The Port Gibson herald, and correspondent., 1851-07-18
The Corned Beef Boardersi
BY PAUL GREYToN,

New England states boasted of but one pub
lie house-which was very creditabe estab-
lisement by the way-and at which, at the
present time, you can make sure of very COM
Portable and satisfactory accommodations, on
reasonable terms. Then, as now, this house
was the temporary home of the Solons and
Lycurguses of the state, when their legislative
duties drew them to the capital.
Mr.. F., the proprietor of the house at
the time to which allude, found that he had
all sorts of men to deal with, the state repre-
sentatiyes being composed of farmers, ship
builders, land speculators lumber merchants,
&C., &C.
Of all men, however, the queerest customer
was a representative who had not certainly
been chosen for any remarkable oratorical tai
ents, or for any extensive knowledge of politi-
cal economy. In fact, his notions of private
economy altogether predomiDated, as the fol-
lowing anecdote will show:
With his constituents, MIR. Cook up his
quarters at the public house kept by Mr.. F..
He was delighted with the breakfast of veni-
son steak, the dinners of turkies and moose
meat, and other corresponding accommoda-
tions; but really the rate of board was more
than he felt able to pay. Accordingly, he ap-
piled to the landlord to know if he could not
board him for less than the usual price.
! 81 should be very happy to accommodate
you" said Mr.. F., politely, "but should
| lose by the operation. have the best of every
thing on my table, and my expenses are SO
large that could not live if were to reduce
my prices"
'No way at all in my case?" inquired the lep.
resentatve, ruefully.
"No-I don't see how can have to pay
uncommonly high, this season, for my turkies
venison, eggs, &c"
Nov, see here" interrupted Mr.. C., q
suppose these fxins are worth all you charge
for board. wouldn't complain if | felt a:
| though could afford to eat such dinners Now
why not let them that want to eat the turkies
pay for 'em? For my part I'd as lief eat corn't
beef every day as not. won't eat your tur
kies, and don't see why should pay for em'
"Very well" said the obliging landlord, witt
an indulgent smile, 'if you are willing to con
fine yourself to corned beef, as far as meats
are concerned, and 10 eat other things accor
dinghy, suppose can make some deduction
in your case.
The representative was highly gratifed-
He promised to eat corn beef and to abstain
from various costly dishes which were named
upon which condition satisfactory bargain
was made.
Accordingly, every body who observed Nj
C at table, from that day, were very muc
astonished at his singular choice of food. Q
!, course the bargain was secret-confined t
the two parties by whom it was made; and III
unconscious walters laid before the represer
tative temptation after temptation, which h
no doubt found it hard to resist.
"What shall help you to, sir?" they woul
i ask him. Turkey, chicken pie, venison steal
} roasied-"
"Corn'd beef" would be the sef-denyin
] exclamation of the scrupulous boarder.
Day after day it was the same. Sometime
the walters would, through mistake, we ma
suppose, place before him choice plate Of tn
forbidden luxuries, which it made his hea
G ache to send away again, with his modest ca
for ''corn'd beef"
AT length the walters grew SO stupid,
waggish, we suspect--tfat Mr.: G-wou
2 have to send away half dozen appetisr
dishes, before they could be made to unde
y stand that his unalterable choice was corn
beef"
e This state of affairs afforded great deal
v amusement to the walters, boarders, guests
S everybody except Mr. G.-himself, who WI
s grievously annoyed At last human natu
;. could bear it no longer. One day Mr.. G.
It called for his favorite dish three times, al
!" eivedsuccessfully roasted veal, moose stea
e and broiled ehicken!-Glowing and sweatir
S with perpexty and wrathful impatience,
i sent awav the last named dish, with an eI
e phaiic request for @corn'd beef" The wait
stupid foo!-returned with smoking, ode
IT GUS turkey
e "You thick-skulled rascal!" cried the furo
is representative. ''cant you understand! | ali
iurkey boarder, Pm torn'a beef boarder! ]
II you hear! Tn corn'd beef boarder!"
J. The waiter heard-ihe table roared--t
70 representative perspred profusely; but he W
2 never afterwards troubled with refusing {
l. dishes be had foresworn. The walters enjoy
d the joke, and the representative the corn
IF beef, in qu:et.-Albany Dutchman