The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-07-24
Eating Ice-Cream Raw.
BY JONAS JOINER.

On very warm and sultry evening, during
the summer of AZ, as DR.. B-and myself were
seated in fashionable saloon of our town, lndulg-
ing in the cool luxuries that the proprietors of
the establishment know well how to prepare,
and chatting the while upon such subjects as
fancy and caprice suggested, a tall, lmberlook~
ing fellow of about twenty three, made his ap-
pcarancc, and after looking about him for some
time in bewildcrment and doubt, seated himself
at table close by the one at which we were
sitting.
The young man was apparently stranger,
and from the country; and the illuminated signs,
with "Ice- Cream" ''Contectonares,' &c, e.,
blazoned thereon, had evidently taken him in.
Knowing the Doctor to have great propensity
for practical joking, | turned to see what effect
this new arrived would have upon him; and one
glance at his restless, twinkng eye, satisfied
me that there would be sport.
After some time, as if uncertain how to pro-
coed, the young man plucked up sufficient cour-
age to address us, and inquire whether he could
''get some lce-crcam, and couple OF contectlon-
aries; stating, at the same time, that he had
snever been at the canawl afore, and did not
know how people acted at SIGH places lie was
informed by the Doctor, that if he would ring
the small bell that stood upon the table, his
wishes would be gratifed. The green 'un did
as he was directed, and in due time was served
with ice-cream and ssconfectionaries.' After
eyeing for few minutes the articles before him,
he took the spoon from the glass, took small
quantity of the cream, and put it to the tip of his
tongue; and he then looked about the room with
an air Of great satisfaction and delight. Soon,
however another idea seemed to strike him; he
rammed the spoon deep into the glass, took it
out heaped full, and IN moment its contents had
disappeared.
At this instant felt twitch at my side-the
~ fact had 1nfc l,o6
my arm convulsively, and with one hand point
ing towards the victim, almost screamed:
"Shocking! that young man is eating his ice
cream raw!''
Down went ice-cream, spoon, confcctionarlcs
and table upon the floor; out leaped the victim
at least ten feet towards the middle Of the room
gasping for breath-eyes protruding from their
sockrts-and countenance exhibiting marks of
the greatest terror and hclplessness. In a
ment the Doctor was by his side-felt his pulse
! -unbuttoncd his coat, waistcoat, and shirtcol
lar, as if to admit fresh air; then gently pushing
him into a chair, commenced tanning him with
the skirt Of his coat. 1t was then that the vic
tim s tongue first became loose, and, with inn
ploring looks, he half whispered, half screach
cd
90, kin livc?'
| Upon this the Doctor looked mysterious, felt
his pulse again, examined his tongue, and then,
in solemn tone, replied
cit may be, young man, that by implicitly
following my directions, you can yet escape the
consequences Of your rashncss and folly. would
advise you TO-
"Anything, I'll do anything you tell me, so
as kin git over this spell, and find my way
home az in.
"WeH, then, sir, take off your coat The
young man did so. ''Tic handkerchief about
you.'' He was obcycd. And now, sir, go to
the door, three times around this square
with all the might that is in you; then come
back to me, and will tell you what further
to do
The young man vanished, and we resumed
our seats; in few minutes, however, he re-
turned, pulling and blowing, and apparently in
better spirits.
"Now" said the Doctor, edo you put on your
coat button it up close to your chin, go to your
lodging place, and turn into bed Immediately;
and let me advise you, young man, that here
after before you undertake to eat icccream, see
that it is properly prepared; and let me particu-
larly charge you, (and here he assumed a very
serious airy never again do you attempt to cat
ice cream raw.
The young man stammercd forth his thanks
and then left-we following soon after