The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1851-05-29
Y2e1I

- LIZ - A1 II
From The Albany Dutehmas.
Crumbs for ALI Kinds OF Chickens.
Poor DEvIL.--The man who marries an
heiress. AS long as woman is dependant
on her husband for support he is surely OF
her wheedling, if not of her good sense.
Let her be able to pay her own way" how
ever, and he is reduced TO non.entity---a
sort OF tenant by sufferance, whose presence
in the house is needed rather 10 account for
the frequency of children, than TO minister
10 its comforts, or take part in its response
bilites. There is but one creature more de-.
serving of pity than such husband, and
that's good naured dog with four lengths
of stove pipe lied to its tail
A late writer, in speaking of Bosiohians.
says, they divide their time between meta.
physics and "Iancy poultry p ard while they
look upon Emerson as far ahead Of inspifa-
ton, they look upon thirty pouad roo,ei as
far ahead of him.
Which is the most difficult TO find, cock
eyed canary bird, or wicked man that
laughs heartily. Vice is moi only as sharp
as steel trap, but almost as snappish. A
rogue may raise smile, but a COOL hearty
laugh is as mu;h beyond his reach as hap
piness.
Before you pronounce on mans virtue
you should ascertain what salary he gets,
Our divines are rather exemplary in their
conduct-Sut when you come 10 recolect
that their virtue is frequently rewarded at
the rate of three thousand a year. you will
perceive that what is now termed morality,
is only another name for seftishness and dis
crelion To teiH Hwhether man is really
honest, let him carry hod for shilling a
day. with the thermometer at 80 in the
shade.
The passion for bare shoulders and short
frocks has so increased with our bellies that
Dobbs says IFS almost impossible to telf
when young lady starts for ball, whether
she is dressed or undressed.
Whether man's pocge, book is full or
empty, il should be closely buaoned under
his overcoal and Jacket. While a purse la
boring under plethora will subject you 10
the kind attentions Of bores and borrowers,
one that h as had the diarrh9a will secure
YOU too many attentions from your landlord
and washerwoman. The best way 10 coms
mand respect, is to throw about your resour-
cas- as much mysterious uncertainty as pos.
sible.
/ A genius up town has just invented ma
chine for ha;ching out ideas. On rest filled
with a rhyming dictionary, two spelling
books and a copy of Tom Moork, he sits an
/ admirer of Willis. Al the expiration of
three weeks progeny of half fedged
thoughts are produced, which will pass. for
poetry with nine girls out OF ten..
Since bellies are so anxious 10 wear some-
thing not worn by their rivals, isn'l it sngu-
lar that none of them have ever thought Of
putting on little modesty? We pause, &c.
"ExTRAvAGANcE"-Such tastes in other
people as we should like TO indulge in our
selves, if we only had the means One half
Of our condemnation is only another name
for an empty pocket book.
The less a man thinks the faster he writes.
Byron would sometimes labor whole day
over single line. The poet 10 Da" s. Mar
tins blacknius will write you al eu.ire ode
in fifteen minutes. People are like trees
the more leaves they produce the less fruit.
The happiost day in a mans life, is tho
day he first thinks of poetry aud milk maids.
There is pink tingo about that period of
existence, in comparison with which every
other portion of our pilgrimage seems dark,
prosy, and miscellaneous.
To brighten conversation, dip it in cham
pagns.
Whether men are ugly when they arc
drunk, depends good deal on whal they
imbibe While ow.pri ced brandy Is invari-
ably given 10 bloody noses and thoatcuting
beer takes to history, and bores you with
'the last war; and CoriolaEus.
Comfort and christianity are more nearly
connected than most people imagine. Elder
Swan says in all bis experience, he never
knew a man 10 be converted while he had
tight boots on. Diyines will please notice.
Timon, in speaking of gossips, says they
have got happy faculty of marrying every
| hodv but Themselves
Dandies divide time, not into weeks and
months, but iato shirts and dickies., A clean
linen day is one sacred to promenades and
pomatum-a dirty linen day, on the contrary
is devoted to Moore's Melodies and all attic
bed room.
Men are like boats, the lighter their draft
the easier they skim about among shadows.
The same philosopher that will sail through
q senate with flying colors, will no sooner
drift into drawing room, then he viii find
himself hard aground on some barren or 9TH
or that a coxcomb will float over with all tho