The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1852-12-30
ANEcDoTE OF A HYPocoNDRIAc.

ANECDOTE OF A HfPOCONDhlAC.
| We were once acquainted with gen
tieman Of melancholy temperament, pos
sessing strong and unwavering principles,
but as obstinate as mule, when his mind
was made up, who became perfect mo-
nomauiac on the subject Of religion. lie
carried the matter 10 eytremes-somotimas
fancying himself John the Baptist ''crying
in The wllderness,' at other times getting
ap in the dead Of uight md aronslng bis
neighbors from their beds in order TO warn
Them Of tile wrath to come. Among many
fancies that took possession OF him, was
one that he must never indulge in laughter;
even smile became almost an unpardon
able offence. He might pray until he made
himself hoarse-he might weep unit! be
could swim 10 his own tears-but he must
smie never! The reason he assigned for
this singular fancy was that there was nc
recorded instance in the New Testament
in which Jesus Christ was repnted to have
Iindulged in even smile, and it was bis
aim 10 live in all respects as nearly like
him as possible. 1t was impossible 70 laugh
Or reason him out Of this conceit. 10 the
former argument he replied with stern re-
| Dukes. and To the latter with bis invarlable
| answer, aShow me one instance IN the
Bible" Ills health began to fail, and he
was evidently fas, basteping to bis grave.
when he fell into ands of skillul phvsl
eisn who happily understood his disease.
lie was comical old fellow, and endoav-
ored in every way TO conquer this obstinate
ielusion. But he found that all his medl
cine was Intellectual, and was about to give
him I'd to his fate. One morning, howev-
er. as he was passing the house, a thought
struck bin. Dlsmounting his horse, be
walked with more than his usual gravity
through the ward until be stood within
few feet Of his patient, who, sitting on
two-legged stool, was engaged IN milking
Eayorite COW. His face was as long as
ever, but his sombre and stern gravity
could not exceed that OF the doctor, who,
without replying to his salltatlon, conIn-
ued for few moments to gaze upon HIM
| in silence. AT length he said-"l am as
topished, sir. at what see! That man
Of your principles -one so strict and an
compromi,ing usually, and so careful ~
! flIfi!ipg the strictest letter Of the law
should so far forget himself! repeat it.
sir, am astonishedm His auditor looked
at him with blank surprise, unable 10 ina
zine what heinous offence he was charged
with. but the doctor bore The scrutiny with.
ou. moving muscle. Approaching step
or two nearer, and looking him fall IN the
eve. he asked him with the utmost serious
ness--s.where do you read ia the Bible oi
Jesus Christ ever having MIXED cowG'
| It took about thirty seconds for this joke to
get through our friends brain, and then
away went the pail Of milk in one direc
lion, the two-legged stool 10 another, and
the COW in third, while he himself rolled
on the ground in perfect ecstacy OF laugh
ter, which lasted until he was entirely ey-
hausted. The whole fountain OF MS dell-
sion was broken up-from that moment ne
became sane man. and he is new hap
ov and successful clergyman. That one
| fit Of laughing saved him
INDIAN MARRIAGE PRoMIsE.-A young
Indian failed in his intentions to young
suuaw. She made complaint to an old
chief, who appointed a hearing or trial
The ady laid the cause before the Judge,
and explained the nature of the promise
made 10 her. Ii consisted of sundry visits
TO her wigwam, 'many llile nndetinable
attentions,' and presents, bunch Of teath-
ers, and several yards fred tlannel. This
was the charge. The faithless swain, de
MED the sundefnable attentions in toto
He hid visited her fathers wigwam for the
purpose ofpassing away time, when It was
not convenient to hunt; and had given the
feathers aad hanne! from friendly motives,
and nothing further. During The latter
part Of the defence the squaw fainted.--
The plea was considered invalid. and the
offender sentenced to give the lady vel!
low feather. breach that was then dang
ling from his nose, and dozen coon skins.
| The sentence was no sooner concluded.
Than the squaw sprang upon her feet, and
clappiup her hands exclaimed with jov,
Now me ready to be courted again.'-Er.
change paper.
How unsophistcated that maiden! She
uttered with her lips what the pale-face
girl would only have dared breathe in her
heart. Human nature is much the same,
whether with the un,utored savage or en-
lightened American.
AFRICAN. ARITHMETIC. Some one gives
tisf fr2-