The Belmont chronicle, and farmers, mechanics and manufacturers advocate. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1848-1855, 1853-09-23

make nlmSali clearly unuerStOOd Dy the court
and jury, should not SO long have trespassed
upon your time and patience. Come for
ward, Mr.. Harris, and be sworn.
So forward comes the witness, fat,
chuffy old gentleman, "leetle" corned, and
took his oath with an air.
Chops.-Harris, we wish you to tell all
about the riot that happened the other day at
Captain Rice's, and as good deal of time
has already been wasted in circumlocuton,
we wish you to be compendous, and at the
same time as explicit as possible.
Enthusiastically, (giving the lawyer a
knowing wink, at the same time clearing
his throat,) Captain Rice, he gin treat, and
Cousin Sally billiard, she come over to our
house and axed me il my wife, she mountn't
60. told Cousin Sally billiard that my wife
was poorly, being as how she had the rheu-
matics in the hip, and the big swamp was in
the road, and the big swamp was up for
there hai been a heap of rain lately, but
howsomever, as it was she, cousin Sally
Dillary, my wife she mought 60. Well,
cousin Sally billiard then asked me il Nose
he moutn't 60. I told cousin Sally billiard
that he was the foreman Of the crap, and the
crap was smartly in the grass; but, how
somever, as it was she, cousin Sally billiard,
Nose he mout go
Chops-In the name or common sense, Mr..
Harris, what do you mean by this rig
marole!
Witness-Captain Rice, he gin treat,
and cousin Sally billiard she came over to
our house and axed me ifmy wife she moutn't
go. told cousin Sally Dillard-
Chops--Stop sir, if you please; we don't
want to hear anything about your cousin
Sally billiard and your wife-tell us about
the fight at Rice's.
Witness--Well, will, sir; that is if you
will let me.
Chops-Well sir; go on.
Witness-Wel, Captain Rrice, he gin a
treat, and cousin Sally billiard she came
over to our house, and axed me if my wife
she moutn't GO
Chops-There it is again: witness, please
to stop.
Witness-Well sir, what do you want!
Chops-We want to know about the fight,
and you must not proceed in this impertmenti
story. Do you know anything about the
matter before the court!
Witness--To be sure do.
Chops-Well, you 60 on and tell it, and
nothing else.
Witness-Well, Captain Rice he gin a
treat
Chops-This is intolerable. move that
court; he seems to be triAing with the
court.
Court-Witness, you are now before a
court of justice, and unless you behave your
self in more becoming manner, you will be
sent to Jail; so begin and relate what you
know about the fight at Capt. Rice's.
Witness. (alarmed)-Well, gentlemen,
Capt. Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally
Dillard-
Chops-I hope this witness may be ordered
into custody.
Court, (after deliberating)- Attorney,
the court is of the opinion that we may save
time by telling the witness to 60 on in his
own way. Proceed, Mr.. H. with your story,
but stick to the point.
Witness-Yes, gentlemen; well, Capt.
Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally she
come over to our house, and axed me if my
wife she mought 60. | told cousin Sally
billiard that my wife she was poorly, being
as how she had the rheumatics in the hip,
and the big swamp was up; but howsom-
ever, as it was she, cousin Sally billiard, she
mought go. Well, cousin Sally billiard then
axed me if Nose he moutn't go. | told
cousin Sally billiard as how Nose, he was
the foreman of the crap, and the crap was
smartly in the grass, but howsomever, as it
was she, cousin Sally billiard, Nose he
mought 60. So they goes on together,
Nose, my wife, and cousin Sally billiard, and
they came to the big swamp, and it was up,
as was telling you; but being as how there
was log across the big swap, cousin Sally
billiard and Nose, like genteel folks, they
walked the log, but my wife like darned
fool, hosted her coats and waded through
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