Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1854-09-08
Summer Travel.


Summer Travel.
Big box, little box, bandbox and
bundle, carpet-bags, hat-boxes,
canes, umbrellas, telescopes and the
baby. Mr.. Podger, lady, daughter
and nurse Mr.. Charles Podger,
servant and dogs. Mr.. p, the
banker of the party, the axis around
which it revolves, wants dreadfully
to stay at home and enjoy his cozy
" study" where he smokes of an
afternoon, and goes to sleep with a
red bandana over his eyes he knows
that Saratoga is dusty and hot that
Newport is humbug, that Cape
May is crowded, and that comfort
is taboed at all he sees a month or
two of examining, sweltering, mus
quitoe-biting, is not TO be compared
with decent hours and cool nights
at home he knows that the water
in his we'll is unsurpassed in purity,
and that his ice-house is full what
can they want of nasty Congress
spring stuff, or warm brine His
peaches and apricots will all be in
fine bearing this season the babe
IS too young to go travelling ; be-
sides, New York Central" is
down, and the +" Life and Credit
pays no dividend this half year he
sits down upon the end of a trunk
and vows he'll be hanged before he
stIrs a peg. Mrs. p. weeps Miss
p. pouts, and Mr.. Charles p. kicks
the cat; Mr.. p. relents, and, after
taking a final look at his ox-hearts,
and a last drink from the well, he
dons his linen overcoat, and pre-
pares for martyrdom.
Then come two or three days,
chiefly memorable as having been
spent in clouds of dust and smoke,
and for the ill temper of Mr.. p. with
whom everything had gone wrong.
The party has lost trunk some
body has stuck the pater familias
with counterfeit ten the baby
has issued proposals for a set of
teeth nurse has heen left at way
station, where she got out to obtain !
milk somebody has sheared one of
Mr.. Charles dogs which renders
hlm-Charles, not the dog-sav-
age there is no doubt that all /
hands heartily wish themselves back
again, enjoying the quiet of a COM
Portable home, if they only dare
so. But no one does, except Mr..
p; he curses awfully; our army in
Flanders was n convention of Lot
gospellers compared to him, and
the "major excommunication"could
not hold a candle to the terrible
anathemas he envokes upon rail-
ways, steamboats,, hotels, and the
fashion of summer travelling This
frame of mind continues until the
watering place is reached, when
Mr.. p. instantly orders revivers of
various stimulating ingredients, and
Mr.. Charles having sufficiently adj
mired his mustache, cultivated as
siduously for the last two months,
accoutres himself in a full suit of
linen, with indescrlbable checks,
and sits upon the balcony with a
cobbler and cigar. The ladies
get out their most astonishing ward
robe, and relaxation for the season
has commenced.
Balls, suppers, champagne, drives,
rides in the woods, excursions to
dangerous places, in company with
bean, flirtations by the
light of the moon, a romantic at
vows of eternal devotion,
stealthy meetings with the gentle
man " from the South arrange
ments for an elopement, primrose
colored notes, discovery, despair,
and Miss Z. is suddenly iudisposed
and confined to her room.
Billiards, cobblers, cigars cigars,
cobblers, billiards cobblerS, bill
iards, cigars, make up Mr. Charles
relaxation, with episode of search
after the gentlemen from the
South" who has escaped to parts
unknown.
Finally, Mr.. p. discusses the mat
Ter with the partner of his bosom, ,
and, that angelic parsonage agree
ing with him in the maln-points of ,
his theory, as TO the stupidity of
the whole thing, they agree to go i
home and the daughter, with a
broken heart, which, in a lutte time
will heal by the first intention, and
the son with broken pocket, the
result of the billiards, and damaged ,
stomach, the result of the rest of his ,
relaxation, agree that they will go /
home. So they leave the scenes of ,
their felicity, and go back to the >
shade of the home roof tree, sadder,
but not wiser, Mr.. p. swearing by
all the gods in the mythology, and ,
the martyrs in Fox's book thereof, ,
that he never will be caught in a ,
scrape again. But he will.-Buf-
Mo Democrat