Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1851-10-30
An ElcctIomeering Gem.

the most blunt frankneSS, dscardInp every
particle ofblaneying humbug. The following
sketch of a late speech delivered by him must
have puzzled his opponent to reply to:
| Ladies and Gentlemen i rise--but
there's no use of telling you that; you know
| am up as well as do. l am modest ma
-very--but have never lost a picayune by
it in my life. Being scarce commodity a.
mong candidates, thought | would mention
it, for fear if didn't you never would hear
it.
Candidates are generally considered as nui-
! sances, but they are not; they are the poll
test men in the world, shake you by the hand,
ask you how's your family, what's the pros
pect for crops, &c, and | am the politest man
there is in the State. Davy Crockett says
the politest man he ever saw when he asked
man to drink turned his back so that he
might drink as much as he pleased. l beat
that all hollow; give man a chance to drink
twice if he wishes, for | not only turn around,
but shut my eyes. | am not only the polit-
est man, but the best electioneerer You ought
to see me shaking hands with the variations
the pump-handle and pendulum, the cross
cut and wiggle waggle understand the
science perfectly, and if any of the country
candidates wish instructions they must call
on me.
Fellow-citizens, was born-If | had'n
been | wouldn't have been a candidate; but
| am going to tell you where; twas not in
Mississippi, but twas on the right side of the
negro line; yet that's no compliment, as the
negroes are mostly born on the same side.
started in the world as poor as a church mouse,
yet came honestly by my poverty, for in
herited it !; and if did start poor no man can
say but that have held my own remarkably
well.
Candidates generally tell you if you think
they are qualified, &c. Now, l don't ask your
thoughts; l ask your votes. Why, there's
nothing to think Of except to watch and see
that Swans name is not on your ticket If
so, think to scratch it off and put mine on
| am certain that | am competent, for who
had ought to know better than | dol No
body. | will allow that Swan is the best Au-
dltor in the State-that is, till | am elected;
then perhaps it's not proper for me to say
any thing more. Yet as an honest man,
am bound to say that | believe it's grievous
sin to hide any thing from my fellow-citizens;
therefore, | say that it's my private opinion,
publicly expressed, that III make the best
Auditor ever in the United States.
'Tis not for honor | wish to be Auditor, for
in my own county was offered an office that
was all honor-Coroner-which respectful
ly declined. The Auditors office is worth
some $4,000 year, and am in for it like
thousand of brick. To show my goodness of
heart, III make this offer to my competitor.
am sure of being elected, he will lose
something by the canvass; therefore | am
willing to divide equally with him, and make
these two offers: III take the salary, and he
may have the honor; or he may have the
honor, and III take the salary.
In the way of honorsI have received enough
TO satisfy me for life. | went out to Mexico,
eat pork and beans, slept in the rain and mud,
and swallowed every thing except live Mexi-
cans. If ordered to CO." went; "charge,"
charged; " break for the chapparal," you
had better believe beat quarter nag in do
ing my duty.
My competitor, Swan, is bird of golden
plumage, who has been swimming for the
last four years in the Auditors pond, at $1,000
year. | am for rotation. | want to rotate
him out, and to rotate myself in. There's
plenty of room for him to swim outside of
that pond; therefore pop in your votes for me;
I'll pop him out and pop myself in.
| am for division of labor. Swan says
he has to work all the time, with his nose
down to the public grindstone. Four years
must have ground it to pint. Poor fellow
the public ought not to insist on having the
handle of his mug ground clear of. have
large, full grown, and well-blown nose, red
as beet, and tough as sole leather. rush
to the post of duty. | offer it up as sacri-
fee. clap it ON the grindstone. Fellow
citizens, grind away--grind till | hotter cough,
and that will be some time first, for I'd hang
like grim death to a dead African,
Times most out Well, like to forgot to
tell you my name. Its Daniel--tor short
Dan. Not handsome name, for my parents
were poor people, who lived where the quail
ity appropriated all the NICE names; therefore
they had to take what was left and divide
round among US; but it's handsome as am
R. Russell. Remember, every one OIL
you, that it's not Swan.
! am sure to be elected; SO one and all, /
rreatand small, short and tall. When you come
down to jackson, after the election, stop at
80 fyf~2 st-.g..- al i..-qr-=