Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1853-06-01
From an English Periodical.
Marrying an Establishment.

From an English Periodical.
Marrying an Establishment.
In great manv novels, the scenes Of which ar
copied more or less faithfully from real life, thu
plot turns upon ''marriage of convenience" Ii
such affairs there are no tender glances, honiet
words, beating hearts, or other signs that Cupi(
has been at work, but cupidity, instead, shows it
traces. 1t is not love and beauty on one side and
chvalrous manly devotion on the other The mar
does not take the woman for his ''wedded wife, D
but he takes family alliance-a union of titles
an estate within ring fence-or seat for a bo-
rough. The woman does not take the man for hel
''wedded husband;" she accepts instead position
in life-a carriage, footman, the power to give
good parties, good pin money, and large join
ture. Another sort of marriage of convenience is
where some withered toothless old satyr of slip
pered pantaoon casts ''sheep's eyes" Fat youth and
comliness, and tsmpts her with Jewels and mag
nificence. In this sort of January and May alli-
ances, parents are popularity supposed to play a
very active part, representing the solid advanta-
ges of opulence and the fleeing joys of affection
In invidious contrast more especially If there is
young and poor lover-that ogre of match making
mothers-in the case. The arguments of the
Scotch song are used, and often prevail
And we shall walk in silk attire,
And siller ha' to spare,
Hye'l consent to be my bride,
Nor think of Donald mair
Such examples as these are what generally
come under the designation of marrying an estab-
lishment, and perhaps almost enough has been
said and written about them. Everybody, that
is everybody who reads novels, OF sconsults the
Morning Post, may be supposed to be tolerably
conversant with the loveless union of Lord Old
stile and Lady Vellet or the grim alliance of DR..
Toothless with Miss Dimple All about these
matches is known, but there is another class of
marriages for establishments of which we wish TO
speak, and which are in these latter days growing
far more frequent.
A quaint Yankee preacher once said that ladies
were tmid they were afraid to sing when they
were asked afraid Of taking cold afraid of snails
or splders,- he never knew one who was "a
fraid to be married Possibly the sex will reject
that as libel upon them. yet it certainly has Il
foundation in truth and nature. Marriage enters
more into the calculations of women than men,
1t appears greater event in their lives. Itrounds
their destiny. Men get Independent without ta-
king upon themselves family cares. Women, till
at least later period of life, continue to be de-
pendents upon the family circle, if single. There
are exceptions, but that is mostly the case, and it
is very natural that they should wish to be suns
in system of their own rather than minor satel-
lites of the parental home. Besides, to the earn
est and sincere, marriage is necessary, as the ave
nue. to the healthy exercise of those affections
which go to make up SO much of woman's nature,
and which are in other conditions left to stagnate,
often into disease. And for the giddy, the vanity
of being married is a sufficient inducement to look
out for a match
We will not insult the discerning reader by sup
posing that he or she does not know one OF the
most obvious characteristics of human nature. He
or she is of course aware that the more difficult
thing, the more desired, il not desirable, it be-
comes. Now it is fact, that for some years past,
marriages have been regularly decreasing in fire.
quency in proportion to the numbers Of the female
population We must not be suspected Of joking,
or of a tendency to satire, when we say that the
Discrimination is not upon the side Of the ladies'
AS we examine the subject, that will turn out to
be in their praise. The hanging back is upon the
part of the and some of the motives for it are
not much to their credit, because they are selfish
ones. A medical writer in the Lancet has lately
said that it is to be ascribed to the progress OF
|
men get more selfish. They want to ''keep up
appearances, and that costs nothing. They want
all they can get for themselves. They must have
good clothes, and jewelry, if it be only mosaic
They must 90 to the theatre sometimes and there
are other consequent outlets for money not to be
hinted at They prefer these thing, and solita-
ry two-pair back at Islington or Camberwell to
the cares and expenses of home. They say when
they put on their hats that their family is covered
and other selfish things. blooming wife and
laughing. children are in their catalogue not of
comforts but of dangerous expenses. They feel
that marriage is a serious ceremony in more ways
than one. 1t is not only all obligation to love and
honor, &C., but to furnish house and pay ba-
kers' bills. That, too civilization has made more
difficult The appearances to be kept up are more
onerOus than they used TO be. The Jacks and
Jils of middle life are not to-day what they were
in the times of our forefathers They can no Ion
ger begin life in two rooms, with wooden bottom
ed chairs, an oaken table, and French bedstead.
The establishment must spring up as complete as
Minerva from the brain Of Jove. The young la
dy has been TO boarding school and got "accom-
pishmonts )" the young gentleman has acquired
ideas of dignity. They both stand in awe of that
Mrs. Harris of public life Mrs Grundy. 'What
will she say" To satisfy her they must have,
in addition toa snug parlor. miniature drawin g
room with knick There must be gliding
and glitter as well as solid comfort. The young
lady must not soil her delicate hands with house
hold work. What! Marry without servant
Oh, horrid All their mammas, and half their
manageable daughters, would put their fingers in
their ears to stop out the horrid sounds. Then
dress makes greater demands than of old. Pretti-
ness can no longer consent to appear in prints
sentiment has an affinity to satin, and love some
mysterious connection with lace Really it is no
wonder that the men, what with the greater sell
ishness produced by civilization, and the increas-
ed requirements of matrimony, are cautious of en-
terng into that state. If ladies must have estab-
lishmens TO start with, and that is unquestionably
the rage now why they must marry them instead
OF men. They must not look for glossy locks and
bright eyes, for the pOssessors of these attractions
have not yet had time to make little fortunes
They must turn to grey hair and wrinkles, which
have been successful, and they are both few and
cautious SO that what with the limits set by wo-
men, and the coldness of the men, marrying "re-
specially" has become difficult, and the scarcity
of ''good matches" makes it quite natural that
there should be scramble after establishments.
This is only half the truth. Besides the men
who will not marry from selfish, or, if you please
prudential l,nat is The pretier term motives, there
are oilers who cannot marry. The monasteries
of other times made great many celibatcs, but
the commercial celibacy of the present is far more
extensive. There are more hnen-draper's shop
men and miliners' apprentices and workwomen
alone, to say nothing of other classes, than there
were monks and nuns in the merry days of yore.
They do not take vows not TO marry, it is true,
but they afe bound to soitariuess by necessity un-
der awful penalties. Take the case of the shop
man; what chance has he of marrying putting
aside the scantiness of his wages, he knows very