The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1851-12-25

son why SCIIe wing SlateS now Uhy
!, choose Democrats for Governors, and some
Democrat States choose Wings for Cover
noss, aud why some Wing papers take
, sides with Democrats, and some Dcmocra.
papers takes side with Wings. It's all
nothin else but Jest the crowdin Of these
twenty young sproutin parties to see which
shall get the most ashes out Of the two old
stamps 10 spread round their own roots 70
make 'ern grow and ovcrtop the rest.
Nov, suppose some folks says he.
sthinkin the Wing and Democrat parties
was alive yet, should go ahead and callthe
national conventions as they used 70, and
should let nobody in but jest the two old
parties, and nominate their Presidents on
THE two old Wing and Democrat platforms
Each party would then have jest about
nineteen parties figh,in agin 'em, and no
body would stand any chance 70 choose .
Pfesjden1s There would be the UnioD
Wings, and the Abolition Wings, and the
Union Democrats, and tho Abolition Dem
ocra,s, and the Silver-gray Wings, and the
Woolly-head Wings, and the Hunker Dem
ocrats, aud the Barnburncr Democrats. and
the Seward party, and the Union Slfeiy
Committee party, and the old Abolition
Iparty, and the regular Free-sile party, and
the regular Vote Yourselca-Farm party,
and the old Secession party, and the Co
Operation Secessionists, and the Outand-
out unqualified 60 alone SecessionIsts, Gil
in the field and every one fghtin on their
own book. lfany body can tell where q
ship is likely to go TO when the crew is in
muliny and nobody at The helm, they csn
guess where we shall be likely TO 60 TO if
Things 90 on in this way
/ sWell.' says |, sUncle Joshua, accordin
Ito your account, think we are ia .
'|pickIe.'
That's wha, VIC be- says he: sand
there's no,hin will get US out Of il but 10
60 back to the old fashion Of two parties
agin. Thesetwen,y parties must be NAL
gamated down into two parties, and we
must begin anew, get on TO new plat
.orm, and GO ahead. But how It's to be
done puzzles me and worries me n good
deal. wish, Major, you would set yoir
wits to work aud see ifyou can't con,rive
Isome PLAN
sWell, Uncle Joshua says |, Il never
lgot so fur into the woods yet but whit ]
out is Jest as plain as The road TO fni!.'
/ At tha, Uncle Joshua gin me slap on
The shoulder That cen amost fetched me
lover, and says be, .Major, that makes ME
feel as if a flash Of tightening went through
me. Ifany body else had said il, | should
say twas all humbug; but if you say it !
believe it. Now, 10 the name Of Old fiick
DRY. du 60 TO work and show US the way
ont Of the woods
4 sWc!I,' says ], sunc!s, dcn't think we
can malgcnate the twenty parties down
into two, bu. think we can sifi 'em out in
TO two parties and make clean square work
|of il. In the first place, we must get q
principle TO fight about, for you've JEST
proved that that's the whole life Of parties;
and the greater the principle is, the
Is.raightcr will the parties draw The lines
land the harder they'll fight. Now, let us
IRo right to work and hew out d new plat
4 form that shall reach clear from Maine to
|t'other cnd OF Texas, and from New York
to California, and run up our flag on it,
with letters large enough for all 10 read
i ! He ONiON AND IHE SoNSTtIu1tSN. SoW
i AND FOREVER.
Then we call out 10 the twenty parties
and say: sHcre. look mp there; that's your
flag, and them's our Sentiments. Now, all
Of ye that ANT got tired Of them things,
and don't want 10 see 'ein ali upset and
smashed TO pieces, and sunk TO the bot,om
Of tho sea, jest come out Of your twenty
quarreling parties. and get up On to this
platform and fight Ter the Union and the
4 Constitution
4 q tell you what 'tis, Uncle Joshus,
there's always majority in every ship
tha. had rather get safe through the voy-
age than 10 be upset aud go 10 the bottom.
And | amt Bit afraid but what there
would soon be party Of cone-outers on
that platform that would be big enough to
take care Of the ship. II might not be bic
enough 10 go over TO Europe and whip oil
Russia, bat I'll wager my head it would be
big enough TO keep Russia from coming
over here and whipping US. Now. wha'
do you think Of my plan, Uncle Joshuai
Doat you think ii'll work.?
s&Nell. don't doubt but that would be a
leooo way to get up ONE party says Uncle
Joshua; sbut | don't see how that would
get as out OF the difficulty after all; for
. there would still bs as many parties Jeff
as there is now. Il would still have TO be
one cgin nineteen; and Pm afraid your
come-outer party would have bard work to
get President IT they had TO fight agin
the nineteen or twenty quarreling parties.
| can't see much chance TO do any thing
unless we can come down 10 two parties.
4 as We used to-
4 well, that il jest what I've done, says
l.; Il hare come down to tw6partics.'
4 'How do you make that o0tp says I'm,
cle Joshua, opening his eyes abou. half an
inch wider. sWhen you had got some Out
Of all the twenty parties to make up yonr
lccme-outer party, wouldn't thero still be
twenty parties len?'
i Me- says |, 'Uncle Joshas, there
wouldn't be but one party !elt'
i sIiow do you make that out?' says he
} 'l've cyphered as fur as The rulo Of three,
! bu. that sum beats me. You say, subtrac,
one from twenty, and one remains Nov
the way always used to do il wac, one
from twenty leacss aineseen.'
! No. says I. sUncle Joshus, that ain'i