The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1854-09-14

~ u EeCOIuSu tldt uo hSSuneu SpoCIdl
authority on the next night either; but
about six o'clock the next morning, he
softly insinuated to this sleeping partner
that it was time TO get up.
And he added, when breakfast is
ready you may call me, but be sure not
to burn the toast
Breakfast and toast' said Mrs. Swal.
low, why, what do you meant
why, my dear. mean madam, that
| have begun my system
'And won't you get up tool?
yes, when breakfast is ready and my
stockings aired
Mrs. Swallow was about TO reply. but
she choosed herself. as she was ashamed
to say much to him On SO short an ao.
quaintance; but though in the present in.
stance she did precisely as she was bid,
she resolved in her heart that il was the
last time she would get up at six in the
morning to prepare breakfast.
At eight o'clock, everything being
ready, Mrs. Swallow called Mr.. Swallow
Breakfast is ready, Mr.. Swallow
Is the toast made!'
Yes
Not burned
Mo-
Are my stockings airedf
Yes
You'll do quoth Mr.. Swallow, and tc
breakfast he went having received the
Srevces of the blushing Mrs. Swallow 10
assist him in dressing.
The breakfast did not turn out to be
what it was cracked up for. The toast
was done a little too much, and the tea
wasn't done enough; the slop bowl was
at the wrong end of the tray, and there
were several crumbs on the carpet.
'The servant has not been here this
morning. observed Mrs. Swallow.
Servant returned Solomon, i dis.
charged her yesterday. You don't think
| can afford to keep servant and a wife
tool
The lady was again posed, and she
said nothing, but the day wore to its close
before she could bring herselfto the belief
that Mr.. Swallow had actually made use
OF the word servant and 'wite' in the
same sentence.
The next mornig at six o'clock Mr..
Sallow again informed his wife that it was
time to get up, coupling the remark by
by saying that in future she must save
him the trouble Of reminding her of so
necessary duty.
Mrs. Swallow, however benefited moth.
ing by this insinualion, for at that mo-
ment she either was, or pretended to be,
fast locked in the arms of Morpheus.
Don't you hear, Mrs. Swallowr-
quoth Solomon.
But alas! q slight consciousness was
the only response from Mrs. Swallow.
Now this was q ticklish point with
Solomon, but was prepared for it. 'WhaI
says my system on this headl' said he to
himself musingly. 1t says tina, lazy
wife who lies in bed in the morning may
be very properly reminded of her duty
by the judicious application of coercion
PIN And this magnificent idea had
scarcely crossed the threshold of his
brain pan. when he inserted the point oil
the pin in the sleeper's arm As might
be expected, the intended effect instantly
followed the cause, for the astonished
Mrs. Swallow sprang from the bed as
though she had been thrown from il by an
earthquake. But alas.her agility was too
strikingly manifested, for she not only all
but annihilated poor Solomon in rolling
over him, but she dashed his patent lever
from the nail which suspended it on the
wall, and broke the dial into thousand
pieces.
'What a dreadful dream calculated
Mrs. Swallow, pressing her left hand on
the wounded arm.
What dreadful reality shouted Mr.
Swallow, contemplating the frail ruins oI
his demolished time piece.
Here we passed over the interval be-
tween this occurrence and the time when
the happy pair in question were seated
at breakfast.
Now, Mrs. Swallow said Solomon
seeing that can't awaken TO call you
in the morning, or eat burnt toast, OF
drink raw tea, etc., it is time | should be-
gin to instruct you in your duties
And what are those, Mr.. SwallowF
BE silent, madam, il you please; no
to talk, but to listen, is one of the mos
important Of them
proceed sir
And Mr.. Swallow looking daggers q
her for second interruption, proceeded
From six to eight, you are to get up
dress quietly, so as to create no disturb
ance, light fire, air clothing and stockings
sweep rooms, prepare breakfast, and an
nounce the perfection thereof. Eight to
ten, wash tea things, make beds, rub fur
niture and clean windows. Ten to twelve
20 to market and prepare dinner, twelve
10 two to devote to dish washing, sweep
ing and rubbing furniture. Two to six
spinniug, mendiog and darning stockings
Seven, iep, From that time ill nins,