Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1850-04-26
New Series-Yof. 4-No. 81.
A LANDLORD GRATEEIED,

| fankee-but whether he wasa trader
or not, | can't say-stopped at tavern.
somewhere in the State of Pennsvlyania.
! called for fixins," and after swallowing a
pretty considerable bill, retired. Mean
while the landlord and interlopers were
busily engaged in conversation. By and
by, Yankees and Yankee tricks were dis
cussed. The landlord informed the bar
room company there was live Yankee
IN the house, and if 'twere possible, he
would have q trick or two. out of him be-
tore he left. while the aforesaid hangers-on
were to be witnesses. After a .f pleasant
smile" all around, at the landlords ex-
pense, they left.
Next morning, landlord and company
were ready to snap at Mr.. Yankee, as
soon as he made his appearance. Break
last being over, in walks Jonathan, with an
air peculiar TO folks g deoun east" paid
his bill, and was about to depart, when
the landlord accosted him with
< on, 1t is plain to see, sir, are Yam
kee Can or will you oblige US with
trick or two, for assure YOU we are will
ling to be tricked if YOU can do it,
] q
! few III my time, but dunno as kin dew
/ anythln' smart this mornin'.''
'Oh do. Let's have a trick" cried
the eager crowd.
" Wall, SEEM it's yeou, I'll do it Jest to
please yer; but | swow, you mustn't git
mao"
Oh no, not at alI,'' says the landlord.
"fl go his secdritv," chimed old
Rumnose.
reckon" says Jonathan, vew sell a
Prodigious sight of liquor in these parts,
and good tew. You've a pipe of wine
down cellar, eh ?''
Oh, rale stuff, too. can tell you."
Wall, says Jonathan, g come along.
all yeou that want to behold the miracle
performed ;" and down they went into the
cellar. The said pipe was pointed out.
Meow" says the Yankee, $ gentlemen,
yew see that pipe of wine, dew yeou %
A nod of assent went the rounds of the
crowd. Wall, meow, can take brandy
out of one end, and gin out of tother.''
:" Do it, and you can take my head for
football" exclaimed the landlord.
Jonathan cody drew from his pocket
large gimlet, and bored hole in one end
OF the pipe, which hole the landlord was
requested to hold with his thumb. He
did so; and soon a hole was bored in
" tother end" Jonathan kept a sober
phIz during the operation, and requested
the landlord to stop up the t'other, while
he went after somethin' to put the derned
stuff IN. The landlord complied with his
request, and stretched across the pipe, re-
sembllng man-o-war's man about to re-
celve dozen with the " cat.'' Jonathan
meanwhile decamped, he did. The land
lord S back began to ache, and he began TO
think the Yankee was a long time getting
vlals to put the liquor in. Soon the vials
OF his wrath began to boil over, and words
too deep for human ears were struggling
for utterance, and he, holding on, en-
deavored to keep the wine from leaking
out. Soon the hoax began to leak from
the outsiders. BY and by, one gave a
laugh, and guessed the landlord was done
leetle the brownest of ANYTHING he'd
ever seen; and then didn't the walls of
the old cellar ring again with bursts of
laughter! Well, they did.
The landlord raved and swore almost
no, he was deacon in the church And
at last he broke forth with, :. Dog my eter-
nal cats, if | hain't been tricked by the
coniounded Yankee" He tried to get
some one of the crowd to supply his place,
but old Rumnose never let good oppor-
tunity slip; he thought it would be well,
inasmuch as the landlord had allowed him.
self 10 be tricked by Mr.. Yankee Doodle,
that he (the landlord) should treat all hands,
which having promised faithfully to do,
they released the landlord from his tire
some position after losing his patience and
some of his wine.