Fremont weekly freeman. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1850-1853, 1852-01-10
From the Boston Carpet Bag.
The Man who knew every thing.
like a Whale. Shaks.


mighty knowing man was Caleb Page.
who kept the grocery at the forks of the road,
near Woodchuek creek, Scrag hollow. in the
village of Hornville. No occurrence had ever
taken place, of all the particulars Of which
Caleb did not possess a thorough knowledge,
in the minutest detail All matters in the
prospective were anticipated, discussed, arran-
ged and satisfactorily disposed Of by Caleb
long before they took place. If neighbor
rushed into the store TO communicate what he
believed to be very recent piece of news, he
would have the conceit taken out of him by
being told by Caleb, that he had heard of it a
week ago. Events of the past, present and
future were all the same to him; his ubiquit-
Gus knowledge grasped and coveted them all
to him they were all stale news
A small bet was made one evening, be-
tween ST Stephens and Joe Stubbins, Sibet
that Joe couldn't nonplus Caleb with any
piece of intelligence, real or imaginary. Joe
took all such bets as that The following
evening, 81, and Joe. accompanied by two or
three more of the boys of the village. who
were to help the thing along, and 6ll in, pro-
ceeded to Caleb's store. After being com
fortably seated here and there, on barrels,
boxes, etc. 81 opened the evenings amuse-
ment, by asking, in manner that indicated
he was continuing conversation commenced
before they entered the store
SO you say, Joe, that they caught him last
night?'
Yes sir, about seventeen minutes a-pasi
eight
We'll, Joe, how far up the creek was it?'
'On careful consideration, should say il
was about three miles and quarter, or per
haps half, up the said creek
Caleb, who had lost not a single word o
the conversation, dropped his sugar scoop will
astonishment. and opened his ears. for tn.
boys were talking about a matter in which ht
was not posted up The conversation con
! tinued-,
'Well.' says ST. that couldn't a-beeu fal
from Deacon Hunts p .se.,.zse
Just so,' answered Joe; 1T was about eigh
ty rods from Deacon Hunts hog-peR. in 4
slance-wise direction
Did you hear, Joe,' asked 81, with face
as solid as grave stone, how much lie they
got?' ..-...s s..
Yes, did, replied Joe, with another face
as solemn as two grave stones; 4 hearn tel
they got nigh upon sixty bar'ls of ile'
The wags observed that Caleb was getting
exceedingly uneasy, and piled it on.
We'll, Joseph, how long was the reptile .
We'll, Silas the insect was about eighty
two feet long, and twenty eight feet, odd in
ches, broad, and thick in proportion
4 thought. Joe, that there was two on 'em.
That's fact there was pair of 'em. bu
they only caught the he one,
Al this point in the dialogue, Caleb becam'
so desperately excited that he could contain
himself no longer. and snappishly demanded
to know, what in thunder they were talking
about?'
why. said Joe with well feigned aston
ishment, 'don'tyou know about their catching
that are
That are what p peevishly snarled Caleb
why. that are pkale,' seriously answered
Joe Stebbins.
"A DkaIe! exclaimed the bewildered Caleb
have they caught whale up the creekS
And how much lie did they get p inquired
Caleb, as he recovered his wits.
'Ninety-two bar'ls,' replied Joe. forgettin:
the amount he had previously mentioned.
'Wel.' said Caleb, with slow delberation
and satisfied look, Il am glad they cassgh
tiot ,chaLs, for heard they 0ers arter him!
Joe paid the bet