The Empire County argus., 1854-11-25

Dogge," and we three then proceeded to view the
curi0sities. We commenced with the double-bar-
relied niggar baby, (Which Bull Dogge says is an
illegltmate devil, y went to the rhinoceros,
(who is always provided with horn, Barnums S
temperance talk to the contrary nevertheless y the
happy family; the two-egged calf (B. D. says it is
not the only one in the city) red darkey; a
green Yankee; white Irishman, (Damphool says
that this latter individual is an impossibility, and
could only have originated with Barnum y wax fig
ure of tall man in blue coat with star on his
breast, (Damphool says it is policeman, who was
found when he was wanted; but Bull Dogge says
there never was any such person, and that the
whole story is a Gay fable; y found, by the pro-
gramme, that it is supposed to represent Louis
Napoleon never knew before he had one eye black
and one blue, (Bull Dogge asserts that the usual
custom is, to have one eye both black and blue y
wax model of the railroad man who swindled the
community, (now living on his money and presi-
dent of the Foreign Mission Society for the sup
preston of pilferng on the Foo Foo Islands y wax
figure of the abandoned, dissolute, and totally de-
PRAYED woman, who flched half a loaf of bread to
give her hungry children, and who was very prop
erly sent to Blackwelrs Island for it, also of the
city contractor who did clean the streets; dam
phool states that he is residing at Utica.) Saw a
great multitude of monkeys, streaked face, white
face, black face, hairy face bald face (Bul Dogge
prefers the LATTER (wth great assortment of tails,
differing in length and varying as to color, long
tails short tails stump tails ring tails wiry tails
curly tails, tails interesting and insnuatng, tails
indignant aud uncompromisng, big tails, little tails
bobtails, (Damphool suggests Robert narratives,
and no tails (Bul Dogge says that some effeminate
descendants of this latter class now promenade
Broadway, and he swears that they have greatly
degenerated in intelligence; pictures, paddles,
pumpkins, carriages, corals, lava, boats, breeches
boa constructors shells, oars, snakes, toads butter
nhotoe I,,o. h,,l1,
BELLS bats BIRDS petrifacons putrifactions, model
railroads, model churns model gridirons, model
artists, model babies, cockneys, cockades. cock
reaches, cocktails, sclaps thomashawks Noah's ark,
Paganini's fiddle, Old Grmes's coat autocrats, au-
Biographies, Otto Goldschmidt, who ought-to-b
whipped, ought-to be-shot, ought-to be-hanged,
ought ttobe-burned in an Auto de Fe chickens,
cheeses Goldfish, Shanghas, mud-turtles alligators,
moose mermaids, hay-scales scale armor, monsters,
curiosties from Rotterdam, Amsterd---m, Beaver
DIN Chow Sing Tchnsing Linsing, Lansing,
Sing Sing, cubebs, cart wheels, mummies. heros,
poets, idiots, maniacs, benefactors, malefactors,
pumps, porcupines and pill machines all mingled,
mixed and conglomerated. like Connecticut chow
der, or the Jew soup of the witches in Macbeth
Upstairs at last, and into an adoescent theatre,
chrstened Lecture Room, (Damphool says it is
known as the Deacons Theatre and that all his
pious namesakes attend) Saw the play, laughed,
cried, sneezed snorted, and felt good all over.
Much pleased with bit of fun originating in a
jealous fireman, and terminating in a free fight
Fireman Nose saw Rose, his sweetheart, with Joe,
the hackman; got jealous, pitched into him---fun-
thought of Tom Hood, and went off at half-cock---
thus:
Enter Rose with Joe--sees Mose--M beaus Rose
Rose knows those beaux foes-Joes bellicose--so's
Mose-Mose blows Joe's nose--Joe's blows pose
Mose--Rose Oh's--Mose hoes Joes rows--Joe's blows
chose Moses nose--Mose shows Joes nose blows
Joc's nose grows roseMose knows Joe's nose shows
those blows--Joe goes--Nose crows.
P. S. Joe being whipped, and moreover, being the
only innocent enc in the whole fight, was arrested
by the vigilant and efficient police.
P. P. S. Damphool says that Joe treated the
Emerald conservators of the public quiet, and is
again at large.
Let Nose beware. Yours,
@. r. PHILANDER DoEsTIcKs, P. B.