Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1854-07-05
A Leaf from Fanny Fern.

great nuisance, clerks are impertinent; fe-
minity victimized. Miserable day, too; mud
plastered an inch thick on the side walk
| Well, if we drop our skirts, gentlemen cry
sSUgh;'' if we lift them from the mud they level
| their eye-glass at our ankles. The true def
ntion of a gentleman (not found in compleate
Webster is-a biped, who, of muddy day,
| is pefectly oblivious of any thing but the shop
signs.
Viva la France! Ingenious Parisans, send US
over your clever invention-a chain suspen-
ded from the girdle, at the end of which is a
gold hand to clasp up the superfuous length
of our promenading robes, thus releasing our
human digits and leaving them at liberty to
wrestle with rude Boreas for the possession of
the detestable little sham bonnets, which the
milIiners persist in hanging on the backs of
our necks.
Well, here We are at Call& Ketceum's dry
goods store. Now comes the tug of war; let
Jobs mantle fall on my feminine shoulders.-
s<Have you blue silk?
Yardstick, entirely ignorant Of colors, after
fifteen minutes snail-like research (during
which time stand impatiently on one l-imb)
hands me down silk that is as green him
self
Oh away with these stupid mascul ne clerks,
and give us women, who know by intuition
what we want, to the imense saving of our
lungs and leather, patience and prunella!
ssHere's Mr.. Timathy Tapes establishment"
:sHave you any lace collars (points7 Mr..
Tape7''
Mr. Tape looks benefcent, and shows me
some rounded collars, 1 repeat my request in
the most pointed manner for pointed collars.
Nr. Tape replieswith apatronizing grim
s.Pcints is out, ma'am.''
So am ID
Dear me, how tired my feet are Neverthe-
less, 1 mnst have some merino. So opened
the doorspf Mr.. Humbug's dry goods store,
which is about half mile in length, and in
qured for the desired article. Yong Yard
stick directs me to the counter at the extreme
and arrive there lust ten minutes ucror e--S''os
nv my repeater when I am told that they ''are
ou;te ont of merinoes-but wont Lyonese
cloth do as well ?'' rush out in high state OF
frenzy. and taking refuge i'll the neXt-door
neighbour, inquire for some stockings
Whereupon the clerks inquire(of the wrong
customer1 s.what price I wish to pay f'' vi
course am so verdant as to be caught III that
trap and, tetotally disgusted with the entire
institution of shopping, drag my weary ilnps
into-new saloon to rest.
Bless me, what display of gliding and girls,
and gingerbread! What heap of mirrors
| There's more than one Fanny fern IN tue
| world. I found that out since came In.
| ssWhat will you be pleased to have - J-u-i-
| Jus Caesar! look at that whlte-apronea
waiter pulling out his snuff-box and taking
pinch of snuff right over that bowl OF white
| sbugar that will be handed in five minutes 10
sweeten nv tea And there's another comb
ing his hair with a pocket comb over that dish
| ofoysters.
..What will have!'' Starve-but I'll have
nothing till l can find cleaner place than TINS
to eat in.
| Shade of old Pau. Pry Boston what do
hear, Two Cwen. I declare I am not shure
whether they. are ladies women.1 L dom
understand these New York feminlnltles.-
At any rate, they've got on bonnets, and arr
telling the walters to bring them 'sa bottle O
Marasehine de Zara, some sponge cake, anf
some brandy See them sip the cordial II
their glasses with the gusto of an old topper
See their ey es sparkle and their checks flush
and lust hear their emancipated little tongue
90! wonder if their husbands know that they
but of course they don't. However, 1t is 81
of one and half dozen of the other. The.
are probably tur ming, down sherry-cobbier
and eating oysters at Florence's and their poo
hungry childern-while their parents are dain
tyizing-are coming home hungry from schoo
to eat fragment of dinner picked up at hom
by lazy set of servants.
, Heigho! ladies slipping wine in ,,,uplic So
: loon7 Pilgrim rock! hiiaae yourself unde
5 ground: Well - IS very shocking the numbe
of ma.S1ried women who pass their time ruinin
/ their health in these saloons, devouring Far
sian confectionery and tainting their Children
I blood with an appetite for strong drink
n Oh, what a mockery of home must theirs bt
: Heaven pity the Children reared there, left
the chance training of vicious hirelings!
~I amt going to be called printer
!, devil any Ionger-no amt, exclaimed o
\ Flibstee the other day, in a terrible pucke
II well what shall we call you-hey?' 'Wh
ID call me typographical spirit of evil, if v
a. please; that's ALL