The Ohio union. [volume] (Ashland, Ohio) 1849-1854, 1854-01-18
SrissurlrQs.

" Why is the toothache like an un.
answerable argumentl Because II makes
people hold their jaw.
ITThe politician who threw defiance
in the teeth Of his enemies, has been oh.
liged 10 pay a bill Ior dentistry.
" The qualities Of your friends will
be those Of your enemies ; cold friends,
cold enemies, half friends, hall enemies /;
fervid enemies, warm friends.
" The reason why so few marriages
are happy, is because young ladies spend
their time in making nets, moi in making
cages.
Ey' Men are sometimes accused Of
pride, merely because their accusers would
be proud themselves were they in their
places.
" Open your mouth and purse eau.
,iously, and your stock of wealth and
reputation shall, at least in repute, be
great.
~ A modest young lady, on being
asked by a gentleman why she had a COW
ering over her " dressing Bureau" replied!
" don't want TO see its drawerS!"
" A distinguished" Clergyman Of
New York, remarked last Sabbath, that
" neither pecuniary proixity, nor i%nlellec.
tual longevity, nor even both these com
bined, atone for an excess Of moral con.
vexity."
u Somebody-we don't know whom,
but a close observer Of human nature
says:-
"There are not many folks in the world
who would do anything for Gods sake,
if The devil was dead"
tV Punch is a good doctor at times.
He gives the following for the benefit of
wartwearers {: 1t Put your mouth close TO
the wart, and tell il in a whisper that if it
will not go away you will burn il out with
c%austic, Ii i, does moi take The hint, be
as good as your word"
A Paris correspondent tells US what we
consider a good story One of the most
celebrated members OF the Paris bar was
consulted, the other day, by a young
practitioner, upon an obscure point of law
IL cannoi give you a positive answer,
young mnn." replied the advocate; al
have once pleaded one way, and once the
other, and | gained my suil each Time"
" An lrishman, in time OF a revival,
had Joined the church. Some time after.
ward, a piously inclined person was ex'
horting him on the subject of religion
when Pat Indignantly answered:
Sure, an didn't jine the Melhodists
FAX and | did. ! iined for six months
and behaved myself SO well they let me
of wild t%'ree!"
~ Vouce, ven | vas court mine Gate.
rine, | vas gene on my field TO hoe my
potatoes corn. Veil, den ! see my Cate
rine coming der road, so | drinks | give
her a boo; so | climbs up a tree, and shusl
as | vas going 10 boo her, | falls on der
hemlock fence, and sticks pine knot hole
in mine pantaloons, and Catherine vas laff
and make me more shame den a sheep
nit Won tam lief on his pack-lrue as
pork.
~ A little fellow, weeping most pit,
eously, was suddenly interrupted by some
amusing occurrence. lie hushed his
cries for a moment there was a struggle
between smiles and tears; the train OF
thought was broken {: /" Ma" said he, re.
suming his shuttle, and wishing 10 have
his cry out. "Ma-ughl ugh /! ugh /!
what was ! crying about just nOw?"-
Kniekerbocker.
VERY EXPLICIT. Hanse, where was
you born :"
"On de Halderbarrack."
What, always!"
"Yaw, and before too."
"How old are you, then :"
wen de school house, ish puili. | vas
two weeks more nor a year, val is bainied
red, as you go home NIT your pack pc.
hind you, on de right hand side, by de old
~placksmit shop vat stands we're il vas purni
down next.year viii pc Two weeks"
DnN'T MEAN IA recent anecdote
reminds US of a story we have read some.
where Of Monk Lewis, he author, who
was remarkable for extreme sensibllity, so
much so, that he was very easily affected
10 tears. One day he had been 10 pay q
visit TO some duchess or other, and he
came out of the house his eyes filled with
tears. A friend passing, stopped him. and
inquired The cause of his emotion. "0h,"
replied Lewis, in a whining, trembling
voice, "ihe duchess has said so many
kind things 10 me-" Never mind, my
dear fellow" responded. The friend in a
Suothing tone, and paiting the sensitive
man on the shoulder, never mind bear
up under it. She didn't mean IL"
y One Of the best puns of the time
we have met with is this Love Letter oil
a Tailor TO a Maniua Maker:
Remnant of my hopes3 May be