The Nevada journal., 1852-03-11
4 GOOD STORY OF An OLD BACHELOR.


4 AG0oD STORY OF An OLD BACHELOR.
There was fne old General once,
who, having spent most Of his life in the
field Of Mars, knew very little about the
camp Of Cupid. He was one Of those
rough and honest spirits, often met with
in his profession, innocent a. an infant
of almost everything save high integri-
ty and. indemitable bravery. He was
nearly ffty years old, and his tolls were
over, when master Dan Cupid brought
him acquainted with widow Wadman,
in whose eye he began to detect some
thing that made bim uneasy. Here was
the result of leisure.
During his service he he d never seen
anything worthy Of notice in wsman's
eye. In fact, he would scarcely have
observed whether a woman had three
eyes in he- head, or only one for no
matter where his own eyes were. his
thoughts were ever among "guns and
drums, and wounds" and love was
thing that lived in his memory Just as
ne remembered once reading a visiona-
~ story book, called the Arabian Nights
Entertainments,' when boy.
Well, the General had settled down
into an amiable, gentlemanly old fellow,
living alone, with comfortable wealth
around him, and having little to do save
now and then to entertain an old COM
rade in arms, which conpsnionship af-
forded opportunity for him "lo fight his
battles DER again. But alas! DER this
calm evening of the old Generals day,
deal of perplsxity was doomed to fall,
and he soon found himself in troubled
waters, the depth of which he could by
no means understand. He foundered
about like a Gagged raj under a pump
and such another melancholy fish out
of water never before swallowed the
bait, hook and all, of the angling god of
love. Tho poor General. We must give
him name or We can't tell the story,
and the best name for such q story is
Uncle Toby. Poor General Uncle Toby
debated abstraotedly about his new po-
sition, and never had seige or campaign
given him such perplsxity before.
At length, however, the blunt homes
~ Of his disposition rose uppermost
among his conflicting plans, and his
course was chosen. At school he had
once studied "Othsllo's Defence to re-
cite at an exhibition, but made great
failure; and he now recollected there
was something in this defence" very
much like what he wanted 10 say. He
got the book Immediately, found the
passage, clappsd on his hat with de.
termined air, and posted off to the Wild
ow Wadman's, with Shakspear under
his arm.
Madam said General Uncle Toby,
opening his book at the marked place,
with the solemnity of Q special pleader
ct the bar, Madam
Rude am in my speech,
And little bless'd with the set phrase Of peace;
For since these arms of mine had years pith,
Till now some moons wasted, they have used
Their dearest action in the tented field;
And little Of the great world can speak,
More than pertains to feats Of broil and battle;
And therefore,
Here the General closed his book,
wiped his forehead, looked up at the cell
ing, and said, with spasmotic gasp, ~
ardnt TO get marrisdr'
The widow laughed ten minutes by
the watch before she could utter a syi-
liable, and then she said, with precious
tears of humor rolling down her good.
natured cheeks
And who is it you want to marry,
Gsneral!'
You said Uncle Toby, fourishing
his swordarm, as il he expected an as
sault from the widow Immediately.
"Will you kill me If l marry you2'-
said the widow with a merry twinkle in
her eye.
mo, madam, replied Uncle Toby in
most serious and deprecating tone, as if
to assure her that such an idea had new
or entered his head.
Well, then, guess I'll marry you,'
said the widow.
Thank you ma'am,' said Uncle Toby,
but one thing am bouad to tell you Of
madam tcear wigr
The widow started, remained silent a
moment, and then went into longer,
louder and merrier laugh than she had
INDUCED in before. at the end OF which
she drew her seat nearer the General,
gravely laid her hand on his head, gent
ly lifted his wig off and placed it on the
table.
General Uncle Toby had never known
fear in hot battle. but he now felt a
most decisive inclination to run away.
The widow laughed again as though she
would never stop, and the General was
about to lay his hat upon the denuded
head and bolt, when the facetious Ia
dy placed her hand upsn his arm and
detained him. She then deliberately