The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1855-03-07
An Gxfelltnt Storm
From the Ladys Book.
MY MOTHER-IN~LAW.
'BY PATIENCE PERKINS.

lished originally in this magazine. transla
ted and cockneyiEed in England, and re.
produced in this country as an Engllsh af-
fair. married widower with ten chill.
Fdren. Ifyou wish to know why, ask mr.
brother Tom, and he will tell you. So
much for my antecedents; now for my
"Motier in Law"
fiatter myself tha! I have common
sense; even my brother Tom admits that, ,as
general rule. though he cites exceptional
circumstances. do know enough to re-
tire into the house when il rains, or to take
an omnibus, or spread an umbrella. I
have seen children before TO day; If never
any of my own, actasl own. all those Of my
sisters. (not few and my husbands ten
BY former connection; and 1 do think
that my husbands mother might give me
credit for some capacity. If marrying a
man with Zen children is any proof of i'm
becility. as some people pretend, mOther.in-
law should, at any rate, be the last to re.
proach me with it.
do not know how good a medller
among fruits may be. but do know that a
meddler in ones household Affairs is intol-
cradle. do not know precisely what the
first Mrs. Perkins died Of, but if ever a cor
oner's Jury sits upon me, or if the doctor
makes true return to the superintendent
of the health Office, know the verdict in
the enc case, or the report in the other,
| will be--'An overdose Of mother-in-law ;
Mr.. Perkins, my dear lord and master, is
well enough; perhaps | should say, very
well. don't think he killed his first wife,
but | do hope [ shall never be required to
declare, upon oath, what are my frn con-
victions upon the subject. Il might make
disturbance in the family.
Ifthe woman was born for plague, she
is fulfilling her mission. Such a peaked
fsca! Such long neck! Such length
ened sourness, lohy drawn outl Such a
lean and hungry look! II she were any
body but my husbands mother | could ap-
peal to him for protection; but cannot ask
the man to rise up in rebellion against his
own fesh and blood, the author of his be-
ing. wish she could be content with the
original production, and not imagine that
he needs her centinall supervision, as an
author supervises new editions, and makes
alterations in everyonea
My welcome to the house was damper.
Perkins, before bis marriage. never let me
see his mother. Widowers are prompt an
artfal. Let them but breathe on maiden
with intent to capture, the proyesb says,and
the end is sure. The facination of a SER
pent exerted upon bird, is not more cer-
tain. | am half inclined to accuse my hus-
band Of dnplicit5 of obtaining wife un-
der false pretenses; the second offence, too,
the monsterl A mans children we expect
to be plagued with; and perhaps the escape
from early Nursing, Godfrey's cordial, Dar-
by's carmiaative, teeihing. and all that
sort Of thing, is q'Il!e an equivalent for any
Inconvenience which may grow out Of be-
ing mother at second hand, with family
capital all ready to commence married life
upon. Bat why did not the creature tell
me he was to be taken with thisother and
extra incumbrance? Why is not the mar
risge service altered to meet such cases,
thus.
Il, Patience, take thee Timothy and
thy mother], to be my welded husband
land mother-in-law, to have and to hold
land the rest III?
| am sure 4 have and hold more By two.
thirds ofthe mother than OF the son. Oh,
poor mel
Ny welcome, as said, was dampet -
She kissed me heartily enough too hearti.
ly--for she smelt horribly of snuff She
tssted oft, indeed; il could believe that
any woman put powdered tobacco in her
mouth, instead cfin the proper pace--if
The nose even Is the proper place--she is
that person. She turned me round and
round. and looked nae all over with the
most wonderful nonchalence. She won
dered whether my eyes were black On dark
hazel, suggested caps as part Of the toilet
Of the Hosherof ten children, and desired
TO know my Christian name, as she intend
"a 70 be very kind and very motherly .--
BESIDES, she aaid. Il am Mrs. Perkins, and
one Mrs. Perkins is enough in one house.
Perkins winehed q little at this, for ii was
not the frst time she had told him so.--
when answered that my name was Pa.
tience, she said--'P Patience! Hamphl--
You are well named. for you will have
line time liz. Bat Ia. dear We mast BE-
cheerful, and begin with d cup of tea. and
such 3 pleasant look she put On 10 second
her invitationl Her face was the habitual
Of Lamentations. and when she
attempts smile, her features are 80
unused u Il that It seems mJrelIke
twistof pain than an expression ofpleas-
ire.
.Yoa will lave time fit she repeated
for nsr encouragement. AZ eha Ysaeed Yan |