The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1852-07-10
THE SCIENCE OF POLITICS.

THE SCIENCE OF POLITICS.:
OR, TIIADpErS STEVENS AND THE RIM
DIE OF SHINGLES.
By FAICO NHIDtiE
Few readers OF the newspapers, any time
these twenty wears past. but have heard of
ThadleuS Stevens. Thadlcu> hal. and has
vet, doubtless, an Gd ruJ,'undrm manner of
rallvinm the 'sovereimnS to his standard
Mr.. Stevens is blessed with a Bvronr ,n1,r-
stmdhg-hc is game-lc@gcd otherwise. he
is a good-lookin~, rotund. out-and-out hero
of thc-hallot box When Thadhlcu> Stevens
first run for Congress, he was not generally
known he vas not much of a blower and
had not been round among the Dutch farmers.
traders. hoamcn anl miners. to stir them nm
and appri>c them Of the dangers of 9Th" IL
ION how its savclhilitv was through him to
he pcrpctuatcd. and all that; in short. Mr..
Stevens was, vou may say. a novice in the
business. decent and modest man: and be-
! mo plttcd with an odd >tagrr in caucus mv>-
trricS. Mr.. Stevens friends had cause to trar,
his cake would be all dou"l. unless some
fruitful do'"r was rc>"rt"d to. to knock the
( sand from the foundation of the ilouri>hno
I opposition II was done. >,h >1rnfo; fine
! friends OF Tha1lruS went to work and in a
brief time before the polls were 10 be thrown
| open to the sovereign people Of PENNSYLVANIA.
a report cot abroad that not ONLY a>-oni>hcd
Mr.. Stevens himself but made his uniuiatiat-
ed friends gapc with wonder. and feel. for
their champion, very >trcakcd
II got no;~el around that Thad,lruS Ste
vrnS was tailor. very poor tailor at that. 4
mere stitch in time and not honest, ERGO ,
lhaddruS Stevens was accused OF theft !
S"mchodv said they heard '>omrho!v say
that ihad'!rn> Stevens once stole a bundle
of shingles And that in the process he was
caught hy the foot in a steel tran-nhd hnt
~HS h' rH"s@ ot' his gum. Lg, Here was a
90 Candidates for Office and public Glory
expect to suffer c. some for their caloriou>
k"nd'trv, hut here was positive r,t'0,mtnf
OF foul calumnv and aSpcrSion This was the
pillory polite, thumbscrcw, qnroie! Mr..
Stevens felt cut down and wiltcd equal to a
first class dickcy in dog DAYS, Mr.. Stevens
rolHe ont: he spread himself he told his con
StltucntS that he expected aS well as others 10
be bclcd. abused and vlificl; but he did not
expect TO find. III civilized and Christian
community, anybody 50 da>tar,llv mean. COW
ar1ly and contemplate as to charge him with
theft, especially such a thcft-p'1y nrrrng
N a hmber ynri!
The sovcrci"nS discussed the matter at
home and abroad; the country inn lounrcrs
wondered how such 4 report got about The
bar-room and oyster cellar vauc,l>cs debated
the subject at great length. and all this time
the 'oppo>ition were going ahead. tire,
Thousand pounds of steam to the square inch
The bundle Of shingles and steel trap story
was promul gated with vengeance
Iiggin>, have you heard the news = say,
one of the Sorerriqo> To another
'Ncw>?' Ji-gins responded; no, villa,
news. Jones:
'Thaddcu> Stevens
.Wcn:'
Once stole a bale Of shingles somcwhcr,
out near Columbia, 50 they say.
lou don't say SO, How'd vou hear that
,JoncS;'
'Why, was told by dozen men, say:
Jones; there comes Jenkins-he has hcarc
OF it.
Jenkins, says .Jie"ins, is that true bill
bout Stevens hooking a bale of shingles 2
True: \ bale of shingles = answered
Jenkins, Yes, more too is true. he stole the
shingles and whcel-barrow to wheel EN- off
in"
\ fourth coming up, the plot thickencd ,th,
stecl-trap was added to the shingles an,
whcclbarrow, while fifth Swore he alway,
thought Stevens was suspicious fellow ant
was ready to bet five dollars that he'd as lief
ta>ten on to a horse, sheep or ovcrcoat, as h,
would to ham and eggs for breakfast
These diabolical hints and inucndocs strucl
Mr. Stcvcns-Proyidcd tenth part of then
ever reached his carS-all up in heap, an,
called for the strongest kind of rcbuttcrs t
offset. The Congressional candidate nov
found himself called upon to let the otlicia
honors and dignity 90 while he went in
tooth and nail to defend his own immrdiat
honor and dignity from the ,ilcst trcachery
deceit and pipe-laying that party feeling an,
fury ever concoctcd as he may then hay
supposed.
Now, when danger aSsals the weakest an,
most timid creature, all the fight in it come
out, IN jest, too, at times, they may truly as
toni>l the bcholder So with regard to
good name the man who believed ,himselt
incapable OF the most nieagre effort i'll publ
| speaking has found his wounded pride an,
honest integrity 50 stirred mp to lrclaHativ
,ublimirv tv fcul-mouthe1 calun.ny. that Pat