Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1855-06-21
pen, Fuste + Sti5sprs

VI 'AANuS AhSASdoCS uuuGT O0DTeS6lOn.
DNuisanSes-Cying babies in Church.
GJ-Gaul was the ancient name of France
0J=Uneasy is the head that wears a wig in
gale Of wind.
D'H hatever is we'll resolved on, should
be quickly performed.
GJ''None Of your reflections as the ugly
Miss said 10 the mirror.
Gj'The speaker who "took the floor" has
been arrested for lumber stealing.
qJ'God hears the heart without words-but
he never hears words without the heart.
D-Why was the first day OF Adams the
longest ever known Because it had no
Eve! "'
GrThe Yankee who was living at the point
of death, VIII tiled it off and is now recover.
ing.
GJrThe height Of imagnation-To lie
mackerel to your coat-teil and think yourself
a mermaid.
UJIheTe is no arena in which vanity dis.
plays tse t under such variety Of forms as in
conversation.
w. w ny 10 pIct'y young woman IKE corn
IN tlme OF scarcity Because she ought 10
be husbonded.
1J'Sally Smith says whenshe was in love she
tell as If she was in a tunnel with train of
cars coming both ways.
ft5~A consolng friend is the greatest enemy
in sorrow. We generally wake up sorrow by
asking If 1t is not asleep now.
r7The fellow who kept "stif upper-lp,u
regretted afterward that he didn't give it to a
pretty gitl' 4 lesson fsl future practice.
GTThe man that can't laugh, or won't
laugh, the man that can't take Joke ,or won't
take joke, is one of natures jokes himself.
0HT How youth makes its wishes hopes, and
its hopes cerainties Hope is the prophet
OF youth. Young eyes always look forward,
U-Archbishop Hughes has crossed and re-
crossed the Atlantic, with very little trouble
yet, strange as 1t may seem, there are Brooks
III America that he can't get over.
GTWhen woman talks about her virtues,
OF man about his courage, it is easy 10 guess
that the existence o! those qualities is some
what doubtful.
MA gentleman the appearance of whose
'N'f ""o "'SH'y Sdlu III IentF
ne lelt like employing Adams d Co., to Ex-
press his feelings.
Gj'Now is the time TO secure rosy cheeks
and bright eyes. Get up early, scent The fresh
air, hear the robins sing, aud walk mile or
two Lelore breakfast.
GNothing arnoys an enemy mole than
kindness. 1t is an arrow that generally hits
the mark. 1t is the most severe, yet the most
noble mcde of treatment.
D"Why 10 you set your cup Of coffee on
the chair, Mr.. Jones % at is 30 weak
ma'am," replied Mr.. Jones, demurely, ii
thought l would let ii rest"
GFMarccllus, the physician Of Marcus Aur-
eliuS, says that plain gold ring is good spec-
lfic for a pain in the s.de.-Wilh us it often
cures pain in the heart.
Ij'A peculiar species OF bad companv il
closSed under the head Of fleaS, mosquit os.
bed bugs, and miar vaTmin.s. Guess nobody
courts the!E acquaintance.
GFMss - says she would like very much
to do something so as to have her "name in
the paper" We have advised her 10 get some
one 10 have his name put in with hers.
Gj'"lt is said that many who are now on
the way 10 Kansas, crying, 'E1o for the Westp
will, ittera iew months experience in that re-
gion, be inclined TO dig for the East"
1j7Tom Hood said that when lie was a
young man he couldn't wink at girl, but
that she took it for offer Of marriage. The
consequences was good many Of the girls got
hoodwinked.
MA widow once said 10 her daughter.
"Wh hen you are at my age, it will be time
enough TO dream Of husband" eyes NAM
ma" replied the thoughtleSs girl, "for se-
cond time" Her mother tainted.
GTA misery gentleman having billeted him
self on his friend in Edinburs during the row.
al visit, was talking 10 frjend, on his return,
Of the great expense OF lvng-'How much do
you suppose spent in Edinburgh" "I do not
Know" replied his friend 81 suppose abou.
a Jortnight."
TA young lady recently from boarding
school, being asked al table she would take
some more cabbage, replied "By no means,
maGame-gaSlrOnomlca safety adnoniSheS me
that have arrived at the ultimate of culinary
degIutnaNon consistent with the code Of FSe
culapus."
GJWhen the immortal Sidney was told that
he might save his life by telling falsebood-
by denying his band wrtiug-he said When
God hath brought me into dilemma, in which
mus assert lie or lose MY life, he gives mo
clear indication of my duty, which is 10 pre-
fer death to faisehood."
GA lady at Columbus, Ohio, recently in
CURED of the rappers how many children she
had-"Four," raped the spirit. The hus-
band startled at the accuracy of the reply,
stepped up and nquired-'How many have
| 2 Two! answered the rapping medium
The husband and wife looked at each other
for moment, and then retired, nonbelievers.
G-"Vonce, ven | vas courtin' nv Catarine,
vas gone to my field TO hoe my potatoes
Veil den see my Catarine comm in der roat
so links give her boo; so climbs tree,
and shuSht as vas goin' TO boo her falls Off
on der hemIock fence, and sticks a pine kno.
hole IN my panaloons, and Catarne vas laif
and make ME more shame dan sheep nit "a
tief on him pack.
tTTOne of the western villages passed an
ordinance torbiding tavernS 10 sell liquor on
the Sabbath 10 any persons except travellers.
The next Sunday every man in the place was
seen walking around with valise in one hand
and saddle bags in the other and they ''trav-