Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1852-02-12
Seth Hawkins Mistake.

ing rs having occurred IN one OF the VII
lagos. of the old BaysState within the re
collection of the writer. We do no
know when we have enjoyed so hearty ;
laugh, as on reading 4'his incident in the
life of Seth Hawkins.
Sunday night was the season which
Seth chose to do his weekly devoirs, as
Mrs. Hornhy would say; and his road tc
nciglbor Jones's daughter Sally, the OBJ
ject Of his particular hope, lay acros:
three long miles of hard territory, stumpy
as an old woman's mouth and as ire
claimablc asa prodigal son gone away
for the third time.
One all sufficiently dark night, unhecd.
ing wind and weather, as gallant and
spruce as evcsstraddled stump, Seth in
lis best "bib and tucker" and dickey and
all that, started upon his accustomed
weekly pilgrimage to the shrine Of Sally
Joncs-tho sweet girl by the way, as
Strawberries and cream are sweet.
Seth knew every landmark, if he could
see it; but the night was very dark, and
in little while he became confused in his
reckoning and taking the light which
cleaned from farmer Joncs's cottage for
Il guide he pushed boldly on, regardless
of intermediate difficulties, surging ocea-
sionally to the righttor left, as some OBJ.
stluclion rose in his spath, until he ran, stern
OIL, as sailor would say, TO Il huge stump
and rolled incontinently over the other
side
lie gathered himself up as best he
could, shook himself to ascertain that no
bones were broken, ard then, started on
lis mission of love, his ardof somewhat
damFed by feeling the cold night wind
playing fantastic jests around his body,
deuoling that the concussion had preached
his "oh, fife, for shame" and that the
sevcn.and-six penny cassimers were no
more TO be the particular delight of his
eye, in contemplation Of their artistic ex-
ccllence.
He knew not the extent of the damage
sustained, hut soon gairing the Louise,
his first glance was over his person, to
ascertain if dccency would be violated by
an uuwonted display;s but seeing nothing,
and trusting to the vol luminous proportions
of Lis csrs, u 20 ,nnL his
seat in proAered chair hY the Gre.
Whilst conversing with the farmer about
the weather, and the dame upon the mat
ter Of eheeses, he glanced at Sally, and
saw with painful surprise, that she was
looking anxiously, and somewhat strange
ly, towards portion Of his dress. She
avertcd her eyes as she caught his glance,
but again catching her eyes upon him, he
was induced to turn his in the same di.
rcction, and saw-good heavens! was it
his shirt !-oozing out Of q six inch apcr-
turc in the inside Of his incxprcs:ibcs!
He instantly changed position, and from
that moment was OIL nettles. Was he
making more revelations by the change!
He watched the first opportunity to push
the garment in Il little. Could he succeed
in hiding it, it would relieve his enbar-
rassment. Again he watched lis chance,
and again slowed away the linen. 1t
seemed interruiuable, like the doctors tape
worm, and the more he worked at it the
more there seemed left.
In the meantime his conversation took
the line of Ills agony, and his answers bore
as much relation to the question as the
melancholy burthcn of cold Marin Pet
tingill."
At last, with one last desperate effort,
the whole disappeared and he cast tri.
u'nphant glance towards Sally. One
look suliccd to show that she had COM
pretended the whole, and with the great
est effort was struggling to prevent
laugh. Meeting his glance she could con-
tain herself no longer, but screaming with
accumulated fun, she fled from the room;
and Seth, unable to endure this last turn
of agony, seized his hat and dashed mad.
ly from the house clearing the stumps like
Il racer i'll the dark, and reaching home he
hardly knew when or how. As soon as
he was gone, Mrs. Jones looked about for
a clean night-gown that she had out for
service on the back of the chair on which
Seth had sat. She was positive that she
took it out, but where on earth it was she
couldn't conceive.
"Sally," cried the old lady from the
door, "have you seen my uight.gown?"
Yes, marm," echoed her voice as if
in the last stage of sufocaton-" yes'n,
Seth Hawkins wore it home"
1t was unfortunately y the case, and poor
Seth had slowed it away in the crevices
of his pants! 1t was returned the next
day with an apology, and he subsequently
married Sally; but many years after
wards, if any article Of any description
was missing, of apparel or otherwise, the
first suggestion was that Seth Hawkins
had slowed it away in his trousers.
Seth Hawkins is now a prominent and
influential merchant in the city of Boston,
and often relates the story himself for the
amusement of his Young friends.
"WnAr's rIIAr!" said schoolmaster
pointing to the letter X.
"It's daddy's name"
No, you blockhead, it's X"
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