The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1854-01-18
From Punch's Pocket Book fol 1853
A Little Lecture Addressed to my Dears.
nY an OLD MAID or rnE WORLD.

BY AN OLD MAID OF THE WORLD.
my dears, love is ike chancery; It is a
deal easier to get into It than to get out
again. There are thousand OF ways for the
Former, but as for the latter, it cant be done
noways.
Take my advice, my dears-never be-
lieve a man before marriage. and never trust
him afterwards.
/" Ii men. my dears, were to pay, ike SER
wants. for every thing they broke, they
wouldn't be 80 fond Of breaking their hearts
for every pretty girl they say. The fortune
Of Rothschild couldn't stand my dears,
against such ruinous amount Of breakages.-
! Why, have known a man heart break as
often as an American bank, and yet he
would open the next day with the same brass
+ plate on his face, on which you could plain
/ y read assurance" and his heart would 20
on issuing the same false notes az before
i Besides, what becomes Of oil thcir broken
hearts, should like to know - Where
do they all 60 to? Along with The old
moons, | suppose; or they may be keeping
company, there's no knowing where, with
all the pins that are lost. each heart being
stuck through with pin, like the curious la
sects 10 a museum.
There's no need to tell you, / am
sure, my dears, about choosing husband.
4 woman's instinct generally guides her in
those little matters But this | will tell you.
that husbands differ as much AZ geese but
the softest mind is not always the worst
The softer your husband, the more pliabe
mill fsrI r~I oil ~
to twist HIM around your little finger If
husbands trusted more to the wives and less
to themselves, there would be more happy
marriages but, until they learn what is due
to our sex, and are fully prepared to pay il,
that happy balance will never exist ina house
hold which, to the husband, should be the
source Of as mush joy as large balance is At his
bankers; but at present the wife is not al
lowed TO have any share or interest in the
one, or to participate III the other
:" / will conclude. my dears, with giving
you few rules with regard to the choice Of
husbands in general and though. my dears.
have never yentured on the stormy seas Of
matrimony myself (here the flir lecturers +
voice slightly tremblel with emotion,) still /
have watched from the haven Of single !
blessedness many Of the squalls aud breczes 4
that have taken place on them, and have Dc. I
rived no small knowledge from the numerous +
shipwreeks. | have witnessed in conscquel O.
of them. and this knowledge am only too
willing 10 impart 70 al those who arc anxious
to embark for the United States.
Il shall couline my observations, my dears,
to tho small circle Of my experience Of men,
such as have studied them round the tea
table.
"If aman wipes his fceton the door-mat
before coming into the room, you may be
sure he will make good domestic husband
"If a man, il shutting the candles, SNUFF
them out, you may be sure lie will make
stupid husband.
"Ifa amau puts his handkerchief on his
knees whilst taking his tea, you may be sure
lie will be prudent husband. .
In the same way. always mistrust the
man who viii not take the last piece Of toast,
Or Sally Lunn, but prefers waiting for the
next warm batch. Il is not unlikely be will
make greedy, selfish husband, with whom
you viii enjoy no brown" Il dinner no
crust at tea, no peace whatever at home
The man, my dears, who wears goloshcs,
md il careful about wrapping himself up wei !.
before ycnturing into the night air, not IN
makes a good invalid husband that
mostly stops at home, anil is easily comior.ed !
with slops.
" The man who watches the kettle and
prevents it boiling over, viii not fail. my
lcars, in his married state. in exercising the
ame care in always keeping the pot boiling. i.
The man who doesn't take tea, ill-treas
lie cat, takes snuff, and sands WITH his back /,
0 the fire, i brute whom would not adj
Use you, my dears. to marry upon any con- ,
either for love or money but most
decidedly not for love.
/" But the man who. when teais over, is !,
to have had none, IS sure 10 make :
lie best husband. Patience like his deserves
,eng rewarded with the best Of wives, and I
he best Of mothers-in-law. My dears when !
-ou meet with such man. do your utmost to \
marry him. In the severest winter he would
lot mind going to bed first"
(IIere the lecturer concluded, and the sew
raj young ladies' retired to their respective =
vocations)