The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1851-12-18
From the Boston Carpet Bag.
The Man W no Knew Everything.
-tyery like a whale. ."--Shaks.

-tVery like whale. ."--Shaks.
A mighty knowing man was Caleb Page
who kept the grocery at the fork of the road
near Woodchuck creek, Scrag Hollow, II
village of HornYille. No occurrence had
ever taken place, of all the particulars Of
which Caleb did not possess thorough
knowledge, in the minu'est detail. All mat
tiers in the perspective were anticipated, dis
cussed, arranged and satisfactorily disposed
Of by Caleb long before they took place. II
a.neishbor rushed into the store 10 comm u
nicate what he believed to be very recent
piece Of news, he would have the conceil
tax en- out of him by being told by Caleb,
that he had heard of it week ago. E.
vents of the past, present and future, were
all the same 10 him i; his ubiquitous knowl-
edge grasped and covered them ALTO him
they were all 'stale news
A small bet was made one evening, be-
tween 81 Stevens and Joe Stubbins. 81 bet
shat Joe couldn't nonplus Caleb with any
piece Of intelligence, real or imaginary. Joe
took all snch bets as that, The following
evening, 81 and Joe, accompanied by two or
three more of the sboys' OF the village. who
were 10 'help the thing along,' and 'fill in
proceeded 10 Caleb's store. After being
comfortably seated hore and there, on bar
rels, boxes, ETC., 81 opened the evenings a
musements by asking, in manner that in
dicated he was continuing conversation
commenced before they entered the store
SO you say, Joe, that they caught HIM
last night?
'Yes, sir, about seventeen minutes .a-past
eight
well, Joe, how far up the creek was ii q
ION a careful consideration, should say
II was about three miles, or three miles and a
quarter, or perhaps a hall, up the said
creek
Caleb, who had lost not word of the
conversation, dropped his sugar-scoop with
establishment, and opened his ears, for the
boys were talking about matter in which
he was no. posted up The conversation
continued
Well says 81, that couldn't a-been far
from Deacon Hunts p
.Jes, so,' answered Joe, 'it was about eigh-
iy rods from Deacon Hunts hog-pen, in a
slanchwise direction
did you hear, Joe,' asked 81, with face
! as solid as grayestone, how m uch lie they
got q
'Yes, did, replied Joe, with another face
as solemn as two gravestones Il hearn lell
that they got nigh upon sixty bArTs of ile.'
The wags observed that Caleb was get
ting exceedingly uneasy. and piled ii on
'Well, Joseph, how long was the reptile q
'Well, Silas, the insect was about eighty
i've feet long, and twenty-eight feet, odd in
ches, broad, and thick in proportion
4 thought, Joe, that there was two on
'sm.,
That's a fact there was pair of 'em,
but they only caught the he one.'
At this point in the dialogue, Caleb be.
came SO desperately excited that ne could
contain himself no longer, and snappishly
demanded 10 know, 'what'n thunder they
were talking about p
'why,' said Joe, with well feigned aston
ishment, 'don'tyou know about their catch
ing that are
That are what y peevlshIy snarled Ca
Deb.
'Why that are ,chale ? seriously answered
Joe Stebbins.
"A whale exclaimed the bewildered Ca
ieb, have they caught a whale up The
creek p
They haven't caught anything else,' said
the imperturable Joe.
'And how much lie did they q inquired
Caleb, as he recovered his wits.
'Ninety-two bar'ls,' replied Joe, forgetting
the amount he had previously mentioned.
sWell,' said Caleb, with slow deliberation,
and satisfied look, Il am glad the, caught
that srhah, for 1 heard they ,oefe arter him p
Joe paid the bet.