The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1851-02-15
How Mr. Pipkin bowed himself

DILL lfhlN ldul Deen married very
long and hadn't quite got out of the hal
it of taking little punch at drinking
frolics with his old friends on particn-
lar occasions. He was first rate at ma
king excuses for staying out all nights
now and then; he was terribly pressed
with business, as he took very good care
never TO come home cross-legged, his
wife never suspected anything, and all
went on very we'll. One nj ght, howev-
ever, Bill got rather more than he could
carry straight but he didn't find it ont
until he was on his way home. He
wouldn't have Susan know he was in
such a situation for the world, and he
began thinking, as well as he could with
his head spinning round so, what was
best to be done to keep her from finding
him out.
"Hic-l've got it 'zactly," said he
(hic) Su-Susan knows Pm (hic) terribly
f-fond of m-milk. Well, I'll jest take
big (hic) that fix all right-so (hicl sh-
she'll never suspect nothin', poor gal.
Home he went, practicing straight
walking on the way and studying in
his mind how he should talk straight, SO
that Susan would not find him out.
When he found the latch, which was
on the wrong side of the door, which
opened the wrong way too he felt round
in the dark for more doors than were
ever in the house before, and got into
r-so-many-shaped rooms, till he found
the pantry, where he expected 10 find
some milk. He had no very clear idea
as to where it ought to be; so after feel
ing about in every place but the right
one, he came to the conclusion to go to-
his room and ask his wife where it was.
The stairs seemed to be turned upside
down and the bedroom changed places
with the kitchen, but he made out at
last to find the room.
After clearing his throat, and saying
over his speech so that he could not
make any mistake, he opened the door
and leaning against the door post listen
ed to ,ar if his wife was awake. She
was sound asleep.
"All the better for that" thought he.
-"Susan! Susan!" said he very low
and plain.
och Z" said Susan just waking out of
a doze. SIS that you come home my
dear, so late !"
"Susan Susan ~ said Bill, not pay
ing any attention to what she said-his
head being full of milk; Susan
"What my dear y
els there any milk in the house 7"
ayes dcar--but what in the world"
"Susan Susan"
"What dear p
"Whar is the milk I"
ain the pantry, in the dining room,
dear. But you had better come to bed
now it's So"
Bill didn't say word, but took some
terrible long steps in the dark. He
found the dining room again and the
pantry, but he couldn't find the milk
anywhere. After trying for about five
minutes he went up stairs and leaning
against the door to steady himself, asked
his wife again.
"Susan Susan!'' said he, very en-
phatically.
"Eh-what - said she, waking up
again.
"Is there any milk in the house 2
81 told you there was some milk in
the pantry dear
Down went Bill again. This time he
felt every where and upset every thing,
making terrible racket among the
crockery: but not drop of milk could
he find.
"Cuss the milk ~ said he; whar could
they put it %
In minute he was at the bedroom
again.
:'Susan Susan,' said he.
Susan snufiled the snore short off in
the middle,
"Wh at!' said she rather cross this
time.
sIs there any milk in the house =
eyes told you'll"
"Well, whar is it 7" said he.
81 told you on the shelf-in the pam
try-in the dinin'room" said Susan
breaking it off into short mouthtul of
italic.
That rather scared Bill, put him off
his guard.
"Well Susan" said he, "is 1t tied up
IN anything, or lyim' about loose !"
This was enough-the cat was out of
the bag, and no help for it. Mrs. Pipkin
was bright awake in minute, and the
way Bill got "Caudle' that night " -. as
enough to sober the drunkene"' husband
in c. cation. He never. got corned again
and was more than year after
wards before ne could drink milk IN
his coffee, when Susan was at the table.
A FOOLS tongue. like nonkey's tail.