New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1852-03-25
Life of Napoleon in Quarter of an Hour

About ten years ago, the following burlesque
Partisan theatre, by Il clever actor in the char
acter of an old soldier of the empire. 1t suffers,
Of course. by translation, and still more by
being only read, while the briskness. abrupt
ness, and slang style of the veteran are unex-
hbited. 1t is, nevertheless worthy of appearing
even under the disadvantage of an English dress.
We present it as apropos to the present attempt
of Napoleon the Little to enact the part of Ma
poleon the Great:
| Silence! and you shall hear all about Napo-
| leon-a famous individual, born in Corsica a
little tail Of country, not two doors from the
sea, where the natives have a fatiguing habit of
| assassinating each other, from father to SON.
His parents put him to the military school-full
of talents-with little three -cornered hat, and
his hands behind his back, initiating already
his portrait. He worked so hard that his eyes
were hollow, and his face, save your presence,
the color of nankeen breeches. When the mas
ters of the school saw this, they said ss There's
a youth who has Il real taste for the artillery -
Presently, having, pushed his way to very
young age, behold him General very thin,
but with long hair-ah, such long hair, to be
sure! The government of that epoch which
was composed of five individuals, adorned with
feathers, sent for him, and said, ''Now, then,
my good little man, you see the thing is this
you must start for Italy, where the Austrians
| are playing the deuce at forty sous head, and
give them such q shove that the devil would
take arms for it, When he heard all that,
says he with funny hair and yellow face
''Agreed-say no moreP' and away to Italy
the country of vermicelli, and fiddle-strings
He crossed st. Bernard--a great mountain, very
high three times Montmartre, where there is Il
famous hospice kept by the monks Here are
poodle-dogs, charged by the government to go
| and scrape for individuals under the snow. 1t
| is great philanthropy, that same on the part
of these poodles For my part | have no talent
| in that way : | was bred to the business small
enough one must be caught young for that ere
profession.
| Once in Italy, he did serve out to the Austri-
ans such Il pounding and returned to Paris
with millions of thousands of colors and glories
to fill the Invalides. Stop bit-our little
friends off for Egypt. All ye gods, big and
little, my good friends-a nasty territory that
Egypt $50 said my cousin Baptise, drummer
OF the 97th now getting on with a wooden leg }
a country of 100 degrees of heat in the middle
of winter, and nothing to drink but fine sand
| fine, fine, fine sand-and crocodles walking
about like good citizens, and swallowing up
Christians with their arms and baggage-ac-
| cording to the botanists! Oh dear-a me- there
are neither inns nor straw in nature! and then
the old broken pillars, past service, and huge
vagabonds of sugar-loaves all in stone, where
them there folks keep their kings, fresh, which
| is u great satisfaction in that country, ena
melcd all over with camels and dromedaries
| 1t was then that the Mamelukes had the plea
sure---that is, all that were not so unlucky as
to catch Il cannon ball---to be drowned pro
visionally in the Nile, Napoleon, who was then
Bouaparte only, when he saw the grand infusion
! of Mamelukes, said, Is it not delciousi
Back he comes to France, leaving behind him
one General Kleber, who found himself assassin
atcd one day by villain thereabouts, who was
requested to be seated on bayonet, which is the
way they guillotine individuals among the Ma
hommedans Then Napoleon married his wife,
a beautiful woman---very beautiful---full OF
good qualities, and much sweetness--all along
Of having been born in Martinique, the country,
you know, of sugar canes.
| Next you have him again at the enemy. bang
ing away at Elau, Friedland, Austerlitz. The
devils in the little man-what a country dance
and what rascals the vaaquished all foreigners.
and all speaking German! For my part can
not comprehend how they manage to understand
eaoh other. Says Napoleon one day, all to him
self saws he. GO Let me think now little mo-
ment-ifI should happen to die, who's to take
the reins of government? | am very sorry, be
cause as how you see, Josephine is my wife, and
l have the highest consideration for her; but
mon Dieu mon Dieu the empress is so well OF
that she never can make me the least in the
world a present of a small king of Rome, NJ,
position is of extreme triviality." Well, off h,
goes to the emperor Of Austria, who had a long
queue, and said to him, '' The public demands
that have one of your daughters, with whom
| am much taken; no matter which" The en-
peror of Austria, thinking him a good looking
chap, with good place, gave him his daughter
entirely.
In ii quarter of an hour Napoleon went tt
take walk in Russia with eight hundred thou
sand clever lads but he met such a thief-hk
cold cold that froze the very fire. and whicl
was only a little warmed by the burning Q
Moscow. After burning their town from top t
bottom, the enemy somehow or other contriye'