Columbia gazette., 1854-02-18

ia TheDa fnlXgette or Anna Anhabel
Anthony would deign to accept the
rough paw of the uncouth and unsophis-
ticated Hezekiah Of Doughnut Mills
Onionville, D. d! Heavens the bare
thought of SO outrageous a thing was suf-
dcient to stamp one an a-ignoramus
in the matters and things perlite.-
What! eity-bred dam( n )selQ is, with mu-
steal names and long purses have any
thing to do with this plebian! Pshaw
Still Hcz and Hez's marm had no such
fears Of his ultimate triumph; he certain
ly could not fail to make very decided
impression upon one or the other, and
he DID-upon both. Hcz, in his bran
fired new suit of home snadc fustian, left
the parental roof with hopes and pal
pitating heart, end off he hastencd 70.
tic temporary domieil Of his fair manor
a:os-in inagination-But his soul w;l.;
not SO fearless, nor his resolution SO
strong as he at first supposed, for more
than once did he pace up and down III
front Of the mansion, with one eye over
his shoulder, ere he would muster suffi-
ciCnt courage to raise the knocker upon
the door Csusisss glance homeward
and discovering his marm peeping over
her 'specks and watching the indecisio,,
ofhis step, he raised the knocker, whe,,
his call was answered by a walk in sir,
and in a moment more Hez was in the
presence of his VICTIMS. If we may be
allowed to judy ye from the awkwardnesS
displayed in dispes,ng Of his neither
contii uations, his bread hooks ami tile,
tie, &C., bis situation was anything but
enviablc. The maidens were riggcd out
in their best goto meeting togs, sitting
As prim as wax-work, to say not word
of the musk, cologne and other aromat-
les, and understanding vapors that EN-
anatcd from the deep folds Of their rich
silks and costly laccs. They received
llczckiah with city grace, and offered
him seat with deal of gravity, Which
kinder disconccrtcd, and took him
aback.
'Hccw dyer dew:' were the first
words.
Pretty well thank you; how is Mrs
Smith to day:''
sos to be j"ggin, blcegcd to you;
how's yer folks;'
Suppose sir tha. they are well; have
not heard from Them for week"
'Sheow! Hrow WI tork. Haven't
heerd from 'cm for week; Wal, that
beats all natur pnsscsed. Heow, heow
du We git along 'thout herein;
'Oh, very well, sir. No doubt they
arc well
Pine day, yeou; goods they haye il
NJ Iourak, haint it"
Yes, Mr.. Smith, the weather is as
hsre as can be found anywhere
Tell yeou, this erc'll put the corr
thru SUM-
Should think so
Wal twill, yeou'd better bleye
Heow is corn out Your way
Cannot say; have never seen any
| growing there
Meow git eout, will ye: never seed
no corn CROWN; shaow, how We fork
You worn't razed on farm nor xofiiin
was We, hay.'
no sir; nor never saw any corn grow
ing.
'jE-RU-sA-LEM! That's buster, gals
| rather more,n / kin swaller.'
AT this stage of the proceeding Hea
commenced a furious snulling and sneez-
flag, and writhing of his face as though
a very unpleasant eff'nvia came in disa
grceable contact with his olfactory or
tgans.-fle hitched and looked round,
land snutfcd, and moved his chair nearer
|isae ladies, but was unable to discover
from whence came the unpleasant smell.
AT last one Of the ladies spoke:
| 'Are you unwell, Mr.. Smith:' ~
I UNwELL! the d! shall FAINT in
Etu minits.'
/ 'Why, what is the matter, sir:' Are
you subject to faiiltness::'
Subject to SKUNK! can't ye smell
him,'
No, sir; we experience NO aisagreea-
bic smell.
JE-Ho-sE-pHAT. Heow strong it
Gums, gals cant ye smell:'
why, no. Your ollactory nerves
must be very delicate.'
'Olfactory thunder and lightuin! 1t
smell like MUsKqsuAsH, and looking un-
der the table he discovered very beau
tiful dog. ooh! yeou old tarnal! I've
found ye at last, a stink-a smellin there
like fury; git eout, yeou tarnal critter;
come along here, you omitigated old
rascal, and seizing the unoffending ami
NAL by the nap Of the neck, he threw
him furiously out of the chamber vim
dow, thereby utterly annihilating Phile-
na Pheba Phigget.e's pet puppy-the