The Athens post. [volume] (Athens, Tenn.) 1848-1917, 1850-05-03
CONNUBIAL FELICITIES.
Sitting Room-Good fire.
Wife on one SIDE, Husband on the

Wife. What are you going to
give me for Christmas present this
year, dear?
Husband. Christmas present, my
love !-l1ow can you ask for such Il
thing, when YOU know how much ]
am pushed for money to pay my
honest debts? told you this morning
that woul! be obliged to raise Il
large sum against New Years day.
and as yet know not where it is to
come from.
w. know You did my dear; but
then you know q fe'o dollars won't
make any difference.
H. Jane, YOU talk in very lidi-
culous manner. Any body else might
say the same to me with equal justice.
and have many friends and poor
ncighbors. whom, if possible, feel it
my duty to assis, at this season Of the
year. Now YOU don't really require
anything. You have everything
comfortable around you, us far as
can judge.
W. AS far as you can judge. LET
me tell you, Mr.. Penguin, that you
have no judgment at aN in household
affairs. Don't you suppose ! wish TO
be considered as respectable as those
! associate with! Now have invi
ted company to be here on New
Years day. and | want to LIT them
see that Jane Penguin can have as
good set out as they can. called
on Mrs. McShow this morning, and
she showed me the preltiest pair OF
vases that her husband gave her yes.
terday, and Mrs. Flafe has got the
ncalcst and most magniticcn! mahog.
any extension tables ever saw, and
they took so much pride in showing
them to me. that felt cheap to think
mn husbuad couldn't show as much
attention to me as other gentlemen
do their wives.
II. Ny dear Jane, you are getting
yourself in Il passion.
w. No | amt any such thing, it
is YOU who are in ra-c, because |
asked you for Christmas present.
H. Well my dear, as ! said be
fore, you need nothing, and | would
feel myself really guilty, were | to
yield TO your notions on this subject.
which see originate solely in Il dc.
sire Of rivalry. Now if had few
dollars to spare (Which have not,) |
would esteem it my first duty TO re-
Ilcve the distresSes of those whom !
know to be in INDECENT circumstances.
There was poor Mrs. GrooIy who
has been sick for a long time. ] CAL
led to see how she was yesterday.
and found the poor creature with her
daughter, sitting up sc wing without a
particle of fire to warm her chilled
and attcnuated frame with, and-----
W. ] suppose you opened your
heat and sent her some wood, d;un'l
you?
II. Yes, my love! | did, and felt a
glow of pride and happiness thrill
through me to think that had been
made the humble instrument Of send
ing comfort to that hearth.
:. w. And pray how old is her
daughter'
H. Well-.about seventeen, ! should
think.
w. Is she pretty?
II. UncommonIy.
W. (ma,age) There thought
so. | guessed that all this charity
wasn't without some motive. All
you hypocrte! see it all now. You
the humble instrument. You are the
devils instrument. Where does this
woman live! insist, Mr.. Penguin,
upon knowing where she and her vile
daughter live.
II. You must excuse me from
telling you. my dear, in your present
excited state.
w. That's right Heap insult
on insult. Add to your vilany by
abusing your wife. But see how 1t
is! won't live with you any longer!
I'll quit you ard 90 home, so | will
I'll not be treated in this way any
longer. You base man, you! EcH
oys IN tears
Husband soius. This is pleasant
-VVhat Il cursed fool ! was to get
married, to be sure! Exit to bed -
BoS. Herald.
A DoCToR's JoKE.--A well known
physician, in a certain city. was very
much annoyed by an old lady who
was always sure 10 accost HIM IN The
street. for the purpose OF telling over
her ailments. Once she met HIM
when he was in a very great hurry.
"hh! see YOU are quite feeble,
said the doctor; "shut your eyes and
show me your tongue"
She obeyed, and the doctor moved
off lea vinp her STA ndinu there for some