Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-07-20


idly trained rebelIed agains. me with SUCH
violence as to deprive me of reason. Fol-
q momen, stood up and faced the frs
wild flood Of grief. But the struggle was
fearful; and the storm sca,hed me SO terri.
bly, that gave way beneath it, and bowling
my head on my breast, wept as man has sci.
dom wept, and as hope never to weep a.
gain and live. A lingering death on the
rack were far preferable TO an hour of such
existence.
am confident the paroxysm of grief did
not last over thirty minutes; but in thai
brief space lived an eternity Of anguish J.
When ] became calm again, | was an alter
ed man. In that half hour had lived and
suffered more than ordinary men lived and
suffer in life time. feI, as though long
and dreary ages had rolled over me, and scar
ed.and shrivelled up my limos. soul. No
wonder my friends stared Q. me, when !
wen. out from my room, as at thing Of hor-
ror. So complete change had that shor.
space OF time effected in my looks, thoughts
and feelings, tina, had completely los. my
personal identity; and when any one adj
dressed the by my name, ! shrunk from
him with az much dismay as the Hebrew Of
old shrunk from the eper. Tha. numbness
of feeling which follows violent grief had
taken possession Of ell my faculties, and
moved here and there mechanically, per-
fec'ly Indifferent to surrounding Objects
Had ! been one Of those persons SO keenly
sensitive of pain or pleasure as to be affect
ed by every trivial event, i, would perhaps
have been better for me, for then would
not have survived The shock. But some
are SO constituted that at times the senses
Of touch, taste and feeling become SO blum
ted and insensilive, as 10 render their pos
SCISSOR Indifferent, reckless and desperate.
While in this fearful condition, those who
are deficient in The moral sentiments can
commi. suicide, murder, or any crime with
out the slightest compunclion not from
any inheren, vlleness, bu. simply because
they need some violent excitement to con.
vince them tina. there is s,ll vitality linger-
ing in their paralyzed systems. To this
class belong bu. fortunately for me, my
imal propensi,ies, and render me capable OF
resisting all evil impressions and influences.
Il. rs unenviable condition remained for
weeks, and gradually returned to conscious
ness, like one recovering from state of long
torpidty. 1t was many dreary months, how
ever, before my faculties r'ganed their O.
riginal aculeness and vigor, and during ell
this time ! was unable to fully realize the
fact ha. Dora had been taken from me for
ever, and tina. my heart was again desoIate.
The gloomy winter q. length passed, and
when the spring came with its blue sky and
balmy breezes, genial glow began to per-
wade my frame, and incline me 10 mngle
with, and lake part in, the pursuits end en-
gagements Of my fellow men. Since then
have travelled much, and have made many
new friends and acquain,ances. | have al
so plunged deeply into business, and became
engrossed with its cares and perplexilies.-
| pass among the crowd for a cool, calcula-
ting individual, possessed Of an amount OF
knowledge surprising nv years; and but
few who, from my acquaintance, ever OBJ
tain glimpse beneath the exterior Of my
character, or fancy for moment that |, who
am so collected and philosophic under every
emergency, have ever been an e1lhusas,
and dreamer, and the victim of such ter
rible nfaiualion.
Ye,-and ! am almost ashamed to con.
Tess it-,here are still times when | reason
myself into the belief that my Dora could
not have been altogether an ideal :; and then
do wander off 10 seek amongst grassy
hooks and beds Of modest wild flowers fol
the spo. where they have laid her. For
know they would make grave for one
who was so lovely, in some quiet, oul-of
she-way place, where none bu, the fares
flowers bloom, and where the birds MARBLE
only their sweetest notes. But alas seek
in vain !; for the ideal Dora, and her quie
grave, have never existed save in my imagi
nation.