Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1853-04-20
was wonderful. 1t was wonderful to find out that


she could figure as a city lady 1t was wonderful
to see how much her husband knew about every
thing, and how careful he was to make things hap
pen to suit her. Her old rights friends visited and
argued, and she said "of course" They talked
of her ssmission," and she said she was "going to
attend to it, but it was continually slipping away
from her thoughts. At length marked and i'm
pressive convention was to be held where all wo-
men who have the rights should make a demon
stration, and show the world that the cause was
onward. Mrs. Ferguson was really a little re-
morseful. She had neglected the cause. It was
certainly her duty to be present and bear sh are
of the "Iabors and responsibilities of the move
ment. She owed it to her position, to her friends
and to the sex. gs.s.s.s.s
'sI'll tell you what, Jenny said Mr. Ferguson
ID regard you as rather an extraordinary wo-
man." ~.-- ~
Jenny did not seem to be angry. s2-
:" You do seem to me to be very much of a la
dy,' says Dan-''I always thought you was, and
and now knowit. I took you up Broadway last
summer on purpose for comparisons, and there
was nothing in sight that would swap you for .
This did not seem to be relavant to the subject
but Jenny did not raise her points of order as
promptly as she had formerly done in convention.
She had relaxed the rigors of parliamentary law,
and consented to personal explanations.
s'Jenny," says Dan, "you are fine woman and
no mistake, and that's fine baby. don't exact
ly want to take you to that cattle show and put
you into the pen with ordinary critters"
Jenny's eyes opened very wide.
These women," says Dan, "who are troubled
with rights don't amount to much no how They
don't show well in the ring. They are spawned,
foundered, got the heaves, something else,
or they wouldn't be there. You are the only sale
able article ever saw among them, and do
think you belong to different set.''
Jenny said something about womans mission.
Well ~ said Dan, II don't think you took
woman's mission in the natural way. You were
inocculated for it, and had it but hope you won't
have it again. l think you will get over it. It
did not strike in. Now, Jenny, let us go to the
convention. You shall do the mission if you
please, but I'll be hanged if don't believe you
will disown it. You are wicked creature, just
fit for reprobate like me and that little rascal
kicking in the cradle. I'll stand by you, Jenny,
mission OF no mission
Jenny went to the convention, but it did not
seem as formerly. She found herself inclined to
modify resolutions that were offered, and to make
exceptions to sweeping clauses; and her sisters in
the cause noticed in not fattering terms, change
in the views of sister Ferguson. Jenny was re-
ally not happy there. When she asked Dan how
he liked it, he said, "Oh, very well very well +!
it's only bore, a confounded bore. That is to
say, it's ridiculous, that's all.''
But" said Jenny, deprecatingly, ':may it not
be the duty of woman occasionally to do ridicu-
lous things in vindication of the rights of her
sex ?''
Certainly, said Dan, sit is one Of woman's
rights to be ridiculous, if she pleases that is to
say. if she has mission to be ridiculous
This unexpected turn of conversation set them
both to laughing, and Dan wound up the eonver-
saton by stating it to be his impression and belief
that Jenny had no natural aptness at being ridic-
ulous. Jenny wanted to know, how in that case
he had happened to take a fancy to her when she
was doing mission ? Dan said he did not take
any fancy, it took itself.
Ferguson soon after their arrival home, present
ed Jenny with silver tea set, and Jenny, in va
rious domestic and social pleasures, before the
next convention, lost sight of her rights entire
ly.
1t was soon rumored that Mrs Ferguson, whose
case had been supposed incorrigible, had been
cured; and many husbands whose wives af-
ficted with rights, tried to find out Dams mode of
cure. Dan did not choose to say much about the
matter, but one day after being good deal ques-
toned and bantered by number of men, he Of
fered them cigars and took one himself, and when
the smoke had ascended Gin cycles and epicy-
c1es," until the true smokers elysium had been
produced he threw out an extra cloud with twist
knowa only to ornamental smokers, and thus he
spake-
You see, gentlemen, it all depends upon the
saccharine principle
They inquired what he meant by saccharine
principle! -
IS You see, gentlemen, Jenny had the saccha-
rine principle. A woman can't be cured unless she
has the saccharine principle. The rights are what
the doctors call a "morbid secretion. 1t is most
apt to happen to old maids and widows; but some
wives whose husbands don't know how to break
them in, have this disease awfully. 1t requires
constitutional treatment. If the saccharine prin-
ciple has been grieved away, or if they never has
it, in such cases the rights no more be cured
than scrofula. But when good deal of the sac
charine principle is in woman, little help from
one who understands the disease, will enable her
constitution to throw it off, and she will become
as healthy and good as new. 1t all depends on
| the saccharne principle.''
| This is all he would tell them.
Speaking of bores, we can scarcely imagine
one capable of ofn1icting more twisting misery thar