The Plymouth pilot. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1851-1852, 1851-11-05
SQIlIBS.

Why should marriage be spoken Of a:
a tender tie? Because it is SO tough thai
nothing but death can cut it.
Why is drowsy person like tke track
Of slow sailing vessel? Because he is
hardly awake
Why is a liquor merchant like man
of perpetual vivacity? Ans. He is ne
yer out of spirits.
All men, says Byron, ARE intrinsic
rascals. and am only sorry that not be
ing dog, cannot bite them
To seek redress of grievances BY hav-
ing recourse to the law is aptly compared
to sheep running for shelter 20 a bramble
bush.
What two men are there whose infiu-
ence is equal, and whose power extends
from pole to pole? The carriers of Sc
dan chair.
1t may not be generally known that
there is sure remedy for the toothache
by taking into the palm of the right hand
certain root-to wit, the root OF the
aching tooth.
DIsraeli, in his 'Calamites of Au-
/ ihors, mentions a student who devoted
/ himself so assiduously to the study of the
Oriental languages, as entirely to forget
( his own!
Carving politeness to excess is said 20
be raising your hat TO bow TO a Young
lady IN the street. and allowing a couple
OF dirty collars and pair of socks to fall
upon the sidewalk.
Remember, john said Pennsylva-
MIA sheriff to a friend who had shaken
him rather roughly, remember, | don't
care copper about it. personally, but
whoever shakes me shakes the common
wealth.
lady hired Western country girl for
! a family help and was surprised to see
her poke her head into the parlor one af-
ternOOn when risiters were present. and
ask, Marin, did you call Jest now? |
thought hearR VEIL
Rowland Hill made a good remark
upon hearing the power of the letter H
discussed. whether it were a letter or
not. If it were not, he said. il would be
very serious affair for him. for it would
make him III all the days of his life,
Whenever the wish is father to the
thought 1t will be a(p)parent.
1t is easy enough to tell hard drinker
his offence is always branded OH the end
of his nose.
Why is very angry man like clock
at 50 minutes past l2l
Because he is ready to strike one.
1t rained SO hard in Arkansas, last
week, that people had to jump into the
river to keep from drowning.
The best bite we ever had on a fishing
excursion was the bite we took along with
us.
Since the triumph of the Yankees in
steaming and sailing, Yankee -doodle-d
should be altered, i'll England, to Yam
kee doodle
Many who seem to carry the liberty of
the people highest, serve them like
trouts-tickle them TIL they catch them.
There is man in Indiana so thin that
when the sheriff is after him he crawls
into his rifle and watches his adversary
through the touch hole.
Don't be In hurry-keep your seat
when addressed to a visitor i'm an editors
Office, means, clear out as fast as YOU
can
What branch Of education do you have
chiefly. in your SCHOOL, "A willow
BRANCH. sir; the master has used almost
d whole willow tree
In the opinion of Mrs. Mulloney. the
man that dies on a washing day. does it
out of spite. Husbands will please no.
tice.
There is man who says he has been
at evening parties out West. where the
boys and girls hug so hard that their sides
cave in. He has had many of his own
ribs broken in that way.
What is the difference between the
trunk of tree and the trunk of an ele-
plant? One Leaves in the spring, and
the other ledues whenever the menaeerie
does.
man down south, describing a lady
who had swooned. goes on thus:
Down fell the lovely maiden,
Just like slaughtered lamb.
Her hair fell round her pallid cheeks.
Like sea weeds round a clam!
Mrs. Smithers, where's (hic-cup) my
shavel 'tensils?'
Your shaving utensils? What do YOU
want of your shaving utensils at This
hour of the night3 Come to BID, you
brute, you're drunk