Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1850-01-12
Washington, December, ls4s.
A PROSTRATE POLITICIAN.

CIrY PoLicE.-Ons day after the Election.
The following confabulation will explain il.
self:
Mayor-Ralph Hutchinson, you were er.
trica,ed from mud puddle in Race street,
last night; lying like beast, on your back.
Ralph-Hold, sir; that lying wont do.
Mayor.-Eiow sir-Lying! What do you
mean!
Ralph-You say was lying, like beast,
on my back. never saw q beas, lie on i,s
back Beasts lie generally on their bellies;
sometimes on their sides, but never on their
backs. Eh r-
Mayor-You lie every way. drunkard
is a BEAST and drnnkard commonly lies
on his back a
Ralph-lf he does, that's better than lying
in his throat. But was not drunk, sir, pre-
cisely; threw myself on the ground in
Fl. Of despair and unutterable anguish.
Mayor. On what account, pray!
Ralph-Can your honor be Whig and ask
that question? As soon as the terrible news
of our defeat came 10 my ears, fell into
swoon, with my face on the ground, just a.
if had been knocked down with brick bat.
Mayor-With your face on the ground -
But how does that account for your being
| found on your back!
Ralph-When had hin insensible for
about fifteen minutes turned over and look
ed upward, as if 10 see if there were any
dawnings Of hope for US. But all was impe-
netrabiy dark.
Mayor-No wonder, when i, was half-past
twelve o'clock. ..
Ralph.-I saw what seemed to be glim.
merng star in the distance. This affords me
some comfort. The twinkling luminary drew
nearer and at last discovered it to be
lighted segar in the mouth OF ,ipsy watch
man. He took the weed out Of his potato
trap; spit about half a pint of rank tobacco
juice in my face, and than asked me what
was doing there, making hog Of myself
Mayor--Anda a very pertinent questidlVlt
was think. Now if you had sense enough
to see and observe all this, why didn't YOU
get out of the mud!
Ralph-Well, the sense of shame and dis.
tress fel, for the ruined prospects Of our par
~, made me feel like didn't care where
was. Thinks l, if Whiggery's gone 10 the
dogs, might as well go among the dogs; SO
wallowed in the mud like real grunter.
The ground was pretty dry when first fell;
but shed so many tears for the ruin of the
Wing cause, that made j, real quagmire.
Mayor-Humph! wonder you were not
afraid of being taken up as drunk.
Ralph-Why thought of that; but then
considered that if any fool of a watchman
should have the impudence to take me, your
honor would have sense enough to set all 10
rights. .i
Aayor-This tale will hardly do, MIR.
Hutchison; but considering all circumstances
YOU may go. Only take care not TO give way
to such ext's.agant grief another time, as my
successor might have intle discretion enough
to mistake your case for one Of intoxication.
Rapa-very likely, sir. Fll take your sd.
vice. Good morning, sir. Exit.
GREELEY ON CoBB.-Horace Greely, in
his "edltoriai correspondence" thus speaks
of the Democratic candidate for Speaker:
{, And lpt me say here that Mr.. Howell
Cobb is also man Of decided capacity,
tact and energy. Personally, I tareiy
know him, but in Parliamentary tactics
has no superio', and as presiding officer
lin committee Of the whole} he ever ey;o.
ced courtesy, decision with i.npartislity.-
His politics, general and sectional. are oe
the stamp cannot see the beauty Of: but
know no man holding like opinions rs-
sPecting the Slavery Extersion. the Tariff
&C., whom would sooner see chosenw
he 10 opposed to stealing, whether in the
form Of extrs allowance, double-and.twiaed
m'iesSr OF any other, and will give his sup
port whether ia the chair or On the 9oor,
10 mseaess a Esii.nl Ecusuey SOW
noY~lu us>akl s,ales