Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-08-05
A Candidate for Membership.

odd Sieve or lying Stevens as he
was lamiiiarly called, by virtue of q
strong original genius and an indelatiga
Ble pc severance and application, had ac- :
quired the reputation of being the great
est liar that ever existed in the State Of
Michigan. Whenever he made his ap-
pearancc, therefore. ct muster or training.
he was sure to be surrounded by hos of
eager listeners lie greatly excelei lae
renowned Munchausen, who simply told
eXtrayagant stories, snd sometimes blum
dered on the truth. Steve, on the other
hand, Beyor told word or truth. even
by mistake, in his life, and lied circu:n>
stancially and in every particular. In a
short time it came to him as natural as
eating and drinking, or rather as breath
ing for he would not oDly lie to listen.
ers, but even when he had M other per.
son to talk to, he would tell lies to him
self just to keep his hand in. This fact
was ascertained beyond any doubt by his
denying it in the most solemn manner
when somebody accused him Of the prac.
tice.
1t was Mr.. Stevens misfortune. at enc
time, to lose good deal of money on q
horse race. This made him feel uncOm-
monty serious, so be went to camp meet
ing, which was held abUu five miles
from his residence, t. sec if he could not
MAKE up littlo by Shaking prop with
the boys. They happened however to
be too much for him that time, and he
was completely cleared out. This made
him if possible feel more serious Than
ever, and as there happened to be pow
erful preacher there, who could make
himself heard at the distance of a mile,
he thought he would turn over new
leaf at once. When he got home, there
fore, the first thing he did was to send
for the minister. The worthy man came,
and to his extreme amazement, found that
Stevens wanted to Join the Church
4 have no hesitation in layirg your
proposition before the bretheren,' sad the
old man trying to smother a laugh.
'Of course you haint, responded Steve,
with great onfdence.
And if you give satisfactory evidence
of amendment. Mr.. Stevens continued
the minister, EMPHASIZING the word, 'they
might take you on probation, at any rate.
we have meeting tonight, and can let
you know to morrow
Probation be d-dogged' = circulated
Steve, as the minister hastily retreated,
why can't they let me join a. once while
| feel like it 2
The proposition. as might have been
expected, created q real sensation. There
was hardly member Of he church, male
or female, who had not, some time or
other, been vctimizod by Sleve's Sian
derous tongue, and they could hardly
bear his name with patience. Some OF
them went so far as to say hat il he
joined, they would leave, and that settled
the matter, for they were among the
'forehanded' members who could afford
to speak out, because the church could
not afford o lose them.
However, to avoid any trouble with
an unscrupulous fellow Ike Steve, it was
resolved to break the matter to him as
gently as possible. Two of the most re-
spectacle men in the church were ap-
pointed to call upon him, and it was gen
orally understood that such Was their
known mildness Of disposition that every
possible excuse consistent with truth
would be made for rot receiving him.
The rest Of the story must be told in
Steve's own words.
'When old Deacon Peabody came
along, sot in the b9ck door whitlin' a
hoe handle, and | hope to suffer if wasn't
mad enuf to rare right up. A cousin OF
my wiCe's whose sister was a member,
had come over airIy and told US all about
it,
Good molnin,' Mr. Stevens. SAYS th9
old hypocrite, with face as long as a
yard of pumr-water.
4 said nothin,' but kept on a whi,lin'.'
Il came down to see you this morning,
says he.
well, says I how do you like my
looks 2
'Oh,' says he, 'whas l mean is. that
came down to labor with you.'
q Work away, then, why don't you |!
\ "ds dik tlldt lC Sot cut
'But, Mr.. Stevens, said he, very sol
q EMMY. 'the church sent me down here tc
talk with you minute
We'll, you've been talkin' for more'r
five minutes, Deacon Peabody says
: and you've said nothin' yet; now, when
are you goin' to begin ?
sThe old Israelite looked mad enuff tc
bite my head off at snap, but though
=. it best to keep cool, SO he drew long
: breath and went on.
S Nobody wants to hurt your feelings o1
: make any trouble, Mr.. Stevens, bul the
. church have come to the conclusion that
{, perhaps on the whole, under the circum
i stances. and in view of everything, i
: might possibly be best all around, and ia
= ing all things into consideration, for 20,
# not to be to hasly in apply ying, jist OF pre-
: sent They think, on mature reflection
lshet it might be as we'll if you'd conclud