Semi-weekly North-Carolina standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1852-1853, 1853-05-14

RATHER FUNNY. Some time since slab-sided
mortal, who had the appearance of having passed
through the saw MILL called at Wholesale estab-
lishment in Philadelphia, and inquired,
Is this Burlap, Jeans q Cos I?
Yes SIR
WELL reckon owe you small sum-
Your name, sir?
'Snooks'
After looking over the ledger, Shocks was told
that his name was not on the books.
"A darn'd pretty way to keep them them guess
if man owed me three hundred dollars would
not forget it. However, l don't want to cheat
you, just give me a receipt on account, for two
hundred and twenty-five dollars and fifty cents
Never mind the cents here's receipt for the
dollars
Mighty careless you be of cents they are not
to be sneered at. Good morning.
The firm were electrified at the honesty Of Mr..
Shocks; they insisted on his purchasing a bill of
goods, but Shocks very unwilling
1T was hard to pay for them,' he said, have
been all winter raising that
But to their great satisfaction they sold him a
bill of one thousand at six months.
When the time of payment arrived, demand
was forwarded to the down easter, but the letter
remained for weeks unanswered.
The account was sent to lawyer who resided
in the town from which the stranger hailed. The
next mail brought the agreeable intelligence that
no such person as Mr.. Shocks ever lived there.
The African trade (the kind of trade Mrs. Beecher
Stowe is engaged in) in England seems to pay ex-
ceedingly well. No sooner our Yankee authe-
ress landed in Liverpool, it appears, than she was
presented with gl3O sterling. What for, as she is
not understood to be in necesstous circumstances,
We cannot imagine. John Bull would seem to think
Uncle Tenn has come begging
$l30is just $3.50. Mrs. Stowe is certainly not
much in need of the money, if the reports be true
touching the enormous income she has received from
the sale of her romance. If we could persuade her,
We should see it appropriated something after this
fashion.
$500 (say) to buy the freedom of one slave.
100 to send him TO Liberia.
100 to the Negro Orphan Asylum here.
100 to learn one little negro to read and write.
SO to enable him to emigrate.
$3.50
Now, if Mrs. Stowe were not professional abo-
litionst, she would certainly spend the money she
making and is going make in the African slave
suggested. But being aboliIionist, and the real
comfort of the negro therefore, being all in her
way, the following appropriations likely to
be made
500 to entice slaves to run away, South.
100 to rescue them, North.
100 to pay expenses of ditto.
100 to send him TO Canada.
SO for subscriptions to IS woody" newspapers.
SO for lectures the higher law.
$50 for grand anal gamaon dinner.
900 for the relief of the sick and distressed Uncle
Toms in the northern cities.
The next bag of gold Mrs. Stowe is presented with
ought be paid into the fund for the support of abo
on editors and lecturers the first to keep on de-
nouncing the constitution accused bargain,
and the other to execrate the South the Church. and
every body else that don't join issue with them. 1t
is be hoped that cousin John will hurry up the
funds. Ne10 York Erpress.