The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1852-03-23
EForthe Boston Olive Rrnnch.l

Look here. Mr.. Norris, | want somebody to
hold me! I've just been reading an extract
from Blackwood by German Professor. by
the name OF Stair. in which. after commenting
most severely upon the character of Louis Ma
poleon. he congresses the pith of the matter
into this nutshell. "But no reliance can be
placed on him. In word his character is that
Of a WOMAN" What do you mean by that,
you Old German curmudgeonl Aint women
the quietcst, paticntest, lovingest animals in
existence, when they get all they WON'T Did
you ever see woman snar-y when her purse
was properly supplied and she had gowns
enough in her wardrobe? Their tempers arc
angelic if they're only managed right. II yon
,ciU brush q cats back the wrong way you
must expect to get scratched. Women mot
cats) always kaow what they want and that's
more than half the men do. and they want il
tohen they os. foy. IL. too. without any hens, or
has, or ifs, or butts. Amt they full of fun, and
smiles, and papers before they're married. and
what do they look like afterrards. with long
faces, swollen eyes, and calico morning gowns?
crawling round the house like dyspeptic cater
pillars When they've been worshipped like
divinity for six months or more, you expect
them to hop right off their pedestal after mat
rimony, and crush down at your feet like a
whipped spaniel, who dare not even growl 20
himself when his ears get cuffed. "CharGcter
that Of a 'oomRn." humph! AS to Louis Napo
leon he isn't man To my taste, nor yours ei-
ther! Did you ever see man that had half
the fortitude of icomna? Ask the doctors
about that, If you can catch one that tells the
truth. II a man geis n scratch on his little
finger, the whole house is put in rcquisition
for sticking plaster opodeldoc, Russia Savc,
and mercy knows what; and if you own fine
pair ofeyes and don't want 'em damaged, you'd
better not sag much TO him till it gets WE'LL
Then there amt a savagee err animal in exis-
tence than man when he's hungry Go ask
favor Of HIN some tine just before dinner,
but don't tcaiI for an dnstcer tcithout your ciH
is made: and If the razor don't work right
when he is shaving in the morning, catch up
the children, clear the cost, and run to the
nearest neighbors. And rs to pin money. al
though oil a man can earn wouldn't pay iciJe's
wages, yet If you haven't any affectonato pa,
or big hearted brother, or accommodating
brother-n .law-heavcn help you!
Did you ever know man whose icifc was
sent to States Prison who even made her call
at that interesting Institution! And did you
ever know woman even if she'd had dozen
stitches spoiled over her head, who didn't
bribe jailors and stone walls till she had got at
him, some how or other, to tell him how she
loved him all the better. the wickeder he grew.
ana luc HlOIc Wc pcOpie Hdte mus uuu "o", u
no had abused her, she dare say il was more
her fault than "his'a'' And what did Kos
suth's wife do for him, you stupid old fool! and
what did the American women ofthe revolution
do for their husbaudsl and tchdt ,ciU their fe-
male descendants do for you? you beerdrinking,
phlegmatic, tobacco dried old German, if yon
dare show your phiz-mahogany this side of the
"big pondl' May you never know by expert
ence what his means
''There'll be a coat on the chair.
ThereD be slippers for somebody,
There'll be a wife's tender
Loves fond endearment for somebody.
There'l be the little one charms.
Soon twill be awakened for somebody,
When have both in my arms
oh how blast will be somebody. 81.
FANNY FEM.
p. 5. You will perceive. my dear Mr.. Norris
that I've the same tender-hearted affection for
my sex tha: husbands have for their wives
don't aiio,c any body to THRArn'cm--bm my
seir f