Columbia gazette. [volume] (Columbia, Tuolumne County, Calif.) 1852-1855, 1854-12-30
nj rs C B u u A ~ Y.
Doesticls Hears the Street Preaching

Doesticlns Hears thu Street Preaching
Got tired of New York, although it il
town Of considerable consequence
Wanted to see the world; SO started fol
the seven by-nine State Of Rhode leland
where they single the houses all over,
outside and in, and put the windows in
the roof; where they make their rail fen
ces out of cobble stones; where the ducks
roost on the fence, and hatch their young
ones in the tops of the cherry trees;
where the men look SO much alike, their
wives often kiss the wrong individual.
(Damphool says it's way women have,
the world over.) Went to the city of
Providence, where all the men make jew
elry, and all the women believe in spirit
rapping, where they have got a bridge
wider than it is long, and Macadamized
on both sides: where all the plaster busts
OF great men have grey wigs on; where
they light the gas in the middle Of the
afternoon; where they drive five horses
tandem; where the apples grow as big as
washtubs, and the oysters obtain the en-
ormous size of three cent pieces.-Went
into the woods after chesnuts; couldn't
find any, but discovered a magnificent
tree in the distance-rejoiced exceeding
ly thereat- started for it-three quarters
of a mile away; went ahead over stones,
bitches, fences, briars, snakes, and stone
walls, until at last I reached it, and
found it was an elm, no chestnuts on it
got very mad; walked round the State a
couple of times, and took the FIRST train
for home.
Glad to see the old place again
Saw big crowd in the park-inquir-
ed about it, and was told the usual
Street Screechina was going on-want-
ed to see the fun-get good place on
fat Irishman's toes. Enter Gabriel
tin horn-hole in his pantaloons-
bull Dogge says that if angels have
wings, they are also provided with tails
hence this last item J thought it ex-
tremely probable. Gabriel mounted
one end of the City Hall steps, and after
a preliminary overture by the faithful,
resulting in four black eyes, damaged
nose, and a broken leg-the religious
services commenced-(Damphool was
entirely carried away by his sympatbies
for this last martyr, but soon discovered
that the fractured member was +" purely
vegetable" as the patent medicine men
say, and the injury was speedily re-
paired by means of a few single nails
and a piece of clapboard.) Gabriel
went in to win, but spite Of the sanctity
of his name and the holiness of the afore-
said breaches, he was not permitted a
clear field. A female, with bosom un-
dressed in the latest fashion petticoats
(Damphool says skirtcoats) not immac-
ulate stockings, through the texture
of which her delicate ankles were plain.
ly visible to the naked eye-whose
hair resembled molasses candy, while q
nose symmetrical and overgrown sweet
potato, and in hue not unlike the mar
tyred lobster !; ana whose teeth remind
ed noe sorcibly of the !" crags and peaks
mentioned by the man IN the play
took up her station on the other end Of
the steps. She, like Gabe, went in
for giving the Church of Rome 81 esse, =
but otherwise did not agree with him.
did not seem willing to go to Heaven
by his conveyance, but claimed to have
discovered some kind Of northwest
passage-some exclusive path "crosa
lots :" and she advocated her right ol
way with all her woman's power 81
tongue-in fact, they agreed only toll
erably-sArcades ambo'-beth Gel
stials, but Of . different breed-(B. D.
that sometime since they joined issue
on the Devils head, one asserting that