Semi-weekly North-Carolina standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1852-1853, 1852-03-13
YANKEE DINING AT A MODERN HOTEL.

nowhere to be met with except on the stage tall,
becrowned white hat short-waisted blue coat, with
enormous pewter buttons, a vest as . yaller " rs q
barberry blossom, and pair of corduroys whose
highest ambition seemed to be to MAINTAIN their
ascendency over pair of enormous cowhides that
had trodden many hundred miles of loggering-
paths, might have been seen," jacknife and shin
| ole in hand, vending his way up Long Wharf, IN
the realization of his lifelong antcipations of
" seen' Boston" At the corner of Merchants Row,
his progress was arrested by the numbering transit
of two story house on wheels, drawn by half
dozen yoke of oxen, with the people inside pursu-
ing their usual avocations.
| "What on airth is that 'ere?" he asked of by
stander.
90, nothing" replied the 'towney' the folks
are only moving, that's all. When we move down
here-we do it, house and all"
"Jerusalem! WALL that beats all natur. Wall,
capn what's that ERE big stun house over the Lefty!
"That's the new Custom-House. Its mighty
bad location, but they're going to move 1t next
week."
"Thunder and molasses! It'll take all the oxen
in creation for to start her"
| 40, they use elephants for moving such large
buildings"
"And how many elephants will it take?'
"Upwards of hundred
The Yankee cut deep cash in his single and
walked on.
He next inquired for the Adams House, for he
had heern tell" of that, and was determined to
progress during his uvenility, of the impos-
sibility Of doing so at more advanced age -.
He soon found the tavern" and the deacon"
and ordered accommodations, literally "darnlng
the expense" Having slicked up little, he saw
with some amazement the operations of servant
on the gong, simply remarking that he "know'd
what sheet lightning was but this was the fust
time he'd ever heern of sheet thunder" He fol-
lowed the crowd into the dining hall and was ush-
cred to seat, where he ensconced himself, tucking
his towel under his chin with sort of DESPERATION
as if he was going to be shaved or scalped:
| The sight of the covered dishes added to his
amazement. "Dod darn it ~ he exclaimed, eff
ever heard of cookn' on the table but here they've
gone and sot tin kitchens all over the lot. Whars
the fire to come from-that's what I'd like to
know ?"
| He got along with the soup very we'll, and was
pausing for breath, before he finished it, chen
waiter snatched his plate away and was running
off with it.
| Hello, YOU, sir 2" vociferated the Yankee, " I
see YOU Fetch that ere back quicker'n lightnin',
or else you'll hev your head punched"
! His plate was returned and he finished his soup
with dignity. After waiting moment ne raised
his voice again. and summoned the offending waiter
sternly.
"Kalkelate to starve me 2"
| "No, sir"
I Wall-why don't We fetch on some fresh fod-
der darn ye?"
"There's the carte, sir
! " Where's the cart? And what in thunder am
I to do with the cart when I've got it Look out,
You pesky sarpint, or you'll catch it
| "The bill of fare"
al don't pay my bill till I've had my fodder"
! The waiter humbly explained his meaning.
"What's all these cfack-jaw names mean? Give
me somethin' plain and hearty-biled corn beef
f,tob II oh +ba Will
the paper and see what else Pll hev"
| The meat was brought him.
| "Hold on =" was the next order. whats this
here! M-a-c-c-a-read it, won't you, sir 2
"Maccaroni, sir"
"An right, cap'n. Hurry it up"
The dish was brought.
"You etarnal cuss p roared the Down Easter
" eff haint as great a mind as ever l he'd to kerr
wallop yer, and make example of We on the spot
What do We mean by runnin' your rigs on me jest
because I'm a stranger in these parts Take away
yer billed pipe-stems, and fetch us on some cabbage
That's right. And, now, squire, some vinegar"
"Vinegar's in the castor, sir" replied the waiter
and made good his retreat.
"In the castor, is it-hey?' soGloquzed the
Yankee; and where in thunder is the castor?"
The gentleman opposite pushed it towards him.
He looked at it, took the stopper out of the vine
gar and taking up the castor by the bottom, turn
ed it up. But all the cruets manifested desire to
illustrate the law of gravity and eaped from their
locations, and the Yankee WAS compelled to set it
down again.
Jerusalem % he exclaimed. This here IS a
curious continuance, and no mistake. How on arth
am to get at the tarnal vinegar? I'll try it once
more" Again he canted the castor, but this time
all the stopples tumbled out
"Thunderation !" he roared, here's a pretty
mess. Darn it all, here I've got the darned castor
all into my gravy, and the darned red lead on my
cabbage, and the yaller on my 'tater. Darn the
thing, l say"
my FRIEND" said the gentleman opposite, with
a strong control over his risble muscles, it ap-
pears to me if l were in want of vinegar, that
should take the vinegar out of the stand, and
by that means would avoid all trouble"
Here the whole company, walters and all, burst
into convulsive fit of laughter. The Yankee rose
in rage, upsetting his chair and glazing defiance
on his neighbors.
allow, in the name of all the tarnal cusses in
CREATION" he yelled, "should [ know anything
about the way the darned thing worked, when l
never seed one of em afore? You've Matched this
up agn mel know it. Whar's the landlord
Fetch your bill on-Fll get out of this. haint
eat ten cents worth, but I'll pay up like a book,
and cuss and quit. And if ever set out to eat a
meals vittles in Boston town again, you may take
my hide and tan it. Darn your castors, and your
caster-ile, and you, too, one and all!
And fiinging down dollar on the table, he