The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1853-07-27
A SKETCH.
BY FANNY FERN.

Look here Mr.. EDITOR, want somebody to
hold me I've Just been reading an extract
from Blackwood, by German professor by the
name of STAIR, in which, after commencing
most severely upon the character of Louis Ma
poLEoN, he compasses the pith Of the matter
into this nutshell "But no reliance can be
placed on him. In word his character is that
of woman ~ What do you mean by that,
you old German curmudgeon ! Amt women
the quietest, patient, lovingest animal in exis-
tence, when they get all they want : Did you
ever see women snarl when her purse was
properly supplied and she had gowns enough in
her wardrobe ? Their tempers are angelic if
they re only managed right. lfyou will brush
a cats back the wrong way you must expect
to get scratched. Women always know what
they want, and that's more than half the men
do, and they want it when they ask for il, too,
without any hem's, or ifs, or butts.
Amt they full Of fun, and smiles, and capers
before they are married and what do they look
like afterward, with their long faces, swollen
eyes, and calico morning gowns crawling
around the house like dyspeptic caterpilars =
When they've been worshipped like divinity
for six months or more, you expect them to
hop right off their pedstal after matrimony, and
crouch.down atyour feet like whipped spaniel
who dare not even growl to himself when his
ears are cuffed. "Character that of woman !"
humpk As to Louis NAPOLEON, he isn't a
man to my taste, nor you either |! Did you
ever see man that had the fortitude of a wo-
man ? Ask the Doctors about that, if you catch
ore that tells the truth.
lfa man gets scratch on his little finger,
the whole house is put in requisiton for stick
ing plaster, opedeldoc, Russian salve, and mer-
cy knows what. Then there amt savager an
imal in existence than man when he hungry.
Go ask favor of him some time just before
dinner, but don't wait for an answer; and if the
razor don't work right when he is shaving in
the morning, catch up the children and clear
the coast. And as to pin money, although all
the man can earn would mt pay wife's wages
yet it you haven't an affectionate pa, or big
hearted brother, or accommodating brother in
law, heaven help you
Did you ever know a man whose wife was
sent to state-piison who ever made her a call
at that interesting institution? And did you
ever know a woman, if she ID had dozen sticks
spoiled over her head, who did'rt bride jailors
stone walls until she got to him, some how Of
other, to tell him how she loved him all the
better, the wickeder he grew. the more peo-
pie hated him and how, if he had abused
her she dare say it was more her fault thar
his'n.
And what did Kossurn's wife do for him, yor
stupid old fool and what did the American wo
men Of the Revolution do for their husbands
and what will their female descendants do fol
you you beer drinking, phlegmatic. tobacco
dried old German, if you dare show your phi,
mahogany on this side of the big pond May
you never know BY experience what thi!
means
aThere'll be coat on the chair,
There'll be slippers for somebody,
1here'll be a wife's tender care
Loves fond endearment for somebody.
Therell be the little ones charms,
Soon twill be awakened for somebody
When have both in my arms,
Oh how blest will be somebody