Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1854-05-17
From the Forest Garland.
HAVING A CRACK AT 'EM;
DR., the Storming of an Arkansas Court
BIZ FA1ooNBRlDeE.
House.

L. -..a- r By FALooNBRlDGE, tt.9F.f .F'g
The State of Arkansas is mot exactly
what it used to was; civilization, school
masters, olporteurs, and common sense,
have quite changed the general aspect of
affairs, political, legal, agricultural and
, domestic. And hence, the never ending
Arkansas stories of the g ancient regime
become the more vivid, more thrilling or
more ludicrous. contrastcd with the pre-
sent order ofthings iu that part of Uncle
Sans farm. aa5a1 5soa
Some years ago, in one of the newly
laid out counties of Arkansas, quite an
intestinal war broke out among the peo-
pie relative to court house. saOGe party
would have the court house here and
another party there. The one side per-
sisted that the court house should be 10.
Gated here and built so; the other side
persisted in building a court house thus
and there, and no way or how else. The
democratic or dominant party went to
work, made clearing, and up went a
spacious log edifice in which justice should
hold hercourt, and the legal affairs of the
new and not overly populous county, be
dispensed according to the statutes, Black
stone, LitLleton and Coke, etc. The
court being ready to begin business, the
Judge proceeded to organize juries and
grand iuries, and swear them and the Of
'icers of the court Upon reaching the
court house. the judge found a very con-
siderable gathering of people; he felt
proud to have such grand opening, and
feeling his oats, and knowing all Wild
Cat county had their eyes stretched to
that suspicious epoch, with the weight
of his official robes, aud the. dignity of
the State of Arkansas resting upon his
broad shoulders. he determined that nei.
thcr the glory Of the one should be tar
niShed, nor the ponderosity of the other
shrank FROM Hitching his horse to the
rack, in rear of the court house, the
Judge took off his mittens and saluted
the crowd that had assembled around
him.
"Well gentlemen. "ahe began, when a
coarse voice interrupted his honor with
Look here, old hoss, none ofyour pa
laver now
Sir" the judge responds in some
amazement.
E" Yes, stree. old hoss fly, you amt
comm none of your big licks over this
crowd, "'says another.
"Why, gentlemen stammers the
Judge, "what does all this mean?"
'TMean Why it means judge, you
can't come no such load of poles over
US, we'll you can't"
But |, gcntIemon-"
Gentlemen be-, you'll find us
men. round YER" yelled out one of the
crowd now hemming in the bewildered
lawyer.
Well" continued the Judge that is
really without precedent Lam astonish-
ed" .. -.
"And yell be more astonished yet,
Judge. if you open a court in these dig
gins"
1T can't be did, old hoss!" cries ano-
ther.
Now. the Judge was a whole team him
self, when aroused; he had lived too long
in the woods to be frightened at ground
hogs or garter snakes; his courtesy and
good humor was threadbare, he was
growing red about the gills, his hair
bristled upon his capacious head, and it
was on hand.
{" Look here said the Judge " I've
come here to open court ;.if the court is
ready, I'm ready for the court. if there's
any cases on the docket I'll try them if
there's any nigger-steaIers, horse thieves
or counterfciters, or d - rascals of
any description, I'II put them through a
course of sprouts, or my names not Judge
Buzzard, of Wild Cat county, State Of
Ark ansas."
Hurrah hurrab !" bawls the crowd.
"Three cheers for the ole hoss, he's a
raisi ng steam.'
And" continues the Judge. 81 will
further state for your general and several
good, and respective i9formation-''
" Colt bobtai !" cries one.
Silence, darn ye." echoes another.
/" If1any man attempts to show con-
tempt for my court I'll clap the screws
on him quicker than lightning; if any fel
/ low with malice aforethought, dares TO
molest me, I'll throw down the dignity of
| my official station and waffle the skunk
until his ornery hide won't hold corn
shucks.' ..-4
"Put 'em through, Judge ]"
{" Go it! Give Sem goss i' '~
'" Three cheers for Judge; hurrah
whooP o.oppw s ri
And. the Judge started for the court
house door. his saddle-bags on his arm,
the air resounding with full yell and
chorus of the crowd There were the
Jurors, the lawyers, the cases, the de.
PENDANTS, the plaintiffs, witnesses. sheriff
AMI officials, and persons necessarily con.
nected with temple of justice. It wa.
4 very evident, however, that a row wa,
brewing; it was in vain that the crier eri.