Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1854-06-16
DAILY EVENING STAR,
RAZOR STRAP REpry1ous

RAZOR STRAP REp1vIoUs.
The reporter of the San Frapc;sc
News furnishes that paper with the fol
lowing report of a speech made by Cal
ifornia Auctioneer: "
Ladies and gentlemen, now bav,
the honor of putting up fine pocke
handkerchief; yard wide, ward lonp
and almost a yard thick; one half cotton
and t'other half cotton, too: beautiful,
printed with stars and stripes on on,
side, and the stripes and stars on t'other
1t will wipe dust from the eyes SO com
pletely as 10 be death to demagogues. anc
make politics as bad business as print.
ing papers; its dark color will enable i,
to hide dirt, and never need washing
going at one dollar !-seventy-fve cents
fifty cents twenty five cents a-one
bit? Nobody wants it?-Oh thank
you, sir.
Next gentlemen, for the ladies won't
be permitted to bid on this article, is a
real, simon-pure, tempered, highly pol.
ished, keen-edged Sheffield razor; bran
spankin new; never opened before to sun
light, moonlight, starlight, daylight,
or gas-light; sharp enough to shave law.
yer, or' cut disagreeable acquaintance,
or poor relation, handle Of buck-horn:
with all the rivets but the two at the
ends, of pure gold: Who will give two
dollars! one dollars half dollar 2
Why, yelong-bearded, dirty faced repro.
bates, with not room enough on your
phizzes for Chinese woman to kiss. Pm
oft ring you bargain at half dollar !,
Well, [ will throw in this strap at half
dollar razor and strap-a recent
patent; two rubs upon it will shapen the
city attorney; all for four bits: and piece
Of soap-sweeter than roses: lathers bet.
ter than school-master; and strong
enough to wash out all the stains from a
California politicians countenance, all
for four bits why, you have only to put
this razor-strop and soap under your pill
low at night, to wake up in the morning
clean shaved; won't anybody give two
bits, then, for the lot / knew / would
sell 'em.
Next, ladies and gentlemen, offer
three pair socks, hose, stocking or half
hose, just as you're mind to call them.
Knit by machine made on purpose, out
of cotton wool; the man that buys these
will be enabled to walk till he gets tired:
and, provided his boots are high enough,
needn't have any corns; the legs are as
long as bills against the corporation, and
as thick as the heads of the members of
the Legislature; who wants 'em at one
half dollar !-thank-ee, madam, dollar
Next, | offer you a pair of boots made
for s. - F-onriSrn. with henls
long enough to raise a man up to the
Hoadley grades, and nails to insure
against being carried off by a land slide
legs wide enough to carry two revolyers
and a bowie knife, and the uppers of the
very best horse leather. A man in these
boots can move about as easy as the
State Capital ; who says twenty dollars
All the tax payers ought to buy pair,
to kick the council with: every body
ought to have pair to kick the Lesisla-
ture with-and they will be found of
assistance in kicking the bucket, especi-
ally if scmc body should kick at being
dollars for legs, uppers and
SOiSS w IllC SOulS, dllo lulSCl dUit dl
that, are bringing twenty thousand dol
lars in Sacramento ten dollars ten dol
lars gone at ten dollars
Next is something that you ought to
have, gentlemen lot of good gallowses
sometimes called suspenders. know
that some of you will after while be
furnished at the States expense, hut you
can't tell which one, so buy where they're
cheap; all that deserve hanging are not
witha gallows, if so there would
be no body to make laws, condemn Grim
inals, or hang culprits, until new cleo
ton /; made of pure gum elastic-stretch
like judges conscience-and last as long
as California office holder will steal
buckles of pure iron, and warranted to
hold so tight that no mans wife can rob
him of the breeches are, in short, as
strong, as good, as perfect, as efiectual,
and an bona fdc as the ordinance against
Chinese shops on Dupont street-gone at
twenty-five cents"