davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

first, and the foremost in the date Of payment /;
and he valueth my smiles at the rate Of ready
money" But this ingenious theory has
general application. Why Is il that some per-
sons-we admit the universally Of the rule
feel better satisfied to owe the printer Who
will prepend The .kind-hearted Uncle Toby
pitied the printer, for that he must print, and
print, and try to satisfy all men, and trust to
luck for the pay. Yet it is observed that most
men who take paper almost always demand
that it shall reflect their own views, As IL the
aggregate mass of mind were a level plane. -
These, perhaps, delight to owe the printer be-
cause they know he is spending money without
any return. Another class deem it a pious
duty TO owe the printer, because it prevents
his getting rich too fast These are the per-
sons who by knowing the cost Of an advertise
ment, the sum of weekly receipt, or the
amount Of q circulation, know just how much
the printer is making from these data. By
some process not in the arithmetic, they can
estimate the cost of types, paper, ink, rent,
wear and tear Of presses, &c. But we are
stuck at the problem, and must give it up
We will, however, give the suggestion Of our
correspondent as to what ought to be done:
" Every voter should be able to pay for his
paper and not consider it a tax. If persons
would stop their tobacco, cigars or whiskey,
and have the ad valorum in circulation in some
reading matter, instead Of making the home
atmosphere rcndolent with the secondhand
stencil of the above articles, there would be no
cause for shedding tears, save by tobacco raisers
and whiskey makers, and on the other hand
those who would rejoice would be "a heap, =
not Uriah. y Republican Journal
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

visible above the water; and dashed through
the window, he drew ont in succession Mr.
Nathan Harris, Of Montgomery, Alabama. his
three children, and their nurse, together with
others, and put in with them for the shore !:
on landing, Mr.. Harris embraced him. and
eagerly pulling out his pqcket-book filled with
money, offered it to him, saying, seTake il thou
savior of my children Twish it was more );
| cannot otherwise express my heartfelt graft
tude.' " All right, sfr, said the noble-hearted
fellow g / don't want yosito insult me though
and seizing an axe, he pushed again for the
wreck, and with lusty blows and superhuman
exertions, soon made huge hole in the cars
side, and rescued as many as the boat would
hold, when he was forced to return reluctant
ly to the shore, with his freight of rescued
lives. Ah!" said he, ''ifthere had been a few
more boats and some one to manage mine,
could have got inside the car and have drawn
out great many that / saw rising to the sur
face, and sinking again to the bottom to die !:
it was awful to see their agonized features, all
wounded and bloody, as they struggled with
the energies of despair, for life, dear life %
Many of those who were striving for life when
he left with the boat-full, were silent in the
long sleep of death on his return.
[" All it made me feel good, y said he, +" when
| drew out the terrified little children from the
water in the car" There was only the upper
part of one side above the water. He was
afraid his strength would fail him before he
could finish his good work, but said he, I" my
muscles felt just like steal bars, as swung the
axe, and stove in the pannels." When all was
finished, and no more lives could be saved, he
felt that his duty was accomplished. The ma
ny horrors he had to witness and the man
gled and manned the agony of bereaved rel
atives and the terror stricken people, max
ing desperate efforts to render assistance, but
perfectly paralized through horror at the event,
made deep impression on him.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
Sflistellanp.
Too Good to be Lost.

