Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1850-08-23
From Arthur's Home Gazette.
Hunting up Testimonial.
BY JOHN ZONES Jp


ago" Doctor Eve been reading your advertisement
about the UNIVERSAL REsToRER AND BAIsAM OF
LIFE and if that Mr. John Johusons testimony is to
be relied on, it ought to suit my case for in desert
bling his own sufferings he has exactly described
mine. But Eve spent so much money in medicine
to no purpose, that I'm tired of being humbugged :
so II you'll just tell me where car find this Nh. John
son, III give him call. Id like to know if he's
real flesh and blood man,
= You don't mean to insnuate that I'd forge tes-
tmonial q replied the man of medicine with some
slight show Of Indignation
{" Oh no. | don't insinuatc anything at all, Doc
tor" answered the pale-lookng man. But I'd like
to see this Mr.. John Johnson, and have little talk
with him.
g You can do that if you'll take the trouble to call
on him, said the Doctor. in an of-hand way
Where can find him 2" asked the man
" lie lives little way out of town; about three
miles on the Frederick turnpike
4" All So far q
Eyes Go out until you come to the three mile
stone then keep to the first road turning off to
the right, along which you will go about quarter
OF mile when you will sec brick house. Mr.. John
son lives there"
The thin sallow faced man bowed and retired. As
he left the store, the Doctor gave low chucke, and
then said, half aloud
q I guess he won't try to find this Mr.. John John
son.
But he was mistaken. Three hours afterwards
the sick man entered the shop, and sinking upon
CHAIR with expression of weariness said in fret
full tone
Well, Doctor, I've been out where you said but
no Mr.. John Johnson lives there"
Mr. Johnson lives at the place to which direc-
ted you,' said the Doctor positively.
But the man shook his head.
You went out the Frederick Road to the three
mile stone e.
q Yes"
And turned off at the first road on the left hand
side ~
You told me the right hand side !" said the man.
"Oh There's the mistake replied the Doctor,
with the air OF man who had discovered very ma
terial error, by which important result was affee
ted, Il told you to turn off to the left.'
g I'm you said the right" persisted the man.
Impossible" returned the doctor, in q most con-
fdent tone of voice How could | have said the
right hand, when l knew it was the left! | know
MIR. Johnson we'll as know my own brother, and
have been at his house hundreds of times''
am almost sure you said the right" persisted
the man.
ooh no! You misunderstood me-" most positive
ly answered the doctor.
{" Well, must only try it again. said the man,
laughingly. But shall have to defer the walk
til tomorrow, for I'm completely worn down"
You'd better try bottle of the REsToRER," said
the Doctor with benevolent smile. " | know that
it will just suit your Mr. Johnson looked worse
than you do when he commenced taking it, and three
bottles made a well man Of him."
And the Doctor held up bottle of the Restorer
with its handsome label tcmptingy before the eyes
of the sick man, adding. as he did so
q 1t is only fifty cents
''rve been hunlbuggcd too often = replied the sus
piciOus patron OF patent medicine vendors. No :;
III see MIR. johnson first
:! Well did You see Mr.. Johnson p asked the Doc
tor, with pleasant smile and confident air, as the
testimonial hunter entered his shop the next day,
about noon.
"No, did not" was replied, a little impatcntly.
':Ah How comes that {! Did you follow the di-
rections gave q
g Yes, to the very letter.
:: Then you must have found Mr.. Johnson"
u But tell you didn't
"Tts very strange! l can't understand it. You
turned off at the first road to the left, after passing
the third milestone p
"Idid."
1.-TWO tall poplars stood at the gate which opened
from the turnpike p
"What gate %
The gate opening into the lane leading to Mr.
JOhnson's house,
u [ didn't turn off at any gate" said the II
kept on as you directed to the first road that led off
from the turnpike. You didn't mention any thing
about gate
81 didn't suppose it necessary" replied the Doc
tor, with show Of Impotence. . a road is q road
whether you enter it by gate OF in any other man
ner. Roads leading to gcnteman's country seats
not usually left open for any sort Of ngrcs8 egress
I don't wonder that you were unable to find Mr.
Johnson
Il wish you'd give me more particular direc-
ton" said the invalid. I'm nearly dead now with
fatigue; I'll try once more to find this man, and if
don't turn him up I'll let the matter drop. don't
believe your medicine will do me much good any
how
I'm sure it will help you,' replied the Doctor
g tell by your very cOuntcnance that tits what
you want. Hundreds, affected you arc, have been
restored to health Better take a bottle"
q ] want TO see this Mr.. Johnson first persisted
the sick man.
Get carriage then. This walking in the hot
sun is too much for you"
= Can't afford to ride in carriages. Have spent all
my money in doctors stufs. Oh dear Well +! You
say this man lives just beyond the three mile stone
at the first road leading off to the left q
{" Yes"
1.-TWO popars stands at the gate %
eyes"
al ought to find that" said the man.
" You find it, if you try, returned the Doctor
The man started off again
Plague on the persevering fellow !" mutered the
man of drugs as soon as the invalid retired. :" L
wish I'd sent him six miles instead of three.n
The day wore on, but the Testimonial Hunter did
not re-appear. Early on the next morning, how
ever, his pale thin face and emaciated brows were
visible in the shop of the quack doctor.
"Ah good morning good morning" cried the
latter, with one of the most assured and pleasant
smiles in the world You found Mr.. Johnson, of
course o.
"Confound you and Mr. Johnson too! Mo-" re-
piled the invalid, impatiently.
The doctor was man of great self control, and, of
course, did not in the least become offended
"Strange! !" said he, seriously. You surely
didn't follow my directions"
Il | surely did. The first gate on the left hand
side. But your two tall poplars was one tall elm,
"There it is again !" and the Doctor, in the full
ness of his surprise, actually let small package that
you poplars, distinctly. The elm tree gate is at
fooot ou,rter IF mile this side But to settle the