davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

A Coon DEFINITION social party
one evening the question was put, "What
is religion:'' "Religion," replied one Of
The party, "religIon is Oh insurance against
fire in the next world, for which honesty is
The best policy.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

MISS SIMMONS CURTAIN LECTURE
Miss Simmons, an old maid, down on ,he
men, because she never caught one, INDUCES
in the following lecture, for the benefit of
an imaginary Simmons
'.Smmons, you're drunk. You know
you are. Here I've been sitting up in bed
most all night, waiting for you. Only half
pas, eleven. hey? Who+,old you so?-
Your watch is gone. don't believe it was
stolen. You don't either! Then what
made you tell me SO? You didn't! Oh,
Simmons, wha. kind of a conscience have
you got? You've been off loaing about
those liquor saloons, know you have. |
won't take any excuse You had ought
to be ashamed Of yourself. | don's believe
you have got any shame in you. Yoh
wish I'd shut my mouth, co you. Well
won'i, until Pm done. You'll have to
hear me /! You 60 off every night, and
leave me all alone, TO take care Of myself.
Suppose somebody should come and fright
en- me to death, and then Gerry offever,hing
we've got? Wouldn't get much if they
did Whose fault is it, Simmons!? All
your own. If you had been steady man
we might have been rich by this IIme.-
You wish somebody would frighten me to
death! Oh, you ugly wicked man. I'll
60 away and leave you, and never coma
back again as long as live. You wish ]
would! ! shan, 60 though, so you needn't
feel glad. I'll stay with you as long as
live. What would you come 10, if should
60 away? You bother the life out of me,
keeping me up SO late, waiting for YOU
You didn't ask me TO set up! On, Sim
mons, wha, an ungrateful man you are
Here am, trying to keep 20 straight, and
You wish Tde let you GO to Sleep
Well, I'm sleepy myself, SO won't say
any more until tomorrow night. You are
glad OF it! You don't care for anything
Y on havn'! go, any pity in yon, and some
day I'Il---''
Miss Simmons wouldn't hold up against
Morpheus any longer, and she fell asleep,
TO dream sbou; the iugrasi,ude Of the men.
Phil Sunday Mercury.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

tells the following story OF an American sea
captain /:
"On his last voyage home the captain
had on board young lady of remarkable
pers onsl attraclion-a phrase | use as one
being entirely new, and one you never NEE.
with in the newspapers. This young lady
was beloved intensely by five young gentle
men, passengers, and in turn she was in
love with them ell very arden,ly, but with
out any particular preference. for either
Not knowing how 10 make up her deter
mination in this dilemma she consulted my
friend the captain. The captain being q
man Of an original turn of mind, says 10 the
Young lady: Jump overheard and marry
the man ,ha, jumps after you. The young
lady, struck with the idea, and being natural
ly fond Of bathing, especially in warm wea-
lher, as it the was, took the advice OF the
the captain, who had a boa. ready manned
in case of accident. Accordingly, next
morning the five lovers being on deck, and
looking very devou,ly q. the young lady,
she plunged into the sea head foremost
Four of the lovers Immediately jumped in
after her. When the young lady and her
four lovers were got out again, she says TO
the captain, sWhat am to do with them
now, they ere so wet ," Says The Captain
"Tske the dry one ~ And the young lady
did, and married him."
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

HONEST LABoR.-Labor, honest labor, is
right and beautiful Activity is the ruling
element Of life, and its highest relish. Lux
uries and conquests are the resul. of labor
we can imagine nothing without it. The
nobest man of earth is he who puts his
hands cheerfully and proudly to honest
labor. Labor is a business and ordinance of
God. Suspend labor, and where is the glory
and pomp Of ear,h-lhe frui, fields and pal
aces and fashionings of matter for which
men strive and war! Let the labor scoffer
look around him, look at himself, and learn
what are the trophies of toll. From the
crown Of his head to the sole of his foot,
unless he is Carib, made as the beast, he
is the debtor end slave Of Toll. The labor
which he scorns has tracked him into the
stature and appearance of man. Where gets
he his garments and equipage? Let labor
answer. Labor makes music in the mine,
and the furrow, and at the forge.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY,
BY e. WELLS,
EDITOR AND PR o RIET o r.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

