Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1852-03-26
Short Patent Sermon.
By Dow, IR.
shall give sermon to-day drawn from the follow
inp tpyt


Her laboring industriousy,
Will make a wife for you
MY hearers-it was ordained by Heaven-not by the
devil-that every man should have wife and every
woman be blessed with husband. In the beginning
God made two of the genus homo-of opposite SEX
The one he elected positively and the other mega
lively, that when approximated, their mystical eff
feet could be produced from the other The
how, why, and the wherefore, mortal has vet been
able to understand, neither is it necessary that he
should The naturally approach and adhere to
each other, through some mysterious influence that ai
mts of no solution. Let il suffice that it is So
When the Creator made Adam he that it was not
good for him to be alone, he mesmerZed the man
dug rib from his side without the least particle of
pan-and from it he made Eve 10 be a helpmate for
him, well fancy paything Now without
knowing what love was, they couldn't help loving the
moment they set their eyes upon one another. He
cast sleeps eyes at her at distance and she threw
some killing glances in return that fired his soul, and
rail in souwester. They finally came together just
naturally couple of apple seeds in basin of
water. But situated as they al first, and having
little manual labor to perform-Eve could be of
little utility TO Adam, and Adam couldn't do great
deal for Eve. Still they loved and were ready 10 as
sst each other, in of any emergent casualty and
when they found that aprons necessary, they
sat to and with the needle worked together for mutual
good. Eve only understood plain sewing-she knew
nothing about your embroidery, lace working and p-
playing The couple perfectly happy in
their rude and rough state, until the old sarpnt got
among em, and even then they stuck to each other
through thick and thin-through all the brambling
vicissitudes of life, from Paradise to Perdition.
My brethren, since you know that marriage is d
vine institution and that every of you should have
wife, what kind of rib would you select? pref
ty little useless doll, or woman big and spunky
enough 10 wrestle with bear and come off first best?
imagine you would care nothing for either extreme :;
but you would look for personal charms 0, you fool
ish lido aters at the shrine Of beauty! Know you Nc t
that hundreds of husbands have been made miserable
by handsome wives, and thousands happy in the
possession Of homely ones ?-homely without, heaut
ful within Alas! what is beauty? 1t is a flower
that wits and Wlthers almost as soon as 1t Is plucxed
transient rainbow, feetng meteor, deceltful viii
o'wisp, submated moonshine. The kind of wife
you want is of good morals and know how 10 mend
trousers, who reconcile peeling potatoes with prac
tical fashionable pety, who waltz with churn
dash and sing with teakettle who understood broom
ology, and the true science of mobbing-who knit
stockings without knitting her brows, and knit up her
husbands raveed sleeve Of care-who prefers sowing
tares with her needle 10 sowing of scandal with
her tongue Such is decidedly a better half Take
her if you get her, wheresoever you find her
let her be up to her elbows in the sudS of wash
tub, or picking geese in a stable.
My hearers-ny next speaks OF a lady before
wash tub. You may think it absurl, but let me as
sure you that female be a lady before wash
tub, in the kitchen, much in the drawing
or in the parlor. What constitutes lady? II is not
costly dress, paint for the cheeks false hair and still
false airs but it is in her general department.
her intellectual endowments, and that evidence Of
virtue which commands the respect and admiration
of the world. She would be recognized la
dy at once-it matters not where in what situa-
tion she were found-whether scorchng bed bugs
with red-hot poker, following halIeIujah at
Methodist camp meeting All that have fulther to
say, fellow bachelors, is that when you marry, see
that YOU get a lady inside and out-one who knows
how to keep the pot boiling and looks well 10 the
household. So mote il be.
WHY PEOPLE DRINK.-Mr A drinks because his
doctor recommended him 10 take little.
Mr. B. because his doctor has ordered him not, and
he hates such quackery
Mr.. c. takes drop because he's wet.
Mr. D because he's dry.
stomach.
Mr.. F. because he feels kind of sinking in his
stomach.
Mr.. because he's hot.
Mr.. K 10 digest bis dinner
Mr.. w. because he's got no friends, and
Mr.. X because his uncle lett him legacy.
MIR. Y because his aunt cut him off without shil-
ling.
RAILROAD FeNCEs.-The Senate of Pennsylvania
has passed bill requiring OF the New York and Erie
Railroad Company build fences along the track of
their road, in Pike county. is also proposed that
the committee internal Improvements enquire into
the expedency of inserting IN all railroad bills that
may hereafter be reported, provision requiring the
10 fence in their roads, in as safe ma,ner
as possible for the protection of life and property
A CoMpARIsoN-An honest lady in the country. /
when told of her husbands DEATH exclaimed. Well,
do declare, troubles do not alone 1t amt
a week since lost my best men. and now Mr. Johnson
has gone, ioo-poor man" szs