Loudon free press. (Loudon, Tenn.) 1852-1855, 1852-11-13
Ben. JOnsing in New Orleans.
HE GOES TO A soIREE.

he OOEo ~ Il SO1kEE.
Ny Dear M. Edtor:-I haint writ You in so
long time, l spose you materially have conclu-
ded Ben Jonsing are no more L had thought
| had writ my last, but when got to this ever
lastin big town, and seed so many new things, |
have Just concluded to shell you out a few of the
many things that have damned and crambed
my head as chock full of oddities, as You ever
seed boy of ten years have his pockets full of
strings, tops, marbles, and old leather.
Ever since | have been in New Orleans, |
have had my eyes open as wide as a wolftrap;
howsomever, it did not keep me from being run
agin some two or three times by them consumed
long tailed two wheeled carts they haul cotton
in; spinnin, my shoes in the puddle and runnin'
smack into the blessed arms of some three or
four good looking gals, whilst was walin very
slowly along the road, tryin to spell out the pic
ture signs. | was about to poogize to the gals,
but some of the fellers from Sleepy Hollar said
it warnt nothin to be pologizin about that the
same accident always happens to fellers as soon
as they get to going about this town. The fact
is | am sorter inclined to believe that this is the
city of sisterly love- and if you had been where
Twas luther night you would have thought so
too.
You see my commission merchant is a very
clever Teller, and asked me if l did not want to
90 to a sorry You see, thought as how it was
a sort of funeral and said mo- was in too good
humor to be sorry. He seed my mistake, and
'splained to me that it was frolic where they
had musick and dansin.' Oh if that is it I'll
90, but it is a mOnsus quare name for trohc'
Put on your best Clothes says he, and l will
call arter you tonight
Soon after supper | shaved as smooth as an
Ingun, put considerable of the slick on my head,
had the upper end of my shirt as stiff as the
side board of cotton wagon, jacket as white
as snow, and shoes as black and shiny as mig
gers face.
1t was my impression, that looked to be
considerable Pumpkins, and haint felt as big
before since the day took my bOnny Kate for
better or wus. Thus tricked out, went to the
Han, where the sorry was to be seen. was
tolerable green bout these things, but made ou3
it was all as natural as gourd vine, for seed a
heap of green fellers in the city putin on big
airs
When we got to the place, we fonud great
large room, as big as a house, lighted up with
Smashin' big lamps, covered all over with glass
hangings The ladies looked as nice as little
angels, their faces as white as if they had dip
ped em into -four barrel; such red cheeks as
hant seen in Sleepy HOller their arms all COW
cred with gold bands, chains, and shiny beads;
such lips you never did see; they looked come
kiss me- all over-their eyes looked like dia-
monds, their waists were drawn to the size of
pipe stem, and made them look like they were
undergoin' regular cuttin in two operation, by
twin string tight round EN-; and their thin
bosoms, oh, lordlyl all covered up in laces and
muslin, they rose again, like, oh! | don't know
what it was like, exceptin the breathen' of
snowy white goose chucked in tight bag, with
its breast Just out.
After the gals and youngsters had walked
round, and round for considerable spell, the
music struck up; and such musick-it was big
horn and little horn, big flute and little
flute, a big fiddle and a little fddle-and such
squakin' squallin' belowin' and groanin' l never
hurd before, it was like all the cats, pigs and
frogs in cristendom had concluded to sing to-
gether. They called it a german Poker l
spose it was made by some of them Cincinnati
Germans, in imitation of the squallin at a Pork
packery, and guess it was pretty good lmita-
ton.
So soon as the music struck up, such a sight.
The felers Just cotch the gals right round the
waist with both hands, and pulled 'em smack up
in kissin order, with the gals bosoms agin their
bosoms and the gals chins Resin on the fellers'
shoulders. At this the gals begin to sorter jump
and caper like they were agOin' to push EN-
away; but the ellers just caught hold of the 9th
er hand and held it off, and begun to jump and
caper too, Just like the gals.
l swon upon a stack Of bibles, you never seed
such sight There was some two dozen gals
held tight in the arms of them fellers-they
a rarring' and iumpin' and pushin' 'em back
wards over the room, las thought tryin to get
away and the fellers holdin' on to 'em tighter
andtighter-the more the gals jumped and capered
the tighter they squeezed the gals, till at last
began to think the thing was bein carried too
far for fun. | was little green in these matters,
and SEEM the gals tryin' harder and harder to
get away, as l thought; and the fellers holdin.
tighter and tighter it is very material should
take the part ofthe gals. So my dander kept rs
in higher and higher till / thought my bller
would bust unless | let out the steam, bounced
smack into the middle of the room.
Thunder and ightnin'-every body come
here with shotgun, five shooters, and butcher
knivesr bawled at the top of my voice, for VIII
be shot if any dod blasted, long-bearded, mon
key-faced Teller shall impose on gals IN that way
where | ami and was just agoin' to pitch INTO
'em promiscuousy, when my merchant caught
me by the arm, and said, Stop Ben.'-TIl be
cussed,' saws l. If | will see the wimin folks i'm
posed upon Look what the felers are dola',
and how hard the gals are rarin' and ptchen' to
get away from EN-. Do you spose l can stand
still as a mill post, and see the gals suffer So
Look says l. there is gal almost broken down,
and ready to give up to that orangOtang OF
feller Yonder is another, so faint her head has
fallen on the bosom of that monsterr tell you
1 was ashy. l felt like l could jump EN- like
catamount into pig-pen.
When looked into my merchants face,
thought he would have bursted. He Taft and,
laft and squatted down and Taft. Why said
he, Ben, that is nothing but the red war waltz,
they are dancin, and them gals amt tryin' to get
away from them fellers, they are only caperln
to make the fellers hold em tighter, kase they
like it. The more the gal capers, the better they
like it. AS to layin' their heads on the fellers
busom, that S very common in the city, They
expect to be married some of these days, and
they want to be accustomed to it, so they wont
be blushin' and turnin' pale when the Parson
tells the groom to salute the bride. There is
nothin' like bein' use to such things
You may take my hat says l. to my merchant,
II was tux in that time tell you though, it is
the first time l seed the like before. have seen
the Iniun hug and the Congo dance, but tell
you this red war waltz knocks the hat crown
out of every thing ever seed.
AFTER l had got out of the way and every
thing commenced goin on again, the music got
faster and faster, OH it was fast and as turi-
Gus as nor'wester. The gals reared agin, the
fellers Rugged tighter, and the music makers
L eli