Washington telegraph., 1850-01-30
Dutch VS.. Yankee, or care you Readys''
BY CORPORAL TRIM.

In little country grocery, away u,
among the Highlands. in the county O
Duchess, N. Y, there were gathered
about the stove, one winters evening
some dozen persons, inhabitants of the
village OF P. All of them boasteC
of their ancient Dutch descent, save one
and he was the schoolmaster of the vii
lage; as straight from Vermont as he
could come.
The Dutch SO much ouscounted Yer.
mont, that they began good naturedly to
bother hIm with narrating all sorts ot
stories about the Yankees. They told
him about carving wooden nutmegs,
whiting down the other end of shoe
pegs to make oats, selling beeswax for
maple sugar, and variety of other Gus
toms and cute doings for which the poor
Yankees have been made responsible
from time out of mind.
| Vermont was getting a little warm,
and the more they saw it, the more they
piled him with their cruelties.
81 say" says one, "was your father the
man who said he and his neighbor to-
gether owned fifty cows; his neighbor
owned forty-nine, and himsulf one, and
he was an OK"
"No; that man wasn't my father"
All laughed but Vermont
"Well, your father wasn't the man.
says another, "that kept a pound, and
shut up his own hogs, and kept them
there for month. and finally sold them
to the highest didder, not knowing they
were his own all the tme?"
That's BRIGHT replied the school,
master.
One man followed another with his
jest and his story, till the last one COM
menced his story.
'Stop right there."' broke out Vermont,
and I'll tell you story, if you will all
promise not to tormeLt me in this way
any more"'
Good exclaimed the whole at once
"Will you all promise to have done
with this for to-night!''
ayes, yes,' said the whole.
"Well, then; once on time son of a
Dutchman somehow or orther got strayed
away up into Vermont. He had his gun
and knapsack with him, and that was
enough to last him, with the cabbage he
got from our garden. He came across a
Vermonter one day, who was, like him
self, going off on tramp for wild game" :"
"See nere"' cried Dutchy, "what are
you going after today
IL IN after duck, replied Yankee
"Duck. Is there any duck about here?"
Il guess you'd think so, if you knew
the pond l am goin' to-"
"Suppose we go i'll company" said
Dutchy.
"Better than that, replied Yankee.
"Well, what?'
"Why, you take one direction round
the pond, and will take the other. We
will meet at the upper end of the pond,
or thereabouts The one that gets the
most ducks shall have all the other gets" I"
Done. said The Dutchman; 'that is
very goot!.''
Off they started on different courses,
and it was quite far into the afternoon
when they hailed each other at the head
Of the pond, some miles above.
"Hello"' cried Yankee; show many
have you got!''
"Only one," answered Dutchy; show
many is you got?"
IL haint got but one nuther," replied
Yankee
"Well what shall we do them" asked
Dutchy. "Shant the one with the big
gest duck take the leetlest one, too?''
''Oh, no"' said Yankee; Il kin fix it
bitter'n than that. Here, look here; you
put one of this ducks feet between your
teeth, and I'll put t'other one between
mine. You pull, and I'll pull too. The
feller that gifts the biggest piece when she
comes in two, shall take both ducks"
"Agreed.'' said Dutchy. with delight.
The webbed feet of the poor duck were
placed to the mouths of each of the gam
sters. and tightly grasped between their
teeth.
care ye ready?' said Yankee, still hold
ing tightly the ducks foot between his
teeth.
"Yaw" said Dutchy, opening his great
mouth to its widest; and Yankee pulled
the whole away from him
"The ducks are mine!' said Yankee,
sand guess I'd better be gittin towards
hum, now"' and off he started, leaving
Dutchy behind, with his mouth still wider
open than before.
The company about the stove didn't
laugh-didn't sag anything. One after
another they silently left the little grocery,
and from that night forth there couldn't
be found man in the village who ever
felt like pestering the schoolmaster with
stories about the Yankees or Vermont.
american Union.
1t is very difficult. to draw the dividing
line between the virtues and vices OF a
man. If one becomes incensed against
another on account of certain faults or
errors discernible in him, he will be very
likely TO condemn the whole character OF