Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1854-11-29
lllisrella ucoll5.
G0ING WEST TO SETTLE.
BIG FIGaTs. STEAMBOAT EXPLOSIONS, AND
TURKEY DuzZAEDS.

Ban Hu5bus vert off West, one fall, to
see how things looked preparatory to select
ing location 10 settle. Dan vas an uado
yeloped genias. full b.ooded Iapsee brisk
and industrious as an educated flea; he
wasn't afraid Of work he had an inventive
faculty, was good humored, always Of a lively
turn, bat lived ia almost too near flushed
town for a man Of bis Duplicated grand action,
and spreading ambition. to flourish. Dan
got up one morning with his plans for the
futur manufactured to order.
',Ieroosb, says he to his wife, I've been
ealse.atis' that this taown don't 1T me. no
how
sea' es.' was Jerushn's exclamation, 'baow
yeou do talk. Dan1.'
'ralke Dan responds, rushing first one
foo. and then tqther into bis boots; i'm 60
lug West to settle =
'sases yeou be! Why haow yeoa du talk /;
who in sin owes yeou anything aout there,
Danl7
Owes me anything, hnmph! They say
the world owes every (ellcr in it Twin but
If any teller gifts it vitbaoat rootin' ound
sum I've missed fsger'
And then Dan went into a state Of more
definite clucidstion to his full fedsed REALM
ton Of down East wife and mother lie
packed up an extra dickey Sc S in that
never to-be forgotten yaller valise c5rricd b.
every perambulaiiag Yankee, frepi the Pc
nobscot to the interstees ofthe Russian .al-
way baggage crates going to Moscow, and
found 'bchiud the ba' of Rocky Mountaia
| Tavern
Dan heard the good report of Ohio he
went direct thcre, but week travel seemed
TO settle conviction in bis mind that where
people lived on yaller corn, it might 20 agin
lis vite's grain. Corn pork was no; 50 bad.
corn bread eudurable. bat te 60 an eutirc
'bill Of fare Of corn puddjags, corn cakes
coga coffee and corn whiskey, with corn
shuck' feather beds, rather cornfouodcd DAM
calculations, and So lie progressed on to In
diuna. There things were a little behind
Ohio; corn luxaries were too numerous 10
mentions but the people had q way Of taking
corn tea a little too strong, talking politics
and swearing in manner that gave Dan s
moral compuuctiona twist contrary to his
IDEAS Of what was doiag things on a square
SO be moved his boots few pegs farther.
At the FIRST Tavern that hove in sight, af
Ter reaching Illinois, early one moruior. Dan
halted, and not seeing anybody visible bat
that of an ugly deg, with pair of leaGeu
booking deep sunk eyes mouth to match, and
figure Indicative Of the poor beasts being
brought up on cracker Kegs the hoops pro-
trudiog almost through the skin in forty acute
angles all over bis body, Dan sung OUT
.iellol anybody to hum? a door open
ed and the 5ulet head of buck niger APP
poarcd
Hcllo!' says Dan. Doctor who keeps
shop here!
'Wba wha villa massa Je.J eo-Jeems DO,
giuernlly, bn-bu bus you see dis is bis id
day to sh SD shake and CORY he he he's
gone ct en-"
sShake?' echoes Dan, that's darued
pooty idee. tn what does he shake?
sOh well yo-yo-you see, boss, dey's bab
de. Do de ager (ague) round h-ho-herc, lit
lie. deg dus.'
'Agy. eh? Well, is tie landlady around 2
'N.n.no, sab, missus she's g.g.got EN-
tor