Sunday dispatch. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1845-1854, 1852-03-28
LIGHT READING.


had been servant in his employment, and theT
is strong suspicion that he committed the awfr
deed
nalAEana..Hs'sa -
LIGHT READING.
T. he following rather laughable epitaph
are TO be fou6d in graveyaIds IN England. From
Dorcssstgr, Oxfordshirs
" Here lies the body of -, an honest man,
Aad ~heD he diad he owed nobody nothing. I"
From Bideford, Dsvonshire
" TIE gedding-cay appoia ed was
And wedding clothes provided;
And whom the day arrived did,
Shs sckened and she die did -
From U v rstoue;
- Heie lies nay wife, here lies she;
Hallelujah, HallelOjee"
troA Doncasief;
"Horo lie two brotbers, by misfortune surround
ID.
oae dy'd Of his wounds. and the other wa
deowodsd"
Another;
Sacred to the memory
OF Miss Martha GWynne,
WAC was very pure within,
She hurs. tho outward shell of sin.
And Matched herself cherubim "
A stranger once called on the eccentric
Professor hermann, wn,n the 70 lowiog ques-
tioDs aud a0sgers passed between them. "What
is your name o. s'War" "How old are veu9''
"Thrty ears "Thon have the unexpected
pleasure of seeing the thirty years war"
A green-horn from the country went to
meuage 10 TO ,xaniue the beasts, the b rds,
and creeping things there cougregated, amou 2
woiob aa ourang-outang particularly struck his
attention. Ssseral gentlemen were convsrsing
about the animal, one of whom expressed the
opinion that il was q lower order Of the hu-
man species Jonathan did not like this idea,
and sriding up TO the gent eman, expressed his
opinion f0rIt thus. 9 Pooh pooh he's no more
human sp' ce5 han I be p
Somebody speaks of the people of Maine
as beng Ia toe situation of the ''Anoent Mari
neT'' Of COleridge:
50 Water, water, everywhere.
Ind not drop to drink :"
Wood is the thing after all, as the man
with the pi B G said when the mad dog bit It,.
Sir Walter Scott once gave an Irishman
n sAliling where siXpeuco would have been sui
fc ent Remember" said the Baropet, "you
owo me sixpsnce - - May your honor live till
lpay you,' was the reply.
Fidgeting Bliss" is the latest definition
for love. Not bad definition.
A newspaper passed through the Port
land Post Office, recently, directed to Mr.
Marston, Hebron, Me-, with the following laco-
mic announcement written upon the back" No
liquor in this PACKAGE
When man is "boiling Overt with anv
grand idea, is it a necessary conclusion that he
is full of bile?
Two printers in the Plymouth Rock Of
fee. tired of taking impressions on the forms of
that paper, tried it the hearts of two fair
damsels. After sever ! Sett1ngS-uD, they suceee-
ded in taking such fair proofs of the matter, that
few days since the minister of the place was
called IN and 'oorked of the whole four forms in
two folio editions. leaving them locked lt1 for life
Now let "them circulate the documents"
There was some sense in the remark of
a Scotchman, who, on reaoing the saying of Sol
omon, " Snow is beautiful in its season' ex-
claimed, g Ay, nae doot it was beautiful to thee
sitting with the vines and lasses O. Jerusalem
aside you but had ye been puir stane mason
ye wad hae said nae sich thing
The following, by Hood, is descriptive
of the Englishman travelling in France, without
understanding the language:
Cbaises stand for chairs
They chrlsten letters Billies;
They call their mothers mares,
And all their daughters hllies
We have been looking these ten years
(ssys the An91can MechGnic) for some lofty
subject on which to expend our genius So here
it goes:
The man that nova days will write,
And not pre- pay his letter.
Is wOrser than the heathens are,
What don't know any better
And if you take ine-tooth comb,
And rake down ''all creation,''
You couldn't find meaner man
In this 'ere mighty nation.
A hen fancier lately procured picture
of a favorite fowl, which was so natural that il
laid on bis taole for several weeks.
"Query" wants to know what Mrs.
Jenny Goldschmidt has bought farm for. The
answer is plain enough. Having got "hus-
and so bought farm, of course. Jenny is an
economist.
S-say Do you believe in the Knot
chester Rocders? DO you love figs peet ? Do
you love tamb's lungs? Do you live near the
shottecary's pop! Did you ever ride in a wag-
age baggOn %
The first bird of Spring attempted to
sing, but ere he had rounded a note, he fell from
the limb-ah, dead bird was him-the music
had friz in his throat.
" require" said sage of the tribe of
Penobscot. ''but three things to make me hap
py." ''What is the first % inquired searcher
OF wisdom Tobacco, was to reply. "What
is the secondF' "Rum." g Well, what is the
third % " why," said the philosopher, contem-
platively, ga little more run
An honest farmer was invited to attend
q party at the Squii e's evening, where there
was music, both vocal and instrumental %
the following morning he met ne of the guests,
who said, "Well, farmer, how did you enjoy
yourself last night were not the quartettes
excellent % 'Why, really, sir, l can't say"
said he, ''for didn't taste 'em but the pork
chops was The finest l ever ate
An Irish paper says, that among those
NOR ally ounded at Waterloo, was Maj II
O'Brien, afterwards Mayor of Dublin.
Not long since. two sailors passing by
tailor's shop observei tailor az work on his
wlstcoat patched with different colours of cloth,
when ono Of the tars cried out to the other,
Look ye, ack, did you ever see so many sorts
of cabbage grow on one stump before %
Lawyers are like scissors they never
cut oacn other, but what is between them
Necessity knows no law" Well ne
cessity is like great many lawyers
Among the advertisements in the Lon
don Tones, is one for nurse in "a small gentle
mans family"
MARKET-HOUsE sCENE.-BOg.-Mi Mister,
bow do you sell beef this morniog9 Mam.-
Why. seven csnts pound-how much will you
have Bog Seven cents, en- Have you got
a heart Man No just soldit Boz We'll
just kn0w'd you couldn'e have a bears, and ak
seven cents for beef I'm sorry you sold it
cause I'd like to have some meat A moment
af or the boy was seen running cut of the market
house. and shin-bone sailing after him.