The southern press. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1850-12-19


LAST REMNANT OF THE REvoLUTIoN-SuR-
ROUNDED BY VAST CROWD OF AMERICANS,
FOREIGNERS, AND FREE NEGROES.
Auaioneer, raPping his hammer-Gentlemen
the office now up for the highest bidder, is one
of the most valuable ever disposed of at public
auction since the sale of the Roman Empire. 1t
comprises the quntessence of the sovereignty
of the people; its possession conveys right to
the disposal of inestimable honors, and what is
far better, incaculable profits, and places the
fortunate possessor at the head Of twenty-three
millions of the most enlightened people in the
world Will any gentleman offer bid!
First Bidder.-A large slice Of the public
lands for improvements in Missouri; another
slice on account of two per cent. paid great
central railroad from ST. Louis to the Pacific,
at the expence Of the General Cover nment re-
linquishment Of tolls on the Government lands;
presumption rights to settlers, especially in Cali
tornia; ceding the public lands to the States
where situated and all the swamps in the uni
verse to any body that will take the trouble to
drain them.
AuctioneeI Why really my good sir, this is
bidding by retail You must be joking. have
been offered twice as much at pr vate sale. No
body more!
Second Bidder.-A compromise surrendering
all the remaining rights Of The South to the
Abolitionists-the rights Of property-.he right
to share in the public doman-the right of re-
sstancc-the right Of secession, and the eman-
cpaton of all the negroes into the bargain, if
necessary. Great applause among the gentle
men Of color.
observation-disclosures gentlemen; nobody has
right to speak here but the buyer and seller.
Cutee Douglas.-By gosh, | reckon speak
iis when | like, an do what like. Dat de higher
law
Auctioneer out that fellow for inter
rupting the sale.
The negroes dram their Jo,cie knires and repol-
rers the mag iStraleS are sent tor hut can't
! come +; The Attorney General is consulted and
hears what one SHE has 10 say and The Presi-
dent being called on, can't see any harm in he
matter, but threatens to send troops to Texas i
The Auctioneer thinks ii necessary. order is
at length restored by suffering Cu6ee to say
and do mhat he pleases
Auctioneer.-Wcll, gentlemen, now that all
is quiet, and the supremacy Of the law indicated
by the hrmness Of the magistrates, the argu-
ments Of the Attorney General, the ntlexible
patriotism of the President, and the good sense
Of IA law-abiding people, We will proceed with
the sale if you please. Any more bids gentle
men!
Third Bidder.-A grant of all the public lands
to the entire human race, especially Messrs.
Tag, Rag, Bobtail and Company.
Iris4man-By ST. Patrick, that's something
like. shall come in for Il potato patch, in the
,cuillr.
! Here agreai confusion q tongucS, Lish French,
haitian, High Dutch, Lom Dutch, and broken
English, ending IN ro,c abom The diriSiou Of
the MntS
CuGee.-Mistcr iIawskinncer,I deman' to know
of the candlemake, if he mean to exclude de
gcmman Of choler ',nong de tire human race ?
MISUNDERSTANDING ertuinly-all free and
equal, of course.
CnDee.-Dcn by gosh, stick to urn like deaf
TO an ole nigger
Auctioneer.-Any gentleman bid more Go
ing.
Fourth Bdder.-A grant ofa,l the public lands,
and all that may be hereafter acquired, to Messrs
Tag, Rag, Bobt;.iI and Company, with full re-
cognition Of the right of every man to settle
down wherever he plcascs, and turn out the law
full owners
j FJM Bidder--Ditto-wit n stipulation that
Messrs. Tag, Rag, Bobtail and Company shall
never be turned out for debt, or crime Of any
sort, but hold it forever under the indefcasblc
right Of squatting,
Eishmnn.-By u.s. that's the boy for me.
I'll vote in every ward Of the city for that jewel
of Patrick
Second FiShmnn-Don't he in hurry
Barney. dare say we shall get better offer.
Auclio"eer,--Any more bids gentlemen? Go
ing! going.
SirM Bidher.-The gentlemen bid high, Mr..
Auctioneer, but the question naturally arises
whether they can make good their pledges when
called upon. Now, fatter myself that having
been placed by decree Of Providence in sit
uation to redeem mine, no one will doubt my
responsibility
Auc'ioner.-Cettoinly-- certainly your Excel
Icncy-everybody knows your standing at the
board Of brokers. Anybody more! Going ,
going positively last call, gentemcn-never
Was such a sacrifice
Sixth Bdder-A new taritf-protective du-
tics-internal improvements, all over and every
where. Stopping the Mississippi from over
flowing is banks-bringing canals and railroads
to every mans door--crecting innumcrable bar
bors on the akes-making all the rivers in the
United States naVigabe to their sources-never
quarrclling with anybody-never fighting with
anybody-never uttering that unpopular word
Economy-and seeing the laws faithfully exc