The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1853-04-21


than he would of carving turkey.
"Take another po-p-po-potato, sir :"
said the suffering man, with desper-
ate effort to be polite.
"No, | thank you, sir; where we are
all inclined to be grGUe-one is a doSe," I"
said the stranger, pointing TO a huge
murphy on his plate.
"He must be the man, whispered a
passenger to the Yankee.
"No doubt of it." said the individual.
"One hundred dollars a sight, by
jingol after dinner I'll him.n
The dinner passed off without much
further interruption, no one alluding to
the stranger except the Yankee, who
whispered that I" he had seen that doc
tor someahere, but darned if he could
tell where, bu. his voice sounded natu-
raj as life"
After the more substantial viands had
been discussed, and the passengers
were picking over few nuts and raj
sins by way of dessert, jokes, witticisms,
and stories were told by one and an
other, but none equalled those of the
stranger; whenever he opened his
mouth the corruscation of wit and hu-
NOR that flowed therefrom "kept the
table in a roar;" even the brawny
lumberman and speculative Yankee
joined heartily in the laugh.
At length song was proposed; one
individual was asked, then another, and
another without avail; at length one
suggested that perhaps the doctor could
sing. On requesting that Individual,
he modestly answered that he sung a
little, and, on being pressed, promised
in a few moments, to comply: and,
calling one of the walters to him, he
whispered something in his ear.
The waiter disappeared, and in short
time returned, bringing the long green
bag of the stranger, which had excited
so much curiosity; at the sight of
which, the sturdy fellow who sat next
TO the stranger turned ghastly pale, the
fat man gasped for breath, while the
under-jaw of the Yankee dropped like
the swinging open of a barn-door.
"I will now," began the doctor, be-
ginning to unfasten the bag, :" / will in
troduce subject which,
AT these magic words, the brawny
fellow who sat next TO him sprang from
the table as though struck by lightning,
overturning water pitcher in his pro-
gress and deluging the lap of pas
senger with its contents; the Yankees
eyes stood out like a lobster's an
old lady tainted, and the visage of the
fat man changed from red to purple,
and from purple to a dingy lead color.
The stranger paused, while that sim
gular, and, the passengers thought,
now demoniac smile, wreathed his lip.
"Sir," said one Of the passengers,
"this can't be suffered -
Mop calculated the fat man, " this
is too gross an outrage upon our feel
angs."
He has it i-i-in the bib bag" said
the stammerer, land, as this gentle
man s-s-says, it is g-g-g-g -
GA guitar, sir" said the stranger,
throwing open the bag and displaying
the stringed instrument
The upsetter of the water pitcher
picked up the pieces, and with rather
sheepish air resumed his seat. The
old lady suddenly revived, the Yankee
gave sigh of disappointment, and the
fat mans face resumed its rubicund
hue, while the man with impeded
speech CALCULATED" Re-r-reallyn
Taking up the instrument, and run
ming over the strings with practised
hand, the stranger said
II will now introduce a subject
which may serve to amuse you," and
commenced an air, the first words of
which were-Pm really very unfor-
tunate man."
At the first stanza, look of surprise
and astonishment was depicted on the
faces of his auditory: at the second,
their faces expanded into broad grin !;
and, at the conclusion of the third. the
roar of laughter that followed shook the
very glasses on the table.
At the conclusion of the song, the
Yankee arose, and, with his counte-
nance distended into broad grin, ex-
claimed
0OutlOtACH, VIC VIC DSSli tdh0H ILL.,
That ere man is no doctor; he's either
Ossian E. Dodge or Old Scratch; for
there's lo other man but Dodge can
give that really like a thunder-clap
through milk-strainer."
To the eager looks of inquiry the
stranger replied that he was neither
Old Scratch nor doctor, although he
felt that he had done his share to
lengthen many mans life, if length
Of days was measured by breadth of
faces; consequently the long and short
of the matter was-he was no more or
less than Ossian E. Dodge.
This announcement was received by
a shout of uncomfortable laughter, for it
was given in the humorist's quaint and
droll manner. The passengers crowd
ed around him, shook hands, and apollo
gized, while Dodge kept up small
fire of jokes, regular feu de iioi, which
expanded the visages of all in convul
sive merriment. Dodge was obliged to
sing Niagara Falls and Thanksgiving
Dinner before they would adjourn.
The Yankee, il seems, had once
heard him sing at concert, and recog-
AZ = 81