davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28
THE POCKET-KNIFE.
BY REV. ]. PIERpoNT.

The Yankee boy, before he's sent to school,
Well knows the mysteries OF that magic tool,
The PocKET-kNIFE. To that his wistful eve
Turns, while he hears his mothers lullaby
His boarded cents he gladly gives to get it,
Then leaves no stone unturned till he can whet it;
And in the education of the lad,
No little part that instrument hath had
This pocket-knife to the young whittier brings,
A growing knowledge of material things;
Proectiles, music, and the scuptor's art
His chestnut whistle, and his shingle dart,
His elder pop-gun with its hickory rod,
Its sharp explosion and rebounding wad
His corn-staik fiddle, and the deeper tone
That murmurs from his pumpkin-leaf trombone,
Conspire to teach the boy. To these succeed
His bow, his arrow of teathered reed,
His Windmill raised the passing breeze to win,
His water-wheel that turns upon pin;
Or if his father lives upon the shore,
You'll see his ship "beam ends upon the hoor.''
Full rgged, with raking masts, ,and timbers staunch
And waiting, near the wash-tub, for launch!
Thus by his genius and his jack-knife driven,
Ere long he'll solve you ai,y problem given;
Make any gim-craek, musical or mute,
A ploug h. coach, an organ, or flute;
Make you a locomotive or clock
Cut canal, OF build floating dock
Or lead forth beauty from marble block;
Make anything in short for sea or shore,
From child's rattle to seventy-four: .rf
Make it, said Il Ay, when he undertakes it,
He'll make the thing and the machine that
makes it.
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

Swift and his Servant.

Dean Swift while Oh journey, and stop
ping at q tavern, desired his servant John,
twho, by the way, was rs eccentric rs his
MASTERY to bring MIN his boots John
brought up the boots III the same state as
they were taken Of the evening previous.
Why didn't you polish my boots T''..said
the Dean.
There's no use in polishing them" said
the man, for they would soon be dirty
again
Every true, said the Dean. and he put
On the boots Immediately after, he went
down TO the lanilady, and told her On no
account to give Iii servant any break
fast The Dean breaklasted and then or
dered the horses ont. A H. was ready
TO start. John ran to him in a great hurry,
and said uW
"Mr Dean, 4 havn't got my breakfast
yet"
oh" replied the witty divine, "thercts
no use in your hreakfasting, for you would
soon bc hungry again
John, finding his theory thrown back on
himself, submitted to the privation with the
same stoicisn A. did his master with his
boots. On they rode, the Dean in front
reading his prayer book, and tile man behind
At a respectful distance. when they were met
BY gentleman, who, after cycling the Dean
very closely, accosted the servant with
IA say, my man, you and your master
seem to bc sober pair; may / ask who
you are, and where You are goingar
We're going to Heaven" replied John
my masters prayinr, and I'm fasting"
Tie gentleman looked again in wonder
ment at the master and man. and then rode
off
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28
A HypOchOndriac.

In the upper part of Locust street, SAYS
the Philadelphia Mercury, ? resides an un-
fortunate man. named Mason G. Hoyt, who
is afflicted with that frightfuI disease, called
Hypochondrla, under the influence of which
he Is deluded with the curious idea, that he
has been changed into water-jar, a misap-
prehension which led to some little dispute
between him and a watchman, at eleven
O'Clock on Saturday night. The watchman
passing along Third street, ner Pear st. saw
man sitting under the spout of pump
which is located at the intersection of those
two streets ss.i ,---,5.,. .fr ..i..s-s -.
What are you doing there r. said the
watchman. eu
Il want to be filed" answered the meek
and lowly individual. who was no other than
Mr. Hoyt i5....5
Filled with what" demanded the watch
man. ssossss ess s nass 5,.--r.
"Filled with water" replied Mr.. Hoyt
81 guess you haven't room for much of
thatfhere, = observed the watchman, ..you re
full to the muzzle already, of something
little stronger
Il ha'nt got a drop inside of me- re-
piled Hoyt, "and III take off my lid to
prove it, SO saying, he removed his cloth
cap, and desired the watchman to look in,
and assure himself that the vessel was per-
fectly empty - ~ .,..f.s..'
.,. Il don't see how I'm to tell that by look
ing at the top of your head. was the watch
mans very sensible observation. .f....
Put your hand down then, and feel,"'
suggested Hoyt. - &c. ~ ~ -
- II
mans drunk, by feeling the outside of his
knowledge box, muttered the watchman
q Then turn me upside down" said Hoyt,
and if single spoonful runs out. I'll give
you leave to sell me to second hand crock
cry store; but take care you don't break
me-"
Break you. oh dear. don't be afraid
of that. you look like you were past break
ing, and | guess you went to eternal smash
long ago, ,l,.. +. -.-..
Il swear said Hoyt solemnly, II ha'nt
got crack in me, and if you don mind
how you handle me you'll have to pay dam
ages. Take notice, there never was piece
of stone ware sounder than / am at pre-
sent"
Stone ware! faith, I took you to be
hardware" said the watchman "but who
soever you are. you're wanted at the perleesc
Office" $3.50. -..s- ..t
Il don't believe it." said the monoman-
ac. what do those red-nosed policemen
want with a qcatcr-iar? If L were a demi-
John of Cognlac, now, they might be glad
to get hold of me-"
And, sure enough, when this, interesting
piece of erockery was taken to the police
office, and proved to be only cold-water
vessel. he was dismissed with contemptuous
Indifference 90 ieA 9hI tHw i
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

