Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1850-01-22

thing more to conquer and where were
the wise men that they did not point out
the grand field of self-conquest? Often,
as felt | had mastered my disease, or
was on the eve of doing so-the very Sue
cess created vacuum which reproduced
it. Corporeally well, mentally i'll, follow
ing the routine with slackened pace, the
Iphantoms of disease haunted me, and hope
and faith, by turns, triumphed and eXpr-
ed. BY day struggled with my weak
ness, BY MIC ght | dreamed dreams. If |
took douche-bath fancied was set up
on, the same night, by the water-demon
in Undine, or that was n foaming cascade
shooting over an immovable rock; 10 the
fountains al It's base-IriSh girls, pictures
of symmetry and Celtic beauty, resOrted
te fill their pitchers; or, if drank much
and bathed, | was astanding water-tub for
chattering washerwomen. Going TO bed
after cold dip, or with umschlags around
my stomach, | Twas converted into pulpy
mass, from which water issued forth con-
tinuallv. This was abominable This
was more than English fortitIIde could
endurc-and loath as have ever been to
make an oath, after the recurrence of these
ghosts of fancy, with the relation of cause
and effect, | was near swearing, in ft OF
wrath, | would not make my interior
water-tank, or my exterior a breakwater
again. Such dreams are unnatural Ma
ture rebeled ; nature seemed to say,
was made for more animal purposes and
the seer informed me, that water was
no porridge-remedy to be trifled with, i'm
prudently that | had drank too much,
and bathed without rule or reason"
Infne, hydropathv was unattended with
permanent benefit, though the patient re-
cords qualified praise of the system, when
he tells us,
"I.ooking back TO my probation in hy-
idropathy, | sec no reason TO regret subJec-
ton to its routine, for it furnished me some
useful hints in taste, temper, and general
usage, which have added much to the COM
forts of life. Not the least important Of
these is the cold sponging, friction, and
water-drinking and the plain fare, which
is worthy the attention Of all, who, like
the Venelian noble, would prOIong llie,
and render it useful, hale and painless"
! Next he turns to homeopathy, taking
doses of the millionth and billionth part
of a grain, but getting impatient under this
treatment, he is temporarily relieved by a
warm bath and shampOoing. After brief
interval the malady returns with greater
force than ever, and Hyp. is induced to
place himself under the care of brace OF
foreign herb doctors, who tell him he is
consumptive, and treat him to some inval-
liable pills, which, on anal lysis, are found
to be composed of Java pepper, conserve
of hips and haws, and deadly poison.
IOr course he soon had enough of these
professors, but he was scarcely more for
tunate in the treatment pursued by the
next operator, who, under pretence OF re-
storing his system, buried hin. TO his arm
pits in hot sand from the Lybian desert,
at the same time dropping ether by single
drops on his head from given height.
The result of this semi-interment was an
attack of bronchitis, which, after vain
resort to walers," promising instantane,
Gus relief, sent him TO an educated pracu-
toner, who cured this and his other symp-
toms. and put him on his legs again. The
IhippfShness, however, is not subdued, and
at the next assault, the restless sufferer
submits to try the effects of mesmersm.
A SeanCe is held, at which he is " the OBJ
served of all Observers" he is placed en-
ropDori with fascinating demolsele, who,
looking into his past, present and future,
makes sundry striking revelations, sufti-
cent to induce in Hyp.'s mind hesitatng
belief that mesmeriSm is "full of truth. y
Its curative, effect, however, was null, and
the unhappy wight, in search OF recovery
was doomed 10 become the prey OF pre-
tended charlatans of high and low degree,
,oiry the whole round of quackery, TO be
0drugged, pantomined, placed in (celes-
itiaN bed, fed, starved, watered, bathed,
shampoocd, washed, curried, bolused. pill
ed, draughted, sweated, and vomited, and
all to no purpose" At last he fell INTO
the hands of crew more ruthless than all
their predecessors, set of empires who,
conspiring with his servant, tleeced him
Ibv costly exactions, while their medlca-
ments were Systematically designed to
create and maintain declining state OF
health. Preserved, by the upbraldlng
conscience of his domestic, from the fate
in store for him under this internecine
treatment, meeting with an early friend
brings proplious aid, and means of uIn-
mate recovery. The recipe which finally
gave ease and contentment of mind was
simple enough, and it is given in avery
few pages at the fag-eld of the volume.
Heartfelt occupation, rational pleasure, an
interest -" in books and the poor's welfare
the best of the dead and the most Chris
rian of the living" are prescribed as anti
iIotec IN tho bynnchondriacal DOlSOn-rem-