The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1851-03-13
From TIE .zbany Dutchman.
Crumbs FOR All Kinds Of. Chickens


From tie .4bany Dutckman.
Crumbs for All Kinds Of Chickens.
/, In speaking OF the professors attached to
our seminssics Of learning, Dickens says
that their knowledge is as inversely as their
sges-,hat is, the mos, recently elected gen.
orally know the most. The great iault with
our learned men is, that when they enter a
college they leave the world, and become
60 immersed in Greek and Hebrew, that
they can't see common sense through the
dus, they kick mp. We conversed the other
day with a classical scholar who was p~erfect-
u acquainted with every Gseal operation
that sver took place in Athens, and yet that
same scholar could not tell whether the rate
nf interest in this State was seven per cent.
or fourteen.
LEARN TO S,So.-To swecten toll, learn TO
sing. .Acobbler Of our acquaintance al.
tributes no, only his success, but his longev-
i,y, 10 an carly acquaintance with tho ebay
of Biscay." If'he meets with a loss, he
,eradicaics It's remembrance with Roslyn
Castle :" while he forgets his xife's impro.
prieiiss, by refreshing his forgiveness with
"Auld Lang Syne." How much better ID
thus than flying to the bottle, or letting fly
the smoothing irons.
There is a man in Indiana so thin, thai
when the sheriff is after him he crawls into
his rife, and watches his adversary through
the touch hole.
To attempt TO introduce female clerks into
our dry goods stores, don't pay. The wo.
men won't trade with them because they
won't stand their bo,hering.
Lucreiia Mott says tina, a young man who
cannot persuade a lot OF foolish women to
buy what they will never want, or their hus-
bands be able 10 pay For, should never ex-
pect to become at all celebrated as a dry
goods clerk. Lucretia is an observing young
DrL,ciors MADsEss-Going crazy aflel
calico. Its premoniiory symptoms are stan
ding collars. and a passionate desire 10 blow
the bowels ont of a flute. Crre-A riece
of bed cord applied 10 the neck, or six
pence worth of arsdnic, taken internally.
The hardest people 10 reason with are
topers. Tell a patron OF gin and sugar that
a laborer of your acquaintance lived ninety
years without touching liquor, and all the
response he viii make to your remarks,
will be a strong belief that all such a man
needed 10 mako him live for ever, was a
taste oil beer now aud then.
The colder the weather, the more you
should eat. According TO Liebig, a plate Of
roast turkey will keep out as much frost as
TWO pair of brooches and a flannel overcoat
When you 60 TO church, go TO sleep fol
philo sophers say that shutting the eyes,
makes the sense of hearing moro acute.
To STOP a runaway horse, throw tin pans
at him, which will so increase his speed, thai
in . short time he will fall TO the ground
from sheer exhaustion. If tin pans are not
convenient, a green cotton umbrella will he
found nearly Us serviceable.
Whether a man is courageous or not, de.
ponds altogether on circumstances. While
the diarrhca will make the brave irresolute-
the too,hsche will cause even the timid to
Ego i'm and face the devil. With a relaxed
state Of the bowels, Scott could never have
conquered a, Chapullepec till this day.
Mulloney says that the mysteries of card
play ing can only be learnt by losing at it.
Novices will please remember this, as il
will save them much unnecessary study
There are many modes of opening mems
eyes, but we think tapping their pocket
books is the most speedy and e%ffectual.
The editor that never lied, has turned his
attention 10 raising Phenixes. He is cou-
ain 10 the young man that hollered watch
the other night becausea girl met him in
the street, and put her arms around him.
Muggins says hat u widow who don't
wish TO get married, should be as much
cherished as a thistle tree that bears figs.
Where's the cistern pole!