The North-Carolinian., 1854-03-25
Qnick on the TrtRgcr.

Quick on the Trigger.
'Ytou pleaseobserve," said old Mr. LambwclI
as he led through his school the other day.
"that the boys are required to display the ut
most attention 80 quesEfons and discipline and
in short time become divestcd of that most
annoying disposition to tease each other, in short
they settled down in all the gravity of
mature years, under the wholesome system
have introduced"
We at this moment. arrived in front of several
boys, who standing around a bucket of
water, and one had just charged his mouth with:
! the contents of tin cup, while the old gentle
man STOPPING to recover his pen from the floor,
when another boy passing behind, snapped his
| finger beneath the boys ear, causing him by a
! sudden start to eject the contents over the pcda-
gogue's bald pate. Stkrting upright, with face
and hair dripping, the master shouted:
''Who did that!"
The party unanimously cried out "Jim
Cum sir"
"Jim Gun YOU rascal what did Won do that
for?"
Jim, appalled, at the mischief he had done,
muttcred that it was not his fault, but Tow
Owen had snapped him.
This changed the direction of old Lambwcll's
wrath, and shaking his hand portentously over
Tom Owen, he asked him, 'did you snap CUM"
The cullRit, trembling with fear murmured,
eyes, sir, snapt Gun, but didn't know he
was loaded"
~~~~>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>~~>
lawyer in this city seated in his office
busy employed in studying out plea when
the door opened, and young, stout son of Erin
entered doffcd his hat and said that he desired
to take advice of "his honor" The lawyer
bade him sit down and inquired his business
''Shure," he replied, want divorce from
my wife Biddy.
The lawyer asked what was the trouble, but
Pat seemed 10th to tell.
''Does she not treat you we'll, docs she not
take care of your house. has she deserted YOU or
does she like any better than yoursclf?'
were inquiries made by the lawyer, who cndea-
vored for time in vain to pump out the
reason of the desire for divorce. At last,
weary of the investigation, the disciple of Coke
Informed his would be client that he could do
nothing for him without knowing all the facts
of the case.
."Wcll if must, I must' replied the hus-
band; shure there's little darlnt love better
| than Biddy!
The lawyer could hardly refrain from laugh
ter sufficiently to inform the Uibernian that the
law could not touch such case as his, and Fat
left with a countenance ''morc of sorrow than
of anyer"--Bos. Irar.
] Coon ESorGH TO BE TRrE.-The Lynn News
tells the following story OF an lncredulous young
man. whose father had promised before death
to hold 'spiritnaI communication" with him
The spirit of the gentleman, (whO, by the
| xav had been somewhat severe in matters of
discipline was called up, and held some
ycrsation with the boy. But the messages
we're not Mt all convincing, and the youth would
| not believe that his father had anything to do
with them.
"Wcll," said the medium, "what can your
| father do to remove your doubts?"
! "If he will perform some act which is charac-
ters,ic of him, and without any direction as to
what it shall be / shall believe in it,"
| VERY well, said the medium; 1--WE wait for
some manifestations from the spirit land"
| This was no sooner said, than Gas the story
goes table walked up to the youth, and,
without much ceremony, kicked him out Of the
room
"Hold on! stop him." cried the terrified
youth. That's the old man! / believe in the
rappings!"
Our hero has never since had desire to stir
up the old gentleman.
! ToBAcCo CHEwERs, BEwARE-Besides the
poison contained in the weed itself, many of our
tobacco chewers are absorbing into their sys
TEN an oxvde of lead the same which kills
! many painters, and paral5zcs others. Lead foil
/ is cheaper than tin foil ard some of those who
put up tobacco for Chewing, use the latter in
stead of the former. The counterfeit may be
known by its dark blue or blush color, whereas
tin foil is nearly white Tobacco chewers who
do not wish to absorb two poisons at once, will
do we'll to profit by this caution.