The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1852-08-13
THE DAILY DISPATCH.
PLAYING THE PIANO, AND HOW 1T
Is DONE.


The other evening, we were at party of
Trend OF ours, and among the lot was gay
Miss, who had just returned from the boarding
school, when, after many solicitations and
apologies, she seated herself at the piano,
rocked to the right, then TO the left leaned for
ward, then backward, and began. She placed
her Tight hand about midway the keys, and hel
LETT about two octaves below them She now
put on the right to a brisk canrer upon the
treble notes, and her left afterit. The left then
led the way back, and right pursued in like
manner. The right turned and repeated its
movement but the left out run it this time,
hopped over II, and flung it entirely off the
track. 1t came in again, however, behind the
lett, on ITS return, and passed it in the same
style. They now became highly incensed at
each otter, and met furiously on the middle
ground. Here most awful conflict ensued
Tor short space, when the right whipped off all
OF sudden, as we ihough hit fairly vanuuisbed.
but we were in error in that; Jack Randolph
cautions us it had only "iallen back to
stronger position" 1t had mounted I'D two
back Keys, and commenced the note of a rat
tlesnake. This had a wonderful effect upon
the left, and placed the doctrine of snake
charming beyond dispute. The left rushed to-
ward ii repeatedly, but seemed invariably panic
struck when 1t came within six keys of it, and
as invariably retired with a tremendous roar
down the cass keys; continued it's assaults.
sometimes by zgZag movement, but all its
attempts to dislodge the right from its strong
hold proved Intellectual; it came close up to lis
adversary and expired. Amy one, or rather no
one, can imagine what kind of noises the piano
made during the conflict. Certain it is that no
one can describe them, and therefore we shall
not attempt it. The battle ended Miss Jane
moved as though she would have risen, but this
" sta nf
at once.
zone song, my dear Jane," said Mrs. Small,
"you must sing that sweet little French air
you used to sing, and which Madame Piggis-
quak is so fond Of" Miss Jane looked pitiful
at her mamma, and her mamma looked "sing"
at Miss Jane; accordingly she squared herself
for song. She brought her hands into
capus this time in fine style, and they seemed
to be perfectly reconcied to each other; then
commenced kind of colloquy; the right whs-
pering treble very softly, and left responding
bass very loudly.
The conference had been kept up until we
began TO desire change upon the subject,
when our ears caught, indistinctly, some very
curious sounds, which appeared to proceed
from the lips of Miss Jane; they seemed to be a
compound of a dry cough, grunt, hiccough,
and it appeared to US as interpreters between
the right and left. Things had progressed in
this way for about fifteen seconds, when we
happened to direct our attention to Mr.. Ross.
His eyes were closed his head swung grace
fully from side to side, beam OF heavenly
compiacency rested on his countenance. and
his whole man gave irresistible demonstra-
tions that James music b d made him feel
good all over. We resolved from this contem.
plation of MIR. Ross's transport, to see whether
we could extract from the performance any
thing Ineligible, when Miss Jane made fly
catching grab at half dozen keys in a row,
and the same instant she fetched a long dung
hill cock crow, at the conclusion of which she
grappled at as many keys with the left. This
came over Ross like warm bath, and over us
like rack of bamboo briars. Our nerves had
not recovered until Miss Jane repeated the
movement, accompanying it with the squeal of
a pinched cat. This threw us into an ague fit;
but from respect to the performer. we maintain
ed our position. She now made third grasp
with her right, and at the same time raised one
of the most unearthly howls that ever issued
from the throat of any human being. This
seemed the signal for universal uproar and
destruction. She now threw away all reserve,
and charged the piano with her whole force
She boxed it, she clawed it, she scraped it,
He neck veins swelled, her chin flew up, her
face flushed, her eyes glared, her bosom heaved,
she screamed, she howed, she yelled, she
cackled, and was in the act of dwelling upon
the note of screech owl. when we took the
St. Vitus's dance and rushed out of the room.
"Goodness !" said bystander, "if this be her
singing, what must be her crying 7"