Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1854-10-13


Well. I'll forgive you, if you'll tell,
Why they do meet in so Z!
Say, Mr.. Snob-what do you do -
Why, Mrs. Snob-1 do not know -
From the Detroit Advertiser, Sept 26.
DOesticl8s O Church York.
Seventy Hundred and One, Narrow Street.
Having seen the Operas with detestation, the Thea
tres with appreciation, George Chrisy with cachinna-
ton, and No Dey street with affiliaton having
visited Castle Garden, the Model Artistes and the
American Museum, in fact, knowing something of
almost all the other places of amusement in the CITY,
resolved TO complete and crown my knowledge by
going to Church, and hope may receive due credit
for my pursuit of amusement under difficulties
made known my heroic determination to my
found friends and they instantly resolved to bear
company-BuIl Dogge by way of variety and Dam.
phooI from force of habit-(Bull Dogge seldom goes
to church and Damphool alwdys does) Sunday
morning came, and the aforesaid individuals presen-
ted themselves-B. D. looking pugnacous and pu-
glistc, and Damphool perfectly marvellousin fact,
aesc as this latter named parsonage had ever
borne himself, and importantly huge as he had
appeared-his coat tails were now so wonderfully
short, his collar so envably large and so independ
emily upright and his hat so unusually and magnif-
Gently lofty-that he certainly looked bigger phool
than ever before.
Passing up Broadway through a crowd Of people
of all soIts sizes, colors and compilations country
men running over every third man they met: New
Workers threading their way through apparently I'M
pers or their shirt collars (By the way, have dis
covered that no one but genuine New Yorker born
and bred can cross Broadway upon dignfed walk }
Firemen in red shirts and their coats over their
arms; newsboys with very scanty allowance of
shirt, and no coats at all Dutch emigrants, with
dirty faces, nasy breeches, and long loppy looking
pipes; Irish emigrants, with drtier faces, naslier
beeches, and short, stubbier pipes; sprucelooking
darkies and wenches auayed in rainbow -coored
habiimentswe alast reached the door of the church
Everything looked grandly gingerbready, that
hestated about going in. Little boy in the corner
(barefooted with letter in the post ofice,) told us
to ego in,' and called {" Lemons.' Did not per-
ceive the force of his pomological remark, but Went
IN nevertheless Man in white cravat showed
TO pew; floor covered with carpet and seat COW
upon.
Pretty soon, sic-orlan-sometimes grand and
solemn, but generally fast and lively enough for
contra dance. (B d. said the player got big salary
TO show off the organ, and draw big house) lie
commenced to play Old Hundred, (Damphool sug
gests Ancient Century, At first. majestic as it
should be, but soon his left hand began to get unruy
among the bass notes, then the rig cut up few
monkey shines in the treble left threw in large
assortment of quavers, right led off with grand
flourish and few dozen variations; left struggled
manfully to keep up but gave out, dead heat.
and after that went back 10 first principles, and
hammered away religiously al Old Hundred in spite
of the antics of it's follow; right struck up march,
marched into quick step, qulckened into gallop
left still kept at Old Hundred right put in all sorts
OF fantastic extras, to entce the left from It's sense of
propriety left still unmoved; right pu, in a few
bars OF popular waltz left wavers little right
strikes up favorite polka left evidently yielding;
right dashes into jig left now fairly deserts its
coors and goes over to the enemy, and both COM
menced animated hornppe, leaving poor Old
Hundred to take of itself. AT length, with |
crash, squeak, a rush, roar, rumble and ex-
piring groan. the concluded and service be-
gan
Kept as cool as | could, but could not help looking
round now and then TO The show. Elderly lady on
my right very devout, gilt, edged prayer book gold
gers, and, for all know 6: bells OH her toes An
tlquated gentleman in same slip, well preserved but
somewhat wrnkled, smells of Wall street, gold spec
taces, gold headed cane put three in the plate
Fashionable little girl on the lett-two founceS On
her pantaletts, and diamond ring over her glove.
Young America looking boy, four years old, patent
leather boots, standing collar gloves, cane and cigar
case in his pocket, Foppish young man with adoles-
cent moustache pumps legs la spermaceti candles !
shirt front embroidered la 40 race horse, cravat
la Julien, vest la pumpkin pie, hair la soft soap,
coat tails la bootjack. which when parted discover
ed view of the Crystal Palace by gas light the
rear of his panaloons, wristbands la stove pipe,
hat la wild rishman, cane TO correspond total eff
feet Ia Shanghi.
Artificial young lady. extreme of fashion, can't
cotton, paint and whitewash; slippers la Ellesler
feet la Japanese, dress la Paris, shawl la lev
en- hundred dollars, paraso la mushroom, rnglets
la cOrkscrew la broomstlck, bonnet la Bow
cry gal, (Bulle Dogge says the boy without buttons
on him brought it in teaspoon fifteen minutes after
she entered the house. neck la scrag of mutton,
bosom la barebones. complexion la mother of
pearl. (Damphool says she bought it al Phalon's,
appearance generally humbug tBull Dogge Offers
to bet his hat she don't know cabbage from new
cheese, and can't tell whether srIon steak is beef,
chicken flesh or fish }
At length. with variette upon the organ, the
vice concluded. thought, from the manner of this
last performance each member of the choir imagined
the songs OF praise would get to heaven if he
didn't give them personal boost in the shape of an
extra yell
Lett the church with confused idea that the only
way to attain eternal bliss is to 60 to church every
Sunday, and to give literally to the foreign mssiona
ry cause.
Bull Dogge tried to convince that one half the
people present thought the Fifth runs straight
into Heaven, and that their through tickets are in
sured, their front reserved, and that when they
obliged 10 leave this world they will find coach
and four and two servants in livery ready 10 take
them right through to the other side of Jorden.
Yours, reverentially,
@. r. HILANDER DoEsTICK, P B.
IL al,k tk,E IL.