Muscatine journal. [volume] (Bloomington, Iowa) 1849-185?, 1854-01-20
HUMOROUS.

Humorous.
-Punch says that "thc present fashion of wear
ing bonnets on the small of the back is sbomnable and
altogether too bare faced for modest women."
jack Frsst fell in love with fower, and be
siid "wlt tho1?" aud it wilted. The f,wer girl
said to the ladies "coma buy" and they went by.
a medal return upon writ was recently made
by the deputy sheriff in Morgan county, Indiana. 1t
was-"sarved the within, but was ft with brickbats
~ the women 20 that couldn't sarye it,
Always preceie o lady in going up stairs. This
maxim is a legacy from maiden aunt.-Lym, Eetcs.
Justso, and ought to be- otherwise it would be
q kg-I-see of the lady followed.
STEAMBOAT POETRY.
Amid the crowd there walked youth
Whose heart seemed charged with woe:
His eyes were bent upon the deck,
His step was sad and slow;
1t was not unIequited love,
Nor disappointmont's fruits,
That marked with care the check Ct youth
He couldn't find has boots!
Before the days Of the teeto!ars, neighbor of
Bisbee sew that gen!lemsn at an early hour of the
day crawling slowly homswari on his hands and
knees over tn, frozen ground. "Why don't you get
up, Dir. Bsbee7 Why don't you get up and walk p
said his neighbor. ~ w.w-w-would, BIB b-but, it's
so almighty thin hers, that I'm a-aa-afraid shall
break through!'
Some of tie papers arc wondering what gives
the public such morbid taste for exlbtions of mon
srous people, such the who weigh, 700 fb,,
and is 60 fat that her shadow makes grease spot
every time the sun thires on herr and the bearded
lady; and poor sick man who lies constantly in
lethargc sleep, &c. This morbid curiosity is "natur."
Every enc has read, or ought to have rad, Of the
overture made by ragged urchin in consideration of
some refreshment which he ardenty desired "Bill,"
said he, "n you'll give bite Of that ere apple
I'll show you my S.'e toe 90
SPIRITUAL MANIFESTATIONS During trip
the Mississippi the sutjsct of conversation turned
upon the spiritual rappings," in which proselyte
to the new faith remarked that the spirits Of the
blessed were allowed to roam through many worlds in
the land of bliss "for instance said he, "Andrew
jackson Davis tells us that he has been in Eve differ
eut stages in heaven" His little boy an apt lad,
locking up in the disciples face, said "Pa, did he
range horses at every stage 2"
-WiIlies father is a Clergyman and "tenp,ratc
in all thiDg,j" so Willie had never seen chew
the "vile wecd' until he about three years old
when Mn holding bis little son by his dimplsd
hand, stood in the street fer moment, to speak to
aequaintanc Willie was all eyes, as be could not
compre eni the conversation and seeing the heavily
bearded individual occasionally put pinch of 'fne
cut" in his mouth was considerable puzzed ard IS
tonished. At last he could stand it longer, "Pa"
sid he anxiou,y, does that chei0 hair, to
make it grow out over his face ~
IT
brought up at the supper table, was getting "taked
over, when the lady WHO presided "o'er the cups and
t,a" said "shs always formed idea Of person at
Arst sight; and that idea she found was generally
correct one" fa
"Mamma," said her youngest son, in shrill voice,
that attrs ,tei the attention Of al present.
\ swell, my dear, What do you want2"
~ want to know" faid young America, "what
you thought ,phen yo,s first saW me-"
There was no answer to this query but We learn
general twtter prevailed, and that "Charlie' was
taken into the kitchen Immediately by the servant.
lForest City Democrat.
The following il an extract from the recent
address Of barrister 'down east" to jury: The
law expressly declares, gentlemen, in tie beauti-
tiful language Of Shakespeare, where doubt exists
of the guilt Of the prisoner it il your duty to fetch
him in innocent. you keep this fact in Wow, In
the case Of my client, gentlemen, you will have the
honor of making friend Of him, and all his relations
and you can alters look upon this occasion and r ct,
with pleasure, that you have done a. you would be
done by. Bat if, on the other hand, you disregard
the principle of the law at nsught my eloquent
remarks and fetch him in guilty. the silent twitches
of conscience will follow you every fair corn6eld
reckon, and my injured and down-uodden client
will be apt to light you of these dark nights,
o my cat tigAts on sGsse.fnH Of mik
"a Dry PuxP.--An cid mai }, in 6owa Eastern
village, called in hsr inquisitiye way upon young
and very pretty lady great favorite in the town, who
las she had "wormed sut" Of somebody with whom
she had been tatthng) was about to be married to
worthy youtg gentleman, livirg in the same place
She began her questioning adrci,ly:
"I beard somebody is going to get married-Who
d you guess tits now 7"
II tint know, an ,ure."
&C. aid yon su IS now; am you thirk If some
. ~ tna,'s goisg 10 s.. magred?"
II u IS not"
~ II, now, su,an. s'pos n aryboiy as 70 ask NE
Z yau ran's epxeg~d, and vas gen' 70 % m,rrsd |
s'fre l,pg wh-t ND Say O. 'en?'
Tell, EN-" sad Si an, "taa. you don't know
.ay hs~ ~ ~ y our T. and that il is of your
,i sness.n
liza ..bus ness pump ns'' was over fos that
Isy--in that quar'sr at least