Plymouth advertiser. [volume] (Plymouth, Ohio) 1853-1988, 1853-11-05
A Cute Yankee.

azine. IL is told by correspondent who
signs himsulf "Timmins.'
Among our passengers coming home,
said he, was Mr., H, not long ago, q
deputy collector in our port, at the Gus.
tom-house, most entertaining gentleman
who hasno idea that he is telling anything
amusing, until he is reminded of it by tht
loud laughter of everybody about him.
When | was Deputy Collector in New
York, says he, was sitting in my offic,
one hot afternoon, when long, slab-sided
Yankee fellow came in with kind ofguil
ty look, his hat dangling in his hand, hi,
head hanging on one side, and his eve:
cast down. but with a curious kind oil
smile, too, as l thought sneaking filfully
across his face He stood by the door fo,
a minute, twirling his hat, and seeming
10 be afraid to come forward TO where wa:
sitting.
well, SIR | asked, swhat is wanted |!
BE you Mr.. H--?' said he.
yes, Mr.. H. is my name.'
'faes, but be you the Deputy Coliec.
tor of New York State.
| answered that l was the Deputy Col
lector of the Customs of the City of New
York.
EXACTLY says he, 'yaes, the very maj
| want to see.'
He hesiiated again, and twirled his ha
more rapidly than ever.
'What is your business with me ? state
it, said |, rather sharply, my time is tot
valuable to be wasted in useless talk or de
lay
'Yaes,' said he, 'dzactly so. Well YOU
see I've got into leetle trouble, and
come to see if you couldn't help me Out
a little
He fingered his hat again, and I grew
impatient and nervous.
60 on said l, 'and get through
What is your trouble and how can | helr
you, or what have + got to do with itl
'Well,' he went on, 6 I was down te
Havana the other day, and being fond o
smokin' l bought a few cigars for my
own use; and when we got back to Y orl
Idid'n know that there would be any hur
in bringin' in few, but as man wa
bringin' on EN- up Broad street, they ar
rested-fer 'dewlies,' the man said
'de,cties;;' and he said they must be al
IurIelteu, vi uuIIn-Cateu, anu that
couldn't have none on 'em, he said. unles!
IcouId get EN- entered And he told m
l couldn't gitnone OMEN entered until yo
had give permission, and that he rathe
thought you wouldn't do it-dewty or NJ
dewty.'
1 was struck with his simplicity-hi.
greenness, l thought at the time and wa
disposedto overlook what might have beel
an attempt at smuggling, in consde ratio
of the fact, that after all it was probab ,
pure ignorance.
So | said: AS you seem to have beer
ignorant of the revenue laws, l will en,e
your cigars, and you can have them upo
payment of duty. How many had you I?
Twenty thousand on 'em =
'Twenty thousand cigars for you
own use! This alters the case entirely.
Well. not 'dzactly for my own use
but wanted some for my friends to smoke
tew. That's ALL
Well, sir, on payment of duty, tn
cigars may be taken away
'Dowty! not ar,er they're sentered,
there amt no dewty is there! That
what the man said that took them off tn
cart
explained to him that the cigars mus
pay duty, and that it was great fave
to himself to be permitted to take ther
away at all.
Well said he, putting on his hat, an
holding the door ajar, | han't got n
money to pay dewties but I'll 60 u
town, up to ST., to see friend q
mine, and maybe he II take 'em ou,
Good AFTERNOON
The next day, just as I was about leav
ing my desk the Yankee operator cam
in, bringing with him, dark, Spanish
looking person.
I've come to get them cigars said he
that was arrested for dewtles. M
friend, here. will pay the dewties.'
The necessary preliminarles were gon
through with, and the cigars were toxic
away.
Early on the morning of the next day
as was sitting at my desk, fel fair
tap on my shoulder and looking ur
who should l see but my Yankee custe
mer standing over me.
How de du to-day ? said he.'
I'm quite we'll, thank you but VIII,
do you want of me now p
'No,hin, said he,-'nothin'-got don,
And he gave wink and Ieer tn,
none but just such Yankee as bimse
could give.
We done that thing up handsom,
didn't we 2 said he.
'What thing!' I asked.
why, them cigars said he. .The
wasn't Cuba cigars; them cigars W,
made in Connecticut! l got a factor
there myself, and I had 'em took up Q
suspicion. But folks he added, wi
like 'em just as well as the choicest Hs
yanas, Fact is, there's good deal {
deception practiced about cigars
| | showed the lmpudent, designing, vi
scrupulous fellow the door, and he wel
out winking aad laughing. we di
tat hing up handsofne!' as if I myse
had been party to the nefarious tran
action. .gR