Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1850-05-22

OlTUATlON.-Ihere must always Oe
first time to everything under the blessed
sun. ] have often thought Of the heartbeat
ings attendant upon the first appearance ot
the actor, the clergyman and the barris,er.
But, compared with the experience which
am abou. to relate, theirs is 'nothipg to
show" sr. tE~
The winter was fifteen, and full Of blue
veins, made a visit to a Country town.
One day the good lady of the house where
sojourned took a notion of visiting her
parents at neighboring village, and invited
me TO go with her to drive. twas excel
len, sleighing, and being pretty good Jehu.
] "put her over The road" in good styl and
time. There was buxom, bouncing lassie
where we s,opped-a relative of the lady
that came with me-who by her invitation
agreed to return with US. | brought the
team up to the door in good shape, waited
upon the ladies into the 'culler," then jump
ed in myself-and standing in the middle
Of the sleigh, gave flourish with the whip.
We were off in twinkIng, a, nearly 24O
speed didn't feel grand
"Why don't you sit down :" exclaimed
the good woman to me, after we had got
we'll under way. Twas the last thing
thought Of Sit down, forsoo,h land
where? though. !. 81 had rather stand,"
replied ], modes,ly. "Bu. you had better
sl,' urged the damsel. looked around
-colored li.,le-and still declined.
heard whispering something abou. being
bashiul, SC. A trif1e more crimson came
over my CONFERENCE.-THE still drove on,
was just getting my natural color again,
and was feeling pretty comfortable when
of sudden, felt the arms of the damsel
encircling my waist, and in momen, was
drawn plump into her lap. "There," ex-
claimed the mischevious witch, "sit here
upon my knees-l won's hurt you.''
Every drop of blood within me, me-
thought, then rushed into my face I would
have given the world to be free-but twas
to no avail-,he maiden had me fast
'That desperate grasp my frame might feel
Through bars of brass and triple steel ~
The veins of my face were now swelled
''almost 10 bursting,''-never did martyr
suffer more intensely. The spirited horse
needed not the sbraid"-but he got i'll
reckon. On, on we few, with "telegraph-
ic" specialize sparks of fire few in show
ers thick and fas. from the shoes of the
''cutler," as we occasionally slid over
piece Of bare ground
"Now do thy utmost, speedy Meg -
Muttered mentally, as gave the scrit,er"
the last Click" and in few moments we
were at our journeys end-and ! was out
OF misery. CYMoN.
P.s. Pm not taken that way-now!
Boston Post.
Nor SO GREEN. = Not long since, a
Dutchman in the northern part of this State
feeling matrimonially inclined, paid his dis
tresses 10 gay young English widow in
the neighborhood in which he resided, and
in due time (the widow looking more at the
Du,chman's sinners than at his beauty, and
thinking him moreover easily managed,)
the twain were made one flesh, and Hans
thought himself the happies, of men. But
the fondest hopes are often bligh,ed, and
so it proved in the present case, for orr
Dutch friend returning to his home from
journey rather unexpectedly one night,
found military gentleman comfortably ly-
ing between his sheets, with his boots, can.
and military coat conveniently at hand.
He said not a word to the gallant, but at
once Intercepted his wife, thus:
"Who put desc poos here, should like
to know, where mine own poots ought to
be :"
"Why you blind old fool, cam, YOU tell
a pair of boots from pair of English can
listers go
"Vell, so far as has travelled, and so far
as has been pair Of English cans,ers,
and spurs on the heels Got dam! Blu.
who put dis hat here ] should like TO
know 20
"Hat we'll, declare, the old iack-an-
apes can't tell new fashioned pan from
ha, ~
"Vell, SO far as | has travelled and so far
as has been-a hat-mu cockade on
Got dam /! But who put dis Goa, here, |
should like to know 20
"Coat: Why that's an old pe.tcoat nv
mother sent me-"
"Vell, so far as has travelled, and so far
as | has been-a petlicoat. nit epauletts on
de shou7ders-Got dam! But who pu,s
dis man here, where mnesf ought to be 20
"Well now that is too provoking TO
take man for my new milk ing maid do
go out o. the room if you've got any de-
cency?"
"Vell so far as has travelled, and 50 far
as has been-a milk-maid NIT pair of
wh:skers and moustache !-dnnder and
bl.zen ter duyvel Got dam !" and he
sloped incontinentIy.
What is though,' 4 fountain from
which flows all good and evil inieniions