The Cedar County advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1856, 1854-04-01
ENDS AVID OnITlES.

/ 7 ENDS AND ODIT1Es. 3ft
hy Retirement is a prison TO the
fool, but paradise TO the WISE.
esa~ A joker says that cords of WOOD
given TO the poor are accorded above
| Esay~ An individual recently adyer.
ttised for board for Il "singie man and
his wife,"
Ek<s~ The Boston Posi- calls Novem.
Der and December the ea,bers Of the dy.
ling year.
ssy~ Young gentlemen who dress in
tigh; pants and bob.tail coats, have re-
ceived the a1pellation of "Shanghais.
gs1~ Happiness is bowl after which
We run wherever It runs, and we push II
with our feet when ii stops. - Goethe.
EsD~ Why are muske,oes the most re-
Iligious ofall insects Because they frs,
sing over you, and then prey on you.
re- 1t is said that one of the most
distinguished physicians of New En-
gland ascribes the fearful increase OF
paralysis to the use of stoves in close
rooms, particularly in sleeping apart
ments.
To- It is common to speak OF those
whom flirt has Tilted rs her victims
This is grave error her real victim is
the man whom she accepts.
ns~ "Don't talk to me about "your
gun cotton" said a gentleman. I'll
put my wife against any invention in the
world for blowing people up. II the
government could get her to sit down
opposite San Juan d'ulloa, the Mexicans
would leave mstanter."
GxAu.airE PuoD,sc.-Cut up four
laths in peck of saw dust. When
well mixed, bake ii by placing a pipkln
containing it in the sun for half an
hour. Serve it with sauce, made by
soaking cedar single in 4 pail Of well
water.
Hsg= The richest genius, like the
most fertile soil when uncultivated, shoots
up in the rankest weeds; and instead of
vines and olives for the pleasure and use
of man, produces to It's slothful owner
the most abundant crop OF poisons. Hume
TOTAL Loss.-A Yankee invented a
machine for extracting the lies from quack
advertisements. Some Of them are ney-
er seen after entering the machine, as
only the truth comes out.
! r15= A college stuGen, being exam.
ined in Locke where he speaks of our
relations to the Deity, was asked. what
relations do we most neglectH He an-
swered with much simplicity, Poor re-
la,lons, sir.
ErJ~ The Cincinnati Enquirer ought
to be ashamed of itself. Read this
In late abolition speech in n. Y,
Miss Lucy Stone said:
but know SO well there is cotton in
the ears of men, let me look for hope in
the bosoms of women"
| Won't you find cotton THERE too Miss
Lucya
! ssay~ An old Dutchman, who had re-
Gently joined the Temperance society,
was taken sick, and sen, 10 the eoctor to
| prescribe for him, who ordered hlm 10
take an ounce Of brandy per day. The
old chap overhauled his arithmetic, and
found III the table ofapothecarles' weight,
Eight drains make one ounce" "Mlne
-" says the Dutehman, dat ism de
Temperance for me. didn't get but six
drains before, and now gets eight"
Erg- Always have an eye on things
when you devour hash at the eating
houses. 4 friend Of ours the other day,
found himself trying to swallow the
tongue OF a jews-harp, a quarter OF
yard OF dish-cloth, the tooth OF a shell
comb, and quantity Of hard coal as
large as piece fchalk-For miscellany,
and field for discovery, there's no dish
! like hash.
! sss,~ Man was born to labor, and Is
/ so organized that he canno, he happy, or
healthy without some steady occupation.
And if labor and occupation are necessary
10 the healthy state, how much more
necessary must they not be to a mind
diseased
E-a5. There are two things that mod
est men should never undertake--to bor-
row money and study law.