Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1850-10-18
From the Spirit of the Times.

1
| The Wrong jug.
!" haint never told none of you about tho t;ms
when the boys made sich terrible mistake ~ A.
jugs. has l. boys ." asked old Uncle Billy Ianders
of a crowd who had gathered around him dnr;na
court week in the town of l., Ala for Uncle R;ie
ly was great story teller and always s.had crowdn
when he was in town.
"No, let's hear it, Uncle Billy said dozen vol
ces
We'll, jest hand that corn sperrits over here q
mint first This here weather's so derned hot that
a white man of good raisin can't talk ,thout imbi-
bling occasionally
| Here the old man took a drink of the "sperrits
that would have rendered almost any other ma,
TIGHT, but which only made him talkative. Then
setting down the Jug he drew an old greasy silk
handkerchief from his pocket, wiped the perspira-
ton from his face, and commenced:
"Well, you see boys never likes to tell this here
story, cause amt disposed to be hard the poor
fellows but it's rally too good to keep. Last spring
lot on US, Job Dowdy, Ike Sturdivent, Joe Dobbs,
and some of the other boys in my DISTRICT concluded
we'd take load of truck down to Wetumpky and
sell it, and buy such little things the wmmin folks
wanted. We had mighty peart time of it goirt
down, which it was mighty lively crowd of us
Nothn curious iIterestin, though, didn't happen,
an we all arriv down to Wetumpky right side up
as they say the boxes of glass.
"Wetumpky is the derndest biggest place ever
hearn Of and do believe they has everything thar
an little more. Bookstores printing Offices, dreg
stores and Ticker shops, where they have more diff
terent kind of sperrits than we ever hears of way
down here in the backwoods-old Koniaek, bout
thousan year old, peach, rotgut, Tennessee, Monon-
gahay, and every other kind in the world and more
too. But, tell you, boys if you amt usen'd to it,
be keerful how you tech that truck what they call
shampane for it's the derndest stuff to fly inter fell
lers head you hearn Of One of them thar store
fellers, what had bought my cotton, tuck me down
to one OF the bar-rooms CHATS what they call the
Ticker shops) an called for shampane, an Ak
ed me to drink with him. and as that's somethin' yer
old Uncle Billy has objections to- Jest tuck
few drinks, an the way it set the old mans head a
spnnin' was cur Gus.
"Well, arter we'd sold out our truck, and laid in
what we wanted we tuck up our march for home,
which there was several of us, and good long string
OF wagons. When we got to the camp the first night
felt powerful tired which had walked good deal
and had takened good deal of sperrits with them
Wetumpky fellers, the derndest chaps for treatin
ever this child started up, an went to bed yearly,
leavin' the boys round the fire talkin bout matters
an things.
''Next mornin' got up, an found most all of em
was gone Oft from the camp, and them that was thar
looked mighty pale and sickly like. Thinks what
kin be the matter with these here BOYS You see
didn't suspicion nothn of them wasn't thar, cause
thought they waikiki about lookiH at the
try. Presently they commenced stragglin' in, but
all Of em looked pale and sick like them at the fire.
Thinks somethin's wrong, but never mind, We'll
what it is fore long. Ike Sturdivcnt's old mig
ger, Tom the cook for the crowd, and purity
soon the hoe-cake and ham was ready for us but
none of EN- didn't have appetite. Thinks l. them
there boys is been spreein of it last night, when
was asleep, and they feels bad this mornin'. Every
now an then of 'em would shoot eff like rock
ct, and come back arter little lookn' worse than
ever. Never mind ses l. 'somethins wrong
AFTER breakfast l commenced hitchin' up to
start but most of the boys looked like they too
sick to git eff an as didn't want to leave EN-, I'M
htched gin an tuck seat to watch. Some of em
was lynn the grass with their under their
heads, settn up against trees tryin to look like
they didn't feel bad, while some were settn with
| ther elbows Their knees, and their heads down,
loolin' for all the world like they had lost all Their
| re1ashuns. Arter had looked at 'em long enough,
| got up and went to the wagon, where had jug
| of ighty good Monongahaly and thought I'd give
the boys dram, and it might do 'em good. When
got thar, the whole thing was plain as daylight
Thar sot two jugs as ike as two pees, one kind of
stuck back in the wagon, whar had put it, and the
other se:tn' in front, with the cork out. You
them boys know'd had good Ticker in my wagon
which was better judge of the article than any of
en- SO, was asleep, they goes to the wa
gon to sample it but the two jugs so much a.
like. they got hold of one what had in tide yer
reckon mot Monongahaly but castor oil! Joe
Dobbs was the first what sampled it, an he was
determined the balance should be fooled as we'll as
him, and sent the others up, and thar they had
drunk, amongst EN- nigh to gallon of castor oil.
And didn't laugh when | found it out | think
you mout heerd me mile. Them boys mighty
sick all that day, but it larnt em a lesson hope,
not to be meddlin' with other peoples jugs. Jest
pass them sperrts this way, will you !-talkin'
makes mighty dry"
And the old fellow took another drink.