Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1851-12-11
TA.llIET.Y.
4 sER,.DN ~ 4 D lR-aooM.


4 sERssiIN ~ 4 y aR-aooM.
We we're amsang the listeners to sermon
1t saeh place.a few days ago Thcpreaeh.
or was stout. rough booking man and sofpe.
what the worse for hiss potations, While be |
stood at the coanter. person entered the |
room, conversisg aloud with his companion.
and swearing niost vebetneatly and without
any apparent provocation. Our stout nc.
auaintanec was at the moment intent on ex
tracing from Bis glass the undissolvei sugar
adherinr To the bottom Of it but. hearing
the loud volley Of oathes he put down his
lumber, wiped his lips with his handkerchief,
and, approaching the swearnr. said-t
Look a.sere. mister The strnnger
looked :" III was to say purity hard things
about the old gentleman. your father. what
would you dol Woulln'tyou smack me
over r.
Is The stranger looked at him ia moment, ana
then said smIingly--
q Pm afraid couldn't doythatn
@Weli,p said the frs, l reckon you
could purity easy, At ali events you'd sarvc
me right if you would Bat old Teller, you
Jest done more than that to me .
I" have - exclaimed the strhnger in sur
prise
Yes, you bsye'' said the first 2 come
hero to3git nav. bitters-it may be leetle
too often1 and there's good many things
do too often that I'd better~hot do at all =
Bat there's one thing dorTt dog and you'd
better lca7e il Of Before you huFt.hny body
elses feelings By it. as you've done mine r
= III, WHAT'S il ~ exclaimed the stranger,
In evident disrhpy
You speaaS certain nqm' TO freely
said the 6rstT--" name you and ! had bet
ter not speak, or only our hats of II
Pardon me. oid fellGSzzI couldn't help telling
you ofthis ~
This saying the poor fellow walked off
and the other followed himNwith his eyes for
moment, when be turned round and re-
marked
q That's butan ignorant, poor fellow per
ceiye; but he .has taught-ne a lesson seall
take care and not soon forget A sin that
brings nofenjsyment is rather loosins af
fair
A GRANDNdrnEa AS two urchins were
trotting along ltogether, one Of them fell and
broke pitcher he was carrying He then
commenced cfying when the other>boy ask
cd him why Ma took on so.
Cause, said he when get home, moth.
er will whip ice for breaking the mug
Whata said tho other, haGnt you got no
grandmother living at your house 2
No, was thu reply
Well, | haye, and might break t,oo nlmgs
and they darnt whip me-
M" Do understand theEcSuusel for the
defendant" asked a eefy farwestcrn Judge,
"te saw. that he is about to read his anthori-
ties, as az t;ast the decision just pronounced,
from tbs bench % =. BY no gtedns r. respond,
ed the counsel i aforesaid = . was merely
going TO show 10 your honor, By brief pas.
sage WHICH was about to read from the book
which hold 10 my hand what darn'd old
fool B'uckstoHs must have been r. :. Oh,
ay r said the Judge, not littlelelated
land there thejnatter ended"
ns- The maa who keeps four Dogs six
cats, two parrots, a monkey, two foxes a bear,
three grey squirrels, says he can't afford to
dress his children wells enough to go to
school-neither; cAn he afford to take news
paper This same man ;he is eeonomi- /
cal be only drinks four glasses Of liquor "a
day, his tobacco duut cost him over S.
year, and he always buys second clasS tickets
when he attends concerts or other amuse-
ments
~ betty, ::said-a learned lady to her
dignity Abigail,s"go for some spirits for the
lamps, and tell cir Mixum that the last he
sent was so very weak that it only served TO
make the darkutss visibleIn
.Yesm," replied BettyJ and away she ran |
with the message which she delivered as
follows
misses the last spirits you sent
60
make the DarkiSs Missrable-it was SO weak |
it was.
~ Why Is Sie soul Of thing Of no con-
sequences Because it is i,nmeteriaL
Why Is hosse on ERE like a pig in
parlcrf Because both ought to be put out
Why is a steamship sailing, like lady
abandoning an e5cellent beaul Because she |
leaves 81 ell behind her,
why Is sugar like pig's eye? Because
il is kept in . h5gs head
RIA late WRITER says, nobody bears ad.
versity ike q honan Remove her from
the parlor TO Aarret, nnd Instead Of taking
arsenic. Is a man would, she actually be-
comes more cheSrful Like lark, tie near.
sr she approaches Heaven the more she.
seems TO sing
HF-A Mag says thas IN ienrneyIng lately |
he vas put into an omnihns with a dozen
persons Of whom he did not know single |
one farming corner shortly after how
ever, Che omnibus was upset .And then.n /
said he, II fouall them all ant5 =
~ =
NJ a ST Louis paper tells rs a story Of |
. disconsolate Nidower, who, on seeing the
remains Of his Eate widow lowered into the
grave, exclaimed, With tears IN his eyes
SWELL, I've lost COWS, but never had auy.
thing 70 cut me like this
~ The faruier whose pigs wsre4so lean
that Il took twe 81 them to make i. ssa,law
has been beat 81 smother. Who hal Iseversl
50 thin that they would crawl out taroawh
the cracks ii their pen re Gnslly ssopnsd
That sfun' b. tyiag xspss Ii fkear fstils
~ An exemplary young laiy up town
il very particular about closiag tac window
cnrtains % her rom before retiring Tor ne
night II orderte prevent the .smsp IS ~
NOON from boxing in