Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-12-08

A lady advertises in the London Times
for the address of another lady, with whom
she was at school more than twenty years
ago, that she may retnln to her old school,
fellow the half crown which she stole from
the store-room, and the sin. of which burth-
ems her conscience.
An Albany lady Ga lady of experience)
contends that kiss on the forehead de-
notes reverence for the intellect; kiss on
the cheek, that the donor impressed with
the beauty OF the kissed one: but that q
kiss imprintpd on the lips shows love.
Bachelors are not entirely lost to the re-
tinement OF sentiment, as will be seen by
the following toast, offered by one of the
much abused fraternity, at a celebration:
! Ladies Sweet briars in the garden oflife.'
Young gentlemen of poetic temper ament
81 ol'd remember that polkas, waltzes, and
similar Institutions were not inveated to
give opportunity to hug the ladies, but as
means to display grace, agility, power of
endurance, etc. Il Important distinction,
this, and true as the primer,
| Modem law may be divided into three
parts suppoSition, proof, and denial
Supposition is nothing; proof is next to
impossible; and to deny everything is the
main point.
An individual was arrested the othor
day in Cincinnati, endeavoling to pick
manspocket. He said he wasn't used to
the business, and was just trying to get his
hand in.
An advocate having lately gained suit
for poor young lady, she remarked, Il
have not anything to pay you with, sir.
but my heart
Hand it over to the clerk, ifyou please.
wish no fee for myself, he replied.
i don't like to patronise this line said
a culprit to hangman. Oh never mind
this once, it will soon suspend its opera.
I tions.' y.
Some Of the young ladies say that the
times are so hard that young men can't
pay their addresses.
An editor out west offers his whole print.
ing establishment, subscribers, and all, for
good meal Of victuals.
The following question is now being de-
bated out west Which is the most diff
cult TO teach blockhead to hold his
tongue, or a lobster to walk tight rope %
1 A rogue asked for charity on pretence of
being dumb. A lady having asked him,
with equal simplicity and humanity how
long he had been dumb, he was thrown
off his guard, and answered. nv
birth, madam" "Poor fellow said the
lady, handing him sixpenco.
A man was arrested in Cincinnati, re-
Gently for getting drunk. He pleaded
that he had not been guilty of violation
Of the new law, and claimed the right Of
being tried by the old, on the ground that
he got drunk under the old law, and hadn't
been sober since! The Judge was puzzled
! and held the case over for advisement.,
), An exchange, describing a counterfeit
bank bill, says the vignette is cattle and
hogs, with a church in the distance-a
+ good illustration of the world.
: Let she wittiest thing be said in socie-
ty, there is always sure to be soma one
| present who for the life Of him cannotsee
t the point of it,
Jane, what letter in the alphabet do
vou like best p ~. s... ss3r
: We'll, don'tlik to say, Mr.. Wright.'
t 'Poh nonsense !; tell right out, Jane !;
which do you like best p q
WE'LL (blushing and dropping her
!. eyes } I Like y bsat'