Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-06-08
The Bachelor and the Baby.

Iae 6aclelor ana the BABY.
There was no one at home except the
baby's mother. and baby, and I. Baby
had Just gone to sleep, when baby's mo-
ther remembered q trifing commission
which she had promised to execute for
me in the village. With an injunction
to touch the cradle. if baby woke, she
departed. leaving me proud of my new
employment, and l'illed by past immunity
into state Of fatal security.
With one eye on my book, and the
other on the cradle like faithful watch
dog, [ listened to the retreating football
that should have warned me, but did not,
to look out for squalls" had no idea
Of the awful responsibility which I had
taken upon myself, or should have
shrunk from it, as a cat does from water,
or a mastifl' from churning machine. In
fact, rather suspect that [ felt in tri
fling degree ambitious that baby should
open one eye-only one-that [ might
have the pleasure of shutting it again
Unwary mortal How little do we know
when we are we'll off! My ambition was
but too soon to be gratificd: [ had yet to
learn by bitter experience how weary is
the lot of those who-tend On babies.
wonder whether infants are conscious
in their sleep of their mothers absence,
and know that an opportunity has arrived
for "cutting up their didoes?"
The baby, over whose slumbers | had
become the guardian genus-how the flies
pitched into its nose WAS as sound
asleep as any baby could be when it's mo-
ther departed: but no sooner had her
shadow faded from the room than symp-
toms Of watchfulness began to appear
First came a sigh; then a chuckle, that
said as plain as chuckle could say, Now
for some fun" then one eye opened and
shut, and then both began peeping about,
till the head seemed inclined to bob off
the pillow.
felt little nervous at these symptoms
only a little. Poh - said I to my
self, & a roll or two of the cradle will soon
settle your business youngster.'
But it did not. Baby was bound to
have spree. 1t knew that q its mother
was out" That big, bothersomc blue
bottled hy, too, tired Of watching for the
ship over the clock face, started on vov-
age of discovery on its own account, and
the first promontory which it reached was
the nose of the baby, tempting spot,
upon which it landed for refreshments,
buZzing most villainously as it did so.-
1t vas a ticlllish landing, however, and
baby soon drove it off with sneeze that
astonished its nerves, and mine, too, more
than the fl Us; for the fly was accustomed
to ticklish situations, which | was not
Baby was thoroughly reused. Up went
its round, chubby arm but rock of the
cradle soon sent that back to its place. [
did rock that cradle beautifully. The lit
tie head rolled to and fro as easily as if it
had been fastened on by toy mandarin s
neck. | could not help admiring myself
for the way in which | did it, and | am
sure that any reasonable baby would have
gone to sleep again, if only for compli-
ment's sake; but the baby in the cradle
didn't. The moment the rocking ceased,
up popped the little head, like Judy's in
the show, with a small peevish cry That
cry! it was like the " tizzing of the fuze"
of powder magazine, sure to end in an
explosion.
Were you ever reused in the middle of
the night by the maid all-work coming
in her slippers and night-cap to inform
you that the house was on fire, Did you
ever stand near Dutchman who was
weighing powder with a lighted cigar in
his mouth ! Did you ever stand over the
boiler ola Mississippi steamboat, and ex-
pect every moment to be landed on the
tree-tops half mile inland !! If not, you
cannot conceive my horror when | heard
that cry. was in a cold perspiration
from head to foot. | have no doubt that
hail-stones as big as peas might have been
picked off my forehead. Irocked'for dear
life. and hahr bounced about like a hall