Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1853-05-28
a zHumrorous sketch.
DOING A PHRENOLOGIST.


your constant study for the last six years? q
Intercepted little gentleman of Mr.. Adolf
phus Brown-the ''man of bumps" who
was sojourning in the quiet town OF s.,
giving glorious evidence Of the irrefragible
truths Of the great science, by lectures and
explanations, public and private. ..
81 may say, sir,' replied Mr.. Brown,
shat have devoted more time to this pro-
fession, than any other subject that ever
engaged my attention. ..-g ..F
There was numerous assemblage of
persons in the little office, some waiting 10
be examined, some for the purpose OF inves-
tigaiion, and others from mere curiosity TO
see this singular individual, who could
fathom the mysterious depths of human
character, by gently passing his digitals
over their astonished cranums. The little
gentleman proceeded:
Nothing could crafty me more, than
to see the science thoroughly tested.'
Then you have not had ihe pleasure Of
attending any of the lecturesp said Mr..
Brown.
'Oh, yes, sir; but you know there is
possibility that characters OF individuals
may be arrived at by physiognomic or
physiological observations; or by scanning
the dress, manner and general appearance
Of the person. l have heard that Mr..
Fowler has, on different occasions, consent
ed 10 make public examinations while
blind-folded.'
He has, sir and The result has invaria-
bly, proved, TO every honest mind, the in
contestlble truths of this great science.'
At this juncture Of proceedings, both
the speakers and the listeners were sudden
ly aware of the fact that the door of the
little Office was being opened, and moreo-
! yer, that real Jonathan was about to in
trude his nqusitive self into the presence
OF the learned disciple of Spurzheim.
He was habited in mortal "ong. tailed
blue" beneath which pair OF rusty cow
hides peeped forth in all their puritanic
glory. On his head Of dirty red locks, sat
most antique bell-crowned hat, pitched
jauntingly to one side, while the Jonathan,
wreathed in sunshine of smiles, no sooner
opened the door than he baw!ed out at the
top of his voice; regardless of all present
'Feel felier's pumkin, here, Mister 7
sSirn fiercely calculated the thoroughly
disguised professor. ...... =.
Il say-yeou feel raound amongst fel.
ler's squash-his cocoanut, you know,
said Jonathan, removing his venerable hat
and smiling his head with his fist, by way
of calculating his interrogations-'to Sc,
whether he's got any sense in him, hey .
Il can manipulate the exterior surface O
the capital member, to ascertain the pecu
liar characteristic qualities of the perso
under examination,' replied Mr.. Adolphu
Brown, the phrenologist, with great flour
sh of words.
'Jehu, du tell y calculated Jonathan
: starting back in aStonshment. Then yo
amt Mister Brown, the old iernology Gus
heyp
Il am Mr.. Brown, sir, the phrenologist
'Oh, yeou be, eh Can examine feller
head, hey-for the cough, heyP
Il make chronological examinations, sill
replied the genius Of bumps.
charge in advance, hey"
'One dollar answered Brown.
y And forthwith, Jonathan forked over Il
: "California," and deposited himself in Il
professors great armchair, TO be operat
% upon. .
During the examination, he was PIT
posely made as verbose and untelligible
possible, in order TO appear OF some magI
10 tide in the eyes OF the assembled auditor
70 Jonathan would occasionally eSclaim;
20 sJehu-yeou don't say wall, meow
j" never knowed that ar afore mistake, dc
tor, never was in all my life. New
knowed was half SO clever ieller, afo
no heow.n p &c., &c., always disputing I
truth Of the characteristic qualification
IA; ascribed him by the ''doctors," much
III chagrin of the latter, and much to the M
riment or those present.
rs When the examination was nearly &C
cluded, Jonathan began to work arou
lid rather uncomfortable in his seat, and
of length exclaimed - "a. r--
ne d say yeou doctor, ain't it rather wa
'P' here, Just now? Guess Pll take off
Is. overcoat.'
ar And suiting the action 10 the word,
tai proceeded to rid himself Of this extens
garment, exposing beneath, suit OF W
- made fashionable clothes; and then plac
ssi. his hand On his head, he removed witt
grace that would have done honor 10 JC
: Van Buren, himself, his acig
! of 'Why, Judge! isit possible . exclair
us the little gentleman, spr;nging forward
lot shaking the ex-JOnathan cordially BY
hand. o.. s.t 10 .as. ra. -,
= Never was man more completely du
las, founded than Mr.. Adolphus Brown,
!, l'D phrenologist, as the Judge held up the
lie dirty wig before his astonished g
- saying, with good humored smile, W
va. va "a wicked litter ran through the crowd
N~ wall, doctor, you've gin that ar W
}. purity fair character, considering il use
. belong 10 an actor, and meow want
and to give me mine-ii you please -
ana Spangsed Banner.
- Clark Mills, Esq, has purchased a
ioI and admirable site for his American Sc
lG ~