Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1853-08-31
The Sick Bachelor.

The Sick Bachelor.
Here am doomed man-booked for
fever, in this gloomy room, up four flights
of stairs; nothing to look at but one table,
two chairs, and cobweb; pulse racing like
locomotive; head throbbing as if it were
hooped with iron; mouth as parched as Ish-
maels in the desert; not bellrope within
reach; sun pouring in thFough -tllese-uHeur-.
tanned windows. hot enough to singe OF nv
eye-lashes all my confidential letters lying
loose on the table, and I couldn': get up to
them if you held one Of Colts resolyers to
my head. All my masculine friends (?) are
parading Broadway, l suppose; reeping un-
der the pretty girls >bonnets, or drinking
sherry cobblers." A sherry cobbler! Bac-
chus! what luxury. believe Satan sug-
gested the thought to me-
Heigho! suppose the Doctor (whom they
have sent for) will come before long; some
great pompous E~culapius, with an owl phiz,
a gold-headed cane, an oracular voice, and
4 callous heart and hands; who will first man
1 ipulate my wrist and then take the latitude
/ and longitude Of my tongue; then he will
punch me in the ribs, and torment me with
more questions than there are in the Assem-
blv's catechism; then he'll bother me for
I writing materials to scratch off hieroglyphic
humbug prescription, ordering FIVE times as
much medicine as [ need then | shall have
to pay for it; then, ten to one, the apothe-
Scary's boy will put up poison by mistake =
caesar, how my head spins round Hippo
sdrome racing is nothing to it.
Hist! there's the doctor. No! it is that
Iittle unregenerate cub, my landlady's pet
sboy, with bran new drum Gas I'm sinner
tupon which he is beating erucifying tattoo
IIf only had boot-jack to throw at him.
mo! that won't do; his mother woudn'r
lmake my grueii. III bribe him with six
lpence to keep the peace. The little embryo
sJew he says he agon't do 1t under guar
ster! Twitted by little pnafore l, Ton
lHaliday, sixfeet in my stockings. I shall g
Sfrantc
I doctor is comingp Well, let him come
Tn as savage as if I'd just dined off a colo
missionary. I'll pretend to be asleep, anC
blet old Pill-box experiment.
1 How gently he treads; how soft his hanc
lis how cool and delicious his touch How
stemples! His magnetic touch thrills ever!
Fdrop Of blood in my veins; it IS narvellou
ahow soothing it is. I feel as happy as
drumming bird in Ely cup, drowsy witt
lhoney-dew. Now he's moved away. [ lhea
lhim writing prescription. I'll just take
Ipeep and sec what lie looks like! Casa
lAggripiua! if it isn't Female Physician
dainty as Peri-and nay beard three dag
lold I What bust! (Wonder how IN
ahair looks What foot and ankle Whs
Shoulders what little round waist Fever
Tive got ta0enty fevers, and the heart con
; Eplaint besides. What the mischief sentth;
kittle witch here? She will either kill (
Icure me, pretty quick.
/ Wonder if she has any more naasculi
) ipatieats? ? Wonder if they are handsome
| lWonder if she lays that little dimpled har
, ion their foleheads, as she did on mine ?
! lNow she has done writing, I'll shut my ey
: Sand groan, and then, may be, she will z
f sme some more bless her little soul!
She says, poor fellow" as she holds \
$ wrist, his pulseis too quick" In the nar
sof Cupid, what does she expect? She sa
: Jas she pats my forehead with her little plur
q Fingers, "'Sh-'sh Keep cool. La
9 land birthstone does she take me for
iceberg?
i Oh, Cupid of all your devices, this fer
! lnine doctoring for bachelor is the ne pI
2 Iulra Of witchcratt. If don't have p
q slonged run Of fever" my name isn't Il
le Halliday
q She's gone and-Tm gone, too
! IN. Y. Journal FANNY FERN