The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1853-01-21
For the Post.
PROCLAMATION.

]. Know all men by these presents, that J.,
the undersigned, on this llth Of January, in
the year Of our Lord 1853. over the signature
Of the initials of my own proper name, issue
this my first Proclamation.
q Now know all We good citizens Of Nc
MINI county, in the State Of Tennessee, and
all We slippery fingered gentlemen Of the town
Of Athens, in the county aforesaid. know We,
particularly that my Goods not being insured
against the dangers of theft. are nevertheless
insured against the dangers Of fire, and my
nancy is in Bunk.
3. Know you, ye slippery fingered gcnt"men
aforesaid, that 50 much cash had seldom been
left in my drawer over night rs you contrivcd
to extract thcrefrom last night; moreover, the
hazard was too great for the obtainment OF
such sum; for you were very nearly detected.
Should you have been, what would have been
the penalty! Think Of it! But you chopped
to obtain a larger sum-" Poor devils! you
might have known that you could not obtain
larger sum there. Nor need you hope for
the future, for shall see myself every evening
that my drawer is drained SO closely. that you
could not find enough of the ncedtm to pay
for file to sharpen that anqar which YOU
bored against an iron screw. That was rathel
tough. Iron don't bore quite so easy rs wood
would bring it to me, guess could get tilt
from my shelf which could take that gap out
4. Having last nigh: tilchcd my drawer o
the triiling sum of five or six dollars, advise
You to make good Use Of it. Go, therefore
purchase food and raimcnt for your destitute
md suffering wives and children. And whcl
YOU want more come and ask for it, and don
bore my door to pieces, as if had nothing t.
do but to patch old doors.
| g. Should you be treated so unccrcmonious
ly, what would be your coursel Would yo
inhict punishment! If So | presume yo
would not blame me for making my hOus
more secure, nor for keeping my money i
Bank.
&. And now, We slippery fingered gentlemen
be it known to you that Mr.. Deadshot lodge
iii my store every night henceforth, wit
weapons suitable for any emergency. vi
Dcadshot has one first rate rifle gun that neve
missed fire at his commar d, and one or tw
pistols which never failed. well loaded wit
slugs. Mr.. Deadshot is such marksman tha
! if he had n mind, he could hit gnat's hc'
even in the dark. Mr.. Dcadshot has ha
dozen hatchcts and tomahawks, one doze
axes and hammars, another dozen chisels m
. scrcwausurs, and large quantity of bi
knives, perfectly at his command!
7. And now, We slippery fingered genHemr'
I ndmonish you to take care for, should 20
happen to come boring at my door again, NJ
i. Dcndshot might give you such reception {
might not be very palatablc. Mr. Deadsh'
: Is very scnsitive-he can hear, when fa
. asleep a mouse walking over a marble heart
stone.
8. have reason to thank you for not int
: fcring with my Goods; for if you pilfcrcd III
of them have not missed them. | fear, to-
it was difficult to avoid the temptation, unlc
4 the fear of detection may have been sutl
: cient operative on your thicvish hearts.
t 9. Not content with the cash obtained yo
must take my pocket book also, containr
f my license and parclments. OF what use ca
they be to youl presume you can not III
, them to much advantage. / may. probnbl
not have used them myself ms | should ha,
!, DONE but should YOU make just such use
: them as have done for more than thrt
l. years you shall be perfectly welcome to tlicr
!. Should you. however, rather incline othe
wise, be so kind as to return them. Shou
G you not be wholly destitute of moral honest
c should yOul hearts thrOb with the lea
honorable fceling-l presume you will retul
r those papers which can probably be of ]
i service to you. You will drop them abo
my house in the night, which you can do wit
9 out fear Of detection, so that may get the
again.
> TO- We shall see what we shall see, N
Thief G. II.
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