The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1852-01-01
Gclcftc0.
From the Central New Yorker.
THE PROFESSOR'S COW;
OR,
THE GREEN HORNS GHOST.
BY BLINKING BILLY.

A short time since, being in attendance
at sewing circle, heard the following
amusing anecdote related by young lady
who was present. All she was the very
essence of mirth and good humor, and she
possessed such peculiar and original
way of tellin' yarn" that even had
you heard the same score Of times, you
could not refrain from a hearty guffaw on
hearing it re-spun by her. When relat-
ing an anecdote, she would accompany it
with such comical expression of couute-
nance, that the soberest monk that ever
did penance in the vaults of monastry
would not be censured in the enjoyment
of real old-fashioncd utton-burster at
her expense.
shall never be able to embellish the
subject with the rich, raciness of its fair
author, but having strong desire to give
the thing more extensive circulation than
the limits of a sewing circle, with faint
hope of success, attempt the recital.
A certain college-which, of course,
shall be nameless-was furnished with a
beautiful, level play ground, for which the
students had great paLtiality. Now the
play ground in question, was surrounded
by high and beautiful fence, excluding
all stragglers of the animal kingdom, and
consequently, luxuriant growth of grass
had carpeted the premises, highly magpi-
flying the already priceless value set upon
it by the students.
Now the Professor possessed one Of
those ravcnous destroycrs of all "green
things" commonly denominated a cow and
having an eye single to the welfare and
general good living of said piece of person
al property, came to the anti-retreatins
conclusion that the above named COW
should enjoy the aforc mentioned luxurian
growth of grass.
"Of what possible use is it to them =
he mentally argued, referring to the stu.
dents, "no use at all while am paying
the cxhorbitant sum of fifty cents week
for pasturage, they are tramping under
foot as fine crop of grass as nature ever
permitted to vegetate. Here, now is a
saving, or rather clear gain of twenty-six
dollars year! Well, that amt very bad
to take Yes, old bossy, in you must 60 ~
and acting upon this determination he
turned his cabbage eater upon the prem
ises.
The students were not long in discover
ing the intruder, and meeting was called
to decide what would be the most practical
BILE method of ridding themselves Of the
nuisance.
At this collegc-as is the case indeed,
at almost every college-there were a
clique of students, apart from the majority
of scholars that were genuine high flyers
up to and into all sorts of deviltry that
presented itself. Was there hen-roost
robbed, hive Of honey stolen, horses
name and tail cropped,
Our College friends received the name,
And seldom went without the game!
Of this gang, one Tom West was the
ring leader, and upon him devolved the
duty of devising a way to rid themselves
of the invader OF their rights and at the
same time to turn the circumstance to theil
own advantage
"Well, boys, what do you think of my
proposition - asked Tom, at the meeting
referred to above, "we can do it, l tell
YOU, and it's no more than fair that we
should have reciprocal for the loss of oul
grass, what's you're opinion, Ebe !" ad'
dressing himself to Ebenezer Buckhorn, a
tall, shrewd-looking, peaked face Var.
mou,,ter who stood about six feet four, II
his stockings.
WAL" drawled out Ebenezer, sending
one of his brcad-hooks" into his breeche
pockets on an exploring expedition TO
g tobaker,n " ef yeu are beund tn hev th