Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1855-01-10
DOESTICKS GOES TO ELECTION.

York Election, we think Mr. Doesticks gives
the most complete account in one OF his re-
cent letters. We copy his experience at the
pols.] r o
Got to the polls; man with blue flag argu-
ed me to go for Boggs; man with red flag said.
"vote for Scroggs;" man with white flag, with
black letters sung out, "go for Hoggs"-little
boy pulled my coat tail and whispered, "vote for
Noggs"-man challenged myvote; took of my
hat held up my hand, and swore to all sorts OF
things; told how old am, where get my din
ners, and what my washerwomans name is, got
mad and did little extra swearing on my own
account which was not down in the bill"
marched up in grand procession of one, and
poked my vote in little hole. The great ex-
citement was on the liquor question. 1t was
Noggs and no liquor shops, or Boggs and few
liquor shops, Scroggs and plenty of liquor
shops, or Hoggs and every man his own liquor
shop. Voted Hoggs, for feel perfectly justi-
fled in taking an occasional toddy, when Wall
street is perpetually tight" Noise on the COR
ner, niger boy playing big drum, candidates
presented themselves to the sovereign people
for inspection. Know-Nothing on native jack
ass, cap ofliberty on his head and his pantaloons
made of the American flag with stripes running
the wrong way. Independent candidate, who
wants the Irish and Dutch suffrages, entered
borne on mortar bed, barefooted, with shille-
ah in one hand, a whiskey bottle in the other,
Dutch pipe in his mouth, and small barrel of
beer strapped to his back. Cold water man
stood on hydrant with the water turned on,
and had his pocket full of iccles Whisky man
brought in drunk on cart by admiring friends,
who besought the crowd to do as he did, 60 it
blind. Special deputy who wanted to be ap-
pointed policeman was very active, he arrested
an apple woman, knocked down cripple, kick
ed little boy, looked the other way while his
constituents were picking pockets, and took a
lite match girl up an alley and spanked her
soundly for presuming to show herself in the
streets without shoes or stockings-motto on
his hat, Sic itur ad astra" 60 il or you'll never
be star.
Irish woman with a bag of potatos on her
head, came up to vote--she said Dennis was sick
(drunk), but as Mr.. Hoggs had paid for his vote,
not be lost She was, with difficulty, choked
off by the heroic aspirant to civic STAR Whisky
men began to fall behind; messengers sent to
Wards Islands, and one to Blackwel's island,
for aid Fresh caught Irishmen came up-been
but fifteen minutes off the ship Paupers Ref
uge," but was brought up by the bullies to vote
for whisky man-challenged him--he swore he
was twenty-seven years old, had always lived in
this country--ten years in Mainc-eleven in s.
Carolina--eight in Maryland--and the last nine
years of his life he had spent in this city. Said
he was full blooded American /; that his father
was N. Hampshire farmer and his mother Mo-
hawk squaw that they had separated three
years before he was born, and had never seen each
other since.
Inspector, who was a friend of the whisky
man, received his ballot. paddy had slipped in
two with his left hand, while his right was on
the book taking the oath His kind friends
took him by turns into eighteen different wards,
in every one Of which he deposited whisky vote
and swore it in; after the polls were closed, and
he couldn't vote any more, they sent him to the
station house for being drunk and disorderly."
Elated with their success in this instance the
bo'hoys now brought up a newly imported
Dutchman, who could only grin idiotically, and
say "Yaw." Inspector asks; "Are you vo-
ter?"" Yaw." "Are you twenty-one years old !'
"Yaw." EDO you live in the city," "Yaw,-
Here one of Noggs friends culpably interposed,
evidently with the desire of ridculng the au-
gust proceedings, and asked Have you thirty
one wives!" another man asked ifhe had his hat
full of sour-krout-and third was anxious to
be Informed if he could smoke pipe, stand on
his head, and balance potato kettle on his heels
to all of which he pacently responded, " Yaw.'
Inspector hurried to the rescue, and put the test
question "Do you vote for Hoggs!" and re.
ceiving the same complacent Yaw" he took his
vote and showed him aside All sorts of old
customers came up to deposit their ballots, but
it is a remarkable fact, that il they wanted tc
vote for Boggs, Scroggs, or Noggs, or in fact
any one but Hoggs, they were sure to be GRO wd
ed, showed and hustled, and generally left the
room with bloody noses, and their ballots ir
their hands.
THE HARD TMEs.-We apprehend that We
in the great teeming West, know little of the pri
vation and distress and misery of the aborine
classes in the East, in the existing hard times
In the cities and large towns, where mills anl
manufacturing establishments have stopped, ant
threw thousands out of employ, suffering mos
prevails. As showing to what depths of calam
ity, human beings are bro't we append revela
ton of N. Y. paper:
ave heard a story last night--it was sim
pie one, one Of thousand-which made tn
blood run cold through our veins, though tn
air of the room was genial, and the heat that o
summer A policeman saw small and delicat
boy creeping around the corner by grocery
evidently bent on stealing some exposed frui,