Wisconsin tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1847-1854, 1853-04-14
-ou can't get me up stairs

said l, in a terrible rage. God knows |
knew not what | said
"Will you go, Alfred p
No l replied, but quailed beneath
her eye
".Then follow me- said she, and grasp
ed my arm firmly. raised my foot-O,
my son. hear me Il raised my foot, and
kicked her-my sainted mother How
my head reels, as the torrent of my mem
ory rushes over me | kicked my moth
era feeble woman-my mother May
God forgive me. for can never forgive my
self She staggered back a few steps
and leaned against the wall She did
not look at me- | saw her heart beat
against her breast. %. heavenly Father
she cried, forgive him, he knows not what
he does The gardener just then pass
ed the door, and, seeing my mother pale
and almost unable to stand, he stopped :;
she beckoned him in Take this boy up
stairs and lock him in his own room,
said she and turned from me Looking
back, as she was entering her room, she
gave me such look-it will forever fol-
low met was look of agony, mingled
with intensest love-it was the last, un-
utterable pang from heart that was bro
ken
SIN moment found myself a prison
er in my own room. l thought, for mo
ment, I would fling myself from the open
window, and dash my brains out, but /
felt afraid to die l was not peniteut -
At times my heart was subdued, but my
stubborn pride rose in an instant, and
l. j. IL l. g., .g
my mother haunted me | flung myself on
the bed, and fell asleep. [ awoke at mid
night, stiffened by the damp night air, aud
terrified with frightful dreams.
I would have sought my mother at that
moment, for / trembled with fear. but my
door was fast With the daylight my ter
rors were dissipated, and l became bold
in resisting all good impulses The ser
want brought my meals, but did not
taste them. | thought the day would
never end. just at twilight l heard a
light footstep approach the door 1t
was my sister, who called me by name
What may 1 tell mother from your she
asked.
Nothing, I replied
go, Alfred, for my sake, for all our
sakes, say that you are sorry-let me tell
mother that you are sorry. She longs to
forgive you
Il won't be driven to school against
my will,' said L
But you will 60, if she wishes it, dear
Alfred, said my sister plcadingiy.
No, | WON'T said [, and you needn't
say a word more about it
so, brother, you will kill her you
will kill her and then you can never
have happy moment again.
Il made no reply to this My feelings
were touched, but still resisted their
kindly influence My sister called ne, but
| would not answer. | heard her foot
steps slowly retreating, and again l flung
myself on the bed to pass another wretch
ed and fearful night. o, God, how wretch
ed how fearful [ did not know.
Another feotstep. slower and feebler
than my sisters, disturbed me. 4 voice
called me by name 1t was my mothers
Alfred. nay son, shall l come in? Are
you sorry for what you have done? q she
asked.
Il can not tell what influence, operat-
ing at that moment, made me speak ad-
verse to my feelings. The gentle voice
Of my mother, which thrilled through me,
melted the ice from my obdurate heart,
and | longed to throw myself on her neck,
but l did not No, my dear, did not.
But my words gave the lie to my heart,
when | said | was not sorry. / heard her
withdraw. | heard her groan. l Ionged
to call her back, but I lid not.
II was awakened from an uneasy slum-
Der by hearing my name called loudly,
and my sister stood beside me Get up,
Alfred. O don't wait minute Get up,
and come with me. Mother is dying p l
thought was yet dreaming, but | got up
mechanically, and followed my sister. On
the bed, pale and cold lay my mother
herself on the bed to rest; arising to go
again to me was seized with palpitation
of the heart, and borne senseless to her
room.
Il can not tell you my agony as look
ed upon her-my remorse tenfold more
bitter from the thought that she would
never know it. | believed myself to be
her murderer. l fell on the bed beside
her l could not weep Ny heart burn
/ ed in my bosom my brain was all on
/ fire My sister threw her arms around
me, and wept in silence Suddenly we
saw slight motion of my mothers
hand her eyes Enclosed. She had re
covered consciousness. but not speech
/ She looked at me, and moved her lips l
could act understand her words Moth
er, mother | shrieked, say only that you
( forgive me She could not say it with
her lips, but her hand pressed mine. She
smiled upon me, and, lifting her thin white
hands, she elasped my own within them
and cast her eyes upward. I fell en- my
knees beside her. She moved her lips in
prayer, and thus she died. / remained
still kneeling beside that dear form, till
my gentle sister removed ne. She com
forted me for she knew the heavy load
/ Of sorrow at my heart-heavier than
grief for the loss of a mother; for it was
load of sorrow for sin The Joy of youth
( had left me forever.
/ MY son, the suffering such memories
.