Litchfield enquirer., 1850-09-26

Nho Jiffuse such a various prOfundity, all subjects of human or ceieSiial sclenc' that any man may acquire an omnigeno" arn3i,ion. without the trouble ofeYen learn inc ,o read. Thus literature is etheriali Ze1 by assuming for it's medium the huma voice and knowledge, depoSiting all il heavier particles = except, doubtless, il c,,ld-bccomes eXhaled into sound, whicl forthwith steals into the open ear ot th community. These ingenious methods constitute sort of macEin Iy, by whicE thought and study are done to every per sons band, without his putting hlmself to lhe slightest inconyenienCe in the matter There is another species of machine Tor the c wh ,lesale manufacture of individual mor> alitv. This excellent result is effected by societies for all manner of vir,uouS purPo' ses with which a man has merely 10 con ne of himself, throwing, as it were, his quo ia of virtue into the common stock: ana .he president and directors will take care that the aggregate amount be well apPl;ea. All these. and other wonderful improve men.s in ethics, religion and literature, oe- ine made plain to my comprehension by ,be ingenious MT Smooth>it' away ,inSpIred me with a vast admiration of Vanity Fair.
 II would fll volume, in an age of pam> phlets, were l to record all my observations in this great capital of human business and pleasure. There was an unlimited range of society-lhe powerful, the wise, the witty, and the famous in every walk of life-princes, presidents, poets, generals, artists, actors, and philanthropists. all ma> king their own market at the Fair, and deeming no prices too exhorbtant for such commodities as hit their fancy. IL was well worth une's while, even if he had no idea of buying or selling, 10 loiter through the bazaars, and observe the various sorts of traffic that were going forward,
 Some of the purchasers, thought, made very foolish bargains. For instance, young man, having inherited splendid fortune. laid out a considerable portion of it in the purchase of diseases and hnaliy spent all the rest for a heavy lot of repent> ance and suit of rags. A very pretty girl bartered heart as clear as crystal, and which seemed her greatest possession, for another jewel of the same kind, out so worn and defaced as to be utterly worthless. In one shop, there were great many crowns Of laurel and myrtle, which soldiers, and auth@rS, and statesmen, and various other people, pressed eagerly to buy some pur- chased these paltry wreathS with their lives --OlherS by toilsom. servitude Of years and many sacrificed whatever was most valuable, yet finally slunk away without a crown, There was a sort of stock script, called Conscience, which seemed to be in great demand, and would purchase almost anything, Indeed, few rich commodities were to be obtained without paying heavy sum in this particular stock, as mans business was seldom very lucrative. unless he knew precisely when and how to throw his hoard of Conscience into the market. Yet as this stock was the only thing of per> manent val le, whoever parted with 1t was sure 10 find himself a loser in the long run. Several of the speculalons were of qurS- ionable chala cter. Occasionally, mem ber of Congsess recruited his pocket by the sale of his constituents; and l was assur- ed that public officers have often sold their country at very moderate prices. Thou sands sold their happiness for whim.- In truth, those who desired, according to the old adage, to sell anything valuable for a song, might find customers all over Vanity Fair; aud there were innnmeFable messes of potage, piping hot, for such as chose to buy them with their birth rights. A few articles, however, could not be found genu" inc at Vanity Fair. Ifa customer wished to renew his stock of youth. the dealers of> fered him set of false teeth and an auourn wig; if he demanded peace of mind. they recommended opium or brandy bottle.
 Tracts of land and golden mansions, sit uate in the Celestial City, were often ex' changed at very disadYantageous rates, for a few years' lease of small, dismal, incon venient ienements in Vanity Fair. Beel- zebub himself took great interest in this sort of traffic, and sometimes condescended to meddle with smaller matters. l once saw him bargaining with miser for his soul which, after much ingenious skirmish> ing on both sides, his Highness succeed ed ed in obtaining at about the value ol a six pence. The prince remarked with smile that hc was a loser by the bargain.
 Day after day, as walked the streets oi Vanity, my manners and department became saOre and more like those of the inhabitants The place began to seem like home--the idea of pursuing my travels 10 the Celeslia City was almost oblilerated from my mind was reminded Of it, however, by the sigh ofthe same pair of simple pilgrims at whom we had laughed so heartily, when Apoliyol puffed smoke and steam into their faces, the commencement of our journey. There they stood amidst the densest hustle Of Van ity--the dealers offering them iheE purfl and fine linen, and jewels the men of wi and humor gibing at them pair Of bux om ladies ogling at them askance-whil the benevolent Mir Smooth.it>away whis' mred some of his wisdom at their elbows and pointed to a newly erected temple, = but there were these worthy simpletons making the scene look wild and mons,rous merely by their sturdy repndia,ion of al part in its business and pleasures.
 One of them-.his name was s. iek to ,,h righl-perceived in my face. ] suppose, species of sympathy and almost admirat,u which, to my great surprize, Ecould not he feeling for this couple. It prompted hi to address me.
 'Sir,' inquired he with sad yet mi and kindly voice, do you call yourself pilgrim P
 sYes,' replied, my right to that appe