Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-07-27
VARIETY.

RTpaYou say you have conuaencs II tns
olsiatiH, Mr. Smith
ass.,. . .hs court, i yoa please, what
caused ibis con6dence. /"
away, you see, sir, there's Alters reports
slous es.sn' house men and used 70
4hipkn- -
4 Never mind what used to think tell us
Ihx1 you know
swell, eir, one day 1goes down % Cook.
ems shsp an, seq 70 the waiter, SCI. !, give :
auesl pie
aWelk sir, proceed.F
avail. ius. then, Mr. Cookem comes ~up
asd Sos be-" How du, Smith, what are Jon
asing 10 hevin
aWssl pie, sea l. e,
GOOD, SCI be, III take one, toe" 80 ne
sits down and eats one OF bis own veal pies,
right before me-.
aid that csnse your confidence 10 hlmf
ayes. indeed, sir; when an eaten house
tsener sets down afore his customers, and
lsliberately ests one Of bis own veal pies, no
80 ,sfuscs ID feel eopadence-h shows him
70 bs an honest man."
n1rwe heard the other day . good one Of
John Check, who always had bis eyes cock
Al both ways for Justice, and perhaps for
Sunday. ftseems be had fined an Irish.
man. Who having used little too much Of
a. erayther. vas foolish enough 70 let the
e,.ythcr use him. Pat on leaving the
once met friend TO whom he held forth
aBy jabsrs, and whs hned, Martin !"
aAh, Who 6ned youf g
aThat's tellin' just Twas mon in their
Who's either . justice Of peace or peace Of
Justice and ! don't know which ! and he's
len handed in both eyes"
M Passing down West Pearl street the
etker afternoon, We Glanced TO bear the sub
ioined dialogue between two ladies' of color:
Il sees, Missns Jonsing, dat yous bad
got an odder white gal wotkins, for you"
eYes, child, Use had her desc free weeksf
HWhat dc cause for Jour preference OBJ
dsss- white gals, honeyl" :.
why, de fac am, when you gets one OBJ
d coIored gala, dey tiuks dar's ekality, and
maksS demseives to familiar like but desc
white gsls don't--dey keeps nm place'
K1Your father yedld not have punished
yea, ny child, II you had not used profane
iang11Rs and swore.n
aWell fathsr swears.n
N know be has been in the habit Of it but
Be leaves Of new"
aIt's pity be hadn't done i before be
taught Bill and me 20 Bwear, and then we
Vould have been saved many darned hard
-iickingss
RA rogue having Q luxuriant nous.
laehs sprouting from bis upper lip, was do.
tseisd 10 the aet Of stealing pocket hand,
n - a ~ = ~ a. Ii
railroad depot in Wheeling. He bad lost
enc gist exactly like 4, be said, and simply
wanted. 70 look u II 70 see whether it had
his private mark, thus adding insult to 10.
jury.
EPDuring Commodore Perry's late visit
70 Japan. himself and suite were entertain
Cd q feast By the natives Cooked worms,
fried snakes and variety ofindigestible COM
sounds wore served up, Of which they were
obliged 70 partaks through etiquette. Here.
aftef. strong stomach may be considered
e 1 high recommendation in our japanese
diplomatistsl
1Jssms, my son, keep away from the
gals. Ven you see one coming, dodge
Just such critter as that young 'un cleanin'
The door on tAe other side Of the street. fool.
Cd yeur poor daddy, Jenny. If il hadn't
been fer her you and your dad night have
Assn IL Californsy, huntin' dimuus ny son.
RrA widow enes said To- her daughter.
sWhen yon are At my age, il will be time
enough 70 dream Of husband" AYES,
namma,n replied the thonghtloss girl, "for .
oseond tims.h The mother tainted.
U.Whas nonsters these cotton factors
unst BE- said MIRA Darlington, @I'm told
some % en- has more than ahundred hands.
NJ poor Paul ofesn uanted NE to 60 aud
81 thsm, but / am thankful ] never went.
KlrAn exchange tells Of an eccentric Gus.
tomsrs, Who, dining at . 6rst rate hotel, or.
dsrsd sknos hole ffiea, and .halfdozen
yies' ssst IN the sAoll
K1rsansaess made Of red flannel, boot.
ia6ks and che hind quarter Of night mare,
ere eeod for those Uho like EN-; but We ney.
= "a ianey EN-.
~ "a nan can get along <ithout adver
tiSing. . en- wagon without ereasing, but
4 eoss lard, and no sensible driver would
ydsiA
1 nraWhst ere Jon writing such big
Aand 81. Patp aWhys you see my grand.
uo.hsr 3 dsfs, and I'm writing loud letter
. hsf.s
RHeod ior the blood --r;se early, wash
sn1 = oat u The strsst for good lsng
wslkh Il vii have reviving influence up.
q year half stagnant system. Try it.
"a osnnectiout dame the mother Of /
lss1S hnily, vas one day asked the number
sfksf children, sLa me u she replied, rocks
inc ksrsslf % and fro, i1'se got fourteen,
uostl} hoys md girls y
neIt usn't do V conclude that man is
slu.ys ksppg When he i smiling OF that be
na Ae.,s.h1ildss, bse4ase you always End
I'm uith 4 btink u hi5rbst'
N1rDobh1 slys nat PEOPLE Who endorse
ue,e3 ars olled 'soretieb' for this reason,
~ u uine ols1s snt of ten thev Are .surai
= bo .aiIsd upon Cor ~ monsy.
I'll uoaI1 %, y, ior,l,., pr,.,;,, ana.
-1,n..-.- - eiessnen u ear hearing; i
N..'- ~. s1-tis, iso-ese t1tn could
- -, 4 l<-lss.
Iks n,dsrn vsyof 1.kirt i.r ma.
-, l!s.sss : = ~ sels'L' siss f; - !. q !.
c.'; s...! s'' !: /: ;.i ..::' !
3. :''S': g: r.; = ~ :::: 81 &. '.' /: