The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1853-11-02

FuN IN PoLlrIcs.-Politics generally are
some mirth into them, and though the laugh
was mostly against US, we could not resist join
ing in the chorus. The following tho from the
Rochester Iniea, is as good cut at the New
York adamantines as can be got up in these
degenerate days. 1t is good all over, and
has as many sharp points as ap'rcupine
BUNKUM COUNTY,. n
TowNsHIr OF GAss. - DAS'hL ..
DARspLYKE, bein duly sworn due solomnly |
sware that ware duly apinted a Dligat from
the township and county aforesaid, to the SYRIA
cuse Convenshun Of the dimmercratic party, to
the Globe Hotel, WHARF | met akordinly havin
received my kerdenshalls the mite afnrehand
d rect from Broom County, which | was named
after; that | went down that sumo mite on the
kars no specin to see nothen exsept harmunny,
which hurd was sent from wher my kerr
drnshalls KUN frum When arriv thar, | was
shone up whar Gre zzle, Diigut from the Al
hurny Airgoos, an the rest US wor, and he
read over my name fum his list and sed wos
an aderman,yn. (Which spect is derived frum
the man is sed To c,ry froze adder in his
buzzum) When CroZzle had done kountn on
US, dun IL or Is Tins soze to be sartn, he red
over crate meny addermantyns frum the Air.
COOS which is ginouin, but didn't seem to have
| no names to anser 10 um.
| He sor err jerked on, the names and paushed
atween each one us thow he spectrd um in soon,
and Burdsa, (whooz mi fust cuzz,n) kinder
rolled up his ize and groned, and Story who at
forwards shoed me the sholder whar gen. burris
fired off a tumbler, sed twos F" id onplezunt,''
| (Which don't approve OFF, arter this hurd UNI
say the short boiZ was cum and at furst wos
glad ont koz we seemed short Of boiz in that
rune, and spozed they wood help fill up
Poorly sune Crozzle sed he ateerd Petur
Kagger would lay violent hans on him, which
he wunce dun, and he gcssed weed better or
gernze for ourselves whar Petur wont, aud Sto
| nv rubbid his shouldur and sed so tew Then
Burdsail mi cozzen, and Story war sent out to
| find some place large enuff for US, and tew
small for Petur and the short boiz besides a
| fnl dileryates from the smoll kounlie, which
Crozzle sed wood kontest our ssates. Why'e
they wos gorne, l went down in frunt of the
Globe, and than | seed John Vanboorin, who
was addressin of the short boz, which he iz=-
emt ,cun Of
| He had sthe more'n six feet long on his
rite shoulder which he was rubin with q whet-
stone; in his left han he held pitchfork, which
| | thot Civ him develsh aspect; in his rite han
he had the same pare Of pis'is no fit Willis
with He had bootcher knife between his
teeth, and large chaw of terbakker in his
| mouth, which he was tryin 10 squirt the JUICE of
thru the parler winder OF the sekond story inter
Barnes rite j. Ills speach wos short and tn
the pint; !" SEE he, bois,'' SEE he, and then he
| fred at Barnes, /" whoos afraid You lest take
car of yourselfs, and leeve Crozzle tn me- and
then he swung his sthe as tho CrozzIes time
| had KUN Jest then saw Crozzle a peeking
up threw the IS eratin.' He moshand tn me,
and we slid up stairs and locked dore, and Crozr
zle writ down Vanboorins speech, and witnisd
it, of which the abuv is zact cuppy. Then
my Cnzzen Burdsll and Story kun in, and sed
| they'd found dansin place over tn Britnal hal,
and we d better each won go out the back way,
lukin as inercenl as he kould, with peace Of
paper in his hand, and slip round tn the Hal
before John Vanboorln got his sithe whet up
| any sharper
| | went long Of Barnes, COZ he sed thar was
an ole quaker which was terryble tn fife, and it
mite take tn tn hold him. When we got
inter The dansin hoi, and Crozzled had konnted
off enuff tor fare sett of ker,llyuns, oil OF a
suddin we hnrd O. full rush of sumthin, and
the dures bussed opin, and in cum Vanboorin
and the short boiz, and them fellers wat kontest-
ed our seats-oll of which wezzent invited 10
that party, The Boil wos broke up at wonst
wos crowdd up to the platfrm, whar Barnz
was defend,n hsself again Skinner, who he'd
his hans in his pokiis feein for pistols. look.
ed round, and saw Crozzle lookin fur sumthin
under the Importers table, and Petur Kagger
chopin chlre with an ole meet AK, and calm
Cruzzle to KUN thar and rake his seat, which
he didunt du on this time my Cozzen Burd
sill, wos leenin again a chimny, payin on
Jew harp, with Jon see Mather hOldin on tn
his cote tails.
