The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1851-10-30
A STORY or AN OLD BACHELOR.

|
having spent most Of his life in the field u
Mars, knew very little about the camp oi
Capi!. lie was one Of those homes, spir-
its often met with in bis gallant profession,
innocent as an infant of almost every thing
save high integrity and indnmitable brave
i ry. lie was nearly fifty years old, and his
tolls were over. when master Dan Cupid
brought him acquainted viii, widow
Wadmon in whose eyes he began TO detec,
something that made him uneasy. Here
vas the result OF leisure.
Daring bis service he had never seen
my thing worthy Of notice n a woman.
eye. In fact he would scarcely have OBJ
sergcd whether woman had three eyes IL
her head or only one; for no matter where
bis own eyes we're, bis thoughts wero ever
among 'guns and drums and wounds and
love was a thing that lived in his memory
Just as be remembered once reading Wis
ionary story book called the sArabian
Nights Entertainment when boy.
Well, the General had settled down into
an aniabie gen,lemanly old fellow, living
alone with comfortable wealth around him,
and having little to do, save now and then
10 entertan an old comrade in arms, which
cnmpanionship afforded opportunity IT him
TO fight his battles n'er again. Bat alas
Ip'cr this calm evening Of the generals day
4 deal Of perplexi,y was doomed TO. fall,
and he soon found himselfin troubled wa
tiers, tho depth Of which be could BY nc
means understand. lie fo1ndercd about
Ike Gagged rat under pump--and such
another melancholy fish out Of water never
before swallowed the bait hook and all of
tbe angling god Of love- The poor Gener
Ial. We must give him name or we can't
tell the story, and the best name for such
story is Uncle Toby. Poor General I'm
clc Toby debated abs.ractedly about his
new position, md never had siege or Cam
paien given him such perplexlty before.
a, length, however, the blum, honesty o.
bis disposition rose uppermost among his
conf citing plans, and his course was cho-
sen. Al schoo! he had once studied .Othei
lo's Defence 10 rec,e al nn exhibition, but
made great failure; aud he now recolect-
ed here was something in this defence We.
rs much like what be wanted to sav. He
gjt tho book immediatciy, found the pas
-nge: clapped N bis ha, with determined
air, and posted off 10 the widow Wadman's
silt. Shakespeare under his arm.
'Mldam,' sHid General Uncle Tob,
opening his book at the marked place, witt
the so'emniiy of u special pcader at the
bar--'M alam'-.
Grade am in M speech,
a nd Iiifia asssI NTH the set pb 0f
For since these arms of mine had seven years
/ pith,
| Till now some nine moons wasted, they have used
Their deares, action in The tented field;
Aud li'Ie Of this great wo,li can speak,
More than pe,tsins to iea $ of brol ana battle
And therefore"
Here the General closed the book; wip-
ed his forehead, looked up at the ceiling,
aud said with spasmodic gasp,I trant to
| get mdrrieaf
The widow laughed far ten minutes BY
he watch before she could utter s, liable,
nd then she said, with precious tears OF
humar rolling down good nstured cheeks,
.and who is it you want to marry, Gener-
! ali?
You said Uncle Teby, furnishing his
sword arm in the mir, and assuming mill
ary attitude Of defiance, as if he expected
| 10 assault from the widow.
'Will you kill me if | marry youo:' said
the widow with merry twinkle in her
eye.
No madam replied Uncle Toby, in
most serious and deprecaiing tone, as if 10
assure her that such an idea had never en-
tered his head.
well, then, | guess III marry YOU said
The widow.
.Thank You ma'am,' said Uncle Toby; /;
'bnt one thing | am hound to tell you OF
madam; rear a mign
| The widow started, remained silent q
moment, aud then went into longer, loud
er and merrier laugh Than she had INDUCED
il lcfore, a, the end Of which she drew
nearer the General gravely, laid her hand
N his head, gen,lv lifted his wig off and
| placed il on the table.
General Uncle Toby had never known
tear in hot battle, but he now felt a most
lecisive inclination TO run away. The
| widow lauohed again as though she would
| ncvcr stop, and the General was about TO
,ay his hat on his denuded head and bolt,
when tho facelious lady placed her hand
upon his arm and detained him. She then
deliberately raised her other hand to her
own head, with sort OF military precision,
executed a rapid man9uyre with her five
fingers. pulled of her whole head Of fine
glossy hair, and placing it upon the table
by the side Of the Generals. remaned seat
ed with lndicrous gravity in front Of her ac
cep,ed lover, quite bald!
As may be expected. Uncle Toby no"
laughed along with the widow, and the,
soon grew so merry over the affair that the
maid servant peeped through the kcyhole
| =, the noise and saw the old couple dancing
| iig and bobbing their bald pates at ench
n,her like a pair Of Chinese mandarins.
So the two very shortly laid their heads
together upon the pillow of ms,rmony.
Connecticut Courant.
| EXCESSIVE PoLtrENE,s. A good story is
told Of very polite sheriff who came near
being oudune by person ii was in the line