Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1851-09-05
THE DAILY SPY.
LUCK AND LUCK.
OR THE MERCHANT AND THE FAF

OR THE MERCHANT AND THE FARMER.
Good morning, friend Hoehand'e.'
'Ah Yardstick am glad to see you. Come
out to smell the fresh air and hear the birds sing,
suppose Well, am glad to you; walk into
the house; Mrs. Hoehande will be most happy to
see city friend; that is if you will not quiz our
style of living We plain country folks are not quite
up to fashion; and it well we are not for we could
not afford it If we WERE All Yardstick, you are
lucky dog-here are, about fifty years old each
OF us, and
Good gracious Hoehande. Why, what can you
mean Why, am but forty, or say lriie over,
and quite young looklng-so they say-at that
Ha ha ha Yardstick, it won't do Still play
ing the beau, | see, but no matter As was say
! ing, here we are. You rich merchant, never did
any work in your life, and l, poor farmer, worked
hard all my days--boys together-sared on Moth
lng-everything in luck, everything in luck
Well, well, Hoehande, you are a modest man,
won't yet go into an argument with you on our
comparative positions in the world; that is will get
through another matter first. | want a thousand
dollars for thirty days, if you have it over
'Haye it over over what, Yardstlck! =
| mean, friend Hoehandle, that if you are not
Short | should like to-the fact is, am out on a
shining expedition, and must raise some money
'Ah | see, have it over-short-shinng-
that you want to borrow, and that must lend you
| am proud to be able to lend you. Want thou
sandwich, hold, let US go through this matter now,
before my good wife comes n-these women always
want to know all that's going on, and she will in
quire if | am indebted TO you. Indebted, ha ha
she would be asonished if John Hoehandle owed
man thousand dolars-hillo don't sigh so, man
what's the matter? Pay Tape, Yardstick g. Co.
There you are, sir, here is the check
Thank you, Hoehandle, here is your note; had
hatO | knp
me-
'As was observing, Yardstick, you city mer-
chants do have easy time of it. Go to New York,
buy your stock, sell at profit, buy again, sell again.
roll up your hundred thousand in few years; and
poor John Hoehandle works like slave six months
out of the twelve, up in the morning at daylight, and
works at least four hours before dinner, and some
times two after dinner, and in harvest time from sun
rise to sunset. Yes, sir, it is fact, and what have
we got to show for it, Why, after thirty years TOLL
sir, have only this farm Of three hundred acres,
worth, perhaps, little bank stock, purchased with
its yearly profits
And pray my good friend, what have you aver
aged per year, clear profits, over all expenditures,
for all this terrible labor for thirty years?
Not over two thousand dollars year, Yards;ick,
while you make ten.'
| Let me see, farm worth nine thousand-thirty
years proft-sxty-nine thousand and large year
| ly income besides; poor fellow-why you are 10 be
pitied.
Il know it, know tall in luck All i'll had
only been merchant
Let me ask, Hoehandle, your products are all
| sold for cash down, | think Never credit out, do
you?'
Credit What, credit grain, wheat Credit my
wool Credit my live stock Excuse me, ha ha /!
You do not know what farming is, see. Oh, no,
sir, our produce is cash. All we raise is cash, at
my door. Why, am plagued to death by produce
buyers, and purchasers Of live stock, wool buyers,
and all the rest Of them, who will gladly advance
me eighty per cent. on my produce here and pay me
the other twenty in thirty days Credit | do not
know the word sir. don't use it. But Yardstick,
they tell me you are rich'
Hoehandle, how will you exchange property with
me, 'unsght, unseen,'' as the boys say; you know
how-how stand-do you, Hoehandle p
Stand, yes, sir; why the firm of Tape, Yardstick
s. Co. good for two hundred thousand atany mo-
ment. They say that you sold that amount last
year alone
True, so we did on paper, and we are north
something handsome too, paper; but, sir, we can
not feed ourselves on paper, nor build houses with
per-
Well, WELL see-all CANNON you dog YOU
You are rich, you know you are. l am sorry that
thirty-fve years ago did not make myself dry
goods clerk; but here am oiling, toiing year at
ter year, and show but little for it, while you sit at
JOui uOSh anu OVuhI uP WechIJ ioOcptS dS tiey
down-yes, fairly rain down upon you. All me,
nothing but farmer, and not worth much at that.
Yardstick, I'll give you my farm and all the balance
of my property, for your share 10 your firm. For all
your property at venture, there!'
My good friend you are really envious Of my
luck as you call it; be frank now, are you?'
Yes, | am, Yardstick. l cant help it. Here it
is only dg-dg-dig. want, before | die, to be
merchant
'And before die, l want to be farmer; SO five
do not exchange property mind you my good friend,
it will be your own fault. Nay don't stare so.'
What What Yardsick, you astonlsh me-
You want to be farmer, ha ha a man good for
hundred thousand before he dies, in splendid bu-
stness, rolling up his pile, to throw away his pros
poets and take hold of the dirty plowhandle- good
loke-ha ha You take my offer then, do your
Hoehandle my friend, sober word or two with
you. l have done businessthirty years. Have sold
millions of dollars worth Of goods Have made
and lost much money. Have credited large stocks
ofg goods out, which myself thought on credit, and
have stood year after year over the brink Of pent-
up volcano, expecting that those who owed me would
explode and blow me TO atoms. Sleepless nights
weary days-headaches and heartaches-constant
fear that could not keep my chin above water
obliged to raise money at high and exorbant rates
Of interest to take up my paper with, because my
debtors were so long wnded In their payments to me
stocks declined in manifestations changing-dis-
honest clerks peculating from my money drawer
Ah my friend, | do not wonder that you stare with
establishment Let me hear you laugh, it is charm
for me. Sunshine sir, merchants heart, if he
r. L. ID a,lh ,,o "A. L.