davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

THE Man AND TIE VINE ---In one Of the
early years after the creation Of the world
man began to plant vine, and Satan saw il
and drew near.
"What plantest thou, son Of the earth =
said the prince Of demons.
/" A vinep' replied the man.
"What are the properties Of this tree !
"Oh. its fruit is pleasant 10 look at, and
delicious to the taste from it is produced a
liquid which fills the heart with joy"
"Well since wine makes glad the heart of
man. / will help thee plant this tree"
SO saying, the demon brought lamb and
slew it, then lion. then an ape. and last Of
all pig, killing each in succession, and
moistening the roots Of the vine with the
blood.
Thence it has happened ever since, that
when man drinks a small portion Of wine.
he becomes gentle and caressing as a lamb (;
after little more, strong and bold as a lion
when he takes still more, he resembles an ape
in his folly, and absurd and mischievous ac-
tons: but when he has swallowed to excess,
he is like a pig wallowing in the mirc.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06
Number 10
The Bamed Lawyer.

At recent sitting Of the Cork Assizes
case was brought before the Court, IN which tho
principal witness for the defence was a tan
ner, well known in the surrounding country
BIZ the soubriquet Of Crazy Pat"
Upon Crazy Pat being called upon for his
evidence, tho attorney for the prosecution
excrted 10 the utmost extent his knowledge
Of legal chicanery. in the ondeavor to force
the witness into some slight inconsistency.
upon which he might build roint = buf
he was excessively annoyed to find that Crazy
Pats evidence was consistent throughout.
Perceiving that acute questioning failed
to answer his purpose. the disciple o. Coke
and Blackstone bct0ok himself to that often
times successful resource Of lawyer's-ridi-
euc.
What did you say your name was ?" hc
inquired hippantly.
Folks call me Crazy Pat but"
Crazy Pat, ell? A very euphouious IT,
tie; quite romantic, eli p
Romantic or not, sur, it wuldn't be bad
idea il the Parliamint would give it to yer
sllf, an lave me to choose anoother."
This caused slight laugh in the court
room and the presiding judge peeped over
his spectacles at the attorney, as much Is 10
say, you have your match. now"
And what did you say your trade was ?"
continued the Disconnected barrister, with an
angry look at the witness
I'm a tanner, sur"
"A tanner, ell ! And how long do you
think it would take you to tan the hide Of an
OK"
Well, sur, since it sames to be yiry I'M
portant for ye to know it's mesilf thatll iist
tell ye-it's intirelY OWN to circumstance
intirely."
Did you ever tan the hide Of an ass ?"
An ass No, sur; bu. if you II iist step
down the lane after the Coort be jabbers
I'll give you physical demonstration that
could tan the hide Of an ass in the shortest
end Of three minutes -
This unexpected reply Of the witness brot'
forth roars Of laughter, in which the bench
heartily joined whilst the bafflcl attorney.
blushing to the eyes, hastily informed Crazy
Pat that he was no longer required
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06
MISCELLANEOUS.
A SHARP TRANSACTION;
on,
WALL STREET SHAVED.

