The Woodville Republican., 1851-08-12
Parody on III, Declaration Of independence.

having acquired considerable property,
grew vUgy careless, and so offended the
/ lawyers hy whom for many years his
house had been visited, that during the
crowded session of the conrt they with
one accord rorSook him, leaving behind
them the following:
When In the course of human events
it becomes necessary for half huns
cry, half.fed, imposed on set of men to
dissolve the bonds of landlord and
boarder, decent respect for the opin.
ions Of mankind require that they
should declare the causes which have
impelled them to a separation.
We bold those truths TO be selfevi,
dent. all men are created with mouths
and stomachS; and they are endowed
by their creator with certain inaliena.
bic rights, among which are, that no
man shall be compelled to starve, out
of mere compliance to a landlord, and
that every man has right to fill his
stomach and wet his whistle with the
best that is going.
The history of the present lands
lord of the White Lion, is a history of
repeated insults, exactions and injuries,
all having direct object, ia6 estab'
ishment of an absolute tyranny over
our stomachs and throats. To prove
this, let facts be submitted to candid
world.
lie refused TO keep any thing to
drink but bald.iace whiskey.
lie has refused to set upon his table
for dinner, anything but turnip soup,
with a little tough beef and sour krout,
which are unwholesome, and not de
signed for the public good.
lie has refused to let his only SER
want, blink. eyed Joe, put more than
six grains Of coffee to one gallon of
water.
He has turned loose a multitude Of
mosquitoes TO assail us in the peaceful
hours of the night, and eat up our sub.
stance.
He has kept up, in our beds and bed
steads, standing armies, and merciless
savages, whose rule Of warfare is un>
distinguished destruction.
lie has excited domestic insurrec-
ton among us, by taking bitters before
breakfast and making his wife and SER
want do the same before dinner, where.
by there is often the very deuce to pay
lie has waged cruel war against ma.
ture herself, by feeding our horses on
broomstraw, and carrying them of ia
drink where the swine refuses TO wal
low.
lie has protected ono-eyed Joe in his
viIIainy. in the robbery of our judge
by pretending to give him a mock trial
after sharing with him the spoils.
lie has cut off our trade with for.
eign ports, and brought in his own
bald. face whiskey, when we had sent
him to buy better liquor abroad, and
with perlidy scarcely parallelled IL
the most barbarous ages, he has beer
known to drink our foreign spirits, ant
fll up our bottles with his own dire
potations.
lie has imposed taxes upon Us 10 al
enormous amount against our consent
and without any rule but his own ar
bilrnry will and pleasure.
A landlord whose character is thus
marked by every act which may de
fine a tyrant and is unfit to keep q
boarding house for Cherokee Indians
Nor have we been wanting in our at
tention TO Mrs. b. and Miss Sally.
We have appealed to their nativ
justice and magnanimity, we have con
iured them to alter state of thes
things which would inevitably inter
rupt our connection and corPespon
dehce. They too, have been deaf t
the voice of justice, we are, therefore
constrained to hold all three Of thes
parties alike inimical to our well be
: ing and regardless 10 our comfort.
, We therefore make this declaratio
of our final separation from our land
y lord and cast defiance in his teeth.
e CHEAP Oh FOR KITCHEN LAMPs--L
all scraps OF iat bits on the dinner plate
and all drippings be set in a cold plac
Put the fat in an iron pot, filling il ha
/ way up with fat; and pour in suTce
cold water to reach the top. Set it ov
n the fire, and boil and skim it till the imp
S rites are removed. Next pour the melt
fat into large broad pan of cold wat
c and set it away TO cool. 1t will hard
e into cake. Then take out the cake al
u put it away into a cool pIace.-Wh
wanted for use, cut of sufficient qnan
'i ty, melt by the fire till it becomes liqu
and then ill the lamp with it, as with lar
e It will give clear, bright light, gu
u equal to that Of lard, aud better than VIII
oil; and it costs nothing but the trout
of preparing the fat.
n A countryman was standing on t
We wharf in the city, the other day, watchi
tx the process OF hosting the anchor OF Il