Fo one year, paid within six months, $l.5o
{" &c ifnot paid within six months, 200.
ADvERTIsEMENTs.-Sl per square for two lnser-
tlons-l2 lines of small type Id of large type
constituting square-and 25 cents for every sub
sequent Insertion. If the number of insertions be
not marked on the advertisement it will be pub
lished until forbid, and charged accordingly A
liberal deduction will be made to those who ad-
vertise by the year.
Communications addressed to this Office must be
POST PAID.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

GoD SEEN IN ALL HIS WoRKs.-In that
beautiful part of Germany which borders
on the Rhine, there is noble castle, which
as you travel on the western banks of the
river, you may see lifting its ancient tow
ers on the opposite side above the grove Of
| trees about old as itself.
About forty years ago ,h here lived in that
castle noble gentleman, whom we shall
call Bsron-. The baron had only
one son, who was not only a comfort TO
his father, but blessing 10 all who lived
on his fathers land.
i happened on a certain occasion that
this young man being from home, there
came French gentleman to see the baron
As soon as this gentleman came into
the castle, he began To talk Of his Heav-
enly Father in terms that chilled the old
mans blood : on which the baron reproved
hins, saving, "Are you not afraid of Of
Tending God, who reigns above, by speaking
IN such a manner - The gentleman
said he knew nothing about God, for
he had never seen him. The baron did
not notice at this time wha, The gentleman
said, but the next morning took him a5ou.
his castle grounds, and took occasion first
- show him a very beautiful picture that
Tg upon the wall. The gentleman sd-
ed the picture very much, and said,
I"T hoover drew This picture knows very
we'll how TO use his pencil"
my son drew that ricture," said the
baron.
"Then your son is very clever man."
replied the gentleman.
The baron went with his visitor into
the garden, and showed him many beau
tifu flowers and plantations of forest
trees.
Who has the ordering of this garden :"
asked The gentleman.
MY son." replied the baron, che knows
every plant, may say, from the cedar OF
Lebanon to the hyssop on The wall"
"lndeed," said the gentleman, | shall
lhink very highly Of him soon"
The baron then took him into the village
and showed him small, neat collage,
where his son had established school, and
wEere he caused oil young children who
had lost their parents TO be received and
nonrished at his own expense. The chill
drsn in The house looked SO innocent and
- es s-z-=ir=.----.---s -s5--~--'---------
much pleased, and when he returned 10 the
castle, he said TO the baron, "What happy
man you are to have SO good sono'
"How do you know | have so good
son 20
"Because have seen his works, end !
know that he must be good and clever,
if he has done all sha. you have showed
men
"Bu, you have never seen him."
"No, bu. know him very well, because
Judge of him by his works"
True" replied the baron, "and this is
the way judge of the character of our
Heavenly father. know from his works,
that He is being of infinite wisdom, and
power, and goodness"
The Frenchman fel. the force of the re-
proof, and was careful no. to offend The
good baron any more by his remarks.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

JUST so !-"Anneue, my dear, what
country is opposite to Us on the 6 lobe %
"Don't know sir.o
"Well, now," continued the perplexed
tea cher, "if ] were TO bore a hole through
the earth, and you were 10 60 in al this end,
where would you come out :"
sou, of the hole, sir, replied the pupil,
with an air of triumph al having solved the
great question.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

PROSPERITY has often the same effect on
. Christian, that calm sea has on a Dutch
mariner-who frequently, j! is said, under
such circumstances, lies up the rudder, gets
drunk, and goes 10 sleep.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

Bunsby says the reason why the ladies
wear such small bonnels, is just idea the
ladies have of making nature and ar. cor
respond; having nothing inside Of their
heads, they put as near to nothing as pos
sible on the outside The brute
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

Our MODERN LADIES who follow the
fashions must certainly have easy consci-
ences, since ,hey constantly make an TO-
pen breast Of it. Low-neck style of dam
sells will please feel funny where the laugh
comes in.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

What is the difference between deser-
ter and hog-pen Ans.-One fees from
headquarters, and the other is the headquar-
lers, Of Aeas.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

