davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

MIsHTY CUTE.-Two cotton wagons
meeting on the road to Augusta, Geor-
gia, the following dialogue took, place
between the drivers
What's cotton in Augusta?" says
the one with load.
Cotton says the other.
The inquirer, supposing himself not
to be understood, repeats, what's cot
ton in Augusta?'
It's cotton says the other.
Il know that says the first, but
what is it!' Mp
Why says the other, | tell you il
is cotton. Cotton Is cotton in Augusta
and everywhere else, that ever / heard
of
know that as well as you,' says the
first, but what does cotton bring in
Augusta
why, it brings nothing there, but
everybody brings cottOn.'
..sLook here says the first WAGNER.
with an oath, you had better leave the
state for l'll he Id if you don't
know too much for Georgia
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

OPENsKG or SERMoNs.-An exchange
relates the following DR.. Me-, Of
New Jersey, who has recently sailed
for Europe, was once invited TO preach
in the Old Middle Dutch Church, now
the post Office, in New York. Know
ing that his audience did not allow
their ministers to use notes, he wPnt
on smoothly through the intrOduction'
Of his sermon, said: SHOW, brethren,
| have laid before you my discourse,
and beg you will permit me to lay il
before myself" So saying, he tOoh
his manuscript and placed them in
front on the desk.
ssOId Dominic L---g, Of the Dutch
Church, celebrated for his g0odnesD
and hOmely originality, on an excess 4
lively hot summer Sabbath, when an
nouncing his text, read of four verses,
and said: 8 This the foundation Of the
first head Of my discourse. Afler
reading four more, he said: r'ThiS IS
the ground Of the second head of my
discourse; and reading another four,
he continued: g This is the foundation
Of the third head Of my discourse. ;"
Then stepping back and pulling off his
warm cloth coat, he hung it on the side
Of the pulpit, and conspicuous in his
white linen sleeves, he began. " Now,
brethren, depend upon it, we have .
Job before us.n
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18
A Cool OrrRAr,or.-. Hello. ther

A Cool OPERArIoN.-s Hello, there,
captingn said Brother Jonathan to
the captain Of canal packet on the
Erie canal, 'what do you charge for a
passage =
sThree cents mile and boarded, said
the captain.
We'll, guess I'll take passage, cap
ting, seein' as how Pm kinder gin eout
walking so far
Accordingly he got on board just as
the steward WAS ringing the bell for
dinner. Jonathan sat down and began
to denolish the fixins' to the utter con-
sternatiOn Of the captain, until he had
cleared the table of all that was eatable,
when he got up and went on the deck
picking his teeth very comfortably.
How far is it, capting, from here to
where ! came on board 2
Nearly one and a-half mile, said the
captain.
Let's see,' aoid Jonathan; shat
would be just four and a-half cents; but
never mind, capting, | won't he small /;
here's fiye cents, which pays my fare to
here guess III 60 ashore now Pm
kinder rested eout.'
i he captain vamosed for the cabin,
and Jonathan went ashore. The cap
tain did not take any more way pas
sengers' the remainder oE the summer
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18
NOW xWgET WAS I0lE!

- &4 4~aHs n
When sick upon my cradle bed,
WhCiaid Der .EaFm hand on my head
With heart. o'erfowing, Wept and prayed !
My Mother
When was we'll and full Of play,
Who caught me in his arms each day,
And talked and sung those hours away
My Father.
In after years, say, who was she
Who walked the livelong day with me,
Or read beneath the willow tree?
My Sister.
Who took my hand, and by my side
Ran down the winding, ripping tide,
Not knowing how his hours did glide
Ny Brother
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

