Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
Gge # at mtr
Amateur Gardening.


The following description of an amateur
gardener, by the Newark Eagle, is true to
life. If there were no labor in cultivating the
earth, we should have gardeners enough
The truth is, lazy man is good for nothing,
and it is such man that the Newark editor
describes. We always succeeded well in gar
dening, for the reason that we never had lazy
bone in us.
g Reader you are fond of gardcning-or
at least you fancy you are. Well, one ofthese
fine mornings the thought strikes you that
there is nothing like a garden; so you tuck
your trowsers in the tops of your boots, hunt
around for a superannuated Panama, don
a seedy coat Ito have it in keeping with
your employment)-an then 90 to breakfast.
You form resolution to get up remarkably
early on the following morning, and astonish
the neighborhood by your gaiety and skill in
handling the spade. You are on hand at sun
rise, according to appointment Inspired by a
glowing view of long brittle radishes, fresh
crispy peas, squashes with any quantity Of
neck, and portly dappled pumpkins, you work
at the trenches like hero. Indeed, you are
somewhat fearful that the fun of digging will
exercise-and seriously think of requesting
permission to break up the soil in the neigh
boring enclosures.
After working in frantic manner for some
Il
late yourself on the progress you have made.
This idea, you find, should have been acted
upon previously-for regaining your upright
position is difficult matter-your spine hav-
ing taken advantage of your enthusiasm, to
rebel against you. You gradually resume a
partially erect attitude, and leaving the spade
in the earth, move off like badly constructed
rural gentleman in worn out diorama.
You are rather sore for day or two. You
conclude to hire q man for the heary work.
and to receive your power for the ornamental
branches, of raking, planting and wedding
Subsequently you get along comparatively
well, but have to encounter implacable enemies
in the form Of witch-grass, wild cucumber
vines, pulsey, and several other varieties OF
ambitious nuisances-which dctracts quite ma
terially from the felicity you had promised
yourself in devoting your leisure time to man s
primeval calling. And so through the cam
paign you carry on sort of guerilla fight with
cats, dogs, weeds and doves
Quite revolution takes place in your mind
In relation to doves heretofore you have con-
sidered dove an emblem of innocence. and
all that sort of thing, but you now find that
they are COMPOUNDED theiyes-not particle
better, In point Of honesty, than those black
Nagabonds who do not make any prctcnsions
70 pety, or set themselves up as models for
hhhta'lon. The crow lives in the country.
ana says cawn and the dove lives in the CITY
ana mas soft musical coo but they are
both given to stealing, and SO what Is the diff
ferencel
Several months pass away and the buzz oC
the locust sounds from the old o,rdo,, ,,o.
tree. The weeds have finally gained ,,,o ,.;a
tory, and have employed a large and effective
band, consisting Of grasshoppers and crickets
to perform an exultng anthem over your de-
feat. On taking survey of your harvest you
find that you are proprietor of three toads, and
great abundance of tough stringy radishes
(Which you feel in duty bound TO eat, never
theless; j several bloated cucumbers few
ears Of corn, affected with disease, and large
pumpkin in an advanced stage of decompo-
sItlOn. but reader there is bright side to
this picture. We will look at it at another
time.
To MAKE HENS LAY.-Feed your hens lib
orally with meat, buckwheat and oats, If YOU
wish them to be profitable. Lime, gravel and
house ashes should also be kept constantly by
them. $50