Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1854-12-15
BIDGE AND BADGE,
or CHILDREN as. NO CHILDREN.

~'
Mr.. and Mrs. Bidge and Mr.. and Mrs.
Badge were next door neishbors. Mr.. and
Mrs. Bidge had eight children-four boys
and four girls. But Mr.. and Mrs. Badge
had neither chick nor child.
Disappointment and discomfort are the
common lot ofmortals The Bidges were
mortals aud so were the Badges, and dis
content reigned supreme in the Bidge house
while disappointment was the prevailing
feature in the dwelling of the Badges.
The fact was, that Mrs. Bidge hated
children, and in turning herself into a Badge
she had got more than she bargained for
Sad was Mr.. Bidgc to contemplate the
lack of maternal affection which was evinc-
ed by his wife.
Amt they your own children y he would
ask pathetically.
No they amt; they are yours! she
would spitefully reply; 4 never wanted
any. 1t is your own fault
There was no answering remark like
that, and Bidge, like christian, put up
with the taunt, partly perhaps, because he
thought he deserved it, and at any rate be-
cause he couldn't help it. Mrs. Bidge
said she couldn't help it, and of course the
little Bidges couldn't-and so they Were
of Bidge martyrs-enveloped in daily
cloud of discomfort.
Disappointment was the feeling thai
knocked the daylight out of the happiness
of the Badges. They were an honest, tlu
gal, straight forward, philoprogenitive
hard working couple, and it would giv'
us pleasure to record that they were des
tined to multiply virtuous posterity, had
such been the agreeable fact but it canno
be disguised any longer that the Badges
had been married for ten years, and hae
appeared to pay no more regard for thei
country's census than if they had beer
forei gners, resolved to take no part il
swelling the ranks of Native Americans.
But we should neither leap, jump, run
rush, hop Or sling, ourselves at conclu
sions. We should approach them care
fully by a reasoning process, and whe
we investigate this matter of the Badges
we shall find that politics had nothing t
do with the scarcity of their labels, an
that the sole reason why they fell short c
the true matrimonial mark was the sam
, as that which prevents the poor from be
coming rich-they were not able.
The perversity of mortals is past al
, bearing. They are always grumbling o
! their situations. The Badges grumble
, because they had no children; the Bidge
because they had and if the Bidges ha
; the Badges, and the Badges the Bidges,n
< doubt they would have grumbled just q
t much. Such unreasonable people desery
0 to be made examples Of, and here we d
e it and expose them right in print and
], public. &a @s3ra
Q One Of the severest trials of Mr.. Bade
s was to sit in his parlor, with back wiz
e dow open, and see Mrs. Badge looking o,
81 into the back yard of the Bidges, prai
ing the little Bidges at play, and enjoyin
< the good fortune of their parents in havin
: them. It seems to him as if Mrs. Bade
y did it to tantalze him. This was uncha
], table in Badge. saa5 yas
f 20, come, do see the little Bidges!
e do see! O, do see!' said Mrs. Badg
= clapping her hands. ss AgtalAF
q What is there SO very interesting
d q parcel Of children making fools Of then