Hillsdale Whig standard. (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1846-1851, 1850-12-17
TAKING THE CENSUS.
BY ocEAsUs.


Madam, have called TO take the census ;
'The senses is il; and what like do ye call
tho sameP
Il wish 10 send return 20 Washington of
the number of your family
'Shure, now, IT'S joking ye are. Is il con-
gressmen you would make NV usr
'Oh, no, ITS ouy to find out how many
souls there are in the Union
well, thin, AK me The questions, and ef
they are dacent it's meself as will answer
them
Begin with eldest, and inform me their
names, ages, and occupations
'Eirsl there is Teddy--and fine broth
ov a boy he is--he is iouy-fve years oud,
aud is an elevator aud desclnder be lhrade
"A what, madam | DO not understand.
dts lnglish I'm spskiug; pure milasan
Inglish.'
Il do not apprehend you
'Apprehend me- is it, ye dirty oOn!-Il's
more nor the likes NV ye can CO that same.
For two bays I'd skin ye ss would pralie.
'D0u't get Into passion; you nisconceive
me. ! merely wish to say | do not under
stand your husbands trade
why don't ye spake tngIsh, Ihin!--Ted-
dy carries up bncks for new houses and brings
them down from Ould ones
81 perceive he is a lahnrer.'
'Jst the same, vulgarIy spakiog.
In what county was be bOtuF
'Ballnalee. county LoJgfoiG, in ould lie.
land; aud may the dy bum the spalpeens
that druv US from i,s Crane sod. Ddn'I We
have a nico little mod hut, and
'Never mind. madam, | would willingly
hear your grievances, bat my time is pre-
hava hut .fN ,auufhs In rnmulefe
returns. Now your tame next ii you please.
'Me names Biddy. BE the same token as
| was best be the pIaste the name Nv Bndg-
ct
Now, your agel'
The dvl roast ye, and is ii ladys age
ye, and is il lady's age ye would be afher
akin her To her owu facet
Madam, il is not only my intention 10 in
suit you; but these questions must be asked
and the is a heavy penalty incurred by those
who refuse to answer, which eau be recov-
cred at law
is it the law ye would be aihcr threaten
ing me wild, aud me son Pal oue OF the Po-
lace to. Do ye think its his bssed lnuth
er he'd be saying IN limbo, when it's only
one word he'd have to spske to the mare
to get her QUE
can | to understand, you refuse TO give
your age!'
'Jist that same, and | defy you TO find it
out
1T is not very material, so shall pat you
down at fifty years
'Murther! and lie is II We would be az
thur sending TO the President, when he can
sa that am only forty two, ~ he but TUX the
throube TO Examine the parish register IN
Rnscommnn yhata-f
Thank you, madam, and now we will pro-
ceed with the rest
'Bntye haven't axed all the QUESTIONS about
meself yt.'
Il have your name, age and place of6rth.'
'Tbrue for ye, aud 50 ye have, ye cunning
diyII; and don't ye want TO know me lltadeF
Not at all. have your husbands.
But IT'S mesef that thinks you ought to
put il down. am char, aud Il yeiself or
any uv yer friends have any job in me line,
gong out to days work, OF the like, ye can
Jist spaNe good for a dacent body
Il shall, certainly, always remember you.
Now for The next Oldest
That is Pat, aud he is twenty-lhree, bar
ring few months
Il Thick you said he is a policeman
Yes, sure; but can't you put him down a
public fuukshuuary! ss he calls himself; IL
sounds more iligapt and should the friends
in the ould country iver happen to sa the
book ye are writing, its proud they will be.
who comes nexIP
'The next will be Dennis. lie is twenty
one
What is his occupationF
'Diyil thrade he's got. Isn't he waiting
for his vakancy in some OF the departmental
And he will GIT II too. for has a mighty nnu
ence at the powls. lie runs wild the fire in