Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1854-06-19
For the Grant County Herald.

la great Cali loT pdtiioIio oiaHo' o'A soAe
day and / have thought that as the or
ators are frequently young men. not We
Try well posted up in history, few hints
might be of servi ce to some by enabling
them to make more glorious Grafton
than they otherwise would do. The or
ator will naturally go back to the time
we were British Colonies; he must de-
pict in glowing colors the expressions
endured by our fore-fathers-how they
were required to pay three pence per
Id. duty on tea-how they resisted, step
by step, and how they finally boarded
the ships and threw the tea into the sea.
Here the orator should draw himself up
to his full height, inhale as much air as
his lungs can contain, throw up his arms,
clap his hands, give spring into the air,
then settle back into his natural positio
and pause for three cheers.
| But to make good speech for the 4th
the orator must remember that there are
some things that must not be told, for
should the whole truth be told it would
often spoil the broth. When the orator
depicts in glowing colors the heroism Of
our grand-fathers in seizing the British
revenue officers in Boston, and making
them resign as the only way to "save
their bacon,' he must not tell them that
Boston folks cannot or dare not now pro-
tect themselves against the slave power ;
and don't tell them that Daniel Webst ter
did as much as any man who ever lived
to bring this damning disgrace upon
Massachusetts and the whole country
No, no, don't say anything about it; it
would be cruel not to let the people
have one day in a year in which to try
I to work themselves into the belief that
they have yet little liberty left. The
past has been hard year for the peo-
Pile, politically speaking. In this State,
the Maine Law, murdered in the Legis
lature in defiance of the known wishes
of large majority of the people. In
Congress we haye seen the last foot of
free territory sold to the Devil, Pierce,
Douglas & Co., by some 40 northern
men who are as yet unhung. The ora
tor will do well to spend most of his time
in clarifying the old Revolutioners.-
Don't say anything about the assistance
we received from France, for it would
take off most of the cream. The orator
can then pass on to the war of 1872 and
give short descriptions Of the battles in
which we were victorious, emitting the
others for want Of time! or, because
they would not be edifying! The ora
tor should here swell himself into the
longest size and throw himself into
rage, then condemn the laws, manners
and customs of all other nations. by
this time we may conclude the orators
wind will begin to fail him, and business
should be SO arranged that when the or
ator stops, the big gun should be fired
then sing Hail Columbia or Old Dal
Tucker. Here it will be best to adjourn
for an hour TO raise steam and strength
en- the inner man for a review OF GU
Iglorious victories in the Mexican War
The Mexicans should be depicted a.
1.-THE greatest and most formidable warrl
ors that ever trod the earth-don't le
the people know that they Were an eft
Terminate, acknowledged set of drones
with no higher ambition than to get thei
women and children strapped on to thu
donkey and taken out Of harms way
no, no, keep that profound secret, tol
if people should generally find it ou
they would not swell much with the glo
ry obtained in that war. Should the or
ator wish to charge the Mexicans Gas i:
sometimes done) with plundering oul
commerce and taking our ships, it Ii
possible that some meddlesome persei
may arise in the crowd and request tt
be informed how they did it, as they ha6
no navy of their own-did they swim a
long the coast and seize our ships ii
their jaws as an alligator does his prey
Should such case occur the best thing
the orator can do is to request some O
the friends to carry that individual out
as he is disturbing the meeting. The
orator win do well to mention some O.
the Revolutionary worthless, tell then
how Patrick Henry drew himself up t.
his full height and exclaimed "Give M
Liberty or giue me death !" (here fir'
the cannon, but don't tell them that W,
have three millions of people in these
States each of whom will if he attem pit
to carry out the principles of Patricl
Henry subject himself to be burnt at thu
stake, while surrounded by host of pc
litlclans and e regret to say) preacher.
OF the Gospel, $50 called, crying ou
Amen! great is our goddess Slavery
OF the Americans - Should the orator
wish to make the people believe the,
are sovereigns, as is sometimes done, h,
must talk largely of the hallot-box AMI
its power to regulate evils but dom
tell them that their candidates will all b,
selected for them beforehand by some
broken down politicians and politica
gamblers in midnight caucus over
jug Of whiskey, for if you Go they will
scarcely think it worth, while to leav,
the pillow to attend election, for they will
see that it amounts to nothing but
choice of evils and they think they have
, had political evils enough the past yea
to suffice for their whole lives.
As the rummies obtained a signal vic
tory in our last Legislature it is proba
bic they will celebrate their victory a
well as their independence on that day
and ! would suggest that at every cele