Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1851-04-16
CHARACTERS CLASSIFIED.

!
Rare Birds.-A pious soldier, all econo-
micsl sailor, rich author. all impartial critic,
an inconsolable widow, happy old bache-
lor, uncensorious old maid, moderate re-
former, an under sanguinc pro- jector, peace
making lawyer, clergyman who practices
all he breaches, physician who does not
kill more patients than he cures, q smok er
who is no, on the brink Of leaving off, we'll
fed boarder, a cheerful tailor. q lean butcher,
a silent barber, and successful gold digger
Unpopular Personages-A ia, man in an
omnibus, tall man in crowd, and shorl
man on parade.
Ifmid Peop7e.-A lover about to pop the
question:. man who does not like to be shot
at, and steamboat company with cholera
case on board.
Smart folks-Tbe gent ,ha. drives the
fast horse. My youngest boy, and the fel
low that took the prize for the conundrum.
Stupid foks-The man who cannot see
any fun in your jokes. The editor who re-
spec,(ully declines your communication, and
the old folks that will not leave you alone
with your lady love.
Sorroacfuz folks.-The doctors in time Of
great sickness. The man who is not able
10 lend you any money, and the friend that
regrets that you canno. stay longer.
Craze People.-An undertaken Of a
funeral. A deacon on Sunday, and the man
who thinks the Yankee Blade too trifing.
Good Peop7e.-The man whose religious
opinions are the same as yours. The man
who has a horror Of novels. The lad who
never entered theatre, and the lad who
does no. know the meaning Of .rumps.
Kind folks-The man who makes you
presents you do no, want The friend who
gives you so much good advice. The lady
that insists you have not made out dinner
The old gentleman who is starving himself
to lay up money for you. The shopkeeper
who aba,es the price Of an article just be-
cause il is you, and the mother who lets the
dear children do as they please.
Happy fo1ks.-A child with rattle, a
small boy drumming on a tin pan. A school
boy on holiday. Two lovers walking
by moonlight. A gent imbibing sherry
cobler. boy sucking new cider through
straw, and two country misses over an
ice-cream.
Genteel Peop7e-The young lady who
lets her mother do the ironing for fear Of
spreading her hands. The miss who wears
thin shoes on rainy dav, and the young
gentleman who is ashamed TO be seen walk
ing with his father
Industrious People.-The young lady
who reads romances in bed. The friend
who is always engaged when you call, and
The correspondent who cannot find time To
answer your letters.
Un7ucky FeNows.-The chap who found
a quarter which was pisiareen. The man
that left his pocket book al home.
Prosecuted Peop7e.-Woman by ,ha, ty-
rant man. Boy, by their parents and teach
ers, and poor people by society al large.
Unhappy People-All old bachors, old
maids aud married people.
.amJuious Chap.-The writer who pay.
the Magazines for inserting his communi
cations. The polItIcian VIII" quits his party
because he csnno. get an office. The boy
who expects TO be President.
Modes, Men-The man that blows his
own trumpet. The editor of ''.he bes.
newspaper in the S,a,e," and the new con-
,rbu.or who expects cash for his first al
tempt.
Humble Persons.-The husband who
does his wife's ch"rning. The wife who
blacks her husbands boots, and the man
who says that he thinks you do him too
much honor.
Mean People.-The man who kicks
people when they are down. The subscri-
ber who neglects to paw for his paper, and
Daddy when he refused to let you have
money.
Sensible People.-You and ].
Yankee Blade.