The organ of the temperance reform. (Cincinnati, O. [Ohio]) 1852-1853, 1852-03-05
THE DANDY AND YANKEE; OR, FUN ON
THE "sIMPsON."

While the "Simpson" lay at our wharf last
trip, a queer-loOkIng biped might have been
seel vending his way towards the boat "tOte-
ing large hair-trunk under his arm. Let us
describe him.
His upper-story was topped with a coon skin
cap long uncombed sandy hair streaking out
from beneath it and falling around like flax over
a brake. His coat was built as il for single.
breasted vest, with a narrow rim running around
the neck, stiff as a shingle; then altered BY in
serEing sleeves shirt-fashior into the shoulders
the garment being buttoned up chuck" in
front with small brass buttons. Between the
lower part Of the aforementioned coat and the
trowsers was gap of about three inches, through
whicha dingy shirt puffed out like life-pFe-
server His pants was Of linsey. woolsey, the
larger part Of the cloth in the neighhorhOod Of
his hinder suspender buttons, the smaller guam
tity remaining growing smaller and smaller till
it reached some SIX inches from the red untan-
ned shoes that covered the pedal extremities, as
tight Fslnais rubteT garters. A tRlloW COM
plssdcned eountenanee, grey eyes, and on have
the man.
He walked up the plank Op theiboat, deposited
histrunk on a cotton bale crossed his hands be-
hiul, took general view Of things in general,
and noticing the engineer getting up steam
walked around to communicate with him.
1Guess this 'ere's 'mazin fast cIitter Of
yoan."
Sab" granted the engineer, not disposed to
enhrge his circle Of acquaintance by the.Ches
tefieldian mode
Never kicks eout ov the breechiu'"
| kHa."
Nor rars nor pitches, nor nothiu Of the soft -
| t'Bsh."
t.Well," old hoss, guess yeru'll never die
frtm wastin' yer breath, fur ye keep yer rusty
oIa mouth as close as an ister. Yer don't pre-
| ted to say this ere ugly lookin cOnsern can
rVh fast. Je.mi-ma, ef yeou'd d seen my broth
| eds wifes, uncle skeet, yer wouldn't think it
Yer see he run again time, and tew beat, he run
Cd gol alfred fast that his hair whipped and
chcked, so that when he cum eout at The eend Of
tile race, he was clean ball headed-faCt-bat
Chat warn't primin two what he did one mite
rsein with a ghost. -
| Here the engineer opened the safety. valve, in
close proximity to the coon skin, which suddenly
disappeared thus breaking the thread of the
ghost story its proprietor soon making his en-
tiance into the ladies cabin, which was only oc-
chpied by black chambsrmsid.
| "Gemmans cabin next door; no gemmaD
lowed in ere without ladies'" said the darky,
dnRry at the intrusion Of such looking man into
lhe cabin.
rAint gown tew teteh nothin, Jest wanted
10 examine the critter. WHAT them ART point
Ing to the old state rooms.
"For de ladies berfs, sar."
.'How many hevyer gOti"
Bout thirty, sah"
"Whars the wimsn iolks1''
"On de deck, sab.
Thirty births year, 'spoBe-what fine
pla,e fer doctor tew settle in--lots ov sickness
smonp 60 menny," soliloquized he while he
stusk his head into staterOOm to see the accom-
mo1atious. ga real narrer contracted, tucked
up Consarn, the folks upin our kentry wouldn't
live in sich tite, narrer contracted naberhoOd.
During this soliliquy the chambermaid opened
the door into the gentlemen's cabin.
"Sah, gemmens de like oh you amt lowed in
here tall, yer must go from here quicker dan
'mediately."
He saunted out Of the door, asking as it was
slammed shut in his face, if there was regular
doctor settled in that neighborhood, which in
terrOgatOry not receiving,a response, perambu-
lated the cabin with his hands crossed behind,
making observations and inquiries, much to the
amusement Of crowd Of passengers, and none
more so than that of double refined, patent
elastic. made to order (by a tailOr) dandy, who
with his little sickly goatee, and bigger sctlier
moustache, perfumed p-locks, standing shirt
collar, rising like two side boards, to fence in
the face, galvanized watch chain, wasp waist,
/ little heeled boots, and goose necked cane with
a puppy head on it, containing nearly as unch
brains as the head Of the owner-was cutting
quite swell, dem. ming everything for not be-
ing as he wished it, and disgusting every one
BY his elf-importance and senseless twaddle.
4 AT dinner, By chance, the dandy and Yankee
sat opposite each other at the table. After
Captain Bell had performed the usual ceremo-
ny Of ssking blessing the dandy threw him
self back on his dignity, and called out in .
pompons tone TO the waiter. at
"Yaw dem'd wAtaw, brwing me the suppor-
tab of 4 young female hen, fresh laid hegg,
and rub the bOchim Of me plate wath specha-
mine oG fruit vulgarly called an inion, which
will give to me dinnah delicate flavor"