NTH ! recurrence 81 the same evil
compelled them % the same measure" ("
Theirs .Mas probably an emeute, Al
least, If not . revolution among the
students, when the following, event oc-
Cured: f@
PRosA sIr RIsn IN PRoyisioN. .-sEx-
hibition, 1871, April G0th. This NOR
ming Topper was Tusticated, and Sulli-
van suspended to Greton for nine
months, for ningling teTtuF emetic with
our commens- on the morning Of April
l2th. at 2r
"May 81. Ely Wassuspended 70 AM
herst for. FIVE months; for assisting Sul-
livan and TroPier il niingling tartar
emetic with our commOns." d
Freshmen in the earlier, as in our
days, were, often svao lsSilh their seniors,
for their abuse amt oppression. We
remember a case in point. A high
spirited young man, who had lately en-
tered, in passing beneath the windows
Of sophomore, received the contents
Of a pail Of not over clean water. A
tutor was in sight az the time bur, re-
kuIOICSS VI bu0t3 bAC tACDnAt0u SG11CO q
brick which he threw with such preci-
sion that il broke the sash, and did
some considerable mischief in the room.
The sophomore complained Of the
other for breaking his windows. The
latter's defence was, that he did not
throw brick ut the formers windows,
but at the head Of . person who had
thrown filthy water upon him. He
was acquitted, and his adversary dis
missed. In tho following instance, the
gentleman must haxe received
Too MANI PIPEs ron DOLLAR
A freshman was once furnished with
dollar, and ordered By one of the up
per classes to procure for them pipes
and tobacco from the fnrthcst store on
Long Wharf, good mile distant. Be-
ing at that time compelled by college
laws to obey the unreasonable demand,
he proceeded according to order, and
returned with ninety-nine cents worth
Of pipes, Snd one penny-worth, of to-
bacco. 1t is needless to add that he
was not again sent on . similar er-
rand"
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

Free AND EASY. We recolIect an
excellent story, says the Detroit Adver-
tiser, admirably well told by Hon. J.
B -, now a member of the legislature
Of Michigan, as having occurred about
the time Of the Baltimore Wing Con-
yention in 1874, to which the narrator
was delegate. 1t became the privilege
Of many Of the delegates and others, to
pay their respects to Hon. Henry Clay,
whose plain republican ease and urban
ity charmed all who met him for the
first time. While our informant was
engaged in conversation with Mr.. Clay,
the door opened, and fine locking six
foot man entered, unannounced.
The stranger was fashionable, but
somewhat astonishingly dressed in a
green sporting coat, with buttons some
what smaller than = top of your hat"-
bright scarlet plaid vest, divided into
squares Of eight BY ten, with buff cor
duroy combinations. This astonishing
8 effigy'' was chung in chains" of ev-
cry style, and wore at his fob seal
about the size of q steelyard poise. On
his he'd was four foot !" Panama. un-
der which the entire g mission" Of j.
Q. Adams might have taken shelter
while from one outlandish pocket mod
estly protruded package bearing the
magic word " Highlander" balanced
upon the other side by "pistol'' from
the armory Of Falstaff. This surprising
person, after reaching the centre of the
room, paused and took leisurely sur
yey Of those present, and singing ou,
Mr.. Clay, (who could mistake him! j
walked up to him and pronounced the
single word Clay!
!" Yes, sir" was the reply of the
statesman.
:" Henry Clay?"
The same, SIR"
81 came from Alabama on purpose
to see you; but don't put yourself out
Un my account you are great man,
sir, aud when am ut home am some
punkins in fact, often tell our boys
that Clay and are bound to shine, o.
else what do we live for! your line and
mine are little different, but we are
both pretty near the head. In fact
Hank, what's the use Of being fellow
unless you can be II of a fellow
Henry, good morning." and the Alaba-
ina man took bis departure.
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

New ISLAND IN THE MEDIrERRANRAN.
The remarkable phenomenon Of is
lands rising in the sea, through the eff
feet Of volcanic eruptions, seems to have
been repeated Of late years. We learn
from our European journals that an
island in the Mediterranean which ap-
peared some time since, and then sank,
has given symptoms Of reappearance.
An island Of considerable size emerged
from the sea in 1881, between Sicily
and Pantellaria, duri lg an extraordi-'
nary volcanic eruption. 1t was visited
and explored, and even three natiors
contended for its possession. Englat d
and France both planted their bann.r
On il, while it lay in the maritime pow
er Of Naples; but after short time ,t
again vanished in the sea. Accordii
to the accounts, it has again shown L
self within few months and thou; h
still ten feet under water, the capita
Of the English ship Scourge has tab n
possession Of it the second time for the
British crown, by raising the British
flag its fu~tuating surface.
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

