The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1854-10-04

As ain evidence of what the girls can do when
they have a mind,a Cincinnati paper states that
three Years ago a poor orphan girl applied ana
was admitted to set type for that paper She
worked two years, during which time she earned
besided her board, about two hundred dollars,
and avtailing herself of the facilities which the
n%rintinp office afforded, acquired a good educa-
cation She is now an associate edltress OF a
popular paper, and is engaged to be married to
one OF The smartest lawyers in the state OF Ohio.
Such a girl is bound to shine and eclipse tens
of thousands who are educated IN the lap OF
luxury. and taught all the accomplishments OF
the bdardine school. Such a wife will be a
Jewel tb her husband, an ornament to society,
an bonbr to her sex and her country.
T. WIS q iudicious resolution of a father, as
well ag a most pleasing compliment to his wife,
when, bn being asked what he intended TO DO
with hAs girls, he replied: Il intend to appren-
tice them all to their excellent mother, that they
may leta1n the art of improving time, and be
fitted I'd become, like her, wives, mothers, and
heads If families, and useful members of So
ciety." -
A pleasant call-"Dinner's ready, if you
An unpleasant CALI just called, sir, to
see if ybu could settle my little BILL"
A CLERGYMAN catechising the scholars IN a
Wisconkin1 Sunday school, asked little boy how
he thoIght Jonah felt while in the whales
belly? "Pretty well down in the mouth, sir
was th4 prompt reply.
An e%xouisi:e compliment was paid the other
evening" to a lady in our presence. She had
lust swiE Flowed a petite glass Of a wine, as a gen
tleman In the company asked for a taste.
ut ii all gone,'' said she laughing, "unless
you will take it from my lips"
Il shhuId be most happy" be replied, "but l
never t;lke sugar with my wine!"
A Nc JOEL C1ERK.-Young man-'I called
to see about tile clerkship you advertise as va
can't"
Old Gent.->tHcm! Have you gold watch
and chsin, a fast horse, a diamond ring, six
suits Of Iclothe$:, a bull dog, a thousand cigars,
acask OF brandy and an assortment OF canes?'
"Youhg mah.-Yes, sir, got 'em ALL"
O Old Gent.-"Then you'll suit. My other
clerk furnishcd himself with al! those things out
of the till, so as you're supplied III save the
expense#I;"
The P~{ttsburg pa Democratic Union is an
swerable for the following: Why would it be
unchristihn-lik for a woman to assume the part
of a mani? Because she would become a he,
then.
Mrs. Darlington is anxious to know, if the
compass mas a needle and thirty-two points, how
long it wall take a woman with such a needle
to make u shirt;
"Mr. Smith, don't YOU think Mr.. Skeesics is
a young man of p~arts?' decidedly SO Miss
Brown, lie is part knave and part fool"
At ab5arding house where pork was a stand
ing dish, one boarder remarked to another that
he had eaten so much of it that he feltth bris-
ties commencing to grow on his back!
An irritable man went to visit a friend, and
asked hilh concerning his health. The patient
was so III that he could not reply; whereupon
the other. in a rage, said, Il hope that | may
soon fall bick, and then l will not answer you
when YOU visit me-.
Most ladies' think it is the summit of misfor-
tune to b. ugly. This is a mistake frequent
". The Echanccs are, as the world goes, that
homely W. nen are altogether the best at heart,
head and soul. A pretty face often presides
over a false heart and a weak head, with the
smallest shadow of a mind.
There I~certain]y do exist persons endowed
with feelings SO keen that they seeza g1f92 OF
divine pr4phecy-intuition that guard The sozl
with watchfulneys, which but for sheE- waG51 IT
bruised and ~trampled9 under foot By a@e rude
multitude. Arg these feelings the tho@gara OF
our guardian ar gels, the golden spears with
which they hedge US in from haFnz I know
not, but il is certain that no eyil-minded being
even came near me without my feeling 4 thrill
Of repuls5on, certainly as light springs from
fame.
A prize for the best conumdrum was offer
ed at Burke's benefit at Sacramento, and the
following won it over fifty competitors: "Why
is a Chinaman the most wonderful of all living
animals?' "Because the head and tail sprout
from the darne end"