The Ohio organ, of the temperance reform. (Cincinnati, [Ohio]) 1853-1854, 1853-03-04

Could reYenl 10 you one thouSandtn
part of the anguish-the intolerable
torture-the unmitigated horror, from
which my poor heart has suffered, for
the past four weeks, you would be as
tonished that a person, cursed with
such overwhelming agony, could live
moment. In the visions Of the
night, horrible scenes have been pre-
sented in all their terors, and have
heard in the darkness of the night, an
awful curse pronounced against me by
the Almighty.
One night in particular, after hav-
ing fallen into a restless slumber,
heard my name pronounced by a per-
son who, thought, stood over me.
"J-h," said the voice, and it
sounded strangely like my fathers well
remembered tones. A high and
holy mission was given to you, but
you have rejected it. The voice of
God you have not obeyed. Therefore
the things that belong to your peace, /,
are forever hid from your eyes,
The Gospel is hid from them that are
lost" Oh! how startingly distinct
that word "Lost! Lost!' fell upon
my ear awoke in terror, and started
wildly from my bed The cold per-
spiration was starting from every pore,
and my whole being was trembling
with despair. knelt down by my
bed and prayed. OH how fervently
| prayed to die; yes to die! felt
that eternal torture was the portion of
my cup. and the sooner was in hell,
the sooner | would know the intensity
of those torments, to which | was
consciously doomed. But like the
Corsair of Byron, in praying for the
thunder bolts Of heaven to strike him
dead, God needed not my frantic sup
| plications, and l lived.
/ Again in my fitful slumbers have |
seen my affectionate mother, bent in
anxious solicitude over me. Her coun-
tenance was pale, and her eyes were
| red with weeping. / asked her the
\ cause OF her suffering. She gaveme
no answer, but in her countenance
! there was an expression of mingled
sorrow and affection, SO deep, so un.
/ utterably eloquent of the SOULS deep
/ emotion, that it fastened upon nv
heart with power that can never be
/ destroyed.
/ Ihave seen you E--e, in my mad
dening dreams. You did not upbraid
me nor reproach me. You seemed to
understand how had fallen, and you
weepingly sympathized in my suffer-
ings. You know the rock upon which
split, and while you mourned and
prayed over my wretched apostacy
from the faith, once delivered to the
saints, you kept pointing to a beacon
light afar off in the distance heard
your words, and they are vivid in my
memory now. You pointed me to
that star that arose in the east, on the
wandering inebriate, under whose gem
ial influence | might again be restored.
You pointed me to that brighter star
that arose on the night of the world,
to guide the benighted sons of earth,
to holier heaven, My reply was, it
is too late! am ! not already damned!
My dear brother, this unnatural
strife cannot last long. Ny appetite
is almost gone. Sleep ''balmy ma
ture, kind restorer," has fed from my
couch. My whole being is Frustrated
in the dust. The grave will soon be
uncovered to receive me. He'll from
beneath, is moved to meet me at my
coming. When you look upon my
grave, remember the rock upon which
l split, and warn others that ''they
come not to this place."
Farewell,
Yours, --
III = - SER III