Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1853-12-27
HUMOROUS SELECTIONS.


Shem, Ham, and JaIhcl, and56 .ianiiiar IL
lusralion of a'.Alr Smith" aud his rIrce
sons John. James. and Josrph:' s9 hlp
Last Sunday, wns endenporing to ~
plain 10 one Of my Sabbath >chpui scholars,
boy Of six or seven years of nge, the maG.
ner in which the sinner, being Il ',hpd-wiih
the righteousness If Chris,, became accrp-
ledby Grm. Nov. Tim said |, wha, cob
or is that waltz .E b, -s, .f,-.
.",WhiIe SIR he replied. u. u, u =, ~
:" But look through these green speclaclcs,
and what color DIES iturpcafp 'si, 's4a3b
"G,ccn, sir si' e4 ,H'
"'Blt is tho wallSFeolly green, or dr,.s il
only seem SO b eAaSe YOU are l1nking
through green gInssfis
81. is whi", aud oily looks green from
the speclncl $. .1
VERY well, now. Just so with God aud
man. Are moi all men sinntrS?'
"YrS. sir
"And dosen't Gvd huc SIM
"Yes, sir ..
"Wc!l now, if Col looks at us through
the perlccliuns Of Chdsl, how will we ap.
pearl
Green sir ""
VOTE FOR IllM.-Lews the fun.luving
editor Of The N. NJ. Union says an tx.
change, is a candida,e for III, L'gislnulrc.
In The last number Of his paper Ilo PUBLISHED
a circular 10 his fell ,w.ctiz us y! eight col.
umns Whereupon he says;
1T may be asked why write so long Il
circular. An anscdo,e will illustrate nv
answer Once upon time, an old lady
senI her grandson out TO sci u turkey. On
his return the following dialogue iook place
Sammy, have you sci helP
Yes grandma
How rany eggs did you put under herl'
One hundred an twenty, grandma
why Sammy, what did youp pui SO many
under her lor!'
'Granlma, l acanLel 10 see her SPREAD
herSeifF
My opponents will pilch into This circular
hope they viii have good ,ime in ma.
king large per cenlage off Of ii. a short
one would be as much hey coul gel over,
but | loahted - SeS them spread iAemSeIueS.'
A few years since, when The Z v.~ DR..
Hawks, The celebrated Episcopal cIcrgvmrn,
was about leaving New York for the S,mli
he was waited upon by the vesrymcn oi
small church Of Wes,ches,er county and ur-
igrndy solicited 10 take charge of The same.
The R4v DJcIor graciousIy received Iha
commIce, but resp cliulIy declined the prop.
osiIion, urging as a chief obj clon, that Tho
salary, though large Tor the parish they rep.
resented, would bo inadequate for his rxpen.
seS, having a considerable family Of children
10 educate and provide lsgr One, Of 'ha
commnee replied: ...
The Lord will lake care Of them; he has
promised 10 hear The young ravens when
they cry, and to provide lor them '"
Very rue said the reverend sentl eman;-
but he has not promised 10 provide for tho
young hawks ........., l....,..
'Snuggs,' says Mugs as tho two were
reeng home late al night, if find my wife
up Ill lick her, because she has no business
10 be burning up wood aud candles for moth.
ing, aud if she's gone 10 bed I'll lick her, be-
cause she has no business to go TO bed before
| do
Mugs says President Snuggs, If We
find any Tree soers In office in Massachu.
sets, we turn them out, for they have no
business to be free soilers; and if we find any
in office in New York who are not Tree soil
ers we'll turn them out, because they have
no business TO bc any thing else Between
drunken Mugs and President Snuggs, there
isn't difference enough 10 pay Tor weighing.
Springfield Rep. M ..,..-- ......-.-
"A Mr.. S, had building on The lands
sold 10 the r. R. Company, and the Super.
intendent, who writes a very bad hand, sent
u short and preemplory leuer 10 Mr. S. or.
dering him 10 remove the building u. ouce.
Looking over The scrawl, he coo|ly pat it in
his pocket, but nothing was heard or done
ubouI the building. The Superintendent
meeting $. three months alIer, begun TO UP.
braid him for not removing the nuisance,
and called his attention 10 a written nulicc.
Notice. said he, 1--we no notice, got
pass from you some Time ago, anil hare been
riding on lie Rail road all summer on the
faith of IT, pulling uuI The sctawl which
was intended for very different purpuse!'
Hon. Hiram Griswrld, according 10 one
10 our exchanges. tells n good ono on hin.
self. lie went one morning 10 'Ravenua,
and carrier boy fur Cleveland paper
asked him TO buy il. Said be: Il read it
before left home The boy looked know.
ingy in his lace and responded: Now, if you
don't want the paper, say SO; buI wouldn't
lie for Two cents,'-Piaia Dealer.
AsFAR UP AS THEY OwN.-We have jus.
heard good 'un. No. long ago a disIn.
guished divine OF this city, was Walking with
u friend past new church in which another
distinguished divine is The Spiritual Shep.
herd! + vE.h-rAh AHE W'sar .,s-
Said the friend to tho D.. D.. looking up at
the spire, (Which was very tail and no. YET
completed, How much higher is lha, goirg
TO be?' u 'foi'1 lnn9 10 tnNH7a -
Not much,' said aho d. D. with a sly
laugh, rEey can't own very larin ihai direc.
lion ---. .4.a
Johnny my son, do you know that you
have broken the Sabbath g5al, ,oatsS
lo'Ies dad said his hule sister, 'and moth.
er's big iron. pot looi ip FIVE OF six pieces
gJohniwaaun The world put malrlmony
into your head. .'-----.-.- -.
Ip'5Wela Thomp, the fact is IwOs geuing ou,