, 1853-01-08

PAPERS OF THE DAY.-Therc is a paper
in Boston called " To-Day" Another has
been commenced, called To-Morrow."-
The ebay After Tomorrow is expected
to appear shortly, and some anti-progrcss
people are medilating one to be called
Yesterday"
A resident Of Western town, complain
ing that he could not sleep one night, sum.
med up the causes; f" A wailing babe of
seventeen days-dog bowling under the
window--cat fight in the alley-a coloIed
serenadc at the shanty over the way--a
IOOh-ache--ond pig trying the back door. +"
"Ifyou can't keep awake, ;" said preach
er 10 one of his hearers, "when you feel
drowsy, why don't you take a pinch of
snuff"
The shrewd reply was, "The snuff
should be in the sermon"
Machinery has reached a great state of
perfection We saw some burnt peas put
into hopper Of a coffee mill the other day,
and in less Than two minutes it was oecu-
pyiug a place in grocery window, labelled,
" Old Government Java"
The question why printers do not sue
coed in business as well as brewers, was
thus answered: Because printers work for
the head, and brewers for tue stomach, and
where twenty men have slomnchs, but one
has head"
It is easy in the world to live after the
worlds opinion it is easy in solitude 10
live after our own but the great man is he
who IN the midst of the crowd keeps with
perfect correctness the independence Of
solitude.
Contentmeut abides with truth. You
will generally suffer for wishing 10 appear
other than what you arc whether it be
richer, or greater, or more learned. The
mask soon becomes an instrument OF torture.
A young fellow offered 10 bet the teach
CT of young ladies' garmmer school, who
was boasting Of the proficiency Of his pupils,
/ that moi one Of them would "deeline" q
husband. lie is a saucy rascal, however
"Tom," said man to his friend the
othor day, " think il highly dangerous to
keep slugs on hand nowadays" "Tim,"
said the other, " find it more difficult than
dangerous" ...
Mrs. Partingion, upon reading in the Post
that the Boston Light Guards appeared in
undress uniform, said: Well, il soldiers
will go naked, Pm glad they don't train in
The day-time-l am %
A chap out west who had been severely
afflicted by palpitation of the heart, says
he found instant relief by the application Of
another pslpitaling heart. Anolher triumph
in homeopathy. +" Like cures like"
A German writer Observes in late vol
ume on the social condition Of Great Britain,
that there is such scarcity Of thieves in
England, that they have offered reward
for their discovery.
Mr.. Emerson, in one Of his lectures, OBJ.
served that in New England a man might
one day be tavern keeper and the next a
Judge. "A very natural transition" whis-
perod a wag, " from the bar 10 the bench"
EARLY one very cold morning, travelling
profile cutter called at the house Of wag,
and inquired" 3" if he wanted profile tax
en- ?" eyes" was the reply, | want
yours taken from my door" .,.
Awestern editor speaks Of the cireum-
stance Of a bird building its nest upon. a
ledge over tho door Of doctors Office, as
an attempt to rear It's young in the very
jaws Of death.
The tides run amazingly high, just al
present As Mrs. Partinglon might say,
the sun and moon acting in congregation,
is the cause Of the freenOmener.
If the "pen is mighiier Than the sword, y
as is acknowledged BY the poets, wanted 70
know If the scissors arc no, more powerful
than the Pen--on cutting remarks