The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1852-05-24
THE DAILY DISPATCH.
GOOD THINGS FROM THE KNICKER.
BOOKER.

1
the knickerbocker Magazine for May:
| COMPARING BEAUTY.-In the Eastern mar
OF Delaware county, in this State, there reside:
man named B, now Justice of the Peace
ahd very sensible man, but, by common con
sent, the ugliest looking individual in the
whole country; being long, gaunt, salIow and
awry with gait like Kangaroo. One day
ne was out hunting, and on one of the noun.
tam roads he met man on foot and alone who
was longer, gaunter, ugler, by all odds, than
himself. He could give the "Square' "fifty
and beat him." Without saying word. b
raised his gun and deliberately leveled it at the
stranger. "For Gods sake, don't shoot..''
| shouted the man in great alarm. 'Stranger,''
replied B","I s~ore ten years ago, that il
ever met man uglier than was, I'd shoe,
him; and you are the first one I've seen.'' The
stranger after taking careful survey of his
"nval,'' replied: "Wal, captain, If look
worse than g0u do, shoot, don't want to live
| SCENE IN CoURT.-fn a recent murder
trial in this city, of great public interest, where
| the usual course OF intimidating or bluffing
| the adverse witnesses was frequently resorted
to, the following colIoquy was held. Lawyer
-,for the prisoner, was engaged in the
| cross examination OF Dir. c.: "Now, wit.
ness, you stated that il was your impression
that the prisoner did not have on dirty shirt
| when you saw him; now can you say on your
oath, that he did not have on dirty shirt p
II am positive" replied the witness, sthat he
did not have on dirty shirt at that time''-
counsel, with ferOcious air and stentorian
voice: Then sir, how dare you say that it
was your impression, if you were positiue p
Leave the stand sir" The opposing counsel
| called him back. "Mr. c., are Won under
the impression that yoa were not knocked down
on your way to the court room this morning?"
Yes, Sir" "Do, you know you were not ?"
les, Stree "Ihen," assuming the air and
tone OF Mr. 3, show dare you state 10 this
| jury and the court, On your oath, that it was
your impression that you were not knocked
| down, when you knew positively that GU were
not! You may leave the stand.'
C0TToS.-Much amused to odav by an anec.
dote, new to us, Of a clergyman in Georgia,
who had often been accused Of being a better
planter than preacher. One Sabbath morning.
during season Of excitement in the cotton
market, and after prayer of more than com
mon length and tervency, which seemed to dis
turb somewhat his usual self possession, he
to0A up his hymn book and devouily said ::
"You will plea Sc sing the iortielh psalm. Sc.
cond part, long staple ~
NECRoLoGY.-Our old rooster is dead! He
was q glorious old cock, and treated his
harem with the utmost galantry and kindness,
scratching" about for them in the soil of the
flower borders, and calling them about him 10
partake of the food the gods had Provided
But the brave old fellow began to sicken; his
''shrll clarion at daylight dwinded to a PEN
ny trumpet, and very poor herald of the morn
was he. AT length he began to grow shabby;
to lose all pride in his personal appearance:
and anon, lost all heart, aud would lie prone
on The tagging of the walks, with his CORFU
gated legs, "like the corn in the brake, stick.
ing straight out before him; and while living
in this condition, with dimming eye and abated
crest" the women-tolk of his household would
go up and hout him, and pick at his attenua.
ted legs. And so he died leaving three widows
and an interesting family of orphan eggs, some
of them of a very tender age. When shall
we look upon such a cock again?
SPECULATING.-"Dick Bedford" saws a
clever Wisconsin correspondent, "a perfect
specimen of unmiIigat improvidence, upon
being censured by his employ er for his vagran-
cy and destitution, came back with an excuse
which, as it was accompanied with his am
swear it's fact," cannot, of course, be ques-
toned. You see, Captain" said he, '.l'ye
not always been so Internally poor. Last
August tended Dod's furnace, and as was
running some hot led into the pig moulds, |
split in it out of my vest pocket, three hundred
dollars in silver, that was keeping for a fellow,
and, by Gimin, ii melted quicker than you
could say Jack Robinson!" "And so you lost
it," responded the Captain "All but the lost?"
replied Dick. Il ust said nothing to nobody;
boug hit that pig, and sold it to jeweller in
Galena for five hundred dollars. That's the
kind of speculations get! Shall water the
horses now, Captain?"
CHARACTERISTICS OF GREAT MEN.