The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1854-11-08
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6 II I'll o Il o. III 8. !.

No ExcusE.--A few years since
there was Professor at a nciahbor. /:
ing college, with whom punctualitt@
formed part ofhis religion. Among
other, things, he was particular that
every member of his class should be
present at the recitation Of every term,
and il any were absent he called upon
their classmates to state, if they}3
could: the cause thereof 1t once
happened that one of his pupils had
died during the vacation, Of which tho;
old man was otlawarc and NOTICING i
that his seat was vacant, whctt b the
class had assembled, he inquired after
his whereabouts. Being little deaf.S
he misunderstood the person who all. Z
swered, "lle is dead, sir" and pro-
cecded with his customary reniarkssi
mot q sufficient excuse, sir; andI$;
am astonished that any student should I,
render such n one in my recitation
room" ."--B. 3
Yes, that's the very way With you'll:
sobs the despairing wife; "wheen sye \
were tlrst married, you used to say. s
Put your little toots'y tootsy's up to to !.
mine and keep them Warmly: now,
it's nothing but stake awa9 Nena
a--1rold hogs Of yow'u n ;g5
Gentlemen and ladies' saidnths +
Snowman, here you have a maGniti. 4.
Cent painting of Daniel in the Lions
den. Daniel can easily be distinguish &
ed from the lions by the green cotton
umbrella under his ARM
Ii The New York !adspefiient NJ I
find the following from mother :
But did tell you what "a time i y
had with my little Joe!
No; what was it?''
Why, was showing him Tie ;pId.z
turc OF the martys thrown to thelions.s
and was talking very solemnly to him
tying to make him feel what d terri
bic thing it wis. 81. ;Nta i'tsa! :hss..
rliu, just look t that poor or
llt1Ie li"il way behind there, he won't
get any ss5
A wag, on reading that in an en-.
gagement dey and two knights were
Killed, remarked that that Was killing
time with vengeance.
\ merchant in this city suddenly
entering his counting house the other
day, found one of his clerks rearing a
large book in the air, with the end 4
resting upon his chin.
Why amt YOU at work John q lie
inquired: {" am sir" replied the
clerk-lou are at what work ?--
" Balancing the Ledger, sir -
Adolescence, art thou not endeav. 4.
orlng to cnticc the inny tribe to en-.
gulph into their denticulated mouths {.
barbed hook, upon whose point isa
affixed dainty allurcmcnt ~ Mo-
said the boy, am fishing
~ writer in an Irish newspaper, ar:
ter mentioning the wrcci, of u vessel
near Skcrries, reioiccd that all tho b
crew were saved, except four hogs. Z,
heads Of Molasscs
A country editor, in speaking of q
steamboat says, "she hid Twelve
BERr'is in her ladies' cabin" "Oh, (;
life of me! exclaimed all old lady. on d
reading tho above) what a squallins
there must have been!"
ga dreadful little for a shilling
said penurious fellow to physician, I
who dealt out an emctic: can't you 3
give moro?"
Mother, can't go and have my
dagierrcotypc taken q
No, sness it isn't worth whilc.;'Fs
Swell, then You might let me have \
a tooth pulled; never go anywhere
A gentleman asked little boy iii 4
London, "What occupation docs your
father pursue fof living?' He an
swcrcd with great simplicity. .ile is.5
dreadful accident maker, sir, for the !
newspapers!
"Well, Toby" said his honor to al,
old negro who had been hauled up for
stealing pullct: ".!what have You to I;
say for yourself?" sNotfin bnt dis
Boss: J was rs crazy as a bed b,ig
when | stole dat ar pullct: COS mito
hab stole Gle big rooster an nehar tdnS
it. Dat shows 'olnsivcly dat was S
laborinG under dc delirium heme,s-Ss
douS :" ~
"Why do you set your CUP of coffGe
on the chair. Mr.. Jones 2" said 4, S,yor. 4
thy landlady one morning at breaR 81
fast. s.. 4
"Itis so very weak, ma'am," replied
Mr.. J. demurcIy,"i thought I:wolildES
let it rest" S:1s 3.ss s5s u
| 4 D,rpppeNoe A EEaIioux s,raikin,sS