S5me time since, as a fnancicr was just
sin, his Office in Wall st., (N. ! J after a
ay day Of stock and banking operation,
i shi,h lal evidently been satisfactory, since
e0unienance wore that pleasant expression
g.ish i compatible only with unqualified
! aeeqs.l he noticed a countryman, with
i gaeLel Tat homespun coat. and thick, mud
1ycrcl boots, driving along a COW and calf.
lle cows udder was brimming full, 50 that
] sne streams Of the lacteal fluid was running
fom har teats. The thought Of pure coun-
4 rs milk crossed the brokers' brain, and the
aaptaiion to secure such luxury induced
-im to pause
i ay cried he to the countryman.
Hello yerself" replied the rustic.
That's a fine COW you have there.
Wall, yes = pretty smart animal, !
reckon
Where 10 you como from =
"Dltchess County. a leetlc back Of Pokee-
ray Been driyin al day round teown-
'aslrnel tired, eny how"
/" |. yOur COW for sale q
" Deont know; hate 70 part with her, but
u0ught dcker. Like to buy ,"
Perhaps So What's your price ?"
/" Look here. Mister, you cant have the
'lf That's half Dcyonshire, and morc'n
quarter Durham. | want her"
Well, don't want the calf. What will
gol take for The COW p
What a thunderin big house" solilo-
quiscd the countryman, as his glance rested
a the Exchange must a cost heap o
mWterm
"Oh, tyou won't sell, I'll 60" observed
lie gentleman.
" Wal, don't like to part with Old Bet
boz i you'll give sixty-fve dollars in Caliior-
~ sinners you can take her. Look at that =
continued the Yankee, pointing to a little
Fool q milk that had gathered on the pave
nent that's true Old Dutchess grass.uice
-lew.thirds cream, and the rest sweet butter
nik.p
The financicr thought the price rather high,
y thc sight Of the milk--anj such bag
,4-conyinced him that the bargain would
Y q good one, 70 he stepped into lis Office
ala produced the gold, which the Yankee
aFeiully counted, hefied, bit. &c, to make
'lfe that it was good, observing that " folks
aie pesky sharp down here, and somebody
,,d this was Wall ST., 50 I'd better look eout.
Having satisfied himself that the gold was
sood lie turned away with the calf, almost
sglng at parting with Old Bet, who he said
Y loved "more'n he did his brother"
The Wall st. gentleman hired Hibernian
Y drive Old Bet to his home, across the river.
hat night there was rejoicing in Brooklyn.
iFeat was the flow Of pure country milk. SO
aouEdant that tho broker began to think that
ae had tapped the Milky Way. New pans
we're purchased, the children were filled up
lIe demijohns. even the cats had lick extra,
ahd Biddy called in all the help around to talk
EYER the new wonder. The proud owner and
.s vile congratulated each other hundred
umes, and went to sleep only TO dream ol
.4.nng % huge tin pan over an ocean Of
luk. Old Bet was fed on corn-meal, and
Osadcd like pet dog. Next morning, in
,eaa . Of fifteen quarts. she gave but three
asat = DAY about piut. and in a week she was
: urs as book Of logarithms
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06
p o L T r Y
r,on tbe illustrated Family Friend.
ayer5Ity the Test Of Character
ryL. MILTON WHITMAN

,..,,se men never fear 70 toll,
og lnad rebuff Of chance,
rfin these IL true test q men
fsea forth aud break lancet
~. tlr strong tide aud gl0iy gain,
IS, breast lile's surging wave,
81 MA high deeds the mced Of iamei
An shun inglorious grave
III. nol io launch thy bark q Hope,
'T,ll calm Is liie's wide sea;
r.t vben misloriuue's chilling blast
4. sweeping over thee.
rt.a lare to stem the wild waves rage,
ro gain the longed-lor goal;
~ rs.ih ond Hope thy helsmcn be,
AMI truth direct ihy soul.
~ weak banble boat may sail
IRON 4 calm. clear sea;
III be who hath no power or VIII,
N.l smiles may rival thee;
n. Iei the storm sweep DER the deep
~ Neptune rage and roar,
81, every fragile bark will keep
close Is the friendly shore
W.le the strong ship will cni her way
rsrsush tie Wild. raging main.
t9i,.s,h around her oceans spray,
iler destined port to gam;
ne fragile bark is falor : aiow'
Arlel. floats side rs side.
When BE i calm, with Yaior.s r0fih,
Bas theY ~ storms divide
Ten. when mi,iorinnas imcken round
Aglcars. Cypress thee sore,
Launch boldly lorih ihy bark q life,
Ner haeeal,h's barren shore;
Irt xe4kcrm.Has repine NJ Fate,
Ain timed sprii, quail,
glt gifi thY soul with strength and iaiih,
Aai boldly onward SAL.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

How TO FIJI A CHURcH-I was sitting
at public table in the city Of Boston, where
supposed myself to be a stranger to the
company. A gentleman opposite to me,
however, appeared to know my face, and
entered into conversation with me.
Il understand, Sir. you have orened a
new place Of worship in this city" Assent
was nodded. You have large place OF
worship. | suppose it will seat between two
and three thousand people" Another as
sent. How large is your society r.
About one hundred and fifty" How
MANY hearers ?" perhaps a thousand. +"
"Seats then, for something like two thous-
ana still empty !" "Well, sir, | am not
much Of a saint myself; but | can tell you
your preachers are not wise after your genera
ton. / can tell you, sir, as business man,
how to fill up that immense house, IN less
than five Sundays so that there will not be
standing place for the most curious and
perseyering. The man looked up with all
his worldly wisdom at me. At length ask
ed how it could be done. "Well. sir, said
the man. /" You must say something or do
something to which the multitude would like
to listen. Common sense preaching, and a
simple hearted desire to do good, Is not the
thing. Now, sir. put an advertisement in the
city papers, that next Sabbath you will preach
a wholesome sermon with your eyes shut, or
standing on one foot, or sitting upon the pull
pit cushion, with your legs hanging over.
Your house will be full hours before the time /;
and if you only keep up such novelties, and
Al. a a.
you proceed, you will be the preacher Of this
city, and be followed BY the masses" But
how many Of them would by such means be
saved ?" "Ah," said the wise man, that
is another subject Dr.. Teft.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

