The Ohio union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1849-1854, 1854-02-01
5tissam9s,

"a Nv 4 UC tudI NuO was - lObtctt '1 4
to open a new promenade saloon.
~ let Thy child's FIRST lesson be ODE
dience, and the second may be what thou
wili.-Euiirr. c,lsli .iif"
~ Why is a melancholy young lady
the pleassnlest of all companions! BE-
cause she is always amusing.
70" Do you see anything ridiculous
in this wig7" said a brother Judge to
Currsn. Nothing but the hesd,' he
replied. "a
C5'"I have very LITTLE respect for the
lies Of this world" as the chap said when
the rope was around his neck.
" Why DO reptiles multiply so rap.
idly Because there are SC many ad6ers
amongst them. ~
70 Mrs. Narris says what puzzles her
is, where The sailors gel their fresh breezes
from salt wafer. i...1 40
~ A tailor, who in shaiing fell through
the ice declared that he weuld never again
leave a hot goose for a cold duck.
fF NtE aG.tN
rc The old lady that used 10 dry her
clothes on the equinoxial line, has gone 10
Greenland to get the north pole to draw
cislern water with
" The man who made a 81 ee for me
foot of a moun,nin, is now engaged on a
hat Tor the head OF a discOrrse-alter
which he will manufacture a plume for
General Intelligence. J t-. a.g
rS A melting sermon being preached
in a country church, all the congregation
were weeping. except one man, who
begged to be excused, as he belonged to
another church.
~ The man who earns his living by
the sweat of his brow" complains that
it is hard times Just now, when the mer.
curry is getting down towards IL eros.
"a SyLLooIsa.-David was a Jaw ;
hence, The Harp Of David, was a Jews
harp. Ques,ion-How The deuce did he
sing his psalms and play on it at the same
time !"
~ A sporting "gen,," who has cour.
ageously entered the lists" al several
betting houses, has lately purchased an
elaborate work on " Entomology" in con.
sequence az his having heard that il will
give him much information on the subject
Of traces"
n A merchant examining a hogshead
Of hardware, on comparing it with the
invoice, found ii all right except a hammer
less lhan the invoice. oh! don't be
troubled, said the Irish porter, suite the
nagur toOk it out 10 open the hogshead
with
II Some profane cynic, having no feaI
OF Cupid before his eyes, has sent US the
following villainous parody ::
Love is a nightmare with one loot;
Two children with one bun;
Two luruips with a single root;
Two cabbage heads as one!
TASTE OF TURNIps.-0c all the differ.
ent means 10 prevent the taste Of turnips
in milk and butter, the following appears
to promise one of The best, and may be
adapted by those who have an apparatus
for cooking food for animals: Boil OF
steam the turnips, mix them with cuI
straw or hay, and with a portion Of mill
feed or with pea or bran meal.
~ DO not triae with the affections Of
young ladies. They are institutions the,
were never established for any such pur-
pose. If you do not contemplate mar
riage certificates and the parson, French
bedsteads, a $500 rent house, and pros.
p%ecliye home for the old folks, just take
your hat and leave. You have no more
right to 90 on irihing with conGding calico,
Than a hollyhOck has 10 pass itself Of as
a sweet rose.
~ The other day DR.. SIS three
children while playing in the nursery, de-
cided 10 have a railroad excursion. Sc
they all mounted up into the crib and com
menced rocking full speed. Alter a while
il was proposed 10 have an accident. think
ing, | suppose, it would be questionable
to travel without one. So they all took
hold and tipped The crib over by mair
force, sud little Mary broke her arm shor
olf.
B. went 10 see her, and was pity
ing her very much with her helpless AM
bandsged arm, when Mary sad:
We'll! il ever l get well III sue III,
company for $4,000 damages! | thiDI
that will be enough, for father says il ain
any very great affair after ALL"
That is the best sarcasm on the presen
{ state of railroads that | know Of.
She Is The same little young one, (sev
, en- years old. who said Of her little broth
; er Joe, who is a great ieaze. that he wish
: ed our heavenly father either hadn't mad
her or her brother Joe-it didn't max
F, any difference which.
. A Coon ANEcDorE.-A correspondent
lrnm Indiana aanha us lhe Enllnwina will