Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-11-02
YAR1ETY.
nar ANnrnE oYsTERs.

Pat having jus. been transplaute1, haa
been sent BY his master 10 purchase hall
bashel Of oysters at . quay, but wasapsent 80
long. that apprehsnsious were entertained
a. IA safety. lie returned at last, however,
. nuffIpg under his lead in the most musical
style. II, .,.;.5
bis master II.
Where have been 7why, where should
! be.l To fetch The oysters. Hk
And what, in the name Of Ss.iFatricK
kept Yen 50 long,
pretty quick, considering all thIngsE
considering what thingsP
sCansidering what things! why, eensid-
erine the cutting Of the fish, to be sure
sGuttfng what fishp
what fish, why, blur-an.ovls, the Oys
tiers
what de you mean
What de / mean Z why, lmeani that as
vas resting down torment the flckieu nsl-
ring, having dhrop 70 comfort me, a g,n,
tleman axked me what I'd got ~ my sack.
Oysters said
Lets look at EN- says he, and ne opens
,he hsg Och thunder and praties,' says
2 lie, who sold you these
Tt was Mick Carney says l. aboard inc
2ol Doodle smack. 80
Mick Carney the thief Of the woiii =
WIZ blackguard he must be to give them
TO yoAYithout cutting
Amt hey Quilted 2 says /
1Misehis 4 one, says he
Der says "a ia sooner dsIit myself
than see you absed
s And 50 he tskss'e EN- in doors and CUTS
them nate and clean. as you'll seei opening,
skefA same time showing his bag Of oyster
snsa :. Vt -sre as empty as the head that
uafss -. - srba- qrarsesi- An ugly hele in TIE
ont Of
ez-It is the basest Of passions 70 like uha
We have not, and slight whatwe possess.
Many poor man could build bous,
over his head with the price Of the cigar
and tobacco he has used.
Es<Thsy who drink away their estates
drink the tears Of their widows and the yer,
blsoa,of their impoverished children.
Hs-A western editor, after mature delib
Grafton, has come to the conclusion tha
sShakspere was . smart writer
Es-Young attorney-A useless member
Of society, who eften goes where be has NJ
business to be, because he has no bnsinel
where be ought tob be-
Br Notwithstanding tho proyerb TIA
poverty is no crime yet man without mon
ey is invariably set down BY the world as on.
u, devoid Of principal
GrWAen is money damp7
Give il up
When It is dew in she morning and mis-
ntnight
Vel, that is On orful Preparation
E.Your charity, dear lady, cried q beg
gar, the other day.
II have no small change
Then, charming madam, give me you
beautiful lily hand to kiss
4 No friend, there's half crown fer you.
Ls-Your friendship is very dear TO me, a
the merchant said, when be had to pay fol
his: endorsement for his neighbor.
SCENE IL THE iTcHEx-A woman max
ing bread-Enter little boy
Il Little Boy. Mother, it strikes me 20,
are very lazy just now
Indignant Mother-'HoW dare yen say
se2-Don't you see, I'm making bread p
!. Little Boy.-sTrue; but that's neither
more nor less tkan lOaiing,'
II Hz<A Clerk in i mercantile establish
inent writes to his friend at home: sPla
\ guey easy times noW-a-dAys-very little Worl
/ to de--our firm don't advertise I
rA person who undertakes to raise him
81 es sasdaliy iag others. might e Hsll 81
nnce, said I thought YOU were dead q
Pus sad the ether, yen see me alive, ,
uont know how Ahat may be- replied he YOU
ale : notorious liar, aud my informant vas !
Is-sAdan, said an old man IA n. 80,
4 Eoala bs on the Eve Of giving you nv
Cain we're Abel
Ihe editor Of the Springfield Renpb.
Ilcan thinks the prize baby at the Ohio rs.
BY Show wasn't any great shskes.s and -.
he's got > little girl At home who 4 but e;.bt
months cid and weighs IS pounds Tbs
Albany Transcript editor, reading he abovg
. exeialns, there's family organ for you
KrA poor fellow having got his stp,,
irsctured, was told b the Doctor that ~
brain vas visible, on which be remarked -
70 write to tell father, for lie always svors +
had none s1o1e
EzrA son Of Erin caution. n. ,,l,:.
gaiass herboring Or trusting lis wife Pes.v
on his account, a ks Is net nsarrIirf s 80
c. p a Glasgow papes describing M
ue4s1s .ss :.. % the fair sex Of that c;f-
ladies hanging on the lips cf one mar a5sf =
- Beautiful Is tie love. .1a 49,.
Hiss Of . sisier bnt if yen haven't . 1919. &c
n1ney, ~ yeuF eouzin-it int nush rorss