The Democratic sentinel and Harrison County farmer. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1851-1852, 1852-06-23
The Man that got Humbugged.

ceed upon our journey. Cigars had been
lighted, and by way of passing our time, we
had commenced a critical examination of
the mammoth pictorial posters of Barnum's
Menagerie, which covered the walls of the
spacious bar-room. Barnum's name open
ed fruitful topic for conversation; every
one present seemed stored with anecdotes
of the "Napoleon of Showmen," and the
Wolley Horse, the Freeiee Mermaid, and
Joice Heth, were notforgotten in the discus
sion which followed.
Suddenly long slab-sidded individual,
with an owl-like expression of wisdom and
dignity, who had been listening to our re-
marks with an evident desire to take hand,
broke out
81 s'pose you think that's an ALFRED big
concern? Any body would that hadn't seen
it,"
"Then suppose you have seen it?" said
my legal friend
"Yeas, seen it at Springfield" was the
reply: "it's darned Il mJag"
"Is it possible!'' said the Major, seeing
a prospect of fun. Couldn't you oblige US
with description of the "institution.?''
Certainly" answered Jonathan; "here's
the stage, and as soon as we get started, I'll
give you all the items. They can't humbug
me very often, and when they do, cali
late to advertise or 'em till get square,"
In few minutes we were under headway.
and our verdant friend commenced unbosom-
ing himself
eyer, see, Barnum was a going to show
his caravan down to Springfield, 4Ih of July,
and l thought there'd be good chance to
see the elephant and celebrate the day, both
at ons't. What wanted to see more than
ell the rest, was the Car of Jngglenot, drawn
by a string of elephants"
"Did it meet your expectation"
81 never seen one side of it. Before l
got into town, they'd got all through para
din" the elephants were Embarrassed, and
! the Car Of Juggenot was into woodshed.
| made up my mind right off, then, that
the whole consarn was a humbug."
"Was Barnum aware" l asked, "that
you were to be in town."
"Not as | know" was the answer.
''If he had known ii" added the Major,
che would doubtless have waited. But you
visited the exhibition"
"Of course; was bound to do that if it
bust me. That was bigger humbug than
all the rest"
| elbow SOP
"Why in the first place, l expected to see
Jenny Lind"
, "Was she annoonced in the bills?"
81 don't know; didn't read 'em, but
asked the man that stuck up the picters if
she'd be there, and he said yes, and that
she'd sing the bird song standin' on the top
of cage Of coccatoos and parrots. She
wasn't there, and I never seen one side of
! jher-and know'd the whole consarn was
darn'd humbug.
"Well, then, went round and took a look
at the elephants-had to work hard to get
round tu; there was NOR II a hundred thou
sand people in the tent. Finally [ got
where they was and the folks was all feedn'
with apples and cakes and things. had
some doughnuts in my hat, so held it out
to enc of the darned things, to see if he'd
take one"
''Did he take one?"
''He took EN- all, and the hattu, stuck 'em
in his nasty, peaked mouth, and begun eat
en-" hollered to the keeper, and told him
it was bran new one"
/ "Did he get it?''
/ eyes, he got it, but hat amt ofmuch ac-
count after an elephants chaeoed it. Then
! I'd sworn the hull concern was hrmbug.
Well / took look at Tom Thumb, and the
man that tiddled with his toes, and the fcl
ler that went in with the lions. The wild ami
mails was well enough, but didn't see as
they looked any diherentfrom anobod y else's.
| expected Barnum's hons would be twice
as bigas an others. There one thing, though,
! that was fustrate; that was the wax statutary
especially the "intemperence family -
| told the man that TUX care of it, | wished
everybody that ever drinked a drop of spir-
its had to stand and took at that about a
week-they'd never want to drink again.
He said he wished so TIL.
Take it all in all though, was mad; |
didn't see what expected and didn't like
the idea of being humbugged, so l enquired
of the men that was sturren' up the monkies
where Barnum was and he pointed him out
to me, selling lemonade out of wagon.
went up to him, aud thinks |, "'ll give
him piece of my mind" Sez |:
"Mr. Barnum-"
"only sxpence glass"
81 looked at his lemonade; there was jest
one lone, solitary, econd-handed slice of
, lemon in whole wash-tub fall of it, and lie
r pedliu' it out out at sixpence glass. That
) made me madder THAR all the rest, SO says
: /, loud and auditably:
"Mr. Barnum, l think your shows a
darned humbug.'
young man." sez he, 81 'spose you paid
to come in?'
"Supposin, did?" sez I.
"Well," sez he, "suopposin' you have;
you have paid your quarter, and you've a
perfect right to thing just what you d d
please"
"why," said the major, after the sensa-
| ton caused by this recital had somewhat
subsidized, "You certainly could have COM
PEELED them to refund your quarter"
"You see the truth is," said Jonathan,
. scratching bis head, II didn't pay no quar-,
: ter croyled under the cJavaSs! !"--N y
!. Times.
We ALL HAVE OUR TRoUBLEs.--Sster Ma
ry--' Why Charley, dear boy, what's the
matter? You seem miserable?' Charley
-"Ah! amt Just! Here's Ma says
= must wear turn-down collars till Christmas