Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1854-08-03
-YAKIETY.

iHuuph keep cecil, ny good friend SAID
She debtor, putting 9 cigar With the most sd-
mirsble sang froid-
you want settlement
TO BE- sure do. air
Well my dear cir, assure you I meant
10 settle, and when ] nEASr TO settle, that
was clearly axErTLE-MEsT.'
HLwas in company the other night, a
plumber Of ladies being present, when .
ysuDg man proposed = coBundrum, which he
said he had read in the papers II wss this;
-sWhen i lady not lsdyP There was .
spauss-sGive il up said sllnround, when, 20
the INFINITE horror Of the whole party the
.auerist exclaimed, When she's little buggy.
Nobody Isughed-somc were dcmure. some
indignant, and some no doubt inclined 70
scratch-tbe querists face little. He was
disappointed Fumbling in bis pocket be
pulled out ! paper which, consulting for .
moment. he ejsculatsd, 1JH. beg year par
pardon, ladies, | m41 mistake. The an
swer Is, when sbsfs . little syIkyrI knew
il vas some sort Of 4 carriage
MA French preacher was once descant-
ing from the pulpit With great eIoquence on
the beauties Il creation whatever, saith
be acoles from the hands Of nature is com.
plete She forms every thing perfect One Of
his congregation very much deformed, and
having very rgelhump, went up to him
1t the close Of bis discourse, aud asked,
What think ye1of me, Holy Father, am
Iperfeeti'
To which the preacher replied very coolly.
Yes, for hump back man, quite perfect
EFAnnette, my dear, what country is
opposite 70 Us on the globe 2 Don't know,
sir We'll, now continued the 2erPfexed
teacher, III we're 70 bore heie through
TIE earth, and you we're to 60 in at this end
where would you come outF
.Oat Of the hole, Dir replied the pupil
With an air Of triump h at having solved the
great question.
nSwedenborg Gays that through the
virgins be saw in heaven we're beautiful, the
wives were incompirably more beautiful,
and vent on increasing in beauty eyermorei
That 10 certainly an Encouragement for the
girls % get married What girl would will
iingly remain single in this world at the ex.
Dense Of her beauty In the next,
"Let % lay no temptation in the path
Of the youhg,' Is the frog said when be pop.
ped his head under water on seeing a boy
pick up stone.
Labor Is honorable. says the Boston
Post II may Be honorable, replies the AL.
hany Atlas, but tits mighty inconvenieu,
when The thermometer is about 80 degrees
u Ne shade
Sheridan wrote, women govern us
let rs try 70 render them perfect The more
they-sT6 enlightened, 40 much the more
We shall be- Oh the cultivation Of the minds
Of women depends the wisdom Of men -
Napoleon said, the future destiny Of the
child Is always the work Of the mother
TAn afsstisuste and sudearing mother
Z ID this town is feeding der daughter on
pickles, to prevent her being eaten up by
The ysung men, Who call her 400 sweet to
live.i
EfA Consideyafe Elther.-'My dear
said anIrish gentleman to, his wife, L would
rather the children was kept in the nursery
when I am ~ home. although I should not
object to their noise il they'd only be quiet
~'I say, Tom, isn't i. lucky thA. tha.
fellows eyes are eoekedi'
why 80 p
Because II they werea match, his red
nose would surely set them on fire.
BfWhen starving people, wanting food,
create tumuls, Il Is called Ba EArs RIor'-
When gentlemen, who have INDUCED in
vinous excess, wrench ofknoc1ers,and break
lamps, Il u called 90 ill-BRED RIOT
Tswell, John said man 10 his son
on the day he was one and twenty, you
hare 70, : fool for master now
sYes,' said John, land have had for these
tussty ysars'
Up-Madam,' said cross-tempered phy.
stefan % patient .ifWomen we're admitted "a
paradise, their tongues would make Il pur.
Ratory.' And some physicians il allowed "a
practice their, replied the lady, would soon
make Il desert
KrDsd, you always act 90 strange =
why Biilyp Because whenever nam eits
sick, you always have 70 fetch baby here 70
sqsall round and make sieh noise.
TWhsn man has great deal Of faul.
- ond with newspaper which be never fails
- read, Il Il ssreE sign that be has not paid
Sor IL People seldom hnd fsule With their
eNn property.
il remains until 20 morrow, tbs cattle may
ri cv6r. Whist ought 70 Be donc to day, Dc
Il for io-mersou e ihay rain.
EnpNr. oasry wonders II whcii night fails
> 5oesnt hnri bsrsslf Thednsirs of Mr.
ousry fbr suscf1l knoulodes' and things. i.
oIly sQuillsd b kis humanity
The following is good phrase, dss-
oripliRs Of n sn6rEsiie eharaeieE-sCrom,
usil did uot uai, . strike nntii che iron
N.s ksl, bat msd6 i hot By striking
W'ssnhs. uky - iocunosis. baSts Ne : ~.
!. = e.. y. 49,. :. . r. ',s.
E2rAn GA pFovsrb says chat singer rests
elly j ~ bos,n q fools, Iftkis q true
Nh., Pss,isas y, 4 fosls nay b found IN
~ coununity.
E1-Ihs nan uke brsks viii his friend.
=. ~ shes,esi piPso e tks bs1s IL oonseo.
rI[ov nsIsndholy he noon aus. III
1{S1 4 H. enjoyed tie faiInosu Il pr6sss-,
~ ne s.. reduced . H. l.s, quart:r.
r1rIkc nan nho made an imprts1Ion
81 - Ls1rt & eoqle,t>, h.5 become Z
sIiI'lnI sl,nscuttcF.
I1<As EsSlishn.n s.ys-'Ts hen i
1~.1--I9 forgive, le-Ni1e
~ I.rneu {. irJins.. = sss<re shs spider
.||.. ...1<1 N. I11 o(Ii'1
.I.> ..rss, sh>sl q fos.1Ds b rkcsI.
I'll - ls.'ss s.a... 81, =. &. =.