The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1855-05-11
From Dickens Household Words
nay Confession.


had always been a passionate boy
They said / was almost q iiend at times.
At others | was mild and loving. Nv
father could 10; manage rae at home so
! was sent to school. | was more flogged
b,ta At home and st school, than any one
lfeyer knew or heard of. Ii was inccssant
iiogglng. Il was the best way they knew
Of 70 educate and correct me. remember
TO this auy how nay father and my master
used 70 say. they would fog the devil
out Of me. This phrase was burnt at
last INTO my very being. bore it always
consciously with me- heard il so Of en- thst
dim kind Of notion came into my mind
that | was really possessed Of devil, and
that they were right 70 try and scourge it
out OF NE. THIS was a vague feeling at
first. After events made it more definite
Time went on in the old way. was
forever doipg wrosg, and forever under
punishment-terrible punishment that left
my body wounded, and hardened my
heart into stone. ! have bitten nay tongue
tiIl it was i.ack and swollen, that might
not say rsspd'lted Of what / had done.
Repentance, then, was Synonymous with
cowardice and shame Al last it grew in
to savage pride Of endurance. gIoried
in my suiterIne~, for knew that / came
the coaqueror otit of them Tie masters
might ilog me till | tainted but they
could not subdue me. A[y constancy was
grea er than their tortgges, and my firm
ness superior 10 their will. Yes, they
were forced to acknow ledge til conquer
cd them the de,il would not be scourgeJ
out Of me at their bidding but remained
with me at mine.
When look back to this time Of my
boyhood. | seem to look over wide eX-
pansc Of desert land swept through with
fiery storms. Passions Of every kind con
yulsed my mind unrest and mental tur.
moil, strife and tumult, and suffering new
er ceasing- his is the picture Of my youth
whenever turn it from the dark wall Of
the past. But it is foolish to recall This
new. Even at my age, chastened and so
bered as | am, it makes my heart bound
with the old passionate throb again, when
| remember the torture and the fever of
my boyhooi.
| had few school friends. The bows
were afraid Of me, very naturally ana
shrank from any intimacy with ona under
such potent ban as l. | resented this.
and fought my way sayagely against them.
One only, Herbert Ferrars, was kind to
me ! he alone il was loved ne, and he
alone was loved in return. Loyed-as
YOU may well believe boy Of warm aiiec-
tions, such as | was III spite Of all my in
temperance OF passion, isolated from all
and summed by would love anv one
such as Herbert lie was the Royal Boy
Of the school the mobiles the loved oil ali
masters and playmates alike the chief
Ct all clever; like young Ap llo among
The herdsmen; supreme in the grace and
vigar OF his dawning manhood. | never
knew one 50 unSelfls---so gifted and so
sirsias 50 loving and SO just. 50 gentle
and 50 strong
We were friends fast, firm friends
The other boys and the uShers, and the
masters. too, warned Herbert against me
They told him continually that should do
no good ana might harm him in many
Ways But he was faithful, and suffered
no one To come between us. had neytr
been angry with Herbert A word, or
look Joining on the huinor Of the moment,
would rouse me into a perfect fiend against
any one else but llerbert's voice and
manner soothed ue under every kind Of
excitement. In any paroxysm Of ragea
the very worst--l WIS gentle toh him: and
| had never known yet the III Of fury
which had not Yielded to his renlQnstrauce.
| had grown almost to look on l1rn as my
good angel against that devil Ihom the
rod could not scourge cut Of me-
We were walking on the cliffs one day,
Herbert and I, I we lived by the seaside
Ard indeed | think that wild made me
iiercer than | should else have been.
The cliffs where we were that day were
high and rugged; in some places going
down sheer and smooth into the sea, in
others Jagged and rough, bnt always dan
gerous. Even the sanphire gatherers dread
ed them. They were OF a crumblng
sandstone, thar broke away under the
hands and fest; for we had often climbed
the practicable parts, and knew that great
masses would crumble and break under
our grasp, like mere gravel heaps Her
bert and | stood for short time close to
the edge Of the highest cliff, Haglin's Crag
it was called; looking down at the sea,
which wh high lide, and ioaming wildly
about the rocks. The wind was very strong,
though the sky was almost cloudless, it
roared round the cliffs, and lashed the
waves into surging foam, that beat furi-
iously against lie base, and brought down
showers Of earth and sand with each blow
as it struck. The sight Of all this life and
fury OF nature feverra nay blood and ex-