Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1851-12-26
HALF NIARRIE

short time since, a party of two young
ladies and two gentlemen visited Squire Cur
lis, at Greenland, and apparently for the pur-
pose of uniting two fond hearts III one. The
prospective groom appeared to be young man
OF sanguIne temperament, whose ruddy cOun-
tenance and glowing eye denoted the near ap-
proach of the happy hour, when his tondest
hopes were to be realized. He thrust hand
Id each pocket, placed the right foot firmly
forward, and. tossing his hat iauntIIy on one
side, gazed first at the Squire, then al his
hearts delight as much as TO say-'rve got
'er!
The lady sat, the picture of health, with an
expression of countenance that told the casual
observer, butter wouldn't melt between her
ruby lips. There could be seen a suspicious
little dImple, however, at each corner of her
mouth, that came and went with every leer OF
pair OF bright, but misunderstanding eyes
sparkling with rOgu5h restlessness-thatt told
her lover, he needn't count his chickens before
they were hatched'
Now, we do not intend, in the absence of
our young friend, Arthur Cannon, to report the
dialogue phonographicaIly; but we shall take
reporters license for detailing the following
dialogue, which was commenced by the Squire,
who approached the parties and enquired IN his
blandest manner, what he could do for his
young friends
Groom What can you do for us!-Why,
a darn'd site Can't he, SaryP
BRIDE,-' Well reckon-if aIl's willin'
c. WilIin'! Why what's up! Amt goin'
TO gin it up noW, hope! You don't mean
20 say shan't get married 9
B.-Oh, no, John, you've come to get mar
Tied, and wouldn't baulk you
c. Good as goold. There Squire-lhere's
70 har -
ting -feW that rival Twitchel's pop-beer-
puts on the harness like a dove So now,
Squire, gear uP your fxens and crack your
whip
SQUIRE RISING Well, if you are in
earnest, can marry you
G.-0mpatiently)-' In earnest! OF course
we're In earnest. Don't PLAYER $3.50 90 into
trap out the service--you know Solomon
says, delays are, dangerous, keep the feet dry
and the head cool. and bid defiance to phvsikers'
B. La! John, there's no use of being in
such hurry
c. Now, Sary, don't say boo till it's over
let i'm driUe. Go at it Squire-hurry up
lhe cakes-moderate, but don't splurge-slow,
but all fred sartGin. Wake snakes wont
Bets Bradford howl, when she hears I'm mar
ried'
The Squire proceeded slowly in the ceremony,
keeping 4 watchiul eve on the intended bride,
whose mysterious manner excited a suspicion
that a screw was loose meWhere. When
however, he came to the response of the groom,
the solemn scene was disturbed by something
like a stentonlan yell
c. Whoop! you better believe it!-Of
course III take 'er-who 'sputs ii What
come here for--hanelewyer May bet your
life on that. Go on, Squire-now give her a
haze
The Squire, in turn, performed the service
which was TO extort a modest acquiescence TO
her lovers wishes; but instead of the precious
words Il wil!' gushing up from the pure f6un,
tain of her maiden heart, distinct NO = blum
ted the senses Of the Squire and groom.
c. Great shakin' ayers Sary-what did
you sayr
b NO' CThe Squire looks perplexed
and Sarah, laughing right out begins to move
off
c. Stand your ground, Sary! Squire
mold err Go on with the serYice-driVe il
threw, and cllnch her on 'tother sde--riyet 'er
row.
B. No you don't. You've no right tc
complain. You wanted to get married and
you are married-bnt I'm not married, ST
pay the Squire and run home before vour
mamma knows your out And away skin,
ped the little jiit, convused with laughter.
c. Great CGser Squire, it's your fault
II you'd only put 'er right threw, and hadn'
stopped TO mlace mIuers ia had err
The groom left with rather a rueful con
tenance, and appeared to he lost in deep meti
tation, which was only disturbed by the merr,
peals ofthe bevy of girls, who saluted him witt
boisterous laughter, short distance from th'
Squlre's-prominent aoInng them, toe, wa
Betsy Bradford. lie is now known a. tin
young man who is hatf hurried.
IN Expensive FEMALE An economist th'
other day observed lady who carried ont