How "SHE"AN "HE" GOES TO Bed
There is as much difference between the
manner in which a man re,res to the
couch, and q woman, as between q
Virginia rail-fence and a one-hrose al
%sTd piece 81 b1slksss bAkss 81 PRR long
formal, everlasting fourmie "exercise."-
One of our exchanges thus makes out the
two pictures. Will the reader try them
both son" and see how they like them:
''Going to bed we have always consider
ed one Of the most sober, serious and SOL
emn operations " which man can be engag-
ed 10 during the whole ,wen.y-four hours.
With young lady i, is altogether differ
ent thing. When bed time arrives, she
trips up stairs with candle in her hand,
and-f she has had pleasant company du-
ring the evening with some agreeable ideas
in her head. The candle on the toilet, and
her Iuxuriant hair is speedily emancipated
from the thraldom Of combs and pins. If
she usually wears :wa,er cuIls,' or uses the
irons her hair is brushed carefully from her
forehead, and the whole mass compactly
secured: if not, why then her lovely tres
ses are soon hid in innumerable bits of pa
per. This task accomplished, a nigh,-cap
appears, edged, may be, with plain muslin,
or may be, with heavy lace, which hides all,
save her own sweet coun,enace. AS soon
as she ties the string, probably she takes
peep in her glass, and half smiles and half
bushes at wha. she sees. The light is out
her fair delicate form gently presses the
couch-and like dear innocent, lovely
creature, as she is, falls gently into sleep,
with sweeter face"
Four stories OF cream-cakes, how nice
How the dear must feel.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

Ladies, who have disposition to pun
ish their husbands, should bear it in mind
,hs, a little warm sunshine will melt an
icice much quicker than regular north
caster.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

81 have NOT loved lightly" as the man
said when he married widow weighing
300 pounds.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

He who knows the world will not be too
bashlul, and he who knows himself will
Il yer be impudent
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

A BEAUTIFUL SENTlMENT.-The late
eminen, Judge Sir Allen Park, once said al
public meeting in London
"We live in the midst of blessings, till
we are utterly insersble of their greatness,
and of the sources from whence they flow.
We speak Of our civilization, our arts, our
freedom, our laws, and forge. entirety how
large share Of all is due 10 christianity
Blot Christianity out Of the pages of mans
history, and whs. would his laws have
been-wha, his civilization Christianity
is mixed up with our very being and ou1
daily life. There is not familiar object a.
round US, which does not wear a different
aspect, because the light of Christian hope
is on it-not law which does hot owe it
truth and genlleness to Christiani.y-not I
custom which canno, be traced, in all its ho
ly, beautiful parts, to the Gospel"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

A TURKISH VILLA testator left to his
eldest son one half of bis horses, second
son one third of his horses, TO his third
son one-nn,h of his horses-the testator
had seventeen horses. The executor did not
know what to do, as seventeen will not di-
vid by two, by three, nor by nine. Der
wish came up on horseback and the executor
consulted him. The Dervish said, stake my
horse and add it 10 the Others" There
were then eighteen horses. The executor
then gave TO The third eldest con one-half,
9; to The second son one-third 6; to the
third son one-ninth, 9; total, II. The
Dervish then said You don't want my
horse now | will take him back again."
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

GONG TO LEAvE.-An honest German
who is employed a, one of the tobacco man.
ufac,oriss in this city, was listening yesler-
day to an account from brother workman
of the principles and doctrines Of fMillerism.
Among other things, he was told that the
world was expected 10 come to an end IN
two or three months. Remarklng that the
German was much interested in the matter.
The others undertook TO victimize their lis
,eners by suggesting to him that j! was full
time for him 10 be making preparation.
even do think it will come to an end %
he asked.
"Oh, probably, in about three months
answered The jokers.
"Ho! well, no care for dat !" exclaimed
Hsnse, with smile of satisfaction, ~ bf
going to Pu0azo dis Spring. ."-Detroll
Tribune
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

Western Justice of the Peace ordered
witness to "come up and be sworn" lie
was informed tha. the man was deal and
dumb. 81 dom. care" said the judge pas
siona,ely, "whe.her he is or no'-here Is
the Constitution Of the United States before
me. 1t guarantees to every man the light
of speech and so long as have the hon
or Of sea. on This bench, it shall not be
violated or invaded. What the constitution
guarantees to man he shall have, ] reck-
on,D
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1854-06-15

