The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1854-05-30
A RICH LETTER.
Algnnsce, May, 1851

| The following description of visit to the
Ohio State Agricultural Fair, we find in the
Portsmouth Qa.,) Tribune 1t is ono of the
best things we have read for a long timc:
Ono STATE FAIR, Dayton. Sept. ., '53
| MISTER TRIBUNE, HANNAs & CLIpPERs-
| DEAR SIR: We arc here on tho affair grounds
all well and hansum, close to the cylinder Bat
term Ram on one side, and tho Patent Cement
nan and Perpetual Squirtin' Jcnney OH the
other, and tho wimmcn gigglin', chickens crow
| in babios cryin' and policemen cnssin all a
| round us-hoppin you enjoy tho same blessin.
just MS the Scioto was going ont yesterday
Mr.. Taylor the gentlemanly clerk, saw us on
the Springvilc landing, and vcry perlitely stop
| ped the engine, reversed tho bilers till we got
! on. Next morning, wo wcre at Cincinnaty
and in few minutes was transported to the
cars. The cars is great sight Imagine all
the one story houses in Portsmouth tied to-
gether, and behind them fastened all the sta
blcs and pig pens-and then people at the
windows, and team running off with the
whole procession, and you will know little
how they look
While tho Captain on tho platform was
screwin' his wheel and the iron horse blowcd
their noses few times to get good start,
tried to get some gingerbread for Jeemes. -
But Just as handed over my quarter and the
boy reached out tho refreshments, the cars
started. | perhcly asked tho spider legged
conductor at tho wheel, if he wouldn't stop
and let me rectify, but ho only unscrowed and
went tho faster, saying he guessed I'd been ta-
kin too much of tho rectifed already Mr..
Hams, my blood billed, and if il had not been
that tho striped painted sarpent had to do all
the screwn for the hull train to keep tho cars
from running off the track Ia knocked him off
tho mashoen My wife Sary Gump, and Ke-
siah Gump, my ncphcw, was both afraid Id
break tho cars or tear my clothes.
At Zcny, they stopped to eat bito and
change bilers. and hadn't got down more
.han or four cups of coffee and plato of bis
kot, when seed n man at tho head of tho ia
BILE dashng out some kind of gravy or soup
So thinks that's the soup. .erintendent and he
is the man to toll of concerning that striped
pant cuss. While tho wimmcn got on the car.
and the crowd hustled, slipped up to the soup
man andtold him how Id been treated. lie
seemed like clever fellow. and tho more
sed, and tho maddcr got, the better Inc seem
ed to feel. Said he. il shall be right, and said
lets drink. We had just turned round to
tho bar and lifted tho glasses, when as said
Here is good luck to the rriroad Soup-somo
one holIcrcd out all aboardl' and away went
tho train swiftor than hungry hound docs to
dinner. All 'board thinks I--if thoy are not
all aboard, Phander Gump's badly perforated
anyhow.
lknowed il was plan Of the stripped pant
cd villain to leave mo, and determined If long
legs and a willing disposition would do any
good, to ovcrtake him. His steam was up and
so was my dander! and felt as though had
little locomotive in each leg of my panta
looms. / ran, / capcd, scratched gravel,
elongated and cxtenuatod; l dilated. dissi-
pated space: eopcd, l slopod, until natur'
slid by me like n panorama painted on light
ming. But il wouldn't do. ] havo seen tho
day whom could have passed him. before Per-
ay's Victory, but over since then the Eric sip
las has stifiened my joints. Sary and Jecmcs
and Kosiah waved thoir bandkorchiefs and
followed come on Philc! but laid down and
rollod over and sweat and swore on Con.
Washington in Philanders. Tho last thing I
seen was tho striped pants fading in tho dis
tanco until tho critters logs looked like two
great snakes.
Mr.. Hams, was so sizzen hot that if | had
been dipped into Ohio river Id taken tho chill
of the water from Pi tsburgh to Paducah? tho
very railroad stills smoked whom touched EN-:
and my pulse beat like tilt hammer in rol-
ling mill. But tho 2 o'clock train took mo OH.
and found tho rost Of my Gump family mt
tho Fonix house. Thoy said tho clerk told them
all tho rooms was full, but they could have one
long enough to change in so they have boon
changing over since; Kosiah said sho was
bound to keep changing all night but what
she would keep tho room. Raloy We have
seen all sorts of sights and besrn all sorts of
sounds. I'd like to toll you the half, but be-
tween drinking beer and Congress water, and
catin cakes and cheese aud harrin' aud tho
crackers and apples and peaches and pawpaws,
my heads worse conipusticatcd than crazy
monkeys and my ideas spin round like ftoth