The Port Gibson herald, and correspondent., 1850-07-19
The Bachelor -Huaand.

vi CUulSe SWCll hlHu vi IT'S iltli6 Ell
I8viable privileges and advantage but then it has
ssits drawbacks and annoyancea for which NO
4 sfreedom can compensate. 1t j freedom made
sslavery.
81 Husbands are always raviug aout the bliss oI
Il getting away from their wives, md, when they
Sdo. what miserable creatures tey are! They
Care always whining then to i've them back
8 again.
q The Bachelor. Husband is mlancholv proof
sof this. His wife has gone on lsit to her papa
Cor some rich relation in the coumy, from whom
4she has great expectations. Sh in not to re
;siurn for fortnight The idea hubby" is left
Esalone-not altogether out oliove 18th the thought
ssssof being restored to liberty.
"a And yet the first day wh8 ielpless creature
sShe is! Iie is left the uncontrolled master Of the
Eshouse. and doesn't know where a single thing
ssis kept. If he wants any Thing, he has TO get
Cup and search for If himalf, and even then
ssthere is but small chance If hisfndng it. Fol
Che don't know one key from another, and be tries
sstflem all; but, as matter ocour;e, the very key
s9lhat is wanted is missing
81 The first day he meets spme trends He
lStelIs them, with triumphant thucke, that he i;
|sa bachelor, and they must come hone and dine
Sawith him.
IS What dinner! Probably it ha. not been or.
zsdered. How very foolish! he quite forgot thai
sshe has to 60 to the butchers, md the poulte
asrers and the greengrocer's evGy day himsel
ssnow; or, if the dinner has beer odered it is sure
S3to be some vulgar dish, whuh he is ashamed
lsto see put upon the table, oI ebe it turns ou
sSto be the very joint that e never touches
q For the cook does not know all his whims anc
"a fancies, his choice aversons ad his preferences
Vas his wife does
q Then. again, the beer wa tout" Yesterday
saand a fresh barrel has not been ordered in
IN There is pause of ten mimtes, therefore, Il
IenabIe the cook TO run TO lie Adam and Eve
Es for pint of the best ale. When the best i
" brought no oae can drink it.
b He is profuse in bis apotgies TO his dea
ssfriends, who assure him that it does not in th,
8 least matter, but, as they lave it is evident
e from their blank faces. that they have turned
sdown page in the volume O their experience
ssas private memorandum, never to trnst to tht
offender hospitality OF a baEienrhusband again.
81 Poor bachelor! He is.rawlmg up TO bed, lik
ssa melancholy snail, just beginning TO feel the
ttSweight of the house he ms newly got upon hi
d back, when suddenly he rcollects he gave per
Emission TO the nurse TO Rss the evening witt
is her mother at PentonvilIe and that she has ROT
s3vet come in. He has rakd the fire out in the
I Hparlor, and so he is obige to 90 down into tn
81 skiichen. where he sits Listening to the tick tick
sAtick Of the kitchen clock, and amusing himsel
ssnow and then with gram b7Nue Of black bee
giles. till half-past o'clockin the morning. whe
ssthe mildest ring at the bel proclaims nurses re
s5turn.
81 His troubles begin the frs. thing next morn
:aing. He cannot get the servants out of beG
81 Then he has to ring separately ior every articl
f3he wants TIE servants behavior altogether
gachanged to what it is when missis is at home
u They seem to be aware Of lis helplessness, an
ssdo as little as they can to Pl,eye il.
81 When he goes downstdrs, the room is scarce
g " dusted or the busters re lying about, ard h
esHearly sits down upon he box of hlack-lea
g gbrnshes that has been left IN his armchair. H
e5cannot ret the urn, and hs TO ring for the toas
9and cut his own bread aid butter, and air th
sSnewspaper himself.
g Then he is pestered viii applications fron
e5the maid ror towels, Or parl,ash, or soap, Q
Rtrlean sheets; and, worse dan all. has to NEE
ESthat awfnl inquiry from the cook: 'please, sll
eSwhat will you have for dinner to-days" Th
#.daiIy inquiry persecutes hin to that extent tha
Eat last he is driven away firm his home, and re
Eagularly dimes ont.
81 Moreover it is cherries lining all alone-s
Mting opposite his wife's empty chair-not pei
Es!son to take wine or exchanges word with. Th
sSsilence grows oppressive, and any cheap, saw
Edust dining place, where there are nothing br
Escbops and steaks-exceplng steaks and chop
becomes preferable
ka Not that the Bachelor Hlshand dimes much &
E}cheap dining places. Heruns through the cl
b Gle Of bis friends and reaons, beginning wit
Ehis friends first, for he knows they give the be-
4dnners, and reserving the relations for the las
81 He requires no invitation-!or the fact 0. his bt
Esing bachelor throws open every dining room
Esdoor to him. He begins t, stop out iate-asst
cates with Young men-gits into a habit OF lat
Msuppers, and smokes incesantly-tor cigar
Zone of those recognized arivieges which tt
IS Bachelor Husband takes blind his wise's bacl
(which he wnuld never dar to do 10 her face.
u But smoking, even in lis own parlor, is NJ
Nenough to make the plac. happy. The piac
Glooks empty, dreary andno wonder he come
Eshome late, for it has lost al attraction all con
N fort, in his eyes, 1t is louise for him, but n
Hhome He is very little bitter than lodger-
81 he has merely taken sittiig room and bed roo
@for fortnight in his wife, mansion during he
Eabsence. He leaves the first thing in the morI
Esing and goes home the hist thing at night
ESsleep.
b Everything loses the bright appearance it ha
Ewhen his wife was on toe SPOT to look after tn
shouse The drawing room stares at him like
b Hdingv Lowther Bazaar smoheTed in dust. Du
Mseems to spread itself over every little thing, ar
Esthe servants appear as ifthay would be all Il
b better for good dusting.
E The Bachelor-Husband is an outeast in h
Esown house. He has but title control over an
Zone, and paws the bills thlt are put before hi
M without question, beingtoo glad to get rid
Hthe nuisance asquick as pdssibIe Tne washin
too. wears his life out AL lis linen comes hon
swrong. His waistcoats ndleckhandkerchiefs a
Ewashed so biliously he hai not the face to we
Ethem. The strings are dF his collars; and,
.S for bachelors buttons, he'has not shirt wi
None on. He does not know whom 10 ask TO he
Mhim. He complains, but his complaints are n
IN needed, and il he has sold he is obliged
Hhurse himself, receiving pity, consolation al
Mwater. gruel from no hands but bis own.
ia He puts hisname down to be entered at son
,| West-End club, "a club FOL Bachelor-Husband
,&by-the-by, would not be pad move, open at {
,Ehours to all Bachelor HusIands,) so that by &
,Ntime his wife leaves him bachelor the seco
time, he may have some table Of refuge where
Ecan eat good dinner in comfort, and inVl
Efriends to come and eat wlh him.
.H Wives should be aware Of this, and should n
ver stay away too long, but should rather retu
Mere the fortnight has elapsed, before they recei