Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1854-08-17

- AoAAAAo Or rHASHIOh.-1I an lnnaOi
tant OF the moon, or q traveller from
another system, could visit the earth, h,
would hnd some difficulty in believing
that the people whom he met in differen
continents were beings of a common
race. He would see, in one country
the men wearing tails, and in another
the women wearing trowsers, in one
the men sporting turbans, and in an
other the women figuring in caps. HI
would see the beard cut off by one ma
ton, and religiously preserved by an
other, the hair cropped close in North
ern Europe, but suffered to grow long
in Southern. He would see the Nortf
American Indian, sunk in savagery
daubing himself with ochre, and the
civilized duchess, proud of her heredi.
tary refinement, painting herself with
rouge. He would see an Empress wear
ing yard or two of useless gilt at the
tail of her gown; grave Judges burying
their heads in horse-hair wigs, till they
looked like puppies solemnly caricatured;
soldiers with bear-skin caps big enough
to hold their proYender for a fortnight;
and thousand other ridiculous varieties
of costume, travestying the human ami
NAL, and making it look like cross be-
tween a monkey and a parrot, or, at
least, like anything but what it was.
In China he would see mothers band
aging the feet of their female children,
to make them little. In New Zealand
he would observe men tatooing their
faces. In the Orient he would discover
ladies dying their nails black. He
would see the Esquimaux with bits of
bone stuffed through hole in each
cheek; the Flat Head Indian, with his
forehead compressed till it look like that
of an idiot; and the African negro, with
his bushy hair full of butter, and stuck
out on every side, so that it resembled
huge mop. He would find the ladies
in Constantinople mullled up to the eyes,
and in Paris wearing dresses beginning
too late,' as Talleyrand wittily said,
and ending too early In one country
he would learn that fatness was con-
sidered female charm; and in another,
an unnaturally pinched waist; here beau
ty would consist in fragility, there in its
opposite; in one latitude dark hair
would carry the day, and in another
flaxen tresses. On the promenade of
Madrid, he would see the ankles coquet-
tishly displayed; in Chestnut street they
would be shut from sight by the ampli-
tude of skirt that swept the pavement.
In Persia, he would meet the magnifi-
Gently dressed Mahometan; in London
he would see thing in round hat and
tight trowsers calling itself man.
He would find the customs OF various
nations as diverse as their dress; and
we may add as much opposed to the
standard of nature and common sense.
In the countries pretending to be the
most cultivated, among the very classes
enjoying the highest degree of educa-
ton, he would discover the majority of
the people going to bed at daybreak,
rising at noon, taking what they call
morning rides towards evening, and
dining after sunset He would learn
that in the wealthiest society of New
York, weddings were celebrated by gas
light, on bright, sunshiny morning
He would see some Americans making
themselves temporarily crazy with a
drink, the taste of which they professed
to dislike, and others, quite as refined,
chewing continually on dirty weed,
which. they would tell him, had made
them SICK the first time they used it.
He would meet lady, one evening, and
be privileged to take her in his arms,
and spin around with her, before room
full of people, till she fairly sank on his
bosom; but, if he attempted to press
even her hand too warmly, the morning
after, he would be struck from the list
of her acquaintance, for having, as sae
would say, insulted her.
It's instructive, occasionally, to think
of these anomalies. The absurdity of
whether in dress or in social
customs, never seems so plain as when
we thus contrast one vagary with an
other, and all such common sense
We then realize what fools too many of
is are. For we sacrifice peace, money
and health, it then convincingly appears,
,or what is Of no more worth than
;hild's bauble.-PhiladeLphia Ledger.