The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1854-08-23
From thE g y. iass1
iSaageFg Easle==sgse'SS: sssAAzs
ON u EBeRhGleT.

Dear EditoT:-t lave been 10 the
Niagara, you know Niagara Falls
big rocks, water, foam, Table Rock,
'UiidEs eurusities, squaws, tnoccasins,
stuffed snakes, rapids, wolves. Clifton
House, suspension bridge, place where
the water runs swift, the ladies faint,
scream and get the paint washed Off
their faces; where the aristocratic Indi-
an Indies sit Oh the dirt and make lit.
tie bags; where the cars 60 in hurry,
the walters are impudent and all the
boys swear.
When came in sight of the suspen-
sion bridge. was vividly impressed
with the idea that it was some bridge.
iii fact, considerable curiosity, and a
considerable bridge-took q glass of
beer aud walked up to the Fuls-an.
other glass of beer and walked under
the Falls; wanted another glass of
beer, but couldn't get it, walked away
from the Falls, went through, mad.
triumphant, victorious, humbue-h hum.
bug! sir, all humhug! except the dab
bliness Of every thing, which is most,
certainly, and the cupidity Of every
body, which is diabolical fact. and
the Indians and niggors every where,
which is satanic truth.
Another glass Of beer-'twas forth
coming immcdiately-also another; all
OF which drank. | then proceeded to
drink glass Of beer, went over to
the States, where | procured glass Of
beer-went up stairs, for which paid
sixpence, over to Goat Island, for
which disbursed twenty five cents
hired guide, to whom paid half a
dollar-sneczed four times, at nine
cents a sneezc-went up OH the tower
for quarter Of 4 dollar, and looked at
tho Falls-didn't feel sublime any.
tried to, but couldn't-took some beer
and tried again, but fiiled-drank a
glass Of beer and began to feel better
thought the waters were sent for
and were on a journey to tho;
thought the place below was one sea Of
bcer-was going to jump down and
get some, guide held mc-scnt him
over to the hotel to get glass of boer,
while tried to write some poetry;
result as follows:
. thou (spray in one eye) awful,
(small lobster in right shoe) sublime
(both feet wet) master piece OF { i'm.
meny, what lie,) the Almighty.-
Terrible and majestic art thou in thy
tremendous misht--awful(orin to
behold, (cramp in my right shouldcr)
eisan.ic, huge and nice! Oh, thou
that tumblest down and risest up
again in misty majesty to Heaven
thou glorious parent Of a thousand
rAinbows-what huge. grand, awful,
terrible, tremendous, infinite old swim.
ding humbug you are; what are you
doing there, you rapids you--you
know you've tumblcd over the rocks
and cant get up again to save your
puny existence; you make grca1
fuss, don't you2
Man came back with the beer, drank
it to the last drop and wished there
had been gallon morc--walked out
on q rock to the side Of the falls, wo.
man on shore very much frightened
told her not to get excited If fell
over, as would step right up again
it would not be much OF fall anyhow
got glass of beer of man, anoth
or OF a woman, and another Of two
small boys with a pail--fifteen minutes
elapsed. when purchased some moro
OF On Indian woman and .mbibed !,
through straw; it wasn't good hat
TO get glass of beer to take the taste
out ofmy mouth; legs began to tangle
up, effect of'the spray III my eyes gol
hungry and wanted something 10 eat---
: went into a1, .,afinH & 10 az, 3. m l