Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1853-06-14
GaUsrs. Tom Hood wrote the fol-

On edrtn, WnoleSOme rear OF lying
chairs, tongs and smoothing-irons
would probably check all doubts either
Of the existence of ghosts or their abil-
ity to pitch "into" whom they please:
"Ghosts be hangedl No such thing
in nature. All laid long before the
wood pavement. What should they
come for? The golfers may rise for
higher wages, and the charterists may
rise for reform, and Joseph Surge
may rise for his health; and bread may
rise and the rising generation may rise;
but that the dead should rise, to make
ones hair rise, is more than can be-
lieve. Suppose your self a ghost
Well, if you come out Of your grave to
serve friend, how are you to help
him2 And if it's an enemy, what is
the use of appearing to him if you
can't pitch in to him?"
EXTRAORDINARY INDUcENlENs.-The
Circleville Herald, by the way of en-
couraging advanced payments, that
each OF its subscribers so paying will
be entitled to a first rate obituary no.
tice in case of death
Punch gives these directions to per-
sons desirous of pleasing their friends:
go to California; stay twenty years;
work hard; get money; save it; come
home; bring with you a load of wealth,
and diseased lungs; visit your friends;
make will; provide for them all; then
die; what prudent, kind hearted, gen
erous soul you will bel"
"There is a tall fellow, with strait
hair, down east a whitener and colorer,
who dips his head in to the white wash
and runs round the room to do the
ceiling"
CApTA1-A cotemporary thinks that
wives would make good compositors
on morning papeIs, as they are in the
habit Of sitting up late for steamers
A case was borught up, not long
since, in one of our large cities, where
pretty young widow was in danger of
loosing two thirds of her husbands es-
tate; his ltives grounding their claim
on the alleged insanity of the deflnct.
1t may be well TO premise that the
presiding judge was not only conyivial
but also very gallant.
What were your husbands last
words? inquired the attorney.
The young widow blushed and look
ing down replied I'd rather not tell.
But indeed, you must, ma'am. Your
claim may be decided by it.
Still blushing, the widow declined to
tell. At last direct appeal from the
bench elected the information.
He said, kiss me, Polly, and open
the other bottle of Champagne!'
We know not whether it was admi-
ration for the deceased husband or the
loving wife that inspired the Judge at
This instant, but he at once cried with
all the enthusiasm of conviction. Sen
aJle 10 the last by Blackstone.
A Yankee editor says: The march
of civilization is onward-onward like
the slow and intrepid tread Of jackass
to peck of oats.
If change makes change, Smithers
says he will die a millionaire, for he
has moved eight times since June.
Dobbs says that everybody might
be somebody if they would only take
pains. In his opinion, greatness is as
easily caught as the measels. Look at
Frank Pierce.
PRINTERS PRovERBs.--Pay thou the
printer in the day thou owest him, the
evil day may not be far off, lest the
good man Of the law sendeth thee thy
bill greeting.
Remember him of the quill and
devils around him, and when thou
weddest thy daughter to the man of
her choice send thou unto him a boun-
tifnl slice of the bridal cake.
Thou shalt not read thy neighbor's
paper nor molesG him in the peaceful
possession of it, lest thou standest con-
DENIED in the sight of him who driveth
the quill, and thy character be hawked
about by poor children.
The highest luxury of which the hui
man mind is sensible, is to call smiles
upon the face of misery.
Among the numerous instances of
injustice and oppression constantly oc-
curing in this boasted land of freedom,
we have seen nothing more heart rem
ding, or soul narrowing and pocket
I....l.-a. H. H. ou.o,,oooY,onp+ nf