Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1850-05-13
CUTTING 1T FAT-OR THE PARSON
AND TEE CHEESES.
BY CYMoN OF THE BOSTON POST

BY cYMoN OF THE BOSTON POST.
The reverend hero of the hat story, that did
up for the Post the other day, was riding home
from visit to Newburyport one afternoon-and
being on the road where friend Of his, Mr.. IT,.
lived, staunch old farmer, famous for his fat
cheeses and good living, he gave him call.
In short time. tea was ready, and the doctor
was Of course cordially invited to sit down at the
bountiful board.
81 declare" calculated the divine. 81 must say
that this cheese is the incest ever ate; why. il
nearly melts in ones MOUTH"
''Sartain," returned the dairyman; ssyou must
know, doctor, that my wife lets no one 90 ahead
Of her on cheese she always gets the first premi-
I'm at the cattle show; stamp my initials on all
we make, and they bring cent or two a pound
more than any others in the Market"
Excuse me for helping myself to it 50 bounti-
fully" said the reverend guest SIT is SO very nice
besides. it is quite luxury to ne-such extra
cheese-we don't have such at home, in fact, ia
tell yon plainly, We haven't had any Of anu kind
lately.
This brought out the good dairywoman.
Husband" said she, "had'n we better give
the doctor one of our cheeses ?'
..Sartain'- replied the farmer--the best you've
got in the house,
Som as the doctor was ready to start, the gen
erous woman selected a nice fat cheese from her
store room-ft for a kings table--rolled 1t up
in spick-span clean napkin, and handed it to
their hired man to put it in the parsons sleigh.
..l'll take care Of ii, myself" said our doctor of
theology, taking the rich dish from the man, and
after thanking the good people kindly for their
nice present, he babe them good night, and started
with his prize for his horse and sleigh, which was
standing by the front gate.
After slowing away his cheese he unhitched
tt,oa md ID M -. l.
had scarcely got seated, and the reins adjusted
when the horse, feeling impatient to be off, gave
a sudden side jerk towards the road, capsizing the
sleigh, spling ont the parson, and after him three
cheeses which he had got at different places that
day, besides the one just given him. which verged
off in different directions like rays Of rich orange
light, leaving the DOCTOR in the centre of the hal
for nucleus
All this came off before the good audience
the scene was not lost A picket guard of chill
dren stood at the gate-the farmer and his wife
were posted at the 'front.' door, and the man seryan,
and the maid servant stood at the window.
As soon as the Doctors rich cargo was revealed
to the astonished eyes of our good daryman. he
sprung forward and seized, with his huge paw
the cheese marked SIS. t." clapped it under his
arm-then turning 10 the doctor with satrical
smile said doctor, when you are out of he sc
just come this way and YOU shall have this" The
paIson was never knewn to call for il, we believe
DIDN'T WANT TO QuARREL,-There is noted
mai! contractor in Rumsey, N. H., who can tell
as big story as most Of them, and who possesses
one Of the most accommodating dispositions in the
world.
Il was passing through New Jersey,'' said he
"a few years since, and there came by us in the
air. flock Of crows nine miles long, and SO thick
was the flock, you couldn't see the sun for ,em.'
The contractor told this in tavern, where sew
eral persons were standing about, and one of them
"a coarse limbed, heavy featured son Of the Gran
lite State-ventured to query the correctness o
the assertion.
.'How long did you say, nabur 2"
s'Nine miles, sir"
"Don't believe it," was the reply.
"Wal, look 'ere-you," said tire contractor
''you're stranger, and don't want Ter quarre
with yer. So, to please you, IN take off quartz
Of mile from the thinnest part!"
The stranger was perfectly satisfied.