Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-03-11
G1&029T9

old blind mare with sheep skin SaGu.a
rode up in front Of the POST Office The oIher
day and screamed out
.IIu 10 Mister Post Masterr
Yes, yes brawled out Jim as he arose
from his chair, about half asleep, what
Will YOU have sir
Is thar any letter for meT
What is your name, sir ,
Lewis Cass Polk, and | amt ashamed
Of NY name nu,hCr.'
NO letter here for any gentleman by
that name sir
.WeIl thur or,er be- he exclaimed as
he looked furously at the Post Master.
'Whar's the other Post Office ?
There is but one Office in town
We'll dam such town that cant al
ford but one Post Office said he as he
brought down his beach CAD upon the
frame of his old blind mare and started of
in a gaIlop, his soap locks flying in the
wind and his eyes searching every corner
for another Post Office.
An exchange says-Can any OF our
readers peruse the following touching aP-
peal and retain dry eye! Ii they cane
they must be hard hearted:
Oh Sally dear, the evenings clear,
Thick flies the swimmCu swaller,
The sky Is blue the fields IN view,
All faded green and yaller.
Come let us stray our toilsomc way,
And view the charms of nalur--
The barking dogs, the squealin hogs
And eat our roasted tater.
4 ltle more animation, dear whls-
pcred lady B., TO the gentle Susan,
who was walking through quadrh'c'
DO leave me to manage my own BUSINESS,
mamma replied the proyident nymph;
i shall not dance my rlnglets out OF curl
for married man. 'Of course not, my
love; but was not aware who your
partner was
Moonshinc and nonsense somehow al
ways 90 together. Let young folks go
out after Mss Luna is round, and they
are sure to say aad do all sorts of foolish
things. Miss Podge is sensible enough
whea the moon is of, bnl the moment the
silver lantern is hung out, she bankers
after promenades, lemonades, Mr.. Rufiles,
jr., horseback jauns, and kindred blisses'
The moon must be fenced IN.
We have heard of an old lady who was
so very particularly neat, that she always
nicely washed her eggs before she brokn
them into the pan TO fry and was always
particularly careful, moreoyer, 10 splt ~
the pan to see if the fat was just exactly
hot enough to fry them. ..a
Mrs. Partiugton says she don't SEQ
what they want with grand jury. She
thinks that a common Jury is grand
enough, as her husband felt so grand when
he was on jury that nobody dared 70
speak to bin for month afterwards.
A humorous fellow being subpGnard
rs witness on trial for assault one O.,
the counsels, who was noloroG. for brow
bcatihg witnesses, asked him what tls-
tancehe was from the parties when no
assault happened; he answered, 'Jusliouy
feet five inches aDG half How came
YOU TO be so vcrv exact, fellow " snd 'he
because | expected some fool
or other would ask me, said he, land SO
| measured H.
A hcnpcckcd husband, residing in
small village in the interior, thus annoup-
ces he departure, from his bed and board,
of lis dearly beloved: My wife. Anna
Maria, has slrayed, or been sIolen.-.--
Whoever, returns her viii, get his heal
broke. A, Tor trusting her, any one con
90 so who sees Gt; for as never pay nv
own teits, II Is not a al likely that | shall
lie awake at nIghI thinking about oiLer
peoples.
Tie Score! Of Rising in the World
ld.euess is like tie nightmare the mo-
mcul you begin 10 sur yourself, you
shake It cG
Dr. Ffanhlin says hat time is money
THIS may account for the fac! that tpersons,
when most IN need OF money, ask )Or
time.
Bare fics fllsehooIs-. .-fbs told by tie
ladies' in the preseu, style Of bonnes.
Every man should attend 10 his own
business, and every woman too.
The Soulhsile Democrat acknowledges
tie receipt of donations for the erec'ionc cF
a monument to immortal ze lady wl'
abs,aiued from conversation for G'e nor
laj minutes. Sue died rom the eGecis.
A California paper gives The following
as bI.l uf fare al some uf he Cblne'r
restaurants 30 TIA, state cat outlet. -
GEMS griGd'eI ri, 25 rents ; dog. soup,
y cents; roast dog, ls GEMS; +; dog PIr'
s cru.e.
4 fellow IN Texas has ls; invented a
strengthening pIas'er, which viii enable.
-. - o. L. - .,.,-lhinr lrom n E,nr