The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1852-09-08
The Yankee at a Modern Hotel.

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enormous pewter buttons, vest as "yaller"
as barberry blossom, and pair of cor
duroys whose highest ambition seemed to
be to maintain their ascendenc, over a
pair of enormous cowhides that had trod-
den many hundred miles oflogging path
might have been seen," jack-knife and
shingle in hand, winding his way up Long
Wharf, in the realization of his lifelong
anticipations of "seein'" Boston. At the
corner of Merchants Row, his progress
was arrested by the numbering transit ofa
two-story house, on wheels, drawn by
half dozen yolk of oxen, with the people
inside pursuing their usual avocations.
"What on earth is this 'ear9 he asked
of bystander.
ooh, nothing" replied the "towney,"
"the folks are only moving, that's all."-
When we move down here, we do it house
and ALL"
"Je-rusalem Wall. that ere beats all
stun house over the left9"
That's the new Custom House. It's
a mighty bad location, but they are going
to move it next week."
Thunder and molasses! It'll take all
the oxen in creation to start her."
"Oh, they use elephants for such large
buildings"
And how many elephants will it take"
"Upward of a hundred"
The Yankee cut a deep cash in his
shingle and walked on.
He next inquired for the Adams House,
for he had heard tell " of that, and was
determined to progress during juvenility,
aware of the impossibility of doing so at a
more advanced age.
"He soon found the |" tavern" and the
"deacon," and ordered accommodation,
literally "darning the expenses" Hav-
ing " "slicked up" little, he witnessed,
with some amazement, the operation of a
servant upon the gong, simply remarking,
that I" he know'd what sheet litening was,
but this was the first time he'd ever heard
of sheet thunder" He followed the crowd
into the dining hall, and was ushered to a
seat, where he esconsed himself, tucking
his towel under his chin with sort of
desperation, as if he was going to be shay
ed or scalped.
The sight of the covered dishes added
to his amazement. "Dod darn it ~ he
exclaimed, "ef ever heard of cookin' on
the table but here they've gone and sot
tin Kitchens all over the lott. Whar's the
fire to come from I'd kinder like to know9"
He got along with his soup very well,
and was pausiug for breath, before he fin
ished it, when waiter snatched it away
and was running off with it.
Hello, you, sir " vociferated the Yam
kee, 81 see you. Fetch that ere back,
quicker'n lightning, or you'll hev yer head
punched.
His plate was returned, and he finished
his soup with dignity. After waiting
moment he raised his voice aga n, and sum-
moned the offending waiter sternly.
"Kalkerlate to starve mel"
"No, sir"
"Wall-why dom you fetch on some
fresh fodder, darn IL Q"
There's the carte, sir"
d" Where's the cartG And what in the
thunder am to do with the cart when
hev got itl Look out yer pisky sarpent,
or yer'll kotch it."
"The bill of fare.'
IL don't pay my bill till I've had my
fodder"
The waiter humbly explained his mean
ing.
What's all these crack jaw names
mean9 Give me something plain and
hearty-biled corn beef-and fetch it
about the quickest, while look over the
paper, and see what el,e I'll hev."
The meat was brought him. "Hold
on J" was the next order. "Whats this
'erel M-a-c-a-read it, won't you, sir "
Maccaroni, sir"
All right, Canp'n.H Hurry it up.
The dish was brought.
"Yer etarnal cussl" roared the down
Easter, " eff I han't as great mind TO ker-
whollop yer, and make an example ofyer
on the spot. What do yer mean by run
ming yer rigs ON me jist because I am a
stranger in these psrts9 Take away yer
billed pipe stems and fetch us some cab
bage. That's night. And now come vim
egar."
"Vinegars in the castor, 81" replied
the waiter and mada oood bia ra4ro.k