Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1852-11-17
A wife ON a "Bust."
FUNNY SCENE ON A srEAmBoAr.

y
the ladies cabin was a scene not put down in the
bills. It was near midnight; the dingy chamber
maid entered the sssanctum, sanctorum," where
fifty Of the softer SEX lay softly snoozing, bearing
along with hera well dressed young woman, whose
look and manner showed fourth the effect of sun
dry libations. As the good-hearted honest color
led girl proceeded to disrobe the fair worshipper of
the rosy god, the woman startled with dreadful
,scream-awakening the whole cabin with her
esies-and declared that she had been robbed of
all her money, a cameo, and gold watch. Here
was xmuss. !"
so, o, o, dear! o." shrieked the boosy fair
one. ---zz
Slope in massy there amt any thieves in here"
piped forth an old spinster.
.sMy gold watch and my rich cameo, or
sobbed the bereaved woman. sss
.sWho stole 'em!'' again enaured the waiting
call my money, too--boo-hoo! what shall
dog" cried out the disconsolate loser. 7zt -
81 seed q man in white hat with his arm all
round your waist on the upper deck, bout half an
hour ago guess p'raps twas him-I shouldreckon
pretty likely twas!'' said the chambermaid, sfi-
ingly.
Twas hint ,ras hsm.' cried the delinquent
fair one, buried her flushed face in her hankerehef
"What will my husband say if he hears of it
good soul-he that gave me my watch and my
cameo-and the money, too, to come on from
Savannah to see my parents down east. o, O.,
dear me.
"Good for nothing huzzy!'' squealed out tooth
less dame, as she showed her head from lower
berth,-sasarved ye just right, ye jade, ye; mar
ried woman letting strange man hug ye. What
will this world come TUT
81 seed you drink from his BOTTLE" continued
the chamber maid.
s.Boozy, too, eha" sarcastically spoke the old
dame. Wall, yum, eff you amt purity wo-
man.. Now. who'll go agin the lker law!' Sol
saying, the aacient dame leaped from her berth
and funbling her dress, pulled from the abyss
of deep pocket large sized tin backing box,
well filed with Scotch yaller and from its con-
tents regaed her capacious and uncleanly nostrils
with more than one bouncing pinch of the titilat-
ing powder s=sssss szsszszz essess, ~
..Boo-hoo!'' cried the unfortunate daughter of
Eve; 81 can never face my husband again unless
I get my money and jewels!'' She then began
to tear her hair, throw her eyes and limbs about,
utter strange words and sayings, clmaxing the
TRADE BY hoping the boat would sink with herself
and all on board Silence! - ejaculated grave
and middle-aged lady-swoman you know not
what you say. Who knows but all of us will be
drowned before morning, and then what avail
would be your trinkets!',
AZ. III
last word had escaped from her lips, ding, dong9
sounded the bell, and the steam cut off from the
engine, rushed with wild unearthly yell, from
the escape pipe the boat was stopped, just in sea-
son to avoid running into craft. The women
were panic-stricken.
81 hope we will be preserved.'' tremblingly
spoke OF the company.
sHoly virgin, guard us!,' screamed an Hibernian
damsel4s
:" 'Tis a Judgment sent upon US for you, she
Jonah.s said the cross, snuffy woman, spitefully,
as she glanced upon the delinquent fair one.
But the staunch boat, under her skillful pilot,
was again under way, and all was right once more.
The man in the white hat was to be hunted up
(by the way, how is it that these white hats are so
very mischevious among the softer sex. Every
firt can boast of light colored beaver-the drab
tile Is always in mischief)-he was soon found,
and without any hesitation dsgorged the plunder.
The fair but easy proprietor gave one scream of
delight she reganed her lost treasures, pressed
them to her bosom, pronounced panygeric upon
her dear, absent husband-powed that no other
man should hug her again-then in the exhuber-
ance of her joy, turned her low, sweet voice to a
ditty of thanksgiving. The ssshow' was now
ended, the audience crept back to their berths,
and silence reigned one more.
The lady who related the facts to me, had
bird's-eye view of the whole affair, from an upper
berth; she declared it was the richest melange she
had ever witnessed. -
= aOh dear. oh dear, said Aunt Dolly, as
she pulled the New York Day Book little near
er her glasses, "what awful suicides them French