Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-05-11
(" Kalkelate to starve me p

"Kalkelate to starve me ?" #a
"No, SIR"
"Wall, why don't you fetch on some fresh
fodder, darn it
'There's the carte, sir"
Where's the cart? And what in thun-
der am l to do with the cart when I have
got it? Look out, you pesky sarpent, or
you III catch it.'
"The bill of fare"
"I don't pay my bill till I've had my
fodder"
The waiter humbly explained his mean
Ing
"What's all these crack jaw names mean?
give me something plain and hearty-bird
corn beef-and fetch it about the quickest,
while l look over the paper aud see what
else I'll hev."
The meat was brought in.
"Hold on =" was the next order. "What's
this here? M-a-c-c-a-read it, won't you
sir ?"
"Maccareni, sir'
"All right, cap'n. Hurry it up"
"You eternal Gus !" roared the down.
easter, "ef han't as great mind as ever
had to kerwhollop yer, and make an exam
pie of yer on the spot. What do yer mean
by ruuuing yer rigs on me, jest because Pm
a stranger in these parts? Take away yer
billed pipestems and fetch us some cabbage.
That's right. Aud now some vinegar"
"Viuegar's in the castor, sir, replied the
waiter, and made goodbis retreat.
''Iu the castor is it-hey? ?" soliloquized
the Yankee; and where in thunder is the
castor ?"
The gentleman opposite pushed it towards
him. He looked at it, and took the stopper
out of the vinegar, and taking up the castor
by the bottom, turned it up. But all the
cruets manifested desire to illustrate the
law of gravity, and leaped from their loca-
tiop, and the Yankee was compelled to set il
down again.
Jerusalem ?" he exclaimed "This here
is curious contrivance, and no mistake
How on earth am to get at the tarnal vine
gar? I'll try it once more.' Again he canted
the castor, but this time all the shoppers
tumbled out.
Thunderation!" be roared, "here's a
pretty mess. Darn it all, here I've got the
darn'd castor lie in my gravy, aud the red
lead on my cabbage, and the yaller on my
later. Darn the thing, say!''
"My friend" said the gentleman oppo-
site, with strong effort to control his risible
muscles, it appears to me that if I were
in want of vinegar, [ should take the cruet
out Of the stand, aud by that means should
avoid all trouble"
Here the whole company, walters sud
all, burst into convulsive fit of laughter.
The Yankee rose in great rage, upsetting
his chair, aud garing defiance on his
neighbor.
Chow in the name of all the 'tarnal cusses
IN CREATION he yelled, "should 1 know
anything about the way the darn'd thing
worked, when I've never seed any of 'em
afore? You've hitched this up agin mel
know it. Whar's the landlord? Fetch your
bill on-Ill get out of this l amt eat ten
cents worth, but I'll pay up like a book,
and cuss and quit. Aud if ever set out
to eat meals vittles in Bosting town agu,
you may take my hide and tan it. Darn
your castors, aud your vinegar, and your
lie, and you too, one and ALL"
Aud ]ingug down dollar on the table,
he seized his white bell-tep from the hands
of trembling waiter, and vamosed. Down
Washington aud State streets he streaked it
like comet, and never Stacked his pace
till he pulled up on board the Kennebec
"Cap'n," said he to the commander,
"cast off your ]ue just as quick as you've
mind to; and if ever you catch me want
ing to see Bosting agin, just take me by the
slack and throw me right into that ere
biler, boots and all-by gravyw
The ruling passion was recently exhibited