The mountain sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1844-1853, 1853-06-23

and dickered with the chap about the price
"Look here, ole feller," says l, what's the
price of coffins p?
Them Sort" says he, sis from five to ten
! dollars, according to size; average about eight
dollars
oval, that's your retail price" says 1; "how'll
ye wholesale a lot, say fifty, sorted sizes, cash
down ?'
| care you going inlo the business in the citys'
says he.
| s.No," says 1, Gin the country"
''Wal, in that case," says he, after thinkin
minute, 'I'll put you fifty, for cash, at four dol
lars"
took my pencil and figured up, for I'm
middilin quick at ciphering-ffty collins at four
dollars, 5000; fifty coffins, average retail at
eight dollars, S400; profits $500. l was about
| closing the bargain, when l happened to take a
newspaper, and found the railroad company had
been a little too quick for me. They had sent
down fifty cofins to Norwalk. Wal, still had
my thoughts about me, and when l read the
idence of the Superintendent, that the next case
of this kind would MT happen under about
"three years." l made an entry in my memo
randum book as follows: |'Airly in the spring
of 1885, buy fifty coffins, sorted sizes, take 'em
privately to Norwalk, and have em all ready
for the next grand smash up; probable profit,
$500"
But I'm off the track myself now in my cruise
to Washington. Let me see; went through
Bosting and Norwalk, and New York, and the
Jarseys, and Philadelphy, and Baltimore and
Bleedingsburg, where they fight duels, and
where they say President Madison had a race
course during the last war with England, and
then L got to Washington. Washington is a
great place, but it is MT the place to get Offices
that it's been cracked up to be. Pve tried it,
and know. You said should be too late, and
that if wanted to make a haul, L ought to be
on the spot at the Presidents norgeration. But
that wasn't the difficulty, Jerry there wouldn't
a been no time lost if I'd been fortnight later.
No ofiice-seeker couldn't get within gun-shot of
the President for more than fortnight after
got there. le see, there was sich an awful
my of US, and all as hungry wolves the Pres
ident afraid of his life. He didn't dare to
be out after dark, and he KEEP his doors fasten-
| ed day and night guess there was about four
thousand Of US there holding on the taverns
was all full, and the boarding houses tew, some
of EN- three in bed, and SIX beds in a room,
besides great many sleepin in hunks and cross
ways on the floor. And there WAS about five
hundred that real ravenous. You would
always see them chaps peeping out of the tav-
ern windows, and round the doors and behind
posts and the corners of fences, watching their
chance. And if they happened to catch
glimpse at the President or one of his cabinet
anywhere out of doors, they gin chase to em
like a streak of chalk. Sometimes they'd run
'em down and have a tussle, and argufy the
question of the office they was arter. But most
commonly the President and the cabinet would
be two spry for 'em and KEEP out of their way.
see feller anywhere edgin towards 'em, fix
in his eye on 'em they'd out and run, and dodge
into the first safe place they could find, and so
getclear
Now some folks will sneer at these Office
seekers, aud say they don't foller respectable
callin. But tits MT SO. They are the most
nest missionaries we have among us, and the
most devoted to their duty. They have had
their eyes opened, and become converted to the
doctrine that this world was made purpose to
make mohey in; and they that offices
made to make money with; therefore, their du-
ty is plain before 'em, and they go at it with
all their might. And they work, Parson
Strickland says, with zeal accordin to know
ledge But now although trust | feel a
lemn wish to do my duty as well as other folks,
somehow or other must confess | felt a back
wardness in chasing the President in the streets,
especially in broad daylight So l tried my
best to get at him some other way. L found
that the President let every body, Office seekers
and all come to his great levee at the White
House about one evening week. So had my
thoughts about me; and took my recommen-
datons, and serted 'em over, and picked out
about a dozen of the strongest and best of 'em,
and rolled 'em up in a snug package, and tied
'em with little bit of neat blue rbbin, and
went to the levee. There was as big jam as
we ever had at our ''gineral muster in Swop-
town. But Pm pretty good at elbowing my
way through a crowd, so l worked my way in
arter awhile into the great East Room, and got
introduced to the President. He looked anna
zingly tuckered out, if he had been drawed
through knot-hOles for amonth
Says /, ''Gineral, how you? I am most
sincerely glad to see you, am, pom my honor"
81 don't doubt it at all, - says he, givin my
hand hearty shake; and l see at once he was
O kind hearted gentleman, and felt sure should
get the right side of him. So concluded to
watch my chance and slip my recomm endations
into his hands, when nobody didn't see me.
But I'll be hanged if there wasn't about thou
sand eyes on him oil the time and after watch
ing for a chance about half an hour, / give it
up.
Wal, then thought I'd work round behind
him and slip it into his pocket. So arter push
ing and squeezing for some time, I got round
close behind him, and when the ranks closed up
pretty close, watched my chance and begun to
fngeriround to find the way into his pocket
thought nobody didn't see me, but was mis-
taken for jest that minute feller tapped me
on the shoulder and took hold of my arm, and
told me in whisper l must go along with him.
thought he was one of the Presidents friends,
and the more acquaintance could make in the
house, the better; SO 1 went along, and he took
me away off into little room in another part OF
the house, and three or four others followed in
"Now,'' says he to two Of the chaps, ''you
must take this feler to the police office and have
him safely locked up till morning.
s'But what do you mean" says /, 'syou bum
die of rascality?"
'I mean," says he, ssthat all pick-pockets
that come into this house shall have snug quar-
ters as long as the law will give it to en-"