Southern sentinel. [volume] (Plaquemine, Parish of Iberville [La.]) 1848-1858, 1853-11-19
NUMBER IL

vOrce and turnpike bills; and Jones and Smith
(cach with copy Of his bill in his pockctJ
went home rejoicing, over miles of send, and
through the triOuIation Of many stage coaches
Smith arrived home the next evening" and rs
he sat down in the pqrlor, his IuHcing wife be
side him, how pretty she did look. and Cyc Of
his children asleep overhead, the other fiyc stu
dying their lessons in the corner Of the room,
Sm!t! WAS induced to expatate upon the good
results Of lis mission to Trenton.
"a turnpike, my Ic#r--l am one Of the d.
rcctor$, and vii! be president; it will set us ~,
love, We can send the children to a boarding.
school, and live in style out Of the toll. Iicrc
is the charter honey.
Let me see it," said the pleased wife, VITO
was one Of the incest Of women, with plump
ness aud goodness dmplcd all over her ioc",
''Let me see it." and she leaned over Smith,
shoulder. pressing her arm upon his own, a.
! shc looked at the parchment. But all ut once
S}mith'a face grew long Smiths witc's yi5agn
! groW dark. Smith Was not pro!;lne, but now
| he ripped iroth an awful oath ''D-----n, 'r'
| IaoS2 intor1G! $c"Ua@re5$ 1t Trenton hag2 H.
t0rcaI u$!"
1t WIS too true. The parchment mIich be
held was bill Of divorce, in which the n@r3..
Of Smith and Smiths wife appeared in FRIGHT
| fnlly lcgbo letters Mrs. Smith wiped h,.
! eyes with The corner Of her apron. "tIer,
| Tarnpflc,2 she sad sad'v, and with The Nhoi,.
ten children staring her in The face ain.t
your Wi.c Here urnpike!" HS
:D---n the turnpike, and the legislature,
and thc--."
Well the fact is, that Smith, reduced to sim.
| Gle blcssedDess "enacted" into stranger to
his own wife, awfuIy Although The night wa,
dark, and most oftlc dpnizens oISnIitL's yjilag.
had gone to bed Smith had is late wife put on
her bonnet and arm in arm they proceeded 10
the house Of the Clergyman Of their church.
"Go0dneas bless me- exclaimed the mild
good man, rs he saw them enter, Smith look
ing like the very last. June shad, and Mrs.
Smith wirnw her eyes with the corner Of her
apron, 'GoOdnesa bless me. what's the mat
tcy:'
":Ihe matter is, want you TO marry Us two
right off, said Smith.
MARRY you" calculated The clergyman viii,
expanded fingers: are you drunk or crazy"
Il ain't crazy, and wish was drunk" said
Smith, despajrjngy. The fact is, brother
| Goodwin, that some scoundrcls at Trenton,
| unbeknown to me, and at dead Of night, have
divorced me from my wife, the mother of nino
chi'dren!"
"Ten," suggested Mrs Smith, who was cry
ing. "Here's 4 turnpike"
Well, the good minister seeing the state of
the case, married them over again straightway
and would not take fee
The fact is, grave as he was dying to bealono
so that he could give vent to the suppressed
laughter that was shaking him all over.
And Smith and Smiths wife went home and
kissed every one of their ten children. The
little Smiths never knew that their father and
| mother had been stranger by legislative enact
ment.
Meanwhile, and on the same night, Jones
! returned to bis town Burlington, believe and
sought that fine pair of black eyes which he
hoped shortly ia call his own. The pretty widow
sat by him on the sofa, white kerchicf tied
careessly about her round white throat her
black hair laid in Silly waves against each rosy
check.
"Divorce is tie word" cried Jones playfully
patting her cheek. "Ihe fact is, Eliza, I'm rid
of that cured woman, and you and Ilbe mar
ricd to light | know how to manage these
scoundrels at Trenton. a champagne supper,
Cor was it breakfastO did the business will.
them. Put on your bonne. and things and let
US 90 the preachers at once, dearest!.'
The widow who was among widows as pea
ches sre among apples, put on her bonnet and
took Johns arm, and
"Just look how handsome il is put on parch
ment," said ohn,pulIing The document from
his pocket and with much rustlaing, spread it
before her. 'IIere is the law that says that
Jacob Jones and Anna Caroline Jones are two.
Look at it. Putting her plump gloved hand
upon his shoulder she did look at it.
"Oh, dear.' she said with her rose bud lips
and sank back half fainting on the sofa.
ooh, blazesl' cried Jones, and sank beside
her, rustling the fatal parchment in his hand
Here's lots Of happiness and champagne gono
to ruinI'
It was hard case. Instead fbeing divorced,
and at liberty to marry the widow, Jacob Jones
was simply incorporated into a turnpike COM
pany and which made it worse, authorized with
his brother directors to construct turnpike
from Burlington to Bristol When we reflect
that Burlington and Bristol are located just a
mile apart on the opposite sides Of the river,
YOU viii perceive The extreme hopelcsncss Of
Jones' case.
XII s all the fault Of the d---d turnpike
man, who gayeem the chamgaieGc supper, Or
was it breakf;lst?' cried Jones, in his agony
Tftheyd chartered ne to bnilda turnpike from.
Pigs Run.to Terrapin Hollow, might have
borne it, but the very idea of building turn
pike from Burlington to Bristol, bears an ab-
surdify upon the face Of it."
So il did
"And you amt divorced" said E'ize, tcas
rolling down each check.
mo- thundered Jones', crushing his bat be-
tween his knees, ard pounding his head with
his fists, 4 amt divorced, bat lin Incorporated
into turnpike! anl what is worse the legisIa-
tare is adjourned and gone home drunk, and
won't be back to Trenton till next year"
TWAS hard case.
The mistake had occurred in the last day Of
the session, when Legislature and tfanscrlblnS
clerks were lAboring under the effects OF
champaignc supper followed by champagne
breakfast. The name Of Smith had been pat
where Jones ought to be and "t0icey ~ercFy" a.
the L@tio poet hash.