Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1854-07-20

Gorses Gofse. GoxE.-The reporter
Of the San Francisco Ne.rs furnishes
thst paper with the following report of
a speech made by a California Auction
eer:-
'Ladies and gentlemen, I now have
the honor of putting up fine pocket
handkerchief; yard wide, yard long.
and almost yard thick, one half cot
ton, and the t'other half cotton, too;
beautifully printed with stars and stripes
on one side, and the stripes and stars on
t'other; it will wipe dustfrom the eyes
so completely as 20 be death 70 dema-
gogues, and make politics as bad bus
mess as printing papers; its great length,
breadth and thickness, together with its
dark color will enable it to hide dirt,
and never need washing; going at one
dollar?--seventy-fye ce ents?--ffty
Icents?-twenty-fve cents?--one bit?-aI
No body wants it? OH thank you, sirl
"Next, gentlemen, for the ladies won't
be permitted to bid on this article, is
real simon pure, tempered, highly pol
ished, keen edged, Sheffield razor;-
bran spankin new; never opened before
to sunlight, moonlight, starlight, day
light, or gas-light; sharp enough to
shave lawyer, or cut a disagreeable
acquaintance, or poor relation; handle
of buck-horn; with all the riyets but
two at the ends, of pure gold; Who
will give two dollars? one dollarg half
dollar? Why, ye long-bearded, dirty
faced reprobates, with not room enough
en- your phizzes fol. Chinese woman
to kiss, I'm off'ring you a bargain at
half dollar! Well win throw in this
strap at half dollar!-razor and strap
"a recent patent; two rubs upon it will
sharpen the city attorney; all for four
bits; and piece of soap-sweeter than
roses; lather better than a school mas
ter; and strong enough to wash out all
the stain from a California politicians
countenance, all for four bits!-Why,
you have only to put the razor-strap
and soap under your pillow at night, to
wake. up in the morning clean shaved;
won't anybody give two bits then, for
the lot? l knew l would sell 'em.
Next, ladies and gentlemen, offer
three pair of socks, hose, stockings or
half hose, just as you've mind to call
them. Knit, by a machine made on
purpose, out of cotton wool; the man
that buys these will be enabled to walk
till he gets tired; and, provided his
boots are high enough, needn't have
any corn; the legs are as long as the
bills against the corporation, and as
thick as the heads of the members of
the Legislature; who wants 'em at one
half dollar?-thankee, madam, dollar?
Next, offer you a pair of boots;-
made especially for San Francisco,
with heels long enough to raise man
up to the Hoadley grades, and nails to
insure against being carried over by a
land slide; legs wide enough to carry
two revolvers and a bowie knife, and
the uppers of the very best horse leath-
er. A man in these boots can move
about as easy as the State Capital; who
says twenty dollars? All the tax-pay-
ers ought to buy pair, to kick the
council with; every body ought to have
pair to kick the Legislature with
and they will be found of assistance in
kicking the bucket; especially if some
body should kick at being kicked-ten
dollars for the legs, uppers and soulsl-
while souls, and miserable ones at that,
are bringing twenty thousand dollars in
Sacramento! ten dollarsl ten dollars!-
gone at ten dollarsl
Next is something that you ought
to have, gentlemen; lot of good gal
lowses, s,-sometimes called suspenders.
l know that some of you will after
awhile be furnished at States expense,
but you can't tell which one, so buy
where they're cheap; all that deserves
hanging are not supplied with gallows,
if so there would be nobody to make
laws, condemn criminals, or hang cul-
prits, until new election; made of pure
J. gum elastic-stretch like a judges con-
science,-and last as long as Califor-
] MIA Office holder will steal; buckles OF
pure iron, and warrented to hold so
tight that no mans wife can rob him of
the breeches; are, in short, as strong,
as good, as perfect, as effectual, and as
6ona5fde as the ordinance against Chi
nese shops on Dupont street-gone at
twenty-five cents"