Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1850-01-04
KNIs ME Ii1Asi.U A. = II I
THE COUNTRY CENT? FMAN.


Whatever may thought ofths which the fol-
wing story is told all stated possessing
the beast Importance, nevertheless strictly true.
a single country gentleman, Eve are all gen.
tlemen in this country, except those who are on
ly Judges, Generals, Colonies, Majors, CaI tains,
&c, &e..) with very small fortune, and not up
to trap, lately took into his head, torsooth that he
must live In the village of Southport. He accord
ingly took quarters in a respectable boarding
! house in the n.rth ward of that village.
In June last, his name was entered by the
town assessor on the assC ssment roll as the own
or Of $500 in personal property: this seemed
right enough-hc acknowledged the corn, and
was willing to pay his just proportion Of the pub
, lie taxes.
He liked his new residence much-concudcd
to spend the remainder of his days here-bought
bock-commenccdp loughing it-procurcd the
boards and posts to fence ii. and had projected
many other Improvements, (s1mo OF them per-
haps, castles in the air,) when 10! "a change
came DER the spirit of his dream November ar
hrived, and with it commenced tie reign of tia
intocrable race called tax collectors 0here are.
however, only sX it seems. in all the village D
one of these met our country friend about six
weeks ago and informed him that he must pay a
school tax of $33,66 on his $500 of personal
property. That he was somewhat asionished
and veXcd at the large amount OF the tax, will
easily bc believed. He was so, and marched
away, muttcring, 1t must he great satisfaction
TO those who possess no tiocks or herds except
flocks of children, to know that other people will
have to be at the expense ofcducating them, and
wishing that poor folks were blessed with more
property and u good many less children but
such muttering and wishes, leading to no practi-
cal result, soon came to an end. Not so his al-
flictions, however; for a week or two thereafter
ne was met by another Of he race, with an oml"
nous-lOoking roll under his arm, who told him
that he also had a town, county ana state tax
against him Of 1882 on the $500 Our friend
now lost what little patience he had remaining
and it is said swore a little (but that is probably
only slandcr,) After he became cooler. he began
to reflect, that as there were several other cOeC-
tors in the village, who had not yet dunned him
and who ght each have heavy demands against
him for corporation taxes. harb0r taxes and per
haps highway taxes, he began to fear that tho
$500 would not be sufficient 10 pay the year
taxes theron, and became alarmed lest he might
be taken to Jail, because he could not pay the
balance but he was relieved from these apprc-
tensions by friendly lawyer, who informed him
that the $500, being in personal property, was
not liable 10 be taxed for corporation and harbor
purposes, but had it been in real estate in the vii
would have been Sl9.Gl,
lie was now much gratiticd to find he would
have some part Of the $500 left, after paying the
taxes thcreon-as the following copy of Il state
m2nt, which he made, will show -
School tax. S33.s6
Town, county and state tax, 1892
Tax . which am bound to pay, S52,7o
Tax J would have been IiabIe TO pay
in addition, bad the $500 been in real
estate IN the village of Southport, in
stead OF personal properly, $l9,GI
Amt taxes on $500 in real estate for
one year, - 80
After making and reviewing the statement, it
is said he uttered the following solloquy:
We'll, | deserve i'll had many hints about
Southport taxes, before ! came here. have
acted somewhat like the pic, who would not be-
licvc his brothers and sisters had scalded Their
noses by plunging them into boiling swil, until
he had tried it himself.
Now, as believe the people here can eaaily
spare me, except perhaps during the annual tax
harvest. | will try to paw the S52.78, and then
be off, before they can get me into the tax trap
again, for although think am slippery enough
to slip ont of Southport, In not EEL enough to
8 like to be skinned"
My block may 90 to Tophet, or stay hero
which some wicked people say is much the same
thing can't sell it, and don't like TO chca any
one of my friends by giving it to him.
'Ah, have it. | will try to bargain with the
corporation to take it for the next year $ taxes on
it, provided shall not be required to pay any
balance if the taxes arc more than the value OF
the block
Having arranged these matters. Gin his mind
he commenced preparing to remove to some 9th
or pacc. p. d. H.