The Democratic sentinel and Harrison County farmer. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1851-1852, 1851-11-05
THE SOIREE!!
BY J. r. PORTER.
Or, My Misfortunes at a Party.

81 was not shaped for sportive tricks.
Normade to court an smOrous looking glass" +"
/ There is no period in a persons life more
awkward or embarrassing, than when he
divests himself of the trammels and confine-
ment Of school-boy's life, and takes lis
station in the world-his own lord and mas
ter.
Neither my education, habits nor taste,
fitted me for fashionable life. Nature had
done sill less ior me for while al school,
enjoyed The reputation Of beng called he
usliest looking boy in the village. My mo-
der has offer old me, that when babe
was trigh.iu 20 look upon, but she then com
torJcd herself with he old adaye hat ''an
ugly cihd chon.eI 10 handsome mai" I"
Bu' a$-t grew III years, my uslines expand
ed INTO hIdcousneSs, SO hat when left my
pa,ernal roof, was considered The eighth
wonder OF the world.
At eighteen | obtained situation in re-
tail dry good store--and with a light heart
and willing hands, engaged with much as
siduity in my new vocation. had been
in B. about month, when one night as
II came to my boarding house, note was
handed me by the servant The pink pa
. per, the green sealing wax, and the general
appearance of the note, quite startled me,
and it was several moments ere / was suffi-
ciently composed to open it-however, l
regained my self-possession, broke the seal,
and read -
"Mrs. Kemp requests the pleasure of Mr..
Michael Snider's company, on Wednesday
evening, twentieth inst"
The Kemp family was one of the most fa-
shionable in the city My father became
acquainted Mr.. K. the winterhe was sent as
Representative to the General Court, and is
said to have assisted him very materially in
passing favorite measure through the house.
The next morning l held a consultation
with my friends, as to the propriety Of ac-
Icepting or refusing the invitation. gave
the note to the oldest clerk, and requested
his advice. He read the billetdeaux very
carefully, then measuring me with his eyes
from head to foot, he burst cut into an intol-
cradle fit of laughter. ..g E ri. ay Gs
" | wonder what the duce you would look
like at party :; why you will frighten every
lady out of the room. However; 90 by all
means--you will make an assortment; but
take care Of yourself, and / will give YOU a
few lessons before you make your debut"
# Such was the kind advice Of my friend
andl was soon persuaded to accept the in
vitation, and retired TO the desk to write an
answer But here was trouble. had new
er written note in my life !; for in our vii
lsge when party was to be given, one OF
the house walked round and gave verbal
invitation to the guests, and made them say
whether they would come or not as mother
said, people wanted to know how much cake
to make and how many walnuts to crack.
However, an answer must be given. In the
first place took sheet of foolscap paper,
and with my penknife cut an exact pattern
of the note had received then ruling four
lines with my thumb nail, ! requested one
of the clerks to mend a pen for me, and
went to work. @ 3llse.j
Twill not describe the agony suffered du-
ring one weary hour, in attempting to reply
to this note, A dozen sheets OF paper de-
faced before | was able to write q decent an
swer. either began too near the top of the
paper--or left out a word d---or in referring
to the dictionary | found had mis-spelled /;
lin fine, / had nearly exhausted all my pa
per and patience, when new version struck
me, which thought proper. .tt
Ibegan again, and wrote the following
Dear Madam got your note last ev-
enings asking me to your house next We'd
nesday; and as father told me to get into
good company if could, | guess I'll come.
Your friend, t MICHEL SNIDER."3
| i saw no improprlety in this diction--so /
folded the note, sealed it with wafer, and
havingn no one to obey my summons, | was
Obliged to leave it myself, on my way home
at night. gtet..A A. s.Mr.ff s..k. ...
In dressing for the party, when night came
my knees began to tremble, and my whole
body SUFFERING gHunder such excitement, that
one would have supposed that was under
the operation of gaivanic battery. In the
act OF shaving, | lacerated my face in sew
eral places; in brushing my teeth, used
the shaving brush, instead OF the proper i'm
plement. washed my hands with the tooth
|powder-brushed my hair with the shoe
brush; in fact, my wits were SO disordered,
that was unconscious Of the Office was
performing ' ' :" 4ssA''pv 7s'S P7
. After various reverses succeeded n ar
ranging my dress to my satisfaction, and as
I viewed myself in the glass, became more
composed--feeling convinced that never
before appeared to 50 much advantage. My
tailor had indeed exercised to perfection his
talent in making, what he termed good tit
My coat was of blue broad cloth, ornamented
Iwith brass buttons of enormous circumfer-
tGnce. The waist OF the coat evinced strong
inclination to take its seat between my shout
dersy while the top Of my collar formed near
Fly dead level with the crown of my head
The sleeves fitted very tight to the arm, but
whether from mistake or fashion they barely
concealed my wrist, and left the whole hand
exposed, My~yest was of woollen, and had
q dark ground. but stripes of red and yellow
relieved its otherwise dail appearance. MY
trousers were Of red mixed color. cut after
the Turkish fashion; nice pair of white
woolen stockings coveredthe immense length
Y oflmy feet. made still longer by the prevail
I ling fashion Of having thepump an inch longer
than the foot, 80 that my body appeared sci
on runners, A snow-white cravat surround
) ed my neck. while the stiff starcbed collar
I stood firmly Up under my ears, III though
1 lmy head depended upon that for suppart.
Il Thus equipped, J. paced my room till sew
i en- o'clock; and suppcsing this 10 be the
d aIpropeF hour to make my ebsisanos to lire
d Kemp, started fer her honss. The niqhi
j was rainy and boisterous in the extreme
land netSishine Oinoassasdxpsnss # eOASi