Wisconsin tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1847-1854, 1854-01-05
narictp.
STATE OF THE MARKET.

STATE OF THE MARKET
Honor-Dear and scarce The old stock near
y exhausted, and the crop rather unpromis.
ing.
Virtue-Few importations, and that of native
growth degenerating.
Honesty-None in the market.
Patriotism, first quality-No demand.
Patriotism, second quaHty-PrincipalIy bought
un speculation at par
Prudence--All held by old stockholders
Pride-Market glutted
Politeness-Very cheap, but the owners appear
very indifferent about the disposal of it
Scandal-None offered at wholesale; the arti.
Gle is altogether engrossed by hawkers and ped
lars.
Religion--When brought into market it is gen.
orally aiulterated. Sales nominal
Love-None offered. except for real estate.
Talent scarce article. No credit allowed
Sincerity-Out of season.
GREAT HEIGHTS.
Height of qusitiveness-To climb the house
top, and look down chimney to see what one s
neighbor has for dinner.
Height of Civlity--To run against post in
the street, and then beg pardon for the encounter
Height of Gallantry-When intoxicated to reel
along the street with lady under your arm, to
escort her safely home
Height of Honor-To defraud one S landlord or
printer for the sake of discharsng ones gambling
debts
Heishto IemPerancc-To keep one 'sskin con-
stantly soaked in ardent spirits, without ever get
ting drunk.
Height of Phosophy-To starve ones self TO
death in order to illustrate the beneficial effects OF
the Graham system.
Height of Independence-To quarrel with all
your neghbors, who will not agree with your
own ,iews and notions of things
Why don't You put a clean chirt q said a
welldressed dandy the other night to his compan
ion, then the girls will smile upon you as they
do on me-
Everybody can't afford to wear a clean shirt
every day, you can, was the reply
why not 2 said White collar
Because, said soiled collar, every body S moth
er is not washwoman.
Have you any lmbhorn bonnetsa' inquired
very modest miss of a shop-keeper.
ANY what q
ANY hmb-horn bcnnets2
'Any-you don I mean leg-horn7
The young lady was brought to bv the use OF
proper restoratives
".f blithe heart makes Blooming JIsage~-
True but II won't do TO suppose that every bloom
ing visage comes from jolly condition of the
heart The cause sometimes lies deeper than that
in the cellar.
The proprietor of a livery stable, writing
from Sacramento, says he keeps FIVE hosters
three of the five formerly Broadway dry
goods clerks and the other two ;:elergymen."
The preacher who awarms up his hearers
with swords that burn, has been consulted wi:h
by the deacons upon the propriety of havirg no
fire III the church this winter
Our minds are like ill-hung vehicles: when
they have little to carry, they raise prodigious
clatter; when heavily laden, they neither creak
nor rumble.
So necessary is fun 10 the mind, that late
philosopher says if YOU should have schools with
out play grounds nobody would get beyond short
division in life time.
II shall die like hero@ said the coal when
it was being consumed, ''for shall mix with the
ashes Of The CRATE
-lne young woman that was lost in thought
after wandering in her own mind, found herself al
last in her lovers arms
The man who borrowed trouble has return
ed II, but without any expression of thanks.
HouR GLAsses,-Ihe toPer's favoIite compan-
iou.