The national era. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1847-1860, 1854-09-07
He excused bis seeming importunitv on the


said was sorry to have given him pain
that ne had attached serious meaning to yer,
careless words; and that, as be OWNED, hac
really forgotten the promise to meet him thst
day, and hoped he would not compel me tt
speak fartherson subject painful TO us both.
was irritated that his coming had proven
30 untimely, and at the moment regarded him
as my evil demon. | should have remembered
then, that
Mercy is for the merciful"
Still he fingered, forgetful of manhood, pride
every thing, and with an earnest affection, OF
which was unworthy, besought me to recon
slder-he would wait days, weeks, months. or
yesrs-anything were better than the terribly
detinitive answer | had given but there was
no appeal said he had my best wishes my
slneerest PITY had nothing more to give him
and turning the conversation into common
place channels of village news and gossip in
which he felt as little interest as myself he
presently took leave, and then came upon me a
double anguish-the reproaches of conscience
added themselves to the sorrow that was press
ing upon me from without
AT tea time Mr.. Richards reappeared, pune
tillousiy polite, but in way which left between
US the breadth of all the world.
An hour or two before, we had stood costly
side by side, now he was waving and smiling,
but had shifted sails and was making off.
The change was inde6nabls, and, though it
cannot be described, was quick to make itself
felt.
There was nothing that l could do for him ;
1t would have been presumptuous in me to offer
my services; so felt, and in uneasy silence the
meal passed
He regretted, he said, that DR.. Roberts
should have gone without partaking of his hos
pitality-a most amisble and worthy young
man he seemed-he really felt the liyeliest in
terest in his success-the neighborhood was
IN need OF just such man and whether or not
he Identified his interests with it it would give
him pleasure to see the young man permanent
ly settled.
When the meal was done, and he withdrew
to the parlor, and talked to and caressed Fleet
tho house seemed divided against itseIf. | did
not join him; for what was the interchange of
abstract thought or fiippant nothinga, while
down below the current of feeling flowed pas
sionately on and on.
| made no light, but, seated at the window,
looked out at the fast flying clouds the moon
and the stars running through and amongst
them. The mist curled along the moist ground,
for the last frost thawipg at the roots of the
green grass. But little regarded the great
miracle OF nature--a greater one was OF work
in my own heart.
Suddenly the window was darkened-there
was tap on the sash, and Charley stood be-
fore me.
He seemed wrapt in deeper solemnity than
myself and, sitting down beside me, remained
silent, with arms folded and head dropping on
his bosom.
Twas too selfishly absorbed in my own sorrows
to inquire into his; and though ne had evident
ly some burden on his mind, he hesitated vol
unfairly to reveal it.
At length he said, abruptly "Mary, if were
come to tell you was going to kill myself
what would you say?"
49,, That you might do worse thing" | repli-
ry. 4 -
What would that be?o
"That which you will be sorry for if you
do-you are a mere boy, and don't yet know
your own mind-defer decisive steps till later
go into the world, see men and things and
when experience and years shall have r>pened
your Judgment, We will talk farther"
He did not explain further what his inton-
tons were, nor did | inquire; did not like to
be positively assured.
Half an hour we remained sicnt-Shen |
said:
"What are you thinking, Charley"
"That you are wiser than | am" he replied.
All, me! how my heart sunk dom. 1t YVES
the very essence Of se,f3hness which pr impted
my speaking. | feared his engagement with
Lucretia Wilkinson-for he was yet Zoo young
to marry her-wOuld thwart my own inter
ests.
He arose and looked sorrowfuIy and car
Mostly upon me; and, IS some relief to ny
heart, said:
Il am not vice, Charley, and l faas l am
very wicked"
The wicked ere not afraid. God bless
you"
The door opened and c!Osed-he was gone.
Charley Charley ~ | called, hurrying
after him but no voice replied, no footstep
sounded on the soft ground, and, as | listened,
there came down upon me the sense Of an
awful responsibility. Surely, fate sends some
times premOnitlous.
When the first red of morning Frightened
far across the budding woods, and before the
sun was up, | was dressed and at the east
window gazing towards home. The worry
smoke looked lonesome, as II rose, not in long,
black whifs, but in thin, blue wreaths, aud
drifted aside. The two work-horses which
had boon turned into the pasture for the early
grass were not cropping it CT, wet with the
dew, but stood neighiDg to each other with
long ridge between them. The voice that was
used to call them in the morning, did not call.
One by one, the COWS which | had MIXED so
often, got up from their warm BEDS and turned
slowly home. The sheep, strung along the
meadow, were already nibblng. | knew not
WHY, but felt an unusual oppression. mixed
with fear; and this feeling was hei Ghtened
when | saw my father come bareheaded forth,
and from the we'll to the barn, and thence to
the roadside, walk again and again, as though
he missed something. When the sun came up,
and shonc over all the woods and meadows,
and other signs Of life appeared about the
house, all things in my imagination retained
their sombre aspect. saw Nike BUSTING be-
low the window, drawing out the carriage
from its shelter, and making other prepare
tions indicating an excursion ahead for Mr.
Richards. A vague and uncertain apprehen-
sion frightened for moment my troubling
love into silence
Seeing my heavy eyes at breakfast, Mr.
Richards inquired, politely, how ha passed
the night and on my replying ba6 y" said
he didn't remember to have slept bet sr In his
life He was cory to see me indisp sed he
would direct Mike to call in DR.. Rob,rts; and
this he said as complacently as tho Ugh that
person and himself were on the most greeable
terms. The previous day he had semed to
regard him as rival; now, DR.. Roberts
could not possibly affect his interests. Without
any intimation of the probable lengsh of his
| absence, or explanation OF its cause, no with
drew. AS he bade me good morning | took
from nny pocket the list of garden seeds which
had prepared the previous day, and offered it
to him He glanced at it. snapped it out of his
fingers and, without word, drove away.
! So and SO inauspicious was the beginning of
/ my life as housekeeper.
! Often that day assembled to my chamber,
and looked anxiously toward home Il saw my
father ploughing across and acrose the far
| stubble field, but saw not Charley Where