Loudon free press. (Loudon, Tenn.) 1852-1855, 1853-09-30

The Sick Bdcasi0r.--Here | am, a doomed
man-booked for fever, in this gloomy room,
up Jour flights of stars; nothing to look at but
one table, two chairs and cobwebS; pulse rack
ing like locomotive; head throbbng as if il
were hOOped with iron; mouth parched as Ish-
male ill the desert; not a bell rope within
reach; sun pouring IN through those uncertain
ed windows hot enough to SINCE off ny eve lash
es; all my confidential letters living loose on
the table; couldn't get up to them if you held
one of Colts revuvers to my head. All my
masculine friends (?) are parading Broadway,
suppose peeping under the pretty girls, bonnets,
or drinking ''sherry coblers." A sherry cobler
Bacchus! what a uxuryl l believe Satan sug-
gested the thought to me-
HeighO! | suppose the doctor (whom they
have sent fUr) will come before long: some
great, pompus Esculapius, with an owl phz, a
gold-headed cane, an oracuar voice. and cal
lous heart and hands, who will first manipulate
my wrist, and then take the latitude and longi-
tude of my tongue then, he will punch me in
the ribes and torment me with more questions
than there are in the ASSemblys catechism;
then, he'll bother me for writing materials, to
screatch off a hieroglyphic humbug prescrip-
ton, OderinE FIVE times as much medicine as
need; then, | shall have to pay for it; then ten
to Que, the apothecary's boy will put up piosIon,
by mistake! Caesar! how my head spins round;
Hippodrome racing is nothing 20 it.
Hist! there's the doctor. NOl it is that little
unregenerated cub, my landlady's pet bov, with
a bran new drum, (as Tam sinner) upon
which he is beating crucifving tattoo. If
only had a boot jack to throw at him! No, that
won't do: his mother wouldn't make my gruei.
III bribe him with sixpence TO keep the peace.
The little embryo Jew! he says he tc0.tt do IL
nader a qnarte! TwItted little pinalore! /,
Tom Halliday, six feet in my stockIngs | shall
go frantic.
''Doctor is coming!' Well, let him come;
Tn savage as if Id just dined off a cold Mis-
sIonary. I'll pretend 10 be asleep and let old
Plil-bOx experiment
How gently he ireads; how soft his hand is;
how cool and delicious his touch! How ten
derly he parts nv hair over my throbbing tenn
piles! Ills magnetic touch thrills every drop of
blood iii nv veins; it is marvellous how soothing
it is. | feel as happy as hummiug bird in a
lily cup, drowsy with honey due. Now he's
mDved away. | hear him writing prescription.
I'll Just take peep and see what he looks like.
Caesar A ggripinal if it ism t Female Physician!
dainty as Pcri-and my bard three days 0id!
What bust Wonder how my hair looks?-
What a foot and ankle! what shoulders! what a
little round waisl Fever? I've got t,ceHty fe-
vers, and the heart complaint besides. What
the mischief sent that little witch here? She
will either Kill or cure me, pretty quick.
Wonder if she has any more masculine pa
tence? Wonder ifthey are handsome? Won
der if she laws that little dimplen hand on their
f0rehads, as she did on mine? Now she has
done writing; I'll shut my eyes aud Crane, and
then, maybe, she will pet me more; bless her
little soul!
She says ''poor felowl' as she holds my
wrist; "his pulse is too quick" In the name
of Cupid what does she erpcc? She says. as
she pats nv forehead with her little plump I'm
gers, "Sh-'sh! keep COOL" Lava and brim-
stonel does she take me for an iceberg?
Oh, Cupid of all your devices feminine doc
torng for a bachelor is the ne Plus ultra Of
II don't have a prolonged run
Of fever my name isn't Tom Haliday
She's gone! and-Im gone, tool-FdHny
Fern.