The weekly Minnesotian., 1853-01-01
ODDS AND ENDS.

MEEKNEss:-We heard of a poor boy about
eighteen, who fell in love with '.strong mind
ed' widow, aged thirty-fve. He was in bad
way, didn't understand "widders" but "hung
around" so much as to attract the notice and
contempt OF his idol. Getting desperate, and
nearing the widow was sick, he mustered up
courage, went down to the house and offered to
watch with her," Her eyes flashed, she lump
ed up, looked at him, aud said with awful dis
tin ctness:
'Jem, tell your mother if she don't keep YOU
at home, FHhmt your'
Jem arose, went to her .dogratype," which
hung over the mantelpiece kissed it, dropped
Two tears on the cats back, made up on awful
face-and left. Hasn't been there since-TEr.
Nelson's funeral, in 1909, cost seyenty-fye
thousand dollars; William Pitts thirty thou
sand; WellIngton's will probably cost as much
as both together
CATHOLIC NATIONAL CorScn.-The Catholic
Mirror informs its readers that the Bisbon of
Pittsburg. who has recently returned from o Wis
1t to the Papal See at Rome, brings the decision
OF the Rope with regard to the determination
OF the late National Council of the Catholic
Cpurch in the United States Most of the de-
crees are approved. with some verbal alterna-
uohs, put no decision was given with regard to
the newly established Sees The Pope, however
WISHES no change in the existing discipline of
the various dioceses in regard to feasts and
fasts '''''
THE idle mans head" saws the nrovcrb,
us the devils work shop And fine place
ne has to manufacture and carry on mischief
principal prop of the public morality is con-
slant employment, directed to some useful
end.
=, The American Archimides, who discovered
the distance from the sun to the earth by measur
ing the length OF his oldest boys foot. thinks,
ny sauarng the circle of a mans acquaintances.
!ne latter would be able to reduce his pocket
oooH 70 equaton OF payments. There is mathe-
maticai truth in his last opinion.-.E Y. Re
publican.
Does Pa kiss you because he loves YOU >"
inquired little snnbby-nosed urchin of bis
maternal ancestor, the other day. "To be
sure, sonny, why?" "Wal, 1 guess he loves
the kitchen girl too, for l seen him kiss her
more'n forty times last Sunday, when YOU was
gone to meeting.
A chap on yesterday, wishing to buv nair
OF spectacles, was shown a vast quantity. but
none would suit. He was finally asked what
kind of pair he wanted. He said he wanted a
pair through which he could see as well as with
the naked eye. The optican taking the hint
presented him with very finely polished frame
minus the glasses. The fellow placed them
astrlde his nose, and looked at a newspaner
remarked that they were the very ones he had
Deen looking for all the while. Upon taking
tnem on the merchant Immediately commenced
wrapping them up.
How much are you going to charge me -
asked the purchaser.
-Four bits" was the reply.
lie forked over, and We could not helm laupb.
Ing at the idea Of fastidiousness being 60 com
pletely sold.- Wheeliag Times.
SHAKING HANDs.-An exchange saws that nj a
recent duel near Vicksburgh the parties dis
charged tnelr pistols without effect, whereupon
one OF the seconds interferred, and promised
that the combatants should shake hands To
TINS the other second objected as unnecessary ;.
ior SAID he, their hands have been shaking this
half hour. '"'a
Tis sweet. on winters night at home. to sit
Sy nre and tapers but ah, it is a wiser thing
by far, to take the papers o.
.,, Gentiemen and ladies'" said the Snowman
mere you have magnificent painting of Dan,
iel IN the lions den. Daniel can easily ho dis
unguisned from the lions by the green cotton
umbrella under his left arm"
A. vocalist says be conld sing "way down on
'ne oid Tar Ricer,' if he ouly get the Pitch.
mean and miserly dispostion-a hopisb
soul and morose character are in;nr;ons ~
health. Beware of them. ''0"S W
A PRINTERS Wr.-The New York s,,r
the following beam: - eAii'S
correspondent entered an Office and accpSed
the compositor of not having punctuated his
communication. when the typo earnestly replied
"l'm not a pointer, I'm a setter
Methodist preacher near Batesville. Va.
says his circuit this year includes "Bunkum
township" California Settlement DEVILS
Fork" and "Helrs Gate"
oI Mr. Stagg, hog dealer of Porkopolis sent
Sueen victoria twelve hams They we're so
very paiatable to her Highness that she drocteJ
gentleman who signs himself "Mastor ~ of 49,
Household" to order twentytour Of The " s,,ne ,ne
USE OF WIFE.-Ritcher saws "No pa,
either live piously or righteouslv r;ti ah eah
wife" A very wicked bachelor ofour .nUa. ,cauu!
tance says to this 20 yes suferinps and so,an
trials purify and chasten the heart.' ''e
The English journals are almost Unanimous
n the demand that Birmah be added to The
British Empire in India. These same journals
are indignant at the wickedness of the people
9. ihe United States for having an eye upon
VI. Beeswax in his Essay on his Women ~
sxya, nave made women my study for a series
ye@s. put never found one who stnttered
met with any number of men, every dav wbo
et-6tetammer but never have T 49, ~ ""V