Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1852-11-18
THE STORY TELLER.
Jim Blamder and the Quaker.
AN AMUSING STORY.

leon.
Many and bloody were the affairs he had in
his lifetime, and he invariably came off first
best Jim not only considered himself invul-
nerable, but all the fighting characters in the
surrounding country conceded it was no use TO
fight Jim, as he was considered TO be patent
threshing machine, that could not be improved
on. In Jm's neighborhood had settled quite a
number of Quakers. From some cause or 9TH
er, Jim hated the 'shad-belies, as he called
them, with his entire heart; he often declared
that to whip one of these inoffensive people
would be the crowning glory of his life. For
years Jim waited for pretext. One of Jim s
chums overheard young Quaker speak in
disparaging terms of him. The report soon
came 10 Jim's ears, not little magnifed.-
Jim made desperate threats what he was GO
ing TO do with Nathan, the meek follower Of
Penn, on sight, besides the various bruises
and con;usions he meant TO inaict on Nathan S
body in his chaste language, he meaut 10
gouge out both his eyes, and chaw off both his
ears.
Nathan heard of Jim's threats, and very
properly kept out of his way, hoping that time
would modify his anger 1t seems, however,
that this much desired result did not take place.
One day Nathan was out riding, and passing
through long lane, when about midway, he
espied Jim entering the other end. Nathan
might have turned and fled, but his spirit re-
beled at retreatng.
Il will pursue my way peaceably,' said the
Quaker, and hope the better sense of the
man of wrath will not permit him to molest
me, or allow him to do violence to my per-
son.
Nathan's calculations as TO the lamb-like
qualities of his adversary, were doomed to be
disappointed.
'Oh ho!' thought the bully, as he recognized
Nathan. Il have him at last Now I'll make
mince-meat of shad-belly! l will salt and
pickle him to5n
Wilt thou please dismount from thy horse 2
said jim, seizlng the bride of Nalhan's horse,
and mincing his style; my heart yearneth
above all things TO give thee the biggest maui
ing that ever man received
Friend James, replied Nathan, 'thou must
not modest me, but let me go my way in peace.
Thy better judgment will surely tell thee that
thou cannot possibly be benefited by personal
ly injuring me-.
Get down in moment!' thundered Jim
get down you canting, lying, misunderstanding
IN
dsmount.'
Friend James, l demonstrate against thy
proceeding, and against thy language, replied
Nathan. My religion teaches me sincerity.
/ am neither liar, mischiei-maker, nor a
hypocrite; l desire 10 pursue my way quietly
let me pass on
Get down. persisted Jim; down with you,
want TO beat some Of your religion out Of you
Il must give you fogging before leave
you. think by The time | am through with
you, you will pass for tolerable honest man.
Will leach you, In short easy lesson, the
importance Of mlndlng your own business, and
the risk you run in sanderng your neigh
burs'
L will not dismount,' said Nathan loosen
thy hold from the bridle.'
You won, won't you!' said jim then
here goes, and he made a desperate luuge TO
collar the Quaker.
Nathan was on his feet in an instant on the
opposite side Of the horse.
The Quaker, although of much smaller pro-
portions than his prosecutor, was all sinew and
muscle, and his well-knt form denoted both
activity and strength. His frame was evident
ly enkndled.
Friend James, he implored, thy pertina-
cious persistence in prosecuting me Is exceed
ingly annoying thou must desist, or, perad-
venture, may so far forget myself as To do
thee some bodily harm.
By snakes!' said Jim, coming towards Ma
than, believe that there is fight enough in
Broadbrlm to make the affair Interesting.
wish some of the boys were here to see the
fun. Now continued jim, friend Nathan,
am going to knock off the end of your nose
look out =
Suliing the action to the word, Jim, after
various pugilistic gyralions with his fist, made
scientific blow at The nasal formation of our
friend, but Tom Hyer could not more scientifi-
caily have warded it off. Jim was evidently
disconnected at the ill success of his attempt
he saw he had undertaken quite as much as he
was likely TO accomplish. James however.
Strengthened himself out, and approached Ma
than cautiously. The contest began again.
Nathan stood his ground firmly, and skilfully
warded off the shower of blows which James
aimed at him.
Friend James, said Nathan, in the heat Of
the contest, this is mere child's play. 1t
grieves me that thou has forced me into resis-
,ance, but must defend myself from bodily
harm. l see that there is but one way Of
bringing this scandalous and wicked affair to a
close, and that is by my conquering thee; in
order to do.ihis, l will infict heavy blow be-
tween thine eyes, which will PROSTATE thee.'
Following this suggestion, Nathan struck
Jim tremendous blow on his forehead, which
brought him senseless to the ground.
Now said Nathan, L will teach thee a
lesson, and hope it will be wholesome les
son, too. will seat myself straddle of thv
breast-I will place my knees upon thy arms,
thus, SO that thou cannot injure me when thou