Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1853-01-26
Getting MRri'ted.

During the last summer a little incident
transpired in one Of the Eastern towns,
which afforded some amusement to the
spectators at the time, and furnished food
for considerable gossip thereafter. 1t
occurred in church, on one of those quiet
S lnday afternoons, when all the world
seems just ready 10 drop asleep; when the
flies buzz lazlly on the window panes, and
the dog lies quietly on the door-stone.
The afternoon service had ended, and
the congregation were arranging them
selves for the benediction, when, to the
great astonishment and manifest interest of
the worshippers, the good parson descend
ed from the pulpit to the desk below, and
said in a calm, clear voice, ''those wishing
to be united in the holy bonds of matrimo-
ny will now please to come forward" A
deep stiffness instantly fell over the con-
gregation, broken only by the rustling OF
silk as some pretty little girl or excited
matron changed her position, to catch the
first view of the couple to be married. No
one, however, arose, or seemed in the least
inclined to arise. Whereupon, the worthy
clergyman, deeming his first notice unheard
or misunderstood, repeated the invitation.
"Let those wishing to be united in the
holy bonds of matrimony now come for
ward"
Still no one stirred. The silence became
almost audible, and painful sense of the
awkwardness Of the position was gradually
spreading among those present, when a
young gentleman who had occupied va.
cant slip in the broad aisle during the SER
ivce, slowly arose, and deliberately walked
to the foot Of the altar. He was good look.
ing and well dressed, but no one present
knew him, aud no female accompanied his
travels. When arrived within a respecta-
BILE distance Of the clergyman, he paused,
and with reverent bow stepped to one
side of the aisle, but neither said anything
or seemed at all disconnected at the idea OF
being married alone.-The clergyman look
ing anxiously around for the bride-who
he supposed was yet to arrive-at length
remarked to the young gentleman, in an un-
der tone, "The lady, sir, is dilatory p
every, sir. "-"Had we not better defer the
ceremony '"--"I think not. Do you not sup
pose she will be here soon p "Me, sir, :"
said tie astonished shepherd, 'how should
| know of your lady's movements! That
is matter belonging to yourself"
A very few moments more we're suffered
to elapse in this unpleasant state of expec-
fancy, when the clergyman renewed his
interrogatories.
''Did the lady promise to attend at the
present hour, sir l''-"What lady: Why
the lady. to be sure, that you are waiting
here for. ID did not hear her say any
thing about it," was the satisfactory res
ponse -"Then, sir, may ask why you are
here, and for what purpose you thus trife
in the sanctuary Of the Most High" said
the somewhat enraged clerical.-'1 came,
sr, simply because you invited all those
wishing to be united in the holy bonds ol
matrlmony to step forward, and happened
to entertain such wish am very sor.
ry to have misunderstood you, sir, and wish
you very good day."
The benediction was uttered with a so.
lemnity of tone very little in accordance
with the twitching of the facial nerves and
when, after the church was closed the sto.
ry got wind among the congregation, more
than one little girl regretted that her wish
es had not been as boldly expressed as the
young gentleman's, who had really wished
to be "united IN the holy bonds of matri
mony."-.Ntp Orleans Picayune.