Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1853-10-31
Hor. CHARLES ALLEN
WING COMPUTATION.

AAS puSHtAOhs
A certain youth once awoke his father, in the
night time, with the exclamation of, sob father,
there are five hundred cats in our barn! Don't
you hear em yelIng!'' the old man rubbed
his eyes, listened moment, and then, with an
incredulous shake OF the head, replied, sFive
hundred cats, Eb? Well, that's putting the thing
considerable high guess there can't be so many
as thai" ''There's four bundled, then, lather,''
cried the youth shear how they do squaIl. -
"Four hundred CATS responded Old Doubtful,
with Glow and emphatic utterance, ssthere can't
be so many; they fill the barn. "Well, there's
two hundred, at any rate.'' The old man gave
his head dubious shake, and was silent. ssWell.
now you can't suppose there amt fifty,' said the
youth, making effort to fix the conviction of
his sire, and looking at him with eyes that gs-
tened in the lamp light. "Fify cats are some,
tell you, boy, and don't believe there are if
ty.' swell, there is our old cat and neighbor
Lawrence's,'' shouted Eb, ''you'll believe that,
won't you'" ''Ah, now you're right said the
old man, putting his head on his pillow; 'sand |
amt surprised you thought that there were FIVE
hundred. for them Gals great on squaIl.'
The accounts that are published, in this ctv.
OF large and enthusiastic gatherings of wings. are
OF the same character with the account given BY
the boy, Of the cats 10 the barn. They seem by
the noise they make, to be legion, when, in fact.
they are only Sour Cat and neighbor Lawrence's.
In theatrical representations, it is sometimes me-
cessary to make mimic thunder, and those who
have not looked into the interior of things, might
suppose that Jove was behind the scenes, hurting
his thunderbolts across The gloom; but but there
is no Joye there. boy, with maet and a
sheet, hot Of lightning, but Of tin, makes all the
noise. So it is with our neighbors, the wings;
in lieu Of an oratorcal Joye, they trot out, from
some lawyers office, an incipent Sancho Panza,
to essay his powers of speech and judgment, and
they supply bis lack of thunder, with brazen in
struments and bass drum.
The numbers, which the wings put down as
attending their meetings, are purely fictitious:
they are mere phantasms, which will not admit
of the evidence of arlhmelicaI demonstration:
and the noise, which they make at their meet
ings, is like the noise made in Chinese warfare:
it is the sound Of splitting gongs, which terri
fees The senses, bat does not do any hurt to any,
thing. There was time, when enthusiastic
thousands crowded to wing meetings, and when
strong men talked great words from wing plat
forms. The wings were party, then, and had
principles. The leaders were a power in the
country, because they seemed 10 have faith in
Truth and Liberty, and thousands Of honest. true
men, had faith in them. But they cast off their
principles, as they throw aside old garments, and.
from that moment, they became os weak a.
Sampson was, when his locks were shorn bv the
hand Of DeliIah. The wing eadersare no longer
the representatives Of great IDEAS; they are the
representatives Of shams and decisions; and, in
order 70 maintain their equiyoca position in the
Commonwealth, they make "our cat and neigh
Dor Lawrence's" DO the squalIrng of five hundred
ordinary tabbies; and they supply the places Of
the mighty men Of old with garruous boys, from
bones, and iambourines.
The wing meeting, which took place in the
City Hall on the ed Of October, was called a
'grand raiiy;" "an enthusiastic demonstration, -
ian old fashioned wing meeting" &c. In our
Judgement, II was concert Of few fantastica
wings, which ended pretty much as the dance in
Monk Le~is's poem ended, with blue lights. and
a sort Of fair Imogene burial.
The fact Of the matter is thn, ,.hig,s.. a..
degenerated into what the French cali a petty
vaudeville--au arrant farce Wing leaders NAV
send forth rich representative Of hunkerism
from Boston, whose length Of purse makes moor
amends for his bankruptcy in political sol