The weekly Placer herald., 1853-08-13


lection. "I have written great deal
but as yet, my pieces have never been
published.'
"Perhaps," replied his friend, "there
were faults you were not aware of, but
easily detected by the hawk-eyed editor" ;"
"Well," rejoned the poet, ''l can al
ways write the first line we'll enough, but
[ am perplexed about the second, thus:
"Tread lightly, stranger, DER this followed
dust;
At some future period there is some probabili-
ty that if you don't mend your ways-lay
like me you must"
"Shaw," exclaimed the critic, 'that's
bad measure''
"Why, man, YOU'RE mistaken, it's more
than is required"
Have you much fish in your bag? asked
person of fisherman eyes, there's a
good eel in it," was the rather slippery
reply.
How strange is it that no poultice has
ever been discovered to draw out mans
virtues so fully as the sod that covers his
grave.
Here is question which some may be
able to answer. When a man cannot
contain himself, is it because he is too
large or too small!
The two neighbors who s'fell out" have
got in again. Neither of them were in
jured
To see wasp wasted young lady in
ringlets and an abundance of flounces,
gracefully sail to the head of the table,
and with a voice as angelic as tenor
flute, call to the waiter for plate of cold
pork and beans, is one of the most trying
things romance can encounter.
A pretty woman is like great truth or
great happiness, and has no more right
to bundle herself up under a green veil or
any other abomnation, than the sun has
to put on green spectacles.
When conversation in a company in
which Dr. Johnson was present, had fall
en- upon rather delicate topic, one of the
ladies, with an expression of great dis
pleasure, rose and left the room. "That
woman," said the Doctor. ssis the most
immodest of all the company"
A dealer in ready made linen in New
York advertises his shirts and chemisettes
under the melifuous appellation of "male
and female envelopes"
The amount of bituminous coal import
cd from Great Britain and her colonies
into New York city for twelve months
last past is estimated at 100, 200 tons, cost
ing, at $40 per ton, $10O,O0O
"La, me-" sighed Mrs. Partngton,
here have been suffering the bigamies of
Il, al Us |
was seized with bleeding phrenology in
the left hamshire of the brain, which was
exceeded by a stoppage of the left veniil- |
ator of the heart. This gave me an IN
fammation in the borax, and now am
sick with the chloroform morbus. There
is no blessing like that of health, partlcu-
larly when you're sick"
Admitting yourself out Of court-a le
gal phrase, signifying liberailty of con-
cession to your opponent by which you
destroy your own cause. This excess of
candor was well illustrated by the Irish
man, who boasted that he had often
sl<ated sixty miles day. "Sixty miles"
exclaimed an AUDITOR; sthat is a great
distance: it must have been accomplished
when the days were longest +" "To be
sure it was; admit that" cried the in
genious Hibernian.
Our Dan'l says it's wonder the Legis-
lators are not sent to the State Prison, ifI
the statements of the political papers are
true, that they have leen passing "bad
bills.'' Dan'l is studying to be spoil
ticianer."
Good coffee is the rarest production of
the kitchen. The Scientific american
says, ''that the best way of making it, is
to put the ground coffee into a wide
moubhed bottle over night, and pour rath-
er more than half pint of water upon
each ounce and half, and then to cork
the bottle; in the morning to loosen the
cork, put the bottle into pan. of water,
and bring the water to boiling heat
The coffee is then to be poured off clear,
and the latter portion strained; that which
is not drank Immediately is kept closely
stopped, and heated as it is wanted"
A man, complaining of being turned
out of concert-room, said he was "fred
with Indignation" !"
"If you were .fred," remarked by
stander, ''perhaps that was the reason
they put YoU out"
Several friends of the late Daniel
Webster have united in presenting to Mrs.
Webster the sum of $25, 200, to be invest
ed in stocks, or to be devoted to the pur-