Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1851-08-06
ONE GLASS TOO MUCH;
OR, THE WIFE'S NIGHT CAP.
"BY NIX IN DER yOODS.n

OR, THE WIFE's NIGHT CAP.
s'BY NIX IN DER yooDs''
Mr., who doesn't live more than
mile from the post office in this city, met
some "norlhern friends with southern prin-
clples," the other evening, and in extending
to them the hospi'ali,ies of the, "Cresent
City," visited SO many of our princeIy Sa-
looms and "Marble Halls" imbibing spiritu-
Gus consolation as they journeyed, that when
he LETT them at their hotel, at the midnight
hour, he felt, decidedly felt, ,ha. he had ga
brick in his hat" Now, he has wife, an
amlabIe, and beautiful lady, who loves him
devotedly, and finds but one fault with him.
That is his too frequent visits to the palaces
where those "brcks," are obtained.
After leaving his friends, Mr..
paused moment, took his bearings, and
having shaped a course, on the princple that
continual angles meet, made sail for home.
In due course of time he arrived and was
not very much astonlshed, but rather fright
ened to find his worthy lady sitting up for
him. She always does. She smiled when
he came in. That also, she does.
"How are you, my dear E :" she said
You staid out SO late that feared you had
taken sick
"Iic-aint sick, wife-b-but don't you
lh-thihk Pm little t-.igh, ?"
"A very lille, perhaps, my dear-but that
is nothlng-you have SO many friends, as
you say, you mustjo DIN them in glass once
in while!'
Wife. you're too good-sh-,he truth is I'm
ID drunk -
ooh, no indeed my dear-.I'm sure that
even another glass wouldn't hurt you. Now
suppose you take glass of Scotch ale with
me, just as nigh,-cap, dear"
"You are too kind my dear, by half
know l'm d-drunk ~
"Oh no-only julep too much, love-
that's all.
"Yes-juleps - McMaster makes such
stiff 'uns %
"Well-sake glass of ale at any rate it
can't hurt you, dear; want one before |
retrern
The lady fastened to open bottle, and
as she placed two tumblers before her on
the sde-board, she put in one very pow
erful emetic. Filling the glass with foam
ing ale she handed one to her husband.
Suspicion came cloudedIy upon his mind.
She never before had been so kind when he
was drunk. He looked at the glass-raised
i, TO his lips-lhen hesitated.
"Dedr, w-won'l you taste mine, to make
it sweet-swee.er," said he.
"Certainly, love :" replied the lady, TAX
ing a mcuthlul, which she was careful no,
to swallow.
Suspicion vanished, and so did the ale,
emetc and all, down the throat Of the sat-
isfied husband After splitting ou! the taste,
The lady finished her glass, but seemed in
no hurry TO retire. She fixed foot-,ub of
water before an easy chair, as if she intend
ed to bathe her beautiful feet therein. But
small as were those feet there was not wa
ter enough in the tub to cover them. The
husband began to feel, and he wanted 10 re-
tire.
"Wail only few minutes, dear," said his
loving spouse; 81 want to read the news in
this afternoons Della. ! found il in your
pocket"
A few minutes only elapsed, and then
and then-oh ye gods and Dan % the lake,
what time! The husband was placed in
the easy chair. lie began to understand
why The tub was there; he soon found what
allied him. Suffice it to say, .ha, when he
arose from that chair the brick had left his
hat. 1t hasn't been there since. He says
he'll never drink another julep; he can't
bear Scolh ale, but he is death on lemonade.
lie loves his wife better than ever.
Reader, this is truthful story. Profit
by its morals-.N O. Delta.
OLD MAIps.-A sprightly writer express