Muscatine journal. [volume] (Bloomington, Iowa) 1849-185?, 1854-01-27
Humorous Variety.

\ 'N"6 '''"' stiSii TIC III! HOW on III ole
| stream. hlsE a&& aEEESEt
Humorous Variety.
-IHE FORCE OF HADIr.-squsezng into fight
coat.
--"Occ swallow does not make a summer" BUT
| one lion can make srIing.
Tho man who attempted to lo,k into tue futur.
had the door slammed ia his face.
a NATURAL CossYqUEscE.-When en- after
dinner orator. owing 10 bis fud lied intellect is unable
to carry out lis Ideas is pretty sure sign that be
will very shortly have to be carried cut himself
-HoRRlBLt.-Wc learn tha. about Is miles
down the river an old man, upwards of so years of
age, had quarrel with lis wife, when he violently
seized an axe ana-chopp,i som. wood!
~ have good ear, wonderful car" said
conceited musician, in the course of conversation
$50 has jackass, replied a bys,andar.
MISS LUCY sroxs
name like "CHrtius' shall lie his
On flames louna trumpet blown,
Who with wedding kiss shuts up
The mouth of Lacy Stone.
a little fellow, weeping most piteously, ws,
suddenly interrupted by som, amusing occurrence.
He flushed bis cries fer moments there was s.rug-
gle between smiles and tears-tha train of though,
was broken IN said he, resuming his en-, tl and
wishing to kavo his cry CIT, "ma-ugh ugh Ugh
what was crying about just low 20
Tho BuffilO Express says that the au,t or of
this rhyme deserves to DO "nipped by uutimcly
frosts:''
'Tis winter, and no more the brsezss
Bug am. ngst the budding treeses;
And whilst the boy with ragged trouses
Shiyering, homeward drives his cowses.
Newly frost bit are bis tosts,
And bless my life, how blue his nose l.!
-Printer's devils are generally ladies' men, INST.
withstanding they have pretty hard names. Some
time ago, ono Of tEose hard pamcd fellows and
his ladylcve were walking along, and chatting very
briskly upon the numerous topics of the day, when
SIZE uidenly caught his hard and looking smngly in
his fees, asked
"Do you know why cannot get religion?"
"No, my dear, DO not be replied.
alt is because love the DEVIL
four devil says he wishes she had been talAirg to
him. .E 4s&
-PREDEsTIEAros.-T was once an old man
who believed that "what was to be, would be-" He
lived in Missouri, and was orce going out through
rcson infested ia early time By very savage Indians.
He always took Lis gun with him, hut this time found
that some Of the family had taken it cut. As be
would rot so without il, his frienGs t2ntazed him,
saying there was 10 danger Of the Indians, that he
would not die till his time any how. says the cid
fellow, "but suppose was to meet an Indian and els
time was COM it wouldn't do not 20 have my gun 20
- Soma company in Ireland d,sputing relative to
the quickncss OF reply aerb.d 10 tbs lower orders of
that country, i, was resolved pu tie mater to test
in tbs person of a Clown who vas approaching them.
PAt, said OF the gentleman off the devil was to
| come d termined to take on Of Us, which do you
think he would take?"
"Me, to be sure."
"Wby SCI"
"B,causc hs knows he can have your homer any
time ge
Tie strict honesty Of Bob Sinpglass deserves to
be regarded as an example TO his brethren of the
Happy good fellow Society. The ot5sr night having
walked over Cambridge brids e in gag course, Gu
ious end wonderful be hove up against the dollhouse,
and giving tne toll gaherer two cents he exclaimed
"Here les my contribution to the support Of the
| bridge
eyes, and there is one cent over said the tender.
"one cent is the regular t0ll-ic-ic--ain'tits"
AYES, SIR"
"Well, then, owe you two any way-for if have
walked every plank in the bridge twice over then
-ic-I'm BARRIERS pole. so keep the change, old
feller."
He reeled away, and the admiring toll gatherer lost
sight of him in darkncss.-[ Boston paper.
| -OUR GRAsDrArHERs.-I once heard vain,
conceited chap standing with some fifteen or twenty
other fellows, round the almost red-ho. stove of
country store enc winter night, say, that VIC were
much wiser now, in the present generation, than in
generations gone by, in every thrg and that all of
US were wiser than these VIE bad gone before u.s.
"Not all, guess" said one Of them, "for there's
| q good deal of difference in folks
"well," said lie, "all that know Is that INV
fatAer knew moro than my grand fuihcr, aud know
that know more than my father did, for Two had
chance to see great deal moro than he did,"
"Ha he ]" went around the whole storc.
"What are ycu laughing at" said he
Nothing" said s red-horei, ,ounsy gated young
man al mover kaowea y9ur father, but your grand
father must have been natural fesl according to
your statement" 0 Ea ag t
-WRIrrEs PRAYEas.--A correspondent from
Indiana senfs the following with appropriate avouch-
ings OF his truth "At the breaking of ground for
the commencement Of the Lynchburg and Tennessee
railroad. at Lynchturg, the Rev. j. E, by appoint
ment, acted as chaplain the occasion. At tn.
time appointed for prsyes, the chaplain raised his
bands, AID said: ale. US pray" In an instsnt all
hats were 6VEcd, and the Chaplain commenced, slowly
aud solannly, TO read very appropriate prayer.
which be Lad previously prepared. Daring the read
ing Of tie prsyer, "a old negro man, who had been
engaged with bis spade, resting WITH one foot on
the spsie, and lis arms tic handie looking insent-
ly in the chapains face. A. the csnclus;oa Of the
prayer. toe cid negro stragatenipg himself up, re-
marked audibly, .wtl, I reckon dat's d. fuss time
ds Lcrd Easever tea written 70 en- de- sa'j,ct of