Miss Simmons wouldn't hold up against
Morpheus any longer, and she fell asleep,
TO dream abou, the ingra,i'ude Of the men.
Phil Sunday Mercury.
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
When knowledge Is HappIu esS, ills eul-
pnGlc 10 ba ixtstnut.
NOTICE

rs HEREBY given to the non resident!
IL owners of lands in section two, town two
south, IN rangesix east, and sections thirty.
six and twenty-five, town one south, range
six east, all in Putnam county, Ohio, that
by the order OF the Commissioners of said
county, al their March session, John H. Ell.
we'll, Samuel Gander, and Samuel Ilarman,
viewers, and Samuel Parker, surveyor, will
meet at the house of Andrew Hay dea, in
Sugarcrcck township, Putnam Co., on the
9th day of May, 1854, or within five da,'
thereafter, and proceed to locate the follow
ing county road, commencing at the south
end of a certain lane, commonly known as
the Hayden lane. about twenty rods east
Of Daniel Schlosser's house,i the south part
Of section one. Town Two southj range six
east, thence nOrlhwardly to the center of
said section, thence north or the half section
lines of the above named sections, until it
intcrsccts the county road leading from the
FindIay and Fort Wavne road to the Kalida
and Columbus Grove Free Pike.
April I, 1854. ro,,r..,oy S79
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
NorICE.

IS hereby given, that the annual meeting
of The Stockholders Of the Toledo and
Indianapolis Railroad Company, for tho
aIec,ion Of Directors and Transaction o.
other business, will be bol len al Delphos
IN Wednesday, tho 2Sth day OF June
nexl, al 2 o'clock P. M.
Subscribers, before they can parties
pate in this meeting, must be holders Of
certificates, with ten per cent. endorsed
thereon.
The following named persons urs au-
rhol'zed to receive money and issue Gel
li6cates:
GEORGE LASKY, Gilead.
GEO. SKINNER, Kalda.
II. ]. BOEHMER, Fl. Jennings
R, X. LYLE, Dc!phos.
DAVIS GUY, ShanesviIle.
C.B. PHILLIPS,
Sec'y & Treasurer.
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
Union Township Farmers, Club.
May 9Th, 1854.

es May 9TH, 1904.
The Union Township Farmers Club
met.
HIRAM SARBER President, and N. II,
McCRAcKEN SecretNry.
George Skinner Librarian reported the
receipt, by the hand Of Hon. James Mac
kenzie, Of nine Vols. Of the Ohio Cuitl'
yator, neatly bound, as present from
M. B. Bliehum 10 the Club. &,s i~fE
Also, the receipt, as present, OF six
teen back numbers Of the Coun,ryGentle'
man, current Vol, published by Luther
Tucker, Albany, New York.
Also, ono copy Of the Seventh Annual
Report Of the Ohio State Board of Ag'i-
culture, presented to the Club by Hon,
James Mackenzie. ta'a'
On motion Of ]. D. Roberts, Esq,
The following resolutions were una
nimously adopted by ,ho Clubs ,s.
Reselped, Thatihe thanks Of the Club
be tendered 10 M. D Ba,cham, Esq, ol
Columbus, for tie back volumes of the
Ohio Cul,ivator presented by him 10 the
Cub. a al1
Resolred, That The thanks of the Club
be rendered to Luther Tucker, ESQ,
editor of ,he Country Gentleman, for the
handsome prcsen, made TO the Club by
him. gs0lEB BtIr .a' 'l
Further Resolpcd, That we will lndivi.
dually and collectively recommend lho
Ohio Cultivaior, of Columbus, Oaio, and
the Country Gentleman, ofAlbany, N Y,
to our frend as being eminen!ly worthy
Of more genera circulation. ''ae7s
On motion, 1t is ordered that the Lii"
brarian subscribe for the Ohio Culliva'or
for The current yoar, for the use of the
Club. .gTfl .gEtH
= The Club adjourned TO meet agsin, il
Kalida, op the first Saturday IN June, a
one o'clock, P M. Hs'e
HIRAM SARBER, Pres't.
N. II. McCRAcKEN, Sec'y.
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
i ADMINISTRATORS SALE OF
taa .,g REAL ESTATE.

