Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1850-1854, 1854-11-09
Rarnum.s speech on Humbugs.
DELIVERED AT STANFORD ON THE occA
SION OF THE AGRICULTURAL FAIR.

SION OF THE AGRICULTURAL FAIR.
1t seems to be a most unfortunate cir
cumstance that | should be selected to
speak on Humbug, as look on the ladies'
whose profession it peculiarly is, | find it
hard to express myself in their presence.
Every thing is humbae; the whole State
IS huInbug. except our Agricultural Socl-
ety-that alone Is not.
IIumbug is generally defined deceit
or imposition A burglar who breaks
into your house. forgcr who cheats you
of your property, or q rascal. Is not a
humbug; humbug is an impostor, but
in my opinion, the true meaning of hum
bug is management-ta tactic take an
old truth and put in an attractive form.
But no humbug is great without truth
at the bottom. The woody horse was a
reality. llo was really born witha woody
coat. bought him in Cincinnati for
$500 and sent him on to Connecticut. bat
for lorg time doubted what | should
do with him and feared that he would die
On my hands. just at tins time in 1S-
10, Col. Fremont and his party were re-
Rocky Mountains; the public were great
-ly excited, but shortly news came that
he was safe. Now came the chance for
the woolly horse.
1t was duly announced that after three
days course upon the borders of the riv-
or ella, an animal had been captured by
the Guartermastcr Of Col. Fremont's par
ty. who partook in singular degree of
the nature Of the buffalo. antelope and
camel. This story was SO far true, that
| was myself the quartermaster who cap
tured him. and | charged quarter for
the the sight. The picture outside the
exhibition depicted the animal as jump
ing over ledge Of rocks. Now if the
animal had really leapcd, as shown in the
picture, he must have passed over space
of five miles. To have believed that he
could have survived such leap, would
have been the groSsest humhug.
But Col Benton, who understands no
humbug but his own, arrested my scheme,
and prosecuted me for obtaining money
under false pretences, as the horse was
not what it professed to be; but | think
wrongly as the people who saw it were
satisfied, and they got the worth oftheir
money.
Now the scientific humbug should
know the precise moment to act as did
or the world would never have been bless
ed with sight OF the woody horse.
When the woody horse arrived from
Connecticut. he was put in a stable near
Lovcjoy,s Hotel. One of She boartlers
who came to see him recognized him as
an animal he had seen at Bridgeport
Good heavcnsn' he cried, II have seen
that animal before; it is really an extra
ordinary humbug." lie took upa friend
from the same hotel, and after lie had
seen the Animal let him into the secret.
and in succession thirty-seven persons
were carried up all of whom took the
humbugging in good humor except the
last man.
| have not the vanity to call myself
real scientific humbug, am only an
humble member of the profession.
My ambition to be the Prince of Hum
bugs | will resign, but | hope the public
will take the will for the deed; | can as
sure them that if had been able'to give
them all the humbugs have thought of,
they would have been amply satisfied.
Before | went to England with Tom
Thumb, | had skeleton prepared from
various bones. 1t was to have been made
Is feet high; it was to have been buriel
year or SO in Ohio, and then dug up
10y accident, SO that the public might
learn that there were giants ofol1. The
price | was to pay the person who pro-
posed TO put the skeleton together was
10 have been 1925.
But finding Tom Thumb more success
full than | thought, sent word not to
proceed with the skeleton. My mana
ger, who never thought as highly of the
scheme as it deserved, sold tire skeleton
for $50 or S15.
Seven years altcrward ! received from
the South an account Of gigantic skelc
ton that had been found. Accompanying
it were certificates of scientific and med
ical men, as to the gentIinenses. The
owner asked $4,000 or 81 900 a month;
| wrote to him if he brought it on |
would take it if found it as represented
or would pay his expenses ifnot; | found
it was my own old original humbug come
back to me again. OF course | refused
it, aud never heard Of il afterward.