Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-04-15
GT80N0B3.

ting subscriber, who has "hed TO parts
unknown" owing him six dollars, uses
the following tall language:
'T.et him be published in every journal
in existence, until his defalcation is known;
and upon the waves of the EuXine let his
meanness be borne along with the shrieks
of the drowning Auslrians and the groans
of the dying Turks "And may the
deep-dved waters Of the Danube hide his
BODY from the eye ofman, when the sabre
of The Cossack and the Turks shall have
drunk deeply of his blood And may the
close of 1854 never permit the sun TO
shine upon another rascal, who may ao"
scond in our debt, too mean and too dishon'
est even to write and promise TO pay J!
1t was said of great calumniator, and
freQuenter of other persons tables, that he
never opened bis mouth but at another
mans expense.
The man in possession stands to the
attorney in the relation oflogical sequence;
the latter is connected with your causes,
and the former with your effects.
The man who made a shoe for the foot
of mountain, is now engaged on hat
for the head of discourse,--aiter which
he will manufacture a plume for General
Intelligence.
An old maid in Connecticut, being al a
loss for needIe-case, made use of an
onion. On the following morning she
found that all of the needles had tears in
their eyes.
A young lady out West is so great
prude that she left the dining table the
other day because the servant put Somo
! bear meat before her.
Mrs. Partington expresses a hope that
the French and English will participate in
the hostile movements OH the Phospho-
rus
Deane Swift proposed to tax female.
beauty, and leave every lady TO state her
own charms. He said the tax would be
cheerlulIy paid and very productive. ,
I'll take your part as the dog said to
the cat when he robbed her Of her dinner.
The report that schoolmaster chastis-
boy with railroad switch is doubted.
| The fellow who seized an opportuni-
ty,' came near spraining his wrist
When man cannot 'contain HIMSELF
is he too large or too small !!
My dear Polly, | am surprised at your
taste in wearing another woman's hair on
your head, said Mr.. Smith 10 his wife
My dear Joe, | an equally astonishedthat
YOU persist in wearing another sleeps
1c0oL on your back. There now Poor
Smith sneaked.
A Kentucky paper apologies for the
scarcity Of editorial matter, on the plea
that the editor has got married, and was
so ashamed that he crawled into the Mam-
moth Cave. ID
The woman who neglects her husbands
dilapidated shirts, TO attend sewing circles,
and make flannel shirts and moral pocket
handkerchiefs for the healhen, is kinder
made up in bad style. The sooner she
starts for the South Sea islands tie better
for Mr. John Smith. ''
On a certain occasion farmer and his
son were moving in a field, when the
farmer had occasion to reprove the latter
for his laziness. The sons excuse was
that his scythe didn't hang right
Hang it TO suit yourself, then,' ex-
claimed the father pettshly.
Whereupon, the son hung his scythc
up on the limb Of tree and departed. %
The NEBRASKA QUEsTloN.-.-"Aftera APP
Pearances began TO Indicate tnat the Dem
oCracy had got pretty severe drubbing
at the late election, one of the UDierrifed
was explaining the cause 10 anoher, and
attributed il to The Nebraska bill. The
Nebraska bill, said the intelligent soVer,
ejgn, there's money enough IN the treas
ury-..why don't hey pay The d-d
Thing nld haze IL out gffhc 'cay2'
newley married man declares ihaIif
he had only an inch more of happines he
could not live. His wife and sister are
obliged to roll him on the floor and spst
him with a shingle every day, 10 preVenl
him from being too haPP". goo
A Nose-Gay is easily obtained. .--Four
brandy todIies per day for couple of
months will pulyOu in the way of one that
will ssIonish all your friends aHH>
Molly, what letter Of the alphabet do
YOU like the besi p
'Well, don't like to say, Mr.. Jack
son
Pooh, nonsense, tell right out, Moll.
Which DO you like besi p
'Well, (bIashing and dropping her eyesl
I IL. -. Ia IL L...g -