Fremont weekly freeman. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1850-1853, 1852-02-14

NUMBER 40.
. The Standing Candidate.
HIsKxcUsE FoR BEING 4 BGcHELC

HISExCUsE FOR BEING A BACHELOR g eg
The only objection ever made to me Id this
are county, as a legislator, was made BY the
wimin, cause wor bachelor, and never
told you sfore why remained in the state Of
number one.si No feller STAYS single prenedi-
tated, and, IN course, a hansnm feller Ike me,
who all the gals declar' to be as enticin' as
Jay bird, wasn't going to stay alone il he could
helpis did see creatur' once named Sofa
Mason, up the Cumberland nigh unto NasFs
vile, Tennessee thst tux nn orful hankerin' -
after, and 1 sot ia 20 lookin, anxious fur mat
rimony, and gin to go regular to neetin,.
aud TUX to dressn' tremendous fni6eG. Jest to ~
| see if could win her good opinion. She did
| pit toloeka' at me, and one day comm, from
meetin', she was takin' a look at me rather =
shy, just as boss does at sumthin' he's scarf
| at when, arter champin' at distance for asss
while sdled up to herand blarted out fewsa5s
words about abe sarmin-she says yes, but 81
cuss me ef know whether that wur the riQAs
answer or not, and I'm lhinkin she didn't know -
then, nuther. Well we larfed and talked So
ieeile all the way along to her daddy's and ~
thar I-giye her the best bend had in me,and
raised.my bran new hat as peert and perlits s.
as a minister. .lookin. all the time so enticiA'
that I sot the gal trembln'. Her old daddy
had powerful numerous lot of healthy Rig-
gers, and livin' right admin Eny place, while
in cute Earmint, who war wusser than mi-
ser fur stingness, and no sooner did this cuss-
| ed sarpint see me sidin' up to Sofy, than he
went 10 slickin' up, too, and sot himsslfto work
| to cut me out That arr wur struggle skil
to the battle of Orleans. Furst some new fix
up of Jake's would lake her eye and then
I'd sport somethin' that would outshine him,
until at last Jake gin in trying to out dresame, -
and sot-to thinkin' Of sumthn else ~
Our farms wur, jest the. same number Of 81
| acres, and we both owned three niggers R5saz
piece. Jack knew that Sofy and her dad kept g
/ a sharp eye out for the main chance, so hagas
thort he'd clar me out By buyia another nig-s
ger; but jest folle, ID suit and bopghtone
the day arterh be got his, 50 be had no adYant- ~
age thar he then got COW, and 80 did Land
fest about then both of our pnsses gin OUT
This put axe TO his wit 8 eend, and war asss
wund rim what inathe yearth he would try
next We stood SO, hip and thigh, fur about
1.-TWO weeks, both on falkin' sweet TO Sefy. =
whenever We could git her alone thoTt Z
Iseed that Jake, the sneskin'cuss, war gettih'
mite ahead of me, cause his tongue were =
soiley; / .didn'tet on, but but kept topeye
| on him. On Sunday nornin' I war a little
late 10 meetin', and when / got thar, the fust
! thing l seed war Jack Simous, sittin' close
/ bang up agin7 7Sofy, in the same pew with her
daddyl l billed while with wrath, aud then
turned sour; could taste myself Thar they
wur, sn9in' hims out of the same book. Jee--
e-etniny, felfers / war 80 enormous mad that
the silk Handkerchief round my neck lost
its colori Arter meeting was out they walk-
ed linked arms a smlin' and iookih as pleas
ed as a young couple at their 6rst christina,
and Sofy turned her cold shoulder at me SO
torful pinted, that wilted down and gin up
4 right straight-Jake had her tharwur no dis e
4 putin it! I headed toward home, with my
hands as fur in my trowsers pockets as could
i push 'em SWARM all the way that she wuE Z
the last one WHO would ever get chance to
4 rile up my feeln's Passin' By ,Jake's plaats-
4 ton, looked oTer the fence, and thar stood an
explanation ofthe Matter, right facin' the road.
Iwhar every onejpassin could see this con-
sarned cog was tied to a stake In the gardin,
witk a most proaaising cal along side ct heri
The calf Jest soured nay milk, and made Sofy
think that feller VITO was always getsin
ahead like Jake, wur = right SMART enanee fur
a lively husband T. szs g. ~
A shout of aughter here drowned Sugars
voice. AS soon as silence was restored, be ad =
ded, in solemn tone, with one eye shut, and
hisforefnger pointing at his auditory:
4 What was cussed sight wusser than his
gittin' Sofy war the fact. that he borrowed the
IEealf ihs night before from Dick Harkleyf-
4 After the varmnt got Sofy hitehed, he told
The Joke an over the settlement, and the boys
I never seed me afterwards that they didn't
bah at me for lettin' q calf cut me out Of a
7 gals affections I'd shot Jake, but thort i
war free country, and the gal right to her
choice without bein' made a widdor, so jest
sold ou: and travelled I've Sllays thort since
then, boys. wimun wur good deal like licker.
eff you love 'em too hard, thar sure to throw
you some way!
II Co,