Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1853-11-26
SHORT PATENT SERMON.
BY DOW, JR.

My text this morning is contained in
these words
Don't tell me you ''hav'nt got time"
That other things claim your attention;
There's not the least reason orr rhyme
In the widest excuse you can mention;
Don't tell me about "other fish,
Your duty is done when you buy EN-;
And you never will relish dish,
Unless you've lCOman to "fry 'em."
My hearers-I have no doubt that, after
you have heard my discourse you will ask
in your minds whether your preacher has
taken to himself wife, and is now luxu-
rating in the tall clover of connubial bliss,
that he preacheth thus. Therefore | an
swer before time, No; but have measur-
ed for one, and expect to conjugate as
soon as my somewhat diverged rays Of af-
fection can be brought to little more of
focus through the burning lens Of love.
| deem it the duty of all to get married.
once in their life time, at least. 1t is bat
yielding to the wise commands of nature.
Every gander has his goose, and the birds
all mate at proper season. Who ever
heard of an old gander going down to the
grave goslingless, unless he was prevent
ed from fulfilling his destination by the ar
bitrary customs of an artificial society T?
1t is God who tells the brute creation to
cohabit and propagate, withoutthe fuss and
hummery of long and tedious courtship,
and they implicitly obey, even TO wood
louse. The same God also tells you to
marry, and TO do the best you can to be
fruitful, but you don't always do il. You
frame some paltry excuse or other-such
as 81 have other fish to fry" "too busy
to think of it now," circumstances won't t
permit at present." and so you trudge on,
through the wide world alone, from the
meridian of manhood, to the sunset of old
age, without having effected the object,
for which you were placed upon earth,
and of no more use than the fifth wheel to
a coach, moon in the day time, lock
without key or saddle and no horse 10
ride.
Young man ifyou have arrived at the
right point of life for it, let every other
consideration give way TO that of getting
married. Don't think of doing anything
else. Keep poking about among the rub.
bish CT the world ull you have stirred up
a gem worth possessing in the shape Of a
wife. Never think of delaying the matter
for you know that delays, as well as wild
bears, are dangerous. A good wife is the
most constant and faithful companion you
can possibly have by Your side while per-
forming the journey of life-a dog isn't a
touch to her, no, couldn't hold a candle
10 her. She is of more service than you
may at first imagine. She can smooth
your linen and your cares for you-mend
your trowsers, and perhaps your manners
-sweeten your sour moments as well as
your tea and coffee for you-ruffle per-
haps your shirt bosom, but not your tenn
per; and instead of sowing the seeds OF
sorrow in your path, she will sew buttons
on your shirts, and plant happiness in
stead Of harrow teeth in your bosom.
Yes--and ifyou are too confoundedly lazy,
or too proud to do such work yourself,
she will carry swilE to the hogs, chop
wood, and dig potatoes for dinner; for
her love for her husband is such that she
will DO anything to please him-excep
receive company in her every day dress.
When woman loves, il is double dis.
titled devotedness and when she hates
she hates on the high pressure principle
Her love is as deep as the ocean, as strong
as at hempen halter, and as immutable a,
the rock Of ages. She won't change it
except in strong fit of jealousy anC
even then 1t fingers, as if 10th to part
like evening twilight at the windows O
the west. Get married, by all means
All the excuses YOU fish up against .doin!
the deed" are not worth a spoonful O
pigeons milk. Mark this-if, blest will
health and employment, YOU are not abl
TO support wife, depend upon il Won ar
not able 70 support yourself, therefore, $,