Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1853-07-30
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way, was as eccentric as his mastery 10 bring
him his boots John brought up tbe boots
IN the same state rs they were tsken off tho
evening previous.
why didn't you polish my boots ?" said
the Dean
There's no use in polishing ihem," re-
plled the man, "ior they would soon be dirty
again"
VERY true" said the Dean, and he put on
his boots Immediately after he went down
90 the landlady and told her on no account 20
lgive bis servant any breakfast. The Dean
oreakfasted and then ordered the horses out
As he was ready to start John ran 10 him in
a great hurry and said
"Mr Dean, didn't get my breakfast yet"
"Oh," replied the witty divine, there's no
use in your bteakfasting. for you would be
hungry again"
john finding his theory thrown back on
himself submitted to the privaiion with The
same stoicism as did his master with his
boots. On they rode, the Dean in front read
ing his prayer book. and the man behind at q
respectful distance, when they were met by q
gentleman, who, after eycing the Dean very
closely. accosted the servant thus:
81 -ay, my man, you and your master seem
to be sober par may l ask who you are
and where you are going"
"We're going to heaven" replied john
"My master is praying and I'm fasting"
The gentleman looked again in wonder.
ment at the master and man, and then rode
Iof
EFA funny incident came under our no.
tice the other day. While waiting our turn
at the BARRIERS fellow 'poked his head In
and asked if they did curling there. He was
answered in the affirmative, when stepping
inside and calling after him most yillainous
looking cui he pointed to it saying. Il would
ike TO have you curl that dogs tail them
No wise abashed at the burst Of laughter
(which greeted him. the barber stepped sor-
ward and fetching the dog a lusty kick, poin-
Ted 10 the continuation OF the now yelping
owner tightly coied between his legs, and
demanded his quarter for the job Doggy
and his master left amid the yells of the OK
cited bystanders, while the knight of the
lather brush uuconcerned called for the next
cusiomer-M y. DutchmaR.
n GE ECoMPL1NENTARY-"Mrs. Polly," said
Uncle Eb, Of Up Town. as he hobbled one
morning into her entry, where the good dame
was busily handling the broom, MRS. Polly,
you are a first rate sweeper-why, my Sally
will sweep our house from top TO bottom, and
then not begin to get together as big pile Of
dirt as you have swept up there in ten miu-
utes Uncle Eb left, with broomstick after
him, but not more rapidly than when, enter
ing the house of an ancient maiden lady
"stad, tidy and discrect'--without wiping
his feet, the offended spinster exclaimed, "Did
you not observe the scraper at the door, sir ?"
"Yes'm," said Uncle Eb, "and intend to use
it when go out"
Eg A strictly orthodox old gentleman in
' Massachusetts, returned home on Sunday af.
\ ternoon IRON church, and began to exiol TO
his son the merits of the sermon.
81 have heard. Frank" said he. zone Of the
most delight tful sermons ever delivered be-
fore christian society. 1t carried me to the
gates OF Heaven"
"Well, l think" said Frank. 'You had bet.
ter have lodged in, for you will never get
$ another such chancel'
E4;-ro Coon TO BE Losr-There came
very green, though fine hish gal from the
Old Country, and obtained situation in the
family OF Mrs. B.. She was there but q
short time. before her Mistress sent her for
, candies; but By the by on the way she was
Il SO unlucky as to drop them in barrel of rain
II water. She went home with them and put
$ them in hot oven. When dusk came the
u Mistress inquired for them, land faith" said
she. "and didn't l drap them in the rain
barrel and got them wet, and put them in the
oven to dry"
EE A mans spirits depend good deal
on the way he moves Rushing along at the
c rate of million minute, and your senatious
! will become as buoyant as the stock market
e Substitute for this the inanimate crawl OF q
Il canal boat, and in less than an hour your
soul will feel as if il were laboring under for
u ty-two City and supper Of pigs feet
EyA spirit-rapper has lately had COM
/, munioa,ion from Absalom, in which that
:. Prince begs Dayid's pardon for his rebellious.
ness, and says that his custom ever since his
ieath has been 20 wear wig for fear OF
another accident similar to the one which
: belel him on EARTH
d Eg~It is said that pretty pair Of eyes
o are the best mirror man can shave by.
J. 'Zactly so, as it is unquestionably the case
,hat many man has been shaved BY them
'e EF-"Young man, do you know what re.
la,ions you sustain in the worldly" said
If minister 10 young man of the church.
: "Yes. sir" said the hopeful convert, two
# cousins and grandmother. but don't IN
+ tend 10 sustain them much longer"
: gThey have fogs so thick in the vicinity
o Of Newfoundland, that a Yankee is about
d turning it to account. He intends 10 dry and
e use i. for slufling cushions, instead Of WOOL
: Ey-Mrs Partington upon reading in pa
: per, that the light guards appeared last even-
- ing in 'undress uniform said
y 'Well, if soldiers will 60 naked, am xfad
that they don't train in the day time--I ana.'
Ezg- Wanted to know whether public y0r.
L lists who sing out Of tune can be legally <,ass
N ed ut:ering false notes Whether abb nd ,a.,
J can be held liable for bill payable :, s;sb.
/ GS- -SHARP-SHoorITG.- -Hays, an;,o.,s -
;, souls IN y Day Book. D
Has the editor Of the Dc ~ Ro i -