The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1851-01-11
NnMsrArER sunscnInEns.

NENhFAPEN AbUhNhlbENN'
The following classification of newspaper
subscribers, we take from the Prairie Farm
or, and from our own experience We can say
that the picture is drawn as natural a. lie II.
self First come the
GprighL-Thcso are men who take news
papers, pay for aud read them Observe the
order in which things are donc'--Thc pay
comes first, the reading next, These men
consider they get tho worth Of thoir money
in the bargain IL seems Just as fair to them
that the newspaper should be- paid for asa
barrel ofsugar or new coat They never
entertain any other opinion. When the year
runs out they are on hand with tho pay.
There il no more difficulty with them in re-
nembcriug this period, than sunday or the
first of January. II one Of them wishes IA
stop his paper, lac either calls, or writes a
letter by his postmaster, in due season, like
a man. This class is dear in the heart Of the
editor Their image in embalmcd in his
warm affections. May they live a thousand
years, and see their sous the fourth genera
ton. The second class now in mind is the
IN wcHs.-Ihis class is nearly related TO
the othcr-so near, that il is hard to toll
who're one hcgins aud the other ends. These
men always pay in advance, in the begin
ming, and intend 20 do so continually. But
memory fails little, or some mishap inter
vencs aud the time runs by-somotmcs a lit
tlc-somctimc quite a period. But their re-
Election, though nodding occasionally, never
gets sound asleep. 1t pronounccs the words
in due time, "lheprintcr is not paid and
forthwith their will TO do well kindcs into
activity. Now comes the paying up-'Mcant
10 do so before. Don't mean to leave such
pass by" A publisher can live with such
Iris hare -efTsF f'irres if- fi,'.ifisfi
ry--only little back of the uprights. If
such a man dies in arrears, his wife or son re-
members that part of the benefit was theirs,
and, estate or no estate, see that the printer
has no unsettled accounts. Now come the
Easy d0GfS.-'rhGSe mem bofiGvc in ncWs-
papers They have settled in their own
minds that newspaper is good thing. They
take them too. Sometimes at the first they
pay up for the first ycar--at any rate they
meant to pretty soon. If they have done so
they sit down with the comfortable conviction
that their newspaper is now settled for; aud
this idea having once got into their heads re-
rusUs UbsrTuarUty 10 DC rtisiurErr i5ut II ruiri-
from year 20 year--a truth once-now an
illusion gray and rheumatic with years.
The editor thinking upon the elongated and
-eloHFatinF space in the accounts current of
their dollars, begins to ask ifthey are dead or
gone to California. Now he begins to poke
hills at them. They suddenly start up to the
reality that they are, in arrears aud Ike
men as they are at the bottom,thcy pay up
They never dispute his bills-1'hey know
books tell better stories than most covered
memories. II the publisher has faith enough
or long prrse and can live alternating
year, he may su yive them. But If he is NOR
tai, woe be to m. The next class is that of
the
Dorm HtirrS.-IIcre we begin to slide o.
yer to the other side. The picture suddenly
grows sombrc, We shall despatch the Down
Killers suddenly. One of these may take
paper because his wife wants it or the chill
drcn are jealous to read it, or a ncighbor
persuadcs him. When it begins to come, he
dismisscs all thought about it further. If the
editor sends man directly to him at the end
Of two or three years, he may get some pay
for his paper, but with growls and surly looks.
lie never pays any debt if hc can get rid of
1t, and a newspaper least of all Still he hates
as lawsuits and all that 4 dun has the same
effect on him that bullet produces on a hip
popotamus-glancing from his hide, or sink
ing into his blubbcr harmless. He is always
sliding down hill, and soon emerges into an
other class, that ofthc
Nir Come Ruse-No matter how tho man
begins the subscription, he never pays for it,
not hc-''lic don'ttike that sort of paper--
II don't give no news. lie nsvor did take it.
lie didn't want it in thc=ttrSt plaza, only tack
IL 10 encourage Tho printer-and told the
postmaster so. lie sent back one more than
year ago-bosdcs he never began to take
1t till long time after it came, and he hadn't
had only two or three of them at any rate
and those he hadn't read" Wipe him Off
Here comes the
Scape Grdce.--It is enough to say of him
that he never fails TO have newspaper. two
or three them. When he thinks they have
conc about long enough Tor the publisher tof