Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1850-10-04

If you don't wish to be killed outright
ask no more questions
Surely you can tell me something
about it-an idea or two-lhat wouldn't be
divulging you know
What if you should in an unguarded
moment, let the secret out 2
Oh, trust me, it viii be safe in my
keeping
You will never tell p
Never
Not even to your mother! You know
how gossippy some old ladies are
'In never open my lips to her on the
subject
Hark = exclaimed jerks, with a the
atrical start, heard you nothing 2
Nothing, repeated, his wife, with un-
feigned alarm.
''Tis only the wind unused our friend.
thought it might be the patriarch or his
grand bashaw, armed with his circumven-
tor, covered with curious devices of the
order. Now listen, and if you love me
Tor the sacrifice | am about to make is
great-and you must seal your lips forever
on this subject
Well, my DEAR said the lady with a
long drawn sigh.
You have often heard Of the cat being
let out of the bag?'
Yes
We'll, | saw that cat tonight
: A real, live cat D.?
Yes, and an immense cat at that-a
monstrous cat. But you shall hear. You
shall know all. Let me begin at the be-
ginning
That's right exclaimed Mrs. jerks,
breathless with interest.
'On my arrival at the Hall, was i'm
medlately seized by about four dozen
smart fellows and taken upon the roof of
the building. Here was tongue tied and
compelled to answer about a hundred
questions, all having direct bearing on
the science of astronomy
6 What queer proceedings exclaimed
Mrs jerks.
How | answered the questions, must
ever remain, | suppose, mystery to N.Y.
selt-certain it is, however, did answer
every one-although did not know it till
tonight, there's great bear, and dipper,
and chair, and four horse team, and |
don't know what else, in the sky. Is it
not a pity that this beautiful science is so
sadly neglected 2
well, what then 2
Why the next question is too absurd
to be repeated
What was ii 2
They wanted to know whether took
a newspaper, and if so, how much | owed
the printer. Fortunately | had Just then
paid my subscription, otherwise | must
have been rejected, as no man can become
an Odd Fellow, who owes a cent to the
printer
Well, never = exclaimed Mrs. jerks,
what an influence those newspapers do ex-
ert, to be sure
Exactly. But scarcely had answered
these queries satisfactorily. when an i'm
mense flame shot up, and we as quickly
shot down.
What-through the roof!'
'Oh, no, | suppose we took the stairs.
but | was so securely bound and tongue
tied, hardly know how we got down.
The apartment into which | was ushered
was pitch dark, and strong odor of brim-
stone perYaded the ROOM.
Birthstone. my dear p
Yes, 1t must have been birthstone, for
nothing else could have produced such a
sitting sensation
Well, of all things
Then began the roar of artillery, with
an occasional volley of small arms. In
the midst of the tumuIt, heard a low.
sweet voice, chaunting hymn of peace.
Man shall love his fellow sang this an
gel, Cruel war shall be waged no more
peace shall reign-slavery shall perish
industry meet its reward-charitv fill
the hearts of men, When this happy
singer had ceased, a loud cry for cheap
postage rent the air.
How very odd
Yes, but just like those Odd Fellows.
they are real reformers,' replied our friend.
well, my dear p
Why then lights were procured, and /
signed the cons tituuon.'
Well, what of the cat of which YOU
were speaking ?
Oh, nothing, my dear, only they let
her out and for a minute or two she ap-
peared quite bewildered. 1t was the first
time | had ever seen the cat let out of the
bag. But what struck me with the great
est awe, was the appearance of the patri-
arch and his double jointed bashaw. who
IN loud voice continually said Life is
short-prepare for that which is to come.
Let all men have charity, and love their
nelghbors as themselves whereupon the
grand patriarch, armed with the tail-end of
his great-grand fathers authority, rose and
mpressively adjourned the meeting
Well, declare calculated Mrs. jerks,
and this is joining the Odd Fellows p
Yes, but remember to ke~S 10 keep
told You, protoa"
with ha'f
,i-~'