Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1853-11-10
VARIETY.

"Ne still have lively recoileotlen OF.
the way in which South Sea IslaDdsr set.
tied q case Of conscience. missionary had
rabuked him for the sin of polygamy, and
he was much grisvsd. After day ostwo
he returned, bis face radiant With jsy.
me all right now one wife. DE very
Roed christian.
iWhat did you do with the other ? asked
the missionary
'Mc cat her up
n1-Fubbs, while recently engaged in
splitAng wood, struck false blow, causing
tie stick to fly up II struck him on the
law, and knocked cut trent tooth.
sAh,' said Bill, meeting hin soon after,
you have had dental operation performed,
see
YES, replied the sufferer, iacci dental
Aud BY such a.pun be- revenged himself
upon fate.
nE-A country carpenter having neglect
ed to make gallows, the judge himself went
% the man and sid
] Fellow, how came you to neglect thu. glib
bet I ordered =
Without intending any sarcasm the man
replied
Il am very sorry for had known il was
TUT youI i0tusulPj bsA0ui1 nav SsSA S0As
inmediately'
"The Gateshead Observer narrates
hsw enc Joe Saith lately wentinto chand-
ler's shsP, and was. served with pound Of
candles
.Arn,trthey dear7' he asks
81 They'll be dearer still SAYS the shopkeep-
er, if tho Turks and Russians 60 TO war
WHAT says old Joe, are they going to
fight BY candlelightl'
EF-0ne summer evening gentleman
called upoa lady-an acquaintance Of his.
After the compliments Of the eyening-the
extreme heat, etc, she expressed her sur.
prise at his appearing in slippers, despite
his assertions as 70 their Superior OOmfert-
She continued her arguments, as TO their
| great want Of taste, and concluded BY saying
4 that
III As for her, she did not like to see q gen
tlemanfhave anything on bit boots.n
Il a1-An old dutch la4y ii religious meet
1fisg became very much concerned for her
soul, and weRt about signing and sobbing
and would not DO comforted Upon being
asked by the preacher what the matter was,
she replied shat she couldn't pray in Eng
lish md she was afraid that the Lord
oeuldn't understand Dutch
H4-sDid you ever 20 to a military ball
asked lisping maid the other night Of an
told veteran Of Jacksen's army oils.
aNs, my dear groWled the old soldier I;
ain those days had military ball come to
me, and what 4 ys thing2 it took my leg of :
AT the mention of the word "legn the
belle tainted, Of course
81 ttA n - ~. :, -r.,,, ,~y, rrp- TA,
This proyerb is verified by the fact, that
young men cannst abuse their health in the
morling Of life, and enjsy happy evening Of
cid age -7-cannst scatter their carly dimes
and have . good store Of dollars-cannet
pass their lsisare1Aours in silly amusement,
and grow up to usefulness and respeetI or
superior men tai cultivation.
! All, dootaw, does the chsleraw sxfect
the highaw awdawla asked an exquisite Of
celebrated physician in New Orleans
no. replied the NJ D., but it's death on
fosls, and you'd better leave the city imme.
diatelyi
The fellow sloPsd.
n. RFA gsntlenaA while walking in his gar.
den, caught the gardner asleep under tree
lie seeded him seundly for his lAziness, aud
eaded BY telling him much a sluggard was
I net 10 enjoy the sun.
1t mas just fer that reason said the gar
&ener, that crept iats the shade,
II HMeaster Gsaain used tn gay as hsw
children costed sighte money to breng
um up, but twas ell very well whilst um
was Ieetis and Euehed III mother, but when
Iun begun To zack the vathsr, twas nation
[akkerd
-Es To MRE HEN LAY-Tie stout string
round her body, and lay the bird upon its
side on beard, and fasten the wiring under
meath. Hens secured in this manner viii
lay fer any desired length Of time.
n-aMy love is like the red, red rose,
She stole my heart and there she goes;
With rings on her 6Rgers and earns on
her toes;
Holes il her stoeking-aad I shouldn't
be surprised il she amt .-ssme pun pkins"
In this werld-but the Lord only knowsii
nrAIiss pilkia says that the reason she
has never married is, thatshe never yet saw
the man fer whom shed be willing TO cook
sAres meals Of vissuals every day Of her life
a gosd reason, truly.
KlrsMr Smith, you said oace that yeu
oheiased 10 pulpit-do you mean By that
that ysu preached =
.Ne, sir, ! held light for the man that
IIhe great race between nightmare
aud ciothes'hQrse came Of the other day.
The man vhe catered the mare uasa't vida /
kNlke. 80 The hsrse took The prize.
~ Wanted men to 60 whaling New
4 tks,<kance fpr country school masters !
ghsy are generally foad q ,eAaiisc.
- The aAerokee marriage esremony i
Tsrv exccss;se. The man aad uoman isin
,,6s- eyer running water, ied ieating that
: ~ 4fa &ream
49, 3ps liks /
or