The mountain sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1844-1853, 1850-10-24
How "a 7Eodea Artist
" u N 4 " HE I z e s. s.
BV u. c. LEWIS.

fslEaote plies, Suc!1 as suIt'iast young
men, are hard to find, and when found
owing to the great competition, devilish
sight hard TO win; to prove this we will
relate our own experience, for the benefit
of all laying FOR piles
Not being manor born not heir to !
maiden aunt, gouty uncle or rich governor
and feeling 4 predsposition to circulate the
filthy lucie. instead Of circulating ourself
for il, We early began to look 70. spccks,
percentages and safe operations. After
weighingthe pros and cons, we concluded
! 10 take hand in the game Of matter O
money (matumony) and play TO win;
therefore consider an individual about
our size in one side of the hymeniaI scales
to be weighed down by an angel with Z
sufficient pile.
Having set our uags,' we determined TO
fly high, make or break, do or die. and
stand uptO the rack in spite of landlords,
flash taibrs, wash wimen, cruel fathers,
fighting brothers, or rich rivals, remember
ing that Washington was once boy
Anticipation is better than participation,
faint heart never won 4 fair ladr,' and de-
termnifg that If we should tail twenty
time, 10 never give il up so,' but try, Try
again for always
There's good time coming boys,
Wsit lilIle longer
We stuck 10 our text for several years,
exercising talents enough 10 send man
10 Congress-, make respectable hero in an
over tue tale, q star lawyer, or keep
rascal out Of the States Prison.
FRS turned Jew; was Tered BY q Jew
ess; seeded to Methodism and shad-bel-
lied colts; Z rake cut US cut; was convert
ed by Catholicism; found the .needful,'
wenI TO the church; whirled into the Qua
ker ranks; said lhCU and thou; found tho
old one ! dead shave; landed among the
Dunlards; wore long beard; talked dutch
had too sharp nose and couldn't come
in; and lastly pitched into the Mormons;
had good time generally, but found The
root of al evil scarce III that pious com
mUnity.
We now gave up religion, IS we found
by dear experience that il would not pay;
couricd boarding school misses; serenadeG
rich 'yidders;' eulogIzed bellies in poetical
columns; firted at the springs, and iauer-
ed, admired, loved and proposed TO daugh-
ters inuumerable. We did not come off
boolless il the game, as We have had rings
affections, gifts, bouquets, billet douXes,
valentines, hearts trapstXed by darts, keep
sakes, vows, prcteslations, swee: smiles,
soft glances, stolen kisses and moonlight
meetings enough TO satisfy al the lovers
II a large country.
The .consummation devoutly 10 De
wished was always knocked into a cock
ed hat by I cross father, kicking brother,
fighting rival, covenant visit TO relations,
or by our craacfSAing, Whenever we
found the pile with too large divisor, de-
pendent upen the demise of a hale, hearty
old one, doubtful or nOa est; for we had
no idea OF trying 4 doubtful experiment,
obJecting az toto 10 deyoting the remains
der OF our span to the raising OF BerksAircs
Dorkings, Durhams and Cherubs; the lat
ter, suckers, the raw material from which
grow men with patched paE:s and miilin-
cEs.
A. last the time and tide came along
and we jumped into the food III a manner
never dreamed OF in oul philosophy.
We met quandom friend at the races,
one Ben kInyon, who had lately doubled
himself and estate by matrimony. Beng
up for Cows and market, we accepted a
seat in his tandem, and were soon posting
along after a spanking pair Of bays, three
minute nags. Near sun down we arrived
al his box where found his bride aad :
visitor absent.
Leaving Ben 10 superintend his bays,
we retired TO our room, and finding il fiued
up IN modern style, with baths, &C.. We
were soon Iuxuriating ALPHABETICALLY =
While thus a 'Model Artist. enjoying the
balmy freshness ana GOODNESS of The even
ing, we noticed across the hall, the door of
the library open, and abstractly walk ed
therein. Becoming deeply engaged, we
entirely forgot oul .4daDsieed, appearance,
till we heard female voices approaching
IN the hall; there was no chance for escape
no be hind the door, cu6by hole or fig tree
whereby TO hide ourself-what u fix for
modest man,
Standing on the shaded side Of the rom
were Plaster of Paris. statues u venus,
Hercules, Diana, love-, which Ben
had lately ors3ee4-., and which had been
unpaol~-s, and set " during The ahsence
0T his lady.
As quick as thougIl; VIC sided Up to
Jove, drew back one of our pedal exuemi-
ties, expanded the chest, folded the arms
across It. tlreW back inc head wI-h stern