Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1853-07-28

A Coon OLD JoKE.-"How did you
sleep last night" asked an anxious land
lady of new lodger.
why, madam, if the inmates of
your house were only democrats. l
should have been taken out of bed ~
"Who do you mean p
"The fess to be sure. Union 10
strength is maxim they do not appear
to understand. for had they been unsni.
nous, they could easily have carried me
off,"
81 was no. aware | had single ons
in the house," said the landlady.
Il don't believe you have" re,or!ed
The lodger. "ihey are all married. and
have uncommon large families.
A cumming old Duschman was men,
ber OF the Pennsylvania Legislature
some years ago, from county
On one occasion he promised a LOBBY
member to vote for certain local meas
ure. but when the measure came up. he
voted agains. it, and il was lost. The
lobby member came 10 him in great
wrath, and the following ensued:
"Sir, you promised TO vote for my
BILL" .-..
"Vell," said she Dutch member. '.sas
if | did 3
"Well, sir, you voted against it,"
"VeIl. vas if did ?"
well. sir, you lied"
"Vell, vat it did % was the cool
reply. ....
"You say. Mrs. Smith. that you have
lived with the defendant for eight years.
Does the court understand from ,ha, that
you are married to him %
"In course il does"
"Have you marriage certificate !'
"Yes, your honor, three on 'em-iwo
gals and boy"
Verdlc, for the plainsiff-call The next
case.
A good old Du,chrAan and his froU
had set up ill gaping lime. when the lat
ter, after a full stretch in the above ope-
ration, said, al wish wash in heben."-
Hans yawncd and replied, al wish wash
in de still house," The eyes of Sally
flew wide open as she exclaimed-"I
pc pound you always wish yourself in
de pest place.
An exquisite young lady wriggled in
10 linen draper's and with the most
excruciating drawl she could affect. in
quired if they had any "subdued mousse
colored silk"
NO." replied the draper with sud-
den and expressive twirl of the yard
stick. "bus we have some enrGged rat
color :"
Papa" said precocious child. "wha,
is humbug :" 81, is my DEAR" replied
the parent with deep-drawn sigh.
"when your mamma pretends to be very
fond of me and puts no buttons on my
shirt"
The ScoTcHMAN's PRAyER.-Keep
my purse from the ia,oyer+-my body
from the docfor-ard my soul from the
devil.
"lf all the world were blind. what
melancholy sight il would be-" said an
Irish clergyman to his congregation.
Wenotice in cotemporary's columns
the advertisement, of lady for hus-
band-"None need apply under six
feeL" Whew! but the lady goes in for
Hy-men.
"My German friend. how long have
you been married." "Vell, dis q ting
vat seldom don't like to tauk apou,:
bu, ven does, il seems to be so long
that it never vas"
Down East Debating Society hav-
ing dismissed the question--..where does
fire go when it goes out ?" have 60,
new and more exciting one up-.When
house is destroyed by fire does i, burn
up or dotOn ?" There will probably be-
a todrm debate on this question.
| The following is "fearful." besides
being slightly original. We find i, IN
| the Literary Museum. "Mr. Museum
If dogs tail is kut awf in,irely
would i, interfere with his lowcowmo-
tion," Answer: not exzackly-i, might
no, aiTec. his carriage but t'would entire
ly stop his tcaggin.'
3 D"Mike, and is it yerself that can bs
( af,her telling me how they make ice
r cream!" "In truth can--do they no
bake them in cowld ovens. TO be sure"