Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1850-08-21
POPPING TIE EsTiON.

The following is the confession of an
old bachelor, who describes himself as
being now so dried up, that he is little
better than mummy, and expects some
of these days, to be blown away into dust.
lie advises all young men TO get married
and tells them how to manage 1.-The court
ing" The old fellow speaks like one
who knows, tho he has a touch of the crab
apple in him; perhaps he got Tilted wher
young. Notwithstanding he pretonds 10 be
SO perfectly an fat:
snow gentlemen. this going a courting
is nothing to be afraid Of, if. like me, one
understands how TO do it, don't mean
to boast, but-the fact was in my young
days was up TO thing or two In the
first place, give out that you are a marry
ing man! II will smooth difficulties won
derfully. Brothers will invite YOU to din
ner-mammas ask their daughters TO sing
your favorlte songs-your opinion will be
asked on all points-and il the family
have a country seat. YOU can 20 there eve
ry Saturday night and stay till Monday.
the summer through. without spending a
somarchee. You've no idea, sir. what an
easy thing lovemaking becomes under
such sircumsta nces. \ walk by moon
light, a chance meeting at early morning
in the garden. or a summer afternoon to-
gether in the alcoves does the business
10 tell the truth, never came SO near 60
ing as when spent aweek in the country
with bridesmaid had waited on; there
was porch almost buried in honeysuckle.
behind the house. and adjoining the gar
den, which was perfect paradise. There
we used to sit. ard one day. if il had'n,
been that the old gentlemen woke from his
nap and threw up the parlor window. Just
as | got his daughters hand in mine. the
question would have popped itself
lyon stare; but repeat it would have
popped itself The fact s-between our
selves. those things comes astonishinglv
natural after all. quite as if one was bro't
up to them from child Don't trouble
yourself about how YOU look. or what YOU
shall say--the best thin. YOU can do is.
not TO think of the matter al all. but make
plunge at once. and then the business is
soon over. There are thousand WAYS to
pop the question. as there are a thousand
ways to make love Some do it with easy
impudence-scme choke for words and
stick fast-some deliver set speech. and
HUM ioi a tiCuii ipt pii iiic "a pct ~ -
down on their knees-and some glide IN
to it gradually like a hawk narrowing his
gvrations before he stoops. the poor girl
sitting beside him all the time. heart flat
tering in her bodice like frightened
bird. I've heard of one or two poor sin,
ners who popped the question in the street
There's only one way more certain 10 in
sure refusal. and that is 10 propose in a
i.,,r
willis always frightened when She comes
seriously to think of leaving her parents
to trust her all with a comparative stran-
ger, and if you give her time TO look at
these matters coolly. ten 10 one she'll give
YOU denial am an old man. and have
seen the world. and let me tell YOU. the
girl who yields in tears. on a moonlight
evening. would write civil refusal or an
equivocal answer the next morning after
breakfast. And then what fool lover
makes himself on paper! read some
letters the other day--the gods forgive my
sins for writing such.
'.lt's n mistake. sir. in these matters. 10
lend the young helping hand-all they
ask is 10 be left alone-and if there are
any meddling youngsters about have 'em
put to bed. or drowned. it don't matter
which. so they out of the way. Only
give 10 lovers iair play. kick your match
making aun,s to the deuce. and. my life
on il! the most demure will find way of
being understood. even if, like old Sir
Isaac Newton. they have to make love with
their feet. Ii may come rather odd at first.
but they will sit looking into each others
eyes until, by and by. their hands will
some how steal into each other. and so
getting cosier and cosier. the question
when they least expect it, will pop out like
cork from champaign bottle. 1t will
v~ov, ;,So1ces