davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

A FELLOW who had forged the signature Of
wealthy gentleman, and was arrested
therefor, urged in extenuation that his fin.
gers were So cold that he was unable to
write his own name.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

An Irish advertisement reads as follows:
Lost ON Saturday last but the loser does
not know where, All empty sack with a
cheese in it. On the sack the letters T. G..
are marked but so comply worn out as not
to be legible.'
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

he was one Of the best deacons in the wu'r".
lie wouldn't, in sober moment, utter an
oath, or anything like one, for his weight i'll
cider. At the close of rainy day, he was
milking in his barnyard; on one side ofwhich
was dirty slough, and on the other an old
ram, that in consideration of his usually qui-
ct disposition, was allowed to run with the
COWS. The deacon was pously hnmnling
" Old Hundred" and had Just finished the
line ending with exalted high," when the
ram obeying sudden impulse to be as-
grcssive, gave him blow from behind that
sent linn up short distance only to fall di-
recly into the slough, where the dirty water
was deep enough to give him thorough
immarsing. As he crawled out, and before
he rose from his hands and knees, he looked
over his shoulder at the ram, and vocilerated.
You ID old cuss but on looking around,
and seeing one of his neighbors at the bars
looking at him, he added in the same breath,
"if may be allowed the expression"
Benz. FRAKL1S's LETTER TO YOUNG
WoMAN.-The Boston Post gives five copies
of unpublished letters from DR.. Franklin,
which have recently been found in that city.
The following one seems to ave been ad-
dressed to lady with whom he was on in.
innate terms previous to his marriage, and
who was still single at that time:-
Philadelphia, October l6, l755,-Dear
Katy: Your favor of the Sth June came to
hand, but on the 23d September, just three
months after it was written. had two
weeks before written you long chat, and
sent it to the care of your brother Ward. |
hear you are nowin Boston, gay and lovely
as usual. Let me give you some fatherly
advice. Kill no more pigeons than you can
eat; be good girl, and don't forget your
catechsm; go constantly to meeting or to
church. till you get good husband; and
then stay at home and nurse the children
and live like Christian. Spend your spare
hours in sober whist, prayers or learning to
cipher.
You must practise addition to your hus
lands estate by industry and frugality-
substraction OF all unnecessary expenses
iMuhiplication-he will soqn make you mas
ter of. As to division, l say with brothe
Paul, &" Let there be no dirision among ye
but as your good sister Hubbard (my love II
her is we'll acquainted with the rule Of tro
hope you will become as expert in the rul
of three, and when have again the pleasure
Of seeing you, may find ,%ou, like my crap
vine, surrounded with :lasters of plump
juicy, blushing, pretty little rogues, just lik'
their mamma. Adieu, the bell rings, and
must go among the grave ones and talk pol
I ilcs. +"
"SAY, Caesar Augustus, why am you
legs like an organ grinders"
, "Don't know, MIR. Sugarloaf-wby ar
, dey?"
; :" Cos dey carries monkey all about
streets"
A brick grazed the head of Mr. sugar1oa
S just as he disappeared round the corner.
Go 1T WHILE YoU'RE YoUNG-Amand
Young was arrested for excessive turbulenc
in Brooklyn lately: fIer only excuse va
n that she was soon TO change her name, ant
: apprehensive that her husband might put
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

| TOLD You So?-Wife! WIFE Our
cows dcad-choked to death with turnip.
81 told you so. | always said she'd
choke herself with them turnips."
But it was pumpkin" -
"Wal, it's all the same. [ knowed all
along how it would be. Nobody but Mn
ny like you would feed COW on pumpkins
that wasn't chopt."
"'rhe pumpkins was chopt. And twant
the pumpkins neither, that choked her. IL
was the tray-and the end of it is sticking
out of her mouth now"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

An author of love story, in describing
his heroine. says -" Innocence dwells in
the rich clusters of her dark hair" A wag
suggests that fine tooth comb wodfd bring
it out.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

How TO Ctr an ktetA1NTiScE.-If he
is poor, lend him some money; If he is rich,
ask him to lend you some. Both means are
certain.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02
swEETBE THY DREAMS.

