The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-02-21
THE nApplnsr DAY OF MY LIFE.

The ancienis certainly made great mis-.
take in not choosing Nebo for the Goddess
OF Marriage. Hymen is by far too iollv Ia
IS all smiles--more of the hveua Than Tho
crocodile; whilst Niebo is just as she ought
to he--all tears There never vet was n
marriage that was not perfect ST. Switbin
affair No one--unless he have The soul of
guila pereha, thoroughly water proof-should
'hIn1 OF going 10 wedding with less than
rwo pocket handkerchiefs; and, even then,
asponge is better adapted TO to the stioyful
occasion" Men take their wives as ,bev
do pills, with plenty of wa,er-excen,ine
indeed, when the "lite things" are well
gut II a kind of matrimonial barometer
were Kept in each amiiy, and its daily indi.
cations as 10 The state of the weather n, tho
hrsl-Side accurately registerep, we have M
uouo' mat on the average being taken the
following results wJuld be arrived att
De'ore marriage, Fair.
Du''''s Mari age, Wet.
A''e' 'larFlase' Stormy
Meierologically speaking, it would be hiyh.
y Interesting could we arrive at a knowl.
ed9e OF The exact amount of "doon nrevail.
ing during conrtship. Nobody can feel
more nuly wrelched than on the han,;es,
day OF his life. A wedding is even mora
melancholy than funeral. The bride
w'cps tor everything and nothing. AT first
She 5 hear-brokcn because she's abou, "a
leave her Pa and Ma; because sLs bones
ana trusts Charles will always love her. and
when no other excuse is left, she bursts into
tear' because she's afraid he will not brino
the rlng with him. Mamma, too, is deter.
mined TO cry Tor the least thing. Her dear.
dear 9lr Is going away, and she is cerhin
something dreadful is about to banoen and
goodness gracious! she's forgotten TO lock
The dining room door, with all the wine and
plate on the table, and three strange prssn.
"rocers il the house. At church the ya,e,
Is laid on at eye service; indeed: the whols
party look 50 wreiched, no one would i'm.
ag'ne there was 'happy pair among them.
When Papa gives away his darling child he
does It with as many sobs as if he was han.
ding her over 10 the fercest po!ygamist since
Henry the Eighrh-instcal of bes,owing her
on one who loves his ''lamb," regardless of
the 'mlnt' sauce that ACCOMPANIES her
The bridegroom sniyels either because cry.
ing" ra'chlng, or because he thinks he ought
Tor decencys sake, to appear deeply moved;
and the haif-dozen bridesmaids are sure to
DC all weeping, because everybody else
"eepS When the party return home, how
ever. the thoughts of the breakfast cheer
them up liule and the bridesmaids. in
particular, feel quite resigned to their fate.
As if they had grown hungry by crying, or
the Tears hal achetfea their appetiles-they
drown Their cares for awhile in the white
soup mreeu. The champagne goes off, and
@oes round. = Then the father gets
up, and after a short aud pathetic euloaium
upon the virtues of thrt "sweet GIRL" whom
he he cloves as his own flesh and blood,n
thumps the table, and tells the company that
''any man who would not treat her properly
wonl'rhe scoun,hcl" Upon this every one
present turns round 10 look and frown at the
wrciched villain of brd groom, and thea
they all fall 10 weeping again. But so strong
y has the feeling SET in against the new son.
in-law, that it is only by speechiu of the
deepest paIhos, that he can persuade the
campany that he has not the least thought OF
numbering, or indeed eren assaul,inq his
wife. At last the mother, bride, and bride.
maids retire to say ''Cood bye,n and have a
good cry all together uo stairs Then the
blessing and the weeping begin again with
renewed vigour. AS at Vauxhall, they seem
T. keep the grandest shower for the last
The bridesmaids cry till their noses are quite
red. and their hair is is as straight as If thew
had been hahing-And when the time
comes for the happy pair TO leave, in order
TO catch the train for Dover. then the mother,
father, sisters, brothers, bride, bridegroom,
bridesmaids, and every sonl in the house, all
cry-even down to the old cook, "w no
knowed her ever since she were baby in
long clo;hes''--as if the young couple were
about 10 he "transporied for life" in the lit.
era! rather than the figurate sense of the
term.-Puneh.