Spirit of the age. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1849-1865, 1851-05-30
Written for the Spirit of the Age.
JOE'S SINS.

o1 OOb, "A JEhoE1 MULE T.
Mr.. EDITOR: / have a mind to be Joe as is
Joe. You don't understand me, l suppose =
Well, you see that l can keep a secret. You
and indeed your readers, DO not, and never
will know who | am. My mamma alone knows
who and what | am. She says she never will
divulge the secret. Nc one knows where l live
and if any body knows of my residence, it
will be certain death to me. The sins which |
have committed, and am still committing, are
such as are certainly not to be tolerated in the
land of Puritanical morality. Since l am to-
tally unknown and therefore beyond the reach
of punishment, l have taken the liberty of
sending the following letter to the Spirit of the
Age for publication:
Ihave murdered-yes, murdered many frogs
and eaten them raw. l declare the flesh of the
frog is a delicate meat. AS soon as / see a
frog peeping its head above the water, 1 throw
a stone at it, striking its head off, and take the
headless animal out ofthe water. / skin it and
then fall 10 devouring it. think with rapture
of the approaching time when | shall have the
/, privilege of feasting or these amphibious ami
mails. Surely there's a good time come, COM
e ing.
| have poisoned multitudes of flies to death.
My room, which is heated from sunrise until
late at night. is not unfrequently crowded with
e flies. Not liking the liberties which they take
with me, l kill them by giving arsenic on pre-
1t tence of friendship. | make my domestic
sweep the dead flies away every morning.
I have slaughtered myriads. of hogs and pigs
J. to crafty the cravings Of my appetite. must
A. confess that / have often felt regret that l have
wilfully killed SO many things moving upon the
\ globe. l fear | am too old to undo what 1 have
is done.
My money has, in many instances, gone tt
,e eating ard drinking, when it should have beer
given to the poor. l neither visit the sick
We clothe the naked, feed the hungry, nor givt
the thirsty a drink of water. sometime
take clothes at second hand, but when | do no
like then, / never give them to those whom
NJ know to be the deserving objects of charity =
" What do l do with themf you ask. VIII,
a. SIR, / burn them up! What administer
more exquisite pleasure to the optical sens
so than the picturesque dances of a flame?
| read a great deal-at least as much as you
es- / do not buy the papers, but ~contrive to DO,
nd rOuo them. 1t makes me laugh to think tha
nd ALL the papers which ] had borrowed, hav
nd been returned to their owners, in a mutilate
zee state. make a point of pretending to tax
for no notice of these foolish lenders when l met
them in the streets, at the opera, or somewher
L OtcI OOFTOW anu T0luTH money, Uul COl
triye to discount it a little for example, l civ
six cents in copper in exchange for 6 IA cent
restricting the IA to myself.
am acquainted with uncounted numbers
OF married ladies. When they make visits,
hat generally attend them in the absence of the
had husbands and while acting the part of
Sat humble attendant on them, l am always sure
by make them squeeze M hands and wet my Ii
VS. with kisses.
ne / talk sometimes by motions, and sometir
line by writing with single ladies, pretty and hon
pen y. l occasionally (not always pull their rir
IN off from their fingers and scratch them, a
the thus destroy the " effect of their beauty -
n object being to e,yoy their v~exation. l like
mem see them pout. like to see, or rather h
sad them stamp their feet on the floor Indee
EN- like that kind of noise. 1t sounds like the f
1oer ing of tears. 1 must be allowed to hear i
shoP gain, or l will shake the house to its very 70
Dl- dation with cries. You know, or ought
put know, that a mute can stun your ears with
N De THUNDER of his mouth.