The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1854-02-09
How to Spoil a Spirited Wife.

.ss HOW TO Sp0II u SplItcu "hcs
What did you speak in that way toyour
wife for, young MANI" asked old Uncle
Rogers of his nephew.
Because it's fun to see her spark up
replied the hopeful Benedict like to
make her eyes shine, and her round cheeks
grow red as any damask rose. And it's
quite tragic the way she puts her little
foot down and dsays "s-i-r" By themuses!
if you had staid long enough, Uncle, I'd
have shown you queen. You've no idea
how grandly she tosses back her fierce
little head, OF with what a Dido-like air she
wrings those delicae hands of hers. It
quite breaks the monotony of life to get up
such tempest and blue sky. And SO, as
l know she owns this spunkly temper, I
just touch it up with the spur-matrimonial
and let it gallop till see fit to rein in.''
"I've as good mind to root out that
apling, Hal and used it over your should
sers, as | had this morning to eat my break
fast before you spoiled my appetite. You
are taking the surest way to ruin merry
strung organization. Saving your pre-
sence, I despise tina man who thus hampers
with a passionate but living spirit. Look
at your wife--how delicate her beauty!
Look at your household-the very temple
of taste and neatness. The little fxings
on the mantle, the fringing and tasseling
here and there give a touch beyond the
common to your humble furniture, That
lounge that lends SO grand an air to your
parlor, had set down for no less than a
fifty-when 10! it turns out that five dol
lars and woman's ingenuity, deceived an
old, experienced upholsterer like myself.
Then look at the vines she has trained,
the flowers she has planted, that lean tow
ard her when she approaches them as if
she was their guardian angel. Why;
Hal, is it possible that possession of such
a being as this tempts you to an absurdity
that will surely end in destruction of your
domestic happiness?''
"You are mighty serious about this lit
tie thing, Uncle.'
@serious? Unfortunately, I am some
thing more-a victim to my own indul-
gence in a. similar infatuation. You have
heard'-here Uncle Rorgers gave a great
sigh-t'that I am not at home Ny own
fault every bit of ill!'' and the old man
gave Mother Eearth a savage blow with
his.cane. eff man marries an angel,
and torments her into fiend, who's to
blame but himself? Ny wife was very
handsome, and as you say, spunky.-
There never needed to have been a warm
word between us; but [ liked to see her
angry. I liked to see the delicate nostrils
expand-the large bright eyes seintilate
sparks of fre-but did it just once toe
often. I know the very time that anger
raised the final barrier of opposition, and
that nice sense. of right became an exact
ing and imperious tormenter. And now
your uncle is driven from the home of his
nephew, where he hoped for peace, and
tortured with the fresh opening of ole
wounds. tell you, Hal, you will spoi
your wife-you will ruin her, it's no
manly-it's burning shame;;'' and the
old mans thin lips quivered with excite
ment.
He said nothing then, but when he re
turned he ground his pride between his
teeth and begged his wife's pardon.
"I'll never taunt you for fun again
Carry" he said in low tone And sh,
replied, as she hid her fearful face in hi
bosom - 5.+~-i
"I am SO quck, SO passionate-but nev
er began it; and you have been SO noble
that I will try and conquer this hasty
temper. "But Hail." she added, rough
ly shaking her curls in his face, ,'*wha
will you do for your queen? what vii
become of Dido, tragedy, &c, eh?''
The husband blushed. { contend tina
a man looks handsome when he bushes
and kiss sealed the reconciliation.
To-day, after forty years of welded
life, Hal boasted that he remembers bu
once making up after a storm, and thai
was away back in the honey moon. Ever
since he has had still waters and a steady
voyage; and Rogers, who died years agc
peace be with his ashes--used to cal
Halls home paradise On earth.
CoRPULENcE A CRIME-Mr. Cruce, il
his Classic and Historical Portraits, speak:
Of the dangers Of becoming too fat il
Sparta:
''The ancient Spartans paid as mucl
attention to the rearing of men, as the
cattle breeders in modern England to the
breeding of cattle. They took charge o
/ the frmness and looseness of mems flesh
and regulated the degree of fatness t.
which it was lawful, in a free State, fol
anv citizen to extend his hodv Thos,