The weekly Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1852-1855, 1854-12-07
] ! Am Arkansas Invention.
OR, HOW TIE GENERAL "sold" TIE EDITOR
OF THE scIRsrtytc AMERICAS.


OR, HOW TIE GENERAL "soid" TIE EDITOR
OF THE SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN.
About the commeneemento the present
decade we had the honor Of being one Of
an illustrious trio who originated and con-
trolcd a Democratic newspaper, named
the 4rtansatO Travster, published at the
flourishing town ofCam1en, Ouachita, Co :
Ark. We numbered among our exehang-
es the SCIENTIFIC AxEmcAS, valuable, then
as now. Among our patrons in Camden
was one GeneralTom Woodward "a shrewed
old gent, full Of apecdctes, an iuveterate
practical joker, gpod judge Of "rye' and,
to cap the climax df his ccnyiyial accom-
phstments, was great on the "Arkansaw
Traveller" "a celebrated dancing turc with
a legend. One sultry day in tie summer
Iof2b0, the General walked,into our print
ing Office, picked upthe Sientifc 1meri-
can and commenced reading the Editors
Notice to Inventors" in which he offered
his services in the obtaining of patients for
useful inventions, DC After reading it
through, the General requested pens and
paper. The stationary was placed before
him, and in a few moments he had writ
ten his letter, sealed and superscribed it to
Mum & Co., New York, and our devil
was despatched TO the post Office with it.
We "smelt MICE" but said nothing
The nexttime the Scientific american came
we eagerly opened it, and there, sure G.
nough, among the "notices to correspon
dents" was the following:
"T. w. Camden, Ark.-Musicalin inven-
tons, if of real benefit, and not too costly,
generally prove lucrative to the inventor
We cannot inform you as to the practical
biliiy of obtaining patient, until you send
us model, or an accurate description of
the instrument"
This paragraph we read to the General
the. next time we saw him; for our polite
ness in the matter, he permitted us to read
his. description ofthe wonderful instrument
previous to its being despatched to the Sci
entjfc american; it was as follows:
Dear Sir: By your request | will as
briefly and clearly asI can, endeavor to
describe my new musical invention. Ii
has very much the appearance, at first sight
of a case for huge, double action harp;
from six to eightinches square at the small
er end. thence gradually expanding to four
feet square; one side perforated with augei
holes. The inner compartments Of the in.
strument are occupied by swine from the
four weeks roaster at the little end, rang.
ing gradually up to eight year old male
grun:er-the tails Of all protrnding through
the before mentioned auger holes. The
performer stands upon the outside of the
instrument, with couple of blacksmith
pincer's in his hands; he has thus full com
mand of the machine, and practiced hand
can run the chromatic scale in most bril-.
liant manner. You will at once perceive
thrt my invention is a valuable one, com
bning immense volume of tone with an
almost unlimited power Of expression, and
vast composition the shrill soprano of
the nfanlile porker, down to the decp"ped-
der base," as Mrs. Partington, expresses
it, of his more aged ancestor-tEus inclu-
ding ever SO many octaves. By prolong-
ing the pinch the tones can be prolonged
indefinitely, thus doing away with the Eo-
lian Dolce Campana, and other attachments,
(including the sheriff's. have not yet
decided whether to call my invention the
"Swinett' or the "pig-anna." Your ad-
vice upon this subject, together with your
assistance in obtsining a patient ''accor-
ding to Hoyle, twill be gratefully taken by,
- Yours truly, $685.