The Cedar County advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1856, 1854-01-28
"a little nonsense, now and then,
Is relsaed by the best of men,
ENDS AND ODlTsES.
E.y= Some right-mipded wag plays Of

and alms-houses."
That brandy brands the noses Of all
those who cannot govern their appetites.
That wine causes many to take
winding way home"
That punch is the cause of many I'M
friendly punches"
That ale causes many ailinss, while
beer brings many 10 the bier
Thai champaign is the source ofmany
a real side pain"
THAT g'n-slings have slowed more
than the sling Of old .... .r
That the reputation of being fond OF
cock tails is not a feather in any mans
cap.
That money spent for port that is
supplied by portly gents would support
poor family. q. .a...-..
That porter is weak supporter for
those who are weak in body"
s9a- An Editor somewhere in the
west, has become SO hollow from depcn-
ding on the printing business alone for
bread, that he proposes 10 sell himself
to some gentleman, to be used as stove
pipe.
LorA MoSrEz.-At the last account
from the Countess she was engaged In
tanning grizzly bear in California.
We pity the poor bear.
BY A singer who led the psalm tune
at meeting short time since, finding
that his concluding word, which was ia
cob, had not syllables enough to fill up
the music adequately, ended thus -
"Ja-a-a--Ja-a-a-a-lol de riddle-cob
Quick WIr.--One Of the readicst re-
plies we have heard lately, was made by
an Irish laborer.
A gentleman travelling on horseback
"down east" came upon an Irishman
who was building fence in most bar
rem and desolate piece of land.
"What are you fencing in that lot for,
Pat E SAID he, "a herd OF cows would
starve to death Oh that land"
And sure, your honor, wasn's fen
cling 1t 10 keep the poor bastes out Of " il2 '
81 The book Of all books is your
heart, on which is written and engraved
the deepest lessons OF Divine instruc-
ton. Learn. therefore, to be deeply at
tcntlve to the presence OF God in your
heart, who is always speaking, always
instructing, always illuminating that heart
which is attentive to HIM.
S.a~ There ate no hands upon the
clock of eternity; there is no shadow
upon its dial. The very hours Of heaven
viii be measured by the sunshinc-not
by the shadow.
KxuD IvERsoS.-Thc Boston Pos,
gives a good Int, on the strength Of that
'Pious fraud lately perpctrated in Chi
cago as follows.
"Out west," remarked Aunt Kitty look
ing up from the newspaper, they build
monuments to persons VINO don't steal
Il suppose that to be the reason, replied
Roger, way there are SO few monuments
in that country.
CuRLs IN Fashion. Paris letters
state, for the information OF ladies, that
curls are entirely the fashion there now,
and even ladies' OF advanced years wear
their gray curs as graciously as young
ones do then rnglc ot auburn and black
aud as long as the hair will admit, even
to the waist, (in front. There are no
great puts at the temple, such as are worn
IN New York. The narrow fronts to the
bonncts forbid them now.
Mrs. Miller, a daughter of Gerrit Smith,
exeiies a great deal OF curiosity IN WASH
mgion, by appearing IN full Boomer
costume.
ftas" \ female residing al Brandon, ".
not Vet thirteen years old, has recently
become mother She was married be-
lore SIC was GleA ell.
~ Men are made ia the image Of
God. Gentleman are manufactured by
,allors, BARRIERS and boot-nakcrs. Wo-
man was the lat and most perfect work
Of God Ladies are The production OF
silk worms, Inillinefs, and dress-makers.
~ Dip the Atlantic dry with a tea
spoon ;His, your heel INTO the toe your
boot, make postmasters perform their
promises, and subscribers pay the printer;
send up fishing hooks III balloons, and fish
Tor stars; get astride Of a gossarner aud
chase comet blow out The sun with a
pair Of bellows when the rain Is coming
Town like cataract Of Niagara, reanem-
Der whore you LETT your umbrellas choke
mosquito wilma brick-brat; and in short,
prove all things heretofore considered i'm