Eastern times. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1846-1857, 1850-05-16
VOL. ".

,T see Won have but one arrival from the
Nor,h today--a Mr.. Doolittle. Is he here |?
Reuben, on hearing his name spoken, sus.
pected at once, that the inquirer was some
merchant in search Of clerk. He forgot
the fears that had beset him bur a momen,
before, and stepping briskiy forward, an-
nounced himself as Mr.. Doohttle
The following dialogue then ensued be-
tween the two; the answers being nut
down on memorandum book, by the stran-
ger. y
'Mr. Doolittle, are you natire Of the
North p
Yes, sir. was born in the pm fest part
Of Vermont
How old are you''
'Twenty-six, last corn-husking.'
Ever been sick ?
NO, Sir never sick in my life-tough as
knot-heariy as a buck-and can detc more
work in day than you can shake stick at
Have you ever been in the habi, of drink
ing TO excess? ---
Never; don't think business will ever
be put back by my bad habits-cause 'amt
got any,
We'll, sir, think you are pretty sure
case. Young, healthy, robust fellows like
you, who have never been sick, and are rig
idly temperate, are usually picked off the
quickest.
Yes | knew should suit YOU. You'll
find me right smart sort of chap, that can
turn my hand 10 any thing. But how about
the price,
'Oh, we have number of prices, accord
ing 10 the circumstances, or tastes of our
friends
The questioner now spoke TO his man with
the staff, and said Measure him.
Measure me exclaimed Reuben, 'why,
darn it all, don't want any more new clothes
Don't you see that this is bran new coat that
have got on now"
yes, but this is 10 he different sort OF
garment-one peculiarly adapted to this eli
mate
Reuben did not fully comprehend the
meaning of this last piece of information,
but quietly allowed hinisclfto be measured
which was done by the attendant, holding
the staff upright against Reuben's back, and
after moments pause SAYING: Five foot,
ten inches high, aud broad across the shoul-
ders.
This statement was noted down By the
man with the memorandum, vino then looked
Reuben calmly in the face, and asked
How DO you prefer 10 have it !? A com
mon, pine one. or mahogany, with silver
plate ::
Mahogany plate WHAT 2 gasped poor
Reuben.
Your coffin, SIR
Coffin .-shrickcd Reuben, as he sunk.
limp as wet towel into chair.
Il beg your pardon, Mr.. Doolitte, said the
iormenor-I fear have been TOO abrupt
But in business matters, we should never
stand TOO much on ceremonies. In my ca
pacity as head supervisor Of funerals. it is
necessary that | should tend 10 these little
matters somewhat in advance, and by so do
ing, save a great deal of confusion and hurry
Now, at the end Of about three weeks, we
shall call for yon, aud
Reuben heard more, but made n rush
towards the landlord, aud franiicalty begged
to know what time the next boat left for up
river On being informed, he hurried TO his
room 10 pack his baggage, muuerlnS 10 him,
self as he went-'That should ever have
been such darned, etarnal, everlasting fool,
as 10 come TO Nedu Orleans 10 be measured
for a coffin
Several persons who had been present in
the bar-room, during the scene described,
were taken 10 bed in convulsions-and Il
small boy was busy with Il basket, the next
morning, picking up buttons from off The
hoor.-lankee Blake.