Plymouth banner. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1852-1855, 1854-05-04
SCANDAL.
NOW let it work. Mischief thou art
afoot.


iuhn bitan;s like the good people Of -Ath
ems. were much giyen either TO hear O
! tell some new things" lived square p.
face.ious and good natured sort Of body
whose jokes are even yet matter Of vii
lage record and have been retold thro
various editions from folio down to duo
decitnc.
Aunt t.izzy was Deacon Snipe's wife,
sister. maiden lady of about ffty-sht
went to all the meetings-krpt regula
account OF every birth, death and mar
riage with their dates--doctored all tn,
ba bies. and knew every YARD in th,
Observation-Disclosures all the young
married women in the neighbo,hood how
to make soap. and when they had bac
luck, made every child in the house sit
cross legged until the luck changed. Il
fine. she was kind OF village facso'um
spent her time in going f'om house ;o
house grinding ont a g:ist Of s!ander to
each, as occasion required, but al5yoys
concluded with ",he way Of transgress
ors is hard, '"poo, Mrs. 4. or B. (as the
case was pity her from the bottom OF
my heart" or some such very soothing
reflection. Aunt Lizzy was always fond
Of asking strangers and Others. without
regard 10 time and place. ";he state of
their mindsi how they enjoyed .Aei-
minaa. &c." These questions were gen
orally followed by "a string of scandal,
which was calculated to destroy the
peace and happiness of some Of her hest
neishbors and friends. Bat shs. like
other narrators Of this kind. considered
such Intellectual murder as either estg5-
fishing her own fair reputation. tor as
, the only mode Of entertaining the viii
Iage. and thereby rendering her society
agresab Bile.
One warm summers afternoon az the
Squire was sitting near his oflice door.
smoking his pipe, Aunt Lizzy was pass
ing by with great speed. Illuminating on
! the news of the day. when the Squire
brought her suddenly 20. as the sailors
say. by "w hats your hurry. Aunt Lizzy
walk in. The old lady who never
wanted second invitation. went into
the Office. and the following dialogue
soon commenced:
We'll. Squire p. lave been think
ing this forenoon what useful man you
might be. IL you'd only leave off yeur
/ light conversation. as the good book says,
and become sesious rnsn-you might
be III orna ment both so our church and
State. as our lniu.ste: saya.
Why, as 20 that. Aunt Lizzv. a cheer
fnl countenance consider the best in.
dex TO grateful heart. ond you know
what the bible says on the subject, =
"W hen ye fast be not as the hypocrites
of a sad countenance; but anent thy
head and wash thy face. (Aun, Lizzy be-
gan 10 feel. she was a teker of snuff that
thou appear no: unto men TO fas!."
Row. there squire-tha,'s just what
told !ou-see how you have scripture a,
your tongues end: what useful rlan
you might be if you would only be do
er as well as hesrer OF the wc,d."
"As to that, Aunt Lizzy. don't see
that your professors. as yoc call them.
are whit better than am in private
respect sincere professor as much as
any man. but know enough Of one of
your church. whom you think a great
deal Of. TO know that she is no better
thsn she should hel'
AT these inuendoe., Aunt Lizzy's little
black eyes began to twinkle; she sat
down beside the Squire in order TO sneak
III lower tone-spresd her Handkerchief
over her lap and began to tap the cover
OF her snuff box in true style, and al!
things being in readiness for regular
siege of 'scnnduium msgnatum,' she COM
menced f.e-
Now. Squire. | want 10 know wha.
you mean by one Of our church! know
who you mean-the trollop-I did, like
so many cvr's about her head when she
told her experience"
The Squire finding curiosity was put
ting his boots on. had no occasion TO put
spurs TO the heels, for the old lady had one
in her head that was worth both of them.
Accordingly he had no peace until he
consented to explain what he meant By
the expression lin private"-lhat was
dear word with Aunt Li,Ey.
Now, Aunt Lizsy will you take BIZ
VIC Ou'h tuot 1Ou VIII uSNCt COUl III uUl- !
cate what am about TO tell you. TO /
living being. and that you will keep il
while you live as an iiiviolable secre.2" /
"Yes. Squire. declare won't never
tell nobody nothing about it as long as .
breath the breath Of life; and I'll take
Bible oath on it,; there. sartin as live.
Squire. before you or any other magis
,rate in the whole county"
"Well then. you know when went up
TO Boston year ago"
Yes. yes. Squire. | know who went
with you too-Susey B. and Dolly T.,
and her sister Prudence"
Never mind who went with me, Aunt
Lizzy; there was lot of passengers
But. but"
None of your butts, Squire-out with
it--if folks will act so--a trollop-r
''Bu: Aunt Lizzy. I'm afraid you'll
bring me into scrspe."
i've told you over and over again that
nobody never shall know nothing about
il. and your wife knows ] amt leaky"
MY wifel wouldn't have her know
what was going to say for the world.
Aunt Lizzy. if she should krow it"
"Well. don't be afeared, Squire, once
for all. I'll take my oath that no living