Fremont weekly freeman. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1850-1853, 1852-02-07
For az Freslnan.
Mr.. SOakum'S Dreaml

L
Booty. fuddled, or drunk, all bis customers had
left; all except one ragged wretch, who half
sitting, half lying. in ricketty chair in the
corner. had forgotten all his miseries in a
drunken sleep.
Mr.. Soakum seized him by the collar, and
gave him a rousing shake, Mr.. Soakum knew
that the poor wretch had nothing left, and
could only afford to get drunk when stray
sixpence or shilling fell by some strange acci-
dent into his handy "Come" said he, wake
up, and be off I want to shut up shop
The poor old vagabond, gathering up what
little strength and sense he had left, got up
and staggered out; as he went he gave a
longing look at the casks and decauters.
And now Mr.. Soakum was alone. He turn
ed the key in the door, blew out all the lights
save one. and then proceeded to count the
contents Of his money-drawer Seven dollars
and forty-two cents! at least FIVE dollars clear
pro6tl With theme of reflection SO conl-
Portable, Mr.. Soakum sat down by the stove
to warm himself, before going out into the
cold night on his way home. With bis money
in his pocket no wonder he sat longer than he
intended. How happy he fels as be looked
! round on his well filed casks and barrels, and
thought of the clear profit their contents would
bring him. Being fatigued with his days la
Dor, and overcome by the warmth of the fire,
he became drowsy, and gradually sunk into a
deep sleep. How long he slept, he could not
tell; but all at ence he seemed to be wide
awake. Whether his dream was caused by
reading the account of what was seen in his
shop on a former occasion, or whether what
he saw was true vision, he cannot tell, but
there, right on the top of the stove, where he
was seen before, sat Old Nick. Mr.. Soakum
rubbed his eyes to dispel the vision. as if 1t
had been the work of his own disordere fan
cy, but there the devil sat- "Well Soakum'
says he, looking at him with a horrible con-
iortion which Ras meant for friendly grin,
business goes well don't be scared old
friend. I'Ye known you this long time want
to have little chat with you;-you're the
right sort,-none of those thin-skinned fellows,
that sell only to temperate men however,
| they serve you and me too,-their customers
wiz all be here in due time but you suit me,
you've no more conscience than whipping
post Here Soakum WINGED little, ,(-what!
l don't hurt you're feelings, do I?-you de-
! light me Soakum,-you're the man for me-
you've no more feeling than tread-mill, Here
Soakum WINGED again, )-chser up old friend,
cheer up old friend, PHI back you,-any
more capital wanting Pm silent partner
you know,-let you have any amount-come
Soakum, stir up the Ere, my toes are cold, =
One,-and mind, no water in it.
| M. IL; Il
more easy at first he was Awfully scared. but
up courage. So he got up and drew brin-
ming glass of his best and strongest. Old Nick
seized it, and as he did so clapped bis thumb
on one of Soakum's fingers. Soakum jumped
as though be had touched red hot poker
"Ha! Ha! HoI Hol" shouted Old Nick
"never mind,-you'll get used to that one of
these days.-nothing like habit Soakum.-
was tender as you once, but can't do with
less than boiling heat now.-when you come
to stay with me, I'll put you through course
that will make perfect fre-eater of you.'
(Soakum blew his finger very hard, and vino
ed terribly Old Nick began to blow his
whisky, not to cool it but to heat it, for his
breath came forth like white fame.
Cant drink anything cold, Soakum," says
! he,-'it don't agree with me-" And when
he had brought it to the boiling point, he turn
ed it down with infinite gusto. Excellent
liquor Soakum," says he,-"6t for the devil
himself-but bark ye Soakum, for must be
going,-don't let the temperance folks scare
you,-they're a pack of noodles,-I wish
had 'em down below,-wouldn't fry 'em ?
if ever do catch 'em there !'-( Here he reach
ed down to the fire. and went through with
sundry gyrations with two fingers extended,a ,as
if initiating the motions of one roasting fowl
on the points of fork, but mind one thing
Soakum,-Tm horribly afraid of this Maine
Liquor Law,-don't you think ?-it has killed
the business of every Soakum in Maine,-it
has spilled more than hundred thousand
gallons of the good stuff, enough to have made
FIVE hundred drunkards,-it has saved Eve
thousand tipplers that were as good as mine,
| it has made FIVE thousand homes happy and
comfortable, that were miserable enough to
suit the devil himself before,-it breaks my
heart to think of these things Soakum, (Here
Old Nick, seized the end of his tail and made
a motion as if to wipe his eyes)-but Soakum,
mind what say, if they begin to talk of this
Maine Liquor Law here, do you roar liberty
liberty with all your might,-Lell the people
I their rights are invaded,-but don't you tel
'em the law will destroy your business and
mine, for if you do the very drunkards will
turn against you,-carry bold front Soakum
hang out your banners,-send out your bills
buy more whisky, III reward you
Here Soakum WINGED again. He seemed
to think the reward would not be so desirable
MAY if please yonr Internal Mightiness" says
he, "I'd-I'd rather be excused"
At this Old Nick burst into terrible rage.
He stained with his hoof on the stove, his
tail lashed from side to side, and his eyes
famed like too red-hOt balls. STOPPING down
close to Soakum's ear, he spoke in hoarse
and threatening whisper. "None of your
backing out Soakum,-you're mine, body, soul
and boots.-I bought you and paid for you six
pence at a time,-you can't go up there
land with horrible scowl he glanced up
ward)-they don't sell whisky there,-none
of your customers will go there.-tkey all
come to my place, and you know Soakum. you
must go where your work goes Ha! Ha! HoI