The Ohio organ, of the temperance reform. (Cincinnati, [Ohio]) 1853-1854, 1853-12-09


plumpnes and 5odness dimpling al
oEsf hef iacs n les ne see il /; and she
leaned over Smiths shoulder, pressing
her arm upon his own as she looked At
the parchment But 81 at once Sriith's
visage grewAlong. Smiths wife's sieageI
grew black Smith was not prOfane, but
now he ripped out an awful oath; Blast
t,wife, these iaieInal scoundrels at Tren-
ION have gone and divorced usw It was
too true the parchment which he held
was bill Of divorce, in which the name
Rof Smith and Smiths wife appeared in
frightfully legible letters.
Mira Smith wiped her eyes with the
corner Of her apron. "Here's tumpike~
she said sadly, "and with the whole Of
our ten children staring me In the face, !
amt your wife Here's a turnpikew "
uBlast the pike and the legislature,
and--.p Well, the fact is that Smith,
reduced to single blessedness, and ten
acted'' into a stranger 10 his own wife,
swore awfully, Although the night was
dark, and most of the denizens of Smiths
village had gone to bed, Smith bid his
late wife put on her bonnet, and arm in
arm they proceeded to the house of the
clergyman of their church.
H Goodness bless me p' exclaimed the
mild, good man, as he saw them enter,
H Smith looking like the veryla last Of June
shad, and Smiths wife wiping her eyes
with the corner of her apron--"Goodness
bless me, what's the matteEW
"The matter is, ! want you 10 marry us
\ two right off p replied Smith.
MARY you?" calculated the clergy
man, with expanded fingers and awful
eyes, care you drunk or CrazyP e
| 81 aint crazy, and wish was drunk, 2
said Smith, desperately; "ihe fact is,
brother Goodwin, that some scoundrels
at Trenton, unbeknown to me, and at
dead Of night, have gone and divorced
me from my own wife; she is the mo.
ther of-o-nine children !"
ssTen," suggested Mrs Smith, who
was crying. "Here's turnpike p
Well, the good minister seeing the
state of the case (the Trenton parchment
was duly produced from the pocket Of
the lugubrious Smith) married them over
straight-way, and would not take fee.
The fact is, grave as be was, he was
dying to be alone, so that he could give
vent to a suppressed laugh, which was
shakiRg him all over; and Smith and
Smiths wife went joyfully home and
kissed every one of their ten children
The little Smiths never knew that theiI
father and mother had been made stran
gers to each other by legislative enact
nent.
Meanwhile, and on the self same
night, Jones returned to his native town
Burlington, believe-and sought al
once the fine pair of black eyes which
he hoped shortly to call his own. The
pretty widow sat on the sofa, white
'kerchief tied carelessly about her round
white throat, her black hair laid in silky
waves against each rosy cheek.
"Divorce is the word" cried Jones'
playfully patting her double chin. "The
fact is, Eliza, I'm rid of that cursed wo-
man, and you and I'll be married to-
night. know how 10 manage those
scoundrels at Trenton. A champaign
supper Cor was it breakfast y did the
business for them. Put on your bonnet
and let us go to the preachers at once,
dearest g
The widow (who was among widows
as peaches are among apples), put on
her bonnet and took Jones' arm, and >
'Just look how handsome it is put on
Parchment cried Jones, pulling out the
document before her. "Here's the law
which says that Jacob Jones and Anna
Caroline Jones are two! Look at It'll
Putting her plump, gloved hand on his
shoulder, she did look al it. alugi
| 30 dearp' she said, with her rosebud
| lips, and sank back, half fainting, on the
sofa. ... ~......
20 blazes W cried Jones, and sank be-
side her, rustling the fatal parchment il
his hand "Here's lots Of happiness anC
champaign gone 10 ruin"
i 1t was hard case. Instead OF being
divorced and at liberty to marry th'
widow, Jacob Jones was simply, by thC
Legislature Of New Jersey, incorporates
into turnpike company, and what madl
/ ii worse, authorized with his brother di
rectors, TO construct a turnpike from Bur
{ II linohou IN Rr;st 4