Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1851-09-03
DANGER OF ELECTIONEERING

OF live ankee as a correspondent VINO
having wandered as far South as Louisiana
peddlng notions, has settled down some
where in the Caddo country or some other
undiscovered region Of the Stale, and there
concluded to run for Congress. The fol-
lowing extract of a letter 10 the editor OF
The Picayune. describing one ofhis election
eering tours, is a specimen Of the luck he
had in this delightful business. We com
mend it, as a caution, TO the notice of our
elec,ioneering friends in Charles:
"Well, put up with first-rate, good
natured feler ha, ! met at billiard table.
| went in and was introduced to his wife,
fine fat woman, who looked as though she
lived on laf1in: her face was so full of fun.
After awhile-af,er we'd talked about my
gal, about the garden and abou! the wealth
er, and so on--in came three or four child
rem, lafin and skippin as merry as crickets.
There warn. no candle lit, but could see
they were fine looking fellows, and start
ed for my saddle bags, in which had put a
lot of sugar candy for the children, as |
went along. 'Come here said !, syou little
rogue, come alang here, and tell me what
your name is , the eldest then come up 10
me, and says he:
"My name is Peter Smith, sir"
"And what's your name, sir!" said !.
bob Smith, sir"
The next said his name was Bill Smith,
and the fourth said his name was Tommy
Smith. Well, gave 'em sugar candy and
old Miss Smith was so tickled thai she
laughed all The time. Mr.. Smith looked on,
bu, didn'. say much. why" says !, miss
Smith, wouldn't take good deal for them
four boys, if had 'em, they're SO beautiful
and sprigh.ly."
NO." says she, laf1in, 81 set good deal
Of store by 'em, but we spoil 'em too much.
'Oh no." says ], ''lhey're ra'al well be-
haved children, and by gracious, says ],
pretending to be started by sudden idea
of a striking resemblance tween them boys
and their father, and looked at Mr.. Smith,
81 never did see nothing equal to it," says
I-"your eyes, mouth, forehead, a periec.
picture Of you, sir" says ], tappn' the Oldest
on The pate. | though. Miss Smith would
have died laf1in at that; her arms fell down
by her side, and her head fell back, and she
shook the hull house laffin.
"Do you think so, Col. Jones?' says she,
and she looked towards Mr.. Smith, and
thought she'd 60 off in fit.
eyes," says ], 81 do really think so.''
'Ha, ha, ha-howw - says Mr.. Smith,
kinder half latin, ''you're too hard on me
now, with your jokes.'
81 an's jokin' at aIl,'' says !, "lhey're
handsum children, and they do look won-
derfully like you"
Jus, then gal brought in light, and I'll
be dsrned if the little brats didn't turn out
to be mulaltoes, every one Of 'em, and their
hair was as curly as the blacklist niggers.
Mr.. and Mrs. Smith never had any children
and they sort of pe,ed them little niggers
as play things. never fell! so slreaked as
did when saw how things stood. III
hadn'. kissed the little nasty things, could
ge. over it; bu. kissing on 'em showed
that was in airnesi, (Ihough | was soft
soapin' on 'em all the time how to get out
of the scrape | didn't know. Mrs. Smith
lafled so hard when she seen how confused
| was, tha, she almost suffocated. A lille
while afterwards there was whole family
Of relations arrived from the city, and turn
ed the matter off but next morning could
see Mr.. Smith did not like the remembrance
of wha, said, and dom. believe he'll vote
for me when the election comes on. 'spect
Miss Smith KEEP, the old fellow under that
joke for some time.
PRETTY GooD.-An eloquent minister of
the gospel, preaching for brother, paus-
ed in the middle Of his sermon, and re-
marked -
eff ! were at home, meaning in his own
church) | would say something about going
to sleep; bu, as am not, | forbear."
In an instant, heads, which had been qui-
e,ly resting on the pew-backs, Strengthened
up with military precision The preacher
concluded his remarks without further an
noyaice.
THE LAST YANKEE SroRY.-A lady pas
sing through New Hampshire observed the
following notice on a board:
"Horses taken to grass. Long tail three
shillings and sixpence short tails two shil-
Iings."
The lady asked the owner of the land
The reason for the difference of price.
"Why, you see, ma amp was the reply
"the long tails can brush away the flies;
but the short tails are SO tormented by them
that they can hardly eat at alp
Some hard stories are told Of me Pontiac
Railroad, in Michigan. A witness on the
stand was asked if he ever knew any one
killed on the road, and he replied-"No;
but knew couple who took passage on
it, and died at the half-way station from old
age!"
You look rather flat, as the tea-ke.le
said to a pancake. ! would take that as
insult, said the pancake, but am aware .ha.
| you have been seamlng it.