Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1851-03-07
Hard of IIearIng.

Young Jonathan once eourted the daughter of
An old man that lived down east who protested
to be deficient in hearing, but. forsooth, was more
captious than limited in hearing as the sequel will
show.
| Tt was a stormy night in the Ides of March, if I
mistake not when lightning, and loud peals of thun-
der answered thunder that Jonathan sat by the old
mans freside discussing with the old lady CHS in
tended mother-in-law.) on the expedency of asking
the old mans permission to marry " Sal" Jonathan
resolved to pop it'' to the old man the next day.
Night passed, and by the dawn of another day the
old man was found in his barn-lot, feeding his pigs
Jonathan arose from his bed early in the morning,
sped the old man feeding his pigs, and resolved to
ask for Sal
Scarce had minute elapsed after Jonathan made
the resolution ere he bid the old man good morn
ing" Now Jonathans heart beat; now he scratch
ed his head, and ever and anon gave birth to pen
sive yawn. Jonathan declared that he'd as lief take
thrty-nine stripes as to ask the old man: " but
said he aloud to himself, "however, here's 90 it. a
faint heart never fair girl" and addressed the
old man thus
81 say, old man, want to marry your daughter"
Old Man" You want to borrow my halter.
would loan it to you Jonathan, but my son has taken
it and gone to the mill.n
Jonathan-Putting his mouth close to the old
mans ear and speaking in deafening tone" I've
got five hundred pounds of money!''
Old thanksgiving back as if greatly alarmed,
and exclaiming in voice of surprise" You have
got nVe nunQroO POUNDS OF money, JOnabnan why,
it is more than all the neighborhood has use for.'
Jonathan-(Not yet the victim of despair, and
putting his mouth to the old mans ear bawled out)
=" Eve got gold"
Old Man" So have I, Jonathan, and it is the
worst cold ever had in my ife.' So saying, he
sneezed "wash upn
By this time the OLE, lady came up, and having OBJ
served Jonathan's unfortunate luck, she put her
mouth to the old mans ear, and screamed like a
wounded Yahoo
Daddy say Daddy-,you don't understand; he
wants to marry our daughter"
! Old Man. told him our calf halter was gone'
Old Lady" Why, daddy, you don't understand
he's got gold hes rich p
| Old Man" He's got cold and the itch eh
What's he doing here with the itch, eh % So say
with his walking cane-but happily for Jonathan he
lodged it. Nor did the rage of the old man stop at
this but with angry countenance he made after JON
athan, who took to his heels; nor did Jonathan's
luck stop here he had not got out of the barn yard
nor far from the old man, who run him close race
Jonathan stumped his toe and fell to the ground
and before the old man could take up" he stun
bled over Jonathan and fell sprawlng in mud hole
Jonathan sprung to his heels and with the speed of
a John Gilpin cleared himself. And poor Sal she
died nun. Meier had no husband.
Adventure with a Rattiesnake.
| It Gums on to rain one day while I war in the
woods Now KuTnel Crockett afeared Of
a wet skin but had some powder with me that
wanted to keep dry and so l looked round for a
place to squeeze into and soon got squint of small
opening in the rocks, whar could jst squeeze my
boldly in. So pushed in my rife, and then erept
in on my hands and knees I found the place run
in good ways under ground, and so | went and
wriggled in as fur as | could gin | hadn't been
thar long before heered something rattle, and when
1ookt up thar pair of specks of fire looking
right at me, knowed then, it war rattlesnake
and them varmint are skreemer. They are as
smooth and as dangerous as Yankee pedlar; and
if they bite it is smart chance of poison that goes
into your vitals. Now, jammed in between
the rocks and couldn't turn round and couldn't gil
hold of my rifle. I couldn't crawl back foremost be-
four he would be on me. So war obleegedto stand
up to my lick log. At last fixed upon my wep.
pons and begun to grin. had heered of some fell
lers that could grin the bark off tree and l was
no little one at it myself. So begun the real rip
snorting, rantankerous grin. grnned till my nose
bled, and it loosened two of my teeth and made my
shirt collar stand up stiff centre board but
it war no use for the varmint begun to closer
and closer, so seed thar war way to git kleer in
decent fashun and dared my head forward, and
cotch him with my teeth round his neck
| pressed my jaws together till they met. 1t took
him by surprise, for he thort he war going to have
his pesky fangs into me; and the way the varmn
sprung and thrashed, and twisted would have made
some folks let go but knowed if he got k1eer wal
a gone case so hung on upon his back with my
teeth While he war twisting, he struck me two
or three times on the head with his tall and it kind
ermost stunned me but the cretur war no notion O
dying rite off, and thort l must stay thar; but E
smart idee cum into my head and begun to back
out of the place. while dragged him arter me by
the teeth, but every Junk he give Almost hauled the
head off my shoulders, and had stiff neck for {
year arterward. But grinned and stuck till go
him into the open air, and then cotch him by The
middle and as | let 60 with my teeth | slung hin
as fur as could. When he lit on the ground
cotch up my rife and put charge of shot into hi
yaller hide that made him jump rod right t'othe
way. I stuffed his skin, and my wife wore it tt
church for tippet, good many years.