davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

A SMART APRIL Fool. Among the
many attempts to play off practical Jokes
upon the green ones on the first of
April, that of a lady, at one of the boar
ding-houses Of our city, is the best we
have ever heard of. 1t was this: She
procured from marble yard several pies
ces OF beautiful white marble, and break
ing them into nice Jumps, put them into
the sugar bowls. The counterfeit was
compIele-no unsuspecting persons could
have detected the fraud. Soon supper
was ready-the tea was poured and The
sugar bowls passed round the table
Everybody took one, two, or three Jumps,
according TO the liking. Then followed
a general tasting and stirring around the
the table-nobody's tea was sweet enough,
and the sugar refused positively to melt
They ground their spoons against il, and
stirred and stirred again, but it was no 60.
The sugar proved TO be marble, and they,
TOR once proved to be April FOOLS
Charleston IS. CO. Standard.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

One Agent writes from Western New York" Send
me One Hundred Dozen Sure Relief, or Universal Pain
Killer, "a soon as possible as | am all out. IL j. the
most wonderful Pain Killer in the world 1t is used by
our best Physicians
Another Agent writes, "Your Pain Killer has cured
some Of the worst Of Rheumatism in this place il
Is truly WOaderaI Medicine Please send me two gross
nai;ent writes have used all the Pain Killers Of the
day but find none 50 worthy the title Of Pam KILLER rs
yours. 1t is all il is recommended TO bea Sure Relief
for Pain.
Another writes, "tho Physicians Sure Relief or
Pain Killer the best Medicine in the world for Rheu
matism; il has effected upon myself which bafl
sd the skill Of our best Physicians Hundreds Of such
statements the above might be adduced-One trial
will convince the most skeptica.
Two applications have cured the most severe Rhou
matte pains.
One Application mas Cureu the i"pst FioieH Tramp liz
the limbs.
Thirty drops has relieved pain in the stomach.
Six applications have entirely cured Rheumatism.
Twenty-Five drops taken every twenty minutes has
cured Cramps, SpaSms, &c.
One application at bed time has cured Sore Throat.
Twenty drops taken every fifteen minutes Mas cures
One application has cured Stitches in the Back.
One drop has often cured the most severe Iootnache
Fifteen drops taken every fifteen or twenty minutes
will Dysentery and Diarrhea
Twenty five drops has cured Sick Headache.
Ten drops has often relieved Acid stomach
Three applications has cured Lame SIDE ,
Twenty five drops i'll in all cases cure "Ihu "h he
Stomach
Ten drops every fifteen minutes will cure Cholera
MorbuS.
Three applications has cured Lumbago
Thirty drops daily has cured Gravel and Kidney com
plants. -
Sudden Colds and hard Coughs can be cured by few
doses, thousands can testify. -
For Kidney complaints the Sure Relief Is an exceeh'
remedy taken two or three times day.
For SPINAL difficulties il is invaluable One teaspoon
FIJI will relieve the violent pain in the stomach,
and restore il to its natural feeling When taken accord
ing to directions it will speedily and ehectualy cure
Bowel complaints and that horrible disease, the ChoieIa
as has been proved in nnumer1be cases IN New "
leans st Louis Cincinnati, and many other large cues
IN the South and West where the Diarrea ana Choera
have ragged 50 fatally. Reader, II you are suffering ron
either Of the diseases named above, or from pam from
be sure and try this great Relief and you viii
be well.
M Price, II 10, 25 and 81 IL cents per bottle
AGENTs-A G Page and T. Lincoln, Bath; a
Perry Co, Geo = Todd, r Lowell and II Sedgburg
Phipsbnrg; W SWEET and Benz SWEET Jr, ATTowsIc
w q Emmons, Watson, Berry & Sampson ond J
Sader, @ Georgetown; WIN Baker, Isaac Stanwood
A l. Stanwood and Geo Upham, Brunswick; VIM
Clifford, Edgecomb @ B Fisher, J McCliniock. Wm
Carlisle Boolhbay; w NJ Davis, Iiodgdons Mills +
Dana, Jr Dana rIscotta Il Herbert, Bristol.
NATHAN NO Cd, General Agent for Nj line.
A!so-For sale by the above agents Hinkley's Asiat
ic Linimen, Asiac and Poor Mans Pasters for Rheu
matism, Cramps, Sprans, &c. 1ylS
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

