The Gonzales inquirer. [volume] (Gonzales, Tex.) 1853-current, 1853-12-17
How Pat got into the Wrong Bed, oil by
q Mistake,
4 FUNNY POLICE CASE.

FUNNY POLICE CASE.
Some time since the following langhable
sccnc came on in the Jefferson Market Police
Office before Napoleon Bonapart Mountfort
Esq, tho sitting magistrate. Enter Patland-
or, with a nose as red ns an Alderman's visagc,
and which had become cnsanguincd by q co.
pious discharge oozing through dirty rag tied
over a recent wound on tho scalp. After Civ
Ing his namc and residence to "the coort, the
following dialogue took place:
Magistrate. Well, Patrick, what can VIC do
for you to-dayY
Pat. I'd bo wanting warrant, your wor.
Mag. Against v,eoma
Pat Agn Barney oLcary, plaisc your riy-
rince.
Mag. For whatg
Pat For murther, your grace.
Mag. Whom did no murderf
Pat. Murther Och. tho diyil cratur but
myself, your cxcellcncy.
Mag. lndccdi Has no really been guilty
Of that?
Pat. Dy my sowl he hasi Bad luck to
him Ho olhns made n hole in my napper big
enough TO bury cat in.
Mag, Ilc has not killed you outright, / see.
Pat. Och, sure, IL isn't his fault that he
hasn't, for he intinded il, and nothing suror
Mag, ! suppose an assault warrant will
suit youG When did he assault youg
Pat. Ho 'ssaulted me last night abont two
o'clock this morning, your scrinc highnesst
Mag, Did he strike you with a stick
Pat. No, my lord, It was a small taste Of d
poker.
Mag poker What dreadful murder
Pat. Arrahl sure your holiness, 1t is IN
deed--you couldn't spake truor if you'd did
II yourself
Mag, Where were you when this happen-
cds
Pat Where was ! suro I was in bed,
Mag. Asleep OF awake
Pat. As sound as roach your magesty
Mag And what proyocaton had you given
hims
Pat. Diyil a proyocation At all, most noble
How could whan was dead drunk asleep ?
Mag WhatY do You mean to say he casno
to your bedside and struck you In iiiia dread.
fnl manner without cause
Fat. Yes, your mighsincss. barring he caino
10 his own bedside, instead of mine.
Mag Ills own bedside We're you in his
bed
Pat, Faith, YOU have guessed Il, your sivi.
rihce,
Mag Aud What brought you there
Fat, That's moro than can tell, yoas hon.
orr7~barrlng it was the lilner
Mag Mas this all you did TO provoke his
anger
Pat nisii thing else.
Mag Was there any other person prostnsS
TAT. Not ctatnr. sndependens of hss wits,
dat WAS ln bed with asc. ynssr gtaef
Mag Ills witcf were yoa in bed sslsh rs
ssifsf
tat IN escsse was, yeue MtaslllYF
Mag. And tlcnt yea ihial< yea slezcfvesi
whss ypa get
rat isR mes MOI I. ieslsssl Il ssas 81 :
taislake
Mss, Mistake
PAT yea. skeaglss L was ssy SKA Wis. Ia
the stAtks-i went itia sssa soaai IA 4 salzfak@
Mag. Well. isehe yess resssasstss5 ! ; css<s
mistake fsa suuss le essfal h fssnne, ssns
sssst ssans yca uasFaas, ussasF she siFsssEs6lsn
cs&
Fat Thank year sesevsiy II sse hStt ne
aein Il theR 80 saa pasosahssg ilx ~ ssns.
I ulll ssss ksas esssk sssas al kse6N h,4s la.
% shS sAkklse - pSxt weeA sa SSsSsaf
Ecsa asy ~ yeaf ses9Asaesa,s eER - hts
asngssesieneales. Ne hs4essa ss Is - ifssa ssss.
u tmfas& esss sssas RsasaaF aee sasA ssss tssl
ane@asssaaa az shssw ~ = IS. ~ A<RS4s gsse
Alsn gepsle hss NssA tass 49, ssi sfss sases
sss bis skn3 wak sts1fk tssal - ~ ~ -
tks,sssd g%tssss ssAspes sssxsSss tSsxsg saa
alsa swaAe ~ ssss khssrs, %sse fsse kts ssss6ss
asssss4nee fn lssfsek@x stx Sassaa<g e4t Nf f&s
sAant%s - hss tas.s sss 'ssssts