The Belmont chronicle, and farmers, mechanics and manufacturers advocate. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1848-1855, 1853-04-29
SCRAPS.


We think we might add TO that:
Perhaps its good enough indeed,
For the muses. to turn iobbers,
And visit Caiornia's golden shores, G
To people them with Robbers.
tChicage Jour. Il
ntTA lazy, over-fcd lad, returning from 4
dinner to his work, was asked by his master. y
"if he had no other motion than that" eyes al
replied the boy, drawing out each letter, "but d
it's slower" a
~ If a paper of tobacco come to three i
cpntsl-what will pint of gin came to! d
Two black eyes, and visit to the watch i
house. y
NTA Spirit Level.-A drunken man in ?
the gutter. |.
O.TTheodore Hook says of railroads and 9
steamboats,: "They annihate space & time,
not to mention multitude of passengers"
0t5-The errors of the good are often diff
ficut to eradicate, from being founded on
mistaken views of duty.
0TSuETT's JoKE-"The candles you sold
me last were very bad" said Suett, to a tai
low chandler. "Tndeed, sir, | am sorry for
that" "Yes, sir, do you know they burnt to
the middle, and would then burn no longer?"
-"You surprise me; what, sir, did they go
out!" "No, sir, no; they burnt shorter.
G'FCan a man be considered a "loose
character who comes home tight every even
ingl Will some of our numerous friends
e!ucdate! The question is ahead Of our
time.
CeJRobert Hall did not lose his powers of
retort even in madness. A hypocrilcal con-
doler with his misfortunes once visited him
in the madhouse, and said, in whining tone,
"What brought you here, Mr.. HALL" Hall
significantly touched his brow with his finger,
and replied, Whatll never bring you, sir
too much BRAIN"
G5-Dr Bailie, not more famed for his medi-
cal skill than for his strange common sense
way of displaying it, being called in to at
tend F. Reynolds, the dramatist, during a
nervous complaint, that fertile play-writer
said to him:
"Doctor, do you not think write too much
for my constitutional
"No," replied the physician b tly,
"but you do for your reputation"
Cyan Indiana paper says: Amos Worth
ington, of Cairo, is dead. He was an unpre-
tending man, lived unostentatously, and sup
piled the people with fish. His last words
were Characteristic:
81 say Pritchard I'm going to peg right
off. I've hrtcd my last fish, but bury my
tackle with me--who knows but they'll bite
in Jordan"
% We are assured that among the last
,I (, ,b, 4, ,;,,
which we insert here lest it should be called
news:
"Graud Growlcr of the Miami Tribe
Samuel Medary, of Ohio"
Some lone bachelor editor away out in
Missouri is guilty of the followipg
Why is the heart Of lover like the sea
serpent!
Because it is secreter (sea creetur) o
great sighs (size). Dreadful, wasn't it,!
OtYTo prevent Days going mad in August
Cut their heads off in July.
0t-Leigh Hunt was asked by lady, al
dessert if he would venture on an orange
"Madame, should be very happy to do &C
but I'm afraid | should tumble off,
0ETThere was rule in an old debating
society of which we read, which might be ad
vantageousIy recommended to some of oui
public bodes.-"'That any gentlemen wishing
TO speak the whole evening, should have q
room by himself"
0TQuITE CoRREcT.-A college studen,
being examined in Locke where he speaks o
our relation to the Deity, was asked, "Wha,
relations do We most neglect"-He answer
au ,uith much simnliritv aDnnr
SIR,
0C3-He only is n great man who can
neglect the applause of the multitude, and
enjoy himse!! independent of its favor.
0|5-Mr Stocking, speaking of the good
qualities of woman, says his wife is the most
even tempered woman he ever saw, she's al
ways mad!
0SJ-The Washington correspondent of the
N. Y. Courier & Enquirer says, the crowd of
applicants has slightly decreased this week,
and only slightly. The gamut of their hopes
and their finances is displayed in the follow
ing order and character of the dispatches per
Telegraph, which proceed from them to wit:
No. /. Get me strong letter from
politicians Smith and Jones, and more names
from the polists.
No. O. Things look very bright; they are
working.
No. 3, Things look doubtful; tell the boys
not to bet high on me.
No. L. Pitch dark Things HAS worked.
No. 8. Send me twenty dollars to get home
on.
0H~A Yankee editor says:-"The March
of civilization is onward-onward--like the
slow but intrepid tread of jackass towards
q peck Of oats"
0STA misery skinhint old gentleman
down east, having lost a son, was called up
on by his minister, who suggested various
alleyiations OF his calamiy. adding that
doubtless his reflections would suggest many
more. 'Yes,' replied the old curmudgeon,
wiping away his tears, Joe had an awful up
petite-it cost almost twice as much to feed