The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1853-06-04

TIE BAFFLEp LAwYER.-Atsthe last sit
ting of the Cork Assizes, case was brought
before the Court, in which the prime ipai wit.
ness for the defence was tanner, we'll known
in The surrounding country by the soubriGuet
of Crazy Patti
Upon Crazy Patti being called upon for his
evidence, the attorney for the prosecution ex-
erted to tie utmost extent his knowledge Of
legal chicanery, in the endeavor to force the
witness into some slight inconsistency, upon
which he might build point but he was ex,
cessively annoyed to find that Crazy Pats
evidence was consistent throughout.
perceiving that acute questioning failed TO
answer his purpose, the disciple of Coke and
Blackstone betook himself to that oftentimes
successful resource of lawyers-rdcule.
what did you say your name vast he IN
CURED flippanrly.
'Foks call me Crazy Patti, but
'Crszy Palt, Ell? A very euphonous title;
quite romantic, eh!'
Romantic or not, sur, it wudn't lie bad
idea if the Parliament would give it to your
self and lave me TO chuse another
This caused a slight laugh in the court
room ard the presiding judge peeped over his
spectacles at the attorney, as much as TO say,
you have yeur match now
'And what did you say your trade was| con.
tinued The disconnected barrister, with an an
Cry look at witness.
Yin tanner sur
q tanner Ell? Aud how loCg would il take
you 10 tan an OK hide?'
well, sur, since it seems to be very impor.
tonifur We to know, it's myself that'll jist tell
Se-that's entirely OWN to circumstances in
tirciv.'
Die you ever tan the hide ofan ASST
I'm ass? No, sur, tut it you II jist step down
the lane, after the Coort, be Jabers III give
ye physical demonstration that | cud tan the
E.le al an ass in the shortest end of three min.
utes
This unexpected reply Of the witness,
brought forth roars of aughter, in which the
Bench heartily joined; whilst the baffled attor-
ney, biushlDg 10 the eyes, hastily informed
Crazy Patti that he was no longer required.
GOSSIP FROM Tom MooRE's DIARY.-In the
time OF Law s great money plan in France there
was hulnpback man who made a good
deal Of money by lending his hump as writ
ing desk in the street, the houses and shops
being all occupied by people making their
calculations.
Sir A. C, once telling rhndomontade
stories about America at Lord Barrymore's
tuhle, twinking at the rest of the company
asked him, "Did you ever meet any of the
Chick elbows, Sir Arthur" "Oh several
very cruel race" The Cherry chowsl" "Oh
very much among them they were nartIcu.
tarly kind to our men," 'And pray, did you
know anything of Totter oddly bow-wowsf'-
Us vas too much for poor Sir A., who then
tor the first time perceived that Barrymore
had been qnizziDg him.
Trails pats Oae in mind Of the man who
"s'nea with the Dardanelles' when in Eu-
rope
Burke told of an Irish country squire who
nsed, with hardly any means, to give enter,
tainments TO the militia, &C., in his neighbor-
hood, and when friend expostulated with him
on the extravaganza Of giving ciaret to these
men VI hen whiskey punch would do just as
welI he answered, "You are very right, my
denf freud but have the claret on tick, and
ons?"
Doug las mentioned the son of rich gra'
x'er IN Ireland, who went on tour to i'aiy'
with express injupctions from the father to
write TO him whatever was worthy OF nohce'
accordingly, on his arrival in Italy ne wrote
a letter beginning as follows: "Dear Father,
the Alps is a very high mountain, and bul
locks bear no price"