Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1850-05-01
HURnAH.
HARDscRABLE March 2, 1850.

HARDsCRABLE March 2, 1850.
MIsTUR HURRAw :-rve heeIn you no
the eddtur Of The Yanky Blade, and wan,
yeou tew send him this letter, so he and the
focks in Bostin may no that we here in
Hardscrable no heow s'tew dew things as
they dew in Bostin.''
For sum time a big, black dog had been
praying on the innercent sheep and lambs
of this patriotic town, until he reused the
dander OF Captain Hezekiah Sandupstrate,
who swore he would immerlate old Bose
on the altar Of his rarlh. (Yeou no, Mistur
Hurraw, he was lected captain of our mi
llishy by the yeounanimous vote of all four
of the privates.) He blt the altar of his
rarth ou. behind old Square Nosem's barn.
Then he sallyd out, found old Bose, and
after tremendous squabb1e, in which he
had his "I-dassunt-iell-ye's" badly torn, and
his ''ieethandles'' scratched (taint fashiona-
Bile to say tro,csis and legs, yeou no, in Bos-
lin and Hardscrable,) he killed old Bose,
shouldered his ,rofy, and rode home in a
triumph Square Nosem mad out of his old
wagon. He pu, old Bose on the alter Of
his rarth, and singed him from the tip Of
his nose to the end of his ertention Then
the Captain said he had spashia,ed his ra,h
We disputed whether killing old Bose, or
Square Nosem's ''black s,rap' spashia,ed
his rarlh at emmy rate, if killing old Bose
spaclated his rarth, the ''black strap" spash-
lated him! As a token Of admirsshun Of
the girllan,ry, (strange that sum ignoram-
ussis will call that gallan,ry! Call one Of
the fair sect gal y Of the captin, the ''pa,ri-
otic yeomanry," and ''hardy piowneers" of
Hardscrable determined to give grand swar-
ry or bawl, and present him with beauti-
full wooden soard. AS free sitterzens Of this
great country, they vo,eded that the ''(ourh
Of July" and Crismus should this year cum
on March first and the swarry be held ,ha,
evening.
At an early hour the buty and shivalry
assembled. The scared was presented by
Square Nosem with an eloquent speech
The g'rlant captain received it graciousIy,
and replied in an orfuIly eloquent, speech,
brandishing his scared so terribly that i,
struck an through the minds Of awl who
heerd him. He said he would defend both
the human (lookin round at The fair sec,)
and the inhuman sheep and lams against
awl dogs and cattle, John Bull himself no,
excepted Then sayin tew his scared, ere
turn to thy sheaf lll thou art called forth
tew be died in blood" he stuck 1t through
hole in his ':I-dassunl-tell-ye's," for a
scabburd. But in turnn round to make
bough to the fair sect, he got it between
his feet-handles, and was spashiated on the
floor. He got up, pinned up the big hole
it tore, and laid it one side, and said his re-
marks should not be taken HttaraHy, but
as they dew in Boston, tew be put in the
paper for speech, but to meen just nothin
at awl.
The dancin meow commenced, and was
keptup or rather kept do,cn, till nine or ate
the next mornin. The dancin would have
commenced sooner, but yeou no it is deemed
countrifed in Bos.in tew begin tew dance
before ten so we all sot round dewin nor
thin till that ,ime.) The music was gran
diloquent and beau,iic. Mr.. L. with his
,hreestringed fiddle, Mr.. B. with tin ki,,le
for drum, Mr. P. with punkinvne for an
ayfu7czide, Mr.. M. with post boss, and
Mr.. E. with Sarah Feen, deserted them
selves in giving such dscordant corned-
cod of sweet sounds as never was heern in
Hardscrable. Sum of the company were a
zeetle grass-culered, and didn', no what a
Sarah Feen is; but Mr.. E. told um awl
abeout that famus singer, and how when she
died, Venus, the god of music, changed her
into this instrument.
Among the menny buties present, it is
hard .ew discriminate but by the attention
they melted. the follerng may be sot down
as pertickerler brite stars. CAS- it would
make um all blush to have their names in
the paper, ] will put only sum letters o.
their names, same as they dew in Bos,in, as
every boldly will no um jest as well, yeor
no.) Miss Venus Mariah B--t was de-
cidedly the bell Of the evenin, as she torket