Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1852-05-26

NINE CNlllIen say teT NuSHt HoA vi P"fN-'
and CESS if tey must haf him, ter olt man
musth bay, heh? German subscriber who
is something of wag, chuckled and gives
the editor dig in the ribs
Editor-Squire, your bill is only hve
dollars.
German Subscriber-Five tollar tat ish
vor behind, and five pays you head
yich makes den.
TGerman subscriber pulls out an old stock
ing, and counts down out OF it twenty
bright half dollars. Editor eyes dllate' he
becomes exceedingly nervous, and shows =.
symptoms of flying off the handle EXIT
patron. g,
The sky is clouded, but it never looked
better-the light was never stronger Inc
horrors of a long winter are forgotten and
sunshine reigns in the heart. Even the
ACCORDION in the book store underneath,
which few moments ago made an execra-
bic noise, is now making passable music.
In the exuberance of his spirits, ne could
have shaken hands with his bitterest enc
my. CA heavy step is heard on the stalrs'
What est III posibel? The streak has
been so good that this must be call on the
other side.
door opens, enter J.)
Jerusalem If he pays, the millennium is
at hand, and the next sound will be the
blast from the final trumpet!
J.-Well, my hearty, have just succeed
ed in collecting some old accounts, and as
| owe YOU considerable of bill, l thought
I could do no better than let you have a
triae on account.
Editor (strongly impressed with the same
opinior)-Under such circumstances, in
the language ofDummy Allen,
''Happy to mcct-happy to part-andalways hap
py to meet again"
| TJ. deposits two KS on the table, sees the
entry made, and leaves.
Editor has reached state ofperfect bliss,
and whistles Dolly Day, with variations,
when the sanctum door again opens, anc
prominent Locofoco enters.
Locofoco-Believe owe you Whigprln'
ters small bill for advertising. Don't like
the principles you advocate, but would
lust as soon do business with one party as
another besides, know you have much
the largest circulation in this vicinity; and
in short, | know what's what.
Editor-Good. Your bill is Sc.
rLocofoco pays, ,handS..ove new. advertise
ment, and leaves.
Another knock "Walk in.'
Enter lean, long, ,lank cadaverous look
ing middle aged gentleman, dressed II
black, with white neck cloth. Editor mis-
takes him for preacher and bows deferen
tally)
Stranger-I am the travelling agent fo
Doctor Julius C.. Killemoffs Universal Re-
generating Depurative Resurrection Syrup
which / wish so advertise in your paper.
1Editor lights a cigar cocks his legs up or
the table and feels very independent.
Editor-We don't advertise quack med
icines..at this establishment unless they are
paid for in advance.
Travelling Agent-Excuse me, but this
is no quGck medicine, but one highly re-
commended by the faculty. What are your
terms for half column a year?
Editor-Thirty dollars.
IAgen. does not appear to be bit taken
aback, as is usual on such OCCASIONS, but
draws his portmonnale.
Agent-Heres five, and five are ten, ,ano
| rScene suddenly changes editorial room
and lank agent fade away; editor finds
himself at home in bed, wife shaking
him..
Wife-It's six o'clock. amt YOU going
to market
Editor Slightly misunderstanding per-
dition seize the market. Didn't tell you
last night had no market money!
Editor turns over and tries to continue the
dream, but the charm is broken, the spell
is gone, and all that remains is an unea-
sy doze, which is interrupted by the ja'
NOR of the family bestriding him for &
horse, and cluthing his hair for Birdie
rein.
Scene changes to breakfast table,
Wife-I should like to know what yor
were dreaming about this morning.
Editor-Why'
Wife-Because when awoke you, you
continued grumbing in unintelligible Ian.
guage. The only thing could understand
was, ''it's an internal shame you didn't
wait until it was hundred-enough to buy
paper.
Editor gives CHASTITY grin, ,seizes his hat,
rushes out of the house goes to the office
and-works off the outsidel