The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1853-11-10
4 Rich Letter.

The following description of visit to
the Ohio State Agricultural Fair, we
find in the Portsmouth Tribune. 1t is
one of the best things of the kind We
have read for long time. 1t is real
laugh and grow fat yarn. Read it.
ONO STATE FAIR, Dayton, Sept. 2nd, 1853
Mister Tribune Hannas @- CLIPPERS
DEAR SIR: We are here on the affair
grounds, all we'll and hartsome, close to
the double cylinder Battering Ram on
one side and the Patent Cement Man and
Perpetual Squirtin' Jenny on the tother,
with wimmen gigglin', chickens CROWN,
babies cryin,' 6 policemen eussin all round
us-hopin' you enjoy the same blessing,
Jest as the Scioto was going out yes
terday, Mr.. Taylor, the gentlemanIy clerk,
saw US on the Springville landing, and
very perltely stopped the engine, rever-
sed the bilers till we got on. Next Morn
ing we was at Cincinnaty, and in a few
minutes was transported to the cars. The
cars is great sight. Imagine all the
one story houses in Portsmouth tied to-
gether, and behind them fastened all the
Stables and pig pens-and then people at
all the windows, and team running OF
with the whole procession, and you Will
know little how they look.
While the Captain on the platform was
screwin' his wheel and the iron horses
blowed their noses few times to get a
good start, I tried to buy some ginger
bread for Jeemes. But just as handed
over my quarter and the boy reached out
the refreshments, the cussed cars started.
1 perlitely asked the little spider-legged
conductor at the wheel, if he wouldn't
stop and let me recify, but he only
unscrewed and went the faster, saying be
guessed I'd been takin' toe msuh of the
srectifed already. Mr. Hannas, my
blood billed; and if it hadn't been that the
striped painted serpent had to do all the
screwin' for the whole train, to keep the
cars from running off the track, I'd a
knocked him off the masheen My wife,
Sary Gump, and Kesiah Gump, my
nephew. was both afraid I'd break the
car, or tear my clothes.
At Xeny, they stop to eat bite and
change bilers, and | hadn't got down
more than three or four cups Of coffee
and plate of bisket, when seed man
at the head of the table dashing out
some kind of gravy or soup. So thinks
saws |, that's the superintendent, and
he's he man to tell of concerning the
striped painted cuss. While the wimmen
got on the car, and the crowd bustled, |
Slipped up to the soup man and told him
how I'd been treated. He seemed like a
clever feller, and the more [ sed and the
madder ] got, the better he seemed to
feel. Says he, 1T shall all be right, and
saws I Lets drink We'd just turned
round to the bar and lifted the glasses,
when, as | said, Here's luck to the Rail
road Soup, some one holleaed
out-sAll aboard' and away went the
train swifter than hungry hound goes
to dinner. All 'boardp thinks says /
if they're not all bored, Mr.. Philander
Gump's badly perforated anyhow.
/ knowed it was plan OF the striped
painted william to leave me, and determln-
ed if long legs and willing disposition
would do any good, to overtake him
HIS steam was up and so was my dander;
and l felt as though | had little loco
motive in each leg of my pantaloons. |
ran, leaped, l scratched gravel, | elon'
gated and extenuated; dilated, dissi-
pated space; | eloped, ! sloped, until ma.
ture slid by me like a parnarama painted
on lightning. But it wouldn't do. I've
seen the day when ] could have passed
him,-before Perry's Victory,-but ever
since then the Erie-sipelas has stiifened
my jints. Sary and Jeemes and kesiah
waved the bapdkerchieis and hollored