Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1854-06-10
USEFUL AND AMUSING VARIETIES.


/ sue de locomotive, and git five thousand dollars
for her, vich ish more dan she vas ever wort. I
wish had ten wife dat on der car ven ter rail
road plow'd up. Put didn't have but one, and she
ish done kilt and don't knows we're to get anoder.
Dere yos little fraulin dat / knows at dat as
fat ash putter pal-but she sh got anoder hus-.
band and don't know to look"'
(Hans apostrophizes the body of his wife, ~ :.
cob! mine dear vrow, ash looks at thy cold
pody and Sc dat thine soul has We'd, could weep;
put ou hast gone to the far off land of spirits and
know dat if thou art as fond of them as thou vast
here, thou art happy; therefore, does not want
thee to GENE pack, for den they would take pack
mine five dousand dollar again. Therefore, ash der
poet has it,
"Shleep on mine love, 5-.
Sheep der long shleep dat knows no waking!
Thou have gone der place where der lost ones go.
And have leave mine heart a breaking"
WHEAT PROSPECTS. There has been, perhaps,
more than the ordinary amount of croaking during
the past winter at the dismal prospect of the grow
ing wheat crops. From the representations of the
croakers would be led apprehend great danger
of famine which would make it necessary for the
people of Ohio seek out Egypt for supplies.
Some have supposed that this impression has con-
tributed to the present inordinate and exorbitant
price of breadstuffs while others have attributed it
to the prospect of general European war. What
may be the of the great advance in the
price of provisions, assure our readers that we
apprehend no cause for anticipating a famine. We
INDUCED in drive into the country some days ago,
and assure the timd never saw the wheat pros
pcctmore promising at this ofthe year. There
will be plenty of grain raised in Ohio this to
supply the inhabitants of four such States there
is no danger of starvation. As to the present high
prices the causes assigned are sheerest humbug.
The true explanation unquestionably is that the
present stock of provisions has been bought up on
speculation, and the market now controlled by eastern
operators" Those who hold until after the
coming harvest will probably be done for'-and so
mote it be! We have sympathy to waste upon
such as burn their fingers in gambling upon 1.-THE
tafoflife." Columbus Journal
A VALUABLE REMEDY The New Haven (Con.)
Palladium says:-We are able to record another
of the complete cure of erysipelas by the SIM
pie application of the raw cranberres, pounded fine
The patient was young lady, one side of whose
face had become much swollen and n1amed, that
the eye had become closed and the pain excessive
A poultice of cranberries applied and after
several changes the pain ceased the inflammation sub
sided, and in the course of couple of da1s every
vestage of the disease had disappeared. The case
occurred in the family of of the editors of the
Palladium, and therefore vouch for it's truth.
A conductor on the road from Cincinnati to Ham,
ilton nice little girl in the cars, whom he sup
posed under the rate of half price for children,
and returned her half the amount rendered, with
remark to that effect. "Half fare, ha, ha. Why,
do you take me for girl?" Certainly, Miss,
less your looks belle you very much" 4" Well, then,
if they do, l am married; and that Amt ALL have
got baby, six months old" Excuse me, Madam,
but it strikes that whatever I may be to-day,
you full up with the lme table, if not just lit
tie ahead I'll take full fare and no charge for the
baby"
THE LITTLE FRExcuMAN We pick up a good deal
of fun now and then, says the Dutchrndn, in omni-
buses. In going up Greenwich street the other day,
We had for a fellow passenger Frenchman-a brisk
little fellow elegantly studded with gmcrackery and
patent leather In getting out of the stage, he
qucsted the driver to hand him a little mahogany
box, filled with jewelry. In complying with the re-
quest, the driver, either accidently by design,
dropped the cabinet and came to the ground with
a bump sufficient to knock its brains out. The
Frenchman petrified. For momert he could
not find language sufficient to give vent to his feel
ings. At last he opened upon him:
"By d-m! never sec such a loafer! Fot for
you drop my box? Your finger slipped? No saire,
your finger no slip. You dropped der box, so it
might fall,-yes, saire, dat was der way it slipped
anything is broke, will make der companies SWEET
till dey will perspire."
As good luck would have it. nothing was broken
and consequently the company was not called upon
to pass through the fiery ordeal which the French
man had been constructing for them.
TIE THREE DOLLAR GOLD Com 1t will be recol-
lected that act of Congress of February, 1868,
directed the coinage of threedolar gold pieces the
mint and branches. Specimens of this coinage hav-
ing been submitted to- and approved by, the Secre-
tary of the Treasury, the coins will be Immediately
put in circulation.
The diverse of this coin represents an ideal head
with the feathered cincture symbolic of America the
word liberty" appearing the band encircling the
head, and the inscription United States of Amer
lea surrounding the whole On the reverse is
wreath composed of some of the staple productions
of the United States-viZ wheat cotton Indian corn,
and tobacco; the denomination and date being in the
centre.
As compared with the other gold coins the devices
and arrangement novel, but perhaps not less ap-
propriate and together with the difference in the
diameter of the piece, will make it readily distn
guishable from the quartereagle, which approaches
it most nearly in value. 1t is 162Oths of an inch in
diameter, and weighs TIA grains or 1925
Washington Onion.
A Frenchman who knew very little English got
into difficulty with an Englishman who insisted
upon fighting it out. The Frenchman agreed to
this, but wished to know what he should say if he
should get beaten Being told that he must cry out
GO enough" they set to- The Frenchman, however
forgot the word and cried out, he heard some of
the bystanders do, "Hurrah hurrah!" To his as
constituent, the Engishman pounded all the harder
This caused Monsieur to go to work in such good
earnest, that the Englshman cried out !" en-
ough! Say dat again." said the Frenchman,
" enough, enough!" cried he again. The French
man in turn exclaimed 90 dat is the yer vord was
trying to say long time agol" ss. -
SMART GIRLS. A young gentleman of Kilkenny
meeting handsome milk-mad near the parade
said
What will you take for yourself and milk. nv
dear ?'
/" Yourself and golden ring, SIR" replied the
girl. -'-
That was good one, but the answer of the girl
1t the boarding house was better:
A gentleman called in, and was shown over a suite
Of rooms bv very Drettv oirl 81