New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1853-04-19
DAILY CRESCENT.
THE MAJOR; Or THE FATAL TOOTH.

Every small country town and village in Ire |
land has not only clergyman and a physician |
as its especial property but it also possesses its
own peculiar soldier. The Major" I've some |
times meet the Captain but he's not SO i'm
posing,) in every such locality is quite as well |
known, and nearly as indispensable as the |
butcher or baker; andhe is as indsputably the |
oracle in all things appertaining to the Kafir |
or any other war in which 1t may please our |
rulers to embroil us, as the Curate is in dis |
cussing the ecclesiastical campaigns Of the pre-
lates militant in Exeter or London, or the Doc
tor in canvassing the merits and defects. Of the
Medical Charities Bill.
A pleasant man, though rather addicted to |
snuff, Is our Major. He is tall, and has round, |
STOPPING shoulders, which some of us don't CON
slider at all military. He .cultiyates pretty |
little garden-the Majors pinks and roses are
always in bloom full week before any one else's
and is followed wherever he goes by the smart |
est aud smallest of all possible black terriers 4
Little Bunty ought to have chapter to himself; |
it would be slight praise to say of him that he |
can do every thing but talk, for the tiny crea
ture does talk, and in language quite intellgi-
BILE to his friends-a term in his case, happy
dog! co-extensive with the whole circle of his
acquaintance, exclusive Of his neighbor's cat 4
At the word of command he stands upright
dances Jim Crow with all the apfomb of a canine
Taghoni-executes the naval maeuvre of swim
ing the drum. Buntys accomplishments, in
| Short make him the delight and admiration of
| the whole juvenile portion Of our community !;
while the creatures loving nature renders him
equally the favorite of the mammas, as they feel
assured that no amount of provocation, whether
addressed to his patient ears, or much enduring
tail, will ever cause him to bite, or even snarl
at their teasing darlings. :
Our Major, after the fashion of most half pay
officers, is often, according to our national say
ing, like Waterford merchant, very busy,
with nothing to do
His snuff box, his newspaper, his garden and
his dog, would serve indiferently to fill up the
long hours of q summer day, were it not for
that yalu ible vsource-and let stern philoso-
piers, whether in trowsers, petticoats, or bloom.
ers, say what they will. it is valuable, and by
no means exclusively feminine resource--cosy,
gossiping chit-chat. Our Major is a thorough
but most harmless gossip. One might fancy
him p ssessed of that saucepan, celebrated by
Hans Christian Andersen, which, when set boil
ing, communicated to its owner valuable and
| authentic information as to what every one had
for dinner Not only can the Major tell you
precisely what the fllet of veal which the Hon.
orable Mrs. de We're had for dinner last Sunday
cost per pound, but he also knows to fraction
the price of the Curates Sunday beefsteak, and
the Doctors Monday outlet Besides, he cult
Yates with success knowledge still more useful
than this culinary lore. He knows, to use his
own expression, " the ms and outs of the do
mestic and financial affairs of every one resi-
ding in our pleasant seaside village; even the
stranger within our gates is not exempt from
| his friendly surveillance; and were he so in
clined, he could make as much mischief among
us if he had served an apprenticeship to the
twenty old ladies in the P College, no two
Of whom are upon speaking terms. But our
Major, luckily, as knowledge is power is
1 thoronO hlv Uoad mt turpd apd To- xual
pleased as when occupied in rendering some lit
tie service to his Notwithstanding to him
self the privilege Of accomplishing it with a
rather greater amount of fuss than usually oc.
cupies the launching of a seventy-four. 1t is
however, in telling stories that the Major shines
True, we, the denizens of T, have hear,
his stock in trade repeated until we know then
perfectly by rote, and are quite an fat at th,
catch-word which is certain to draw forth eacl
particular tale; but as the public at large can.
not be supposed equally well instructed in these
legends, will recount one which never fails IT,
answer TO the word IS Executor
| So Brown, you tell me, has been appointed
Executor to Smiths Will''' said our Major the
other day, as we were lounging together a against
| the low, sea-washed wall that divides Carlisle
| Terrace from the beach T" dare say the trusts
committed to him won't be as strange as mine
were the first time Twas made Executor
Some years since, received letter from my
old friend and comrade Ellis of the ---th,
| telling me that his health had been for some
time declining-that he was about to make his
will, and earnestly desired that would consent
to become his sole executor" there being he
| added, "a trust of some Importance to be un.
dertaken, which wish to confide to no one but
yourself" The letter concluded with cordial
invitation to pay him visit at the snug cot
tage in Devonshre to which he had retired.
Now Ellis was like myself-an old bachelor
l on pnfh htch hale 7 Hal
burdened with this worlds luggage and accou-
trenlents, SO it never occurred to me that the
trust was to undertake could possibly relate
to any thing more important than the bestowal
of legacies on his old housekeeper and butler, or
his almost equally antiquated cat and dog ]
wrote Immediately to accept the invitation, and
early the next morning deposited myself and
my portmanteau in the E.. coach, which.
: after days travelling, left me at my destina-
ton. A pretty vine covered cottage was my
friends abode, and he was himself standing at
the garden wicket, ready to give me cordial
welcome There was nothing very death like
in the clear, bright glance of his eye, or in the
firm grasp of his hand; and l mumbled inter-
nally what the missive he had sent me could
possibly mean. However, kept my thoughts
to myself, and followed Ellis into the neat little
dining room, where the snowy table-cloth was
speedily and satisfactorily covered with dish
of fried soles, pair of broiled chickens, their
snowy breasts cleaning amid fresh, green pars.
ley and butter, a juicy ham, and dish of ten
der young peas. Ample justice was done to this
fare by myself, and despite his mortuary inten-
ton, by mine host also. After dinner he pro-
duced capital bottle of port, over which VIC
discussed many of our former campaigning ad-
ventures.
Notwithstanding the fneness of the weather
lit was in the beginning of June) had caught
a slight cold on my journey, which, towards the