davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

FATAL CAsE.-Polly Smith was ter.
rible plain woman. She would have
borne off the jack knife from all com.
petitors, and given them the odds OF fifty
start in the race. She was endlessly
complaining of her ailments, 10 the no
small annoyance of such listeners IS she
chanced to hold. and no one was more
annoyed than old DR.. Bolus. comical
fellow Of her neighborhood. Meeting
Mrs. Smith one morning, he ventured to
salute her with The usual compliments OF
the morning, and the accustomed 'how
dye do
why doctor, I feel putty mizsble,
thank'ee. My old complaints is troub-
ling me- There never was creture suf.
fered more than d. Pains and aches,
all the time =
But interrupted the doctor, growing
impatient. 'You don. look very sick
sNo,' replied she, 'Iknow | don't, bu,
I feel great deal worse than look.'
Bless me = cried the doctor, throwing
up his hands, 'then you had better hasten
home, for you can't live an hour!
Mrs. Smith had the good sense to know
what he meant, and never made any more
complaints to him.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04
MistfIlauenus.
THE GAMBLERS LAST STAKE,

In an inner room of his counting. house
which occupied wing of his splendid
mansion in the Gala Alcala. sat Don lose
Solano, one Of the richest bankers in Mad.
rid, ruminatng with much self compla.
cency upon the profitable results of a rs.
cen speculation. He was interrupted in
his medita,ions by the entrance of one of
his clerks usheriDg in a stranger, who
brought a letter of introduction from a
banker at Mexico, with whom Don Jose
had had occasional transactions. The
letter stated that the bearer, the Conde de
Vallela, was of highly respected family
of Mexican nobility, thot he was desir.
,ous of visiting Europe, and more especi.
ally the country Of his ancestors, Spain;
and It then went on 10 recommend him in
the strongest terms 10 the Madrid banker,
as one whose intimacy and friendship
could not fail 10 be sought utter by all who
became acquainted with his many excel.
lent and agreeable qualities.
The appearance of the count seemed to
Justify, as far as appearance can do, the
high terms in which he was spoken Of in
in this letter. He was about eish, and
twenty years of age, dark complexion
with a high, clear forehead, >hor, crisp
curing hair, an in,elligen. and rexula,
coun'enance, and a smile of sinuula,
beauty and fascination. His ewes wert
the oaly feature which could be pronounc
ed otherwise than extremely pleasing
although large, black, and lustrous, they
had a certain 6xity and hardness q,
expression that produced an unple asan.
impression upon the beholder. and would,
perhaps, have been moro disagreeable,
had not the mellow tones Of the count's
voice. and his suavity and polish Of man.
ner, served IN great measure to cnsn.
sefact the stfso. ofthis pseu! iariiy.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04


How TO GET FEATHER BED.-The
following extract is from Lovers Handy
Andy
in carrying off the small thing of a
feather bed, Jack Take, the bold burglar,
showed the skill of a high practitioner,
for he descended the stairs backwards
Backwards 2 exclaimed Larry Hogan,
'what was that for?'
'You II see by and BY said Croggins.
lie descended backwards, " hen sudden.
ly he heard the door open and female
voice exclaiming:
'Where are you going with that bed 2
i am goirg up stairs with it, ma'am,
said Jack, whose backward position ia
vored his lie, and he began to walk up
again.
Come down. said the lady, we want nc
bed here, man.
Mr.. Sullivan ma'am sent me home with
il, HIMSELF said Jack
Come down, l tell you,' said the lady
in rage, .lhere's no Mr.. Sullivan here.
Il beg your pardon, my lady, replied
Jack. Then turning round and marching
off fair and easy.
Well, there was regular shiloo in the
house when the thing was found out. ant
cart ropes wouldn't held the lady for the
rage she was in.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04
P 0 b 7 R Y
S L e e p
BY THOMAS HOOD.

