Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-15
&C M M u NC A II ION.


CCM MU M G. A Il ION.
NOTCE.-CANDIDAT AGAIN.
Mr. WELLS: may be little behind
hand, bu. GO. separated from the main bo-
dy and have jus, come slong, and if the 9th
er hav'n. swept the field beg leave to an
nounce myself before the congenial spirits
of The land, and as fear csnno. NEE, them
upon the hastings as often as wou Id wish,
you will please give my card an insertion
in your pepper and charge to the charger.
Fair Citizens At the earnest soIcsa-
ton Of various friends, l respectfully an
nounce myself as candidate for Matrimo.
ny, from the frs, election district Of Charles
county. And as a 1,oUus homo, throwing
myself entirely upon your sympalhles end
dependent upon your charity for my cleo
ton, feel i, my duty to define my position,
as it were, in order tia. you may form q
reader and more correct opinion of the RAJ
dicalism of the man 10 whom it is to be
hoped you will give your darling support.
First, then, fair fairies, am proud 10 tell
you that | am union loving man, and
sound upon ell the cardinal principles Of
matrimonial compromise.
Secondly. am jealous advocate for
s'woman's rights" and promise, if elected !.
that you shall wear the breeches while we
do all the darning; for | hold that your
right 10 The pants is based upon the Indis-
Pu,able principle Of precedent, for we find
that once upon time
Adam dressed in fig leaves,
And SO did Eve;
Adam put on breeches,
And why should mt Eve.
ThirJlyLam-;.. f.~e. -.e high bonnets,
s'kss- me quicks" and tight lacing, short en-
gapemen,s, generous distribution of your
smiles, and curtailing of your veto power.
Fourthly. Having long noticed the want
of science in coque.ry, which is now be-
ginning 10 be popular branch of educa-
.tion,) en- for the immediate establishment,
Of Q Scientific College, the object Of which
will be TO give all its members an insight
into the beautiful intricacies Of filtration,
and teach them the great art of smiling, sigh
ing, faining or swooning away scen'fical-
ly. when necessary.
Filthy am dead against love-licks end
love-looks, and all such wooing, cooling.
infan,ile, puerile, squeamish, pan,omimic,
monkey modes Of "popping the question:"
and in favor of insisting upon an instan,a-
neous treaty Of reciprocity and eternal allie.
glance, or a scientific Aat,' bringing mat
tiers to focus by tina,
Good old rule, that simple plan
Ofsswill you have me if you can,
And fyou can't, why go ahead
And Ill go home to blowing.
Thus, by this master coup d'etat, putting
forever at rest that delicate love question,
which has bothered and threatened The du-
rsbiIily Of bachelordom and widowerdom
for centuries.
Lastly. am hear, and soul for general
squaring off with widowers and pairing off
with bachelors.
These are my principles. This is my
platform. Upon it mean 10 stand or fall.
Before you mus, humbly and respectfully
bow. Do you sccep. my platform? then
say so and am happy. Do you dissent
from it then state your why's and where
fores. And now, oh ye fair daughters of
Eve! We brigh. sisters Of Charity ye sky
light Daguerreotyp pes of Trojan Helen ye
flowers that smile and bloom as brilliantly,
beautifully and calmly as the lily of the vale,
while the black, roaring elements of discord
are jos,ling world around, appeal TO you.
By the unbidden tears tina. roll from my
mois,ened eyes, now cleaning like wallet
of chiseIs in sad array, now marching in
single file all down my lonely cheeks, and
scattering like the leaves Of the Sibyl all
over The floor. By the strong lines of phi
losophic though. deep penciled on my Her
culesn brow; by the fresh, gay love-ligh's
that are even now nesting in your souls
and dancing around your angelic hearts,
appeal TO you. Will you not stand by the
great Radical Relormer Of the age ?-.he
champion and exponent Of "Woman's
Rights" who is in search Of an aid-de-
camp? know you will. Then rally
rally rally
Yours sincerely,
Till the end Of the campaign,
LARGE RICHARD.
The local editor Of the Cincinnati Com