Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1855-09-15
TIE SHIRT COLLAR.

There was once dandy, whose goods and
chsttels consisted Of . boot-jack and q hail
brush; but he had the srnartsst shirt collar IN
the world. The shirt collar had grown % old
that be now began TO think Of marrying, when
he happened to find himself In the same wash.
| tue as a garter.
| Mercy on US cried the shirt collar; / never
saw anything 50 slim, 90 dainty, 90 delicate, OF
so elegant before. May make % bold as 10
1 ask your nsme?'
| Il shall not tell you said the garter
Where do you liver asked the shirt collar
Bet the garter was by nature rather shy
and did not know how TO answer.
1 suppose you are belt, said the shirt
collar, a belt to fasten some under clothes
show, ny little lady
You must not speak to me, said the garter
Il am sure L cannot have given you any en-
couragemcnt 10 do so.'
When one is as pretty as you are said the
shirt collar, us not that encouragement
| enough? p
Get away--don't come so near me- said the
garter feu seem 10 be quite like a msn.'
i am very 6ne gentleman, sure enough
said the shirt collar. Il possess a boot Jack
and hair brush
This was not true, for ID was his moster who
owned these things But he Vas bossser
Don't come 80 near me- said the garter.
Il m not accustomed 10 such behavior
Ridiculous pruderyn said the shirt collar
And then they were taken out Of ths wash
tub and starched, and hung over q chair IL
the sunshine; after which they were laid on
the ironing board. And now came the glow
ing fiat-iron.
Mistress widow said the shirt collar, little
mistress widow, / feel very warm. / am quite
metamorphosed; my creases are al smoothed
down. You are burning hole in me, Oh
dear! offer myself for your sccg1suse.
You, you ragmufhan said the fat-iron, 81
she drove proudly over the shirt collar; for she
imagined herself TO be q steam engine that
rolls over a railway, and draws carriages.
So she called him ragmuf6u.
The edge Of the shirt collar wss somewhat
frayed, 90 tho scissors were in request to cut it
smooth.
'Oh. said the shirt collar You are certainly
first rate dancer. 1 never saw anything so
elegant in my life. No human being could
initiate you
II should think not, said the scissors.
You would deserve TO be q countess, said
the shirt collar. Ny only worldly possessions
consist os dandy boot jack, and friEzing comb.
wish hsd county TO lay az your feet
What, is he wooing me, forsooth p said the
scissors, who wsxed indignant, and gave such
a violent snip that the shirt collar was in fair
way TO be cashiered.
Then must make a proposal 10 the hair
brush thought the shirt collar. What re-
markably beautiful hair you have got, my
little missy Hsyeyou never thought of becom-
ing engaged9'
You may well imagine that have Thoughts
about it, answered the hair brush; for am
engaged to the boot-jsek'
'Engagedn % cried the shirt collar.
There was now nobody left, whom he could
woo, therefore he pretended to despiss court
ship In general.
A long time after, the shirt collar lay il a
bag at the psper-mill. There was a large
company of rags. the nne ones and the course
ones herding together respectively as il was
proper they should. They had all q great deal
to relate, but especially the shirt collar, who
was mighty bosster.
Il have had b many sweethesrts,' said the
shirt collar, that they left me no peace of my
life. But 1: must be confessed that was
very fne gentleman, and a stiff one too. had
a boOt-jac and brush, that / never used.
You should have seen me ia those days, when
l lay on one side I shall never forget my
first love. She was . girdle; 90 dainty, 90 soft
and so elegant; and she flung herself into the
wash-tub for my sake. There was a widow.
too, who was glowing with love for me; but
would not have her, and she grew black from
fretting. Then there was first rate dancer,
who gave ne a wound L now suffer from; for
she was a passionate creature! My own hair
brush was In love with me, and lost all her
hair with grief at my GOODNESS. Yes, have
gone through great many adventures Of the
same sort; but what am most sorry for, Is the
garter-1 mean the girdle-who threw herself
into the wash-tab. have deal upon my
conscience
The eonceited bosster stopped short at these
words-fOr the machine just then cut him into
a thousand peices.
What a pity that eonceited old bachelors
who brag just like the shirt COLLAR Of oonquests
4 "a
mince meat OF in the midst Of their Dragging,