The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1853-09-07

tlclpated, arrived aG last. In tho
luxurious rooms of tho lonely uncle,
Henry and Charles, the two elder
nephews, waited impa.iently the ar
rival Of the younger. "
"It is useless looking for Edward
said Charles, at last. "We shan't
see him before evening. His wife is
now looking for q needle to darn
his-stockings, and replace tho mis-
sing buttons upon his coat"
| Yet, as he spoke, q cheerful
step was heard without, and the
tardy brother entered the room,
breathing quickly, and with smil.
ing apology for his. delay. The
two first arrived exchanged mean
ing glances; but the merciless uncle
cut short their merriment, by say.
ing gravely,
"Henry, my boy, you are the
oldest. 1t is just that you should
lead upon this occasion. Tell US
frankly, how do you enjoy mar.
ried lifc?"
The young man paused for o
moment, then, with a comical grim.
ace that but ill.concealcd his reuct.
ancc, he replied:
"It is a bitter dose to swal.
low, l confess. Uncle, you are re.
yenged."
There was q slight movement Of
surprise, for Mrs. Henry Spike was
recognized as decidedly potable.
81 thought" said the uncle,
drily, "that yours was pattern wife.
"Only too much So" returned the
nephew. "It is my belief that she
was modelled upon the most ap-
proved patterns and made up to
order. If ever there was a ma.
chine for performing mechanical.
ly every outward virtue, it is Mrs.
/ aWKc.-S She never loses her TEN,
| per; indeed, I doubtif she has any
to lose. She never betrays any
fiutter of vanity or wounded feel.
ing. To the calmness of stat,
ue, she adds an instructive percep.
tion Of decorum, rigid adherence to
rectitude, which leaves nothing to
hope or fear, and very little to
enjoy. Nothing can disturb her.
When our infant was dangerous
| ly i'll, she moved about his cradle with
the same unperturbcd composure, and
dropped his last cordial, as we
thought, into the cup with an un
trembling hand"
81 hardly see how you came to
marry her." replied Edward, pa,
parenthese.
| "Shc was pretty, and I uiistook
her natural roses for bushes, and
her silence for delicate reserve.
was much moved when she once left
inc in tears; have since learned she
had the toothachc. I can never
find in her department anything te
forgive. and am tired Of praisine
where correctness seems inevitable
Besides, she don't care for praise.
She was wound up at birth, and her
heart pulsates III the regularity o
a pendulum. If I should hang my
self some morning Of pure ennui
| know she would arrange every
thing for respectable burial: Ny
condition is desperate. In passing
through Now York last winter. re
ligiously avoided seeing Lola Mon
tez, for I knew l should bic smitten a,
a glance: The slightest touch o.
human frailty seems absolutely ne
cessary. Speak, brothcr," he ad
dee; after brief pause, "and ii
mercy point out some defect in Mrs
Charley Spike"
Mrs. Charley Spike responded
the person addressed, is not abso
lutely stupid, nor entirely indifferen,
in matters of meeting. She gives
some variety to life in point of tenn
per, and permits me to hope to please
as we'll as fear to offend. But like
your Rectiua, she has, alas! one par
amount idea. Order is Heavens first
law, and it is not the less that of my
immaculate Vesta. Especially does
she insist upon the most spotless neat
ness, at the expense of all other con
siderations. ! discovered soon after
my marriage that the world was q
little too good to live in. The parlors
we're shut up to exclude the flies; the
chambers, to avoid the dust. The
dining room furniture was robed in
Holland covers, and ugly mats de-
formed every square yard of carpet
ing. Canaries were banished because
they Uttered. their cage, and my pc,
spaniel dismissed for neglecting &c
wipe his feet. Then pickles spoil the
cutlery, and eggs corrodo the silver
coffee is liable to stain tho linen, aud