Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-05-31

Nmio,, of Spittsrs.-Let six Americans
meet round stove, in bar-room, or
parlor, or hotel drawing-room of morn
ing-of the six, four will spit before
speaking a word one will bid good
morning first, and spit afterwards the
sixth will make a remark somewhat at
length upon the weather, and, by way of
compensation for extraordinary retention,
spit twice or thrice.
Hard Time.-We find the following
description of d fight between two per-
sons in Western paper:
They fit and fit,
And gouged and bit.
And struggled in the mud,
Until the ground,
For miles around,
Was kivered with their blood
And pile of noses, ears and eyes,
Large and massive, reached the skies.
The Girls.-They think of Hymen and
they can't help signing. When their
lovers forsake them they can't help cry
ing. They sit at the window and can't
help spying. They screw up their COR
sets, bring on consumption, and can't
help dying.
4 Culinary Con.-Why ought meat to
be only half cooked!
Because what's done cannot be helped.
Patriotic.
''Breeve dere de soul so kill so dead
As nebber to hisself hab said
Dis is my own, my native land?
1t such dere beeve. go wild de ninny.
Carry him back to ole Virginny''
knotty.-A countryman popped his
head into lottery Office, and seeing only
one man sitting at the desk, asked him
what he had for sale. To which the
would be wit replied, 'sloggerheads. F"
Then, sir" says The countryman,
''your trade is almost at an end, for see
you hare but one lef."
Loue and Low.-A young lawyer who
had paid his court to lady without
much advancing his suit, accused her one
day of being insensible to the power of
loue.
It does not follow" she archly re-
piled, ''that | am so because am not to
be won by the power of attorney."
Forgive me" replied the sutton, .but
you should remember that all the votaries
Of Cupid are solicitors"
The Happy PAR.
Says Dick to Jack, = Your neighhors saw
You wrangle with your wife each day.
Poo. poo" says Jack, " they only Joke
IT'S now fortnight since we spoke''
Office Seeking. -" No-n-now Caesar,
why does you always dance off on de heel
OBJ fancy? Dis chile nebber tear hisselfi
away from Uncle Sam. Now dis is de
offs l ply for, and Use great influence wild
Massa Campbell's waiter, so guess get
it. Use gwine to ply for de post ofsexton
in Pose Offs apartment"
"Sexton in Pose Offs apartment 2"
Eyes sab, I berry de dead letters. Some
time dey hab money in EN-, and den I
rifle de corpse! You see, sab? Yah
yah yah! '
Hon. it ,ras Done" Elder, will YOU
have drink of cider inquired farmer
Of an old temperance man, who was
spending an evening at his house.
"Ah !-hum-no-thank ye," said the
old man, g never drink any liquor of
any kind-'specially cider-but if you call
it apple juice, reckon III take drop"
Personal -" Julius, why didn't you OBJ
long your stay at de Springs 2"
Cease, Mr.. Snow, dey charged too
much.''
81 How so, Julius 2"
g Why, de landlord charged dis colored
individual wild stealin' de teaspoons, and
as was afraid he might get personal I |
perambulated to the cars and walked |
home"
sharp" I owe you one," said with
cred old CHlebs to lady the other night |
at party. g For what z" said she.-
" Why, for calling me young gentle
man" If did so," was the rather ILL
natured reply, 81 beg you will not regard
it as compliment for, believe me,
though AN old man, you may still be
young gentleman.
Com,eal.-" Is there much water in the
cistern, Biddy 2" inquired gentleman of
his Irish girl, as she came up from the
cellar.
cit is full on the bottom, sir. but there's
none at the top" was the reply. !