davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25

Forensic FuN.-Thc New Orleans Plea.
yune is n bright mirror, rejecting for our
mirth all the fun and frolic eliminated around
it. ave have heard in our day of legal
bubbles" says that witty journal. "but Il
Philadelphia lawyer can beat the follow.
ing, lately argued to jury in this city, he
can take our hat, aye, and our corduroys.--
The prisoner is on trial for entering house
in the night time with intent to steal.
The testimony was SO clear that he had
made an opening sufficiently large to admit
the upper part of his body, and through
which he protrudcd himself about half way,
and stretching out his arm committed tho
theft
Mr.. Obfusticate Brief addresses the jury.
"What an outrage" Cooking Mortified,
and with outstrctchcd and trembling arms,)
81 repeat, what an outrage upon your intel.
lgcncc and your common sense is it for tho
States attorney to ask at your hands tho
conviction Of my licnt on such testimony
The law is against entering housc--and
can man he said to enter q house, when
only onc.half of his body is in and the other
half ont! Gentlemen look to the Divine
Law on this point. God commanded Adam
and Eve not to cat the applo---i. O., the whole
of the apple, And nll the commentators
agree that il they had only eaten one half.
they, would not have been expelled from
the blooming garden of Eden" H
The jury brought verdict Of "guilty" aa
to one-halfof his body from the waist up,
and mot guilty us to the other half. -
The Judge sentenced the guilty half 10
one years imprisonment, leaving II TO tho
prisoners option TO have the innocent half
cut oil, or take IL along with him
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25
An Arab Stscd.

here was one Of our rides which ! never
2all to mind without leap of the heart
The noble red stallion which | usually
mounted, had not forgotten the plains of Dar
Fur, where lac w., bred, and whenever we
came upon the boundlcss level extending
southward from the town, his wild blood
was aroused, lie pricked up his cars,
ncighcd as grandly as the war horse Of job,
champcd furiousiy against the restraining
bit, and ever and anon cast glance of his
large, brilliant eye backward at me, half in
wonder, half s-orn, that | did not feel the
same desire The truth is, | was tingling
from head to foot with equal excitement, but
Dr. Reitz was a thorough Englishman in his
passion for trotting, and was ycXed whenever
! rode at any other pace. Once, however,
the sky was 50 blue, the morning air was so
cool and fresh and the blood so lively in my
veins, that answered the fierce questioning
of Sultan's eye with an involuntary shout,
pressed my knees against his sides, and gave
him the rein. OMcrcury. what rush fol.
lowed. We cut the air Ike the whizziug ar
row of Saracen crossbow Sultan stretched
out, until his powerful neck was almost on a
level with his back, and the glorious rhymth
of his hoofS was accompanied by so little
sense of effort, that it seemed but the throb-
bing Of his heart, keeping time with my own.
His course was MS straight as a sunbeam,
swcrying not hairs breadth to the right or
left, but forward into the freedom Of the De-
sert Neck and neck with him carcercd the
Consul's milk-whitc stallion, and ] was so
lost in the divine excitement of our speed,
that an hour had passed before ! was cool
Ia
Consul finally called out ts me to stop, and !
complied, sharing the savage resistance of
Sultan, who neighcd and plunged with great
cr ardor than at the start. The mnarcts of
knartoam had long since disappeared; we
were in the centre Of a dcsolatc, sandy
plain, broken here and there by clumps of
stuntcd mimosas -arcary landscape, but glo.
riiicd by the sunshine and the delicious air
Werodc several miles on the returning track
before we met the pursuing attendants, who
had urged their dromcdarcs into gallop,
and were sailing after us like flock of os-
trichcs. s.--Bdyard Taylor.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25
Sketch of SuWaTOyv.

