The North-Carolina standard., 1850-01-02
THE MEssAGE CONDENSED.

THE MESSAGE CONDENSED.
We are indebted 10 s. Heroic Ago" Of the Union.
for the following condensed sketch Of the
Message. The scream Of the - document. as our
readers will perceive, is presented below:
FeLo,c-eitizeas, 4e. st
/. Our eagle is sixty years old, and, in spite of
evil prophets, stouter than the stoutest. :
3. Congress responsible for everything from Ply
mouth Rock to Posterity.
3. At peace with all the world, and anxious to be
so with the reat gf n'ankind. Query: Who are the
rest?
4. Blest with abundance cursed with the chole-
ra-better for punishment-and thankful that it's
over.
5. Not insensible to wars in Europe; but, thank
God, we have had no hand in them.
6. Friendly with Great Britain; ready for recipro-
city and exchange of Slightly indispos-
ed towards France, through convalescing, and anx-
ious to get somebody in exchange for Billy Rives.
Z. Knocked the German steamer in the head with
the constitution, and black-balled predecessor
8. Hunted after the German empire for Eve months;
not finding it. abolished the mission, Opd sent the
furniture to Prussia.
9. Nipped the Round islanders in the bud; brought
back Rey found nobody guilty, but think somebody
should be punished.
10. Gave the continental wars wide berth, and
would have acknowledged Hungary, if there had
been any Hungary left by the Russian bear to ac-
knowledge. Mem. Every Hungarian soldier is a
major
IL. Squared accounts with Portugal, and hope to
get the balance.
l2. Exceedingly amiable with eight particular
govemments-of course not included in the world or
the rest of mankind.
Is. Have not spoken to the Pope yet-govern-
ment not stable enough for our money.
IA. Policy requires US to humor Mexico, keep our
faith with her, but plague take the Protocol.
Is. Began the boundary of California, but the mon
l6. Wanted, United States lawyer to keep
American claimants from cheating the Mexican COM
mission.
IL. New Granada, failing contractor for the great
Pacific mal-reported her to herself for punishment.
lS. Venezuela ro,voyish, but quiet enough now to
be made to pay for the American crockery she has
smashed.
ls. California being ours, it makes caix neigh
Dor to be sOarmy cherished.
20. Same to all the other Southern American States
In posse esse.
81. Brazil will fork over what she owes us, if we
will smuggle no more negroes into her ports.
%. Central America has gone to non-entity, and
of the old firm.
%. Made contract with Nicaragua for canal,
and invited the world to help US build it.
81. Tehuantepec and Panama important places.
The Sandwich Islands some, for stopping-place.
25. Treasury broke by the Mexican war year
after it finished deficit sixteen millions loan
and economy recommended to pay it.
26. New tariff wanted old one not specific.
g. If sub-easury is continued, it must be changed.
%. Nothing done for agriculture a bureau requir-
ed for it in Department of the Interiors bookcase in
sufficient.
90. California and New Mexico to be welcomed
when they come, how they come, and as they come,
and no questions asked.
| 30. Revenue of California to be spent there, and
the balance to be expended in rivers and harbors.
81. Lighthouses wanted in the Pacific, and bIoys
to attend them.
%. Indian agencies sent after the Indians.
33. Wanted, an honest man to look after Mexi-
can land titles and United States gold mines.
81 The great central railroad from the Atlantic to
the Pacific trunks and all, the panacea for every evil.
IS. The army too rank.
36. The navy too rusty.
81. War steamers nice things for poor people.
&c. Post-ofices in California too expensive, post
age too high, and franking privilege intolcrable.
80. Census to be taken genteelly; more soap re-
quired.
40. Congress, daddy of the District of Columbia,
and bound to support its child in handsome manner.
Al. Veto constitutional medicine seldom requir-
ed yet sometimes necessary to preserve the system.
AZ. In conclusion, preserve the Union, be happy.
and, come what will, we'll stand by you to the Bit
ter end. Z. +.