The southern press. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1852-02-19
For the Southern Press.
Relies OF Scraps and Musings.
WHAT is MAN +!

WHAT IL MAN
Various have been. the attempts of phoso-
piers and learned men to answer this question.
He has been defined as two-egged animal
without feathers; a shaving animal; cooking
animal; dressing animal a reasoning animal !;
and laughing animal. If the latter is the true
definition, assuredy our members of Congress
are most emphatically man., for they laugh at
anything and sometimes at nothing, if we may
trust the reporters, who never fail TO chronicle
laugh, as one Of the most important items in
the proceedings of our grave Legislators. 1t
would seem that every ansmher laughs not only
for himself, but all his constituents, who must
be melancholy set Of rogues in being thus de-
prived Of one Of the most important rights of
sovereignty. | have been assured by an ANA
teur, who regularly attends the debates at the
capital that he has more than once seen a most
important question settled by hearty laugh at
one Of the dullest jokes Of Mr. HALE, the Sena-
tor from-Afrca. II would be task worthy
Of the most profound philosopher-provided
he had nothing better TO !do-to investigate the
cause Of that propensity to laughter, which may
be observed In all grave assemblies. have
seen jests that anywhere else would have fallen
dead TO the ground, set whole Legislative body
in a roar, though celebrating on the most inter.
esting subject. This is especially the case with
the Senator from Africa, who makes amends for
the pointless, edgeless jokes he perpetrates, by
tipping them with Abolition venom. Yet the
grave conscript fathers laugh at them hugely in
the midst of their patriotic deyotions, Just as I
have often seen pious congregation while de.
youtly listening TO their pastor, suddenly thrown
in,oa universal litter, by the gambols Of a little
pestilent cur, who had somehow or other made
his way into the Tabernacle. Man is certainly
laughing animal, and as negroes are the most
so Of any In the world-except honorable mem
bers-they are certainly fully equal TO white
men.
KINGS AND HEROES IN TARTARUs.
Rabelais,-th greatest scholar, the greatest
wit, and the greatest buffoon Of his age-dis
poses Of some Of the most renowned poteutates
and heroes in Tartarus as follows:
Xerxes, was a crier Of mustard.
Cyrus, a cowherd.
Artaxerxes, a rope maker.
Achilles, a scald- pate maker Of hay bundles.
Agamemnon, link boy.
Marcellus, shelter OF beans.
Hannibal, kettle maker and seller of epp
shells.
Pertinax, a peeler Of onions.
yustinisn, apedlar.
Cambyses, mule driver.
Antiochus, chimney sweeper.
Pope julius, q crier Of oysters.
Pope Bonifsce,a skinner of pots.
Pope Alexander, rat catcher
Pynhus, kitchen sculion.
Tigfanes, thatcher of houses.
Alexander, greaser of old boots, &c, &c.
SO also, when Pantsgruel had conquered the
arnaurots, Panurge married their king Anarchus
to an old lantern carrying bag and made him q
crier of green sauces. II is great pity many
Of the kings and great men of our day. would
not resort TO some Of these means Of getting an
honest living.
LEARNING THE NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
The same author tells of fool who set his
nets TO catch the wind, and caught nothing but
cock.chsfers; another who kept watch on a
high tower to protect the moon from wolves
and another who called getting drunk, learning
the multiplcation-table, because it converted the
seven stars into fourteen.
JUSTICE.
Justice il is said has no eyes. II were well
she were without ears or hands, and then she
would neither be msled by lawyers, nor bribed
by clients.
LOUIS sAPoLEor's CONSTITUTION
fhe French nation, after half dozen revolu.
TONS has acquired nothing but the right Of
choosing every sir YEAR. . ren,os.r,.,;,a k,s,,