Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1852-11-16
d ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 81

% Observation-Disclosures. Sd.
rge ,l5scqsit 5td,la From the N. y. Dutchman.
| 81 Crumbs for all kinds of Chickens1oin
WnAr the deuce did our forefathers do to kill
time and enjoy themselves? Without coffee, how
did they manage breakfast Without tobacco,
what did they smokea Without stoves, how did
they keep warm? Without good roads, how. did
they Keep up sociality? Without potatoes, how
did they getup stew? and without soda water
how did they contrive to work off "last nights
drunk2" What did they do on rainy sdays.for
newspapers? and during the long winter months
for penny magazines? Who'll II answer and pay the
postage7 If anybody, Let him forward by relurn
mail. Hili 100 fEsF 1865 ETaz 5IE 81 .a6nnt
i ONE of the most singular things in this world,
is how men came to chew tobacco. 1t is not only
dirty and disagrerable, and spoils your breath,
mouth and shirt bosom, but it contains pizen' as
deadly as that vended BY rattle -snake;- and yet
in spite of all this there people who prefer it
not only 10 guano but nectar, and actually roll it
under their tongues as a sweet morsel Some men
have no idea of any bliss more exquisite. An old
sailor while on his death bed, was asked what he
supposed Heaven was fenced in with. y With an
eye full of hope and expectancy, he exclaimed
1tpig- tail tobacco'' He had no idea that even God
could make any thing more consoling to regenera
ted man. '"i2tt ta'' t-'"t -''- 'S''- 2" f2-H"..
THERE is one objection to fat and that is, it kills
sympathy. Let man who measures fifty inches
around the waist, fall in love and take to aBenc,
and in less than week he will be figuring as the
principal character in a comic song Had he been
a poor lantern -iawed devil, he would have been
the weeping willows of dozen elegies.
IGsoRAScE takes to dirt as naturally as i, does to
ugliness. In proof Of this, we would mention,
that dealer in ashes informed us that the opening
of public school in Ward increases the sale of
'yaler soap twenty five per cent. From this it
will be seen, that the more people read, the more
10 more INK fher MOI
frequently they indulge in wash basins and clean
towels. ,,,,, ,if ..f T. -a.ssalifg7 4,riaEif,at,.
/ A FRIEND ofours is such believer in Young Hy-
son, that he doubts whether single murder was ey
er committed in the presenceof a teapot. The
herb Of herbs may make people loquacious- to
the scandal producing po er of old maids--but that
it ever gave, rise to single inhuman thought, he
as much doubts as that nightmares will have
colts. ~ ,S.2''2i 50 '. ~ l''i''s ~,
r "A LONG nose afTor1sn good handle for rdi-
cule. The man that's tupto snuff therefore, will
avoid them. Blythe way, talking of noses, whata
queer one that must have which Solomnn informs
us was like 'thl tower of Babanon looking towards
Damascus To have blown such a nose, must
have required gale 0fwind, and nothing shorter.
ALL double flowes are produced by cultivation
a.fact that shows marriage is as necessary to rose
bushes as to other people. In our opinion,apro-
miscuous life will ruin the character of a Dahlia,
almost as quick as it would woman's. Our
green house friends will make note of this, and
g A HOP vine turning about pole, notonly follows
the course of the sun, but would, soon droop and
die if forced into opposite line Of motion; remove
the obstacle, however, and the plant quickly re-
turus to its former position and heathfulness.A
Substitute girls for hop viEes and lovers oro suns,
and what is true Of the vegetable kingdom, equal
ly true of the feminine gender. 1,s ..,,t-,ls,,t,
EThe great law of nature is. tsto eat and be-
eaten.'' The Alderman that dimes on turtle to-day
will, in less than century, be converted into
manure for the purpose of giving sustenance1 to
cauliflowers and greater breadth to broccoli.
VA late writer supposes that the "indiGerence
TO danger,' which most people exhibit on steam
boats, springs from the common place look that
every thing wears. We should not wonder if he's
right. Who can Ieleye that a thousand horses
are tugging to get out of boiler when he sees this
immense power kept in subsection by a knock
kneed man in paper hat and ill-kept nose.
-1U'Why is woman hunting for the bellows like
a man "shnning" around after money! Because
she is "trying to raise the wind.'' The young man
who perpetrated this last seen when his friends
lost sight Of him. If any person has seen him since,
they will please buy blunderbuss and report. 9'I
sCoNsERvATivEs.-Timi old gentleman who see
"danger 10 the Constitution in the fuctuaton of
the egg market. rsj Ia. .sa.. .ff. ylt Of aa u
i. uTShakspeare asks: ''Whats in name2''
This only shows that Shakespeare never kept a
"famiIy grocery If he had, he would have
known that white beans, under the name Of "Old
Government Java" sells for 16 cents pound, M
.QJ-There is one rule without an exception, ,and
that is the more salary man gets, the less he at.
tends to his business. Go to any of our public Of
fees and the only person you will find always at
his desk, ,will be some poor devil who gets barely
enough to pay his board bill. rieud gjHlGtnsiGcn
UIf there is anything FIenchman thinks less
of than "plain cookingu" it is his own life. Some
six weeks ago Persian eplcure severed his ingulal
because he mixed chicken salad with a hammy
knife. 'N'' ".'' " f.
,, = nj 1, u, >. ..lxttal..I J.. y,
the desponding should remember that time and pa
tence converts the mulberry leaf into satin while
handful of acorns only needs the fostering infu.
ence of little sunshine, and little rain, with .
little oxtugging and little genius, 10 become ri
gate with two rows of teeth.w 9si 81 i'''oi y ''''
IRA genius out IN, Iowa has Just invented
wooden house that i'll jump thirty miles; an hour
The motive power is bag Of jfieas. Who says thi
is not an age Of progress. jy ,rs5,,sI5,,,s : b.
you think of iti''ii gao - 81 I.s ~
tsWby, sir, i don't know-but do thinkithat al
but the lawyers are pack of rogues."5aR III yt
,ssIndeed. And what of the lawyers, Mr. Gileal,
1"Why, as for them, Pm sure they be-"
Not much made out of that witness.
! An USDERRArED MAN.-In your opinion, gen
tlcman about your heighth, age and appearance.
/ TRANSPORTED FOR LIPx.-The man who marie
happily r i,e. 4. Isl ~ - o svgdttsE
+ L. CHUncH-A place where women go to see wha
y ~ new siHi i'oni tHiH', a'is ..idgioaaiae
Chance of Getting Married Fanny Fern very rIett
writer literary papers, she Is ready ~ jun
the first offer OF marriage, and presents her qualities
tions follows-I have black and bal and
very petite sensi i've as the Mimosa spirited
an eagle, nd un,amea BILE as chain lightning Can make
pudding writ newspaper squib, eut on tSna
r. ok or cut fer, and crowd more happiness into e
Hnu tes than any Fanny that WAS ever
! change. ,.y,s,s 5 isptl tsi,;fi,.li s'soJ.it
I U-He is an ugly man that goodness woRt soften Of
xyser95why Is an arthu,it faradoxa-
Because 12 can gointo and s have over ZEgd Eii