Then Gin Warred riz up to speek, but Cap
ii FINDERS, who was armed with won of Laws
muskets, pnted hearpit al his buzzum, and
demanded Baal Ia keep The piece, which ne was
goin tu du, but gnrol Clark seez d broad
soard that wos hangin 10 short boys thi, and
swung it rovnd his he'd till he lost his equearli-
brum, and grownded both his arms. Jist then
Jon Vonboorin discharged pocket pistil ner
his own mouth, and jumpt unto tabil and
krowed like San, Petrr, (or his roos'ir, for
get which,) which perduced a ginral constur-
nashum; then Jon dru his sithe out of his pokt,
and mad bio at 70 Of addermantyns which
was hnIdin up Ginral Clark, and the eend OF his
,ithe knocked the juice harp out OF mi Cozzen
Birdsills mouth, and stopt the moosic. Der this
time Barnz and Skinner had got eech uihrer
down into the cher and Barnz wos chawin
SINNERS ere, and Skinner was BORN inter Bar
nez left with tuth peek. Story stude lee
tie ,ck, rubin of his shoulder, witch he shoed
me, and Kochrun wos handn out firecrackers
tn the short boiz. Crozzle wos still holdin on
tn tabil leg, with one on Kaggers meet ak,
and luther rather cast down of the tn. The old
Quaker, which BaInz is so afeared on, wos dan. |
sin in his stockn feet on a base DRUM, and adm
to the ginral confushun.
At this pint hol.ered as lowd IA J kude for
awder, and soon perdused konsiderabil siluns.
Then Barnz and Skinner let go of won nuther,
and awerded the foal to be kolled, in which |
they emitted oil the Dilergats with rglar krd- |
denshals like me, which Crozzle, who had riz |
up again, sed wos konterary too parliamentary |
roofs, and gnral Warred seed that our real adj
dermantyn krddensh Is wos furgot and left out
on purps, his dandcr rz, and he moshuned to
adjourn. Kochrun, whoz bloody appetite warn't
satisfied, kolled for their ize and noze, but
Barns whoz ize had sufird enuff, warnt agoiT
to gin EN- chance at his noze, he seds thu
moshun was carrid, with SINNERS ere was Sd
chawd he kood't here. Then Barnz he dodged
by the old quakir, and addirmantyns went owe
to the Ladiz parlur Of the Goiobe Hotel, id
which wos no lad except the chambirmade
who held the dore for US. Vanboorin and the
short boiz chas,e US oil the way, and wood
slew several, if the chambermade hadn't told
EN- to stand back. Then Jun Maurice, who
had kept poorly still afore, seein how the cham
bermade stood by us, koled for the mare and
perlisc 10 purtect us, which was dun. Every
buddy sed he was sawry weed sposed ourselves,
but was glad no blud wos split, except sum port
wine on ginral Clark shurt buzzonl.
The gnral KUN tn and was maken speech
about the bois and gneral Peerse when the
meetin was intrupted by that old Quaklr KUN IN
and askin Barns to step out and ite him wicil ne
didn't du, but sent perlite note exkoosing HIM
self on the grownd that his life was wanted tn
TAX Kurby with, The Mare and perlis havin
druv off oil bu, the real Adders" the mee-
tin wary quiet which PROVES it wood have bin
at the Hol if none but adders had got in
Crozzel and sum others wos sent out with life
preseryers buxlid round their vitle parts to make
a ticket aud rezzylushins and they rported
sett witch Crozzel ses was natural adders, and
would stick to i, as long there was drop of
blud in the dimmykrat;c buzzums The
re zzy lushns don't rekelect exsept won, 10 tax
Kurby with, wich we thood of dun or the spot,
if Vonboorin aad the short boiz hadent tit u.s.
1t was arter midnight when wee got threw, and
we tuck the fast franc bekoz the Mare said the
Quakir wos lookin for Barnz, and Vonboorn
wos turnin for Kagir to grind his ak, which
made noise vary gratin TO Crozzles feelings.
This is tru statement which have red to
nv Unkil Dickinson who ses he will Sware TO
it, and get OKorner and green Brunsln to