The Plymouth pilot. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1851-1852, 1851-09-24
A YANKEE TRICK.

A YANKEE TRICK.
Uncle Eb. as we used TO call him, o
mong lots OF good qualities, had fail
ing. He did love good liquor. but such
would trust him. He therefore resorted
I" ii trick. to answer the great desire Of
his appetite. lie took two bottles. put
quart Of water into one of them, then
put bottle in each pocket, and started
for The store
'I'll take a quart of rum said Uncle
Eh as he placed the empty bottle on the
counter.
The rum was put up, and the bottle re-
placed in his pocket, when Uncle Eb
| pulled from his purse what al n distance
might seem quarter Of a dollar.
This is nothing but tin, Uncle Ell,
said the trader.
Eth. now. its u quarter said Uncle
Eb.
It's TIM said the trader. I shan't
take it,
It's all I've got
Very well, you can't have the rum
Uncle Eb, without much demuring.
pulled from his pocket the quart of water.
The trader took it poured it into bis rum
barrel aud oil walked Uncle fb chuck
ling.
Asa minister ani lawyer were nd.
Ing toge iler, says the minister 20 the law
yer
Sir do you ever make mistakes in
pleadins?'
q 10 says The lawyer.
And what do you do with mistakes
inquired the minister.
why, sir, if large ones. mend them;
if small ones, let them So said the
lawyer
And pray SIR continued he. do you
ever make mistakes in preachingl'
Yes. sir. have
And wha, do you do with mis;akcs?'
said the lawyer.
why. sir dispose Of them in The same
manner as you do. rcc;ify the large
and let the small ones 60. Not long
SINCE continued he, 'as was preaching,
meant to observe that the devil was the
! ia ,ler of liars, but nude mistake aud
slid the father of lawyers. The mistake
was so small that let it go.
We fad The following afoat in the pa
| pcrs:-
What is slur?'
Almost any remark one singer makes
about another
What is rcst7'
Going out OF the choir 10 eat some
refreshments during Sermon time.
VIVA, is called singing with oil un-
dcrstanding''
Marking time on the hoor with your
feet.
What is staccato movement
Leaving the choir in hut, because
one is dissatisfied with the leader,
What is d swellf'
= professor o. Music. who pretends
20 know everything about the science,
while he cannot conceal his ignorance
Father, hate TIA: Mr.. Smith, said a
Broadway beauty. the other day. to her
honored parent.
why SO my daughter
Because, he always stares at me so
hard when he meets me in The street.
But, my child, how do you know that
Mr.. Smith stares at your
why. because have repeatedly seen
him do it,
Well, Julia, don't you ever look al that
impudent man again when you meet him.
and then he may stare his eyes out, with
out annoying you in the least. Remem-
Der, thu: it always takes two pair Of eyes
to make L perfect stare
| 'Ahem--weli--I- you are
right there, father
Were you present and did you see the
prisoners OF the bar strike Mr.. Jones2'
asked an attorney ola witness in recent
suit.
Yes, STREE, didn't nothing else and
he struck him purpose, too, for sctd
him, did. and I'm gwine to swear all
about it, too, for he tried 10 buy me of
Cor u dollar and seventy five cents, but |
just told him old Josey Rouse didn't
swear to no lies for dollar and seventy
five cents, by jug full, and if my cdifi-
cation warn't worth two dollars, he might
go to thunder. and I'd out with the whole