Oh bed oh bedl delicious bed!
That heaven upon Garth to the weary head,
But a place that to name would oeill-bred,
To the head with wakeful trouble
IT'S held with such different lease!
To one place of comfort and peace,
And stuffed with the down of stubble geese
To another, with only the stubble.
To one, perfect Halcyon nest,
All calm. and balm, and quiet, and rest,
And soft as the fur of the cony-
To another, so restless for body and head,
That the bed seems borrowed from Nettlebed
And the pillow from Stratford the Stony!
To the happy, frst-class carriage Of ease,
To the Land of Nod, or where you please;
But alas! for the watchers and weepers,
Who turn, and turn, and turn again,
But turn, and turn, and turn in vain,
With an anxious brain,
And thoughts in train,
That does not run upon sleepcrs.
Wide awake as the mousing owl,
Night-hawk or other nocturnal fowl
But more prodtless vigils keeping
Wide awake in the dark they stare,
Filling with phantoms the vacant air,
As if that crook-backed tyrant Care
Had plotted to kill them sleeping.
And oh when the blessed diurnal light
Is quenched by the providential night,
To render our slumber more certain,
Pity, pity the wretches that weep,
For they must be wretched who cannot sleep
When Nature herself draws the curtain!
The careful Betty the pillow beats,
And airs the blankets and smooths the sheets,
And gives the mattrass shaking
But vainly Betty performs her part,
If ruffled head and rumpled heart,
AS well as the couch want making.
There's Morbid, all bile, verjuice and nerves,
Where other people would make preserves,
He turns his fruit into pickles;
Jealous, envious and fretful by day,
At night to his own sharp fancies a prey,
He lies like ahedge-hog roll'd up the wrong
way,
Tormenting himself with his prickles.
Buta child that bids the world goodnight
In downright earnest and cuts it quite
A Cherub no art can copy
'Tis parfect picture to see him lie,
As if he had supped on dormouse pie,
An ancient classical dish by-the-bye,)
With sauce of syrup of poppy.
Oh bed! bed bed delicious bed!
That heaven upon earth to the weary head
Whether lofty or low its condition!
Butinstead ofputting our plaques on shelves
In our blankets how often we toss ourselves
Or are tossed by such allegorical elves
AS Pride, Hate, Greed and Ambition!
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

They punish people quesrly in China.
For robbing pedler, the culpri, was put
in mortar, and fired against stone wall.
Whether this cured him Of his propensi-
ties, we have not yet learned. We should
not wonder, however, if it did. a. ",
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

An adopted citizens wrote home that 10
was employed by the State. On coming
over they found it justss hs had stated.
He was up ., Sing Sing serving out =
sentence for life" s.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

There is man living in Livingston, N.
Y, by The name of Atherton, who in ono
week in January last, thrashed four hun
dred bushels Of wheat, three constab!es
and seven deputy sheriffs. Where's tho
medal. .a
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04
TO A LADY WEEPING.
BY JOHN O. SAKE.

Nay, do not weep-e.enfrom my bOyhood's years
always loved pretty womsn's eye,
But like my toast, much prefer IL dry.
And not like concert benches, all in tisrsi
A handsome woman don't look very bad b,
unless she yawns) when she is calmly sleep
ing:
But o ye gods! to see q lady weeping
Is quite enough to drive lover mad!
Signs are delicious; and love them best
When-breathed beneath the trysting tree 10
prove ..t
The sacred fervor Of youthful love-
They gently heave gentle maiden's breast
But when, with streaming tears, woman cries,
feel like saying-"Dearest dam your eyesl"
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

SIaNlNrcANr,-A Connecticut minis
ter walking through village church.yard
and observing the indiscriminate praises
beste wed upon the dead, wroe upon tho
gate.post, the following line: m
"Here lie the dead, and here the living IIs."
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

THE man that said he drank brandy for
the exhilaration that it gave him, was found
at ten o'clock in the gutter, by no means
exhilarated. Shouldn't wonder' gssss &
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

NEVER chew your words. Open ths
mouth and let the voice come out. "a
student once asked--ss Can viYchus. fosti-,
chude, gratichuds or quiechuds dwell with
the man who is total stranger VI Ssesis
chude r Il ags@ tia W
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

A celebrated topper. intending to 60 to
masked ball. consulted an acquaintance
to what character he should disguise him.
self in. ....... ...... .......
go SOBER replied his friend, 'and your
most intimate friend will not know you
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

HAVE you fish in your basket 2 asked
a person Of fisherman who was return
ing home. Yes, good eel" was Tho
rather slippery reply. at
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

When you see doctor stop at house, the
presumption is that somebody is sick, and win
be worse; If two doctors, the patient Is worse.
and in danger; If three, there 10 little chance
that Lscan sssover. = nsdioa,kzits1st;c three
doctors ass saua. to eas undertaken.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

First class in mathematics stand rp..-
What is simple division
'Pleathe, sir. know. Breaking Bob
Smiths cake, and eating half yourself
'Rigtt! WHAT'S compound divisionr
Hooking the whole Of Bob Smiths
cake, and dividing it between Yourself and
BROTHER
Right again. Now 60 out of doors
and put your head against something cold
to keep your nose from bleeding
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

