Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1853-12-30
From Punch's Pocket Book for 1854
Little Lecture addressed to my Dears.

BY AN OLD THE WORLD
My dears, Love is like Chancery it is deal
easier to get into it than to get out again There
are thousands of ways for the former but as for The
latter, it can't be done noways
" axe my advice, my dears-never believe q man
before marriage, and never trust him afterwards
IL men, my dears, were to pay, like servants,
or everything they broke, they wouldn't be so fond
on oreakng thelr hearts for every pretty girl they
saw. The fortune of Rothschild couldn't stand,
my dears, against such ruinous amount of break
ages Why have known mans heart break as
often as an American bank, and vet he would omen
the next day with the brass plate on his face
on winch you could plainly read assurance and
MS heart would go On Issuing the false notes
as before Besides, what becomes of all their broken
hearts, should like to know Where do thew all
go to Along with the old moons, I sunposo or
they may be keeping company, there's no knowing
Where with all the pins that lost, each heart
helng stuck through with pin, like the curious in
Fects in q museum
I" There's no need to tell you, am sure nv dears,
about choosing a husband. A woman's Instinct
generally guides her in those little matters But
this will tell you that husbands differ as much as
geese; but the softest mind is always the worst
ne softer your husband, the more pliabe you will
ind hlm and all the easier for you 10 twist him
around your little finger If husbands trusted more
to their wives and less to themselves. there would
oe more happy marriages; but, until they learn
what Is due to our sex and fully prepared to pa
1t, that happy balance will never exist in q house
hold which, to the husband, should be the source of
as muc enjoyment large balance is at his bank
efs but ct present the wife is not allowed to have
any share or interest in the one or to participate in
the other.
9 will conclude. my dears, with giving you a few
rules with regard to the choice Of husbands in gen
eral, and though, my dears, have never ventured
On the stormy seas of matrmony myself" (here the
tar lecturers voice slightly trembled with emoton)
" still, nave watched from the haven of single
DleSsedneSs, many Of the squalls and breezes that
nave taken place on them. and have derived no small
knowledge from the numerous shipwrecks I have
witnessed in consequence Of them, and this knowl.
edge am only too willing to impart to all those
who are anxious to embark for the United States
" shall conine my observations, my dears to
the small circle of my experience Of men, such as
have studied them round the tea table.
" 1t q man wipes his feet on the door-u mat before
coming INTO the room, you may be he will make
out, you may be sure he will make a stupid hus-
band
&" If a man puts his handkerchief on his knees
whilst taking his tea, you may be sure he will be
prudent husband.
- In The same way, always mistrust the man who
will not take the last piece Of toast Sally Lunn
but prefers waiting for the next warm batch 1t is
unlikely he will make greedy, selfish husband,
with whom you will enjoy brown at dinner,
no crust at tea, no peace whatever at home.
- The man, my dears, who wears goioshes and IS
careful about wrapping himself up we'll before VEN
turing into the night air, not untrequenty makes
rood iRyqMla M husband that mostly stops at home and
it boiling over, will not fail, my dears, in his mar
ried state in exercising the same care IN always
keeping the pot boiling
sTho man who doesn't take tea, ill-treats the
cat takes snuff and stands with his back to the ire
is brute whom | would not advise you, my deorS
to marry upon any consideration, eth for love or
money but most decidedly not for love
s. But the man who, when tea Is over, Is dcoVef
ed to have had none is sure to make the best bus
band Patience like his deserves being rewarded
of the best Of wives and the best Of mothers
lv dears when you meet with such man, do you
utmost to marry him. In the severest winter III
wonld not mind going to bed first
! EHnrc the lecturer concluded. and the sevCTa
Young ladies retired to their respective avocatIonS
"When man. observes the HouSehotd U0Td