Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1851-06-27
How "A Constable Made his First
-- -- !. Levy. ------ ----- ~ ..------

.
In one of the interior counties of Ten
nessee, an illiterate man named Jake
Short, who of law matters, it might tru
ly be said--'did not know as much a.
the law allows him"-by some chance
was elected constable. gr.ts .tI.r. ..s..
The next day he was met bv a neigh.
bor, strIding like military officer, with
his saddle-bags OIL his arm. ,0
"HoId on Jake" says he. s1safr5@
1.-The wheels of government never
STOP" 81. s.a 81 a., ..u..Z aeg
Going to make levy,' ...n..
"les, got The document in my saddle
bags" '' a .....' ...' @.' a
Z "You had better look out, the las,
man in, lost by not doing his business
according to law Goa r., f.e..1
"Can't catch me, ] am up TO how i
is done," answered the new made off.
cial, proudly, never turning his head a.
he strobe along. o. aotI7.a1 cd .'a2o
''Let me see," soliloauizes he, 81 an
10 distrain for rent, attach all the prop
erty can lay hands on.'' ... H. -.
When he arrived al the tenement; he
found it vacated, and no visible means
left. a&t rai Ha.n a..s faa #saf a.E ra4
"Whew-whcre am I TO make my
mileage pillar Of the state must have
sharp eyes--gorernment expects IT.
Alter searching about Tie houses and
bushes for sometime, he esped an anti
quated porker, and her little ones. ,a
"Ahem-Ive got em-I say rm
some"-he calculated, as he crept silly
around and caught the unsuspecting pork
er by The kink in her narrdfire, that he
might lay hands on; and go according
TO law, (for he had seen a prisoner taken
by slapping aim on the shoulder while
the process was ready shouting las he
had heard at the courD-"Hear ye-
Hark ye-lIear ye--I-a,-,ach-you."
All this time the porker had been 'uF
and doing her best licks, but Jake s
motto being never give it up so,' hung
ON to 'the forlorn hope like death to Q
departed colored gentleman.
The poet thus beautifully describes q
similar catastrophe: 1sH ass ls ssa.
''Jake fell down, and Jill came tumbling
. after" g.. ...-....... .........
The porker fell-and a wheel of gov
ernment was suddenly heels over head,
making six feet measure, aud fractu-
ring some jeans. The porker, owing,
perhaps, TO her having more propellers
than the pillar, got under way first, the
little ones doing tall specimen of migra.
ting all the time. "Not very profi,a.
BILE Office" groaned Jake. as he survey
ed his dilapidated habiliments. '.But a
sworn ofleer must do his duty, and GO
according TO law" ..... .... .... ts.s..-a
lie went it strong-it was nip and
tuck for about quarter, he then gained
and ended the contest by pouncing like
II duck upon June bug nabbiag the
Porker by the organs of hearing. a.
"Hear ye--Hear ye-Hear ye-l
command you TO appear at 8 o'clock on
Saturday next at Jim Parker's grocery
.-(lhe porker was going .her death on
IL in the little matter of brosue, Jake
looked around for the little ones--no,
one Of which was to be seen,) and
bring with you that passel of cussed
pigs, for in the eyes of the law you are
accountable for em. Fail not to appear
under pain, Of the penalty laid down in
the Law books. This is done by me
a sworn officer. as the law Directs E@.
As he had Gone his duty he loosed his
hold, the porker no doubt being account.
able for the appearance of the little ones,
was in SO great hurry to join them, tha,
she got her head bothered with the an.
derstanding Of Jake. sad to relate, "a pill
lar Of the State fell, and great was The
fall thereof. as s,g a.. 5....,.--s
The next day the following was found
sticking on tree:-
'~ NOTICE. '*" ''
At Jim Parker's Grocery at 0 o'clock
on Saturday next, will expose an old
sow, and a passle Of pigs, more or less
who will appear as the Law directs
to be distrained for rent. .
JAKE SHORT, Constable.
MISSISSIPPI, March, 1851. aF1~ 81