The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1853-06-22
VARIETY.
GETTING MARRIED.


During the last summer, a little incident
transpired in one of the Eastern towns which
afforded some amusement to the spectators at
the time, and furnished food for considerable
gossip thereafte. It occurredin church on one
of those quiet afternoons when all the world
seems ready to drop asleep; when the flies buzz
lazilv on the window panes. and the dog lies on
the door stone.
The afternoon service had ended, and the
congregation were arranging themselves for the
benediction, when; to the great establishment
end the manifest interest of the worshiPpers,
the good parson descended from the pulpit to
the desk below, and said in calm, clear
voice:
"Those wishing to be united in the holy
bonds Of matrimony will now please to come
forward
A deep stiffness instantly fell over the con-
gregation, broken only by the rushing OF silk,
as some pretty girl or excited matron changed
her position, TO catch the first view of the cou-
ple to be married. No one, however, arose, or
seemed in the least inclined to rise.
Whereupon the worthy clergyman, deeming
his first notice unheard or misunderstood, re-
peated the invitation:
oLet those wishing to be united in the holy
bonds of matrimony now come forward
Still no one stirred The silence became al
most audible, aud painful sense Of the awk-
wardness Of the position was gradually spreads
ing among those present, when young gentle
man who had occupied vacant seat in the
broad aisle during the service, slowly arose, and
deliberately walked to the foot of the altar
He was good looking and well dressed, but no
one present knew him, and no female accom-.
panied his travels. When he arrived within
respectable distance Of the clergyman, he paus-
ed, and with a reverent bow, stepped TO one side
Of the aisle, but neither said anything nor seem
ed at all disconnected at the idea Of being mar
RED alone. The clergyman looked anxiously
around for the bride, who he supposed was yet
to arrive, and at length remarked to the young
gentleman in an under tone:
"The lady, sir, is diatory.'
"Very, sir"
.Had we not better defer the ceremony ?"
81 think not, do you suppose she will be mere
soon?"
aMe, sirr' said the astonshed shepherd,
s.how could know Of your lady's mpve-
ments. That is a matter belonging to your.
SELF
A very few moments mere were suffered To
elapse in this unpleasant state of expectancy,
when the clergyman renewed his interroga-
tions:
"Did the lady promise 10 attend a. the present
hour, sir -
s.What lady
.'Why, the lady that you are waiting here
for"
~ did not hear her say anything about it,
was the satisfactory response.
"Then, sir, may ask why you are here, and
for what purpose you triflc in the sanctuary OF
the Most High" said the somewhat enraged
clerical.
81 came, sir, simply because you invited all
those wishing to be united in the holy bonds OF
matrimony to step forward, and happened to
entertain such wish l am very sorry to have
misunderstood you, sir, and wish you very
good day.
The benediction was uttered with a solemni-
~ of tone very little in accordance with the
twitching of the facial nerves and when, afler
the church was closed, the story got wind among
the congregation, more than one girl regretted
that her wishes had not been az boldly express
ed as the young gentlemans, who had really
wished to be united in the holy bonds Of mat
riInoney