Girls always look pleased whom n6l.
rimony, new 6onnsts and sleigh ridss ~
being talked about. and why shouldnt
they They undsrs and those subjects
thoroughly. Wei! they do.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

Aprinterin setting up the line
He'll has no fury like woman scorned.
by some oversight left out the 8, and made It
read
He'll has no fury like woman corned.'
A slight departure from the text, but none
whatever from the truth.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

One of the best double puns we have ever
heard, says the Yankee Blade, was perpetrated
bya clergyman. He had just united in marriage
q couple whose Christian names were respectiye-
ly Benjamin and Ann. How did they appear
during the ceremony inquired friend.
'They appeared both annie-mated and bennie-
fitted was the ready reply. at
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

DO you know Mr.. John Brown%
Yes my dear Is he not a very deserving
young man?
Yes he deserves fogging, and if ever he gal
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

Meeting negro on the road, witha
Grape on his hat, u traveller said
'You have lost some Of your friends /
see.''
yes, Massa."
WAS it near or distant relative 2
We'll, purity distant-'bout twenty four
miIe,' was the reply.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

The BARRlsTER MATcHED.-At a lat
quarter session, man was brought up by
a farmer, and accused of stealing sons
ducks. The farmer said he should know
them anywhere, and went on TO describe
their peculiarity.
Why says the counsel, for the pris.
oner-'they can't be such rare breed-I
have some like them in my yard
That's very likely, sir, said the farmer.
they are not the only ducks have had
stolen lately
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-02-04

ment around sprinkled with his blood
Refael and some others hurried down
but. before they reached the street, Count
Luis Valleja had expired, The gamblers
last stake had been his life.
v hen young Solano reached his faith.
er's- house, and repaired to the counts
apartment, opened the desk of which Val.
leja had given him the key, he found that
it contained neither notes nor anything
else Of value. but merely few worthless
papers. As,ounded at this, and in spite
of his prepossession in favor Of the count,
feeling his suspicious little aroused by
what he could hardly consider an over.
sight, he hurried back 10 the monte-rooms
where his arrival served as signal for
the catastrophe that has been related.
The same evening, the amount lost was
paid by Rafael Solano into the hands Of
the winners. The following day the body
of the count was privately inferred.
After the lapse of few weeks, there
came letter from Mexico, in reply to the
one which Don Jose Solano had written
to announce the arrival ofValleja His
Mexican correspondent wrote in all haste,
anxious, if still possible, to preserve Don
Jose from becoming the dupe of swind-
Ter. The conde de Valleja, he said, was
the last and unworthy scion Of noble
and once respected family. From his
early youth he had made himself re-.
markable, as well for the vices of his
character, as for the skill with which he
concealed them under mask Of agreea.
BILE accomplishments and fascinating man.
ners. His father, dying shortly after he
became of age, had left him the uncon-
trolled master of his fortune, which he
speedily squandered; and when it was
gone. he lived for some time by the exer.
else of his wits, and by preying on all
who were sufficiently credulous to con6de
in him. At length, having exhausted ev-
cry resource--when no man of honor
would speak to him, and no usurer lend
him maravedi at any rate Of interest
he had, by an unworthy artifce, duped
the very last person who took any interes,
in him, out of a few hundred dollars, and
taken ship at Vera Cruz for Europe.
1t is scarcely necessary to add that the
letter of credit was forgery.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-06-24
? D i I L I.
THE BRIGHT LITTLE GIRL,
SONG TO AN OLD IRISH AIR.


Her blue eyes they am and twinkle,
Her lips have made smiling more fair,
On cheek and on brow there's no wrinkle,
But thousands of curls in her hair.
She's little-you don't wish her taller;
Just half through the teens is her age;
And lady, or baby, to call her,
Were something to puzzle sage.
Her walk is far better than dancing,
She speaks as another might sing;
And all by an innocent CHANGING,
Like lambkins and birds in the spring.
Unskilrd in the airs of the city,
She's perfect in natural grace;
She's gentle, and truthful, and witty,
And nc'r spends thought on her face.
Her face with the fine glow that's in it,
As fresh as an apple tree bloom;
And 0! when she comes, in minute,
Like sunbeams she brightens the room.
As taking in mind rs in feature,
How many will sigh for her sake!
wonder, the sweet little creature,
What sort of wife she would make!
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-06-24
April s, 1854
AN AlnH

