The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1854-11-01
VARIETY

girl stepped into shop, where a spruce
young man, who had long been enamored
Tut dared not to speak, stood behind the
counter selling dry goods. In order 10
remain as long as possible, she cheapened
everything; at last she said, Il believe you
think | am cheating you'
Oh, no. said the youngster, to me you
are always Jair.'
WELL whispered the lady, blushing rs
she laid an emphasis on the word, i
would not stay SO long bargaining, if you
were not so dear
a teacher one day endeavorinp TO
make pupil understand the nature and
application OF passive verb, said "A
passive verb is expressive of the nature of
receiving an action, as Peter is beaten.'-
Now, what did Peter do =
well, don't know answered the boy.
Pausing a moment with great gravity, 'he
hoilered.'
@ We have discovered proof posi-
tive OF the existence of Know Nothing
organization in the year 33. In the COS
pei of st. John, eleventh chapter, verses
And the Romans shall come and take
away both our place and nation
And one Of them named Caiaphas,
beng the high priest that same year, said
unto them, 'Ye know nothing at al.'
ES- The following cure for the gout is
taken from an rld work:
'First-The person must pick a hand
kcrchief from the pocket of maid of
iltty years, who has never had a wish to
change her condition.
Second-IIe must wash i in an honest
miller's pond.
IhIrd-He must dry il on parsons
hedge who was never covetous.
Fourth-He must send it to doctors
shop who never killed u patient.
FIfth--llemust mark it with lawyers
ink who never cheated client.
Sixth-Apply it to the part affected,
and cure will speedily follow
EF Some idea may be formed of the
extent to which thieving is carried on in
San Francisco, from the fact that during
the month Of July the property stolen
amounted in all to about eight or Ten thou
sand dollars.
1" The constitution Of the only mill
tary company ever attempted to be organ
Ized in Nantucket, began with the follow
ing article:
Article l. In case Of war, this COM
pany shall Immediately disband.
~ The Chinese call prickinc con.
science a hedgehog with all the horns
turned inwards.'
~ 4 can marry any girl please
said ayoung fellow, boastingly.
Very true replied bis waggish COM
panion, for you can't please any
re- When you hear man ostenta-
tiously lamenting bis defective edueation,'
lis sign he thinks himself II devil of
fellow for all of that.
~ A young lady of our acquaintance
is SO exceedingly modest that she will
wear no roses in her bosom, unless they
are blush roses. Her modesty exceeds
that of another } young lady who refuses to
wear her watch in the same place, because
it has hands.
EE Socrates being very old, and af
flicted with indisposition, was asked how
he did.
Well he replied, either way; If re-
cover, said he, 4 shall be envied by many.
II l die, | shall be praised by many
ET Why is drunkarI like bomb
shell. Because tue moment he is out of
reach he is 'on bust
GI- Many perso ms are now anxiously
examining the maps to find the seat Of
war Fubbs says he found it last sum
mer without map. The discovery was
made by sitting down upon a yellow
wasp's nest in a hay field.
EE A German prince, in dream,
seeing three rats-one fat, the other lean,
and the other blinI--sent for celebrated
bohemian gipsy, and demanded an expIa-
nation.
The fat rat said the sorceress, is your
minister, the lean rat your people, and the
blind rat yourself ? l
kD- Choose not your wives, as you do |
grapes, from the bloom on them.
IBehold sight worthy Of the Gods, a /
good maa eontosding with an advese
isgtuus.