The southern press. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1851-03-20


WoMEN's TRouBLEs.-We trust that the fol-
lowing article from Punch con the fallaces of the
gentlemen will not recommend Itself to the ex-
perence OF any OF our lady readers; it is so entire
~ overweight and extravagant that il is almost
impossible that it should.
That women born only to be their slaves.
That dinner is to be ready for them the very min
ute they come into the house That lady =
bonnie, can be put on as quickly as a gentleman s
hat That we can dress in minute; and that
ringing bell violently has the effect Of making us
dress one bit the quicker. That they can do eve
rything so much better than we can---from nurs
ing the baby down topoking the fire. That they
are the Lords of Creation ~ prettp Lords, in.
deed That nothing can be too good for them
for am sure ifyou were TO put hot join, before
them every day, that still they would be unaaiis-
fed, and would grumble that you never give them
cold meat That they know our age SO much
better than we do ourselves. ms so perp Ekelu.l
That they may invite whom, and as many as thew
pIease-but il we only invite our mamma to come
and stop with us, or Just a dear unmarried sister
to stop with us for month"; that there is to be no
peace for us as long as they remain in the house
That music can be learnt without PRACTISING.
and that 1t is necessary for them to rush out. and
to siam the door violently, the very moment we
begin 10 open our voices, or to run over the last
new polka. That sleeping after dinner promotes
conversation. That they know what dress and
bonnet becomes us SO much better than we do.
That 1t is necessary to make poor woman cry
because poor shirt button happens TO be of.
declare some men must believe that their wives
cut eff their shirt buttons purposely, from the saw
age pleasure they take in abusing them for il
That we are not allowed to faint, or TO have The
smallest ht OF Mysteries, withor. being told not TO
make fool Of ourselves. That housekeeping
does not require any money, and if we venture to
ask FOR any that 1t is pleasant to be met with all
sorts of black looks and insnuations as to sswhat
we can do with it all !" or very agreeable TO be
told that we will be f'the ruin OF aim some dav -
a should Tie 10 see the dar) That the house never
requires cleaning, or the tables rubbing, or the
carpets beating, or the furniture renewing or the
sofas fresh covers, or, IN fact that nything has
right 10 wear out, or TO be spoilt or broken: and
IN short, that everything should last forever
That poor lone woman is never to have any
pleasure, but always, always to atop at home, and
Himind he's children" q am iirrd qfsuch nonsense y
That the wish to go to the opera is to be a sure
prelude to quarrel. That their daughters can
learn music, painting, playing, dancing, and All
the accomplishments without the all of n sincle
master. That the expenses of ones housebold
do not increase with ones family; but rather that
ten children can be supported Tor the same cost as
one. That no husband is perfect like Hercules
without his club; and that the less wife sees
of her husband, the fonder she actually grows of
him. That It IS pleasure for us to sit up for
them.
Our fair correspondent says she thinks the above
fallacies are enough for the present, and we GER
,alnly agree with her; bat If the gentlemen show
any more of their airs, she declares that she will
give them a lot more.