Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1853-10-06
YARIETY.

K
ii Houstop's picture Of Horse Greeley, as
follows
This pamphlet holding up one) was is
sued from the press Of Horace Greeley, ed
itor Of the New York Iribune. Horace is
most remarkable man. He is the whitest
man IN the world Ills skin is milk white
his hair Is white, aud thin. aud scattering
: lie yearsa white hat aud white coat and
+ l mn.t be compelled 10 give it to you as my
/ candid opinion, that his heer is of the same
color There IS another popularity about
Horace that must not fail to notice 1t
Is said that when be gets up of morning, be
runs his legs through his pantaloons SO far
thai tie bottom aof them comes just near
enough the top Sof his boots to say Coed
morning toyou
ps-A young lady Of sweet SIXTEEN with
blue eyes and dafk brown hair adyertises in
the Louisville Courier for husband She
speaks French AMI plays The piano. A young
man who il haaasome and agreeable is all
she mants. Money is no object, as she dc.
Jsires 10 live on love altogether.
Sbacertaihly ought 70 be allowed the priv
ilege Wefancy she would prefer pork and
potatoes before she hadtried her erial diet
many days
~. Doctor saba hard looking, brandy.
faced customer, the other day. to a physician
--"Doetor. I'm troubled with an oppression,
an nneasiness ABOUT the breast, What do
you suppose The matter isa" '.All very easi
ly accounted for,p said The physician; "you
have water on yonr chest" Water Come,
that.lI do well enough for joke; but how
could get water.on mychest when hsvn't
touched drop Ing fifteen years If you had
said brandy you lnight have hit IT,,
rThere is young lady 1t Saratoga Of
understanding lightness, that Whit Of wind
blow her over the house, like thistle down
She IS blue eyed creature, and so volatile
and ethereal That We sheuld not be at all sur
prised to aesrthaf she had retired from the
~~eslsdsana taken ap her residence in hon
eysucklc
m-Bayle tellsns Of General Of the Ju
suits Al r otle. once exalting of his. greatness
and his order. wha thus expressed hin,stl IL
20 a fsicnd,.'I Will tell you. in this very
chan,ber l. govern.all Iialy-what do say
Italy, govern all~Enrope itself, aud mo-
Europe alone, but the whole world'
nEAn Irish boy, who was trying hard Il
get place denied that he was Irish. Il
Cont know what you mean by not being an
freshman, said the gentleman who was about
hiring him; t.but Mis know, you were born
in Ireland Och. your honor, ifthat's all. :
sail The boy, ssmall blame to that Sup
pose had been born ia stable, would
have been a horsele
Uz-tCan you tell me where Mr. Smith
lives, mister r
sSnith- Smith--what Smith-there are .
good many Of that name in these parts; my
.pame is Smith
aWhy, don't know his tother name
but he's a sour and grabbed ssrt Of fellow
andthey call him crab Smith'
/Oh-thsd II Ts,pose I'm the man.
G5-A gentleman, whose turn ii was tc
preach il certain church, happening to gel
wet. was standing before the session room
FIRE. 10 dry his clothes, aud when his col
league came ii. be asked him TO preach ior
hia.; rs he was very wet "No Sir, thank
yau; was the Prompt reply. "preach yourself
I you will be dry enough in the pulpit"
Il 10 Plato defines man-"An animal hav
lug two igs. aud no feathers" This imper-
feet description attracted the ri licue Of Di,
8oge'nes; who, ,qsffify, and in derisioa, intro
dueed 70 bis school-a to,ri, stripped Of its
/ featasrSsand eontemptuously asked 'Ia
Ibis T1tio's alaa p n
I HF What beautiful virtue is benerelencc !
It is precious tie existing between man and
man, as children OF one common Father-a
tic wholly unaffected by difference Of age,
station, Kindred or country. and over which
the artificial distinctions Of vain world have
little power.
ES-The usual place Of resort for Dublin
duellists Is called the Fifteen Acres. An
attorney of that city, in penning challenge
thought most likely be was drawing a lease
and invited his antagonist TO meet him at
.sthe place called Fifteen Acres-be the same
more or less
s. ~ Fanny Fern says,Ai If there Was but
ono woman in the world themen would have
terrible time Fanny il right; but we
would ask her what kind Of time the wo-
men would have If there was but one man
in existence
I.Ths surest way to prevent yo1ng
couple from marrying is to oppose them =
Tell. them you would sooner see tLem in
their graves" and twelve months afterwards.
their baby will pass you twicss day in vii
low wagoa.
EfThe Ovid Bee says that runaway
horse vas stepped few days since, in thai
village b Just throwing bucket Of water
~ his face. In this city We manage things
dlitreptly. We pour onl the water. ana
sAen throw the bucket al him.
-ScrenitF Of mind is worth nothing
unless AZ has been earned; a man should be
- oaes susceptible Of passions, and able t.
subdue them
r. There areno songs comparable to the
songs Il Zion, no cratious equal to those Of
the Prophets, and no politics like those
Which the Scriptures teach
lii Make Jour company . rarity nn6 pee
De bill yalue il Men despise what (key
can!pasily have s.
3, ts,r The Bible. 10 tie following Sentiment;
hksks prslty good idea Of the best Of society
~ bile bearer i verse thap thief