AN Hl
To amend n act entitled an act to fix and pro-
vide for tue terms of the district Court in the
several counties Of the First Circuit, being
composed of the scdond and third ommon
PLEAS Districts Of Ohio, and to legalizc the
acts Of the last District Court held in Mont
gomcry County.
SEC /. BE 1t enacted By The General Iasem5y
nfHs State oSOh&o:
That Sec. lsl of an act entitled an act
to fix and provide for the term of the
District Court in the several counties
Of the Is, Circuit, being composed Of tho
second aod third Common Pleas District
of Ohio. passed February 10, A. D. 1853,
be 50 amended as to re ID, Sec. l. That
tie ierms of the District Court shall be
held in the several counties OF the second
and third Common Pleas District Of Ohio,
as fellows:
Second Common Pleas District
In the county of Butler on the 9th day
of May.
In the county of Preble on the l9lh
day Of May
In the county of Drake Oh the 25th
day Of May. .....
In the county Of Miami on the 3osh
day of May.
In the county of Montgomery on the
9Th day Of June.
In the county of Champagne on the
20'h day of June.
In the county of Clark on the 23d day
Of June: .....
In the coun y of Warren on 9th day
of June. .....
In the county Of Clinton on the 9Th
day Of July. ..
! In the county of Greene on the llll1
day of July.
Sec. 2. That the acts and proceeding;
of the District Court held in Dayton
Montgomery county, on the 9th Of June
7 A. d. 1858. be and the same are hereby
declared valid, and in full force and au
ihority Of law.
Sec. 3. That Sec. lst Of an act entitled
an act 'to fix and provide for the terms o
the District Courts in the several countie
of the First Circuit; being composed o
the second and third Common Pleas Dis
,ric,s of Ohio, be and the same is hereb,
repealed.
FC. LEBLOND,
Sneaker of the House of Representatives
l . ROBT. LEE,
President of the Senate, pro TEN.
May lst, 1854
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-06-24
LAWS Of Ohio.
PUBLISHED BY AUTHORITY.
AN ACT

supplementary to an act entitled San act to
amend tn act to provide for The organization
Of Cities and Incorporated Villages" passed
March IL, 1853.
Sc. | BE ~ enacted By the General assembly
IF The Stateof Ohio.
That from and after The passage OF this
act, it shall be lawful for the city eoun-
Gil of any city in which Gas Company
has been, or may be hereafter esta abIIshed,
to fix from time TO time, by ordinance,
the minimum price al which such coun-
cil shall require such company 10 furnish
gas 10 the citizens or public buildings Of
such city, .r for the purpose of Lighting
the streets, alleys, and public grounds
thereof, for any period not exceeding ten
years and from and after the assent of
said company, to such ordinance, by a
written acceptance thereof, filed in the
clerks office of such city, it shall not be
lawful for said city council to require the
said company TO furnish gas to the citi.
zens, public buildings, public grounds. or
public lamps Of such city, a, a less price
during the period of time agreed on, no,
exceeding ten years, as aforesaid Pro-
vided, that this act shall not operate to i'm
pair or affect any contract heretofore made
between any city and any Gas Light, or
Gas Light and Coke Company.
SEC. 2. That the city council of such
city may, at any time after the default
mentioned in the thirty first section ofthe
act to which this is supplementary, by or
dinance, permit such gas company to use
and occupy the streets of such city for the
purpose of lighting the same, and furnish
ing gas to the citizens and public buildings.
SEC. 3, That any temporary failure
to furnish gas shall not operate as for
feiture, under the ,hirly-s, cond section o
! the act to which this is supp'eme n'ary
unless such failure shall he by the lee
or misconduct of such Gas Light or Ga
! Light and Coke Company; Provided
that such company shall, without nnneces
sary delay, repair the injury. and continue
to supply such gas.
&c. LEBLOND,
Speaker of the House of Representatives
JAS. MYERS,
President Of the Senate
April 5, 1854.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-06-24
agrirultural.
CLASSIFICATION OF SOILS.

