The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1853-08-15
THE WIT AND HUxBUG or THE msTnopMIs,
Ao0okDiEG TO THE
Provincial Newspaper Editors.

Ao0~sDA"o ~ ThH
Provincial Newspaper Editors.
~>~~~~~~~~>>~>~~~>~
from the Albany Atlas, August 1871
THE LAST HUxBUG.
The press OF New York city, which has success.
sively introduced to the world the fire annhjlator
the Fejee mermaid the Indian Bourbon the Eric
engine, the t.Unon and the Crystal Palace, be-
sides Boskywosky, Flattery and OBattery the re Al
patriots and cantatrlce and predicatore inumerabe
have ut last taken their crafts to sea, and made .
miraculous haul of fish. They have invented the
Lord Stirling claim, In whom they say. the crown
of England invested the exclusive property Of the
fisheries along three thousand miles of coast. The
heir Of this Lord they say, has sold his right to the
develope its resources.
II is true that it has been well established that the
line OF Lord Sterling is extinct, and that the preten
slons which once existed to the succession OF the
title were cOnsummate impOsture backed nv dextar
GUS forgery II is true also that no such piopertv in
fisheries Is shown to have ever existed But what
difference does that make to metropolitan editor
The genius that transmitted copper-colored pap
pOose into . Bourbon prince, recalled to life the
buried son Of Marie Antoinette aud Installed him in
an indians wigwam need not recOil before any effort
OF Invention. Ferdinand Mendez Pinto might Weld
his crown as prince Of liars" to such men, aud
Muncnausen might bow In modesy before these
ther hey are describing, with graceful perspicacity
piece Of complicated machinery, or narrating with
admirable simplicity, some historical incident5
some people ascrbe this absence Of truth to de-
metropolis are like the mistresses Of the despotic
sultan, VINO was accustomed to give the queens of
his haItm but day to live For many years the
city public brutaly destroy ed those who catered to
its passions. At length an earthborn Hour appear
ed, wio had the art to trap its Imagination in net
OF never ending fictiOns.
thousand and one inventions, each transcending
theother In improbability averted the catastrophe
and prolonged the days of the beautiful and be-
witliDg Schehe zarade of the Harem. Since then,
storytelling has got to be trade, much among
the professors who frequent the coffee houses Of
Tufey. Lying is one OF the fine arts The presses
OF be metropolis are not merely the professors of
schVl, but the founders of new science.
(From tbs Richmond Examiner, August 5l
NEW YORK WIT AND HUMOR
btLdnt1n the Amerioan rival of Punch, after Asring
thrckh thort existence has d,ed out Comic ne VS..
pspen do not to ed hore they do abroad
The RAIDERS arc too widely catered to appreciate local
The, hsve generally BEEN left to depend on the
huno Of ooe or two editors md n man can be witty
every week 10 his life. Punch IL sussined by The
ronna OF soIens II writer's Aod its success enables it
to c0rSpd the Of the most popular numorists
of tbedAy, and to pay sell for tasm.
Weclip the above paragraphs from the Albany
ECenng Journal, though the context, and tho
sourcewhence they are derived matters of little
momett, as we design using the extract in much the
same way that popular preachers employ their scrip.
tursl phylacteries-that is to say, as convenient
occasnn for some very promiscuous remarks. and
with Narcely any other purpose than to improve
our text
The obituary, or cratic funebrs, pronounced by
the Albany Journal over che unlamented remains Of
the eSinguished Lamtern-(which never was any
thing letter than very dark lantern indeed) may
perhaps furnish true explanation, as far as 1t
goes Of the early decline Of that lugubriousy comica
sheet, which never strayed beyond the line Of very
tragical mirth " but it is only partial planation
of the tedious BRIEF term of its e9ulgence; and
affordsno solution Of the curious phenomenon that,
since the Lantern has gone out there is no greater
darkness than before in the atmosphere, and, not
wthstandng the disappearance Of all the corrusca-
tioDs Of the Northern galaxy, no stars con be dis
covered to be missing from the heaven Of New York
wit.
II the sudden dccease Of the Lantern could be ex-
planned. on the priaciple supposed by the Albany
Journal, the old aphOrism-
vrtus lAudstur ct slget-
that merit was unapp reciated and unpaid, we
should have very little to say. But, unfortunately,
however true the asse veraton might be in regard
the starvation part Of the maxm,-which we do not
doubt, as the paper had always lean and hungry
look like Cessus and illustrated is name by being
excessively lantern awed the merit was not merely
upapprcciated, but inappreciable, and whatever
praise it got, was manufa ctured by itself at the
same tune that 1t compounded its OIher good things.
There was q constant Pos piaud.te. perraeatiog
every issue Of the paper, but these were the only
Ilaudits bestowed upon it, and if it realized the
serptural declaration in its death, that /" its good
Works do follow it it amply provided that ts own
good words should go before 1t ingcniously effected
that its picnic should be eaten by it before it was
baked; AVID anticipated its po,thumous fame by
treating itself 70 IN imaginary contemplation of re.
ncwn. asserted, but never acquired.
Several awkward and elaborate efforts have been
made in tie clumsy and overgrown city of New
York to produce. by artificial means. q continuous
stream of wit and humor; but every spasmodi; at
tempt has eveutua'ed in pretty much the same re-
suit as attended Paines celebrated water light. In
both DpcpS the Suunlv Of cold water w M
d0nt; hut in neither did the light become even mo-
mentsrily apparent, although promised with grand
flourish OF ruInrets, ard wonderful blowing OF
rams horns, and painfully cOntrved BY purely
mechanical process. The water would remain I'M
changed aud would admit no miracle; the scltilla
tons would not manifest themselves, much less
would they combine into any jet of brilliancy.
OF these feeble tapers, which are brought forward
as the grand umiIaries of the Northern heavens
though they burnt but very dmly, and always had q
musky look and fce,id odor which indicated ran
cid train oil as their sole alIment, the John Donkey
and the Ld;lfrn-sire and son-were the most IL
lutrious the most illustrated competitors for po-
pular favor. Neither of them ever attained even the
rude comicality of Davy Crockett's almanac or sur
passed it, dignity; bat they prolonged the doubtful
honors of their house. There was no chance of mis-
apprebeDding the bray Of the former; it was one of
those rare beings which spoke for tself-an accom-
psbment only once land then miraculously, attained
before in the long history of the race in the Of
Baalams intelligent charger. Still the John Donkey
was very iunby, as was ineVisDie When JaChA 3
attempted vocal music and singing for the million.
The laugh, however, exploded in the wrong direc-
ton. II furnished new calculation, so pontedly
made by Lord Rochester's epigram, and was at the
expense of the JOKER not iu concert with his wit.
wNeezy. and asthmatc respiration, heavy move
mtnt Of the lungs and diaphragm, like the working
of blacksmith's bellows, and 6nica lasetto in the
vocalizatioD, cid not prevent the paternity Of
the Laaten from being recognized. 1t was
the image of its father; it had its fathers
nose, its fathers eyes, his voice. and his ears.
And 10 thy ileau eots we trace
The features Il thy fa'b-r's faos,
AID oil BIZ spnit d seiis in thee.
The younger donkey, however, courtcd all the
latest fashions it did not tarry ut Jericho till its
heard was grown bat mixed tar and grease together
for lather, and tried to shave with dull razor in
an old locking glass stolen from Punch, and impor-
ted frlm Ennnd xnreY Tor its use Il studied Ill