The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1854-06-08

Unable. Mrs. Spriggins sounded angelic
. it fitted her so charmingly!
One bright morning in April last, Mr..
Spriggins arose early. lie had dreamed
during the night that Mrs. Scruggs was q
iairy-!hat she came TO him, whispered
soft words of love in his ear, and then
escorted him through the air TO an en-
chanted ground where myrads OF heaven.
ly beings greeted him as the choice of
their mistress. The reality, when he
awoke, was TOO much for his week nerves.
He jumped out oil bed, dressed himself
in hurry, opened the grocery, and then
sat himself down to ruminate. He had
Just brought his mind TO the conclusion
that the dream was the precursor Of some
great event in the lives of Mrs. Scruggs
and Mr.. Spriggins, when his attention
was aroused by the following call;
'Mr. Spriggins oh, Mr.. Spriggns are
you asleep that you cant hear?'
Itwas the voice of Mr. Scruggs. How
his heart beat, as he cast his eye across
the street and saw she was actually ad-
dressing him. He stood transfixed. His
fairy was singularly dressed that morn
ing. She had on an old dress he had new
er seen before, her sleeves were rolled up
clear to her shoulders, exposing two
plump and lovely arms, while asort Of tidy
was fixed upon her head,
Can't you answer me 2 she cried i'm
petuously, to the young man. I've been
calling you this quarter Of an hour
Come here, if you please
Mr.. Sprggins flew, for the dream was
still in his mind. He noticed frown up
on her brow, and he was about to ask her
if Mr. Scruggs had died suddenly in the
night, when she interposed with
why Mr.. Spriggins, how stupid you
are this morning. You are enough to
worry any ladie S patience. Mr.. Scruggs
left home very early this morning, and
left me alone Mr.. Spriggins heart beat
quickly. 'Will you bring me quart of
soft soap? she asked, as she handed him
a pitcher 4 have terrible job before
me. l commence cleaning house to-day,
and not a soul to help me-
Mr.. Spriggins seized the pitcher, and
bounded to the grocery for the soft soap.
'Scruggs gone away-alone-nobody
to help-she wants my aid-she shall
have it-adorable-bare arms said Mr..
Spriggins, as be poured the soap into the
pitcher. He hurried back with the inten-
ton of offering his services to Mrs Scruggs
for the day, but as he approached her, he
was so startled with scream from the
lady, that he let the pitcher fall, and it
broke into an hundred pieces.
Mercy mercy was the cry which
had alarmed him; that hog has upset the
lime tub. Hish shew get out of the
yard, you ugly beast cried Mrs. Scruggs,
as she threw billet of wood gal fash
ion at the intrusive hog. There S all my
whitewash split, and gone to nothing
Dear, dear me must my troubles COM
mence this early. wish there was no
such thing as cleaning house, for its trou-
Bile, trouble, trouble, from the beginning
to the end.'
Shall | drive outthe hog, Mrs. Scruggs?'
tremblingly asked spriggins.
You are pretty fool to ask me that
question, aint you? said Mrs. Scruggs.
go drive the hog away
No mortal never chased helpless beast
with more earnestness than Mr.. Spri riggins
did that hog, and probably with less sue
cess. The hog was one of the impudent
kind-one of those which opens gates
with impunity, runs between pedestrians
legs if it suits his convenience, and which
will not run from kick, being satisfied
to repay such unkindness with grunts.--
When Mr.. Spriggins made at the hog, it
had found cozy corner, and was uproot-
ing the earth with the intention no doubt,
of making a comfortable resting place.
Mr. Spriggins readily imagined the grun-
ter to be demon, himself to be knight
of an ancient order, and the now agra
waited Mrs. Scruggs, majestic queen, who
had made it obligatory upon him to kill
the demon, to gain herhand. Mr.. Sprlg-
gins flew at the hog, and in less than no
time brought him kick which though as
strong as Mr.. Spriggins could give. mere
ly caused the animal to give asIight grunt.
'Shcw!' shouted Mr.. Spriggins, as he
gave another kick, and kick which sent
pain clear through his lower extreme
ties.
Ugh i responded the hog
Not liking this stubbornness, and fear
ing to kick again, Mr.. Spriggins seized
billet of wood, with which he brought the
beast a lick over the head. This aroused
the hog, and coming to the conclusion that
he had better leave, he made, what vo-
ters are apt to do about election time-a
bolt. The gate lay beyond Mr.. Sprggns,
and to save time and trouble, the hog
made sudden dart between Mr.. Sprig-
gins legs. So sudden was this man9u-
yre of the brute, that before Mr.. Spriggins
knew what the hog was doing, he found
himself lying heels up in the empty lime
tub. But he was not alone. Just before
this catastrophe, Mrs. scruggs had ap-
preached him unawares, with the inten-
ton OF cutting him and kicking the dog,
when the animal taking her in his range.
threw her on the top Of Mr.. Spriggins.
Now, the shock of the downfall might
have affected the nerves of Mr.. Spriggins,
but retaining his senses, and finding Mrs.