Muscatine journal. [volume] (Bloomington, Iowa) 1849-185?, 1853-12-02
HUMOROUS.

pray. Miss c." said a gentleman he
other evening, why is ii tina, the ladies
are SO fond of oliicers2" "How stupid!"
replied Miss c., lis it not perfectly nat
ura and proper that lady should like
good offer, sir2"
''The blackbrd whistles for his dinner
just like myself" said an Irishman TO his
companion. Flows that, Paddy. my
darlint?' '.Why, you spalpleen. don't
you see that when he whistles he's call
ing for his mater"
An old lady. who did not know whe,h-
er her plantation was in Virginia or
North Carolina, found when the line
was run, that she was IA resident Of the
former. ''Well," said she, sim glad
don't live in North Carolina. L. was
always sickly State''
"Snuggs," said Mugs, as the two
were Keeling home late at night, "if
find my wife up I'll lick her, because
she has no business 10 be burning up
wood and candles for nothing, and il
she's gene 10 bed I'll lick her. because
she's got no business to go to bed before
| do"
German having been hauled up be-
fore magistrate, asked that dignilary
the following impertinent string Of sau-
sages:
Mime frow come home nit the mark
house, and pays the sassage mii five
cent, and der sassage he's nix goot, who
pays me for The moonish!"
young lady have been engaged o
get married, took occasion TO change
her mind, aud besought The aid OF d
friend, saying, lido hell me oul Of this
knot"
20, cer,ainly," replied her friend,
that's easily done, as i: is only beau.
knott
A lawyer was once pleading a case
that brought tears into the jurors eyes,
and every one gave up the case as gone
for the plaintiff. But the opposing
counsel arose and said: MAY il please
the court do not propose in this case
TO bore for ,cafer, bai-' Here the
tears were suddenly dried, laughter en-
sued, the righteousness OF the case was
exposed. and The defendant got clear.
Az INaUIKlKG MiND.-The following
anecdote which friend related to US 5
an actual occurrence, smacks some W hat
OF the stories o! childen related by the
KDickerbocker
A st,ipling, some eight years of age,
was engaged in the manufacture Of
stool, which, on account cf disparity
in the length OF the legs, n fused to stand |
up. After frui,less efforts to make il |
do so,
"Mother." inquired he, "does the Lord
see everythingg''
"Yes, my SON."
"Well.' rerlied the young hopeful, |
"ihen guess he'll laugh when he sees
this stool.o
SuLpnuRoss.-Av erdant Irish girl |
just arrived, and sent 10 an Intelligence
Office BY the Commissioners Of Emigra
ton. TO find place OF service. She
was sent TO a restaurant, where .stout
help was wanted, and while in CONVEX
salion with the proprietor. he took &C.
casion 10 light his cigar BY igniling
EOCoioCO NutCu Ou tUt SOlc vi Ills UOOI.
As soon IS the girl saw this, she ran
away half frightened to death. and
" hen she reached the Intelligence Office
she was almost breathl
why, what is the matter with you2"
'sid the proprietor, seeing her rush in,
n such confusion.
"Och. sure, sir. but yes STINT me to
he old divil himself, in human form!"
"What do you mean-has he dared to
insult "a help from my Officer inquired
he man.
"Yis, sur" returned the girl-"he's
he. divil."
What did he do to you! tell me, and
III fix him tor it, said he, quite exas-
persted.
Why. sur, whilst | was talkin' 10
i'm about the wtges, he turned up he
o'iom Of his fut. and with a splinter in
is fingers. sur, he jis gave one strike,
nd the fire few on. OF his fu,. aud burn
d the stick. and he lighted his segar
id it right sfore my own face. He's
he diyil, sure, sur IN. !. PieUyxne. {