Muscatine journal. [volume] (Bloomington, Iowa) 1849-185?, 1854-02-10

a Frenchman in Boston has invented remedy
for the take which will oRert8 all pain 4th ich.
This beats the Yankees.
LUCY Stone, in one Of her lectures, says that
women arc as we'll fitted as men for every kind of
mercantile employment. 1t is suggested that women
would not make very good Silent partner.
-"swear not at Ill, Abimelecb, swear not at oil. {"
"Thats Just what Idoes. I don't swear at all; l
only cusses the schoomaster.
The last We saw Of Abimelech, he was going over .
garden fence, closey pursued by raw-hids.
What is the difference between an attempted
homicide, and the bu.chering of swine! Hold your
breath for the answer Gao is assault with intent to
kill, and the other ia kill with intent to salt.
DO make yourselves at hsme, ladies'" said .
female to her visitor one day; "I'm at homo myself,
and wish you all were." Her husband with lauda-
BILE desire to correct his wifes mistake, exclaimed,
I'd, not feel offended at what my wife has said, for
am quite sure she always speaks As she thinks"
-sEvEnE-The Boston Post has good hit, On
the strength of that Pous Fraud" lately perperated
in Chicago, as follows:
"Out wost, remarked Aunt Kitty, looking up from
the Newspaper, "they build monuments to persons
who don It stea 81 suppose that to be the reason,
replied Roger. "why there are 50 few monuments in
that country"
"A stump orator wishing to deacrihs his oppo-
nsnt % . soulless man, said:
ell have heard some persons hold to the opinion
that just at the precise moment one human being
another Is BORN and that the soul enters and anmates
the new-bo babe. Now have made particular and
extensive inquiries concerning my opponent there,
and nnd that for time previous to his nativity
nobody died. Fellow-cits,ns. you may draw the in
ference -
-"Morning Relief Train" solilequ.sed Mrs.
Partpgton she sat in of the New Jersey rail-
r,ad cars and gased upou the ticket which she bad
short time previously purchased at the depot-Mcrn-
ing Relief Train-I s'pess that must be the train
which starts every morsng at O'Clock pick up the
poor crcetsrs the track that have been masticated
the night Previous D,ar me, wien will railroad folks
learn to use circumcision and care and the old lady
sighed in bitterness Of spirit.
-Suooks wonders where all the pillow cases 10
to. He says he never asked girl what she was ma.
king, while engaged in white sewing, without being
told it was pillow case.
swsr fool according to his f,lly. Shocks is good
for-nothipg impudent fellow to ask such impernent
questions and the girls were right in "making q
shift" and not answering him correctly.
"A clergyman, who had considerable Of farm.
generally the case in fathers days, went
out to Of his laborers who blowing in th.
feld and found him sitting upon the psw resting biz
team.
"John," said he, "would it not be good plan fsr
you to have stab scythe here, and b hubbing few
bushes while the oxen are resting?"
John, with countsnance which might we'll hsv,
become the clergyman himself, instantly REPLIED
"Wculd 1t it not be we'll, sir, for you to have
swinging board in the Pulpit, and when they IN
singing to swingls little FAIR
The reverend gentleman turned on his heel laughed
heartily, and said no m ore about hubbing.