The Portsmouth inquirer. [volume] (Portsmouth, O. [Ohio]) 1849-1855, 1851-07-14

A Plea for Bores.
snnerfcial observers, OF men and things,
lsrien condemn, as altogether bad, indiyid-
bsis and classes, when closer analysis Of
their character, and candid reflection upon
their uses, would lead to q different verdict.
And we are inclined to believe that grea,,
Injustice has been done TO that much spussI lss',
class. called boyes Torrents Of rldieuie sllp
"a Il asni have been poured we Y. conlsss 2 I
to, having noured our share upon poies,
anil, ,thsv Raye been universally ra'ed as Daa
nasn,hs1s ~ society, for whose conduct
.,a, ~ ,,hnseT u ~ existence, there could
So hey ~ |" ~ n noogy. But, Notwithstanding
o.x Se iouliu ~ dsnunciatioi Of bores, we
.h:., ,hs y sso1ld Be somewhat difficult task
~ ,,'nn ,.ovs - Them morally culpable criminals,
IL III as almost every writer who has
,y;sided q loen would have US belieye.
In the first place, the fact that thls class
have always existed, that the lndlvldusis Of
the class have enjoyed long and placid lives,
proves that Providence intended them tor
some use in the economy Of the world .-
Some will Immediately say in reply 10 this,
that the wicked are suffered to live long, TO
wax fat and kick, to spread themselves like
The green bay tree, but, let them remember
that this prosperity is enjoyed only bycer7
tain individuals and not classes, that is ex-
sceptional, that the Judgments OF Heaven
suddenly oyertake the wicked, sometimes,
thai the bitter fruits OF sin are scattered con-
tinually into the mouths OF ITS yolarles, ana
that conscience is continually dong us
work in the bosoms OF the gullty put
what calamity overtakes the bore .Wnen
was he ever swallowed by an. earthquake,
or overwhelmed by the whirlwindsY The
bore is never struck. by lightning while par-
suing his vocation, and ss for conscience, ne
is hardly conscious Of possessing one we
will not however, deal with negative argu-
ments, when SO much of positive cAarac-
ter can be urgedin defence OF this 'persecu-
ted class
We would remark then that the bore Is
altogether lacking in the very essense o.
criminality--the vital element OF ilnnlotai
conduct--viz., Tad motives or intentiohS,--
The bore has no malice in his heart, wnen
boring one. The mildest Of his terebration
is when he acts thoughtlessiy, without any
motive whateyer-but his most compete
and triumphant 1indication is found In the
fact that when he bores one most etfectuai
ly and most unendurably, he does 1t from we
best motives, and actually believes thad I, ne
is giving one the greatest pleasure! Inc
experience Of any person who mas DELI , y
bored half day, will testify to the rum
of this assertion. The charge OF CRIMINAL
intent, of immortality, falls to the ground
1t is stamped with absurdity upon Its very
face.-There is no such thing as malicious
bore. 4 The moment he is actuated ~ NAL
ice. he ceases to be bore, and you treat
him accordingly II there were such.a thing
as malicious bores, they would be kicked
down stairs; their noses would be tweaked !;
they would be cowhided and banished from
society: they would not be tolerated ten
minutes But it most commonly happens
that ones greatest bores are ones oesl
friends, and the Kindness OF their motives
pre-, ents one from tweaking their noses or
kicking them down stairs--lrom even treat
ing them with GOODNESS. AS they are the
most kind and best natured fellows IN the
world, and are actuated by motives posi-
lively good, how can we call them bad?
Bores have their uses too, in tins world,
hateful as they seem. To them, beyond any
class, are editors of newspapers indebted
for subjects spicy articles and paragraphs.
They are the fints which, in collision with
tbeeditor's steel (pens,) eliminate sparks Of
wit tha. else would never flash in editorial
columns. Surely the dullness that is SO Of
ten the exciting cause of brilliant corrusca-
tions of wit, can be pardoned, (, lgs
But TO us, 1t seems, that the great moral
use of bores, is in the development and
growth of christian virtue, Patience. The
patience of Job did not shine with full lus-
ire until his three friends, after having KEEP
silence seven days, began to bore him with
theology. And we Should look in vain foI
our modern examples Of patience overtop,
ping that Of JOHN comparison with which
his shrinks into dwarish insignifcance.- =
Indeed is somewhat probable that the pa,
tience of Job would have broken down un
der the assault of the modern bore. Hi!
three friends conversed with him on impor
tant matters. They reasoned on subjects
pertinent to his case or condition at the
time. They attacked him. polemicalIy, ant
he had the privilege ofmeasuring arguments
with them, all of which tended 10 preven
his mind from stagnating in the gulf whert
his possessions had sunk. But the moderr
bore exceeds those of the ancient stamp al
greatly as the patience of modern Jobs ex
ceeds that of their ancient prototype. W.
can now have patience cultivated 10 tht
rankest growth tha. our human spiritual ma
ture is capable of producing -through III.
ministrations OF bores.
Let declaimers against bores take heet
then, lest they be found fighting against al
institution designed to promote the best in
terests of mandind. - Yankee BLADE.
Rum and Tobacco.
There's couple Of beauties, worthy reader
for ,.o,,r consideratinn this morning How