Polynesian. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu], Hawaii) 1844-1864, 1852-01-03
Waialua, Oahu, Dec. 18th, 1851.


"a candidate for auditor in Mississippi. His mode
of electioneering is to deal with the soveregns
with the most blunt frankness, discarding every
particle of barneying humbug The following
sketch of late speech delivered by him must have
puzzled his opponent to reply to:
Ladies and Gentlemen l rise-but there's no
use of telling you that you know am up as well
as do. am modest man-very-but l have
never lost pcayune by it in my life. Being
scarce commodity among candidates, | thought |
would mention it. for fear if | didn't You never
would hear it.
Candidates generally considered as nuisances,
but they are not they are the poitest men in the
world, shake you by the hand, ask you how's your
family, what's the prospect for crops, &c. and am
the politest man there is in the State. Davy Croc
kett says the politest man he ever saw when he
asked a man to drink turned his back so that he
might drink as much as he pleased. beat that all
hollow; | give man chance to drink twice if he
wishes, for not only turn around, but shut my
eyes. am not only the politest man, but the best
electioneerer. You ought to see me shaking hands
with the variations--the pump-handle and pendu-
lum, the cross-cut and wiggle-waggle. | under
stand the science perfectly, and any of the county
candidates wish instructions they must call on me.
Felow-citizens, | was born-if hadn't been /
wouldn't have been candidate; but am going to
tell you where twas not in Mississippi but twas
on the right side of the negro line yet that's no
compliment as the negroes are mostly born on the
same side. started in the world as poor as a
church mouse, yet | came honestly by my poverty,
for inherited it; and if did start poor, no man
can say but that have held my own remarkably
well.
| Candidates generally tell you, if you think they
are qualified, &c. Now, don't ask your thoughts;
ask your votes. Why, there's nothing to think of,
except to watch and see that Swans name is not
on your ticket. Ifso, think to scratch it off and
| put mine on. am certain that am competent,
for who had ought to know better than l do? No
body. will allow that Swan is the best Auditor
in the State-that is, till am elected then per-
haps it's not proper for to say any thing more.
Yet, as an honest man, am bound to say that be-
lieve it's grievous sin to hide any thing from my
fellow citizens therefore, say that it's my private
opinion, publicly expressed, that I'll make the best
Auditor there ever was in the United States.
IT'S not for honor wish to be Auditor, for in my
own county was offered an Office that was all
honor Coroner-which respectfully declined.-
| The Auditors office is worth some $1,000 year,
and am in for it like thousand of brick. To
show my goodness of heart, I'll make this offer to
my competitor. | am sure of being elected, and
he will lose something by the canvass; therefore
am willing to divide equally with him, and make
these two offers I'll take the salary, and he may
have the honor; or he may have the honor, and I'll
take the salary.
| In the way of honors have received enough to
satisfy me for life. went out to Mexico, eat pork
and beans. slept in the rain and mud, and swallow
ed every thing except live Mexicans. If ordered
to "go," went; ''charge," charged; "break for
the chaparral," YOU had better believe beat a
quarter nag in doing my duty.
My competitor Swan, is bird of golden pluma ge,
who has been swimming for the last four years in
the Auditors pond, $4,000 year. am for rota-
ton. | want to rotate him out, and to rotate N.Y.
| self in. There's plenty of room for him to swim
outside of that pond therefore pop in your votes
for me !; I'll pop him out, and pop myself in.
am for division of labor. Swan says he has
to work all the time, with his nose down to the
public grindstone. Four years must have ground
it to point. Poor fellow, the public ought not to
insist on having the handle of his mug ground
clean off. | have large, full-grown, and we'll
blown nose, red as beet and tough as sole leath-
err | rush to the post of duty. offer it up as a
sacrifice clap it on the grindstoEe. Fellow citi-
zens grind away-grind till holler enuf, and that
will be some time first, for I'd hang like grim death
| to dead African. Times most out. Well, like
| to forget to tell you my name. Its Daniel-for
short, Dan. Not handsome name, formy parents
were poor people, who lived where the quality ap-
propriated all the nice names !: therefore they had
to take what was left and divide around among us
but it's as handsome as aIn-R. Russell Re-
member, every one of you, that it's not Swan.
am sure to be elected; so, one and all, great
and small, short and tall, when you come down to
Jackson, after the election, stop at the Auditors
Office the latch string always hangs out; enter
without knocking take off your things and make
yourself at home.
Dan crawfshed out of the stand, bobbing his
head like tip-up, amid the cheers for "Dan.
"a DIN RUSSELL" and young SDayy Crcckett"l
S-r. ,v~crvv~ Pxc, .x, .vn Arsrp.y,,-We