The Abbeville banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1847-1869, 1851-04-26
From the Spirit Of tho Timcs.]
The Wrong jug.
BY ALECK.

| SiitIcIcu '|S"'1 "SNN' III
the town of l., Ala, for Uncle Billy
was great story teller, and always had a
crowd when lie was in town.
No. lets hear it, Uncle Billy said doz
| en- voices.
well, just hand that corn sperrits over
here Il mint first. This here weather's SC
derncd hot that white man Of good raisin
can't talk 'thout imbibing occasionally
! Here the old man took u drink Of the
'spcrrits' that would have rendered almost
any other man tight, but which only made
him talkalive. Then setting down the Jug
he drew an old greasy silk handkerchief
from his pocket wiped the pcrspir;.tion from
his face, and commenced
Well. you see, boys, never like to tell
this here story, cause an't disposed to be
hard OH the poor fellows, but its rally too good
to keep. Lust spring, Il lot OH us, Job Dow
! dy, Ike Sturdivent, Joe Dobbs, and some Of
the other boys in my district, concluded we'd
take load of truck down to Wetumpky
and sell it, and buy such little things lis the
pcart time of it goin' down, which it was n
mighty lively crowd of ,s. Notl,in' curious
or intercstin', though, didn't happen, an We
all arriv down to Wctumpky right side up
as they say OH the boxes Of glass.
Wetumpky is the derndest biggest place
ever hearn of, and do believe they have
everything thar, an IL little more. Book
stores, drug-storcs, and lickcr-shops, where
they have more different kinds Of sperits
than we ever hears Of, way here in the back
woods-old Koniack, bout tlousan' year
old, peach, rot-gut, Tennessee, Monongahy-
ly, and every other kind in tho world, and
more too. But I tell you, buys, if you amt
usen't 10 it, be kecrful how you tech that
truck what they call champagne, for it's the
dcrndcst stuff to fly into trller's head you
ever lcarn. One of them store fellers, what
had bought my cotton, tuck me down 10 one
of the bar-roolns CHATS what they call the
licker-shops,) an called for some champagne
a,i' axed me to drink with him, aud rs that's
so,ncthin' yer old Uncle Billy never has 10
objections to, jest takened few drinks, an
the way it set the old mans lead spinuin'
was curious.
Well. aTteT we sold out our truck, and
laid in what We want, we tuck up our march
for home, which there was several of US, and
a good long string of wagons. When we
got TO the camp the first night, felt power
ful tired, whicl, had walked good deal
and had taken good deal of sperts with
them Wetumpky fellcrs, the derndest chaps
for trcatin' ever this child started ND, m
went to bed yearly, leavin' the boys round
the fire talkin' bout matters an things.
Next mornin' got mp, and found most
all of cm was gone off from the camp, and
them that was thar looked mighty pale sick
ly like. Thinks what can he the matter
with these here boys9 You see didn't sus-
picion notlin' of them rs WASN'T there, cause
/ thought they was walkin' about lookin' at
the country. Presently they commenced
stragglin' in, but all of 'em looked pale aud
sick, like them mt the fire. Thinks some
thin's wrong, but never mind, we'll see what
it is, fore long. Ike Sturdivent's old nigger
Tom, WAS the cook for the crowd, and purity
soon the hoecakc and ham was ready for us;
but none of 'em didn't have no appetite
Thinks /, them there boys is been spreein'
on it last night, while was asleep, and they
feel bad this mornin'. Every now an then
one of 'em would shoot off, like a rock, and
come back arter n little lookin' worse than
ever. Never mind,' ses !, somethin's wrong
Arter breakfast, commenced hitchn' up
to sturt, but most of the boys looked like
they was too sick to git off, an as didn't
want to leave 'en, l unhitcled again, an
tuck u seat to watch. Some of 'em was w.
in OH the grass, will, their arms under their
heads, some settin' up against trees, tryiu'
to look like they didn't feel bad, while some
were settin' with their elbows on their knees.
and their heads down, lookin' for all the
world like they had lost all their rciations
Arter l looked Mt 'em long enough, I got up
and went TO the wagon, where had iug
OF mighty good Monongahaly, and thought
I'd give the boys dram, and it might DOZEN
good. When got there, the whole thing
was plain as daylight. Thar sot two Jugs,
rs like, rs two pees, one kind of stuck back
in the wagon,; whar had put it, aud the
other settin' in front, with tile cork out. Yon
sec them boys know'd had good ticker in
my wagon, which was q better Judge of
the article tbanany Of 'em, so as was asleep
they goes to the wagon to sample it; but
tho two jugs wass sosmuch alike, they got
hold of one what had in it-wl,at do YER
reckon l-not Moaongchaly, but castor oil.
Joe Dobbs was the first one that sampled it,
an and he was determined the balance
should be fooled as we'll RS linn, and sent
the others up, and thar they had drunk,
amongst 'em, nigh on TO gallon of castor
oil. And didn't l laugh when l found it
QUIT think you mout heercd Inc a mile
Them boys was, mighty sick all that day,
but it tarnt 'em alesson. ] hope, not to lie
meddlih' with other peoples jugs. Jest pass
them, ,sperrits over tbis way, will you talk