davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
THE MAJOR.

We were much amused the other day with
the Majors story of his first adventure in
jewelry. In cue time the Mayor got MARI
ed, as ell young folks are bound to do, and,
in the course of time, he found himself in
New Orleans with an extra hundred dollars
in his pocket.
Determined to do things up handsomely
in the way Of presenting his wife with some
costly presents, he marched into jewelry
store, resolved to spend thirty or forty dollars
for trinkets, under the delusion that sum SO
enormous would buy Everything and more
too." The very attentive clerk waited on
his summons, and handed out variety of the
Glow priced" varying from one dollar to fif.
y.
The Major examined the assortment: with
a critical eye, felt of his forty dollars with a
grandiloquent air, and ordered somethingex
pensive, fancying that it would reach as high
as three tens.
The clerk placed upon glass case two
morrocco-covered boxes, which upon being
opened, presented variety ofnecklaces and
finger rings.
The Major eyed the collection in a very
critical manner, and said that he would take
the largest box, demanding the price while
pulling out his wallet
"You can have" said the clerk, with SOL
emily, t'that box for ten thousand dollars %
Internally the Major felt astonished Out
side he was as cool as a cucumber-the
price had gone cover his pile" and mis- ex :
pectations just nine thousand nine hundred
and seventy.fve dollars.
With sang froid that sunk into the heart
of the clerk, he said,
"Is that the highest priced jewelry you
have in your store :"
The clerk said, "it was just them"
"Well, drewled the Major, waving his hat
somewhat in the style of julius Cesar, "this
don't cost enough to suit me-" and with a
swing of grandeur he LEFT the store
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

How The Dutchman avoided the duty or
- n Juryman.


= A few years since, a Dutch vessel landed
at Mobile goodly number of the inhabi-
tants Of "Sour-krout-dom," one of whom
found his way up the Tombigbee, aud see.
Ing on its banks ain opening for an entefprs
ing Dutchman, landed and built himself Q
warehouse, A while after his naturalization
the Sheriff summoned the aforesaid Dulch-
man to syrve ON the Jury. Dutchy was very
anxious to be excused, as the cotton bales
wee coming in very rapidly, and rival
warehouse was becoming troublesome
While the jury, therefore, was being inn
panneled, he went 10 MIR. L., a distinguished
lawyer, in order to have himself excused
Mr. L. informed him that the Judge would
not exeuse him on the plea of attending his
warehouse. -
"Never mind, !" says Dutch, tiyou tell 9rhe
Judge want TO be excused, and I'll tell hial
the reason" sgela .al
So when the court convened, Mfr. l.. rose
and said-"NIay it please your honor, a Juror
wishes TO be excused.n
"On what ground, nv. L 2" says the Judge.
"There he is" says Mr. l.; che win pre-.
sent his excuse"
While INSTRUMENTATION was taking place,
up rose the Dntchman.
"What, sir, is your excuse 2" says tho
Judge.
Du,chman-''Snax Snoorks.n
Judge-"What did you say, sirr'
Duichman--"Snax Snoorks"
Judge-"Come nearer, sir; cannot hear
what you say"
Dutchman-Snax Snoorksp
Judge Tin great anger)-"Mr. Sheriff,
what did you summon this Dutchman fort
He can neither speak nor understand word
of English"
Dutchman-"Snax Snooksn ~
Judge-"You can leave, sir.''
Dutchman--f'Snax Snoorks ~
Judge (overfowing with ire)-"Mr. Sher.
if, take that Dutchman out of tho
court; and, sir, shall have you fined for
neglect of duty in summoning man who
can say nothing but 'Snax Snoorksy DarcR
permitted himself to be carried out of cour
uttering d utch he went.
After getting ont of the court house, rorel
one who had witnessed the scene asked i;f.
why he did not go when the Judge told h:a
"Oh," says Dutch, 'Tvos fraid if unde.
stand you may go,' de Judge would think
speak English."-N. Y. Spirit of the Times
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
MY FIRST DISSIPATION.
A LEAF FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF DAVID COP
PERFIELD, THE YOUNGER.

