The Sierra citizen., 1854-05-13
Sketches from our Cabin.
PHILEMON GLuMM, THE UNLUCKY HONBRE.


PHILEMON GLuMM, THE UNLUCKy HoNBRE.
A very shrewd chap was he who first
discovered that some are born with
wooden spoon in their mouth, and some
with golden ladle;" not that any juye-
nile has ever had the bad taste to make
his first appearance in society provided
with plebeian utensil of this sort, before
he ascertained whether the world Would
allow him porringer; but the meaning
of the text, as we take it, is that certain
persons come into the world with mouth
that is to become the receptacal Of coarse
fare, and very little Of that.
Never was this aphorism better exem-
plifed than in the case of Philemon
Glumnl, the unlucky hombre. Fortune
seemed to have sent him into the world
for no other purpose than to be kicked
and cuffed about; when in the nursery he
always walked up just in time to see the
last stick of molasses candy disappearing,
and always arrived from the playground
just as his maternal ancestor was about to
commence a series of manipulations for
the better preservation of order. At
school he was the victim of innumerable
conspiracies among the boys, who always
nsanaged to direct the attention of the
master to Philemon, when he was about
to begin the diurnal fagellation.
1t was while sitting in the ounces cor
ner, his back smarting with the lash, and
great salt tears of anger and shame trick
ling down his cheeks and dropping on his
spelling-book, that Philemon resolved to
be reyenged on the world. On that day
a cloud Of gloom and melancholy settled
ON his brow, and he became hopeless and
misanthropic, determining to live hereaf-
ter on the defensive, and present as many
many sharp points to the world as the
lTetiui porcupine.
After entering upon the great stage OF
life, "on which all the men and women
are merely players" Philemon Glumm
found that his was only subordinate
part, that he was to be scene shifter and
thunder and lightning manufacturer,
while others came in for the applause and
two shilling pieces. Some long-nosed
Yankee, with little gray eyes, always man
aged to victimize Philemon, and bring
him out debtor to sundries on the balance
sheet. Everything that he undertook
proved failure-everything that he
touched seemed to blight and wither in
his grasp, until he believed himself in the
power of an evil genius. The fountains
of life welled up nothing but muddy wa
ter, and even when drinking from the
mountain spring, he fancied that he could
taste the bitter dregs of disappointment
in the water that distilled from the rocks.
But at last a streak of sunshine fell
athwart his pathway. One evening while
sitting moodiiy on the doorstep, Philemon
observed pair of very bright eyes peep.
ing from an opposite window. Strange to
say, the shadow grew less dark on his
brow and the ice thawed away from about
his heart, and the upshot of the matter
was that Philemon Glumm, the 'unlucky J
hombre, became victim of the tender
passion. The next morning the sun shone
brighter than it ever did before, the rays
played about the hill tops, and then shot
down and danced on the little ripples in
the millpond. Philemon went forth with
an elastic step, the sky was bluer thar
before, and the little birds sang sweetly
from the willow tree. AS misfortunes
never come alone, so good luck generally
travels in company. 1t was rumored that
Phil, mon Glumm was about to fail heir
to snug little fortune that had been
accumulated by a Shylock of an uncle
who never had permitted his premises to
be invaded by any Of the juvenile G1umms
and the village gossips decided that Phi
lemon Glumm was worthy young man
and very proper associate for the young
ladies Of the village.
Ofcourse it required but short time
for the yonng lady with the bright eyes
to come to the same conclusion, for be il
known that in the aristocratic circles Of
Frogopolis young ladies were quite plenty,
and opportunities Of this sort were not to
be neglected. Philemon Glumm therefore
speedily became happy man.
d SI-I@~1p n 81