Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1850-05-13
Deacon SnowbalPs Sermon.

Deacon SnOWbalPS Sermon.
On count your 'spected preacher had
dry peas for dinner to-day, he g,b you de
text in desc 'portant Words
'WATcH YEP
Dis text am little but he am divided into
a great many parts like a little house wild
CRATE many rooms. Luke Franklin Ibis in
such house, and hab plenty OBJ rooms,
besides pot.c.oset under de stairs.
In de fust place, dar am many kind OBJ
watch. Dar, am goold watch and silver
watch, and pinch bnck watch, and pewter
watch. Den dar am de watch at night in
de ',reet 10 make you have yourself, and
Ednr arp de desh witch dit go tick lick all
night wen uncle Toby hah de fever.
Among ds colored poppylation dnr am
berry few watch. 1t am only de upper
class dat hab watch. Some OBJ dem had
chain, and put turnip in dar pocket; but you
nebber tell de time OBJ day wild turnip, only
wen you see turnip 'moke on de table, den
you know ii am twelve o'clock.
Ceasar hab got silver watch. De same
was left him by his aunt Esther Newton.
and it keep berry good time, tho tam stopt:
bekase Ceasar hear de clock strike mkt
door cherry hour, and wen he hear de same
he push long de hand OBJ de watch to de
right place, and so make him keep good
time.
Anudder division am de watch dat lib
out in de 'treer cherry night and who pre-
went you from maxim noise in de 'treet.
If you make noise, you 'sturb dem wen
dey want to take nap. If you smoke segar,
den dey am sure to take you up; bekase
dat arm de unpardonable sin; but if you
want to break into house or knock some-
body on he head, den de watch leab you
lone to be sure, bekase dey RAIDER sleep
dan NEEDLE wild sich dangerous feller as
dat If you laugh loud IN de 'treet, den
day take you up OBJ course, bekase it am
wicked TO make noise in de night.
fodder division am de deth watch,
which you hear wenebber anybody is
gwoine to die; so dat wenebber you hear
dat, you better try to save your SINS
Your 'spected preacher hear deth watch
before Simon Congo lost his COW dat died
OBJ consumption.
But dc greatest watch OBJ allam de goold
watch, as de time dat is kept by dat watch
am berry valuable, and it am called de
golden moments dat flies. Time is pre-.
cious as goold wen it am ksp by goold
watch, 'cording to de text wich tell you
'like master like man.
Oar am anudder kind of watch wen
your 'spected preacher set and watch for
walehline, Us dar hab been plenty OBJ wal
entine sent to your preacher sense he lass
hab de pleasure to dress dis congregation
OBJ color in dis place. Here is de fuss one
dat he receive, which was flung in at de
winder:
"Deacon SNOWFALL, when you grin,
And your mouth is open wide,
A team of horses might drive in
Without touching either side"
send to your 'spected preacher; but here
am de kind 10 send him, which he got yes
terday afternoon:
"Oh! beauteo us SNOWFALL! like boot
That shines with Day and Martins best,
Adjoining Soco Charleys foot
ueu Ne Is Iof u party UFesseu,
So shines thy honest face upon the crowd
Which hears thee every night,
Proclaiming to the world aloud
Thou art shining light" ..-
Now dat am true valentine, bekase
you all know dat am shining light; like
dc 'possle Lucifer in de ole times. TODD
er day wen | was walkin' down ON Long
wharf dar was a short colored gemman dat
see your 'spec,ed preacher. He make n
bow haf' way to de ground. Den he gib
to your 'speched preacher de follerin' wal
entine, rit on n piece OBJ brown paper:-
"My name is Miss Phillis; you've heard it be.
fore;
Your hardness and blindness my heart doth de.
Oh! SNOWFALL, of preachers most famous and
wise,
My proofs of affection you seem to despise,
But if a true lover you ever would wish,
Then throw out your line and snap up this fish"
hab tell dat lady OBJ color berry often
dat nebber keer to hab her for my true
lovyer. Dar(ore you may tell her de fus'
tltU0 you See ncI uht uOuooi SoisS I'll J
more valentine from de same.
Arly dis morning de follerin' valentine
was pushed under my front doer:-
ooh! gracious good gracious! what pain in my
heart!
'Tis Cupid has struck me with amorous dart,
For SNOWFALL languish, for Snowfall die,
I'm in love-pm in love, for dead certainty"
Darfore, Brodder Cole will please hat
de goodness to pass round de hat, and all
de ladies dat is in lub wild your 'spected
preacher may show de same by putting
haff dollar in de hat. AMEN.
Astronomical Phenonuna.-Soon after
the Copernican system of Astronomy began
to be generally understood, an old Connec'
ticut farmer went to his parson with the
following inquiry:
CDR. T., do you believe in the new story
the tell about the earth moving around the
sun?'
sYes, certainly"
.Do you think it is according to the scrip
lures? IF it is true. how could Joshua com.
mand the sun to stand still!"
sUmphp' quoth the Doctor, scratching
his head.-"Joshua commanded the sun to