St. Mary's beacon., 1853-04-28
ILiltsii's Living Age.)
From Henry Ts, lor's :. Notes from Life"
On CHOICE IN MARRIAGE.

A'OW he"y 10y EoI ~" NogeS from Lille.
ON CHOICE IN MARRIAGE.
MAsAeEMEEr NJ PROMPTING MARRIAGE.
ksJf ss-nrsEk e.:s,lsse -. osss.ioa . =
.daughteI9 choice be not to prevail. I
think that. on the other hand. the pa-
rents Ii the': views. Of marriage be pure
from world.iaess, are Justified in using
a good deal Of mana-cmcnt-not more
than they very often d. use, but more
than they are wont 10 avow or than
society is wont to courtcnaace-with a
view 70 puttin; their daughters in the
way o! such marriages as thcv can
approve. Ii IS the way of the world 10
Si'r such mana cement an i'll name
probably because il is most used by those
who aousc it % worldly purposes; and !
nave heard mother pique herself on
never having taken a single step to pet
her daughters niarricd--which appeared
to ne to have been dc-eliction Of on.
OF the most essential duties of a narent
Ii III" mother be wholly passive. either
the daughters must take steps and use
ma1aGanca: forthensclves (Which is not
dcsIra5!rl, or tie happiness and the most
important interests Of their lives, moral
and Spiritual, must be the sport of chance
ana take course purely fortuitous and
IN many situations, where unsouob,
opportunities of choice do not abound
the result may be not improbably such =
love and marriage as the mother and
every one else contemplate with aston.
lShment. Some such a,tonishment
well recollect to have expressed on
al occasion Of the kind TO an ilustr;ous
poet and philosopher, whose replv 7
have always borne in mind when other
such cases have come under nv obServa- /
lion " We have no reason to be sur
prlsed' unless we know. what, NAV have
1and, she would have been in love with
Taliban."
But management, If il is TO be recon-
ncndcd, must be good management, and
cot the management by which young
adics are hurried from ballroom to
so that hundred prclibations
may give one chance to be swallowed.
A very few bathrooms will afford the
means Of Introduction and selection Of .
and the intercourse !
which, by imparting 4 real knowledge Of |
The dispositions, will give the best facili-
ties for choice, will be that which is
by one remove and another,
from gay metropolitan asscmblies-first
to intercourse in country places second
", to domcstic society. Our present
manners admit, perhaps. too much free
dom Of intercourse i'll public, too little in
private The light Familiarity of festive
meetings is carried far enough, further
than tends to attach but the graver
intimacy is wanting. Milton complained
that in his time, choice in marringe was
difficult, because there was not " that
freedom Of access, granted or presumed,
a. NAV suffice for a perfect discerning
till too late In our aye the freedom
OF access is sufficient; k1t tho access Is,
for the most part. at times and places
where nothing can be discerned but the
features OF a restless and whirling life.
And if Milton could say, "Who knows
not that the bashful muteness OF a viz
o;n may ofttimes hide all the unliveliness
axas~natural sloth which is really unfit
for conversation, We, on the other hand,
who cannot reasonably complain OF the
bashfnl muteness of the virgins, may be
in our own way Perplexcd in the attempt
To discover what is the life that lies
beneath those dancing and glancing out
sides of which we see so much.
1t may be observed, | think, that
women of high intellectual endowments
AID much dignity Of department have
the greatest difficulty in marrying, and
stand most in need of mothers help.
And this not because they are themselves
fastidious, for they are often as little so
as any, but because men are not humble