Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1850-04-19
Couldn't Cure Him.

r Couldn't Cure Him.
Eel tea, and all other cures for drunkenness that
human science devised, were tried in vain
Phiander Nichols, the Last maker. Mrs. Nichols
has used some desperate remedies, such sleeping
large quantities Of alap, aloes, pecac, &C., in Phi
landers grOg but he continued to drink with undi-
minished relish, and the consequences of this dosing
system were troublesome to Mrs. Nichols her.
self than they were to Phlander, her husband. Be-
ing dead drunk every afternoon, within half hour
after he began his days olifcation $50 rapidly did
he pour down the liquor he felt the slightest
inconvenience unpleasant sensation account of
the medicines he had swallowed At last Mrs.
Nichols bethought herself of another plan for
king reformed drunkard of her lord. She engaged
a watchman for stipulated reward, to carry Phi
lander to the watch house, while he was yet in
state of nsensibility, and brighten him little when
he recovered. In consequence of this arrangement,
Philander walked up about eleven o'clock at night,
and found himself lying on pine bench in dim
and strange apartment Raising himself on one ell
bow, he looked around until his eyes rested
seated by stove and smoking a segar. go.
Where am o. said Philander.
In the medical college," answered the segar smo-
ker.
"What doing there 2"
"Going to be cut up.'
- How comes that o.
"Why, you died yesterday, while you were drunk,
and we bought your body to make 'natomy.'
"It's lie I'm not dead"
+" No matter we bought your carcase from your
wife who had right to sell you, for it's all the good
she could make of you. you're not dead, that's
not the fault of the doctors; and they'll cut you up
dead or alive
"You will do it, eh 2" asked the old sot
| SAY, to be sure we will now directly" was the
resolute answer.
"We1l, can't you let us have a little something to
drink before you begin q
This last speech satisfied the Waterman that Phi
lander was hopeless case and as his reward was
contingent his successful treatment of the patient
he not little chagrned at the result: So with
no gentle handling he tumbled the irreformable in
ebriate out of the watch house.-PennsylUania
What sort of carriage best becomes rejected
sutton? A bashful man would say carriage"
that takes him fast possible out of the country
But there is room for an honest difference of opinion
We only beg leave to advise against anything des-
perate. Hanging" said the elder Weller, is wu-
gar" and as to drowning, "drown cats and blind
puppies.o Don't ever drown yourseH-in tears. It's
waste of water. The following instructions to
happy swains the victims of misplaced affection,
i strike us favorably. Try 'em:
i "When girl refuses you, assume philosophical
air, and tell her you are glad of it. you only made
the proposal to win two bottles of champagne and
thought you had not spunk enough to talk Of matr-
mony to a termagant. Them's 'um."
MISERY IN New YoRK.-The New York Sun states
that six boys in state of great restitution, were
found huddled together in ice box, on Tuesday
night, 10Th utimo, and were taken to the station
house, where they were comfortably provided for
They stated that their parents were dead, and that
they had no home nor any means of providing food
or shelter The eldest was not more than twelve
years old This is but one out OF the many cases o.
misery and destitution which exists in that great
city, with all its benevolent and charitable insttu
tions.
e AN OLD Cure FOR AGUE.-In the tenth volume o
the Massachusetts Historical Collection is receip
for the cure of Ague sent by Sir K. Digby to Johr
Winthrop, in 1854, it will amuse readers. HI
S says: -
For all sorts agews have of late tryed the fol
j lowing magnetical experiment with infallible sue
cess Pare the patients nayless when the fit is com
y ming on put the parings into little bag of fin
e linen of shrsanet and tye that about live eele'
s neche in q tubbe of water. The eele will dye an
n the patient will reeover.nzs. sa liza 1szs. "a
s SHAVING THE QUEEN Before the restoration
Charles H., no woman allowed toappear upo
the English stage, and the female parts were playe
3 by young men dressed as women On account of th
Punishment of the fair from the boards the mos
ridiculous scenes frequently occurred One day tn
King having entered the Theatre little earlier tina
e he usually did, and being impatient of the delay
raising the curtain, sent of his attendants
learn the cause of the slowness of the players al
= pearing. The manager, knowing that the best e,
y cuse he could give the merry monarch would be
tell him the truth, went to the royal box and said
" Sire, the Queen has not been shared yet Whic
y was literally the TRUTH for the young man who
to play the part of the Queen was then in the han6
of the barber. sdsas sagas ssasea Aaz saa 4sne a
Washington Irving relates that Abdallah, the Fl
E. ther of Aahomet the Prophet Sc beautiful thu
IN q no less than two hundred Arab rnsidenS died of