Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1851-05-01

followed my mother sulkly till we reached the
spot where we now stand, beneath the shadow of
this huge rock. Oh, my boy could that hour
be blotted from my memory, which has cast a
dark shadow over my whole life, gladly would I
exchange all that the world can offer me, for the
quiet peace of mind should enjoy. But no!
like this huge, unsightly pile, stands the monu-
ment of my guilt forever.
my mother, being feeble in health, sat down
and beckoned me TO sit beside her. Her look,
so full of tender sorrow, is present to me now,
| would not sit, but continued standing sullenly
beside her. Alfred, my dear son. said She
have you lost all love for your mother? did
not reply. Il fear you have she continued
and may God help you to see your own heart
and Inc to do my dutyn She then talked to me
OF my misdeeds, of the dreadful consequences of
the course was pursuing BY tears, and en-
treaties, and prayers, she tried to make an i'm
preston upon me, She placed before me the
lives and example of great and good men; she
sought to stimulate my ambition. was moved,
but too proud to show it, and remained standing
IN dogged silence beside her. thought, 'What
will my companions say, if after all my boasting,
yield at last, and finally submit to be led by II
womanH
What agony was visible on my mothers face
when she saw that all she said and suffered, fail
ed to move me She rose 10 60 home, and |
followed at distance. She spoke no more to
me till she reached her own door.
"' 1t is school time now said she. q Go, my
son, and once more let me beseech you to think
upon what have said
"' sha'n't 60 to school, said |.
"She looked astohished at my boldness, but
replied, firmly,
Certainly, you will 60, Alfred. l COM
mand you.'
81 will not' said |, with tone of defiance
"' One of two things you must do, Alfred
either go to school this moment, or will lock
you in your room and keep you there till you
are ready to promise implicit obedience to my
wishes in future
"'I dare you to do it, said I, you can't get
me up stairs
Alfred, choose now,' said my mother, who
laid her hand upon my arm. She trembled vo-
cntly, and was deadly pale.
GO If you touch me will kick you,' said |, in
a terrible rage. God knows knew not what
said,
Will you go, Alfred?'
g" Mo- replied, but quailed beneath her
eye.
"' Then follow me- said she, as she grasped
my arm firmly. | raised my foot-oh, my son,
hear me II raised my foot and kicked her-my
sainted mother! How my head reels, as the
torment of memory rushes over me kicked
my mother-a feeble woman-my mother She
staggered back few steps, and leaned against
the wall. She did not look at me- | saw her
heart beat against her breast Oh, Heavenly
Father she cried, forgive him-he knows not
what he doesp The gardener just then passed
the door, and seeing my mother pale and almost
unable to support herself he stopped she beck
oned him in. Take this boy up stairs and lock
him in his own room,' said she, and turned from
me. Looking back as she was entering her room,
she gave me such a look,-it will forever follow
met was look of agony, mingled with the
intensest love-it was the last, unutterabe pang
from heart that was broken.
"In moment found myself prisoner in
my own room. I thought, for a moment, |
would fling myself from the open window, and
dash my brains out, but felt afraid to die. II
was not peRitent. At times my heart was sub
dued, but my stubborn pride rose in all instant.
and bade me not to yield. The pale face of nv
mother haunted me. flung myself ON the bed
and fell asleep awoke at midnight, stiffened
by the damp night air, terrified with frightful
dreams. would have sought my mother at that
moment, for trembled with fear, but nv door
was fast With the daylight my terrors were
dissipated, and | became bold in resisting all
good impulses. The servant brought my meals,
but | did not taste them. | thought the day
would never end. Just at twilight heard
light iootstep approach the door, twas my Sis
ter, VINO called me by heme,
&c What may | tell mother from you " she
asked.
Nothing Ireped.
"'O Oh, Alfred fol my sake, for all our sakes,
say that you are sorry-let me tell mother that
you are sorry. She longs to forgive YOU
"' won't be driven to school against my will
said l.
"'B But you will 60 if she wishes it, dear AL
fred,' said my sister, PleadingIy.
&c No, | WON'T said |, ard you needn't say
a word more about it,
{" Oh, brother you will kill her, you willkil
her, and then you can never have happy mo-
ment again
"' made no reply to this. My feelings were
touched, but still resisted their kind influence.
My sister called me, but would not answer. |
heard her footsteps slowly retreatng, and again
| flung myself upon the bed to pass another fear
tul and wretched night. Oh, God how wretch
ed how fearful did not know.
"Another footstep slower and feebler than
my sisters, disturbed me. A voice called me
by name, 1t was my mothers.
"'Alfred, my son, shall come in? Are you
sorry for what you have done p
4" "lcannot tell what influence, operating at that
moment, made me speak adverse to my feelings.
The gentle voice of my mother that thrilled
through me, melted the ice from my obdurate
heart and lOnUpd IN throw n,vsef m bar npcly
but did not No. my boy, l did not But my
words gave the lie to my heart when | said |
was not sorry. heard her withdraw. | heard
her groan. longed to call her back, but did
not,
~ was awakened from an uneasy sumber by