Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-11-18
Sam stackpoIe,s Adventure.

y
Slackpole TO me one day, when | called
at his house to take the cencus OF the fam
lily. shook my head and Sam proceed,
ed. Il speculate II was a rather awful al
fair and If Sally there would only tell II
you would eXpreciate, certain. was
courtin' Sally at the time, AMI was in love
up to the eyes. But her cid daddy was
opposed TO me out and out. And he was
a slupendous man-the crOsseSt, ugllest
old varmint that ever wore spectacles, and
have often wondered how Sally could
be such a charming little creature with a
crusty old felIer for a father. She was a
magnum gal, at that time, a little faded
now, YOU see, but that's to be expected.
Beauty's only skin deep, but ugliness
goes to the bone.
Well, one day | went to town and
bought whole heap of fancy don's, rib.
bins, beeds, goose-grease for the hair, ct
cetera and so forth. | was determined
to coax her up, and putting my purchase
snugly in a bundle, locomoted towards
her daddy's house true as a rifle.
1t was rayther late when | arriv, old
Scrags was biIiu' sum merIasses candy
for Sally 10 peddle Gext day-lhere bein'
show in town; Sally and her nanny
had not returned home.
The fust thing | done, however, artel
enterin' in aud old Scrags had stared at
me few, was TO sit rite down in a pan
of hot merlasses he'd put on a chair to
cool, which made me jump and howl
amazin'! Ginger bread how II burnt
but as he didn't see the accident, squat
ted on SAly's handbook, what contained
her Sunday bOnnel-nOt noucn'-and
went to rubin where il burnt like sixty
SIX. Well, arer Id sot spell groanIng
to myself, and wonderln how much
damage I'd done, the old man gave me
another terrific look and sed :
"Sam StackpoIe, what have you come
here arler-say -
MIR. Scrags," sez |, not DARN TO stir
for fear he'd dlskiver my perdlkament
I've come on mighty important bizzi.
ness. % Lordy! how that merlasses
smarled, and if you'll just keep your ebe-
nezer down for about five minutes, Ill
endeavor to inform yOu with that degree
of accuracy that | AN SO PreemineDty
and conspcuousIy developed.
The old fellow didn't understand sich
powerful language, and in course he didn't
say nothin' SO | Kept as easy as | possi-
bly, could and went on:
"Perhaps," sez.I, you've noticed
that are been pain numerous atenshuns
70 your daughter, an | am gratiGed to
stait, with minute popularity. Now, e.
you'll give Sally 10 me I'll vote for you
lor Goyernor,and scud my country if you
amt elected.
Well, ar!er delivered myself in lha! ar
benevolent style, what do you think the
old codger's reply were g.! why, instead
of sain' lake Sally and welcome" he
actually pinted TO the door and told me to
scatter | vow got out of patience then
sure, and didn't care what occurred-iI
S4Ily's bonnet was smashed.
"Scrags," scz |, Il should be happy
10 obIdge, but the fact is, sot down
here, and can't leave, nohow, unless you
cut a hole in my irowsers."
When the old man seed how | was stuck
fast, as | sed, he just ketchCd up the hull
pot full of hot candy off the fire aud emPu-
ed all of II rite on my head and shoulders,
true as Tm livln' boy Jehu how the
stuff made me cavort and holler: but ]
vas SO mad that | grabbed great COB
and left him have il bIH-rLte between The
eyes.
There, take that" seq |, "you old
dappered piece OF 4eformIty! and then |
started of for the door, direct.
iist got il open ready 10 dart, when old
Mrs. Scrags burst out IN laugh and Sal
lv spoke for the first time.
"Sam SLackpoIe," sez she, "ho!d my
handbook and your pantaloons are annex
ed -
"JerusaIem " sez |, and IeaPed. J
must been awful skeered, Tor | landed al
least twenty-six feet outside the house,
and ran like prairie on fire. never
looked behind me till next mornln', and
when did the kIver OF the band-DUx y d.
er sucken' 10 my lrowsers.
That was my merlasses candy adven-
ture Squire, and right hot worA :! ~as-
but married Sally at last. The Old mar
give IN after while, aud nov you can
recon up the sInsUs as quick as you please.
A fellow was Ened forty dollars by the
police court OF Detroit, Uu AIoudal, Inr
whipping his VILE TIE second night alter
marriage !. ln default Ul payment I've &" as
- -. 4 a., ..,,. III -