Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1850-04-20
To Young Women,
sr MArHKw CARY

soME one hath s, id, that inatrimony is
with women the great business of life,
whereas with men IL is only an incident, an
important one, to be sure, but only one n
mong mnny 10 which their attention is di-
rected, and often kept entirely out of view.-
Now this difference gives the other sex
great advantage over you; and the best way
to equnlize your lot, and become as wise as
they are, is TO think as little about il Us they
do.
The less your mind dwells upon lovers
and matrimony, the more agreeable and
profitable will be your Intercourse with gen.
tlemen. IL you regard men as intellectual
beings, who have access TO certain sources
OF knowledge of which you are deprived,
and seek TO derive all the benefit you can
from their attainments and experience-if
you talk to them as one rational being should
with another, and never remind them thnt
you are candidates for inatriniony-you will
enjoy far more than you can by regarding
them under one aspect of possible future
admirers and lovers. When that is the only
absorbing thought you have not the proper
Use OF your faculties; your manners are con-
struined and awkward, you are easily en-
barrassed and made to say what is ill-judged,
silly, and out of place; and YOU defent your
own views by appearing to great disadvan-
tage.
However secret you may be in these
speculations, If you are continually think
ing OF them, aud attaching undue impor-
tance to the acquaintance of gentlemen, it
will most certainly show itself in your man.
ners and conversation, aud will bctray
weakness that is held in especial contempt
by the stronger sex.
Since the customs of society have award
ed TO nnn the privilege of making the first
! advance towards nIatrimony, il is the safest
and happiest way for woman TO leave the
matter entirely in his hands. She should be
so educated us TO consider that the great end
of existence-preparation for etcrnity-may
be equally attained in married or single life,
and that no union but the most perfect one,
is at all desirable. Matrimony should bc
considered us an incident in life, which il il
comes at all, must come without any con-
trivance of yours; and therefore YOU NAV
safely put aside all thoughts of il, until some
one forces the subject upon your notice by
professions of a particular interest in you.
Lively, ingenious, conversable, and charm-
ing little girls, are often spoiled into dull,
bashfiIl, silent young ladies, and all because
their heads are full of nonsense about their
beaux and lovers. They have a thousand
thoughts and feelings which they would be
ashamed 10 entertain; and their pre-occupa-
ton with subject which they had better let
alone, prevents their being the agreeable and
rational companions of the gentlemen of
their acquaintance which they were destined
to be.
Girls get into all sorts ofscrapes by undue
pre-occupaton of mind; they misconstrue
the commonest attention into marks of par
ticulor regard, aud thus uoursh fancy for
a person who has never once thought of
them but us an agreeable acquaintance
They lose the enjoyment of party, if GER
tain beaux are not there whom they expect
ed TO meet; they become jealous of their
best friends il the beaux are there aud do
not talk 10 them as much as they wish every
trlfie is magniied into something of iunpor-
tance--a fruitful source of lnisery-and
things OF real importance are neglected for
chlneras. Aud all this gratuit0us pains
taking defeats its own ends The labor is
all in vain; such girls arc not the most popu-
lar; and those who seem never TO have
thought about lnatrimony at oil, are sought
and preferred before them We may add
the advice, thQt young women should not
consider II serious misfortune, even if new
er married; there is nothing disrcputable,
while there may he much happiness, in the
condition of an oh maid.