Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1854-02-03
"A Practleal Joke.

ao4z44z-s41s srse.zs A Practical Joke.
AT Long Wharf, Boston, the fishing smacks throw
their sh into pits, with sides perfectly water ;oht
and rising to the decks. while the bottom, which is
tb par OF he bottom OF the vessel. is perforated
with holes couple of Irishmen who wanted work
supPosng those pits 10 be sunken vessels asked the
privilege OF pumping them out
Inc TWO tars aboard, who were first class iokers
PerSevlng the mistake OF the Hbernians, replied yes
and asked their price for pumping the smack drv
A bargain was struck for dollar and half a numn
was procured, and at work the two men went one
pumping while the other bailed with bucket.
An hour passed on and still they worked, occa
slonally wondering how deep tae hole was, and how
much water remained still in the vessel The two
sailors, In the meantime had gone up the wharf "a
they said, on business. The captain, who was alb
sent at the time the bargain was made, came on
board, and finding the still hard at work. with
the perspration pouring off of their faces, inquired
what they were about. Pumping out the ship
captain Yes SIR an mighty dape p one ' she 's is
ntirely," said one of the perspring Emeralders, as
ne painted away at the pump handle Sure, I'm
thinkin it III be night before we get her dhry -
Night" said the captain, beginning to roar with
laughter as he discovered the joke that had been
peTPetrated during his absence, " Night why you will
not get through till you have pumped out Boston
Harbor" He then explained the matter TO the la
| borers, who resumed their coats, vowng vengeance
! upon the sailors who had "desaUed' them.
A WINTER OF DISASTER War on the Danube
cholera in England CONGREGATIONS at hOme-wrecks
on the sea-haVe given to the present winter pre-
emnence among disastrous seasons. We cannot re-
member period crowded with catastr ophe as the
last two months. A brutal power has brought the
horrors of hopeless upon inofensive nation
"a war from which every principle of chvalry and
every sentiment of magnanimty excluded In
one hour, fleet was destroyed, five thousand men
were murdered. and town annhlated and
Europe, like coward, stood by and saw it done
saw the Tom Hyer of Russia going to crush the fee
BILE little bow of Constantinople--and did not hold
J the monster back. Cholera has admonished England,
and starvation France. Fire, which is generally no
respecter OF houses has, this season, chosen best
things for swift consumpton--our greatest business
establishment, the largest ship that lay at
docks, the finest hall in the country the newest and
therefore the most magnificent of our hotels.
On the ocean, the disasters have not only been
numerous, but of singuarly terrible character
Ships crowded with men, women, and children, have
gone down with their living freight. Let
tribute these calamites TO the will ola wrathful Pro.
violence. Providence is beniicent always To the
careessness, the folly, the crime of man, the
blame of nearly every item in this catalogue of ruin
belongs. This. perhaps, could be proved, and the
blame brought home the door of each guilty in
divdua, and the rest of mankind warned, if in add
lion to our death-coroner, had fire coroner,
wreck coroner, pestilencecoroner, catastrophe
coroner general That such an exent the destruc.
ton OF large amount of property by fire should be
as it is unwise.--Home Journal
, 81 SHOULD TO MARRY, IF | COULD ONLY FIND!'
, We should think that there were numbers whc
would join in the above song, from fact just reveal
ed by advertising columns A young lady, or
. Sunday last, published herself in want of " better
half" and advised all interested in her money and
affections to address Eva,' at this office. The adj
vertiser stated that she young widow lady was
twenty two years of age, had membranes what
3 ever, and was the possessor of hard cash to tn
f amount of $4,000 She wanted TO form matrimo
NAL connections with gentleman who demand
ed to be five feet ten inches in height over, be
tween the age of twenty live and thirty, of an anna
4 BILE disposition industrious habits, and of respeca
BILE family. Money object with the advertiser
i Up to Monday night-the limits of the time fixed TO
: sending in applications for the young widow lady
# over two hundred communications had been hand
J. ed in for " Eva" Who will say, after this, tina
e spinsters and young ladies the lookout for chan
J., ces outnumber bachelors and others in search of
+ wife," But in the of g Eva the question if
e are the two hundred applicants tempted to pay vis
e to the HymeniaI altar for the sake of the "youn
r widow for the $4,000, without membranes
Oh gold! gold we fear you enticing tina
:: Evas" charms. Should she have turn-up nose
red hair, and mouth from ear TO ear, we fear tina
any of the two hundred applicants for forty thous
W and dollars, would see Helen's beauty in a brow
IS Egypt" and swear
e Come what sorrow can,
~ 1t cannot countervail the exchange of joy
~ That one short minute gives me in her sight,.
1t is said that such affairs this tricks
fortune ellers and others, who wish to have aug
g at the expense of the gullable Madame Fortune
! teller g who is the seventh daughter of some sew
enth daughter, and born with the natural gift &c
&c by such an advertisement Evas," learns th
e affairs and private matters of two hundred ''wea
=" minded young men," the very class upon whom sh
. depends for the success of her profession. Havn
~ excited these with the hopes of fortune, she ca
/ safely count upon the visits of of them: an
d then she is prepared to show the mystery of her
:; to the perfect asonishment of the green ones !
IS however, Eva - is really in search of nice youn
H. man, she will no doubt be able TO select out
Re the two hundred neatly enveloped, highly scente
~ letters. Success to the "young widow" and goo
Oh investment for her forty thousand dollars-N.
. Herald.
81
to The Pert Young Man.
l. in Aho 10 Of BIZ