The weekly Placer herald., 1854-05-20


Now will l shortly pour out my fury upon
thee, and accomplish mine anger upon thee,
and will Judge thee according to thy ways
and will recompense thee for all thine abom-
nations. Ezekiel vii, 8.
will early destroy all the wicked of the
land, that may cut off all the wicked doers
from the city of the Lord. Ps. CT, 8.
Brethren: Stop coughing, blowing your
noses and scrapng your feet, throw away
your tobacco, hold up your heads and look
at your shepherd. Deacon Grimvisage
hath left the vineyard, peradventure for
many days, but don't think that because
the cat is away that the mice of his con-
gregation are going to have full swing at
the meal bags of iniquity and the pie-crust
of damnation by long odds. If you do
not find me full grown mouser why just
put coppers in the contribution box, that's
all. Don't think that am stranger to
you, and take you for lot Of saints.
have been taking items for long time,
and have got you all sorted out, tied up
in punches like old jones' radishes, and
labelled in numbers from A to lizard.
I've been bottling up wrath against you,
and if it aint strong you need not pay for
it; and when get ready to pour it out on
your heads, the shoppers will fly without
corkscrew. When cut the string with
the pruning knife of correction you had
better stand by to dodge. got recipes
from all the old birthstone peders from
Jeremiah down to Elder Knapp, mixed
up sundry barrels of them, and boiled
them down to pint, and if it don't take the
dirt off the shirts Of hypocrisy that wrap
up your deceitful souls, l'll put you all
into the barrel of purgatory and maui
you with the powder of communication
l'll take. such a scruff off you that you'll
have to wear flannel shirts all summer to
keep from taking cold. Why you are so
begrimed with the filth and corruption of
sin, that if ever you should get to heaven
you would breed something more than
disturbance, and they would have to grind
up old Mercury himself to make vinment
to stop the propagation. If birthstone has
any bleaching powers, I'll whiten you so
that when the Deacon comes back he will
only have to use little of, the clear water
of good example, and a small cake of
exhortaton once week to make you look
quite respectable. The Deacon is a mild
man full of the milk of human kindness,
having great faith in the virtues of moral
suasion, given to prayer and kind expos
tulation, to the using of salves and healing
ointments; l come down on you with
scalpels, probes, amputation knives, turn
keys and blister plasters, and before he
comes back l'll cut open, dig into, cut off,
tear out and root up some of these fester-
ing old sores of corruption that send up
to Heaven a smell worse than the slaugh-
ter house on the Big Ravine does every
afternoon about sundown.
My perdition bound brethren: when |
had finished my inventory of your sins,
iniquitles, enOrInities and peccadlllos,
marked and numbered them for future
use, my heart was full of sorrow and my
spirit was weak, and groaned nightly
and lifted up my voice and cried "Oh
wicked and perverse generation," and |
wepl sore and tears were on my cheeks,
and my bowels were troubled even as the
bowels Of my old friend jeremiah, de-
ceased, and | went into my closet and
knet down, and drank draught of Stom-
ach-ache medicine that cost me three dol
lars gallon; in about fifteen minutes |
folt a good deal better. My dear hell
bound sinners, don't like to be too severe
with you on first acquaintance, and shall
at this time only warn you of the wrath
to come. | find among you every kind
and variety of sin, and if you were all
tied up IN bunch you would make
nosegay that would tickle the olfactories
of old Belzebub till his giggle would shake
all the kitchen furniture of TOphet, But