Washington telegraph., 1853-09-28
THE MURDERED CAPTAIN.
"Reminiscences of the Mexican War.


encamped near Jalapa and as was attached by
the General Government to the 1st Pennsylvania
Volunteers. and had some acqudIntances among
the officers of that regiment went into the town
to hunt up suitable mess | found nearly all
the officers had comfortably quartered themselves
in that delightful place After proceeding down
1 very hilly street. on turning by the cathedral,
c,me plump upon Lieutenant OF a Philadelphia
company, short, fat, good-natured fellow full of
mrth who, on finding out my object, insisted on
Introducing me to his mess consisting of only his
own company officers, and then boarding with an
ancient Mexican landlady, one Dona Villaverde.
and more cor1rUI t>l, s.-4-s I - -----l =
a soldier never found. Every evening we had
parties of she Senorltas, visiting ostensibly the
three fac daughters of hostess, but really to
enjoy little Irritation with the "Barbaies del
Norten or northern barbarians as the Mexican
journals politely termed u.s. | enjoyed the char
acter of the captain of the company very much,
tor he entertained the most exaggerated opinions
of Mexican perfdy and cruelty, and was the on
iy one of the party who took part in the amuse-
r1ents of the evening, being in truth rather sick
and very peevisl He had read in some works
of the horrors and atrocities of the Spanish guer-
rios in the Penins,ar war. and said he, ''we have
already had samples of it here, by the Mexican
guerrillos our men atrociousy mutllated prisoners
hutchered in cold blood no usag ge of civilized war
fare respected butt he added. what could be ex-
pected from such a race? Spanish cruelty joined
to Indian craft and cowardice; and then to see
YOU poor moths, 1uttering around the blaze that
will at last consume You. For my part, should
as soon think OF enjoying myself on my deathbed;
and never retire to my couch without feeling a
shuddering sensation, for the assassiu's dagger
may be my doom before morning." Thus fear
fully e.oquent did he become on the horrors to be
endured, and though brave Roman in battle,
he became completely terrified at the thought of
midnight assassins. One night, one of our mess
was taken with a violent collie. and the surgeon
prescribed mustard plaster, which our hostess
applied to the sick mans stomach with her own
hands; for the good old woman. am persuaded,
entertained sincere friendship for the whole
party. The mustard plaster worked wonders
the sick man recovered, and the old Dona became
proseiyte to the mustard cure, and believed in
mustard as she did IN her patron saint, with the
most undoubting faith; as her daughters and fe-
male servants had ample proofs OF for in every
complaint went the mustard plaster, until at
last the poor things were afraid to complain of
any sickness; for no matter where the pain was
in the head, tooth, foot plaster on the alb
domen was the universal remedy | met our
chambermaid one morning nearly doubled up,
waddling slowly along, why, Inez' says |. what
is the matterF She applied her hand to the part
affected, made udicrous grimace and sighed ont
mIstaza. Shortly after this, as | was taking my
siesta in our chamber, for we had but one for the
whole party, | heard my fat friend conversing
will our hostess in particularly execrable Spanish
in tie next apartment, and from the frequency of
the word mustaza, was induced to listen to the
conversation. | found it to be a regular plot, of
which the captain was to be the victim; for our,
waggisA friend was strongly working our hos
tesss mustard propensities for said he "see here,
Dona, the captain is sick, very sick, and, poor fell
low! unless something is done for him he will
never recover. He will not take medicine. ana
we can't pretend 70 force him to take it. Alas!
his life is vanishing like dream. Now, my dear
Dona a mustard plaster of large dimensions,
,,Iaced ruh his oh IyOud he tO him.
But be cannot be persuaded to have the remedy
applied But if you would prepare the plaster
and put it while he asleep, he would not
know it until next morning, for he sleeps very
soundly-his life would be saved and you would
be entitled to his eternal graft Jude" After con-
siderable persuasion sne was induced to promise,
and | retired to my bed that night anticipating
considerable alp in the morning when the captain
would find blister where IN the evening there
was none At the witching hour of night, our
hostess epered, accompanied by servant who
bore a cdndle. The Dona herself had mastard
pIastes OF such formidable dimensions that it
would have covered the stomach OF giant She
ound her victim lying on his back, soundly Sleep
W and snoring most melodiously. But a short
he sufficed to prepare the part to receive the
aplication and in trice the captains stomach
WIS enveloped in the health giving plaster
Sdrcely had the sensitive part received the plas-
teHwhen with stunning roar the captain sat up
\ rigt in the bed, and had just time to see his
fAoCScOnNuSeQ ana his eyes Sid11ng WlCn horror.
i wha the old lady and her servant, scared nearly
ut their WI r..ehe1 fre Il: Eeesse
ths sS nstSH, 8 MS
What is the NATTER said our fat friend in a
oh so siuguarly altered, that knew he was
ifay choked with suppressed laughter.
Siiftter," exclaimed the captain, matter en-
vshy-G-d; here I'm sitting murdered--a hole
WTNuS me big enough to drive an ambulance in.
pnaaeeEmy Cd! For heavens sake help! I'm
t.1NSsh leath,'
W. .UWESou feel any pain; captainao shouted one
lhomi9 n5dd Be lni e sit aheT in th
needies bpndsF bpiaf For Gods SAKE get VIII lTht & brias
"F9ls a HSht-rns stomach il fire.
ting on his cot, his arms extended and his hand.
covered with mustard making the most ridicul
Gus figure imaginable
Why, good heavensl captainn said one of tbe
color of blood.n - "'' Wit
why, no!' said the captain, gazing on them
with astonlshment lit does not look like blood
but if it isn't blood what is itn O''''
"Ahem" said our fat friend, aare YOU quite sure
you havn't been sick1n
Pshaw," interrupted the captain hastily avon
ol"ays lohlhS; out gentlemen, had YOU not
'oetter see after my wounds first and discuss the
matter afterwards U.s. '''e nc
An examination was commenced which t,
inateo IN laugh, w hen it was discovered that no
wound was inflicted, and at last the captain plain
ly perceived that the old lady came to heal and
not to Kill He submitted with a good grace to
tne laugh OF his brother officers, but for a long
tune inns could not look pleasantly at the ofiicionss
game VINO was the cause of the disturbance. The
last words heard from the captain. as was t,L
ing leave, being called out bv dntw 70 ..ta as
place, were 'Pretty country-by Gal wbera Sho,nel
man can't sleep soundly at night. without tha
danger of having blister as bio as harm ao"e 'ne
on bis belly when he rises in the mornina.D ''''
~ Y Dpteimon