Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-05-07
SOCIAL MANNERS IN AMERICA.

SOCIAL MANNERS IN AMERICA.
Our author lays down, as general prin-
ciple, to "avoid the appearance of FORM"
The tone of modern society is easy and un-
ceremonious. Never undertake to 60 through
with fine manners when the intention is
transparent-one should be natural, acting
always as if one could not have done other
wise. Perhaps the great secret of good
manner is to forget yourself. Conscious
people must find it hard to avoid awkward
ness. One formality is practised in this
favored land to a fearful extent The
further south you 60, the worse it is. We
mean that of introducing. Smith, of Mis-
sissippi, meets his friend Brown, of Alabama,
walking with Jones, of Tennessee. Brown
instantly cries: Mr.. Smith, Mr.. Jones, of
TENNESSEE" They advance, shake hands,
fall back, and touch their beavers "Come,
gentlemen, let's take drink! What shall
it be-" All drink Jones then sees Thom-
son approaching. sAIr Smith, Mr.. Thorn
son, of Texas'-more shaking of hands,
more touching of beavers, more drinking;
and so on through the entire thirty States.
A traveller once told her that he had under
gone fourteen introductions and fourteen
invitations to 'tliquor'' in one evening at
southern city. At the north, he gets off
with a shake of the hand-another odlous
custom. The hand should never be given,
except to friend or pretty woman.
''The true rule is never to introduce un-
less there is an express reason for making
two people acquainted. If your friends
meet in your house, the roof is sufficient
introduction; in the street, they require
none. Otherwise you take great respon-
sibility upon yourself, although, it is gen.
orally admitted, that these introductions
require no future recognition
We must add, on our own authority, that
''present' is the proper word for this kind of
cquaintance-making. Introduce, both the
work and the custom, may be laid aside
with ''genteel'-to be used only in our
gorgeous hotels, which remind us of orien-
tai magnifcence in more ways than one-for
there, as in the east, gliding and uncleanli-
ness keep each other company
The MS. is discussive on the subject of
the conjugal relation. We will quote an
extract or two:
ga bachelor is person who enjoys every
thing, and pays for nothing Nevertheless,
most men marry, at least in this country.
Being married, they sould never trouble the
enjoyment of the bachelor by fondling their
wives in his presence, or bestowing any
manner Of public tenderness upon them.
There is nothing in worse taste The by
ISLANDERS are sure to be either envious or
unhappy, for it is bitter thing, as Shak-
speare tells us, to look at happiness through
another mans eyes; or they think the SEN
timent misplaced, and are disgusted. Every
Benedict should economise the exuberance
of his affection and keep it to sweeten tete-
a-tetes. He will want it all before he gets
to the end.''
And we add our directions to the safiic-
ted,' never to talk about Mrs. - in pub
lie, nor about any other near relative. 1t
is secondary form of egotism, and equally
repulsive.
1.-The system of making parade or pro-
cesslon of a marriage, going to Philadelphia
in a white bonnet, wearing orange flowers,
and bridal lace to balls after the wedding,
is numerically quizzed by French people.
l think with great justice. It is very we'll
for John, when he marries Susan, to take
her to Jersey City and back, for pleasure
ride, as the Westerns call it, to sit with her
hand in his all the way over and back again
but gentlemen ought to know better and
stay at home a .....
"By the way, too, my countrymeu, when
you send out your wedding cards, do not