Sunday dispatch. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1845-1854, 1852-04-18

three or four inches Agin the meetin' was pre-
pared to cut big stiH-sister Sal, for the pur-
pose, stretched and ironed my new fine shirt as
stiff and slick as a sheet Of tin. This shiTt had
the finest kind Of flax linen in the bosom and
collar, but the invisible part OF It was coarse
tow, with hem that would cable steamboat
"Now, while Sal was smoothing the wrin-
kles near the said hem with an iron Just hot
from the ire, down stairs tumbles one o the
tarnal brats, knockin the breath out'n IT, 1t
was Saturday night, and she was he only one
up, and run to It ia course, but afore 1t came
TO, the iron had made its mark-that is, burnt
two holes in the extremity of my linen. Next
mornin' put it on as it was, then dads true
blues, then the fust reg lar built pare Of shoes
I'd ever had.
81 was seventeen Just, that Sunday mornia',
and in my Sunday rigin felt myself man, and
was resolved if Betsy Crumption was at meet
in to show it. Well, she was thar, aud I axt
for her company, and got it. Walkin' by her
side, | felt as ight as nothin-skercely touched
the ground walked oD But | shant tell the
fine things thought aud said to her on the
way, and more after we got home Oh, yes,
do, said several voices. No, you'll have en-
ough without that, you're to skim the cream off
the story yet.
"She kept me up late, say two o'clock, aud
spite Of the novelty-it being the first time-l
got sleepy sNow the Squire had Just come to
these parts, and put up a one-story, one-roomed
log cabin, and the whole family, 'cept some Of
the young ones slept below. | was a leetle
bashful bout gwine 10 bed thar, but was three
miles from home, aud it was rainin' like blue
| blazes | had to do it without exposin' the
blank in my linen. ! resolved to be up afore
anybody else IN the mornin' on tho same ac-
count and some others.
"This was the last | know'd till wakened by
the hounds (halfa.dozen of which slept under
the bed) pullin' the kivers off'n me. Holy
| heavens the sun two hours high, breakfast on
the table, and me in bed Just as was gwinc
| to spring cut, in pops the old oman, with a
plate O. sassage. twas dog days now, and she
1 cooked in the shanty l possumed sleep till
she went out again, and then looked for my
trowsers-tharthey wur in the jaws of the pups
at the foot of the bed lmade mighty plunge
| over the foot-board to retake tbem but oh, hor-
rors my head down and my heels up! What's
the matter thinks r-but II flashed across me
in moment that the hole in my linen was over
| the post-and tall post tn | klck'd, and
houndered and founced, but all TO no purpose
Il couldn't get down. strained TO break the
hem, but it was 10 go. Jist now all the hounds
commenced yellin' so furiously the old oman
and both gals run in to see what was up, and
when they seed it was me they run of-ons
begin to hollor for the Squire, while totherc
through the cracks, with fshin' poles, battled
| the cursed hounds that were wulln me.
"Oh, | thought of Absoem and everybody
that ever did hang, but be didn't hang by the
| wrong end, no, that was a consolation hac
not I'd Gust my fate like Boston, but re
member'd belonged to meetin' and it was agiI
the rules | did howsomever think some nigh
ty hard words if l didn's speak 'em. But al
that didn't do any good. Icoudn't make moth
IN by pulLin' downwards, so thought I'd climl
up the post and unloose myself that way.
had nearly succeeded when one of the unman
nerF pups attacked me in the rear, and loosin
my holt, the bottom busted off, and l came ou
full length on the floor, in precisely the SAM
state of fix Job said he came to the world. Tn
next minnit | was under the bed, where tn
everlasting pups had dragged my trowsers.
cuff them off, but every time | put one lei
partly on, the internal whelps would pull tolh
sr off.
=" | worried in this way some time, when
puncheon gave way, and | fell through into
trough Of soap under the house Gosh
thought it was in the pit that's bottomless
sprung for my life, but in doing this threV
myself into the face and stomach OF Sqalr
Crumpton who was cumin' on the run, spec
ing the lnJuns was q massacreeIng the Who'll
family. The collision threw him down the hi
; and followed heels over head to the bottom
There | recovered my understanding, and witt
out any apologies, or even word, l struck
| bee-line tor home, Just as was, in my nativ
purity, at a speed that split the winds, my to'
: nails strikin' FIRE out n the flats every Jump
But, bhoys," said the old man, as he wipe
r the perspiration from his brow, " never wer
within a quarter of mile of Squire CrumI
toms arterwardS-nor did | even cast sheep
eyes at Betsy again. let alone gallanting he
| home