At a short distance from the city of Boston,
there is now living a white-haired veteran, a
soldier of the Revolutionary war, who is nine
ty-nine years of age-one in whom the fire OF
patriotism still burns as brightly as it did OF
yore-and whose eye still sparkles with the
those days that tried mems souls Among
the names of those he delighted to honor, was
that of General jackson. That man he great
ly reverenced he admired the man for his he
rOism, and honOred him for devotion to his
country. About the time when Jackson was
elected to the Presidency, party of men be-
longing to the town in which he resided (they
were wings of course) made an ef1igy of Gen
eral Jackson, and TO crafty the malice OF
their hearts towards him, and the party by
whom he was elected, they hung the elligy on
public place called The Green A guard
Of eight men with loaded guns were stationed
near to protect the image and the men who
were thus endeavoring to dishonor the name OF
General Jackson.
The old soldier, at that time more than sew
enty years of age, was informed of what was
going on, and of the threats that were made to
shoot any man that should attempt to cut down
the image. Fired with Indignation at the in
jury offered to Jackson, he shouldered his axe
and went out notwithstanding the remonstran-
ces of his family who trembled for his safety
accompanied only by his youngest son who
would not let his father 90 alone in such dan
gerous expedition The frmness Of his step
the determination which his whole demean-
er expressed-his well known attachment to
his country and to its noble defenders, conspir-
ed to speak out his purpose, and the axe on his
shoulder needed no comment as he marched
boldly up to the mock gallows.
''Ialt ~ shouted the guard ''advance anoth-
er step and you are dead man ? and they lev
eled their weapons, pointing them directly at
the old veteran.
:" Fire, if you WILL" said he, z I'll cut it
down if die for H."
And dorm HaoenAnot only down but hewcd
up into fragments by the hand of the old sol
der. The guard were perfectly astonished--
they were awed by the boldness of that aged
man with his white hair streaming in the wind
as he bent to the task, and they could not harm
but they quailed before the fire Of his eye,
as he boldly marched off in triumph before
them-they had not expected an attack from
such quarter, and it took them by surprise.
They would as soon have looked for ghost
among them as for that venerable man whose
head was as white as snow. They said it was
nothing but his grey hairs that saved him from
personal yioIence-hc was an old soldier, and
they could not lay hands on him.
To such men under God are we indebted foI
liberty! Long may their noble deeds be i'm
itated by their sons, and themselves honored
by nation that reaps the benefit Of their Ia
bors.-SpdngfeM Post. "
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

for my passage. Is this enough ~ handing
him a bank note
:" Why, this here,'' said the captain, hook
ing at the note, sis five times as much as |
should have charged you, if nothing had hap
pened but if you say take it, / will thank
you kindly. And now, Mister, | should like
to know where you live, and what your trade
is, if it ant asking too much -
81 have been lawyer, and live here
abouts, ;" said the stranger.
Well, one thing more and | hope you
wont think me sassy; do tell me your name. y
:" Tompkins," was the reply.
"Where from!'
Westchester. -
No relation to Squire Caleb Tompkins,
up here!'
Only his brother, was the response
His brother Caleb Tompkins' broth
er, said the captain, aghast ''Why you
can't be Daniel Dl''
The very same, !" said the stranger, smil-
ing.
Phewn' here the captain gave an in
terjectional whistle. "Here's pretty busi-
ness BY all the pipers, you're the new gov
ernor =" IA
- So they tell me, (" said the governor
We'll, what an impudent fellow you will
think me Here I've been getting you to
physic my mate, and set You to working my
old sloop; and I've been ordering you about
just if I'd hired You at eight dollars a
month You'll never forgive me, | know,
for this, and all can do, is to ask your par
don 10
Nonsense ~ said the governor; "come
shake hands, for | must be off," and held out
his hand
g Well,' said he, GIVE always voted for
you whenever you have been up; and last
April, ], and five brothers, gave YOU plump
er for governor, and if any Of my kith or kin
ever votes for any one else, as long as YOU are
going to stand, call me flunkey, that's all y
There is no doubt that the skipper kept his
word, and voted ever after for The Farmers
Boy; and there are few who ever held such
close communion with Daniel d. Tompkins,
that ever bolted at an election when he was
candidate. #"l"
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
The Excitement Of Suspense.

Willis sometimes relates the following incl
dent There are circumstances in which the
simplest sound becomes awful. lonce watch
ed with dying friend, in solitary farm
house. It was clear still night in Decem-
Der, and there was not sound to be heard
beyond his Just audible breathing. 1t wanted
but quarter to one, and began to anticipate
the striking Of large clock which stood IN
the farthest corner of the room IN whlchl sat.
1t was at first, simply with reference to my
friends comfort, for he was in gentle doze,
and fearing it might wake him from the only
sleep he had got that night, sat looking at
the clock began to feel nervous interest
in its progress, as it advanced visibly, leaned
over and grasped closer and more firmly the
arm Of the huge chair. As it grew nearer,
a strange fear began to curdle my blood, and
| could feel my hair stand, as if each individ-
uai filament was whitening at the root Il
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
Why a Man Likes to Owe for his Paper

