Washington sentinel. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1853-1855, 1854-01-14
Department in Church.

The correspondent of the Muscat Enquirer
thus discourses on the prophecies of behavior
in church:
Upon entering church" you should take off
your hat if you are q gentleman; if a lady,
you can keep it' on. You should sit down
in the slip" as soon as you get near enough;
if you are accompanied by a lady" and she be
your superior" you must not both squeeze
into the "sip" together, for something might
break !" if she be your " Inferior" let her 90
to some other church" You should not
{ talk aloud" in meeting" unless you be the
preacher"
1, Never 60 to your "pew" in hurry, unless
you are afraid you will get crowded" out, and
at such times be sure and take the shortest
cut unless the choir are singing II see him
on his winding way" If you are accompany
ing GLADLY" she should open the door-that
is if she is SO disposed; if the lady accompa-
mics you, you should open the door, and if She
be your superior" and strong minded 90
in, but if !" INFERIOR and opposed to woman's
rights" let her go in" but you "put'
Should you sit in :" slip beside fashion.
able lady, you should not "look' at her during
service, especially if you are not "good look
Sleeps eyes at the g fair sex" during SER
mon time unless by previous arrangement. If
you attend "church" with LADY, in the
evening, you see her home, unless somebody
better looking" cuts you out = and in that
case give him 3jesse for his impudence, but
don't say anything to the lady" for she want
to blame, "poor thing" If you have g small
hand" and chance to have :" ring z on it, be
sure and keep it (the handy in your pocket,
for folks might think you wanted to make
show" Don't look at your watch in church,
for 1t is evidence that you have more regard
for time than eternity" Never elbow
your nose" when you have chaw of tobac-
co" in your mouth, for you might get "choked."
!" Canes umbrellas" and "bdbies should
be left, on stand I" outside the door,"
"Dont change your seat" unless there are
lacks" in it, or " the little wee darling dear"
behind you "pulls" your hair; and even then
don't get uneasy or fdgetty, nor leave until
there is a "pause" in the sermon, and then go
out like the wick of "bob.tailed" candle.
Never "yawn' in church with stretch for
your " suspenders" might break, and you be
gathered together as scroll" Lmean if you
are gentleman. When returning from church,
if you are an tagged man" go quietly, and do
not stop on the way, to "cut up" any of your
freaks" No "lady' should stay to "chat''
on the road, unless she be superior" and
Of some consequence"
Should the sermon exceed lone hour and
forty minutes in length" you can shift your
position but not even then, unless you think
you can get an easier one. If a lady is sitting
by your side, and she be your superior" and
gets to nodding" let her lean her head upon
your shoulder, but keep your "eye" out and
that in Martin Van Burens transla-
ton of Homer, we learn
" That nodding Iion waits the impending fall"
IF on entering your " slip" you fad stranger
in it don't "kick him out" but let him be, ard
if the "sermon" is as long as some we know
Of he will get sufficiently punished for his au-
dacity.
ny Baron, the French actor, was great
fayorite of ladies. A woman of rauk used to
receive the visits of Baron very privately. One
tlay Baron unlimited cameinto her drawing-room
which was full of company ofthe highest fashion
and rank. Baron" said the lady, haughtily
and angrily, "what do you come for3"-hFor
my nightcap, Madam replied the indignant
actor in loud voice.
neA-The publication of the Springfield Post
has been resumed. The leading editorial in the
first paper which has appeared since its suspen-
ZION, shows up the Hon. George Ashmun in
most unenviable light.