The Camden weekly journal. [volume] (Camden, South-Carolina) 1853-1861, 1853-07-12
Married Life.
" And to be wroth with one we love.
Doth work like madness Oh the BRAIN"
Camden, S. c.

|
CoLEEIDGE.
Within few years, cases of difficulty, mis-
understanding, and separation in married life
have, as it seems to Us, greatly increased, and
| the alleged cause, in the ira oritv Of instances,
has been ncompatibi!ity OF disposition in
".her words the parties have not vet harmo.
nzed together, have not determined to make
due allowances for the impcriectiors and in
| iirmitcs of each other, have indu!scd in out
breaks OF temper, which increasing from day
to day, have, in the end, been productive Of the
most deplorable Consequences. Either they
misunderstood each other ut The commence.
mcnt, or they forget in married Iitc the rules
of torbearancc aud indulgence which they prac,
ticed in Tie sunny days OF courtship. All, it
should be remembered, ali have their faults and
irai!tes and while in early life, III the tu>h
aud buoyancy of youth and spring, these little
spots on the sun OF character and disposition
NAV not lie seen, or disrcgarded, if seen. we
should be careful not to magnify them in after
wears, or to refer to them rs il the had been
discovered !or the first time. The doctrine of
mutual forbear&nce cannot be too sedulou>lv
cultivated and practiccd, especially, in mar.
ried life. 'Trtles light as air. sometimes an.
noy and rrtate. \ harsh word will excite
di>trust or produce pain, while an angry look
will rouse in The sensitive breast, apprclicn.
sions Of the kcencst kind. How important,
too, is the control Of temper! And this IAN.
suago will app as well to one sex rs the other.
It is unreasonable in the husband to suppose
that he may indulge in violence of speech and
IarshneSs of manner, and yet meet with moth.
ug but kindness apd furbparance in return.
And 20 also is it absurd in the wife, TO fancy
that she may fret, fume and scoll, hour by
hour and day by day, and all with impunity.
There must be reciprocity. There must be Il
disposition to givc and to take. There must
| be determination to bear aud f,rhcar-to con-
ciatc and compromise. lLoltcn happens that
tastes differ widely with reference to company,
social anu>ccrtS, modes Of living and worlI-
| " appearances The husband, for example,
may he business man, actively and arduou,!y
| engaged throug hUut the dav, and exhausted in
some degree hy nightlall. Under such cir.
cum>tances, it is unreasonable in the wife to
| expect him to enter into thc giddy mazes of
fashion, to keep W till midnight at brilliant
party, and to follow this system night after
| night. or even several times during each week.
Either one of three things must give way un.
der such po!icy-thc health, the business, or
the social festival. The two former are AMONG
the essentials and hence they should not be
trihed with. 4 sensible woman will so m.
dcrstand the case, and govern herself accord
ingly. On the other hand. gay and dashng
belle, one perhaps who has been peited and
spoiled, one who is in the enjoyment OF high
health and beauty, should, as wife, not be
deprived of all gay and cheerful society She
should not be compelled to sacrifice all her
friends and companions, to crafty the disposi
ton or satisfy the sclfshncss of her husband
Both, we repeat, should yield something. There
should be a mutual understanding. The wife
should consider the outdoor world, and the
anxietics to which all men of business are
more or less liable. One Of the first duties
which a man owes to his wife, is to provide her
with the comforts of social existence, and this
can only be done by a prompt and faithful at
tendance to his business and one of the first
duties which wife owes to her husband is TO
make his home cheerful, sunny, sacrcd-the
happiest spot on earth Let her surround it
with every possible temptation, let her always
! welcome him with Smilc--lct his wishes he
the prominent thought in her heart and her
mind and she will win him away from thou
sand ta>cIlIations of the outdoor world
But, we repeat, there should be a mutual
effort to please. There arc hours in the life