Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1851-12-04

he used to.
Says |, "Uncle Joshua, what's tht
prospect about the Presidencyl"
"WelI," says he, "Major," ,"-h,
always calls me Major-says be
"Major, there amt no prospect a
ALL" ~
"How So" says 7; show can vol
make that outl''
"Well," says he, "there'sso many
parties now, and they are all so mix
ed up, higgledy- -piggledy, that yor
cant see through 'em with the longest
spy-glass that ever was made
Tbat'swhy there amt no prospect a
ALL"
"Well, now, uncle Joshua" says I,
'jest name over all these parties, so
can begin TO have some idea o.
them"
"Well," says he, swell begin first
south-side of Mason and Dixon's
line. There's the old Whig party,
and the ole Democratic party. and
the party of Union Wings, and the
PARTY Of Secession Wings, and the
party of Union Democrats, and
the party Of Secession Democrats,
and the party Of absolute, unqualified
Secessionists, and the party of Co.
operation Secessionists. And then
il we come to thenorth side Of Mason
and Dixon'S line, we find the regular
Wing party, and the regular Demo
cratic party, and the Union Wings,
and the Abolition Wings, and Union
Democrats, and the Abolition Dem
ocrats, and the SiIver-gray Wings,
and the Woolley-head Wings, and
the Hunker Democrats. and the
Barn-burner Democrats, and the
Seward party, and the Union Safety
Committee party, and the regular
Free Sile party, and the regular Vote
yourself-a-Farm party"
Here Uncle Joshua paused little,
and Aunt Keziah laid down her nit
tin work, and looked over her spec
tacles, and says she to me, "Your
uncle Joshua must have a wonderful
memory, to keep all them hard names
in his head; for my part, don't see
how he does it," Then cousin Nabby
she cIapped her hands and laughed,
and says she, snow cousin Jack,
which party do you belong to-"
Says |, "Pll be hanged if ! know.
II the Old G:neral was alive---I mean
Old Hickory--.Id 60 with his party,
ietit be whtcfr 'twuuld; for then
should know | was going for the
country. The Old Gineral was al
ways ready to fight for the country
agains Bank monsters, and Nullifica-
ton monsters, and ali sorts of mon-
s;ers."
"Well, now," says Uncle Joshua,
chow do you suppose we are going
to work TO make a President, with
all these parties in the field, fghtin
cross-handed, and catty-corners, and
every which wayl"
"I'm sure | cant see," says |, Sun
less we can get up a party that will
surround the whole Of 'em, as the
Irish corporal surrounded the half
dozen soldiers that he took priso-
ners."
"What do you think ot Mr.. Cal
houn's plan, said Uncle Joshua,
"that's laid down in his works just
published"
"What's that" says |, 81 don't
think Pve heard Of it,"
SWELL" says he, she recommends
to choose L,Oo Presidents, one Tor the
North and one for the South, each
side OF Mason and Dixon's line;
and no law of Congress TO become a
law ill il is signed by both Presi.
dents. How think that would
work."
"WelI, | guess" says |, "il the
county depended upon laws TO live
on, it would starve to death as sure
as the ass between the two 6undels
of hay."
At that cousin Nabby spoke up,
and says she, "More like the country
wouldb like bundle Of hay be-
tween two asses, and would get eat
up pretty quick"
Uncle Joshua couldn't help smi-
ling, but he looked round as sober as
he could, and says he, "Come. come,
Nabby, you hush up; what Go you
know about politics"
swell, now" says |, let us look at
this plan of Mr.. Calhoun's a little,
and see what it amounts to. His
notion was. that there was two par
ties, one North and one South OF
Mason and Dixon's line, and that
under one President they never
could agree, but would always be
quarrelling and 6ghtin and crowding:
but il each party could choose a
President, then they would get along
smooth and quiet, and live as peacea-
Bile as lambs. Now, If the doctrine