Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1854-04-27

J
when it was the custom for large girls and
larger boys to attend district schools, and
when haggellations were more common in
schools than at the present time, an incident
took place in neighboring town which is
worth recording rs reminiscence of school.
boy days. One of the largest, plumpcst and
fairest girls in school happened to violate
one of the teachers rules. The MASTER Il
prompt energetic man of twenty-five, at
once summoned her into the middle of the
floor, and, as usual in such cases, the bust
ness Of the school ceased, and the attention
of every scholar WAS directed to the girl,
who, it was expected, was to receive severe
punishment. After interrogatng the girl a
few moments, the master took from his desk
huge ruler, such as we seldom see. now.a
days, and commanded the damsel to hold
out her hand. She he$tatcd, when the mas
ter, in blaze of passion thundered out
Will you gire me your hand 2" Yes
sir, and my heart too!' promptly responded
the girl, at the sare time stretching forth
her hand to the master, and eyeing him with
a cunning look. A deathly silence reigned
for Il moment in the school.room; a moist
spot was seen to glisten in the masters eye
the ruler was laid upon the desk, and the
bluslring girl was requested TO take her seat
but to "rernain after the school was dis.
missed" In three weeks after the school
finished, the school lmaster and the girl were
married.-PaImer Journal.
~.>---
A PoETIcAL GENIUs.-ln well known
city, poetical genius was hauled up before
magistrate for kissing a girl and kicking
up a dust and the following dialogue ensued:
Magislrate-Is your name John Jay!
Prisoner-Ies, so the people say.
M.-Was it you that kissed the girl and
raised the alarm!
P.-Yes, you. honor, but thoughtit it was
no harm
M.-lou rascal! did you come here to
make rhymes :!
P.-No, your honor, but it will happen
sometimes.
M.-Be off, you scamp, get out of my
sight.
p Thank'ee, your honor, then I'll bid
you good night
ETuIorIAN PnILosopHY.-"M Mr.. Crow,
can you explain to de subscriber why dat
'lcious vegetable called de nutmeg, neber
comes to maturity {"
Never comes to maturity?
eyes; why dey am always small po.
tatoes %
Why dey always small 'taters 2"
Yes, Mr.. Crow. Why dey neber get
to be some punkins?
Why dey neber'-
"Yes, yes, Mr.. Crow. Why don't de
nutmegs, as class, grow large instead OF
always CROWN small p
"No, Julius Cesar, don't know muffin
about it. You mus AK some gardener man
about vegetables"
sc We'll, Mr.. Crow, kin tell you why nut
megs, as class, don't grow large. It's he.
cause ebry individual nutmeg knows dat de
largest nutmeg in dc world am liable to
come across crater :"
--e.>--
DUTCH ArFEcTIoN.--( (Scene-A country
store-thc usual number of loungers seated
upon the counters. Enter
A Farmer" Good morning, Mr.. Jones,
Mr.. Jones' Good morning Square
Bixel, a fine day that"
Squire" Yah! Have you any Of dat
stuff dey put on dare hats to wear to fu.
nerals ?"
Jones.-Yes Yes! You mean Grape"
Squire" Yaw Yaw Grape"
Jones'" Yes, we have the article. How
much, Squire!"
Squire" Oh, shust enough to go round
my hat" holding it up.)
JONES'" There it is Oh! Who's dead,
Squire?
Squire" De old vomany'
Jones.-"You don't say so--the poor old
woman gone home at last. I'm sorry You
will miss her indeed"
Squre.-"Yaw, Betsey's gone. I'd sooner
lost the best horse in my stable-shc was
such good old tifel to work. Pick.
JULIUS, was you ever in business!
In course wasp