Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-12-24

STARTLING "A gentleman accosted lady i,
the street with, "My dear Mary, have beer
at your house, have placed my life in YOU
hands! ~ "You amaze me. what has happen
ed?-speak!'' answered the lady "Only, my
/ dear, having written and published my Me
moirs,' left copy for your acceptance" re
piled the gentleman.
TIT FOR TAT" Mr.. Timothy" said learn
ed lady, who had been showing off her wit al
the expense of u dangler, ''you remind me of a
barometer that is filled with nothing in the
upper storyH' ''Divine Almira,'' meekly re-
Piled her adorer, Gin thanking you for that COM
pliment, let me remind you that you occupy my
upper story entirey''
distinguished divine was walking with a
friend past new church in which another dis
tinguished divine is the shepherd Said the
friend to the D. D., looking up at the spire,
which was very tall, and not yet completed,
elbow much higheris that going to be?'' :'Not
much" said the D. D.. with sly laugh, they
don't own very far in that direction.''
FEELING EAsY.-We heard story of fellow
who related his experience when the Nahant
Bank failed. GAS soon as heard of it," says
he, "my heart jumped right into my mouth.
Now, thinks |, if I've got any bills on that ere
bank I'm goner, that's a fact. So YOU see |
would carry me-run all the way. So, when l
got there. looked and found hadn't g,t any
bills on that bank-nor any other felt some
easier"
IRISH WIT.-Some company in Ireland dis
putting relative to the quickness of reply, as
| crbed to the lowest orders of that country, it
was resolved to put the matter to the test in the
person OF clown who was approaching them.
Pat, said one of the gentlemen, s'if the Devil
was to come determined to have one us, which
do you think he would take?" "Me, to be
sure" 'Why so?" "Because he knows he
can have your honor at any time.'
1t is all very well to get rich We ourselves
have no objection whatever to belong to the
ranks of rich people. Whoever confesses an
aversion to belong to the same class is hypo-
crite: at heart he would be rich like other
people. Are not riches source of power, of
| honor, OF ease, of enjoyment-such as they are?
And do not all men, ay, and women too love
these? What we do say, however, is that these
must not be bought at too great price; and to
buy them at the cost of our life-of our health,
which is our life, and the source of its enjoy
ment-as certainly to buy wealth and its rewards
at far too high price.
a GEM-Who wrote the following beautiff
epitaph on an infant? 1t speaks to the heart:
Beneath this stone, in sweet repose
Is laid mothers dearest pride;
A flower that scarce had walked to ife
And light and beauty, it died
God in his wisdom has recalled
... The precious boon his love had given;
And though the casket moulders here
. TIE gem Is spark1ing noao IN heduea,.
DISCOVERED AT LAsT.-A correspondent of
the Leicester (Eng.) Mercury, having heard
that prize had been offered for word to
rhyme with month, hopes that the following may
be Judged successful:
fsping girl sat on her fathers knee
A-rying to rhyme the little word month:
And she iaugh'd as she said IN let YOU thee
.s.y. can Mdy it again, for I've Mdid it acoa.th.
NEW TEMPERANCE Soc1ETY.-Perhaps many
OF our readers are not aware that new Tenn
perance Society is shortly to be formed in our
little community. We have not heard the full
particulars, but the principal feature is novel
and Independent. 1t consists in the oath: 81
do hereby promise never to drink whiskey, or
any other spirituous, vinous or malt liquors,
when there is water to be obtained, unless like
the whiskey, or other spirituous, vinous or malt
liquors better. The proviso is admirable 1t
saves all the unnecessary trouble of reprimands,
suspensions and dismissals. Most of our citizens
will doubtless, join, as there is no initiation fee
Rat.
NoNsENsE.-To attempt to clean your teeth
with shoe brush. To suppose that a work
table is capable of performing hard labor. To
suppose that the fever and ague can transform
Philadelphia Quaker into Shaking Quaker.
To think fgetting the cream of a Joke BY skim
ming the "milky way!" To set up pennies for
stars to shoot at To endeayor to draw an in
ference with piece of charcoal. To imagine |
that the frame work of society is constructed of
To suppose it would be neces-
sarily fatal for us to swallow one of our own |
jokes, however poisonous they may be to others. |
How TO DO UP SHIRT BosoMs.-We have often |
heard ladies expressing a desire to know by |
what process the fine gloss on new linen, shirt |
bosoms, &C.. is produced. and, in order to crafty
them, we subjoin the following receipt: Take |
two ounces of fine white gum arabic powder
put it into pitcher, and pour on pint OF more
of boiling water, according to the degree of |
strength you desire, and then, having covered |
it, let it set all night-in the morning, pour it
carefully from the dregs into clean bottle,
cork it, and keep it for use. A tablespoonful
Of gum water, stirred into a pint of starch made
in the usual manner, will give to lawns, either
white or printed, look of newness, when moth
ing else can restore them after washing.
At recent Wing celebration in North Lyman,
H., the following toast was given - 49,.
BIZ GUEST. Our Kountry's Kitchen Ka5inet
Rommendably Korrected, Komfortably Korner-
?" aiiu nonoluoiou hoIHpletely hOnquereQ. LO, |
! Kurious Kontriving Kabinet Kommittee, of
Kool Konsequential Konclusions, and Koy Krafty
Aonsulters, Ko-operating, Kumingly Konsuit
.ad Kontumaciously Konclude, that Kinderhood
kabbage Kan be Kulivated Kopiously, and
Konverted into Kurious Klean Krout,,
cautiously Krammed in Klose Kasks, Karefully
zeopered, Kontaining Konvenient Kwantities,
carefully Karried and Kept Klean and Kool, to
Aongratulate the Koy Kozening Kronies, Kal-
!oun, Kambreleng, Kendall and Kompany, un-
il 1874. ~ -
New York ELECTION. fufl returns
4 the vote for state officers, official from
very county except N. York, show the fol-
owing result Secretary of State-Leaven-
vorth, Wing, 16o;s7s; Clinton, Hard Dem,
9,477; verpiank, Soft Dem, 90, s,Oso. Con,
roller-Cook, Wing, 1863 ,g74; Cooley, Hard
)em, s2,256; Kelly, Soft Dem, 97,123.
anal an a ce@missi9ne51 Fddiner, Wing, 1911
32 Mafher Hard Dem, s7,345; Yates,
oft Dem, 96,2S5. Attorney! !General-Hof. /
nan, Wing, 164,754; Brady, Hard Dem,
1882; Grover, Soft Dem, 6;2ss It