Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1850-1854, 1851-10-17
THE RIVALS.

already up and dressed, had visited his patient
MY name is Morgan" said the homGpathist
IL am physician | leave in your hands pa
tent whom, fear, neither ! nor you can restore.
Come and look at him"
The two doctors went into the sick ROOM
Mr. Digby was very feeble, but he had recover
ed his consciousness and inclined his head cour-
teously.
Il am sorry to cause so much trouble" said
he
The homppathst drew away Helen the al
opathst seated himself by the bedside and put
his questions, felt his pulse, sounded his lungs.
and looked at the tongue OF his patient Heens
eye was fixed on the strange doctor, and her col
or rose, and her eye sparked when he got up
cheerfully, and said, in pleasant voice, you
NAV have little tea"
Tea" growled the !omGopathist, 'barbari.
an"
'He is better then, sir ?" said Helen, creeping
to the allopathst.
'Oh yes, my dear, certainly, and we shall do
very well, hope"
The two doctors then withdrew.
"Last about week ?" said Dr. Dosewel smi-
ling pleasantly, and showing very white set of
teeth.
II should have said a month"; but our systems
are different" replied Dr. NJ. drily.
Dr. D., (courteously0 ave country doctors
bow to our metropolitan superiors; what would
YOU advise You would venture, perh aps the
experiment of bleeding
Dr. NJ, (splutering and growing Welch,)
which he never did but in excitement :-"Pleed!
Colt in heaven! do you think I'm a butcher, an
executoner Pleed never!'
DR. D.: 81 don't find it answer myself when
both lungs are gone! But, perhaps you are for
inhaling."
DIR NJ: "Fiddledee!'
DR.. d., with some dspleasure: } What would
you advise then, in order to prolong our patients
life for month -
DR.. NJ: Stop the hGmmoptysls; give him
RhuS :"
Dr. NJ: "Rhus Taricodendron.'
The length Of the last word excited DR.. DIS
respect. A word of five syllables, this
something like! He bowed defferentlally, but
still looked puzzled. At last he said, smiling
frankly, "lou great London practitioners have so
many new medicines, may ask what Rhus tox.
leo, ioxico, Deydron, is?'
"The juice of the upas, vulgarly called the
poisOn-tree."
Dr. D., startled :'Upas, poison tree, little birds
that come under the shade fall down dead -
You give upas juice in hGmoptysis what's The
dose p
Dr. NJ. grnned maliciously, and produced a
gobue the size of small pins head. DR.. ID.
recoiled in disgust. oh" said he. very coldy
aud assuming an air of superb superiority, Il sec
a hnmGopathst, sir 2"
"a homeopathic -
"Um?"
"Um!"
Astrange system, DR.. Morgan" said DR.. Dos
well, recovering his cheerful smile. but with Il
curl of contempt in it, "and would soon do for
the druggists"
"Serve 'em right TIE druggists soon do for
the PATIENTS
''Sr :"
''Sir!'
Dr. d. with dignity: "You don't know, per-
haps, Dr. Morgan, that am an apothecary as
well as surgeon. In fact" he ADDED, with a
certain grand humility, a have not yet taken a
diploma, and am only doctor by courtesy"
DR.. NJ: "Ail one, sir! Doctor signs the death
warrant; 'pothecary does the deed -
DIR. D., with whitening sneer "Certainly,
we don't profess to keep dying man alive upon
the Juice of the deadly upas tree"
DR.. NJ. complacenily: "of course you don't
There are no poisons with us. That's Just the
difference between you and me, DIR. ID )"
DIR. d., pointing othe hompopa,hlst's travel
Indeed | have always said that if you do no
good, you can do no harm, with your iniinitesi-
mails
Dr. NJ who had been obtuse to the inSinuation
of poisoning, fires up violently at the charge of
doing no harm, "Y GU know nothing about ii =
could kill quite as many people as you, It |
chose it but don't choose it,
DIR. D., (shruggiug up his shoulders , ''Slr !
It's no use argueing; the things against com
mon sense. In short, it is my firm belle. that ii
is, is complete
DR.. NJ a complete what ?"
DR.. d., provoked to the utmost:) "Iinm-
bug
DR.. NJ "Humbug! Colt in Heaven! You
old"
Or D. :"Od what, sir?"
DIR NJ, (at home in series of Literal novels
which none but Cymbriam could have uttered
without gasping } "Old allopa1hical anthropoph-
agte!'
DR.. D., (starting up, Selling the back Of the
chair on which he sat, and bringing 1t down vio-
entIy on its legs } Sir"
DR.. NJ, Gmitating the action with his own
chair } Sir :"
Dr. d. :"You're abusive"
DR.. NJ. "Iour impairment"
DR. ID. Sir"
The two rivals fron,ed each other. They
were both athletic men, both fiery men. DIR.
Dosewel was the taller, but DIR. Morgan was
the stouter Dr. d., on the mothers side was
Irish; Dr. NJ on both sides, was WEIGH.
All things considered, would have backed
DR. Morgan if it had come to blows. But luck
Iv for the honor of science, here the chamber
maid knocked at the door, and said the coach Is
coming" Morgan recovered his temper and his
manners at that announcement.
"Dr. D" said he, Il have been too hot; aPo!-
oSse."
DR.. NJ. " answered the alIopa'bist, Il forgot
myself Your hand, sir"
DR.. VI. I'VE are both devoted TO humanity,
though with different opinions. We should re-
spect each other"
Dr. D. "Where look for lberallty, if men of
science are illiberal to their brethren 2
DR.. NJ aside } The old hyPocrite! He'd
pound me in mortar, if the law would let
him"
DIR. D, aside 'The wretched cbarIatan
I'd like to pound him in a mortar.
DR. NJ, Good bye, my esteemed and worthy
brother"
Dr. D., My excellent friend good bye
BADGER BoYs.-Tne BeIos. journal says that
there are fo7Ir brUthers living in that town by the
name OF Rusle, whose aggregate weight is l,l00
lbs, the heaviest weighing 290 and The ilghtest
25O lbs They are all young men, and each Is
six feet three inches high. Beat this who can.