Fremont weekly freeman. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1850-1853, 1850-06-08
Fnss at Eires-A Good Hit.

An exchange paper furnishes the following
directions to people who make themselves
GENERALLY usefula at fires:
"TlIe moment you hear an alarm, scream
like a pair Of panthers. Run any way except
the right way, for the farthest way round is
always the nearest road to the FIRE. If you
happen to run on top of a wood pile, so much
the better; you can then get good view Of
the heighborhood. If a light breaks out on
you view, break for it immeGiately-b be
sure you don't jump into w-window.-
! Keep yelling all the time; and if you cant
make night hideous enough yourself kick all
the dogs you come across and set them yell
ing too. twill help amazingly. A brace o.
cats dragged up stairs by the tail would be q
powerful auxiliary When you reach the
scene of the fire, do all you can to convert il
into scene of destruction. Tear down al
the fences in the vicinity. Ii it be chimney
on fire, throw salt down it; or if you can't dc
that, throw salt on a rats tail and make him
run up. The effect will be about the same
IF both be found impracticable, few
buckets full of water judiciously applied, will
answer almost as we'll Perhaps the best
plan would be TO JERK. off the pump handle,
and pound down the chimney. Don't forget
to yell all the time, as it has prodigious eff
feet in frightening off the FIRE. You might
swear little too if you can do it scientifically.
The louder the better of course; and the
more ladies in the violently, the greater nee
essity of doing it brown Should the root
begin to smoke, get to work in good earnest,
and make any man smoke that interrupts you.
If it is summer, and there are fruit trees in
the lot cut them down to prevent the FIRE from
roasting the apples. Don't forget to yelll-
Should the stable be threatened, carry out the
-cow7chains. Never mind the horse-he'l be
alive and kicking-and if his legs don't dc
their duty, let them pay for the roast. Ditto
as to the hogs-let them save their own ba-
con or smoke for it. When the roof begins
to burn, get crow-bar and pry away the
stone steps; or, if the steps be Of wood, pro
cure an axe and chop them up. Next cut
away eswash-boards in the basement story
and if that don't stop the flames, let the chair
boards on the first floor share the same fate
Should the 'deyouring element still pursue the
feven tenor of its way you had better rs:
cend to the second story. Pitch out the pitch.
ers and tumble ont the tumblers Yell all the
time If you find baby abed, fling it into
the second story window of the house across
the way, but let the kitten down carefully in q
work-basket Then draw out the bureau
drawers and empty them out of the back win
dow, telling somebody below to upset the slop-
barrel and the rain-water hogshead at the
same time. OF course, you will attend to the
mirror. The farther it can be thrown the
more peices will be made If any body OBJ
jects. smash it over his head. Keep yelling
Donot, under any circumstances, drop the
tongs down from the second story--the fall
will break its legs and render the poor thing
a cripple for life; set straddle of your shoul:
ders and carry it down carefully. Pile The
bed-clothes on the floor, and show the specta-
tors that you can beat the bugs at knocking
a bed-stead apart and chopping up the pei
ces, By the time you will have attended te
all these things, the FIRE viii certainly be ar
rested or the building burnt down. In either
case, your services win no longer be needed
and of course you will need no further direc.
itions +"