Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1854-07-13
scENE INA PRINTING OFFICE.

''Here, You Mister! Did you print that pa
per :"
"Why- Ayes perhaps. What then 2"
"How came you for to go for to put in that
lie about my aunt p
"Pray point it out"
"Here tits, (reads) Il warn all person
against harboring mywile Dorothy-as she has
behaved in very unbeeoming manner &c.
Now what do you mean py printing such Ii
bellous stuff, Ell ("
"0' know nothing abour your aunt Doro-
thy. You must settle the matter with your
Uncle Ruhab, who signs the notice."
al must, must Well Pll see about it."
"I say, Mr. Editor', why don't you blow up |
that nuisance that lies here in the street under
your own nose, forever %
at is enough for me TO smell it. Good
morning."
Can get you to advertise a lot of things
| I've got to sell I"
"Oh yes-is the advertisement ready"
"No-can't you write it for me III tell you
what they are. Though, come to think of it, |
must 20 AMI see if they are all there. You
can write, 'spose 2"
"The paper is nearly ready for press"
| WeIl--Pll be back in an hour or two"
"What the old Hary's the reason you don't
send my paper" =.
'Tt's the carriers fault-and his name is
Peter not Harry"
"But if he don't stop and leave it next time,
l will-thats ALL"
"Oh, don't-the error shall be corrected."
s'You didn't report my sloop, Mister. TIte
sloop Kettle Bottom, from Clam Harbor, Cap.
tain Rakes, with cargo ofquawhogS-arrlved
last Sunday"
"That was after the last paper was print
ed"
"But you might have cot il in, forwe laid off
and on a while twenty four hours"
80, yes. we might; but you should have
got in first"
"Please let me look at your files-say about
twenty or eighteen months back. lwant to find
when old Mrs. Colt died, and who settled her
estate"
''By all means. There they are, sit down."
"But you've got better eye-sight than L.
Just look over them for me. 1t won't take
more than an hour or so. You see never
knew she was dead, you know-and | expect
some of her property" -.
sThen you should have taken the papers,"
"Well, now and then borrow one at the
next door, to send off to cousin Malachi-and
that answers my turns"
"You must stop my paper after to-day. l
e have so much to do that can spare no time to
!. read it,"
: sDiscontinue my paper ifyou please, from
I. dale. Times are so dull that must retrench.
v Sixpence a week comes to whole dollar IN
II three months"
x "Stop sending our pnper-Fathers zone to
: the Sou-West Indies, and mother SENDS him
e all the news"
s "Don't send any more papers toPeter GrieV'
Z Gus up in the county,
: "Bnt who pays his bill He is three year
in arrears" ..
IS srVell, can't help it. You'd better write
Is to him again. Maybe he'll pay, if he can"
m "Thal name in the Marriage last weei
re wasn't spelt right. 1t should have been Me
a hitable, not Mehitabel Just alter it neT
Dt time"
ID "O-to be sure. five hit the belle, well
Is apologize"
er "Mr. Printer-My great Uncle died thre
Is weeks ago, and you never noticed IT."
chow should record the event without be
lie ing furnished with the necessarypa particulars =
IN s'Bu. | thought you knew everything"
er "This knew, that his stingy heir woul
r have sent the requisite information to the ofilc
had he been aware that such notices are pup
lc lished gratis"
re "Will there be war e"
rs 81 guess not."
lis "Can have some handbils struck off &
have brought on q collection OF wax hgure
th as large as life. -,
er The witch of Enlor, King Richard with
It. crooked shin and all the other great men,
= Please make out flaming sheet, about wv
n feet long, all full Of print. WharA be IN
eS damage %
lis "Two or three dollars, probably."
ty "Oh !sabominable Why, never give Dt
e. a dollar"
as "Sister-brother wadst you to give her
Id spoonful Of printers Ink to put on a ring
II wormb."
Just call on the apprentice in the prlntln
h Office he'll give you Some."
on "What, Jid Colds, in there Z"
if eyes, yes. But first step into the back-yal
and blow your brains out-then goto the.
or
of rPBeuer wait on the cook than on the doc
II, tor.
'S' Better lose supper th'n take physic.
at The comic almanac says: "It takes thre
springs to make one leap year."
. Hope, a sentiment exhibited in the wag Of
us dogs tail, when he is waiting for bone,
'at
he Children and chickens must always be bicl
lie ing.
ed Drink wine and have the goutj drink non
Gu and have it too.
Eat little at Dinner, less at supper, slet
ed uloft, and live long.
nc QTPunch says-"Little children are u
;,n vn lilies of the valleys Of life."
The obstinate juryman who persisted
lat standing Gut all night, was badly troSt-bItte
80 A title is frequently nothing more than t
30 crest stamped on silver spoon.
TILL Fast men, like fast rivers, ere generally t
ar shalloweSt
.re vie Good intentions, like the waxen wings
~ learus, melt with the morning sun.
ing The lady who made dash has since broug
sat her husband TO full stop.
emf e The larger the school fund the less the pr
oil. on allowance.
Men of profound thoughts and earne
less minds are at great disadvantage with t
In public.
nss Love, charity and science can alone make
es- happy and tranquil in this worlc.
ud- A godly life is the strongest Argument Ii
he .k,tt