Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1850-1859, 1851-10-29
Uit an0 Gumor.
An EIectioneering Gem.

ersisns" with the most blunt frankness,
describing every particle of biarneylng
humbug. The following sketch Of 3 late
speech delivered BY him must have puz-
Eled his opponent to reply to:J
"Laaies and Gentessen: I rise-but
there's no use in telling you that; you
know / am up As well as do. l am
modest very-but I have never
lost picayune by it in my life. Beinga
scarce commodity among candidates,
thought would mention it, for fear if
didn't you never would hear it.
candidates are generally considered
as nuisnnces, but they are not; they are
the politest men in tho world, shake you
by the hand, ask you how's your family,
what's the prospect for crops, &c, and l
nm the politest man there is in the State.
Davy Crockett says the politest man lie
ever saw, when he asked man to drink
turned his back so that he might drink as
much as he pleased. I beat .ha: all hol-
low; I give man q chance to drink
twice if he wishes, for I not only turn
around, ba. shus niy eyes. I am not only
the politest man, but the best elec,ioneercr.
You ought to see me shaking hands with
ths variaticns-the pump-hardle ard pen
dulum, the ss-cut and wiggle waggle.
1 understand the science perfectly, and il
any Of the county candidates wish ill.,
structions they must call on me.
Fellow-citizens, 1 was born-if bad
Mt been, l wouldn't have been a candi-
date; but am going to tell you where ;
twas not in Mississippi, but twas on the
right side of the negro line; yet that's nc
compliment, as the negroes are mostly born
on the same side. started in the world
as poor as a church mouse, yet I came
honestly by my poverty, for l inherited 1t;
and if did start poor, no man can say
bu. 1 have held my own remarkably well. |
candidates generally tell yon, if you
think they arc qualified, &c. Now, l don't
ask your thoughts; l ask your rote'.
Why, there's nothing to think of, except
to watch and zoe that Swans name is not
On your ticket. If so, think to scratch it
Of, and put mine on. l am certain that | am
competent, for who had ought to know bet
ter than | do? Nobody. l will allow that
Swan is the best Auditor in the State
that is, till l am elected; then, perhaps
it's no. proler for me to say anything
more. Yet, as an honest man, am bound
to say that l believe it's a grievous sin to
hide anything from my fellow-citizens
therefore, say that it's my private opin-
ion, publicly expressed, that I'll make the
best Auditor ever in :he United states. a
"'Tis not for honor l wish to be Audi
tor, for in my own county was offered an Il
office that was all honor-Coroncr-which e
respectfully declined. The Auditors Of :,
fee is worth some $4,000 year, and l am I
in for it like thousand of brick. To |
show my ghodncss Of heart, I'll make this /
offer to my competitor. l am sure Of be-
ing elected, and he will lose something by |,
the canvass; therefore am willing to di- {
vide equally with Linn, and make these two
offers: III take the salary, and he may
have the honor or he may take the honor, il
III I'll f,Ga fba sa1ary 0
ain the way of honor., have received I
enough to satisfy me for life. l went out a
to Mexico, eat pork and beans, slep: in the
rain and mud, and swallowed everything a
except live Mexicsns. If ordered to "go," d
l went; "charge," charged; "break a
for the chapparal," you had better believe P
beat quarter Tag in Going my duty.
"My competitor, Swan, is bird OF i,
golden plumage, who has been swimming ,'
Tor the last four years in the Auditors p !,
pond, at SIS, 900 year. 1 am for rotation.
want to rotate him out, and to rotate
myself in. There's plenty of room for him c.
o swim outside Of that pond therefore =.
,op in your votes for me; I'll pop him ii
,ut, and pep myself in. tt
al am for division Of labor. Swan
avs he has to work all the time, with his
lose to the public grindstone. -Four years
must have ground it to pint Poor fel-
ow; the public ought not to insist on
laying that handle of his ground clean If: OF
have large, full-grown, and well-blown a. 4,
ose, red as beet, and tough as sole leather. la
rush to the post of duty. l offer it up 10
: sacrifice. clap it on the grindstone. =,
'd,ow citizens, grind away-grind till l en-
oliier enough, and that will be some time OF OF
rst, for I'd hang like grim death to a "
cad African. ed
"Time is most out. Well, I like to fer ny n
OF to tell you my name It's Daniel
u short, Dan-not handsome name, for Ii
,y parents we're poor people, who lived NJ
here the quality appropriated all the nice
ames; therefore, they bad to take what pa