Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1852-03-03
ASA KNoILIN,s ADyENTURE.

pI TIE 'oLD 'uS'
Asa T. Knollins was genuine speci-
men of the Down East Yankee log
chopping. trading, fishing, sea-going, ann
phibious animal, passing his time between
the ocean and the mainland In one of
his voyages before the mast he went to
Porto Rico, and by some chance It hap
pened that his vessel sailed without him.
Asa felt somewhat home-siek when com.
PEELED to prolong his visit. and watched
eagerly for an opportunity OF returning to
his own native land.
One evening as he was walking along
the seaside in melancholy guise. he was
suddenly surrounded by gang of British
soldiers. belonging TO the sloop-of-war
Terrible, commanded by Captain Bag
shot, and then busy in taking water and
other stores preparatory TO continuance
of her three years cruise. Asa was dis
posed to show fight at first. but as the
press-gang was armed with cutlasses, he
concluded his policy was to submit quiet.
ly. and so he entered the barge without
opposition, and was taken on board the
sloop.
That night he lay awake, brooding
over his miSfortunes. he chalked out his
conduct. which was no other than to
feign simplicity. amounting almost to idi-
ocy, and 10 display as little knowledge of
seamanship as possible. He knew how
to throw into his coun,enance an air of
complete vacancy and innocence, cRlcula.
ted to throw the shrewdest observer of
his guard.
The next day at noon. a dish of boiled
beans was set before him without any tix-
ings. Our friend hsred up at the mea-
greness of the entertainment.
Billed beans and no pork! he exclaim-
ed. This is little too mean, swow !!
'Taint fit for dogP
Hadn't you better complain to the
captain p asked the black-whiskered boat
swain, with sneer.
That's it, old sea.hoss,' remarked
Knollins. That's a brightidse Capt'nl
So l will
And regardless of opposition he bolted
into the cabin. where Capt. Bag shot sat
at dinner with three or four officers.
Who the devil are youG' asked the
captain, tiercely fixing his savage eyes on
the Yankee
Who be 10 calculated Knollins.-
L Why. Pm Asa T. Kuollins, cap'n. l
hope you're well-and how's the folks to
hum Pretty spry, eh 2
Your names Jonathan, guess said
Capt. Bagshot, mimicking the nasal tone
of Knollins.
No it amt. its Asa T. KnOllins, cap
tain
Well, what do you want of me
l0nR
captain said Asa looking over the table
Pretty tall fodder. Chickens, hams, pine
apples, and o-be-joyful. You cook hain't
did the clean thing by US. though |
s'pose you know nothing about it, so l
thought I'd step up here and let you know
how they serve US down stairs. Why,
captain. they give us beans without pork.
Beans without pork AstonishingP ex-
claimed the captain, willing to humor the
character
Yes, captain. beans without pork
Don't that beat all natur 2
What do you live on when you're at
home . asked the captain.
Pork and beans, billed chowder, flap
jacks and doughnuts,' answered Asa.
What are hapjacks q asked the cap
tain.
Don't you know what hap.jacks are ?
Why thought every fool know'd that
There're made out OF -four and eggs, and
milk, and water, beaten up ker-slap, and
then they're slotted into fryin' pan and
done brown, and served up with butter,
and molasses and butter, which ever you
choose, and if they don't go down slick,
there no suns in Roxbury.'
You seem to like molasses,' said the
captain.
well 1 guess du.' said Asa. But
not raw as your fellers eat it.
How then 2
wall, like to run a stick into the
bunghole of a hogshead, and then pull it
eout and drop it through my mouth
Amt il good then? Well guess It is.
We'll, Jonathan
Asa, captain
Jonathan, 1 say, you can go now, and
I'll see about the pork Tomorrow
Asa went went back to his astonished
shipma.es, reporting that the captain was
pretty slick sort Of a feller.
One day when the men didn't tumble
up from below with the requisite alaeri-
ty. the boatswain, rattan in hand, gave
each of them a reminder with his stick
as he came on deck. Asa was the last,
as usual. bus watching the bOAlswain's
bamboo. he caught the weapon in bis
hand and dexterOusIy twisted it Out Of
the officers grasp.
Halo! Whisk.rs ? said he. Il hope
nOu didn't mean to hit me, cause it hurts
q feller. No. you didn't-Wall thought
SOL forgive you. and be threw the rattan
overheard, escaping 10 the quarter.deek,
where his originality and supposed imbe-
cility secured him impunity. In fact. he
was treated as apriYileged bnHoon by