The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1853-09-07
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The DAILY DISPATCH

nieh IL below sTAIHs.--One Of tb, -;-1..,
things that we have seen in rn.px a. .1''ess
in the New Orleans Crescent We csnro, -.
whole yarn because OF its length, hut III,
outline. 1t seems that two portly Tex,n =
p, and H. who belonged to the .inlard -,
had been stopping at one of the chief bo,s,. Z.
some days, and spending their time in ,ar,,r;~-
juleps and making acquaintance. They were rs
gular "bloods' with plenty of money aud excelsnt
appefites for all the various solvents kept IN u.
bar, which they patronized freeiy-gettins intro.
duced TO every body, drinking with every body,
and on tiebest of terms with themselves and eyerv
body else. They took about every other man they
met for steamboat Captain, and in their strolls
about town, tell in with one Jones-Captain Jones
of course-a fine looking fellow, capitally dressed
sporting his gold watch and rattan, and mbbing ju
leps and brandy straight, with the utmost grace
and alacrity Jones had money. but not copper
would our flush friends allow him to pay. Jones
was wit and wag too, and such ''good fellow
that our Captains could not do without him. He
dined with them, drank with them, drove down
the Shell road with Them in fact went through the
whole "course of sprouts, and all attheir expense
Jones was in clover-and enjoyed everything to
the top of his bent but exquisite delight, ecstasy
like his, must of necessity be of brief DURATION
We will let the Crescent give the denouement in
his own words.
Alas for the empire of Jones, and alack for the
willing bondage of his two friends the captainsi-
In an evil hour they met at dinner party which
the envious Fates decided should be their last
Oh the agonies OF that last feast! OH the chagrin
of the captains; and oh terrible the cerebral throes
of the amiable and hilarious Jonesi 81
The cup passed freely at that last feast Wit
flashed brilliantly while the wine flowed fast
Champagne ascended in showers into the chambers
of their brains and hook was powerless to keep it
down The captains kept cool, (considering,) but
Jones grew maudlin IN the extreme And as
Jones grew maudlin, he also became communica-
tive Jones thought he had long enough been the
recipient of his friends hospitality without giving
them some evidence of his gentility. So Jones
concluded TO divulge. He was gentleman, every
inch and his friends must have some testimony OF
the fact He had the papers and he would show
them. Oh Jones, what goose was you
Taking his friends aside Jones pulled from a
somewhat dark abyss in the tail of his longi allied
blue, an oleagineus and time worn receptacle that
had once been recognised as a pocket book and
opening its naultitudinous folds, drew therefrom a
greasy envelope, containing three pieces of folded
paper. '.Look at that-hic" said Jones, almost
drowned in his cups, and handing one of them to
Captain p, "Just-hic-look at that there
And you look at then" said he, to Captain H,
handing the other two. Jones went on talking to
Captain H, while Captain p read. The
face of Captain P, grew long he read but
Jones kept on talking to Captain H, he
could not read and therefore his face did, MT grow
long. ''Yes," said Jones, talking to Captain H,
"We'll go over to the Ocean Springs together, and
your board shant cost you the first red cent. I'll
fix it-me-Joues; for you see," said he, 'we'll
both sleep in the same bed. You'll help me to
wait on the table, and III make enough by shaving
the gentlemen to keep US in what little change we
want! Was Captain H astonishedl He was;
but he kept his countenance, nevertheless, for he
thought Jones had lost his senses, while Captain
p read the testimonial which Jones had hand
ed him. thread in this wise:
ST, Captain of the steamboat-, do Ger
tify ;hat-Jones has been employed on my boat
for six months; and if any body wants slick shave
and he does MT do the clean thing, I'll pay the da
mage ------------.-.-.----
The way the faces of these two Captains were
heightened out a caution to the patentees o
gutta percha. They did mt throttle Jones, nor tel
him how they had been taken in; but they left a
short notice. There was mutual mistake. Th,
two captains had mistaken Jones the barber for tn,
brag captain of a bully boat and the barber Jone
had mistaken the captains for brace of knights o
the razor and strap
Captain Il -s did MT stnY, to read tho other twt
letters handed him by Jones. They were testimo
malls in a like strain with the aboyeI