Southern shield., 1850-06-29
The Sentimental Loafer.

The Sentimental Loafer.
 We were once exceedingly amused at the air and manner of a decided 'loafer,' a sentimentalst witha, and topper, who lad come out of his way from Buffalo 10 see the Falls.
 'Landlordr said he, to the Boniface of the Cataract, and you, gentlemen, who stand on this porch, witnessing this ptiless rain you see before you one who has tempest of sorrows a-beating upon his head contin- ually. IVanst l was Wo'th twenty thous. and dollars, and l driv the saddling profes. sion. Circumstances alters cases; now wish for to solicit charity. Some of you seem benevolent, and do believe 1 am not destined to rank myself among those who could travel from Dan to Beersheba, and say all is barren. No, l have read Wol- ney's Ruins, Marshall's Life of Washington, and Pope's Easy on Man, and most of the literature of the day, as contained in the small newspapers. But the way Pm situa- ted at present, is scandalous. The fact is, my heart is broke, and Pm just Ishmaeliz- ing about the globe, with sombre brow, and bosom laden with wo. Who will ease my grief, and drive my cares awayP as Isaac Watts says, in one of his devotion al poems.
 No answer was returned. A general laugh arose. The pride of the mendicani was excited: rage got the better of his hu, mility; and shaking his fist in the face of the by-standers, he roared out:
 You're all pack of poor, or'nary com mon people. You insult honest poverty but do not 'hang my head for a that as Burns says. will chastise any man here for two three-cent drinks of Monagohalt whiskey; yes, though I have but lately es capped shipwreck, coming from Michigan 10 Buffalo, and am weak from loss ofstrength yet 1 will whip the best of you. Let any on ye come over to the Black Rock Railroad Deepot, and I'll lick him like c d-nn
 'Never mind that said one; tell us abou the shipwreck.'
 'Ah!' he continued, that aoas scene Twenty miles out at sea, on the lake; the storm bustin' upon the deck; the waves like mad tailors, making brooches over i continually; the lightnings bustin' over head, and hissing in the water; the clouds meeting the earth; the land just over the lee bow; every mast in splnters; every sai in rags; women a screechin'; farmers wive: emigratin' to the west calling for their hus bands; and he'll yawnin, all around! A gooc many was dreadfully seasick; and one man after casting forth every thing beside, with a violent retch, threw up his boots. Oh gentlemen it was awful At length came the last and destructive pillow. It struck the ship on the left side, in the neighborhooc of the poop, and all at wanst 1 felt some thing under us breakin' away. The vesse was parting One halfthe crew was drown eG; passengers was praying, and commend ing themselves to heaven. alone escaped the watery doom.'
 And how did you manage to redeem yourself from destruction!' was the genera inquiry.
 'Why, gentlemen, the fact is, I seen how things was a-goin,' and took my Hat and loent oShorer
 The last saw of this Munchausen, was as our coach wheeled away. He had achieved drink and was preambulating through the mud, ightened, momentarily. of hls sorrows.-Albaay Dutchman. +
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 A New Proof of How, sad Judge in Missouri 10 witness on the stand, "Ilow do you know the plaintiff was intoxicated on the evening referred to?'
 "Because saw him few minutes afte, the muss trying to pull off his trowsers with a boot jack"
 Verdict for defendant See Blackstone page 37, Gin and Sugar
 The following exhibit of the number o yards in mile, in different countries, vii prove useful no doubt 10 some of our read CTS. Mile in England or America, l76' yards; Russia, HOO; Italy, l467; Scotland 24O0; Ireland, 24O0; Poland, 44OO; Spain 5O2S; Germany, 5S57; Sweden, 72S3; Den mark, 72o3; Hungary, $500. 1wo Sorts Of Blessings is a grea oleSsing to possess what one wishes," sai some one to an ancient philosopher, wh lePhed-"lt is greater blessing not to de sire what one does not possess.'