Fruit growers should be on the look out
among their frult-trees for the appearance OF
caterPillars, as they may have overlooked
the insect rings upon the twigs during The
winter and spring. There are two easy
ways of destroying them-one is by placing
small charge OF powder in gun and firing
into the nest and the destruction of the cat.
erpilars is complete. Another way is 10
swab them with burning fluid and then sci
The fluid Oh fire. Either of these ways is
effectual. 10 our own garden we examine
The trees very carefully TO find the little rings
containing the eggs and by picking them off
we avoided the appearance of the caterpil
lars. In some way let these pests be de-
stroyed.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
V A R [ E I Y

THE SECRET OF MATRIMONIAL HAPPI>
NEss.-Zschokke, in one of his tales, gives
the following advice to bride: In thy
first solitary hour after the ceremony, take
the bridegroom and demand solemn
vow Of him, and give him a vow in re-
turn. Promise one another sacredly, new
er, not even in Jest, to wrangle with each
other; never to handy words or indulge
in the least ill-humor. Never, | say,
never! wrangling in jest, and putting on
an air Of ill humor merely to tease, be-
comes earnest by practice. Mark that
Next, promise each other, sincerely and
solemnly, never to have secret from each
other, under whatever pretext, with what
ever excuse 1t might be. You must Goa
tinually, and every moment, see clearly
into each others bosom. Even when
one of you has committed n fault, wait
not an instant, but confess il lreely-et
it cost tears but confess it. And as you
keep nothing secret from each other, so,
on the contrary, preserve the privacies Of
your house, marriage state and heart from
father, mother. sister, brother, aunt, all
the world You two, with Gods help,
build your own quiet world every third
or fourth one whom you draw into j
with you, will form party, and stand
between you two. That should never be.
Promise this to each other. Renew the
vow at each temptation. You will find
your account in it. Your souls will grow
as it were together. and at last will be-
come as one. All. if many young pail
had, on their wedding day, known lhi:
secret, how many marriages were hap
pier than, alas, they are!'
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

BY CHARLBs SWAIN.
Be off with you now-don't know
That it's only cajoling you are;
With "cheeks like the roses soft glow,
And glances more bright than the star y
IT'S true that my waist is but small,
And my ringlets may curl like the vine;
But I'm not like an angel at all
Nor am the least bit divine
So be off with you now-don't 1 see
You're deluding from eve until dawn!
Ny step may be bounding and free,
But I'm not in the least like the fawn
But twas ever The method we know,
Since Adam in Eden began
That bosorns were sure to be SNOW,
And necks were, Of course, like the swan
Come, be off with you now, till you learn
To WOO like plain hearted youth;
Let your mind, if you love me, discern,
To win, you must WOO me with truth
1 would rather, instead of these flowers,
In which you are ever so rife
That you promised to love me all hours,
AS long as each other had life!
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

A BLUNDER Asls A BLUNDER. n.
Y. Atlas, speaking of man of some
note, lately deceased, undertook to say,
he subsequently commenced life as le-
gal practitioner, but was diverted from it
by his love of letters The editor did
not look at his proof, and on Sunday
morning he had the pleasure of reading
He subsequently commenced life legal
politician, but was diverted from it by his
love OF bitters.- Providence Journal.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

The common fluency Of speech in many
men and most women, is owing to scarcity
of matter and scarcity Of words for who
ever is master of language, and has mind
full of ideas, will be apt, in speaking, to
hesitate upon the choice of both whereas,
common speakers have only one set of ideas,
and one set of words to cIolhe them in and
these are always ready a; the mouth so
people can come faster out Of church when
i is almost empty, than when a crowd is at
The dOor.-SWiG.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
P O u 7 R Y
spring GOssips.
ny DoDoNA MoNTFoREs-
ar a wild murmur of music

| hear wild murmur of music
As the wind Of the morning sweeps by
And trembling warblngs float upward
Float up from the earth to the sky.
For the bird-notes have broken the silence
OF the snow-kiug's desolate reign,
And the rilI, like roe in its freedom
Has broke from lis icy chain.
And a tell-tale song tbs singing
In the wilds of the mountain glen,--
10 the gossip flowers that listen,
To echo the story again.
And the willow in fringes golden
Is bending her jewehed ear,
And the wild bee has ceased his humming,
The wonderful tale to hear.
And now to the May buds he's fastening.
And down in the wooded dells,
And up the steep hillside he's telling
The tale to the purple bells.
For the zephyr has gone woOing,
A wooing the maiden Spring.;
And 10 dwell with the birds and flowers
His beautiful bride he'll bring
And the air is one murmur of music,
And the earth is one Eden of bloom,
For nature in beauty has risen
From the damps of her winter tomb.
Portland Transcript.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

