The Cedar County advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1856, 1854-08-05
Atfms.

~ ~ uto.
The boy who licked his chops is sup
posed to have little belligerent blood in
his veins.
The fellow who got intoxicated with
delight, has been turned out of the tenn
perance society.
Children and chickens must always be
picking.
A Judges duty is to snub the counsel
on both sides, and bother the jury by fur
Wishing them a third method of looking
at the case.
The celebrated Andrew Marvel, in his
Ionical libel upon the press said Lead
when moulded into bullets, is not half so
mortal as when founded into types
A patent has been taken out a, Cairo
for cleaning fish. by giving them snuff,
when they sneeze their scales of.
Pdducoh Journal.
Add one Of Cook pills internally, and
it'll take out the rest.-Eudnspilte Jour.
At Cincinnati there is crazy Irish.
man who daily and continuously walks
around the crthedral, with loaded cane
belt, and sword, and feather in his hat.
He claims to be special Waterman from
God, to guard the cathedral and the bish.
ops house from being attacked by protes-
tant heretics.
Waiter, I'll take my hat said a gen
tleman at party one evening, as he was
about going home.
What kind Of hat did you wearl'
"A bran new hat, tina, paid ten dol
lars for this morning.
Well SIR said the waiter, all the good
hats have been gone more than two
HSTo see delicate woman over a
vash-board rubbing clothes from morn
ing till night, and heroulian gentleman
measuring out rolls Of lace and delicate
ribbons, would make Il Pawnee Indian
augh at our assumption of chivairy.
The catcrpillars are committing great
ravages about Boston. Entire orchards
have been stripped of their verdure. and
are as brown as tho fire had run through
them. In the vicinity of New York the
pest is equally severe.
TRY Ir.-Some one says Just be-
fore going to bed, eat two pigs feet and a
cold PIE. In less than an hour you will
see snake larger than a hawser, devour
eight blue haired children, which have
Just escaped from monster with sorrel
eyes and red hot overeoat
Our boy William, who believes that
England and France will eventually be-
tray Turkey, says, that they are only
stufsing Turkey that they may have a
good feast OF il When prepared.
A gentleman who had rather a tar,
wife, asked nef one day AT taole if she
could give him some preserves. No, |
cannot, said she, bat should like to give
you your desserts.
a BAcxsLrDra. Married, Mr. An
drew Horn. TO Miss JuIia Parker. Presi.
dent OF the Young Ladies Temperance
Society.
Fair Julia lived a temperate maid
Preached temperance duties nj ght aud morn
Bu: still her Wicked neighbor- said
SIZE broke her pledge and took a HoaS.
Queen Victoria has established school
for her out of door servants at Windsor,
and Tor some time nearly every day oc-
erPes herself in teaching from he Bible,
seating herself on fora for Tat pur-
pose.
You have destroyed my piece Of
mind, Betsy, said a despairng lover to a
truaut lass. 1t can, do much harm,
John, for twas an ainazln small piece
you had any how
A widow oaee said to ner daughter,
when you are at my age, ii will be time
enough TO dream Of husband. Yes.
mamma, re?Iied the though.lees girl, for
second time The motaer tainted
A CHEcK os ARIsrocRAcy.-I; is
said thai Robert Schuyler, whose frauds
have made 50 much excitement IN finan-
clal circles, Is grandson oil General
Schuyler. Of Revolutionary memory, and
nephew to Alexander Hamilton. He
has other connexions with some OF the
oldest and most respectable families ii
the United States.
NATIONAL coURTEsY-The locomo.
tive winch arrived at Windsor on Ia,
evening OF the Fourth with the passenge
train over the Great Western road, wa
decorated with the Flag OF our Union,
which was borne through Canada, as
token OF respect for the citizens OF I'll
United States who were passengers.
is novel and pleasant fact to note, an
suggestive Of many things.
The best thing to take after being il
toxicated. A resolution never TO be ,ir
~ again.