The Cedar County advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1856, 1854-07-29
Stems.
etD- How to get good wlfe--take
good girl and go to the parson.

Tor.
sSy- Love your neighbor as your.
self" William Henry says he does, and
more than ever, since Lizzie Jones lives
mex, door. M.
Sail" said lispIng Bill, if you
don't love me, thay tho and II you love
Inc and don't like to thay tho, thqueeth
my hand.
ksaT 4 friend OF ours, who was few
miles in the country the other day, re-
la,es the following:
a mile or two from town, he me; u
boy on horseback crying with cold.
"Why don't you get down and lead
him ?" said our friend that's the way
to keep warm" ....
"Ii's b.b-borred horse, an I'll ride him
if trsess!"
sa1 ''Mr. Smith, shall help YOU to
the butter g Thank you marin; be-
long to the temperance society, and new
er take anything strong"
E4- The man who courted an inves-
tigaton, says 1t is not half as good as an
atectiona,e girl. We expect not.
sas- The daily papers all record the
fact that the stone-eu,ters have struck
Wide Awake enquiries how they can
cut stone withou, striking
EsS- What are political platforms p
SAID an old lady. 3D." said her worse
half, "they are platform scales where
they weigh Presidents
tT Johnson says tina, the creates,
maglcians of the age, are the paper ma
kers. They transform the beggar's rags
into sheets for editors to lie on.
esa No man can do anything agains,
his will, said a me.aphysician Faith, :"
said pat, IL had a brother who went TO
Botany Bay agains, his will, faith and
he did,"
srs~ He was a poetical man who de-
scribed ladies' lips as glowing gateways
OF beans, pork, sourkrout. and potatoes.
e9 There is not one room in one
hundred in Paris that has a carpet on it.
The floor is made of brick Land down gen.
orally In squares. .
4 California correspondents of Ken
lucky paper. gives the following account
OF the manner in which suit was settled
IN the Golden State:
ssy- The Louisville Journal states
upon the authority of gentleman who
arrived from Lexington on Monday eve
ning, that the hair Of Weigret, found
guilty OF murder in the first degree, which
was formerly black, has turned to white
since his conviction.
EeDA To the frequently asked question
: Which side Of the horse has the mos,
halr on 2 the following answer has been
received, which we believe to be correct
viz: The outside
i am going to the post office, Bob,
shall enquire for you2' Well, YES, If
you have mind 10, bur don't think you
will find me there.
Never bay thing merely because i,
IS cheap, or marry a girl for her beauty.
Tue first will insure your ruin by prov.
ING too dear, and the second BY being 100
cheap. The only way is to purchase on.
y what you really need and 10 keep
clear OF water colored calico. Try both
md see.
Few persons can get money in New
ofk, IN the sheet, so say the papers, a,
ess than II per cent. Railroad paper
goes al ID 10 Is per cent. The orders
ION abroad 10 invest in railroad secnri.
les OF the first class, in this country. are
aid TO have been large by late steamers. |
tss@ Within the las, three days more
han tinity cases Of sudden death have
ecnrred In the city and immediate yicin-
y, most OF which were from the effects
i sun and heat. The Coroner has been /
0 busy that he has been unable 10 record
hem IN the book he keeps for the pur.
se.-.no. Rep.
81 The examination Of witnesses
etore the Grand Jury oil the L. S. Cir
III Court at New Orleans, in relation ,o
ne projected Cuban Ftllibus,er, is not
satisfactory, many Of them refusing TO
'stl!y on the plea that their answers
'oald eliminate themselves.
f.a- The N. Y Tribune learns from
source Of the highest respectability,
lat the English steamers in the fleets
rove to be nearly useless, because the
achlnery IS liable TO get out of order
ON The concusslon caused by their own
-oadsides.
feo= Ii the Marine Cour, of New
ofk verdict Of $3.50 damages was ,
naered young man for injuries sus-
med BY the bite ofa dog. TINS should /
warning u parties owning dogs. !
The City Of Jeddo in Japan is sand to {
the third i'll population in the world /
ondon being the first and Paris the sec. |
I'd in the scale. i
1t coats half . million dollars year TO
e? St. Peters Church at Rome, in 70. y
III. c
To make a Russian name--imi,a,e the !
hug OF bull frog, give one sneeze. :
d say ski. =
Some gallant defender Of Lola Mon.
recently wrote, She is pure inno- d
nee. The wicked types. however :,