A CITY buck visited The Shakers at Leba-
non some time since, and as he was wander
ing through the village he encountered
stout hearty specimen of the sect, and thus
accosted him:
Well, Broadbrim, are you much of a
Shaker?'
Nay said the other, not over much, but
can do little that way
So he seized the astonisIied man by the
collar, and he nearly shook him out of his
boots
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

ALL THE GoLDIN THE WORLD Taking
The cube yard Of gold at E2,OOO,OOO, which
it is in round numbers, all The gold in the
world at this estimate might. melted into in
gots, be contained in cellar twenty-four
feet square, and sixteen feet high. All our
boasted wealth already obtained from Cali
fornia and Australia would 60 into an iron
safe nine feet square and nine feet high
So small is the cube of yellow metal that has
set populations on the march, and reused the
world 10 wonder.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

A contemporary imagines that gold will
60 on increasing until il becomes less
valuable than old iron. In less than
twenty he years expects to see tenpenny
nails take the Place Of breast pins, while
the only fashionable lady will tolerate,
will consist Of pewter earrings and copper
plated head>bands. Gold in his opinion,
is bound to be drug, and in century
from now will be only used for coal scul-
ties and manure forks.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

CHURNiNG'-Bu'ter should always be
cnurneu IN room or apartment, the
temperature OF which is between thirty
and sixty degrees. At sixty degrees, but.
ter is obtained in the greatest quantity
and at about fiItytw degrees, of the hest
quality. To those interested in dairv
management, these facts are Of the bigb, ,
est practical importance. A thermometer
should always be suspended in the dairy
or milk room, and all the operations regu-
lated by it.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
WORMD9S FATIa
Prize Medal Furnace.

WE present Chilsons Patent Air-warmng and venti-
w la ing Furnace with the utmost confidence that it
will prove ITSELF on fair trial, to be the best Furnace in
The long and thorough experience of the INVENTOR
the subject of air warming and ventilation and the fact
that during the past seven years, CIllLSON'S FUR
MACE has gradually superseded all other Furnaces in
tho public Schools Hospitals and Institutions of the city
of Boston, sufficient guaranty of their superiority
Their chief recommendations purity Of air, power
tul heaers-wit great economy in the consumption of
fuel will burn coal wood equally WELL superior draft
easily cleaned great durability and can be i'll low eel
lars lfneeded.
These Furnaces warranted to give perfect sasfac-
ton, they will be taken down and no charge made.
Please call and examine, the store in Rogers Block,
Front Street, near Sagadahock Ferry.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

A poor shoemaker having plunged into
the water to save the life of a miser's
child, the latter was profuse in hanks
what do not owe you 2 said he, owe
you everything Very well, you may
just pay me ten dollars of it now said
the other, and | will wait ill you get
ready to discharge the remainder of the
debt The miser sloped.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

The candles you sold me last week
were very bad,' said Suett to talIow-
chandler. Indeed, sir, | am sorry for
that Yes, sir, do you know they burg
to the middle, and would then burn no
longer You surprise me what sir,
did they go out {! No, sir, Motley burnt
short
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
Ship ChandlerY

AS6yE e" ''So'''"s"''O"S oman 'O''''s
II. HYDE Il Co., corner of Front
and Broad Streets, Bath.
Including Cordage, tmanilIa aud tarred) from h e
Manufacture Of Boston and Plymouth by Gang
tail Cotton Scotch and Russia Duck, OF all descrip-
lions. Cotton and emp Twnes.
Anchors Of all sizes-Besi proved Cham Cables
Sheeisand Ties-Boii Shcathing Copper and Yellow
-Compositi0niSp pixies and other Castings-Per-
leys Ventaiors, bigger WindIasses, &c, Palentdo
Gear, Windlass Necks aud Capstans Spindes-Cam-
booSes-Iron Spikes-NavaI SIores-Paints, Oilsand
G Iass-Naukica Instruments, Is looks Charts, &c.
Many ofthe above articles, suitable notice can be
eliveredfrom the manufacturers ther owes tprces
ofexpcnse % the purchaser.
Bath march, 1851. az
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
RARE CHANCE.
STOVE DEALERS STOCK

TlIlE entire stock ia the Store Broad ST, recently
L occupied 10y Monroe Goodrich, is now in til c
arkei and will be sold the asonable Terms
ifapplicaton be made soon. The Stock consists Of
good variety of all the best Stoves in ma kei
Hardware, Pumps, Agricultural Implements, Tin
Britannia and Japanned Ware; and as the store IL
centrally situated, the Work Shop good, and The good
will Of the concern north something, opporu
nifty is afforded 10 any enlerprlsng who wishes TO
purchase the stock and carry on the business.
The Agricultural Tools, such as Ploughs, Cult va
tors, Forks, etc will be sold separate from The Stoves
in lots TO suit purchasers.
For further particulars call on the subscribers, who
are authorized 10 sell for the parties concerned.
Bath, April s, 1858. OWEN 4 co.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

