Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1854-07-12
How Pipkin Bowed Himself.

Bill Pipkin hadn't been married very lono,.
had mt got out of the habit Of taking little
punch at drinking frolics with his friends on
particular occasions. He was first rate at max
ing excuses for staying out all night now
and then; he was terribly pressed with bus
mess, and as he took very gooO care never to
go home cross-iegged, bis wife never suspect
ed anything, and all went on well. One night.
however, Bill got rather more than he could
carry straight, but he didn't find it out until he
was on his way home. He wouldn't have
Susan know he was in such situation for the
world, and he began thinking as well as he
could with his head spinning round so, what
was best to be done 10 keep her from fading
him out
Hic-rve gotit 'zactIv." said he-(hic)
Su-Susan knows I'm (hic) terribly f.fond Of
m-milk. WellI'll jest lake a big drink (hic)
that'll fix all right-so (hic) sh-she'll never
suspect nothing, poo: girl.
Home ne went practising straight walking
on the way, and studying how he should talk
straight, so that Susan would not find it out
When he found the latch. which was on
the wrong side of the door, which opened the
wrong way TOO, he felt around in the dark
for more doors than were ever in the house
before, and into eVer-so-many shaped rooms,
till he found the pantry, where he expected
to find some milk. He had no clear idea
as to where it ought to be so after feeling
about IN every place but the right one, be
came to the conclusion to GO 10 his room and
ask his wife where it was. The stairs seemed
to be turned upside down and the bedroom
changed place with the kitchen, but he made
out to at last to find the room.
After clearing his throat, and saving over
his speech so that he could not make any
mistake, he opened the door and leaning
against the door post, listened to hear if his
wife was awake. She was sound asleep.
All the better for that thought he.
Susan Susan very low and plain.
Eh 2 said Susan just waking out of dose.
Is that you come hana- -mu-AAa-- -0~>l~.~-ae.
full of milk = Susan 2
What, my dear1
Is there any milk IN the house ?
Yes dear-but what 10 the world
Susan Susan
What, dear?
Where is the milk 2
In the pantry in the dining room, dear,
but you had better come to bed now, it's So
Bill didn't say word but took some terri
bic long steps in the dark. He found the
dining room again and the pantry, but he
couldn't find the milk anywhere. After try
ing FIVE minutes he went up stairs and lean
ing against the door to steady himself asked
his wife again
Susan Susan " said he, very emphaticaly,
'Eh-wha 2 said she, waking up again.
Is there anv milk in the housel
told you there was some milk in the
pantry, dear
Down went Bill again. This time he felt
everywhere and upset every thing, making
terrible racket among the crockery (; but moi
drop of milk could be found.
'Confound the milk, said he, where could
they have put it.
In minute he was at the bedroom doc
again.
Susan Susan said he.
Susan snuffed the snore short off in the
middle.
What 2 said she, rather cross this time.
Is there any milk in the house
Yes, told youv
We'll, where is it ? said he.
1 told you on the shelf-in the pantry
IN the dining ROOM said Susan, breaking
off in short nouthfuls.
That rather scared Bill and put him o
his guard.
We'll, Susan said he, IS 1t tied mp
anything or IS 1t layin' about loose.
This was enough-the cat was out Of Il
bag, and no help for it. Mrs. Pipkin WI
; bright awake in minute, and the way B
got candle that night, was enough to S
Der the drunkenest husband in creation
, He never got corned again-and it was mo
J, than year afterwards before he could drir
milk in his coffee, when Susan was at {
u table.