davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

A PowERFUI. PUFF.-A New York pill doc
tor who advertised in Cincinnati paper,
asked the editor to give him a puff The ed
itOr, good natured, wrote "a first rate no.
tice." from which we make the following ex-
tract:
lone single pill worn in each pocket. will
instantly give ease and elasticity to the tight
est pantaloons. A little quantity will create
an appetite in the most delicate stomach, or
physic horse. They will also be found to
give rich favor to apple dumplings, and a
peculiar zest to picked oysters they will
thicken soup. reduce corpulent persons, and
are excellent bait for mouse traps. One pill
dissolved in bucket of rain water will be
found perfectly water proof lining for ca
nal embankments placed in steamboat boil
ers, they will effectually prevent their burst
ing. and greatly increase the speed of the
boats. AS for their medical qualities, they
are justly entitled to be called ''.MedicGmen-
tum GrGcia PrO6atufn." i. e.. "a remedy ap.
proved by grace, for they effectually cool
st. Anthonys fire, and stop ST. Vitus's dance
They purify the pimples in the small pox. and
eradicate the red gum in teething they re-
duce white swellings and cure the black jaun-
dice. blue devils, yellow, scarlet, or any 9th
er fevers they cure also the thrush in chill
ufen, anu PIP ii HeHS, Cne SCagSer IN nOrSeS,
and the nightmare in owls. But further emu
meration is unnecessary suffice it to say that
this medicine is combination upon new prin-
ciples. discovered by the present proprietor's
immortal grandmother and are an exception
to all the rules of science. common sense, and
experience ; so that while they are the most
powerful agent in nature, revolutionizing the
whole animal economy. and eradicating the
most incurable diseases. they are at the same
time perfectly innocent preparation, and
may be taken with entire safety by the nurs-
ing infant-all powerful, all harmless"
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17


He WOULDN'T DO IT.-A friend of ours who
deals in plain English. and has no acquaint-
ance with large words at that, happened to
take walk to Swampscott one pleasant
morning recently. A stranger was to preach
at the Swampscott church that day, and the
bell had nearly finished tolIing. when our
friend hove in sight Of the church Being
we'll dressed. and looking decidedly dignified.
he was at once taken for the expected minis
ter. AS ne approached the church, he was
met by several hardy sons of the ocean, and
one of them addressed him:
Sir, do you of6ciate to-day ?"
Onr hero, slightly Misunderstanding tho
purport of the question: answered them in
dignantly:
No, I'll be cussed if III go a fishing Sun
day, for anybody !" a
The Swampscott friends concluded that he
wasn't the man they had taken him to b.
Lynn .NetCs
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17
Dick DaiIy,s stnmn sDeecI,.

Feller Citizens This are day for the pop-
ulation of B0onville, like bobtailed pnIlet
on roclzety hen-roost to be lookin' up. a
A crisis have arisen, and somethin's bust /!
What are wei Here is, and I'd stand here
and explain from now till the day of the syn
nagogues, if you'd whoop for Dick Daily.
Feller Citlzens-Jerusalem is to pay. and
we haint got any pitch. Our hypefbolical
and maiestiecanal of creation has unshipped
her rudder. and the captains broke his neck,
and the cooks div to the depths of the vastly
deep in searclRsof dimuns. Our wigwam's IS
torn to pieces Ike shirt on brush fence,
and cities OF ffsse ere latitudes is vanishing
in blue fare Are such things to be did ?
I ask you isst name of The American Ea-
srlsa was Ail!ued lEF the shangy- beaded
-tiou; and now SITS on the magnetic telegraph,
if such doins is goin' on to be conglomera-
ted i repeat to you in the name of the pea
scoelNOf liberty when he's fewin' over the
Handicapped SUBMITS of the Rocky noun
tains, if wes goin' to be extemperaneously
big yogged in this fashion? Oh, answer me.
Let me not blush in ignorance, as Shake
peel says. Shall we be bamhoozlefied- with
such unmitigated oudaciousness? Methinks
hear you yelp-' No sir, hossfyF; Then
lect me to Congress, and there'll be reyo-
luGtOu SdfbdIu.
Feller CitizensAIf I was standin on the
adamantine throne of Jupiter. and the light
ming was flashin' around me. I'd continue to
spout! I've sprung leak and must howl
like bear with a sore head. Flop together
into ranks and bear me through.
Feller Citizens-You know me, and rip me
out with a mill crap if won't stick to you
like brick dust to bar of soap. Whar is
my opponent? No wharf was brought up
among ye, feller citizens, and papped in a
school-house. but he can't get around me
with his hifalutin. big words. Hictum, stric-
lm albronto. catnip, Brazeel. Eoglooney.
Baffin's Bay! What do you all think O.
SO it, porkey,- root, hog, or die as
apeel said, when Caesar stabbed him in
ouse of Representatives,.
er Citizens Lect me to Congress and
20 ish mad-dogs musketeefs and bad
aud 90 in for the annihilation of the
camp meetings and jails. I'll repndi-
ow and fustifiben hawk-F' have barn
IS every day, Sundays excepted, and Ii
enough to swim in. Yes. feller citizens
me to Congress, and I shall be led to
lam in the sublime, the terrific language
Bonapart. when preaching in the wilder
/less- Richards himself again."
2 On. then onward to the polls,--" gallop
apace. fiery footed steeds." and make the
welkin' tremble with ant7spasmodc yeHs for
Daily.
'Hence ye Brutus, broad axe and glory r
Let's licker.
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

