Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1852-02-19
Model Livrey-stabIc Keeper.
SPICING A HORSE.


sed to be able to tell within a halfa mile how
far one of his anatomical horse-p preparations
had travelled, whenever they had been out.
AS the village was principally devoted to
manufacturing, and " factory bugs" are pro-
verbally hard customers for horse-fesh, old |
Sim was in the habit of depending on his own
judgment when calculating the bill rather than
the statements of the person who had used |
one of his animiIeS.
1t was curious to observe the movements
Of old Sim, when horse was returned to his .
stable after jaunt into one of the neighbor-
ing towns. Without needing, or hearing E.
ven, word that was said to him by the Gus
toner who asked for his bill, Sim would walk
rapidly to the crow-bait, place his hands up
on its hoopy sides, and stand in fit of ab-
straction for full five minutes. Then, STEP
ping briskly back to the horse, perhaps, as he
did so-he would without hesitation name
the amont necessary to satisfy his +" claim"
ocounter-statements or protestations could
alter his de eision. If the customer swore
every thing sacred that he had only driven a
certain distance old Sim would look him in
the eye with peculiar, smile, which seemed
to say
Oh, yes! No doubt you'd like TO gam
mon me-but old sim is not to be caught"
Sim became, at length, such monomaniac
on this subject, that all the town cracked their
jokes upon him, and one warm day in June,
when it was the topic of conversation at the
Jackson Hotel, a wag named Jack Harrison
proposed to try an experiment, by way oftes-
ting old Sims power of computing distances
in reference to the performances ofhis teams.
Jack accordingly dispatched lad with
note to Mr.. Trotwood, requesting that team
should be brought round to the hotel at two
o'clock, as he wished to drive to New Boston,
about four miles distant-promisingt to return
at FIVE in the afternoon.
| A very respectable equine skeleton was
: brought to the door, and Jack ordered it to
be put into the stable of the hotel, with
peck of oats before, where the nag remained
in quiet and comparative luxury until six O.
clock precisely. In the meantime, Jack and
his companions remained in the hotel, Smi-
ling, smoking their segars, and chuckling in
anticipation of smoking old Sim.
AT six P NJ. the steed was brought into
the stable yard, and as much warm pepper tea
was poured down his attenuated neck as was
necessary to put him into reeking sweat,
/ He was then put to harness, and driven
round neighboring square several times, at
the top of his speed, and sent to the stable in
a profnse perspiration, with request that
Mr.. Trotwood would send Mr.. Harrisons, bill
by the boy.
/ Old Sim had been swearing roundly be-
cause "Dick" was not returned at the hour
promised, as he had missed thereby an Op-
portunity to "let him" to another customer
that evening, and when he saw the animal
in a complete foam, he rushed toward him
muttering, " Been out more'n he agreed to
s'pose he drove all over creation and part
of Rhode Island beside -
+" But how is this !''exclaimed Sim, when
he had placed his hands on the animals
'leathern Sides as Longfellow calls them
thunderin' hot, pears to me Where the
devil has he been with this hoss y
"Please to give the bil!" asked the boy,
who had received orders not to return without
the document.
! "New Boston - CALCULATED old Sim indig-
nantly, without needing the boy ''New
Boston. As fur as that no doubt! and Swamp
Holow--Rumford-- Hopevllie-SmlthvIile--
and half the country to boot = ss5 aJ
And still the beast painted, and grew hot
ter and hotter, as old Sim Investigated, and
computed the immense distance he must have
performed. At length he rushed into the lt-
tie office where his buffalo robes, whips, etc.,
were kept, and as the boy again asked 70.
the bill, he snapped out, Yes, yeS! I'll
make out yer bill =
Sim sat down to his old greasy desk IN
great excitement, seized scrap OF paper and
wrote rapidly. When he had finished, he
folded the note hastily, put 1t into the lads
hand, and slapping him on the back babe hlm
carry it to Mr.. Harrison. aa
Jack Harrison and his party were waiting
anxiously at the Jackson Hotel, when the
boy rushed in, with the bill crumpled in his
hand. Jack seized it, and his sides fairly
shook with laughter as he glanced at its con-
tents. A sa.ye ~ - s1afnlsa|
I .sRead it, Jackr'-" Read her out!"--
I" Let's have it," resounded from the company.
Jack commanded silence, cleared his throat,
and read as follows -
81. HARRISON, Esq,
! TO Simeon Trotwood DR..
:" For driving my horse to New Bos-
ton, Swamp Hollow, lIopevjlle,
Smithville, He'll and elseWhere!!! $1,000
Jack paid the bill, but never tried similar
experiment on old Sim Trotwood. Boston
Daily Times.