Southern sentinel. [volume] (Plaquemine, Parish of Iberville [La.]) 1848-1858, 1850-03-27
Cousin Sally billiard.


| tions, it has never befalcn me to be obliged to
prosecute so direful, Marked and malicious al
ASSAULT more swilful, violent, dangerous bat
tery--and finally, "a more diabolical breach ofthe
! peace, has seldom happened in civilized coun-
try; and dare say it has seldom been your duty
to pass upon one so shocking to- benevolent
feelings, as this which took place over at Cap
tain Ricc's in this county. But you will hear
| from the witnesses
! The witnesses being sworn, two or three
were examined and deposed--one said that.he
heard the noise and did not see the fight; ano-
! ther that he seen the row, but didn't known
who struck first--and i third that he was very
drunk, and couldn't say much about the skrim-
mage.
| La,cyer Chops.--I am sorry, gentlemen, to
| have occupied your time with the stupidity Of
the witnesses examined. 1t arises, gentlemen,
altogether from misapprehension on my part
Had known as now do, that had witness
in attendance who was well acquainted with all
the circumstances of the case, and who was
able to make himself clearly understood by the
! court and jury, Ishould not so long have tres
passed upon your time and patience. Come
| forward, Mr.. Harris, and be sworn. z
So forward comes the witness, fat, shufy
old man, "leetle" corned, and took his oath
with an air. - o
Chops.-Harrs, we wish you to tell all abont
the riot that happened the other day at Captain
Rice's: and rs a good deal Of time has already
been wasted in circumlocution, we wish you to
be compendious, and at the same time as ex-
plicit, as possible
Enthusiastically (gving the lawyer a
knowing wink, and at the same time clearing
his throat) Captain Rice, he gin treat, and
cousin Sally Dilliard,s she came over to our
house and axsd me if my wife she moutn't go!
Itold cousin Sally billiard that my wife was
poorly, being as how she had touch OF the
rheumatics in the hip, and the big swamp was
in the road and the big swamp was up, for there
had been heap of rain lately; but howsomever,
as it was she cousin Sally billiard, my wife she
mout 90. Well, cousin Sally billiard then axed
me if Nose he moutn't go! Itold cousin Sally
billiard that he was the foreman Of the crap, and
the crap was smartly in the grass; but howsom
ever as it was the, cousin Sally billiard, Nose
he mout 60
Chops.-In the name of common sense, Mr..
Harris, what do you mean by this rigmarole! :
!, Winess---Captain Rice, he gin treat, and
cousin Sally. billiard she came over to our house
and axed me if my wife she moutn't go! 1
told cousin Sally Dilliard-q
want to hear anything about your cousin Sally
billiard and your wife-tell US about the fight
| at Rice's. % oo
Wtness2-Wel, l will, sir, if you will let
Chops--Well, sir, go on.
| Witness-Well, sir, Captain Rice heo gin, a
| treat, and cousin Sally billiard she come over to
| our house and axed me if my wife she moutn't'
| rrr-- "
| Chops-There it is again. Witness, please
to stop. ... ..--... a. .-...-e,,
+ Wuness.-Well, sir, what do you want?
! Chops-We want to know about the fight,
and you must not proceed in this impertinent
story. Do you know anything about the mat
ter before the court!
Witness.-To be sure do. D."
Chops.-Well, 60 on and tell it,and nothing
/ Witness.-WeIl, Captain Rice he gin a
Chops-This is intolerable. May it please
i the court. move that this witness be committed
for contempt he seems to be -tritiing5 with
this court. o. -r- - >.s5t
Coura-Witness, you are now9 before a
court Of justice, and unless you behave yourself
j in a more becoming manner you will be sent
/ to iail SO begin and tell what you know about
the fight at Captain Rices. '.sss3
Witness.-A alarmed. well. gentlemen,
Captain Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally
Chops,-I hope the witness may be ordered
into custody. + i zE@
Court latter celebrating. ]-Mr. Attorney,
the court is of the opinion that we may save
/ time by telling witness to 90 on in his own way.
Proceed, Mr.. Harris, with your story, but stick
to the point. ss2 - - ~
! eWaness.-Yes, gentlemen. Well, Captain
Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally billiard
! she came over to our house and axed me ifmy
she nout 20? / told cousin Sally billiard that
nv wife she was poorly. being as how she had
the rheumaticsin the hip, ard the big swamp
wasup but howsomever, as it was she, cousin
Sally billiard my wife she inout 60. Well
cousin SallyDilliard then axed me if Nose he
4 moutn't 90. l Itoldcousin Sally Billiard as how
EMose-he was the foreman of the crap, and il
4 was smartly in the grass-but i,owsomever, al
it was she, cousin Sally billiard, Nose he mou1
i 90 So they goes on together, Nose, my wife
and cousin Sally billiard, and they come to the
/ big swamp, and it was up, as Twas telling yon
but being as how there was.a log across the
big swamp, cousin, Sally billiard and Nose, like
4 genteel folks, they walked the log; but my wife
4 like darned fool, hoisted her coats and wadet
through. And that's all 1 k''o'o about tn
+ fpht. "a Fa @s3 4& .ss3 III 81 #tsz@s sss5s4
| ,pA remarkable sign Of the times is tha
Rev. Mr. Peabody now breaches to Baptis
congregation in Salem, in the very church from
the pulpit Of which John Cotton assai|ed Ro
ger Williams, well known as the originator o
the cruel laws under th6infuence Of which tn
Baptists and other sectarians were so grieveus
) " prosecuted during the eafly days Of Massa
7 chusetts, <' @@@e ~ s'"sS