Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1852-06-30
THE MAN THAT GOT HUMBUGGED.

and, dinner over, we were awaiting the
arrival OF the stage upon an interesting
route, to proceed upon our Journey. Ci.
gars had been lighted, and by way of pas.
sing our time, we had commenced a criti-
cal examination of the mammoth pictorial
posters of Barnum's Menagerie which CO.
Nercd the walls of the spacious bar.room
Barnum's name opened fruitful topic o
conversation ; every one present seemed
stored with anecdotes of the Napoleon OF
Showmon, and the Wolley Horse, tho
Feejee Mermaid, and Joyce Heth were
not forgotten in the discussion which fol-
lowed.
Suddenly, long, slab-sided individual,
with an owl.likc expression ofwisdom and
dignity, who had been listening to our
remarks, with an evident desire to take a
hand, broke out
L" s'pose you think that's an ALFRED
big concern I! Anybody would that had
mt seen it,"
' Then, l suppose you have seen it?"
said my legal friend.
Haas, | seen it at Springfield was
the reply, Its a aamcd AumJugn
Is it possible?' said the Major, seeing
prospect of fun. Z" Couldn't you
oblige us with a description of the insti-
tuition ?"
Certainly" said Jonathan; here's
the stage, and as soon as we get started,
III give you all the items. They can't
humbug me very often, and when they
do, | calklatc to advertise for 'em till l
set square"
In IL few minutes we were under way,
and our vcrdant friend commenced unbo-
soming himself.
eyer see, Barnum was going to show
his caravan down to Springfield on the
Fourth Of July, and tho't there would
be good chance to celebrate ihe day and
see the elephant both at once. What |
wanted to sec more than all the rest was
the Car of Jugglenot, drawn by II string
'of elephants"
Did it meet your expectations
&C. never seed one side ont. Before
got in town, they'd got all through pa
din, the elephants was embarrassed, and
the Car of Jugglenot was into q woodshed.
made up my mind right off then, that
the hull concern was II humbug"
"Was Barnum aware" l asked, "that
you were in town ?"
Not as / know" was the answer.
"If he had known it," added the Ma
jor, "hc would doubtless have waited
But you visited the exhibition, sup
pose %
"Of course was bound to do that, il
lit bust me. That was n bigger humbug
than all the rest"
"How so %
"Why, in the first place l expected to
see Jenny Lind"
"Was she announced in the bills ?"
81 Idon't know l didn't read 'em, but
axed the man that stuck up the pictures
if she'd be there, and he said yes, and
that she'd sing the bird song, standing on
the top of a cage of cockatoos and par
rots. She want there, and never seed
one side on her--an' then knew'd the
whole consarn was humbug.
"Well, then, went round and took a
look at the elephants-hard work to get
round tu there was morn hundred
thousand people in the tent. got where
they was, and the folks was all feedin 'cm
with apples and cakes and things, had
some doughnuts in my hat so l held it
out to one of the darned things, to see if
he'd take one"
- Did he take one %
"He took IN all, and tho hat TT, stuck
'em in his nasty peaked mouth and begun
"a eatin'. hollored to the keeper, an told
him it was bran new hat. He said ne
.ger mind, he'd got it again."
Z" Did he get it %
eyes, he got it, but hat amt much
,accouut after an elephants chawed it,
Then I'd sworn the hull consarn was a
humbug, Well, 1 took look at Tom
Thumb and the Ceylong Chief, and the
man that fddled with his toes, and the
dsller that went in with the lions. The
wild animals was we'll enough, but did
MT see as they looked any different from
any body else's. IcEpcctcd Barnum's IL
ons would be twice as big as any others.
There was ono thing though that WAS fust
rate that was the wax statuary-espe.
,cially the 'intemperance family, 1 told
the man that TUX care oft, wished eve
rybody that had ever drinked drop of
sperrits, had to stand and look at that
about a week-they'd never want to
drink again. He said he wished so tu.
"Take It all in all, though, 1 was mad
didn't see what 1 expected, and didn't
like the idee of being humbugged, so /
inquired of one of the men that was STIR
rim up the monkeys where Barnum was,
and he pointed him out to me, sellin' le-
monade out of a wagon. 1 went up tn
him, and thinks l, I'll give him a piece
Of my mind. Sez =