Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1853-09-01
WHOLE NUMBER 1850


| AZ tah Nfet ua3 ehat We encounter skeich
so amusing as the one subjoined, asd wlere
all parties seem to enjoy the joke with so
good a relish. Let the reader Pcrusc for him
self:
sBridget" said lady in the city Of Goth.
am one morning, as she was reeonnOitcring in
her kitchen. what quantity Of soap greese
you have there. We can get plenty OF soap
for It, and We must exchange /. for some
Watch for the tat man, and when he comes a.
long lell him want to speak to him."
YES mum. said Bridget
All that moruin, Budget between each Whisk
/ Of her dish cloth keP, a brigh, look out Of the
kitchen window and no moving creature esca-
PeI Der WscA.a. gas. AZ last b industry
seemed abou. to be rewarded. for down the
stree! came a large. porllv gentleman flourish.
ing cane. and locking the very picture Of
good humor. Sure there's the tdt man now,
thought Bridget-and when he was in front Of
the house, out she few and informed him that
the mistress wish to speak to him.
"sPeak to me, my good girl p re lied the
old gentleman.
Yes, sir, wants to speak to you. and says
would you be good enough to walk in sir"
Til request, 50 direct. was not to be refused
so in a state Of some wonderment, up the steps
went the gentleman, and up the stairs went
Bridget and knocking at her mistres' door put
her head in and exclaimed,
"Fat gintleman's in the parlor, mum."-So
saying she instantly withdrew to the lower re-
g ions
"In the Forlor," thought the lady .'Wha!
can it mean Bridget must have blundered,
but down to the parlor she vent and up rose
our fat friend, with his blandest smile and
most graceful bow
"Your servant informed me, madam. that
you would ike to speak to me-at your service,
madam"
The mortified mistress saw the state Of the
case Immediately, and a smile wrcathed itself
about her mouth in spite OF herself, as she said
"Will you pardon the terrible blunder of a
raw Irish girl, my dear sir Itold her to call
in the fat man 10 take away the soap greese,
when she saw him, and she made mistake
yon sec."
The jolly fat gentleman leaned back in his
chair, and laughed such a hearty ha ha! ha
as ever comes frem any Of your gentry.
"No apolcg'es needed, madam, sail he,-
at is decidedly the best joke of the season.
IIa ha ha ! so she took me for the soap.
man, did she twill keep ME laughing for
month. Such joke p
And all up the street, and round the corner
was heard the merry ha ha ! of the old gen,
tleman, as he brought down his cane every
now and then, and exclaimed "such a joke"
SWIFT AND his SERvANT.-Dean Swift, while
on journey. and stopping at tavern desired
his servant John, (who by the way,was as &C.
centric as his master, to bring him his boots
John brought up the boots in the same state as
they were taken off the evening previous.
"Why dida't you polish my boots ~ said
the Dean.
There's no use in polishing them. replied
the man, 'for they would soon be dirty a.
gain"
Very true" said Dean, and put on his
boots.
Immediately after he went down to the land
lady, and told her on no account to give his
servant any breakfast The Dan breakiaSted
and then ordered the horses out. As he was
ready to start John ran to him in great hur-
ry and said
"Mr Dean, l didn't get my breakfast yet"
co." replied the witty divine, ''therc' 5 no
use in your breaklast;ng for would soon be
hungry again"
John finding his theory drown back upon
himself, submitted to the privation with the
same stoicsm as did his master with his boots
On lhey rode, the Dean in front reading his
prayer book, and the man behind at a respect
able distance when they were met by gentle |
man, vic. after eyeing the Dean very closely
accostedehe Servant thus
II sag, my man, you and your master seem
to be a sober pair may ask who you are and
where you are going %
eve are going TO Heaven" replied JOHN
Ny master is praying and I'm fasting"
The gentleman looked again in wonderment
at the master and man, and rode off
nz-Thn everlasting hills will c1umble to