SWEET be thy dreams when bain,y sleep
licr soothing influence round thee throws!
What if my faded eyes should wcepi
-Thins vii! be folded to Ispass;
Some lovelier one viii hauntt!ly rest -
I care not what those dreams may be,
So they arc sweet, and thou art blessed
Bright be thy hopes why should one cloud
OF sorrow dim thy radiant eye?
Go mngle with the gay and proud,
And learn to smile, thoagh may sigh;
Go climb the luiticst steep of fame,
And wrcathc laurel round thy brow;
And when ,hou'st won Il glorious name,
Low at the shrine Of beauty bow.
Light be thy heart! why shouldst thou keep
Sadness within its secret cells
Let n", thy eye one tear drop weep,
Unless that tear Of rapture tells;
Go. shed on al thy br ghtcst beams;
would, but mus, not, BID thee stay.
Swcc, vision Of my sweetest dreams,
In dr,aml:kc beauty PASS away.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

THE Richmond Star tells of little boy
who insists that the reason his father calls
his mother /" honey" rs because sire has SO
much comb in her head.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

DEAN SWIFT says he never knew man
rise to eminence who lay in bed of a morn-
ing; and DR.. Franklin says he who rises
late, may trot all day but never overtake
his business"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02
95eleet Qoetra),
THE SEXToN'S SPADE.


ALL battered and worn is the scxton's spade,
And soon twill be thrown aside:
It hath lasted well; and many grave
Hath it shaped full deep and wide.
And many :, tie cou!d that old spade tell
Tales of the churchyard drc#r-
or the silrn, step. and the Go:riul knell,
Os,hc coffin, shroud, and bier.
1t could tell of children who died in spring,
When roses blooming around:
While the morning lark its carol would sing,
As it flew o'cr the burial ground
How it parted aside with its iron blade
The grass which SO lately grew;
And grave for the Young was carefully made
Meath the shade Of the broad-spread ycw
It could tell Of those in the bloom of youth,
Whose steps were 50 light and free; truth,
Whosc thoughts were pure, and whose hearts were
But who sleep silently!
How their graves were made in the summer time
When the flowers arounl were bright,
And wrr;;tlrs were made Of the cclan,ine,
And placed o'cr their bsows so white.
It could tell us Of manhood's slow decay;
And how in the hour of pride,
The spirit hath Lett its house of clay,
And all ,ha, WAS mortal died;
How the autumn leaves that strewcd the ground
Were quietly brushed away,
While sorrow;ng friends We're gathered round,
When the clay returned to clay!
1t could tel us Of weak and hoary age,
With its feeble step and slow,
Who gladly seized upon the guaGc-
The gauntlet Death did throw;
How graves were made when old winters brcat!
Had blown on the flowers so fair;
All seasons and ages belong to death
Youth, Manhood nor Age will he spare!
All battered and worn is the scxtons spade,
And soon 'twill be thrown aside;
1t hath lasted WELL and many grave
Hath it shaped full deep and wide;
And many tale could that old spade tell
Tales of the church-yard drear;
or the silent step and the dole(ull kncll- 4
OF the coffin, slroud, and bier!
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

UNCLE SANS FARM.-The United States
owns now, to be put in market, one billion,
three hundred and eighty.seyen millions, five
hundred and thirty-Iour thousand acres OF
land, which at 81 20 cents per acre, is worth
$l,734,4l7,25O.
This, then, is the prize of the Public Lands,
one billion, seven hundred and thirty-iour
millions, four hundred and seventeen thou
sand two hundred and fifty dollars! And
is not this prize indeed! What nation ever
had the like? Every question of the day,
of course sinks into insignifcence by the
overwhelming one of what shall be done
with such vast public domain.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

IMPORTANT FROM RUssIA.-The Boston
Traveller is indebted to a mercantile house
of that city for the following extract from
letter, Just received from ST. Petersburg, and
dated 2lst Of December:
"There is report that the Plague has
entered Russia; and is prevalent at Astrachan
and another place. The Emperor has or
dercd military Gordon of sixty or seventy
thousand men to prevent its advancing fur
ther into the interior of the country. Some
alarm is felt at ST. Petersburg, though in
former times, as in the reign Of Catharlnc, it
stopped at Moscow"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

TIE publisher OF a paper in Iowa gives as
an excuse for want of reading matter, that
one of the editors got whipped at a horse
race, and the other was on spree!
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

Go 1T WHILE You'RE YoUNG-Amanda
Young was arrested for excessive turbulence
in Brooklyn lately. fIer only excuse was
that she was soon TO change her name, and,
apprehensive that her husband might put a
curb on her inclinations, she availcd herself
of the last opportunity to ego it" while
Young.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02
THE FESTIVAL OF THE GODS.

