Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1854-09-02

AUcTIoNEERISG CALIFORNIA. The reporter of
the San Francisco News furnishes that paper with
the following report Of speech made by Califor-
MIA auct oneer:
" Ladies and gentlemen, now have the honor of
putting up fine pocket handkerchief; a yard wide,
yard long, and almost yard Thick one half cot
ton and tother half cotton, too beautifully printed
with the stars and stripes side, and the
stripes and stars on tother; it will wipe dust from
the eyes completely to be death to dcmagogues
and make politics as bad business as printing pa
pers its great length breadth and thickness, to-
gether with its dark color will enable It to hide dirt
and never need washing; going at one dollar?-
seventy five cents?-fifty cents?-twenty-f cents
one bit? nobody wants itch thank you sir!
Next gentlemen, for the ladies won't be permitted
to bid on this article, is real smon-pure, temper
ed, highly polished keen edged Sheffield razor bran
spankln new; never opened before to sunlight
moonlight starlight, daylight, or gaslight sharp
enough to shave a lawyer, cut disagreeabe &C
quaintance poor relation; handle of buckhorn
with all the rivets but two at the ends of pure gold
who will give two dollars dollar half dollar?
Why we long bearded, dirty-face reprobates, with
not room enough on your phizes for Chinese wo-
man to kiss, | am offering you bargain at half
dollar-well will throw in this strap at half dol
laa razor and strap-of recent patent two rubs
upon it will sharpen the city attorney all for four
bits and piece of soap-sweeter than roses Ia
Tiers better than schoomaster; and strong enough
to wash out all the stains from California politi-
clans conscience, all for four bits l-why you have
only to put this razor, strop and SOAP under your
pillow at night, to wake up in the morning clean
shaved, won't anybody give two bits, then, for the
lot? knew would sell 'em.
Next, ladies and gentlemen offer three pair socks,
hose stockings or half hose just you're mind to
call them Knit by machine made on purpose, out
OF cotton wool; the man that buys these will be
abled to walk till he gets tired; and provided his
boots are high enough, needn't have any corns; the
legs are as long bills against the corporation and
as thick as the heads of the members of the Legis
lature; who wants 'em at one half dollar? quarter
ollar?-thank-ee, madam dollar?
Next offer you pair of boots made especially
for San Francisco with heels long enough to raise
man up to the Hoadley grades and nails to ensure
against being carried over by land slide; legs wide
enough to carry two revolvers and q -bowie-knife
and the uppers of the very best horse leather
man IN these boots can move about easy as the
State Capital; who says twenty dollars? All the
tax payers ought to buy a pair to kick the council
with everybody ought to have pair to kick the
Legislature with-and they will be found of assis-
lance in kicking the bucket especially if some body
should kick at being kicked-ten dollars for legs
uppers and soles while souls, and miserable souls
at that are bringing twenty Thousand dollars in Sac
ramento! ten dollars ten dollars !-gone at ten dol
lars?
Next is something that you ought to have. gentle
men, lot of good gallowses-sometimes called sus
penders. / know that some of you will after awhile
be furnished at the States expense but YOU can't
tell which one buy where they're cheap all that
deserve hanging, not supplied with gaows, if
so there would be nobody to make laws condemn
criminals or hang culprits, until a new election
science, and last long as California office holder
will steal buckles of pure iron and warranted to
hold so tight that mans wife can rob him of the
breeches; are in short strong as good as perfect
effectual and bona JSde the ordinance against
Chinese shops on Dupont street-gone at % cents"