The weekly Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1852-1855, 1853-05-05
From the liiefary Museum. /
THE TWO DEAC0Ns.
BY 0. W. EATON.
Thslr tVS wives and taeIFtwa - Is I.


In the pretty village u BeIlpep?er, about
half century ago. all the village maidens
looked up 10 the two twin sisters Misses
Flounce, as the very pink and acme Of all
that was elegant and genteel. The Misses
Fiounce actually led the Belpepper fash.
ions; and they were very proud aud scornlnl
10 consequence Of their geniiIny, aad Of
wealth Of their father, who was a prosper
Gus farmer
They were so very proud, that none OF
the villagers darsl TO prnposs n1rriage to
either Of them; and such strangers as visit ed
their fathers did not care about wedding
with country snDbs. 81 the pride Of the
Flouncrs was IDGeb mortified, and they lived
TO be thirty yeats ofage before anybody pro-
posed TO them.
Deacon Brown and Deacon Green Off
ciatedin the church which the Flounce fam
lily attended. 4: grieyes US to say that these
two deacoHs entertained deep-rooted ami.
mostly toward each other Deacon Brown
prided himselfupon making a powerful ex.
Itemporaneous exhortation whenever called
upon: and as Deacon Green divided with
him the admiration OF the church, in this re-
spect, Deacon Brown looked upon Deacon
Now this should not have been. The two
deacons should have felt towards each other
like two brothersj should have rejoicgd al
each others popularity, and worked hand in
hand for the good Of the cause. Bnt there
was good deHl Of sold Adam" in both these
deacons, and time only served to increase
their dislike of each other.
| When Deacon Green understood that
Deacon Brown was paying his addresses to
| Miss Maria Flounce, he determined to mar
ry Miss Mary Flounce, so that nobody should
have chance to say that Deacon Brown had
rot the advantage of him; sand If Old
Flounce dies" thought he, "my wife, being
a twin, will be entitled TO as much property
as Deacon Browns Wife"
/ Accordingly, Deacon Green made love to
Miss Mary, and the two sisters finding them
selves quite lonely, walking with pride, a.
long the shady years OF life, embraced the
offers, and then embraced the Deacons, and
in short time became Mrs. Deacon Brown
and Mrs. Deacon Green.
Then commenced a rivalry between the
sisters, quite as bitter as that between their
husbands; tor the respective friends of the
latter claimed that their fGvOrite had mar.
ried the most advantageously, and would
I"make out" better than the other. Some
declared Maria had the best disposition
some said Mary. First the church, then the
village of Bellpepper presented the unnat.
ural. unchrlstian spectacle of rural and re.
ligious community divided against itself
deacon against deacon, aud sister against
sister!
This wasn't the orst OF it.
Deacon Brown had a fine orchard and
beautiful flower garden, and to keep tn
boys from robbing him. and endangerin.
their little souls, be bought big bull dog
half bull and half Newfoundland; and h,
called him Bose.
When Deacon Green heard of this hs re
solved to have big dog, too; especially a
his wife said that she supposed her sistel
Maria would crow over her now, unless sht
had watch dog able to create as much ter
ror as Bose.
SO Deacon Green, although professedly
man of peace, and an apostle Of the same
bought bob-taiIed mastif, and when h
} had brought him home his wife chrstene
him bony, after the great imperial modern
Mars.
snow we've got the dog, we don't know
what TO do with him. said deacon Green
: "we've got no orchard nor tower-garden Il
guard. I'm afraid, Mary, we shall have t
throw away our beef to feed pride"
swell, we shall have something to b
proud Of" said his vile. 81 am determine
that Maria shan't have any thing more tina
can get. She used to boast that she wa
d going to marry deacon, and equalled he
in that; and now the games fairly CON
kmenced; twin to twin-deacon for deaco
and dog for dog!'
Deacon Green shuddered at this speech
: Much as he dsiked Deacon Brown, he di
= not feel like carrying on an interminabl
war; but from what his wife said, he no
began to think that such result was not III
likely.
"DeacCn for Deacon and dog for dog!
: thought he, as he left the house. That's
very strong exPressoni My wife seems bel
: upon ptting me against Deacon Brown
T if ,rs were nothing but dogsl and ii her sit
. ter is like her We shall be in hot Watet beior
j long"
Deacon Green was fight.
"If you've got any spirit in yuu.' sal
: Mrs. Brown TO the deacon, you'll reset
d that insult. Deacon Green got that do
= Just to rldlcule US"
"But how can resent i'll AM deacon.
> "And are you going to be irampIed upo
: because you're deacon!" said his Vii
! sptefully.
d Deacon Brown colored up. IIis"0ld Ad
am" was rising.
al think" ho said, at length, IL will TAX
occasion the next time speak in meeting
I TO reprote those who indulge in an aggr;
waiting spirit" .,s
That's right, and don't spare them," sa
Mrs. Brown, esutingly; "anl say somethir
: about dogs"
:: "My brethren" said Deacon Brow
i when he was ending his next speech
meeting, "let US avoid quarrelsome, q
gravating spirit" Here he looked back
Il Green's pew "Let US not, either openly
secretly, try TO anger our brethren and 81
ters.
'Let noss delight TO bark and bite,
II For ii, their nature TO-"
but we are accountable beings; though I
s gret to add that some Of US are unaccount
e BILE beings, trying to make fuss With ca
e other, all the time. This, brethren, /, Il
= spirit of dog--(here Mrs. Deacon Gree
looked knives and forks at bim)--of son
il-natured nastU, always eager for bis owl
er TO give him a chance to fight with son
other dog. Let us not harbor such wicl
If ed spirit Of rivalry and contention"
When Deacon Green was finishing b
a exhortation, he took good care 10 make a
his gestures with one hand stretched Z
:, ward Deacon Browns pew, without iookiti
tkue