Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1854-02-16
The Unin tenlionaI Divorce,


in the following sketch:
nj Zone winter there came into Tren
n ton, New Jersey, two men namet
E Smith and Jones, who had both 0
them designs upon the Legislature
Jones had a bad wife, and was in lopt
with a pretty woman-hd wished tC
be divorced from the bad wife, SC
: that he might marry the pretty wo.
man-who, by the by, was a widow
T with black eyes and such a mouth
therefore, Jon bs came to Trenton for
a divorce. S mith has "a good wife,
plump as robin. good as an angel,
and the mothe of ten children, and
Smith did not want to be divorced,
but did want to get d charter for a
turnpike, or plank road, to- extend
from Pigs Ru j to TerIapin Hollow.
Well, they, 18th these different er-
rands, came to Trenton, and address
ed the assembled wisdom with the
usual argume ments. lst. Suppers
mainly eompd sell Of oysters, with a
rich back gro und of steak aud yeni,
son. ID. Liquors in great plenty,
from Jersey lightning" which is
kind of loeonl at full speed re-
Iduced to liquid shape-to Newark
champagne. ! o speak in plain prose,
Jones, the divorce man, gave "A cham
pagne supper, and Smith, the turn
pike man, followed with the cham-
payne breakfast; under the mollily-
ing influence Of which, the assem-
bled wisdom passed both the divorce
and turnpike bills, and Jones and
Smlth-a copy of each bill in parch7
ment in their pockets, went rejoicing
home,oyer miles Of sand, and through
the tribulatien of many stage coach
.es. Smith arrived at home in the
evening, and as he sat down id bis
pallor, with his pretty wife besidehim |
how pretty she did look and Eve of
the children asleep over head, and
the other five studying their lessons
in the corner of the room, Smith
was induced TO cxpqtiate upon the
good results Of his mission to Tren- I.
ton |,
a turnpike, my dear. ! am one
Of the directors, love - we can send 1,
our children TO . boarding school I
and live in style, out of the toll
Here il the charter, honey
LET me see it, said the pretty
wife, who was one Of the incest wives, T,
With plumpness and goodness dimp-
ing over her face, "Jet me see it;' /
lnd she leaned over Smiths Shout ,
Ter, pressing her arm upon his own, i
IS she looked at the pardhment.-- !,
But all at once Smiths wife's v,sage :
grew black. Smith was not profne,
,ut now lie ripped outan awful oath;
'Blast il, these internal scoundrels |
It Trenton have gone and divorcedl ,
ls" !,
Ii was too true, The parchment |
which he held was a bill of divorce,
i which the name of Smith and
wife appeared in frightfully legi- i
,le letters. Mrs Smith wiped her
yes with the corner of her apron. {
Here's a turnpike?' a
Blast the pike and legislatures, {
md" Well, the fact is that /
smith, reduced to single blessednesS, Z,
md "enacted" into a stranger TO his #
'wn wife, sworo awfully. Although a
he night was dark, and most of the
lenizens of the village had gone to |
,ed, Smith bade his late wife put on {
lor bonnet, and arm in arm they
'roceeded to tho house Of a clergy h
nan of their church. v
"Goodness bless mel exclaimed i
he mild, good man, as hess them q
nter, Smith looking like the very n
.st of June shade, npd Smiths wife
Iipiug her eyes with the corner of i
er apron; "Goddncss bless me, what's h
he Inatter?" q
1.-The matter is, | want you to i
larry Us two right off, replied : :,
mith. DIX
"Marry yoq?". CALCULATED the cler7 #,
ymaD, with expanded fingers and
@ful eyes, "are| you drunk or crazy.
Il amt crazy, and | wish ! WIS II
runk, said Snith, desperately; +
The lac 1t is, bother Goodwin, that
,me 4conhdrdls at Trenton, unDe-
npwn TO me, and at the dead Of q
igAt have gone aud divorced me y