Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1851-05-07


say, if after all my boasting | yield at last
and submit to be led by woman!'
"What agony was visible on my mothers
face. when She saw that all she had said and
suffered failed to move me! She rose to &C
home and followed at distance. She
spoke no more to me till we reached heI
own door. 1T is school time, now, said she.
go nv son, and once more let, me- beseech
you to think upon what have said to you.
{" Il shan't 90 to school, said |.
"She looked astonished at my boldness,
but replied firmly, Certainly, you will go,
Alfred, / command YOU
"'I will not, said |, in tone of defiance.
'One of two things you must do Alfred
either 60 to school this moment; or will
lock you in your room, and keep you there
till you are ready to promise implicit obedi-
ence to my wishes in future
81 dare you to do it, "you can't get me
up stairs"
"Alfred, choose now," said my mother,
and laid her hand upon my arm. She trem-
bled violently, and was deadly pale.
"If you touch me, will kick YOU said
|, IN terrible rage. God knows | knew
not what | said
"Will you 90 Alfredo
"No," replied, but quailed beneath her
eye.
''Then follow me-" said she, and grasped
nv arm firmly. | raised my foot-O, my
son, hear me II raised my foot and kick
ed her-my sainted mother How my head
reels, as the torrent of memory rushes over
me kicked my mother-a feeble woman
my mother! May God forgive me for |
can never forgive myself. She staggered
back few steps, and leaned against the
wall. She did not look at me. | saw her
heart beat against her breast. 80, heaven
ly Father" she cried, forgive him he
knows not what he does p The gardener
Just then passed the door and, seeing my
mother pale and almost unable to stand he
stopped; she beckoned him in. "Take this
boy up stairs, and lock him in his own
room,'' said she, and turned from me-
Looking back, as she entered her room, she
gave me such look-it will forever follow
met was a look Of agony, mingled with
intensest love-it was the last unutterable
pang from a heart that was broken.
an moment | found myself prisoner
in my own room. Thought for moment
would fling myself from the open window,
and dash my brains out, but felt afraid to
die. was not penitent. AT times my heart
was subdued but my stubborn pride rose IN
an instant, and bade me not to yield. The
pale face of my mother haunted me.
flung myself on the bed and fell asleep.
awoke at midnight, stifened by the damp
night air and terrified with frightful dreams
| would have sought my mother at that mo-
ment, for trembled with fear, but my door
was fast. With the daylight my terrors
were dissipated, and became bold in resist
ing all good impulses. The servant brought
my meals, but did not taste them. | tho
the day would never end. Just at twilight
| heard light footstep approach the door
1t was my sister, who called me by name
/ "What may tell mother from you' ?
she asked.
"Nothng," l replied.
30, Alfred, for my sake, for all our sakes
say that you are sorry-let me tell mothel
that you are sorry. She longs to forgive
you."
81 won't be driven to school against my
will, said |.
"But will you go, if she wishes it, dea
Alfred" said my sistes pleadingly.
"No WON'T said l, 'and you needn'
say a word more about it,
"Oh brother you will kill her you vii
kill her, and then you can never have {
happy moment again
II made no reply to this. My feelings
were touched, but still resisted their kint
influence. My sister called me, but wouit
not answer. | heard her footsteps slowly
retreating, and again flung myself on th'
bed to pass another wretched and fearfu
night o, God, how wretched how fear
full did not know.
"Another footstep. slower and feeble
than my sisters disturbed me. A voice
called me by name. 1t was my mothers.
''Alfred, my son, shall come in Are yol
sorry for what you have done" she asked
81 cannot tell what influence, operatins
at that moment, made me speak adverse tt
my feelings. The gentle voice ofmy moth
er, which thrilled through me, melted th
ice from my obdurate heart, and longet
to throw myself on her neck, but did not
No. my boy, did not. But my words gav
the lie to my heart, when said was no
sorry. heard her withdraw | heard he
groan. lohged to call her back, but | di
not.
II was awakened from an uneasy slum
Der by hearing my name called loudly, an
my sister stood beside me. "Get up, AL
fred 0, don't wait minute Getup, an
come with me. Mother is dying"
thought | was yet dreaming, but got u
mechanically, and followed my sister. O
the bed, pale and cold as marble, lay m,
mother. She had not undressed. She ha
thrown herself on the bed to rest; arisin
to 90 again to me, she was seized with
palpitation of the heart, and borne senseles
to her room.
81 cannot tell you my agony as | locke
upon her-my remorse tenfold more bite
from the fact that she would never know il
believed myself to be her murderer. | fe
on the bed beside her. | could not weeE
My heart burned in my bosom my brai
was all on fire. My sister threw her arm
around me, and wept in silence. Suddenl
we saw slight motion of my mothers hane
her eyes unolosed She had recovere
consciousness, but not speech. She locke
at me, and moved her lips. Icould not Ut
derstand her words. "Mother, mother"
slreiked, "say only that you forgive me.
She could NOT saw II with her Inns bI,t he