The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1851-03-21

Coop Hir.--The Cincinnati Times
opens richly in the joke-lelling line. The
following anecdotc of o skin flint is no,
badly done:
"a certain tiehi.fsled old codger of this
city happened in a, Fosters Philosophical
Instrument Mandatory. a few weeks
since, where he was shown tie Lords
Prayer engraved in space abon, the size
OF five cent piece, with which I've was
very much pleased. Returning rome, he
related the circumstance to his family. and
prodieaI Cd son coming INTO HE sitting.
room, The following ensued:
"Mv son, would you suppose Thai The
L"rd's Prayer could be engraved in space
no larger than the area of half. d,me?'
'WeII-yes, father. il a half dime is ~
large in every bodv's eye as II is in you,s,
| think there would be no difficulty in put
ting 1t on about tour times"
LACK OF "CoNyrpENcE. "A Yankee in
one of our New England towns. going into
the marke, TO buy mess Of sausnges, held
out link to Tiger, his dog. "Tige" rub.
bed his nose aguins, them, rs TO ~smcll
bit. and Instantly bristIed up and showed hin
den,.Is-upon which his-M..,ef dropped
them like hot potslo:
,"WhaI's the matter 2" deema riled the venr
der Of pork. "Doyou find any fault With
my sausngrs?"
"No," replied the Yankee "I've nothing
ogin the sassingers. Only, dog ~onv eat
dog, that's ALL"
CowHlDING ExTRAoRDIHARY.-An e1,
traordinary case OF COW hiding came off at
Banks Arcade yesterday morning. We
did not hear the names Of the distinguished
parties. We learned, however, thu, the
cowhided was gentleman high up in the
pictures and the cowhider Il lady of the
upper ten.-N. o. Delta, 1911 un.
lf girls would only spend az much
time with Encyclopedias as they do with
milliners. they would soon find their heads
as attractive as their hats. Queer that no
young lady will believe this.
That wretch deserved to be- bows,ruoo.
who being pressed 10 stay a little longer.
replied: Il will. Fifteen minutes will mske
no difference, my wife is now as mad rs sue
can be-
An Irishmsn called at q printing cfTite @,
the other day. with on advertisement, and,
| like prudent man, inquired whit would BE-
the cost. lie was informed that for the one
insertion The price would be seventy five
cents, and two subsequent Insertions " uud
be twenty five cents each. "AnG faith"
said he, IL will only have the two sub,e.
quent Insertions"
I'm not afraid Of barrel o. cider" said
topper 10 temperance man. 81 presume
not from your appearance. ! should think q
barrel OF cider would run at your spprolch,"
was the reply.
Lady BlrssIngton ssid. snd surely she
ought I" know. "lhose who are formed to
win general admiration, arc seldom :.lcu-
'a'od TO beA'ow indivi lu.l h.Ppi"..-."
GREAT ARREST Of GAMBLERS The police
OF Boston made decent upon numbe: Of
gambling houses in that CITY on Saturday
night. Eigh,y'eigh. gamblers were arrest.
ed. One man jumped out Of a second story
window. and was much hurt. Among those
caught and committed to Jail were several
merchants and prominent citizens.
The married ladies of Fairmount, N. J.,
have organized Themselves into an Indepen.
dent order Of Odd Ladies', in order to be
revengcd upon their Odd Fellow husbands.
I heir lodge is kept open half an hour longer
Of nights than the Odd Fellows.
MEANNEss A thief. n few days ago,
picked the pocket Of a Preacher in New
York, If hi, tic 'n.e 10 preach. The scamp
will probably avail himself Of it ~ preach
morals to the community. ....
The pavemenls are pretty slippery Alters
thaw and freeze. but not half as sippery
as five dollar bill in u printing Office.
Jewelry 10 becoming quite fashionable
again. One Of our coiempDraries says he
met young lady on New Years who had .
70 rm on each wrist, q four story house
around her neck, and Ut lenst six member
ships to the bible society attached to each
ear. ...
AN OBSERVING CHILD -"pn, Dr.
has been here, he IS a real good man. 10
kissed us oil round, and mother too.
LADY.-A female shaped something like
a woman, very small in the middle, and of
large dimensions elsewhere, 10 be found
anywhere except at home; and with = ma
turai atrscii"n, nowhere. 81
Why is tailor called The ninth part ofe
man! .5l
5eca use money makes the man, and iai.
lors never get more than . ninth part Of
what il due them.
Pink says tina, this is such . bad world,
the only consolation il affords him is The
reflection that il is got to be burnt.
Fools make fashions, and wise men don't
follow them.
A western editor, speaking Of q contsm.
porary's attack upon him, says-"lt 70.
minds Us Of a little BOY we once saw squirt.
ing dirty water from mud hole ., the sun."
Students Of logic. who wish 10 have On
experimental knowledge Of the horns Of .
dilemma, can acquire il at any time by taks
ing two or three horns Of brandy. -.
A vcnder Of patent medicines. advertising
IL 49, l. a