Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1852-11-24
MARrINsBuRe, VA WEDNESDAY MORNING. NOVEMBER a 1885,
GAME OF si,Ac.


Talk about your darned fast lines said a
Yankee to Goekney. who. was 50 imprudent,
10 tito natural way 81 bis ceuntrymca, TO COM
meucc Dragging on English Railroads while.
hcscouple were progressing at The rate Of for. s
ty miles an hour on the birmingham railroad.
Why, mister, this ere road is partly consid-
cradle for England. but it wont do for Mcyi
ky.a We ride stfaddle o. telegiaphs there
when we're in q hurry, but when We aint we.
take the railroad. ] was comm from Phila
delphy to New York. when ] says to Teller
ettin by me. who on airth owns that big
garden with white palms around il ~
i dom / see no white palms, scs he.
| Il don't see nothin else. and mighty tall
fence it is too, ses /. IA
The Teller bust out . lafhn'--'why, you
darned fool, ses he, 'thcms the telegraph
poles. aai. ga %
Sure enough, when the engine Teller stopped
| saw them posts hundred feet apart, and
we had been goin' SO ALFRED fast they looked
| for all the world like white palms. n,
/ At this. time the bcll rang at signal sta
ton. before the cockney had fully recovered
| from Jonathan's last dose.
| What's that bell ringin' for inquired tue
latter. Ne
we are approaching D
| ...Well, them kind o fxins does for these
ere slow cars, but we can't use them are con !.
triyances in 'Meriky.'
All why not I?
Travel too fast-beat sound all to smash
4 We would be smack through village before
! the sound Of FIRST clapper was in the neigh
| borhood'
| My beyes is it possible exclaimed the
astonishea cocxney-
/ Fact again, by thunder. Why. | was on
| the York cars when them are steam whistles
were first tried May be you've hcern Of the
1 terrible accident?
I No.
We'll, sir, we were going it strong. IIur
rycanes were no whar-- all nature seemed
shakin to pieces, when several miles of, some
ru,,m was seen on the track. The whsle was
/ let loose, and she did scream orfu...yy, but i
was no manner Of use, for after tumhling over
q span of smart horses, and big market
wagon, was just risin from pond, when
along cum the whistle holler, mixed up with
some big cusses, mind to have. beern the
engine man rip out when he first saw the wa
gon.. But the poor fellow was dead when bis
voice arrived Fact got the documents
4 'Hextraordiuary exclaimed the horror
stricken Cockney. and do they whistle yet !!
Bless your soul. no. Congress stopped
'em right off, and now we act on the philo-
sophie principle that light travels an alfred
4 sight faster than sound which will do perhaps
| for this generation. We now tell EN- we are
comm BY burstia out q light that astonishes
all animal creation. and reckon rather sur
priscd the planetary system at FIRST When
it was tried at night the rocstess on the road
commenced growing, and the chickens all got
down from their roosts, thinking it was day
light. '''.'
/ The cars suddenly stopped, when Jonathan.
having arrived at the point of bis destination,
looked around atthe astonished cockney, nod
ded his head, and taking bis carpet bag I'M
der one arm and the umbrella under the 9TH
err, took his leave as sober as deacon.