Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-05-25
VARIETY.

nN-An itinerant minister vas one day |
prsashing To a pack Of hardened Sinners
when he made use6f the following original
sai striking smile My heagers, said he, 4 |
can compare you to nothing But parcel of
klo.ly hickory buttsi ths gospel il the wedge
ana-throwipg himself in tho attitude 81 a
wssdsman-'by the grace Of God l'm the
beetle 10 drive it-into you u haack
n-A couple bf sons Of the Emerald Isle
met near the Custom House one day wien,
after the usual situations, one said to the
ether, WELL Patrick. poor Horton Is dead 2
abiding 70 enc Of their aequaintances who
died suadenlyj - yes, its very siekiy here;
= troat many have died here this year that
never died before
n-If yea want to feel as nice as hymn
beck in red cover aud gold clasp-whea-
ever you see . pretty girl fall down in the
! street. Just rua and pick her up. We did
H. yesterday, 4and~hdvs. felt full of sunshine,
clever, and fsprstOry haPpiaess ever since.
E.z-k6 old bachelor geoiogist was boast
i,r that every rock was as familiar to him
s.s he alphabet. Alady, who was present,
declared that she knew Of rock of which
kevas wholly ignorant Name it madam
cried Colebs, n rage. It's rock t.s era
de, tr, replied the lady celess eyapora.
Z ted
nA vermeatey once expressed his opia-
lea o. a psrscain the following styleof class
Il .-tI could take, said he, ths little-end Of
netting. whittlszit de9n to point, punch
1eut the pitA Of horse aair, and put in forty
tSeusana such souls al bis shake tsem up
sad taeyd .qttfs'
E1-Wo were amused with q remark We
heard in tue street last night 'Halloo, Bill,'
said e.f fellow to one of bis tipsy companions,
vho was standing against lamp pest, is
tina. yaar pos. p Not exactly said the tip
~ one, hut II have kaa upon il
x-sWhas have. you doae to further hu--
man progressr asked ) seatentious pbiles-
opher tAs other day Of Jenkins Jenkins
renly vas clear and decisive i I've seven
bsys and two gifls,rsif The philosopher
departed AID FOR tie hrst time in his lite,
Dssagh,
urThey have rich joks on Dr. .Egan
Of Chicago; he is a great land operator. as
.wellas a NOS. successful physician The
Doctor prescribed soma pills for lady-
She asked how they-rere 70 be tAkenl "
quarter dewx,' said the doctor, and the bal,
ancs in oae, two and three years.
ga young lady, says one Of eur -ex,
changes, remarked TO male friend that she
fsars she would make psor sailor, The
Eeatleman promptly answered, Probably
Bat I'm surs you would make an excellent
naate
ErAt aaner party, lately, the follow
ing message was politely delivered by lit
lie girl to4a WI Of no inferior order If
ysn please Mr. b., mamma sends her com
pliments aud would hsmaeh obliged If you
Would bcgia tolbe fanny
Hs-The emperor Of Russia is at present
an auteerat. Bah with France and Eng. |
lani. against him, We tAink~>sae odds are
two 10 eae that be will soon be nadS
naughtccrat.
E-.We have al eur wild eats to sow
says tie Times, en- gaming Very good
oaiy azfsrtGaately TIE oats Of the simpleton
make the dirty bead Of the scoundrsl
E.Sammy, my son. how many weeks |
belosg to the year y Forty six, sir Why, !
Sanms, how 70 you make that out7, Tho |
ether six are Lent
ErMrh Pariington asks, very Indignant
y il the bills bs.oTe Congress are rot eoua- |
tsrfsit, WAY there should be such dificul- |
y in passing them 4:
ErA drunken lozf,r. on reeovsrinr from 1
. spell of siesuess Was asked whether be I
lad been afFAA e meeting his God sOk. /
me- he replied, I vas 9Aiy af.ail Of rosher
chap.
HFA serrant-naid. who was occupied in I
,;sklinr her mistress's eabbages, tosk The |
soDortunity Of eakbaging herr MISTRESS
pickles, saying i made 10 difference
frs-The lady uho vas IN the habit Of
sstsaainc On her indignity.' came very near
tumbli1e 81 NJ oskeE day.
IA usstsrl o1iter, noticing Rloomer,
l.il- she looked gsn,Fkahly vel, = f.r Is
,, eppld go.