Daily American organ. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1856, 1854-11-16
IHAVE LOVED FOUR.

The first one loved! Oh, in what way can
| describe how / loved him! How tell the
delicious tremor that seized me when heard
his voice, or the happiness experienced in
looking at him, or tho tender care / took to
produce smile on his lips? And yet must
confess he was ugly-very decidedly ugly.
But he was my first love, tho first being who
had made my heart palpitate the whole day;
who clothed my dreams with ever-srniling I'M
ages; who opened to me an entirely new life;
and from that time comprehended no bappi-
ness which was not through him; no senti-
ments which were not for him; no duties
would not have sacrificed to him. Each of his
words made every fibre Of my frame vibrate;
each look, whether gay or quiet, reflected il
self in delicious joy in the depths of my heart;
and when his mouth multituded kisses on nine
when his arm formed caressing collar around
my neck, when his hands played with the
braids of my hair, happiness elevated my emo
tion towards heaven, for then understood the
enjoyment Of the angels. Near him all other
sentiments faded. What TO me now were the
bonds imposed by law or habit; what the
pleasures of society, the triumphs Of self.lovc2
How many times, to remain near him. have
laid aside my festival ornaments, preferring his
simple words to all the intoxicating praises Of
the worlds How | loved to sec my golden
girdle bruised between his fingers, or the gar
land with which had coqucttishly decled my
brow trampled beneath his feet. Oh! what for
him should / not have demanded of heaven,
and what affection could ever rival him in my
soulg Notwithstanding, must not tell it. 4
year Of intoxication had scarcely passed when
another sentiment invaded my heart No
power could oppose itself to the interest with
which another being inspired me, an entire
stranger, but whose candid expression awoko
in me thousand hopes. He had glorious
! eyes, from which learned TO draw the tender
ness; and when he leaned his head on my
bosom, when he murmured my name, like the
| first note Of a new love song, said 10 myself,
g Here, also, is the happiness of loving" |
welcomed this thought il doubled my delight,
and Loped them both How in some time
from this was found near me, oh such hand
some fellow, with pale complexion and blue
eyes, dare hardly tell you.
| However since my pen is vowed to truth,
and my heart must here betray its secrets,
viii confess that this passion was not solely one
Of those piquant episodes which glide across
the heavens without disturbing their harmony.
My young love took its place in my heart, and
to keep him there | layished my tenderest ca
resscs loved TO follow the development of
his first desires, to reap myself only the ef-
forts Of his scnsibility. Twas now persuaded
that the heart of n woman resembled flower
whose perfume Is love, aud that an affection
the more but added another branch Could
then resist the new sentiment that offered IL
! self to meY And-I loved all three Oh if
could only surround in mystery the depth of
my heart this last weakness Of my nature, if
could only stop at the mystical number Of my
first loves. But, alasi destiny is great mex
pressible; and, in spite of myself | finished
by adoring a child a veritable child, who came,
| do believe, from the blue ETHEREAL heaven, for
he was beautiful as the cherubims who held
the veil over the head Of the Virgin, and his
mouth, when he smiled, wsuld have made Eve
| sin. (Satan must have hooked thus when he