Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1853-07-20
MISCELL A N Y.
A Yankee Story.

The funny columns in the English pa
pers derive more of their "stuff for smiles
from the journals of this country, than from
any other source. We find in one of them
this ludicrous anecdote of the "Bewltched
Clock" which was quite new to US:
About half-past eleven o'clock on Sun
day night, human leg, enveloped in blue
broadcloth, "might have been seen" enter
ing Deacon Cephas Barberry's kitchen
window. The leg was followed, finally, by
the entire person of a live Yankee, attlred
in his Sunday -go-to-meetin clothes. ltw
in short, Joe Mayweed who thus burglarl-
ously won his way into the deacons kltch-
en-.
"Wonder how much the old deacon made
by orderin' me not to darken bis doors a
gam :" solioquised the young gentleman
promised him wouldn't but didn't say
nothin' about winders. Winders is just as
good as doois, eff there amt no nails to tear
your trousers onto. Wonder if Sally'll
come down? The critter promised me-
I'm afeard 10 move about here, cause
might break ny Sims over somethn' nuth-
ur, and wake the old folks. Cold enough
to freeze Polish bear here. o, here comes
Sally
The beauteous maid descended with a
plea ant smile, tallow. candle and box
of lucifer matches. After receiving rap
turous greeting, she made up rouslng tre
in the cooking-stove, and .he happy couple
sat down to enjoy the sweet interchange oil
VOWS and hopes. But the course OF true
love ran no smoother in old Barberry
kitchen than it does elsewhere, and Joe,
who was Just making up his mind to treat
himself to kiss, was startled by the voice
of the deacon, her father. shouting from
his chamber door :--"Sally! What are
YOU getting up in the middle OF the night
for?
"Tell him it's most morning." whispered
Joe.
IL can't tell fb !" said Sally.
"I'll make it truth, them" said Joe
and, running to the huge, old-iashloned
clock that stood in the corner, he set 1t at
five.
Look at the clock, and tell me what
time it is" cried the old gentleman.
"lts five, by the clock, answered Sally;
and, corroborating her words, the old clock
struck FIVE.
The lovers sat down agair and resumed
their conversation. Suddenly the stair
case began to creak. "Goody gracious Z
It's fathet," exclaimed Sally.
"The deacon by thunder!" cried Joe.
"Hide me, Sally -
"Where can / hide you:" cried the dis
tracted girl.
"Oh, know" said he. "Tll squeeze
into the clock-case.' And, without anoth-
er word. he concealed himself in the case,
and closed the door.
Tie deacon was dressed, ard sitting
himself down by the cooking-stove, pulled
out his pipe, lighted it, and commenced
smoking deliberately and calmly. "Five
O'Clock, eh p said he. "Well, shall have
time to smoke thee or four pipes, and then
I'll 90 and feed the critters" ;"
Hadn't you better feed the critters fust
sir" suggested the dutiful Sally.
mo; smokin' clears my head, and wakes
me up replied the deacon, who seemed
not whit disposed to hurry his enjoy
ment.
Burr-r.r-r-whizz-ding ding ding
ding went the clock.
'Tormented lightning cried the dea
con, starting up, and dropping his pipe on
the stove what'n creations that :"
"It's only the clock striking FIVE - SAID
Sally, tremulously.
Whizzl ding ding! ding! went the
clock furiously.
"Powers of marcy!" cried the deacon
'Strikln' five! it's struck hundred al
ready"
"Deacon Barberry" cried the deacon
better half, who had hastily robed herself
and now came plunging down the staircase
IN the widest state of alarm, "what is the
matter with the clock :"
Goodness only knows" replied the old
man. "It's been in the family these hun
dred years, and never did know it to car
ry on so afore,"
Wh,zzl ding! ding ding! went the
clock again.