The Woodville Republican. [volume] (Woodville, Miss.) 1847-1853, 1850-05-14
For the Republican,
WOMAN AS SHE Is.

| twould be useless to go into the geneal-
ogy of m Her origin is distinct and
well accounted for in scripture, if no where
else. BY magic or surgery, she was taken
from the first man, Adam, while he was
asleep; and out of the many bones, arteries,
nerves, veins, muscles, and the multitude of
tissues OF the human body, she, according to
all accounts, is nothing but a mere r76, SIX
or eight inches long-Gf Dutch eight, if
Native American s%ix)--poor sister--and at
the same called the "bctter haLf" of crea-
ton, which tho proves very conclusivcly
the adamant doctrine of total depravity ho-
muopathically considered. The more intin-
ilely diluted or divided, the greater the ef-
feet. Man, on an average in bulk and
weight, is wicked enough to corrupt heav-
en-, and hurl cherubims and ~seraphims from
the throne of the Most High, What wo-
man, the inlnltesimal of man, is, the no.
mppathics must calculate. But as an old
bachelor, we will not dispute the Genesis
account of her origin, utility or destination.
She got into the world by fair means, as a
help for man, either to do good or raise q
rumpus, generally as circumstances govern,
but we soon find her in the performance Of
the latter business, tempting man to eat o.
forbidden apples, which resulted in his sub.
sequent condemnation and misery. "Be
hold how great a flame a little spark kin
t dleth" just because Adam went to sleeI
aud let one of his ribs slip out from ande
: his Jacket, Adam, sinner like, blames Eve
his lr!fe, Qhough there were no Justices o
the Peace in those days to marry them,
; and Eve creeps out of the dilemma b,
r charging it to the over-persuasion of tn
! serpent.
! A venerable maid of our acquaintance, O.
!. the shady side Of romance, and moreove
- has u dreadful ~antipathy to spiders an
g snakes, declares "'twas no serpent, but or
{ ly a diminutive worm that had taken ii
abode in that fruit. 1t matters not how G
a what the case was, women, from time in
memorial, have been trying to set creatio
o upside down. Lots wife, not being col
tent with being flesh and blood, must tur
c into a pillar of salt, when mercy knows, 81
was salty enough before. Women kel
# pretty quiet in the Ark at the time of II
Flood, for the very good reason, they wei
too Sea-Slck to scould. But she made Il
u for it afterwards, Twas she that inventt
- all that confusion Of tongues at che buildir
Of the tower Of Babel, and the eternal ella
W ter has been going ever since.
OF Some machinists have ventured the OPT
= ion that their tongues work on an ani-fri
ton pivot-this notion is absurd; there
TOO much sqstak@sS in the machinery.
1t is an observation of Importance III
W women have a finger in every body's pi
10 and it is is generally allowed, provided tn
eohine their fingers to such pies as &c
stomach TO nourish the system But TO sti,
; their meddlesome fingers into ones hair.
pun wool over his e~yes-claw at his hea
and thereby upset his affection, is beyoI
endurance. Indigestion follows, sighil
and sorrow accompany, and the first wo
p OF God in the line OF bipeds, without feat
ers' becomes a wreck TO the manipulate
OF woman. lrremediable ruin is his doc
~ II that beyond her PREPARATION. She G.
j. mend a rip in his indispensibles, but not
ed his heart.
IS We have no very great hostility to "
II men, but are inclined to think, if she h
~ sprung from the other side Of man :
i would have beeu right.
Of Youfs, TIMOTHY.
e! COTTAGE GROVE, May LIST, 1850.
AZ 10 The U. S. Ship Quo, IA. under co,
to mand of Cant & K S,r;bl;,n go. II.