Southern standard. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1851-1856, 1851-04-19

monopoly of the trade, SO far as they had thu
means of supplying the demand 9 The tricks o
trade" whatever may be their apparent advan
tageS impair confidence, and IN the end inlurt
those who practice far more than they benef
them. 1t is a short sighted as well as guilty
policy, to swerye, under any circumstances, from
those great principles which are of universal anC
everlasting obligation. Let man maintain his in.
tegrity at all times, and he will be satisfied there
is blessing in it, and blessing flowing from it
and blessing all around it.-PhH. Bulletin.
The Deaf Wives.
The incident we are about to relate occurred
SEINE years since, in the Granite State, and as We
abide beyond striking distance of the parties and
their immediate friends, shall be little more
free in our description of the circumstances than
we otherwise should be,
Nathaniel Ella, or "'UncIe Nat" as he was gen
orally called was the corpulent, rubicund and iol-
iy old landlord of the best hotel in the iourishne
village Of Dover, at the head of the Pscataqua,
and was exceedingly fond of bit of fun witha-
He was also the owner Of a large farm in New
Durham about twenty miles distant, the overseer
of which was one Caleb Kicker, or BOSS Kale, -
as termed by the numerous hands under his con
troll, and sufficiently waggish for all practical pur-
poses of fun and frolic, Caleb, like wise and
prudent man, had wife; and so had Uncle Nat,
who was accustomed to visit his farm every month
or two to see how matters went on. On the oc-
casion of of these visits, the following dialogue
occurred between Uncle Nat and Mistress Rick
er.
''Mr. Ella" said the good lady, "why have you
never brought Mrs. Ella out so see the farm, and
pay a visit?-I dare say she would be pleased
to spend day or two with us, and | would endeav-
or to render her stay as pleasant and comfortable
as possible
''Why, to tell you the TRUTH Mrs. Kicker" said
Uncle Nat, Il have been thinking about it for
some time, but then she is so very deaf as to rem
der conversation with her extremely clffcult-in
fact it requires the greatest effort to make her hear
anything that is said to her. and she is consequent
ly very relucent to mingle in the society of
gers
''Never mind that" replied the importunate
Mrs. Kicker Il have good strong voice, and If
anybody make her hear, | cam
eff you think so and will risk it, said Uncle
Nat, ''she shall accompany me on my next visit to
the farm and this having been agreed on, Uncle
Nat left for the field, to acquaint Boss kae with
what had passed, and with the plan of future ope-
rations, touching the promised visit of his wife.
1t was finally settled between the 9ojcked rags
that the fact that their wives could both hear as
well as anybody should be kept profound secret,
until disclosed by personal interview of the la
dies Themselves
The next time Uncle Nat was about to visit the
farm, he suggested to his wife that ride into the
country would be of service to her; that Mrs.
Kicker, who had never seen her, was very anxious
to receive visit from her, and proposed that she
should accompany him that occasion She
readily consented and they were soon on their
journey. They had not, however proceeded far,
when Uncle Nat observed to her that he was sorry
to inform her that Mrs. Kicker was extremely deaf,
and she would be under the necessity of eevating
her voice to the highest pisch in order to converse
with her. Mrs. Ella regretted the misfortune, but
thought, as she had pretty strong voice, she
would be able to make her friend hear her.
In a few hours after Uncle Nat and his lady
drove up to the door of his country mansion, and
Boss Kicker, who had been previousl Y informed of
the time of Uncle Mats intended arrival, was al
ready waiting to help enjoy the fun that was to
come of a meeting of the Dear Wives Mrs.
Kicker not expecting them at the time, happened
to be engaged with her domestic duties in the kitch-
en-; but observing her visitors through the win
dow, she flew to the glass to adjust her cap and
put herself in the best trim to receive them that
the moment would allow In the meantime, Boss
KaIe had ushered Uncle Nat and his lady into the
parlor by way of the front door, soon after which,
Mrs. r. appeared in the presence of her guests.
''Mrs. Kicker, will make you acquainted with
Mrs. Ella, " roared Uncle Nat in d voice of thunder
'*How do you do, Madam screamed Mrs Rick
er to Mrs. Ella, with her mouth close to the ear of
the latter.
Every well, l thank you,' replied Mr. Z. in a
voice of corresponding elevation
''How did you leave your family?" continued
Mrs R. in voice quite up to the pitch of her first
effort
''AlI very well | thank you--how's your fami-
ly?'' returned Mrs. E. in key which called into
requisition all the powers of her lungs.
In the meantime Uncle Nat and Boss Kale, who
were convulsed beyond the power of endurance,
had quietly stolen out of the house and remained
under the window, listening to the boisterous con-
versation of their deaf wives which was continued
on the same elevated letter of the staff for some
time, when Mrs. r. in the same ledger like kew
she had observed from the first, thus addressed
her lady guest.
''What on earth are you following to me for, I
amt deaf 90
CANT you indeed?' said Mrs E., " but pray
what you following at me for-Tm sure I'm
not deaf?"
Each then came gradually down to their natu-
raj voices
CuriOsities of NGWSpaperdOm.
7. P. Bonnehomme, esq, manager of the Muse
UNI of Rare Curiosities, and senior partner of the
firm of GuIl-um, Humbug d Co., is anxious tc
procure
A map two from the Boston Atlas,
| spare spar from the Baltimore Clipper,
| Some chips from the n. Y, Post
! Samnle of honey from the BOSTON Bee