Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1850-08-21
WIT AND IIUMOR.

Mirth, and changing its character with the Varao'o
individual passions and pecuarties The essence OF I'M
udicous consists in surpisen unexpected turns oil ieei
ing and explosions Of thought often by bringing dsslma
things together with shock; as when some VIII ca'e'
Boyle he celebrated philosopher the father of Chemistry
and brother of the Earl of Cork when the Willy ed
tOr of penny paper took for the motto Of his paper
price of liberty eternal vigilance; the price OF the
is only one cent" When Norlhcote, the sculptor, was
asked what he thought of George the Fourth he ANSWERED
that he did rot know him. "Bu," persisted his quest
''hs majesty says he knows you" "Knows me J, saie
Northcote '.pooh pooh that's all his brag ~! Again
Phillips while travelling in this country said thae once
met republican furious against monarchs that ne wOuf
not even wear crown his hat The expression OF un
controlled sefwili is often witty well as wicked iron
this element of ofunexpectedness Peter the Great observ
ing the number of lawyers in Westminster Hail. remarked
that he had but two lawyers in his whole domnions and
that he intended 10 hang one Of them he go
home.
Egotism and vanity prominent provocations Of the
Ounce demoshng fun for man, has been truly said
is ridiculous not so much for what he s as for pretend
ing to be what he is not" 1t is very TO frank
knave, or a bockhead who knows himself The life o
most passed in attempt to misrepesent themselves
every body being bitten by ambition to appear instead O
10 be. Thus few visit sublime scenery without pre-
pairing beforehand the emotions of wonder and awe they
ought feel and contrving the apues into which they
intend to fall We mourn make love, console, sentamen
taze, in cant phrases We guard with religious scrupu
ousness against the temptation of being betrayed into rat
ual expression of ourselves. perception of hepdcrous
would make us ashamed of this self exaggstipg fOble
and save US from the cuffs aud pats by WHICH, Wit occa-
sionaly reminds US oft
''Dr Par" said young student the old nguist
"et's you and write book" "Vey WELL" replied the
DOCTOR put in all that know and all that you know
and we'll make big one." The doctor hmsefwas moi free
from the conceit he delighted to punish in Others for satire
is ap, to be glass sin which every face but
own" lie once said, in miscellaneous company "Eng-
land has produced three great classical schoas The first
was Benty, the second Person, and the third modesy
forbds me to mention" Occasionally cyclists will strike
rather hard against each othe in the of the strut
ting captain of militia company, who once in fit of tenn
porary condescenson invited ragged negro to drink
gus with him. "O certainly" reoined the negro; 81 am
not proud I'd just lieye drink with militia captain as
any body else" DR.. Johnson famous for smashing
the thin eggshels of conceit which partly concealed the
mental impotence OF some Of his auditors. One of them
once shook his head gavey and said he could not the
force and application Of Of the doctors remarks. lie
was crushed instantly by the gru etot, t is my busl-
ness sir TO give you arguments, not to give you ora1s
Sometimes the righteousness of a remark springs from
The intense supericality Of its conventional conce as In
the case of young lady who being once asked what
she thought of Niagara answered that she had never be-
held the falls but had always heard them highly spoken Of
Ignorance which deems itself profoundly wise, is also ex
ouisitey ludcrous German prince gave his subjects
free constitution lat which they murmured continually, say
ing that heretofore they had paid taxes and been saved the
trouble of government but they were not only taxed
but had to govern themselves Wit easily unmasks the hy
pocrisy and seshness which undere loyal and patriotic
words Parr said that the toast "Church and King
usually meant ''church without gospel, and king a
bove the law p and Sydney Smith, while ashing some
tory pacemen ebuient with loyalty, observed that "God
save the king meant too often God save my pension and
my place. God give my sisters allowance out of the pr
w purse make me clerk of the irons, let me survey the
meetings. let me live upon the fruits of other mems indus
try and fatten upon the plunder of The public"
Again, all snveing hypocrisy in speculation, such as
that which when dscoursng of the worlds evils, delights
10 call mans sin Gods providence, all boserous noodes
in reform, where champions would take society their
knee, as Yankee takes stick and whes it into shape,
to these satire gravates by natural law. The story told
by Horace Smith, Of the city Miss is good instance of
shock given affected and mincing elegance. She had
read much of pastoral life, and once made visit in the
country for the purpose of communng with real shepherd
She at last discovered one with the crook in his hand the
dog by his sde and the sheep sposed romantca around
him but he was without the indispensable musical
paniments Of all poetic shepherds, the pastoral eed "Ah!
gentle shepherd" softly inquired she, "te me where's
your pipe?" The pumpkin scratched his head and
INJURED brokenly 'I left it at home, Miss, cause hant
got no baccy!"
Wit is infinitely ingenious in what Barrow calls ''the
qurksh reason" and often pnches hard when it seems
most seriously urbane. Thus gentleman once warmly
euogzed the constancy of absent husband in the pres
ence of his loving wife, "Yes, yes" assened she, che
writes me letters fall of Affection but he RENTS
any money" 81 conceive of that" replied the other,
.or know his love to be unremttng." Byron's defence
of the selfish member of Parliament is another pernentn-
stance
"--has no heart, you say, but deny it;
He has heart-he gets his speeches by it,"
Satire famous for these quiet side and sympathet-
ic mpernences An officer of Louis XIV continual
y peserng him for promotion and at last drew FROM HIM the
peevsh exclamaon "You the most troublesome man
in my army" That please your majesty is what your
enemies are continually saying" was the reply "hen
George Wither, the Puritan poet taken prisoner oy
the Cavaliers there was general disposition displayed 10
hang him al once but Sir John Denham saved his lie by
saying to Charles hope your majesty will not hang poor
George Wi,he for as long he lives can't be said 'al
am the worst poet in England" Sheridan it is well known
was never free from pecuniary enbarassmen's AS he
was one day hacking his face with dull razor, he turned
to his eldest son and sad "Tom if you open any more
oysters with my razor III cut you off with shilling.
''Very well, fasher,'' reorted Tom, "but where VIII 'ne
shilling come from?"
Thus into every avenue of life and character, Wit darts