Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1854-04-19

1Dit cEo Ejunlor.

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s-aT-Ibere Is such thing as prastiea
souaudrum which is uot smiss
Look. lea. sam, said western negro
Que day 10 Geld hand, over the fenee il ~
sajgining lot, lock hes, d'you SEE dst tall
tree. dars
Yass. jim does
'Wsll, ! got up dat tree day ''9r to NOR
rev.
.Wba. was you arter, Jnf'
4 was after coon; ard VI 81 bsa chased
bin clear cut to fodder end oh dat longest
liza. hearn somGn drap. What you guess
twas, Sam q
DE coon, Oh course
No you don't; twas dis htre nigga -
Eyab! Like to broke bin neck beea lim-
pin bout stcr since
xssJ-Ths South Western Iodependeut,'
published at Fayetteville. Arkausss, is res
ponsitlc for the following
= Ben Ca'aker vas describing the other day
10 Tip Onstott the skill Of Sportsman 10
Mississippi, with the shot gun.
why, sail be- i have seen him take two
patridges and let them both 20 one 10 front,
aud the other behind him and he would FIRE
and kill the other.
Did be have double barrelled gun 2 IN
qIired Tip. Yes replied Ben.
well, but sail Tip 1 can beat that.
saw man do tie SIM, thing with single
5rrre!p
g1~ little ElIow. from four to i've years.
oil having perfCrated the knee OK bis trowsers
was intensely delight with patch bis grand.
mamrna had applied. He would 81. and geze
2. & = =.
aud in one D: these moods suddenly exclaim
cd:
Grand. ma must put one on other knee. and
Two behind. Ike Eddy Smiths
II that boy lives, be will beat Gov. Marcy
two to one
ea5- Very plain young lldy Nov, my
dsar--alem .-'Ios is it that You look 50
delicate and fairy ike. when FOR the life Of
me can't"
Delicate yourg lady--"Well, Anna Maria,
amer great deal Of exruimeutiug. have |
found out that eating slate pencils, aud drink !
ing vinegar cocnhined with tight acing sit.
ting up late a. night, aud sevora! other thiags
have made me fairy like as you say
s<1-A chap out West, tried advertising
for wife. II worked TO charm, as usual
He says he has received in answer to his ad
vertisement. 1874 lotters. IL daguerreotype
likeuesses Of Indies, COLL finger rings, II
loeks OF hair, copy Of Ike Marvel's 'Reve
Ties Of a Bachelor" / tbimhlo aud 2 zen
shirt buttons
sSy-A western Judge has decided that
stationary, umbrellas. oyercoats, and rubbers,
are not property. but articles of miscellane-
Gus utility The result is. that those goods
have very rapid circulation in those parts
Gentlemen who are little short in triGes of
this nature should sail for the west
Swear not at all, Abimclach, swear not at
all Abimelach, swear not a: all That's Just j
what | does. don't swear at all; | only
susses the sehooimaster.'
The last we saw Of Abimelech. he was GO
Ing over garden fence, closely pursued by
araw-hide.
ns9-What plant given by lady to her
sutor would express leave Of absence -
Sage Say %,
Why is an I'M born infant like faith? Be
-~~so III t'ru substitute or lungs Doped Tor
ana the evidence of things IN. seen.
nS1-Mrs. Jnkirs says if you punch the
pith out Of a horse hair, and fill it with the
little cud of nothing whitfield down to point.
It viii rattle as sonorously as some Of the re.
ported speeches of modern legislators. Mrs
D. had better look ont how she talks
ETy~'Why, 'Siah, am astonished,' spid a
worthy deacon didn't We take you into
our church short time since 2
Ibelieve SO, hicuppcd Siah; and between
you and ne, it was littlo the darpedest take
la you ever saw or heard Of
gs3-A capital receipt for making choep
kind o. rigolette Take common stocking
hose, We meaneut of the foot draw tie
remaining portion over your head aud you
have complete 'rigolette'
Esas' One of the Albany editors SAYS that
tue only reason why bis dwelling was not
blown away during the late severe gale. was
because there was heavy mortgage on it.
HSg~Thc Russians never laugh Wien
they feel funny, they double, squeeze their
vitals. aud then give their bushy moustachc
deuaed twitch. Quecr dogs, are those bears /
Inconsistency. Con lemning boy to prs,
on Tor stealing handkerchief, aud yet allow !
ing wealthy merchant who bas been con.
victod several timss Of using false weights. /
to get # with small fae
g6zy- An urchin being sent for cents
worth Of Maccaboy snuff forgot the name Of
the article, and asked for a cents worth Of |
mako a-boy sneezc.
Bait is said that Time cuts down all /,
both great aud small House rents, hcwcy !
err are exception, for they are always going
up.
sGJ~lt is pretty evident that whon man
buys one hundred dollar haudkerchiefs for
duck Of wife, that he is goose Of q has
band
neB~lt was observed Of celebrated ply
stefan, that he never said in company 4 drink
your health, but My service to you
Pretty good The Cincinnati Crlnmhinn