The Wall st. fnancer was completely sold.
The Yankee never saw Duchess County, but
had got an old farrow COW, Just drying
NJ, borrowed a calf set him to nursing until
the flow was somewhat stimulated. then kept
the COW without milking for a week. then she
was in proper order to appear on Change, .
when he dressed himself for the occasion, and
made his debut in Wall st. The done brown
broker has since sold his COW to butcher for
some $40 aud taken the milk-pans to his
his Ciliee 10 pitch pennies into.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

LET EN- WRGGLE.-A rural philosopher
somewhat advanced in life, whose limited
knowledge Of natures mysteries had been ac-
quired without the aid Of science, aud who
knew not whether microscope was some-
thing to cat or new tangled farming ma
chine" was once 10 conversation with youth
ful friend fresh from school, who talked TO him
Of the wonderful developments made By that
instrument, a specimen Of which be carried
about him.
While the old man was making frugal
meal in the field at noon. the youth produced
his miscroscope explained its operation, which
he illustrated by exhibiting the power upon
several bugs and divers minute atoms Of imam
matter at hand.
To his surprise, his aged pupil did not man
ifest much astonishment, and stung by his in
difference, he detailed to him how many scores
oflivingcreatures he deyoured at every mouth
ful, and in each drop which quenched his
thirss. At this his hearer was sceptical; to
prove the fact, the boy snatched from his hand
a chunk Of rich cheese which he was then
devouring, and placing it under the magnifer,
the mass Of wriggling animalcul@ was tri-
triumphantly pointed to.
The old man gazed upon the sight indifer-
emily and at length, with the utmost nonchal-
ance, took another huge bite.
Don't" exclaimed the boy, don't eat
it Uncle Ben; don't you see 'em. See EN-
squirm and wriggle? :"
"Let 'en tOriggic" said the old philoso-
pher munching away calmly, "ttey're got The
scorst ont, J'they Kin stan IL, 1 kin" and
he deliberately finished his meal.-Ctint0a
COurdRt.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

TnE NEGRO RAcE.-Bayard Taylor, wri-
ting I, om Nubia, in upper Egypt says:
"Those friends of the African race who
point to Egypt as a proof Of what that race
las accomplished, are wholly mistaken. The
only negro features represented in Egyptian
sculpture. are those Of slaves and captiyes
taken in the Ethiopian wars Of the Pharoas.
The temple and pyramids throughout Nabia
a far as the Dar Fur and Abysinia. all bear
the hierogyphics Of these monarchs, and
there Is no evidence in all the valley Of the
Nile that the negro race ever attained any
higher decree OF civilization than is at present
exhibited in Congo and Ashantee. mention
this not from any feeling hostile to that race,
but simply to controyert the opinion very
prevalent in some parts Of the United States
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

Man AND WoMAN. IS the creature
of interest aud ambition. His nature leads
him forth into the struggle and hustle Of the
world. Love is but the establishment Of
bis early life, or a song piped in the intervals
Of the acts. lie seeks for fame, for place
in the worlds thought, and dominion over his
fellow.men. But woman's whole life j.
history OF the affections The heart Is ner
world it is there her avarice seeks for hidden
treasures. She sends forth her sympathies
IN adventure she embarks her whole soul IN
the traffic of affection and if shlpwrecked.
her case is hopeloss-for il is bankruptcy oi
the heart,
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

"STrpY MEN-Nor Books oh, but
books are safe company They keep your
secrets well they never boast that they made
your eyes glisten, or your cheeks flush or your
heart throb You may take up your favorlte
author and love him at a distance just as
warmly as you like, for all the sweet faces and
glowing thoughts that have winged your lone
iy hours so hectly and so sweetly. Then you
NAV close the book, and lean your cheek
against the cover, as if it were the face Of a
dear friend shut your eyes, and soliloquize to
your hearts content, without fear Of mlscon-
struction, even though you should exslaim IN
the fulness Of your enthusiasm. "What an
adorable soul that man has" You may put
the volume under your pillow, and let your
eve and the first ray Of morning light fall on
it together, and no Argus eyes shall rob you
Of that delicious pleasure, no carping old maid
or straight-laced Pharisce shall cry out, : it
isn't proper. You may have a thousand
petty provoking irritating annoyances through
the day, and you shall come back again to your
old book, and forget them all in dream-land.
Il shall be friend that shall be always at
hand that shall never try you BY caprice, or
pam you Dy iorgeuulhess' VI Mouuu JOu ~
distrust.
STUDY men -
Well, try it once! don't believe there's
any neutral territory, where that interesting
study can be pursued as it should be. Before
YOU get TO the end Of the first chapter, they II
be making love to you from the mere force OF
habit, and because silks and caliccoes and de-
lains naturally suggest it. It's just as natu-
raj To 'em As to sneeze when a ray of sunshine
flashes suddenly in their faces. Study men =
That's game, my dear, that two can play At :.
DO you suppose they are going to sit quietly
down, and let you disscct their heart, without
returning the compliment? No indeed. That's
where they differ slightly from !" books. :"
Men are curious study. Sometimes it
pays to read to " the end Of the volume, and
then, again, it don't-mostly the latter ?"
FANNY Fern.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

