Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1852-07-29

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bashful lover. His name was Dam.
phuIe, but we used to call him slack
ass" ior short. Heaven help me il
he should hear this story; hope he
don't take the Spirit:
Among his many misfortunes, for
he was cock eyed, red-hairec, and
knock. .kneed, he numbered that in
convenient one of bashfulness; never
theless he was fond Of the ladies,
although when in their presence he
never opened his mouth il he could
help il, and when he did speak he
used both hands TO help him TO talk;
in fact. he was young man Of
"great actions"
Jack, one warm day, fell in love.
He had just graduated at college,
and began to think he must seek the
ladies' society; he was getting TO be
a man, and it looked manly TO have
"penchant."
So Jack fell in love with the
sweetest, liveliest, most hoydenish
girl in the square-but how to tell
his love. There was the rub. He
had heard good deal of the "lan>
guage of the eyes," and he accor-
dinghy tried thai; but when he
looked particularly hard at the win
dow in which Miss Emily was in the
habit of sitting, some person on the
other side of the street would in
variably bow TO him, thinking he
was endeavoring TO catch their eye.
He has despised expressive eyes
ever since.
AT length Jack obtained an intro.
duciion through his sister, and with
her he called several times. but she
was obliged TO leave the city for a
season, and, as each interview had
only increased his ardor, he finally
determined upon "going it alone"
Long before the hour fixed upon
by custom for an evening visit, he
found himself arrayed in his best.
Blue coat, metal buttons, black cas-
simere pants (said pants being leetle
tighter than the skin), and a spotless
vest. The journals Of the day state,
as an item Of intelligence, that tie
thermometer ranged from rs TO 80
degrees; Jack swears i: was a hun.
dred. As the hour gradually grew
near, Jack found his perspiration
and his courage oozing out together,
and he almost determined 10 pull off
and stay at home. He concluded.
however, he'd take a walk past the
house and see how he felt.
By the time he reached the man.
sion he firmly concluded not TO go
in, but on casting his eyes toward
the parIor window, and perceiving
no signs of life there, he thought ii
probable that no one was al home,
and since he had proceeded so far,
he would proceed farther and leave
his card.
No sooner determined than con.
cluded. In a reckless moment he
pulled the bell; the darn'd thing
needn't make such "cussed" noise.
The door was opened as if by magic,
and the servant girl politely asked
him in. Miss Emily was alone in
the parlor, and would be delighted 20
see you.
o, Lordl here was fix! Go in a
dark parlor with a pretty girl alone!
1t was too late to retreat; the girl
had closed the front door, and was
pointing to the parlor where "Miss
Emily was sitting all alcne." Being
perfectly convinced that no choice
was left him, into the dark room he
walked, or rather Sided.
All was perfect chaos TO his eyes
for a moment, but only for a mo-
meni; then from the deepest gloom
came forth an angel vo'ce, "bidding
him welcome and draw near" To
obey the order was but the work of
moment, as he supposed; but he
little dreampt Of the obstacle which
fate had thrown in his way. He
knew full well the stream Of love
had many ripples, but full grown
snags entered not his calculation.
Judge then Of his astonishment
OF being tripped up almost at the fair
ones feet by lat stool with pletho-
ric legs, which chance OF arareless
servant had placed exactly on his
road to happiness. Over he went
and as the tailor had not allowed for
an extra tension of muscles and
sinews, he not only "procured" a
tumble. but also compound tract
ure" Of the black pants Aforesaid;
said fracture extending all across that
point which comes in closest contact
with the chair.
Having picked himself up as care
fully as circumstances would allow.
the smothered laugh OF Miss Emily
"not setting him forward any," he at
last succeeded in reaching chair.
and drawing his ceat-tails forward
TO prevent a disagresable expose, sat
himself down with as much grace as
bear would be expected TO exhibit
when requested to dance on needles.
! The young lady was almost suffo-