, 1853-10-01
Aunt DettE on SIaEImonI

"Now, girls said Aunt Hetty, "put
down your embroidery and worsted work,
do something sensible, and stop hui'dins al.
castles and talking of lovers and honey
moons it makes me sick it's perfectly an
iimonial. Love is a farce, matrlmony IS =
humbug: husbands are domestic Napoleons,
Neroes, Alexanders, sighing for other heart
TO conquer after they are sure Of yours
The honey moon is as short-liyed as lucll-
er match after that you may wear your
wedding dress to the wash-tu5, and your
night-csp to meeting, and your husband
won't know it. You may pick up your
own pocket handkerchief, help yourself to .
chair, and split your gown across the back
reaching over the table to get piece OF but
ter, while he is laying in his breakfast as il
it were the last meal hs should eat IN this
world when he ee;s through he will aid
your digestion, while you are slipping your
first cup Of coffee, BY inquiring what you u
have for dinner, whether tho cold lamb was
oil ate yesterday if the charcoal is ell out 4,
and what you CCave for the last green tea
yeu bought. Then he gets up from the ia
bic, lights his cigar with the last evenings
paper, that you have not had a chance to
read, gives two or three whifs Of smoke,
sure to give you a headache for tho after
noon, and Just as his coat tail is vanishing
through the door, SpologiseS for not doing
that errand for you yesterday, thinks 1t
doubtful if ne can to-day, 60 pressed with
business. Hear Of him at eleven O'Clock
taking an ice Cream with some ladioS al Tsy-
lor's, while yoo are at home new lining his
Goa, sleeves. Children by the ears ell day,
can't get out 10 take the fresh air. feel as
dizzy as fy in . drum husband comes
home At night, mods . how dye DO, Fan.
boxes Charly'I ears, stands little Fanny IN
the corner, sits down in tho easieSi chair 10
tho wArmesi corner, puts his feet over The
CRATE, shutting out all the Gre, while the ba-
6y's little pug nose growI blue with the
cold reads the newIpaPer oil to hInseli,
solaceS his inner man with hot cup Of tea,
and, Just as you ere lAboring under the halu-
cination that he will Ssk you to take .
mouthful Of hesh cir with him, be puts on
bis dressing gown end slippers, and begins
to reckon up the family expenses after
which he lays down on the sofa, and you
keep time with your needle while be 'nores
10 nine O'Clock. Next morning sSk him 10
leave you . little money he looks Si you
as il to bs Suro you ere in your right mind,
draws . Sigh long enough and strong enough
to initiate . pair Of bellows, and asks you
'what you want with il, aud II . halfG dol
lar won'tudo.' Gracious king! just as il
these litils Shoes and stockings, and petit
coats could Be had for half dollar Oh,
girls set your affections on cats, poodles,
parrots, or lsp dogs, but let mAtrimony
alone. It'6 the hardest way on earth Of
getting . living; you never know when
your work is done up. Think Of carrying
eight or nine children through tho mumpsi
measles. chicken POI, rash, and scarlet TO-
yer, some Of 'em twice over, il makes my
head ache TO think Of Il. Oh, you may
Bcrimp and save, and turn and twist, and dig
and delVe, and economise and die, and your
husband will marry sgain, and take what
you have saved 10 dress his second wife
with, and she'll take your portrait for Ore
board but what's the use Of talkingi I'll
warrant every one Of you'll try it, the 6rSi
chance you get; there's . sort Of beWith-
msnt about it somehow. I wish one half oi
the world wArn't fools, and I'olher half idi.
ots, do, oh. dearlo