The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1855-03-14

IL W llu laughing SiAis Jaoe e"A-NN "
As full of fun and mischief as ever you have seen;
And when am woman grown, no city beau for rae
And if marry in my life, a farmers wife III be-
I love country life-I love the joyous breeze,
love to hear the singing birds among the trees,
The lowing herds and bleating hocks make MUSIC
sweet for me
If ever marry in my life, farmers wife III bel
love to see the orchards, where the golden apples
GROW. flow
love 70 walk in meadows, where bright streamets
And fowery banks and shady woods have many
charms for me
If ever marry in my life, farmers wife III be-!
---1------ "@
Speech Of the honorable Zachariah Spicer On
the question of (Which enjoys the greatest
amount of happiness, the bachelor or the mar
fied man,
Mr.. president and gcntlemen-I rise to ad-
vocate the cause of the married man. And
why should not? | claim to know something
about the institution do. Will any gentle
man say do not? Let him accompany me
home. Let me confront him with my wife and
seventeen children, and decide.
High as the Rocky mountains tower above
the Mississippi valley, does the character OF
the married man tower above that Of a bache-
Tor. What is bachelor? What was Adam
before he got acquainted with Eve? What but
apoor shirtless helpless, insignificant creature?
No more to be compared with his after-self,
than mil-dam to the great roaring cataract
of Niagara. Applause.
Gentlemen, there was a time, blush to say
it, when | too was a bachelor; and a more mis-
cradle creature you would hardly expect to
find. Every day I toied hard, and at night l
came home to my comfortless garret--no car
pet, no fire, no nothing. Every thing was in a
elatter, and in the words OF the poet
Confusion was the monarch of all he surveyed"
Here lay pair of pants, there dirty pair
of boots, there play bill, and here pile Of
dirty clothes What wonder | took refuge
at the gaming table and barroom. found it
would never do, gentlemen, and in lucky mo
ment vowed to reform. Scarcely had the
promise passed my lips when knock was heard
at the door, and in came Susan Simpkins after
my dirty clothes.
Mr.. Spccr," says she, f'I'ye washed for
you six months, and [ haven't seen the first
red cent in the way of payment Now I'd like
to know what you are going to do about 1922
1felt in my pocket-book There was nothing
IN it, and [ knew it well enough.
"Miss Simpkins,' said I, ats no use deny
ing it. haven't got the pewter. I wish for
your sake I had
@Therc," said she promptly, II don't wash
another rag for you
"Stop," said l. ssSusan, will do what I
can for you. Silver and gold have none; but
if my heart and hand will do, they are at your
service"
care you in earnest?' says she, looking
little suspicious.
@Neyer more So" says I.
Fpon5rb eo;J w, rn,, "A -, n ,,,,,l.
and what's more, we haven't repented it. No
more antics for me, gentlemen. live in a
good house, and have somebody to mend my
cloths. When was poor miserable bache-
lor, gentlemen, used to be as thin as wea-
sci. Now am plump as a porker.
In conclusion, gentlemen, if you want to be
a poor ragged devil, without coat to your
back, or shoe to your foot; if you want to
grow old before your time, and as uncomforta
bic, generally, as a ''hedge hog rolled up the
wrong way" | advise you to stay a bachelor,
but if you want to live decently and respecta-
bly,, get married. I've got ten daughters,
gentlemen, oyerpowering applause] and you
may have your pick.
Mr. Spicer sat down amidst long continued
plaudits. The generous proposal with which
he concluded secured him five sons in-law.
The most sublime thoughts-beautiful and
powerfully figures and pure phraseology
found in a obsolete work, but seldom quoted,
called the Bible.
There are individuals who have acquired a
literary reputation without writing line; there
are others who have name for bravery, ard
never fought. The former write, and the latter
fight by proxy.
Pleasure is comparative, and enjoyment is
relative; the Spanish peasant basking in the
scorching sun, and rolling in the dust of his
parched up plains is as happy as the French .
uriant vegetation of Languedoc Or Provence.
One Of the best double puns we have ever
heard, vas perpetrated by a clergyman. He
had just united in marriage a pair whose chris
tian names were respectively Benjamin and
Ann. |
"How did they appear during the ceremo-
NY" inquired friend.
'sThey appeared both annie mated and ben
ME fitted, was the ready reply. |
Pleasure owes its greatest zest to anticipation. /
The promise of a shilling fiddle will keep a
schoolboy in happiness for year. The fun
connected withits possession will expire in an
hour. Now what is true of schoolboys is |
equally true of men. All they differ is tile
price of their fddles.
As Rufus Choate was cross questioning
witness lately in one Of the Boston courts, be
asked him what profession he followed for
livelihood? The witness replied, 81 am can
die of the Lord-a minister of the gospel. -
ssOf what denomination?' asked the counsel /
lor. GA baptist" replied the witness. ''lhen,'
said Mr.. Choate, t'you are dipt, but l trust
not wicked candle.
Keep an exact account Of daily expenses and
at the end of every week consider what you
can save the next
Carlyle says, smake yourself good man,
and then you may be sure there is one rascal
less in the world I
Let girl be ever so young, the moment size
is married she becomes woman. !
Difficulties are whetstones to sharpen our
fortitude.
cat LENGTH said an unfortunate man who
had been ruined by vexatious lawsuits, est
length | have found happiness, for am rG-
i. 80 fJ,, II.