Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-11-15
I For the Star.I
LETTER FROM PEREGR1NA

GENTLEMEN: Fennimore Cooper speaks
of "that minute precision which creeps
into the habits of single life" plead
guilty to it. Sometimes [ have occasion
to enter my friends chamber before the
servant has arranged it for the day. Such
state of things | cannot describe. On
the bureau lay the razors, strop, brush
and shaving soap. The shaving towel,
generally, is seen sticking to the clothes
brush. The carpet is strewed with slip
pers and muddy boots, pantaloons want
ing buttons, and shirt-collars without
strings. My friends husband lays in bed
until the last moment, and then makes
his preparation for breakfast with a great
amount of zeal and bad temper. He gives
a tremendous jerk to the bell, and at the
same moment thrusts his face into the
hall, calling loudly for boots and water.
You can hear him all over the house COM
planning to his wife of the hardships be
has to endure. She tells me that he tears
the buttons off his clothes in his hurry to
get into them, and then filings them about
the room, declaring nothing is ever done
in the way of keeping his wardrobe in
order. He cuts his face shaving, and
jerks the strings off his collars while
tying them. | cannot tell You how such
state of things would discompose me.
Give me in preference ga minute pre-.
cision."
promised that | would mention the
real causes of the prejudice entertained
by the world against old maids. All !.
sirs, this is the objectionable sin with
old maids. Nobody ever courts them.
They are damaged goods-they are not
called for.
But have all married women been
courted? Did ever any one court Mrs.
So-and-so! Did not Mr.. So-and-so's
father bargain with her father, and agree
to sell his handsome worthless son for
thirty thousand dollars, the daughter to
be thrown in2
Did not Mrs. Thing ems brothers tell
Mr.. Thing-'em that if he did not marry
their sister, they would shoot him through
the head for tritling with her! (Trifing !.
he only asked her to dance twice in one
evening.)
Did not Captain Blank marry Mrs.
Blank because he was ordered to Mexi
CO! She had $4,000, and although the
gallant Captain was in love with another
lady, he married his present wife as a
last resort, and thus, very likely, saved
himself being shot at Buena Vista.
And there is Mrs. You-know- who'll
mean. She was an old maid, as well
known on Pennsylvania avenue as the
City market. She boarded in the same
house with Mr.. You-know- -I-mean.
She always happened to be going up
stairs when he was coming down. One
day as they met on the steps, the lady
stopped suddenly, and said What did
you say, sir?" Nothing, madam, :" he
replied, meekly. lit is high time you
had said something" she rejoined, indig-
nantly. In one month they were mar
ried. Three months they have been man
and wife, and all his old friends are dis
tressed to see how bald he has become in
that time.
Is it only old maids who are never
courted
Yesterday evening, my little favorite
Willie lay ON the rug before the fire,
tired out with play, but fighting against
the sleep that was threatening to overcome
him. His sister, two years older, was
seated in her low chair beside him, occa-
sionally asking him some question about
his top, or handy, or something connected
with his outdoor amuscments. LII ap-
pened to sneeze flor [ had taken cold
going out in the evening to hear Ole
Bully and this aroused the young gentle
man. He started to his feet, opened his
eyes very wide, stared me in the face,
and asked me "why did not get mar
ried !.''
''Ilush!" said his sister, very demurely,
"may be nobody will have her."
This may be the case, gentlemen = but
| shall show that there are old maids in
the world worth having.
Yours, PEREGRINA.
FEMALE HUSBAND.
T.