The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1851-09-10
SETTING A BORE.
, BY U. J. JONES.

L
over the finest flow Of animal spirits. as to
be the victim OF bore--a real Neddy,
bray cacke-like the fife Of Oihelo-an
ear.piercing bore. How thenis it to be
caught byione when the skies are lowry
business is dull, and you have note to
pay in the bank! All! don tmention It
why wet blanket amt circumstance!
When ! was In the tobacco and segar
business, had Just such customer. He
came down from the mountain once week
10 buy couple hundred half Spanish Sc.
gars. and he always made it the pretexi TO
bore me for couple Of mortal long hours:
picked out Of days and gloom and despon-
dency. tried innumerable experiments
to get rid Of hin, but all proved abortive.
1t is hardly necessary for me to bore
the reader with a repetition OF my bore's
conversation. II was OF the usual mixture
OF hyperbole and braggsdooia. mixed up
with personal adventurers. rare encoun.
ters. and wise saws from his own mill -
According to his account, nobody could
make him believe that any segars were
made that sold for $40 thousand. mo.
stree. Bob" 1t would not do to cram
such stuff down his throat; he wasn' 'tgreen,
il he was born among the foliage OF the
Allegheny mountains. II | advanced all
idea. or made an assertion. he would
combat it ierociously. without ever suffer-
ing me to explain IL told plain. un.
varnishnd tale-it was seldom. however.
that he suffered that; he met it with sneer.
ing incredulous look that told painly that
my effort was merely labor lost.
| In this manner suffered with him until
forbearance almost ceased to be virtue;
at length. however. hit Upon plan
which most ef.ctually laid him low.
He came, as usual. one warm Saturday
afternoon. and after making his usual pur-
chase again commenced his internal and
never ceasing system. was in unusual
good spirits, aud cooly and patiently
awaited the moment to wind him up
Been glltin' new lot Of segars, eh?
suppose you call 'em Spanish bet a hat
they never came from Spain-never was
Spanish srgar in this town." said he.
"Well," said |, handing him sample.
''try this. Here. you see nv bHl-they
cost me just $50 per thousand"
Mr. Boiem sat down and enjoyed the
segar. evidently to his hearts Content
Alter he had finished, asked him for an
opinion. . .. ..-.-
Very good very good!" said he.
"Glad to hear it. because am about to
make you proposition"
"You are. Ell! we'll. what is it!"
"Why have taken Il notion TO 60 to
California. and | will IL, you have them
segars al the lowest cash price"
"liow muchP'
"Well just hold on moment, until |
explain. You see there are nineteen boxes.
and they cost me just SIS box. Now,
you shall have them in this way. give me
one cent for the first box two cents for the
next. and so continue doubling the amount
on to the last box. until you take The whole
nineteen boxes"
Ill take that Offer" said Borem.
springi"g to his feet, "let Inc call in
Witness"
"Cer'ainly"
A mutual acquaintance was called in,
and forfeit OF s5 was put in his ha.ls.
to bind the bargain, and We commenced
operations.
i"rhere." said I. throwing box on the
Counter, "is your first box" r..j ..arl
"And here" said he, laying down
green unhealthy looking copper, ''is your
cent"
VERY good; here's your second box"
"Ahd here's your tro cents"
"'rherr's your third box" !l.
Sand here's your fur cents"
"lIere's your fourth box"
"And here's your eight cents-ha! ha!
old fellow. Cheapest lot OF segars ever
heard OF. Go ahead, | hold you to your
bargain" ...,..
Let them laugh that win" Thought I.
"Now, then. here's your fifth box"
"Exacty. and here's the sixteen cents
Da"Well, here's your sixth box"
"And here's thIrty,iwo cents. lla! ha!
guess YOU don't begin to he as smart as
you thought you was. Didn't pick up
green horn. eh! Thought | hadn't tn"
money Go ah-aa-ladle out some more
of them ere cheap segars."
9 Still said nothing, but continued count
ing out the boxes + L5ll,-.. ,.
''lIere's your seventh box"
'"And here's you-tWice thirty-two are
sixty -iour cents. ,ti. 347 10
"Very good; here's your eighth box.'
"And here's your--let me see-dollar
and twenty.eigh cents"
"Now." said |. confident that his eyes
would soon begin to open, 'here's your
ninth boz" tNa a@u1eo 90 l.Ag
land here's your-your--two dollars
and fi'ty-six cents" ..,, of,i.,.,.,
Heres your tenth box"
Alter cypherng little, he drew out his
wallet and counted out IS l2, with the re-
mark. that them was slightly gettin' up
stairs"
"There's the eleventh box" -
+ sand here's-let me see, twice five is
,en--sen dollars and ,twenty-iour cents.