The southern press. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1851-03-18
BY THE +" OLD UN."

the popping OF champagne cork, something like
the report Of small pocket pistol, but exactl,
like nothing but itself. 1t was kiss
A kiss implies two parties-unless it be on,
OF those symbolical kisses produced by one pal
of lips, and waited through the air in token o
affection or admiration. But this particular kiss
was genuine. The parties in the case wer
Mrs. Phebe Mayfower the newly married wifi
of honest Tom Mayfower, gardener to Mr.. Au
gustus Scattery, and that young gentleman
himself Augustus was good hearted, rattl
Drained spendthrift who had employed the tw
or three years which had elapsed since his ma
jority in making "ducks and brakes" Of tn
pretty little fortune left him by his defunct sire
There was nothing very bad about him. excep
his prodigal habits, and by these he was thu
severest sufferer Tom, his gardner had beer
married few weeks, and Gus, who had failed
to be at the wedding, and missed the opportuni
ty of saluting the BRIDE" took it into his head
that it was both proper and polite that he should
do so on the first occasion of his meeting her
subsequently to that interesting ceremony
Mrs. Mayflower, the other party interested in
the case, differed from him in opinion, and the
young landlord kissed her in spite of herself
But she was not without champion, for at the
precise moment when Scatterly placed his auda
ciOus lips in contact with the blooming cheek o1
Mrs. NJ, Tom entered the garden and beheld the
outrage.
"What are you doing, Mr.. Scatterly," he
roared
80, nothing, Tom, but asserting my rights
| was only saluting the BRIDE"
Against my will, Tommy" said the poor
bride, blushing like a peony, and wiping the of.
Tended cheek with her checkered apron.
sand I'll make you pay for it, if there's law
in the land,' said Tom :.
"Pooh pooh! don't make fool Of YOUR
SELF" said Scatterly.
al don't mean to- answered the gardener.
dryly:
"You're not seriously offended at the inno-
cent liberty ! took?'
Yes be-" said Tom.
swell, if you view it in that light" answered
Scatterly, shall feel bound to make you re-
partition. You shall have kiss from my bride
when I'm married"
That you will never be-"
Unjust confess" said Scatterly, laughing ssthe
prospect of repayment seems rather Distant
die bachelor after ALL And if marry-I re-
peat it, my dear fellow-you shall have kiss
from my WIFE"
:" No he shant," said Phebe. "He shall kiss
nobody but me-"
Yes he shall" said Scatterly Have you
got pen ink and paper, Tom!n
To be sure" answered Tom Here they
be, all handy"
Scattery sat down and wrote as follows:
The Willows, Aug.-,18-.
"Value received | promise to pay Thomas
Maytower, or ORDER one kiss on demand"
Augustus Scatterly.
"There you have legal document" said the
young man, AS he handed the paper to the grim
ming gardner. " And now, good folks, good by
Mistakes will happen in the best regulated
families" and it so CHANGED that in the autumn
of the same year, our bachelor met at the springs
charming belle of Baltimore to whom he lost
his heart incontinently. His person and address
were attractive, and though his prodigality had
impaired his fortune, still rich old maiden aunt
who dotted on him, Miss Persimmon Veriuice
promised to do the handsome thing by him on
condition of his marrying and settling quietly to
the management of his estate. So, under these
circumstances, he proposed, was accepted, and
was married, and brought home his beautiful
young bride to reside with Miss Veuuice at the
Willows
In the early days of the HONEYMOON, one fine
morning. when Mr.. and Miss Scatterly and the
maiden aunt were talking together in the garden
Tom Mayhower dressed in his best, made bis
appearance wearing smile of most peculiar
meaning.
"Julia," said Augustus, carelessly to his young
bride, "this is my gardener, come to pay his re
spects to you-honest Tom Mayhower, very
worthy fellow, assure YOU"
Mrs. Scatterly nodded condescendinply to the
gardener, who gazed upon her with open ewes Of
admiration. She spoke few words to him, in
CURED about his wife, his flowers, &c, and then
turned away with the aunt, as if to terminate the
interview
But Tom could not take his eyes off her. and
he stood, gazing and admiring, and every now
and then passing the back of his hand across his
lips.
What do you think of my choice, Tom q
asked Scattcrly, confdentially.
Oh splendiferous !" said the gardener.
Roses and lilies in her cheeks-eh? 2" said
Scatterly.
Her lips are red as carnations, and her eyes
rs blue as larkspurs," said the gardener.
Pm glad you like your new mistress; now
60 to work, Tom"
Il beg pardon, Mr.. Scatterly but called t.
see you on business"
"Wel-out with it,"
"Do you remember anything about salutin
the bride?'
al remember paid the customary homage t
Mrs. MayAower"
Well, don'tyou remember what You promise
in case of your marriage !"
aNow
Tom produced the promissary note with
grin of triumph. It's my turn now, Mr. Seal
tery"
"What do you mean n
81 mean TO kiss Mrs. Scatterly."
Go to the deuce, you rascal"
20! What is the matter p exclaimed both tn
ladies. startled by Scatterlys exclamation, an
turning back to learn the cause.
"The fellow has preferred demand agains
me-" said Scattcrly.
"A legal demand" said the gardener sturdiI,
"and here's the document"
"Give it to me-" said the old maiden aunt. Tor
handed her the paper with an mir Of triumph.
Am right said he.
Perfectly young mar" replied Miss verjuice
"only when my nephew married, | assumed a
his debta; and ] am now ready myself TO pa
yosr claim"
Fairly trapped, by Jupiter exclaimed Scat
terly, in an cxtaey Of delight.
StoP-stop~ cried the unhappy gardene
recoiing from the withered face. bearded lip an