Wisconsin tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1847-1854, 1852-12-16
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From the Boston Carpet Bag
i HASTY PUDDING STORY.
By PIRkINS. il

BY PERKINS, JE
OF all societies there is none that can
boast of greater numbers and more zeal
Ously active members than the AHti- iiHI-
Your OlCh- Business -S0c.ct4 4 branch
of it IS located in every community, de-
voting with entire energy their time and
talents to the regulation of everybody
elses morals and business, to the neglect
and serious detriment of their own Il
IS Of course the duty Of all good citizens
to throw their influence upon the side of
gOOd order and morality. and to expose
and denOuuce all tagraut violations of the
same bat there are individuals who
make it an important part of their bust
ness tO'act the spy upon all connected
with the affairs or department Of others.
aud if they discover anything that does
not exactly accord with their notions of
propriety. or aught that they can make
appear eXecrabig ia the eyes Of the socie-
ty in which they move, or. in short. some
thing to make a disturbance about to bring
it out, exggerate it, and produce as much
trouble as they can. apparently with no
other object than either to crafty a per
sOual malice, or to amuse themselves bv
seeing the kettle boil to which they have
put the fire Sometimes they get liberal
pay for their services, and when they d1
have to swallow the unsayory dish that
they have prepared for others. it Is a
matter Of great c2ngratulation to all de
cent people.
1t is with one of these characters that
we have to deal in our story. and be as
sured, kind reader, that it Is literally true
Prof P, of q certain college, was
one Of tie above class of men. and though
in many respects a good professor, he was
so bad Judge Of human nature that lie
considered himself model of a man, and
other people especially the stu
dents under his charge He watched
their every m0ti0n,-was the particular
patron Of that class Of young men at col
leges known as "SpleS. and in fact haunt
ed them with his jealous surveillance in
everything they attempted to do. Not
that they were ever guilty Of anything
very discreditablc to themselves or the in
stitution, either, because it was a princI-
pie Of his to place no confidence in de
praved human nature, and, seemingly, lie
delighted To make them as miserable as
possible.
Once on a time" this watchful pro-
fessor had imbibed a suspicion that par
ty of students were in the habit of in
dulging III game of whist. lie had OBJ
served a light in their room at very late
hour Of the night, and seen sundry other
things that seemed to indicate such a fact,
and consequently commenced the work Of
detection and punishment. Sometimes,
late at night lie would move stealtLily
along the hall that led to their room,
place himself before their door. and en-
deayor to make sundry observations thr0
( the kew hole. or catch a word or syllable
4 from he conversation within. Failing in
shat. at other times lie would walk brisk
IL through the hall. and under prctencc
/ of some erraHd, and being iu great baste,
demand instant al mission. La this. too.
/ he was foiIed, for he would iud one deep
I ly absorbed In traaslatIng tough classI-
cal passage, another with an aiTebraic
problem half cIplered out upon his slate.
and all wearing the most artiess countc-
uauces Doing bis egraud, the disappUiLt-
ed Professor would retire and 1t Is not
unlikely that his ears were saluted a. he
.
sounding very much like suppressed laugh
ter 1t matters not to Us whether they
had been playing whist or not but his
failure to detect them only served TO
strengthen his suspicious. Could lie as
certain without any doubt the precise
time when they were at taGIr amusemeuts.
he could without any compunctous have
broken Ia upon them ia the most suuua-
/ ~ manner.-but there was the rub aud
I be almost desFaired Of accomplishing lis
design. At last a circumstance traH.p.r-
! ed tgat placed tlem as he thought, III bis
power.
They were not ignorant Of his suzPlc
. ions and designs. aud were getting leartI-
T Is tired Of his espionage Whether gull
/ " or not. il cguld not always be borne.
aud so q plan was laid 70 bring matters
+ to a crisis. The Professor was standing
/ one day in a room adjoining theirs, IN
such position that every word they W
tered could be distinctly understood and
perhaps he was listening IEe boys were
aware Of his proximity, and commenced
in low tones intended Of course for his
/ ear, to arrange . plan for having sea
son" at whist that very night. Ii was
well .deyel0ped the hour for operations
agreed upon, 61e, aud the delighted Pro
f fessor moved noise!essly away to congrat-
ulate himself upon his good fortune IN
gaining this piece Of information.
During thefr rccitatious that afternoon
+ they more chan once obs rived him looking
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