began by being singularly cheerful and
lisht-hear;ed; all sorts of half-forgotten
things TO talk about, came rushing into my
mind, and made me hold forth in most un-
wonted manner. laughed heartily at my
own jokes, and everybody else's; called
Steerforh TO order for not passing the wine
made several engagements 10 go TO Oxford ;
announced that meant TO have dinner
party exactly like that, once a week until
further notice; and madIy took SO much
snuff out of Changers box, that | was OBJ
liged to go into the pantry, and have pri-
vate fit of sneezing ten minutes long.
went on, by passing :he wine faster and
faster yet, and continually starting up with u
corkescrew 10 open more wine, long before
any was needed. l proposed Steerforlh's
health. said he was my dearest friend,
the protector of my boyhood, and the com
panion Of my prime. l said was delighted
to propose his health. said owed him
more obligations than could ever pay, and
held him in higher estimation than could
ever express. finished by saying, ''I'll give
you Sieerforth! God bless him Hurrah w
We give him three times three, and another,
and good one to finish with. broke my
glass in going around the table 10 shake
hands with him, and said, Tin two words, }
"S!eerfonh you are the guiding star of my
existence. .f
went on, by finding suddenly that some-
body was ia the middle of song.-Mark-
ham was the singer, and he sang, "When
the heart of man is depressed with care"
He said, when he had sung it, he would give
US "WomanW took objection 10 that, and
couldn't allow it. said it was not res
pectful way of proposing the toast, and |
would never permit that toast to be drunk in
my house otherwise than "Thc Ladiesw /
was very high with him, mainly, | think,
because saw Steerforih and Granger laugh
ing al me--or at him--or at both. He said
a man was not 10 be dictated 10. said a
snan tcas. He said man was not TO be in
snlied, then. said he was right there
never under my roof, where the Lares were
sacred, and the laws Of hospitality para
mount. He said il was no eerogation from
a mans dignity to confess that was a dew
iish good fellow. Iinstautly proposed his
health.
Somebody was smoking. We were all
smoking. Twas smoking and trying TO sup
press raising tendency TO shudder--sieer-
forth had made speech about me, in the
course of which had been affected almost
to tears. lretumed thanks and hoped the
present company would dine with me to-
morrow, and the day after-each day at five
O'Clock, that we might, enjoy the pleasures Of
conversation and society through a long e.
vening 4 fell called upon 10 propose Miss
Betsey Trotwood, the bes, Of her sexe
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

A DocToR's JoKE.-A MelI known physicia..
in certain city, was very much annoyed by
an old lady; who was always sure to accos,
him in the street, for the purpose of telling
over her ailments. Once she met him whaa
he was in great hurry. "Ah! see YOU
aIe quite feeble" said the doctor, "shut your
eyes and show me your tongue" She obey
ed, and the doctor moved of, leaving her
stand there for some tins in this ridiculous
position, TO the infinite amusement Of all who
witnessed the scene.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
Making Anger Holes with a Gimblet,

"My boy what are you doing with that
glmlet Wsaid | TO faxen haired urchin, who
was laboring with all his might at a peice Of
board before him.
"Trying 10 make an auger hole," was the
reply, without raising his eyes.
Precisely the business of at least two thirds
of the world-this making auger holes with
gimlet.
Here is young A., who has just escaped
from the clerks desk behind tho counter.
He sports his mustachios, his imperial, car
ries rattan, drinks champagne, talks big a.
bout the profits of banking or shaving notes.
He thinks he is really great man: but eve-
ry body around sees that he is only making
auger holes with gimlet.
MIR. B. may be put down as distinguish
ed professor Of the gimlet. His father left
him fine farm, free from ncumbrance-
but he wouldn't be content.-Speculatio in
corn and flour arose before him--fortunes
were made in a twinkling; so he sold out
bought largely; dreamed of the riches OF
Astor and Rothschild, no more work. But
at last the bubble burst. The Irish wouldn't
stay starved, prices fell, and now Mr. B. has
found out that il is difficult to make auger
holes with a gimet
Miss c. is nice pretty girl, and might be
useful, too, for she has intellgence-=but she
must be the ton-goes to plays, lounges on
sofas, keeps her bed till noon, imagines that
she is belle, disdains labor, forgets 10 tries
to that her father was mechanic, and all for
what Why, she is trying to work herself
into the belief that an auger hole can be
made with a gimlet.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

