The southern press. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1850-06-25
DAILY
From the London Punch.
FEMALE BUSSES.

FEMALE 'BUSSES
Sir, ------I am a great Omnibus Traveller, be-
cause am poor, and the Omnibus is the poor
man S carriage.
"These carriages however, are far from per-
feet. Amongst other drawbacks, will mention
one: The LADIES.
60 maintain that ladies have no right in Omni-
busses at all. They never were intended for them,
and at first lady had the face TO get into an Om-
nibus. She would as soon have thought of walk
ing into Divan or Biliard-room, or the Athe-
naum--or any one OF our clubs. Onnlbuses,
lay down, were built for men, and by men they
ought exclusively to be filled.
AT present, Ladies arc interlopers--intruders
and should not wonder if IN time they do not
make it a. favor to let us ride in our vehicles.
As it is ] never get into an Omnibus that see fill
ed with the lovely sex. could no more do it
than could pass the day at Exeter Hall.
In the first place, ! detest babies in any shape
quiet or noisy. If they are quiet, they play
with your shirt rill, your watch chain il they
are noisy, they kick your rowsers and clutch
your whiskers. 30, sss
Now, sir, it's pretty evident, that if there were
no Ladies in an Omnibus, there would be no ba-
bies. BY excluding the one, you virtually slam
the door in the face of the other. would have
babies pay double fare, and twins should not
be admitted at any price.
There are other complaints, however, Just
loud as the babes--which l do not object to, If
they happen to be- asleep, and you are not re-
quested to hold them on your lap. But Lady
takes up twice as much room as a gentleman.
Look at her dress! What with her hoops, and
her founces, and pelices, yictorines, mantslines,
crinolines, and a thousand other lines, defy her
not TO take room for two, at least. The c0nse-
quence is, WE have to suffer. If there etwo
Ladies on the same side, you will see the gentle
men run up into a corner at the end, packed to-
gether as tight as a pack OF cards.
adj yho uafa into IN Inns
has an insepamble attachment for bundle, a
handbook, bird cage, and parcel of some sort
or other, which ought properly to have gone by
the Parcels Delivery Company. These parcels
are always in the gentlemen's way--and if you
happen to put your foot accidentally into band
box, you are sure never to hear the last of it, till
You have left the Omnibus. Do what you will to
oblige the women they are never satisfied Ks
There is but one remedy for this state of things,
sir, and with your leave now hasten to propose
it--Let the Ladies hare Omnibus qf their o,cn
There are carriages exclusively for the Ladies
on the railways, why should not the same system
be adopted in the streets with our public vehicles
The conductor should be Lady--the driver
should be Lady
The roof inside should be omamented with ba-
by jumpers, or else the roof outside provided
with cradles, for the convenience of the dear ba-
bies. t. . tH l.
The interior should be lined with looking
glasses. .ssr...,...t ....t... ss
At the end Of the vehicle should be exhibited on
an embossed card with little raised Cupids kissing
each other, and carefully decorated with ribbons,
the following pacard: 5ar
NO SCANDAL ALLOWED.
To prevent disputes, every Lady should pay
her fare on getting in, and no money to be return
ed upon the lady suddenly discovering she is go
ing in an opposite direction to that which she in
tended. s8 y4 a ~
A stringent law should be made that no Lady
is to keep the Omnibus waiting more than five
minutes, while she is searching in every pocket.
bag and ridicule, " for her change ~
Only one bundle to be allowed to each Lady.
A separate Omnibus to ruin every Saturday and
Monday, for the convenience of washerwomen
and their baskets. a aa
A whole dictionary of names will instantly
suggest itself for such Omibusses. THERE'S Par
adise, the Boudoir, the Nursery the Para
sol, the Reindeer the Bonnetbox, sthe Whis-
pering Gallery, sthe Ladies' Drawing Room,
| for such it literally would be,) and many more
which shall be happy to supply.
j am sure such Il vehicle would be hailed by all
classes, but by the Ladies more especially, as al,
immense Improvement upon our present plan OF
mixed Omnibusses. 1t would be pleasanter fol
the ladies and much more comfortable for the
gentlemen The former would avoid many insults
and robberies, and the latter a hundred inconvc
niences in the shape of wet umbrellas, dirty pat
tens, and teething children--to say nothing o
being continually called upon to go outside, (du
ring shower Of rain) to oblige lady. SHOULD
like to lady ever doing the same for gen
tleman. @ E
| remain, sir, (and intend remaining as long as
CAM AN OLD BACHELOR, HSt CD. =
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