Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1854-01-04
Scene at the Lower Police Court.

One witnesses some odd incidents occa
sionalIy at our Police Courts. Observing
number of persons entering the Court room
yesterday, we followed, and beheld yer,
interesting tableau. The Justice was en-
throned behind an imitation oak desk, an
on his right was remarkably spruce New
England rustic, habited in coat ofthat pc
culiar brlndled hue, impaired by dye com
posed of an admixture of butternut bark AM
copperas. A row Of maple buttons garnish
ed the lapels, resembling set of knobs Oh
lady's bureau, and from his pocket pro
truded the major portion of a 'yaller' sill
handkerchief redolent of essence pepper
mint.
A rosy-cheeked damsel, evidently hailin!
from a point equally near the Eastern hori
zon, was standing by his side, with her arm
thrust through the crook of his own, ant
very much abashed by The conspicmty o
her position. This PAIR were the delin
quents.
Opposite to them s!ood, whip IN hand,
weather. Hibernian cabman, one o.
whose optics wore that incipient purple hue
which Indicated contact with some hard sub
stance, and consequent extravasaton; ir
other words. Cabby had black eye.
The attendant starry satellites of the pre-
cincts formed a crescent encircling the
group.
Murphy, "said the magistrate, for it seem
ed Cabby was a we'll known character
estate your complaint"
"Faix, yer honor; and that same's aisy
done for, whin was dhrivin me cab up
seed that Yankee chap comm up the
sthreet wild the woman on his arrum, and
his mouth wide open like Madagascar
monkey afther ateing rotten cocoanuts,
whin-"
"Never mind comparisons, Murphy, in
terrupted the benignant magistrate, "pro
ceed with your statement
"Well, sir, axed him would he ride, and
he said, 'av coorse he would; and meself
was clever fellow for invitin him Wild
that, he and The young woman jumps in me
cab, an | TUX 'em to Twenty-ninth street
and thin, when he got out, and axed him
for the tin shillin's, himself perpethrated
sal! an batthery on me. for my throuble,
and gev me this lick on me eye"
''Now, sir" said the justice, turning to
the Yankee, "What justification have you
TO offer for this assault''
Yankee Strengthened himself up, and e.
iecting with precise aim large quantity of
tobacco mpregnated saliva within hail s
breadth of the Justices well BACKED boots,
SAID, Look here, Judge, yew see me and
Almiry here. Almiry's my gal, Judge, al
low me to present you:-Judge Whats-his
name-Miss Almiry Peabody; and rotten
happy to see yew tew. Well, me and her
come down from Springtown, sixteen mile
east of Bangor, to get some weddin Exins,
a new hat for me, and new dress for her
rale Girafy plaid, eighteen yards; because
yew see, Judge, bustles aad Aounces is all
the fashion tew hum. Wall, this feller AK
ed US to ride, and as alters give neighbors
a lift goin to mill or to meetin', | thought
he was kinder civil; so we got in his darn
ed old smoke-house on wheels, an rid up to
cousin Jerushy's. Do yew b'lieve, Squire,
he taxed me ten York shllllngs Tor lt-dId,
by thunderp'
A little explanation as to the custom of
hackney vehicles of this town, opened Yam
KEGS eyes to the necessity of opening his
purse, and he finally compromised the mat
ter by paying two dollars, upon which the
cab-driver relinquished further proceed
ings.
As we came away, we overheard him re-
marking to his dulcinea, "Say, Almiry;
that air pull knocks me out of that beaver
| calculatin' to buy. Pity, aint:
"No matter, 'Diah; YOU must have the
hat; reckon twelve yards'll make that
frock. | can get along without flounces."
"Swan tew man, Almiry, you look so all
fired tarnal sweet, yew shall hev the fioun-
ces, hustle and all. This here hat'll dew
~ Y. Jour. Com.