Spirit of the age., 1853-05-18
8 B 2 9 r. Q u S +.
Description of Bachelors Island.

This Island is situated on the burning
sands desAEt ef where even the
savage inhabitants Of the forest seldom ven
ture. 1t is bounded on the East by the re-
cion Affectation, Vanity, and Deceit on the
North, by the territory of Fear, and bound
ed on the South, by the burning zone of Re-
morse, Disease and Death and on the West
by the dead lake of Oblivion. Hence it is
easily to be supposed that the air of the Is
land is sultry, enervating, and pestferous;
exposed to the perpetual scenes of storm,
hurricane and tempest and its climate, like
the minds of its inhabitants, is never settled
for an hour The spring of bachelors Island
totally differs from that of any other have
hitherto read Of; as that here is the season
Of the most pernicious heat, and in which the
generality of inhabitants are possessed with
4 kind Of madness, the most destructive to |
themselves, the most injurious to every CIV
ilized country, and the most subveisivc of
unguarded innocence. Their winter is truly
despicable indeed since among all nations
upon earth, YOU cannot express your con-
tempt of man more pointedly, than by
calling him an Old Bachelor, thing that
lives only for itself "A thing that has no So
cial harmony in the soul-a thing that, Ikea
mushroom, delights in bogs and morasses, and
hates the genial warmth ofthe MONDAY sun.
Though the natives of this miserable Island
make those of the Island Of Matrimony the
constant object of their ridicule, yetthere have
been numberless instances of their stealing
from their own Island into that of Matrimony,
where they have prevailed upon some good
natured easy creatures to become their nur-
ses and restorers, after their constitutions have
been nearly ruined in their former miserable
abodes; for in the Isle of ofMatrimony, though
clouds now and then gather over it, yet they
serve only to render the day moro brilliant
and cheerful.
In Bachelors Island, Love is a thing much
talked of, but totally unknown to the people
who are hated, despised, robbed and plum
dered, by the objects Of their miserable EN-
brace.
If fcards are the usual diversions of the people
on the Isle of Matrimony, they are consider
ed only an amusement. But on Bachelor
Island they are productive of the most shock
inc vice, such as the grossest scenes of drunk
ness, the total run vi LHell pIlNdto lolIuuSS
and even murder itself is sometimes the con
sequence. How many have Quilted thi
Island and fed to that they so much des
pised, in order to repair their ruined fortune:
by seeking a rich and amiable partner :
Bachelor Isle is mere desert, incapable c
producing anything but nettles, thorns, an
briars. There are no pleasing lambs to pleas
the eye of innocence. There no doves cher
ish their young nor does the useful faw
bound over their barren plains wolves, tiger
and crocodiles are there seen in abundance
There are neither wife nor children to wee
over the ashes Of the deceased /; but ow
hoot, ravens croak, and the reptiles of til
earth crawl over their graves. In short
all animals that nature ever produced, an o.
Bachelor must be the most contemptibe.-
lie lives a useless being on earth; dies wit
out having answered the end of his creatio
in opposition to the mandate of his Gre
Maker, and is at last consigned over toob
Won.