The weekly Placer herald., 1853-01-01
VARIETIES.

Iolt as III q sweet Drlcr was climbing
up her chair, while honey suckles so
hid the legs of the table, that she
thought she was in Paradise regain
ed Poor girl she had it bad.
Some folks are easily glorified.-
We once knew man who became
so elated because he was elected first
sergeant in the militia, that he went
home and put a silver plate on his
door.--Ollapod, in speaking of this
kind of people, makes mention of one
Sabine, who was so overjoyed the
first time he saw his name in the
list of letters published by the post
office, that he, called his friends to-
gether and put them through on
woodcock and champagne.
Frogs, observes a recent writer, are
excellent in fricassee, or fried with
crisped parsley But they must be
bred, and fed with view to the ta-
BILE, or they may turn out no better
than the snails on which DR.. Fergu-
son, the historian, and DR.. Black, the
chemist, attempted to regale in imita-
ton of the. ancients. These learned
Scotch Professors caused a quantity
of common snails to be collected in
the fields and made into kind of
soup. They took their seats oppo-
site to each other, and set to work in
perfect good faith. A mouthful or
two satisfied both that the expert
ment was failure; but each was
ashamed to give in first. At last,
Black, stealing look at his friend
ventured to say, Dinna we think
they're little green? D-d greenn
emphatically responded Ferguson;
''tak' 'em ava, TAX 'em awaw
Somebody says there are two
kinds of family jars; into one you
put your sweetmeats, and into the
other you put--your foot.
The Albany Register, in a notice
of the fruit market, says: peaches
are on their last legs" This strange
expression reminds one of the story
of the Tishman, who shortly after
arriving in this country, accompani-
ed a Yankee on a marauding expe-
dition into peach orchard in the
night time. II say Tom does pach-
es have legs?" enquired he, after he
had been groping about the limbs of
the tree for while. "No! you fool"
was the reply. "Then, be jabers, I've
swallowed a straddle bug"
When the ex-hydrogen microscope
was first exhibited in Edinburg,
poor woman, whose riches could
never retard her ascent to the king
dom above, took her seat in the lee
ture room where the wonders of the
instrument were shown, and which
were, for the first time, to meet her
sight. A piece of lace was magnif-
ed into a salmon net; flea was met
amorphsed into an elephant; and 9TH
er like marvels were performed be-
fore the eyes of the venerable dame,
who sat in silent astonishment star
ing open mouthed at the disk. But,
when at length, a milliner's needle
was transformed into a poplar tree,
and confronted her with its huge
eve, she could hold in no longer
"My goodnessw she exclaimed, "a
camel could get through that
There's some hope for the rich folks
yeti"
"Does Pa kiss you because he
loves you?" inquired little snubby
nosed urchin of his maternal ances-
tor, the other day. "To be sure,
sonny, why?" oval, I guess he
loves the kitchen girl, too, for | seen
him kiss her more than forty times
last Sunday, when you was gone to
meeting" atta .a
The man who was hurt by a burst
of applause is recovering, and the in
dividual who was injured by the ac-
cidental discharge of his duty is still
very low.
A wag says he knows one thing