Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18


The three most mischievous imps in
creation are monkey, midshipman,
and freshman. The latter enters col
lcge, bis memory stored with wendrous
tales Of the, bold feats Of his predeees-
sors, his ambition fired with the idea of
leclipsiDg them, and a firm conviction
that il IL his bOunden duty TO make as
great noise, and annoy professors and
classmates as mnch as he can with any
degree Of safety to himself As he ad-
vancesin his college life he abandOns
the stereotyped tricks Of the youngest
class for fun more refined in its nature,
and evincing more 81 VIII in-concsftiol
and execution. Perhaps tho acme oi
cool impudence IS attained about the
close of the sophomore year. We have
no tangftle authority for so saying, but
yet will guarantee thai none but u So
phomore was the hero Of the following
anecdote:-
CHoPPIEG LoGIc AND CUTTING An
swERs.-Dr. -, in PropriG persona,
called upon Southern student one
morning in the recitation room, to de-
fine Logic. The question was some
thing in this form:
Mr.. -, what is logic Z"
"Logic, sir, IS the act of reasoning" !"
"Aye; but | wish you to give the
definition in the exact words Of the
learned author"
= Oh, sir, he gives very long, intri-
cate, confused definition, with which
! did not think proper to burden my
memory"
care you aware who the learned au-
thor is 7"
Oh, yes; your honor, sir.''
Well, then, | fine you one dollar
for disrespect."
Taking Que a two-dollar note, the
student said, with the utmost sang
froid:
elf you will change this | viii pay
you on the spot"
T" 4 fine you another dollar, sir" said
the professor, emphatieally, +" for re-
peated disrespect."
Then tits just the change, sir, said
the student, coolly.
A very cool answer from n sOPho-
more is indelibly recorded among the
memories Of our college days.
Professor - had a peculiarly red
nose so red, indeed, that it was usu-
ally deemed sign that the interior Of
the temple was dedicated to Bacchus.
Upon this point the professor was pecu-
tliarly sensitive.
One day, chesnut, propelled by
some invisible hand, hurtled across the
room, and came so violently in contact
with the learned gentIeman's bald pate,
that, glancing of, it spun almost up to
the ceiling.
"Mr. F." thundered out the
professor, ssthat was you, sir; don'l
deny it, sir; your bushes betray you,
sir.''
DO you think that 1 blush, sir n
modesfly asked the student.
g Blush!" retorted the professor.
g Your face is as red as beet"
+" Pardon me, sir" replied F., :"
think it's only the reflection Of light
perhaps yo~ looked at me sSer you'
noSc.''
Among the most amusing pages are
) those devoted to an account Of the
/" Medical Faculty Society" of Har-
ward, which commenced its funny ex-
istence in 1918, and terminated it in
1884. Distinguished persons very fire.
quently-much to their surprise-re.
ceived advices of honorary member
ship. A triennial catalogue, in very
porcine Latin, was issued, in imitation
of the Triennial of the college, and in
, it persons who had acquired some ridi,
: culous notoriety frequently found them
selves suddenly immOrtalized and
placed in very queer company. Among
those upon whom honorary degrees
, were conferred, we find Christophe o.
Hayti, William Cobbett, John G.
! Symmes, Alexander the first of Russis
who was so completely deceived BY
the appearance Of the sheepskin tha
he forwarded valuable present to the
society Andrew jackson, Pop EN-
mons, Day s. Martin, Sam Patch
!, Chang and Eng, Martin Van Buren
the Sea Serpent, Captain Hall, Mrs
Trollope, and the Rev lsaac Fiddler
rather Heterogeneous collection. Com
plants to the Faculty Of Harvard
from some Of the parties 50 distin
guished, at last resulted in the breaking
up of the society.
I The 6 commons" have always been I
fruitful subject for complaint among
; students. We find recorded,
: THE SAD EFFECTS OF roo MUcE
: LAMB.-The students, after eating thil
kind of meat for FIVE Or six conSecu