Southern standard. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1851-1856, 1852-05-15
fIr. and Mrs. jones al Home.

Mr.. Jones having utterly failed, a. the age of
ffty-two, III hndin5 uus Tie bent of his genius
ana his wife and the IIgae Jones, being somewhat
interested in the solution this problem, Mr.
Jones IN a III OF desperation, propose their takin e
few genie. board,rs, ''just for company for
Mrs. JONES'" A very mysterious adyertiseme ut
was forthwith iIsertd i'll The papers, intended to
battle the ''PaM ~ family hile il brou2h the
h>h 10 their net. In process of time the rooms
which were Really pleasant, were occupied, and
Dir. Jones and hIs vile pa. their heads together
10 ascertain how small an amount OF provi ions it
was possible Tor the new comtrs 10 subsist upon
Mr. Jcnus belonged to the class deIoniinated
imam Betiys;" his ceat OF arm be ng a dshcloth
and grdiron. lie ran all The oIraIis, and
cheated himself INTO .le Fieasan d.luson that he
was master vi the house. He cHeapeuvd down
cheap butter, purchased questionable-lookng tur-
kicS, and damaged tea, and country apple sauce
by the barrel, madt of heterogeneous mixture of
apple pei.fngs, Old cider, and ounce core meat:
made II IF point OF duty 10 Be present when the
cook weighed the -four and grated the nutmeus;
dealt OUT line brown so&p 20 wash The kitchen tow
els and gave the butter an extra sailing that it
nigh last the longer, tin more senses than one
In short he IeiG he fulfilling his des i
ny, and had just found that he h,d all his lie
been "buryms his talent III IA Napkin How ex-
per5 he was at helping to the eonsumprive looking
chickens that graccd his table The drums,icks
he always gave he children, because IL took some
time 10 anatomize en, and lac had not forgotten
picture IN Dickens OF Oliver Twist askmy for
more. Ii in spite OF all this precaution, they
We're determined upon second course tie wing
and neck were allo,ted them, for the same econo-
mical reason. A dish OF dwartish apples crown
ed on the top with solitary orange for which
there was generally little rattle got up, } and
some dlled apple pies, composed he bill of fare,
Tor one days dinner, and was a pretty fair expo-
nent OF til. rest. Alter pie had disappeared
he would stick his fork eau iouslv into the remain
ing one, and in such weak melancholy voice in
quire III any one would have another piece, -
that ANY one must have d heart as touo h as
the pie-crusti WHO would answer in affirmative
And then Mr.. Jones was so useful when the baby
took its bath. He could tell Just where to look
for the little wicker basket that held its toilette
equipments; knew to degree) on the pin-cush-
ION, The latitude and Longitude of the big pins and
the little ones; and bathing and dressing being
over, how many joys of the cradle were necessa-
ry to send the baby to the land OF Nod. and what
degree of slammerins could be endured without
calling him back again. But We all have our
weakness and SO had Jones-he thought with the
poel, that Might was the time for rest"
Unfortunately Mrs. Jones was of the same opin-
lon' ana there S where they both differed from
1onn Jenrey Jones, Their youngest hope. who con-
- o4 eUuiOuiiutu nonsense, and persisted
IN screechng at the top of his LUNGS. unless he
could sit upon end my DEAR" said Jones. af-
ter humorlng.this little nantile within till two o.
clock morning @'don't you think John Jeffrey
might be persuaded TO lie down "a little While
Mr.. Jones, said his wife, peering out from
her rutied night cap, "'tis very strange Won vii;
break me OF my rest, asking foolish tluestons.-
one would think you have no love for your own
offspring. when The dear child prefers you to It's
mother to make a fuss about trifie.
80 Jones swallowed the hook for the sake of the
caiI, mrs Jones umed her nap, and Jno. JEFF
lrey papa made fingers on the wall with b;s
myers I'LL daylight, much to his edi6cation. But
us the last ounce that breaks the camel's back
ana Jones did demur when his wife asked hin, 70
cover some piping cord for her drtss.' So the
-. yoaiuerS were informed, one fine morning, that
.nelr worthy host and hostess .'had concluded to
travel and so they had--but it was afterwards
ascer'ained thai Il soas IN different directions.
Oiiee Branch.
VE afrr r.