Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1854-01-25

pinch Of snuff, and pushedi it up very
hard and quick into her nose.
Ike requested Mrs. Brown not TO talk
so fast, and only answer such questions as
he put to her.
Well, now, that's nice, J" she continu-
ed. "Warn't sworn, OF vast you p
and to tell the truth, too, and the lptolo
truth. I warn't sworn to answer your
questions. Why, may be you don't know
Mr.. Pettifogger. that there are folks in
States prison noc for lying in q Court of
Justice ?"
Squire Longbow interferred, and sta
ted that he must say that things were
going on very promis'cusly quite agin' the
peace and dignity of the State"
"Just so think myself added Mrs
Brown. ''This place is like a town meet
ing for all the world'
Mrs. Sonora Brown P' exclaimed
Ike, rising to his feet little enraged, ''do
you know anything about what Charity
Beadle said about PhiIista Filkius? An
swer this question:
"Whew iddle-de-dee highly tightly!
SO you have really broken loose, Mr.. Pet
tifogger," +" for now the old lady's temper
was really up. "Why, didn't you know
| was old enough to be your grandmother?
Why, my boy, continued she. hurrying
on her sPectacles and taking long look
at Ike, 81 kuow'd your mother when she
made cakes and pies down in the Jar
seys; and you when you warn't more than
so high )" and she measured about two
feet from the floor. You want me to
ans,Oer, do you? told you all l know'd
about it, and if you want anything more,
/ guess you'll have to get it. that's all, !"
and, jumping up, she left the witness
stand apd disappeared in the crowd.
81 demand an attachment for Sonora
Brown !" rOared out Ike, "an ab3conding
witness"
Cant do it," replied the Squire; "iL's
agin the Constitution to deprive anybody
OF their liberty au unreasonable length Of
time. This witness has now been conf
ned here by process of law morn a nour
Can't do it ! Be guilty of trespass. Must
stick to the Constitution. Call your next
witness"
Ike sworo. The Squire fined him one
dollar. He swore again The Squire
fined him another. The faster the Squire
fined, the faster the oaths rolled out OF
lke's mouth, until the Squire had enter
ed ten dollars against him. Ike swore
again, and the Squire was about to record
the eleventh dollar. but Ike checked him.
Hold on hold on you old repro.
bate now Two got you now you are
mine !" exclaimed he. "You are up to
the limit of the law. You can inlet on
ly ten dollars in fines in any one case
Now stand and take it,
And such volIey Of oaths, cant phra-
scs, humor, wrath, sarcasm, and fun, some.
times addressed to the Squire, sometimes
to the audience, and sometimes to his eli.
cnt, never rolled out of any other mans
mouth since the food. 1t commenced
with the history of the Squire, when as
he said, 'he was raftin lumber down on
the Susquehannas ; and he followed him
up from that time. 'He could tell the
reason why he came west, but wouldn't
He commented on his personal appear
ance, aud his capacity for the office of
Justice. He told him he hadn't only
one eye, any way, and he couldn't be ex-
Pected to sec great way into mill.
stone and he didn't believe he had as
many brains as an lister. For his part,
he knew the law he had ransackcd eve
ry part Of the statute, as gIutton would
Noah's Ark for the remnant of an eel he
had digested it from Dan to Beersheba
swallowed everything but the title page
and cover, and would have swallowed that
if he warn't mortal he was living, mo.
wing law himself; when he said : law was
law, TWAS law : better peal any thing up
from predestination than from his opinion!
he would follow this case to the back side
of ndown for his rights"
During all this time, there was COM
plete uproar. PhilisIa's friends chcered
and hurrahed the dogs in the room set
up their barking. BeadIe's friends
groaned aud squealed, and beloved and
| whimpcred, and initiated all the domestic
animals of the day, while the Squire was
trying at the top of his voice to compel
the constable to commit Ike for contempt
of Court.
Ike closed and sat down. The Squire
| called tho constable. but he was not to be
found. One man told him that 'he was
in the next room pitching coppers = ano-
ther, that the last time he saw him he
was running very fast : another, that 'he
rather guessed he'd be back some time or
another, if he ever was, because he was
sworn officer; : another asked the Squire
what he'd give to have him cn!ched %
but no constable appeared; he had put
himself out of the way to escape the
storm.
A long silence followed this outburst
not a word was said, and scarcely noise
heard. Every one was eagerly looking
at the Squire for his next movement. Ike
kept his eyes on the floor apparently in
deep study. At last he arose.
esquire, said he, we've been under
something of press of steam for the las
half our; move we adjourn fifteen mi.
nutes for drink"
Dong ,, nns-n-aL IL G..:-. .-l =.