The Trinity times., 1855-07-14
Living in the Country.
NIr. SparrOwgra - Dcscends 10 the Infer
nal Regions on n DumS W,itcr

nal Regions on n Dum5 Waiter
Weextract the following humorous sketch
from IN article in Putt ans Magazine, ly
that witty writer. f. 5. CozzenS:
We have put Il dumb waiter in our house
y dumb waiter is u gooi thing Ia have in
the cpun'ry, on account Of its con SEA c zee
1t You have company. every thIng cau be
sent up from the Kitchen without amy trou-
blr. and, if the 5abv gets to be unbtar blr,
nD account Of hi. lee H. Non c,n dlSnIsS the
coup nj Iant by stutag hi - in one of the
shelvrs. and letting hun down upon the help.
|" provide tor contingencies. we had all our
floors deafncd Ia cons, quence. you can
not hear any thing that is going on in the
story below: and. wheu you are in an up
per room Ul the house, there mi ght br r
democratic ratification meeting IN the c,l
lar. and YOU would not know il. There
fore, il any cue should break mt the base
ment, it would not disturb Us /: but Ia please
Mrs. Sparrow grasS. put ,tout iron bars in
all the lower windows. Besides, Mrs Spar
'wglass bought rattle when she WAS in
Phai' phia, such a rattle as watchmen
carry there. THIS is to aaIm our nciglIbnr.
rtscGe with hls revolver He is rash
man, prone TO pull trigger first, and make
inquiries afterwards.
One evening. Mrs. 5. had retired, snd
was busy writing. when il s.rucx me Il glass
OF lc, wairr would be palitlblc So took
a candle and the pitcher, and went down 10
the pump. Our pump is in The kitchcn y
country pnmp ia the kitchen, IN more con
vrnrnt bat Il well with blckcls is crralnly
most picturesque. Unfortunately, our we'll
water has not been sweet since it was 81 an, Il
out. Flrst ! had to open hnllrd door that
lets sou INFO the hA>rn, nj hall and then
went 10 the kitchen donr, which proved To BE-
locked. Then remembered that our girl al
ways carried the key to bed with her aud
: e.t with it under her pillow. Thrn re-
traced my steps bnltcd the basement door
aud welt up IN the dining room. AS is al
way the ease, tnnnd wh,n could not get
ANY wat =. MAS thr>tirr than | supposed
waS. Then | thought | would wake our
glri up. Then concluded not 10 do IT, Then
| OPP ned the cOstt doors. there Was no water
there aud then thought of the dumb
waller The novelty of The idea II ade me
smile took out two oI the movable shelves
stood the pitcher on The dunn waiter. got in
myself with the lamp ct myself d"wE until
supposed was within foot of The floor
below, and then let g!
We caire down 50 suddenly. that was
shot out of the ap p)ara;us As ii II had been =
cata ult II broke the pitcher, eAllnguShcd
the lamp and landed me IN the middle nf The
XII chen, at midnight, ", til no fire, and the air
not much above the Zegc pant. Tho truth
is, | had m,calrulated the distance ol the de>.
cent instead of falling one foot. had
fallen five. My first impulse was. To ascend
BY the way | came down, but that | found
mpraetcabc. Then | tried the Kitchen
d"or, il WAS locked | tree, Ia i"rce II open
1t WAS made ~ tNo-inch stuff, and held it,
own Then hulStcd window, and there
were the rgld iron bars. II ever i,lt angry
at any b IDS il was at myself, tor putting up
these bars to please Mrs. Spnrruwgra.s. /
pat them up not 10 keep people IN, but 10
keep people out.
lald NV check against the ice cold bur.
riers aud looked ont at the sky: not Il star
visible it Was as b ack rs INK overhead.
Then thought Of Baron Trenck and the
p isonrr uf Chlllun. Then made nnlsc
/ shouted until was house, and ruined our
preserving kettle with the poker. That
brought our d"gs out in full bank, end he
tween us P'e made night hleuus. Then !
thought heard Il volcc, and lsltnvd--it was
Mrs. SpIrr"giass calling Ia me from the top
Of the star case. trlcd to make her hear
me, hut the internal dogs united with the
howl, aud growl, aud baIk 80 as to drown
my voice, which is naturally p'ainlsr and
t.i,dcr, besides there were two bulled d. ur>
4 L
coud she rccu9 iizs my ,oice, even If she
duI hear II YRS. spa rONgrass called once
or tv ice. and then got frightened the neat
hing heard was - sound an It the ropI ha
lalIrn in. by winch understood hat A.rS
~parrnwgra:S was splIEgin! the rattle hal
called ont our lrlphbor, ALREADY 'V'dv awake;
hc cane To tie rescue with bud ,rri'r, 81
Newfoundland pup. Il lantern, aud - rr'olt'r
The muuitnt he saw me al 'he window, he
shot ~ me threw ~, self unitr the Kitchen
tabl,. anl yenturcd % elposlulaIe "ith hIn,
but he would not lsicE 10 rcasun In Il a <
cltrm,nt had for. O'tUn his nhtnc. and that
male matters worse. II WAS not unl hc
had rnuS,d up every body nr"uud, broken ~
tie basement door wth an AK. gotten lnto lIte
lcirn with his cursed savage d"gs aud
shooting iron and seized ne by the col ar,
that he r,cogn zcd me, aud then, lac VIM cd
me to explain It! l.ut what knd Of an ~
Iilanat on could MAKE to him told him
hc would have to wait un ul my mind var
composed. and then would lei hW unic'-
stand the ~ l,ole matter fully. But lie never
would have had the partcuars ltohI me, Tor
| do not approve OF ncl2hbnr' that shoot AT
you, break IN your dpIr, and treat !ou, N
your own house. ~ if ou were Jn-bad.
He knows all about II. however -s".n boiy
la. tod hun ON dJ tells ey.ry body
vV,ry iliIn0 ~ "uf Village.
c. Q. IL. .-u, Lu...u ll-n nrlsnnnr- Mr.