The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1851-12-25

Il. showrnan, what's tha. y,

He swings by the tail ill he gets the appo-
plsxy, when he falls into swoof, Iiule of
the boil. He came from New Holland,
where he feeds on nuts and ether vegetables
of the animal kingdom, which grows spon,a-
neously IN the desolate rigion. He was
brought to this country as a present from the
Caliphof Bagdai 10 General Jackson, and
was deposited in the archires Of The govern
ment till he was trsns!aied into this here co.,
lection Of Natural History, by, the author Of {
the Stuffed Zebra. Walk in, gentlemen and
ladies, and see what you shall see. Admis-
sion 20 cents--no hextra charge for blind
people. Children half price-no peepin'
over the fence. Lille boy, get OF that carl.
Turn thai horgun, Bill, here comes gteens
'un1 s.afe
"please sir, lend poppy Jour knife to mako
a pen with"
Certainly, my son, here it is"
Youth reiires with tho knife, and returns iii
about an hour. -
"Please sir, here's your knife; poppy's
done with t.n 3f
~ should think he was. Why, what the
devil has he been doing with il! Thought
he wanted il to make pen 90
$50 he did; but forgot TO say i, was
pig-pen."
Exit youth little in advance of an old
boot
The author Of the Hexsgonal Syrup, has
| just invented a new salye sfor taking out
fre.p A gentleman who ''bum, his fingers''.
in specuiating in cotton, says shilling's
wo rth got up 'such reaction il, his feelings,
that he went into Wall street and SO comern-
ed on Harlem railroad stock, that in less
than an hour he was as whole as ever. s5
Pous invalids are always worse on Mon
day than any other day of the week. The
cause of this, is the bad air they meet with
in most of our churches on the Sabbath. A
physician of our acquaintance says he never.
cured man of consumption, who persisted
in going "regularly TO meetingp Here's a
fact that our architects aud divines would do
well 10 dwell on.
That California is certainly great place.
correspondent at San Francisco writes us
that he has seen bseis as big as lamp posts,
while the commonest kind of cats ssmeasure
as big" as New-York carrots, and are slced
up for tea like our white radishes.-That
young gentieman has either seenaa groat
deal, or else "he's some" on lying.
Doobs says people would live longer, if
they were not afraid of dying. The very
means we take to "prevent catching coh,"
is the very means that bring about consump-
lion. Fire-heated sleeping. do more
towards keeping up the value Of drugs and
hearses, than all the wet feet that ever wa.
ped
DR.. March says the best cure for Mysteries
is 10 discharge the servant girl In his opin-
ion, there is nothing like Hfying around" to
keep the nervous system from becoming un-
strung. Some women think they wan, ply
sician, he says, when they only need scrub
bing brush.
"Mr. Jones, you said you were connected
with the fine arts. Do you mean by that
that you are scnlptor!n
"No, sir, don't sculp, myself, but fip-
nish the stone 10 the man what doesn
Jones. mas be looked upon as distant re-
lalon Of the Chisel family.
The poetry signed rPasanius,D has been
received. We regret to say that not a man
in the office can read line Of it. The au4
thor is somewhat connected, we should
| think, with our friend Deodatus Wright, the
Recorder Of Albany, gentlemen who
writes three different hands. Oae stranger
can't read--one his clerks can't read--whiie
the third is so scrawled that he can't read il
himself The 'poe,rynis, of course, sub
| iect 10 the draft Of the owner.
RATHER EouIvocAL -Smithers, in speak
| ing of one OF the etherials connected With
The Broadway Theatre, says she is as beau
| tilul as spring, and almost as veidant Who
is Smiihers driving at now2
TIME AND TiDE,--Once these agents wait
ed for nobody, now nobody waits for lhem.
The telegraph ouistrips the one, while the
iron horse enables us 10 dispense with the
other
In riding on "lhc rail, !" always take seat
Just in the rear Of a fat old gentleman. In
case of collision. he breaks the hurt won-
derfully
Men, like, roosters, were made for protec-
tors. Let an accident happen on a railroad,
and in less than minute every woman in
the cars viii be huggng the breath out of
come masculine or other. In time Of dam
ger, the sex will have no confidence 10 any
thing but corduroy.
The lemon-scented nincom2oos of Brook
lyn give grand ball week after next Mar
ayers Squirt & Brothers, Of the Dry Goods
Clerks Association.
Williamsburg offers premiam Of $500
for the bes, way of making bread, ESQ that
il will Iast.n The following recipe we have ,
always found successful Buy sour -four,
and lei those who are "a. .eatits see a dirty-nose
girl make il into rolls