Washington telegraph., 1850-12-04
BEING EXAMINED FOR MY DECREE.
STORY FOR MEDICAL STUDENTS.
"Throw physic to the dogs. s."-'ShdksPedre.

We were to be examined in different
,ooms: our class consisted Of seven mem-
hers, by as many professors, fifteen min
utes being allotted to each professor to
find out the qualifications of the candi-
date.
I have already indicated the course 1
intended to pursue in my examination
impudence and assurance was new
method for candidate, and might sue
ceed where the old plan would be nearly
certain to fail.
Entering boldly. without knocking,
the room of one Of the professors, who,
being a superanuated widower, affected
youthfulness very much, and prded him
self very much, like Durham stock
raiser, on the beauty of his calves. 10
his dlsmay found him arranging a pair
of elaborate false ones, which showed a
great disposition to work around to the
front of his spindle shanks. l had him
dead for his vote. sure. l held the
calves, while he adapted them to their
places and, smoking his cigar during his
fifteen minutes, he congratulated me on
the progress he had often remarked, L was
making in my studies, aud a; the expira-
zion of that time, as he conducted me to
the door, assured me he would vote for
me, adding, "by the by. Tensas. you
needn't mention anything about the
calves"
We'll, here's one vote, sure. would
had the other six as safe thought 4,
Physiology where are you" YOU are
wanted. said /, as the deor enclosed me
with the professor Of that branch, who,
unfortunately for me, was what is called
a vuaList-sticking for nature, bitterly
denied the Liebigian theory, which re-
fers so many of the living phenomena to
chemistry the professor of chenlis-
try were nearly at dagger's points upon
the subject, and exceedingly excitable
whenever it was named in their pres
ence. knew my cue.
Take seat Mr. Tensas; you appear
wondrous full of vivacity' said the pro-
fessor, as eutered singing, "A was an
artery. &c.
Yes, sir, and | can assure you vt lis vi
vacity Of the same kind that the benlh-
cient Creator exhaled into the noStrils OF
the first created-Iife in the sense in
which every reasonable man every man
with proper appreciation OF the subject
every man of learning and intellect
and physiological acquisition, regards the
vital prncipe-and not the degraded VII
tality of the Liebigian system, which
makes mans assimilating functions a
chemical operation. and degrades his
mighty nature to the level of an ass
.Hideous doctrine broke in the old
professor. Mr. Tensas, would that the
whole class possessed your discriminating
wisdom: then l could descend to the
grave with the proud consciousness that
man held of his existence the same ex-
halted opinion that have always tried
to teach; then would | see this chemical
theory of life exploded. Theory which
degrades man lower than the brute,
makes the sublest operations of nature
mere chemical effect, and the noble ac-
ton of the lungs scape-pipe for extra
heat; magnificent
And the excited Psychologist carried
away by his feelings, burst into one OF
his widest harangues, battling for his fa-
vorite theory with more vigor than he
had ever displayed in the rostrum-and
there never had stood his superior for
eloquence-until a knock at the door
broke in upon his declamatory current,
and damed its waters.
Bless mer he exclaimed, rubbing his
glasses, and looking at his watch. is my
time out? Why, | have done all the
talking. But go, Mr.. Tensas the views
you advocate attest your qualifications
You may depend upon my vote and in-
fuence'
Two votes safe' said l, as I regained
the lobby, 'and now for old Roots, as the
professor of Mat. Med. was familiarly
called by the clashes deaf. but thinks
nobody knows it but himself. Ill talk
low, and he'll not know whether | AM
answering him correctly or not
Take seat, MIR. Tensask How are
you to-day? 1 suppose you are ready to
be examined? What is calomel! All
this being said sotto Uoice.
"A drug sir. that may be called the
right bower of quackery. and the tour
aces of medical murder; referred to by
Shakespeare when he said, Throw phys
ic to the dogs and especially mentioned
by him. though a typographical error has
somewhat obscured it, evinclng Its an
tiquity and universal administration at
his time in the lines. BE thou pure as lce'
as chaste as snow, thou shalt not escape
calomel!'
spoke in whisper, but moved my
lips as if vociferating.
Right, Mr.. Tensas, but you need mol