Daily Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1854-1855, 1855-01-26
sreech Of Zachariah Spicer,

SNSs'Ns
the married man!'
M. President and Gentlemen-I rise TO
,d,ocate the cause OF the married man.
And why should ! not! ! claim to know
something about the institution, DO. Wiil
any gentleman pretend to say that 40 not!
Let him accompany me home. Letm CO :
front him with my wife and seventeen chi
dren, and decide.
High as the Rocky Mountains tower
above the Mississippi Valley, does the char
acter Of the married man tawcr above that
of the bachelor. What is bachelor
What was Adam before he got acquainted
with Eve, What but poor, shiftiess, in
signl6cant creature, No more to be COM
pared with his after-self, than mili-dam to
The great roaring cataract OF Niagara
[Applouse.
Gentlemen, there was a time blush to
say il. when was bachelor, and more
miserable creature you would hardly expect
to find Every day toi!ed hard, and at
night came home to my comfortless gar
ret-no carpet. no fire, no nothing. Every
.b;no was in a clutter, and in the words Of
the poet
aronfasion was monarch OF all he surveyed"
Here lay pair Of pants, there dirty pair
of boots; there play-bll, and here pile
ofdirty clothes. What wonder that took
refuge ut the gaming table and bar-room. -
found il would not DO, gentlemen, and IN
lucky moment | viewed TO reform
Scarcely had the promise passed my bps,
when knock was heard at the door, and
in came Susan Simpkins after my dirty
clothes.
.Mr. Spicar," says she I've washed for
YOU six months, and haven't seen the first
red cent in the way of payment. No" Id
like to know what you are going to do about
H."
felt in my pocket. There Was nothing
in il. and knew il well enough.
Miss Simpkins," said !, Its no use de-
ming T. haven't got the pewter. wish
for your sake had "
Then" said she promptly, 81 don'twash
anot her rag for you" .,
..S,on." Said /, ~Susan, ! will do what |
can for YOU. ST yer and gold have none;
bu, IL nv heart and hand will do, they are at
your service"
.Are YOU in earnest!" said she looking a
little suspicious
"Never more So" says |.
9Th NJ saws she, "as there seems TO be
no prospect of getting my pay any o'ner
way, guess will take up "ith your o.
fer"
Enough said. We were married IN a
week; and what's more we haven't repehted
il. No more antics, for me gentlemen.
live in good house, and have somebody 10
mend nv clothes. When was apoor NIL
erabe bachelor, gentlemen. used to be as
thin as weasel. Now ! am as plump as a
porker.
In concl, sion, gentlemen, il you want 70
be a poor, ragged fellow, without coat 10
your back or shoe 70 your foot; II you
want TO grow old before your time, and as
uncomfortable, generally, as hedgehog
rolled ND the wrong way" ! advise you u
remain bachelor; bat if you want to i've
decently and respectfully, get married
I've got ten daughters, gentlemen, lover
powerng applause and you may nave your
pick.
Mr.. Spcer sat down amid long continued
plaudits. The generous proposal win
which he concluded secured him hve sons
jn-law.
FooD FOR THE HUSoRY.-A 7. Stew
art e. Co., have opened soup kitchen IN
the basement oftheir store, on the Reaae-
st. side, where large cauldron OF soup Is
prepared and dealt out by detachment OF
the clerks, to all who apply, between IL ana
2oclock We visited the place yesterday
and found several Of the clerks, with aprons
and sleeves on, engaged in serving class
ofcus,omers somewhat different from those
they had Just been waiting upon in the dry
goods department overhead. About 6oo
persons had already been served, and others
were continually arriving. The soup Is
made very nutritious, of the best materiais
and neatest cookery, and it IS somewha'
curious to obserae the elias offs characters
who apply for II. We understand 1t Is Mr.
Stewards intention to keep up the supply
during the winter II is a noble private en-
terprise.-N Y. Tribune.
MAN IN PAssIoN.-A gentleman a
one of our hotels, the other day, bee ams
very indignant, and threatened to knoct
the barkeeper into the middle Of next wee
because that individual inquired where tht
stranger slept last night. The professor
OF gin-sngs meant no harm, he made the
inquiry for the number Of his room. This
tr'fing incident only shows how passion
ate men run their heads against snas'-
always think twice before you speak, es
pecially when you doubt.-Albdny ha1cSer
A DIspUrArrous Nativity, il is al
plain as that two and two make four
But deny THAT TOO for 2 and 2 make
90" tT eta a.1H
Can you tell me, asked pundit, "wh,
aconundrum that nobody can guess is lik,
H..Thost - "Shall tell van now or mex