Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1853-10-06

Inat followed stole a handful oil grey
hairs from the bald forehead Of Jedu
thum Spike, and, as If ashamed of the
theft, secretly restored them hidden
among the ehesnu, locks Of his young
relations. And, as farther restitution,
the same silent agents transferred unno-
ticed a portion Of the hopeful tender
ness oe the youthful Benedicts to refresh
the withered heart Of the disappointed
bachelor The time for Ihe interview 81
long anticipated. arrived at last. In the
luxurious rooms Of the lonely uncle,
Henry and Charles, The two elder nep ph
ews, waited impatIentIy the arrival cf
the younger.
at is useless looking for Edward"
said Charles, at last. 1--WE shan't see
him before evening. His wife is now
looking for needle TO darn his stock
ings. and replace the missing buttons up
on his coat" .~-..
Yet, as he spoke, cheerful step was
heard without, and the tardy brother en-.
tered the room, breathing quickly, and
with q smiling apology for his delay
The two first arrived exchanged glances
meaning'y. bui the merciless uncle cut
short their merriment, by saying grave
w. .... .....
"Henry, my boy, you are the oldest
Ii is just that you should lead upon this
occasion. Tell us frankly, how do you
enjoy married hfe?'
The Young man paused for moment
and then, with a comical grimace that ill.,
concealed his reluctance, he replied:
at is bitter dose to swallow. | con
fess. Uncle, you are revengcd."
There was a slight movement oi sur
prise, for Mrs. Henry Spike was recog.
nized as decidedly notable.
IL thought" said the uncle. dryly.
'tha, yours was pattern wife"
"Only too much so," returned The
nephew. "It is my belief that she was
modelled upon the most approved pat
terms and made up to order. L. ever
there was machine for performing me.
chanically every outward virtue, il is
Mrs Henry Spike. She never loses her
temper; indeed, doubt # she has any
to lose. She never be,rays any fluuer
of vanity or wounded feeling. To the
calmness of statute, she adds an in.
stnctive perception of decorum, rigtd
adherence TO rectitude, which leaves
nothing to hnpe or fear, and very litIle
TO enjoy. Nothing can disturb her
When our infant was dangerously i'll,
she moved about his cradle with the
same unperturbed composure. and drop
ped his las. cordial, as we thought, into
the cup with an un,reInbling hand"
81 hardly see how you came to marry
her," remarked Edward, par paren'
these.
"She was pretty, and mistook her
natural roses Tor bushes. and her silence
for delicate reserve. was much NOV.
ed when she once left me in tears; have
since learned she had the loothache.- -
can never lind in her department any
thing to forgive, and am tired of prals-
ing where correctness seems inevitable
Besides, she don't care for praise. She
was wound up al birth, and her hear,
pulsates with the regularity of pendu
lum. Ii | should hang myself some
morning of pure ennui, | know she
would arrange everything for respecta-
Bile burial. My condition is desperate.
In passing through New York last win
ter. l religiuusly avoided Lola Montez,
for ] knew should be smilten at a
glance. The slightest touch of human
frailty seems absolutely refreshing.-
Speak, brother" he added. after a briet
pause, sand in mercy point out some de-
feet in Mrs. Charles Spike" a.
MRS. Charley Spike. responded the
person addressed, sis not absolutely stu.
pid. nor entirely indifferent in matters OF
feeling. She gives some variety 10 lille
in point Of temper. and permits me to
hope to please, as well as fear TO offend.
But like your Reclina, she has one par.
amount idea. Order is Heavens frs,
law and is not the less that OF my i'm
maculste Vesta. Especially does she
insist upon the most spotless neatness,
at the expense of all other considera.
tions. discovered soon after my mar
riage that the world was lille too good
W hSc III. Inc pdtioTS were smut up 10
exclude The flies; the chambers, to avoid
the dust. The dining room furniture was
robed in Holland covers. and ugly mats
deformed every square yard OF carpet
ing. Canaries were banished because
they Uttered their cage. and my pet span
lei dismissed for neglecdng to wipe his
feet. Then pickles spoil the cutlery.
and eggs corrode the silver; coffee is lla-
ole to stain The linen, and even butter. if
incautiously used, may be the paren. of
a grease-spot. Cigars have long since
ab;ured. because spitsoons are an abom-
inalion. If sit, il is. .Mr. Spike. our
chair mars the WALL or, .Charles, you
are rocking upon the rug II ! walk,
it is, Pray. leave off yoor boots at the
door, Mr.. Spike, and 'es me bring your
slippers somennes think | will re-
move to an ho.eI. and send home my
com pliments daily in perfumed note.-
| shall expect soon after to see the whole
estsblishment in wax, and reposing un-
der glass, like collection of fanciful
wonders. Come, Edward. your wife is
~ Z