Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1850-05-02
From the N. y. Spirit Of the Times.
schools for Clanls.'

long while ago, when the crooked little
river which lnslnuales itself INTO the fat part of
that independent sovereignty called n Jersey,
aud which rejolces in the name Of the river
Rarllan-a long while ago, they carried on
considerable traffic in clans through The me-
dunn of that river a, New Brunswick.
The importers of these bivalves were in the
habit of forming their customers into classes,
or SchOOIS-each class or school, TO be suppl.
ed with cerain quanlies on gwen days dunng
the clam season. Thus the origin of schools
for clans
AbouI the time to which refer particularly,
the question OF Public Schools was being agI-
tated, and though the majority of the people
were In favor OF this mode of enlig ighenmenl yet
there was a strong and bitter minority, especial
ly among the uneducaled classes, who looked
upon The plan as only new method of taxa
ton.
Among the most violent of the minority, was
a big -mouled, uneducaled fellow, ycleped Pc
ter W, who constantly verified Pope's lines:
Words are like leaves and here they most abound
Much fruit of sense beneath is rarely found.
Peter lived in The township of P, a
charming section 1t was then, and so | doubt
not II continues, for my marriage and inIermar-
riage within It's limits, they have managed prob
ably TO bring down The PuTitan notions aud
lovely simplicity which were It's peculiar char
actetlstlcs in days gone.
Peter had been TO town-had glOaIed his
eyes, and KEEP, his brain in a 'whrIl a.gig, by
seeking aud reading all that he could and gues-
sing al The rest.
He was finally brought to a stand near The
old bridge by flaming advertisement headed
SCHOOLS FOR CLANS!
He read the heading again and again n-then
spelled each word, and .eperaiely, Yet so it was
sure enough, School for CIamsr-and al once
his comprehensive mlnd grasPed al what fol-
lowed and without reading more he struck a
line over the bridge and for home, putting, how
ever, the advertisement in his bat.
AS he came near The tavern in P, be
observed group of persons standing together.
and without note Of warning TO hts astonish-
ed auditors, be delivered himself 10 them in
these words
Gentlemen say Gentlemen | never
have made speech IN my life, and | don't
mean TO now But you all know that some
folks are IN favor of taxing US TO edcate their
children, and have alters said thai II vas the
town folks that go, 1t up-and n0U, Gentlemen,
knoa0 at ! But that aIh't my reason Tor address
sing of you now-lhey amt satisfied with ed
ica,ing their chIhren, but they pe got the d-n
foolish notion of educating clans Yes iof SEN
ding them to school! Them very CLAIMS what's
so happy no doubt as they are, aud what con-
tributes SO much to the support of so many Of
our relatives and friends what catches 'em -
Yes, gentlemen, you may laugh if you want to
now, but I've got the evidence! Look here!
roI, cIa dr. h
men, from his hat-Look here ! Schools for
CLANS.
roar of laugh'ef-a perfec' yell, followed
he showing OF the advertisement, and probably
Peter discovered that he had been barking up
he wrong lIee,' for when stiffness came he
was among the absent ones. ANTE.