Burlington tri-weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1852-1855, 1854-12-26
As ARKANSAS INVENTION. 4

As ARKANSAS INVENTION. n
OR. now THE GENERAL sssold' THE EDITOR or
THE SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN.
About the commencement OF the present
decade we had the honor of being enc Of an
illustrious trio who originated and controlled
d Democratic newspaper, named the Arkun- |
san Trdreler. published at the fourishing
town Of Camden, Ouachita Co., Ark. We
numbered among our exchanges the ScIES-
Ttric AMERICAN, valuable then, as now
Among our patrons in Camden was one Gen.
eral Tom Woodward, shrewd old gent, full
of anecdotes, an inveteratc practical joker,
a good Judge of ssrye' and, to cap the eli
max Of his convivial accomplishments, was
great on the ssArkansaw Traveller" Ga cele-
brated dancing tune with legend.) One
sutry day n the summer of 80, the Genera!
walked into our pr ntlng office, picked up the
Scientific American, and commenced reading
the Editors ssNotice TO Inventors" in which
he offered his services in the obtaining of
patents for useful inventions, &c. After
reading it through, the General requested
pens and paper. The stationery was placed
before him, and in few moments he had
written his letter, sealed and superscribed it
to Mum Il Co., New York, and our devil was
despatched to the post Office with it. We
sssmelt a mice, - but said nothing. The next
tim the Scientific American came we eager.v
opened it. and there, sure enough, among the
s.notices to correspondents" was the follow
ing:
ST. W., Camden, Ark. Musical inven-
tons. If Of real benefit, and not too costly,
generally prove lucrative to the nvantor.-
We cannot inform you as to the practicabili-
ty Of obta ming a patent, until you send US
IN del, or an accurate description of the in
sirument.o
This paragraph we read to the General the
next time we saw him; for our politen IS in
the matter, he permitted us to read his de-
scription Of the wond srful instrument pre-
yious to its being despatched to the Scientific
American; it was as follows:
.sDear Sir: BY your request will as brief
" and clearly as can, endeavor to describe
my new musical inventions: 1t has very much
tie appearance, at first sight, of case for a
huge, double action harp. from six to eight
inches square at the smaller end, thence grad
ually expanding to four feet square; one side
perforated with augur holes. The inner
Compartments OF the instrument are occu-
pied BY swine from the four weeks rooster
at the little end, ranging gradually up to an
eight year old MAZE grunter--the tails OF all
protruling through the before mentioned au-
CUR holes. The performer stands upon the
outside of the instrument with a couple of
blacksmith's pinchers in his hands: he has
thus full command of the machine, and a
practlced hand can run the chromatic scale
in most brilliant manner. You will at once
p reeve that my invention is a valuable one,
combining immense volume of tone with an
almost unlimited power of expression, and
vast compass-from the shrill soprano Of the
infantle porker, down to the deep ''peddler
base,o as Mrs. Darlington expresses it, of his
more aged aacestor--thus inclading ever so
many octaves. BY prolonging the pinch the
tones can be prolonged indefinitely, thus do
ing away with the Eolian Dolce Campana,
and other attachments, (includng the Sher-
if's) have not yet decided whether to call
my invention the "Swnett'' or the s.pig- an
na.' Your advice upon this subject, togeth-
er with Your assistance in obtaininga patient
"according to Hoyle,' will be gratefully ia
ken by, Yours truly,
THoS. WOODWARD.
| Mum & Co., Eds, Scientific American.
/ The next weeks American contained the
following paragraph
/ I. W., Camden, Ark.-Your description
\ Of the new musi al invention has come to
/ hind. We think it pattentabe, and on the
/ receipt Of the usual fee will endeavor to OBJ
tain the desired patent. We have no doubt
but that you can make the invention pay,
Us it fills de>ideratum which must have
! been long felt in the refined locality Of Ar
kansas. If the aged swine which forms the
BASE of your "Piganna,v should, accidental
/ ly, not be procurable, we would recommend
the inventor to I'll his place; indeed W, know
OF no one more admirably adapted by nature
and education to the position, for in the
whole course of our editorial experience we
were never bothered with the lucubrations Of
a more uninitigated BORE"
The last shot Frustrated the General; he
treated all hands 10 water-mellons to keep
the joke to ourselyes.-[Swanton (Vt.)
Herald.
Webster and his Friends--A Good Anecdote.
/ A New York correspondent of the Detroit
Inquirer, relates the following anecdote,
concerning Daniel Webster, which we do not
recoliect ever having Seen before. 1t illus
trates the almost idoatrons devotion with
which the great statesman was regarded by
many Of the people of Massachus it's. Mr.W.
bought portion Of the Marshfeld estate from
MIR. Thomas, aplaln farmer and fisherman,
]