Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1853-09-01
|. The individual that stole march

H The individual that stole march
has been put into the same cell with
Representation the Thief of Time!
"Embracing Christianity" is wha,
The King of Siam said the first time ne
hugged an English girl. Not bad for
pagan.
w"Come here. sonny. and tell me
what the four seasons are." sb ##
Young Prodigy .-"Pepper. mustard,
salt and vinegar-them's what nanny
always seasons with.
Eg-"I shall die soon, Cufry; | must
set out on long journey
"Berry well," replied Cuffy;..l guess
you hab good goin', cause its all The way
down hill"
u'The little darling-he didn't .irike
Miss Smith s baby purpose, did he?-!
Ii was mere accident, wasn't il, DEAR
"Yes, ma, TO be sure twas and If he
don't behave himself I'll crack him a
gain
GHosTs AND WArER.-A Dutchman
having recently heard rum called spirits,
asked the waiter at an inn who had Civ
en- him grog too much reduced. "Vat
ter tyfel for you don't put bleniy of
ghosts on top Of de va,er!"
DAn exchange informs US that there
ls a benevolent gentleman in Boston, who
gives twenty-five cents for religious pur-
poses every time he swearsi "IIe has
already blasphemed new steeple on the
Presbyterian church., and is now engag-
ed IN cussing up donation to the Home
Missionary Society" -
Pun FOR I'Ypos.-"* OF my exist
ence, give me an 49, said printer
TO his sweetheart. She Immediately
made - a, him, and planted her V-
between his Is, nearly putting a to his
existence. Such an outrage was the .
oil Faust, looking I rs at her, sis proha.
bly, without in this, of the country,
and is good subject for a g. y -
SIsTERLY ArFEcrloN--A FAcT.--At.
"protracted meeting" held whilom,
not thousand miles from Ballston Spa.
an ancient sister in the church arose and J
relieved herself as follows:--''I see
young lacies here tina! seem to love gcw-
gaws, furbelows, ribbons and laces more
than their Creator. loved them once,
and adorned my hat with French arti-
fetal flowers, bright colored ribbons and
sky-blue trimmings. but ! found ,hey
were dragging me down to h-ll, and 4
took them of and gaze them TO my SIS
terri
v"Pat can ye tell me what is a vif-
gin!'
"ro be sure can, Jimmy"
"Weli, thin, will ye be aflher dom il!
"Yes, jst; it's woman that has nev-
er been married at all.
s'Be ye in airnesi, Pat!'
"Yes, jimmy"
"The saints in heaven be praised,
then; my mother is a virgin; my father
never married her at all, sure"
CoNFAB.--Duichman--Coo, moryer,
| Patrick; how you tuZ!
Irishman-Good mornin' ill We, Mikes
dyer think we'll get rain The day!
| DutCuindu-hcsS HUts We HtVcT nave
much rain in ferry try dime.
Irishman--Fai,h an ye're right there.
Mike, and Thin wheniver il gi,s in the
way . rainin', the divil bit o. dhry
wi,her will we git as long as the wei
spell howlds. aae
IVA lad from "G reen ISLE whose
occupation was tina, of blacking stoves,
ire-places and stove pipes. bearing upon
his arm a pot of blacking. with brushe.
and other implements Of his trade. adj
dressed denizen of the city who was
standing at his door.
elias your honor any stoves to polish
this morning! I'm the boy for that bus
mess"
The person addressed mol being of a
courteous manner, grufiiy answered.
! "Go about your business. h
/ Pa,mosed few steps of, 10 be out
! Of the reach of kick, and replied with
a kuoWiuy wink bA