Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1854-03-22
DAILY EVENING STAR,
"AURICULAR CONFESSIONS,
How the Irishman Paid for his Potatoes

| AAv" @Ai0 Anum6n f6lu for MS f0tatoee
A hundred years have not vet bee
devoured by time since gentleman live
IN the 50 clear air" of Tipperary, in Ire
land, proverbially y noted for his utter dis
like of the late Mr.. O. 'Connell, and mos
holy hatred of auricular confession.
Many a bitter pang it cost him to see hi
tenantry, as he used to remark, tn
"dupes Of that Kerry Agitator." Ye
while the times were good and the pota
toes sound, they paid him his rent-sen
their tribute to the Repeal Association
and with light hearts, but blistered feet
followed O'Connell form Cashel to Nal
low, and from Mallow to Lismore. shout
ing repeal and swapping their fingers a
mustachoid dragons and bloody peel, rs
Well, it happened to be on a fine clea,
morning IN the month of October, 1874
the very season for digging the potatoes
that our Tipperary gentleman had a mum
Der of men employed for the same pur
pose. Jumpers, were leaping from
the earth without blight from the eartl
without blight or speck, at every probe
OF the spade, F" Pink Eyes" Quarries, ,
Farmers, and of as many other names
as would puzzle Homer, though he mum
| bered the Grecian fleet.
Towards evening he strolled out and
came to take survey of his workmen
and examine if they had worked suffi.
clent for the eight pence Sixteen cents
each he was to give them. He saw the,
had' or at least he was satisfied, and his
heart was right glad, for the world was
going right we'll with him.
He talked familiar with those moo,
workmen, and in his joy the aristocrat
was for moment laid aside. He mt his
hand in his pocket and drew forth the
Dublin Evening Mail, and read therefrom
most violent leader" in which the
gentlemen of Cancellation Hall were paid
their quota of abuse for that week. Now.
this Dublin Evening Mail was one of th,
most scurrillous, buffooning periodicals
that printers devils ever set hands upon
Sun 1t delighted our gentleman, because
1t lashed O'Connell and the papists-
though the editor used once to make tn,
sign of the cross himsel-and he was
just after emptying his protoscis of a
cargo of Lundy Foote'S snuff, before read
ing for them, when one who acted as
spokesman, broke in with "there1l be a
station at Ned Pinder's tomorrow. yer
honor, and the men ses they'll be want.
ing to 60 to confession"
There was dead pause. Had a whirl.
wind carried away the potatoes of the
whole year, he might have borne it with
patience to make Job ashamed, But who
could be patient at this! The tempest
was gathering-the leader in the Mail
was forgotten-the paper was replaced
in his pocket, and the "clouds DER
pressed" at length burst forth with
confession the devil, YOU rascal !.
When will you have sense? Confess.
indeed To tell your sins to man like
yourselves. have as much power as he
has. Come to confess to me, and I'll
prove to you that | can forgive you your
sins as well as any priest tf them"
There was another pause. Who would
dare to contradict the master? AS well
might the Russian serf oppose the ukase
Of the unholy autocrat, Nicholas. A,
length one of them, Paddy Puck" from
the belief that he used to ride "Puck, :"
the fairy horse, stuck his spade in the
ground, and resting his chin on the TOP
of the handle, in the most philosophical
mode possible, dtawled out:
Be me own soul, and yer right, sir
an its jist on the point O. maxim up nv
mind. I'd be, to go to yer honor, an
come back to my work agin, nor be after
losing half day."
His companions locked daggers, his
master looked pleased, and Paddy LOOKED.
the figure of honest truth, an6 imper-
turbable gravity.
care you joking, Barry 2" asked the
master.
"Divil carry me, if l am, yer honor,
was the reply.
+" So you say you'll come to confession
to me, instead of going to Father Fitz-
gerald 2"
DO say I'll go? Why thin yer
honor, isn't it after sayin' it | am this
minit-an' whoever knew Paddy Barry
to break his word !'' ~
Satisfied to have even one convert. he
allowed the others to go to the station,
while it was agreed that Paddy should
come to the ''Great House" next morn
ing. 1t would have been in no wise
amiss if Paddy had an insurance taken
on his life for the remainder of the even
ing, from the manner in which bis com,
panions treated him; but Paddy said he
would 60 to the master" $
Morning came and true to his word
Paddy was up to time The master met
him and sent him to the cook to get his
breakfast, which our penitent eat with
gusto, for it was long since the like fell
in his way, and probably it would be as
long again. '......
Now, sir" said the Paddy, as he re-
turned from the kitchen, sc does your
hopor know how the priest manages wild
us when we goes to confession 2"
"No," was the reply.
''That's the very thing I was think
ing, yer honor, that makes me Ak We
Now yer honor when we goes on our
knees, an begins to tell our sins, for
every one we tells him he ses, eI forgive
you" This was an easily acquired
formula, as the would-be-priest sat down,
the penitent went on his knees beside
him and the following dialogue began:
q got drunk at the fair o New Castle,
yer reverence" ..
81 forgive you"
II had fight wild Barney Egan, on
the road, sir.''