The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1851-10-04
EccENTRiciTII:s or MADMEN.

Mr. Ia lawyer in Vermont, doing n
took il into his head TO abandon the practice
Of law, aud engage in basket making. lie was
at first avery awkward hand at this employ
ment, but by dint or perseverance he soon
became very skilful, and would weave bas-
ket aa well as he had formerly wove an ar-
gument at the bar. lie followed this business
about six months, when taking a new notion
into HE head, he abandoned il for rhair-bot-
tom making.
The material used in this occupation was
bark, which he stripped from the trees in tho
summer, when it peels most easily. Having
come home one day covered from head To foot
with mud, he was asked whore he had been
that he had got 20 thoroughly bedaubed- He
Siiswrrcii that he had been in a noighboring
swamp after elm bark, Of which he exhibited
A.strip about forty feet long.
do you mark this p said he triumphanty.
Yes but how docs this account for your
being so muddy? 1t isn't usual To find mud
on the top of trees
No, but sometimes you may find il at the
bottom, though. I'll tell you how to find it.
/ cut the bark near the root of the tree. and
then stripped it upwards, expecting II would
come TO an end and break off. and run itself
out after while but il hung on like suit
in chhncery, and stripped until IL had run
up forty forty feet, and was strong as evor!
Thinks / To myself there's no use in pursu-
ing the thing any farther, and so III enter
nolle prose g,i. But MOI TO lose the benefit Of
what l had donc-that was the point 10 bc
Decided. / wished at least TO save cost, but
pshaw l forget I'm not a lawyer.
Well, as was saying, looked at the sub
iect, to see how could secure the bark. 1t
was too strong for me to break off, At any
rare, thought j, there's more ways than one
TO skin n cat, as the butcher would say. II
cannot break of this bark, can climb up by
it. l seized hold the strip, and placing my
feet against the trunk of the trce,ran up hand
over hand. BY this method of climbing, you
will perceive my back must have been down
wards, and nearly in horizontal position
my feet being braced agaipst the tree, and
my head standing from it in an angle of nine
" degrees. Having arrived Mt the proper
height, was then in a quandary how to get
my knife out Of my pocket, and how to get il
open when itNsas out, il let 60 with ono
hand was fearful that tho other would not
hold me. However, says /, It's neck or Ro,b--
ing II willt try the experiment at amy ratr--.
SO gripped powerfully with my lea hand
while took cut my knife with my right, and,
opcnineit with my teeth, whipped of tho
bark as clean as law would dock an entail
"And what do you think was the result ?"
"Why, you came fiat on your back, OF
course"
Right, gentlemen ofthe jury--a very cor
rect verdict, indeed. / came down fat in
the mud. Never was client flatter on his
back than land never was one so completely
betaubed with filth and mud, But to the
yielding nature ofthe soh, / saved my bOues
and only brought away the mischief on my
coat gained my case, though--which 10
more than can say of all nay undertaking."
The company laughed heartily at the ex-
lawyer. Hanging his coat up in the sun, he
said that the mud, like the old woman's grease
would rub Off when il got dry.
He confused a while longer TO follow his
occupation of chair bottoming when suddenly
becoming sape again he resumed the practice
of law, and has ever since preferred laying
his opponents on their backs in legal way,
10 being laid on bis own in so ludicrous y
manner ~ above relatesLs