Burlington hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1845-185?, 1851-06-05
From a South Carolina PaDer.
NeWsnannr Cn1Ie iur

! From a South Carolina Paper
Newspaper Collec ing.
/ MY DEAR SIR--l have Just returned from
! tour through this State. and proceed TO furnish
. you with an account of my labors and their sue
cess. have been gone for three months. and as
sure you, in all sincerity, that am fully satisfied
! l have called upon one hundred and four of them
and have the honor of paying over to your order
three dollars twelve and one half cents, being the
! amount TO which you are entitled. return YOU
the list numbering 70 II, and now give you the
, reply Of each.
lis a minister He says, he never got
one half of the numbers, Ca lie according TO the
account of the Postmaster and then your iokers
! column Is too scurrilous He cant think OF aid
ing to sustain paper that advertises horse races
! and gander puhngs. Besides he knows from the
! tone OF your editorials that you drink and paw
! ing you would only be the means of your ending
your days in the kennel. He wonders at vonr
lmpndence in sending him his bill after publishing
the account OF the great prize fight between Left
Handed Smoke and Battering Bill He wants
! nothing to do with you-never wants to hear
from you again.
No 2-ls in Jail for debt. He has not seen
half dollar for year. SAYS he would nav with
the utmost chccrfuness. if he only had The mon
! ey, but had TO borrow shirt to PIT on last Sum
day. Admires your paper wonderfully and hopes
you will continue sending it TO him. He wishes
/ you to take bold stand in favor of the abolition
! OF Imprisonment for debt, as he thinks il would
! be very popular move with gentlemen in his
situation. II YOU send him any more papers he
/ hopes that you will see that the postage is paid,
: or otherwise he will be unable to ENJOY yOuT lu-
/ cubrations. Sends his best respects
NO. 3's young doctor. Says your paper is
beneath the notice of a gentlemen. Wouldn't
/ give - for cart load. Says Won inserted
! an article rejecting on the profession Only
! wishes he could catch you here-would make you
! smell -. Is going to persuade every body that
takes your paper to stoplt. Curs'd your bill, and
! says yon may collect ii in the best way you can
: No lis an Old maid. Says you are always
taking a fling at single ladies' Of an uncertain
age, wouldn't pay Won if she was rolling in
wealth. and you hadn't cash enough to buy a crust
of bread. Sent all papers she had back month
/ ago. and s.. vs. that she sent them back. she
don't owe You anything. Says she is even with
yon, and intends to keep so until the day of udg-
ment. Asked me hot to forget to tell YOU that
you are no gentleman, or you wouldn't undertake
to siandcr large and respectable class Of the fe-
male population Of the country.
No. SIS d glmblcr-a sporting gentleman
! Says he got completely cleaned out last week at
the races. Couldn't accommodate his grandnoth-
er with half dime Il she was starving. Likes
your paper tolerably like It better If you
published more races and would occasionally
I give account of cock-hght. Liked the descrp-
/ ton OF the prize fight amaZingly--it redeemed a
multitude of your faults. Hopes you won't think
hard of him for not paying you now--bnt has got
prospect OF soon having some loose change as
he IS after rich Young greenhorn wao arrived
here last week. viii pay your bill out of the
pluckings.
No 6-Is an old drunkard Hasn't rot any,
thing, and never expects TO have. Gathered up
all the papers that he had and sold them for a
half pint of rum to the doEgery-keeper TO wrap
groceries in. Wished you would send him pile,
as they cost him no postage, his brother-in-aw
being post master. and permitting him TO take ont
his letters for nothing. Winked at me when |
presented your bill, and inquired if wasn't a
distant relation of the man that butted the bull off
the bridge.
No. lis a magistrate. Swore he never owed
you cent, and told me that was a low rascal
for trying TO swindle him in such barc-faced
manner. Advised me to make tracks in little
less than no time, or he would get out a warrant
against me a common cheat, and have me sent
to prison. Took his advice. Is. by all odds the
mcancst man have seenvet. Will never 90 near
him again.
No. SIS policeman. Says, although you
profess TO publish a neutral paper it is not
Thinks he has considerable squirting to-
wards the side to which he is opposed. Meant
to have told yon year ago 10 stop his paper, but
| forgot it. Tells You to do so now, and thinks
you are getting off cheaplr in not losing more by
! by him. Believes you to be rascal, and Is too
honorable to have anything 10 do with YOU, as IL
might compromise him and inlure his prospects
No. 9-Paid up like a man. The only one
Likes your paper first rate, and means to take and
pay for it as long as you publish it or he lives
Asked me to dinner and treated me like n king
An oasis in the desert, 4 man fit for Heaven!
No. 10.-Is merchant. Expects to break
shortly. must save all his small change. Offered
me pair of brecchcs and a cotton handkerchief
for the debt. Refused him with scorn. Had
long jaw. Threatened TO break my head. Oar
ed him to do it. Threw a hatchet at me. |
lodged it and put out.
Nos. IL and l2-Mean as rot. Had no money
wouldn't pay-didnt owe. | Swore I'd SUE.
Said might sue and be hanged. Cursed MI tho
the little ones and hurried from the big. Never
got the first red cent from one of them.
The foregoing is a true extract from my note
book. | have not succeeded a whit better with
the patrons Of The other publications for which
an agent. as il is impossible to collect from those
who are determined not TO pay. | have said |
have been away three months. ! have expended
in that period two hundred and ten dollars travel
ing. and my commissions amount to eightv-two
dollars and fortv-fve cents. ] am very willing
to do my share towards the PRONUNCIATION of news
but more than that no reasonable man could ask
This business don't exactly suit me-I can't stand
it.
Please accept my resignation and strike my
name from your list of agents | admire vour
paper very much myself, but it would be queer
looking sort of a concern that would come fully
up TO the requirements of everybody. One wants
independence in an editcc-another don't want
any. One wants all sang-another wouldn't
touch journal that contained an irreverent line
with a ten foot pole One sentimental lacka-
daisical Miss in pantalettes wanted nothing but
love poetry, another never read anything but the
marriages.
All kind OF abuse | have 10 bear, too. |
wouldn't mind it so much if they only cursed You
and your paper, but curse me too!-Swindler, ras-
cal. villain, blood sucker. These are some OF the
names they think proper to bestow upon me.
tried fighting for while, and thrashed several of
your patrons, but occasionally got licked like
thunder myself. Once was put in jail for as
sault and battery, and only escaped by breaking
out.
Send me q receipt for the three dollars twelve
and half "ents and believe me yours m despair