Calaveras chronicle., 1851-11-08
ODDS AND ENDS.

IuC
Of woman, is like lone tree in a will
lerneSs-or like a dismasted ship, toss
ing upon the ocean, and entering what
ever harbor Providence directs. A
good woman is To man what an expe-
rienced helmsman is to vessel-guid-
ing and showing him the. best way
through this perilous voyage of life,
she keeps him clear of the many rocks
and shoals of misfortune, and lands
him safely in that haven of bliss re-
served for the godly and successful
cruisers.-T" Hulks."
Qua NovEL.-Chap.. 1-When the
assassin beheld the CORY iesstts-c Irno-
gen, he fell upon the ground-and got
up.-T To he continued.
New BLooMER. The Boston Bee
states that at the recent dress ball at
Newport, one of the most attractive
ladies present was attired in white
muslin dress tucked up to the aOaist!
AN editor out West, summing up the
virtues Of Soap-boiler, lately deceas-
ed concluded his eulogy with the fol-
lowing phrase, "peace to his ashes"
The remark gave great offence to the
family, one Of whom called upon the
editor and threatened him with person.
al violence.
A LADY meeting a girl who had late
Iy left her service, inquired, "Well,
Mary, where do you live now ?''-
I" Please ma'am," answered the girl, |
don't live now; Pm married."
A PREACHER having laid a wager
that he would make a declaration Of
love in the pulpit, took these words for
his text: I" 1t is for you, woman, that |
die"
READING the G Merchant Of Venice"
the other evening, Col. PEBBLES re-
marked, that if the equality Of mercy"
was ever strained, he should like to
get what was left in the seive.
The Lockport Courier gives an epi-
taph in Washington for a little boy,
who fell a victim to a prevailing dis
easel
s'The little hero who lies here,
Was conquered by the diarrhoea."
LIVELY, good humored old women
are what ralSins are to fresh grapes.
They are withered, but they are also
preserved, ana appear W advantage III
the freshest company.
HERE is bedstead at the Worlds
Fair which, by means of spring, set
at certain hour, wakes the sleeper by
turning him out upon the floor.
GENTLEMEN Of the Jury," said
western lawyer, 81 don't mean tu in
sinuate that this man is covetous per-
son, but | will bet five to one that if
YOU should bait a steel trap with a new
three cent piece and place it within six
inches Of his mouth, you would catch
his soul'
A WESTERN paper in speaking of
poet out his way, says he begins to claim
the usual privilege Of talent. He has
been drunk four times within the last
week.
In some parts of Mexico barter is
carried to an extent that would even
make a Yankee stare. During Ma
dame Anna Bishops visit to some of
the more secluded towns, the thing was
SO "run into the ground," that she had
TO paste the following notice on the
door posts: =" No more game cocks TAX
en- at the box office"
LADY and female are fast supplanting
the good old names Of wife and wo-
man. We suppose that the same dan
dyism will find out some new name for
father and mother. Lady is beauti-
ful word in its proper application, bat
it does not mean wife.
CEREMONY resembles that base coin
which circulates throug a country by
the royal mandate; it serves every
purpose of real money at home; but it
is entirely useless if carried abroad;
person who should attempt to circulate
his native trash in another country,
would be thought either ridiculous or
cuIpabIe. He Is truly we'll bred who
knows when to value and when to des-
pise those national peculiarities which
are regarded by some with so much
observance. A traveller of taste at once
perceives that the wise are polite all the
world over; but that fools are only po-
lite at home.
WAS considerably amused not long
since, to hear Of the bequest made by
a man, residing not more than a hun
dred miles from the town of Oakham.
His will ran as follows: After be-
queathing some few articles Of person
al property to his wife and children, it
continued-sI give and beqneath to my
eldest brother, Nose, one thousand dol
lars Why said the magistrate,
yod are not worth half of that sum in
the world Well, no matter it aint,'
replied the donor: it's my will that
hrotner Nose should have one thousand
IoIlars, and he may work and get it if
le's miud to-