The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1854-06-08

ucClaTe DIS IOYe, propose an c!OpemenL
and secure his happiness forever.
This is pretty business, said Mrs
Scruggs, as she regained her feet.
Don't fear, dearest exclaimed Sprig.
gins, supposing she alluded to the rather
indelicate position she found herself aftel
her tas he supposed fright. Don't fear
dearest, Ihaye long loved you, and have
only waited this opportunity to throw my.
self at your feet
Mr.. Spriggins, what do you mean :?
demanded the astonished Mrs. Scruggs
by the charms Of Venus, / VOW that ]
have loved you, from the time you first
entered our grocery. You bought a
pound Of tea and a Goldfish, most lovely
Mrs. Scruggs, and remember the event,
as if it had only happened yesterday
Oh Mrs. Scruggs, sleepless have been
my nights since | first saw YOU, and say
ing this, MIR. Sprggins pulled out his hand
kerchief to wipe away the tears.
Language would fail to truthfully de-
pict Mrs. Scrugg's countenance about this
time. Wonder, followed surprise, shame
wonder, indignation shame, and rage in.
dignaton. Herfrst impulse was to strike
the romantic young man, but her temper
cooling little while he was shedding
tears, she contented herself with saying,
Mr. Spriggins, you are a fool
The lover understood by this, that she
was not satisfied with his sincerity, and he
was about falling upon his knees, and
vowing eternal love, when he was star
tied with the inquiry.
'Mr. Spriggins, where is my soap?
The grocer's clerk was amazed. Could
she think he was attempting to soft.soap
her, he thought. Lie was about to reply,
when his lady love, now fairly angered,
exclaimed:
Mr. spriggins, you blockhead, will you
give me my soap?
Mr. spriggins threw up his hands in as
tonishment.
why do you tantalize me thus, you
fool a.? asked the now furious woman
w uClC Is my swap Sh
The clerk was unable TO speak, but
gradually extending his arms, he with his
forefngers pointed to the soap on the
pavement. The beautiful and now fiery
eyes of Mrs, Scruggs followed the direc-
ton of his fingers, and when she beheld
her handsome mug dashed to pieces and
her quart of soft soap scattered to the
four corners of the pavement, her irrita-
ted passion could bear no brooking. She
opened the gate, took off Mr. Spriggins'
cap-a new one of the latest style--laid
it on the pavement, caught one Of his ears
between her thumb and finger, and giving
| it twitch, bade him scoop the soap with
his hands and put it in his cap.
Need we say Mr.. Spriggins obeyed p
Why, he couldn'thelp He was mere
automaton in her hands, and he hardly
knew what he was doing.
The cap filled with the Shiny substance,
Mrs. Scuggs seized it, slammed it on Mr.
Spriggins head, and then giving him a
slap in the face said
Now go to the grocery. you lmpudent
scape- grace, and never dare show your
face to me again
Next day the newspapers contained a
notice of the mysterious disappearance
of Mr.. Spriggins. What became of him
I do not know, but warrant he will nev-
er again make love to married woman
while she iSengagcd in cleaning the house.
Mrs. Scruggs semi-annual passion GER
tainly proved appropriate - occasion
that time and as a mQis Sould say,
without doing injustice k, to the
genter sex--that, of mes, no.
y men should be aro,deS ktic young
men about house ClcaaingT,0le.