OR, WIT, BEAUTY, REASON, AND RELIGION.
There was festival held years ago,
among the gods. 1t was then decided by
them that it would he wise to brstow a
prize upon the servant who should prove
himself to be of the most service to man
knd-wlo ministered most to their wants,
spiritual and temporal. Therefore they re.
solved to sit in grave counsel, and to sum-
mon those servants, one after another, into
their presence.
The first who presented himself was
named Wit. He wore upon his head and
all over his person, SO many sparkling
things he dazzlcd the eyes of the beholdcrs; ;
dimples lurkcd at the corners Of his mouth,
and his eyes danced in mirthf"l"""-
cam ,"...
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02
EDGEFIELD, S. G., FEBRUARY q 1853.

I the way sooner. Indeed, if we don't make
haste the morning may overtake us. Ha
the reason why neither of us could unlock
it is because | have the wrong bunch o
KEYS. iii soon obtain another"
She ran up stairs and presently they
heard her coming down, but she went slow
ly as if out of breath with the haste she
had made. I've found them" cried she at
distance. She was within three steps oi
the person placed at the entrance Of the
cellar when she made spring at the wretch,
who as little expected the dissolution Of the
world as such an attack. A single push
with her strength tumblcd him down the
stairs from top to bottom. In twinklng
she closed the trap.door, boiled it, and thus
had the whole company secured in the cell
lar. This was the work Of Il single mo-
ment. In the next she few across the
courtyard, and with candle set fire to a
detached pig.stye. The watchman in the
neiglboring village, perceiving the flames,
instantly gave the alarm. Ina few minutes
the inhabitants were out of their beds, aud
a crowd of farmers and their servants has.
tened to the mansion
The baroness waited for them at the gate
of the courtyard. "a few of you,' said
she, "wil be sufficient to put out this fire
or prevent it from spreading. But now
provide yourselves with arms, which you
will find in abundance in my husbrands
armory, post yourselves at the avenues Of
the cellar and suffer not one Of the murder.
ers and robbers Shut up in it to escape"
Her directions we obeyed, and not one of
them eScaned the punishment due bis crime
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1853-02-02

"SAY, Caesar Augustus, why am your
legs like an organ grinderl"
"Don't know, MIR. Sugarloaf-wby am
dey 3"
=" Cos dey carries a monkey all about de
streets"
A brick grazed the head of Mr.. Sugarloaf,
Just as he disappeared round the corner.
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-14
CHARTER OAK LIFE INSURANCE COM
PAW

HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT.
Capital 100000
Securely invested under the official appro-
val of the Comptroller OF Public Accounts of
this State
Office, corner Of Nam and dsYinn, street.
TNHIS Company will issue Policies on the
i Joint Stock principle. and upon the Mu-
tual plan, thus combining the benefits of both
systems at the option of the insured; and
make contracts upon any and all conditions APP
ertaining to, connected with life risks of
whatever name or nature.
Policies will be issued at the lowest rates of
premium that can be adopted and afford re-
quisite security to the insured and perpetuity
to the institution.
On the surrender of Life Policy, the hold
or will receive its equitable value in cash.
This Company continues to effect insurance
on the lives of persons going to California at
fair rates of premium; and a grant permits
for travelling. sea and foreign residence at
equitable rates.
Policies issued for the benefit of a married
woman, on the life of her husband. or any
other person, will insure to her separate use
independently of her husband and of the
claims of his creditors.
The Company is managed and controlled BY
Board of Directors, who are personally in
terested. az stockholders and policy holders
in its success ...ts
Pamphlets, containing rates Of premium
and information in relation to the plan of op-
erations, and all papers necessary to effect in
surance, may be obtained at the Office of the
Company, or of any one of the Agents
OFFICERS AND DIRECTORS.
ALFRED GILL. President.
JOHN H. BCNCE. Vice President
JAMES c. NALkLEY, Secretary.
DIRECTORS.
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-14
FLORAL CORDIAL.