APOLOGIES DO not, on sitting down tc
table, inform your guest that you make nc
stranger Of her." or that you fear that she
will not be able to make out" at your plain
table. These apologies are ungenteel and
foolish If your circumstances will not al.
low you on any consideration 70 make liz.
tie improvement in your usual family fare
your friend is. in all probability, aware Of the
fact aud will not with or expect you to incur
any inconvenient expense on her account
but if you are known to possess the means o.
living well, you ought to do SO; and to con
slider a good, though not an extrayagantly
luxurious table as necessary part Of your
expenditure.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

WHEN NEWSPAPERS PLEASE The Lon
don Leader-one Of the most piquaDt jour
nails that reach us from across the great her.
ring pond"-thus felicitously explains the Sc
crot Of newspaper popularity -" 1t may be
very wise to see both sides Of a question,
and to be more anxious about what can be
said against you, than what can be said for
you; but the fact is, that the object Of most
men 10 buying newspaper is to enjoy t1e
statement Of their ol0n iRurtIctLate Aotto8S
az the shape Of GytiSticak Development and
oppression. A reader never so thoroughly
enjoys paper as when he can say. that IS
exactly what | have said myself; ard he al
ways tries to buy that paper which can give to
his own opinions an air Of the greatest point
and wisdom. 1t is looking iuto mirror
which tells him, not the superficial aspect. 50
inadequate to the expression Of his real beau
ty and dignity, but that inner truth which is
a more perfect portrait Of the whole mn a
mirror scbich makes Simpson see a0itA htS
olon eyes the Socrates thai he feels hiDsSeJ
10 Be. For this reason it is to be taken that
the papers which are purchased represent the
opinions of their purchasers.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06
Ingredients of Modern Love.

Twenty glances. twenty tears,
Twenty hopes, and twenty Tears
INeaiy times assatl your doof--
Afl.f dauied come twenty more.
INe'y letters, perinmed sweet
Twenty nuls ~ every street
Twenty uatbs, and twenty lies.
Yenty ,niles. and twenty signs;
Tueat. times 4 DAY 10 pass
Before faitenng looking glass;
TReuts times "a stop your coach
Wrh twenty words Of fond reproach
Twenty such lovers NAV be found
Signing ior-ten thousand pounds
Bat. take my word. ye girls Of sense,
foln hrd them not worth eighteen pence
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

DEATu IS SILENT.-In the city while men
are brawling in the crowded streets, death is
entering the secret chambers. and friends SIT
pallid by the couches Of the breathless, OF
love is drinking in the sigh which bears the
soul 10 heaven. Death is silent: those whose
every look spoke to US in life, pass from our
sight as the shadow from the dial, and the
music Of their words become sad echoes IN
the distance Of our memory. Death Is silent.
Living hatred thunders in the strife OF war,
but when the contest is over, death, grim and
sneechless. IS monarch Of the field. Death
is silent. Tempests shrek madly upon the
ocean. and many are they who sink with tbs
requiem into their fathomless grave but
from the depths Of that sublime sepulshre no
sound comes back to tell Of those who perish.
Death is silent, yet not so entirely; silent It
Is to the ear, but not always to the heart
Our brethren are still bound to US, and tho
dead they have not ceased to be there Is
much to be felt and learned where they rest.
Humanity has instruction from the proud
mans monument, and coutentment lesson
from the vanity that overlies his clay There
i pathos in the solitude where the stranger
sleeps there is mute eloquence IN his unlet-
tered grave there is beauty IN the poor
mans epitaph inscribed honestly By affection
there is sublimity in the rude sepulehre Of
the peasants tomb. when it is an effort 70
symbolic an immortal faith. And it is such
faith which takes terror from the power oi
death. and despair from the silence OF the
crave. That which belongs to earth must g
to earth, and when earth claims ana ge.s
back lis atoms, God gathers up and calls his
spirit home.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

