Cooper's Clarksburg register. [volume] (Clarksburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1851-1861, 1851-12-10


gentlemen broke up the comments of my.
busting interrogation, and one of those
pauses occurred which frequently do upon
the appearance of strangers. Uncle Ben
asked Jefferson if he would not like to
move up to the fire and warm his feet?
Fire 7 said l, FIRE? Why, Uncle Ben,
there is no Fireplace nowadays. Stoves
and hot air furnaces are all the go. This
building is warmed by a great furnace,
and two miles of pipe that conducts the
heat to every room in it, Not by long
way 7 said my busting friendmr,, hoI ~
arv IL n;Ied away among the inventions Of
tbs years that we're. These things be-
long to the age Of your dog churn. Why,
gentlemen continued he, have you ever
heard of the Great Southern Hot Air
Company, chartered in 1860, whose bus
mess is to furnish warm air from the South
to persons at the North price to families
three dollars year all done by gigan-
tic under ground tunnel, and branches,
worked at the other end by an air-pump
Have you never heard of this, gentlemen?
Here we get the natural heat ofthe South
warmed by the sun none of your stink
ing coal and wood gases to corrupt and
destroy it. And then the principle of re-
ciprocity is kept up for we send back our
cold air in the same way: and so we keep
up an equilibrium, for the South is just as
strenuous as ever to keep up the equilib-
rum of the Union. Why, gentlemen,
those stoves required constant care. AS
often as every week it was necessary to
replenish them with wood or coal. No
no those improvements belonged to the
dark ages
Bless me " exclaimed Uncle Ben
Impossible repeated Fulton. And SO
you don't use the old Franklin stove any
more?' said Uncle Ben. Perhaps he
continued, a quiet smile playing over his
face, as if he intended a comical shot,
perhaps you don't use lightning now a.
days either, and my lightning rods of
course belong to the dark ages too"
I'VE have the lightning, and can use it
too, but only one rod, built by the
State, near its centre which is so colossal
and powerful that it protects everything
around it. And then the fellow ratified
on about the use of lightning how it
wrote all over the world the English
language, until verify believe that I'm
Gle Ben, Fulton, and all, set him down as
the most INSCRIPTIONS liar that they had
ever met with.
L think, said Uncle Ben, that could
convince myself ofthe truth of your as
sertions, if l could go to Boston but as
my time is very limited, l cannot.
Send you there in five minutes by the
watch answered the little man or if
that's too soon, in twenty-four hours, 1t
requires powerful lungs to go by balloon
time five minutcs-departure every
( half hour The magnetic railway train
will take you through in four hours, or
on the old fashioned railroad in twenty
FOUR. What p said uncle Ben, is the
old stage company entirely broken up p
Don't know what you mean by stages,
said the little man, but will look for the
word in the big dictionary 60 by steam
boat said Fulton. Steam boat! re-
peated the little man. steamboat too
everlasting slow--not over twenty miles
an hour-well enough for freight, but pas
sengers cannot endure them ; they go la
boring and splashing along at a snail
pace, and they arc enough to wear out
any mans patience. Yet the Steamboat
was the greatest stride ever made at any
one time in the way of locomotion, and
was creditable to Fulton, and the age in
which he lived THAT is admitting
something burst out Fulton, who sat
like a statue, watching the little mans
volubility. Men and their works. con-
tinued Fulton; must be judged by the
age in which they lived. Each improve
ment, as it succeeds the last is aided by
its predecessor, and altogether they make
out the chain of science But said
| Uncle Ben, all this talk don't get me
on my way to Boston. That is my birth
place. was there the last time in 1853,
and you know that according to the pro
visions of my will, there is more than four
millions pounds sterling of my money
which has by this time been disposed OIL
by the State somehow" Uncle Ben wa!
always shrewd fellow in the way of dol
lars and cents, and l could see he wa!
{ very anxious about that money. 'Oho
Ohio = said the little man . so you are
Ben Franklin, and you are the old gen
: tleman who left that legacy We've
got portrait of you up stairs, more thar
two hundred years old, and it does lool
: like you. Glad to see you You sale
something in your lifetime about INNER
| sing yourself in cask of Madeira win,
: with few friends, and coming to tn,
, world in a hundred years again. These
| are your friends, suppose Q Thes
, gentlemen replied Uncle Ben, are Johl
: Adams and Thomas Jefferson, signcrs o
the Declaration of Independence. Tn
other gentleman, continued l, is Rober
: Fulton, whom you have spoken Of
, well, l declare calculated the littl
t man, this is a meeting But about tina
legacy, Uncle Ben, of yours two mil
/. lions sterling of it has gone to build tn,
| Gutta Percha Magnetic Telegraph lines