Washington telegraph., 1854-03-22
A Leaf from, Fanny Fern.


Dear me, [ must 60 shopping. Shopping
Is q nuisance clerks are imper;inent: fe.
. mlnlty IS victimized, Miserable day. too ::
mud plastered an inch thick on the side walk.
Well, If We drop our skirts. gentlemen cry
u eh, if we lift them from the mud ,hev
level their eye-r glasses our ankles TLo
true definition of gentleman (not found in
Incomplete Webster) is biped who. of a
muddy day is perfectly oblivious Of ANYTHING
else but the shop signs
Nive la France, Ingenious Parisians,
send US over Your clever inventions-a chain
suspended from the girdle, at the end of
which is q golden hand to Clasp up the su-
perHuous length of our promenading robes ::
thus releasing our human digits and leaving
them at liberty to wrestle with rude Boreas
for the possession of the detestable little
sham bonnets, which the milliners persist in
hanging on to the backs of our necks.
Well. here We are at Call g. Ketchum's s
dry-goods store. Now comes the tug of
war let Jobs mantle fall on my feminine
shoulders.
"Have you blue silk ?''
1ards,ick. entirely ignorant of colars. af-
ter fifteen minutes snail-like research. (du-
ring which time l stand patiently on one
l-imb) hands me down silk that is as
green as hiuiSelf
Oh. away With these stupid masculine
clerks, and give US women, who know by
Intuition what we want. to the immense
saving of our lungs and leather, patience
and prunella
Here is Mr. Timothy Tapes establish
ment.
Have you lace collars lin points, Mr..
Tape ?'
Mr.. Tape looks beneGcient, and shows
me some rounded collars. | repeat my re-
quest in the most pointed manner for point
ed collars. Mr.. Tape replies with most
patrouizine grin
points is going out, Maam."
$50 am l.
Dear me, how tired my feet are New
erthcless | must have some ncrino. So I
opened the door of Nr. Henry Humbug's
drv-seods store. which is about half a mile
in length. and inquire for the desired article.
Young Yardsiicl directs ne to tie counter
at the extreme end of the store | com-
JGencc ny travels tbi;bazsaasd thFeugh q
iile Of gaping clerks. and arrive there just
ten minutes before tao. by my repeater.
when l am told that they are quitc out Of
merinos-.but won't Lyonese cloth 90 Just
as well ?" pulling down pile of the same
| rush out in high state of frenzy. and
taking refuge in the next-door neighbors. In
quire for some stockings. Whereupon the
clerk inquiries (of the wrong customer)
what price | wish to pay % Of course |
am not SO verdant as to be caught in that
trap and teeto.ally disgusted with the entire
institution of shopping, L drag my weary
limbs into -- new saloon to rest.
Bless me. what display Of gliding. and
gingerbread, what heap of mirrors =
There's more than one Fanny Fern in the
world found that out since | came in.
"W hat will you be pleased 10 have
J-u-l-i-u-s Caesar. look at that white
aproned waiter pulling ont his snuf-box and
tsking pinch CT sI:uff right over that bowl
Of white sugar that viii be handed in Eve
minutes to sweeten my tea. And there's
another combing his hair with a pocket
comb over that dish Of oysters.
What viii | have p Starve. but III
have nothing till can find cleaner place
than this to eat in.
Shade OF old Paul Pry Boston, what do
| hear, Two-(wei, | declare | am not
sure whether they are ladies or women.) |
don't understand these New York feminities.
At any rate, they've got on bonnets, and
are telling the waiter to bring them "a bot
tie Of AiaraSchino &c cara some sponge
cake, and some brandy" See them sip
the cordial in their glasses with the gusto Of
an old topper. See their eyes sparkle and
cheeks flush. and Just hear their emancipa-
ted little tongues go, Wonder if their
husbands know that they-but of course
they don't However it is six Of one and
half dozen of the other. They are pro-
baby turning down sherry eobblers and eat
ing oysters at Florence's; and their poor hun-
cry children. while their parents are dainty
izing. are coming home hungry from school
to eat fragment Of dinner picked up at
home by lazy set of servants.
Heigho. ladies slipping wine in public
saloon Pilgrim rock hide yourself un-
der ground Well. it is very shocking the
numbers Of married women who PASS their
time ruining their health in these saloons,
devouring Partisan confectionery and taint-
mo their children's blood with on appetite
for strong drink On, what i noekery of
home theirs must be. Heaven pity the
children reared there, left TO the chance
training of vicious hirelings,