The organ of the temperance reform. (Cincinnati, O. [Ohio]) 1852-1853, 1852-05-14

l705 Hdti lc-A5c Pafsg iE0eajsd tits ~.
ment Of 1'Oil, and the s0ay Harry Ind q
1 'P9Ry' on Toll for Funeral Procession
"Deay Spirit Your valuable sheet ha
been the entertainment of many gay compa
ny in our Queen City Tor, as. Kossuth has i
Metropolis for years; yet it is rare to read auy
Of the doings amongst the hog loving denizen,
Of Porkopois, As | have become dwelel
here amongst the many, ask small corner
to drop chip from the block Of incidents; fol
we have spirits here worthy Of being known tc
| fame and you. So, without more ado, I'll
at once to a tale, that has not often been told
on my friend, but which merits place in his
tory, and trust you may hand it down, for the
benefit Of some ones posterity.
Harry SIS one of the choice ones of
the town, and although young ia spirits, he's
old in more ways than one--rich in broad
acres, yet poor in the golden coin of the realm!
Harry has a large circle of friends, and be-
ing near related to that we'll. known gentleman,
"the oldest inhabitant," has been, is, aud ever
shall be, the first called upon to attend a we'd
ding or a funeral, aud although bis disposition
and qualifications are more harmonious to the
former, yet his pride Of office, aud partiality
for black gloves, render him useful at the lat
ter. A friend cant get married, therefore,
without Harry srranges the programme, nor
poor soul be quietly inferred unless Harry is in
attendance.
In fun and amusement he is the ''right bow
err and should it be necessary to take all the
tricks, in order 10 make the game full, Harry
must have the lead. With these few charac-
teristies in our friend, which are necessary to
the story, we'll leave him, but if you ever
| travel this way, and want to know a prince Of
good fellows, call on the aforesaid, his heart,
soul, and pocket, areas open as a church door.
About fifteen years ago, soon after the hard
times Of 81, when business was in the deep
bosom Of bankruptcy buried, and indOlent
pleasure had taken the place Of pork barrels and
sugar hogsheads Harry proposed an excursion
to the shady groves, TO make love and dauce
dull care away, amidst the birds and flowers.
No sooner mooted than arranged, and about
three clock of pleasant, but hot summer af-
ternoOn, a long caravan Of some twenty carri-
ages and buggies, were seen vending their way
along the turnpike road in quest Of an umbra-
geous retreat, each vehicle loaded with its rich
freight of beauty, and not much less agreeable
portion Of provender for the days repast.
Harry led the troupe in large carriage, with
his little ''pullet" at his side, and large bas-
ket of cooked chickens salads, &C., in front,
forgetting the hardness Of the times, and the
scarcity Of money, in the enjoyment Of the mo-
ment. But, alasl for the duration Of happiness,
Harry espied toll gate-an impediment in
the days financial arrangements never before
considered, and, as the funds raised for the &C.
GasiOn had been spent in the purchase of the
feast Harry was at a stand still how to pro-
ceed ONWGTd. To stop the carriage and beg
money Of the others would be a confession Of
poverty, and to be stopped at the gate would be
a conviction Of the fact. After moments re-
Election, Harry thought his face must be known
at all toll gates, as the sure Indication Of a fu-
neral, and, furthermore, that he laws of the
State reqired all funeral professions to be pass
ed free Of charge. He called the driver to allow
his horses to walk for the next mile, as the day
was hot, and arrangements for the funeral were
rapidly made the basket was placed across
the seats, and covered with one Of the black
leathern curtains, indicating, to all unsuspeot-
ing eyes, the last remains Of poor babe. A pair
of black gloves (relics of the last funeral being
drawn on bis hands, and his face deep buried in
the same, the procession reached the gate; a
glance from Harry informed the keeper of the
melancholy task he was performing, aud with
piOus remark to his wife, the keeper passed into
his house, and the picnic party passed the
gate.
After the days pleasures were over, the story
was told amongst the boys, and, during the
next week, the frequent mention to Davis, the
gate keeper, of "Harry and his funeral, - in
formed the old boy that he was sold, and, with
proper solemnity, he sWOre vengeance.
In few weeks one Of Harry's particular
friends lost young and interesting child, and
true to custom, he was called upon to officiate
at its funeral. A procession Of twenty five car
riages moved out with the "last Of earth"--in
the front one was seated Harry and his fellow
pail bearer, with the little corpse between
them.
The toll gate was reached and about being
passed, when old Davis espied the solemn face
Of the face Of the aforesaid Harry. With one
bound he cleared the requisite number Of feet,
and catching the bride Of the horses, brought
the quick aud the dead to halt.
Had old Charon come upon earth, and de-
manded payment for crossing the Acheron, it
would not have created more astOnishment than
! his demand for toll. Harry begged, and old
Davis swore. Harry swore, and old Davis raw.
cd. He'd be d--d il any more roasted chickens
and boiled hams could be passed through his
| gate under the Funeral Act.
Harry was obliged to pay the sum-six dol
lars and forty cents--bHt swore off from any
more funeral ing on that road.
CINCINNATI, Ono. CHIPS.