Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-01-07
SCISSORS AND PASTE.

SCISSORS AND PASTE.
p9 Mrs. Sourby says she has nothing
to object to her late husband, except that
he was "tediously long in his last sickness"
Sympathizing SOUL"
B@ The wives along the Mississippi
River hardly ever elbow up" their hus-
bands. They always leave that to the
steamboats, to do.
W If you would not be forgotten as
soon as you are dead, either write some
thing worth reading, or do something worth
writing.
B8 Why are an hundred and sixty
square rods like decayed tooth?
| Because it is an aker. "Let go my hair,
Bill JONES'
B9 Starch up, brush your whiskers,
dress fashionable, and lay in plentiful
| supply Of soft nonsense, and the girls will
call you nice young man.
B9r Mrs. Chisholm says the best time
to choose a wife is early in the morning.
! If a young lady is at all is inclined to sulks
and slatterliness, it is just before break
fast. As a general thing, woman don't
s'get on her temper" till after 10 AM.
''Say, Joe, when you served in Mexico,
wasn't you very ambitious ?"
"Well, yes-rather so 4! why?"
because when your company had to
kill those Donkeys for provisions, thought
you INDUCED in great ass-pie-ratiens "'
gzT A young lady-a sensible girl
gives the following catalogue of different
kinds of love:-''The sweetest mothers
love; the longest-a brothers love; the
strongest-a woman's love; the Dearest
mans love; and the sweetest, longest,
strongest, and dearest love-sa love of
bonnet"
BzY@ There is one advantage in marrying
a widow, and that is, you commonly get
ready made family along with her. 1t is
great thing to be called "Pa," under any
circumstances; but to be thus honored on
the first day of your marriage, is to taste
in spring the full fruition of the autumnal
months.
Bag Madame" said old Roger to his
clearinghouse keeper, "in primitive coun-
tries beef is often legal tender; but mad
am," said he emphatically thrusting his fork
into the steak, call the law in Christendom
couldn't make this beef tender" He looked
around the board for encouragement, and
| found that all the boarders who ate the beef
held their jaws.
B9 A long nose affords good handle
for ridicule. The man that's cup to snuff"
therefore, will avoid them By the way,
talking of noses, what a queer one that must
have been which Solomon informs us was
like "the tower of Lebanon, looking towards
Damascus. To have blown such nose
must have required gale of wind, and no.
thing shorter.
B9~ Why is woman hunting for the
bellows like man "shinning" around after
money?
Because she is trying to ssraise the wind"
The young man who perpetrated this, was
last seen when his friends lost sight of him.
If any person has seen him since, they will
please buy blunderbuss and report.
m A huge bunch of whiskers and NOUS
tache, entirely concealing the mouth from
light, never appear to greater disadvantage
than at table where their owner seems to
De probing among the hair with fork to
lind the orifice with which nature provided
him for the receptacle of food. These for
ests Of hair upon the face are prone to give
one an idea that their growth is more cult
waited than the contents of their upper stories.
g6Dr. Johnson once dined with Scot
fish lady, who had hotch for dinner. AT.
ter the doctor had tasted it, she asked him
| IF II voo o,aJ