Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1854-07-15
Going Out West.

Evening Post, for the benefit of those desi-
rous of going West. 1t is worth reading.
JACKSONVILLE, ILL.,, March, 1854.
Mr.. Editor:-In your paper are some en-
q~uiries about the West, made by men in the
East, which shall take the liberty of tran
scribing an d replying to in my own way
The article, ii appears, was copied from the
New-York Tribune, but as | first noticed it
in your paper, | send you the reply.
To my personal knowledge; the West has
been Hooded with such queries, for the last
twenty years, until we are heartily tired of
them. We know by experience that if we
tell the truth in the matter, about the agri-
cultural facilities of the West. not one in ten
thousand of all those who live in the East.
and have never seen fifty miles from home,
will believe it: of course, ii is a matter of
indifference TO many what they believe.
The first question comes from Cambridge
port, Mass, and reads as follows:
(Which is the best time for going West,
spring or fall?"
The best time for going West is when you
have the most money about you, and zeast
for losing il. If you come in the spring you
are sure to shake yourself to death with the
ague before fall. If you come in the fall
you may live until spring if you don't freeze
to death before you get there. If you come
at all, you had better get your stomach lined
with waterproof cement, so as to be able to
digest corn bread, bacon and whiskey, for
this is all we have to eat, except a few
French frogs and billious-looking tadpoles,
which We catch when the river is down.
Second What part Of the West
is the best to immigrate to. taking into con-
sideratin the healthiness of the climate 2"
A variety Of opinions about that, my dear
fellow. Our Senator, Mr.. Douglas, says Ne
braska is the best. So it is: if you want to
go into the stock business, raising an unruIy
kind of mixed cattle, that will stray to Cana
da, in spite of the compromise of 1850, 1920
or Senator Dougl's. Or, if you a to spec
ulate in papooses, white scalps, or get your
W scalp taken off scientifically, 60 to Ne
braska by all means. If you want to play
poker for a living, or set up whiskey drink
ing for a business, live on corn bread and
bacon week days, and slippery elm bark
and tadpoles on Sundays: come to Illinois.
If you want to go where they don't have no
Sunday or nothing to eat, only what they
brought from the East: go to Iowa or if you
want to go TO grass, go on all tours, and do
as other kinds OF cattle. go to Salt Lake.
Third question-"D Does the fever and
ague prevail much in Wisconsin,"
Of course it does. Nobody out West is
fool enough 10 ask such a question. Every
body shakes: even the trees; you can't coax
a crab apple to stay on, when it is good for
anything; it will shake a man off the bed,
kick him out doors, and shake the beadstead
at him until he gives it up.
Fourth question-"How long does pre-
emption hold good?"
That depends on circumstances. If you
have a good rifle, and know how to use it,
you have one chance in ten that you may
live till you starve to death. But if you
can't stand fire, and are not a good shot and
a quick one, take my word for it, you had
better larry in Jericho until your beard be
grown they are all much too smart for you
up in that neck of woods.
Fifth question-"Is land to be had in the
northern part Of Ohio for $l;25 per acre, and
is it good?o
That's all fudge, got up by spectators to
gull some green horn like you ans me, for
to the best Of my knowledge and belief; Ohio
was worn out ten years ago. The whole
business of the railroads in warm weather
is TO carry back persons who have been fools
enough to come West. All the railroads are
doing this winter is carrying dirt into Ohio
out of Michigan, to raise a few beans and
oats, to keep the folks from starving 10 death
next summer.
As 10 the land in the northwest part of
Ohio it is eighteen inches under water most
of the year, and will probably be worth one
dollar and a quarter per acre when water
snakes and copper-heads bring as much per
barrel in the New-York market as potatoes
are worth per bushel in in Alton.
And lastly, he wants reliable information
short article IN your paper relating TO
the subiect-and he wants to go to a healthy
location, decent land and fair water.
Exactly! Why, my dear sir, there is no
such thing as reliable information out West,
unless pou pay well for it. A lawyer won't
tell the truth unless you give him five dol
lars, and then you can believe half he says.
A witness won't tell the truth in court,
you first scare him half to death and
make him swear that he won't lie, and he
nor any body else knows whether he tells
the truth or not. The preachers call US an
inveterate set Of sinners; but from what |
have written you, you must know that we
are a pretty good sort Of people.
If you ask a miss of stout, blooming sixteen
for a kiss, she pettishly says no, when every
body knows she means yes, Of course.
On the whole, if you feel obliged by our
article, SO do I. If you want TO go to
a healthy land, stay at home, and don't be a
fool like myself and come out West. And,
as for decent land. my dear fellow, what do
you mean?-You must know that all our
wild prairie is very indecent, especially
it is burnt over and left as naked as it
born. IT'S true, nature ave a sort
Of fg-leaf apron every summer out of a
coarse kind of grass, but it soon gets burnt
OH, and is as indecent as ever.
As for fair water, we have none, it is all
. bilious composition of mud, dead buffa-
loes and rotten rattle-snakes.
Our common drink, when WI can't get
whiskey, is one-third coffee, one-third prai-
RE mud and tobacco juice.
Upon the whole, if you have good water,
and can get enough to eat, stay where you
are. Yours truly PETER PILLMAKER.
P. S.-Jacksonville was formerly in Wis
but . big freshet 1oated most Of
The houses down twenty miles south Of the
Illinois river. and stuck them on a high and
dry riige, We expect the next rise in the
will take US down to old Kaintuck.
SENATOR EvERETr.-The Utica IN. ~
Daily Observer quotes the following extract
from a speech delivered by Edward Everett