The southern press., 1851-04-02
Taatinga of Punch

Iiuhe profess 10 see close connection Det"ceh
t the kitchen garden and morality, as well as a
, near relationship between the orchard and the
intellect They profess the belief that the mind
hourishes on mashed potatoes, and that we must
look for true virtue among cabbage plants and
, beds af asparagus.
We do not look upon any man as better than
his neighbors, because his life may have been
one perpetual round of potatoes, beans and
broccoli nor do we believe that one whose
mind is always in the costermonger's cart, can
attain to any very high degree of intellectual
culture. The Imagination that is bounded by
Convent Garden market, the fancy that plays
about the greengrocer's sieve, the heart that is
true to the pottle, the affections that twine them
selves round the rope Of onions, the sentiments
that mix themselves with the salad, are nothing
in our unprejudiced eyes; and we cannot, there
fore, concede to the vegetar'ans the credit they
claim for a grand union between the market
garden and the moral and mental attributes.
Il We have no doubt there are some excellent
men living on green stutfs, and we think they
would be none the worse for moderate indulg-
ence in a more generous diet The vegetarians
seem to imagine that the virtues are to be cul-
tivated on garden produce that certain num-
| Der of potatoes will make man Raleigh and
that constant adherence to cabbage will ulti-
mately make Bacon. We protest against the
whole system as an absurdty, but admit that
we are open to correction and we promise our
vegetarian friends that when we can be per-
suaded that their plan is something better than
mere CANNON, we will stick to spinach for a
twevemonth
| Cocks AND HENS FROM EGYPT.-What will
Colonel Sibthorp, Farmer Chowler, aye, even
the Duke of Richmond, say to the subjoined,
extracted from the Morning Post!--
"The hens of Egypt now lay eggs for the
Londoners. Thirteen casks were lately landed
at Southampton from Alexandria"
Thus, our real, indomitable English game cock
is to be duly outcrowed by the cock Of Egypt
Once upon time, the king of Spain-if may
trust the letters of Cardinal D'Ossat-was called
"the cock Of christianity" Would he have
stood such an importation of heather poultry !;
and ought our own Lord Stanley, whose game
cocks have national reputation at stake--ought
he as protectionist and proprietor Of Eng
lish game birds---to allow of such a corruption
of the breed of English hens, as these Egyptian
eggs must inevitably bring into our farm yards,
and to the very doors of our British barns
One fact, touching these Egyptian eggs, may
show what we may expect Mr.. Golden, with
contempt of the maternal instinct, worthy of
free-trader, last season set-degraded we should
say-honest English hens upon Egyptian eggs
Aud what is the consequence? Why, the hens
negectful of motherly yearnings, will only lay
their eggs in an oven (to be hatched by wood
and coals)-whilst the cocks, instead of strut
ting, dolcemenie feroce-as the poet says-and
growing English cock-a-doodle- -doos-do moth
ing but perch upon outhouses, for minarets, and
at morn and evening crow-"AAah Bismillah! ]!
Allah! Allah"
"Nor ALLOWED TO BE DRUNK on THE PREM.
IsEs."-No spirits with the exception, perhaps,
of glass of cherry brandy,)-no wine, lex
cepting, probably, taste of antimonia mo
beer (saving, always, the harmless ginger,) are
to be served in the great exhibition. After a
long days journey through its many streets of
counters, we can imagine thirsty countryman
rushing up to the refreshment stall, and being
told that they cannot possibly let him have any
thing to drink stronger than glass of water.
How disappointed, how enraged he will be and
we can imagine his looking round the Crystal
Palace, and giving vent to the following phillip
pic: Dong it must say the building is beau
tiful enough, but tell you | should have ad-
mired your glass precious sight more. if one
could have had drop of summit in it !"
GOSSIP OF THE CRIsIs.-Expectation has been
standing so long on tiptoe, that she is found to
have spraned her ancle.
The protectionist party has been visited by
"bo 10 uioo Saiu W ilfNc HI lIltTNItW
with Cardinal Wiseman, when she told his emf
nence one of her flattering tales.
| Conjecture has been out several times during
the late uncertain weather.
! Runlor has dealt largely in assertion, and h:s
effected extensive sales.
Speculation has returned from marine ex-
cursion having been for week at sea, for the
greater part of the time in dense fop
New TITLE.-We beg to suggest that Mr..
Simon, for his excellent report on the readies1
means of cleanliness in London, should be christ
ened "the real Simon Pure"
Should this catch the eye of the attorney gem
eral, it is to give him notice. that over dairy
mans door in the Hampstead road not more
than FIVE minutes walk from the Geological
Gardens, may be read, in large brazen letters,
the following inscription ;-"John Watkins, pur-
veyor OF milk TO the royal family and the hippo
potlmus"
AN EPHEMERAL MNrsTRY.-The Daily News,
in complimentary article upon the protectionist
party says it is composed of nothing but 'fops,
fools, fanatics, and foxhunters" The existence
of such party, then, composed of so many fs
must necessarily be very fff-fem-r -ral.-From a
Rejected Contributor.
The HIGH BAKER PARTY-The protectionists
in parliament, who-as a jud ;ious housewife
has observed-are trying to get up a ferment to
make the bread rise--wil be known to after
ages as "The members who quarreled with the
belly"
How TO FIND ROOM IN AN OMNrBus.-Con-
ductor-"Woulda any gentleman mind going out
side, to oblige a Lady,"
Unfortunate Gentleman eighty wedged in
at the back)-'l should be very happy, but
only came, yesterday, out of the fever hospital"
Omnibus clears in n minute II
MorTo FOR A SUB-EpIToR-"Autsc scissors,
aut nullus."
A PATTERN SAINT FOR PMLIco-Wbich of
the saints was it that took the veil only to get
married St Bride, to be sure.
GOLD IN ARKANsAs.--For many years geolo-
I gists have anticipated the discovery Of gold in
the primitive formations of Arkansas. but until
l.x,ifh L. LII. G ~