Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-01-05
VARIETY.
uFAn Ark

IL lO4 ~ l. =
m-Ant Arkansas volunteer in the Mexi-
can war, riding on horseback, came aeToss
an Illinoian, who was shot in the leg 4 The
Illineian teId him where he was wanpded,
aad- suggested to be taken up and ceRgeyed
out!of danger Arkansas placed him on be-
hind the saddle, and fastened him te' him
self.with leather strap. While theY were
fastening from danger, grape saet took
tnlinos" head of; but Arkansas thbnght
he lad only tainted from fatigue ana pain.
When safe place was arrived at. thesForse-
man releasing his charge, and seeiAg his
head was gone, BIO exclaimed .WelHIthese
Illinoians are the d--st liars. Hersiis
rascal with his head of when he tolasme he
was only shot in the leg You cant believe
word thesefellows say
ns-.Look' ere said a-tipsy indiIidual,
who was hanging by lamp post, ledk#iere,
didn't you knoy that you'd no right ~ 60
by me in that syl #ffi
] why not my friend ? asked the person
addressed, who recognized in the 'tigsf un'
an cld5aequaintance s8
-hie-hie-it's sgsnt the
law Hill
Against theIaw fIsBH
why, you used to know Bill INelscn,
when be vas - highly different individual
10 what he now is,-and there's Eig law
.agip passing an altered BIZ 7 Ilif
nfLOok heah, sambo, you got ddS'quar
ter dollar you owes me2 It'll
La, Cuff, no; money so scarce, sol nanT
stepperages in Mobile, there amt no money
: in circumlatien
20. sho, Sambo, what de nation you got to
do with Mobile Niger, pay up. paEup 7
well, lock heah, Cuff, inc hear massa tell
more dan twenty Dat same tale; and Il Amt
~. - = .los..e.s ss-.-s I..- a. ~
At like . gentleman if you is Niger
"An Irishman was brought Vi Before
late magistrate Of East Riding on alehargs
: Of vagrancy, and was thus questioned
,'What trade are SouT
'Shurc, you honor, now I'm sail, Fater
sailor
'You in the seafaring life qhsstion
whether you have ever been to sea is.ysur
life II. RSE
.Shure, new, and does your honor sthink
came over FROM cid Ireland in wagsn T.
Commit him. I.H
E1-A Young miss accepted the sffer Of a
young man to gallant her home, and after.
! wards, fearing that Jokes might be cracked
at her expense, should the fact be comepub-
lie dismissed him about half way honci en-
joining seeresy. 4
,Don't DO afraid. said be, 'ef my saying
anything about it, fsr | feel as much shAmed
oft as you do s
HS-Alady, being in want Of a cook#afew
days since, published an advertisements in
the Philadelphia Ledger, and was waited on
by any quantity Of ladies wanting Situations.
Amongst them was one who,en being asked
ssme questions, cut them short with
Never mind about me, marin, let mo see
FIRST if the place will suit me, then yon can
inquire about me afterwards
H-A tinpenny, your honor exclaimed
a sturdy beggar, at a stage coach door in Ire
land, to Scotchman with fiery ringleis, but
who was quite insensiblc to the appeal; a
fpponny, yeur honor; fppenny, Or a>psn-
ny,or halfpenny, please ye.' Finding
the Sect insxorahle, the beggar altered bis
tone, and said, suill your homer plase 70 lend
mo q lock of your hair to light my pipe
WITH
EsrA man whom DR.. johnson repreved
for following auseless aad demoralizing bus
iness. said, IN his excuse I'll
You know, Doctor, that must live
I To this, the brave old hater Of every thing
mean aud hateful, replied
! do not SEQ the. absolute necessity Of
that :
HsrA boy, whose general appearance be-
tokened the want Of fathers care, being
asked what his father followed for living,
replied
sHe is methodist by trade, bu. hc don't
work at Il any more.
n1siI say, my little son, where does. the
right hand rcSd got
II don't know sir faint been nowhere
since we lived hers
HrThero Is 1 captain in the navy resid-
+ ing 10 this city, who writes two hands--ous
be eanuos real himself, aud the5othtr no
>.sns else can.
ErWheneyer you fnd yourself il ecu
many With man who is constantly asking
you 70 treat. the best thing you caa DO is to
retreat
Rfhe man who earns bis living By the
sweat Of his brow, complains that ID ID hard
times just nov, when the mercury is getting
down towards the zefss
EeWhy i man vke commits an a..
sanlt, like beck With torn cegeri
Because be sheeld b bound ezex.
.ES,A man can't help What Is dens behind
bis back as the loafer said when he vas
kicked out Of the door.
EPThs speaker uho set his hearers IN
iorspturess is partner IL veil kncznjeE-
esry establiskuenE
"a Sa.jpt Old writer del.ss sgesisn