The Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn. Territory) 1849-1855, 1851-11-13
A Story OF an Old Bachelor.

on Monday night, at ii O'Clock, having been sick
but five days.-CBoston Trav.
A Story OF an Old Bachelor.
There was fine old General once, who,
having spent most Of his life in the field of
Mars, knew very little about the camp Of
Cupid. He was one of thoss rough and
honest spirits often met with in his profss
sion, innocent as an infant, Of almost every
thing save high integrity and iudomitable
bravery. He was nearly fifty years old and
his tolls were over, when master Don Gu
pid brought him acquainted with widow
Wadman, in whose eyes he began to detect
something that made HIM uneasy. Here
was the result Of leisure.
During bis service he had never seen any
thing worthy Of notice in a woman's eye.
In fact, he would scarcely have observed
whether woman had three eyes in her
head or only one; for no matter where his
own eyes where, his thoughts were ever
among gums, and drums, and wounds and
love was a thing that lived in bis memory
Just as he remembered once reading Wis.,
ionary story book called the Arabian Nights
Entertainments when boy.
Well, the General had settled down into
all a,niabIe, gentleInanly old fellow, living
alone, with comfortable wealth around him,
and having little to DO snve now and then
to entertain an old comraie in arms, which
compalionship afforded opportunity for
, him to fight his battles DER again But
alas over this calm evening Of the old
Generals day, a deal Of perplexity was
doomed to fall, and he soon found himself
, in troubled waters, the depth Of which he
could Ivy no neans understand. He douD-
dered about like Gagged rat under pump,
hi. c.L q
water never before swallowed The halt, hook
f poor General. We must give him name,
$ or we can't tell the story, and the best name
a for such a story is Uncle Toby. Poor Gen
0 erai Uncle Toby debated abstrnctiy about
: his new position, and never had seige or
: campaign given him such perplexity before.
f 4, length, however, the blunt honesty OF
his disposition rose uppernost among has
y conflicting plans, and his course was chosen.
: At school he once studied sOtheilo's De-
IS fence to recie at an exhibition, but made
J, a great failure; aud he now recoIIected thai
t there was something in this 'defenc-' yer,
r much like what he wanted to say. He go
Il the book immediately, found the passage
;, Iclapped on his hat with It determined air
J. and posted off 10 the widow Wadman's
is with Shakespeare under his arm.
Madam said General Uncle Toby
n opening his book at the marked l,lace, witt
the solemnity Of a special plcader at th'
y bar-Madaul--
j" Rude an l in speech.
And little bless'd with the set phrase Of peace:
For since these arms Of mine had seven years pilh
" Till now some nine moons wasted they have use
Their dearest action in the tented field;
,s And little of this great world can speak.
IN More than pertains to feats Of broil and battle;
And therefore,
at Here the General closed the book, wipes
his forehead, looked up to the ceiling, an
n said with a spasnodic gasp, Il rsnr to ge
married.
The widow laughed for ten minutes b
the watch before she couh! utter u syllable
'n and then she said, with precious tears G
he humor rolling down her good nature
es checks, Aud who is it you want to marr,
IL General!'
ry you said Unclv Toby, fourishing b
O. swortl-arm in the air, and assuming mil
lat tary attitude of defiance, as If he expecte
an assault from The widow Immediately.
Will you kill me, if marry you" sal
the widow, with merry twinkle in her ey'
NO, madam replied Cuncle Toby, in
-. most serious and deprecating tone, as 1t
no assure her iha, such an idea never entere
to his head.
nty well, then, guess I'll marry YOU sa
the widow.
as sThank you, rna'am,' said Uncle lob
but one thing am hound to tell you
ef, madam; ,cear actg.'
The widow started, remained silent m
ment, and then went into a longer, loud
nth and merrier laugh than she had INDUCED,
:, before, at the end Of which she drew h
'eii seat nearer the General, gravely laid h
hand on his head, gently lifted his wig o
on o.' and placed It on the table.
"o uo General Uncle Toby had never know
10 ' fear in the hottest battle, but he now felt
nm, most decisive inclination to run away. III
oil widow laughed again, as though she wou
B. neve, stop, aud the General was about
bile liay his hat upon his denuded head and bo
ST. when the facetious lady placed her ha
upon his arm and detained him. She tn
ma deiiberatcly raised her other hand to
ERE own head with a sort of military precis'C
men executed q rapid manGnvre with her =
fingers, pulled off her whole head OF n
ana glossy hair, aud placing in upon the tai
ing by the side Of the Generals, remained Sc
- led with ludicrous gravity, IN front OF
, me accepted lover, quite bald!
,hc As may be expected, Uncle Toby M
laughed along with the widow, and IN
lted sOou grew 20 merry o.e' ""e ma. ""'
,up- maid servant peeped through the key hole
ay- the noise, and saw the old couple dancin
DDS, jig, and bobbing their bald pates at ea
du- other like pair Of Chinese Mandarins.
The the two shortly laid their heads tosetl
ep- upon the pillow Of natrimony. Hartf'
s or Courant
vice
RIM S,vcurs CAsr-Tbe Frederick sbu
+ News states, that woman named Betsey III
tor hung herself at the peor house, in that toy