rs The &c Industrial Luminary," (Parke-
vile. Platte Co, Mo.,) of the 18th June, re-
ferring to the immense emigration to Nebras-
ka, says: Now is the time for Missourians
to make claims. The country is swarming
with emigrants. Men on horseback, with
cup and skillet, and ham and -four and cof-
fee tied on behind, and with axe shouldered.
are facing westward; while gentlemen and
ladies are driving furiously to and fro in car
riages-printers writing lawyers speaking
doctors gallanting ladies and selecting
sites for residences companies with flags
waving. stalking out the vast prairies-trees
falling-tents stretching cabins going up
everything alive. and everybody wide awake
Hurrah for Kansas! Westward the star of
empire takes it's way.'n>
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17
DefencsIess state of California.

Hon. james McDougall in speech deliver
ed in the House of Representatives. in speak
ing of our political necessities. says
From thisseat of the Federal Government
California is distant 5000 miles deserts and
hostile tribes intervene. There is no way
through that intermediate country except for
parties who gosarmed for war. For all pur-
poses of commerce and government there is
no way there is none even for an army in
time of war. No man of military skill would
undertake to carry considerable army from
the Mississippi to the Pacific by land. The
sea- the fearful, treacherous sea, must be re-
lied on the dangers of the tempest and the
pestilence must be encountersd; and then a
transit must be made through q fore gn COW
cry, through a people 1lat are lot our own
people, and who impose upon us by every
species of eXaction and outrage.
Of the perils of the sea we have had a re-
cent instance, in the terrible fate Of the VIC
tins storm-swept from the deck of the San
Francisco. From the pe,tilent atmosphere
encounteredin crossing the continent, with
i'll the tropics, but few entirely escape; and
| hazard no departure from truth in saying
that poison charged atmosphere has a greater
number Of the lives of our people than were
sacrificed on the battle fields of Mexico. Is
it known to this committee. or if known, is
the fact appreciated, that we here are farther
from California-that more obstacles inter
vene than intervene between US and where
war now RACES On the banks of the Danube? !?
that we could more readily place an army
upon the banks, of the old EuphratPs than
upon the shores Of the bay of San Francisco?
Such is the fact. California is a familiar
name; but it is in distant land, sir.
In case of conflict, where would hostile
power strike us? Strike us where we could
be struck most securely. And 1 state here,
that any second-rate power could effectually
cut off the commerce, destroy the cities, and
for time crush the rising greatness of our
whole Pacific coast. This might be done be-
fore the arm of this Government could be
felt on that coast, were it ever so potential.
Would England thus expose her Indies to be-
come the prey of an enemy? California is
the Indies of these Atlantic States
But suppose this Government could fur
nish all the protection required. To main
tain and defend that coast in time of war. for
a single year. would cost this Government
$50.000.00O. This statement is not made in
considerably; it is no exaggeration. 1t
would cost this Government $50.0000 900 to
defend that coast for single year-supplies,
troops, arms. everything must make a~oyage
of seventeen thousand miles.
The fact IS. at cannot be disguised 1t
must be recognised that acith the present
means of communication, the Federal Cor
rT7CHUe1Ir cannon Jat17llSn TederdE protection
to California.
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17


