New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1853-06-02
HE BaTTLE OF THE LNRS T.a.NDs


TIE BATTLE OF THE INKS TaNDS
When the theatres close, when concertists 20
with the birds, to MARBLE and make sweet musi
at the North, when the very comicalities of Dai
Rice have abandoned us, it is time for othe
amusements, and g the summer fights " are no,
In order.
Our Aldermen have lin the Board of Assis
tants) led off bravely, and in style at once
emusing and instructive; scene, Council Cham
Der; time, Tuesday evening weapons ink
stands. 1t was duel with rather unpleasantly
heavy inkstands, without surgeons or seconds,
but with number of highly gratifed and in
tsrsstsd spectators in attendance. The provo
cation was remark that one of the Honorable
members was somewhat more than two thousand
miles away from the truth, whereupon weapons
lin the shape Of inkstands) were promptly re-
sorted to--distance about four feet The Junior
member threw first at his venerable opponent.
The old Nestor was too ''wide awake for his
Trojan enemy, and, quick as lightning, gave an
artfal dodge, and allowed the Alderman behind
him to receive the full amount of the favor in
tended for himself OF course, the recipient
felt instands and looked inky dark, As Yellow
plush says, imagine his phelinxs." But the
old Nestor was not quicker in lodging than in
repulsive assault, and whizzing flew his ink
stand at his more youthful opponent; but it
dew by harmlessly, striking against the lobby
railing, and making many in an en-mouthed,
open-eyed crowd, better acquainted with the
nature, if not the uses, of ink than they ever
had been before.
Then uprose the clamor of war uprose the
Aldermen and uprose the President and up
stood and outcried the spectators in an ecstasy
of delight The tableaux was imposing. The
magical suddenness of its getting up made it all
the more calculated to carry one away with as
constituent and admiration. All bent forward,
anxious to watch the result of this novel and
Interesting combat The President forgot to
practice the graces of the most artistic dignity,
and actually gave out an idea in no more words
than were necessary to express it. ssorder,"
called out Alderman Wheelehan and, quick to
the prompter's call, "order,' sang out the Pres
ident, Rap, rap, rap upon his desk, and to
the serious abrasion of the same, went the
knuckles of the worthy Alderman and quick
followed the knock of the Presidents gavel upon
hisdesk. When they called ORDER" the lovers
of sport in the lobby, determined to see the fun
out" halloed, go it, boys" &c fire again., at
him old fellow" twenty to ten on the young |
one" When they raped, the crowd stamped |
In fact, 1T was lively, well-grouped, uproarous
scene. In the midst of all, calm as a sum-
mer's morning" and digniied as Roman Sena-
tors in the presence of the Cloths, leaning back |
quietly in their cushioned chairs, sat impartial
and observant members of the press. We must.
however, frankly confess that they were out of |
the direct line of fire, and may, therefore, have
felt in comparative safety.
But to return the discharge of an inkstand
apiece, exhausted all the artillery the combat.
ants had at hand. The voice OF peace was heard,
and order reigned in the Council Chamber An
Alderman moved to go into secret session, and
that the two combatants be requested to with
draw. The lobby members gave unmistakable
signs Of approval, one of them very cunningly
remarkirg, 8" if we only get them out into the
hall, they will go at it again. and then we shall
have some fun" This suggestion at once gave
the Alderman making the motion great popu-
larlty in the lobby. However, such amuse-
ments as throwing heavy inkstands being an
Aldermanic privilege, and this introduction of
new duelling weapon being worthy of admira-
hon, If not imitation, liberal Alderman had it
ordered to be passed over. Tile matter was evil
iently, as Mr.. Toots would say, & of no conse-
luence.''
Since writing the above, we have heard from
Mr.. John Brown, the victim of misplaced con-
hdence in Collector Downs. He assures us that
nothing but his feelings :" sickened DER with the
pale. east of melancholy" could have prevented
his presence in the lobby on that memorable
evening; but that, at present, he does not feel
that he could enjoy any public amusements. So
far as he is informed, he thinks both parties
'tood fire handsomely-ar opinion in which he
. no way shaken by the fact of their lodging,
" the introduction Of the inkstand as weapon
d novel matter, and new rules should be
applied to its use. He concludes by asking
~ to publish a volumnious essay upon
Inc Origin, History and Uses of the
lnkstand. Our space, however, forbids any at
empt to publish his learned essay in full
de says, he nowheres finds the inkstand men
Toned In Ancient History; but, nevertheless
leems 1t reasonable conclusion that Homer,
ne Well-known epic poet, could never have
Vritten such immense works as the Odyssey and
he Illiad, without possessing SO useful an ac-
sssary. Virgil, Cesar and Cicero, and 9TH
re- living in their works, he thinks must, also,
ave had their inkstands He further states,
hat inkstands originated in the necessity of
nding something to confne ink in, as it would
o. otherwise stand by you The first case he :
nds recorded Of the inkstand being used as an
nensive weapon is that of Martin Luther, who
brew his inkstand at the devil, and Brown, |
therefore,, sagely suggests that as each of the
plainly g had the devil in him. each
NY have been throwing at the devil in the .
'ner. Brown concludes that, upon the whole, a
OK wristbands should be Immediately intro Il
'ueeo into the Council, as safer and more eco IL
'omical than those now in use. g
are indebted to the steamers Columbus ii
md Magnolia for the latest ST Lou;s and 10 m
lille papers receyad -