Columbia gazette., 1854-02-25

know a lisp ont"
"Well, then--if you must know i'll
slept with one of the likeliest of your
church members nearly half the way up"
Aunt Lizzy drew in long breath
shut up her snuff box, and put it in her
pocket, muttering to herself
s"The likeliest ofour church members.
I thought it was Susey B--likeliest,--
this comes Of being fattered--a trollop.
Well, one thing l know-'the way of
trarsgrcssors is hard;' but / hope you'll
never tell nobody ont, Squire; for sar-
tin as the world, if sich thing should
be known, our church would be scatter
ed abroad, like sheep without shep-
herd"
In few moments aunt Lizzy took
her departure, giving the Squire anoth-
er caution and a sly wink, as she said
good-bye-let me alone for secret.
It was not many days before Squire
P. received a very polite note from Par
son G., requesting him to attend meet
ing of the church, and many of the par
ish, at the south Conference room in Or
der to settle some difficulties with one
of the church members, who, in order
to clear up her character, requested
Squire P. to be present.
The Parson, who was very worthy
man, knew the frilty of some of the weak
sisters, as aunt Lizzy called them, and
as he was a particular friend of Squire
P.'s requested him in his note to say
nothing of it to bis vife.--But the
Squire took the hint, and telling his
wife that there was parish netting, re-
quested her to be ready by 2 o'clock.
and he would call for her.
Accordingly, the hour Of meeting
came-the whole village focked to the
room, which could not hold half Of them.
All eyes were alternately on the Squire
and Suscy B. Mrs. p stared, and Su-
soy looked as though she had been cry
ing a fortnight. The Parson, with sof-
tened tone, and in IS delicate a manner
as possible, stated the story about Susey
b. which ne observed was in everybody 5
mouth, and which he did not him
self believe a word of--Squirc P. being
called on to stand as witness-after
painting in lively colors the evils Of SLAM
der, with which their village had been
infested, and particularly the church,
called on aunt Lizzy, in presence of the
meeting, and before the church, to como
out and make acknowledgment for yio-
lating a Bible cath. Aunt l.ixzy's apol-
ocy was, that she only told Deacon
Snipes wife ont and she took an oath
that Sic wouldn't never tell nobody else
ont. Deacon Snipe's wife had, it ap-
pears, sworn Toothaker's sister never to
.ell nobody on':-and SO it went through
the whole church, ana thence through
the village.
The squire then acknowledged before
the whole meeting, that he had, as he
had told Aunt Lizzy, slept with a church
member, halt The way up to Boston, and
that he relieved her to be one Of the
likelest of their members, inasmuch as
she never would hear nor retail slander
All eyes wesc now alternately on Susey
3. and Squire P.'s wife; aunt Lizzy en-
joyed Z kind Of diabol;eal triumph,
which the Squire no sooner perceived
then he finished his sentence by declar-
ing tliat the church member to whom he
alluded, 'cas has hwCuL acite!'.
Amt L;zzy drew in her head under a
huge bonnet, as turtle does under his
shell, andmarched away into one corner
OF the room, like a dog that has been
killing sheep. The Squire as usual, burst
out into a fit of laughter, from which his
wife, Susey 3. and even the Parson,
could ROT refrain joining; and Parson G.
afterwards acknowledged that the Squire
had given a death blow to scandal in the
village, which all his preaching could
not have done.
STABILITY OF OUR UNloN.-Wc were
amused the other day by conversation
ola shrewd broker with political croak-
er, Who was prophesying that this gov
ernment could not possibly exist in its
form for ten years
'I'u bet my existence of it, was the
constant exclamation of the croaker.
every WE'LL" said the broker, "IV
not take a bet, but I'll make another
proposition. You own a considerable
quantity of U. S. stocks:"
"Yrs; all the money I have is invest
ed in that way replied the creaker.
:'Weh, IN the event Of this govern
saent breaking up, your stock would not
be worth red cent. and I will now par
chase at par. Is it bargain"
The indignant look with which the
croaker answered this question, showed
how insincere were his croakings about
the dissolution Of the Union, and the iu-
stability Of our government.