI %, and heG'H me ,'."''"
by subscribing ior the S"rphcEGs'0""
Register.
THE Nrv>g,PrR.--Thosc persons hay.
inc cbar,e Of families. who 10 not see
lhrm sunplicd with at leas, one good mis-,
ceIIancons paper, leave very important
duty unluliIrd. Such a medium Of IN.
,trurlion has many advantages over books
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14
G5JCIJI4NB0U3o
No Business to he a Bachelor.

In the vast nowery field of human al-
fection the old bachelor is the very scare
crow Of happiness, who drives away the
little birds that come 10 steal away the
hemlock seeds of loneliness and despair.
Where is there more ptiable object IN
the world than man who has no amlabIe
creature interested in his welfare ? How
dismal does his desolate room appear
whenhe comes home al night, wet and
hungry, and finds cold hearth or bar
ran table--aGd lonely pillow, that looks
like the white urn of every earthly ENJOY
ment See the sick Cd bachelor, in the
dark afternoon of life, when his heart is
sinking to its sundown Not solitary
star of memory CLEANS over the dusk OF
his open grave--no weeping wife 10 bend
Ike blessing over his dying hed--no
fond daughter to draw his chilly hand into
the soft pressure Of hers, and warm his
icing blood with the reviving fires of un-
failing afection--no manly boy to link his
breaking name with the golden chain OF
honorable society, and bind istory in the
vas! volume of the world he is leaving for
ever. He has eat and drank, and died
and the earth is glad she got rid of him;ior
he has done little else but cramp his soul
INTO the circumference Of siXPence, and
no human being but his washeIwoMan
will breathe sigh al his funeral.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

When Dr.. Beeswax had his seventh
boy, he exclaimed to his wife "We!l.
what in thunder shall we call him p"
''Why, I've settled on Peter" 81 never
knew man by the simple name Of Peter
thai could ever earn his salt" "WeII,
then, call him Salt-Peter."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

"What are You jumping after there y
said schoomaster to an urcblu who
stood up to his eyes IN shirt collar. 81
want to spit, sir, and was jumpin' up &c
try to spit over my dickey."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

There is place down in Virginia where
old maids never get to be over 30. They
live up to that age and then begin back al
twenty-five; and so go out Of the world as
iaiI as pumpkin blossom.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

An old sailor, at the theatre, said he
supposed that dancing girls wore their
dresses at half-mast as a mark Of respect
10 departed modesty.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14
AGENTS

Wm. II. PEAxE. Sun Iron Buildings, Bal'i-
more; G.. PIERCE, Philadelphia '. B. PALMER
New York.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Philosophers say that Figures cannot
Iie." This only shows that philosophy
is but little acquainted with the uses to
which women put cotton and coffee bags.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

"Not one cent for tribute, but millions
for de fence as the darkey said when a
bull was running him across the field.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Snufer-A walking dust hole.
Saiisfaction-Standing to be shot at.
Complment-A PalPable lie.
Grave-The physicians secretary.
Decay--An unknown word Ill an old
maids vocabulary.
Uvsterics--A woman's conclusive ar
gument.
Miser--One who lives upon nothing
and lays up the half of ii.
Shortsighteduess--An inventive Tor cut
ting duns and poor relatives.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

An editor out west says that ladies' wear
corsets from feeling OF instinct, having d
natural love of beng squeezed. We
wont give the fellows name.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

CLAMING RELATIONSHIPS AN old gen.
;Ieman named Radaieburn, IL New York,
becoming apprchenslvc that lie had not a
single relation in the world, published an
advertisement, desiring that all who could
claim kindred with the RaddIcburn family
should come forward, as there was a for
mue Of $4,000 TO be divided among
,hcm and in less than twenty. -four hours
he was visited b. no less than six aunts,
nineteen uncIes, twerly-nine nephcws,
ninety-four ncces, and one hundred and
aevcnly.iye cousins.
Ealing ones meat with silver fork,
while The butchers bill has not been paid,
is called geniee.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

