Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1854-09-23


cation of their want of brains and their acting
thus is nothing but foolish attempt to ape the
barbarian Ninnies," that from time to time
are thrown upon our shores Though keeping
aloof from all society, it seems they have sworf
eternal hatred towards the hapless clan, the
Suckers" whom they constantly pursue, and
in so doing show off to the beholder their beau
tful gyrations to great advantage. They are
also the best dancers of the P,scator Polka in
all our dominions. The s'slight" of this polka
consists in jumping about FIVE feet more or less
from the surface into the air, head foremost, at
an angle Of about seventy-fve degrees, the,,
make graceful shake with the extremity, turn
round presto, and plunge, head downward, al
any given depth in salt water. This polka they
only perform, and in spite Of themselves, when
ever they are caught by the ''lords of creation.
at pifering certain delicacies appended from
an iron hook; but it is rare occurrence that d
shaker" is fully captured.
THE SINGING FILIBUsTEIs.
This tribe are the vandals of the land, with
whom we are at constant war, war to the knife.
Like their ancient prototypes, they cause desc
lation and despair wherever they go. A north
cru breeze will throw whole cargoes on our
shores, and the conflict that ensues causes more
bloodshed and bumps than Wellington ever
dreamed Of And, strange to say, in the midst
Of bloody strife they continue their incessant
song. The music only ceases when they make
a thrust against an adversary and draw blood.
At such a moment all their energies are concen-
trated to one point, and their war-song for the
time being is hushed. Would you believe it, oh
ye outsiders, that no sooner than these Filibus-
ters touch our soil than they present nyriads of
their most extortionate bills to cur subjects for
debts that have never been contracted? Yet
| such is the case, and hence the contest. The
garotta has a salutary effect upon common Fill
busters; but the pirates that infest our lahds
are of such peculiar construction that strangu-
latlon is out of the question; for it is next to
lmpossbility for any contriyance to catch hold
Of the rascals throats. We would therefore
again inform future Sub, that the best and
most successful weapon against these lawless
vagabonds are fire and faggots 1t is cruel
weapon, but in this case success only lies in
cruelty. Cases may occur where you have to
halloo ''enough" In such an emergency re-
cline yourself on your couch, pray to the Moon,
keep fender Of lattice-work between you and
your enemies, and let them do their worst. We
are happy to say that this year we have not
been visited thus far by the Singing Filibusters;
only some small accommodating parties have
been reported. 1t is conjectured that they
turned their attention to the newly discovered
countries called California and Nebraska,
(among the infdels). May the blessed Moon
keep them there forever.
| THE sNEAKs, .r
Are natives of our Island, and like the former
tribe, are great annoyance to the peace and har-
mony of our people. In size, they are dwarhsh
which encourages them to sneak upon the sslords
of creation in the darkness of night, like bugs,
and torment them without mercy or intermis-
sion. To make war upon these villains would
be waste of ammunition, for their size is their
protection Fortunately, their assaults upon
our inhabitants few are far between.
TIE prETIsrs.
This is our favorite tribe. They are we'll
behaved, industrious and orderly people. As
their name implies, religion is of paramount
Importance with them. At low tide thousands
may be seen winding their way towards their
faYorite doschettos to make their devotims. The
| mode of worship may be thus described: The
Patriarch and his Elders, who are distinguished
by their taller stature, repair to little elevation
10 the forest; the Patriarch occupies the sum-
mit the Elders are below him, and the congre-
CATION surrounds the mound. All is now as
quiet as Quaker meeting. Presently the Pa
triarch commences raising his arm skyward,
making graceful motion as if beckoning his
congregation to follow suit. One after the other
Of the Elders answers the call, and in few
seconds the whole assembly is devoutly engaged
in doing the same. There is no ostentation, no
showing off Of bonnets and shirt collars, no dis
play of high sounding oratory without any
meaning, attended to it, but silent, sober, heart
felt devotion. At the return of the tide they
repair peaceably to their subterraneous habi-
tations. Reports have been received that on
their way home that sometimes they would fight
but we discarded them as insidious SANDER
\ nf 1r,$
only two fingers on the remaining one, they are
natural Ole Bulls on the catgut. We desire that
| the Sub should cultivate friendly relations with
our friends, the Pietists.
There are numerous other tribes, not to men,
ton the Bivalves, the Crabo-Sablos, the Crabo-
Pattie, the Crickton's, the Roachites, the
must suffice for the purpose intended. The Sub
will be more fully informed on his arrival, by
word Of mouth.
~ DUTIES OF THE SUB.
l. At the rising of the morning star, the Sub
will bring to our betlchamber one-half tumbler
| Of acqua fontana, one spoonful Of saccharine
| family.
2. He viii then make decoction of pure
Mocha.
:. He will repair and capture some Of the
"Suckers" that dared to invade our territory
during the night, just to convince them that we
are the all-powerful Finn Fon-B Boo, Of course.
4. The time having arrived to make the morn
ing calls among my Scarlatinos, it will be the
duty Of the Sub to propel our state carriage
on such occasions until certain gray animal
that perambulates our dominions can be cap-
tured. After the usual salutations and the mat
ters Of state have passed and been discussed, it
is the etiquette Of our court that some Of the
Scarlatinos should be invited to the palace
Whenever this happens, it is IN ancient custom
that the Sub should conduct the mobiles to the
kitchen and have them properly attended to and
dressed up Q Ia choacder fashion ere they be
admitted into the presence Of the Governor
The rest Of the day is passed as fancy or stom-
ach may dictate-Jf We except little patching,
little mending and enthusiastically little
blGnchr
s. It is desirable that the Sub should furnish
himself with certain ingenious contrivance
with which the outside barbarians, when visit
ing our shores, kidndp the Suckers,