The Belmont chronicle, and farmers, mechanics and manufacturers advocate. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1848-1855, 1854-04-07
DEpoRTMENT IN CHURCH.

The correspondent ofthe Muscat Enquirer
thus discourses on the proprietes of behavior
in church:
On entering a church you should take off
your hat, if you are gentleman; ifa lady,
you can keep it on. You should sit down in
the slip as soon as you get near enough; if
you are accompanied by 'lady,' and she be
your SUPERIOR you must not both squeeze
into the slip together for something might
break; if she be your 'inferior,' let her 60 TO
some other church, You should not talk
aloud in meeting,' unless you be the preach
er.
Never go to your pew in hurry, unless
you are afraid you will get crowded out, and
at such triics be s,:~c md tuhe tho -ohortoot
cut, unless the choir are singing Il see him
ON his winding way II you are accompany
ing lady, she should open the door-that is
if she is SO disposed; if the lady accompanies
you, you should open the doo-; and il she be
your SUPERIOR and 'strong-minded,' go III,
butif inferior and opposed to woman's
rights let her go in,' but you put
Should you sit in slip beside fashion
able lady, you should not look at her during
service, especially il you are not good look
ing, for she might faint Never cast sleeps
eyes at the 'fair SEX during sermon time, una
less by previous arrangement. II you attend
. church with lady in the evening, you see
her home, unless somebody better looking
'cuts you out;' and in that case give him
Jesse for his :mpudence, but don't say any
thing to the lady, for size wasn't to blame,
poor thing. II you have small hand, and
chance to have ring on it, be sure and
keep it (the hand) in your pocket, folks might
think you wanted TO 'mnkc show Don't
/ look ut your watch in church, for 1t is evi.
dense that you have more regard for time
than eternity Never blow your nose when
you have 'chaw o. tobacco in your mouth
Tor you Nigh, get choked. Canes, umbrellas
and babies should be left on a stand at the
door.
| Don't change yonf seat unless there are
tacks in it, or 'the little wee darling dear
behind you pulls your hair; and even iheI
don't get uneasy or fdgetty, nor leave unit
there is pause in the sermon, and then g.
ont like the wick of a bob-tailed candle
Never van in church with a stretch,' TO
your suspendera might break, and you be ga
thered together as a scroll'-l mean if yo
are gentleman. When returning iro'
church, if you are an 'aged man. go quietl
and do not stop on the way, to 'cut up any
: your freaks. No lady should stay to chs
on the road unless she be SUPERIOR and
some consequence ..a
} Should the sermon exceed one hour an
7 forty minutes in length, you can shit you
position but not even then, unless you ca
get an easier one. If u lady is sitting b
Y your side, and she be your superior AM
{ gets to nodding, let her lean her head upo
4. your shoulder, but keep your eye out' and rt
, member that in Martin Van Buren's tran'
: laton of Homer we learn.
l '.That noOsing Illion wa Is the impending fall
If on taking your slip you find strange
? in il, don't kick him out, but let him be; an
if the sermon is as long as some we know o
he will get sufficiently punished for his auda
, city.