davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22
AHEAD OF THF RAZOR-STROP MAN.

Thousands Of persons have attempted to
interfere with and annoy the celebrated Ra-
zor-Slrop man, Henry Smith, while holding
forth with his s,en,orian lungs TO an admi-
ing crowd on the incompatible merits of
his wonderful s.rops; bu. we never heard
of bu, one man who in the attempt came
off first best"
The inciden. happened as folIows:-
Smith had sold out his basket OF strops 10
a "highly intellIgen, audience" as he term
ed them, and then, as he made it out q clear
case ,hst every man owning stop should
have good razor, tha, the strop might be
used with proper respect, he took out
dozen OF Rogers 5, Sons best, and exclaim-
led
Gentlemen! now let me sell you at suc-
used, ever were made 10 be used, or ever
acW be used And how much am offer
ed for one -
"You can't (hic) never sell nothing if
you talk al lha. slow (hic) rate" exclaimed
bald pa,ed, ragged habiled disciple Of Bac-
chus eff you (hic) wan. to make 'em b'lieve
the (hic) rszor'Il cut quick, you ought
to sell 'em quick! That's so, my hibbi'ty
tip-,oe, and l'm the man that can sell 'em
for ye, if (hic) ye only say the word"
Seeing The man was intoxicated, Smith
tried hard to proceed with the sale, without
appearing to notice the interruption ; but
twas impossible. The fellow made some
Witty relor.' that would ''bring down the
hause," 10 every remark tina, Smith offered,
and as human endurance could stand ii no
longer, Smith suddenly turned 10 his annoy
er and exclaimed
"Here my good friend! You're so drunk
that you don'I know your wife's uncle from
your grandmo,her's aunt, and still you arc
talking 10 me about selling raZors that are
worth dollar a piece! Why, sir, wish
for people to shave themselves, instead of
doing as you have done-le. the rumselIers
shave you. And here you are interrup'lng
me and pretending you understand my bu-
siness better than do myself You had
better sign the pledge, old codger. You
are too drunk now to either buy or sell.
"Try me, Razor (hic) Ssrop Man! Try
me - was the cool rejoinder.
every we.l,'' says Smith "here's an ex-
cellcnt razor, and as you are anxious TO ex-
hibi, your skill in getting quick bids, you
shall have fair chance.
The topper mounted the dry goods box,
swung the razor around his head few times
and commenced.-
"Gen-erlmen! here's pro pub lica- bone
razor an 'ow much am offered for'l Six
cen,s-going going twice! and going
gone to me for six cents.'
Putting the razor in one pocket, and TAX
ing from the other six coPpers, and prof
feilng them to Smith as pay, the old covy
jumped from the box, amid the crowd of
convulsed spectators.
Smith laugh as heartily as the rest, re-
fused the coppers, give the man cake of
soap and slrop, and ackowledg ged it the
cheapest joke he ever purchased in his
life
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22
NEWSPAPER CREDIT SYSTEM.

The following remarks in relation to the
Newspaper Credit System, which we clip
from ono of our exchanges, exposes the
loss which newspaper publishers are sub
iect to, who send out their papers on credit,
and will give our readers some idea Of our
troubles. Read it:
With publishers of newspapers, in COM
mon with business men generally, the cash
system is preferable TO any other; 10 pub
fishers who rely upon their subscription list
for their support, for the prosecution OF
their business, they must necessarily be the
loser. There are thousands of well-mean-
ing men who subscribe for them, bu. the
idea Of writing letter to an editor enclosing
two, three or five dollars. never enlers their
heads, .houg gh if called upon for the amount
due, W would probably be prepared to meet the
demand. Blu, the publisher Of almost every
county newspaper knows i. would be out
of the question TO employ collector out
of the profits Of his subscr ption SO many
of his patrons continue year after year
taking the paper without advancing one
cent, while he is paying cash for ms pr1nt-
ing materials, paper and labor, and
every thing else necessary to carry on bu-
siness. Here, then, is loss mott attributed
to any design on the part of the subscribers
10 defraud, but The fruit Of a worse than
worthless system. They would pay If
waited upon, but the printer cannot afford
to spend five dollars for collecting three,
and never gets his pay.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22
QUEEN ELEANOR CHRISTINA.

