The Delaware herald., 1854-05-17
SOlilOquy of a Loafer,

Let's see, where am II This is-coal I'm
layIn' on. How'd get here! (refects.) Yes,
J. mind now. Was comm up street-met
whecl-barrow--was drunk-comin' 'tother way
the whecI-barrow fell over me, or | fell over
the wheel-barrOw-and one on us fell into the
cellar-don't mind which now-guess it must
a been me. I'm nice young man, yes am
tight! tore shot drunk Well | can't help
it'-taint my fault--wonder whose fault it's -
Is it Jones' fault no. Is it my wife's fault!-
well it amt. Is it the wheel-barrows fault!
moo. It's whiskey's fault. Who is whskey!
Has he large family! got many relations &
All poor, | reckon. | think | won't own him
any more. I'll cut his acquaintance. I've had
that notion for about ten years, and always ha-
ted to do it for fear of hurtin' his feelings-Pll
do it now-l think Liquors injurin' me, its a
spolin' my temper.
Sometimes | get mad when I'm drunk and
abuse Betz and the brats it used to be Lizzie
and the children; that's some time ago, can
jlst mind it; when | come home evenin's she
used to put her arm around my neck and kiss me,
and call me dear William. When come home
now she takes her pipe out of her mouth and
puts her hair out of her eyes and looks at me
and says somethln' like, you drunken brute!
shut the door after you, we're cold enough,
havn' no fire, 'thout lettin' the snow blow in
that a way. Yes, she's Betz and I'm Bill now:
amt good bill nuther; think I'm counter
feit-won't pass tavern without goin' in an
gettn' drink. Don't know what Bank I'm on,
unless I'm OH bank of coal; last Sunday was
on the river bank, drunk.
| stay out pretty late, now, sometimes I'm
out all night; fact is, Pm out pretty much all
Over-out of friends, out of pocket, out at the
elbows and knees, and always outrageously
dirty, so Bet says-but then she's no Judge, for
she's never clean herself | wonder why she
don't wear good clothes; may be she hasn't got
EN-; whose faults that! tain mine-it must be
whskey's.
Sometimes I'm in, however; Tn intoxicated
now, and in somebody's coal cellar. There is
one good principle I've got-I won't get in
debt, | never could do it. There, one of my
coat tails is gone, got tore off expect when |
fell down here--I'll have got to get new suit
soon. A fellow told me the other day I'd make
good sign for paper mill; if he wasn't so big
Id lIck'd him. I've had this shirt nine days
and I'm afraid ii won Gene off without tearin'
People ought to respect me more'n they do, fol
I'm IN hole-y orders-I amt dandy, though
my clothes is pretty near GREAsE-ian style.
guess tore this window shutter in my pants
tie other night, when set down on the wax in
Ben Sugg's shops-I'll have to get it mendet
up, or will catch cold-I amt very stout as il
is, though | am full in the face-as the boy
says, I'm about as fat as match, and as healthy
as the small pox. My best hat is standin
guard for a window pane that went out the
other mornin' at the invitation of brickbat.-
It's gettin' cold down here wonder how II
get out; | amt able to climb--If had drinl
| could think better; let's see, amt got nj
three cents; wish | was in tavern, coulC
sponge one. When anybody treats, and says
come fellows always think my names fel
lers,' and I've got TOO good manners to refuse
Well, must leave this or they'll arrest me 70
an attempt at burglary. amt come to tha
yet. Anyhow it was the wheel-barrow did tn
, harm, not me.