The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1853-11-29


and shake his name, and ii tho Russian bear
don't get licked or scared, and turn tail to and
run, but holds on and eats one end OF Turkey,
then England and France will clap their heads
together and eat up tothcr end, jest to keep it
from spiling.
Now, when all this rumpus gets to its high
est pitch in Europe. and all tho nations go ut
it pel NELL it'll be Jest the TIME for us strike,
and go to annexin. and carry out our manifest
{ estiny in handsome manner What's tho
use of our nibbng about along small-fry near
home and annexin little patches here and there,
sich as Cuba and little slices off of Mexico,
when we might jest as well branch out and do
somethin splcndid-someihn that old Rome
couldn't hold a candle to. somethn that Cine
raj Gushing himself could say was quite ''up to
the occasion?' Who wants to wait for our
manifest destiny till one half the present gen.
Grafton has died off? l say no; nOw's the
time; we must strike when the irons hot
So, when the Gar and all his troops ar, away
down South popperin Turkey. let us whip
round int, the Baltic and annex St Peters
burgh, and put navy and an army there that
will command oil Northern Europe. By that
time England and France will get to quarrel
ing with each other to SEQ which shall have
Constantinople, and that will be the time for us
to he down upon them like thousand of brick.
-
Bull by the horns, take Paris. and that'll give
us all the jning countries. Then sail up the
Mediterranean, drive the English and French
fleets all aforo US, force our way through the
Darnin needles and get possession of that ''gol-
den horn" they tell about Then, il under
stand geography right. we shall have full sweep
all over creation.
What's to be done on 'toiher side. over the
Pacific way. anti much. Commodore Perry
has fairly got his wedge into tho oyster she!l
Of Japan. and thst's half the battle. jest
send word to him to annex China on his way
round, and on his route home pick up the is
lands along on the Pacific, which will be jest
as easy as tn pick mp So many birds eggs
After we get through our manfest destiny. |
don't SEQ what there need be to binder our en-
jOying peace and quietness ut homo and bav
ing a good time Of il. We shall then have
enough for all hands and no mistake; Offices
enough for all them that wants offices, and
spoils enough for all that's hungry for spoils.
And then let every man of rs "set his face like
flint as well against tight bnckslid-
ings as against left-handed defectnhs, which
may prejudice or embarrass tho onwaad prng
ress of the Republic Then there needn't be
any more quarreling between tho Hards and
Softs about which gets tho most, for there'll
be enough for the whole billing lot of EN-.
We ought to be going ahead with this busi-
ness as fast as possible, for Uncle Joshua says
the party has got into terrible snafl. and
nothing hut a coop da-tdt can get 'e'n out of II.
He says Collector Bronson, OF New York, has
lost his head. owing to u little misundorsand
ing between him and Mr.. Guthrie. They both
tried TO SEQ who could stand up tho straig ghf-
est on the Baltimore platform, and they both
agreed that the platform was tho rule, and
everything ought to DO Strengthened up t. 1t.
Mr.. Bronson was quite impartial and Mr..
Guthrie a good deal more so. When Mr..
Bronson took his seat Mt the head of the Gus
tom House table, and all sections OF the par
ty came crowding and shufflng round to get tho
bes. places at the table and alongside of the
best dishes, he tried give em all fair chance,
but somehow he thought il was no more than
right 10 help roand first them that always stood
fair and square on the platform, and If some of
them that used to spit an il had to wait little,
il might do 'cm good. But the sptters made
n terrible fuss about it. and kept up sich din
in Mr. Guthries ears that he turned round
and told Mr.. Bronson right mp and down that
hc mustn't show no pariiaGty. If a splitter
wasn't catched splitting on the platform nor,
give him his regular meal This touched Mr..
Bronson little, and flo said he was able TO do
the honors of his own table. and he would at
tend 10 the duties Of his Office if Mr.. Guthrie
would his Mr. G. Ithrie said that was rebel
ion; so he brought him to the block and chop.
ped his head off.
Uncle Joshua snys it is a very unfortunate
business. and has thrown the whole party into
a high fever. The fever rages tho hardest in
the sections of the New York Hards. and
looks though it might prove fatal. Bat 'n-
cril Cushing, who is very skiIful in snch mat
ters. has put blister on 10 tho Massachusetts,
Sofs. in tho hopcs of drawing out the infla-
nation from the New York Hirls Bui Un-
cle Joshua VS. he don't think tho party is out
of danger yet. But SIS lonI as. there's life
there's hope: so let US all keep stiff upper
lip and go ahead.
Your faithful friend and Minister Gneral
MAJOR JACK DOWNING.