Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1854-10-14
Mrs. aramble's soliloquy.

Mrs. Gramble's soliloquy. /.
"There's no calculating the difference
| between men and women boarders. Here's
Mr. Jones's been in my house these SIX
months, and no more trouble to me than my
gray kitten If his bed is shook up once a
week, and his coat, cravats, loye-lettefs
cigars and patent leather boots left und's'
turbed in the middle of the floor, he is as
contented as pedagogue lit vacation.
| eTake woman to board, and lit 1t is
perfectly conveniently she would like drapery
instead of drop curtains; she'd like the
window altered to open at the top, and a
wardrobe for her founced dressess and
few more nails and another shelf in heI
| closet and cricket to put her feet on, and
| little rocking chair, and peagreen shade
for her gas-burner.
| "She would like breakfast about ten
minutes later than your usual hour; tea ten
| minutes earlier. and the gong, which shocks
her nerves 50. altogether dispensed with.
| s:She can't drink coffee. because it is
| exhilerating broma, is too insipid, andchoco.
late too heavy She don't fancy cocoa
English breakfast tea, is the only beyerag &c
| which agrees with her delicate spinster
organization. @'~
|
| she might possibly peck at an egg, if it were
she never eats, unless she knows from what
composition. Every article offood prepared
| with buffet, salt, pepper mustard, vinegar OF
oil, or bread that is made with yeast, soda,
milk Or saleratus, she decidedly rejects.
"She is constantly washing out little duds
Of lacss. collars, handkerchiefs, chemisetts
and stockings which she festoons up to the
front windows to dry; giving passeIs BY the
! impression that your house is occupied by a
blanehesseuse-thenj jerks the bell-wire for an
hour or more, for relays Of hot smoothing
| irons 10 put the finishing stroke to her ope.
| rations.
"She is often afflicted with interesting
little colds and influenzas, requiring the
immediate consolation of dose OF hot
| lemonade or ginger tea choosing hertime
for these complaints when the kitchen fire
has gone out and the servants are on fur
Tough. Oh nobody knows but those who've
| tried, how immensely troublesome some
women are! I'd rather have whole regi-
ment of men boarders. All you have to tic
is to wind them up in the morning with a
powerful cup Of coffee, give them carte
blanche to smoke, and night key, your work
is done.-Fern Leaves. ,a'r 8, .s.ss.r
BRAck1sH THoucHrs.-By Punch Man on
the Shingles waiting in wrath for Bathing
Machine.)
That snob who keeps rae waiting so long,
while he is dressing after his bath, should
no, be judged harshIy He is probably some
counterlumper, who is usually obliged to
dress in Ave minutes. Perhaps, too, the
machine is more commodious than such a
wretched lodging as he can afford to hire.
Those women have left the water three
quarters Of an hour, and are still in their
machine They are romping. How vul-
carly they laugh. Doubtless. too, they are
dowdies, and after bungling over their
toilette for an auge, will come forth, bowed
and looking as if their lady's maid had
been a pitchfork hope they will, and
thus pay me for being kept here
The ass who swims worst is always the
one who bawls in the water, waddles about,
spIashes idiotically, and keeps his belters
ont Of the machine. A gentleman piunges
in, takes his swim in silence, and dresses
rapidly.
Women are all cheats. Those women
have cheated me out Of my turn, and the
women who keeps the machine pretends 10
think it is all right hope, for her sake,
that the season will be short; and very
cold. -ss Is ,x@as.
Those ugly women who went in last
would make more haste, but they think the
two pretty girls near me are waiting. and
50 in sheer spite they are doing their hair
here instead of going home like ladies, and
DO il in their bed rooms. hope they will
catch colds. zs....+e..
How that child shrieks in fear OF the sea
But I hear the mother slapping it, and
thrusting it in. And yet they say women
are tender-hea,tcd.s | would see the little
beast at Jericho before would expose my
self to hear such noises. There it screeches
again People have no right to annoy
others byicausing such yells-if they must
torture the brat, why don't they have tub
at home. ~ Il ~
DEER HUNTING ExTRAoRDINARY.-T
la.s rain having driven the deer very gene
| rally out of the marshes, some of our young
men, backed by dogs for the purpose, and
fully EARNED and equipped as the law
Directs sailed forth in quest of adventure
against these defenceiess wanderers few
days since, within short distance Of this
place. Having arrived at the scene Of sport,
the dogs quickly scented.a number of deer,
| al Of which, with onss exception, were
captured without much resistance. That
ons, however, was made Of better stuff and
determined TO die dear. Accordingly, he
gave the dogs so hard chase as to exhibit
4 wide gap between him and his pursuers,
and HE'D him from the woods 10 the cleared
land, every thing apparently fayoring his
escape But alas! fate decreed II otherwise.
It is true, he had distanced all his pursuers,
dogs and men lexcuse the placing, for the
dogs were in advancej but here more
successful though less formidable rival was
already in the field, in the shape Of mule,
which seeing the fugitive approach, picked
up his ears, neighed his battle note, and
gaIloped tot strife. Here he was gallant
y met by the deer, which: rearing up,
brought his fore fact down on his adversary
head. Thisannexpected reception rather
Disconnected the mule, but, nothing daunted,
he again met the foe. with similar result
IA third trial was made, bnt the mule came
OF second bestp On tho fourth trial he
concluded to change his tactics; when he
again met the enemy, instead Of receiving
his blows he sheered suddenly round, and
with one vigorous kick laid his adversary
dead upon the field