Lynchburg Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1829-185?, 1851-04-24
LYNCHBURG, THURSDAY MORNING, APRIL a. 1851
INCIDENT WHICH ENDED THE
COurtship OF Mr. Nippcrs.
BY MAJOR JOSEPH JONES.

COurtsnfp Oh MT. NIppcrS.
BY MAJOR JOSEPH JONES.
Absalom Nippers was widowcr, and
one Of the particularest men, perhaps, that
ever lived, though some people said that
when his wife was alive, he used to dress
as common field hand, and didn't use to
take any pains with himself at all. Every
body noticed how he sprucod up, about
six weeks after Mrs. Nippcrsd and how
he went to church regular every Sunday;
but they didn't have no confidence iu his
religion, and used to say that he only went
to church to show his new suit ofmourning
and TO ogle the gals.
With such character among the vim
min, it amt to be supposed that be stood
any sort Of a chance ofgetting another Mrs.
Nippers near home; and whether he was
as bad to his wife as they said he was, or
not, one thing was certain, he had to look
abroad for some one to FIJI her place.
Mr.. Nippers was very lucky in finding a
gal just to his mind, what lived about ten
miles from the plantation. Nancy Parker
was rich, and though she wasn't very
young nor very handsome, she belonged to
Mr.. Nippers church, and filed his eye ex-
actly; SO he got in courtin' her with all his
might. Ten miles was good long ride;
and as he was an economical man, he used
to ride over to old Mrs. ,Parker's planta-
ton every Sunday morning, to go to church
with the family, take dinner with them and
ride back in the cool of the evening. In
that way he managed to XIII two birds with
one stone; that is, to advance the prospects
ofhis happinesson this earth and the world
to come at the same time, without losing any
of his week day time.
A ride over dusty road is apt to soil a
gentleman's dry goods, and make him and
his horse very tired. However, Mr.. Nip
pers didn't mind the fatigue as much as
his horse; but in a matter such as he had in
hand it was very important that he should
make as good an impression as possible, so
he adopted plan by which he was able to
present himself before the object Of his af-
fections in order, with his Sunday coat as
clean, and his blooming rufiles fresh and
neat as if they had just come out Of band
box. This was happy expedient and
what no BODY but a widower lover would
think OF. He used to start from home with
his new coat and shirt tied up in pocket
handkerchief, and after riding within a
quarter of a mile Of Mrs. Parker's pIanta-
ton, he would turn off into thickct Of
Chinkapin bushes, and there make hisrural
toilet
One bright Sunday morning Mr.. Nippers
had arrived athis dressing ground. 1t was
an important occasion. Everybody was
promisin, and he had made up his mind to
pop the question that very day There
was no doubt in his mind that he would re-
turn home an engaged man, and he was
reckonin over to himself the value Of Miss
Nancy's plantation and niggcrs. while he
was scttn on his horse making his accus-
toned change Of dress.
He had dropped the rens on his horse S
neck, what was browsin' about, maxim up
his last nights scanty feed from the bushes
in his reach and kickin' and stompin' at
such flies as was fecdin' on him in return.
III fix the business this time" said Mr..
Nippers to himself. "lll bring things to a
pint this time" scs he, us he united the
handkerchief with his clothes and spread
them on the saddle bow
"Wo, Bill" scs he-"Ive iist got to say
the word, and wo' ses he to his horse,
which was kickin' and rearin' about. Wol
you cusscd old fool-and the business is
settled .jist like falin' off log"
He was DRAWN his shirt over his head,
when Bill gave a sudden spring what like
to made him loose his balance. 'lWor'
ses he-but before he could get his arms
out Of his sleeves, Bill was whecln' and
kickin' like wrath at somethin that seemed
to trouble him behind Down went the
clean clothes, shirt and all, on the ground.
"Blast your Internal pictur!-wo, now
=" ses Mr.. Nippers, grabbin' at the reins.
But before he could get hold of 'cm, Bill
was off like a streak Of creased lightnin',
with awhole swarm ofyellowjackcts round
his tail
Mr.. Nippers grabbed hold Of the manc
and tried to stop the horse, but it was no
use. Away went the infuratcd Bill, and,
takin' the road he was used to travellin',
another moment brung him to the house.
The gate was open, and IN dashed the horse
with the almost naked Nippers hangin' to
his neck, hollerin'-
"Stop him! hornets! hornets" as loud as
he could.
On came the dogs, and after the horse
they went round the house, scatterin' the
ducks and chickens, and terrifyin' the little
nlggers out Of their senses. Their noise
brung the wimmin to the door.
Don't look Miss Nancy hornets. wo!
ketch him!' shouted the uncad Nippers,
as with spent breath, he Went dashin' ont
of the gate agin, with the dogs still after
him, and his horses tail switclin il every
direction, Ike young hurrycane. Miss
Nancy got one glimpse other forlorn lover
and before she could get her apron to her
eyes, she faintedat the awful sightg), while
his fast recedm' voice cryin' Hornets stop
him! hornets!" still rung in her ears.
Poor Miss Nancy never got over the
excitement Of that evcntful Sunday morn
ing. She took her bed and refuesd to see
company and finally went olfin fit Of fhys-
terics, caused by somebody mentioning the
name Of the unfortunate Nippcrs in her
presence.
Despair the Fashion.
The latest style amoug tie Partisan
Belfes.-Amedee Achard, the piquant cor
respondent of the (oyrjey Tes Efofs T-,;s