Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1850-08-14
THE EDITOR AND HIS SUBSCRIBERS.

81 pity the printer,' said my uncle Toby.
"te's a poor creature" rejoined Trim -
"How SO :" said my uncle. "Because, in
the first place." continued the corporal,
looking full upon my uncle, "Because he
must endeavor to please every body. In the
negligence of moment, perhaps, small
paragraph pops upon him he hastily hands
it to the compositor; j. is inserted: and he
is ruined, to all in.en,s and purposes."-
''Too much the case, Trm," said my uncle,
with deep sigh; "too-much-lhe-
"And please your honour," "conlinued Trim"
elevating his voice and striking into all i'm
p!oring attitude, ''lhis is no, The whole."-I
$50 on Trim," said my uncle, feelingly.
"The printer, somelimes,'' pursued the cor
poral, "hits upon piece that peases him
nightly and thinks ii canno. bu. go down
with his subscribers, But alas! Sir, who
can calculate the human mind He inserts
it, and j. is all over with him. They for
give others, but they cannot forgive prin
ter. He has host to prin. for, and every
one sets up for critic. The pretty Miss
exclaims, 'Why don't you give US more poe
try, marriages, and bon mots away with
these stale pieces.' The politician clasps
his specks on his nose, and reads it over in
search of a violent invective; lie finds none,
takes specks of, folds them, and sticks them
in his pocket, declaring the paper good for
nothing but to burn. So it goes, every one
thinks it ought to be printed expressly for
himself, as he is a subscriber; and yet, al
ter all this complaining, would you believe
/ ho ol hoe
"would you believe it, sir, there are some
subscribers who do not hesitate to cheat the
printer ou, of his pay? Our army swore
terribly in Flanders, bu, they never did any
thing SO bad as tia. ~ sNever !" said my
uncle Toby cally.-Sterne.
TOBACCO JUIcE.-We jus, now think
what an ocean of tobacco juice is squirled
away by a sensible people! Rivers and
oceans, what flood Who can compute
it, or the amount Of the mos. nauseous weed
in the vegetable kingdom, chewed up and
spit out? Wonder the earth don't become
stained with filth and burdened with old
guilds. Speaking Of quids, reminds us Of
one we found in our office the other morn
ing, in size such as was never read Of II,
lay lengthways in the hall. A shilling pa
per of fine cut was there entombed, we'll
wager. The Street Commissioner has been
called in with an inquest of shovels. To-
bacco guilds put US in mind of an incident
which las. winter happened at prayer
meeting in this city. An old enemy of the
weed, who had destroyed it by wholesale,
was called upon to pray. With much care
he rolled away a monster roll from his
mouth to the bench, there to lie till The
prayer had been made. waggish brother,
not having the fear of wry faces before his
eyes, but plenty of powdered cayenne pep
per in his pocket, slyly peppered o'er the
innocent quid, most plen,eousIy. Prayer
was made, and the old soldier again placed
on duty. Sphi'! split, sp-sIr s-i-p-whew !!
srHowTH and the highly morsel
fell upon the floor, while the tears rolled
down the devoted mans Cayuga
Chief.
"Here, you little rascal, walk up and give
an account of yourself! Where have you
been %
"After the gals, father"
"Did you ever know me TO do SO when
was boy"
mo: slf-bus mother did"