No You Don It JuDGE.-Seene in Court Of
Jusi,ee-Boy citness in case Of assault on Mr..
Bro,en
Judge (with dignity Young man, do you
know this Browne
Boy, Cooking roguishly at His Honor and
shaking his head)-no yer don't Judge.
Judge OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES do you mean
by that, sir9 Answssny question-Do you
know this Brown?
Boy, with peculiar wink no yer don't
Judge.
Judge Tin rage)-arswer me, you young
villain, or will commit you for contempt of
Cour-Do you know this Brown?
Boy, (applying his thumb to the top of his
nose and wtinggling misteriously his elon-
gated fingets)-yer can't come it Judge;
know what YET waf>E-yer want me to ask
what Brown, and then yer goin' to say Brown
Stout! No yer don't Judge
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

day! My horror os having committed thou
sand offences had forgotten, and which
nothing could ever expiate-my recollection
of that indeliable look which Agnes had CIV
en- me--the torturing impossibility of COM
municating with heI, not knowing, beast that
was, how she came to be in London, or
where she stayed-my disgust at the very
sight of the yoom where the revel had been
held-my racking head-the smell Of smoke
the sight of glasses, the impossibility of 60
ing out, Or even getting up! Oh, what day
it was
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
THE BETrING DANDY.

The Pennsylvania has many funny thing
in its police reports. This is a laughable ex
ample:
A young gentleman.-with medium siz-
ed light brown mustache, and such suit of
clothes as fashionable tailors sometimes fur
nish 10 their customers, con accommodating
terms,"-that is, on the insecure credit sys-
tenn came into hotel in Race street, yes
terday afternoon, and after calling for glass
of Madeira, turned to the company and offer
ed 10 bet with any man present, that the ship
Susquehanna wouldnot be successfully laun-
ched next Saturday. This "Barter" not be.
ing taken up,-he proposed to wager five
dollars that DR.. Webster would not be hung.
This seemed TO be a "stumper" too, for no.
body accepted the chance. The exquisite
glanced around contemporary and remark
ed: want to make bet of some kind.
Don't care a d-n what it is. I'll bet any
thing from shilling's worth of segars to five
hundred dollars Now's bout time, gentle
men what do you propose ?'' Slipping a
glass of beer in one part of the bar-room, sat
apain old gentleman who looked like he
might pc Pennsylvania farmer He set
down his glass and addressed the exquisite
-'Well Mister,-Tm not in the habit of ma
king bets,-bu seeing you are anxious about
it | dan't if Igratify. So I'll bet you levy,s
worth af skies that can pour out q quart of
molasses into your hat, and tur&isinto a SOL
id lump of molasses-candy in two minules yb
the .watch.u "Donem said the exquisite,
taking of his hat and handing it TO the far
mer. TWAS real FLORENCE hat, splendid
article, that shone like black satin. The old
gentleman took the hat and requsted the bar
keeper 10 send for quart of molasses ;-"the
cheap solt. at six cents quart that's the
kind use in this experiment., caid he, han
ding over SIX coppers to the bar keeper The
molasses was brought and the old farmer.
with very grave and mysterious counte-
nance, poured into the dandie's hat while the
exquisite took out his watch TO note the time.
Giving the hat two or three shakes, with a
Signor Blitzlike adroitness, the experimenter
placed it on the table, and stared into il if
watching the wonderful progress of solida-
tion. "Time's up" said the dandy. The
old farmer moved the hat. "Hel | do be-
lieve it amt hardened yet" said he, he in
tone of expressive disappointment ii mis-
sed it some how or other that time, and
suppose I've lost the bet. Bar keeper let the
gentleman have the segprs,-twelve skies,
mind-and charge 'em in my bill" D=-n
the segars, roared the exquisite, "you've
spoiled my hat, that cost me five dollvrs, and
you must pay for its. THAT wasn't in the
bargain" mildly answered the old gentle
man,--"but I'll let you keep the molasses,-
which is little more than we agreed for. And
having drained the tenacious fluid from the
beaver, as he best could, into spit box
the man of mustaches rushed from the place,
his fury not much abated by the sounds of
Unsurpassed laughter which followed fhis
exit He made his complaint at the Police
Office, butit appeared that tie experiment
was tried by his own consent, no damages
could be recovered.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

