Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1854-05-05
a NANkEE WgpprNg IN Nrw IoRk.-

CHANGING to visit the Office Of Alderman -
the other day. we witnessed hymcnial ccre
mony that will bear narraing.
The bridegroom was a wcaihCr-bratCn cOun
iryman. perfect picture of good nature but
sotall that on entering the portals Of the Office
an involuntary ubcisnncc was necessary while
the artificial hol yhocks on the summit of the
brides bonnet lusI touched the elbow OF her
expected lord Their entrance was preceded
by m urchin with dllapllatch garments. who
claimed and received three coppels as his fee
fer guiding them to the spot.
"What can do for you, my good friends ~
asked the urbanc Alderman, AS if in utter lg-
ncrance Of the object of their visit. "Pray be
seated, madam"
"Well, Squire" answered the groom, with a
compliment glance at the hIagree breast pm
that fastened d,shing ribbon around the ady's
neck 'old Mrs. Pcttbone down to LINN
you've hear'n tell about her, reckon"
"Well, really, | think hardly know
guess not"
"Not heard tell of her. Squire why she
makes about the best pnmkin sass you ever put
in yewr stummik, reckon slips down list as
sleek as creased cnt crawiln through the int
OF a stove pipe
Every happy to be introduced to her, Sir
but don't let me interrupt you. Pray proceed"
"Jcs' SO. jes so. Well, old Mrs. Petibonc
gin me Dianthy, here, to get sp,edto to. She :
wilder woman, and old Deacon Petibone
made ropes of money in the shoe peg business
when he was alive, and | learnt the business
with him so yew dlskiver that nat rally
| liked the gall, and the old lady gin consent /;
80 If yew'll pronounce the ceremony your
moneys ready"
! 80 you wish to be married, eh?' queried the
leisure, in conversation. "May | venture TO
ask what induced you to break through a ba-
chelor's life?''
''Sartn. 'Squire sartln Iew see its nat
raj. Who ever hearn tell of bachelor CHIP
pin bird or bachelor bob -o-link: reckon
nobody has. And then amt doubin kinder
nat raj! Am double roses, and double morn
IN glorles and double phys the pootyst. and
don't everybody like EN- better than single
ones. The amount on it is, nature teaches it,
Squire, clear through the programmy, begin
ming with the robbins and leaving off with the
apple blossoms
"Very true, my good Sir; very philosophy
ca view of the subject. Turning to the lady
And you, madam, have you gwen this subject
the attention 1t merits p
Never mind her, Squire, lest let inc settle
that air business; 'taln't no kinder use to trou-
out your books and fire away
The ceremony was soon performed Our
"Reiorm' Alderman has carried improvement
even into that department of his dutios-and a
two dollar bill was duly placed in his palm ty
the newly-nadc husband. After he had conrra-
tuated the pair, and wished them success Jo
nathan exclaimed,
Squire you re reg lar trump, you arc
and IT you ever come to Lynn You II find stop
pm place with me, and a rousn welcome -
But, Squire and jonathan iacetouSly inserted
us fore-hnger IN the region OF the Aldnrman's
RIBS. I'm done with one horse bedsteads am
Good bye, Squire '-Jomnd Of Commerce,
SLAVERY CoMrRoNisEs.--W have compro-
missed, and compromised; and now we have
the Nebraska bill! A camel, brought from
Arabia In Persia, thrust his nose INTO the hut of
miller take it away, you ugly brute" cried he
but the camel pleaded that he was cold.
and the miller suffered hp So, by degrees.
he was allowed To Introduce ears and forc-lers
but these on solemn condition. OF ASKING no |
more. Scarcely had the miller turned round
when he saw the camcl's whole body sprawl
ing over the floor he demonstrated in passion, |
when the camel answered, "Oh, well, if YOU ,
ale at all lncommoded, do not stay on nv ac- !
count! Thus Slavery got her nose in, then
l.
her ears, then her torelcgs. on ''soenn cond- 1
tlon and presently you shall see her rnisshnpcn
length sprawlny over all Ncbrasku-UeniW .
PhWips
Some of the students Of the Indian, State
University were suspected to be in the hahn If
drinking brandy. Where they obtainsd !, wns
a mystery. Or. Dallv Determined IN ferro, o,,,
the secret. Calling into a sm,ll drnr store
the proprie,or asked him .bo,, Tho, s,l, -.
Mr.. Carter. came on: S,n.II,n,r a 90, ,I
DR.. answered in AN evasive ,n,nnsr onJ so,,
drew out of the apo,becnrv ,hn fac, tha, tho
students under suspicion had been in the hah,,
OF purchasing branay for sick student hv tho
name of Carter: that they said he was nui,e
low, and kept alive by 'srimuans; tina, the
young gentlemen seemed very mucb deyo,ad
ter was , 6c,it,nu. oI,ar'.,a "' o"t ms MS taf,
Tho socra, anu ''e IT. han
uowovor ho bon, H.; ~,
,oy, him. ,ha .,',J us Wv" counsel ne
moi "a, nr,vor, oa', "'S. ,. III '''c c'ia-
and .,,i.foI h;,',.oIc ~ O''i ''e ''""u'
,n nroson, Tho da,.a, ts me- NURSES we're
cd End ,ho, too.maI ,t' "o'e uuiy cohuuct-
irnts rsnarL,n, ,h., tne a''en'loh Oh the SUI
w na'ci ,ua,'''nl"I ''ln5 ne liaa nourniuI task
noc,,no he d,,,. s''',h GU. VI .nc oh'efslly
,ll1,, s,nJn, AZ. a''e t"c ueati OF thef
Ilness ~ saun,,i ~, I"''s'' A'er lingering
y,S on,, ln, "eeN1, portion Oh "nch ne
,ro,,baj BIZ; N'p' "'''G ~ s'inluISh'', ne had
1nnncomen, uo',il n,l "a' i,,, no uouPt tn'' an
p " o'iieh' ""uiu IaIi sadIy on the ears OF
,,s,,,, h'', la na' % la'.'iu'Iy atehded 10 MS
.esiHu,, unr ~ "Ipsu ,ney "ouio pear II with
an the If, rona.,aJ p i.a my "ouia renee, up
no wo,Id ro,, NV I .u' ."e"I"to mort 'hat
,Lon ~ ~, no 'oneei ue'dih thein, Out leave