The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1851-10-03
A SPEECH AS Is A SPEECH.

| ''''S ~ 10 u cil'IL " tU0
KIND, and too rich for us not to give our
readers n chance to laugh over it. So here
goes:
LADIES AND GENrLEMEN:-I rise, but
here's no Use of telling you That. you know
am up. as well as do. arn n modest
'nan--very- never los, picayune by
~ III my II'e-beDg u scarce commodity
among cnndda les. thought would mem
'ioa Il, for fear il dldn', you never would
hear Of It.
H1ndiG,,es are generally considered as
J'atsdH,eR. vat they are moi. they are ;he po.'
'lie't men IN the world sh"Ke you by The
hand, ask h0"'s your fBmrIy, what's the
prospect for crops, &c. and am the polit.
est man there is in the State. Davy Crock
EFT says, The poitest man he ever saw,
when he asked a man to drink. turned his
bnck so TINT he might drink as much as no
pleased. beat that all hollow. | give
u,un chance to drink twice if he wishes.
for not only turn around, bu shut n,u cues.
| am not only the pollteSt man but the best
eleclloneerer- you ought TO see me sha King
bands with the variations. the pump handle;
and pendulum, the cross cut, and wiggle-
wagg!e, understand the scIerce perfectly,
and # any Of the county candidates wish
Instructions, they must call on me.
Fellow -cllIZenS--l was bnrn-if hadn't
been, wouldn't have been a candidate. but
an going to tell you where-',was not in
Mis9I>slppI, but twas On the right side of
the negro line; yet that's no compliment, ns
the negroes ar. mostly horn on the same
side. ! started III the world as poor as
church mouse, yet came honestly bv nv
poverty, for inherited it, and If die start
poor. no man can't say that huve held my
own remarkably well.
Candidates generally tell you-if you
thlmk they are qualified, sc. Now ] DONE
ask your thoughts, | ask your votes. Why
there's no'hlng to think Of, except to wa'ch
and see that swans name IS not on your
ticket, if SO Mink to scratch it off and put
mine on. ain certain that am competent,
for who had ought to know better than |
do ?--nobody, will allow that Swan is the
best Auditor IN the Stac; that is nll | am
elcc'rd then perhaps IT'S not proper for me
to say anything more, yet as an honest man;
nm bound TO say that | believe it's
gricvou- sin to hide anything from nv
teiIow.ci'Izens, therefore say that it's my
private opinion, publicly expressed; that I'll
make the best Auditor ever in the United
States.
lls nat for honor wlsh to he Auditor;
for IN my own country | was offered an
oi!ce that wnsnIl honor-Coroner, which [
Respectfully declined. The Auditors Office
is worth some 50, 600 n yenr, and am in
for it like II thousand of brick. To show nv
goodness Lf heart. II make this offer to INV
n.,gh
he viii loose somethlng by the canvass-
therefore am wiling 10 DIVIDE equally with
him, AMI make 'h"se two offers. ri take
he saiary and he may have the honor, or he
may have the honor and I'll take the ssIsrv:
In the way Of honJrs have received enough
to satisfy me Tor life. | wen, out to Mexico:
ga, pork anI b"ans-s,ept IN the rain and
mad, aud >wa lnHcd everything excerpt live
NIX cans. When | was ordered to go
went. Charge | charged. And break
tor the chappare',' you had better believe |
beat quarter nag IN dong my duty.
My competitor, Swan. !. bird of 90 den
pIumhl q, who has been swimming tor the
last tour years IN The AUDITORS pond, Mt
sI,cOO year. am for rolurloD. | want
10 rotate hIm out, and rotate my ysef in
There's plenty of room for hun to swim
outside OF that therefore pop in your
vote Tor mc-.'I pop hun OUT, und pop
my self IN.
| an Tor division OF labor Swan says
he has 10 work al the time with his nnse
down upon the public grnd>onc. Four
years must inve ground it to mint. Poor
fellow, the pub lc ough, not to In.is, on
h'vIng the hnndie Of his muC ground clean
I nj | hoy yp n IL, IuII
blown nose, rcd rs q bee! and tough ns snlr-
leather. rush 10 lhc post of duty. | ulIer
II up as sacrifice. clap il On the grind
stone. Fellow ciIIz"r', grind away--prInd
I II halter enuB. and that III b" sone Inn.
first. tor I'll hang like grim death To d.ud
African,
Times rncst out. W,I / like to forgot
to tel you my name. li's D,nei- tor short:
Dan. Not hahdsoine name. for my par.
,n's were poor people, who livcd where the
quality appropriated all the nee names:
therefore. they had to take whai was left
nnd DIVIDE around among ns--bu: IFS as
handsome as | ain--R. Russell. Rcmcm.
Der every one "f you that IT'S not Swan.
arn sure TO be elected. 80 one and all.
great and small. >hnr, and tall, VIXEN you
come down to Jackson. after the elec,,on-
stop at the A hJditor's "tfcr--ihe tch str,np
always hang, ont-enler without knnckinn
take oil your thIns., and iiake yourselfat
home.
Dan crawliShcd out OF the stand, bobbinr
hIs head Ike n iip'up, amid cheers for
50 Dan, ga DIN Russel'.' aud "Youug
Davy Crockett"
Dobbs says there is an advantage abcu,
plaid trowsers-every time he gets aslcep.
the boarders roll HIM over and play check.
crs on him.
The discovery has been made, that with
out mouth man could neither cat.
drink, talk, kiss the girls. nor chsw tobac-
CO.
II is stated in late foreign per, that a
young lady, at Liscard purcl,a sed some eggs.