Grand River times. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1851-18??, 1852-08-04

What the deuce did you do that for! Do you
suppose I've got nothing else to do with my
money, but to spend five dollars for boots, to
give to any lazy impostor who comes along"
Terribly enraged he was as he uttered this,
and wonderful was the amount of charitable re-
form depicted on his ferocious countenance.
"Why," returned Mrs. Dobson 81 thought
you said that whenever one man is possessed Of
more than another, ii is his duty"
"Said so ?. interrupted Mr.. Dobson, now in a
perfect frenzy, and as red in the face as boiled
beet. "a pretty business, think, to give away
five dollar pair of boots before have had them
week."
"You see, Gussy dear, the poor mans feet
looked so pinched and blue with the cold,
could not refuse giving him pair of good warm
boots, when knew that you had still two more
pairs left. He needed them bad, he did, indeed,
Gussy, and felt sure that you would not wish
to share with those who have more than you,
and not with those who have less"
This was a sharp lick. 1t probed Mr. Dob
sons equality notions to the very marrow. The
fact was,as it is with good many other reform
ers, all he wanted was to get an extra lump Of
butter for his own bread, but not by any means
to give portion of it to any one.
Sulkily proceeding to polish his "other"
boots, he pettishly demanded his clean shirt ;
but, alas Mrs. Dobson had given away the on
ly two clean shirts likewise, to the same unfor-
tunate beggar man. And then, how Mr.. Dob
son stamped and swore, and what pretty names
he called his wife, on learning this double item
of equalizing reform, we dare not say.
"Give two of my shirts away, did you 2" he
exclaimed in passionate sputter. "By the
lord Harry! You'd better have given him my
coat, tool"
81 did, Gussy, DEAR Poor old man his coat
was so thin and ragged, and he looked so frozen
my heart quite bed for him. And | was so
glad you had given me authority to present him
with warmer one, by saying that no man has
right to possess more than another. You have
two coats left yet, you know, Gussy, and so can
still divide with some other poor soul who has
none"
This was too much. What, was he to test
the practicability of the equality dodge and in
himself become a martyr to the glorious cause
Of social reform! No, stree! That was not
what he went in for, not by considerable. In
any little matter of taking a house and lot or
two from some rich chap who had three or four
he was quite willing; but when it came to Civ
ing up his coat, shirts and boots to clothe the
naked, in common with other reformers we
could mention-he wasn't there.
"For two pins," he sad I'D take that ten
dollar bill and get as drunk as bazes"
"You couldn't do that, Gussy, dear" said Mrs.
Dobson.
"Why not?" he demanded. "What's to him
der me if feel like it."
Because bought two new dresses with five
of it
"What did you want with new dresses? You
had four already hadn't you!"
81 gave two Of them to the beggar man for
his wife poor thing, he said she hadn't one to
her name"
"Well!" gasped Mr.. Dobson. 1t was all he
could force out.
"The poor mans large family of children are
all down sick, and he hadn't cent to buy them
either food or medicine, so gave him the other
FIVE"
Mr.. Dobson did not stay to hear any more
For one day he had had surfeit Of equality
and he rushed out of the house, with a face more
chop-falen and small potatoish than language
can describe.
Many months have passed since then; but
Mr.. Dobson has never so much as whispered So
cial reform once and the mere mention of Equal
ity and the Rights of Man will throw him into
fit, even to this day.
Cincinnati Daily Commercial.