The republic. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1849-1853, 1850-04-22
Punch's Police.

A vERy MELANCHOLY CASE Yesterday a gen
tleman of the name of Thomas Carlyle was brought
before Mr.. Punch charged with being unable TO
take care Of his own literary reputation-a very
hrstrate reputation until few months past--but
now, in consequence of the reckless and alarming
conduct of the accused, in most dangerous condi-
ton; indeed, in the opinion OF very competent au-
thorities, fast sinking. The Office was crowded by
many distinguished persons, all of them manifest
ing the most tender anxiety towards the accused;
who however, did not seem to feel the seriousness
Of his situation; but, the contrary, with folded
arms, and determined expression of visage, called
the worthy magistrate Mr.. Punch) ''windbag," J"
'sserf Of funkeydom," and can ape of the Dead
Sea- John Nokes, policeman. with literary
turn, proved that he had long known the doings OF
the accused.
Witness first become acquainted with him through
his 'Life of Schiller work done in the very best
and decentest manner, in which no offence what
ever was committed against the peoples English;
for he, John Nokes, had no idea that English should
be called either 'kings" or "queen's," but en-
Phaticaly the peoples English" Had since known
the tn accused through "Sartor Resartus," The
"Oliver Cromwell" From time to time, as he
went on, witness had marked with considerable
anxiety increasing wildness, daring eccen-
ricity of manner in the doings Of the accused, fre
quently observing that he delighted to crack and
dislocate the joints of language and to melt down
and alloy sterling English into nothing better than
German silver. Nevertheless, witness did not be-
eve the reputation of the accused in any positive
danger until some three or four months back, when
he detected him running wildly up and down the
pages of "Fraxers Magazine" pclting all sorts OF
gbberish at the heads of Jamaica nggers-fantasti-
cally reproaching them for being sup to the ears,
content in pumpkins, when they should work for
sugar and spices" for their white masters-threat.
ening them with the whip, and, in a word dealing
in language only dear to the heart witness meant
pockets--of Yankee slave owners and Brazilian
planters. Since then, witness had named his sus-
picons to several most respectable publishers, warn
ing them to have an eye upon the offender. Peter
Williams, teacher ut the Lamb and Flag Ragged
School, deposed that he had purchased two numbers
of work by the accused, called ter-Day
Pamphlets" The first number appeared to him
(witness) to develop rabid symPtoms-but, in the
second, in Model Prisons there was nothing in
it but barking and froth (Here several passages
read that fully bore out the opinion Of the wit
ness passages which created a melancholy sensa-
ton in court, many persons signing deeply, and in
more than one instance dropping " some natural
tcars') Witness did not believe it consistent with
public safety that, in his present temper, the
cused should be trusted with pen and ink. II per-
mitted the use of such dangerous weapons he
woud-until recovered from his present indispo-
sition-inevitably infct upon his reputation mis-
chief from which it could not recover As II was,
witness considered il far from safe. Mr. Punch
asked the accused if he had any thing to say
whereupon accused, with whitening smile,
ied-"Preternatural Eternal Oceans''-"Inhu-
man Humanitarians' -" Eiderdown Phianthro-
py"-"Wide- -reverberating Cant'-"Work Sans
Holiday"-'sThree Cheers more and Eternal, In
imitabie, and Antpodcan Fraternity''-.'Pump-
kindom, Flunkeydom, Foolscapdom, and Pen and
lnkdom!' Mr.. Punch observed, this mel
anchoiy case. He could not release the accused,
unless upon good and sufficient surety. Where
upon two gentemen-publishers Of the first respec-
tability-declarcd themselves willing to be bound
that accused should not, until in more healthful
frame OF mind, be allowed the of paper and
goosequills. IL is believed that if accused again
Offend the whole body of publishers will insist upor
his compulsory silence Let us, however, hops
better things.-Punch