Thibodaux minerva. [volume] (Thibodaux, La.) 18??-1858, 1853-06-25
Fern Leaves.
BY FANNY FERN.

4 BY FANNY FERN.
"Well Susan. what do you think of mar
ried ladies being happy.?" rssWhy, / think
there are more amt that is than is that
aimtn wa
Susan, shall apply 10 the Legislature to
have your name changed to :Sapphira.D
You are an unprincipled female. Matrimony
lis another name for Paradise, at least in the
Fern Dictionary.
Just imagine yourself Mrs. Snip. 1t is a
/ little prefix not to be sneezed at 1t is only
the privileged few, who can secure pair
of corduroys to mend, and trot by the side
Of: or pair Of coatfla ps alternately to darn,
and hang on to,) amid the vicissitudes of this
patchwork existence.
Think of the high price of fuel Susan,
and the quantity it takes to warm a low
spirited, single woman; and then think Of
having all that found for you by your ssleep-
ing partner" and no extra charge for "gas."
Think how pleasant to go TO the closet and
lnd great bootsjack on your best bonnet; /;
or ITO work your passage" to the looking
glass every morning through a sea of
dickeys vests, coats, combinations, and
neck-ties; think Of your nicely polished toi-
| lette table spotted all over with shaving
suds.; think of your 'Guide to Young Wo-
mem used for razor-strap. Think of Mr..
Ships lips being hermetically sealed, day
after day, except TO ask you ''if the coal was
out, or if his coat was mended.n Think of
| coming up from the kitchen, in a gasping
state of exhaustion, after making batch Of
his favorite pies, and finding five or six great
dropsical bags disemboweled on your cham
Der floor, from the contents of which Mr..
Snip had selected the 'peces" of your best
silk gown for trays" to clean his gun with
Think Of his taking watch-guard you
made him out of your hair for dog-collar
Think of your promenading the floor, night
after night. with your fretful, ailing baby
hushed up oyour warm cheek, lest it should
disturb your husbands slumber; and think
his coming home the next day, and telling
you, when You were exhausted with your
vigils, "that he had just met his old love,
Lilly Grey, looking as fresh as daisy, and
that it was unaccountable how much older
you looked than she, although you were
both the same age"
Think of all that. Susan. and see if you
dare tell me again that 'sthere's more amt
that is, than IS that aint'-happy married
women. | came very near bursting my
bodice with Indignation at your impudent
assertion.
The BEARDED WoMAN"-As if that was
curiosity! can see legions Of them any
day without colIapsing my pocket-book by
a trip to Armory Hall) Jisping and mincing
aimIess through creation, on their patent
leather toes, behind a dickey and moustache.
Poor, silly creatures! they excite my COM
misseration, and sometimes feel as though
should like to take them up with pair of
sugar tongs, spread them out on rose leaf
and feed them with pap spoon. A pretty
bit of live satire that they don't challenge
her, for invading their feminine territory
Inject SO many ofthese "bearded women,"
that it is perfect relief to me to see huge
broad-shouldered, full-chested Anakim of a
Vermonter, with fist like sledge-hammer
a voice like Mars and stride like Hercules.
can get up something akin to respect for
such an embodiment of masculinity; but
these be-whiskered, be-scented. be-crayat-
ted, be-jeweled, e-everlasting- g-dispised Lii
liputian dandies-these bearded scomen-
Betty! throw up the window, and loosen
my bodice. I'm faint.
KISSING AND ToBAcco-Miss Fanny Fern,
in reply to an observation by contemporary,
that '',he women ought to make pledge
not to kiss man who uses tobacco" very
and sens;hlv rem,rks ,s fo,lou,s
rs a. aA1 '1s'' I, $50 : = - .o,.o" ;,
!. 80 1hey naa out tne oeuce OF II is, all
.ne nanasomes' men men use y IN some shape
ana Kissing IS nitie luxury moi 10 be dls,
Pensed with !. AS 10 a temate MSS faugh
lnere's no eDeruesseenee IN IL; us as nat as
an unmixed soda powder! Ill am vlctlmlzed
OF soap and water! You VIII see Women
pIactice y sometimes Just TO keep their hand