The Belmont chronicle, and farmers, mechanics and manufacturers advocate. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1848-1855, 1853-09-16
From the N. Y. Musical World & Times.
NEWSPAPER.DOM.

IT is beyond my comprehension how Methu-
| saeh lived nine hundred and sixty-nne years
without newspaper; or, what the mischief
Noah did, during that, "forty days" shower,
when he had exhausted the study of Natural
H story. 1t makes me yawn to think of it.
Or what latter generations did, the famished
half-hour before meals; or, when travelling,
when the old stage-coach crept up a steep
hill, some dusty hot summer noon. Shade of
Franklin! how they must have been ennuyedt
How did they ever know when flour had
:.rz"-or what was the market price of pork,
small tooth combs, cotton, wool and mo-
lasses. How did they know whether Queen
| Victoria had made her brother an uncle or an
aunt? How could they find out whether Fanny
Fiddle stick was Napthali Wilkins sister!
What christianized old men and snappsh old
ladies! What KEEP. the old maids from making
mince-meat of pretty young girls! What did
love-sick damsels do for "sweet bits ofpoetry"
and "touching continued stories!" Where
did their papas find solace when the coffee
was muddy that toast smoked and the beef
steak raw, or done to leather! What did cab
drivers do, while waiting for tardy patron!
What did draymen do, when there was "a
great calm" at the dry goods store of Go
Ahead g. Co.! What screen did husbands
dodge behind, when their wives asked them
for money!
Some people define happiness to be one
thing, and some, another. define it to be a
room "carpeted and furnished" with "exchan-
ges," with place cleared in the middle for
two arm chairs; one for a clever editor, and
one for yourself. say it is to take up those
papers, one by one, and laugh over the funny
things and skip the stupid ones,-to admire
the ingenuity of would-be literary lights, who
pilfer one half their original (D ideas and
steal the remainder. ] say it is to shudder
thanksgiving that you are not ip the mar
riage list,-to try, for the hundredth time to
solve the riddle; How can each paper that
passes through your hands be "the best
and cheapest periodical in the known
world!"
say it is to look round IAN editorial sanctum
inwardly chuckling at the forlorn appearance
it makes without feminine fingers to keep il
tidy: to see the looking glass veiled with
cobwebs; the dust on the desk thick enough
to write your name in; the wash-bowl aud
towel muatto color; the soap liquifed to a
jelly editors like soit-soapD; the table
covered with heterogeneous mass OF
manuscripts, and paper folders, and waters
and stamps, and blotting-paper, and en-
velopes, and talors' bills, and letters compli-
mentary, belligerent and pacific.
say it is to hear the editor complain, with
a frown, OF the heat and his headache; to con-
ceal smile you suggest the probabiIiyo of re-
lief if window should be opened; to see him
start at your superior profundty; to hear him
say, with groan, how much "proof" he has
to read, before he can leave for home; to take
off your gloves and help him coreect t;-to
hear him say, there is book for review
which he has not time to look over; to take
a folder and cut the leaves, and affix guide
boards for notice at all the fine passages
to see him kick over an innocent chair
because he cannot get hold of the right wore
for an editorial; to feel (while you help hin
to it very much like the mouse who gnawe
, the lion out Of a not and then TO take up hi