Weekly national intelligencer. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1841-1869, 1853-05-21
THE BACHELOR AND THE BABY.

had promised to execute for me in the village. With
njundon touch the cradle baby woke she departed
leaving me proud of my employment and lued by
past immunity into state of fatal security.
With eye my boot and the other the cradle,
like afaithful Watchdog listened to the rereatng foot
fall tt should have warned me, but did not, to look
out fofsquas" had idea Of the awful responsibility
whichI had taken upon myself should have shrnk from
it, as acat does from water mastf from churnng ma
chine. In fact rather suspect that felt in trlhng do
gree ambitious that baby should open eyeonly one
Imght have the pleasure Of shutting it again Unwary
mortal How little do know when are well on! MY
amb but tob graihed had yet to learn
bitter experience how weary is the lot of those who-tend
wonder whether infants are their sleep Of
mothers absence and know that opportunity has ar
The baby over whose sumbers had the guardian
ns sss sss soaa A. hso h M mother en.a b
no shadow Ole yWpsoma
chucke tina. said as plain as shaekis could say for
some fun; then opened and shut md then both be-
peepng about till the head seemed inc to bob of the
pillow. felt little at these symp OmsoElya little
" Poh, said to myself roll two Of the cradle VII
settle your business, younger But did not Bay
bound have SPREE 1t knew that ats mother out"
That big bothersome fly, tired of watching for
the ship the clock face started voyage Of discovery
its account and the first promonory which reched
the Of the baby tempting spot upon which iand
ed refreshments buzzing most vianouy as did 3d. 1t
tcksh landing, however, and baby drove off
with that astonished its mine
than the fys for the fly was accustomed to ticklish tua
tions, which was not Baby thoroughly reused Up
went it's round chubby but rock Of the cradle
sent that back place. did rock cradle beautifully.
The little head rolled to and fro easily If il had been
fastened Oh by toy mandarn's neck could not help nd
mirng myself for the way in which did it, and
that reasonable baby would have sleep again. if
only for compliments sake but the baby in the cradle didn't
The the rocking ceased up popped the little head
like Judy in the show with small peevsh cry That cry
it was like the fixing of the fuse Of powder magazine,
to end in explosion.
Were you reused the middle of the night by the
work coming in her slippers and nightcap to
form that the house fire Did you stand by
a Dutehman who was weighing gunpowder with lighted
cigar IN his mouths Did stand over the boiler OF
Mississippi steamboat and expect every moment to be landed
on the tops half mile nlanda If not you cannot
ceive my horror when heard that cry in cold per-
praon from head foot have doubt that hailstones
big peas might have been picked off my forehead
rocked for dear life, and baby bounced about like ball
of Indiarubber But it useless. sang all the songs
could think of from the cabatc "Hushababy to Cease,
rude Boreas tried tenor and tried bass but the baby
did know the difference 1t seemed think all base
The louder sang the loudsr cried twas bawl and squa
and squal beat The cry peevsh became the cry indig
nant cry indignant became squal imperative.
Bluebotte buzzed with delight and danced honpipe
the window, while the clock kept up analzing Go it
go itw
In unlucky lifted the little tempest Of the
cradle. Never, never will act of
thoughess imprudence again Before did could
truly sang with the poet The white qual but af
terward the blasts Of Boreas seemed bechug from
that little throat In the hope of quiepg the tornado
it in waddled to and fro the toesed and
down till my shoulders ached danded on my knees now
the right oue the left but nothing would do Like
easterly gale that multiplied squa seemed to be endless
felt really alarmed was completely tsrriaed saw VI
sons Of convusons and such like ills that infant fesh
heir to- If had been in the city, that crowd
would have collected might have been taken up and
cused Of attempt to commit tnancdeperhaps been pub
anbaals. Dumb How wish that dear family organ
t"esd at the @ and 4snea u ass When viii
the mother retunG and the clock answered with mockng
monotony, mot yeti yet" Blue bottle had ceased its
buzzng and returned to its old quarters the dial pae
TO watch for the eaPpearance Of the ship
as impateny asI did, the question: "When will she return "
while the clock continued 70 repeat INCREASINGLY Not yet
: not yeti"
) knew what do and rushed a dozen times the
door hoping see the coming relief But the walls Of the
church and the houses beyond thick and could
not through them The brook laughing in the
shine and murmurng joyousy it gdod the stones,
and felt strong temptation 70 pop the piping part Of the
do t" But the thought of corOners jury restrained
country jury of Dutch boors with short pipes in their mouths
and skulls two layers Of brick thick.
There rooster upon the fence tapping his wings and
Growing like Truan-I do believe IL perplex XII
y the pigs gruntng in their sty pulling each others
ears for amusement and COW was giving nourshment to
her calf in atistant field. Suddenly bright idea struck
seized old tobacco that had been slowed upon
the mantepiece and mmersng the bulb in tumbicr Of
thrust the stem into the babys msuth Baby
genius. became satisfied Of that in minute Iis attri
Of genius to accomplish its desires with imperfect nstru
There oppage in the pipe tried il myself
was at my wits end and laid the baby the floor,
u examining my fingers into my II OF could
shut the sound 1t like thousand piercing
pipes drilling through and through rddcd with
touched like gayanic every The
catter Of mill with hundred girls talk
ing Of bonnets through the din, nothing to H. All
the locomotives in the Union tortured into state Of agony
would alone compare with it. But mill and locomotive might
be stopped and baby could not be uietSd for moment
seeming to acquire new pipes at every blast.
What would not have given for the sight Of petcoat
bearing down my reef1 Never did Robinson Crusoe
desert island gaze ongngy the in search
ofn sail than did down the road for bonRet and cus
could smiled lovingly the ttest dowager
sweercd the West Indies the hinnes pays
deyoOns the door-steps But the feminine like
useful commodities had all vanished when wanted
Even the cat accustomed to nursing she the
cat sensible creature, had disappeared.
Like the distressed hero Of novel, left my
resources and had left There baby hop-
ping about the door like aporpoise ships deck IL
lying s beam ends a natural position rghted
dozen times, hut 1t again, all its ballast had
shifted TO the head brought the shovel and tongs and
bellows from the fireplace but baby wouldn't look them
bit Of IT. although took the trouble blow bel
lows in the bueboes face, and the threads the
pet flying about the Even the clothesbrush and
Crater proved attraction and broke suspender
ton hopping about like frog all fours. IL had stood
head and shook the pennies Of pockets would
have hud effect Even lump Of sugar would bribe II
savagey into the pillow turned Indignantly from the
kettle, and squared of the rolling pin IL had given
the carving knife DO verify believe that would have
off its head, and made qras instead Of but
forbore. Give me credit for my magnanmity forbore-
Eos nearly mortal hour-an age-was thus kept in
ste Of fren My hairs stood up ke quils the fret
fu porcupine They have always stubborny refused 10 liz
down smoothly II my trial had lasted much longer,
should certainly have had gray head upon young shoul
ders Perhaps should have sunk into the grave with
fever and had Died o. baby nursing epap
upon my tombstone Fortunately for the public general AM
in particular, was spared such catastrophe by the
Of the mother who burst painting into the room at
critical when my Job-like patience had miserabl
perishedby degrees the water leaks hoop
cd bucket With What feeling Of relief did look up at tn
old clock announced me- its cheerful tones
: " She's come she's come y