The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1852-08-25
Mit anA Buli1ur.
Tale of q Shirt Collar.

the Times. AS the weather is very warm,
we recommend it to be read in cool cor
ner, or in shady grove, at some of our
summer retreats or watering places:
l will give you an adventure of BASH
tul lover His name was Damphule, but
we used to call him "Jackass" for short
Heaven help rle, if he should ever hear
this story; l hope he don't take the Spirit.
Among lis many misfortuncs, for he
was cock-eyed, red-haired and knock
kneed, he numbered that inconvenient one
of bashfulness; nevertheless he was fond
of the ladies, although when in their pres
ence he never opened his mouth if he
could help it, and when he did speak he
used both hands to help him to talk; in
fact, he was young man Of "great ac-
tons"
Jack, one warm day, fell in love. He
had just graduated at college, and began
to think he must seek the ladies' society;
he was getting to be man, and it looked
manly to have "penchant."
So Jack fell in love with the sweetest,
liveliest most hoydenish girl in the square
but how to tell his love. There was the
rub. He had heard good deal of the
"language Of the eyes," and he accord
ingly tried that; but when he looked par
ticularly hard at the window in which
Miss Emily was in the habit Of sitting,
some person on the other side of the
street would invariably bow to him, think
ing he was endeayoring to catch their eye.
lie has despiscd expressive eyes ever
since.
At length Jack obtained an introduce
ton through his sister, and with her he
called several times, but she was obliged
to leave the city for a season, and as each
interview had only increased his ardor he
finally determined upon going it alone"
Long before the hour fixed upon by
custom for an evening visit, he found him
self arrayed in his best. Blue coat, metal
buttons, black cashmere pants, (said pants
being leetle tighter than the skin, and
a spotless vest. The journals of the day
state, rs an item Of intelligence, that the
thermometer ranged from IS to 80 deg.
Jack swears it was hundred. As the
hour gradually grew near, Jack found his
perspiration and courage oozing out to-
gether, and he almost determined to pull
off and stay at home. lie concluded
however, he'd take walk past the house
and see how he felt.
BY the time he reached the mansion he
firmly concluded not to go in, but on cast
ing his eyes towards the Iarlor window,
and pereeiving no signs of life there, he
thought it probable that no one was at
home, and since he had proceeded so far,
he would proceed farther and leave his
card.
No sooner determined than concluded.
In a reckless moment he pulled the bell:
the darn'd thing needn't make such
"cussed" noise. The door was opened as
if by magic, and the servant girl politely
asked him in. Miss Emily was alone in
the parlor, and would be delighted to see
him.
o Lord! here was fix Go in a dark
parlor with pretty girl alone! 1t was
too late to retreat; the girl had closed the
front door and was pointing to the parlor
where "Miss Emily was sitting all alone"
Being perfectly convinced that no choice
was left him, into the dark room he walk
ed, or rather sided.
All was perfect chaos to his eyes for a
moment, but only for moment. then
from the deepest gloom came forth an an
gel voice, "bidding him welcome and draw
near" To obey the order was the work
OF moment as he supposed; but he lit
tie dreampt Of the obstacle which fate had
thrown in his way. He knew full well
the stream of love had many ripples, but
full grown snages entered not into his cal
culation.
Judge then of his astonishment on be.
ing trippcd up almost at the fair ones feet
by fat stool with plethoric legs, which
chance or careless servant had placed
exactly on his road to happiness. Over
he went and as the tailor had not allow
ed for IN extra tension of muscles and
sinews, he not only procured tumble,
but also a compound fracture" Of the
black pants aforesaid; said fracture ex-
tending all across that point which comes
in closest contact with tho chair.
Having picked himself up as carefully
rs circumstances would allow, the smoth-
cred laugh Of Miss Emily, mot setting him