Muscatine journal. [volume] (Bloomington, Iowa) 1849-185?, 1854-01-06
Humorous.

Humorous. a
If you would "mad" girl who is vain of
bounty, tell her you went to party last night, and
was introduced to Miss P, tho hanlsomest girl
you ever saw in your life. The moment your back is
urnsd, she vii be making facas at you. as
Jones and Parker were riding along one day,
when they passed field in which great number of
"rhat looks to me-" said nes, "like Colored Con-
vention." "Well," replied Parker, "from my knowl
sige OF Croro'o5y should say, that it was merely
a Cartus."
-"Pappa, can a person catch anything, if be
d,n't run after II"
ono"
"Wel', then how did you catch that cid you have
got2'
"By runniRg after your mother, to brig her home
from the Woman's r shts Meeting" a50
--"Vonse, ven vas court mine Catarine, vas
go on mine fa to hoe mine potatoes corn. vell den
| sees mine CAtarine coming der road, SO I dnks /
give her boo, SO cli.nbs up tree and shust So
vas Ding 70 boo her. falls on der henlcck fence, and
sticks pine knot hole in mine pantaoons, and Caa-
rne vas lsf and make me more shame dan sheep
NIT one tam tief on his psca- true as pork"
---YcUEG AMEkicA -" My son." sa:d a doa.inp
father who was ab ut takrg bis ssh into business,
"what shall be TIE ftJ 10 Of the new M 2" Gwen,
govern =, said the ons-and twenty youth, II don 4
know, but suppess we have it "John H. Samplin g.
Father" The old gentleman was struck with the
erieinality Of thu Idea, but could not adopt it.
"A fashionable lady, 70 matter where, once sail
to friend:
"Gy new house now directing, is TO be subIimated
and sflendiferous. There is ts be Porto Rio ip
front, and Earro in the rear-a lemon ade all round
it, Zoe water is to to in at the side of the house
n an anecdote, the law is to lie graded and some
large tres to be surplantei in the circle in tie
rear.' 14a
She is cousin to the lady who told Gov Clinton how
remarkable stormy it is apt to DO when the Gun is
p .ssing the "Pcnob2eot."
"A young midshipnan not many years ago, was
l erirg on bis morning watch, tho eewari side of
cae o. Uncls Sans ships. The officer of the deck
Idered the sailors to bring half dozen buckets of
water, and at preconcerted signal the poor snoring
mildly was to set the contents The signal was given
sou:e went couple of buckets; then two more. Tue
ficer cried our, "Ton, you are overboard-strike
away. The little fellows legs and arms went the
same as il be was actually swimming, and it was
some time before he could make up his mind that he
was safe on board, more especially when some of tho
cried ou' "Throw him rope-:brow him rope -
Do As Do "A well known fast man recently
entered the Astor Exchargs or bar room. where he
seldom fails to meet about tw.nty friends in the
Smiling hours. With his usual heartincss, he
called up he company, who, nothing 10th, at once
"faced the COUNTER you must all do as do
said the liberal friexd, "Ol csrainly-cf course,
was the unanimous reply. AMI they all called fer
b After drinking TIE wag laid down his shilling
on the 20 inter, and Immediately retired sfying in
soft, persuasive tone: ID, as do, gentlemen" The
party locked at one another with comic stare until
who, finally felt the force Of the idea creeping
powerfully through his hair, exclaimed: "Sold, by
thunder -
-A REVEREND PussrER--A few years .ince,
Wien the Rsy. Dr. Hawks, the celebrated Episc, pal
clergy man, was about leaving New rk for the
South, he was waited upon by the ves,rymen of
m III church " Westchester clunty, and urgently
solicited to take charge Of the same. The Rev. Dc
tor graciousy received the committee but respectfully
declined the propostion urging as chief objection,
that the salary IT oagh large for the parish they rep
resented, would be inad~quat for bis expenses, hav-
ing COPS derabe family Of small children to educate
sni provide for. one Of the committee replied:
.The L7rd will take care Of them he has promised
to hear the young ravens when they cry asd to FRO
ride for th M
Every true, eaid the reversed gentleman ssbut
ne has nst promised to provide for the ysurg hawks
-MAraEMArIcs.-Wsh heard story the other
iay--new to US, although it may bs old to others
worth reading. young collegiate wko had just
graduated, taking his break after the impor
tant event With his venerable parents. "Wel, John
,ad the old gentleman, "tell US something of your
learning" "WelI, father, that would take a great
whi.e fr know coed deal Of the classics the Ian
gusges, philosophy, mathematixs, Is" "What art
mathematics, John7' Mathematics! Why for IL
stance take tho,e tws eggs there.-Tls is one egg,
and that is two; two end are three. soty nathe
MATES We aro enabled to show that there are three
eggs IN the table when you supposed there were hut
t~c." Every well, John, very well indeea. And to
show you my opinion Of mathematics will give your
mother egg, viii take tue second and you MAY
haze aeihird. lad no idea leerning was SO use
full"
Ties PIa AND WHIsrLR.-"You can't mako q
whistle out of pigs tall" says the proverb YAM
kee ingenuity, however, has Put the prOverb out of
countenance. We cav very neat little whistle yes
terday, manufactured ont Of the caudal extremity Of
> juvenile posker and gentleman sent four to the
Museum Isst Wednesday, we are told, with whistle
at one end and mouth ACCORDION at the other!
The maker Of these last curoties bad been engaged
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