Smyrna times., 1854-07-26
AuCtiOneer in California.

The reporter of the san Francisco .Neos
furnishes that papar with the tllloWing report
of speech made by Caliiorn:G Auctoneer:
"Ladies and gentlemen, ! now have the
honor OF putting up fine pocket handkc rchief:
yard wide, yard long, aid almost ward
thick; one half cotton, and t'othcr half cotton,
too; beautifully printed with stars and strips
on one SIDE, and the stripes and stars on t'othcr;
1t will wipe dust from the eyes 50 completely
Is to be death to deMa gegucs a.Il i.4ukc polt g
as bad business as printing pa pcrs; It's great
length, breadth and thickness, tc.cther with
its dark color will enable it to hide dirt, ard
never need washing; going at ore dollar -
seventy-tive cents fifty cents. twenty-five
cents !-one bit! Nobody wti... it Oh!
thank you, sir
Next, gentlemen, for the laIi- won't be
pcrQitted to bid on this articie,ts % real, simon
pure, tempered, highly -poi.sL-d, keen-cdgcd.
ohclIcld razor; Iran i'IE.in Il ~ never open
cd before TO suE-}i -lt, moonlight, STARLIGHT.
daylight, or g;is-!ieht, sharp cnoilh 20 shave a
lawyer, or cut u disagrcudb.c acli. .tance. or
poor relation; han,tc Of bucn-.urn: with all
the rlVctS but the two al the cnu,, u 3t,.c oolG
Who viii give two dollars one dol. r. half a
dollar Why, ye long-bCaricd, art. faced.
reprobates, with rot room enough Oh yonr phiz-
zes for Chinese wonan 70 Kiss. /. cf'rum
You Il bargain at half u dollar! N,i / will
throw in this strap at hall u dollar !--ralgr and
sirdp-aEcccnt patent; two riba u;,i. If Will
sharpen the city attorney; al for lour .ts:and
piece Of soap-sWeetCr than ross: fathers
better than schoOi-lIuat4r; al,. sru..l. c.ouoh
to wash out all the STAINS from a 4 ,l,i,,rnia
politicians countenancc, all tor 1our Jjts:-
Why, you have only to put the raZor-y,rl, and
soap under your pillow at night to wake up
III the morning clean shaved won't any bodv
give two bits, then, ior the lot knew Would
SELF EN-.
"Nent, ladies and gentlemen. offer three
pair socks, hose, stockings or half hose. inst as
you've mind to call them. Knit bva machine
made on purpose, out OF Gotten wool the man
that buys these will be enabled 10 walk iii he
gets tired; AID, providing his boots are .i,h
enough, need ut have any cUrrs; the lcrs are
as long as bills against the corporation. and as
thick as the heaGs OF the members OF icrisL
ture; WHO wants EN- at one half dollar -
thank-ce, madam, dollar!
Next, | offer you pair of boots: ite.1. es-
peciaIly for San Frncisco, with heels Ionr
enough 10 raise man up to the Ioadley grades.
and nails to insure against beirg carried over
by land-sIde; legs WIDE enough to carry tive
revolvors and bowie kmile and the uD5cr; If
the very best othorse leather A man in these
boots can move about as easy as the State Can
ital; who says twenty dollars! All the tax
payers ought to buy pair, to kick the council
with everybody ought to have pair to kick
the Legislature with-and they Will be found
ofassistance in kicking the bucket; especially
if fsomebody should kick at being kicked-ten
dolrs for legs, uppers and soles! while souls.
and miserable souls at that, are bringing twenty
thousand dollars in Sacramento! ten dollars!
ten dollars gone at ten dollars!
"NeXt Is something that you ought to have
gentlemen; a lot Of good gallowscs,-some-
times called susFenders. | knew that some of
you will after a while be furnished at the Stats
expense, but you can't tell which one, so buv
where they're cheap all that deserve hanging
are not supplied with a gallows, if so there
would be nobody TO make laws, condemn crimi-
mails, or hang culprits, until new election:
made ofpure gum clastic-stretch like a iudoe's
conscience,-and last as long as a California
othce-holder VIII steal; buckles of pure iron.
and warrentd to hold so tight that no mans
wife can rob him Of the breeches are. in short.
as strong, good, perfect, as etfectual, and
as bona .ide as the ordnance against Chinese
shops on Dupont strcet-gone at twenty-five
cents"