Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1851-06-05

cry, which has cast dark shadow over my
whole life, gladly would l exchange all that
the world can offer me for the quiet peace of
mind should enjoy. But no! like this huge
unsightly pile, stands the monument of my
guilt forever.
my mother, being feeble in health. sat
down and beckoned me to sit beside her
Her look, so full of tender sorrow, is present
to me now. | would not sit, but continued
standing sullenly beside. alfred, my dear
son, said she, 'have you lost all love for your
mother q did not treply. 4 fear you have,
she continued; 'and may God help you to see
your own heart, and me to do my duty p
She then talked to me of my misdeeds, of
the dreadful consequences of the course
was pursuing. BY tears and entreaties, and
prayers she tried to make an impression up
on me. She placed before me the lives and
examples of great and good men she sought
to stimulate my ambition. was moved, but
too proud to show it, and remained standing
in dogged silence beside her. l thought,
what will my companions say, if, after all
my boasting, yield at last and submit to be
led by woman 2
what agony was visible on my mothers
face when she saw that all she said and suf-
fered, failed to move me! She rose to go
home, and | followed at distance She
spoke no more to me till we reached her own
door.
1T is school time now,' said she. SO my
son, and once more let me beseech you to
think upon what have said
| shan'tgo to school, said |.
She looked astonished at my boldness, but
replied firmly, certainly you will go, Alfred;
| command you
i will not said |, in a tone of defiance.
'One of two things you must do, Alfred
either go to school this moment, or will lock
you in your room, and keep you there, till
you are ready to promise implicit obedience
to my wishes in future
i dare you to do it, said 1; 'you can't get
me up stairs
alfred choose now,' said my mother, who
laid her hand upon my arm. She trembled
violently and was deadly pale.
IF you viii touch me, will kick yoa, SAID
in terrible rage. God knows knew not
what | said.
'Will you go Alfred 2
mo | replied, but quailed beneath her
eye
Then follow me, said she, as she grasped
my arm firmly. raised my foot-O, my son,
hear mel raised my foot, and kicked her
my sainted mother How my head reels, as
the torrent of memory rushes over me-
kicked mother-a feeble woman-my moth
er! She staggered back few steps, and
leaned against the wall. She did not look at
me. | saw her heart beat against her breast
'Oh heavenly Father she cried, forgive him,
he knows not what he does.' The gardener
just then passed the door, and seeing my moth
er pale and almost unable to support herself,
he stopped; she beckoned him in. Take this
boy up stairs and lock him in his room,' said
she, and turned from me. Looking back, os
she was entering her room, she gave me such
look-it will forever follow met was a
look of agony, mingled with the intensest love
it was the last unutterable pang from a
heart that was broken.
'In moment found myself prisoner in
my own room. | thought, for moment, /
would fling myself from the open window,
and dash my brains out, but felt afraid to die
| was not penitent. At times my heart was
subdued, but my stubborn pride rose in an
instant and bade me not TO yield. The pale
face of my mother haunted me- flung my
selfon the bed and fell asleep. I;woke at mid
night stifened by the damp night air, terrif-
with frightful dreams would have sought
my mother at that moment, for | trembled
with fear, but my door was fast. With the
daylight my terrors were dissipated; and be-
come bold in resisting all good impulses
The servant brought my meals, but did not
taste them. | thought the day would never
end. Just at twilight heard light footstep
approach the door. 1t was my sister, who
called me by name
What may tell mother from you!' she
asked.
Nothing replied.
%, Alfred, for my sake, for all our sakes,
say that you are sorry-let me tell mother
that you are sorry. She longs to forgive
you
4 won't be driven to school against my
will said l.
'But you viii go if she wishes it dear AL
fred said my sister pieadingly.
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