Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1850-12-02
where do Lawyers 60 toY'

l.
/ twas Court time in W. and tht
place was crowded to its utmost capacity
The jolly host of Black Bear rubbed his
hands and stroked his we'll developed waist
coat, as room after room OF the tavern was
filed The bar-room was, as usual we'll
stocked with customers and frequent were
the calls made on mine hosts supply oi
liquors. A crowd was congregated in the
immediate vicinity Of the fire, and seemed
in happy state Of mind collectively.
Jest and repartee were banded from one
to another, aad mirth-proyoking stories
were told.a -.-.; .--s..s :. -.
The chief talksr, however, was smar,
dapper little lawyer, who gained case
that day, and therefore seemed to consider
himself as something considerable. .''-
He had smart saying for every one, and
but few escaped his jest. ,,ztgg ss,,.....
His principle victim, however, was Dea.
con Jones. Many stories he told about
deacons, and inquired if Jones was the dea.
con, who, when elected to that high office,
was so eyerjoyed that when he arrived at
home happening to meet his COW, he threw
his arms about her neck, exclaiming:
"'Oh, Nanny! you are no common COW
now;1 you're deacon's cows and many
other questions of like import. -re.fsH
The deacon stood it pretty we'll, and bore
the laugh like martyr. At length, he
said he had story to tell and demanded a
hearing. Silence was obtained through
the exertions of the little lawyer, who was
overjoyed at the thought OF getting story
from the deacon.
'Ye see Mr.. Lawyer began Jones,
last summer when the cholera was round
| catched it. 1t went mighty hard with me,
[ tell ye, so that they give mo up and bid
my family good bye, and made up my
mind to die us only an honest man and
christian can. hope when your time
comes you can do the same; but m afraid!
afraid' and the deacon shook his head
solernnly. zz7 r7e.
well ye see, didn't 'znckly die, but
| came pretty near it. l went off in a
trance
'In q trance!' exclaimed the lawyer.
Yes, in trance: z .e
sWhat were your sensations?' s.,sz
THAT was jest what was coming to-.
| thought the angel Gabriel cum to my bed
side, and raised me up, and carried me
through the sky, until we stood before the
gates of Heaven. Il 7s- ~ ae.4 - 'zs
Then thought that the angel turned 10
me and said: Mortal, you are brough. here
TO see some Of the glories Of Heaven, and
the miseries Of He'll; then you will return
and rejoin your friends on earth, TO abide
there for short season, and then you will
return. 10 Heaven, and partake, Of the hap.
piness of the elect
'rhen we entered the gates, and my
ears was saluted with sounds of melody
and praise. But wont attempt to de.
scribe oil heard and saw. The ahgel
was very communicative, and readily an-
swered all my questions. Wishing to
know about q few OF my old friends who
had gone before me, / questioned him
concerning them. Some he called to his
presence, and OF the name of some he
Significantly shook his head. | enquired
for Squire Grusper. The shake was re-
peated. Supposing he misunderstood me
| again inquired Another shake. 373 aiJ
'He was lawyer, said the angel, was
he not?' .,.l ese.g ASH
'Yes,' said /.
I'VE have no lawyers here,' was the
reply. >-' 5.'7@a'@ ~ . 81
A burst Of laughter wen, up from the
whole company. and the lawyers them
selves participated therein. The deacon
continued:
'We then left Heaven; and passing
through dark cloud, entering the cob
fines of He'll. We paused at the gate md
knocked. The door swung slowly back,
and we entered. For q short space |
could see nothing but confused mass roll
ing here and there; but my eyes soon be-
came accustomed to the sight, and / per-
ceived spirits darling now here, now there,
and seeming as if trying to escape some
terrific fate.
The Prince of Darkness himself did the
honors and showed US round. Still wish.
ing TO see the Squire inquired for him. -
Satan clasped his fiEger to his head, as il
in study and slowly exclaimed z...s..
sHe is not here.'
Not here,'. replied. why he must
be here; he Is not in Heaven s-''
'He is n lawyer, | believe said Satan
Yes, answered. --a-
'Ah! he is not here. chad so many
lawyers sent here that with their pleas
. their demurrers, their motions, affidavils
indictments, &c my prerogatives were in
/, danger, so that was obliged, in self-de
fence, TO banish them from my kingdomH
| Thanking his highness for his courtesy
we left. Itreturned to earth and conscious
ness, and ever since then have been pond
ering on the question Of Where do law
yers gostoa' .51ss,lsss asa1' sif 'sastlsi
Peal after peal of laughter greeted tn
conclusion of the deacon's narrative, ant
the little lawyer was dumb. Next morn
/. ing he left, as he could not answer tn
questions Of ''Where do lawyers 60 tot
- Yankee Nation. ,rga.sa- e. sai s.s
$ GTis sweet on a winters night a
!, home, to sit by fire and tapers: but oh!
is a wiser thing, BY far, to read the papers