Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1854-06-07
UMOROUS STORY.
From the New York Dutchman
HANS LUDWIG'S DAUGHTERS:
on, HOW HARRY WHITE GOT HIS WIFE.

OR, HOW HARRY WHITE GOT HIS WIFE.
BY W. J. JONES.
In the interior of the good old State Of
Pennsylvania, where the medieval customs
OF classic Germany are still in vogue, there
dwelt farmer ycept Ludwig Kramer, whose
ancestors, some score or two OF years agone,
had cleared and rescued from savage wild
the capital farm upon which he dweIt.
Ludwig rejoiced in the proprietorship of
two daughters-young, buxom, and WE'LL
favored-and in the old mans opinion.
they were the ne plus ultra of rural damsels.
and whether they would make good wives for
farmers or good farmers for wives, he would
be fortunate man who might win them.
Blanche was the eldest and prettier of the
two, but katrine was the old mans pet, and
either OF them, in agricultural matters, as the
ed IanKees, for they esa-sssss..s;.s ~
or hoe potatoes, curry and tend the horses,
milk and stable the cows, pick geese, and, in
fact, were adopts in almost any department
in farming affairs.
1t was in the Autumn of '48 that Lud-
wig was elected Trustee of the School Dis
trict in which he Gwelt, and if you had been
in Mosquito Valley about that period, you
might have seen Dutch farmer in exstaces,
such as your optics cannot ofsen witness; for
our friend was not only trustee, but by unan-
imous consent of the board was appointed
examiner of all candidates for the important
station of teacher Of the rising generation in
the district, at twelve dollars and half a
month, including Saturdays. Well omit
any account of the great feast given by Lud-
wig, in honor Of his election to office; and
we won't specify how many hundred quarts
Of cider were drank how many chickens
were deprived of their heads, or tell of tie
consumptiono of smearkase, apple butter, saszss-
kroat or dough-nuts; because the tonnage Of
a hundred Dutch stomachs, or their elastic
properties, are irrelevant to the subject. We
will transport our hero to the school house,
where five candidates were in attendance to
: undergo the scathing ordeal Of an examin-
3 alton as 70 their attainments, according to
, statute. Ludwig was rugged out in but
ternut- brindle coat, of homemade stuff with
7 peaked coat tails and brass buttons, shock
ingly stiff stock, and very coarse muslin shirt
e collar; and as he walked up to the desk and
= took his seat, fanked on either side by {
Y couple Of associates in office, the five candi
i dates seemed to consider thatthey'd be sub
It ected to a very stiff overhaung in the rudi
+ ments.
e Now den,' says Ludwig, you first felle
e dere, NIT your face all kivered nit bimple
e like sthrainer, shust write your name OF
r dis piece G paper. Wat is dis, Yonathal
is DooIittle! Well, shust sit town till kl
IL ready to ak you philosophy. Now ten, 3or
Is next feller, init cork k-shkrew eyes and yale
N hair, shust write wat your taddy called 20
at when you was poy. Chedetiah Shnit, eh
IS Well, don't bodder me now. Cum on, 70
feler dere, NIT pig nose, and tell wot you
to mutter called you when she licked you NIT
IN shingle. Wot is dis, Chon Brown ? dat
~ goot. Next feller, mitout any hair on tt
~. top of his head, write your name down.
I'D Cherry Bryan, is it? Well, now, you goC
ly lookin chap nit pink cheeks and plack viii
kers, what dey call you, chg
ce Harry White, sir
to OATS goot white is always better
of prown. and you is ter pest lookin' of de-
to felers, so shust all stand in row NIT yn
re, at ter head, and axes you ter spellin' al
mt and philozotfy, and cheograf.
er- Now, Ten, Mishter Harry, shust tell
ect wat is ter rule of addition I?
WE'LL says Harry, guess it is the art
lg increasin'.
er- 'Goot, by golIy. Now, you oder fell
red what is hidrofoby! and speak quick, mi
, it out stumbling
= Be gorrah, an its something that d
ice be throubIng dogs whn the hot weatF
!he comes, so it is, sur replied the candida
1us who was fresh from the Emerald Isle.
out 'Yaw,. well, YOU can shust take your
om- hat and 90 off NIT yerself, hidropoby me;
ct; water, and you knows nothing about Y,
uty business at ALL
the Next, wat is philosoff1 und if you dt
A tell right mitout sthoppin,' den send,
ard, of mtout certifikit.'
8er- Well, sir, technically speaking, philoso
the implies love of wisdom.