Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-03-25
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! EXTRACTS FROM DOW. Jk.--hN lIi0HuS
How tender is woman She is as tender as
achicken, tE as tough as an old gobler. She
must be screened from the hot summer sum-.
sheltered from the blast of winter, ,& yet II
she makes up her mind 20 do it,she can out
set the sun, face nOrlh-easIer, and be
match for the devil But inwardly she is
tender as the mercies of Heaven; herheart
is as much softer than mans as beeswax
lhan a brickbat. Her sympaihles are as
tender as down on an angels wings, her
love appears as fresh and untading amid
the sorrows of adversely, as the evergreen
leaf that encircleS the brow of old winter.
Her tenderness is too tough 10 be des-
troyed by whatever change fortune or
time may bring, as tough as tripe, and
twice as common.
NV hearers-how loving is woman!
She is amazingly sickly in her attach
ments. She will cling to the chosen OBJ
ect of her heart like possum to a gum
tree, and YOU can't separate her without
swapping the strings that no art can mend,
and leaving a portion Of her soul upon the
upper leather of her affections. They
will sometimes see something 10 love,
where others can discover nothing to adj
mire; and when her fondness is fastened
on fellow, il sticks like gin and lasses IN
a bushy head of hair.
A Winchell tells the following
yarn of an EngliShman, who on board OF
Mississippi steamer, was boasting in the
presence of some natives, of extraordinary
diving performances witnessed by him at
home; among the marvellous feats he
mentioned one in which a diver changed
his boots while under the water, bringing
up in his hands those he had pulled of,
and replaced with pair of new Yelling
tons which he laced and tied before he
arose to the surface.
"Talk aboJt yer English divers they
amt primin' tu what Short Tom kin do.
Short Tom undertook to swim the Ms
ierSippi 1rOnSt, but got aground in seven
feet of water; you see he was only FIVE
eet high and eight feet through; well he
struck agn a sand-bar, found he couldn't
git over it, and bein' tired, he had 10 back
down.
"You see he drank whiskey for liv-
ing altogether, and that thar made his bo-
dy impervious to the water, which had 10
stand back about foot all round, he per-
spred so strong the water couldn't tech
him; there was some lelers sailin' close
by, and they seed him gwine down, as
they warn't acquainted with the runyd6-
ulouS disposition of the critter, they nat
urally 'spected that he was a goner, so
they hunted about arter him an hour or
sich; at last they 'skvered the old feller
sittin' on the bottom of the river, smokin'
his pipe and tryin' for TO make catfish
stand on his tail ~ ..'.
Young man, a private word. When
you 90 acquiring, find out, as soon as
possible, whether your affections are being
planted more in bundle Of cry goods and
things generally, than in pulsaling heart
hemmed in by warm ribs, and all that.
Many fellow has laid himself out for a
full made woman, and only found a very
extensive assortmentof cotton, whalebone,
and similar deIusive institutions. just
look over the goods before going to the
parson. g. l.rr
Girls don't gap about the streets so
much. Go into the kitchen and assist
your mother, and learn The art Of wiiery,
before you speak of beaux or think Of get
ting married. Come, take advice of a
friend and try TO be good for something.
Some Of You know not how ridiculous yon
appear when you put on airs and pretend
that you are too good to work.
The latest case Of absence Of mind was
that of young woman in Portland, who
was sent by her mother TO buy pair OF
shoes, and instead OF buying them married
the shoemaker. Ii was a week before she
discovered her mistake, and even then she
did not cry about II. sll
There is a great deal Of poetry, and a
vast deal more Of truth in the following:
God aud the doctor we alike adore any
Just on the brink Of danger, not beiOrei
The danger passed, both are alike reqdi,ed,
God IS forgotten and the doctor s!lghtedl'H
A western editor, speaking Of the ven
cradle appearance Of stump orator. says.'
lie stood up, like one Of 'em, run h''
b0M head and has hands IN has bTseehes
pockets - asa. isIo..s J
( Somebody says lie is a brave man
who isn't afraid TO wear old clothes until
he is able 10 pay for new. 7u
A cores spoUdent thinks that farmers
would keep their smaTlest boss at homo
to work, on the lsn.!, instead OF sending
them 10 colleges, stores, or into mechah-
.ics' shops The desert would blossom rors
like the rose Than il does now. -
p4J,.,s dissertation nj a fiddle can't be