Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1854-05-19

that in a minute. 1t is an attribute
Of genius to accomplish its desires
with imperfect instruments. There
was no stoppage in the pipe; tri-
ed it myself.
was at my wits end, and l
laid the baby on the floor, examining
my fingers into my ears. II was OF
no use. | could not shut out the
sound. 1t was like a thousand Gear
piercing pipes" drilling me through
and through. | was riddled with
screams that touched like galvanic
wires on every nerve. The clatter
of three-story cotton mill, with a
hundred girls talking of new bon
nets through the din, was nothing
to it. All the locomotives in the
Union, tortured into a state of ago.
ny, would alone compare with it.
But mill and locomotive might be
stopped, and baby could not be quiz
eted, even for moment. Any thing
but a bahy's lungs would have been
worn out by such an abuse of pow
er-but their strength only increas-
ed, seeming to acquire new pipes at
every blast.
What would | not have given for
the sight of a petiicoat bearing down
to my relief? Never did Robinson
Crusoe on his desert island gaze
more longiugly over the ocean in
search of a sail than | did down the
road for a bonnet and curls. lcould
have smiled lovingly on the latest
dowager that ever sweltered in the
West Indies, or the thinnest scrub
that pays her devotions to the door
steps, But the feminine, like other
useful commodities, had all vanished
when most wanted Even the cat,
accustomed to nursing as she was
even the cat, sensible creature,
had disappeared.
Like the distressed hero of nov
ell, | was left to my own resources,
and had no resources left. There
was a baby Hopping about on the
floor like a porpolse on a ships deck,
as if lying on its beam ends was a
natural position. ughted 1t a doz-
en- times, but over it went again, as
if all its ballast had shifted to the
head. | brought the shovel and
tongs and the bellows from the fire.
place, but baby wouldn't look at
them, not a bit of it; although |
took the trouble to blow the bel
lows in the blue bottles face, and
sent the threads on the carpet flying
about the room. Even the clothes
brush and nutmeg-grater proved no
attraction, and | broke a suspender
button hopping about like a frog on
all tours. If had stood on my head
and shook the pennies out of my
pockets, it would have had no eff
feet. Even lump of sugar would
not bride it to be quiet. 1t made
wry faces at the mirror, and pitch
ed savagely into the pillow, turned
Indignantly at the tea-kettle, and
squared off at the rolling pin. If
had given it the carvingknife, | do
verify believe that it would have
cut off its own head, and made two
squalls instead of one but | for
bore. Give me credit for my mag
nanimityl forbore.
For nearly a mortal hour-an age
was | thus kept i'll a state of frenzy.
My hairs stood up "like quillsupon
the fretful porcupine." They have
always stubbornly refused to lie
down smoothly since. If my trial
had lasted much longer, | should
certainly have had a "gray head
upon young shoulders" Perhaps
should have sunk into the grave
with nervous fever, and had {" Di-
i ed of baby nursing" for an epitaph
upon my tombstone. Fortunately
for the public in general, and me
in particular, | was spared such a
catastrophe by the return of the
mother, who burst painting into the
room at the critical moment when
my JobIike patience had miserably
pershed-by degrees, as the water
leaks from a broken-hooped bucket
With what a feeling of relief did
look up at the old clock as it an
: nounced to me in its most cheerful
tones, +" She's come she's come y
Would you believe it-but I'm
sure you can't, the fact seems toe
great an enormity-that little piece
of perversity was quiet as lamb ii
a minute 4! Why, the mother wa:
so deceived that she actually called
it her precious lamb !" | heard
her, and was astounded. l wonder
she didn't feel sheepish know
did. Lamb, indeed If that wal
: being a lamb, what would it be
when it become mutton2 Why, i
was fast asleep again in no time
} and laughing in its dreams over the
fun it had enjoyed. Didn't | vow
never to be caught alone with ba'
by again. If ever | am, may | be
-rserved in the same manner a
gam.
From the Observer.