Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1853-11-03
VARIETY.

one sunday that II they would propose
texE for him to preact uptn, be Wsuld do
~fhsm much mere good tbal'by selecting his
san. After waiting awhile fer some answer,
young man in the baek part Of the kouss
arose and said
5.Ysu know We read in the bible that Neb-
uchadnezzar ate grass
sCertainly--what do you wish to have ex-
planned in regard to that passageP
sOh,' snid tbs fellow, kinder want to
know hsw much they axed him week fer
pasture,
sErA stroke Of wit, accompanied bya
delicacy Of insult, was plaid ofby lady
who was engaged shortly to be married.
The intended bridegroom, seeing her talk
ing for considerable time, and with appar.
snt pleasure, to another gentleman, said to
her
II win be resenged for your infdelity, and
show the letters which you have written me-
> De- replied the lady; 4 have nothing to
blush for except the direction
AN EAsTERs LOVE LETTER. Deer-I
send bi tie puoy buket Of feurs.-
They is like mi lny for u The mite shaid
menes kepe dark, sThc dog fenil menes l
an ure slaiY.
Roks red and posts pail
My laE for shall neyur phale'
a gentleman passing through . po-
toto patch observed an Irishman planting
some potatoes He, inquired Of him what
kind be had there 4 "RaEones, to be sure"
replied the son of Erin; 'sif they were brsil.
ed ones, they wouldn't grow"
-Fanny Fern says, that when be who
Is striving to rise in the world begins to ex.
hieit superior powers and the possession Of
true genius, he must hide his light under .
bushel, or else have al creation after him,
| ttSibg 10 blow i. out
s--44-0ur jim, il answer to the question
aWhat is woman ~ says, mechanically speak,
ing, . woman is one hundred pounds Of flesh
and blood, two pounds of wfafebone, with
an indefnite amount of fuss and Fathers
Jim is good lawyer, but no judge Of NO
man.
An old lady objected to giving her son
. collegiate education after learning that
'sprofane history" was one study
She is sister to the lady who would net
send her daughterto school because Ahe
master wanted her 10 study aTulgar frae-
tons,
ErThe pimples on toper's face are an
ofa.fashiened sort)of spiritual manifesto
tions.l They cannot DO said to come exact
II frsm beyond the grave but they show
clearly that the medium is marrying him
self tewardssit
r1-Tke other day vag saw lady fixing
q nondescript article Of dress, and making
some disturbance, be was asked
~ L. AL
!. Nothing only lady is raising . bustle.'
vas the reply.
-aWhy, doctor" said . sick lady,
':you give me the same medicine you are Civ.
ing my husband is that rightf
IAN right" replied the doctor, "what is
sauce for the groost is sauce for the gander."
II FLEE Pa tss--It Ex presses truth
--RE-presses error I'm presses knowledge
lad oP,presses 1ndnc.
We thought j. too good to be suppressed, ).
and therefore publish it.
Dine Of the high courts in Ireland
has just decided that Nun is net dead in
law. Dobbs, who has kissed several others,
says athey are not aead.any. way" Byron
was Of the same petsuatisn
There are Fo things which every.
body should o--mirry early, and keep your
life insured One keeps misery from your
SELF, aad the other from your wife and chill
drsn.
A Golden Rule fer young lady isto con.
verse always with your female friends as if
gentleman we're one OF the party aud with
young men as if your female companions
were present
b2pThe Cleveland Herald addresses this
90 Old bachelors sd If our maker thought il
wrong for Adam toIlive single when there
was not d uelnan on the earth, how criminal
IL guilty sre cid bachelors, with the werld
full Of pretty girls
EsrIf yoa want your talents appreciated,
Get richs Poverty il like afreg Surround
ed BY its dampness, farthing rush-light
makes just as much shine - full blown
sun
HFAsclcrgyman, being complained ofby
another for drawing away his Pensioners
On Sunday, made this reply
Feed ysur flock better, and they won't
stray
H-sLpi us remove temptation from the
ratk 81 youth, Is tie freq said to his Gem
ranions, planging i4to the water, when be
saw boy picking uB stone.
ErA late visitsrtS Cuba divided the IN
habinnts into two classes, Que Of which
makes living By notwithstanding cigars, aud
the ether BY smoking them,
nFDobhs says Cape Horn is % called
because the frst nan that doubled j, vas
draak al the way around.
~ Mrs Darlington says that because