Fremont weekly freeman. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1850-1853, 1851-11-08
short Patent sermon ON kissing.

| hold a very Judas he
Who'd kiss but in sincerity.
My HEARERs-Kisses may be reckoned
among the luxuries of life, rather than among
its necessaries; and the reason why so many
are fond of indulging in them is because they
belong to the superfuities of this world, and
contribute neither 10 the nourishment of the
body nor the welfare of the soul, but merely
afford a moments qualification. Formal or
ceremonious kisses are like manufactured
fowers-very fine in appearance, but wanting
in fragrance; and their superabundance only
goes to show that the present is very artifi-
cial state of society, as the monkey said when
his master put breeches on him. The common
custom of kissing the Bible in order to give
the appearance of solemnity to an oath, unless
the kiss be hot from the heart, is impious
aockery, and ought never to be practiced in
country like this, where christianity and COM
mon sense are supposed to be closely combin-
ed. This cold kind of kissing produces no
blssful excitement, and often leads to bad re-
suits; and have no doubt but the old woman
experienced more pleasure when she kissed
the COW, than half of the young men who be-
stow buses upon the cheek of beauty, un-
warmed by the fire of affection.
My young friends-you may go to your
private evening parties, where all is gaiety,
joiety. hiliarity-where all the lovely angels
of earth, dressed in the snowy robes of purity
look tempting enough to make saint turn
sinner, and perform pilgrimage from para
disc 10 pardition for the sake Of single smack.
Go then, and feast till you fatten upon forfeit
ed kisses: but be assured that, although they
may be attended with some little sport and
amusement. they are Just as destitute of real
extacy as fox's back is of fur in the month
of June, or an oyster in August. True bliss
only attends the warm kiss Of fervent love-
When a young man presses the girl he sin
cerely loved to his heart-when the heart
meets heart-when soul mingles with soul
and when lips meet ips-Oh, then comes ex-
quisite touches of tenderness!- then he can
not help feeling sort of furziness all over!-
and she must unquestionably feel as though
Sc was ready to pin-feather at the moment
Such my young brethren, are the delightful,
but indescribable sensations attending the kiss
ofpure unadulterated love. But he that kes-
ses only to deceive and seduce, imbibes poison
at the time; which, rankles in his bosom, and
induces more or less of grief and modification,
according to the injury inflicted hold him
a very Judas at best-and if after committing
the deed he were to 60 straightway and hang
himself, society would reckon his loss as an
unlocked for and fortunate gain.
My hearers for me, | don't dive very
deeply into miscellaneous kissing, and conse-
quently kiss but few; but when do kiss, an
explosion takes place which must convince all
within that it originates from the heart, and is
meant in earnest. There was time, in my
school boy days, when could extract the
sweets of kiss as calmly, composedy, and
from hollyhock; but now l never undertake
the business of bussing unless go into it with
a heart heated in the blaze of enthusiasm. A
mother kisses her child, and no one presumes
to mistrust her motives; true lovers do the
same to one another, and no evil consequences
ensue ;-doves bill and coo, and they know no
more about the practised arts of love, than a
man knows when he goes to sleep;-but oh!
this kissing to gain some mean, mercenary or
unlawful end, ought never to be countenaneed
in christian community. To kiss in jest, as
is often practised by chaps among the girls, is
productive Of no absolute harm nor actual
good yet the young men love to indulge in it,
and SO long as the amusement is innocent in
itself, have no objections to their gratifying
their naughty, but not wicked propensties, to
their hearts content But they must be care
full whom they kiss. and how they kiss. Some
girls will undergo the pleasant punishment as
quietly as a good natured child submits to
baptism by sprinkling-some twist and squirm
like an eel while skinned, and either return a
smart slap in the face, or exercise no other
defence than by merely saying, why, aint
you ashaimedl-and then again there are
others whom it is as dangerous to attempt to
kiss as itwould be to undertake to break open
the trunk of an elephant. Look out for the
latter sort, my young friends; for they have
teeth like tigers, and claws like wild cats
and you must keep at a respectable dis
tance or pay dearly for your rashness
You, married men, may greet one another
with holy kiss, but don't kiss each others
wives, lest the green eyed monster haunt the
blooming bowers of matrimony. and every
beautiful blossom of connubial bliss be blight
ed in the frost bringing breeze of jealousy
You, young folks, of both genders, partake
prudently of the pleasures of kissing, now
while every kiss is rendered hot by the en-
thusiasm of youthful ardor-for, like buck
wheat cakes, they are only good while hot,
and they will grow cold for certainty as
they go down into the frosty vale of years,
where beauty looses its charms, and pleasure
its power to entice. / want you, my young
sinners, to kiss and get married. and then de-
vote your time to the study of morality and
money making. Then let your homes be well
provided with such comfort and necessaries
as piety, pickles, potatoes. pots and kettles.
brushes, brooms, benevolence, bread, charity,
cheese, crackers, faith, flower, affection, cider
sincerity, onions, integrity, vinegar, virtue.
wine and wisdom. Have all these always on
band, and happiness will be with you. Don't
drink anything intoxicating-eat moderately
go about business after breakfast-lounge
little after dinner-chat after tea-and kiss
after quarreling; and all the joy, the peace
and the bliss the earth can afford shall be
yours. till the graves close over you. and your
spirits are borne to brighter and happier
world. So mote it be.