Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1854-07-22
ep= SD -E. 1850
- y&J EGs

The bridegroom was weaiher-bealen
'counryman. perfect picture of good ma.
Iure, but so tall that in entering the por-
tails of the office an involuntary obedience
was necessary; while the artificial holly.
hooks on the summit of the brides bonnet
just touched the elbow of her expected
lord. Their entrance was preceded by
an urchin with dilapidated garments, who
claimed and received three coppers as his
fee for guiding them to the spot.
~'What can | do for you, my good
friends ? asked the urbane Alderman as
II IN utter ignorance OF the object Of their
visit. "Pray be seated. madam"
"Well, Squire" answered the groom.
with a complacent glance at the filagree
breast pin that fastened dashing ribbon
around the lady's neck, cold Mrs. Petit
bone down to Lynn-you'ye hear'n tell
about her, | reckon ?
"Weil, really, | think--l hardly know
i guess not"
"Not heard tell of her, Squire ! why
she makes about the best punkin sass you
ever put in yer stummick, | reckon; slips
down just as slick as a creased cat craw.
lin through jint of stove pipe"
Very happy TO be introduced 10 her,
Sir; but don't let me interrupt you. Pray
proceed"
"Jes' SO, jes' so. Well, old Mrs. Pet
ubone gin me Dianthy, here, to git spill
ced TO. She's wilder woman, an old
Deacon Pettibone made ropes OF money
in the shoe peg business when he was
alive, and larnt the business with him;
so you dlskiyer that naturally liked the
gal and the old lady gin consent; so, ef
you'll pronounce the ceremony your mon.
ey's ready"
$50 you wish to be married, eh 7"
querled the Alderman, willing 10 spend a
few moments in leisure conversation.
MAY | venture 10 ask what induced you
TO break through bachelors life :"
"SarIln, Squire; saTtin. You see it's
narral. Who ever hearn tell of bache.
lor chirPin' bird or bachelor bob-o-link 7
| reckon nobody has. And then amt
doubhn kinder nat'ral Amt double 70.
ses, and double mornin-glories and doub-
lie plneys the purtyest, and don't every
body like 'em better than single ones.
The amount on it is, natur teaches il
Squire, clear through The programmy,
beginning with the robins and leaving of
with the apple blossoms"
VERY true, my good Sir; a very phiIo-
'oPhlcal view Of the subject. Turning
o the lady.( And You, madam, have you
.lven this subject the attention il merits =
"Never mind her, Squire, jest let me
elIle that air business; 'tain't no kinder
lse TO trouble your bowels about Dianlhy.
est you fetch your books and fire away
The ceremony was soon performed.
)ur "ReGorm" Alderman has carried i'm
rovement into that department Of his
two dollar bill was duly
laced in his palm by the newly made
usband. After he had congratulated the
air, and wished them success, Jonathan
reclaimed
esquire, you're reg'lar trump, you
re; and ef you ever come TO Lynn you'll
nd stoppin' place with me, and rou-
N welcome. But. Squire, and Jona-
ian laceliodsly inserted his fore finger in
le regions Of the Alderman's ribs, I'm
one with one-hOrse 6edsfeads, l am.
ood bye, Squire 20
We have often heard of men WHO could
Did but one idea in their beads al one
me. Ii is not so with uncle JOSHUA. As
sat down TO dinner, the other day, he
ked blessing in these words: "For
hat we are about 10 receive may the
ORD make us duly thankful = and added
the same breath : "SsIly. iha! steak 10
irnt TO crisp =
Tom and Joe were lslking over lber
sveis when Tom asked:
WAS you ever in Greece %
"No. but fell in lhunderin' big tub Of
ap. once"
A female writer says nothing look,
1rse on lady than darned slockings.'
low us To observe hat stockings thst -
ed darning look great deal worse than
Ined ones--daTned il they Gon'l
A correspondent OF he Lowell Courier.
itlng from San Jose Mission, says that
cattle IN that region live TO suclia grea,
that their owners have 10 fas,en long
les 10 The end Of their horns to LEI the
Inkles run out on
cDoTE.-The follow ing is lib rIily true,
Methodist deacon arose in meeting to
u his experience, and said. "ihe devil
roaring lion, going about seeking
ON he may deveur blessed be his
y name :"