Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1852-06-02
His Character i. that of a woman.

Fanny tearn, OF the Olive Branch, thus
shakes Mr.. Stair by the ears, for remark
ing slightly of women. She says:
Look here, Mr.. Norris, want some
body to hold me I've Just been reading
an extract from Blackwood, by German
Professor, by the name of Stair, which,
after commenting most severely upon the
character of Louis Napoleon, he compress
ses the pith of the matter into this nut.
ahell; "But no reliance can be placed
on him. In a word his character Is that
of woman p What do you mean by
that, you old German curmudgeon :?
Aint women the quietest, lovingest, ami
mails in existence, when they get all they
want? Did you ever see woman snar-
ly when her purse was properly supplied
and she had gowns enough in her ward
robe? Their tempers are angelic if
they're only managed right. If you will
brush cats back the wrong way, you
must expect to get scratched. Women
always know what they want, and that's
more than half the men do, and they want
it when they ask for it too, without any
hens or has or ifs or butts. Amt they
full Of fun, and smiles and capers before
they're married and what do they look
like afterwards, with their long faces,
swollen eyes, and calico morning gowns,
crawling round the house like dyspsptic
caterpillNrs. When they've been wor-
shipped like divinity for six months, or
more, you expect them to hop right off
their pedestal, after matrimony, and
crouch down at your feet like whipped
spaniel, who dare not even growl to him
self when his ears get euffed. "Charac-
ter that of woman !'' hump AS to
Louis Napoleon, he isn't man to my
taste, nor you either? Did you ever see
u man that had half the fortitude of a
woman? Ask the doctors about that, if
you catch one that tells the truth. If
man gets a scratch on his little finger,
the whole house is put in requisition for
sticking plaster, opodeldoc, Russia SHlYs,
and mercy knows what. Then their amt
savagsr man in existence than man
when he's hungry, Go ask favor of
him some time just before dinner, but
don't wait for an answer; and if the razor
don't work right when he is shaving in
the morning, catch up the children and
clear the coast. And as to pin money,
although all man can earn would not
pay wifO'a wages, yet if you haVn't any
affectonate pa, or big hearted brother. or
an accommodating Observation-Disclosures
en- help you.
Did YOU ever know man whose wife
was sent to State Prison who ever made
her a call at that interesting Institution
And did you ever know woman, even
if she'd had dozen sticks spoiled over
her head, who didn't brbe jAilors and
stone walls till she had got at him, some
how or other, to tell him how she loved
him all the better, the wickeder he grew,
and the more people hated him and
how, If he had abused her, she dare say
it WAS more her fault than his'n. And
what did Kossuth's wife Go for him, you
stupid old fool ?-and what did the Amer
lean women of the Revolution do for their
husbands ? you besr-drinking, phlegmat-
ic, tobacco dried old German, if you dare
show your phiz- mahogany on this side of
the big pond ? May you never know
by experience what this means
" ThOre'll be coat on tho chair,
There'll be slippers for somebody,
Thero'll be wifc's tender caro-
Loves fond cndoSrmcnt for somebody.
There'll be the little ones charms,
Soon twill be awakened for somebody,
When have both in my arms
Oh how blest viii bo somebody"'
[TASNY FEARS.