Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1854-03-04
The Bachelor and the Babv,

The Bachelor and the Baby.
{ There was no one at home except baby's
f mother, and baby, and Baby had just
gone to sleep, when baby's mother remem.
bered a trihing commission which she had
. promised to execute for me in the village
With an injunction to touch the cradle if
baby awoke, she departed, leaving me
proud of my new employment, and iulleo
by past immunity into state of fatal secu-
rity. History is full of similar examples.
With one eye on my book, and the other
on the cradle, like faithful watchdog, |
listened to the retreating football that should
have warned me, but did not, to look out
for squalls" | had no idea of the awful
responsibility which had taken upon my
self, or should have shrunk from it as
cat does from water, or mastift from
churning machine. In fact, | rather sus-
pect that felt, in trifling degree, ambi-
tious that baby should open one eye-only
one-that mi ght have the pleasure of shut
ting it again. Unwary mortal! How little
do we know when we are we'll off! My
ambition was but too soon to be gratifiedE
l had yet to learn by bitter experience how
weary is the lot OF those who-tend on
babies. -a..
I i WOUueF wuctucf iuldtts DIE COIiSt1OuS
in their sleep of their mothers absence,
and know that an opportunity has arrived
for " cutting up their didoes?'
The badly: over whose slumbers I had
become the guardian genius-how the flies
as any baby could be when its mother de-
parted: but no soccer had her shadow faded
from the room than symptoms Of wakeful-
h..~ IN Lrrof 0orou n n
than a chuckle, that said, as plain as
chuckle could say, "Now for some fun )"
then one opened and shut, and then both
began peeping about till the head seemed
inclined to bob off the pillow. "t
felt little nervous at these symptoms
only little. .Poh =; said to myself,
"a roll or two of the cradle will soon settle
your business, youngster." But it did not
Baby was bound to have spree. 1t knew
that "its mother was out" That big,
bothersome blue-bottle-ay, too, tired of
watching for the ship over the clock face,
started on voyage Of discovery on its own
account, and the first promotory which it
reached was the nose of the baby, tempt
ing spot, upon which it landed for refresh
ments, buzZing most villanous as it did so.
Ii was ticklish landing, however, and baby
soon drove it off with sneeze that aston
ished its nerves, and mine: too, more than
1 the hy's, for the fly was accustomed to tick
lish situations, which was not Baby was
thoroughly reused. Up went its round,
chubby arm; but rock of the cradle soon
4 sent that back to its place. did rock that
cradle beautifully. The little head rolled
4 TO and fro as easily as if it had been fast
ened on by toy mandarin's neck. ri could
4 not help admiring myself for the way in
which did it, and | am sure that any
reasonable baby would have gone to sleep
again, if only for compliments sake; but
the baby in the cradle didn't. The moment
the rocking ceased, up popped the little
head, like Judy's in the show, with small
peevish cry. That cry! it was like the
:: fixing of the fuse" OF a powder magazine,
sure 10 end in an explosion.
Were YOU evr reused in the middle of the
night bv The maid-of aIl-work coming in her
slippers and nieht-cap to inform you that
the house was on fire? Did you ever stand
near Dutchman who was weighing gun
powder with lighted cigar in his mouth ?
Did you ever stand over the boiler of a Mis-
| sissippi steamboat, aud expect every mo-
| ment to be landed on the tree-tops half
| mile inland? If not. you canno, conceive
my horror when heard that cry. was
in cold perspiration from head 10 foot
! have no doubt that hail-stones as big as
| peas might have been picked off my fore
| head. l rocked for dear life, aud BABY
| bounced about Ikea ball of india-rubber.
But it was all useless. sang all the songs
| that could think Of, from the cabalistic
Hushaby ~ to Cease rude Boreas' |
tried tenor, and tried bass; but the baby
did not know the difference. 1t seemed to
think it all base. The louder sang: the
louder it cried. 1t was bawl and squall
and squall beat. The cry peevish became
the cry indignant, and cry indignant be-
came the squaIl imperative. Bue-bot'le
buzzed with delight, and danced hornpipe
on the window, while the clock kept up
tantalizing Go it! go itw
In an unlucky moment, lifted the little
tempest out of the cradle. Never, never,
never will | commit such an act of thought
less imprudence again Before | did SO, l
could have truly sung with with the poet,
&C. The white squall raves but afterwards
the fiercest blasts of Boreas seemed beching
from the little throat.
In the, throat Of quoting the tornado. !
took it in my arms, waddled it to and fro
the room ). tossed it up and down till my
shoulders ached; handled it on my knees,
now the right one; now the left; but nothing
would do. Like an easterly gale, that mu!-
tipled squall seemed to be endless. | felt
really alarmed, was completely terrified.
I saw visions of CONFUSION and such-like
ills that infant (" flesh is heir to-" i'll had
been in the city, am sure that crowd
would have collected. might have been
taken up and accused Of an attempt to com
nit neutrality-suspicious. been published in
the papers as wretch guilty Of cruelty to
dumb animals. Dumb! How wished that
the dear family organ had been dumb! l
even envied the deaf men that pick up
cinders.
3 I looked at the clock and exclaimed, in
despair. .When will the mother returnw
and the clock answered, with knocking mon
otony, Not yet! not yetW BIue-bottie had
ceased its buzzing, and returned to its old
quarters over the dial-plate, 10 watch for
The reappearance Of the ship; perhaps
asking, as impaiiently as did, the question
when will she return ~ while the clock,
continued to repeat, Increasingly, Not yet!
not yetw Sil....E5.s q =
I knew not what to do, and rushed a
dozen times to the door, hoping to see the
coming relief But the walls of the distant
oh.,rnh end TN, sh~,,e ebovcud xrorn Thick