Burlington hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa) 1845-185?, 1851-12-11
Tue Ludicrous Sides Of Life,

|
mind escapes from seemingly hopeless dilemma.
sWorth all the sestments Of dignity the world
| holds. 1t was this readiness i'm repartee which
continually saved Voltaire from social oyerturn.
He once praised another writer very heartily to
third person. alt is very strange" was the
| reply, "that you speak so well of him, for he
| SAYS that you are charlatan." "Oh.' replied
'o'a're,"l think very likely that both ofus may
be mistaken"
Again, you must all have heard the anec,lote
OF the young gentleman who was discoursing
! very dogmaticalv about the appropriate sphere
OF woman. Sand pray, SIR" screamed ont an
old lady, "what is the appropriate sphere Of wo-
man "A celestial sphere, madam"
Robert Hail. did not loose his power Of retort
even IN madness. A hypocrit'cal eonloler with
his misfortHnes once visited him in the madhnuse.
and said in whining tone, What brought you
here, MIR iall?" Hall Significantly touched his
brow with his finger, and replied, ''What will
never bring Won sir---too much brainr'
rapid change from enthusiasm to noncha-
lance IL often necessary in society. Thus, per-
sen eoqnantly euioE;sng the angelic qualities Of
Joan OF Arc, was asked, "what was Joan of Arc
made OFF," ''She was NJ nd of Orleans"
Yankee is never upset by the astonishing. .--
He walks among the Alps with his hands in his
pockets, and the smoke Of his cigar is seen among
the mists of Niagara. Oae OF this class sauntered
into the office of the lightning telegraph and as
ked how long it would take to transmit mess
are to Washington. ''Iea minutes" was the re-
ply. | can't wait was his reioinder.
Sheridan never was without reason. never
failed TO extricate himself in any emergency by
his wit. At country house. where he was once
on visit. an elderly maiden lady desired to be
his companion in walk. He excused himself
at first on the ground ofthe badness of the wealth
er. She soon after detected him in a sly attempt
TO escape without her. ,Well,' she said, 'it is
n. I . &.
has cleared up enough for one, but not enough for
two @
II was this readiness wh.ch made John RAN
dolph so terrible in retort lie was the Therstes
of Congress. tongue stabber. No hvparho'e of
CO n'empt or scorn could be launched against him
but he could overtop it with something more
scornful and contemptnous. Opposition only
maddened him into more brilliant bitterness
Isn't it shame. Mr. President said he one day
in the Senate 'that the noble bulldogs OF the ad-
minlstratfon. should be wasting their precious
time in worrying the rats OF the opposition.'--
Immediately the Senate was in an uproar. and he
was clamorouslv called to order. The presiding
officer. however, sustained him and, pointing his
| long. skinny finger al his opponents. Randolph
screamed ont, Rats. did say?-mice, nicer
Ma WEBsrER's SpzEcuEs-An edition Of Mr.
Webstef's speeches and ORATORS. TO be comprised
in six octave volumes is now in course Of pre-
pnratlon. The work is to be preceded by a
sketch of The authors life from the pen Of Ed
ward Everett, than whom there is not more
competent person for the task in the conntry.-
Mr. We5ster's speeches are, beyond all question,
better calculated for preservation than those of
/ ally other American statesman. No man has ap-
pearea in oar Government whoi in al the quail
! ties o. mind the equal OF Mr. Webster. Others
! have had more genius. but no one has eqnaliet
| him in general breadth and capacity, scholarship
| and requirements, and the power OF graspng with
the grip Of giant NIL the relations Of great sno-
ject, and OF ntering vast thoughts in style both
| mass;ve and manly.
He is the best speaker Of genuine Stxo9-Eng.
! lSh in the world. Dyctor Johnson advised stu
! dents who desired 10 write English with clear
ness and elegance 10 give their days and nights
! to Aiisoa; bat if student wishes to become
acquainted with all the resources Of the Englsf
tongue, iet hiu study Webster Instead Of Add
! son. W. regard the speeches of Mr. Webster as
sup arior to those of Burke, or any other states
man that England o. America has proinced.-
Thcy are we'll worth publishing, and are destined
| to live and enjoy impershable renown, whilcthe,
| Illustrate and enrich what will hereafter be con
. siderci the early history Of American statesman
/ ship. The reply t. Hayue is the best speech eve
delivered. There is none OF the speeches of De-
mosthenes. Cicero, Burke. or any other grea
orator, Of ancient or OF modern times, that will
! compare with that celebrated effort. II is
beyond all Greek, beyond all Roman fame.'
| II Louisville Journal.