The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1852-02-27

AUNT HETTY's IDEA OF MATRMoXY..--
"Now, girls" said Aunt Hetty, put down
your embroidery and worsted work, do some
thing sensible, and stop building air-castles,
and talking of lovers and honey-moons; it
makes me sick, it's perfectly antimOnial. Love
is a farce---matrimony is a humbug, husbands
are domestic Napoleons, Neroes, Alexanders,
sighing for other hearts to conquer after
they are sure of yours. The honeymoon is
as short lived as Lucifer match; after that
you may Wear your wedding dress at the wash
tub, and your night-cap to meeting, and your
husband wouldn't know it. You may pick
up your own handkerchief, help yourself to n
chair, and split your gown across the back
reaching over the table to get piece of but
ter, while he is laying in his breakfast rs if it
was the last meal ne should eat this side of
Jordan; when he gets through he will aid
your digestion, (while you are slipping your
your first cup of cofee0 by enquiring what
you'll have for dinner whether the cold lamb
was all ate yesterday, if the charcoal is out,
and What YOU gave for the last green tea you
bought. Then he gets up from the table,-
lights his cigar with the last evenings paper,
that you have not had a chance to read give
two or three whifis of smoke, sure to give
you the headache for the afternoon, and just
as his co;.t-thil is vanishing through the door,
apologises for not doing that errand" foryou
yesterday---thinks it doubtful if he can to day,
$50 pressed uih business" Hear of him at
eleven O'clock taking an ice cream with sons
ladies, at Vintons, while you are at home,
new lining his old coat-sleeves Children by
the ears all day, can't 60 out to take air, fe,l
as crazy as fly in drum husband comes
home at night, mods show dye do Fam" box
es Charley's ears, stands little Fanny up in
the corner, sits down in the easiest chair, in
the warmest corner, puts his feet up over the
grace, shutting out all the fire, while the ba-
by's little pug nose grows blue with the cold;
reads the newspaper all to himself, solaces
his inner man with cup Of hot tea, and just
as you are labOrlng under the hallucnatiOn
that he will ask you to take Il mOuthiul Of
fresh air with him, he puts on his dressing
gown and slippers and begins to reckon up
the family expenses, after which he lies down
on the sofa, and you keep time with your
needle, while he snores till nine O'clock
Next morning ask him to leave you "littlo
money" he looks at you as if to be sure you
are in your right mind, draws sigh long
enough to initiate pair Of bellows, and asks
you "what you want of it, and if half dol
lar won't do" Gracious king, as if all these
little shoes and stockings, and pinafores, and
petticoats, could be had for "half dollar
Oh girls, set your affections on cats, poodles,
parrots, or lap-dOgs but let matrimony IL
lone It's the hardest way on earth Of get
ting living; you never know when your
work is done up. Think of carrying eight or
nine children through the measles, chicken
poX, rash, mumps and scarlet fever, some 'em
twice over and it makes my sides ache 10
think of it, Oh, you may scrimp and save,
and twist and turn, and dig and delve, and
economise and die, and your husband will
marry again, take what you've saved to dress
his second wife with, and she'll take your
portrait for fire-board, and - but what's
the use Of talking! I'll warrant every oneof
you'll try it, the first chance you get; there's
sort of bewitchment about it, somehow.
wish one-half of the world warn't fools, and
t'ether half idiots, do Oh dear"
FANNY FERN