Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-12-02
Sut LOveugOOd'S Daddy "Acting Horse"
by, OF TENNESSEE.


keep him whar he is" "Wo, Shave
tail" Hes a dancing jig" These
and like expressions, were addressed to
queer-looking, long legged, shori-bodied,
small-headed, white-haired, hog-eyed,
funny sort of genius, fresh from some
bench-legged Jews clothing store, and
mounted on "Tearpoke," nick tailed,
bOw-necked, long, poor horse, half dan
/ dy, hell devil and enveloped all over in
perfect net work of bride reins, crup-
pers, martin gales, straps, circmgles, and
red terretin, who had relned up in front OF
Pat Nash's grocery, among crowd OF
wild mounlaineers, full Of fight and mean
whiskey.
Il say, you burned ash cats, jist keep
your shirts on? You never seed raIe
hoss till rid up; Tarpoko is jist next 10
the best boss that ever shelled nubblns,
an he's dead as a still worm, poor old
TirkytaiI."
What killed him, Sut ? says an anx-
ious inquirer.
Why, nuthin,' you 'tarnal fool he
jist died so, died a standin' up, at that.
Warnt that good pluck Froze stiff no
not that adzdcly, but starved fust, ana
then froze afterwards, so stuff that when
dad and me pushed him over, he just
stuck out so lspreadin his arms and legs
ike a carpenters bench, an we waited
seventeen DAYS for him to thaw alore we
could skin i'm. Well, thar we was--Dad
an me Counting on his fingers dad,
and me, and Sail, and Jake (Fool Jake
we call him, fur SHORTY an Jonas, an
Phineas, an me, an Callime Jane, Shar-
.lotieean, an Simeon Paul, an CaShus
Henry Clay, an Noah Daniel Webster,
an me, an the twin gals, an Catharne
Second, and Cleopatry Antony, an Jane
Liad, an Tom Bullion, an the baby, an
the prospect, an nam herself, all left
without ara boss to crap with. That was
a nice mess for spectacle white family
TO be sIashin' about in, warn't ii ! | be
burned if didn't feel like sOrter stealin' a
boss sometimes. Well, we waited, an
rested, an wished, and waited, until well
! into straw wberry time, hopin' some stray
boss mout come along, but dog my cat, eff
! eny sich luck as that ever Gums Whar dad
is, he's SO drafted mean, an lazy, an ug-
| Iy, an savage.
well, one mite, dad he lay awake all
mite, a snortin' an roIIin,' an BLOWN
an scratchiu', and a whisperin at nam,
and next mornin' says he, 'Sut, I'll tell
you what we'I do; I'll be horse myself,
and pull the plough, while you drive me,
and well break up corn groun', and then
the 'oId quilt CHATS mann AN the brats
kin plant or let ii alone, jest as they d-n
please. SO out we goes to the pawpaw
thcket, and pcaled a rite peart chance of
bark, and nam an me made geers fur
dad, and they beCum him miteiy; then he
woud hav bride, so gifts an old UNI
bereller what | found It's little forkeG
piece of iron, sorter like into a pltchlork,
ye know, and we bent and twisted it sor-
ter into bride bit, snaGI shape dad wan
ted it kurb, as he sed he hadn't work. Cor
sum time, an mite sOrter feel his oats and
90 to cavorln.) Well, when we got the
bride all fixed on dad, he chOmped the
bit iist like a boss (he alters was a most
kompIicated Gurn'd old fool, eny how,and
nam alters sed so when he warnl about .
then put on the geers, and out dad and
me goes to the field, | Ieadin' dad by
the bride, and tOtin the gopher plough
on my back. When we cum TO the I
fence, | lei down gap, an it made dad
mad; he wanted 10 jump the fence on all
fours, boss way. hitched him into the .
gopher, and away he went, dad leanin .
lorard To his puIIln' rite peart, and we
made sharp plowin, dad goin rite over the
the only differ was he went on TWO legs. .
Presently we cum TO sassafrac bush, and
dad, TO keep up his kar-acter as hnss,
bulged sauar into it, and thru il, and tore
down hornets nest nigh onto as big as a
boss head, and all the tribe kivered him
rite strate. lie rared an kicked once or
twice, and foIched a squeal wus nor ara
boss in the district, and sOl in 10 ruunIn'
away, jist as natural as ever you seed.
let 20 The lines and hOllered, Woe, dad,
woa = but ye mouI as well said wOa to
locomotive. GewhlIlcans ! how he did
run ! When he cum to bush, he'd clar
the TOP Of it, gopher an all; praps he
thought there mout be another settlement
of bald hornets IN ii, and that il vas safer
TO 90 over than Ihro' and quicker done,
every now and then he'd paw the sides Of
his head with fust one fore leg and then
t'Olher. then he'd gin himself an open
handed slap, that sounded ike a Wagon
whip, and a runuln all the time, and
carrin that gopher jisi about as fast aud as
high from the yearth as ever gopher
va, carried, swar. When lie cum 10