The Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn. Territory) 1849-1855, 1850-08-01
ST. PAUL MINNESOTA TERRITORY THURSDAY AUGUST

and it is natural for love to take blame,
rather than lay it on the beloved OBJ
ject, just as it is natural for love to wish
to suffer for another. Then never utter,
never oct a lie. Never put on any show
Of seeming-never use an art of duplicity
or cajolery, or wheedling for any pur
pose, or with any one. Do not UNDER
stand by this that any "art Of affection"
is wrong--that coaxlng and endearments
are degrading. 1t is right to kiss
/ father, or mother, or husband, or bro
ther, in return for any favor, or--no,
not as remuneration, but just to do as
you wish, only let the subject be fairly
! understood. Deal candidly truth
in all sincerity. With husband that
candor should be commenced before
marriage, and it should be on both sides.
! We believe that much more suitable Sc
/ lections would be made in the choice of
partners, were the parties TO reside III
the same family circle for time, during
which both should be engaged in their
usual avocations. Each should make
| it point Of honor to make the other
acquainted with his or her faults or fol-
! bles. Then courtship would not be
dream, and marriage the awallening.-
As it is, most marriages are commenced
| in deceit on both sides, and consum-
mated like any other piece Of acting in
stage scene, where the bridal custom
is the cLief attraction. The happy
couple find out in week, that each
have been most egregiously mistaken
in the other, and If they are prudent,
they live in a suspension Of hostllltles
for life.
Most Of our unhappy marriages are
Of this class; and what to do with them,
how to mend matters is the question!
But better late than never. Commence
system of truth and cand or--ot fair
dealing, and never, for any emer-
gency depart from it. This is apPlica-
bic to both-but we are talking more
especially to wives-and DO not surfeit
your husbands with caresses. DO not
teach him to think all your reserve mod
esty and delicacy of girlhood were mere
traps. Courtship is represented as a
haven of enjoyment; be sure you pro-
long this until the last day of his lite, If
you live so long.
1t is no uncommon thing for newly
married people to do like children, get
sick on sweet-meats; then after the fair
. wife, for want of something else to do,
has twined her arms around "dear
Charless" neck, until it is weariness to
both, she places herself upon his knee
and kisses his beautiful! eyes" by way
of variety. There is no time Of wo-
mans life when the want Of some regu-
lar pursuit is so much felt as just after
marriage 1t is generally the time she
has least to do, and it is the very time
when pursuit of absorbing interest
would save her from a world of mistake
and misery The husband has great
deal to think about Now that he has a
wife to provide for, his business becomes
doubly interesting. If she was doing
anything before this, she is sure to quit
lt--she goes to board, or if she keeps
house, her furniture is new, her family
small, she has clothing enough made up
for year. No sewing, no visits to
mantuamakers-nothing to think abou,
but her Charles; and nothing to do but
to caress him-''live for him" Well,
the Great Creator, when he made wo-
man did not make her for this purpose
did not make her for this purpose alone
did not make her for an appendage tc
mana creature to love and be loved, ,
and nothing else. He gave her all the
faculties Of mind and body to a distinct
and separate existence. All these fac
ultics, save the one of loring, are lying
dormant--that one, from over culture
becomes a kind of overgrown mushroom
The course Of nature Is perverted, anC
, misery is the result. No doubt there i.
a great variety Of causes, but a large
amount of all the unhaPpiness of earl
married life, could be ameliorated if no
cured, by "somefhing 10 d." and, by a!
much dignity and reserve as would pre-
vent The deiiy--ihe angel, "the ruling
, destiny of my fate" of yesterday, from
I being converted into the tame kitten 0
+ to-day. But now we have cofnmenced
= we must make this the subject of ano
f ther article