Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1852-04-08
A MISTAKE.

A young gentleman who had beenspaying
under protest from her rich father--his
addresses to a yop6g lady, and had almost
given up as hopeless! case, obtained an
eligible situation in a foreign house Meet
ing a lady Of his acquaintance, soon after
he had arranged to go abroad, he said to
hor-
eff you will promise Hne never to tell any
one, I'll confde To you q secretn
80, no of course LII never mention it,
said the LADY, 9
He whispered In her car
9My fortune Is maae-I am going to
Havren
-efou don't sa5 SO ? When ~
e "Next week F"
They separated, and the next day the
father of the young lady appeared before
our hero, fourislhng a big cane in his right
hand, demandinglto know by what authority
he had proclaimed that he VAS about to mar
ry his daughter.
The young man denied the soft inpeach-
q You didln reared the wouldn't-be father
in-law; "you toad Mrs Three emdast that
you were going TO have her next week p
.And so api-td sail for the port Of
How're in the Humboldt"
The old gent SlopeH
n Dry!goo9 stofes are sometimes the
scene of a ludicroas conversation. The
other day young l4dy stepped into well
known embellishments il town and enquired
of q handsome clerk II J.
"sir, have you any mouse elOred ladies'
gloves ~
'sMouse ,colorpd ladies', miss ~
"Yes-a SORT Of gFny-just the colors Of
your drawers aherel3n meaning the store
drawers, whichsw ere painted gray
aMy drawers missI" calculated the young
man, glancing downward at his dress to see
if every thing was right and tight; "my
drawers, miss why 4 don't adear 0ny"
The young lady was carried home on a
shutter
NJ We heard the following interesting
conversation, few days since, between two
candidates for academic honor =
"Bill, spell cat, rat, hat, bat, fat, With only
one letter for each word.n
at can't be did.
@Whatl you Just ready to report verbatim,
phonetically, and can't do that just look
here 9 SO cat, so rat, SO hat, b so bat,
ESQ fat
Gse Horace Mann thus sums up a few of
the advantages of madern inventions One
boy, with four.dinier machine. will make
more paper in d twelye-mouth than all Egypt
could have made IN hundred years during
the reign Of the Ptplemies Ole girl, with
apower press, will strike off books faster than
a million scribes could copy them before the
Invention of printing. One man, with an
iron foundry Will turn out more utensils than
Tubal Cain cenld have forged had be worked
diligently to this time, !"
ur A boy from the country was recently
! taken into agentfehan's ia,nily, One even.
ing, after having been calledIup to the draw
{ ingroom, he came down into the kitchen,
laughing immoderdtely, What's the mat.
ter 2 cried Tho cook Why dang it T said
he. there are twelve on EN- up there, who
couldn't snuff the candle, and they had to
ring for me to do il 7
NJ Some odd genius has fixed up the fol
lowing item :.
.Fwo gentlemen each have daughter;
each marries the daughter Of the other; if
children arise from the union, On both sides,
what relation would they be toAeach other
We couldn't sayi-who can
M a tailor who in skating fell through
the ice, declared that he would never again
leave his warm goose for a cold duck
10 The Dutchman- who refused to take
a one dollar bill because it inighs be altered
from ten, prefers stage travelling to rail-
roads. The former, be says, rides him eight
hours fora dollar, while the latter onlyrides
MN one. pee peoples can't cheat him,
40 ohaia Jnel far nothiag Denos;t tha