A congenial friend writes to us from San
Francisco, in which we find food for thought
and food for-the bowels The latter is in
the shape Of genuine coin of the republic
very yellow, aud having upon one side the
ef1igy of an eagle and on the other liberty
face and cap. It's arrival is opportme, for it
is so seldom we see the image Of the proud
bird of America that we could hardly tell it
from a gosh-hawk, and as for the liberty face,
we should hardly know it from medallion
head of Mrs. Partington. Indeed, we are ev-
cry day in danger of committing some awful
crime against the state, for which we could
not be held accountable, such stranger are
we to the emblems of the authority of the fed
eral government The thing in the letter
which forms food for thought is the following
paragraph -
"When get rich am going to offer prize
to the writer who shall explain philosophical
ly why man naturally feels satisfied if he
can avoid paying his newspapers bills.
cannot 'dream' Of the reason sin my philoso-
ply"
OF course, we do not intend to attempt an
elucidaton of the problem. We call to mind
however, an ingenious augmentation of the
philosophical Panurge, in Rabelais, which has
bearing upon the proposition. Pantagruel
becomes indignant at the scandalous and will
fuI impetuosity Of his companion ''But, ;"
quoth Pantagruel, :" when will you be out Of
debit ~ e AT the next ensuing term of the
Greek kalends, - answered Panurge, e when
all the world shall be content, and that it be
your fate to become your own heir. The Lord
forbid that | should be out of debt, as if, in
some leaven over night will hardly have paste
the next morning." Then the worthy young
man launches out in praise of the condition of
Indebtedness. He advises that one be still in
debtcd to somebody or other, that there may
always be somebody to pray for one, that one
may be blessed with a long and prosperous
life fearing that if providence should deal
GROSSLY he would never get paid. Then again
the creditor always speaks well of the debtor
in company, purchasing new creditors, to the
end that BY borrowing Of Peter, Paul will get
a part Of his pay. You can,n continues fa-
nurge I. hardly imagine how glad ! am when
every morning / perceive myself enylroned
and surrounded by brigades Of creditors.- -
And whilst remark, that, as | look fayorably
upon and give more cheerful countenance to
one than to another, the fellow thereupon
buildeth a conceit that he shall be despatched
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
The Treasure TroYe.

When Alexander Of Macedon was seeking
realms to conquer, he met with people who
lived in a very remote and obscure corner,
who had never heard Of wars or conQuerors,
and who enjoyed their cottages in profound
peace. They met the Macedonian king, and
conducted him to the dwelling of their ruler,
who received him Hospitality, and set before
him, as a feast, dates, figs, and other things
made of gold.
Z What do you cat gold here ~ asked Al
cxander
Z No but fimagine thou hadst food enough
in thine own country, and that it was desire
of gold that led the forth from it. Why, there
fore, hast thou come to us from so far a coun-
try!
{" 1t was not for gold came, but desire to
learn your customs!'' replied Alexander.
:" Even SO; then abide among US as long as
thou wilt"
While the ruler and the Grecian were CON
versing, two men of the tribe came in, to ap-
peal to the rulers judgment. The complain
ant spoke:
81 bought piece of ground from this man,
and when was digging it, | found a treasure.
The treasure is not mine, for purchased only
ground-I never included in the purchase any
hidden treasure but this man, who sold me
the land refuses TO receive the treasure from
me.
The defendant replied
g am rs conscientious as my nclghbor. L
sold him the ground, and every thing that
might be in it; therefore, the treasure is just
ly his, and cannot take it,
The ruler took time to understand the case
clearly, and then asked one Of the parties
9 Hast thou son -
g / have"
He enquired Of the other
g Hast thou daughter!'
"Yea.''
g So then, the son shall marry the daughter,
and the young couple shall have the treasure
as wedding portion"
Alexander betrayed some emotion.
:" Is not my judgment just inquired the
ruler.
e Perfectly just, but in surprises me-, re-
turned Alexander
I" How then would the case have been decld-
ed in thy country"
= TO own the TRUTH both the men would
have been taken into custody, and the treasure
seized for the king"
= For the king |" said the ruler In astonlsh-
ment 'sdoes the sun shine III that land \"
g Surely"
g Does the rain fall !'
= OF COURSE"
. Wonderful but are there gentle, grazing
animals there 2''
4 There are, and of many kinds"
& Then y said the ruler, Z it Is for the sake
of those innocent animals, that the all-merci-
full Creator permits the sun to shine, and the
rain to fall upon your land ye deserve it not. y
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
Circassia.

