The Portsmouth inquirer. [volume] (Portsmouth, O. [Ohio]) 1849-1855, 1851-10-17
CATCHING A TARTAR.
BY A LAWYER.

A worse set than half dozen young dis.
ciples Of Coke and Blackstone, for victim
tofall into cannot be found in the submary
sphere; and defy any one to deny thi.
statement, and produce evidence to the con-
trary. But sometimes, though not often
the case. 1t will happen that even lawyers
instead of catching victim lay hands on q
tartar, and ere aware of the startling fact
find themselves sucked in
Court was sitting in the shire town of P,
-, i'll pine tree State, some few years
since. and q host Of limbs of the law from
the surrounding nelghborhood here did con.
grerate.
One bitter cold night, some half dozen Of
them having obtained full and complete pos
session of the banoom of the village tavern,
determined on having time as is time
Gin slings, hot toddies, ect., ect., were in
abundance, and right merriy these worthless
did partake. Without. it was clustering
cold; within, a blazing fire, and spirit 10
keep toe inards warm, Were plenty.
Why, then, could they not be cheerful.
and in spirits; for recollect, reader this was
before the great temperance movement came
up.
The night was going on apace, and still
with all their cheerlulness, there seemed to
be certain something wanting Cards were
voted bores, and dice and checkers were
placed in the same category.
'Oh that we had some victim with whom
to make merry!' exclaimed Clark. as he
threw puck of cards into the fire. and
stretched out his legs, giving, as he did so
prolongation to the word oh
Scarcely had be given vent to the expires.
ison, ere the sound Of horses feet and the
nttlIng OF wagon were heard upon the
frozen fround, rapidly approaching In
moment stout built, good ma atured looking
person-one Of tn class known as Yankee
pedies entered, and desired his beast might
be taken care. He followed the osller to
the stable to see that job performed.
In luck exclaimed Clalk, as the Yankee
left. Just the thing | was looking for
Wen have rare sport now or I'll never make
another plea
9 A regular green one he looks like don't
ne, Brown?' exclaimed Smith and Jones.
White and Bolt declared themselves ready
for the sport.
But how shall we work him?' asked
Clark. N
Leave that (bic) to me- Smith replied.
III drink him drunk (hic), Pm the most
sober OF any one in the room and we'll fix
him, and leave him TO gather (hic) his scat
Smith, you're TRIUMPH all exclaimed.
'Go-abead, and we're with you.'
Mr. Pedler, said the ostler 10 the Yankee
as they had concluded their business and
were about entering the bar-room. them
ere lawyer chaps have been looking all the
evening for some one to make sport with
SO you'd better keep your eyes OPEN
Keep dark, then, dear fellow, and let
them work, said the Yankee as they entered.
Probably more innocent, and / NAV add
green looking parsonage than The YANKEE
pedleri when he entered the room and reach.
ed out his hands to the fire, could not be
found. ' ~
IT'S dreadful cold out said Smith, and
you had better take something to warm YOU
up little, and he handed an oyeraowino
glass Of hot toddy 10 the Yankee.
yist as much obliged to you as though I
tuuh ~, odiu Tue Iankee. but YOU see list
afore ! left hum, Parson Smith goi me to put but
my name to piece of paper sayin abstain
from all. intoxicatin' drinks, and wine and
cider. and besides that, Ineger drink any
lhi0g often
sSOmuch the better all whispered. I'VE
;sn get him drunk SO much the easier.'
II required not great deal Of persuasion
% get one glass into the Yankee for Smith
assured him he was namesake OF .he Par
'on's and the pledge only meant for him
while at home. 'afT
One glass went and another followed. the
awyers paEiaking the while. The first glass
made the Yankee chatty, The next two foolish
md the uex; two did the business. and de.
Jared him as drunk as a fool. By dint Of
ard iaDor with the assistance Of The ostler.
hey rnennged 70 get himp stairs end into
ed, His clothes were taken offiand placed
. as TO be easily accessible 10, and then the
IWyers extinguished The light and retired. |
AN thistim the Yankee had been lying
'ith his eyes half .open, watching the man. |