Southern standard. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1851-1856, 1853-01-15
JOab MeIlen's Adventures In Qnest of Novelty.

The funeral obscquies Of Mr. Webster brought
thousands of strangers to our city Among the
great multitude one Joab Mellen, youth
hailing from away out in Northampton. Joab may
have seen as many as twenty winters, and like
number of vernal seasons, but whether the vernaI
had predomnated over the wintry portion of his
existence or not, might be hard for us to saw posi-
lively, but that Joab slightly agricultural and
highly green in some of his outdoor arrangements,
will appear from the evidence as Counsellor
Duftail would say Joab came in town to see what
was ''up,' and especially in the way of the grand
pageant. By the newspapers Joab learned the
route of the procession, and posting himself in a
good position to the whole thing, he ''lad in''
small invoice of peanuts, and gave himself up to
contemplating the world about him.
Hello, mister = says young man with nicely
oiled locks, sleek-ironed and wiped smooth hat;
pantaloons with awful broad stripes and altogeth-
er rather suspicous-looking youth, 'wher's this
persession .
The possession, says Joab proud to be ap
peaed to for city information, aint got along yet;
guess it's coming, Whough.'
Thank you, says the youth in oiled locks,
VERY much to you
ooh not at all, says Joab, still more tickled to
see how this information and politeness took down
the good-looking young man.
Have you got the time about you . was the
next query Of the owner of the oiled locks, who
now took position joining that of Mr.. Mellen.
'Y-e-e-s 7 responds Joab, hauling out his lepins
ticker, Jest twelve O'clock
Thank you, replied the youth.
'Ob, you're welcome says Joab, putting up
his watch, and then says the youth
1 think the possession won't be along for an
hour yet, s'pose we just go over and take some
oysters
Joab jumped at the conclusion He trent, his
polite friend introduced him to another friend he
ate and drank something in one of those numer-
Gus subterranean rummeries in the vicinity Of
the conamon-he felt sleepy feeling soon af5
ter-one of his newly made friends asked for the
loan of ninepence Joab remembered pulling
out his port monnaie then-he kind Of forgot every-
thing, until finding himself walked up by the door:
keeper of the Museum, who wanted him to vamos:
1t was nearly eleven O'clock P III. the folks had
all slid, after the show of Uncle Toms Cabin
and upon coming into possession of his wits, poor
Joab found that he had lost about every tangible
article of value or virtu, from his toothbrush to
his lepine,-he was sans port monnaie, sans pock-
et-comb, sans jack-knif, sans every red cent he
had in the world, for getting lodging or getting
out of town Joab had formerly believed him.
self Christian cut and dried, for trials and tribu-
lations; but to be drugged, humbugged, robbed
and swindled by set of 'dern'd skunks,' as he
said, red Joab up-orfully He swore right out;
hit his heels and fists together, and giving vent to
his feelings in long, loud yell of disgust, Joab
looked fierce at two cents, as be rushed down
Cambridge street, and made his way out of town,
as if he had hornets nest s'iireing in the rear"
Yankee Blade