The daily Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1854-1855, 1854-07-19
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

| SNIPEN has added the following to his Ltany -
From sanctimonious mothers, who court for others
from smiling Misses, whose only wish is, to sport
with hearts and their dstresscs, pray deliver lis -
From cracking doors, ssconfounded bores,'' a wife
that scod maidens too DID, and to sharpers ssoId
preserve us From choIic's gripes, smoking pipes
and Mrs. Snipes, deliver lis From modest girls.
with waving cmls, and teeth Of pearls-aeser miud
bride should have nine qualifications, all begin
n'ng with the letter p, viz Pcty, Person and Parts
Patience, Prudence and Providence, Privilege Pa.
rcntage and Portion; but that which should be first
OF all and most of all in consideration, which is Pic
ty, is nowadays thought of last of all least of ALL
and by many not at all; and that which should be
least of all and last Of all in considerations which is
Portion, is now become first Of ALL most of all, and
with many all in all
Yankee met celestial in the streets of San
Francisco and with characteristic of the race. ac-
costed him as follows : 'sWhere are You from ~
''iiong Kong" ''Where are you bound % ssGce-
long" ''What tea are you fond of % s>ouchong -
"What kind of fowls do you consider the best %
"What kind of grapes do you prefer % s'Scupper-
uong.' ''What's your 20 ''Oh, 60 Tong
An exchange says that New Yorker has just been
fined five dollars for kissing lady against her will
The court that imposed the fine ought to be booted
out of the halls of Justice It's all nonsense to talk
of kissing woman s'against her will" 1t don't
stand to reason; it amt natural; it can't be done The
lady that was kissed against her will, and the cat
that woudt cat cream, must both belong to the me
imaginary museum-;hey aint nowhere.
"GEoRGE SMITH, do you reco!Iect the story OF
David and Goliah - eyes, sir; David was a tav-
crn keeper, and Goah was an Incorporate -
''Who told YOU that 20 s'Nobody. read it; and
it said that David fixed sling for Goliah, and Coli
all got slowed with ito
a young lady of ITarrsburgh, Pa, was out riding
ing, when she, in the most simple manner, requested
her companion to get out and hold the horses leg,
he might injmc the vehicle.
Car NICHOLAS cried, as he looked in the glass,
ella ha why am like beautiful lass - "Well,
why = said the Empress. "Because,' replied he,
ESQ many fine fellows are dying for mes
The man up in Delphi, thirty eight years old, who
ia Anna, if he persists in his struggle with Russia,
will be to lose all the territory of the Bosphorus
and he excluded from the navigation Of the Amazon
Sea!
fellow who had been hooked by an unruly COW,
limped in his gait. A woman remarked that he APP
pcared to be intoxicated. eyes," replied her beau,
he has been taking couple Of horns"
"SAMMy, my boy, what are breaches Of trust %
said 4 father to his smarteSt son. "What funny
question, Pa "Can't you answer it, Sammy?'-
eyes, Pa, but don't like to.'' "What a silly boy
Come, out with it, my son.'' ssWeIl, Pa, your Sun
day trowsers are brooches Of trust, cause you got e
on tck.''
AS ministerial gentleman was speaking at one of
the anniversary meetings in Boston, on Wednesday,
he got so excited that his false teeth dropped out
and h. obliged to suspend his remarks until he
could .e,, lace them