Hannibal journal. (Hannibal, Mo.) 1852-1853, 1853-05-12
THE DRUNKARD'S CATECHISM.
QueSti0n.-What is your name
Anstosr.-

@AHStCiT,-DTunkuTu.
Q.--Who gave you that namel
A.--As drink is my god, and publicans
and their wives are my god-fathers and
Igod-mothers, they gave me that name in
my drunken sprees, wherein, was made
a member Of strife, child Of want, and an
Iinheritor of bundle of rags!!
Q.-Wha. did your rgod-fathers and god
mothers do for youl
A.-They did promise and vow three
things in my name lst, that should re-
Inounce the comforts of my own fireSide !;
2nd, starve my wife and hunger my chill
dren; 3rd, walk in rags and tatters with
my hat brim going Aip.fap all the days Of
my life.
Rehearse the articles of thy belief.
believe in the existence of King AlcO-
hol, the great chief Of all manner of vice.
and the source of nine-tenth of all disease.
Il belive in the existence of a set OF ven
lders and manufacturers of this liquid fire,
and lastly, not only believe, but am sure,
that when my money is all spent, the land
lord will stop !he tap, and turn me out of
oors.
O. How many commandments have
ou drunkards to keep!
A.--Ten.
(Which be theyl
A.--The same which the landlord and
landlady spake in the bar, saying, we are
thy master and thy mistress, who brought
thee up out of the paths OF virtue, and
placed thee in the ways Of vice, and sci thy
Ileet in the way leading to Jefferson City.
lsi. Thou shalt use no other house but
mine.
2nd. Thou shalt not make unto thySell
any substitute for intoxicating drink, such
as cold water, coffee, lemonade, and ginger
pop, for am a Jealous man, wearing the
coat that is on thy back, eating thy chill
Idren's bread, and pocketing the money that
would make the vile OF thy bosom happy.
3rd. Thou shalt not use our house in
vain thou shalt not enter unless thou
spend, for we will not thank thee TO use
our house in vain.
4th. Remember that thou eat but one
meal on the Sabbath day; six days shalt
thou drink and spend all thy gains, bu; the
seventh is the Sabbath, wherein, am forced
to shut up three hours, while | wash my
floors, mind my fires, repIinish with sawdus
nv tap-room, and make ready for the wor
ship OF Bacchus during the remainder o
the day
5th. Honor the publicans and thei
wives with thy presence, that thy days ma.
be few and miserable in the land wherein
thou lvest.
9th. Thou shalt commit murder by hun
gering, starving and beating thy wife an
family.
9TH. Thou shalt commit suicide by poi'
oning thyseiG with Alcohol.
7 Sth. Thou shalt steal thy wife and chi
!. dren's bread, and rob thyself Of all comior
9th. Thou shalt bear false witness whe
: thou speakest of thy horrors, and say tho
: art in health, when at the same time tho
!, art labOring under the barrel-iever.
I 10Th. Thou shalt covet all tha: y
: neighbor is possessed of; thou shalt GOV
G his land, his house, his oxen, his ass, h
d pulse, his health, his wealth, his cIothe
e that thou mayest indulge in drinking, az
e help TO buy the brewers coach, dray-horse
1t fine buildings, and thus enable him 10 Ii
a in idleneso, and also the landlord to buy
. beautiful sign to put over his door, wi
= |" licensed TO sell wines, spirits, and porter
written thereon.-[Old Paper.
AZ 4 -sI..- L.