The weekly Placer herald., 1854-09-09

! time nor have lever since seen it beaten
| hut by the composition referred to. sScis-
sors and pins = as Miss Sally Horn at
ways says, how is it you have never given
US the conundrum Phin Thomas made
on futile, in one of his late able speeches
up on the Divide? 'By-the bye,' says
Phil, stopping short, and giving that
knowing leer -s when can our old friend
futile be considered his own prisoner
Why, when he is confined in his bowels,
to he sure sWell, then,' says Ander
son, (and he is always ready to help a
lame dog over the style,) let him take
box of Brandreth's pills, for they were
not made for gentlemen, only for Working
people. cannot vouch for the accuracy
of this, but SO the story goes down here.
Why won't HI, of the Saw Mill,
make good carpenter ? Because he
hates to Japan at so cents JOB If, as
they say, the merit Of conundrum lies
n its absurdity, will give yon another
Why is confectoner like druggist ?
Because he sells pies-and things, pi'sond
things.
i will conclude with another good yarn
on tautology. Old Lord Elenborongh,
the Chef Justice Of England, was man
of commanding capacity, profound at
tainments and great integrity, but he was
proud, reserved and punct.ious to II fault.
As IA Judge, he seemed to have but two
ideas-the majesty OF the law, and the
dignity of the court. Under his pres'-
dence you may imagine what solemn
funeral aspect an a-size would have, for
he regarded the least approach TO jocular-
ity as treason to the country, and wou d
| believe, have punished it with death,
had he had the power. Sitting once at
Liverpool, where Manchester case Of
importance wa- trying, it happened that
OsweIl Oulewell Wood, the barrster of
The town, was the principal wtness.-
After being sworn, the Judge addressed
him, saying 'Pray, Mr.. Wood, how do
you spell your name ? Knowing the
judges pecuIlarities, but without amy de-
sign, he replied with becoming solernnity:
80 double double !, O double t e
double u double |, double u double o d.
Bless my soul !" says Peterborough,
tartly enough, sthat's IL most extraor,linn-
ry name may trouble you to spell it
again ? Certainly, my lord ) and net
tied at the judges manner, for justly
enough he did not hold himself response
BILE for the name his worthy god fathers
or god mothers gave him, he did repeat it,
but this time as fast as he could utter the
words. In an agony Of despair, the Judge
saw at once the inpossihility of writing
down such name, though repeated
hundred times, and threw down the pen,
to silence the general laugh going round,
which even his presence could not prevent;
then addressing Wood, with q brow as
black as IA thunder cloud, he exclaimed,
sir, it is highly indecorous to come into
court with such Il name-l have not the
least doubt that man with such name
will some day be hung, and that he will
richly deserve his fate. MIR. Attorney,
you can proceed with the evidence Alas!
poor old EIpnborough, he had lived one
day too long to see the majesty of the
law, and the dignity of the court, in his
presence, associated with laugh. What
was the scru.h Of worlds, and the wreck
of NATTER that the poet speaks of, to
such an event' In that leveling moment,
bitter as it was, | doubt not his vigor-
Gus mind sped through the pregnant fu-
ture dawning at that moment, when even
thrones and monarchs shou d be crushed
at the feet Of indignant muItitudes, in their
struggles to destroy sman's inhumanity to
man. aud those vast aud civil distinctions
which extreme wealth and poverty had
created
Well, sir, there are many people at the
present day who hate laugh AS much as
the Judge. But the motive is different.
His was great and lofty pride-theirs
false and lit pridc-a mock refinement