Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-12-14
Y AR.I ETY.

tired Of matrimol5 >ssht- lsrrtkgs..ssSy
advertisement
Fer sale, good husband, warranted sound
and kind in any kind Of harness especially in
the matrimonial He is Of handsome figure
and action, and can trot bis two babies an
hour easily stands TOT the cradle without Ii
ring, never snuHs at the dish cleth. is not a.
fraid Of locomotives not even Of the Ger
mantown Railroad lie Is smart travel
or, and is in every respect coed family
beast The: present owner, being about to
enigrate To California, the above property
must be sold without delay
nrtLadies and Gentlemen, said the lee
turer at picture exhibition, i need not tell
you that this splendid work of art is rep
Pesentatfon of the lions in Daniels den. as
beautifully described in Shakspare's eelebra-
ted play Of Ais Right that terminates to
che satisfaction Of the Parties concerned -
From the position and general appearance Of
the figures here represented you will redi.
" observe that Daniel cafes nothing at all
fer the Hens, and By a more critical exami-
natisn of the picture, you will also Peceiye
that the lions don't care d-n for Daniel 7
H'Does your arm paia you, sir p asked
lady ola gentleman Who seated himself
near her, in mixed assembly, and his arm
across the back oSa chair and touched her
neck.
No, Miss, il don't but why did you ask y
Il noticed it was out Of place, cir, that's
ALL y
The arm was removed.
~A learned clergyman in Maine Was
Z accosted in the following manner by an illit
crate preacher who despised education
'Sir, you have beentoeollege, 1 supposel
yes, sir, was the reply.
Il am thankful, replied the former. that
The Lord has opened my mouth withsat any
Iaarning
place in Balaam's time, but such things are
Of rare occurrence in the present day
Dswx.-Ata party few evenings since
an enthusiastic young gent was empLatieaily
: extSlliug the remarkable beauty Of a certain
lady. aud aulsng other remarks comparing
her check m.ah ripe rosy peach, when be
was interrupted by dlgni6ed judge, who
With long drawn sigh, calculated
sAhlwould we're dozen upon that peach I
aud thereupon joined bis hands, and walked
away abstraetedly
The air was rent with boisterous mirth
much to the discontinue Of the young gal
liant
41-'sambo, I'ss gota cohumdibus 10 pro,
mulgate to you
sPropel, darkey.
sWell den, why am you Ike treeF
sWhy am / like a tTee1' ! give dat up
sThc reasen why you am ike tree, IS be-
eause yeu am e5er grcsg Yah yah yah 7
.Jslius, Use got conumdibus to PROFOUND
10 you
II sExpatiate den, Samboa
well, den, why is su Ike tree
.ERives dat up for sartain.
.Deu. darkey, can demonstrate de fact
De reason you am like tree Is because you
am Iolo cass
.Good.by, darkey / exchanges no more
I salutati6ns wild you.
HH-Two Irishmen we're in prison enc for
stealing cowand the other Tor stealing a
watch
o'clock is il =
Gosh. Pa. I haven'tm my watch handy, but
I think it is about milking time
n1-iI guess Joy mean to bring up that
: erc enc to Be pretty sharp at bargain, said
fellow 10 womaa whs was rocking and
aiming. With all her might, to a little re,
srensibility. why B said she. !. Cause yea
keen bawliug By loi6 baby, BY i0s0 babyi into
bis ears all the time.
u&The question i, often asked, what Is
proper age at which 70 be married Adam
s.of Eve to his bosom before he was = year
= "a. and old Parr married at.the age of one
hundred and twenty; We consider, there
fore, thatanywhere between these two points
nil ansWer
RFScme city poet has worked out the
following elegant specimen Of literature and
OH sally. It's my chief delight
~. To gals upon your eyeses brite--
Ny luv for yoa By gosh eiiPasses
= The lore ielc forum and lassss!
nn-sIs thai clean butter 2 asked grocei
80 how Who had brought quantity 10 mar
~ II should think il ought 10 BE-, repHe'
~. NV. for nara and Sail were more thai
40 kcnrs picking The hairs and notes on
q last night
IRA nan who admires me woman "a
VA Ne more reason 10 wish himself her hus
Nnd, than one who admirers the HesPsrIa'
irnit would have had to wish himself IN
arlEsu' thntkept IL
[EA western editor thus delivers HIN
eel. We ~auld say to the individual VII
.'ols q. NJ e the pole, while We were y
scfsly hope the coay S ~ : ~ = H. fSroat'
MA rash and SONS hss eluded youn
nan, has threatened 10 aPl,x the Mains "a,
q his sweetheart she intofs rates Inn e
PERHAPS the Marriage Law Wsald be mol
- oHoctn1
~ rFho oditress Of the Lanaster Libr
1|QSsolkeSy abe would 4. sooA pestle b.
-. n
NJ -, Sli.kers - Kiss her -.
.If. |1issheIn s.ys that IL = n,
I.IAbis 0.Idre1 - fsssnblo hinse
,unts b iekss sopAlifornia d