For the relief and permanent cure of Gouor-
rh9a, elects, Structures, Seminal Losses,
Leuchoria, Graset, DC.
TNHE FLORAL CORDIAL has gained extern
Il sive character as a cure, both safe and
pleasant for the above namad very common
and destroying complaint. Persons who have
suffered long with disease and whose constitu-
tons have been impaired by continuous use
of powerful drugs, have been restored to
health and vigor, by the use of two
bottles of the preparation. Those afflicted
would not only save money, but great deal
of unnecessary suffering. by giving the Cor
dial a fair trial.
The cordial is pleasant to the taste and pleas
ant in its effects. In using it no restrictions
are necessary.
IWPrice, per bottle, only one dollar.
Sold by C. STOTT & CO., cor of eth street
and Penn. avenue; w. ELLIOTT. cor. of F
and 18th streets; PATTERSON 4 MARIN,
cor. 9Th and Penn. avenue. feb TT
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-14
R. 4 d I-M Il DE CLOTHING
And Gentlemer's Furnishing Goods.
OF FIRST QUALITY

-UF FIRST QUALIT1. =
WE would respectfully invite the attention
w of purchasers to our large and fashion
able assortment of READY-MADE CLOTH
ING and FURNISHING GOODS, which we
have just received for Spring and Summer
trade, feeling satisfied that We can offer no
Inducements in prices, styles, and qualities,
not to be met with in this city.
OUR CUSTOM DEPARTMENT. I
under the management of practical and ex-
perieneed cutters. of acknowledged ability
and taste, is now supplied with an extensive
assortment of new styles of CLOTHS CASSI-
MEREs, and fESTINGS, which we will make
to order at the shortest notice in superior
style of workmanship and finish, at very mod
crate prices, and guarantee entire satisfaction
IN all cases. WALL & STEPHENS.
Penn. avenue, between 9th and 10th
ap8 streets, next to Iron Hall
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-14
CARD FOR ladies

1ENRl WElRMAN'S celebrated Ladies'.
i Il Misses, and Children 9 FRENCH SHOES
are sold by the undersigned. On 18th street,
just above Corcoran & Riggs Banking House,
in his new building with the high marble
steps. where he will receive Ladies' orders
and keep constantly on hand very superior
assortment of Ladies', Misses and ChiIdren's
French Cater WALKING SHOES, White and
Black Satin CATERS. SLIPPERS. &c made
to order by H. Weirman, Of Philadelphia, of
the best French Cater materials and in the
latest Partisan styles. These Gaiters are en-
tirely different from what are commonly term
ed ''slop shop shoes" being all custom work,
of superior workmanship, and warranted to
give perfect satisfaction.
Ladies, therefore, who value beauty. COM
fort, and economy, will be gratificd in the op-
portun!ty to consult their, best interest ana
taste, in so essential part Of female dress
The ladies Of Washington, Georgetown.
Alexandria, and vicinity, are respectfully in
vited to call and judge for themselves
APP 26-5w C.. WIERMAN
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-14

either wide or narrow Stats, and plain or
fancy trimmings furnished to order. Painted
and other WINDOW SHADES put up in the
best style Hair, Cotton. and Shuck MA
TRESSES. Pew and other CUSHIONS to
orler. CORDS, TASSELS, SPLIT BLINDS,
&c, on hand LOUNGES made to order
All orders thankfully received and promptly
attended to-
" Old work repaired may lift
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-14

SKETCH OF PERT YOU'VE MAN.-There
IS a period in the life of young man
which may appropriately be termed the
age OF puppyism. 1t is at that period
when he is little more than bow, and
good deal less than man; when the
hand, stroked across the chin, detects a
sort of downy inequality, and visions of
BARRIERS and razors rise up constantly
before him: when the tailor suddenly
becomes person of vast importance and
when he begins to talk of the .smen of
our college" and of '.ladies of our ac-
qualntance. He wears very tight pant
aloons, and displays immense moral and
physical courage in venturing into the
wind with such slender supports as they
contain; a cravat of great proportions: a
knowing, half jocky half gentleman hat !:
fancy vest, gold chain, and a qrizzine-
glass make up the external qualifications
OF the pert young man. He sits with his
legs apart: and in addressing men old
enough to be his grandfather, twirls his
segar, and calls him "my dear fellow. "
His paternal parent he always calls "the
o ouo HCNC- tuiuhS vi Nun or
refers to him, except when he wants the
governor to come down handsome, y
VINO, he maintains, has no right to .sex-
pect man" to be unable to pay his bill
hard expenses. He walks the streets as
though he owned them,-salutes the
ladies with facinating smile, and takes
Oft his hat to them when he has passed
them, as though he did not wish the
courtesy to be observed: but, then he has
observed older men do this, aud he thinks
IT 'demnd gentlemanly" to do likewise.
His conversational powers are very linn
tied, never having fathomed anything
deeper than a brandy smash. or extended
his inquiries beyond the bill of fare OIL
his lavorite restaurant. In his manner to
ladies he is rather patronizing, and at the
same time, very humane: for, in the first
instance, he acts upon the conviction OF
the inferiority Of the sex, and. in the next
with consideration with regard to the
killing effects Of his own beauty and
many accomplishments. He cannot DOS.
sioly marry them all, and to show par
tally would be unfair. His head is the
only place where Nature acknowledges a
perfect vacuum.-N. O. Delta.
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-14
Letter from the Hon. Themes II. Be0fon.
WASHINGTON CRY. April y, 1879.


