Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-04-29
@Jm030B9

night.--shady rrove---two ioyers--eternal
fdelity--young lady rieh--yoHng man
poor--great obstscle--young man proud
very haudsome--very smart-sure 10
make a fOrlune-young lady's Father very
auorv--won't cOnSent--molher mercedes
no go--rich rval--yery ugly--very
hard hearted--lovers in q bad fiX--won't
part--die frst--moonlight again--garret
window opens--rope Iadder--hight--Pur-
sut--too acknowledgement man in a
rage-won't forgive them-disowns them
old man gets sick-sends for his daugh-
ter-al iorgiyen-all made up--old man
dies-young couple gets all The money
live in the old mansiOn--qulIe comiorta-
ble-haye liule chiIdrcn--much happiness.
The last instance Of modesty is that of
lady who refused to wear watch in her
bosom, because it had hands on it.
Bio ankles on female are an mdica-
ton Of good heart and strong under
standing. BE sure, if you get up coali-
ton with such an establishment, that you
will revel in clover, good sense, virtue,
and kindred two-story luxuries.
"Molhcr, don't you wish you had the
tree of evil in your garden :" "Why.
Josh, you surpent what DO you mean =
LAS moneys the root of all evil, if we had
the tree couldn't we get all Of the precious
stuff ?"
1t is dangerous TO speak the truth some-
times. Tell woman she is homely,
though she be as irighuul as an eleven
headed ogre, and the chances arc that you
will have an introduction TO the broom
stick and the hospital for broken heads.
Tell her she is pretty, and lie like sin,
and YOU are smothered in honey and sim
liar sacchariness besides an invitation 10
tea about seven times a week.
Sonny, do you know your IettersN
Yes sir, two Of en- Possible! what
are lhey!' Letter 90 and letter rip !
Smart boy; go TO the tub and wet your
hair; brain Of such fertility can't be
kept too moist
1t is astonishing how liquor promotes
independence. A Philadelphia old brick
who was lying day or two since in
very spiritual manner, was advised in a
friendly way TO economist as flour was
going up Let il go up said the old
fellow; Il kin git as high as flour kin,
any day
In PURSUIT OF Mrs. PARTNGToN.---
The following, from the Springfield Re.
publican, should be a caution to Mrs. Ruth
Parlington TO look to her laurels. Mrs.
Cubbldge IA poelical name) is after her:
Dear me = exclaimed Mrs. Cubbidgc, as
she returned from church last Sunday;
Dear me; this is an age of conventions.
When / was girl, Origins were in their
infancy. A forerunner used 10 turn tho
crank, and little monkey take the pen
MES. But now an organizer provides
over the estimate, while the deacon takes
up a constitution! Oh ! you should hear
the fellow perform one of his closing vo-
Iuptuanes, When he pulls out all the stop
pies, and plays on the pedar base, SO
loud as TO jar the conaagralion as they
pass out Of their respective places Of
abodement.'
A gentleman Of African extraction who
used 10 display its grinning combination
Of ivory and ebony about the sseels Of
Indianapolis, was asked by white gen.
tleman.
How old are you, Sam y
twenty-five massa,' was the reply.
but if yop counts up DC fun Use seen,
jest call me seventy-Gve.'
A neighbor Of ours informs us that
wood goes further when left out Of doors
than when housed up; some Of his hav.
ing gone upwards of quarter Of mile
in one night.
4 MODEL SHoEMAKER's BmL.-The
Chicago Commercial Advertiser says tho
following is said to be true copy of
shoemaker's bill received by a gentle
man IN a neighbonng town, whose fam.
lily consists OF four or five daughters:
Al DR.. 10 j s.
To souling Miss Mary, 81 90
10 stamping and welting Susan, O25
To binding and closing Ellen, OI3
TO putting a few stitches in Jane, 0 OG
What on earth ails these ere shirt but
tons, Wonder! JEST tie mint puts the
needle through EN- to sew IN on, they splits
and flies alI ~ bits"
Why, grandmother, them isn't buttons.
ihey's my PepermInls, au' Gow you've
been spliIa' EN-"
4 gentleman being asked whether he
was seriously ljured when steamboat
er exploded, is said 10 have replied that hs
was so used 10 being blown upby his wife
that mere steam had no effect on hum.
Shall | have your band!' said New
= IL ....-i-t.n In 2 knlIn ~ ,h1 lana