Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1854-08-10
A Missouri Wedding.

The Royal Tiger was present thar,
The Monkey and the Polar Bar"
But that dignitary, to whom il was designed
TO assign honor Of the master Of the marriage
ceremony, mad not yet arrited but just shen
some one spoke and said
Thar comes Squar Ben Buncum.'
Quick the lights were trimmed and every
thing put in place. As usual anxiety, agita-
lion, and joy, were dspicted on every face, and
Mr.. Tom Wisdom, the honorable host, walked
out to meet the anxious 'Squar,' to welcome
him in, inquire for his health, ihe news, &c.
The Squar was od-humored gentleman,
but he was chiefly celebrated for talents, astute-
ness, learning, &C., in his populous township.
Well said the host, Ben, you have
been elected, but you had close time Of it
my vote alone saved you. You beat him one
vote only
That is all, Tom,' replied Sqnar Ben;
but the next election I'll lick him. There's
ho use in talking, Mr.. Wisdom, without using
the corn freely, and little sly scandal and
lying-that's all the chance
All, WE'LL that's all over, and you are the
magistrate, Squar Ben, so come and let's 90 in
and see what the young folks wish. Indeed,
Squar Ben, are you aware that you are expect
ed to say the cermony!
Benjamin Buncum now began 10 see the
awful responsibility of his office, and to trem-
bic from centre to circumference : for he had
never oficiated in that interesting capacity.
They had not even done him the Justice to in
form him of the part he was expected to per-
form or he could have prepared. He had made
no preparation-had no form-nor could any
liage ceremony. Hence to take it off hand
was the only chance. An unfortunate and ex-
crutialing test for the newly elected Squar.'
The company was now arranged into
crescent The Squar was at his place, and in
came the pariies-principals and seconds-the
galanis each bearing candle, which evinced
the extent and luxuriant range in that neigh
borhood With much assurance and dignity,
the Squar looked around, and whole ages Of
learning seemed rushing through bis mind
He thought over everything he had dreamed !,
but all in vain. There was suppressed litter
all over the house. This admonshed him
that he must say something, and, in an agony
of desperation, he began
The State Of Missouri, county com
mand you to-
This did not suit. Confusing and whisper
ing perplexed him the more.
Give him chance-give the Squar a
chance said strong voice from the door.
The Squar made another effort
Be it enacted, by the General Assembly of
the State of Missouri,
The Squar was admonished, by iitterinc
that he must proceed with something. 10 ag-
onizing desperation he began:
When in the course of human events il be-
comes
Here he was touched by Mr.. Wisdom. Af-
ter pause he began again-'
Know all men by these presents
Here he was interrupted by general noise,
and voice from the crowd, he is writing a
deed Again he essayed-
Witness my hand and seal, this the
Has concuded-he will certainly go on
with the ceremony said several voices.
In the name Of Gyd, amen,' he again be-
gan. Laughter from every directions some
swearing.
He is making his WILL said one, Il
thought he would not live ong--he looks pro-
digiously sad.' The next essay Of the noble
and learned Squar was
Oh, yes oh, yes come into court and
Are we to have court tonight CALCULATED
some one.
Oh, yes come into court = replied anoth-
er, from the door. The laughter was general.
II may be supposed that the bride and her
partner were somewhat hors du combat, espec-
ialy the former, bat water and suitable arO
matcs were near; and Squar Buncum was Ter
friend and near by-he was an nntring man
and, after casting his eyes around the room, he
determined to try again;
To the Constable, or any other lawful Off
Ger. Greeting.
Let's 60 He's going 10 have rs all
arrested saiG several. Here CLEAN Of light
passed over the Squars bewidered and forlorn
countenance. He ordered the parties positively
TO hold up their right hands, and in solemn
voice he said
You and each Of you, do solemnly and truly
swear, in the presence Of the present compa-
nv, and Of the President of the United States,
and in the name Of the Constitution Of the
United States of America, that you will per-
form faithfully, and as often as you or each OF
you may wish, all and singular, the duties and
functions of husband and wife, as the case may
be, to the best Of your skill and ability, SO help
you God. Amen 2
Good as old Rye! Old Kentucky forever ;
exclaimed the grateful Mr.. Tom Wisdom.
Come gentlemen said he, we will all
drink with Squar Ben Buncum
Agreed y shouted the enthusiastic and hap
py crowd:
'.We'll dance all night till broad daylight.
And 20 home with the gals in the morning :
THE BITE OF RATTLEsNAKE may be cured,