Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1850-09-18
THE DEACON'S VISION; OR "WHERE DO
LAWYERS GO TOw

THE DEACoN's VISION; OR "wHERE DO
LAWYERS GO TO-"
1t was Court time in W, and the
place was crowded 10 its utmost capacity.
The jolly host Of the Black Bear rubbed
his hands and stroked his we'll developed
waistcoat, as room after room in the tavern
was filled. The bar-room was IS usual
we'll stocked with customers, and frequent
were the calls made on ''mine hosts" sup
ply of liquors. A crowd was congrega,ed
in the immediate vicinity of the fire. and
seemed in happy state of mind collective
ly. Jest and repartee were banded from
one to another, and mir,h provoking stories
were told.
The chief talker, however, wss q smart,
dapper lawyer. who had gained case tina,
day, and therefore seemed to consider him
self as "some.hing considerable" He had
Ia smart saying for every one and but few
escaped his jest.
His principal victim, however, was Dea-
con Jones. Many stories he told about
deacons, and inquired if Jones was The dea
con, who, when elected to that high Office,
was so over.joyed that when he arrived at
home, happening to meet his cow, threw his
aims about her neck, exclaiming
ooh, Nanny! you are no comou COW,
now, you're deacon's cow" and many
other questions of like import.
The Deacon stood it pretty well, and
bore the laugh like martyr. At length he
said he had story to tell and demanded
hearing. Silence was obtained through the
exer,ons Of the little lawyer, who was over
joyed a, the though! Of getting story from
the deacon.
'Ye see, Mr.. Lawyer" began Jones, ''last
summer when the cholera was round, |
calched it. 1t went mighty hard with me
tell ye, so that they give up and | give my
family good bye, and made up my mind
to die as only an honest man and Chris
.ian can. hope when your time comes
you can do the same; but l'm afraid
afraid :" and the deacon shook his head
solemnly.
"Well, We see ddn'l zac,ly die, bu, |
came pretty near it. went off in trance"
sin trance 10 exclaimed the lawyer.
eyes, in a trance"
"What were your sensations :"
udb "do JuSt " uob l " 90 Soh'pss W. ]
thought the angel Gabriel came to my bed
side and raised me up, and carried me thro'
The sky, until we stood before the gates Of
Heaven"
"Then thought the angel turned to me
and said, "Mor!al, you are brought here to
see some of the glories OF Heaven, and mise
ries Of He'll; then you will return and Join
your friends on earth, abide there for short
season, and then will return to Heaven, and
par,ake of the happiness Of the elect"
s'Then we entered the gates, and my ears
were saluted with sounds of melody and
praise. Blu, won. at.empt.to describe all
| heard and saw. The angel was very COM
munica,ive, and readily answered all my
questions. Wishing to know about few of
my friends who had gone before me, |
questioned him concerning them. Some he
called to his presence, and at the name Of
some he Significantly shook his head. l
inquired for Squire Grasper. The shake
was repeated. Supposing he misunderstood
me, again inquired. Another shake"
''He was a lawyer" said the angel, "wa'
he not?''
"Yes," said !.
"We have no lawyers hcre," was The re-
ply.
A burst of laughter went up from the
whole company, and the lawyers Themselves
participated therein. The deacon continued:
"We then left Heaven, and passing through
dark cloud, entered the confines Of He'll.
We paused a. the gate and knocked. The
door swung slowly back and we entered.
For a shor, space could see nothing but
confused mass rolling here and there; but
nv eyes soon became accustomed to tho
sight, and perceived spirits darling now
here, now there, and seeming as if trying to-
escape some terrific fate.
"The Prince of Darkness himself did2
honors, and showed US round. Still
ing to see the Squire, inquired for
Satan clspped his finger to his he
in study, and slowly exclaimed
"He is not here ~
"Not here - replied. "Why
be here he is no, in Heaven."
"He was lawyer believe ," 81
"Yes," answered.
"Ah he 10 not here. We had 4
LAWYERS sen. here that what with .heif
their demurrers, their motions, affidavits, H.
dic,men.s, Sc, my preroga.ves wero i'll
danger, SO sha. was obliged, in selfdefence,
10 Danish them from my kingdom"
''Thanking His Highness for his courtesy.
we left. ] returned to earth and conscious
ness, and ever since then have been ponder
ing on the question of "Where do lawyers
go?"
Peal after peal Of laughter greeted the
conclusion of the Deacon's narrative, and