sVEGDANr' IN Co1ToH MILL.-
A raw, straw-hatted, sandy -whiskersd,
six-foOter, one Of the purely uninitiated,
came in recently from Greene with a
load Of wood for q factory company.
Not satisfied with contemplating the
poetry Of notion At a safe distance,
our hero must needs introduce himself
between the cards, to get nearer view.
This move brought his neither habili-
ments' into dangerous proximity to the
gearing Of the next card, and thereby
hangs a tale.
You, / say! She goes ,Pooty, don't
she, Bos = said jonathan, inquiringly.
She don't do anything else, respond
ed the stripper. But you must be We
" careful how yoaa move around among
this hardware. 'Fwas only last week,
sir, that = promising young man from
Oxfotd-a student at the academy here.
was drawn into that very card, sir, and
before any assistance could reach him,
he was run through, and manufactured
into No. l6, super extra cotton warp
yarn
81 s-s-vow! believe yuer joking!
suffered Jonathan.
Fact, sir continued the etripper
and his disconsolate mother came down
two days ago, and got five lunches Of
that same yarn, as melancholy relics
BY the poker, that can't be trnep
Fact, sir, fact! and each of his fell
low students purchased skein piece,
- -. 80 =, lnckne. op.l vuorn X, ro,narr,
brance Of departed worth !!
Is that tact now Was he really
carded, spun and set in lockets =
A sense Of personal danger here shot
across our hero's mind he began to
retreat precipitately without waiting
for an answer. But there was not much
room to spare betwixt himself and the
gearing Of the card behind. Another
step backwards completed the ceremo-
ny Of introduction. His unwhispera-
bles being of large scalibre,' the process
Of snarling them up into hard knot
was no ways slow. Our hero gave
tongue instanter.
'O-h! Murder! Let go-you
h-u-r-t! Blast your picter! Let 60!
Aint ye ashamed Get out! Let alone
on me--can't ye!-don
The card stripper threw off the belt,
but the tnomentutn Of the cyIinfeF kept
it revolving, and our hero, supposing it
in full operation, burst out anew.
'Oh, stop her, dol aint well, aud
| orter be at home. Father wants
the steers, and mothers going to bake
Stop the tarnal masheen, can't ye-do!
Aint you got no feelin' for feller in
distress! Oh, dear-l'll be cardcd and
spun, and made in lockets! Je-fu sa-
lem! How wish was to Greenep
The card was stopped at last, but
Jonathan's clothes were so tangled in
the gearing, that it was no slight task
to extricate him, and it was only by
cutting out the hole Of the invested
territory that be was finally released.
Our hero not caring to resume his
pursuit Of knowledge under difficult
ties,' pair Of overhauls were charita-
bly, loaned him, and he scatte red sud-
denly towards Mill Hill, giving a series
of short kicks with either leg, on his
way, as if TO assure himself that he had
brought away his full complement Of
limbs from the 'cussed machine.'
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

PRIvATE CHARACTER or 4 LocoMo-
TIyE.-PesPle who may see locomo-
tive ,tearingup and down the land at a
gait Of forty miles an hour-mak ing the
very earth groan beneath its giant tread
aud the heavens themselves reverberate
with its fearful clatter, soaring nature
with its unearthly din, and Tightening
all creation from its propriety, almost
people who only see it in its terrible
activity, have no idea what eminent So
cial virtues it is endowed with. This
is their public character. Their private
one is another affair. Now aud then
one of these huge monsters, in hose
iron bowels slumber more than thous-
and giant power, comes up and stands
under our window, and smokes away
ms gently as the most exemplary cook
ing BtUve, It's huge steasH pipes .ingfng
q strain as soft and as dulcet as the
most amiable tea-kettle, and its lungs
OF steel breathing as sweetIy as an in
fant in its slumbers. But the demon
of power is there. Let any one pinch
its ears, and no venerable spinster cat
will spit more fiercely-let him grippe
those iron hands, and the pipes which
were tuned to so soft a strain, send forth
q yell as if heaven and earth were
coming together, and those lungs which
first breathcd SO quietly, cough like a
volcano-and off it goes, darkening the
heavens with its dense volume ofsmoke.
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

The "GREAT FA1E."-Thr London
Daily News says, that among the ladies'
who visited the great exhibition. few
days ago, was one who was 50 stout
that none Of the many entrances in the
transept were wide enough to admit
her, and she consequently had to enter
through the door allotted 10 pianos and
other heavy goods at the West end of
the building
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

