The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1852-09-10
FANNY FERN ON MATRIMoNY.

4 Shouldn't like TO make a bon fire Q
all the 'HinIs to Young Wives, iMar
ried Womnh's Friends," &c, and thro,
in the author after them! have a lilrl
neighbor who believes all they tell he
| is gospel truth, and lives up to II. The
| minute she sees her husband coming Vi
street, she makes for the door, az if she
hadn't another minute 10 live, stands il
the entry with her teeth cbatiering il
her head ill he gets all bis coats ar,
l.mufflers, and over-shoes. and what-do
call'ems, off' Then chases round (Iike 1
Ilcat in a fly sfier the bnot jack; warns
|his slippers, and puts 'em on, and dislo
Gates her wrist carving a, the table, fol
fear il will tire him.
Poor little Innocent fool she imag
lines hats the way 10 preserve his affec.
tions. Preserve iddleslick! The con
sequence is, he's sick o: the sigh, Of her
snubs her when she asks him question,
alter be has eaten her good dinner, takes
himself off as soon as possible, bearing
in mind the old provefb, @,hat too much
ofa good Thing is good for nothing p
Now the truths just this, and i wish al
women on earth had but one ear in com
mon, so thai could put this little gospe
| into IL: Jus so long as a man isn't quite
as sure az if he knew certain, whether
nothing on earth could ever disturb your
affection for him, he is your humble SER
va nj; but the vary second he finds oui
Tor thinks he does) that he has possession
of every inch ofyour ieart--dnd no neu-
trail terriiory--he will turn on his heel,
and march off whistling yankee Deo-
dle.r .aa.15 fag saa
Now it'S no use to take your pocket
handkerchief and go sniveling round the
house with pink nose and red eyes;
no, Bit Of Il. If y6u have made the
interesting discovery TINT you were mar
ried fot sort ofupper servant, or house
keeper, just fill tint place and no 9th
er, keep your temper, keep all his
s,rings, and buttons, aud straps on, and
then keep him at distance, as house
keeper should--s;them'smy senlimeuis!~
| have seen, one or Two men in my lie
who could beerto be loved (as a women
with soul knows how) without being
.spoilt by ii, or converted into a tyranl
but they arerare hi ds, and should be
caught, stuffed. and senttn Barnum!-
Now, as the ministers say, "I'll close
with an interesting incident that came
under my own. observation. 81
Mr.. Fern came home one day when
1 had such cfrcifying headache tha, |
couldn't have told whether / was mar
ried or single, and threw an old coat in-
to my lap 10 mend. Well, lied wei
bandage over my head. ."left all Aying,n
and sat down 10 it-he might as we'll
asked me TO make him new one how
ever, Il lined The sleeves mended all the
button holes, and sewed on new buttons
down the front, and all over the coat
tails when finally il occurred 10 me q
believe it was suggestion Of fSataD) thai,
the pocket might need mending; SO /
turned il Inside out. and ichat do you
think 1 found? A lone letter from him
to my dress maker, ! dropped the coat,
| dropped lbe work basket, dropped
the buttons, / dropped the baby, iii was
a FEMALE, ard Ilho', il just as well to
put her out Of future nisery,) and then
| hoped up into chair in front Of The
looking. glass, and remarked 10 the young
womanl saw there, 'sFA NN.Y FERN!
IF ynU--.ARE---Ey Err -s-suCH--A--coN-
FOUNDED -rooL--AGAIN'-and | was
mi! s \