New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1853-03-04
friday MORNING, MARCH A, 1856;
THE FOURTH OF MARCH.

As New Years compliments are in order on
the first Of January, our democratic friends will
allow us to present them our compliments upon
the FIRST day Of new political period Gen.
Pierce is inaugurated to-day, and we hope they
will remember that he owes them, one and all
a good fat office, and will give it, or promise it,
which may not be entirely satisfactory, but will
be, at least, decidedly complimentary, We
never applied for an Office, and do not expect to
annoy Gen. Pierce in the premises But we
may, nevertheless, give our democratic friends
afew hints as to the best mode of procedure
In the first place. we advise every man of
them to get sufficiently large number of let
tiers, so as to employ Gen. Pierce at least one
entire day in reading his personal recommended
tions. The new President was elected to attend
to the interests of the people, and not the least
important, If not the first of them, is to see that
all patriots who voted for him, are properly sup
Piled with fat offices, as the first duty of yicto-
rious General on entering captured city, is to
re that histroops are comfortably quartered.
In the second place, VIC advise every aforesaid
patriot to draw up a biographical sketch of
himself, unless at some time he had the misfor-
tune to-be q rascslly wing, in which case the
biography may be omitted as unnecessary. At the
same time, a lengthy and elaborate memorial,
with the is Dotted the is crossed, few full
stops, capital letters and italics in the right
place, and all the words spelt correctly, should
go to the White House.
In third place, we would advise him to for
ward his daguerreotype. If he be unconscion-
ably ugly (as most locos are,) Pierce may take
pity on his misery of ugliness, and deeming it
the deplorable result Of four years of whip rule
and democratic starvation, give him snug
office. If he be handsome, (and some of our.
democratic friends are accidentally handsome)
Pierce may admire his beauty, and think, being
as pretty as a picture he might answer in
stead Of that ornament, in a custom house. most
Office, mint, etc. We apprehend, however. that
psaasy VIII be no recommendation as Pierce
Wiit pc apt to suspect that such good looking
ieliow must ut some time or another have been
good whig.
In the fourth place, if our denpcratic friend |
can scrape up the cash. we advise him 10 visit
Washington to express to Pierce, in person. his
ecstatie delight at his (P's)) success, with a
gentle insinuation that a good patriot would be
happy to assist him in managing matters, and
initiate him at a distance, by drawing moder-
ate share of u S. coin. We might add, that
wife and six small children, or some half dozen
dependent (if possible, aged) relatives, forty
second cousinship to a prominent democratic
congressman, ETC., may all be effectively used.
As for our wing friends in the Custom. house,
fost-office, Mint, ETC., we suspect that Pierce
may take it into his head, very shortly, to dis |
pense with their services; in point of fact fas |
Micawber would aay) they will walk the
plank. In the mean time, they need not 90 to
the expense of buying Grape. Indeed, we would
advise them to econonize in the matter of coat
tails, Lake dinners and opera boxes, read Bos
suet on the vanity of earthly things, set their
houses in order, and prepare themselves to
endure with Christian forttude their melancholy
late Wehad forgotten to say, that they should
claim from every new democratic official some
hing fortifying for all melancholy expectants
n the neighborhood.