Muscatine journal. [volume] (Bloomington, Iowa) 1849-185?, 1853-10-28
Humorous.

Why should elderly psopls never indulge in
joking!
- II IL ssid there 80 people in The Mouutaio
wagon, which happened 70 Pc. that way, twenty
miles, just whether the hind wheels would over
take tho fore snes
-" It's beautiful tail, sure, that your honor's
horse carries behind him, remarked Pat 70 gentle
man. And doesn't everything that carries . tail
en sure carries is tail on one side and it, head on
the other"
IL Scotchuas, Who lately put mp ct Qasbec,
was asksd in the morning how be slept. "Troth,
mOn," r;Ilicd Donald, 'nae vera wsel, either, bat
was muckle bseter % tbsn the bugs. for dahl ane
Of them closed N &c the hale NIGHT"
-" You say. Mr.. Sprisgles, that Mr.. Jacobs was
your tutor. Does the Court understapd from that,
that you received your education from him! ?"
"Ns, sir. By tutor mean he learnt me 10 play
on the French horn. He taught me 70 toot-hsncs,
.Ah, the court understood you differently. crisr,
call the next Witnen."
- At breakfast, one morning, In . quiet and
comfortable old inn, foreigner made quick dispatch
with the egg. Trusting bic spoon in the middle, he
next. When be had gst TO his seventh egg. an old
farmer, who had already been preudicsd against Mon
ieur BY his moustache could brook the exfavagance
NO longer, and speaking up, eaid
"Why, sir, You leave all the white! How y Mrs.
Lockwood 70 anord t. provide breaiiass u that
rate?"
Ivy" replied the outside barbarian, "yoa vouldns
hab me eat Do vlts! DE- vite 10 d. feddsrs. Am to
make ore bolstsr Of ny stonieksf'
- The "mslaaoholy days" Of Autumn, "ths
sweetest OF the yea.' have come. ana Win tnsm
aThs Holly Hook hss fadsd. Polly,
The Sun a,wse . Lost its kue,
Yet sure ~ live, By eo'ly,
I ses no change IN yoa
Toe summer nov hes gene, Polly,
Ard With IL I'll the roses,
The frost d coming soos, Polly,
To make - blow our noses"
Whsn h. got there, b bsoams 70 "nelaecboly" he
bad 70 stop and 1ss hisooat sleeve III Ers Observer
An honest old farmer, rather ignorant 81 the i'm
proved method VI aehesviatou, went certain stsee
With which be did bis trading, 70 make he annual
settemset On looking over Il. BE- occ sonsiy found
charges like the following: "To ID ditto" Not
knowing the meaning Of The tssm 'dsto. b oonolu.
ded The aeooant vas not connect, end posted on hsns
swifs." said be. ''shis d pretty business Mr..
- has charged me with pounds of ditto. Nsw I
ehosd like 70 know What you have done with - much
ditto.''
pound sf ditto In ny house In my lie"
S. back vset the fsrmsr, IN high daasson that b
shoald b charged With thisgs be nsvss resolved.
"Mr. -." Mid h, "ny wife says she never bad
pound Of ditto 10 ths houss In bar life"
The merchant thsreupoa explained the meaning OF
the term, and tho farmer went bone satisfied. Hi1
wife Inquired II b lad found ont the meaning Ut
ditto. "Yss, said h. ait means an darnsd tool
and yos'n ditto"
Dsseh RsslssA.
Jacob Pelses. midSls-sssd eeatlsmas, Of Tsutos-
10 origin. his apparel we'll ncrusted With dry mud
and bis hat looking like collapsed stsaoboat with
the tip blown Of. was seoaght up % complaint Of =
dry goods nan for stealing pises Of corduroy, va.
usd q seven dollars.
The Mayer asked II be understood Enslish.
"Ysw, taiks hin 'oolt rsss.'
eds you know Whist stsal meaDsl"
"Yau, hin ish iron vat ish mads hard"
EYES, hat y one kind Of steel. bat noe The 90
mean. d, Jon understand this: bow eAns you 70
steal this scsdaroyi"
sPso.uss nias prsssAss vas Aishs goot to g 70
church."
.Dos !. s.tssAisy y.sds y naks yss paif Of
"Yav, tsr schnsidsr au.t havs some IA cabbage.
and fodder watts lsft might Do for mine vrow when
eses married. Il voald naks hse root eost."
81 ~ that ycu ere naa Of foresight. bat don't
%. hno. sa.. ;s. ~ Of Getting The s'ssas'' end
a tsnt - shost e isv. Isss Tuchuaa..'
ssHavs you any friend Who viii 20 bail Ter yoa3"
"BIsnty Of friends, and more dan suppose yos
have yeuIssaf. Osy como and schvcsr anything
Dsy soAssas yer I vas, end 81 me clear"
ss0h, " don't want then b sweas-vs want them
b give security fer yosf appsarascs - eoart. You
sss e. !ys,Sss. J. - s..ss 3
"Ysw, yes Asd I niehs dsll any IL. Tutshnan
asvu g snydine vtsA - 'tslid % dsll. Ysv, IL
sssslt .r 80 bat vaa goss 70 ssssl der nassa to
psy init"