The weekly Placer herald., 1853-04-16
VARIETIES. Y

n,ent seated himself by the s,.te IF "a deaf
Old w0nan, when this conversation en-
sued: Clergyman (~houting): .'How old
are you my good nadam" Woman:
Eighty eight year o d, come last Mayn
Clergyman (ina sad tone): Eighty Eight
years old Before eighty eight years shall
have passed over me, shall be food for
worms = Old Won,n { horrified } ::
tWorms, did YOU say? Are you troubled
With EN-? never know'd grow dup
mlen-f0lks To have 'e,n badn ! he C err
gytnan was observed To come away very
suddenly after that question and answer
tN Knickerbocker.
In Cincinnati almost every portion Of
she hog is put to some valuable use. A
distinguished philosophers of that city is
now trying some method of turning the
squea. to account.
An inveterate old smoker objects to the
annexation of Cuba, because "when the
islands, once Yankee, we can get no more
Spanish cigarsr
The happiest man in the world-a mig
ner at a dance
A Western paper says that vegetation
is so scarce at Cape Cod, that two mu len
stalks and huckIeberry bush is called Il
grove.
On the eastern shore of Maryland dor
hicks the size Of hens eggs are called rocks.
An Cd fogey in New Hampshire was
recently overtaken by a 'train of thought
Through skIlt'ul medical treatment it is
hoped he may survive the shock.
There is cheap kind of cigars made
8 IN uba by women in the country, who
roll them on their naked knees, which
some rank old smokers prefer to any other
OF ! me anchoIy sights, bach lor's
home Is the most so. A house without ii
woman, is like the world without Il sky,
or sky without star-dark, desolute,
and dreary.-We deny the corn!
When Adam got tired naming his nu-
merous descendants, he said, Let the rest
he called Smith.
II is. curious with what moral fortitude
men can always bear with the misfortunes
Of others.
Important to Married .Men.-The Troy
Budget says that lady lost the use of her
tongue for near week the other day,
from eating too many tomatoes. The
prize of this indispensable vegetable wi J.,
no doubt, rise in consequence.
o.. II Good One.-A little girl of this city
had been taught Ivy her Sabbath School
teacher that God made man out of the
dust of the earth. The nculcation of
this Bible doctrine seems to have given
her IN nd rather IA practical turn, and big
with the idea, she addressed her mother
on her return from the Sabbath School:
"Ma, has God any more dust iefii'
"Why my daughter-why do you ask
such Il question:"
"Because, if he has, want him to
make me titite 6rotherw
Ioor tn'hg! Other little girls had bro
shers to play with; but she had none--and
was therefore unhappy.
This is no fcion-having actually oc-
Cured in this city few days since.
.af Ne,c Albany Tribune
An o'd lady once said, that her idea of
great man was, Ga man who was keer
full of his clothes, didn't drink speerits.
KIN read the Bible without spelling the
words, and kin eat II cold dinner on wash
day, to save the wilnInen folks the trouble
Of cooking"
rustic belle, who came tripping into
the house one evening from the fie DIS,
was told by her city cousin that she looked
Us fresh a. daisy kissed with dew.
"Well, it WASN'T any fellow of that
name, hut Bill Jones, thar kissed me; and
conf"und his pictur', told him everybody
would find it out"
Baeneiors q Bad Way.-Among the
bills recent y introduced into the Indiana
legislature, we notice the fo lowing:
"By Mr.. Mcdonald, of L.: Bill to