Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-07-01
P 0 B I R Y.
APPEAL TO A BACHELOR.
BY JOHN @. SAKE.

Dear Charles, be persuaded TO wed
For a sensible fellow like you.
It's high time to think of bed,
And mullins and coffee for two!
So have done with your doubts and delaying
With soul so adapted to mingle,
No wonder the neighbors are saying
IT'S singular you should be single!
Don't say you hav'nt got time,
That business demands your attention
There's not the least reason for rhyme
In the wisest excuse you can mention,
Don't tell mo about sother fish,"
Pour duty is done when you buy 'em,-
And you never will relish the dish,
Unless yeu have woman to fry 'em
Don't listen to querulous stories
BY desperate damsels related,
Who sneer at connubial glories,
Because they've known couples mismate
Such people, if they had their pleasure,
because silly bargains are made,
Would deem it rational measure
To lay an embargo on trade
You may dream of political fame,
But your wishes may chance to miscarry,
The best way to send ones name
To oposterity, harles, is to marry!
And here l am willing to own,
After soberly thinking upon it,
I'd very much rather be known
By a beautiful son than sonnet!
To Procrastination be deaf
"a hemily sent from above,)
The scoundrePs not only ''ths thief
Of time" but of beauty and love
o, delay not moment to win
Aprize that is fully worth Winnings
Celibacy, Charles, is sin.
And sadly prolific of SHINING.
Then Charles, bid you doubling good bye,
And dismiss all fantastic alarms
III be sworn you'vea girl in your eye
'Tis you duty to have in your arms!
Some trim little maiden of twenty,
A beautiful, azure-eyed elf.
With virtues and graces in plenty.
And no failing but loving yourself!
Don't search for an "angel" minute,
For granting you win in the sequel,
The deuce, after ali would be in it;
With Union so very unequal!
The angels it must be confessed,
In this world are very uncommon!
Aud allow me, dear Charles, to suggest
You'll be better content with a woman,
could furnish abushel of reasons
For choosing conjugal mate
1t agrees with all climates and seasons,
Andgives you ''double estatel''
To ones parents lis gratefully DUE
Just think what terrible thilg
'Twould have been, sir, for me and for Won.
If ours had forgotten the ring
Then there's the economy---clear,
BY poetical algebra shown
If your wife has a grief or fear,
One half, by the law is your own! s
And as by the joys by division,
They're nearly quadrupled, tits said,
(Though l never could see the addition
Quite plain in the item Of bread)
Remember, l do not pretend
"There's anything perfect about it!
But this I'll aver to the end,
Life's very imperfect without it!
IT'S not that there's poetry" in it, M
AS, doubtless there may be to those
Endowed with a geaius to win it ,"
But I'll warrant you excellent prose
Then, Charles, be pursuaded 10 wed:
For sensible fellow like you,
It's high time to think of bed, t
And mullins and coffee for two;
30 have done with your doubts and delayin
80 With soul so adapted to mingle,
No wonder the neighbors are sayi g
'Tis singular you should live single.
a.r ---~~~-~~~>-~>~>~~~~-~~~
A gentleman one day last winter wa
LOOKING affontsvotsy os ~ou,n o.,.,,.;,~ -