Wisconsin tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1847-1854, 1851-11-27
From Tie Carpet Bag.
4 MODERN ANNANIAS.
BY A. JAX, ESQ.


'Old Steve or Lying Stevens, as he was
tdniliIdrly termed, by virtue of strong oIigi-
nal genius and an interchangeable perseverance
and application, had acq quIred the reputation
of being the greatest Iar that ever existed in
the Slate OF -. Whenever he made his
appearance, heretore, at muster or training
he was sure to be surrounded by host Of ea-
ger listeners. lie greatly eNceled the re-
nowned AunchauSen, VINO simply told exIrav-
agdnI stories, and sometimes biuudered on
the truth. Steve, on the othe. hand, never
told word OF trG:., even by mistake, IL all
his life, aud lied cIrcumStantially and In every
Particular. La short II came to him as natur-
ally as eating and drinking. or, rather, as
breathing, for he not only lied TO listeners,
but even whel he had no other person 10 talk
to he would tell lies TO hluIself, Just to keep
mis- hand III. This fact was ascertained be-
yond doubt by his denying it in the most
solemn manner when somebody accused him
OF the fact.
1t was Mr.. Stevens misfortune, at one time
10 loose good deal ui money on horSe-race.
This made him feel uncommonly serious, so
he went to camp meeting, which was held
about five miles from his esidence, to see if
he couldn't rnahe up little by shaking props
with the boys. They happened, however, to
be rather too much for hlm that time. and he
was perfectly c!eaned Out. This made our
friend feel if possible more serious than ever,
and as there happened 10 be powerful preach
er there. who could make himself heard at the
distance Of mile, he thought he would turn
over new leaf at once. " hen he got home,
therefore, the first thing he did was 10 send
for the minister. The worthy man came and
TO his extreme amazeinent, found that Stevens
wanted to join the church
have no hesitation in laying your propo-
sition before the brethern, said the good old
man trying to smother laugh.
'Of course you haint,' responded Steve,
with great confidence.
And if you would give satisfactory evil
dence Of amendment. Mr.. Stevens continued
the minister, emphasizing the word, they
might take you probation; at any rate, We
have a IN citing tonight, aud | can let you
know Tomorrow
Probation be d--dogged = eiacuated Steve,
as the minister hastily Tetrsated; why can't
they let me jine at once, while | feel like i; .
Ihe proposition. might have been ex-
pected, created real sensation. There was
hardly member Of the church, male or fe-
male, who had not, at some time or other,
been vicrmzed by Stevens slanderous tongue,
and they could hardly hear his name with
patience. Some of them went so far as 10
say that if he joined, they would leave, and
that settled the matter, for they were among
the 'forehanded' members who could afford to
speak ou' because the church couldn't afford
to loose them.
However to avoid any trouble with an IN
scrupulous fellow like Steve. it was resolved
to break the matter to him as gently as pos
sibe. Two of the most respectable men in
the church were appointed 10 call on him, and
il was generally understood. such was their
known mildness Of des7otism, that every pos
sible excuse consistent with truth would be
made for not receiving him.
The rest of The story must be told in Steve's
own worlds:
When old Deacon Peabody came along.
sot in the back door whitting a hoe handle,
and hope to suffer if was not mad enuff to
rare right ap. A cousin OF my wife's. whose
sister was membe-, had come over airly and
told US all about it,
Good moTnin'. Mr.. Stevens saws the old
hypocrite. with face as long as yard of
pump water.
said nothin. but kept on whittln'.
came down 10 see you this morning.
SAYS Re.
Ma s.vs Z, .hev dovou li.s mv looks''