Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1853-10-12
Tom Fray's Soliloquy.
''Most any female lodger up stairs,
Occasions thouubt i'm him who lodres under


Occasions thought in him who lodges under"
Don't they tho? Not deuced thing have
been able to do since that little gypsy took then
rooms over head, about week ago Pat, pat
pat, 90 those little feet over the floor till am as
nervous as cat in china closet, and, (coWould-
ed pretty feet they are, too, for caught sight o
'em going up stairs.) Then can hear little
rocking chair creak, as she sits there sewing and
keeps singing, "Loue not tore not" Gust as if
fellow could help it.") Wish she wasn't quite SC
pretty; it makes me feel decidedly uncomfortable
Wonder if she has any great six footer of broth
er, or cousin with sledge-hammer fist Wish
was her washer woman, or the little nlgger who
brings her breakfast; wish she'd faint away on
the stairs; wish the house would ketch flre to-
night! Here | am in this great barn of room,
all alone chairs and things set square up against
the wall no little feminine .tGil round; shall
have to buy second hand bonnet, or little pair
of gaiter boots. to cheat myself into the deluslon
that ''there's taco of u.s." Wish that little gypsy
want shy as rabbit can't meet her on the
stairs, If die for it; I've upset my ink stand a
dozen times, hopping up when thought heard
her coming. Wonder if she knows, when she
sits vegetating there, that Shakespeare, or Sam
Slick, or somebody, says that Happiness is born
a twin 2" cause if she don't Pm the missionary
that will enlighten her Wonder if she earns her
living? (poor little soulD It's time | had wife,
by Christopher! Sitting there prcking her fin
gers with that murderous needle! If she was
sewing on my dickeys it would be worth while
now That's it-by Jove! I'll get her to make
me some dickeys; don't want 'em any more than
Satan wants holy-water, but that's neither here
nor there shall insist upon her taking the meas
&C. 4 81 aha1nr hav IN hp
There's pretty kettle of fish now either she'll
have to stand on cricket, or shall have to get
on my knees to her. Solomon couldn't fix any
thing better deuce take me if | couldn't say the
right thing them This fitting dickeys is work
of time too. Dckeys isn't to be got upin hurry.
Halo, there's the door bell there's big trunk
thumped down in the entry Is Mrs. Legare at
home? Mrs. Legare! like that now. Have
been in love whole week with Mrs. Legare =
Never mind, may be she's widow ! Tramp,
tramp, up comes those masculine feet up stars
handsome fellow, too! n e buc h ad ezzar!
III ever heard kiss in my life heard one
then! won't stand it!-it's an invasion OF my
rights Pll listen at the door as Pm a sinner =
What right have sea captains on shore, I'D like
to know? Confound it all Well, / always
knew women wer'nt worth thinking of; set of
deceitful little monkeys, changeable as rainbow,
superficial as parrots as full of tricks as conurers
stubborn as mules vain as peacocks, noisy as mag
pies, and full of the cold Harry"all the time !
There's .'Dclital" now; didn't she take the
strength out of Sampson? and wer'nt 'Sisera"
and sJudith' born fiends, and didn't the little
mink of "Herodias" dance John the Baptist's
head off Didn't Sarah "raise CAIN with A
braham, till he packed Hagar off? Then there
was-well, the less said of HER the better but
didn't Eve the foremother of the whole concern.
have one talk too many with the ''old serpent?"
Of course, she didn't do nothing else! Glad |
never set any of my young affections on any o'em!
Where's my cigar case? How tormented this
room is