A little girl had been playing in the
street until she had been pretty wei COW
cred with dust. In trying to wash it off,
she didn't use enough water to prevent
the dust from rolling up in little balls up
on her arms. In her trouble she applied
to her brother, lille older than herself,
for a solution of the mystery. Itwas ex-
planned at Once-to his satisfaction, at
least--'Why, SIS, you're made Of dust,
and if you don't stop you'll wash yourself
away y
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Refusing to pay your printers bills and
robbing hen roosl, are the same thing in
Dutch, only little differently expressed.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

friend of our "Tom's," somewhat
given TO mathematics, told him that he
married, in order that, by getting on IA
mliar terms with his wifes lips, he might
reduce by some fifty per cent. his sugar
hill
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Gentility coWrs much. Our friend
SiIkfuzzy lives on FIVE crackers and a cup
Of lean tea, TO enable him to sport a Ole
shirt; while Miss Showso boards at sew
en- shilling house, just for the geniIIry Of
appearing on the promenade, Sunday 81
iernoun, in satin and lOunces.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

The FAsnIoNs.-Bo Bonnets in New York
this season are not worn so much tlared
as they We're last the crowns droop more
and The front is slightly projecting. Flow
ers and lace are used in their trimming.
i-ad-es will learn with pleasure the new
style OF sleeve which opens in the front
iron the shoulder to the wrist, connected
by rows OF pearls, and exhibiting to the
admFing gaze the richest and most expen-
sive under-SIeeve. Then we have anotl-
er style fitting close to the arm. and end.
ing in deep fail, falling over the elbow.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Rosscau tells us that 10 write good
love letter, you ought to begin without
knowing what you mean to say and hn!sh
without knowing what you have said.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

If our Maker thought il wrong for Adj
am to live single when there was not a
woman on earth, how criminally guilty
are old bachelors. with the world full Of
pretty girls. Let young men think OF
this
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14
Grave of a Stranger.

The grave of stranger is hosy ground.
1t is not so, because his hopes are gone
that friends who Goated on him are dis
consoa;e-or because a female bends
over his coffin, and watches the earth
thrown upon it. Moths is not the
reason; it would be difficult 10 explain
whv it is So To witness the slow pro-
cession-a widow amoag the strangers,
laying her earthly hopes in q place remote
from lrends-the mourning kindness Of
neighbors, and to hear the coincidence Of
piely-,he blessing Of an aged and vener-
able clergyman, asking the assistance and
support Of dcvine power; all these occur
rences and scenes cannot but produce a
solemn impression.
And there may be friends at distance,
wishing and hoping for happy lidinSs in
relation 10 his health. The anxiety
which is occasioueG by sickness, cannot
be confined by space. 1t is in the air; II
looks on the stars, wishing them to tell
what they know; it asks of the moon,
..is our friend beJer" All this is easily
conceived. Bat can the stars publish lhc
truth? If the moon could transmit news,
how mauy hearts would beat when il
rises, and how many spirits sink ere II
goes down.
If five and half yards make perch,
how many will make catfish.
An Accomplished Lady-One who can
play on the piano and blush at iryiog
pan.
The rising sun is a pretty sight; but
when a pretty girl gets up to dance--my
eyes
Doctors lys who buzz about the
sores Of humanity.
Rosscau tells us that to write good
love letter, YOU ought to begin without
knowing what you mean to say ana hn!sll
without knowing what You have SAID.
Refusing TO pay your printers bills and
rnkhiucr - hon rprSi .rp tho game IN mo- in
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Ii is extraordinary how dreadulIy unro-
mantle j IluIe dose of malrmony makes
people. When the girls gel married they
are obliged inconnnenhy to substitute
mutton for moonlight, SHIRT buucns for
stars and bowers, dumping and darrlng
for dropping Iashes and dew smiles, Po-
ta,oes and picking for po.kas aud plays,
beef and brooms for bushes and b.rd ca
ges, feather brushes and wash-iubs f0r
flirting and waIizing, and mops for nusic.
Cultivate sentiment. 1t is great Insli-
tuition. He who sees in life nothing but
plates Of roast beef, onions, tomato sauce
and such "wordiy goods" has very mar
row view of humanity and what II oughi
to be about. Such should turn over q
fresh leaf al once, drop beef and bullion,
and take to poetry, music, Pain'!uE, low
ing the girls, and other ventilated delight
luls.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

