The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1854-09-15
Getting s.FIts" i'm n Clothing Store.

Nehemiah speedily selected nice, blue coat,
and vest Of green, bu: he was more fastidlous In
his choice of pants, these crownlng glorles OF his
new suit. He seemed to indulge a weakness for
long pan:aloons, and complained that his last pair
had troubled him exceedingly, or, as he expressed
it, "blamedy," by hitching up over his boots,
and wrinkling about the knees. Nehemiah deved
away impetuously amidst the stack Of two or three
hundred pairs, and finally his eyes rested upon
pair of lengthy ones, real blazers, and with wide
yellow stripes running each way. Nehemiah
snakedthem out IN a twinkling. He liked them
they were long and yeilow-they were just the
thing, and he proceeded at once to try them on.
The new clothing store had nook curaned of
for this purpose, and Nehemiah was speedily
coseted therein.
The pants had straps, and the straps were but
toned now Nehemiah had seen straps before, but
the art of manag ing them was mystery, and
like St. Patrick's dilemma, ''required mighty
dale Of nice consideration" On delberation, he
decided that the boots must 60 on first; he accor-
dinghy drew on his BInchers, mounted char,
elevated his pants at proper angle, and endeavored
to coax the legs into them. He had time Of it.
His boots were Of the smallest, and the pants,
though long, were none of the widest, the chair
too, was rlckety, and bothered him, but bending
his energies to the task he succeeded in inducing
the legs into the "pesky things" He was standing
like the Colossus of Rhodes and just in the act Of
raising the other foot, when whispering and gig
Cling, in his immediate vicinity, made him alive
to the appalling lact that nothing but thin curtain
of chinlz separated him from twenty or thirty oil
the pretties and wickedest girls that were ever in
one shop. Nehemiah bashful youth, and
would have made clrcumbendibus Of mile, any
day, rather than meet those girls even had he been
in full dress as il was his mouth was al ar at the
bare possibility of making his appearance amongst
them in his present dshabillc. What if there was
a hole in the curtain What ii it should fall II
wouldn't bear thinking of, and plunging his foot in
the vacant leg, with sort Of frantic looseness, he
brought on the very catastrophe he was anxious
to avoid. The chair collapse with sudden
s'scrouch," pitching Nehemiah head over heels
through the curtain, and he made his grahde dentrance
among the stitching divinities all fours, like
fettered rhinoceros
Perhaps Collier himself never exhibited more
striking group tableaux vivantes than was now
displayed. Nehemiah was ''model, every inch
Of him, and though not exactly "resoiving on a
PEDESTAL he was going through the movement
quite effectually on his back, kicking. pluHging
IN short, persopiiying in thirty seconds all the
attitudes ever "chseIed - AS for the gals, they
screamed Of course, jumped upon chairs, and the
cutting board. threw their hands over their faces
peeped through heir fingers, screamed again, "they
should die they knew they should!'
"Oh. Lordy - bIubbered the distressed young
| un "don't holler so. gals, don't! didn't 60 te"
| swar to man didn't it's all owing to those
cussed trowsers, every mite ont. Ask yer boss
he'll tell We how twas. Oh, Lordy, won't nobody
kver me up with old clothes, or turn he wood-b boz
over me ? Oh, Moses in the bullrushes; whatI
Nancy say?''
He managed TO raise himself his feet and
make a spIurge towards the door, but his Gen
tangling alliances" trpped him up again, as he
fell "kersIap," upon the hot goose of the pressman
This was the unkindest cut Of all. The goose
had been heated expressly for thick cloth seams
and the way it sizzled into the seat Of the new
pants was affecting TO the wearer. Nehemiah riz
up iu an instant, and sezing the source of all his
troubles by the slack he tore himself free from all
save the straps and some pantlet-like fragments
that hung bout his ances, as he dashed through
the door Of the emporium, at a two forty pace
Nehemiah seemed 10 yearn with the poet, for a
t'lodge in some vast wilderness" and betrayed
| settled purpose to "fee from the busy haunts o
men," for the last seen of him he was capering ur
the raiIroad-cutting like a scared rabbit, the rays
Of the declining sun hckerng and dancing upon
a broad expanse of shirt tail that fuered gaIy il
the breeze, as he headed for the nearest wood.
Boston Yankee Blade.