Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1851-01-31
Stuff for Smiles.

THE following bits of good fun are from the
Knictrbocker, the most delightful ana refresh
ing of monthly magazines. Long life and all
prosperity to our worthy friend and neighbor -
In the last number, I" O.d .\ict" thus discour-
seth = Home Journal.
- Not long since writes an old friend
and correspondent, 'as was rcturnin, from
Buffalo, was amused, while the cars made
momentary stop, at Il demonstration made by a
crazy man, on MS way to the State Lunltlc
Asylum, at Utica. He standing on the
track, in front of the iron horse:' 'you think
you are somctlingn he said looking wildly at
the locomotive, and assuming IL boxing attitude
'but look o'here: can whip you We hoggcl
the fiery bulls of b Blshan, and broken their
horns Off Say don't stand there, whstlng and
smoking, like a blackgulrd in bar-ronn; Jest
jump to me. and I'll tako the conceit out of you,
YOU d old cooking store on ,cheeisn'
- Possibly our sage western Judges suf-
fer unjust reproacheS at times writes one who
knows, from the conduct of some among them
but, having lived i'll their midst can bear wit
ness to the truth of the following circumstan-
ccs: \ farmer, residing in this region, had re-
marked during the slttlngs Of the ircuit Court,
IA part of his corntiCld to be beaten down in n
rcgua track of ten or twelve PAGES in length,
as if by the ranging Of some animal to AMI fro
Anxious to detect the cause he esconced him
self one day among the thick leaves, and obs
served about the hour of adjournment, one OF
the judges cautiously approaching the spot
Arrived at the path, he commenced pacing it
gravely up and down, with nit brow and air OF
cogitalion and at length, drawing small chip
from his pocket, he spa on one side Of it, bal
ancci it an instant on his finger tipped it up
in the air, and watching its descent intcntly
exclaimed, as it fell: Uha for dctendant-dry
for PLAINTIFF then STOPPING down: 'Pantlti
has itn The farmer avoided all litigation from
that moment.
WHIT miserable cynic an old bach
elor it must have been who wrote the ensuing
description of marriage! He ought to b.
ashamed of himself look at the great mass
of marriages that take place over the whole
world; what poor, contemplate affairs they
are a few soft looks, "A walk a dance,
a squeeze of the hand, popping of the guess
tion, purchasing of certain number of yards
Of white satin, a ring, minister, a stage or
two in hired carriage, Il night in country
inn, and the whole matter over. For five or
six weeks two shcepish looking persons are seen
dangling Oil each others arms, looking at waters
falls, or making morning calls, and guzzlng
wine and cakes then everything falls into the
most monoonouS routine the wife sits on one
side of the hearth, the husband on the other, and
little pleasures, little cares, and little children
gradually gathering round them This is what
ninety-nne out of one hundred find to be the
delights Of matrimony,' We read this, mo-
ment ago, i'll the sanctum; to a young lady of
eighteen, with largo, bright eyes, red and
dewey lips matchlcss tigure-as Goefrey
Crayon writes, Just bursting from her bodice
and she says she thinks 1t 'atrocous,' and the
man who wrote it very great fool p If the
writer could have seen our fair friend when she
said this, we believe that that would have been
his opinion also.
- DO You know that there are some peo-
pie who can never say plain thing in "A plain
way: They must mince and mouth, and adopt
the high taluting style in everything they do
or speak. OF such was tho old maid whom
Ollapod encountered on canll packet boat
Did you ever see Niagara Falls " said a lady
passenger to her No, I'never met them, but
I've heard them highly spoken Of! As a cnta-
ract, merely, their reputation was 'good.'-
Isn't that the right road, whore that stage is
gong" asked another passenger Of tho same
benign maiden LADY, pointing to coach on an
adjacent turnpike. 'Oh no; oh, bless me no
oh, that were the ridge road which they had
stricken upon the hill, DER which the driver had
Just rlz as we come pastn A friend mention
! to us, moment ago, similar specimen OF
atfectatlon and pseudo-sentiment in medical
student, sojourning at that time in the beautiful
! CITY of Elms.' lie was spending an ev ming
at the house of some young ladies', in the 'zum
mer tlme,' when one or two perambulating, am
atory cats, in a noighborlng yard, set up al
awful catterwauling. The student, Xious tC
Improve the OCCASION interrupted the conver
sltlon, which seemed to have been suddenly
enhlnccd rather than lesseaed by tho feline