The weekly Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1852-1855, 1854-01-19

estiDg bot profitable:
COMFORT FoE rnE BAcHELoRs. We pub
lsh the following for the consolation Of the !
"bAchelor fraternity" We tTast that the
ladies', both married aad single, will not be
offended, aud the msrrjed geBtlemeR will
excuse Is. Old bachelors certainty need
"lia" occasionally
Ii was on New Years eve, ia 1870, that
twelve Professional young men sat round the
table Of club room 81 supper. The mid
night heur had nearly arrived, when one Of
them proposed 10 seal up bottle OF vinegar
for the last bachelor"
The proposition was received with uni
ycTsal shout Of apprsbatisn. The vinegar
was er4aEs4, 'rilh PeIl,aink. mud paper. A
bond was written oiii, 6y which each mem
! Der bound bimsen TO drink il. ia case it fell
to his lot, on the last man bat himself, was
married; and after passing round the table,
il was laid aside, with its signatures, until
twelve. As.the clock struck the seal.was
set upon the bottle, and it was then put a
way for safe Keeping.
II was Oh the last night of Is4S, that
single gentleman sat down alone at the club
table 10 Arch street, v it'll dusty bottle &
single glass before him. The rain was
beating violently against the windows. and,
in pause Of the guest, as he sat with his
hands thrust deeply into his pockets, the SOL
emn tones OF the old clock, striking eleven,
reached bis ears. He started and seizing
the bottle, held il MP to the light, with
contraction Of the muscles Of the face, and a.
shudder OF disgust ghte incemprehensibie TO
the solitary servant who awaited his pleas
iure.
/ You may leave the room, William said
( he. As the door closed he drew from his
pocket smoky, time stained manuscript
and number OF letters, ard threw them i'm
1 patiently on the table A iter sitting mo-
meut, and tightening his coat around him 10
the manner OF one screWing mp his resolu-
tions wiih some difficulty, he filed his glass
from the bottle, and drank il of with sud
den and hy ystcrical gulp.
Bah! it cuts like sword. And so, here
am--the last bachelor. little thought II
ieighieen years ago. this night. How fresh
lii is in my mind! Eighteen years since, |
pul the seal on that hottie with my own
hand. i, seems impossible. How distinct
ly remember those dozen rascally Bene-
diets who are laughing at me tonight, seat
ed around this vey table. and roaring at
nv proposition. All married-St. John and
Fred Esperel and Ned Gourlay and tonight,
last of all, OLnveuder. Aud Amt is
useless to deny 1.-THE old baehe lor. And
so they have each written me letter, as
: they promised. Let me see:
| Dear Tom How is the vinegari think
II see you with the bottle before you! Who
would have dreamed that you would drink
, Iitl Poor Tom! am married as you know;
, and nv children sing "we are seven"
am very haPpy-gery. My wife-you know
her-is woman Of education, and knows
t everything. can't say but she knows to'
j much Her learning does pester me little
{ now and then. confess thatif were tc
marry again, itwould be woman tha
didn't read Greek. Farewell, Tom. Mar
ry and be yirtuous. HARRY
: p. S.-Never marry woman OF talents
Ia! hal happy, vsry happy! Your wife il
blue, visulent as verdigris, and you the
; most unhappy of Benedicts. So much TO
e your Growing. Well see another.
. Toni pity thee! Thou poor, flannel
wrapped, forsaken fifgetty old bachelor
e drink thy vinegar and grow amiable. Her
:. am I blessed as Abraham. My wife Is th'
=, most innocent creature that lives. She love
|, me to foolish degree. She has no oPin
ion but mine-no will OF her own, excep
such as | give her, you UNDERSTANDING fault
/ and no prominent propensties. | am
IS lhanpy as can expect to be in this sa
a world. Marry, Tom, marry. The worl
must be peopied. Thine ever. FRED,
p. S.--Dun't marry a woman that Is re
: markable for her simplicity.
10 envy not thes, Fred Esperel. Thy wit
e is fool, and thy children egregious ninniei
tn eyery one. Thou woulds't give the Who'll
bunch of their carro;y heads for thy hbert
II again. Once more:
a. Tom, my lad, get married. 'Matrimony
. won know, lis like Jeremiah's hgs-the goo
:, are very good'---the rest Of the quotation
- linapt. My wife is the prettiest woman
: the city--I wish she wasn't, by the w'y.-
= NV house is the resort of all the gay youn
- fellows about town. am quite the thing
), nv wife is, that is to say---eYerywhere
\ am excessively happy---excessively---a "A
a sure yourself Of that. grow tin, th'
~ saw. but that's age; and I've lost my hab
- oflaughing, but that's proper, as I'm We
tryman. On the whole, however, I'm to
=. erable contented, and think may live te
veurs, if my wife settles down, as she wi
ie Won know. God bless you, Tom. How
the vinegar! Well, marry, marry; mil
nd that. Yours, always. u.
ou p. ST. wouldn't marry beauty, II
re were you. Tom.
is, poor Gourlay. His wife is belle, al
~ he is as Jealous as Blue Beurd--dying abs
lu,ely Of corrosiou. 1t is eating him up
inches. Hang the letters! they make
y, melancholy. One more, and will thrt
ne the boding things into the hre.
'r- NV Dear Toni hope the gods ha
er- promised thee new weusend. The VII
", rar improves doubtless, by age. IL must
ed n satisfaction, too, ,.that it is nectar+of y
nd own bottliug. Here am |, the happiest {
that is coupled. My wfe--I took warn
from Gourlay-is not run after by pack
'o- puppies. She is not handsome, hea'
lat kpows-I wish she were trfe prettie
on but che is as good as Dorcas. All! how
ar walk aud talk, epsHin9s. prefer that u
u as can Imagine her pretty, when dc
see her, you know, Tom. And how we
in the dim light of the parlor, and gaze
- each Others just perceptible figure,
= tsigh! All! Tom, marry. aud be blessed
~, am. Yours uuy
md n 6 u.rrvo n voman that is at le
"'S pretty, Tom.
The Gods forbid that should marry
like yours, Phil. She is enough TO m
gis- ones face ache! Aud 50, you are aii
ep; coutented; ones wife is too smart, anoth
OBJ too simple, another's too pretty, anu anf
--as er,s too plain. And what might not IN
h,vc been had |, too, been irrepairaol!