The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1853-08-11
Guarded Secrets.

IS not to the possession of guarded secret
School girls have their cherished mysteries
: but these pass from mouth to mouth till
:. like the witches at seventh hand, all thei
: magic dies out. 1t is not of such W.
: would speak, but of that sterner and more
stubborn secret which is the life in life
which occupies the souls inner and most
secret chamber, and is the hearts holy Of
holies; JOY, or dread, or pang-
most commonly the last-through life;
thing that weaves itself, with more OF
less intensity, into every act of our daily
struggle on earth.
My grandmother had an old-fashioned
cabinet, portioned out, as was the meth
cd of constructing such commodities in
her day, into sundry small shelves,
drawers, aud old-covercd boxes. The
centre compartment of this same old
chest opened like door, having lock and
key, and within was long sliding drawer,
occupying the entire depth of the cabi-
net. That in this drawer something
very precious was stored, all her children
knew. None, however, dared pry into
their mothers guarded secret Her hus-
band, it was more than suspected, could
kave thrown some light on the matter; but
he was never known to do so, and silence
rested upon the unknown occupant of
the drawer; the mystery remaining q
mystery up to the day of my good grand
mothers death.
The contents of the secret drawer were
committed to the flames, in accordance
with the expressed wish of the dying
But somehow or other the secret oozed
out. 1t would appear that, like most
other grandmothers, mine had early in
life had love -affair-as that deepest
striking of all woman's experiences, is
somewhat irreverently termed. 1t was the
old story; the man she loved went abroad
without having spoken just that one word
for which her soul thirSted, and which,
nevertheless, had found o thousand other
utterances scarcely to be mistaken. For
years, there was dreary silence between
the two. Then came my grandfather
with his earnest court-ship. Under the
feeling that she was not justified in
cherishing prediction SO apparently
unresponded to by the earlist object of
her affection, she yielded, after prolong
ed struggle, to my grandfather's suit
No sooner, however, was she formally
engaged to him, than there came letter
in the old, unforgotten hand writing -
Oh, you who have listened with beating
hearts for the postman's knock, fully
prepared for all it might bring, think,
for one moment how the coming of this
letter, long even unhoped for, and now too
late, knocked at the heart of her who re-
ceived it! Now, my grandmother had a
conscience, and more than commonly
tender one. Her first impulse, of course,
was to tear open the letter; but second
thought stayed her hand. She had long
ago made the fact of this early attach
ment known to my grandfather. What
she now did then, was at once to tell
him she had received such letter, and
that, as his affianced wife, she could not
and would not read it. Was she fantastic
in her notions of right and wrong! do
not believe so; do not think she could
have done better or wiser thing. Out
of her act no suffering could possibly fall
upon the man to whom she was pied ged,
and whose happiness was henceforth in
her keeping, though much of pain bore
heavily upon her. That letter, with its
unkroken seal, lay, all her life, shut up
in the old musty cabinet, where it stood
revealed at last. That acting up to the
truest spirit of her intention, she fought
long and victoriously against the desire
to fathom what those hidden characters
contained-whether or not they bore that
assurance of love which would once have
been Joy unutterable-we are bound to
believe. Upon one solitary occasion a.
lone was she ever seen to wrestle with
her temptation. After meek endurance
of one of my grandfather's fits of passion
for he had stormy temper-she was
found seated, weeping bitterly, before the
open door of that guarded chest wherein
lay the unbroken seal.
I Solemn as such subjects must be, and
are, there is blessed comfort in the tbo't
of them. 1t is gracious thing to feel
that there is something, be it what it may,
of real truth-of lasting good; something
which neither time, nor trial, nor the
common wear and tear of actual, dull,