THE SCHOOL HOUsE.-There were some fif-
teen or twenty barefooted healthy looking
boys and girls, playing and scampering. and
shouting around the door, and l wondered at
the evidences Of prolific reIroductivGness,
which seemed to characterize whoever inhab-
tied it, While we were some distance from
it, however | heard loud rapping on the
window sash. and the little ones disappeared
with rush into the house. That sound was
too full of old memories, recollections Of long
ago, not to explain the problem that had puz
zled me.
That log house, standing there all alone in
that little clearing, was a school house, a
" seminary of learning" small branch of a
great system, that has thrown and is throw
ing this country forward, with rush Of pro-
gress such as finds no parallel in the worlds
history. AS we passed it, the door stood
open, and | took an observation of the in
mates. There was the plain but neatly-dress-
ed mistress, with her clean calico dress and
black apron, her white neckerchief over her
shoulders. and crossed gracefully over her
bosom her hair combed smoothly and mod
estly from her forehead. and fastened in a
knot on the back of her head, and class of
little girls before her, about hearing them
read.
One chubby little fellow, of say eight or
nine years of age, was standing by himself in
the middle of the floor, with paper cap on
his head, his pantaloons rolled half way to
his knees, his legs and feet bare, End the fore
fl ger of the right hand in his mouth. and his
face downward in a ludicrous, sheepish and
shamefaced fashion. There was no mistaking
his position. He was undergoing punishment
for some sin AGAINST the laws of the school
demonstrating the great truth that reaches
all the way from the cradle to the grave. that
the way of the transgressor is hard. There
was something so old-fashioned so familiar
TO me in all this, that Twas tempted to laugh
and cry at the same time, as the present and
past stood out SO palpably before me.
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

A fathers ADvIcE.-Jeems. my son, keep
away from the gals. Ven you see one com
ing dodge. Just such critter as that young
'un cleanin' the door on the other side of the
street. fooled your poor daddy, Jenny. If
it hadn't been for her, you and your dad
might have been in Californy, huntin' dimuns,
nv son.
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17
Life.

AkAes 5s<
We are born--we laugh-we weep
We love--we drUop-we diel
Ahlswherefore do we laugh or weeps
Why do we live, Or die i
&. who knows that secret deepf
Alas, not II
why doth the violet spring
Unseen by human eye
Why doth the radiant seasons bring
Sweet thoughts thatquickly fly
Why do our fond heartscling
TO things that die2 ss
We toil-through pain and wrong
We fght-and ay
We love-we lose--and then, ere long.
Cold and dead I'VE lie
O, life is ALL thy song
''Endure-and die-!"
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17
GRASS VALLEY, CALIFORNIA, THURSDAY AUGUST II 1854

ceedes then confused sound from the out
slde, ad something like the muff1ed tread of
men l1R deep drift Gaehler, as soon as he
was sasfed that the robbers were fleeing.
sdlrecteohis domestic to despatch after them
around gunshots. They then waited quiet
y awhilsionger, until fully assured of the
night OF but the pinioned man. and then
unbarred Ebe massive door, and swung it
slowly bae to seize their prisoner.
A sight chill the blood of even those
stern men gaeted their vision. Instead of a
living man, 5ruggling to be free, they saw
nothing but naked. blood stained corpse
and what mot appalled, them. was the fact
that it was an eGdtesS one. The warm red
drops of Ritafi: We're still oozing from the
several veins, gurgling over the scarcely
chilled shouldefaAnd down the yet spsti fen
Injured as the Cd banker was to the scenes
of terror-.for helad passed his early wears.
in the camp and n the battle feldevhe, could.
not look calmly ma sight like that; he couf1a
not ask his ser1nts to loosen the slip-knot.
that had been $ fatal, and handle the mutt
lated corpse. hey closed the door upon it.
and fnging atold robe over the white arm
and hand With hung in the deadly moose,
they hastenedto an upper and distant room,
and waited nth impatient hearts for the
break of daWl. Slowly. tediously wore the
hours away but not until the sun was quite
high in the heaVens, could the four men break
the spell ylch the last nights horror had
flung over heir nerves and hearts. and pro-
ceed to thef duties. Itwas determined after
some conslitation u. tau s iasnateh young GusESe
with ops<ss the neighBor-
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

SHAME TO MANHooD.-To see a delicate wo-
man rubbing bed-clothes over wash-board
from morning till night, and herculean
gentleman measuring out rolls of lace and
delicate ribbons, would make Pawnee In
dian laugh at our assumptions of chiyalry.
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

