The Sierra citizen., 1854-03-11
No. 5.
. SQuizzins. y


A late number OF the San Diego Herald
contains the following decidedly rich
sermon from the pen of Squizzins." It
is a burlesque on the style of the Rev.
Zeke Pugh, one Of that class of preachers
who think the only way to bring sinners
to repentance is by frightening them out
of their wits. and not by gently persuading
them to contemplation of the beauties
and benefits Of religion. After giving
description of the Rev. Zeke, he proceeds
to introduce the sermon thus e Hso8
A man is known by his works, and /
cannot give you a more forcible idea Of
our parson than by quoting portion Of
his last "Sabber-day Sermon" which has
been variously pronounced by those Of his
flock who have heard it to be a "swinger'--
ga smoker''-"a bowel staver"-ssa regu-
lar rispsingin hightalutin' bangor" took
down what send you in short hand, so
you can trust to its correctness:
BROTHERS AND SISTERS My text to-
day will be found in the Gospel, according
to Gunter, vi. chapter, 49th verse -
"Hell's yawning sinners; stand by to
dodge" Sich, my hearers, was the awful
warning old Ebenezer belched out when
he stood on the tremenjus margint of the
the sulfurious pit, up to where his legs
jined i'll muck and miry cla, with clouds
of smoke above, and blood around, and
groans and sighs, and shrieks and
screams, and flames Topping, and fire
sizzlin. and turpentine stlnkhl, and what
Was it saved him from caven' in? Was
it grace or justification, or election, or
constipation Nary time Twas
iaith-he had faith, and-what ?--He
oodged. He lodged and was saved
saved from the p3stiftrous infatuation of
the burnin' fiery furn ses, and he meow sits
on the the warm side of the selestial
chimbly corner smoking the lii of con.
tentment, with nothin to dew buL To drink
sky-blue smashes and hug gals with pink
wings Meow that's what yew all ort to
do; dodge temptation if yeow want to be
saved. Ef temptation crosses yewer path,
go around it. jump over it, crawl under it
ii yer can, but ct yer can't do nary one Of
these, remember that
"Hell's yawnin,' and ''stand by to tododge~
Eff Filistien meets yew in the street and
calls ye unrighteous names, and.reviles We,
and biasphemes ye, and calls We d-d
scaliy-wag, yeou'll be in sore temptation
to cave in his laundering guord, and gin
him leetle touch O. Be.c;ler Kay, but
don't dew it-rcsist temptation, and eff he
SHES his fist at ye-dodge dodge and
yeou'll be saved
Satan's cunnin'-cunnin' as kioty in
a hen roost, and he'll kiver temptation with
meflasses SOS ter ketch yew sinnin' flies,
and ef ycw onst light on it, yew is stuck
EASTERN ice calr-lriz. Old Belzebub amt
no Muggins, and he's up ter all sorts of
dodges to swindie ye. He don't carry
pennerial and catnip, and skimity weed in
his pocket SOS to dreOwn the stink O. brim-
stun for nothin' oh, no so ye must lock
out sharp or he'll suck ye hl---look out
sharp, stand by to dodge. And dearly
beloved sisters and brothers, eff it should
happen, and it amt impossible that even
doi gin won't do. that yew must cut and
run for it, and satans arter ye, and it's
Titus and popcorn who'll win,. and arter
all ycw lind hes gainin' on ye and there
don seem to he any hope, there's alters
a way to escape-theres aller; hope for
the pcrsewerin'. Ef he onst gifts paw on
ye yer gone tad-pole, ard the only way
to come tae guygugIes over him, is to be
prepared aforehand and soap ger coat tall
Let US sing-the l67 slam, eosnmencin'
at the paws at sps9iaas
81 never n,lssed dear gazelle," &C. 80