The Port Gibson reveille. (Port Gibson, Miss.) 185?-1857, 1853-10-05
The Sick Bachelor.

Here / am, a doomed mau-booked for
fever, in this gloomy room. up four flights Of
stairs, nothing to look at but one table. two
chairs and cObwebs pulse racking like a To-
comotive; head throbbing as if it were hoop.
ed with iron; mouth as parched as Ishmael's
in the desert; not bell rope within reach
sun pouring in through those uAcurtained
windows, hot enough to singe off my eye
lashes; all my confidential letters lying loose
on the table; and | couldn't get up to them
if YOU held one Of Colts revolvers to my
head All my masculine friends 90 are pa
rading Broadway, | suppose, peeping under
the pretty girls bOnnets. or drinking sherry
cobblers." A sherry cobbler. Bacchus
what luxury. | belihye Satan suggested
the thought to me.
Heigho, | suppose the Doctor (whom
they have sent for) win come before long
some great pompous Ksculapius, with an
owl phiz, a gold-headed cane, an oracular
voice, and ealIOus heart and hands, who will
first manipulate my wrist, and then take the
latitude and longitufs of my tongue then,
he will punch ne in the ribs. and torment
me with more questions than there are in the
Assembly's catechism then he'll bother me
for writing materials, to scratch off hero
glyphic humbug prescription, ordering five
times as much medicine as | need; then, |
shall have to pay for il; then, ten to one, the
apOthesary's boy will put up poison, by mis-
take Caesar! how my head spins round
Hippodrome racing is nothing to it.
Hist there's the doctor. No. it is that
little unregenerated cub, my landlady's pet
boy, with a bran new drum, (as I'm a sinner)
upon which he is beating crucifying tattoo.
If | only had a boot jack to throw at him !!
No that won't do; the mother wOuldn't make
my Cruel. I'll bribe him with sixpence to
keep the peace. The little embryo Jew he
says he r0nt i0 Il Under a quarter Twit-
ted by little pinafore! l Tom Halliday
six feet in my stockings! shall 20 frantic.
Doctor is coming" Well. let him como :
I'm as savage as if I'D just dined off a cold
Missionary. III pretend to be asleep and let
old Pill box experiment
How gently lie .reads; how soft his hand
is hos cool and delicious his touch! How
tcndcrly he parts my hair over my thrObbing
temples. His magnetic touch thrills every
drop Of blood in my veins; it is marvellous
how soothing it is l feel as happy as a
humming bird in a lily cup. drowsy with
honey dew. Now, he's moved away. hear
him writing a prescription. I'll just take
peep and sec what he looks like. Caesar Ag-
gripinal if it isn't a Female Physician :
dainty as a Peri-and my Jeard three days
old! What bust Wonder how my hair
looks? What foot and ankle what shoul-
ders what a little round waist. Fever !
I've got ts0enty fevers. and the heart CON-
plant besides. What the mischief sent that
little witch here? She will either kill or
cure me. pretty quick.
Wonder if she has any more masculine
patients. Wonder if she lays that little
dimpled hand on their foreheads, as she did
on mine! Now she has done writing; I'll
shut my eyes and groan. and then, maybe, she
will pet me more bless her little soul
She says "poor fellow" as she holds my
wrist "his pulse is too quick" In the
name Of Cupid what does she erpect? She
snys, as she pats my forehead with her little
plump fingers. "'Sh-'sh keep COOL -
Lava and birthstone does she take me for an
icebergl
Oh, Cupid! of all your devices. feminine
doctring for bachelor is the ne plus ultra
of witcbcrah. If don't have prolonged
run Of fever" my nanic isn't Tom Halliday I.
She's gone and-I'm going too .-Fa't'iT
Fern.