Smyrna times., 1854-08-23
Sflistellaneous.
He Didn't Take the PAPERS.

AAS Jan y ! tAG IH0 FdpETS,
Exciting times these" said we to our neigh
Dor Slow, after running hasty glance over the
late foreign news.
"Eh J" said he, as il he didn't exactly under
stand.
About the war IN the East, we mean"
. Hadn't heard Of It. What's it all about!
Well, the Down-Easters always was quarrel
some set of folks
30 1t isn'; th y who are fighting; its Tur-
key and Russia Aud England and France have
declared in favor Of Turkey. Napoleon has
sent quite a fleet"
Napoleon! Why, thought he was dead
long ago. The history says So
:" Yes, but this is a nephew Of his-Inuis
Napoleon they call him. He is the Emperor of
the French"
"Why, thought Louis Philippe was the
Emperor! ~
Yes, so he was but he's dead now.''
"Wcll, that beats all -
"ltSeems," we continued, that the Nebras-
ka bill has been disposed Of"
"Hung, suppose you mean. Well, l am
! glad Of It. lie deserved it,"
"What for - asked we puzzled.
"Why, anybody that will keep dozen wives
deserves to be disposed of, as you cal, IT.
"What do YOU mean y
"Why, isn't this Nebraska Bill the same fell
low I've heard tell of, that has set up for pro-
phet somewhere, and married dent know how
many wives!'
40, no, that's quite different man, Brigham
Young, and lives up in Utah.
Then, who is this Nebraska Bill, anyhow 2"
at isn't man at all. It's law proposing
to annul the Missouri compromise"
80, said Ar Slow, in manner that show
ed that he was still somewhat puzzled. We'll.
| suppose Daniel Webster had something to sa V
about that. He's great man, Daniel.''
:" So he was, Mr. Slow, but he is not living
now.'
dead Gracious, you don't say so. When
did that happen -
About year and a half ago.
"a yearand half ago! And never heard
OF 1t. III have to tell Polly of that By the
way, where is your brother now ~
He's in Washington. We heard from him
half an hour ago. He had Just arrived there at
daylight this morning"
"HOu don't mean to say that a letter came
from Washington in half an hourl"
No, OF course not. The news came by tele-
graph,
"Telegrap ph -
"fes, It doesn't take over a minute to come
that way"
How you talk! Five hundred miles in a
minute! But you're joking!'
"Jokng, Mr.. Slow. AssuredIy not. We
thought, OF course, you understood the rapidly
of the telegra9 9h."
Then it's rue! Five hundred miles in a
minute. Well, that beats the Dutch. must
tell Polly of that"
Mr.. Slow, we want to ask you question. -
Certainly, as many as you like
{" Do you take the papers r'
"No, | don't; but what makes you think o
that!"
1--WE thought you didn't. We should thnl
you would wish to do 50, in order to get the
news
; 40, get the news as quick as most folks
! hear the people talking about it, and learl
S it in that way"
e "And yet you hadn't heard of the European
war! I"
; well, no, didn't happen to hear of that"
"Or about Louis Napoleon -
"Why, no.
: "Or the Nebraska Bill, and the death q
Daniel Webstsr!' ~
= "No; butt
; "Or the telegraph ~
mo. That beats all. Five hundred miles
S minute! Your quite sure g"
> 40. yes"
, "Well, | must run home and tell Polly tha
= Won't it make her Stare?"
Ls And Mr.. Slow forthwith belied his name b
e walking rapidly home, full of the inteligenc
e which was to overwhelm Polly with surprise