Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-06-15
NO. 49,
FACTS AND FANCIES.

ABOUT SHANGHA1s.-Do these fowls lay
hard or soft shells?
Can you coGnt your chickens before they're
Matched by these wonderful birds?
p Could you depend upon any of your ami
mails being ''cocks of the walk'-and if so,
would you be entitled to "crow over your
neighbors?
Does the stature of these animals enable
them to detect the ''peep'' of day any sooner
than others. and are they out upon the clay"
any earlier than all other fowls?
If well fed, would they acknowledge the
corn" by their increased size?
Z Is it likely that bne would be able to s'fca-
ther his nestHel by a speculation in birds
Of this species
RATHER HARD UPON THE NATVES:--The
Hon. 7. S. Babcock, Of Virginia, in q recent
speech in Congress, thus apostrophises the
great American people -
"There are, alas! too many who interpO-
late upon the Bible, and when the command
ment says, thou shalt not steal,' add. in their
reading, except from the United States Go
vernment.';
A former Mayor of Baltimore thus explains
! his reasons for preferring to wear stockings
with holes to having them darned: "a hole,7
said he, 'may be the accident Of day, and
! will pass upon the best gentleman, but a darn
! is preneeditated pOuerty."
GRANDFATHER" said saucy little boy,
the other day, chow old are you?"
The old gentleman who had been a soldier,
and was much under the ordinary size, took
the child beneath his knees, and said
my dear boy, am ninety-fve years old,
! but why do you ask"
The little fellow, with all the Importance of
a Napoleon, replied
"Well; it appears to me you are remarka-
bly, small for your age"
II say, Pete, some ID loco stole half my
pig last night"
''How do you know it was loco, Bill"
Because, if he'd have been whig he'd have
taken the whole of it,
A gentleman in one of the towns of Massa-
chusetts had pet dog which Gas the law re-
quired) he wished TO have licensed. He en-
quired of the Clerk if the dog had to make
personal application? NO." was the reply,
''you, as neat Of kira can take out the pa
pcrs."
Punch says Russia governs the sERFs, but
Britannia rules the waves
Mr.. VIM. Campbell, of Missouri, was acci-
dentally drowned in the American river on
the 10th inst.
Hon. Luther Severance, of Maine. late L.
States Commissioner to the Sandwich Islands,
is afflicted with an incurable cancer, which
has already eaten away his lower lip and
chin, and is extending among the glands of
the throat where the flesh is rotted out and
requires constant dressing. He is actually
heing eaten up alive.
Punch says: Little children arc the lilies
of-thc-valley of life.''
The nerve which never relaxes, the eye
which never blenches, the thought which ne
yer wandcrs-these are the masters of victo-
ry.
Hood was not very wide of the mark when
he sang:
"a man may cry 'Church-Churchr at eve
ry word,
With no more piety than other people
DAVIS not reckoned q religious bird
Because he keeps cawing from steeplc"
pat can you tell me what is Il virgin p
To be sure I can Jimmy
''Well, thin will We be afthcr doin' it?"
Yes. jist: it's woman that has never
been married at ALL
BE yc in airnest, Pat?'
Yes. Jimmy
The saints in heaven be praised then my
mother is a virgin: my father never married
her at ALL sure
I'll SEE THAT ONE AND Go FIVE BETTERr'
If the following, which we clip from the last