The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1854-02-21
HUMOROUS sELECTIONs.

'An old soaker who lives in Weston. Missouri,
took it into his head day that 1t was necessary
for hsfunre welfare to be born ss'in,' aud forth
with repaired to the Rev. Mr. b, the respect.
ed pastor of the Baptist denomination of the town
aforesaid, to obtain light He was received with
urbanity, and forthwith the following dialogue en-
sued: ttW
Old SITS your doctrine, boss that Teller m he
saved must suffer 'immcrshnn isn't ity4 AIR
Mr.. B.-Yes, Mr.. s., it is Fundamental doctrine
of our Church, that man to be regenerated, mus,
repent OF his SINS and be immersed. 90
Old Swell, boss, after repentn' of his sins,
and been Sid under, If he flashes in the pan, then
what eias> an
Mr.. B.-Although back .slidngis mucl, to be de.
plored. STILL If he sincerely repents of his sin. and
is again immersed, the Church viii receive him
again. sseilt.f .s.st1t gasfsss, 4e5s fs..
Old Well s'pose he agin kicks out of the
critters there are in the world, boss) then what is
to pay2 e
Mr.. Notwithstanding all this. if he will seri.
ously repent, ard solemnly promise to amend his
future life, the Church will again receive him into
its bosom, after being immersed.
Old S., (after afew moments of deep thoughf)
proposes the closing nterrogatory--Well, boss,
wouldn't it be bIasted good idea to keep sie eers
in soak all the time l"''' ''.''t ..ias7'
My informant did not say whether old 8 Joined
the Church or not, hut I incline to the opinion
that he Observation-Disclosures
The following is not bad: Washing would be
cheap at As Sd per Dozen onss laundress possess
ed the magic power so much desiderated by poor
Baves: Atst
As Bayes, whose cup with poverty was dashed.
Lay snug in bed while his one shirt was washed
The dame appeared, and holding it to view,
Said, ii 'tis washed again twill wash in two.
"lndeed r cried Bayes, then wash 1t pray, good
cousin, 80 7asz1 1als : a4 fst
And wash it il you can into dozenw
IT FOLLOWED HIM.-When the American flag
N 0n1Y,iCo oOaA orl
heard inveighing with lueubrous earnestness
against the pertnacity with which the flag had pur.
sued his fortunes. Il was the Spanish consul in de
Louisiana, but soon dat flag he was raise, and |
60 to Pensacola, but soon dat flag was over me
dare. live in de Texas, but dat flag follow me
dare. Says ], so where de flag never come /
come to Tampico, but here is dat flag again.
believe if go to the devil that same flag will follow
me dare" esf'#a s4eh
WHERE DO THEY COME Faom ,-"Grand pa,
where do the people get their fashions from ~
"Where do the Boston folks get them from y
'From England" - 81
"And where do the English get them from ?"
"From France" sa s
"Where do the French get then, fromq ~
"Why, right straight from the devil there now
stop your noise and 60 to bed"
Az an acquaintance of ours was coming homo to
dinner, the other day, he stout buck negro cal
rying large copper wash-kettle, which our friend
knew 10 De MS own, ana charged the coIOred gent
with taking it from his back yard "Yes boss said
the accused, 81 was only taking um to de pump to
get drink of water out of um den fetch um ba ck
again; but If you don't like to trust me datfur take
you kittle and I'LL try to borrow tin cup some
where's else. ~ Phiiadelphia Mercury.
Count Tracy, complaining to foote that a mar
had ruined his character. $50 much the better.
replied the wit "for It was DIN bad one, and the
crit was destroyed the more to your advan
tage." Fa keg a SEES gss4s 3 "a 49, s-l,
A sailor once had high dispute with hie wife
who wished him to the devil. "Plaeue 81 me Pes.
said he, If don't think should fare pretty vel
with the old fellow, as married into his fsuilyn
What 10 the difference between m sftsmntrd
homicide and the butnhcrins Of swine Hold
your breath for the answer Ono II al assanl
with intent to kill and the other l. KIN With IN
tent to salt. ' 20
Tho celebrated Andrew Marvel. IN his ironic.
libel upon the press, said .7ead when mou,ded n.
to buets is not half 30 mortal as when founded ia
to types.
Charles Lamb wondered why people mad s,,ch
fuss about children--s they were 20 very con-
mon." IL
If apoliee officer il after you, the best thinx You
can do i to lock the door, and then bole your
sell. s -
"A serious accident occurred on the stare az tbe
PittsburR Theatre : few nights since The So
was eNsxeupa,p and the hornmpiece IN vhick
Charles Foster and "Blsck Bess's appear Il ~
ncene fhe horne fans and his yider a vvn,r. -