The Shasta courier., 1854-01-07
A Rich Letter.

The following description of a visit to the
Ohio State Agricultural Fair, we find in the
Portsmouth IslbHne. II is one of the best things
of the kind we have read for long time 1t is
real . laug ia and grow fat " yarn. Read it.
Ono STATE FAIR, Dayton, Sept Cd, 1853
Mister Itibune, Hameas t- Clippers:
Dear Sir-We are here ON the affair grounds
all well and hartsoine, close to the double cyln-
der Battering Ram on one side and the Patent
Cement Man and Perpetual Squirtin' Jenny OH
the tother, with wimmen gigglin, chickens
CROWN, babies cryin' and policemen cussin all
round us-hopin' you enjoy the same blessin
Just as the Sciota was going out yesterday,
Mr.. Taylor, the gentlemanly clerk saw us on
the Springville landing and very perliiely stop
ped the engine, reversed the bilers till we got
ON. Next morning we was at Cincinnaty, and in
few minutes was transported to the cars The
cars is great sight. Imagine all the one story
houses in Portsmouth tied together and behind
them fastened all the stables and pig pens-apd
then people at all the windows and a team run
ming off with the whole procession, and you will
know little how they look.
While the Captin on the platform was screw
in his wheel and the iron horses blowe their
noses tew-times to get good start, | tried to
get some gingerbread for Jeemes. But lust as |
handed over my quarter and the boy reached
over the refreshments, the cars started | per-
Htely asked the little spider-legged conductor at
the Wheel if he wouldn't stop aud let me rect-
fy, but he only unscrewed and went on faster
saying he guessed I'd been takin too much of
the rectfied' already. Mr. Hannas my blood
billed; and if it hadn't been that the striped
painted serpent had to do all the screwin' for the
whole train, to keep the cars from running of
the track, Ed knocked him off the nasheen
My wife, Sarah Gump, and Kesiah Gump my
nephew, both afraid I'd break the car. or
tear my clothes.
At Xeny they stopped to eat a bite and change
blers and | hadn't got down more than three
four cups of coffee and plate of biskit when
] seed a at the head of the table dashine
out some kind of gravy or soup. So thinks says
/, that's the soup-erlntendent and he's the man
TO tell OF concerning the striped painted cuss
While the wlmmen got the car and the
crowd hustled, slipped up TO the sup man.
and told him how I'd been treated. He seemed
like clever teller, and the more said and the
madder got, the better be seemed TO feel Saws
he q 1t shall all be right" and SAYS Let's
drink" We'd just turned ronnd to the bar and
lifted the glasses when, as said, : Here's luck
TO the railroad Soup" some one holered out
3 All aboard - and away went the train swifter
than hungry hound goes 10 dinner. .An
'boardn' thinks says If they're not all bored
MIR. Philander Camps badly perforated any
how.
knowed it was plan of the striped painted
william TO leave me, and determined if long legs
and willing disposition would do any good. to
overtake him. His steam up. and so was
my dander; and | felt though | had little
locomotive IN each leg of my pantaloons. | ram
leaped, scratched gravel, elongated and ex-
tennated dilated, dissipated space | eIoped
until nature slid by me like panaraina painted
'on ightning. But 1t wouldn't do I've seen the
day when | could have passed kia,-before Per-
rvs vicfory-but ever since then the Ere-sipe-
las has stltfened my lints, Sary and Jeemes and
kesiah waved their handkerchlets and hollered
g Come on. Phile - but | laid down and rolled
over, and sweat and swore worse nor General
Washington in Flanders. The last thing see
was the striped pants fading in the distance. un-
Ill the critters legs looked ike two garter
snakes.
Mr.. Haanas. | was sizzen hot that if I'd
been dipped in the Ohio river I'd taken the
:. chill off the water from Pittsburgh 10 Padu-
cab the very railroad slls smoked where
touched 'em. and my pulse beat like the tilf-
hammer in rolling mill Bat the two o'clock
train took me on, and / found the rest of the
Gump family at the Fenix house. They said the
clerk told them all the rt oms was full but they
could have one long enough to change in. So
they's been ehansin ever since, and kezial said
she WIS bound 10 change all night but what she
would keep the room. Ralee we've seen all
sorts of sights and hearn all kinds of sounds
I'd ike to tell you the half but between drink
IN beer, and Congress water, and Ciuonade
and Sody wafer, and eatin, cakes. and cheese
and herrin, and crackers and apples, and peach