The Plymouth pilot. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1851-1852, 1851-10-08
Number 80.


mend the holes IN my fences, take
fair price for my produce, and never in
dulge in idleness and dissipation.
III were a lawyer. would not charge
a poor man 800 for few words Of ad-
vice.
III were physician, could not have
the concience to charge as much as they do
for feeling the pulse, extracting a tooth,
taking little blood, or administering a
dose of calomel and jalap.
If | were merchant, | would have all
established price for my goods, and not
undersel or injure my neighbors. would
sell at moderate profit, and give good
measure and deal as honestly as possible.
If l were mechanic, would apply
myself industriously to my business.
take care of my family, refrain from Wis
iting taverns and grogshops, and when
promise man TO have his work done
BY certain tine, would try and be
punctual.
If were young man, would not cut
as many ridiculous capers as some Of them
do, playing with their watch chains.
flour.shing theis rattant, strutting. and
making great noise with their high heel
ed boots, (probably not paid for) and ma
king remarks on plain and worthy peo-
ple They render themselves contenpti-
bic in the eyes of the sensible and unas-
surfing.
If were a young lady, / Would not
be seen spinning street yarns every day.
ogling :his young fellow, moulding at an
'Other, and giving sweet smiles to.a third
sometimes having three holes in o2e
stocking and two in tother.
If | were a lover. | would be true TO
the object of my affections. treat her with
tenderness: and never let her conduct to-
ward another excite jealousy in my breast;
but should she ever speak Of Inc in terms
of d;srespect, or treat Inc with GOODNESS.
would be off like shot off hot shovel,
and all her arts should never again en-
trap me.
III were an old bachelor, | would make
every exertion in my power to get max
ried and if failed, would buy o sope
and hang myself.
And Mr.. Printer, if | was of your use
ful and respectable profession, would
never refuse to publish pieces like this.
Sick CLERKs.--Ihe Dayton Gazette re-
lates the following story of ofSecretary Cor
win. Its humor is Characteristic:
To friend of ours who saw him the
other day, at Lebanon, he gave most
amusing. and we doubt not the truthful
account of the condition Of things in the
treasury department, when he entered
upon the duties Of secretary. The clerks,
he estimated, were sick, on an average,
about half the time-but it struck him as
somewhat remarkable, that, much as they
were sick, none of them died. The fact
was apparent at glarce. that .hey did
very little work for the public, and the
inference was irresistible. that something
must be done for them. Accordingly
the secretary turned physician, and be-
gan 10 prescribe FOR the invalids. He IS
sued an order that all clerks who were
absent from their desks certain number
of days, say two, on account of sickness,
should submit to proportionate deduc-
tion from their respective salaries; and
that all who were absent longer, say one
week, should be required either to die or
resign.
The prescription worked like charm.
and in a short time there was not sick
clerk in the whole department. A health
ier set of men than they are now, Mr..
Corwin declares cannot be found any
where.
BEGGARs-The number of women,
begging with infants in their arms, ap-
pears to be increasing. They may be
seen, sitting here and there, OF calling at
stores, and dwellings; the babes they
carry showing every appearance of being
humanity for the Mayor Of our city to
give directions to have all such women
taken up, and careful investigation made
into the case of each. No doubt, some
of these infants are stolen; In all cases,
they will be found to be cruelty treated.
Let this worst form OF vicious beesary,
carried on in London 10 so shocking an
extent, be at once suppressed here. liza
mother will not support her infant by
honest labor, it should I've taken from her.
Phil. Gas.
The citron. lime and lemon are the
produce of different varieties of the ever
green shrub citrus, the original or parent
stock of which is a native of Asia.
it has been carried into all quar-.
ters of the globe.
The Egyptians are beginning to de-
stroy the pyramids and ancient tombs,
Tor the sake of building materials.
Cherub is Hebrew word, signifyinc
knowledge. Seraph is likewise from the
Hebrew, and means flame.