The Port Gibson herald, and correspondent., 1850-11-29
eve, on entering one OF these establishments

men OF goose, gander or goslin, may infer tha
either they must have been stolen, or are en-
/ tirely worthless. The features, loo, of the
ruling spirit (who with a maet 10 his hanC
stands behind the counter)-aIl cut up as they
are with lines and cross lines, like to the counte-
nance OF Lucifer "aller the wars of the Angels
should assure the most unsuspecting thai
within body of such hideousness there Turks
an evil SOUL And no more favored in aspect
are the hocks of harpes that hover around the
premises in the shape of by-betters. A moi
oVer-wrought fancy might imagine these wor.
thies to be the aesh-and- blood representatives
OF Satan and his imDs, who by some strange
art OF hocuS pocus had grabbied up from their
underground Imprisonment and taken pusses-
sion OF an auction-room asa new Pandemonium!
The various arts by which these fellows in
Velgle the nnsuspecting into their tolls, and
| afterwards fleece them, form a net-wook of vii.
| llanly of most rare invention and singular sue
cess. Runners are hired for all parts of the
city, to stand in wait for the arrival of strangers
to whom Mr. Deputy Funk gets introduced il
ne can, and if not, introduces himselE and by
various little arts and indescrbable agreeable
ties, so intoxcates the country pumpkin with
the idea of the .snptrIatire excellencies OF
him (Funk) that Mr. Bunpkin is disarmed and
surrenders himself body and soul, to Funk 5
superior guidance. When tie game is fairly
charmed, so that he twill be as easily led by the
nose as asses are" Deputy Funk brings him TO
the establishment of the ruling elder of this
"chosen" fraternity, and the ''doinon begins.
The shop is certainly a very gorgeous affair.
Elegant articles are exposed on every side; the
showcases are rich with gold, diamonds and
trinkets, and-the green one is amazed, Here
at once appears an opportunity Of getting rich
without let or delay. The visitor now would
seorn to accept an inside ticket to California by
telegraph, and, for the difference between Allad.
ms lamp and tallow candle, he would not give
button from his linsey breeches!
The only impediment that appears to be in
the way OF the neophyte's acquiring a speedy
and everlasting fortune, is the great number of
bidders present, all apparently bent on the same
mission OF purchase and lf-aggrandizement
The knowledge that competition may outbid
him and wrest away some of his anticipated
speculations, awakens the ambition of the neop-
byte and nerves his resolution to the most daring
offers A watch is perhaps put up, which is
gold only in glitter. An outsider makes bid
on IT OF ten or twenty dollars, which Funk, in
his majesty, receives with an air of dignified
scorn or of insulted virtue, and ventures, by way
OF irony, to ask '.if the gentleman will receive
il as a present" These, with various other
tricks, thow dust in the eyes Of the green one,
and before he is there ten minutes, he is as blind
as a new whelped puppy of week old. While
he meditates the propriety of a higher bid, a
well dressed gentleman with spectacles and
white cravat, steps up and gently touching him
on the arm, whispers, 'slf had the money by
me, would take it myself, and if you will bid
i off and come to my store, will give you fifty
dollars for your bargain" This at once puts
the spur to the tardy resolution of the "yictim-
ized'' and without suspecting that the gentle~
man in the specs and white cravat is one of the
''repers in'' for the establishment, dyed in the
wool and labeled cargo for the realms of Plu>
tus-rnns up his bid to thirty or forty dollars,
and after shedding The proper amount of coin
pockets galvanized watch not so valuable as
a dried turnip. Rejoicing in bis acquisition,
and pulled up with the anticipation Of realizing
an advance of fifty dollars frcm the gentleman
with the white cravat and specks, he turns to
look, and finds. to his inexpressible dismay, that
the specks, cravat, gentleman and all, have in
continently "Vamosed." Nothing enlightened,
the neophyte walks off, to be afterwards in.
formed that he has been 'taken in and done for"
while the gentleman in specks" steps quietly
around the corner to mediate on his share of
the spoils. And Funk and the ''outsiders'' with
their small twinklEg black eyes, dancing with
delight, set off with concordant cry on 2 fresh
trail, IN pursuit of another victim.
Sometimes Funk exhibits genuine article,
and after it is bid off, dexterousy replaces it with
one that is worthless; and if the buyer complains
of the cheat, tells him that he bought it on view,
which, being convinced Of, the unfortunate pur-
chaser walks away, looking simple as sheared
mutton-poorer in cash, but richer in expert
ence.
Another trick of the trade is to produce a
box, with few valuable articles in it exposed
to view, which are offered by the wholesale, at
so much apiece. The bidder, under the i'm
preston that he is getting a rich bargain, offers
five or ten cents each; and the box, with its con-
tents, is knocked down TO him. To his infinite
when he comes to settle, he finds
that he has bought knife, razor, a pair of
scissors. a pencil case, and perhaps several hum
dred brass rings and pewter breast~pin, set
with brilliants of glass of the first water! His
bill, on summing it up, amounts, perhaps, to
hundred dollars!
1t is in vain for the green one to expostulate,
or to seek to avoid payment! He is Immediately
ushered into a back room, where "the polite and
gentlemanly clerk" peremptorly requests him
TO ''fork," and backs bis demands with threats
of the calaboose, or BY the opportune presence.
of brace of police officers (assumed officials
for the occasion. awho happen to be passing!"
Thus persuaded, the blne-eyed and red-headed
adventurer disimmures his buck-skin purse from
its cavernous imprisonment in The pockets of
his woolsey pantaloons, and having settled TO
the amount OF his available funds, departs on
his way homeward, awitheut scrip for his jour
ney" and with sorry heart.
These are few, and only few Of the shifts
resorted to by the vampires of the red flag, for
sucking the substance of the carroty-headed
six feet in their stockings, who have
wandered away from their mothers. We pity
not such grown>up calves, nor do we sympa-
thize with their after bleatings, although we
marvel much that they should have been allowed
to stray SO far from the paternal pound, uncrop~
ped, unbranded, and unbelled!
And these things are done in the face of the
world; under the eye of "a vigilant police" and
of upright Justices. No arrests are made, and
no punishments follow; but the unsaspecting
are led like sheep to the SHAMELESS; the Funk
grows fat and rejoices over his ill-gotten gains,
and there and end!
Al FRIcAN TRoN.-Iron ore is found In