Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-03-16

~ The morctyoa do for some felix's tho
iaar5 yeu are aa6net-and very 'browR" at
fAat bra great f1YOrfor some one to day,
and tomorrow the ungrateful dog will Be
ready to annihiate you for net doing more.
Thero il 10 moro gratitude inside of somo
folk,Sribs than sincerity in aniser's ssrl.
81 rs What's tie matter there, Cora; aon,t
sour sbees fit eNe, papa they don't fit
M at all said she And then she enumer.
atcd Az the faults VI the shoes in set terms,
an feaeheafhe climax, thus: HWhy they
don't even squeak when I walk cut 7
geA sailor once had a high dispute with
his wife, who wished him to the devil
tPlague on me, Peg, said be. 'if dent
think ! should fare pretty well with the cid
fellow, as married into his family
I-a0h, my friend" said doctor to an
Irish patient, "be ceRPOsedi We must all die
n lis that what veIes me, replied
Pat, Aif could die half dozen times, I'd
not care ha' penny about this time"
] The Boston Post says aThese are thir-
teen thousand marriageable girls newin the
Efaetcries Of Lowell Il is pleasant to know
in this.worldo Of misery that there are thir
teen thousand men yet TO DO made happy.
sgs.The Gaillotiaa was the frst attempt
al shaving by machinery It took eff the
| bsardsyery eleanlyi But there was . slight
objection to this invention; il invariably
took olE the head and beard together.
sssA nan being ssksd if he would like
ts~liYe forever, replied, that considering the
atsf6 Of the times, and the weakness Of ;the
froYernmeHt, be would not care about living
noret than one half Of IT,
fLssA fep introducing his friend, q plain
nlsn, in % company, said, 'Gentlenas, iii
ssslre you be is MOI 50 great feel IS he
sseesns
Ma, replied the gentleman, that j. the
difference between my friend and me-
tsp aople, says nOdern philosopher,
10 according to their brains Ii these lay
ia their head they study; if in their belly,
they eat; if ID their heels, they dance.
ns-An Irish girl being inquired of respect
ing der mistress, who had gone to = water
cure establishment, replied that her lady
ship hid gone to soak
g-A man Should never be ashamed to
oma that he had heea in the wfsng, whish
is hut saying in other verbs, he is wiser To-
day than he was yesterday.-Pope.
rA quaek scctsr in one sf his bills, J
said he could bring living witnesses 10 prsTe
The ctacscy Of his Restrum, (which is more
said lie. than others in M line can Do
Tigers vou't lie, will they T. nutter-
Ca sseay genius, holding on to lamp
post 'Neu, perhaps they ven'E but Il
iigger as Won't stand anyhow
There are two languages that are
universal, tho language Of love, and the Ian.
guage efmoney; the girls understand the enc
and tie men the ether all the wide veFld
over
10 We sheald give as We Neuld receive,
quickly, and without hesitation
for there IS no grace il aheseftvhieh sticks
10 tie fingers
duoing baby thai weighs one pound. lis
living aad IN apparently COED health. Its
firss bed was made q? o. common dinner
plate.
~ Dfawing mistake or prejudice cut
os Tia keal, is as painful as drawing tooth,
iaa4s tie patient never thanks the operator.
a slanderer Of the fair ser undertakes
10 Prove that Satan was ! woman nined
lucy Fir, tLucifer
reels mar not BE generally kneEn that
clstovs get ono important item Of subsist-
eats a very lsa Price--they get bsred for
nothing
- The Litery Society is new in fall blast
ouestior for nexf week. III man bailds
eara sfiP. does that give him right y crib
.csfnl