The Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn. Territory) 1849-1855, 1850-06-27
A Dessert for Washing Day.

it, and among them we select this:
"If you will throw away that cigar, -
said friend of ours to a man who was
putting villanous long nine in the
bar-room of hotel in q western village,
"l'N give you quarter of a dollar.
"Well, I'll do it," said the smoker.
He threw away his cigar, took his
quarter, and then stepping up to the
bar, said Here give me brandy
toddy and four more o. them cigars,''
When he had lighted one, our friend
"departed straig ghtway from that house. -
And this:
"Can't you take off my baird here'"
said grave, tall. slab-sided Yankee to
an Albany barber, feeling at the same
time his chin with noise like Crater;
"n's light baird: what d you tax ;
Three cents for a Hghi baird, amt it :"
"Yes." WAL, go ahead then. -
While the barber was reaping "three
cents worth" from his chin, his "sitter"
saw an assistant putting cologne on a
customers hair through quill in the
cork ofa bottle. ''Look o. here, square "
said the Yankee, "cant you squirt
some O. that pepper-saase onto my head
tew! Can't you throw little % that in
for the three cents:"
"Boy," asked traveller Of a lad in
an inn on the Mississippi, "what's the
matter with that sick man in the next
room:" Hes got a majestic chill,
| sir. Great country on the banks Of
these rivers!" responded the interro-
CATER.
81 want to get some alum, said a
friend to Bowery druggist the other
day, to allay canker in my mouth
Please dissolve it in water. The man
mixed something in tulnbler that look
ed more like fine wool than alum water.
Is this alum:" asked our friend -
"Alum ?--no thought you asked for
elinn; that's slippery ellum!" A bright
druggist that !
Powers GREEK SLAvE.-"It CHANGED
some time since" writes friend, "dur-
ing an exhibition Of Powers Greek
Slave, that a particularly ungainly and
and verdant specimen of Yankee, who
longed 10 have some definite basis
whereon TO build his ideas of sculpture,
reluctantly paid his quarter and guilt
ly debouched INTO the sanctuary of high
art. At the outset, the mysterious twi-
light about the room, in strong contrast
to the roar and hustle of Broadway,
from which he had just emerged, half
bewildered, completed his confusion,
and after nervousiy. crushing his wool
hat into the compass of an egg. and
vainly endeavoring to thrust both his
huge hands into the same pocket, the
brilliant Slave, in all her virgin purity
and wOndrous beauty, burst upon his
horror-stricken gaze. His first impulse
seemed to be, to fairly turn tail' and
run but his quarter was gone, and his
native prudence getting the better of
his impulse he was evidently determined
to have his moneys worth so after
gazing with outstretched neck and onion
eyed, open-mouthed wonder at the slow
ly revolving statue for some time, he
cautiously approached until be stood
among the circle Of vistcrs here he
came to a stand, and after drinking in
the figure from head to foot, his eye
rested upon the inscription on the pedes-
tai, Powers sculpSit, and he broke out
into soliloquy, as follows: 'PE-owEEs
SOUP ii : does he Wall, | should
raathtr 'spect he did He's sculped
that crltter strong enough any ho,o. pears
to me he's gone and scuIped every
darned thing off from her | had a
kind o an idea O gittin' sculped myself,
but I'm afraid should be done up raa-
ther brown with such powerful scuIp
as that 'ere! Pom the hull, guess
won't!' And he left the presence
greatly dubitating."
We have seen and read of some cool
things in our day, but the following,
which we derive fiom an esteemed and
always entertaining correspondent, is
positively iced" A young Lawyer got
his first note for collection. 1t was a.
gainst country customer, so he sat
down an1 wrote a letter in due form,
advising him that his note was left for
collection, that it chad run a long time, :"
| dilO tD save
costs. In about ten days he received this
answer:
VALLEY Forks, Nov. Is, 1S49.
j. F. H., Esq, Dear Sir:-I received
your polite note Of the 9Th instant, this
day 1t was directed to the Post Office
at Freetown. The mail comes from
your village to Tompkinsville every day
by the stage, which runs from your
place to Owego, leaving your village at
six o'clock in the afternoon From
Tompkinsville there is mail every
other day to Freetown, and also to Val
ley Forks. From thence there is a
cross mail around the hills through the
lower towns in the county to our place
once a week, but the postmaster on that
route can't read very well, and some
times keeps a letter over one mail to
spell out the direction. By directing
your letters to this office, where get
my papers, ! should get them generally
in about three days after you mail them,
and about a week or ten days sooner
than if' directed IN Ereetown which do