The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1854-11-08
NO. 2,
II. II III @ Il @ II q

40 LHCCsE.--:& few Years since
there was Professor at y ncighbor-
Ing college, with whom punctuality
formed part ofhs religion. Among
other, things, he was particular that
every member his class should he
present at 1.-THE recitation of every term,@
and lfany were absent he called upon! upon!
their classmates to state, if theFs
could. the cause thereof II oncn
happened that one ofthis pnflls had
died during The vacation, of which tho
old man was not aware; and noticiiic
that his seat was vacapt, when the
class had assembled, he inu,ircd after
his whereabouts. Being a little deaf
he misunderstood the person who an
swered, lie is dead, SIR" and pro.
cecdcd with his customary remarks
Not 4 sufficient excuse, sir: and T
am astonshcd that any student should
render such one in my recitation
room. "--R
Yes, that's the very vas With you''
sobs the despairiny wife s:whcn VIC
were first married, you used to saw
' ,'''c 'o"'' toolsy'S up to
ln'no and keep them warmv; now.
it's Ec;hing but ''t,ke uu:.l Mcu.
-ac0ldhoys Of yourM !"
Gentlemen and ladies' said the
Snowman, here you have n macnif.
cent painting Of Daniel in the Ions
den. Daniel can easily be distinguish.
cd rom the lions by the green cotton
umbrella under his arm
In The New York independent We
md the following from 4 mother
But did tell you what a time I
ha'i with my little Joe -
No; what WAS it!'
Why, WAS showing him the nic.
turc "l the martys thrown to the lions.
ani was talking very solcmnly to him.
y'ng to make !in, feel what ;. terra.
bic thing it wns. Ma sail he .liat
once. Oh ma, inst look ..s<,h4. ;:aor
I ~ lion wAy oc!'nd there, ne WORT
y: any
\ waE. on rcGung that s-2tn en-.
sH7e'iiciit dey a.l:tWO kfigiDass wcro
N''i"d' remarked that that was k;lli;;.
.'nle with a vengeance.
y merchant in This city suddcnly
entering his counting house the other
!ar, found ono of his clerks rcarinr =
large book in the air, with the end
resting upon his chin.
Why ain,t voa at work John = he
inquired. :" :.m sir,'' replied tho
e'crk-4"n arc c.--as what york p?
" Balancing !he Ledger, si,,' :"
adolescence, art thou not cn,leav.
"rlng to en,icc the linny tribe to en.
gu!ph into their icn,culatcd mouths =
"ayhe,i E.o.;, nr"n whose point, is
aiilyrl dainty aIinrcmcnt - 'No,'
Sa'd the boy, am fishing
\ writer in III i,i>h newspaper, If,
ter mentioning tho wreck Of :. .vesscs
near @'5rs'ios, rciniccd that all Tie
crew we're saved, except t,ur hogs.
heads ul M"lasscs.
\ country editor. in speaking Of, a
Stca'nhoat says, "Shc hal twelve
nMRrIs in her ladies' cabin "Ok,
life OF IN" (eXclaimcd III. ull lady. on
reading the abovc) what Il sqna!Iny
there must have been ;"
".l dreadful little ior shiIIinI.n
sad Il prnnrious fellow to a physician.
who deal, ont an cmctic: can't you
give morc?'
"Mo'hsr, can't 90 ana have my
dagnerrcotypc taken -
"No, guess it isn't worth WHILE
We'll, then you might let me .hav.
tooth pnl'cl; never 60 anywhere
y gentleman asked little boy il,
London, "What occupation does your
father pursue for a living?" He an.
swered with great simplicity, C. IL. Is.
a dreadful accident maker, sir, for tho
newspapers p
" We'll, Toby" said his honor to an
old negro who had been hauled up for
stealing a pnlet what have you to
say for yonrself?" Noilin bnt dis
Boss: was as crazy as bed bu.
when "t"le dat ar pulIct: cos mite
hab stole dc biz rooster an ncber ono
it. Dat shows 'c!usivcIy dat was
'ahoring under dc delirium hcmcn-
1ouSr -
Nv hy !" yoa set your cup of coHee
on the chair, Mr.. Jones r. said c wo-.
thy landlady one morning ut break.
fast.
1T is 40 very weak, ma'am." replied
Mr.. }. dcmurcly, q thought would
let il rest"
\ DlFrERENcE.--A fellow walking,
through the Old BaiIy at the timo OF
execution, when an lrishman was OH
the point of hsins oi, inhunanly
bawlrd OUT re vcit YI,arc1 LaIvay.