The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1854-07-20
is this yer place tavern? he inquir

ed Of the Iops.
"A twayern? horwiblcr exclaimed on,
of the fops holding up both bis hands.
"A twayern, indeed J. said the other
'he must be from the woods, Chawlce,
and both renewed their laughs.
The Hoosier gave them an indignan
look, and was about to reply, when the
clerk, who had observed him, approached
and informed him he was at hotel, and
inquired if he wished to stop.
stop sartin do, was his response,
you don't reckon a feller to cum to sich
a smart tavern as this yer without stop.
PIN do you Kurnel?'
Hardly, sir-alow me to take youl
baggage, and furnish you with room.
Just as your a mind-I'm not partic
lar So | get six feet o bed, and a hull
plate at table. Golly but aint this a
scrouging town.
Quite place, sir. Walk this way, il
you please, and will attend to you, in.
stantly, said the clerk, as he took the
lloosier's bundle.
Nal, now, you're uncommon polite,
stranger but / reckon you make feller
pay forit all in the course Of sarcumstan
ces. But as you're sort human, set
right up to a felIer what's in strange
country, Pm the chap to squar your bill
for fodder to figure, when you fotch it
up. That's my way o doing business,
Kurnell'
4 have doubt Off sir said the clerk,
smiling, and handing him the book for
that purpose, asked him TO register his
name.
DO what? inquired the stranger, some
what astoniShed.
Register your name and residence in
this book SIR
write it down thar p
'Yes, sir.
Cum. now, Kumell, none O. your
tricks, said the HooSier, with sly smile
on his countenance, and after moment
pause.
%, sir it's no trick assure you. We
require this of all visitors, as much for
theirs as our own benefit
you don't tell .
yes, sir, that is fact
'Want to know whether they kin write,
reckon. Wal, that's on the squar.--
When a feller goes away from hum, he
ought to show his edication | not only
larned to write when | was a shaver. but
gotu purity hig in the figures. Ill give
you specimen of my chicography, as old
Squire Smith calls written, in darned short
order and the traveller took the pen and
turned the book in an oblique direction,
and squaring himself to suit, leaned over
the book to write. His oddity attracted
the attention of all in the office including
the two fops, who, amused athis remarks,
gathered about him at the clerk desk
The pen in his hand had touched the
book, when he paused, and, after, reflect
ing moment, he raised his head, and ad-
dressing the clerk, said: -
Kurnell, do you want all of fellers
name 2
I'VE would like to have your full name.
Full name Wall, thats s a puzzler.---
You see, my family name is Hempfeld,
then my christian name is John Isaiah,
that thars John Isaiah Hempfeld, aint
!it?'
Yes, sir ....
Wall, then, the boys down our way,
considerin me right smart chap, kind a
gin me second christenin they call me
HoSs Head .....
This information, so innocently given
caused loud burst of laughter from the
crowd. Hoss Head participated in it, for
he loved laugh, and could be as merry
as the next one.
"A rale smart name, aint it boys? he
asked, after the laughter had ceased
would you put down in the books?'
Certainly, certainly cried ALL
In a few minutes the stranger, after Civ
ing his pen many cirCularmovementS over
the books, and changing his position sew
eral times, succeeded in writing his ad-
dress in full, as follows Mr., John Isaiah
HempGeM, Ho8S Head, PerSimmon Post |
qGice. YeIow county, Mdiaaa,' point
ed TO this specimen Of his 'chickography,
with pride, and seemed wonderfully pleas
ed with the fulSome praise bestowed upon
it by the gentlemen present.
Expressing a desire to get fixed up, the
clerk showed him to the wash-room, when
the two fops, who had cndeayored to en-
joy the Hoosicrs grccnncss, were struck
with an idea, about such an one as gener
ally racks the bcnumbed brains of such
men-if men they can be called-of their
stamp. Anxious to display their smart
ness, and to create amusement at the ex-
pensc of another, the fops seized the por-
ters brushes, and giving the crowd
knowing wink, as much as to say, 'well
make fun for you, approached Hoss
Head.
Shall We bwrush you, sirrah asked
one, cndeavoring to play the servant.
wal, now, by thunder exclaimed
TToss Head, as he dropped the soap from
his hands, and ceased his ablution. i
all 'ayS wor good atguessin, but this beats
all kreation, Look here, Kurnel, '-ad-
dressing the cIerk,--'l no sooner seed
these fellers to night, than guessed right
out that they war sarvants.'
The boisterous laugh which followed,
was to the great chagrin of the fops.