Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1850-06-29
1853
Htistelloneoms.
The Dcformed Girl.
ny. @. wntrTiER.


Memory, mysterious memoryl holy and
blessed us a dream of Heaven TO the pure in
spirit-haunter and accuser oft,e guilty. I'M
escapable presencel Lingering through ev-
cry vicissitude, and calling us back TO the
pnst--back to the dim sopulchral images OF
departed timc-opening anew the deep foun-
tain of early passion--tlie thrilling aspiration
of after years! While the present is dark
with anguish, and the future is gladdened
with no sunbow of anticipation, invoke thy
spell of power. UnroIl before me the chart
ofvanished hours, let me guze once more on
their sunlight and shadow.
! am an old man, the friends of my youth
are gone from me. Some have perished on
the great deep, others on the battlefield, afar
off in the land of strangers, and many, very
many, havc been quietly gathered TO the old
church-yard of our native village. They
have left me alone, even as tho last survivor
of fallen forest, the hoary representative of
departed generations, The chains which
once bound me to existence have been bro
ken-Ambition, Avarice, Pride, even oil that
nwakens into power the iniolernble thirst of
mind. But there are some milder thoughts
some brighter passages in the dreams OF
my being YET living at the fountain of Mem
ory--tho' of pure and angelic communion
linked by n thousand tender associations to
the Paradise of Love.
There was one--a creature of exalted in
tehect-a being whose thoughts went mp
waru IKE the incense of flowers upon Gods
natural aitars, they were so high and unlike
TO earth. Yet she was not prol,d of her bigh
gilt With the brightes, capacities of an un-
bodied spirit, there was something more
THAN woman's meekness iD her demeanor.-
II was the cendescension of sernphic intel
fect-the forgiveness aud the tears of con-
scious purity extended to the erring and pas-
sionate earth.
She was not being to love with an earth-
Iy affection. Her person had no harmony
with her mind. 1t bore no resemblance TO
those beautiful forms which glide before the
eyes of romance in the shadowy world of
dreams 1t was not like the bright realities |
of being-the wealth of beauty which is
sometimes concentrated in the matchless |
form Of woman. Ii was deformity, relieved |
only by the intellectual glory Of dark, soul
like eye.
Yet strange as il may seem, loved her
deeply, passionately, as the young heart can
love when it pours itself out like an oblation |
TO his idol There were gentle and lovely |
ones around me-creatures of smiles and |
blusbes, soft tones and melting gunces, but |
their beauty made no lasting impression on |
my heart, Mine was an intellectual love-
year'iing after something invisible and holy
sometlng above tile ordinary standard of hui
man desire, set apart and sanctifcd, MS il
were, by the mysteries of the mind.
Mine was not love TO be revealed in
thronged circles of gaity and fashion, it was
ayowed underneath the bending heaven,
when the perfect stars were alone gazing up
on ~. 1t was rejected, hut not in scorn, in
pride nor anger, by that high-thoughted girl.
She would ask my friendship, my sympathy,
but besought me--ay, with tears, she be-
sought me to speak no more of Loye-l
obeyed her. / fled from her presence.
mingled once more in the busy tide of be-
ing, and ambition entered my soul. Wealth
came upon me Unexpectedly, and the voice
ofpraise became familiar sound. return
ed ut last with the impress of manhood upon
my brow, and sought again the being of my
dreams.
She was dying. Consumption--pale, ghast'
ly consumption, had taken away her hold on
existence. The dcformed and uniting ten
ement was yielding 10 the impulses of thC
soul.
Clasping her wasted hand, bent over he
in speechess agony. She raised her eyes Il
mine, and, in those beautiful emblcnls OF tn
soul, read the boarded affection of years
the long smothered emotion of smotheret
heart. Henry" she said, and bent lowe
TO catch the faltering tones of her swee
voice; 81 have loved long and fervently.
feel that am dying. rejoice at it. Eartl
will cover this wasted and unseemly form
but the soul will return TO that promised AM
better land, where no change or circunlstanc
can mar the communion of Spirit. Oh
Henry, had il been permitted hut ] vii
not murmur. You were created with NOR
than manhood's beauty, and l deiormed-
wretched as am have dared to love you.
knelt down and kissed the pale brow
the sufferer. A smile of more than earthl
tenderness stole over her features, and fixe
there, like an omen of the spirits happiness
She was dead. Aud they buried her on I'll
spot which she had herself selected, deIigh
fiji place of slumber, curaincd by gree
young willows. 1 have stood there ihout
and times in the quiet moonlight, and iancie
that heard in every breeze that whispere
among the branches the voice Of the believe
slnmberer.
Devoted girl thy beautiful spirit hath nev
er abandoned me in my weary pilgrimag,
Gently and soothingy thou CONTEST to waic
over my ,lillow--to cheer me midst the trial
of fhumaniiy-to mingle thy heavenly syn
pnthies with my joys and sorrows, aud I
make thy mild reprovings known and felt j
the dark moments of existence, in the ten
pest of passion, in the bitterness of crimc.-
Even now, in the awful calm which precedt
the last change in my being, in the col
ohadow which now stretches from the gray
10 the presence Of the living, feel that tho
art near me-
"Thyself pure and sainted one,
Watching the loved and trail of earth"