Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1854-09-13
From The Richmond Dispatch.
Niagara Falls.


DEAR EDfToR-~I have been TO Niagara, you
know-Nagam Falls-Iig rocks wa'er Ioan'
Table Rock, Indian ouTiosites, squaws, mocasIhS'
stuffed snakes, rapids, wolves, Clifton House, sus-
pension bridge. pluot where the water runs swirl,
tile ladies innl, scream and eet the paint whSneu
of their faces; where tile nrslOpIalc lnunh iauleS
sii OH the dirt aud make little bags, where oil Tie
inhabitants swindle slrangeTsi where The cars go III
hurry, the walters oil impudent, and oil the small
boys swear.
When came in Sight Of the suspension bridge,
was vividly impressed with the idea that twas
some bridge, in TACT, considerable curiosity, aud
a considerable bTidge--took glass Of beer and
walked up 10 The ilils--nnotheT glass OF beer aud
walked under the Fallsj wanted another glass OF
teer, but couidn'l get IL walked away itom the
Fails, wet through, madi Triumphant, victorious
bumUug! --humbugl sir all humbug! except the
dabbliutss OF everything, whcbisa most polnnO!e
certain y mud The oupidiiy Of everybody wlhchis
dabollcal fact, and The Indians und nlggeTs
everywhere which is Saipmc truth
Another glass OF beer--'lwos lorlhcoming--m.
mvdialely--also another, oil OF which drenk,--
then Proceeded TO drink gloss Of beei,
went over To The States, wlleT6 | procured
glass Of beeT--went up stairs, for winch paid
sSpence, went over TO Goat lsnnd, lUr which
dis6uEsel twenty five cents, hired guide, TO whom
paid hill dollar, --SneeZed IOut times ut niLG
cents a understanding ON the tower for quar-
lei OF q dollar. and look at the Fulis-didt feel
sublime any, Tried to but couldn't, took some beer,
and lIied again but lailGd-dTOnk glass OF beer
aud began To iee beIet-thought the waters were
sent for atd were OH jouGneytO ----, thought
tue place below was one sea oil DeeE-7was going
TO Jump down aud get sOmr-guIde held me- sent
him over Ia tile hotel TO get a glass oil beef, while
tired TO write some pootIyi result as follows
o thou (Sprdy ~ one eye) awful. (SInnll lobster
in ughl ShUe) sublime (bOtr feet weO mater piece
OF Ummeny what he'd the Almighty. Terrible
and majestic art tlOu IN thy Tremendous might
uw lul (uriuD 10 behold (Crnlnpin my right should
er) gigantic, huge aud nice! Oh, thou that lum-
Ulest down aud nSesi up again In majesty 10 ltnv-
en-lhe glorious pAteut OF q thousand rainbOws-
what huge, grand, awful, terrible, Tremendous,
infinite old Swlndlng humbug you aTei what utG
you doing there, you rapids yOu--yOu know you've
lumbled over the rocks aud can't gGtup Oguin 10
save your puny eGi lencei ycu may make great
fuss, dOn't your
Man came back with the heer, drank II TO The
last drop, and wished there had been gallon
more walked out on tile rock to the edge Of the
fall, WOMAN Un sl.OGe Y,Ty much lTighlened--l
told her not TO get excited II fell over, Os l~Uuld
slep light ul agHin-lt would not Ue muClfOl a
fall anyhow--gOi gl0ssoi beer Of a man, another
Of a woman, and another OF small boy with
rail-hlleen minutes elapsed, wheI purchased
some more OF on Indian woman 4 nd llnOibgd 1t
through straw, 1t wasn't good; had 10 gel
glass Of beer 10 take tue tasle out OF my mouth;
legs Oeganlo langle up, effect OF the spray IN my
eyes, got hungry and wOnIed something to eat !
Went mo an eating house, cnled for plate OF
beans, wien tie plate brought Tue water in
his hand, took II, Lung up my beef aud beans
OH a nall, eHl my lat, paid a dollar TO a mig
ger, and Sided Oul on tile step walk bought
b, yOl glass do with a small beer ami neck on
ns t0ii, with collar with spot on the end-iull
funny, sick--gOl some soda wafer in I'm cup,
drank The cup and placed The soda on the COuultT
ad.pald for The money full OF pocket--veTy bad
headache; rubbed 1t agOinSt tie lamp post and
lhsu Slumped alOng, station house come aud sand
II dd'nt go straight he'd take me to the watch.
man--lried TO oOlg" Station IOuSr--vety civil S'a.
ton house, veGy--ret a baby with an ltislfwomon
aud whCebaHOw int, couldn't get out Vi tile
way, size wouldn't walkOn the side walk; but in.
sisted on gong unbJh sides of tie Sheet al once;
! Tied u walk between her; consequence collision
awful, knocked out The wheulbouows nose, broke
The ltsii woman oil 10 pieces, baby loose, court
House handy, took me lU the constable, jury sat
OH me, aud the jail SAID the magistrate must take
10 tLe tOnsaOlej Obieoledi tile dungeon pu; me
into lie darkest constable in the city; got Out and
here nm prepared TO stick to my urglnil urm
lOn--RmgdrI anus humJug2 non erceisus, non
hldignus ddmiraib0m.
Yours uuqueStOnably,
q. r. PHYLANDER DOESIICS, p. Il.