The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-07-10
THE DUBLIN GENT,

Before IN TACT II be too late,
The value of the Printer.
THE DUBLIN GENT,
OR THE sELF.wAITING DINNER TABLE.
Byron has said that s'this is the patent age of
new Inventions but the spirit of invention was
in its crysalis state only, when thus Byron wrote
or spoke. 1t has now taken to itself wings and
flown abroad, penetrating every department of
science OF the arts and mechanics. One of the
last inventions for which we are indebted to the
genius of one of our Yankee countrymen, is a
self-waiting dinner table. We saw notice in
several Of the northern papers, but paid no very
particular attention to it to ascertain the princi-
pie on which it is constructed. The main fea-
ture of it, we know, however, is, that by the op-
Grafton Of pivot, the several guests sitting
round a table, can, without moving from theil
seats or without the aid of a servant, help them.
selves to any thing on it; and hence, it is called
se,f,oaiting dinner table, An Irishman
fresh from the banks of the Liffy, who was an
fait at cutting dash upon small capital, hav-
ing graduated in that best of all schools for for
ming such acharacter-the city of Dublin-met
with the paragraph in one of the papers, Thurs
day morning, and not being very deeply versed
in the more abstruse mysteries of mechanics
was somewhat puzzled to know it's purpose
Passing by downtown restaurat, about 2 o.
clock, r. M, the same day, he saw, on circular
table covered with snow white diaper, round
of spiced beef, a cold turkey, and a pair of cold
roast chickens, with bread, salt, castors, knives,
forks napkins, and all other ct ceteras to consti-
tute comfortable dinner for four. 1t was or.
dered by one of party of that number going
out to the Regatta, who promised to return and
partake it, in all between three and half past
four o'clock. Our Dublin Gent, having been
perambulating the city, taking look at the H.
ons it being his first visit to the Crescent, pass
ed the restaurant again at,three, and there was
still the plentiful supply ofcold edibles Being,
truth TO say, somwhat puzzled where to dine,
conjecture began to exercise itself in his mind,
to divine the cause of the tempting viands, so
long left untouched, which seemed to say,
"come and eat u.s." An idea struck him, and
to him it was happy solution of the mystery.
He concluded that the table which he deserted
through the glass door of the restaurant was no
other than the sself-waiting' dinner table of
which he had read in the papers that morning,
and "Be me honor" said he, soliloquising, ga
mighty fine invintion it is; and sure it must be
myself it has been waiting for all this time -
Saying this, he brushed down the fur of shock
ing bad hat with "wipe," which for sometime
had not seen mangle; adjusted the collar of
not over-clean diekey, stroked down his goatee,
and, assuming an easy, confident air, walked IN
to the restaurant and seated himself at the round
table, with round of beef, turkey, chickens,
&c, before him. Before he was we'll seated,
the obsequious waiter, thinking he was one of
the party for whom the dinner was ordered, was
by his side, with an-"Allow ME to take your
hat, sirs" sThat hats tile. my friend" said
the Dublin Gent, presenting it to him with
dignifed air.
'sAh, you is funny gentleman, I see, sir"
said the waiter, "to call your hat tile
eyes, john" said the Dublin Gent-"shall
call you John ?-never knew waiter with any
other name. The name in my opinion, units a
man for any other calling; but as was about
to say, John--some of the more vulgar of hui
mainly carry bricks in their hat-I wear a tile
me head. Now about this dinner"
ssBeen waitin' this hour nearly" says John,
swe always is accommodatin here 70 good Gus
toners.
"Glad to hear it, said the Dublin Gent; 81
shall patronize your establishment" And du-
ring this conversation he was dssecting the cold
chickens in manner that would have done
credit to student of Surgeons Hail.
tsAnything to drink, sir 7" said John.
"Dhrink? said the Dublin Gent, sis that
,caitin for me too ?"
Els, sir, said John, "it has been in coolers
for the last hour
Dublin Gent: "some Of Johnny Powers,
have no doubt 2"
sJohn: s.Don't zacley know, sir. know its
p0werful strong howsomever." #
Dublin Gent: ssThin, be the time you think
have the claret drunk, providin' I'm not drunk
meself, as well as the claret, bring me materi-
ais for rousin' tumbler''
John Very good, sir. [Going.] You shall
have f.
Du5lia Cant s4John, word with you
{ John returns.] John, stop a moment: let me