The weekly Placer herald., 1853-11-05

the Country's Safe!
Hats worn on the heads of u DISCOURSE
The bucket that hung in "AlI's WE'LL" and
fragments of the man that burst into tears,
are said to he the last curloStIeS found.
If you wish to increase the size and
prominence ot your eyes, Just keep an
account of the money You spend tnIlIshly,
and add it up at the end of the year.
The man that is not afraid of thunder,
t'IkS of goIng to The springs next week,
without asking his wife.
If our Creator has so bountiiuIly pro-
vded for our existence here, which is
but nomentary, and for our temporal
wants, which will he soon forgotten, how
much more must he have done Tor our
enjoyment in the everlasting world.
Deal gently with those who stray
Draw back 10y love and persuasion.
kiss is worth Il thousand kicks. A kind
word is more valuable to the lost, than
miue of gold.
"Who made you:" inquired n Indy
teacher of II Inbberly boy, who had lately
Joined her class.
- tIoHl KNOW, SiI'l he.
"Don't know? You ought to he asham-
ed of yourself A boy fourteen years old!
I Why, there's little Dickey Fihon-he is
only lhrep-he canteII, | dare say. Come
here, Dickpy who ,na,!e YOU?
"Gnd," I>prd the infant prodigy.
" here" said tIe TEACHER trIuunphant-
ly, 81 knew he would rru,tmber'
"NrII, he oughtrr,' sand the stupid
-. Il, hi,
he was miit.'
a friend of ours met rather n queer cns-
toner Oh the Troy road durIng the last
rain storm. He found him and his horse
at dead stand in the middle of The read
looking very unconceruedly around him,
while the rain was pouring down with
II perfect rush Somewhat surprised
at the awkward situation of the man, he
enqured The cause, to " hIch he gravely
rep led, "Do tou take me to he II Id
fool to ride in all this rain. No, Stree"
Aibany Knick.
The following advertisement lately ape
peared in the London Il mes:
"Jane, your absence wllt ruin all
Think of your husband, your parents,
! your CHI drem. Return, return--ail Inny
| key of rhe cupboard where the gin is !"
A Yankee editor says:- The march Of
civilization is onward yard ike the
slow but intrepid tread Of Il ackass to
peck of outs.
A good story is told Of II chap at the
stOrming of Monterey, who came from AN
incorporated Western viiitge, vi here he
had frequently been fined for exercising
hts proprnrltles for rifle -honring within
the corporate lInuS of the rown. When
the soldiers entered the city, and the bat
tie was raging ferrtly, Tins fellow was
seen hooking with indignant wonder.
"W hat are yon standing there for"
said person W hn observed hun, "why
don't yon fire away!"
"Darned fnols,' he replied, "you'll
every one hr tuck up, for >hootu' IN the
rorporation.-G Germant0'cn Emporium.
a bachelor friend of ours says that he
never attempted To make bul one speech
toa woman, and then he dId not succeed.
| IL was II hrdutlful moonlight night, and
he caught her hand and dropped upon
his knees. He nul saw II streak of ca ico
as she went over the bars. He did not
see her again for fortnight, and then
IA fellow was feeding her with noaSses
candy and ginger cake ut ii circus.
ANCIENT FAMILY.-Sir Watkin Will
lians Wynnr, talking 70 ii friend about
the antiquity of his family, which he car
rpd up to Noah, was to d that he WAS
mere mushroom. "\nd," said he, show
so, pray!" "Why," rep led the other,
''when | WAS in Wales, pedigree OF
particular family was shown To me; it
! filled above five large Skins of parchment,
and about the fnidd" of it was note in
the margin, 'About this time the world
was created p"
HAUNTED HoUsEs-Houses that keep
a half dozen good looking servant girls.
The spirits manifested their presence after
midnight, by certain muffled rapS on me
kitchen door. To exercise them, chain
ii dog near the aren gate.
There are t,renty-ssven newspapers
printed in California, fourteen OF which
are in San Francisco.