Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1853-11-02

Do LADIES LIKE FLATTERY ?-The South
ern Ladies' Companion answers the question
very sensibly in the following article:
1t is said that women love fattery. They
may love to be praised for good qualities
which they think belong to them but if they
do not think themselves entitled to the
praise given, or do not believe tina! he who
bestows it thinks so-when it becomes fiat
%tery--it will hardly be found acceptable
And as weak men resort so much to this
means of seeking favor with the fair, sensi-
BILE women receive such offerings with great
dis!rust, especially from one who is known
to be in the habit Of bestowing praise lavish
ly. Indeed, ladies would consult their in
terest and happiness generally, by discount
tenancing everything that wears the appear
ance Of aattery. II a man truly admires a
lady, he can find better. and-to sensible
ladies-more acceptable means of proving
his admiration, than by stereotyped adula-
ton and overweight eulogy, from which
true female sensibility must shrink.
A wise man has said that as the SANDER
er is the most poisonous of wild beasts, so the
f~atterer is the most dangerous Of tame ones.
But ifa lady be bitten oy any of the class Of
gross latterers that abound at this dav, she
is hardly entitled to commiseration. This
sor: Of serpent sounds his rattle before he
strikes, and when the alarms heard, though
it may charm the silly, the woman of good
sense will guard against the poisoned fang,
which she suspects to be concealed in the
grass. IF we wished to instance a specimen
ofdelicate fattery, we would quote the let.
ter Of Steele to his wife: You tell me you
want a little hattery from me. 1 assure
you | know of no one who deserves so much
commentator as yourself, and to whom say.
ing the best things would be so little like
fattery.
The thing speaks itself, considering yor
asa very haR4S9pR8vgaB 10 ~ shhrtt Mt aff' ye1
is extremity sincere and so could 90 through
all the vices which attend the good q~ualitie:
of other people, of which you are exempt
But, indeed, though you have every perfec
ton, you have an extravaganza fault, which
almost illustrates the good in you to me, anC
that is, that you do not love to dress, to APP
pear, to shine out etc. Here Steele no
only assumes that no good thing he coul,
say of his wife would be f1attcry-being al
merited-but he affects to blame her for thu
virtue of despisirg display.
But even the praising of a wife or hus
band, and especially before others, is attend
ed with danger; and especially does it sub
ject the parties to suspicion of attempting
by a fair outward show, to cover up a pri
vato state of affairs not the most pleasant
1t is encouraging for a wife to know tina
she has her husbands appreciation in he
endeavors to do her duty-and so vice versa
but for the parties to be ever ministering t
each others vanity, by fiattery or constar
praise, is a weakness, is in bad taste, and ca
do no good. Weak husbands frequent
praise the beauty and wit of their wives
their presence, to strangers-assuming Vi
tually that there is 80 little of those quaIitr
as not to De discerniblo to others, withou
being informed Of their existence. This,
a wife of good sense, whether merited or nc
is matter Of humiliation, rather than prid