Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1853-11-04
An Incident of My Childhood.
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ent character but for aught | know, that might
have been he secret Of their attachment. The ell
der, whom. for distinctions sake. will call Paul.
was of thoughtful reserved turn of mind He was
gwen good deal to specuations about the moral
capacI'ies and inirmtes of his and that
of his race. and had deep inward enthusiasm for
what he conceived to be goodness and virtue: and
will do him the justice t0 say, he strove so far as
in him lay. act up to his convictions The Young
er--we will cal him Clement-wa Of Ii ghter tenn
per ner"us frank, and vivacious, he was far
more general fnvorite than his friend; but We when
men of experience spoke the subject, they said.
the one no doubt, the most lovable but the 9th
or the most trustworthy. Well-for do moi W sh
to make long story of it-Clement who had no Sc
crecies from his friend, had rnae him long ago the
conhdant OF a strO but unfortunate attachment of
his Unfortunate, say not but that the lady was
eminently worthy. but. alas, she was rich and he
but Ief-hunting barriSter. Clenient had chiv
alrOus of honor. and hal never shown sign or
uttered word of love. though he confessed he had
vague secret hope that the girl returned bis feeling
tie b ushed however. like a woman, when he made
this admission, and would fain have gainsaid it
presumption the moment after. He rather unwise-
ly, but most naturally, still visited at the house,
where the parents, suspecing othng. received him
cordially and length he ventured to introduce
Paul there in order that his friend might Judge
for himself of the perfection Of his mistress.
'It is not necessary 10 describe the daughter
suffice it to say Paul fOu I'd in her person and char
acter not only enough to justify Clements choice,
but to excite in his mind passion of strength
corresponding with the silent energy of his charac-
ter, He kept his secret. and heard Clement talk of
his love with the patience of friend. while secret
ly he had to contend with the Jealousy of a lover
But he did contend against it, and strove to master
himself; for apart from what honor and friendship
enJoned, he saw plainly that Eleanor favored the
uncxpreSsed. but with a womans keennrss half
guessed love Of Clement. He fnrbnre visit at the
house, in spite of the double welcome his relation
to Clement and his own social position-for Paul
was rich--had obtained for him there. Time pass
ed. and Paul was still at war with an unconuuered
weakness when Clement got an appointment in
India. {" Befor you 60" said Paul to him, YOU
will speak to Eleanora q
mo- said Clement, after painful deiberaton.
the chances nf my success are still doubtful: when
have proved them. and satisfy her parents,
will write
".You my lose her through your over-scrupulous.
ness'
81 may said Clement; but if she loves me- she
has read my heart, and trust her.
''Clement therefore. took his to India with
him. and Panl was left at home to fight with a gi
gantlc temp alton. need not go into the <ubtletes
it assumed bur for long time he was proof against
them. He would not sacrifice honor and friendship,
the strength of good Conscience and the prin ,pes
he revrred, to selfish passion and inrlination One
evening, however. he yielded to a weakness he had
several times overcome, and went to the house He
sad to himself he would how she bore Clements
absence. Eleanor received him with kindness >he
had never shown before. Her parents politely hop
ed whom he to leave, that they not to lose
his society as we as Clements. That night cast
the die love her. said Paul to himself; Glenn
ent does no more have the same right as he to
be happy Madam" added Mr. Ellison abruptly.
''you guess what followed. Paul, with his keen
ofrectude, his ambitious asp ratrons, yielded
and fell
My guardian paused My whole girls heart was
in his story forgot my humblej position and ex
claimed, eagerly, But did Eleanor love him ?'
Mr.. Ellison looked at quickly. and then half
smiled. The smile was re ief TO me, for it brought
back the usual expression which he had lost during
the telling of this story. g You shall hear, he re-
snmed. presently. " Paul having decided to act
fraudulent and unworthy part. used all his powers to
10 gain his object. Honor and seifrespect have
lost he said 'Iove and qualification must have
1t terrible period that followed The sui,
he urged with such untirng zeal seemed to
gain slow favor with eanor. Her parents were
already his supporters and with the irritating hopes
and fears of an ardent hut haffed lover, were mixed
The singing agones Of remorse and shame Glenn
ent's periodical letters long since unanswered were
now unread; 10 him, such as he now was, they were
not adiressed-tha sweet friendship buried along
with his youths integrity will not Iinger" said nv
guardian. hurriedly. Paul won the prize which he
had sought at such cost Z eanors consent was
gained, and the marrlage-day was appointed don't
think even then he so deceived himself as to think
he was happy. Moments of tumu!,uous emotions
but his bIes>edness had escaped him, Not only his
conscience told him Clement frauded but
Eleanor was deceived To hear her express at any
time indignant scorn of what base or mean was
4 moral torture so eXqnIse!y acute that only those
conceive it " ho have stopped to a like degrada-
ton. night or two before the day fixed for the
wedding, Paul went as usual 10 her house. Just he.
fore he took his leave, Eleanor left the room and re-
turned with a letter There glow on her cheek
as she gave il him. i have long determined, she
said, SO have mOmentnus from him who is
to be my husband: it will be better for you 10 know
this
g He took the letter. | see you guess the sequel
it was from Cement. 1t told the story of his long
silent love- tor he in position TO satisfy
his own scruples and tell it, With The fear upon his
mind that even now his treasure might escape him,
Paul cung 10 ii tenacousIy than ever; passion
smo,hered remorSe WELL he asked looking at her
almost ferceiy, does the secret go further:
"Very little further, Paul. said Eleanor, gravev.
Il loved Clemen, once, but thought he tried with
me; were il not now honorably too late-l love you
now
paul felt a sudden impulse to confess the who e
truth, but it transient. He had felt many such
an impulse before but had conquered IL; should he,
on the of possession, with that in his
ears, yield now -
But, Mr. Ellison cried. interrup,ing him, with
the of fact sagacity of child didn't it seem
strange TO Eleanor that Paul had told Clement nothing
about his engagement"
"Ah, Mahel." sighed my guardian. " no great sin
but has its lesser Long since, Paul had found
it necessary 10 tell Eleanor false story concerning
his present suspension of intercourse with Clement
think this absolute lie of Pau's touched my aunt
sensible any point in the history, for she broke
silence. 'And what she said, was The end Of
this wretched young mans history? Are you going
to tell not despise him .'
50 One moment longer" urged my guardian. " and
you shall pass your Judgment. Paul married Flea