The Santa Fe weekly gazette. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.T. [i.e. N.M.]) 1851-1854, 1853-06-04
"A SCOTCH HUMORIST.

A recent number Of Chambers Edin-
burgh Journal, contains the following
curious extract Of a letter writtenin 1902:
Well, ! have seen your friend, and find
him to be exactly what you described
him as being, a 'humorist.' He seems
to have impaired much Of that character
to everything around him. His servants
are oil admirably disciplined to second
his whims, and his very furniture is, for
the most part, adapted to the same pur.
pose. This put me upon my gnard; and
there was hardly anything in the room
that did not touch with apprehension.
No trick, however, was practised upon
me; and, as | found subsequently, was
indebted for such indulgenccto one which |
was reserved for me at night, and which
was such as perhaps all my English
phlegm would not have enabled me to
bear with patience. Icscaped, however,
being put to the proof, by the merest nc
cident-the arrival OF q poor Scotch sur
veyor, who was thought a filter subject
for the often repeated experiment.
The Scotchman was treated with ex.
treme hospitality; he was helped to ev-
erything to excess; his glass was never
allowed to stand full or empty for one
minute. The potations were suspended
not until, and only while the cloth was
laying for supper, during and after which,
they were resumed with renovated cner.
gy. Our entertainer was like the land.
lord described by Addison; the liquor
seemed to have no other effect upon him
than upon any other vessel in the house.
1t was not SO with this scotch guest, who
was by this time much further advanced
upon the cruise of intoxication than hall
seas over ta t
In this state he was conducted to his
chamber-a fine lofty Gothic apartment,
with Il bodsttad that seemed cooval with
the building. | say seemed, fer that was
. byno means the case, it being III reality
d a modern piece Of structure. It was d
IS dark mahogany, with It's four posts cx
= tending completely ia TIE ceiling Of til;
y - chamber. The bed, however, was MOI
ic more than about two feet from the floor
the better to enable the party to get into
it. The Scotchman, with good deal o
= assistance, was soon undressed, and hat
his body deposited in this place Of re
pose. All the party then retired, wish
ing him good night, and removing tn
4. candle for fear OF accidents.
OF When the loor was closed, was 70
the first time made acquainted with til
structure Of the bedstcal, which our hos
considered ss his masterpiece. Upon III
touching ofa spring, outside the door, til
bed was so acted upon by pulley, thu
it assembled slow y and smoothly tllroAg
hs the four posts, until it can't within ~
re- re. or three fee, Of the ceiliog. Tie snoi
,-h inc Of the Scotchman was the signi
iii fur touching the sping, and lr W
iss ies soon at tie proper attitude.
The servants required no inslruclo,
how To act. 10 one moment b. hou,
DO was in an uprosr; cries of"6rr! !irrl
was heard IN different direct ons
pile Of sl,avings was sci in a blaze o,
= posi'e The window where poor Sawu,
,ts. slept The landlords voice WAS heal
ach exclaiming:
~ ,'Good heavens! save Tie DOR Scott
% gentleman, il possible; the ia'Acs La
got into the room just under Iiml'
s. At this moment, we heard INN ia
aud below oai. A sudden silence to,
- place-every light was cxinguisIt
and the whole house seemed 10 be bo
to led in the most profound repose. I
lily, Scolchuan's v&ce could alone BE- hea,
hon on roaring on, in TIE high dialect OF
ruia country for assistance.
Don A, length, Two ol the men ssrvan
.its M in their shirts, catered tie room, viii
arIy candle just lit, "ad yavning, as il j
aroused from their FIRST sleep III
found him sprawlIng on the iloor.
~, dear, sir, what is the matter "
you? r0gU rs
'Matiell' says he; why, isn't
ng', house OH iire?' as
Not al all, sir 1b.ote4g. en]q
'sSl o. sWhat was The reason Of ihe cries
,e @ Of FIRE theE?' 0!.,. ol =
Ter. sBless yon, sir, yon must have b
",iSl 'aG'I dreaming; why, there's moi SO nneh
on Of . mouse stirring, and his honor and
,,,. whole family have been asleep III
I and three honrf. 4Ai Y
I. The Seoicilman now gave mp all
Ne. IL n l.