The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1851-10-28
From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
NCDERN EXTRAVAGANCE.
Young Men and Matrimony.

IT he man who rents. aud Wants wherewith to pay.
Provides home from which to away.-Young
I've sacrifice to dress, till household joys
And comforts cease.-Cowper.
10 the course Of a recent conversation with
| a careful but somewhat cynical observer, hi
took occasion to compare and contrast the cor
dition Of affairs IN the social life OF the present
day. with the custom and system Of the oden
time; and to deuouuce the former, as reck less
extravagaut, and fraught with deplorab!e cou-
| sequences. "Youog men," he argued, "who
are honest, and industrious, temperate and &C
tive, and who desire to enter the matrimonial
state, are 10 many cases prevented from So do
ing, apprehensive 10 The future, intimated by
the luxurious mode Of living which so gener-
ally prevails. and by the spirit Of social rival.
" which exists TO so fearful an extent 10 the
community. The consequence is. that the
change is postponed from year tn year, until
habits OF bachelor life and single blessedness
become fixed, and thus marimouy is defen ed
or avowed altogether.
Our friend ia himself a bachelor. on the
shady side Of fifty, and although now quite in-
dependent 10 pecuniary circumstances, il is
more than probable that hls philosophy. as
above quoted, is founded upon positive expe-
rieoce 10 his own case, and in the earlier par,
OF his life. Certain il is-his views are cor
rect. Hundreds, nay, thousands Of young
men OF fine feelings, noble sympathies, and
proper principles, are inundated by the ex-
,ravsgance, the fashion and the folly which are
so characteristic Of tb present time, and thus
with the keenest anxieties and the liveliest
affections, are deferred from entering the holy
state Of wedlock. Iu the language Of the
Scriptures, wife should be '.help meet for
man."
She should not only share his joys and his
sorrows. but she should arouse his energies,
and contribute TO his fortunes: But we fear
that sad error prevails. and that with too
many of the genter sex, the idea Of matrimo-
ny associated simply with splendid establish
ment. The heart has little to do with the
matter. The interests the cares, the response
bities ofthe husbSnd are too lightly consid-
cred. All that is sought for is distinction in
the social aud fashionable world, and thus the
power 10 triumph over others who have been
or may be less fortunate. The true duties Of
are not properly estimated or sui
fcienily regarded. An elegant mansion aud
splendid furniture are more potent than a spot
less character, a thriving business and gen.
erous heart. And this, too, is the doctrine in
culcated by many parerts--too many by far
1t is sadly erroneous. Young men, it should
be remembered, have in the great multitude of
cases. to carve their way through life to
struggle for years, oven in the hopes of obtain
ing pecuniary position and independence. -
They are beginners in the world
They see the chances and changes of trade,
and if prudent and sensible, they soon discover
hat economy, patience and perseverance are
essential to success, But how, under such cir
,umstances, can they venture to enter the
ield of social rivalry that exists 20 so ruinous
IN extent, to occupy a mansion at the rate of |
'ix or seven hundred dollars year. to furnish
I at cost oftwo or three thousand dollars,
md to live accordingly? The thing is impos-
ible. And yet, on being introduced to most
'oung ladies of respectability and pretension,
hey are soon given to understand, that moth
ng less than such an establishment would in
luce them to listen to a serious offer. What
s the consequence? The young merchant,
store keeper, physician or law
-er, seeing the imposslbility of any realization
# such prospect, is at once intimidated; Ell
her abandons the pursuit altogether, or looks
Another mistake is, that young ladies in-
ulge in mistaken notion. that they should be-
rim where their parents leave of-in other
words that their dwellings, servants, and
ousehold expenses, even at the commence
nent of life, should fully equal in size apd ex-
ent, those oftheir fathers, no matter how
the beginning might have
cen humble and obscure. This too, when.
s in many cases, there arc half dozen
aughters. Each would not only rival. but
urpass the old establishment. The folly of all
his. ss n matter of common sense, must strike
very intelligent reader. Nay, so deluded and
,isguided are even many patents on this i'm
ortant point, that they absolutely prohibit
ieir "gentle ones from associating with any
oung men. who are not either rich In reality.
9 by expectation. In most cases, too, this
olicy is practiced by individuals who in early
fe, were compelled TO struggle under many
and who therefore had been tho
rchitects of their own fortune.
Their pride increases with their means. and !
5 IL ashamed Of thrir honest poverty, and Of !
10 honorable industry by which they won their
'ay to more fortunate position, they look @
'ith contempt upon all who are persuing the O
lme path. In brief. they have become mon q
nanics in relation 10 the fashion and Ill its ?
npty psgssntry. t4a .sssA. tt .st II
They sspire 10 issa whore before tbev we're r