Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-12-03
THE SICK BACHELOR,

Here lam, doomed man-booked for fe-
yer, in this gloomy room, up four flights of
stairs; nothing to look at but one table, two
charles, and cobweb, pulse racing like loco
motive; head throbbing as if it were looped
with iron, mouth as parched as Ishmeals in
the desert, and bell-rope within reach, sun
pouring in through those uncurtained windows,
hot enough to SINCE off my eyelas hes: all my
confidential letters lying loose on the table, and
couldn't get up to them if you held one of
Colts revolvers to my head. All my masculine
friends { y are parading Broadway, I suppose,
peeping under the pretty girls, bonnets, or drink
ing sherry cobblers." A sherry cobbler! Bac-
chus, what a luxury believe. Satan suggested
the thought to me. & &t -
Heigho! suppose the Doctor whom they have
sent for will come before long; some great
prompOus Esculapias, with an owl phiz a gold
headed cane, an oracular voice and callous beard
and hands, who will first manipulate my wrist
and than take the latitude of my tongue; tn en-
he will punch me in the ribs, and torment me
with more questions than there are in the As
semhly's catechism; then he'll bother me for
writing materials; to scratch off a hieroglyphic
humbug prescription, ordering five times as much
medicine as need, then shall have to pay for
it, then ten to one the apothecary's boy will put
up poison by mistake Cesar, how my head
to it. ...- 80 NJ
Hist! there's the doctor. No! is it that lit
tie unregenerate cub, my landlady's pet boy,
with bran new drum as I'm sinner, upon
which he is beating crucifying tattoo, If l
only had bootjack to throw at him. No! that
won't do; his mother wouldn't make my Cruel.
I'll bride him with a sixpence to keep the peace.
The little embryo Jew he says he won't do it
under a quarter! Twitted by little pianfore
l. Tom Halliday, six feet in my stockings shall
60 frantic .r ...
doctor is coming!" Well, let him come I'm
as savage as if I'd just dined off cold Mission
airy. Ell pretend to be asleep, and let old Pill
box experiment. a+ E.s-
How gently he treads, how soft his hand is {:
how cool and delicious his touch! How ten
derby he parts my hair over my throbbing tenn
pies His magnetic touch thrills every drop of
blood in my veins, it is marvellous how soothing
it is. l feel as happy as a humming bird in a
lily eup, dfowsey with honey dew. Now he's
moved away. hear him writing a prescription.
I'll just take peep and see ahat he looks like
Caesar Agripina if it insn't Female Physician
fair as a Peri-and my beard three days old /!
What a bust! Wonder how my hair looks
What q foot and ankle What shoulders; what
little round waist Fever? I've got twenty
fevers, and the heart complaint besides. What
the mischief sent that little witch here! She
will either kill or cure me pretty quick.
Wonder if she has any more masculine pa
TENTS Wonder if they are handsome? Wonder
if she lays tina. little dimpled hand on their fore
head as she did on mine ? Now she has dene
writing, TIL shut my eyes and groan, and then
may be, she will pet me some more; bless her
little soule .a5 "a x5xIGA# 4s@5.@.5s
She says, poor fellow as she holds my wrist,
his nI11Sn ia fnn nuiek - Tn fhn nana nf Cnni1
what does she expect? She says as she pats
my forehead with her little plump fneers, 'sSh-
sh? Keep cool" Lava and birthstone? does
she take me for an iceberg ?,sa8 5s= 8gaH
Oh, Cupids! of all your devices, this feminine
doctoring for bachelor, is the ne pulse ultra of
witchcraft. If don't have prolonged "run
of fever" my name isn't Tom Halliday!
She's gore and Il m gone too !
liz. FAysy FERN.