Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1851-10-01

day deal of perplexity was doomed to fall
and he soon found himself in troubled wa
ters, the depth of which he could by nc
means understand. He noundered about
like Gagged rat under pump-and such
another melancholy fish out OF water never
before swallowed the bait hook and all, OF
the angling god of love. The poor General
We must give him name or we can't tell
the story and the best name for such story
is Uncle Toby. Poor General Uncle Toby
debated abstractly about his new position
and never had siege or campaign gwen him
such perplexity before.
AT length, however, the blunt honesty OF
his disposition rose uppermost among his
conflicting plans, and his course was chosen
AT school he had once studied 'Othello' S
Defence" to recite at an exhibition, but
made great failure: and he now recollect.
ed there was something in this defence"
very much like what he wanted to say
He rot the book Immediately, foTnd the
passage, clapped on his hat with deter
mined air, and posted off the widow Wad-
mans, with Shakespeare under his arm.
"Madam," said General Uncle Toby O.
pening his book at the marked place, with
the solemnity of special pleader at the
bar Madam
sRudc am in my speech.
And little blcss'd with the set phrase o' peace
For since these arms Of NINE had seven years PI'h'
TIL n, w some moons wasted. thry nave useu
Their dearest action in the tented hed;
And little Of this great world can speak,
More than pertains to eats OF DrOll and battle;
And therefore,
Here the General closed the book, wiped
his forehead, looked up at the ceiling, and
and said with spasmodic gasp, 81 'ed"t
10 gPi married"
The widow laughed for ten minutes by
the watch before she could utter syllable,
and then she said, with precious tears OF
humorrolling down her good-natured cheeks,
''And who is it you want to marry Oen-
eral :"
.,You," said Uncle Toby, hourishing his
sword-arm in the air, and assuming mill,
tarv attitude of defiance, as if he expected
an assault from the widow Immediately
"Wil you kill me ii l marry you :" SAID
the widow with a merry twinkle in her eye
mo. madaml" replied Uncle Toby, in
mot serious and deprecating tone, as II to
assure her that such an idea had never en-
tered his head. -,
"Well, then, I guess I'll marry you, "
said the widow.
.Thank YOU ma am" said Uncle Toby !;
..but one thing am bound TO tell you OF,
madam; iwrdr m'g p
The widow started, remained silent mo-
ment, and then went into longer, LOUDER
and mcrrier laugh than she had INDUCED IN
before, at the end of which she drew her
seat nearer the General, grave y laid her
hand on his head, gently lifted his wig OH
and placed it on the table.
General Uncle Toby had never known
fear in hot battle, but he now felt most
decisive inclination to run away. Ihe wld-
ow laughed again, as though he never would
stop, and the General was about TO lay hls
hat upon his denuded head and bolt, when
the Cacetous lady placed her hand upon his
arm and detained him. She then deiber-
ately raised her other hand to her own head,
with a sort of mil tary precision, executed
rapid manpuvre with her five fingers, pull
ed off her whole head Of fine glossy hair,
and placing it upon the table by the side OF
the Generals, remained seated with ludi-
crou> gravity in front of her accepted lover,
quite baId
As may be expected, Uncle Toby now
laughed along with the widow, and they
soon grew so merry over the affair that the
maid servant peeped through the keyhole
at the noise, and saw the old couple dane
ing Jig and bobbing their bald pates at
each other like pair of Chinese manda-
rims. So the two very shortly laid their
heads together upon the pillow of matrimo-
ny."-C -ConnPcticm CoWant.