Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1851-08-06

r course of prepondcrutiag pills.
What? he cried, suddenly dropping hi
leg.
i Preponderating pills.
I never heard of them.
Very likely.
! But, my dear sir, he exclaimed, boiling
upright.
Dear me, Mr.. Brown, I said, you arr
better.
No, ain't-oh! oh ali!
Well, 1 can remedy your disease.
You CAM
Yes, by the prepondcrating pills.
They will increase my density, I sup
pose, by contracting the-the absorbents
and so on.
Exactly.
Astonishing! My dear sir, you arc the
only medical man that ever understood
my case, and last year, when l was grad
ually vITRIFYING-
Gradually what !?
Turning into kind of porcelain-
Oh!
Well, I went to Abcrncthy, and what
do you think he did-the fool!
shook nay head.
What, he told me to squat down like a
Chinese, and try and have some odd colors
burnt into me, so that by the time 1 was
finished, should be respectable manda-
rim for an old China closet.
Indeed!
Yes and when I demonstrated he ac-
tually turned me out oh! oh +! ah!
flattered myself that had made a
great hit in Mr.. Augustus Browns case,
by my mention Of the preponderating
pills, and 1 was only astonished at the
amount of credulity upon the subject. 1
sent him some extremely mild pills, COM
posed of common harmless drug, and
waited the result with some degree Of pa
tience, and considerable degree Of expec-
tat;on.
In few days message came to me to
go 10 Mr.. Brown Immediately, for he
feared he was sinking fast.
Sinking fast, said I.
Yes sir.
Is he so weak?
Weak, sir?
Yes; you say he is sinking.
Oh, it is because he is TOO HEAVY!
Too what +?
Too heavy, sir.
Ridiculous
Master says, sir, as he's got so heavy
he's obliged to be on the ground floor.
Tell him I'll be with him Immediately.
The boy who had come from Browns
departed and 1 felt myself thoroughly posed
by this second extraordinary fancy of Mr..
Augustus Brown.
So much, thought I, for my extreme
cleverncss in inventing the preponderating
pills.
1 however, lost no time in going to my
eccentric patient. found him in the
kitchen, lying on his back, in the middle
ofthe floor, and groaning as usual.
Oh!-ah! he cried, when he saw me,
you are come. Oh oh ah!
Yes, said, with difficulty rcrressing
smile; I am sorry to hear you are not
quite we'll, Mr.. Brown.
Quite we'll Oh! oh all!
What is the matter now, sir?
Oh, doctor, those preponderating pills.
Oh /! oh =! ah
What of them, sir!
They are too powerful Much too
strong, sir-awfully strong.
Too strong?
Yes, doctor they have driven me to
the other extreme.
Indeed?
Yes. You know how dreadfully light 1
was you had, you recollect, to hold me
from shooting out Of the window.
Hem! said I.
Well, do you know, he continued, I'm
now altogether as dreadfully dense and
heavy? You see I'm forced to be on a
ground floor, or else should 60 through
the boards. Oh oh! ali!
You must leave off the pills, said 1.
All, that's all very well, doctor but
YOU see the mischief is done. Here's a
weight.
So saying, up went his leg, and down
again with heavy dab.
What do you think ofmy case now he
said. Here is dreadful situation to be
placed in. Heavier than lead-horrible,
horrible /! If I once begin, from my ex-
treme heaviness, to break through the
crust Of the earth, where shall stopg OH
oh ahl
It's rather serious case, said I !; but
there are remedies.
Romod;cai vou hrinp me new life.