Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1854-03-29
lDit au0 Gunor.

fsT-It CHANGED that I sojouruea for 1
while 1t one Of the Pilgrims Rests viii
Which this region abounds. Sitting one o. 7
amidst 'righte pleasannte companie,, ths
salk tarned upon that branch u pb ysiss called
b. the uneplightened 'dcIuinoes.' At last
40 old Sestcr gave 10 his experience
'Ycu'know Jake Ely, boysl
'Ceft'in; and an er'nary feller be was
Him As married George Prevost's dsfter
Aud lived down 90 Jon side u tho creek
lfoke In aocther.
Yes that's the man
Well, did not know bin. and be knew
my ben-roosts--Ae did
Sent to Freehold court house last term
Ter 'busin' bis wife Awful or nary
In fact, Mr. Ely. 10 tho opinion II those
assembled. seemed 10 be little better than
enc Of the wicked
Old Ncstor waited patiently until the frst
burst was over. aud then spake
Yea be Is all that like all tie rest Of
Nasur'. be has bis good p'iu,s. and he has
bis bad pints. Jskey Is Ike therest on US
Good p'iatsl Where's Lis'n I exclaimed
TIVE Or tbrco.
We'll, | II ten ye.'
Did nary ons Of yer ever play dowinoes
with him 2
Never did, was the answer
well bey And ivili say be knows
more OF the natur Of domino Of any man
sver seed
That sympathetic appreciatiye crowd. like
Unsie Toby's recording angel blotted out
Tho memory ofhis misdeeds forever Jakey's
character came out like refined gold, aud the
cause Of popular education triumphed
RJ-Two young ladies were once singing
Duet 10 concert room. A stranger who
bad heard better performances. turned to bis
nsighbor saying:
Does no. The young lady 10 white sing
wretcbedly."
Excuse me, sir" replied he, - hardly
feel at liberty to express my sentiments be-
Ing not impartial in the case. it is my sister"
Il beg your pardon. sir" answered the
stranger in much confusion. Il mean the lady
Ia blue"
You are perfectly RICH. there. replied the
nsighbor, .; have often told Der 50 myself, it
4 my wifel
Es5- The prettiest lining for bonnet is
sweet face.
Blushes are flying colors. which maidens
carry becomingly
lfa man waits patiently while woman is
putting her things on or shopping" be
viii make good husband.
The brides orange blossom often bears bit
ter fruit
Don't reckon too much on the honey moon;
It may prove all moonsbine.
Royal lovers exchange portraits, their sim
plo subjects-hearts
There are wide wastes Of intellect yet un-
inclosed.
EN-Why is gooseberry bush like Gem
stsryf Because it's berry in- ground
Why does person quit business at half
past four? Because be can't leave by fore
(bs fore.)
Why is the Kohl. moor diamond like ha-
rfcotf Because there are q GOOD many ca.
rats in II.
Why is los. article like the fog2 Be.
cause its mist
Why is rheumatism like glutton7 Be-
cause it attacks the joints.
Why does one nan do another Because
ho does.
E0~A young man who declared bis unbe
lief in spiritual manifestations attended cir
Gle, and requested to converse with bis father,
who had short time before left the BODY |
The raps began aud shortly afterwards the
table balanced itself on one leg. and com.
menoed Kicking the sceptic about the ROOM
Hold on stop him ! exclaimed the youth |
I'm satisfed--thats the old man =
sGy-An Old Yankee who had never seen
play was taken to Booths performance of |
Othello; and on being asked at the termi |
patton of the piece if be liked it, he replied
Yes amazingly; but darn me if | don't
guess that little Niger (Othello) did not play
as well as any Of tho white fellows-lf not
better -
EG-A rough Kentuckian hearing child
cry very loudly and fariously, remarked =
"liow wickedly that small sample Of man
Kind Is swearing now, in the infantile yernac-
ular What will it come to when it is edu
Gated p
s1~A young lady was discharged from
ono OF the largest vinegar houses 10 London
She was 50 sweet that the vinegar was kept
from fermenting.
hD a ianSee mas invented q machine
which will churn pound clothes, and pump
water, and when completed will milk the COW.
get tea aad whip the children
Bal" The French are great on contrivances.
They make turtle soup Of old leather, frog
pies OF pork, and the greatest familiarity with
ell your friends particularly your wife.
E@ Pun.h says woman has this great
advantage over man-sbe proves her will in
her lifetime. wbis. man is obliged to wait till
be 10 dead!
ss5- The greatest man is he who chooses
the right and invincible resolution.
GEMS OF TRUTH.
There's something good IN every hearth
Lei The chids first lesson be nhadienaa