Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1853-12-08

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@ Simms says u Il Wasut for the hole IN
the hoop you couldn't put Il in 70 the barrel.
and the barrel would burst
H The man who put on "seriOu, frame
Iot mind" ands that some Of the timber. ar.
not well jointed,
R An old maid in speaking CT marriage.
say It is like any other ailing, while there's life
there's hops.
~ PsrsOu Milton, Of NcwburypOrt. va.
oaee called upon for prayer at a Fourth Of yu
" dinner. and gave: 20 Lord, deliver US
from sham patriotism for Chnst's saks, amen. I"
~ To decide against oneself is q trick Of
delicate minds. Doctor JOhnsOa warned his
lends to beware Of it, "scrupulOus tempers."
said he. make few people good, aud man '
miserable"
RE A Yankee down east has invented tb;.
specific for the use Of gold hunters. The oDer.
alton is to grease himself we'll, lie down on the
top OF bill, and then roll to the bottom. Tn.
gold aud nothing else" will stick to him
Price s94 per box.
AZ There is sman down east, rather IA.
ee'ous chap. whose name is New. He named
p" hrst child Something; it was Something
New. His next child was called Nothing. !.
being Nothing New.
GS- HIS LAsr.-The young man who was
too aristOcratc to associate with mechanics
was, when last heard from. excepting book, I"
'Or street carton the tailbOard. with a piece
Of chalk. -
ES The following is copy Of bill posted
in this vicinity:-"A lecture on total abstinence
will be delivered in the open ar and a collection
will be made at the door to dsfr4y expen.
ses."
~ "Sophia Maria, did you receive my let.
teri" 81 did, Frederick" IL wrote It in hone
Of raising fame" "well. Frederick, and
you succeeded, for | put it Immediately on the
6re."
H A mathematician being asked by
stout fellow "'f two pigs weishtweaty pounds, i.
how much will large hog weight" He re.
plled' Jump into the scales and will tell
you Immediately"
GT Rose Partington says she never cared
much about grand spectacle, or other sight but
here are two things she would like to have
'een--the inculcation of Frank Pierce and
Corporation of Queen Victoria.
EE II. H. S".-These letters are seen !,
he Cartholc Episcopal and some other Church
., and ia the prayer books Of those seats
They are authorizations Of the Laia phrass
Jesus Hominum Salvador" which signifies
Jesus the Savior Of men," The letter Is
lsed because formerly there was no letter in
be Roman Alphabet.
EF "Did be net make several visit. .hs~
he patient was out of danger?' WAS the cues.
ION OF a!awyer, in cross-examinating witness
0 prove doctors bilk ''No," replied the
''10ess' I thought the patient '0as IN danger
$ long as the-doctOr contiaued his visits" /,
G1 A gentleman hayiag occasion to call
pen physician. The other day. stopped a. the
oof and rung the hell. The summons was
nswered oy an Irish servant girl, of whom he
nqured difthe Doctor vas in. mo" "Wss
us lady in?" Eyes" "Was she engaped?"
he girl looked at him for moment and a !
uriOus expression rested on her fatures as she 4
ePled' "Indade sir she's already married"
- crack Drained man, who was sighted
y females very modestly asked a young lady,
'Hshe would let him spend the evening with
ler." {
NO." she angrily replied. "that's what I
ron't." p
"Why." replied he, "yOu needn't be SO fuz.
y; didn't mean this evening, but some stor.
~ one, when can't go any wAsre else"
- Young mother who is extremely senti. :
nental on noticing that her frst-born in the
radle, Is sexceedinsIy restless )--"The angels !,
re whispering to thee, ny own darling babe. - >
Grandmother Extremely matter CT fact)-
Nosuch thing. Laura; the child has only got
ind in its stomach"
~ There was some considerable meaning O
the reply given to rich, pompous and c,
within bounds"hard drinker, (who every day q
tank Just too much, and not much too much a
topper who would get drunk whenever 0
had an opportunity: '.Jim. why do you a
axe beast of yourself 10 this way? WHY LII
'nt you drink as | do? II W w.ould Colo. N
H. u had the means-haven't the m cans o,
oIoneh" The bystanders, who we'll knew
W much more the Colonel could and did c,
ink than this Weaker aI hrothar lau,.k "A -