The Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn. Territory) 1849-1855, 1851-10-16

THE MopEL HussAND.--Hs pockes-book h
never empty when his wife calls for money. He
sits up in bed at night feeding Thomas Jefferson
4 Smith with pap spoon, whilst his wife takes q
comfortable nap and dreams Of tbs new shawl she
means to buy at Waren's the next day. As"one
good tarB deserves anctner," he IL allowed to
hold Tommy again, before breakfast, whilst Mas.
SnIiib curls her hair. He never makes any CON-
pant about the soft mo'asses gingerbread that is
rubbed into his hair, coat and vess, daring these
happy conjugal seasons. He always laces on his
wIfe's boots, lest the exerion should make her
too red in the face before going out to pr omenads
Washington street. lie never calls any woman
''pretty'' before Mrs. Smith. He never makes
absurd objections to her receiving boquets, or all
the last novels, from Captain. this and Lieutenant
that He don't Sc. his teeth and stride down to
the store like a victim, every time his wife pre-
sents him with another little Smith. He gives The
female Smiths French gaiter boots, parasols and
silk dresses, without stint, and the boys jack-
cts, pop-guns, selocipedes and crackers, without
any questions asked. He never breaks the seals
Of any Of his wife's billet doux, or peeps over
her shoulder while she is answering the same.
lie never holds the drippngs Of the umbrella over
her new bonnet, while his last new hat is inno-
cent Of a rain drop. He never complains when
he is late home to dinner, though the little Smiths
have left nothing but bones and crusts.
| lie never takes the newspaper and reads il I.
before Mrs. Smith has had chance to run over
the advertisements, deaths and marriages, &c.
Ie always gets into bed first, cold nigh,s, 70 take
off the chill for his wife. He never leaves his
trowscrs, drawers, shoes, Sc, On the floor, when
he goes TO bed, for his wife to break her neck over
in the dark, If the baby needs dose Of pare.
soric. If the children IN the heat room scream
in the night, he don't expect his wife TO take an
air-bath to find out what is the matter. lie has
been known to wear Mrs. Smiths night cap in
bed, to make the bady think i, was its mother.
| When he carries the children to be christened,
he holds them right end up, and don't tumble
their frocks. When the minister asks him the
name--he says, sLucy, SIR distinctly, that he
need not mistake il for Lucifer. He goes home
and trots the child till the sermon is over, while
his wife remains in church, to receive the cce-
gratulations Of the parish gossips.
! IL Mrs. Smith has company to dinner, and
there not strawberries enough, and his wife
looks at him with sweet smile, and offers 10
help him, Cat the same time kicking him gently
with her slipper, under the table, he always re-
plies: "No, thank you, dear, they don't agree
with me.'
! Lastly, he approves Of ''Bloomers' and "pet-
tiloons,'' for he says women will do as they like.
he should soon think Of driving the nai!s into
his own coffin as trying to stop them.
! THE MODEL W,rx-She don't know wcrd
Of French, Italian or German-never reads any
thing but ''Iiints to Married Women" and ''Tbs
Cookery Book"-don't play on the piano, don't
keep but one girl. does half the washing and IRON
ing, makes all the cakes and pies, crts her hus-
ba nd's vests, and her own dresses mends all tho
stockings, turns her husbs nd's pants inside oct,
and hindside before when they get shabby. does
| all the marketing, buys all The wood and coal,
never goes out except Sunday, don't know wheth-
er small or big bonnets are worn, keeps awake
nights. never sleeps daytimes, always looks pref
ty, never looks tired wears smiling face though
every bone in her body acbes, and presents Mr..
Snooks with an heir once a wear, wouldn't speak
70 any man but her husband for the world, likes
to him talk to all the pretty women, rocks tho
cradle and darns the stockings in the forenoon.
then --- darn the noon stays at home in the
evening and mends her husbands old trowers,
while he goes TO hear Jenny Lind, sits up in the
rocking chair half the night nurs ng young Snooks
/ for fear it will disturb papa-bas a great inward
sensation Of goneness in the morning, neverthe-
less rises at five O'Clock, takes out clean shirt
for Mr.. Snooks. washes the faces. combs the heads
Of the nine little Snookses, scrubs their eighteen
little dirty hands, and nurses the baby while apa
is shaving, for fear its crying will make him cut
his face with the razor; helps the nine and her
husband all breakfast time, then eats cold egG
and some burnt toast when they are gone.
Thinks her husband an Adonis-a Solomon
Joseph--is perfectly willing he should engage
to be married coming home from her funeral,
hopes No. will be more worthy Of such treas
ure than ever she was. .-.. s.-...
A Discovery IN SURGERY.-A Prussian.
named Aran, is said TO have recently made dis
covcry in surgery, that is exciting considerable
interest in the scientific circles Of Berlin. II 10
the application of chlorine to relieve pain. Un-
like chloroform, il can be used ithout the least
danger to the patient and is very effective in its
operation. From the account, small quantity
Of the fluid, (from ten to twenty drops,) is drop
ped on the part affected, or on lin, bani xe
slightly moistened with water, and then applied
aud all bound up in oil elk and linen band
After from two to ten minutes, the part becomes
insensble, and the pain is no longer felt whether
be from rheumatic, nervous, or other disorders.
After time it returns again, but usually weaker.
and with several applications, it is often entirely
relieved. The disc0verer has presented memo.
rial on the subject to the Academy at Paris.
THE EARTHQUAKE IN IrALY.-The re-
cent conyulson Of the earth in the neighborhood
Of Naples does not seem TO have created much
sensation beyond the scene Of the catastrophe
and yet II was one Of the most terrible earth
euakes Of modern times, and nearly az destruc-
tive, as the great conclusion in Calabria IN 1888
The city Of Mel6, and the towns Of Venosa, Ra.
pola and Rienora, are masses Of ruins. One viii
Iage. Baville, has literally been swallowed up;
the earth opened aud eneulPhed houses, churche,
, and people The lowest estimate Of the killed
in the district which the vibrations passed j.
, three thousand, and in Me,i alone the number Of
wounded is six hundred. The excavations hat
only just commenced at the last accounts, and
. already eight hundred aud fifiy-seven bodies hat
been exhamed. Sixty five boys in the college s
Melf, pershed together. Some Of the survivors
, in the region where the shocks were mos. violent
> said that they felt as il they were tossing in tn
1 air; '',he earth appeared endowed with breath
ing power, and then came diferen, movement
4 a shaking TO and ffo.''
If the theory Of Professor Sillimsn and o,hs
geoogists is correct, and what call terra fra,
is merely superficial covering, OVERLAPPING vas
magazine cf explosives. we are thankful that ou
, lot is cast in a region where the supper crust"
pretty thick, and the most that the subterrsqueou
* elements can do IS to make our china jingle, an
raise chatter among the loose sashes and stove
\ pipes. Volcanoes seem TO have been designed b
Providence as safety valves to the eaTth's boiler
nd G of fhe<p esr ps,o ,-~(-~