Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1854-01-25
pottrp.
il)it ano Gnnlor.

answer it himself he paid forfeit. Pats
question was, How the little ground squirrel
digs bis hole without showing any dirt about
the entrance n When they all gave up. Pat
said, sure, do yousee, he begins at the other
end of the hole = 0no Of the rest exclaimed,
But how does he get there r. "Abt r said
Pat, that's your question can you answer
ityourself7'
gEy"An Irisbman was brought up before
late magistrate Of East Riding on charge
Of yagrancy, aud was thus questioned:
what trade are you p
"Sure, yer homer, now I'm salt water
sailor"
You in the seafaring life | question
whether you have ever been to sea in your
lifc."'
Sure now and does your honor think
came over from oald Ireland in a wagon 7"
Commit him.
bgy-lialph Waldo Emerson, in bis lectures
at New Bedford the other evening, said -
''At the West pork is the great idea there
the pig plays theunctious part. Think what
carldoms came from the FIRST grape stone car
ried perhaps by BIRDS and sowed by the banks
Of the Rhine What coal has been to Eng
land, wheat to the Nile, or peaches to New
Jersey, pork has been to the West. The
largest owner of pigs is the hero of the prai
sie."a
look heah, Sambo, you got Cat quarter
dollar you owes me 2"
LA, Cuff, no; money so scarce, so many
stopperages 10 Mobile, there amt no money in
circulation"
80. sho. Sambo, what de nation you got to
do with Mobile ? Niger, pay up, pay up v'
well, look heah, Cuff, me hear massa tell
more dan twenty dat same tale; and amt
see gentleman treat him like you treat me
Act like gentleman if you is niger"
Hzy-A young miss accepted the offer Of
young gentlemen to gallant her home, and af-
forwards, fearing that jokes might be cracked
at her expense, should the fact become pub
,ic, dismissed him about half way home, en-
joining secresy.
Don't be afraid, said he, 'of my saying
anything about it, for feel as much ashamed
of il as you do
sey~A clergyman had just united in mar
riage couple whose christian names were |
respectively Benjamin and Ann How did |
they appear during the ceremony inquired
a friend. "They appeared both annie mated
aad 6cnnie- ftted," was the ready reply.
s The best board in the world for dyspeptic
young ladies is said to be the rash board -
1t gives them strength of muscle, an exuber-
ance ofspirts, good appetite for their meals,
and supercedes the necessity of painting their
faces.
RaS@A model return upon writ was recent
Is made by Deputy Sheriff in Morgan Co,
Indiana. 1t was-''Saryed the within, but
was fit with briekbats by the woman so that
/ couldn't sarye it."
Somebody says, ga baby laughing in
its dreams, is corversing with angels" Per.
hsps so, and We have seen them crying in
their waking hours. as though they were hav-
ing spar with the devil.
Bs5~ At time when public affairs we're in
very unsettled state, gentleman who
squinted terribly, asked Talieyraud how
things were going on. "Wby as you see,
sir. was the reply.
Hks@A Boston paper thinks that stealing
a ministers coat while preaching and tho sex /,
ton nat While waiting upon stranger Tito !
the church, is running rascality into the ground |
sGg Flirting is most amusing game. 1t !
is true there is nothing gained by it. but then
there is nothing staked. In fact you may
call it, playing at cards for love"
ps~The reigus of Henry VIII, and his
daughter Mary, in England, we're, historical
" speaking, like butchers bill-being an
account Of steal and chops.
Has- Mistrust the man who finds every.
thing good, the man who finds everything
ev'i, and still more, the man who is indiirer.
ent to everything.
Bs1"An organ in Williamsburg was not
played the other Sunday. on account of hay.
iog new stoP-which was put on by the
las Fame has her museum as we'll as her
temple, aad man who has ceased Co be read
Tor anything else may be read as specimen
Of bis age.
ax5~it is a delicate question which com.
mands walters greatest respect, the man
who DULLES hin The most or fees him the best
p9y@The government tolera es all religion
but it's not h Christianity Gas so far under
Stood) forone religion to tolerate another
hgs~fhe uniform of Prince Gortscbakoff
has not been described. We believe tho
principal article of it is "cut away"
Bsg~ Always doubt the sincerity of girls
love when you see her wipe her mouth after
you kiss her
Eas-A Yankee has invented a machine for
extracting lies from quack medicine adver
tisements.
~ The man who borrowed troubIe' has
returned it without any expression of thanks.
10 The man who "held out an induce
ment," has had sore arm ever since.
Rsy@The Comic Almanac says ut takes
three springs to make one leap year.
Rs9y-Tho fellow whose attention was riy-
cited has again burst open.
4.