Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1851-02-19
SALLY MAGUS.
OR THE WOMEN WoT KNOWS HOW TO MAN.
AGE THE MEN.

OR THE WOMEN woT KNOWS HOW TO MAN.
AGE THE MEN.
"Well, here be y; wake snakes, the days.
breaking now Pse set my eyes on good
many strange things in my day, but this
gelln' married business beats everything
ever did see. Itgoes ahead of Sam Fling,
when he wanted to buy one of my cheeses
to make grndslun. When had hus-
band DEVILS whiskers If he only said
beans to me, made him jump round like
stump tail COW in hy time
But, there's Mrs. fletcher, she's three
parts naural born fool, and ,'olher part is
as soft as billed cabbage. A woman tina,
don't stand up for her rights is disgrace
TO my Sect How any man should ever
want to marry such molasses candy crit
ter as she is, is one Of the secrets of human
natter. And as to andsome-handsome
never stood in her shoes. For she looks
as if she'd break in two if she tried to lift
pot of potatoes. | suppose her fingers
were made to play the pianno.
"Now, it's my notion, when a woman
gives man her hand, it ought TO be big
enough to hold her heart at the same time
Such hand as mine is worth giving, for
can stop bunghole with my thumb, and
l've done il too.
81 went into Fletcher's this morning, and
true as I'm a virtuous woman, he was 'bu-
sing on her like dog for lending his re-
celpt book to Miss Brown, who's fond OF
reading. 'spose he didn't keer for the re-
ceipls that was written in the book but i,
was The receipts that wasn't there and ought
to be, that stuck in his crop. And Miss
Fletcher hung down her head, and looked
for all the world like duck in thunder
storm. jes, put my arms agin my sides,
and looked her man right in the eye till he
locked as white as corpse. It's always a
way everybody's got when fixes my eyes
Oh 'em. And the way my looks white
washed his brazen face, was better than
Stacked lime. There, says to Miss Fetch
er says ], your husband had out to had me
for wife. When my man was alive, he'd
no more think of saying nothing impereni
to me, than he'd take the black sow by the
tail when she's nursing her pigs, and you
must larn to stick up to your man jest like
new hair brush.
81 never found any debility in managing
these he critters: for | always ,eached 'em
what's goose for the sarce is sarce for the
gander. There's no two ways with me
I'm all of size, stub-twisted, and made ol
horse shoe nails. Pm chock full of grit and
a rough post for any one to rub their backs
agin ; any gal like me, wha, can take bag
of meal on her shoulder and tote j, to mill
ought TO be able to shake any man Of he,
heh. Some think ought 10 get married
and two or three has tried to spark i, with
me, bu. never listens to any OF their fat,e.
ry. Though there was Barney Bob come
| farerfyin' me like tub of new butter. Fol
I've notion Of being ,fammeIed up in THEN
hal'ers Of hymens. likes my liberty and
wants no halsers or brides put upon me.
''Sam Mooney was shin;n' up to me too
and then there was Jim Sweetbread, the
butcher but he didn'. find me half enough
for his market. 1t isn't everything ,ha
sticks its legs through broadclolh that's go
ing to carry off gal of my spirit. My
charms amt 10 be had fur the bare axing.
''Gellin' married is a serious thing, as
lelled my old man when was wallopin' hin
with leg of mutton, because he took my
shoe brush to clean his teeth with. Wher.
ever there is nose there is a mouth no, (a
off, and that proves that mater has given wo
men her r ghts as well as man.''