New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1853-05-17
THE BACHELOR AND THE BABY.

tAoe
Once again, last Good night.
Washington, March i, 1853 ELLEN GREY
THE BACHELOR AND THE BABY.
There was no one at home except the baby's
mother, and baby, and l. Baby had Just gone
to sleep, when baby's mother remembered a
trifiing commission which she had promised to
execute for me in the village. With an injunc-
tion to touch the cradle if baby woke, she de-
parted, leaving me proud Of my new employ
ment, and lulled by past immunity into state
of fatal security.
With one eye on my book, and the other on
the cradle, like faithful watch dog, listened
to the retreating football that should have
warned me, but did not :" to look out for
squalls had no idea of the awful response
bility which had taken upon myself, or should
have shrunk from it, as cat does from water,
or mastff from churning- machine. In fact,
l rather suspect that felt in trifing degree
| ambitious that baby should open one eye-only
| one-that might have the pleasure of shutting
| it again. Unwary mortal How little do we
know when we are well off My ambition was
but too soon to be gratifed had yet to learn
by bitter experience how weary is the lot of
chose who-tend on babies
| / wonder whether infants are conscious in
their sleep Of their mothers absence, and know
| that an opportunity has arrived for cutting up
| their didoes'''
The baby, over whose slumbers had become
| the guardian genus-how the flies pitched into
its nose was as sound asleep as any baby
| could be when its mother departed; but no
sooner had her shadow faded from the room than
symptoms Of wakefulness began to appear
First came a sigh; then a chuckle, that said as
plain as chuckle could say, Now for some
fun y then one eye opened and shut, and then
both began peeping about, till the head seemed
inclined to bob off the pillow
felt little nervous at these symptoms-only
a little. "Poh!" said l to myself, 3" a roll or
two of the cradle will soon settle your business,
youngster"
But it did not. Baby was bound to have o
spree. II knew that "its mother was out .
That big, bothersome blue-b bottled fly, too, tret
of watching for the ship over the clock-face
started on voyage of discovery on its own ac-
count, and the first promontory which it reached
was the nose of the baby, tempting spot, upon
which it landed for refreshments, buzzing most
villainously as it did so. 1t was ticklish land
ing, however, and baby soon drove it off with a
sneeze that astonished its nerves, and mine, too,
more than the fy's; for the fly was accustomed
to ticklsh situations. which l was not Baby
was thoroughly reused Up went its round,
chubby arm; but a rock of the cradle soon sent
that back to its place. l did rock that cradle
beautifully. The little head rolled to and fro
as easily as if it had been fastened on by toy
mandarin's neck. l could not help admirinp
myself for the way in which did it, and Lam
sure that any reasonable baby would have gone
to sleep again, if only for compliments sake
but the baby in the cradle didn't. The moment
like Judy's in the show, with a small peevish
cry. That cry! it was like the &c fizzing Of the
fuze OF a powder magazine, sure to end in an
explosion.
We're you ever reused in the middle of the
night by the maid-of- all-work coming in her
slippers and night-cap to inform you that the
house was on fire. DID you ever stand near q
Dutchman who was weighing powder with o
lighted cigar in his mouth Did you ever stand
over the boiler of q Mississippi steamboat, and
expect every moment to be landed on the tree.
) tops half a mile inland' If not, you cannot
conceive my horror when l heard that cry.
was in cold perspiration from head to foot
have no boubt that hail-stones as big as peas
might have been picked off my forehead
rocked for dear life, and baby bounced about
like ball of Indian-rubber But it was al
useless. sang all the songs that could think
! Of from the Cabalistic " "hushababy!" to Cease
rude Boreas!" | tried tenor, and tried base
, but the baby did not know the difference. II
) seemed to think it all base. The louder sang
the louder it cried 1t was bawl and squall
and squall beat. The cry peevish became the
cry indignant, and the cry indignant became
= the squal imperative. Blue-bottle buzzed with
while the clock kept up tantalizing $50 it
60 it,"
: In an unlucky moment, lifted the little tenn
pest out OF the cradle, Never, never, never will
. commit such an act of thoughtless impudenc,
i again! Before did so, could have truly sans
! with the poet, =" The white squall raves" bu
. afterwards the iercest blasts of Boreas seeme(
belching from that little throat
In the hope of quieting the tornado, took i
| arms. WaddlQd II IN nd fro fba m
! tossed him up and down till my shoulder
/ ached; dandled it on my knees, now the right
= one, now the left; but nothing would do. Lik
: an easterly gale, that multiplied squall seemed
1, |. to be endless. l felt really alarmed l wa
completely terrified. l saw visions of conyul
sions and such like ills that infant IS flesh il
heir to-" If / had been in the city, am sur
that crowd would have been collected. Imigh
have been taken up and accused Of an attemp
to commit lnfanticide perhaps been publishe'
: in the papers as wretch guilty of cruelty t
Z dumb animals. Dumb! How wished that tn
: : dear family organ had been dumb! even en-
i wed the deaf men that pick up cinders
!, i looked at the clock, and exclaimed, in des
pair, " When will the mother return I" and tn
i clock answered, with mocking monotony, No
yet not yetp Blue bottle had ceased its buz
4 zing, and returned to its old quarters over tn
q dlai-plate, to watch for the re appearance Q
s the ship; perhaps asking, as impatiently as
did, the question, s'When will she return 7
while the clock continued to repeat, increasingly
"Not yet not yetr'
knew not what to do, and rushed doze
times to the door, hoping to see the coming re
lief. But the walls Of the distant church an
the houses beyond were thick, and could nc
look through them. The brook was laughing i
the sunshine, and murmuring joyously as
glided over the stones, and l felt strong temp
tation to pop the piping part of the baby into i
am sure the clock cried, mockingly, DO it
do ite' But the thought of Coroner's jur
: restrained me; country jury Of Dutch boor
layers of brick thick
There was rooster upon the fence, fappin
his wings and growing like Trojan-I do b
lieye 1t was over my psrplsxityj the pigs wer
Erantins " their w. rullsr1 saeh etavxs eks