The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1851-10-09
.st From the Albany Dutehman.
Crumbs for all Kinds of Chickens.

Philadelphia possesses an atmosphere
most beneficial 10 quacks; all sallipol
humbug wants 10 rear him palace and
make fortune, is to have large funda.
mental principle of brass, and wealth comes
10 him there, with the same facility that q
negro gets into new hoe down, or an Irish
man into the grocery business.
/ ---
Always observe "lhe uniiies,p and time
your conversation by the circumstances
which surround you. AT the conclusion Of
tragedy, the curtain always falls to slow
| apd mournful music. Imagine the effect
that would be produced shoald its descent
be accompanied with cold Dan Tucker" OF
an invitation 10 certain "yaller galsn to
come out tonight and so through series Of
certain tepschoriau movements aby the light
of the moon." We say, imagine This and
act accordingly.
"Mrs. Smithers, where's chic cup) my
shavel 'tensls 2n
"Your shaving utensils What do you
want Of your shaving utensils at this hour Of
the nights Come to bed, you brute, you're
drunk"
"You lie, my love, Pm not (hic.cup)
drunk, but want to know what come (hic-
! cup) Of them saven 'lensils what bought
yesterday morning.(hic-cup of that blue
eyed bonnet what wore the white silk young
'oman. Say, where's them shaven 'tensils !
Ifyou don't speak, (hic-cup) III take door,
my love, and burst the club in u
When we left, Smithers was talking about
the Constitution 10 the key hole of bed
! room door.
~ say, Bob, what yer doing fer living
now 2"
'qm in the scorbutic line--supporiirg my
self with a broken leg and pair Of biles."
swell, how dye make en- go!'
"Only iolerable. My friends think I'd do
better with a wooden arm, and Pm most
tempted to try i:-biles, you see. don't draw
as they used to do, while TIE war with Mev-
leo has gwen sore legs such run, that Pm
be blowed if man can pick up one meal a
day with the best one in town. 'Please,
sir, give US cent; Pm deaf, dumb and
blind"
A late traveller, iR speaking Of Egypt, says
Der products consist of wheat, flies, and sore
eyed children. So much for her crops In
remarkiug on her commence, he observes
that her imports are made up Of underdone
I Enslishmen in pursuit of the pyfamids--
while her exports consist of the 81 me Eng
lishmen "done brown" and fleeing from
beggars ane bed-bubs. Nice country that.
Ayoung gentleman who has just married
a little understood beauty, says she would
have been taller, but she is made of such
precious materials, tha, Nature could not af-
ford it. How full Of sugar the honeymoon
makes one, don't it' A year from now
he'll be swearing about the house, because
his Sd fool OF wife has been cleaning
the cook-stove with his best shoe.brush.
The more we like people, the less we see
OF them. The man who once saved us
from drowning, we have not seen in doz-
EN- years or more--while the wretch tha,
pushed us overheard, passes by the house
with as much semi-daily regularity as the
milkman. From some inexplicable reason
OF other, the man who Injuries you never
leaves townsville the good-naiured fellow
who goes your bail, is always Gin the coun.
try"
RUNS great elevator. Old Hicks says,
night afore last he couldn't pay his board
the thought made him desperate he drank
half pint of Il. G. (rot gut,) and in fifteen
minutes he felt as though he owned all The
real estate in town!
In Mississippi, man always makes his
will before accepting a nomination to run
for Congress, and trusts TO pait OF revolv.
ers, bowie knife and leather lungs 10 whip
his opponent in the race.
The following question is now being de.
bated before the Sand Lake Lyceum ::
(Which is the meanest man, the wretch
that steals blind mans dog, or the fellow
that goes about collecting militia fires y
We shall announce the decision in an extra.
The last advice from Timbucloo, was that
the pckaninnies were studying the bowie
knife practice, while the full grown Congos
were revelling upon roasted missionaries
and elephant oil. Brother Peccavi writes,
that owing TO the Reaction, and his feeble
health, guesses he'll come home!
A late writer says, nobody bears adversely
like woman. Remove her from the parlor
TO garet, and instead Of taking arsenic, as
a man would, she actually becomes more
cheerful. Like a lark, the nearer she ap-
proaches Heaven, the more she seems to
sing,
For some complaints, little good luck is
the best medicine in the world. Low spir.
its take their rise not SO often from burst
ing heart as from a collapsed pocket-book.
We once knew a map to be saved from SUI
eide by just raising his wages a shilling
day.
If running after The womenn be iniuri-
GUS to health, how comes il that physicians
last 80 Please answer bv rafurn of mail