Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1851-06-18
A STORY OF A NOSE.
by AN OLD BACHELOR.

by AN BACHELOR.
am woman-hater, and, of course, an
old bachelor, rather eccen,ric-my friends
say decidedly eccentric.
had made up my mind at the age of
seventeen, to despise the sex. regarded
them as interested and selfish, with but one
aim, and tina, was matrimony, to accomplish
which, they would make use Of all sorts Of
decepiions and arts, until they had secured
the victim, and then, they would exhibit
their true colors. Hence, though had Of
ten been solicited by my friends to make the
acquaintance of very agreeable young ladies,
had always strongly refused. But mais
reUenonS notre moltton.
| was one day walking along rather mus
ingIy when ] came in sudden collision with
two young ladies. made rather a hurried
apology for running against them, which
they gracously received, and then passed
on. looked back at the young ladies' ac-
cidenlally, and perceived that one Of them
was looking back also. She blushed slight
ly on being discovered, and bushed also,
wiihou! knowing why. There was, per-
hsps, nothing peculiar in her appearance
She was slightly made, had light hair, blue
eyes, rather a melancholy cast Of features,
and very pretty mouth. But let me come
10 t center of attraction, which was her
nose. She had one Of the most ravishing
noses that mortal eyes ever beheld. Read
er, pray do not laugh here. ]. was a very
beau ideal of nose, it was Grecian, as
indeed all her features were. | thought
fcould discover in the little organ all
the elements of thought, poetry, inielec-
lua,li,y, and-no-not love- hate love.
had but short glance al it, but it seemed,
even in that little time, that her countenance
underwent. a thousand changes, all Of which
ascribed 10 the power Of her nose. 1t was
such thoughtful nose, such poetical nose,
such an. intellectual nose, nose thai,
I"known1l%omehing yet such mlschlev-
Gus looking nose, a nose up TO snuff-in
short feature to be sneezed with, but mol
to be sneezed at. went to bed late that
night and dreamed Of the nose.
Iawoke early next morning, end deter
mined on having an introduction to its pos
SCISSOR. was fortunate enough to find one
of my friends who knew the lady in ques-
.ion, and he undertook to present me to her
that evening. was in state of restless
ness bordering on distraction, until evening
came. ] ran out in the garden to look a,
The dial, for all bachelors have dials, liked
mine better than clock there was some
thing in its circle that reminded me Of a
Jolly, sunny face; and its pointer looked not
unlike huge nose.
A, length evening came. partook of a
slight supper and some fruit. ] choose tha,
peculiar kind of apple called "sheep's nose"
then took my friends arm, and sailed Out
in very nervous state Of mind, A few
minutes walk brought US TO the domicil of
the young lady, and was introduced to her.
Her name was Helen Somerville. lendeav-
ored TO commence conversation, but felt ex-
,remelv awkward. We talked of all sub
iects. She laughed ou.righ, at my conlu-
sion, more than once. All the time, how
ever, was watching her nose-it was per-
feet. She jokingIy asked me if had seen
The elephant; | told her yes, and commence
ed discussion on lis proboscis. We espoke
about the classics. mentioned Cicero and
Ovidious Naso; their names pleased me-
.BeaulifuIIy chiselled," said J, still regard
ing the object of my alteration.
She then spake about love, and, like all
young ladies, jes'ed about bachelorsh'P,
saying that the gentlemen could never gel
married.
"Not at ALL" said !, "lhe difficulty is to
find nose mean lady TO suit, tdclAS
decensus .4rerm sed reuocare gradus."
She fairly shrieked, and exclaimed against
those horid classics, asking me if saw any
thing of The blue stocking about her.
1.-TWO such nice little holes," said !, re-
garding the nosirils, aud not noticing
her remarks but suddenly looking from
her nose to her feet, that she might not dis
cover my thoughts. She seemed anxious
to draw me into conversation, and asked me
if had ever been to Niagara.
''What bridge" said ], in an under tone.
81 don't like the bridge at ALP said she,
pe!tishly.
"Pardon me, MISS" said ], coloring, 81
have said, perhaps, too much"
She seemed to think had said too little.