Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1854-08-09
Printers Devil, Mrs. Fustisn.

Printer Devil, Mrs. Fustian.
Clerk in mails department, The Hon.
Mr. FuStiauoS. .4.,. g.. ----. ..,.t..
Clerk in the publication Office, Don ;.
q. Fustianes. 80 .---.t
Clerks in tie pressroom, El Caballero
Agents throughout the Union, the lit
Ge Fustians.- -----------------
Carriers in New York and vicinity,
Madame Fustia.l and servant.
"a. Total, 954 souls.
1t would be impossible to estimate the
exact number of persons actually depend
eRs on the Polecat for. support, but if
We take into account the ouack doctors
that earn living by advertising in it.
and the friendleSs young ladies that OBJ
tain. protectors" through the aid of its
columns, and proceed Non the same arith-
metical basis by which we summed up
the staff, We shall not probably be far
out If we state the number at ONE NIL
EfON. 60. III lIr g. 80
We will now proceed to give o sketch
of several Of the departments, commen-
cling with the editorial.
THE EDITORS.
There is no department on . paper
more Important thar. that OF the editor.
His duties are of o most delicate nature,
and he should possess the rapacity Of the
vulture without his courage. He should
be unsusceptible to any of the usual
weakness of human nature; unrelentinc
in his anin,osities, cowardly IN his ven
geance, with an endless memory and a.
brief conscience. the editor of q. great
daily paper will commsnd success. He
should also understand the art of being
bribed, not permitting money to be offered
to him in an open and vulgar manner
but conveying it delicstely and with
subtle dexterity from the briber's purse
to hs own pocket. AS an instance Of
how delicate such suSceptibilities NAV
be, we will relate the following anecdote:
A gentleman once Called to see MI.
kustian on important business. His re-
quest for admission was at once complied
with, when he Immediately explained tha
object Of bis visit. He commenced by
saying that he had fifty cents in his pock-
ct, which was his only capital. He, how.
ever, would consent to place that sum i'm
mediately IN Mr.. Fustian's s hands if that
gentleman would state in his next DAVIS
paper that deceased aunt had left hin.
the visitor-a large fortune. The rep
utatiOn of such an event, wonld, by rais-
ing his credit, enable him to borrow sew
eral hundred dollars from his friends.
Mr.. Fustian Immediately said that ho
could not allow himself to be bribed. but
added that if his visitor would deposit
the fifty cents in box which be indica-
ted-it was labelled " for the poor n-he
would comply with his request. Tho
fifty cents was surrendered, and the no.
tice appeared. -.,
As the individuality and personality
Of great men are always matters of in-
terest, we think we cannot do better than
give description of the personal apear-
ance of
Mr.. JAMES GODLESS FUSTIAN, EDITOR OF
~r.---. THE POLECAT.
Mr.. Fustian is considered by some to
be model Of manly beauty. He stands
i've feet eleven inches in his stockings.
His nose is Grecian, and his eyes, re.
markable for their peculiar expression,
are said to be the finest orbs Of the kind
in existence. His hair, rich and luxu-
rant, falls in waving masses over q brow
of snowy whiteness, and his forehead
as Jupiter's seems the very
throne Of intellect. In form Mr.. Fustian
approaches nearer to the Apollo Belvi.
dere than any man we have ever seen.
Vigor and grace seem to have been fused
into one symmetrical whole, and we are
not surprised at the iealousies and per-
solutions which Mr. Fustian has had to
endure at the hands of his OVID sex.
Personal beauty feeds hosts of enemies,
and with regard to Mr.. F.'s troubles, if
we ''look on his face it will explain them
lll." Mr.. Fustian is now in the bloom
of youth, and is happy in the possession
of lovely and adoring wife, and q
family, who inherit all the pa
rental beauty and intelligence.
a THE ESTABLISHMENT.
1t is so magnificent that it needs no
- =. z....
FHE FUTURE OF THE DAILY PoLECAT.
Having now at great length given
full history of the origin and progress of
the Daily Polecat; having as it were
dwelt upon the past, we may be excused
if we touch little on the future.
We have made the most gigantic ar
for the ensuing campaign.
We intend to have correspondents in every
part of the inhabitable globe. We have
permanent communication
with the North Pole, and have reporter
in every regiment at present engaged in
the East. Our French correspondent will
be attended to by Mr.. Fustian, and Mas
ter Etzherbert Fustian, is al present
geography with the expr, IS ~
tention of visiting the Caucasus, and rs-
porting the rebellion.
As all these arrangements will neces.
sarily entail considerable additional ex-
pense, We propose to raise the price Of
our paper from two to three cents. We
fell sure that the public will support US
in our vast undertakings, and will not
shut their ears when they hear the boys
cry:
Gone copy Of the Polecat o-only
cents 20
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