Monongalia mirror. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1855, 1854-08-26
ONE GLASS TOO MUCH:
Or, The wife's Night-Cap.
ny NIX IN DER WOODS.

Or, The Wife's Night.Cnp.
ny NIX IN DER woods.
Mr.. 80, who doesn't live more than
a mile from the post.office in this city,
met some "Nurthern friends with South.
ern principles" the other evening, and
in extending to them the hospitslities Q!
the Crescent City, visited 80 many Of
our principal Saloons, and "Marble
Halls" imbibing spiritual consolation as
they journeyed, that wheE he left them
at their hotel at, the midnight hour. he
felt decidedly felt, that he had "a brick
in his hat Now he has q wife, an ami
able, accomplished and beautiful lady.
who loves him devotediy, and finds but
one fault with him-that is his too fre-
quent visits TO the palaces where these
/ !" bricks are obtained. = "
After leaving his friends, Mr.. -.
paused a moment, took his bearings,and
having strapped a course on the princi-
pie that continual angles meet, made all
sail for home. In due course oftime he
arrived there, and was not very much
astonished, but rather frightened, to find
his worthy lady sitting.up for him. She
always does. She smiled when he came
in-,hat also she always does.
"How are you, dear E 3" she said
y,n s,a;d out an late feared Won had
been taken sick" Nhr
"Hic-aint sick, wife; b.but don't
you think I-Tm a little tight 3. a5
"a very little, perhaps, my dear-but
Ishatis no,hing; you .hayeso many friends
as you say, you must join them in q glass
ouce in while"
wife, you're too good-,h.'he truth
lis, | am DID drunk"
"oh, no, indeed, my dear-rm sure
that even another glass wouldn't hurt
you. Now, suppose yoa take glass o.
Scotch ale with me, just as nigh,-caP
dear!"
I "Yon are too kind, my dear, by half
! know Pm d-arunk.'
"oh, no-only ajulep too much, love
that's all"
"Yes j,ju;iuleps-McMasters make
such stiff 'uns!"
"WeIl, take q glass Of ale, at an.
!. rate-it cannot hurt Won, dear; | wan
; one myself before ] re,irc!' II
The lady hastsned 10 open the bottle
and as SHE placed two ,umblers betor
her OH the side. .buard she put in one
: very powerful rme,ic. Filling the glus
Us with The framing ale, she handed on
to her husband. H07 s ~
Suspicion came rlondily over his mind
She never before had beemsok kind whe
he was drunk. He looked at the glass
raised ito his lips-hesi,ated.
: Dear, won't you just taste mine, L
, make it sweeter % cG a
! "Certtinly. Loves" replied the lady
/, taking mon,hful, which she was ser,
t careful no, to swallow.
Suspicion vanished. and SO did ,th'
: ale, emetic aud all, down thelthroat Il
: the satisfied husband. After splitting qu
the taste, the lady finished her glass, bu
. seemed in no hurry TO retire.. She ike
!. a foot.tub Of water before aiieasy chair
: as if she intended to bathe her beautifu
little feet But small as were those fee
!. there was not water enough in the ~
J. to cover them. The husband began 7
: feel, and he wanted to retire.
await oaIy few minutes, dear" sal
7 his loving spouse: ." want to read tn
J, ne ws in this afternoon's Della. lfoun
), ); it in my pocket" '
. A few minutes more elapsed. and the
and then, o ye gods and Dan o III
Lake, what a time! The husband wa
! placed in the easy chair. He beganst
! understand why the tub was there; b
soon learned what allied him. Suffice
! 10 say, that when he arose from lhs
chair, the brick had left his hat.
hasn't been there since. He says he
9 never drink another julep; he can't be,
J. Scotch ale, but he is death on lemonade
q He,loyes his wife better than ever.
! Reader, this is q truthful story. Pr,
. sby, its moral. .-.tl.i
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