Many-very many instances are on re-
cord Of noble woman performing useful SER
vices for themselves and others, Without ex-
citing the SCOTS and derision of the world.
Among these may be cited the story of
Queen Eleanor Christina. She was the
daughter Of Christian w., of Denmark, and
was, in the seventh year OF her age, be-
lrolhed to Corflz Ulfeld, Danish noble
man; but Saxon prince having claimed her
marriage, when she attained her twelfth
year, the alliance was considered more
suitable to her dignity, and attempts were
made to induce her TO accept the offer But
as her marriage promise had been given,
though not by herself, yet. by Others on
her behalf, deemed il too sacred an engage
ment 10 be broken. She thus continued
true to her VOID, and married him at the
age Of fifteen.
On the deah of the king, the overbearing
spri, of Ulfeld began to manifest itself; and
his enemies, either secretly or openly, a.
vsling themselves Of his weakness, contriv-
ed to effect his destruction. One msfor-
tune succeeded to another; he was eXIled,
recalled and mpris oned, and then again ban
ished. Thus be was pursued from one
place TO another, until he died in the greatest
misery Eleanor, though The daughter Of
ia king, and brought up in the greatest luxu-
Iry, determined TO share misfortune with
her husband She followed him everywhere
in exile and in prison, and endured every
sacrifice and pfiva'ion in order to solace
him. Happening once TO be in great
danger when travelling in disguise, she al
tired herself in male habit, that she mi ght
guard him and procure him every accom-
mediation.
-.;n,n LIlf-lI daring l.ia r.s;-
dence in Sweden, became suspected Of car
rying on secret correspondence in conse-
quenc Of which, the king appointed conf
mission to investigate The business. His
wife appeared before the commissioners, ex-
cused her husbands absence on accoun! Of
illness, and pleaded his cause with such en-
ergy and zeal, that the commissioners
brought in a verdict Of acqui'ts which was
approved of by the king. Eleanor suffered
severely for her conjugal sflt ction, even af-
ter the death OF her husband, by being i'm
prisoned for the dreadful period of forty
three years. She was liberated by Chris
lian the Fifth, who presented her with Mar
iboe Castle as fief, and granted her pen
sion Of 1900 rix dollars per annum.-La-
dies keepsake.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

EFFRCT OF THE AIR ON THE CIRCULATION
OF THE BLOOD, &c.-ln "Milne's Practical
View Of the Steam Engine" there is a de.
tailed account Of some experiments made
with the purpose Of ascertaining the effecI
of the withdrawal OF large portion of the
usual density of the atmosphere on the hu-
man system. We give the following sb-
stract as bearing on a question recently
discussed in the National ln.elIigencer:
young man was shu. up in strong
wooden box, covered with sheet lead, from
which the air was Withdrawn by air-pumps
The rarity Of the air was carried to the ex-
tent that mercury within the box rose to
seven and half inches above the surface ol
the outside mercury with which it was con-
nected.
The pulse of the subject before exhaust
ing the air was sevensy-nine beats per min
ue. 1t fell IN an hour 10 sixty-fve beats
The experiment was continued for two
hours, during which time air was admitted
through pin-hole bu, the exhaustion was
kept up by continuing the use Of the air
pumps.
In another experiment the exhausting ol
the cir was kept SO grea. that the mercury
stood inside sixteen and a half inches above
the outside mercury. The subjec. expert
enced no difficulty in breathing, but became
cold, with pulse reduced from n 10 63
beats per minute.
We cite these facts, with our authority
for them, as interesting to those who ore
discussing the question Of the effect Of the
air on the circulation of the blood.
How will our scientific friend E. accoun
for the fact lhs. the pulse of this subjec
fell, when the pulse Of those who asceDt
in.o rarited air on high mountains is mate
rally qulckened, no, from the labor Of as
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

but as he came towards me again with the
same panlber-ike caution as before. seized
a stone patcher standing in the window seat,
and hurting i, a, him with fortunate force
and aim, he fell stunned and bleeding on the
floor. The door was burst open at the next
moment, and calling for assistance, we tied
the wild Mssourian in his bed, bound up
his head and side, and committed him to
fresh watchers.
We have killed bears together at Mis-
souri, Sal, Lick stree then; bu, never see
Wash Greylng with a smile on his face,
without disposition 10 look round for the
door.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22
MISC ELL A n EOUS,
THE MAD SENIOR.
BY N. P. WILLIS.

