The Shasta courier. [volume] (Shasta, Calif.) 1852-1872, 1854-10-28
n...,;ck. ON Cro.on Water.


was a Youthful lnebrlatlon caused py partaKlnS
too freely of cider made OF apples with worms
in II. AT present am sober. Whether for the
last four-and- NV enty hours have been So is the
point requiring calculation. Ii during that pc
riod have been intoxicated. then the time has
arrived when any person who wishes to have
regular drunk need only apply to the nearest
hydrant Heretofore have supposed water to
be a beverage innocent and harmless; but now,
we'll no matter will not antcipat Listen
while relate plain unvaruished tale"
| left my boarding house In company with
friend intending to witness the Shaksperian re-
vival at Burtons'-the Midsummer Nights
Dream" Before leaving the hotel at his sug-
gesiion. we partook of potable, known think,
as punch-,chiskey punch. l watched attentively
the preparation OF this agreeable beverage, and
am certain that there entered into its compo-
stion certain amount of water-Croton water,
| as | have every reason to believe; and | am
also sure that III that treacherous drausht | i'm
bIbed the first installment of that vlanous IL
quid which produced the diabolicaI state of facts
an about TO describe and also that the second
and third OF these ingenious Inventions (bo;h
OF which we drank on the spot were as guilty
IN this respect, as their illusrious predecessor
And furthermore conscentlously state that ma
| glass of brandy Zone Of couple we ordered
soon afterwards) and which, according to my
nvaliable custom, should have been straight
was also surrepttiously diluted with the same
detestable fluid by the malicious bar keeper
/ tor remember experiencing slight confusion
on going out, aud n.istaking ii topsail schooner
| Tor The broadway Theatre.
We Immediately entered another saloon to
4 procure the wherewIih 10 steady our nerves.
/ when we partook OF two gin cocktails and
/ brandy smash individually, and | state accord
idg TO The best OF my knowledge and belief
/ hat one principal ingredient III each and ev-
cry one OF these compounds was wafer Gro
/ ION water--cupably introduced therein by some
evil disposed persons without my knowledge or
consent. On leaving this saloon | noticed that
my friend, although single man. had by some
mysterious process OF multiplication became >.
kept fast hold of both. and after doubling, with
great deal of difficulty, a great number and va
! rieiy of corners, we reached Burton's. Tickets
! being mysterleusy procured, entered and
! eventually obtained seats. Finding, after pro-
longed trial, that ii impossible to put my
hat i'll my vest pocket, placed it Oh the floor
and put both feet i'll it, The theatre generally
seemed to be somewhat mixed up. The par
quette, gallery, and dress ciIc Gle were all one ;
and the stage whrling around at a rate
which must have been extremely announcement
10 the revolving actor.
At length after a liberal allowance of over
ture, the curtain went up. and l was enabled
! by the most unremittng attention. TO concentrate
| the actors sufficiently to understand the perform.
ance. And many things which hitherto deemed
dramatically incorrect, were presented to my
wondering vision then and there. 'Hypol,ta
was dressed in knee breeches and brogans; and
'Titania did not to Inc, present very fairy like
appearance in fireman red shirt and three
cooked hat. 'Oberon' was not SO Objectionable
(being gentleman) in talma and plaid pam
falcons, though even he might have BACKED his
| boots and omitted the spurs. And fear did
not properly appreciate the rest of the fairies,
| who had their heads decorated with sun flow ers
and their hands full of onions.
| AT last the entertainment was concluded and
| remember consulting with my duplicated
friends to the feasibility of return to Brook.
/ lyn, TO our boarding house. On our journey
| thither we witnessed many strange things, about
| which desire Information In the first place
it is the custom, as general thing, for the City
Hall and Barnum Museum TO indulge in an an
lnated contra dance up and down Broadway in
the middle of the night, accompanied in their
fantastic movements by the upper story of Stew
arts and the Bible Society's building for they
certainly did, on that eventful evening and /
feel called on TO enter my solemn protest against
these nocturnal architectural exhibitions. as
| unworthy the dignity of the Empire City. And
| would with all humility suggest, that if the
stony goddess OF Justice, whose appropriate place
is OH the top of The City Hail. will desert her re-
sponsble post, she mil ht choose more becom-
ing amusement than sitting cross-legged OF. the
top OF tlouston street-stage, playing the Jews
| harp.
| am now convinced that Bowling green foun-
| tain is not permanently located on the top of
| Trinity Church cross; but that it was on that
memorable night. my wondering eyes bore am
| pie testimony. | am sufficiently we'll acquainted
with the city to know that the Astor House
should be found on the corner of Barclay street,
but am ready to take oath that on that particu-
lar occasion 1t plled as an opposition ferry boat
! between Whitehall street and Hamilton avenue
The last thing distinctly recollect is trying to
4 pay the fare tor three on this novel craft with
| single piece of money, (Which | nor know to
have been BunSown "copper" and demanding
| two-and-sixpence change. which didn't get.
| In the morning found myself in bed with my
| overcoat on, and afterwards discovered nv
boots under the pllow-my hat in the crate.
with my pantaloons and hair brush in it-my
bird cage. presume had tried to write
| found that article in my inkstand
! Now. If Croon water interferes with nv sus
ceptible system in this unaccountable manner.
what shall drink would resort to milk. but
fear city edition of the tactical contains
sufficient of the aqueous enemy to again Upset
my too delicate nerves. To you only can
come: and l exclaim, like Cieser, when he too
afflicted with superiority of water, ..Help
me, Cassius, o | sink.p | submit the case to
you. Relieve my anxiety it within your power
Hugely yours
@. K PHILANDER DoEsTICKs p. B.
Z. s. What would be the effect OF brandy
and water without any water and little lemon?
@. h. y. ID.