Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1855-02-01
How to get a Coat Mended.

hoW TO get Goat Mended.
Pshaw woman keep secret Who
ever knew one to keep anything twenty-four
hours q
That's libel upon the sex, Mr.. Hill-in-
vented, I'll be bound by some thrice-reiected
bachelor, who could think of no other mode
of revenge. Let anybody put secret in my
possession, and if cannot keep it till the day
of judgment, then was not christened Laura,
that's ALL
Guess will try you sometime; and Mr..
Hill applied match to his cigar, and walked
off.
Proceeding to confectioners he purchased
mammoth sugar heart and two smaller ones.
These he took to his shop, and cut piece of
shingle the exact size of the large heart, and
placed the wooden counterfeit in paper with
the small ones, that the packages might look
as nearly alike as possible.
Near tea-time, Mr.. Hill entered the sitting
room, where Laura and her friend Mary were
busily plying their needles. Seating himself
near by, he drew two small bundles from his
coat-pocket, and presenting one to>each of the
girls, remarked that he had long contemplat-
ed making them some presents, but hoped, as
an especial favor to himself that they would
not tell each other what the papers contained.
Laura and Mary readily promised obedience
at the same time casting uneasy glances al the
mysterious gifts.
Remember, the first who breaks her prom
ise will forfeit her claim to the title of secret
keeper, and mend this coat by way Of penal
ty,' added Mr.. Hill, rising to exhibit more
fully most sorrowful-looking garment, so
'tattered and torn,' that tailor would have
been puzzled to decide what was its original
shape.
The girls considered themselves safe con-
cerning the coat, and chided the wearer for
being so skeptical in regard to their ability to
keep secret. Curiosity was only half salts
fed, however, after ascertaining that Mr..
Hills generosity had bestowed heart. 1t
was not long ere the donor overheard Mary
and Laura in the kitchen, teasing one another
to reveal, by some sign, at least, the forbidden
secret.
But each stood her ground wonderfully, and
Mr.. Hill feared his coat would continue tat
tered
The girls sleeping apartment was con;igu-
Gus to the one occupied by MIR. Hill and e
Mr.. Telfair. AS only thin partition sepa-
rated the rooms it was easy to hear ordinary
conversation from one to the other without
the folly of listening.
The two men were snugly ensconced in bed
when Mary and Laura entered the adjoining
room. The room had scarcely closed when
the former exclaimed,
Now, Laura, do tell me what was in your
paper. 1t looked Just like mine. and | verify
believe it is the same thing. I shall not sleep
a wink tonight, if you don't. Come, do tell,
that's good girl, and then I'll tell you what
was in mine.'
Well, replied Laura, slowly, there were
two sugar hearts in mine.'
'And there was only one in mine,' said
Mary, in disappointed tone.
At this point, respectable portion of the
bolster went into Telf4ir's mouth, while Hill
took refuge beneath the bedclothes, to smother
his laughter as best he might.
At breakfast, the next morning, while
Laura was pouring out the coffee, Mr.. Hill,
turning towards Mr.. Telfair, said very grave
ly-
well, there were two sugar hearts in
mine.'
'And there was only one in mine, respond
ed Telfair, SO exactly initiating Mary's tone
that she almost fancied herself speaking.
The coffee-pot dropped to the great confu-
sion of sundry cups and saucers, and then came
burst of laughter from the four that fairly
made the dishes dance.
: l will take that coat, after breakfast, if
you please, Mr.. Hill,' said Laura quietly,
when the mirth had somewhat subsided.
Mr.. Hill declares that said coat was re-
turned to him in a few days, SO nicely mended
that he never should have recognized it with
out an introduction. Literary Museum.