The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1853-08-30
Are Judges ever Funny.

Are Judges ever Funny
The question is often raised, 'are Judges ev-
er funnyF II occurs to us that they are slight
| ly given to fun sometimes. We cite the fol-
lowing instances
| A few years ago there lived in the county
| of Middlesex Mass, rather an eccentric gen
! tlemen who occupied the Judges seat. Upon
one occasion, there were two men arraigned
before Judge s., charged with Disturbing the
peace.
Number one, upon tho usual question OF
guilty or not guilty. plead guilty to drunken
ness.
You were drunk, were you, sirr said Judge
is.
Yes, sir replied the prisoner.
What did you got you get drunk on, sir?'
Whiskey, sirr
What sort of whiskcy sirP
New whiskey, SIR
'Yes, sir, just warm from the STILL
so you got drunk on now whiskey, right
warm from the STILL did you:
'Yes, sir
'Mr. Clerk, fine that man ten dollars, and
Imprisonment in the county, jail for a period OF
one month";
Number two being arraigncd, plead guilty
also.
You were drunk, were you. sirr asked tho
Judge.
yes, sir
What did you get drunk on, sr:'
Brandy sir
what sort of brandy?
Peach brandy, SIR
what old peach brandyP
yes, sir.
How did you drink it?
With little honey, sir
What sort of honey, sirP
Nice strained honey, sir
so you got drunk on Old peach brandy and
nice strained honey did you9
Yes, sir
'Mr. Clerk, fine that man one dime; the
Court would like little of that ITSELF
| This same Judge s., had very wild son,
Bob, who was constantly on spree, and upon
being brought up one day for drunkenness, the
Judge cried out:
| SIS that our Bob:'
'Yes sir replied the Clerk.
'Fine the rascal two dollors and costl' roarcd
the Judge; I'd made it ten dollars If / didn't
know it would come out of my own pocket!
A MAN OF LEIsURE.-"You'll please not to
forget to ask the place for mo, sir" said pale
blue eyed boy, as he bIushed tho coat of the
Man of Leisure, at his lodgings.
"Certainly not, said Mr.. Inklin, 81 shall bo
"Did you ask the place for me yesterday?
said the pale boy on the following day with a
quivering lip, as he performed the same Office.
"No," was tho answer, 81 was busy; | will to-
day.
"Heaven help my poor mather," murmurod
the boy, and gazed listlessly on the cent Mrr
Inklin laid in his hand.
The boy went homo. lie ran to toe hungry
children with the loaf of bread nc had earned
| by brushing the gentleman's coat at the hotel.
They shouted with joy, and his mother held
out her emaciated hand for portion, while a
smile fitted across her face.
"Mother, DEAR" said the boy "Mr. Inklin
| thinks he can get me place, and / shall have
three meals day-only think, mother, three
meals-and it won't take three minutes to run
home and share it with you.
Toe morning came, and the pale boys voice
| trembled with eagerness es he asked Mr. Ink
| lin if he had applied for the place.
"Not yet" said the Man of Leisure, "but
| there is time enough
The cent that morning was met with tears.
Another morning arrived.
at is very thoughtless in the boy TO be so
late,'' said Mr.. Inkln, "not soul hero to brush
my coat:'
The child came at length, his face swollen
with weeping.
Il am sorry I'D uiSappohl you, sdsu VIC Au al
of Leisure, "but the the place in Mr.. C-s
store was taken up yesterday"
The boy stopped brushing, and burst into
tears. 81 don't care, now" said the sobbing
boy, 'we may as well starve; mother is deaG. .
The Man of Leisure was shocked and he gavo
the pale boy dollar!
| A LIGHT BEARD.-"Can't you take off my
barred hereT said TALL grave, sloosided Yam
kee to an Albany barber; feeling at the same
] time his chin with q noise Ike q prater. HIts