The Cedar County advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1856, 1854-06-17

ENDS AND ODDITIES.


HAMLEr's ADVICE To LanIks.-'pat your
not for the neck
| @ The Judge who suspended his opinion,
no doubt is in favor Of capital punishment.
RT"T would advise you to put your head
into dye tub, it's rather red,' said joker to
sandy haired girl. 81 would advise you to
put yours INTO n ovea, it's rather Soft said
Nancy.
An English jury, in criminal case, is said
to have brought in the following verdict ssGuil-
y, some little doubt as to wether he is the
man."
little girl baing sent 10 the store TO purchase
some dye stuff, and forgetting the article, said
to the clerk, John. what do folks i've with Pr
"Whv, cholera, sometimes" replied JOHN
swell, believe that's the name. | want to gel
three cents WORTH
did you mean to settle This bill at all. sir,
when you made it, said the debtor in ia ssion-
ate Manner
'Hnmph! keep cool. mr. good frierd.' SAID
the debtor, paiIs cigar WITH most adnlra-
BILE sang froid.
'Yon want n sattleaen!%'
so he sure do, s.r'
We'll, my dear s.r, I Assure vpn | m ,an' t.
settle, and when I vESg io scttlc, that wa. clea>
ly SETTLEMENT! Coo morning, ms lrien4
III see YOU in the falie
Sammy, my sou, hos many weeks belong 10
the year?'
Forty six, sir
why, Sammy, how 10 yoa make that 1ut T:
'The other SIX are Lent
Mother, pat this by TO bed. He's getting
too forward
II any man, from Maine to Georgia, says fhe
Richmond Advertiser, will, on the first trial.
say-sIx SLIM SLICK sApLISGS-slthoat ma
king blunder, and speak fast as he goes over
he words, he shall have the Crockett almanac
sent him for six yeaSs.
Patrick, you fool. what makes you steal af-
Ter that rabbit when Your gun has no lock OH it,
Hush, my darling, the rabbit don't know
that
An inc ,rlig,bie wag who lent a minister
horse, which ran away and threw his clerical
rider, thought he should have some credit for
his aid III srntADtsG THE GosPEL.
That was sharp boy who asked his father
what kind Of wood the board of health was
made Of.
1t is said that the editor of the Massachusetts,
Life Boat" is delighted 10 learn that the Car
refuses to treat - The next steamer he h opes
vail bring the news Of his joining the temper
anee society.
One Of the prettest prayers we ever heard
vas that Vi little girl not quite three years
I'D:
80, Lord bless our dear papa and my ssee,
ma, and our man JOIN, and oar horse Billy, AMI
katie's bright star Venus, and all the beautiful
lowers. Amen"
\ jour printer ran off from Louisville
asf week His name j. BaRFrELD He took
,tf il his ~ one MoRg sleeping partner''
han a gentleman friend Of ms conid spare
The injured husband is after him with and
sharp stick" and says if he catches him
He'll see -. We hope he will for what does
mere type setter know about pszss WORK.
A CHARACTERISTIC REpLy--When the sub
'cript.on aper. TO ralse money for the purchase
of the slave Buns, was handel to Theodore
Parker, In the request mat ne would pit his
lame Il wn for a few dollars, he replied .--s.
have nothing to subscribe but brains and hul-
ets -
BsBY sHow.-A BABY show came of At By
own. Canada, the 81, as follows: The
prizes paid were 500 to each Of the three lar
seat, faitest, and handsonest babies in TIE town
II March. There were bal two babies presen
ei. one l6 and the other II months cid each
Of whie9 received prize. After appro-
pria'e speeches by the judges, one of the lucky
netlefs made the announcement. that .tshe
should have another baby 10 show al the same
tine and place next year. If here was premt-
I'm - BE- slsen,' v r,eh caused rounds OF APP
piaase.