The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1853-04-30
THE MAN WITH THE, cHALKED HAT.
BY INVISIBLE GREEN, Esq

t-tt
A few days since, while one 81 The up
traiss of the Mad river and lake Etis Rail-
way was stopping at Urbanay the conductor
was accosted by . tall, lean, but sinewy spe-
cimen of humanity, whose .appearaucs at
once indicated considerable verdancy- He
was rugged in o bell-crowne2 hat, s1nfbeI-
lied linsey coat, pants OF she seine m1oerial,
and hog skin boots. His hands wer( sunk
deeply into his breeches' poe. cts, and as a
kind of counterpoise, his pants werescram-
med into his boots. Giving his head know
10 6 shake, which careened his old-fashioned
chapeau to one side, he thus addresssd the
Conductor: 80. &. ~, - - IS
"Now dew tell, an they say you're the
driver of this ere wagon?'' -s,.s a., 3 8.
81 am the conductor, SIR" as... .sslisal
"Raaly! Right smart of a boss, point
ting to the locomotive, "to pull you losg.
"Yes, sir, such horses cannot be bought
every day." 80 asss ~ ..sss a.
"Ireckon not, Colonel; but then--lo you
know Joah Tompkins. up at Kenton T.
"No, sir, believe not" =. s
"'Tsint possible, now, is it, that yo1 don't
know Joan! Why, he is my brothers. an
\ will be blamed, If / wouldn = 60 and see him,
in your darned consarn, If ! wasn't afeerd
your plsguey boss would run away"
! "There is no danger of that, sir" -.
i "Do tell me so, now! You see Pm sorter
green, bu; have hearn tell Of these p sky
critters to hum, and I'll be corsarned if they
don't look skecry. It's human nature, you
know, for a Teller TO be leetle afeerd the
Ifurst time he sees such a beast"
"There is no danger, sr. If you wish to
90 to Kenton | will guarantee 10 IKE you
there safe" .t,a
i This appeared to es sc Mr.. Tmr kins'
mind, and after walking round the trim, ex-
aiming the locomotives, and questioning al
most every person he met as to the ,robabi-
Y lity Of a runaway, he tod the conductor he
!, guessed he would risk it. He was according
ly shown 10 seat in a frs. class car. 1t
happened that in the same car, and irthe i'm
meciate vicinity of our Hoosier frien, was a
, party Of fun low ng gentlemen, who Don, dis
covered chance tor good JOKE in he YER
: dancy of The new passenger, The imme-
J diately got into cow ersation with i'm, and
learned from his own lips, that bis nme was
q Reuben Tompkins, the twin brotheof Joah;
that he lived in Northwestsr IN Inhna, was
green and didn't know much abot things,
and was terribly afeerd of the iron orse get
ting scared and running away. "a
Il Ore of the part was introducedo him as
J Mr.. Brown, the President Of the lad, who
: assured him that he was as safe in ie car as
n out of it. ~ ~ ~. 1870 RI ~
L "But, sir" continued the Bogus resident,
> Gas am automatically informed ths you are
? brother to my very particular fend, Mr..
: Tompkins, Of Keuon-" 49,
u "Joah!" inquired the Hoosier.
m -.UVos air Mr. Ioah. Tom otips otKen-0
n athens um to T. Josh wri that he
:. know'd all the big bugs irhis regior''
"Just so, and as you are his br, thr, 1T will
p afford me inexpressble pleasure 10 cak you-
v hat, sir, by which you will not only cope the
! lpsyment Of fare, but all accidents, 3 Gong az
- you travel on this road" a..-.ff.l ai-,f.
e"As-ton-ish.ingw replied The Hoier, who
4 gladly gave over his head piece, treceivc
an application of chalk" .....
y The pretended President mard with
'e chalk in large letters, the f lIowingpon the
il crown Of the hat-Free-paid 10 h--Reub-
m en- Tompkins-epery body take notit', The
u hat was returned to its head With dreremo-
'e ny, and all the passengers in the cawho by
Is this time understood the Joke, bur into a
laugh, as Mr.. TompkiDs, eying himlf in a
IN glass, declared with emp basis, thatle was
80 now .ssome punkins.', q s, "a -.
y About the time, the conductor, 10 had
al been infor med of he joke, and had ceived
m, Tompkins' fare from third person, srpach-
"Your ticket, sir!"
:. "Ticket! Lookey here, kurnel, gss you
10 don't know who you're talking to-" ~ r.
=. mo, sir, and it's not my businessi want
:" your ticket or your fare, and that, I, with
. out cers mony."
r. SHOW look sharp, kufnel, or th're be
~ fuss. ain't SO green as you mi IKE me
49, to be- Don't you see nothing" h
&c 81 see neither ticket nor money 3D.
- sJust Jockey at my hat, what youth. nix
!. Of that, ehi" ef'ii D
?. sChalked, by heavens::'' exclaiRd tb con-
- ductor. Il beg your pardon, sir, y il had
known that your hat was chalk, would
y. ~ not have animated anything abot pay you
N have the freedom OF the cars,'ir. please
e e make yourself at home"
~ ~ Lord! won't have heap to I'll OF 'em
=" when get home!" exclaimed nben,,ver.
~ Joy ed at the change in the beirior 4 the
49, -. observed. "Really, it's surprisiiand are
-. some punkins sure, way down Re ANY,
b;s What will the old gal say, whetell he all
10 about i'll! seo,ss - ~. hili,~ e.
a. 1t is neeless for US to say, thahr. aTbmp-
kins' end Of the car was soon wded with
"g passengers, whose merry facead bolster
~; = Gus laughter indicated the amu.ent Reu-
- ben's conduct afforded them.t II ok it all |
=: in right down earnest, aud Iaugh~ith the |
~, NJ rest Of them, and once SO delight was he
VI witt the cha,ked ha,, that he p,d around
ne ne a pound Of butter crackers Wild had laid
1As in a: Uroana. He considered Thrown
'.' genuine friend, and freely COMPLICATED to
ss him allhs secrets, with the histf Il mis- Ia |
,gn mily from his grandfolks down his "one
'.l year old" The passengers W, hpt in a
70 continual roar of laughter, by. converse
Gu ton, particularly as Mr.. sTomrsf fully APP
preciated the importance eff aslked hat,
and acted accordingly. -