The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1854-06-15
A MISSOURI WEDDING,

BILE influence, and the belle OF all the
country around, OF course the ellie of
the neighborhood were in attendance -
Everything was there, and erery,hing was
in apt readiness. ..6f
"The Royal Tigar was present thar,
And the Monkey and the Polar Bar"
Bat the dignitary, to whom it was de.
signed to assign the honor Of master Of
the marriage ceremony, had not yet ar
rived. ButjuSt then some one spoke and
said
There comes Squar Ben Buncum.'
Quick the lights were trimmed and ev-
erything put in place. As usual, agita
ton, anxiety, and joy were depicted on
every face, and Mr.. Tom Wisdom, the
honorable host, walked out to meet the
anxious Squar' to welcome him in--in.
quire for his health-the news, &c.
The 'Squar was a good humored gen
tleman, but he was chiefly celebrated for
talents, astuteness, learning, &c, in his
populous township.
well, said the host, Ben, you have
been elected, but you had a close time Of
| it my vote alone saved you. You beat
him but one vote Only.'
THAT is all, Tom, replied Squar Ben
But the next election I'll lick him.
There's no use in talking, Mr.. Wisdom,
without using the corr freely, and a
little sly Stander and Iying-that's all the
chance
'Ah, well, that's all over, and you are
the magistrate, Squar Ben, so come let's
60 in and see what the young folks wish.
Indeed, Squar Ben, are you aware that
you are expected to sag the ceremonyP
Benjamin Buncum now began to see the
awful responsibility of his office, and to
'trcmble from centre to cumference,' for
he had never before ofliciated in that in.
teresting capacity. They had not done
him the justice to even inform him of the
part he was expected to perform, or he
could have prepared. He had made no
preparation-had no form--nor could any
book be found, high or low, containing
the marriage ceremony. Hence, to take
it off hand, was the only chance. An
unfortunate and excruciating test for the
newly y-elected 'Squar.'
The company was now arranged into
crescent. The 'Squar' was at his place,
and in came the parties principles and
seconds--the gallants each bearing can
die, which evinced the extent and luxuri-
ant range in that neighborhood. With
much assurance and dignity, the 'Squar'
looked around, and while ages of learn
ing seemed to be rushing through his
mind. He thought over everything he
had dreamed, but all in vain. There was
suppressed litter all over the house. -
This admonished him, he must say some
thing, and, in an agony Of desperation,
he began
The State of Missouri, county, I
command you to-
This did not suit. Confusion and whis-
pering perplexed him still more.
Give him chance--give the Squar a
chance said strong voice from the door.
The 'Squar' made another effort
BE it enacted by the General Assembly
of the State of Missouri
The 'Squar' was again admonished, by
tittcring, thathe must proceed with some
thing. In agOnizing desperation he be-
gan
when in the cours events
it becomes-'
Here he was touchS Wisdom.
After pause he began
Our Father who art IN Si7eaven-'
'He's repeating the Lord 'sprayer, says
one. The 'Squar' raised his hopeless
vision to the ceiling for short time and
began anew
know all men by these presents---'
Here he was interrupted by general
noise, and voice from the crowd-'He
is writing deed Again he essayed--
Witness my hand and SEAL this, the
HAS concluded it--he will certainly go
on with the ceremony said several vol
ces.
In the name of God, amen, he began
again. Laughter from every direction !;
some swearing. .......
He is making his will said one, 4
thought he would not live long he looks
prodigiously sad The next essay Of the
noble and learned 'Squar' was
'oh, yes oh, yes come into court
and
Are VIC to have court. tonight? 2 ejac
ulatcd some one. ....
'Oh, yes! come into court replied
another, from the door. The laughter
was general. .....
1t may be supposed the bride and her
partner were somewhat hOrS de combat,
especially the former, but water and suit
able aromatics were--Rear and 'Squar
Buncum was her friend and near by
hc was an untiring man and, after cast
ing his eyes around the room, he deter
mined to try again:
TO the Constable or any other lawful
officer. Greeting
Lets 60 He's going to have us all
arrested said several. Then followed
much confusion and dispeasurc. Here a
CLEAN of light flashed over the 'Squar's'
bewildered and forlorn countenance. He
ordered the parties positively to hold up
their right hands, and in solemn voice
he said
you ana each of you, do solemnly and
truly swear, in the presence of the pres
ent company, and of the President of the