The Portsmouth inquirer. [volume] (Portsmouth, O. [Ohio]) 1849-1855, 1850-11-18
Mlisfellaneons.
TOM TRIANGLE ;
oR LOVE AND eEoMETRY

Tom Triangle was chum at college.
He was, for the most part, clever, good
humored fellow, though somewhat less ad-
dicted to learnt g than TO gin and joking.
Often do the merry hours that we spent
together come back and look me in the
face-not pale and ghosi-like, but fresh
and breathing, with pleasant and familiar
smiles--come and dance round me with
their 'quips and cranks,' and uproarious
laughters, with the odor Of fragrant H i
vunas floating on their yellow locks; and
now and then luridly shining through
clouds of smoke, the face Of some Tutor
or Professor cleaning with immortal in
dignation. @3 g'a
But memo sine pitiis-thcre was one
exception to TOMS good humor. He
would suffer no jokes upon his name. Tru-
| ly. It was an unfortunate name; and, as
Will Winston was wont to say, neither
looked we'll writton, nor sounded well spo-
ken, besides boing nearly as dangerous 10
alter as those nice7cornered Dutch oaths
that came SO near choking William the
Testy! pom all other subjects, even
though at his own expense, his laugh was
free and hearty; but whenever his name
was the text, Tom growled and looked
wolish. twas evidently sore subject
with him, but exactly why none knew
He was SO we'll liked, that this singular
humor was generally respected; but, one
day, classmate, more wagglsh than
wise, slapping him on the shoulder, said:
tom, Pve problem for you.'
State it, said my chum.
If the three angles Of right-angled
triangle ure equal to two right angles
what are the angles of a Tom Triangle
equal to?'
"Sir,' replied my chum, if you must
push your investigations so far beyond
the books, I'll demonstrate Tom Trian'
gleto you at ten paces!'
He did so, and the curious student sac
rifced finger to the cause Of science.
At remote and uncertain periods, also
varying from one TO two weeks, Tom be
came gloomy aue abstractod; sighed, NUT
tered indstnctly of destiny and read OpiG
dc Arte Amanda, ct Remedio Amoris.--
suspected him. He said hard things Of
women in general. My suspicious chang
ed to conviction, The blind archer hoC
winged him, giving one Of those wound.
that kill not but ne'or heal Ho shun
ned women now-it must then be an OLE
matter. determined TO probe him. =
''Pom, said /, one evening, MS ne lean
Eod back in his easy chair, lazily watching
the smoke from his cigar, which for mo
mont. lovingly onveloped his nose, m,
then curled slowly upwards in blue wreath
to the ceiling; Tom, have you ever becr
in love! m geclg sa alt ~
Tom said nothing, but, tho end Of b
cigar grew very red, and fierce glanc,
shot out from under his eyebrows. s7 ~
MY dear fellow said /, repeating th'
question, and not seeming to notice thest
signs Of a storm, 'have you ever been ii
love2' ''l't paH 1t M 81
iYes,' thnndereG he, starting up like
shell from mortar, and upsetting q chai
upon my tenderest corn, g-,y syT ~.
| 'Heayensl What in the prme Of Eu
cid is The mosning OF all this, my worth,
Trianglel' exclaimedI, chuckling, in spit
of my agony, at the good shot had made
aConfound the sexp said Tom, striking
ncross the hoor. n tsitisg .qe fsnM tp.,
.Colmyourself, my donr fellow, and lie
us know what 'secret, bldcknn midnigh
hag' has brewed this tompest.i tgi
ITS a,yiIlainaus world said Tom, 'an
women hath, made i snch!'
! Heaven help you, replied |, you ar
certainly losing your sonses, and uttcrin
rank treason against beauty and lowell
ness. s$A " .e .s8ss
without the smile from partial beauty won,
OH, what were mnn!.--a world without a sun
Think Of that, Tom, and repent
sAll NONSENSE said my still excite
chum; sEyb, the first woman, put her fot
\ iuto the fountain Of human happiness, an
stirred up such dcucod quantity Of mu