Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1853-03-15
NUMBER 1869
THE INT ELhLGE ENCEK
ass From the Louisville JournIl
The Personal Symmetry and the Musical
.s.r Abilities of Jaclsasses. al.. .'i 4. Z
(coNcLuDED.)


himself Esop tells us OF man who was the
fortunate proprietor of dog and Jack. One
day. the dog was in hismaster's lap, and the mas
ter petted him as men will pet dogs. ,Thereupon '
the silly donkey must needs try. to get some of
ms masters caresses too, and, prancing up be-
side him, placed his head in the gentleman's lap
and tried to get up heels and all. This was weak
IN the poor creature, and the master gave him
sound rap on the head for 1t, much to Jack chag-
rIn. The mista ke was that is quite COM
mon with blpedS, with whom nothing is more
frequent than those occasions in which absurd
positions are assumed. How often do we see
asinine fellows approach young ladies with de-
sire to be caressed by them, and who instead of
oelng iondled arerapped on the head for their in
Solencel
Much is very inconsiderately alleged against
the personal claims that Jack has on the admira-
tloh of the lovers of the beautiful, Beauty is
relative, and Jack is neither of the handgomest
nor the uellest OF created beings. Did you ever
observe how thoroughly aristocratic he is in his
pedal ldevelopenenls? His feet are ofthe slight
est and most delicate architecture. 1t is said
that the members of the English nobility are
marked by the possession of small hands and
teet. Now, IT small feet is a mark of biped ar
istocracy, why not consider them also as mark
of quadrupedal aristocracy? Jacks feet are not
only the most aristocratic of feet, but they ar.
also exceedingly well adapted to use. He stands
on his feet sturdy, well defined, compact-look-
ing Creature, ready for service for play, Had
he barber to attend TO his hair he would be none
the worse therefore in personal appearance. But
10,
he, though neat in desire, ever fails to lick him.
self into the requisite degree of sickness
We pass to his ears, those longitudinal appen-
dages ON either side of his head of which so much
has been said In derogation, and which are among
aurlcuar provisions what Himalayeh is among
the mountains. If young and dapper gentle
man, bent on making an impression in this oUdu-
rate world; were to add to his unexceptionable
coat, vest, and trousers to his imperial and we'll
combed and creased locks, q pair of such ears as
Jack sports, this addition to his stock of per-
Sonal attractions would not be very becoming,
though people might regard it as eminently prop
er. Such ears cannot be transferred without suf-
ering detriment Their place is the head Of a
Jack and should not be used as adornmentS to the
heads of fops anu fools. '
On Jacks head such ears are eminently beconl-
ing. They are made for his head, and his head
was constructed with strict reference for its proud
appendages. An admirer of zoology canno: ut
be struck with the exquisite beauty of Jacks ears
Fhe| are formed on scale of great capaciousness,
and catch all the sounds that float OIL the ambient
air. There is q touch OF the trumpet about Them,
and their convulSionS DELEGATE as those uf
the sea shell, of which poets have had TO sa -
Through the "hollow-wreath chamber of such
ears, all sounds in nature must pass with smooth
ness and sweetness OF effect truly delightful. Ii is
the chosen abode of delicious echoes, and the echo
nymph of the refined Greeks night there establish
her habitation and exist in the midst of all the fell
cities of sound. -.-. .
Considered strictly with regard 10 its usefulness
the ear Cf JackasS is one of the most admirable
and exquisite specimens OF natures handiwork.-
The business that has 10 do is 10 catch sound
and his ear attends 10 such buSineaS more thorough
ly than any other car. On Madam PrimtoSe':;
theory, that 'beauty is that beauty does,'' con-
tend the of the is the bea Ltifu eaTs
We who have ridiculous little esIs growing up
close along Slue OF our heads have personal in
tereSt in contending for the superior delcacy anu
elegance of the kind of ears we wear, but were the
case reversed, and were our heals adornsll with
jacks eats and his head adorned with ours, we
then would be our appendages In that ,vent
they would be both ornamental and useful serving
double purpose, and we could then say OF them
Our contrived do2blc debt pay -a
Night.caps by night, embellishments by day. 7..
According to the unqueSuonable testimony OF
Schiller, an effolt was once made TO harness Pc
gaSSus, but the experiment did not work WE'LL
The poetcal horse was too frdcIouS for such uses
ard, had he been required to plow straight fur
row, would have made line far better suited for
the bed of a wormf fence. There is place for
erything, and Pegassus's place IS not IN team.-
So also Jack has his place. Unlike Pegasus,
however he is both variously uss full and ornauen-
tai. He works well in harness, is capital leader
of the pow, and as to making furrows he is incom
parable just he is as atfordng the most eligible
opportu mites for lie display of wtchng horSeman
ship OH the part of the most accomplished horse
men.
A controversy of pretty decided interest might be
raised toL ching the of Bottom. When TItana
was so desperately i'll love with him, lie had on the
|
was necessary that the great bard should make her
beside herself i'll order 10 render her love CE Bot
tom with his asinine head both cre.htable and
PROPER. So far the repre- of the artists
go who have illustrated Shakespeare, its does not
appear thai, after his 'ftransation," the worthy
Bottom was really uglier than he was prior 10 this
great and well authenticated event iii his history.
Ttanas absurdity consisted in falling in love with
such great big chap, into whose waistcoat pocket
size might hove jumped and there have INDUCED IN
all the felIcitiuLS visions which love conjureS up
to bewich the minds Of madens fair ltwaS not
his ass head that rendered her tender passion lu
dicrouSly misplaced, but 1t was her passion or such
an object under any circumstances. Having thus
rescued the great poet from wrong Interpretation
for which he has suffered for two centres all kinds
OF injustice, we shall now proceed. N'''
| People ale prone to complain of Jack on the
score of his obStinancy. Did it ever strike such
murmur.r that what he calls obstnancy i'll Jack,
would, if developed in man, be called ga proud
spirit" "the evidence of an Independent heart"
and "ths manifestation OF superior wisdou.''-s
Just run out into cover field and catch poet
who may by chance be therein prealnbulatlng, and
then bride him ano undertake to drive HIM mup the
road W hen all his tastes incline him to 20 down,
and would he the bard, not exhibit W hat, in Jack,
you call tsobstinancy?" Indeed, would you not
| consider srch resistance as the poet would show
manly and proper? 1t would be virtue in him,
while it is regarded as vice in poor Jack. The
quadruped has his own notions of proprlrty. He
thinks lust you do that pleasure lies IN going in
some particular direction. You and he at
loggerhesds on that point, and the results cut
and lash him furiously, and he, when he finds re-
sistance useless, goes your way with heart full
of tribulatlnn. Ign i2 .a-ss- -.
| Sterne's pathos overthe body of Jack that had
recently given up the ghost has been construed to
his disadvantage. Yorick was lover of such
creatures, and 1t was natural that he should let
tear drop at the sad spectacle of one that was desti
tute life. The incident inthe queer and chequTed
history of the paIson, shows that he had much ten
derness of feeling, for which he should have credit,
but for which he has Leen terribly abused.
| We shall not further prolong this discussion at
| present If We have shown that the defects OF
Jack lie in the prejudices of those who charge
him with them rather than in his nature, we shall
feel amply compensated for our labor. May all
those who hive the power and the will to look ou