Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1852-11-04

O"' why ulu DOl remain loHgh ~ tueH ISht
till my vision had beenistrengthened to discern
their fairest beauties should not then have
followed the delusions of sense and sin.
was about sixteen when my father died, and
my mother sent for me home Immediately, and
never afterwards permitted me % attend school
| cannot blame her; for she was solitary, indeed
and only seemed to live for by ysake ; but the
circumstance was fatalone tony improvement
| was not sufficiently strong n self control to
practice the lessons Of indusl n and forbearance
my dear Mrs. y. had laughtm ne and my moth.
er's whole soul was absorbediQl happiness
which she thouaht could ou 4 Eilirail a.. =
d~igepovs. rDecame again fa0 fetted darling
and every luxury was sought for nie.-And this
Incidence seemed charming, and thought il
folly for those who were rich to trouble them.
selves about learning.
My father had left us rich.
For some years, led life Of complete IMAM
ity. My mother took care of mywardrobo and
this, with managing the house, gave her full
employment. | had little to do when at home
and | was not very fond of society, so that was
obliged to have recourse to the complaints Of i'll
health to diversity my life | had the dyspepsia
one year, and was nervous the next, successive
ly. And this might have confined to the end
of my days, had not an incident which occur
red while was on tour to Canada, reused me
once more to exerton. That incident introduc-
ed me to a Mr.. c.. | was pleased with
him from the first, and wished tomake a favor
ably impression on him. was toerabIy hand
some, believe my maid alwaystod me was
beautiful but Mrs. l.. had warned me against
being fattered by those thought my interiors
SO, as no person but my maid had ever assured
me | was beautiful, did not quite think myself
so. But was rich. There was no doubt of
that and | found means to let Mr.. C
know was rich. | had betternot ha e boasted
lie was man Of fine mind and highly cult
vatcd taste and after he found had the means
SO abundantIy of education, he was less inclined
to pardon the ignorance he could not but discov-
er in me. lie seemed to fear, too, that address
sing me would make him appear mercenary, as
no one could think there was fitness in our
character and taste. Oh, how did regret my
wasted time ? would have given half my for
tune for the benefit of one years improvement
at Mrs. LIS school 1t could not be bought,
however
Mr.. C did not propose for me, but said
he thoqgbtha should Gisit tbeaeyi i,s''aay
studies, resolving would redeem the time. But
habit was too strong for my resolution. | had
been indolent solong that employment distressed
me and then was ashamed to allow my igno'
rance to appear to those who intended 10 give
me lessons, and became more peeVsh and dis
contented every day. was dissatisfied will
myself, and had no kind Mrs. L. at hand to sootht
my spirit by the pity which encourages. 1t wa'
better for me, though, that | made the exertlon
for | have never since had the dyspepsia, and
should never have been nervous if-my poo
heart when will it be stilled forever.
Mr.. C never came to Boston. He mar
ried few months after parted from him, aud
heard of him at Washington, with fair and In
telligent wife, to whom he seemed devoted. Th
disappointment was, for time, very vexatlou
10 me, because had allowed him to know M
partially; and, to escape from my own thought
went into company.
My mother had one excellence. She wa
sincere in her character. She never manage
to get me husband in truth, do not thin
she wished 10 have me married, becaused sh
feared never would find husband sufficient
kind. But she was growing into years, and sh
was troubled at leaving me alone in the worit
And she began to hint to me that it was time
made selection. A number Of single gentle
men visited at our house, for our establishment
was elegant, and table such as a gourman
would worship. The character Of our male vi'
tors may be easily understood. They came
be feased without any metaphor. There wa
little said or thought Of reason" or the ''soul
at our table. But we had delicious soups, an
rich wines.
married Mr.. NJ. He offered himse
to me because | was rich | accepted because
was nearly thirty and feared should do no be
ter There was no love on either side but "
lived together toleraby well lill after mother
death, which happened about year utter my ma
riage. incurred her loss 4; butt was self'
feeling entirely, because she bad saved me fro
all domestic cares, and did not see how cor
live without her. Soon my troubles began,
could not manage the household as my moth
had done, though harassed myself with col
slant cares and my husband found fault Contil
ualy. An epicure is always selfish. Neve
never lei any woman, who wishes for domest
bappDess. marry man whose soul is in his pa
ate. gourmand will be a tyrant-a capri
GUS, unreasonable tyrant. My husband was
tyranl, and, in Witnessing the paroxysms OF raj
into which he would be thrown, when dlsappoi
{ ted of any good thing on Which ne nad set
, appetite, gave me more impressive lessons th'
sermons could have done.-l am persuaded th
those who would be happy must be temperate
q all things and that excess in eating is as vic
ed as excess in drinking.
Rnt 7 linOer on circumstances that may see
). triaing They are triaing with what Il must te
The confession must be made. 1t shall
y though my heart break in the effort
l The second year after my mothers decease
e became mother myself. My daughter, r
l. sweet, lovely child still thy image lives in
1t neart-When thinking Of thy first smile, OF
n pressure of thy soft cheek to mine, l can
y feel the thrill Of pleasure that agitates my boso
a. It is blessed thing to have the affections call
5 forth. | had never loved till / loved my chi
4 The affection bore my own mother was
ri e.h fool;no and always had regard to what 6