INCOLN, sat- Court Of Probate held at Wscasset,
IL on the I'd day of May, A 1853
ORDERED, that Charles Davenport and John bearing,
assignees of John Wilkinson of Bath in said County
notify the creditors of said assignment and all persons in
of said Wilkinson will be offered for allowance at Pro-
bate Court at Bath the LIST day OF June next, when
and where they may be present if they see cause
Notice to be given by publishing attested copy OF
this order the Eastern Times printed at Bath, three
weeks successfully, before said Court Of Probate.
Given under my hand this I'd day Of May, in the year
Of Lord thousand eight hundred and fifty three,
ARNOLD BLANEY, Judge Of Probate.
Copy Attest-EDwIN HovEY, Register. 3w48
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

To the Court of Probate for the County Of Lincoln
u ESPECTFULLY represents George Farrin, OF Tops.
IL ham, in said County, that Rebecca Farm, late oil
TOpsham, in said County, died the 18th day OF March,
1882 seized and possessed Of real estate goods and chat
es rights and credits to the value of one hundred dol
lars, which ought to be administered according TO law
Your petitioner further represents that he is next OF kin
and principal creditor of said deceased.
Wherefore he prays that administration Of said estate
may be granted to him some other suitable person.
Dated this cd day Of May, 1853.
GEORGE w. FARRIN.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

These medcinesare the scientific preparations of 4
regular physician.
H. THE SYRUP is an article understands unriUGlLcd
and uRequaLed III this any olhcr country great
humor medicine. Ii is entirely different from any pre-
paal ion of SarSaparfHd Dock. and is lar better than
any all of Them 1t has now been tested in more
than 500, 900 cases. embracing persons of both
above named diseases and rs yet TO knowledge,
there has been the FIRST Instance where il has
done the work Just as il was stated IL would be.
10 MORE THAN 10000 cases ofhumorS in All their
many and varied FORMS have been treated aud been
permanently cured by it,
r- observation-disclosures who have suffered from
this distressing complaint for years, have III every
known case been cured by these medicines.
&C. AT LEAST FIFTY THOUSAND SALT RnEUM PA
have used the Syrup together with The Cerate
many oflhem old and Inveterate cases, and every,
instance effect
o. For ALL ScRoFuLoUs HUMoRr.-The Syrup for
them has no equal im Sa1saparla or anything else.
FEMALE IRREGULARITIEs.-There is no one cause
which produces greater amount Of suffering Than the
Irregular action the female functions In these y Re-
stores 10 health srengthand vigor and enables nature
toassume her raiural periods.
10 NURSING SORE MoUrH-TbiS truly distressing
disease need no longer be the dread of nursing moth
ers, for their isnow reliable remedy. The Syrup,
together with the Canker Cure, Will at once most eff
ecually and permanently cure This disease.
- VENEGEAL TAINTS AND MERcURIAL DISEASES
are poisonous Impurities of the blood, which through
their effect upon The glands felt in every part othe
human system. Not single organ that does not fee
The effects of these posons and by their reaction upon
each other eectuay prevent all the unaided efforts
ofnature throw them off. In such cases, if there
speciGcfor any disease The Svrupis forthis
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

That's rather dirty business OF yours
said boss-tailor the other day to a GER
tain city official who was inspecting the
drain beneath the schneider's shop. q
don't know sir he repied-'seems to
me il's much the same as yours How
is that 2 asked the tailor. why, sir, we
are both superintendent Of common sew.
ore,
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

10 the Court OF Probate for the County of lincoln
TX ESPECTFULIY represents George w. Farrin, of
r. opsham in said County, that Martha Farrin, late of
isae nam IN said County, died the llth day of June
seIed and possessed Of real estate goods and chat
Yon,r un ought to be administered according TO law
Of said de urther represents that he is OF kin
deceased. So one OF tue credllors OF SAID
NAV be granted prays that administration of said estate
Dated this second daT q some ohel suitable person.
GEORGE w EARRIN
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

LINCOLN, ss-At Probate Court held :, x,,,...
May, 1853. Oh the I'd day OF
On the foregoing petition, ORDERED. tb., AL,
titioner give notice TO all persons interested % Pc
tate, that they may appear Court or Proh., Is
holden at Bath, within and for said County m ~ % oe
day Of June next, by causing copy of said petition win
this order TO be published in the Eastern Times nrin,ed
az Bath, IN said County, three weeks successivey nre
vious 10 said Court. ARNOLD BLANEV Ia, ~, lie
Attest-EDwIN S. HovFY Register
SwaS true copy. Attest-EDwIN HovEY Reg.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
hARRADlALA9S
HAIR RESTORATIVE.

