New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1852-10-11

| turnplke-cakeS, and was soon piungeu up to
the elbows in my labor of love. had very mis-
taken ideas though upon the subject Of bread,
and its capabilities Of rising; | supposed that
very minute piece Of dough would bake into
pretty loaf, and was extremely surprised when
beheld only an extensive tea-cake Mr.. $
| laughed good naturedly at my baking, and pro-
nounced it very well, what there was Of it.
Anxious to distinguish myself in his eyes as
good housekeeper, [ toiled over pies, cake and
every thing eatable that could think of; but,
alas the need Of praise always fell short of my
expectations. lie dispatched the pies with
| mournful air, as he assured me That he never
/ expected to taste any equal to his mothers;
and after trying in vain to reach this standard
of perfection, gave up in despair. This, have
since found, is merely o deusion peculiar to
men, to be classed in the same scale with the
fancy that sermons were longer and winters
merrier in childhood than they are now.
".My experience of ministers has convinced
me that, with respect to worldly matters they
are an extremely thoughtless, improvident race;
and the machinery Of ,0ork, Indispensable to the
producing of comforts, always contrives to get on
the 'f blind side of them. Mr.. S. seemed
to imagine that shining shirt -bosoms and spot
less crayatG grew on trees, or were asheJl Up,
unharned, from the depths Of the sea, for every
week his astonishment at Bddys failures was
indescribable.
| fsAnxious to put an end to this perpetual state
of surprise, | went into the kitchen to oversee
the girls erformances-knowinga about as much
of the matter as she did Her request, and
would ye plaze, ma'am, to be afther showin'
me- just meant to do it myself. The sensations
that Mr.. S. experienced on finding me thus
employed were almost too deep to vent them
selves in words, but he positively forbade my
doing it again SO, whenever ! knew that he
was off ON some lengthy visit, | continued my
mysterious occupation unsuspected: while he
| rnlGlcpd at Ri11v's nd in fha in.
nocence of his heart exclaimed:
| ''Don't tell me, my dear, that these Irish
cannot be taught-looB at Biddy!
g did look at her, and encountered so hope
lessly vacant a visaee that laughed to myself
at his credulity.
''l was invited, rather cOmnlanded, to join
| 'Ehe Uorcas Society for the Relief Of INDECENT
Females which met every week, and where the
members always sewed on unbleached muslin
and slxpenny calico; they made me president,
and in consequence [ was expected, at each
meeting, to take home the unfinished work and
do 1t up during the week. | was collector for
the poor-and in my rounds some gave me six
pence, some nothing, and some i1npudence.
was superintendent Of the Sunday school, be-
sides teacher Of a Bible-class of middle aged
young ladies who were not quite grown up.
was member of a Society for the Diffusion Of
Useful Reading which also met every week and
where, had not been minister wife, should
certainly have fallen asleep over the 'Exhorta-
tions,' Helps, Aids and Addresses that were
showered upon US poor women while wonder
ed that nobody took the trouble to write to men,
" You must acknowledge that my time was
pretty we'll employed but. besides all this, |
was expected to entertain innumerable visitors
Travelling clergymen always made our house
their stopping-place; and it must have been
conveniently on the route to almost every place
in the Union; for some were going North some
1,,jc Wnut I,1t+ hat, Ho1 ,.l,z
halting- place. Their hours of arriving were
various and unexpected; but / was expected to
furnish banquets Mt the shortest notice-to drag
forth lnexhaustble stores Of linen and bedding
and throw open airy apartments that had
hitherto been concealed by secret springs. Mr.
s. was firmly convinced that the house pos
sessed the elastic properties of India rubber,
and mildly disregarded my Ignorance when /
asserted that it would not stretch to any extent
g A convention of ministers was to meet in
the village, for some purpose or other, and tht
visitors, like British soldiers during the revolu
ton, were to be quartered upon the inha btant.
with only this difference, they were to be in
vited before they entered house. l was seated
in Mr.. SIS study when he mentioned the
| ministers.
s:'I spoke for you, too, my dear said lie
roolly. and said that we could accommodate six.
'''Mr, S-F / exclaimed, reused past all
endurance are you really crazy'
| -Ahud isIIiei NY luSDdnl, us ne turned
his eyes upon me- Mr.. S. was usually very
mild, and appeared to think that a look was
sufficient to subdue refractory spirits. He now
undertook to look me into reason while /, fair
ly boiling at the idea of being treated like a
naughty child, and yet struggling with sense
of right and wrong, sat with downcast eyes try
ing in vain to get cool.
'''I hope continued Mr. S., that nv
wife has not forgotten the rules of hospitality.
| or the DreceDtS of the Bible =
/ But tits so impossiblen pleaded. Neither
beds nor snything else will hold out under such
an inundation.'
"tRemember the widows cruise of OIL replied
my husband.
':.Yes,' said l. for felt just the least bit ter
magantish, 'but such things do not happen now
a-days.
Mr.. S. looked again. and 1 was 1uieted,
though l felt very much like laughing.
'''One can sleep on the sofa,' continued nv
husband, after pause.
" 1t w!,s the nearest approach toward calcu-
lating probabilities that had ever known him
to make; hut took somewhat of wicked plea
sure in replying,
'''Not if he is very tall-and then he would
probably roll out, it is so narrow and, after ALL
that is only one
"'Chairs suggested Mr.. S..
''Don't you think said l, rather hesitating-
ly. that they would rather go where they could
be better accommodated ?
Gamma said Mr.. S., as he deliberately
laid down his pen, I am really sorry to see you
so unwilling to contribute your mite toward en-
tertaining those who should be welcome guests
in every house,
"'0fite, indeed = thought but that sound
ed better in u sentence than 'superhuman eff
forts
Mr.. S., said |, in sort of frantic hope
OF reducing him to reason, there are exactly
two spare beds in the house-and these divided
among six full grown men are not very extern
sive accommodations
''My husband turned upon me look, more
in sorrow than in anger, and left the room, as
imagined, to examine stock of blankets
and comtortables. But not he; he only went to
look for book of reference and soon was wri-
ting again, as calmly as though six ministers
were not lowering over us in perspective.
81 sat like one bewildered and thought Mr.
S. would not imagine the possibility of our
not being able to accommodate them; and |
toresaw that all the blame of failure would
fall upon me, Had they only been girls,
could have disposed of them somehow; but the
idea of packing away six grave ministers, like
so many bundles, was quite repugnant to my
feelings Of reverence. | thought, however, in
vain--there was no conclusion to come to; moth
ing left for me but inglorous retreat In spite
of having taken him for better or for worse
Notwithstanding that had vowed to cling to
him through every thing-l deserted him in his
- Al.