The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1850-01-29


publishers. through the politeness Of Taylor Maury
at whose well-suppled bookstore they may all be
found
FOR the Union
MIR. Noodle.
"Who was the head Of your family r.
Nobody Tom was born before mother was married.
bin..1snt Tabitha. Gswsaioxp.
found an Ss'f ns Ba 3 %SBs They
Mrs Trolope. Strictly speaking. there was but one
genuine Moods, but the progeny q an olS maid aunt
of perspiraton around stone pitcher Of iced water in
summers day. and SO the NOODLE family was large
one, and therefore respectable, one And as they
pronounced their words with the omission OF an
where an should not have been omitted, and
with the addition OF an where an should not have
been added and as they drove their fed their ogs
and made their ems lay multitude OF heggs about the
time OF New Years. they took their station with the as
tocracy Of wealth, and carried all their points by the ON
Impotence of numbers: Oh happy Nood!es-oh blessed
didn't you! and you are dead now. amt you chat s, all
but ToM) and those who won't weep for you can't cry
except in the dry way Well Rome as and SO ,ssrs the
marks Of greatness behind her, and did the NOODLES
IN fact Rome was some, and the NOODLES Were more
Verify there was family Of Noodles, and Thomas Noodle
was the last OF the litter Such character thus fortified
by the past and sustained by the general consent OF the
present. could not be hid in buried in ash
heap Boys, get us taow candle, and we will light
him 10 Immortality by the back stairs.
The lust OF oftice-which was not prohibited by the
Mosaic dspensaon, for the very good reason that men
held Offices BY birth under the Jewish nwwas the pre-
vang sin Of the Noodle family; and is said that the
term Nepotism made for the purpose OF stgmazing
the family failing by celebrated professor OF modern
days, who tried TO obtain messengers berth under one
of the powerful Noodles and was set aside for poor re-
laion OF the man in power.
The Noodles had an overweening vanity, and the
whole was covered by the brass OF the devil No one
n nj nj hnaA tlrurn
pie, and no one could get place while any Of their
Der were unprovded for, They knew all Languages,
all sorts of business, all customs, and all people
They early and went to bed late the world was
their lesson and when they bad studied il they were its
masters. Was Queen OF May wanted l-there was
Miss Chenbna Noodle dressed in character ready to
Tom her part Wasa clerk wanted !--young Tom Noodle
was the very boy for it. Was bureau vacant Jeremiah
Noodle was preeminenty qualified TO discharge the re-
sPonsibe duties Of the office. Was Chaplain wanted =
studies and caledespecally to the work. And if a
scavengers place was vacant. Dick Noodle, who had
been educated among the common seDers. could make
tillery; and Dick slid into the place easy Dr.
Stop did into Obadiah's pantaloons, in the SEQUEL
to Tristram Shandy Thus the Noodles successful
abor so Sai seeams Sfasfs
spread worldwide: Large families. in Particular were
delighted with it was food and rament and balance
spread over Arabia. did Noodlesm spread over our
western hemisphere, until it reached
From where Cape Gods white breakers rolled
To California chunks OF gold
Andnow (oh Chrisopher has seized upon everybody,
and everybody has seized upon it, 1t has also, like all
new doctrines. enlarged PLATFORM and is extended
90 a. to embrace neghborhoods, and States II s
hs dsss q me Do
ONCE You must come from particular State, before
you can get the aid Of some Your talents, efforts,
p, are they ssas man an who
log down the Musknguml Can you write. read,
speak, cast up accounts better than any around
your What Of all those things. il you did not
q sap troughi Do you speak Spanish and French and
desire to obtain employment where those languages are
requisite Poh yoa should talk Indian, and give the
warwhoopdrnk whiskey for cream in your coffee. and
eat dIydr for biles in the spring OF the year-and then
you nigh! be permitted to become passable candidate
The Noodle family are famous for their love Of foreign
things and foreign relations they delight in physics and
metaphysics Their imaginatons revs in nondescripts.
such as the animal supposed 10 have been caught by Col
Fremont m the newspaper, and in popular lectures upon
the mysteries Of creation, and the gravtaton Of moon
light. They :tesak 10 PARALLELS and hive in enigmas
civil Offices. and believe in no other church than the
church militant There is fine benevolent vein running
through them athey give what they have no, got and
Noodle is rare lame black man, or monkey with
the phthisc. Obi il 10 glorious old family; and, while
i oyerows with good feelings. il has muttude Of great
All the Noodles 1--we know them; they are all patri.
OTIS; they want nothing but their rights they native
born citizens. and know their privileges they only take
the vacancies TO keep everything from going stern fore
most to the devil II is after ALL but an extreme love
for their country and her institutions that makes them
hold on-nothng else. And when new administration
comes the Noodles turn like flap jack, and are
with the powers that be, and always have been They
come in too, and keep in too; and he who touches
OF them had better pull viper from bundle Of poison
Gus snakes without mittens feel for woodpeckers'
ab
prepare for immediate maryrdom He will be called up
on by breakfast time 10 hug the stake instead OF boiling
the steak and his tombstone might well be spoken
for in advance, with this inscription letters deep and
wide, and 40 long arm: Here lies p. d., who
died Of a NOODLE, in the I'd year of the
"HEROIC AGE"