Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1854-12-07
VOL. 2. NO. IL.
Doesticks on Street Preaching.

about it, and was told the usual street screech-
ing was going on-wanted to see the fun
got good place on fat Irishman's toes
Enter Gsbriel-tin horn-hole in his pant,-
loons-( Bull Dogge says that if angels have
wings, they are also provided with tails---hence
this last item } thought it extremely probable.
Gabrial mounted one end of the CITY Hall
steps. and after preliminary overture on his
horn, and slight skirmish among the faith
fui, resulting in four black eyes, a damaged
nose. and a broken leg-the religious services
commenced-( (Damphool was entirely carried
away by his sgIapathies for this last MARTYR.
but soon discovered that the fractured mem
Der Was purely vegetable" :" as the patent
medicine men say, and the injury ras speedi-
ly repaired by means Of few shinele nails
and piece of clapboard Gabriel went in
to win, but In spite of the sanctity ofhis name
and the holiness of the aforesaid breeches. he
was not permitted q clear field A female.
with bosom undressed in the latest fashion
petticoats Oamphool says skirticoats) not
immaculate; stockings, through the texture
of which her delicate ankles were plainly Wis
ible to the naked eye-whose hair resembled
molasses candy, with nose symmetrical as
an over-grown sweet potato, and in hue not
unlike the martyred lobster, and whose teeth
reminded me forcibly of the sscrags and
peaks mentioned by the man in the play
took up her station on the other end of the
steps. She, like Gabe, went in for giving
the Church of Rome jesse" but otherwise
did not agree with him. Did not seem will
ling to 60 to heaven by bis conveyance, but
claimed to have discovered some kind of a
northwest passage-some exclusive path
"cross lots )" and she advocated her right of
way with all her woman's power of tongue
In fact, they agreed only tolerably-"Arcades
ambo"-both Celestials. but Of different
breed-(B ID. says that sometime since they
joined issue on the devils head, one asserting
that he has horns, and the other maintaining
that his birthstone friend was muley-but
they both pitched into the Pope-abused all
foreigners, denounced the Church of Ronel
walked into the affections of the Catholics,
generally lly-talked learnedly of priests, inqui-
sitions, dungeons, thumbscrews, martyrs con-
vents, nunneries, and other luxuries, as being
the only legitimate offspring of the mother Of
denominations, the scarlet woman; and, In fact,
seemed to be having the field entirely to
themselves, when 10 change came DER the
spirit of the gospel show; for in the midst Of
the crowd suddenly appeared third combat
ant-his classic dress and intellectual face
gave unmistskeable evidence that he was from
the "Gim of the Ocean" aN
With the digni6ed and majestic bearing pc
culiar to some of bis countrymen. he slowly
mounted the steps, and took position direct
ly between the two, and In a voice strongly
tinctured with the ''sweet brogue," announced
himself as champion of that much slandered
gintleman, the Pope of Rome.
At this astounding impudence, the woman
g. IL. Il
was SO taken aback that he seemed about to
collaps, an lad ibitum" interlude on the tin
horn, and all hands pitched i'm (as Miss
Agnes Robertson says.) Gabrial commenced
the onset by asserting that the Pope is not
strictly bachelor, but has seven white wives
in his parlor, thirteen ditto bound in law calf
in the library. hundred and forty-one golden
haired damsals in his private apartment, and
perfect harem Of jetty beauties in the coal
hole
Petticoats followed, by saying that he
breakfasts on Protestant babies; drinks whis-
key punch out of Protestant clergyman's
skull; has an abducted Protestant virgin 10
black his boots; ffty-seven Protestant widows
to dig his potatoes and hoe corn, and that he
rolls ten pins every afternoon with the heads
Of Protestant orphan children.
Irishman Indignantly denied all-said the
country was going to old knick, and some fine
morning we shall wake up and find that the
Pope. unable longer to endure our perverse-
ness, has sunk us all forty miles deeper than
ancient Sodom; said that his holiness can
send US all to perditicn by one wink Of his
left eye; that he is the head of the church on
earth; has all power to save or otherwise;
could get us al. out of Purgatory, and send US
all ''kitin into heaven" by wagging his little
finger; that he could. Like Joshua No 2,
make the sun and moon stand still make the
planets dance an astronomical ngadoon; cause
the hills and mountains to execute mighty
geological jig, while old ocean should beat
the time against the blue vault of heaven, and
applauding angels encore the huge saluta-
tions.
Gabe said he din't believe the yarn Pet
ticoats remarked something about the Star
Spangled Banner being always right side
up ~ rta
Irishman proceeded to describe the future
home of the happy in an other world. as q
place where there should be plenty of pota-
toes, and oceans of genuine whiskey
Symptoms of free fight now rapidly de-.
veloped into an uncivil war. Petticoats got
mixed up with the crowd. and presently
emerged rather the worse for wear, barefooted.
bareheaded. hair down, and nose injured by
collision. W h tal y
There is young lady in Baltimore whose
breath is so sweet, the storekeepers hire her