The Arkansas banner., 1850-01-22
tFrosn the washing,on Union. ] Mend Ihe Crockery.
]" Easy, good Lord. my wife is afraid of ,lunder.

Easy, good Lord, my wife is afraid of thunder. . | IIsmpesf.
 The gods were right when they made great men out of circumstances. and based principle OpOn self ishness. They preserved the equilibrium Of hu- manty betweeu devils and augels, and rendered h third party certain the exisiencs of the earth
 between the and the moon. The present. state of affairs is alarming. Bread refuses to rise mea who engaged to marry have deferred the honey HIOOn for more convenient season and a ceebFa- ted buttOn maker in Atteborongh has smashed be- cause Of the fear that constitu tonal but tons will be required for the United States trousers 1 While such feveTish excitement exists in the country, how kind it Is in the Second Washington to give us the assurances contained ia the follow | ing letter. We breathe freer and deeper and intend soOu 10 cut straps off. SO ss to give our patriotism room to stretch without breaking stitches but to the subject: here Is the .neni 1t will. iihs the boys chesaat speak for L.s.lf
 1 THE HEROIC AGE" | ExEcurivE MASMoN, SOUTHEAST Room, Near the New Fences, De, l6 lol9.
 My DEAR HEROIC AoE It was the ren,ork of the ilustrous Won PuffsndoH, in his notes upon the 1 Apocryphs, that human nature in short brooches was the same ss human nature in petticoats no matter how you combed the hair and that cockoio- rum was eockoiOruni, whether you spelt 1t with a | C ora K.
 1 The present condition of men and things in the Capitol of this republic proves conclusively the truth of the position taken by the old philosopher; and he who can't believe couldn't tell putty from soap, or old rye from the nectar of the gods All nations have been cursed with an abu ndance of men who felt within their secret souls that they were a head shoulders taller than a creation and that they, and they alone, could succeed to power by the suffrsges of their fellow citizens. | We recoect one occasion, tn oiden time, when music and every other heavenly maid was in pantaletts, that a certain town was beseged by an l enemy, and the citizens called together to de- wise tie best method of defence At this gathering, l a stone mason declared that stone and mortar | would alone be effectual a carpenter knew that framework and plank would do the business up 6rOra; blacksmith felt confident that iron would be invincible while a shoemaker swore ny all the gods that slept in the clouds, and dined he smell of roses, that there was nothing like leather We'll, so they went on arguing and debating, cussing and discussing. until at length the enemy burst in the gates and took the whole baud of disinterested pat riots prisoners, and led them into captivity. l We think that the peoples party in the House. who are all disuter~sted patriots should settle their disputes between cotton and stone, iron and leather, l black wool and white wool, and begin 10 do some- | thing against the common enemy; for depend upon it, if leather is the best, it will be adopted til the whole are captured, and not even honor 1 itself left behind to swear by.
 The elections for Congress have been taken at times wide apart, and under a change Of circum- stances such as to justify us in declaring that the precent will of the people is not represented the l floor of the House of Representatives at all. Why, then, should the democracy. who have by scciden- tai circumstances got the nominal vctoryl That | would be enough in Gods name, to upset our ap. ple-cart, and play the deuce with the whole litter | of powder monkeys in our service.
 it is appsrent that organization is sine qua | just now, and don't button who sits in the chair and plays captain we know that. with our appliances and Tom Ewing, we can make both ends meet at the end of the year. if they don't meet already and, in the language of the Yelled Pro- phet of khorasin--
 "The race Is not unto the man
 | What does the swiftest run,
 | Nor the batte4 to the peopeH
 What fires the biggest gun"
 But we must have an organization. the whole country will be turned up, hung down. with the bnng out, and all the good liquor of the republic will run away and do nobody good. Then all you original Taylor men, who,~we must say, are l doing plaguy poor business for us, forbear aud do something sensible. If you split both parties | up upon Speaker. you will split up from break fast to appetite. Like the frogs in the pond when the boys stoned them, we are ready to excaim, .It may Ge fun to you, but il is death to us!'' IL Is said 10 see everything going stern foremost to the devil before our eyes for the want of leader and unless this matter is brought to " crisis with focus' pretty soon vel be tetotay exfiunctifed if don't veto the Nilmot Proviso ou the ground hop, and give you the play of hAMLEr-the part of Hamlet omitted by particular deslre You eau play cheek and fox aud geese in the House, aud such innocen; games, if you like but we give you due 1 notice that We can make game of double-decke ed poker which will break you all at the first shuttle and let tell you, in all candor, that t is soon l coming, with no postponment on account of the weather.
 l Why can't you organlze7 Have you no one in your body it for SPeakerl Is the Sp.skership fl, | for nobody7 If this is so. what an awful set of | fellows you have got and the sooner you expel a bakers dozen or two, tho better it will be for you and the country.
 You need not expect to dissolve the Union until after kuekleberry time, if at all and for picking the Republic and saving il in that way. that is all humbug We propose 10 give the Union dose of calomeI when the system gets right, aud then to | work of all the impurities with the castor-oil of consolation. If under srch circumstances there should be dispensaon of gripes, 1t will be the fauI, l of the disease, and not of the medicine. Extras are not charged for in constitutional cases. Peculiar circumstances, which now commu- nicate 10 you conhdentiay require us to go to the 1 Dickins for the Union. We have bought new plantation. predscated pon the prompt payment of our salary; and if from any cause the supplies should be cut of, we shall have to 6umHr -w hich. for 10 do, have declared, and still declare to 1 be an impossbility
 It makes but little difference to us how you swal-
 low the eel of discord fl you only get down past resurrection. Cape and swallow, stretch and slraia, suck aad wrlgEle. until you bolt the monster. We have seen q small snake in our day swallow large toad without sweet oil, though il is true he used a plepty of perseverance; and VIC think you can do something in the gaping and s,raiiosciaq line which will be handsome for pos,erity lo admire. even in the heroic age. Yours in the flesh.
 ZACk WASHINGTON. The serpent.
 1 correspondent inquiries of Major Noah-"Is
 there any authentic description of the serpent which
 tempted EvS in Paradise to the forbidden fruit7''