The Santa Fe weekly gazette. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.T. [i.e. N.M.]) 1851-1854, 1854-04-22
The Unintentional Divorce.

The dangers of log-rolling with a Le-
gislature are graphically described in the
following sketch:
"One winter there came into Trenton
New Jersey, two men named Smi tn and
Jones, who had both of them designs up.
on the legislature. Jones had a bad
wife, and was in love with a pretty wo-
mamie wished to be divorced from the
bad wife, SO that he might marry the
pretty woman-who, by the by, was a
widow, with black eyes, and such bust;
therefore, Jones came to Trenton for a
divorce. Smith had a good wife, plump
as a robin, good as an angel, and the
mother of ten children; and Smith did
not want to be divorced, but did want to
get a charter for a turnpike, or plank
road, to extend from Pigs Run to Tara
pin Hollow. Well they, with this diffe-
rent errands, came to Trenton, and ad-
dressed the assembled wisdom with the
usual arguments. lst Suppers mainly
composed of oysters, with a rich back
ground of steak and venison. End. Ii
quors in great plenty from Jersey light
ning-which is kind of locomotive at
full speed reduced to liquid shape to Ne
wark champagne. To speak in plain
prose- Jones the divorce man, gave u
champagne supper, and Smith the turn.
pike man followed with a champagne
breakfast. Under the modifying inAu-
ence ofwhich, the assembled wisdompas-
8ed both the divorce and turnpike bills.
and Jones and Smith-a copy ofeach bill
in parchment in their pockets-went re-
ioicing home, over miles OF sand and
| through the tribulation Of many stage
coaches. Smith arrived at home in the
evening, and as he sat down IN his par
IIor, his pretty wife basil him how pret-
10y She dij look and five Of tho children
asleep overhead, the other five studying
( their lessgns In the corner Of the room,
Smith was induced to expatiate upon the
good results Of his mission to Trenton.
"A turnpike, my dear. lam one Of the
Directors and will be President, it will
set us up, love--we can send the children
to a boarding school and live in style, out
Of the toll. Here is the charter, honey,
Let me see It'll said the pretty woman
who was one Of the incest wives, with
plumpness and dimpling all over her face
let me see it; and she leaned over Smiths
shoulder, pressing her arm upon his own
as she looked at the parchmhnt, But all
at once Smiths vi8ago grew long. Smi-
tbs wite's visage grew black. Smith
was not protane, but now he ripped an
awful oath; Blast it, wife these internal
scoundrels at Trenton have gone and di,
vorced usP
1t was too true, the parchment which
he held was bill of divorce, in which
the name ofSmith and Smiths wife ap.
pearedin frlghtfully legible letters.-M
Smith wiped her eyes with the corner of
her apron. Here's tunpike.P
Blast, the pike and the legislature, and
-, Well, the fact is, that Smith, redu-
ced to single blessedneSs, and enacted
into stranger to his own wife, swore
awfully. Although the night was dark,
and most Of the denizenS of the village
had gone to bed, Smith bid his wife put
on her bonnet and arm in arm they pro-
ceeded to the house of a clergyman of
| their church.
Goodness bless mel exclaimed the
mild good man, as he saw them enter,
Smiths wife wiping her eyes with the cor.
ner of her apron--Goodness bless me
what's the matterl'
'The matter is, | want you tomarry us
two right Off replied Smith.
Marry you9' calculated the clergy
man, with expanded fingers and awful
eyes, ARE you drunk or crazy!'
4 amt crazy, and | wish | was drunk,
said Smith, desperately: the fact is, broth
er Goodwin, that some scoundrels at Iren-
ton unknown to me and at dead ofnight,
have gone and divorced me from my
wife she is the mother of--of nine small
childrenP
Ten suggested Mrs. Smith, who was
crying.
We'll, the good minister seeing the state
of the case, Qhe Trenton parchment was
duly produced from the pocket of the lu-
gubrious Smith) married them over
Straight-way, and would net take fee.
The fact is, grave as he was, he wasdy-
ing to be alone, SO that he could give vent
to suppressed laugh, which was shak-
ing him all over.
Smith and Smiths wife went joyfully
home, and kissed every one of the ten
children. The little Smiths never knew
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