Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1853-01-14
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n1orfesttr DaiIn 5pu.
That Hole in the Pocket.

care Of sixpences. Many people throw them
away without refnorse or consideration, not re-
fleeing that penny day is more than three dol
lars year. We could complain loudly if tax
Of that amount were laid upon US; but when we
come to add all that we uselessly tax ourselves
for onr penny expenses, we shall find that wo
waste IN this way annually quite enough to sup
port family with fuel.
1t IS now about year since my wife said TO
me one day, pray, Mr.. Slackwater have ven
that half dollar about you that gave Won this
morning Z felt IN my waistcoat pocket, and
turned my purse inside out, but it was all empty
space, which is very different from snecie. So
said TO Mrs Slackwater, 1--WE lost it nv dear:
positively, there must be a hole in INV nocketl'
I'll sew it up said she
An hour OF two after 1 met Tom Stebbins.-
How did the ice cream set ? said Tom. st set
like the sung loriously3' said |. And as spoke
It flashed upon me that my missing half dollar
had paid for those ice creams; however, | held
my peace, for Mrs Slackwater sometimes makes
remarks, and even when she assured me at break
fast the next morning that there was no hole IN
my pocket; what could [ do but lift my brow and
say, 'Ah, isn't there ?
Before week had gone by, my wife, who like
a duttul helpmate as she is, always gave me her
loose change to keep, called for Is cent piece
that had been deposited in my sub -treasury for
safety. There was poor woman at the door,
she said, shat she had promised it to for certain
We'll wait a moment cried, so pushed in
quifies first in this direction, then in that, then IN
the other, bat vacancy returned hoTried groan
'On my soul, said |, thinking it best 10 show
bold front, you must keep my pockets in better
repair, Mrs. Slackwater; this piece, with know
not how many more, is lost, because some corner
or seam in my paguy pockets is left open.'
Are you sure I said she.
Sure! ay, that am-t's gone! totally gomez
My wife dismissed her promised, and then ia
her quiet way asked me to change my pantaloo
before went out, and TO bar ell argument, laid
another pair on my knees.
That evening allow me to remark, gentleman
Of the species ''husband,'' was yerv 10th 10 90
home to tea; half had mind to bore some
bachelor iriend-and when hunger and habit, in,
their unassuming manner, one on each side, wait-
ed me up TO my door. the touch of the brass knob
made my blood run cold. But do not think that
Mrs Slackwater is a Tartar, my good friends, be-
cause thus shrunk from home The fact was
that had recalled to my mind while abroad The
fate Of the Is cent piece, which had invested in
smoke-that is 10 say segars; and ! feared to
think OF the comments on my panaloons pockets.
These things went on for some months We
were poor TO begin with, and grew poorer, or at
any rate no richer, fast. Times grew worse and
werse--even my pocket-boo was no longer to
be trusted-ihe rags slipped from it in manner
most incredible TO relate; as an Irish song says:
And such was the f,te of poor Paddy OMore.
That his purse had the more he had The fe wer
At length one day my wife came in with a sub
scription paper for the Orphan Asylum. looked
at it and sighed and picked my teeth, and shook
my head and handed il back to her.
Med Bowen" said she, s'has put down ten
dollars"
1.-THE more shame to him." / replied; she can t
attord lt-he cant but just scrape along any how.
and in these times it amt right for him to do it."
My wife smiled in her sad way, and took the pa
per to him that brought it, rs f l II
The next evening she asked me if 1 would go
with her and see the Bowens, and as had no OBJ
jectonS, we started afs .ii :
knew that Ned Bowen did small business
that would give him about 5000 year, and
thought it would be worth while to see what that
sum would do in the way of housekeeping We
were admitted BY Ned, and welcomed by Ned's
wife, a neat little body, of whom Mrs. Slackwater
had told me good deal, as they had been school
mates All was as nice as wax, and yet as SUBJ
stantial as irons comfort was written all over the
room. The evening passed, though we had no
refreshments ian article we never have at home,
but always want elsewhere) and returned to my
home with mingled pleasure and ehagrin, -.
'What pity, said to my wife, that Bowen
don't keep within his income
He does she replied. lngn S -l' tst a{.'f
J. But how can he on 5000 ? was my answer, if
he gives $40 to this charity, and So to that, and
lives so snug and comfortable too =
SHALL tell you,' said Mrs. S.
Certainty, if you cam m 81 lssl,is Is. f.q
Ills wife finds it Just as easy to go without $50
or $50 worth of ribbons and laces,as to buy them
They have no fruit but what they raise and what
is given them by theirco country friends, whom they
repay by thousand little acts of kindness They
use no beer, which is not essential to his health
as it is to yours and then ne buys no segars, no
ice creams, nor apples at 100 per cent. on market
price, or oranges at twelve cents iece or candy
or new novels, or rare works that are Still rarer
used; in Short my dear Mr. Slaekwater, he has
no hole in his pocket sa astaI IN
1t was the first word of suspicion my wife had
uttered on the subject and il cut me to The quickl
Cut me ]! / should rather say it sewed me up,
me and my pocket-book too; they never have
been IN holes since that evening, .ai so. is,
A SCENE AT TkE FRENCH PoL1cE.-The
following Is a curious specimen Of the police re-
ports OF the Partisan Journals: A man named
Couscoussou, was lately .red by the Tribunal Of
Correctional Police, for having beaten Madame
Couscoussou, his wife. st appeared that you
ihrashed her with great brutality; what have you
got to say for yourself'' asked the President
Pray, Mr. President, if your wife wouldn't let
you carry an umbrella, what would you do?'-
ooh, the monslerl oh, the brgand!' chimed 10
Madame Couscoussou. what ne saws there is
not true, Mr. President He was drunk when he
beat me- who doesn't &c. drunk now and
them! asked Nj. Couscoussou. But YOU get
drunk always answered the wife. And, Mr.
President, when he's drunk, he insists on going
to bed with his boots on, and with his umbrella;
that is his character Il wear my boots in bed
to keep my feet warm, observed the accused
Il don't so much objent,' said the wife, to the
boots, though they dirty and tear the sheets; but
do object to the umbrella. Think of wet UNI
brella in bed, Mr. President 1T is in the wet
ness ofthe umbrella related the husband shat
find my excuse. A prudent man is never with
out his umbrella when it rains; and as it was
raining when went 10 bed. took i with me-
oh, you drunkard' shreked Madame Couscous-
sou. But appeal to all women here present.
she continued, turning round TO the auditory, If
Il be 9leasan, to be in bed with damp unbrella.'
III was raining, tell You, and | was afraid that
Knight have dreOmt that was getting wet aud
as have grea. an,ipalhy 10 water, ] took my
umbrella with me as a precauion.' Yes, aud
you beat me when | wanted to remove il from
the bed The Tribunal cut this discussion short.
"