The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1854-11-24
Cousin Sally billiard.
A COURT SCENE.
BY r. c. JONES.

We think says Western editor, it is high time
that Cousin Sally Diard,' Captain Rice and
Mose,' were again brought to the memory OF the
public. We have read and laughed at the nara
ton at least twenty times, and should not fail to
enjoy it, it to come under our notice daily
70: year 10 come. The scene is court of JUS.
lice in North Carolina. A beardless disciple OF
TkemIs rises and thus addresses The court.
May IL please your worships, and you gentle
men of the jury since it has been my fortune
good or tad, will not say-to exercise in lie.
gal acquisition, it has never befallen me 10 be
obliged 10 prosecute, so diretul, marked and ma.
licious assault wiIful, violent and dan
gerOus battery and finally, a more diaboIical
breach of peace has seldom happened in civiliz-
cd country; and L dare say it has seldom been
, our duty 20 pass upon so shocking 10 benevo-
lent feelings this which took place over at Capt.
Rice's in this county. But you will hear from The
Witnesses
The Witnesses being sworn, two three were
examined and disposed of: one said he heard the
noise aud did not the fight: another that he
seed The row, but didn't know who struck first
and third that he was very drunk, and could mt
say much about the skrmmage.
Lawyer Chops.-l am very sorry, gentlemen
TO have occupied your time with the stupidity OF
the witnesses examined. IL arises gentlemen, al
together from misrepresentation on my part. Had
| known, as do, that | had witness here, ac-
quainted with The circumstances of the case, and
able TO make himself clearly understood by the
court and jury, should not long have trespassed
your time and patience. Come forward and be
sworn.
So forward comes the witness, fat, chuffy old
man, leelle corned, and took an oath with an
air.
C.-Harrs, we wish you to tell about the riot
that happened, the other day, at Captain RIce S,
and great deal of time has already been was
ted in circumlocuton, wish you TO be COM
pendous, and at the same time explicit as pos
sibe.
Harris.-Adzactly-(g tho Lawyer a
knowing wink, at the same time clearing his throat
Capt. Rice, he gin treat, and Cousin Sally
/ DHlard, she came over to our house and aXed me
! II my wife she mount go. | told Cousin Sally
Billiard that NY wife she poorly, being as how
! she had the TIeumatics in the hap, and the bic
swamp was up, tor there had been heap of rain
/ lately, but howsOmever, il was she, Cousin
! Sally Diliard, my wife she mOu 60 She then
axed me if Nose he was foreman 0! the crap and
Tie crap was smar,Iy in the grass but how Wsomcv-
er, Rs ii was she, Cousin Sally DIard, Nose he
mout go
/ C.-In the name of common sense. Mr.. Harris,
what do you mean by this rigmarole
W.-Capt. Rice, he gin treat and Cousin Sal.
~ Di.lard, she come over TO our house and axed
if my wife she mouth go. told Cousin Sally
billiard
Stop, sir, if you please we don't want to hear
anything about Cousin Sally billiard, Or your wife
tel! about The fight Rice's.
W.-We, sir, | will, that is, if you will let
me.
C-WeIl, sir, 60 on.
W.-We, Capt. Rice. he gin treat, and Cous-
ia Sally billiard she come over to house and
axcd me il my wife she moutnt 60
C.-There it is again witness, please to stop.
W.-WelI, sir what 90 you want?
Give want to know about the fight and you
must not proceed to this impertinert story. Do
you know anything about the matter before the
court
W.-To be sure do.
C.-WelI you 90 on and tell it and nothing
else.
W.-Capt. Rice gin a treat
C.-Ths is ntolerabIe. May It please the
court, | move that this witness be committed
for a contempt; he seems to be trifing with the
Court
The Courr.-Witness, you are now before the
OF Justice, and unless you behave yourself IN
"a more becoming manner, you will be put in jail /;
so begin and tell what you know about the
fight al Capt. Rice's.
W.-(aIarmed) Well gentlemen, Captain
Rice, he gin treat, and Cousin Sally DHarG
she
C-I hope this witness may be ordered into Gus
tOdy.
C.-(afler deberating.) Mr.. Attorney, the
court is OF opinion lha! may save time by al
lowing the witness to 60 on his own way. Pro
ceed, Mr.. Harris, with your story, but stick to the
point.
W.-wen, Capt. Rice, gin treat, and Cousin
Sally billiard come over TO our house and axed ns
If my wife she mout gn. | told Cousin Sail
Dard that my wife was poorly, as she had rheu-
malics in The hip, and the big swamp was up but
how wsomever, as it was she, Cousin Sally billiard,
my wife mou: go. Well, Cousin sally billiard then
axed me if Nose he mout. | told Cousin Sally
billiard as how Nose he was foreman of the crap,
and the crap was smartIy in the grass, but as 1t
was she, Cousin Sally billiard, Nose he mout go.
So they goes on together, Nose, my wife and
Cousin Sally billiard, and they come the big
swamp, and it was uf, as was telling you, bat
being as how there was log across the big swamp,
Cousin Sally billiard and Nose like genteel folks,
they walked the log, but my wife like darned fool,
hosted her coat and waded right through-and
that's all l know about the fight.
THoRoUGnLY PATRIoTIC.-The Panama Star,
he incidents Of he e9rthouakpS the