Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1851-05-03
OLD SERIES VOL. NJ. NO. ao
HOW TO BEHAVE AT FIRES.

ne moment your hear an alarm, scream
'INe pair OF panthers. Run any wav e1.
cept lhe right way-.for the f,lbest y,v
rounu Is The nearest way to the fire. If you
happen 10 run on top of a wood-pile an
much the better you can then get n good
view OF the neighborhood. IF a light break.
out on your view, 'broakn for it Immediate.
ly-but be sure you don't Jump into q low
window. Keep yelling all the time and if
you can't make night hideous enough vour.
self, kick all the dogs you come across, and
set them yelling too-'lwll help amazingly.
"A brace of cats dragged up stairs bv the
tail would be powerful auxilary.n If
you attempt this, however, you had better
Keep an eye claw-ward When you reach
lhe scene OF the fire, do all you can 10 con.
vert it into 4 scene of des,rnc,ion T.,r
down all the fences in the vicinity. If it
oe chimney on fire, throw salt down il, or
II yon can't do that, throw salt on 4 rat,s
laiI, and make him run up The affect will
be about the same. If both ba r,r,d =,
practicable, a few buckets.full of water. iu.
dlciously applied, will answer almost y,
well. Perhaps the best plan would be TO
Jerk of the pump handle and pound down
the chimney. Don't forget 10 yell all the
while, as it will have a prodigious effect in
frightening Off The fire. You might swear 4
little, too, if you can do it scientifically
1t you belong to the eagle" d--n the
Hope" and if TO the "Hope," d-n the
"hagle,' aud if to neither, don't be partial
and d.-n both The louder the better of
course and the more ladies in the vicinity
the greater necessity for "doing it brown.n
Should the roof begin to smoke, get TO
Work IN good earnest, and make any man
"smoke" that interrupts you. If it is sum-
mer, and there are frui; trees in the lot cut
them down 10 prevent the fire from roasting
the apples DON'T forget TO yeH! Should
Inc stable be threatened, carry out the cow.
chains Never mind the horse-he'n be
alive and kicking, and if his legs don't d
their duty, let him pay for the roast Ditto
as to the hogs-let them save their own ba.
con, or smoke for it. When the roof begins
TO burn, get crow bar aad pry away tho
stone step, or if the steps be of wood, pro-
cure all axe and chop them up. Next cut
away the wash boards in the basement s,o
ry, and if that don't stop the flames, let the
chair boards on the first floor share a similar
fate. Should the 'devouring element" still
pursue the "even tenor Of its way,n you had
better ascend 10 the second story. Pitch
ont pitchers and tumble out the tumblers.-
Yell all the time
If you find baby abed, fling it into the
second story window Of the house across
the way, but let the kitten carefully down
in work-basket. Then diaw out the bu-
reau drawers and empty their contents out
of the back window, telling some body be-
low to upset the slop barrel and the rain wa
ter hogshead at the same time. Of course
you will attend TO the mirror The further
II can be thrown, the more pieces will be
made. If any body objects, smash it over
his head. Do not, under any circumstance,
drop the tongs down from the second story
the fall might break its legs and render the
poor thing cripple for life ; set il straddle
of your shoulders, and carry it down careful
ly. Pile the bed clothes on the floor and
show the spectators that you can Cheat the
bugs" at knocking beds,ead apart and
chopping up the pieces
BY the time you will have attended to all
these things, the fire will certainly be ares
ted, or the building burnt down. In either
case your services will be no longer nee-
ded, and of course You need no further di-
reclions.