Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1851-10-23
A story Of an o.d ss,c..elor.

NV hNS :" AAC OlO NtfilCI dl OlISCy HO
having spent most Of his life in the field
of Mars, knew very little about the camp
cf Cupid He was one of those rough
and honest spirits often met with in his
gallant profession, innocent as an infant
of almost every thing save high integrity
and indomitable bravery. lie was near
ly fifty years old, and his tolls were over,
when master Dam Cupid brought him ac-
quainted with widow Wadman, in whose
eye he began to detect something that
made him uneasy. Here was the result
of leisure
During his service he had not seen any
thing worthy of notice in a woman's eye.
In fact, he could scarcely have observed
whether woman had three eyes in her
head or only one; for no matter where
his own eyes were, his thoughts were
ever among guns and drums ndwounds,"
and love was thing that lived in his
memory just as he remembered once rea-
ding visionary story book called the
"Arabian Nights Entertainments" when
a boy.
Well, the General had settled down in
to en- amiable, gentlemanly old fellow,
living alone with comfortable wealth "a
round him, and having little to do, save
now and then to entertain an old comrade
in arms which companionship afforded op-
portunity for him "to fight his battles
DER again" But alas! Ger this calm
evening of thesold Generals day deal
of perplexity was doomed to fall, and he
soon fonud himself in troubled waters,
the depth of which he could by no means
understand He foundered about like a
Gagged rat under a pump--and such
another melancholy fish out of water
never before swallowed the bait, hook
and all, of the angling god of love. The
poor General. We must give him name
or we can't tell the story, and the best
name for such a story is Uncle Toby
Poor General Uncle Toby debated abb
stractedly about his new position, and
never had seige or campaign given him
such perplexity before.
At length however, the blunt honesty
or his disposition, rose uppermost among
his conflicting plans, and his course was
chosen At school he had once studied
"Othello's defence" to recite at an exhi-
bition, but made great failure, and he
now recollected that there was something
in this defence" very much like what
he wanted to say. He got the book i'm
mediately, found the passage, clapped on
his hat with a determined air, and pos
ted off to the widow Wadman's, with
Shakespeare under his arm.
"Madame," said General Uncle Toby,
|, opening the book at the marked place
with the solemnity of a special at pleade1
the bar-"Madame-
"Rude am in my speech,
And little blessed with the set phrase ofspeech
For since these arms of mine had seven years
pith,
Till now some nine moons wasted, they have
! Their dearest action in the tented field;
And little of this great world can speak,
! More than pertains to feats ofbroll and battle
And therefor" "@
, Here the General closed the book, wipeC
his forehead, looked up at the ceiling, anc
5 said, with spasmodic gasp, ~ 7raaHt 4
get married"
The widow laughed for ten minutes, b.
; the watch before she could utter sylla
BILE; and then she said with precious tears
: of humor rolling down her geod natureC
cheeks, "And whois it you want to marry
S General"
/ "Kou," said Uncle Toby, fourishins
F, his sword arm in the air, and assuming
: military attitude of defiance, as if he ex
pected an assault from the widow imme
diately. :,
evil you kill me if l marry you?'
said the widow with a merry twinkle IL
: her eye.
"No madame" replied Uncle Toby, IL
a most serious and depreeating tone, a!
f if to assure her that such an idea hao
never entered his head.
c"Well, then, guess I'll marry you!'
said the widow.
! 'Thank you ma am, said Uncle Toby
J ''but one thing | am bound to tell you OF
, madam; I area a fetg!
The widow started, remained silent
( moment, and then went into longer, lou
- der, and merrlef iausil tlldu shC nav III
dulged in before, at the end Of which she
drew her seat near thetteneral, gravely
E laid her hand on his head, gently htteC
his wig off and placed it on th'
f table: a -.
Genaral Uncle Toby had never known
fear in battle, but he nov felt a most de
cisiye inclination to run away, The wid
+ ow laughed again, as though She neve1
5 would stop, and the General was about t
lay his hat upon his denuded head and bolt
when the facetious lady placed her han'
upon his arm and detained him. Sh
. then deliberately raised her other han'
to her own head, with a sort OF militar.
/ precision, executed rapid man@uvr
with her five fingers, pulled off her Who'll
head Of fine glossy hair, and placing