Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1851-07-15
The Widow and the Wager
OR,
LOVE AND IMpUDENCE.


worthy paf 0 g h Tb 5Vs Bss End dom ad
bred to respectable ideness what terrible straits
are the lot of those scandaous rogues whom fortune
has left to SHIFT for themselves.
Such was my feeling ejaculation when full of
pcnltence for the sin of urgent necessity, wendell
my way to the attorney who had swept together,
and, Tor the most part, picSed up the crumbs that
fell from my fathers table. He was little, griz-
zled, sardonc animal, with features that were as
hard his heart, and fitted their leather jacket SO
tightly that one would have thought it had shrunk
from washing, or they had bought it second hand,
and were pretty out a the elbows They were
completely emblematc of their pOssessor, whose re-
ligon it was to make the most Of every thing and
amongst the rest of the dstresses Of his particular
friends, among whom had the happiness of stand
ing very forward My business required but lutte
explanations for was not oppressed by rent-rolls or
title deeds; and sat down to discuss the readiest
means of turning excellent income for one year,
to something decent for few more. My adviser,
whose small experienced eye had twinkled through
all the speculations of the age and at the same time
taking very exact admeasurement of my capabil-
tiles, was Of opinion that was good for nothing on
earth. For one undertaking, wanted application;
for another, wanted capital.
Now, sir, says he, 'as the first of these deficen-
cles is lrremediabe, we must do what we can to
supply the latter. Take my advce--insure your
lite for few thousands; you will have but little
premium to pay, for you look as if you would live
forever; and from my knowledge of your rattle
pated habits, and the various chances against YOU
will give you handsome sum for the insurance.
Necessity obliged me to acquiesce in the proposal
and assured the old cormorant there was every
likelihood of my requiring his liberaty by the most
unremng perseverance in all the evil habits which
had procured me his countenance. We shook hands
In mutual opinion, and he obigingly volunteered
to accompany me to the Insurance Office, where
they were supposed to estimate mans life to 4
quarter Of an hour and some odd seconds.
We arrived little before the business hour, and
were shown into large room, where we found sew
eral more spectators waiting rueuly for the oracle
to pronounce sentences. In the centre was large
table, around which, at equal distances, were placed
certain little Jumps of money, which my friend told
me was to reward the laborers Of the inquison,
amongst whom the surplus arising from Gbsentees
would likewise be divided From the keenness with
which each individual dared upon his share, and
ogled that of his absent neighbor, l surmised that
some of my fellow sufferers would find the day
against them. They would be examined by eyes
capable of penetrating every crevice of their consti-
tutions, by noses which would smell rat a mile off,
and hunt guinea breast high. How, indeed, could
plague or pestience govt or gluttony, expect olurk
In Its hole undlsturbed, when surrounded by pack
of terriers which seemed hungry enough to devour
one another? When ten or dozen of these gentry
had assembled, the labor of the day commenced.
Most of the adventures for raising supplies upon
their natural lives were afflicted with conce that
they were by no means circumscrbed in foundation
for such project. In vain did the Board eDdeavor
to persuade them that they were half dead already
They fought harp for few more years, swore that
their fathers had been almost immortal, and that
their whole family had been tenacious OF life as
eels themselves. Alas they were first ordered in
to din adjoining room, which soon learned was the
condemned cell, and then belicatey informed that
the establishment could have nothing say to them.
Some had the good luck to be repreved little long
err, but even these did not effect very fatterng or
advantageous bargain. One gentleman had large
premium to pay for a tumor on his knees another
for an extraordinary circumference Of the girh Hand
dowager Of high responsibility. whowas afflicted
with undue proportions Of width, was fined most ex-