Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-08-24
YARIETY.

U AHlEI j..
WHenry Carey, cousins TO Queen Elk
aSeth, after having enjoyed her magesty' fa-
yor for several years, lost il in the following
J. manner: ~
A be vas walking one day, full Of
thought, insthe garden Of the palace, under
the queens window, she perceived him, and
aaid % him in ~ joculsr manner,
What does man think Of when lie is
thinking Of nothing1'
upon woman's promise, replied Carey.
wei done, cousin, answered Elizabeth
She retired, but did not forget Carey's an
susr. Some time after be solicited the hon.
oSafs AZ h6ssd promised y 70 him.
True, said she, but that was woman's
piomiss..
fu.rn RoaDs 10 TaAvEL.-sSsy, beg
ASS az these roads goes to MiltonT
ess'sssing boy -,B-b.both on em goes
Trav.-tW.ll, which is the quickest wayf
Boy-sB b-bout alike, BIB both on 'em
gets there b-b-bout the same tt.time oday
: Trav How far Il itT
Boy-rBout, four m m.milss
" Viva - WIZ oCSs A11'F
oY.-sT-tthey ain 't.nary one the best Ii
you take the right hand road and 60 about
N mile, you'll wish you was in tophet, and
IL yeu tFtturn back aud take the II left hand
one, By the time you have gone half nm.
mile, you'll wish you bad kspt on tie Other
y-Yvoad
rThe latest and most wonderful euro
effected by q patent medicine is the follow
ing: A 10y had swallowed silver dollar. -
None Of the faculty could deFise any alleyi.
alton, Whereupon an inventor Of patent med
~Jcines was sent for II is evident said he,
'thatso considerable q coin can never be
forced ~ any emetie known to science =
However, let him take this preparation and
catering consequences will be likely to ca.
sue An hour afterwards, the boy threw
up the dollar in small change, principally
Eve cent pieces
Nor At HoNE Mr. Bluster withinn
mo, he is out Of town said the servant
When can see hin2' i don't know have
yorS any special business with Dir Bluster?
Yes, there is a small bill have to settle -
WELL said the servant, I don't know vheth-
er he will return this week or not But
wish 70 pay the bill, as am to leave town
Immediately s0h ,you wish to pay him
some money be is up stairs, I'm thinkingj
/ will callthim. Please walk into the draw
ing room take chair, sir your hat il you
please; Mr. Blustcr will be'with you il a
moment
HAn amiaGle youth lamented, IN terms
Of sincere grief, the death of q most affection
ate parent His companion endearered to
consols him by the refectio, that he had al
ways Behaved. to the deceased, with duty, |
nv narent was living !: but now reeolect,
~ rain aad sorrow, many instances OF . 70.
!. ii. di.ence and neglect. for whlchf alas ~
4 TOO late to make a.tone-ment
nrAgreeable whom anxioasiy awaiting
Ara arrival Of friends in train OF cars that |
have been due for some time, TO have talk
ntiyc stranger entertain you with q chapter
Of horrible railroad accidents, at the-same
time ccolly specializing upon the chance Oh
disaster 10 the present train.
nrA good-natured friend Of ours lately
invited car-acquaintance 70 take some
.hiua.' The man took him at his word, for
he not only took the horn, but the gold re.
pealsd belonging to our friend, the less Oh
which be only discovered upon bis return
homo
man. expressed the beucyoleneo Of his heart
ii these words: Ct,
i cannot relish 4 happiness which no one
ptrtakes Of but myself
rT.Well., said bis honor to negro who
had been hauled up for stealing pullet
,vhat have you to say for yourselff sNofin,
INT dis hiss: was as crazy as bedbug
vhen stole dat az pullet, coz might hab
stole d. big rooster, and neber done IL
Dat shows sclusively dat was under delirlS
nm Tremendous
MA woman was giving evidence in a
..,ts;r c.se. when she was asked By the law
ver was the young woman virtuous prcvi'
cus A this Atari syirtuous.' Was she
1oh.ster sChaste2 she Was chasse about q
quarter Of mile.
nrFrom theranks of the bar have sprung
The noblest defenders Of ipnocence-the ear
liest aud most steadfast champions Of right
aud freedom. From the ranks Of the bar,
also, have sprung nearly every candidate
for the gallors since the world began.
TThe Hindo Law ;-4'Strike not even
With ! blossom, wife, though she be guilty
n : thousand faults The English law
wcald let ron hit Der again With VIA. the
blossom grows on.
TPleasaat- when your best beaver is
blowing away, to have some kind fsiond stop
Il b. putting his huge foot upon Il, thereby
erushing il into shapeless thing.
RPTko attorney who endorsed his brief
with he neil known catchwood--snc case,
but abnss the opposite counsel let out a
Roo1 deal Of bis human nature.
HeLook at the bright side Of everything;
itn he best for the mind, and is Just as
cheap . ths reverse.
fRWhy are seeds when soFn like gate
postal They are planted IN the earth to
propagate lprop gate.l
~ Hon can book be read tredl when
Il i bound in black and printed in black and
vhitel
%Apsrson vent into glove store afsr
daV. since. and asked for grey gloves with
a, atv white 10 them.
u There Is young gentleman 10 this
toSn 70 modest that be viii not embraces an
opportunity
rrff.r,fo;so promotes health, those Whs
80. /. a Ir|5. - :. lt1.~1 <1e,.lI ~ mon o.