Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1851-11-20

"What do you think of Mr. Caihouns
MAN." sd id Uncle Joshua, "that's laid down
in his works jest published :"
Whats that" says |, a don't think I've
heard of it.
uWell." says he, she recommends to choose
fuo Presidents, one for the North and one for
the South, each side of Mason and Dixon's
line; and no law of Congress to become a law
till if is signed by both Presidents. How
think that would work T.
.Well, | guess" says /, eff the country
depended upon laws to live on, 1t would starye
to death as sure as the ass between the two
bundles of hay"
At that cousin Nabby spoke up, and says
she, More like the country would be like
bundle of hay between two asses, and would
get eat up pretty quick.
Uncle Joshua couldn't help smiling, but he
looked round as sober as he could, and says
he, "Come, come, Nabby, you hush up; what
do you know about politics"
"Well, now," says |, "let US look at this
plan of Mr. Calhoun's a little, and see what
it amounts to. His notion was, that there
was two parties, one North and one South OF
Mason and Dixsons line, and that under one
President they never could agree, but would
always be quarrelling and ightin and crowd
ing; but if each party could choose Presi-
dent, then they would get along smooth and
quiet, and live as peaceable as lambs. Now,
if the doctrine is good for two parties, it is
good for twenty. So, if Mr.. Calhoun was
right, the best way would be to let the twen-
ty parties, that are now quarrelling like cats
and dogs, 90 to work and each party choose
President for itself Then what happy,
peaceable time we should have of it."
"Well, you've fairly run it into the ground
now," says Uncle Joshua, sand | guess we
may as well let it stick there. I'm more
| troubled about electing one President than |
am two, or twenty; and should like to get
your idea how it can be done. know Gin
eral Jackson used to think great deal of
your opinion, and may be you can contriye
some plan to get US all out of this hurly burly
that we are in, so that we can me- ke Pres
ident next year when the time comes round.
swell, says |, "Uncle Joshua, according
to what you say about the parties nowadays,
all split up into flinders, and cross-grained
every way, don't think there's much chance
for any OF 'em to elect President, especially
if Mr. Richie don't help. But, for all that,
think the thing can be done, and think
there's two ways of doing it. One way is,
to get up new party that shall surround all
the other parties-I mean a real constitution
al party, an out and out national party; par
ty that will stand up to the rack, fodder or no
fodder, and go for the Union, the whole Un-
ion, and nothing but the Union, live or die.
This party would have to be made up out of
the twenty parties you have named, so guess
we might as we'll call it the party of Ma
ticaal Come CUTTERS
''The 'toher way would be, 70 get up a sort of
revolution anneXation-ma destiny-g lory
party, and have a great banner painted, with
Cuba on one end and Canada on 'tother, and
what there is left of Mexico in the middle
and get up great torcb-light procession from
one end of the country to the other, and hire
Kossuth when he gets over here to make
stump speeches for our candidate through all
! the States. If we didn't elect him, I'd GO
into retiracy and settle on the banks Of Salt
River for life"
"Well. Major" says Uncle Joshua, 81
think good deal of your notions, and | wish
you would think the matter over, and dra W
up some plan for us to 60 by, for it's high
| time we was doing something"
| So, Mr.. Gales & Seaton, remain your old
friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING.