Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-07-09
Fern Leaves.

CHI Leaves.
BABY carts on narrow sidewalks are
awful bores, especially to a hurried business
man,
IRE they? Suppose you and certain
pair OF blue eyes, that you would give hall
your patrimony to win, were Joint proprietors
of that baby! | shouldn't dare to stand
Gerry near you and call it "a nuisance Its
all very well for bachelors to turn up their
SINGLE blessed noses at these little dimpIed
cupids, but just wait tilltheir time comes See
/em the minute their name is written 'spap''
pull up their dickies, and strut off down the
street, as It the Commonwealth owed them
pension! When they enter the office. see
their old married partner Ito whom babies
nave long since ceasedAto be a novelty
laugh In his sleeves at the new-fedged
dignity with which that baby's advent is
announced! How perfectly astonished they
feel that they should have been SO infatuated
as not TO perceive that "a man is perfect
CIPHER till he is at the head ola family
How frequently one may see them now,
looking iarat the shop.windows, with in
terest, at little hats, coral beads and bells,
and baby jumpers. Now they love 10 come
home to dinner, and press that little velvet
cheek to their business faeesk Was there
ever any music half w sweet to their ear
as lsfrst lssped ''papasp Oh, how closely
ndimpreceptibly, one BY one, that little
plant winds its tedrils round the parent
stem! How anxionsly they hang over its
cradle when the cheeks fnshes and the lip
is fever parched and how widesand deep
and long shadow in their happy home lis
little grave would cast! 8
My dear, sir, depend upon it, ones oar,s
baby is never "a auisa,ec." Love heralds
its birth.
FEMALE WArTERs-GSome of our leading
hoteEkeepers are considering the policy of
employ ing female waiters.n
Good news for you, poor pale faced semp-
stresses! Throw your thimbIes at the
heads OF your penurious employers; put on
your sneatest and p}aanest Dress see that
your feet and fingers are immaculate, and
then rush en- masse for the situation, ousting
every white jacket in Yankeedom. Stipu-
late with your employer. for leave to carry
III the pocket of your French apron, pistol
loaded with cranberry sauce, to plaster up
the mouth of the first coxcomb who aeensid-
ers it necessary to preface his request for
an omelet, with My DEAR Should he
close his impertinenta fingers necessarily
over your digits, when you are handing him
a cup OF coffee, you can very quietly tip the
contents in his vest and shirt bosom; apollo
giving for the same with as much gravity
as you can muster. Ii is my opinion one
such hint will be sufficient; if not, you can
vary the order of exercises by amounting
him with shasty plate of soup" at dinner.
Always make moustache wait twice as
long as yon do a man who wears clean.
presentable lip Should he undertake to
expedite your slippers by "a fee,' tell him
that hotel bills are generally settled at the
clerks Office, except by very vcrdant trav-
e|ers.
Should you see female al the table, dig
ging down to the bottom of the salt-celler,
ing ninety-nine messes, turning aside from
each with affected airs of disgast,) OF roll
ing up the whites of her eyes, declaring
before minus finger glasses" You may be
sure that her aristocratic blood is nourished,
It home, on herrings and brown bread.
When masculine comes in with white
rest, ffashy neck-ie, extraordinary looking
'lald trousers, several yards OF gold chain
estooned over his breast-work. and a man,
moth seal ring on his little finger, you may
De sure that his tailor and his laundress are
both on the anxious seat; and whenever
you see the travellers of either sex PEREZ
yrinating the country in their 's5est bib and
ucker,n you can set them down for unmiti-
gated ssnobs," for the quality can't afford
% be so extravagant!
dare say you'll get sick Of SO much pre-
ension and humbug. Never mind, it is
better than to be stitching yourselves into
over sixpenny shirts; you'll
nave your fun out of it. This would be
lorrid stupid world if euery body aras sensible.
thank my stars every day. for the share
If fools a kind Providence sends in my way:
but if your feet ache too excrutiatingiy,
stand behind their chairs-just lend me your
French apron and slippers, and see how IN
serve up the "saace" to their dishes, and
'pill things over by accident, when they
ion't behave themselves. If can't teach
hem good manners, in the cracking of an
sggshell, they will be the first of my pupils
Who ever graduated ounces. FANNY FERN.
/, m. Tsr,-...o. ~ n.u CI-....