The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1851-06-28
Newspaper Collecting.
SOMETHING RICH.

bIY DEAR SIR II have lust returned from a
tour through TN, state, and proceed to furnish
You with an account Of my labors aud their sue.
cess | have been gone three months. and as.pr,
yon in all sincerity, that am fullysa,I-fed Yuu
furnished me list Of one hundred and seventeen
owing subscribers, rs you will recytlcct. have
called upon one hundred and four Of them and
have the honor oi paying over 10 your order three
dollars aud twelve and one half cents, bciu. the
amount to which you are entitled lrc,urn YOU
the list numbers 10 1T, and Low give YOU n.
reply Of each.
No lis a minister He says. in the first
place, he never got one half Of the numbers. ia
lie according to the account Of the Post Ma-ter1
and III the next place your ioker'5 column was
too scurI'ous He can't thirl; of aiding to .u,-
tain paper that adyor'iscs horse races and gan.
der pulnEs. Besides. he knows from H., tone
ofyonr editorials that YOU drink. and paving YOU
would only be the means of your ending your
days in the kennel He wonders at vonr impu.
dcncc in sending lin lis bill after pu6lishin, the
great prize fight between Left Handed Smoke
and Baucrn- Bhl. He wants nothing To 10 with
you-neyer wants to hear from you again
No 2-ls IN jail for debt lie ha. not seen a
bali dollar fora year. Says lie would pay with
'Le utmost chcoriulucss if he only had the mon.
cy, but had to borrow shirt to put ON last sun
day. Admrcs your paper wonderfully, AMI
hopes You Will continue sending 1t To him. He
wishes you 10 take bold stand in fay.r Of the
abolition Of Imprisonment for debt, as hc think.
1t would be "a very popular move with gentlemen
iu h, situation II YOU send him any more IA.
p,rs lr hopes that Won will see that the postage
i-,H.es, as Otherwise he will be unable to enjoy
your lpcuhratious. Sends his best respects.
No @-l- young doctor Says Your paper
Is beneath the notice Of a gentleman Wouldn't
give a - for a cart load. Saws YOU inserted
an article rchrCius on the profession. Only
wishes bee could catch You herc--wuull make
you smell. lsgoing To persuade every body
that takes your paper 70 stop IT, Cuss'd your
bill. and SAYS you may collect It in the best way
you can.
No. lis an Old maid Says you are always
taking fling at single ladies' of an uncertain age
Wouldn't pay you it she was rolling in wealth.
and You hadn't cash enough to buy crust OF
bread.--Scnt all the papers ,he had back she
don't owe YOU anything says she Is even with
yon and intends to keep so TIL the day ur iudg.
mrut Asked me not to forget to tell YOU that
you are no gentleman, or You wouln't uudersk
to slandcr Il large and respectable class OF the
female population Of the country.
No, lis glmtIcr--a sporting gentleman
Say he got completely cleaned on, last week Mt
the races. Cogliu', 1cc0mmDditrhls grau.lmuth,
or with half dime il She WIS starving. Likes
your paper tolcrally--wuu'd Ike /: better II
YOU Published more races and would occasional.
.F give Gn account Of p cock fight Liked the
description Of the przn fight amuzuely--.t re.
deemed u multitude Of your faults. Hopes YOU
won't think hard OF him for not paving you now
but has got prospect Of soon having some
loose change, ~ be is after "a rich vouuy raarn.
holn who had arrived here last wcek-Wil pay
You cat OF the pluckiugs
No 6--ls an oil druukar,l. Hasn't got any.
tIlnc and never expects TO have Gathered up
all the papers that he had and sold them for half
pint Of run to the dorgery keeper to wrap gr, +.
ceres in. Wished Yea would send him \ pile.
as they cost him no postage, lis brother iu.aw
being post master, and permitting hm to take
out his papers for nothing. Winke u, me wien
presented your bill, and inquired If wasn't a
distant relation Of the man that tutted the bull
Oft the bridge.
No. lis u magistrate. Swore he never ow
ed you cent, and told me was low rascal for
trying to swinde him in such bare faced man.
ntr Advised me to make tracks in a little less
than no time, or he would get out a warrant q.
gninst me as q common cheat aud have me sent
To prison. Took his advice. L. by all odds, the
meanest man have seen yet Win never go
near HIM again.
No. sis politician. Says although you
profess to publish II neutral paper, it is not So
Thinks he sees considerable squirting towards
the side to which he is opposed Meant to have
told You to stop his paper n year ago but forgot
IT, Tells you to do so now, and thinks you are
getting of very cheaply in not losing any more
by him. Believes you to be rascal aud is too
to have anything to do with you, as il
might compromise him and njure his prospects.
No. 0--laid up like man, The only one
Likes your paper first rate, aud means to take It
and pay for 1t as long MS you publish it, or he
lives. Asked me to dinner, and treated me Ike
a king An oasis in the desert A man lit lor
heaven
No. l0--ls merchant Expects to break
shortly y--must save all hi. small change. Offer.
rd me n pair of brccchrs aud cotton handkcr.
chief ror the debt. Refused him with scorn. Had
4 long jaw, Threatened to break my head. pa
red him to do it, Threw ahatchct at me. dojg
I'd It and put out
Nos II To ll7--NIcan as rot Had no money
--wouldn't pay--didn't owe sworc Id sue.
Said might sue and be hanged. Cursed all the