The Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn. Territory) 1849-1855, 1851-06-19

Iof qualification to us to know, that we were
the first Americans who ever stool upon
the snowy peak Of the "Snoking Noun
tain," and planted our national color within
The tropics in cline Of eternal winter, over
a region OF perpetual fire; where il is greet
ed by the FIRST beams Of the sun Us he rises
from the Atlantic, and receives his last part
ing look as he sinks behind the waves of the
great Southern ocean.
S. B. BUCKNER.
The following, from Southern paper,
will suit the meridian and latitude OF Min
nesota, just as well. We commend it TO
the careful perusal Of all those patrons, who
wonder why the deuce we don't tick out the
Pioneer, to every fellow who wants it =:
Newspaper Collecting.
My DEAR SIR 81 have just returned
from tour thi ough this State, and proceed
to furnish you with an account Of my la
bors and their success. | have been gone
for three months, and assure you, in all sin-
cerity, that am fully satisfied. You fur
nished me with list of one hundred and
seventeen owing subscribers, us you will
recollect. have called upon one hundred
and four Of them, and have the honor Of
paying over to your order three dollars aud
Twelve and One-half cents, being the amount
TO which yon are entitled. return YOU the
list numbered I to III, aud now give you
the reply of each:
| No. lis ii minister. He says, in the
first place, he never got one-half of the mum
bers; Ca lie according To The account of the
| Pnstmasier,) aud in the next place, your
lJOker's column was too scurriouS. He
can't think of aiding 10 sustain 4 paper that
advertises horse races and gan,ler pul,ings.
Besides he knows from the tone of your ed
itorials that you Grink, and paving YOU
would only he the means of your ending
your days in the kennel. He won,lers at
your impudence in sending him his bill af-
ter publishing the account Of the great prize
| FIGHT between Left Handed Smoke and Bat
tering Bill. He wants nothing 10 do with
you-never wants to hear from you again.
No. 2-Is in Jail for debt. He has not
seen half dollar for year. Says he would
pay with the utmost cheerfulness, if he OH
Iy hal the money, but had to borrow shirt
To put on last Sunday. Adnires your pa
per wonderfully, and hopes you will con-
tinue sending it to him. He wishes you to
take bold stand in favor Of The abolition Of
imprisonment for debt, rs he thinks it would
be very popular move with gentlemen in
papers he hopes that you will see that the
postage is paid, as otherwise he will he un-
able to enjoy your lucubrations. Sends his
best respects.
No. SIS young doctor. Says your
paper is beneath the notice of gentleman.
Wouldn't give for a cart load
Says you inserted all article rejecting on
the profession. Only wishes he could catch
you here-woulh make you smell -. Is
going 10 persuade every body that takes
your paper to stopit. Cuss'd your bill, and
says you may collect il in the best way you
can.
No. As an old maid. Says You are
always taking a fling at single ladies Of an
uncertain age. Wouldn't pay if she was
rolling in wealth, and you hadn't cash G.
nough TO buy crust of bread. Sent all
the papers she had back month ago, and
says now that she sent them back, she don't
owe you any thing. Says she is even with
you, and intends to keep SO until the day Of
Judgment. Asked mo not to forget to tell
you that you are no gentleman. or you
wouldn't undertake to slander a large and
respectable class Of the female population
of the country.
No. 5-ls gamhler-a sporting gentle
man. Says he got completely cleaned out
last week at the races. Coul,Int accommo-
date his grandmother with dime if she
was starving. Likes your paper tolerabiy,
would like it better If you published more
races and would occasionally give an ac-
count Of cock-fghf. Liked the descrip-
ton of the prize fight a'nazingly--it redeem
ed a multitude Of your faults. Hopes YOU
har tr,fh e.,
now; hut has got prospect Of soon having
some loose change, rs he is after rich
young greenhorn who arrived here last
week. viii pay your bill out of the pluck
Ings.
No. 6-Is an old .lrunkard. Hasn't got
any thing, and never expects to have
Gathered up all the papers that he bad and
sold them for half pint Of rum to the dog
gery-keeper to wrap groceries in. Wished
you would send him pile, as they cost him
no postage, his brOtIler-in-iaw being post
master, and permitting him to take out his
letters and papers for nothing. Winked at
me when presented your bill, and inquir-
ed if ! wasn't distant relation Of the IMAM
that butted the bull off the bridge.
No. us a magistrate. Swore he nnver
owed you q cent, a,nI told me | was a low
rascal for trying to swindle him IN such a
bare-faced manner. Advised me to make
tracks in a little less than no time, or he
would get out warrant against me as a
common cheat, and have me sent TO prison.
Took his advice. l., by all Odds. the mean
est man have yet seen. Will never go
near him again.
No. SIS a politician. Says, although
you profess to publish u neutral paper, it is
not SO. Thinks he has seen a considerable
squirting towards the si,le to which he is
opposed. Meant to have told you q year
ago to stop bis paper, hut forgot it. Tells
you to do SO now, and thinks you are get
ting off very cheapIy in not losing any more
by him. Believes you to he rascal, and
is too honorable to have any thing to do
with you, MS il might compromise him aud
injure your prospects.
No. 9-Paid up like man. The only
one. Likes your paper first rate, an.l means
to take il and pay for il as long as you pub
lish il, or he lives. Asked me ,o dinner and
treated me like king. An oasis in the
desert A man fit for heaven
No. l0-isa merchant. Expects to break
shortly, must save all his small change