Columbus Democrat. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 18??-18??, 1852-12-04

he amuses no one, and tries TO amuse no one
From this instinct, for he has no motive for It,
he joins any company the public lounges may
contain drops himself upon the first bench and
there he is fixed till the cows come lie would
never move but for hunger; and long continued
sitting has made seatless breeehes his uniform, and
worn c6rns upon his buttotks as thick as upon the
toes of dandy dancer He can be defined but
by negatives, and has no quality good, bad or in
different, but laziness Ii a gentleman gives him
cigar he lets the fire go out from being too
sluggish to draw. AT table he eats what is closest
% hm.b itmeat or bones, because he is too lazy
to reach out for what lie wants. He bolts his
mouthfuls whole, rather than make the exertion
to chew them. He loves grog, but it is trouble
some 10 mix it, and he takes his liquor raw. His
coat may be threadbare, but it contains no rent,
forbe never moves quick enough to tear it. His
blood is stagnant and but for the salt meat he eats,
in the hot rank days Of the summer, he would
spoil. Laziness is the sum and substance OF his
being and cover him all over like mantle. This
fellow is a mere drone, a mere vegetable, and II
his feet were stuck in the ground he would grow
like tree; he is unworthy of the ancient name
of loafer and for him or to him | have nothing
to say.
Then there is your sensitive loafer, who is
ashamed of his calling and seeks to avoid its
name. His greasy threadbare coat is brushed
till it is as glossy as mirror and white collar at
least is always visible He lives on expectations,
and is always about to do something. He is a
man of "nice feelings" At the least alluson to
Ioaling. he walks off as stiff as buekram and mot
treated like a gentleman, by God" is the shibbo-
leth of his talk. Then there is the sycophantic
loafer who aspires to the place Of a toady, and
hangs on for the crumbs Of some plentiful table
where "thnft may follow fawning." And the bu-
sy loafer, always in hurry; and the bacllbiting
ioaier who despises himself, though he has not the
will to amend. A creature Of gall and spleen
and bitterness, who hates all things that look
sleek and smiling because he is a loafer His on
ly pleasure is in snarng at his betters, and fat
dog cannot pass him without kick. For none
of these fellows do feel any sorrow, and it is not
for them that my tears are flowing. Ii is for the
Phoenix of the tribe the true Simon Pure, the
genuine. undefled, submated loater, the laughing
Philosopher, the butterfly of the summer, the
light bubble that floats on the current of time that
my grief swells high inmy throat. Gay, ragged
and saucy with a jbefor every folly, and a laugh
for any fun, his frolicsome fancy roams over the
earth and finds food for its taste wherever it wan
ders. Prompt for any prank which cannot be
profitable, and ready to do any mans business but
his own. Always easy, lively, and comical, he
repines at no mans good luck, nor at his owr,
which may be bad. lie laughs at his own straits
as capital joke, and is grateful that if they viii
not get better they cannot get worse. If he hf
no money, he has no care, and though he may
have no shirt, yet it is no NATTER for then he don't
want one. In gutter or garret he is as rich
as in palace, and the sunshine and the liglf
make him content as Diogenes in his tub.
But it has always seemed to me- my hearer,
that even Dogenes must have considered SOM
other little indispensabes as thrown in, or his tub
would hardly have contented him. The tongr
will burn with thirst and the bowels yealn for food.
The stomach is a cantankerous beggar, and vii
not long brook denial. The sun will still yield
you light and the earth offers rest upon its bosom,
but unfortunately that isn't enough. A most III
fortunate, improyident and iniudcious law of ne
ture renders eating indispensable. 1t was wor-
derful oversight in the economy of nature, but the
fact is 50 and it is useless to repine. lgreye from
the bottom OF my soul that food is necessary, but
the fact is SO and the question is, how are you to
getitl 1t does not grow cooked upon the BUSH
es, and the niggard earth will not yield even her
fruits without labor. You cannot ike Nebucad-
nezzar, eat grass like beast, and as for the char
itv Of your fellow men, that horse has been al
ready ridden too hard the spur stroke cannot
now rOuse HIM.
Had your lot in life been cast amid the nowery
isles Of the South Seas where the bread fruit spon-
taneously loads every tree Of the valleys, and
opens its tempting loaves TO the tooth of the
lcungers, "without money and without price, "
on might shin up a sapng and quit the world.
But how can you reach that land Of luxury
without money And besides, the Missionaries
have swarmed TO it, and will tolerate no intrusion
upon their domain or interference with their per-
quistcs. The supply also is less abundant now,
than in days of yore since these holy men have
soothed and solaced the rigor Of their spiritual
duties by recreating their leisure hours in plant
ING a very extensive coffee colored colony (half
Indian, half Mssionary,) which inherits the oung-
inc propensties of both lines Of ancestry. sOf
that point therefore Il is needless to think
1t is clear that YOU must do something for your
selves. and with deep and thoughtful anxiety |
have pondered painfully what it should be.
Robbery would offer ready resource; but most
men look upon it with aversion, and in truth the
profession las not been held honorable for sew
era centuries. The rieyers and lters Of the Scot
tish border, the stark moss troopers Of the bogs,
and the gallant archer, Robin Hood, with his merry
menof the green wood, east halo Of glory around
II which even now will dazzle and charm the fancy;
but it is the general opinion Of judicious men that
this lutre is mertricious, and VIII not bear the test
Of moral analysis. In later days the profession
boasted one shining light one brilliant gem, in the
person of the renowned and chiyalrous Charles
de Moor, who cut throats with the delicate grace
Of eourtier and riied purse with an elegance
which made it luxury to be robbed, The Hero
Of he Black forest its dark deIls still ring with his
fests. The Quixote Of cut-throats, the Bayard
Of Br;eands. the corsair Of the Shore the love Of
ladies and the theme Of song, his name IS en-
balmed in tradition, and his glones bymned IN