BY N. P. WILLIS.
was called upon in my senior years ia
watch with an insane student. He was a
man who had attracted grea, deal of aten-
-tinD. in college, He appeared in an ex-
traordinary costume al the beginning OF our
Freshman term, and wrote himself down as
Washington Greyling, Of, an unhesrd
Of settlement somewhere beyond the Mis-
sissippi. His coat and other gear might
have been the work OF Chckasaw tailor,
aided by the experimenting taste of come
white hunlsman, who remembered family
the outline of habiliments he had not seen
for half century; i. was body of green
cloth eked ou. with ampum and otter-sk in,
and i, would have been ridiculous, if il had
not encased one of the finest models OF
manly form that ever trod the Garth
With close curling black hair, fine wealth
er-browned complexion, Spanish features,
(fom his mother, a frequen, physiognomy
in the countries bordering Spanish Ame-
rica, and the por! and motion Of lion, he
was figure TO look upon in any disguise
with warm admiralion-was soon put into
the hands of tailor proper, and, with the
facility which belongs TO his counlrymen,
became in month the best dressed man in
college. His manners were Of gentleman
like mildness, energetic, but courteous and
chivalrous, and unlike most savsges, and
all coins-he polished wilhou. "losing his
mark" At the end of his first term, he
would have been called hight bred gentle
man a. any court in Europe.
The opening Of his mind was almos. as
rapid and extraordinary. He seized every
thing with an ardor and freshness that hab-
j. and difficulty never deadened. He was
like a man who had lumbled into a new
star, and was collecting knowledge for a
world 10 which he was to return. The
first in all games, the widest in adventures
the most distinguished even in the elegant
society for which the town is remarkable
and failingly brllisn. in his recitation and
college performances, he was looked upon
as sort Of admirable phenomenon, and
neither envied or opposed in anything.
have often thought, in looking on him,
,ha. his sensation as coming from a wild
western prairie, and at the first measure of
his capacities with men of better advantages,
finding himself uniformly superior, must
nave Deeh sllIrlhgly dellghtiul 1t Is a
wonder he never became arrogan, but i, is
the last foible of which he could have been
accused.
We were reading hard for the honors in
senior year, when Gteyling suddenly los
his reason. He had no, been otherwise i'll
and had apparently in the mfds. Of higl
health, gone mad al a moments warning
The physicians scarce knew how 10 nea
him. The confinement, however, was
thought expedien,, and he seemed to JUST.
fy their lenisy by the gentlest behaviour
when at liberty. He seemed oppressed BY
q heart-breaking melancholy. We tool
our turns in guarding and watching will
him, end it was upon my first night Of dot,
that The inciden. happened that have thu
attempted to introduce.
was scarce like vigal with a sick man
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

THE AGES OF AN1MALs.-The Enc ish
Cycloedia gives the following modes of de-
termining the age Of animals:-"Amongs,
domestic animals the age may be judged Of
BY the presence, absence, or change Of GER
tain organs in the body. The age of the
horse is known principally by the appear
ance of the incision teeth, or, as they are
tecnically called, the nippcrs. In cattle with
horns, the age is indicated more readily by
the growth Of these instruments than by the
detrition and succession Of the teeth. The
deer kind, which shed their horns annually
and in which, with the single exception of
sex, have them at first in the form Of simple
prickets without any branches or anllers; but
each succeeding year of their lives adds one
or more branches, according to the species,
up to certain fixed period, beyond which
the age Of the animal can only be guessed
at from the size of the horns and the thick
ness of the burr or knob a, their roots,
which connects them with the skull. The
horns Of oxen, sheep, goats, and antelopes,
which are hollow and permanent, are Of a
very different form, and grow in different
manner from those of the deer kind. These,
as is we'll known, consist of hollow sheath
of horn, which covers bony core or pro-
cess of the skull, and grows from the root,
where it receives each year an additional
knob or ring, the number Of which is sure
indication of the animals age. The growth
of the horns in these animals is by no means
uniform through the whole year; but the
increase, at leas! in temperate climates, takes
place in Spring, after which there is no fur
lher addition till the following season. In
the cow kind the horns appear TO grow uni
formly during the frs, three years Of the
animals life; consequently, up to that age
they ara perfectly smooth and without
wrinkles, but afterwards, each succeeding
year adds ring to the root Of the horn, so
iha, the age is determined by allowing three
years for the point or smooth part of the
horn, and one for each Of the rings. In
sheep and goats the smooth or top part
counts but for one year, as the horns OF
these animals show their first knob or ring
in the second year Of their age; in the an
.elopes they probably follow the same rule,
though we have very little knowledge OF
their growth and development, in these ami
mails. There are very few instances in
which the age Of animals belonging to
other classes, can be determined by any
general rules. In birds it may be sometimes
done by observing the form and wear OF
the bill and some pretend to distinguish
the age of fishes by the appearance of their
scales, but their methods are founded on
mere hypothesis, aud entitled to no conf
dence."
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22
PoETR Y.
THE MAN | LOVE.

