Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-11-26

Varieties.

Varieties.
paP The husband of the celebrated {. Mother
Of Pearl !" must be the venerable Bede!
, par Why is retired clown like aatterer
Because he sycophantic (sick-of-antic.
E alDr There is no place like home, unless it,
: the home of the young lady you're g after
aI Wanted. by an attorney, clerk to en-
9 gross other peoples attention.
STRETCH" OF THE IMAGINAr1oS.-Dream
? ing you are being hanged.
pdr He is truly wise who can endure evi
and enjoy good.
BaF The strike of the lamplighters is a burn
: ing shame. because they refuse to throw Hgh1
on the subject.
: RBr The man who was struck with astonish-
ment saved himself from falling by catching hold
of link in the chain Of circumstances.
~ Since the new divorce bill went into
operation in Ohio, marriages are placed under
the head Of limited partnerships"
The MousrAcHE w Working men are abou,
to adopt the moustache. Consequently, all
idlers-in self-defence-must shave.
THREAT FOR THREAr.-Charles Fox told an
insolent knave he would kick him to the.
;. If you do was the reply, s'Tll tell your
father how you are squandering his money
~ The phrase republic of letters" was
hit upon to insinuate that, taking the whole lot
of authors together, they had not q sovereign
amongst them.
i, aE~ A New York carpenter has received
orders for a number of tables for spirit-rappers.
constructed in such manner as to admit of
machinery being placed inside the top.
H<ST The cultivation of fba Saptimapts apd
of the social virtues, is solely dependent upon
women. As the mother of man. she is then the
source Of all human power and dignity.
BHT Mrs. Partington says that nothing des-
pises her so much as to see people who profess
| to expect salvation, going to church without
| their purposes when recollection is to be taken.
| BH@ One of the best things to resist fatigue
is music Girls, who couldn't walk mile to
save their lives,'' will dance in company with
knock-kneed elarionet and superannuated fiddle
| from tea time till sunrise.
| NT@ In case trying to prove man drunk
| an Irish witness taking the stand, was asked by
| the judge if he thought the man the worse for
| the liquor, replied No, in faith, he thought
| him the better for it,
| BSF Whether objects give rise to terror or
not, depends good deal on their colour. Ghosts
would lose their frightfulness, if they could only
| be induced to dress in black dressrcoats instead
| of white.
| QUESTIONS FOR AsTRoNoMERs.-Doest the look
| ing at the moon through telescope constitute
an impertinent observation? Should the rising
| of the sun be regulated by the wishes of the
parent Have fixed stars fixed salaries?
| An ELIzABErHAs QuERY-Since the passing
| of the New Betting Act, it is unlawful for any
| one to take Bet. Supposing am in love with
an Elizabeth, may not 's take" her for good,
OF for better, or for worse?
pT A postmaster, while puzzling out a very
uncertain superscripton on an Irish letter, jo-
cosely remarked to an Intelligent of Erin,
who stood by, that the Irish brought hard set
| of names to this country. ''Ah! yes" replied
the Irishman, but they git divilish sight harder
ones after they arrive here"
~ "Tlis tenement to let, inquire next door,"
The place was in wretched state of dilapida-
ton. but Bannister inquired the rent, &c. These
particulars gained, he asked, "Do you let any
thing with it ~ .sNov' was the reply g why
do you ask th.t,'' Because if you tit alone,
it will tumble down."
p9r A dandy, not very remarkable for the
acuteness of his feelings or his wit, wishing to
banter a tesfy old gentleman, who had lately
garnished his mouth with complete set of false
teeth, fiipp.ntly inquired, ''Wen my good sir,
have often heard you complain Of your teeth,
pray when do yen expect to be again troubled
with the toothache?" s.When you have an
affection Of the heart or brain fever." was
the reply.
THE THIEf AND THE DuKE.-The great Duke
Of Maribourgh, passing the gate Of the Tower
after having inspected that fortress was accosted
by an inlooking fellow with, How do you do,
my lord duke | believe your grace and have
now been in every gaol in the kingdom?" al
believe friend" replied the duke, with surprise,
:" this is the only gsol ever visited !'' sVery
like, = replied the other; shut have been in all
the rest!'
The MORALS on GAxBLERs.-A loeker-on at
. gaming table, having observed one player very
grossly cheating another, took the "pigeen .
aside and said, g Good heavens!' have you not
observed how villanously that man has been
swered, sPrsy don't be under the least concern
shout that; intend to pick his pocket as soon
as he has done playing"
TIE EASIEST Yoxs.-The Rev Ephraim judi
son was quaint and original preacher. Re-
marking at one time upon the excuses made BY
the guests invited to the wedding feast, he OBJ
served that the one who hsd bought 1--WE yoke Of
oxen simply entreated to be excused, while the
man who had married . wife absolutely declared
that he could not come. ' Hence learn said
the preacher, that one woman can pull harder
than five yoke Of oxen-''
~ A humorous old man fell in With an
ignofznt and rsthT Impairment young minister,
who proceeded To inform the old gentleman in
very positive terms that he would never reach
heaven unless he was born again; and added,
= have experienced that change and now feel
no anxiety" And have you been born again .''
said his companion musingly. "Yes, / trust
have" "WsH," said the gentleman, eyeing
him atteutiyely, g I don't think it would hurt
you to be born once more"
TIE LAssEs.-There Is whole alphabet Of
love in her bright sparkling eyes; her marble
brow, swsn-ike neck, and round tapering limbs,
combine to make an exquisite subject for the
poeA painter, and sculptor; and then tha. mouth
Of ers!-when the winde II passion ars It rest,
how much it resembles half blown rose in .
mild morning IN June -asd when trans -shuped
70 smile, how very Efs to the bow Of the Ittfs
naughty sd Cupid! Ah who could ss~ su-
psct ~ hmg - aprtsfs for pork and beans
aMA - r.