Washington telegraph., 1851-07-30
ONE GLASS TOO MUCH.
OR. THE wIFE's NIGHTCAr.

Mr.. --. who doesn't 1--we more
than mile from the postofflce III tiiis
titv, met some "Northern TRENDS with
Southern principles" the other evening,
and in extending to them the hospltall-
ties of the "Crescent City," visited SO
many of our princeIy Saloons and CHAR
BILE Halls imbiding spiritual consolation
as they journeyed, that when he left them
at their hotel at the midnight hour, he
felt, decidedly felt, that he had "a brick
in his hat" Now, he has wife, an ami
able, accomplished and beautiful lady,
who loves him devotedly, and finds but
one fault with HIM. That is, his too fire.
que mt visit to the palaces where those
fbricks' are obtained.
After leaving his friends, MIR. -------s
paused moment, took bis bearings, and
having shaped course, on the principle
that continual angles meet, made sail ior
home. In due course of time he arrived
there, and was not very much astonished,
but rather frightened to find his worthy
lady sitting up for him. She always does.
She smiled when he come in. That al
SO, she always does.
Chow are you, dear E?" she said
F'you staid out SO late, that ! feared you
had been taken sick.
.sHc-aint sick, wife-b-but don't you
th-think I.n--lm little t-tight?'
"a gery little, perhaps, my dear-but
that is nothing-you have SO many
friends, as You say you must join them
IN glass once III awhile"
'Wife, you're too good-th-the truth
is, I'm id d-drunk".
s0h, no indeed, my dear-Im sure
chat even another glass wou!d't hurt you.
Now suppose you take a glass of Scotch
ale with me, just as nightcap, dear
"You are TOO kind my d-dear by half
| know I'm d-drunk!''
ooh no-only julep too much, love
that's all:
Observation-Disclosures makes such
stiff 'uns!'
"Well--take glass of ale at amy rate
1T can't hurt you dear; want one be-
fore I retire.
The lady hastensd to open a bottle, and
as she placed two tumblers before her Oh
the sideboard, she put in one very
powerful emetic Filling the glasses with
the foming ale, she handed one to her
husband.
Suspicion came cloudily upon his mind
She never before had been SO kind
when he was drunk. He looked at the
glass-raised it to his lips--then hesta-
ted.
s'Dear, w-wou't you just taste mine, to
make it sweet--sweeter" said he.
Certainly, love" replied the lady, ia,
king noutnful, which she was careful
not to swallow.
Suspicion vanished and so did the ale.
emetic and all, down the throat of the
satisfied husband. After splitting out the
taste, the lady finished her glass, but
seemed in no hurry TO retire. She fixed
a foot tub Of water before an easy chair.
as is she intended to bathe her beautiful
little feet therein. But small as were
those feet, there was not enough water
in the tub to cover them. The husband
began to feel, aid he wanted to retire.
eWait only few minutes, dear" said
ais loving spouse; Il want to read the
news in this afternoons Delta. l found
it in your pocket
A few minutes more elapsed, and tlien-
and thenI-oh ye gods and Dan O the
lake, what a time! The husband was
placed in the easy chair. He began to
understand why the tub was there, he
soon learned what allied him. Suffice it
10 say, that when he arose from that
chair, the brick had left his hat. 1t
hasn't been there since. He says he will
never drink another julep; he can't bear
Scotch ale, but he is death on lemonade,
He loves his wife better than ever.
Reader this is truthful story. Profit