Southern standard. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1851-1856, 1851-09-20
From tie Spirit Of tie Times.
Abel HBckS in a Tight Place.
BY TIE AurHos OF 8. COUSIN SALLY pILLARp I"

MoNkoE, Union Co., n. Y, July 4, '51
Mister Porter: l wishes to lay case before
you that think is hard. Tou see | was born a
poor man, and luck has been agin me ever sense
was born; and what's worse, the law has been
agin me, too. l mout have stole several times,
and not been found out, but that's agin my prin-
spes. | don't how them as gets rich by
stealing can enjoy their riches-I couldn't do il,
and so | wouldn't steal. | mout have lugged and
loafed about as some does but I'm above that too;
$50 have suffered some in this world and | al
lows TO suffer some more before I'd either steal or
lug. But that's not to the pint--or rather hoLf-
ptat: for the worst in my case was half pint to
begin with | spose l had drunk about that
quantity of lhe ardent, when who should come
along but "Forty, foot-Housto,a' Now, Mr. P,
it so happens that l am q iow man in inches, and
can bear for one Of those tail fellows TO be look
ing over nay head at something beyond me. Scs L:
Mr.. Houston, look some other course
Ses he: whats the matter Hucks 90
Ses Il don't want you to be a standin' thar
a lookin' over my he'd
Why" ses be, ..Hucks you are fool %
That ehutf; had alters wanted to hit a tail
man, and Fortyfoot was the highest had ever
seen. So goes up and jags him in the short ribs
Ses he:
''Quit, Hucks-you are fool!'
Well, upon that l digs into him agin. Well,
the two arms, and gives me shake that made my
teeth chatter and my eyes strike Ere, and he hands
over the fence to a constable, and Ike takes me
down to Sabett's cross roads, where the Court was
held in masheen machine house, and Lawyer
''Joolus'' was employed to defend me. He is a
mighty good hearted man, jocluS is, and so is
Judge Battle that tried me; but thar was no
chance for to git off, and so fesses guilty ard
Joolus turns into beggin' the Judge He said
was poor unfortunate man, with six children, and
little given to liaker; and there vas 70 Jail nj
er than Charlotte, and it-would never do 10 send
me to iail
Has you got any stocks here ?' ses the Judge
to the Sheriff
mo, sur ses the Sheriff ''shis is the second
court ever held in the county Of Union, and we
ain reddy with sich things yet"
Well ! felt a bit of relief when heard the
Sheriff S anser and the Judge looked down at
piece of paper, and then he says
8 Mr.. Clerk, record the Judgment of the Court:
Let DIR. Hucks be confined in the stocks for one
hour. And, says he, Mr.. Sheriff. YOU can come
as near possible to execute the judgement of the
court
How is that? ses Joolus, faring UP and look
ing wrathy at the Judge. Your honor don't
mean to infict any unusual punishment 90
ooh. no p says the Judge latin; ''the mode
OF carryin out the sentence is left 10 the Sheriff.
some cried Tense, Jooixs, and so he got mad
der still, and says: Mr., Sheriff. | dar you to do
that!''
And SO they took me out Of the courthouse on
a general laff, and as the lawyers came along to
dinner, there was lying with both legs through
the carck of rail fence. and some feers settin
the fence making sport of me
And heared that queer-looking feer. "Ham
Jones, say-Joolus, took at your client p
III. 7 II
He turned to the Judge, and be says MY God,
Judge | never had client in such fix before y
And the Judge and all of them lawyers laugh
ed out But | felt hurt--iny feelings vas hurt
well as my legs. | don't know whether not you
are lawyer but | want to know whether or not
it is accordin to the American Constitution, to put
a felleTs legs through rail fence because they
havn't got stocks in new county? l want to
know, siri for if that be accordn TO the constitu-
tion, I'll 60 across the line to South Carolina and
help to make a new constitution
Yours 10 command, ABEL HucKs