The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1854-07-19

anleu Wlte!-A Capital Hoax.
A advertisement appeared III a recent
publication of the Leeds Mercury, set
ting forth matrimonial views and inteu-
tions of a gentleman of27. The proficr.
rcd engagement was taken up by some
parties resident 10 Leeds. and cores
pondence, which covered period of sew
cral weeks. ensucd. the ideal fair one
writing under the assumed named of
" Hey
More than twenty letters-one con-
tainipg the duro's photograph-passcd
through the post-oflice upon the allah.
sorbing theme, in course of which the
gentleman. who resides in London. and
whom in mercy we shall call Mr. Simple,
made great efforts at the sentimental,
one of the letters closing with rbapso.
dy irresistible in its effects upon the rs-
bio faculties of the hoaxers. The cor
respondence showed, as might be expect.
ed, that the motive Of Mr. Simple in a1-
vertisiug was merconary The attraction
in bis instance was said to be Sll0 per
anuum, and this Mr.. Simple deemed
" quite satisfactory" and induce him to
pledge his word" to be faithful. A few
days after this explanation Of his views,
Mr.. Simple entered upon a corrcspon-
dence with a Miss Emily b, of Hal
flax, little thinking that this supposed
young lady and Miss Hey, of Lccd'w were
one and the same person. The bait in
this instance was clear income of E200
per annum, and Mr.. Simple accordingly
declared his inteution in favor of the
f200 Miss B was now all his aim
but alas his hopes were soon quashcd in
that quarter. Miss ITey's" star was
consequently again in the ascendant
The course of true love never did run
smooth" so it happened in this instance.
Mr.. Simple's hopes and fears were now
alternately swaycd till tho climax Of the
a1a r, when delicate hints \; an eopc-
ncnt wero proposed by his now Dear
Louisa" and most warmly responded to.
This was the Prelude to the meeting
which came of with all due eclat at
Kirstall abbey, Notwithstanding some
s,ecploss nights were passed by Mr..
Simple. The thing was not effected,
however, without the selection of a Sc
cond resort Of peculiar retiracy which
Nj. Simplcs foresight dictated to him
in case of accident. The Oaks near
Kirksiail,' was accordingly sont him.
BY the side Of the river they were on
gagged to meet, aud long before the up
pointed hour Give p. n.y. tho lover would
be seen perambulating its banks with
pocket handkerchief in baud, which was
previously agreed upon as the signal of
recognition. His dear Louisa" soon
made her appearance accompanied by
her supposed father and brother. The
introduction now took place. and Mr..
Simple was duly apprsed the storm
was over" The so called Mr.. Hey now
assumed his position as father an inter
esting conversation cnsucA, Mr. Simple
descsnting largely upon his views, pros
poets and intentions Opportunity was
now given to the two to walk alone.
This Mr.. Simple eagerly embraced and
now tie words Of fUndness and endear-
ment so natural under such circum,
stances began to pour forth. He was
now Fastening to the most thrilling Of
all questions. Mr.. Simple which ths
nuptlals to be celebrated within a week;
but no. it could not be, as ladies require
time for preparation. An hour and "a
half was thus spent, when adjournment
for refreshlnent was proposed and car
ried. MIR. Simple said he would take
anything. it did not matter what, for now
be had got all he desired, for if he search
ed the Kingdom over he could not have
found one to surrass his " Dear Louisa
The moment was now approaching
when all Mr.. Simple's dreams were to
vanish, and the startling reality to be re-
vealcd A very large company of Heys'
had blod in another room, as Mr..
Simple had already been Informed, aud
were waiting to receive him. He was
accordingly introduced amidst profound
silence A flash of suspicion seemed to
cross him rs he entered, but he quietly
took his seat His health was then
drunk with all the houors-toasts and
sentiments were showsred upon him.
His feeling of suspicion seemed every mo-
ment to be increasing, when one of the
company with knowing look, asked Mr..
Simple if he had yot been up to the
Oaks p He said he had not. "Then
(replied the tormenter,) allow me to in
form you sir, that you are at the hoax
now"
A scene of laughter and confusion fol
lowed which beggars all description, and
during which poor Mr.. Simple made sew
eral Intellectual attempts to get away
Order was, however, partially restored
and as soon as the shouts of laughter had
subsideG, lie was addressed BY several Of
the parties upon his duplicity and mean
ness, as exhibited in several portions O
the correspondence after which the lady
who had pessonated Miss Hey thai
evening with such admirable tact was in
troduced by her husband. Poor Mr.
Simple. He appeared utterly, dumb
founded and speechless. Miss Hey kind
ly give him some excellent advice, anC
20 which he responded with evident feel
ing aud upon making his exit remarked
"Gentlemen this will be a lesson TO IN
as long as | live" Fortunately for Mr.
Simple, train was now due for Iced.
and twenty minutes after its arrival say
him on his way home to London, wher
it is 10 be hoped be arrived in safet,
+ and will be better and wiser ma
, when he has read this paragraph.
+ TRUr.--Said a gentleman to us tn
! other day :" am neither prophet
, nor the son of prophet, but let m
tell the politicians of the North that
|, ! they do no. waive petty distinction
[ and agree, slavery will triumph owe