The Democratic sentinel and Harrison County farmer. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1851-1852, 1851-06-25

my motherl She staggered back a few
steps, and leaned against the wall. She did
not look at me. | saw her heart beat against
her breast. %, heavenly Father, she cried.
forgive him, he knows not what he doesI--
The gardener just then passed the door and
seeing my mother pale and almost unable
to support herself, he stopped she beckoned
him in, Take this boy up stairs and lock
him in his own room said she, and turned
from me. Looking back, as she was enter
ing her room, she gave me such a look-it
will forever follow met was II look of ago
ny, mingled with the intensest love-it was
the last, unutterable, pang from hear
| that was broken. In moment found my
self prisoner in my own room. thought
for an instant, of flinging myselffrom the oper
window, and dash my brains out, but was
afraid to die. wasnot penitent. At times
my heart was subdued, but my stubborn
pride rose in an instant and bade me not tc
yield The face of my mother haunted me
flung myself on the bed, and fell asleep
l awoke at midnight, stiffened by the damp
night, and terrified with frightful dreams
! | would have sought my mother at that mo-
ment for | trembled with fear, but my door
was fast. With daylight my terrors were
dissipated, and became bold in resisting
all good impulses. The servant brought my
meals but | did not taste them. | thought
the day would never end. Just at twilight
! | heard light footstep approach the door
1t was my sister who called me by name.
what may tell lmotherf from your she ask
ed.
Nothing l replied.
%, Alfred, for my sake, for all our sakes,
say that you are sorry-let me tell mother
that you are sorry. She longs to forgive
you
Il wont be driven to school against my
will, said l.
But you will go if she wishes it, dear
Alfred, said my sister pleadingly.
| NO, WON'T said |, 'and you needn't say
word more about it,
/ 20, brother, you will kill her, you will kill
her, and then you can never have happy
moment again.
made no reply to this. Ny feelings were
touched, but l still resisted their kind infu-
ence, My sister called me, but l would not
answer l heard her footsteps slowly retreat
ing, and again flung myself ON the bed to
pass another wretched, and fearful night.
Another footstep, slower and feebler than
my sisters disturbed me. A voice called
me by name. 1t was my mothers.
alfred, my son, shall come in? Are
You sorry for what yev have dene@ she ask
ed.
] cannot tell what influence, operating at
that moment, made me speak adverse to my
feelings. The gentle voice of my mother
that thrilled through me, melted the ice from
my obdurate heart, and longed to throw
myself on her neck, but / did not. No, my
boy, didnot But my words give the lie
to my heart, when | said that | was not sor-
ry. heard her withdraw. heard her
groan. I longed to call her back, bit I did
not
| was awakened from an uneasy slumber
by hearing my name called loudly, and my
sister stood by my bedside. 'Getup, Alfred.
o, don't wait a minute! Get up, and come
with me. Mother is dyingP
I thought was yet dreaming, but got
up mechanically, and followed my sister.
On the bed, pale and cold as marble, lay
mother. She had thrown herself on the bed
to rest arising to go again to me, she was
seized with palptation Of the heart, and
borne senseless to her room.
! cannot tell you my agony as I looked up
on her--my remorse was tenfold more bitter
from the thought that she would never know
it. | believed myself to be her murderer.
I fell on the bedside. / could not weep.
My heart burned in my bosom; My brain
was all on fire.. My sister threw her arms
around me and wept in silence. Suddenly
we saw a slight motion of mothers hand
her eyes unclosed. She had recovered con-
sciousness, but not speech. She looked at
me and moved her lips. could not UNDER
standhe words. Mother, mother Shrek
ed, SAY only that you forgive me-. She
could not say it with her lips but her hand
pressed mine, she smiled upon me and lifting
herthin white hands, she clasped my own
within them, and cast her eyes upward
She moved her lips in prayer, and thus she
died. Iremained still kneeling beside that
dear form, till my gentle sister removed me,
She comforted me, for she knew the heavy
load of sorrow at my heart heavier than
grief for the loss of mothers, for it was a
load of sorrow for sin. The joy of youth
had left me forever.
My son, the sufferings such memories
awake must continue as long as life. God
is merciful, but remorse for past misdeeds is
canker-worm in the heart, that preys up
on it forever Z
My father ceased speaking, and buried his
face in hands. He saw and felt the bearings
his narrative had upon my character and
conduct. | have never forgotten it. Boys,
who spurn mothers control, who are a.
shamed to own that they are wrong, who
think it manly to resist her authority, or
yield to her influence, 6eaoaret -sLay not up
for yourselves bitter memories for your fu-
ture years,
ADVANTAGES OF Systematic ARRANGEMENT.
Its well known that in domestic economy,
good housekeepers do actually derive this
incidental advantage from aday ofrest thro'
the week--One day is devoted to Washing
one to ironing; one to cleaning the house; one
to meRding; one to baking, 50 that by Satqr-
day night, everything is brought TO comely
state. None Of these things are left for the
week Everything is arranged
and in order, as if she did not expect to live