Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-12-03
v A r I e T 7.

extricated.
RkB@ Mrs Smith says that the notice of
' stick no bills" seen on all fences, has refer
ence only to bank bills.
b6P The individual who 'sstole march has
been put in the same cell with Procrastination,
the thief of Time.
p1F The member who attempted to "catch
the speakers eye" with steel-trap, was made
to take the floor by the sergeant-at-arms.
p@. A grave digger who buried man by
the name of Button, sent the following bill to
the widow ''To making Button hole 81, ,0O.'
B@. spatch, on hearing, the other day, that
a lady in paroxysm of grief, had shed q tor
rent of tears, unfeelingly remarked that she
must have had a cataract in either eye.
A MAN down south advertises few choice
rattlesnakes for sale, and appends hint to such
as do not wish to purchase, that they must not
handle the goods.
Reh, In an old description of Albany; it is
said 'the place contains some two or three hun
dred houses and twenty five hundred inh abitants
all standing with their gable ends to the street -
u.s., Said one gentleman of honor to another,
'i you don't accept my challenge | shall put
you in the papers," Go ahead" said the other,
''I had rather fill dozen papers than one cof-
fin"
DE@ At fourth Of July celebration, in Mar
ion county, Illinois, young lady offered the
following toast: "The young men of America: !:
Their arms our support: Our arms theirrew
Fall in men-fall in
M" This is evidently an age of refinement.
The old adage, that 'syou should not count your
chickens before they are hatched," has been
thus rendered by professor of etiquette 1.-THE
producers of poultry should postpone the census
of their juvenile fowls, till the period of incu-
baton is fully accomplished.
BEA, A lawyer in the District of Columbia,
having wearied the court with long and dull
argument his colleague suggested to him the ex-
pedency of bringing it to a close. The lawyer
angrily replied, 81 will speak as long please,
SIR" "You have spoken longer than you please
already" retorted his companion.
m. A fortune-hunter, in a ballroom, heard
gentleman giving an account of the death of q
rich old widow. "Died yesterday in her eigh-
ty-ninth year." said the narrator.
'What pity! exclaimed the fortune-hunter,
"what fine match she would have made two
days ago."
REToRr UpoN JUDGE.-The fierce and bloo-
dy Jeffreys wishing to impair the credibility of
a witness in a case before him, said, in open
court, that she knew him." The assailed wit
ness answered, "that it would teach him to be
more careful ever after how he made acquaint-
ances.''
rea. gentleman out West, had an Irish lad
in his employ, and sent him out to grease the
wagon. The lad after having been gone a con-
siderable length of time, returned, when he was
asked by his employer if he ''greased the wag-
NJ" Yes'' said he, 81 creased it all over,
except those little sticks that the wheels run
on!'
BeA. A good joke is told of a young couple
riding home alter their marriage. The day had
been cloudy, and the young man seeing the
clouds break away said: 81 hope we shall soon
have little SUM-" The young wife replied We
ry honestly: .'As for me should rather have
a little daughter"
s1Gxs-To hear death watch, denotes that
there is a little insect near you. A ringing in
your ear is sign that you have taken little
cold. To have frightened dreams, is a sign that
you ate too much supper. To see an apparition,
or to be bewitched. is an incontestible evidence
that you are lacking common sense.
SPANKING" Jenny" said landlady the
other morning to her s'help," " was there any
fire in the kitchen last night, while you were
sitting up?"
"Yes, marm," said Jenny, there was spark
there when went down, and I soon famed it
into fame"
The landlady looked suspiciously at Jenny,
but she, innocent girl, went on scrubbing, and
humming Katy Darlint"
nm. A lady at Columbus, Ohio, recently in
quired of the spirit rappers how many children
she had The spirit replied 'four." The hus-
band, surprised at the accuracy of the reply,
also stepped in and inquired how many children
be had and was answered, ''tvo." Probably
that was the same mother who, on another DC
casion, got indignant at her children for fighting
over sop-pan, and cried out, I" Now you John,
and you Sarah Ann, if you don't just stop that,
I'll 60 right and tell both your fatters."
TRAGIC OCCURRENCE ON BOARD LIVER
POOL vEssEL-On the nth of May, while
the bark Countess Of Winton was on her
homeward voyage from Shanghai, Captain
Crangle. had disagreement with the chief
mate, William M'Fillen, in consequence of
the latter neglecting some portion Of his
duties. The captain ordered the mate TO-
the cabin, where he said he wished TO have
a private interview with him. A cutlass
lay upon the table. In short time angry
words and loud alterations were heard, and
the second mate, hearing soon afterwards
heavy groans, called the crew, and arn1ing
himself with log of wood, rushed up stairs.
To his horror, he saw the captain lying upon
the floor, and the mate stabbing him with a
cutIass. The captain was already dead
The mate made an effort 10 escape by run
ming up the rigging, but he was pursued,
captured, and chained down. Some short
time afterwards, when being conducted, un-
der guard, from one portion Of the vessel
10 another, he sprang into the sea: and though
a rope was trown TO him, and boat got OUT,
he deliberately avoided both aud perished.
u The Editor of western paper having
lent his axe to one of his subscribers, the
borrower unfortunately broke off the handle.
On returning it, the man said, you can get
it fixed. NJ.
"Yes,~ replied the editor, abut that win
cost at least quarter Of a dollar"
WeH,o replied the borrower, if you
aint rather small for an editor! here's the
quarter, but rll thank you 10 stop my paper
at oaesI "