Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1852-08-18
NO USE FOE TROUSERS NOW.

NO USE FOE TROUSERS NOW.
On the morning Of the meteor shower, in
1888, old Peyton Roberts, who intended ma
king an carl y start to his work, got in the
midst of the display. On going to his door,
he saw. with amazement, the sky lighted up
with the falling meteors, and he concluded
at once that the world was on fire, and that
the day Of judgment had come.
He stood for moment gazing in speech.
less terror at the scene, and then, with yell
of horror, sprang out Of the door into the
yard right into the midst of the falling stars,
and here, in his efforts to dodge them, he
commenced a series of ground and lofty
tumblng that would have done honor to a
tight'ropc dancer. His wife being awakened
in the mean time, and seeing old Peyton
jumping and skipping about the yard, called
out to him to know
"What in the name oscnsc lie was doin'
out thar, daacin' around thar, without his
clothes on!'
But Peyton heard not The judgment
and the long black accounts he would have
to settle, made him needless of all terrestrial
things; and his wife, by this time, becoming
alarmed at lis strange behavior, sprang out
of bed, and running to the door, shrieked out
at the top Of her lungs
"Peyton! | say, Pcyton! what do you
mean, iuni:iu' about ont thar! Come in aud
put your trowsers on
Old Peyton, whose fears had now over
come him, family answered, as he fell spraw
ling upon the earth, "Oh Peggy, Peggy,
don't you see.e.c the worlds af.r.e
Thar amt no use for tro-ow-sers now"
Mn. TwoMRLEY's MIsrAKE-Mr. Thos.
Twombey had drank but six glasses Of
brandy and water, when, being a man Of
discretion, lie returned home at the seasona.
ble hour of | n. M, and went soberl y to bed.
Mrs Thomas Twombley was too well nc
customed to the comings and goings of said
Thomas, to be much disturbed with the
trilling noise he made on retiring; but when
she discovered that he had his boots on, she
requested him to remove them, or keep his
feet out of the bed.
My DEAR" said Mr.. Twombley, in an
apologelic tone, "skuse me! How | came
to forget the boots can't conceive, for ain
just as sober as ever was in my life"
Mr.. Twombley sat on the side Of the bed
and made ,seiIart to pull off his right hsct
The attempt was successful, though it
brought him to the floor. On rcgaining his
feet, MIR. Twomblcy thought he saw the
door open. As he was sure he shut the
door on coming in, he was astonished, and,
dark as it was in the room, he couldn't be
mistaken, he felt certain. Mr.. Twombley
staggered towards the door to close it, when
to his great surprise, he saw a figure ap.
proach from beyond. Twombley stopped !;
the figure stopped. Twombey advanced
again the figure did the same. Twombley
raised his right hand; the figure raised its
left.
"Who's thercl" roarcd Twomblcy, bo.
ginning to be frightened The object made
no reply. Twomblcy raised his boot in a
menacing attitude; the figure defcd him by
shaking similar object
"By the Hokcy," cried Twomhlcv, "rll
find ont who you be, you sneakin' kuss"
He hurled the boot full at the head OF the
mysterious object, whcn-crasll went the
big locking glass which Twomcley had
mistaken for the door Twomblcy has re-
formed since, and is an ardent advocate Of
Temperance Societies: but grows very
nervous when looking glasses are mentioned.
PADDY, attending q broad.brim conven-
ton for the first time, was much astonisied
and puzzled withal, at the manner Of wor-
ship Having been told that the better
brethren spake even as they were moved
by the Spirit" he watched the proceedings
with increasing disgust for their haythen
way of worship" till one young quaker
rose and commenced solcmnly:
Brethren, have married."
The devil you have!" interrupted Pat
Quaker sat down in confusion, but the spirit
moving further, the young man mustered
courage, and broke ground again.
Brethren, have married daughter Of
tho Lord
"Tlc devil, ye hav that" said Pat "but
i'll be long while before you'll see your
fathcr-in.lar."