Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1851-12-04
u artctp.
An Electioneering Speech.

AS the time of election approaches, our
candidates may find something available in
the following model Speech" delivered
by Mr. Daniel r. Russell, the Union can
dIdate tor Auditor, at the late election in
Mississippi. Swan was his competitor and
the Secession candidate, and, according to
the Tuscaloosa Monitor, from whence we
get the report, he was sorely puzzled for an
appropriate reply. The speech is a rare
specimen of American humor:
Ladies and Gentlemen: rise-but there
IS no use of telling you that you know
am up as we'll as do am modest man
-very-but | have never lost picayune
by it in my life Being a scarce commodi-
ty among candidates, | thought l would
mention it, for fear if didn't you never
would hear it.
Candidates are generally considered as
nulsances, but they are not they are the
pcIitest men in the world, shake you by the
baud, ask you how's your family, what's
the prospects for crops, &c, and am the
polteSt man there is in the state. Davy
Crocket says the politest man he ever saw
when he asked man to drink turned his
back so that he might drink as much as he
pleased L beat chat all hollow; give
man chance to drink twice if he chooses,
Tor not molly turn round, but shut my eyes.
am not only the politest man, but the best
electloneerer. You ought to see me shak-
ing hands with the variations--the pump
handle and pendulum, the cross Gu and
wIggIe waggIe. 1 understand the science
perfectly, and if any of the county candid
ates wish instructions they must call on me.
Fellow citizens, was born--if | hadn't
been wouldn't have been candidate but
am going to tell You where twas not in
Mississippi, but twas on the right side of
the negro line; yet that's no compliment
as the negroes are mostly born on the same
side. | started in the world as poor as a
church mouse, yet came honestly by nv
poverty, for | inherited it; aud if / did
start poor, no man can say bnt that have
held my own remarkably welt.
Candidates generally tell you, if you
think they are qualified, &c. Now | don't
ask your Thoughts; ] ask your votes. Why,
there's nothing TO think of, except TO wat h
and see that Swans name is not on yonr
ticket. Ii so, think to scratch it off, and
put mine on, am certain that am COM
petent, for who had ought to know better
than | do? Nobody. | will allow that
Swan is the best Auditor in the State-that
is, till ] am elected; then, perhaps it's not
proper for me 10 say anything more, Yet,
as an honest man, | am bound to say that
believe its a grlevous sin to hide anything
from my fellow citizens; therefore, say
that's it's my private opinion, publicly ex-
pressed, that III make the best auditor ever
in the United States.
IT'S not for honor wish to be Auditor,
for in my own county | was offered an of.
fee that was all honor-Coroner-which
respectfully declined The Auditors office
is worth about $4,000 a year, aud J. am in
for it like thousand of brick. To show
my goodness of heart, I'll make this offer
to my competitor | am sure of being cleo
ted, and lie will lose something by the can
vass; therefore | am willing 10 divide equal
ly with him, and make these two offers
III take the salary, and he may have the
honor; or he may have the honor, and I'll
take the salary.
In the way of honors have received e.
nough to satisfy me for life. went out to
Mexico, ate pork and beans, slept in the
rain and mud, and swallowed every thing
except live Mexicans. If ordered to go
l went; charge charged; break for
the chaparral,' you had better believe beat
a quarter nag in doing my duty.
my competitor Swan, is bird of golden
plumage, who has been swimming for the
last four years in the Auditors pond, at
S5,OOO year. am for rotation. want
to rotate him out, and to rotate myself in.
There's plenty of room for Nun TO swim
outside of that pond theI efore pop in your
votes for me; III pop him out, and pop
myself in.
| am for division of labor, Swan saws
he has to work all the time, with his nose
down to the public grindstone. Four wears
must have ground it to pint. Poor fellow!
the public ought not to insist on having the
handle of his mug ground clean off have
large, lull grown, and well.bown nose.
red as a beet and tough as sole leather. |
rush TO the post of duty. l offer it up as a
sacrifice. l clap it on the grndstone.-
Fellow.ctizens, grind away-grind till |
boiler enaf, and that will be sometime first,
tor III hang like grim death to dead AT
rican.
Times most out. Well, like to forgot
to tell you my name Its Dduiel-for short.
Dan. Not handsome name, for nv par
ents were poor people, who lived where the
quality appropriated all the nice nam cs ;
therefore they had to take what was left and
divide around among US; but it's as hand.
some as am--R Russell. Remem.
Der, every one of you, that it's not Swan.
l am sure to be elected so, one aud all
great and small, short and tall, when YOU
come down to Jackson, after the election.
stop at the Auditors office; the Iatchslring
always hang out; enter without knocking:
take Oft your things and make Yourself a.
home. ~ 0'' ~
Dan crawfshed out of the stand bob.
6lng MS head like tip.np. amio the cheers
i ior Dan" " A D m Russell" and Yonng
"Davy CrOckeu."l w -O0's
al =