Washington telegraph., 1851-06-25
VOL. II.

Tue. uouSed IL ana put out.
mos. IL to 117-Mean as rot. Had
no wouldn't pay--didn't owe.
| swore I'd sue. Said might sue and
be hanged. Cursed all the little ones
and hurried from the big. Never got the
first red cent from one of them.
1.-The foregoing is true extract from
my notebook. | have not succeeded a
whit better with the patrons of the other
publications. for which | am agent, as it
is impossible to collect from those who
are determined not to pay. | have said
/ have been away three months. / have
expended in that period two hundred and
ten dollars. travelling, and my entire
commissions amount to eighty-two dollars
and twenty five cents. am very willing
to do my share towards the propa CATION
of news, but more than that no reasona-
BILE man can expect. This business don't
exactly suit mel can't stand it.
"Please accept my resignation and
strike my name from your list of agents.
l admire your paper very much myself,
but it would be a queer looking sort of
a concern that would come up to the re-
quirements of everybody. One wants
independence in an editor--another don't
wan, any. One wants all slang-another
wouldn't touch a journal that contained an
irreverent line with ten foot pole. Ore
sentimental, lackadaisical Miss in panta-
lettes wanted nothing but love poetry.
another never read anything but the mar
riages.
"All kinds of abuse / have to bear, too.
| wouldn't mind it SO much if they only
cursed you aud your paper. but they curse
me too! Swindler, rascal, blood sucker.
These are some of the names they think
proper to bestow upon me. tried fight
ing for while, and thrashed several of
your patrons like blazes; but occasionally
| got licked like thunder myself. Once |
was put in Jail for assault and battery,
and only escaped by breaking out.
"Send me a receipt for the three dollars
twelve and half cents, and believe me,
yours in despair,
AARON SWEATWELL.
Mr.. PUNoH's COUNTER AT THE GREAT
EXHIBITION Punch gives the fol-
lowing account of his contributions to the
great exhibition.
AS nothing, nowadays, is complete
without the presence of MIR. Punch, we
have opened counter at The exhibition
1t is not for us to admire lt--that is a
pleasure we cheerfully leave 10 others.
The value of the counter, however, will
be best proved by the following short
description of a few articles exhibited III
it.: An mnibus--ttlat will allow person
to sit down with his hat on, and give
him room for his legs, without incom-
moding those of other people. A lady
jumper ton the same principle as the
baby -jumper)-to keep the wife quiet at
home whilst the husband goes and enjoys
himself at his club. A !atch-key, which
really has the effect, falsely attributed to
most latch-keys, of turning every clock
in the house three hours back directly the
husband opens the street door. A ma
chine for quarrelsome households, for en-
abling strangers to see at once which
way the cat jumps. A new kind OF
alarm-hell in connection with shower
bath, and an Italian organ, for getting
lazy servants up in the morning. A
clearinghouse meatometer,. to enable rural
visitors to Judge. by the quantity of meat
that is eaten each day, how much greater
their appetite is in town than in the coun-
try.
The new revolver SHIRT, that, by turn
ing round little to the right or left, Is
made to display i'll succession the follow
iEg round of fronts viz; 1o, coored
front, pour la matinee; e, plain trout,
pour la nyominade; 80, dress front,
pour i Opera, on le Bal, and -,
deshabllle front, pour OF 5ult,; thus adj
mirably cctuplniug four shirts in one.
Singularly adapted for foreigners. A ma
chine for making satin paper gloves, to
enable persons TO make their own gloves,
and quite as cheap as envelopes. The
washable parasol, that takes on and oa,and
washes beautifully. The revolving shoe
for horses. purposely invented to enable
gentlemen to ride on the wood pave
ment, as a horse with his revolving shoe
only goes round and round. but never
falls A revolving heel for young gem
tlemen, who cannot waltz without get
ting giddy. The Verdi ear-protector, to
euabe a young lady TO sit out one OF
Verdi's operas without hearing any OF
the noise. The modern housewives best
friend. This consists OF an improved
kitchen sale, which, by means OF aspiring
catches the cat (that dreadful domestic
marander, whose voraclousness IS only
exceeded by his destructlveness) the mo-
ment he ventures nearit. The above are
only few of the wonderful things con-
tanned in Mr.. Punch's counter, but they
are all we choose TO let the public into
the secret of this week.
Bounty LAND WARRANTs.-The Com
missioner OF Pensions has given offlclal
notice that where bounty land warrants