FACTS FoR THE CUaIoUs.- Female
Beauty.-The ladies Of Arabia stain
their fagess and sses-,utss, their eye
brows black and their lips blue. In
Persia, they paint black streak around
the eyes, and ornament the face with
various figures. The japanese women
gild their teeth, and those Of the Indies
paint them red. The pearl Of the teeth
must be dyed black TO be beautiful in
Guzurat. The HOttcutot women paint
The entire body in compartments Of red
and black. In Greenland the women
color their faces with blue and yellow,
and frequently tattoo their bodies by
saturating thread in sDOt, inserting it
beneath the skin and drawing It through.
Hin,lOo females when they wish to ap-
pear particularly lovely, smear them-
selves with mixture of saffron, tune
ric and grease. In nearly, all islands of
the Pacific and Indian oceans, the wo-
men, as well as the men, tattoo q great
variety of figures on the face, the lips,
tongue, and the whole body. In New
Holland they cut themselves with shells
and keeping the wounds open a long
time, form deep scars in the flesh, which
they deem highly ornamental. And
another singular addition is made to
their beautYsby taking off, in infancy,
the little finger Of the left hand, at the
second joint. In ancient Persia an aqui-
line nose was deemed worthy the crown
but the Sumatran mother carefully
flattens the nose Of her daughter. -
Among some Of the savage tribes of Or
egon, and also in SumatrA and Arracan,
continual pressure is applied to the
ecull in order to fatten it, and thus give
it new beauty. Themodern Persians
have a strong aversion to red hair the
Turks, on the contrary, are warm ad-
mirers of it. In China small round eyes
are liked, and the girls are continually
pluckiug their eyebrows that they may
be thin and long. But the great beauty
of the Chinese lady is in her feet, which
in childhood, are SO compressed by ban
,lages as to prevent any farther increase
in size. The four smaller toes are turn
ed under the foot, to the sole of which
they firmly adhere, and the poor girl not
only endures much pain, becomes a Grip
pie for life. Another mark Of beauty
consists in finger nails SO long that cas-
ings Of bamboo are necessary to pre-
serve them from injury. An African
beauty must have small eyes, thick lips,
large fat nose, and skin beautifully
black. In New Guinea the nose is per-
forated, and large piece Of wood or
bone is inserted. In the northwest
! coast of America, an incision more than
two inches in length is made in the low
er lip, and then filled with a wooden
plug. In Guiana, the lips are pierced
with thorns, the heads being inside the
mouth aud the points resting on the
chin. The Tunisian woman Of mode
rate pretensions to beauty, needs slave
under each arm to support her when
she walks, and a perfect belle carries
flesh enough to load down camel.
Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18
College Freaks.

From . Review in the Literary World
Of Bartlett's college Words and Gus
tOms."l
The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1851-11-20

neighborhood with the tobacco-to be sold
cheap" Rev. Joseph Hurlburt, of New London
says, 81 am the oldest of six brothers grown
up to manhood, neither of us ever having used
tobacco, or our father before u.s. We are all
consequently cold-water men to the death.
say consequently because never knew one in
temperate man, who was not addicted to the use
of tobacco in some form, generally to excess"
by an inquiry, lately instituted in the State
Prison, at Auburn, NY, it was found, that "of
seven hundred convicts in the prison, five hun
dred had committed the crimes for which they
were convicted while they were in a state Of
and four hundred and fifty of this
number attributed their iuebriety to the former
use of tobacco ~
These quotations might be extended o,an al
most unlimited degree, but we forbear. Young
man, pause and think, ere you proceed in that
course of enjoyment, O. which in nine cases out
of ten, Will lead you to the drunkards grave.
Cast aside the baneful suporifc, and remain an
to society.
The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1851-11-20

From forty to sixty, man who has
properly regulated himself may be consid-
cred as in the prime of life. His mature
strength of constitution renders him almost
impervious to the attacks of disease, and
experience has given his judgment the
soundness of almost infallibility. His mind
is resolute, firm, and equal all his func-
tions are in the highest order; he assumes
the mastery over business builds up a
competence on the foundation he has form
ed in earl y manhood, and passes through
period of life attended by many gratif-
cations. Having gone year or two past
sixty, he arrives at a critical period in the
road of existence the river Of death flows
before him., and he remains at standstill
But athwart this river is a viaduct called
I" The Turn of Life" which, if crossed in
safety, leads to the valley of 4" Old Age,"
round which the river winds, and then flows
beyond without boat or causeway to effect
its passage. The bridge is, however, con-
structed fragile materials, and it depends
upon how 1t is trodden whether it bend or
break. Gout, apoplexy, and other had
also arc in the vicinity, to way
lay the traveller, and thurst him from the
pass but let him grid up his loins, and
provide himself with a fitting staff, and he
may trudge on in safety with perfect COM
posurc. To quit metaphor, "The Tur
IF Life " is turn into prolonged walk,
'r into the grave. The system and
bowers, having reached their utmost ex-
,ansion, now begin either to close like !
The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1851-11-20

