Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1852-08-20
Wit ana Gunor.
Eating a Live Dutchman.

AYankee pcdlar travelling through York
State, some twenty years since, put up
at the house of Dutch tavern keeper, for
the night, at the close Of one huc summer
day. At that time, the peculiar prejudiceS
of the Dutch people of that section were
strongly shown IN their Jealousy OF the
Yankees. Our landlord was one who
seemed to take peculiar delight in annoy
ing any descendant of the pilgrims who
CHANGED to fall in his way, aud it may e
supposed he did not neglect any opportu-
nity that presented during the stay Of the
Yankee pedlar to quiz him, or make him
the butt of sly jokes.
Our Yankee friend was not exactly
green, though he kept very quiet demean-
or until .he morning, by which time he
had matured plan for giving the Dutch
man an explanation of the old adage, What
is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gan
DER
The morning sun had dispelled the mist
of the night Jonathan had hitched his
horse to his cart, and brought him up De-
fore the door ready for start, after he
should have finished his breakfast. The
breakfast passed, aud Jonathan having set
tied his bill felt himself at liberty to meet
tine Dutch,uau half way in any shape he
chose to approach and as signal for
more perfect understanding Of his readi-
ness, he let into him in this sort:
Now, old Sourkrout, before 60, l
have one thing, the last Of large assort-
ment, that want to sell you. You know
you arc very prudent, economical sort of
a man, and one would answer for your
whole family, and you could let your
neighbors use it after you had got done
with it,"
"What in dunder is it," asks Sour
krout.
"Wal, you see now," says Jonathan,
"when l laid in my stock, l bought
prime lot O neasets, and I've sold EN- all
out, except one, and kinder thought, Sec
in how you were a very savin' sort Of
man, Icould let you have that one measle;
ofcourse You could make il good all around.
and Jonathan had all the laugh to him
self.
The Dutchman began to blustsr as soor
as he got the idea " thro ugh his WOOL"
and thinking he could do as be chose with
the apparently green Yankee, he commen-
ced bullying.
"Look- k-a-here, mister, none or your
tricks upon travellers" says Jonathan
"needn't think you can scare Yankee,
no how. Why rot your old cabbage gar
den, I've known a Yankee to eat such a
Dutchman as you are before breakfast"
"a Yankee eat Dutchman OATS |
likely story. I'll bet you five tollar you
can't eat me!'
"Tll take that bet," says the Yankee
" "call in your neighbors to see fair play"
The neigbbors were called in, and the
preliminaries arranged, in which it was
agreed that the Dutchman should take off
his boots, wash his feet, and lay down on
the table, whereupon the stakes were put
up.
The Dutchman was " laid out" and Jo-
nathan proceeded very deliberately to unite
his neck ribbon, and unbutton his shirt
collar preparatory to his cannibal feast.
Approaching the table where lay the
wondering Dutchman, Jonathan took up
one of his feet, and brought it to his mouth,
and made very significant impression
with his teeth on the Dutchman's big toe,
which elected kick and roar.
"OA! mine Got! Stop pising; dat
hurt"
"Never mind you don't expect am
going to swallow You. That wasn't the
bet; bet l could eat you," and he made
another bite.
Old Sourkrout soon perceived that the
Yankee had tricked him, and that he must
either be eaten or lose his five dollars
He chose the latter alternative; the money
was paid to the Yankee, who left with
high honors, having vindicated the fame .
Of YaDkeedom and sustained its high rep
utation for the production of wooden nut
megs and Yankee tricks. The old Dutch
man has learned to respect the superior
sagacity of Yankee pedlars, and from that
day, since, he has treated them with due
difference, and never fails to look remark
Ibly silly if anybody says anything about
eating raw Dutchmen in his presence.
.-. '
Mr.. Punch presents his compliments to
Mr.. Hussey, and hearing that his resping :
machine is the best for corn-cutting, will
eel obliged by one being sent Immediately +
IS he wishes to cut his own .coras. Mrs!t
Punch would not have troubled the celebsa-
ed American Hussey, but his own wiA
udy, Is such law hussey. that Sha w;lY u =