The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-04-03
ssNine c1fccEs Tor Old Zi1ny''
On sRnAxrro Down THE SYSTEM.
BY y. =. JONES.

j
In u remote county Of Pennsylvania the scene
IL laid The time was the year lS42, when
party spirit rose to 102 deg. in the shade, in ey
" hamlet, the length and breadth Of Uucle
Sam Rlorious domain The respective politi-
cal parties met in convention at Bugsburg the
county seat,) and made their nomination for
county officers. AS there were many aspirants
for the few nominations, it follows as matter
OF course. that there were some disappointments
Ito no one more SO than to "Old Tin" who
was confident Of getting a nomination for Sher
id. y.s ISL e5 100
Zimmerman, or aOld Zim,' as he was famil-
iarly called, was a misery old codger, who was
well to do in the world, yet he had an all-pow-
erful thirst for Office, and he was up at every
convention for a nomination for something, from
.stime whereof the memory of man runneth not
70 the contrary He was reputed wealthy
that is, he owned farm, and had money, but
he never showed the color OF it, except he un-
fortunately got on a spree, then he would sow it
broad cast but that was only biennial occur
renee.
noted, a knot OF the dissatisfied were congrega-
ted at the Black Horse Tavern, discussing the
merits and dement's of the fortunate nominees.
"Gentlemen, said Tim, "merit and long SER
vice to the party is no recommendation in this
county. The wire workers and schemers have
it all their own way. s
ssAye,n responded one of the bar room loaf
ere, ssthey does the pickin out, and they ex-
poets us to do the wotin.
.sBut, gentlemen, continued Tim, sthey viii
fetch up agin snag or a sawyer one of these
days Yes, gentlemen, by the etarnal, I'll up
set their applicant and spill their peaches. I'll
down political hacks as makes the county nom
nations BY Judas, Eli break down the sys-
tent II run as a volunteer candidate for Sher-
if, and if don't lay 'em out, then my name amt
Zimmerman that's all z
This determination was received with favor
by the crowd, and Zim sealed it by a shalt for
rcd-eye.
Full soon he was in the field, announced thro'
a card in both papers to his fellow citizens,
pledging himself to discharge the duties of the
Office with impartiality he acas elected.
Right Justify did old Zim 60 to work, and
things appeared to 60 on swimmingly He can
vassed the county; and the people were profuse
in their promises of doing their best for him
In one Of his peregrinations he met Wattles, the
nominee of Zim's party, who was also on an e.
lectioneerng tour.
tsHa! Wattlcs,' said he, ssmy fine fellow, I'm
sorry to see you allow yourself to be the tool of
the unholy and corrupt cabal-l say am sorry
to see you sacrificed. but you're bound to be
beat. III show them that the freemen of this
county will not bear dictation, so, my friend, if
you wish to save yourself from the disgrace of
defeat, you had better resign in my favor
Wattles expressed his conviction that he sho' d
feel very much used up in such an event, but at
the same time he had made up his mind to stand
the hazard of the die. E
Election day at length came, and my worthy
friend, armed with hat full of tickets, station
ed himself on the GROUND of his own precinct,
and commenced dealing out his tickets and urg-
ing his claims in the strongest kind of way
miser as he was, he made his friends swim in
Monong ahela long before the polls were closed.
The election over, evening came on apace,
and the eager expectants gathered in the bar
rooms to await the counting Of the votes, and
the returns to come in from the different town.
ships Old Zim was fourishng about, treating
the crowd, expressing his full confidence in the
people and the success of his efforts to ssbreak
down the system. -sa Is
Seated in remote corner were number OF
ways, in a low but earnest conversation, and u
ny one who might have Glanced to see them
would at once have concluded that something
was to follow The consultation soon broke up
and the plot began in about fifteen minutes tc
develop itself. The clatter of horses hoof's
were heard upon the frozen ground-a solitary
lorseman rode up to the door, and flinging the
reins over post, rushed into the bar-room
where he was soon raised on table, and silence
commanded.
ssHere, said he, drawing slip of paper from
his pocket, sare the returns from Lower Buffalo
township Wattles, so, Macgregor 40, thinner
man 190!-majority for Zimmerman, 100!'
ssNine cheers for old Zim' ...
aHuzza! huzza huzza!
.tGrntlemen, said old Zi,n, taking off his hat
--ssPm obliged to you for this expression of
your-that is to say, let us take a horn all
round. !"
Of course the crowd acquesced in this prop
osition, and the welkin rang with loud huzzas.
But hark--scarcely had the eager crowd imbib-
ed before another horseman came galloping up
aBeegum township, one hundred majority for
Zimmerman"
ssNine cheers for old Zim!' ssE
ssHip, hip, hurrah!"
Again did old Zim attempt to speak, but his
feelings overcame hin-and he ended by invit-
ing the entire company to just call for whatev-
er they wanted. Again the glasses jingled as
the excited multitude wedged themselves to-
wards the bar-and again was heard the clatter
Of a horse s hoofs.
ssDublin township, one hundred and thirty
majority for Zimmerman"
.ssNne cheers for Old Zim!'
clip, hip, hurah."
The excited candidate was wild with Joy and
excitement, and he again invited the party up to
drink.
Another horseman came!-another, and still
nnother.-e one bringing an overwhelming
majority for old Tim from the township he rep
resented. Alas. that it should be the same old
horse, that performed the feat Of quarter race
every hour that night, and that it should be the
same mad wag, under various DISCUSSES that
brought old zim the glorious news The col.
umn as footed up, gave Zim a cool thousand
majority. Didn't he rave and pitch9 Well, he
did! Didn't he spend a cool thirty?-the land
lords till groaned under the weight Of old Tim
deposites.
MGentlemcn, said old Zim, ssmy heart is full
This head wasn't any thing else,l and can only
say that the glory of this contest belongs to you;
but feel [brickbat in your hat, said wag,]
pride that have been made humble nstru-
ment in breaking down the system" Nine
cheers.1
Thus matters progressed until those who were
completely asowed up were laid out, and the
remainder found their way home CHART
able friends Of the Sheriff elect, toting him on a
shutter to his domicil.
Early in the morning, the village wags, with
~ 49, ~ Ak