The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1853-10-13

better Oh common sense, and men great
on calculations were taken down quite
to the knees. Like the boys cut fu-
ger, it's all very well 10 grin at when
the smart is over; and if the reader
does not find information and amuse-
rment in the story Of Gympsum's invest
nent, we have no faculty for discover
ing the humorous side of men and mat
teTs.
James Gympsum invented a patent
machine for breaking fax; he was a
hard-working machinist frugal and in
dustrious, and his wife just such chip
of the same block By dint of econo-
my, Gympsum, at so, and his wife at
as, found themselves blessed with a
quite considerable-siZed family. and
something laid up for the rainy day"
Gympsum was matter-of-fact, me-
thodical man, honest aud upright in his
commerce with men. and of course the
much less thereby calculated to be-
lieve in or understand other mems CHI
caneryS and cunning. Gympsum had
long cherished an idea of removing to
the West. buyiug up track of land
and founding homes for his offspring
a christian notion, truly; and when. one
day, there appeared on the outside of
Gubbin's wlndow-shHlter, al the post
office of McCrackensville, near which
"Yankee town" Gympsum lived,
large poster" setting forth, that on
sach day, at such a number, up stairs
Wall street, New York, a grand conSoIi-
dated land-sale would take place by
way of lottery, upon scheme by which
a man paying in 500 for a check or
number would be entitled to draw from
one TO one hundred acres of the fuest
land in the State of Illinois, he made
mp his mind 10 become a purchaser of
the Grand Consolidated Metropoli-
tan City and Land Company" having
State charter and vast grant of land, 10
be cut up into large and small farms.
sundry villages, lead mines, railroads.
rivers, and the great city Of Metropo-
lis!
1t would take more time and space
than we can afford in this article 10
give half of the great inducements
held forth TO small capitalists, by the
aforesaid Grand Consolidated Metro
politan City and Land Company. The
agent who passed through McCrack-
ensyille posted the bills, and was flu
emily communicative upon all questions
touching the Grand Consolidated Me-
tropolitan City and Land Company. He
knew all the members-lhey were the
first men of the country, of course,
and this scheme would afford the great
est chance ever known, to invest few
hundred dollars in a safe and elegant
arrangement.
The city of Metropolis was all laid
out-plans of lots, lanes, Streets plazas,
hotels, churches, jaiIs, eourt-houses, &c.
In fact, 10 hear the agent explain the
bills and eulogize the plans was quite
enough to fasclnate any small cash
capitalist It did have just that effect
upon Gympsum he returned home, lit
his pipe, and retiring 10 his workshop
sat down and had a good long smoke
over the brilliant scheme of the Grand
Consolidated Metropolitan City and
Land Company.
When Mrs Gympsum came out to
hunt mp the old man to come to dinner,
she found such cloud of smoke issuing
from the shop-door, that she was amazed.
She poked in her head, and just dis
cerning Gympsum enrapt in the huge
clouds of vapor, she calls out, in her
usually hearty strain
*Heigh.ho! Lor' sakes alive! why,
GyHpsum, what are you at-going to
turn yourself into bacon or smoked her
ring" M @
:. Martha, dear, my mind is made
ry, ~ spuc Evmnsnrn
1t is, eh ?" says Mrs. g.; "Well,
yonF stomach's empty, guess, so come
right aleng in, and drap yer pipe"
II yes, Martha, "icentinues Gympsum,
knocking the ashes from his pipe, upon
the palm of his great, broad, honest,
and hardy hand, SIN done with the |
patents, fax machines, and McCrack-
sensEille-my minds made up--of ! go
ito-mofrow, if God spares me, to take my
chance
coz fake your dinner yon noodle youw
soriss Mrs.. Gympsum; "why you talk
like q cracked pot-what's it all
jabont ~
aNew city-Metropolis--grand lot
sssry--for 500 | can get a ticket, and
draw ~ a
IS Nonssnse!n exclaimed Mrs G.
~" Nensensei no, Mrs. Gympsum,
new city lot,l and row of tall brick
houses, and Pm DANCED if amt of,
before the chances are all sold p
And sure enough, the next morning
Gympsum packed his valise, and put
ting $1,000 into his wallet, he left for
New York, His first essay was. 10 find
the Grand Consolidated Metropolitan :
City and Land Company, and he was
astonished to find that the first man,
second and Third Of whom he inquired .
regarding the gigantic company, knew
nothing at all of the earthly existence !