Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1853-11-02
The Murdered Captain.

was encamped near Jalapa, and as was
attached by the General Government to the
first Pennsylvania Volunteers, and had
some acquaintances among the officers of
that regiment, went into the town to hunt
up suitable mess, as | found nearly all
the officers had comfortably quartered them
selves in that delightful place. After pro-
ceeding down very hilly street, on turn
ing by the cathedral, came plump Upon
Lieutenant of Philadelphia company, a
short fat, good-natured fellow, full Of mirth,
who, on finding out my object, insisted on
introducing me to his mess, consisting OF
only his own company officers, and then
boarding with an ancient Mexican landla-
dy, one Donna Villaverde; and more COM
Portable quarters, am bound to say, SOL
dier never found. Every evening we had
parties of the Senortas, visiting ostensibly
the three fine daughters of our hostess, but
really to enjoy little Irritation with the
"Barbares del Norte,' or northern barbara
ans, as the Mexican journals politely term
ed US. enjoyed the character OF the cap
tain of the company very much, for he en-
tertained the most exaggerated opinions OF
Mexican perfdy and cruelty, and was the
only one of the party who took no part In
the amusements of the evening, being in
truth rather sick and very peevish. He
had read in some works of the horrors and
atrocities of the Spanish guerillos in the
Peninsula war, and, said he, tive have al
ready had samples of it here, by the Mexi-
can guerilos; our men atroclously mutlla-
ted, prisoners butchered in cold blood, no
usage of civilized warfare respected, but,
he added, "what could be expected from
such race: Spanish cruelty, joined to
Indian craft and cowarGice; and then to
see you, poor moths, Auttering around the
blaze that will at last consume you. For
my part, | should as soon think OF enjoying
myself on my death-bed; and never re-
tire to my couch without feeling shudder-
ing sensation, for the assassin's dagger may
be my doom before morning" Thus fear
fully eloquent did he become on the horrors
to be endured, and though brave as Ro-
man in battle, he became completely terri
fed at the thought of midnight assassins.
One night one Of our mess was taken with
violent collie, and the surgeon prescribed
mustard plaster,which ou: hostess applied
to the sick mans stomach with her own
hands for the good old woman, l am per-
suaded, entertained sincere friendship Tor
the whole party. The mustard plaster work.
ed wonders the sick man recovered, ana
the old Donna became proselyte TO the
mustard cure, and believed IN mustard as
she did in her patron saint, with the most
undoubting faith as her daughters and te-
male servants had ample proofs OF, Tor IN
every complaint, on went the mustard Plas.
ter, until at last the poor things were afraid
to complain of any slckness-for no matter
where the pain was, in the head, tooth' ear
or foot, plaster on the abdomen was the
universal remedy. Imet our chambermald
one morning nearly doubled up, waddling
slowly along, "Why, Inez," says |, "what
is the matter?" She applied her hand to
the part affected made ludicrous grimace,
and sighed out mustaza. Shortly after this,
as was taking my siesta in our chamber,
for we had but one for the whole party
heard my fat friend conversng with our
hostess in particularly execrable Spanish,
in the next apartment, and from the fire.
quency Of the word mustaza, was induced
to listen to the conversation.
found it to be regular plot, OF which
the captain was to be the victim; for our
waggsh friend was strongly working on our
hostess mustard propensities; Tor SAID he,
1 'see here, Donna, the captain is sick, very
sick, and poor fellow unless something Is
done for him he will never recover. He
will not take medicine, and we can't pre-
tend to force him to take it. Alas his life
is vanishing like dream. Now, my dear
Donna, mustard plaster of large dimen-
sions placed on his stomach. would be sure
to cure him. But he cannot be persuaded
to have the remedy applied. But if you
would prepare the plaster and put it on
while he was asleep, be would not know 1t
until the next morning, for he sleeps very
soundly-his life would be saved, and you
would be entitled to his eternal gratitude. Z"
After considerable persuasion she was in.
duced to promise, and | retired to my bed
that night anticipating considerable fun in
the morning when the captain would find
blister, where, in the evening, there was
none.
AT the witching hour of night, our hos
tess entered, accompanied by servant who
bore candle. The Donna herself had a
mustard plaster of such formidable dlmen-
sions that it would have covered the stom-
ach of giant. She found her victim lying
on his back soundly sleeping and snoring
most melodiously. Rut short time suf-
feed to prepare the part to receive the ap-
plcation, and in a trice the captains stom-
ach was enveloped in the heath-giSing
plaster. Scarcely had the sensitive part
received the plaster, when with stunning
roar the captain sat upright in the bed, and
| had lust time to see his face conyulsed
and his eyes glaring with horror. when the
old lady and her servant, scared nearly out
of their wits, rushed from the room, drop
ping the candle in their exit, and leaving us
in total darkness, but not by any means in
total silence.
The captain at the full pitch of his pow
erful lungs yociferated, "Murder! hell" "
"What is the matter" said our fat friend,
in a voice so singularly altered, that knew
he was nearly choked with suppressed
laughter.
"Matter,' exclaimed the captain, "mat-
ter enough by -; here I'm sitting MUIR
dered-a hole through me big enough to
drive an ambulance in. Matter my -!
For heavens sake help! I'm bleeding to
DEATH"
"Do you feel any pain, captain'' shout
ed one.
"Whv not much, but my stomach is cov-
cred with blood. have my hands full of
| if. | knew it. | felt it. was sure
sbould he assassinated in this accursed