Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1851-10-01
YoR TAy sPEcrAToR.
TEMPERANCE ITEsE.

A real Patriarch in the Temperance causei
lately approacheda friend ofmine and yours,
Messrs. Editors, through mistaken idea
that our friend was real son, when the
following dialogue ensued. For the sake of
conveniency, and due regard to the deli
cacy of the thing, the Dramatic Persona"
will be designated as Tee-to and Anti
Scene large business apartment.
Enter Tee-to with significant sign, which
our friend of course not understanding, in
the confusion of the nome mt he touched the
TIP of his nose with the end of his forefnger.
Tee-to-Good morning Brother, Qor |
esteem every man Brother who is Som
i have just called to get from you the sta
tistcs of our institution here, learning that
you-
Anti-Stop, stop stranger--l don't COM
prehcnd YOU. Every Brother Son Ev-
cry Son Brother! Statistics Our insti-
tutions | am at foil Sir.
Tee-to-l learned Sir, you were at the
head of the Temperance cause in this re-
gion, and called TO give you the right hand
Of fcliership, and ascertain the prosperity
of the Division.
Anti have always endeavored, stran-
ger, to keep my heat ADORE water.
Tee-tc-(Not understanding)-This is
well enough-but tell me friend if your
members stick well here.
Anti am sorry to inform you stranger
that you have barked up the wrong tree this
this time-l am not q Son.
Tee-to-Then am very sorry to find
myself mistaken, but glad to find you are
are sorry yourself, and hope you Will at
once take tho pledge.
Anti-Stranger! there are four of us in
this establishment and three are Sons
that ought to satisfy you for the present.
Tee-to-As Nathan said unto David
'thou art the man"-we want you.
Anti-Stranger, ] have another PROPOSE
ton to make to you-three-fourths of the
evil has already departed from This estab-
lishment, and now | am willing to part with
one-half of the remaining one-fourth by
mixing my liquor in the proportion Of one
gallon of water to each gallon of the stuff,
and then one-elghth only of evil will re-
main.
Tee-to-I never heard the like in all my
travels.
Anti offer it as compromise as that
is the order of the day.
Tee-to-"Almost thou art persuaded"
Anti-You are good at scripture, stran-
ger, must give you some myself
Tee-to-Go ahead.
Anti-Then can prove from the good
Book that water has done more Injury to
the race of man than liquor.
Tee-to-Prove it if you can.
Anti-Then stranger wish 10 say to you
read my Bible and there find that water,
upon time, swept off the whole race ex-
cept one family. Do you give it up?
Tee-tc-I have read Temperance papers
s. anti-Temperance papers--heard Temper
ance orators and anti-Temperance orators
but never heard such an argument as this
1t is sacrilegious. The good Being made
water as great blessing for man-man
made liquor, the greatest curse.
Anti-That is not answering the argu-
ment, stranger.
Tee-to-You are hard case, friend
"Ephraim is joined to his idols, let him a.
lone"
Anti-Scripture against soripture-you
are good at scripture, stranger-but answer
mel say, water has done more injury
than liquor-and as long as the deluge is a
fact, so long will my position be good.
Tee-to-Good morning friend, we will
talk it over again.