The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1853-04-13
Tom Fay's Solil0quy.
"Most any female lodger up stairs,
Occasions thought in him who lodges under.''

Don't they though? Not deuced thing
have been able to do since that little gip-
sy took the room overhead, about week
ago! Pat-pat-pat, go these little feet
over the floor till am as nervous as a cat
in chime closet, (and confounded pretty
feet they are too, for | caught sight of 'em
going up stairs. Then | can hear her
little rocking chair creak, as she sits there
sowing and keeps singing "Loue not-lore
not" Gust as if fellow could help it.)
Wish she wasn't quite SO pretty; it makes
me feel decidedly uncomfortable. Won
der it she has any great six footer of a
brother, or cousin, with sledge hammer
fist? Wish | was her washer. woman, OF
the little niger who brings her breakfast
wish she'd faint away on the stairs; wish
the house would catch fire tonight! Here
| am in this great barn of room, Gall
alone,) chairs and things set square up
against the wall; no little femme frins
round; | shall have to buy a second hand
bonnet. or a little pair of gaiter boots, to
cheat myself into the delusion that s'here's
tao Of us.'' Wish that little gipsy wan'l
shy as rabh! can't meet her on the
stairs, if die for it; I've upset my ink
stand a dozen times, hopping up when
thought | heard her coming. Wonder i
she knows when she sits vegetating there
that Shakespeare or Sam Slick, or some
body says, that ''happiness is born twin?'
cause If she don't, I'm the missionary thai
will enlighten her! Wonder if she earns
her living! (poor little soulD It's time
had a wife, by Christopher! Sitting there
pricking her fingers with that murderous
needle! If she was sewing on my dickeys
it would be worth while now. That's it
by Jove! Ill get her to make some dick
eys, don't want 'em any more than Satan
wants holy water, but that's neither here
nor there; shall insist upon her taking
the measure of my throat! bachelors have
to be right fusty. There's pretty kettle
of fish now; either she'll have to stand or
a cricket, or shall have to get on my
knees to her. Solomon could't fix any
thing better; deuce take me if couldn'
say the right thing then! This fitting dick
| eys is work of time too. Dickeys' ism
to be got up in a hurry.
Hallow! there's the door bell! there's &
big trunk thumped do own in the entry! |.
Mrs. Legare at home? Mrs. Legare!!
like that now! Have | been in love {
whole week with Mrs. Legare! Never
mind, may. be she's a widowl Tramp
tramp, up comes those masculine feet W
stairs-handsome fellow, tool! N 9 u
G h d n ezZar!
If ever heard kiss in my life heart
one then! wont stand it!-it's an inva
sion of my rights, I'll listen at the door a
I'm. sinner! "My dear husband!!r'-
p-h-e-W! What right have sea captains
on shore, I'd like to know? Confound
all! Well, | always knew women wern
worth thinking Of; set of deceitful littl
monkeys; changeable as rainbow, su
perficial as parrots, as full OF tricks as
coniurer, stubborn as mules, vain as pea
cocks, noisy as magpies. and full of th'
l"Old Harry" all the time! There's Ode
iilah" now; didn't she take the strength
out of Sampson?-and wer'nt "Sisera'
and "Judith' born fends, and didn't tn
little mink Of "Herodias'' dance Johl
the Baptist's head off! Didn't Sara
"raise Cain" with Abraham, till he packe,
Hagar off? Then there was-well tn
less said of HER the better! but didn't Eve
the foremother of the whole concern, hav
one talk too many with the ''old serpent2
OF course, she didn't do "nothing else!'
Glad never set any Of my young affec
tons on any o'em! Where's my ciga
case2 How tormented hot this room is!