BY QUALLoN.
love an open countenance,
A kind and noble face ;
The index of an honest heart,
That loves the human race!
A brow on which smile is thron'd,
Like sunlight on hower,-
As open as the regal skies,
With beams Of love and power!
| love the kind and welcome glance,
That proves we re not alone!
And oh, how sweet to find at times
Some feelings like our own!
A heart that beats with purest hopes,
To pity and to bless!
That strives to make earth S comfort more
Its pains and follies less!
/ love the man whose generous smlle
Is given with his hand
Who sees his equal in all men,
And all men equal stand!
Who sees not the distinctions made
By human laws between
The man who has and who has not,
But loves from what he's seen!
love the man whose heart is true,
Who seldom wears a froWn;
And loves all men, from him who tolls
To him who wears crown!
With mildness ever on his lips,
A free and open mind,-
A brow with mental grandeur spann'd,
soul supremely kind!
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

cent surely, for it is equally quickened also
where by theory the cir is rarifed? 1t Ca n
no. be from fear, as both the timid and the
bold become equally feverish.
Again. A stream of air let in gave the
subjec. Of Mines experiments feeling Of
warmth. How is this? The air rushing
in expands, and expansion is ordinarily al
tended with Iessened temperature; and it
is shown by other experiments that the
mercury Of thermometer rises in the ex-
haus,ed receiver when air is let in in jet
through small orifice.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

PLEASURES OF CoNTENTMENT.-l have
rich neighbour that is always SO busy
,ha. he has no leisure TO laugh; the whole
business Of his life is to get money. more
money. that he may still get more money.
lie is still drudging on, saying what Solo
mon says, ::The diligent hand makelh rich"
And it is true, indeed; but he considers
no. tia. it is not in the power Of riches to
make man happy: for i! was wisely said
by man Of great observation, "'hat there
be as many miseres bey ond riches as on
this side Of them" And yet heaven deliv-
er us from pinching poverty, and grant tina,
having competency, we may be content
and thankful. LIE, US not repine, or so
much as think the gifts Of God unequally
GeslI, if we see another abound with riches,
when, as God knows, the cares that are the
keys that keep those riches hang often SO
heavily a, the rich mans girdle, that they
clog him with weary days und restless
nights, even when others sleep quietly
We see but the outside of the rich mans
happiness few consider him to be like the
silk worm, that, when she seems TO play,
is at the same time spinning her own bow
els and consuming herself And This many
rich men do, loading themselves with cor
rodng cares to keep what they have alrea-
DIV got. Let US, therefore, be thankful for
health and competence, and, above all, for
quiet concience-Izaak Waton
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22
ACHARGE AsIsA CaARGE.-Judge J

