Hannibal journal. (Hannibal, Mo.) 1852-1853, 1853-08-04
PRETTY coon

dUUD,
The other evening a gentleman Of Benicia
gave party, TO which were invited various OF
the honorable members Of the Legislature -
Among others was an honorable Senator from
one of the mining districts. In the course Of
the evening this honorable Senator chanced to
be engaged in dance with one of the fair ones
Of Benecia, who not having previously been
honored with his acquaintance, asked him where
he lived He answered.
"At Bencia."
"And how long have you resided here?" said
the inquisitive fair one.
"About three years." was the reply.
"Tis singular have never met you before
said she. MAY l ask what is your business
hereY"
"Oh," said the mischievouS senator, {" keep
a barber's shop down town."
The lady danced but minute more, complain
ed of being tired, and begged to be excused from
dancing any longer.
! Her vexation can bo imagined when she soon
after learned that the Benca barber was the
promising young Senator from TT Alta Cali
fornian.
We are indebted TO friend from New Lon
don, Mo-, for the following "sermon," sent here
from Caiforna, by ]. II. L., NJ. D.:
MINERS SERMON
A young physician, who after having received
his diploma from one Of our Medical Colleges,
finding that there was no chance of gaining a
livelihood by the practice Of his profession in
the place of his nativity, concluded to pack up
his tools and emigrate TO the land of gold on the
Pacific. Here he found no better encourage
ment in the practice Of medicine, for which he
had been duly prepared and licensed. AS last
resort he turned miner, and exchanged the seal
pei for the pick-aXe. In a recent letter TO a
friend at home, he embodes a SORT of valedcto-
Try sermon TO his last pursuit, which is well
worth perusal
"WnY WILL YE Die r-Son Of man for
the light Of whose presence my spirit yearneth
and my bowels grumbleth dost thou ask me
why? Is it not written that fortune smiles
upon fools And for the sake Of the smiles,
hath not thy servant been making fosl, yea, an
ass Of himself in vain? For five years and ten
days he has sojourned in this place-he has
dived into the water-he has torn ancient rocks
from their resting places, and removed them
alar off (he has likewise torn his breeches in
parts not to be spoken of--he has rooted into
the mud like unto swine.) (His beard hath
grown long, the skin upon his hands and face
hath changed its coler until he is now likened
unto wild beasts, and his garments are rent and
soiled, so that "sackcloth and ashes" would be
fine as purple and linen TO him.) He would
fa;n feed on husks, but there are none. (Yea,
he who in times past was wont TO fare sump-
tuously, and TO grumble over greater delicacies
than were piled upon the table Of Dives, now
snulls with gladness the fragrance of pork and
beans, and gnashes his teeth impatiently over a
frying slapjack.) He bolteth a raw onion with
unspeakable avidity. (Potatoe skins fear his
bpof pishn bofOra bi,o ,nJ
dogs look in vain for the bones. He sighs for
the flesh pots of Egypt, and mOurnS over the
barrcnness of the lands.)
In his sleep nevertheless, the good angel Of
the past deigns to visit him, and delightful Wis
ions are opened to his recollection, for a deli
cous "bill Of fare" floats before the mind of the
dreamer, and he orders ''oysters and terrapin
for six" only TO awaken to his internal slapiacks
and measses.
CAN this hath thy servant endured. Is he
not then fool, and abomination in the sight of
wisdom? And is il not unto such, and such
only, that fortune dispenses her favorS? Yet
she hath deserted me. Iapproch her and she
hieth !" "double on her trair' and she turn
eth away! await her coming and she stands
still secrete myself in her path, and seize
her unawares! But she glideth off as though l
had caught hog by MS creased tail! Sic tran
sit, exclaim, as with sick heart l revile
poverty and curse fortune.
Lo! are not these evils ? And wherefore
should they be visited upon thy servant? Surely
he hath sinned as other men sinneth. He hath
not coveted his neighbours OK, nor his ass, nor
his man servant-(or be it known unto thee,
that there are no maid servants here.) He has
abided by the claw and the prophets but the
profits have not abided by hm) Now, there
fore, renOunce these diggings-I put out
Igo-I slope-Q depart without scrip or proven
Idcr,) taking no heed for the morrow, for the
morrow takes no care of me. Ere five days
shall have passed, the shirt tail of thy servant
will be waying in the breszes of Nevada. A
remnant Of It will be nailed on the highest
mountain that he crosses, an emblem of the sX-
tremity TO which man may be reduced in the
land of Ophir. Yet think not, old Elisha, that
would rend my garments, for this alone. We
Irily, say unto thee, an evil genius hath long
pursued me. She hath followed me close upon
my footsteps that every thread and fibre of my
ranent is familiar TO her eye. And If in pur.
suit Of me, she should gaze upon this relic in
the solitary fastnesSes Of the mountains, she will
at once recognize it, and believing me TO have
been torn and destroyed by wild beasts, she
will retrace her steps and thus will escape
her.
! Igo hence, Elisha, unto the town Of Sonora
where it has been prophesied that thy servant
Twill heal the sick, and prosper with amazing
ipros perity. As Moses reared the serpent in
the wilderness for the chirdren of Israel TO look
upon and be cured Of their infrmites, so / will
may gaze upon il and be made whole. Their
,r IA 81, L.. Il,