Plymouth banner. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1852-1855, 1855-01-04
From the Detroit DAILY Advertiser
Docssicks inyeu:s II Patent Med
icine.
New YORK December 6, 1881
70l Narrow street


Congratulate me-my fortune is mad,
- am irnmor,alized, and I've done j
myself. | have gone into the paien
medicine business. Ny name will b,
handed down to posteriiy rs a universe
henelactnr. The hand which hereafter
writes upon the records OF Fame the names
of Aver. Sand, Townsend. Moffai, Morri
son and Brandre,h, must also inscribt
size by side with these distinguished appel
laiions. The no less brilliant cognomea o
Doesticks. Emulous of the deathess no
ioTieiy which has been acquired by the
medical worthless just m5nuoned. a.sC
reso,i ed to achieve name aud fortune in
tic sumo reputable and honest manner.
Z .usht gallon Of Tar, a cake Of booswaN
and a frkin of lard, nud in twenty Lone
hours presented TO the world tho frsi
batch of "D0cstick's Patea, Self ActiHg-
Fonr- Horse. Polser BaIsam." designed 10
cure all diseases of tho mind. body or es.
tate, 10 give strength to the weak, money
to tho poor, broad and butter to Inc hum
gry, boots to the barefoo! decencv to black
guards. and common sense to the Know.
Nolhinss. 1t acts physically. mentally,
psycol.. gscaly. physiologically, aud geo.
logically, and is intended 10 make our
sul,lumarv sphere blissGul paradise, to
which heaven itself shall he bat side
show
have not yet brough. II 10 absolute
perfection, bst even now il acts with i'm
unense force. as you will perceive by tho
accompanying testimonials and records of
nv own experience. You will observe
that have no, resorted 10 the usual man
uer of prep pairing certificates; which is, to
be certain that oil those intended for east
ern circulation shall seem 20 como from
i',rmer.y uuheard OF places in the west,
while those sent to the west shall DO dated
at some place forty miles cast Of sunrise
But send 10 you, a. representing the
western country. a certificate from an Or
egon farmer:
Dear S.r: The land composing my
farm hiss hitherto been 50 poor that a
Scotchman couldn', get his living OF ii.
and so stony that we had to slico our po-
tatoes nd plant them edgeways: bu. hear
ing nf your balsam nut some on 4 ten
acre lot surrounded ny n rail fence, and
in the morning found the rocks had en-
tirelv Disappeared. n neat stono wall en-
cifclvd the field. and the rails were spli,
into oven wool aud piled W symme,ri-
callv in my back yard. Put half an
ounce in the middle Of a buck leberry
swamp, in two daSs il was cleared OF,
planted with corn and pumpkins, and had
a row OF peach trees in full bloom through
the middle. As an evidence Of its tremen-
dous strength, would state that il drew
\ striking likeness Of my daugh,er-dre
nv younges, boy out of the mil pond
drew a blister all over his stomach-drew
load of potatoes four miles to market.
aud eventually drew a prize OF ninety
seven dollars in the State lottery. And
he effect upon the inhabitants herabout
has been 81 wonderful ihlt they have
penel their eyes to the good OF their coun-
Try. are determined TO vote for Governor
who is opposed to fros;s in the middle of
June. and who will make positive law
agsinsl freshets. hail storms, and the seven
teen year locusts."
There. isn't Tint some? Butt give one
more from a member of the senior class
Ia western college. who although mis-
guided. neglected and ignorant. is un
doubtedly as honest and sincere as his
Prussianizad education will admit Of.
have corrected the photography and revis
ed some grammatical inaccuracies; but be
sides attending 10 these irIflss inserting
marks Of punctuation. and putting the
capitals in the right places, | assure you
haze made no alteration:
SAIL llARBoR. June 81. 1854.
My Dear Doctor: You know attended
medical lectures half winter, nnd once
assisted in getting crooked needle out
of n baLy's leg, SO urlde rstand perfectly
we'll tho theory and practice Of medicine,
end the doctor is perfectly legitimate IN
der the Psussian sys,em.) BY the inces-
san, study required in this establishment,
| had become worn down so thin that |
was obliged 10 put on an oyerroat TO cast a
shadow--but accidentally hearing Of your
ba.sam. lob,ained quantity, and. in ODE
dience. to the homeopathic principle Of this
institution, took an infniteismal dose
only; in four days measured one hun
dred and eightyswo inches round the
waist-could chop eleven cords OF hickory
wood in two hours and half; aud. on a
bet. carried a yoke OF oxen two miles and
half in my lef. hand, my right being
tied behiLd me; and if any one doubts the
fact. the oxen are slil'to be seen.
About two weeks after this, had she
pleasure Of participating in gunpowder
explosion. on which occasion my arms and
legs were scattered over the village and
ms mangled remains pretty equally dis
trbuted throughout the entire country.
Under these circumstances my life was
despaired of. and my classmates had
bought pine &C fin. and borrowed whole
shirts 10 attend the funeral 10; when the
inviEcable power Of your four horse pow
er baIsam. (Which happened TO have IL
my vest pocket suddenly brough together
the scattered pieces Of my body, collected
myslimbs from the rural districts, put new
lifesiuto my shattered frame. and yves
restored, uoinjured to my friends. with q
new set Of double teeth. hive preserved