The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1852-03-05
THE DANDY AND YANKEE, OR FUN
ON THE SIMPSON.


While the "Simpson" lay at our wharf last
trip, queer looking bped might have been
seen vending his way towards the boat,
"toteing" a large hair-trunk under his arm.
/ Let us describe him. His upper story was
topped with coon skin cap, long uneombed
sandy hair streabing out from beneath it and
falling arc ind like flax over brake. His
cost was built as if for a single breasted vest,
with narrow rim running around the neck,
stiff as Il shingle; then altered by inserting
sleeves shirt fashion into the shoulders - the
garment being buttoncd up ''chock" in front
+ with small brass buttons. Between the
lower part of the aforementioned coat pnd the
! trowsers was a gap of about three N9hes-
| tilfeush whicra dingy shirt pulled out ike a
life preseryer. His pants was of linsey-
woolsey, the larger part of the cloth in the
neighborhood Of his hinder suspender buttons
the smaller quantity remaining growing
smaller and smaller till it reached some six
inches from the red untanned shoes that
covered the pedal extremities as tight rs
India rubber ga ters A tallow compeYiOncd
countenance, grey eyes, and you have the
man.
lie walked up the plank on the boat, de.
posted his trunk on cotton bale, crossed his
hands behind, took general view Of things in
general. and noticing the engineer getting NJ
steam, walked around to communicate with
him.
"Gucss this 'eres main fast criticr oy
youm.'
"Ah,"-grunted the engineer not disposed
to enlarge his circle of acquaintance by the
Chcstertedian mode,
"Ncyer kicks cout oy the brecchin."
"Ho."
"Nor rars nor pitches, nor nothin Of that
scott"
Bah"
"Wcll, old hoss, guess ycou'll never die
! from wastin' yer breath, fer We keep yer rusty
old mouth as close rs an lister. Yer don't
pretend to say this ere ugly lookin' consarn
can run fast. Je-mi-ma, eff yeoud seen my
brothers wites uncle skeet, yer wouldn't
think it. Yer see he run agin time, and tew
beat, he run so gol-alfrod fast that his hair
whipped and cracked, so that when he cum
eout at the eend Of the race, he was clean
bald-hcaded, fact, but that warnt prmin
| tcw what he did one mite racin with ghost"
Here the engineer opened the satcty-yalve,
in close proximity to the coon skin, which
suddenly Disappeared thus breaking the
thread Of the ghost story, its proprietor soon
making his entrance into the ladies' cabin,
which WAS only occupied by Il black cham
| bcrmaid,
"Gemman's cabin next door; no gemman
lowed in ere without ladies'" said the darky,
angry at the intrusion Of such looking man
i'1ufD'tife cabin.
"Aint gwinc tow fetch nothin,' Jest
wanted TO examine the crtter. What's them
arr" pointing to the state rooms.
"For de ladies brefs, sar"
"How many hcv yer got!"
Bout thirty sgh"
"Whar's the wimen folks!"
son de deck. slh'
"Thirty births year, 'spose, what fine
place fer doctor tew settle in, lots ov sick
ness 'mong so menny," soliloquized he, while
he stuck his head into stIteroom to see the
/ accommodations. "a real Earrer contracted
tucked up consarn, the folks ep on our ken
! try wouldn't live in sich tite, narrer con-
tractcd naberhOod."
During this soliIiquy the chambermaid
opened the door into the gentlemens cabin
"Sah, gemmens de likes oh yer amt lowed
in here tall, yer must go from here quicker
dan 'mediately"
He sauntcred out of the door, asking rs il
was slammed shut in his face, if there was a
regular doctor settled in that ncighborhood,
which interrogatory not receiving Il response,
| he perambulatcd the cabin with his hands
crossed behind, making observations and
| inquiries, much to the amusement of II crowd
| of passengers, and none more so than that OF
Il double-refned, patent elastic, made to order
! (by tailor) dandy, who with his little sickly
| goatee, and bigger sicklicr moustache, per-
| tumcd soap-locks, standing shirt collar, rising
like two sidc-boards, to fence in the face
galyenzed watch chain, wasp waist, little
heeled boots, and goose nCckcd cane with a
puppy's head on it, containing nearly as much
| brains as the head Of the owner, was cutting
quite a swell, dem-ning everything for not
being as he wished it, and disgusting every
one by his sclt-importnce and senseless
! tWaddIc.
AT dinner, by chance, the dandy and Yam
kce SGT opposite each other at the table
After Captain Bell had performed the usual
ceremony Of asking a blessing, the dandy
| threw himself back on his dignity, and called
out in pompous tone to the waiter:
"Yaw demd wataw, brwing me the sup
portah Of a young female hen, fresh laid
! hcgg and rub the bochim Of me plate wath II
spechamne of fruit wulgary called an inion,
which will give to me dinnah Il delicate
flavor"
The Yankee quick drew himself back in
imitation Of his opposite ncighbor, and in II
nasal tone called out:
"Ycou darned, alI-drod, dod-blasted, dad
rabited, posky looking little tlrnal black
nigger, fetch me peek oy corn, a bundle oy
fodder, and rub me down with brickbat
while feod.'
Men ceased to think of masticating, while
IN uproarious yell arose which fairly shook
the cabin, during which the dandy was seen
strcaking out of the door with finger in
each ear. We are crediby informed that
Bell lost four suspender buttons, and was
troubled with an open couDtenance an hour
afterwards.
The dandy waited for the next boat, while
the Yankee made the trip with n chalked hat.
Henry Nail moved TO the town of Santa
Cruz, California, about sixteen years ago.
lie died from gun-shot in lS45 His estate
is now worth 100000. lie has brother
living near Bolivar, Tenn, and others near
Huntsville, Ala, his property is in possession
I A. lt. p.,.,,,. ,..t,.r Isuo. Eraburn ,,,hn