Eastern times., 1855-03-29

hood in their conversation, but very few who
can lie in the tones of their voice. So MANY
persons can act hypocritically, but there are
comparatively few whose manners are habitu-
ally deceitfu. Our words and actions are
more easily under our control than our tones
and manners 4; because the former are more
the result of thought, while the latter are al
most entirely the result of affection. Al
though few persons are distinctly aware of
this difference, every one is powerfully affect
ed by 1t. There is no physical quality more
powerful to attract or TO repel than the tones
of the voice; and this power is all the strong
er because both parties are usually uncon-
scious of lit and so mutually act and are acted
upon, simply and naturally, without effort or
resistance. Thus conversation often owes its
effect less to the words used than to the
tones in which they are uttered. An unpala-
table truth may come without exciting any
feeling ofirritation or opposition from one who
speaks with a tone of voice expressive of the
benevolent affections, and produce much good
nhlIC tlIC NCIf SAINT HOluS, ull6T6Q IN zone
of asperity or bitterness, may exasperate the
hearer, and be productive only of harm. 1t
has already been said, that manners bear the
same relation to life that tone bears to CONVEX
sation and good life loses great portion of
the power it might exert over those who come
within the influence of its sphere if it ultimate
itcalf in ,1DrracioDs nv rapulSiva r,orao~. l.
the old English writers we often find persons
characterized as Christian gentlemen or Chris
tian ladies'; and courtesy seems formerly to
have been clearly understood to be Christian
virtue. Our conflict with, and our escape
from, the aristocracy and privileges of rank of
older nations has caused a reaction, not only
against them, but also against the external po-
llteness which was connected with them, and
which was, and is too often, though certainly
not always, false and hypocritical and thus
the growth of republican principles has had
the effect to diminish the respect once enter
tained for good manners, and the mass of our
countrymen seem to look upon politeness as
an antiquated remnant of a past age, which
the present has outgrown as entirely as wigs
and hoop-petticoats. Ii is, however, curl
GUS feature in the change, that at no previous
time have the titles of gentleman and lady
been SO universally and pertinaciously as
sumed as at present. The rudest even are re-
sentful at being called simply men or women,
while they unconsciously show the weakness
of their claim 10 higher title by DENYING it
to those who they assume are no better than
themselves. The often-repeated anecdote of
the Yankee stage-driver who asked of the
Duke of Sake Weimer, Are you the man
that wants an extra coach - and on being an
swered in the affirmative, said, Then | am
the gentleman to drive you,' is an illustration
of what is going on continually around us.
A large proportion of the members of one
half of society stands in perpetual fear that
those in the other half do not esteem them
gentlemen and ladies' and yet it seldom seems
to occur to them to substantiate their claim TO
the coveted title by that cultivation of good
manners, which can alone make it theirs of
right.
The artificial manners and laws of social
life are SO overloaded with conventionalisms,
and knowledge of these is so often made a
test of good-breeding, that much confusion of
opinion exists regarding the requisites that
constitute the true gentleman and lady,
These titles belong TO something real, some
thing not dependent on the knowledge and
practice of conventionalisms that change with
every changing season, but to substantial
qualities of character which are the same yes
terday, to-day, and tomorrow.
The foundation of good manners is the sim
cere acknowledgement that we are all chill
dren of one great family, all one band of
brothers, each having right to receive from
the rest all the consideration and forbearance
that can be given him without diminishing the
portion that belong to the Others The rich
complain of the envy and jealousy Of the poor,
and the poor murmur because of the arrogance
and haughtiness of the rich yetif those among
the two classes who are guilty of these vices
were to change positions, they would change
vices too; for arrogance an the possessor and
envy toioards the possessor of wealth are but
differing phases of love for wealth based on
the love for that consideration in society
which it gives, and not for the power it yields
of added usefulness.
The il-bred fashionist sails haughtily into
the shop where she obtains materials for her
adornment, and with superciious air pur-
chases her ribbons and laces of a sulky girl,
who revenges herself for not being able TO
wear the costly gauds by treating as rudely as
she dares, the customer who can; and as they
look upon each other, the one with scorh, and
the other with envious hate, we see in both,
only the very same littleness of feminine vani-
ty, which inits narrow-minded Stiffness be-
lleves that the first requisite of lady is costly
garments.
1t would be a great mistake TO suppose that
in our higher society there are no good man
ners, none that are really good in essence and
purpose, as well as in form and it would be
an equal mistake to suppose, that in all socie-
ty of lower caste there is either want of true
refinement or an envy and distrust OF all that
Is above ii !; but it is also true that there is a