Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1852-09-08
RANNY, IS oBEDIENcE TO C. on ."-rroaa11s Jrrsnsor.
sOHIO, O,.sAVEDNEsDAY. SEPT. 8 1852 ~ .
sMfs;g Jones Sesiioguy. /.
> BY FANNY lEt,nNa.s,

leSss.z54 EA1is. SVhSss fsBsifitfs J. snf.4esEQz
issass5a aafasaBY FANNY sFt hN.stsyz5 s.es-et
afs" Mefcyzo us whe. dotble and twisted
fooll was to III AIRY d handsome man. II,
| never fihds n. spare minute to udorn me
because he is sailthe time adjoining himself
lsnever couldsee the necessity of Beanty ii
a man. For woman might JUS. as wei
cut Aer throat and be done with il, if sh.
isn't pretty; but if man has fine, vel
made figure, and is a gentleman in hi.
manners, that's enough, provided he neither
sqnlnis, nor smokes, nor sw ears. ard know,
enough To- hold an umbrella ever a laay's
bonne, without givingher all the drippings
A rare accomplishment 3 fass So
"Now my husband, Sam Jones, has
beauty. enough fora dozen of men, arc
what's more, ne knowsit. He spends one
half Of his time ut The glass, and the Other
hall hmnking ey es al the women. Gould
not | be the deathof llifn4 II we go on, tc
walk, everybody says, what handsome
t;fellowg How came he to marry such o
dawdy little wife? IThat's pleasnnt.'1 Il
hayn't got closet in the house that ISM
lamberedsp with hissuperfuousrattle traps.
Checkered, striped, and PLAN pants, double
and single-breasled vests, Of every color
and shape; boots and pumps, without limit;
smoking caps, dressing gowns, with dickies,
plain on one side, white on theother, made
for dress or travelling, with accommodating
bosoms, to suit all emergencies; oau.de-
Cologne, Macassar oil, curling tongs, scent
ed shaving soap, whisker dye. and q score
moro offooleries thatI have neither time
nor patience TO mention. szsTzs 81 aes 80
"lm never sure what the mans about?
It takes me all of mytime to look after him,
and thenaI get awfully humbugged; and
that puts me in mind 10 enquire Tprivately]
about that new club,' he has joined. Don. !.
believe a word Of il! Clubs don't meet
every night in the week Samivel.
s'f"Next orciubs, | hate widows. They
are the very -! I've heard the heath
els, ,,called'benighted;' they We sense enough
to burn up the widows when the husbands
die-and that o step further in civilization
than we've taken. There's nothing like
'em. lfthey make up their minds to mar
ry man, it's done. | know one that was
terrible afraid ofthunder undlightning, and
every time storm came up, she would run
into Mr.. Smiths house The was w:dower
and clasp her little hands around him, till
the man was half distracted for fear she
would get injured; and the consequence
was, she was Mrs. Jones Smith before three
thunder storms had passed over her head
Wasn't that diplomatic? Z - zte-- ss'f
"Then there's that little blue>eyed widow
Wilkins. Didn't she drop her pray
coming out of church, for my handsome
husband 10 pick upa- And didn't see him
squeeze her hand when he handed il back
to her? And when told him long rig
.marote Of story going home, to divert bis
attention from the little mink, did not he
answer yes and mo- at random, and
laugh at the wrong place? And didn't he
the next morning put salt in his coffee, and
sugar on his beefsteak? - ,+F SO
ssI: is astonishing widows will be so indel.
icate Us to doff their weeds. It's nothing
more nor lessthan a walking advertisement
for another husband. Mrs. Lee was spend
ing short time ut the sea-shore, in her
new regimentals, when one Of the ladies at
the tea-table, struck with sudden thought,
said, very innocently, sBy the way, Mrs.
Lee, where is your husbanda should
have been very sorry to have told where I
thought he was, for the way he used TO swear
when he talked was awful to mention! --
'Now what glorious example I'd be TO
the sex, if providence should see fit TO make
me a widow! | wonder If Samivel will
pop off? should hate 10 put my curls be.
hind my ears, but I'd do it, and I wouldn't
SO much as look at man, unless it was
Tom King. Wonder if he'd marry me?
Wellthere now! have spoke in meeting,
It can't be helped now, as deacon Smith
said when his daughter, surprised him kiss
ing Widow Moore-'lt's na.ur, Sally; it's