Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-08-31
MAN IN THE WHITE COAT ON A BEN
| DER WITH THE WIDDER

On mercliul Jehosophst and big onions
what time I've had with that wilder
We chartered an omnibus for two, on Christ
mas and started. WIdder, said ], where
shall we 60 10. She blushed and said she
didn't like TO say. sxed her she must
say!
"Well, Jehnel !" she said elf you insist
upon it, and ! have my choice, I'd rather 60
to church -
"Whai for, wilder - ] said.
! She blushed worse than ever and said
''Oh, Jehuel, how can you ask me ,"
"Canse ] want to know" said !.
"Then it isis (blushng redder than
raw beef it is such cold weather now, and
oh Jehuel, ] can't say it :"
ooh pshaw, wilder, spit it out. What do
you mean ~
The wilder rized then. She billed right
she:
''If you can. understand me; you're a
hearlless brute. so you sre!''
''Hell"! Hold your horses! said J.,
What's all this about !? Wilder, I'm not q
brute nor never was with any % your sex,
but if m in called me that I'd kick him like
horse ~
And then boiled and unbnttoned my
coat collar TO keep from Dustin off the but
tons. The wilder saw | WAS going to ex-
plode or collapse my windpiPes, and she
flung her arms around my neck, put her
lips to mine, and cooled right down.
"Jehue, dear !" said she in an insinuating
way, and a voice sweet as nd-organ,
"Jehuel, honey, want TO GO TO church to
&c. mor-no can't say it all, you finish The
word Jehuel sweet!
"UhGt word, marm :" said |.
ooh you stupid Jehuel, dear, mean the
word married. JehueI love -
"Marr ell, wilder - said |. "Did you
mean that?
'Indeed did, Jehuel love -
"Lo"k here mann, my name ism, Jehuel
Love, nor Jehuel Dear, nor Jehuel Sweet.
I'd have you to know. And won't get
married to nobody but one, and you're not
the she 2"
Oh pewter pennies but didn't she rave !!
She made one dash al me, lodged, and
she went but up against the upper end of
the omnibus! Crack ven. her combs ell
TOO smash went her bran new bonnet that ]
didn', buy for her, and down she wen, with
her face in The straw. But in a second she
arose again made one more dash al me. ]
opped-she went over me and butied The
door Of the omnibus. The strap broke and
on, she wen'--her CATER boots higher than
her head as she struck The pavement "Drive
on J" yelled tn the driver.
"Woman owe board oman overheard ~
yelled passing sailor.
Stop tina, White Coa,-breach of promise
-rewart- lIerald-publish -
shrieked the wilder in tones Of mortal ago.
nv. while tears of blood slreamed from her
beautiful pug nose.
Drive on-drive on =" | shouted.
"WheGe TO - asked the driver.
ITO the Devil-lo Hsrlem-AIacomb's
egrool's-anywhere so that we es-
capped ma.Iimonv and the wilder -
lie started and so did the wilder. Then
we had j. up the Avenue, The Buss having
the star, about hundred Yards. Foot, by
foot, the wilder gained. Thinks ], JehueI,
You are goner. though h, II was best TO
tighten ship. So first hove overheard all
the straw She gained still. Overheard
wen, the cushions. Sill she gained =
"Nlo steam, driver, for meIcy's sake -
yelled.
Coin faster than the law allows now -
he replied. Thirteen miles an hour -
Oh Johosopha, how The wilder did run
She hove off her bonnie. and came up hand
over hand A !hought struck me. took
off my white coat and flung j! right down
in her path. She came up 10 1t, stopped,
and like she panther, tore il IN ii'n'ers-
On how the pieces flew. wept to see il
90, but life is dearer than coat, and Fish
er is making me new one. Here we gam
ed full two hundred yards. But on she
came again. Once more could | see the
green in her ewes. Oh, merciful Moses how
felt. "Driver,'' said ], "kill them horses
or get an other mile faster out of 'em."
''Will you pay for 'em - he axed
eyes | cried-yes if you save me from
the wilder"
Then he pu. il on. Jehu but we did 60
The wilder no longer gained, but she held
her own. Thus we had it-ou' past the
Red House-through IIarlem-where Cap
tain Graham, with three mounted policemen
in vain attempted TO catch us-he probably
supposing we were running away with the
Irish Directory Fund Of $4,000. My on
ly hope was in reaching Degrooss ahead OF
her for knew they would hide me. We
were OH the bridge, and oh Moses the dra"
was up. and sloop going through. 'Drl-
ver," said I''jump that bridge and Ill make
you independent for life ~
..I'Il do i, or die !" he cried. lind he did!
The wilder tried to foler-j Jumped into
| Harlem rlvcr-it was ebb .ide aud her body
hasn't yet been found.
Men can impars their knowledge, but no