The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-04-18
COUSIN SALLY DILIARD.
A LEGAL SKETCH IN THE TOLD NORTH STATED

IriIi nito~' We NoiW CuFOaHd.- .
A beardless disciple ofThemis rises, ans
thus addresses the court MAY it please
your worship,, and you, gentlemen of the ju
ry, since it has been my fortune, (good o.
bad, will not say) 10 exercise myself in le
gal disqui1Eions, it has never befallen me to
be obliged to prosecute so direful, marked
and malicious an assault-a mole wilful,
violent and dangerous battery-aHd finally,
a more diabollcal breach of The peace, has
seldom happened in civilized country; and
dare say has seldom been your duty to
pass upon one SO shocking 10 benevolent feel
ings, as this which took place over at Capt.
Rice's, in this county. But you will hear
from the witnesses. 'tfl'
r The witnesses being sworn, two or three
were examined aad disposed-one said hs
had heard the noise, and did not see The fight
another that he had seen the row, but did
M know who struck firsi-and third, that
he was very drunk, and couldn't say much a.
bout the skrimmage, a"
Lowyer Chops-I am sorry, gentlemen, 10
have occupied your time with the stupidity
o.the witnesses just examined 1t arises,
gentlemen, altogether from misapprehen-
sion on my part. Had known as do now,
that had witness in attendance who was
well acquainted with all the circumstances
of the case, and who was able 20 m axe him
self clearly understood BY the court and iu
ry, should not SO long have irespassed upon
your time and patience. Come forward Mr..
Harris, and be sw orn.
So forward comes the witness, a fat, shuffy
o,d man. Hleetle" corned, and took his oath
with an air.
Chops.-Harris, we wish you 10 tell all a.
bout the riot that happened the other day at
Captain Rice's and as good deal has al
ready been wasted in circunlocution, we
wish you to be compcndious, and at the
same time as explicit as possible.
Hirris.-Adzac,ly (siviny the lawyer a
knowing wink, and at the same time clear.
ing his throat) Captain Rice, he gin treat,
and cousi n Sally Dilliard, she came over TO
our house and axed me if my wife, she mout
go? told cousin Sally billiard that my
wife was poorly, being as how she had a
touch Of ofRhumaIics in the hip, and the big
swamp was up, for their had -h.sn reap Of
rain lately but how somever, as it was she,
cousin Sally billiard, my wife mout 60
Well cousin Sally billiard then axed if Nose
he Mout go?
told cousin Sally billiard that he was FORE
man Of the crap, and the crap was smarly in
the grass but howsomever as it was she,
cousin Sally billiard, Nose he mout 60
ChoR&-In the name of common sense,
Mr.. Harris, what do you mean by this rig
marole
JV,tness.-Captain Rice, he gin, and cou.
sin Sally billiard she came over TO our house,
and axed me if my wife she mout 60! I told
cousin Sally billiard
Chops Stop, sir, if you please' we don't
want 10 hear anything about your cousin Sal
ly billiard and your wife-:ell us about the
fight at Rice's.
Witness-WeIl, l will sir, If you will let
me. ...
Chops.-Well, sir, go on.
Witness.-Well, sir, Captain Rice he gin
a treat, and cousin Sally billiard she came
over to our house and axed me if my wife
she mout go . -
Chops.-There i, is again. Witness, please
to stop.
W,tncss We'll, sir, what do you want!
Chops.--We want TO know about the fight
and you must not proceed with this imperi-
nent story. Do you know any thing about
the matter before the courl
Witness.-To be sure do. ..H
Chops-Well, go on and tell it, and moth
Witniss.-Well, Captain Rico he gin a
Chops-This is intoleIabe. May it please
the court, move that this witness be com
miled for contempt hc seems 10 be lrhins
with this court.
Coun-Wilness, you arc now before a
court of justice, and unless you behave in a
mere becoming manner, you will be sent 10
Jail; SO begin and tell wha, yon know about
the fight ut Rics's. a-s'
Wiiness-[A Alarmedl We'll, gentlemen,
Captain Rice, he gin teat, and cousin Sail
DRiar9-- .I. ."t. .c. %
Chops.--I hope that the witness may be
ordered into custody. & H ..a.at
Court.--(afier deliberating. MIR. Attorney,
the court is of opinion that we may save
time by letting the witness so on in his own
way. Proceed, MIR. Harris, with your story,
but stick 10 the point. - te
Witness.-Yes, gentlemen. Well, Captain
Rice, he gin treat, and cousin Sally Dill
lard came over 10 onr house and axed me il
my wife she rnout go9 told cousin Sally
Dilliard that my wife she was poorly, being
as how she had tae rhumatics in the hip,
and the big swamp was up; but howsome-
ever, as il was she, cousin Sally billiard, she
mout go. Well, cousin Sally billiard then
axed me if Nose he I">mpc! Itold cousin
Sally billiard, as' q was fore.
man of thec' vas smartly ir
the grsss-bl. sit was she,
cousin Sally o. ae meut go. .. Sc
they goes to ,ly wife, and cou-
sin Sally Dill, ..a,. J come TO the big
swamp, and it was up, as was telling you