The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1853-05-31
JIM BLANDER AND THE QUAKER.

AN AMUSING STORY.
There lived in certain neighborhood, not
far distant from here, registering rnwdy,
named Jimmy Blandcr. Jim was "sum' in a
fight--a kind of pueuilist Napoleon.
MJny and bloody we're the atfrays he had in
his lifetime, and he invariably came off first
best. Jim not only considered himself invul-
nerable, but all the ahting characters in the
surrounding couptry, considered it was M use
fighting Jim, as he was considered to be pat
ent threshiDg machine, that 'uld not be i'm
proved on. In Jms neighborhood are settled
quite number OF Qankers. From some cause
or other, Jim hated the 'shad bellies" as he
called them, with his entire heart; h often
declared that 10 whip one of these inoffensive
people would be the crowning glory Of is life.
For years Jim wtited rrctcxt. One of Jim's
chums overheard a young Quaker speak in
di-paraeiug terms of him. The report soon
came to Jims ears not little magnifed. Jim
made desperate threats what he was going ia
DO with Nathan, the meek follower of Penn
on sight besides the various brCizes aud con
tusions he meant to intlict on Nathan's body;
in his chaste language he meant to gouce out
both of his eyes, and chaw off both his ears.
Nathan heard of Jim's threats and very prop
erly KEEP, gu, of his way, hoping that timc
would modify lis anger. 1t seems, however
that this much desired result did not take place.
One day Nathan was out riding, and passing
through long lane when about midway, he
esped Jim entering the other end. Nathan
might have turned and fled, but his iiesh re-
belled ut rctrcatng.
Il will persue MY wav pcacoably,' snd tho
Quaker, 'audI hope the better sense of the
man Of wrath, will not permit him to modest
me, or allow him to do violence to nv person.
Naihan's calculations as the lamb-like quail
itics of hi adversary, were doomed to be dis
appointed:
Nathan. Il have him at last. Nrw. I'll make
mincemeat of shadbelly! Twill salt end pi, k
lc him, tocp
wilt thou please to dismount from thy
horse, said jim, seizing the bride of Nathan:
horse. and mincing his style; my heart yearn
eth above all things TO give tho the bggcs
maulnig t a ever II man received
Friend James, replied Nethan, thou mus
not molest me, but let mo 20 my way in peac,
Thy better Judgment will surely tell the tha
thou cannot possibly be benefited by person
ally injuring me-
Get down, in momcntr thundrrcd Jim
'get down, you canting, lying. mischief maxim.
hypocrite. I'll drag youdown ifyol don't dis
mount
Friend james rcmonstrate against thy pro
ceediug and language replied Nathan. Ny
religion teaches ire sincerely. ] am heather
liar, a mischief maker, or IA hypocritc; | am M
coward, but man of peace, / desire to persu
my way quietly; let mo pass.
Get down. persisted jim: down with you
/ must give you flogging before l leave you
/ think by tho timc | am through with you, yol
will pass for tolerab honest man. / will
teach you in short, easy lesson the impor
| A. A.
slanderng your neighbors.
Il will not dismount' said Nathan, Zoos
your hold from the bride.
you won't, won't you:' said Jim, "thcn her
goes"-makug a desperate lungo TO collar tn
Quaker.
Nathan was on his feet in an instant on th
opposite side of the horse.
The Quaker although OF much smaller pro
portions than his prosecutor, was sinew am
musse, and his well knit form denoted bot
activity and strength His wrath was eviden,
ly enkindled.
Friend James," he implored thy pcrina
cious persistence in pcrsocnting is exeedingl
annoying; thou must desist or peradventure
may so far forget myself as to do the sam
bodily HARM
BY snakes!' said Jim, coming towards Ma
than, 81 believe there is fight enough in Broad
| I'M w tbdht ~ iHttfcctiUB. "ion sOtuo y
the boys were here to see the fun Now con
tinued Jim, friend Nathan, am going {
knock off the eEd of your nose-look out!
Suiting the action 10 the word, Jim. afte
various puglistic gyrations with his fists. mad
a scientific blow at the Nasal formation of on
friend, but Tom IIyer could not seientifcall
have warded il off Jim was evidently discor
certed at tho i'll success of his first a,tempt--h
saw he had taken quite as much as he was like
ly to accomplish-Jamcs, however. straighten
cd himself out. and approached Nathan NOR
cautiously. The contest began again. Ma
than stood his ground firmly. and skillfulI
warded off the shower of blows which Jane
aimed at him. ~ uf
Friend James, ssid Nathan. in the heat {
tho contest, this is mere childs play.
grioves me that thou hast forced mo into re
sisiance. but must defe:,d myself from bodil
harm. see there is but one wav of bringin
: this scandalous and wicked affair to clos
and that is by my conquering thee; in order I
do this, will infIict heavy blow between tn
, ewes. which wilt PROSTATE thee rf
; Following out this suggestion, Nathan strnc
him tremenduons blow in his forehead, whic
brought him senseless tn the ground. - -s.
Now. said Nathan. will! teach thee lei
; son, and / hope II will be a wholesome lessor
too. wilt seat mysclfa straddle on thy breoi
Il will place my knees on thy arms, thus 6
that thou cannot injure me when thou return
est to conciousness. hope ] may be th