Mineral Point tribune. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1854-1858, 1854-12-06
L { F Us CHI 0i TIE.


Rufus Choate is picture to look at
and a crowder to spout He is about six
feet six or six feet seven in his socks !:
supple as an eel and wiry as a corkscrew
His face is a compound of wrinkles 'yal
Ter janders" and Jurisprudence He has
small. keen, piercing eyes, and head
shaped like mammoth goose egg, big END
up: his hair, black and curly, much re-
sembling bag of wool in g admirable dis
order" or brush heap in gale of wind
His body has no particular shape. and
his wit and legal lodges" have set many
| a judge into a snicker and so confoundea
jurors as to make it almost impossible for
them to speak plain English. or to tell the
truth for the rest of their natural lives
Rufus is great for twisting himself up
squirming himself around and prancine.
jumping, and kicking up the dust when
steam's up. His oratory is first rate. ar
guments, ingenious and forcibIe He gen
orally makes stem strike down Judge
and jury at the end of every sentence
He is great on fowery expressions and
highfalutin 4" "fubbubs" Strangers most
ly think he is crazy, and the rest scarcely
understand what he is about. He invoi-
ces his time and elocution 1000 per cent
over ordinary charges for having ones
self put through a course of law
Rufus Choate is about so years Of age.
perhaps over. He is considered the ablest
lawyer in New England or perhaps in the
United States His hand can't be deci-
phered without the aid of pair of com
passes and a quadrant His autograph
somewhat resembles a map of Ohio and
looks like piece of crayon sketching
done in the dark With a three pronged
fork, He has been in the Senate and
may be, if he has time to fish for it. Pres
ident of the United States.
IL Smith. the Razor strop man. occa-
sionally breaks off from the subject of the
very superior quality of the straps, and
gives his audience short lecture on tem-
perance, in his own peculiar droll way
Here is a short extract
SMITHS CAT-"When | drank crog |
owned cat poor, lean. lantern jawcd
thing that was always gettinginto a scrape
As | had nothing for her to eat, she was
compelled to take to the highway. the
neighbors were continually CRYING. Gus
that Smiths Cat, she's drunk all my milk
Poor thing, she had to steal or die : for
she found bad picking at home, for the
poor mice that were left. were so lean and
scraggy that it took several of them to
make shadow and decent cat would
have starved to death in three weeks on
an allowance Of eighteen per day. But
when [ reformed, things took different
turn. The kitchen being well provided.
the crumbs plenty; the old cat grew fat
and honest together. Even the mice
grew fat and oily, and the old tab would
make hearty supper on two of them and
then lie down and snooze with the pleas
ing consolation of knowing that when she
awoke there would be few more left of
the same sort
And again-when [ was a beer guzzler
mother cried, father cried Bin cried. Moll
cried, and the cat cried. But when |
signed the pledge, father sung, mother
sung wife sung, Bill sung, Moll sung, Bet
sung. the cat sung, and the tea kettle sung,
and | bought new frying pan and put
nice piece of beef steak on it and that
sung. and that's the kind of singing for a
working man"