Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1853-10-20
VARIETY.

- Bosten kboss thst Father Streeser mar
riet more folks ia tie course Of current
year that any two or4en diYines in. the Uni
ted States 1T beats all how many mea aud
wsnsn the old fellew ties up and causes TO
trot ii douhls harness through life Net
lepg since, r9ral district youth and his
! Psyche came To Father Streeter to be liked
ous according to law and gospel. Well, the
Ola gan.leman put en- through il the regu.
larsnanner.
.Hawmueh hev got to pay for this jobl'
>r.Ts the newly m anufsctured husband draw.
inr ont his Pocket-book'
sdh, welll said the old gentleman, 4 al
waJs feaye tia. to TIA bridegroom, just as
~sWslI, ddnt want to 5. mean about it,
~ Mr.. Ssrester. don't care a cent what yea
charge, only al US how much would be
I'aIne particular, sir-suPPoss w say
i've dollars Sam Hill. but you dO,stiOk
ON e Why! know of feller you married
last faA fer two dollars
'Kery likely, sir said TIE cid gentleman,
I dl, but le'sa regular customer I've
married him fire times, and can afford 70
de It lower. IN
~ gentleman having remarkable
floag yisage, MAS ene~day riding by school.
at lie gate ef whish be overheard young
Sheridan sayIto saother lad
I .That genttsmin's face IS longer thaa bis
life'
+ Struek bp the slraRgeness Of thisrudc OBJ.
servation, thd anlturned his horses head,
and requested han explanation.
SIR safi Tie boy, i mean. no offence in
the world but,I have read ia tie Billie
that. . mans life il but a spap, and ! am
sure ytnr fade is double that length
Tho gentleman could not help laughing.
aaa ha threw the lad sixpence for his wit
n9rA gentleman waslately in party of
ladies', when ths sabjGct Of conversation turn
ed upsn martiage In answer to a question
from one Of the party whether be was mar
RED nan hoEinteuded 10 reply
= sYes. madam, aud can offer no stronger
proof Of nv approbatisa Of wedloek than that
myselfhaHe had the misfortune to bury
enc yifs, and tie happiness to marry aaoth
er' s
Instead 81 this, be ualuckily inverted the
sentence thus
" have had tho .plea4ure, madam, to bury
ona.wife, and the misfftune to marry anoth
erlF
E7-Two ihen, in \ dispute, retiecteJ upo1
eaeas others peracity. 0ne Of them nadt
the'remark-+
I II never " is whipped but once by nyfath
or, and that was for telliRg the truth. -
IL believe, thea re,erted the other, 'thS
truth wasMipped out Of yOu, for you haze
never spoke4 it since
n.-A sailor il the pit~of theatre, leok,
ing over plHf bill, read
IAN interval ef twenty years eccurs be.
tween the fiji i and second acts
= At the end Of the FIRST act be, put oh his
old tarpaulia aud left the, house, saying :
Few Of these people will live 10 sec the
end en't'
nfSheridan being on parliamentary
committee, ohe day entered the room as the
members we're seated aud ready to commence
business Perceiying no empty seat. he
bowed, and looking round the table with .
drel expression Of eonntenanee, said, s'wil
any gentleman more thatI may take ekaif2
as 4 New York paper says; A China
maa before enc Of our courts the other day
as witness! was asked fer his religious be
lief He replied thrsagh an interpreter
believe iaSlhe President Of the Unite(
States and Goa Almighty
~ 4 blckrwhile being measured for
piiriof boots observed: Make them covel
the calf iHeavens I exclaimed the as
tonished shesnaker, surveying his castemei
froa had 70 foot, ,I~have no. leather e
neugh T
ErThers Is 4 town ia Arkansas contain
Ing but six Inhabitants, viz crippled negro
jackass, daack Doctor, buzzard. psle
eat, and an alligator There was popula
tioa3of seven until the postmaster absquata
lated.
sTTae qHestisn aWhy printers did moi
+ succeed as well as brewers b. was thus an
swsrei--aBscause printers work fer the
head, AID brewers for the stomach and
+ where twenty men have stemaehs, but ems
has brains.
H-At NeFt Jersey paper says ''it was 50
hot duriag the late bet weather. in Camden,
that Woman was seen holding afrying pan
out Of second story window, cooking ham
/. and eggs in the sun"
A servant girl whispered to another,
one+nisAt, Now, mind dent say as bow
master drinks, but between ysu AID ]. the
demijahn inEths dark closet doa't keep fan
al tie timoH
R-S2ne people imagine that IL il yery
dihcultto get rich. Nothing, DO xever. could
"a u.
i 10 cara dollar every time yol spend ninetv
ii sesnts.
IS XII csahtry youth, who hal returned
L sksms from aEyisit 10 the city. was ask.l II
"a his anxious dad If Be had been r.ars.J 4.
kis condacs While there.
s0h, yes, replied the iarenisus lad ~,
guarded 81 two sonsta5lessnost Of the time !,
E5-A yoaig man, member Of an evan
gelieal eauroh, adyertisss in New VEL
paper for board In ! pieas family where I;s
Christian ex5mnle would be Cos, ;3era5
s. cpnpensktionsE,s
rsLst rs remove temptation from sbo
9 path of yentbE astLs freg said, aslhe plu5r.,
"a into tAo water, when be saw bo,r n;ei.
up stone.
mrs0b, dbar r. szii 4 fashionable 81,
.uhen 30 drst behcId cacumber, II ALWAYS
thsaSbt lash thinSs grew ID slsessp
Psinfal pleasure Is ike bssz-bern.x
In It's mouth bat : sting ii its tail