Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1852-07-28
Mlisrellaneous.


AshM Est
The Model Hidouer begins to Think Of
No = before the weed on his lat loses its
first gloss. May be seen assisting young
gnls to find seat in church, or ordering carts
oif dry crossings, for pretty feet that are wait
ing to pass over is convinced he 'nerer
uds made to lire alone Ills sedildren
must be locked after" or, If he hasn't any
he would like to be looked after himself!
Draws deep Sigh every tnYe dress rus
ties past, with a femole woman in it Is We
ny particular about the polish OF his boots.
and the ct Of his glove; thinks he looks We
ry interesting in black Don't walk out in
public much ,rith his children; when he
does, takes the youngest. Rovives his old
taste for moonlight aud poetry pities single
men with bis heart; wonders how they ccn-
trive to exist Repraves little John for say
ing Pa so loud, (when be meets him in the
street Sets his face against the practice
Of women going home "alone and unprotected"
irom crening meeting. Tells the widows.
his heart acnes for EN- Wonders mhich Of
ali he sees. be shall make pp his mind to mar
ry. Is sorry he shall be obliged to disop-
point 'em all bat one has long since prefer
red orange blossoms lathe cypress wreath
Starts up some fine day and re furnishes his
house from garnet to cellar !, hangs his first
did blanket aud marries aalayma for his
oldest daughter
The Model tido,o wouldn't wear her veil
upon any account Thinks her complexion
locks iairer than ever. 10 contrast with her
sables Sends back her new dress. because
the fold Of Grape ON the skirt isn't deep
mourning enough Stealfastly refuses to
look in the direction Of a dress coat for
one week ! Wonders il that handsome Tomp-
kins who passes her window every day, is in
sane enough to think she will erer marry a.
gain! Is fond .. drawing off her glove, aud
resting her little white hand on her black bon
net thinking it may be suggestive Of an carly
application Tor the same. Concludes to give
up the loneliness of house keeping. ard try
boarding at hotel Accepts Iompkin's IN
vtation to 'atterd the children's concert"
gust 10 please little Iommy) Tommy is
delighted and thinks Tompkins "a very kind
gentleman to give hmm SO much candy and
so many bonbons. His mamma begins TO
in the shape of protracted Conversations,
walks, rides, calls. &c (Sbe cries a title,
when Tommy asks her it she hasn't forgotten
to plant the flowers IN a certain cemetery.)
-Tompkius comes H.. and thinks her lpvclier
than ever, smiling through her tears. Tom
my is Stnt out into the garden to make dirt
pies r. (to the utter demolition of new iroek
and trousers. aud returns very unexpectedly.
to find his mampa's checks rery rosy, and
TO DO tossed up in the air by Tompkins, who
declares himself his nelr papa +
The MDdel Clerk has bis hair and whis
sers curled and perlumea every morning /;
wears seal ring on his little finger, and no
mistake has a praisewrthy ambition to
wear bigger bow iu his cravat than any man
of his inches on the street; never budges
the length Of a yardstick. to wait on female
customer who is neither young nor pretty.
(unless his employer stands by.) Makes II
a eiut OF conscience to pass over to Irish
women aud children all the crossed 'topcnsa-
pennyS' aud questionable quarters aud nine
peuees thinks If great proof OF dry goods
genius to ''cfaek up some obsolete shawl or
dress. to the uniui,iacd, as the very latest
fashion THE only one To be had in the city
always tells cash to be slow as possible
when pretty woman stands waiting for
Charge Is ohscqnieus as a laekey to the
lady whose horses stand prancirg at the door,
spinning somerset. double quick time. over
the counter Ito tie damage of bis iayorite
rlnglet) in order to pick NY her pocket hand
kercbief Believes in cigars, cologne, cream
roses, soft soap" and swearing rattaps,
rope dancers, Roman punch. aud rows; :
puts all he earns on his own adorable person
and 'never saw the country, pom homer!
The Model Doctor owns a gold headed
cane. and drives uicious horse through the
most freqnented parts Of the city, sure TO
make patient in the person of some tsnldeky
child or deaf I'D lady on the track, who
"ieouldn'l get out OF the way Always
magnifeS the danger of the patient on his
first risit, that his skill in lecchng may pass
for omnipotencc When questioned iaeoare.
pieatiy. by relatives. looks wise and oraeular.
and fixes his eyes on tie ceiling, (wbIle he
assiduously thumbs lis victims pulse, till he
has eoncoctea anauswer sufficiently nom COM
initial. Is willing to experiment. in any kind
of patty there is going never allowing
any othfr NJ. D. TO get the stait Of him. II
his patient has an extraordinary faculty for
convalescing, and there is danger in bis get