Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-12-24
Y A r I e T Y ,

= A-SoN5 oooS%5
R1BBoN1sM.-The "Perfection of Rib-bond
y ism-Wowan!
What wind would hungry sailor wish for a
e sea? wind that blows foul, and then chops
Why do reptiles multiply SO rapidly? Because
: there are so many odders amongst them
Neither accept an opinion, or except against
it, merely on the score of its novelty; all that il
= new is not true, and much that is old is false.
r An Irishman being told that stove woulc
save just half his usual fuel, replied, "Arrah
then two I'll have, and save it aN-my jewel.
e 'Do you see anything ridiculous in this wig?'
said brother Judge to Curran Nothing but
the head" he replied.
A wag recently appended to the last of mar,
i ket regulations in Cincinnati, "No whistline
near the sausage stalls"
The Hippodrome man who tried to balance the
North pole, got seriously cut by the axes of the
earth.
"Pa, amt I growing tall?" "Why, what's
your height, sunny?" "Seven feet, lacking a
yard ~ Pa tainted.
A Judge in Cincinnati is said to have so much
real estate on his hands, that nothing short OF
soap and water can relieve him.
When the Hippopotamus swallowed the lady's
lapdog, in the Jardin des Plantes, he instinc-
lively took dose of bark.
They punish people queerly in China For
robbing pedlar, a gentleman was lately put
into mortar, and fred against stone wall.
A CoN.-Why have pickpockets difficulty in
securing watches? Because they have to take
them off their guard.
Try TITO drive rats out of a house, let the
basement to an amateur trombone player. Sure
cure or no pay.
| As frost to the bud and blight to the blossom
such is self interest to friendship; for con-
fdence cannot dwell where selfshness is porter
at the gate.
The greatest "strike" we have heard of lately
came off in ten-pin alley, where man got
| twelve strike by splitting the first pin, and
knocking down the remaining pins and the boy.
In country newsroom in Yorkshire, the fol-
lowing notice is written over the chimney =
Gentlemen learning to spell, are requested to
use yesterdays paper
The mind is like trunk-if we'll packed it
holds almost everything: if ill-packed, next to
nothing. So true is it that "order is heavens
first law"
bachelor recently left his boarding place,
in which were number Of old maids, on account
Of the " miserable fair" set before him at the
table.
Bryant is said to be perfectly at home in
writing heroic verses, but for all this it must
be acknowledged that the author nliad was
Homer
Better be cold than affect to feel. In truth,
nothing is so cold as an assumed, noisy enthu-
siasm. Its best emblem is the northern blast of
winter, which freezes as it roars.-[ Claiming.
Many people are led by their vices, as there
or no,,1o oxr1,on 1oIL L,,kl klo. l..x
there are far greater number who follow both
without any leading at all.
A gentleman being asked by friend "what
was o'clock gravely replied: Little Of moth
ing" elbow so?" asked the inquirer "Why,"
said the wit ''it is not quite one; and that
which is less than one, must be little or nothmg!"
ssWill you take the life of Pierce or Scott this
morning, madame?" said a newsboy to our good
aunt Betsy. "No, my lad" she replied, 'sthey
may live to the end of their. days for me-pve
nothin' agin 'em.'' ..,...1'.,,l III.
A young fellow having been charged with get
ting drunk the night before, and wishing to
justify himself declared that he never was drunk.
nor never meant to be, for it always made him
feel so bad the next morning. ,..-
USEFUL, IF NOT ORNAMEN1AL.-A Yankee has
invented machine for extracting the lies from
quack advertisements. Some of them are never
seen after entering the machine, as only the truth
comes out. q . .....
The ...Vis-a-Vis" says gentleman Of that
Parish, while travelling through East Baton
Rouge, was dangerously wounded by falling on
the forks Of a road We found this item float
ing in in the clouds Of iadpersHy among yoes-
Desperate. 's.i ,5'' '..
Joe Smith lately went into chandler's shop,
and was served with pound of candles "Aren't |
they dear Z, he said. g They'll be dearer still"
says the shopkeeper, - il the Turks and Rus
slams 60 to war" "What!" says old Joe. "are
they going to fight by candlelight ?" ~
~ Cato, what do you suppose, is the reason
that the sun goes towards the south in the
winter" "Wel, I don't know, massa, unless
ne no stand de 'clemeney Of de norf, and so am
bliged to 60 to de souf, where he 'speriences
warmer longitude, " was the philosophical reply.
BAcHELoRs.-The Cleveland Herald address
'es this to old bachelors: eff our Maker
thought it wrong for Adam to live single when
there was not woman on earth, how criminally
guilty are old bachelors, with the world full Of
pretty girls!" ....-..55.. .-.st.e....,
q Gentility is neither in birth, wealth, manner.
aor tfashion--but in mind. A high sense Of
lonour- "A dissemination never to take mean
advantage OF another-an adherence to truth
lelicacy and politeness towards those with whom
70 have dealings are the essential characteris-,
les, Of gentleman. -
FRE:-There is is a cockney youth, who,
very time he wishes to get q glimpse Of his
weetheart, cries. 'sfrel" directly under her
1indo~ in the alarm Of the moment she plunges !
or head out Of the window, and inquiries.
where :" when he POLITICALLY slaps himself on t
he bosom, and exclaims, Ere, my Hangelina. 81
MODERATION. clergyman was rebuked by
brother Of the cloth, . short time since, for
eed in moderation. "Mhat do you call moder-
ion !" asked The other. "One cigar at time !
splied the offender. 8
An AcousA1IoS RsBurrED.-A person look l.
g over the catalogue Of professional gentlemen
the y bar, with his pencil wrote against the
anne Of one who was Of the busting order
Has been accused of possessing talents s
mother, seeing it, immediately wrote under liz
H has been tried and acquitted" Is