Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-09-21
VARIETY
EF'Wha ]. Jour age, MIs; I inquiFsd :

=
gallant marshall Of young lady about sixty,
In the --district the other day. u
whats that to you, Mr. ImpertinenseF
said the fair one, drawing up and exhibiting
o formidable cheyauxde frize Of broken
teeth.
IL Is q very unpleasant question, tut i
must be asked. What age shall place you
att twenty, should think
YEA said the old girl completely molli-
fed, i think was twenty last spring and
the eratifed dansel invited our friend 10
take glass Of vine and call again before be
left town.
RArurn Coon. Last week, as two ladies
were walkiag~ together in Brooklyn, New
York, discussing the numerous little moth,
inanesses which constitute the chief business
offemals life, she whose rosy cheeks gave
indications Of robust health, suddenly gras-
ped her companion by the arm, excaimiRg-
- DO you sec that gentleman in q drab over.
coat, crossing the street.
Certainly, whpt Of himf'
: That's the doctor who attended me when
IWasdyingr
a hearty peal Of laughter was the reply,
WAR WAS Youa FATaER7-When 0rme
presided in the export warehouse Of Madras,
Mr.. Dayidsoa, who acted under him, was one
morning At breakfast asked by Mr.: 0rne Of
what profession his father was He replied
that be was sadler.
And pray said Orne, Why did be net
make yoata sadler y
i was always whimsical, said Mr. David
sop, and rather ~hoso to try my fortune, as
you have done, IN the East India CompaDy's
service. But pray, sir continued heir what
profession was ysuf fatherP
NY father, answered the historian, rather
sharply, was gentleman.
and Why retorted Davidson, with great
sinplicity, did not he breed You up q gen.
tlenAn y
nfQuito joke happened to one Of the
doctors tho other day He ordered some
very powerful medicine for sick boy, and
the father, nol liking the appearance of III
forced IL down the cats throat, and when the
doctor called again and inquired if the pow
der had cured the boy, the father replied MOI
ne didn't give il TO him.
GOOD heavens 7 said the doctor, is the
child living +
Yes, but thesOld cat isn't, We gave it to
herP
The doctor sloped
es-Do you believe in predestination =
said the Captain Of Mississippi steamer to
clergyman who happened to DO travelling
with him.
1Of course do
And you also believe thatrAzt is to be,
will beP
Certainly
why y
Because, Tiutend to pass that boat ahead,
ii fifteen minutes, if there be any virtue in
pine knots and loaded safely valves. So
don't be alarmed, for il the boiler amt to
burst, then il won't
Hero the deyine began putting on his lat
and looked very much like backing cut
: which the captain observing, hcsaid.
4. thought you said you believed in pre-
destination, and that what is to be, will be
80 I do, but prefer being little nearer
the stern when il takes place
HFA late noble statesman, morefamous
for bis viz than his love Of music, being as.
ked Why he did not subscribe 10 the ancie NJ
concerts, and u being urged as reason for
Il that bis brother, the bishop Of W., d. -
oh, replied his Iordship, III I was as deaf
q my brother, / would subscribe too
Ha0h, Charles, dear, they tell me you
are ordered Of to the Theatre Of War.
beg Of you, therefore, dear, as you love me, to
bear 10 mind one thing-and that is, above
allFnot to forget to take your opera glass with
you, for know myself how extremsly in.
convenient Il Is to 60 to the theatre without
one
TAt theladiss, celebration At Barre, in
Eneland. nine hundred ladies were present
One Of them let of the following toast:
odd bachelors-may they lie on bed ol
nettles, sit alone on I wooden trencher, and
De their oWn kitchen-maid.'
n-A young gentleman was one day sr-
ranging music fer young lady to whom he
Was paying his addresses. pray, Miss D.,
saia Ne, what time do you prefer 2 Oh
1he replied, carefully, any time will do
Int the quicker The better.
nz-.T feel said an old lady, that I've
got about through With this world. Ishan't
enjoy much moro trouble, nor suffer much
more comfort
4 Sioa ~ RAia--To see dry goods men
sticking cheap umbrellas out Of doors, aud
Mesnsy scachmsn buttoniDg up their over
ofoP Hu .-slfiss, can have the exqnis.
- pleasure Of rolling the wheel Of csnrsrsu.
q ton around the axlsires 81 vour pder,s.nd.
i s.:. iss INMATES this s'sniags" The lady
~ Come here sonny, and zen u. vA.t
he four seasons are,
s Pepper, mustard, salt and vine,,,
tksu's What mother seasons vith'
WDid zen sFsr ses me with more than
] could carry
ne, but I've seen you when / thought you
had better Rone tUise for your load.
EFHo e rich Who receives more than
hs 1plh5s; he, on the contrary, Is poor, who
spends more tlan be rcssivsA