The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1850-03-16


knowing the whole history Of its rise, it. mighty
and unparalleled magnficence, its final decline
ana total rum 1t presents so vast field for study
and contemplation, MS almost to induce a wish tha,
thcy were not half so numerous rs they really
are
lhe following amusing sketch of born to good
luck is SAID to be from the pen Of the iacetiuus
Samuel Lover:
Lady {. was a beautifcl woman. but Lady C.
was an extfavagant woman She was still single
though rather past extreme youth Like most
pretty females, She had looked too birh. and esti.
mated her own lovliness too dearly, and now she
refused to believe she was not as charming rs ey.
or. 30 no wonder she still remained unmarried
Lady Z. had about five thousand pounds in the
world. She owed about forty thousand pounds
so win al her with and beauty, she got into the
fIeet, and was likely To remain there Now. in
me time speak of, every lady had her head
dressed by barber: and the barber was III.
hanlsomcst barber n tie city oi London. PAT
fhilan was great admircr Of the fair sex: and
where's the wonder Sure Pat was an Irishmnn
IL was one very fine morning, when Phan was
dressing her captivating head, that her ladyship
TOOK 1t into her mind TO talk to him. and Pat was
well pleased, for Lady C's teeth were the wlitest
ana her smile the brightest i'll all the world $50
you're not married, Pat says she. Devil m
men your honors ladyship,' says lac. And
wouldn't ye like to be married = again asks she
"Would duck swim I" rs there onv ON. vou'd
prefcri" Maybe, madame" saws he ~you niyer
heard of Kathleen OReilly. down beyant Done
raile Her fathers cousin TO Q Donagh,w. who.
own steward to Mr. Murphy. the unier.arent 10
my Lord Kingston and-6-"Upsh - a,vs sba
sure | don't want to know who She i, But
would she have Won. if Won asked her ,o--0Ab
thin d only wish Id be after thriving that same.
And why don't youE Sure I'm too poor" And
Philnn heayed n prodigious sigh. "Would Won
like to be rich = Does dog barklp "if I
make you rich will you do as | tell NJ "NIille
murthersl your honor. don't be tanioliziuo moor
boy. "Indred I'm not" said Indy & SO listen
How would you like to marry me- "Ah thin
my lady | believe the King Of Russia himself
would be proud to do that same, lave alone moor
diyil like Pat Phlan.' We'll Philan. if you'll
marry me tomorrow I'll give you one thousand
pounds" "Oh whilaboo, wlilaboo, sure I'm
mad. or enchanted by the good pcoplc" roared
Fat. dancing round the room. But there are
conditions says lady c. After the first dav Of
our nuptials YOU rnst never see me again. nor
claim me for your Wife 4 don't like that saws
Pat, for he had been oglny her la,ly.hip most
desperately. But, remember Kathleen O'Reilly.
With the money III give YOU. YOU NAV 70 and
marry her That's thrue.' saws he But thin
the bigamy! I'll never appear against Won
says her ladyshp Only remember, Won must
take an oath never to call me your wife after 10
morrow, and never to 20 telling all the story
Dy!l a word I'll ivcr sav. well then saws
she, there's ten pounds Go and bny lccnce
and leave the rest to me and then She expl,ined
to him where lie was to 90. and when he was 10
come, and all that The next day Pat was true
to ms appointment, and found two gentlemen al.
ready with her ladyship Have You rot the H.
cenSef says she. 'H:re il is nv lady saws lac
and he gave it to her. She handed to one of the
gentlemen who viewed it attentiyelv. Then cal.
ling in her two servants she turned TO the gentle
man who was reading. Perform the ceremony.
SAYS she. And, sure enough in ten minutes Pat
l'hilan was the husband, the legal husband Of the
lovely Lady c. That will do SAYS she to her
new husband as he gave her hearty kiss; 'thatTl
DO. Now, sir, give me my marriage certificate
The old gentleman did so, and, bowing respectful
y To the 1--WE pound note she gave him, he retired
with lis clerk; for, sure enough, forgot 70 tell
You that he was parson. Go bring me the war
den. says my lady to one of her servant. Yes
pearcd. VIII YOU be good enough saws lody {.
in voice that would call bird of tree, will YOU
be good enough to send and fetch me hackney.
coach wish to leave this prison Immediately
y our ladysLip forgcts' replied he, tha, Won must
pay forty thousand pounds before | cal, let you
GO am married woman. You can detair
my husband, but not mo And she smiled Mt
fhH"n' who began rather to dislike the appear
an'e OF tins, Pare len me, my lady, it is we'll
known youar single ltell you am married
mere your hu-olniF 2 There, sir" and she
pointed TO the astonlshed barber, there he stands
Here Is my marriage certificate, which YOU can
peruSe at your leisure My servants Wonder were
Witnesses of the ceremony, Now detain me, sir
one instant at your peril The warden was dumb.
founded, and no wonder Poor Philan would have
spoken but neither party would let HIM The
lawyer be low was consulted The result was cyi.
dent. In half an hour Lady C. was free and Pat
fhIian' her legitimatGhusband prisoner for debt,
to the amount Of forty thousand pounds. Well.
sur for some time Pat though; he was in a dream
and thc creditors thought !hcy were still worse
lhe following day they held a meeting, and find.
I,", '', l,'' AZ i"I;eh bu'' as they wen knew
~ i''' h'"IH