Meigs County telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy [Ohio]) 1848-1859, 1853-06-21

waggish sort of fellow, who ridiculed
him by initiating his imperfect manner
of speaking the English language
After patiently listening at him for
sometime the Frenchman cody re-
plied:-
'Mine fine friend, you vud do well
to stop now, for if Sampson had made
no better use of de jaw bone of an ass
dan you do, he would never have killed
SO many Fillistans.'
A professor of chemistry in an cas-
tern college once proposed to his class
to fill the room with laughing gas on
the following day, and try its effects.
the next day the class assembled, and
large jar was placed in the middle of
the room and uncorked. In a few
minutes the most risible began to laugh
and litter, and soon the whole class
was laughing, jumping, and dancing,
and capering around the room in the
widest ecstacy When all were nearly
exhausted with the excess ofmeriment
the Professor gave them instant relief
by telling them there had been no
kind of gas whatever in the jar, and
that the room contained nothing but
common air.
Cur Your GRAss.-If you want
your yards to present green, smooth,
velvety appearance, keep the grass cut
close.-Do not wait until it is knee
high, but cut whenever your scythe
will catch it. Now as often os once in
two weeks.
The man who committed suicide by
turning himself wrong side out and
crawled through his boots, is not ex-
apected to live.
Marrying well, has LOST its original
phrase. The phrase now means how
much money has the man Or woman
got? That's the question If there is
a pile in the bargain, it is an excellent
match.
The Bourbon question has somewhat
abated, and the question is, have we
merchant among us who neither adver-
tises nor takes his home paper?
MYSTERY SoLvED.-when Adam got
tired naming his numerous defendants,
he said "Let all the rest be called
Smith
A LITTLE Girls ExAMpLE-A little
girl about nine years of age the daugh-
ter of a minister, was visiting in fam
lily where. the father did not pray, but
was in the habit of reading a chapter in
the Bible with his family. At night
VIII en- he read the chapter, the child
not knowing all was done, kneeled
down as she was in the habit of doing.
The father saw the child on her knees
and kneeled himself The rest of The
family followed, and soon their father
prayed for the first time in his family
That little girl was the instrument of
leading to that first family prayer.
CoMPLIMENTARY.--A western critic,
in speaking Of a tragedian out that way
says: He would make first rate actor
if he only knew how, and kept well
posted up in it,
A lad a day or since was called to
the witness stand at the Common
Pleas court, whose tender years raised
doubt as to his competency as a wit
ness by not understanding the nature
and obligation of an oath.--The first
question put was-"Are you a son ol
the PLAINTIFF" The little fellow cross
ng his legs and deliberately putting
about a half a paper Of tobacco into
his mouth, replied with the utmost
co olness, "Well, it's so reported" He
testified. .
"Would you like to subscribe fol
Dickens, Household Words?" inquired
sombro magazine agent. House
hold words have played the dickens
with me long enough" was the feeling
reply. The agent absconded.
If dull weather affects you marry a
warm hearted girl and make sunshine
for yourself Bachelors will find this
superior to either billiards OF burgun.
dy try it.
Did you attend church to-day?' said
planter to his slave.
'Sartain, massa' was the reply; ,and
what two mighty big stories dat
preacher did tell
what stories we're they
'Why he tell de people no man Car
serve two masters now dis is de fuss
story, kase YOU see | serve YOU, my