Hannibal journal and western union. (Hannibal, Mo.) 1851-1852, 1851-10-23
oVOL. 2---NO s.
TWO Oh THREE GOOD ONES
EFRoM THE EDrr0R's TABLE or THE ESIcKER-
BocKERt ron OCTOBER.


duty" but "out Of court" we know, Of no class
who cultivate tho humorous more assiduously,
and we may add, more effectively. Read the
for example, sent us by Zone Of 'em:'
''In one Of the western counties Of the down.
east State, there waved many years ago and for
many years, an artillery company, famous in all
the country side for IFS parades and sham-fghts.
To see the Paris artillery of train day was
'an aim and an Achievement In the time Of the
last way With EHglsr3 its meetings were syez.sest
and exciting. Lieutenant J--Tt, remembered
for his love Of liquor, hate Of the Tederalists'
and habitual use and misuse Of the word sbusi-
ness, was 'balmy' beyond question, when, late
in the afternoon Of training-day, he was invited
by the captain, in accordance with the usage of
those days, to take command of the company for
"a short drill before breaking up. Bracing him
self as well as he could against large elm, he.
commenced giving orders: Fellow sdgers, pise
swOardp said he. After some little time he reused
himself and repeated, tp'ise swoardl why,
lieutenant, we've been p'ised for FIVE minutes
exclaimed one of the sergeants. tWell, the bis
ness is, keep pisedp hiccoughed the lieutenant
g 'It WIS in the same county, in the time, az
THE old Common Pleas Court, that an elderly and
Igarrulous female witness was called 10 give
her testimony in case before the bench. Her
answers 10 the counsel were so confused and un--
satisfactory, that at length the Judge (afterwardl
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court) interfered,
and inquired who she had been talking about.
Nancy Kneeland, now in divine presence was
the prompt reply.
"'At a recent term Of the court in an eastern
county, ia H-n, or uncle JENNY as
he is familiarlyocalled, was juryman. Several
actions of H, a 'clock-yender, came on for
trial. All the cases, good and bad alike, going
Iagainst the plaintiff some one asked Uncle
J Jenny how it happened: why. said he, Most
all of tie Jury had some of them elOeksr There
was 'retribu ION moral and legal
'-During the war If 1912, i. happened .!.ss
an invasion was expected in the town of Lynne,
situated at the mouth of the Connecticut river.
The spirit of the times had previously manifes-
ted itself in militia gatherings and organizatons
and the individual who had undertaken 10 diseip-
line the rustics in the art of war was one Cap
tain Tinker, who had advanced his company 70
high state of Theoretical practice through the
aid Of broom-sticks and eorn-stalks interspersedf
here and there with rusty old Queens arm.'
Well, several ferocious and determined parades'
were executed, in anticipation of the enemy's
advent. Balls were cast, guns secured, hints
picked, and the troops were set TO work in
digging trench which should command the en-
trance Of the river, under the supervision Of Col
IS, who was q veteran Of the revolutioa. n
was not long before some gunboats were seen ap-
preaching, closely followed BY two English fris-
lates; and as they came within. gauge a shea o.
two was fired. The troops were all duly en-
trenched; ami thrust through their embankmene,
the muzzles of two culyerins fully charged with
death-dealing material, stood, 'grinning grin de-
fance to foreign invasion, and awaiting the
charge. But at this juncture our doughty cap
tain was not to be found. The valiant colonel
had ridden up and down the lines in vain in
search of him; but at length he espied in the dis
tance dirt-covered head hobbing up and down
occasionally from the ground whore continue
tions' were evidently busiy engaged in finding
the bottom Of a deep hole. In the summit-tide
of passion, the colonel rode up to the spot and
exclaimed: What the devil are you doing in that
;hole, Captain 'Tinker9 Why are You not at the
head Of your troops? Troops bed-dp replied
the captain; it's their business TO take care Of
Themselves; this is my hole: dug it last night;
and the cussed Brittishers can hit me if they kin
let 'em shute! Let the troops git under their
sand-bank if they don't want to git hit; aAe7 got
one!' Wasn't this an exhibition of the sbetter
part Of valor' in commanding officer?i'
! az Friend j., well known a man Of pieas-
ure, and So extrayagant as to have seriously in.
volved himself, was lately married to one, who
report says, gave him but little peaeeq or 9niet.
Talking to him the other day relative 20 his af-
fairs, we remarked, "Weil j., you must husband
your resources in future. ''No!" he said sI've
had enough of that, III never husband another.
thing while i've
%In' Time of Peace Prepare for War.A
A young lady of wealthy Parentage, a dedgiing,
from one of our fashionable boarding schools, a