Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1853-06-18
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York Organ on rChomical Meditation
Meaus wntes and Oh
a One day had broil,
wa AZ down 10 "a glass they were dropping
And would not unite,
80 But continued to fight
ss Without any prospect Of stopping.
tft Mr.. PearIssb o'erbeard,
As.s = And quick as a word,
He jump'd in the midst ofthe clsshiugi
Whon all fhres agreed,
t And united with spesd,
-EY And Soap came out, ready for washiug.
snonr DANA, IN Two ScgSRs, - Fira
,c.s,,e. Millionaire seated in his easy chair.
f'r him stands poor man, in supplicating
attitude
Millionaire Aheml very sorry, my young
friend, that can do nothing for you But
caa give you word Of advice ecoaon,ist
Poor Man-tiut when man has nothing
10 do -
Millionaire Nonsensel Under certain cir
cun,stances man must know how to save
Second scens--The Millionaire is drowning
ia pond, the poor man calmly rcgardig him
from the shore.
Poor Man--Sorry, my friend, that can do
nothing for you. But can give you word
ul advice-swim!
MllllOnhTe \CnohHiBI I--DuV-ouo Mhc' "hcu
n ma. man can't swim
Poor Man Nonsensel Under certain cir.
cumstances, man must know how TO swim
Morro FoR THE ANTI WoMAN's RIGHTs
CONVENTIONAL mans man for a that"
NEA Massachusetts woman, in view Of
the accordance Of the right Of females to vote,
asks that election day be changed from Mon
day-that day being, from time mmemoTial,
washing day."
m EE"Madam" said cross-tempered ply
sician to patient, "if women were admitted
to paradise, their tongues would make it a
purgatory."
"And some physicians if allowed to practice
there" replied thu lady," would soon make
il desert"
REMr. Paradox occasionally takes some
Of the stifening out Of his dignity. when chat
ting at home with his wife. Said he, yester-
day, at the breakfast table.
"Pray tell me. Sally, in what respect re-
sembled Union Party man when | returned
from Dabol's champagne suPpcr, last even
ing?"
l" don. know T. sure" replied the worthy
lsdy. as she poured out the coffee
Because" said Paradox, laughing loud
cnongh to be heard half mile, 81 knew nc
North, no South, no East, no W's:P
EyA loafer who had his Christmas load
on "fetched up" against the side ola house
which had been newly painted. Showing him.
self clear by vigorous effort, he took one
glimpse at bis shoulder, another at the house
u third at his hand, and exclaimed:
"Well, that are darne'd careless trick II
whoever painted that house, to leave itstane
out all night for the people to run against"
u EEBefore the days of the teetotalers. {
.neighbor of Mr.. Bisbee saw that gentleman
at an early hour of the day crawling slowly
homeward on his hands and knees over the
frozen ground.
"Why don't you get up, Mr.. Bisbeee Why
don't you get up and walk?" said his neigh
Dor.
"I w.w-would, b-b-but it's so almighty thi'
here TINT I'm a-a-afraid | shall bb-breal
thought"
EFrEcr OF Lreuon oNA HARD HAD
"Sambo, was you ever drunk 2
mo, Josh, | was neber drunk, but wa
intoxicated once on ardent spirits, and dat
enough for dis nigger Golly, if my hea
didn's feel as if all the niggers in the worl
was splittiu' wood on 'em."
At recent bull-6ght in Madrid eleve
horses were killed.
"oh mother" said little child, "Mr.
dose love aunt Lucy--he sits by herb
whispers to her, and he hugs her" "wh,
Edward, your aunt don't suffer that, dot
she ?" Sa6er that? No. mother. she love
it"
rg-A lady being asked what business he
husband followed, said he was engaged
"fnishing." Further explanation was nece
s.ry, and after brief hesitation, she contl
ued, "6nishing. bis time in the States prison
UAn alligator is deceitfnl creature an
vet he presents an open countenance, wh'
when in the act Of taking 20" an.
From the Bulge
DR.. Buckley, in one Of his lectures, mat
use of an illustration something like this
Holding dime close 10 his eye with one han
and half dollar at some distance with q
other. said he, now cannot see the half d.
lar with this eve, for the dime is SO close
obscures my vision. So it is with manklr
In their eagerness TO save one dollar. they
tep lose sight of fifty within their reach. III
is very apt illustration OF the benefits oi a
vertising In saving one dollar for adver
sing. dealers often fail to secure custom
whose trade would be worth perhaps hu
dreds OF dollars to them. Such mercha
hold up the dime SO close that they cam
see the dollar they might obtain,
GwSince the appearance Of "Fern Leave
public curiosity insist upon raising the
from the fair ncognita; but sIi in vain,