The most able military commander that
Russia has produced was in person misera-
bly, thin, and five feet one inch in height
large mouth, pug nose, eyes commonly
half shut, fop, gray side locks, brought over
the top of his crown, and small, unpowdcr.
ed queue, the whole surmountcd by three
corncrcd felt hat ornamented with green
fringe, composed the "hcad and frol.t' Of
Field-Marshal Surwarow; but his eyes,
when open, were piercing, and in battle they
were said to be terriiically expressive. When
anything said or done displeased him, wavy
play of his deeply wrinkled forehead bctray-
ed, or rather expressed his disapproval. lie
had philosophical contempt for dress, and
might often be seen drilling his men in his
shirt sleeves 1t was only during the sever
est weather that he wore cloth, his outer gar
ment5 being usually of white serge turned
up with green. These were the most indif.
ferently made. as were his large, ,Scoarscly
creased, slouching boots one of which he
very commonly dispensed with, leaving his
knecband unbuttoncd, and his stocking about
his heel. huge sabre and a single order
completed his ordinary costume; but on
grand occasions, his ficld-marshal's uniform
was covered with badges, and he was fond Of
telling where and how he had won them
He often arose at midnight, and welcomed
the first soldier he saw moving with picrc.
ing imitation of the growing of cock, in
compliment to his early rising. It is said
that in the first Polish war, knowing spy
was in the camp, he issued orders for an at
tack at cock-crow, and the enemy expecting
it in the morning, were cut to pieces at nine
at night; Surwarow having turned out the
troops an hour before by his wcll.known
cry. The evening before the storming of
lGmail, he informed his columns; "To.mor-
row morning, an hour before daybrcak, I
mean to get up. shall then dress and wash
myself, say my prayers, and then give ono
good cock-crow and capture Ismail" When
Scgur asked him if he never took off his
clothes at night, he Piled No! when get
lazy and want to have comfortable sleep, I
generally take off one spur" Buckets of
cold water were thrown over him before he
was dressed, and his table was served at 7
or s o'clock, with sandwiches and various
messcs which Duboscage describes as ''lcs
ragouts Kosaks dctcstables;" to which men
paid the ''mouth honor" which they would
iain deny, but dared not, lest Suwarow shod
consider them cifeminatc. lie had been
very sickly in his youth, but by spare diet
and cold bathing, had strengthened and har.
dcncd himself into tirst-ratc condition.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25
SpOilt nv Ritchcs.

People grow covctous by degrees. We
have neighbor who was once benevolent
but he was poor then. He could not dc
much for the needy, but he was glad to dc
what heIcould. Prosperity has crowned his
efforts, he is quite wealthy, but with his
wealth he has become covetous. Now, it is
hard for him to give. lie cings to his mon.
ey as if it was his life. Not long since, q
widow of his acquaintance, by hard labor
had collected money enough as she supposed
to buy barrel of flour, and proceeded to the
gentlcman's store, to buy. But flour had
that week advanced 25 cents.
"Can you not sell me barrel for the
money! she asked.
"We sell our flour for full price," was the
reply.
"Will you trust me? ~
"We can sell our flour for cash"
She went away, and the next day, with the
additional twenty-five cents returned again
But the Hour had advanced twenty-five cents
more.
"llcrc Is the money Mir; will you
send me upa barrel of flour to-dayg we are
out entirely"
"No. We must have twenty-five cents
more"
"You said yesterday that was the price
"Flour has since advanced twenty five
cents per barrel"
"Will you trust me twenty five cents"
"No. we sell for cash"
She got no flour. The widows family
might starvc before he would sell n shilling
less than the highest market price. Riches
had destroyed his soul. Nornirg Star.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25

The distinctive pcculiaritics ofthc Amcri
canizcd European are thus cleverly chit" by
Oliver Wendell Holmes, in recent lectur,
before the Cambridge Lyceum:
"ilow do the New Englandcrs, of English
stock, compare with the English now?-
Englshmen are rcdder and roundcr in the
face, their hair is crispcr, their teeth winter
their skin coarscr and more porous, they
walk more briskly, are moist warm, jolly
The New Englandcr, has straight hair, finer
skin, sallow complexion, face long and sharp,
teeth questionable, speech slow. Martincau
Marryatt, DIR. Knott, Punch in caricaturc,
give as many of our pcculiarities as possible
But the English see us through the medium
Of insular prcudice-thc conccit of their
little island, which might be stirred into the
Mississippi, and settled before it reached the
Balizc. But our own authors draw the Yam
kce lean and sallow. The condition of Am.
crican life reduces our vitality from the Eng
lish standard. We have, first, the effect
Of climate on complexion; secondly, on hair,
thirdly, on the teeth and bones. We have
reached this last stage. The form of our
bones is undergoing change. Scientific
testimony shows uncquivocally that the jaw
bone is narrowing crowding the teeth, lcav.
ing room for fourteen instead of sixteen, and
rendering it imperative for every child to
lose two teeth from each jaw to prevent
crowding and decay"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25
A Puzzled Yankee.

