Glasgow weekly times. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1848-1861, 1851-09-04
The Philosophers Scales,

The Philosophers Scales
In days Of yore as Gothic fable tells,
When learning dimly gleam'd from grated cells,
When wild Astrology's distorted eye,
Shun'd the fair FIELDS of true philosophy
And wandering thro' the depths of mental night
Sought dark predictions mid the worlds of light
When curious Alchymy with puzzled brow
Attempted things which science laughs at now
Losing the youthful purpose she consults
In vain chimeras and unknown results
In those grey times there lived a reverend sage
Whose wisdom shed its light on the dark age
A monk he was, immur'd in cloisterd walls
Where now the ivy'd ruin crumbling falls;
Twas profound seclusion that he chose;
The noisy world disturbed not that repose;
The flow of murmuring waters day by day,
And whistling winds that forced their tardy way
Through reverend trees of ages growth, that made
Around the pile deep monastc shade;
The chanted psalm or solitary prayer
Such were the sounds that broke the silence there
Twas here when his rights sacerdotal were DER,
In the depth of his cell with his stone covered
floor,
Resigning to fate his chimerical brain
He forn'd the continuance we now shall explain,
But whether by magic's alchymy's powers,
We knew not-iudeed 'tis no business of ours.
Perhaps it was only by patience and care,
At last that he brought his invention to bear.
In youth twas projected but years stole away
And ERE twas completed he was wrinkled and
grey.
But success is secure unless energy fails,
And at length he produced the Philosophers Scales
"What were thev?' you ask-you shall presently
see;
These scales were not made to weigh sugar and
tea
o MOI for such properties wondrous had they,
That qualities, feelings, and thoughts they could
weigh,
Nought was there so bulky but there it could lay,
And nought so ETHEREAL but there it must stay,
And nought so reluctant but in it must go,
All which some examples more clearly will show.
The first thing he weighed was the head Of Vol
taire,
Which retained all the wit that had been
there
As a weight he threw in torn scrap of leaf,
Containing the prayer of the penitent Thief
When the skull rose aloft with so sudden spell
That il bounced like ball on the roof of the cell.
One time he put in Alexander the Great,
With garment that Dorcas had made for weight,
And though clad in armour from sandals TO crown
The hero went up and the garment went down.
A long row of ams-houses amply endowed
By a well esteemed Pharisee busy and proud,
Next loaded one scale-while the other was pres'd
By those mites the poor widow dropt into the chest
Up flew the endowment not weighing an ounce;
And downtown the farthng's-worth came with
bounce; '"
l. ror
A monk with austerities bleeding and bare,
Climbed into one scae-in the other was laid
The heart Of our Howard, now partly decayed-
Then he found with surprise the whole of hi:
brother
Weighed less by some pounds than this bit OF the
other.
By further experiment (no matter how,)
He found than ten chariots weighed less than ono
plow,
A sword with gilt trappings rose up in the scale,
Though balanced by only ten-penny nall
shield and helmet buckler and spear,
Weighed less than a widows unchrystalized tear
A lord and lady went up at full sail
When bee CHANGED to light in the opposite scale
Ton doctors. ten lawyers, two courtiers, one earl
Ten counsello's wigs full of powder and curl,
All heap'd in one balance and swinging from thence
Weighed less than few grains of candor anc
sense.
A frst-water diamond with brilliants besirt,
Than ono good potato just washed from the dirt,
Yet not mountains of silver and god would suffice
One pearl to outwegh-'twas a pearl OF grea
price.
Last of all, the whole world was rol'd in at The
crate
With the soul of a beggar TO serve as a weight;
When the former sprang up with so strong rebuff
That it made a vast rent and escaped at the rooi;
Where balanced in air it assembled on high,
And sailed up aloft as balloon in the sky.
While the scale with the soul in so nightly fell,
Tbatit Jerk ID the Philosopher out of his cell.
s.Dear reader! if e'er self deception prevails,
We pray you viii try the Philosophers scales'
But if they are Lost in the ruins around,
Perhaps good substitute thus may be fonndI
Let irIgmeut and conscience in circles be cut,
To which strings of thought be carefully put,
7 Of these be made even with caution extreme,
And impartiaIi'y. serve for beam,
Then bring those good actions which pride over
rates,
And tear up the motircs in bits for the weights