, 1853-12-31
NeWSDaperdOm

1t beyond my comprehension how Me-
tbuselar lived nine hundred and sixty nine
years without a newspaper, or,~w hat the
mischief Noah did, during tho "foyty>day'"
shower, when he had exhausted the study
Of Natural History. II makes me yawnto
think OF it. Or what later generations did,
the famished half hour before meals; or,
when travelling, when the old stage-coach
crept up steep bull, some dusty hot sum-
mer noon. Shade Of Franklin how they
have ennueyed. How did they ever know
when -four had "riz'-or what was the
price of pork, small tooth combs. cotton
wool and molasses? How did they know
whether Queen Victoria had made her bro
,her an uncle or an aunt, How could they
find out whether Fanny Fiddlestick was
Naptheli wilkins sister What Chris
tianized equity old men and snaPpish old
ladiesl What kept old maids from max
ing mince meat Of pretty young girls /:
What did love-sick damsels do for "sweet
bits Of poetry" and "touching continued
stories % Where did their Papas find a
,olace when tue coffee was muddy, the
toast smoked and the beef steak raw, or
done 10 leather! What did cab drivers
do wheI waiting for tardy paironf What
did draymen do when there was "a great
calm" at the dry goods store Of Go Ahcal
& Co.. What screen did husbands dodge
behind, vhenS their wives asked them fOr
money?
Some people define happiness to be one
thing. and some another. define it 10 be
a room rcarpeted and Furnished with ex.
changes" with place cleared in the mid
die for Two arm chairs, ono for q clever edit
or, and one for yourself. Isay it is to take
up those papers one by one, laugh over the
funny things and skip the stupid Ones-tc
admire The ingenuity Of wOuld-be literary
lights, who pilier one half of their original
o. ideas and steal the remainder. say it
is 10 shudder thanksgiving that you are
not in the marriage list-tO try. for, the
hundredth time, 10 sJlve the riddle, How
can each paper that passes through your
hands be "the cheapest and best periodical
in the known world"
lsay it is to look round an editorial
.sanetum, inwaldly ehuckling at the IOrlor1
appearance II makes without feminine I'm
a gen, 70 keep it tidy to SEQ the looking
glass yelled with cObwebs the dust on th'
r desk thick enough to write your name in
the wash bowl and lowell mulaIto culor, th'
soap Hqui6ed TO q Jelly, editors like Scf
soap y the table covered with q heterogehe
Gus mass Of manuscripts, and paper folders
and waters, and stamps, and blOiting paper
and envelopes, and tailOrs bills, and letter.
complimentary, beligeTeDt and pacific.
=, i say Il is to hear the editor complain
with ftown, Of the heat and his headache
10 conceal smile while you suggest lhc
probability Of relieff window should be
opened 10 SOC him start at your superior
PrOfundity 10 hear him Say..with q groanl
how much proof" be has to read, before
he can leave for home; to take off your
gloves and hclPhim cOrtecti i |; to hear him
ay, there is book 10 review, which he hs.
not lime to look over 10 take folder and
cut The leaves, and afix euids-boards for
noIiee al all the fine passages TO see him
kick over an Innocent chlir, because he
cannot get hold Of the right word for an edi-
iOrial; TO feel (while you help him to IL
very much like the mouse who gnawed the
lion out OF lhe net, and then 10 take up his
paper some days aher, and End paragraph
endorsed BY him, "dePIOring " the inlellec-
tual inferiority Of woman"
That's what ! call happinessi
t.F t-t af E.unv E-,,,