The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1850-01-09
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THE HApPitssT JAYS OF AiY
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Goddess Of Maria ages Ifynan IS by
far too jolly; he is oil smiles, more af
the, hycna than the crocodile; whilst
Niobe is just as she ough to be, all
tears There never yet was d marriage &
that was not perfect ST. Swithni
affair. No one, unless he has the soul
of gutta percha, thorough i waterproof.
should think of going to avoiding wiil,
less than two pocket Inadvertently
and, even then n sponge is better
adapted to tile Joyful occasion. Men
take wives as they do pills, With plenty
of water, excepting, indeed, when the
little things are well gilt. IL q kind
of matrimonial barometer were kept in Il
each family, and ita daily Indications
as to the state of the weather ut the
fire.side accurately registered. re have
no doubt that on the average being tax
en- the following results would be farriy-
cd at: 5.sI
BEFORE MARRrAGE Fair.
DUhtSG MARRIAGE IPct.
AFTER MARRIAGE Stormy.
Meteorologically speakihg,sit Would bg
highly interesting could we arriyeat d
knowledge of tho exact amount ofsdoo'
prevailing during coartship. Nobody
can feel more truly wretched than on
the happiest day ofShis life. a We'd
ding is even more melancholy than I.
funeral. The bride weeps for every
thing and nothing. Atfirst she's heart
broken because she's about to leave her
Ma and Pa; then because she hopes
and trusts Charles will always love
her; and. when no other excuse is left
she bursts into tears because she's afraid
he will not bring the ring with him -.
Mamma, too, is determined to cry for
the least thing. Her deary dear girl is
going away, and she is certain some.
thing dreadful is about TO happen: and,
goodness gracious she's forgotten to
lock the dining.room door, with NH the
vine and plate on the table, and three
strange tradesmen in the house. AT
church the water is laid on at e5te,sere
vice indeed the whole party look SO
wrctched, no one would imagine there
was a 'happy pair among them.
When Papa gives away his darling
child, he does it with as many sobs aa
if he we're handing her over to the fer
cest polygamist since Henry tho
Hghth.--instead Of bcstowing her OH
one who loves his lamb regardless of
the mint sauce that accompanies her,
The bridegroom sniYels, either because
crying's catching, or because he thinks
he ought, for decency's sake to appear
deeply moved; and the haif.do8en
bridesmaids are sure to be all weeping,
because every body else wceps. When
the party return home, however, the
thoughts of the breakfast cheer them
up little; and the bridesmaids, iii
particular, feels quite resigned TO their!
fate. As If they had grown hungry
by crying, or the tears had 7rhetfed
their appetites--.t they drown their cares
for while in the white soup turcch -
The champagne goes off, and goes.
round. Then the father
gets up, and after q short and pathetic
culogium upon the virtues of that
sweet girl, whom he sloves as his own
flesh and blood,' thumps the table, and
tells the company that 'any one Who
would not treat her properly would be-
scounarcl.' Upon this every one
present turns round to look and frown
at the wretched villain Of a brideg:oon,,
and then they all fall to weeping asaiss
But so strongly has the feeling set ii
against the new son.in,law, thar it Isl.
only by q speech full of the deepest
pathcs, that he can persuade the een.-
pany that he has not the least thought
of numbering, or indeed oven assaais-
ing his wife. At last, The mother,
bride, and bridesmaids retire to say,
Goodbye aud have good cry all To-
gcthcr up stairs. Then the blessing
and the weeping begin again with res
newcd vigor. As Mt Vauxllall, they
seem to keep the grandest shower fes
the last. The bridesmaids cry Till ther
noses arc quite red, and thcir hair is as
straight as if they had been bathing
And when tho time comes for lie lap
py pair to leave, in order to catch tlis,
train for Dover, then the mother, IA
thcr, sisters, brothers. bride, bride.
groom, bridesmaids, and every soul iii
the house, all cry--eycn DOM to the
old cook, swho kRowed her ever since
she were d baby in long clothes il
tho yeung couple were about to be
transported for life in the literal sasisS
5er than the figaratige sense ef tsslo3
tesm.~--. ne ctoa,ic "a iffliasss s.,
SO,
STiLI aNoTffgn plss rot ptaSk RoAns.-s
M. Grnnise, OF this State has applied for q .