Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1851-03-28

| am naturally active and aspiring, with
strong social feelings and literary tastes
| My husband is one Of the multitude
| He seeks in wife .the qualities of a
housekeeper, and the virtues of a spaniel.
He does not wish. he will not accept
from me intellectual companionship; and
Indeed, we are too dissimiar 10 harmon
ize, for while mine is the world of imag.
nation, his is the world of fact. Kind
in all outward regards. he yet has very
ht,le respect for my sex. and delights TO
make me feel how much he excels me
IN strong common sense, and | some
lines think that were onr inner lives laid
open could no more span the breadth
of his nature than lie would be able TO
gauge the depth of mine. Our location
is IN quiet country village, whose SIM
pie denizens are beneath cnmpanionship
and above compassion. Meantime, the
problem to be solved is this +: wta, shall
| do with the world within, the wnrld of
high thoughts, aud bright tancies, and
restless aspiraiions! My heart is like
a siagnant pool. The incidents of my
quiet life ruffle its surface, hut have no
power to penetrate its depths. Beneath
lis green, still winters. breed the noxious
reptiles of envy and discomfort. 1t is
no Bethesda at the best, and were it not
troubled by the Angel of Atllic,ion il
would become positively malarious.-
! know that am enduring discipline
appointed by One infinitely wise and kind,
aud | am learning resignation. | accept
my doom. lris not what have pic,u-
red to myself, hut nobler souls, adorned
with far richer gifts than mine, have been
parakers to still greater extent of the
baptism of suffering. The cup that my
Father bath given me will drink
"Take," said the Sybil, ga budding
leaf of laurel, and complete thy half
won conquest" F saef
Pursuing our walk we approached a
man in the prime of life, and The perfec.
tion of manly beauty. Fortune had
7 been lavish of her gifts TO him, tor that
commanding form was the temple of a
most accomplished mind; winning ad
dress gave him popularity, and an easy
competence permitted the indulgence OF
an exquisitely iasliiieous taste. A beau
! 'iII land high bred lady presided at his
table, and children of rare promise clus-
i tered around his freside. Surely if he
4 was a conqueror il must be because con-
quest was easy, and the green crown
aud glimmering star were lightly won.
Yet We read thus .. ... s..
'.Admired and envied! God knows
there are few more deserving of com
/ passion! am sick of the aduation OF
my friends. Like the sweet English
poetess .iave | not tried, and striven, and
lalleds And yet what brilliant hopes
were nine. In ihe flush of my ardent
youth, when frs, met Clara Monigom-
cry, was she a magnificent creature!--
So beautiful, so gifted, so haughtily in,
. different TO the opinions of others, So
winningly deferental to my own. She
reigned the queen of brilliant circle
but received their willing homage with
playful disdain. and kept her coveted
smiles for me alone. was proud oI
her ,riumphs. her queenly hauteur, heI
dainty expressed contempt. knew no.
then that a regard for opinion is The on.
/ ly sentiment that can take the place
even outwardly, of the restraint of reli
gious principle, and III the latter qualify
fear she was not more deficient thar
myself. Her wealth needed not, OF
only reioiced that il enabled me to d,
her justice. l wooed and won her, and
was miserable. Her restless nature rev
elled in excitement. She had no taste
for the quiet delights of home. Proud
'mperlous, and exacling, even my deer
devotion failed to satisfy her. Her re.
proaches embiltered my life. remon
strated and she slormed; censured ant
she, spu:ned me. My reasoning was
met BY passion, and my submission, by
contempt She accused me OF marry
ing her from mercenary motives, and
Indignantly responded Take your owr
course, Madame. Hereafter we are two!
From that honr she has made i, the bus
mess of her life to thwart and annoy me
and he needs not to be envied who is a.
miserable as quick wiIled and accom-
/
plished woman can make him. Hel
contempt Of opinion makes her deligl.
in exposures TO which / am nervously
sensitive, and yet she has The tact to ap
pear herself the injured party, and ever
hints that she has but too much reason
10 doubt my conjugal fidelity. / an
too happy even thus TO veil part of ,ht
scandal of my freside. For myself
do not ask, | will not accept of pity
Even the sweet compassion of the softe
sex will renounce, though | know i
nigh, be easily won. With stern pu
riiy for which the world will never CIV,
credit, will shnt my heart within ,hs
walls of the temple once hallowed By
her Image, and mourn my los, IDEAL
Though henceforth a husband onl, il
name, the duties of a father and a ci,i
zen yet remain, and in the discharge
of these may expia,e the fatal rashnes,
of my youth, that sinned so cruelty a
gainst ITSELF ~ ~
Wear what thou hast won," exclaim
ed the Sybil. as she held forth the badg,
OF conquest, "my search is ended"
1 ~ The Chinese have an ayion1. am