New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1853-05-30
THE BACHELORS WARD.


'' So, my sanctum is to be invaded, my book
case rihed, my slippers displaced, my authority
as lord and master of this hitherto quiet mansion
disputed, by school girl-a miss, not yet out
OF her teens-a perfect mass, no doubt, Of ring
lets, muslin, silk, and sighs, mingled with ro-
mances, poetry, love songs, and beaux. Oh dear
my doom is sealed Farewell to newspapers.
cigars, and maps. Why, in the name of ali that's
ridiculous, did my friend choose to leave this
terrestrialglobe without this charming daughter,
or why did he not bequeath the dear creature
to some other mortal than myself"
Edward Wilson, or as lie was familarly
known among his bachelor friends, Ned Wilson,
seowled savage,y Mt an unotfending letter that
lay on the table, and seating himself began to
write reply. 1t was from the physician of an
old chum Of bis who had died recently and con-
tanned his dying wish that he would protect his
only child. He wrote, though rather ungracious-
ly, and stated that she should be welcome and
heaving tremendous sigh, growled out
"To think that, after enjoying thirty-fve
years of unrestrained freedom, | am to be bur-
dened with woman, one of that sex have so
carefully stunned, as | would any sort of trou-
ble-for they are good for nothing excepting to
teach men patience-and doubtless my private
letters and accounts will serve for curl papers
for her ladyship, and she will torment me with
novels ands lap-dogs-and dress-makers, milli-
ners, and dry goods clerks will besge the house
from morning till night, and | shall be talked
deaf about fashions and jewelry.'
Ned groaned inwardly at the dismal prospect
before him, aud his round good-natured face
grew long, and assumed such furlorn and dole
tul expression, that when the old lady who acted
as housekeePer, came in with tea and toast she
stopped short, and hastily setting down her load,
with very sympathizing and aiiectionate air,
exclaimed
:" La sir, what is the matter Has anything
gone wrong, or anybody dead =
He shook his head, and in a very melancholy
AMI lugubrious tone, said
" Every thing, AMI every body, my good wo-
man"
Not exactly comprehenling this very laeonic
and lucid speech, the housekeeper felt that some
great calamity had or was about to take place,
and that It was her duty to sympathze with it,
whatever it was, and accordingly she put her
apron to her eyes, and appeared much affected
Encouraged by this, Ned, with an apparently
cruel design to harrow up her feelings, con-
tinued-
. Yes, Martha, it is too true something ha.
happened very dreadful, and you see before yor
| the most miserable and detected specimen Of al
| old bachelor the universe contains
Martha thought it was time, so she venture
10 give a little sob, and simpered-
| :" Deed, sir, am very sorry, and it's grea
shame, whatever it be-"
= Thank you for your kindness, but il is of nc
| avail; my peace is destroyed. or soon will be
and you too must suffer with me, for the blow
will fall upon us both %
| At this, one round blue eye peeped curiously
out and glistened, but not with tears: and as
| lie proceeded, the apron fell, and that eye, and
| its mate, grew rounder with astonishment anG
| Indignation.
8. Yes, we are to have our happiness cast
fall loJ -
| flirting girl, who has always lived in the coun.
'ry, and has, without doubt, fiery red hair
coarse hands, and sings like screech owl sht
will be mistress here, and you
He was Indignantly interrupted by Martha
who felt her dignity and position outraged by
the idea of heing ruled by such creature anC
she burst out with
''T Then, master Edward, the house will not b,
large enough to hold us both and to think thai
| after all my long years ottaithful and hard ser
vice, that ! should be turned out of doors by {
good nothing little upstart of a baby L
almost breaks my heart 10 think of it = an(
she flung herself out Of the room
The door soon opened again, and she appeared
at the head of The kitchen forces, who had beer
reused to rebellion by her exaggerated repre-
sentations in that department, and they all ad
yanced. with set lips and frowning brows CAV,
notice that they should vacate their severa
Ned sat perfectly still while they delivered
their speeches, with the air of one petrifed anc
when they had all departed, he scratched hi
head in bewilderment, and giving himself
pinch, exclaimed
g Is this me, Ned Wilson, or is it somebod,
else = Pom honor | verify believe it is no
me, but some spuriou. Ned, some impostor, o
else have got q nightmare !"
He stretched out first one foot, then the other
or oI oh u,4fo, M.
stockings, the result of the labor of the house
keeper, and then rose, and looking at the imag
reflected IN the glass, he came at last to the con
cluslon that it must be himself and casting
plying glance at said reflection, sank into hi
easy chair, and thus soliloquized-
8 say, Ned Wilson, you are a miserable tel
low | sincerely pity you from the bottom of m
heart you are too good natured, and the selfs
world takes advantage of it, and rides over yo
rough shod they mean to kill you, and will nc
be contented till they finish you; your affair
are in decidedly confused situation, and you
well regulated establishment has gone to tn
dogs; you must think of some way to conciliat
Martha, for if you do not, the case is hopeless
lie passed his hand over his forehead and ie
into deep fit of musing, which lasted half a
hour What the result of his cogitations wal
he did not make known, other than by piteou
groan, and with subdued meek expression 0
ms pPSh iaSV' ne idiit5 lue Dell very tlL1luly an
gently Martha, after a time, made her appear
anee, and with an air of ill-concea!ed trump
d requested to know what he wished for Poe
Ned, in an humble, half entreating tone, said
s. My good woman, you 10 not really an
seriously think Of going"
Martha, looking like very much abused pei
SON. and in voice that expressed the deepe
aifiiction, answered
- For many long year have waited on yol
Mr., Edward, but | feel that it is my duty not
allow myself to be imposed upon, even by yo'
and shall go as soon as the new mistress come
| have served you almost for nothing, and nevt
complained, and this is my reward - and Il
apron was brought into use again
Your wages shall be doubled if you wi
only stay, and persuade the rest of the kitchs
= department to do the same-but do not think
leaving, on any account"
Martha was extremely shocked at the idea
having meacenary motives imputed to her, bl
after many sighs, tears and protestations, col
sented to stay, and out of pure affection, thous
very reluctantly, accepted the offer of doub
wages, and left the apartment, with the air
Il self-sacriticing martyr, while the grateful n,
overwhelmed her with thanks.
When the long dreaded day for the arrival
his ward came round, he tried to convince hin
self that he was the most miserable of mortal
and wandered about very dejsctedly from
; store to the house, then back again.
81 am the most unfortunate of men, unless