The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1853-07-07


ed some time since, but it will bear an oc.
casional repetition:
Story Of Humorist.
Well, | have seen your friend, and find
him to be exactly what you described him
as being-a humorst. He seems to have
impaired much of that character to every
thing around him. His servants are admi-
rably disciplined to second his whims, and
his very furniture is, for the most part
adapted to the same purpose. This put me
on my guard; and there was hardly any
thing in the room that did not touch with
apprehension. No trick, however, was
practised upon me; and, as | subsequently
found. was indebted for such indulgence
to one which was reserved for me at night
and one which was such as perhaps all my
English phlegm would not have enabled me
to bear with patience. escaped being put
to the proof by the merest accident-the ar
rival of poor Scotch surveyor, who was
thought filter subject for the often repeat
ed experiment.
The Scotchman was treated with extreme
hospitality; he was helped to excess; his
glass was never allowed to stand full or
empty one minute. The potations were
suspended not until and only while, the
cloth was laying for supper, during and after
which they were renewed with renovated
energy. Our entertainer was like the land
lord described by Addison; the liquor seemed
to have no more effect upon him than upon
any other vessel in the house. 1t was not
SO with the Scotch guest, who was, by this
time, much farther advanced upon the cruise
of intoxication than half seas over.
In this state he was conducted to his
chamber fine, lofty, Gothic apartment,
with a bedstead that seemed coeval with
the building. say seemed; for that was
by no means the case, it being in reality a
modern piece of structure. II was of dark
mahogany, with its four posts extending
completely to the ceiling of the chamber
The bed, however, was not more than two
feet from the floor, the better to enable the
party to get into it. The Scotchman, with
a good deal of assistance, was soon undress-
ed, and his body deposited in a place of re-
pose. All the party then retired, wishing
him a good night, and removing the candle
for fear of accidents.
When the door was closed, was for the
first time made acqna nted with the structure
of the bedstead, which our host considered
as his masterpiece. Upon the touch of a
spring outside the door, the bed was so act
ed upon by pulley, that it assembled slowly
and smoothly through the four posts, until
it came within two or three feet of the cell
ing. The snoring OF the Scotchman was
the signal for touching the spring, and he
was soon at the proper altitude.
nj M ina
how to act. In one moment the house was
in an uproar; cries OF Sire. fret Were heard
in different directions. A pile OF shavings
was set on fire opposite the window where
the poor Sawney slept. The landlords
voice was continually heard exclaiming
Good heavens. save the poor Scotch gentle
man, if possible: the flames have got in the
room just under him.
At this moment we heard him fall anC
below out. A sudden silence took place
every light was eXtinguished and the whole
house seemed buried in the most profound
repose. The Scotchman's voice could alone
be heard, roaring out in the high dialect o.
his country for assistance.
At length tworot the men servants ir
their shirts entered the room, with candle
just lit and yawnng, as if just aroused from
their fast sleep. They found him sprawhna
on the floor.
20, dear sir, what is the matter witt
your
'Matter' said he; why, isn't the house
OH fre!'
Not at all, sir.
what was the reason of the cries of fire
thenr
Bless you, sir, you must have beer
dreaming; why, there's not SO much as 1
mouse stirring, and his honor and the en-.
tire family have been asleep for these two
hours
The Scctchman now gave up all credit in
the testimony of his own senses.
Il must ha' been dreaming, indeed, and
ha' hurt myself by falling out of the bed.'
Hurt yourself, sir!-not much, hope: the
bed is SO low and by this time it had been
made to descend to its first level.
The poor Scot was confused: quite asham
ed at disturbing the family; begged thou
sand pardons, accompanied the servants t.
the door, closed the door, and was once
more left in the dark.
But the last act of pantomine was not
performed. The spring had been immedi
ately touched upon closing the door; anf
the bed was soon beyond the reach of oul
guest. We could hear him groping about
and uttering frequent CALCULATIONS of aston
ishment. He easily found the bed posts
but it was in vain he endeavored to get in
He moved his hands up and down. His leg
was often lifted by way of stepping in, but
always encountered the floor upon its de-
scent. He uttered eXcamations of surprise
not loud but deep, for fear of again disturb
ing the family. He concluded himself to be
in possession of some evil spirit.
In short, when twas found, by his silence
that he had given up the task as hopeless
and had disposed of himself on one of the
chairs, the bed was allowed to slide again
and i'll the morning Sawney could not but
express his astonishment at not being able
to find it in the dark.--Ertract Of a Letter
,criten in 1892
NOVEL AND GREAT INTENTIONAL cor.
respondent, says the Boston Bee, sends the
following account OF a safety car, the result
of his ingenuity, which is published for the
approval of the public:
..The spatS on which the passengers sit