The Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn. Territory) 1849-1855, 1853-09-29
The Comet.-.Look Out for Breakers.


Professor J. w. Jewet. Of North Carolina, has
mads some calculations by which he satisfied himsef
the comet would come in collision with some Of the
Planets, con or before the 18th inst, and we feel
much regret that knew nothing Of the matter until
after the period for this melancholy catastrophe"
We lost all the excitement consequent on watching
for this sublime scene. II il had happened, only
think Of the people OF Minnesota for want Of early
notice, being deharred the pleasure Of seeing the
ct stalking boldly up to old Mars, and kicking him
few millions Of miles out Of his regular track MARS
in return would have fallen Venus, and given her
such pel,ing would have made her think she was
in the middle OF next week-and indeed The whole
planetary system might have got into chaotic
jumble, the tail Of The Comet nigh, have BACKED
both eyes Of the man 10 the moon-might have
Knocked the wig of Of old Herchel, upset the Big
and Little Bear, or broke the handle of the Ladle
and be none the wiser. In fact we might
have missed a very rich scene, one that would
have, for time, at least, dispelled the mono
tory Of the present political canvass in and about our
Territory.
We see notices Of I" terrible collisions" on a small
scale between steamers, alroad cars and such small
affairs which of no sort of consequence whatever
compared with this Comet which the Professor says
s 100 600 miles in diameter, and travels at the rate
Of so 900 miles minute. When it does strike, there
will be collision " what is a collision." The New
York Times thinks it is possible that Professor Jew
ct may have made slight mistake in his calculations
Now, suppose a mistake Of month was made, and
the affair should come off about the time Of our cleo.
ton, in Octobcr-and the world should be destroyed
before the result is ascertained, would it not be very
annoying!
The Times, speaking of the probability that it may
knock us into Pr yet, says" Everybody and his re-
latons would be terribly shook up and annhated
There is way Of avoiding itexcept one, and that
is promiscuous and general downing. That Comets
only deceived by retiring from our view for few
DAYS. 1t only went off rest while. It's coming
back with renewed vigor. The newspapers have
been poking fun ut it until it has become riled and
now it's going to pitch right into You might as
well st ready for the worst. Show your nerve, by
contemplating the approaching thump with calmncss
Make your wills, you who have anything to make
them Of visit all your poor relations and friends,
and promise them all sorts of aid and comfort: you
may just well do it as not X won :, cost YOU any
thing--for you'll all go together. You had better do
something creditabie, soon as possibIe--for the
Comets coming, with head erect, and tail sticking
straigh, on, behind, the rate of 80, 900 miles
minute; and there's telling what minute you may
| get trema ndous whack some where"
Our readers may rest easy the subject, however;
they shall know all about it, through the Pioneer, il
the affair is to off We have put ourselves in
immediate correspondence with Professor Jewe, and
he will keep apprsed of the whole progress of the
affair, will know the reason why. We &C.
knowledge the Professor epdea vored to re; Oh this
collision without letting us know ANYTHING about i,
but he could succeed, aud he will not succeed in
doing anything OF the kind without our know ledge
! The attempt to get mp a collision between Comet
and any OF the Planets for he benefit of the States
without allowing the Territories, and particularly
Minnesota, TO participate in the fun, vii. never lie
quietly submitted to, while we conduct Democratic
Journal