The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1852-05-01


dreds more than il could hold, with
thousands of admiring spectators that
went away without sight. This ey-
traordinary phenomenon of tragic eX-
ceIlenee! this star of Melpomene tsfJs
comet Of the stage! this.s of the. fig
mament of the muses. this moons Vt
blank verse this queen arch-princess
of tears! this Donnellau of thepoisonad
bowl! this empress OF the pistol and
dagger! this child of Shakespeare! this
world of weeping clouds! this Juno OF
commanding aspects! this Terpsichore
of the curtains and scenes! this Pros
perine Of fire and earthquake! tins
Katterfelto of wonders exceeded ex-
peciation. went beyond belief. and
SCARED above all the natural powers Of
description She was nature itself!-
She was the most exquisite work of
art! She was the very daisy, primrose,
tube-rose, sweet-briar, furZe-b blossom.
gilliflower. wallflower caulihower, au.
ricula. and rosemary! In short, she
was the bouquet of Parnassus! Whe e
expectation was raised so high, 1t was
thought she would be injured by her
appearance but it was the audience
who were injured Several fallted
before tie curtain drew upl But when
she came to the scene of parting With
her wedding ringi ah, what sight
was there, The tiddlers in the orehes-
ira. "albeit. unused to the melting
mood,n blubbered like hungry children
CRYING for their bread and butter! and
when the bell rang for music between
the acts, the tears ran from the bassoon
players eyes in such plentiful showeS,
that they choked the finger stops, and,
making spout Of the instrument, poi'r-
ed in such torrents on the first flddler's
book. that, not seeing the overture was
in two Sharps, the leader of the band
actually played in ore fat. But the
sobs and sighs of the groaning audi
ence. and the noise of corks drawn
from the smelling bottles, prevented
the mistakes between the fats and
sharps being discovered. One hundred
and nine ladies tainted fony-Slx went
into fits! and ninely-six had strong
Mysteries! The world will hardly credit
the truth, when they are told that four
teen children. five women, one hundred
tailors. and six common cohnclI-men
were actually drowned in the Inunda-
ton Of tears that flowed from the gal
Ieries, the slips and the boxes to M
crease the brinv pond in the pit! Tae
wafer was three feet deep, and the
people that were obliged TO stand upon
the benches, were in that position np
TO their ankles in tears!
Of advertisements there have beea
many worthy of preServation-some IN
account OF The Ingenuity displayed in
their composition; some in their wit ;
some for their domestic quality-matri-
monial offers, for example; and others
for the conceitedness exposed in them /;
the ignorance of the writers, OF the
whimsicality of the matter advertised.
In 1904 there was advertised, in an
English paper, for sale, The walk Of
deceased blind beggar fin charlta-
bic neighborhoodl, with his dog and
staff
In the St. James Chronicle, of l772.
was the following
Wanted - fifteen hundred or two
thousand pounds. by person not worth
groat: who having neither houses.
lands, annuities, or public funds. can
offer no other securities than that OF a
simple bond, bearing simple interest,
aud engaging the repayment of the
sum borrowed in five, six or seven
years, as may be agreed on by the
parties, &c.
We do not know whether the adj
vertiser obtained his pounds OF mol ;
but such an advertisement nowadays
would draw forth laugh much sooner
than the money, or if pounds came.
they would most probably fall upon
the recipients shoulders instead of into
his pocket,
We must not omit the Chinese in our
remarks. They are not behind the age
in this sort of business, if, as ii has
been stated, they are in many other
matters. The following is real Chi
nese advertisement
Acheu Tea Chincoeu, sculptor, re-
spectfully acquaints masters of ships.
trading from Canton to India. that they
may be furnished with tigure-heads,
any size according 10 order, at one
fourth Of the price charged in Europa
He also recommends for private ven-
ture the following idols. brass, gold and
silver: The hawk of Vishnoo, which
has reliefs of his incarnation in fish.
boar, lion and bull, as worshipped by
the pious followers OF Zoroaster; two
silver marmosets, with gold earrings; :;
aa aprimanes for Persian worship: a
ram, an alligator, crab, laughing
hyena. with a variety of household idols
on small scale, calculated for family
worship. Eighteen months credit will
be given, or discount of Is per cent
for prompt payment on the sum affixed
10 each article. Direct Canton street,
Canton, under the marble rhinoceros
and gilt hydra.