Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1853-12-14
hit aua Gumor.


ports our local, was in town one day last
week, for Che purpose Of becoming one 10
fesb." and after procuring license they de
termined to delay their happiness no longer,
but to consummate their nup,ials instanter
A neighboring Justice was sent for, who
came Immediately. The happy compile stood
up, and the worthy Justice conscious VI the
Importance Of the duty he was about dis
charging, was just going to request them to
join hands, when tue attention of the groom
was arrested By the whistle OF the locomotive
Squire, squire, hold on-we'ys never seen
the ears yet" he calculated as he started out
OF the door towards the depot with bis blush
ing bride in bot chase leaving tho patient
Squire to amuse himself until their curiosity
should be gralifisd 10 short time they re-
turned, perfectly satisfied with the snorting
propeusities and noisy speed Of the Iron
Horse when the ceremonies proceeded -
Jghite Rirer STANDARD.
Ra,aThe following rich scene recently &C.
Cured in one Of our private schools:
'Ah, Pat, exclaimed The school mistress to
very thick beaded urchiu, into whose mud !
dy brain she was attempting to beat the al
phabet, I'm afraid you wont learn nything.
Now, what's that letter 2
Sure. don't know, ma'am, replied Pat.
i thought you'd recollect that
why, ma IAN y
Because it has got dot over the top OF it
Och, una am, but sure an thought ii was
afJ spec
We'll, now remenber--it ISL.
You, maam 2
No, no--not y, but L.
Not |, but you ma bows that :
Not y, but |, 6lockhead'
oh. yes, now III have it, ma am. You
mean to say that not but you are block
head,
'Foolp exclaimed the pc lasogue. almost
bursting with rage.
Raglan old maid, in down eastern vii
lage called 10 her inquisitivo way upon young
and beautiful lady, great lavorite in the
town, who Gas she had woimed out of
cody with whom she'had been tattling,) was
about to be married to worthy young gen.
tleman, living in the same place. She began
her questioning adrotly:
4 hear somebody is al Oin to BIO married.
Who do you guess It's, now 2
Il don't know, am sure.
Couldn't You guess now; don't you think
Of somebody that's going to be married
Il guess not
well now Susan, s'posin any body was
to ask if yon wasn't engaged, and was goin'
to be married fore long, what should | say
TO EN- p
Tel them, said Susan. that you don't
know anything about ii, ard that it is none
Of your business
The business Of pumping was over for
day--in that quarter at least.
ngnAn orator out west lately electrified
thus "Mr. President, the roaring of the
thunder was heard far and wide, reminding
those who heard it Of the gathering of the
hoofs Of so many wild horses galloping across
bridge over a creek where the little fish
were seen skipping from puddle to puddle
the lightning flashed aud flashed, and every
now and then the whole canopy of heaven
looked as though i. was lighted up with tai
low candles and then all sn.ifed out"
Esa-Boarder: What large chickens these
are
Landlady: Yes, chickens are larger now
a days than they used to be; ten years ago
we couldn't get them 50 large as these
Boarder, innoceptly No, | suppose not
they must have grown some in that time 7
(Landlady looks as though she thought she
had been misunderstood
Msy.The editor Of paper a. Medina, Or
leans County, Louisiana, thus announces bis
departure from single biessedness:
Extreme modessy aud difhdence forbid
the mention of our marriage on Thursday last
to Miss Kate Ryap, Of this village. Conse-
quently we shall let our friends fad it out BY
their Wits
Rey~Hallo 2 said Mr. Rathergreeu. il
Court Square, what's this !? pointing to the
telegraph wires, "a clothes line z
Yes replied friend. who was with him
here is where they hang the sheet lightning.
Mr. Rathergreen was struck, but he thought
it might be true.
Ey~'Dick, say, why don't you turn .ha
buffalo robe t'other side out The hair sid,
is the warmest.'
'poh Tom, don't you suppose the ANNA
himself didn't know how to wear his own hide
follow his style
nSg-'Ah, Mr. Simpkios. we have not clair
s,ough for our company said gay youul
wife to her frugul husband.
Plenty of chairs, ducky, but little to-
much company. K.
rsy~A wag thus eulogises bis musical at
tainments I'll know two tunes-the one i
sAuld Lang Syne," and the other isn't.
always sing the latter"
ra-The young lady who fell in love,
has jus. been pulled out by the daring youn
elbow who successfully struggled with To
world - ~ se a
HssrThe lady who had not .colfl whe
asked to sing. has gone to visit the one wh
never noticed what 't'other girl bad on
nSs-A feIldwwithout legs has been accuse
&C making stump speech. - "''7
sszg-Tbs boy who was kicked by night
mare, is recovering