Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1852-06-18
Doctor Books.

Doctor Books.
The folly of dabbling in medicine is very
pleasantly hit off in the following humorous
piece:
About four years ago | was very happily
married to very prudent lady, and being of
the same disposition as myself, we made
very prudent couple. Some time after our
marriage, my wlfc told me that doctors bills
were very high, and as we could not always
expect to be free from disease, she thought it
best to purchase some doctors books. and
thus, said she with a smile we can steal
their trade at once This | agreed to. and
made 1t my particular business to attend all
auctions OF books, in ordor to buv medical
works ut the lowest rate. In fine inI ess than
twelve months had bought couple of Dis
penSatores, Buchanan's Family Physian.'
TWO or three treatises On the art Of preserving
health, by different authors: seven treatisnS
/! ON the diseases Of children and divers others
OF the greatest note. My wife spent all the
time She could spare from the economy Of her
household in studying them. and as soon as
my store was shut up in the evening. | edited
myself with a few receipts from my Dispen-
satory.
rs soon as spring arrived my wife infol-
med me that she found it positively enioined
/ by some Of our writer's that we must syyaI-
-
brlmstone, to be taken every evening for three
weeks, in molasses this the whole family
complied with; | first, who, being the head
OF the family, | reckon first my wife, nv
brother Dick, who lives with me. my son and
my daughter, my negro boy and the servant
mad. This cure we all went through to the
entire satisfaction Of my wife who had the
pleasure to find her medicine had the desired
effect
Soon after this the contagion of reading
medical books spread through all my family.
and scarce day passed but some of them
made use Of some medicine or other. Nv
poor brother Dick, after he had permission
10 read my books, he acquired detected
countenance, the cause Of which | could not
conceive. At last he broke silence: Brother
sad he, lsupposng that ! had read more
than himSelf,) feel my pulse: | think have
too much blood had not better get bled?
you know that if too much blood Gets into
the head it produces apoplexv the Svmp-
toms OF Its appearance, says Buchan, are re-
markabIe rcdness in the face and vou soc
that Is exactly the case with me-. l could
not but laugh at him: he was indeed red in
the face, but such rcdncss as indicated the
very offspring of health. Our maid, from an
education at 4 country school, had learned to
1ead she earnestly requested her mistress to
lend her doctor book to read on Sunday
afternoon. This reasonable request was
granted: but poor creature, being not of the
iuirest complexion in the world. She in lit
tie while became low spirited. and finding my
wife and me alone one evening she came in
and ycntmcd to express herself thus: La
mistress, | am concerned and afraid | shall
Get the yellow laundcrS, a. | begin to look
yellow IN the face, pcccncy prevented my
Smling for while bat when she had left
the room ! could not but enjoy laugh. My
negro boy Is always eating roasted onions
for cold. but a. he cannot read he has
luckily escaped every other disorder. One
night rs We We're about going to bed nv wife
desired me in the most serious manner that
if she should ever be taken with the lock-
jaw that | should rub her Jaw with musk
us she was convinced from comparing the ar
guments of a variety Of authors, that this
was the best remedy. | told her there was
no danger Of such an event, as | had DR..
Cu!l"n'S word that 1t seldom attacked females:
indeed, | am convinced that II i0ri-iG3r6d tddy
IS n rtiu 0cjs IN tsl,jTx
Hitherto our family medicines were used
with confidence and satisfaction on all sides
till | considered one day that a family with
out a doctor. had consumed more medicine
IN one year than my fathers family used TO
do with the advice OF a physician in SIX
years. But one day when my wife told me
she thought it would he we'll enough TO
weigh our food before we eat it, lest we
should eat too much or too little, and rhat
/ SaHcno5'ious advised it for good reasons |
got such disgust TO our scheme that | re-
solved gradually to abandon it. | am now
convinced of the truth of saying of
rational medical writer. one or more things
must happen to every human hody-tO live
temperately, to use exercise, to take physic
or be sick And am pretty certain that if
| and my family persevere in the two former
courses, we need not be in danger of the two
/ last