The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1852-08-26
From Punch
THOUGHTS ABOUT MONEY;
BY ONE VINO BARELY HAS ANY; AND THEN, VERY
LITTLE OF IT.

BY ONE VINO BARELY HAS ANY; AND THEN, VERY
LITTLE OF IT.
There is no art which requires so much
ielcacy to practice, as the art of borrow.
ing money.
The only time, | think, when nan
loses all consciousness Of money, is when
be is up in balloon; and that s about the
only place. also, believe. where he can
really live without il,
Death is made bitter to many men from
The pang they feel in leaving their gold
behind them. If they could only take il
70 heaven, they would die Supremacy hap
py.
always thought there might be a much
greater simplicity Of lenguage. and far
less hypocrisy oi audation, on our tomb
stones, it, instead Of the human qualities
that are heaped upon man after he is in
his grave, one were simply to express the
amount Of wealth he died possessed Of
For instance, as plainly as this: "ucre
lies John Jones, aged Al, who at his death
was worth cl00,000!w Could worldly
praise possibly sosr higher? How ridicu
Iously faint universally beloved by all
who knew him." would read BY the side ol
an epitaph like the above!
am assured by the poetess that "ihere
is q silver lining TO ever cloud" As | dc
not live in The clouds, cannot say; but
any wish there was a silver lining te
every purse.
| have como to this impertinent concu-
ion-"The Epelishman abroad is only
tolerated fer his Money!
The greatest consolation many men
have when they have Lost their money, is
that at all events they close it like gen
tlcman."
once knew philosopher, who proten.
ded to have such great contempt for the
value of money, until he was fined five
shillings at Police Office. lie altered
his opinion directly after he had been i'm
prisoned six weeks, because he couldn't pay
the fine.
OF all expensive Injuries, man pays the
dearest, perhaps, for that of Law. When
once lie has entered Court O! Justice, he
cannot take step, nor speak, nor write
single word, nor swear, nor look at tho
Judge, without its costing him 20 much for
each separate action. am sure the scales
Which Themis balances in her hands,
must be TO hold the money which Plaintiff
and Defendant are expected 10 drop into
them before she will trouble herself &c
weigh the evidence. It's the heaviest
purse that wins.
The men who inveigh the strongest
against money and It's corrup,ion, and
cali all sorts Of hard names, such s"dirty
sross," ''yeloy Dirt ''flthy lucre," &c.,
&c, have generally found to be the hard
est men to deal with, and the most rapa-
ciousy oxacting in all their pccunlary
transactions; men, in short, who would
sacrifice principle any day, sooner than
lose siypence!
The fsct Of a man losing his fortune,
can imsgine to be no, half go painful as the
comments OF his friends upon it.
To make money to enjoy it, lean under
stand easily enough; but 10 make money
merely to shut il up in enjoyment. Yet
the miser deyotes his whole life TO no other
pursuit. He makes money at the master
Of the mint makes it, to let others have the
enjoyment Of it. His existence is but a
living exempiication ofthe torment ofSIs-
vphus, only instead Of big stone, he is con-
tinuaiIy rolling up and downa tremendous
bag ofgold.
The Portico Of Life has no inscription
on ii. recommend the following: PAY
Here" for, on my word, il is nothing
buta system ofpaying from beginning 70
end.
The only man who managed, to my
knowledge, to live without money, was
Robinson Crusoe.
A man may owe as much money as he
plcases, and be thought none the worse
for il; but, if he leaves single debt OF hon
orunpaid, he Immediately forteits all pre-
tensions to the title of a gentleman.
Nothing so pililul IS Lord without
money in the society OF City gents, Che
most gentish form Of Gentism is, | believe,
the Gen,ism Of Money! unless it is City
gent, with plenty of money, In the society
of Lords.
There arc two classes of Poor the
rich Poor, and the poor Poor. The rich
Poor nro lhoso who, like mysefare poor.
and care nothing about it. The poor Poor
aro those who no, only nre poor. but are
ashamed Of being poor. Such men are the
very poorest of all poor people. and by the
side of one ofthem, | ging'e the keys in
my pocket and imagiae they are sove-
reigns.
Literature was scarcely considered re-
spectacle. until Sir Walter Scott made so
much money by il.
lfa man is economical, or penur;ous, or
exiraysgant at home, il is entirely owing
to his wife; for no man understands tho art
Of saving or spending money half so well
IS woman Depend upon il, if women
had tho management ofthe National Debt,
instead Of lot Of .sstupld old fngies" al
men, TINT popular burden would have been
paid off long ago--or else doubled.
More Thoughts ,chcn /, get some More
lloHeyl