Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-10-31

A CHARITABLE MAN-They have a dread
4ili mean man in Iowa. He gave the mea-
sles to a neighbor, the other day, and has
been CRYING ever since-not because he part
ed with the measles. bat because he had to
give them away. Could he have sold them.
be would have died happy. He is brother
to the old gent who resides at Troy. and who
never has green peas for dinner without re-
membering the poor-he sends the pods to
the Orphan Asylum.
A persen having the misfortune to admit
asa lodcer into his house an individual of bad
reputation named Bell, turned him out the
other day with the remark, "that he would
never keep bell in his house that acanted
hanging"
The recommended of this cure for STAN
mering, saws he can speak with certainty or
its utility "Read aloud with the teeth closed.
This should be practiced for two hours day
for three or four months"
7. Corns may be removed by simply walking
away with them. To make the cure perma-
nent, don't come back yourself,
Miaculous cure-the recovery of bad
debt
Mrs. Hemans has put two things together
with line of poetry, which, in prose, l'ne
(wiGh an anchor to it) it is very necessary to
keep separate, viz
"A-sterpa and rock bound coast"
The man who pledged his word and honor,
has lost the ticket.
Mrs. HoIlyhock was presented with plate
the other day. There were beef and pota-
toes on it. No speeches were made.
/ sShaM 1 help you to alight?" said young
gentleman to q bouncing country girl, who
was about alighting from a carriage
THANK you SIR said she, sweetiy, Il don't
smoke
report from the Land Office shows that
Nebraska covers an area of 342s s438 square
miles, equal to i9,i6e.22O acres of land
4My 4ad.v said sehoolmaster, what is a
member of Congress ?n IA member of Con
gress is a common substantive, agreeing with
;self-interest, and is governed by eight dollars
"a day understood"
@-It is one thing to hire house, and
On ite another to pay the rent.
G9-The man who carried studs in his bo-
som is aksat to open stable.
InI775, the population of the .. S. was
100000 less 6hop the present population o
New York.
They kill alligators at Natal, by putting a
little strychnine into piece of meat. sus
,pended over the water, and just touching 1t
The animal seizes it, and it lasts him tor foo(
the rest of his life.
The reason Why the name OF biubber il
given to two-thirds of a whale, is because 10
nah blubbered foF three days and nights IL
the belly Of one,
One of the amusing incidents of the late
excursion to Rock Island is thus related b.
the Utica Telegraph: A gentleman in th'
wash-room said to the captain OF the boat
I'Can't you give me clean towel, captain! :
1No." said the captain, ''mere than htty pas
sengers have used that towel there, and yol
are the first one that's said word against IT,
Quite Joke happened to one Of the doc
tors tbe other day. he ordered some yer,
powerful medicine for sick boy, and the Ia
ther not liking the appearance OF Il; forced
down the eats throat, and wheR the doctO
called again and inquired If the RewaeR ga
cnredltEe hoy. the father replied, 'sNO, W
didn't Give Il to him" "Good heavens !!
said the doctor, 'is the child liylng! eE
hut the old cat isn't; we gave it to heE y
The doctor sloped.
Try this, somebody who likes to exper.
ment :-s.In every perfectly ripe apple, 1t
observed in an English publication aoou
twenty years ago, sthere will be found on
or two perfectly round seeds, the otners nav
ing one or more 1atted sides. The roun
ones will produce the improved fruit, an
fhe Fat ones the crab