The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1853-07-13
VARIETY.
NY-MODERN EXTRAvA
CANOE.

MATRlMONY- MODERN EXTRAvA !
CANOE.
A correspondent who has "long been in
search of a wife" complains sadly of the ex-
travarance of modern times, and says that he
has ,'.,nre than once been on the point of offer
ing his heqrt and hand, but has been deferred
by the prospect Of an exchange for worse, and
not for The better" This is old story, and
one that we have commented on again and
again. The complaint. moreover, is we'll found
ed, and the extravaganza which characterizes
the modern modes Of living in reputable society
has doubtless been the means Of making, not
only many old bachelors, but many old maids.
The fever is up just now, and every one seems
anxious to outstrip his neighbor. The prudent
and the timid look on, not only with caution, but
with apprehension. They are unwilling to take
the plunge, to submit themselves to the respons
ibihty. They become acquainted with the young
and the fair, are charmed with their society, and
would readily take them "for better or for
worse" bat they know the actual position OF
their pecuniary affairs, they are aware OF the
uncertainties of trade, and they listen with
surprise to the extravagant views that are ex-
pressed in relation to matrimonial establish
ments, according to the claims and pretensions
of large portion of the gentler sex OF the pres.
ent day.
tune on the part of those who aspire to become
their protectors for life. And in this doctrine,
too often, they are trained, as /, were, by their
parents. They are taught to dress extrava-
gantly, to speak extravagantly, and to boast
ex,ravaganily. In brief, the object seems to be,
10 elevate themselves, not only in pecuniary,
but a social point Of view, above ordinary
mortals; and 10 speak Of the rest of mankind
sneeringly and as inferior beings. In most cases
these pretenders having nothing in particular 70
boast Of, are empty, inflated and arrogant, and
merely assume to themselves positions to which
they are not entitled. The effect, however, Is
feelings, but upon those of their friends and
admirers. They seem anxious to marry an
establishment, rather than as a matter of heart,
feeling and reciprocity. And while they are
fitted to hutter and bask in the smiles OF pros
periiy, they are utterly disqualified for the
irowns of adversely. They may do well enough
as companions in the hour of sunshine, but not
so in the day of trial and Of storm We can
conceive of no more important matter than a
proper manner of beginning life, or starting out
in the world. The moment that an individual
enters into the condition of matrimony, and
thus becomes responsible for the maintenance
Of al least one ether, he should govern himself
accordingly, and with reference not only to the
present moment, but 10 future probabilities and
contingencies In order to do this, however
and TO live economically and within his means
he must be assisted by his better half; otherwise
penury will soon come into the household, ano
with it dscord and unhappness. The parties
should consider all the facts and chances be fore
hand. They should determine to live for them
selves rather than for the door world, with a
view to their continued and permanent happi
ness, rather than to the qualification and indul.
gence of silly and false pride.
Matrimony should not be considered as mere
condition OF bargain and sale. Higher and no
lier principles and purposes should be associated
with it. 1t is sometimes necessary that sacri
fees should be made; but these, when the sub
iect is rightly understood, are more than COM
pensated for by reciprocity of feeling, mutua
confidence and sympathy, and the interchange
Of affection. But the bride should not expec
all the sacrifices to be on one side. She may bt
called upon to yield something also something
in dress, in gay society, in many attentions ant
in frequent intercourse with the out door world
She may have been brought up indulgently ant
extrayagantly, and her contemplated husband
however devoted and generous, may not posses
the means 10 keep up this system TO the SAM
extent. She should see and realise this fact
and make up her mind and her conduct accord
ingly. Then the two will commence life, under
standing and relying upon each other, and con
SANITY anxious to promote their mutual for
tunes and happiness. Let another and OPPOSITE
course be pursued, and the conse quences canno
but be disastrous. Let the young wife, forget
full of the true position of her husband, vast
his substance, neglect her household, and appea
more ANXIOUS TO attract attention in the fashion
able promenades than to form the presdin
spirit of the domestic circle, and the dream Q
fidelity, truth, confidence, and cennubia bis
will soon vanish, never to return. Our CORES
pendent, however, who is evidently sincere
must not be too faint-hearted. The giddies
belle sometimes makes the most devoted wife
Women often talk wildly and extravaganty
without meaning much They either intend
frighten the timid, u to test their courage an
sincerity The first great rudy is TO touch tn
heart; that once accomplished, and all the res
will be comparatively easy.
A woman, who truly loves her husband, viii
seldom trihe with his prosperity, or disregar
his coansels. But, alas for the delzded victim
who marries model of extravaganza, spark
ling coquet,e, or giddy fashionable, and VIII
neither secures her respect nor affections. H
binds himself f,r life, to The careless, the indIt
ferent, the proud and unteeling, and thus make
his home, not constant resource and perpe va
retreat, but spot TO be Stunned and avoided
Msgivings, MISUNDERSTANDING, determinations
will take place daily and hourly, and the matr
monal cup, which was looked to as the sourc
Of unmingled bliss, will be realized as full o
bitterness and Disappointment. And yet, sit i
not good to be alone" Women, too, in the grea
majority Of cases, are yielding and tractable
and the vast multitude may be won by attention
kindness, confidence and truth. philadelphia
Eng