The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1851-05-22
from South Carolina Paper.
NEWSPAPER COLLECTING.

NEWSPAPER COLLECTING.
Nix DEAR SIR:-I have just returned
from tour through this State, and proceed
10 furnish you with an account Of my la
bors and their success. have been gone
for three months, and assure you, in all sin.
cerity, that am satisfied. You furnished
me list Of one hundred and seventeen
owing subscribers, as you will recollect
have called upon one hundred and four
Of them, and have the honor Of paying over
to your order three dollars and twelve and
one-balf cents, being the amount to which
you are entitled. | return you the list
numbered ] to LII, and now give you the
reply of each.
No. lis minister. He says, in the
first place never got one half Of the mum
bers, "a lie according TO the account Of the
Postmaster,) and in the next place, your
ioker's column was too scurrilous. He
can't think Of aiding TO sustain paper that
advertises horse races and gander pullngs.
Besides be knows from the tone Of your
editorials that you drink, and paying you
would only be the means Of your ending
your days in the kennel lie wonders At
your impudence in sending him his bill af-
ter publishing the account of the great
prize fight between Left Handed Smoke
and Bat,cring Bill. He wants nothing to
do with you--neyer wants to hear from
you again.
No 2--Is in Jail for debt. lie has not
seen half dollar for year. Says he
would pay with the utmost cheerfulness, If
he only had the money, but had to borrow
shirt to put Oh last Sunday. Admires
your paper wonderfully, and hopes you
will continue sending it to him. He wish
es you to take bold stand in favor Of the
abolition Of Imprisonment for debt, as be
thinks it would be very popular move
with gentlemen in bis situation. If you
send him any more papers he hopes that
you will see that the postage is paid, as
otherwise he will be unable to enjoy your
lucubrations. Sends his best respects.
No. 3--Is young doctor. Says your
paper is beneath the notice of gentleman
Wouldn't give - for cart load. Says
you inserted an article rejecting on the
profession. Only wishes he could catch
you here--would make you smell -.
Is going to persuade every body that takes
your paper to stop it. Curs'd your bill,
and says you may collect il in tho best
way you can.
No. Ills an old Maid. Says you are
TRntaH Y0Hyf fS,s~
uncertain age. Wouldn't pay you if she
was rolling in wealth, and you hadn't cash
enough to buy crust Of bread. Sent all
the papers she had back month ago, and
says now that she sent them back, she
don't owe you any thing. Says che is
even with you, and intends to keep so un
til the day Of Judgment. Asked me not ia
forget to tell you that you are no gentle
man, or you wouldn't undertake to slander
a large and respectable class Of the female
population Of the country.
No. SIS gambler--a sporting gentle
man. Says he got completely clea ned ou.
last week at the races. Couldn't accom-
modate his grandmother with half dime
if she was starving. Likes your paper tol-
erably--would like it better if you publish
ed more races and would occasionally give
account Of a cock-6ght. Liked the des-
cription of the prize fight amazingly--it
redeemed multitude of your faults
Hopes you won't think hard Of him for no,
paying you now--but has got prospect Of
soon having some loose change, as be is
after rich young greenhorn who arrived
here last week. Will pay your bill out Of
the pluckings.
No. 6--ls an old drunkard. Hasn't got
any thing and never expects 10 have
Gathered up all the papers that he had and
sold them for halt pint Of rum to the dog
gerry keeper to wrap groceries in. Wished
you would send him pile, as they cost
him no postage, his brother-in-law being
post st-master, and permitting him to take Out
his letters for nothing. Winked at me
when presented your bill, and inquired if
wasn't distant relation Of the man that
butted the bull of the bridge.
No. lis magistrate. Swore be new
er owed you a cent, and told me ! was a
low rascal for trying to swindle him in
such bare faced manner. Advised me TO
make tracks in little less than no time,
or be would get out warrant against me
as common cheat, and have mo sent 70
prison. Took his advice. Is, by all odds.
the meanest man have seen yet. Wall
never 90 near him again.
No. Sis politician. Says, although
you profess to publish neutral paper, il is
not so. Thinks he has seen considerable
squirting towards the side, to which he is
opposed. Meant to have told you year
ago TO stop his paper, but forgot il. Tells
you to do so nov, and thinks you are get
ting of very cheaply in not losing any
more by him. Believe you to be rascal,
aud is too honorable to have anything to do
with you, as it might compromise him and
injure his prospects.
No. G--Paid up like man. The only
one. Likes your paper first rate, and
meansto take and pay for il a. long as you
publish il or he lives. Asked me to dinner
and treated me like king. An oasis 10
the desert! A man fit for heaven! VI
No. lois a merchant. Expects to
break shortly, must save all his small
change. Offered mo pair Of breeches and
n 4 II. 1.lA D4E,,