Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1852-06-10
MISCELLANY M Y
His Character is that of a
Woman" -'-t

|
Woman"
Fanny Fern, of the Olive Branch. thu.
shakes Mr.. Stair by the ears. for remarkins
slightly of women. She says:
"Losk here, MIR. Norris, want somebod,
10 hold me! I've just been reading an ex
tract from Blackwood, by German Profes
sor, by the name Of Slahr, in which, after
commenting most severely upon the charac,
ter of Louis Napoleon, he congresses the
| pith of the matter into this nutshell - Blu
no reliance can be placed en.him. In WORD
his character is that of a woman What dc
you mean by that, you old German curinud.
geon? Aint women the quietest, patientest
lovingest animals in existence, when they
get what they wants Did you ever see 9
woman snarly when her purse was proper
ly supplied and she had gowns enough in
her wardrobe? Their iempers are angelic il
they are only managed right. If you will
brush cats back the wrong way you musl
expect to get scratched. Women always
know what they want, aud that's more than
half the men do, and they want it when they
ask for it, too, without any hens, or has, oil
Its or butts. Aint they full of fun and smiles
and capers before they are married.? and
what do they look like afterwards, with
their long faces, swollen eyes, and calico
morning gowns? crawling round like dys.
pepiic carerpillars. When they've been wor.
shipped like divinity for six mouths, OF
more, you expect them to hop right off Ibei,
pedestal after matrimony, and crouch down
at your feet like a whipped spaniel, who dare
not even growl to himself when his ears are
cuffed. Character that of woman p
humph As to Louis Napoleon he isn't a
man to my taste, nor you either! Did you
ever see a man who had hall the fortitude ol
woman: Ask the doctors about that, il
you catch one that tells the truth
If a man gets scratch on his little finger
the whole house is put in requistion for
sticking plaster, opodeIdoc, Russia salve, and
mercy knows what. Then there aint sav
ager man in existence than man when he
hungry. Go ask favor of him some time
before dinner, but don't wait for an answer
and if the razor don't work right when he is
shaving in the mornicg, catch up the chill.
dren, and clear the coast. And as 10 pin
money, although all a man can earn would
not pay wife's wages, YET if you havn't any
l.;
an accommodating brother-in-law, heaven
help you-
Did you ever know man whose wife was
sent to State Prison who ever made her n
call at that interesting institution? And
did you ever know n woman, even if she had
a dozen sticks spoiled over her who didn't
brbe jaiors and stone walls ill she got at
him, some how or other. TO tell him how she
loved him all The better, the wckedsr be
grew, aud the more people hated him, and
how. il he had abused her, she dare say il
was more her fault than hisn. And wIIa,
did Kossuth's wife do for him, you stupid
old fool! and what did the American women
Of the Revolution do for their husbands p
what will their female descendants do for you:
you beer-drinking, phegmatic, tobacco.
dried old German. if you dare show your
phizmahogany on this side of the big pond.
May you never know by experience what
this means
''There'l be coat on the chair,
There'll be slippers for somebody, ..
There'll be wife's tender care
Loves fond endearment for somebody,
Therell be the little ones charms,
Soon twill be awakened for somebody,
When have both in my arms,
Oh, how blest will be somebody"