Polynesian. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu], Hawaii) 1844-1864, 1852-02-07
THE GLORIOUS UNCERTAINTY OF LAW.

THE GLORIOUS UNCERTAINTY OF LAW.
The most litigious fellow ever knew, was a
Welchman named Bones. He had got possession
by some means, of a bit of waste ground behind a.
public house in Hogwash Street. Adjoining this
land was yard, belonging to the parish of st.
jeremiah, which the parish Trustees were fencing
in with wall. Bones alleged that one corner Of
their wall was advanced about ten inches on his
ground, and as they declined to move it back, he
kicked down the brickwork before the mortar was
dry. The Trustees having satisfied themselves
that they were not only within their own boundary,
put that they left Bones some feet of the parish
land to boot, built up the wall again. Bones kick
ed It down again.
The trustees put tup third time under the
protection of policeman. The memorable Bones,
in spite the awful presence of this functionary,
not only kicked down the wall again, but kicked
the bricklayers into the bargain This was too
much, and Bones was marched off to Guildhall for
assaulting the bricklayers. The Magistrate rath-
er poohpoohed the complaint, but bound over
Bones to keep the peace. The cGusG 6eli, the
wall, was rebuilt the third time; but when the
Trustees revisited the place next morning, it was
again in ruins. While they were in consultation
upon this last insult they were politely waited up
on by an Attorneys clerk, who served them all
with "writs" in an action of trespass at the suit
of Bones, for encroaching on his land.
Thus war was declared about dirty piece of land
literally not so big as door step, and the whole
fee-si.nple of which would not sell for shilling.
The Trustees, however, thought they ought not to
give up the rights of the parish to the obstnacy OF
"a perverse fellow like Bones, and resolved to In
dict Bones for assaulting the workmen. Accord
ingly the action and Indictment went on togeth-
er.
The action was tried first, and as the evidence
clearly showed the trustees had kept within their
own boundary, they got the verdict. Bones NOV
ed for new frial /; that failed. The Trustees now
thought they would let the matter rest, as it had
cost the parish about one hundred and fifty pounds
and they supposed that Bones had had enough OF 1t.
But they were mistaken in their man. He brought,
a writ of error in the action, which carried the
cause into the Exchequer Court and tied it up
nearly two years, and in the meantime he forced
them nolens rolens to try the indictment. When
the trial came on, the Judge said, that as the
whole question had been decided in the action,
there was no occasion for any further proceedings,
and therefore, the Defendant had better be acquit-
ted, and so make an end of it.
Accordingly Bones acquitted; and the
very next thing Bones did, was to sue the Trus-
tees in new action, for maliciously instltutlng
the Indictment against him without reasonable
cause The new action went on to trial, and 1t
being proved that one of the Trustees had been
overheard to say that they would punish hlm, this
was taken as evidence of malice, and Bones got
verdict of forty shlings damages, besides all the
costs Elated with this victory, Bones pushed on
his old action in the Exchequer Chamber to hear
ing, but the court affirmed the judgment against
him without hearing the Trustees counsel.
The Trustees were now sick of the very name
of Bones, which had become sort of bugbear, so
that if friend met Trustee in the street, he
would be greeted with an inquiry after the health
of his friend Mr.. Bones. They would then have
gladly let the whole matter drop into oblivion, but
Jupiter and Bones had determined otherwise, Tor
the indomitable Bones brought Writ of Error In
the House of Lords, on the judgment of the Ex-
chequer Chamber. The unhappy Trustees had
caught Tartar and follow him into the House of
Lords they must. Accordingly, after another
year or two's delay, the came on in the House
of Lords Their Lordships pronounced it the most
trumpery Writ of Error they had ever seen, and
again affirmed the judgment, with costs, against
Bones. The Trustees now taxed their costs, and
found that they had spent not less than five hum
dred pounds in defending their claim to bit of
ground that was not of the value of an old shoe.
But then, Bones was condemned to pay the costs.
True; so they issued execution against Bones );
caught him after some trouble, and locked him up
in jail The next week Bones petitioned the In
solvent Court, and got out of prison; and on exam
ination of schedule, his effects appeared to be 60
Os Cd Bones had in fact been fighting the Trus-
tees on credit for the last three years for his own
Attorney was put down as creditor to large
amount, which was the only satisfaction tio rus
tees obtained from perusing the schedule.
They were now obliged to have recource to the
Parish funds to pay their own law expenses, and
were consoling themselves with the reflection that
these did not come out of their own pockets
when they received the usual notification that a
bill in Chancery had been filed against them, at
Bones suit, to overhaul their accounts with the
parish and prevent the msapplication of the parish
money to the payment of their law costs! This
was the climax. And being myself disciple of
Coke, have heard nothing further of it being un-
willing, as well perhaps unqualified, to follow
the case into the abyrnthic vaults of the Court of
The catastrophe, if this were a tale,
could hardly be mended-so the story may end
here.