Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1852-1859, 1852-10-02
From the Baltimore Clipper.
NEWS FROM SCORCH CORNER.

Mrssns EprroRs---As you have been so obligng
as to admit few my likes to your columns for the
benefit of those who wish to please me, will sng-
gest few more on which delight, hoping that the
fliends of your side of the death stream may pro-
fitted thereby, and that one may say when they
come to my abode, that they were Ignorant OF the
I" small things in which have pleasure. like
to see
/. Professors of religion assemble at the Church
door at least half hour before the time, and stay
out till after the of service, for in
diligence in mercantile, mechanical and political
and many other converSatonS-all TO prepare the
mind for right reception OF the gospel. s.zll,e
2. Children taught to obey my commandments
by disobeying parents, roaming the streets like
gangs of young rowdies, profane the name of Deity
with impunity, call and then for glass of lip
PIERS fight like dogs, and lie to their parents as
though it were an objectionable transgression TO
tell the truth. r4-rs
3. Oh Sirs! with what pleasure l hail the
Sabbath breakers they pass the corner, and roam
the sheets in search of the open door of friend
where they may spend the day in most devout wor-
ship of Inc, by telling tales, back biting and calum
mating neighbors, and now and then INDUCING in
my chief enjoyment-a glass and game.
4. AS am in great love with the ladies, al
ways delight to be present at their tea pares-be-
cause, so many fine ones come together;-there is
Mrs. Telltale, Mrs. Mischief Madam Nonsense,
Mrs. Backbte, and host of Mrs. Hearsays,
Dontmentionsts, &C., all of whom do me good ser
vice by creating family quarrels, and neighbor-
hood wrangleS, that my cause Is advanced with
speed, without cost to me, and oil SO highly salts
factory. .
8. like to see young men, as they leave the
paternal roof to do for themselves, cast Of the adj
monitions OF an aged father, and treat the advice
and last charges of mother as though they were
the fangs of n serpent, and follow 'their good
sense in all things of Importance, for such soon
become my most loyal subjects, aiding me in lead
ing Others with them to the far famed prison, dun
geon and gallows.
6. l tike to Methodists neglect their class
meetings, Presbyterians their catechiSms, Lutheri
| ans their anxious bench, and Episcopalans their
prayer book, and in short-all the Bible, for then
| the seed most productive of my wishes, take deep
| root, and soon begin to reap an abundant har-
| vest Of fruit unto death. h'.i rz'i nGI
7. Mothers, charge you, to forget not 10 fire.
quently replenish the library of your daughters
with the choice tales and novels OF the day, for
wish to them educated in my choice literature,
and become connolsseurs in the science of coquet-
ry-all by way of qualification for prudent wives
and useful mothers. ls S.. g. q,
s. And last, i like marriages by elopement; first,
| because they open breach between parents and
children, which may never be closed; cause deep
seated malice, and wide spread SANDER: Andsec
ondly, because in the home of the bridegroom and
bride, generally soon find branch ofmy exchange
established in which the affections of the husband
are estranged from his wife, and he repays her
kindness by insults, loneliness and shame; which
brings remorse TO her bosom, pangs to her heart,
and beggary to her offspring. SATAN. G.
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