Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1853-07-20
A PATENT SERMON.

PATENT SEkMON.
My text this morning is contained in these
words: .
How solveless is woman! How loving is
woman How childlike is woman!
My hearers-sure enough, how solveess is
woman! She is an unguessable riddle--a most
intricate enigma a flower which, by Analysing,
no one can tell TO certainty whether it be poi
sonous or innoxous-not always She has been
with man from the beginning and he hasn't
found her out yet. She is comparatively an un-
explored country-an alphabet of hieroglyph-
ics-a magnetic mystery No body knows
what her heart contains. Sometimes it seems
stuffed with love, tenderness and sympathy !;
and at others filled with nothing but grit and
gravel. 1t won't answer to shake her You
cause the acids and alkaies in her heart to come
in contact, and then such an effervescence takes
place as might lower the ambition of pearlash
and cider
Like the month of April, she is all sunshine
and flowers. Many tear-drop evaporates in
the warm light Of smiie ere it has chance
to fall; and many bright smile is suddenly
quenched by sprinkle of some passing cloud
of sorrow about the size of blanket.
Griefs bubble up from her BOSOM to burst in
an atmosphere Of joy, like autumnal flowers,
spring from the warm bed of her heart, to be
cut down by the sudden frost of grief A queer
compound is woman She is made of modesty,
holiness, beauty, silks, and satins, jealousy.
love, hatred, horsehair, whalebone, piety, paint,
gaiety, gum-elastic, bears grease sympathy,
tears, smiles, affection and Kindness She talks
with her tongue, speaks with her eyes, is elo-
quent in her actions, and yet | cannot under
stand it.
My friends how tender is woman! She is
as tender as chicken, and as tough rs an old
gobbler. She must be screened from the hot
summers sun-sheltered from the blast Of win
ter, and yet if she makes up her mind 10 do it,,
she can ont sweat the sun, face Northeastern,
and be match for the devil. But inwardly,
she is as tender as the mercies Of heaven her
heart is rs much softer thana mans as bees
wax is softer than brick-bat. Her sympathies
are as delicate as down on angels wings and
her love appears as fresh and unfading amid the
sorrows of adversely, as the evergreen wreath
that encircles the brow of old winter. Her
tenderness is too tough to be destroyed by
whatever chance, fortune or time may bring ;
as tough rs tripe, and twice as common.
My hearers--how loving is woman. Ave-
she is amazingly sickly in her attainments. She
will cling to the chosen object of her heart like
possum TO a gum tree, and You can't separate
her without swapping strings that no art can
mend, and leaving portion of her soul upon
the upper leather of her affections. She will
sometimes see something to love, where Others
can discover nothing to admire and when her
fondness is once fastened on fellow, it sticks
like glue and moasses in bushy head of hair
My hearers how child-like is woman A play
thing herself she is fond of every playhing in
the worlds great toy shop. Her home is the
realm of fancy, her existence, is very ideal real
ity, her very miseries are mingled with pleas
ing romance-her present is always bright, and
her future still brighter. Would that | were
woman, to be pleased with every poesy that
pops its head above the weeds of wicked world
and have no thorns to modest me, whilst gath
ering the wild flowers of Imagination. Child.
like, woman is very happy. TickleG with the
straw of fattery; delighted with every rainbow
tinted bubble that floats upon the wave of time
las antic as young coon is by moonlight, and
as a cricket, she dances in the sunlight of jov
and seems to use every endeavor TO coax us
male, moody moras into brighter and happier
paths. So mote it be! Dow, Jr.