Lynchburg Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1829-185?, 1851-05-19
LYNCHBURG, MONDAY MORNING, MAY 10 ls5
"Zounds," thought l, twenty thousan

with u.s. / told him lie was an elderly,
sicklv sort ofa man and not likely to last,
but l never thought he would have died SO
soon after his marriage"
An elderly, sickly sort of mani She
will marry again of course Twas onfre
to be examined before her, and let her
hear favorable report ofme. As luck
would have it, she had some further trans
actions which required certain papers to
be sent for, and in thepauseI stepped bold
ly forward.
"Gentlemen,' said my lawyer, with
smile which whitened the top of his nose,
and very nearly sent it through the exter-
nal teguments, "allow me to introduce
Mr., particular friend of mine, who
is desirous Of insuring his life. You per-
ceive he is not one of your dying sort"
The directors turned their eyes towards
me with evident satisfaction, and | had
the vanity to believe that the widow did so
too.
"Gou havea good broad chest" said one.
al dare say your lungs are never affect
ed"
"Good shoulders, too, said another
"Not likely to be knocked down in
row."
"Strong in the legs, and not debilitated
by dissipation" cried third. II think
this gentleman will suit u.s.
could perceive that during these COM
phments and few others, the widow was
very much inclined to titter which con-
sidered as much as Irritation commenced,
and when | was ordered into another
room to be further examined by surgeon
IN attendance, longed to tell her to stop
till | came back. The professional gen
tleman did his utmost to find flaw in
me. but was obliged to write certificate
with which l re-entered, and had the sat
lsfaction ofhcaring the chairman read that
Twas warranted sound. The Board con-
graduated me somewhat jocosely, and the
widow laughed outright. Our affairs
Were settled exactly at the same moment,
and | followed her closely down the
stairs.
"What mad tricks are you at now ?"-
lnquredthe cormorant.
81 am going to hand that lady to her
carriage" l responded; and kept my word.
She bowed to me with much courtesy,
laughed again, and desired her servant to
drive home.
"Where is that :" said l.
"Number-, sir, in - street," said
John; and away they went.
He walked steadily along, the bird Of
prey reckoning up the advantage of his
bargain with me, and l in mood of equal
ly interesting reflection.
"What are you pondcring about, young
gentleman p he at last commenced.
81 am pondering whether or no you have
not overreached yourself in this transac-
ton"
allow sol"
"Why | begin to think | shall be oblig-
ed to give up my harum -scarum way of
life, drink moderately, leave offfox-h hunting,
and sell my spirited horses, which, you
know, will make material difference in
the probable date Of my demise!"
"But where is the necessity for your do
ing all this !'
"My wife will most likely make it stip-
ulation."
"Your wife ?"
"Yes. That pretty disconsolate widow
we have just parted from. You may
laugh; but, if you chose to bet the insu-
rance which you have bought ofme against
the purchase money, Will take you that
she makes me a sedate man in less than two
months"
"Done" said the cormorant; his fea-
lures again straining their buckskins at the
idea Of having made double profit of me.
"Let us go to my house, and will draw
a deed to that effect, gratis"
l did not finch from the agreement.
My case | knew was desperate. l should
have hanged myselfa month before had it
not been for the Epson Races, at which
/ had particular business, and any little ad-
ditional reason for disgust to the world,
would, thought, be rather pleasure than
a pain-provided l was disappointed in
the lovely widow.
Modesty is sad bugbear upon fortune
l have known many who have not been
oppressed by it, remain in the shade, but l
have never known one who emerged with
it into prosperity. Inmy own case it was
by no means a disease, nor had | lived in
any way which was likely to contract it.
Accordingly on the following day, caught
myself very coolly knocking at the wild
ow's door, and so entirely had | been occu-
pied in considering the various blessings
which would accrue to both of us from
our union, that L was half way up the
stairs before l began to think of an excuse
for my intrusion. The drawing-room was
vacant and was left for moment to
wonder whether | was not actually in
some temple Of the Loves and Graces.
There was not thing to be seen which did
not breathe with tenderness. The ceiling
displayeda lite heaven of sportive Gu
pids, the carpet a wilderness Of turtle
doves. The pictures were series of the
loves ofJupiter; the vases presented moth
ing but heart-ease and Notwithstanding;
the very canary birds were inspired, ard
had nest with two young ones, and the
cat herself looked kindly over the budding
beauties of a tortoise shell kitten. What
a place for a sensitive heart like mine. |
could not bear to look upon the mirror
which reflected my broad shoulders on
every side, like so many giants and would
have given the world to appear little pale
and interesting; although ii may have in
jured my life dozen years purchase.
Nevertheless, was not daunted, and
looked around for something to talk about;
on the beauty's usual occupations, which
found were all in tone with what | had
before remarked. Upon the open piano
lay "Auid Robin Grey" which had no
donbt, been sung in allusion to her late
husband On the table was half finish
ed drawing Of Apollo, which was no doubt
meant to apply to her future one and round
about were strewed the seductive poems
of Moore. Campbell and Byron. "This