Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1853-01-13
Fanny Fern on Matrinonv.

Shouldn't Ike 90 make bonfire of all
the " Hints TO Young Wives, Married
Woman's Friend, &c, aud throw in the
authors after lhem. have little neigh
Dor who believes all they tell aer Is gospel
truth, and lives up to it, The minute She
sees her husband coming up the street, She
makes for the door, as d she hadn't another
minute to- live, stands in The entry with her
teeth chatleFrug in her head, until he gets
all his coats and mufiers, and oyershoes,
and what do You call EN- Off then chase
around dixie a cat IN a fly after the boot
jack, warns his slippers and puts 'em on,
and dslocates her wis: carving a, The table
for fear 1t 81 ould tire him.
Poor lItle innocent fool She magines
that's the way to preserve his affections.
Preserve a hddlesl.ck The consequence is
he's sick of the sight of her snubs her
when she asks him question, aud after he's
eaten her good dinner takes himself off as
fast as possible, bearing in mind the old
proverb, that too much Of a good thing is
good for nothing.
Now the truth is Just this, and wish all
the women on earth had but one ear in COM
mon, so that | could pour this hlle BIT of
-ANIA4 AlAh IT. HNNA N1 lf'HL ac q AiAfi tett
quite so sure as if he knew certain, wheth-
er nothing on earth could ever disturb your
affection for him, he's your humble SER
want; but the very moment he finds, Tor
thinks he docs, he has possession Of every
inch of your heart, aud no neutral territory
he viii turn on his heel aud march of,
whistling Yankee Doodle
Now, 1t IL no use to take your pocket
handkerchief aud 60 sniveliug round tie
house with a punk nose and red eyes-not
bl Of al Hou have made the interesting
discovery that you were married TO make
sort of upper servant OF house-kceper. and
to keep all his strings and buttons and straps
on, and then keep him as distance, as
house-keeper should, items my sentl-
menis | have seen one or TWO men in my
life who could bear to be loved as woman
with soul knows how without being
spoiled by it, or converted into a tyrant
but they are rare birds, and should be
caught, stuffed, aud sent to Barnum. Now,
as the ministers say, III close with an in
tefesting incident that came under my OBJ
seryation.
Mr.. Fern came home one day when had
such 4 cruciiyimg headache that couldn't
tell whether | was married or single, and
threw an old coat into my lap to mend.
Well, tied wet bandage over my fore
head, aud set down to it he might as well
asked me to make him new one how
ever, lined the sleeves, mended all the
button holes, and sewed on new buttons
down the front and all over the'coat tail
when il finally occurred to me, q believe it
was suggestion of Satan,) that the pocket
might need mending, so | turned it inside
out, and what do you think found 4 lore
litter from his dresS-maker | dropped the
coat, dropped the work basket, | dropped
the buttons, dropped the baby (it was
FEMALE, aud thought it Just as well to put
her out of future misery,) and then hop
ped Into chair, in front OF the looking
glass, aud remarked to the young woman
saw lhefe,-" Fanny Fam. if-yOu-
are --tper-SHch-- founded
-.fool--dgain" -AND l wasn't
OHDe Branch.
lie is unfit Ia rule others "a hn cannot rule