Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1850-1854, 1854-02-10
A Lecture Addressed to My Bears.
BY AN OLD MAID OF THE WORLD.

My dearS, Love Is like Chanccry; 1t Is
deal easier to get into it than to get
out again. There are thousands Of WAYS
for the former, but as for the latter, it
can't be done noways.
Take my advice, my dears-never be
lieve n man before marriage, and never
trust him afterwards.
Ifmen, my dears were to pay, like SER
wants, for everything they broke, they
wouldn't be SO fond Of breaking their
hearts for every pretty girl they saw. The
fortune ola Rothschild couldn't stand, my
dears, against such a ruinous amount of
brcakages. Why, have known a mans
heart to break as often as an American
bank, and yet he would open the next
day with the same brass plate on his face,
on which you could plainly read "assur-
ance," and his heart would go on issuing
what becomes of all their bI,oken hearts,
| should like to know?
Where do they all go? Along with
the old moons ! suppOse-or they may be
keeping company, there's no knowing
where with all the pins that arel lost each
heart being stuck with pin, ike the GU
rious insects III museum.
There is no need to tell YOU. am sure
my dcars, about choosing husband. a
wonmn's instinct generally guides her in
those little matters But this will tell
you, that husbands differ as much as geese
but the softcst mind is not always the
worst. The softer your husband, the
more pliable you will find him, and all
the easier for YOU to twist him around
your little finger. If husbands trusted
more to theirwives and less to themselves,
there would be more happy marriages
but, until they learn what is due to our
sex and are fully prepared to pay it, that
happy balance will never eXistin a house
hold which, to the husband, should be the
source of as much pleasure as large bal
ance is at his banker's--but at present the
wife is not allowed to have any share or
interest in the one, or to participate in the
other.
I will conclude, my. dears with giving
you a few rules with regard to the choice
Of husbands i'll general, and though, my
dearS. | have never yentured on the Stor-
| my seas of matrimony myself" (here the
fair lecturers voice slightly trembed with
emotion, still | have watched from the
haven of single bleSsedneSs many of the
squalls and breezes that have taken place
on them. and have no small knowledge
from the numerous Shipwrecks have wit
! messed in consequence of them-and this
| knowledge am only too willing To inn
| part to all those who are anxious for the
| United States.
! | shall cOnfine my observations, my
dearS, to the very small circle of my eX-
perience of men, snch as | have studied
them round the tea-table.
fla man wipes his feet on the door
mat before coming into the room, you
may be sure he will make a good domes-
! tie husband.
If man, in snuffing the candles snuffS
them out. YOU may be sure he will make
a stupid husband.
If man puts his handkerchief on his
knees whilst taking his tea, you may be
sure he win be prudent husband.
In the same way always miStrust the
man who will not take the last piece OF
toast of Sally Lunn, but prefers waiting
! for the next warm batch 1t is not I'M
/ likely he viii make a greedy, selfish nus
band with whom youwill eIJoyn brown
1 at dinner, no crust at tea, no peace what
1 ever at home.
! The man. my dearS, who wears goloSh-
es and is careful about wrapping himScl
up well before venturing into the night
air. not unfrequently makes good inva
! lid husband that mostly stops at home
and is easily comforted with slops. ~
The man who watches the kettle ano
prevents it boiling over, will not fail, my
| dears in his married state, in exercising
the same care in always keeping the po
| boiling.
The man who doesn't take tea, ill-treat'
| the cat. takes snuff, and stands with hi
back to the fire. is brute whom | would
not advise YOU, my dears, to marry, upor
any consideration, either for love or mon
ey, but most decidedly not for love.
But the man who. when the tea is owe
is discovered to have had none. is sure L
make the best husband. Patience like
his deserves being rewarded with the best
| of wives. and the best of mothers-in-law
| Ny dears. when you meet with such
man, do your utmost to marry him. Ii
! the severeSt winter he would not mint
going to bed first"
There the lecturer concluded, and tn,
several young ladies retired to their re
[ spective avocations.
The mansion house ON the Mount Fer
non estate is now enc hundred and eiglT