The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1852-05-07
THE MAN WHO KNEW EVERYTHING.

A mighty knowing man was Caleb Page,
who kept the grocery at the forks of the road
near Woodchuck Creek, Scrag Hollow, in
the village of Hornville. No occurrence had
ever taken place, of all the particulars of
which Caleb did not possess thorough
knowledge, in the minutest detail. All mat
ters In the perspectivefwere anticipated, dis
cussed, arranged, satisfactorily disposed ofby
Caleb long before they took place. If a
heighborru into the store to communicate
What he believed to be a very recent piece of
leWs, ne would have the conceit taken out
OF him by being told by Caleb that he "had
heard it a week ago" Events of the past,
present and future, were all the same TO him;
his subiquitogs.uknowedge grasped and COW
cred tlletn alL him they were all stale
~ - :; 's;Sislis Eas mndsSis ssening Betwosli
! 81 Stevens AID Joe Stsh[Ibs. 81 bet Joe
couldn't ncnflus Caleb with any piece.of in
telligence; real or imaginary. Joe "toek all
such bets as THAI" The following evening,
81 and Joe, accompanied by two or three
more Of the "boys" at the village, who were
to help the thing along" and "fll in," pro-
ceeded to Caleb's store. After being COM
tortably seated here and there, on barrels,
boxes, etc, 81 opened the evening amuse-
ments by asking in manner that Indicated
he was cOntinuinga conversation commence
ed before they entered the store:-
$50 you say, Joe, that they caught him
last night"
ayes, sir, about seventeen minutes past
eight"
"Well, Joe, how far up the creek was it!"
''On Il careful consideration, should say it
was about three miles, or three miles and
quarter, perhaps half, up the said creek"
Caleb, who had not lost a word of the con-
versation, dropped his sugar scoop with as
tonishmeut, and opened his ears, for the boys
were talking about Il matter in which he was
not "posted up" The conversation continu-
"Well," Says 81, 'that couldn't a-been far
from Deacon Hunts"
"Jest so, answered Joe, sit was about eigh-
ty rods from Deacon Hunts hog-pen, in u
slaunchwise direction"
"Did you hear, joe" asked 81, with a
face as solemn as a gravestone, show much
lie they got"
"Yes, | did," replied Joe, with another face
as solemn as two grave stones, 81 hearn tell
that they got nigh upon sixty bar'ls ile."
The wags observed that Caleb was getting
eACcculHSly uucdSy, anu tftf'ulb oH'
swell, Silas, the insect was about 80 feet
long, and twenty-eight feet, and odd inches
broad, and thick in proportion"
81 Thought, Joe, that there was two on EN-"
''That's a fact; there was pair Of 'em, but
they only caught the he one"
q At this point OF the dialogue, Caleb became
so desperately excited that he could contain
himself no longer, and snappishly demanded
to know what'n thunder they were talking
about
"Why," said Joe, with we'll feigned aston
ishlnent, don't you know about their catch
ing that are -"
''That are what" peevishy snarled Caleb.
"Why, that are whaLe!" seriously answered
Joe Stebbns.
"a ,ohale!" exclaimed the bewildered Ca
Icb, shave they caught whale up the creek!"
"rhey haven't caught anything else" said
the imperturablc Joe.
"And how much lie did they get?" inquired
Caleb, as he recovered his wits.
"Ninety two bar'Is," replied Joe, forgetting
the amount he had previously mentioned
"Wel!" said Caleb, with slow deliberation,
md satisfied look, II am glad they caught
he ohalc, for heard they toere arter him!"
Joe paid the bet.