The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1851-03-20
From tie l4lbamy Dattkmon.
Crumbs for All Kinds Of Chickens.

From tie 1lbany Dutekmon. !
Crumbs for All Kinds Of Chickens.
UNNAruRAL-What We deem unnatural,
very frequently means only such acts as are
stnustal. It would be considered at the
present time an unnatural piece Of oppres-
sion for US to hang Quakers because they
praise God with their hats on, and yet the
time has been when the quakew were as
regularly strung up for this offence, as oni-
ons were-,he act not being considered un-
natural, but comnendable. We think can
ibalism unnatural, and yet if we had par
taken Of broiIed Clergymen as often as the
South Sea Islanders have, it is quite likely
that we should look upon the act as the only
beneficial mode Of obtaining religious in
struction. 1t is not the wickednsss OF acts
which makes us look upon them with hor-
ror, but their urtashionableness. 1t was
once considered unnatural for women to
produce soortion; there are colleges in N.
yesx at this very moment, the professors of
which teach child murder as science.
What pity that pleasure can't be multi.
piled in the same ratio that pain can. The
man that gets dollar day will find bis FIVE
dollars for the same quantity of time. In
crease his income, however, from FIVE dol
lars a day to ten, and you will no. add to his
happiness particle. As five dollars day
will get person all the comfort he can pos.
sibly desire, any increase of that income
will add to his troubles rather than to his
pleasures or conten,ment. Surplus wealth
brings real estate, real estate litigation;
which litigation very frequently ends in bro
ken sleeps, loss of appetite, bad digestion,
melancholy and suicide.
A young gentleman, in describing the of.
fects of his first waltz, says he thought he
was gong to heaven on . band of music.
For fifteen minutes he appeared to be SWIM
ming in a sea of rose leaves, with blue
angel This soon changed he says, to de
lirium of peacock feathers, IN which his
brain got so much mixed up with low neck
ed frocks, musk aud melody, tha. he has fed
on flutes ever since.'
"Unrequited affection" has very depres-
sing effect on the spirits. We care not how
much of an exquisite youth may be, lie,
him 'get the mitten," and his contempt for
bears grease will know no bounds. His care
of his boots will also undergo change,
while his disregard for public opinion will
be 30 exalted, that he won't care a "cuss'
whether bis trousers are broken or not.
! A large portion of eur happiness springs
from ignorance rather than from knowledge
To make an evil endurable, all that's neces.
sary is to be unconscious OF anything better
To those who have not seen oysters, CLAIMS
are considered the best of shell fsh-whlle
"prepared cider" is just as good as cham.
pagne 10 those who have never "hearn tell''
of Heidsick.
II is obedience that enslaves men, not ty.
ranny. Nero would have been as powerless
as root beer had he not been made formida.
BILE by the cowardice Of ths Romans To re-.
duce the Sultan TO suppliant, all that's re-.
quired is to have Turkey say ri WON'T" some
day, and stick TO it.
A bill to suppress bronchitis will be intro.
duced, BY Senator Schoonmaker, on Tues.
day next. Senator Babcock has also given
notice that he will, on some future day
bring in bill Incorporating The "vesuvius
salve," for the eradication of cutaneous and
other eruptions--poliiical as yell as social
Price shillings box, label inclusive. A
gents supplied by calling on the Senator, al
his rooms.
The virtue which resists temptation ia
most noble, but that which flies from it most
secure. Morality is all very well, Mr.. Fer
guson, but good pair Of legs is far prefera.
BILE. Insuring your house is good way to
guard against conaagration having no
fire in or near it, is, however, still better
The bes, of insurance Offices may ''bust
Fault finders are the great pioneers Of pro.
gression. Things which are not censuerd,
are never improved Had nobody ever at.
tackled srage travelling, railroads would new
er have been dreampt Of A contentea mind
is very well for an individual, perhaps; to
benefit a community, however, give US the
ill-natured devil who spends his whole life
in abusing things.
Old Gent Waiter.
| Waiter. What sirs
| Old gent. A mackerel salad.
Waiter. Hev thing else, sira
Old Gent. Yes broiled cocktail in the
shell.
The love of obstinacy is so great in the
human family, that we actually believe that
if the Legislature should make it penal to
help men in distress, the number of Howards
that would spring up in the community
would be equal to the felons. Put man on
the free list, and his desire TO visit theatres
| falls TO zero in a moment
"Please, Doctor, Iwant to get three cents
worth Of hoppodeldock and a ashillings' worth
Of McCaskey Oil, mixed separate
Certainly, my dear; blow your nose" Z
Among the curiosities lately added to the
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