Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1854-10-12

lofty stool-at lofty desk and with clerky
pen draw up this bill of complaints. May it
not return to me protested and dishonored.
| have already hinted that found some
trouble in selecting profession, and may as
well add that the same difficulty has been
found even in choosing amusements. 1t is
not pleasant to go to the theatre and sit behind
a six footer, whose head just obscures your
view of the fascinating little actress; and then
quest you to bend forward little as he cannot
see over your head, while at that very moment
he is looking down upon your programme.
AS for dancing, ladies must think l am short
indeed, for they either refuse altogether, or
remark, as | begin to warm up to the pleas
ure, ~ ou must be tired, sir = and sit down
with that resigned look ladies always wear
after dancing with an unsatisfactory partner.
Time was when | loved to ride horseback, and
no steed could be found which | dared not
mount Unfortunately, on one of my rides, |
heard some one remark that | looked like "a
little monkey, and ever after that the exercise
became too violent-ceased TO agree with my
health. The other day, however, concluded
to revive my old enjoyment, and driven as
much by necessity as by choice to select a
companion out Of our own family, persuaded
my inexperienced sister TO overcome her fear
and mount little black pony with long fet-
locks, shaggy name and tail, and an eye which
confess, did not please me. The start was
made in grand style, although | experienced
some difficulty in mounting, even from the
horse block, so tall steed as mine The
first mile was done respectfully, and my sis
ter enjoying herself finely, talked volubly,
with an occasional glance at her pony, who
began to show signs of wilful disposition,
and whose irregular curveting and plunging,
at times crowded my horse out of the path, a
thing l would not have minded had it not
been that from desire to make my legs ap-
pear as long as possible, had let down the
stirrups to the lowest notch, and consequently
derived from them no support. My anxiety
for my own seat left little ability to temper
the pOny's frolicsomeness, and the ugly beast
plunging forward and with caprice stopping
short, threw Rachel into the dust. Unaccus-
toned as | am to public riding, my heart per-
formed short pilgrimage TO my mouth,
stopped there a moment,-in which time
dropped my whip,-returned to its native
place, and in its pristine courage, urged me
to press my huge stallion step Or two and
to fling myself from his back Rachel crying
bitterly, could not reply to the question ~heth-
er she was hurt, but looked wistfully towards
her pony, then cropping thistles on the way
side. The pantomine was understood, and |
stepped forward to catch the animal, only to
be checked by my horse, whose bride | could
not relinquish, and who seemingly struck
with paralysis Of the fore legs, refused to
bulge an inch. had no whip, that having
been dropped several PAGES back. Coaxing
was out Of The question Rachel would not be
comforted and get the whip, but continued her
weeping. The pony every instant beheaded a
more distant thistle, and my horse, immovable
as the rock of Gibraltar, gazed complacently
down upon me and my futile attemps TO excite
him, as giraffe looks down upon its keeper
What miserable situation! Just at that mo-
ment, too, a riding party came up; three
beautiful ladies', with escorts, who were too
much amused to rein in the steeds before they
had excited the pony to vigorous flight
Accepting advice, put my sister in passing
omnibus, and with the assistance of a small
boy as boost climbed with much Difficult
ty into the saddle, which seemed to afford the
ladies subject for intense merriment. Dreari-
ly did turn my horses head towards home,
intending to send a groom for the truant pony.
In the meantime, however, horse stealer
had carried him off, and it was only with con-
siderable expense and the modification of see
ing my name several times in print, that he
was recovered. In conclusion, attributing all
my misfortunes to my small stature, / cannot
but express wonder that man should COM
plain that the whole world calls him a tall
fellow l measure five feet-no inches
PEPIN.