Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1852-11-03
vol. 5S.-NO. SO.


Now, girls, said Aunt Hetty, put down
your embroidery aud worsted work, do some
thing sensible, and stop building air castles
and talking Of lovers and honey. moons; 10
makes me sick it's perfectly antimonial--
Love is farcc--matrimony is humbug
husbands are domestic Neros--Al exanders,
signing for other hearts TO conquer. after they
are sure of yours. The honey moon is as
short lived as lucisor match After that,
wear your wedding dress at the washtub,
your nightcap to meeting. and your husband
would'n know it. You may pick up your
own pocket handkerchief, help yourself to
chair, and split yonr gown across the back
reaching over the table to get piece Of but
ter. while be is laying 10 bis breakfast as ir it
was the last meal be should cal this side of
Jordan When he gets through. he will aid
your digestion (while You are slipping your
first cup Of coffee) by inquiripg what you'll
have for dinner whether the cold lamb was
all eaten yesterday If the charcoal is out
and what you gave for the last green tea you
bought Then he gets up from the table;
lights bis cigar with the last evening paper,
that you have not had time to read gives
two or three whiffs Of smoke, that are sure to
give you the headache for the rest Of the day.
and just rs his coat tail is vanishing through
the door, apologies for not doing chat 1T
tie GRAND" for you yesterday---thinks il
doubtful if he can do il to-day--he is so
pressed with business. Hear Of him at IL
clock. taking an rec cream at Newton's.
while you are at home new lining bis coat
sleeves. Children by the ears all day don't
get out to take the air feel IS crazy as a
fly in drum husband comes home at night.
mods how dye do. Fan boxes Charley's
ears stands little Fanny 10 the corner, puts
his feet up over the CRATE, shutting out all
the fire, while the baby 3 little pug nose grows
blue with the cold: reads the newspaper all
to himself, solaces his inner man with a Eot
cup Of tea and, just - yon are laboring un-
der the hallucinatioa that ne will ask you to
take mouthiul Of fresh air with him, be puts
on bis dressing gown and slippers, and be.
gins to reckon up the family expenses! az
ter which, he lies down on the sofa, and you
keep time with your needle. while he SHORES
till o'clock. Mex. morning you ask him
to give you some money; he looks at you as
tito be sure that Jon are in your right MUD.
draws sigh long aud strong enough to iufato
a pair Of bellows, aud ask you Whit you want
of it, and if half dollar viii nos do. Gra-
cious king! AS if al those little shoes and
stockings aud dresses could be had fof half d
dollar ! Oh, girls set your affections Oh
cats. poodlcs parrots, or hpdogs--bnt les
matrimony alone. It's the hardest way orr
earth of getting living--you never know
when your work is done mp. Think Of ear
rying eight or nine--perbsps twelve or thir-
tcen--childrcu tbrouph the measjes chicken
pox. rash, mumps, and scarlet fevcf--somo
Of EN- twice over ! II makes my sides acho
to think Of it. Oh. Jon may scrimp and
save, and twist end turn, and dig and delve,
economic and die and your husband will
marry again. take what you have saved to
dress his second wife with. and she'll take
your portrait for IRE board, and--but what
is the use Of talking2 III warrant every
one of you'll try it, the hrst chance you get.
There's sort of bewitchment about it,
somehow wish one-half Of the world
warn't fools. and the tother bali idiots--I do.
Oh dear.