Sunday dispatch. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1845-1854, 1852-03-14
The Annual RspOrt Of the COmplroIIer.

A paragraph in our last issue announced that
at a very lats hour on Saturday, the Animal Re-
port of the worthy Comptroller. was placed on
our desk, and that we had not, at that time. an
opportunity to review, with any degree of fair
ness, the important tabular statements embodied
in his l36 pages, octave.
We shall endeavor to put some of the items of
expense to which we are annually subjected, be-
fore our readers, and thereby save them much
time and trouble in Quixotic attempts, which
their mad-cap enthusiasm may induce them to
undertake in the intricate path of figures, or in
the mysterious columns so deliberately placed be-
fore them, not for their information, but their
utter confusion. 'There's nothing" says the
learned Mr.. Stubbs, ." like looking profound. A
reputation for prOfundity will pass you through
the doors of the most Theoretically sealed theatre,
and if, Bub, you should ever want drink on
tick, look profound 1t adds to a gentleman's
respectability. Them's my lentiments, Bub, and
| act on 'em.''
The Report is very profound; SO much so, in
deed, that pair Of magnifying and re-
fecting convex lens have failed US in untwisting
the gordian knot, or in directing us through the
labarynth, which we rather unwisely and un-
emerged to daylight, we feel prepared to evolve
from the mysteries of the Report, one or two
items of interest to the reader
Before remarking on the document under con
sideration, it may be well to state by way of pre-
liminary, few facts which, we presume, are
very generally known to al, save those fortunate
gentlemen, who sit engowned in Aldermanic
Halls, and who, it is shrewdly suspected, by
many Of their constituents, drunk flowing bum
pers from the waters of Lethe on the eve of their
installation, the city of New York is stu
ated, geographically speaking, on an island, of
an average breadth of one mile, ''be the same
more or less, as the sheriff uniformly remarks
IN his advertisements, and from the point of the
Battery to Kings Bridge is some thirteen miles
in length. The island is bounded by the Bay.
the East and North Rivers, the Harlem River
and Spuytentivel Creek, and contains proba-
pie population of six hundred thousand bipeds.
independent of the feline, canine, bovine, and
others Of the quadruped inhabitants There are
many donkeys on the island, the fattest of this
genus are those to be foand vegetating within
the iron railings of the City Hall Park. AS the
City Hall and the purses of the citizens are re-
this particular species, fair play is shown in the
representation-the city being cut up into TWEEN
ty Districts or Wards from these Wards, two
are delegated to represent the
asinine qualities of those from whom thew have
the good fortune to be sent. Now we do not
particularly mean to say, nor shallwe insist upon
it, that their constituents are asses, but if a
stranger were called upon to give his opinion of
the people from judging their representatives, he
would be apt to utter Sotto voce that the dear
people and " Intelligent Masses were not par
tcularly fortunate in their selections, and if they
were, why, hem, he could but reply ''like master
like man." An entire ignorance of the market
or mint value of coined money appears to be one
of the principal faiings of the delegates; but to
make up for this, they have keen and critical
erudition on the flavor of Havannas over Ken
tuckys, and can tell to nicety the superiority
OF French wines or brandies over Prison whisky,
or New Jersey champagne. Bivalves, they dis
cuss with considerable intelligence, and on the
excellencies of turtle, they are quite at home as
items introduced here and there |
on the pages Of the report will amply testify to-
We are not envious, by any means. "There's |
nothing like being jolly as distinguished |
character is wont to exclaiu. "There's nothing |
like quizzing" at the public expense, say our
brilliant and not over fastidious City Fathers |
Heaven help the sons. Taxation is nothing-a |
mere trife--in their estimation. "Get all the |
eggs you can out of the goose, is with them an |
maxim. If they legislate for the peo-
pie, the people must pay for their services, and
this is the way in which the nublic are called
Compensation of Aldermen es coo IN |
ompensation for assistants '''' - y IA ~ |
Books for members '''' 500 ~ /
81 nre lor members 1920 66
1aiS ~ aI1eInen as Juoges. ....... 3428 u
Peid ~ ggermen as county CdnUGsseTs. 900 90
- " ziueInen as supervisors ..... IT'S 90 |
e'''"'e"'s iurhlsheo common Council sos OF
- '. .$2bylS II 1
These significant jokes are capital, ana we |