Daily evening star. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1852-1854, 1853-12-28
THE SHADY SIDE OF FORTY

low many individuals, under the pres
ent restrained state of society, expend
their sweetness, like wild flowers, upon
the desert air, signing for what they never
obtain, a congenial heart to love them.
After having spent half hour in CONVEX
sation with female friend, who had seen
many summers, and few lovers, she
heaved deep sigh, and broke forth in
the following strain :-'' Everything that
[ have ever loved, has either died or
proved false to me. When rosy-cheeked.
warm hearted girl, | became fondly at
tached to a fair-haired youth, who was
near my age. | loved him devotedly,
and he seemed to have the same kindly
aifectionate feeling towards me. MANY
little tokens of affection passed between
us. was truly happy for short time :;
but when the flowers were nipped by the
frost, and the robins had ceased their
singing, and the autumn leaves were
blown about by the cold November
winds, my own dear Edward faded also ::
and before the robins returned be was
laid away beneath the cold ground.
wept in secret, days, months and even
years for thought he loved me. His
memory haunts me still, for since his
death, during the many years which
have passed, | have a thousand times
been disappointed. | once had two little
canary birds, to which l became much
attached, for I could not live without
loving something. But one cold morn
ing | found one of them dead, and the
other one apparently melancholy, weep
ing for it's mate. He refused to eat, and
in a few weeks died also, apparently of
grief
EAfter that l became attached to young
sailor of fine personal appearance, who
seemed to reciprocate fully my affection.
He soon left for a long voyage, but not
till he had promised to write to me often,
and sealed the promise with a parting
kiss. In few months received a let
ter from him dated at Havana. 1t was
full of affection, just such letter as
wanted for had waited anxiouslv for
it. From that time heard nothing from
him for five long years. During this
time had strained my eyes almost daily
over the marine list, hoping to obtain
some news of his return. l have hun
drcd times dreamed of being tossed upon
the deep troubled ocean, as the wind
whistled through the cordage, and the
ship staggered among the conten,iing bill
lows.
At last, looking in New Orleans paper,
| noticed the name of my lover, under
the head of marriages. in connection with
Miss c. of New Orleans. A cold shuddel
came over me from head to foot, as Lex
claimed - traitor how could you be Sc
false to one who loved you so long and SC
well. My friend here paused, ard | oh.
served that tears were flowing thick and
fast, while she sobbed like very child
After few minutes she resumed the mar.
rative by saying, 81 was then past the
bloom of youth, approaching thirty. ]
knew my heart was still as warm as ever
but on examining my face, the marks O.
age were quite apparent and an occa
sional grey hair was found. Those were
carefully removed with the hope of still
being loved. Since that, have had many
pets, for short time, but fate has seemed
in an unlucky hour to remove them all
Men have often shown me some littl,
attention, as they generally do before 6
permanent attachment, but have mod
estly refused the first, with determine
ton to accept the second but the SECOND
never comes.
| am now past two score years. bu
feel the same strong desire for an object t.
love, and am resolved, shoulda geatlema,
ask small favor Of me, which can JUS
as we'll grant as not, that l will cheer
fully comply, and thank him as kindly as
i would friend who had made me 6
present. l can see now where hav,
missed it many times, snpposing that
must appear Indifferent at first, and after
wards accept. l have learned, however
that the first manifestations of affection
are as easily blighted in gentlemen o
fine sensibilities, as the tender plant by,
biting frost. Perhaps l have learned tot
late, but still have hope"
could not help thinking that thes,
frank Acknowledgements Of my friend toll,
the story Of many warm hearted fepal