The Woodville Republican, and Wilkinson advertiser. (Woodville, Miss.) 1853-18??, 1853-03-15
Breakfast Table Chat.

Big Stories--A company of great story
tellers being assembled one evening in the bar
room of tavern out West, some astonishing
narratives--real "whoppeE"-had been given
for sure facts. AT length when the imagina.
tions of the narrators of these tales began to
fail them, somebody called on quiet young
man, who sat gravely in corner, for his story.
"Ob, said he candidly, Ihav'nt anything to
say, might tell story, but nothing to com
pare with those just told" ~
However the company insisted, and the
young man began.
"The adventure [ am about to relate is some
thing singular, but it will not surprise you af-
ter what you have heard. was once skating
on very smooth and extensive piece of ice,
and having skates on my feet almost flew.
Indeed so great was my velocity that did
not see an air hole which lay in my way, but
dropped into it like bar of lead and my head
was shaved clean off my shoulders by the sharp
ice.n
This assertion made great laugh and some
one asked the young man how many times
his head would bear shaving off. f
"Here me out" he said gravely. "You re-
member said was going very swiftly and
that the day was very cold. My body then
with the acquired velocity, went under the ice
as fast as my head went over it. Coming to
another air hole, up popped my body and my
head frozed on to it in the exact position |
would have desired So you see, | had my
head cut off and on again without the least
exertion on my part"
Lucky" r -.
" But this is not the end of my adventure
| On nv returning home sat by the fire relating
my wonderful escape, when my neck beginning
to thaw, | undertook to blow my nose, and
threw my head chuek-behind the back log"
sand what then 7"
"Nothing," repeated the narrator, gravey,
feeling his neck, only my head, IbeHeve, hasn't
stuck quite as well since"
1t is needless to say that this was the last
big story told that night in the country tavern
COMFORT OF AN EDIoR.-If he did notfill
his sheet with news of importance, whether
there be any or not, it is condemned ior-not
being what it purports to be-a newspaper.
If he does not ill at least one column every
week with something TaagIlable, his foliois pro
nounced uninteresting. tfE
Ifapublic nuisance should exist, notice Of it
would offend and not to notice 1t would De
censured csf a.t t,5,,si
If he does not publish all marriages that
occur 4in the world for twenty miles round,
whether he hears of them or not" he is not fit
for an editor. ,,t
Hevery paper does not contain goodly
norton Of suicides, horrible murders, and mel
ancholy accidents, it is dull, and an unwel-
come visitor. fs
fhalf the gloomy transactions that occur
are recorded, it is sPurned as a vehicle only OF
calamities -
If his paper contains advertisements, the
general reader mumus; if it does not, the
business man win not patronize It
Ii he publish the laws Of the State old and
young maids grlmble; if he does not civilians
frown. y. -. e-A ~.
Ifhe steers an impartial course, he Is said to
be on the fence if he jumps of, ne Is sure TO
be besmeared.
ia dozen friends call on him while be is
correcting proof sheet, and one error escapes
detection, he is the greatest blunderhead IN
the world. avg
f9-aI wish to introduce a blu for the to-
tal destruction Of, worms said wood-peck-