Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1854-07-20
Going, Going, Goinr.

The reporter of the San Francisco News
furnishes that paper with the following report
ofa speech made by California Auctioneer:-
"L Ladies and gentlemen, / now have the
honor of putting up line pocket handIer-
chief, yard vile, yard long and almost a
yard thick; one half cottO0 and tother
half cotton too; beautifully printed with stars
and stripes one side and stars and stripes
tother; 1t VIII wipe out dust from the eyes
50 completely as to be death to deGagoguss;
and make politics as bad business IS print
liz papers; its great length, bhrea3th and
thicLn S. together with It's dark color, viii
enable it TO hide dirt, ami never need washing;
going at one Gollar?-seventv-f couts.-
twenty-five cents?-one bite:-Nobody wants
~ Oh. thank you, SIR.
Fext. geat'emea, for the ladies' wont be
permitted to bid on this article, is real. 81
monPure, tempered. highly polished keen
edged, Sheffield razor; bran, spanken new;
never opened before to sunlight, moonlight.
daylight. or gas-l.qht; sharp enough to shave
q lagy-r, Gu: disagreeable acquaintance.
poor relation: handle of buck horn; with all
the Iiyets put the two ends, of pure gold.
Who viii give two dollars? one dollar? half
dollar! Why, ye long-bearded, dirtv-faced
reproOatcs, with not room enough on your
phlzzes for a Chinese woman to kiss, I'm OF
ring You bargain at half dollar? Well |
will throw III this strap at half a collar. ra-
zor and str&p-a recent patent; two rub> up
on 1t viii sharpen the city attorney: all for
four bits and a piece of soap-swester than
roses; latners better than a sch0omastcr; and
ST. T1ng enough to wash out all the stains from
California politicians countenance. ali for
four bits. Why, you have only to put tie
razor, strop and soap under vour pillow at
night to wake up in the morning clean sha-
we'd; woa't anybody give two bits then, for the
lot? knew | would sell 'em
Next, Ladies and gentlemen, [ offer three
pair of socks, hose, stockings or half hose,
just as you've mind to call them. Knit by
q machine made on pnrpose, out of cotton
wool; the man that buys these will be enabled
to walk till he gets tired; and, provided his
boots are high enough, needn't have any
corns; the legs are as long as bills against the
corporation, and as thick as the heads of the
members of Legislature: who wants 'em one
half dollar.-thankee madam, dollar,
Next, | offer you pair of boots: made es-
peclaliy Tor San Francisco, with heels long
enough to raise man to the Hoadlev grades
and nails to insure against being carried over
by land slide; legs wide enough to carry two
revoivers and bowie knife, and the uppcrs
Of the very best horse leather. A man in
these boots can move about as easy as the
State Capitol; who says twenty dollars? All
the tax payers ought to buy pair to kick the
Legislature with-and they will be found of
assistance in kicking the bucket: especially if
somebody should kick at being kicked-ten
dollars for legs, uppers and soles while souls.
and miserable souls at that, are bringing
twenty thousand dollars in Sacramento, ten
dollars. gone at ten dollars'
Next Is something that you ought 10 have
gentlemen; lot of good gallowses-some-
times called suspenders. / know that some
OF You will after a while be furnished at the
States expense, but you can't tell which one
80 buy where they're cheap; all that deserves
hanging are not supplied with gallows. if
20, there would be nobody to make laws.
condemn criminals or hang culprits, until q
new election Is made of pure gum elastic
stretch like judges conscience. and last as
long as California otiice-holder will stea':
buckles of pure iron. and warranted 10 hold
so tight that no mans wife can rob him of the
breechcs; are, in fact, as COOL. as strong. as
perfect, as c4cctual, and as bona fiic as the
ordinance against Chinese shops on Dupont
street-gone at twenty FIVE cents