Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1852-03-18
LOVE AND BULL DOGS.


They do say that gals is leetle con-
trary, but faint so. They may act lee.
tie bauky sometimes, but then ar.er all
they like feller well enuf. Taint gal
fashion to tell ont right off. they're a
sort O. turkey buzzard, they'll peck a.
round for spell, then all to onst they'll
right up. AN nab feller. I've had con-
siderable 'sperience in that line, and
know leeile 'suthin' bout il. Now
I've courted darn many gals in my
life, an perhaps more. The fust gal
that ever went to see was Nancy Hewi
it. Sweet sissily! she was a scrouger.
La feller should see her once he'd melt
sure. There was suthin' scrums,hus
boat that gal, that made me love her
MORN | could pick up chips in, week.
Many an many IS, the time I've took that
gal TO mcetin'. All the other fellers
would look at US, as tho they would like
to mix in, but 'twant to be. did! | swan
to man if ever ketched feller wink
in at my gal, I'd knock him blue'rn Il
Jaw bird. One Sunday that gal asked
me to come and see her. when the old
folks warn'i to hum. Jehu! PG go if
Belzybnb stood in the door. Sunday
come, an | put on my best rig, rubbed
bout round o taller candles an a
quart o. goose greese in my hair, an off
[ started, whisiin, Yankee Doodle, an
prouder than; Old Zack Tayl lor a, Bony
Visty. got thar an thar warn't soul
a, hum, 'cept Ike, her lille brother
Well | warn't to be skeered by trundle-
bed trash. so took up chur, an sot
down bout rod from Nance, felt all
over queerish as hen with her head off.
She looked at me an blushed so that
The grease run down my back in per-
feet stream. We sot thar bout a 'nour
'shout sayin' word. By-an by she
broke out: ~ &, i @
"Is there any news up your way'
says she. r
mo" says I, s'not as knows on
Oh! ah, yes, Suke Wake6eld's got mar
ried, an run Off with the teaspoons an
a pot O. plua sass"
"Aay thing else9" says she.
"Yes," says |. sa9 fea,
~ w lidts say SiiSs B
"Why one o. our rnalte-kitiens got
her headi in the lasses cup, an when we
took her out, one of the young 'uas got
hold on her AN licked her TO DEATH"
o. ,"Any thin else!' says she.
81 believe not" saysl.
'sW ont you SET up nearer the fret"
says she. f i
s. IL don't care if / do, says |.
So hitched up closer. She com
menced alailin. Trowsers an cof-cai
day! | couldn't stand it no longer, so
i jist up an gin hera kiss-7-maple molas-.
ses! if a feller could only spread sich
things on a chunk o short cake.
AFTER while the old folks come hum
an axcd me to stay to supper so | staid..
Well, to cut long yarn short, conclrd-
ed to stay all night. SO arter t2lkin'
with the old man spell bout haryestin'
an the like. bid all hands good night
, an started for roost. Twas way up in
the cock-lo whar could look shro' the
rafters and see the stars. So arter skar-
en- couple o cats off o the ruff tlia.
was mewin', l luffed into my nest, an"
twarnt long afor was snorin' Ike
roach. slept all night till nigh mornin',
when heard the darndest racket that ev-
er was, SO tho, I'd just git up an take
a survey, an' see what on airth was the
matter. Jes: as was gitin' QUITO red,
my shirt some how or other got over
the bed post, the head-board come out. |
slipt an fell head downwards. tho't o. :
Captain Kidd, Absylom, an all other
Unfortunate beins what hung, bur, they
had consolation what hadn't got--they
hung right end up. begun to say the
Lords prayer as loud asI could holler,.
when heered tIia, gaul darn noise again..
an looked crippled creashnn an Tom
Walker! whea think ont It's enuff TO
make me kick my old grandaddy from
here to kingdom come, an from there to
the salt works. hope MAJ be scorch-
ed ifthar want the old mans Newfound.
land bull dogs had my trowsers in ,Heif
Jaws. one holt O. one leg, an ,hesother
pullin' on 'em. and tearin' EN- oil up
the cro,ch--new satinetts, cost me twen-
ty York shillins-its fact! What did
| do then! you'll ask. Why Twas ihnn-
derstruck with the cussed dogs impu-
dence, so jest concluded to come down.
| gin one jirk and down leone fiat on
the floor, 'thout darn'd rag on me 'cept-
in sleeve o. my shirt, the rest hung to
the bed post. Arter Use down, |, dars-
ent go near the dogs for Use afeerd they'd
put their. dental arrangements in my run-
ming beams. The next mint heerd the
old man comm up stairs with the pitch
fork, thinkin' there was robbers or in
dromedery trvin' TO set fire to the house.
so / iifo't twas time to marvel. l eyed
them are cusseG brutes an then.
with Tarauins ravishin strides towards
his designs Imoved like a ghost.p
grabs a sheet, raps IT around me. jumps
out'n tew story winder. on TO shed,
an from thar to the ground. an skeeied
quieker'Ha streak o. lightnin' thro' a
pertater patch.
Inever went to see Nance arter that.
In conclusion ! would say to all fellers