New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1853-05-31
CORRESPONDENCE.

- VfeAE<cL OJvD EsSN CE.
JOHN BROWN, CITIZEN, TO HON. s. W. DOWN
COLLECTOR.
Sn-I no longer address you as Most Am
aels and Highly Res. Sir" The fact is, MI
Downs, you have treated me badly and am dis
gnstsd. Some days since wrote you lette
throuEh the columns of the Crescent. l CAV
yea everything you asked of an applicant
rsddsnce, character, occupation, certificate, etc
Igtoldycu Of my cosmopolitan habits, my sol
dler-like indifference to any settled residence
NJ scorn Of lsndladies SO uncivil as to dun, my
ggneral acquaintance in all places where lunch
~ = y had gratis, and my unbounded admira.
tion q you as having the power to confer Office
upca : patriot like myself
81 confident was Of your good Judgment tina
generously invited you to dine with me til,
day after You appointed me. (NB You hav,
lost : good dinner which would have provided
you upon the credit / might have commanded.
Ihis y my first, not last, act of my vengeance }
But return from my aggressive paragraph. |
was in ecstacies of delight, subdued by the
calming influence of certainty. 1 was all sun
shine and happiness My sallies of pleasantly
- Wit were 50 lively and amusing-my assu-
Hanees of absolute certainty so abundant-my
intimations of mysterious influences at head
quarters 50 strong, that was enabled to Dor.
row several quarters from my friends and even
obtained credit for delicious chop, done to a
niesty At SANS
On al this happiness you have cruelty cast a
daxk, rsyless, terrible night of hopeless despair
hsye no longer any quarters of any kind, and
scme confidence" men already make singu-
lariy pressing, if not impertinent, queries in
regard to the exact condition of my private
sxchequer. An attempt to obtain a chop on
credit is an incomprehensihle abortion. | am
only permitted the unsatisfactory privilege of
inhaling the doors of the kitchen. Even nv
long enduring washerwoman, whose labors have
never been heavy, has at last intimated the
necessity Of my making small pecunary con.
fribution towards her support, or else dispensing
with her services. have been compelled to
adopt the latter alternative.
You see, Mr. Downs, the misery YOU have
cctasioned. You have retained a Brown in
ed6os; but am the genuine Brown, the uniyer-
pAly known Brown, and the other must be a
mere counterfeit, though I would not have
wished you to nail him to the Custom House
counter.
/ NOW, MIR. Downs, answer me some questions
Who're is your residence know how patheti-
cally the Courier lamented the hard necessity
OF your leaving the sandy regions of Ouachita
ZINE woods, which it so POLITICALLY described as.
the very Garden of Eden. know nothing but
the impossibility of finding in or nearer to New
Orleans any democratic merchant competent to
the offlaa coY1ld ind
the Government to appoint you This is the
reason of your present Occupation . as for
your qualifications" you are aware of the |
existsnce Of silks, cottons, fabrics of all kinds
You have another you are a brilliant political |
tactician. You have facility for jumping out |
Of the frying pan into the fire You no sooner
make friends lovingly with Soule, than you get
into scrape with John Slidell Was not that
!" scoroher" he wrote you the other day 2"
Why, mine is indignation sugar-coated with
politsness, In comparison with the naked bitter
nsss of his pill When will you publish that
letter among the official documents - Can't
You send me copy in advance
You made another brilliant political opera
ton You had your list of appointments all
ready made out, for publication on the morning
q the election of District Attorney, and that
publication would have made the democratic |
nominees cake all dough The democratic ,
leaders saw the immense Importance to the B.,
party and. the world of efecting a democrat
District Attorney If your appointments were =
aeid back, and every one of the three thousand ,
patriotic applicants to you for office were left :,
nader the fattering confidence of success, the :
whole three thousand would go rejoicingly to !,
ne polls and record their gratitude in their :
seses. One of them, went to the polls hur. ;,
fasd for " our side p plead, implored, urged q
sioqusntly upon all to vote for the democratic =
nominee and save the country.
MT Downs, was miserably disappointed 7 =
psrspired, walked, talked, shouted burraed
on'y 70 experience the misery of ingratitude. l
nave labored for nought. The other Brown, c
ne false presentment of the genuine, was CT
.ne only Brown, whose name rejoiced his eyes
y 1ne announcement of appointments. would cl
nave sought silence and solitude, but unfortu. y
.sse'y nsd not yet found landlady sufficient g
y sovommodatlng to accommodate me with a n
s.snoer. Inc misfortune was, that had not,
h.e one OF your shrewd appointees, borrowed n m m
HiIe and four children, for the occasion. pr
Mr.. Downs, furnish me with the originals or
'opies OF the three thousand separate certificates
Of character you received will then pubIsb vi
volume Of literary curiosities, and in realiz;no -
: fortune partly forgive you the past. d
3 In the meantime beware of nv vengeance u, n
me S4o disappointed applicants will have their al
Inauguration meeting / shall be present and ;,
~ virtue OF extreme and unapproschable seedi. hi
ness ana hungry ferocity, shall be called TO O.
'ne cnar. shall stir the meeting into n fame II
q Jury. a thousand stout cudgels shall hound 9,
applause Two thousand strong throats shall St
thunder shouts of enraged approval shall Q,
tell them with terrific energy, that tbounh a ma d
may have had our "ups and downs VS. wv, IN 3,
no more have Downs. The point will he DOL ai' Il
led; the sensation immense; and the meetina :,
will 90 resolve by reclamation. We will vote s
Tou three rounds of indignant groans Won y y
viii be solemnly pronounced eioiiitey moy,,,sN p
hat is, uncivilly damned We shall adiourn
lfter thanks to the president (myself); and I
hall be treated as lion. Vengeance is mine
70 will meet at Phillippa. and will be eter.
'ally Yours, Reyengefully,
JoUN RpourN