Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1853-09-08
YARIETY.

By frequent resorts 70 the comforts Of q
mysterious blzck bottle, which be had with
him
Suddsnly tie coach came in eoaiact With
large stone, which, without doing any O.
iher damage, deprived Billy Of his 'equilib-
rum, aud 50 down be rolIedupoH the stony
ground.
sWot'n tkuader yer doi4l' said Bill !;
<HoW came yer to tip oytrP
The driver Informed him that the stage
had not. been oYertvrneA, and the passcn-
gers assured Bill VI a Jeta was right.
Billy approached the vehicle again, and
reneunted slcwly to his former seat out
side
sDidnt upset d'yop say p
sNot at az, rcpliad4 she driver. I'll
.Well, If 10 kno6'd that, said Billy II
wsaIauit ha' got Of
MA clergymanhappeniBg 10 pass lit
tie boy who Mas weeping bitterly he halted
aud asked
what's tic matter ny little felIowr IS
The boy replied-- ~ Il 81
Before, we could hardly get enoughto eat
and nov what shall we do, for there's an
other one couie,' Il
Hash thy mourning, and wipe of those
tears, said the clergyman, and remenber
that He neyee seads mouths without sending
yictuals 10 put into them
Il kpowthat,' said the boy, but then be
sends all the mouths to our house, and sths
vietuals to yours
1z- II say, gambo, does yc know what
mafes dc corn grow 50 fast When yos puts de
80, / dsn't know hardly, 'cspt Ii makes
de groun, stronger for dc corn $685.
Now / jist tell ye. When decorn begins
to smoll do manure, il don't like de 'fumeyy,
80 il hurries out of the groun' an gifts up as
high a. possible, 50 Is 70 not breathe Dc bad
air 49, = IS.
The youth who perpetrated this, has since
had bis pantaloons enlarged; they had got
20 Be entirely too snail for him.
Father, father look ye here Is
{ Well, ssnny, what do you want nowg'ss
WAS George Washington ever married TO
anybody else but his wife,
Shut up--you're . fosl-What do you
ask that for =
Why eos this ere paper says that Great
Britain was the mother of this oountry, and
everybody says w ashington. was the father !
r.of it-so he must have been married before
he come over to have such an awful big
young 'un9. aE
sEa-Wherc Is your sen, rnHa'am p
AT the juvenile school
tWhere is thRtgi 49,
sOh, sir, itisat South Boston-she House
of Information, sir
Such was an Irish womanis sly way Of
throwing an air of responsibility ever the
situation Of her disobedient and unmanage
sble bantling Il
~ Pa, will you answer me . question p
'oersainly. my boy
sWell. ia, Is the world roundl q
YES os foursei
We'll thea. il the worlds round howe
id come 60 an end p siil<
n-'I believe that mine will be the fate
eof Abel said devoted wife to her husband
enc day.
J. How SO y replied the husband
Because Abel was killed BY club, and
yeur club will kill me if you continue to 20
10 it every night
EsrOld Squire B..was elected Judge Of
the inferior court Of some county Of Georgia.
Z When he went home his delighted wife ex.
claimed my dear, you are Judge,
what am / =
The same daraed fool you alters was, !
was the tart reply.
Es>A poor, laboring man was told that
geld was the hardest metal
Isit :. said he swe.l; don't know much
sabsut that; all 4 know is, that its the
hardestto get Il
hs-Has your son Timothy failed p In
squired Gnbbens Of Stnbbenss the other day
s0h, not at xll; he has only assigned over
his property, and fallen back to take better
position, was the reply ss
TP aternal---1My SOM what would you
do IL your dear father should Be suddenly
taken away frop,5oul TT
I Son-Swear and chaw tobacker
Nothing sets Jpn woman's spunk Ike
ealing her ugly she gets her back right up
Z like = cat wAen strange dog comes il !;
she's Al. eyes, claws and bsistles
n-Tke names Of enc 81 tie Boston pc.
iicemen IS john Hartsherns A very proper
name, by the way, for one who spendsa lAfs,
portion Of his 'tisla in .bringing folks TO-.
Es-It Is stated, but with what truth we
de net pretend q sal, that all the ladies' Who
,swesp the streets with their long dresses
tAAtG uAe ASSt A-t-' A4At<A AttA-r1
e5-Why are tsll-tsls woman ike German
Natehesl De you gIse It up Because
ltheY are sfepeaters. 49,
NeYoF trust man for sho rehemence
his asseyeration. whose bare word you
wsnld nsA trust knsFe will make % more
q swearing % izlsehced, than II izrning
csi1mny i The voice Of these Who
having esisAef ksol kelf: lst good IN
~ iisary N,rl 8eo,hsf n5s thsre i
4 great hsel more gospel ID = ls1f Of brad
s6net Res. th-a 10 an old dry sermon. I.
81 konseisfce IS lie best friend rs have.
with i isc NAY til defiance Is nan r;tkoat
!. ~ ~ frishcs j. ..s eV.ld can - Il ~
soto r. 81
+. ~ u 6is Vie sa3iAg Of great i;r;oe
L1;.. ~ long thssttsIi,A. l1tt At had f.4hi
ucft b5i b bad people. sri more bad Il
,r,,i bibr.t, than he lal ever sxfss,ci
nTsNsn ara 1t<s- ). rilicrlsps for lh>
,os.''<z, t4>} t,ye - Ios lies. de- aIec.
F1, ~ n.s lILs sl..s'si
- !. F,a4a.. Stre, he.-. isfcEih