The Democratic sentinel and Harrison County farmer. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1851-1852, 1851-08-13
A Yankee in a Cotton M.

"A xanKee In q cotton M1ns
Did you ever see, read or hear tell Of a
real, genuine, live Yankee being in cotton
mill? Didn't eh? Well ace did, and if you
viii just wait minute we viii tell you all
about it.
The plain unvarnished facts In the case,'
as politicians say, 'are these:-A raw, straw
hated, sandy whiskered six-feoter--one of
the purely uninitiated- came in with a load
of wood for the Factory Company Having
tpiled his wood to the satisfaction Of the
Squire" he baited his team with bundle
of green grass, brought all the way for that
purpose. Then after investing his available
capital in the purchase Of root beer and giR-
gerbread, he started to see the city, filing his
countenance rapidly with bread, and chew
ing it vigorously as he went
! He reviewed the iron foundry and machine
| shop, and was Just opposite the warp-Tnill as
the 'hands were going in from dinner. The
girls were hunying in as only factory girls
can hurry, and Jonathan unaccustomed to
such an array of plaid shawls and hood bon
nets, went in 'to see what the trouble was
The clatter Of the machinery and the
movements of the operatives soon absorbed
his whole attention. Being Of an inquiring
turn Of mind, and seeing much THAT was caI-
culated to perplex one whose observations
had been confined to threshing machines
and cornshellers, he began to push his in
quiries, In this way he made himself ac-
lquainted with all the external and Internal
economy Of 'pinker,' 'beater,' 'lapwinder,
'doubler and speeder.' BY two o'clock he
had extended his researches as far as the
breakers and fnishers'
He had reached the latter Just as the card
Estripper was stripping the flats" In this
operation the cylinder Of the card is exposed
to view, aud is seen revolving with very
pretty buzz. Not satisfied with comtempla-
I ting the poetry of motion at safe distance
our hero must needs introduce himself be-
tween the cards to get nearer view, this
move brought his neither habilaments' into
dangerous proximity to the gearing Of The
next card, and thereby hangs tale
You, say. She goes pooty, don't she
Boss? said Jonathan enquiringly
She don't do any thing else, responded
the stgipper. But you must be careful how
you m6ye around amongst the hardware
Only last week, sir, promising young man
from Oxford--a student at the Academy here
was drawn into that very card, sir, and be-
fore any assistance could reach him, he was
run through and manufactured into No. 10,
super extra cotton warp yarn
L s-s-s-wowi believe you're jokinY
Istuttered Jonathan.
Fact, sir continued the stripper, .and his
dsconsolate mother came down two daysago,
got five punches Of the yarn, as melancholy
relies
by mighty! that can't be trueF
Fact, sir, factl and each of his fellowst
dents purchased askein apiece, to set in lock-
cts, and wore in remembrance of departed
worth
is that a fact, now; was he really carded,
spun and set in lockets? A sense ofperson-
| al danger here shot across our hero's mind,
and he began to retreatprecipitately without
waiting for an answer.
| There wasnotmuchr to spare between
himself and the gearing Of the card behind.
another step backwards completed the cere-
Imony of introduction. His unwisperables
being of large 'calibre,' the process ofsnar-
ling them into knot was no ways slow
Our hero gave tongue instanter, and by tho
twentieth gyration Of embodiment, the music
was melodious. His explosive tones we're
scientific, and did honor to bis knowledge Of
dynastics. Gen. Scott hinisefcould nothave
protested more foreibly against an 'attact on
/ his rear
| 'O-h! M-u-r-d-e-rl let gol you HURT
Blast your pictur let gol Amt you ashamed
Get out-taint pooty. Darnation seize you!
Let alone on me-can't yei--doH
|. The gearing by this time had wound him
up SO that he was obliged to standon tip toe.
His hands were revolving vigorously behind
him, but he dare not venture them too near
the 'seat of war least they should be drawn
into hostilites.
The card stripper threw off the belt, but
the momentum Of the cylinder kept Il revolt
wing, and our hero supposing il in full opera
ton, burst out anew:
sOh, stop her! dol amt we'll and orter
be to hum. Father wants the steers, and
mothers going to bake!--stop that tarnal
mashen--ean't We, dol Hain'tye gosnofeel-
I in for feller in distress? Oh dear iii be
carded and spun, and made into locketsl
Jerusalem! How wish was 70 hum
4 The card was stopped atlast, but Jonathan's
! clothes was SO tangled in The gearing thai II
\ was no, slight Job to extf1cate him. Like
\ Othello he was not easily moved, and itwaS
only by cutting out the whole Of the 'invcs-
ted territory, that he was finally released.
4 What are you about here?' said theover-
seer entering.
Nothing, sir, only strippinghats, answer
} ed the stripper.
Il Our hero not caring to resume his pursilt
of knowledge under difiicultiess pair Of
oyerhauls were charitably loaned to him, End
/ he scattered suddenly towards Mill Hill, giE,
ms a series Of short kicks with either legion
his way, asif to assure himself that he had
brought away his full compliment " limbs
from the 'ctlssed machine.
R:y- Why are there three objections tota-
king glass Of brandy Ans Because
There are three scruples to each dram.