The organ of the temperance reform. (Cincinnati, O. [Ohio]) 1852-1853, 1852-10-01


mlahs cars cooked up,) and per ctat. on
the sales they make the second year.
BY cyphering It up in his head ? hiah
came to the conclusion that the finl year
wouldn't add much to his pecuniary elevation,
whatever the second did with its three per
cents. But he was bound to try it on, any
how. (.
'Now,' . said cheatum, sin the first place
''Joromiah, if you please. sir, !" sald tie.
"Ah, yes, Thomas-pshaw --Jeaiah,
would say, continued Cheatum, correcting
himself
Jeremiah--Jeremiuh Bumps, sir sharply
echoed Mr.. Bumps.
ooh, yes, yes; one has so many clerks and
salesmen in course of business, said Cheatum,
that l get their names confused Well
jeremiah, in the first place you must learn to
please the customers and always be lively and
spry, and never give an offensive answer
Many women and girls come in to price and
overhaul things, without the rcmotest iden Of
buying anything, and dit's often trying to ones
patience: but you must wait on them, for There
is no possible means of telling a woman who
shops Tor pastime from one who shopsin earnest
SO you must be careful, be polite, be lively and
spry, and never let person 90 without making
a purchase, y you can possibly help it. If
person asks for an article we have not got, en-
deavor to make them try something else.s If a
woman asks whether fOur-penny calico or six
penny delains will wash, say yes ma am
5eaulifuliy; I've tried them, or seem them
tried; and ii they say, arc these ~ ris
| flannels real Shaker ftaaReis2 or the nthepene6
hose all meriRO?" better not contradict them,
say yes nam, I've tried them, seen them tried,
! know they are, or similar appropriate answers
| =, 4bo hot I,a lnH
said Cheatum.
eyes, sir, jeremiah responded, 81 under
stand"
"And, William
Jeremiah sir, il you please"
''Oh, yes; well, Jediah-Jeremiah would
say-when you make change, never take ten
cent piece and two cents for shilling but give
it as often as practicable; look out for the frac-
tious in adding up and beware OF crossed six
pencCs, smooth shillings, and what are called
Bungtown coppers, said Cheatum, with much
emphasis.
Pm pooty well posted up, sir, in all that, !"
said jeremiah.
And Jeems-pshaw-J acob-J eremiah |
would say, in measuring always put your
thumb so, and when you move the yardstick
forward, shove your thnmb an inch Or so back;
in measuring close, you may manage to
squeeze out five yards from fOnr aud three
quarters. you understand? And, always be
watchful that some of those nimble, light
fingered folks don't slip roll Of ribbon, or a
pair of gloves Or hose or piece OF goods, up
their slecve, in their bosoms, pockets, or un-
der their shawls Be careful Henry Gems,
should say" said Cheatum.
Being duly rehoarsed j Jeremiah Bumps went
to work. The first customer he had was a
little girl, who bought yard of ribbon for
l., oh ,n4 an lv bp
seycn-eights of a yard into a full yard, but
made twelve cents 20 for a ninepence, which
frat brought down the vials of wrath Of the
Tchlds mother, burly old Scotch woman
who "tOnguC- lashGd poor Jeremiah awtully
HisncXt adventure was the sale of a dress
pattern of sixpcnny dclain, which he lgaTTaat-
pd TO contain all the pCrfectiOns known to the
best article. and in dashing his vigorous sCis-
sors through the fabric, he caught them in
the folds Of a dozen silk handkcrChlets on the
counter! The young woman who took the
dress pattern, upon reaching home, found Il
contained but eight yards, when she paid to
nine. She came back, aud jeremiah Bump
got another bombasting! He sold fOurpennl
calico, and warranted It to wash; next day
came back and an old lady with it the co
Iors and starch were all out, by dipping it il
water and the old woman went on so tina
T. Cheatum was glad to refund her money to &c
S rid OF her. A Young woman enquircd 70
d diapering; jeremiah exhibited the article
c when. upon the young woman asking if it wa
d reaI Jird he affirmed it was, and tn
S best, too, for he used it himself The yOunj
0 woman was put to the blush, and left the store
and Cheatum rcprimanded jeremiah roundly
Two dashing young ladies out shopping,
: for their own diversions, gave Jeremiah call
c he laborcd hand and tongue, he hauled dow
and exhibited Cheatum's entire stock; tn
girls then were leaving, saying they woull
/ ''call again, and jeremiah very amiably said
70 'Do. ladies, do; call again. like TO secure g0H
clst0al!' The young ladies took this as al
! insult. Their big brothers waited on Mr.
+ Bumps, and nothing short his humble apollo
r gics saved him from Gnragcd COwhides! Jere
e miah saw suspicious woman enter the store
!, and after overhauling a box of gloves, h
C thought he saw her pocket Il part lie inter
d cepted the lady as she was going out-he grab
n bed her by the pocket-the lady resisted
y jeremiah held on-the lady tainted, and Jer
v emiah nearly tore her dress off in pulling ou
Q the gloves The lady proved to be the wifi
e OF distinguished citizen, and the gloves pur
3. chased at another place A lawsuit followed
c and Mr. Bumps was fined 800, and sent Il
p the House Of Correction for sixty days
: How many new clerks Ncbuchadncz2a
G Chcatum has put through since, VIC know not
. but Jeremiah Bumps is now engaged in tn
{ practical science Of agriculture, and shuddcr
. at the idea Of young men from the countr.
9 being raatcd in adrygoods shop, if they hay
/ got 10 see the elephant that he 0bserrcd--0
Boston!