Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1854-06-21
Hiring a Brakeman.

MANY years since, soon after the opening OF
the Norwich and Worcester Railroad, stout
looking, innocent, about six feet in his stockings
with shews and things to match, stood in the de-
Dot at Worcester, gazing with evident admiration
at the bran new cars and locomotive, which had
Just arrived at the station.
A rough citizen who stood near him, watching
his undisguised wonder attentively, and entered
into conversation with him.
He was "down from Vermont, arter work, and
wanted to get on one OF these railroads"
"Do!," said the joker; "why don't you go and
see the superintendent"
avail, would eff l knew where to find
him."
40, well, come along with me-"l'm going
right by his Office"
And accordingly offwent the twain, straight to
the store, where the demurest of hoaxers, Jem
B., stood like pratical spider, waiting for an
unsophisticated humanity that he might founder
in his net
"Ah" said the wag, who acted as pilot, "there
he is. Here's young man, Mr.. B. who wants q
berth on the road as brakeman"
swell, l don't know; we've had great many
applications for the post, and, in fact, had enga-
ged man to 60 out on this train; but as he was
not up TO his engagement, ] will take you. Have
you been accustomed to railroadng!"
Wall, no, haint, but guess could learn
it mighty soon. What's the wages!"
"Thirty-six dollars month and Clothes"
"W-a-l-l, Mister, I'm ready, if you say so, to
take right hold"
"Very well, then, I'll send you down on this
train; bat wish to put you on your guard with
reference to one NATTER and that is, there is set
of troublesome fellows continually hanging
around the train, pretending to belong to the
road Some of them may interfere with you; if
they do, put them off the train at once-tell them
dence from them. As to your duties, when you
hear one whistle, screw on your brakes; if two
alarms are given, loosen the brakes for the train
to 60 on. I'll 60 with you and put you on the
train. You return here tonight, and then I'll see
about your boarding place." -~---a
Accordingly they Went down to the station,
and there the pretended Superintendent showed
his employer the brakes and the mode of using
them, leaving him with fresh injunction to
knock down any one who attempted to interfere
with him.
Before many minutes the Vermonter had Gus
toner. The whistle sounded, and on went the
brakes.
"What are you doing with that brakel" shout
ed legitimate brakeman "Jump off there in a
hurry. you don't want your head broke"
Jonathan looked ut his interogator "a small
man) with contempt, but disdained reply.
"Sh-h-ree! wha-o-rool, went the whistle, and
the new brakeman screwed away for life until
snap went the chain.
This was the cup too much, and off went the
infuriated little brakeman for assistance.
"What are you doing there!" asked the con-
ductor, who returned with the man, and stepped
upon the Platform,p ,placed his hand upon Jonathan
with view to summary ejectment. A brief strug
gle ensued at the termination of which the con
ductor lay PROSTATE upon his back, with tn,
small brakeman's head jammed between his legs
"Come on, ye darned heathens!". shouted Jon
athan, now fully aroused, "come on, I'll learn v,
to cut up your didoes around me! I'm hired,
be! Mr.. - hired me for this Dizziness, and e
don't learn yer to tend to yer own Dizziness, it'll
be becoz yer stouter'n be-"
A fresh struggle ensued between our hero an,
some half-dozzen others employed on the trail
who had gathered around, and Jonathan was final
ly overpowered, when an explanation took place
and the superintendents store was sought for
but could not be found, as the incorrgible was
had not been so incautious as to make the enpaoe
ments in his own store; and although he wa.
strongly suspected of being the author of thu
joke, no proof could be had for by shrewC
management Of the face and cool assurance aidec
by difficult dress he succeeded in urging iona
than out of his supposition; the latter having
charged him with the joke. The best part of the
joke was the announcement. The actual Super
lntendent heard of the affair, and OF the indomita
BILE pluck displayed by the Vermonter sent fol
him, and did actually engage him; and it is sal,
that he now fills satisfactory post upon one o
the Great Western Railroads But such Joke,
being serious with six-footers, Jem had been com
PEELED to forego similar Injuries from that day t,
this
The Springfield Post says if you open an oys
ter and retain the liquor upon the deep SHE'LL OF
examining it with microscope YOU will find