Columbia gazette., 1854-08-26
N I S CO J. Z a N Y.
6 Save My Shirt Collar"
A RICH STORY.

The Spirit Of the Times has some
correspondents, SO it has; humorous fe.'
lows, who write for the fun Of it, and tt
excite fun in others. And they succeed
too, and with the aid OF the tallest o!
editors, the real Porter, make the Spir-
1t the greatest paper published.
One Of them tells the adventures o.
a bashful lover as follows:
Ills name was Damphule +; we used ia
call him Jackass for short. Heaven
help ME il he should see this story;
hope he does not get the Spirit.
Among many Of his misfortunes, 70,
he was cock eyed, red haired and KNOCK
kneed, he numbered that iuconvenien
one of b; STIFFNESS; never theless. he wa.
fond Of the ladies, although wien in
their presence, he never opened hi.
mouth if he could help it, and when he
did speak, he used both hands to help
him in fact he was man of"grea,
aci,ns."
Jack, one warm day, fell in love he
b d just graz ulted at college, and be-
gan to think he must seek the ladies
society he was getting to be man and
it was manly 10 have penchant.
So Jack fell in love with the sweet
es., liveli. st, aud honiedish girl in the
square but how to tell his love !; there
was the rub! He had heard a good deal
Of the Language Of the eyes," and he
accordingly tried that, but when he
looked particularly hard at the window
where Miss Emily was in the habit Of
sitting, some person on the other side Of
the street would inva' iably bow to him
thinking he was endeavoring TO catch
their eyes. He has despisea expressive
eyes ever since.
At length Jack obtained an introduc-
ton through his sister, and with her he
called several times, but was obliged t.
leave the city for season, and as eacl,
interview only increased his ardor, he
determined ON going it alone.
Long before the hour fixed upon by
custom for an evening visit, he found
himself arrayed in his best. Blue coat,
metal buttons, black cashmere pants,
isaid pants being little tighter than
the skin, and spotless vest.
The journals Of the day state, az an
item Of Intelligence, that the thermome
ter ranged from Is to 80 degrees. Jack
swears it was over hundred
As the hours gradually drew near,
Jack found courage and perspiration
oozing out together and he almost de-
.ermined to pull of and stay at hon e
he concluded, however, he would take a
walk past the house aud sec how be
felt.
BY the time he reached the mansion
he firmly determined not to go in, bu,
on casting his eyes towards the parlor
windowsand perceiving no signs Of lif',
he thought it was probable that no one
was at home, and since he had proceed
cd so far, he would proceed ia, Their and
leave his card.
No sooner determine l t'.sn con :lad
e In a reckless moment ne pulled
the bell; the darned thing needn't make
such cussed noise.
The door was opened as il by magic
and the servant girl politely asked him
in Miss Emily was alone in the parlor,
and would be delighted to see him.
Lord here was fix! Go in dark
parlor with pretty girl alone. It was
too late to retreat the girl had closed
the front door and was pointing into the
parIor where Miss Emily was.
Being perfectly convinced that nc
choice was left him in dark room he
walked, or sided.
/, All Was perfect chaos to his eyes, fol