Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1853-07-27
ONE GLASS TOO MUCH;
on THE wIFE's NIGHr-cAP.


BIZ NIX IN DER vooDS
Mr.. --. who doesn't live more than
mile from the post Office in this city. met some
Northern friends with Southern principles,
the other evening. and 10 extending to them
the Inequalities Of the Crescent City, visited
SO many Of our principal Saloons and Marble
Halls imbibing spiritual consolation as they
journeyed. that when be left them at their ho-
tel at the midnight hour. he felt. decidedly
felt that he had a brick in his hat Now
be hasa wife, an amiable. accomplished, and
beautiful lady, who loves him devotedly. and
fnds but ore fault With him--that is his too
frequent visits to the palaces where these
bricks are obtained.
Afses.iaaying his friends. Mr.. - paused
moment took bis bearings, and having
shaped course on the principle that oontin-
ual angles meet, made sail for home. In due
course Of time be arrived there, and was not
very much astonished, but rather frightened,
to find lis worthy lady sitting up for BIN.
She always does. She smiled when be came
in. That also she always does.
How are you, dear E. y she said. "You
staid out SO late. that | feared you had been
taken sick"
"Hic- amt sick, wife; b-but don't you
think I'm little tight r.
"a very little, perhaps, my dear-but that
is nothing-you have 50 many friends, as you
say. you must join them in q glass once in
while."
"Wife, you're too good-th- the truth is, l
am id drunk"
ooh, no, indeed, my dear--1'm sure that
even another glass wouldn't hurt you. Now
suppose you take glass of Scotch ale with
me. just as a night cap. dear?''
"You are too kind. my dear, by half--I
know I'm d-drunk."
"Oh. no. only julep too much, love-
that's all !"
"Yes, ju juleps-McNasters makes such
stiff 'unsv!'
"Well-take q glass of ale, at any rate
it cannot hurt you. dear want one myself
before ] retirer'
The lady FASTENED to open bottle, and
as she placed two tumblers before her on the
side board, she put in one a very powerful
emetic. Filing The glasses With the foaming
ale. she handed one to her husband.
Suspicion came cloudy upon bis mind
She never before had been 50 kind when he
was drunk. He looked at the glass--raised
it to bis !ips-then hesitated
Dear, won't you just taste mine,' to make
it sweeter 2" said be-
Certainly, love- replied the lady. taking
mouthful, which she was very careful not
to swallow.
Suspicion vanished, and so did the ale,
emetic and all, down the throat of tho salts
fed husband. After splitting out the taste,
the lady finished her glass; but seemed in no
hurry to retire. She fixed foot tub Of wa
ter before an easy chair, as if she intended to
battle her beautiful little feet. But small as
wore those feet, there was not water enough
in the tub to cover them. The husband be-
gan to feel, and he wanted to retire
"Wait only few minutes, DEAR said his
loving spouse; II want to read the news in
this afternoons Delta. l found it in your
pocket"
A few minutes more elapsed, and then
and then, Oh ye gods and Dan o the Lake,
what time The husband was placed in
the easy chair. He began to understand
why the tub was there; he soon learned what
allied him. Suffice it to say, that whom be
arose from that chair, the brick had left his
hat 1t hasn't been there since. He says
he'll never drink another julep; he cant
beax Scotch ale, bat be is death on lemonade
He loves bis wife better than ever.
Reader, this is truthful story. Profit by
its moral.
Thoroughly Dried Potatoes will always produce
Crop free from Disease.