Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1851-10-29
ONE OF THE WITNEssEs.-Tbe late J. s

ONE OF THE WIrNEssEs.-The late J. S
man of infinite wit and humor, and who
, had probably seen as much Of life in Ameri-
, ca as any one, used to tell the following
story, which is too good to be lost, though
probably no one bu, he could do such full
: justice 10 it. If we err not it ran someho W
thus:
What railroad stock is in the east steam
boat shares are in the west. and % almos,
everybody owns more or less, i. is almos,
impossible 10 procure a judgment agains,
any company for injury, carelessly, or even
loss Of life. Such suits are yet very fire.
quent,> and give rise TO some very strange
contretemps.
Not long since, it seems steamboat call
ed the "Old Kentuck" blew up near Trinity
at the mouth Of the Ohio, where it is we'll
established fact that great many of the mus
Iquittoes will weigh pound, by which &C
cident lady rejoicing in the name of Mrs.
Jones, lost her husband and her trunk, for
both Of which an action was brought.
There was, strange TO say, great difficulty
in proving that Mr.. Jones had been on board
The boat at the time of the coll lapse, tina,
worthy having VIGOROUSLY been very drunk
on the wharf boat just as the steamer left
Trinity.
Many witnesses were examined to prove
The fact, until finally Mr.. Deizmar, Ger
man was placed on the stand. Our friend
J. S. was attorney for the boat, and elected
from Mr. Deizmar this testimony:
"Mr. Dei'zmar, did you know the Old
Kentucky"
"Yab, ] was blown up mid her''
"Were you on board when she collapsed
her f1ue 30
"When she burst her bile - Yah was
dare
"Did you know Mr.. Jones -
ITO be sure-Mr. Jones and took pas
senger toge,her.'
"Y GU old ? When did you last see Mr.
Jones on board the boat -
"Well ! didn't see Mr. Jones aboard de
boa, last time"
J. S. fancied his case was safe, and With o
mos, triumphant glance o, The jury, said:
you did not? Well, Mr.. Deiizmsr,
when las, did you see Mr.. Jones -
swell, achen the smoke pipe and me 1cas
going up, ace met Mr.. Jones coming do,0n."
Punch has a carca'ure representing him
self at the seaside, accos,ed by John Bull.
as blubbering boy, who exclaims, ''There's
a nasty big American has been beating me!'
In the distance are yachts under sail, and
TALL figure answering 10 the English conven
,ional idea Of Brother Jonathan. But this
is not all. Even The American circus COM
pany, at Drury Lane Theatre, comes in for
share Of The SHUTTER" so lavishingly spread
over Yankee notions lhroug bout England.
Punch has been at the circus. and quotes
some of the stale Jokes Of the clowns as very
funny. He says At fury Lane, the rid
ing takes higher bound than we ever wit
messed in similar arena. Their ambition
seems to be Of the most vaulling description;
the grea, merit Of which, often as i, leaps,
until counting becomes bore, is that il
.'never o'erIeaps itself.' There is grand
game, called ''Battoule Lesping," in which
the arl ofIeaping is carried to the very great
es. height. zone fellow leapl SO turna,ion
high" the American clown informed US,
"lha, though he went up quite boy in the
spring-ime Of his existence, he never came
down ill he was an old man, with family
of ten children" The a1onau,s must be
rather afraid Of this new Yankee sect OF UNI
pers; for they leap up as high as sky-rocke.s,
and then whiz round and round in the air
like many Calharine-wheels. If one of
them came in collision with balloon, the
Embarrassment might not be exactly pleas
ant. The clowns belong TO the tsikative
genus Of clowns; but then it must be recol-
lecIed they spring from an American race,
which may account somewhat for their To-
quacty. Ifanything, they talk too much.
II talk so FAST" said one Of them, ''lhat il
takes Echo six months before it can'give me
an answer, and that's fact. ] talk so tar
nation quick lha, no sleam-engine con fol-
low me and in Kentucky, nineteen old wo-
men a. lea-party, died on The spot, of vexa-
ton, because they couldn't put in sing lie
word, and if tina, isn't the truth, Pm blessed
if my wife mayn's run a. way, and never come
back again.
Short PRAYERs.-SI William Wyndham
gives one made by soldier jus! before the
battle of B|enheim
20, God, if there be God, save my soul
if have soul"
Sir David Hume gives one made by q
distinguished cavalier just before the ba'1le
of Edgehill.
20, Lord, thou knowes. how busy must
be this day; if | forget thee, do not thou
forge. me-"
ST. Folk gives one Of La Hire:
) 80. Lord ! beseech thee this day to per-
form for La Hire as much as thou woulds,
wish La Hire TO perform for thee II he were
God and thou vert La Hire.
And he faucied that he prayed very de-
|. voully.
Dobbs says there is all advantage abou
plaid ,rowsers-every time he gets asleel
I ha hnar ders roll him over and play che ok rs