The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1852-06-09
RAM-BUTTING ADKINS.

We read story the other day ofa Scotch
minister who had an iron pot given to him by
one of his flock; and taking il home, finally got
il down over his ears, and couldn't get /, off. uu-
til the village blacksmith broke il with his
hammer.
This reminds US of an exploit we used to hear
Of when boy, of young fellow named Ad-
kins, who practiced butting with ram. Crook
ed-horns was brought up about the house. and
Adkins had hardened his head upon him while
he was small, and for long time was an over
ma tch for the little fellow, and could W orst him
at butting. But young rams are not going to
stay small always-they come after while to
prodigious hardness in the head and strength
in the neck, which not being natural to two
legged rams, gave him vast advantage over
Adkins, whose fondness for the sport began to
decline as that of the four.legged champion in
creased. He began to think he should have to
avoid the encounter, unless his wit could sup
ply the place of strength and hardness, and
own up beat-and that he didn't like all.
One day, the ram had butted him amazing
hard, and it made him mighty mad. So he
went into the house, and putting his mammy's
dinner-pot partly on his head, went out to butt
with the ram. Crooked-horns was as ready as
ever; he knew it was Adkins; and when he
came at him on all fours as usual, he let drive
full tilt at the pot, which he knocked clean
over Ills cdIS u his sUOuiUeTSs lie FICtOTS WIS
full and complication Adkins was down, and
couldn't help himself-the light ofday was ex-
cluded, so he couldn't see the ram, who still
kept coming at him on all sides-untl he final.
ly had TO baw1 out Justify, and crawl and
scramble to the house, until he alarmed and
brought out the old woman.
She drove off the ram and took Adkins into
the house, outcome off theipot wouldn't: final
ly it had to be broken before Adkins was re
H.. 4 ~
loss of that pot; and as long as Adkins lived in
this part ofthe world, he bore the title of Ram
buttiag ADKINS.
The KNIcKERBoCKER.-Old Knickerbocker
"never tires" in the race for fun, novelty,
wit, and news-that is to to say, news in its
own line:
FABULA lI.-Hor not to get elected to Con.
gress.-"The Bull and the Ass were once can
1idates for Congress. The animals of the con-
sttuency being all assembled on election day,
the Bull mounted the stump, and thus address
ed them:
Horned cattle, hogs, sheep, geese, turkeys
and ducks, l ask your sutfrages because |
believe can serve the public better than any
OF the rest of you. Congress, as you all know,
has become a mighty hard congregation. Col.
Wolfand Judge Fox, Captain Panther and old
Governor Grizzly are elected members of the
next House, and unless you elect somebody
that can't be builied down, your interests will
suffer. Friend Horse, here, is good sensible
beast, but he has no talent for public bodies
He declines the nomination in my favor. As
for the rest ofyou, there is not one who is fit
for the post! You sheep are towards; you hogs
are stupid and pig headed; you turkeys, geese
and ducks are but little better than idiots, and
would die outright if Commodore Hawk should
whistle at you when you took the floor. Ny
worthy antagonist here you know as well as |
do. These old Federalists would fool him out
OF his ears. | can say nothing about myself.
Ii you think can be bullied down by the whole
menagerie, don'tvote for me; if otherwise,
otherwise"
"The Ass then began in the most magnif
cent periods: "My fell DOW citizens! When
the r o.o-man empire was at the summit OF its
corruption, do not think that such insolence
was ever heard. What! my courageous and
heroic friends, the sheep, are stigmatiZed as
'cowards;' these intelligent and candid swine
are styled stupid and pigheaded; and these
geese and turkeys, whose gigantic intellects
are the admiration Of the known world, are
covered with food of obloquy and vitupera-
ton, worthy of the most corrupt period OF the
Roman empire."
"We cannot report the remainder of this
grand harangue. Suffice it to say, that the Ass
obtained the entire sheep-vote, pig-vote, and
goose-vote, and was elected.
Moral.-"This fable teaches that candidates
for office should not call pigs pigs"