The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-04-03
CURTIS BATES.
JAMES H. COVER.
H. D. LA COSSITT.
VIM. II. LYON.
G. D. PALMER.
Doing n Railroad Conductor.
Democratic State Central Commit
Iowa City, March Goth, 1850.

Beau H. is nice man, that is universally
knowon in Washington as one OF the most ac-
complslred fellows in the city, always ready to
borrow or to drink with you. The other day
saw him in the Baltimore cars, and, knowing
that he never has any money, was curious to
know how he would get over the road without
paying, for Twas sure that he would do it in some
way.
Probably he has got ticket borrowed the
money to buy it with, or something of that sort,
said my friend.
'Not he. Beau always travels free, and boards
in the same way. He never pays money when
wit or stick will pass cnrrent in their place: but
what shocking bad hat he has got on said !,
observing the delapidated condition ofhs bea-
yer.
'It's some trick of his, doubtless; for the. rest
of his dress, you will observe, quite gentecll.'
NV friend went on to tell me how Beau had
done his tailor out of receipt in full for his last
years bill, and his landlady at his boarding
plaae, and other speciments of his ingenuity and
wit.
sHe owed me ten dollars said my friend, sbut
in attempting to collect it Of him one day, III
be hanged ifhe dden't get ten more of me; so
I think shall let the matter rest there, for fear
of doubling the sum once more.
At this moment the conductor entered the op-
poste end of the cars to gather the tickets from
the passengers, and give them cheeks in return.
Many of tAem-as is often the case with travel
crs, who are frequently called upon, placed theirs
in the bands oftheir hat, so that the coductor
could that they were all right, and not troub-
lie them with farther calls. l watched Beau
to see what his expcdient would be, to get rid of
paying for his passage. AS the conductor drew
nearer, Beau thrust his head out of the window,
and seemed absorbed in contemplating the scene
ry that side Of the road. The conductor
spoke to him for his ticket-thcre was no an
swer.
Ticket, sir, said he, tapping him lightly on
the shoulder.
Beau sprang back in the car, knocking his
hat off in the road, and leaving it in one minute
nearly mile behind. He looked first at the
conductor, then out of the window after his hat,
and in a seeming fit of rage, exclaimed:
sWhat the ID do you strike a man in that
way for? Is that your business?-s that what
the company hires you for?'
Il beg your pardon, sir; only want your tick
et,' replied the conductor meekly-
Ticket! o, yes; it's very well for you to
want my ticket, but want my hat replied the
Beau, bristling up.
very sorry, really. 1 merely wished to call
your attention, and took the only means in my
power said the conductor.
You had better use cane to attracts person
attention next, and hit him over the head with
replied the indignant Beau.
Well, sir, will apologize to you again if you
WISH have done SO already once, said the
now disconnected conductor E''"-'" ..~
sYes, no doubt; but that don't restore my
property that's gone szvs...-.a.,.g
well, cannot talk any longer-I'n take
your ticket, if you please said the conductor.
Ticket! Haven't you just knocked it out Of
the window, hat and all2 Do you want to add
insult to injury? ., L, ~.
ooh, your ticket wasdn the hat band;' suggest
ed the conductor. - s" :" ...
Suppose you stop the train, and 90 back and
see, said the hatless Beau, with scorn depicted
on his face. .@Eya't'a ...a
well, sir, shall pass you free over the road
then, replied the conductor, attempting to GO on
with his duty. sss &a 5
The price Of your ticket said Beau, SIS one
dollar; my beaver cost me a Y. Your good sense
will at once show you that there is balance of
of four dollars in my favor, at any rate
The conductor hesitated. Beau looked like a
gentleman to one not perfectly well posted up
in the human race; he was well dressed and his
indignation appeared most honest. .t -
I'll see you after have collected the tickets,
replied the conductor. passing on through the
car.
Beau sat in silent indignation, frowning at
every body until the official returned, and came
and sat down by his side. Beau then, in an
earnest undertone, that we could only over-hear
occasionly, talked 10 the conductor like "a Dutch
Uncle and we saw the crest fallen man of
tickets pay the hatless passenger four dollars.
The Trick was at once seen through by both
my friend and myself; and the next day, over
bottle of wine at the Monument House, Beau
toldius he was hard up, hadn't dollar, picked
up an old hat an Gadsby' Hotel, my ashng ton,
put his cap in his pocket, md resolved that the
hat should carry him to Baltimore; and it did,
with four dollors into the bargain
TIE WurAr CRnp In OuIn-The Ohio C.nl