Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-12-17
v A r I e r Y.

in public, and s'you brute " in private.
A Man in Burlington advertises, ''hams an
cigars, smoked and unsmoked, for sale.''
"Come dwell with me- as the shark sal,
: when he swallowed the sailor.
The onion, it is said, destroys the attractiv
; property Of the magnet. 1t has the same effec
with young ladies'
We take infinitely more pains in striving t.
appear happy, than in endeavouring to be
come so.
Great memories are like standing ponds tina
are made with rain; so that memory is nothing
but the showers of other mems wits.
A SAD PREDIcAMENT.-A girl in rain-storm
with nothing to protect her new bonnet but q
white handkerchief.
BED.-An article in which we sleep and pass
a happy part Of our lives, and yet one which we
never wish to keep.
A CRusHER IN GRA1N.-Machinist: Do you
bruise your oats, sir? Agriculturist: No, sir
l brews my barley.
A Yankee has invented machine, which will
! churn, pound clothes and pump water, and when
| complete, will milk the COW. get tea and whip
| the children
A man lately put his dog to bed and kicked
himself down stairs he did not discover his
mistake until next morning.
! At Cork, bill-sticker, recently in posting
some bills relating to purgatory, stuck one over
a railway announcement, which at little dis
tance read. Reduced Fares to Purgatory.
! We find it difficult to think well Of those by
| whom we are thwarted or depressed; and we
| are ready to admit every excuse for the vices of
| those who are useful or agreeable to us.
| FRIENDLY ADvIcE.-Never lend an umbrella,
or your name to bill; the chanches are that
| the one will not be returned and that the other
will.
Most women would rather have any of their
good qualities sighted than their beauty; yet
beauty is the most inconsiderable accomplish
ment Of a woman Of real merit.
We have read somewhere, of great man who
advised his friends never to take advice-de-
claring that he never went wrong but once,
and that was when he followed another mans
counsel.
The latest mode Of sspopping the question -
is to do it with kind of laugh as if you were
joking If the girl accepts you, enough said if
she does not, you can say you were ''only
in fun"
Il am glad you are going to stay here to tea
this afternoon" said little boy to lady visitor
of his maternal parent. "Why SO, my boy ?''
"Cause we always get hot cakes when there's
company to tea"
There exists in some parts Of Germany law
to prevent drinking during divine service. It
runs thus -" Any person drinking in an ale
house during divine service on Sunday, or other
holaday, may legally depart without paying"
B-E-A-U-T--F-u-L!-s The large double en-
CINE in our Crystal Palace" says the bachelor
editor Of q New York paper, tsoperates ad-
mirably, moving in its monstrous powers with
barely the sound Of the softest kiss!''
A blithe heart makes blooming visage.
True; but it won't do to suppose that every
blooming visage comes from jolly condition of
the heart The cause sometimes lies deeper
than that.
The following questions have recently been
asked Where are ships 6roadsides printed
Do ships wear rigs after they have been scudding
under bare poles2 Are shipsin difficult position
when they get into the straitss Are oxen en-
ployed in what is called the bul-carks2
.My dear fellow" said Beau Hickman to a
waiter at an hotel, II have respect for flies
indeed, may say am fond Of aies-but like
to have them and my milk in separate glasses;
you mix so much better when you have control
Of both ingredients"
A FIT OF DESPERATION A young man at
Niagara, having been crossed in love, walked
out to the precipe, took off his Clothes gave one
lingering look at the gulf beneath him, and then
went-home! His body was found next morn
ing in bed.
Two friends were dining together, one Of whom
remarked-sAs I am going abroad have made
my will, and have bequeathed to you my whole |
stock Of impudence. The other replied: sYou |
are very generous, as well as kind You have |
left me by far the largest portion Of your estate p!
Following up Swift's idea that all things are |
governed by the word led, it may be said that |
letter and an old sailor are seaLed-a young
lover and bad politician are misled-penniless |
dandies and pretty women are tickled- little
girls and cabbages are boiled sd-while gentlemen
selecting wives, like oysters and onions, salmon
md sour krout, little cucumbers, &c., are pick
led for certain.
A TIME Poor BEAurY.-Mrs. Flowerslale had
been pretty girl, and was pretty woman
,till, when, after long absence, Captain Spark
er, of the Guards, called upon her. g What an
age since we nett" she exclaimed, rs he entered
: Twelve years" replied the gallant soldier,
: oy the almanac, but only yesterday by your
ooks The lady was more convinced than
,ver that !" none but the brave deserve the fair
Children like dogs, have so sharp and fine
cent, that they detect and hunt out everything
the bad before all the rest They also know
Eell enough how this or that friend stands with
heir parents; and as they practice no dissimu-
alton whatever, they serve as excellent baro-
meters by which to observe the degree Of favor
r disfavor at which We stand with their parents.
A curious fact is thus told in one Of our ex-
hange papers: "Take string that will reach
vice around the neck Of . lady-let her hold
hop rl : AZ. /
oose viii sliAever her head to the back of the
eek It is . certain indication that she is mar
led or ought to be" Now don't strangie yous-
elves young ladies' in testing this truth.
VERY PLAIN You've LAD1, LoourruR.-Nov.
y dear-a-hem-how is it that You look so de- !.
este and fairy-like, when for the life of me I
antf Delicateyounglady: Well Anna Maria. E
fter : great deal Of experimenting, Ihave found
ut that eating slate-pencils, and drinking
lnsgar, combined with tight -lacing, sitting up {
ate ct night and several nf1er ftinr. Tb.,.a