Loudon free press. (Loudon, Tenn.) 1852-1855, 1854-06-13
For Loudun Free Press
Mr.. OBADIAH LIMPKiNo' GREEN
SPECkS.


A tale supposed to be founded on fdct-
By BUNG.
Mr. Obadiah Limpkins was much troubled
with weakness in the eyes, and likewise a
weakness in the-iegS twas going to say he0d,
but don't like to be particular about such mat
ters.l Mr.. Obadiah had model woman Tor
wife, "a lady of unimpeachable dimensions,
who stood III the rati0.ot two to one, by the
side of Mr.. h.. 50 that, instead Of being his
"6etter kait,i' she was his better by about two-
thirds, anu, consequently it may be immedi-
ately supposed by the reader that Mr.. L. was
frequently obliged to stand around and mind
hls eye
Matters and things in general we're in this
state, when our story is supposed to open,
in great agony. AS we remarked, Mr.. Obadiah
Limpkins was sorely vexed with weak aud 9TH
erwlse troublesome eyes, and so TO remedy
this defect, he concluded to purchase pair oi
green spectacles. With the optics perched
hautlly upon his probocis, did the unfortunate
Obadiah make his appearance before bis
blooming two-thirds.
well, Mr. Obadiah I.impkins' exclaimed
his loving spouse in wild disgust. "Well, II
YOU havl't been and got a pair of nasty, bottle
green specs; am astOnished; am more than
ilstOuishe,l-l am ashamed, yes, Mr.. Limpkins,
| am ashamed otyou; you will be laughing
stock for the whole CITY! You are going to
make shOlCpf yoursefI"
"Eh calculated the astonished Obadiah,
completely nonplussed at this i,ew philosophy
Hey! retorIed his better two thirds, yves
sir; | dare say you never thought of that. o,
the horrd things! Green! Ogh ~
Mrs. l.. didn't faint, but manifested per
feet willingness on her part to do so, had it
been possible.
Mr.. l.. thought perhaps the specs didn't set
well ON him that she objected.
"My eyes were growing SO weak" he expos
tulaied; and ! think they are a nice fit, don't
you, dear? Capitall'
"tiI? yesr' shouted Mrs. l.. "Fit for the
hogs!' after which Mrs. l.. stamped her feet
on the floor in n rage.
"Mr Limpkins?" she continued. ".lon't ron
dare, necer, sir, to he seen in my presence with
them horrld nasty green Spectacles on agah?
Take em off this instant, and let that be the
last"
80, yes yes said the wretched man,
meekly, taking the incOncious glasses from his
nose. after which be sirOked them aiirctionately
with his silk bandana, and placed them in his
lett waiStc6at pOcked. with deep drawn sigh.
Aud 50, for the present, the matter rested, and
a dcliclnuS calm enSued.
1t was not hong, however, afterward, that
the happy couple were walking down the street,
and Mr.. l.. took the opportunity to I4l! the
obnoxious glasses from his pocket, aud place
them over his peppers, hoping that. as they
were walking side BY side, she would not dis
cover them We forgot to sav in the proper
place, that Mr.. L. did wear his specs on all oc-
casions when his loving wife was not near to
chide him!
The walk was finished and as they reared
their house, Mr.. l.. cautiously removed the un-
discovered optics from his nose, and slipped
them unobserved into his waiStcuat pocket, af,
ter which he is supposed to have entered the
house, in perfect state of happiness, slightly
wh;srling yankee doodle, or Jordon.
"What dear duck of cloak Miss L. had
on Mrs. l.. first exclaimed. aid you notice
it?"
81 believe saw it. calmly replied Mr. l..
who knew well enough, by the manner in which
she commenced alking that she only wanted
to coax him over TO get similar garment for
herself
- Limpkinsl" T" she continued. "you'rp real
love of a man, don't you know you are?'
"YeS = doggedly replied Obadiah not dar-
ing to contradict his devoted twothirds; al.
though he knew it was lie.
Such beautiful blue velvet cloak, Mr.. l.,
-skv-blue! T.
"Greenl' Mr. L. begged leave to say "I be-
lieve II was green"
''Bess your soul Mr.. L. no; it was perfect
sky-bue. You know detest green
"Bnt, I'm sure it was green" persisted Mr..
L., firm in the right cause.
"Why, Mr.. l.. it was certainly blue. guess
| would know
81 know it was greenr gasped Mr.. j.. in
agony, willing to be martyr. if necessary, TO
TRUTH
"Mr Obadiah Limpkins y cried Mrs. L.,
growing brilliantly crimson in the face. show
dare you contradict me, sir; and persist in say
ing it was green, when knoU it was blue?
81 smedr it was greenl' exclaimed Obadiah,
still trembling with fear. Il be d."
"Limpknsl Limpkins r shouted the two-third
party in a very high key-"Don't you swear at
me Mr.. Limpkins, you. horrid man Don't YOU
insult me, you mean puppy, you! Remember
Tn rOmdn ~
Mr.. l.. trembled
you'll drive me mad, you william, with your
insulting impudeneel I"
"Mr. L. quakued.