Circassian is mountainous, but very fine
and beautiful country bordering upon the Black
Sea at Its eastern extremity. 1t is also con-
tiguous to the Russian Territory lying towards
the extremity of the Euxne, and interposes its
lofty mountains and fertile valleys between the
clutch of Russia and those more level and less
wild countries towards the Euphrates and Ii
girls 1t is the aim of this ambitious power,
Russia, to become possessed, if it can, of all
the realms contiguous to the Black Sea, on all
sides On one side the Wolf has already
laid his paws on the Danubian provinces, on
Moldavia, Bulgaria, Wallachia, and is on this
side, therefore fast advancing 10 Constantine
ple But before it can enslave the tracts "
ing on the Southern coast of this sea, it must
subdue and pass the fine people who hold Cir
cassia-a race, in physical requisites the finest
specimen of men now to be found on the face
Of the globe, and Of courage, and activity un-
surpassable. Against these noble but unof-
Tending people the Muscovite serfs have now
for many years, been carrying on a cruel and
bloody war. No quarter is given; and the
amount of lives lost is not known excepting,
generally it is very great 1t is believed that,
taking battle, sickness, fatigue, altogether in
one account, not less than 200, ,000 Russian
serfs have left their bones among the wild pass
es and this without gaining any ground that
is tenable
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
Jedediah Sees the Twins.

After dlckerlng some time with the long
legged door keeper, Jedediah Homespun up
and spent quarter to see the Siamese Twins.
Looking at the curious pair for some time,
Jed busted
" How long you lellers been in that are
kind O. hitch ~
" Forty-two years" was Eng's reply.
"Du tell gettin', kind O used to it, cal
culate"
4 We ought 10 be- said they.
f" Yes, COW you ought. Yeou fellers be-
long to the same church spect you do -
z Yes, indeed, said Chang
{" Want 70 know Wall, swan yeou air
hitched queer" said led, minutely examining
the ligature.
One Of yeou fellers dies, tother feIler'll
be in pucker, recokn."
:" Would be bad, said Chang.
Don't drink nothin, guess-ever go in
to swim ~
Sometimes, " said they.
After gazing at them a few minutes, in 81
lence, Jed again JuSts-
81 Look here, 'spose one of yeou fellers got
into scrape, and was about to be put into
jail, how'd you manage that
"Oh ~ says, Eng, go Chang's bail.
4 Oh, yes, could do that, by hokey.''
And Jedediah, having exhausted his cross
examination, went off whistling, giving a
fresh lot of examiners room to put the twins
through course Of similar sprouts.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

FUMES OF CHARcoAL.-Thc deadly charac-
ter Of the gas escaping from charcoal fire is
well known An example Of this is shown in
the following from the Cincinnati Gazette
Persons cannot be too careful when burning
the above coal The Gazette says, that on
Sunday afternoon, while a young man on w al
nut street near Fifth st., was employed IN
kindling d charcoal fire, he was seen TO give u
sudden leap and then fall forward as II dead.
He was immediately picked sup by some men
who were passing at the time. Tie soon re-
covered, and when asked what was the matter
with him, he replied that his head and face
felt badly, and he supposed somebody had
knocked him down. While kindling the fire,
he had been inhaling the gas, which, notwith-
standing the fire was out Of doors, produced
this unusual and powerful effect.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
Noble Heroism.

Among the many intrepid persons, (says a
Norwalk correspondent of the New York Irl-
bune, who rendered noble services to the suf-
ferers in this dreadful catastrophe, we are COM
rol in particular This gentleman was about
leaving the wharf at Norwalk, to go on a
shooting excursion when this accident occurr-
ed. Immediately on seeing the cars 90 into
the draw, he sprang into the water, and swan
to the boat which he quickly unmoored, and
rowed to the nearest car, which was partially
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