An Accomplished Lady-One who can
play on the piano and blush at hyI0g
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

WoNAN's kIoHTs IN lLLyoIs.-The
following resolution was adopted hv the
House OF Representatives of the IliiDo,s
Legislature :
ReSoiyed, That fine Of $500 be here.
after imposed on any lady who shall lcc
lure in public in any part of tie State,
without putt 9 on genQemen's apparel.
MIR. Shorts says Kansas is great coun-
try. Rents cheap, because they have no
houses. Women rot expensive, because
Ibey don't have any. Society primitive
and no, particular. The men and hogs,
eauie and dogs, all lay in The same bed.
If YOU want 10 live like double breasted
Gghdng cock, go 10 kansas Inc o'a'S
saI!s frequently.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

If five and a half yards make perch
how many will make cat fish.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Union Is not strength, ~ ihr oil i"-
per said when he pGi walcr IA E!s bfan-
!,
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Doctors nys who buzz about the
sores CT humanity.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

Why sFe pair of skates Ike an ap-
pie Because they have occasi0Bed the
fall Of man.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

The rising sun is pretty sight; but
when pretty girl gets up to dance--my
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1855-04-14

An Iuslinan, on beng l0id to grease the
wagon, relUned IN about 81 hour after
wards and sajd---"l've graiz'd every part
ov the wagon, inside ana out, yer honor.
but. by tie blue hair nf Iiose>' VIZ. Ic4r'j
get at the Sticks tie wheels hang on,
gsra,
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-10
BOARD OF ALDERMEN.

FRIDAY, July AID. Isaac o. BARKER in the
chair, and quorum present.
The RAISING Of The Joseph tF1iter.-Ihe Control
Ter. in answer TO resolution asking under what au
thory lie paid mo, ey for the raising of the ship Jo-
scph Walker, &C. reported that the exact amount a.
ready paid was 3, 800. The warrants made pay
able 10 the order OF Walter X. Jones' and were based
on acquisitions of the Street Commissioner in the usual
ioip., Al the time the first equisition was presented
the Controller was informed that Mr.. Jones had made
aTropOsitiOn 10 raise the vessel referred 10, which
had been accepted by the Mayor; and also that MIR.
Jones had given bonds for the fuillment of the I'M
derlakng IL ia proper to add that the second requsi-
ton Of the Street Commissioner was originally made
for s. eco. Before the warrant was made out, IN
compliance with the requisition, one OF the cred.
iols Of Mr.. Jones obtained an injunction and
served COZ on the Finance Department for claim
Of II 100. Tie warrant therefore was made Tor 800
Tie balance held SUBJECT TO the orJer OF the ourt
The Court made order for the payment OF 81 500 ON
the clam against Mr., Jones, and warrant was made
out in pursuance 10 such order and signed by Con
troller. The Mayor refused 10 cOuntersgn the war
rant and hence the sum actually paid from the Treas
ury as before stated, $500
Tie following Message received from the Mayor, on
the same subject, with the papes attached were re-
ftrred to the special Committee who have the matter
in charge
GrSrLEsrS have the honor transmit herewith the pa
pers called Tor by ut6n adopted BY body July D ask
III for copies OF any correspondence with Water Jones 10
relation the Of the unkeB wreck OF the ship Joseph
Walker also any with said Jones for the Re-
noyal that vessel; snS resolutions upon the subject
passed b. the Commissioners Of HEALTH and also any commu'
m6e by citizens others relative the dangers Of
pestnepce sey arise from the drcayng vegetable matter
supposed 10 he contained In said wreck
A. this subject appea have attracted attention In the
Con Council beg state that 50 far the Arrangement
with Mr. Jones It made by myself pursu
Of wit deemed ample legal authority and that "a
raise that vessel he interests u the City
fully protected sud suffer any respect entirely
wiling assume all the responn II, Of the proceeding and
respectful invite any action which in judgment should be
''''" D." '"' '''D'''' ' FERNANDO WOOD
Pesolua0n-By AID. HERRrcK-To widen the side
walks of Nntl-st between East River and Fifth-ay.,
now in progress of regulaon) 30 feet, aud that the
owners OF property the street have permission to
incose feet in width of the sidewalks for court
yards smarto the regulation of portions OF tihay.,
Fourteenth Twenty-ih and Thirty -iourthsts. Re
ferred to Committee on Lands and Places.
The Board adjourned to Tuesday at Z. NJ.
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-10
An AMERICANS VISIT TO AN ENGLISH
UNIVERSITY.

