The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1852-08-06
DON'TLAUGH.


ordinary cachination, and never got over il
till he gotwell, and he liked never to have got
that even. What's the use of laughings-
There isn't any sunshine nor moonshint
worth speaking of in this world. they're all
mixed up with storms and east winds.
Don't laugh;you know not that all creation
is in trouble; you know not that this is good
for nothing catch-penny World, full of people
that cannot be trusted, and you may break
your heart before any body'll love you for
nothing but yourself Don't laugh; it makes
/ you interesting. What does a man look like
with great aperture like halfmoon in his
face, minus eyes, all mouth and ears, la dom
key! On the contrary, look at your melan-
cbolly people; ar'nt their countehances
stamped with expression! Couldn't you
always pity 'em and feel sort of sad whene-
yer you're near them!
Well that's sympathy, and you'll never get
it if you laugh, never. You may shake your
head, but don't shake your sides; and remem-
Der constantly that there are snakes and toads,
and lizards and "lepers, and all sorts of poi
sonous reptials," as an old lady once signif-
cantly saiG, let alone lions and grasshoppers
Try to think of all your pains and perpexi-
ties; if you havn't got any, that will soon
bring them on; always keep on hand an ejscu.
latory string Of obs! and abs. and dear mes
and unutterable groans made utterabe and
make insignificant faces awfully significant
by frowns and wrinkles; that's the way to be
interesting.
Nothing is so vulgar as n round face; rosy
checks are countryfed, and the simplest way
to get rid of them is not to laugh. Eat
states by the cord; drink vinegar by the bar
rel full; live in a pickle tub and consume
chalk by the "pecc," but don't laugh on the
penalty of a long life and constitution alb
surdly strong. Don't get up till noon, you
won't be tempted to laugh after that time
If the cook smiles, dismiss her; if the hus.
band has n merry mood, 60 into Mysteries;
nothing will sober him quicker. Make no
exertion to talk; modulate your voice to an
exceedingly "light guitar" In thunder
storm, believe that every clap will break on
your devoted house, and scream at every
flash of lightning. Whenever you see pret-
ty baby, think what a sweet corpse it would
make, and tell its mother that sickness among
infants is fatal this year; it would be deed
Of charity, and prepare her-to doctor it TO
death If ii. sneczes. Read over tie coluuin
Of accidents, brutal murders, etc, etc Fin
your mind with the most terrible images pre-
paratory to sleep, and you will never be in
want of matter for dreams. Rrcount your
disappointments at every convenient and in
inconvenient opportunity, and never fail to re-
/ gale your friends with dish of symtom done
brown Never enter railroad ear without
the firm conviction that there will be smash
up before you arrive at your journeys end;
never leave home without feeling certain that
somebody will die before you come back A.
gain, and look upon all your blessings as
thorns in the flesh.
BY following these few and simple rules,
you will learn to avoid the particularly rude
and ungenteel ebulition of feeling which is
called laughing, and you will go down to
your grave like cob upon which all the corn
has withered = it being questionable now to
wait till the shock is fully rpencd.
HEMUsT DO Among the papers of fe-
male bigamist, brought before the metropoli-
tan magistrates, were the following lines in
manuscript .......-
A thousand faults in man we find,
Merit in him we seldom meet;
Man is inconstant and unkind,
Man is false and indiscreet;
Man is eapricious, jealous, free;
Vain, insincere, and trfing, too;
And yet the women all agree
For want of better-he must do.