Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1852-09-08

tie. We find it in an exchange paper
without credit, did we know to, whom
to give the proper credit we would
dose. Nevertheless it is a good story.
and we publish it. hoping that it may tend
Itocorrect this disposition in many youth,
and hence lesson some of the evils conse.
quent upon such practices.
The Way the Women Fixed the Tale
Bearer.
FROM THE ANNALS FRooTowN.
al dunno where heer'd it, but know
its true, expected it long ago. l told
Jones it'd como out so"
"Why, uncle Josh, you don't pretend
to say that Miller's wife has run off with
Bob Tape, Yardstick's clerk, do you"
Eyes do, too I; haint it been the talk
of the neighborhood for year past, that
Miiler's wife and that feller-Bob Tape
were leetle too thick ?"
"Well, uncle JOSH" says ueighbor
Brown, 81 don't recollect any body saying
anything aboutit'but you, and for my part
don't believe word of it."
"Why haint Miller's wife gone ?" says
uncle Josh"
i don't knows she 2" says Brown.
"Besure she is l went over to the
store this morning. the first thing, to see
if Bob Tape was about-.he wasn't thar
they said he'd gone to Boston on business
for old Yardstick. o, no, says l, and
then l started off for Heeltaps shop I'VE
alters said how things would turn out
He was out, but seem me go to his shop,
he came runnin, and says he;
"Uncle Josh, they're gone, sure en-
ough I've been over to old Nanny
Cables, and she sent her Suke over to
Millcr's on pretence of borrowin' some
lard, but told Suke to look around and
see Of Miller's wife wur about: By
Nebbynezr, Miler's wife wur gone -
Marin Cables couldn't rest, SO She sent
back Suke, and told her 10 AK the chill.
dren where their marin wus; Miller hear
ing Suke, ordered her to scoot. SO Sukc
left without hearing the facts Of the case,
as Squire Black says.
"But Heeltap swoars, and know, Mil
ler's wife and Bob Tape have slopcd, as
they Say in the papers"
Well, says Brown, Pm sorry fits
true-1 don't believe word of it though,
and rs it's none Of my business, shall
have nothing TO say about it."
Uncle Josh was one of those inordinatc
pests which almost every village, town,
and hamlet in the country is more or less
accursed with. He was a great tall, bo
ny, sharp-nosed, grinning genius, who, be-
ing in possession of small farm, with
plenty of boys and girls to work it, did
not do anything but eat, sleep, and lounge
around; gatherer of scan mag. news
and scandal monger, great guesser and
q strong suspicioner of everybody's mo-
tives and intentions. and of course, never
imputed good motive or movement to
anybody
You've seen those wretchcs, male and
female, haven't you, dear reader? Such
people are great nuisanccs-haif the dis
comforts of life are bred by them they
contaminate and poison the air they
breathe, with their noisomc breath, like
the odor of the Upas tree. Uuclc Josh
had annoyed many--he was the dread
and disgust of seven-eights of the town
he lived in. He caused more quarrels,
smuttcd more characters, and created
more ill-teeling between friends, neigh
bors and acquaintance than all else be-
sides in the community of Frogtown, I'M
Gle Josh was voted great bore by the
men, and sneaking, meddling old gran
ny by the women. So at last, the young
women of the town did agree that the
very next time Uncle Josh carried, con-
cocted, or circulated any slanderous or
otherwise mischi0vous stories, that they
would duck him in the mill-race.
Now, Brown-old Mister Brown-was
the very antipode of Uncle Josh he was
always for taking matters and things by
the smoothest handle. Mr.. Brown never
told tales, backbited, or slandered anybo-
dy; everybody had good word to say
about Mr., Brown, and Mr.. Rrown had
good word to say about everybody. The
gals tlloughtit prudent to give old Mister
Brown an inkling of their plans in re-
gard to the disposition they intended to
make of Uncle Josh the old man laugh
ed and told them to 60 ahead, and to duck
old Josh, and perhaps they would reform
him.
"Now, gals" said old Mr. Brown, Gun
Gle Josh has just this very day been at
his dirty work by this time he has
spread the news all over the town, that
Miller's wife has gone off with Yardstick's
clerk. i don't believe single word of
his tale, and if Nliller's wife amt really
gone off Uncle Josh ought to be soused
in the mill-race," mI
Next morning Miller's wife came home;
she had been down TO sisters few
nilcs off; to see sick child her hus-
band had been away too at law suit in
neighboring town, and so Miller nor his
wife knew nothing Of tho report of her
elopement with Bob Tape, until their re,
turn.
Miller was in rage, but couldn't find