American telegraph. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1851-1851, 1851-03-27
BEAUTIES OF THE LAW.

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is himself lawyer:
nrhe most litigious fellow l ever knew was
Welshman named Bones. He had got pos
session, by some means, of bit Of waste
ground behind publio-house in Hogwash-
street. Adjoining this land was yard, be-
longing to the parish of st. jeremiah, which
the parish Trustees were fencing in with wall.
Bones alleged that one corner Of their wall was
advanced about ten inches ON his ground, and
as they declined to remove it back, he kicked
down the brickwork before the mortar was dry.
The Trustees having satisfied themselves that
they were not only within their own boundary,
but that they had left Bones some feet Of the
parish land to boot, built up the wall again.
Bones kicked it down again.
" The Trustees put it up third time, under
the protection of policeman. The inexorable
Bones, in spite of the awful presence Of this
functionary, not only kicked down the wall
again, but kicked the bricklayers into the bar
gain. This was too much, and Bones was
marched off to Guildhall for assaulting the
bricklayers. The magistrate rather pooh-poohed
the complaint, but bound over Bones to keep
the peace. The causa 6eli, the wall, was re-
edited fourth time; but when the Trustees
revisited the place next morning, it was again
in ruin! While they were in consultation upon
this last insult, they were politely waited on by
an attorneys clerk, who served them all with
writs' in an action of trespass, at the suit of
Bones, for encroaching on his land.
g Thus war was declared about piece Of
dirty land, literally not so big as doorstep
and the whole fee-simple of which would not
sell for shilling. The Trustees however
thought they ought not to give up the rights of
the parish to the obstinacy of q peryerse fellow,
like Bones, and resolved to indite Bones for
assaulting the workmen. Accordingly, the ac-
ton and the indictment went together.
"The action was tried first and as the eyi-
dence clearly showed the Trustees had kept
within their own boundary, they got the verdict
Bones moved for new trial; that failed. The
Trustees now thought they would let the mat
ter rest as it had cost the parish about one
hundred and fifty pounds, and they supposed
Bones had had enough of it. But they had
mistaken their man. He brought writ of error
in the action, which carried the cause into the
Exchequer Court, and tied it up nearly two
years. and in the mean time he forced them,
nolens polens, to try the indictment When the
trial came on, the Judge said that as the whole
question had been decided in the action, there
was no occasion for any further proceedings,
and therefore the defendant had better be ac-
! quilted, and so make an end Of it.
Accordingly, Bones was acquitted; and the
very next thing Bones did, was to sue the Trus
| tees in new action for maliciously insttuting
the indictment against him without reasonable
~,.s.se, TIL aSoion wenI uH ~ uIlai anu
| it being proved that one of the Trustees had
| been overheard to say that they would punish
him, this was taken as evidence of malice, and
Bones got verdict for forty shillings damages
| besides all the costs. Eated with this victory,
Bones pushed on his old action in the Exche-
| quer Chamber to hearing but the court af-
| firmed the Judgment against him, without hear
| ing the Trustees counsel.
ssThe Trustees were now sick of the very
name of Bones, which had become sort Of
bugbear, SO that if Trustee met friend in
the street, he would be greeted with an inquiry
after the health Of his friend Mr.. Bones. They
would have gladly let the whole matter drop
into oblivion, but Jupiter and Bones had deter
mined otherwise; for the indomitable Briton
! brought writ Of error in the House of Lords,
on the judgment of the Exchequer Chamber.
The unhappy Trustees had caught Tartar, and
follow him into the Lords they must. Accord
ingly, after another year or twos delay, the case
came on in the Lords. Their Lordships pro-
nounced it the most trumpery writ of error they
had ever seen, and again affirmed the judgment,
with costs, against Bones The Trustees now
taxed their costs, and found that they had spent
not less than five hundred pounds in defending
their claim to bit Of ground that was not Of
the value Of an old shoe. But then, Bones
/ was COIueInHeu W pay Ie Oo5to' iiuV, ~
| they issued execution against Bones; caught
him, after some trouble, and locked him up in
Jail. The next week, Bones petitioned the In
solvent Court, got out Of prison, and, on exam
ination Of schedule, his effects appeared to be
60 0s. 0d. Bones had, in fact, been fighting
the Trustees ON credit for the last three years !;
for his own attorney was put down as creditor
to n large amount, which was the only satisfac-
ton the Trustees obtained from perusing his
| schedule.
They were now obliged to have recourse to
the Parish funds to pay their own law expenses,
and were consoling themselves with the rehec-
ton that these did not come out of their o,cn
pockets when they received the usual notfca-
ton that bill in Chancery had been filed
against them, at Mr.. Boness suit, to overhaul
their accounts with the parish, and preUent The
misapplicaton Of The parish money to the pay
ment Of their law costs This was the climax
And being myself disciple Of Coke, ! have
heard nothing further Of it, being unwilling,
as well perhaps as unqualified, to follow the
case into the labyrinthic vaults of the Court Of
Chancery. The catastrophe, if this were tale,
could hardly be mended-so the true story may
end here.