The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1854-09-27
Old deacon M was the only tore-keeper

sacred urn. l.
Old deacon NJ. was the only store keeper in
pretty village 'tup country and used to
take great pleasure in catechislng the youth
who might visit his store. One stormy day,
business dull, the deacon was quietly smoking
by the side Of cheerful fire, when ragged
urchin entered, who seemed a fit subject on
which the deacon might exercise his question
ing powers The deacon drew long Whit,
then pulled out his pipe, and exhalling long
column of smoke, called the lad to him, and
patting him on the shoulder, said:
"Well, my son, what's the strongest thing
you know of"
The lad thought moment, then scratching
his bump Of commandments through
hole in his hat, answered:
Il reckon marin knows, she's talncl strong
herself-she can lick dad at any tlme-and she
said that the butter | got here tother day was
: the strongest thing she ever seed yet, tor that
was so strong she couldn't hold it arter she got
it down." The deacon asked no more ques-
tons of that little shaver
A sherff's officer was sent to execute a writ
against quaker. On arriving at the house,
he saw the quaker's wife, who, in reply to his
inquiry whether her husband was at home, an
swered in the affirmative, and at the same
time requested him to be seated, and her hus-
band would speedily see him. The officer
waited patiently some time, but the fair qua
keress coming into the room, he reminded her
of her promise that he should see her husband
NAY, friend promised that he would see
thee. He has seen thee. He did not like thy
looks; therefore, he avoided thee, and has left
the house by another path
When my grandmother (ong since III heaV-
en) was about three years of age, she was ia
ken to a funeral of a deceased playmate. The
little corpse was lying in its coffin, around
which flowers were strewn; and she, being
lifted up, kissed its cold cheek, and whispered:
"Please give my love to God3'
This strikes me as the sweetest expression /
ever heard made by child
A good man once said that soon after his
marriage, his circumstances were so straten-
ed that he was sometimes destitute of the ordl-
nary comforts of life. One morning his wife
called him to breakfast, which consisted of dry
bread, molasses and water Observing that
she was much detected he cheerfully said, my
dear, this is better than the promise. We read
that bread shall be given us, and water shall
be sure; but we have more than this The
happy remark dispelled the gloom from the
lady's mind and they often afterwards spoke
\ of that meal as the sweetest they ever enjoyed
] Getting into debt is getting into tanglesome
net; but do not be disheartened; the next best
thing to keeping out of debt, is to get out of it
as quickly as possible, and | do not see any
reason why, if your health is spared, you
should not set all to rights yet.
No oh ro1ot of
'the ruling passion strong in death''
l was told of noted gambler living in the
city of New Orleans. Betting was mania
with him, and the argument which he adopted
to settle any controversy. Whatever might be
the character of the debate, his strongest reply
to an antagonist was, "I'll bet you" That
scourge of New Orleans, the yellow fever made
its appearance. While twas raging most fierce
ly and carrying off hundreds, daily, the gam
bier was attacked. Medical attendance was
secured, and everything that skill could do was
done to save his life. But the fever was strona
ger than the doctor, and at last he was told
"Sir must die andif you have any arrangements
10 make, attend to them speedily"
Doctor" said the sick man, chow long win
/ live?''
mot more than three hours" was the re-
ply.
Doctor, are you perfectly certain that I can
not live more than three hours?" queried the
patient.
Il am, sir, you may live that long, but the
probabilities are, that your end will come in
shorter space"
"Well, but you are mistaken, DOCTOR and Til
bet you my funeral expenses that | will live six
hours, just double what you assign me-
The physician was astonished at such cool
ness and hardhood, but remembering with
whom he had to do, accepted the bet, and wait
cd the result. The fellow lived through the
six hours, secured the amount of his stake, land, /
while chucklng over his triumph, was seized
with spasm and died
CIarissa, Tin a tremendous hurry Oh, Liz
zy, dear, can't stop; I've just run in to say
that Mr.. Simpkins proposed last night; | de-
clare | havn't got over it yet.
Lizzy (all alive,) Lor, love, you don't say
so? Well, that is nice!
Clarissa, (quite joyously,) yes, dear, amt
it? I told him | must have my own way in
ev'ry thing, or couldn't love him, no! not bit.
Lizzy, with eyes and ears open to their full
est extent, and what did he say TO that Clarry,
darling?
CIarissa, tout of BREATH oh. he agreed,
dear, he agreed; and so it's settled, we are to
have the bridal ROOM at St. Nicholas, and I
am to have as many dresses as like, and moth
cr can come and live with us, and he'll always
be at home at six; oh, I'm SO happy. Good
bye, dear, good bye. [Exit.
The savans of Paris are going to introduce
the doscorea japonica as a substitute for the
potatoe. It is tubercuiar vegetable with a
more delicate flavor than the potatoe. 1t will