Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1853-12-22
VARIETY.

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MA wag Has one day speaking or tive
of his aequaintances who had goRs west,
where new comets were usually attached the
: first season, with the ague, and sai3 he
Neither Of these two men will ks hfiict-
ed lIlI
,Why not = inquired bystanderl
Because, was tho reply, 'one ofthem is
too lazy to shake, and the other woaIllshake
ynless he gets pay for il Hill
HrAs one of the deputy sherigs,,h day
or TIVE since, WAS speaking Of takihgId man
to prison, he said he wsuld much rather take
lady
company.
% no, ne. to take her to jail RELIED the
man. Ifs
But, lady quickly rejOiasd, 'YSpwould
have been glad to have taken one t. FOErt.'
Es-'Why do you not, thank GU, 'asked
Mansur Of an Arab, that, since have been
Your ruler, you have never been afflicted
with the plague ? 1
God is-too good to send tive sconrges up
on US it once was the reply, but il cost the
speaker his life. FaFE
H-Two Irishman were in prise1-one
for stealing csw, the other for stealing
watch. As
mike, said the cow-stealsr, one day, what
o'clock Is it2, lEf
Och, Pat, I haven't my ,oaich handy
but think il is abeut milking time.'
Pat felt eO,0'd. HID
lg-A restless geaius whs went to ) Qua
ker meeting, and after bearing the deosrous
gravityf>ds patiently as he could fer an hour
or tive, at last declared he could moi stand
ii any longer Why said he, 'itfssenough
10 tire the~sery D--l eut' Yea friend
responded An elderly member Of the. congre-
cation, does thee net knew that isexactly
what We want2 ri
lrs-A lady passing along the streets in a
Northern City noticed little boy who vas
scattering salt on the sidewalks for she pur-
pose Of cleaning eff the ice, which was very
slippery. swell, I'm sure said the lady,
this il pure benevolencc' @Nqfit amt
ma'sn, replied the boy, tits salt 'ls!1
aS-Ths tailofs of Ghichsgs are On strike
fer higher wages One Of their demands is
that Esmen Shall rot DO employed in the
business. II they were 10 demand Sat Eo,
men should be paid the same rates as them
selves, |. would bs7more manly and more cas-
lily complied With. IiII
mMarried in Pine Grsye, Alabs1aa, Mr..
Jonas Pillow, to Miss Sarah Scriptufssb both
Of that place. .sI:f
Sone keep the Scripture for shas,i
Lesfered and gilt, on their bureaug
And some to rust and moth dcgrkde it;
But Jonas took the wiser parts-IlE
He pressed the Scripture 10 his heart
And even his pillow laid il 4,
ErA man praising porter said II was SO
excellent beverage that taken intgreat
quantities il always made him fat
Il have seen the time, said another,'when
it made Jon lean,i EEIi
'Whea Z askeathe eulcgist iIf
Last night-against the wall 'lIE
S5-,Jshn, I'd like 70 bet yea thres To one
that can spell barrel With one letter. !.
'WeH, I'll take you 1itft
Now then John, ifyou were to write the
word yourself, and had bit little ressn to do
1t in, would you not think a'bars A'Iwould
be enougkf iif
"A man about to DO executed, pointed
to bis companion whs was swinging, and OBJ
served 70 the multitude
You see there a spectacle directly ] shall
be hanged, aaa thea yOu win see par 81
spectacles'
D-sLsye is where the heart Isl read the
imp from his copy, Then one Of our fair
frieads has got lots Of love stored away ua-
der the bsddice, fer she ate lets Of heart for
dinner the ether day
E-There is religious sect ia Prussia,
which devotes its energies to driving the de,
vii cut Of the noa converted bypalpablc
means, Sc that theysiatsly broke one man's
back, aad throttlei another, under the i'm.
preston that the devil, when at the psint Of
leaving the man, had stuck fastin bis threat.
narOa the banks Of the Miami canal
may BE- daily seen females Of German de.
ssent. They are said 70 be able to do al
most Is much work ascomman labsrers, and
tAey receive nearly the same wages.
Whatever Is, is right aslhe old
gentleman sxeetly remarked whea he chop
ped Of the end ofhis Rsse witk 4 razer,
ia the ende,vor to kill iy that had liz there /
on when he was shaving
ESsmebsdy eavertiscs AgeAss to sell
a work entitled aHynensal Instructor
we knaW Of, says Majar Noah, Ii 1 Young
Widow. What she don't knew, thsi1e is ne
use IN learning
G-A house painter-says an exchange
recently grained dear SO exactly IN i'm
itstion Of oak, thai last year It pat forth
leaves, and grew N excellent crop 1t aeorns.
~ There are tire reasons Why We dent
trust man enc because NC dsn't knew
hin, sad the Other because wo d.
HnrKissing pretty girl IovI ssuth.,