The Belmont chronicle, and farmers, mechanics and manufacturers advocate. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1848-1855, 1853-10-07

"Divorce is the word," cried Jones, PLAY
fully patting her double chin. "The fact il
Eliza, I'm rid of that cursed woman, and 20
and I'll be married to night know how t
manage these scoundrels at Trenton.
champagne supper, (or was it a breakfast!
did the business for them. Put on your bon
net and let US 60 to the preachers at once
dearest"
The widow (who was among widows a
peaches are among apples,) put on her bonnie
and took Jones' arm, and
"Just look how handsome it is on parch
ment!" cried Jones, pulling the documen
from his pocket, and with much rustlin,
spreading the document out before her
"Here's the law which says that Jacob Jone
and Anna Carolina Jones are two! Look a
it" Putting her plump gloved hand on hi'
shoulders, she did look at it.
"Oh dearr' she said, with her rosebud lips
and sank back, half fan,ing, ON the sofa.
"Oh biazes' cried Jones, and sank beside
her, rustling the fatal parchment in his hand
-"Here's lots of happiness and champagne
gone to ruin"
1t was hard case. Instead Of being d.
vorced and at liberty to marry the widow, ia
cob Jones was simply by the Legislature oi
New Jersey, incorporated into a turnpike
company, and which made it worse, authoriz-
ed with his brother drectors,) to construct a
turnpike from Burlingtos to Bristol. When
you reflect that Burlington and Bristol are To-
Gated just mile apart, on opposite sides of
the Delaware river, you will perceive the ex-
treme hopelessness of Jones' case.
"It's all the fault of that id turnpike
man, who gave EN- champagne supper, or
was it breakfast!" cried Jones in agony.
"If they'd chartered me to be a turnpike
from Pigs Run to Terrapin Hollow, might
have borne it, but the very idea of building q
turnpike from Burlington to Bristol bears an
absurdity on the face of it," So it did.
"And you amt divorced" said Eliza, tears
rolling down each cheek.
"No!" thundered Jones, crushing his hat
between his knees, sand what is worse, the
Legislature is adjourned, g. gore home drunk,
and wont be hack to Trenton till next year,"
1t was hard case.
The mistake had occurred in the last day
OF the session, when Legislators and ;ranscri-
bing clerks were laboring under the effect of
champagne supper, followed by a cham
payne breakfast. Smiths name had been
put where Jones' ought to have been, and
",oisey ,cersey," as the Latin poet has it.
This is the substance, if not the words, Of
the Captains story.
"Do you mean to say that that is fact!"
asked the Doctor. s.'-
"This is sample of Jersey legislation"
calmly replied the Captain.
The Doctor sat a long while in deep
thought, absently playing with the cork OF
the three-fourths extinguished bottle, and at
last said in a calm, decided way:
"Captain! Long-a-Coming and Camden
may 90 to blazes! This very night will re-
pose in the bosom of my family, Captain.
The next train starts at five o'clock, and |
will take it,"
Whether this be true or not, we cannot say.
bat both the Captain and the Doctor are men
of the truth, and the latter, one bleak autumn
night, when we were both belated amidst
the pines, at the very Jerseyist Of Jersey tav'
erns, told the story to me Oy bright WOOD
fire, and with a sincere and earnest face.