Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-11-04
Glnuorpus.

INGENIOUS TEsT.-A Yankee in one
Of our New England towns, going into
the market to buy a mess of sausages,
held out link 10 Tiger, his dog. Tiger
rubbed his nose against them, as il to
smell bit, and instantly bristled up and
showed his dcntals; upon which his mas
ter dropped them like a hot potato.
whats the matter , demanded the
yender Of pork. DO you find fault with
my sausages 2
NO replied the Yankee, I've nothing
agin the sassngers only, dog won't eat
dog, that's all
The fellow who kissed the face of ma
mre SAYS, it didn't go half so well as The
busses of some of his lady friends.
To the generous mind the heaviest debt
is that of gratitude, when it is in our pow
er to repay 1t.
Il know every rock on the coast said
an Irish pilot as the ship gave heavy
bump, and be jabers that's one OF them,
sure.
Il 90 through my work. as the needle
said TO the boy. But not I'LL you're hard
pushed as the idle boy said 10 the need
lie.
That horse of yours said friend of
ours TO farmer, is very handsome.
Yes was the drawling reply, but he
lis--as-slow-as-cold molasses.
An English jury, in criminal case.
brought in this verdict-"Guiity, with
some litdc doubt as 10 whether he is tho
man."
"Let us lay no temptation in the path
of the young" as the frog SAID when he
popped his head under water on seeing
boy pick up stone.
Greatminds are charitable TO their bit.
terest enemies, aud can sympathise with
the lailngs of their fellow creatures. Is
is only the narrow-minded who make no
allowance for the faults OF others.
Fuss and Feathers is the name given
to a new style of ladies' bonnets just in
troduced among the fashionable circles.
An edilor--'oui Vest OF course--as he
was going courting one night, said he
was going TO press
Ifyou want TO feel about right, get into
pond of strawberries and cream, and
swim round about couple Of weeks. 1t
is great inyenlon--cream and slrawber-
ries. .. ...
30, father, give me ten cents | want 10
see the grisly bear--he weighs 1000 tons
and can see the whole of him for ten
cents ! .u
Bancroft in his eulogy on Gen. Jack
son, says-'Ile never died, but when
death came, the old hero showed him aside
and stepped into glory!
A young lady, whose name was Patty,
being addressed by a MIR. Cake, accept
ing him on condition he would change
his name, declaring she would never con-
sent TO be called "Patiy Coks."
Why, you are throwing stones at your
mothers COW !
Il know is, said a small ragged urclI-
in; out | mean 10 kill her; cause she
never gives nothin' out butiermiik no
how
Physicians rarely take medicine, law
yers seldom 90 10 law, and ministers steer
clear Of other persons churches. Editors
however, read all they can get hold Of.
Enough said.
What are you about 2 inquired To-
natic Of a cook, who was industriously
stripping the feathers from fowl. 'Dres.
sing chicken answered the cook. Il
should call that undressing, said tic chap
in reply.
Did you say that my brother jim didn't
know as much AZ Smiths yellow dog 2
No, said Smiths yellow dog knew
more than your brother JIm.'
Never either hauer, ,caress OF scnld your
wife before other people, especially before
When yon steal another mans hen, lie
your own by the leg. '-'
Get married. What il costs 10 sop
port one vice, viii keep SIX children.
The MiIleriles have further postponed
the final great conlagraiion 10 the oh Of
May nexL when lhey anticipate warm
weather.
Wood is The thing, afler all as tho
man with an oak leg saIG when lbe mad
dog bIi him. n1.
Whatsoever a man sowelh, that Shall
he also reap Then wl'ata b"Unlilnl
harvest OF old coats and brceches the ias'
Ior will reap one Of these days.
They must dress cool ia Indiana. A
young lady oa being asked if she intended
10 wear that great busde 10 church. said
that she d!dn't mean 10 wear anything