The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-11-06
The Master and his Darkie.

A JUDGEMENT FOR Cosrs-A NEW WAY TO
PuSIsH.-Old Captain Stick was remarkably
precise old gentleman, and Consistently just
man. lie was, too, very methodical in his hab-
its, one of which was to keep an account in
writing Of the conduct Of his servants, each day.
1t was sort of account current; and he settled
it every Saturday afternoon. No one hated these
hebdomadal doings more than Tony, the boy of
all work, for the Captain was generally obliged
to write receipt for considerable amount across
his shoulders.
One settling afternoon, the captain, accom-
panied by Tony, was toddling down to the old
stabble, with the little account book in one hand
and small rope in the other. After they had
reached the 'bar ofjustice,' and Tony had been
properly STRUNG up the Captain proceeded to
state his accounts as follows:
Tony, DIR.
Sabbah-To not half blacking my boots stripes
1uesdny-To staying hours at mill
longer than necessary. 10 stripes.
Wednesday-To not locking the hall
door at night. stripes.
Friday-To letting the horse 20 with.
ont water. stripes.
Total, rs stripes.
Tony, OR.
.honday-By first-rate days work in
garden, 10 stripes.
Balance due, Is stripes
The balance being thus struck, the Captain
drew his cow hide and remarked "Now Tony,
you black scamp, what say you, you lazy william,
why shouldn't give you fifteen lashes across
your back, as hard as | con draw
''Stop. ole massa,' SAID Tony, "dar's de
work in de garden, sir dat ought to tex off some.
"You black dog +" said the Captain, shave
not given you proper credit of ten stripes for that?
Come, Gomez
"Please, ole massa, said Tony rolling his eyes
about in an agony of fright, 'sdar's-you, you
forget-dar's de securing OBJ de floor-old missus
say neber scour as good before
"Soho, you saucy rsscal,' quoth Captain STICK;
you're bringing in more Offsets, are you? Well,
now there!' here the Captain made an entry up
on his book-'you have credit for five stripes and
the balance must be paid"
"Gor nifty, don't hit yet-dar's sumpen else
oh lord please dont-yes SIR, got 'un now
ketching de white boy and fetchn 'um to ole
lnissus, what throw de rock at de young duck. -
"That's fact" said the Captain, "the outra.
geous young vagabond-that's fact and III
give you credit Of ten stripes for it. l wish you
had brought him to me-now we'll settle the bal.
lance"
'Bress de Lord ole massa, said Tony, "dat's
ALL" Tony grinned extravagantly.
The Captain adjusted his spectacles with
great exactness, held the book close to his eyes
and ascertained the fact was, as stated by Tony
He was a little irritated.
"You swear off the account, you Internal ras
cal-you swear off the account do you?"
GAN de credit is fair, ole massa," answered
Tony.
ayes, but, but" said the disappointed Captain
--"but-but'' the Captain was sorely puz
zled how to give Tony few ticks any how
but an idea popped into his head-"Where's my
costs, you abomnble incorrigible scoundrel:
GU want to swindle me, do you, out of my costs
you black, deceitful rascal? and" added Captain
Stick, chuckling as well at his own ingenuity
as the perfect justice, Of the sentence, 81 enter
judgement against you, for costs-ten stripes
and forthwith administered the stripes and sat.
isfed Mejudgement
Two JoKERs CAUGHT IN THE MATRIMONIAL
NoosE.-The Meredith Bridge (N.H.) Demo
crat states that young lady at Centre Harbor
not many days since requested Squire Thomp
son, Of that place, to unite them in marriage
with which desire he complied-one Of them, il
is stated, agreeing to pay him five dollars for the
service, and the other promising an additional
compensation Of bushel orleans. The parties
now say they preferred their request for marriage
merely in fun; but the Squire informs them that
they are tied fast, and can't back out, the mar
rage having been legally recorded on the town
books as veritable contract.
Show do you get along without bar Bid
dy?"
"A bar! mister, sure; d. ye think ID be covetin
a bar or the likes oft -
"No; mean the net to keep out the musqui.
toes"
1.-THE What .
"Thc little flies that bite you a-nights.''
"Och yes! Thin little miss Kiny's Both.
er'em; their bills is perfect bladders."
| The BouNrY LAND LAw-The Secretary
Of the Department of the Interior has decided
that by his construction of the law recently pass.
ed, the same person shall not receive more than
one warrant, although he may have performed
service which, if rendered by several individu.
ais, would entitle each to warrant.
New CoINs.-The new three cent piece lately
authorized by Congress, has been issued from
the mint at Philadelphia. 1t is beautiful coin,
having on one side the words United States Of
America, in which is circular wreath. includ.
ling the numerical I'LL On the reverse side is
the liberty cap, inscribed with the word .Lber.
L W ~