Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-01-19
VARIETY.

nz-A friend gave US the other day alshec-
linen Of a dsllcofe insinuatioA. Two fsllhws
were quarrening, one day, one of them bling
dark skinned After SEINE ~ErangliagI a
friend Of Fair skin stepped upto him. Rnd
toll' him to tell the other fellow he h&dIhig
ger blood in his veins. Hill
Il hate to do So said Fairskin.
You can iasinuate, reckon repliedIthe
other. tiIi
Look here 7 said Fair.skin, addressing his
antagonist, 4 say nothing agin you or Your
hlood-all1PTe get 70 say is this, IL th9y'll
as a2ga cur feet xh.E your grsnsSaIasT
ish, who prided herself much upon her Vice
hre23, and was also addicted to the com y on
trick Of depreciating her yiandste her GUESTS.
As she passed the nice warm biscuit to
Tie reverend gentleman, she said -
They are not very good; l am alMest
ashamed TO offer them The ministertbok
one, looked at it rather obviously, and re
piled II
@Phey are not so good as they mightIbep
The plate was instantly withdrawnland
With heightened color the lady exclaimsAI-
"Thcpdre good enough for yoatn
Nothing further was said about the is
: cult.
ia few days since, traveller steEped
into baak, and immediately after his.en-
france pulled eff his1hat, coat and crava5l-
This done, he easta look at the cashier. Who
was seated in the corner, calm as sumnrars
morning, and with commanding shaA4 Of
lhe head, said; a
Hadn't yon better be gettin' that ere
water heated p
: Ike teller Informed hin that he was in
tie 'wreng shep' You are il bank cir,
ll3t III barber shop
Bank, eli I calculated the strangers, Aang
me, they told me it was sharing'slo31
Qpic1 Wr-One Of The readiest raplies
We have heard lately was made By an Irish
laborcr. X gentleman travelling on horse
hack down east eamo upen an IrisbIIian
WHO was fencing in most barren and aes.
solate piece of laad What are youi fen.
eng in that lot for, Pat p said hA!-1
a hrl OF cows would staryc to dasth
IN that land And sure yonr honor, wasn't
| fencing tito kape the, poor bastes out iyIitl'
nss-A youth asked his fathers sanction
70 his project of#marriagc The cid gestle.
man, requesting his son to pray With him,
prayed that if tAe match was against the will
Of the Lerd he would throw obstacles Id the
way aud make it impossible The seh.lin, |
tsrrnpting him cried oh, Lord don't You
deisEer ,nnst have her, any how r 4Ij
4 Coon r rAsov-I say, Mr., Printarslao |
yon take South Carolina money! slI
No.
What IS tie reasOn-ain't il good III
Yes.
why dent yoa tako ii shcs1f sIH /
Can't getis. fiI |
IL lady being in want of cook
few days since, Published an advertiseIsans
ia the philadelphia Ledger, and was was<sd
On By any quaaky Of Ladies waatiagbs;tu.
atiens Amongst them was enc w6SH ON
being asked some questions, cut them sH5rt
Eith--'Neser mind about me- Marm3Iiet
mo see frst if tie place vill suit me, Hssen
you can inquire about me afterwards
- Bin, what brought yOu to prispEii
i couple Of caastables. SIR,
What brought them after your HI|I
Their legs, ! suppose
And had liquor anything to do With fsri
Yes sir, Eliza teased me SO, I had 10
Lick her I9
- An Hiberuian epitaph reads aaT5l
0ws lit is taken from the old ehurchysrd
i Belturbst, ireland Here lies john
Higley, whose father and mother were
lroEned in their passage from AmericsIl-
Had they both lived they would have ben
buried here
.Ths FIRST thing. said Jones. .sIn
oming into the tavsrn out Of the cold VIA
ask for, is the bill Of fare,
.eet ! says Smith, 1 think Of. the fire
Inst but never Of the BILL
There's woman at The bottom a.
very mischief said Jse. Yes, re1i;si
harley, when I used to get into miseh;sf
Y ns,1sF Nas q the bottom Of ne.