The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1854-03-26
Society and Politics I'm Washington.-No. ID.
WASHINGTON, d. c., March %, 1854.

WASHINGTON, d. c., March IS, 1854.
TO THE EDITOR OF THE HERALD.
have been persuaded to remain here until the
inst OF April; and whom do you suppose changed
my purpose of quitting Washington No one else
1ut Frank Pierce himself. He called at my room
ahe next evening after my last letter was written
4 received him as cordially ever, and he had not
been with me an hour before had assured him that
would not leave until the first proximo. 1t is
Strange, but such is the force of example that do
believe If was to associate with General Pierce
three months longer | should become as vacillating
and unsteady ofpurpose as he is.
.. SAM
Well my lord; am listening?
% Come, now, Sam, get rid of the sulks and your
D. unpleasant growing sort of phiz, and look as
cheerful and happy as you used to do.''
/" Its no use, Mr.. President. II can't be did
am always out and out-what feel | look. don't
like your goings on. 1t wont pay in the long run
am patriotic, am; and don't care who knows it.
speak my mind, no matter who is in the crowd
That's why am so fond of you, SAM
" don't want you to be fond of me. | want to
have row and rupture with you. You are always
80 smiling, 80 pleasant and so SOFT don't like it,
want to see you do something. I'll give you five
dollars If you will turn to and smash the windows,
throw tumbler at that looking glass, set the win
dow curtain on fire. I'll pay all the damage to the
landlady."
" You willard give me five dollars? III do
it-no, won't; recollect my position, SAINT
would get in the newspapers"
" There you go again my position'-in the pa
pers; that's just what you want. You want to get
in the papers with the credit of having done some
thing matter what the devil it is; you never can
be eminent, and the next best thing you can do is
to become notorious
(" You say you don't want me to like you Sam?''
No, i don't, because you are unlpcky; every
thing you touch you kill, and l am allaid that in
some way or other you will infect me with your
bad luck. never associate intimately with an I'M
lucky man if can help it, and you are unlucky in
everything you do"
"You are in bad humor tonight, Sam, and
know the reason of it. It's all on account of my not
going in pell nell for Cuba on account of that
Black Warrior business. came very near doing it,
but one thing stopped me; l changed my message
from what was originally written, and flung all the
responsibility upon Congress. If them chaps want
to put the country into war with England they
may do it; won't"
You did remodel your message, them
didn't do nothing else.'
track?"
mo Guess again -
"Your man of all work, Forney?'
mo! There was no plumber about Cuba, and For
ney don't NEEDLE with matters that are not likely
f0 lR%ysh.tsr von, p.v.,. s..,o,..r ~
"Hel-no! He dosen't know enough about foreign
affairs to know where Cuba is located He never
was away from Concord before ! brought him on
here. Try again."
"Your friend that keeps the oyster cellar that
you bought of Walker q Shad 2"
NO Do you give it upE'
''Well, shall have to, for most of your advisers
are such small potatoes that l can't call them by
name. Who was 1t now? Z"
what the British Minister You don't say that
you told him the contents of your message about
Cuba or that he had the mpudence to tell you what
to do or to leave undone?n
mot exactly but I'll tell you what he did. He
called on me, not officially of course but to have
chat He had in his vest pocket long article which
he had cut from some London paper. Mr.. President
Just cast your eye that said he. | did So and
At was list OF the fleets England was fitting out
Tor the Baltic, Black Sea, and so forth"
We'll. what had you to do with thati"
Nothing, Sam; but, as the sailors aboard ship
uscd to say at Vera Cruz, kept my weather eye
open while Master Champion let the cat out of the
bag"
SIet the cat
I" Don't interrupt me. He-Crampton-wen on to
say that such a feet would demolish every Russian
vessel in less than six weeks, and, said he-now
mark, Sam, and pay particular attention, 'and hope
that what have heard from Marcy is true. He in
formed me in confidence that you were going to re.
commend to Congress belligerent measures if so,
it will be good excuse for England to send her
fleets into the Caribbean after they have crushed the
Baltic and Black Sea fleets, for England don't want
10 keep such fleets unemployed. How is Mr.. Pierce
this morning ?'-Now, Sam, that's what he said,
and saw through it. As soon as he had gone, as
fonished old Marcy by writing message to Con-
gress on my own hook, and so far as / am con-
cclned my sagacity has saved the country from q
war with England. What an internal jolly row
there would be, to be sure if all those hundred and
twenty gun steamers and ships and screws, and all
sorts OF things, were to come over here, Ell? No,
sir Mr. Samuel, such o state Of things amt a-going
to happen while am President. It's all very well
~ blow little now and then it does the country
good. But when you come to such fleets as England
has scared up, l. for one am going to keep perfectly
cool, and use plenty Of ice for my messages"
:" And so. Mr.. President, that was the reason you
backed down from the Black Warrior business, eh?
&" Yea, sir ; and it's a-gong to be all right, now,
Tor Champion has assured me that the English Min
ssty at London will take it up, and they will give
orders to the British Minister at Madrid to demand
That the Spanish government shall accede to every
demand Mr. Soule makes for satisfaction, under Mr.
Marcy's instructions-eh Mr. SAM"
"Mr. President, why don't you ask Champion to
settle all your other difficulties | dare say he
would lend you hand abou, Nebraska or any feast.
Die plan to dissolve the Union"
I'm tell you what it is. Sam you needn't turn
APP your nose, or sneeze at Mr.. Champion. He is
tramp. nice pickle we would be in but for him."
Why So
Why so? III tell you why-Marcy is Secretary
of State, Amt he ~
Unfortunately for you, sir, he is"
:" Jim Buchanan is Minister to England al mt he ?"
Agreed"
Very well between the pair of them they put a
stopper upon all effective diplomatic negotiations
with England"
How so n
Because they are as jealous of each other as pos
able, and they hate each other like hell Marcy
lends instructions to Buchanan, and he puts them
h his pocket, and in fact says TO Marcy, you may
kiss my foot. Marcy can't DO nothing and Buck
kon't. and II il wamt for Champion and me there
would be pretty kettle OF fish spoiled"
Nebraska has broke down, Frank; what new
fcdge are Won going to try now2 You might make
y hif with the clergy. They are in the political
ted now, and they muster strong You ought to
eecure them
49, IL Can, IIn,u