Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1852-10-27


let there be no drones in the hive. no
oilers in the great vineyard of the world.
A DOSE; Or, What Did She Take.
Dx HOOD.
Ellen you have been out"
"Well. know 1 have"
To the Kings Head ?"
"No. John. no-but no matter, you'll
be troubled no more with my drinking"
What do you mean o.
g mean what say. John" said the
wife, looking very serious and speaking
very solemnly and deliberately. and with
strong emphasis on each word.
"1ou-will- -troubled-no-more
-with-my-drinking. l have took it
at last"
81 knew it p exclaimed the wretched
husband. desperately tossing his hands
aloft. as when all is lost. :" I knew it !"
and leaving one coat flap in the hands of
his wife. who vainly attempted to detain
him. he rushed from the room, sprang
down the stairs, ran along the passage.
and without his hat or stick. dashed out
of the street door, sweeping from the step
two ragged little girls. a quarter loaf. a
basin of trcacle and baby. But he ne
yer stopped to see if the children were
hurt. or even if the infant dripped with
gore or molssses. Away he ran. like
rsbid dog. straight forward down the
street. Needless alike of porter's load. bas-
ket and butchers tray.
do that again" growled = placard
man as he recovered the pole and board
which had been knocked from his shout
der.
Mind where you're going" bawled n
hawker as he picked up his scattered
wares. while dandy, suddenly thrust in
to kennel. launched after the runner, one
of those verbal missives. which are said
to return, like the boomerang, to those
who launch them.
But on. on scraped the teetotaller. heed
less of all experimentation he secured.
like e-Camilla. to the shop numbered
$40. with the red. blue and green bottles
in the window-the chemist and druuyis:
into which he started. up to the lutte
bald man at the desk, with bare breath to
gasp out
MY wife poison !-ppmp!"
Vegetable or mineralr' inquired the
surgeon apothecarv, with the utmost pro-
f.ssional cooness.'
o1alic acid-corosive subliment-and
the tce'o: aIler was about to add pine APP
i pie rum among the poisons. when the doc
tor stopped him.
MOI
But remembering the symptoms over
night. the teetotaler vcntured To say. ON
the strength of his dream. that she had
turned all sorts of colors. like q rainbow,
and swelling almost rs big as house.
There is not a moment TO lose" said
Esculapius, and accordingly clapped on
his hat. and arming himself with the ne
cessary apparatuS--a sort of elcphan'ic
syringe with very long runk-he set OFF
on trot. guided by the tetotaler. to un-
poison the rash and Inflated bacchanalian,
Mrs. Burrage.
Now, when the tetotaler with The me-
dical man at his heels, arrived at his own
house, Mrs. Burrage was still in her bed.
room, which was great convenience. for
before she could account for the intrusion
ot stranger-nay, even without KNOWN.
how IL was done. she found herself sea ed
IN the easy chair; and when she attempt
ed 10 expostulare, she found herself cho-
king with the tube of something. which
WAS certainly neither maccaroni nor stick
hquorlce, nor yet peppermint.
10 account for this pre- ipitancy. the
exaggerated representations of her hus
band must be borne in mind and if his
wife did not exhibit all the dolphin like
colors that he had described-if she was
not quite so blue, green, yellow or black
MS he had painted her. the apohecary
made sure she soon would be, and con>e-
quently went to work without delay, when
delays WIS SO dangerous.
Mrs. Burrage, however, was not n wo.
man to submit quietly 10 Il disagreeablr
operation against her own consent; SO
with vigorous kick and push at the same
time. she contrired to rid herself at once
OF the doctor and his instrument, and in
dignantly demanded to know the meaning
OF the assault upon her.
:" 1t is to save your life-your precious
hte-Ellen,' said the teeto, sler very seri-
ously.
:. 1t is to empty the stomach, ma'am, :"
said the doctor
Empty = fiddle" Ietorted Mrs. B.,
who would have added stick" but the
doctor, watching his opportunity, had
deterously popped the tube again into her
mouth-not without a fresh scuffle from
the patient.
:. For the Lords sake, Ellen" contin-
tinued the husband. continuing her hand,
do. do. pray do sit quiet"
P,n-wob wobble." said Ellen
" Observation-Disclosures" attempting
in vain TO speak with another pipe in hrr
mouth besides her mindpipe.
Have the goodness. ma'am, to be
composed" implored the doctor
" / won't" shouted Mrs. Burrape, ha-
wing again released herself from the in
strument by desperate struggle. What