The COMMITTEE appointed by the House to
investigate the Galphin claim, is still progres.
sing in its duties. It is believed that the re-
port of this committee will render the contin-
uance OF Mr. Crawford, and all concerned,
in the Cabinet an absolute impossibility. 1t
will be the first, and may God grant it shall
be the last, case in which Cabinet, already
condemned by the country has been tried by
a committee of the House, and expelled from
the public service. Let US watch and pray.
Times sr
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

SHREwD.--The Richmond Wing tells q
pretty good story of a Virginia negro boy,
who professed to be dreaefully alarmed :
the cholera. He took to the woods to avoid
it and was there found asleep. Being aske,
why he went TO the woods, he said ITO pray
"But," said the overseer, chow was it yo.
went 10 sleepa" "Don't know, massa, ez
acty," responded the negro boy, ''but spes
| must have orerprayeq myself"
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
~. The Ieleeraph in Russ;a-!Tbe Jorr,

v The Telegraph in Russia.-aThe Journa
des Debats says that the Emperor Of Russia in
tends to put St. Petersburg in direct comm
ncation with Berlin and Vienna, by mear
of a line Of electric telegraph, which VI.
pass by Warsaw and Posen, towaIds tho ca
itals of Germany 1. lis said that the Rus
Governments already entering into the =,
liminary negotiations for the execution
this undertaking.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
NEVER SAY FALL,
sY D. c. coLEswoRrHY.

Keep pushing-'tis wiser
Than sitting aside,
And dreaming and signing
And waiting the tide.
In life's earnest battle
They only prevail,
Who daily march onward
And never say fail.
With an eye ever OPEN
A tongue that's not dumb,
And heart that will never
To sorrow succumb-
You'll battle and conquer
Though thousands assail;
How strong and how mighty;
Who never say fail.
The spirit of angels
Is active, | know,
As higher and higher
In glory they go:
Methinks on bright pinions
From heaven they sail,
To cheer and encourage
Who never say fail.
Ahead then keep pushing,
And elbow your way,
Unheedipg the envious,
And asses that bray:
All obstacles vanish,
All enemies quail,
In the might of their wisdom
Who never say fail
In life's rosy morning,
In manhood's firm pride,
Let this be the motto
Your footsteps TO guide;
In storm and in sunshine,
Whatever assail,
Well onward and conquer,
And never say fail!
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

Never did an Irishman utter better bu,
than did honest Johni who being askeddya
friend. tt'l
"Has your sister got son, or is il daugh-
Ter p'
"Upon my soul, don't know whether I'm
an unble or an aunt.u-
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

LOVE knowe,h everybody's house,
And every human haunt,
And comes, unlndden everywhere,
Like people we don't want.
The t,xnpike roads, aud little creeks,
Are written with Loves words,
And Won hear his voice like thousand bricks
In the lowing of the herds.
He peeps into the teamster's heart,
From his Buena Vista's rim,
And the cracking whips OF many men
Can nsver frighten him.
He'll come TO his cart in the weary night,
When he's dreaming OF his craft;
And he'll float to his eye in the morning light,
Like a man on river craft.
He hears The sound of the cooper's adj,
And makes him too his dupe
For he sIghs in his ear from the shaving pile
As he hammers on the hoop.
The little girl, the beardless boy,
The men that walk or stand,
lie will get them all in his mighty arms
Like the grasp Of your very hand.
The shoemaker bangs above his bench,
And ponders his shining awl,
For Love is under the lap-stone hid,
And a spell is on the wall.
It heaves the sole where he drives the pegs,
And speakes in every blow,
Till the last is dropped from his craft hand,
And his foot hangs bare below.
He blurs the prints which the shopmeu sell,
And intrudes on the haiter's trade,
And profanes the hostler's siable-yard
In the shape of the chambermaid.
In the darkest night, and the bright daylight,
Knowing that he can win,
In every home of good-looking folks
Will human Love come in.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
THE STAR OF THE NORTH
Is published every Thursday Morning, by
Weaver e. Gilmore.

OFFICE--Up stairs IN the New Brick building
on The south side of Main street, third
' square belutc Market. .
TEuhs Two Dollars per annum, if paid
within six months from the time of subscri.
bing two dollars and fifty cents if not paid
within the year. No subscription received
for less period than six months no discon-
1inuance permitted until all arrearages are
paid, unless at1he option of the editors.
ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding one square,
will be inserted three times for one dollar, and
twenty-five cents for each additional insertion.
Atiberai discount tciH be made 70 those trho ad-
vetise by the year. t-..-
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
MORE CANDoR THAN COURTESY.

