The southern press. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1850-1852, 1850-11-30
THE SOUTHERN PRESS.
From the .Nsw Orleans DeH
Bill BunteT,
THE victim OF COMPROMISES.

THE VICTIM OF ComPhohisES'
About the ninth name on the recorders list
,,as,ard.y roorning was that of Bill Buner, and
40 ittIa Aid Bin feel interested in his name that i
had N he repeated audibly three times before hi
voucbsafed TO inform the court that he its
owner.
Brn.ter. Well, | amt much, your honor, nc
how you can fix it. think you may call me the
Compromise Bill, for have been the victim Of
compromises through my life. My very birth,
used to hear my brother say, matter of com
promise between Death and the Doctor--Death
finally consentlng to let live, intimating pretty
broadly, however, that I'D never be no account
Recorder. Yes, and the Waterman informs me
that you endeavored to bring the spirit of COM
promise into play when you were arrested last
night you told him that if he would let you off,
you would treat. This, Of itself, Mr.. Bunter, is
an offence for which you deserve to be punished
1t Is an attempt to corrupt the stream of justice
its source.
Bunter. 1t may have been, sir, but did not
view 1t IN that light. The Waterman talked of the
majesty Of the law-I dwelt on the liberties of the
citizen, and certainly did think that both could
be h rmonlzed over brandy toddy.
Recorder. But you found the Waterman was
not to be tempered with-that he would not forego
his duty.
Bunter. did your honor, and it was just as
thought it would be. From my earliest youth up,
as have already told your honor, have been a
In which had not the worst of the bargain
compromised with my schoolmaster, by agreeing
to assist him in teaching the juvenile cuss he, on
his part, agreeing not to ask me TO learn my
Greek or Latin. My sweetheart tilted me after
making the most fervent protestations of undying
love, and married a miserable ID, who had
nothing to recommend him but a taste for music
and moustache. / was fool enough to compro.
mise the matter with her, because she invited me
TO stand sponsor for her first child. If the ghost
IF Hnf,, L.. A IL
the tomb, he would whisper in my ear compro-
mise COMPROMISED !! compromise !! And again
Recorder. have heard enough of your history,
Mr.. Bunter. simply wish to know how it is
you were out In the street at so late an hour last
night, and without knowing where to go?
Bunter Well, your honor, it was because o
the evil star OF my destny-compromise | OWED
my landady week g rent. Bunter,'' said sh
TO me, when went in about ten o'cock-' Bun
ter, your week S up-you know my terms-pa,
every week 81 know it ma am - said l. " Dis
appointment, you know, In remittance exceed
lngiy anxious to settle-hard up at the presen
tme-wll be flush next week-make all right
In the meantime what say you to a compromise p
sn Spiieu "She WASH I agoin' to be humbug
ged in that way" spoke Of the beauties of tn
compromise system. She said " Fiddle EIDE! ,
became eloquent on the compromise, and refer
red to the efforts of Clay, Webster, Foote, ant
others, in behalf Of my favorite doctrine. Sh
neither appreciated my argument nor my theory
demanded, premptorily five dollars, and finding
inconvenient to pay it, | had to quit. This &C
counts for my presence in the street, and for my
meeting with the Waterman. | shall now try my
favorite doctrine with your Honor and ask you t
compromise the matter, by letting me off withou
asking from me Jail fees, which, in truth, | hav
not to pay.
The Recorder consented to the proposition, wit
the promise that Mr.. Bunter should leave the city
which he agreed to do.
Having effected this one compromise to his sat
isfaction, Bunter left the office, apparently as re
joced as if he had gained great political or diplo
matte triumph.