Monmouth weekly herald. [volume] (Freehold, N.J.) 1854-1860, 1855-11-21
Duluorous ShGtfb.
Opposed to Matrimony.


rs your family opposed to matrimo-
ny ?"
(" Wall no, ! rather guess not SEEM as
how my mother has had four hubands, an
stands pretty smart chance tor havin'
another"
" -Four husbands, is it possible
Y, yes You see my mothers chris
tened name was Mehitable Sheets, an
dads name was Jacob Press; an when
they got married the printers said 1t was
putin the sheets to press. When wur
born, they said it was the first edition
An you see mother used to be the tarnal
est critter to go to evening meetings.
She used to be out late every night, an.
dad was afraid I'd getin the same. habit,
50 ne used to put me to bed al early can
die light, cover me up with a pillar an
put me to sleep with a bootiack. Wal.
dad had gat up every night an let mother
in; If he didn't get down an open the door
pretty darned quick when she cum, he'd
catch particular thunder: SO dad used to
sleep with his head out of the windei
SOS to wake up quick, an one night he
got his head a little to far out am he
slipped out altogether; an down dad cum
cafiumux right down on the pavement, an
smashed him in ten thousand pieces y
What was he killed by the fall ?"
Wall no not exactly killed by the fall
| rayther, kinder sorter guess it was the
sudden fetch up on the pavement thai
killed him. But man, she cum hum, an
found him lynn thar, and she had hin
swept up together, an put in coffin, an
had hole dug in the buryin' ground, anG
had dad put in am buried up, an had 9
white oak plank put up to his head, an
had 1t whitewashed all over for tomb
stone"
So your mother was left poor lone
widow ?"
Wall, yes but she didn't mind thai
much; wasn't long before she married San
Hide; you see she married Hyde because
he was just dads size, an she wanted hin
to wear out dads clothes Wal, the way
old Hyde used to Hyde me was caution
to my hide. Wal, one cold day old Hyde
got his hide so full of whiskey that he
pitched head first into snow bank, anC
there he stuck an friz to DEATH So man
had him pulled out, an had him laid out
an then she had another hole dug in thu
buryin' groun' and had him buried, ant
then she had another white oak planl
put up at his head an whitewashed al
over, ant"
So your mother was again a widow
80, yes, but | guess she didn't la,
awake long to think about it, for in 'bou
three weeks she married Sam Strong, an
he was the strongest headed cuss you eve
did see. He went fishing the other da
an got drowned an he was so tarna
strong headed, I'll be darned to darn
alton ifhe didn't float right agin the cur
rent an they found him about three mile
up the stream, an took three yoke O
oxen to haul him out. Wal, nam ha,
him buried along side tother two, an ha,
a white oak plank put up at his head, an
white washed all over nice, SO there
three on 'em all in row."
! And you mother was widow for tn
third time"
" Yes but nam didn't seem to mind i
a tarnal sight. The noxt man she marri
ed was Jacob Hayes, an the way man
does haze him is a caution now
tell ye. If he does anything leetle GU
of the way, nam makes him take buck
ct an white wash brush, an 90 RICH
up to the buryin' ground an white wasl
the three oak planks just to let him know
what he may come to when he's planted
in the same row, an she's got married tt
the fifth husband. So you see my family
arn't a tarnal sight opposed to u dose o
matrimony"