Washington sentinel. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1853-1855, 1854-11-16
The Art Of Living with Others.

The Preside jars, the teatable tempests, and
the everyday chickering's in too many family
circles, are proofs that the art Of living with
others rs imperfectly understood, and still more
imperfectly practiced. The eyolutions of pa.
tience and temper, the constant mannuverings
OF affection and jealousy, kindness and cool
| ness, humility and pride, in the miniature pre-
cints of home, are worthy to be compared to
the best examples of military tactics. The
heart is ever prone to love, while the mind con-
| tinually endeavors to assert its own supremacy,
and domineer over every mind with which it is
brought into contact. Thus arise the thou
sand differences which disturb the peace of
families and wreck the highest hopes Of earth
1t is TO argue the possibility of realizing per-
fectly ideal state Of social existence, but there
is no harm in inquiring whether there are any
methods of making the social relations more
harmonious than now. For some of the thoughts
here presented, we are indebted to an essay in
| THE Friends in Council" an anonymous vol.
ume, published by James Munroe, Boston.
In the first place, if people are to live hap
PLY together, they must not fancy that, because
| they are together all their lives have been ex-
actly similar, and that they are to be of the
same mind for all the future. We are not to ex.
pect single person to agree with us in all points,
and we must not be vexed if we fail to drive
our own tastes and opinions into those we live
with. In order to live on intimate terms with
any one, we must entertain proper respect for
| him, and be willing in some instances to waive
| our own preferences when they conflict with
| those of our friends. Diversities, from the ma
ture of mind itself, must arise and we might
as we'll complain, when gazing into the clear
| evening sky, "why all these stars; why not
| all one star |" as to find fault that every mind
| is not the exact correlate to our own. Easily
derived from this general principle are the
| following rules: Never interfere unreasonably
| with others; never ridicule their tastes; never
question and requestion their resolves do not
indulge in perpetual comment on their pro-
ceedings avoid set topics Of dispute, around
which angry words tester till a rank quarrel
breaks out; and do not hold too much to
logic, and suppose that everything is to be set
| tied by q sufficient reason. DR.. johnson saw
this clearly with regard to married people,
when he said wretched would be the pair
above all names of wretchedness, who should
be doomed to adjust by reason every morning
all the minute details Of a domestic day"
Another important rule is not to let famili
arity swallow up courtesy. There is no place
where real politeness is Of more value than
where we are apt to regard it superfuous. We
ID,
or to omit those delicate attentions in daily in
tercourse which we lavish upon strangers and
those whose favor we would win. II is proper
to speak to our associates more plainly, but
not less kindly than to strangers. Again, we
must not expect too much from the society of
our friends. They do not live for MS alone any
more than we do for them, and we cannot com
mand them at all times TO do our pleasure
IL you would be beloved as q companion, ig-
more all unnecessary criticism upon your asso.
ciates. The number Of those who have taken
out judges patents, is very large in society, and
they all drive q most prosperous business. But
no one chooses to live between the glasses of
microscope, even though fool be looking in.
One Of the most vexatious kinds of criticism is
that back-handed variety which commences
with such introductions as these Had / been
consulted 1had you listened to me-" "you al.
ways would have your own way" and legion
Of such like expressions which are not designed
TO soothe perturbed spirit.
The great law Of social life is, nDo unto
others as you would that they should do TO you.n
Study in all things to conciliate, and cherish
continually that charity and forgiving spirit
which you would have exercised toward you.
Cheerfully acknowledge merit in others, and
in turn you will always receive that kind con.
sideration which you desire. When YOU can.
not consistently praise, by all means remain
silent, unless there be manifest wrong, de.
serving censure.
AS a general rule, it will be found that our
greatest sources of unhappiness are within
ourselves, and If we fail to live tremendously
with others, we shall act more wisely, 10 set
about correcting our own faults than to pick
flaws in their characters. Make the fountain
pure and the stream will flow clearly along
even though it must pass the dark forests,
lonely chasms, and rough shores Country
Gentleman.