Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1855-08-01
From the N. Y. Sunday Mercury.
The Fifth Book of Samuel. the Serihe, Unto
tho Merurlans. II.
CHAPTER /.

l. To your tents, o, MePcurians,
Greeks" and Sour routs!'' for Sam
is about, yea, even in your very midst.
2. The Wise men Of the South did en-.
| compass him around about, and they smote
him on the right cheek and on Tie left,
and Samuel hastily departed-@t0t the
courage abided not in him. HUH u
Now, Samuel, straightway repaired
to the city 81 Penn, and there assembled
in secret conclaye his Chief Priests and
scribes, and unto them he made "a lam
entations. etss.ss lsses
4, For he was way-worn and weary.
and sorely in spirit; for the "Unterrifcd," \
south of Tho line called Mason and Dix
on's, did handle him without mittens!
/ 8. And when he had related unto his
Chiefs and Scribes the evils that had be-
fallen him, and the dangers through which
he had passed in the .land Of Woolly
Heads they CRASHED their teeth and
cried aloud for vengeance.
+ g. Then did Robert, whose sirname is
Cade, the chiefest '.Know- Nothing, 81
them all, wax exceeding wroth, and.
speechify pfodigious!y!
Z. But tho odor from the walls Of his
wrath overcame his weak nerves, and
there being no stin,a!ants in tho council
chamber OIL Sam, " Robert had la spasDs!
8, And when the disciples Of sam, "
who had assembled from tie North and
the South, and the East and the West, and
the Island called Tihicum, beheld what
had happened unto Robert, they straight
way ADJOURNED IN
Q Some to the house Of Bridges 4
West, the publicans, and others to the
bowers Of the modern Delilah's, where
strangers are taken in. = .5.T
| =. I'm CHAPTER n.
L.. And II came to pass on the morrow,
that SAM sounded the toDjohn, and
straightway his annointed again gathered
round about him.
2. And from tile heart Of the faithful
there went upa prayer Of thanksgiving
and praise---an offering for the deliver
ance Of their prophet out Of the hands o.
the Virginiahs.
! 3. Now among tile chosen Of Sam" in
courcil assembled, were .Barkers, Picks,
Prentices, GARDENERS, Nitingales, Brooks,
Churches, Parsons, Cranes, Pyles, Cones
Slaughters. Cooks, Butts, Cases, Bells
Sharps, Flats, Lyons, Hoags, Pixies. and
other odd fish, who spouted like whales,
for spirits moved them powerfully.
A. And Albert, the mighty YPoick',' 81
the West, did sing the praise of "fan,' z
and George, Of "Qld Kintuck, and Ken.
meth, Of the"Old North State, dhwhis.
tie in clorus--most beautifully ia
s. Then arose Barker, Chief Priest from
the city Of Gotham, who howled long and
pitiously, then sat himself down and
persp ired! ...: /.
r 6, Then followed William, and John,
and Joseph; and Thad 1eus, and Daniel
the Gothamite, who glorifed SAM and
cried aloud --.-crucify the Pope r
Z. And suddenly there arose a great
commotion in the camp Of Samuel"
8. The dough faces" clamored loud.
ly and the "Fire- eaters" waxed exceeding
ly wroth.
8. But the ":Tooth- pick" of Arkansas
and the "Perusader'' Of Colt caused .
change 70 come over the spirit 81 rebel
lion, and the bclligerents became sudden
lily docile.
10. Then straightway the council fire,
were extinguished, and Samuel" com
handed his disciples 70 depart in peace.
and they obeyed his command.
4 CHAPTER III.
! Now it came to pass on the evening 0
| the, fifth day of the week (known in thes'
days as Thursday J that the fatted calf wa.
killed, and d great feast was prepared, un
10 which tho Chief Priests Of Sam wer
invited. f#
3. And they partook freely, withou
money and without price.
5. But from all others who partool
thereof, there was demanded ten pieces 3
silver, lawful currency Of the realm.
4, But tile "greekJ' and the ."Sour
Krouts" would not contribute dime mo
not a single redl
F 3. Now, d. this feast; prepared by Thon,
as, the Ethiop, presided Robert, assisle,
by Benjamin, Charles, Joseph, and JOIN
8. And yiands prepared by Thoma
! vanished rapidly; and the wines, brandy
whisky aud gin--the spira offering of ia
cob, whose sirname il Snider, did disap
pearmost mysteriously.
i N. And straightway Robert waved cx
u ceedingly eloquont--deliyered himself .
a speech and departed.
8, Then followed Kenneth, James, Fl
thu, and Judson, who detained most W
hcmently.
8. And he faithful did clap tbei
hands and cry aloud, t'sam" i great ant
Judson Is bib prophet!
u 10. But the speech Of Judson pleased
not the Greeks and the Sour Krouts,
and they did hiss-slightly. VI
II. Now this did VET Sam sorely, bu
the 'Unterrifed' needed him not, and di
continue to, annoy him, HH
I Ie. Now when Samuel, found that ID
was again encompassed round about BY Iii
Philistines, be Immediately departed from
. their presence. ss
/. 10. And straightway lis disciples i'm
Iitated the example Of theirmaster; for thei
heads did ache and their knees tremble,
Violently. t
"a. Finally, my brethren, whethe
Kno,c-l Notlitags. Greeks, Of Sour KrOsts
be ye circumspectinal things. Remem
Der that the way Of the Politician is llgrd