Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-06-17
3TB010T3,

70 know what love is the strongest--a
wifa's or a mothers" We answer
mothers. for she grieves forever, while
wife "hangs on for only a month or two.
When Mrs. Dash lost Dash, she was so
taken down" by the "awful occurrence
that she wished the "mountaings" would
open their mouths and "swaller" her up
chambermads, brooms and all. Eight
weeks after we found her at Iayiors
seeking consolation III plate OF Ice cream
and q maroon colored vest.
We have some smart girls in the Buckey
State. Here is one Of them. A conduc-
tor on the road from Cincinnati TO Hamil-
ton saw a nice little girl in the cars, which
he supposed came under the rate oil han
Drice for children, and returned her hall
the amount rendered, with remark 10
tina, effect.
Half fare ha ha! Why do you take
me for a girl ,
Certainly, Miss, unless your looks de-
ceye me very much.
.Well, then, they do, | am married. ana
that amt ALL have got baby SIX mon'hs
Old.
81 say, Sambo, where does Squire pe'
ters live !'' asked traveller of boy who
sat prining and balancing himself on
rail.
Turn up dat street, den pass dat pond,
den turn to de right, den to dc lett, den
strike Off de ole farm side of Mann Sheds
house, and keep goin' on where you see
Phillis in de fold-and you cant help
missin' IT,"
.Mr. Jones, it must give you a great
deal of trouble to be setting that watch OF
yours so often
Not at ali, Mr.. Brown, the greatest
trouble is, the darned thing won't stay
SET
A PRomslNG YoUTH.-"Sammy, run
to the store and get some sugar"
Excuse me ma | am somewhat in
disposed this morning Send father aud
tell him 10 bring me paper of tobacco
along"
An author of love story, in describing
his heroine, says-"Innocence dwells IN
the rich cluster of her dark hair" A wag-
gish editor suggests that fine tooth comb
would bring il out.
An Irish gentleman lately fought duel
with his intimate friend because he jocose-
Ily asserted that he was born without
shirt on his back.
A traveller asked Bob Tipple if he had
never been round the Horn. "No sir"
replied Bob. never goes round the
horn, | amt ashamed 10 take it, no matter
who's by.
A SMART FoREMAN.-The Greencaste
Democrat says the following note, verbat-
i'm ct literatim, was sent TO the presiding
Judge Of court in that County
to the Honorable cOrt
Sir you juris canter Gree-fourman.
Old Downs says he knew girl way
down East who was so jealous hearted
that she discarded her lover,a sea captain,
because in speaking of one Of his voyages,
he said he hugged The shore"
Wash she pretty queer one--ihe young
lady that gave this toast. 'The young
men Of America: Their arms our sup
port: our arms their reward. Fall in
men--fall in.'
lyon put two persons in the same bed
room, one Of whom has the tOothachc and
the other is in love, you will find tina. the
: person who has the toolhache will 90 10
sleep first.
: doctor, that rats bane Of yourn is
hrst-rale," said Yankee to a village a
pothecary. "Knowed it! knowed iL'
said the pleased vender Of drugs. Don't
keep nothing but frst-rale doctors stuff"
"And, DOCTOR" said the joker, cody, Il
want to buy another pound of ye." "An-.
other pound :" al gin that pound, bought
the other day 10 a nibbing mouse, and |
= am sure another pound would kill him !"
At a recent marriage, the fair bride was
, the daughter OF sea Captain. The old
r salt, participated in the ceremony by Civ
1 ing way the bride, and then addressing the
I bridegroom.
! There youngsler take her, you arc
= welcome to the bull, spars and blocks, bni
= damn me if you musn's find sail and rig
: glng.'
In the lastcen'ury there resided inRhode
Island man whose parents had bestowed
OF him the brief name Of 'Through-much.
: Tribulation- -we-enier-into-ihe kIngdOn-Of-
; Heaven CioPp. For shoriness, he was
: called 'Tnbby.'
The woman who never brushes her