Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-12-31
v A r I E r T i.

A man hung himself the other day with
"sailors yarn"
To BECOME pooR.-Be honest, and void Of
suspicion.
The only motive for uniting the Atlantic with
the Mississippi, is the locomotive.
Some people seem to think that umbrellas,
like physic, are only made to take.
A lazy fellow up north, spells Tennessee,
10ic.
If a Miss is rs good as mile, what's madam
good for? For league, sometimes.
| Why do aldermen grow 50 stouti Because
they are apt to be pursy.
] A SMALL RELAr1oN.-Monkey comes from
homunculus, and consequently signifies little
| man.
QUESTION FOR AsTRoNoMERs.-Why is the
moon the neatest of all bodies? Because she is
the most tidy. (OhD
According to Button, Job must have been the
greatest genius in the world; for "genius," he
says, "is patience"
The young woman that was lost in thought,
after wandering in her own mind, found herself
at last in her lovers arms.
! lis delicate question-which commands q
walters greatest respect, the man who bullies
him fhe most or the man who fees him the best
Placea bone across pork rind, and you have
Bony part crossing the Rhine" This is term
ed "illustrated history"
johnson says that the greatest magicians Of
/ the age are the paper-makers. They transform
the beggar's rags into sheets for the editors to
lie on.
| It is no more use for young man to try to
get along among girls without money, than to
beat locomotive with saw horse Calico is
emphatically cash institution.
! Be careful how you make love to cross
eyed girl. You can't tell whether she is casting
her sweetest glances at yourself, or at Mr. John
Brown opposite.
The Cherokee marriage ceremony is very ex-
! pressive-a man and woman joining hands over
running water, indicating that their lives are
to flow in one stream.
An old lady who knows, says that young
| man should never marry woman before he
calls upon her at least half dozen times un-
expectedly before breakfast.
| RARE CHIRoGRApHY.-TheC Clinton Courant
says that the word would" in Rufus Choate's
handwriting, resembles small gridiron struck
by lightning
Take q company Of boys chasing butterflies,
and put long tailed coats on the boys, and turn
the butterflies into dollars, and you will have q
beautiful panorama Of the world.
Greenough in speaking Of Bricke's Shipwreck-
ed Mariner, says it possesses one fault which an
Englishman or American critic can forgive-it
wasn't made at Florence. Nice, bit of quiet
satire that.
"Why is q long fast like dining two hours be-
fore noon!" Do you give it up! Because it
is alternating" ut 10 yer-ating." The young
man that sent us this, left for Liverpool in one
horse wagon on Tuesday.
"sammy, my son, don't stand there scratch
ing your head stir your stumps, or you'll
make no progress in life." "Why, fathek, I've
often heard you say that the only way to get on
in this world was to scratch ahead"
woman in politics is like a monkey in
china shop, she can do no good, and may do a
great deal of harm. Rather than see female
turn statesman, we would prefer to see her turn
somersets. She is about as well calculated for
one as the other, if not great deal more.
Punch is a good doctor at times. He gives
the following for the benefit of wart-wearers:
t.Put your mouth close to the wart and tell it
in whisper that if it win not 60 away you will
burn it out with caustic. If it does not take
the hint, be as good as your word"
An old lady objected to give her son col
legiate education after learning that "profane
| history" was one study. She is a sister to the
| lady who would not send her daughter to school
because the master wanted her to study "vulgar
fractions"
The beautiful wife Of Minus king of Assyria,
desired her husband to resign the government
Of the empire to her, five days, as a proof Of his
affection; which request he complied with-she
having the power in her own hands, caused her
husband to be murdered and usurped the en-
pire. *
SoLEMS THouGHT.-Wheneyer We ind our
temper rufaed toward = parent, wife, = sister,
or brother, We should pause and think, that
in few moro months or years, they viii be in
the spirit land, watching over Us, or, perchance
We shall BE- there, watching over them left be-
hind.
sharpen his appetite. has since eaten himself up
The woman who nndertook to scour the woods,
has abandoned the job on account of the scarcity
Of sand and the high price ofsoap. The genius
who fles newspapers, latsly hQpke hisinstrument
while operating upon s.bard-shell" organ.
f0apatoat0~ Tss-o- ~.
An Irish officer, upon seeing beautiful pic
ture sketched upon wall in America, exclaim-
ed, at Is fine painting, but it was never done
in America" 4" Oh, Dir" says his friend, "don't
you see tits on solid wall, and therefore must
have been done II this country" "Ah," re-
piled he, 81 see that plain enough, but only
meant that tho man who did It was never in
America"
Sneoks wonders whore all the pillow cases 10
to. He says he never asked . girl what she
was making, while engaged IN white sewing,
without being told that it was pillow case.
This is m evidence that the girls knew how to
answer . fool according 70 his folly. snooks is
good for -ncthing, impudent fellow, to ask such
impertinent questions, and tho girls were night
IN makaag q shift, and not answering him cor
rectly.
A RArsINa 6rIlI7 PERYIsxED.-Medium
All is now ready; Whist question do you wish to |
put!-Widow: Why. man, mast expasia that |
l gave 70 my dear departed one The wss many
years younger than myseH) $4,000 to pay of
claim; and now he's gone they've had the au-
daoity to apply again for ths money! Pray,
tasTsfon, ask my dssr Augustus what b did |
With the receipt p 4