Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1853-11-05
wilton tst thsN.Y. Musical World and rla
NEWsPAPER-DOM.

1t ia beyond my comprehension how Methusa-
leh lived nine hundred and sixty-nine years with
out . newspaper or, what the mischief Noah did,
daring that forty DAYS" shower when he had ex-
hausted the study of Natural History. 1t makes
me yawn To think Of it. Or what later generations
did the famished half hour before meals; or, when
travelling, when the old stage-coach crept up a.
stsep hill, some dusty hot summer noon. Shade
Of Franklnl how they must have been eRiuyed
How did they ever know when -four had ''riz''-
or what was the market price of pork small tooth
combs, cotton, wool and molassesl How did they
know whether Queen Victoria had made her broth
or an uncle aunt? How could find out wheth-
or Fanny Fiddestick was Napthal wilkins sis
teri What christianized gou'y old men and snap
pish old ladiesl What kept the old maids from
making mnce-meat of pretty young girls? What
did loye-sick damsels do for sweet bits of poetry
and touching continued stories!' Who're did
their papas find solace when the coffee was mud
dy, the toast smoked and the beefstcak raw,
done to loather2 What did cab-dryers do while
waiting for tardy patroni What did draymen do
when taere was "a great calm at, the dry-goods
store OF Go Ahead Col What screen did hus-
bands dodge hehind, when their wives asked them
for money!
Some people define happiness to be one thing,
aud some another. l dehne it to be room scar
petsd and furnished" with Exchanges" with a
place cleared in the middle for two arm chairs; one
Tor clever editor and one for yourself. | say il
IL 10 take up those papers, one by one, and laugh
over the funny things and skip the stupid ones
% admire the ingenuity Of woud-be literary light;
who pilfer one half their original (?) ideas aud
stesithe remainder sayit is to shuddera thanks
giving that you are not in the ma riagc list,-to
try for the hundredth time, TO solve tho riddle;--
How can each paper that passes through your hand
DO "the best and cheapest periodical in the know
= world"
a1I say IL 10 to look round an editorial sanctum in
war1ly chuckling at the forlorn appearance i
makes without feminine fingers 10 keep it tidy; b
eoe the lookng-glass vieled with cobwebs; the dus
on tho desk thick enough to write your name in
g ths wash-bowl and towel mulatto color; the soaI
liqui6ed 10 jelly (editors like soft-soap); the ta
bio covered with heterogeneous mass of manu-
ecripts aAd paper folders, and wafers and stamps
and d'blottingpaper and envelopes and tailors bill
snd letters complimentary, belligerent and pacific
-a's say il ie to hear the editor complain, with
frewD, Of the heat aud his headache; to conceal
saiie while you suggest the probability Of relief il
2 awlndow should be opened; 70 sec him start Al
your superior profundity; to bear him cay, with
gFoaa, how much 'proof' he has to read, before hC
Ssa leave for home to take ofyour gloves and helI
him ccrreetit;-to hear him saw there is bool
fof T1yiew which he has not time to look over; Il
take Q folder and cut the leaves, and athx guido
bssFds for notice at all the fine passages; TO Sc,
him kick over an innocent chair, because he can
med ret hold Of the right word for an editorials; l.
feel twhile you help him to it) very much like tn
mouse who gnawed the lion out Of nett and the
10 take up his paper some days after, ard find
paragraph endorsed by him, ''deploring toe inte
fsotuil inferiority Of woman"
That's what coll happinessl
FASSY FERS.