XANKEE DooDLE--Thc national air Of
the United States was composed hundred
years ago by DR. Shackburg- physician Of
ministry made overtures to reduce the
French power IN Canada, and the colonists
were called upon for assistance who, with
alacrity rendered faithful service The
British army lay encamped little south Of
the city rf Albany, and In the early part Of
June. 1853. the Eastern troops begun to
pour in Their march, their accoutrements,
and the whole arrangement Of their troops,
furnished matter Of amusement to the Brit
ish Then it was that the Doctor composed
the tune. and recommended it to the officers
A. celebrated air. The joke took, and In
few days nothing was heard in the pro-
vincial camp but Yankee Doodle
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

CocKNEYlsM.-E Every man, who has not
lived in the city, has observed that there i
a verdancy of the town which i rs deep as
the grccenness of the country, and good
deal more amusing A diverting illustration
of this is shown in the anecdote of the Lon
don cockney also, never having been out Of
"the sound of Bow bells" before. who es-
corted lady to the observatory at Cam
bridge, to see an eclipse that was announced
in the papers to be visible at certain hour.
The cockney driving rather slow, the Ia
dy expressed fear that they would be too
late to see the occutation %, never mind
replied the beau, with charming naivctte,
s'if we should happen to be tardy, the pro
fessor who is friend Of mine, will just 20
through the thing again N An instance
scarcely less amusing occurred at Hartford,
Conn, not many months ago. An Oxford
student, who was making visit to Trinity
College, on looking with great admiration
at the rural beauties Of the town and neigh
borhood, observed, to one Of the professors
with delighted amazement, '' You have
scenery in America" Well-we have
some-that's certain-and so the professor
assured him .'aa Boston Post. wv
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

SAGAcIrY OF A DoG.--The Albany Knick-
booker gives an account Of dog belonging
To one of it, carriers The carrier falling
sick, sent ont boy to deliver the papers,
who. being unacquainted with the round,
was accompanied by the dog, who stopped
at the door Of ever subscriber, and wagged
hi tail, never missing one In list Of SIX
hundred. AT the door Of al subscribers
who had not paid for their paper for a length
Of time, the dog was heard to howl and a.
the doors Of those who had paid In advance,
he wagged his tail maiestically three times,
up and down. and with look Of evident
satisfaction walked away
There would be some bowling If that dog
accompanied ony carrier.
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28
sloth one Of the Deadly sins.

The whole structure of our nature. and
the whole condition Of ohr being, prove that
our Maker intended Us not for |, life Of IN
dolence, but of active eAertion. All The or
gans of the body. and All the faculties Of
the mind, are instruments Of action, and are
to be employed in the vigorous pursuit Of
happiness. Il is only by constant exercise
that these powers can be preserved in a
sound aud healthful state liz the body be
suffered to remain inactive, it viii lose its
strength and become pray 10 disease al
the same time, the mental faculties will be
gradually enfecbled. aud tire wirUfe fairlc
of human happiness be undermined by
frettulness and spleen. 1t is, on the contra
ry, a matter OF constant experience, that a
regular course of bodily exercise i condu-
Give TO health, exhilcrates the spirit, and
contributes to the easy and successful en-
ployment of intellectual powers Frequent
application of the mind to study establishes
a habit of thinking which renders it easy
and pleasant to engage in any kind Of sci
entific or literary pursuit. As the earth, if
it be industriously cultivated, will produce
fruits in rich abundance. but if suffered to
lie long untitled, will be ovcrrun with weeds,
which will be rank in proportion to the
richness of the soil o the human mind
if cultivated with great assidnity will
yieldsa plentiful harvest Of knowledge and
wisdom, but if neglected, will soon be over
spread with the weeds Of error and folly,
and the poisonous weeds will spring ur il
the greatest abundance in the minds which
are by nature capable Of producing the
most excellent fruits To mind thus cor
rupted by Incidence, the words Of Solomon
may be-applied II went BY the field Of
the slothful and BY the vineyard Of the man
void of understanding, and 10. it was al
grown over with thorns, and ncttlcs had COW
cred the face thereof" The unqucstiona
bic truth is, that man is made for action
and his faculties. like metallic instruments,
if they be not polished with using will De
consumed with the rust Of incidence.
ENFIELD
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

