Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1853-06-09

YouthfuI child snd ycufhhIl mofheri
Ard he tide rolls on for ever
or hat swim and silent river.
msHsw did you sleep last night' asked
m anxious landlsdy Of . new ledger
lWhy. madam, II the inmates Of yeur
house were only democrats, | should have
.besn taken out Of bed
who Do yeu meant
sThe heas 70 Be sure Unien is strength,
Il maxim they do net appear to under
stand, fer had they been unanimous, they
could easily have carried me of
i was not aware that had single one
in The house, said the lady.
IF, Il don't believe ysu have, retorted the
ledger, they are al married, and have un-
commonly large families
HI ~ A certain member Of Congress from
one Of the Eastern States, was speaking one
day On some important question, and be-
eams very animated, during which sat a
brother member, his opponent on the ques-
ton, very smiling. This annoyed him very
much, and he indignantly demanded why
the gentleman from - was laughing at
him.
II was smiling at yeur manner Of making
monkey faces, sir was the reply
%, / make monkey fsces, do II Well,
cir, you have ne occasion to try the expert
msnt, for nature has saved ysu the trouble
The hammer was distinctly heard amid q
rear sflaughter calling them to order.
~ Chests DO hanged'-there,s no such
thing in nature All laid lew long ago, be-
fsre wooden pavements. What should shey
come fer7 Printers may rise-fer higher
wages and beef and cattle too may rise,
and rents may rise, and the rising genera
tion may rise. But that the dead should
DO fools enough 70 rise, is moro than can
believe! Imagine yourself to be ghost
Well, II ysu Como out Of your grave to
serve friend-how ars yeu to serve him :
And II il il an enemy, what's tae use Of ap-
Fssring 70 him at all if you can't pitch into
hint
~ A clergyman in his early days de-
nied that grammar Or emphasis had any
thing 70 de with pulpit exercises. One day
he found his mistake BY the lsguhing crel.
Ted On reading his text
And he spake 70 his sons, saying, sad.
die ne, the az and they saddled him
M Rap rap rap knocked an hen
est Hiberian the other night, At the ds0r
sfa house III Cherry strsel A might.
cap 81 che Windsw asked, What's the mat
Ter =
Be aisy,' replied Pat, Ct isa't yours, but
year nsighber's house is FIRE, he's NO
kneoker, and I've bOrried yoirs Bit
~ A.ceuDtrY fellow came TO the city 10
Geo his intended wife, and fer long time
-ceuld think Of nothing to say. At last
great snow falling, he tssk occasion 10 tell
her that bis fathers sheep would all be un-
done, a
Well,' said she kindly taking him BY
ths1tand. sI'll keep one Of them -
~ jamie, says enc henesI Irishman
te ansther, the first time he saw losouas-
Awe, What is that snsrtisg basti'
Suro,' replied Jamie, Il don't know at
Al, unless i is . steamboat splurging alsng
70 get to Wathef'
~ There is great differences betwixt
tnsviug Of things and knowing Of persons
II isA quaint piece Of philosoPhy 20 discern
lhs minds and humess Of men the kaoWl.
sdee Il persons teaching men to play their
cards the better, and - perform business
viii mere dextsrity.
~ A lady sent for doctor, in great
trouble TO say she had I frightful dream,
md saw her Grandmother.
What did you eat at supper, madam y
A minee pie, doctor
lHad you eaten two, madam, you wsuld
have seen your grandfasher.'
20, doctor r said an elderly lady,
recently, to Dsctsf h, the bone sets
tel, in describing the effect 81 . deceased
spine, can neither lay nor set
Ia ihat case replied he, Il should re.
commend che propristy Of rooaing
n Staggsrs, the indsfatigable joker Of
Cambridge Chronicle, inquiries, why q
Asrss passing thrsughs gate resembles .
esatr Whsreupon Squsgs replies that IFS
ell ewing 10 the tail being On enc side and
ths head on tbs other.
~ Boy, uhahis Jour nanel'
Robert, sir, -
sYe., that IS your Christian name, but
What i ysur ether name =
Bob, sis.'
r. WIN ysu take pinch Of snuff. Nm.
scrigeinsf
No Thank yeu; il my nose vas inten.
ded for dusthols, il would have been turn.
q ths ether side up
~ What part Of the science Of n.y;e,.
~.
asa should : railroad cenductorof the pres
snt dag understand ? uhy. ke sbo1ld fnev
hsv % keep The dead .reckoping, ~
oonr1o. :.
~ A fsllou Who had b.., h.al.s -,
unruly Gov, Eupsd ID 81 81. y =
~ se.s - appeared t. be intoxica-
Yes, said her beaux. i. h..h
8 couple q hernia - ,AH'ng
" = young Hidsu was asksi IN n.
uls going . tlke smother Husband :. - ~. soe
6lIsf he 1s.ih q her FIRST "a r zen
-. Dc tito prevent ffestinr n = 49,, !.
l1,Ik. - s>cennl u dear Ton.F =
- That's ut4t call ! isir sb.k,. :.
~ I.Ii1.;s squatltr said when be skosr
~ |1,rr'I q Nii. he lgHe.
.- C1i ID straps ana let 10 70 1,
|'|-/. = Dew. r., exclaimed uhe1 hS tool
-4,A.L ays ~, he be,i ray d snri
11'@ S,.'g ~. y te'ited|y 70 bfi1al bin
49, - 1. ~