The weekly Placer herald., 1853-03-12
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VARIETIES.

J
pondent, is almost to apt to be true:
The municipal authorities of the
city of Agen had made preparations
for receiving M. Bonaparte, which
were in keeping with their enthusi-
asm and their salary. Among other
temporary structures with which they
had decorated their city, was splen-
did triumphal arch, under which His
Imperial Highness' was to make his
entrance. At the top of the arch was
the inscription, He well deserves it,
and right under, hanging to a rope,
was an imperial crown. Things
stood thus, when the wind began to
blow somewhat violently; meanwhile
nj. Bonaparte was approaching, but
just before his arrival the wind blew
away the hanging crown, and when
the prince passed under the arch,
there only remained big rope just
above his head, with the inscription
he well deserves it
At colored ball given in Orange
street, the other evening, the follow
ing notice was pasted on the door
post:
"Tickets, fifty cents. No gemman
admitted, unless he comes himself"
Mrs. Chisholm says the best time
to choose a wife is early in the morn
ing. If a young lady is at all in
clined to sulks and slatterliness, it is
just before breakfast. AS a general
thing, a woman don't get son her
temper" till after 10, A. III.
One of the LATEST men in this
country resides in Iowa. AS a sam
pie of his inertia, we would mention,
that the only reason he don't get
married is, because he is too lazy to
"stand up" Whenever he feels like
gaping, he employs a little boy to
pull his mouth open.
There is so much bowling and
scraping when a couple of acquaint-
ances meet in France, that old Mar
rim says that all conversations in
Paris opens with three pigeonwlngs
and a ballet performance.
QUESTION FOR ExERctsE.-lf
chopping a cord of wood costs six
shillings, what would pork chop
come to-
If a pint of brandy will make
your nose little "reddish," how
much would it take to convert it into
a double-breastcd caullitlowerl
If a police officer is after you, the
best thing you can do is to lock the
door, and then bolt yourself.
BY late accounts from Peru, we
learn that another "Spanish revolu-
ton" is about to take place at Lima
In consequence of this, powder crack
ers have advanced a cent pack,
while Roman candles are quoted as
more buoyant than at any time dur
ing the last five years,
A man that has nothing to do,
generally does wrong. If you would
keep out of deviltry, therefore, have
as little to do with idleness as posi-
BILE. Give a boy holyday, and in
less then an hour brindle dog will
have him by the corduroys for rob-
bing an apple orchard.
Why are the boxes of a theatre
like the mourners at a funeral? Be-
cause they are always in "tiers."
The youth that perpetrated the
above, few months afterwards,
made an attack on his life with an
India-rubber chisel.
Time is a great antidote for grief
In less than a month after Muggles
said his heart was so "broken" for
the loss of his wife, that he could
never look up again, he was reading
Don Juan to a ballet dancer with a
balloon skilt.
God has made no one ABSOLUTE
The rich depend on the poor, as we'll
as the poor on the rich. The world
is but mere magnificent building:
all the stones are oraduallv canoant