The Cedar County advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1856, 1854-05-27
ENDS AND ODDITIES.


e. flat,er no man, and permit no man TO
fatter you.
90. Beautiful misunderstanding young
girl out of mud puddle.
60 The lady who col ored' with indignation
says il IS far better than roage or yernillion.
E1r The fellow who sbearded the lion in bis
den,' says it improved the animal very much.
"Mr. Swipes, I have Just kicked your Will
ia IN out Of doors" Well, Mr.. Swingle, it is
the first Bill you've footed this many day."
ELord Byron gives this account Of par
ty with Sheridan il was frat silent, then talky,
then argumentative, then dspatatous, then I'M
Int Zig BILE, thea inarticniateiy, then drunk.
| cTA man very mach Intoxicated was sent
to prison. why didn't You bal. him out p
said bystander. Bail him out ? exciaime the
other, you couldn't pump him out *
| ET Excuses are the pickpockets of time. 49,
The sun does not wait for his no, water, or his
boots, but gets up al oace.
| a. Take the hand of the friendess. Smile
on the sad and detected. Sympathse with those
in trouble Strive every where to difuse around
YOU sunshine and 10y. If you do this you will
be sure TO be loved
| aTOne of our exchanges tells of lazy
genius UP his way, who being asked as he lay
summing himself on the grass, what ~as the
height Of his ambition, replied, "To MARRY \
RICH WIDOW THAT'S GOT couGHw
| Julius, what's latitudinarian?
| "A latty tudy, what?'
| "A atitudeuarian.'
"A iatyterdemarium, Mr.. Snow, is man that
aseertans the circumference Of the hemasfere
and brings the axultree of the globe oppersit
to the hub OBJ de universe.
fv A South west Missouri Editor, growing
enthusiastic with the inspiring influences Of
him." and lets himself off thus: .fa F.
"Sweet Spring is here and our forests and
plains are covered with verdure, and the birds
sing Of seed time and harvest Sweet nin
stres the earth grows brighter and more beau
tiful with their caroliugs. In the language Of
distinguished Yankee, Let them 90 it while
they're young"
Father, see man laying drunk down a,
the market house. s~,.
You shoald'n. say laying, my son hens lay
'But 've seen men lay, too
'Oh, 10, my son.
Eyes, bh I've seen men LAY BRICKS
Go and spill. your kindiing--I can't talk to
you now
REiSC PARTicULAR amusing incident
took place at the st. Charles Hotel, where Mr..
Fillmore is stopping. A waiter came to the
Office with large bundle of clothes, from the
laundry, marked "p. Fillmore" and asked the
clerk what room he should take them to. The
clerk read the name and scratched his head, try
ing to think If any such person was stopping at
the house. "P Fillmore, p Fillmore! Who
the duce is p Fllmore2" The waiter replied,
81 know the name is right, for asked particu-
lar what the gentleman's first name was, and
they told me President, and | wrote it right
down, P. Fillmore" There was some laugh
ing in those parts about that time.--IN. O. Pr
cayune.
ks1 Has the Man who was taken by
surprise come back
THE HEIGHT OF IScoNvESIEScE.-l
There IS man, somewhere in America,
who Is so tall, that he is obliged 10 run
up ladder every time he brushes his
hair.
gE There is q landlord in Boston
who is in the habit Of placing all extra
fork beside the plate of such boarders as
have not paid promptly, being an in,iH1a-
ton to fork over.
THE HUMAN R.eE.-"Ginger9"
"Sah -
when am da, great race to cum off
dat dar is so much talk about 2
What great raeef | habent heard
Oh any great race
De human race, de great human
race. ia, is - cum off alore long"
you, yah, YAH you be de biggest
fool cher saw-de human race--,Aa,
amt noss-raee, i, be de people III the
world. de mia hitants.
IVY 10 told YOU SO r.
Il alters snowd il, and You are de
dumbcst niger ebef saw. wish dat
every body had larnin, 20 dat dey would 1T
bother spectacle nlggers with such fool
isn questions
CrRIous cHisEsE DEFINITIONS FNaS.
The Inqulsl,tye Man thrlsts his head
INTO a b-.-h Ive.
Tie Cont.nted Man cuts his own
har.
Tie Extravagant Man keeps his coal
IN volcano.
The Hasty Man drinks his tea with
fork.
The Reckless Man is like a dog IN
sausage shop.
Tie Passionate Man picks his teeth
with the all OF a dragon.
Ei4 4 San Francisco paper thus de-
sfIIbes the scenes oi day