Southern standard., 1852-11-06
Tyranny Cf the Pettic0atS.
BY FANNY FERN.

owe males swagger and talk of our superiority,
but only the savage has practical dominion oyer
the weaker SEX" simply because he bangs lis
refractory female in lordy stylel We don't bes!
our women, and are, therefore, slaves; we are
forced to knock under, because we have flsidur
notions of knocking them down This may be +
quite correct; | only state the fact without CON.
mentary. Unbeaten woman is tyrant. 4 little
blond creature with fair eyes, fragile figure whom
you could crush in your manly grasp. somehow
ether you find yourself trembling before her, IS
before crowned poteutate. She bends yOa to
her purpose, to her caprices; i! YOU quail not be
fore her anger, she rushes into mysteries! What
is helpless, and above all clubless, man 10 do?-
Be meek and ac4aescent.''
Of course; no other way, my dear sir, if you
want your shirts made to suit you, your Old pants
resurrec.ionzed your dinner kept hot, or any 9th,
er little accommodation, (whcn you are in hurry
and can't stop TO discuss matters "CIuJes
man! l Ike that; L d ike TO know if they don't
alscays resortt ARMS when hey intend to sub
due US? perely ask for information. as l am
an old maid myself! now tLere is TO use in tryiGs
to DRIVE any OF the female gender. (.'I'm ore
of the sisters, and feel myself qualified 10 take
the fioor,'' Mr. Chairman J There's no neces-
sity of making such bungling piece OF work Of
matrimcny. Were | man, I'de engage to nlau-
age any wife YOU can bring along (Betwecn YOU
and me, | should keep the bits and rtinS out Of
sight!) but I'd do a ! She should be as doci.e
as a kitten, and believe herself master of tie
house, too! Oh, pooh You don't understand the
philosophy of the thng-'tisn't every man that
has a call to be a husband
/ Doyou suppose If you feed and clothe woman
and keep her warm, that's the end of the chapter?
! Pshaw imagin me to be TOM Fern! When
| come home from the Office, | should take MI
cIoscopic view of my dear Fanny's face, to see
which way the wind blew. Ii she looked dull,
from the THOUSAND petty annoyances of house.
keeping, l should just put my arms around her
blessed little neck, (never minding collars and
Ilxins,) and tell her l didn't care a damaged Sc
gar whether1 had my favorite pudding moi, II
she only lOUed me. Wouldn't she brighten upr
hey? Do you suppose I'd 60 staving up and
down the room like hyena, and knock over heT
werk basket, and tread on the baby, and break the
bell wire, and scowl till looked like one of those
'gutta pefcha' phizes ? No, sir Then I'd kiss
her and tell her to keep up her spirits till l came
home at night, and we'd have an early tea and
hear Tommy say his PRAYERS, and 90 to well
1 DARsEN'T sag it; but I'd TAKE her there!
Well, sir, the consequence would be she would
see was the same fascinating Tom who begged
her on my marrow-bones on moonlight evenings,
''to make me happiest of men, and there isn't
one woman in a thousand (treated that way that
wouldn't love till you were as happy as any
in molasses cup! AS to meek man, defend
me from Bettys or corduroys I'd prefer to en-
dure the banging Of refractory female = IA
rather be UNDER a tyrdnt than OVER Noses r
Olive Branch