The southern press. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1851-03-19

where the rods were paid ior.) must hsve copl
his PsFenta good sum. Where would yop hnd
any but an accomplished classical scholar 70 CON-
pare the books Of the present (or, indeed, any
0thor) writer to saTdOnc divings after the
pearl Of truth. whose lustre Ia eclipsed In the
display Of the diseased oyster mere Billingsgats
does Mt turn out oysters like these they are Of
the Lucrine lake this satirist has picked his
rods in Latin brine Fancy, not merely diver
but sardonic diver; and the expression of bis
COMPOUNDED countenance on discovering moi
only pearl, but an eclpsed pearl, who was in
a diseased oyster say it is only by an uncom.
mon and happy combination Of taste, genius
and industry, that man can arrive at uttering
such sentiments in such fine language--thai
such man ought to be we'll paid, as have no
doubt he is, and that he is worthily employed
to write literary articles, in large type, in the
leading Journal Of Europe. Dontwe want men
Of eminence and polite learning to sit on the
literary bench, and to direct the public opinion
But when this profound scholar compares me
to scavenger, who leaves a copy Of verses al
his door, and begs for Christmas-box, must
again cry out, and say My dear air, it il true
your simile is offensive, but you make it out
Are you not hasty in your figures and illusions =
If might give hint to 20 consummate rhe.
torician, you should be more careful in making
your figures figures, and SMILES like: for in.
stance, when you talk OF a book Swelling the
tide of exharation incident to the inauguration
Of the New Year." or Of book bearing the
stamp of its origin in vacuity," &c.--or of a mar
diving sardonically; or Of pearl collapsed in the
display of a diseased oyster-therc ARE some
people who will not apprehend your meaning
some will doubt whether you had a meaning
some even will question your great powers, ant
say, " Is this man TO be critic in newspaper
which knows what English, and Latin too, ant
what sense and scholarship are I" don't quar-
rel with you--I take for granted your wit ant
learning, your modesty and benevolence-bu
why scavenger-Jupiter Jeames--why scaven
ger? A gentleman, whose biography the Er
aminer was fond of quoting, before he took hi,
present serious and orthodox turn, was pursued
by an outraged wife to the very last stage of hi,
existence with an appeal almost as pathetic
All, sir, why rcavenger?'
How can be like dustman that rings for
Christmas-box at your hall-door? | never wal
there in my life. Inever left at your door copy
of verses provocative Of an annual gratuity, n,
your noble honor styles it. Who are you?
you are the man | take you to be- it was yor
who asked the publisher for my book, and not
who sent it in, and begged gratuity of YOU
worship. You abused me out of the TYmes
window; but if ever your noble honor sent me
gratuity out of your own door, may mover
drive another dust-cart "Provocative of gra
tuity!" o splendid swell How much was Il
your worship sent out to me by the footman
Every farthing you have paid | will restore tc
your lordship, and swear shall not be half
penny the poorer.
AS before, and on similar seasons and occa-
sions, have compared myself to person fol
lowing not dissimiar calling, let me suppose
now, for a minute that am writer of Christ
mas farce, who sits in the pit, and sees the per-
Torrance of his own piece. There comes ap.
pause, Kissing, yawning, laughter, as may be-
but the loudest critic Of all, is our friend the
cheap buck, who sits yonder and makes his re-
marks, so that all the audience may hear. a7His
farce y says Beau Tibbs, denny it's the
work Of poor devil who writes for money!
confound his .vulgarity This farce Why
isn't it a tragedy, or comedy, or an epic poem
slap my vitals This farce, indeed! IFS q
Teller as sends round his at and appeals to
charity. Let's ave our money back again, | say.
And he swaggers off; and you find the telIo,t
came in ioith an authors order.
But II, In spite OF llbbs, our "kylnd friends,
&C., &C., &c.-if the little farce, which wa
meant to amuse Christmas Cor what my classi
cal friend calls Exodus) is asked for, even up t,
Twelfth Night--shall the publishers stop be
cause Tibbs is dissatisfied? Whenever tina
capitalist calls to get his money back, he MAJ
see the letter from the respected publisher, in
forming the author that all the copies are sold
and that there are demands for a new edition
Up with the curtain then! Vivat Regina ant
no money returned, except the Times "gra
tuityw M. A. TITMARSH.
JAN. 8, 1851.