The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-05
TIE LOVING COUPLE.

The wife Of a small eaiing-house
keeper appeared before The Tr:buna! Of
Correctional Pulice at Paris, lately, 10
complain Of her husband foy assaulting
her. The moment he was placed al the
bar, the accused cried: g
"Tha. woman, Mr.. President, takes all
she can ge, out Of me 10 cram son--u
son OF whom am not the father? She
will bring me 10 crust and a straw bed
before she has done with me - t5A
''Lei Us hear the complaint" said ihe
President. 'es9 m5ti ls.isl pvss. 2Hs
A buxom woman stepped forward, and
"Thal fellow, sir, whom I blush 10 call
my husband, has treated me in most
abominable way! He has given me
kicks in pariof the person which no
woman who respects herself likes 10
receive! Finally, he gave me the other
day such BLOW on the arm, that il was
in state Of upoplexy al day!7
.'In state of whali" said the Presi-
dent3 halaU eds asawisd iago9oh
"oi apoplexy!u Iuwas as stiff aus an
iron bal!' sso,gaoJ 10 iah ,35i io no'
"You moan 10 say ca,aIepsy" aia si'
"I have always heurd say apoplexy-
TO die Of apoplexy!J However, sir, on
the day Of the grea, scene lie came to
me with his big Kitchen knife, and said,
4 mus, skin you! Yes, sir, the monster
actually wanted 10 skin me like rabbit"
"Well, accused, you hear the charge.
What have youto say?" said the Presi-
| dent. --
"Sir," answered the culprit. with great
emotion, MY wife, my wife, rlove her!
| will even say,l idolize her! Blu. she
has son! Le,this father suPpor, him!
II is only geese Of husbands who support
their wife's sons-and ! ami not a goose.
No, | canno, swallow tue son. But with
that exception, I love her. Oh, yes, l
love her dearly, devotedly." 's'
Here the sentimental culprit burst into
tears. w t'"a1 = ''a"s'
''And don't love you loo, my dears'
cried the wife, suddenly sympalhislng,
and weeping TOO. 2
"No, you do not love me-"
/ "Oh, heavens hear him! And after
that lie, any woman waste herself away
in loving dog Of man."
"If you love me. would you-"
"Come, let US have no conversations,
said the President. "Did YOU strike your
wife-yes or nQf'
! "Sir, listen 10 me, and you will see
whether | love my wife or not" are
"Tha, is no, the questionable yo'
T strike her?" ia'@' -.
"You shall see Ilovc. Well, We had
female seuant,, and my ~ife accused
me Of heing too intimate with her. !
wasn't true, sir; sbu, kicked the servant
| out Of the door to prove 10 my wife how
Il :. q
much loved her. But would you be-
lieve ii, sir? She actually brought The
girl back agnin. That put me, ! admit
, into passion-and fadminis,eredto TO he
f a kick, simple kick, and then blow
3 only one bowl!
! Here the ,cuder-hearlcd man bnrs
> into a new looG of tears 1 @
! eyes" cried the wife, weeping NOR
abundanlly, "fr was only single blow
. He didn't msan to huu me-"
"In TRUTH" said The President, "iher'
I is no making out what you would have
If we were TO believe The deposition yo'
( | h'.f.'"|
gave on making your complaint you
, husband wanted 10 murder you-and nov
, YOU defend him. But the first complain
was confirmed by witness, and by iha
we shall abide. We condemn your has
to two months'imprisonment."
"Oh, merciful heuvens" shrieked.t tn
:, wife, "rwo months without seeing him!
"Two mon,hs!" cried the culprit ]
despair. '.Oh, Godl-two months froI
her!' a9!nQ 81 tH si3-
"Take away the prisoner. and remov
the woman,'' Said the President. i.
aPhrasie -deatest Phrnsie You wi
! come and see me in prison, will you not:
cried the husband the very picture
despair. ug Dss.a '3S
"Yes-oh yes, my belovedw exclaime e
The weeping wife; ''and ! will bring 20
), some of the macaroni which you likes
WE'LL" ,ia,l A..4 u hs's5aa