The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1854-12-06
....e- From the Detroit Daily Advertiser.
Doesticks inyents a Patent Medicine

Congratulate me-my fortune Is ade-
am immortalized. and I've done it myself.
have gone into the patent medicine busi
ness. My name will be handed down to
posterity as that oil universe al benefactor.
The hand which hereafter writes upon the
record Of Fame the names of Aver. Sands,
Townsend, Moffit, Morrison, and Brand
reth, must also inscribe. side by side with
these distinguished appellations, the no
less brilliant cognomen Of the undying
Doesticks. Emulous Of the deathless no.
toriety which has been acquired by the
medicinal worthless just mentioned, also
resolved to achieve name and fortune In
the same reputable and honest manner.
Bought gallon oi tar, cake Of bees
wax and a firkin Of lard, and in twenty
one hours presented to the world the first
batch OF "Doestick's Pdieat- Self Acting
-Four. Horse Power Balsam;" designed to
cure all Diseases of mind, body. or estate,
to give strength to the weak. money to the
poor, bread and butter 10 the hungry,
boots to the barefoot, decency to black
guards, and common sense to the Know
Notbings. 1t acts physically, morally,
psyehologically, physiologicslly and geo.
logically, and it is Intended to make our
sublunary sphere a bsstul paradise.
. l have NOT yet brought it to absolute
perfection, but even now il acts with i'm
mense force, as you will perceive by the
accompanying testimonials and records ol
my own individual experience. You will
observe that have not resorted TO the
usual manner of preparing certificates;
which is to be certain that all those in
tended for eastern circulation shall seem
to come from some formerly unheard-ol
place in the west, while those sent to the
west shall be dated at some place forty
miles eastof sunrise. But send to you
as representing the western country, GER
u6cate from an Oregon farmer:
"DEAR SIR: The land composing my
farm has hitherto been so poor that a
Scotchman couldn't get his living off it
| and so stony that we had to slice our po.
ta,oes and plant them edgeways; but hear
ing OF your balsam, put some on The
corner OF a ten. acre lot. surrounded BY {
rail fence. and in the morning found thu
rocks had entirely disappear d q neat stone
wall encircled the fold, and the rails were
split into oven wood aud piled up symmet
rically IN my back yard. fut nall al
ounce into the middle Of huckleberry
swamp; in two days il was cleared off
planted with corn and pumpkins. and hat
a row of peach trees in full bloom throug
i the middle. AS an evidence OF its tremen
dous strength, would state that ii drew
striking likeness Of my eldest daughter--
drew my youngest boy out OF the mi
1 ..oJ3I drasy a hJister all oyar his stnn, AZ.
drew load Of potatoes four miles /
market, and eventually drew prize Q
ninety-seven dollars in the State lottery
And the effect upon the inhabitants here
about has been so wonderful, that the,
have opened their, eyes to the good of tn
I country, and are determined to vote for
Governor who is opposed to irosts in tn
middle Of June. and who will make posi-
tive law against freshets. hail storms, an
tha seventeen yesr locnsts."