On the 22I day of April, A. D 1854, a,
one O'Clock IN the afternoon Of that day, at
the door Of the court house in the town of
Kalida, in Putnam county o., will be sold
to the highest bidder. the following real es.
tate. as the property of Stephen White, de.
ceased, to wit: The north west quarter Of
the north west fractional quarter OF section
seven, town one south, range five east, in
Putnam county, Ohio; containing forty -eight
and four hunuredths acres OF land more OF
lcss, subject to the dover Of the widow
Appraised at three hundred and thirty six
TERMS OF SALE.-One- third cash, in. hand,
one third in nine months, and the residue in
eighteen months, with interest from day oI
sale. Deferred payments to be secured by
mortgage on the, premises gaga lw
5s eni PHILLIP ANDERSON, lae
DAVID CARY, A amr's.7 4
s lbyA. BUDD, their Atty.
March Is, 1854. H.. so.,l. G75
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
Hollopay,'s Ointment and Pills, hare eu' ed

Holloways's Ointment and Pills, hare eu' ed
an liberated Leg, and Prerentea .4nputation
The wife of Mr.. P. Baylis, Of Q, Court, Z
House, Cheapsidc. Birmingham, suffered for
moro than eight years. from dreadfully ul-
eetated limb, during great portion Of that
time, she was under medical treatment al
Birmingham, where she was frequently told
that ampntation must ultimately take placs,
a. it was impossible to heal the wounds-
However; under the advice Of her friends
ahe tried Holloway's ointment and Pills
which have effected a perfect cure, and she
strongly recommends others similarly affict.
ed. to use them, after this proof Of their ef.
ficacy in ono of the worst cases. al aG-aGlE
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
NOTICE
NOTICE

rs hereby given to the nonresident owners
IL of lands in sections 10, II, l2, J3, IA aud
Is, in township No. one south, range SIX
east,and sections Z, 8, IL and lS in town one
south, range seven east, II in Putnam coun-
", Ohio that by orderof the Commi ssion.
ers Of said county, at their March session,
George C'evengcr, j H. Vail and J. D. Rob
erls, viewers. and Samuel Parker, surveyor,
will! meet at the house of Adam Ridenger,
IN Union township, said county. on the Oath
day OF april next, or within five days tn re-
after,for the purpose Of viewing and locating
a county road, commencing where the sec
ton line crosses the Pendleton and Kalida
Free Turnpike, between sections 10 and S.
thence running east on said section line be-
tween sections 10 and Is, II and ID, I2 and
l3, 7and lS, 8 and II, to intersect the Clan.
Gerry Road. GEORGE SKINNER, y
March %, '54. Principal Petitioner. &
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
NOTICE

VFNO THE Honorabet the Comm ssfoners Of
IL Putnam county, Ohio, greeting: We,
the Undersigned, petitioners OF said ceun-
ty, ask you to appoint viewers, to view and
survey, and establish county road COM
renclne at Blanchard River, at the middle
line of The north east quarter Of section ten,
running north through said quarter section,
between Henry Troyer andGhristian Shauks'
lands, to the north line of said quar.er sec
lion, and thence through the south east quar-
ter of section number three, between lands
belonging to John Smith and Reuben Nd
dams, terminating at the State road running
from Ottowa to Defiance.
REUBEN ADDAMS,
@ ,l..f HENRY TROYER,
May 8, '54-6s2* Principal Petitioners
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
EXAMINATION OF TEACHERS.

Alta meeting of the Board of School
Examiners, of Putnam county, held al
Kalida Ohio, on the 25h ult., the follow
ing meetings were appointed for the ex-
animation of Teachers, al the times aud
places following, TO wit:
Saturday, May 20;h, a: Kalida. s
4" jane 3d, at Leipsic.
July ls', at Columbus Grove.
=" Angus, 5Ih, a: Jennings.
Z" Sept. Cd, a, Vanghnsville.
:" October 7lh, Al Kalida.
Teachers mud others who take an in-
terest in the cause Of education, are in
vited to attend -
II. J. BOEFIMEK,
S. P. WEAVER, Ha
A. BUDD, 4E.e
School Examiners.
April 6, 1854. CTS
The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1854-05-12
PARTITION NOTICE

mo ,Mancuca J. Williams, Sarah Ann
Il Williams, Almira Williams, Jane May
and James May her husband. You will take
nstico that petition has been filed against
you in,the Court Of Common Pleas Of Pu.-
nam county, and is now pending, wherein
Zilpha Williams demands partition of the
following real estate, to wit:--The north
east quarter Of the north wesl quarter Of sec,
ton 90, and the east half Of the south west
quarter of section "A, all in town Q north, Of
range seven east, and that at the June term
of said court, A. D. 1854, application will be
made for an order to assign dover to said
Jane May, and make partition Of said prem
ises as prayed for. ,a.,s., II f3I
.!sq I'M ZILPHA3 WILLIAMS, basi
per M. c. WHITLEY, Airy. IS
April s5. 1854. a&4a3 $50