The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1854-12-27
m :, on who don't love babies is monster

The man VINO QOH tiosc Daoieo 10 .
In one of the courts recently, on witness les-
tifving that the prisoner at the par had the "
most aversion to humanity in the lniantlie &C.
partment the Judge at once sentenced the ras-
cal to two years longer Imprisonment than was
lat first intended.
'sYour charity, dear lady" cried begggar,
the other day. Il have no small change 49,
sThen charming madam, give me your beau
tihl lilv hand to kiss ssNo friend, there's
half dollar for YOU
The industrious old lady, who walked all
over town with can in her hand to procure
mint Of the milk of human kindness, has been
more successful in getting little Just out OF
th4 lar of door. She got the jam on her
| fingers a;e
/ ference between solicitor and an attorney
Precisely the same as between crocodile
and an alligator" he replied and none knew
that fact better than lawyer Jekyl.
/ The man who bolted the door IS suffering
from indisposition.
An old lady, entirely out of the hearing OF
the preachers voice at camp meeting Deing
found sobbing, was asked why she Wept since
| she could not hear the words OF the preacher!
'Oh!" said she, ri can see the holy man Wag
of his headp'
! A genius in New Bedford is now fitting up
steamer for the purpose of towing lcebergs to
India, where they sell for six cents pound.
! Another proposes to do still better-.to fit
screw to the berg Itself, ard thus avoid the ex-
pense of ship-building. We go in for the lat
ter-Y ankee enterprise against the world.
The celebrated artist, who crowed SO man
! fully that the sun rose three hours before Its
time, has recently finished picture OF the
moon which is painted with such wonderful
| fidelity to nature that it can't be seen IN the
| daytime
An editor out west has sign over one OF the
doors Of his office with the caption Fighting
department. Any gentleman wishing to take ia
the editor to task, is ushered therein. The
room contains pistols, bowie-knives, double
| barrel shot guns, besides an armament OF cow
| hides.
The immortality Of the age is standing to-
pic of complaint with some, but # any one
| likes to be moral, there is nothing in the age
to prevent it.
A Judges duty is to snub the counsel on
both sides, and bother the jury with third
method of looking at a case.
Teeth like verbs, are regular, irregular, and
defective.
Modesty is the citadel of beauty and virtue.
The first of all virtues is innocence, the second
is modesty.
A young lady being recommended exercise
for her health, said she would jump at an offer
and run her own risk.
II can marry any girl l please said a
young fellow boastingly. every true,,,' repli
lad M nj
The San Diego Herald publishes an cpl
taph copied from the tombstone OF one Jesus
Hambrick, Of California. It is queer COM
position, winding up in the manner following:
''He was accidentally shot with one OF the
large Colts reyolvers with no stopper tor the
cock to rest on. 1t was one of the old fashion
ed kind brass mounted and Of such is the king
dom of heaven .....
A lawyer in Worcester recently undertook
to get man clear of theft by showing the jury
crack on his skull, which he assertad was
made by being crossed in love when young
The fellow who conquered world of pre-
iudices,' is about to tender his SERVICES to Tur-
key
A young lady in Albany was lately married
to Mr.. VIM. Tongue. Amt she togue-tlred?
Hope she may be happy, and hold her tongue
many years.
| 1t has been observed with much significance,
that every morning we enter upon new day,
carving still an unknown future in its bosom.
How pregnant and stirring the reflection
Thoughts may be born to-day which may new
er expire Acts may be performed to-day,
the consequences of which may not be realized
until eternity. .@@ .-l
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