Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, South-Carolina) 1852-1852, 1852-02-03
A BACHELORS BREAKFAST.

The following amusing passage occurs in the second
chapter Of the Golden Christmas, by Mr. SIMMS None
but bachelor once could discourse so coqucntly and
knowingly:
1T is not often that our fair readers admitted to
the mysterious domain which entcrtains bachelor as
it's sovereign They fancy, the dear conccitcd little
creatures that such province is very dcsolae one
They dcludc themselves with the vain notion that
without the presence Of one Of their mschievi-
osly precious sex, house, or garden is scarcely ha
bi,abc and that man, in such abode, is pcrpetl-
ally sphing for some such change the tender scX
only can impart They look upon, quite orthodox,
the language Of Mr.. Thomas Campbell, who sings
The garden was Il wiM
And man, the hermit, sighed, till woman smiled.
But this is all vanity and dclusion We no where
have any testimony that the condition Of Adam was
thus disconsOlatc before Eve stolen from his side,
in order that she should steal his side This Is all
mistake. Adam did very we'll rs a gardener and quite
rs well housckecpcr, long before Eve was assign
ed him rs hepmatc, and was very comfortable in his
sovereignty alone We know what evil consequences
happened to his housekeeping after she came into it,
and what sort Of counselors she entertained Let it
not therefore be supposed that we bachelors can not
get on with our affairs exclusively under our own man.
agcmcnt. grant that there is difference; but the
question occurs "Is this difference for the worse in our
clsc?' Hardly There is, contcsScdly, no such put
ting to rights as we always find going in the house.
hold of married men. But that is because there is no
such ncd Of putting TO rights. There is previously no
such putting to wrongs in such Il household There,
every thing goes on like clockwork. There is less
parade | grant you: but there's no such fuss! Less
neatneSS but Earrings with the servants. To the
uuntatcd eye things appear liz exemplary confusion
but the solitary head Of the household extract or
der from this confusion ut any moment 1t is maze,
but not without plan You will chac because there
is want of neaness; but then our bachelor has qu-
Ct Ahl but you say. how lonesome it looks! But
the answer is ready The bachelor is not nevertheless
the inhabitant of solitude. His domain is pcOpled
with pleasant thoughts and sweet visitors and, ifhe be
q student, with sublime ones. lie convcrscs with
great minds uncmbarrsscd by the voices OF little ones
lie convcrscs with master spirits in antique books
These counsel and teach him. without ever dsputng
what he says or thinks. They fill, and instruct his
soul without vcXng his Sclfcstccm They bring mu-
sic to his chamber, without troubling his ears with
noise But YOU say he has OF the pleasures which
spring from his communion with children. You say
that the association with the young keeps the heart
young; and you say rightly But the bachelor answers
and says-if he has no children of his own, he secs
enough of his nciglbors They climb his fences, piter
his peaches pelt his dog, and, as Easter approaches
break into his fowyarls and carry of his fresh eggs
WHY should he seek for children OF his own, when his
ncighbOrs houses are so prolllc?.
lie could give you long discourse, in respect to
single-bessedness-h is in the case Of the man. In
that of the woman, the affair is difficult and
doubtful lie is not prepared to deny that she ought
to get married whenever she find the proper VIC
tim To sum up in brief he goes and comes when lie
pleases, without drcading feminine authority He
takes his breakfast at his own hours, and dimes when
in the humor and takes his at his inn His sleep
is nlisturbcd by unpleasant fances. lie is never re-
qrired to rise at night, matter how cold the wealth
cr to sec that the children covcRd to warm the
baby's possct. Delightful thought Never starts
with horror and chilling shver at every scream, lest
Young Hopeful the boy, or Young Beauty the girl,
has tumbed down stairs bruizing nose or breaking leg
arm and if he stays out late onghts never sneaks
home, with unmanly terrors dreadng to hear no good
of himself whom he gets there. At night purring, in
grateful reverie, by his tireside he makes pictures
in his ignited Goals which exerate his fancy. Inter
estng picture His cat sleeps the hearth rug con-
fdent of her master and never dreading the broom
stick of the always ofcious chamhermaid and the an
ccnt woman who makes up his bed and prepares his
breakfast appears before him like of those seeming
ly old hags Of tho fairy talc who turn out to be prn.
ccsscs and good spirits in homely disguise"