The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1854-11-01
VARIETY

DEAR DARLING.-A young and pretty
girl stepped into shop, where spruce
young man, who had long been enamored
Tut dared not to speak, stood behind the
counter selling dry gools. In order TO
remain as long a6 possible, she cheapened
everything; at last she said, 4 believe you
think | am cheating YOU
Oh, no. said the youngster, 'to me you
are always .tair.'
Well whispered the lady, blushing rs
she laid an emphasis on the word, Il
would not stay SO long bargaining, if you
were not so dear
a teacher one day endeavorinp TO
make pupil understand the nature and
application of passive verb, said: "A
passive verb is expressive of the nature of
receiving an action, as Peter is beaten.'-
Now, what did Peter do =
well, don't know answered the boy.
Pauslng moment with great gravity, 'he
hoilered.'
Rs- We have discovered proof posi-.
tive OF the existence of Know Nothing
organization in the year 33. In the ros-
pei of St. John, eleventh chapter, verses
4S aad 40, we read as follows:
And the Romans shall come and take
away both our place and nation
And one of them named Caiaphas,
being the high priest that same year, said
unto them, 'le know nothing at all
,Gs- The following cure for the gout is
taken from an rld work:
"First-The person must pick hand
kerchief from the pocket of a maid Of
fitty years, who has never had wish to
change her condition.
Sccond-IIe must wash j. in an honest
miller's pond.
IhIrd-He must dry il on parsons
hedge who was never covetous.
Fourth-He must send it to doctors
shop who never killed n patient.
Fltth--lle must mark it with lawyers
ink who never cheated a client.
SiSth-Apply it to the part affected,
and cure will speedily follow
@- Some idea may be formed of the
extent to which thieving is carried on in
San Francisco, from the fact that during
the month Of July the property stolen
amounted in all to about eight or ten thou
sand dollars.
~ The constitution Of the only mill
tary company ever attempted to be organ
lied in Nantucket, began with the follow
ing article:
Article l. In case Of war, this COM
pany shall Immediately disband.
EH The Chinese call prickinc con.
science hedgehog with all the horns
turned inwards.'
~ Il can marry any girl I please
said ayoung fellow, boastingly.
Very true,' replied his waggish COM
panon, for you can't please any
re- When you hear man ostenta-
tiously lamenting bis defective education,'
lis sign he thinks himself n devil of a
fellow, for all of that.
~ A young lady Of our acquaintance
is SO exceedingly modest that she will
wear no roses in her bosom, unless they
are blush roses. Her modesty exceeds
that of another young lady who refuses to
wear her watch in the same place, because
it has hands.
EE- Socrates being very old, and af
fictel With indisposilion, was asked how
he did.
Well he replied, either way; il Ire
cover, said lie, 4 shall be enyied by many.
II l die, | shall be praised by many
@ Why is drunkarJ like bomb
shell. Because tue moment he is out Of
reach he is 'on bust
EB- Many perse ms are now anxiously
examining the maps to find the seat Of
war Fubbs says he found it last SUM-
mer without map. The discovery was
made by sjtting down upon yellow
wasp's nest in hay field.
ET A German prince, in dream,
seeing three rats--one tat, the other lean, |
and the other Lhn1--sent for celebrated |
Bohemian gypsy, and demanded an expla-
nation.
The Eat rat, said the sorceress, lis your
minister. the lean rat your people, and the
blind rat younelfv 81
ET Chooss not your wives, as you do /
grapes, from the bloom on them.
Behold a sight worthy Of the Gods, a
good man eontcnding with an adyese
srtuus. a