Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1853-11-23
MorrsTACHBs.

1850
is prina faciG evidence that Prentice has noinousi
taches losposts and has no genius for them.% 81
MEN WITH MoUsrAoHEs AND MEN ewirnoUy.
THEM
osmvL-Now, by beard OF all my fathers brave, !
IiIl not stand thAt-Itis personal.
AEaailGh, Turkish tragedy. |
aox,taeAe-A hairy oxeresence to tops goats,
and Iom.cats.-0d Dictionary
We suppose that few will deny that man has
an inaIisnable right to wear what hair nature be-
slows on him as he pleases Indeed, as lovers of
the largest liberty, we might contend that man
has q right to make an of himself, providedna-
ture has not already done SO. But as we are not
talking of asses at The present time, will dis
penSe with that subject. Hair springs out of |
childs scalp in the very earliest stages of IFS ex-
issnce and everybody sees the propriey of its be-
ing permitted 10 grow; but when. as aSign OF man.
hood, hair comes breaking through the upper lip, |
like daisies through the earth in early spring time,
a rush is made for razors, and the inepient beard
is RACED. Others, however, with the heroism which
becomes those whose upper lips are perforated by |
to improve the soil by the application of those
means which experience has proved beneficial, the
use of guano included, for all we know. Indeed, |
Judging from the the fruitfnness of some lips, we
have no doubt but that their Proprietors have at
last learned how to make art subserve nature on
the lip.
What can be more truly admirable, more manly, |
more noble, more essentially heroic than nous
taCl6 luAurtanL anu
from the upper lip, shoots forth and gracefully
circles the mouth and softly touches the chin be-
low! This kind of mouStaChes seem to belong to
men who have genius for moustaches, and are
altogether too refined for the lips of the vulgar
They effectually guard the mouth from the intru
sion of flies, and cover up the defonity of that
feature so nicely that no eye can discover it.
Did you ever see the proprietor OF such q NOUS
tache drinking oyster soup, OF hungry tom-cat
tapping cream2 In either case the mouStache is
sort of faster before hand, and by penetrating the
food in advance assures the palate that it is very
good indeed
There is another kind fmoustache which many
consider oven more beautiful than that we have
Just spoken Of. This moustache tries 10 run a
parallel with the lips and succeeds pretty well at
it. These moustacheS turn up at the corners of
the mouth, giving to their wearer the power to
sheer or to Snarl in an eminent degree. Indeed il
may be considered as a standing sheer and would
seem to denote some degree OF miSanthropy in the
wearer, which is, however, disproved by the ten
derneSs with which tits caressed ever and anon by
the loving thumb and forefnger.
The chief business of the day with the owner
of this moustache, after giving it its natural twist
upward with the curling tongs, is to keep it twisted
which he does with great expertneSS with his fin
gers. The proprietor of this moustache is gene
rally most ferocious fellow; Lord Byron speaks
ofan Arab whose beard cured with ire, which all
boards of this kind do as we credibly informed
There is still third class of moustacheS which
consists of hair matted closely together and entire-
ly covering the upper lip. This moustache neither
tumbeS down over the mouth like cataract of
hair nor has it any upward twist to it, but satisfied
with covering t. lip, it performs its mission and
does no This is the least pretending ofmous-
tacheS and its owner SO far as have been able to
ascertain might belong either to the peace society
or to the society for the propagation of fools with
out doing violence to his feelings,
We have in our minds eye at this moment pro
pTietors of each of the three classes of moustaces
which we have described. In making steamboat
EVAt hoN1V
provision for the amusement of the company the
captain had contrived to get an assortment ofnouS
tacheS on board. The owner of the mouStache that
. tumble down over the mouth and thence on to the
chin was slender chap and his hair was sort Of
compromise between auburn and carrots. He
could notTeSt satisfied with the course nature had
indicated for his beard, and hence he was forever
twrling it up with his fingers. But the beard was
rebelliouS and would not standup but would fall
down. 1t was delightful to watch the perSeVe-
rance of this gentleman in so good cause. He
would stand before the glass half an hour at time
trying to coax his beard to look upwards, while
all the time each particular hair would take its
own fancy and turn downward like the tail of
dog that has great love for mutton. But the
owner would insist and the hair wouldperSSt, and
the former growing desperate was in the habit of
jerking up his beard with so much force as TO bring
tears to both eyes. What he ever did with his
beard-whether he permitted it to have its way
or whether he at last, after many fruitess efforts
to bring it to terms, has cut it off, we are unable
to say. He had great fondness for his beard aud
could not sacrifice il without deep and painful
emotion, such as BFutus felt when condemning
his own son to death.
The wearer of the mouS!ache that turned up
naturally was evidently man who stood very
high IN his own favor, though lie was very dwarf
ish in stature. When he got his beard 10 suit his
taste, he would walk up and down the cabin for
the benefit Of the ladies, who watched him with
great interest. As he approached them, he would
twlrl his moustache up with his fingers TO be sure
that it was there in its proper place and from which
place it could throw out its curled fascination up
on the ladies, making them prisoners as certainly
as the laSso of the Alpacbe Indians ensnares It's
victim. His destiny seemed to US to be to cult
vate that moustache and 10 kill the women with ii.
And here it may be observed that men with NOUS
taches generally think Of nothing from morn 10,
dewyeve but the beautiful appendage that nature
has affixed to their upper lip: o.
The third gentleman TO whom we refer had
moustache as black as night and it lay thick and
matted across the entire lip. Its proprietor is also
a wonan- killer, having a short time before sue
ceeded IN running away with rich and pretty
girl who fell in love with his moustache and then
ran away whit. As he sat by her side Stroking
his moustache, he looked so conloundedly happy
that everybody envIed him. TheTeswaS con-
seriousness Of superiority in the manner of this
gentleman which could have sprung from nothing
but his moustache. His beard was superb and so
was the vanity. How many rivals he had scotch
ed in love we do not know, but he looked as If he
would like 10 slangh1et a whote heca1oHo OF theLn:
The truth is we suspect he had too much good
opinionof himself; if a man fortified by such a.
beard can be said to have loo much, We never
saw him kiss his BRIDE, but we have no doubt she
was terribly tickled whenever heidi so. No hus-
band ought TO think Ct wearing such appen-
tlage, for how can mouth thus appareled touch
the 'vermeil of such cheek without causing it to
feel that thousand taddies long -egs had sudden
" alighted thereonI' Very few husbands have the
bad taste 10 permit their lips to be garnished with
hair, while there are some few whose faces are
covered up like polar bears without kissing
spot on them, though it happens very fortunately
that no sane mouth would ever wish to touch such
beings.
No American of commanding intellect was ever
seen with moustache, and this fact may have
given rise 10 the supposilion or SANDER that the
larger the moustache The smallerthe dimensions Of
the brain. ,teasa
Ifbeard were brain why then 'tis said l
What few will ever doubt