Calaveras chronicle., 1851-10-18

IOlHs.
The three most mlschieYous imps in
creation are a monkey, midshIpman,
and freshman. The latter enters col
lege, his memory stored with wendrOus
tales Of the bold feats Of his prede ces-
Sors, his ambition fired with the idea of
eclipsing them, aud firm conviction
that il is his bounden duty to make as
great noise, and annoy professors aud
classmates as mnch as he can with any
degree of safety to himself As he ad-
vances in his college life he abandons
the stereoty tricks of the youngest
class for fun more refined in its nature,
aud evineing more Of wit in conceptions
and execution. Perhaps the acme of
cool impudence IS attained about the
close of the sophomore year. We have
no tangible authority for so saying, but
yet will guarantee that none but So
phomore was the hero OF the following
anecdote:-
CHoPPING LoGIc AND Cutting AN
swEEs.-Dr. --, in Propria persona,
called upon a Southern student one
morning in the recitation room, to de-
fine logic. The question was some
thing in this form:
F." Mr.. --, what is logic ~
{" Logic, sir, Is the act Of reasoning"
aye; but wish you to give the
definition in the exact words Of the
learned author"
: Oh, sir, he gives very long, intri-
cate, confused definition, with which
| did not think proper to burden my
memory"
care you aware who the learned au
thor il ~
Oh, yes; your honor, sir.'
Well, then, | fine you one dollar
for disrespect.
Taking out a two dollar note, the
student said with the utmost sang
froid
'If you will change this will pay
YOU on the spot"
81 fine you another dollar, SIR said
the professor, emphatieally, " for re-
peated disrespect.p
Then 'tis ust the change, sir, said
the student, coolly.
A very cool answer from soPho-
more is indelibly recorded among the
memories Of our college days.
Professor - had a peculiarly red
nose 50 red, indeed, that it was usu-
ally deemed sign that the interior Of
the temple was dedicated to Bacchus.
Upon this point the professor was pecu-
liarly sensitive.
One day, chesnut, propelled by
some invisible hand, hurtled across the
room, and came So violently in contact
with the learned geutIeman's bald pate,
that, glanclng of, il spun almost up TO
the ceiling.
"Mr. r." Numbered out the
professor, "that was you, sir; don't
deny it, sir; your bushes betruy you,
sir.''
DO you think that | blush, sir p
modestly asked the student.
g Blush!" retorted the professor.
f." Your face is as red as beet"
+" Pardon me, sir," replied F., "l
think it's only the reflection of light ;
perhaps you looked at me ever you'
nose
Among the most amusing pages are
those devoted to an account of the
" Medical Faculty Society" Of Har-
ward, which commenced its funny ex-
istence in 1918, and terminated it in
1884. Distinguished persons very fire.
quently-much to their surprise-re-
ceived advices Of honorary member
ship. A triennial catalogue, i'll very
porcine Latin, was issued, in imitation
Of the Triennial of the college, and in
it persons who had acquired some ridi-
! culous notoriety frequently found them
selves suddenly immortalized and
placed in very queer company. Among
those upon whom honorary degrees
; were conferred, we find Chrstophe OF
Hayti, William Cobbett, John C.
Synmes, Alexander the first Of Russia
who was so completely deceived by
the appearance Of the sheepskin thai
he forwarded a valuable present to the
society Andrew jackson, Pop EN-
mons, Day s Martin, Sam Patch
i, Chang and Eng, Martin Van Buren,
|, the Sea Serpent, Captain Hall, Mrs
Trollope, and the Rev Isaac Fiddler
rather Heterogeneous collection. Com
plants to the Faculty Of Harvard
from some Of the parties 50 distln
guished, al last resulted in the breaking
up of the society.
! The +" commons" have always been {
fruitful subject for complaint among
J students. We find recorded,
: The SAD EFFECTS OF roo MUcF
! LAMB.-Thc students, after eating thi