Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1854-05-03
Way 70 TX a Tale Bearer.
PROM THE ANNALS OF rHoerowx.


....s .. ... ....r b.. ga. - .a Er.r- .f. .s
81 dunno where here'd it, but know it's
true, experienced it long ago, | tOle Jones it'd
come out so.'' ,.. .....r... -. .......r- .-...+
"Why, uncle Josh, you don't pretend to say
that Miller's wife has run off with Bob Tape,
Yardstck's Clerk, do YOU" ... .f...s....
"Yes do too, hant it been the talk Of the
neighborhood for a year past, that Miller's wife
and that feller-Bob Tape-were leetle too
thickr" .,..... ....-.
"Well uncle JOSH" says neighbOr Brown, "I
don't recollect anybody saying anything about it
but you, and for my part l don't believe word
Of it." ....... .g .. .,.......-.
"Why, haint Millers wife gone," says uncle
Josh. .s.. .......t ........... .....,.
81 don't KNOWS she!" says Brown. ..,
"Because she is; went over to the store this
morning, the first thing, to see if Bob Tape was
about-he wasn't thar-they said he'd gone to
Boston on business for old Yardstek. o, OH!
says /, and then started off for Heeltaps shop,
we alters said how things would turn out. He
was out seein' me go to the shop, he came run
min and says he: "uncle Josh, they're gone, sure
enough! I've been over to old Nanny Gabbles,
and she sent her Suke over to Millers on pretence
of borrowin' some lard, but told Suke to look
around and see if Mller's wife wur about; by
Nebbynezer, Miller's wife wur gone. Marin
Gabbles couldn rest, so she sent back Suke, and
told her to ask the children where their Marin
was; Miller hearing Suke, ordered her to skoot,
C,Lo IoCt, boo, ;pS roof socf fha
as Squire Black says. But Heeltap swears and
know Mller's wife and Bob Tape have soped,
as they say in the papers," a.......,.... .aa
SWELL" says Brown, II am sorry it's true,
don't believe aword of it though and it is none
of my business, shall have nothing to say about
it." ....... ... ....r .-.. ..,.
Uncle Josh was one of those inordinate pests
which almost every village, town and hamlet in
the country is more or less accursed with. He
was great tall bony sharp nosed, grinning geni-
u.s. who being in possession of large farm, with
plenty of boys and girls to work it, did not do
anything but eat,sleep and lounge around, gath
erer Of scan mag, news and scandal monger, a
great guesser and strong suspicioner of every
body's motives and intentions, one fcourse, nev-
er imputed good motive or movement to any
body.
You've seen those wretches, male and female,
havn't you dear reader! Such people are great
nuisauces-half the discomforts of life are bred
by them; they contaminate and poison the air
they breath with their noisome breath, like the
odor of the Upas tree. Uncle Josh had annoy
ed many,.-he was the dread and disgust of seven
eights of the town he lived in. He caused more
quarrels, smutted more characters, and created
more ill. feelings between friends, neighbors and
acquantances than all else besides in the COM
munity of Frogtown. Uncle Josh was voted a
great bore by all the men, and sneaking, med
ding old granny by the women. So at last the
young women of the town did agree that~the very
next time uncle Josh carried. .concocted or circu-
lated any slanderous or otherwise mschievous sto-
ries, that they would duck him in the mill-race.
Now, Brown-old Mr.. Brown-was the very
untipoac of uncle Josh; he was always for taking
things by the smoothest handle. Mr.. Brown
never told tales, backbted, or slandered anybody;
everybody had a good word to say about Mr.
Brown, and Mr., Brown had a good word to say
about everybody. The gals tho't it prudent tc
give old Mr.. Brown an inkling of their plans ii
regard to the disposition they intended to make
of uncle Josh; the old man laughed and told then
to duck old Josh, and perhaps they would reform
him.
"Now, gals, said Mr.. Brown, "Uncle Josh has
this very day been at his dirty work. by this time
he has spread the news all over the town, thai
Miler's wife has gone off with Yardstick's clerk
don't believe single word Of this tale, and i
Mllcr's wife amt really gone off, Uncle JOSH
ought to be soused in the mill-race. .-.5... .t
Next morning Miller's wife came home; she
had been down to sister few miles off, to see
sick child; her husband had been away tending
law suit, in neighboring town; and SO Mlle
nor his wife knew nothing Of the report of he
eopement with Bob Tape until their return.
Miller was in rage but couldn't find out thu
author of the report Millers wife was deepl.
mortified that such a suspicion should arise of her
she had been making Bob Tape some new clothe
to 90 to Boston in, and here was the gist of Bo
and Miler's wfe's intimacy! There was grea
time about it; Miller swore like trooper, and hi
wife nearly cried her eyes out. ....
/ A few evenings afterwards, it being clear col
weather in October, Polly Piggins and Sail
Smith called to see Miler's wife land asked her t
join them in little party that some Of the neigh
boring women had got up that evening, for pal
tcular purpose, Miller's wife having not muc
to do that evening, her husband said sho might G
out spell ifshe chose. and went and learned tn
purport of the call-old Uncle Josh was going I
be ducked in the mill race! and Miller's wife, d'
guised as the rest, was to doit. When she hear
that uncle Josh had circulated the report of be
elopement, Mler's wife did not require muc
: coaxing to join the watering committee.