The organ of the temperance reform. (Cincinnati, O. [Ohio]) 1852-1853, 1852-01-30

l1cldent which has Just been related to us. Sit.
Ups at the sanctum- table, silent and alone. we
hFard him crap" although he was far away Al
tte moment; and this his spiritual knocking:''
| Ne dono when our feelinks was so hurt. Yet
! was l OF those things in which nobody was to
blamed like steamboat accidents. 1t couldn't
helped. 1t took place at the wrong time II
fd, and we were sorry for it. We would ba'
fther it should'n have occurred, although at
hy other time it might have been very pleas.
hE but just then out of place, we was 50 SOL
epn. II any one was to blame, it was a blame
hnkee; yet he wasn't present; be was dead
himself, and in his grave twenty years. How
tlen could he be guilty Of disturbin the funer-
raf Ef the dead won't have sympathy for
tHe dead, who wills However, he did it, He
sgt all tbs people a-laughin' at funeral twenty
years arter his own funeral; arter his tomb stone
had been carved and his epitaph wrote. Ef he
could have seen it, he would have snickered in
the sleeves Of his shroud. He couldn't have
Helped it. The minister Of the parish was cut
short, lost all dignity all sOlemnity, all propri
ETY.. Hs got all the folks up to the cryin' pint;
and then he laughed right out. All the risibles
in the room excited, and even the mourners look
edqueer, They didn't know what to do. They
put the cambria handkerchiefs which they
59ught for their eyes, up to their months, ram
med them in till they pretty nigh Choked.-
Ibis was all owing to the confounded Yankee.
ofwhom nOthink on earth but his skeleton re-
malned. he was manufacturer, but the kind
OF fabric which he made usually makes man
feel solemn, brings up religious thoughts, aud,
least OF all, would make one laugh at a funeral.
/ He Wna plnrk nuka ror,, ,,oo5 800
HisclOcks KEEP eXc6llent time. Set em by the
sun, and they'd go by the sun, only when the
tuR run down they KEEP on ticking and striking;
and this clock was wound up once-t week.
lBut this was more ingenious Yankee than most
Yankees, and if he had only been content with
spehtas that clock 70 and making It 20 right.
na Mischief done. 1t was at Mrs. Townsend {
fu1sal, who died of the epoplectic, and the
company was all present, and the minister was
in tie middle Of his discourse, most searchin'
onb, remindin' his hearers that in time they
wbre to prepare for eternity, and to take warn
ing by the example of humanity now before
| tIem She was gone from our midst, it was
the, like a shock of wheat fully ripe. Just
then, as ii to add solemnity to the sentiment,
tie clock struck, and he told them by the very.
striking of that clock to take warning of the
fight Of time. Every time that the clock
truck, it told Of another hour glided from time
hto the ocean Of eternity. Every time it tick
ID. another second of our life was gone. The
dock struck twelve, and if that was all, no
BARN done; but Immediately hizzing sound
hsued, and by the ingenuity Of that dead Yam
lee, it Immediately played, with all the glibness
f hand-organ, or a musical snuff box Yam
Ess Doodle, with variationsl 1t was most sur
prism p
A representative in Congress from the inte-
kor of this State, meeting a brother member
fiom Virginia, Immediately after his arrival in
the Federal city, day or two before the meet
ing Of the present Congress, in answer to an in
quiry from the gentleman from the cold Do
minon," the former remarked that he had eel
ebra5ed Thanksgiving Day with some friends in
this metropolis.
"We have no Thanksgiving in our State, re-
sponded the Virginian, with something of
chuckle.
6. suppose" retorted the New Yorker, "that
is owing to the fact that you have nothing to be
Thankful for"
"No, sir, you are out there" reioined the
party of the second part ardent as Southern
sun could make MIN; ''the reason, sir, that we
have no Thanksgiving in Virginia is, that there
is no provision made for it in the Constitution
Of the State, and it is nowhere recognized in the
Resolutions Of 9Sl"
Right! That is our doctrine. Hurrah for
the principles of Ninety -eight"-"and long
may they wavel"
< half witted rustic at the West, being
brought to trial for having, with malice pro-
rtnse, destroyed several pigs belonging to
bsighbor, offered, as his defence, that they had
keen roofing up his garden for week, and ne
Mad used all possible means to drive them out,
but the "blasted critters" had such big knots in
their tails, they couldn't get through the fence
cracks otherwise, "syery pig would have gone
through the devil as If the fence was arter himl'
An Irish girl hereabout in Gotham, who plum
ed herself upon being employed in ''genteel
family" was asked definition Of the term
"Where they have two or three kinds of wine,
and the gentleman swearsl" was the highly sat
isfactory reply
GA duCat to beggarly denier" that the work
thus announced in the London Atheneum, is
by that cleverest Of modern humorous satirists,
Thackeray:
aOn the first Of November, 1851, will be
published part L.; to be continued monthly,
price one shilling each, "TAe Shabby Fammer-
iy; or, how the Stuck-ups who was "Nobody,
struggled to bo Somebody" Exposed by EN-
merly Tiddvate, late Z" Fam de Sham" to the
Fammerly, thong really and truly were no.
thlnk but common house maid, and worked
off my legs. Miss 3. Tiddivate in making her
first deJ&tt before generous British public,
bopes the cautious reader will look upon her
autograpby with an indulgent i, as E. 7. is en-
tirely self-learnt, aud was never brought up to
whseld pen but really feel it my duty to
propagate all the mean artifuges and paltry
subtsrfices my late missus (who axually wanted
to be mistook for some Of the Ope t0Ng) was
guilty Of, as pursessed the entire confidence
Of both the young ladies, and their mar into
the bargain likewise, which told them they'd
suffer for, when they refused to pay me for my
month, as was my doc, 30 mean to hold them
up to public reticule once month, which / have
nothink but right to in this land Of liberties,
and with that intention l have kept dairy ev-