The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1853-10-20

both of them designs upon the Legislature.
Jones lad bad wife, and was in love with
a pretty woman--he wished to be divorc-
ed from the bad wife, so that he might,
marry the pretty woman, who, by the by
was widow, with black eyes and such.ai
bust! Therefore Jones came to Trenton
for divorce. Smith had a good wife,
plump as a robin, good as an angel, and
the mother of ten children, and Smith did
not want a divorce, but did want to get a
charter for turnpike, orplank road to ex-
Etend from Pigs Run to Terrapin Hollow.
We'll, they with these different errands,l
came to Trenton and addressedithe assem-
bled wisdom with the usual arguments
1st Suppers, mainly composed of oys-l
ters, with rich back groundo steak and
venison: isaab ariml9i9b 81 1ag aub 81
ed. Liquors in greatplenty from ''Jer-
Esey lightning (Which is kind of loco
motive at full speed, reduced to liquid
Newark champagne. Tospeak
in plain prose Jones the divorce man, gave
"a campagne supper, and Smith, the turn
pike man, followed with a campagne
breakfast Under the modifying ginauence
of which, the assembled wisdom passed
both the divorce and turnpike bills, and
Jones and Smith--a copy Of each bill on
parchment in their pockets---when rejoic-
ing home, oyer miles of sand, and through
the tribulation of many stage. coaches
Smith arrived at home in the, evening, and
as he sat down in his parlor, his pretty
wife beside him-how pretty she did look!
and five of her children asleep overhead,
the other FIVE studying their school lessons
/ in a corner of the room, Smith was in
deed to expatiate upon the cool result Of
his mission to Trenton. a'4'34 A4H'
"A turnpike, my dear. l am, one Of
the directors and will be President; it will
set us up love, we can send the children
to boarding school and live in style, out of
the toll. Here is the charter honey"
'Let us see it," said the pretty wife,
who was one of the incest wives, with
plumpness and goodness dimpling all over
her face, ''let me see it" and she leaned
over Smiths shoulder pressing her arm
upon his own, as she looked at the parch-
ment. But all at once Smiths visage grew
long. Smith wife's vissage grew black.
Smith was not profane, but now he rip
ped out an oath: 'sD--n it, wife, these
internal scoundrels at Trenton haze gonea
divorced ISL"
1t was too true, the parchment which he
held was bill of divorce, in which the
name of Smiths wife appeared in fright
fully legble letters. Mrs. Smith wiped
her eye with the corner of her apron
''Here's aturnpikeH' she said sadly, s'and
with the whole ten of our children staring
me in the face, amt your wife? Here's
he turnpike!'' aFE7I 9o .aa.a .@'a ,eia@
''D-n the pike, and the legislature,
and ----4 % Well, the fact is that Smith,
reduced to single blessedness, and "enac.
4 ted" into stranger to his own wife, swore
awfully. Although the night was dark,
and most Of the citizens of Smiths village
had gone to bed, Smith bid his late wife
! put on her bonnet, and arm in arm they
/. proceededto the houseof the clergy man ot
their church." l .'s2 ~ -4s..,J'l,tl
4 "What is the matter!'' exclaimed the
clergyman, evidently surprised at this late
i visit. a g e..aq49T7us aebaoI algg' A
s'The matteris, want you to marry u:
4 two right off" replied Smith. a1 J
Marry you?'' circulated the clergy
man, with expanded fingers and awfu
} eyes, i'are you drunk or crazy?''7 e, tz'
:. Il amt crazy, and | wish Iacas drunk,
said Smith desperately; the factis, brothe:
J, Goodwin, that some scoundrels. at Tren
!, ton, nnbeknown to me, and at the dead o
night have goneand divorced me from m1
wife, ,1she is the mother ef-of-nine chill
7, drenp' 9sl 5aJ Eu s5IssGE 1s5.
"Ten," suggested Mrs. Smith, wht
was crying, Here's turnpike!" ~
"Well, the good minister seeing tn
state of the'case, the Trenton parchmen
was duly produced from the pocketof tn
lugubrious Smith, married them owe
!, straightway, and would not take aifee; tn
fact is, grave as he was, he was dying t
be alone; SO that he could give vent to.
suppressed laugh, which was shaking hin
all over, and Smith and Smiths wife wen
joyfully home, and kissed every one o
theirten children. The little Smith S new
er knew thet their father and mother ha
! been made strangers to each other by leg
islative enactment. bef1 i 95z 9H
Meanwhile, ton the self same nigh
Jones returned to his native town-Bul
j llngton," I believe-and sought at one
!, that fine pair of black eyes which he hope
i shortly to call his own. The pretty vie
!, ! ow sat on the sofa, a white 'kerchief tie
carelessly about her round white throa
! her black hair laid in silky waves again
d each rosy cheek. ybe! eid nuFp18I
+ HDivorca is the word - cr;od T,o