Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1850-1854, 1854-10-12

] beg the crowd of Litera;,
From lite to humping great T.
To take lesson if they please,
On tanning out our 5 with Es
For pupils, I'll select The Prcss,'
And t-r t-s, as they possess,
Beyond all question, or dispute,
The pluck 10 put each other drought,
With all the learning of the schools,
That fool with cant, or cant with fools!
And here, my most flcetious friend,
The Press, will doubtless condesccnd
To break a lance upon our pates
Myself and the aforesaid Y-t-s,
And every other lettcrcd gawky
Who spells the favored burg Milwaukee.
OF late, find the great Orthog-
RaphstS are getting all agog,
And driving their tremendous quilts
AT us, the little Jacks and GillS,
Threatnng to take us DER their knees
And 'bung' our Is out with their Is!
COnfound their skull-caps! let them try
Their strength at 'gouging' out my |!
The gimcracks! literary asses!
Who think the + the / surpasses
I'll give them all, across their. brccCh,
a touch of my unlettercd switch,
Then turn them o Ter, the reprUbates,
For cudgelling, to P-t-r f-t-s!
But first, the advocates for Els
Will give attention, if they please,
And listen to the reason why,
| advocate the letter /.
The first and most conclusive reason
Why Is should be preferred to E'S in
Spelling, is this: It's Arrays better,
Of tro, fuse the most captd leiter'
And DER all its compcers rises
And most conspicuous of its size Is!
Another reason and most weighty
To all the sporting Litcrati,
(Such as my doctor W-lc-tt is
With bis keen eye and genial phiz,)
Is this, that Dating all debates
With Grabbed sticks, or crusty patcs)
Like woodcock, just before they rise,
Milwaukic's seen best with two Is!
And this, no doubt, is just the reason
We always use two Is in vision,
And find in politics that one |
Upon the theirs set as Il spy!
And now, I beg my general K-g,
Who takes a gibe to give q Aing,
To give MS all a reason why,
He 'pummels out her derter |,
And leaves Milwaukee like jug,
With COMPOUNDED ugly mug
And here, wei take 4 hearty laugh,
Scion les regles lie ronkogrdyhe,
To see Milwaukee like the goose
That jumped into the brambe bush
And found herself so 'wondrus wise,
She scratched out only half her IS!
And ever after had to be
Pronounced like little Water-ce,
Or like that famous stream you see
Away dows south in Tennessee
of which the accent has to be
Thrown back upon the antipc--
Multi, as in Okefinok-ee.
A pesky swamp in odd George"
,Iee-ru-sa-lem! what accents these!
Confound the everlasting Els,
The little and the great Pcdees,
And all your literary geese
Who pride themselves so much on easel
And most intensely damned be he,
Who darcs profnnc our fair cit-ec'
With accent on the final f.,
AS they pronounce old Congaree."
Tho b'yond all cavil, it should be
So, with our Kings OrthOgraphee,
l mean the Generals, who you see,
Calls on our Peter, without fee
To enter up his 'cognovee,'
While from his nose, with fingers three,
The latter wrinkles, No, Sir &C.
Now, all the Press will please % cave
Or own their King to be 'knavc!
While Elbcrt Herring Qui}iS will take
His breath, for Peg sus' sake!
Done at ITauItsha, ,cithom Fimpug, IN n
263oh year ofthe Oiympiads.
NOn-Intervention, Popular Sovereign
ty, SquatterOlogy and NiggerolOgy.
Non Intervention was invented by Gc1
Cass to evade the Slavery question
1t is the CASTLE of Doughfaces.
Popular SOrernienHy means the sam
rs the other, and was invented by Dou!
las because the name has more popula
meaning.
SquatieroloGy was invented by the A
ti-RenterS of New York, to justify the
robbery Of the Van Rensselaer, land
The name is not quite Synonymous wit
Robberology, but our philology won't a
low us to explain the difference. 1t
the halfway link between man and de-
il, law and anti-law. civilization and la
bar.tv, against which God and good me
have been at war for G000 wears.
Niggerology is the triumph of John
Cllhoun,s doctrines, that Slavery is
blessing liberty curse, and that the or
should have national protection in ordC
to root the other out of existence IIcnC
our present Administration is devote
principally to hunting niggcrS in the Ere
States, hunting RiggerS in Cuba. in ID,
minica, in South California, in Sout
Ameri n and wherever they may be foun
provided only they are slaves. Ilenc
the President sent several regiments
soldiers to Boston and guaranteed the
compensation from the national Treas,
~. 10 catch poor unarmed ucgrol lIen(
our Congress lcgislated for most of Il
year past to reopen Nebraska and kal
saS 10 Slavery, for the annexation Of O.
ba and for the purchase of some of Me.
leo, all to get up negro Slavery balan,
{ of power III Congress III order that fro
white men and free labor may ncy,
more secure a single favor from the Go,
ernment Hence. there is a niger in II
way of everything our free people wan
a niger in the way of the nomcstea
law, the Pacific Railroad, the River al
lIarbor Bill, and Bills for every interc:
presented by frccmen for the benefit
free labor; and hence, we give the Scient
of governing for the exclusive interest
'segroti0m, the name Of NIGGERoLoGY.-
GRANT County Herald
KNOW-NOTHING TICKET.
New York, 9TH.
In the trial of Mr. Graham. a motto
was made by the District Attorney tn,
new jury be empanelled, in consequent