The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1850-06-19
B ON N H n 8.
BY PETER PIPKINS.

BY PETER PIPKINS.
"My DEAR said my wife to me one evening
while We were discussing things in general, anc
our own affairs in particular, 81 am going to make
request of you which hope will be granted
without any objection being ralsed'
"Speak it out, Lucy" said |, 'and if it is as
reasonable as your requests generally are, I shall
certainly graft it..
at is altogether reasonable" continued my
wife, as you will think when tell you it is sim.
ply that you will 60 to Mr.. KS, and look at d
love of bonnet l saw at her opening yesterday
0! it is beautiful. light salmon colored Grape
casing, with the most exquisite bunch Of French
flowers on it, ever And then it is so be.
coming to me Mrs. X. remarked, it looks as
if it was made for me. AS for tie price, it is
only ten dollars. You'll go with me wont your
"Lucy, you are asking something quite out OF
my line of business, and fear will be under
the necessity of declining, for several reasons;
in the first place when | took upon myself the
| joys and cares-the sweets and sours Of married
life, the selection of bonnets did not devolve up.
on me. The clergyman said nothing about it in
the ceremony, and the marriage certificate makes
no mention of it-conscquently it must be bust
ness which belongs to wives exclusively, and as
would not interfere with your affairs, must
beg leave to decline. And, in the next place,
it is dangerous precedent for newly married
man to establish; for if he selects the first bon
net, he will have life employment in selecting
all the head dresses his wife may want Besides,
as the bonnet from your description, appears to
be very pretty color, light salmon (rather fishy
"a sort of green, thought ~ and the price is SO
remarkably reasonable, perhaps you had better
purchase it, and will look at it, and will look
at it when it comes home"
"My dear, | will do no such thing. think
WI irI,f II .1o L
Lucy sottening the tone of her voice, go with
me only this once; you don't know how much
it will please me-won't you -
"Well now, said after rejecting moment,
cit you promise never to make another similar
demand upon my time and conscience, as to 90
to Mrs. Anybody's to look at bonnets, hence
forth and forever, why III 60 this once, just to
please you, and remember you are my debtor
this much, that when | go to Florcnce's next
time, will claim your assistance in selecting
black hat
Lucys silence gave assent, and the next day
at twelve clock found us at Mrs KS selecting
the light salmon -colored bonnet, at ten dollars
can scarcely give you an idea of my feelings
when suddenly ushcred into Mrs. KS splendid
suite of looms, which appeared to me like a for
est of straight trees, each Of which bore fruit in
the form OF bonnets ready to wear; and there was
no lack of women pucking the fruit to crafty
their notions regardless of their husbands or pa
rents pockets.
In vain would l have looked for the light
salmon colored casing, had not been led up to
it by an individual far more interested in it than
l was, and no sooner had we arrived in front of
it than espied an object which possessed grca-
ter interest for me than all the bonnets in the
rooms, for to tell the truth, they looked amaz-
ingly alike to me-that is they were all bonncts,
and though at first glance they gave me inds.
tinct ideas Of rainbows, or the many colored
woods in autumn, still in my eyes they were all
the same. The object alluded to was man-
yes, very little man, and the very sight of BIZ
ped with pantaloons on, sent thrill of gladness
through my heart, for | felt that was not alone
but that one other martyr to the cause of bonnets
had been brought to the shrine for Offering
When got somewhat nearer to my fellow sui
| ferer, what was my surprise to discover in hin
| none other than my old friend little L., who hat
been married some fifteen years, and had attend
| ed "bonnet openings, sem-annually during the
whole period What model Of husband tho
| /. Heaven grant may never be like him.
| While my wife was tying on her bonnet, ant
chatting with her friends, having told her no
to hurry herself on my account stationed my
self near L., and after shaking hands with hin
and bowling to his lady, l stood back to watcl
their motions and take note His wife was
woman Of commanding form, with the step anG
bearing Of queen, and voice like small thun
der-clap.
"James" said she to the little man, switch is
your choice" aaa-
James seemed 10th to make selection, but
upon being urged to choose, modestly pointed
to one of the bonnets, and said in voice which
sounded like strain Of fute-music on moon.
light night, think that blne one is very pretty
"Why James, you fool" Numbered out his
wife, 81 would not wear that bonnet on rainy
Saturday night, in the middle of western prai.
RE. Blue! you blind man, why it's as red as
flannel, or as that horrid ugly waistcot you bot
last week. Doyou think I'm a savage to wear
a red bonnet"
James simply muttered that he thought she
wouldn't like it, and couldn't see the use Of
bringing him there e......:....
His wife then moved to another part Of the
room, and reclined against the wall to see the
end Of the business. Presently the name OF
"James" was called in unnistakable tones, and
the little man hurried to where the sound pro.
4 ceeded from, and there found his wife, who, af.
ter trying all the bonnets in the rooms, HID Sc.
lected one at fourteen dollars. When James
i got within sight, she asked him show he liked
III! He replied, livery well, but limited some.
thing about "the blue (rcd) one, aforemention.
i ed, stnot costing SO much
| "Cost much, rejoined his wife, mand who
cares for cost? Who'd have that old red thino
at six dollars; indeed, if you think am going L
| wear any of your six dollar bonnets, you re
nightly mistaken, that's all. /"
James said nothing in answer, but complain