The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1852-07-03

his caravan down to Springfield Fourth
of July, and thought there'd be a
good chance to see the elephant and
celebrate the day both at onc't. What
/ wanted 10 see more than all the rest
was the car of Jugglenot drawn by a
string of elephants"
"Did it meet your expectations o.
never seen sight of it. Before
got in town they'd all got through
paradin, the elephants were unharness-
ed, and the car of Jugglenot was into 4
woodshed, I made up my mind right
of, then, that the hull concern was a
humbug."
"Was Barnum aware that you were
TO be in town 2" | asked.
"Not as know"
IF he had known it," said the major,
"he would doubtless have waited. But
you visited the exhibition, suppose
"Of course-T was bound to do that
if it bust me. That was a bigger
humbug than all the rest.n
"How soW
"Why, in the first place, l expected
to see Jenny Lind"
/ Was she announced in the bills ?"
~ don't know-T never read them
but | axed the man that stuck up the
pictures if she'd be there, and he said
yes, and that she'd sing the bird song
standing on the top cage of cocatoos
and parrots. She wasn't there, and
never seen sight of her-and then |
know'd the whole consarn was darned
humbug.
"Well, then, | went round and took
look at the elephants; had hard work
to get round tu-there was MORN a
hundred thousand people in the tent
| got where they was, and the folks
was all feedin 'em with apples and
cakes and things. had some dough-
nuts in my hat, so / held it out to one
of the darned things, to see if he'd take
one.n
"Did he take one?n
"He took 'em all, and the hat tu. He
stuck 'em all in his nasty peaked mouth
and begun eatin. | hollered to the
keeper, and told him it was bran new
hat. He said never mind, he'd get it
again"
did he get 2"
"Yes, he got it, but hat amt much
account after an elephants chawed it.
Then, I'd sworn the hull consarn was
humbug. Well. | took look at Tom
Thumb, and the Ceylong chief, and the
man that tiddled with his toes, and the
feller that went in with the lions. The
didn't see as they looked any different
from anybody else's. | expected Bar
NUNS lions would be twice as big as
any others. There was one thing,
though, that was fust rate: that was
the wax statuary-especially the in
temperance family. | told the man
that took care of it, | wished every
body that ever drinked drop of spirits
had to stand and look at that about a
week-they'd never want 10 drink
again. He said he wished so tn.
Take it all in all, though, | was
mad. didn't see what l expected, and
| didn't like the idea of being humbug-
ged. so inquired of one of the men
that was stirring up the monkeys where
Barnum was, and he pointed him out TO
me, selling lemonade out of a wagon.
| went up to him, and thinks I, Pll gin
him piece of my mind. SeZ +
Mr.. Barnum'
"'Sixpence a glass; seZ he
~ looked at his lemonade-there
was one lone, solitary, second-handed
slice of lemon in a whole wash-tub full
of it, and he peddlin' it out at sixpence
a glass. That made me madder than
all the rest; so says |, loud and audit
ably
"tMr. Barnum, think your shows
a darned humbug.'
"'Young man. sez he, Il s'pose you
paid to come in?
60 S'posin' did, sez |.
"Well,' sez he, ss'posin' you have
you have paid your quarter, and you've
a perfect right to think what you d-n
please.'
"Why," said the major, after the
sensation caused by this recital had
somewhat subsidized, "why did you NOT
demand your money back You cer-
tainly could have compelled them to
refund your quarter"
"You see the truth is, said Jonathan,
his head, ~ didn't pay no
quarter-I crdwled in under the can
UasS %
There is an excellent moral in this
for human nature to study.