The want of some sysi-m Of classify
ing soils has long been fsl'. The arbi-
trary terms in common use convey no
definite idea of the subject. A writer in
the Farmefs Magazine recommends
classification based on analysis. We
arc not prepared 10 say that this mode is
At present practicable, but il is at least
worthy Of at ention. His plan is as fol-
lows: ..
l. Siliceous soils, containing from 90
to 95 per cent. of sand. These would be
divided on the same principle. into blows
ing sand, coarse sand, good agricultural
sand, and calcarcous sand.
9. Loamy soils, 20 TO 80 per cent. of
sard, seperable by washing, subdivided
into coarse sandy loan, fine ssndy loan,
clay and calc0reous loan.
8. Clayey Soils, with 10 to 70 per
cent. Of sand divided into clay loan,
clay and caDcareOus clay.
Each of these soils, termed calcareous
sand, calcareous loan, &C., contains 5
per cent. Of lime.
Marley soils constitute fourth group,
in which the proportion Of lime ranges
between five and twenty per cent, and
are divided into sandy marls, oamy
mars, and clayey marls
Calcareous soils contain more than 90
per cent, Of lime. They are divided into
sandy calcareouS, loamy calcareous, an
clayey calcareous. While in calcarous
sends, clay and loans, the proportion OF
lonm does not exceed 5 per cent. The
difference of composition denoted by diff
ference of name is similar to the sui ph-
afes and sulphiteS of chemical nomen~
claurc which contain different proper
tions Of sulphuric acid.
According to the quantity Of pcbbly
fragments yielded by square yard. or by
a cubic foot of the soil, they may be de-
nominated gravels or gravelly sans,
loans, and clays.
i Vegetable soils vary from the common
garden m ould, which contains from 3 c
10 per cent. of vegetable mater. to The
pecty Soil, in which The organic matter /,
about 60 to 70 per cent. They viii be
vegetable sands, loans, clrys. mars, DC
Considered seoIogjcally, soils may be
/ classed in III ec groups:
l. Local soils. or those derived eXciu
Sively from the debris Of the rock 81
which they rest unmiXcd with material:
r Of other rock.
.. Erratic soils containing the nnmx
: ed materials Of several, ard in many ca
ses distinct formations, transported b,
currents Of water, which. at the close o
; what is called the tastary period Of gcol
ogy, acted iFrcspec,iTe!y of The prcsen
= lines of drainage and sea levels.
! 3. Alluvial soils, composed Of lincI,
= divided matter, transported and deposited
hy rivers and tidal currents, in su5ordiua
lion to the existing levels and lines o
drainage.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-06-24

CRATE VINES. -Prune grapes in No
vembcr, but never in the spring. In sum
mer, as soon os the grapes set, pinch off
all the shoots, three eyes beyond the
irui,. These will sprout again, and must
again be pinched off, three eyes beyond
the junction: Again they will sprout.
Let these young shoots grow, and when
the insects come, they will eat those ten
der twigs and let the rest alone. Never
cut of leaves 10 let the sun in to ripen
the fruit; it will ripen faster with than
without the leaves. In summer, grape
vines stop growing. Feed them with
weak guano water, and Two days after
with weak potash water. This will give
more fruit and better flavor, Grape
vines ara rank feeders so are faspber,
ries and blackberres. The bes. food for
strawberries is taunic Rcid. 1t gives them
rich flavor. All the nuvor Of s,rawber
ries is on The outside.
Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-06-24
AN ACT

to en- act to provide for the Gre.
alton and regulation of Incorporated compa-
MES in the State of Ohio, passed May LIST, lS43
Sec. I. Bet enacted By tile General assembly
Of the State of Ohio,
That majority Of the Directors of
each and every railroad company, organ
ised under the law Of this State, elected
after the passage Of this act, shall be res
idents Of the State Of Ohio.
Sec. 2. That the offices of the presi>
dent, secretary and treasury, Of every
such railroad company, shall be establish
ed and kept at some place on the line of
their respective road, within this State;
and record of all the proceedings of any
such railroad company, shall be kept at
such Office or Offices, and open at all reas.
enable hours for the inspection Of any
stockholdet Of such company.
Sec. 3. That said Directors shall be IL
able 10 the slockholder, in their individual
capacity, for any damages they may sus-
tain, by reason Of the negligence, mis-.
management. or unfaithfulness in the dis
charge of their duties as Directors; Pro.
vided. that any such directors may exon.
crate himself, by entering his protest upon
the record, against any act from which
injury is feared, and forthwith publishing
the same in the ne Uspaper in which are
usually published the notices of dividends
by said company. ,-.....-..
F. C. LEBLOND.
Speaker Of the House Of Representative,
IN ROBERT LEE,
President of the Senate, pro ten,
May l, 1854. ...-