Arkansas democratic banner., 1851-04-22
4 HiRD SHE'LL STORY.

The man who can read the following story which we take from the paper of our humorous friend Hooper, of Alabama, without the most violent ca- chlnnatory emotions, would make fortune out oi his gravity, by hiring himself out to Undertakers, as chief mourner:
 While attending court, recently, ln the adjoin- ing county of Randolph, friend who is fond o all sorts, and who relates them almost as humor- ously as " His Honor,'' gave Us the following vouching for the substantial, sublunar existence of the parties, and theu present residence in the county aforesaid;'
 Brethren Crump and Noel were both members of the Primitive Baptist Church. and both clever honest men, who paid their taxes and debts as the same annually accrued. with regularity at once Christian and commendable. If, when settling day came round, Brother Noel was "short," Brother CruB1p was sure to be m funds; and on the othei hand 1t almost seemed pmyidential how. if Rrothsi Crump fell s' behind,' Brother Noel always had 6 surplus. Thus borrowing from and lending tC each other, worshlpping at the same church, and living only mile apart, an intimacy gradually ri- peued between them; so that at last they did mol hesitate to speak Tn the freest and most familial manner to each other, even in regard to their res pective foibleS.
 Now, it came to pass, that Brother Crump, dur ing the lveiest period of the cotton season, drove into Wetumpka and disposed of his f"crap" o ten bales, at the very fair price of i2t cents pei pound. It was more than he expected and as the world was easy with him, he determined to invest and actua ly did invest a portion of the proceeds of the sale of hts cotton, in barrel of western whiskey; paying therefor, at the rate of, precisely two pounds of middling cotton for one gallon o " ditto " whisky.
 or course it ixas narrated in the settlement . that old man Crump had bought whole barrel. and after few weeks people began to observe that his nose grew Tedder and his eye more moist The idea that Brother Crump was drinking toe much," diifused itself m the neighboThood until, might say, 1t became epidemlcal People talked and talked-more especially what few T Of other denominations of christians dwelt therea boats.
 Brother Noel was sore troubled' at the scan dal which circulated about his brother and friend and especially regretted the injury brought to tho q 't'ciety' at sharon. So one morning, he stepped over to Brother Crumps and found the old man if half doze in hls little poreh.
 "Won't you take draIn}'' asked Brother Crump as he was aware of the presence of hi, neighbor.
 ''Why, yes, I'm not agn dram when bod, wants t"
 Brother Crump got his bottle, and the friends tool dram apiece.
 Don't you think, brother Noel" said CrumI 'thst speritS IS blefsin P
 "Y-e-s" responded Noel, "spertts IS a bleSsin. II but, accordin' to my notion, lFS a bieSSln' tha some of us abuses"
 "Weii now. brother Noel uso do you think abuses the blcssiu'' r
 " Well. it's hard to say-but people tslk--don't you think you drink too much, Brother Crump ?
 It's hard to say--its hard so say :" returned Crump. Sometimes Pve thontht leIs drink. in too maeh--ihen agln. I'd think mag O. not.-- What is nan A weak wrrum of the dust '- What the Lord saith, that shall be done So left it to the Lord to say whether l was goin toS f,ar ' ,l.,Is. IA hm prayed to him, ef 1 was drinSin' too much to t1ke aesy my appetite for sFcrits."
 Here Brother Noel groaned pioasly. and aSked- "What then, Brother CTump F'
 " And'--teplied Crump-"Pye psayed tha prayer three times, and he haint done Il So fa clear of the 'sponsihiiity, any way
 '.The Lords will be doas H ejacula.ea Noel and after taking another dram he went hotne thinking all the way, how oleyerly Brother CramI had st,ftst hs responsibility!