The following extract Of letter from a
Yankee correspondent Of the Galveston
Necs, is highly amusing
Well, put up with a first rate, good ma.
tured fellow, that met At billiard table
! went in and was INTRODUCED 10 his wife, u
fine, fat woman-looked as though she lived
on latin, her face was so full Of fun After
while-aiter We had talked about nv girl,
and about the weather, in came three or
four children, lailin and skippin as merry as
crckcts--Thsre was no candle lit, but |
could See they were fine lookn fellows, and
| started for my saddle bags, in which put
a LOT of sugar candy for the children as
vent along.
Come here, said |, you little rogue,
! come here and tell Inc what your name is.
The oldest one came TO Inc and says my
name is Peter Smith
And what's your name, sir:'
Bob Smith
The next said his name was Eil Smith,
and the fourth said his name was Tommy
Smith. gave 'em some sugar, and old
Mrs Smith was so tickcd that she laughed
all the time Mr. Smith looked on, but did
mt say much.
why says Mrs. Smith, / would not
take a good deal for them four boys, i'll had
'em-thcy an so beautiful and sprighty.'
no. said she, latin, Il set good deal on
EN-, but we spoil en- too much
no, no, said |, they're real well bcha-
we'd children and by gracious says !, pre-.
tcndin to be startled by striking rcsem-
! bance between the boys and the father, and
| looked at Mr.. smith never did see any
| thing equal to it, says your own eyes !;
mouth, forehead, and a perfect picture of
hair, SIR tapping the oldcs, on the pate.
thought Mrs Smith would have died laiin
at that her arms fell down by her side, and
she shook the whole house latin.
DO you think so Col Jones?' said she,
. looking towards Mr.. Smith, and ! thought
she'd go off in a fit.
Yes says /, 4 do really
'lla, ha, hawr says Mr., Smith, kind o
half latin, you are too hard on me with
your jokes.
aint jokin at all, says I, 'shey are hand
some children, and do look wonderfully like
you
Just then gal brought light in, and I'll
be darncd if the little brats didn't turn ont
to BE niggers-cycry one Of EN-. and their
hair was as curly as the blackest niggcrs .
Mr. and Mrs Smith never had any children,
and they sort Of pctted them niggers as play
things.
Incyer ftlt as streaked as ! did when I
found out how things stood. If | hadn't
kissed the nasty things, could a got over
it; but kissin' 'em showed was in earnest,
though was soft soapen' 'cn all the time.
How to get over the scrape, didn't know.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25

Boar PROPELLED ny GALvANIc PowER.-A
correspondent of the Boston Telegraph writ
ing from Worcester, gives the following ac-
count of new motor applied to sailing yes.
sells.
"I was invited to take a sail in boat pro-
PEELED by galvanic power, on charming lit
tie lake near by It will accommodate four
or five persons, and is built steamboat fash
ioncd, with paddlc-whecs each side, and
wheel houses painted black. In the centre
is the machinery, with galvanic batteries
Within the coils of wire two large magnets
vibratc, which are attached to the working
beam. There is metallic button near the
rudder, which, when turned, connects the
batteries, AMI sets the machinery in motion.
The boat is stopped by simply turning the
button in an opposite direction, and thus dis
connecting the wires. Near to the shaft
there is very skiful contrivance for shut
ing off the galvanic fluid from one arm of
the beam, that 1t may act instantly upon the
other side. The boat and machinery were
constructed by John s. Gustiz, who is the
Chief Engineer of Mcssrs. Washburn & Co. s
wire works, lie has devoted years of study
and expended thousands Of dollars in devcl-
oping and applying power and has surpassed
any other person in applying the power at
the smallest cost For twenty-five cents
worth of acids the Iboat will run ten hours
without stopping. Mr.. Gustiz intents soon
to buda larger boat, and to make improve
mcnts upon his engine"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25
WHAT LIVE FOR.
BH g. LINIUS BANKS.

] live for those who love me,
Whose hearts are kind and true;
For the heaven that smiles above Inc,
And awaits my spirit too.
For all human ties that bind me;
For the task that God assigned me;
For the bright hopes left behind me,
And the good that ! can do.
l love TO learn their story
Who'vc suffered for my sake;
To emulate their glory,
And follow in their wake;
Bards, patriots, martyrs, sagcs,
The noble of all ages,
Whose deeds crowd histoiy's pages,
And Times great volume make.
live to hold communion
With all that is divine;
TO feel where is a union
'Twixt Natures heart and mine;
To profit by allliction,
Reap truth from fields Of fiction,
Grow wiser from conviction,
And fulfil each grand design.
! live to hail that season
BY gifted minds iorctold,
When men shall live by reason,
And not alone by gold
When man to man united,
And every wrong thing rightcd,
The whole world shall be lighted
As Eden was Of old.
| live for those who love me;
For those who knew me true;
For the heaven that smiles above me,
And awaits my spirit too.
For the cause that lacks assistance,
For the wrong that needs resistance,
For the future in the distance,
And the good that can do.
GnicerSity Mag
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25

