The Shasta courier., 1854-10-14
Niagara FaIls---DOesticks ON n Bender.
The following from the n York Post is one of

Niagara Il Falls---DOesticks ON n Bender.
The following from the N. York Post is one OF
the richest specimens of humor we have ever
perused
DEAR EDIroR-I have been to Niagara you
know Niagara Falls big rocks, water, foam,
Table Rock Indian curiosities, squaws, mecca
sins, stuffed snakes, rapids wolves, Clifton
House, suspension bridge, places where the wa
ter runs swift, the ladies faint, scream, and get
the paint washed Oft their faces; where the ar
istocratic Indian ladies sit on the dirt and make
little bags; where all the inhabitants swinde
strangers where the go in a hurry, the
walters are impudent, aud all the small boys
swear.
When | came in sight of the suspension bridge
/ was vividly impressed with the idea that il
bridge, in fact considerable curiosity,
and considerable bridge-took glass of beer
and walked up to the Falls-anolher glass OF
beer aud walked under the Fills wanted anoth-
9 ASS OF beer. but couldn't get it; walk ed
away from the Falls, wet through, mad; tri-
umphant, victorious Misunderstanding sir, all
humbug! except the dabbliness OF everything,
which is most certainty, and the cupidity OF
every body, which is diabolcal fact and the
Indians and niggers everywhere, which is a Sa-
tanic truth.
Another glass of beer-'twas forthco ming i'm
mediately-also another, all of which drank.
l then proceeded to drink glass OF beer; went
over to the States, where | procured glass of
beer; went up stairs, for which l paid a six
pence; over to Goat Island, for which | dis
bursed twenty-five cents-hired guide to
whom paid half dollar sneezed four times,
at nine cents sneeze went up on the tower
for quarter of dollar, and looked at the Falls;
didn't feel sublime any tried to, but couldn't;
took some beer and tried again, but failed |;
drank glass of beer, and began to feel better;
thought the waters were sent for, and were on
ajourney to the; thought the place below
a of beer; was going to jump down and get
some guide held me; sent him over to the no.
tel to get 6 Ass of beer, while tried to write
some poetry-result as follows:
o thou (spray in one eye) awful, (small lob
ster in right shoe) sublime (both feet wet) mas.
teri piece of Gmmeny, what lie, the Almighl
Terrible and majestic art thou i'll thy tremen-
dous might-awtul (orini) to behold, (cramp
in my right shoulder) 81 gantic, huge and nice
thou that tumblest down and rises up again in
misty majesty to Heaven-thou glorious parent
of a thousand rainbows-wiat a huge awful.
terrible, tremedous, infinite old swindIing hum
bug you are what you doing there, you
rapids you-you know you've tumbled over the
rocks and can't get up again to save your puny
existence; you make great fuss, don't you
Man came back with the beer; drank it TO
the last drop, and wished there had been GAL
Ion more-walked out on a rock to the edge of
the tal-woman on shore very much fri ghtened;
told her not TO get excited if fell over as |
would step right up again; it would not be much
OF fall anyhow-got glass of beer of man.
another OF woman, and another of two small
boys with pail fifteen minutes elapsed when
purchased some more of an Indian woman and
imbibed it through straw it wasn't GOOD; had
TO get glass of beer to take the taste out of nv
mouth; legs began to tangle up, effect of the
spray In my eyes; got hungry and wanted some
thing to eat; went into eating house, called
for plate of beans; when the plate brought Il e
waiter In his hand | took it, hung up my beef
and beans on nail, eat my hat, paid dollar to
niger, and sided out on the step walk bought
boy OF glass OF dog with small beer and
neck on his TAIL with collar with a spot on
the end-felt funny, sick-got some soda water
IN a TIN cup. drank the cup and placed the soda
on the counter, and paid for the money full of
pocket-very bad headache rubbed it against
the lamp-pos and then stumbled along; station
house came along and said if | didn't 60 straight
he'd take me to the watchman; tried to oblige
the station house; very civil station house ,very
met baby with an Irish woman and wheel
barrow in IT. couldn't get out of the way; she
wouldn't walk on the sidewalk, but insisted on
going on both sides of the street at once: tried
TO walk between her; consequence collision
awful; Knocked out the wheelbarrow's nose
broke the Irish woman all to pieces, baby loose
court house handy, took me to the constable.
jury sat on me, and the Jail said the magistrate
must take me to the constable; objected; the
dungeon put me into the darkest constable In
the city; got out, and here l am prepared to
stuck to my original opinion-Niagara unus hum
Dug non ercelsus, non indigaus adniralconi!
Yours unquestionably,
Y. h. PHILANDER DoEsTrcKs P r.