New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1853-05-20
TIE AILING WOMAN.
A Mournful Account of her Ailing Family.

BY WILLIAM o. EATON.
Some people are always ailing. At any rate,
they think they are, and say so, screwing up
their grievances, real or imaginary, as if they
were animated with a strong compound tine
ture Of the souls Of Job and observation-disclosures
tation and complaint, being the continued en-
ployment Of their doleful tongues
Mrs Betsey Beeswax was one Of this stamp
called on Betsey one day. l call her famil-
iarly - Betsey," because she confded in me all
her troubles, making Inc thoroughly familiar
with herself and all her complaints
1t was cold, sloppy winters day Mrs.
Beeswax was sitting close to the CRATE, in
large, old-fashioned easy chair, almost as big
as a chaisc. She was bending forward, with her
shoulders hunched up, and her head nearly
into the fireplace
''Ah, dear, is it you :" said She as entered,
her ancient face wearing the usual lachrymose
expression Of hopeless misery
'' Yes ma'am," said l. "and how 10 you do
today
Q, miserably, miserably l am enjoying
dreadful poor health. There is no telling how
much | suffer. ! ache all over and don't relish
any vittles''
l suggested that the bad weather might be
the cause of her depression of spirits.
$ No. no. she moaned, . it isn't that, though
the weather is bad enough to be sure Maria
mas gone Out WITHOUT Nef fuDDerS, ana sne II
be laid up next, I'm certain and the children,
they bring in the wet all over the house, and
whenever the door shuts, it seems to saw,
. whooping-cough! whooping- cough brown
creatuIs rheumatiz -
What is your principal complaint Z"
so, everything, The doctor says he don t
know what he can do for me, and | know no.
body can. I'm dreadful fdgety and nervous all
the time, and then the children, they make
such a racket Sometimes l think I've got the
hip complaint, and then feel as if my lungs
were out Of order, and then have a twinge in
the side, and then a shooting pain in the head,
and then my eyes ache! 1t would make your
hair stand on end, know, to see the goose flesh
on me sometimes p
l expressed deep sympathy for her suffer-
ings, and ventured the original idea that if she
felt cold, she had better try TO keep warm
g All yes, dear; but the young folks will
keep leaving the doors open! and then fuel is SO
high, and you don't know what a moustrous
DAFT there is in our chimneys The heat all
goes up the chimney; and then I've got such
extrayagant help! They are the most extrava.
CANT help | ever see You'd think they were
going to roast an OK, somestines, to see fires
they build in the kitchen"
6 But won't they obey your directions Why
don't You turn them away and get others -
Its a drttful difficult thing to get good
help; dretful difficult The first one turned
away always burnt the bread, without fail the
second was so lazy that she could hardly put
one foot betoreshe other the next one was very
sassy; the next one set her impudent cap for
Maras first beau"
'' And got him -
6 And got him The next one was so sluttish
excuse me for the expression-that l couldn't
bear her in my sight; the next one had such
poor health that | had to keep doctoring her all
the time, and when she did get we'll, she ran
away with the spoons
g Worse than that, dear She sent another
girl worse than she was She had n sweet ,
smooth face, and you'd thought butter would
not melt in her mouth, but she cut up the awful
lest capers with the boys, and when she went
away. | found she had stolen Aunt Billy's silver
watch-the largest ever see-a beautiful coun-
ter-pane, covered all over with roses; loaf of
sugar and sugar-tongs; beautiful tortoise
shell snuff box three pillar cases O, ow
. Good heayensl Mrs. Beeswax. what's the
matter with you y
so, dear, dear, deary me A twinge right
through the liver. ! believe my liverll be the
death Of me, after all.
:" I'm sorry, very sorry, Mrs Beeswax, that
Providence has singled you out as the subject
of so many Affections. But alfs for the best. +"
g don't want to be wicked" she replied
- but | don't believe it is !" There's Maria,
she's subject to the ner-raioSy, an old COM
plant Of hers; George, he's riekety; Sam, the
| last saw of him before he went to the West
said he knew he should die of fever and ague
Mary, she says she can't eat without its dis.
| tressing her and Laura's almost sure she's 60
ing to have the scrotula; and then the two chill
lren are complaining of the cnilbrains all the
time As for me, | feed mostly upon medicine,
! the more | take, the more it don't seem to do me
| any good Bat d0Hi complain. | never say
a word to any body, for | hate people that's
complaining all the time. But if ever there was
an afflicted family, this is one and il ever there
was an afflicted woman, she's me q
But can't you ascertain what your disease
be- Don't your physician give you an idea Z;
mo, no--he only gives me medicine
"What kind of medicine -
Pills.
sWhat kind of pills -
"What kind, dear Why, massy sakes,
never asked him | never studied medicine!
don't want to know the names. My neighbor'
are pestering me all the time with new names
and | never can remember them. That's sigl
that my memory is gone, and sometimes thin
| am getting a little iuny. Oh if ever
should have to go to the hospital, Oh if
should ~
Were any of your family ever insane" !"
inquired.
Il don't know, but think it's as like as not
Ny poor, DEAR dead, old Mr.. Beeswax used t
have some symptoms oil it, and lived so Ion
with him, perhaps may have ketched it of hin
Why, he used TO be so crazy, sometimes, that
would actually say that nothing was the maj
ter with me, and that only complained becau:
wanted to hear myself talk unce took Il
broomstick to him on that very account. Bu
90! what it is TO be ailng, ailing all Il
time and to have no comfort, and nothing TO
you any good I'm poor, feeble creetur p
gle. -.jingie-crdsh--w
the sound that followed these words--evident
: from the breaking of crockery below stairs
bncSinS l'' NV olair a1 I,