Washington telegraph., 1851-11-05
KICKING A YANKEE.


oI live dandy tourist and real live
Yankee settler. The latter trod on the
Zoo Of the former, whereapon the former
u,.,ened to "kick out Of the cabin;
the latter. :. -.
,.you'll kick me out of the cabin"
ives sir, I'll kick you out of this cabin. ;"
,VouIl kick me. Mr.. Hitchcock. out
Of this cabin: -,
u yes, sir, I'll kick,you, Mr. Hitchcock!
"Well. guess" said the Yankee very
.,o,y after being satisfied that it was
himself that stood in such imminent peril
of assault, L guess. since you talk Of
.;oL;uo YOU never heard me tell about old
R,adley and my mare, there tu hum:
mo. sir, nor do | wish -
Wal, guess it wont set you back
r,ucb any how, as kicking is generally
hast 10 be considered on. You see old
pr,dley is one of those sanctimonious,
Ioro.faced hypocrites, who put re-
rnous suit Oh every Sabbath morning.
and with a good deal of screwing manage
70 keep it OH till after church in the after
noon Wal, he had an old roam mare.
,ha, would jump over amy sixteen rail
fence in Illinois, aud open any barn that
hadn't paddock on it. Two or three
Times found her in my stable, aud l told
R,adIey about it, He was very sorry
IN uuruIv animal-would watch her, aud
:, q serious manner, with face twice as
r,,g as old Deacon Farra's on Sabbath
dav knew all the time he was lying.
and so | watched him, and his old roam
IN, and for three nights regular Old roam
come to my stable about bedtime, and
inst about daylight old Bradley would
come, bride her. aud ride her OFT. then
took my old mare to the blacksmith 5, got
corks made about four inches long. aud
had 'em uailed on her hind feet. Your
heels, mister, amt uothin to 'em. took
her hum, gave her about ten feet halter,
and tied ler ight III :he centre OF the
stable, fed her well with oats about nine
o'clock, and taking q good smoke, went
to bed, knowing shat my OLD mare was
a truth-telling animal. and ,hat shed give
rood report of herself in the morning.
| wasn't fairly sleep, before the Old
oman huuched me. and wanted TO know
what on earth was the matter out at the
stable. Says 1, go to sleep, Peggy; its
nothing but Kate-she's kicking off flies.
| guess.' Purity soon she hunched me
again, and says she
"Mr. Hitchcock, du get up and see
what in the world is the matter with
hate"
Lay still Peggy; Kate will take care
OF herself l guess
wal, the next nornin' about daylight,
Bradley with his bride IN his hand. cum
IN the stable, aud as true as the book OF
i1enesls, when he saw the old roan's sides.
head. aud starn. he cussed and swore
worse than you did, mister, when come
down Oh your toes.
after breakfast that mornin, Joe
Davis cum 10 my house. aud says h"-
"3radey's old roane Is nearly dead
she's Gu. all to pieces, aud can scarcely
move"
Il want to know" says l. how on
earth, did it happen!
"N)w, whilst we were talking. up cum
thai everlasting hypocrlle, Bradley. aud
says he
Mr.. Hitchcock. my old roane is ruined
"Du tell. says
"She's all cut TO pieces" says he; "do
YOU know whelhershe was in yonr stable
last night!
"Wal, mister. with this let out: DO
you know il?' he Yankee here III illns-
uatiug, made a sudden advance on the
dandy, who made way fur him uncon.
scously, as it were;) 'do [ know it, you
no-souIed, squash-headed old night-owl,
you.-you hay-hookin, corn-crlbbln, fod-
der-fugiu, ceut-shaving, within of nothin,
you. Kate kicks like a mare dunn beast,
but I've reduced the thing 20 science!
Tie Yankee had not ceased 10 sd-
vance, or the dandy, i'll his astonishnent,
10 retreat; and now, the motion OF the
latter being accelerated by an apparent
demonstration TO suit the action to the
word, he found himself in the social
hall, tumbIing backwards over a pile OF
baggage. and tearing the knee of his
pants as he scrambled up. a perfect scream
OF laughter stunning him from all sides.
The defeat was total; a few moments
after he was seen dragging his own trunk
on shore, while Mr. Hitchcock finished
his story on the boller-deck
---~~-~~~~~~-~~~~-~~---~~
The following anecdote is told of Judge
Story aid his successor upon the bench:
1t was Judge Storys habit after the
session of the court on his return to Cam
bridge, and before the publication of the
reports, TO submit the cases decided 10
the class for argument, On one occasion
Judge Marshall had delivered the opinion
Of the court. Judge Story dissenting.
When the points were before the class,
MI. Curtis took the same position assum-
ed by Judge Story on the bench. and
INA; eminent man OH his return TO Wash
mg'on, said to Judge Marshall that if the
case had been argued with half the ability