The Plymouth pilot. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1851-1852, 1851-06-04
HUM OROUS.
From a South Carolina Pepper.
NEWSPAPER COLLECTING.
A little Hum0r, n0U and then,
Is ret'shed b. the best Of man.

My DEAR SIR:-l have just returned
troE9 tour through this State, and pro-
coed TO furnish YOU with all account of nv
labors and their success. | have been
gone for three months, and assure YOU, in
all sincerity. that | am fully satisfed.-
You furnished me a list of one hundred
and seventeen owing subscribers, as you
will recallect. l have called upon one
hundred and four of them, and have the
honor of paying over to your order three
dollars and twelve and ne-half cents,
being the amount to which YOU are emit
tied. | return YOU the list numbered
to III, and now give you the reply of
each.
No. lis minister. He says liz the
first place he never got one half of the
numbers, ia lie according to the account
OF the POSTMASTER and in the next place
your joker's column was too scurrilous.-
He can't think of aiding to sustain pa
per that advertises horse races and gan
der pullings. Besides he knows from the
tone OF your editorials that you drink,
and paying you would only be the means
of your ending your days in the kennel
He wonders at your impudence in send
ing him his bill after publishing an ac-
count of the great prize fight between
Left Handed Smoke and Gathering Bell.
He wants nothing to do with you-nev-
er wants to hear from you again.
No. 2-ls in Jail for debt. He has
not seen half dollar for a year. Says
he would pay with the utmost cheerful
ness, If he only had the money. but had
to borrow shit to put on last Sunday.
Admires your paper wonderfully, and
hopes you will continue sending it to
him. He wishes you to take a bold
stand in favor of the abolition of impris-
Onment for debt, as he thinks it would
be very popular move with gentlemen
III his situation. If you send him any
more papers he hopes that you will see
that the postage is paid. as otherwise he
will be unable TO enjoy your lucubrations.
Sends his best respects
No. 3-ls young doctor. Saws your
paper is beneath the notice of a gentle
man. Wouldn't give a-for cart
load. Says you inserted an article re-
fecting on the profession. Only wishes
he could catch you here-woud make
You smell. Is going to persuade
every bod that takes your paper to stop
1t. Curs'd your bill and says you may
collect 1t in the best way you can.
No. lis an old Mid. Says you are
always taking fling at single ladies of an
uncertain age. Wouldn't pay you if she
was rolling in wealth, and you hadn't
cash enough to buy crust of bread
Sent all the papers she had back a month
ago, and says now that she sent them
back she don't owe you anything. Says
she is even with you, and intends to
keep so until the day of judgment. Ask
ed me not to forget to tell you that you
are no gentleman, or you wouldn't un
dertake to SANDER large and respectable
class of the female population of the
country.
No. 5-is "a gambler. A sporting
gentleman. Says lie got completely
cleaned out last week at the races
Couldn't accommodate his grandmother
with half dime if she was starving
Likes your paper toierably-would like
it better if you published more races and
would occasionally give account of
cock fight. Liked the description Of the