New-York daily tribune., 1851-07-15
A Chapter on Marriage.
BY ISRAEL OLnHN.

Il contains. A. Tor those who are already
saged and badly so, to thom we recommend pa
tYence-- such need much OF the martyrs spirit
the only way is TO make the best Of 1t
| have heard great deal, az divers tunes,
about the ordainings and leading Of Providence
IN connection with this matter. II has been
suggested that Providence may wisely Ordaln
the unou--nO, will not say union-the con-
tTast OF opposite qualities IN marriage, that there
BY the greatest amount OF good may be DIS
tributed.
The learned shall instruct the ignorant, the
refined shall polish the rude, the liberal dispense
the gains OF the covetous, and q might also as
well add beauty reflect some of ITS attractive
ness upon the face of ugliness. This Is very
comfortable doctrine for one 70 preach who ieeis
himself badly mated. Men love TO throw their
sins upon the shoulders of Providence If they
can, or on circumstances, or even on the devil
himself IL is an easy way Of getting over
piece Of egregious folly. No, no, friend, Just
blame your own precipltancy or rihoughtlessness,
and let Providence go clear. As tor clrcum-
stances, very likely you nodded them to SUIT
your own views and crafty your own passions
I do not believe that Providence intended you 10
have any other than one OF the best OF wlyes-
"A prudent Tor good wife is from the Lord
You see Scripture is plainly against you II
your wife be not a good one, l. G., adapted 70
yosr nature and circumstances, you cannot re-
gard her as sent 10 you from God, except as a
punishment for your sins. Had you taken the
requisite pains, you might have found one Just
adapted to YOU. If there has been any leading OF
Providence in the case, very likely YOU took the
lead yourself This sort OF leading OF ProVi-
dence is rife In the world.
shall now address myself particularly to the
unmarried, and more especially TO the young
men / shall not say with Saint raul, seek
not wife | suppose you to be thinking about
the matter, perchance 10 be seeker Yet
would say, seek not unless thou seekest rightly.
I tell thee friend, it is the most important step
Of thy life, as thou mayest hereafter hnd. fause,
therefore, and consider little. Think what
thou shouldst love most, and what thou shouldst
love the longest. Believe me, you can love Just
as deeply, and far more safely,l your reason and
Indictment have considerable to say IN connec-
non with this business. go for love OF the deep
est, strongest and most lasting KIND, and am
sure that reason is no enemy OF this.
II YOU suffer Yourself 10 be blinded by mere
show and glitter, and are at the same time led 10y
some blind Cupid, YOU at least will be likely 10
fall into the ditch | have known those who
have regretted that IN the choice OF a wife, they
were led so much by passion and so little by
reason or were so thOughtess IN matter OF so
great importance. Many, very many, bestow lar
more pains IN the choice Of house, horse, or
even dress, than in the selection OF wife or
husband. The house must be carefully exam
med, the good points Of the horse looked alter,
and the dress turned over and over but COM
panion for life, the sharer OF our Joys and sor-
rows the manager of all our domestic concerns,
this is nothing-hit or miss-here goes say
be not hasty in this business. Look-thlnk, be-
fore you commit yourself A knot OF this kind is
easily tied but like the old Gordlan knot, II can.
not be united Death alone can cut IT, and
would not have you think him long IN coming
One of the great objects for which marriage
was instituted is as | conceive, the intellectual
and moral improvement of the parties. The OBJ
rect is a high, a permanent one. The union
ought TO be formed with a view to the whole NE
Of man his intellectual and moral HE; his lie
here and hereafter. How few look upon the
matter in this light, and enter upon II with such
views, Something transcendent.- Utoplan,-
can't be made TO enter into every days me =
Ha! say YOU so They are the only views
worthy Of the union of two Immortal beings.
They who marry with such views and feelings
will be married body and soul both. Inc hlgh.
est happiness can rest on no sure foundation out
that which is laid in the human soul. Beauty,
wealth. equipage, all that is outward may DE
swept away in moment, or, If continued, may
nst satisfy.
Intellectual and moral qualities are a more
sure possession Time serves but TO Improve
them, and the enjoyment OF them never cloyss'
Marry your wiie's soul, friend, marry her soul.
Let it's qualities attract you. Then, every acqui-
avery book she reads will aid IN her onward pro-
sress, and render her more capable OF minister
ING to your Improvement and happiness. DO
veu want a wife capable of assisting you to be-
come wiser and better, as well as TO patch your
clothes, darn your stockings, or cook your dln-
aerl Alas alas how many think woman
need tn know nothing else. Such might almost
rs well marry thread and needle, knitting
machine, or a cooking stove
What If you are mechanic, farmer, or
aay laborerl May not, ought not mechanics,
farmers ahi day-laborers TO grow wiser and bet.
trri Have YOU not a veritable soul, capable OF
Improvement And do you not want wife
with soul Dsrning stockings and cooking
dinners are important affairs, (the latter espe'
sially,) and may be peculiarly SO ITO you; know
not, however, why woman With "a soui,--a ieel-
ng thinking, cultivated soul,-may not do these
things There Is no good reason why YOU should
not take the most elevated views OF this subject,
and 70 about this business in sensible, rational
manner. Do you say, One can scarcely ma the
article you recommend Somewhat difficult !
allow But 1t is to be feared that little demand
exists Tor wives of this sort. Let the demand
become general, and the articles (speaking after
the manner OF men) will soon come to market.
Higher ground must be taken. higher views
must be inculcated. The true subject, the whole
subject OF marriage must be understood and fel',
and husbands and wives must be educated IN
view of il, ere they can become all to each other
what God designed.
have urged dehberaton upon the unmarried.
II is indispensable to a wise choice. Do you re-
member the old saying, Marry IN haste, and re-
pent at leisure" pray wait TIL you get few
years older. You need the ripest Judgment pos
sibe for this business. The eyes of sixteen do
10, see things in the same hight as do the eyes of
twenty three or four. Seven or eight years at
Ais period of your life will improve your vision
~-onoa.f,llx, osDacaallx I, lnnk we'll QhDnt
YOU Get old enough to understand your wants
tolerably we'll Study your own nature. What
are your predomina,ng tastes' Good ones, of
course. What will probably be your avocation
m life ! What qualities in wife will be likely
10 render YOU the mos, happy as years roll Oh
lie, the points be well looked to ere YOU make
your choice Perhaps can sum up all in one