The Union and eastern journal. [volume] (Biddeford [Me.]) 1854-1858, 1855-11-23
Seeing the Elephant in New York.

The police reporter Of the New York Tri-
bune relates the sightseeing adventures Of
one JosEru GREEN, who was brought up for
having been inebriated and asleep in the
highway. Green had been having an even.
ing's amusement, in the course which he
had been to the circus, and afterward to q
bowling alley and shooting gallery with .
friend whom he had picked up. BY the
kind permission Of the Judge he was allow.
ed to tell his story in his own way, which
he did in very di.jointed style, and with
great deal Of earnestness and yolubiity,
somewhat after the fashion or the well
known Alfred Jingle:
.My name is Green, Mr.. Judge live In
the country cnuts down hero -fs.-.h.- ace.
Tins TO see the city, stop Mt Mr.. Astor's
tavern in Broadway street, Gne place good
bartender, big whiskcrs, does things with
kind Of aourishy jerk, peculiar to himself
didn't know anybody in the city; perfect
stranger; got my supper went out on the
steps man come along-sood looking man,
shiny hat, big chain, standing up color.
cane with jack knife in; introduced him
self; said he was q stranger too; wanted
me to 90 with him and pass a pleasant even
ing agreed to go went: took something to
drink before we started got little ways,
and he said hadn't we better take nip;
took nip; he said shouldn't we 20 to the
circus told him wasn't acquainted with
circus, but trot Il out h0 said hadn't We
better have something FRS. had something
go to The door; my friend lett his pocket
book at home, borrowed ten dollars, and
pa id for two; gavo me change, one dollar
bill, three pewter dimes and smooth cent !.
didn't understand York currency, but
thought Il oil right, got inside place near
the door with bottles in, also glasses and
pumps-lursc assortment of pumps, with
mahogony handles; friend said, "Should
we smile :" VIC smiled stepped along and
looked at the performance men with moth.
ing on but crown and pair Of tight
breecbes covered with sixpences, ard women
with petticoats about as long as turnover
collar. all standing on one leg on horseback.
except when they werc rolling heels over
head in tho sawdust trying to catch the tips
Of their toes in their teeth; remarkable fact,
all tho horses had two tails, and all the lncn
were double headers friend said II was the
effect of The last smile, and proposed that
we should take something to get the dust
out of our eyc.-friend said if I'd seen
enough we'd go--took last look-.he men
with the siIpenny brceches were dancing
with the ladies in the short skirts, which
seemed all upsido down HLo bowl man
with whip was cracking IL at everybody,
especially fellow with three cornered
patches all over him who was standing on
his head on pewter platter on top OF q
pair of stilts-stopped at the place with the
bottles in-friend said we should imbibe-
we imbibed-went outside, started to 90
across the street, brought up against oys'
ter cart, tried to kick over Tho oyster cart,
GOT my leg between the wheels-ncw hat
fell off, couldn't get up, concluded to sit
down-did cit down in my ha.-iriend help.
ed me up and tied my hat on with string
friend said shouldn't we take snifter-
took q sniiter-went to shooting place
tried TO kill the cast.iron man with The pipe
in his mouth-don't think did i; cred sew
en- times and oil the balls lodged in the
ceiling overhead, EXCEPT ono which went
through the toe Of my boot and struck il
the floor friend said, hadn't we better horn
horned started for bowling saloon 60,
part way friend proposed that we shonld
stop at milk punch place and take suck
took suck got to rolling place thought
I'D roll first ball didn't stay on the alley
the second let slip behind me, and it smash
ed bird cage and demolished canary
while the last one hit the pin-boy and knock
ed him through the side ofthe house friend
said shouldn't We 90 to The bar and "se
'rm up,"-"set 'em up" and kept doing 81
ill the floor looked like river. and triet
to drink the coal hod, under the impression
that it was a glass Of brandy and sugar
hot; friend said, shouldn't we julep-julep
cd /; he then proposed that we should cock
tail-cocktailed friend borrowed my pock
ct book and coat officer came, and here
am.
Mr.. Green was rcprimanded AM dischar
ged, further punishment being considered
unnecessary, in consideration Of bis los
..a.I. .ao.n. h. oIanbank