The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1851-08-01
WHOLE NO. $40.

WHAT IS A aBoy?"-The world has
had many learned treatises on human
mature and woman nature, bu. why has
nobody given US an exposition Of boy
mature, which is no more like the others
}than a hawk is like hAndsaw! Some
Ingenious philosopher, in his classifca-
ton Of the human species, has divided
the race into men, women, and Fronch."
if he had only added "boys," his work
would have been complete! Avery un-
certain, mysterious, inexplicable creation
| is a boy; but ho outgrows all that after
awhile, and turns out mere man at last.
Boston Post.
We willi try our hand at defining .his
queer genius. A boy is the spirit Of mis- s
chief embodied; perfect seetotum;
spinning round like jenny or turpbllng
heels over head. He must invariably 60
through the process Of leaping over every
chair in his reach, makes druui-heads Of
the doors, turns the tin pans into GYM
balls, fakes the best knives out TO dig
worms for bait, and loses them, hunts up
the molasses cask and leaves the molas-,
ses running, is boon companion for the +
sugar barrel, searches up all the pie and
preserves left after supper and eats them. q
goes 10 the apples every ten minutes,
hides his old cap in order TO wear HIS
best one, cuts his boots accidentally ifhe
wants a new pair, tears his clothes for
fun, jumps into the puddles for fun, and
for ditto tracks your carpet and cuts your
furniture. lie is rompIng, shouting,
clustering, and all but his best estate
terrible torment, especially 10 his sisters.
He don't pretend 10 much until he is
twelve; then the rage for frock coats and
high d;ckies commences. A! fourteen
he is too big TO split wood or 60 pher
water. and at the time these interesting
Offices ought 10 be performed, conirives
TO be invisible; whether concealed in the <
ganet with some old worm-eaten novel +
for companion, ensconsed in the wood
shed, trying TO learn legerdemain tricks,
or bound off on some expedition that
turns out in most cases 10 be more de-
plorable Than explorable-to coin word. J.
At fifteen he has tolerable experience !
Of the world but, from fifteen TO twenty
may we be clear from The track when
he is in sight; he knows more than
Washington and Benjamin franklin to-
gether; in other words,ihe knows more }
then than he viii ever know again.
Jnsthail one ofthese young specimens,
aboy," at sixteen, and how wfathy he
gets! If he does not answer you pre-
cisely as the little urchin did, who an
grily exclaimed-"Don't call me "boy,"
I've smoked these two years." he will
give you whitening look that is meant
to annihilate you, turn on his heel, and
with curl Of the lip mutter disdainfally,
"Who do you call boyi" and oh! The
emphasis.
But jesiing aside-an honest, blunt,
merry, mischievous boy is something to
be proud Of, whether as a brother or son;
for in all his scrapes his good heart gets
the better Of him, and leads him soon to
repentance; and be sure he will remem-
Der his fauli-at least FIVE minutes
Boston Olive Branch,
Persons who seek TO make light Of holy
things sometimes meet their match in the
friends of such things. An English
Major, an unbeliever, once forgave a.
soldier some offence, at the instance Of
the regmental chaplain. but on condition
that the chaplain should in return grant
him the first favor he asked; and this
favor was 10 perform tbe5 ceremony of
baptism 10 a young puppy. A number
of gentlemen we're invited 10 be present
at the christening, and the chaplain re-
quested the Major to hold the animal up.
''As | am minister Of the Scotch Kirk"
said the chaplain, 81 must act according
ly." 81 ask no more," said the Major.
"Well, then, Major, resumed the parson,
with a most exemplary grave face, 81
shall begin with the usual, question: do
you acknowledge yourself the father Of
this puppy?" The officer had the sense
to take the cutting rebuke thus adminis-
tered in good part, and to throw the,pup.
py aside.
Lines written TO a young lady on being
told by her that she did not care three
skips Of louise for certain individual.
A lady has told me,
And in her own house. Hti6
That she cared not for me ss5f
Three skips Of louse.
forgive the dear creature ssg
For what she has said
Since women will talk
OF what runs IN their head. ~
No other class Of our people are so
little liable to exceed their income, as the
farmers. Their self.denial, ifnot perfect.