The Cedar County advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1856, 1854-08-12
Stems.

PlscAroBrAL ADvlcE.-When you GO
a, fishing, be sure to take bite, before
you 60, as you may not get one after
| wards.
pN- The free States pay into the
Treasury Of the United States, after
meeting all expenses Of the Pos, Offices,
and the transportation Of the mails, with
in their borders, the sum OF 81 ,54S.O 600.
The Slave States fall short of meeting
the expense OF the Post Offices, and Of
carrying their mails, IN the sum Of 1886,
600.
Know NorHuScs.-An election took
place in Chambersburg Pa, for town
council last week. Regular whig and
democratic candidates were in the field,
but gentleman who had no, been known
as a candidate received nearly all the
votes and was elected. Every one. in.
GLIDING himself of course was as,onish-
| ed.
bJA good deacon, making an Of
fetal visit to dying neighbor who was
a very churiish and universally unpopu-
lar man, put the usual question:
Are you willing to 60 my friend !?
oh, yes said the sick man. 4 am
WELL said the simple minded dea-
con, Il am glad you are, for all the neigh
bors are rilling.
An Irishman, who was near sighted,
and about to fight duel, insisted that
he should stand six PAGES nearer to hi
antagonist, than the latter did to him,
and they were both to fire at the same
time. This beats Sheridans telling fat
man who was going to fight a thin one,
that the latter's slim figure ought to be
chalked on the others portly person, and
if the bullet hit him outside Of the line
it was to go for nothing.
Force or ArrEcrIoS.-'Goodm mint to
pinch you, Sal, said awkward Josey, on
his first visit to his rustic fame. VIVA,
you want to pinch me for, Ezekiel e.
'Golly cause | love you so!' Now, go
along Zeke, you great hateful should
think you nigh, be big enough to feel RI
diculous.
EI@ The desire to be loved, is human
nature in its purity. 1t is the first i'm
pulse Of the opening heart, and i, lives
and breathes in the person of all until
the hour Of death.
sNT A man passing through Masil-
lion, Ohio, recently, noticed the entire
population uncovered, whereupon he took
off his hat likewise, and enquired the
name of the distinguished dead to whom
this respect was shown and was told that
hailstorm had riddled all the windows
in the town, and the hats had the places
of the panes. The stranger scratched
his head, restored the beaver to its place,
and walked off musingly.
no. A little girl, of three and half
a year, in the middle of moonlight
night, awoke her mother very carefully,
and babe her look upon the floor, saying
at the same time in the sweetes, voice,
See, there, ma, the moon is sm,ling on
the carpet
A fellow named Parker was last week
caught in the act Of running off with his
neighbours wife and horse, near Nachit-
oches, La. The jury-mostly all old
bachelors dismissed him on the woman,
but held him on the horse.
ia A gentleman by the name OF
Slaughter, being subpened as witness
in case pending in Court, and being
about to marry Miss Lamb, writes to
the Court that he cannot attend as a
witness this Court, as he expects to
Slaughter Lamb next Sunday
eJ An editor in Iowa has been fined
two hundred and fifty dollars for hugging
a girl in Church. Daily Argus.
Cheap enough! We once Rugged a
girl in church some ten years ago. and
the scrape has cost US thousand a year
ever since Young america.
sar Many persons complain of be.
ing pestered with bed bugs. l, is easy
to avoid the inconvenience:
On going TO bed strip off your shirt
and cover yourself up from head 10 foo,
with boiled molasses. Let every part OF
the body be covered with il.
On coming to bite you the bugs will
stick fast IN the molasses, and you can
| Kill them IN the morning.
! The RICHEST YEr.-At one Of our
hotels on Tuesday, gentleman VINO had
not been there extensively, provided
himself with cigar from the office, and
after smoking il half up. returned il, say.
/ ing that he had used it all he wanted 10,
and was going to take a walk; Ii the
clerk heard any one ask for cigar, he
could sell Il to him if possible If not, lie
would like to have !, saved ILL his return
Literal fact.-.New Haren Palladium.
1 VoLrArRR's RIDDLE. What IL the