Columbia gazette., 1854-02-25

each, as occasion required, but alway,
concluded with "the way Of transgrez.
sors is hard; poor Mrs A. or 3. (as the
case was) pity her from the bottom o.
my heart,' or some such very soothing
reflection. Aunt Lizzy was always very
fond OF asking strangers and others:
without regard to time Or place, "the
state Of their minds; how they enjoyed
their minds" &c. These questions
were generally followed by string OF
scandal, which was calculated to destroy
the peace and happiness Of some of her
best neiehbors and frionds. But she,
like other narrators Of this kind, consid-
cred such intellectual murder as either
establishing her own fair reputation, or
as the only mode Of entertaining the vii
lage, and thereby rendering society
agreeable.
One warm summer afternoon, as the
Squire was sitting near his Office door,
smoking his pipe, Aunt Lizzy was pass
ing by with great speed, Illuminating or
the news of the day, when the Squire
brought her suddenly to, as the sailors
say. by "what's your hurry, aunt Lizzy,
walk in" TIE old lady, who never
wanted second invitation, went into
the office, and the following dialogue
soon commenced:
"Well, Squire P, I have been think
ing this forenoon what useful man you
might be, if you'd only leave off your
light conversation, as the good book says
and become a serious man-you might
be an ornament to both church and
state, as our Minister says"
""hy, as to that, Aunt Lizzy, a
cheerful countenance I consider as the
best index of grateful heart, and you
know wha. the Bible says on the sub
ject-"When ye fast, be not as the hyp-
ocrites ola sad countenance; but anoin:
thy head ard wash thy face, (aunt Liz
~ began to feel for her pocket hand
kerchief, for she was taker of snuff, }
that thou appear not unto men to fast. y
"Now, w,thare, Squire-that's just what
| told you-see how you have scripter
at your tongues end, what an useful
| man yoa might be in our church, ifycu'd
only b, a dooer as well as hearer Of the
word"
Gas to that, aunt Lizzy, I don't see
! that you professors, as you call them,
are Whit better than am, in private
respect sincere professor as much as
any man; but / know enough Of one OF
Jour church, whom you think grca;
| deal Of, to know that she Ii not better
than she should be!''
At these inuendoes, Aunt L;zzy lit
lie black eyes began 10 twinkle; she sa.
down beside the Sluire, in order to
speak n lower tone--spread ner hand
izerchicf over her lap and began to tar
the cover Of her snuff box in true style
and all things being in readiness for a
regular seigc OF "scandaiulA magnatum,' ,
she commenced fire
Now, Squire, ] want to know vhai
yon mean By one ofou, church. know
who you nean-the t:ollop--I didn't
like so many carls about her head, whcr
she told her experience"
| The Squire fading curiosity vas put
ting his bests On, had no occasion TO add
spurs to the heels, for the old lady had
ore in her head that was worth both OF
them. Accordingly, he had no peace
until he eonseested TO explain what lie
meant BY the expression en- priyate''-
this was dear word with aunt Lizzy.
| 1'Now, aunt .izzy, viii you take a
Bible oath, that you will never commu-
nicate what [ am about to tell YOU to a
living being, and that you will keep i,
while you live as most inviolable Sc.
cret:'
eyes, Squire, I declare won't ncv-
cr tell nobody nothing about it as long
as I breathe the breath of life; and III
take Bible oath on it; there, sartin as
live, Squire, before you or any othe,
mag istrate in the whole country
"Well, then, you know when I went
up to Boston year ago'''
| Yes, yes, Squire, and I know who
went with you, too-Susey B. and Dol
ly T., and her sister Prudence"
"Never mind who went with me,
aunt Lizzy, there was whole lot of pas
sengers-but, but"
None of your butts, Squire-out with
lit folks will act se-a trellop-''
but aunt Lizxy, I'm afraid you'll
bring me into the scrape-''
I've eeid you over and over again,
that nobody never shall know nothing
aooat It and your wife knows I ant
leaky--"
MY wife! I wouldn't have her know
what I was going to say for the world
why, aunt Lizzy, if she should know
it,
"Well, don't be afear'd, Squire, once
if,r all, I'll take M cath that no living