Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1853-09-10

derness of the youthful Benedicts 10 refresh
the withered heart of the disappointed
bachelor. The time for the interview so
long anticipated, arrived at last. In the
luxurious rooms OF the lonely uncle, Hen
ry and Charles, the two eluer nephews,
waited impatiently the arrival OF the
younger.
"lt is useless looking for Edward" said
Charles, at last. "We shan't see him be-
fore evening. His wife is now looking for
a needle to darn his stockings, and replace
The missing buttons upon his coat"
Yet, as he spoke, a cheerful step was
heard without, and the tardy brother en-
tered the room, breathing quickly, aud with
a smiling apology for his delay. The two
first exchanged meaning glances; but the
merciless uncle cut short their merriment,
by saving gravely:
"Henry, my boy, you are the oldest. 1t
is just that you should lead upon this occa-
sion. Tell US frankly, how do you enjoy
married life 2"
The young man paused for moment,
then, with comicaI grimace that ill-con-
ceaIpd his reluctance, he replied:
at is a bitter dose 10 swallow, confess.
Uncle, YOU are revenged."
There was slight movement, Of surprise,
for Mrs. Henry Spike was recognized as
| decidedly notable.
Il thought" said the uncle, drily, ''thai
! yours was pattern WIFE"
"Only too much so," returned the nPph-
ew. at is my belief that she was model
led upon the most approved patterns and
! made up to order. II ever there was
| machine for performing mechanically eve
ry outward virtue, ii is Mrs. Henry Spike.
She never loses her temper; indeed, ]
doubt if she has any 10 lose. She never be-.
trays any fuItpr of vanity or wounded
feeling. To the Calmness Of statue, she
adds an instructive perception OF decorum,
a rigid adherence TO rectitudp, which
leaves nothing 10 hope or lear, and very
little TO enjoy. Nothing can disturb her.
When our infant was dangerously i'll, she
moved about his cradle with the same un-
perturbed countrnance, and dropped his
last cordial, as we thought, into the cup
with an untremblug hand"
81 hardly see how you came 10 marry
her" remarked Edward, par puentteSe.
"She was pretty, and misiook her nat
uraI roses for bushes, and her silence for
delicate reserve. Twas much moved when
she once left me 10 tears | have since
learned she had the tooihache. ! can new
er find in her department anything 10 for
give, and ! am tired of praiSing W here cor
rectness seemed inevitable. Besides, she
don't care for praise. She was wound up
at birth, aud her heart pulsales with the
regularity Of pendulum. II | should hang
myself some morning ot pure ennui, know
she would arrange everything fora respect
able burial. My condition is desperate. -
In passing through New York last winter,
| religiously avoided seeing Lola Montez,
for knew ! should be smitten at a glance.
The slightest touch OF human irailly seems
absolutel ly refreshing. Speak, brother" he
added, after brief pause" and in mercy
point out some defect in Mrs. Charley
Spike"
"NLs Charley Spike," responded the
person addressed, sis not absolutely stupid,
nor entirely Indifferent in matters of feel
ing. She gives some variety 10 life in
point of temper, and permits me to hope
TO please, as well as fear TO offend. But
like your R-cina, she has, alas! one para
mount idea. Order is Heavens first law,
and it is not the less that OF my Immaculate
Vesa. Especially does she insist upon the
most spotleSs neatneSs, at the expense OF all
other considerations. l discovered soon
after my marriage that the world was a
little too good 10 live in. The parlors were
shut up to exclude the flies the chambers,
to avoid the dust. The dining-room furni-
ture was robed in Holland covers, aud ugly
mats deiormed every square yard OF car
peting. Canaries Were bani he'd because
they filtered their cage, and my PET span
: iel dismissed for neglecting 10 wipe his
feet. Then pickles spoil the cutlery, and
eggs corrode the silver; coffee is liable to
stain the linen, and even butter, if intau-
tousy used, may be the parent of "a grease
spot. Cigars / have long since abjurrd,
because spltoons are an abominaton. III
sit, il is, 'Mr. Spike, your chair mars the
WALL or Charles, you are rocking upon
the rug If | walk, it is, pray leave your
boots at the door, Mr.. Spike, and let me
bring your slippers ! sometimes think
will remove to hotel, and send home my
compliments daily in a pprfumed note.
shall expect soon after to see the whole
establishment modelled in wax, and repo,
] sing under glass, like a collection Of fanci-
5 iul wonders Come, Edward, your wife i.
> no paragon, luckily. Confess your misery
r and don't detain US long"
"Mne is not a pattern wife, certainly ,
n was the Response OF the younger brother
u "She is not distinguished for order, mol
lau,ness in neatness, nor unerTing in dis
t cretlon. She is very far from being
d piece of clock-work, and there is grea
b uncertainty, sometimes delightful, some
u times painful, as TO what she will attempt
'i and whether the result will be success o
It failure. There is room for doubt as to par
', ticulars; none at all as to the general ten
y dency Of her conduct. She is as true-heart
&c woman as lives, 'and that which sh
J. delights in must be happy You ma
m smile if you choose, but do mosf frankl
f assure you tha, am happy, know M
e what BEATRICE is doing at this moment, b.
p feel sure that, in aims and efforts, she
n true TO herself 10 me, and her maker.
ID am sure that she loves me more thar a
ID the world beside, but not so much as ST
if loves truth and duty and selfrespect II,