Muscatine journal. [volume] (Bloomington, Iowa) 1849-185?, 1853-06-17
Humorous.

--Whenisa soldier not soldier? When he is mus
tered.
They have got a very benevolent old gentleman in
Troy On Christmas he boiled a dishcloth and gave
the broth to the poor.
-"Well you two,little villians" exclaimed mother
scolding her brats f can make nothing of you, as
sure as | live, will tell both yo,u- fathrs."
When does young lady wish to win more than
seven beauX at once. When she tries to FAscINATE
(fasteneight.
A coroners jury recently returned verdict on the
body of poor fellow-"death by hanging-around the
the tavern"
Why is man who spoils his children like another
who builds castles in the air! Because he INDUCES
infancy too much.
90 shall die like hero, '',sad the coal when it was
being consumed, for shall mix with the ashes of the
CRATE"
Shall ! have your hand p said New York exquis-
lite to a belle, as the dance was about commencing.
with all my heart" was the soft response
A loafer whow was reading in the Old Testament This
phrase (: $50 to the bee, thou suggard'- thinks it
must be misprint, and that "bee" should be bed
There treesso tall lin Wisconsin that takes two
and boy to look to the top of them. One looks
till he gets tired, and another commences where he
left off.
Tommy, my son, what is longitude ?"
"a clothes line, daddy"
"Prove it, my son.
because it stretches from pole to pole"
Ike" said arusty old heather of the desk "how do
astronomers the distance to the sun' "Wby y
replied the Young hopeful they guesses &C oneourth
the distance, and multiples by four
The following toast was drank at celebration Of
the 4th of July:
1.-The memory of the man who raised the Corn that
fed the Goose that bore the Quill that wrote the Dec
laration of Independence"
Pa said seven-year fellow, al guess our man
Ralph is a good Christian"
'How So my boy" queried the the parent.
"Why, pa, read in the Bible that the wicked shall
not live out half his days-and Ralph says he has Hr
ed oa ever since he was little boy"
--"Grandma said little girl with rosy cheeks. to
an elderly dame. "wliat makes it tighten 2" ''Wel
my darling, l 'spect the light from the blessed sun
gets lodged in the clouds, and when snag ont gets
together it busts The strakes that fly out the light
EN-, and the Dustin is the thunder"
my son. said Mr. Sprggins to his little son, who
devourng egg lit his desire to instruct his
SON. "my son, do you know that chickens come out
of eggs?" "Do they father ?? said the young hopeful;
II thought that eggs came out of chickens" The
elder Spriggns drew back from the table, sadly and
gazed on his son, then put on his hat and went to
work.
"A facetious fellow few evenings since, boosted
TO young lady, that by examining any head he could
tell 'tts lroeiict,es and faculties" Without saving
word, she went out and brought him cabbage head !:
saying that's fine head for you TO display your
knowledge upon' Not at all Disconnected, he told
its intellectual faculties like those of many young
ladies, also its native propensities. If an OPP
portnnty offered he had doubt it would greatly in
crease its species. 1t naturally more noted for
its yerdaney than anything else and in short was
better suteo for the kitchen than the parl0r. Which
had the best Of the joke leave for the reader to
decide.