The southern press., 1851-04-30
TAsrINGs or PUNCH.


HASTINGS OF PUNCH.
Coon News FOR MIslsTERs.--We see by the
Australian papers that a wonderful discovery
has lately been made Of luminous wood at Port
Philip. As it seems from this intelligence that
wood is capable of some illumination, there is
hope for the Chancellor Of the Erchequers en-
lightenment.
Lines ,c,itten in Laryer's Office, on the approach
Of Spring.
Whereas, on certain boughs and sprays,
Now divers birds are heard TO sing,
And sundry flowers their heads upraise
Hail to the coming on fSpring
The songs Of those said birds arouse
The memory Of our youthful hours,
As green as those said sprays and boughs,
As fresh and sweet as those said flowers.
The birds aforesaid happy pairs
Love, mid the aforesaid boughs, enshrnes
y In freehold nests themselves, their heirs,
Administrators and assigns.
Oh. busiest term of Cupid s Court,
Where tender plaintiffs actions bring
Season of frolic and of sport,
Hail, as aforesaid, coming Spring
An Interesting Question.-eThe mother Of a
large family" has written to us to inquire il
children will be ad United at the crystal palace,
as at theatres, at half price, She expresses her
indignation that nothing is said in the list OF
prices upon that important subject. She is equal
" indignant also about the insulting silence that
is maintained upon the subject OF .bables :
They are not even mentioned in the document
alluded to We find it difficult to answer her
inquiries, and so we have sent her letter to the
exhibition committee. We have no doubt that
Prince Albert, who is himself largely interested
[. AZ. LII ~ he
next meeting Of the council.
my pet!
Child Why, grandma, after giving the sub
iect every consideration, have come to the con-
cusion that--the world is hollow, and my doll
is stuffed with sawdust, so-I-should Like
if you please, to be nunp
Notes and Queries connected ioith the Census.
We have received the following notes and
queries connected with the census; which oc-
Cured to US as involving some nice points for
the exercise of anybody's ingenuity.
It is stated that independent ministers" are
to return themselves as such. Would this head
include the government, who might be described
as ministers independent of a majority?
Barristers are to state whether they are in
g actual practice" Messrs. Briefess and Dump
were both puzzled by this instruction-both of
them having been as motionless as statues for
the last twelve months, and though always
ready to practice, never actually practising. 7
Ha! sayst thou, Caitif why may a cab
man, whose horse is broken-winded, be said to
be doing successful business?
Because he drives roaring trade! william !!
stand pffD
Neat Turn Otns, to be had by The Day, Week
Month or Year.-Inquire of the Wing ministry
Extreme Delicacy Of Feeling. The registrar
general, appointed under the census act, has
got himselfAhto terrible disgrace by emitting to
send to any of the ministers the usual form
His excuse is, " that he thought it would look
like cruel insult to ask them where they slept
on the 3Oth of March, as by that time he made
sure all the ministers would be out"
The Mgioriy on the Second Reading Of The Ec-
clesiasticdl Titles Bin.
To prop a time-honored creed, outworn,
Elsewhere fast dying out of Europe's heart,
Rome as a last resource Of priestly art,
Invaded England with hope forlorn,
Vain hope, OF feeble msconception born,
With the sound Whole confounding the sick Part,
The Public Body with the Oxford Wart, :.
Attack repulsed with universal scorn!
Incense mere smoke, the unavailing flame
OF tapers, invocations lost in air
The world beholds, and nose-led Nations stare
In wonder at the Popedom's bafled aim,
Whilst Tyranny looks on in blank despair,
For that its cause and Prestcraft' Is the same.
Prize Pigs for the Great Erhibi'ion,-Among
the articles sent to the Great Exhibition, are
1913 pigs and one bundle of IRON" Now, eight
and twenty pigs of iron will require very large
sty and we should say, that one such pig should
be sufficient specimen of the breed.