The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1853-08-15

politan city, and every attempt to furnish practical
disroot a the opprobriun. has only resulted 10 so
Testing the intensity Of the gloom which il Lam
for the splendor Of genius.
very nome nt0us question is thus forced unor
our consideration, and divides itself naturally ike
an orderly sermon, into three distinct heads on each
OF which like Q prosy preacher, VIC shall ofer few
brief observations:
l. Is New York either witty or humorouss
=. Why is New York neither witty nor humorous?
.. Ought New York to be either witty humorous
In taking up the first head of this discourse, we
are very much in the condition Of Dogberry, aud
might address the prisoners at the bar in this
laIgnsge. Masters, it is proved already that you
are LITTLE better than false villains, and it will 20
s ear 20 Ds thought 80 shortly" For the proof
sh otner smaller and more hybrid specimens of
.he race, before we charged the offence upon
sronhie M ssr;e. any one who will take the
selves-and we defy them to examine them With
other than sad and serious feengs-will dis
cover tnat whatever merriment is excited by their
antlcs, Is due to the same causes which make us
'aueh at the grlmaces OF monkey. We do not laugh
a. any intrinsic excellence Of any sort in the DER
iormances of the poor ape but we laugh at the im
tation o. that which is not and can never be- It is
Inc partial and apparent resemblance. united with
concord-Hbich stimulates the visibility. Aud thus.
with the wit and humor of New York; the only ex.
th ior q smile is the palpable exposure of
be-" There is an anxious determination to reach a
point which is never attained, an eager ayidty To
produce an effect without approaching the impor-
to do something. without knowing exactly what, or
being able to achieve any thing at ALL The whole OF
the evolutions of the would-be witty New Workers.
amount to parade drill; they fire blank cartridges
with az much noise and smoke a. il they were firing
ball. they aim at nothing at a target of straw
with the same unquiet precision as il they meant
self approval as if they had rammed down anything
but wad.
After this philosophical explanation we pass to
the second head. and inquire why New York is
neither witty nor humorous We do not think that
simpler or more satisfactory answer can be given
than the simple declaration that posse comes before
esse or in vulgar paTlance that in all achievements
the first spell must 30 to spell able. This the New
York wits, since the time of Irving and Paulding
have never succeeded in doing. Their nearest ap-
proach to the mastery Of their task has been an
everlasting repetition of Pufer Hopkins 1t is not
want of indefhtgable Iaborers, that has rendered
New York neither witty nor humorous, but the
entire want of wit and humor and this unuckily is
one ofthose wants which cannot be supplied by the
bulls and bears of Wall street, the merchants of
Broadway, or the trade, commerce, and manufac.
teres of the city.
If any further explanation were required Of the
entire absence OF real Wit or genuine hum0r in the
city Of New York, abundant reasons might be as
signed. 1t would only be necessary to observe the
progress of the cumbr0us 0mnibnsses along the
crowded streets, and note the eager ANXIOUS impa-
examine the haggard earnestness Of physicgnomy
which characterizes the pedestrians on tue side
walks. The only indication Of wit Is the evident
certainty that they are at all tunes at their wits
end the only sign Of hum0r is the sigLet of Ill
humor stamped upon their care worn counteDances.
Stroll up the city and enter the municipal library
We speak Of it as it was some three years ago. 1t
may have been replenished for the Worlds Exhibit
ton. But at that time the great bibliotheca CON
tanned an Anticipated copy of Rees' CyclopGdia, a
mutlated edition Of the Statutes, and telescope,
proving OF least that the city fathers were far
seeing race, and were inclined to star gazing if not
prepared for any other intellectual exercises
Pass along Wall street, apd stop at the Offices Of
the brokers, and at their places Of gathering In
the fraud, chicanery, deception. and gambling. in
constant alterations of bluff bragg, &c. stocks may
rise but spirits must fall.
Enter the gorgeous shops on Broadway; silks,
satins and velvets. aces, diamonds, and perfumery
are very abundant and very attractive but the glitter
and splendor the handiwork Of mans hand, and
speak to the purse and not TO the mind Of man. The
only wit tolerabe in the city Of New York would be
to scrbe over the door OF the City ali the epitapn
OF Gil Perez, the liceDtiate.
Go into the factories. note the curious works in
iron; one fellow ia q big cylinder holding ha inner
above bis head against the rivets another on too
laundering away with sledse the s)norous
metal II is not by such collision that the sparks Of
wit are elected. nor is there much chance for humor
within hundred miles OF such an Internal den. We
might as well expect bon mot from PoyDhemus
anticipate the feast of reason and the flow OF sou
in the oiDly and noisy cave OF the Cyclops
The fruits Of the spirit are of coarse wanting in a
city so compile tely given up to the works of the
world, tie flesh, and tbe devil, which the sedulous
inhabitants zeaiously renouDce every Sunday, and
nois jealousy practise every other day in the week
Ii would thus be equaly improper and uconsis-
tent that New York should be either witty or hu-
morous, anS no deiberation or effor; Will suffice {,
produce such an imrruprsty. The Ee7ic: ~ ihs
city watches the spi.tSal wesA-s a iAS gaSas
and the only deiccuol which j A:sr-ssss q. sally
Bottom is the transformation a his ve-T a'rrs.-
place head into tat = jsdksss; Izs aaig asfa5ue
OF any attempt at divine melody j. i9s hrEF 4 /
donkey the only wit tolerated IL New YORK ssAa
Donkeyism.
Thus it appears that New York Is neither witty
nor humorous FOR the same son that owl Is no:
sky lark: because it is not After this inieTprets.
tion, reasons become as plentiful as blsckberries,
and the allegations of the Albany Journal may be
thrown into the same bushelbasket with the rest,
to be used when wanted.
Thirdly and lastly, ought New York to be either
witty or humorous? We see 30 use for any such vo-
which it has pleased God to call it. There has been
divine cali to either wit or bumour but an ire.
sistibe call the other way. Nothing should be suf-
fered 10 interfere with the manifest destiny of the
Gothanites. The realm Of dllness and Of Mammon
is their own and they should not follow after strange
gyds. They have AZ little need OF either wit or hui
NOR as our ghg brethren have of fnan ;ial, econo-
mical, or political discernment.
BRUTAL Observation-Disclosures DISAPPEAR.
ANCf.-On the 9th instant, about o'clock p. NJ,
two men, brothers named Amos and Allen Smith,