The Yazoo Democrat., 1854-02-22

'Nicodemus of Hoboken," gives in New
York paper, the following advice towives. Read
and remember:
| A husband ought to be considered as horse,
with the marriage bit in his mouth, hence the
word bridal or bride. If the wife hold the rib
bons judiciously, he is easily driven about, even
in the most dangerous parts of Broadway, such
as Genin's Stewards, De Forests and Taylor's.
The whole science consists in your being able to
manage your animal, mean husband, so skilful-
ly. that after driving him about New York con-
stantly for eight months, from store to store, he
is yet able and willing to carry you down to
Saratoga, to spend the summer An accom-
pIished wife should be able to assume, like the
moon, every phase of fascination; but whatev-
er shape she assumes should be a bright one, frora
the crescent smile encouraging the bashful hus-
band, to the full moon gaze of tenderness. which
is payment in full for some Quintius Curtius act
of immolation, such as diamond necklace, or
new damask bed-hangings Never waste your
smiles upon your husband let him earn them /;
arms (alms) giving is bad, it disconrages indus
try; what we get for nothing we despice, When
husband is generous, dispense your smiles up
on him. but be careful not to overstock the
market-kisses may become drug, like corn,
coal cotton, calico, rhubarb patriots, and poets.
A wifes happiness consists in her nervous sys-
tenn. 4 nervous system cannot be healthily
supported without being fed upon SoireeS, satin
dresses, rosewood couches, pretty Mysteries, ope-
ra sofas, hectic coughs, and violent sobbing-
We have known a wife who screamed nersel
into a set of rosewood furniture, and languished
so, day by day that at last, when dying, she
found herself in a Fifth Avenue palace, which
had so beneficial an influence over a Cailopnt
consumption, that she resolved to give over hel
dying, and live for Twenty years to come.
One word more, dear wives, and | have done
Above all things, avoid that ''last French fash
ion,' of coup d'etats-they are dangerous tn po
litics; fatal in marriage. You may indulge in
one before wedlock--by the way, there is nc
club TO pick that lock, except chubby boy
but these ''strokes of State, as Lord PaImerston
says, are not exactly fitted for the United States
of Marriage. Marriage ir the real spirit of the
Ring, and when we say this we intehd no refer
ence to the spirits of Alderman Ring-we only
mean that the wedding ring is the magic circle
out of which, like Casper in +" Der Frcischutz.
it is difficult to escape. Above all things, dear
wives, let me warn you against letting your
husbands have thsir own way, even though on
ly once--that once may be fatal. Tigers, when
They have once tasted human blood, crave after
ii incessantly, and are ten times fercer than be
fore. lean assure you, my dear wives, that a
tiger is not half so ravenous and unreasonable a
beast as a husband. / beg the former noble ami
malls pardon for the degrading comparison.-
Welded happiness is founded on the arion that
woman cannot be wrong. She has never yet
been SO from the days of Eve, and never will he
at all extents, # will never do for woman to
acknowledge it; the woman who makes tha t
suicidal admission will be considered the Judas
lscanot of her sex. Farewell--Iny dear wives
now you may go and tease your husbands.
p. S.-Always select the most expensive ar
ticles, and the most useless--they may be want
ed