The Belmont chronicle, and farmers, mechanics and manufacturers advocate. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1848-1855, 1853-05-13
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FAspIoNApbE BoARn1xG Scuoo1 LETTER. -
Deer Kussin the are whar we is air ko}d an |
suppose whar you is it ar koldcr we is all well
and muther has gott the his Tuiricks and
brother Tom has gott the IIupping Kolf and
cister Susn has got baby an hoap these
fu lines will tynde you in the saim kondishun
rite afpheckshunnOte Kussin B.
p. S. have jst graduated an will be hoam
next Tuzeda and then fur the harts oi the
boze. d.
An INrEREScE.--A servant, VIM had lived
many years with a Clergyman, his master
took occasion TO say-"John, you have been
a long time in my service; dare say youwill
be able to preach a sermon as well as ~
"Oh, no Sir" said John, "but many IN infer
ence have drawn from yours" "Well,"
said the Clergyman, 81 will give you a text
out of Job--lct me hear what you infer from
it-Aud the asses snuiltd up the east wind. "
"Well," replied John, "thc only inference
can draw from this is, that it would be long
time before they would grow fat on it,"
Goop-A barber recently seemed to be
yerv dcsrous of the patronage of his friends,
as he went around TO solicit their business.
One of them noticed the fact, and inquired
the reason for it, when the barbar replied:
"Is i,at all strange that | should like to
scrape acquaintances"
FRENCH AYEcDoTE.--A clergym1u having
exhortcd poor wretch that was going to be
n,1 In
tron Saint, now that he was about to appear
in few moments before his God: ain that
case" replied the criminal, II bad better be
the bearer of the recommendation myself"
"Oh Doctor" said an elderly lady recently
10 DR.. II, the celebrated bone setter, in
describing the effects of diseased spine, 81
can neither ldpnor set." "In that cuse," re-
piled he, ~ should recommend the propriety
Of rooSting."
AN eccentric parson in the Old Dominion
known by the euphonious title Of Servant
Jones, once dincd with Mr.. Owl, an opulent
planter. Mr. Owl placed before his guest
the mortal remains Of fowl whose bones for
med the debris of former rcpast. The par
son was called upon to ask n blessing, whicl
he did in the following manner:
"Lord of love, look from above, and bless
the Owl, that ate the fowl, and left the bones
for Servant Jones'"
A coLoRED servant to one of our able di
vines was one Sunday observed by his smaste
to be very busy writing during the discourse
After service the clergyman asked Peter
"What was you doing with your paper an
pencil all the forenoon, Peter!" "Takin
notes, massa." "Lct me see them" "It
ya-yas, mussa," said Peter, RS he passed owe
the paper. The man of God gazad at it 70
n short time, and xclaimcd-"Ps Pshaw, Peter
that's all non ense"--"GolIy," Responded
Peter, "dat's Jest what fought all dc time
you was preaching.-BO,ioR lee.
ALL philosophers tell us to rise early bu
poor Tom Hood used to say, iocosely, the maj
aho is fond prccocious!y Of stirring must bt
spO0n.
A WICKED wag of lawyer, in a countr!
court, recently scandazed the bench by put
ting the following query to his proIcssiona
brethren: "Why ID Judge - like neccssi
ty!" The members of the bar present quick
" answered, "Bccausc he knows no law"
SOMEBODY says, ga baby laughing in it
dreums is convcrsing with angels" Pcrhap
so--and when crying in their waking hour
are having a spat with the devil. II such j
the case, the "poor dears" have considerabl
more communication with his Satanic majes
~ than with the spirits Of light Californian
A LAWYER in the District of Coumbic
having wearcd the court with long and du
argument, his colleague suggested to him th
expedency of bringing it 10 close. TIL
lawyer angriy replied, 81 will speak as loni
as please, sir" "You have spoken longe
than you please already" retorted his com
RAMON.
THE h0ndsomcr girl s, the more likcl
she is to die an old muid. Show us n gimblc
eyed feminine, and we will show you ayoun!
lady who will be Mrs. Somebody before sh
IL out of her teens.
YouYG mother, (who is extremely scnti
mental, on noticing that her first born, in til,
cradle, is exceedingly rcstless)--"'ihc angel
are whispering to thee, my own darling babe
Grandmother Extremely matter of-iuct--
"No such thing, Laura; the child has only 90
little wind on lis stomach"
JoHy, how does the thermometer stand!
Against the wall, dad.
mean how is the mercury!
guess it's pretty wei! dad; it hasn't COM
planned lately.
You little rascal, is it colder than yesterday
don't know, dad, I'll go out and feel.
A RICH anecdote is told of an amusing col
loquy that took place between Boston ex
quisite, reeking with hair oil and cologne
who was "demmng" the walters aud other
wise assuming very consequential airs, and
raw Jonathan who sat by his side dressed il
homespun. Turning To his "vulgah" friend
the former pointed his jeweled finger un,