Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1854-03-01
Predictions for the Year 1854.

hours each, and there will be such number
of eclipses, that many wise people will be
in the dark There will be fogsin Maine
fires al Constantinoplc, and lack Of brains
in many fools head.
South America. this year, will not extend
You'd Cape Horn; and the North Pole
will be exactly in ninety degrees of latitude.
Those who lose money will look sad, aud
those who are in want of cash when they
borrow will want it more when they come
to pay.
Wisdom will cry aloud, but few will re-
gard it. There will be long speeches in
Congress, but for all that, Lake Superior
will not he upset.
Quadrupcds, this year, will so upon four
legs, pretty generally; aud cows horns will
BE- crooked. The tate of lottery tickets will
he dubious; but whether there be a general
war, or not, mortal wounds will be apt to
kill and he that is sick with old age, will
have a disease harder to cure than the
mumps Or chiu cough. -
The celestial aspects indicate that politi.
Cal parties will not agree for some time to
come; but whoever is President, water will
run down hill and ducks will waddle as
heretofore.
Cabbages, this year, will be rather round
than three.cornered, aud carrots will he de.
cidedly red, Goals will be as black as ever !;
cats will love fish, hut Late to wet their feet,
and all on account Of klinkerfue's comet.
The world this year, will turn upside
down, bu, not in consequence of the Gov
crnor's manguratiun. The crop of hay will
depend upon the weather, but whether it
rains or not there will be plenty of sand at
Cape Cod.
whatsoever sells his house to buy
moonshine will hardly get his moneys
worth. Whoever runs to catch the rainbow,
will get out of breath for his pains. For
a!l that, eastern ladies may be had for
buying.
Locomotives and auctioneers' tongues
will run fast. There will be mortal war
between cats aud rats, us well as between
aldermen and roast turkeys. People will
talk about the end oil the world but it is
ten to one that the solar system will not
run against the dog star betw cen now and
next December.
eA.serpeuts, this year, will be hard to
catch, and none hut conjuror will be able
10. st5t N quart uto "a trints spor. Those who
have wooden legs will suffer little when
they freeze their toes. Wigs are expected
to be fashionable among the bald, but blind
folks will have some difficulty in seeing.
Divers steamboats, will blow up this year.
Apples will ripen about, October, sooner or
later; but that is all one, provided we have
cider enough Foxes will pay particular at.
,ention to poultry; there will be very few
old birds taken with chaf, aud wild geese
will not lay tame eggs.
But, most of all. there will prevail this
year IL horrible epidemic, worse than the
cholera, small pcx, or plague, for which
there will be no cure. The Italians call it
poco dcnrra; the Germaus klien geld; the
French tautc dargem! in this country, it
goes under various appellations, but it is
most commonly known by the name of
empty pockets.
TuE Wiltsbnrg (Ark.) Messenger is re-
spon>ibe for the following:
"Good morning, stranger, where are you
moving to {"
To the Ar-r-kansaw."
"Where did you come from e
From the State of North Car'liner."
viii there be much emigration from that
State this year,"
"A mighty sight, reckin--mighty hard
times this year. 4 heap Of people is on
the pint of starvin.'
Why so--what's the matter?"
"'rhc simmon crap has failed, and I'm
gwine TO look for a better country"
CHANCE OF GETTING MARRIED.--Fanny
Fern says she is ready to jump at the first
offer of marriage, aud presents her qualltica'
| tions rs follows:
"I have very black eyes and hair, and
am very pctte | am as sensitive as the
'mimos;,,' spirited as an eagle, aud untamable
as chain lightning. Can make pudding or
write Il newspaper squib, cut caper, anc
crowd more happiness or MISERY into Ten
minutes than any Fanny that was ever
christened."
Fanny, says the New York Mirror, has
been twice married, and only quite recently
unmarried. SO oifany enterprising bachelor
has fancy for, pressed Fern Leaves,
here's fine opening for him.
CouLDy'r HELP Ira brutal teache
whipped little boy for pressing the hand o
a little girl who sat next to him at school
after which he asked the child "why ht
squeezed the girls hands!" Because,
said the little fellow, sit looked so pretty
couldn't help it,"
A MODEL SpEEcn.-We commend tin
following speech to the careful study of al
candidates before the people. 1t was de
livered in Illinois, by candidate fur tn
legislature, is brief and pilhy, aud the MAJ
who made it was elected, as he deserved t
be: Fellow-ciiizens; | am no speech
maker, but what say Ill do. I've live
among you Twenty years. aud il I've show'
myself a clever fellow, YOU know it withou
speech; if Pm not clever fellow, yo
know that, too, and wouldn't forget it wit
speech. I'm a candidate for the Legisla
ture il you think I'm the clear grit, voi
for Inc if you think Major R-ol bet
!; ter Stripe than am vote for him. Th
fact is, that either of US will make DEVILS
good representative.
"FAruER," said n sporting youth to hi
reverend parent, "they Say trout will bit
HOW"
"Well. WE'LL" was the consoling reply
C r,iul rnur ...a,rlr and thnn vnull hn sn..