Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1851-12-11
SEwsPaPER suescRInERs.


The following classification Of newspaper
subscribers NC take from the Prairie Farm.
err and from our own experience, VIC can
safely say that the picture is drawn as nat.
ufal as life, First come the
UrRloaTs- These are tie men who take
newspapers, pay for thcm and read them -
Observe the order in which these things arc
done: the pay comes irst--tho reading
next These men consider they get the
worth of their money ID the bargain 1t
seems as fair and Just to thcm that The news
! paper should be paid for, as barrel Of su
gar OF new coat They never entertain
any other opinion. When tho year runs
out, ora listle before. they are Oh hand with
the pay There is no more difficulty in re-
memberipg this period than Sunday or the
FIRST Of january If one Of them wishes to
step his paper, he either calls or writes
letter to bis postmaster in eas season, like
man This class is dear 10 the heart Of the
editor Their images are embalmed in his
warm affections. May they Five thousand
years, aud see their sons sons TO the fourth
generation The second now in mind is the
| Do Watts This class is nearly related
n the others SO near. that it is hard to tell
where one begins AMI the other ends -
These mea always pay in advance in the be-
eianin5, and intended 10 de- so continually
Bat memory fails a little, OF some mishap in.
tervenes, aud the time runs by-sometimes.
littlc-sometimos for qaite period. But
their recollection, thqagh lnoldiog OCCASION
ally, never gets soundasteep. ltpronounees
the words in due time the printer is not
paid. and forthwith their will to do we'll
kindles into activity Now comes the paying
up Meant TO do SO before Don't mean
to let such things pass hy," A publisher
can live eth such men, They have warm
place in bis memory only little back Of the
Uprights Ifsuoh man dies in arrears. his
wife or son remember that he may.not Eavo
/ paid up for his newspaper, and institutes
inquiries. They remember that part of the
baueft was theirs, and estatc>cr no estate SO
that the printers bills are Rot among their,
fathers unsettled accounts Next come the
/ Easy DoERs-TheSe men believe in news.
papers They have, fully settled it in their
| own minds tlat newspapers are good thing
They take theai, too Sometimes at the. FIRST
they pay UP for the first year-at any ratio
! they mean to pretty soon. If they have
done So they sill down with the comforting
conviction that their newspaper is now set
tied for; and this idea having once got ipto
their heads refuses obstinately to be dis
lodged but keeps its hold from year to year
"a trath ouce-now an illusion, grey and
rheumatic with years.
The editor making the elongated and elon-
eating space IN the accents eurront Of their
! dollars, begins to ask if they are dead or
I L G.i,E Ia IN
4 poke bills at them They suddenly startup
at the reality that they are in arrears ana,
4 like men, as they are at the bottom, pay up
4 They never dispute his bills they know
\ books tell better stories than moss covered
memories. If the publisher has faith enough
or q long purse, and can lire like hyberna-
ting bear, be may survive this class. But
if be is mortal only, woe be to him. The
next class is that of thu
Down HlLLERs Here he Iegins to slide
over to the other side. The. picture sudden
4 " gets sombre We shall despatch the down
Y Killers suddenly Quo of these takes pa
per because his wife wants one, or the chill
dren are jealous To read it---or neighbor
\ persuades him When it begins to come be
\ dismisses all thoughts about it further. II
the editor sends man directly to him at the
end of two or three years, he may get some
\ pay for his paper, but with gtowls and surly
looks. He never pays any debt if he can
/ get rid Of it, and a newspaper least of all. -
1 Still he hates lawsuits, and constables, and
all that A dun has the same effect on him
/ that bullet has on hipporotamus CLAN
/ cling from his hide, 6r sinking into the blub-
Der harmless lie is always sliding down
hill, end soon merges into another class, that
/ Of
Scar: GRAcE$-It is enough to say Of
him that be never fails to have newspaper
/ two OF three of them When he thinks
they have come about long enough for the
editor to want pay, he sends back with stop
it Or lie takes up bis quarters and leaves
for parts unknown He does not want to
! pay, and lie don't mean TO- Get il if you
can Enough for him.
Reader, il which Of the above classes are
( sou found?