Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1853-01-05
1eker's Olio.

I've got in an awful scrape, as the chin said to
the blunt razor
Why is the letter A always discordant. Be-
cause it is in-harmonious.
"If 1 am stuck up, amt PROUD" said the beetle
when he was pinned to the wall.
Why should you suppose fish did great deal of
weighing! Because they always carry scales.
When does a thief resemble molasses! When
he is put in the sto9s jug. -
Why is lady's bonnet like cupo1at Because
it covers the belle.
Why are most piecesof .illainlN like candle7
Because they are brought to light.
= Gentility is said to be eating meat with silver.
fork, when the butcher has not beer paid
Why is Bulwer very Industrious man! Because
he wrote Night and Morning.
What sit that most resembles our climate2 A
flock of sheep composed of all "weathers."
In extra polite circles the nightmare is termed
".he nocturnal horse of the feminine GENDER
A gentleman once sent for an artist to draw his
picture, who was requested to place him standing
unseen behind tree.
s:No pains will be spared" as the quack said
when saving off poor fellows leg to cure him of
the rheumatism.
Society is composed of two great classes-those
who have more dinners than appetites, and those
who have more appetites than dinners.
AT a late break up of the tetotallers, they were
described as retiring from the temperance society
s'full of spirits"
A true picture of despair is a pig reaching thro'
a hole in the fence to get cabbage that lies a
few inches beyond his reach.
German writer, in late volume on thsspcial
condition of England, observes that thieves in
London must be very scarce, as they were offering
rewards for them.
Nobody likes to be nobody; but everybody is
pleased to think himself somebody. And every
body is somebody; but, when anybody thinks
himself to be somebody, he generally thinks
else to be nobody.
Smithers, on going home the other night was
run against by three story brick house which
was chasing lamp post up the street. On COM
ing to, he thus reasoned with himself: Is that
mud (hiccup) or is it brains! (hiccup.) If it's
mud, I'm mortally 'toxicated. If it's brains, I'm
slightly dead, lhiccupo that is all.'' When we
left he was trying opersuade freestone step that
t was unconstitutional to have awning posts out
,f doors after nightfall.
".Helloa, Cap'n, when were you elected" in
4uired wag the other day of fellow who was
driving pair of horses that looked if they had
been fed on hoops for the last six months.
Elected to what! ~ answered the fellow with
the pair of Rozinantes.
ssOverseer of the poor" replied the wag.
"Ga lang, git up" and the official departed.
"vonce, ven vas court my Caterine, I vas go
on my field to hoe my potatoes corn. Vel then I
sees Caterine coming der road, so dinks to give
him boo, so climbs q tree, and shist ash vas
going to boo him falls off on der fence and sticks
4 pig knot hole in my pantaloons, and Caterine
zas laf and makes me more shame than sheep
nit Won tam tief on his pack-true as book.
BreAaY.-" Father, did you ever have another
wife besides mother!''
"No my boy, what possessed you to ask such
luestion!'' -
"Because I saw in the old family Bible where
vou married Anna Domini, in 1875, and that isn't
mother, for her name was Sally Smith,