Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1854-03-24
Punches,

Punches.
What the Lady says to her 6onnet.-Bs of with
tn. tasl. Of ai.sanet.-The dinner table of a
rich relation. ~ Isl
raking . Great y.-The signing of the
Magma Charta.
TIE Letter Of tLs Lqe.-The Letter Of the
law must be x. ltexpressss quantity that is
unknown.
Inscription for Surgeons Han-surgeons are
the angels ofthis world-they are constantly Ie-
dressing injuries.
"The Dear Departed" Yenison. gssa.-a :
Where are we most likely to end the key Of tile
Baltic? In DavyJ Locker. ~
@ Raising the !Syi,its--We- notice that Charles
Dickens advettises his "Chllds history Of Eng
table of muscatels and almonds would prove
more acceptable. tEEECa
C0numdrInsfor Me times--When may we con-
slider ourselves 10 be completely under the fem-
pire of the ottoman? When we Tecline on a too
easy sofa and fall asleep under its influence.
Theatrical Anusements.-The Theatre War.
We are enabled to state that the appearance of
Mr. Bull. SO long underlined, will positively take
place in short time. He will appear in the
drama Of the English feet. ff.sssi, ~
Will you help me 10 solve the following mystery?
Why is gambling house called .Hell?', l be-
lieve they mostly use the dice box at such place.
Would it not then. sill put it 10 you as calm,
sober minded man-wonld 1t not, then be much
better to call it pair o-diee.
Yours very truly.
A. GIeeL,R.
Not ,oithoat 1ruth.-An ll.naturedk friend Of
ours defines diamatic criticism in the present day
as consisting OF putting Dir. Charles Kean till he
refuses your play and then saying he isn't so good
an actor as his father.
HBaekgamon. absurd game, which ladies
play with bonnet.
,Seleolnqster Abroad.- following article Of
agreement was drawn up. by pedogogue out in
Plymouth, MARSHALL county. Who will say now
the schoolmaster is not abroadi
An article of agreement, maid and enteredint
by and betwene---of the first part and the en-
ploucres of the secand part of the party,of the
hrsttpart agree to teach com School iinbtasing
the following branches TO wit Reding Fighting C
Arithmetic geogriphy & granner for The tcarme OF
two months at the rate of 800 per month and
bourd withthe emplouetes according TO the signed
and the party of the first is or may be Discharged
al any time the empoueres see I'll and on failoure
of the said party Of the first part 10 Comply With
abouve agreement he forfeits what he has taught
and be Discharged without pay, and the partie of
the second part is TO furnish house wood sufic and
this Esd Day OF December 1928.
Q. When is the weather most like a crockery
shop! a. When IFS muggy. Reader faints.
1t is said that pair of pretty eyes is the best
mirror man can shave by. E,Zacly so; and it is
unquestionabiy the case that many man has been
shaved by them.
Mr.. Amos Brown, an esteemed citizen of our
village, died in commissions yesterday, and a SUBJ
sequent post mortem examination showed conclu.
siyely that his death caused by eating cloves,
| which he had been in the habit Of using as sub
| stitute for tobacco. A verdictv as rendered ac-
cordlngly.-GrenpileA dsoeatc.
Ii is astonishing how .toddy' promotes indie pend
ence. phIlosophic old 'brick,' who was living
| day OF two since, in very spirited manner,
was advised, in a friendly way, TO econcmise, tas
flour was gettingpp.' - ~
Let it go upF said bottle nose, Il kin git as high
as -four kin, any day.
Old Briggs asked us the other day If we could tell
why people almost invariably took journey after
marriage, we replied in the negative, aid applied to
him for information. -
'Because,' said the misanthrope, they seek for
happiness, and feel satisfied that they will not rd
7 ii at home.'' TES4gF q y $50 i
Briggs married when quite young. and his ~ life
put on lis inexpressibles the veryrst week; SO we
concluded not to put TOO much dependence in his
sayings.
Jim, does your mother ever whip ,oui'
though
what is that7' f5
sW by she washes me every morning.
An editor in New Hampshire offers 10 bet his
"head against sixpence'' upon some political
question. brother editor accepts the bet; says
he thinks 1t an even one, and asks who shall hold
| the stakes.