MADAME SoNTAG.-Madame Sontag. from
her arrival in the United States up to the
close of her Mexican engagement, had clear
ed 100000, and she had calculated that an
other season or two, with her new company,
would have nearly doubled thisamount. Her
agent in Europe had concluded engagements
for her return, which in forty nights, would
have brought her 100000 more 1t is but
a short time since she purchased a noble cha
teau and domain in Germany, with portion
of the proceeds of her American tour.-.fIto.
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

81 see through it now." as the maid SER
want said, when she knocked the bottom ont
of the pail.
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17


CHILDISH SINCERITY. lady who was
quite in the habit of dropping,in at her neigh
boris about meal-time, in the hope of obtain
ing an invitation to partake with the family.
was recently completely nonplussed by the
unhesitating frankness of a child.
Knowing that neighbours supper-hour was
five. she called in about four, and settled her.
self down for a long call.
g It takes two tomake a bargain" and the
lady honored with the call had no idea of Civ
ing an invitation, if it was in her power to
escape it. Accordingly the hour of FIVE
brought no indications of supper Time wore
on, the sun was near its setting, and still the
same. A little girl, the daughter of the lady
in question, began to grow quite uneasy. At
length. her mother having gone out for mo-
ment. the visitor said" You must come over
and see me, Mary, sometime" mo, I won't"
said the child " Why not?" Because 1
don't like you." 'FBut why don't you like
mo - & because Lem hungry, and want
some supper" "But,' said the visitor.
amazed, I" don't prevent you having year
supper, do I?'' . Yes. you do" said little
Mary. q Mother said she shouldn't haze sup
per till you are gone. If you didn't go tiAe
midnight" In less than five minutes the
visitor was marching out of the front door
with very red face. She hasn't called to
see little Mary since.
Little Mary. in her childish frankness. has
not yet learned the important aesson which
after years will not fail to teach her. viz
that 81 the truth. however excellent or desi-
rable in itself, is not to be spoken at all
times"
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

The servant of Prussian officer one day
met crony, who inquired Of him how he got
along with his fiery master
'Oh. exeellentlyp' answered the servant
we live on very friendly terms every morn
ing we beat each others coats the only diff
ference is, he takes his of, to be beaten, and
i keep mine on"
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

H0LL, 8. 8, House - sisn paip+er; Sash
Doors -and- rylndow oasffES >1aae order, eiass
cut and prepared in the shop. Also, Cabinet and
Joiner work OF ali kinds is neatly executed and
promptly attended to. Shop Mill street, between
Main and Neil. II
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17
NO. 4S.
Fact. and Fancfes.

We learn, says the Alexandria [Ya.) Ga
zette. that young lawyer, who had just set
tied in one of the lower counties of Virginia,
was informed that there had been an order of
Court which required all young lawyers who
settled there to give security that they should
not be chargeable to the county!
q Halo, Sharp" said Pop, meeting him
the other day in the street, 'syou hobble, my
boy; what is the. matter with youW so, /
had my feet crushed, through the carelessness
of conductor, the other day, between rail-
road cars-that is ALL" And don't you
mean to sue for danages?'' Damages no.
ho. have had damages enough from. them
already-had not better sue for repairs -.
81 co;ssgsry irifs i.lual Hho was caught inl
the water-wheei of a saw-mill, says he in-
tends to apply for pension, as he is q sur
vivor of the Revolution.
Mother, did you ever hear sissy swear"
q No, my dear; what did she say 2" Why,
she said she wasn't going to wear her darned
stockings to church on Easter Sunday"
Somebody advertises to agents to sell
work entitled "Hymenial Instructor A
cotemporary adds !" The best Hymenial In
structor we know of is a young widow
What she don't know there is no use learn
ing"
Burns. the runaway slave, says he neEer
saw such a massa as Massachusetts,
The report that schoolmaster cbastised
boy with railroad switch is doubted. If be
did, he got off the track.
Joe says" Sam. I have lost my watch
overheard it lies in twenty feet of water.
Is there any way to get it ~
''Yes," says Sam, g there are divers ways"
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

NILHAM, 9. VI, Wholesale and Retail zeal
" er Groceries and Provisions. In connection he
has also Butchery and Bakery establishment, and
has constantly hand Meats Breads Cakes, Pies and
Paitries of every description. Fancy fxngs furnish
ed for Dinner Parties at short notce-Rough& Ready.
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

T ANsENsS, c. j., Attorney andCounsellor at
I ITaw Mill Street. Grass Valley 46tf
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

IT AW BLANKS PRINTED AND FOR
~ sale at the Grass Valley. Telegraph Office" at
reasonable prices. -
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

NHALLINOR, F., M. d., Physician, Sur
" geon and Accoucheur, basement story of the Ma
sonic Hall 1tf
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17

NEABTREE, DIR. L. A., Physician, Sur.
" geon and AccOucheur, Main street, opposite Ad
ans Co.'S Express, Rough Ready. II en-
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17
business Gar0s.

