Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1850-11-28

Tn1llIluI LI1cs
Mr.. Archy Stanhope-a GROCERY
sentimentalisi, residing in Buckley
street. Philadelphia ia-conceived the
narrowing suspicion that his wife
was not passionately fond OF him as
a lady Of good taste should be; and
to put the matter TO fair trial, he
hit on a little stratagem, which he
put in practice the other day, with
the result hereafter to be detailed.
He took a suit of clothes and
made an effigy OF himself, by stuffing
the garments with a quantity Of
straw. which had lately been dis
charged from an old bed. Having
suspended the figure to a ralter in
the garret, by means Of piece oi
cIuthes line, he ensconced himself be-
hind pile Of rubbish, in the same
earret to watch the effect.
After a while little daughter came
up after a jumping rope, and caught
glimpse of the suspended figure
She ran down the stairs screaming,
"Oh mother. daddy's hung himset." )"
"Now for it," thought Archibald,
in ambuscade: tive shall have a
touching scene presently"
"Huug himself" he heard Mrs.
Stanhope repeat as she walked
leisurely up stairs: che hasn't got
spunk enough for such thing, or he
would have done it long ago. Well,
! do believe he has done it, however" "
she continued, as she came in view
of the straw representative. "Molly.
Ito the little girl) ] ;hink he ought TO
be cut down. You had better go
down into the kitchen and get knife,
my dear; but don't go too fast, or
you might fall and hur; yourself
Slay-I forgot, there's no knife in
the kitchen sharp enough. You can
lgo round TO Mr." Holmes, the shoe
maker, Sixth street, he's only tWo
squares of. and ask him to lend us
his pairing kniie-tell him 10 whet il
a little before ne sends it. And, Mol
ly, while you are in the neighbor'
hood. you can call at your aunt
Sukev's and ask how the baby is.--
And Molly, you can stop at the gro
cerv store as you come back and ge
me a pound oI seven cent sugar."
"Poor Archy." sighed Mrs. Stan
hope. when her daughter had de
parted; 81 think | ought to let hin
had his way for once in his life; ht
used TO say that | was always cross
ing him. | wish he hadn't spoiled
that new clothes line, though--ar
old rope might have answered hi:
purpose"
Here a voice, which sounded like
that Of The supposed suicide, broke il
on Mrs. Stanhope's soIiloquy, with
"you confounded old Jezebel--I'l
be the death ol you"
Mrs. s. thinking this must, Of course
he ghostly exclamation, uttered a
wild scream, and attempted to es-
cape down a narrow staircase. Ar.
chibald, starting from his place oI
concealment, gave chase. Mrs. s.
stumbled midway on the flight oil
steps, and Mr.. S. having Just reach
ed her, and made a grasp at her dis
heveled hair as it streamed back
! ward, The amiable partners were
precipitated TO the bottom together.
Both were badly bruised, and the
cries OF the lady raised The neighbor-
hood. Archibald was arrested for
making a disturbance and practicing
on The tender sensibiliIies OF his wi e.
He was recognized in the sum Of two
hundred dollars. and iocularly pro-
posed his suspended efigy as securi-
iy--but ''slraw bail'' as he found 10
his sorrow, is not acceptable under
the administration Of Mayor Jones.
PennSViUanian.