Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1853-11-23
hit an0 Gunor.
re9g@"Sally, don't love you r.

LA, Jim, L reckon so.
"But don't you know it, Sally? Don't
you think I'd tear the eyes out of any honest
tomcat that dares look at you for a second p
Il s'pect you would"
"Well, the fact of it is, Sally, | -"
"Oh now don't Jim, you're too sudden"
And. Sally. want you To-"
Don't say anything more now, jim; l
will
But it must be done Immediately; want
you To-
"Oh, hush! don't, don't say any more"
81 want you, to night to"
What SO soon Oh no impossible
Father and mother would be so angry with
me-"
How? be mad for doing me such favor
as To-
Eyes, dear me. OBJ what feeling"
But there is some mistake, for all l.want
you to do is to-mend my tropsers -
Sally could hear no more. She threw up
her arms and screaming Historically tainted
away as dead as log.
gsy~Two young men waited upon the late
Peter s. Duponccau, Esq. to ask his profess
. sional assistance. One of them commenced
"Mr Duponceau, our father died and made
awil"
"ls it possible? never heard of such
thing" answered Mr. Duponceau
Il thought it happened every day." said
the young man.
ITS the first case of the kiad," replied Mr..
Duponceau.
"Well," said the young man. 'if there is
to be any difficulty about it, we had better
give you fee to attend to the business
The fee was given and then Mr. Dupon-
ceau observed
"Oh! think know now what you mean.
You mean that your father made will and
died Yes, yes, that must be it ! that must
be it!'
Ras~Editors of newspapers are bound tc
publish the following once a year, and we be
lieve that our turn has comet
An old lady, who did not know whethe
her plantation was in Virginia or North Car
DINA, fonnd when the line was run, that sh
was a resident of the former. "Well," sal,
she, I'm glad don't live in North Carolina
1t was always sickly StateH'
ENg~A very thin audience attending tn
tragedy of Richard Ill, at Windsor theatre
some time back. the crook back tyrant la
not sufficient philosophy to endure that ne
glect of his powers; for losing all patience i
the tent scene, he exclaimed with emphasis
I'm forth and aoak lchile !" and YER
composedly went home to supper.
nssysAn old lady objected to giving he
son collegiate education after learning tina
'profane history was one study.
She is a sister to the lady who would no
send her daughter to school because the mas
ter wanted her to study vulgar fractions"
Rsg~"Don't talk to me about your gun
cotton" said gentleman. an put my wifi
against any invention in the world for BLOWN
up; if the government could get her to SC
down opposite San Juan dc Ulloa, the Mex
leans would leave instauter."
BY How are you, Smith ?" says Jone.
Smith pretends not to know him, and reptile
hesitatiDgly: "Sir, you have got the advan
tage of me-" YES" retorts Jones, Il sup
pose everybody has that's got common sense
Smith looked unhappy.
Rxy-The Cleveland Herald addresses tb
to old bachelors elf our Maker thought
wrong for Adam to live single when there wa
not q woman on the earth how criminal
guilty are old bachelors, with the world fu
Of pretty girls y
Es5g-A woman in Boston has commenced
suit OF divorce against her husband becaus
he would not allow her to apply her tongu
to the stopper OF the molasses jug every tim
she used it; privilege every Yankee woma
considers sacred
nSg~The man who said he drank brand
for the EXPLANATION that IL gave him. wa
found at tea O'clock at night in the quite
by no means exhilarated.
n6y-Fishermcu. it is said, possess extraol
binary medical powers, for they never attemI
10 cure 6sh until II is dead