The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-05-22
1eporf ~ IxamanatAon for Admission 70
~ the New York Bar.
j HUMOROUS "cArEcHrsE. =


frat principles. Mr. As name being call.
ed, he rose with that happy mixture Of apparent
difidence and conscious merit which was foz.
meriy thought to be peculiar to bashful Irish.
men. So. tssrF-...
The Examiner was evidently pleased with his
appearance, and smiled upon him benignly.
Examiner. Your name is As?
Is. So have been informed, and veri-
" believe. aah'
Er. Do you know it Of your own knowl.
Is Farther than this deponent saith
Er. A discreet young man. The Common
Law says, sit is wise child that knows his own
father And says Justinian, at is still wiser
child that knows his godfather" How many
kinds Of law are there, sir? 1a
Common Law and Lynch law.
EI. Explain and define, sir
Is. Common law is anybody's law, and
Lynch law is nobody's law.-The first because
anybody can plead it, if it only happen that no
body can tell how it came to be law, and the
second because nobody is willing to own it wher
it ia law. 4g@
Er. Sir, you will be an honor to your pofes.
sion. What is a freehold' =
is. The Hon. Mr.. Butler bill for catch.
ing niggers, whereby many really free will un.
doubtedly be held to service. ..a..s-.. g..
EI. Excellent young man. What is base
:. Anything under ", sir. ...4s
Ez. Prompt and proper. How is law divi-
dcd?
Into civil and criminal. ...
Ex. What is civil law? ... .--.
Is. When the sheriff asks you to crack
bottle Of champaign with him the night before
he hangs you. u.a...
E1. What is criminal.
As Criminal law, sir, is the science of
Ez. What kinds of bail are there, sir'
Is Two sir, straw bail, and leg bail.
Er. What are rights and wrongs, sir?
Is. That is as it happens, sir.
En-. How sir. Are they not certain?
Is. Nothing certain, sir, but death and
E1. Profound youth. How are Goods divi-
Is. Into states, as state of anxiety, a
state Of confusion, &c.
EI. Give us an anstance?
Is. An examination, sir, is an instance
Of the first, and a committee meeting Mt Tam
many Hall of the second
Er. How would you define perfect socie-
~, sir? a..
is. Your honor has only to attend a
meeting Of the Franklin, and you will acknowl-
edge definition to be unnecessary and imperti-
nent.
Er. Is that society Monarchy or Demo-
cracy. -.
As. No, sir, it is the Republic of Plato.
Ez. What are its members?
Is Plato's birds. sir. Their want ot
feathers being the only thing which keeps them
on earth Most of them being anxious to gain
the clouds, and indeed sir, in spite of the natu-
raj difficulties they have to encounter, great
many of them are very cloudy indeed.
Er | shall attend its meetings. What is
the best legal commentary
As. Observation-Disclosures published
in two volumes and sometimes in four.
En-. A meritorious distinctinction. Acute
antlawyer like. will suggest case to you
Suppose you had bought horse, which had
been by means of knife or other sharp instru-
ment maliciously and burglarously deprived OF
the hairy continuation of the vertebral articula.
tons Of his spinal column, vulgarly called his
tail What would you do in order to resell him
without committing any fraud on the buyer'
.4-s. The case sir, reported in first Joe
Miller, page 90, covers the whole thing as with
wet blanket Miller says in the old language
Of the time, eye horse being DEPRIVED Of his
tayle, it is evident that he cannot be legally re-
not suffer by We knaverye of We knavishe, he is
fully justified both in sforo conscienti@,' and by
We common law of Englande, and We great char
ter, in disposing ofye animal at wholesale"
En-. You are mine of legal learning. I am
fully satisfied with you, but cannot refuse my
selfthe pleasure of asking you few more ques-
tons. What is an entail, sir '-
Is 1t is commonly supposed, sir to be
the tail Of an N. dissent from that opinion
scendant of whom, sir, you will probably meet
when you visit the Franklin, says nothing on the
subject Barnum's Reports say, entails exist by
reason Of their length. The Boar Constructor
Is the best instance, as there is end to his tail
Ell. What do you say as to practice, sir?
Is. Oh, crackey! Don't wish may
get it!
Ez. Sir, your answer has all the beauty of
TRUTH and all the force of philosophy. But, sill i,
suppose you did get it. Suppose you had eli
emit? How would you go to work?
Is. BY short division, sir 3.
En-. How! you astonish me.
Is. Not at all, sir. would take the
quotient, and leave him the remainder. AS thus,
sir, Shocks vs.. Spriggins, As defendant s
attorney.-A-s into Spriggins fifty, and two
over.
q. How if it were the other waya
Is faint a supposable case, sir.
En-. Why not, sir2
"A !- Because Spriggins into As you
can't and nothing to carry -
Ez. OH well deserving pillar of the law
Tell me, sublime young man, what is equity
IS It is the supplying that wherein the
law is very Observation-Disclosures.
Ez. Where does it reside?
Is Wherever the judge has his wash
ing done.
Ex. How SO, sir.
Is. Because lie is said to carry it in his
breast pocket, next his shirt. The niceness Of
equity there depends very much on the charac-
ter Of his washerwoman
Er. One or two other questions, sir, and
shall release you. What is chose in action?
Il. A shuttlecock between two lawyers,
sir.
En-. What il promisory note'
-. A sixty day dodge.
En-. How many wives can man have
Is. One, sir. Justinian, even in the
climate Of modern Turkey, says expressly, "du-.
9 uxores eodem temporc habere non licet, -
which is a. much a. to say, two are too much
pork for 4 shilling.
FL. Sir, il would be idle to trouble you fur
ther You are perfect, and will dismiss you