We append fresh and peasanty-drawn picture,
furnished by a correspondent of The Boston Trar-
eer of one Of those great and gala days at English
University which answers to our Commencements"
AT this moment it possesses unusual interest. Ok
ford is one of the old things of England which, per-
haps obstnatey than any other, has refused to
part with rusty ideas and antquatei preudices 1t
is the nurse of arstocracy and the headquarters of the
favored and select established creed" The very
lions at its gates brste at the approach of issener
and in the joyous and unresraned cheer Of the youth
OF Oxford on Commemoration Day is more frankly
and generously spoken than in any other expression
or spot the real heart-feeling of those who, if
arstocracy is destined to live long, will be for the
next sixty years the governing power of England.
Time and thought may soften prejudice or give more
unfeered wing to progress, but the prejudice which
finds honest uttersnce in the Commencement cheer
will cling to the bones and more or less direct the opn-
ions Of ripper years. These cheers too, full of that
lustiness and truth which belong alone 10 youth,
speak the real sentiments of fathers who fear
popular opinion or are influenced by party
prejudice too much to speak as they think
In fact it is an earnest, joyous, generous gushing
voice of Young England. To many it may appear
strange that, at moment when American opinion, If
il takes any direction, nclines certainly toward Rus
STA, Embass ador should have been received with
such enthusiasm Of welcome in the greenhouse of
aisioeracy; but the anti-Englsh feeling which pre-
walls to so large extent here finds return among
me highest and lowest classes the other side. 1t is
une the English Gristocracy have, ss might be ex.
ptcted, rooted aversion to RepubFcanisl and
equahty' which would dcsive them OF Their exclusive
pvige and plumber, but their aversion 70 tbe inst-
eaions has never extended to the country or
ne men. webster and Clay and Calhoun are
eye2 more sstssmed in England than in tbeir
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-10
PUBLIC MEETINGS.
AMERICAN BInLE SOCIETY.

