Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-03-04
3TB0H0U3,

liam Henry, no If all your panIaIoons
were lined with gold, I'd still say no !!
Gathering Jane! ave pity! Call to your
minds heye the many 'apPy days that's
parst-the slrolls we've 'aG-lhe sparkling
waters of the noble 'Udson--the waving TO-
liage of the Pwak, and more than all, re-
member my devoted love for you y Dung
man. 'ad YOU permitted me, | would ave
spared YOU a pang of hanguish f; but now
in your mental hagony, reccoIIect you
brought it on yourself. William Henry,
| love another" MAY all that part OF
his existence yich bears any similarity 10
molasses, or sweet, be turned 10 bitter
call NAV he experience all the tortur
that feel now and at last, ven lie
weary pilgrimage draws 10 a close, may he
rush TO meet a fate to vich mines ENJOY
ment. Farewell, Gathering Jane, fare
well !" A splash follows, and silence
ensueS silence that is soon broken by
the sound of oars rattling in their oarIocks.
A voice from the wilderness shouts forth
"EIlo there; darn your nightcap, vot are
YOU dom on The craft apprenticeship
/ Ilhen-oh, horror-turns again upon It's
course. Its inhuman guide has discover
ed that William Henry is in no great
danger, Gol he had jumped into shallow
water.
/ 4 wacgish member of the Rhode Island
Legislature plumes himself upon the wise
legislation which he says has settled the
liIuor question III that State ; comPro-
/ mise TO which both sides have agreed.
VIZ: "The Temperance men have got the
{ Maine law, which is all they want; and
everybody has plenty of rum which is all
they want.
WITTY REPLY.-"What are you going
to give me for Christmas PRESENT. ask
ed a gay damsel Of her lover.
al have moth ing TO give but my hum
ble self" was the reply.
"The smallest favors gratefully recelv.
ed," was the merry response OF the lady.
81: you say another crooked word I'll
knock YOUR brains OUT said blacksmith
to his termagant wife.
Rams horns, you dog exclaimed his
hopeful helpmate, rams horns, II | die
for it,
Fanny Fern is down on female physi-
clans. Hear her:
IL prefer prescriptions written in mas
cuIine hand; sban't submit my pulse TO
anybody that wears a bonnet.
An ODD PREscRIPTloN.-An Apothe-
cary's boy was lately sent TO leave at one
house box of pills, and at another SIX
live fowls. Confused on the way, he lelt
the pills where the fowl Ill nh niarc %a
g"ne' T r az anu WHO SfG received the fowls were
atstonished at reading the accompanying
directions" Swallow one every two
hours"
Dick says about the prettest sight 10
behold is an accomplished woman, after
she has upse, and broken her lamp, gath
ering up the fragments and wiping up the
oil.
HUsH by BABY.--Some constables in
/ Maine entering house on "liquor law
search found woman rocking cradle.
( Not finding any thing Of the "crller" they
sought for, one of them more cunning
than the rest, made snatch at tie cradle
clothes, cxclaiming, sweet little baby
how much il looks like It's father and
behold the little offspring turned out TO be
a keg of rum What will the woman do
! that loves
DoN'r CARE A BIT-An Irishman go
inc TO market met farmer with an owl.
"Sav mishter, whatlI you take for yer big
eyad Turkey :
at is an owl, yo baist,' replied the as
tonished farmer.
"Devll bit do care whether it is oulJ
or young, price the bird ye sPaIPeen.'
How do look Pompey!' said young
dandy to his servant as he finished dres-
sing.
Elegant, massa; you look bold as a
lion.
Bold as a lion, Pompey How do yo1
know You never saw liOn,'
~, yes, massa, | seed one down TO
Massa jerks. in his stable
Down to jerks, Pompey Why YOU
great fool, jerks hasn't lion; that's u
Jackass.'
Can, help it, ma;sa, you look just
like him
NlGmT MARE.--The way 70 raise this
animal is very simple. Fifteen minutes
before bedtime cut up one dozen Of coll
boiled potatoes, and few slices OF cold
boiled cabbage, with FIVE or SIX PIeAIei
cucumbers. Eat heartily, and wash down
with a pint Of brown stout. Undress anu
,anp inio bed. Lie fiat on your back ~
about half an hour or thereabOuis you VIII
dream ihal the devil is sitting on your