New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1854-05-04
orson Lynch, MY ssats-Room partner.

NUMBER SO. "A
orson Lynch, My stats-Room Partner.
Tell an Englishman that the small island -
Britain is not the first country in the world
and, if he boasts the true fervor Of an en,h atic
Bull, you will probably be called ssdamna-
toned ass" Tell a Frencbman that fe piai-
SAINT pays de la france, as Marie Stuart apos-
trophised it, is not the first country in this
world or in any other, and he will shrug HIM
self into fine frenzy, informing you all the
while that it il an act Of condescension on the
part Of Partisan to exchange his home for
Heaven. But intimate to an American that il
is possible to inhabit country as great and
grand as his own, and-if he is of the calibre Of
my heFo-you will most likely refrain in future
you may conceive that horse kicked you
Neptune assigned me Mr.. 0rson Lynch for a
state room partner on voyage from New York
to Havre. 1t was after twelve, the first night
out, when had cuddled myself in execrabIe
sensations and the mouldy blankets of the ,kDnsy
berth, that my mate in misery made his first
appearance-like satyr fresh ssstarino from
the woods and tossing his Hircynian head A
single leather bag, in highly washed condition.
containing few changes of linen, and nearly
bursting with its rank freight Of g honey dew
and plantation segars, was the sum-total Of his
| travelling effects For moment he stood moon
| ing OF every thing around, after which he blew
his sonorous nose like q trombone, and pro-
ceeded to squirt a jet of tobacco juice with the
violence of garden hose against the opposite
wall A short shaggy dog, intensely perfumed
with salt water, and to all appearance arrayed
in a coat of the same material as his masters,
shot between the latter's legs, and leapt blithe-
| ly in his berth.
90 The devilr' thought.
| Ha-ar you, SIR inquired Orson, with q
patronizing grow1; at the same time crouching
his more than fathom form into more COM
| venient relation to the dimensions of our den.
e. ---," sighed |, trying to make an af-
firmative noise from beneath the pillow, whittier
my fastidious nose had skunk in a last effort to
repress the rising gorge melted by the combined
| aroma of strong whisky, strong segars and
strong dog. 51
"WhoopH' howled he, letting off a loud oath,
| as moderate barrel-full of water surged
through the broken port-hole down his nape,
permeating the very neeks and heels Of his boots
| in its impetuous diseharge-"I say, old torpid,
thar! the Mssssippi's risn' !; you'll feel directly
/ like q grizzly bar wakin' up in crevasse, with
his tail fast to snag. Thar aint mare d tree
about, whar Snafie and I ken roost till the
freshets over, SO s'pose we'll Jest have to take
it out under the bank here while you're srloozin,
overhead. But don't know about that, nei-
ther; calculate you were id clear O. stowin'
yourself SO low down in the muck, warn't you /,
And | can't exactly see why you should have
all the upper crust o. the pie, when thar's only
one o. you and thar's two of us-me and
Snattie-so, beggin' your pardon, you'll agree
that it's no more'n good breedin' to toss up
about the choice O. that dry crib Pm your
man, sir! I'll take you at loo, poker, or old
| sledge, if you prefer, an stand the whisky as
long as the game lasts. I reckon that's fair,
| hey - &
4 Between grief and nausea my utterance was
still unmanageable / would fain have repre-
sented in conciliatory tone. to him whom the
gods had sent as sharer of my vicissitudes, that
my title to the dry crib was founded in fair
purchase as well as in occupancy. Policy, ra-
ther than sympathy, whispered the propriety
| Of instituting friendly relations with an un-
known savage, whose ill-will, if rashIy evoked,
| might possibly doom me to a series of bedeyiled
| nights and days. So, projecting my ghastly
countenance over the narrow ledge, prepared
for desperate endeavor at propitiation while
Mississippi was already, acting on his idea,
far gone in hunt through the intricacies of
his carpet bag after pack Of cards, Already
had Orsen laid hands upon the object of his
search, when, during q tremendous lurch, a
trunk resembling small omnibus in size and
shape (my precious property. stole forth from
| its recess and rushed with the impetus of q
battering ram between his long stretched legs
| The consequences swere-ampriniis--th whisky
| bottle was in fragments-a well filled camphine
lamp also catching the contagion of its broken
heart fierce flame sprang up to the altitude
where lay, in its cruel ascent licking off to the
scalp every love-lock that hitherto had adorned
the unkempt Uranium of Orson Lynch The
greasy cards, falling like dry leaves, supplied
sad nutriment to the cenfagration. The dog
was all on fire. With o multiplex yell he start
| ed from his canine trance and began swift
stampede around his cell Thick and fast flew
curses from the lips Of Mr. Lynch, when the
door burst open and out flew Snaffie. still
ablaze; shrek followed shrek throughout the
long cabin as the lambent animal appeared and
vanished, like the quadruped hero Of German
romance; for at this weird apparition the
sheeted figures of sea-sick humanity commenced
q resurrection from all sides Night-gowned
loveliness was knocked over by my colossal
trunk, as it bulged beyond my door into the
wider arena of the ladies' drawing room For
tunately-most fortunately-at this crisis q
fresh cascade of saltwater gushed through the
port-hole and laid low in a trice both flames
and Mr. Lynch
| When the inquisitive crowd, attired with the
fig leaf simplicity appropriate to the place and
hour, focked to the inquisition of the cause of
| so much terror, Orson was discovered to be
| prostrate amid his chamber gods. A sixteen
inch bowie knife, which had graced his bosom
| during the day, was foundry what process
know not-plunged completely through the side
of his berth, where it wedged with such tenacity
that the instrumentality of chisel and hammer
could hardly effect its release. An intelerably
pungent altar, of which turpentine, burnt hair,
burnt dog, burnt whisky. burnt feathers, and
fried cheese, were the principal ingredients,
peryaded the apartment with its compound
strength. Through the dense vapor could oc-
casionally discern the sheeted and spectral f.
cures present themselves and depart in double
| quick time, as their noses secured a sniff Of
most excessive rankness. Few cared to crafty
their curiosity at such truly oyerpoWering
price.
Slowly at length rose orson from his trance
his first token of existence being a nasal explo-
sion, which Poyphemus might have been proud
of sc Whar's my dorg-whar's Snafle 2" was
his curt query.
/" My good SIR expostulated, !" to be plain
with you, trust your dog has jumped into the
sea, for you must know that he is the cause of
all these Internal proceedings. Just now you
were proposing to play poker for choice of berths
(Orson's face lit up); let me tell you it is quite
unnecessary. Although | have every right to
this berth, as it was assigned to me, and though
you have none at all, / will consent to give up
my claim, and exchange without arbitration Of
| either poker or old sledge-but on one condition
You must positively give up at once all idea of
| quartering your dog in this room, and you must
ISAap yf1A tl.A,