The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1854-09-26

= ,rks in every department of instruction,
waich might take the place in Southern
,chools and families of the school books for
which the South il now dependent upon the
North. She has the talent and the energy
necessary for so great work. and would
hereby perform an invaluable service to her
native South.
HE BABY CoSvESTIoN.-The New York
Express says that to Ohio belongs the credit
If suggesting "a Great National Baby Con-
Venfion-that is to say, Fair at which the
inest specimens of that sort of domestic pro-
auctions are to be exhibited, and for which
he premiums customarily awarded at other
expositions of national industry are to be
duly distributed. The place devoted for this
unique affair are the grounds of the Clark
County Agricultural Society.
Three valuable prizes are to be conferred:
LIST, On the finest child not over two years of
age; I'd, An equal one TO the finest child not
exceeding two years of age; Sd, An equal
prize on the finest child not exceeding one
year of age. There is no limitation of COM
petition, except that the candidates for the
prizes shall be native Americans
: 1t seems to us that the above description of
the prize child is rather vague and indefinite.
The '.inest child is to take the prize. And
pray what do you mean by Finest? The
definition of ''fne," as laid down by the great
Yankee photographer, DR. Webster, who, OF
course, is authority in Ohio, is-"Small, thin;
slender; minute; of very small diameter; sub
tile; tenuous; keen; smoothly sharp made of
fine threads; clear; pure; free from feculence
or foreign matter; refined; nice; delicate; sub
tie; SLY; fraudulent; elegant; accomplished;
very handsome; beautiful with dignity; ac-
complished in learning; amiable; noble; ingen-
uous; snowy; excellent" Now, before you
get people to send their babies to that
Convention, let them know which Of these
numerous meanings you attach to the word
'.;fne." Do you mean that you will give the
prize to the smallest baby, the veriest little
ghost of baby to little spirit almost naked
of the flesh covering and ready to cast off the
mortal chrysalis for the immortal wings e.
Are you in search of a baby as fine as fine
cambria thread; or, do you mean by fine
baby, fat baby, regular dumping, stout,
jolly, broad-shouldered baby full of vim and
frolic, and bidding fair to live century? Or
do you mean subtle" "sly," "artful' baby
one who has already given evidence of be-
coming a Zine man in sharp business com
Youp;fv7 If hot ha no dofip;tion thora ui1
not be many delegates to the Baby Conven-
ton. TIE period of life required for eligi-
bility to that Convention is about the only
one which is wholly free from that kind OF
qualification for q prize. We suspect that
the managers though are "ine' fellows, in
this sense of the term, or they would never
have used an expression in Offering prize
which may mean any thing or nothing, as
policy may dictate.
If by the "fnest baby is meant the "hand-
soonest" baby, who is to decide that question,
and what is to be the standard of beauty +?
On no subject is there greater variety Of
opinion than on that of beauty. DR.. Web
ster, the great Yankee authority aforesaid,
defines beauty as "an assemblage of graces,
or an assemblage of properties in the form of
the person or any other object which pleases
the eye; particular grace, feature or orna-
ment, beautiful person But what 'spleases
the eye'' of one man does not necessarily or
often "please the eye" of another man.
There are almost as many ideas of beauty as
there are individuals. Every mother, who
looks down upon the little, helpless, trusting,
loving being in her erms, sees that which
to her is the impersonation of beauty. But
the judges at the Buckeye Fair might differ
from her in opinion. The only conclusion we
can come to as to the meaning attached by
the Ohio judges to the word finest" is fat
test. heauiest, and they can only decide be-
tween rival candidates by taking them to the
scales and weighing them like beef and NUT
ton.
The EIpress recommends Miss Lucy
Stone, Rev. Antoinette Brow n, and other mas
culine female humbugs, to honor the Con-
vension with their presence, just to see what
it is to be the owner of a baby. The Erpress
is wasting its eloquence upon deaf ears and
obdurate natures. It viii have no more
fructifying effect than refreshing shower of
rain upon a granite quarry. What would
Stone, Brown & Company do with baby7-
While Stonewas offlecturing, Brown preach
ing, and Company frolicing what would be-
come of the brat7 Where would it get its
daily milk, and who would prattle to it and
attend to its toilet, land sing lullaby to it? Why
of course, say the strong-minded women the
daddy would attend to these things. Unhap-
Ply wretch! We think we see him at it, pin
ming up diapers, and administering Jayne's
Carminative; his eye, meantime, ain fine
frenzy rolling" Ye Gods! "To what base
uses must we come, Horatio."
The RIGHT GRoUND.-The Richmond
Wing of Saturday denounces, with just in
dignation, the proceedings of the Wing State
Convention of New York, and utters, in our
opinion, the universal sentiment of Southern
Wings, when it says:
We, for one shall never be found willing to sac.
rihce further one jot title of the rights of the
South for the sake Of keeping on terms with any
party and we are not apprised that we stand
alone in this determination IL In the sebtinnent