Hannibal journal. (Hannibal, Mo.) 1852-1853, 1852-10-07

chronological Dsmooracy-A Lecture on Heads.
A few nights since, curiosity led me TO attend
the meeting OF our Democratic friends, at the
City Hall, when they adopted their Constitution.
wislfedto learn by what species Of argument
they could support the claims Of Franklin Pierce
for tie Presidency, here in Missouri, West
ern slave Statei Of Franklin Pierce, opposed TO
Internal Improvements opposed TO the protec
ton of American interests, and whose Southern
feelings, are, 10 say the least of them, very
suspicious, looming but dmly beneath heavy
New Hampshire Fogg. But Of all arguseni
they fought shy; they did not attempt TO storm
these whig entertainments. Either they feared
their democratic charger might stumble, or their
piebald leader 1ant in the advance. They got
no farther than the preiminaries of warfare, at
leastrso far as the present contestis concerned;
but the old Revolution was fought over and over
asuin fortunately without much fainting or
bloSdshed, but with all the grmdiloqucnce of the
most superlative democratic thunder. The late
war, some how or other, they suffered to 90
Scott free, and We heard no reverberoton Of the
guns Of Lpndy's Lane or Chippewa. OF pres
ent issues, and questions Of future policy, they
seemed 10 be utterly oblivious, and, like Rip
Van Wrinkle, when aroused from his long sleep,
the ghostly membranes Of other days, Revo-
lutonary tories, alien and sedition laws, dead
and buried banks, and other antiquities, occll-
pied their thoughts and usmped the place Of
living realities. ifthcy departed from this train
of argument (pcr courtesy shall call it so) it,
was only 70 illustrate, now and tllcn with am
ecdotes. They appeared TO be better received
by the audience than the disquisitions upon an
Client history, although some Of these, even, had
the musiy odor Of age about them, as though
they had seryedihrough many an old campaign,
and were only now waiting 10 be pensioned of
for former services. But Mat, / believe, "cl
Pa9gqnt" is against the Pierce policy. With
one Of them, however,I was not little amused
and the ready innocency with which its appica-
bility was received, both by the speaker and
his " untcrrifcd " hearers, satisfied me with the
justice of the application, lie said he had once
attended chronological lecture, where the lcc-l
turor professed 10 be able TO tell all the Wings
present from The Democrats, by simply feeling
their heads. The lecturer said the wing heads
would be found covered with bumps, by which
their aspiring dispositions, their wish 10 reach.
place and power, were indicated, while the
democratic heads (what an awful quiz this lee
turer must have been were all smoctho and
even, and showed they did not desire TO rise
above their fellows. This equivocaI com pli. |
ment was retailed by the speaker, and received
by the democracy with SO much gusto that |
wondered the same idea which struck me did
not occur to some of their minds, viz: how an
they might modify and improve the
title Of their meeting by adopting the dea-"The.
Democratic Flat Head Association Of Mason
Township! How tremendously it sounds
and, with Franklin Pierce as candidate, how
truly appropriate! But was that wicked WAC
Of lecturer quizzing or not 1t strikes me
there is some truth in the idea The wings
have long been charged with being aristocrats
which means, suppose, in this country, that
they possess wealth and lis concomitant adyan-
tases as education, knowledge, influence sc.
Now, IN our social scale, everything seeks and
hnds ITS level, and il Phrenology is true, while
those with bumps, always striving to better
Their condition, go UP, those with none, the
Flat Heads, 20 down; for the possession off
bumps, Phrenology has demonstrated to Indicate, {
both the possession Of natural powers and heir
cultivation by education Nor is this TO be re- !
GREETED, Tor it is always found that those who
strive faithfully TO improve their own condition,
oonduce most to the general welfare Of those
around them; for Providence has wisely ordered
hat our daily interests should be 80 involved
with those Of others, that even in the gratifca-
ION OF our natural selfshness the benefits of orr
'ctlons should be widely extended This idea
'pphcs toall the great interests Of life, moral as
veil as political. Il applies to those great CUES
ions OF policy the democratic orators would not
lebaie- Protection and Internal Improvement.
man with bumps (for if he is a Flat He'd he
vail want nothing but hog and hominy) wants
railroad near him 10 benefit, in the first place,
rs own private Interests. lie puts all his b
jumps TO work, and after while he obtains his 7
nd; the iron horse snorts past his door, ready
perform all his wishes But even his Fiat l.
lead nelghJor, who, hithorto, had been content G
nth his old fashioned OK team facilities, and 4
oud lend no hand TO his wing friend, is h
qualify benefited the fact is he is benefited y
ore: nc catches a new idea--a bump begins TO a
trout on his turnip shaped Uranium he sees Al
ore OF life; gets the papers; his bumps grow, u
ID finally if he is an honest man. he becomes :,
wing. This, perhaps, is one Of the objections -
the Democratic leaders TO the Internal In al
eyemTent System. They fear their strong. be