Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1851-08-21
lDit nnQ Guaror,
Uncle 5ill's First Love.

9lJ UHclc Dill anu AuHI AlTY lesIuco ot'
Long Island not far from tie far-famed re-
sort Rockaway. One evening last week, as
Aunt Airy was boiling some chcsnuts for us
Workers to eat and rs uncle Bill sat smoking
Il good Havana we had brought with us, we
persuaded him to tell us story. Uncle Bill
tells good one when he chooses and being
a man that loves to please, he dipped very
quickly into the merits of the one he proposed
telling somewhat thus:
"When was young man, had occasion
to travel some distance in Il stage coach, as
steamboats, and rail roads were not too plenty
in those days Now ] have heard often of
fcllers talin' in love at first sight, but never
much believed it till that stage made me kin
der think so. had the luck of setting along
side of one of the pretticst women have
ever seen. Uncle Bill looked slyly ut Aunt
Airy.
81 soon fell in love chuck up to the brm
with the gal As it WAS growin' dark The
stage was passin' through thick wood, then
| thought my time was come surely. AS |
felt my strength was goin' quick, | kinder
gently lifted my arm and drew it around the
fair ones waist: she moved not, but only
made slight noise, which l supposed was
love sigh. Says dear one-swect one |
love you will yer love me? The girl said
nothin', but made the noise I supposed was
love sigh again.-I then pressed her 10 me,
and her head fell upon my shoulder and be-
gan to tremblc all over; but still kept my
tongue goin and says |, dear little one won't
yer love mc-can't Yer love me, will yer mar
ry me? The stage just then drove out of
the wood, and the moon slonc OIL her face
and looked on it-and-Gnd-
"And what :" we all exclaimed.
"And'' says Uncle Bill, "shc was slccpin'
and snorin' in my armsm
When our roars of laughter had somewhat
subsidized Uncle Bill, said,
.And there she sits bin' cllcsnuts."
COoI.-Wc have read Of many wonderful
instances of GOODNESS and sang froid exhibit
ted by individuals Oh trying occasions, and
have been surprised to see how the soul
could bear up against the most crushing
blows Of adversely. and in tie hour Of sud-
den and bitter diSappointment but decided
ly the iciest" specimen of nonchalance un-
der allliction that we have met with during
the present season, is the following incident:
A love smitten professor in orc of onr
colleges, after convcrsing while with his
dulcinea on the interesting topic of matri-
mony, concluded ut last with declaration,
and put the emphatic question Of
"Will you have me-"
lam sorry to disappoint you," replied
the lady, "and hope my refusal will not give
yoH pain. Blu: must answer no.
Swell, well, that will do, madam said
her philosophical lover, "and now Suppose
'rc change The sHLjee'."
ABSENCE oF MND.-An Eastern paper
states. that i person WAS found lying on the
pavement, recently, who, upon examination,
it was asccrtaincd,' had, after washing him.
sell. empticd the wash bason in his bed, and
hiresc himself ont Of me vimdom.
Another case, more extraordinary than the
last mentioned occurred recently A man in
crowd feeling i muskecto bite him. leisure
ly stopped down and stratchcd his ncigibor's
lee, rcmarking at the same time. that though
the pain of the bite was considerable, the
pleasure Of scratching amply paid for it.
MEAN-Thc following is Aunt Betsy
description of her milk man :-"lIe is the
lneancst man in the world. lie skins his
milk on the top, and then he turns it over
and skins the bottom. and then he skins the
sides, and then lie divides it into ten parts
carefully skimmng each part"
"CoNE here my little man" said Il gentle
man to IL yomngstcr of four years Of age,
while sitting in a parlor where Il large com
pany were assembled, edo you know me -
"Ycs sir, think do
.Who am then, let me hcar?"
.Iou are the man what kissed sister Jane
last night in the parlor8 Jane tainted
"AIo1lER,' said Il little boy the other day,
"why are the orphans the llappiest children
on earth 2
"They arc not why do You ask!!'
Because they have got no mothers to
spank thcm."
"MASY young lady who objects to be
kissed under the misslctoe, has no objection
TO be kissed under the rose" A stupid COM
posi;or once made an error in the above,
rendering it so us 10 say has no objection
to being kissed under the nosc'"
HArs.-A poetical hat manufacturer. in
one Of our Southern cities, thus concludes
his rlIyming advertisement