The southern press. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1851-03-08

mr. ~ AssbA~w Pssss
Relics of SCRAPS ana xruntnos.--No IL.
row TO Turn An HONEST PsmNr.
Be sure to undsrbid everybody in = contract for
congressional printing, and thus defeat ali honest
compositions. Then bring forward claim for
losses, and take care to secure . majority Of the
members by betraying your friends, and deserving
your principles. This has bsen tried and proved
infallible.
LAwYERsAnD DOCTORS.
Awyfts and Doctors resemble each other in
this:--One can lengthsn out suits; the other dis
eases at pleasure.
THE suAHuh soSUM.
The Yacuts Of Siberia have a saying that "to
eat and grow fat is the highest destiny Of man -
HARD CASE.
A fellow, who had been several times punished
for his offences, complained that fittings went on
at this rate, he world would soon become as bad
for rogues as honest men.
THE HON. JH.
He was as prone to deceive others as to be de-
ceived himself. He forgot that he could not look
into other peoples windows without being seen
by those outside. This is u very common case
hands Of other without exposing their own cards.
FICHTtN0.
l have known men--very pious men too--who
made point Of conscience Of nothing but fight
ing. They did not scruple to commit the offence,
but always when called on to make atonement,
had scrupes Of conscience against fighting. Ii
would be better to think Of this beforehand.
OLD PEOPLE.
Old folks should never complain 10 long as they
can relish their meals and sleep soundly at night.
One 10 proof good health; the other of quiet
conscience.
There is no such thing as absolute necessity in
directing the actions Of men. What is called
moral necessity, il nothing more than q high de-
gree Of expediency founded on ifcontestibls rea-
sons of preference. Physical nececessity is alone
absolute. When man is overpowered by su-
perior force, he must submit.
HUMAN FORESIGHT
The man who attempts to penetrate into futuri
ty, only looks through glass darkened; nor can
the most absolute despot control the consequences
of his own acts Hence the book Of wisdom says
SHE that observeth the winds, shall never SOW
and he that regardeth the Clouds shall never reap
Make hay. while the sun shines--but don I leave
too much out at time is a maxim worth more tc
the farmer than all Liebig's Agricultural Chem
istry.
Is it not strange that woman should take such
pride in what was at first the emblem of her shame
PHILosoPHERs
One set Of philosophers tell us that when mar
has once established character for integrity, his
fortune is made another, that fortune as we'll as
fame is the result Of mere chance. They are both
at least, half right, since each il justified by nu
merous examples. Cicero recommended Pompey
as consul, because he was faithful, bold and for.
turafe; and Cardinal Mazarin, whenever any man
proposed to him for Office, always asked I" Is he
lucky" Itis quite certain that some men are
uniformly unlucky, while others succeed in all
their undertakings, and convert even their blum.
ders into profit. Whether this is owing to the in.
dividuals themselves, or to circumstances beyond
their control, is more than l-know. The proba-
bility is, there is mixture Of both in the pie
THE NEW WORLD.
The statesmen Of Europe seem to think the
new world was created merely to enrich the old.
They will, however, ere long find themselves mis-
taken. The time will come when we shall get back
all they have squeezed out Of as with interest The
tide that SO long flowed IN one direction towards
the east, will soon set towards the west. Every
dog has his day, and SO with every quarter of the
globe. Who knows but the woody heads may
take their turn?
PREMATURE "DEvELopEMENr"
The free white children of the present age are
poor tormented beings, who enjoy none Of tn,
happy freedom Of childhood, but are overloaded
with fnery and stuffed with learning, which they
can neither digest or comprehend. Those Of thu
black slaves better off. They are not encum
bered with dress, and spend their childhood in
basling in the SIN in summer, and at the Preside
in winter, or in playing in the dirt. The greatest
slaves, with the exception OF English operatives,
are the children Of the wealthy, who are so over
laden with fashionable requirements, fashionable
accomplishments, and fashionable dress, that the
period of childhood is one of incessant TOLL instead
of happy thoughtlessness and careless harity.
Premature DEVELOPMENT is the harbinger of pre-
mature decay in mind as well as body. The
flower that blossoms earliest in the spring never
lives to see summer.