Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-01-04

to the issue OF such unprecedented gallantry.
The bull stood patiently awaiting the contest,
but ever and anon frightening the poor deacon
out of his senses by terrific believing, or
by such demonstrations with his hoofs as
would make the earth fly into say the least
"a terrifying manner. The sun went down,
the dew commenced to fall, and there perhaps
they might have stood all night, had it not
been for circumstance in the shape of sow
with six little pigs, who after rushing full
speed round garden, in which they were
trespassing, trampling down every vegetable
and flower, took the stile as a convenient exit,
upset the deacon and scared the bull into
headlong gallop. Had the matter ended here,
perhaps the deacon might have risen and
laughed to hear the bellows, grunts and
squeaks mingling together, but unfortunately
for such merriment, dog who had closely
pursued the pig, enraged at its easy escape,
revenged himself upon the calves of the dea-
con, and then graphing his neck cloth, held
HIN down, with admonishing growls. To
rescue our friend from such precarious stu-
alton, came the landholder, near-sighted
man, who, having lost his glases in his haste,
began to beat the deacon fearfully, shouting
all the time-'get off you brute-go home
oh-you-get-home,' and it was not till the
unfortunate man was black and blue-literal-
ly-that he transferred his blows to the proper
object.
| The place TO see our friend in his proper
character was at church, where he always ar
rived early. How laboriously he toiled up
the aisle, and how complacently did he wipe
his forehead, deposit napless beaver on
the floor, put his snuff box, spectacle case and
bible on the seat beside him and cover them
with red bandanna handkerchief By this
time, his wife would always come in, nearly
as corpulent as he, and fresh from the duties
of Sunday school teacher. She, dear soul, in
the kindliness of her hesrt, not Wishing to dis
tur5 him, would always tap him on the shoul-
der, saying-'sit still, love-dont move. =
There was always something ludcrous to me,
AOA W. S~b NilOS'it uCHiiiu Hllns III lilC WOIuS,
don't move as if it would have been possible
for her huge body to have passed him, to have
entered at all if he had not with great trouble
risen and labored one side. When the hymn
was given out and the choir commenced their
various perlgrenations, it was pleasant to hear
his honest tenor, sometimes, It's true, ranging
into falsetto, but generally full and musical
As have already hnted, he was seldom late.
and it would seem that his only case of tardi-
ness was decreed by fate to be the cause of
what must have given him real sorrow-viz ::
the crushing of nice new beaver of my un-
Gle, who, a stranger, both to the church and
habits of our deacon, had placed new child
of Bandin in the pew before him, unconscious
of its danger.
The deacon, whose size prevented his see
ing aught beneath him, and to whom locomo-
tion was laborious affair, requiring all his at
tention, might have been excused for not no.
ticing the hat, and for sitting down after dis
posing his snuf1-box, glasses, &C., in their
accustomed places What stout oaken chairs
groaned under, hat should not be expected
to bear. 1t wavered-it cracked-it collapsed
it was pressed fiat, and my uncle shuddered
perceptibly. AS hastily as possible, the dea-
con rose, and with tear in his eye, picked up
the beaver, which, as he held it up sidewise,
was almost invisible, but upon turning it
round in his fingers, disclosed the extent of
the injury. Acting under natural impulse,
and confused by the laughter of the congre-
cation, he offered his own worn hat as if for
a recompense, and being repulsed in his effort
to render justice, returned the ruined hat,
with the remark more sincere than true-'A
little pressing, sir, will make it as good as
new Good heavens = cried my uncle, with
a look of comical misery, Il should think it had
had pressing enough already
1t seemed as if his zeal as honest endeavors
were always thus TO be frustrated or turned to
evil account, but never more strikingly Sc
than upon one occasion, which was the last
time | ever saw him, and which consequent
ly remember distinctly. 1t was at prayer
meeting in the vestry. A strange minister
officiating at the desk, expressed his desire
for glass of water, in pantomime, by look.
ing under the desk and coughing. Immedi.
ately the deacon hed to the church, under the
pulpit of which he knew pitcher alway:
stood. Unconscious that the sexton had for
gotten to cover the baptistry after its use tha
day, he rushed up the pulpit steps and fount
more lUdter than he lcdnted. Into the bap
tistry he plunged, upheld by his sack Goa
catching on a nail, 'splashing, dashing like
fish; he could neither get up or down, ant
might have been drowned in his sack as Clar
ence was in malmsey, had not his wife ant
the whole congregation come to the rescue
Frightened by his ducking and the numerous
faces that stared at him from the darkness O
the church, he was no sooner placed upon hi
feet than he began to exhibit an insane incli
nation to knock every one down, but conclud
: ed to compromise the matter by movin,
: against the seXten's wife, and knocking he
down as a matter of course. Then he starte
off on round trot, homeward bound, close
pursued by his better half. To see them tear
ing down the street naturally suggested tn