The Santa Fe weekly gazette. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.T. [i.e. N.M.]) 1851-1854, 1853-11-19
Written for the Nep York. Duichman.
MODERN C0NvENTIONALITITIEs
--oR,--
JipsOns Great Dinner Party.
ny JACK HUMPHRIEs.
well, YOU must do it,

DO it, sir, reiterated the lady OF Jlpson, man |
well enough 10 do in the world, chief clerk Of
sugar baker, and receiving his twenty hundred
dollars a year, with no perquisites however, end
plenty Of New Hampshire contingencies, Ito quote
our beloved man Of the million, Theodore Parker)
poor relations
'Brt nv dear Betsey, do you know, will you
consider for once, that TO do thing Of the kind
10 splurge out like Tannersoil, one must expect
1t least do, 10 sink full quarter Of my salary
for the current year; yes, my dear, full quar-
ter.'
'ohl very well, il You arc going to live up
here (Jipson had just moved up above Becker
streeO and have bought your carriage, and en-
gagged --'
Two extra servant girls,' chimed in Jipson.
'And groom, SIR continued Mrs ].
'And gone into at least six hundred to eight
hundred dollars year extra expenses, to- a
'To crafty yourself, and -
'Your a-a--your vanity, Madam, you should
have said.'
'Don't talk that way to me, to me, you brute;
you know
Il know all about It, my DEAR
my dear-bahp 7 said the ladyj mydear indeed
save that, MIR. Jipson, for some OF your-a--a
- ...
What Mrs. ]. might have said, we scarce could
Judge; but Jipson just then put in a 'reioinder'
calculated to prevent the umpullacious tone OF
Mrs. Jipson's remarks, by saying, in very hum
bic strain
Mrs, Jpson, don't mike an ass Of yourself we
are too old to act like goslins, and too well ac-
unainted, hope with the matters-of-fact OF every
day life, to quarrel about things beyond our reach
or control.'
IF you talk of things beyond your control, Mr..
Jpson, mean beyond your reach, that your in
come will not permit us to live as other people
live -
Twoudn't like to- interpesed Jipson.
'Whatr asked Mrs. Jipson.
Live like other people-that is, some people,
Mrs. Jipson, that know off,
'You don't suppose Pm going 10 bury myself
and my poor girls in this big house, and have
those servants standing about me, their fingers in
their mouths, with nothing to do but -
| But whatn
But cook, and worry, and slave, and keep shut
up for q -
'Fcr what?
'F0r -
But Mrs. Jipson was stuck. Jlpson saw that
he OWNED what point Mrs. ]. was about 10
mike, bnt could not cohstientiously make, so he
relieved her with
/ 'My dear Beisey, it's popular fallacy, an ex-
ploded idea, a contemplate humbug. 10 live mere
" for your neghbors, the rabble world at large.
Thousands do it, nv dear, and have no objec-
on TO their doing it it's their own business and
none of mine. have moved up town because |
thought it would be more pleasant bought a
modest kind Of family carriage because | could
afford il, and believed II would add to our re-
| nd
quired care engaged a man 10 attend them, fix
up the garden and be useful generally; and added
girl or two 10 your domestic departments, in
order 10 tighten your own cares, &c. Now all
this, my dear woman, You ought to know, rests a
very important responsibility upon my shoulders,
health, life and-two thousand dollars year, and
if you imogine il compatible with common sense
or consonant with my Judgment, to make an ass OIL
fool OF myself, by going into the extravagances
and tom fooleries Of Tannersoil, our neighbor over
the way, who happens for the time 10 be 'undel
government with salary Of nothing 10 speak Of
but with stealngs equal TO those Of successful
freebooter, you-you-you have placed a.;
d--d bad estimate upon my common sense
Madam
With this haring burst Of eloluence, Jipsor
seized his that, gloves and cane, and soon nigh
be seen an elderly, natty, well shaved, slightly
flushed gentleman taking his seat In downtown
bound bus, en- ronte for the sugar bakery Of Cutt
Comeagain & Co. 1t was evident, however, from
the frequency with which Jpson piled his knit
and rubber to his 'fggers' Of the days accounts
and the tremnlousness with which he drove tn
porcupine quill, that Jipson was thinking OF some
thing else.
'Mr. Jpson, wish you'd square up that accoun
Of Look, Sharp & Co. to-day said Mr. tutt en-
tering the counting room.
'All d-d folly y said Jpson, scratching out
mistake from his .daybook, and not needing tn
remark, though he saw the person Of his en-
ployer.
'Eh' was the ejaculation Of Cutt.
'All d-d folly.'
4 donot understood you, sir said Cutt, in uttc
astonishment.
, 'Oh beg pardon, sur said poor Jipson; be
pardon, sir. Engrossed IN little affair Of m
own, quite overlooked your observation. wi
attend TO the account Of Look, Sharp & Co. {
once, sir : and while Jpson was al it, his employ
er went out, wondering what on earth could :
] the matter with Jlpson, man whose capacity an
gentlemanly department the firm had tested
+ iheT satisfaction for many years previous. tn
' little incident was mentioned to the partne
: Comeagain, The firm first laughed, then wondert
II Wnal was up 10 ulSluTD llh usual equilibrium
Jpson. and ended by hoping he hadn't taken
drink or nothing
0 sGuess I'd better do IT, sollloQuised Jipson,-
O 'liy wife is a good woman enough, but like mo
women, lets her vanity trip up her common sent
: now and then she feels cut down to know ih
!, Tannprsoil's folks are plungiug out with Dime
r and evening parties, troops Of company. piano e
ing, and bawlng away ter new fol de ro musi
. Yes, guess I'll do IT.
r Mrs Jipson little calculates the horrors n
only in pccuniary, but domestic sense, that the
: dinners, snppers and parties to the ragtag al
bobtail, costs many honest meaning people wi
ought 10 be ashamed Of them.
0 but III do il. d. me! II II costs me u
!. whole quarters salary.
A few days were sufficient 10 concoct deai
!, and arrange the programme.
% When Mrs. Jpson discovered, as she vain
"a supposed, the prevalence Of better sense' on d
. part Of her husband she was good as cranber
% tart, and few around in the best Of humor,
hurry up the event that was to give eclat to 4
. new residence and family Of the Jipsons, slight
~ dim The radiance Of the mushroom glory Of 4
Tannersoil family, and create commotion zen