Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1852-12-08
THE VISITED VOTER.

..ssl7 THE VISITED VOTER.
A correspondent of the Now Orleans
Delta furnishes the following clever hit at
travelling candidates for Office. So,
One day, Just rs 1 was gong TO sitl
down to dine on nice fat capon that my
wife had laid upon the table. SAID capon
was Just large enough for her and me. j
and had pulled the cork out of the cool
bottle of claret, man walked up 10 the
gallery steps, hat in hand, bowing and
smoking, and says he, ''Good day, sir
this is Mr.. Timson, believe, sir?' Eyes.
sir, that is my name-take seat. SIR
s'Thank you, Mr.. Timson.'' said he, lay
ing his hat to one side. and planting
himself in chair, showing plain enough
that my fat capon was in danger. every
warm weather. said he. 'yery.'' said
/. .Shall L trouble you fer drink Of
water,'' said he ooh, no trouble, -
here, Polly" said 1, speaking TO a negro
girl, "here, Polly. go set the decanter
upon the sideboard; walk 10, sir, and
take something to stimulate the system"
"Well, really said he. 81 hardly ever
drink anything" ''0h, it won't hurt
you sir, said l, walk in, walk in..' He
he cast an eye upon my capons Mrs.
Timson saw the glance and turned pale
not that my dear wife begrndged the ca
pom, but she knew there was not enough
for three, and there was no time to cook
another. He took a stiff horn, and then
turned around and told me his name was
Grimkin, and that he was a candidate for
the Legislature. l told him l was glad
to make his acquaintance, and introduced
him to Mrs. Timson, who told him that
she was reyy glad 10 see him, (poor wo-
man, she told white one that time, but
hope God will forgive her for tin fact
I feel certain that he will, for she was
driven to it, You know, and invited
him to sit down and take dinner. Mrs.
Timson excused herself with the plea that
she had to go out and attend to a negro
child that had just taken very sick, (may
the guilty-that is the candidate-sutfer
for that sin, too, as 1 am confident it will
be the case, and left us to divide the ca
pon between us-she the dear one, di-
ming on mush and milk. Very little of
that capon did 1 eat, andycry little of my
cool claret passed my lips. / had Mr..
Grimkin's horse fed, too, and he kept me
up after dinner, talking about what he
meant to do when he got into the Legis-
lature, whilst 1 would have given more
for my after dinner nap than would for
all his principles and brains put together.
didn't promise to vote for him, but him
ted very strongly that way. The fact is,
l never heard of him before. Well, he
went away, and lay down on the gale
ry, and went to sleep. ag
had gone off into deep and glorious
snoozc, and was dreaming that huge
monster with forty heads, on each OF
which was great brass gimblet. la
rtinoceros,) had announced himself as a
candidate for all the offices in the gift OF
the people, when Mrs. Timson, (wbo
would no more have disturbed my sicsta
on an ordinary occasion, than she would
have cut off her little fnger,) tickled
nv nose with a feather, aud awoke in
a very bed humor. "D-n it all, Mrs.
Timson, my DEAR" said l, starting up
and rubbing my eyes, what the devil did
you disturb me for? Ell. Mrs. Timson?'
"Oh, don't speak SO loud" said she in a
whisper; "there's gentleman sitting IN
the parlor-another candidate" / put
on calm countenance, and walked in,
and there sat an intelligent, bright look
! ing young man, whom l saw at a glance
was gentleman disguised as a candidate.
He rose up and apologized very graceful
! ly for having disturbed me, and told me
that he was candidate that inexorable
custom compelled him 10 visit the people,
and that he wished TO occupy as little Of
their time, and give them as little trouble
as possible. "Sir," said with fervor,
+'you shall have my vote-you are a man
of sense-you are a gentleman. see
that, Notwithstanding your disguise, and
I'll vote for you, sirl What are your
politics, and for what Office do you run2'
He explained it all, and after L had pres
sed him to eat little dinner, and re-
, fresh himself at the sideboard, he LETT
l advised Mrs. Timson to have some ca
pons always dressed. and some claret al
ways cooling-and il was well / did so.
That night three candidates slept at my
house: one was running for Justice Of the
Peace, one for Constable, and the other
for Congress. They discussed the affairs
of the nation with considerable warmth,
until after midnight-the constable can
didate getting rather the best OF il, as
Mrs. Timson and / both thought. and then
went to bed, the whole three, as thought,
land Mrs. Timson remarked the same
thing rather tight. ..5.
The next day seven candidates visited
my house and ate with me, and four more
slept in my beds. Three had already re-
tired when the fourth came Mrs. Tim
SON had only two spare beds, therefore.
they slept two in bed About FIVE min
utes after had conducted the new conner
to the room where one of the candidates
was in bed, L heard tremendous racket
loud voices crashing of furniture
falling of bodies-and such a cursine and