Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1853-11-16

r do on the 17th and, after encountefing
) severe gale during the 21st and 22d, arfiv'
d ed at Loochoo on the 25th of July, and th'
e two steam frigates returned TO Hong Kont
e on the evening of The 7th OF August.
r Selected for the Spectator.
r A Queer Customer.
> 1T is most amusing said Richard Merryn
as he relinquished the attempt to rise from
the gutter at the corner of - and
streets, ut is really astonishing, how soon
this dreadful climate of America brings on
old age. shall never survive to get home
and write book about the place-never'
Here am, six feet two, without my stock
ings, sprawling in dirty republican gut.
ter, without being able 10 keep myself out
it. There's lamp winking and blinking
in nv face, as if it wants to laugh, and
would if it had a mouth, and big brute Of
a dog lust now nosed me 10 see whether i
was good to eat. What country! What
cutters and what liquor only took nine
smallers of whiskey and what with that and
the premature old age, | verify believe I'm
assassinated- gone chicken J. Mr.
Merryn now clamored so loudly that assls-
tance soon came.
"Sience there What's the matter'"
"Matter yourself! I'm being done, or,
as some people say, I'm doing. The march
of mind has tripped, and Richard Meryn
is too deep for himself. Help me out
gently-there-aint in very prettypick.
/ le. This is what the doctors call gutta Sc
rend, isn't it?
"When was at school the boys would
have called you guitwdi.'
"They wouId'n mt have known much gram
mar if they did. I'm liquld-see me
drip"
aOh oh P' said the watch "do'n! try to
be funny:I know you well enough. now
you've wiped your face. You're the chap
that locked me up in my box once, and
when burst open the door, you knocked
me heels over head and legged it.
"That's me. did that thing. How do
you like the ups and downs of public life !
Isn't variety charming.
"If it wasn't that I'm a public func-
tionary and mustn't give way TO my feel
ines, Pd crack your cocoa and ease my
mind by doing as | was done by. III
make an example fyou though: You're my
prisoner. Haliy Coosha Ito the watcher.
That's Dutch for ben' tuck up"
"Well give us your arm. Don't be afraid
of the mud. Gutter mud IS very whole
some. Look at the pigs how fat it makes
'em and if you like fat pork why shold'nt
you like what makes it fat' So-so-
Steady. Now I'll tell you all about tother
night. I was passing your box IN TREND
ly promiscuous sort OF way. i thought
YOU were asleep, or had run down and
turned the kew TO wind you up. If a watch
amt wound up, it can't either keep good
time or even 60"
"Well what else =
"Why. then watched the box.and when
YOU came OUT boxed the watch. That's
all. 1t grew out of my obliging DISPOSE
ton"
"Ha very oblrging. Now its my turn
to wind you up, and TO do it in the same
way. ri take you before the watch ma
ker. to be cleaned and regulated. You 60
too fast, but I'll put spoke in your wheel;
he'll set YOU by the State House and make
you keep good time"
"Why watchy you're wag. Why don't
you say that was horizontal and that
you lifted me up like a patent lever =
You're awake now, but that night you
was mt up to trap or you'd have caught me.
I caught weasel asleep that time. put
fresh salt on you for once"
To add one more to his vagares, MerEn
now refused to walk step further and Sit
ting down on step, loudly avowed his re.
solution declaring his name was not Walk
| er.
"Whether your name is Walker or not,
you must CO."
"Not without a go-cart-you can't force
me to 90. I'm legal tender and you must
take me. Hain't got an Office, or at least
public situation, here on the steps, Mr..
Charley Brattlestraps' If must 60, it
shall be on the Yankee principle OF rota-
tion; bring me wheelbarrow' Reform
me out regularly"
Persuasion being useless, the officer pro-
cured assistance and wheelbarrow in
which Merryn was placed-away they
went.
$50 we 20" said Merryn. "charley's
making barrow.night of me. Gently over
the stones don't like bumpers except
when get them of porter This is the way
to Wheeling-hurra cart before the
horse ~ =,
When arrived at the watch-house, Merryn
insisted upon being wheeled up stairs and
stvled the place barro1r-nial castle.
"Pm modest man" said he sand no
stoirers if can't have ride up. think
myself entitled 10 drawback" So say
ing, he attempted to escape, but not being
so nimble with his feet as with his tongue,
he was soon caught and lugged back, being
as he said like Goldsmith's work, beautiful
ly chased. Willing hands make short
work, and in consequence, the unsavory
punster was soon carried up alolt and next
morning, sober and penitent, paid his Gpsy
fine and his carriage hire, win ooie'u'
countenance.
| VALUE OF A PLouGH.-Among the KAT
frs. agriculture is considered to be kind
of labour unworthy ofa warrior,an is there-
fore left entirely to the women. When
thew first saw plough at work, they gazed
At i for time in astonished and delighted
silence OF last one of them gave utterance
to his feelings IN this exclamation-SSee