New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1854-10-03

Loue dveier ,mid the hills with gaze austere
Thou lookest down, methinks on all below thee here
And curious travellers have deserted the trace Is 80,
OF the sage Franklin's physiognomy
In that most grave and philosophic' face. Il
II it be true Old Man that we do see 544 l5zs,
Sage Franklin's countenanee, thou indeed must be
learned philosopher most wise and said, ls giIi
From all that thou hast had chance to see,
Since earth began Here thou. too. oft has played
With lightnings, glancng round thy rugged head
3sss Hs8i5@4 From the Memphis Appeal
julius Caesar Grindstones Twenty-fith EpistIe to
Miss Jerusha Pumpernicle,
or Dog Ftnhst Bottom Pumpkin Landing nea Toad Lere
in The neighbo,hood Of Nub6in Ridse, .4sk rs SE
'4 CENTRAL HOUSE, Sept. 20, 1854
Dear Jer,tssa: Since writing about the cor
poration appointments, sum cordage fellers from
New York sent down to get she Navy Yard, and
the Mare told the City Marshal as how be
wanted him to 60 down and have the houses
scrubbed, engines greezed, spinin fixtures dust
ed chimneys taken in out of the weather,
yards swept, and tell the buying fellers q real
horse swappin tale. So old uncle Jimmy put
on a billed shirt, had the rinkles ironed out Of
his hat round at Conant's, put on his sundy
boots, baut regalia and walked down and done
what the Mare told him, and when the tradin
fellers cum down he axt old uncle Jimmy if the
yard was much pnnkins or not. Old uncle
Jimmy he hung one leg over the fence, rested
his elbo on his ne, stood on tother Leg brot a
long puff, took out his cigar a la naoad, as Joe
sez, and lookt the feller right in his face and
told i'm that Navy Yard was jest ahead Of any
| thing in the world, and couldent be beat. He
said it was bigger, longer, wider az and better
bilt than any thing in the United States. He
sed anything in the world that ever had been
invented could be manufactured thar, from
hens teeth to chrystai palaces, that it could be
used for anything from holdin mouseowlery,
| kangaroo and corporation courts to Congress
itself, that everybody and his wife had been
thar to see it, that it was as popular abroad as
lit was at home, and wouldent REQUIRE any
newspaper putin to put it agoing
Il The feller shook his head sorter like an old
hoss snapper, and sed that would do for the
marines, that no gas light was necessary to illu
inmate its beauty that it was poor trick. Olc
uncle Jimmy took another puff and pulled his
/, leg from over the fence, and told i'm that wat
against the laws and dignity of the corporation
and if he sed it agin he'd kick him into the mid
die of next week The feller sorter slept back
and old Uncle Jimmy follered and kept shakir
his fist at the feller and a tellin him that j
wernt as poor trick as the North, where th,
country was SO poor that the COWS had to leaI
lup agin the barns to low, and the turkeys hat
. to be propt up to gobble, where it tuck . OLE
i SOW and litter of pigs to make one shadow
BY this time old uncle Jimmy was in weaving
way, and his arms was swingin like the lever
of a sassage machine. his face as red as a COB
bler's snout, eyes fashin fire, and mouth
foamin The feller kept backin and uncl
Jimmy q talkin. Sez uncle Jimmy, you poo
Northern skunk, you half starved cuss, yo
y sneakin. slip-shod schoolerite, you slab.side
nuggins, you nigger thief, You Northern swim
,e dler, you messenger from little menfste dog
\ and popcorn, you high heeled, square toed, Ian
I, bodied, swell headed, wormy, dirt eatin fly u
y the creek, you strayin suckin from whar nuthi
but asses ears grow in the public hedge, you'
!. robbed us Of our birth right, you've stole OF
lniggers, you've eat our dirt, made maccarol
Il. out of our worms, you've robbed our hen mes
q an chicken roosts, you've trampled on our right
imposed upon our men, insulted our WINNIE
II II and defled our common country
he The feller kept backin and backin till he fe
"a. over barrel and tore his breeches, and old III
m. Gle Jimmy kikt the barrel all to pieces over il
n and he hallered murder, and uncle Jimmy pic
up stave and was a goin to paddle i'm goo
but he jumpt up, and springing over the wa
two chicken Wagons, pair OF oxen, r
through pair of cotton scales and run throu
the alleys and round the corners and hid in
empty shooger hogs he'd, and old uncle Jiml
would a cort him but he was SO mad he run al
the Exchange Building and knockt hisself i
fit. The tradn Teller come out of his hi
Y place and was CROWN round and the M
/. piokt up the corporation frying pan and noe
NV hole thru the bottom of it with the fellers
Ni and it took blacksmith half an hour to
ooo the frying pan round from his neck. Jut
nj. , Hill he gin him pass and had him rolled dc
to Cincinnati boat in wheelbarrow. Ga
At Causey he kickt him aboard, and he left, vi
mage out even saying good bye. When old VI
IJimmy cum too and the Mare was cooled
mt. and Capt. Causey cum back from the river,
- wasn't thareselves and ordered out the corpe
md tion guns to execute the dog law, and Menu
is as hot on the dog law as all of the hot p
%. reduced to half pint The Wimmin are
mad too, and the places whar tha used to ca
N, on their huppy chupsy baby doins are now b
=, with wrath, sharp toed CATERS and long I'll
emit nails.
;ep on And now Jerusha, i want to tell you to b
. your guard agin all snuff to at in fellers ant
~ / them superhumeraries and inhamatories
~ we've got use for every noble gal in the ]
that can read, think, work, and be sonnet
by nature. Our band box, snuff dippin,
eet baby stock is goin down and am for a new
more genuine stock, of pure Southern m
81 as aunt Polly sez. Kiss yoar marm's baby
rusha Yours, ..zs -
0 JULIUS CESAR GR1NDsToe
yss. -. t=========- ======- V.
ELEGANT REPaooR. Kelly, oelebr
in the last age for his love of music, was
only witty in himself, but the cause OF '
others" Mr.. b, Scotch adsocai
man of considerable humor, accompanied
$. great formality of manners, happened to b
Of a convivial party, when his lordship. "
,vssa the head Of the table; after dinner, he
asked to sing, but absolutely refused to co
with the pressing solicitation Of the comp
= at length Lord & told him he shoul
escape; he must either sing q song, tell ]
s.. or drink a pint bumper Mr., B.,
~ nm abstemions man, chose rather to tell a
than incur the forfeit. !" One day said
- Ibis pompous manner, "a thief in the cou
co: his rounds, saw the door of q church invi
= open he walked in. thinking that even tn
z5a might lay hold Of something useful hayi
cured the pulpit t-cloth, he was retreating,
Ill he found the doar shut After some q