Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1853-08-25
Household Orders.

pup fogs.
Household Orders.
Rachel go and comb your hair,
Betsy. stop your laughing there!
Kate, make haste aud wash the dishes,
Susan. mend father's-pantaloons
Sammy, run out ard feed The hogs,
jim. go out and bring some logs!
I'll whip you John. you know | will,
If you don'tsiop kicking Bill!
vA husband and wife. travelling
through tie woods in haste, met with
melancholy accident, which is recorded
in the following strain: ......
While retrea ting through the woods,
and through the tangled fern,
He tore his must t-'nt-mention-em
And had to put on hern! ..
u Fubbs, while recently engaged in
splitting wood. struck false blow, caus-
ing the stick TO fly up. Il struck him
on the jaw, and knocked out front
tooth. "Ah," said Bill. (who met him
soon after "you have had a dental ope-
ration performed, | see" "Yes," re-
piled the sufferer, "are.idental And
by such pun he reyenged himself upon
fate.
fsThe happiest period of mans
life is when he has pretty. amiable
wife. one beautiful child, more ready
cash than he well knows what to do
with, good clear conscience, and not in
debt for his paper.
MAKING AuGER HOLES WITH GIN
LEr.-'My boy, what are you doing
with tha, gimlel!" said to a flaxen-
headed urchin, who was laboring with
all his might at piece OF board before
him.
Trying to make an auger hole," was
the reply. without raising his eyes
Precisely the business of at least two
thirds Of the world--making auger holes
with gimlel!
Here is young A. who has esca ped
from the clerks desk behind the counter.
He sports moustache, carries rattan,
drinks champagne. talks about the prof,
Of banking or shaving notes. He thinks
he is really great man; but every body
around him sees that he is only "making
auger holes with gimlet."
Miss G. Is nice, pretty girl, and she
might be very useful, too. for she has
intelligence enough--but she must be
the ton--goes to plays, s,lounges on sofas,
keep her bed till noon, imagines she is
belle, ,disdains abor,forgets or tries to for
get, that her father was mechanic--and!
all for what! Why she is trying to work
herself into the belief tha. an auger hole
can be made with gimlet.
D-"What is that dog barking at,"
asked a fop. whose boots were more
polished than his ideas. "Why," re.
piled byslander. "because he sees am,
other puppy in his boots"
g"Prisoner. stand up. Are yous
guilty or not gullty!"
''Failh. do you think I'd be doing the
work of the jury for 'em when the y re
paid for il! I.e. 'em find il on, them.
selves"
NO "ONDER. - ho ielIOW WhO.'
couldn't "contain himself" was found
upon inquiry, to contain about quart Of
the fluid extract Of corn!
Why is legislator mos, BIAS
phemous mani Because he can't take
his seat without an oath.
Why is man in prison like a,
leaky boali Because he wanis bailing
out.
UA writer fiom "away down in old
VirginnY." says that since the ministers
have been preaching TO the slaves abou,
the immortality of dancing. nearly the
whole of them, SO grea. is their convie-
tion, have "laid down the fiddle and the
bow" and taken to gambling.
UPrinters, with nine children, are To
be exempt from mtaxa,ion in The State ef
New York