The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1854-07-20

individual addressed, though he did no
see fit to make any immediate rejoinder.
The squire had but little appetite; hi
wife remarked the fact and hoped 'tha
the simple exercise of getting breakfas
had not taken it away, as one person who
should be namcless, was in the habit O.
asserting.
The gentleman WINGED, and prepared
himself a generous slice of bread and but.
ter, which he proceeded to dispose of as
though he had lacked food for weeks.
When the morning meal was conclu-
ded, Mrs. Crosby donned her bonnet and
shawl, and remarking that she would send
home the dinner, left the house. Our
hero was now alone, and could carry on
operations without an eye witness; which
he observed was much more pleasant
Now we'll consult the list, he added,
aloud, and have things 60 on in regular
order. Here goes: Get breakfast,
clear table, wash dishes, put closet in or
der, wipe down shelves, cleanse sink, rub
silver, black stove keep fire, attend to
door bell, sweep hall, brush stairs, sweep
parlor, dining room and kitchen, dust fur
niture, trim lamps, do chamber work,
wash meat for oven, clean vegetables,
stew cranberries, make pudding and en-
tertain visitors, if they should happen to
call
Bless me is that all!' cried our house
keeper, 4 call that making a great fuss
about a little matter. 1t sounds larger
than it really is. I think I'll clear the
table, to begin with, as that is put down
next
So at it he went, knocking things hith-
er and thither at great hazard oftheir
demolishment As the idea didn't occur
to him that he should carry waiter full
of articles at one time, he made great
many journies between the dining room
and kitchen, which necessarily consumed
considerable time. The dishwashing
proved rather an awkward affair and
didn't progress SO rapidly as he could
have wished. He couldn't wipe the cups
handily, the saucers seemed bungling,
and tho plates would slip back into the
water; but after breaking costly cut
glass tumbler, (Which he felt certain of
matching the next day. knocking large
piece out of the platter, (Which he resolv-
ed to paste together while dinner was
cooking,) and cracking pet dish of his
wife's, while setting up pile of plates,
the matter was brought to close. The
knife cleaning was another thing altogeth-
er; there wouldn't be any danger of break
ages, and he could 'put'em through quick.
But the black spots were deeper set than
he imagined, and required the exhibition
of more elbow grease than he had any l.
dea of. He contended longest with the
carving knife, which, in consequence of
being awkwardly handled, inflicted q
deep cut, as slight token of renem-
brance. This was mistake that caused
many other mistakes during this day, ow-
ng, undoubtedly to the clumsy bandage
which the squire wrapped about his hand.
1t may be well to remark that the a.
foresaid list was carefully laid in "a conspic-
nous position, and frequently referred to.
He attended to the silver and then glanc-
ed at the clock
The hands pointed to an hour which
admonished him that time waited for no
nan, and no sympathy for inexperienced
lousekeepers.
What's next on the doket, wonder!'
le thought, consulting his memorandum.
All stove to black! Well, l must admit
hat the coffee which boiled over hasn't
its appearance much. I'll look
lp the brush
So saying he prepared the polish and
let about the operation at once. The
tove was quite hot, and he couldn't work
o any advantage. The more liquid he
would put on the more it would sputter
md fly off with a cracking noise. He
hickened the liquid, but it would not ad-
lerc TO the stove, and he began to think
t was bewitched
At this stage of affairs he happened to
ecollect that somebody had said that
milk was the best thing to wet the powder
With; SO he fastened to the pantry, and
pouring out quantity, applied it to the
refractory stove. That didn't mend the
natter much, and the smell of burned
milk began to be quito disagreeable. The
'oom was filled with smoke, the floor a
'ound the stove was dotted with little
pots of blackening, and the squire's
lands were certrinly not the cleanest that
,ver was, when a violent ring of the bell
'esounded through the house, making our
zero start as though he had been surpris.
d in some dishoIorable act
He looked towards the door, then at
ais hands, and finally at large stain on
lis shirt bosom, which bore strong re-
'emblance to blacking.
4 won't go! they may ring all day If
hey like ! he exclaimed impatiently, 60
ng to the wash basin and trying to bring
1is hands to their accustomed color; but
a second ring warned him that some per-
son without was not inclined 'to give up
;o.'
'Confound the titinabula | suppose
t's some old m an for boots, clothes, grease
Or rags. If he does it again I'll bring a
suit of assault and battery cried our in
,ipient housekeeper, making few des-
L. i: h .Jo@b ub;ob ha