The Arkansas banner., 1850-03-12
DolsCS IN \ SCnOOL-aOrSE.


 Under this head. we ind in the New York Spirit of the Times, soude hnmoroos fefniatsevaces by Nix of Gowannas." from which we extract the following spicy paragraphs
 First class of vogabonds. risc." thundered our old sehoolmaster Well, the vsgabands did rise Now answer every question correctly. or I'll break every bone ia yoar bodies " was the next pronuneiamenio of the old autoerst of the red scool- house.
 John Brown. what do You understand by cousticsl''
 "Why astck to drive cows with, suppose" "Get ont, you young scamp! Did not you readiug about the science of sourd2'
 s'Guess not--that was about Sylvester Sound. the somnambulist "
 ..h was, eh? Sarah, you are Johns younger sister,"
 "Yeth, mir"
 What is aeccustics2'
 "l know, thir --it it, it itil the art of making noith and nearing neith
 "You are right Explain lt"
 "Yeth, thir. If you lick your finger in your mouth aud then pull it out thuddenly, the cold air rushes into the vacuum, and produeeth thouad that strikes upon the tvmpan of the ear, which Inaketh the thound audible, aRd Is dcnomnated the tlience of a couthtixih.
 ..You are quite right. Sarah. John, can you now tell me what is meant by the science of aceou stics7 Be careful, sir. or you'll feel my stick"
  mouth, kicks over the tin pan. which sounds awful. and is called tbe science of a cows kick Weli. John, you do eredi, 10 your tescher.- You may take your books and run home /" Willy Chase, what is the currency of the Uni ted s;atesl''
 Cash and money"
 "What are its denominations"
 ..Copper bogus. and Bungtown cents, pennies, fps, fourpence, hsp'nys, levies, ninepenee, Span ish quarters, pistareens, and shnPasters." That will do''
 clones, what is the standard weight of the United Statesl''
 ..scale weight. and little longer"
 Samuel, how many kingdoms are there u the material Goridi"
 -Four"
 Three-only three.''
 Four, think sir.
 "MeIl, name tle,n-w what are they
 Mineral kingdom. animal kingdom, vegetable kingdom, and kngdom come
 Now. how many kinds of moi,oa are there " "Four."
 "No, only two-voIuntary and involuntary. Simon says there four
 .'A hat does Simon say they are!
 "Point. point up, point down, and wig wag "You rascal. I've mind to wig -wag your ckei' Hadut you better describe the motion ei my stick |" can sir
 And its eifect?'
 .Yes, sir Up stroke. and down stroke the up stroke regular and easy-tne down stroke sPasno- ideally eirctrlyiug, and iIs effects strringiy nde- serbable."
 "You understand that sec
 "George Smith, do You fecolect the story oi David aud Goliuh1"
 "Yes. sir-David was a tavern keeper, and Go liali su incorporate man"
 Who told you thatl'
 Nobody. 1 read it, and II is said that David fixed sling for Goliaii, anu Coliah got slowed with it."
 "Wssrr:t CoIiah giaut, strong man'' '' Yes he was giaHt but he had weak head. How so7'
 "hhy to get so easily slowed :"
 lies, George, that was undoubtedly owing to the strength of the sing. Wasn't David ndsl' ciani'
 ..Yss. sir--he played psalms the harp, la vorts instrument with the Jews, and al the presea day it is called ,ewstarp. have one ln my pocket-here il IS. Place il in your mouth thus breathe the tongue gently, then strike with your fingers this wsy-and the psalms, in haruhhlOus corncob, fructify on the natnrai as thunder. That is suIhcient-vOu can pocket your harp. Jane, what is timer
 Something that iies any how"
 " How do you make that outf
 Why, ,emPus lugit'
 " nat Ihatf'
 l.atin--it means tha, time flies; and how can time. |: il flies, be anything else than something that tiiesf
 .. Excellent. What is inc meaning Q! Fegaiesca. iu pacel'
 ., Rest quiet--eat in peace.
 Well, Jane. at I.stia you are perfectly auiait, which, translated, meaas perfectly awful; it Is d great phrase. trom the classes, aud applicable in this class particularly. Now take off yOar jackets, and l will give you reward of merit Those who get than they merit, eau keep the over plus as s token of sPeeisl affection for the'n and those who get less, have uie u'stske rtcti- he'd by mentioning Il 10 ms.