The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1854-12-20
wooDsFIELD, MONROE COUNTY, OHIO DECEMBER 20, 1854
Doestick's Patent nedicias Again.


Doestick's Patent MediciGe Again.
My DEAR DocroR - Yon know | at
tended medical lectures half a winter, and
once assisted in getting crooked needle
out Of babys leg; SO understand per.
fectly well the theory and practice OF mod
icine. aud the doctor is perfectly legitimate
under the Prussian system.) By the in-
oessant study required in this establish
ment, l had became worn down 90 thin
that ! was obliged to rut an overooat on
to cast a adow-but accidentally hear
ing Of your balsam, | obtained quantity.
and, in obedience to the homeopathic
principle OF this Institution. took an ...in!
finitesimal" dose only; in four days l
measured one hundred aud eighty two
inches round the waist-could chop ele-
ven cords Of hickory wood in two hosrs
and a half; and OF bel, carried a yoke
Of oxen two miles aud quarter in my
left hand, my right being tied behind me;
and il any ons doubts the fact, the oxen
are still TO be seen.
'"Abont two weeks after this. had the
pleasure Of participating in gunpowdef
explosion, on which occasion my arms
and legs were scattered over the village,
| and my mangled remains pretty equally
distributed throughout the entire country.
Under these circumstances my life was
despaired of. and my classmates had
bought pine coffin, end borrowed whole
shirts to attend the faneYal in !; when the
invincible power of your four horse-pow-.
er balsam (Which happened to have in
my vest pockeD suddenly brought toge,h.
er the scattered pieces Of my body-col-
iected my limbs from the rural districts
put new life into my shattered frame. and
was restored uninjured toemy friends
with new set Of double teeth. have
preserved the label which enveloped the
bottle. and sewed it intothe seat Of my
paptaloons, and now bid grim death de-
fiance, for feel that sm henceforth un.
killable. and in fact [ am even now de-
signated the Great Western Archilles."
Yours, entirely,
SKI HY.
feel that after this, Mr.. editors, need
give you no more reports ofthird persons,
but will, nevertheless detail some of my
personal experience of the article.
caused come to be applied to the Washte.
nav Bank after its failure, and while the
ba!sam lasted the Bank redeemed its notes
with specie. The cork Of one of'the bot.
Ties dropped upon the head of . childless
widow. and in six weeks-she had young
and blooming husband. Administered
and sugar, aud that day he swindled bui
seven persons. and only gave two OF them
bad money 10 change. Gave few drops
gratis TO poor woman who was earning
a precarious substance by making cali
co shirts with q one-eyed needle, and the
next day she was discovered to be heir to
a large fortune. The Know Nothing can.
Edidate for Mayor OF this city has sentfol
a bottle. and il has entirely cured him o
a violent verbal Giarrhea. Gave some
to an uptown actor, and that night he
said damned but twenty. times. One
Of the daily papers got the next dose, anG
in the next edition but one there were ba
four editorial falsehoods, seven indecen
advertisements. and Two columns and Z
halt of home made foreign correspond
!. ence.'
i Caused fifteen drops to be given TO ths
I low comedian Of a Broadway theatre, anC
that night he was positively dressed more
like a man than a monkey-actually spoke
some lines ofthe auihor--made only ihres
insane attempts at puerile witticisms-
only twice went out Of his way to intro
4 duce some grossly indelicate lines into hi.
part, and for wonder lost so much o
his self.conceit that for full half hou
he did not believe himself the creates
comedian in the world. Gave some to {
newsboy, and he manufactured but three
!, fires, couple Of murders, and one horri
BILE railroad accident in the next thirty
. minutes. Put some on the Crystal Palace
and the same day the stock went from 2s
to a.. Our whole Empire City is entirely
changed by the miraculous power o.
! .Doesiicks Patent Self. Acting Four Horse
Power Balsam.' The gasis lighted OF
} the dark nights instead Of on the moon
}, light eyenings-there are no more high.
J way robberies in the streets, or il there are
, the offenders, when arrested, are instant
|. ly discharged by the police magistrate
No more building materials on the side
|, walk; no more midnight murders nc
!, more Sunday rows; no more dirty streets
), no more duels in Hobeken, and no more
lies in the newspapers. Broadway is swep
and garnished the NJ. P.'s are civil ane
1.-THE boys don't steal any more dogs. II
fact, so we'll content are we now with .oul
city, that we feel. as the Hibernian poe
so beautifully says:
..oh. if there be an Elysium on Earth,
II is this Iii is this. -
Fl Orders for my Balsam, accompanied B!
the money. will be immediately attended to
otherwise, not-ior my partner and lhav,
resolved TO sell for cash only, feeling a
did DR.. Young, who appropriately and feel
, ingly remarks 80 .t
5 "We take no notes on Time.
I Rr.s @. r. PHILANDER DoEsrlcKs, P. B. ND
i P. S.-Bull Dogge says have piled
l0p too strong, and that no one will believ
!. what he calls that humbug about the news