Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1851-07-17
An Alphabet of Signs.

Soon after the " British Solomon" James
the First, arrived in London, the Spanish
Ambassador waited on him; man oil
great GOOD sense and erudition, but who
had his head full of CROCHET, that there
should be language of signs universally
applicable, and that every country Should
have professor at some university to teach
it, so that those who went upon Foreign
Mission, might be everywhere understood
and understand each other.
The king, who could not let foreigner
think there was anything of the possible
wanting in the country where he got the
learning that placed him above all human
beings, said -" Hoot, man, l have
Professor of Signs in my maist northern
college of Aberdeen" The Ambassador
Immediately declared his determination
to see him and the king, finding himself
caught, after trying what could be done
to put him off by the badness of the roads,
the wildness of the country, and the dam
ger of being caught in the Grampians by
snow storm-it was the depth of winter
to no purpose, was obliged to write to the
Professors, telling them the case, and leav-
ing it so their ingenuity to get him out OF
the scrape.
When the Ambassador had arrived, duly
accredited, his first enquiry was after the
Professor of Signs. Oh he was absent
--in the Western Highlands--nobody
could tell when he would return. "
shall watt" said the Ambassador. This
would not do he was in their way, and
there was trouble and expense in entertain
ing him, so they got hold of old "deordie
Nicholl"-a butcher, blind of all eye
but whose droli cunning was far-tamed,
told him the matter, that he was to be the
Professor of Signs, but on no account to
utter word.
SO they rugged and gowned Geordle,
placed him in one OF the Professors rooms,
in chair of state, surrounded by books,
globes, maps, and drawings, and, in a
body, accompanied the Ambassador to his
venerable presence. The Ambassador was
told the Professor would converse only by
signs SO he held up one finger to Geor-
die Immediately Geordie held up two of
his. The Ambassador then held up three ;
and instantly Geordie clenched his fist, and
looked stern.
The Ambassador next took an orange
from his pocket and held it up to Geordie ;
upon which Geordie pulled a lump Of bar
ley scOne out of his, and held it up to the
Ambassador, who bowed with great digni-
ty. which Geordie returned with equal So
Iemnity--and retired with the Professors
They asked him his opinion of their broth.
er. He is perfect miracle" said The
Ambassador WELL" said the Profess
sors, 6" to descend to particulars 7" " well,
saId the Ambassador, " | first held up ONE
finger, denoting that there is one God he
held up two, indicating that the Son is
God as well as the Father held uE
three, meaning that there are Father, Son
and Holy Ghost and he clenched his fist
as much as to say, These three are one.
] then held up an orange, signifying the
goodness OF God, for these delicious fruit'
grow in my country but he held VI
bread, the staff of life, the produce of every
country
he Professors having got rid OF thu
Ambassador-glad that matters had passed
off SO well next took up Geordie to com,
to version of his signs. Well, Geor
die" said they, "what think you of yol
gentleman 2" "The rascal !" said Geor
die, " he held up one finger, as much a
to say you have only one eye; but he'll
up two, to tell him my one was worth hi
two. Then the scoundreI held up thre
fingers, meaning that we had but tire
between us an | was SO mad that
strieket my neive, as much as to say, tax
care, gin come whack, lest put on
bath yours. Nor did the rascal stop here
he took out all orange, as much as TO say
your beggarly country can't produce tina
But I showed him whang o hammock, t
tell him did ma care a farthing for hiI
an his trash as lang's | hae this. But, b
a that's guild" continued Geordie, "Pr
angry wi myself did ma thrash the hid
n; him -