Tribune and telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1855-1856, 1855-09-06
Scene in the New York Police Court

LIQUOR VS.. LATIN.
Malvern Richardson, long, lean, thin
looking individual. dressed in asuitofblack,
white neck cloth. and shovel hat, and
whose face was adorned with that peculiar
optical ornament known as a ''black eye,'
was brought up for intoxication. He said
he was schoolmaster by profession. and
had come to New York to see the City, had
been enticed from the paths of sobriety by
volunteer friends, who had left him drunk
in the street, minus his watch and money.
He had fashion of interlarding his speech
with every day well known Latin quota
lions. which were Indignantly resented by
the officer who brought him in, who, not
being versed in the dead languages, took
the innocent Latin phrases of the prisoner
to be some superlativs degree of lingual
blackguardism. in the mystery Of which he
was uninitiateG.
Judge-What is your name?
Prisoner Malvern Richardson hon
est one Dec Gratias.
Excited Officer-Please your Honor, he
says you're great ass.
Judge-Was you drunk yesterday?
L
| Excited Oficer-He says he knows more
as your Honor.
Clerk-Whatkind ofliquor did you drink
Prisoner-Gin, gin, gin, ad iajfnitun.
Excited Officer anxious to explain-He
says he drank a little gin, but he got tight
on rum.
Prisoner o temporal Omoresi
Excited officer. who begins to understand
Latin pretty well--He wants TO see Debo-
rah and Moses--I s'pose they're relations
of his'n. 8
Clerk-Where did you get your liquor?
Prisoner AT Dutch shop in Bowery
| ST am much ashamed of going into SO
low place. Hiec lilac lach,ynaae.
Excited officer, comprehending perfectly
He says the Dutchman first licked him,
then he sacked him.
Judge--You seem to be stranger in
town; where are you from? ia
Prisoner am a teacher, sir-a Latin
tutor in Smiths Univl rsity, Arkansas; a
month ago [ wasss instructing my beloved
pupils in the rudiments of the Latin tongue;
last night beheld me in prison Tempo
va mutant,tr, nos ct nautoD,a' in ills.
Excited officer, now thruughly acquaint-
ed with Latin-He is trying to tell you that
his sister Deborah danced her nose off at
Mrs. Somers' in Willis street.
Jndge--Officer, hold your tongue
Mr.. Richardson, do you know the penalty
of becoming intoxicated in the city?
Prisoner--Perhaps Ishall be drawn and
quartered; may be hung; possibly. only
damaatsts ad n,etalla.
Excited officer, alarmed for the dignity
of the Court.--Please your Honor do YOU
not know what he is about? He says you
are id old cuss, and he'll tell of you
| judge shall have to fine you $40.
Prisoner have not the money; vii
return to my avocation, and will amass the
sum and send it to you in fortnight, De-
volente.
Officer--He says won't somebody lend
it to him. .. r.
Judge-Since you cant pay shall loci
you up ten days:
Pris.--I regret it; but s'pose it's prc
bono puJlico.
Officer--Yes you're right; no funds and
up you go. So come along with me.
Prls.--l am truly fallen from my former
estate, but / can blame no one but myself
SIC transit gloria mundi.
Here the officer who had started will
Richardson toward the cells, hearing the
last sentence. and being smitten with com
passion. turned to the Judge with this ap
peal: "Pleasc your Honor, he says hi.
glorious old aunt has been sick since Mon
day"
The Judg shook his head. and the pro
cesslon moved on.--[N. Y. Tribune.