Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-04-06
VARIETY.

" The following dlaloguels Represented
10 have taken place between farmer aad
IA Irish reaper, The latter being considerably
under the csmaion stature:
Irishman.-D'ye waat any body for the
haryestP
FURNISHES
Z Irishman.-.Wilf ye take me 2
Farmsr.-sNs; you're too little
'Arrah, now, and do ye cut yer corn
from the top q said Pat as be walked OF in
digaantly
Hs-A maiden lady, suspseting her female
servant was RECALLING her beau on the cold
inuttoasof the Harder, called Betty and in.
.,quirea whether she did not hear seme one
9spcaking with her downstairs 4
oh, no, ma am,' replied she girl ii was
.oaly ne singinga psalm
Yea may amuse yourself, Batty, re
T piled the lady, with psalms, bat let's havs
no hims Betty hays great objections to
hims Betty csdrt.sied, withdrew, AID tsek
the hint
Hs-The devil may be an ugly customer,
still be possesses ssme good streaks. Whs,
for Instance, is more untiriax and industri.
ous9 Just lock At what he has done in the
past week two murders in New York. an
IrisA riot in Illinois, two child murders in
PhiaaelpAia, thirty six cases Of seduction,
aud any numbst Of brskea heads, rum dis.
pules, aad shillalah fights The devil. has
beel uaderited- In tbsMay afactiEity, he
takes down the crowd
EfA starving Mas, whs committed
theft was asked BY pisus person if his esR-
science had not cried oat to him, Fsrbear
Alas, replied he, if il did, the cries Of
my stomach were SO much louder, that they
prevented mo from hearing those Of my esa.
science
H9-Why is q carpenter xhe is putting
roof ever schooner, that fights On her ewn
heck, like q gal weeping in solitude fer her
loverf 1
Do you give ii upl
Because b. is shedding private tear
HS-al would not marry an Eastern man,
If l had " live an cid maid all my life" ex-
claimed baxem country lass why no,l'
demanded her astonis he'd companion. "BeE
cause every paper yea pick mp contains AZ
account sfthe failure Of the Eastern mails,
rs-A Beautiful woman enee said to Gel.
Shields, xhe by the BY is an Irishman-- :
aHeufsit, that having obtained - much
glory, zen, still seek for mersa' "Ah, mad
am be replied. .,hsw is il, that yeu who
have 50 much beauty, should still put On
the paint ~ te
NEIn the cemmissieH sf evil, fear ne.
man 50 much aslthy own self Another Is
but enc witness against tAee-theu art .
Thousand Ansther thou mayst avsid. but
myself thou cAnst nots Wiekednsss IS its
eNn punishment
rSsme ilLlatured critic says that il
has recently been discovered that il is nee
~essary for ladies, uhs wear watershed shoes
10 have from ten 10 City dollars worsh Of
furs around the neck and wrists, in srdsr 70
maintaiA unifefn heat Of the system.
EHrGirls are like kittens--gs amssth
them ths right way, aa1 they rub and pEyr
m ost afsetioaately. but give them the.ce1-
trary brush, and their back is up in the nest
aisaainfal manner. They like to Be kissed,
bu. sham dslicact about he operasisl.
ar Mistrust -4the. man svAs Rads trery
thing good, the man whe fnds every thing
evil, sad, still more, the man Hhs Is iaaif-
fsrsns T. every hing.
UarA mess Of aPeuts'' is easily caught
Tell your vita you eah't aiera 70 buy that
s!loye Of q bsnnee' Al MIA Flsshs. Tia mil
klner. "a,
K-The French ssay, "A wise nan thinks
before be spslks, but fool after be has sps-
kenr
lrft Is to Be feared that they xhs mar
n Mherp they q net lsve, will loys EAere
they Dc net marry.
n1reY oa.ses ksx bald an, ana I Ssn't
wear Wig True, sir" replied the other,
ebut Al empty tsra requires Ne thateh
rr3-It1is imposition esnsf,ll5 os1cln-
1si Z IS true, that cords q weed given e
ths peer are e s'reee abozs
r1eNs enc c,a possibly imprors ID any
P. 90 snr. fSr 1hii1 Sc has net respect cnSurk
ls g oii,r sfnc degree II rssifailt