Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-08-13
.THIB0DAUX, LOUISIANA SATURDAY, AUGUST 13 1862
Fern Leaves.

Fern Leaves. @
- We do hereby proclaim that unless our
sights are soon given us, we will take i'm
mediate measures to stop the population."
Woman's Rights Convention.
Oh you benighted donkeys! stop the popu-
lation, will youa How many does it take to
make a bargain? Now do; for there is one
comfort about it, the world will soon be rid
of you strong-minded women," and we poor
quiet souls can sit at home and seWour chill.
dren's Clothes without perpetual appeals to
join your standard, and direfnl threats if we
dare refuse.
Stop the population! Look at that unfcf-
tnnate woman; five children dragging at
her dress, two in her arms, and her husband
following with three more! what treasure
she would be to you! and how dreadful such
a threat from her would sound! Now, il
she would only place all these children in
tE4ining as advocates for your "rights," !"
Heaven save the markD break the boys
noses, and pinch the girls pugs little
higher, what glorious future would open
before you! -
Stop the population! Now when look at
the list again, I am astounded to find it
mostly made up of spinsters and widows !
Really, you must excuse me, ladies, but
had no idea you were intending to keep up
the population. The threat is too dreadful! !!
cold maids children" are proverbially pro-
digles. Now don't deny yourselves the inn
mense happiness of listening to their little
prattling tones. Don't you see, dear crea-
lures, that the population" will arise from
another source? Bless you, dears, the men
are not SO easily scared, and such a threat
won't move them, take Fanny's word for it,
Stop the population! Look at poor Jones;
he has strong-minded wife and eleven
children. Don't you think he would be de-
lighted at your proposition, and willingly
vote 10 decrease it? Yes, indeed, and cry
" encore" as often as you wished! Didn't
he bring Mrs. Jones to the Convention, and
stamp and cry "hear" 10 all your motions
but wasn't it because Mrs Jones was tread
ing on his toes! Answer me that, Mr..
Speaker!
By all means, stop the population, dear
ladies then we can walk the streets without
tripping over piles of strong minded chill
lren, who are bound to revenge their parents
wrongs, and trip you in passing, pretty
darlings, and then kick you for falling.
Bat don't forget, dears, there are weak
minded women enough to supply all de-
ficiences.
Remember, too, ye advocates, that a
honest rights are mothers, and
that the Father who said .Sufer them to
come TO me" is your Judge, and that it were
better for you that milestone hung about
your neck and you were cast into the sea,
then one harsh word spoken to His little
ones. s
OLD MAIDS VS.. MArRIMoNY.-"It is folly
or girls TO expect to be happy without mar
rage: every woman was made for mother;
children are as necessary to
heir peace of mind, as health is. IF you
wish to behold melancholy and indigestion,
ook at an old maid; if you would take
7oung mothern 9 sSNow, won't stand that,n
eplies my aunt. "Pm an old maid myself,
Ind I'm neither melancholy nor indigestible.
Ny piece of mind Pm going to give you in
! minute: | never would touch baby,
Turing my existence, except with pair of
ongs. Young mother and sunshine, indeed
Why, they are worn to fddle-strings before
hey are fve-and-twenty. When an old
over steps in, he thinks he sees his grand
mother, instead of the dear little Mary who
lsed to make him feel as if he should crawl
ut Of the toes Of his boots. Yes, my mind
$ quite made up about matrimony. But
IS to babies-(sometimes think, and then
gain don't know, )-on the whole, be-
leve | consider 'em decided humbug.
is one-sided partnership, this marriage:
he ac.fe casts up all the accounts. The hus-
and gets up in the morning, and pays his
eUoars to the looking glass, curls his fine |
ead OF hair, puts on an immaculate shirt
osom, ties an excruciating cravat, sprinkles
is handkerchief with cologne, slows away |
French roll, an egg and q cup of coffee. |
ets into an omnibus, looks slantendicular at |
he prt ty girls, and makes love between
be pauses of business in the afternoon.
he wife must Theoretically seal the win
ows, and shut out the fresh air, because |
ne baby had the snuf1es in the mighty and
its down, gasping, at the table, more dead |
nan alive, to finish her breakfast. Tom |
pills cup Of hot coffee down his bosom,
uliana has torn off the string Of her school I
onnet; James wants his geography covered;
liza can't find her satchel; the butcher
ANTS to know if she'd like Joint Of mutton
le miIkman wants his money; the iceman
ANTS to speak to her just minute; the
ny oW0iiuWS q USdu lH6 AuSDdHu cCHdS |
le boy from the store to say, his partner
i'll dinewith him; the cook leaves, all
wing to 60 to her sisters dead baby's wake:
nd the husbands thin coat must be ironed I
efore noon. Sunshine and young mothers
There's my smelling bottle"
10 What is the difference between girls
nd lemonsa The latter get the most of
leif SnneeZinu in fhfa flnu.iavs and the I
rmer don't.
u Some tasteful individual very cor
.ctly remarks that the best lip salve in
cation is kiss; the remedy should be
led with great care, however, as it is apt
bring on an affection Of tie heart.
"A KNoTTY PoINr SETTLED.-1st Juvenile 7
Wal, say, now the demmycrats
in, what do you s'pose they'll doev
Cd Juv0nife pOlifician fsCnrnfnllvf-N Tn