Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1854-12-04
n.,,oit Daily Advertiser, November 10.
.a,,sTuvellts a Patent MeGi-
cine.
New York, Nov. 6, 1854. /

rs New York, Nov. 6, 1854. /
~ ~ 7Ol Narrow street.
al u,olnlate me-my fortune is made
e e immortalized, and I've done it my
: have gone unto the patent medi-
), .ness. Ny name will be handed
IF - nosterity as that Of a universal
e Nv The hand which hereafter
: mon the record of Fame the names
= Sands, Townsend, Mofat, Morri-
: IlBrandreth must also inscribe, side
!, : ! With these distinguished appella-
,, de no less brilliant cognomen Of the
. H. Doesticks. Emulous of the death
! fsty which has been acquired by the
Mi worthless just mentioned, | also
!, IA TO achieve a name and fortune
same reputable and honest manner.
In gallon of tar, a cake Of beeswax
frkin of lard, and in twenty-one
Imesented to the world the batch
I I@sst.ck'8 Paten-,Self Acting-Four-
I sPower Balsam," designed to cure
eases of mind, body or estate, to give
~ to the weak, money to the poor,
and butter to hungry, boots to the
Ihot. decency to blackguards and COM
sense to the Know-Nothings. 1t
,5rsically, morally, mentally, psyche
5nr phvsiologically and geologically
Is Intended to make our sublunary
blis8ful paradise, to which Heaven
hail be but side-show.
have not yet brought it to absolute
Nation. but even now it acts with i'm
4 e force, as you will perceive by the
Inpanving testimonials and records of
3Tn individual experience. You will
we that have not resorted to the u
manner of preparing certificates !:
H. is. to be certain that all those inten-
for eastern circulation shall seem to
Ii from some formerly unheard-of place
he vest while those sent to the west
Il be dated at some place forty miles
Iafsunrise But 1 send to you, as re-
Renting the western country, a certih-
from an Oregon farmer:
dDear Sir: The Land composing my
has hitherto been SO poor that a
3chman couldn't get his living off it,
Il 50 stony that we had to slice our po-
YES and plant them edgeways; but hear
3f your balsam, | put some on the cor
3da ten-acre lot, surrounded by rail
and in the morning | found the
had entirely disappeared, neat
wall surrounded the field, and the
we're split into ovenwood and piled
smmetrieally in my back yard. Put
fan ounce into the middle of buckle
ny swamp; in two days it was cleared
! planted with corn and pumkins, and
a row of peach trees in full bloom
Trough the middle. AS an evidence of
tremendous strength, I would state that
rev a striking likeness Of my eldest
ghter-drew my youngest boy out of
mill-pond-drew blister all over his
nach--drew a load Of potatoes four
les to market, and, eventually drew a
lie Of nienty-seven dollars in the State lot
y, And the effect upon the inhabitants
gabout has been so wonderful, that
y have opened their eyes to the good
the country, and are determined to vote
ia governor who is opposed to frosts in
BE middle of June, and who will make a
Gtiye law against freshets, hail storms,
|d the seventeen year locusts."
There isn't that SonaeP But I give one
bore from the member of the senior class
} a western college, who, although mis-
snded neglected and ignorant, is undoub-
sdIy as honest and sincere as his Prussian-
2d education will admit of. [ have cor
sted the photography and revised some
,ammetical inaccuracies; but, besides at
admg to these trihes, inserting marks of
mctuation, and putting the capitals in
be right places, l assure you have made
alteration: sl
"Sall Harbor, June 81, 1854.
Ny Dear Doctor: you know l atten-
ID medical lectures half a winter and
ice assisted in getting crooked needle
It Of a baby's leg; so | understand per-
tly well the theory and practise Of med
ne and the doctor is perfectly legitimate
der the Prussian system.
By the incessant study required in this
l had become worn down SC
IN that l was obliged to put an overcoat
to cast a shadow-but accidentally hear
Of your balsam, l obtained a quantity
d in obedience to the homeopathic prin-
le of this institution, took an infinitesi-
| does only; in four days | measured
hundred and eighty-two inches rounc
waist-could chop eleven cords Of hick
wood in two hours and a half; and oil
ct, carried yoke of oxen two miles anC
uarter on my left hand, my right being
behind me and if any one doubts The
!, the oxen are still to be seen.
About two weeks after this, had tht
asure of participating in gunpowde
,losion, on which occasion my arms and
5 were scattered over the village, ant
mangled remains pretty equally distrl
ted throughout the entire county. I'm
: these circumstances my life was DIES
red of, and nay classmates had bought
'ine coffin, and borrowed whole shirts t
end the funeral in; when the invincibl'
wer of your four-horse balsam (which
opened to have in my vest pocket) sud
My brought together the scattered pie
Of my body-colleeted my limbs from
e rural districts-put new life into my
altered frame, and | was restored, unln
red, to my friends, with a new set Q
.uble teeth. l have preserved the labe
lch enveloped the bottle, and have sew