Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-12-01
From the Southern Star.
BEN JONSINGS DESCRIPTION OF A
WALTZ

great large room. As big as a meeting
house, lighted up with smashin' big lamps
covered all over with glass hangings. The
Ladies as nice as little angels, their faces as
white as if they dipped them into flour
barrel, such red cheeks hahn. seen in all
Sleepy Hollow. Their arms all covered
with gold bands, chains, and shiny beads
such like you never did se-lbey look ed
''come kiss me all over" their eyes look ed
like diamonds; their waists drawn 10 the
size of pipe stem and made 10 look like
they were undergoin' regular cullin in
two operation by tyin' string tigh. round
'em, and their bosoms-Oh, Lordy ! all COW
cred up in aces and musins, they rose then
fell, then rose again, lke-Oh! don't
know wha, i. was like excep,in' the breath
in of snowy white goose, chucked in a
ligh, bag with its breas. just out!
After the gals and youngsters had walked
round for considerable spell The music
struck up-and sich music |, was big
horn and lille horn, big flute and lit
tie flute, big fiddle and li,lIe fiddle, and
such squeaking, squa!in' bellowin' groanin'
never heard before i. was like all the rats,
pigs, and frogs in Chrisendom had conclu-
ded TO sing together. They called it q Ger
man Poker, spose it was made BY some OF
them Cincinnati Germans in imitation Of the
squealin' at pork packery, and guess ii
was pretty good imitation.
So soon as the music struck up, such q
sight! The fellers just caught the gals
righ, around the waist with one hand and
pulled 'em smack up in kissin' order, with
the gals bosoms agin their bosoms, and the
gals chins reslin' on The felers' shoulders.
At this the gals begun to sorter jump and
csper, like they were agoin' TO push 'em a.
way bu, the telIer jus, caugh. hold Of the
other hand and held it off and begun to
Jump and caper too just like the gals.
| swan upon pack Of bibles you never
seed such sight! There was some two
dozen gals held Ugh! in the arms Of them
fellers-,hey rarein' and Jumping, and
| pushin' 'em back wards over the room as !
thought, uyin' to get away from them) and
the felless holdn' on 10 'em tighter and
tighter. the more the gals jumped and caper-
ed, and the tighter they squeezed the gals,
till al lssi / begun to think the thing was
carried too far for fun. ] was little green
in these matters and seein' the gals trying
harder to geha way, as thought, and feller's
holdn', tighter and tighter, it was very
natural should take the part Of the gals
So my lander kept raisin' higher and, till
thought my bier would burs, unless | let
out steam. bounced smack into the mid
die Of the room. "Thunder and tightening!
every body come here with shot guns, six
1o1
al the top Of my voice 'for will be sho.
if any dodbasted, long bearded, monkey
faced (eller shall impose on gals that ar way
where am - and was just agoln' to pitch
'em pfomiscuously, when my merchant
caugh, me by The arm, and said 'stop Ben
"JIl be cursed" says ], elf will see the
wimmin' folks imposed on! Look what
Them feIers are doin' and how hard the
gals are Iarein' and pilchin' to get away
from 'em Do you spose cen stand still
as mile post and see gals suffer so:-
Look says ], there is gal almost braken
down and ready to give up 10 that rango'
tang of (eller! Yonder is another, SO
faint her head has fallen on the bosom Of the
monster! 81 tell you was ashley, fell
like could jump into 'em like catamoun
into pig pen"
When looked into my merchants face
thought he would have busted. "Why,'
says he, ben that is nothing but red Wa
waltz they are danc;n' and them gals ain
tfyn' 10 get away from them lelleIs-,hey y
are only capern' to make the fellers hole
'em tighter, kase they like ii, The more
lhe gels csper the tighter they wish to bt
squeezed. As to layin' their heads or
! the ieIlers' that's common in this city
They eXpect to be married some OF these
days, and they wan, to be accustomed to i
so they on, be busbin' and turning pale
when The parson tells the groom 10 salute The
bride. There is nothing like beln' used te
such things.'
You may take me hst,' says to my
merchant, II was tuck in that" ! tell yol
though it is the first time ever seed tht
like before. | have seen the Indian hus
and the Congo dance, but tell you this rec
war waltz knocks the ha, crown out OF eve
t ry thing ever seed.
Arlur had got out of the way and every
thing commenced goin' on again, the mu
!, sic go. faster and faster-Oh, il was fast ant
furious as northwestern The gals raret
| again, the fellers hugged tighter, and th'
music makers pulled out a bIown'. Thel
/ the gals and feIers spun round like so ma
', ny tops run mad. The fellers leaned bacl
and The gals leaned to 'em the gals fin
ffocks sailed out and popped in the air lIk
sheets on cloze-line oi a windy day, ant
/ the iellers coat tails stood out so strait tha
G an egg would not have rolled off; their fa
= ces were as fixed and serious as sarmen,
c Around they wen,-it makes me dizzy Il.
'hlnk OF IT, Pop went The Goa! tails. c!asl