The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1852-06-01

sThe treasures OF the deep arc mol SO prt cious
>, As the CONCEALED comforts Of q man
IA Lockd up in woman 8 love. ~
There arc two whole classes of society who
have done much special service TO the utter
| ers OF bon-mots and composers OF epigrams,
| that amid n dozen standing jokes either Joe
Miller or his successor. at least three fourths
will be found to be directed against authors
and women Unfortunately for the moaerh
race Of ways, both these established ana aoun
dant sources, which promised to afford such
an inexhaustablc supply of small wit. have now
become utterly dry and unavailable, Tor lew
Jokes can be good which involve contradlc-
| tion in terms of manifest untruth- As no point
would redeem an epigram which tended to
proye Aristidns knave, Lucreta wanton, or
| Washington poltroon, so wo can no longer
| tolerate bald and hackneyed jests upon the
novertv of authors and Grub street garreteers
when il is notorious that any man who can
| write decently is sure OF a remuneration whie
some have realized fortunes by their pen I'M
precedent in the literature or any other age or
nation. Still less can we endorse those trlle
and flippant attacks upon women, when nave
afforded sucl, poor pleasure to the profiigate
and soory ribalds of more lcentious ages; for
if our females have not yet attained that high
and equal station in society to which they are
assuredy destined, they have so far found their
rank and influence, and establish their capac-
,ty for the yery highest efforts of intellect, that
nnv attempt to revive the defunct jokes upon
thoi- inferiority would be reckoned, in every
enlighteded company, an evidence OF tho SUI
premest bad taste, or of the most agregious
ignorance. ErE a. ,.Al
With this cherished notion, so fertild in sup
plying materials to our wittols, has pershed
the aDplicability of all these subsidiary Jokes
upon their frivolity, vanity, love of dress ana
, lonuacousness. which have afforded sub]octs
10 sntirists and testers from the literary days
: of ancient Athens and Rome down to the pres
ent hour. II their love of finery and garullty
ever exceeded the same propensities IN men,''
was at least deviation from the ordinary laws
of nature: for it is remarkable that IN the
feathered and animal kingdom, the gaudies'
colors and loudest tongues arc invariably De
!, slowed unon the male The peacock and the
= centleman pheasant have all tho fine clothes
and all the proud Shutting to themselves; ano
. if we NAV draw anv fnether analogy from
> Lclass of creation which we so much resemble
!, in our organization. that man has been desig
y mated "teatherless biped," it is worthy OF OBJ
:, seryation that the hen bird invariably sits 81
: lentlv at home attending to her household du
: ties. while the dandyfying his plumage,, an'
chaitering, Growing and chirpngail dsy iohg
, So low does this rule extend in tho scale OF ex
!. lutes us from the Garth, like that which twit
70 ,ers from the air, comes from tho male grass
- homer only. This fact was known to the an
- clients. but instead of its leading them to dis:
trust from the analogy that runs through ia
ture's works. tho superior loquacity impute
rs N women. il furnishes Xenarchus, the conn
Of writer. with an additional jest at their expens
y by enabling him TO exelaim, "How happy al
~ the grasshoppers in having dumb wiyes!
Us WHIT nature never intended, however, a.
r. NAV unouestionably produce; and at tim
n when we educate our females to become pul
" nets. dolls and play things, there can be itt
~ wonder the result corresponded with the u
III tention. To keep any particular class III y
10 norance. rs an excuse for continuing tnem
nd bondage. Is very old cxpedient ofhuman pc
er lev. II pleases the Turks to have slaves
er' their seraglos instead of wives and they thei
fore begin with declaring that women ha'
ce' no souls,-an assertion which lhey DO the
'te hest 70 confirm by their mode eoftreatment;b
en- tho nractiee. like every other violation of n
ed ,nrc entails its own abundant punishmei
IN, since it compels them to exchange the deligh
ed of female society for the solitary toys OF che
ny ing opium and smoking tobacco.
as 1t was easv for the artist who had sign
on na;nt. 70 represent the man lording it over I
lion but. ms the beast Justly observes in the
De- ble "If lions were the painters, the ca
on, might be reversed Men who have for ma
en-, ages been writer's, have taken good care to
ma sert their superiority bycyery possible specl
ere Of attack and ridicule lcvellod against the "
es, men: and if the latter now that they are Ia
ack lv competing the palm and authorship W
cen their mail rivals, have nobly abstained fr'
ana every attempt at retaliation, what proof d'
ON il afford of their superior good taste ana g
erosity! What so easy as to launch the iig
EN- shafts of their raillery against our booD'
ure chatter. boxes und dandicsl What so natu
as that they should level thoir caustlc satire
painst our drunkards, gamesters, ana pro
Gates. and more especially, that they sho
stgmatise and expose our sneerng Dacnei'
who have themselves created that very class
Oh old maids which they pelt with heartless
o. 70 proaches and pitiful ribaldry? But no, our
ting male writer's have disdained the protiered
re- umph. as it determined to prove the superI
,ihR ~ of thcir hearts at the same moment that q
fAr fAr wore establishing the equality of their hes
rom IL ,nv one feel disposed to doubt their cap
icgs ty for achieving this victory lot him recol
Ia. that il may bo said of woman as was reeor
sue of Goldsmith, --"that from grave to gay. u
'sIse ., lively TO seveae' they have left imperlshi
; VIZ evidences of their intellectual power, tra'
my the light graces of the epistolary style they
de- confessedly our superiors, that tho most
!, 10 nassioned writer Of lyrical poetry, one OF
gen. ''soSS c,jast md most ORIGINAL thin
the OF 'i,e PIo'ounr ..D' r,TaJomo do Siael. have
eater oI ihouoi u s.'''o''
rest ooen wo"i0 H.. .ho
tions Nlalheroe says III MS ho'..ls, , corr,ad !,
Z to ator may nave rePeh'eu na'ins .,a,', ha,
- made woman most people of sound heads
good hearts (and they generally go togec''
-Tbe since virtue is onlyprac'ical wisdo'n,l vii
york- mite in opinion with Malherbe: and yet.
nro. glibly will scribblers, who must know the f
,t;no hood Of their accusations fall into this w
com. error of pouring fourth their stale fiIppar
! The AGAINST the SEX There is probably more
days impertlnence OF TINS so'' -, p,sonL;nd !
force or uttered by the wno'c VI -" :
nd in the trangresslon OF Evo uhor ,vo
saine Much may De ior =" %" :, ~ . '''. -. -