Lynchburg Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1829-185?, 1851-03-27
MISCELLANEOUS.
A Kiss Or Demand,
BY THE GOLD UN."


BY THE 'oLD UN."
1t was very peculiar sound, something
like the popping of champagne cork,
something like the report of small pocket
pistol, but exactly like nothing but itself.
1t was a kiss.
A kiss implies two partics-unless it be
one ofthose symbolcal kisses produced by
one pair Of lips, and waited through the
air IN token of affection or admiration. But
this particular kiss was genuine The
parties in the case were Mrs Phebe Nav
flower, the newly married wife Of honest
Tom Mayfower, gardener to Mr.. Angus
tus Scatterly, and that young gentleman
himself. Augustus was a good hearted
rattle Drained spendthrift, who had en-
ployed the two or three years which had
elapsed ncehis majority inmaking "ducks
and brakes" of the pretty little fortune left
him by his defunct sire. There was moth
ing very bad about him, except his prodi-
gal habits, and by these he was the severest
sufferer. Tom, his gardner, had been
married a few weeks, and Gus, who had
failed to be at the wedding, and missed the
opportunity of "saluting the BRIDE" took
1t into his head that it was both proper and
polite that he should do so on the first oc-
casion of his meeting her subsequently to
that interesting ceremony. Mr. Mayhower
the other party interested in the case, differ
ed from him in opinion, and the young
landlord kissed her in spite Of herself. But
she was not without champion, for at the
precise moment when Scatterly placed his
audacious lips in contact with the blooming
check of Mrs. NJ, Tom entered the garden
and beheld the outrage.
"W hat are you doing, Mr.. Scattcrly," he
roared.
90, nothing, Tom, but asserting my
nights! was only saluting the BRIDE
against my will, Tommy" said the
poor bride, blushing like pcony, and wi
ping the offended check with her checkered
apron.
"And I'll make you pay for it, if there's
law in the land" said Tom.
pooh! pooh! don't make fool Of your
self, said Scatterly.
dener, dryly.
"You're not seriously offended at the in
nocent liberty toolxF'
"Yes | be-" said Tom.
"Well, if you view it in that light" an
swered Scatterly, 81 shall feel bound to
make you reparation. You shall have
kiss from my bride when I'm married"
"That you will never be-
81 must confess" said Scatterly, laugh
ing "the prospect Of repaynh ent seems ra-
ther distant. But who knows what will
happen! I may not die bachelor after
all. And if l marry-I repeat it, my dear
iellow-you shall have kiss from nv
wife"
"No he shan't," said Phebe. ale shall
kiss nobody but me-"
"1es he shall,' said Scatterly. Have
you got pen, ink and paper. Toni"
"To be sure" answered Tom. Here
they be, all handy"
Scatterly sat down and wrote as follows:
The Willows, Aug-,1S-.
"Value received l pr romise to pay Thos.
Mayfiower, or order, one, kiss on demand" !"
Aug ustus Scatterly.
There youhave lee al document" said
the young man, as he handed the paper to
the grinning gardner. .'And now, good
folks, good by"
mistakes will happen in the best regu-
lated families" and it so CHANGED that in
the antumn ofthe sames year, our bachelor
met at the springs a charming belle Of Bal
timore, to whom he losi his heart inconti-
nently. His person and address were al
tractive, and though his prodigalitv had
impaired his fortune, still rich old maiden
aunt, who dotted on him, Miss Persimmon
Verjuice, promised to do the handsome
thing by him on condition ofhis marrying
and settling quietly to the, management of
his estate. So, under these circumstances,
he proposed, was accepted, and was mar
RED, and brought home. bis beautiful Young
bride to reside with Miss Verjuice at the
Willows.
In the early days of the honeymoon, one
fine morning; when Mr.. and Mrs. Scatterly
and the maiden aunt were talking together
in the garden, Tom Mayhower dressed in
his best, made his appearance, wearing
smile Utmost peculiar meaning.
"Julia," said Augustus, carelesslv to
his young bride, "this is my gardener,come
to pay his respects to you-honest Tom
MavAower, very worthy fellow, l assure
you"
Mrs. Scatterly nodded condescendingly
20 the gardener, who gazed upon herwith
ofen eyes of admiration. She spoke few
words to him, inquired about his wife, his
flowers, &c, and then turned away with
the aunt, as if to terminate the interview.
But Tom could not takehis eyes off her,
and he stood, gazing and admiring, and
every now and then passing the back of his
hand across his lips.
"What do you think ofmy choice, Toni"
asked Scatterly, con6dentially.
"Ohl splendiferous y said the gardener.
"Roses and lilies in her cheeks-eh p
said Scatterly.
Her lips are red as carnations, and her
eyes as blue as larkspurs," said the gard
ener.
I'm glad you like your new mistress ;
now go to work, Tom"
Il beg pardon, Mr.. Scat;erly; but I call
ed to see you on business"
"Well-out with It."