NONN g. MONTGOMERY, Attorneys at
" Law, Conyeyancers &c. &C., Main st. '27 tt
Grass Valley telegraph., 1854-08-17


s
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1854-03-15

SAILORS WAGEs.-It is said that the
keepers of the sailors boarding houses, in
New York. have publicly announced that
after the 18th of March, they will use
all lawful means to prevent the shipment
of seamen for less wages than SIS per
month, for voyages west Of the Cape Of
Good Hope, and east of Cape Horn. For
voyages to the east of Good Hope and
west of the Horn, the wages must be
SIS. After the same date, also, the
sailors will be charged "a per week, or
60 cents per day, for board. No men
will be put on board ships on Saturday.
U The New Orleans Picayune learns
from a passenger by the brig John S.
Cuttings, from Havana, that several sail
ing vessels had been treated as having
infringed the revenue laws, under cir.
cumstances similar to those connected
with the Black Warriors case. The J.
S. Cuttings was herself so treated.
q The workmen on the water-work
aqueduct above Georgetown, have str uck
for higher wages, and have petitioned
Congress to abolish military superinten-
dence over civil works.
e The bill limiting the monopoly of
the Camden and Amboy Railroad Co. TO
fifteen years, and extending the charter,
without monopoly. passed the House of
the New Jersey Legislature, March 10,
by vote of 81 to "a.
D The two Cunard steamships seized
at New York during Mr.. Fllmore's Ad-
ministration, for containing goods not in
the manifest were fined l5,G00-one
$4,000 and the other $1,000.
u A deficit of SIS, 900 has been dis.
covered in the New York Registers
Office. but they cannot yet ascertain
what to attribute 1T to. Several clerks
have been summarily dismissed.
IL The Alabama Legislature, at its
late session, refused to abolish impriscn-
ment for debt.
q The majority against the Maine
Law at the late election in Detroit was
3SI.
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1854-03-15
SPIRIT OF THE MORNING PRESS.

The Intell,gencer approaches the con-
Sideration of the question with Spain,
growing out of the recent seizure of the
steamer Black Warrior, strenuously ad-
vising caution and forbearance in what
ever this Government may essay on &C.
count of it. The editors declare that if
1t shall become evident that the Cuban
authorities have wilfully invaded the
rights of American citizens, they will, of
course, have nothing to say in extenua-
ton of their acts, though at present they
are laclined to think that the difficulty
has simply grown out of American in
traction of clearly defined Spanish Gus
tom House laws. They intimate, too,
that they can at present see no necessity
Tor great fuss ON our part over the affair
than there was for similar muss on the
part OF England on more than one coca
son of late, when the steamers of the
Cunard line were seized and their owners
placed under heavy bonds to the United
States, and ultimately heavily fined on
account of smuggling transactions on
boar2 them.
The Union discusses the Nebraska bill
with the Inteitigeneer, CHASING that jour-
nal among its opponents who are arrayed
against it only because they hope to make
it strengthen the hands of the opposition.
The organ also approaches Mr.. Corwin's
connection with the Gardiner claim, and
trusts that he may come out of the affair
with flying eolors. The editor, in the face
of Mr.. Fillmore's exemplary efforts to
punish that transaction as it deserved,
essays to hold his administration in a
measure responsible for it, though if we
mistake not, that of General Taylor ap-
pointed the commissioners allowing the
claim. We have to suggest that it would
have been better it he had looked further
back for his animadversions, and sought
the foundation of that system of doing
business, in the habit of granting special
Government favors which to a greater or
less degree had its origin under the ad.
ministration Of President Polk.
The Sentinel, by way of silencing the
story of the New York Erenmg Post,
that Judge Bronson, Ex- Collector of the
port of New York, is opposed to the
Nebraska bill, publishes strong letter
to the contrary from that gentleman to
Senator Douglas, bearing date February
18th ult. We trust that the Judge in that
epistle may be writing the practical SEN
timents Of his friends, the New York
Hards, of the House. We have satisfied
ourselves that some of the latter are
casting around for some excuse to JUS
tify them apparently. for casting behind
them, in acting on the Nebraska bill, the
principles for which they have professed
TO have been contending for a year or
two past. This fact is patent in Wash
ington at this time.