Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1851-05-15

keep pushing up until he awakes."
"'Tfhat will do" said he, come on"
This W was large, fat, fun-loving
creature, weighing about $50 pounds
We passed on to VS. room, and had
no difficulty in arranging the bowel arouud
his neck. l. went down to the bar
room and under the bed. I hunched
and he snored-I still hunched, but he
still snorcd on with snort. At length he
snoared milder and mildcr, under the fire.
quent hunchings, and at last all was quiet
for moment. He landed out Of bed
with force that shook the building from
top to bottom. To say he run down
stairs would be wrong, for he rolled, he
tumbled down. was close after him.
He rushed into the bar-room, yelping,
help! help for Gods sake helpp'
As he entered, l. asked what was
the matter?
GIVE got the longest snake around my
neck you ever saw, and I've got him by
the head" said he, holding the knot of the
bowel tightly grasped in his hand. | told
him to let 60 and he would run away
"Tll be sneezed if | ever let go this holt,
he will bite then to a certainty"
After enjoying ourselves with him for
some time, the bar-keeper, at W-'s
suggestion, took knife, went behind
W, and passing the knife between
his neck and the supposed snake, cut t
asunder. No one can imagine VS.
surprise, when he saw what was in his
hand. At last he broke into hearty
laugh, saying, Well, boys, never was
so scared in my life"
We all then enjoyed it, and the story
supplied the villagers with food for laugh
ter for some time.-Nashville Gazette.
CoSsoLAToRY.-Several gentlemen pas.
sing by a plantation, few days since,
where there was a negro man engaged
in some menial labor, one Of the party
exclaimed, "Well Peter, don't you wish
you were white you could preach or
practice law, and be gentleman" The
oman of COLOR" facetiously began song,
commencing with these not very metrical
lines:
" Rear back Davy-stand back Dan,
I'd rather be niger than poor white man."
The "white" disappeared amidst the
dust.
An UGLY MAS.-During the session
of the Circuit Court in Lexington, Ken
lucky, a most fearfully ugly man was
seen daily. He was always on hand, and
perfectly hideous. One of the lawyers
could bear it no longer, and ssid to him :
"Well you are the ugliest white man
I ever saw
The poor pumpkin burst into hearty
laugh, and said
"Well, | can't help it, can II"
"No," answered the son Of Black
stone" no, you can't help it; but, con-
found you, you could stay at home. -
Spirit Of the Times.
FLIGHT OF FAScy.-We were good
deal interested recently by speech ad-
dressed by lawyer to the jury. He
remarked:
"I do not ask you, gentlemen of the
Jury, to 60 back with me through the
long vista of by.gone centuries, and re-
examincIthe explorations and resources. |
do not ask you to go with the astronomer
into the starry armament, to the newly
discovered planet Neptune! No! gentle.
men of the jury, 1 only ask you to start
with me from the county Jail, and travel
two miles and half from Pittsburgh
We don't know whether the Jury went
or not
D1pNr MEAN THAT EvENING.-A
crackbrained man, who was sighted by
the females, very modestly asked a young
lady elf she would let him spend the
evening with her."
"No," she angrily replied that's what
I won't"
"Why," replied he "you needn't be
so fussy; didn't mean this evening, but
some stormy one when | can't go any
uhere clSc."
A NEWSPAPER reporter in New Orleans
had his pocket picked by some expert
thief, who extracted therefrom purse with
two cents in it, steel pen, halfa pencil, a
tailor's bill, a rent bill, an omnibus ticket,
and dickey. He requests the robber
to sell the valuables, pay the bills, and
keep the balance himself:
A poMpous clergyman once said to a
chubby faced lad who was passing him
without raising his hat: "Do you know
who l am, sir, that you pass me in this
unmannerly way9 You are better fed than
taught, think" "Wal, may it be SO,
mistur," said the boy, for you teaches
me, and l feed myself"
HOMESTEAD Exemption" exclaimed
Mrs. Partington, throwing down the
paper I" it's come to apretty pass, indeed,
that men are going to exempt themselves
from home just when they please without
,p,, nrovico for cold ni1hts