The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1854-08-24
THE MARRIED MAN.

THE MARRIED MAN.
Hang the women They are always
fretting about something or other? Yes
terday the coal would Mt burn and the
CRATE must be set, and the furnace must
be repaired, and mercy knows what all; ;
and to-day it's as hot as fire. Save us
from the wants of an inconsiderate wo-
man. Only let her wants get the upper
hand and she'll drive like blazes. But |
won't be driven. Not [. If she wants
the door fixed, or wood dried, or water
brought, or the leach set, or the tubs
hooped, she may doit herself Confound
it, | cant 90 into the house but what
something is wanted. If itisn'tOne thing
it is another. I'll leave my boots in the
parlor every night, if have a mind, and
she may help herself. See if | don't
Well see who will be master. Before we
were married it was-"if you please my
dear" But cracky, if her tone hasn't
changed. She shall and shant from
weeks end to weeks end ; if l venture to
put in a work edgewise I'm shut up by
her clatter. Talk about late hours ; |
could stay out once till broad daylight,
and she too if the party was agreeable
But now if chance to attend the club
but once week, there is pretty muss
directly. And don't ever think of her?
Gracious me l wish l could forget her
for five minutes, Just to see how it would
seem. If man says word he is set
down for ninny. He must grin and
bear it if it cuts ever so close. And oys-
ter suppers. Wonder if she don't like
oysters Tell me about the propriety of
sitting down to the table with the hair un
combed. Once she was all curls and
smiles. Now she S slatternly as awasher-
woman. Hang the race They ought
to be indicted for obtaining husbands un.
der false pretences, If they only show
out, the men would'n be such gudgeons,
no But no; they smile and spark and
litter, until fellow is fairly caught, and
then Jupiter if they don't haul down
their colors. And then the baby tend
ing. 1t is worth fortune to hear the
squalling brats night after night; Group
or colo is the eternal complaint. If had
my way Id shake the collie out of them
in a hurry. But no; they must be dosed
with pink and anise, and onions, and the
deuce knows what, and until their gia-
yards are fairly shaken out; and then il
any one is to be kept up, why Slocum can
set up, it won't hurt him. I'm done with
lit! L won't; that's fact What's that
you say? Mended my pants ? and -four
new shirts and neck cloth? Well, |
declare Mrs. Socum is clever after all
If she did mt scold like-but 70 matter
provoke her, ! Il own up--lll-
The remainder was lost in something
like a kiss. Five shirts must have done
it-for Slocum forgot to scold when asked
to tend the baby.
THE MARRIED WOMAN.
Yes, It's 60, 60, go, and get, for every.
body on earth but ones own wife. If
should ask Mr. Slocum to get out at such a
time of day, for pail of water or bas,
ket of oranges, dye think he'd 60 No!
he, not he-I might want, want on and
take oitoutin wanting. Oranges, forsooth,
Twas only yesterday | asked him to call
atWilIiams' for Charley's shoes. Wouldn I
YOU Ike to have heard him scold, though?
If he didn't turn up. Always something
wanting. Wished he could 60 to the
store and back without calling for dozen
articles? And when he came in and put
them on Charleys feet, slapped HIM ior
crying because the pegs hurt him. Poor