The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1836-1851, 1850-07-02
TWO DOCTORS.


Minister-Good morning, Doctor; how
are all your patients9
Doctor-Doing we'll have excellent luck,
don't l!
M.-Yes you do how do you get along SO
well how do you treat them!
d. will tell you. Iexhibit such remedies
as operate on forty pair of nerves and the bran
ches, consequently the whole system feels the
influence ofmy remedies, and my patients get
we'll. But your remedies, only effect ten pair
ofnerves, consequently but few of your patients
get well.
M.-But, Doctor, how is that You say I
prescribe for forty pair Please explain.
d. will explain, as every Doctor of Divin-
ity should understand. You, sir, apply all of
your remedies to the brain, and from the brain
emanate ten pair of nerves; thirty originate
in the spine and to them you make no applica-
ton. The Jews understood this, and when
they punished criminal with stripes, they gave
him thirty nine pair of nerves. Paul said, thrice
have | received forty stripes save one. But
DIR. Willis has since discovered another pair
ofnerves, which is called the accessory nerve
of Willis. Had the Jews known there were
forty pair, they would no doubt have given for.
ty stripes Now, for you to be successful in
saving your patients, you must preach to forty
pair of nerves, and you will have great success
M.-Well, Doctor, please tell me how shall
preach to forty pair of nerves. You say pre-.
scribe for ten pair originating in the BRAIN
Now, Doctor, i'll reach the brain, then through
the brain | reach the heart, aud the man is
saved.
D.-Reverend sir, do yon know that the heart
ls muscle, and is no more in itself considered
than any othermuscle OF the body, and thenerves
leading to the heart originate in the head and the
spine, hearts diseased frequently
apply remedies to the spine, and so with every
other internal organ. The nerves run from the
spine to those orgaus and you, reverend sir,
should exhibit such remedies, and in such aman-
ner rs to effect every nerve in the body. Your
patients are all criminals, and you should give
them thirty-uine or forty lashes lone for every
nerve) every Sabbath, and | think nearly all
your patients would get well.
M.-Doctor, do you apply your remedies to
the forty pair of nervess Ifso, pray tell me
what is your medicine!
D-Dear sir, | use all the medicines God has
provided as each case may require, having
special regard to the condition of every part OF
the body; and this is the secret why all my pa.
tents get well.
M.--Well, Doctor, how shall preach to cure
my patients!
D.-Dear sir, do as do. Use all the RENE.
dies God has provided. The remedies for you
to exhibit are the bread of life, the water of life,
and liberty to the captive, relief to the poor, e.
economy to the extravagant, industry to the Ia
.zy, knowledg sc to the ignorant, temperance to
the drunkard, truth to the liar, honesty to the
knave fearto the profane and to the Sabbath brea-
kers, and lastly, a free salvation to all. BY a
faithful exhibition of the above remedies, you
will see an amendment in all the symptoms of
your patients and your bill will be paid.
LOVE AND INsANITY.-A Paris lstter writer says
that some months since, Mad'Ile G.. an able pupil
OF the Conservetore, was engaged to be married
10 young man, by whom she was warmly loved.
Shs had money and he, poor fellow, had none.
The day was fixed. He went into the country to
get the necessary papers. The relatives OF the
lady took advantage OF his absence, plotted against
him. conceii tamWe was called, and her godfather
termination, as her friends could no longer ap-
provrhrr union. Noreply. He then, in the name
of the family, forbade her union. No reply. Sur
prise, indignation, grief had brought on nervous
contraction Of the tongue. For twelve hous she
could not speak. She recovered her speech at the
end of that period but she was, aud is insane.
"Do YOU think people are troubled as much with
feabotomary, now, doctor, as they used to be be-
fore they discovered the anti-bug beadsead I"
asked Mrs Partingion, Of the doctor OF the old
school who attended upon the family where she
was staying.
"Phebotomy, madam said the doctor, gravely
"s remedy, not disease"
"Well, WE'LL" replied she, "no wonder one gets
'em mixed up, ther is so many OF EN- We new
er heard in old times Of tensors in the threat, or
embargos in the head, or neurology all over U.s. or
CONSERVATION in the bowels, as we do nowadays.
But its all i'll wind that don't blow nobody no good
and the doctors flourish on it, like 4 green baze
tree But of course they don't have anything to
do with it-they can't make EN- come or CO."
The doctor stepped out with gentee bow,
and the old lady watched him till his carbrlolet
had turned the corner, her mind revolving the
intricate subject of cause and rliect-Paihyfndcr.
RoME.- The Pope has published an address
and explanation of the startling events his
reign, and commenting on the affairs OF the
Homan Catholic world. He especially stigma
t;snd tbe nrospcution of the Archbishop of Turin