Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1853-05-28
Miscellaneous II g
From Ihackeray's Barry Lyndon
FRS. Love FruitlcSS.

AT fifteen, there was scarce a lad OF twenty,
for half a.dozen miles round, that | had rot
beaten for one cause or other. There were
the wears two sons of Castle Brady-in course
i could not associate with such beggarly brats
as them, and many battle did we have as to
who should take the wall in Brady's town;
there was Pat Lurgan, the blacksmith's son,
who had the better of me four times before we
came to the crowning fight, when | overcame
him; and could mention a score more OF my
deeds of prowess in that way, but that fsticuf
facts are dull subjects to talk Of, and to dis
cuss before hgh-bre gentlemen and ladies.
How ever, there is another subject. ladies on
which must discourse, aad that is never out OF
place. Day and night you like to hear OF ii;
young and old, you dream and think of it
Handsome and ugly. land, faith, before fifty, |
never saw such thing as plain woman,)
it's the subjec, next TO the hearts OF all oi
you; and think you guess my riddle without
more trouble Lore! sure the word is form
ed on purpose out of the prettiest soft vowels
and consonants in the language, and he or
she who does not care to reed about 1t is not
worth a fig to my thinking
1t may possibly be becomming for ladies to
fall in love only once in their ves-vz. with
the happy individual on whom their hands are
bestowed: it may, say, be possibly becom-
ing and vrtuousin them to bring virgin hearts
to ST. Georges, Hanover square; and it is
certain that the jealous, greedy, selfish sultan
Man, would so contine their affections, 1t he
could, nor allow them to think and feel until
such time as he chooses to select them as OBJ
| l.. D.,k G.. rf IN
the whskered lord and master, is by no means
SO squeamish, as every man of tolerable sensl'
bilities will aver who reads this, and will take
the trouble of computing how many tlres
| from his earliest youth up to the perusal Of
this sentence, he has given way to the tender
passion.
Can any man lay his hand upon his waist.
coat and conacientiously say,"Until saw the
present Mrs. Jones, never was in love in my
lile" {" Can any man say SO? He is a poor crea-
ture if he can; and ! make no doubt he has
had at least forty frst-loves since he began
to be capable Of admiring at all. AS for the
lades--them, of course, put out Of the ques'
ton; they are fresh, no doubt; they never fall
in love until mamma tells them that Mr.. So
and-so is an amiable young man, aud in every
way eligible; they never iirt with Captain
Smith at ball and sigh as they lie at home
in bed, and thipk what charming, dashnq
fellow he is; they never hear the young curate
read his sermon so swcetly, and think how
pale and interesting he looks and how lonely
he must feel in his curacy- house, and wha
noble work it would be TO share the solitude
and socthe the paios. and listen to the delight
full doctrine, of SO excellent man they neve
think of attaching themselves to any morta
except their brother, until he brings home
young friend from college, and says, "Mary
Tom Atkinson admires you hugely, and i
heir to two thousand a-year!" They neve
begin the attack, as have heard but thei
young hearts wait like so many fortresses, II
be attacked and carried after proper perioC
of seige--by blockade, or by bribery, or BY
captulat;on, or by fiery escalade
Whilst ladies presist in maintaining thu
strictly defensive condition, men must natu
rally, as il were, take the opposite line, tha
of attack; otherwise, if both parties held alooi
there would be no more marriages and thu
two Losts would die in their respective inac