Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1854-11-13
Barnu1n's Speech on Humbugs.

"
But no humbug IS great without truth
the bottom. The wolly horse was real
ty. He was really born with woody Goa
bought him IN Cincinnati for $500 an
sent him on TO Connecticut, bat for a Ion
time | doubted what should do with him
and feared that be would die on my hands
Just at this time, in le49, Col Fremon
and his party were reported to have beer
lost among the Rocky Mountains til,
public were greatly excited, but shortly
news came that he was safe. Now came til,
chance for the woolly horse. 1t was dul,
announced, that after three days chase up
OH the boz ders of the River Gla, all ami
NAL had been captured BY the Quarter
master Of Col. Frsmont's party who par
took in a singular degree Of the nature o
the buffalo, antelope and camel. Tbi
story was 50 true that | was myself the
Quarter master who captured him and |
charged quarter for the sight. The pie
ture outside the exhibition depicted the
animal as jumping over ledge Of rocks
now ii the animal had really leaped DIS
shown in the picture, he must have passed
over space Of five miles. To have be-
lieved that he could have survived such a
Heap, would have been the grosset hum
bug.
But Col. Burton who understands no
humbug but his own, arrested my scheme.
and prescribed me for obtaining money on
false pfetenses, as the horse was hot what
it protested 10 be but think wrongly, as
the people who saw It, were satisfied, and
they got the worth of their money.
Now the scientific humbug should know
the precise moment to act as | did, or the
world would never have been blessed with
Il sight of the woolly horse.
W hen the wooliy horse arrived from
Connecticut. he was put in a stable near
LoveJoys Ho:el, one of the boarders who
came to see him, recognized him as an an
lmal he had seen at Bridgeport. Good
heavens - he cried, II have seen thai
animal before; it is really an extraordina-
ry hambug.' He took up a friend from
tue same hotel, aud after he had seen the
anmsi led him into the secret, and in sue
cessioni thirly-seven persons were carried
up, all of whom took the humbugging in
good humof except the last man.
have not the vanity to call myself
real scientific humbug, am only an hum
BILE member oil the profession.
nj ambition to be the Prince of Hum
bugs will resign, but | hope the public
will take the will for the deed can as
sure them that if | had been able to
give them all the humbugs have thought
OF, they would have been amply satisfied
Before ] went to England with Tom
1IAuulb-i llad a skeleton prepared from
various bones; it was to have been eigh-
teen feet high 1t was to have been buried
year OF SO in Ohio, and then dug up by
accident, so that the public might learn
that there were giants of old. The price
l was to pay the person who prepared to
put the skeleton together was 10 have been
1925.
But finding Tom Thumb more successful
than | thought, sent word not to pro.
coed with the skeleton. NV manager.
who never thought as highly OF the scheme.
as it deserved, sold the skeleton for $50 or
SIS.
Seven years Afterwards received from
the South an account of a gigantic skele-
ton that had been found, accompanying it
was the certificate OF scientific and medical
men as to the genuineness. The owner
asked $4,000, or $1,000 month |
wrote him ifhe brought il on would take
it if | found it as represented, or would
pay his expenses il not found it was my
own original hunbug brought back to me
again of course refused il, and never
heard Of 1t afterwards.
Louis Napoleon possesses many of the
requisites OF a scientific humbug, but he
is a man OF blood and must, therefore fail
for contend that the real humbug is a
man of inhumanity. The real hum
bug Is not sordid, nor can a man, who is
too mean to enjoy a laugh at his expense,
ever rise beyond mere humbug hum
bug.
The greatest humoug is Western poll
tician OF the present day. He imagined
that he was a magician who could change
white into black, but like the ass IN the
lions skin, he has betrayed himself by his
voice.
Humbug is as ancient as creation. The
Devi! Was great humbug, but he betray
ed himself in paradise, and has never had
a friend since.
On this occasion ii rests with you to say
what kind of a humbug my speech il but
you have experienced any pleasure from
it; hope you will no. set me down among
.he Aumbug- humbugs."