The Portsmouth inquirer. [volume] (Portsmouth, O. [Ohio]) 1849-1855, 1852-02-06
Benedict the Married Man.

DOuCuAOS thO HAuIAlCu ukdus
The following amusing sketch is from Mr..
Mitchells much talked Of "Dream Life
1t is rather impertinent for one who is moth
ing, himself, but bachelor, to write about
a condition of life Of which he knows moth
ing; but as an effort of the Imagination his
sketch is all the more entertaining:
You grow unusually ainiable and kind
you are earnest in your search of friends
you shake hands with your office boy, as if he
were your second cousin. You joke cheer
fully with the stout washerwoman; and give
her shilling over-change, and insist upon
her keeping il; and grow quite merry at the
recollection Of it. You tap your hackman
on the shoulder very familiarly, and tell him
he is capital fellow; and don't allow him
to whip his horses, except when driving to
the post Office. You even ask him to take
glass of beer with you upon some chilly
evening. You drink to the health Of his
wife. He says he has no wife :-whereupon
you think him very miserable man /; and
give him dollar by way Of consolation. (
You think all the editorials in the morning
papers are remarkably we'll written-wheth-
er upon your side or upon the other. You
think the stock-market has very cheerful
look-with Erie-of which you are a large
holder--down to seventy i've. You wonder
why you never admired Mrs. Hemans before,
or Stoddard, or any OF the rest.
You give pleasant twirl 10 your fingers,
as you saunter along the street; and say-bnt
not so loud as to be overheard-'She is mine
she is minep II
You wonder If Frank ever loved Nelly one
half as well as you love Madgs? You feel
quite sure he never did. You can hardly con-
ceive how it is that Madge has not been
seized before now BY scores Of epamored
men, and borne of, like the Sabine women
in Romish history, You chuckle over your
future, like boy who has found guinea in
groping for six pences. You read over the
marriage thinking of the time when
you will take her hand, and slip the ring upon
her finger; and repeat after the clergyman
'Ior richcr-for poorer; for better--for
worse!' Agreat deal of 'worse' there will
be about it, you think5
Through all, your heart cleayes to that
sweet image Of the beloved Madge, as light
i cleaves to day. The weeks leap with q
bound; ana the montlls on:y stow iolS WIZ nI.
you approach 'nat I'd! wAlcn - W lnaAI lel
yours. lnere are no nGwsls % isie eiUusn "e a;. -
make poque.s loi nei, ooo' ro ,sn"a a'0 wv ui,''
for heI 70 wear; pearls are 'dine.
4 And after mernage, lne Meehs ale W evel I,
shorter than before. you wonuei WY on curt. J.
all the single men IN tne wollu W no' lusl
tumultuously TO lhe alIai, you you, LOOK LOOK upon
them all, as lIaVellea man man VIII vii i1oA 1 upol
some concerted Dutcn ooer, wno has hevel
eeen beyond ihe nmlIs o. o. ms eauudge gar
den. Married men, on .ne cunyay iu Jou q
gard as fellow-yoyagers; ana iook upon tneir M ~
(. wiyes-rgly as they may pe---aS pe''ef tnal
none. ,.. ~.
II You blush htt.e a. hfst ieline you
butcher what your wlie Moulu iihs y.
bargain with the grocer ior seeals anu eas
and wonder II ne knows you are Marie, lSs
man2 You practice your new way oi vali M
upon your ofiice boy; you tell MIN llat you
wife" expects you home to dinner, ana ar
astonished that be does not stare 10 near yo'
lsay it?
You wonder If the people in the omniou
kn " that Madge and you are just married
-lhand 10 III him Is for aself and wife y 70,