MANNERS AND CUsToMs OF MORMON
PREAcHERs.-Thc Boston Herald. in an
nouncing the death Of Elder g. Adams, a
Mormon Preacher. says :-"On bis second
visit to Boston, the Elder preached, baptized
converts. whippeda newspaper editor, and
played a star engagement at the National
Theatre. lie was industrious and filed up
all his time We have a fund Of anecdotes
concerning this strange mortal. which we
shall be glad to print at some other time
We close this article By briefly advcrting to
the chastisement he gave an editor for
strongly eriticising bis performance of Rich
ard Ill. The office of the editor was in
Washington street. where Propeller now
keeps, Adams armed himself with COW
hide, and watched his victim Soon The
unsuspecting fellow come down stairs and
Adams sprang upon him, excaiming, The
Lord has delivered thee into my hands and
shall give thee forty stripes, save one,
Scripture measure. Brother Graham. keep
tally SO saying. he proceeded to lay on
the punishment with hearty goodwill. Tn
the meantime a large crowd had gathered
around the avenging priest and the delin-
quent. When the tally was up, Adams left
the man and addressed the crowd as follows:
Men and brothers, my name il Elder
George 6. Adams, preacher Of the eveilast-
ing gospel l have chastiscd my enemy
| 90 this afternoon to fulfil MI engagement
at the Providence Theatre, where shall play
one of Shakspeare's immortal creations. i
return TO this city at the end Of the week
and will by Divine permission, preach three
times next Sabbath on the immortality Of
the soul, the eternity Of matter. and in an
swer to the question. Who is the Devil ?''
May grace and peace always be with you.
Amen' a" 375GtiUa H yl4 N' nH
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28


NOVEL USE OF A KIss.-A kiss, ever
since the days of Adam, has been token
of friendship but, alas it has served
traitors purpose in some cases. as may be
seen from the following e3 $3.50
A gent not many miles from Shippens-
burg, returning from sleigh ride. on ar
irving at the paternal mansion of his lady
gave and received kiss of friendship, as be
supposed; but, alas the sequel will show
how much he was mistaken, for the door be-
ing closed he overheard the following con-
versation
HtsWby Lucy amt you ashamed to kiss
| man out there all alone by himself? When
was a girl wouldn't have done it for the
world" ~ .ss 5y9A sFh d
ssNo mamma, am not, answered Lucy,
s'for 1 only kissed him to tell by his breath
| if he had been drinking
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

A young man about to be married, pre-
sented himself to the priest for confession.
AS he appeared rather embarrassed, and
did not know how to proceed to enumerate
his errors;
+ aCome, +" said the father kindly. ''do you
ever tell falsehoods % 2a t4a 9a3
"Father, I am not lawyer proudly re-
piled the man.
s'Did you ever steal - &
"Father, [ am not merchant"
ssYou have not committed murder - r.
II am a doctor, conscientiously re-
piled the penitent. casting down his eyes.
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

GA dozen children may seem large FAM
lily with our folks, who are moderate, re-
marked Mrs Partingion, ''but my poor dear
husband used to tell story of woman IN
some part of the world where he stopped
one night, who had nineteen children IN flve
years. or five children in nineteen years.
l don't recollect which, but | remember 1t
was one or t'other.''
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28
Providence Illustrated.

