Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1851-04-25
CHAPTER ii.

H.
HoW Uncle Sam pnrceled ont his Lands among has
Bhoys under Contradiction the Young Rogues
undertook to interpret the contract one araY and I'm
Gle Sam another-And hoar they fell into great
turmoil about the meaning Of tie 1rords necessary
and proper"
Uncle Sam has got way of his own in managin
his family affairs. He don't follow the fashion Of
your stingy old codgers that love money better than
their own flesh and blood, and keep it shut up in
their purses till death and breaks the strings
Tor them. He gives his sons each humping farm
as soon as they to years of discretion and some
times before but always on condition that thew
shall continue to look up him as head of the fami-
ly and not pretend to be their own masters in eve
rythlng. as young chaps are apt to do when their
fathers are fools enough to give away all thew have
and keep nothing for themselves He makes regu-
lar bona fde bargain with each of them, and gives
them warrantee deed, by which he covenants and
agrees to defend them from all respassers and they
ON their part promise to pay certain qutrent, to-
he settled from time to time. and to obey him in all
things, so far as they may deem it necessary and
Propcr"-according to contract
Now contracts are excellent contrivances when
both parties mean the thing, or when it is the
interest of both to stick to their bargain-or lastlv
when each may be compelled by law to fulfil it, But
on the whole, wouldn't give much for them unless
they come under one of those cases. The greatest
hypocrites and decevers are words which are set
Oh douDe-faced rascas, especially when they get in
to the hands of lawyers, who can make them mean
anything or nothing. Thus it happened with Uncle
sam and his bhoys. They could never agree about
the precise meaning of necessary and proper and
were continually at loggerheads on the subject
Uncle Sam swore that everything necessary pro-
per, and everything proper necessary and that he
bclng the strongest, the wsest, and most udcious,
mad right to decide what necessary and pro-
per, and what proper and necessary. The b'hoys,
ON the other hand insisted that what was proper was
not always necessary, what necessary always
proper and that, as these necessary aud proper
things generally consisted in demands on their purse
or their privileges they were the best Judges wheth
or they were proper and necessary "Whv. YOU
ungratefu varlets,' would Uncle Sam exclaim on
these occasions. Amt ! your lawfully begotten
father and you my lawfully begotten children-ex-
eept that last overgFown cub, there is some doubt
about { Didn't give you every foot of land you
own you rebellious rascals Answer me that
who's your daddy hey?
One day when Uncle Sam was fourishing away at
this rate, shaking his crabstick over the b.hoys
heads and tickling himself with the notion that he
had dumbfonnded them with his logic, the eldest of
them answered him rs follows and though what he
SAID was pretty much the truth. think he might as
we'll have been little respectful Uncle Sam
But they were all chips Of the old block and talked
like devils incarnate when their tongues got fairly
going.
Ne your lawfully begotten children ?" said the
young spark, that's good one. faith Instead of
your begetting u.s. | reckon we begot you old gen.
tieman. You owe your being entirely to us and.
"e ioI tLe iau you pretended to give u.s. 1t was all
ours before We gave it to you only to take care of
for US, and owe you no thanks for giving it back a.
gain according to the old agreement. Marry, come
up wonder who's daddy now q
Never mortal man so COMPOUNDED as Uncle
Sam at this salutation At first he stood staring with
his mouth wide open. being unable to speak word
Then he crushed his lips together with just such
noise as he made when shutting his tin :ebacco-box
in hurry-puffea out his cheeks ike bladders. and
renewed himself by explosion of hot breath that.
some say withered all the leaves within fiftv PAGES
IT him. After this came blast that ratified about
The bhoys ears like a hail storm
Why. you ungratcful msbegotten villains!--you
mps of dsunion, disaffeetion, and rebellion-you
pretend to be my daddies some of you who are not
inee high to grasshopper you pretend to give
ne land you pretend to judge what is necessary
md proper who can't tell the difference between a
heeps head and the head of sheep You pretend
o make scurvy oyerseer to take care of your
property! You But Flldust your jackets for you
iii light my pipe with your old musty contract
IL take away all your land-fh cut you off with a
killing and if there is law lawyers to be had for
oYc Or money, I'll make you hep like a pea a to-