The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-05-01
HUMOROUS.
mot quite the Cheese

hssl3l.5 HUMOROUS.
s419 mot quite the Cheese
STRONG sKETcH,-BY THE LITTLE 'UN.'
On entering my room a few evenings since, l
found large package lying on my table, and
tearing off the wrapper found it was VOL 10Th
of the esprit" fresh from the bindery. Open
ing it, I commenced carelessly turning over the
leaves, when my eyes fell on the sentence above,
s.Not quite the Cheese" Now what: deuce
gave rise to that sayings said 1, as the word re-
called to memory scene which was rather of
cheesy nature, and as it made rather strong
impression on sensitive organ, did not easily
forget it. H..
Some years since, l was employed as ware
house clerk in large shipping house in New
Orleans, and while in that capacity, came a.
cross something that wasn't quite the cheese
as the sequel will testify. .. ....
One day vessel came in, consigned to the
house, having on board a large lot of cheese
from New York; during the voyage, some Of
them had become damaged by bilge-water, Che
ship having proved leaky,) consequently the
owners refused to receive it, as was not as the
bills of lading said, delivered in good order and
the consumes of the ship, to be stored until the
case could be adjusted. discovered few days
afterward, that as to perfume they were decided
ly too fragrant to remain in the warehouse in
June, and reported the same to the Concern,
from whom l received orders to have them over
hauled, and send all that were passable to Beard
& Calhoun's Auction Mart, (then in the Old
Camp-street Theatre, TO be disposed of for the
benefit of the underwriters, and the rest to the
swamp.
got gang of black boys to work on them,
avSA ykov,t c$.r -, tl Al L r
Mol Kelly's quart mug! but the smell was ille-
giant entirely" kept respectable distance,
believe me, for strong niger and strong cheese,
on hot June day, just bangs all common essen.
ces, including certain 0arnsint we read about
Presently the boys turned out an immense
fellow, about 3 feet 6 across the stump from
which the box had rotted off; in the centre a
space Of about ten inches was very much decay.
ed, and appeared to be about the consistency OF
mush, of a BLUSH tint, which was caused by the
bilge water. The boys had just set it up on it's
edge on bale of gunny bags, when noticed
over the way big darkey (then on sale at S.
q B.s,) from Charleston, s. c., who was noto-
rious for his butting propensities, having given
most of the niggers in the vicinity taste Of his
quality in that line. had seen him and anoth-
er fellow the night previous, practicing; they
would stand, one on each side Of hydrant some
ten yards distant, and ran at each other with
their heads lowered, and clapping their hands
on the hydrant, they would butt like veteran
rams.
A thought struck me that ight cure him
OF his Dragging and butting, and have some sport
also, SO l told the boys to keep dark (Which by
theAway, caused very little exertion to them, all
niggers), and called "Old Jake" over
"They tell me you are great fellow for but
81 is some, Massa, das fac-I done butt de
wool 'tirely OFF OBJ old Pete s head las night and
Massa Nichols was gwine to give me goss! l
kin jiss bang the head OFF OBJ any niger in desc
parts, myself KIM
swell, Jake, I've got a little job in that line
you when you haven't any thing else to do
"l'se on hand for all dem kin OBJ Jobs, myself
II isl = -
swell, you see that large cheese back there?"
81 does dat! does, myself"
"Now if you can butt dent in it, you shall
have It,
"Golly, Massa! you foolin' dis nigger!
'No, I'm not, Jake just try me- 49,.
"Wot! you glib me de hull oh dat cheese if I
butt dent in um?
Eyes
.De lori III bust EN- wide open, 1 will my
SET Jess stan back dar, you Orleans niger, s.
clar de track for Ole Souf Carlina, kase Use a
commin myself ISL
And Old jake started back some fifty feet, &
went at It At : good quick run, and the next in
slant heard dull, heavy sound, kind Of
squlsh, and Old Jake's head disappeared from
sight, with the top just visible on the other side,
as he arose with his new fashioned neck lace
the soft rotten cheese ooziug down all around
him % it settled down, that just his eyes were
visible. From the centre of it Jake 8 voice was
scarcely audible and half smothered, as he vain.
ly tried to remove the immense cheese.
"O-o-o-o! er de Lor! Mas-took UNI orf!-O.
o-o-o! Dress d Lor! Lii UNI up! Cor amity!-
-
Meanwhile was nearly dead myself, having
laid back on = cotton bale holding my sides TO-
gether 70 keep from bursting, while the boy,
stood round Old Jake, paying him off,
"De Lor! how de nigger's BRET SMELL 70,
dosen't clean your teeth, Old Jake!"
u ray! you didn't make more dan four dimes
dat han, did you, old hoss.'' fs
"Well yon is nasty niger das . fac!''
"Well you il de biggest kind ofa Welsh Rab.
bit, you is!,' 1S9 )
"Whar you git your har grease" and thus
the boys run old Jake now half smothered-
until 1 took compassion on him and told them to
take It Of. Jake didn't stay to claim his prize,
but put out, growing
"Gor mitylI done got soled dat time! Use
: case OBJ yaller-feber-I is myselfn'
Old Jake was never known to do any more
butting in that vicinity after that, and am still
q IL opinion that It was g Not quite the Cheeser'
--------. n
The Following good1tory is from the Literary
W6s1d: }s'is Ta3i'
1.-Two English tourists having arrived at Bos.
TIN during the snow season, ordered q sleigh,
h1yins heard IF such thing in q general way,
without being conyersant with the particulars Of
"A IN nv have one buffalo II twoss s.ked the
/. ~ the Cockney, looking little
nix So i have only one the first time, as
IN "a NJ srsxdI y dr;Sing hcm !"