, 1854-09-23
A "pillc Countyo wedding.

BILE influence, aud the Belle Of all the con-
try around. OF course the cite OF the
ncighborhood were in attendance. Every
thing was there, and ereryfhiag was IN apt
readiness.
The Royal Tiger was present thar
And the Monkey and the Polar Bar
But that dignitary, to whom it was de-
signed TO assign the honor of master Of
ceremony, had not yet arrived But just
then some one spoke and said
"There comes Squa Ben Buncum.'
Quick the lights were trimmed and eve
rything put in place. As usual, agitation,
anxiety and joy were depicted on. every
face, and Mr.. Tom Wisdom, the honorable
host, walked out to meet the anxious
Squar TO welcome him in-inquire for
his health-thc news, &c.
The "Squar was n good humorcd
gentleman, but he was chiefly celebrated
for talents, astuteness, learning, &C., in his
populous township.
"Well," said the host, Ben, you have
been elected, but you had close time of
it my vote alone saved you. You beat
him but one vote only"
"That is all, Tom," replied Squar Ben.
{" But the next election III lick him
There's no use in talking, Mr.. Wisdom
without using the corn freely, and a lit
tie sly scandal and igag-that'S all the
chance"
"Ab, well, that's all over, and you are
the magistrate, Squar Ben, so come and
let's go in and see what the young folks
wish. Indeed, Squar Ben, are you alcdre
that you are expected to sag the ceremony.'
Benjamin Buncum now began to see the
awful responsibility of his Office, and to
" tremble from centre to circumference"
For he had never oliiciated in that inter-
esting capacity. They had not even done
him the justice to inform him Of the part
he was expected to perform, or he could
have prepared. He had no preparation
had no form-nor could any book be found,
high or low, having the marriage ceremony.
Hence, to take it off-hand," was the only
chance. An unfortunate and eXcrutiating
test for the newly elected "Squar."
The company was now arranged into a
q crescent. The "Squar" at his place,
and in came the parties-principals and
seconds-the gallants each bearing a can
die, which evinced the extent and luXuri-
ant range in that neighborhood. With
much assurance and dignity, the Squar "
looked around, and whole ages of learning
seemed to rush through his mind. He
though over everything he had dreamed
but all in vain There was a suppressed
litter all over the house. This admonished
him, he must say something, and in an ago
ny of desperation, he began:
The State of Missouri, - county, l
command you to"
This did not suit. Confusion and whis-
pering perplexed him the more.
"Give him chance-give the Squar a
chance" said strong voice from the door.
The Squar" made another effort:
Be it enacted by the General Assem-
bly, of the State of Missouri"
The "Squar" was again admonshed,
by tittering, that he must proceed with
something.
In agonizing desperation he began:
"When in the course of human events
it becomes"
Here he was touched by Mr.. Wisdom.
After pause he began again:
"0ur father who art in Heaven"
"He's repeating the Lords prayer"
says one.
The "Squar" raised his hopeless vision
to the ceiling for short time and began
anew:
"Know all men by these presents"
Here he was interrupted by general
noise, and a voice from the crowd:
He is writing deed"
Again he essayed:
Witness my hand and seal, this the"
Has concluded it-he will certainly go
on with the ceremony" said several voices.
:" In the name Of God, amen," he began
again.
Laughter from every direction-some
swearing.
"He is making his will" said one, al
thought he would not live long-he looks
prodigiously sad"
The next essay of the noble and learned
"Squar was:
ooh, yes oh, yes come into court
and"
care we to have court tonight ?" ejac-
ulated some one.
"Oh, yes come into court p replied
another, from the door. The laughter was
general.
1t may be supposed the bride and her
partner were somewhat hOrs de combat es-
pecially the former, but water and suitable
aromatics were-near; and Squar" Bun
cum was her friend and near by-he was
an untiring man and, after casting his
eyes around the room, he determined to
try again:
To the Constable or any other lawful
officer: Greeting -
Let's go. He's going to have us all
arrested p said several.
Then followed much confusion and dis
pleasure.