Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1851-07-02
Uit nnn l)unlor.


Bow & Constable made his first Levy.
In one Of the interior counties of Ten
nessce. an i!iterate man name Jake Short,
who of law matters, it might truly be said
-..did not know as much as the law al
lows him"-by some chance was elected
constable.
The next day he was met by neighbor
striding like a military officer, with his
saddlc-bags on his arm.
"Holj on, jake" says he.
"The wheels of government never stop
''Going to make a levy"
ayes, got the document in my saddle
bags
"You had better look out, the last man
in, lost by not doing his business accord
ing to law"
Cant catch me, Tn up to how it's
DONE" answered the new made official,
proudly, never turning his head as he
strobe along.
'Lct me sce," soliloquizcs he, 81 am to
distrain for rent, attach all the property
can lay hands on.'
When he arrived at the tenement, he
found it vacated, and no visible means left.
"Whew-where am to make my mile
age? pillar of the State must have sharp
cyes-government expects it
After seeing about the house and bushes
for some time, he espied an anti1uated
porker and her little ones.
.'Ahem-I've got 'cnl-I say I'm some
he calculated, as he crcpt silly around
and caught the unsuspccting Pcrker by
the kink in her narrotice, that he might
lay hands on, and 60 according to law,
(for he had seen a prisoner taken by slap
ping him on the shoulder while the process
was read, shouting (as he had heard at
Court)-"Hea ear ye-iIear ye-Hear ye-
l attach you" All this time the porker was
cup and doing" her best licks, but .Jake's
motto being "nevcr give it up so,' hung
on to 'the forlorn hope like death to a de-
parted colored gentleman"
The poet thus beautifully describes
similar catastrophe
4Iack fell down. and Jill tumbling after
The porker fcll-and wheel of govern
ment was suddenly heels over head, ma
-. g. froc
some jean. The porker, owing, perhaps,
to her having more propellers than the
pillar, got under way first, and the little
ones doing small specimen of migrating
all the time. "Not very profitable Office
groaned Jake, as he surveyed his dilapld-
ated habilimcnts. "But sworn officer
INST 10 his duty, and 60 according TO
law"
Ilenow went it strong-it was ''nlp and
tack' for about quarter, he then gained,
and ended the contest by pouncing like "a
duck on ,Tu1a bug" nabbing the porker
by the organ Of hearing.
- r ya- Hear Hear ye-l COM
mand YOU to appear at g q. lock on Satur-
day next at sam EaIl1rs grocery-(the
porkar was going her lsa;h on it, in the
littie l-a. er Of jroaJ5 Ike looked around
",r .aa little ones-not one of which was
.e .een) and bring with you that pas
tic of cusscd pigs, for in the eyes of the
law YOU are accountable for 'em fail not
under pain of the penalty laid down in
the Law Books This is done by me
sworn officer, as the law Directs
4 he had done his duty, he lcosed his
hold; the porker no doubt being aceounta-
BE fos the appearance of the little ones
was in so great hurry to join them, that
she got her head bothered with the u"''er-
standing of Jake, and sad to relate, " a
pillar of the State" ,ftH and great was the
fall thereof
The next day the following was found
sticking on tree:
NOTICE.
At Sam Parker's Grocery at y O'Clock
on Saturday next, will expose an Old
sow, and passle of pigs, more or less
who will appear as the Law directs to be
distrained for rent.
JAKE SHORT, Constable.
Tennessee, March, 1851.
Advice.
,,., ,o,,a n. airy - let him drink. drink. drink;