The Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn. Territory) 1849-1855, 1850-08-01
From Mrs Swisshclm's Saturday Visier.
Bad Husbands.

y lady sends us a letter describing
the unkindness Of two men to their
wives, and asking our advice in the
matter We will give the following ex-
tract:
"But enough; he is killing her, and
married but five months. DO not cast
this away and say these are monsters,
! and not men. You would change your
opinion if you heard their names for
my part, think them fair sample of
the whole. One of these bears had TO
call in a physician, who told him her
disease was not in his line to cure, as it
was a disease Of the mind. have as
certained since, that he is not quite as
tyrannical as formerly; but she is in
decline.
Dear Mrs s., your Judge Watson
was very good man: | think | do not
know any better, and Susan did not
grieve twenty years as another acquaint
ance of mine has, who, thanks to "a good
constitution, is not in decline, and
don't intend to be. 1t is a long time
since the fervor of her love was gone.
and she has found it necessary to her
peace Of mind, to harden her heart
against any return Of the affections, or
rather against the going out Of the af-
fections, knowing by sad experience
they would be dashed ruthlessly back.
Do not try to make me think you know
nothing of this: every man is a tyrant
one way or another, and am always
glad to see an old bachelor, thinking
there is one less to be tormented
Our readers must not think we have
our fingers in family jar! We do not
know who the parties are, and speak of
the subject because we often get such
letters. 1t may be possible we can give
some advice that may be useful to some
one. In the first place, we hope the
writer will excuse us for satng frankly,
You are a bigot, madam, for holding
such an opinion as you express Of men
in the aggregate. 1t wants every ves-
ltige of truth or probability. All men
are mortal, and all liable to err; but in
the whole circle Of our acquaintance,
we know of bu, two entitled to the name
Of tyrant, and we consider them both
insane Our constant wonder is, that
with our present marriage laws, we have
so few bad husbands-so few who are
disposed to exercise the full extent of
their power conferred upon them by the
marriage covenant There are quite
as many wives who, by cunning, subter-
fuge and deceit, ryranize over their
husbands, as there are husbands who,
by superior power, enslave their wives
This we look upon as the natural con-
sequence of the doctrine of women 5
inferiority and duty Of subjection.
Lying is the vice of slaves, and is
taught to women as the highest virtue.
In the first place an accomplished edu-
cation" is little more than the art of ap-
pearing what she is not, to get husband.
Then comes the lifelong lie Of managing
him by those little arts of cajolery, which
the Dana school poetizes with such
phrases as, "the strength of weakness, u
"the sceptre Of love-" Our literature
is teeming with particular directions
about the modus Operandi. If Mrs.
Brown wants new carpet, she does not
ask Mr. Brown directly and explicitly
about the state of their finances, and the
proprlety of tha purchase; but she con-
trives to call with him at the Jones's,
where superb one has just been put
down. She must talk about Jones :
carpet, cast sidelong looks at their own
faded one, sigh, look sad, speak with a
melancholy cadence, and always address
Mr.. Brown as "my dear" Particular
attention must be paid to his dinner-hi:
, coffee must be in fine order and his slip.
pers Just at hand; but still soft melan
ancholy must reign on the placid face
of the injured wife, as she walks mourn
fully over the old carpet. AlLthis time
nothing must be said; but Brown mus
feel that the sunshine of happiness cal
never beam upon the face of Mrs
Brown, until it reflects from bran new
carpet. When the carpet comes, the
; lady has "managed her card"-it Is tha
much of a gain to her, no matter if j
: should be heavy loss to him. Thci
: interests are not one. The business o
the firm is not a ioint-stock; idoo
matters are his busincss-in-door inter
ests are hers.
Upon this principle majority Of mar
ried lives are based; and the phases j
assumes are almost infinite. The mor'
: tyrannical and domineering HUSBAND
: is, the more cunning and deceitful
= wife must become to manage him, unles
she yields and sinks into an abjec
slavery as some few do. But the cas-
II is in point. The sorrows of wife @
five months are not to be approache
lightly We have heard much abou
"honey moon," but have an idea tn
honey is all in the moon-that the ina
ginary happiness is all moonshine. Oh
= servation leads us to think the first yea
Of married life is more generally un
happy than any after that period-tha
d there is in fact more intense wretched
: ness crowded into that space, than sh
: was ever before, or is ever after capu
bic of enduring in lifetime. Our ad
d vice would be "Sufier and be strong
y watch and wait until you have grow
accustomed to Your new position. Yo