The weekly Placer herald., 1853-03-05
VARIETIES.


ing gentleman ride by, said to a COM
pallon, "That gentleman's face is longer
than his life." The traveller struck with
the singularity Of the remark, turned
it's meaning; upon which the youthful
Sheridan replied, 81 beg your pardon sir,
but the scriptures tell us that mans life is
but a span, and | am sure that your face
is twice that length"
A HARD H1T.-A gentleman at the As
tor House table, asked the person sitting
next to him, if he would please pass the
mustard. 'Sir," said the man, fdo you
mistake me for a waiter" ooh! no."
was the reply, 81 mistook you for gen
tleman.'
-gr Uss OF a WIFE. Richter says, ono
man can either live piously or die right
eously without q wife" A very wicked
bachelor Of our acquaintance says to this
go yes! sufferings and severe trials pur-
ify and chasten the heart"
A lecturer, addressing an audience,
contended with tiresome prolixlty, that
art could not improve nature, when one
of his hearers losing all patience, set the
room in roar by excIaiming, CHOW
would you look without a wig"
The New England Farmer inquiries,
"what cows should farmers keep?"-
Ful,bs suggests that they should keep
their own! as serious inconvenience often
arises from a propensity to keep those
belonging to other folks.
A Frenchman thinks the English Ian
guage is very tough-"Dare is look OUT"
he says, "which is to put out your head
and See: and look our, which is to haul in
your head and not for to see-just con-
: trarie."
When a witty English Government de-
faulter, after his recall, was asked, on his
arrival home, if be left India on account
of his health, he replied-"They do say
there's something wrong in the chest"
Cortez, in letter to Charles v, in il
iustration of the advanced state of society
among the Indians of Mexico, says that
"they begged in the streets like civilised
people"
Su necessary 10 fun W the mind that
philosopher says that if you should build
school houses without play grounds, no.
body would get beyond short division in
life time.
A negro boy was driving mule in ia
maica when the animal suddenly stopped,
and refused to bulge. "Won't go, eh ?"
(said the boy.) "Feel grand, duz you?
I s'nose YOU fogit your fader was Jack
ass?' ...
PuNrsHMENrs-T Freemasons who
violate the laws of the country in which
thew reside, are either suspended, ex.
cluded, or prescribed The Lodge, new
ertheless, never usurp the place of the
magistrate or judge, as it has been for
merly accused of doing. 1t rather directs
the attention of the officers of Justice to
those brethren upon whom remonstrances
are Of no avail, and whom it is compelled
to exclude.
MUsH.-It Is very common to make
mush by boiling it only few minutes
This is all wrong. 1t should be boiled
one or two hours, and if longer will do
no harm. 1t will be necessary to occa-
sionally add some water, to keep the mass
thin and prevent burning, land give it thor
ough stirring every five or ten minutes.
A new remedy for Hydrophobia has
been found. The wound must be washed
with warm vinegar, or tepid water, and
well dried. Then a few drops of muri-
attic acid must be poured on the bitten part
"Julius, suppose there are six chickens
in a coop, and the man sells three, how
many are there left"
"What time oh day was it,"
"What time oh day was it9 Why,
what de debhle has dat cot tO do wild il -,