Old mother Bender was pious, but poor.
In the midst of her extreme want her trust
and confidence was in God 1t was late
one chilly night, in Autumn of the year,
that two rather wild young men were pass
ing near her little cottage on their way
home One of them had under his arm
some loaves of bread which he had procur-
ed at the village store. A faint light flick
cred from mother Bender's easement Said
the one who had the loaves, to his compan-
ion
"Let us have some fun with the old wo-
man T-.f --l4
agreed said the other.
They approached the house, and peeping
in at the window, saw the old lady upon
her knees by the hearth, where few en-
bers were smouldering in the ashes. She
was engaged in prayer. They listened aud
heard her offering earnest petitions for bread
She was entirely destitute of food. In fur
therancc of their fun. the one of them with
the loaves climbed softly up to the low roof
of. the cottage and drcpped one loaf after
the other down the chimney. As they rolled
out upon the hearth they caught the old la
rdys eye. and in the fullness of her heart she
exclaimed yq s,r.t.s.f .r,,-isaI Is "a a. ..air
Thank the Lord-bless the Lord for his
bounty - a7sfsgn 81 rsT 4, 4.rgais
but the Lord didn't send them" shout
ed voice down the chimney r4.'fas4
Yes he did, she cried undaunted, ''the
Lord sent them, but the devil brought
| them" M ef el.Bfsf 7lI-4asI vaZ
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

FIRST LovE.-She put down her veil
again Immediately, her lips moved involun-
tarily a. She lowered IT, thought I conld
see through the lace that the slight move
ment ripened to a smile Still there was
enough left 70 look on--enough to charm
There was the little rim Of delicate white lace,
encircling the lovely, dusky throat there
was the figure visible where her shawl had
fallen open, slender, but already well devel-
oped in il slenderness, and cxquisitcly sup
pie there was the waist, naturally low,
and left to its natural place and natural size;
there were the little millinery and jcweiry
ornaments that Size wore, simple and COM
mon-place enough in themselves yet each
beauty, each treasure on her There was
all this. to behold, All this to dwell on, in
spite Of the veil The veil. how. little Of
the woman does it hide when man really
loves her COZlin's Basil.
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

a certain Sunday school teacher was in
the practice Of taking up collection in his
juvenile class for missionary objects every
Sunday; and his box received scores Of
pennies which might otherwise have found
their way to the drawers If the confectioner
and toy man. lie was not little surprised
however. one Sunday. to find bank bill
crushed in among tile weight Of copper
Tie was not long in finding it to Be Of a
broken bank and on asking the class who
put it there, the donor was soon pointed
out to him hy bis classmates, who had seen
him deposit TX, and thought il very benev-
olcnt rift.
Didn't you know this bill was good for
nothing ?" said the teacher
Yes answered the boy
Then. what did you put It in the box
for ?"
II didn't s'pose the attic heathens' m
would know the difference, and 50 1t would
be just n good for them H a
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

BE CLEAN.-Tbere is nothing like soap
and water. Health, decency. and every
other consideration requires the human sys-
tenn to be pure and clean. No man or wo-
man can be good and yirtuous, unless their
BODY, as we'll as their mind, is kept pure
and undefled An habitually filthy person
can no more be Christian, than a blasphe
mer or thief There was much.sense in a
remark once made by friend never can
feel at rest, [ never can feel that | have
done my duty, unless by body is clean;
for am believer of the Holy Book, and
it says, .ye are the temples of the Living
God (" Not only is cleanliness necessary
to bodily health, but also to healthful ac-
ton of the mental faculties. He therefore
is philanthropist who extols soap and wa
ter. gHs Il 5l s -se|- li
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

The pimples on toper's face, observes
Will Wiurow) are an old-fashioned sort Of
spiritual manifestations. They cannot be
said to come exactly from beyond the grave.
but they show clearly that the medium
is hurrying himself toward the grave.
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28
Spiritual Music.

We have I'd record another instance of
remarkable spiritual power Miss CALPnuR-
MA O WHITETHoRN Of Adrian, Mich, d
young lady only il years Of age, plays the
piano and mclodeon while under spiritual
control and direction. We haze heard her
and must say that the music il of very
high order. We 10 profess to know some
thing Of music. and IN our innocence sup
posed that We had occasionally heard good
music. but after hearing this music We were
obliged to admit that We never listened To
such harmonious music elsewhere. a. this
which currr-r Profs--rccify ftJm TN spirits.
Miss Whircthorn was first moved to play
ia February last She had fur some 3
months previous been q writing medium, but
had never written to any great extent
Since the spirits commenced their discipline
Of moving her hands to play, shc has often
at at the instrument. and without looking
at the keys. drawn forth such sweet music
o. to surprise and delight those who hear
The movements Of her hands are involunta-
ry, and at times Of extreme rapidity
Many that are good musicians including
some teachers, have admitted their surprise
at the phenomena. and confessed their ina
bility to execute such rapid and difficult
changes and variations. or play such sweet
concordant music VIC have repeatedly
listened to the living music, (for in compar-
ison common music il dead and have new
er heard the least discord. but all harmonises
and blends in a remarkable manner We
look upon Miss Whitethorn n an excellent
medium, and hope that the kind spirits that
control her, will continue their hallowed and
sanctifying Influences until she becomes an
efficient instrument in their great work
Of rcgenerating the world from in to holi-
ness, fiom discord 70 perfect happiness
CIcrciand Spiritudl TnircrSe.
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

