Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1854-01-16
How to Treat a Husband.

IOuS Vi Jul iuouy papers, the 11CE,
gives the following directions for the man.
agement Of husbands: IA husband ought
to be considered as horse, with the mar
rage bit in his mouth-hence the word
bridal or bride. II the wife hold the rib
bons judiciously, he is easily driven about,
even In the most dangerous parts of Broad
way, such as Genin's Stewards, De Forests
and Taylor's. The whole science consists
in your being able to manage your animal,
| mean husband, so skillfuIly, that after
driving him about New York constantly
for eight months, from store to store, he Is
yet able and willing tn carry you down to
Saratoga, to spend the Summer. An &C.
complished wife should be able to assume,
like the moon, every phase of fascination !;
butswhateyer shape she assumes should be
bright one, from the crescent smile en-
couraging the bashful husband, to the full
moon gaze of tenderness, which is pay ment
in full for some Quintus Curtius act of i'm
notation, such as diamond necklace, or
new damask bed hangings. Never waste
your smiles upon your husband let him
earn them arms {al,ns) giving is bad, it
discourages industry what we get for
nothing, we despise. When husband is
generous, dispense your smiles upon him |;
but be careful not to overstock the market
kisses may become drug, like corn,
Goals, cotton, calico, rhubarb, patriots, and
poets. A wife's happiness consists on her
nervous system-a nervous system cannot
be healthily supported without being fed
upon soirees, satin dresses, rosewood couch-
es pretty Mysteries, opera sofas, hectic
coughs, and violent sobbings. We have
known vile who screamed herself into
set of rosewood furniture, and languished
SO. day by day. that at last, when dying,
she found herself in Fifth Avenue pal
ace, which had SO beneficial an influe nee
upon gal!oping consumption, that she re-
resolved to give over dying, and live for
twenty years to come. One word more
dear wives, and have done. Above all
things avoid that last French fashion coup
detats--they are dangerous to politics; ia.
tai in marriage. You may indulge in one
before wedlock-(by the by. there is no
club TO pick that lock, excepta chubby
boy)-but these strokes Of State, as Lord
Palmerston says, are not exactly fitted for
the United Strtes Of Marriage. Marriage
is the real spirit of the Ring, and when we
say this, we intend no reference to the
spirits Of Aldermen Ring--we only mean
that the wedding ring is the magic CIRCLE
out Of which, like Cospar in Der Frei-
chutz,' it is terrible difficult to escape. A.
bove all things, dear wives, let me warn
you against letting your husbands have
their own way, even though only once
that once may be fatal. Tigers, when they
have once tasted human blood, crave after
it necessarily, and are ten times 6ercer
than before. can assure you, my dear
wives, that tiger is not half 90 ravenous
and unreasonable beast as husband.
beg the former noble animals pardon for
the degrading comparison. Welded hap
piness is founded upon the ariom that a
woman cannot be wrong. She has never
yet been SO from the days of Eve, and new
er will beat all events, It will never do
for woman to acknowledge it; the wo-
man who makes that suicidal admission
will be considered as the Judas Iseariot Of
her Sex. Fare well-my dear wives--now
you may go and tease your husbands.--
NlcoDEMus OF HoBoKEN. P.S.-Always
select the most expensive articles. and the
most useless-they may be wanted"