The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1851-10-18

horrible doom seemed 10 be inevitable; and 50
strong at length became this impression, sobereit
Of hope appeared my situation that ultimately
recovered from it only to plunge in the depth OF
a calm, resoute despair. And not the fantest
ray Of hope could penetrate the darkness around
my soul resignation TO my fate followed.
/ began to think of death coolly, and to cacu,
late how long might survive before famine clos
ed the hour Of my existence. prayed that
might have fortitude to die without rcpining-
Calmly as then felt tried if could remember
how long man could exist without food. Thus
the tranquility Of my despair made me compara-
lively easy, if contrasted with the situation in
which | felt myself afterward, when hope began
to glimmer upon me. Nv days must in the end
be numbered--l must die at last-l was only
perishing n little sooner than | otherwise must
have done. Even from this thought | derived
no consolation snd ] now think life might have
closcd calmly upon ine. II. the pangs of hunger
had been at all bearable and have been told
they are much more SO than is commonly be
licved.
| Ifmy memory serves me correctly this calm
state of mind did not last long Reason soon be.
gan TO whisper to me that i'll had been buried,
and the earth closed around my coffin, | should
no, be able to respre which could now do with
ease. did not, % course, dream of the vault in
which was placed, but considered at first had
been buried in earth. The freedom of rcspira.
ton gave me the idea that after all was not
carried forth fer intermcnt. but that was about
to be borne TO the grave and that there should
be suff Gated inevitably. Such is the inconsist
ency Of the human mind, that l. who had just
now resigned myself to die by famine. imagined
this momcntary mode Of death hundred times
more formidable. The idea that was no, bur.
led increased my anxiety to be heard from with
out. called aloud, and struck the sides and lid
Of the coffin to no purpose, till was hoarse and
fatigued, but all IN vain. stilly silence reign
ed around me amid t.le unbroken darkness. |
was now stepped in fearful darkness. shieked
with horror. | plunged my nails in my thighs
and wounded them. The coffin was soaked inmy
blood and by tearing the wooden sides Of my
prison with the same maniacal feeling, acerated
my fingers and wore the nails to the quick and
soon became motionless from exhaustion When
| was myself once more, | called aloud my wifes
name. prayed, and fear blasphemed for
| knew not what said; and thus continued IN
til my strength again left me, and nature once
more sought replenishment in temporary insensi.
bility
At this time | had vision OF most undefna
BILE character, if it was one, md not lance as
|
Of death into the woYld of spirits 1t was all
Shadeless and formless Images Of men and wo.
men, often numberless, in a sort of shadowy out
| line, came before aud around me. They seemed
aa il limbless from decay. Their fea,urces,
heads moved upon open trunks hideously vital
| in fgure-ilke bodies which | have scen drawn
forth from burned dwellings, each being rather a
hideois mis- shapen mass than human resem
| blance. Thick darkness and silence succeeded
the darkness and silence of too horrible reality
| If, as suspected slept about this time from
weakness, it was but to awaken again to n more
fearful consciousness of nay dreadful situation.
Fresh hut vain efx--l- 40 .aaks nysslf heard
were row reiterated as far as nv strength would
allow. found with great difficulty could turn
on my side, ard then over on my belly. tried
! by lifting my back and by violent strain, TO
burst open the coffin lid, but the screws resisted
my utmost strength. | could not, beside, draw
up my knees sufficiently high to afford n tenth
part Of the purchase / should otherwise have
m de to bear upon it, | had no help but to re.
turn aguin to the position of the dead, and reuc.
family gain little ngonizing repose from my ex-
ertions. | was conscious how weak my efforts
had made me, yet renewed tham-W hist thus
at rest-if inactive torture could be denomnated
rest--I wept like child when thoufiht Of the
su"sI'i"e anu o'uc sh'es "''' tcs" "h Nnth
should never more enJoy-how liVlng oeng'
'hronged the streets, ana thousands round me
were Joyous or busy, whIe was doomed 70 PC
rIsh IN tortsres' why was my late differently
marked out from That oi others mad no mon,
s'rous crime to repent of,-hundreds OF criminal
men were IN the full reyelry OF lie. ianclcd
heard the toIi o' bell GREATNESS listened
1t was clock striking the hour. The sound was
new iiie 10 me. Il am not lnhumed nj least, but
! perhaps UNMATCHED. Such were my thoughts
ln'erinent VIII take place My CONN VIII be mo-
we'd ! shall make myself heard then. y us
was balm 10 me. / shouted anew, struck my
prison boards with all the power len me, ana
ceased only when exertlon was no longer posi-
ble
| Men may ianey how they conId hhd themselves
unaer si"nh"r circumstances ana on 'he IKE uy
ing occasions ou, II lsseIdom correct Ju1gmen'
can be previously formed on such matters II
was only at intervals that was sol iearidiy mad
dened oy my dreadful SITUATION as TO lose Tue
power OF rational reflection, or so overcome as e
be deoarred the faculty OF memory Stretched
IN position where my changes con's'eo only o'
turn on my sides on hard boards the sore
ness OF my limbs was excrucmtihEY PAINFUL
when drew my feet up few inches, my Knee
pressed the cover so that the s'ight shit oi posi-
'i"n orouSh, no reiet My lmpauence OF the re
suaint ~ Wh,eh l was %epI, began NJ iehgth IL
drive me well nigh unto madness, was lever
Cd MY temples burned and throobed,-my
tongue became dry, Ilght nlshel across my eyes
ana my ora'n whirled round am certain my
existence was preserved solely by the diminish
ed and subsequent fceblencss which i eXporlenc