COULDN'T BE CHokED oFF.-Thc Clinton
Courant tells a story Of o rural philosopher.
who had somewhat advanced in years with
out learning much Of the mysteries Of na-
turc. What knowledge the old gentleman
had cleaned was entirely independent scr
ence. lie did not know whether micro
scope was something to eat Or new fan
gled farming machine a young friend,
fresh from school, once paid him visit, and
very anxious to enli ghsan the old man
on the wonders Of the microscope, spec-
men Of which he Carried about him. While
the old philosopher was making frugal
meal in the fald lie explained it, operation,
which he illustrated by exhibiting it, power
upon several bugs and divers minute atoms
Of animate matters at hand. 10 his sur
prise, the aged pupil did not manifest much
establishment, and stung IN lii Indifference
he detailed to him how many scores Of liv-
ing creatures he devourcd az every mouth
ful, and in each drop which quenched hi
thirst. AT this his hearcr was skepticle !;
to prove the fact the boy snatched from hi
hand a chunk Of rich cheese which he was
then devouring, and placing it under the
magnifier the mass Of wriggling animalcu-
lse was triumphantly pointed out
l The old man gazed upon the sight indif-
ferently aud at length. with utmost noncha-
lance, took another huge bite
Don't exclaimed Tie boy don't You
see 'em. See EN- squirm an wrigglen' N
Let 'em wrigele II said the old philoso-
pher, munching away calmly, they've got
the worst ont If they kin STAN it kin III
and he deliberately finished his meal.
Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28

Exit Miss Jane to the nursery, to listen
to Katy's and her friend Bridget's account
of successful firtations with John O'Calll-
gan and Michael O'Donahue.
FANNY FERN.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1853-12-31
a Blessed MARTYR.

he history Of mart, r,ium contains no NOR,
tourhln" story than that Gwen in the follow
In% paragraph from the Madison. Indiana.
i'aIiy Argus. oil December l.. Ii cannot h..
read without tears and >wrllin" heart The.
facts are sad TO have been established l., in
dIclal investigation, and were related lv n.
prr>idin" Judge:
y beautiful, t;,ir-harrd. blnc eyed lo, =,
bout nm" years OF a-c was taken from the Or
Pian Asylum in Milwaukee,. and ADOPTED by
a respectable farmer OF Marquette. professor
OF religion and mcmbvr of the Baptist per
sui'>''n \ girl. little older than III. ho,
was also adopted INTO The same family. Soo,
alter these children were installed j., ,h.;r
new home, the boy discovered criminal ,,n
duct on the part Of his new mother which !.
mentioned TO the little gi,l. AMI il ,I,.r.h,.
came to the ears Of TIE woman. H.. ;..r
ia"'Iy denied the story 10 the >ati>t;,c,;or -,
her husband, and insisted that the boy ,bo,ld
ne whipped until he confessed the f,I~,booa
"e man poor weak h-o,- imprl!cd }A :,
sense Of religious duty, p.evcc,!cd 10 H.. ,,I
aS>l:"ed him, by procnrin. bund}. Of ro11,
,"'pi""S he enid haA,d and s,,>,endinc
nm bE accord to the ralirr, Of .h.. hon. =
""'!!ih4 INN at intcr,a! for over I'VE ho,r,
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1853-12-31

till the blood rar through the floor, maxim
Il POOL upon the floor ic!ow: stopping only
to intcrro.ate The boy, and @et,in. no other
reply than Pa, told the truth cannot
tell he" the woman all the time ur.in- him
to do l::s duty" Til" poor little hero, at
length released from his torture, threw hi>
arms around the ncri, OF his tormcn,or. kiss
ed him. and said Pa ! am 20 cold, and died!
1t appeared in evidence ;:ro; the trial OF this
man and woman icr murder, that the child
did tell the truth and Suffered death 10y >lo'c
torturc rather than tell Il IL. The ace Of he
roi>m and OF mart,rdom viii la; have passed
till mothers cease to insult holy prcccPts into
thu minds Of ,i.cir offspring, The man ani
woman nho murdered this an@cl-rhild arr
mow III The prnitcn'iary al Waurun, 10 which
they were sentenced tol ten wears.