Monongalia mirror. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1855, 1853-04-23
From tho Musical World and Times.
THE BORE OF THE SANCTuiT.

tectly welcome. Thctc is never any
thing Of importance going on in a
editors Sanctum; visitors arc alway
anxiously expected, and the advent {
anybody like yourself is II pe,fee
Go1.send. Editors have nothing {
S consequence to do; they arc onl
drones in the literary hive; living O
tile honey made by their subordin ates
They have a little manuscript and
few letters to read occasionally. an
perhaps bill or two to settle, no,
and then; but that is nothing.
Take the arm chair, Mr.. Leisure
the one with cushion and revolvin,
seat; draw it up to the table, and wit
one sweep of your elbow send all th'
Editors scissor-ations flying, like
snow.hakcs, into the air; examine tn.
superscriptions ofhis letters and peeI
inside of them if you like. What:
the use Of calling this free country
if you can't act with freedom 7 Pul
over the Exchanges" tear off the
wrappers. and pocket any papers yor
may fancy, before the Editor has hat
an opportunity of seeing them, and
without troubling yourself to ascer'
tain whether you arc welcome to dc
so, or not. Suppose you are mt,
that's nothing to yoD; and what the
Editors wishes may be-is Of no con.
sequence.
Order the office boy to make up
more fire, or to open window, just
rs youi individual thermometer may
dictate. You will of course wish to
write a letter. Very well; help your.
self to paper-there is plenty oft,
you see; and pen, and ink, too.-
Interrupt the Editors cogitations by
asking him the day of the month, and
what county the town of Shrewsbury,
state of Iowa, is in. Tell him his
ink is abominable and his pen perfect
ly Notwithstanding in a few gene
raj remarks. to the effect that Editori-
al and hotel pens are always unmiti-
gatedly bad-and set him rummaging
for something better. Then tell him
that your letter is TO a lady, and that
of course, you want white envelope.
instead of'one of those yellow things
and a letter stamp, too, as yon must
ssa XII BOY oAt has S4 ssSs hfs
press your regret that you have no
small change to pay for them; saying
and you can laugh at your wit, and
so pass the thing of handsomely
"but these little things always regu-
late themselves in the end" Having
sealed your letter, vociferate to the
"devil" to come and carry tito the
post office, quickj and borrow quar-
ter of the Editor to pay him for car
rying it; rsmarking that !, is prin-
ciple with you never to ask gratuit-
GUS favor Of anybody-especially ofa
boy; but that you always pay for ser.
vices rendered.-Now, you can bor-
row cigar from the Editors case
call for matches; "apply the caloric
to the prepared weed" throw your
muddy boots over pile Of "accept-
ed manuscripts" and puff away; &C.
casionuly humming, in atone between
agurgle and howl, snatches Of
Il knew by the smoke tina. so gracefully enrled'
or Of something else appropriate to
the occasion )" ever and anon knock.
ing eff your cigar ashes into the ink
stand:
Your cigar finished, turn around to
your victim and ask. in confidential
tome, What is tho exact circulation Of
his paperl and stick to the point till
you get some definite information a.
bout it. Try, also, to worm out of
him what each assistant editor gets a
week; what contributors receive !;
how much the advertisements annual
" yield; if some persons don't get
advertising cheaper than others; if the
Journal is really honest and impartial
in its criticisms WHO actually writes
the leaders WHO writes the "search-
ing" articles on the rascality Of the
Aldermen; how many shareholders
there arc in the Journal, and who
owns the most stock; what is the ac-
tual valuation Of the establishment,
and what percentage it pays, and who
writes the musical criticisms; continu'
ing the pumping process as long as it
may prove agreeable-to you.
Ali! here comes lot Of proof,
Pounce upon it, Mr.. Leisure, end
read it slowly; although YOU see the
composi,or waiting for Tie Editor tt
correct it. Try your hand at making
a few corrections yourself. You wi.
of course scratch and blot the pape
so as to render it ineligible; but NJ
matter. ou can make mat all squar
by throwing it down, at last, with tn
exclamation "that you never coul'
get the hang of correcting proof
And now, while the Editor is restol
Iing the defaced document you shoul
, carefully examine the manuscript &C
py; as you may, perhaps, recogniz
The handwriting, ard thus make ant
ther addition to your stock of uset!