Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1853-06-17


.c,nigaI satricai sketch by the late Edgar A Poe,
Bee = o as1ire to the distinction of Lionshlp WIN
thosS like those of the hero introduced, read ana
W. bv it. 1t will further their designs no d0u0'
Lionizlng.
all people went
on their ten toes in wonaertnept; :bo ou,s Sotirs
,,m-that is to say tbas-a great man Dut !
an ithor the anthor of Junius, nor the man IN the
sifFn nr NV name believe, is Robert jones' and
o'sh horn somewhere in the city of Fun Fudge,
Tbo FIRST action of my life was the taxing nolo .;
lno nth both hands. My mother saw this ana
III IT, no genius my father wept tor JOY; ana
7heu ntod me with treatise NosOlogy Ihls
tered before | was breeched
T,~ beran to feel my way 10 the SCIENCE and
I "oa to understand that provided man hao a
XIV" efficiently conspicuous, he might, oy me[ety
'l|7 go: + arrive at Li0nship. But my attention
dl0" w. confined to theories alone. Every morning
vas NV nroboscis couple of pulls and swallowed
LaIf dozen of drains.
H Wbon came of age my father asked me, one day
IF ,rnnId step with him into his study
. NV son" SAID he, when we were seated '"haC
tho chief end of your existence : ~
My father, answered, 1T is the study OF NO.
And what. Robert, he inquired, lis NosoogyE
:. Sir ;, said, it is the science of Noses"
. And can you tell me' he demanded, = what is
Tho meaning of nose q
y, A nose my father replied greatly softened,
has been variously defined by about thousand
sFsrcnt authors" THere pulled out my watch
In is now noon or thereabouts-we shall have time
ret through with them all before midnight. 10
nmmence then The nose, according to barthcll
ms is that protuberance- bump-that ezceFeS
eence--that -.
VIII do, Robert" interrupted the s""u oaf gen.
laD,ar. " am thundcrstruck at the extent OF your
frn,at ion-I am postively--upon my soul" Here
~ closed his eyes aud placed his hand upon his
s.ort7 Come here" Here he took me by the
avn q Your education may now be considered as
eis6ed-it is high time you should scut1e Tor your
.ef-and you cannot DO better thing than merely
allow your se-so-so-so.' Here he kicked me
dawn stairs and out of the door - so get out of my
bouse and God bless you !"
As felt within me the divine afotus, consider
ol this accident rather fortunate than otherwise
resolved to be guided by the paternal advice de-
termined to follow my gave it pull or two
mon the spot, and wrote pamphlet on Nosology
Crthwith.
All Fun Fudge was in an uproar.
Wonderful genius !" said the Quarterly.
" Superb psychologist :" said the Westminster.
Clever fellow b said the Foreign;
Fine writer I" said the Edinburgh.
Profound thinker - said the Dublin.
Great man !" said Bentley.
Divine soul - said Fraser.
One of us - said Blackwood.
Who can he be o. said Mrs. Bias Bleu.
what can he be " said big Miss Bass-BIeu.
"Where can he be 2" said little Miss Bias Bleau.
But paid these people attention whatever--I
ut stepped into the shop of an artist.
The Duchess of Bless my-SOul was sitting for her
5ortrait the Marquis of So and-So was holding the
Duchess pooIle the Earl of This-and-T That was
irting with her salts and his Royal Highness of
Touch Not was leaning upon the back of her
clair.
approached the artist and turned up my nose.
ooh, beautiful y sighed her Grace
"0h, my !" lisped the Marquis
Oh, shocking!' groaned the Earl.
"Oh, abomnable !" growled his Royal Highness.
What will you teke for it z" asked the artist.
For his nose % shouted her Grace.
"A thousand pounds,' said I, sitting down
"a thousand pounds p inquired the artist, mu-
sngy.
A thousand pounds" said |.
Beautiful !" said he, entranced.
81 thousand pounds" said /.
Do you warrant it o. he asked, turning the nose
othe light.
IL do" said I, blowing it we'll.
Us it quite original ?" he inquired, touching i
with reverence.
~Ilumph" said I, twisting it to one side
Has no copy been taken % he demanded, sur
uyng it through microscope.
None" said |, turning it up.
lbmirabien ~ he calculated, thrown quite off hi
guard by the beauty Of the man@uvre.
A thousand pounds said l.
"A thousand pounds 2" said he.
Precisely" said |.
"a thousand pounds % said he.
Just so,' said I.
You shall have Them" said he. "What piece
Of vrtur SO he drew me a check upon the spot
and took sketch of my nose. [ engaged rooms il
ermyn- street, and sent her Majesty the ninety
edition of the Nosology,' with portrait of tn
proboscis That sad little rake the Prince of Wales
invited me to dinner.
We were all lions and recherCleS.
There modern Platonist. He quoted Por
phyry Lamblicus PIotinus, Proclus Hierocles, Max
mus Tyrius, and Syrianus.
There was a human perfectblity He quo
ted Ihurgot, Price, Priestiy, Condorcet, De Stael
and the 'Ambitous STUDENT in i'll Health"
There Sir Positive Paradox. He observed
that all fools philosophers, and that all philos
pherS We're fools.
There was Kstheticus Ethix. He spoke of fire
unity. and atoms hipart and eexistent soul al
unity and diScord; primitive intelligence and homo
meria.
There was TheoIogos Theology Ee talked o
tuSebius and Arianus; hereSy and the Council o
Nee; Puseyism and cOnsubstantiaiism Homouslo
and tIomOuoisiOs.
There was Fricassoo from the Rocher de Cancale
he mentioned Nutrition of red tongue; caulifower
With Uei0ute sauce; veal Ia st. MenehOult; mari
llde la st. Florentin and orange jelies moSa'
There was Bibulus OBumper. He touched upo'
1atour and Markbrumen; upon Mousseux and Cham
9frtin; upon Richbourg and ST. George; upon Hau
oaon LeonviIle and Medoc; upon Barac and Preig
nae; upon Grave, upon Sauterne, upon Lahtte an
upon st. Peray. He shook his head at Clos de You
6eo' and told with his eyes shut, the difference be
tween Sherry and AmontilIado.
mere was Signor TintontintinO, from Florence
nc dISeoursed of Cimabue Arpino, Carpaccio, an
IgoStno-of the gloom of Caravaggio, of the amen