The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1850-02-16
Cousin Sally billiard.


We think il high time that cousin Sally Dill.
lard Captain Rice and Nose" were again
brought to the memory Of the public We have
read and laughed at the narration at least hun.
dred times and should not fail to enjoy it, were II
to fall under our notice daily for a year to come
scENE-A COURT OF JUSTICE IN SoRTH CAROLINA
bearlless Disciple Of Themis rises, and thus
addresses the Court: MAY it please your wor.
ships, and you gentlemen Of the Jury. since il has
been my fortune good or bad, ! will not saw to
exercise myself in legal acquisitions it has never
betallen me to be obliged t, prosecute so direful
marked and malicious an assault-a more wful
violent, dangerous battery, and finally more d
abollca breach of peace has seldom ha opened in
civilized country, and dare say it has seldom
been your dutyto pass upon one so shocking to
benevolent feelings, as this which took place over
at Capt Rices III this county. But you will hear
from the witnesses.
The witnesses being sworn two or three were
examined and dcposed--onc said that he heard
the noise, and d not see the fsht--another that
lac seen the row. but didn't know who struck first
and third, that he was very drunk and couldn't
say much about the skrimmage
Lawyer Chops--l am vory sorry. gentlemen
to have occupied your time with the stupi lity of
the witnesses examined. II arises, gentlemen al
together from miSapprehension on my part Had
known, as now do, that had witness in at.
tendance, who was well acquainted with the cir.
cumstances Of the case, and who was able tomako
himself clearly understood by the court and iury
should not so long have trespassed upon your
time and patience. Come forward, Mr. Harris, and
be sworn
So forward comes the witness f.t shuffv old
n "l,ptlu' arruaA opI ,n,,l, hi ,,;,l
air.
Chops-Ilarris We wish you to tell all about
the riot that happened the other day at Captain
Rices, ani as good deal of time has already been
wasted in cilcumlOcu,ion, we wish YOU to be com.
rendious, and at the same time as explicit as pos
sible
Observation-Disclosures the lawyer know.
ing wink, NJ the same time clearing his throat
Captain Rice he gin treat, and Cousin Sally
billiard she came over to our house and axed me
If my wife she mount go. | told Cousin Sally
Dllinrd that nv wife was poorly, being as how
she had the rlcumatics in the hip. and the big
swamp was in the road, and the big swamp was
up, f1r there had been heap of rain lately, but
howsomeyer as It was she cousin Sally billiard,
my wife she mout 20 Well, cousin Sally Dill
lard then asked me if Nose he moutnt 90 l told
cousin Sally billiard that he was the foreman Of
hut howsomevcr, MS i, was she cousin Sally Dill
lard, Nose he mout go
ChopS-ln the name ofcommon sense Mr. Ear
ris, what do you mean by this rigmaroc'
WtneSs-Capt. Rice he gin a treat and cousin
Sally Diliiard she come over to our house and az
ed me if my "iie she mount g. ] told cousin
Sally billiard
Chops-S'op sir if YOU please We don, want
to hear any thing about your cousin Sally billiard
and your wifc--te'l US about the fight at Ri,c's.
Winess.-Well, will, sir that i, if you will
let me
Chops-Well sir 20 on,
Nitucs,--Mcll. Capt Rice lie gin treat, and
cousin sally Diliinri ,he come over To our house
and aEei me il my wife she moutn't go
Chops-lhere it is again witness, please to
stop.
Wi;ness-Well, sir, what do YOU WANT
Chops--We want to know about the fight, and
you must hot proceed in this impertinent story
Do you know anything about the matter before
the court
Witness--To hc sure do.
Chors.-WelI, you go on aud tell it, and nothing
else
Witness-Well Capt Rice lie gna treat
Chops-ThiS ia intolerahle May it please the
court, move that III, witness bo committed for
contempt; he seems to be triflmg with this
court.
Court-Wtncss, you are now befurea court OF
Justice, and unless you behave yourself in more
becoming manner, YOU will be sent to iai so be.
GIN and tell what YOU know about the fight at
Capt. Rce's.
Witness (alarmed)-W gentlemen. Captain
Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally billiard
Chops-I hope this witness may be ordered
into custody.
Court (aftcr celebrating Mr., Attorney the
court Is of the opinion that we may save time by
telling the witness to 20 on in his own way. Pro-
ceed Mr.. Harris, with your story, but stick to the
point
Winess-Yes, gentlemen; well, Captain Rice
he gin treat, aud cousin sally come over to our
house and axed me If my wife she nout 20. |
told cousin Sally billiard that my wife she was
poorly, being as how she had the rhcuma,ics in
the hip, and the big swamp was up; but howsom
ever sit was shtecousin Sally billiard, she mout
60 Well, cousin Sally billiard then xed me if
Nose he mount go. / told cousin Sally billiard
as how Nose, he was the foreman of the crap, and
the crap was smartly in the erase but howsomev-
er, as it was she cousin Sally billiard Nose lie
mout go. So they goes ON together Nose, my
wife, and cousin Sally billiard, and they como
to the big swamp. and it was up ,as l
WAS telling YOU; but being rs how there was
log across the big swamp, cousin Sally billiard
and Nose, like gcntcel folks, they walked the log
but my wife like darncd fool, hoisted her coats
and wadcd through-dnd that's all knoT about
hefgM
Mrs Partmg,on says that while her poor denr
husband WAS s,ck with the three fevers, the Ply
IA. LAD