Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1852-04-01
EvERr MAN DIS owa LAwYEa.


A rich trial took place before Esquire
Dannettell few days sinoes Ones Micky
0'Seranigan, the keeper Of a secondhand
cusation Of purchasing btlof stolen iron,
knowing at the time.khat il lad been stelen.
Several. attorneys fof that class who are al
ways to be seem lounging around magis.
trates' offices) offered to attend to his case
for yery snail fee. Michael indignantly
| spurned their services He said lie had
practicedgat the bar fan antitemperance one
We guess in the "owld country" aud being
conversant with the principles Of law, he
| would conduct his own case
| Hauling quire of paper out Of one peck
get, and huge lump of red chalk out of an.
other, he placed himself in position to take
notes, and then ordered the Squire to pro-
coed efii theowitnessess forsthe State were
7 examined, each or whom Mike questioned
in his own peculiar way to the great amuse-
ment of all present /NYe would like,&o fol-
low him through his<cress examinations. but
/ space forbids The State being through
With its witnesses, the following exceedingly
rich dialogue took place -
Miehael-Plaze yer worship, I've aiwit-
ness 70 prove the bloody liars perjurers, an
thin Il be witness for meseF.
Sguire-Y6u can't be witness for your
SELF Mr.. O]Seranigan
Michael-Faith an eant ATisther Lord
Mayor The law rades Corning over his
blank paper) ''no mau shall take the adyau-
tage o his wrongs Put that in yer pipe
an smoke il. know the law. Now I'll.
call me witness Misther Mccormick lat
the top Of his voice) Misther Mccormick
NeCprmick-( Outside the 3barl here sir.
Niehael-Walk in, sir take off yer hat,
and behave yersel like gintleman, as ye
are Al.
The witness, rcry rough looking speci-
men Of the natives Of the gem of the seas
walked inside the bar, threw his ragged cap
upon desk, and raised his hand for the ad-
ministration of the oath, just5as natural as if
he was used to it. Having been duly sworn,
he was questioned as follows:
Michael-Misther Mccormick, answer me
question. How long have va known me +?
Mccormick Before ye were born, sir.
Michael-Whin did ye know me irst2
MeCormick-I know'd yer father first,
sir.
Michael-Can yo tell me age, Misther
Mccormick
Mccormick Fait' an ! can, to minute,
sir
Michael How ovid am !, Misther Ne.
Cormick?
McCormick-E e. same abe as Paddy-O'.
Genegee-he was born o Sunday, ard
ycrsel on the next. Friday mornin' afther
dark
Michael-How ovid is Paddy, my boy?
McCormick-Owld enough, sir, he's dead
=,
Misther Mccormick :
McC5fmiek-I sees &c now, sir. =
Miehael-O the devil, don't yc sees me
every day, sir?
McCormick-Ycs, sir; that is, 1 sees
yer Guild lady, and she betther man than
yer dare be.
Michael-Be careful Misther Mccormick
reminder yere unther oaths, sir. Are ye
a. Judge of this article, sir q (holding up q
lot ofthe old iron,)
+ Mccormick Fait, AM | lie sir.
Michael--1ere right, sir. Did yees liver
see these scraps O. iron aforda
Mccormick sir.
Michael--Wherc did yees see them, mis-.
thur Mccormick?
I. Mccormick Where theyi now lies, sir
on the floor by ye're .futs
Michael-Wh sir II
Mccormick AS me miHl'ry serves me,
bout two nSnutcs since, sirIl
Michael--Stisthur Mccormick, sye:fe san
ass
Mccormick so be ye sir.
Here the Magistrate interHosed to prevent
an open quarrel between thewitness and his
friend Michael took about I've minutes to
cool down, and thea Addressed theaeourt on
his own behalf He contdpaed that accord.
ing to the rules Of evidence. he had proved
all the other witnesses perjuries, through toe
testimony Of Mccormick, AMI therefore the
/ Magistrate should discharge him and hold
| the witness over to court
lie said hehad't time, On be would prove
| by the highest legal autalosities Of Great
/ Britain, [Qnd their opinions, he slyly inti-
mated are held BY our c2AFts as Of greater
force than the laws Of theeiaBdl The would
prove BY the highest British authorities
| that if the magistrate corhnitted him, he
| (the magistrate) would lay Himself liable to
a prosecution for burglary His eloquence
entirely failed, however, forIthe Squire with
out any remark whatever. ihformed Mike
that he must give bonds ihiS5o0, or 90 t.
/ Jail lie was committed So much for re
| fusing to employ a lawyer.