Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1850-08-02


stood sixty coffins of different dimen-
sions, one for each boarder, with my
own conspicuous among them, my
name aud coat farms blazoned upon
it!
MAJOR" said the Landlord, "your
measure was taken the moment OF
your. arrival. You announced your
intention to stay three months, and
while registering your name, my un-
dertaker, who watches the arrivals,
and is very adroit, applied his tape to
you. hope, sir, you are are pleased.
inspect the heraldry. 1t is all right.
We consult the best authorities ON
the British peerage."
was too much shocked to reply,
but Immediately retreated to my
room, packed my baggage, and rang
for my bill, determined not to sleep
another night in city where coffins
were made, and probably graves
dug, beforehand. My bill was as
follows; Major H, 10 Beale's Ho-
tel, Dr.-Four days board, at So,
$l2, lights, 81 so; cigars, $I; paper,
rs cents; wine, $50; coffin, $3.50; E..
E., $3.50 rs.
ldesdended to the bar in no amia-
bic mood; threw down thirty -four dol
lars and seventy-hve cents, but re-
fused to pay for the coffin. Ihad
never ordered such a thing; on the
contrary, it was a liberty should not
excuse. Every we'll, Major" said
MIR. Beale, with a low bow and one
of his blandest smiles, '.just as you
please; ii makes no difference. The
coffin was made in pursuance of a
rule of my house. Had YOU remain
ed week, you would most proba-
bly,, have needed it, and as we bury
strangers before they are quite dead,
had this coffin not been made, in the
event of your death, your aristocrat-
ic body would have been sent to the
trench in a pine box! Do not pay,
Major It's quite unnecessary. But
your coat Of arms-the escutcheon of
the noble house of H--t, is OH that
coffin, and the first pauper that dies
shall be buried in it,"
This was too much for my ances-
tral pride. | threw down the sover-
eigns, made bonfire of the coffin.
and the same evening hired a barge
to carry me from the city where such
dreadful customs prevailed. Imper-
ative business, continued the Major,
brought me to New Orleans a few
days age. Bya singular sort of fas-
cmation, | was drawn to the same
hotel from which / fled thirty years
ago; and, by strange coincidence,
my stay is of the same duration, q
leave this evening,) and my bill is
about the same.
"How, Major exclaimed, "has
Murray charged you for coffin?"
No, sir, not exactly that-it occur
red in this way. While registering
my name, felt some one touch me
on the shoulder, as felt it thirty
years before. Indignant that the
same trick should be played upon me
a second time, | wheeled, and at one
blow knocked the man down, and
placed my foot upon his breast. The
mistake was promptly explained. 1t
was an attendant of the hotel in the
act of brushing the dust off my coat.
| felt much chagrincd, and tile least
| could do was to ask the poor fel-
lows pardon, and insist on his accep-
ting the same amount that had
paid for my coffin on former occa-
sion.
Saying this the servant shook nv
hand and departed. Curiosity led
me to visit the attic, but the rule of
the house had been changed, and,
instead of coffins, / found long rows
of Sherry, Madeira, Port, Cogniac,
Hollands, old Jamaica, and Irish
Whiskey, in bottles and deniiohns
covered with cobwebs, like old monks
in their dark gowns, which Murray
here boards for his guests.
The Major went up to LOUISVILLE on
the last trip of the Magnolia, and
our friend, Commodore Gyles, tells
the following story, if it be not true
Charlie is responsible. The Major
put up at one of the best boarding
houses, and was delighted with the
table, but at night found himself
crowded into room with two 9TH
ers. His English prejudices were
shocked, but finding there was no
redress, submitted like a soldier, and
resolved to make the most ofhis sit.
uation. He took it for granted that
his room mates were Yankees, and
soon began to rallv them or, a. -