Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1852-11-03
Guuprrs GIurkahurg RsaIster
NErTLE BOTTOM BALL.
An Amusing Sketch.

We'll, it are fact, boys" said Jim Skies,
t. that promised to tell you how come
ITO get out in these Platte diggins, and
speculate YOU mout as well have it at onst,
4kase its been troublin my conscience anna
Yin to keep it kivered up. The afar raj
ased iessy in Nettlc Bottom, and old Tom
Jones yell, when he swar'd he'd chew me
Cup, gives my meat slight sprinkiin OF
Hanger whenever l think of it.
s'You see thar war a small town called
Inequality, in Mizzury, that some sPecula-
tors started near Nettle Bottom, COS thar
Twas a spontaneous salt lick In the o!S-
sins, and no sooner did they gu goin'
Hand built some stores and groceries thar,
Htban they wagoned from st. Louis ana
Aother down stream villages, parcel OF
HfelIers to attend their shops, that looked
aas nice alPays as if they wur goln to NEE
Mtin or a courtin frolic, and, salt their pic
lures they wur eternally pokin up their
Hnoses at us boys of the Bottom
4 "Well, they got up ball IN the VII
&iane, Jest to introduce themselves to the
Agals round the neighborhood, and invited
IA few on US, to make a contrary pictur
10 themselves, and So shine US out of sight
aSby comparison. AFTER that ball, thar
Awarn't any thing talked on among the
Ngals but what nice fellers the clerks IN
HEquaity were, and how nice and slick
@thev wore their hats, and their sidney
NbootS, and the way they stirrup'd down
Htheir trowsers. If one of us Bottom boys
awent to see the gals, all the talk was
Nabout the slick looking boys from Equali-
b.. =,
g So we boys got our danders up and
1--WE fixed day for general meetin pom
Athe subject. We met in the Bottom, at
Makes and I'm of the opinion thar war
8 some congregated wrath thar-whew !!
Hwnru't they ?"
q Thunder and scissors - says Mike
Jolt, let's go down and lick the town,
fright on sight +
81 No, - hollered Dick Butts, ''let's
E ketch these slick badgers comm out of
H mcetin, and tare the hide and feathers off
Con EN-
why, darn en- what dye think,
gboys," bursted in old Jake; e L swar if
athey amt larnt our gals to wear back
acushions only this mornin caught my
Edarter Sally Ann putin on one and tyin
EEit round her. She thought l was asleep,
Abut l seed her, and made the jade repu-
@diatc it, and no mistake-quicksr -
81 The boys took drink on the occa-
sion, and Equality town was slumberin
Hfor Il short time over a contiguous yarth-
Mquake. At last one of the boys proposed
Sbefore we attacked the town, that we
kNhould git up a ball in the Bottom, and
Nest outshine the town chaps all to death,
HSfore we swallowed 'em. 1t was hard to
Sgin in to this proposition, but the boys
Ecum to it at last, and every Teller started
Athe affair agoln.
& g had been long spell hankerin ar
Eter old Tom Jones darter. on the branch
abelow the Bottom, and she was critter
Sgood for week eyes-maybe she hadn't a
Hpair of her own well, if they warn't a
5brace of n.ovin light houses. won't say
Sit Thur was no calculatin the extent OF
Ahandsomeness of the family that gal
scould bring around her with u Teller like
5 me to look arter 'em. Talk about grace
Guinness did you ever sec maple saplin
Amovin with a south wind? 1t warn't
Scrooked stick to be compared to her. Her
Adad was awful-hc could iist lick any
sthing tha: said boo in them diggins, out
Rswar Saturn, and WAS as cross as a she
&bar, what had cubs. He had little han
Skerin in favor of the fellers in town, too,
stor they gin him presents of powder to
Ahunt with, and he was precious fond of
ausIn his shOotiu iron. | determint, any
ahow, TO ak his darter Betsy to be my
sSpartner at the Nettle Bottom Ball.
81 "Well my sister Marth made me bran
Hnew pair of bucks skin trowsers to frolc in,
sand she put stirrups on EN- to keep 'em
adown. She said straps wur the fashion,
Haud l should wear Fem. l Jest felt with
Hthem on as eff | had scmethin pressin on
sme down, all my jints wur so tight toge-
ether, but Marth insisted, and l knew |
awould dance EN- off, SO l gin in, and star
ated Oft to the branch for Betsy Jones.
q Well, when l srriv, the old teller was
Ssittin smokin artur supper, and the young
Ter Joneses Wur sittin round the table Ia
kin theirs. A whappin big pan of mush
sa5stood rite in the centre and large pan of
amilk beside it. with lots of corn bread and
abutter, and Betsy was hclpin the young
asters, while old Mrs. Jones sot by admirln
@the collection. Old Tom took hard star
( lat me, and L kind shook, but the straps
Hstood, and recovered myself and gin
Ehim as COON as he sent, but wur near the
door, and ready to break if he showed
tight.
b What the h-ll are you doin in dis
Hsuise % says the old mamie swore
adreadfu!-" are you comm down here to
Ssteal? ?"
II riled up at that. Says 1, "Ef
Iwur cumin for such a purpose, you'd be
the last man I'd hunt up to steal off or"
Your rite" says he, " I'd make hole
Ato light your iunards, eff you did"
8 And the old savage chuckled. I ment
abecause he had nothin worth stealth but
ahis darter; but he thought it was cos
Twas afeard on him.
"a Well nlrLN snn,n I cratI,a-nL .-I