Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-09-23

neighhoring city with coIonistS family
He takes every opportunity To have slap
A, Brother Bail. and the colonlSt does all
he can to defend the venerable gentleman,
You are arguing said the cUIonist, "a
gaiusl your an, estors.'
NO I'm not.
WHO was your father
/ a Yankee.
WHO were your foreIatheis ?
/ Yankees.
WHO were Adam and Eve !!
Yankees, by thunder
Bagnum offers i've hundred dollars Tor
the hen that laid wager.
One hundred for the cat that was lie
out of the bag.
Two hundred for the COW that 'cheweG
the cud of sweet and bitter fancy
And three hundred and sixty for the
horse that lives solely upon the wild oats
sowed by fast young men.
| The ladies wear something on the back
Of their heads in the shape Of an inverted
oyster shell, and call the same bonnet
The best cure for dyspepsia is to col
/ lect bills for a newspaper. Ii that don !
give you an appetite you might as well
sell your stomach for tripe and have done
with it.
We learn from an exchange that an edl-
tor, Mr.. llogg, lately led 10 The alter
/ Miss Little. We trust that the little Hogs
resulting from this union will form ht-
ier.ary family, and find the pen profitable.
/ The man who stopped to consider, has
concluded TO start in the next traln-ot
thought.
'OId dad. will your peaches keep over
Sunday ? Yes my son they will Well
Keep them, then
Some witty urchin, on Main street near
the exchange, this afternoon, fastened
label to a cart horse, worded-
'Oats wanled-inquire within
10 compliment vice is but one remove
from worshipping the devil.
When the fox turns preacher, beware
of your geese.
Never trust a married man who loves
! his wife, with a secret, for he'll tell her,
and she will tell her sister, and her sister
VIII tell any body and everybody.
The man who attempted TO run up a
bill, fell into debt so deeply that he
found il impossible TO eXtricate himself.
If exercise promotes health, those who
collect old bills for editors should be a
mong the longest lived people on earth.
Waiter, I'll take my hat said a gentle
man, at party one evening as he was a
bout going home.
what kind of hat did you wear ?
y bran new hat, that paid ten dollars
lOr this morning
We'll sir, said the waiter all lhc good
hats have been gone more than two hours.
No proof Of temperance-a man with
his hat of at midnight, explaining 10
lamp.
Mankind may be divided into classes
those who cheat and those who can'l.
An old lady, in Cincinnati, who sells
eggs has over her door. 'New laid eggs
every morning, by Betty Briggs
Virtues are lost in sellinteresl,as rivers
are lost in the sea.
Why does an aching tooth impose si-
lence on the sufferer! Because II makes
him hold his jaw.
Bob said wag the other day TO ilt-
tie urchn walking the street, does your
mother know your OUT Yes was the
pertinent reply, 'and she gave me slS-
pence to buy monkey wlh-are you tor
sale
woman's heart is ike fiddle. IL
requires teau 70 play upon It.
The young man who caught a Iady's
eye hes oren requested to return II.
Dark Deeds.-A negro Oh dark night
iu a dark alley, looking down a dark hole
afer black cat.
"A Question for tho spike society, would
the devil Dcat his wife if he lad one ?
Guess nol-ior The women generally
beat ihe devii
Never gldicuIc what you aaEnoI nndeB- .
stand
There Is a man down east 20 tall that
he IS obliged To Ct upon ladder 10 PIT
lHs hat on and when he goes to bed, he
Is obliged 10 slrl up his legs Ike PAIR Of
penau.le blades.
Trying To the fcclings-io lie a pretty
gih's bonnet, wilhou! tasting ber lips.
A fellow out Of heall wen, To Saratoga
to pick up LILLE, and picked up enough
To send hpD 10 the Stale Prison for three
years, IhsI Is recruiting with a Vengeance.