New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1854-12-13
yEV PUBLICATIONS
pARyrv's CONFESSIONS.

10 q coDplete fltlonot hrptesebidH'o "04'
the arest Bsrruu will figure as the mos; pereci
type o. the genus wsg which has yet beG e1o:oite3
70 sn adniring world. In this respect, ne is
more decided curiosity than any Of the wonders
of the American Museum. T,s word "jOke"
emblszoned on ME forehead epti:ely ecIpses that
of hunbug. Thie i. the scores Of his success, as
a prac.icer ~ the credyiity of q long suffering
public. He is SO imbs-d with the spin. Of wag-
sery-so dyed in the vol with the love of fun
that he spreads the side.saasiDg contsglon-and
the spectator eeser. in.o the joke Of tue lsf@ss
maneuyre with as much unction ss he does hin-
self Bsrnum WAS born t. bis vocation. De -
clearly msn with destiny. The Inevitable
Snowman sppears, before be ca.s mis- second tes th.
His taste for practical Jokes 1ss bred 10 the oone.
He came By i. naturally enough too. HIS ma'er-
pal grfsof.tber Pbiness Taylor, (whose name is
inlmortslized in this ,tuU1e,) was m n OF the
same kidney. Success. ie this lice he beau
ideal of his ambition He would 20 y. 'aer wait
lpre1. work harder and cJntrive deeper to play
off an ingenious trick Oh Deiebbor, th4n for any
thing else in The word. The calliog OF our Illus
trious Snowman i. thus one of the most lucid
CAFES of hereditary instinct.
Barpurn made his debut in this mundane sphere
some forty four years ago. HIS CHILDHOOD was
spent in working on the farm, with the oc 'asional
solace of stick OF candy or bunch Of r1is,ns,
which his grandfather taught him 70 solicit from
the store keeper, at the lowest cash price Like
other farmers boys, he was Obliged 10 drive and
fetch the cows, carry in freEoOd, shell corn,
weed be cts and cabbages, and as he grew mp in.o
stout bobble de- hoy to rake and pitch hsy handle
the shovel and hOe and follow the plo8. This,
! however, did not suit his genius. lie never had
any fancy for work. His early dreams were OF
getting living in some easier way. He wished
TO turn to account the talents Of which he was
soon conscious Even before he was five years
OF age, be began 70 accumulate pennies and Elk
| pencee A. the age OF six, be had scraped TO-
/ petber coins enough to make dollar. Receiving
a silver dollar for the change, il doomed up in his
dazzled sight as equal to rhe great globe itself,
and be fully believ that the earth and all its con-
tents could he purchased by that wonderful piece
of bullion But even this enormous wealth was
found to be capsule of increase. His rogue OF a
grandfather paid him ten cents a day for riding
!
peddler, commencing with molasses candy, aud
gradually increasing his stock in trade till it CON-
prjsed ginger. bread, cookies, sugar candies. and
cherry rum He was thus fast becoming Il sec
ond Cresus, when his pile wss considerably re-
duced by the suggestion of bis father that he
should clothe himself with his capital.
TIE future Snowman still hated work. He
was constantly contriving all SORTS of schemes to
live by bic wits snd evade the sentence of gaining
his bread by the sweat of the brow. He became
the town. talk for laziness. His father despaired
of making anything of him. in the walks of hon.
est Industry; so he decided 10 give him chance
as a merchant, and the gifted PniDeas was duly
install, d in country store. This was the hight
of his ambition He found himself in his ele-
ment, and his head as SO completely turnedby the
! promotion, that he would scarcely vouchsafe to
speak to the common boys who bad 10 work with
their hands. lie soen learned the secrets of the
trade. Strutting behind the counter, with pen
behind his ear, he was wonderfully polite to the
ladies, made his entries on the day book With
oraculsr solemniiy, and with surprising diligence
served his customers in weighing ten penny nails,
starch indigo, and salcratus, or drawing New
England rum, or WestInda molasses. The store
was triplex Notwithstanding for cash, barter
or approved credit" Many sharp bargain was
driven by our little joker, witk old women who
paid for their purchases in butter eggs, beeswax,
feathers and rags, and with men who brought in
exchange for the contents of the omnium- gather
um, hats ak helyes, oats corn, buckwhest, hick-
oy .nuts and other country notions" In this
conspicuous station his genius rapidly developed.
1t found coDgenial society and perpetual stimu-
luz. The store was the rendezvous of some
dozen or twenty social, jolly joke-plsying wags,
who spent their evenings and stormy afternoons
in relating anecdotes, and engaging in projects
which gave hope of little fun especially after
their wits had been sharpened bya g treat, )" or,
in other words, glass of Santa-Cruz rum, old
Holland gin, or Jamaica spirits. Here is
specimen of one of the grandfather practical
jokes, which show the kind of nutriment with
which our aspirant's young ambition was fully
fed
What is the price of .stropsl" inquired my
grandfather of peddler whore wagon, loaded with
Yankee notions, stood in front Of our store.
"A dollar each for Pomeroys strops," responded
the Inherent merchant.
a dollar piece - exclaimed my grandfather;
they Il be sold for half the morey before the year
is out"
"If one of Pomeroy's strops il sold for fifty cents
within year, Ill make you present of one" re-
piled the peddler.
I'm purchase one on those conditions. Now Ben,
call you to witness the contract" said my grand.
father addressing himself to Esquire Hoyt.
All right, responded Ben.
YES" said the peddler, "Ill do as l say, and
there's 10 back out TO me-"
My grandfather took the strop, and put 1t in his
std ataf Droaar traut md tttrv