Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1851-09-11
BEING EXAMINED FOR Ny DECREE.

CIT rooms our class CONSISTED
seven members, by as many PROBES
sors, fifteen minutes being allotted t
each professor to find out the qualifi
cations Of the candidate.
| have already indicated the cours'
| intended TO pursue in my examina
re Noncompliance and assurance wa
Of new method for a candidate, anC
W nigh: succeed where the old plar
would be nearly certain to fail.
% Entering boldly, without knocking
'e the room Of one Of the professors
y who, being superanuated widower
affected youthfulness very much, and
prided himself very much, like Dur.
ham stock raiser, on the beauty o.
his calves. To his dismay | found
him arranging pair OF elaborate
false ones, which showed a great dis
position to work around TO the front
of his spindle shanks. l had him
dead for his vote, sure. held the
calves, while he adapted them to
their places, and smoking his cigar
during his fifteen minutes, he congrat-
ulated me on the progress he had Of
ten remarked, ! was making in my
studies, and at the expiration of that
time, as he conducted me TO the door,
assured me that he would vote for
me, adding, "by the by, Tensas, you
needn't mention anything about the
calves"
swell, here's one vote, sure; would
had the other six as safe," thought
Physiology where are your "You
are wanted!" said |, as the door en-
closed me with the professor OF that
branch, who, unfortunately for me,
was what is called a Misunderstanding
up for nature, bitterly denied the
Liebigian theory, which refers so ma
ny Of the living phenomena 10 chem
istry, and the professors OF chemistry
were nearly at dagger's points upon
the subject, and exceedingly excitable
whenever it was named in their pres
ence. / knew my cue.
"Take seat, Mr.. Tensas; you ap-
pear wondrous full of vivacity," said
the professor, as l entered, singing,
"a was an artery" &c.
ayes, sir, and | can assure you il
is vivacity of the same kind that the
benefcent Creator axhaled into the
nostrils of the first created-life in
the sense in which every reasonable
man-every man with a proper ap-
probation Of the subject-every man
of learning and intellect, and physi-
illogical acquisition, regards the vi
tai principle-and not the degraded
vitality of the Liebigian system,
which makes mans assimiIating
functions a chemical operation, and
degrades his mighty nature to the
level of an ass
"Hideous doctrinep' broke in the
old professor. "Mr. Tensas, would
that the whole class possessed your
discriminating wisdom: then | could
descend TO the grave with the proud
consciousness that man held Of his
existence the same exalted opinion
that have always tried to teach; {
then would | see this chemical theory
of life exploded. Theory which de- S
grades man lower than the brute, l
makes the sublest operations of ma I
ture mere chemical effect, and the
noble action of the lungs a scrape- |
pipe for extra heat; magnificent"
And the excited psychologist, car 7
ried away by his feelings. burst into |
one Of his widest harrangues, bat
tling for his favoriie theory with Il
more vigor than he had ever dis a
played in the rostrum-and there I
never had stood his superior for elo- y
a knock at the door d
broke in upon his declamatory cur C
rent, and damed IFS waters. fl
"Bless me-" he exclaimed, rubbing h
his glasses, and looking at his watch, p
SIS my time QUIT Why, have done C
Ill the talking. But go, Mr.. Ten n
las, the views you advocate attest p
your qualifications. You may de-
bend upon my vote and influence" Il
"Two votes safeI' said |, as re- q
gained the lobby, "and now for old "
Roots, as the professor of Mat. Med.
vas Familiarity called by the class q
les deaf, but thinks nobody knows it Z"
,ut himself. I'll talk low, and he'll |
lot know whether | am answering
Iim correctly or not" e.
stake a seat. Mr.. Tensas. How a.
ire you ;o-day' suppose you are ty
eady for beirg examined! What is Sc
;alomeli." All this being said sofia
,oice. n
ga drug, sir, that may be called ell
he right bower OF quackery, and the al
our aces Of medical murder: refer ST
ed to by Shakespeare when he said,
Throw physic to the dogs" and es- h,
mentioned by him, though o,
typographical error has somewhat 81
,bscured il, evincing its antiquity n
ind universal administration at his Z,
II