Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1852-06-04
Aunt Hetty OH NIatrImomy.

Now, girls, said Aunt Hehy, put down your EN-.
brodery and worseh work, do something sensible and
stop building air castles, and talking Of lovers and hon
ey-moons it makes me sick, il is perfectly anmon-
al Love is farce-mairmony is humbug; hus-
bands are domestic NapoeoGs, Nefoes, Alexanders,
signing for other hearts to conquer after they
of yours. The honeymoon is as short-Iiyed u-
cfer match after that you may your wedding
dress at the wash tub and your night cap 10 meeting,
and husband wouldn't know it. You may pick up
your pocket handkerchief. help yourself 10
chair, and split your gown across the back reaching
the table to get piece OF butler while he is lay
ing in bis break fast If the last meal he shonl
eat in the world when he gets through he will aid
your digestion (whe you slipping your first cup of
coffee,) by inquiring what you'll have for dinner.
whether the cold lamb all eaten yesterday; and if
the charcoal all ou and what you gave for the last
tea You bought. Then he gets up from the table,
lights his cigar with the last evenings paper that you
have not had chance 10 read gives Two three whis
of smoke, 10 give you headache for the after
noon AMI Just as his coat is vanishing through the
door apologies for not doing that errrand " for you
yesterday-ihinks it doubtful il he can 10 day-"so
pressed with business" Heer of HIN, at eleven clock
taking ice cream with some ladies at Vinions, while
you at home new lining his coat sleeves Chill
dren by the ears all day. can't get out TO lake the air,
feel crazy flea in drum husband comes home
at night, nods how dye do, Fam" boxes Charleys
ears. stands little Fanny in the puts his feet
the CRATE, shutting out all the fire. while the ba
by's little prg nose grows blue with the cold reads
the newspaper all to himself, soaces his inner man
with hot cup of lea, and just you laboring
der the haucina,ion that he will ask you to take
mouhu Of fresh air with him he puts on his dressing
gown and slippers, and begins 10 reckon mp the family
expenses after which he lies down on the sofa, and
you keep time with your needle, while he I'LL
nine O'Clock.
Next morning ask him to leave you " a little mon.
ey" he looks at you as if TO be sure that you are IN
your right mind, draws sigh long enough and stro
enough to initiate pair of bellows. and asks you
;. what do you with it, and il half dollar
do" Gracious King! If those little shoes and stock
ngs and peilicoais could be had for half dollar -
on girls set your affections cats, pooles parrots
ap-dogs but let mairimony alone. It's the hardest
way on earth of getting iving-you rever know
when your work is done up Think of carrying eight
nine children through The measles, chicken pox,
rash mumps and scarlet fever, of em twice over
il makes my head ache 10 think Of it Oh You may
scrmp, and save, and twist and turn and dig and deIye
and economse, AND DIE. and your husband will mar
ry again, and take whai you have saved 10 dress his
second wife with, and she'll take your portrait for .:
reboari but what's The of talking I'll warrant
every of you'll try il, the first chance you gel
there's sort OF bewitchment abont it, some how. |
wish half OF the world warn't fools and roiher
half IDIOTS, do. Oh dear l-Olive Branch.
SIMON Suces.-The Tallalege Gala Reporter says
great excitement was caused in that pleasant AMI un
usually quiet village short time since, by the appear
ance OF strange looking object; but after minute
examination OF the prodigy, it found 20 be jonee
Hooper--the auhoF of Simon Suggs, editor of The
Chambers Tribune, and Solicitor Of the 9ih Judicial
Circuit, with budget on his back containing a shirt
bosom. two shirt collars and one pair Of socks ON the
end OF stick. who had arrived to attend to the inie
rest of the State during the Circuit Court for ,ha,
county Il was said Jonce is the fastest walker an
has the best teind of any of his size and loaks 4,
the Staes and we have no inclinaoii tosdoubt IL