KEEN SArIRE.-A facetious able. having a
box at the opcra-house in Paris, was turned
out Of his possession by Maresehal -, as
remarkable for ungentlemanlike conduct as
for his cowardce aud meanness. The able,
for this uniustfable breach Of good manners,
brought bis action in a court Of honor. and
solicited permission to be bis own advocate,
which was granted lie then plead to the fol-
lowing effect -" 'Tis not Of Monsieur Souf-
fein. who acted 50 nobly in the East ladies,
that complain; it is not Of the Due de Gre
billion, who took Minorca. that | complain
it is not OF the Comptc who so brayely fought
Lord Rodney that complain; but i Is Mare
sckal -, who took my box at the opera
house, and never took anything else = This
piece Of satire 50 sensibly convinced the court
that the complainant had already inflicted
punishment sufficient, that they refused to-
grant a verdict.
49, The wise man e. ~ ~
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

A RESTLESS TovGuE.-A Boston lady has
al this time somewhat novel disease con-
tinual motion Of the tongae, which no DEVICE
effort Of the viii, or medication controls.
We do not mean that she is a nuisance as
talker or a retailer Of street gossip. On the
contrary yorthier woman does not exist
She has expended five hundred dollars among
Az dentists for artificial teeth which her un,
raly member has knocked 50 repeatedly ,a .na'
thew are now wholly abandoned. her tongue
;s moving nimbly aud inyoluntarily without
tbs mouth against the walls Of the cheeks,
r. IN conversation the organ takes on normal
ac,;on - but runs Instantly into its usual rapid
10 ~ motion at the conclusion OF sentence
- Bosroa Medical ana Surgical Journal
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

Tur DrrFERENcE.-A Greek would nave \, y
formed q God to be placed under the Arcn q o
N;aoar an American is satisfied with erect
ing paper mill above it
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

ErrGRAM-Epigram on a woman @itb res
hair, who wrote poetry
aTrac,x.,,,,o ,,.--.--' how sad is your lot:
vn unloisuhasese red-6st your poems az. mn
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

80 Que man may steal Lovsc. when
another must not look over the hedge.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

gJ- lie who has to deal with blockhead,
has need Of much brains
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

70 The wise %a5e a1e knows all.
The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-07-06

First Insertion, per square ten lines orless 81 oO
Every subsequent insertion
NJ Liberal deductions made on yearly adYeF-
tisements
NJ Reveille il published every Wednesday
No paper discontinued until paid for.
~ Post Masters are requested 70 act a. agents
or the Reyeille.-E1
Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1853-05-20
Lightning Rods.

A FTER many years' close investigation and
n numerous siperimsnts, the Pstentee takes
nIe..ure in informing tho public that he has
arrived at the true principle OF protecting amn.''
dwellings and property from the doS.fuc''se 'nuu
once Of LIGHTNING. me caiauiu1' '
that every City, o""' n'so ""1 S &c
victim 10 annuaHy, n'o ,"o go.
lis Inhahi!snts, Is beyono caicuiauon, ssPecany
,.bsp ,hs ,snsdv in 40 easy to obiain-lhis 10
80
found IN
AHHdITAGkS
1n~ss orooret;e fichf,,i,1o RoAa
puLeIbA suH''sA'" A'9J'"'9 ''
and /, ,bis alone. This Rod has been examined
s"u u" '"'' "'o ,i.. =, ,h. u,,lJ-
by the most scientific gsntismen IN 'he "o''u~
Professors M Murtrie, Johnson, w alior and many
49,. r.. h.,. .x.mipaJ them recommend and
o'ne.s .aa' AAo o f ..-,h.,;,,
speak oil them IN 'he hisu sues' tetnis VI sPp'ooao'
and have pronounced tnem 'ne oh'y sa'e .oos N
use in this or any other county tot 'ne Pto'sc1h
OF Lives and Property. One advanIaee 10 o'S'oe
and throw back part OF the electric auid harmless
to the clouds in Time OF stroke ms enaoes 'ne
rod to conduct that portion OF nu'o 'na' oe.ohs'
to the earth without Inc slightest oahesl OF ,ea'
wing the conductor. nis roo mas many o'nei
advantages over the Old one. 1ne oh'y P'sse o'
manufacturing isin
V;r. 81 z Hoors ubo1e 18TH pkilddekpkiG,
where all persons are respectfully invited to call
ii .,.,,;r. "a, themselves Fer sale Wholesale
eho oAouii"o 'o' 'Ae nCc,c .D,s,n.Cu
or ke!a.! ty Ano hhNii AoC'
La. b..n o,rcbs.ad and success.