Columbia gazette. [volume] (Columbia, Tuolumne County, Calif.) 1852-1855, 1854-12-30

he has horns, and the other maintains
ing that his birthstone friend is muley
but they both pitched into the Pope
abused all foreigners, denounced the
Church of Rome, walked into the affec-
tons Of the Catholics generally-talked
learuedly " priests, inquisitions, dun
geons, thumbscrews, martyrs, converts,
nunneries, and other luxuries, as being
the only legitimate offspring Of the
mother of denominations, the scarlet wo-
man and in fact, seemed to be having
the field entirely to themselves, when
10 ! change came DER the spirit Of the
gospel show /; for in the midst Of the
crowd suddenly appeard, a third COM
battant-his classic dress and intellect
ual face gave unmistakable evidence that
he was from the "Gim of the Ocean"
With the digni6ed and majestic bearing
peculiar to some of his countrymen, he
slowly mounted the steps, and took a po-
sition directly between the two, and in
a voice strongly tiuctured with the Sweet
brogue,' announced himself as cham
pion of that much slandered gentleman,
the Pope Of Rome. At this astounding
impudence, the woman, for single in
slant held her peace. Gabe was SO taken
aback that he seemed about to collapse,
played an cad ibitum" interiude on the
tin horn, and all hands "pitched in" (as
Miss Agnes Robertson says). Gabriel
commenced the onset by asserting that
the Pope is not strictly bachelor, but
has seven white wives in his parlor, thir-
teen ditto bound in law calf in the libra
~, a hundred and forty-one golden
haired damsels in his private apartment,
and a perfect harem of jetty beauties in
the coal hole.
Petticoat followed by saying that he
breakfasts on Protestant babies drinks
whiskey punch out of Protestant cler-
gyman' s skull has an abducted Protes-.
tant virgin to black his boots; ffty-sevea
Protestant widows to dig his potatoes and
hoe corn, and that he rolls n.pius ey-
ery afternoon with the heads of Profess
tant orphan children.
Irishman indignant denied an-said
the country is going to old Knick, AID
some fine morning We shall wake up and
End that the Pope, unable longer to en-
dure our perverseness, has sunk us al
forty miles deeper than ancient Sodom !;
said that his Holiness could send us sll
to perdition with one wink of his left
eye; that he is the head Of the Church
on earth ; has all power to save or 9th
erwise could get us all out Of Purgato-
ry, and send us all exiting into heavez,"
by wagging his little finger !; that he
could, like Joshua No 2, make the
Sun and Moon stand still: make the
planets dance an astronomical rlgadoon
cause the hills and mountains to exc
cute mighty jig, while old ocean
should beat the time against the blue
vault Of Heaven, and applauding An
gels encore the huge salutations.
Gabe said he did not believe the
yarn. Petticoats remarked something
about Star Spangled Banner being al
ways right side up.
Irishman proceeded to describe the
future home of the happy in another
world, as place where there should
be plenty Of potatoes, and oceans Of
genuine whiskey.
Symptoms Of free fight now rapidly
developed into an uncivil war. Petit
coats got mixed up with the crowd, and
presently emerged rather the worse for
wear, barefeoted, bareheaded, hair down,
nose injured by collision, eye in mourn
ing, mouth bloody, and her whole ap-
pearance reminded me Of the "sow that
hath eaten her nine ihrrow." II for
got who penned this Apostle question,
and asked Bull Dogge, who, being excl
ted by the fray, angrily asserted that it
is by "Nero &c some ID old cuss"