The Woodville Republican., 1852-06-15
The Man who knew Every
thing.

a mighty SHOWING man was caleb Gage,
who kept the grocery at the forks ofthe road
near Woodchuck Creek, Scragg Hollow, in
the village of bonneville. No occurrence
has ever taken place, of all the particulars
of which Caleb did not possess a thorough
knowledge in the minutest detail. All mat
ters in the perspective were anticipated, dis.
cussed and satisfactorily arranged by Caleb
long before they took place. II a neghbor
rushed into the store to communicate what
he believed to be very recent piece of in
teigence, he would have the concet taken
out Of him by being told by Caleb THAT he
had heard it a week ago" Events Of the
past, present and future, were all the same
to him; his ubiquitous knowledge grasped
aud covered tfsem ALTO him they were all
stale news.
A small bet was made one evening be-
tween 81 Stevens and Joe Stebbns, 81 bet
that Joe couldn't nonpus Caleb with any
piece of intelligence, real or imaginary, Joe
"took all such bets as that" The following
evening ST and 10, accompanied by a few
Of the boys of the village, who We're to
help the thing along and fill in, proceed
ed to Caieb's store. After being comforta.
bly, seated here and there, on barrels, boxes
etc, 81 opened the evenings amusement by
asking, in a manner that indicated he was
continuing a conversation commenced be-
| fore they entered the store--
$50 you say, Joe, that they caught hin
last night!"
| ttNap ci aI, p,,natac nc
eight"
"Well, Joe, how far up the creek is it,?
"On careful consideration | should say
it was about three miles, or three miles ant
quarter, or perhaps half, up the aforesaid
creek"
Caleb, who had not lost word of tht
conversation, dropped his sugar scoup witt
astonishment and opened his ears, for thu
boys were talking about matter in whicl
he was not posted up. The conversation
continued
"Wel, says 81, that couldn't been ia
from Deacon Hunt's?"
"Just so. answered Joe. sit was about
so rods from Deacon Hunts hog pen, in ;
sanchwise direction"
add you hear, Joe" asked 81, with hi
face as solid as two grave stones; ii hear,
tell that they got nigh sixty bar'Is of lie on
of him"
The wags observed that Caleb was get
ting exceedingly uneasy and "piled it on.
"Well, Silas, the insect was 50 feet long
and % feet, odd inches, broad. and thick il
proportion.
81 thought, Joe, that there was two Oh
EN-, but they only caught the he one"
At this point in the dialogue, Caleb be
came so desperately excited that he coult
contain himself no longer, and snappishly
demanded to know what'n thunder they RI
talking about.
"Why," said Joe, with well feigned as
tonishment, "don't you know about thei
catching that ar"
THAT ar what?" peevishiy demanded Ca
leb.
"Why that ar phale" seriously answer
ed Joe.
"a aDhdie?" exclaimed the bewilderet
Caleb, "have they caught whale up th'
creek?"
"They haven't caught anything else,
said the imp erturbable Ioe.
"And how much lie did they get?' in
quired Caleb, as he recovered his wits.
"Ninety two barl's," replied Joe, forget
ting the amount he had previously mention
ed.
"Well, said Caleb, with slow delibera
tion and satisfied look, lam gtad The
caaght the aohate. for Iheard they ,cere a
ter him.
| Joe paid the bet.-Caapet Bag.
| -rN~~~-~~~-~1- ~@~~