Iowa capitol reporter. [volume] (Iowa City, Iowa) 1841-1855, 1851-05-07
Shifting the Responsibility.


We clip the following from the Cham
bers (Ala.) Tribune 1t is one Of the
last Of the wag Hooper's stories, and TO
our thinking one Of the richest:--
While attending court, recently, in the
adjoining county OF Randolph, friend
who is fond ofjokes Of all sorts and who
relates them almost as hnmorously as CHS
Honor" gave us the following, vouching
for the substantial, sub-lunar existence OF
the parties and their present residence
sin the county aforesaid
Brethren Crump and Noel were both
members Of the Primitive Bablist Church,
and both clever, honest men who paid their
taxes and debts as the same annually ac-
cured, with regularity at once Christian
and commemorate. Ii when settling day
came round, brother Noel was "short, y
brother Crunp was sure to be in funds;
and on the other hand, it almost seemed
providential how, if brother Crump fell
"behind" brother Noel always had a sur
plus. Thus borrowing from and lending
to each other, worshiping at the same
church, and living only mile apart, an
intimacy gradually ripened between them;
so that at last they did not hesitate to
speak in the freest and most familiar
manner to each other, even in regard to
their respective foibles.
Now, it came TO pass that Brother
Crump, during the liveliest period Of the
cotton season, drove into Wetumpka and
disposed Of his scrap" of ten bales at the
very fair price Of l2a cents per 10. 1t was
more than he expected, and as the world
was easy with him, he determined to in
vest, and did actually invest, portion Of
the proceeds of the sale of his cotton. in
a barrel Of western whiskey; paying
therefor at the rate Of, precisely, two
pounds Of middling cotton Tor one gallon
Of ''cit,o" whiskey.
Of course 1t was 'narrated in the settle
men," that old man Crump had bought a
whole barrel, and alter few weeks peo-
pie began TO observe that his nose grew
redder and his eyes more moist. The
idea that Brother Crump was shrinking
too much" diffused itself in the neighbour
hood, until, as one might say, became
epidemical. Peopel talked and talked =
more especially "what few''of other de.
nominations of Christians dwelt therea.
bouts.
Brother Noel was '.sore troubled al the
scandal which circulated about his brothe,
and friend, especially regretted the inju.
!. ny it brought to the "ci'y" at Sharon. Sc
one morning he stopped over to Brothe,
Crump's and found the old man in hal
doze in his little porch.
Won't you take drarn?' asked Broth.
er Crump, as soon as he was aware of tn,
presence of his neighbor.
why, yes, I'm not again dram whir
body wants it,
Brother Crump got his bottle, and tn,
friends took dram apiece.
"Doh't you think, Brother Noel" salt
Crump, that sperits is blessin?'
'Y-e 81 responded Noel; 'sperits is
blessin, but accordin' to my notion, it is
blessin that some of us abuse
\ We'll how, Brother Noel, who do yo,
think abuses the blessin?"
"Weli, its hard to say-but peopl
talk-'don't you think you drink too much
Brother Crump?"
cts hard to say,-i.'s hard to say" re
turned Crump. sometimes Eve though
l wos drinking too much-then again
I'd think may be not, what is man? A veal
wurrum of the dusl!-what the Lor
saith, that shall be done! So left it I
the Lord to say whether l was goin' to
far in spcrits | put the whole, sponsipiiit
on him; prayed to him, eff | was drink
in too much TO tuke auay my appetite 70
spirits"
Here brother Noel groaned piously, an
asked. ''what then, brother Crump?'
"And," replied Crump, I've praye,
that prayer three times, and he HAM
DONE IT! So I'm clear Of the sponsibili
ty, any way
"The Lords will be done!' calculate
Noel, and after taking another dram wer
home, thinking all the way, how cleverl
Brother Crump had shifted the respons,
!. billy!
4 Spunky. Mrs. Boomer, the editress {
! Of the Lily, published at Senaca Falls, n
' Y. dresses in short skirts and pantaloon.
c She seems to like the style, and defend
, il as follows.
e Those who think we look queer, woul
n do well to look back few years, to III
n time when they wore ten or fifteen pound
: of pelicoat and hustle around the body
and balloons on their arms, and the
e imagine which cut the queerest figure, the
: or we. We care not for the frowns
9 over fastidious gentlemen, we have thos
r Of better taste and less questionable moi
y ais to sustain US. If men think they wonl
j. be comfortable in long, heavy skirts, i
: them put them on we have no objection
Y We are more comfortable without then
0 and SO have left them off. We do not ga