The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1853-01-21
MISCELLANY Y.

ISCELLANY
An Irishman complained to his physician
that he gave him so much medicine that he
was sick two weeks after he got aceH.
When a man makes his wife a handsome
present, it is sign that they have been quar-
reling lately. So married man told US.
"Put that right back where you took it
from!'' the girl ssid when her lover snatched
a kiss, and the poor meek-spirited individual
obeyed her forthwith.
There is a young lady up town who says
that if cart wheel has nine felloes, its a
pity woman like her can't have one. SEN
sible girl that.
But one false step, one wrong habit, ore
corrupt companion, one loose principle, msy
wreck all your prospects, and all the hopes of
those who love you.
SHE'S GoNE.-The middle aged lady, of
respectable connections, "who never nursed
tree or flower has gone east to marry the
blacksmith by whom "the last link was
broken:
There is sign above German coffee
house in Covington near the Ferry Landing
which reads, "Oystures and pegs Feets and
Tribe" Je-ru-sa-lem! What eatin.
Gin. Commercial.
Theodore Faber, in closing letter to the
N. Y Herald, upon the subject Of "squaring the
circle" says: 'The diameter is contained
| in the circumference exactly 3. 7S45537
times. Mathematicians are respectfully in
vited to prove the contrary. ..a --..
"Just step into the street and I'll give you
a cowhiding," said an indignant citizen to an
| Irishman.
1s.Kape your cowhiding for yourself" repli-
ed Paddy, Il wouldn't DO it if you'd give me
two of them'.'
alone sweet home,'' is song that we
never heard man singing after he had been
married seven or eight years.
A friend of ours says he is very sorry tina,
such a thing was ever printed, for if his wife
sees it she'll mae him sing it for company
| A traveller who has just returned, says there
is a race of men at the extremity of South
America, of such enormous proportions that
they mix their lather in washtub and shave
with scythe. We wonder what they cur
their hair with! cisternpole in all likeli.
hood. o.
A gentleman, who was rather impatient a,
table, declared that he wished he could dc
without servants, as they were greater
"plagues than proft'' "Why not have q
dumb waiter!" suggested friend. "Oh, nor
returned the osher; II have tried them-they
don't dhsWer." il hes i.a i1a - Z,
! WoMEN's WIsDoM.-Some women have
greater portions of learning than wisdom
whichlis of nosbetter use than mainsail t.
a fly boat, which runs it under water; bu
where wisdom and learning are combined in
a virtuously disposed woman, she is like {,
well balanced ship that may bear all hel
sail.
i GABRIcx AND STERSE.-Sterne, who wa.
using his wife very ill, was one day talkinf
to Garrick, in fine sentimental manner, il
4 praise of conjugal love and fidelity. "Tht
j husband" said Sterne, who behaves unkind
ly to his wife, deserves to have his house
burnt over his head" "If you think so,
: said Garrick, IL hope your house is insured
A bear rarely exceeds twenty years;
wolf twenty; a fox fourteen or sixteen
, squirrel or hare seven or eight years; RABBIT
seven; elephants have been known to liv
for hundred years; pigs have been known t.
liz e thirty years; horse has, been known t
live to the age of sixty-two; camels some
times live to the age of one hundred; snee
seldom exceed the age of ten. Couvier con
: siders it probable that whales sometimes lv
one thousand years. Nj. Mallerton has
skeleton of swan that attained the age G
two hundred years.
: FLUEYcY IN CoSvERsATIoN-Roll a
D empty barrel down hill, and what noise
\ makes. So with an empty carriage over tn
n -pavements. So also with an empty head
e When it contains but few scattering idea
, everybody can hear them rattle. You almos
n see them when that fellow who carries sue
head passes by you. Have you not sue
an individual in yonr minds eye! We have
;. His name may be Dick, Jim, Bill, or Joe, bu
he is the same everywhere. ways the sam
! tongue, and shoots forth the same ideas. Ii
thinks he is wise, but every body think
IT otherwise. Had he real knowledge, he woul
d talk less and say more. Generally man
d sterling worth talks but very little yet ever
C word tells. Addison was person of this de:
l. cription. He was always embarrassed in cor
& versation. Some of our best living authors
It men of genius-have been noticed for the
W conversation. Yet men who know scarcel
4 any more than twice two make four, are a
Is ways rafting off words, and pass for person
n OF some consequence. They utter word
lc without meaning, words that would puzzle a
lie editor to understand. An incessant talke
e. we always avoid. In his presence we fee
l. about as happy as on the brow of catarac,
r. In an office or store what is more trying tina
ID person with the gift of the CAB 4! what br
D. a struggling musician under your windo,
era fiddler in your garrett.