The Cedar County advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1856, 1854-10-07

How replied Jim, Aa,.ered by the re.
mark, how Is tina. 2 @
Why, a police officer told ne that you |
believed everything You saw belonged to |
'ou, and as the public didn't you left'
Why is young man hugging his sweet
heart like an epicure who permits his
wine to leak away? Give that up sar-
tain. Bekase he is wasting what he
loves. The perpetrator of this was sent
10 hug the penitentiary. Sarv'd him right.
Does this razor 90 easy asked bar
Der of victim who was writing under a
clumsy instrument, whose chief demon
stration was a strong handle.
Well, replied the poor fellow, that de-
nends upon what you call the operation,
IT YOU are SHINING me, it goes ,olerably
easy, but if you are shaving, ii goes rath-
er hard.
Because YOU can swallow 4 bealsteak.
do not think you can swallow an OK in
that manner. Many man, who might
have been great on moderate thing, has
become nothing on big one. II you
want to succeed in any matter, just stick
10 that which is in your power.
Gold mines have been discovered in
Bridgewater, VT. and the Woodstock Age
is of the opinion that they will class with
the richest ever discovered.
There is a town in Monona county,
Iowa, called Preparation, in which is
published two newspapers, and yet it is
50 new as not yet TO have obtained post
office. The Council Bluffs Eagle is our
authority.-Ddu. Gar.
Death, though certain. and the most
tremendous even; that can occur to man,
is, Notwithstanding far less thought of by
him than are dollars and cents, or the
fluctuations Of the stock market.
Sammy my boy, what are you crying
fort bill throwed the Bible at me aud
hit me on the head. Well You are the
only one in my family on whom the BIZ
bic ever made the least impression.
What men want is not talent !, is pur-
pose in other words not the power 10
achieve but the will TO labor.
Why are mosquitoes the most religious
of all insectsl Bekase they first sing
over you and then prey on you.
Do good, says the Hungarian proverb,
and throw it in the sea. The fishes will
not know i, but God will.
A thief being caught robbing a bank,
when asked what he was doing, answer
ed-Only taking notes.
A hospital for the cure OF wooden legs
has just been opened in Buffalo.
A fellow in Iowajumped SO high the
other day, that he says he saw the dog
star wag his tail.
ALL GoNE--All the family Of the la ,e
General Taylor, who occupied the White
House are dead the noble General him
self. his wife, his daughter, Mrs. Bliss
and Col. Bliss. Mrs. Fillmore and daugh
ter are also dead.
CosvALEscxsr.-Go Bigler, who
was reported to be in dangerous condi-
ton from illness, a few days ago, is said
10 be eonyalescent.
Solitude and society are the two great
magnets which attract mankind-and both
have exclusive claims to merit and both
have their votarles.
Control your thoughts while in retire
ment, your tongue while In company.
The man who tried to ge; up concer,
with the band of his hat, is the same ge-
MUS who a few weeks since played upon
the affections oil a yong lady.
The young lady who let down the
window curtain 10 keep the man in the
moon from seeing her IN her night clothes
has been seen In church with q hole III
her ctocking.
BE wise for in the gaining Of Wis
dom We also gain an eminence from which
no shaft Of envy or malice can huIl ye.
ey A negro Baptist out south, used this ar
guneat 10 convince his Methodist minister Of
his error: "You'ye read the Bible, s'pose?'
''Yes.o "Weil, you've read in il OF John the
Baptist, hasn't youg'' yes" "Nell, you new
ar saw any thing about john the Methodist, did
youg' .'No." "Weil, den you see, dare's Bap-
sts in de Bible, but dare aint 10 Methodis.s !;
and de Bibles on nv side"