The Planters' banner. [volume] (Franklin, Attakapas Co., Lou.) 1849-1872, 1851-06-14
pleased me. Beautifully chiselIed,"
said | still regarding the object of my

oil young lduIeS, JoStru dpout pdCAOloi-
| ship, saying that the gentlemen could
never get married.
"Not at ALL" said |, "the difficulty is
to find nose-I mean lady to suit,
focilis deeenus AUerni, sed TeUoenre
grandus.a r5 sTz
She fairly shrieked, and exclaimed
against those horrible classics, asking
me if saw anything Of the blue stock
ing about her.
1.-TWO such nice little holes,o said |,
regarding the nostrils. and not noticing
| her remarks; but suddenly looking from
her nose to her feet, that she might not
discover my thoughts. She seemed
anxious to draw me into conversation;
and asked me if had ever been to
Niagara.
"What a bridgeH said !, in an under
tone ...
II don't like the bridge at all" said
she pettishly. -.
! "Pardon me, miss" said I, coloring,
"I have said, perhaps, too much"
| She seemed to think | had said too
little.
| | bade her good bye, took my leave,
and hoped TO have the pleasure Of a
further acquaintance, TO which she
kindly responded.
The next day bought treatise on
nosology, and being somewhat trigo-
nometrician, took my instrument to ind
| the precise proportion of her nose
Having ascertained it 10 be an acute
tangled triangle Of about forty degrees,
[ sailed out for walk. examining the
noses Of everybody met. SO particu-
larry, that liked to have mine pulled
more than once during the day for my
supposed impertinence.
Not knowing exactly the etiquette of
courtship, | supposed the best way to
conciliate my dulcinea would be to pur-
chase her some presents. Arming my
self with a beautiful bouquet Il prefer
the country name nosegay,';l and one
dozen fine handkerchiets started for
her house again. With some hesitation
presented my gifts. She seemed a
little surprised at the handkerchiefs,
but smiled gracionsly al the bouquet,
aud held it to her nose. trembled
with delight and admiration. | began
10 feel queer. l experienced an ire
sistable desire to pull that beautiful
little nose. to see how ii was fixed on.
Tn the midst of my trepidation. scarcely
knowing what did, ! fell upon my
knees. as. =
AMy dearest Heller" SAID ], catching
| hold of her hands, and locking up into
her ewes, or just little below them.
while Miss Helen bIushed deeply. Il
am frantically, madly. devoutly in love"
II thought felt a slight pressure OF
the hand, which encouraged me, with
with an object that has not the power
to reciprocate-"
"Who told you. sir. that-that object
was engaged-and had not the power to
reciprocate."
"All-everybody, my dear Helen," |
cried. "erery anatomist, every one that
knows anything about nose, is aware
that it does not possess one tender teel-
ing. except when you pull 1t or have
a very bad cold"
Sir" said she, rising in evident
anger, and turning up her nose, " do yon
mean TO insult me % She seemed 10
choke for words. "Can you see no
other quality to admire but my nose !'
No. nv dear miss" said |, frankly.
Il can see no further than your nose
.Allow me 10 say, sir" said she,
highly excited, that | have been in
sulted. and that request YOU TO leave
the house, and never let me see your
nose again." 8
i went home rather detected, and lii
my cigar with a couple OF leaves from
| my Treatise on Noseology, and then
went TO bed.
I. The next day learnt from her ply
sician that Miss S. had fallen on the fce
4 and broken her nose, so as to spoil CON-
pletely the appearance of that feature.
! Never was general so oYerloyed at
the winning of a battle as | was on
hearing this news.
i I made solemn VOW that would
never speak-think-or write kindly
7 about women.
A PHILosopHIc EDIToR.-The editor
of the Alabama Argus, published al
Demopolis, in Marengo, makes merry
after the following fashion over what
most folks would consider a serious
trouble:
| We see the sheriff has advertised the
z Argus office for sale during our absence,
We hone the bidders will have a merry
!. time of it. If the sheriff can sell it, ne
will do more than we ever could Like
j, a damp percussion cap, we think It VIII
| fail'to sgo off" -e@; $500
4 INSTINCT OF THE TuRTLE-ft has been
i observed that turtles cross the ocean
from the Bay of Honduras to the Cay.
i man Isles, near Jamaica, distance oi
/ $50 miles, with an accuracy superior 10
] the chart and compass of human skill
for It is affirmed that vessels which
have losttheir latitude in hazy weather
! have steered entirely by the nose OF the
turtle in swimming. The object oi
their voyage. as in the case Of the mi,
! grafton of birds, is for the purpose Of
Il = II Il e