Fremont weekly freeman. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1850-1853, 1851-12-27
glass occasionally. and bis equal at drinking
was not to be found every day.


was not to be found every day.
As the lawyers retired, he leaped nolsess-
ly from the bed, and amid their meanings and
hiccups, which prevented their hearing the
least noise, he secured his own clothes even
dewn to boots, and selecting a single article
from the clothes of each of the rest, distribut-
ed them around where his own had BEEN
This done he again retired, and by his snor-
ing soon satisfied the lawyers that he was fast
in the arms of that sleepy God, Morpheus.
A short time elapsed, and the 'sprigs Of
law called the name of Yankee. He answer
! ed not; and they felt assured that he was too
drunk and sleepy to know anything, and then
thir work commenced.
Brown slipped from his bed. Cropping
lound, he found the place where Yankees
boots had stood, and taking the lamp, poured
its contents. good pint of the best Winter
strained" into them. Then he returned TO
bed.
A moment longer and Smith came forth.
He would not be so hard on Yankee, so he on
ly severed one leg from his pants, and open
ing the window threw it out.
Next in rotation from another bed came
Clark; and then followed Jones. White, and
Bolt, each performing his part and then re-
tlrlng to their respective oeds.
The sun had been up several hours-we
won't dispute about the number reader
when our worthless opened their eyes They
looked about a moment and recollecting that
court opened at ten, they made preparations
for partaking of breakfast.
Springng from their beds each seized his
clothing, and commenced getting into it.
| Smith seized his pants and hauled them Or.
! To bis horror, he found them minus one leg.
He looked about like one trying 20 solve some
problem He sat down on his bed, the very
picture of despair, while the rest laughed
heartily.
Smith,, said one, you was too drunk and
cut off your own trowsers leg. You're dis
grace to the profession
Meanwhile, the others had boen busy
about their clothes. Bolt found his vest sew
cred at the back, and one half was gone
Thus he had served the Yankee-so he thC't
And you, too, was drunk, Bolt said White
we'll turn you OUT
But White could not find his vest. He rec
objected of having noticed the Yankee had one
too it being cold, and that one of them he had
thrown out of the window. He looked out
and there was the identical vest, his own, ly-
ing across the chimney of the porch beneath
now burned to a crisp.
10 what has the profession arrived! ! said
Brown. Alas for it!'
Jones had by this time pulled on his coat
Both arms were gone-and he looked, as he
far out from the edge of the coat, more like a
fool than enything else.
what shall | do?' he exclaimed-'this is
! l.. -
to-day, and a coat with no sleeves to it! Blast
the Yankee!'
Brown and Clark stood convulsed with laugh
ter, gazing at the sorrowful spectacle present
ed to their view. They gave what encourage
ment they could to their fellow 'sprigs. Al
that moment the court house bell and the vii
lage clocks announced the hour of ten.
Brown made all haste to pull on his boots
one on, the other mostly so, when strange
sound came squirting up about his legs. This
was followed by loud shout of laughter from
the rest. Before he had laughed now he tool
his turn to be laughed at
'Alas for my client. wish that Yankee
had been in limbo before he entered thi:
house.
'Gentlemen,' said Smith, it's my humbl,
opinion that that confounded Yankee Peddlel
was not any more drunk last night than We
were. 1t was all sham on his part; and he
has taken us in well. He's gone now; and
now I think of it, heard him getu last nigh
after we turned in, and my opinion is, that h
made a change, took his own clothes, anC
placed ours in their stead.'
This appeared plausible enough and all con
Cured in it.
The ceasing of the ringing Of the cour
house bell announced to Clark, that it wa
time for him to be moving, while the rest stooc
heapng imprecations on the head of the Yam
kee.
Reaching The bar room, Clarke seized hi
hat from a shelf, and instantly placed it upoI
his head; a full quart of oil came trinkln!
down over his head and shoulders L tho
had escaped but thisis outrageous!' he gasp
ed Blast the Yankee!-he has spoiled M
attending court TO day!' and returned TO hi
companions; while the oil was vending it
way steadily down over his shoulders
i, During his absence, the others had discov
cred note addressed to them, which rs
something after this style:
My Dear Frieads.-When YOU next at
tempt to make victim of peddler, obtai
one not so bright as yourselves
They attempted joking no more during tn
" session of the court; and when the story leak
. ed out, as of course it did, it was rather e1
pensive, by way of treats, for all hads.