Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1853-11-30
hi. au0 Gumor.

can war, riding on horseback, came across an
1llinoian who was shot in the leg The Hi
nolan told him where he was wounded, and
suggested TO be taken up and conveyed out
Of danger. Arkansas" placed him on the
saddle behind him and fastened him to bim-
self with leather strap. While they were
Fastening from danger, grape shottook al
linois'" head off but ARKANSAS" thought
be had only tainted from fatigue and pain.
When safe place was arrived at, the horse
man, releasing his charge and seang his head
wus gone, exclaimed ell these Illieoians
are the all-6redest liars Here is rascal
with his head off when he told me be was
only shot in the leg You cant believe
word these fellows say
gsy-In the early part of the eighteenth
century, a farmer from little villlge near
Tadcastees was condemned to suffer The ex-
treme penalty of the law, for COW stealing.
His wife called to see him few days previous
to his execution to take her last farewell when
she asked him
my dear, would you like the children to
see you executed?"
"Nol" replied he. what must they come
for 2"
"That's just like you said bis wife "you
never wanted the children to have any enjoy |
mont J"
Hsya"Good morning, Mr. Smith on the
sick list o-day, eh 2"
Yes, sir got the ague."
do You ever shake I"
"Yes shake like thunder
when do you shake again Z"
Cant say when; shake every day Why
do you ask y
"Oh nothing particular; only I thought if
you shook bad, I'd stand by and see if it
wouldn't shake the fifteen dollars out of your
pocket which you owed me so long"
Mr.. Smith sloped.
gs95~"My dear how shall we have our
marriage printed viii you have your name
simply Delilah, or do you stl insist on that
long string of titles you spoke OF yesterday?7
81 do, most assuredly. Do you think I'm
going to be known as simple Delah No,
by all the gods of love you shall have my
name printed thus: Delilah Antoinette Vic
toria Adelaide Maria, and then il you choose,
you can link on your name-but o poor. pig
tail appendage it is
That gal wat a woman's rights man.
cg~"Iansc, where was you born?'
"On de flalaorbarrack.
"Wbat alwaysg"
"Yaw and before, toov
"IIow old are you, then Z"
"When de old school house is built I was
two weeks more nor year. what is painted
red, as you 60 home nit your back behind
you, on the right hand side by de old black
smith shop, what stands where it was burnt
down next year will pc two weeks p
bGs5~The Turkish Ambassador at London
was at public dinner, in company with some
OF the magnates of the land, but, OF course,
drank no wine, The President gave, as a
toast. in compliment to his Excellency, 1.-The
Sublse Porte and the Turkish Ambassador. -
a waiter echoed it down the table "a sup
ply Of port for the Turkish Ambassador"
Rsy-An Irishman going to market met a
farmer with an owl
Say, misther, whatll ye take fur yer big
eyed turkey p says Pat
ats an owl, you beast, replied the aston
ished farmer.
"Dvl bit do care whether its ould or
young, price the bmd, ye spalpeeu"
Bsge'lt's quite too bad of ye, Darby, to
say that your wife's worse than the devil"
ANT place your reverence, | can prove it
by the Holy Scripture Il can by the powers.
Didn't your reverence, in the sermon ycstor
day, till US il we resist the devil, hed flee
from us? Now, if | resist my wife, she flies
at men'
Esy=Tbe water from the Congress Spring
at Saratoga. has been imported into France
The question has been raised, why it was
called Congress water? The obvious answer
of course, did not escape wits, Because it
contained so much gas
Bsay~ Fanny Fern says, that when he who
is striving to rise in the world begins to ex-
hbit superior powers and the possession Of
true genus, be must hide his light under a
bushei, or else have all creation after him,
trying to blow il out
nSy-Wby are good resolutions like faint
ing ladies They want carrying out,