Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1854-04-12
hit ano Gumor.

hit ano Gumor.
BGJ~ Why is bill close to you like va
CUM
Because it's nigh bill (uihil
Who FIRST went cut sleighing? Cain.
What tree is woman's heart like whel
She 10 love?
A cypress (sigh press
say, Nose, wot kind Of ale do you Xix,
best
Nose, Indignantly, fem ale. (female.) yel
BOBBY.
Why is a Wall street bull great poet ?
Because he's dealer in fancies.
Why is u fat like one of the fair sex?
Because it's laid Il (ladye)
My Light of lights" Gas the King Of the
Cannibal Island observed, whilst making way
with bis Add wife, what sweet and tender
heart"
gG-An urchin. not quite three years OLD,
said to his sister, while munching a piece OF
ginger bread, "Siss, take half dis cake to keep
TO afternoon, when / get cross" This is
nearly as good as the child that beloved from
the top ofthe stairs. MA, Harnah won't pac-
ify me-"
The Three Degrees of Crime-BAD--
Why is a man the worse for water, like an
Indian rubber cloak : Because be is water.
tight.
WoRsE--Wby is Jacobs ladder like ten
der glances? Because it's lot of stairs.
WoRsT-Wby is every man a Clergyman !?
Because he's pas son.
Dg@A Western editor thus fills up blank
in column: |" Twas the dead of night-an
awful silence reigned The stars cast their
soft rays from the dome above Young Lu-
cius was not to be intimidated though be
was that night to peril his life-column full
pde"smith' gets off the following philo-
sophicsl epigram:
"It's no use arguing about what's right,
And preachifying about what is not;
fellow, if he thinks all day and night,
Can't pay the money which he hasn't gotn
Ek5.Two men in Eltona, were conversing
about the i'll humor of their wives. "Ah,"
said one, with sorrowfui expression, mime
is Tartar" "Well,,' replied the other,
mime is worse than that; she is the Cream
Of Tartar 7"
D'riration Of Buss.-Buss-to kiss. -
Rubus-to kiss again Blunderbus-two
girls kissing each other. Omnibus-to kiss
all the girls 10 the room
Bxss~ AN impudent fellow asked the oues.
ton. the other day, wheather medicine that
was advertised as a cure for the heaves, was
good Tor sea. sickness. The police are after
him.
gs2s@Dr johnson compared plaintiff and
defendant. in an action of law, to two men
ducking their heads in bucket, and daring
each other to remain the longest under water.
EkY-A merchant, being hurried, called
upon waggish neighbor The other day and
asking 1t be had spare clerk to lend him,
was referred to very thin young gentleman,
with pen behind his ear. as being the SPAR
est he had
BeS-'Are you Christian Indian {? asked
gentleman of one of the Cattaraugus tribe
NO, was the answer, 4 whiskey Indian
B1' There is fellow in this city DESTROYS
OF leaving the State but refuses to do SO be.
cause be cannot dispose Of his interest in the
State House.
1@-A letter writer in Canada West saws
You can't knock down farmer in the
whole country, with less than two hundred
pounis in his pocket
The frst bird of Spring
Attempted to sing,
But ere he had rounded a note,
He fell from the limb
Ah. dead bird was him
The music had friz in bis throat.
B4~ Whatever the wind may do in winter
it cannot be denied that in spring it turns owe.
new leaf
Bas%Wby cannot gentleman legally pos
sess short walking stick? Because it car
never belong to him.
nB-lf your mothers mother was my
mothers aunt, what relation would Won,
great grandfather nephew be to nv eide
brothers son. in- law
9kJ- She has destroyed my hopes forever .
exclaimed an infatuated gentleman.
How inquired his friend
by reatising them rejoined the happ,
one. ~
D@-To find out an error is easy; to dis
cover the truth is difficult Error d on tn
snrfaee. but truth dwolls at the bottom of tb
we'll.
pkY-If we could have a little patience. w
should escape much modification; time take
away as much as it gives.
g@-Why is widower like dilapidate
housef Because be wants to be re paired
DJ-Tbe man who lately received 'loc
Of bair. is now on the look out for the Ike
TO It.
BE-The nso who was precipitated fror
che height of bis folly" looked ridiculous
and wished he had never mounted it.
D6y-Wanted to knog--The velocity of
running account"
DIarIf the doctor orders bark. has not tb
= L. 4.