The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1853-05-03
=" N'H1l av-' -" ~
v @ Lo v i 4 .
MI S CELL A N EO US
Tho Bac1lelor and tine baby.

by'sS mother remembered a triAing
commission which she had promised
to execute for me in the village
With aniibjunction to touch the era
die if the baby awoke, she departed,
leaving me proud of my new employ
ment, and lulled by past immunity
into state Of fatal security. ? Histo-
ry is full Of similar examples.
With one eye on my book, and tho
otheISon the cradle, like q faithful
watch dog, listened to the retreat
ing football that should have warned
rue, but did not, slook out for squalls
Ishad no idea of the awful RESPONSE.
bility which l had taken upon my.
self, or should have shrunk from it
as a cat docs from water, or a mastiff
from a churning machine. In fact,
I rather suspect that l felt, in tri-
fling degree, ambitious that baby
should open one eyc-only one--that
I might have the pleasure of shutting
it: again. Unwary Norta! How
little do We know when we are we'll
off, My ambition was but too soon
to be gratifed I had yet to learn by
bitter experience how weary is the
lot of those who--tend to babies.
I wonder whether infants are con-
scious in their sleep of their mothers
absence, and know that an opportu-
nifty has arrived for "cutting up their
didoes 2' 81
s.The baby over whose slumbcrs I
had become the guardian genius
how the flies pitched into its nose J.
was as sound asleep as any body
could be when it's mother departed ;
but no sooner had ner shadow faded
from the room. than symptoms Of
wax kefulhess began to appear. First.
came q sigh; then a chuckle, that
said as plain as chuckle could say.
"Now for some fun" then one eye
opened and shut, then both began
peeping about, till the head seemed
inclined to bob off the pillow.
felt a little nervous at these
symptoms--only a little. "Pooh!"
said | to myself; ga roll or two of the
cradle will soon settle your business,
youngster." But it did not. Baby
was bound to have spree. 1t knew
that sits mother was out" That
big, bothersome blue.bottle fly, too,
tired of watching for the ship over
the clock face, started on voyage
of discovery on its own account, and
the first promontory which it reached
was the nose Of the baby, a tempting
spot upon which it landed for re-
freshment, buzzing most villanonsly
as it did so. 1t was a ticklish land.
ing, however, and baby soon drove it
off with sneeze that astonished it's
nerves, and mine, too, more than the
hy's, for the fly was accustomed to
ticklish situations, which l was not.
Baby was thoroughly reused. Up
went its round, chubby arm; but
rock of the cradle soon sent that back
to its place. 1 did rock that cradle
beautifully. The little head rolled to
A and fro as easily as if it had been
Fastened on by toy mandarin's neck.
I could not help admiring myself for
the way il which I did it, and I am
sure that any reasonable baby would
have gone to sleep again, if only for
compliments sake; but the baby in
the Grade didn't. The moment the
rocking ceased, up popped the little
head, like Judy's in the show, with a
small peevish cry. That cry it was
like the 'fzzing Of the fuse" of
powder magazine, sure to end in an
explosion.
Were you ever reused in the mid.
die of the night by the maid ofall.
work coming in her slippers and
night cap, to inform you that the
house was on fire? Did you ever
stand near O Dutchman who was
weighing gunpowdcr with a lighted
cigar in his mouth ? Did you ever
stand over the boiler of Mississippi
steamboat, and expect every moment
to be landed on the trcc.tops half
mile inland? If not you cannot con.
ceivc my horror when heard that cry.
! was in cold perspiration from head
to foot. | have no doubt that hail
stones as big rs pears might have been
picked off my forehead J rocked for
dear life, and baby bounced about like
u ball OF! Indian-rubbcr. Bat i, VAS all
useless. J sang all the songs that !
could think OF, from the cabalistic
"Hnshaby !" to "Ceasc, rude ijnreas!'
/ tried tenor, and tried bass; but the
baby did not know the dinercnc. 1t
seemed to think it all base. The louder
! sang. the louder it cried 1t was
baw! and squat; and squall beat. The