Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1853-08-13
Pooping the Question.

ttWhat curious sensation that is which trou-
bles man upon such mission! Why does the
elegantly arranged sentence, studied with so
much care in orderto avoid formality and familiar
ity, begin to seem bald, and bold, and bungling,
Just as it is about to be wanted2 WHY'S it finally
revised upon the coarse mat i'll the hall, and utter
lyreiected upon the silky mat on the landng?-
Why do you feel choking, as with thi1St, and yet
could not drink the elixir OF lille 1t 1t were eSen
ted to you? Why would you pay hundred gui-
meas a step to have the staircase twice as long as
tits, and yet go up as hastily rs tyou were
ping from poor relation! WHY does that pleas
ing bow with which you have so often stopped to
conQuer-you know lt-Seem to you at once Il
great deal too low, and great deal loo slight, and
altogether abominable! Why 20 you wish you
had put on that other crava:? In short, why is
your sense so keenly awakened 10 the outward
man, and to the outside phrase, and why do you
forget that YOU have hitherto looked like gen.
tleman, and spoken like aphlIoSoPher, and gener-
ally done your duty in that state of lie in which it
has pleased Providence to place you, and that there
is no particular reason why, at one O'Clock this
fine day, you should make failure? 1t is a sat-
isactory answer to say that all this is because
there sits in the low chair near the window, in that
drawing-Toom, a bright'eyed young person of the
other sex, who, if you could only See 1t, can hard
ly hold her crotchet work for her tremor, who
knows intensely we'll what you mean, and what
you lave come for, and who designs to make you
the kindeSt possible answer, poor thing! if she
should be able to find proper words, and who, in
the meantime, is in about as fit condition 10 crit
else you, as am 10 correct the Jupiter symphony
or the Nautical Almanac Let me appeal to
some of my friends whether l have overStated the
case. There is Captain Pounder-thut big, hend-
some man with the black whiskerS, who, in one
of those dreadful Punjaub fights, lode slowly up a
| slope of three quarters OF mile towards fort
from which our dear oriental brethren were bla-
zing upon us with seventy cannons, and remark
ed 10 his comrades, as he dashed Singly into the
narrow breach, that he would 'wait inSde'-just
ask that dauntless person how he felt when go
ing to propose to Laura Green, of the Engineers.
Or speak to the Secretary of State for the unhesta
ting Department, who thinks nothing of tackl:ng a
roaring and excited House of Commons at mid
night, dragging a comrade out ola mess, and, like
Tyddes tearing the strongest battle of his antogo-
niStS amidst shouts that would diSmay statue
Only ask how it was that he went three times to
make personal offer to Lady ASphodel Wing
lngton, and at last obliged to do it in beau
tfuI deSpatch-letter, mean. Do not talk to me
about faint hearts and fair ladieS-of course we
know tkat many an eStimable female is very goOd-
natured, and would give you her hand just as she
would give you the sat, or the nutcrackerS, be-
cause you seem to be looking for it, and will in no
degree appreciate your making such sentimental
fuss about the matter, (and remarkably good part
ner such woman will make, too, mind that,) but
our discourse at present is less Of partnership than
of marriage"