The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1854-06-14
To Fanny Fern :

woman's heart bsating within your bod
Ice. have mercy on a suffering public
A "dish of herbs" (the Bible tells us) i.
a good thing; but there is no authorit,
(which sanctions the rehashing of it un
til the original flavor is entirely lost
Since the great success of Tern LcaecS
nearly all scibblcdom seems to have run
Fern mad. That ten thousand dollars
you have made within the past year. has
doubtless boon much comfort to you; but
l am afraid it will be the death of some
OF the rest of us. 1t has brought out
such host of imitators that tho whole
country is now swamped with Fern and
,eater, through which 1, for one, have
iioundered long enough. This must be
stopped, else originality will become cx.
tlnct among us, and the bump of 'inita-
tion" will be the only thriving organ up
on our carniums.
Such names too, do now constantly
stare at us from every printed thing.
Nothing but "Jessies' and "Jennies,'
"Fannies" and "Annics," "Minuies" and
"W lnnles," with some allitcrativc her.
baceous pseudonym fishcd out of the
botanical vocabulary, carefully selected
with reference to sound but without the
slightest regard to sense. And Fanny
these satellites, content with the twi-
light radiance borrowed from the cen.
tral luminary around which they rcvolve,
parody the titles Of your articles, par.
ody your stories, your plots, your nara
tive, you punctuation, your denounce-
nte'ttS, and hash and re-hash your Ian
guage and ideas, until the mind sickens
at the universal, wishy-washy, initiative
od.-Passd through their muddy
minds, your hoalthful satire becomes i'm.
pudont vulgarity; your graceful audaci-
ty, silly impertinence; your winsomo
Tenderness, unsupportable pdthoS; your
sparkling wit, opaque stupidity; your
nervous strength, the most painful i'm.
becelity; aud with Such trash is the
goodnaturcd public constantly afflicted
Even news paragraphs and city items,
from the elopcmcnt Of a California wild
ow to the demolition Of gingerbread
stall, must now be made TO read Fern.
ish. And then the titles of new books:
nothing but "Wrea.hs" or "Shcathcs."
or Leaves" or "Garands,n or Buds"
or BLOSSOMS" will answer; and the con.
tents are too apt TO be only the same cv-
rehash, done up in new en-.
velope--the same sickening potions Of
Fan"y fern and acatcr.
And now, Fanny, you have gone and
written another book.--a Second .Sel ics !
Heaven Eelp us OF course [ would
not take cent out of your purse. but
- regret the announcement that thir.
ty thousand copies of that Second Sc
RES have already been sold-within six
days after its publication. This will
bring out the whole tribe of imitators
afresh. We shall be buried ten thou
sand fathons deep, under all sorts of
hered,sccntloss ''leaves and ''sheathes.
and "wreaths." and buds" and "blos,
SONS" Now excuse my bluntncss, Fan
ny, but you must stop writing. We
don't care what your name is, or who
you are, or where you are, or what you
are As for that matter. YOU are prob
ably lineal descendant of one of the
Salem witches; you certainly know how
to use broomstick; but let that pass.
All we ask is, that you hold up. That
you give us no moro racy paragrahs, no
more skctchy stories, no more heart.
stirring tales. If you will take
twelvomonth's holiday, all these imita.
tors will perish for lack of material, aud
we shall breathe again. Therefore, | re-
peat it, you must stop. And if you will
not Leave" of, you must be chokod off
-(excuse the word "Choko"-it is SO
patti and in that event, Fanny, should
like to have the strangling of you my
self
Respectfully, but inaexibly,
Your Friend.
A GENERAL READER.