Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1852-02-07
AUNT HETrY ON MATRIMONY.

| Now, girls, said Aunt Hety, put down
! your embroidery and worsted work. do some
thing sensible, and stop building air.cas,les,
and talking of lovers and honey moons; i,
makes me sick, ii's perfectly aniimonal -
Love is farce--matrimony is a humbug /;
husbands are domestic Napoleons, Neros
Alexanders, sighng foi other hearts 10 con-
quer after they are snre of yours. The
honey moon is as short lived as lucifer
match ; after that you may wear your we'd.
ding dress at the wash tub, and your night
cap TO meeting, and your husband wouldn't
know it. You may pick up your own pock-
ct handkerchief, help yourself TO a chair,
and split yonr gown across the back reaching
over the table TO ge, piece Of butter, while
he is laying in his breakfast as it ii was
the last meal he should eat this side of
Jordan when he gets through he will aid
yeur digestion. (while you are slipping your
first cup Of cofee,) BY inquiiing what you'll
have for dinner, whether The cold lamb was
all ate yesterday, if the charcoal is out and
what you gave for the last green tea you
bought. Then he gets up from the table,
lights his cigar with tina last evenings paper
! that you have not had a chance to read !;
gives two or three whiffs OF smoke, sure to
give you headache for the afternoon, and
just as his coat tail is vanishing through the
door, apologises for not doing :ihat errand"
tor you yesterday-ihinks it doubtful if he
can to-day-''so PRESSED WITH BusINEss."-
Hear OF him at o'clock, taking an ice.cream
with some ladies at Vinlon's, while you are
at home new lining his coat-sIeeves. Chill
dren by the ears all day, can't get out to take
The air, feel as crazy as a fly in drum !; hus-
band comes home at night, mods show dye
do, Fam" boxes Charey's ears, stands little
Fanny in the corner, sits down in the easiest
chair in the warmest corner, puts his feet up
over the CRATE, shutting ou! all the fire, while
the baby's little pug-nose grows blue with
the cold reads the newspaper all to himself,
solaces his inner man with hot cup of tea,
and Just as you are aboring under the hal
lucina,ion tha, he will ask you TO take a
mou,hful Of fresh air with him, he puts on
his dressng.gown and slippers, and begins to
reckon up the family expenses after which
he lies down on the sofa and you keep time
with your needle, while he .nores till nine
O'Clock. Next morning ask him TO leave
you IA little money" he looks at you as if
to be sure that you are in yonr right mind:
draws sigh long enough and strong enough
TO initiate a pair of bellows, and asks you
"what you want with it, and if half dollar
won't do" Gracions king as il all those lit.
tie shoes, and stockings, and pe,ticoats could
be had for half dollar Oh girls set your
affections on cats, poodles, parrots or lap
dogs-bui let malrimony alone. It's the
hardest way on earth of getting living
you never know when your work is done
up. Think of carrying eight or nine chill
dren through the measles, chicken-pox, rash,
mumps, and scarlet fever, some of 'em
twice over; il makes my sides ache to
think Of it. Oh, yon may scrimp and save,
aud twist and turn, and dig and delve, and
economist AND DIE, and your husband will
marry again, take what you have saved to
dress his second wife with, and she'll take
your portrait for fire-board, and--but
what's the use of talking? I'll warrant
every one of you'll try it, the frs, chance
you get, there's sor, of bewiichment about
it, somehow. wish one half of the world
wan'l fools, and t'other half idiots, do.-
Oh, dear Olive Branch.
THE RAIL ROADS WEsr.-The Cincinnati