The southern press. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1851-06-14

| tAS plsoaI rhiuk, howsyst.' Nv - ~
resolved By he London press With ~
foyegons determination 10 be pleased, nthsr
with the enthusiasm which an altnQothee \
cssafHl work Of literary art from 10 dintinanisl
source would have commanded.
AsrrpoTE TO coHsrIRAczxs.
EAsy--That pestilent ssribhlsr, David PA
len Another libellous psmphiet - bitass 4
the last, I'll swear.
ToHson.--Rittsr ~ gill. Dir, am psoud -
say. Your servant Jacob Tonson. tie booi
selier-at your service. l adyssesd pond
upon it.
EAsr--I really woudsr Walpels does not
prosecute.
HARDMAH.-Prosecute! He would rather
pay for It, lis his maxim that one acurriIons
pamphlet saves country from fifty conspirasiss
You look surprised, gentlemen Why, / remem-
Der, three months ago, when our friend NJ Easy
here was teased with the nettle.sash. that NJ.
doctor said-a Don't complain, Mr.. Essv. .
strong constitution throws out nm eruption !
weakness would have smouldered away in f.
vsr." DisafFaction when printed Il only settIe-
rash, and the life of nations il saved whe. Al
ease 10 thrown ont on the surface.
EAsy.-He knows had tho nettle. ra.h,
Wonderful man, knows everything
wILMor's PHILOSOPHY.
Don't you think that rogues who pretend 70
be honest, have had their day long enough and
If we honest folks set up a counter hypocrisv.
and pretend to be rogues, g d, we may drive t6s
other fellows out Of the fashion!
FATHERS AND SONS
You see he wants me to marry. Juek ike
fathers Ever since Agamemnon Get them the hsd
example Of sacrfcing lphigenia fos layossble
breeze, they never think they've : chance Of
smooth sailing I'll they've bound ~ tiQht @ The
hons Of ths altar!
AsUsr1cioUs VIEW on QUA PIAAxr.
It certainly Is an exceedingly wicked world:
and what its attraction can Be To the otha.
worlds, Thu they should have kept Il spinning
through 81 a;e for six thoussnd years, / can't
possibly conceive--unless they are AZ had a.
itself; / should not wondrr. That new theory
OF attraction is very suspicious circumstance
against the planets-there's gang Of 'em!
A HAPPY MAN
EAsY.-Happy, yes. ! could be happy on
bread and water Sir Godfrey. And would
toast your bread at a confagration and Gil your
jug from deluge!
MEN And MONKEYS.
EAsY.-Softhead, the son Of trader he be-
T.
wits and fine gentlemen He live With lordsi
he mimic fashion! No! I've respect for even
the faults of man ; but I've none for the tricks
of monkey.
S.R GEorFREY.-Ugh! you're so savage on
Softhead, suspect It's from envy. Man and
monkey, indeed If ribbon ia tied TO the tail
OF monkey, it is not the man it enrages; it is
some other monkey whose tail has no ribbon
A rORTrrur uuurvu
suspect he has heard how rich you are. He
seems brisk, lively rogue. Best look sharp--
just one Of those Hymen-men who knock down
father before he knows where be il. with
"stand and deliver! Your child and your
money!
WILMoT BRIDES THE PRIME MINISTER.
WLMor (chaunting)-s
"Gather your rosebuds while you may,
Ere time is still a-fying."
Since my visit last night to Dead,nan's Lane,
and my hope to give Lucy such happiness, l
feel as if trod upon air All, Softhead WHY.
you stand there, as languid aud lifsless il YOU
were capable of-6shing!
SoFTHRAD.--lve been thinkinp--
WImor.-Thinking you do look fatigued!
What horrid exertionit must have been to v u!
SoFTHEAD.-Ah! Fred, Erred, don't be so
hardened. What atrocity did you perpetrate
last night?
WLMoT.-Last night? Oh, at Deadman's
Lane monstrous, indeed. And this morning,
too, another Never had so many atrocities on
my hands as within the last twenty-four hours
But they are all nothing to that which per-
petrated yesterday, just before dinner. Hark
bribed the Prime Minister!
SoFTHEAD--Saints in Heaven!
WTLmor.-Ha! Ha Hit him plump on the
jolly blunt side of his character | must tell
you about it. Drove home from Wills put
my Murillo in the carriage, and off to Sir Rob-
erts-shown into his Office" All! my Lord
Wilmot," says he with that merry roll of his
eye, this is an honor, what can do for you :"
=" Sir Robert" says !, we men of the world
soon come to the point; It's maxim Of yours
that all have their price" "Not quite that"
says Sir Robert, but let us suppose that It is"
Another roll of his eye, as much as to say, J
sball get this rouge bargain p" So Sir Rob-
ert," quoth !, with bow, (" I've come to buy the
prime minister."-" Buy me-" cried Sir Robert,
and laughed till | thought he'd have ehoked;
any price is rather high, I'm afraid" Then
60 to the door, bid my lackies bring in the Mu-
rillo. "Look at that, if You please; about the
mark, is it rot?" Sir Robert runs to the picture,
his breast heaves, his eyes sparkle, "a Murillo
name your prce"--"I have named it." Then
he looks at me so and looked at him 81, turn
out the lackies, place pen, ink, and paper before
him; That place in the treasury just vacant,
and the Murillo is yours" For yourself!-I
am charmed" cried Sir Robert. Is No, tits for
friend of your own, who's in want Of it,
"Oh, that alters the case; I've 80 many friends
troubled with the same sort of want" "Yes,
but the Mu-iIIo is genuire--pray what are the
friends" Out laughed Sir Robert "There's
no resisting you and the Murillo together
There's the appointment, and now, since your
lordship has bought me, ! must insist upon buy
ing your lordship. Fair play is jewel" Then
take my grand holiday air; I" Sir Robert"
said ], you've bought me long ago you've
given us pence where we feared civil war and
constitutional king instead of despot And
i that's not enough to buy the vote Of an Eng
lishman, belive me, Sir Robert, he's not worth
the buying" Then he stretched out his bluff
hearty hand and I gave it bluff hearty shake.