The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1854-08-12
NIAGARA rALLs.-DoEsrIcKs 81 ! arr.

| OksI1CKS ON BEN
The following. from DE NJ !.
ruscd "' nsve ever pc-
,. Dcar Editcr-l have been to Niagara. vo, -.
Indian curio.i.isss % Ss roens water fcsm Table Rock
SNAKES rapids, wolves Clifton House. s.ns,a. nIed
bridge, place where the wsfer runs s,;n Iu.ion
.an' ssrs. 4, and get the pain. washed o their fs
drt and make little bags where IN he ~ .ne
swindie strangers; where the cars 20 Ia : bnrrr
swear iaG----- .'Asess"ah e s"ah ooys
was wildly impressed with the idea that 4 ~:
some bridge tn fact, considerable curioei,v "a :
conssdera6e bridge-tooka glass fbeer and vs1r. 4
up 70 the FalIs--another glass of beer and .ise -
ine aus wanted another glass Of beer, but
| couldn't Get Il; walked away from the Falla Ne.
| tnrousn, mad triumphant, victorious, hnm5ucs
num0ug! SIR. all humbugi except the dabbline.. IS
every tning which s most certainty, and the en-.
Psoisy OF every body, which is diaboiical fact and
me lnoians and niggers every where which Il : Sa.
| Another glass of beer-twas fortbcom;n, ;ur,s.
| diateiy-also another, al of which drank then
paoceeaeo s 20 drink glass of beer, went over to
the states, where procured glass Of beer went
up stairs for which paid sixpence; over to 13ost
leland, tor which .dishursed TWENTY-FIVE cents-
hired guide, to whom paid half dollar. sneez.
"a 'oor tImee' q Dine cents sneeze went up on
the tower for quarter of dollar. and looked ~
the Falls; didn't feel sublime any, tried to bnt
couonrs TOOK somebecr ard tried again but failed
aranI elass Of beer and began 10 feel better.
;;ouugn. tne Maters we're sent for and were on.
Journey 70 the -; thought the place bSI6W
sea of beer; was going to Jump down and set
some-guide held me; sent him over to ,he hoteIto
get glass OF beer while tried to write some poe
try-result ss sfollows: = '.- .oo s'"@ po0
Othou (spray in one eye) awful f.u.ll ,oh.,.r
in right shoe) sublime (both feet wesS ,oos,er ,;c
OF Uimmeny, what al lie.) the Almighty Terr;hls
and majestic art thou in thy tremendous m;shs.
s awful sorlnD to behold, (cramp in my right s6oul-
6lest down and risest up again in misty maiesy To
heaven-thou glorious parent of thousand rain.
bows-what huge, grand, awful terrible, tremen.
dous, Infinite old swindling humbue you are; what
you've tumbfed over the rocks and cam set nm
again to save your puny existence; you make q
great fuss, don't you? -, -
Man came back with the beer, drank it to the last
drop, and wished there had been gallon more
walked out or rock to the edge Of the fall. wo-
man on shore very much frightened-I told her
not to get excited If fell over, as would step
right up again-it would not be much of fall apy
now-got glass OF beer of man., another of a
woman, and another of two small boys with pail
-ntfeen minutes elapsed, when purchased some
more OF an Indian woman and imbibed it through
q straw 1t wasn't good-had to get glass of beer
70 .a.e the taste out of my mouth legs began to
cry and wanted something to eat-went into an
eating house, called for plate of beans when the
plate brought the waiter in his hand took l., hung
| up my beef and beans on nail, eat my hat, paid
dollar to niger, and sided out on the step-walk,
bought boy OF glass of dog with small beer
and neck on his tail, with collar with spot on
the end-felt funny, sick-got some soda water in
tin cup drank the cup and placed the soda on the
counter, and paid for the money full of pocket
very bad headache rubbed it against the lamp post
and then stumped along station house came along
and said If didn't go straight he'd take me to the
s wa!cnman-tried to obige the station house-very
civil station house, very-met baby with an Irish
woman and wheelbarrow in it, couldn't get out
Of me way, she wouldn't walk on the sidewalk, but
insisted on going on both sides of the street at
once ono. tried to walk between her; consequence
collision, awful, knocked out the wheelbarrow's
nose, broke the Irish woman all to pieces, baby
loose court house handy, took me to the constable
Jury eat On me, and the Jail said the magistrate
must take me to the constable; objected; the dun
geon put me into the darkest constable in the city
got out, and here am, prepared to stick to my
original opinion-Niagara unus humbngi non
ezcetsus, non indignus admiralconi
Yours unquestionably
@. r. PHYLANDER DoEsTIcKs P B.