Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1854-01-25

bled voice in the crowd, proceeding
from one of Philista's friends ''neyeI
lspeak to woman in passion"
4 " fine that man one dollar for con
tempt of court, whoever he is 70 exclaim-
ed the Squire, as he stood upon tip-toe,
trying to catch the offender with his eye.
"I guess 'twarn't nothing but the wind, %
said Bates.
The Squire took his seat, put his pipe
in his mouth, and blew out long Whit
of smoke.
Order being restored, let the case
now proceed" he exclaimed.
Ike opened his case to the jury. He
said Philsta Filkins was maiden lady
of about forty some called her an old
maid, but that warn't so, not by several
years her teeth were as sound as nut,
and her hair as black as crow. She was
u nurse, and had probably given more
lobelia, pennyroyal, catnip and other ro OTIS
and herbs to the people of Puddleford
course, she was kind of peramrulary be-
| ing. (The Squire informed the jury that
peramrulury was legal word which he
would fully explain in his charge. -
That is, she was obliged to be out a
great deal, night and day, and in conse-
quence thereof, Charity Beadle had
slandered her, aud completely ruined
her reputation, and broken up her busi-
ness to the damage of ten dollars.
Bates told the Court that he had no
jurisdiction in an action of SANDER.
Longbow advised Bates not to repeat
the remark, as that was kind of con-
tempt
Some time had elapsed in settling pre-
liminaries, and at last the cause was
ready.
"We call Sonora Brown" roared out
Ike, at the top of his lungs.
"No you DON'T" replied the Squire
{" This court is adjourned for fifteen mi
nutes; all who need refreshment will find
it at the bar in the next room but don't
bring it in here it might be agin the
stutute."
And so tho Court adjourned for fifteen
minutes.
There was rush to the bar-room, and
old Stub Bulliphant rolled around Iiamong
his whiskey bottles like ship in storm
Almost every person drank some, iudging
from the remarks, to wet their whistle :
others 'to keep their stomachs easy some
to Filkins,' others 'to Beadle,' etc.
Court at last convened again.
Sonora Brown" roared out Ike,
ngain.
g Object !" exclaimed Sile no wit
ncss-hain't lived six months in the
State"
Squire Longbow slowly drew his pipe
from his mouth, and ixed his eyes on the
floor in deep thought for several minutes:
" Hain't lived six months in the State -
repeated he at last "ain't no resident OF
course, under our Constitution.
"And how in all created air:h would
you punish such person for perjury? l
should just like to know" continued Sile,
taking courage from the Squire's perplex-
ed state of mind, "our laws don't bind re-
sidents of other States"
" But it isn't certain Mrs. Brown will
lie, because she is nonresident" added
the Squire, cheering up little.
"Well. very we'll then" said Sile, ram
ming both hands into his breeches -pock-
cts very philosophically; Ego ahead, you
wish, subject to my objection. I'll just
appeal and blow this Court into fiddle
strings. This cause won't breathe three
times in the Circuit. We won't be rode
over; We know our rights, just. kinder
rather think"
eco it. SIe v' cried voice from the
crowd " stand up to your rights if you
bust"
"Silonce p exclaimed Squire Long
bow.
Ike had sat very quietly. inusmuch as
the Squire had been leaning in his favor
but Silc's last remark somewhat intini-
dated his honor.
i" May it please your honor" said Ike
rising eve claim that there is no proof
of Mrs. Browns resdency your honor
hain't got nothin' but Sile Bates say so,
and what's that good for in court Of
justice? wouldn't believe him as far
as you could swing a cat by the tail"
" I'm with you in that" cried another
voice.
" "Silence put that man out !'' roared
Longbow.
, But just as Ike was sitting down, an
ink stand was hurled at him by Sile,
which struck him on the shoulder, and
scattered its contents over the crowd
! Several missiles few back and forth the
Squire leaped over his table, crying out
at the top of his lungs:
&c In the name of the people Of the state
of --, James Longbow, Justice of
the Peace, duly elected and qualified, do
command you
When at last, order was restored, the
counsel took their seats, and the Squire
retired into his box again.
Sonora Brown was then called for the
third time. She was an old lady, with a
pinched up black bonnet, a very wide ruff
ae to her cap, through which the gray
hairs strayed. She sighed frequently and
heavily. She said she didn't know as she
knew anything worth tellin' on. She
didn't know anything about lawsuits,