Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1852-07-28
81. NG TIE ELEPHANT.

The stage in which | was passenger
had stopped to change horses, and feed"
the passengers, at a small town in Vermont,
and diuner over, we were awaiting the ar.
rival of stage upon an intersecting route,
to proceed upon our journey. Cigars had
been lighted, and by way of passing our
time, we had commenced critical exami.
nation of the mammoth pictorial posters of
Ba,nums Mcnagerie, which covered the
walls of the spacious bar.room. Barnums
name opened fruitful topic of conversa-
ton; every one present seemed stored with
anecdotes of the Napoleon Of Showmen,"
and the Wooly Horse, ihe Feejee Mermaid,
and Joice Heth, were not forgotten in the
discussion which followed.
Suddenly long, slab-sided indis idual
with an owl.like expression Of wisdom and
dignity, who had been listening to our re-
marks with an e, ,ident desire to take hand,
broke out
"I s'pose you think that's an ALFRED big
concera! Any body would that hadn't
seen it.
"Then suppose you have seen it' said
my legal friend
Yeas, seen it at Springfield" was the
reply )" it's darncd hmmbug"
"Is it possible" said the Major, seeing
prospect of fun. "Coulda't you ob1ige us
With description Of the "institution %
"Celiauly," answered Jonathan" here's
the stcge, and as soon as we get started,
IIl give you all the items. They can't
humbug me very often, and when they do,
| callate to advertise for them III get
squa e.
In few minutes we were under head
way, aud our verdant friend commenced
unboson;ug t'msels
eyer see, Datnum was going to show
his caravan down to Springfield, Fourth of
July, and | thought thcrc'd be a good
chance to see the elephant and celebrate,
both at onct. What | wanted to see more
than all the rest was the Car Of Jugglenot,
drawn by string of elephants
did it meet your eXpec tations 2"
al never seen one side of it. Before !
got in town. they'd got all through para.
dir," the elephants was Embarrassed, and the
Ca" OF Jugglenot was into woodshed. |
made up my mind right of, then, that the
hull consarn was humbug."
"Was Barnum aware" asked, "that
YOU were to be in towns"
"Not as know" was the answer.
elf he had known it," added the Major,
"he would doubtless haEe waited. But you
visited the exhibition, suppose
"Of course; was bound to do that, il it
bust me. That was a bigger humbug than
all the rest"
Chow so!"
"Why, in the first place, expected to
see Jenny Lind"
"Was she announced in the bills!'
"I don't know; didn't read 'em, but !
axed the man that stuck up the picters if
she'd be there, aud he said yes and that
she'd sing the bird song stadin' on top OF a
cage of cocatoos and parrots. She want
there, and never seed one side of her
and then I know'd the whole consarn was
darncd humbug.
"Well, then, went round and took
look at The elephants-had hard work to
get round, tu; there was MORN n hundred
thousand people in the tent. Finally got
where they was, and the folks was all feed.
in 'em with apples and cakes and things.
had some doughnuts in my hat, SO | held
it out to one of the darned things, to lee j..
he'd take one!"
"Did he take one?"
"He took 'em all, and the hal Ia, stuck
'em in bis nasty, peaked mouth, and began
eatn' followed to the keeper, and told
him it was bran new hat. lie said never
mind, he'd get it again"
eyes, he got it, but a hat ain't Of much
account after an elephants chaped it.
Then, I'd a sworn the hull consarn was
humbug. Well, | took look at Tom
Thumb, and tue Ceylong Chief, and the man
that fdJcd with his toes, and the feller that
went in with the Lions. The wild animals
was well enough, but didn't see as they
looked any different from any body clse's.
Iespecicd Darnum's liens would be twice
as big as any others. There was one thing,
though, that was fust.rate; that was the
wax statuary, especially the iutemperance
family" told the man Tux care Of it,
wished every one that ever drinked a drop
of sperrits had TO stand and look at that
about week-they'd never want to drink
again. He said he wished so tu.
Take it all in all, though, was mad ;
didn't sec what l expected, and didn't
like the idea Of being humbuyged, so |
inquired Of one of the men that was stir.
rim up the moukics, where Barnum was,
and he pointed him out to me, selling lem.
onade out of wagon. went up to him,
and, t'iiuks !, III give him piece OF my
mind" Sez l.
Mr.. Barnum-"
"Sixpence glass;" sez he.
"I looked at his lemonade; there was
just one lone, solitary, second-handed slice
of lemon in whole wash-tub full Of it, and
he pedliu' it out at sixpcnce glass. That
made me madder than all the rest, so says
|, loud and auditably-
"Mr. Ba"num, | think your shows
darncd humbug."
Young man." scz he, "I s'posc you
paid to come in e
"Supposin' did Z" sez I.
"Wc11,' scz he, supposin' you have;
you have paid your quarter, and you've
perfect right to think just what you d-n
please"
why" said the Major, arer the sensa.
ton caused by this recital had somewhat
subsidized, "why did you not demand your
money backs You certainly could have
compelled them to refund your quarter"
You see the truth is" said Jonathan,