The Gonzales inquirer. [volume] (Gonzales, Tex.) 1853-current, 1854-03-11
II Hain't Been stealin' Hothin'!"

a rich incident occurred, short time since,
in one Of the County Courts Of Vermont,
which we consider too good to be lost.
! Many Of the jury, together with the Judge
and lawyers, were intending to participate in
celebration Of a society Of which they were
members, and where consequently-in their
anxiety to close the Tcrm--rushing cases
through with all the dispatch that honor and
justice would permit
! At halEpast twelve o'clock one day an inter
mission for half an hour, for the dinner, was
granted, with n strict injunction from the
Judge that "al hands" must be back punctu-
ally at one, to commence a new case Of larceny
| The dinners, that day, were swallowed with
greater rapidity than usual, and, as the clock
struck one, the officers Of law rushed into
Court, like chickens into n meal trough.
| While they were eating their dinners, how
ever, young man from the country" being
somewhat anxious TO sec the manner in which
justice was netcd out, walked into the court
room, and, as he afterwards expressed himself
"took q squint Mt all the seats, and sccin'
there wasn't nobody in the incest one, with n
railin' all around 1t, thought he'd make sure
on IL, fore the fellers got back from dinner"
! In five minutes after the crowd entered the
room the Judge raped the desk with the butt
end Of his jack.knifc, and with n dignifed
frown, cried
"Silencc'n the Court'
"Silcncen the Court" repeated the broad
shonldcred constable, leaning on the railing in
front Of his honor, and Immediately resumed
the occupation Of picking his teeth with pin
"SilcDcc in Court" echoed the squcakng
tones Of n small red headed constable near
the door and the latter speaker Immediately
commenced clbowing the crowd, right and left
to let them know that he was around"
| All rculy 2" gays the Judge
"All rcaJyl" replied the Attorney.
command the prisoner To stand upi" says
the Judge, "whilc the indictment IL being
read.
The broad shouldercd constable now walked
up to the prisoners box, during the apparent
rnomcntary absence of tho Sheriff, placed his
hands on the shoulder Of the young man, and
exclaimed
"Stand upi"
"What furi" said the astonishcd young
| farmer.
"Io hear the charge read, exclaimed the
constable.
"Wall, guess kin hear what's going on,
without standin', AZ well M the rest Of en-"
was the reply.
"STASD up!" ronred tho Judge, in burst
Of passionate had just bitten his tongue
while picking his teeth. "Young man, stdnd
I up, or tile consequences be upon your own
bead"
The victim came up on his feet ns if under
the influence Of a gaivnnic battery, and look
ing around the courtroom and noticing that all
eyes were upon him, with an expression about
rs allectonaic as that Of rabid man toward
bowl Of water, he hung his head in confu-
sion and modification, and was nearly deaf 10
the words Of the indictment; but he heard
enough of the long, complicated, tangliDg sen
/ f.1 II.
ing or cmbezzling, or cheating, or pilfcriDg
some house or somebody, and he couldn't tell
exactly which.
What does he say TO the chnrgcY Guilty
or not guiltyf" inquired the Judge pccpiDg
over his spcctaclcs with look cold enough 10
freeze mans blood. "Guiliy or not guily?"
The young man vcnlurcd TO look up, in
hopes 10 find sympathizing eye, but all were
cold and unfriendly, and lac again gnzcd on
the saw-dustcd floor, and trembcd with con.
fusion.
Guilty or not guiltyS" again vociicyatcd
the Judge, In tone that plainly denoted i'm
patience To proceed with the case.
The broad.shouldcrcd constable, being rath-
or humane man, now stepped up TO the pri-
soncr, and exclaimed.
You had better say mot guiity,' Of course.
VI you say guitty,' you don't stand no chance,
/
guilty," and wish at any future state Of the
case, to change your plea to 'guiity' you can
do IL without any injury TO yoursclf There
fore, advise you TO say not gaitty,' and stick
10 1t, as long as there's any chancoi'
Jonatbans feelings had been simmcrpg
sometime, but now they fairly boiled over,
aud with q look Of innocent but determined
resolution, lac swung his arms about his head,
and exclaimed
"What IN oil natur' arc ycou fcllors a.tryn'
to dew | hain't been stealth nothin'l
mit't, wroP
just At this moment, tho front door opened,
and the Sheriff, with the genuine prisoner,
walked into the room, and proceeded at once
! to the 6Or.
The court saw, in moment its mistake,
and tried 10 choke down it's effect with lrown
but I was no go The crowd bust forth
into horsc.laugh that fairly made the win.
dows rattle, and the young man left the room
cyclaiming, as hc passed out of the door
"I knowcd all the time, hadn't stole moth.
in'W--Litoory Museum.
Too BAD" Got paper TO spare" "Yes,
sir; here IN one of our last, Would you like
10 subscribe, sir, and take II regularity ~
would--but am too poor" lie had just re-.
turned from the circus, which cost lifly cents !,
losl tl'hc UVth hiH ihln, my VehtH "hHho},
Judging from the smell, at least fihy cents
making dollar and half actually thrown
away, and begging for n newspaper, alleging
that ho was too poor 10 pay for H.
SuBr ESorou. --." Mother asked lit,lc girl,
while listening TO the reading of Uncle Toms
/ Cabin, "Why don't tho book never mention
/ Topsy's last namcS have tried TO hear Il
whenever !, spoke OF her, but Il has no, once
spoke it,"