Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-10-07
Doesticks on Croton Water.
New York, July 2G

u
ParIaklng too freelr Of cider made from
apples with worms in it. At present am
s'ber. Whether ior the last four and
twenty hours have been so, is the point
requiring elucidation. If during that pc.
riOd | have been intoxicated, then The
time has arrived when any person who
wishes 10 have regular drunk need on.
Iy Apply TO the nearest hydrant. Here.
ttore have supposed water To be bcv
eroga innocent and harmless; but now
wei, no mat .er--I will not anlicpale.
Listen while | relate plain, unvaru>h.
ed tAle.'
left my boarding house in company
with friend 10 witness the Shaksperi,n
revival at Burton's he Midsummer
Nights Dream Before leaving the ho.
tel, al his suggestion, we pariook of po.
table, known, | think, as whisky
punce. watched atentively the prepar. =.
alton OF this agreeable beverage, and am
certain that there entered into its comro.
SltIon a certain amount Of waler--Cro>
ton water, as have every reason 10 be-
lIeve; and | am also sure that in that
treacherous draught imbibed the first
'nstalment Of that vilanous liquid which
produced the diabolical state of facts am
about to describe; and also that the sec.
ond and third of those ingenious inven>
tons, (both of which we drank on the
spoD where as guilty, in this respect, as
her 'illustrious predecessor And /
furthermore conscentously state that my
glass oi brandy Zone Of couple we or
dered soon afterwards) and which, ac.
cording 10 my invariably custom, should
have been straight was also surrepli
, lnusly, diluted with the same delecla Bile
duid ny the malicious bar keeper, for |
| remember experiencing n slight confusion
m 60 ng out, and mistakiug 81 lopsail
'chooner for Broadway theatre.
We Immediately entered another So.
Don to procure the wherewilh 10 steady
'ur nerves when we partook of two gin
cocktails and Il brandy smash individu-
ally, and state according TO the best of
my Knowledge and belief, that our prin.
| ;'pal ingredient in each and every one of
.hesc compounds was waer--Cro on wa.
tr--cu'pabIy introduced therein by some
evil disposed persons without my knowl-
edge OF consent On leaving this saloon
noticed that my friend, although sin.
9 e man had by some mysterious process
of multiplication become two. | kept
fast no Of both, and, after doubling, with
great deal of difficulty, great number
and variety of corners, we reached Bur.
tons. Tickets being mysteriously pro.
cured we entered, and eventually OBJ
'ained seats. Finding after prolonged
trial, that it was impractcable to pu' my
hat in my vest pocket, | placed i. on the
floor and put both feet on it. The thea.
tire gradually seemed to be somewhat
mixed up. The pa'queuc. gallery, and
dress circle were all one; and the stage
was whiIling round at rate which must
have been extremely announcement to the
revolving actor.
A length, after bcral allowance of
overture, the curtain wen, up, and | was
enabled, by the most unremittng attention
TO concentrate the actors sufficiently to
understand the performance. And many
things which hitherto deemed dramati.
cally incorrect were presented to my
wondering vision then and there. Hip.
polyta' was dressed in knee -breeches aud
brogans; and 'Tilania' did not to me
present very fairylIke appearance in
tiremen's red.shir and three cooked
hat. 'Operon' was not so objection able,
(being gentleman in talma and plaid
pantaloons, though even he might black.
ed his boots and omitted Eis spurs. And
l fear I did not properly appreciate the
rest of the fairies who had their head dec
uIated with suua ,wors and their hands
full of onions.
AT last the entertainment was conclud>
ed, and | remember consulting with my
duplicated friends as to the feasibility of
a return 10 Brooklyn, in our boarding
house. On our journey lhilher we wit.
messed many strange things about which
ldesire information. In the frs, place,
is it the custom as general thing, for
the City Hall and Barnum's Museum to
indulge inan animated contra dance up and
down Broadway in the middle oflhe night
accompanied by their fantastic move.
ments, by the upper story ofSlewsrt's and
the Bible Sociely's building for they
certainly did, on that evenlful evening.
and feel called upon to enter my SOL
emn protest against these noctural archi-
tectural sallatory exhibitions, as unwor.
thy the dignity of the Empire City. And
| would with all humanity suggest, that
if the stony goddess Of Justice, whose
appropriate place is on the top Of the Ci-
ty Hall, will desert her responsible post
she might choose more becomiug amuse-
nent than sitting ctosslegged on the top
oil Houston street stage, playing the
jewsharp.
/ am now convinced that Bowling green
fountain is not permanently located on