The mountain sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1844-1853, 1852-03-25
Real Life--A E.st at Husbands.


The following is one Of the best things thGe
we have met with for long time. We fear,
moreover, that it contains more truth than poe
try, although of course, there are exceptions
The author evidently has had some experience
in the matrimonial line, and while this sketch
is true to life in many particulars, it is quite
possible that the other side would also furnish
very amusing and instructive picture. VIII not
some Of our correspondents try hand at it
AUNT HETTY ON HIATRIMoNY.
Now, girls, said Aunt Hetty, put dowa your
embroidery and worsted work, do something
sensible, and stop building air-castes, and talk
ing of lovers and honey moons it makes me
sick, it's perfectly antimonial. Love is a farce
-matrimony is humbug husbands are do
mestic NapOleons, heroes, Aexanders, signing
for other hearts to conquer after they are sure
Of yours The honey moon is short-lived as q
lucifer snatch after that you may wear your
wedding dress at the wasL-tub and your night
cap to meeting, and your husband wouldn't
know it. You may pick up your own pocket
handkerchief, help yourself to a chair and split
your gown across the back rezching over the
table to get piece of butter, while he is laying
in his breakfast as II it was the last meal he
should eat this side OF Jordan; when he gets
through he will aid your digestion, (while you
are slipping your first cup of Coffee by inqui-
ring what you'll have for dinner, whether the
cold lamb was all ate yesterday if the charcoal
is all out, and what you gave for the last green
tea you bought Then he gets up from the ta-
bic, lights his cigar with the last evenings pa
per that you have not had n chance to read
gives you aheadache for the afternoon, and Just
as his coat tail vanishing through the door, apo
logises for not doing ''that errand" for you YES
terday-thinks it doubtful if he can do it to-day
$50 pressed lrih business Hear of him at
II o'clock, taking an ice-cream with some ladies
at Finton's while you are at home new lining
his coat-sleeyes. Children by the ears all dav,
can't get out to take the air, feel as crazy as q
fly in adrum husband comes home at night,
mods Chow dye do, Fam boxes Charleys
ears, stands little Fanny in the corner sits down
In the easiest chair IN the warmest corner
puts his feet up over the CRATE, shutting out all
the fire, while the baby's pug-nose grows blue
with the cold; reads the newspaper all to him
SELF solaces his inner man with a hot cup of tea
and just as you are laboring under the halluci-
nation that he will ask you to take a mouthful
of fresh air with him, he puts on his dressing
gown and slippers, and begins to reckon up fam
lily expenses F! after which he lies down on the
sofa, and you keep time with your needle, while
he snores till 8 o'clock. Next morning ask him
to leave you ga little money" he looks at you
as if to be sure that you are in your right mind,
draws sigh long enough and strong enough to
initiate pair of bellows, and asks you ''what
you want with it, and if half dollar won t do,
Gracious king as if those little shoes, and
stockings, and petticoats could be had for half q
dollar Oh, girls set your affections on cats
poodles, parrots or lap-dogs-but let matrimony
alone. It's the hardest way on earth of getting
hving-you never know when your work is
done up. Think of carrying eight or nine chill
dren through the measles, chicken-pox, rash,
mumps, and scarlet fever, some of 'em twice
over; makes my sides ache to think of it, Oh,
you may scrimp and save, and twist and turn,
and dig and delye. and economise AND DIE, and
your husband will marry again, and take what
you have saved to dress his second wife with
and she'll take your portrait for fre-board,
and-but what's the use of talking I'll war
rant every one of you'll try it, the first chance
you get there's a sort of bewitchment about it
somehow. wish one half of the world warn't
- Olire Branch