ACHARGE as IS A CaARGE.-Judge Jo-
nah Joles, western judicial gni'ary re-
Gently delivered the following charge to the
Jury; in The case Of one Elm Crunch on
trial for stealing: "Jury you kin 60 out,
and don't show your ugly mugs here till
you find verdict. If you can't find one
of your own gi. the one the last jury used"
The jury retired, and after an absence of
fifteen minutes returned with verdict Of
"suicide, in the ninth degree and fourth
verse;" Then Judge Jonah Joles pronouu-
ced upon Crunch this sentence "Elim
Crunch, stand up and face the music, you
are found guilty Of suicide for stealing
Now this court sentence you to pay a
fine of two shilIngs, to shave your head
with biggane, in the barracks, and if you
try to cave in the heads of any Of the jury
you'll catch thunder that's all. Your fate
will be a warning to others and in conclu-
sion, may the Lord have mercy on your
soul Sheriff get me pin. Of red eye!-
! Pm awful thirsty. Amen"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY,
BY e. WELLS, JR.
DIToR AND PRIET o r {.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
For one year, if paid within six months, $l5O
&C 6 ifnot paid within six months, 200
ADvERTIsEMENTs.-Sl per square for two inser-
tlons-l2 lines of small type or ID of large type
constituting square-and 25 cents for every sub
sequent insertion. If the number of insertions be
not marked on the advertisement it will be pub
lished until forbid, and charged accordingly. A
liberal deduction will be made to those who ad-
vertise by the year.
Communications addressed to this Office must be
POST PAID.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

A little fellow, weeping most Pi'eously,
was suddenly interrupted by some amusing
occurrence. He hushed his cries for mo-
ment there was struggle between smiles
snd tears; the train of though! was broken
MA" sad he, resumlng his snu1fle end
wishing 10 have his cry ou', "Ma-ugh
ugh ugh aehat aoas crying about J"S1
nov2"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

The preacher who ''warms up'' his hear
ers with swords ,ha. burn," has been con-
suited with by the deacons, upon the pro-
prie.y Of having no FIRE i'll the church the
coming winter.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

Somebody asks, sis it lawful to hang
clothes on Masons s. Dixon's line -
Just as lawful as planting beans around
the North Pole.
And JUS, as proper, too, as for temper
ance man 10 "double the Horn"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

REroRT-"If were SO unlucky," said
an officer, "as to have stupid son, ] would
certainly, by all means, make him parson."
A clergyman, who was in The company
calmly replied, "You think differently, sir:
from your father"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

The question for debating societies now
is, s'Does i. follow that man raised on
ginger, mus, be gingerbread
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

"My son." said an old lady, chow must
Jonah have felt when the whale swallowed
him?" "Down in the mouth" was the young
hopefull's reply
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

The only rational liberty is that which
is born of subjec.ion, reared in the fear oi
God and love of man and made courageous
in the defence of trus! and the Prosecu-
lion of duly.- Simnas.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

The young lady who was accused Of
breaking young mans heart has been
bound in the bonds of matrimony 10 keep
the peace.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

Somebody says the Mississippi has rais-
ed one foot. When i. raises The other, it
will probably run. .
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

Turnips Of small size have double the nu-
iri.ious matter that large ones have.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-22

God may have made all men free and Q.
qual, but know not that he has ever pro-
missed TO keep them so.-Simms.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1853-06-01
GALE OF VALUABLE REAL ESTATE

GALE OF VALUABLE REAL ESTATE
~ By virtue of an order to me directed by the
Probate Court within and for the County of Mon
roe, and State Of Ohio, /. as Guardian of Milton
Patton, Philip Patton, Sarah Patton. and John
Patton, minor children of Mahlon Patton, deceas-
ed, will sell at public sale, on
Friday, tie l7h day Of June, 1853,
at the door OF the court house in the town of
Woodsfreld, in said county, the interest of said
wards in the following described real estate, stu
ate in the county of Monroe and State of Ohio, to
wit: Part of the south east quarter of section 6, in
township 6, and range 6, in the Marietta land dis
trict, being SO much of said quarter as lies on the
north 81 !e of Il run running through said quarter
being from the center OF said un-containing
about "a acres; the interest of ssid wards in said
premises being the undivided three fourths thereof.
TERMS OF SALE One-halfi in hai.d. the half
of the balance in two years. and the remainder in
three years. The deferred payments to be secur:
ed to the satisfaction of the undersigned and IL
bear interest at 8 per cent from the day of sale.
Sale to commence at 12o'clock NJ. on said day.
HENRY FORD. Guardian.
Nav, IL, 1853.