Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1850-05-27
The Rifle Shot.
.----.- =
A MADMAN's CONFESSION.

A MADMAN'S CONFESSION.
| lis midnight. The stealthy step Of th
restless maniac is no longer heard in, tn
long, cheerless corridors; the rawlings Of tn
|incurable cannot penetrate the deep wall
of the cells in which their despair is ifhmur
ed; even the guardians of the establish
Iment are asleep. Without, what silence
The branch Of the imm emorial tree hangI
pendulous and motionless; the last railway
train with its monster eyes of light, ha.
Numbered by. The neighboring city seem.
Hike, one grand smausoleum, over which ths
lsileat stass are keeping watch and ewafd
and weeping sffyef dew Ike angel aeafs
tOnly crime and despair are sleepless
/ To my task. They allow me lamp.
They are not afraid that the madman. will
fire his living tomb and perish in the ruins.
Wise men Of science! Cunning readers Of
the human heart-your DEGREES are infalli-
bic. / am mad. But perhaps some dis
eliminating individual, whose eyes shall
rest on these pages, will pronounce differ
ent sentence. Perhaps be may know how
to distinguish crime from madness.
A vision Of my youth comes over me-a
happy boyhood--a tree embowered home
l-babbling brooks-fertile lawns-a ia
ther's blessing mothers kiss that was
both joy and blessings brothers. brave
heart and tender friendship-and first love
that dearest, sweetest, holiest charm of
all. Oh, God! that these things were and
are not 1t is agony to recall them.
Pass to the brief elysian period of we'd
ded love. Julia sleeps in her woodland
grave. l was false to her memory.
If my boyhood was happy, my manhood
was melancholy one. A morbid temper
ament, fostered by indulgence, dropped poi
son even in the cup OF bliss. l loved and
hated with intensity.
To my widowed home came, after the
death Of my wife, my fair cousin Amy, and
my brother, Young Norman. Both were or
Iphans like myself. Amy was glorious
J oung creature my antithesis in every re
spect. She was light hearted; was mel
ancholy. She was beautiful; was ill-fa-
yored; she was young, I past the middle
age Of life, arrived at that period when phi
losophers falsely tell US that the pulse beats
moderately ,and the heart is tranquil. Fools !!
the fierce passions Of the soul belong not to
the period Of youth and early manhood
But let me illustrate my position.
Amy filed my lovely home with mirth
and music. She rose with the lark and
carrolled as wildly and gaily the liyelong
day: till like child tired Of play, she sank
from very exaustion on her pure and peace
sui couch. Norman was her playmate.
In early manhood he retained the buoyant
and classic spirit of his youth. His was
one of those natures which never grow old.
Have you ever noticed one of these aged
men, whose fresh cheeks and bright ardent
sympathy with all that is youthful and an
imated, belle the chronicle.of time? Such
might have been the age of Norman, had
not-but am anticipating.
Between my cold and exhausted nature,
and Amy's warm fresh heart, you might
have supposed that there could have been
no union. Yet she loved me warmly and
well-loved me as a friend and father.
returned her pure and innocent affection
with fierce passion. longed to possess
her. The memory of her I had loved and
lost was but breath on the surface Of a
steel mirror, which heat dispels and oblite-
rates.
| was not long in perceiving the exact
state of her feeling towards me, and with
that knowledge came the instantaneous con-
+viction of her fondness for my brother-so
we'll calculated to inspire young girls
love. I watched them with the keen and
angry eye of jealousy. l followed them in
their walks; I played the caves dropper,
and caught up the words of their innocent
conversation, endeavoring to turn them to
their disadvantage. By degrees I came to
hate Norman; and what equals in intensi-
ty a brothers hate? - 81. .--..z.
In the intensity Of my passion (theni !
was insane indeed) l sought to rival my
brother in all things in which be was fond
of field sports, and master Of all athletic
exercises. He was fond Of bringing home
| the trophies of his manly skill, and display
ing them in the eyes of bis mistress. He
could bring down the hawk from the cloud,
I or arrest the career of the deer in the full
spring. practiced shooting, and failed
miserably. His good nature smiled at my
maladroitness; treasured it up as dead
Ily wrong. While he rode fearlesslY at the
thought Of leap. He danced gracefully
and lightly; my awkward attempts al
waltzing made both Amy and her lover
smile -, 5.zs.s.. ~ .-,...-zz...-... ...
But in mental accomplishments I was SUI
perior to Norman and my capacity as teach
er both to Amy and my brother, | had am
pie opportunity Of displaying the power Of
my mind. ...s la sz4.t u NJ
| Amy was gifted with quick intelligence
Norman was dull scholar. What pleas
ure ! took in humbling him in the eyes o
bis mistress. What asperity and scorn
threw in my pedantic rebukes. Norman
was astonished and wounded at my man
ner. As he was in good degree dependen
ON me, as he owed to me his nature, susie.
nance and training, I took full advantage
of his relative position.-W 18th well feigned
learnestness and sorrow, exaggerated my
Ipecuniary embarrassments, and pointed ou
to him the necessity of providing for him
self, suggesting with tears in my eyes, tina
lhe must adopt some servile trade or call
ling, as his melancholy deficiencies preclu
Idedr the possibility of his success in an.
.lother line. Norman had little care for mon
ley Before the fatal advent Of Amy, hat
|supplied him freely with means Of crafty
ling bis tastes: but when found he expend