Washington sentinel. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1853-1855, 1853-09-24
@asbinstun S,ntintl.


The following amusing law pint" from a
correspondent Of the KSIcxERBocKER for Sep
TENDER, is, as the editor Of that able periodical
remarks, ''too good to sleep in manuscript
MARK S. was very fair specimen OF
that class Of pettifoggers who thrive in some
of the by-towns. He had, in his early youth,
(shrewd people suspected possessed con.
science; but coming to years OF discretion, he
had dispensed with the superiority, and now
stood untrammelled. Mark used to try small
causes in Justices courts, and looked upon
himselfa as model Of jurisprudence. His prin-
cipal forte, and that on which he prided HIM
self most, lay in the examination of witnesses.
Mark boosted that he could "worm the truth
out Of a stone;" and perhaps he could; he had
wormed the truth completely out VI himself,
and he Appropriated somewhat To a stone. In
consequence of some rather "sharp practice in
suit in which he oaiciated both ns counsel
aud witness. Mark had reason to suspec> that
the district attorney was repairing in merry
way, an indictment against him for perjury;
aud being DISPOSED 10 humor the Joke, he ear
ried il oat still fnrther--and HIM self with il;
disappearing from his accustomed haunts, and
until the affair had blown over, saiourning--
''on little law-business' ~ he atterward sad,
when thereto closely inierrogaied--on Snpr.
hall, a kind Of Nhr-friars, cit, Of refuge for
small criminals; being the same place Of which
somebody said the inhabitants had broken
every law, Sal bath, AMI sherlfi"s head, for the
last ten years. And Mark made a good Snipe-
lillian, tor he wasn't the man Ia resist public
opinion-"not by no means
Well, after his return, he was one day try
ing a cause before Justice, in his usual happy
way, in which he had exerted himself if pos.
sib'e, more than usual To render the position
Of the witnesses unhappy. AT last, a boy was
called AS witness By the opposition, to whom
Mark objected, on the ground of his simplicity,
that he WAS "nOa compost as Mark sagely
remarked, and he insisted on the roir dire.
The boy was accordingly sworn on the pre-
hminary examination, and Mark, assuming his
sternesi face, and looking at the boy as though
he would eye him into a fit
boy" said he "Who made you?"
. he Lord, thpothe," lisped the boy: "Who
made your"
Never mind who made me- said Mark,
folks say YOU are fool How il it?"
do they?' answered the witness; "thath
no thigh. Thome folkth thay't you won't
cheat. Folkth ,ciH lie, you thee
boy, no impertnence!" said Mark, glover
ing 6ercely, as the justice checked the subdued
smoker that ran around the room. Suppose
you were to commit perjury do you know
what that means?n
HYeth, sir: thwearing to lie; juth what yoa
did lath winter, amt i'll"
"The witness is clearly incompetent rank
foolW appealed Mark to the court; but the court
"couldn't see it So" and Mark proceeded:
"Well, suppose you were to commit perjury,
and swear falsely? Where would you go to?"
ITO Thnipe-Hill, / thpothe," drawled the
boy, "where you went latht winter!h
The court smiled a grim smile, and the boy
was admitted to testify. Mark didn't gain that
suit, as appears from the Justices docket.