Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-09
VOL. VII.
rible rage. God knows | knew not what


eyes.
Then follow me- said she, as she grasped
my arm firmly. raised my foot, and kicked
her-my sainted mother! How my head
reels, as the torrent OF memory rushes over
me! | kicked my mother-a feeble woman
my mother! She staggered back few
steps and leaned against the wall. She did
not look al me. saw her heart beat against
her breast. % heavenly Father she cried,
forgive him; he knows not what he does 2
The gardener just Ilicn passed the door, and
seeing my mother pale, and almost unable to
support herself, he stopped; she beckoned
him in. 'Take',his boy up stairs, and lock
him in his room,' said she, and turned from
me. Looking back. as she was entering her
room, she gave me such look-it will for
ever follow me. II was a look of agony,
mingled with the intensest love-it was the
last unutterabIe pang from heart that was
broken.
In moment found myself prisoner in
my room. thought for moment, would
fling myself from the window, and dash my
brains out but fell afraid to die. | was NOT
peni;ent. AT times my heart was subdued
but my stubborn pride rose in an instant, and
bade me not TO yield. The pale face of my
mother haunted me. flung myself on the
bed and fell asleep. Iawoke at midnight stiff
fened by the damp air, terrified with fright
ful dreams. would have sought nv moth
er at that moment, for trembIed with fear,
but my door was fast. With the daylight
my fears were disipaIed, and became bold
10 resisting all good impulses. The servant
brought my meals but did not taste them.
thought the day would never end. Just at
twilight heard light foot-step approach the
door. 1t was my sister, who called me by
name.
what may tell mother from you p she
asked.
Nothing replied.
% Alfred, for my sake, for all our sakes,
say that you are sorry. She longs to forgive
YOU.
i WON'T be driven TO school against my
WILL said |.
But you will GO if she wishes it, dear Al
ired,' said my sister, PleadingIy.
No, WON'T said l, 'and you needn't say
a word more about it,
%, brother, you will kiIl<ksf! you will kill
her. and then you willmever have happy
moment
| made no reply to this. MY feelings were
touched, but still resisted their influence.
My sister called me, but would not answer
heard her footsteps slowly retreating, and
again flung myself on The bed to pass ano,h-
er wretched and fearful night. o God, how
wretched! how fearful did not know.
Another foostep, slower and feeber than
my sisters disturbed me. A voice called
me by name. 1t was my mothers.
alfred, my son shall come in Are you
sorry for what you have done 2 she asked.
cannot tell what influence, operating at
that moment, made me speak adverse TO my
feelings. The gentle voice of my mother,
that thrilled through me, melted the ice from
my obdurate heart, and longed 10 throw
myself on her neck, but | did not. No, my
boy, did not. But my words gave the lie
to my heart, when said / was not sorry.
heard her withdraw. heard her groan.
Ioneed to call her back, but did not.
was awakened from an uneasy slumber
by hearing my name called loudly, and my
sister stood by my bedside.
Get up, Alfred. Oh! don't wait mo-
ment. Mother is dying
/ thought | was dreaming, but got up
melancholy, and followed my sister. On the
bed, pale and cold as marble lay my moth
er. She had not undressed. She had
thrown herself on the bed to rest; arising TO
go again 10 me, she was seized with the pal
pitation of the heart, and borne senseless TO
her room.
cannot tell you my agony as | looked up
on her-my remorse was tenfold more bitter
from the thought that she would never know
it. / believed myself TO be her murderer.
fell on the bed beside her. could not weep
My heart burned in my bosom; my brain
was all on fire. My sister threw her arms
around me, and wept in silence. Suddenly
we saw slight motion of mothers hand
her eyes nnclosed. She had recovered con-
seriousness, but not speech. She looked at
me, and moved her lips. could not under
stand her words. Mother, MOTHER
shrieked, say only that you forgive me-
She could not say il with her lips but her
hand pressed mine. She smiled upon me,
and lifting her thin white hands, clasped my
own within them, and cast her eyes upward.
She moved her lips in prayer, and thus died.
| remained still kneeling beside that dear
form ill my gentle sister removed me. She
comforted me, for she knew the heavy load
of sorrow at my heart; heavier than grief for
the loss of mother; for il was load of sor-
row for sin. The JOY of youth had left me
forever.
My son, the suffering such memories wake
must continue as long as life. God is merci-
ful but remorse for past misdeeds IS a
canker-worm in the heart that preys upon il
forever
my iather ceased speaking, and buried his
face In his hands. He saw aud felt the bear
ing his narrative had upon my character and
conduct. have never forgotten it. Bows.
who spurn mothers control. who are a.hcu.