The stated meeting OF the Managers was held Of inc
BihleIIoue Astor-place, the 5;h inst, at Il PM
DR.. THorss Cock in tie chair, assisted by BENJANIS
L. SwAS, Esq.
Twelve new Societies were recognized, of which
three are in Texas three in Arkansas, four in south
Cer,lina. one in Tennessee, and one IN ONO
Letters were presented from Mr.. Philips Agent IN
Oregon show ing the need OF Bible distribution IN ths'
ye,,itorv. from Messrs Terrell Elliott, AMI Buel, in
regard 10 the work in their iedsi from Mr. Fighter
Of Copstantinople stating the demand for the Scrip
tines among the soldiers of the French srmy and the
Increasing interest of the Turks in the Bible, from the
Rev Mcssrs Good,ll and Riggs of Constantinope re-
run thanks for the cid this Society has rendered IN
publisLiug the Scriptures in the Eas', showing the
beneficial effect of the roAdne-room ana bloie de
positorv opened at Cous,antnOpe, and stating that
"a 600 Wilt before long be wanted 10 complete the puO
LEGATION of The Armeno Turkish Bible; from the Rev
Eli Smith, ID. D., Of BeyrOut, saying he had com
Melted the translation OF the Arabic Testament; DR..
Robinson from tie Committee on Versions, also read
uoe ecent letter from DR.. Smith. stating that since
the completion Of the Arabic Testament the Penta-
touch and several of the smaller books OF the Old les
lament bsve been translated from the Rev. W. Lob
sohed. Who interpreter 10 the Commission rom
the United States 10 Japan, recommending the trans
latiOn of tie Scriptures into japanese
Grants were made of books 10 Ashley and Bradley
County Bible Societies in Arkansas; 70 the American
SUNDAY school Union for the West; 20 the Sunday
School Union of the Methodist Episcopal Churchi TO
tie Protestant Episcopal Bible and Prayer Book So
ciei,; TO the Rev. ID. ID. Lore, Missionary of the
Methodist Episcopal Church in New-MeXico; beside
several others OF smaller amount in different lan-
euagts, including twelve volumes for the Bind An
AUTHORIZATION OF - 600 in money was voted 20 the
French and Foreign Bible Society.
New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1855-07-10
WOMAN LAWYERS.

he Editor Of The ~ y Tribune.
SIR: The case Of Mrs. Robinson, now under SEN
tence of death at Troy cannot fail to enlist the sym
pathies of every humane mind. presume thore Is no
doubt Of her outlines in the eye Of the law but the
career Of the miserable woman leaves doubt on the
mind whether she be not in reality insane
ally insane, and thus morally irresponsible-a fit can
ddate for the hospital rather than the scafod or the
penitentiary.
BE that as it may, her history, like that Of every
other woman who has ever in any way made herself
amenable TO the law points 10 great need in our
social sysem-I mean Woman Lawyers. Women
have no voice in legislation and be laws good or
bad they have made them neither the one nor the
other; men have devised them, and they still retain
many conceived in the days of their barbarism or g
norance which stand disfguring blos on the page
Of history. The death penalty is one.
II would seem that the progress OF humanity might
have induced them long since TO expunge this terrible
ultimatum from our civil code; but there il remains
terror far less TO evil dOers than TO the good and vu
ous The soldier by the conditions OF his profession,
overcomes the fear OF violent death. FamhanV
with accidents lessons the dread OF them as one OF
the contingencies of travelling and 80 the man
cad 10 shame and dead 10 all moral obllga~
tons loses with the wreck Of conscience, the
dread Of the gallows. IL is regarded as not
unlikely result TO his career and among bis wretch
ed associates the disgrace Of such death counts for
ment 10 man. always exposed 10 injury OF many kinds
from the teors of fight, and the infection Of wounds;
hence he himself NOT 10 escape the galows, ouI
to die game In this way the capital penalty does not
deter from crime but remains testimony of our bar
barism-a subject Of honor to the refined mind.
This is the tree statement where the penalty u 10 De
inflicted upon the male portion Of the race. Pesons
shut themselves in their houses when an execution
is TO take place. they avoid thinking about II; they
go into the country, and try in every way to direc'
the mind from the horrible catastrophe about 70 tsse
place. have known women to faint, and TO fall ino
fits and little child can in no way be brougnt.w
comprehend the proprety Of such an infection INC
community be ignorant and brutalized, they may
throng the thoroughfsres just they would crowd 20
fight or go TO witness any revolving exhibition w
the sake of excitement TO crafty deprayei tsSs,
which so many Of our mountebank shows help
stimulate. -,
In the case before us il is q woman. do not W.
eve the public feeling will allow this legal n1t" the
take place. There is O manly sense perVadin8 -
community which forbids X. The blind insone.
nearer the light Of truth than it s itseii conss''A'