Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1854-01-25
A LITTLE LECTURE ADDRESSED TO
MY fDEARS,

!
-35asMy dears, love is like chapcery; it is a deal
easier to get into it than to get out again There
are thousands of ways for the former, but as for
the latter it can't be done noways
stake my advice, my dears-neyer believe
man before marriage, and never trust him after
wards. ma "a ,ffI4 FF ftAf
aft men, my dears, were to pay, like servants,
g for everything they broke, they wouldn't be SO
fond OF breaking their hearts for every pretty
Girl they saw. The fortune of Rothschld
couldn't stand, my dears against such ruinous
amount of breakages. Why, have known
mans heart break as often as an American bank,
and yet he would opensthe next day with the
same brass plate on his face, on which you could
plainly read assurnce,' and his heart would 60
on issuing the same false notes as before. Be-
sides, what becomes of all their broken hearts,
should like to know? Where do they all 60 to
Along with the old moons | suppose; or they
3 may be keeping company, there's no knowing
where, with all the pins that are lost, each heart
being stuck through with pin, like the curious
insects In q museum. ~
"There's no need to tell you, am sure, my
dears, about choosing a husband A woman's
instinct generally guides her in those matters
But this | will tell you, that husbands differ as
much as geese but the softest mind is not al
ways the worst. The softer your husband, the
more plable you will find him, and all the east
er for you to twist him around your little finger.
If husbands trusted more to their wives and less
to themselves, there would be more happy mar
riages; but, until they learn what is due to our
sex, and are fully prepared to pay il, that happy
balance will never exist in q household which,
to the husband, should be the source Of as much
Joy as large balance is at the bankers; but at
present the wife is not allowed to have any share
or interest in the one, or to participate in the
other.
81 will conclude, my dears, with giving you
few rules with regard to the choice OF husbands
in general; and though, my dears, have never
yentured on the stormy seas OF matrlmony N.Y.
SELF" (here the fair lecturers voice slightly trem-
bled with emotion,) "still, have watched from
the haven of single-bessedness many of the
squalls and breezes that have taken place on
them, and have derived no small knowledge from
the numerous shpwrecks have witnessed in
consequence of them, and this knowledge am
only too willing to impart to all those who are
anxious to embark for the United States.
81 shall confine my observations, my dears, to
the small circle of my experience of men, such
as have studied them round the tea-tabe.
I" If a man wipes his feet on the door.mat be-
fore coming into the room you may be sure he
will makea good domestic husband
If man, in shutting the candles, snuff them
out, you may be sure he will make stupid hus-
band -
(" If man puts his handkerchief on his knees
whilst taking his tea, you may be sure he will be
prudent husband. @
F" In the same way, almost mistrust the man
who will not take the last piece of toast, or Sal
ly Lunn, but prefers waiting for the next warm
batch. 1t is not unlikely he will make a greedy,
selfish husband, with whom you will enjoy no
brown ut dinner, no crust at tea, no peace
whatever at home. '"
"The man, my dears who wears goloshes,
and is careful about wrapping himself up we'll
before venturing into the night air, not unfre-
quently makes good invalid husband that most |
ly stops at home, and is easily comforted with |
Stops
"The man who watches the kettle and pre-. |
vents it boiling over will not fail my dears, in
his married state, in exercising the same care in |
always keeping the pot boiling. ..,.
g The man who doesn't take tea, ill-treats the |
cat, takes snuff, and stands with his back to the |
fire, is brute whom would not advise you, my
dears, to marry upon any consideration, either |
for love or money, but most decidedly not for
love. r,r'l a.u- 49,.
"But the man who, when tea is over, is discov-
ed to have had none, is sure to make the best
husband. Patience like his deserves being re-
warded with the best Of wives, and the best of
mothers in-law My dears, when you meet with
such man, do your utmost to marry him. In
the severest winter he would not mind going to
bed first"
(1ere the lecturer concluded, and the several
young ladies retired to their respective avoca-
tions) Punch's Pocket Book, 1854.
How Much SUGAR DO WE EAT?-Last year
there was consumed in this country 100000
pounds of cane sugar, and 27,000O0O pounds
of maple sugar. This gives more than twen-
ty-four pounds of cane sugar, and one pound
OF maple sugar to every man, woman and child.
This does not include molasses and honey. If
this sugar was put into barrels holding two
hundred pounds, and each barrel occupied
space of three feet square only, it would require
1896 acres of land for it to stand upon. The
barrels, if placed in row, would reach two
hundred and twenty miles. If this sugar was
put up in paper packages Of five pounds each,
it would require l45,4o9OOO sheets of wrap (
ping paper; and If only a yard of string was
used to each package, there would be required
439, 100000 feet or $4,000 miles of string |
three times enough to go round the earth If c
every retail clerk sold one hundred pounds of /,
sugar each day, it would require nearly $4,000