A HEALTHY and sure restorative for The Hair,
"A preventing il from falling Off and restoring its
natural appearance and rgina color, when inclined
10 gray, making it soft ana fine, without the danger
10 the head usual with hair dyes, aud free from all
dIsagreeable comseqr ences. This restorative, when
efficiently applied, is 10 cure the head, removing
dandruh aud all culaneous eruptions, while at The
same time it stimulates the hai-, producing fine,
9 lossy appearance ana restoring ii TO lis original
shade OF color The proprietor has received great
personal benefit from The OF this article which he
has brought to its present state OF perfection by
peaed Ind carefully tasted experiments, and he now
offers ito the public IN the fullest assurance that il
cannot fail 10 give satisfaction when properly applied
Direct ions accompanying each bottle.
Prepared only by the proprietor, in Bath, who can
furnish any amount OF testimony TO establish the well
ea nedr epulaIion of The Restorative.
DANIEL L.ARRABEE.
Principal Depot for the sale ofthe above wholesale
and retail Owen Co.'s store Front ST, and at his
dwelling-house. Grove St, Bath
BAH, Feb r. 1858. 6m35
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

A bellies face, in bonnet Of score Of
years since, was like rose at the bottom
of coal-scuttle. Now it stands forth
from her bonnet, like that rose bursting
from the bud
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
Be of with You now.

BY CHARLES SWAIN.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

LINCOLN, sat a Probate Court held at Wiscasset,
within and for the County of Lincoln, on the 81 day Of
May, A d, 1858.
On the foregoing petition ORDERED that the said pc
tioner give notice all persons interested in said es-
tate, that they may appear Court OF Probate to be
holden Bath, within and for said County on the 2lst
day of June next by causing copy of said petition with
this order be published in the Eastern Times printed
at Bath in said County, three weeks SUCCESSFULLY pre-
vions TO said Court ARNOLD BLANEY, Judge.
Atiest-EDwIN HovEY Register.
3w49 A true copy. Attest-EDwIN s HovEY, Reg.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

MR.. CALVIN EDWARDS, OF Portland, will vIsIt this
u1cy every fortnight aud Pianos for all persons
who may desire. Mr. u wards has been for MANY
years manu. actMer of pianos, which not sur
passed by any made aud his reputation as tuner is
not equaed by any person in The Stale
= Orders left at SAWYER Magoun's Bookstore,
will receive prompt attention.
Bath Mar Is, 1853. 80
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

Charcoal, it is said, placed around rose
bushes. and other Towering plants, has
the effect to add greatly to the richness OF
the flowers.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

Refinement is certainly spreading. A
store keeper in Iowa adverises long pink
eyed potatoes, of elongated tubers with
scorbutic optics.
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

Il have learnt this profound truth saws
Alderman John, from eating turtle that
it shows most depraved taste to mock
anything for its greenness.'
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
Pure Ground Java & W. /. Coffee.

CHOCOLATE Cocoa and Shells Cream Of Tartar,
~ Ginger, Pepper, and general assortment OF Spe-
es fresh from the Lynn Mills; Mustard, Peppersauce
keichups and Pickles; Raisins in boxes aud half do
Stewards and East Boston refined white and yellow,
sugars and Syrups, Soap In boxes. also Starch in do
and herring, for sale by d. & u PATTEN
May A, 1853 &c
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02

1t is told Of Lord Norburg that when
passing the sentence of death upon man
for stealing watch, he said to the Gull
prit-
My good fellow, you made grasp at
time, but caught at eternity =
Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1853-06-02
EXCHANGE
On England, Ireland and Scotland.
ED WARDS s. BREWSTER,

No. STATE Street, Boston,
WILL draw BILLS OF EXCHANGE for the sum Of one
w pound and upwards upon Messrs WIGGIN & Co.,
London, charging five dollars the pound sterling.
Are perm tied 10 refer in Boston to
WILLIAM APPLETON g. Co, THAYER & BRo
A & A LAWRENCE a. Co, IL MILLS d Co.
~ Bills ofExchange drawn above, rates
can be had on application to SEWALL.
Bath, Dec IA, 1852. 27f