Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1854-11-04
From the Detroit Advertiser September 90.
DOesliCks Goes to Church I'm New
York.

Having seen the Opera with detestation, the
Theatres with appreciation, George Chnsy with
cachnnalion, and No. Q Dey stree, with affi
liaon; having visited Castle Garden, the Model
Artists and the American Museum, in fact know.
ing something of almost all the other places OF
amusemen, in the city, resolved to complete and
crown my knowledge by going to Church, and
hoped may receive due credit for my pursuit OF
amusement under difficulties. | made known my
heroic determination 10 my new found friends, and
they instantly resolved TO bear me company-BuIl
Dogge by way OF variety and Damphoo from force
of habit Bull Dogge seldom goes TO church, and
Damphoo alvays does.) Sunday morning came,
and The aforesaid individuals presented lhemsel-
ves-B. D. looking pugnacious and Pugllisc, and
Damphool perfectly marvellous-in fact, majestic
as this latter-named personagehad ever borne iCl.
self and importantly huge as he had ever appear
ed-his coat tails were now so wonderfully short,
his collar so enviaby large, and so independently
upright, and his hat so unusually and magn6cenily
lohy-thal he certainly looked bigger Damphool
than ever before.
Passing up Broadway through crowd OF people
of all sorts, sizes, colors and complexions coun-
hymen running over every third man they met
New Workers threading their way through appar-
emily un-get, ,ihrough-abe crowds without rnffling
thei. tempers or their shirt collars (By the way, I
have discovered that no one but a genuine New
Yorker born and b.ed can cross Broadway upon a
tiignifed walk y Fremen in red shirts and their
coats over their arms; newsboys with very scanty
allowance of shirt and no coats al all; Dutch emf
grants, with dirty faces, nasty breeches, and long
loppy looking pipes Irish emigrants, with dirtier
faces nasrier breeches, and short, slnbbier pipes
spruce looking darkies and wenches arrayed in
rainbow colored hatiliments-we al last reached
the door 1.-THE church. Everything looked 80 gran
dy gingerbready, tha, I hesitaiel about going in -
Little boy in the corner (barefooed with letter in
the Posiofice } told Us to q" go IN" and called us
d" Lemons" Did not perceive the force OF his po-
moogical remark, but /" tcent in nevertheless -
Man in white crava, showed US to a pew floor
covered with carpet and sea- co, cred with iamask,
with little stools to kneel down upon-(Bull Dog
ge says so the faithful will not dirty their pana.
oons')
Pretty soon, neutrality-suspicious. grand
and solemn, but generally fast and lively enough
for contra dance. (B D. said The player got
big salary 10 show of The organ, and draw big
house He commenced to play Old Hundred,
(Damphoo suggests Ancen, Cen'ury) At first,
majestic as i, should be, but soon his lett hand be-
gan 10 get unruIy among The bass noles, then the
right cup up few monkey shines in the treble !;
left threw in large assortment of quavers, right
lal off with uronl n,nrish 70,
rialions; left slrns gled manfuIy TO keep up, but
soon gave ou', dead beat, and after that went back
10 first principles and hammered away religiousy
al Old Hundred in spite Of the antics of fellow !;
right struck up march, marched into qnick sep,
quckened into gaop left snl kept al Old Hun.
dred right put in all sors of fantastic extras, 10
en,ce the left from its sense of proprieIy; left still
unmoved right put in few bars OF popular waltz ;
left wavets little right strikes up fvoIle polka !;
LEFT evidently yielding right dashes into JIG !; Left
now fairly deserts lis colors goes over TO the ene-
my and both commence animated hornpipe,
leaving poor Old Hundred 10 take care of itself
Al length with crash squeak, rush, a roar, a
cluded and service began
First, prayer then response; prayer re-
sponse by the priest and people alternately, like the
layers OF bread and butter and ham and mustard in
a sandwich then little sing, and then a little
preach, then more petitions and more responses
Damphool read the entire service, minister's cues
included and sung all The hymns | noticed that
Bull Dogge gave all The responses with great deal
of energy and vigor He said he always liked 10
come 10 this kind OF churct, because when they
jawed religion TO him. he could inv back.
Kept as cool as | could, but could not help
looking round now and then to the show -
Elderly lady on my right, ve-y devoul, gIledged
prayer book gold-covered fan, feathers in her bsn-
net, rings on her fingers. and for a. know, - bell.
on her loes.o Anliqualed gentleman in same slip,
well preserved but somewhat wrnkled, smells OF
Wall street, gold spectaces. gold headed cane, pni
three cents in The plate Fashionable little girl on
The left-two f1ounces on her panlacus, ard da
mond ring her glove. r....
Yonng America looking boy. four years old, pa
tent leather bools standing collar. gloves, cane,
and cigar case in his pocket, Foppish young man
adoescent mousache, pumps. legs la spermaceli
candles, shirt font embroidered a la $40 race
horse, cravat la Julien, vest a la pumpkin pie,
hair la soft soap, coat.lalls la boot jack which
when parted discovered a view of The Crystal Pa
lace by gas light, the Of his panraloons
wristbands la stove pipe, hat la wild Irishman
cane TO correspond: total effect la Shanghai.
Artificial young lady, extreme of fashion, can't
properly describe her, but here goes: whalebone.
cotton, paint and whiiewash slippers la Elsler,
feet la JaE anese, dress a la Paris, shawl la
eleven hundred dollar, parasol la mushroom,
rnglets la corkscrew, arms la broomsGck,
bonnet la Bowery gal, (Bull Dogse says the
boy withou, buttons on him brough, ii in teaspoon
fifteen minutes after she entered the house,) neck
a Ia scrag Of mutton, bosom la ba'ebones, com.
plexion a Ia moiher OF pearl, (DamPhool says she