Star of the Kanawha Valley. [volume] (Buffalo, Va. [W. Va.]) 1855-1856, 1855-06-27
Our Cblp glask.tI

Il
An irregular apprentice frequently keep.
ing late hours, his master at length took
occasion 70 apply sore weighty arguments
70 convince him of the error Of hisway.
During the chastisement, de mastsrex.
claimed
How long viii you serve the d9vil?'
The boy replied. whimpering-
You know best, sir; I believe my ID.
dentures will DO out IN three months.
How do do Mister Printer? / want .
Sunday school banner printed: wi are col
in 10 have tarin' fourth o. July celebrsk
ton. and our schools wants banner
80 they ought, sir. What do ypu wsit
On II .sir?'
Wal, II don't know; We ort 70 have 8
text Of Scripture on il ! reckon.
think that isa good idea, what shall i
i besir?'
Why thought this would Be- good =
my: BE- sure you are right and chem 60
ahead
Il The editor Of d paper in Providence
lately informed his readers that tie ladies
ways pull of the left stocking Int, This,
as may ID supposed, created soms little stir.
lamong his fairreaders, and whileinpo positive
terms they denied the statement they &C
1.-THE same time declared, that he had no
business to know it, even II such was The
fact, and pronounced him no gentlemau.
| He proves il, however. BY short argu-
Iment: when one stocking i pulled Of 6rss.
There is another let on !: and pulling Of this
lis taking or the I'm stocking last
First class in Spelling. 80 ComeEup here.
Esir; what is your name.
i Sam, was the urchin's reply!
1 What is that an abbreviation Oft asked
the teacher.
[ Don't know. SIR IL
/ Don't know your name. and twelve
years old too. Samuel is what II means.
! 'Stepup here said Bs TO the second. /
You know your nameI m sure
/ .Jiml' exclaimed he.
! And what does that mean?' said The
MASTER i
'Jimuel! cried tho delighted boy.
The editress Of the Ladies' Repository
talking about kissing, says:
/ Kisses, like faces of philosophers. vary.
Some are as hot as coal FIRE, some sweetas
4 honey, some mild as milk, some tastless 90
long drawn soda, Stolen kisses are said
TO hayemore nutmeg and cream than other
sorts. AS to proposed kisses. they arc
not like at all A stolen kiss d the most
agreeable. We have been kissed few
times, and As we ate not very old wehope
to receive many more 4
| A genius III Ohio has Just perfected !
4 rife that knocks the Minnie rife into
cooked hat. He placed an ounce ball IN
it on Tuesday evening last. and fred atths
/ sky. A few moments after wards, the dog
star commenced bowling, and ID such
manner, that the people Of cleveland are
satisfied he was wounded In the thorax.-
Where are your French gunsmiths? The
echo of the bowling dos-starE answeSs
'where? If
I An Irish schooolmaster once according
to Carleton, advertised as follows:
/ Mr.! Matthew Kavannah, begs to inform
the inhabitants Of the above vicinity that
he will lecture on the following branches
Of education, namely, reading and writing.
astrology, austerity, fuxions and maps,
j physics and metaphysics, geology, glori6-
cation Cornelius AgriPpa and choleramor-
i bus
/. A merchant, not 50 celebrated for Tho
| elegance Of his diction as for the length Of
4 his purse, wrote to bis correspondent in )
!. distant city for q lot Of -four, adding By
way Of showing bis impotence, that hs
. wanted little worst kind. He was not less
surprised than chagrined on tho reception
81 the article to End it full Of sdesvy, sour
and mustea Lot this DO warning to tho
disciples Of Nose!
A Dutchman, the other day bid On *.
traordinary price fOr an alarm clock. and
gave as 4 reason
dat he loffed to rise early, he had not.
lin TODD but bul Dc string, and he could
keIhlmself.'
We'll Jane. this is q queer World!' said
: CuTu SpCSU W HIP Wlic ~ VtTNAbAUt tllO
J other morning. "A sect Of woman philo-
, sophers have Just sprung up!' Indeed
said Jane, and what do they hold?' The
! strangest thing ii nature said hs-'their
!, ftongucs!' HI
, 'Sambo, where IS the shoveg
Wild Dc hoe massa.' 'Welllwhsre i The
hoe?' f5E@i.
why wid do shovel, n,assa.' 'Whsrs
are they both you scoudrel?' Why, bod
togedder. gohy. ole massa. you pears 70
b, berry ticker. dis mornin.' We guess
Sambo cotched il.
/, Father, what DO you mean BY raising
things Id the hot houses?
!, why, my dear boy. you arc being
raised ii house, too hot 70 hold me some.
times n III
The mother raised the broomstick, and
the husband disappeared in ! hurry.
Ala proof Of hardness OF The times,
rEthere Is o man ia Ohio who only kills half
Of pig at time. The reason il, that Be-
is one Of those moan natures who never
have generosity enough 70 go the whole
hog.'T Cruel.
yxy.-.a.. .t,,l,ahat;N Ill - =. ~ -. ...a. "