The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1851-10-02
From The Albany Dachman.
CONGRESSIONAL SKETCH.
HON. zEBEDIAH GREEN.
BY NJ. C. LEWIS.

THE subject Of our sketch made his en-
trance into this comical world, in Green
bush, on Green river, Green county, (chief
exportatons, red-headed pedlars and slab
sided Instructors Of youth, for the western
and southern market,) Green Mountain Sta,e;
and was 'yclept, in short, Zeb., in long, Ze-
bediah Green-though not from any similar
itv between his appearance and the general
name but because Deacon Zeb, in home
spun, with large family, small farm, hick
ory cane, short pipe, aud an Aunt Hity,
with specks, cotton nightcap, checkered
apron, knitting needles, and mackaboy-
were Greens.
Being for exportation, when he arrived at
the standard-six fee, perpendicular and
twice and a-half that number of years-he
was launched upon tho sea of life, with but
little cargo, ye; the hatches open for freight,
like contribution box for change-a camp
meeting made saint perfect in the Ten
Commandments, Almanac, Daboll's Arilh-
metc, English Reader; and good judge of
pumpkin pie, tin fourpences, gingerbread,
jewsharps, seal-skin caps, te-pencils, jack
knife, pocket-bible, and tin trunk of YAM
kee notions.
The vanities ofTthis world, the percenta-
ges on jewelIy, the trouble of the Bible in
his trousers, gin, with sugar in, freckled-
faced man with cards, or witching Eve in
the third tier-perhaps all combined-caus-
ed him 10 make angles, zig gag across, and
soon he was out of the "narrow way" post
ing down the "broad road" at quarter nag
speed
circumstances govern man." A grocery
may make q loafer, camp meeting,
preacher; game of poker widow; a
rich wife, member Of Congress; pock-
marked man with faro, gambler; a fash
ionable education, a fool, and a murderer,
saint. II is the great "First Cause" that
governs Grim. cons presidential elections,
piety, lotteries, lovers, oysters, cholera ca
ses, poverty, long prayers, wooden clocks,
suicides, female purity, and SO on 10 the end
of tho chapter, of all the effects seen in this
farcicai world.
WIN q ph1
organization of the Uranium, giving pre-
disposition 10 change and make "change"
in few years, made him an er-ofcio ped
lar. codfsherman, school teacher, clock
agent, fiat boatman, shaker, dancing master,
poker player, Temperance lecturer. steam
doctor, fortune teller, Mormon, auctioneer,
Methodist minister, and country editor.
When man has Cor his inheritance,
wherefrom 10 extract the wherewith 10 salts
fy the inner man, adorn the outre man, and
other etceteras, in this sLand Of Freedom"
WHEREIN he is free 10 starve, wear patched
pants, drink when asked, run for congress,
Join the church, eat opium, sutler, look
cross.eyed, chew the cud of anticipation,
masticate the "swec tobacco posey,n i'm
bibe buttermilk visit California, scold his
wife, enlist, raise game chickens, believe
patent medicine reports, contribute 10 the
missions, preach, saw wood, and sell pea
nuts; but not to play poker, sell corn juice
with license, take umbrellas, raise row,
run over an apple woman, swear, smoke in
Boston, fish on Sundays. knock down po-
liceman, whistle in church, marry two
wives, pick pockets, call rougue rascal,
win maiden and not annex her, blow up
steamboat or kiss a married lady,) it is ne
cessary for him 10 complete his education
before he can easily extract large per cent
ages from Equitable humanity"
By this time he had graduated in school,
in which the chief studies are "human ma
ture and soft sawder," comicaliiles, humbug,