l..
,oro Rovs ,,,a,a ,ra,a Nv 10 ia,I une. We
have gr,dnallv crown sc,rce ia ,,o,. -
is hardlya Boy left. As we walk through
the streets we resd in shop windows UNov
Wanted" In word, everybody wants a
Boy.
Now, in view ofthis grea, scarcity of Boys,
what are we to dos Whst shall we do for
substitute, to light our fires. sweep our
offices, and run our crrandsy
The other day a little fellow about four
teen years of age, (begging his pardon, we
took him for a bow applicd TO us for stu
alton
what can YOU do :" we in1uireJ
~ little Of almost everything" WAS tho
reply.
"Arc YOU quick nj your crrauds.r
swell, sir, / do not much like to do er-
rands." ~
Can you sweep and dust well :"
"Why, sir, young men don't sweep any
| nowadays. The women-folks have inonop-
olized that branch OF the business. 1t
ISN'T
lie was gong to say, sweeping isn't gen
teel but he hesitated to state his convic-
ton.
"ilow Will you make yourself useful :"
"Why, III sit in the office and answer
questions when YOU are out"
"And how mucb do Won ask for ,biS cor.
vice ~
an the neiebborbood sir Of three dol
lars"
.'In the npiphhorboodp"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25
Hood on Ducllin-.

Tom Hood describes an intended due,
which was prevented by amicable arrange
ment made upon the ground. The partie
MIR. BrsIy and Mr.. Clay-riyals for the at
fectlons OF Miss Lucy Bell, find it necessary
to appeal to AIMS
But first they found friend apiece,
This pleasant thought to give
That when they both were dead, they,
have
Two second" yet to live.
To measure out the ground, not lost
The seconds next iOrebore,
And having taken one rash step,
They teok dozen more.
They next prepared each pistol pan,
Against the deadly strife,
by putting in the prime of death,
Against the prime Of life,
Now all was ready for the foes;
But when they took their stands,
Fear made them tremble SO they found
They both were shaking hands,"
Said Mr.. C. to Mr. b.,
'llcre one Of US must fall,
And, like St Pauls Cathedral now,
BE doomed to have "ball."
do confess did attach
Misconduct toyour name;
If | Withdraw the charge, will then
Your "ramrod," TO the same ~
Said Mr. Il. 4" do agree -"
But think Of llonors courts
If we be of without shot,
There will be strange reports"
But look the morning now is bright,
Though cloudy it begun;
Why can't We aim above, as if
We had "callcd out the sum-
So up into the harmless air
Their bullets they did send
And may all other ducls have
An "upshot' in the end.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25

The n. York correspondent of the Charles.
ton News relates very extraordinary in
cidcnt connected with the loss of the Arctic,
and which is not generally known, as fol-
lows: A young gentleman, lately residing
in this city, fell through a hatchway in his
fathers store some time last summer, and
was severely injured, one side of his body
becoming completely paralyzcd; and after n
while he entirely lost the facility of speech.
In this position he remained until the 9th
ult--about the time of the accident to the
Arctic, on board of which steamer it was
known that the young mans father was n
passcnger-when he suddenly started up in
his bed and exclaimed, to the surprise Of all
present "My father is drowning" fell back
upon his pillow and died. 1t was the first
time he had spoken for months, and it was
the last forever.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25

Beautiful is the love, and sweet the kiss
of sister, but if you haven't a sister han
dy, try your cousin-it isn't much worse.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25

Martin Van Buren, is at Ncvay, Switzer-
land, and has actually written two or three
hundred pages of his life.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25

"What will you leave me in your willt"
said lady to an lrishman. lie very cooly
answered, "lhc wide world, my darlint."
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25
The following old dish of rhyme on tho
weather, has bEen styled "Shcrdcns' Rhy.
ming Calendar:"

january snowy
February fowy,
March blowy,
April showcry,
May flowery,
juno bowery,
July moppy,
August croppy
September poppy,
October breezy,
November wheezy,
December freely"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1854-11-25
1854, NJ. B. BRISTOL, 1854.
Forwarding and Commission
OTTAWA, ILLINOIS
AND DRESS MAKING.

