Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-05-11
SCHOOL-ROOM EXERCISES.
BY QUIZ .

SCHOOL-ROOM EXERCISES.
BY QUIZ.
''John, bound the state of matrimony ?"
1.-THE State Of ma,rimony is bounded on
the North by Solici,ude, on the East by
Double trouble, on the South by Sore
shins, and on the West by Vexation."
"What are its chief products ?"
"Peevish babies, scoldlng wives, hen
pecked husbands, smoked coffee. burn.
ham and sour pies.'
''What is eaid Of its climate -
sit has variant temperature Than that OF
state in existence. 10 that portion any other
Of i, called the Honey Don the climate is
salubrious and heal,hy-lhe atmo osphere la
den with the sweets Of the flowers Hymen.
10 some parts the inhabitants experience a
(reezingIy cold reception when they expect
most warmth and in some other parts there
is all the burning sensation Of the torrid
zone. Sometimes fellows house in the
state Of ma.imony gets too hot to hold hlm,
and strange to say he travels with ell
speed not to, bu. from The poles, where cold
is generally supposed to exis,.'
"Sarah, has John give correct outline Of
of The State Of marimony -
'Can't say sir never was in tina, State
Bill Simpkns gave me an invitation the
other day to travel in j. with him, and
when return will answer The question:
well, Sarah, as you seem to be ignorant
in Geography, will examine you in Gram
mar. Take the sentence, Marriage is ci-
vii contract Parse MARRIAGE
SH0rri00p 10 q poun hecapse it,s name
And though Shakespeare asks what's in a
name and says that rose by any other
name would smell las sweet, yet marriage be-
ing q noun, and therefore name, shows
tha. by The rule established by the bard of A.
Won has a. leas, one exception. For marriage
certainly is Of very grea. importance, and
being noun, and therefore name, Ergo
there is something in name.
Good We'll, wha, is the case of mar
riage?'
Don't know sir.'
decline it and see,'
'Don't feel at liberty to decline marriage
after having made Bill the promise | have.
Had rather conjugae.'
Jane, can you tell Sarah in wha! case
marriage is?'
Yes sir i, is a "ery com mon case, eiI
And 'spose Sarah won't be married week
before IFS in the printers case.'
Can you decline marriage9'
Jane bushes extremely and answers:
Had rather not sir
'Well Sarah, what person is marriage 2
Second person, sir, because the person
you speak to is The one that is going to
marry
'What number is marriage'
plural number now sir, because Bill and
are two at the present time. When the
parson ties the knot, marriage will then be
singular, because The bible says they twain
shall be one 1esh.'
'What gender is marriage?'
Common gender because either male or
female may get married.
Docs marriage govern any thing or does
ii agree with something
Both, sir. ]. governs mankind and " O.
mankind, and as TO agreeing, it agrees with
The world and all the rest of mankind
'Give your rule.'
'My rule is that Bill shan't grumble if ]
buy two silk dresses year, and he shan'l
have but one ,easpoonful Of sugar TO two
cups Of coffee
sPeter, parse ciuH'
Civil, suppose, would generally be cal
led an adjective !; but would call j, an inter-
jec,ion to express nv surprise that it should
be applied TO The noun contract in opposi.
ton with marriage. Guess you'd think SO
too if you were over TO our house 10 sec
how the old man larrups the old lady when
he's tight
'In wha. degree is civiln
sCiuu as applied to marriage in the g.
bove sentence is Of all three degrees o
Comparison. For marriage produces in ons
instance the positiue. in another the com
paratire, in third the superlative =
positive, compar,ive and supetlaive
wha,?'
'Why you see when man marries ter
thousand, that's in the positive degree o
luck when man marries twenty thousand
that's in the comparative, and when he mar
ries fifty-,housand or over, that's ID the su-
pe'laive.'
'I, seems to me, Peter your ideas are fa'
fetched. But you are genius notwith'
standing you are lille scattering. Take
your seat and recite the balance of your
lesson TO morrow
A SHARPER.-"Sonny where is your
father ~ "Falher's dead sir" "Have yot