The Trinity times., 1854-12-23
Getting Fits" In II Clothing Store.


Nehemiah speedily selected a nice blue
coat aud vest oGgreen, but he was more fas-
tIdiouS IN his choice of pants, these crownlng
gIories OF bis new suit. lie seemed TO in
dulge weakness for long pantaloons, and
complained that his last pair had troubled
him exceedingly, or, as he expressed it,
"blamedly." BY hitching up over his boots, and
wrlnkling about his knees. Nehemiah delved
away impetuously amidst the stacks of two or
three hundred pairs, and finally his eyes
rested upon pair of lengthy ones, real bla-
zers, and with wide yellow stripes running
each way. Nehemiah snaked them out in y
twinklng. lie liked them--they were long
and yellow-they were ust the thing, aud
he proceeded at once to try them on.--Ths
new clothing store had nook ourtaned Off
for this purpose, and Nehemiah was speedily
closeted therein.
The pants had straps, and the straps wers
buttoned; now Nehemiah had seen straps
before, but the art of managing them was a
mystery, and like St. Patrick dilemma, "rs-
qured a mighty dale Of nice consideration"
On deliberaton he decided that the boots
must 50 on first; he accordingly drew ON hi.
bluchcrs mounted a chair, elevated his pants
at proper angle, and endeavored to coax tho
legs into item. He had time of it. His
boots were none Of the smallest and the pants.
though long, were hone Of the widest, tho
char too, was rlckety, and bothered him, but,
bending his energies tothe task, he succeeded
IN inducing the legs mo the "pesky things.n
lie was standing like tie Colossus of Rhodes,
and just in the act OF missing the other foot,
when whispering and slgglng,ln bis nnine-
dlate vicinity, made hinl alive ~ tllv appalling
fact that nothing but a thin curtain ot chinlz
separated him from twcaty to thirty of tho
pretti est and wickedest girls that were ever
ia one shop kehemiah eas bashful youth
and would have made drcumbendibus Of
mile, any day, rather thia meet those girls,
even had he been in full Gess; ss it was his
mouth was jan At the bareposSlbility q max
ing his appearance amongh them in MIS- pre-
sent dishablls. What ii tsero was hole It
the curtain. What if It shdld l9i' 1t weuld-
mt bear thinking Of, and punf'ng his feet ia
the vacant leg, with sorir frantic loose
ness, he brought On the Wy catastrophe ha
w.- 80 naxlous 10 avoid. lac char collapsed
with sudden ~scroucii' poiIing Nehslnian
head over heels through til curtain, aud he
made his grand entrance anng the stitching
diyinities on oil tours, ike teltered rhino-
ceros.
p.shaps Collier hTn8elf lyer exhibited n
more striking group tabeau yiyantes thaE
was now displayed. Nehenlh was mo
del, " every inch oi hun, andhough not e1-
actly "resolying Oh . pedestal he was going
through the movement qui as eilceIualIy
on his back, kicking, plungin in stofs, per
soniiying ia thirty seconds u The attitudes
ever chiselled!" AS for he gals, they
I'D .,l
the outing board, threw thu hands over
their faces, peeped through heir fingers,
screamed again, "they should ie they knew
they should.'
"Oh Lordyp blubbered 10 distyessed
young 'un don't hollor 50, gls, doSt.
dldnt 81 te", swar TO lnaa ! 'dh't, It's all
owing 10 those cursed trowseI, every unite
ont. Ask Yer boss, he'll telyou how il
twas. Oh, l.ordy, won't noboy kivcr mo
with old clothes, or turn the wod-boI over
met Oh, Moses IN the bullruaes, what'M
Nancy sayI"
lie mauagea to raise himself in his feet
ano make sPlurge towards th door, but
his "entangIing alllaneesn tIipsd hm uP
again, IA he fell "kerslap" upa the ho,
goose OF tbs pressman. This ws the pn-s
kndesi cat OF all. The gooss hadbeen boat
ed expressly for the thick cloth sans, and
the way II szzed into the scat o the new
pants was aiillctiug TO HE wearq. Nehe-
miah rll up IN an instant, aud s,zeing the
source Of all bis troubles by the slick he tsrs
hi rsell ifoc from all save the straps and
some pantet-llke fragments that lang abous
his ankles, rs he dashed through Tie door oG
the emporium, at "a two forty pace. n ehe-
niah seemed to yearn with the poet, for y
lodge IN some vast wilderness" ane bylray-
ed a settled purpose 10 fee from tle busy
haunts VI mem" for the last seen OfhiM he
was caperlng up the rairsad--evtgiBz like ~
scared rabbit, the rays Of the declining sur
ilIckerlng aud dancing upon broad erpanse
Of shirt tail that hultered gayly in tho breeze =
An lac headed for tho nearest wood - Bossos
Yankee BLADE.