Washington telegraph., 1850-06-12
TEST OF AFFECTION.

MIR. Archibald Stanhope-a groggy
sentamentalist, residing in Buckley street,
| Philadelphia conceived the narrowing
suspicion that his wife was not rs pas
sionately fond of him as a lady of good
taste should be; and to put the matter to
fair trial, he hit on a little stratagem
which he put in practice the other day,
with the results hereafter to be detailed.
He took suit of clothes and compo-
sed an effigy of himself, by stuffing the
garments with quantity of straw, which
had lately been discharged from an old
bed Having suspended this figure to a
rafter in the garret by means of clothes
line, he esconced himself behind pile of
rubbish in the same garret, to watch the
effect.
After while, his little daughter came
up after jumping rope, and caught a
glimpse of the suspending figure. She
ran down the stairs screaming.
oh, mother, mother. daddy has hung
himself
Now for it. thought Archibald in am
buscade; I'VE shall have a touching scene
presently
Hung himself? he heard Mrs. S. re-
peat as she walked up stairs, he has'nt
got spunk enough for such a thing, or he
would have done it long ago. Well, L
believe he has done it however, she con-
tinued, as she came in view of Archi-
bald's straw representation. "Moll, Ito
the little girl,) think he ought to be
cut down. You had better 60 into the
kitchen AID get knife my dear, but
don't go down too fast, or you might fall
and hurt yourself. Stay-I forgot
there's no knife in the kitchen sharp
enough. You can go around to Mr..
Holmes, the shoemaker, in Sixth street,
he's only two squares off, and tell him to
lend us his pairing knife; tell him to whet
it little before he sends it. And Molly,
while you are in the neighborhood, you
can call at your aunt Sukey's and ask
how the baby is. And Molly, you can
stop at the grocery store as you come
back. and get pound of seven cent, su-
gar. Poor Archy! sighed Mrs. S. when
her daughter had departed. hope we'll
get him down before the vital parks dis
tinct-for these burying is very trouble
some and cost money. He wanted to put
an end to himself. too; and l think /
ought to let him have his own way for
once in his life; he used to say was, al
ways crossing him. | wished he had
not spoiled that new clothes line-an old
rope might have answered his purpose.
Here a voice which sounded like that
of the supposed suicide, broke in on Ms.
Stanhope's sol;loquy, with you confoun-
ded Jezable, I'll be the death Of you"
Mrs. S. thinking this must of course,
be a ghostly exclamation, uttered a wild
scream, and attempted TO escape down
the narrow stair case Archibald start
ing from his place of concealment, gave
chase, Mrs. stumbled midway on the
high. of stairs, aud Mr.. S. having Just
reached her, and made grasp at her dis
heveiled hair as it streamed backwards,
the amiable partners were both precipita-
ted TO the bottom together.
Both were rather badly bruised, and
cries of the lady raised the whole neigh
borhood. Archibald was arrested for ma.
king disturbance and practising on the
tender sensibilties of his wife He was
recognised in $500: and jocuarly propo-
sed his suspended ehigy as his surety
but, he found to his sorrow, straw bail
was not acceptable under the admins
tralion of mayor Jones.