GoDEY's LADY's Book for December is before.
us, and splendid number it is too, containing
twenty-four illustrations, and thirty three ar
ticles, some of which cannot fail to meet the
taste of every reader. The two Match Plates
of the Dress-the maker and the wearer-are
artistic gems of the first order-couveying a.
moral lesson which can but have beneficial
effect on the thoughtful The present number
closes the forty-third volume. The Publisher
promises great improvements at the commence.
ment of the next volume-both in the embelish.
mcntS and in the literary dcpartment-though
we must confess we do not see how it can well.
be done. We advise our lady friends to sub
scribe. L. A. Cooley, Philadelphia, Publisher ;:
SO per annum.
The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1851-11-20

TEA BEST IN THE EvENIHG.-Tea as
the morning beverage, when breakfast
forms good substantial meal, upon which
the powers for the day of meeting the va
rious chances and changes of life depend,
provided it be not to strong, is much to be
recommended but when individuals eat
little, coffee certainly supports them in a
more decided manner anil, besides this,
tea, without certain quantity of solid
ailment, is much more likely to influence
the nervous system. Some persons, if
they drink tea in the morning and coffee
at night, suffer much in the animal spirits
and in power of enjoyment of the pleas
ures of society; but if they reverse the
system, and take coffee in the morning
and tea at night, they reap benefit from
the change; for the coffee, which to them
in the morning is nutritious, becomes a
stimulus at night and the tea, which acts
as dilutent, at night, gives nothing for
supper during the day DIR. Sigmond,
on Tea.
The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1851-11-20
Courtship VS.. Marriage.

Courtship is fine bowling-green
turf, all galloping round, and sweetheart
ing, sunshine holiday in summer time.
But when once through marrimony's turn
pike, the weather becomes wintry, and
some husbands are seized with cold aguish
fit, to which the faculty gives the name of
Indifference. Courtship is matrimony's
running fnotman, but seldom stays to see
the stocking thrown it is to often carried
away by the two grand preservatives of
matrimonial friendship, delicacy and graft
tude. There is also another distemper
very mortal to the honeymoon, tits what
the ladies sometimes are seized with, and
the college of physicians call it sullenness.
This distemper generally arises from some
ill-condticned speech, with which the lady
has been hurt; who then, leaning on her
elbow upon the breakfast table, her cheek
resting upon the palm of her hand, her
eyes fixed earnestly upon the fire, her feet
beating tat too time the husband in the
mean while biting his lips, pulling down
his rufles, stamping about the room and
looking at his lady like tyrant. At last
he abruptly demands of her." What is the
matter with you, madam :" The lady mild
ly replied" Nothing" What is it you
do. mean, madam 2" " Nothing" "What
would you have me do, madam :" Moth
ing" What is it that l have done to
you, madam -" -"O-h-nothing." And
this quarrel arose as they sat at breakfast:
the lady very innocently observed; a." She
believed the tea was made with Thames
water" The husband in mere contradic-
ton insisted upon it that the tea-kettle
was filled out of the New River [G. A
Stevens.
The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1851-11-20
Bayn Bob French who is somewhat of

p9" Bob French who is somewhat of a
wag in his way, has peculiar passion for
going it on the cheap scale. No matter
what the affair may be-a purchase, fine
or tax, Bob never forgets to suggest that
less sum would be more agreeable. Bob
was on duty in a militia training, such
as they have in certain places in the coun-
try, particularly in the state of Con-
nectcut, and the captain was going
through the usual inspection of guns.
" Look out Cap'n," said Bob, with a seri-
Gus look, as the officer was about to make
an inspection of his piece, look out how
you snap it, for if my recollection serves
me right, Pm not sure but that the devil
ish thing is loaded" "None of your nom
sense" sail the Captain Indignantly, as
he brought the piece to bear, at the same
time pulling vigorously at the trigger
when presto off went the gun and sent the
distinguished officer sprawling; instantly
regaining his feet, with the greatest rage
depicted on his countenance, he exclaim-
ed in thunder tones, " French, I fine you
four dollars" "Cap'n," said Bob, look
ing very much unconcerncd, "couldat
you take three eighty-seren and a Aalf?"
The Literary echo, and Pawcatuck advertiser. [volume] (Westerly, R.I.) 1851-1854, 1851-11-20

flowers at sunset, or break down at once.
One lnjudlcious stimulant, a single fatal
excitement may force it beyond its strength
whilst careful supply Of props, and the
withdrawal of all that tends to force a
plant, will sustain it in beauty and in vigor
until night has entirely set.-[The Sci
ence of Life, by Physician.