Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1854-11-15
A Case of Conscience.


sFriend Broadbrind,' said Zephaniah Strait
lace to his master, rich Quaker of the city of
Brotherly Love, sthou canst not eat of that leg
of mutton at thy noontide table to-day
sAnd wherefore not?' asked the good Quaker.
Because the dog that appertaineth to that
son of Belial, whom the world caleth Lawyer
Foxcraft, hath come into thy pantry and sto-
len it-yea, and hath eaten it up
Beware, friend Zephaniah, of bearing false
witness against thy neighbor. Art thou sure
it was friend Foxcraft's domestic animal?'
yea, verify, [ saw it with my eyes, and it
was Lawyer Foxcraft's dog; even Pinch'em.' >
upon what evil times have we fallen?' sigh
ed the harmless secretary, as he wended his
way to his neighbours office. Friend GripuS,
said he, Il want so ask thy opinion
Il am all attention. said the scribe, laying
down his pen.
sSupposing, friend Foxcraft, that my dog
has gone into thy neighbours pantry, and stol-
en- therefrom leg of mutton, and saw him ,and
could call him by name, what ought to do p
sPay for the mutton; nothing can be clearer
know, then, friend Foxcraft, thy dog, even
the beast men denominate Pinch'em. hath sto-
len from my pantry a leg of mutton, of the just
value of four shilings and sixpence, which
paid for it in the market, this morning.
ooh well, then it is my opinion that l
must pay for it, and having done so, the
worthy friend turned to depart.
sTarry yet little, friend Broadbrim,' cried
the lawyer. sOf verify / have yet farther to
say unto thee. Thou owest me nine shillings
for advice
sThen, verify, must pay thee; and it is my
| opinion have touched pitch and been defiled.'
LEGAL ANEcDoTE.-Quite an animated dis
cussion once arose in a. hotel in 'merrie' Eng
land between John Bull and Brother Jonathan,
on a point of law. The point was this-ECan
witness, in legal sense, positively attest to a
noted historical fact-a fact well known to ev-
erybody-yet fact with which he has no per-
sonal acquaintance or knowledge, without
committing perjury!' p
Il say he can,' quoth Jonathan, 'and his oath
will be taken as evidence in all courts of equity
| eAnd 1 say he cannot!' exclaimed John Bull.
sWal, meow, jest locker here, Mr.. John Bull,
began Jonathan, pointing his finger at him,
and shaking it impressively and speaking en-
phatically, sdon't you kaoD there is sich aplace
as America-the United States of America 2
sI've never crossed the Atlantic; conse-
quently don't know, was the reply.
sWal,' said Jonathan, sall I've got tew say
| is, if you'd lived in the days of the Revolu-
ton, and had been ssreound,'' you'd ha' soon
feound it out, guess
John Bull evaporated, and Jonathan began
| to whistle Yankee Doodle. 'ti3
ANGER.-As preventative of anger, Danish
all tale-bearers and slanderers from your pres
ence and conversation, for it is these that blow
the DEVILS bellows to rouse up the flames of
rage and fury, by first abusing your ears, and
your credulity, and after that steal away our
patience, and all this perhaps for lie To pre-
vent anger, be not too exquisite into the affairs
of others, or what people say of yourself, or to
the mistakes of your friends, for this is going
out to gather sticks to kindle fire to burn
your own home.-Star Spangled Banner.