The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1851-11-29
Guilty but Drunk.
Dun Marbles Story about The Gsorgia Judy,

Not few Of our readers. West and South who
had the pleasure Of an intimate acquaintance
with Dan Marble, will recognize the irresistible
story he used to "teii' of the stolen spoons and
the Georgia Judge. Col. Bradbury, we believe,
once dressed up the Joke and set 1t agong, and
partially IN that gulss We give 1t "A place IN the
annals ofthe cOmmedan:
"Many years ago, while the State Of Georgia
was vet IN lts infancy an eccentric creature
named Brown, was one Of the Circuit Judges. lie
was man Of considerable ability, Of iuilexble
integrity and mnch beloved and respected by all
the legal profession, but he had one fault His
social qualities would lead him, despite his iudg
meut, into frequent excesses In travelling the
Circuit it was bis salmostinvarable habit the night
befor opening the Court TO get Comfortably
corned," by means Of appliances common upon
such occasions. If he couldn't succeed while
operating upon his own hook, the gentlemen Of
the law would generally turn and help him.
"It was 10 the spring of the year, taking his
wifea model Of a woman in her way-in the
old fashioned but strong carry all, he journeyed
some forty miles, and reached the village where
the court, was TO be opened next day. 1t was
along in the evening Of Sunday that be arrived
at the place, and took mp his quarters with a
relation OF his 'better-haif' by whom the presence
Of the official dignitary was considered singular
honor After supper, Judge Brown strolled over
to the only tavern in the town, where he found
many old friends, called to the place, like himself
on important professional business, and who were
proper glad to NEE, him
"'Gentemen,' said tue Judge, fis qite n long
time since we have enjoyed glass together let
us take a horn all around. OF course, Sterrltt
addressing the landlord,) you have better liquor
than you had the last time we were here--the
stuff you had then was not Fl to give dog
"Sterritt who had charge Of the house, preten
ded that everything was right, and so they went
10 work It is unnecessary to enlarge upon &
drinking bout in country tavern--it will quite
answer our purpose to state that somewhere in
the region of midnight the Judge wended his very
devious way towards his temporary home
About the time he was leaving, however, some
young barristers, fand Of a practical joke, and
not much afraid Of the bench transferred all the
silver spoons Of Sterrit to the Judges pocket.
at was eight o'clock OH Monday morning tina;
the Judge rose
Having indulged in the process ofablnton and
absterslon, and partaken Of a cheerful and re-
freshing breakfast, be went to bis room to pre-
pare himself for the duties of the day.
Well Polly, said he to his wife, I feel much
better than expected to feel after that froic o
last night.
"Ab, Judge, said she, reproachfully, You nrt
getting too o.d-you ought to leave of that ousl
ness now.
"Ah, Polly, what's the uso Of talking
at was at this precise instant Of time that the
Judge, having put on his overcoat, was proceed
ing, according TO bis usual custom, 10 give bis
wife parting Hiss, that he happened in thrust
ing bis hand into hi, pocket, 10 lay hold Of S,er
rtt's spoons. lie pulled them out. With an ex
preston Of horror almost indesCribable, he ex
claimed
MY God, pollyl
"What on esrth's the matter, Judge
Just look at these spoons
Dear me- where'd you get them'
Get theml Don't you see tho initials on
them l-extenIing them towards her-I stole
them
stole them, Jrdgel
"Yes, stole them
MY dear husband, it can't be possible from
whom
From Serritt, over there--his name is on
them.
Good heavens how could It happen
81 know very well, Polly--l was very drunk
when came home, wasn't |
"Why, Judge, you know your old habit when
you get among those lawyers
But | was very drunk
Yes you was
Was remarkably so when go, home, Mrs
Brownf
Yes Judge, drunk as fool and forty times
as stupid
II thought so, said the Judge, dropping into a
chair in extreme despondency-l kuey it would
come to that at last. have always stbought that
something would happen to me-that should
do something very wrong-k.ll somebody in a
moment Of passion perhaps-but never imagn
ed that should be mean enough to be guilty Q!
deliberate larceny.
But there may be some mistake, Judgel
mo mistake, Polly. know very well kow il
came about. That fellow, Stertt, keeps the
meanest sort Of liquor, and always dd-hquor
mean enough to make n man do any sort of a
mean thing. have always said it was meat
enough to max, a man steal and now have q
practical Illustration Of the fact. Aud the old
mon burst into tears.
Don't be II child, said his wife, wiping away
the tears, go, like man, ever to Sterrltt tel
him it was little but Of frolic--pass it of Us
ioke-go and open court, and nobedy will eyer
think oft again.
"a little Of the soothing system operated upon
the Judge, as such things usually do, his extreme
modification waa finally subduei aud over Ia
SteritI's lie went with tolcrah.e face. Ofcourso
he had but little difficulty in settling with him
for aside from the fact that the Judges integrity
was urquesiionable, he had an mixing Of the joke
that had been played.
Judge Brown proceeded to court, and took
his seat but spoons and bad liquor and spoons
liquor, spoons, drunk, larceny, and Judge
Brown, was 50 mixed up in his 'whrships' bewiI.
dsred head that lac felt awfal pale if he did not
look so, In fact, the Judge felt cut down. and
his usual sclfpossessed manner Of dispo-jug Of
bushes, his diction and decisions were not what
Judge Brewn had been noted for.
Several days had passed awoy, md the busi,
ness of the court was drawing towards close
when one morning, q rough looking sort Of Gus.
toner, was arraigncd on n charge Of stealing
After the clerk had read the indictment TO him.
he put the usual question:
"Guiltv but drunk, answered the prisoner.
whats that pleni oxclaimek the Judge who
was half dozing upon the bench
"ilc pleads guilty, but says he was drunk, re-
piled te clerk.
what. the charge against the man
ale is indicated Cor grand larceny,
"Whats the case
May it please your, honor said the proaecn
ting attorney the man is regularly indicted ior
stealing large sum from the Columbus Hotel
"lle is eh and pleads
"He plead, guilty, hut brupk
"lhe Judge was now fully aroused.
Guilty, but drunk That is most cxtraor
djnary plea Young man, arc you certain yor
were drunk