Monongalia mirror. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1855, 1852-11-13
-.jr..Ir jpr..ArRoxsl Il PAY. AI.L RosTAfiE.-
,ll,if. M; ,,;YOklTgRo.
q. .wa. MATTHEWS.
l'iYIo1iIlIIiHlissIl..-..NlIMBEg .70.

| . u Id o III I'd
pY.ws.. MAT1nEws.i Fl 4
II Is curious how many thousand
things there are which wat'''s DO 70 90
upon this cozys planet of'ours, whereon
We alisltep, and get our d'nners sfos
instance-- i5.ta i4,i' ie s't. q r;
ltwon't doto plunge into "a lawsuit,
relying wholly upon the Justice Of your
cause, ,andn no,,quiPpsd beforehand lsl WIN WIN
a brimming purse. e ,''i Il ,,,5,.s..,,i,
II won'tdo tweak mans nose, o.
tell him he lies, unlies you are perfect
lily satisfied he has not sp0nk enough
Ito resent 1t BY blowing your brains, or Or
l(ii you have no brains) cracking your
skull. 5'l,sys ~ ;t., ,5 i
Ii won't DO, when riding in a stage
coach, to talk Of another man whom you
have not personally seen, as being an
.all-fred scoundrel, until you are abso-i
lutely sure he is not sitting before you
II won't do when snow-driits are pi- .
led up mountain high, and sleighs are
etyrnally upsetting, to,ride out with a.
beautiful, lively :iacinating girl, and not
expect 10 get smashed with her. 81
It won't dofor a man, when a horse
kicks him, 10 kick back atthea horse IN
return. Si, rs ,i.@stfS4 - q fs'si''t y
It won't do to crack jokes on old
maids, in the presence ofunmarried la
dies who have passed the age ottorty.
1t won't do to imagine a Legislature,
led al the public crib, will sit but six
weeks, whent two-thirds Of the members
have not the capacity toiearn a decent,
living at home. l' 8iat .'''a' o'..'' ...y'.
It won't do ior a man 10 bump his
head againsta stone post, because ne
conscientiously believes that his head is
lihe hardest. ~ 3
II wont do when;a musquito bites
\ your face in the night to bea, your own
craniumiin pieces with your fist, under
an impression that you are killing the
musquito. tt,.} -sis
q It.won'! do for a chap 10 imagine a
Egirl is Indifferent TO- him because she
|tstudiously avoids him in. company, 3, goa
II won't do for a,young lady to pre-
sumo that more than one third. OF the
gentlemen who show her pointed atten-a
tions, have the NEST dis,ant'idea or
lrying her. stg a.5 Y 65iisli y
1twon,t do fora a man TO fancy La
ldy ISL lovewithhitn because shetreats
him civiHy, or that she has virtually en-
gagged herself TO him, because she has als
ways endured his company.
Itjwon,t do when in q hurry, to eat
/ soupwilha two-pronged fork, OF 70 try
| 10 catch leas wilha fish net. J.s ~,
II wont do to be desperately enamor-,
ed Of pretty face till you have seen
Il al the breakfast table.
II won't do 10 be so devoted to ten-
der-hparted wife as 10 comply implicit,
ly with her request when she asks you,i
aNow, tumble over the cradle, and
break your neck, my dear, won't you1"
It won't do TO take hold otaihair- {;
trigger pistol during a it of the blues. og
| It wont do. for politician TO imagine
Ihimslt elected 10 the. Gubernatorial chair,
while the back counties remain to be
heard from" sall..i ,,,..7..t,
It won't do to pop the question more
than dozen times after lady has said
SHOP 9oi +" '''4 ''f' Hls> 'i''i''f'
Ii won't do extol the beauty Of la
dy's hair before you know whetheri:
did not once belong,to another lady's
head. .r.ssis g-sl 4 s4sss Sal !
II won't do 10 talk Of cabbage when
.ailors are standing by, nor Of wooden
nntmegs and white oak hams, when.
there are Connecticut Yankees about.
It wont do togo barefoot in winterto
get rid ottrouble from corns. f' h97a5'p
Il wont de to take everylIman todc
that you would liketo do, even il SO to q
do would be todo aiayor. II won't do!
Yankee Blade. -