Southern standard. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1851-1856, 1853-01-15
Ride and Tie; or, Spelling Wedding Party
BY CHARLEY CLEWLINE.

John Macallaster was Scotchman by trade, and
a caulker by birth-or Vice VerSa-the best
tured fellow in the world, and one of the most per-
severing bores in all the whole west-out west.
l did John good turn once, accidentally, and
he never forgot it or me ether for gratitude was
Just as much part of Johns nature, as his trade
or accent was, and he always declares he was born
with both of them perfect.
| had been in Cincinnati two months, during
which time John had hung to ME like a barnacle,
always insisting upon buying my cigars, theatre
tickets all barber and barroom shaves, and almost
quarreled with me once because l refused to al
low him to settle with my wash-woman- although
will own up that the poor woman needed the
money, and ought TO have been paid.
At last, l thought l had given John the slip,
for had got Job about two hundred miles up
the river on the Virginia side, and keeping it a
most profound secret, l got all ready for start,
and when | went on board the steamer upward
bound, I'll be hanged if the first man met wasn't
John Macallaster.
e'Why, where the devil are you bound, John, -
I asked, as soon as l could from establishment.
go, I'm Just going up long with you, Mr.
Clewline. | heard about an hour ago, that you
was going to build boat up there in Virginia, and
so l said-I'll go up there and caulke her. Car
have the job, sir 90
resigned myself to my fate and said-"Yes
you can have her"
I thought he wouldn't botherme so much up il
the woods, but he did.
AS specimen of what John could do in thu
, boring line, will just mention that he owned
r splendid horse, which he always insisted upon M
riding when l went any where.
Well, one Sunday evening, he lent me his mes
senger colt to ride four miles accounting, and te
minutes after had got all comfortable, stowe
away along side of Isabel, in popped the confound
ed Scotchman, having ran all the way on loot
a ask me which side he should begin caulklng o
It Monday morning.
After told him, he would Mt go off till wen
v and as there was mighty little use making low
Q with him there, talking about horses and oakun
went off early, eursing the Internal bore at ever
u other step, all the way home.
J. John would hang to me, in spite OF all cou
do to make him mad, or quarrel with me- or SOM
lie thing else, to get rid of him.
Once told him that aquafortis made the mo
e, beautiful boot polish in the world; and when
Sc had put up both pair of his calf-skin goto-mee
ings all into crisp, and came to me with the 7
IN mander of his patent polish, and face as long
$ a hand-saw called him and the druggist W
sold him the backing, eternal fools, both for Sc
M inc and using nitric acid for aquafortis
m Another time, when he had very bad led, a
IN set him crazy by my prescription OF Pota
~ noul;ce. he cursed the old woman for making
"a, too strong, and held me blameess in spite OF eve
m body. :,
a. sible girl, on the Ohio side, about twenty mi
It. down the river by land, and when the time can
Id he insisted upon my going down with nm 70
IT. wedding.
hung back, and made excuses enough to s.