Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1854-02-22
Wit ano Gunor.


fsysA Yankee. Boosting of his inve:eratc
hatred of everything british, is living in a
ncighboring city, with colouist family. He
takes every opportunity to have Slap at
brother Bull. aud the colouist does what be
can to defend the veaers5lc gentleman
"You are arguing" said the colonist,
against your ancestors"
mo. I'm not"
who was your father?"
"A Yankee"
WHO were your forefathers?'
yankees"
who were Adam and Eve 2"
yankees, by thunder p
Rfs5~A man who leaps into the matrimo-
NAL malstrom nova days, often marries mo e
than be STIMULATES for in the contract He |
not only weds himsef;o woman, but lab |
oratory Of prepared chalk, quintal of whale |
bone eight coffee bags. four baskets of nov |
els. one poodle dog, and lot Of weak nerves |
that viii keep four servant girls and three
doctors around the house the whole tine
Whether the fun pays for the powder is
matter Of debate.
nsss-lF you wish to ascertain the temper
Of young lady look at her nails and the tips
OF her gloves. If they are jagged and much
bitten, you may be sure she is peevish, irrit.
able, quarrelsome aud too ready to show her
teeth at The least provocation. This is an
infslliblc test that every i'll tempered young
lady carries at ber fiagers end DO not at
tempt to kiss such young lady under the
mistleioo.
be- cry plain young lady, Now, my
dear-a hem-how is it that you look so del
ieate and fairy-kc when for the life Of me
can'tl' Delicate young lady; well. Anna
Maria. after great deal Of experimenting,
have found out that eating slate pencils, and
drinking vinegar, combined with tight lacing,
sitting up late at night, and several other
things. have made me airy like. as you say g"
gs.y'0a a certain occasions farmer and his
son were moving 10 Geld, when the farmer
had occasion to reprove the latter for his Ia.
illness The sons excuse was 'that his scythe
didn't lang right"
Hang it to suit yourself then, +" exclaimed
the father pettishly.
Whereupon the son hung his scythe upon
the limb OF II tree aud departed
Dy~They were rather hard on the Salem
witches in old times Among the court re.
cords in that ancient town there is preserved
an order from the sheriff to his trputy. i'm
which the latter is commanded to take one of
the poor witches and hing her 10y the neck
tin she be dead and buried!" And the
deputy subjoins his testimony that be has cx-
ecut9d the order.
EsES- IN old topper was overheard the other
day advising young man to get married.
'h,causa thea, my boy, you will have some =
b'dy to pull of your boo.s when you 20 home
drunk
tEsS~ Thin shoes-an article worn in winter
by high spirited young ladies'. wi o would ratli
er die than conceal the beauty OF their feet.
SsS~ The mln OF 'unbounded ambition. u
has consulted an engineer, with view Of hav.
iag it surveyed aud prapc rly fenced in.
py- Movements in the Religious Circle
a congregation starting when the eontribu
ton box approaches.
s1~Thn man that was arel with indic
nation was put out by snow slide FROM ID,
roof Of an Office
rrS@Thc man who tried TO get up Joke
found it very hard Ginning Tore lis =
ables.
Pa For Accurate Views Of Modem Greco
Look Into a tallow chandler establishment
Iss-rhc report that a sehoolmnster ehas
tisei boy with railroad switch is doubted
B@y-rho man who re traced the past.
supposed to have been a harness maker.
rzy-The fellow who "seized an opportuni
~, came near sprainiag his wrist,
aSJ~one Of the Uncertainties Of Life
The circulation " newspapers.
r2ysThe fellew who beat the Dutch. b.
got new club.
B1~ Disagreeabie Eztraet-Extraet Of
double tooth.
Hsg-Certain Cure for the GOut-An Gun,
Of arsenic.
pI-Thc Flour oucstiOu-wbat's ii
price.