The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1850-07-24
Destructive Eloquence.

uaiiiaSeS 10 Inc COnplaihant.
Destructive Eloquence.
"Our Country tits Of thee I"
Ma'am,' said free. spoken, warm
earlcd, enthusiastic, and rather quiz.
zicnl son OF old Kentucky, while pay
ing his devoirs to one Of the famous la
dy tourists Of America, MANN, you
should have been born in America, the
greatest country in the known world.
Nature has clustered all her slupcndous
and dazzling works upon this land, and
you should be among them! s@a have
got the greatest men, the fnest@omcn,
tho broadest lakes, the talicst tees, The
widest praircs, the highest waterfalls,
and the biggest hearts in all creation.
'Ma'am, 90 and see the Falls Of Nj
agara. Ny dear ma'an, il didn't
think I'd walked up in fuur,y when |
first seed TINT big slanlendcularpnddlc!
(slantendicular's ali algebra word ma
am-you mayn't know ii) Why,
ma'am, could tell you something
about them Falls-but you mustn't put
i, in your book, COS nobody will ever
believe it. The people that live round
about there all lose their speech, and
never hear each other speak for years,
with The noise Of the cataract! Fact
ma'am, true rs that's pencil and n
notebook your taking out Of your pock-
ct. Why. there was man lisedaherc
ten years, and hc 70, SO deafhe never
knew man was speaking till nfpail Of
water wns poured down the bsck Of his
neck When you 20 to SEQ stte Falls,
ma am, you mus, do all tie talking
you want 10 before you get within lwen-
,y-fvc miles Of them: for nfterstha,, not
word ofany kind can be heard
'Then, ma'am, you should go and
sec tho great cave in Kentlsk where
the bats 1hibprnaculale sfl gtlsss
millions. There is na. sssS Sslter
hole mol. in the ~ Sj &c ..'r un '
90 back 10 Englund = m',,,D,s a.eiGS our
Mammoth Cave, you'll put your fee,
in lt-no, beg yaur pardon, excuse me,
that's quite impossible; but you'll leave
a big hole in the book you are going
TO write. There was no end known to
it., ma'nm; and there is saltwater
lake in the middle Of it, twenty-five
miles broad. One Of the rooms is called
the 'Anlipodcan Chamber from the
unpronouuceablc TACT that man can
walk just as easy or the ceiling as upon
the floor; and in this apartment. there's
n natural fountain Of pure brandy The
same cave, too, is Il positive cure for
consumption.
You haint been South, yet, have
you, ma'am! You hant seen the Mis-
sissippi river and the city Of New Or.
leans! We'll, ma'um, New Orleans is
a hundred and twenty five feet below
the level Of the sea, and the Mississip.
pi runs through cana bridge right
over the city! The inhabitants are
chiefly alligators and scrccch owls, the
last words have been vu!garly pcrvcrt-
cd into Creole. The food is chiefly
gum, produced from trees in the swamp
nd which they call Sumbo. There is
paper called the Picaroon, the name
being we'll chosen, significant ofits pro-
lcsscd piracies upon HINTS Philosophy,
Baron Munchauscn, the Pilgrims Pro
gress, Joe Miller, Washington Irving,
and Bells Life in London. |, is VIC.
lent and s!upcndous political print, and
the Government Of the country has en-
dehvorcd in vnn 10 suppress it. One
Of the peculiar marks about this cx>
,raordinnry city is Inc entire absence