The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1850-02-13
Selling a Justice.
BY BARNACLE.

BI BAhNACLEs sTisEH Et4 p.
20. that ho were here 10 write me down - ii,
ass but, remember, mnsteis, that am an ass;
though it may not be written down, yet forgot
not that am ass:--" ~ ehi 90
Shuball Watson was true specimen
of a live Yankee pedler; shrcwd, eau.
tious and perserveling. At bargain.
ing he was q swhole team,' as he ex.
pressed himself, and could sell more tin
ware in o day than any other man in
the Bay State. He owned and occu.
pied small, old fashioned, and crazy
looking house, surrounded BY an acre
! lot, the heirloom Of the family, and the
birthplace of long line of Watsons,
which fate, fortune, and the flowing
tide of population, willed should now be
the very centre ofthe aristocratic vii.
lage of C. Several large and ele-
giant modern mansions looked down
with q true lordly air from what had
been few years since vacant lots, up
OH Shube's humble home, and seemed
to be thoroughly disgusted with the
view and odor Of his potato patch and
barn yard. Squire Wigglcsby, the
Dogberry Of C, and fully worthy
the honors Of his celebrated prototype,
was Shube's nearest neighbor, and was
particularly ashamed Of his proximity
to the moss-covercd and dirty red how
el. He, together with his sympathi-
zing neighbors, heartily wished it at -,
any where rather than where it was.
and had made several Jew-like efforts
to purchase from Shube that single
acre; buthe was in no disposition to sell,
ever replying: bod rot it, I don't zac,
ly like ter sell the humstead; don't
know what ! might be tempted tn du
for money; but dod rotit I don't zacly
like ter SELL sai 80
For this, if for no other reason, they
hated him, and felt a disposition to an
noy him as much as possble-enough,
perhaps, to force him to sell at tlieir
price. Nnnbcrless. then, were the an.
';taSs dafs. s. lflrS i,eus acw over the fence
they never returned. alive; If his con-
took moments advantage Of nm open
gate and wandered into the street, She
was in pound as if by magic, and poor
Shu5e summoned before Squire Wig
glcsby and fined to the extent of the
law. 1t was no use to demonstrate,
the Squire, with all the imitation of
little brief authority, only put it on har.
der, and Shube was soon unhappy us
'cat in strange garrett One morning
this winter he prepared for profcs.
sional tour among the neighboring
towns. He first packed his wares in
an old, unpainted, steep-roofed box,
placed upon a sleigh bottom, and COW
cred it with sundry specimens of his
wares; such as tin lanters, pans, pots,
cnlcnders. wooden ware, &C., and or
namented in the rear with huge bay
to contain miscellaneous plunder; he
then fastened between the thills old
'Bareboncs, as he was generally known
in the neighborhood, sleepy looking
skeleton ola horse Of tarry white COL
or, whose head and tail felt the attrac.
ton of gravita,ion forcibly, and then
finished off by buckling around Bare
bones's' neck string of large, old fash.
ioncd bells, many Of which we're so worn
that clappcrs had fallen out long since.
Thus equipped Shubc wrapped an old
patch quilt around his feet, Hourished
his stick, and proceeded down the
street at an ambling pace, whilst the
few deep, frogcroaking base bells at
old 'Barebonc's' neck, like the casta.
nets in the Cachuca, kept time to the
motion Of his feet. lie had not pro.
cecded far before he was suddenly as.
tonishcd to sec two myrmidons of the
law in tho shape Of constables rush into
the street and seize old 'Barenoncs' by
the bride, who not being accustomed to
such highwayman-liko proceedings,
raised his head for once in his life and
snortcd.
'Hollo ycou II say-what are ycou
about 2 asked Shube, with astonish.
ment.
about? about to take you before
the Squire.
'What for ? I shu'd like ter know .
'Nevcr you mind what for; como
along and you'll find out fast enough.
'Git eout, now-yu don't fool me-
| say--let go, yeou.
Make fool of you ? no. no, some
body ahead Of us there-but come
along quietly or well complain of you
for resisting All officer, and then I'll be
double fine
Fine o snakes and beeswax
Now if this don't beat all Wa'al
now | shu'd jist like ter know wha. OF
arth I've done; soliloquized the poor
victim, as he patiently followed like {
sheep to the slaughter. IN n few min
ntes the party were in the presence o
tho unritahle Snnira Winnln nahu hirnrolf