Fremont weekly freeman. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1850-1853, 1850-09-14
Uncle BiII--A sketch about Love
and Gold Dust.

Uncle BiII--A sketch about Love
and Gold Dust.
Uncle Bill Griffin, or Uncle Bill as he was
commonly called, with an irreverant disregard
of his patronymic, did not retire from the ship
chandlery business till he was worth something
more than plum. Not being blessed with
son to continue his name and inherit his fort
uEe, he lavished all his tenderness and care
upon his daughter. Sweet Molly Griffin, thou
vert as unlike thy papa, as Canary bird is
like bull dog. His face was hard as Dutch
nut-cracker, thine as soft as a rose leaf. He
was the veriest miser in creatien-thou didst
! spend thy pocket-money as iberally as the
prince of Wales. In his household manage
ment Uncle Bill was consumate skinfint; -
tradition said he used to soak the backlogs in
the cistern and water the lamp oil, and he
was aided and abetted in all his niggardly do
mestic schemes by a vinegar-faced old house
keeper, who was the sworn enemy of all good
cheer, and stinted from pure love of mean
ness. Yet pretty Mary had no reason to COM
plain of her fathers penuriousness, as far as
she was concerned. He sent her to the best
schools, and gave her carte HQmch on the
most expensive miners, and when she walk
ed Washington street of Sunday, there was
no more gaily bedecked damsel to be seen
from Cornhill to Essex street
Of course some very nice young men, in
vanished leather and white kids fell over head
and ears in love with her, and there was lar
ger number of whiskers collected outside of
the meeting she attended on Sunday than dar-
kened the doorsteps of any other metropolitan
church.
Yet cold the maid, and though egions advanced,
| All drilled in Ovidian art;
Though they languished and ogled, protested and
| danced,
Like shadows they came, and like shadows they
| glanced,
From the pure polished ice Of the heart.
| Besides, old Uncle Bill was a formidable
! guardian to his attractive daughter. Did he
not fire charge of rock salt into the inexpres-
sibles of Tom Bikins, when he came serena
ding with cracked guitar? Didn't he threat
en- to kick Towle for leaving avalentine at his
door?
Wasn't he capable of perpetrating unheard
of atrocities? The suitors of pretty Merry
were all frightened off of course by her ogre
of father, except steady young fellow who
rejoiced in the name of Sampson BittIes, and
who was addicted to book keeping in whole
sale grocery store on Commercial street The
old gentleman really liked Bittles; he was so
staid, so quiet, and so full of information. He
was regular price currant and no man on
change was better acquainted with the value
Of stocks. Why Mary liked him it is more
difficult TO conjecture, for he was very deficient
in small talk that young ladies are so fond of,
was averse to moustaches, disliked the opera,
thought the ballet immoral and considered
waltzing indelicate.
Perhaps his good looks compensated for
other deficiencies, or perhaps horror of dy-
ing in state of single blessedness induced
her to countenance the only young man Uncle
Bill was ever known to tolerate.
One evening Bittles screwed up his courage
to the task of addressing the old man on the
subject nearest to his heart
'Mr. Griffin said he, 4 have had something
here for long time and he made horrible
face, and placed his hand some where near his
heart.
I Dyspepsia? p asked the old man.
Your daughter gasped the young book
keeper.
well, what about her . asked Uncle Bill,
sharpishly.
4 am in love with her, said the unhappy
clerk
'Humbugl' said Uncle Bill
'Faot!' rejoined Bittles
What is your income p inquired Uncle Bill
Griffin.
Eight hundred answered the suppicant
1T won't do, my boy said Griffin shaking
his grim locks No man on a salary shall
marry my daughter. Why, she's the finest
girl in Boston, and it takes capital to marry a
fine girl When you have thirty thousand
dollars to begin with, you may come and talk
to Ipe.
Bittles disappeared Six months after that
Miss Mary Griffin received the following letter
with an endorsement of Uncle Sam acknowl-
edging the receipt of forty cents. 1t runs
thus:
San Francisco, California, Ie49
DEAREsr MARY:-Enclosed you will find spec
linen of California gold which please hand your fa-
ther and oblige. Have to advise you of my return
to Boston. Please inform your father that have
made fifty thousand dollars at the mines. and shall
| (wind and weather permittng) soon call upon him
to talk over that matter aud arrange the terms of
| partnership. Yours TO command,
| SAMPSON BITTL LES
Mary, as in duty bound, handed the epstle
to her father, who was overjoyed,
Some weeks elapsed and the return of the
steamer to New York was teegraphed. Grif-
fin was on the gui UiUe to see his future son in
| law.
On the day of his expected arrival he met
with Californian who came home in the same
ship
Where is Bittles?' he inquired.
'Oh, you'll see him before great WHILE
replied he.
Has he been lucky?'
'Yes-ffty thousand at the lowest figure
But he's going to try game over you. He
means to tell you that he has been robbed of
all his gold on the way home, to see if you
have any generosity and disinterestedness-
see whether you'd give your daughter to him
gold or no gold
Sly boy!' chuckled old Griffin. I'm much
obliged to you for the hint I'll act according
ly. Good morning,
Now it happened the Californian was good
friend of Bittles, and that the story of Bttles
xvoe ,heoIufalvy frua he haVinU hopO