Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1850-04-01

FALSE MoDEsTY.-What writers on A.
merlca have said about the disagreeable
false modesty of American women is too
true. scarcely ever saw an American
woman who could .ook and speak and &C,
with that natural and comfortable freedom
so visible in women of other Countries
Most Of the American women that saw
seemed afraid either to look or speak or
move in The presence of men. And it is
next to impossible for an Englishman to
avoid shocking them, if he talks much in
their hearing. He must never say any
thing about the males Of fowls, without
using some new Or roundabo form Of ex-
preston. He may talk about hens, but if
he should use the old English form in speak
ing of the hens husband, he would proba-
bly, find he had committed an unpardonn-
BILE offense. Even the use of such word
as 'cocS:fghtimg' would be too much for
the mock or morbid modesty Of many
HENS are allowed to be hens, but cocks
must always be roosters. 'rhen what
must we call the Peacock said 10 per-
son who was giving me instructions on
those delicate subjects,-'must we call it a
pea-roester9' The company laughed, and
my instructor joined In the laugh, and said,
-'W e should say the male of the pea fowl
JACOB BARKER.
COULDN'T CURE IlIM.-Eal-tea, and 9th.
er cures for drunkenness that human sci,
ence ever devised were tried in vain on Phi
lander Nishoils, the last-maker. Mrs.
Nichols has used some desperate RENE
dies, such as steaming large quantities. of
JalaP, aloes, ippecac, &C., in Philander's
grog; but he continued to drink with undi.
minished relish, ard the consequence OF
this dosing system were more troublesome
10 Mrs. Nichols herself, than they were
/ to Philander, her husband. Being dead
drunk every afternoon within half an hour
after he began his days jolifcatien, so rap-
idly did he pour down the liquor, he never
felt the slightest inconvenience or unpleas-
ant sensation on account OF the medicines
he had swallowed At last Mrs. Nichols
be,hought herself Of another plan for max.
ing reformed drunkard Of her lord She
engaged q watchman, for stipulated re-
ward 10 carry Philander to the atch house
while he was yet in state Of insensibility
and to frighten him little when he recov
cred. In consequence ofthis arrangement
Phiander walked up about eleven O'Clock
at night, and found himself lying on pine
bench in dim and strange department.
Raising himself on one elbow, he looked
around till his eye rested on man seated
by stove and smoking g segar.
"Where am ;" said Phllander.
Gin the medical college," answered the
segar smoker.
"What doing ,here2''
"Going to be cut up"
"How comes that?"
"Why, you died yesterday, while vor
were drunk, and we bought your bod tc
make a natomy."
s'll's lie, Pm not dead"
s'No matter, we bought your carcase
from your wife, who had a right to sell it,
for it's all the good she could ever make oi
you If your not dead, that's not the fault
Of the doctors, and they'll cut you up dead
or alive.''
"You will do it, Ell" asked the old sot.
GAY, to be sure we will; now, directly" /"
was the resolute answer.
"Well, can't you let US have a little
something to drink before you begin?"
This last speech satisfied the watchman
that Philander was hopeless case, and MS
his reward was contingent on his successful
treatment Of the patient, he was not little
chagrined at the result; so with no gentle
handling, he tumbled the irreformnble ine-
bria,e out of the watch hhouse.-PemnsyL
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