Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1851-09-10

From the Albany Dutchman.
SETTING A BORE BY SIMPLE PROCESS.
! BY U. J. JONES.
There is nothing in the wide world so
we'll calculated to throw chilling influence
over the finest flow Of animal spirits, as to
be victim by bore-a real Neddybray
cackle-like the fife of Olhelo-an earpierc-
ing bore. How then is il 10 be caught by
one when the skies are lowry, business is
dull, and you have a note 10 pay in bank ?
All don't mention it-a wet blanket amt a
circumstance.
When | was in the tobacco and segar bu-
siness, had jus. such customer. He came
down from the mountain once week, to
buy couple hundred half Spanish segars,
and he always made it the pretext to bore
me for couple of mortal long hours, pick :
ed out Of days of gloom and dependency.
tried innumerable experiments to ge. rid of
him, but all proved aborive.
it is hardly necessary for me to bore the
reader with repetition of my bore's con-
versa,ion. 1t was of the usual mixture of
hyperbole and braggadocia, mixed up with
| personal adventures, rare encounters, and
wise saws from his own will. According to
his account, nobody could make him believe
'ha. any segars were made that sold for $40
a thousand. "No, stree, Bob" 1t wouldn't
do to cram such stuff down his ihroal-he
wasn't green, if he was born among the foli-
age Of the Allegheny mountains. If ad-
vanced an idea, or made an assertion, he
would combat it ferociously. without ever
suffering me to explain. If told a plain
unvarnished tale-t was seldom, however,
that he suffered Mat-he met it with sneer-
ing incredulous look that told plainly that
efforts was mere labor lost.
In this manner suffered with him, until
(orbearance almost ceased to be a virtue !; al,
length, however,, hi, upon plan which
most effectually laid him low.
He came, as usual, one warm Saturday
afternoon, and after making his usual pur-
chase, again commenced his internal and
never ceasing system. | was in unusual
good spirits and coolly and patiently await
ed the momen! to wind him up.
Been gelin' new lot Of box segars,
eh ?-suppose you call 'em Spanish-bet
hat they never came from Spain-never was
Ia Spanish segar in this town. said he.
'Well,' said |, handing him a sample, 'try
this. Here you see my bill-lhey cos. me
just $40 per thousand.'
Mr.. Borem sat tswn AND enjoyed the
segar evidently 10 his hearts content. AZ
ter he had finished, asked him for an opin-
ion.
very good, very good indeed,' said he.
Glad 10 hear it, because ] am about to
make you proposition"
'As how p
'Why | have taken notion TO 60 to Cali
fornia, and will let you have them segars
at the lowest cash price,
'How much ?
'Well, just hold on moment, until ex-
plain. You see there are nineteen boxes
and they cos. me just S. box. Now, you
shall have them in this way, give me one
cent for The first, two cents for The next, and
so on continue doubling the amount on TO
the last box, until y ou take the VIII ole nine
teen boxes'
sl'll take that of1er,' said Borem, spring.
ing from his seat; 'lel me call in a Witness
'Ceriainly.'
A mutual acquaintance was called in, and
forfeit of SIS was put in his hands to bind
the bargain, and we commenced operations.
'There,' said !, throwing box on the
counter, lis your first box
'And here,' said he, laying down a green
unhealthy looking copper, lis your cent?
very good, here's your second box
'And here's your taoo cen,s.'
! TThere's your third box
Sand here's your four cents
'Here's your fourth box
'And here's your eight cents-ha ha -
old fellow. Cheapest lot of segars ever
heard Of Go ahead, hold you to your
bargain
Let them laugh that win, thought |.
Now then, here's your fifth box
Exactly, and here's the sixteen cents.'
well, here's your sixth box
sAnd here's thirly-two cents. Ha! ha
guess you don't begin TO be as smart as you
thought You was. Didn't pick up greer
horn, eh +? Thought hadn't the money
Go ahead-ladle out some more OF those
cheap segars.
Still said nothing, but continued count
ing out the boxes.
Here's your seventh box
'And here's your-twice thirty-,wo arc
sixtv-f four cents.'
very good, here's your eighth box
sAnd here's your-les me see-dolar and
twenty-eight cents
Now said ], confident that his eyes
would soon begin to open, 'here's your
ninth box
.Andhe your-your-two dollars and
ffty-six cents.'
Here's your tenth box
After cyphering u little, be drew out his
walle. and counted out So II, with the re-
mark tina, them was slightly getting up stairs
There's the eleventh box
! sAnd here's-let me see, twice five is tel
ten dollars and lwenty-four cents. Whi