The Cedar Co. news-letter. [volume] (Tipton, Iowa) 1853-1853, 1853-11-26
.slrNI1llhIsEIlNS.


r9A young LAWYER in Chambers
stree, yesterday put his spinal column
lou, Of JOINT, trying to draw coi.elu-
sion. Gin. 7tmss.
aThe newspa pers seem TO think
that the wuy To keep ladies' dresses from
sweeping the street, is 10 "hold them up
Ito rdicule. .a
EsgTfe following is one Of the taasts
given at the celebration ot the Fourth OF
July out West: "American Houtls--May
their ambition reach rs high as their
standing colhrs." 49, guy.
I.a~ A chap in Detroit has invented, a
machine 10 MAXI hash. Precious genius,
lie is undoubtedly the. same fellow that
made the cradle that rocked the deep
State Register. ..m-ss
f~g-The following is copy Of a
note sent to the clerk OF parish in Lon
Idol-"M Mister. nv wiet is ded, and wants
10 he herried Tomorrow at wonner clock
You knows where TO digit, close by my
other wife 4; but let ii be dip.
Whether YOU are playing on the
stage or the world, Your characters should
be we'll dressed. Broadcloth is gener-
ally received with smiles though covering
a rascal; while lmsey welsey Is rather
ran upon, though covering q patriot.
Mrs. Pauington is of the opin-
ion that Mount Nesuvius should take Old
Townsend's Sarsaparilia to cure itself of
Ierupuons- The old lady thinks il has
been vomiting 50 long, nothing else would
stay on It's stomach.
ryA man was accidentally precipi
tated from 1.-The height of folly yester-
Iday. He was oillnr his mustache when
the accident occurred. The fall proved
fatal to massive eveglass, box oil
bears grease, bottle of hair dye and the
seat Of pair OF big plaid pantaioons.
Eg-Sulky females generly die old
maids; il girl, therefore. wishes to
taste the sweets that spring from love and
corduroy, let her 90 IN training for good
nature and become musical with glad
ness, like June crowded with bobo-
links.
EsErA clergyman who was consollng
young widow OF the death 81 her nus
band, spoke in in a very serious tone re-
marking that h. was one Of the few
Such a Jewel of a Christian. You can
not find his equal, you know.
| To which the weeping fair one, with
almost a breaking heart replied !:
II don't know, but III try"
rg-The following toast was drank at
Fourth Of July celebration AT "Nhip-
py Swamp" South Carolina. We like
this "gaF' an.ry better than dlssolving
the Union:
WoMAN:
A cure for every bane,
The polished link in beauty's chain;
A paragon hath every charm.
Mans fercest passions 10 disarm;
Her voice for him is like the dove.
For him she weases the web of love;
For him her prayers To Heaven ascends.
His manners and ms SHIRTS she mends
rgA gentleman travelling on an un-
frequented road III Maine. and passing a
solitary shanty or single shop, his atten-
ton was arrested by loud cry of 'Hullo
there. | say. Murder Fire, longs
Gridirons. Birthstone Hello and a
man was seen rushing in great haste,
wearing leather apron, but without Il
coat, and approached the traveller.
What is the matter .-what is the
matter! inquired the traveller.
oh, I'm out OF terbaCker, replied he,
got any about yer
Us \ party challenged another, who
was notorious for his speed Of foot, to
run race OF considerable distance with
hun, StlpulalIng that the champion Of the
''eourse" should carry ten pounds weight
Of any article lns challenger might choose
to select. In all the pride OF well tested
powers and Champion cried Done" TO
the bargain, when, lo and behold his
opponent selected hot only for his efiec-
tual lmpednent. bu, the most grotesque
adornmein OF his competitor fen pounds
# f'.H Mo.'n bin.i,k.s, II il needless
to add that the man with speed OF foot
lost ms wager TO the man with speed Of
Wit.
CosrEMrr OF CopRr-We have a
rcmlnscense Of having read, heard or
dreamed Of the following scene III court
Drunken Attorney the Cour,
pNeasc, think that this witness Il, ~ his
own showing. Interested in the event Of
this case. object on that ground to his
turlsrr testimony. II man NAV swear
hlmsel. IN possession of two hundred dol
Lars III this court, why. all ! have to say
IS, that this i u hi roaring pretty
Court at Justice -
TlpsY Judge-"Mr. Brown, Your Oh
lectlun seems 10 he we'll taken. Til,
" 'nrss may retire from the stand. But.
NJ. Brown, II strikes the Cour, thai
Your last remark was disfespecrful t. The
Court. Tins Court permits no proianr
Ian. laIp III It's ltfs,.angp mlY la G,rilafr..