The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1851-11-05
An Electioneering Speech.

ouf OdhuiudttS uidl uhu soi1etHlHg u
vailable in the following model speech,
delivered by Mr.. Daniel r. Russel, the
Union candidate for Auditor. at the late
election in Mississippi. Swan was his
competitor, and the Secession candidate,
aud according TO the Tuscaloosa Moni-
tor, from whence we get the report, he
was sorely puzzled Tor an appropriate
reply. The speech is rare specimen
OF American humor ~. y. paper
Ladies and Gen.lemen--I rise-but
there's no use Of telling you that you
know am up as well as do. / am
modest man very, but | have never
los, a picayune by it in my lille. Being
scarce commodity among candidates.
| thought | would mention il, for fear
If l didn't you never would hear II.
Candidates are generally considered
as nuisances, but they ale not they are
the poltest men in the world, shake you
by the hand. ask you hows your fami-
ly, what's the prospec, for crops, &C.,
aud am the poli,est man there is in the
State. Davy Crockett says the poi,est
man he ever saw when he asked q man
TO drink turned his back so that he
might drink as much as he pleased. l
beat that all hollow ] give a man
chance to drink twice if he wishes, for
! not only turn around, Jat shut mn
eyes, | am not only the politesi man,
but the best electioneerer. You ought
10 see me shaking hands with the varia-
tions--the pump-handle and pendulum,
the cross-cut and wiggle-waggle. |
understand the science perfectly, and il
any of the country candidates want in
,tructions they may call on me.
Fellow-citizens, was born-if
hadn't been ! wouldn't have been can.
dida'e; but l am going TO tell you
where; 'twa, not in Mississippi, but
twas on the right side oftfe negro line
yet that's no compliment, as the negroes
are mostly born on the same side,
l started in the world a, poor as
church mouse, yet came honestly by
my poverty, for l inherited it and if
| did start poor, no man can say but that
l have held my own remarkably well.
Candidates generally ask you, il you
think they are qualified, &c. Now,
don't ask your ,honghts ask your
votes. Why. there's nothing to think
of, except TO watch and see that Swans
name is not on your ticket. II so,
think to scratch it of and put mine on.
| am certain that ! am competent, for
who had ought TO know better than do 2
Nobody. l will allow that Swan is the
best Auditor in the State that is, till
| am elected then perhaps it is not
proper for me TO say anything more.
Yet as an honest man, | am bound to say
that us m, private opinion, publicly ex-
pressed. that I'll make the best Auditor
ever in the United States.
'Tis not for homer wish TO be Aud,
itor for in my own county was offered
an office that was all honor-Coroner-
which ! respectfully declined. The
Auditors office is worth some 5000 a
year, and am in for il like a thousand
of brick. To show my goodness ol
heart, I'll make this offer TO my compe,
litor. l am sure of being elected, and
he will loose something by the canvass
therefore am willing to divide equally
with him. and make these two offers
I'll take the salary, and he may have
the honor; or he may have the honor
and I'll take the salary.
In the way Of honors, have received
enough TO satisfy me for life. wen
out TO Mexico, eat pork aud beans, slep
in the rain and mud, and swallowed ev,
cry thing except live Mexicans. If or,
dered to "go," / went; CHARGE"
charged; break for the chaparal,'
you had better believe | beat a quarter
nag in doing my duty.
My competitor. Swan, is bird o
golden plumage, who has been swim
ming for these four years in the Auditor
= pond at 1000 wear. | am for rota
a ton. want TO rotate him out, and tt
c rotate myself in. There's plenty o
IS room for him 10 swim outside of tha
! pond therefore pop in your votes 70
me; I'll pop him out. and pop mysel
e in.
! am for division OF labor Swan
:. says he has to work all the time, witt
, his nose down 10 the public grindstone
o Four years must have ground il 10
O pint, Poor fellow. the public ought Il
:, insist on having the handle of his mu.
n ground clean of. l have a large fall
n grown, and well>blown nose. red as
is beet, aud tough as sole leather. ! rusl
to the post of duty. offer it sacri
- hce. ! clap it oil the grndstone. Eel
low citizens. grind away-glind ava
- ill hOlLer ennF and that ,,,ll ha ann,