Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1854-08-16
THE UNCLAD MAN,

ol lHe paINCuOTtSt men IN the world, when
his vile was alive he used to dress as
common as field hand, and didn't use to
take PAINS with himself at all. Everybody
knows how he spruced up about six weeks
alter Mrs. Nipples died, and how he went
to church regularly every Sunday, but
people did not have much confidence in his
religion, and used 10 say he went to church
to show his new SUIT OF mourning and to
loo, at the gals,
With such ocharoctcr among the win.
min, it amt to be supposed that he stood
any chance Of getting another Mrs. Nip.
pers near home and whether he was as
bad to his first wife as they said he was or
not, one thing was certain, he bad to 90
abroad for one to fill her place,
MIR. Nippers was very lucky to find a
gal just to his mi5d, that lived about ten
miles from his place
Nancy Parker was rich, though she
wasn' very young or handsome she be-
longed to Mr.. Nipper's church, aud suited
his eye exactly, 50 he set 10 courtin' her
with all his might.
/ Ten miles was good long ride, and he
was an economical man; he used to ride
over to Mr.. Parker's plantation every Sun
day morning to 60 to church with the fam.
lily, take dinner with them, and ride back
in the cool Of the evening.
A ride over dusty road is npl 10 spoil
mans dry goods, and make him and his
horse very tired. However, Mr.. Nippers
didn't mind the fatigue as much as his
horse bat in Il matter such as he had on
hand it was important that he should make
as good m impression as possible, so he
adopted plan By which he could present
himself before the object Of his affections
in order, with his Sunday coat as clean,
and his blooming rulfles as fresh and neat
as if they had Just come ont Of band box.
TLis was happy eXpcdient and nobody
bat wldower lover would think Of it,
He used to start from home with his new
coat and shirt tied up in a pocket hand
kerchieO, and after riding within quarter
Of a mile Of Mr.. Porker's plantation he
would turn of into a thicket Of bushes and
there make his regular toilet.
One bright Sunday morning Mr.. Mp.
pers had arrived at his dressing ground
It was an important OCCASION Everything
was promising, and he hod made up his
mind to pop the question that day. There
= was no doubt in his mind but he would re.
torn home an engaged man; and he was
reckoning over to himselflhe virtue Of Miss
Nancy's plantation and negroes, while sit,
ting on his horse, milking his accustomed
) change Of dress. He had dropped the
reins on his horso'S neck, while it was
browsing about making up last nights
scanty feed from the bushes in his reach ;
and kicking and stamping at such flies as
were feeding on him in return.
"I'II fix the business this time said
Mr.. Nippers to himself, "I'II bring things
to a point this time" and he united his
nice clean clothes, and spread them on his
saddle bow.
! "Wo, Ball" SAYS he-"I've Just got to
say the word, and-wo y says he to his
. horse, which was kickingand roorjngabout.
"Wo you old lool-and the business is set.
tied Just like falling off log"
He was drawing his shirt over his head,
when Ball gave a sudden spring which
was like to make him lose his balance
= "Wo," says he. but before he could get
his arms out of his sleeves, Ball was
; wheeling and kicking like wrath at some.
: thing that seemed 10 trouble him anna
. zingIy.
Down went the clean clothes, shirt and
all on the ground. "Wo! blast your pic
ture-wo," says he, grabbing at the reins
D But before he could get hold OF them, Bal
= was off like a streak Of lightning with a
whole swarm of yellow jackets around bis
, tail, pinching him like thunder.
y Nippers grabbed hold Of the main, anC
; tried 10 stop his horse, but it was no use
. Away he went iniUriated and taking Tho
road he was used to travelling, anothe
moment brought him to the house. Th'
y cate was open, and in dashed the hors'
). with the almost naked Nippers hanging Il
his neck hoIlcrin, like blazcs, "stop hun
hornets" as loud as he could scream.
Out came the dogs, and after the hors
then went around the house, scattering lh
u ducks and chickens, and terrifying the lit
= tie niggers out of their senses. The nols'
= bfung the wimmen out.
. "Don'l look, Miss Nancy wo ketcI