Burlington hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1845-185?, 1851-03-06
THE PIGEON EXPRESS MAN.
PRETTY CoNsIDERABLE BIRD STORY,
WRITTEN FOR THE YANKEE BLADE.

A PRETTY CONSIDERABLE BIRD STORY,
WRITTEN FOR THE YANKEE BLADE.
nv JACK HrMpHRIgs.
In nearly all yarns or plays in which
Yankees figure, hey are supposed to be
"a ieetle teu darn'd ceute" for almost any
body else, creating heap Of fun, and
coming out clean ahead; but that even
Connecticut Yankees-the cntest and all.
hredest tight critters on the face of the
yearfh, when money or trades in the ques.
tion-are "doneh now and then, upon the
most scientific principles, we are going to
prove.
1t is generally known, in The news paper
world, that two or three wooden nutmeg
branded Yankees, a few years ago, started
paper in Philadelphia, upon the penny
! principle, and have since realized splen-
did fortune, all around. They were, and
are men OF great enterprise and liberality,
as far as their business is concerned, and
thereby they got ahead of all competition,
and made their pile. The proprietors Of
the Ledger We're always "ny" for any
new dodge, by which they could keep the
lead of things, and monopolize the neus
market. The Telegraph had not turned
up in the day of which we write-the
mails, and, now and then, express horse
lines, were the media through which
Great Erciiemenis Alarming Erents ! !!
Great Fires and .7pful Calamities I!
were come at. One morning, as Swain
was sitting in his office, long, lank geni-
US, with a visage as hatchet-faced and
keen as any Connecticut Yankees on re-
cord, came in, and enquired of one Of the
! clerks for the proprietors of that institu-
tion. Swain being pointed out, the thin
man made lean towards him. After get
ting close up, aud twisting and screwing
around his head to see that nobody was
listening or looking, the lean man sat
down very gingerly upon the extreme
! verge Of chair, and leaning forward un-
til his razor-made nose almost touched
that Of the publisher, in low, nasal, anx-
ious tone, says he
"Air yeou one Of the publishers Of this
paper?"
i am sir, my name is SWAIN
'Oh, yeou ARP said the visitor, again
looking suspiciouslyaround and about him.
Did you ever hear tell Of the Pigeon
Erpress?' he continued.
The Pigeon Express?' echoed the pub
Usher.
'Ya-a-s. Carrier pigeons-letters to
their legs and newspapers under their
wings-trained to fly anywhere you warn'
'em.
Carrier pigeons mused the publish.
er--Carrier-pigeons, trained to carry
billets-bulletins and
Go from fifty TO . hundred miles an
hour!' chimed in the stranger.
True, 50 they say. very trne,' eons;n-
ued s. musingly.
Elegant things for gettin' or sendin
noos ahead Of every body else
Precisely, that's fact S. responded
rising from his chair and pacing the floor,
as though rather and decidedly taken BY
the novelty and feasibility Of the opera
| tion.
/ You'd have 'em all, Mister, dead a.
mutton, by Pigeon Express
i like the idea, good, first rate!' said
Swain. ta8
| Cant be beat, noheow = said the stran.
ger. s5
But what would il cost p
Two hundred dollars, and small wa.
gon, 20 begin on,' q stssS
A small wagon?
/ .Y-a-a-s. You see, Mister, the birds
haff 10 be trained to fly from one pint to
another =
yes well?' 81
| .W-a-a-ll, yeou see the birds is put in :
box, on the top of the bildin,' for spell
teu git the hang of things, and SO on?'
Yes, very well; go on
Then the birds are put in cage, the
trainer takes EN- in his wagon--ten miles
at fust throws 'em up, and the birds GO
to the bildin'-next day fifteen miles, and
SO forth, yeou see.'
I Perfectly, understand, now where
can these birds be had p
/ Putting his thin lips close to the pub.
lisher's pendant ears, in a low, long way
says the stranger
i 'Tre got EN-! R-a.l.e Persian birds.
be-u-tis Y .s7 "aa
/ You understand training them p say.
| the anxious publisher.
A"S 70 OOots WIG SbauSCl
where are the birds p the publisher
inquired.
| I've got 'em, down to the tavern, wher,
I'm stoppin.'
Bring them up, let me see them, lie: mt
see them 2 III fs..
Certain, Mister, Of course Responded
the Pigeon Expressman, leaving the tick
led to death publisher, who paced his Of
flee, as full Of effervescence as a jimmy
John Of spruce beer in dog days.
About this time, pigeons were being
trained, and in few cases, now and ther
really did carry messages for lottery tick.
ct vendors in Jersey City, to Philadelphia
Wilmington and Baltimore but these ex.
ploits rarely paid first cost, and did no,
amount 10 much although some noise
was made about the wonderful perfor.
nance Of certaiu carrier pigeons. Bu
the Ledger was to have new impulse
astonish all creation and the rest Of man.
kind, BY their Pigeon Express. SWANS
partner, Simmons, was in New York
fishing for novelties, and Swain determin.
!. ed 10 astonish him upon his return home
by the bird business! A coop was fixed
on the top Of the sbildin,' as the great in