Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1852-01-01

and lace IN some cold raln-Watel
;. and streaked it off to bed. But
= couldn't sleep a wink; my hand
panied me so that l had TO keep
blowing on 'em TO keep from beller
!. ing, so says ! to my wife, says L
"Susan, hadn't you better up an,
put your clothes to soakl"
"Ho, h.u-m," saws she, rubin,
her eyes with her thumb joint ant
kind O. winking as if she was hal
, asleep. "Yes, John, | guess / had
but how long have you been awakel'
"Oh, sometime" says |, blowing
my hands, and digging my legs witt
my toe nails all the time to keeE
from groaning; "but get up now
Susan, do, dear, or you will be late
with your breakfast, and I've got tc
go out of town this morning on i'm.
portant business"
"If that's the case," says she, "l'll
certainly hurry"
"You may depend upon it, gentle.
men, was in a mighty uncomfortable
fix about that timel wanted to
groan like dying horse, and have
something cooling wrapt around my
fingers; and then again, didn't
want to make anv noise, till wife had
seen how nice had fixed her things.
Well, wife she hurried and dressed
herself and went out in the Kitchen
to fiji up the tub, and in a few min
utes ! overheard her say TO herself,
says She
"Good Heavens ard earthl What
does all this meanl Inever put these
things to soakl--John! John! Get up
and come here, do"
81 am under strong impressions,
gentlemen, that this customer wasn't
very slow in his movements about
that time; for in less than forty Sec
onds, was there, and says l.
"What's the matter, Susan?--
What's the matterl"
"Why do look here," says she,
"somebody has put all my best clothes
in tub, and then put something on
them which has entirely ruined
Them"
"Ha, ha. haI'' says !, "well Susan,
| suppose might as well own up TO
the joke at once, for my hands ache
so that ! can't hold in any longer
It's nothing but ,Dashing fuid, and
it cleans the clothes without any rub
bing, and its well it does. for no pair
Of hands in this world could stand il
to do the rubbing. got up this
morning while you were asleep and
done up the whole washing, and hung
part of 'em out on the fence 10 dry"
awhile | vas saying this, wife she
took little stick, and in trying TO lift
it out Of the tub one of her-or that
is-one of her garments-by gingerl
the tarnal thing burst in twol right
through the middleI one half holding
on to the stick and tother half falling
back into the tub Although was
sufferin' from my burnt hands, and .
was as mad as a Green Mountain cat
amount, at what the internal fluid |
had done, | couldn't keep from laugh
ing at that moment, if I'd a died for
it."
"WTe took a peep at the clothes
on the fence-calIed up the young
doctor to dress my hands, and then
set down and had a good CRYING spell.
The doctor hurried into the room.
and after seeing wife a sitting in the
rocking chair crying, and me a walk
ing the room and groaning like a
fall wind in a grave yard, says he
"In the name of calomel and hot
ialep what's the matter nowr'
"Nothing particular" says !, "onIy
I've burnt up all the clothes liz the
house and both Of my hands. with a
bottle of thunderin' washing fluid
that Pve been experimenting with"
The Doctor looked at my hands,
and SAYS he
"Where's the bottlel'' a
"Out on the doorstep" says |.
"The Doctor went and looked at
The bottle, and then went out in the
and took peep at the old
Deer-bottles and backing boxes, and
after swearing a little to himself,
came back into the kitchen, and says
ne
"WelI, you have immortaiized
yourself, and no mistake, and you
hall be known hereafter as the $
WASHING FLUID ExPERIMENTER." :
"What in thunder are you laugh e
ng ati"-says l. 4
"Why," SAYS he, "your bottle OF
washing fluid stands out on the shell
where you put it, | suppose, and you 7
lave used a quart and a half OF
he best quality OF oil of oitriOl, that s
I've had on hand these six months" s,
"GentIemen, I'm man that don't
lse profane terms only in extreme t
Eases, but II | didn'tmake the atmos- a
,bere in that room blue for a few Z
moments, then twas because didn't Z
NOW how. went and smashed up