The mountain sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1844-1853, 1852-05-20
A Down East sham Battle.

representing that important fact in our countrys
history. .r
The little tows-sf Waterford, situated npon
the banks of the broad and majestic Crooked
River, resolved not to be behind hand in so
great an affair Accordingly meeting was
called at the old Town House, on the s'Hil," to
make the necessary arrangements. Deacon
Moses Jones, as he was called, was chosen to
enact the character of Washington and Squire
Bier Wood the character of C0rn,caAis. The
under officers, soldiers &C., were to be selected
by the selectmen, whose duty it to furnish
uniforms and pay such other expenses as the
affair should incur.
Now as Messrs. Jones and Wood are the prin-
cipal heroes of the sketch, short description
of their characters may not be deemed out of
place. Deacon Jones was q wealthy farmer,
proud and religious, (at least he thought he
was, and was on the whole a very worthy man.
The worst thing about him was bad habit he
had acquired of taking ga drop too much - but
then this was not thought great deal of, for
every body in 'sthem days took ''suthin'' occa-
sionally.
Squire Wood was the village lawyer, very
aristocratic, but, withal, very clever man.
The Squire imagined that he knew considerable
more than his neighbors gave him credit for
This may safely be set down as his greatest fault
Both the Squire and Deacon were proud of their
positions in this great affair, and both meant to
do their best.
The morning of the great day dawned beau
tifully. The Deacon, dressed as General Wash
ington, and mounted on his Iron gray" retired
with his men, dressed as ''Continentals true"
| at early hour to a grove near the village
! where the ceremony was to take place.
| CORVALLIS (pro. TEN. was also up and dres-
sed before fight, and stationed himself, with his
| men dressed as Britishers, behind the ''Hills' -
The programme of the days performance was
as follows. The two companies were to meet
| III front of the tavern, on the common, exchange
| shots skirmish a ittle-in which CORVALLIS
was to be most essentially whipped-and then
ingloriOusy surrender
At early dawn thousands poured into the little
village, to see the fun and celebrate the great
! day. Punch, rum-fip and ginger bread were in
| great demand. At o'clock the two companies
marched into the village and arrayed themselves
into fighting position, reminding the spectator
of the time when
| ''Brave Wolfe drew up his men,
In styl most pretty,
On the plains of Abraham,
Before the city
The two commanders were greatly excited,
and Washington, l regret to say, was in any
thing but fit condition to 'tact OUT the great
part he to perform. He had been drinking
freely all the morning, and now, when the in
! tarp was aho fn
SO tight or, rather, loose, that it was with
difficulty he could sit in his saddle. lie, how
ever, did not know but what he was ':all right. u
nor did his men, Cornwallis was not intoxica-
ted, but little agitated, or, rather, elated
Everything being ready, the companies ex-
changed shots. Bang whang :. bang !
went the guns, while the two commanders vel
led like SO many stuck pigs.
''That's it, (hic) my brave boys give it to
'em, the owdacious red coats :" beloved Wash.
| ington.
''On, Romans p" yelled the excited CORVALLIS
who had seen theatrical exhibition once, and
who remembered the heroic appeals of the Thes-
plan belligerants ''Jreathes there a man so deq0
that wouldn't fight like thunder !''
$50 it, Continentals ''-down with taxation
on tea ~ beloved Washington in a very patri-
otic voice, and narrowly escaped cutting his
horses ear off with the flourish Of his sword
The fighting now ceased, the companies were
| drawn up in straight line. and Cornwallis dis
mounted and presented his sword to Washing
| ton.
''WeIl, old bey," said the immortal, as he
cuffed his horses ears with his cooked hat,
''what N thunder do youwant ?"
General George Washington ~ replied Corn
wallis, 81 surrender up to you myself sword
and men ~
eyes, General said CORVALLIS ''the Trit-
ish Lion prostrates himself at the foot of the
American Eagle J"
'tEagle ! EAGLE !" yelled Washington, roll
ing off his horse and hitting the fallen Briton q
a tremendous blow on the head with the fiat Of
his sword edo you call me an eagle Take
that and that and that! :. ."' yelled the in,
furiated Washington "Irehaps you'll call me
a eagle agin, you mean, sneaking cuss -
Cornwallis was doVn, but only for moment
for he jumped up and shook himself, and then,
with an entirely unlocked for recuperation OIL
the part Of fallen foe, and in direct defiance
of historical example, he pitched into Washing
ton like a thousand of brick, and, in spite o.