The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1852-08-24
THE DAILY DISPATCH.
ABASHFUL MAN LOVE.


The Spirit Of the Times has some correspon-
dents, so it has; humorous fellows, who write
for the fun oft, and to excite fun in others
And they succeed, and too, with the aid of the
tallest of editors, the real Porter, makes the
Spirit the greatest paper published. Zone of
EN-" tells the adventures ofa bashful lover as
follows:
Ills name was Danphule; we use to call him
Jackass, for short Heaven help me if he
should see this story; | hope he does not get
the Spirit.
Among many Of his misfortunes, for he was
cock-eyed. red haired and nock-kneed, he
numbered the inconvenient one of bashfulness
nevertheless, he was fond of the ladies'; al.
though, " hen in their presence, he never OPEN
ed his mouth if he could help it, and when he
did speak, he used both hands to help him: in
tact, he was man of"great actions"
Jack, one warm day, fell in love; he had Just
graduated at college, and began to think he
must seek the ladies' society; he was getting
10 De man, and il was manly to have a
"penchant.'
SO Jack fell in love with the sweetest liveli.
est, mosthoydenish girl in the square; but how
TO tell hls love! there was the rub. He had
heard good deal of the Language ofthe eyes,"
ana be accordingly tried that, but when he
looked partlc ularly hard at the window where
persons on the other side of the street would in.
variably bow to him, thinking he was endeayor.
ing TO catch their eye. He has despised express.
slve eyes ever since then.
AT length Jack obtained an Introduction
through his sister, and with her he called sew,
eral times, but she was obliged to leave the city
for the season, and as each interview only in
creased his ardor, he determined on going il
alone.
Long before the hour fixed upon by custom
for an evening visit he found himself arrayed
in his best. Blue coat, metal buttons, black
cassimer pants, (said pants being q leehe tighter
than the skin,) and spotess vest.
The journals of the day state, as an item OF
intelligence, that the thermometer ranged from
IS to 50 degrees. Jack swears it was huns
dred
As the hour gradually drew near, Jack found
his perspiraton and his courage oozng out
togetner; and he almost determined to pull off
and stay at home. He concluded, however,
he'd take walk past the house, and see how
he felt.
By the time he reached the mansion, he firm
ly concluded not TO go in, but on casting his
eyes towards the parIor window and perceiving
no signs oflife. he thought it was probable that
no one was at home, and since he had proceed
ed so far, he would proceed further, and leave
his caro-.
No sooner determined than concluded. In
a reckless moment he pulled the bell; the
darned thing needn't make sucn a cuSsed
noise.
The door was opened as if BY magic, and
The servant girl politely asked him in. Miss
Emily was alone in the purlor, and would he
delighted to see him.
o Lord. here was fix! Go in dark par
lor with with pretty girl alone! 1t was too
late to retreat, the girl had closed the front
door, and was pointing into tine parlor where
Miss Emily was.
Being perfectly convinced that no choice
was left him., into the dark room he walked or
sided.
All was perfect chaos 10 his eyes for a
moment, but only for q momeniS then from the
deepest gloom came forth an angel voice,
bidding him welcome and draw near" To
obey the order was but the work of moment
as he supposed, but he little dreampt of the
obstacle W hich fate had thrown in his way
He knew too well that the stream of love had
many ripples, but full grown snags entered not
into his head. Judge then of his astonishment
at being trpped up almost at the fair ones
feet by fat stool with pethoric legs, which
chance or careless servant had placed exact
ly on his road TO happiness. Over he went
and as the tailor had not allowed for any
extra tension of tn muscles and sinews, he
not only procured d tumble but also a COM
pound fracture Of the black pants aforesaid,
said fracture extending all across that point
which comes in closest contact with the
chair.
Having picked himselfup as carefully as
circumstances would allow, the smoihered
laugh of Miss Emily not "setiing him forward
any," he at last succeeded in reaching chair
and drawing his coat-fails forward 10 prevent
10 O h
as much grace as bear would when request
ed dance upon pile Of needles.
The young lady was almost suffocated with
laughter at the sad misfortune of the bashful
lover, felt truly sorry for him, and used all
her powers of fascination 10 drive il from his
mind, and eventually succeeded so far as TO
induce him TO make a remark. On this rock
he split.
Just at that moment, she discovered she had
lost her handkerchief. What had become OF
il! She was sure she had it when be came
in. Ii must certainly be somewhere about.
"Havn't you got it under you, Mr.. Dan
phule?'
Jack was sure he had not, but poor Jack, in
venturlng an answer, could not possibly gel
along without raising his hands, and ofcourse
he must diop his coat tail. In this anxiety TO
recover the missing viper, he even ventured 10
inc line his body so as TO get glance on the
floor. AS he did so, The tracture opened, and
behold there lay, as the lady supposed, her
property.
1T was the work of moment TO catch the
corner and exclaim:
Here it is, sir, you needn't trouble your
self about il. Just raise liile, IFS under
you," ut the same time, she gave it long,
hard pull.
Alas, The tail was told no escape, nothing
short OF special interpositlon OF Providence
could save his shirt.
But what should he do Another and ano-
ther, stronger pull. evincing on the part OF the
lady praiseworIhy determination to o3te'n
the lost dry goods, coupled with the request:
"Get up, sir, you'Ie sitting on it," determin
ed him; and in the agony OF the moment, and
grabbing with both hands fast disappearing
strip of linen which encircled his neck, he ex-
clalmed:
For Gods sake, Miss Emily. leare my
shirt collar ~
A HAUNTED HOUSE-THE CATASTROPHE.
Correspondence q the Picayune
DEMoPoIIs. Ala, august 7, 1909.
H.. ant