Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1853-07-27

body else have it. I'm his youngest bro.
ther-give it to me- -t 7sss.--i
eff you will attend here at twelve, or
Monday. the will will be read.''
Bang, bang. bangl
"I'm thoroughly beseiged," said Mr..
Shaw. '.Now. madam. who are you?"
Something advantageous ?'' scream
ed masculine looking woman. I'm a
relative-what is it? Come on dears.-
Here my five dear daughters and my ba-
by, come along"
''Be off with you." cried the youngest
brother.
"Did you speak to me. wretch ?'' said
the lady, and she planted blow in his
face that made him reel. "Take that, l
know YOU, you sneaking hound, you used
be called the chimpazee in the family,
you poor scorched up looking bundle of
cats meat"
Several more arrivals now took place,
and poor Mr.. Shaw was fairly bewildered.
Sounds of contention arose on the stair
case. Shrieks from family combata is
Came upon our ears. and finally advised
Mr.. Shaw to paste placard on the out
er door of his Office, upon which was writ
ten:
"The will of Mr.. Jordan will be read
here on Monday next, at two O'Clock, pre-
cisely."
The riot gradually subsidized. Evening
came on, and all the relations OF the de-
ceased had been gone. Mr.. Shaw and
suPPed together, and l promised to be
with him punctually at twelve o'clock on
the following Monday, for L was as curl
Gus as any body could be, to hear the will
read, and at all events, anticipated a
bustling scene on the occasion. was not
doomed to be disappointed.
1t is a habit Of mine rather to be too
early than to be too late, and in the
present instance found it most useful
one, for l really almost doubt if l should
have got into the chambers of Mr.. Shaw
at all. if had been later than was.
had fairly to push Mas. Grantham in,
despite vigorous opposition, and man
stopped my own entrance crying
"Who are you? What relation are
you %
.His grandfather's uncle" said I, t'and
if you don't make way there, Pl pull
the nose off your face
1t was well that Mr.. Shaw occupied
very spacious chambers, or otherwise he
could not have accommodated "ne-half of
the persons who came to the reading of
the will, and never. in my life saw such
malignant looks pass from one to anot her
as Shot from the eyes of the relations. II
was most pitiful picture of human ma
ture.
Ladies and gentlemen" said Mr..
Shaw, "ahem."
There was deathlike silence.
Ladies' and gentlemen, l am COM
missioned TO read To YOU the-the-what
shall call it Pit is hardly a will of the
late Mr.. Jordan. No. it certainly ought
not to be called will. for will. proper
ly speaking, is testamentary-"
Read. read" cried a dozen voices.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen. am
glad to see you all in respectable mourn
ing"
Except one." said the younger bro
ther; there's his Mary that he was SO
fond of. Oh, dear me, she only comes
for what she can get"
Mrs. Grantham burst into tears. There
was li.tle shabby piece of black Grape
upon her arm, and another upon the arm
of her child.
:. could not" she said :; 81 could do
no more. God help me. l had not the
means"
Read. read /" cried all the voices.
"Ahem," said Mr.. Shaw, reading =
Il, John James Jordan. being very poor
and having in vain called upon every re-
lation l have in the world fol assistance,
and found none, have to state that my
heart was filed with uncharitableness and
bitterness towards them. But still l
think they are not dead to all feeling
and this being my last will and testa
ment, desire that my debts, amounting
to the sum of one pound. three shillings
and eight pence be paid forthwith out of
my estate !; that my funeral be strictly
private in Barnes church-yard. where
last parted with one whom L loved, but
who has gone abroad, am told, and to
that one of my relations who will erect
tombstone, L bequeath -
''Hark will you?" cried one; "be qui-
ct. Go on-yes. yes. Oh you wretch
where's your feelings? Go to the -"
Really. ladies and gentlemen" said
l, ''this is most indecorous."
al bequeath," continued Mr.. Shaw,
..my dying blessing and forgiveness"
Mr.. Shaw then folded up the will and
put it in his pocket, saying
"I wish you all good morning. ladies
and gentlemen. l sold the few clothes
and other matters that he died possessed
of, and paid for the funeral and his debts,
being myself minus one shilling and four
pence, which I hope some of you will
pay"
1t is quite impossible. by any words to
fairly depict TO the reader the appearance