Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-11-23
YAI.I.I.ETY.

VARIETY.
Cor HIN THERE.-while a nVmber Of law
yerrand gentlemen were dining at Wiscas-
set, afeE years ago, a jolly son Of the Emer-
aid Isle appeared, and called for dinner
The landlord told him be should diRAHhAa
the gentlemen we're done eating.
Let him in among us whispered limb Of
thelaw, and We shall have. some fun with
him.
The Irishnap took his scat at the table
you we're not bern in~ this country, my
.fiend2'
no, sir; was born in Ireland
is your father living
sNo, lie Is dead
what is your occupation}
Trading horses
Did you father ever cheat any ono while
here7'
Il suppose he did cheat many, sir
Where do you suppose he went tot
ITO Heaven, sir
- Has he cheated any one there
HE has cheated one, believe
why did they not prosecute himF
Because they searched the whole kingdom
Of Heaven, and couldn't fnd alawyerp
ur-So YOU have come to reside in Chel-
sea, Mrs. PartingtonP said the squire, as he
looked at the old lady over the top Of his
goldbowed specs, on the boat. How do you
like the ferry
She smiled upon the squire, and replied.
II should like the ferry . good deal bet
ter, if it didn't 60 by water.
Slew here attracted BY the battery at
the navy yard and asked the squire if those
guns were tropics Of the revolution
She was ansWEered satisfactorily on this
point while Ike sat ona seat BY her side,
: making up faces at ssboy in boat that was
passing at the ime.-Post.
nrAn old farmer-one who feared Meth
or God nor man-had hired devoted negro,
and to get some Sunday work ont Of bin,
would always plan . case Of necessity on
Saturday, and on Sunday would put this
Point to the mans conscience.
One morning Sambo proved refractory
, He. would work no more on Sunday. The
master argued with him that it was q case
Of necessity-that the Scriptures allowed a
man to get out Of pit on the Sabbath day
q beast that had fallen in
Yes, massa., rejoined the black. but not If
be spent Saturday in digging de pit for de
berry purpose
Hr-We have oil heard Of the smiles Of
Providence was much pleased with I'm
ole Jm,s idea on the subject.
GOOD morning Uncle jim
IGood morning
well, you hayego your daughter marri-
ed of, have youp
Yes
Really. Providence has smiled upon you
'Smiled9 No; bless youi she snickered
right OUT I
n-An Irisbman went fishing, and 8
nong other things, he hauled in large sized
turtle. To enjoy the surprise Of the serr-
ant girl, be Prt il in her ROOM
Ne morning, the first that bounced into
@afhe breakfast table was Biddy, with the OK
elamation-
BE jabers, / have got the deyiIl'
whit devil = inquired her master.
tWhy, the bull bed bug, that has been eht.
ing the children for the last two months.
IrTwo friends were dining together, one
efwhom remarked
tAs am gsing abroad, l have made my
will, and ! have bequeathed to yen my whole
stock Of iinpudence.,
II
'You are very generousaz we'll as kind
You have left by far the largest portion Of
your estate
ne'Ob, Mary, my heart is breaking
SIS it, indeed, Mr. Clcsefst : So much
the better for you.' 81
! why so, my idelp
Because, when it's broke out and out, you
may sell the pieces for gunfiuts' :
M is your master at home 7
sNo, sir, he's ont
sYouf mistress
No! cir, she's out
'well, I'll just 90 in and take an air Of
the FIRE till they come
Faith, sir, that's out, too
nrWh hen you see young man who has
ashoilow feeling about eleven o'clock in she
forenoon and four in the afternoon, which re-
ouires q little suthin' to carry it of, make
up your mind that unless he drives that iu-
stitution out,of town, it win one day carry
him OF
l7-.I expect, said young physician on
lis way to New York, on hearing exaggera-
ted rumors Of the cholera, TO witness great
many death-bed scenes this summer
Doubtless replied friend, if you get
much practice
n-What viii you leave mo in your Hilll'
said lady 10 an 1rishman.
He very coolly answered
The wide world, my darlink
HFFanny Fern says-.Fhank God, the
unspoken srayor Of penitence may wing its
way to the eternal throne, though mocking
church spires point only with aristocyatie I'm
gers 70 the rich mans heaven
KrsMy dinner don't agree With me- said
man TO his wife, after an extraordinary
hearty meal
I don't blame il, my dear; I saw you Jass-
Eng it % hard
b5eA Frepchmau, wishing 10 speak Of the
cream Of the English poets, forget tho word,
aud said de butter Of de poets, A vsg said
be had fairly ehurned up the Esglish Ian
euags
HPTho man who is toopoor % take pa
per, has bought slabsided dog. and old
shot gun and twenty shilling gold watch
ne sdue.,es bis children in the street, and
be.rds bis sbanghais on bis neighbors
11-poni forget your creditors, Is you 60
along
IIrfIcE-Si Firing. snd SIX Lace For
~ INHU =. HNOII.