Washington sentinel. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1853-1855, 1854-01-19
masbingtnn gentinel,

Wasbingtulr gentinel.
How TO, TREAT A HUsnAND.--A husband
ought to be considered as o horse, with the mar.
riage bit in his mouth, hence the word bridal
or bride. If the wife hold the ribbons judi
ciously, he is easily driven about even in the
most dangerous parts of Broadway, such as
Genin's, Stewards, DE Forests, and Taylor's.
The whole science consists in your being able
to manage your ANIMAL mean husband, so
skilfully, that after driving him about New
York, constantly for eight months, from store
to store, he is yet able and willing to carry you
down to Saratoga, to spend the summer. An
accomplished wife should be able to assume,
like the moon, every phase of fascination but
whatever shape she assumes should be bright
one, from the crescent smile encouraging the
bashful husband, to the full moon gaze of ten
derness, which is payment in full, for some
Quintus Curtius act of immolation, such as a
diamond necklace, or new damask bed-hang-
ings. Never waste your smiles upon your hus-
band let him earn them arms (alms) giving
is bad, it discourages industry; what we get for
nothing, we despise When a husband is gem
erous, dispense your smiles upon him but be
careful not to overstock the Market kisses may
become drug, like corn, Goals, cotton, calico,
rhubarb, patriots, and poets. A wife's happi-
ness consists in her nervous system-a nervous
system cannot be healthily supported without
being fed upon soirees, satin dresses, rosewood
couches, pretty Mysteries, opera sofas, hectic
coughs, and violent sobbings. Wehave known
wife who screamed herself into set of rose
wood furniture, and languished 50, day by day.
that at last when dying, she found herself in q
fifth Avenue palace, which had so beneficial an
influence upon galloping consumption, that
she resolved to give over dying, and live for
twenty years to come. III
One word more, dear wife, and / have done.
Above all things, avoid that last French
fashion, Of coup detats-they are dangerous in
politics. fatal in marriage. You may indulge
in one before wedlock, (by the by, there is no
Club to pick that lock, except chubby boy,)
but these strokes of state as Lord Palmer
ston says, are not exactly fitted for the United
States Of Marriage. Marriage is the real spirit
of the ring, and when we say this, we intend
no reference to the spirits of Alderman Ring
we mean only that the wedding ring is the
magic circle out of which, like Caspar in
Der Frezschutz,' it is terribly difficult to es-
cape. Above all things, dear wives, let me
warn You against letting your husbands have
their own way, even though only once-that
tasted human blood, crave after it necessarily,
and are ten times fercer than before. | can
assure you, my dear wives, that tiger is not
half so ravenous and unreasonable beast as
husband. beg the former noble animals
pardon for the degrading comparison. We'd
ded happiness is founded upon the axiom that
woman cannot be wrong She has never
been so from the days Of Eve, and never will
beat all events, it will never do for woman
to acknowledge it; the woman who makes that
suicidal admission will be considered as the
Judas Iscariot Of her sex. Farewell, my dear
wives, now you may 60 and tease your hus-
bands. ,El
P. S.-Always select the most expensive ar
ticles, and the most useless, they may be
wanted. s 1f l3 t'afdRs f.' 5a
A DELICATE DEvELoPMENT.-An affair that
would have afforded the saloons of Paris pun
gent materials for thirty days gossip, occurred
in our own correct and sombre town, on Thurs
day night. What was it. who and where
exclaims the quid nnncs. If the faux pas
could have been kept private this journal would
gladly consent, for it has no Willisian taste for
Grim. con. cases, however deliciously told but
an incorrect statement appearing in Sunday
paper, the truth should be told. ..ii WI
a Mrs. Linton, the frial but fair spouse of
a mild little storekeeper in Maineville, quiet
village in Warren county, some two miles from
Fosters Crossings, was thought to have set
many antlerian ornaments on the forehead OF
her husband. Now, however graceful the horns
may look in the splendid cabins of the Tele-
graph and Jacob Strader, however much they
may be coveted by Mcclellan as Summons,
there are few men who wear them with even Q
tolerable grace. Mr.. Linton forms no excep-
ton to this rule. He sued-it is understood
that the application first came from the Tilted
husband in the courts at Lebanon-for dl-
yorce
A lawyer Of Warren county, who has de-
served the distinguished position accorded to
him at the bar, came forward and gallantly
undertook the ladys defence. He became
interested in the accomplishments, and fas-
cinated by the charms Of the defendant
Quite conscious Of the unkind and sympa-
thizing way the world has of looking at the
affairs of the heart, where the heart has
oerhowed and swamped the Judgment, the
honorable trainers Of the organic laws, and as.
sstant creator Of constitutions, endeavorcd to
get beyond the charmed circle. But the fasci-
nations of the defendant secured the victory.
He might procure divorce from Mr.. Linton,
but how to procure divorce for himself?
There lay the difficulty. Finally, and for the
purpose OF a fuller consultation, the counselior
and his dark.eyed client came to Cincinnati,
and took rooms at one Of the fashionable hotels.
Having an evening on their hands, they went to
see Mr.. Barmore, Mr.. Hanchett, and Mrs. Chap
man, in Uncle Tom. Mr.. Linton went to see
Uncle Tom also. There was q theatre within
theatrel When Topsey had displayed all hel
wickedness and the curtain fell on the mur
dered slave Mr., Linton crept softly behind his
wife and her lover, till oil three arrived at the
w. House. The lawyer and his client retired
to an elegant parlor bed room, closed the door
and turned the key to prevent intrusion.
Girdling Trees to make the Corn Grow.