The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1852-01-29

From Punch's Almanac for 1852
How TO CHOOSE RoPE.--ifyou want goot
servi,e bic rope, the strongest you can selec
Is rope OF Onions.
The EMBLEM OF FooLHARD1sEss.-S Sheep.
head and pluck.
A SPECTATORS APoLoGY.-You can't make
the pot boil without bubbles. 4s
Question FOR NATURALIsTs.-Why is the
Pelican ike Mr.. Hobbs Because he is cele.
brated for picking his chest. 1---s 3 ~
TEEToTALIsM in HIGH LIFE.-If genteel
family were TO sign the pledge, they would
discharge the Bntler and not have any Porter
Punch defines liberty to be an angel till we
gain her, and a woman afterwards.
BRIEFLEss ON THE PROFESSION OF THF Law.
-Briefess says, the Law is certainly profess
sion, for with him it is anything but Prac-
1ice!
THE TIGHTEsT KNOT IN THF WORLD
The Matrimonial Knot, once tied, never can
be united and the worst is that, like the Cor
dian Knot, you cannot even cut it.
the British troops is objected to by the fnan-
cial economists in peace, and in war by the
enemy.
lfa foreigner were told that many poor Gu
rate struggled and starved upon f40 year
for doing the work of a Rector who frequently
had $4,000, what would he say fthe English
Church : shameful In-a-curacy!" (Inac-
curacy.)
PRoPHETIc.-When you see big woman
put her hands upon her hips, and, looking very
black, intimate to person that she is going to
give him "a bit of her mind," the chances are,
she will not only give it him, but likewise break
the peace.
QUESTIONS IN MYTIIoLoGY.-If Atlas could
support the world on his shoulders, was he able
TO balance the Poles on his chin?
NoN-lNrERVENTIoN.-A principle that can.
mt ha IaJf y,cl~, Ill =.
monial wars.
Akin to.the above is the following receipt to
brew good domestic quarrel:
Get plenty of hot water, which you can al
ways have by running into debt. Into the hot
water throw your grievance, and keep stirring
1t for several hours with any small trife that
turns up. When it begins to boil, pour in all
the household annoyances you can rake to-
gether, and flavor it with the bitterest truths,
OF which you should always keep stock at
home, ready cut and dried. Let it. stand all
night, and, if you come down to breakfast very
late the next morning, you will find that there
has been great rise, in the meantime, in your
quarrel. The next thing is to commence cool
ing down which is best done by drawing off
rapidly into opposite corners. If you want
your quarrel TO be brewed very strong, and to
last the household long time, you had better
get your mother-inlaw to come and lis q
month with you.
IMPORTANT To PUEsTERs.-He who makes
real jokes is called wag; but he who makes
only heavy attempts at joking may be called
wagon.
MUSICAL FAcT.-PeOple are apt to complain
ofthe vile tunes that are playd about the streets
by grinding organs, and yet they may all be
said to be the music Of HANDLE.
The NATURAL MoRALIsT.-The autumnal
breeze is not celebrated for making good reso.
lutons, and yet it keeps turning overa new
leaf
He that wears tight boots is likely to have a
marrow understanding.
INDOOR GARDENING.-On could, damp
nights in winter, prepare hot-beds with a
warming, pan.
YANKEEIsM.-Ikn know q maiden old lad down
in Virginia who objects to the study of garden
ing, because she says it is naughty culture
Ian hortculture.)