The weekly Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1852-1855, 1854-12-07
R9oS or nnow-No;hings.
CHAPTER II,

Frank, whose surname was Pierce, it came
TO pass that great signs and wonders were
manifested unto the people of the East, and
the official wise men thereof took counsel
together for the sake Of the loaves and the .
fishes, and promised to feed the multitude
thereon with the crums that might per-
chance fall from their luxurious tables.
2. And when these signs and omens
sppesred in the East, behold the Post Office
tocsin was sounded, the great camp bell
was rung, the sacred seal of the Republic
was broken, the letters Of the Know
Nothings wore intercepted. and their con-
tents published throughout the land. The
hosts assembled themselves together in
the vast regions extending from tEe ATTAIN
tic even unto the lakes. and from the lakes
to the utmost boundaries of fYankee-land.
5. The fugitarians and the barnburners
were there flying in overy direction, en-
deayoring to fan the flames Of discord a,
mongst their opponents The subjects of
emperors and kings. together with the Pa
pal hosts, were there, armed With torches,
brickbats. and revolvers.
4. And il camo to pass that, in this
great council were assembled the whites
and tho blacks. the yellows and the greens.
in all their pristine verdancy, just fresh
from the Emerald Isle. And when the po-
litical coat Of many colors had been for
time displayed as sign and token to the
multitude, behold the people chose unto
themselves leaders and captains Of the va
rious tribes.
6. And amongs! the various tribes were
ha L.. IL
Hardi.os and tho Softitest, tho WilmonitSs
and the Anti-rentts, the Toetotalites and
tLe Liquoritos, the Woman's Rightsites q
tho Fillibusteri!es, the Wellerites and .he
Spiritualites; and lo! aud behold! in one
promiscuOus mass were to be seen-of va
rious colors and OF both sexes--the Abo-
litionists, the Amalgamaionists. the NOR.
monists, tho Fusionsts, and the Delusion'
ists. OF all the kindreds and tongues and the
nations Of the earth
6. And the captains and leadcs Of thu
Collar Hosts numbered all that were abl,
to go forth unto the polls; but suspoctini
many whom they had hitherto counted q
their own, charged them, as they valued
the boots and spurs Of oftheirlawfully mount
cd pastors and mastcrs,to vote on the grsa
duty Of election against those invsibl
Philistinos, the Know Noihihgs. and brick
bat them wherever 20 eau find them, sal
they, that we may know for surely ths
70 still near the eoltdr.
7. When 10, each Of tho bond men VII
had worn that talismanic scapulary froI
time immemorial cried out unto his leadO
with loud yoice--"Am not l thine as
upon which thou hast ridden ever since
was thine unto this day." and have ] ne
boon ever ready to pray for thee in th
grsat day of strife; and dost thou now, a
ter such long series of faithful service
suspect me? Whenhis leader being re-a'
cured of the loyalty and orthodoxy Of b
vassal, said unto him: Nay, verify, / wi
again write thee down mine ass!
8. And it came to pass whom the di
fercEt tribes from beyond Jordan wei
brought before the judges Of the land to 6
their CERTIFICATES Of right Of inheriIan'
thereof,sthat the mon Of law put unto the
divers questions Of doubtful import:-tl
tribes Of the Van-ites OF the families Of B
rem, being non-committals, answered und
them with ono accord (when itsuiied the
purpose of non non-committalism, Nicks-fis
loyl whilst tho Vantes OF the family
Knickerbocker being more ingenious, a
less cautious committed themselves mt
egFegiously:
whsn answering 70 ths men sf law
Bysaylng nchS, Instead ofyaw
Or, knowing nAught Of BurOn's tricks,
BY saying yaw, instead Of nieks.
0. But when the tribe Of tho Dan.i
Of the family Of o. Connell, and numero
other tribes aud families ofthe O's and I
Macs, were asked by tho men Of law
they were friendly to the government Of
United States, and would support tho cc
atitution thereof. answered unto them 81
ing; Faix and by the powers, though
is not for the likes OF us 10 say it, yet
are all good dimocrats. and love the d
lint government; and We will do more Il
all that, we will fight for the Pope and {
Church, and the constitution too, proviG
that samo heretical thing wont harm
holiness and the prasts, and prevent III
from receiving the rinss, and keeping tn
unto themselves.
10. How be il, the tribe Of the Yank
tics ofthe greatfamily Of Know-Nothin
madO their invisible appearance on the ,
hills and valleys, and plains Of the East.i
in the benigpant spirit Of brotherh
kindly advised the Van-ites to learn
English language, and study well the c
stitution of the United States, that they
their posteri.y may become citizens of
great republic, and worthy recipients o
blessings.
H. Inasmuchas the Yankeoites, ,Kn
Nothing Of the ulterior designs Of the D
ties. nevertheless (being good at guessi
they said unto them. we have no oh
tions toyour Democracy. and love Of
government, provided il be practic
manifested by your deeds, and diyeste
that blarney and rich Irish brogue
which you have hitherto been so pre-
inently distinguished. but We view ,
suspicion, and have serious objection
your belligeraut propositions with res
70 the Pope and the Church and guess t
70 be works Of supererogation with W
the citizens Of this free and enlight
country can very we'll dispense.
12. Now i. came TO pass in those
that fierce strife ragged in the East. ev
the Great Bay STATE, the Cradle Of Iii
the hattla was fouyht tho Oreat agony