Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1854-07-21
A!isrfllanruus.
Wanted a Wife--A Capital
Hoax.

At10ul " WIZ AsCt0o -'a~'
curry, setting forth matrimonial
views and intentions of gentleman
of 81. The proffered engagement
was taken up by some parties resi-
dent in Leeds, and a correspondence
which covered a period of several
weeks, ensued, the ideal fair one
writing under the assumed name OF
Hey"
More than twenty letters-one
containing The dupe's Photograph
passed through the post-office upon
the all-absorbing theme, in course OF
which the gentleman, who resides
in London, and whom in mercy we
shall call Mr.. Simple, made great
efforts at the sentimental, one of the
letters closing with rhapsody If
resistible in its effects upon the rlsi-
/ Bile faculties of the hoaxers. The
correspondence showed, as nigh,
be expected, that the motive of Mr..
Simple in advertising was mercena-
ry. The attraction in his instance
was said to be $ll0 per annum, and
this Mr.. Simple deemed "quite sat-
isfactory" and induced him "to
pledge his word" to be faithful. A
few days after this explanation of
his views, Mr.. Simple entered upon
a correspondence with Miss Emf
ly B, of Halifax, little thinking
that this supposed young lady and
Miss Hey, of Leeds, were one and
the same person. The bait in this
instance was a clear income of E20O
per annum, and Mr.. Simple accord
ingly declared his intention in favor
of the E20O. Miss b. was now all
his aim; but, alas his hopes were
soon quashed in that quarter. "Miss
Hey's" star was consequently again
in the ascendant. 1.-The course OF
true love never did run smooth"
so it happened in this instance. Mr..
Simple's hopes and fears were now
alternately swayed till the climax Of
the affair, when delicate hints at an
elopenent were proposed by his
now "Dear Louisa" and most
warmly responded to. This was
the prelude TO the meeting which
came off with all due eclat at Kir-
stall Abbey, notwithstanding some
sleepless nights were passed by MIR.
Simple. The thing was not effect
ed, however, without the selection
of a second resort of peculiar retira-
cy which Mr.. Simple's foresight
dictated to him in case of accident.
THE Oaks near Kirkstall," was
accordingly sent him. BY the side
of the river they were engaged to
meet, and long before the appointed
hour Give p. m. the lover would be
seen perambulating its banks with
pocket handkerchief in hand, which
was previously agreed upon as the
signal of recognition. His " dear
Louisa soon made her appearance,
accompanied by her supposed father
and brother. The introduction now
took place, and Mr.. Simple was du-
ly apprised the "storm was over"
The so called Mr.. Hey now assum-
ed his position as father, all inter-
esting conversation ensued, Mr. Sim
Pile descanting largely upon his
views, prospects and intentions. OPP
portunity was now given to the
two to walk alone. This Mr.. SIM
pie eagerly embraced, and now the
words of fondness and endearment
so natural under such circumstances
began to pour forth. He was now
Fastening to the most thrilling of all
anesiions Mr. Simple wished the
nuptials to be celebrated within 9
week but no, it could not be, as
ladies require time for preparation
An hour and half was thus spent,
when adjournment for refreshment
was proposed and carried. Mr.
Simple said he would take anything
il did not matter what, for now he
had got all he desired, for if he
searched the kingdom over he could
not have found one to surpass his
Dear Louisa"
The moment was now approach
ing when all Mr.. Simple's dreams
were to vanish, and the startling re.
ality 10 be revealed. A very large
company of Heys" had assembled
in another room, as Mr.. Simple had
already been informed, and were
waiting to receive him. He was
accordingly introduced amidst pro-
found silence. A fash of suspicion
seemed TO cross him as he entered
but he quietly took his seat His
health was then drunk with all the
honors-toasts and sentiments were
showered upon him. His feeling
of suspicion seemed every moment
to be increasing, when one of the
company with kno wing look ask
ed Mr.. Simple " if he had yet beer
up TO the Oaksf He said he hac
not. "Then (replied the tormen
ter, allow me to inform you, sir
that you are at the hoax now"
A scene of laughter and confusion
followed which beggars all descrip'
ton, and during which poor Mr.
Simple made several Intellectual at
tennis 10 get away. Order was