Muscatine journal. [volume] (Bloomington, Iowa) 1849-185?, 1854-04-07

- vocalist says he could sing "Way Down on
'bs Old Tar Rive" if 10 could only get the pitch.
- Yankee has invented machine for extract
ing the lies from qusek advertisements. Some Of
them are never seen after entering the machine,
only he truth comes ont. --
"A chap was asked what kind Of a"sal " no
preferred fer wife. he replied, zone that wasn't
podi-sal, but frugal and true GAL and one that
suited bis coyu-gal TASTE"
- The following question il now up for debate
before the Tlllitud,um Lyesum: (Which is the hap
piest-a Niger at dance, or four clean pigs in a
dirty mud puddle" We shall Issue the decision a
soon as received, and a. much earlier possible.
- ALLIrERArIvE.-A phriend, phesling phun-
nily phiguratiye, FURNISHES the phollowing:
"4ty Atunats 4.stes cautiously 4tifying 4lor.
4trssscs, 4cibly 4bads 4ty 4midabe 4signers aiming
4aging Aces"
- lew method Of saving leather and station
cry has been invented "out west" by editors. They
write their articles with stolen chalk on the soles Of
their boots and 60 barsfootsd while the copy is setting
up.
- boy at Latin School, in reciting q lesson in
the classics the other day, gave the pssage "Ponp
eius clam ct mGte, Cesar palm ct i.fediu," the fol-
lowing bold and spirited rendering: "Pompey ate
CLAIMS BY night Cesar BY the pailful and in the day
tme.'
- Harrisburg paper gives ease of absence Of
MIND thus: "a sri whs was one Of our frat loves,
was one night lighting rs out, after having passed
dsghtful evening, and in bashful trepidation, she
blew Us out Of the door and drew the eandesiek be-
had the door and kissed it,
- SHARP SHoorMa.-A shallow headed coxcomA
having received psrsmptOry nay in answer from
young lady to whom, in spite Of the most significant
hints thsths attentions were not agreeable, he had
popped the question" declared that shs woudnx
ive-hs would blow his brains out !" "'Twill be
glorious shot you hit them said she, q she turned
upon her heel eontsmptususIy, and left the room.
- TAKING asRxAH-At tabk d,hote IN q
iogne' manufactures Of Sheffield, says the Leeds In
telgenosr who spoke nothing bat English, was seat
ed next German LADY Who did not speak it 1t all.
Handing her plate Of peaches, he said, "Haye
Pcach, uarm!" "Nsinr' (no,) replied the lady
'Nsne said be, staring with astonishment, Arst At
her and then = the Other guests at the table "why,
marin, there's only six in the dish but there thew are
Tor you, 1t the Same time rolling them upon her
plate.
- TRAvELISG.-A strong, lasy fellow, who pre-
fsrrsd begging to work, called on gentleman in the
city and asked for "cold viotaals and old clothes
The man asksd what be did for living.
"Not much, said the fellow, 'sxospt travelling. -
Travelling! Then you can travel pretty we'll Z"
Dob yes" said The beGgar, SIm very good 1t that
"Wsll, thsn," said the gentleman, coolly opening
the door, "let's sss you travel 20
We have received an article of poet,v dsdio.t-
Cd to Miss D.. which for hrilliaaoy Of thought
beauty Of conception, and exalted poetic TASTE exoe
sAythng OF the kind with which We have been favor
"a; but 1t being too isnghy to publish, No give the
concluding stansss:
I've seen her cut wslkin'
In her habits Ia RUE.
And it amt no use talkin'
She's pumpkins and "fev;"
She g'idee along in beauty,
Like duck upon lake.
D! I'D b all love and duty,
1t only was her DaAK.!
--"Ginger."
"Sah.''
when am dat racs to come of, dat dar 70 much
talk 'bout?"
"What race! hasn't heard of any great race"
'Ds human raoe, do great human race is to come
III fore long"
"Yah, yah, yah ysu de biggest fool ebbsr saw.
ia DE- rid; de inhabitants"
"Who eid you SOL"
81 alters kiow'd il, ard so did every b,dy else I'm.
you, sHdy'u. are the duwhest n,gger ehtar saw. /
wish Cat every body bad iainin' 20 dat they vuuldn,
e0eosr with such foolish question:"