SIR: owe you many thanks for the oppor-
tunities / have had TO read the Merchants
Magazine, and have found ii in reality te be
Magazine, and that well repIenIshed. OF all
the useful mattor which the title would imply
and presented with fullness and elearness
which delights while it instructs. 1t is, in
fact, merchants magazine in the large ac-
ception of the term-merchants who go be
tween nations. whose Jorge operations bring
many departments of knowledge, and view
of the state of the world into daily requisiiion
But it is not the great merchant only, but the
one Of more modest, but. nevertheless, of most
useful opcrations-who will find this magazin
to abound with the information, the pursuit
of his business and the elevation Of tie mer.
camille character requires. Nor is its utility
at all confined TO merchants, but extends TO
the legislator and diplomatists, and to all who
are charged with managing the affairs of the
nation For myself, l have found il most use.
full to me in my senatorial labors, and have
been in the habit for InaDy years of carefully
consulting it, Very respectfully. sir. your
obedieDt servant. TIIoS II BENTON
FRILAAs HU:T, ESQ
Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-14
EVENING STAR.
A Tight Place.


While sitting at our desk the other day,
and laboring assiduously with our pen,
scissors and paste, TO make out reada-
BILE paper for our patrons, we were sud
denly frightened from our propriety, .
by the entrance of gentleman, ex-
claiming, "For Gods sake. help me to
see what's the matter! I've got some
dreadful things-scorpion or snake-in
the leg ofmy pantaloons. Qmck-quick
help me..''
whats the matter 2" asked we
"The matter :" he exclaimed; ooh,
help me! I've got something here, which
has just run up my leg Some Internal
scorpion or lizard, expect Oh, can t
let it go felt it move then. Oh, these
pants without straps! I'll never wear
another pair open at the bottom as long
as live. All! l felt it again.
''Feel what ?'' we inquired, standing at
the same time, at respectable distance
from the gentleman.
81 don't know what it is. was Just
passing that pile of rubbish there, in front
of your Office, and I felt it dart up my leg,
as quick as lightning, and he clenched
his fist more tightly. If it had been the
neck of an anaconda, we believe he would
have squeezed it to Jelly.
By this time two or three of the news
boys had come in; the clerks and packing
boys hearing the cutlery, stopped work
ing, and editors and all hands stood
around the sufferer with looks of mingled
sympathy and alarm.
''Bring chair, Fritz" said we, and
let the gentleman be seated"
"Oh, [ can't sit" said the gentleman :
| can't bend my leg If l do it will
bite or sting me no, can't sit.
=" Certainly you can sit, said we !;
keep your leg strait out, and we'll see
what it is you have got
Well, let me give it one more hard
squeeze-lll crush it to DEATH" said he,
and again he put the force of an iron vice
upon the thing. If it had any life left,
this last effort must have killed it. He
then cautiously seated himself, holding
out his leg as stiff and straight as poker.
A sharp knife was procured the pants
were cut open carefully, making hole
large enough to admit hand the gen.
tleman put on thick glove, and slowly
inserted his hand, but he discovered no.
thing. We We're all looking on in almost
breathless silence to see the monstrous
thlng-whatever it might be; each ready
to scamper out of harms way should it
be alive: when suddenly the gentleman
became, if possible, more agitated than
ever.
Mischief" he exclaimed, it's inside
my drawers. It's alive too. I feel it -
quick! quick give me the knife again -
Another inc 81 N was made-in went the
gentleman gloved hand once more, and
10 out came-his w1e's stocking!
How the stocking ever got there ce are
unable to say: but there it certainly was
and such laugh as followed, we haven't
heard for many day. Our friend, we
know, has told the joke himself, and must
pardon us for doing so. Though this is
all about stocking, we assure our read
ers it is no yarn.