Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1851-08-06

III.
All day in his sanctified work,
Was reading his prayers, after broiling
Some Jews who revoled at pork
The frouziest odor Of sanctty
Assembled each devo,ee'S nose,
For the greatest ofyirtues e'er ranked II no
Never 10 change his old clos
And nothing that didn't wear breeches
Crossed ever the sill of his door,
For he counted all womankind witches
Whose faces he ne'er could endure;
When uottng he was not quite SO rahcorOus'
But now, being soured aud spleened,
He thought the whole sex was kantankarous,
And hated them worst than the tieud.
So ne'er did the Father of Evil
With him put on woman's DISGUISE
Though thus we're assured did the DeVh
Once dazzle St. Authony's eyes;
ard inns had our SAINT been jolly 'un,
The 6end had accomplished his end,
But knowing his man we'll, Apoilyoa
Appeared as an intimate trIena'
pr,,. .rolored were Dominic's veStures
Which swarmed with ten millions oil iisas;
They worried him, TILL by his gestures
He seemed to have Scot!and's disease;
But his beard was safctum sane torum,
Where they housed uudsturbed by comb,
For he scratched other parts, or spanked o'er en-
But there found they always homc'
So the Devil contracted his carcase
Till a nea, little flea he appeared,
Then crawl led down his nose Ike staircase
And percocd on the end oi his beard
So see now this wonderful paragon,
This Saint so renowned among men,
This glory and pride OF old AraSon'
thus bearded By Nick in his den.
And now. looking round him, the Old 'un
Saw the SAINT all absorbed in his book;
Jllumincd II was red and golden,
Emblazoncd with mitre and crook
At the emblems OF power apoStohcai
The feud was transported with rage
And filled with design diabolicai'
Jumped down upon Domnc's page.
There he hopped and cut many capcr
In unco daemonac glec,
Cast his eyes where he would on the paper
The Saint saw the yillainous flea;
So plagued he the Holy lnquisitor,
That he forced him TO worry aud tret,
While it hugely delighted his visitor
To see the good Saint in pet
But the Saint was a cunning old codgeer
Who knew Satan's tricks very well,
So M, Guessed that the spry little dodyer
Might be a wee stragger from he'll;
He doubted not that any sex or s'ze
The fend may put on ii he please,
So he screwed up his courage 10 cAofciS''
IL need be, an army oil heaS'
Then Dominic took holy water
And wet the book all round the rim,
When the hea-hops grew visi6iy shorter
As he chaunted the following hyinA
.sMar,a o virgo p,.risSina!
Inploro ct eroro te
Besiiola sit immnndisstms
YIcta rinctagtse per me -
When the holy man firm and undaunted
Had ended this powerful prayer,
The poor little 0cu lay enchanted
And stirred not the breadth OF hair;
While wondering what would become o NICK,
He came near 10 losing his wits,
For the terrible look OF ST. Dominic
Would put e'en the Devil in hts.
Then the Saint stuck his elbows a-kimbo
While thus he addressed the Old Boy
"I'll put you, you rascal III limbo
Where You'll have no more chance 10 annoy
I'll make you, old fellow, play sentinel,
To my prayerbook you'll serve Tor marx
When you'll wish you had rather been peat IN hei
Than lodgings so narrow anu DARK
So he marked for the old holy wizard
Where he ended his prayers morn and night,
But it sorcly Yexed Beelzebub's gizzard
To be clasped in q missa so tight;
Twas bad that book Of divinity
Should stifle the poor little beast,
But worse, (though the Devil was IN t') nc
Should serve at the beck OF priest.
And the leaves writ in barbarous lingo
Would yet have encased the poor hea'
Had not the great Santo Domingo
When he got through his book set HIM irec;
The generous Saint thus displaying his
Great zeal TO put heresy down.,
For the Dsvil at ll,.to-d fe'-inS is
The boy to do here,ics OrOtcn'
Then the flea with quickncss amazing
Soon sweled to terrible size,
IIiS mouth like furnace was blazing,
Aud Lightning shot bright from his eyes;
While his hoof kept horrible clatterins'
Aud his tail swept the door like a broom,
The holy man's teeth fell a chattermg,
For he thought hs had come to his DOOM
But, grateful for radiance from durance,
The ii.ud bade him not feel alarm,
While kindly he gavc him assurance
He really meant him no harm:
So they chatted and hob nobbed it cheerily,
While Mickey cracked many ajoke,
Then danced he a pas sea! quite merrily,
Made his congo and vanished in smoke.