The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1854-05-17


his seat, scotched, but not killed"
A MINISTER, while preparing his next Sun
day sermon, stopped occasionally to review
what he had written, and, as n matter of
consideration seemed to require improves
mont. While doing so, he was accosted by
his little son, a child about three years of
age. Father, docs God tell you what to
preach!" "Ccrtanly, my child" Then what
makes you scratch it out!"
icy Pretty woman is a brilliant poem, full
of rhyme, sentiment, and all manner of illus.
trations. When .bound" in ono's arms, she
increases to several volumes.
wA little girl was three years old was
told by her sundy school teacher that We
were all made Of dust. Arrived at home,
she looked in her mothers face, with an
anxious enQuiring glance, said: Ma, has God
got any more dust left!' why, my daughter!
what makes you ask such question:! Cause
if he has, | want him to make me little
brother
The following horizontal musings of
loaing tipler deserve to be perpetuated.--
Hear the wall:
Leaves have their time to fall,
And so likewise have Il;
The reason, too's the same
1t comes of getting Dry;
But here's the dificrence'twixt leaves and me
falls "more harder" and more frequentlec.
AFFECTING.-A" lover" received the fol.
lowing note, accompanied by a bouquet Of
flowers
DEER send u bi the boy bucket of
fours. They is like my luv for u. The
mite shaid menes kepe dark. The dog fenil
mcnes am ure slave.
"Rosis Ted and posts pail @ y,
My luy for u shall never fail"
A. LAwYR's OvEy.-A Scottish noble
man one day visited lawyer at his office,
in which, at the time, there was a blazing
fire, that caused the nobleman to exclam,
Dear sir your Office is as hot rs an oven
$50 it should be, my lord replied the law
yer, 'as it is here make my bread
The Texas Herald says there is gentle
man in Pamela who delights to show of
before bis ncighbors with his stock of
scientific information. Upon being asked
his opinion as to the origin Of the cotton
worm, he elevated his eyebrows, assumed a
look of wisdom, and replied" The fatula
of the cotton produces fozis, and goes
through system of fozation, fozates and
brings forth the cotton worm"
SIMILAR VIRTUES AND VrcEs.--People will
despise their own virtues. and censure their
own vices in others. No body laughs ut
the folly Of another so much as fool; no
man believes another so little as liar: no
people censure the talkative more than great
takers. Misers daily condemn coyetuous-
ness and squanderers rail at extravaganza
in others. IL one lady calls the chastity of
another in question, she gives suspicion OF
herself
sB- One of the best illustrations of sy-
arice we ever heard of is that contained in
an old caricature, which represents Old
Nick carrying n miser down 10 his regions
and while on the way the gripus is making
propositions to his majesty to supply him
1 with Goals.
WWe heard good joke once of q
! party of young fellows who found fault
with the butter on the boardng.house table
"What is the matter with it? said tho mis-.
tress Just you ask it, said one, 1T is old
enough 70 speak for itself
WHILE passing group of young marble
gamblers the other day, we heard new
version Of Scripture. Sware not at all, y said
We to Slubbering chick who reeinp out
oaths with the energy of mature years. Il
warnt swering Mt nll on em--oDly at the
black c--ss who hooked my marbles, Boo
oo-oo"
Love one human being purely and warmly
says Jean Paul, and you will love all. The
heart in this heaven, like the wandering
sun, see nothing FROM the dew-drop to the
ocean, bat mirror which it warns and fills.
A servant. made, who was occupied in
picking her mistress's cabbage, took the OF :
potunety OF cabbaging her mistress's pick.
les, saying i made no difference.
He that bath a trade, hath an estate; and
he that hath calling bath place Of profit
and honor. plow-man on his legs is high.
or than gentlemen on his knees.
II seems that names may be effected and
ever changed by the state of the weather
The late Mr Suett, the comic actor, going
once to dine about twentS miles from Lon.
don, and being able only 10 get an outside
piece on the coach, arriSed in such abedrag-
gied State from an fincessant rain and 40
muilied up In great coats and hanksrchicfs
that his friend inquired doubtingIy, !. Are
you Suett." "'.No, replied the wag. In pRIp,
PiRcp .'7'
STATUS QUo,--During the war ofs8l2,
an old gentleman who was always on tbe
alert to obtain tho latest news from the
army, made his usual Inquiry Of a waV.
The latest news from the army replied
The wsg, "is that they are In stetne quo.
: AZ -5how fare that from Mcntrca n
asked The gcutieman.