The Portsmouth inquirer. [volume] (Portsmouth, O. [Ohio]) 1849-1855, 1851-08-11
MISCELLANEOUS.
A Curious Story.

A writer in the Philadelphia Sunday Dis
patch gives the following as one of the expe-
riences of an editor of daily paper in that
city:
There were SO many persons who visited
the editors with design to discuss in rathe-
summary manner the subject Of their grivr
ances, that these little embellishments (pis-
tols) seemed somewhat indispensable. 1t
does not. appear, however, that they called
into active use, sight of them usually an
swerlng a very pacifcatory purpose. One
day, when they were out OF sight, tall.
stout, athletic person entered the editorial
room very quietly, and perceiving the gentle
man present whom he especially wanted, he
carefully closed the door and locked it, and
deposited the key in his pocket. The editor,
who was engaged in writing, looked up, eyed
these notes Of preparation withsome anxiety,
and placing his hand in his coat bosom
awaited the result. The visiter after assuring
himself that there was no eaves-droppers,
took eatopposite the editor, and for mo-
ment they gazed silently and calmly at each
other. The one, as we said, was tall,
round, well-built, and solid figure of mau-
kind. The other was short, slim, appa-
rently active and evidently disposed to take
some measures of defence, if suddenly called
upon. The visiter quietly said
I'VE are alone, / thinkY t
The editor merely nodded assent.
'You are unarmed, see 2
To this there was no reply, but sort of
sneer crossed the face Of the gentleman of
the quill.
mo matter sir, / am twice your size. Pve
reason to wish your death. The key Of your
door is in my pocket. There is no one
within call, for i looked in every room as !
came up.
The editor said nothing, but kept his eye
fixed upon his visitor.
4 am desperate man, and accustomed TO
scenes of violence. Now, sir, what is there
--he said this rising-'to prevent me crush
ing you here beneath my feet, at once, and
putting an end to my worst enemyY
The editor quietly drew pistol from his
pocket and cooked it-but without removing
bis eyes from the face Of his yisiter.
Very good. Isee you are provided. It
looks like good article, too. But put it up.
didn't come here to murder you, or might
have done itwhen / first entered And he
Te-seated himself.
May l politely inquire your name and pur-
pose, now that we appear to have better un-
derstanding ? said the editor. VI.
MY name is Wood. / am a professed
thief.
Sir said the editor, springing to his feet.
Don't be SO inpatient quietly added the
visiter. Ididn't come here to rob you. And
even if 1t were in my way, carefully looking
round, there is not much here that would re-
pay the risk
'Ah, well--go on Mr.. Wood"
lam thief SIR
That's candid enough, at any rate, Mr..
Wood.
i understand your sneer sir. But am
neither pick-pocket nor highway robber.
] am burglar, sir, by profession, and well
known 10 most of the police
Don't you think sir, that could as conven-
iently listen to your confessions with the key in
the bort
you mistake me again, sir, said the visitor.
y had no intention to carry off your key. But
have something to say, to which ] am deter.
mined you shall listen; and you'll excuse me if
seem rather impatient, and singular in my way
ofdcing business forI don't choose TO be inter-
Iupted.' a6lu t ss1t
!. Go on, Mr.. Wood said the editor. And he
threw himself back in his chair. half closed his
cyes, s,and through the other half watched all the
motions ofhis company.
tMy name is Wood; am celebrated as bur.
glaE Thepolice know II. But we have rnu-
fual interest in supporting each other. Ifthere
were no burglars, society would need no police.
II there were no police, burgIats would be too
abundant. All would become burglars. and
the business would be Improbable
Curious philosophy ~ tIsl
Good as any other, sir, besides being praeti-
cal and founded upon acknowledged social TACT
instead Of iniellcciuni theofies.' sf 81 4 Y
rWeIl, eli--go on." sel
~ robbed MI. Ms store, in NJ