Thibodaux minerva., 1854-09-16
OMNIGENOUs PARAGRAPHS.

have no right to turn away the Needle from the Poll"
= A Charitable Lady.-So your mother is vel
poor ?-Beggar Boy: She is that She used to keep pc
nut stand but she took counterfeit one dol ar bill
h failed.
l. An Irish Notice. Whereas. Patrick O'Col
lately left his lodging, this give notice that if
does not return Immediately and pay for the he will
e advertised.
= Dennis, darlint och, what is it you're doing
"Whist, Biddy. Use trying an experiment" "Nurdhe
. what is it," It's givn' hot wather to the chickens
o they'll lay bold eggs !"
o The pawnbroker, though represented as
tacitun unciv individual is evidently the victim of
Vances when you introduce yourself?
Many tender tie is broken,
Many gentle heart distrest,
BY careless sentence spoken,
Spoken only jest.
Count Tracy complained to Foote that ma
had ruined his character So much the betrern renle
the wit for it ID bad one, and the sooner it wa
, destroyed, the more to your advantage"
' Mother, you mustn't whip me for running
F away from school any more" "Why?' because m
BOOK says that ants are the most industrious being
IN the world; and amt a tru-1nti"
EP1GRAM. Sir, admit your general rule
That every poet is fool;
But you yourself will serve to show it
That every fool is not poet.
A sailor, looking serious in a chapel, in Bos
ton was dske by clergyman he felt any change where
upon the tar put his hand into his pocket replied
darn cent"
The following instructions were given by
Lord Pamerston to foreign Office clerk, for answering
e.ter 1t Is an admirable specimen of his curt way
To use backer ink 8. to round his letters and Thai
there is no h in exorbitant.
A person who was present at conversation
in which very dull play liked of and of its i'll sue
cess in acting attempted defence of it by saying 1t was
not hssed. True" says another, 81 grant you that
but no one can hiss and cape at the same time"
lady L. walking inng W with H.. her husband on the
and importation. why, my dear, repe he,
were on board yonder vessel be exported and should
be transported
| Admiral Duncan's address to the officers who
board his ship for instructions previous the en-
gagement with Admiral de Winter, both aconc and
humorous: Gent'emen you see severe Winter ap-
| ire" - eN0N
At an evening party proposal was made for
rubber at whist After several deals, elegant and
handsome young lady thus addressed young gentleman
who sat near her. "What will you take for your hand p?
The young gentleman modesty replied his eye the
| time brightly beaming, Yours in return.'
The Boston Post says, five women will spread
their clothes to take the entire side of omnibus
thus occupying the room designed for eight even if
another woman presents herself the door, they will cry
out You can't come in here there amt no room but
if man wants to get in they make easy enough
right down between them.
The gentlest task-master we ever knew was
blacksmith who every evening to his apprentices:
Come, boys let's leave of work and 60 saving wood
The blacksmith must be the brother of the farmer east
who, one season, when he building house, used
to try and get his hired out with him play dig cellar
by moonlight
A little boy about two years old having just
finished famous piece of pie of which he is very fond he
was summoned by his mother say his prayers and go
to bed Kneeng at her side he repeated after her that
Heaven taught petition "our Father who art in Heaven"
&C., until she came to the passage" Give this day
daily Bread when, raising his head and looking up into
her face. he said: Oh, no. mother -pie!- say per'
Some author, we remember not who, informs
how we became indebted for the red They
OF pure spotess white when Eden they fir spread out
their leaves to the morning sunlight of creation Eve
she gazed upon the tntess could not suppress her d
niraton Of the beauty but stopped down and imprinted
warm kiss on is snowy BOSOM The stole the scarlet
tnge from her velvet lip and yet wears it. -.
The Constitutional tells story of an Ameri-
can young lady who had just been married captain in
the The bridegroom having been ordered join his
ship. the bride the secretary Of the navy
erred him to the 5h of the oath chapter Of Deuer
onomy, which says, When man hath taken wife,
he shall go war; neither shall he charged with any
business but he shall be free year, and shall cheer
the wife he hath TAKEN"
A little friend of ours whose father was in
sructng him in the way he should "come up, said to his
patriarch, Pa, where are you going when you die? His
father REPLIED hopeI shall not go tothe other place
and hope shall 60 to Heaven" The youngster rubbed
his head moment and looking up, exclaimed, WELL pa,
want to go where you do anyhow" l-z+ |
There are few persons advan cedin years who |
place. An old gentleman aged only eighty four years,
being informed Of the death Of an acquaintance at the ad
age Of answered ~ am sorry to hear Of
stituton naturally weak and he habuay careless
Of his health always predicted that he would not be long
lived"
Take woman to miliner's store to buy bon
The manageress of of the extensive estab
shmens in London in the Of her evidence short
time since in case Of breach of PROMISE declared that
aides always in good spirits when they 60 the miners
buy bonnet Here have valuable recipe for those
gentlemen whose ladies troubled with ennui
ulens pouts don't feel very we'll" and other delightful
eminine institutions.
An exchange tells story of a miserable
lrunken who staggered into Sunday school, and for
minutes listened very atentivey the questions pro-
knowledge Of Scripture he stood up leaning the front of
he pew with both hands, "Parson B-,' said he, task |
Of them hard quesshuns Uncle Joseph" said
you're in the bonds Of sin and the depths of in
uity? "Yes h and in the gall of bitterness too Ask
ne another ques'shun." @32 '
The following circumstance occurred in vii
age church in England the visitation Of the Bishop Of
be Diocese for the purpose of administering the ordinance
( confirmation The clerk, who usually gave out the
and hymns wishing to celebrate the honor Of his
race,s visit commenced as follows Let us sing to the
raise Of God, pstGna OF my oacn conp0sing:
The mountains skipped like frightened rams,
The little hills did hop,
To welcome into town
5.t7 His Grace, the Lord Bishop. II
BOYIe ROCHE WAS Tue ITlSH uTOll OF L0e lflSl
louise Of Commons Indignant at receiving small bottles
his wine merchant he took occasion suggest Par
ament that by law every quart bottle should hold quart
Of his invitations to an irish nobleman amusngy
auivoca " / hope my lord, II you ever within q
e of my house. that you stay there all night" Nor
rebuke his shoemaker when he had the gout wanting
natural humor. Oh you're precious blockhead to do
recy the Of what desired you told you to
ake Of the shoes larger than the oher and instead
that You have made one OF them saer than the other
the very opposite"
Tho Snorfinr Maoazine folIe Tho follo1v;nr | c
tile anecdote, which OF short time SINCE certain
ishop felt it his duty t. with one of his clergy
r hunting. Well, your lordah p" the reply, aI
conclude recined his lordship that you allude to
aving seen my name among the list Of Duchess
but you Twas not in the same room with the
during any part Of the evening" That my lord
exactly my case" WAS the truthIess rejoinder. "Pm
in the field with the hounds" The conversation
ropped and-broke.