Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1853-02-16


dent uponmy cold and naughty father-in.law,
/ became desperate. If had ever had the
gentle Christening of a mothers love, it might
have been different with me but my wild
passions overwhelmed me with reckless rage,
and resorted to the dram shop. For two
weeks l did not draw a sober breath. / was
sick-almost dead-but a good physician
cured me-, counseled me, stained down my
wild passion, infused some reason into me,
and as soon as | was able to ride / set off to
return to mylwife, with not more than two
hundred dollars remaining from the wreck
of my fortune. Thus had a few DAYS reduced
me from wealth to poverty, from happiness
to misery, and covered the hitherto bright
skies Of the future with dark and impanotra-
BILE clouds.
bad news travels apace," and not only
the news Of the loss of nay fortune, but that
of my drunkness also had preceded me. On
arriving at my father-in-law's the old man
met me with a stern repuls;ye air but my
wife embraced me tenderly and wept bitterly
upon my bosom. He aroused the smothered
fires of hell in my heart too wild and uncon-
trolable for her gentleneSs and affection to al
lay them.
Here the voice Of my companion grew
husky and tears gathered in his eyes. [ deep
ly s~ympathized with him. His emotion con-
tinued but a moment, and passing his hand
across his brow he proceeded sadly :
l might then have been reclaimed. Had
that Oldham met me kindly, welcomed me back
and spoke encouragingly to me, | should
have rallied from my dependency, exerted
my energies, and in time retrieved my for
tune. But | had a proud spirit, now power
less, and dependent On him, and his conduct
made me eckless-desperate The soft and
soothing tones OF my wife could not pluck
the sting from my heart, nor smooth the as
perity of my feelings. My soul was one sea
Of hate, of stubborn pride; and in my desire
for revenge | took the very course best cal
culated to insure my own ruin. Blinded by
madness, with reason obscured, without any
definite aim, l again resorted to the tipping
shop. Partly to seek oblivion, partly with a
vague idea that my disgrace would be reaec-
ted upon that proud old man and some degree
Of revenge be accomplished, I plunged into
dissipation. One moments reflection would
have convinced me of my error-would have
told me was ringing the heart Of her who
alone was disposed to cheer me up and en-
courage me but | was incapable Of refec
ton. My pride was wounded, my indigna
ton assumed the type OF madness, and I q
dOpted the course best calculated-not to hea
my wounded spirit, not to humble my haugh
ty father-in-law, but-to insure my own DIES
~truction and to grieve the only being on earti
that was my friend.
| knew the cause of the old mans hostilit-
| to me. He had thought me rich and hal
given me his daughter but now he discov
cred that he had been disappointed. lie di
5 not reflect that it was not my fault, and tina
| had not deceived him. Wealth was his god
and he cared for nothing else and when h
IL found my wealth had flown, he was embittel
A ed against me. The reflection that he ha
married his daughter to a poor man preye
IS upon him and maddened him. lie regarde
it as a humiliation to his family pride. Tho
y innocent, | was doomed to be the object {
<. his anger. Still his conduct towards me di
2 not justify me in my course. lie acted III
;e justly towards me, but I acted with create
Of injustice towards myself.
If A few days passed away and | proposed
take my wife to our former home. NY fail
n er-in-law objected, and informed that | ha
le no home-that he revoked the gift of bot
ID land and negroes. Words multiplied wore
= until we both became enraged, and he orde
ar ed me to leave his house and never return
N Maddened, intoxicated, | ree1ed away, mouI
id ted my horse androde to q neighboring gro;
ID shop. Here [ caroused for several days, b.
v finally went to Charlotte. Friends and re
it. atives reasoned with me, warned me, tried
I'd save mo; but | plunged into excuses, drin
he ing andsgambling till | had not a dollar lei
he The downward career of dissipation is "a
of id, and [ sank with accelerated velocity, 10,
I'd or and lower, until | became an outcast,
of worthless sot, living, neither | nor any OF
ut else knew how. Some friends still had son
he regard for me, and would take me from t
tn bitches to their houses and take care Of L
M until | grew sober, when | would again
turn to the tipping shop and drown the SO
nd In drunkenness. All, my friend, drunke
ad ness, the thirst for strong drink, is a speci
| of insanity. had no thought, no desire d
= tinct from the liquidfre. Ineycr thought
lr- the consequences-neyer reflected. / was
ed capable of doing so.
But [ will not dwell longer here. I SHIT
Mt, der to recall those days but | commenc
| to tell you my whole story, and | will do
nd. and when l conclude will tell you whyI
nd so at this particular time. 1t has been ma
Ike years since l last told it to any one, and n
put err before to a stranger.