Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1850-05-31
Seth Stokes

r, nam, what knows how to Manage the Women.
We'll. here am leetle the slickest criter you
ever did see travelled in all parts OF TINS unlver-
sal globe and must say, it is wonderful TO oDsarve
the opperatuns of natur big scale and there's
the women too the dear little critters tbs mracu-
lous to see how nicely they are dovetaled together
don't know how it is they always tallin in love
with me; they are always on the gggle when
speaks to 'em; expect it's my elegant figure; don't
! know what else.
I've heard some folks say the wimmen was lee
tie contrary well, they is leetle so, but if you
manage right-haul in here, and let 'em out there,
YOU can drive 'em along without whip spur, jest
which way you want em to go. When lived down
to Elton there was good many fine gals lived there,
hut didn't take likin' to any 'em, till Squire
Cummins come down there to live. The squire had
an almighty purity daughter SAID some OF the gals
was fust-rate, but Nance Cummins fust-rate
and leetle more. There was good many dressed
finer and looked grander; but there was something
Jam up about Nance, that they couldn't hold can
die to.
If a Teller seed her once he couldn't look at an
other gal for week. tux likn' to her right off,
and we got as thick thieves We used to go to
the same meetin' and sit in the same pew. It took
me to find the salns and hymns for her and the way
we'd we'd swell 'em out was a caution to hardened
sinners. Then we'd mOsey hum together, and the
gals and fellers kept lookin tho they'd like to
mix in. I'd always stay to supper, and the way she
could wake Injin cakes, and the way could slick
'em with molasses and put 'em away, WANT
ways gettin' somethin' nice. was up to the hub
in love- and goin' in for her like locomotive
Well things went this way SPELL till she thought
she had me tight enough then she begin to show off
independent like.
| When I'd 90 to meetin' there want no room for
me in the pew when she'd cum out she'd sneak off
with another chap, and leave me suckin' my fingers
at the door yes, and she kept cuttin round with all
the fellers just if she cared nothin' about me-
more-none whatsomedever. / got considerable RI
led, and thought might we'll come to the end on
| it at once. So down went to have it out with
her. There was hui grist of fellers there they
seemed mighty quiet till went in, then she got tai
kim all manner of nonsence said nothin' to me, and
darned little Of that. ] tried to keep my dander
down, but it want use l kept movin about
thaugh I'd had pin my trousers | sweat if I'd
been thrashin, my color hung down jest as though
it was hung over my stock to dry; couldn't stand
it, cleared out as could, for see it
no tryin to say nothin' to her. went straight
! to bed, and thought the matter spell Thinks
that gals Jest tryin TIA mt use OF her playn'
possum I'll take the kink out her. If don't fetch
her out of the high grass, me for sassage meat
Eve hearn tell Of boy that got to school late wunce,
ce, and the master says, You tarnal sleepy criter
what kept you late !' "Why,' says the boy, Its
so everlastin slippy, I couldn't get along no how;
every step took Forwards l went two steps back
wards and couldn't got here at all if hadn't tur-
back to go tother way" Now, that's Jest my case :;
I've been putin after that gals considerable time
now, thinks l. I'll slight her; what's SAGE for the
goose is SAGE for the gander. Well l didn't go to
see Nance more.
! Next Sunday slicked myself up, and due say
when get my fxins On, take the coat tail of any
specimen OF human natur in our parts. Well about
meetin' time off puts to Ethan Dodges. Patience
Dodge nice gal you'll see 'twixt here and
yOnder, any more than she wasn't Jest like Nance
Cummns. Eph Massey used to 90 to see her: he
was clever Teller, but he Dreadful jeus.--
Well, | went to meetn with Patience and set right
afore Nance | didn't set ewes on her till arter
tho hoH foil rhofh booI
and legs like pair of compasses and she had face
as long grace afGre thanksgivin dinner know'd
who she was thinkin about, and it want the chap
with the red head nuther. Well, kept boeing Pa
tience about spell, and kept my eye Nance, to
see how the cat was jumpin'. Tell you what she
didn't cut about like she did, and looked rather SOL
emcolly She'd gin her two eyes to kiss and make
up. l kept it up till like to got in mess about
Patience. The critter thought | goin arter her
! for good, and got as proud as lame turkey. One
day Eph. cum down to our place, lookin' as wrathy
as malicious oscifer on trainin day. = Look
here" says he, Seth Stokes" Jest as loud as small
clap of thunder, g I'll be darned" says he sHollo!"
says l. whats broke 2" q Why" says he 9: I cum
down to git satisfaction about Patience Dodge; here
I've been courtin' her since last grass and she
was jest as good mine, till you got gon' arter her
and can't touch her with forty-foot pole and
| am darnd if I'm goin' to stand it," Why" says
| [, what earth you talkin' about | ha mt
got nothin' to do with your gal, but spose | had,
there's nothin' for you.to get woolfy about if the
|
taken iken to her, tan't her falkland if we've
taken iken to one another tan't your fault: but
ant so almighty taken with her-you may have her
for me, you hadn't ought to git wrathy about no
! thin"
Well, now, thinks |, it's my time to look arter
Nance. Next day down | went, and Nance was all
alone | axed her if the squire in; she said he
WANT; cause, says |, (makin bleeve all the time,)
cause, says colts sprained his foot, and cum
to see if he won't lend me his to go to town.
She said she guessed he would better sit down till
the squire cum in So down l sot she looked sort
O. strange, and my heart felt dreadful queer all
round the edges and arter while, says /, "Are
you goin' down to Bets Martins quiltin'?" Said
she didn't know for sartain, e Are you goin'!n Sed
| reckoned would. SEES she, Il 'spose you'll take
Patience Dodge 2" ] said mout, and then agin
moutent SEES she, II hearn tell you're gon' to git
married. SEES l, - shouldn't wonder bit, Patience
is nice gall says l. Tell you what that brought
the tears. SEES l. May be she'll ak you to be brides
maid y and with that she riz right up and swow
her face looked jest red a billed beet. I" Seth
Stokes J" says she; she couldn't say more she
was chock full "Won't you be bridesmaid % says
|. 'No,' says she, and she boo-hooed right out -
" Will you be the bride ?" says |. She looked up,
and l swow to natur', to Jehue, to kingdom to cum
l never see nothin look awful purity TUX hold
of her hand. "Yes or MOI" says |, Fright off,
" Yes" says She That's your sort,' says |, and
l gin her a buss and if you won't say nothin about
it, I'll tell you what it tasted like it was as sweet as
new cider out of the bung.-Dr. Valentine and Yam.
kee Hills Metamorphoses.
A late number of the Knickerboeker contains some
amusing adventures of Yankee Doodle The follow