The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1853-05-06
WIT.

| The Alderman, some days ago, inuuo no'''0
remarks about pair of razors Syme, OF the
Petersburg IntelIigencer, had received, and
thereby drew down upon the head OF the 9TH
er editor of the Dispatch whole pile OF bricks.
As we like to be fair, we give the sayings Of
both these worthless in full
II is strange that a number OF editors are
understood lately TO have received presents of
| ..rnzors" The last case was that of Syme, of
the Petersburg lntelligencer. These presents
have a squirting significance. We suppose
| the next hint will be arsenic-that would be
unmistake able .-Richmond Dispatch.
We are rejoced to hear that our Napole
onic neighbor, Field Marshal Peasants, has
got back from the blood stained fields of Ma
| rengo, Austerlitz, Jena, &C., and turned up
| once more in the sanctum. which we began
to fear he had finally deserted. The stirring
scenes which he has witnessed have rendered
his wits as keen as the blade of his sword
But he need not fear on account of either our
jug u lar or the coats of our stomach. Such
hints as he refers TO are eRtirely lost upon US,
and we hope to live long enough to see him
leave the camp and the battlefield and become
the father of an interesting family of at ieas:
nine children: IT is delightful to think of h hi:
I sitting Ia bis chimney corner, and telling his
FIST born, Napoleon Hugh Peasants" what
| a great man his namesake was-how he
| abused "perfde Albt0n"-how he snubbed
| the AustrIans-whacked the Prussians-and
| how the Russians "snowed him UNDER" &C.,
| &c. If he will let US know when the pre-.
liminary step to this interesting scene is TO be
taken, we will lend him one OF our raZors to
| take off beard which we have never yet seen
cut close enough-Pet InteUagencer.
We love wit, and next to perpetrating it
ourselves, our greatest pleasure is bsing the
cause Of it, however innocently, in others
The pleas which we derive from reading
the above specimen is enhanced by the agree.
able assurance which it conveys that our
neighbor keeps up his spirits. He, too, has
just returned from a field of battle, which
| though it be neither Austerlitz nor Jena, is
prodigiously like Waterloo. We will not cal
it SO, however, for perhaps our neghbor may
prefer TO have it thought that he was merely
"snowed under.' We like the hint about the
name prodigiously; but our neighbor has pro-
badly read Mrs. GLASS; Cookery-Book, and i
he has, cannot have forgotten her advice with
regard to the dressing of pike. "First catch
a pike" says the sagacous old lady. We
cannot say that we have any great faith in the
number nine, when it comes to be applied te
a family, how we'll soever it may answer wher
applied to the muses.. We have always
thought MIR. JOHN Rogers needed not the add
ton of FIRE and faggot to make him very re.
spectacle martyr, so far as suffering in the
flesh can establish claim to that respectabl e
title. Should our mind undergo a change
however, we may yet make use of our neigh
boris edged tools, since he is determined not to
"cut the carotid We must be certified, how
ever, of two things the one is, that he did no
shave with them on Monday morning last be-
fore he went upon the field of Waterloo, fol
there might be bad luck in them. The second
is, that when the required number of nine be
duly made up, We may not find use for them
for purpose not at all connected with keep
ing under that beard, whose length is the
cause of So much Wit ON the part of our mel h
Dor,