Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1851-04-24
auruaement. a
Dodging a Militia Fine.
RY THE YOUNG 'UN.


In days gone by, when Objectionable
militia laws were in force in Massachu-
sets, the customary draft was made in
country town, few miles from Boston;
and a notice to "appear, armed and
equipped according to law" was left at
the boarding house of wag, who pos
sessed very little marshal music in his
soul. Determined that he would neither
train nor pay a fine, and entertaining,
withal, a very Indifferent opinion of the
utility of the system, he took no notice of
the summons. Having been duly warned
however, as he anticipated, at the expira-
ton of few weeks the sergeant waited
upon him with a bill of nine shillings for
non attendance at the muster.
"You're fined, sir-nine shillings-
non appearance"
"What is its" asked the wag, pretend
ing to misunderstood the collector.
aFine for not training" bawled the
other. 80
Well, I shan't pay il" replied the wag.
"It will be three dollars next time |
call" said the collector.
But the wag couldn't hear word he
slid, and in the course Of another month
he received, a peremptory summons to
appear forthwith at court-martisl in the
district, instituted for the purpose of try
ing delinquents, and collecting such fines
as could be scared out of the nonperfor-
mers of duty. Having fixed upon a final
plan to dodge the issue, at the appointed
hourhe waited upon: the court "to show
cause, if any he had, why he shouldn't
willingly have toted q musket and KNAPP
sack about the town for twelve mortal
hours, and otherwise perform the legal
duties oil alive patriot. -
He was ushered into the courtroom
immediately-which was held in an old
country house-whereh he discovered some
three or four persons seated, attired in
feshy reginentals, and whose awful "yal
ler, epolettsD alone were sufficient to COM
mand the attention and respect Of the
profoundest beholder. Though somewhat
disconnected at this rather unexpected
sight of spurs and buttons he. put a bold
face on the matter, and responding to the
direction of the junior member Of the au-
gust court, he advanced to the table, and
the chief functionary commenced the ex.
animation.
"Your, name, sir !" szs-
The offender placed his hand to the
side of his head, without uttering a word
or moving a muscle in his face.
81" W hat is your names" repeated the
questioner in loud tone.
e A little louder" said the wag without
replying.
"Name," shouted the Judge.
"Franklin, Bristol county"
"What business do you follow2"
aBroad street." said the delinquent.
Your business" yelled the Judge.
Right-hand-side as you go up"
Glow long have you been there"
aAbout two miles and half"
tsHow old are youl" continued the
Judge becoming quite nervous.
seBoss carpenter"
/" What's the matter with your ears :"
CDR. Scarpie's oil sometimes, and some
times DR.. Cur'em's ointment"
HWhy don't you answer"
HNearly two years"
'He's deaf as an adder" remarked
tke.Judge, turning round to his snbordi-
nates earnestly
Al 1,,ll>n. o,,t -
aYou are not liable to perform militia
ry duty" said the secretary, with his
month to the wags ear.
g. know that" said the fellow coelly.
sHis hearing improves" ventured the
sergeant.
@WhatIdo you suppose we sit here
for p asked the Judge, in a loud voice, at
last
"a dollar and a half day" said the
prisoner. ~
sIaHe may go, Mr. Sergeant" replied
aelJudge. .
"You can co." said the under officer,
pointing to the door.
But our friend took no notice Of the
order.
..sa You usay CO." yelled the Judge Is Is
itpossible a man can be as. deaf as all
thatp'
aCan't Say" continued the delinquent,
pretending, not to understand, but l
should think"
"Go-eow screamed the Judge; 'you
have nothing to pay: f7pity the general
who has a regiment like you to com.
mand! Show him the door, majorp and
our hero found himself at liberty. -
He WIS never again summoned to train
during his residence in that Town