The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1853-10-26
A RICH SERMON.
BY OLD HUNDRED.

b1 OLD aUNDREDs
My dear dandies and bellies, fops and
flirts, loafers and other stragglers down
the hill Of life, my text o-day is that so
much used and often abused SAYING: e,s
sDoes your mother know you're QUIZ"
Poor, silly, infatuated grub.worms. /
would say for your shines and capers, that
she don't know you are out. You, young
lady. with a parasol like a wilted cabbag.
leaf on aramrod, ,.and chains of hair down
each cheeks, like boit.e.tinted spider
dipped in blacking had been making his
everlasting elopement over your rough col
ored face, leaving a broad trail after him:
and on your back peck of bran, and
your mincing gait like you were picking
your way among rotten eggs, or was bare
footed in a briar patch, and your arm
linked to brainless dandy. {but [ II come
to him as soon as am done with you.)
wriggling along the street. to hunt up in
digent virtue or suffering innocence, to
pour balrr on the wounded spirit ofpover.
ty, or only TO sheer your own giddys heart
with the corroding grease ofyas.i.y, tchear
fools whisper as You pass, sWhat fair
girl." Remember, vain one, beauty is
only skin deep; ard the storms Of matri
mony and the bleak winds Of affliciion rubs
it all out and leaves the countenance as
unbecoming as a weather beaten barn
door, unless you put on coat OF ever
lasting meekness, worth and love under
the yarnish of beauty. If you can laugh
like him who wins, and know that you are
still loved and lovely, and that You are
still beautiful, now that the glass which
hid your worth and goodness beneath its
dazzling glare, is gone. you shed happy
influence on all near, you make US poor
mortals feel justlike man almost frozen
feels when he sets down to a cheerful fire
al his own home. He hears the storm, but
heeds it not; he is happy once more. Blu,
have you done this? am afraid you are
butterfly, born woman, to die an in.
sect. ~ ~ h34
All! don't half like that laugh, it was
forced. you pretend to be pleased with that
fools wit when you know it was stolen!-
Oh. why such deceit. giddy, fut,ering
worm OF the cabbage plant. you are sold.
soul and body, for little empty, windy.
, :, ;,,:-Aless adulatlon; yes, sold to that snake
with the fish ,1.cnk on his tail. the snake
that fooled your mamma in adam Truck
patch-and oh, scissors! how he will str,r
that finery and raise dust for mile a.
round. with that peck Of bran. Say, flow
er sucking butterfly. does your mother
know you are out? If she does she is un-
faithful to her trust. and ought not to be
trusted again, any more than the man
who stole acorns from the blind sow; go
home, gossamar, and try to prepare your
self TO be a woman. and then when you
are abroad, any body will know that your
mother knows you're out.
| Now, you that was cut out for man. but
was so villainously spoiled in making up,
| III attend to your case.
| For what end did you burst open the
worlds door and rush in uncalled, like a
man chased by mad bull, what good do
you expect to bestow on your fellow mani
some useful invention, some heroic act.
some great discovery, or even one solitary
remark? No. those who look for anything
good or useful from you will be just as
badly fooled as the man who caught the
skunk, thinking it was kitten; or the
woman when she made greens out Of gun
powder tea.
You know where the neatest, tightesi
pants can be bought on ''tick," but you
don't know where the next useful lecture
is to be delivered; you know the fashion.
able color of a vest, but you never studied
the gorgeous hues of the rainbow, unless
it was to wish for piece TO make era
vat of; you know how fool feels in full
dress, but you don't know how man feels
who eats the bread earned honestly by the
sweat of his brow; you know how mon
key looks, for you see one every day TWEEN
|ty times. in your landlady Is looking glass
but you don't know how man ieels af
ter good action; you don'tgo where tina
sight is to be seen. Oh, you wasp-waist
ed, catfish mouthed, bahoon- -shouldered
calliper.legged, goose.eyed. sheep-faced
bewhiskered drones in the world bee
.hiyel what are you good tori Nothing bu
Ito ciaeat your tailor, neatly lisp BY note 1
Iins from splnp milk and cider poets senli
lmentality, III ofstefs very grassly ssaoka
oigsrs hzIly aseks ~ gills eus sshe 100
go q e