Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1853-06-23
A NEW MODE OF SETTLING COFFEE.
SHOWING HOW "ACcIDENTs WILL HAPPEN
IN THE BEST REGULATED FAMILIES"

IN THE BEST REGULATED FAMILIES"
"Dear me! Nothing seems to 60 right
this morning. There are the children not
d5essed-.he baby's shoe los',-breakfast
not on the ,able,-Abby jus. up, the hair
brush mislsid, d,-and-oh, dear mel" and
Mrs. K. drew long sigh, and declared, sit
was Of no use, she nigh, as we'll give up
now -
To add to her troubles, at this moment
the door opened, and the servan. made her
appearance. "Please ma'am, the boarders
are waiting for their breakfast, and Mr.. john
son says he is in grea. hurry for he must
leave by the stage this morning"
"Well, Mary, you may pu. the things
right on the table and will be there pre-
sently. Have you seen the hair-brush, or
sis's shoe, this morning ~
"No MAJ The las. saw of the brush
sis had it trying to brush her head,' and
the girl having first taken journey across
the room to give isis" kiss, departed to
&c, the breakfas. in readiness.
Some Ten minutes after she left were spent
by Mrs. K. in a vain search for the lost
brush end shoe, when the breakfast bell
rang, and making has,y toilet, descended
TO the dinning room.
Leaving her on the way to breakfast, we
will give few words of explanation. Mrs.
K. was "Calfornia widow" so called, and
in order to obtain means Of living while her
husband was in the land Of gold, she took
few boarders, and her daughters, who
were old enough, besides the work they did
a, home, passed mos. Of their time in the
,ailor's shop. On the morning Of which
we have been speaking, nothing seemed TO
ego right" Little sis had been rather
troublesome, and the loss of her shoe and
the hair-brusb, had not added materially to
Mrs. KS. comfort, or good looks. Blu, as
there was no help for it, she was obliged to
enter the dinning room in rather an untidy
dress, bu. appologizing TO the boarders for
the delay, she took her seat al the head Of
the table and proceeded TO do the honors
as usual.
The hoardersseviden,ly felt lille cross
a. being KEEP. waiting so long for their break
fast, and lil.le was said. Suddenly one Of
them, setting down his cup with some en-
phssis, exclaimed -
"What in the world is the matter with
this coffee should think i, was settled
with piece Of hide ~ poor fellow he!
did no. know how near the truth his " ords
came
sit does taste queerly, that's fact" said
another of the boarders, and third vowed
i. was "vile stuff, and he could not tell wha.
it tasted like, unless it was decoc.ion OF
shoemaker's wax and ditch waler!''
This last remark was more than Mrs. K.
could bear. "Dilch water," indeed! To
have her coffee called ':dilch water :" She
could not stand that. A violen, Jerk of the
bell brought Mary TO the room, when her
mistress exclaimed,
"Mary, did you make the coffee this
morning as told you to? Now to be
sure -
"Yes'm. ! made it exactly IS you said.
One large spoonful of coffee, not ground too
fine, pint of water, and let j. boil, and then
an inch strip of fish skin, aud little more
water, and take i! off,"
"Very well, Mary. You see, gentlemen,
the strange taste Of which you complain
must be IN your imaginations."
"ll would take strong imag agination to
get up such taste as that" said the one
who had compared the coffee to ''di.ch
water" 81 should like 10 see the fish skin
she settled i, with"
MARY" said Mrs. K, "bring me up the
coffee po, and let me see what it is tina. is
the trouble with The coffee. And, Mary,
scaling after her. you may bring me the
large spoon, too"
In few moments Mary returned with
the large coffee pot and spoon, both OF
which she placed on the table before her
mistress.
"Now, gentlemen" said Mrs. K, 81 hope
you will feel satisfied when prove to you
that the coffee is the same as it always isl
And taking off'the cover, she pu, in the spoon
and drew up
Dear reader, dom! anticipate me. She
drew up, ! was saying, but she didn't, for
with sor. of scream, and dropping The
spoon, Mrs. K, without farther preimina-
ries went of in a swoon. Blu. Mary, NOV
ed by the pr"mp,ings Of curiosity, delermIn-
ed TO solve the mystery, and taking the
spoon, proceeded in her work Of discovery.
"La, sake's alive" was her exclamation
as she fshcd up the article that had SO al
fecled the mistress. "lf here lent that hair
brush that missls couldn't find this morn
ing, and here" she continued, as she gave
anolh er dive into the coffee pot, I'll declare,
here's sis's shoe | remember now, she
had it near the coffee po. This very morning
jus. afore turned in the water, but who'd
thought she pu. i! in there? 20
No reply was made to this speech Of
Mary's, indeed the boardess had all d'sap-
peared and Mary was lef. there 'alone in
her glory," holding out the spoon with The
shoe dangling from il in one hand, aud in
The other The vagran. hair brush, now, alas!
dfooping and "wilIed."