The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1852-12-04

In OE . 70 hAAAS
cellar, when she made spring at the
wretch, who as little expected the dis
solution of the world as such an attack.
A single push with her strength tumbled
him down the stairs from top TO bottom.
In twinkling she closed the trap-door,
bolted it. and thus had the whole COM
pany secured in the cellar. This was
the work of single moment In the
next she flew across the courtyard, and
with a candle set fire to detached
pig sty. The watchman in the neigh
boring village, perceiving the flames,
instantly gave the alarm. In a few
minutes the inhabitants were out of
their beds, and crowd of farmers and
their servants fastened to the mansion.
The baroness waited for them at the
gate of the courtyard. "A few of you,"
said she, "wilI be sufficient to put out
this fire or prevent it from Spreading
But now provide yourselves with arms,
which you will find in abundance in
my husbands armory. Post yourselves
at the avenues of the cellar, and suffer
not one Of the murderers and robbers
shut up in it to escape"
Her directions were obeyed, and not
one of them escaped the punishment
due his crimes. s...
Aunt Hetty on Matrimony-Now,
girls, said Aunt Hetty: put down your
embroidery and worsted work, do some
thing sensible, and stop building air
castles and talking of lovers and hon.
ey-moon: it makes me sick; its per-
fectly antimonial. Love is farce
matrimony is humbug; husbands are
domestic Neros-Alexanders signing
for other hearts to conquer, after they're
sure of yours. The honeymoon is short
lived as Iucifer match. After that you
might wear your wedding dress at the
washiub. or your nightcap at meeting,
and your husband wouldn't know it
You may pick up your own pocket
handkerchief, help yourself 10 chair,
and split your gown across the back
reaching over the table TO get piece
of butter. while he is laying in his
breakfast as if it was the last meal he
should ca, this side Of Jordan. When
he gets through, he will aid your d.
gestion (while you are slipping your
first cup of cofeel by inquiring what
you'll have for dinner-whether the
cold lamb was eaten yesterday-if the
charcoal is out-and what you gave for
the last green tea you bought Then
he gets up from the table; lights his
cigar with the last evenings paper,
that you have not had time to read,
gives two or three whiffs of smoke,
that are sure to give you the headache
for the rest Of the day, and, just as his
coat-tail is vanishing through the door,
apologies for not doing that little er-
rand" for you yesterday-thinks it
doubtful if he can%do it to-day-he is
so pressed with business. Hear of him
at ii o'clock. taking an ice cream at
Newton:s while you are at home new
lining his coat-sleeves. Children by
the ears all day; don't get out to take
the air: feel as crazy as fly in
DRUM; husband comes home at night,
mods how dye do, Fan! boxes Char
ley's ears. stands little Fanny in the
corner, puts his feet up over the CRATE.
shutting out all the fire, while the ba-
by's little pug nose grows blue with
the cold; reads the newspaper all to
himself, solaces his inner man with 4
hol cup Of tea, and, just as you are la
boring under the hallucination that he
Will ask you to take mouthful of fresh
air with him, he puts on his dressing
gown and slippers, and begins to reckon
up the family expenses! after which,
he lies down on the sofa, and you keep
time with your needle, while he snores,
till 9 o'clock. Next morning you ask
him to give you a little money; he
looks al you as if to be sure that you
are in your right mind, draws sigh
long and strong enough 10 initiate
pair of bellows, and asks you what you
want of it, and if half dollar will not
do. Gracious king! Asif all those
little shoes and stockings and dresses
could be had for half dollar! Oh,
girls set your affections on cats, poodles,
parrots, or lapdogs-but let matrimony
alone. It's the hardest way on earth of
getting living-you never know when
your work is done up. Think of carry
ing eight or nine-perhaps twelve or
thirteen-children through the mea-
sIes, chicken pox, rash, mumps, and
scarlet fever-some of 'em twice overI
1t makes my sides ache to think of it
Oh, you may scrimp and save, and
twist and turn, and dig and delve, econ
omize and die, and your husband will
marry again, take what you have saved
to dress his second wife with, and she'll
take your portrait for fre-board, and
but what's the use of talking? Pll
warrant every one of you'll try it. the
first chance you get. There's sort of
bewitchmeut about it, somehow l
wish one-half of the world warn't fools,
and the tother half idiots-I do. Oh,
dear!
Courting-This is rather delicate
subject, we know But, then, we dare
say subject bearing this head will be
read by the ladies as quick as any thing