Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1853-10-12
Running him or the Track.

corn-field fence, meditating on the course of his
true love, that was running just rs Shakespeare
said it did-rather roughly. IF Sake Peabody
has taken shine to that gawky, long -shanked.
stammerin', shy critter Gusset. jest cause he's
city fellcf, she amt the girl took her for, that's
sartan. No, it's the old folks; darn their ugly
picters! Old Mrs. Peabody aIIers was dreadful
hghfalutin' crItter, fall of big notions; and the
old mans regular soft-head, driven about by his
wife, just as our old oueeyed rooster is drove a.
bout by our cantankerous five toed Dorkin hem
But if don't spile his fun, my name ant iona,
than. Pm goin' down t0 the city by the railroad
next week-and when come back, why, wake
snakes that's all"
Mr.. Jonathan Doublkins was young farmer,
well to DO in the world. and looking out for
wife. He had been paying his addresses to Miss
Susan Peabody, the only child of Deacon Elder
berry Peabody, with fair prospect of success,
when city acquaintance of the Peabody's, one
Mr. Cornelius Gusset,w who kept retail dry goods
shop in Hanover street, Boston suddenly made his
appearance in the field, and commenced the cut
ting out game. Dazzled with the prospect Of be-
coming gentleman's wife, and pestered by the
importunities of her aspiring mamma, the village
beauty had begun to waver, when her old lover
determined on last and bold stroke to foil his RI
val. He went to the city, and returned; of his
business there he said nothing-not even to pump
ing maiden aunt who kept house for him. He
went not near the Peabody's, but labored in his
cornfeld, patiently awaiting the result of his mac
hnations.
The next day, Mr.. Gusset was seated with the
old folks and their daughter, in the best room OF
the Peabody mansion, chatting as pleasantly as
may be, when the door opened, and in rusheda
very dirty and furious Irish woman.
"Is it there ye are, Mr. Cornelius Gusset!-
Come out of that, before fetch ye, ye spalpecnl
Is that what ye promised me afore the Praste, ye
hay tin nagIr2 runnin' away from me and tho
chider-forsakin' yer lawful welded wife, and
runnin' afther the Yankee gals, We infdential."
! "Woman, there must be some mistake here"
stammered Gussst taken all aback by this charge.
"Dvi bit of a mistake, We sapint! Och!-
wirra wirra! was it for the likes of ye sacked
little Dinnis McCarthy-who loved the ground
trod on, and all bekase ye promised to make Ia
dy oi me-ye dirty thief of the wurruld2 VIII
We come along to the railroad station, where left
little Patrick, because he was too sick with the
small pox to come any furder-or will ye wait till
drag yea"
"Go-go-go along" gaspod Gusset. "Go,
and I'll follow you."
He though it best to temporize.
'sI1l give ye ten minutes" said the virago.-
'If ye amt there, it's me cousin, Thaddy Mul-
gruddery, will be afther ye. ye ugly thief"
And away went this unbidden guest.
Mr.. Gusset was then engaged in stammering
out a denial of all knowledge Of the virago, when
the parlor door again opened and little black ey-
ed, hatchet-faced woman, in fashy silk gown,
and cap with many ribbons perched on the to pof
her head invaded the sanctity of the room.
''Is he here :" she cried, in decided French
accent. Their she added with a scream, "Ah
mon Dieu le VOLTA Zere he is. Traitre mon
sire! Vat for you run away from ne? Dis two
tree years nevar see you-neyair-an my heart
broke very bad entirely"
"Who are you 2" cried Gusset, his eyes start
ing out Of his head, and shivering from head to
foot.
ede asks me who am. Oh you var respect
able old gentlhomme hear vat he ask. Who !
am peyfdc! ah II am your wife"
81 never see you 'lore-so help me Bob ~ cri-
ed Gusset, energetcally.
"Don't YOU swear I" said old Deacon Peabody
s'if you do, I'll kick you into fits won't have
no profane or vulgar language in my house"
"Oh, bless you, respectable old man Tell
him he must come viz me-tell him have spoke
to re constable-tell him --" Sobs chOked
her utterance.
"It's pesky bad business" said the deacon,
with unwonted ire. "Gusset, you're rascal!"
"Take care, Deacon Peabody! take care!" said
the unfortunate shopkeeper.
81 remarked you was rascal, ,Gusset. You've
gone and married two wives, and that 'ere's fiat
burglary, eff know any thing bout the Revised
Statoos."
"Two wives!" shrieked the Frenchwoman.
"Half dozen, for aught know to the contra
ry," said the deacon. "Now you clear out Of my
house, 90 away to the station, and clear out into
Boston, won't have nothing more to do with
YOU"
"But, deacon, hear me-"
al don't want to hear you. ye sarplnt," cried
the deacon, stopping his ears with his hands;
.smarryin' two wives, and comm courtin' third.
Go long! Clear out"
Even Mrs. Peabody, who was inclined to put
in word for the culprit, was silencsd. Susan
turned from him in horror; and in despair he fled
to the railway station, holly pursued by the clam
orous and indignant Frenchwoman.
That afternoon, as Miss Susan Peabody was
walking towards the village, she was overtaken
5y Mr.. Jonathan Doubikins, dressed in his best,
and driving his fast horse before his Sunday go-to
meeting chaise. He reined up, and accosted her.
"Hello, Suke get in and take rideW
s'Don't keer If do, Jonathan" replied the
Young lady, accepting the proffered seat.
81 say, you" said Jonathan grinning. "that ere
city felers turned out poorly pup, ant he"
ats dreadful, it's true," replied the young
lady.
''You had narrer escape, didn't ye?" pursued
the old lover. '.But he warn't never of no ac-
count anyhow What do the folks think of it."
s.They han't said word since he cleared out"
sForgot that night | carried you home from
singing school? 2" asked Jonathan abruptly.
"No, han't," replied the young lady, blush
ing and smiling at the same time.
"Remember them apples gin you?"
"Oh, yes"
I "They was good, wasn't they Z"
"First rate, Jonathan"
"Got hull orchard full Of them ere kind'r
fruit, Suke," said Jonathan, suggestively.
Susan was silent.
"G'lang!" exclaimed Jonathan, laying the
braid gently on the back of his horse. "Have you
any idea where we're goin', Suke"
PPM goin' to the village"
"No you an't-you're goin' along with me-"
"Where to 2"
"Providence-and you don't come back ill you
are Mrs. Doubikins, no how you can fix it,"
"How you talk, Jonathan"
'Dam the old folks!" said Jonathan, putting
on the string again. "Ef I was to leave you with
them much longer, they'd be tradn' you oil onto
some city feller with half dozen wives already"
The next dav. "a Mr.. and Mrs. Doubikins were
returning home. Jonathan said, confidentially:
, sMay as well tell you now, Suke, for havn't
, auv secrets from you, that Gusset never seen
them women afore they came stavein' into your
house and bowed him up 50. had, though
, Coet me ten dollars, by thunder! teached 'em
what to say, and expect they done it well!--
2 Gusset may be cute shopkeeper, but if he ex-
poets to get ahead of Jonathan Doubikins, he will
have to get up plaguy sight airier in the morn