Hannibal journal and western union. (Hannibal, Mo.) 1851-1852, 1851-10-02
HEADooF SALT RIVER.
Sept. 10th, 1851.
MISTER EDIrUR:
Deer SIR


I Deer SIR @
Thinkin you mought like TO
bear su,nthin Of the bee-gim councils and the
River OF human evenis-up here, / have borrow
! ed goose-qull and commenced sizin out le
crooked marks | larnGd at the ole log school
house. An | calkerlated too you moughtent be
unwillin to9have word with your ole friend
Fur altho never saw you. myself hearn my
mother say, many time, as how she nrsed
Yer, when all of you, body and soul, wouldcnt
moro an 1livoy the corner ola square in a big
Christmas quilt. -Howseyer you've hearn how
| was left britchesless orfan with my Aunt
Pegotty and my Uncle Madoc Jeremy. "Make
haywhile the sun shines, Tim" says my Uncle
Madoc, SEE he. And at it went, worbin &
a GROWN, notwithstandin dident grow much
faster than possum's paw stuck in aopunltin.
Now everybody knows my Uncle Madoc was
tearn Dmocrat from the head O. tide water
on Jemes River and wearin The ole Virginny
post mark insomuch that thar warnt coon in.
all the Salt River stampin ground, ,yhar he lives {,
but what knowd the crack of his rifle and thar
warnt peccc O. one ever saw, savin eend O
ones tail, he kepp put away in corner O. his
oak tizic-chist. An you know, Mister Editur,
my Uncle Madocs scent is keener an any rab-
bits. An so he smelt the dust lately whirlin
Up about the Mad o eie..trgais.o And SO, seq
he.s
Dick, my SON. seq he, "I'vc shuk my hicll-
DRY faithful, but my bones is a CROWN DID,
Take yer cousin Tm,' SEE he, 'and track up
the big meetin andtell EN- yer chip o the old
CdDn-K iller, 'bsez he. co
So cousin Dick and me took to boat and rowedi
fur deer life. But it warnt no use. We jest
had TO git out an tote The ole craft over the
sholes. Fur thar has bin so much boatin up
II Il.
PASSENGERS is jest dunk up all the water. So
SEE l. e
"Cousin Dick,' sczoI, ..sposin we ouss the
ole raft and take to the beasts"
agreed! " SEE he.
And so we crowded stick and spur and got
to headquarters by next mornin. We went
,whiZZin in and seen EN- all layin around in
squads Il caucusin. But purity soon the ccook
beat the big tin pan fur the big meetm. So SEE
81 reckon we'll jine en-, Cousin Dick" SEE
An so we marched up an squatted along with
the rest on9em, when all was still and the Pres
erdeDt was swung up into the fork ofca l6eus
tree and had cooked his eye fur TO listen, up
Jumps little man in blue SEE he, o.
SIN view of the disorder and imposin attitude,
Of the times, | nominate the ogenlleman from
Mishigin FUR the big loGgc on the Potomio."
"ASS.a i'm - hollered second Teller as saw
eye as a painter; "Agin i'm! Mr. Chcrman!
I'm agin i'm, sir, like sick shoc agin peck
o kuklde-burs. A whipt chicken won't fight,
sir u whipt chicken wont fight To be shore,
we want u man that balances well and stands a.
bout as much on one side as tother and 90 be
shore, he saw some saryIce and broke, some
sword-mettle and he'd be pccrt at iedgin Of fine
u iN-tt,
/ on I've TUX as much store to hinpas any on cm
what's picked flint. But L whipt chicken
wont fight, sir, whipt chicken wont fight
I'm agin him, sir, lille liye-oak maui ogn a
twenty pound wedge!"
Right ".sez Ito myself, fur SEE Uncle Ma
doc, SEE he, 'sNeycr bet on u banked boss,
Tim" SEE he, 'never bet on banked boss"
Next rz-a sober gentleman, as sorryllookin
as u cow artcr mess O. tobakker stalks. SEE
he,
Mr.. Cherman My flag is Jemes of Pensil-
vany. He represents the dignity Of the Apos-
tolic faith. He's a mertin fur what he's DONE
and CT the time aint arriv when the party ort
to be Il shuyelin out lis reward, it aint comm
He KEEP us out of blzzardin big fuss with the
Brilishers, when Jemes X. Poke said he irou!d
fight, 4nd then backed plum out and woodcnt
Them d0c.i0fnents, sir, shows the bottom. He
nht committed Hell run with any nag on the
track
Young Ilernoism sez}ny next nabcr, SEE
he .'Mr. Cherman: Heacau shake hands with
all corners o the compass-needlc, Bred and
born in the Empire comminwelth, he's bought
up Western stock and invested in Suthern in
trusts and plantations He'll suck enc all in.
Thars three triggers to his trap, sndhe can stan
off and work EN- all at owunst. Thars three
bullets liz his gun and he'll fetch down the pi-
geOns. He's young nag and they don't know
his tricks, and they haint gote him twistiiied up
with white and black pronunciamentoS. Young
Illinois like ice in a mint julep!"
Right, agln! =" says to myself-''Kill two
birds with one stone, eff you can, Tin" says
| he. 90
but, Mr.. Mauderatcr," SEE Simpson Hob
blcs, ("Cherman!" SEE all;) mister Chcrman,
lthen,n SEE he-"I AK yer pardon, sir, but
arnt much of a stumper cept in our Sociation, &
thar Kitty Hobbies SEE thar amt many that can
set louder talk than | kin But sir, these is
stirrintimes.--every manis got to 60 TO plow-
in. I'm fur the Hero Of San Jacntcr! Now
thar aint no use O. concealin sir, that thar has
been divisions in the great Dimocratic Party.--
An while we are all here to ourselves, Nre mite
/ say that thar has some collshuns, that mite as
well not o. been. Now some still sticks to
ole Bullion, sir, but it aint mouse. You mought
as we'll talk o maxim soup out o nothin but
bones and o. maxim good old whisky out o tur-
! nip-secd.o He got out on the eend O. the plank
himself, and we Jest let him drap overheard
To be shore, we accused him O. Sneakin off from
the ole Dimocratic tcachin and becomin turn
cote of freesier and o havin betrayed his par
| ty and sacrificed his principles and we accused
/ his follercrs the same, and to be shore we lath-
cred him and his lackeys some--but the times
puts to scout all Disunionism! We must grab
paws and clap hammers to the spikes or we arc