Fremont weekly freeman. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1850-1853, 1850-11-16
The humors OF a KcntucIky Judge.

The humOCs of a kentucky Judgc.
Storytelling is charm of all times and ev-
cry where, most particularly during tedious
journey by steamboat The following was
caught afoat:
| Louisville, KY, boasts of one of the most
learned and on of the wisest of judges to be
found upon the bench in the country. His
judicial lore brilliantly illnmines the decisions
at law in that State, which will be precedents
for all coming time. AT home he is the shrewd
sound, dignifed lawyer, every whit the judge,
nothing more nor less. AT heart he is some
thing more. Sam Slick is not alone in his
calling, for if one Judge Longstreets would
but write a book, the world would laugh and
the Canadian would be eclipsed.
"On our way ia Charleston" says the re-
lator of this veracious story, Judge Long
streets, after long silence, says to me-'Brown
although good friends as we are, let us travel
as strangers together until we return home"
This seemed strange expression coming from
SO intimate an acquaintance, aud | knew not
what to make of it. The Judge was either
crazy or bent upon aspree l had no choice
but to assent to the strange proposition, and
from that moment the mantle OF the Judge
was left behind, and he who was wont to hll it
and lend grace and dignity to the same, such
as commended the reverence of all men, was
the rawest and most uncouth Kentuckian ex-
tant. Innumerable were the jokes and tricks
upon Travellers that kept me in constant
roar of laughter, until we returned home.
| He shufled his long gawky form into the
ladies' parlor at the crack hotel where we
stopped; he then drew the damask-covered
chair up to the polished fender, upon which
he placed his feet, and deposited his quid up
on the hearth The ladies began to spread
Don't move, ladies don't trouble your
selves; rs only just in from Old Kentuck.'
With hat, coat, and mittens on, he leisurely
surveyed the premises 10 the very figures in
the carpet, commenting to himself upon each
article-'Wall, that's sum pumpkinsP Brave,
aint it % Corn, cowcumbers and all, by pep
percorns!' "A right smart place they've got
down 'ere!' what may be the price of corn,
mum, where they tread such mighty fine things
under feet?' This abrupt question, added
to the uncouth appearance finally put the fair
ones to flight.
The landlord soon made his appearance,
and politely informed his customer that he
had made mistake; that he was out of
place in that room. Now you don't though
stranger; you can't come that old hoss! Amt
this 'ere a tavern?' Upon being made to un-
derstand his place, he consented to sit by the
Office fire. Your name, sir-please register
your name,' says the clerk, pointing to the
book. No. you can't come that 'ere on this
child, no how, for more reasons than one,
tell you, STREE. l promised the old man
never would ride any body's paper; the old
coon did all that himself, bust up, and left the
young 'uns to go foot. l can't write, that's
anoth reason. haint got no name, and that's
tother reason
Atsupper our greenhorn jaunts down near
the head of the table among the ladies, where
it was thought safest by the servants to leave
him. TIA au caffa? % inquiries the French
waiter. Yes, sir TIA au caffa?' Again
the question is put Yes, SIR The puzzled
fellow brings cup of each, which is deliber-
ately placed upon each side of the plate. Beef
steak, ham, eggs, and everything else passed
by the walters were piled upon his plate. This
operation attracted the attention of those near
him at the table. One proudish old maiden
twisted her faded vissage into something like
sneer, while she fixed her panther eyes upon
the overloaded plate of the apparently green
Kentuck. wait minute, num- and mixing
the incongruous mass of edibles together, he
passed it over to the owner of the eyes that
were supposed to covet the same First a
litter, and finally broad ha! ha rolled down
the company, and the vanquished vestal left
the table. N. o. Picayune.