Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-01-26
Variety.

~ lBrsther. I've get y ticket fer the
Gallant Band Ball, Whish comes eff next
sTuesdsy night. cant gss besu-ron.
Take youl Nsr replied the affection
ate brother Pm gsing tpsa hsygnessing
a what l'~cried the sister boiling With
rags. IN
"A hog guessing replied the brother.
What's tha,i
"A select party where sIboys guess the
weight Of hogs, and bet on fhe result
And you're going to tSsfff ar things
yes, lam HI
eAnd you won't 60 with IRE 70 the ball =
No tell you po I Iii
Then, just tell you whaa is IS cried the
infuriated sister, shaking TER delicate little
fist nudet the nose Of her sAbctioAate bFsth-
err you're low. mean, khntcmptible fell
low and as mothers laidEpp, AID karn't-
~4Snd to things, aud as I'm Iislhjor Of this ss-
adjustment, I'll take good care that yon
don't gel any 6Hcksoheat edses for a month Z
VINO MADE Youp-Onesf the ladies con-
nacted with the sMethodlst Five Points
Mission, who has under Fer charge some
thirty little boys, called them together on
the m 5rning Of ChristmasIlts perfect them
in their answers TO questions she Intended
to pa. them before visitors during the after
noon. After arranging thsm properly, the
first boy on the right, in anSNer to the ques-
ton. aWho made your was TO say Sod
The next "0f what were you made2' reply
"The dust of the EARTH AID 50 on through
the Cateehism The all-intpOrtant memept
having arrived, the little fshayers were told
20 stand ND. The little head hey, II seems,
was missing, but the fact being unnotised
by the teacher, she proceelelt with the CUES
ton, "Who made your watch elected the
following laughablc answaf: Il was made
out Of dc dirt Of the 'ert UNI the little Teller
what God made has got GA belly ache and
gone home l5l
ns~The following anecisle i told By the
Chicago Journal Of GoYsrnor Reynolds,
whom they call the sold Rangers IL Hi
/ nois, when for the first tipei in his life he
visited the seabossd as a representative to
]. Congress frem the back settlements. Upon
reaching Baltimore, the GAFernor rose ear.
~ in the morning aud paid visit to the
shipping at tae docks, whoa the tide was full
and again at noon, when Il was at cbb; and
not satisfied with the sudden change that
had taken place, again in the evening when
the tide was la Heretsfera he had resolv-
ed to keep everything to himself, and 70 in
pursuit OF knowledge under difficulties, on
his eHn heck but now bis establishments
broke over its bounds, and as be returned
tothe Hotel, the cid Ranger remarked that
athis was the cariestsest country be ever
seed IN his life-two freshets in enc day, and
nsry drop of rain r.
rS-We Should like to know how many
spokes there are ia a WheelES f Fortunes!
0fuhat kind Of Der is the post Of honori
What kind Of kpife is used id cutting capers7
WHAT would the, telegraph line DO good fer
on fishing excursionf I'LL
Er"My dear fellow" said Beau Hick
man TO a waiter in hstsl + have respect
for flies; indeed, may say. ! am fond Of
hies-but like 10 have thsm and my milk
10 separate glasses; they mix SO much bet
ter when you have esatrol ISf both ingredi
entsn iii
ErA clergyman had just united in mar
rage couple whose Christian names we're
respectively benjamin. aud Ann. allow
didthey appear during the ceremony ?" in
quirsd friend They appeared both an.
nlcmatsi and teanit lttei.1 4 was the ready
reply. liz f
arThe best board in the world for dys-
pepsis young ladies' is said 70 Be the cash
board 1t gives them strength of muscle,
an exabsrance Of spirits, good appetite for
their meals, and fuPercedes the necessity Of
painting their faces. IEf
IA model return upon writ was re-
Gently made by Deputy Sheriff in Morgan
County, Indiana Ii wass-..Sarved the
within. but was 6t With brickbats BY the wo-
nan so tia. couldn't sarye IL"
Es.Somebeay says, "a baby laughing in
its dreams, is cenversiBg With The angels
Perhaps Sc aud we have seen them crying
Ia their waking hours, as though they we're
having spar With the devil.
H-Drasing teeth and drawing coaclu-
sions are not great way apart, after all
siaee enc comes from the braid, and the other
from the jaw. People alwajs stir the me-
lars when they thing, and always think when
they lose mslar. IE
HPWhateysr the fact ms3 BE-, it seems
reasonable TO expect that tie agricultural
districts should supply the best soldiers, con.
sidering the experiences Of farmers in field
practics, aud the knowledge they mus. have
Of dfilliag.
SHALL LaplEs HAvg YorEs ID srtailly,'
replies sstroag.minded usnsn Of our &C
qusintance. 'sis HemaA made only to sew
on bustonsl Aud If she Is, yeu have no
right 20 turn away the Needle from tie Poll
KrThese is no place lkp bone, unless
tbs the home Of the ysung h|dy that you're
s'sflsr III
E-The uniform Of Primes Gortschakeir !
Mas not been described w pslisys Tie
lxincipsl article Of il is ucnlia9ay.'
N1rThs Gents Almanac nays, .'it taxes
1 NSse springs . mako e.e ieit gear"
N3rNezer bs afraid Of catching ,sld from |
. 4 ever e curls I
= saNake ysnrselfa t5.5},e = tie az
thsr !. 4 y lie na1ussript
"a Ynake, b.s Invented nashins Tor