Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1850-11-30
\ Select Gale
u N Gle BILL.
A TALE ABOUT LOVE AND GOLD DUST

Uncle Bill Griffin, or Uncle Bill, as he
was commonly called, with an irreverent
disregard of his patronymic, did not retire
from the ship chandlery business till he
was worth something more than plum
Not being blessed with son to continue
his name and inherit his fortune, he lavish
ed all his tenderness and care upon his
daughter. Sweet Molly Griffin, thou vert
as unlike thy papa as canary bird is like
a bull dog. His face was as hard as a Dutch
nut-cracker; thine, as soft as a rose leaf.
He was the veriest miser in all creation;
thou didSt spend thy pocket money as lib
orally as Prince of Wales. In his house
hold management, Uncle Bill was con-
summate skinfint; tradition said that he
used to soak the back logs in the cistern,
and water the lamp oil, and he was aided
and abetted in all his niggardly domestic
schemes by vinegar faced old house-keep-
er, who was the sworn enemy of all good
cheer, and stinted from the pure love of
meanness. Yet pretty Mary had no rea-
son to complain of her fathers penurious-
ness as far as she was concerned. He sent
her to the best schools, and gave her carte
blanche on the most expensive milliners,
and when she walked Washington street of
a sunny day, there was no more gaily be-
decked damsel to be seen from Cornhill to
Essex street.
OF course several very nice young men
in vanished leather and white kid gloves,
fell over head and ears in love with her,
and there was larger number of whiskers
4 collected outside of the meeting she attend
ed on Sunday than darkened the doorstepS
Of any other metropolitan church.
Yet cold was the maid and though legions advanced,
In drilled Ovdian art
Though they langushod and oged protested and danced
Like shadows they came and like shadows they glanced
From the pdre polished ice of her heart.
Besides, Uncle Bill was formidable
guardian to his attractive daughter. Die
he not fire a charge OF rock salt into the
inexpressibles of Tom Bilkins, when he
came serenadng with a cracked guitar
Didn't he threaten to kick Towle for leav
ing valentine at his door? Wasn't hC
capable of unheard-of-atrocities? The sui
f tors of pretty Mary were all frightened of
. by the course of her ogre of father, eX
c cept a steady young fellow who rejoice'
in the name of Sampson Bttels, and VIII
was addicted to bookkeeping in whole
sale grocery store on Commerce street,
The old gentleman really liked Bittles; h
was so staid, so quiet, SO full of Information
J He was regular price current, and n
man on change was better acquainted wit
the price of stocks. Why Mary liked hin
d it is difficult to conjecture, for he was S
', very deficient in the small talk that youn
1t ladies' are SO fond Of; was averse to mou.
taches; disliked the opera; thought tn
ballet immoral, and considered waltzin
Il indeicate. Perhaps his good looks con
e. pensated for other deficiencies, or perhaI
= = horror of dying in state of single BILE
> sedness induced her to countenance tn
only young man Uncle Ben was ey,
= known to tolerate.
II. One evening Bittles screwed up his cou
age to the task of addressing the old man
the subject nearest his heart.
"Mr. Griffin" said he, 81 have had som
: thing here for a long time," and he mat
- up horrible face, and placed his har
somewhere near his heart.
) dyspepsia 2" said the old man.
M "Your daughter" gasped the young on
"Well, what about her ?" asked Unc
bill, sharpishly.