Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1850-07-19
OTTUMWA, IOWA, JULY 10, 1850.


Lotion VS.. Ba1sam.
We derive the annexed communica
ztion from correspondent:
} There are probably many people nov
Irving, who remember the celebrate.
fquack doctor, Reuben Nathans, VIII,
fourished some forty years since, ant
Whose medicines, "The Chinese Balsan
Eof life," and the Accelerated Hair In
svigorating Lotion" made so much noise
Fat that time. But few, presume, hav.
heard of the anecdote am about to re
late concerning him
When the "Doctor's'' medicines were
first announced to the world, a simple
minded laboring man purchased one cot.
tile of Lotion and another of the Balsam
1 for his wife, who had a consumptive
cough o. many years. standing, and was
beside, threatened with the total loss oil
| her hair.
The woman used both remedies &C.
.cording to directions. and as is usua
with ignorant people in such cases
Thought they were really doing her Q
vast deal Of good. The cough seemed
ito her to be going away rapidly, she
|..brea,hed freer." while her hair appeared
ito be coming back again thicker thar
ever. As natura. consequences
Ishe felt very great confidence in the
medicines; and when her first lot of bal.
|sam was all used, she sent her husband
Ito get the bottle filled again. The doctor
asked the man how the medicine opera.
tied.
"Oh. grandly! replied the husband;
my hairs all coming back again as
fiery as ever it was"
"Ah," said tie doctor, "tha,'s the way
my medicines always work. There's
no mistake about them. They're JUS,
what call them-the greatest wonders
|of the age I'spose you've no objec-
ton to give me your affidavit, eh!"
"Oh, no." replied the man, s'tha.'s lust
what my wife wants me to do"
The couple then repaired to the May
or's Office, where an affidavit was drawn
up, sworn to, and Witnessed. On re-
turning 10 the Doctors shop, the quack
took up the empty bottle for the purpose
of reflling il. Uncorking it, he put il
to his nose and smelled of it.
"Why, wha, can this mean!" he ex-
claimed in some astonishment; and then,
after looking at the label, smelled of j.
again. r"Why, sir, this isn't balsam,
though the label says SO, but the .hair
loiionr"
..Hair lotion or not" replied the man,
pointing to the bottle, .'that's what cured
my wife's dreadful cough, and the stuff
in the bottle at home made her hair grow
again."
"Strange! Strange!" repeated the doc
tor, with puzzled countenance; don't
know what 10 make Of it. Will you be
kind enough,sir, just to step back and gel
me the other boiile-the hair lotion,
mean"
The man did so, and soon returned
with the lotion bottle. The doctor took
it up and applied his nose to the mouth.
Sand this" said he, sis just as sure
the balsam, as the other is the lotion.--
Don't you think there was some mistake
on your part, sir! Are you sure thai
what was in this bottle made your wife's
hair grow again!"
AUST as sartain as I'm alive" replied
the man; sslor | always turned il out
while Betsev held the SPOON"
The doctor sat down in chaif. and,
laying finger on his nose, seemed buried
i'm profound thought.
"Ah, ! see!" he at length exclaimed,
land jumping up he filled the empty bot
|tle again. "There, sir" said he, giving
lit to the man and hurrying him to the
Idoor; sails right, sir; | was little both
erred, that's all. Call again when that's
|gone, and you shall have another fol
nothing"
AS soon as he had shut the door on
This customer, the doctor called in his
.sconfdential' man from the laboratory.
'sMoshes," said he, swe'ye made q
Ygreat mistake in our guess work. after all
live been studying YER hard lately, and
| have Just discovered that our lotion il
the stuff to cure the coughs and the con.
sumptions, and the balsam is the best to
make the hair grow! We must change
the labels
"That's unluckly," replied the man
"for we've got four thousand bottles, two
thousand Of each kind, oil ready to send
Eaway Tomorrow"
"Vel. VEL" said the doctor, you car
change the labels if you have time; i
mot, send them off as they are. sTisn'l
mosh matter
Increase Of the Army.
ConCress. Inv n recent Act. has in