The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-03-20
HUMOROUS.
Lively and gossiping--
Etu9'd with tho treasures Of the tattleing world.
And with spift Of mlrth. !.

Lively and gossping-
EtuI'd with tho treasures OF the tattleing world.
And with spife ofmrth.
Picking up an Acquaintance.
Or Furnishing acild Blade,--Some months
since, joyous, courageous young woman resi-.
ding in our city, the daughter of highly respect
able parents, found herself somewhat uninten-
uonally detained at the house Of friend, not far
distant from her fathers house, one evening, and
before she was fully aware of the fact, night had
set in. The distance to her own home was but
few blocks, however, and as she expected a
little gathering of gentlemen and ladies' that eve-
ming at her fathers, she determined on return
ing home unattended; and, bidding her friends
good night, she hurried along upon the walk to-
wards her residence, into which the family had
removed from another part of the city.
Upon turning the first corner, she was sud-
denly startled by the approach of a we'll dressed
young man, who accosted her with "good eve-
ning,' and offered his services to escort her
home! Alarmed for an instant, she would have
avoided the stranger; but as he advanced to her
side, she ventured to turn towards him, and
glance satisfied her-she recognized the young
gentleman as familiar acquaintance. Disguis-
ing her voice, and replying in a timid tone, she
accepted the preferred gallantry, determined at
once to administer lesson to her young friend,
which he should not forget. The conversation
which passed was brief, and the beau suspecting
nothing, as he was not aware that the family
had changed their quarters, tripped along at the
side of the young lady, apparently very well
pleased with his companion. In few minutes
they halted before modest brick house, in a
retired street at the west end, and the lady reln-
pushed her attendants arm
ssWill you come in?" whispered the young la
dy softly;
"Thank you, was the reply; and his fair COM
panion opened the front door.-Closing it care
fully, they found themselves in the entry in to-
tai darkness.
"Wait a moment, said the young lady, and
be perfectly quiet will return instantly and
with these words, she assembled the stairs which
led to the parlors.
The first thought of the young man, as he re-
tired, was to open the front door and move for
he suspected all was not as he at first anticipa-
ted. He turned to the door, it was fast. He
fumbled for the latch, or lock, or whatever Sc
cured it. but it was not to be found; and an in
slant afterwards, he heard footsteps approaching
in the darkness. His heart thumped against his
ribs, and he began to wish himself safely out of
doors again; but he was quickly treasured by
the encouraging whisper of his new-made ac-
quaintance, who approached him apparently
with great caution.
ssHush!'' she said, call is safe. Be quiet now
moment-remove your boots from your feet
l will return in an instant
Our hero was content, and drawing off his
boots, he secured them together, and held them
in his hand to await the return of his lady friend
who had again assembled the front stairs.
Entering the parlor moment afterwards, the
female rogue found some half score of young
lady friends with her brothers and bcaux pres
ent, to whom she briefly and quickly commune
Gated the adventure.
Give got him in the entry down stairs" she
said. ssPut out all the lights, keep perfectly
ottn do,,'t hat Tho eli Of
and will show you some sport in a moment.
The lights were removed, the party arranged
themselves around the room the bulk of the
company knew the victim intimately-and the
lady decended the stairs and approached her
friend.
s.Softly, now,' she added, taking the hand
which was unoccnpied with the boots, ''softly
oil is quiet up stairs-all is arranged-come =
and she led her gallant shyly along up the stair
way. His boots dangled against the railing
Ssh" exclaimed the fair one; ''for PHYS sake
make no noise, or all is lost.'
The beau moved on, grasped his boots more
securely at his side, nor dreamed of ought save
bliss. Least Of all did he suspect the existence
ola huge rent in his stockings-but he was q
bachelor and this was a trihe. They entered the
parlor. All was darkness and silence. The
lady closed the door behind them, and led he
companion into the centre of the room. Not
breath was heard, and little did the gentleman
suspect that he was at the moment surrounded
by dozen Of his acquaintancrs. "Remain here
one moment" said the girl, 81 will get light.
The gallant raised the soft hand which had
conducted him thus far toward-he knew not
what-and ventured to press upon it kiss; but
it was dextrously withdrawn at the very 'nck of
time, and his lips came in contact with his own
fingers!
swat moment" added his Inamorata, leav-
ing him quickly-and then passing through a
door at the farther extremity the room, she dis
appeared. A minute had scarcely elapsed, but
it seemed month to the little party, who were
nearly choking with suppressed merriment; it
was an age to the victim. But the gentle foot
steps were heard again, the beau gazed anxious
ly towards the direction of the door-it opened
with single movement-a blaze of light rushed
into the parlor, and behind it the face of an old
and familiar acquaintance
ssLadies and gentlemen" she said, "this is
Mr.. Smith,
! Such "ha! hal as went up from that little
coterie at that moment was seldom heard in the
nelghborhood before or since. Poor Smith stood
for moment, not exactly aralyzed-that would
be faint term of expression, he was frozen
actually statue-ized in his tracks; and Rugged his
boots to his side, coughed, sneezed, checked
then grinned ghastly smile. As sooon as the
paroxysm of laughter was over, the lady brought
forward chair, and placingit before the victim,
| said
"Pray be seated Mr.. Smith
He turned upon his tormentor look of COM
ical recognition, and like Falstaf, his wits COM
ing to his relief, he replied:
ssDo you think, Cary, didn't know you?'' =
| Another roar followed this remark, and the com.
pany were very soon upon good terms.
This was his first and last effort at picking up
an acquaintance; and it proved cure for "spark.
ing with him. Within six months he made an
ample apology for his error by making Miss Ca
ry-Mrs. Smith
Mineral Resources of California.
The following statement respecting the vari
GUS mineral resources Of California, is extracted
from DR.. WIEzBlcKIs' new work, ssCalifornia
as il is, and as it may be, or Guide to the Gold
region
ssWhen considered in point of mineral produc-
tons, if allowed to be developed by capitalists
California is capable of becoming an important