American telegraph. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1851-1851, 1851-04-04
FIpGETY PEOPLE.

/
meets with in the world who are in state of
perpetual fdget and pucker. Every thing goes
wrong with them. They are always in trouble.
Now, it is the weather, which is too hot; or, ut
another time, too cold. The dust blows into
their eyes, or there is I" that horrid rain, or
I" that broiling sum-" or g that Scotch mist !"
They are as i'll to please about the weather as q
farmer; it is never to their liking, and never
win be. They "never saw such summer"
s'not days fine weather." and they 60 back
to antiquity for comfort" it was not SO in our
younger days" f4t r
Fmgety people are rarely well. They have
generally "a. headache,pf or spasms," or
nerves" or something of that sort; they can
not be comfortable in their way, without trou-
bic. Most of their friends are i'll this one has
the gout g so badp another has the rheumat-
les; o third is threatened with consumption !;
and there is scarcely q family Of their acquaint-
ance whose children have not got measles, hoop
ing-cough, scarlet fever, or some other of the
thousand ills which infantne flesh is heir to.
They are curiously solicitous about the health
of every body; this one is exhorted "not to
drink too much cold water,p another "not to
sit in the draught," a third is advised to swear
fiannels;" and they have great doctors at their
fingers ends whom they can quote in their
support. They have read Bucban and Culpep-
per, and fed their fdgets upon their descrip-
tions of diseases of all sorts. They offer to
furnish recipes for pills, draughts, and lini-
ments; and if you would believe them, your
life depends on taking their advice forthwith.
To sit at meals with such people is enough
to give one the dyspepsia. The chimney has
been smoking, and the SCOT has got into the
soup; the fish is overdone, and the mutton is
underdone the potatoes have had the disease,
the sauce is not of the right sort, the jelly is
candied, the pastry is fusty, the grapes are
sour. Every thing is wrong. The cook must
be disposed of; Betty stands talking too long
at the back gate. The poultry must be
changed, the potato-man discarded. There will
be clean sweep. But things are never other
wise. The fdgety person remains unchanged,
and goes fdgeting along to the end Of the chap
ter; changing servants, and spelling them by
unnecessary complainings and contradictions,
until they become quite reckless of ever giving
satisfaction.
The fdgety person has been reading the
newspaper, and is in ferment about "that
murder" Every body is treated to its details
Or somebody's house has been broken into, and
q constant fidget is kept up for a time about
"thieves!" I" If cats-whisper is heard in the
night, ''there is thief in the house, if an UNI
brella is missing, ga thief has been in the lob
by;" if a towel cannot be found, "a thief must
seled to be careful Of your pockets when you
stir abroad. The outer doors are furnished
with latches, new bolts and bars are provided
for outhouses, bells are hung behind the shut
ters, and all other possible expedents are de-
yised to keep out the imaginary Z" thief"
"0h, there is smell of FIRE 7" Forthwith
the house is trayersed, downstairs and up
stairs, and voice at length comes from the
kitchen, cts only Bobby been burning
stick" You are told forthwith of a thousand
accidents, deaths, and burnings, that have come
from burning sticks! Bobby is petrifcd and
or-stricken, and is haunted by the terror
Of confagrations If Bobby gets penny from
visiter, he is counseled "not to buy gunpow-
der" with it, though he has q secret longing for
crackers. Maids are cautioned to 9 be careful
about the clothes-horse," and their ears are
often startled with cry from above-stairs Of
Betty, there is surely something singeing!"
The fdgety person "cannot bear the wind
whistling through the key-hole, nor the smell
Of washing, nor the sweeps cry Of :" "syee-eep,
svee-eep," nor the beating of carpets, nor thick
ink nor mewing cat, nor new boots, nor
cold in the head nor callers for rates and sub
scriptions All these little things are magnifed
into miseries, and IL you like to listen, you may
sit for hours and hear the fdgety person wax
eloquent about them, drawing melancholy
pleasure from the recital.
The fdgety person sits upon thorns, and loves
to perch his or her auditor on the same raw ma
terial. Not only so, but you are dragged over
thorns, until you feel thoroughly unskinned.
Your ears are bored, and your teeth are set on
edge. Your head aches, and your withers are
wrung. You are made to shake hands with
misery, and almost long for some real sorrow as
relief.
The fdgety person makes point Of getting
out Of humor upon any occasion, whether about
private or public affairs II subjects for misery
40 not offer within doors, they abound without
Something that has been done in the next street
excites their ire or something done thousand
miles off, or even something that was done o
thousand years ago. Time and place matter
nothing to the 6dgety. They overleap all OBJ