The organ of the temperance reform. (Cincinnati, O. [Ohio]) 1852-1853, 1852-04-16


for some sand. Anxious to be ofservice,. l rush
ed forward, seized, as i'll luck would have IT, tht
mkstand Instead Of the sand box, and poured
whole stream Of the best writing fluid over tn
neatly kept ledger. 1 though should immedi
ately faint from sheer fright, and in my confus
ion hnrriedly drew forth my snoW-White hand
kerchief to wipe itup.
With an exclamation Of "What on earth ar
you doing there, friend Stolpriau?" my enter
tainer smilingly interposed aud pushing me an
my black and white kerChief gently aside
quickly put things to rights, then led the wa
to the apartment where the company we're as
sembled. followed, bnt with troubled spirit
aud on looking down was Mortified TO observ
an ink blot as large as florin on my left whit
stockin. "Help me, Heavens" | mentally
groaned, "what will the company think =
The room door is open. l, awkward, block
headed BOBBY that was thinking to show my
self light and graceful; as well as clever and
gallant, sprang forward, bowling right and left,
scraping first with one foot then with the other
in all directions, and perceiveing a fema do
nestle Just before, who was in the acj of dish
ing up pie, dashing my head with such f. rec
into her back as to send the pi flying out of the
dish on the floor, and SO with compliments, and
ducking and bowling blindly, advanced, felt as
though | were in the battle, and about to rush
on the enemy's guns
What civil things were said on tile part Of
the company knew not; as yet had not the
courage to look up, butcontinued like one pos
sessed, bowing and scraping, and enjaculaIing
'your humble servant" in all directions, until
utshOrt by fresh mishap.
had in fact reached the pie, which still LAY
there, for the servant had not sufficiently recoy
cred from her fright and loss Of breath, ant
stood stareDg at the masterpiece Of cooking
dashed to pieces on the floor, without an effOr
30 remove it.
All at once, while engaged in making frcsl
inclination, my unfortunate left foot Waaderet
into tho pastry. | saw nothing for all had be
come dark before my eyes. DsgraCefully bu
naturally enOuge, my foot slid from under me
in AZ iaslaat personal and political balance wer
ies5 aa3 d0wH came, measuring my Who'll
length, Just five feet seven, on the floor, to th
no small alarm Of some, the irrepressible laugh
ter OF others, of the large and worshipful CON
pany there assembled.
In falling broke down two chairs, which
had seized hold Of in order to save my self, ia
gether with Young and pretty female who i
all probability was at that moment about t
seat herself, but with speed equal to that Of he
chair, came rolling on the floor besides me-
Gracious heavens it was Barbara.
A terrible clamOr arose, and as lay there
roared Justify too, seeing in.addiiiOn to mysel
| and the two chairs lady stretched out on tn
floor, felt persuaded that shock Of earth
quake must have taken place. To my great re
lief | soou discovered that no earthquake haJ
caused this melancholy fall, bat as already mar
rated only veal pasty.
We got up. The cousin treated the whole az
fair as an excellent joke, bat could have wept
nay, died, with shame and vexation. went Il
the mantel, piece without one word Of apology
bat as all were laughing a1d giggling around
laughed too, and threw from time to time stol
en- glances at the cause Of my misfortune.
At last We took our places at the table.
The cousin was so gallant as to place me mex
to Barbara. / had rather have been situatet
near a volcano than at the side Of the amiabl
and pretty creature, felt most extraordinar,
sensations while thus in juxtaposition with m,
future bride. OF the assembled guests ventur
ed only to take rapid glance at intervals.
Soup was served round. Barbara offered m
some-but how could l accept iti She hersel
was yet unprovidsd. Compliments were ex
changed aud / already fOresaw that some ney
evil wopld arise out Of these eivilities. Henc
! bee anne more and more pressing, and looking
imploringly into the face Of my Charmer forgo
the plate altogether. The consequence wa
that poured the burning soup into Barbara
lap and over her clothes, and endeavOring has
! tily to withdraw il sent the remainder into mi
a,,H
! ger napkin; it was a frateFnal division. / re-
member all as though itw but yesterday -
| 1t was crab soup.
The charming Barbara left the table. STAN
mered out sundry apologies. The guests endea
vored TO console me, and fresh plate was hand
ed to me. Meanwhile my pantalOOus wer
streaming from an inundation. Barbara wa
obliged to change her dress. She sOou returned
and l endeavored again and again to excu;
myself as we'll as | could
On psrcsiving that she had smiled graciousI
felt somewhat reassured, and began to brus
the cold perspiratiOn from my face, Of eouri
not with my hand, but with my pocket kerchie
Alas, amidst the accumulated disasters TIL
had since occurred had clean forgotten q
ink business. In drying off the perspiration
rubbed in the ink so thoroughly, that on n
placing the handkerchief in my pocket, Il
whole company were amazed to find me cor
verted into perfect blaCkamoOr.
Tittering aud roars Of laughter succeeded
Politeness compelled me to join in the laugl
and did 50 heartily for some time withou
knowing Why or wherefore until found thl
some Of the ladies were becoming alarmed
the blaelness Of my visage, and nov, for th
first time, perceived that my handkerchief ha
brought me into fresh serape, and what a
appearance | must present.
ia alarm arose precipitately from thetabls
and commenced retreat towards the kitchel
in order to wash myself, and in 90 doing. for
had Inadvertently bnttonsd corner Of tn
table napkin to my wastcOat, down came plate
and dishes, boiled and roast meats, salad, spin
sch, bottles and salt sellars, flesh and fowl
knives and forks, spoons and glasses. All
rushed after me with fearful crashing an
clatter. heguests, on witnessing all the goo
things withdrawn, and many delicacies 0
which they vet their hearts come in full care.
after me, sat open-mouthed and riyeted
I the spot with astOnishment.