Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1850-07-12
Good Anecdotes.

The Editors Table OF the knlcker-
booker for June, contains the following
good things:
I'm Educated Druggist.-'I want TO
get some alnm," said a friend of ours to
Bowery Druggist the other day, "to al
lay canker in my mouth. Please to
dissolve il in water. The man mixed
something in tumbler that looked more
like fine wool than alum water. 'sIs this
alum" asked our friend. "Alum! no; /
thought you asked for eilum; that's slip
pery-ellum!" A bright druggist that.
A Light Beard.--"Can't you take
off my baird here!" said grave, tall,
slab-sided Yankee to an Albany barber,
feeling at the same time his chin with a
noise like crater. sits light baird;
what d'you tax! Three cents for light
baird, amt liz" "Yes." "Waal, go "a
head then" While the barber was rasp-
ing "three cents worth" from his chm,
his "stter" saw an assistant putting CO.
logne upon customers hair, through
quill in the cork of bottle. "Look O.
here, SQUIRE" said the Yankee, "can't
you squirt some of that pepper sarse on
to my head tew! Say, can't you throw
leetle o. that in for the three cents?'
Some clerical worthless have been s'get-
ting up a new edition of the Bible
The phrases allow beautiful upon the
Mountains and ale was man of sor-
rows and acquainted with grief" are
changed into sHow wished for are the
feet that bringeth tidings over the noun
tains," and "He was man of sorrows
and experienced grief" We agree with
the Knickerbocker, that the reverend
tinkers have made sad botch of their
work.
"A Conscientious Respondency.--
"How long will it take me to reach ia
maica?" asked pedestrian on the Jamai-
ca turnpike. "Walk on, walk on" said
the person interrogated. Thinking he
was misunderstood, the traveller repeat
ed the question, when The same answer
was returned. Fancying the man was
crazy, the pedestrian moved on at an ac-
celebrated pace. "Look here" said the
Intercepted party, calling after the trav-
eller, sit'll take you half an hour. /
couldn't tell you, till / saw how you
walked, what 'time' you'd make!' He
lived near the "Union Course" s'most
probably"
Our last quotation must be of the
Yankee and the statue:
"It CHANGED some year SINCE" writes
a friend, s'during an exhibition of Pow
er's Greek Slave that particularly un-
calmly and verdant specimen of Yam
kee, who longed TO have some definite
basis wherein to build his ideas of sculp-
ture, reluctantly paid his quarter and
guilty debouched into the sanctuary of
high art. At the outset, the mysterious
twilight and hushed voices of the figures
moving about the room, in strong con-
trast to the roar and hustle of Broadway,
from which he had lust emerged, half
bewildered, completed his confusion; and
after nervously crushing his wool hat in
to the compass of an egg, and yainly en-
deayoring TO thrust both his huge hands
simultaneously into the same pocket, the
brilliant Slave. in all her virgin purity and
wondrous beauty. burst upon his horror
stricken gaze. HIS first impulse SEEM
ed TO be to fairly turn tail and run, but
his quarter was gone, and his native pru-
dence getting the better of his impulse,
he evidently determined to have his mo-
ney's worth; SO after gazing with out
stretched neck and onion eyed, open
mouthed wonder at the slowly revolving
statue for some time, he cautiously APP
preached, until he stood among the cir
Gle of visitors; here he came to stand,
and after drinking in the figure, from
head TO loot, his eye rested upon the in
scription on the pedestal, Powers sculp-
Sit and he broke out into soliIoquy, as
follows: ''Pe-owers sculps it! does hel
Wall, / should rather 'spect he did -
He's sculp'd that critter strong enough,
anyhow, pears to me; he's gone and
sculp'd every darned thing off from her!
l had kind o. an idee o. Citing sculp'd
myself, but I'm afraid should be done
up RATHER brown with SIGH a powerful
sculp as that ere! Pom the hull, guess
Iwunt!'' And he left the presence great
ly dubiating."