The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1852-04-09

mTis dreadful cold on,,'' said Smith,
"and you'd better take something to
warm you up,". and be handed an over.
flowing glass Of hot toddy 10 the Yankee.
"Jis, as much obliged TO YOU as tho |
took H." said the Yankee. "But you see
| jist afore I left hum, Parson Smith eo,
me to pu. my name TO piece Of paper
saying, 4 abstain from all intoxicating
drinks, and wine and CIDER and, besides,
never drink anything ofien." W
$50 much the BETTER" all whispered,
1--WE can get him drunk the easier.' !,
!, required not great deal of pessuHA
sion TO pe, one glass into the Yankee,
for Smith assured him that he was a
namesake Of the Parsons and the pledge
only meant for him while at home.
One glass went and another followed,
the lawyers pariaking the while. The
first glass made the Yankee chatty, The
mex, two foolish, and the next two did
the business. and declared him as drunk
as a fool. BY din. Of hard labot, with
the assistance Of the hostler, they man
aged 10 get him up stairs and into he'd.
His clothes were taken off and placed SO
as 10 be eusily accessible, and then
the lawyers ex.inguished The light and
retired. .r st.e1 p 3'I
All this time the Yankee had been
laying with his eyes half open. watching
the maneuvers OF the card. He had Of
course feiened the drunkenness, for he
was one Of those who did love a glass
occasionally, and his equal at drinking
was not 10 be found every day.
As the lawyers retired, he leaped from
The he'd, and amid their meanings and
hiccups, which prevented the possibility
Of their hearing the least noise, he Sc
cured his own clothing, even down 10 his
boots, and selecting single article from
the clothes Of each Of the rest, dstri.
bu,ed them around where his own had
been. Tbis done, he retired, and by
snoring soon satisfied the lawyers TINT
he was fas, in the arms Of the sleepy
god, Morpheus, y,
A short time elapsed, and the sprigs Of
the law called the name Of the Yankee.
He answered not; and they (el, assured
he was too drunk and sleepy to know
anything, and then their work com.
menced. .
|. Blown slipped from the bed. Cropping
around, he found where the Yankee's
boots had stood, and taking the lamp,
poured its contents, a good pin, Of the
best winter strained oil in them. Then
lie returned TO his bed. s,, q. /.
A moment after, aud Smith came
forth. He would not be SO hard on the
Yankee, so he only severed one leg from
his pants, and opening the window, threw
il ont. l.Fs '9Hlf .'0r2'1l|
Next in rotation, from another bed,
came Clark, and then followed Jones,
White and Colt, each performing his
part, and then returning TO their respect
i've betls.
The sun had been up several hours
we dom, dispute about the number,
readet-when our worthless opened their
eyes. They looked about moment,
and recollecting that court opened at ten,
they made preparo,ions for par,aking Of
breakfast. Fl r q ehan b7
Sprihging from their beds, eacl, seized
his slo,hing, and commenced getting into
il. ,4Hr3 ''f
Smith seized his pants, and hauled
them en-. 10 his horror, lie found them
minus one leg. He looked about like
one endeavoring 10 solve some difficult
problem. He sa. down on his bed, the
very picture Of despair, while the others
laughed heartily.
s'Smiih." said one, "you was too drunk
last night TO Joke, and Gu, of your own
irowsers' leg You're disgrace to the
Meanwhile the others had been busy
abou, their clothes. Dol, found his yes,
seveted at the back, and one half was
gone. Thus he had severed the Yam.
KEGS, SO he thought.
"And you TOO, was drunk, Colt" said
White, "we'll turn you out" la .nI|
But White could no, find his vest. He
recollected having noticed tba, the Yen.
kee had two on, il being cold, and that
one Of them he had thrown out Of the
window. He looked out, and there was
the identical vest, his own, lying across
the chimney TO the porch beneath, now
burned to crisp. asm 5gdn Na4ay 4
ITO wha, has the profession arived!"
said Brown; "alas,, for it!'' ~ aaiyio|
Jones had by this time pulled on his
coat. Both arms were gone! and he
looked as he stood in asionishment with
arms pro,ruding out from the edge Of The
coat. more like fool than anything else.
"What shall I doi" he exclaimed, athis
IS TOO bad. I'm to defend On infringe.
ment case to-day, and a coat with no
sleeves TO II! Blast the Yankee" coJ
Brown and Clark stood convulsed with
laughter, gazing at the sorry spectacle
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