Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1853-04-13
SMUGGLING AsPASSENGER. Z

England railroads, a few days since. A pas
senger was experimenting the operation of
transferring his baggage from porter's cart to
the baggage car, and when the baggagem master
placed a long black box upon one end in the car,
he was startled by voice crying out .n.
Don't-don't stand me on my head"
The baggage-master, who, by the way, was
about as ihick-headed as many of the officers
of the Old Colony road, stared in round-eyed
wonder. The occupant of the box repeated
with some impatence:
"rm on my head, tell you! Turn me over
quick!"
The frightened baggage-master, with consid-
cradle trepdaton, placed the box in a horizon
tie position, when the voice cried outs
"That won't do! You've put me on my face
O!Om um gs.
The manipulation Of trunks asd carpet-bags
reversed the position of the troublesome box,
when sort of grunt of satisfaction issued from
within, and wiping the perspiration from his
brow, he addressed the owner of the baggage,
a comical-looking little man, with large eyes and
iron grey hair, who was ust walking rapidly to-
wards the passenger cars, with iff
81 say look here. You must pay fare for
this young gentleman in the box"
90, no." was the reply; "Tve carried him
more than fifty thousand miles upon railroads,
and never paid his fare yet"
"Can't help it. You can't smuggle nobody
over this ERE road ; and if you don't fork over
I'll set him out on The platform, and leave him
standin' on his head; you kin depend on that
old feer."
The incensed official was about suiting the
action to the word, when the conductor of the
train approached the dsputants, and he recog-
al. ,,t- g ,hah ox,
sonage than the renowned Signor Blitz, the
ventriloqust and wizard. The conductor had
witnessed the Signors performances in Boston
more than once, and when he understood that
the only occupant of the said box was the au-
tomaton boy Robby," who figures in the ven
triloquial scenes during the entertainments of
the Wizard, he readily allowed him to pass as
q deadhead."
After the train had gone, the perpexed bag
gage-master found in one Of his vest pockets
quarter, which he declares must have been
placed there by magic. Boston Herald
THE FIRST CIGAR.-Among a certain class of
ill-trained boys, smoking and chewing tobacco
are thought TO be unquestionabe requisites to
all who would be considered manly and indie
pendent. few days ago, saw ragged, pale
faced, sorry-looking boy about seven years old,
putting what was evidently his first cigar He
stood leaning against house, his cheeks drawn
in, his eyes red and watery, his countenance
bearing the expression Of nausea, and altogeth-
err looking as though he were ready to repent
of his foolish bargain Several other lads, lit
tie older, stood around, encouraging him, and
anxiousiy awaiting the result of the experiment.
Poor, silly boy! He probably thought it was a
fine, manly thing he was learning, instead of a
dirty, disgusting and unhealthy habit, which will
prove curse to him as long as he lives, if not
broken up. / can hardly believe he would have
endured the deathy nausea of that first cigar
with such martyr-like patience, had he suspect
ed the real nature of the process he was going
through.
There are other boys every day going thro'
the same initiatory steps, under the same
strange delusion. Some into whose hands this
book will fall, may be exposed to the same dan
ger. To such would say, beware how you
er by chewing, smoking or snuffing, is both a
evil continually. The most skful physicians
in the world have testified TO its dangerous eff.
fects upon the system The most eminent men
in the various other walks of life, -clergymen
and teachers, judges and lawyers. men of liter
ature, art, science and morals,-have denounced
the use of tabacco as one of the greatest evils
of the day. 1t would be difficult to find can
did and well-informed man, who would serious
ly deny this position, so well-estabshed is the
fact. Boys Own Guide.
A very singular funeral took place on Satur-
day afternoon in Twenty-Sixth street. A per-
son by the name Of Jarleyson died on the MORN
ing Of the 18th, and but few moments pre-
vous, made those who surrounded his bedside
solemnly promise to obey his dying injunctons,
which were that Immediately after his demise
his body should be wrapped with common hemp
bed cords, and over this extraordinary swathing,
should be folded sheets of tissue paper dipped
in vinegar, and after this was done, that his body
should be placed in the coffin face downwards,
with the feet at the head of the coffin, and that
upon the lid should be tackled &. ticket admit
ting him free to the regions of the blest.
The strangest part of the whole proceeding
was that the dying mans njuncions were car
ried out to the very letter-he was wrapped
with the bed-cords, bandaged with the tissue
paper, placed as directed in the coffin, and to
crown the whole, the hearse was the last vehi-
Gle in the funeral cortege IN. Y Day Book.