The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1851-03-07

ielIect Of the present generation would
in all probability use up all the material
which nature has provided for il to feed
upon; and scientific truths would be
rolled up like an old blanket, marked
demonstrated" and filed away for The
inspection Of fools that might follow
after.
While listening 10 this harangue, the
walls around me began 10 expand wider
and wider, and The ceiling above raised
TO an enormous height, while through
open doors OF passages, | saw room after
room grooming with thousands Of models,
until !, appeared as though | were in a
wilderness of miniature machinery. Very
soon pert little gentleman, with quick,
black eye; and "pussy" body, arraycd
in the queerest costume | ever saw,
came buslling up to me, and asked me
for my ticket. | involuntary thrust nv
hand into the depth cf my breecbt 8
pocket, and pulling out card, delivered
| il TO him. After looking at tie card,
and then at me, and then a, the card
again, he burst oui INTO l"ud guffaw,
that made the old Patent Office ring
"Why, sir" said he, "this is no ticket
II is the business card Of one John
Smith, advertising patent dog'churn, Of
which he here saws he is The real inven
tor, and j, beais dale in the year 1850
nearly two hundred years ago? The
chum may be found in room marked
"Inven,ions of Year $780, but the man
John Smith We havn'l got. don't much
think he is around above ground, just at
this time" saiu the little man, chuck.
ling. "But," said I, "who are you, if am
not John Smith," Were you not ap.
pointed by Fillmore, Secretary Of the
Interior, aud did no, put word in his
ear favorable 10 you" "Fillmore! Sc
crctary Of the Interior!" exclaimed he;
II appointed by Fillwory! Why, my
dear sir, was appointed only two years
ago-not two hundred!-"Chief Of the
'Grea, Central Department. as the Office
is now called"
While we were talking, Franklin,
Adams, Jefferson, aud Fulton, walked in
and took seats knew Uncle Ben the
momen, cast my eyes upon him. He
was dressed in good old 10 style-shoe.
buckles, short breeches, queue, and all
and ,ha, same jolly round face and
double chin; that tranquil coun,enon,:e ,:e
Ius, touched, without being destroyed by
comedy-were all there. Adams ind
Jefferson had before seen, and they
weie little more madern IN dress, bu
they both looked care-wer Fulton sal
apart, and eyed the other three as though
he lad seen them somewhere, but yel
could not call them by name.
The rather unexpected arrival of these
pe n,lemrn broke up the comments Of ny
Ius,ling interrogator, and one of those
pauses occurred which frequently do
upon the appearance Of strangers. Un
cie Ben asked Jefferson if he would "no
like to move up TO the fire and warm bis
feet" "Fireg' said !, "6rci Why
Uncle Ben, there is no fre-places now
a.days. Stoves and hol-air fuIn1ces arc
all the 90. This building is warmed by
a great furnace, and Two miles OF pipe
4 that conducts the heat to every room il
| it," "Not by a long way!" said my
bustIing ffiend-not by a long way, MIR
John Smith. This trumpery is all away
among the inventions If the years III ;
we're. These things belong TO the age
Of your dog churn. Why, gen'lemcn
continued he, shave yeu never heard o
the Great Southern Ho, Air Company
chartered in 1860, whose business il il
10 furnish warm air from the South Il
persons at the NorIh; price to famile:
! three dollars year; all done by a gigan
TIC underground tunnel, and. branches
worked al the other end by an air pump
Have you never heard of this, gentle
men! Here we get the natural heat o
the South, warmed by the sun; non O
4 your sinking coal and wood gases Il
corrupt and destroy it. And then tn
principle of reciprocity is Kept up; 70
we send back our cold air in The same
and so we keep up au equilibrium Of ,h
Un on. Why, gentlemen, those stoves
required constant care. As often a
every week i, was ,cessary to replenis
them with wood or coal. No! mol
! these Improvements belonged to ,h
dark ages" &f
.sBless mem exclaimed uncle Ben.-
/; "Tmpossible!" repeated Fulton. "An
} so you don't use the old Franklin stow
any more!" said Uncle Ben. "Perhaps
he continued, quiet smile playing owe
his face, as if he intended coInica
shot, "perhaps you don't use lightnn
} nowadays either, and my l'ghtning.rod
of course belong to the dark agc
toom ~
awe have the Lightning, and use
, too, but only one rod, built by the State
near its centre, which is SO colossal an
powerful that it protects everything
around it," And then the little fcllo,
ratified on about the use Of lightning; no,
) il wrote all over the world the Englis
,lI ,,nt;l I verilv helieva tha