Washington telegraph., 1853-06-01
LONDON, April. 1858.

IIy Dear Horatio- At that particular
moment when Gillotts humanity triumphed
in the cause Of suffering geese. flightv and
imaginative genius winged departure ito
that bourne from whence" | have heard it
stated, there is no return train. So let the
fact be recorded. The present excitement
begetting age, foTbidding a dedication TO ro-
nance, my scrawl viii solely tend TO en-
tighten you upon the movements Of our set.
You viii be astonished to learn that the
daily routine Of pleasure has died an OBJ
scure death; dunning tailor, on the eve of
ruin, ceases to produce the slightest particle
cf an excitement; the impotcnt despair of a
newly plucked college chum causes not the
most remote symptom Of chucllle. We
now view such occurrences as natural events,
without an increase If rulsation. Yes, my
charming exile, fed il NJ Last presented
to our gaze, ore extended plain Of luxurious
pasturage, heavenly grazing ground for
our worn out palates. 10 save cur nerrcs
from perfect annihilation, we got up an evan
cscent excitement in the shape Of model
lodging houses for the poor, and soup distri-
buttons, at last were fam to have touch at
Hindoo conversion, but all to no purpose;
and upon my sacred word Of honor, ! verify
believe that we should have died from pure
nervous imbecility, had not the courageous
Mrs. Beecher Stowe, in spite of the contain
mating influence Of our disease, .astencl to
the rescue, and restored our diilpitated pull
sation by dose Of 'her own manufacture -
which with charming modesty she styles her
Black Draught."
What are the late fashionable pleasures to
US now. Scandal ceases to form the basis
Of society; defamation lacks the lustre Of its
pristine wit; the conversion Of candor to d.
plomacy. friendship TO court intrigue re-
ceiyes not its accustomed reward, IN olcya-
ton to higher grade Of ton"
Nc, my dear Snifrum, We live in pro-
grcssivc arc. To those who swallow the
black draught." (and all sheep follow the
"Belle') the effect will be found instanlane-
Gus. Our blood now circles with lightning
rapidity through our once lethargic hearts.
We are ourselves again! The cry is not "a
horse. horse. my kingdom for a horse" bu;
"a niger. niger. lalf my estate for mig
ger." Why, my dear felIow, | can assure
you that Stafford House monopolizes the en-
tire race Of Philippians, Hottento.s. Malays,
Coolies, &c, now in England; anl 1t was
only by the most incessant application to
Her Grace, that my labor was at last reward
cd BY the allotment Of a beautiful specimen
Of the ''river Niger genus" I feel strange
sensation stealing over me-a species Of
gratitude at the very thought Of Her Graces
kind consideration. Am not truly FORUM
ate? For my dear Canadian squatter. you
must foresee that man will heEceforth be
only known by the intensity in color Of his
valet--par example.
The man Of ton will sport pure ebony;
the parvenu will at once be recognized BY
one Of no darker hue than mahogany; while
the plebeian scum must f.lin content itself
with the neutral tint creole.
The opera troupe have returned to Italy
and the establishment will shortly reopen
with the brilliant attraction Of the Black
Swan. in that fIvoritc and exquisite melody
the BLACK joke" All the other theatres
are closed excepting the Haymarket, Buck
stone having agreed to play Ontelk0 every
night for the remainder of his lease.
The palace is in anxious anticipation
The favorite air whistled at Buckingham by
the lords in waiting is Jordan observe
in this evenings Gazette the following:
1T has been rumored that the leaders Of
fashion hitherto known as tie Guards
will henceforth be recognized as tic black
guards" And.
''By order Of the commissioners Of woods
and forests, the white swans at present orna-
menting the waters Of the Greek Park, to
be superseded by black swans in respect to
the prima donna's wishes
In the bankrupt ,ist I notice Whites
Club House. Why, my dear fellow, 90
great is the enthusiasm expressed that
woman was yesterday refused admittance
into the hospital because she was suffering
from black vomit
One Of ''ours,'' old Digby Curdlehearte,
visits your hemisphere shortly. lie will Of
course patronize the black ball line.
Dinner is just announced wish, my
dear, delightful North American savage,
that you were my vis-a-vis-such a delecta-
bic dish, black pudding, with a goblet Of
rich quashie-champagn being now literal
" vulgar, hideously brutal, and can be COM
pared to the former only in the ratio of
cobler to Bacchus But my ycrlterr1te glo-
bule Of culinary perfection awaits. % fare
thee well, and in presenting curvature OF
my vertebre in the sincere esteem / bear
towards % accomplished roue m yourself,
permit me, with most humble dciercnee and
courtesy to request that in your future cor
rcspondence YOU will be more niggardly