Inspectors Of customs = said Mrs. Par
tington, encrgetically, as she laid down the
paper chronicling some new appointment
Here was new idea that broke upon her mind
like a ray Of sunshine through corn barn
Inspectors of customs 7 and she looked up
at the rigid profile of the old corporal, as if
she would ask what he had to say about it,
but that warrior had hung there toe long to BE-
now disturbed by trihc4, and he took no no
tice Of her. Inspectors of CUSTOMS con
tinued She, as She turned her attention to the
old black teapot and then turned out the tea,
which celestial beverage gurgled through the
spout in harmony with her reflections, not too
strong that's new idea to me But thank
Providence | haint got no customs that hadn't
as lieyes they'd inspect as not only I'd lit
tie rather they wouldn't. | wish every body
could say so, but I'm afeard there are many
customs that wont bear looking into. Well,
let every tub stand on its own bottom, | say
| wont cast no speciousness on nobody. But
! don't see what they wanted to appint any
more for and be to 50 much suspense, when
every place has 50 many in it that will inspect
customs for nothing. If they only make my
next door neighbor, now, Miss Juniper, an in
spector of fcustoms, they wouldn't need another
for long ways, that's morally sartin.' She
stirred her souchong as she ruminated, untast-
ing, and Ike helped himself, unheeded to the
last preserved pear there was in the dish
Post
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

A Coop CHARAcTER.-A good character is
to young man, what firm foundation is 10
the artist, who proposes TO erect building on
il he can build with safety, and all who be-
hold it will have confidence in its soldty-a
helping hand will never be wanted but let
single part Of this be defective, and you 60 at
hazard, amidst doubling and distrust, and ten
to one it will tumble down at last, and mingle
all that was built on it in ruin. Without
character, poverty is a curse; with it, it is
scarcely an evil Happiness cannot exist where
good character is not. All that is bright in
the hope Of yonth, all that is calm and blissful
in the sober scenes Of life, all that is soothing
in the vale Of tears, centers in, and is derived
from good character. Therefore acquire this
as the first and most valuable acquisition.
AWFUL BEAcoN.-A Mr.. Blindman, pilot
on flatboat on the Ohio, recently saw most
wonderful sight in the heavens. He was
watching eagerly the comit's tail when all az
once he saw the tail curl up, and form in big
letters The word
PAY
lie didn't pay much attention to it; but in
a few minutes he looked round again, and saw
distinctly in the same place, the word
THE
Astonished at this he ran below to inform
the Captain, and when he got back and looked
up at the tail, he found that it had increased
in size and brilliancy, and now formed the
the word
PRINTER!
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

a LITTLE MIFF.-Some editors say that the
destiny Of the world often hangs on triae.--
A little milf between Charles Bonaparte and
his love, Letitia, might have broken of a mar
riage which gave birth 70 Napoleon and the
battle of Waterloo. To which the Chicago
says -" Yes, this is fact Suppose little
milf had taken place between Adam and Eve
What then ~ FHiHrnT rc 7
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23
PRINTER I!

The MARRIAGE CEREMONY An anecdote is
related BY Mr., Hale, Of New Hampshire, in
one Of his Free Soil speeches, 10 this effect;
A couple cameto me one night, and wished
me TO join them in wedlock. ! consented to
perform the ceremony, and said to the man
I" Do you take -this woman to be your we'd
ded wifel"
Certainly" he replied.
!" Do you take this man to be your lawful
husband Z" an'
/" Yes, ! do"
/" Then you are man and wifs--that's all !"
Both looked at,me with great astonishment,
and the lady asked sg m
= rs that al !" adt h-1a4
Yes, that's all. = s+H an
"Well, she remarked, I" 'taint such amigh-
ty affair after all.' RHaa
Alman's wealth depends more on his wife
than his incomes Some women will cause
their husbands to become rich on five, hundred
a year others can scarcely keep out of Jail on
five thousand. Saving has made more fortunes
than getting one e
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

10 CURE WARTS OR CoRNs.-Take half an
ounce Of sulp phur, half an ounce of ninety per
cent. spirits, put into an ounce vial, shake them
well together, then freely apply 10 the affected
part, or wart, for few days once or twice a
the warts will disappear. And SO with corns
in like manner. Warts can also be cured by
washing them with solution Of soda, and al
lowing it 10 dry on them.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

To DRILL GLAss.-Glass can be easily and
neatly drilled with small drill, operated by a
bow, and kept moist by spirits of turpentine.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-23

lie didn't pay much attention to it; but in
few minutes he looked round again, and saw
distinctly in the same place, the word