Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1851-05-03
CHOICE OF HUSBANDS.

1t is an axiom that a young girl seldom
marrics her "irst love-" nay, she rarely
has any choice at all, and marres some
man who has chosen her. At first sight,
this seems wrong, yet Mrs. Loudon, the
celebrated English writer, phlosophicaily
says not is right-and, being a widow.
| her experience IS worth something, in ad.
dltIon TO her excellent powers of obserya-
ton. She asserts that men should choose
rather than women, and here is her argu-
ment
Men are proverbialy inconstant and,
after marriage, when the trouble and in-
convenience of children are beginning TO
be felt, and when (the most trying time Of
ally the wife begins to neglect her husband
for her children; unless there was origi-
nally very strong attachment on the hus-
bands side, there is little chance of happi-
ness.
A wife's affection, on the contrary, al
ways increase after marriage and even if
she were Indifferent before, no well dis
posed woman can help loving the father
Of her children. Children, on her side,
are bond OF union, and though she may
appear for them to neglect some of those
little attentions which men seem naturally
10 expect, it is only because the child is
the more helpless being OF the two, and
the true woman always takes the side of
those who are most feeble.
1t is 4 strange but melancholy fact, that
when young girls fancy themselves in love,
they are seldom if ever happy, if they
marry the object of their choice. The
fact is, in most cases they find the husband
they have chosen quite different person
as an individual, from the imaginary OBJ
ject he had appeared as lover. The i'm
agination in most girls is stronger than the
Judgments and as soon as The first idea of
love is awakened in female heart the i'm
ag!nation is set to work to fancy a lover,
and all possible and impossible perfections
are assembled together in the young girls
mind 10 endow the object of her secret
ldoatry. The first man whose appearance
and manners attract girl on her entrance
into society is generally invested by her
with the halo Of these .ecret thoughts, and
she fancies herself violently in love with
out the least real knowledge Of the man
she suppoSes herself in love with. No
wonder then, that if she marries she is mis-
cradle. The object Of her love has van
ished never to return; and she finds her.
self chained for life to a man she detests,
because she fancies she has been deceived
in him.
On the other hand, the man who, with
very pardonable vanity, tancied himself
loved for his own merits, and who was per-
lectly unconscious of the secret deluSionS
OF the girl, becomes, when he finds her
changed after marriage, quite indignant at
her caprice. The friends and relations on
both sides share in the same feelings
"what would she have I" they cry; "she
married for love, and see the consequent
ces."
The consequences are, indeed, in such
cases, generally sad enough. When the
first delusion is dissipated, and the truth in
all its hard stern reality, comes forth from
the veil that has been thrown round it,
both parties feel indignant at the false posi-
ton in which they find themselves. Mu-
tual recriminations take place, each accu-
sing the other of deceit and ingratitude !;
while the apparent injustice of these accu-
sations, which is felt by each party alter
nately, first wounds the feelings, and then,
if repeated, rankles in the wound till il be-
comes incurable.