The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1850-02-13
Selling A Justice.
By DARNACLE,

/ By BARNACLE., s,a.s,ls14 sIt
20. that he were here TO write nns down - nj
ass butt remember, masters, that I am an ass
though il may not be written down, yet forgo
; Shuball Watson was true specimen
of a live Yankee pedler; shrcwd, eau
tious and perseryering. at bargain
ing he was swhole team, as he ex
pressed himself, and could sell more tin
ware in day than any other man in
the Bay State. He owned and occu
pied a small, old fashioned, and crazy
looking house, surrounded BY an acre
lot, the heirloom Of the family, and the
birthplace Of a long line of Watsons
which fate, fortune, and the flowing
tide Of population, willed should now be
the very centre Of the aristocratic vii
lage of C. Several large and Gle.
CANT modern mansions looked down
with a true Iordly air from what had
been few years since vacant lots, up.
on Shube's humble home, and seemed
to be thoroughly disgusted with the
view and odor Of his potato patch and
barn yard. Squire Wigglesby, the
Dogberry of C, and fully worthy
the honors Of his celebrated prototype,
was Shube's nearest ncighbor, and was
particularly ashamed Of his proximity
to the mosscovercd and dirty red hoy.
cl. He, together with his sympatl.i-
sing neighbors, heartily wished It at
any where rather than where it Was. Z
and had made several Jew-like efforts
to purchase from Shube that single
acre; but he was in no disposition to sell,
ever replying: bod rot it, don't zac.
ly like ter sell the humstead; I don't
know what / might be tempted tn du
for money; but dod rot don't zacly
like tor SELL e. 70
For this, if for no other reason. thew
hated him, and felt disposition TO an. an.
noy him as much as poss,ble-enough.
perhaps, to force him to sell at tiieir
prico, Nninberiess, then, we're the mn.
| 'ttaSs aafs. n his hers Gc# over the fence fence
they never returned. alive; if his COW
took moments advantage Of an open
gate and wandered into, the street, she,
was in pound as if by magic, and poor
Shube summoned before Squire Wig
glcsby and fined to the extent of the
law. 1t was no use to demonstrate,
the Squire, with all the imitation Of
little brief authority, only put it on har.
der, and Shube was soon unhappy as a
'cat in strange garrett One morning
this winter he prepared for a profes.
sional tour among the neighboring
towns. He first packed his wares in
an old, unpainted, steep-roofed box,
| placed upon sleigh bottom, and COW
cred it with sundry specimens of his
wares; such as tin lanters, pans, pots,
cnllcnders. wooden ware, &C., and or
namented in the rear with huge bay
to contain miscellaneous plunder; he
then fastened between the thills old
'Barebones, as he was generally known
in the neighborhood, sleepy looking
skeleton Of a horse Of a tarry white col
or, whose head and tail felt the attrac-
ton of gravitation forcibly, and then
finished off by buckling around Bare
bones's' neck string of large, old fash
ioned bells, many Of which were so worn
that clappcrs had fallen out long since.
Thus equipped Shube wrapped an old
patch quilt around his feet, fourished
his stick, and proceeded down the
street at an ambling pace, whilst the
few deep, frog-croaking base bells at
old 'Barebone's' neck, like the casta,
nets in the Cachuca, kept time to the
motion of his feet. He had not pro.
ceeded far before he was suddenly as.
tonishcd to see two myrmidons of the
law in the shape Of constables rush into
the street and seize old 'Barenones' by
the bride, who not being accustomed to
s"ch highwayman-like proceedings,
raised his head for once in his life and
snorted.
'Hollo! yeou-I say-what arc yeou
about 2 asked Shube, with astonish.
ment.
about about to take you before
the Squire.
what for ? I shu'd like ter know ?
Never you mind what for; come
along and you'll find out fast enough,
Cit cout, now-yu don't fool me-
l say-let GO, yeou.'
Make fool Of you I? no. no, some
body ahead Of us there-but come
along quietly or wen complain of You
for resisting an officer, and then II be
double fine.
Fine 0 snakes and beeswax
Now if this don't beat all Wa'al
now | shu'd jist like ter know what OF
arth I've done; soliloquized the poo,
victim, as he patiently followed ike /
sheep to the slaughter. In a few min
utes the party were in the presence o
tho yeritahjn Snnira SV;o1jaahv hirnuslf