Lynchburg Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1829-185?, 1852-01-22

| tomato Is neatly Drowned, and rs very
tolerable in this fashion. Here it is quite
popular. l have seen a small man cat
peck or more at a sittlng-in round quan
titles-then ttrn IN upon the raw. At
| Barnum's the colored waiter corrected my
English, when called for tomato. Tom,
quolh he, dubitatngly. Tomato Oh,
tomatusscs, YOU mean YES, said |, quite
modesily y--'ii must he tomntusses -
Thereupon with an indulgent smile he sup.
piled me Cor Charleston Ercn. Ncscs,
The following amusing sketch is from
book recently published entitled dream
Lie" by Ike Marvel;
BENEDICT, the Married MAN.
"Eou grow unusually amiablc and kind;
you are earnest in your search of friends;
you shake hands with your Office boy, as
II he We're your second cousin. You Joke
chccriully with the stout washcrwoman:
and give her a shilling ovcr-changc. and
insist upon her keeping it; and grow quite
merry at the recollection Of it, nou tap
your hackman on the shoulder very iami-
liarly, and tell him lie is capital fellow;
and don't allow him TO whip his horses ex
ccp, when driving TO the post-ohicc. You
even ask him TO take glass of beer with
you upon some chilly evening. You drink
10 the health Of his wife. lie says he ha.
no wiic:-whcrcupon you think him very
miserable man, and give him a dollar by
way of consolation.
Iou think all the editorials in the morn
ing papers are remarkably well writlcn,-
whether upon your side or upon the other.
You think the stock market has a very
cheerful look with Erie--of which you
are large hodcr--down 10 scventy.fve
You wonder why you never admired Mrs.
Hemans before or Stoddard, or any Of the
rest.
YOU give pleasant twirl to your fng
ers. as you sauntcr along the street; and
say-but not so loud as to be overheard
She is mine-shc is mine!
You wonder if Frank ever loved Nelly
one half as well as you love Madge? You
feel quite sure he never did. You can
hardly corrective how il is that Madge has
not been seized before now by scores of
cnamored men, and born of, like the Sa
binc women in Homish history. You
chuckle over your future, like boy who
has found guinea in cropping for sixpcn-
ccs. You read over the marriage service,
thinking Of the sine when you will take
her hand, and slip the ring upon her finger;
and repeat after the clergyman-'fo rich
cr--ior poorer; for bcltcr-for worse! a
great deal of worse there will be about
it, you thinkl
Through all, your heart clcavcs to that
sweet image Of the beloved Madgc, as
light cleavcs to day. The weeks leap
with bound; and the months only grow
long when you approach that day which
Is to make her yours. There are no flow.
ers rare enough 10 make boquets for her;
diamonds are too dim for her to wear;
pearls are tame.
- And after marriage, the weeks are
even shorter ,lan before: you wonder why
on earth all the single men in the world do
not rush unanimously to the altar, you
look upon them all, as travelled man
will look upon some conccitod Dutch
boor, who has never been beyond the lin.
its Of his cabbage garden. Married men,
on the contrary, you regard as iollow-voy
ayers; and look upon their wives-ugly as
they may be--as better than none.
You blush little at first telling youl
butcher what 'your wife would like: you
bargain with the grocer for sugars and
teas, and wonder If he knows You are o
married mani You practice your new
way oftak upon your office boy; you tel
him that your wife expects you home to
dinner, and arc astonishcd that he docs not
stare TO hear you say IT!
You wonder ilthc people in The omni
bus know that Madge and you are just
married; and if the driver knows that the
shilling you hand to BIN is for self and
wifel, You wonder .if any body was
ever so happy before, or ever viii be SO
happy ogaini
You enter your name upon the hotel
books as Clarence --- and lady, and
come back TO look at it--wondering ii
anybody else has noticed it-and thinking
that il looks remarkably well. You eau.
not help thinking that every third man
you meet in the hall wishes he possessed
your wife; nor do yon think it very sinful
in him TO wish Il. Won fear il is placing
temptation in the way Of coverons ncn, TO
put Madge's little cutters outside the cham
Der door at night.
Your home. when it is entercdt is jus,
what it should bc,-quict. smai,-with
everything she wishes, and nothing more
than she wishes. The sun strikes i, in the
happiest possible way;--thc piano is the
sweetest toned in the worlh;-lhe library
is stocked 10 a charm; Madge. tha
blessed wife, is there, adjoining and giving
life to it all. To think, even. Of her posi-
be death, is suffering you class with tn,
internal torures Of the inquisiiion Yo,
grow twain Of heart and purpose. Smile
seem made for marriage; and you wonde
how you ever wore them beiote!'
| PRvLEerD MEMBERS. correspond
cnt of the New York Independent. wri