Columbia gazette., 1854-02-18

we all hav gineral Virginny brakedown
so the floor was klerd and we pard oph
and pi.cht in. The Mayor and Kandi-
date Kluff, tux the lede; Ich and the
Doctur next; then uthers, while Banker
Pete and 1 tux the tale end The
Mayor glided about with erase and in
good time, and candidate Eluff kept up
a nifty sputterin with his fetc. Banker
Pete smokid big segar and had his hat
ceckt ovir his left while his hands and
fete went up and down like the pistin
rod of a distracted enjine. Ich and the
Doctur wer putin in tho big liks and
ech tride tn owtdo the other, the Doctur
had two steps,-the whirl and the pijion
wing, while Ich put in the 2enuwine
dubbel-shuffel. Banker pete .ecin that
was gaining on him, in his hurri let
fal his segar and it FL upon Towser, who
Sprang betwcne the legs ov an Alder
man and upset him among the ehares
and labels, We awl in the konfushun fel
upon the poor fellow, insonuch that
nuthin but his nose Good be sene and
which stuck thro the legs oy ckMe,
and which Tcwser mistook, and havin
okkashum lifted his leg against it, and
the circumstance kickt up duse ov
rumpus, for I nevir herd man rip and
take on so befour in awl mi life as did
that Aldermin after the dance WAS ovir,
We tux suthin end went up to examin
the new road to Kolumbi, it runs east
ward up Sonery erik and around the
base ov bald moun,in, and ackordin tn
the acknrate survey ov Banker pete and
Kernal Varlew it epitomises the old
rode just won half, it also intcrseks the
emierant rode from Salt Lake. we then
went tu lux at the CRATE basin under the
sitty, about wich so much has ben sed,
we found the average depth tu be about
40 fete, and then We kalkulatid the dis
tance and fall of Sonory erik to its mouth
in respckt tu the horizun and found that
the water had about % fete fall, "whi.
this basin kant be draind, Doctur," sed
Ich, "keep kooi'' sed the Doctur,
"theres nifty big pile Of orc in that
basin; the pepcl don't konsider; we know
which side our bred is buttered," here
we went to the stty klerk's offs tu see
the books, the sitty Debt We found to be
onli 0,O00 dollars, and the sitty offisers
askt Ich, what measurs should be taken
to pa it; "whi,' ses he. "that easi enuf.
onli let thins 60 on as tha hav, and the
debt vii pa itself, as the debt increses,
the Scrip vii be worth les, and bi and bi
it wont be worth nuthin, and then there
will be nuthin tu pa,-thats natual
sense" ''but" scs tina, "there is re-
sponsiblliti, j" "pooh" ses 1ch ''who talks
about responsibility; sa no more about
1.-THE pepel vii laf at you" We then
went tn Sc the lokashun for the depot of
the pasifik raleroad-for that trak is tu
kum this wa,-the kounsil havin passd
an ordinance resently tn that effekt, we
admird it a CRATE deal, which hily plesd
our trends: af'cr sein other sites and
wondiIs, we returnd tu the Plasser hotel
| where a foot ra.e vas on the tappis, and
nwl the sitty had g4therd there tn Sc it,
The runers wer the kandidate for eitty
ofh,is, the startin pint was the post offs
and tother end was the Kurve Oke, SO
awl hands went down tn Sc the fun.
The Mayor and kindidate Kluff led out
fust, and the others broke after them
like wild hosses. Kluff gin the Mayor
a pretti tite pul for short distanse, -
if not, was little ahed until he got tu
the Sonory erik bridg where he slipt and
tumbld kerchug irtu the Mud and water
below. The Mayor, however, not ssein
him, SO kept on, in the meantime Ich
had set iutu keep up the sport, and as
he was s,ittin, on trottin, he closed hard
onto the Mayors heels. the Mayor
thot it was kluif and mi stars how he
did bend tn and streak it, he went like a
rokkitt aad never stopt till he got tu the
Shaw fat hill, when he fel down foamin
like shot bufalow. The candidate for
Marshal next kane owt, wardin and
purdy iver hand in hand on the lede
when Messik and max reached ahed and
and caught hold of purdy's kote tale tu
help themselves up, and wardin spredin
and got owt victor. The candidates
then kane on for sitty Attorney, Worth
ington and Platt kum fust and evin and
then tina piteht in eah other and fit like
wild kats fer the victory. Towser came
on next with some Aldermin but he ras
them oph the trak, then kane the last,
l-and these wer the Doctur and kernal
! Vaelew laoatid on burro and bearing
a banner with the inskripshun Getty
Bene6ts'' upon it, as the tarnel crittur
wont III any hurri,-Banker pete and
RulssoA pokcd him behind with 4 sharp
stick, and after much exershun got him
intu nightmare gallop, the rase beiu
ovir we returnd and found kluF sittia
bi the road side clothed and in his rite
mind; seein 1ch he cride out, II sa Ich,
lde given the Mayor titc pull for it,
had it not ben for that cussed patch ov
ground, known as the Sonory erik
Grant," "Iactli mi opinion" sed Ich
'hede what lie tel va another time cant
yu' s1ile try tu" sed the poor candidate
dolefully, "what fool 1 was tu expose
miself!''
! After finishin up the boises bisness and
setting things rite, Ichabod, at the re-
quest Of the sittisens Deliverd a crate
speech-which for time and space | can
not now rite down, but shall shortli do 60