A formal, fashionable visitor thus addressed
a alitle girl:
elbow are you my, dearw
"Very well, ] thank you, " she replied.
The visitor then added, "Now, my dear,
you should ask me how am"
The child simply and honestly replied. ~
don't want TO know"
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

Aman was very much intoxicated was
sent to prison. "Why didn't you bail him
outl" inquired bysiander. "Bail him QUIT"
exclaimed the other---'' you couldn't pump
him out.n ga
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
R Professor Webster continues in e

IF Professor Webster continues in goo,
health and spirits, and daily receives hi
meals from Parker'sa a ptivilege granted to
all prisoners who can pay for it. His spir
ual adviser, Rev. DR.. Putnam, Unitarla
clergyman from Roxbury, visits him ooc..
sionally in his cell and his WI and daus.
ters twice week regularly.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

~ The last publication of the bans
marriage in Massachusetts took place on Il
22d--the law requiring that form havln
been abolished. twas in the case OF ,
black man, who declared his intention u
marry white woman.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

~ S'dnder.--Elizabeth Ellis has recover
ed $1,000 against Alexander Duel, in an ac-
tion of slander, before the Susquehanna
County Court, q, Montrose, Pa.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

The Wolves infest the sheep pasture in
the vicinity ofSaaunton, Va, in droves Of s
to IL, killing so sheep in night, and follow
persons TO their residences
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

"My dear Murphy said an Ifishman 10
ffiend "why bid you bettay that secret | &c!
yep
'sIs ii betray you calfita Sure, when l
found wasn't able to keep it myself didn't
I do we'll to tell tito some one that con'
keep ii ~ lr .s1
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

n Gentleman an"-'Tom, stand out Of the
way Of that gentleman elbow do you
know he is genileman" "Why, he wears
q stsnd.up collar and d-swears!'
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

~ Among his other high sounding titles,
the King of Ave has that of 'sLore oftwenty
four Umbrellas" This looks as if he had
prepared himself for long reignl
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

Count Mahony being once asked by the
Pope if he understood French, eyes, please
your holiness" said the honest Hiberian, "if
it were spoken in Irish"
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

[Thc original of this, everybody Knows
The parody, from Holden's Magazine, is un-
surpassed in its way.]
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

sACommon as light is love,
[Shelley.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02
THE ANNOYER.

by TIE MUSE.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1850-05-02

n straw bonnas are again in fashion at
The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1850-04-20
From the Louisville Journal |
THOUGHTS OF THEE.

BY LACY.
Think not because ne'er revealed
The love that in my DO ON burned,
Think not because kept concealed
he passion that thou woudt nave spurn'd
Or disbeliev'd if 'tweIe confessed,
Think not because there did appear
Another 10 me ye: more dear,
That thou vast not beloved by me;
Mower in this faithful breast
Has dwell hidden thought of thee.
l had gay word for the gay,
had merry, buoyant heart,
sang a wild and gladstone lay,
But was acting hen a part;
And tho the follies pursued
The whirl of pleasure that sought
Seemed to have been my only thought,
And SO light and fancy-free,
Sill in my widest, gayest mood
had a burning thought o. thee.
When darker moods came DER my soul
And yelled the sunshine beaming there,
Their shadows DER my spirit stole
The clouds of grief, remorse, despair;
Andmany wilddark thought would spring
Up burning there-then would there CLEAN
Athwart the gloom gladning beam,
Like day-dawn DER storm tossed sea,
And back the sunshine it would bring;
1t was gentle thought of thee
WILLowRILL, KY, Sept IS49.
The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1850-04-20

HThe card of DR.. Garrick, who hast just
removed into the city, will be found in another
column. Dr. G. has left an extensive prac-
tice in the neighborhood Of Mr.. Knowles, Scott
Township, to take up his residence in Evans
vile, where he has purchased property, and
become fixed fact" The reputation OF
DR.. G, as physician, will enable him to take
a standard place among the medical gentle
men OF our city. DR.. Ryland takes his place
in the "English settlement, just vacated by
DR.. G. DR.. Ryland is a young physician
but is already stepping into the confidence Of
those who have employed his services.