The mountain sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1844-1853, 1852-12-02

From the Annals of Frogtown.

that Miller's wife has run off with Bob Tape,
Yardstick's clerk, do you.
Eyes do, too, haint it been the talk of the
neighborhood for year past, that Miller's wife
and that feller-Bob Tape-were q lettle too
thick ?''
''Well uncle JOSH says neighbor Brown, 81
don't recollect anybody saying anything about
it but you, and for my part l don't believe a
word of it,
'.Why, haint N1iller's wife gone says uncle
Josh.
II don't KNOWS she" says Brown.
because she is +; l went over to the store this
morning, the first thing, to see if Bob Tape was
about-he wasn't ,thar-they said he'd gone to
Boston on business for old Yardstick. o, no !!
says l, and then 1 started off for Heeltap's shop;
we alters said how things would turn out. He
was out, seein' me go to shop, he came runnin'
and says he: uncle Josh, they're gone, sure
enough I've been over to old Nanny Gabbles,
and she sent her Suke over to Millers pre-
tence of borrowin' some lard, but told Suke to
look around and see if Miller's wife wur about
by Nebbynezer, Miller's wife wur gone. Marin
Gabbles couldn't rest, so she sent back Suke,
and told her to ask the children where there
Marin was Miller hearing Suke, ordered her
to scoot, SO Suke left without hearin' the facts
of the case, as Squire Black says But Heel
tap swears and know Millers wife and Bob
Tape have sloped, as they say in the papers"
4sWell," says Brown, Pm sorry if it's true
/ don't believe a word of it though, and as it's
none of my business, l shall have nothing to say
about it.
Uncle Josh was one of those inordinate pests
which almost every village, town and hamlet in
the country is more or less accursed with. He
was great tall, bony, sharp-nosed, grinning ge-
MUS, who, being in possession of large farm,
with plenty of boys and girls to work it did not
do anything but eat, sleep, and lounge around;
gatherer of scan mag, news and scandal
mOnger, great guesser and strong suspicion
er Of eyerybody's motives and intentions, and of
course never imputed good motive or move
mert to anybody.
You've seen those wretches, male and female,
haven't you, dear reader Such people are
great nuisances-half the discomforts of life
are bred by them they contaminate and poison
the air they breathe with their noisome breath,
like the odor of the Upas tree. Uncle Josh had
annoyed many-he was the dread and disgust
of seven-eights of the town he lived in, He
caused more quarrels, smutted more characters,
and created more ill-feeling between friends,
neighbors and acquaintances than all else be-
sides in the community of Frogtown. Uncle
Josh was voted great bore by the men, and "a
sneaking, meddling old granny by the women
So at last the young women of the town did a
gree that the very next time Uncle Josh carried,
concocted, or circulated any slanderous or other
wise mischievous stories, that they would duck
him in the mill race.
Now, Brown old Mr. Brown-was the very
antipode of Uncle Josh !; he was always for ta-
king matters and things by the smoothest handle.
Mr. Brown never told tales, backbited or SANDER
ed anybody everybody had good word to say
about Mr.. Brown, and Mr.. Brown bad good
word to say abouteverybody. The gals thought
it prudent to gveold Mister Brown an inkling of
their plans in regard to the disposition they
intended to make of Uncle Josh the old man
laughed and told them to go ahead, and to duck
old Josh, and perhaps they would reform him.
'tNow, gals" said old Mr.. Brown, "Uncle
Josh has just this very day been at his dirty
work by this time he has spread the news all
over the town, that Miller's wife had gone off
with Yardstick's clerk. don't believe a single
word of his tale, and if Millers wife amt real
ly gone off Uncle Josh ought to be soused in
the mill race"
Next morning Miller's wife came home she
had been down to sister few miles off, to see
a sick child her husband had been away at
tending to law suit, in neighboring town
and SO Miller nor his wife knew nothing of the
report of her elopement with Bob Tape until
their return.
Miller was in a rage, but could find out the
author of the report. Miller's wife was deeply
mortified that such suspicion should arise of
her; she had been making Bob Tape some
new clothes to go to Boston in, and here was
the gist Of Bob and NIiller's wife's intimacy !
There was q great time about it Miller swore
like trooper, and his wife nearly cried her eyes
out.
A few evenings afterwards, it being clear cold
weather in October, Polly Higgins and Sally
Smith called to see Miller's wife, and asked her
to join them in little party that some OF the
nelghboring women had got up that evening, for
q particular purpose. Miller's wife not having