The weekly Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1854-1861, 1855-04-18
chronIsIes or TInnIsara.
CHAPTER i.

And II eameto pass IN the days o. OLlfkh'
the Lazy, the FIRST MOgul Of Tinnieum, that
q great and mighty famine prevailed
throughout the city, and alltSe region round
about Bresknsck; the whole earth was
psrched and dried upi all the fountains Of
ws.er were exhausted and the fountains Of
Whisksy were sealed up, 50 that suckers
could not inbibe nor Wild geese swim; and
the aPeople'' Of Tinnicum ran to and fro,
saying, "vsrily some great evil hath come
upon Us BY festgn OF ihe 'WOoIly-mouthed'
CathOIies.,' Then OLIVER opened his
mouth and said, "Vsrily say unto you, III
Is SAM" WhereupOn all Tinnicum, with
one accord raised their voices and exclaimed,
at Is Sam" And they strewed little bits
Of paper in the streets, (eVsn triangular
pieces Of paper,) which being interpreted
signify this: "Bshoid 'SGm' cOmeth like a
thief in the night, let all Tinhicum 60 forth
TO meet him! {" And Tinnicum did 60 forth
"a great and mighty multitude whom no
man could number-and they jOurneyed TO-
wards the south SabJath-day's journey, un-
til they arrived upon the borders Of the
great stream that watereth the southern part
of the City, even to the waters of the "rGg-
ing Canal" and there they halted for fear
of the Catholics.
Now, this was about the twelfth hour oi
the night, and the place where they halted
was nigh unto the lofty and magnificent ed
fce which aforetime was built by JOSEPH
the intestine-mepdsr, to be used as ware
house by his son JOHN, the "cons-outer.''-- -
Now, this warehouse was designed for the
storage of grain, cabbage, and other tropical
fruits, but the boys of Tinnicum had long
since converted it into a Temple, an dedca'
ted it to Venus, and it is known as the
"Temple of Venus" to this day. And the
whole multitude forthwith resorted to the
Temple, and when they had gone in, thu
doors were shut. Then OLIVER arose with
great pomp and dignity, before the multi.
the full moon, and his cheeks paffed oul
like the belly of toad; and he addressed
the "people" (extemporaneously) saying
"Citizens of T'nnicum! subjects of my
''realm!! this is the habitation Of "Sam. -
II have led you hither for dark and mysteri-
''ous purposes, and now give notice that
"if there are any 'WoolIy.mouthed Demo.
"crats' present, they will do well to retire
"as Sam has no dealing with the Slave.
"Democracjy..' have now he plsdSare d
introducing to your acquaintance mighty
"pussant, double-f fsted individual, from the
star South, even from the corn and cabbage
"county, which lieth around about Canton
"who has condescended to come among you
"nhabitants of Tinnicum, to enlighten 20,
"upon temperance, freedom and an election Il
| "come." 'e
| And when he had ended his saying, ther
came forward before the multitude, the grea
champion of the Sour-Krnuts, the satnt
whom OLIVER had just introduced, and veri
iy he was man of an unbounded stomach
of the tribe Of BENJAMIN, and his sir-nam
was URINARIus, which, being interpreted
meaneth Hat-christner and when the peo
pie saw him they all exclaimed with lou
voice; "Great is BENJAMIN, the Hat-christ
ener!" Now, there were present, upon thi
occasion, all the wise men Of Tinnicum
and the pious and devout men not a few
among whom were Lie-MAN, the brieaess
and Prince ALBERT, the Bank and ChurcI
shoulderer, and the three WILLIAMS, an
GEORGE, the Oyster-man, who also doe
grinding for the people, and JOHN, the Prizes
and money-changer, who was surname
Annanias, and OLIVER, the goose-hunte,
and HORACE, the little giant, who was sur
named the Booty. :. 80. ,
And they knew BENJAMIN, Of the old,rs
county, that he was man of exceeding grea
promise, and moral withal, and Temperate an
expert at all kinds of handicrajf and games
even at the game of 4" Faro" and they sal
among themselves, "verily, OLIVER hav
we loved, and Den, the hairy -mouthe
rafin,' have we hated, but BENJAMIN is
man after our own hearts; we will have hil
for our Chief Councilman to make laws fc
us in the great Council in the East, 50 le
us make our people as fools, yea, ds 'Kno'
Nothings,' that they 60 him blind, for BE'
JAMlN hath great stomach and bowels, ye'
bowels ec compassion and they yearn toward
the people of CheesdOm. -
And now, as it had become very late, an
they had trespassed upon the small hours {
the night, the whole multitude vamoosed
and each man betook himself unto his ow
house. And the door of each habitation Wi
barred and bolted aud the latch-strng WI
pulled in,yor Jear. Of the Catholics, and
lehce reigned in Tihnicum for the space
six hours.
CHAPTER II.
, Ard It came to pass on the next night,