Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-10-21
Getting .Fits- in Clothing store.

Cpti' 1IIN NtS' NI green, O'l NC WAS HI'lO
lastIdlous in his choice Of pants, these
GROWING glories OF his new suit. lie
seemed 10 indulge weakness for long
pantaloons, and complained that his last
pair had troubled him exceedingly, or, as
he expressed il, "Dlamed!y." by hilching
up over his boots, and wrInkIng about
the knees. Nehemiah delyed away IN
pemous,y amidst the stack Of TWO or lhTee
hundred pairs, and finally his eyes rested
upon a pair of lengthy ones, real blazers.
and with wide yellow stripes running each
way. Nehemiah snaked them OuI IN
twinking. He liked ihem-they were
long and yelow-they were just the
thing, and he proceeded at once to try
them on. The new clothing store had
nook curlained OIL for this purpose, and
Nehemiah was speedily closeled therein.
The pants had straps, and the straps
were butloned; now Nehemiah had seen
straps before, but the art of managing
them was mystery, and like 81 Paulck's
dilemma, "rtquIrcd mighty dale OF nice
consideration" On deIiberatlon he de-
cided that the boots must 90 on first; he
accordingly drew on his Bluchers, noun
ted i char, elevated his pants al proper
angle, and endeavorcd TO coax the legs M
to lhcm. lie had time of 1t. His boots
were none of the smallest, and The pants,
though long, were none of the widest, the
chair too, was rlckety, and bothered him,
bending his energies to The task, he sue
ceedcd III inducing the legs into the pes
1 XIV things" lie was standing Ike the
Colossus of Rhodes, and just IN the act
of raising the other foot, when a Whisper
ing and giggng, in his immediate vlcinl-
|ty, made HIM alive to the appalling fact
.hal nothing but thin curtain of chintE
separated him from twenty to thirty of the
preuJcst and wlckedest girls that were
ever in one shop. Nehem lah was a BASH
.ful youth and would have made circum-
.bendlbns of mile any day, rather than
meet those girls, even had he been in full
dress; as it was, his mouth was ajar at the
bare possibility Of making his appearance
amongst them in his present dshabiIlc.
Whalli there was hole in the curtain
/ What if il should fall 1t wouldn't bear
thinking Of, and plunging his feet in the
vacant leg, with sort Of frantic looscness,
/ lie brought on the very catastrophe he was
so anxious TO avoid The chair collapsed
with sudden "scrouch," pitching Nehe-
miah head over heels through :he curtain,
and he made his grand entrance among
the stitching dvinirIcs on all lours, like
ieltered rhInoceros.
Perhaps Collier himself never exhibit
ed more slrklnggroup tabIeaux vivanles
than was now displayed. Nehemiah was
"model," every inch of him, and tho
not exactly resolving on pedestal" !" he
was going through the movement quite as
IetlecIually on his back, kicking, plunging,
in short, personifying in thirty seconds
all the attitudes ever "chseIled !" As
for the gals, they screamed of course.
Jumped upon chairs, and the cutting
board, threw their hands over their faces,
peeped through their fingers, screamed
again, "!hey should die they knew they
should :"
"Oh, Lordy ~ blubbered the distress
sed young 'un, "don't hoIer so, gals,
don't! ] didn't 60 tew, swar TO man
didn't; It's all owing TO those cussed
uowsers, every mite ont. Ask yer
boss, he'll tell ye how twas. Oh, Lor-
dy, won't nobody kver me with Old
clothes, or turn the wood-box over me
Oh, Moses in the buI.rushes, whatll
Nancy say -
lie managed 10 raise himself on his feet
and make spurge towards the door, bur
his "enIangIIng alliances" lripped him up
again, as he fell "kersIap" upon the hot
goose OF the pressmsn! This was the
unkIndesI cut Of all. The goose had been
heated expressly for the thick cloth seams,
and the way It sizzlcJ into the seat of lhe
new pants was alIlIcting TO the wearer.
Nehemiah rlz up ~ an instant, and selz-
ing The source Of all hs troubles 10y tie
slack he tore himself free from all save
the straps and some panllet-llke fragments
that hung about BIZ ankles, as he dashed
through he door Of the emporium, al q
TWO forty pace. Nehemiah seemed ~
yeaIn with lie p0es, ior lodge ia some
vast wilderness" and betrayed a settled
purpose 10 flee from tie busy haunts Of
Ineu," for the last seen of him he WIS ca
Pering up the railroad--cuuing ike scA-
red rabbit, tie rays of the declining sun
hIckeriug aud daEring upon broad eS-
panse oi shHi tail that 1utrred gayly ~
the breeze. az he headed Tor the nearest
wood - BOsfoa IdHkee Btade.
Model Clerk.
Tntlnr HIM Il c..lleH tn see about lhe