The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1852-01-01
WESTERLY, R. l., JANUARY /, 1852.

wake up the Professor an git us all turned
out o schule, yeu old pes.ilence."
Twig her narrative, Tom, and shell
MARVEL" suggested Ike.
All, that's the idea," said Tom anC
by giving Il scientific kink to the old cows
fly y-disturber, produced the desired effect.
Here's war yeu git yeur cheap meat
for boarders," sung out Ebenezer, as the
cow mounted the steps " come rite up and
tend prayers,' continued he " can't stand
them kinks in yeur pump handle, them's
the licks wot starts yeu, du Ter some more
so, Tom"
This way, eff yeu please, marm," said
Ebenezer as he led the now passive animal
along dark hall, better get out yeur
specs, marm, it's middlin dusky beaut
here"
They conducted the COW along until they
came along in front of small door, which
they opened and Ebenezer expressed it, as
his wish, that the old lady would make
herself tu hum," and affectionately wishing
her good night, and tenderly suggesting
that she had better haul them ere stockins
off afore she went tu bed, showed her into
the room, fastened the door, and took their
departure.
The next morning, on missing the COW,
the Professor instituted a general inquiry
among the students, but of course, not
jot of satisfactory information could be
obtained The following evening, Tom
procured jug of "rale ovid Irish red
eye," some oysters and the little nick
nacks which usually accompany them and
steaming bowl of milk punch was made,
which, together with the oysters, want very
bad to take. Thus things progressed for
more than week. Every day fresh in
quiries were made by the Professor as to
the whereabouts of his four legged treas
ure, and punctually every night witnessed
Ebenezer performing the well known
domestic duty, commonly denominated
"pailing the cow the proceeds of whose
udder, was speedily monopolized by our
punch-loving party.
"Ah, this is great country" remarked
Tom, on one of the evenings above refer
red to, as he was cozily seated at tn table
with his boon companions, the hot-punch
and stewed oysters emitting savory odor,
ga great country this there's good
deal of lard to the acre here ~
Vas, and the Professor used tn think
as how thar war a purity smart chance
o. grass tu the aker, L reckon" said Ebe-
nezer.
This little witty SILLY produced general
laugh and Ebenezer was toasted all
around
"Do you recollect, Ike, how the old
Sodomite towed Ebencz2r across the play
ground that night She elevated her
posterior extension and streaked it like the
forerunner of a clap Of thunder, but as
fast as she travelled, Ebonezer managed TO
keep within a ropes length of her, all the
while," said Tom.
"Oh, Ebenezcr's some on foot race"
said Ike as he lisurely slipped his punch.
Ebenezcr was partaking of his favorite
dish - mush in milk - and after going
through a swallowing process something
akin to hen eating wet dough, he cleared
his throat and drawled out:
"Wal, tu tell the truth ont, | did hev
tu step off mlddlin smart on that petickelar
occasion, but didn't bring her up s,a2nin,
agin that little saplin l guess she tho't
heaven and yearth war comm tugether."
"Well, speaking about the cow" said
Tom, 'how are we to get her Oft our
hands without being detected? :"
Efyeu'll just hold on till 1 get through
paying my devours tu this ere puddin an
milk, I'll endeavor tu shed little lite Oh
the subject" said Ebe.
"Du, eff yeu please,' said Tom.
Ebenczer slowed away his mush as fast
as his capacious jaws would admit of, and
having cleared his throat, wiped his mouth
with his coat sleeve, he assumed an easy
position in his chair and, with his usua
snail-like way Of expressing himself
drawled out:
cts my 'pinion that we mout git hel
off ontu parson Sleckcyes in the next room