Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1852-05-15
THE MAN WHO KNEW EVERYTHING.

who kept the grocery at the fork of the road
near Woodchnck Creek, Scragg Hollow, in
the village Of Hornville. No occurrence had
ever taken place, of all the particulars Of
which Caleb did not possess thorough
knowledge in the minuiest detail. All mat
ters in the perspective were anticipated, dis
cussed and arranged, and satisfactorily dis
posed of by Caleb long before they took
| place. If Il neighbor rushed in:o store TO
communicate what he believed 10 be very
recent piece of news, he would have the
conceit taken out of him by being told by
Caleb that he chad heard il week ago.n. =
Events of the past, present, and future, were
all the same 10 him his ubiquitous know
ledge grasped and covered them ALTO him
they were all stale news"
A small bet was made one evening, be.
tween 81 Stevens and Joe Stubbins. 81 bet
that Joe couldn't nonplus Caleb with any
piece of intelligence, real or imaginary
Joe 'iook all such bets as that" the fol-
lowing evening, 81 and Joe, accompanied by
two or three more Of the ''boys" of the vii.
lage, who were 10 "help the thing along"
and "fl in" proceeded TO Caleb's STORE
After being comfortably seated here and
there, on barrels, boxes, &C., 81 opened the
evenings amusemenls by asking, in man.
ner, that indicated he was continuing con.
versaiion commenced before they entered
the store
$50 you say, Joe, that they caught him
last night 7"
ayes sir, about seventeen minutes past
eight"
"Well, Joe, how far up the creek is it 2"
Con careful consideration, | should say
it was about three miles, or three miles and
quarter, or perhaps half up the said
creekn
Caleb, who had not lost word of the
conversation, dropped his sugar scoop with
astonishment, and opened his ears, for the
boys were talking about matter in which
he was not "posled up" The conversation
continued
"Well," says 81, "lhat couldn't been far
from Deacon Hunts :"
"Jest So" answered Joe, "it was about
eighty rods from Deacon Hunts hog pen, in
slanchwse direction"
"Did you hear, joe" asked 81, with face
as solid as two gravestones 81 hearn tell
that they got well nigh upon sixty bar'ls
of ile.n
The wags observed that Caleb was get.
ting exceedingly uneasy, and then Spilled it
on.n
"Well, Slas, the insect was about eighty
two feet long, and tweniy-eight feet, odd
inches, broad, and very thick in proper,
tion.n
81 thought, Joe, that there was two or
'em."
THAT'S a fact, there was a pair of 'em
but they only caught the he one"
AT this point in the dialogue, Caleb be
came so desperately excited that he conlt
contain himself no longer, and snappishly
demanded TO know "whal'n thunder they
were talking about ?'
"Why," said Joe, with well-feigned aston
ishment, "don't you know about their catch
ing that are"
"That are what" peevishly snarlet
Caleb.
"Why, that are phale !" seriously answer
ed Joe Stebbins.
"a thale !" exclaimed the bewilderec
Caleb shave they caught whale up The
creek !"
'They haven't caught anything else,' saiC
the imperlurbable Joe.
"And how much lie did they get ?" in
quired Caleb, as he recovered his wits.
"Nine,y-two bar'ls," replied, Joe, for
getting the amount he had previously men
toned.
"Well,n said Caleb, with slow delibera
ton, and a satisfied look, III am glad the,
caught the trhale, for I heard they pere artel
him ~
Joe paid the bet.-BOstOn Carpet Bag.