Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1854-02-15

compartment to inspect certain gentle
mans seat on that side Of the line.
Reader, had it been you or I, the beau
ty would have been the deserter, the ave
rage one would have stayed with us, til
all was blue ourselves included; no
more surely does our slice of bread and
volve it ever so often, alight face down
ward on the carpet. But this was BIZ
of a fop, Adonis, dragoon-so Venus re-
mained in tete a tete with him. You have
seen dog meet an unknown female Of
his species; how handsome, how empresse
how expressive he becomes: such was
Miss Haythorn, she became demurrer and
demurrer presently our Captain looked
out of the window and laughed; this eli
cited an inquiring look from Miss Hay
thorn. "We are only mile from the
Box Tunnel
Do you always laugh a mile from
the Box Tunnel 90 said the lady.
Invariably"
What for?''
"Why! hem it's a gentleman
joke"
"Oh. don't mind it's being silly if it
makes me laugh" Captain Doligan thus
encouraged, recounted to Miss Haythorn
the following:
A lady and her husband sat together
going through the box tunnel-there was
one gentleman opposite, it was pitch dark;
after they were clear Of the tunnel the la
dy said, George how abusurd of you to
salute me going through the tunnel I
did no such thing You didn't %
mo why = why, because somehow 1
thought you did Here Captain Dolin-
gan laughed, and endeayored to lead his
companion to laugh, but it was not to be
done. The train entered the tunnel.
Miss Haythorn-"Ah !''
Doligan-"What is the matter?".
Miss HI am frightened"
Dolignan (moving to her side)-"Pray
do not be alarmed, am near you"
Miss H.-"You are near me, very near
me, indeed, Captain Dollignan."
Doig ou know my name y
Miss HI heard your-Iriend men
ton it. Iwish we were out otehis, dark
place."
"DoIig.-"I could be content to spend
hours here, re-assuring you. sweet lady. -
Miss -"Nonsense."
Doignan-Pwheep (Grave reader,
do not put your lips to cheek of the
next pretty creature you meet. or you will
understand what this means
Miss H.-"Eh!"
Friend-What is the matter ?"
Miss Haythorn -"Open the door !
open the door !''
There was sound Of hurried whis-
pers, the door was shut and the blind
pulled down with hostile sharpness.
If any critic falls on me for putting
inarticulatc sound in dialogue as above,
[ answered with all the insolcnce 1 can
command at present, "Hit boys as big as
yourself" ,"-biggcr, perhaps, such as So
phocles, Euripides, and Aristophanes ,
they began it, and learned it of them,
sore against my will.
Miss Haythorn's scream lost part of its
effect because the engine whistled forty
thousand murders at the same moment
and fictitious grief makes itself heard
when real cannot.
Between the tunnel and Bath our young
friend had time to ask himself whether
his conduct had been marked by that de-
licate reserve which is supposed to distin-
guish the perfect gentleman.
With long face, real or feigned, he
held open the door, his late friends at
tempted to escape on :he other side,
possible they must pass him. She
whom he insulted Latin for ksscd) de-
posted somewhere at his foot look ot
gentle blushing rcproach the other
whom he had not insulted, dagted red
hot daggers at him from her eyes, and
SO they parted.
II was, perhaps, fortunate for Dolig
nan that he had the grace 20 be friend:
with Major Hoskyns, Of his regiment, {
veteran laughed at by the youngsters
for the Major was too apt to look co!diy
upon billiard balls and cigars; he had
seen the cannon, balls and linstocks; he
had also, to tell the truth, swallowed q
good bit of the mess-room poker, anc
with it some sort Of moral poker, which
made it as impossible for Major Hoskyn:
to descend to an .ungentleman-like word
or action, as TO brush his own trowser
below the knee.
Captain Dolignan told this gentleman
his story in glee(ul accents, but Major
Hoskyns heard him coldly, and as cold
" answered that ne had known man t,
lose his life for the same thing; "110
is nothing" continued the Major, but
unfortunately he deserved to lose IT,
At this, the blood mounted the youn!
mans temples, and his senior added, :"
mean to say he was thirty-fve, you,
presume, are twenty-one."
Twenty five"
That is much the same thing; vii
you be advised BY me ?"
elf you will advise me-
Speak to no one Of this, and sen
White the E3, that he may think 20
have lost the bet.''
I'M 4.