Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1854-08-02

SHE CAN BUT SHE CANNOT
Write an ode, Darn q stocking,
Or a sonnet, Nor make a pudding,
Or song Of the fairies, Nor go to market,
Or u chaunt Of the mer- Nor boil an egg,
maids, Nor work a pair of slip
Or a hymn to liberty, pers,
Or tanzas on q p~ortrait, Nor prattle loving non
Or lines on nay uuele's sense,
birthday, Nor makethe hearth tidy,
Or occasional verses, Nor dandle a baby,
Or stanzas for music, Nor carve a joint,
Or an epic poem; Nor alas catch a husband,
BACHELORS were not favored in Golden
time" as now, indeed they were looked upon
as little better than mules or oxen. In 1895
the town Of Eastman passed an ordinance,
that every unmarried man in the township
should kill six black-birds or three crows an
nually while he remains single and as a
penalty for nonconformance, should not be
married till he obeyed the order. Such a
law in our time would either " be unconstitu-
tional" or it would ~extinguish blackbirds
and prohibit crows forever-we are not
sure which.
Our TINES are not to be trusted progress
has taken hold Of all creation and threatens
to fly to parts unknown with the whole con
Germ. Old fogyism is throttled by Young
America and the old "fader" swears by his
kneebuckles that 1T amt to be did" Wo
man, hearing the "hullaboloo" without doors
rushes from the pantry, and, with a flourish
Of brooms, threatens to take hold of the rein'
and driveall mankind to the-washtub. TIL,
whole world is turning round, and which
side is to turn up, our philosophy can't di
vine. If the other side turns up, we shall
turn over a new leaf and get lots Of adver
Using to do, some of this stamp:-
"Plain ewing done here, by Simeon Baker !"
John Smith, millinor, cloak, and dress maker;
Susan Brown, blacksmith; " Jenny Linn drive
n hack;
"Naucy Green's omnibus to smithfeld and back.
"Moustaches for ladies, whiskors and canes;
Julia Jesup cures bruises and sprains,
Lectures on surgery, a%mputates limbs;
Horace g. Neal makes bonnets, and trims"
edith M]ontrose, Attorney at Law;
"Ncw livery stable, by Emeline Shaw,
1.-THE "SrAR" is bought out by Miss Bernice Burn
"W. c.. Dobb, sole Agent for MOTIFS Baby Jumper.
B5" witnessing the deplorable conditio
of a nice young man." not long since, VIII
had been a hero at a fashionable party W
are disposed to warn all young 'uns to-
watch. Hear us
In going to parties, just mind what you're at;
Beware Of your head, and take care of your hat
Lest you ind that ftvorite son Of your mother,
Has an ache in the one and a brick in the other.
ES- A Womau's Rights Lecturer mentions.
ono Of the six objections to a woman's being ma
ricn, that she loses the control other children-E
This is positively n-com-pre-hen-si-ble
DENTrsT.-Au obliging fellow who fin
work for his own teeth by taking out you
BRANDY SMAsu.-Drinking old French /
you fall on the sidewalk, bursting your
yorite ticker nad your head ditto.
WnisEEr PuNcH.-Two suckers pumm
ing each other in the bread basket at the
of a huckster cart on lection day.
Tn HEIGHT OF INPuBEScE.-A saucy
treading on the tail Of a comet.
How TO BREAK A cOLT.-Pile up sevt
sacks Of sand on his back.
How TO NAKE AN EDITOR HAPPy.-S
him twenty new subscribers.