New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1853-05-16

of the necessity Of being fed. Ears long, (my
schoolmaster had a great habit of elongating
them by hard and frequent pulling)
PRESENT OCCUPATION.
A Gallatin street politician, imbibing small
beer, lunching when invited, and pronouncinf
glowing eulogies on yourself and all democratic
creation.
CHARACTER AND QUALIFICATIONS.
My friend Peter McGregory (who has never
asked more than $500 for his valuable aid to
our partly shall satisfy you by the following
/, Peter McGregory, hereby certify upon my
word of honor as gentleman, that well know
John Brown--that his character is as good as it
ought to be-that it was he who put in twenty
nice votes (on the sly, and with no unnecessary
delay in waiting for citizenship for HILBERT
that there is no danger of his character being
injured by anything. present or to come; that
he cannot be bought for any unreasonable or
insignificant consideration; and that he is de-
cidedly in favor of the party in power, and
always has been. further certify, in the mat
ter Of QUALIFICATIONS, that he can do as much
as the majority Of applicants for Office can, viz
sign his name legibly to the nDnthly pay roll.
Duly sworn to, by my honor as a gentleman,
May 10th, 1858, (Anno Domini, not Anti Demo-
crat.) PETER MICROSCOPY
The above, hope, will be entirelnatisfactory
| RESIDENCE.
| l must frankly state that have found the
larger number of landladies obnoxious to my sen.
sitive feelings as gentleman, and rather dis
posed to annoy me about small pecuniary mat
tiers, which your appointment of me will, my
dear and Hon. Sir, enable me to lquidate-ulti-
mately. My last landlady for some time faithful
ly obeyed the Scriptural injunction to SC Watch
and pray wide documents), but has unfortu-
nately lost grace by losing her temper and, sud-
denly and in the most impolite manner, dismiss
ing me from her house. She thought she had
(poor, misguided soul !! watched me and prayed
for funds long enough.
Now, how to answer the question of esresi-
dence" puzzles me. &C Residence" implies some
thing permanent, place to which man may go
back and sit down again, whenever he chooses
am too progressive to remain long in one place,
and being Of the fast /" Young America" order,
object to everything standing, except standing
accounts. make it rule q made rules, like
yourself, for my governmentso, metime since) to
keep ahead of my landladies and their accounts
At present, l reside promiscuously among my
accommodating friends, who are scattered all
over town, and to the care of any Of whom you
can address me letter. l breakfast, dine and
sup at the Shades, st. Louis, Veranda, st.
Charles, City Hotel, Gem, or Woods, according
to the appearance of things or persons, at II,
A. NJ, of every day. Some nights, when no
friend is convenient or inviting, having fancy
for observation, 1 quietly perambulate the
streets, and could, therefore, afford you much
local information of curious character.
- CITY, DISTRICT AND STREET
All over the city--confned to no &c district"
because metropolitan; and in no particular
street, because, Mr.. Hon. S.!W. Downs, /, indie
pendently advise you as friend, that you might
engage in some larger, better, more decent, re-
spectacle. and gentlemanly business, than
hunting up my number on - street, to
poke your handsomely sharpened and elongated
nose into my kitchen, chuckle my kitchen SER
wants under the chin, pump my family secrets
out Of their good humored confidence, learn
whether had a chop or steak for breakfast, ask
if had paid my baker and butcher, etc. Come,
Mr.. Hon. S. W. Downs, /, John Brown, think |
you may be clever enough to be Collector and |
give me an office, but do not think you have |
my particular business to know exactly where /
,eople live. unless, like some scantily clothed
COUNTRY schoolmaster, you wish to board around,
generally, &c free, gratis, for nothing" If you
eally want dinner, have cousin "a poor
evil of whig) who keeps house, and who will
ban me his establishment for the occasion
Viii you dine with me the day after you APP
oint me' (N.B. 1t is not true, as maliciously
eported, that sleep without sheets, between
lankets, and wear dickey)
You urge upon applicants not to be "a in a
urry." OF course, they should not &c all speak
once" Note me, and mark how deliberate
am, Why, my dear sir, am the most patient
an alive. will give you an illustration Just
r the fun of the thing, and for small pecu-
airy consideration, | engaged with the wax
'ure man at Commercial Hail. Skupinsky
he Philadelphia murdererl had had his head
cidentally knocked off, and by particular re-
lest occupied his place for the balance of the
cning, in motionless dignity, and to the great
light of "A large and intelligent throng of COM
stely humbugged visitors. Now, did you ever
ar of a more extraordinary case of composure ;
d patiencei Of course, you cannot suspect,
ter this explanation, that am ' in hurry" {
Your organ says that you have found it ex- I
dent to adopt certain rules for the conven-
ice of all parties" This announcement was
lite unnecessary. You and I, both, know that /,
u, long since, adopted certain rules for the
nvenience of all parties" Qrefer to your q