Cash paid for all kinds Of Produce at the Cush
man Ware House, Main Canal.
Nav 1874
The Weekly comet. [volume] (Baton Rouge, La.) 1853-1855, 1854-09-24

PRE-EMPTioN RleHTs IN KAN
sAs AND NEBnAsKA.-Attoruoy Cen
eral Gushing has lately given an opin-
ion on presumption rights in Kansas
and Nebraska. He holds that the
act Of Congress gives presumption on
ly in such Of the lands ceded by the
Indians as are not required first to be
offered at public sale; that the lands
ceded under the condition of being
first offered at public sale are no more
opened to pre-emption by act Of Con-
gress than was the military reserva-
ton Of Fort 1eavenworth; that those
lands crnnot be taken up by settlers
undo" claim Of presumption !; and
that such claims will be void in law,
and confer no right on which to de-
mand a patent from the Commissioner
Of public. Lands; moreover, it will be
the duty of the President to maintain
by force the plighted faith of the Uni
d States in this matter.
The Weekly comet. [volume] (Baton Rouge, La.) 1853-1855, 1854-09-24

MoNr BLANC ON FlRE.-Tn letter
from Chamouni, given in the Savoy
Gazette, we read
A new ascent Of Mont Blanc has
just taken place, having been accom-
plished by Mr.. Blackwell, a young
Englishman, twenty-five years Of age.
During the ascent Mr.. Blackwell OBJ
served a rather singular phenomenon.
In the night of tho 10th, after II
o'clock, guide having come out from
the cabin of Grand Mulets, saw the
ridges Of this mountain cluster all on
fire. He Immediately communicated
what he had observed to bis compan-
ions, who all wished to assure them
selves of the fact, and they then saw
that through the electricity generated
by the tempest, all the rocks of the
Grand Mulets were illuminated
They found the same phenomenon on
their own persons When they raised
their arms their fingers became phos-
phorescent."
The Weekly comet. [volume] (Baton Rouge, La.) 1853-1855, 1854-09-24

An EprroE SODA piece of poet
ry, purporhng to have been written by
a lady, was published in the St. Louis
Herald few days since, which proves
to be an acrosstic. The first letters
Of the lines compose the sentence
Some Editors are Asses" It seems
that some young gentleman, Of poeti-
cal genius, sent contribution to the
Herald, the receipt Of which was ac-
knowledged in line Or two, the edi-
tor stating, however, that he was bet
ter pleased with first persual than
second, insinuatiDg that he thought
that the writer was guilty Of a .plagar
ism. In revenge, the same writer
wrote the acrosstic, which was publish
ed with complimentary and hattering
endorsement.
The Weekly comet. [volume] (Baton Rouge, La.) 1853-1855, 1854-09-24

SINGULAR LAWN the earyl
part of the fourteenth century, during
the reign of Philip ". of France there
was law that no duke count or bar
on, possessing q territorial manor of
six thous and livres. should have more
than four robes year, and their wives
as many; prelates and knights were
confined to two; an esquires two a
bachelor one, and every woman in the
land, whether married or single, who
had less than two thousand liyres
year, inland, one. No citizens wife
was permitted to have carriage, or be
lighted home at night with wax light
neither she or her husband were al
lowed to wear costly furs Or gold, or
previous stones, or crowns Of gold or
silver.
The Weekly comet. [volume] (Baton Rouge, La.) 1853-1855, 1854-09-24

The Grand Lodge of the United
States of the Independent order of
Odd-Fellows, now in session at Balti-
more, adopted the new form of con-
stitution, submitted last year, and
which has been the principal subject
under consideration during the present
session. Prior to its adoption the
form submitted underwent sue h
amendment as to make it acceptable
almost to the entire body.
The Weekly comet. [volume] (Baton Rouge, La.) 1853-1855, 1854-09-24

OFFICE OF CHIEF OF Police NOT
ABoLlsHED.-It gratifes us to state
that Judge Lea this morning render
ed decision in the quo aDarranto
case, in which he states the Board of
Police had no power to abolish the
office Of Chief Of Police, and that con-
sequently Mr.. James is still the in
cumbent, and entitled to all the rights,
privileges and authority appertaining
to the office. As we shall publish the
decision in full in our morning paper,
we will not now stop to give the
grounds.-Picayu,1e 21st.
The Weekly comet. [volume] (Baton Rouge, La.) 1853-1855, 1854-09-24

GREAT WILL Casa suit is now
being tried in Piketon, Ohio. on peti-
ton to set aside the will Of James
Davis, on the account of incompetency
Of mind in the testator. The value
If the estate in controversy in $780,
600, Among tho counsel are Henery
Stausbury and Thomas Ewing.