Columbus Democrat. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 18??-18??, 1852-05-15
FACETIE

You can't do that again. as the pig said when
the boy cut his tail of
A Dutchmau says; "Honesty islhe bes, policy"
but ii Keeps one tam poor.
81 got some boot in that argain, as the loaler
SAID when kicked out of doors.
A Jealous husband threatens to chastze "the
evening slall' for blinking at his wife.
/ Jones says the best bite he ever had on
fishing excursion, was the bite he took with him.
Why is ain errand boy like an old horse put
10 auction Because he'll 60 for what he'll
fetch.
Coward ice is The ice" which melts and runs
away in time Of danger, and is quite different
article from cool courage
II you canEol inspire woman with love of
you, Ill her above the brim with love Of her.
sei--al that runs over will be yours.
Nothing can be SO kind as a woman's heart
and less likely TO iniliet blow; and yet, strange
to say, it is never 50 happy as when it is beat.
ing.
Wanted, man Of undoubtable p,obsrty and
happiness, 10 preside over the society Tor the
em"Iiolaon Of The deplorabIe c. ndition of the
rich.
Whats the matter this morning. Toni"
"Caught cold, that's all" "Yes, | saw y.u
after Que last night, with your coat off, ! tho I
you'd catch it,"
REFRESHING
"Gve me kiss, my charming Sal"
lover saidto blue eyed gal;
81 won't" said she, you lazy eff,
Screw up your Ups and help yourself"
81 feel" said old lady, "tbat I've got about
through with this world. | can't enjoy much
more trouble, nor suller much more comfort"
The saying that "ihere is nothing to be gain
ed by cheating came from the fact that man
passed bad cent for a handful of chesnuis,
which proved to be all rotten.
"What is the best attitude for selfdelence?"
said a-pupil (putting on gloves to well known
pusist. Keep civil tongue in your head"
was the significant reply.
A good natured word is worth more to some
men, than all the cold potatoes that were ever
cooked. People who send away folks with
shilling and slamed door, viii please copy.
4 poet carried some verses to critic, and
desired his opinion oftheir merit. After reading /,
them. the critic observed-"My dear sir, these
lines need fire." And he threw them in the \
CRATE.
man with large family was complaining !
OF the difficulty disappearing all ofihem. "But,"
said friend, 'you have sons big enough to
earn something for you now" The difficulty is.
they are too big to work."
Ass oeiatioa Of Ideas.
Twas thought, as we are told, in days Of yore.
marvellous thing,when Balaain' ass did sneak;
But had the prophet lived some centuries more.
No longer would Il seem wonderous a freak I
For now, more wondcrous still I'VE asses find. q
Not only given tc loquacious talking, j
But aping still more closely human kind /
They're actually seen Oh fc0 Lgs vakiag! n
EPigram on receiring a GlOue from Lady.
IN keep the gilt, wbere'er rove,
For twas ny pride, my JOY to win t.
But when you next give me glove, !
Y, lady lei youf hand be in il. a
deacon not remarkable for good eyesieht Il
1nce in giving out a psalm Tor the congregation 4
% sing, when be came 10 the lines a
TThe eastern ssCes shall come ia IN
With messages Of grace" o
Jui the audience ia roar Of laughter, b. read v
ng out in loud voice C
"The eastern stages shaB' come in "a
With sausenges and cheese" b
Mn CL.Y's Hr.rrE-VVe learned las. ere 81