Lynchburg Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1829-185?, 1851-11-24

perpetra,es the following happy hit at the
Inconsistencies of"Old joe" as he is now
most generally known.
A FULL. PARTICULAR AND SCI
ENTIFIC ACCOUNT OF THE
STRIPPING OF THE MUMMY
| KNOWN TO SAVANS AS "OLD
JOE"
1t is an erroneous idea that mumnies
are confined to Egypt. 1t is altogether a
mistake; for the Wig press has lately
been engaged, la Gliddon, in unrolling a
mummy in Harrison county. known 10 the
scientific world as "OLD JOE" Roll az
ter roll was taken from him and he was
speedily reduced to a condition of shrivell-
ed nudity. As these different cloths or
rolls were removed, the scientific. by the
means of their key. dcciphered and read
the hieroglyphics inscribed upon them
old JOE" in 1927, attended NEE
ting Of the friends Of the administration of
John Quincy Adams in Harrison county.
and then and there seconded the follow
ing resolutions:
Here follow the resolutions which we
have already published.
On another cloth we found these omin-
Gus words: "OLD JOE "vofed for the
Wimot Proviso in the Oregon Bill" AT
this revelation the men Of science stood a.
ghast and amazed. What! "OLD JOE"
who must have died in slaveholding Vir-
ginia, voted for the Wilmot Proviso =
at is a mistake" said one of the Swans
TRY the key again" said another. The
key was tried carefully again and again,
and still the ominous words stared US in
the face, "OLD JOE voted for the Viii
mot ProvisoW This cloth had most dam
nable odour about it, and more than one
of the saraas were compelld to have re-
course to hartshorn and patchoull.
But still they persevere in their inter-
esting investigation, and on removing a
third cloth and applying the key. they
found these words: In 1S47, uhen stare
ing Ireland uas crying aloud to tie h.
mare Of tie earth for breaa-mhm us air
'cas tainted by tie corpses IF Tie starred
men, comen and ch2dren-'OLE JOE
roted in Congress against a bill far us re-
Hcf" On this revelation several of the
sarans tainted outright. and some time
elapsed before they could be restored. One
Of them, son of the Emerald Isle, could
not restrain his Indignation, jumping astride
of"OLD JOE" began to pummel him
with might and main, exclaiming at the
same time-"Och, may the Divil burn ye.
ri Il Nc 81. -.
thrue for yc that ye died cboked TO death
of a prathy." Composure after time be-
ing somewhat restored. the investigation
proceeded; and on removing another fold,
these words were revealed: "'OLD JOE
'crnt his death tor Internal improvement"
and when the last cloth was taken away.
we found this ominous sentence: "OLD
JOE trent his pile for Protectirc Tariff"
Amusement held the sarans for some
time silent. AT last one of them regain
ed the use Of his speech, and thus spake:
Brethren, there is striking resemblance
between this mummy and the one recently
unrolled by our brother Gliddon in Bos-
ton. Brother Gliddon was very sure that
his mummy would, when stripped. reveal
a male form; but, to his surprise, when the
last cloth was taken off. he found his sub
jcct was female. When we commenced
stripping OLD JOE. I'VE expected TO have
found the form of State Rights, Old
Fashioned Democrat" of the school Of
$50; but, to our surprise, he lies reveal
ed, according to Democratic doctrine,
black cockade federahst Of the deepest
dive"