The Ottawa free trader., 1849-08-31
How to Obtain SubsCri hers.
Written for the Spirits of the Times,
by the " young I'm"


mencement Of our career "out
thar" we employed local travel
ing agent one John D., fell o W
Of infinite tact for business, and Or
dinarily one of the merriest, happi-
est, best natured bipeds we ever yet
met with. John had way Of oh
tanning subscribers, however, pecu-
liarly his own: and his success was
proverbial. If he undertook to get
a mans name and subscription mon
ey, he got there was no dodging
the issue, where he had resolved up
on the thing.
John was large powerful man,
standing six feet three in his sacks
and he feared nothing in the perform
ance of his duty at times when a
resort to the tricks Of his trade was
necessary, he was sat home,' and
his mimicry, smiling countenance,
and capital address made him scores
of friends, almost at sight. But John
occasionally encountered tough
customer.
"You call that paper ?" exclaim =
ed a rough, big fsted fellow, deris
lively one morning in coffee-house
where John was canvassing.
"Well | do" said John quietly.
go, git out" responded the bully
And you must subscribe, too
come"
"Not as you knows on" contin-
ned the other, sneeringly. "lt's a
humbug!"
WHAT'S humbug ?"
"That paper o yourn."
"Come, now, my fine fellow, that
won't do," added our agent, not a
little piqued. He always stood
straight up for the paper. "That
kind o. talk amt just the thing, my
friend" continued John, for there
were several persons present.
81 say it's lnm'ug,' presistod d
the fellow, " an you are another"
As the stranger got off this last
remark, he appr achrd the canvass
er instantly, and offered some un-
miStakeable demonstrations Of bel
ligercnt character. joan measured
his customer "A moment, as he ad-
vanced, and drawing back, he very
coolly knocked the insoient fellow
down; then grasping the rowdy by
the throat
as my paper humbug?' asked
John.
"Yes-cuss your picturH'
"It is, eh ?" bringing the fellow a
rap on the side of the sconce, which
astonished him immensely. "lt is,
is it?" and again he .cufied lin Wig
orously and then again and again,
until the bully began to believe he
had commenced operations on the
wrong individual.
"Is my paper a hmm ?"
"N-n--nor' - shrieked the
fellow at last.
What kind Of paper is it ?"
"I dun no."
eyes, you Do" said John, raising
his huge mauler over the other:
head, in a threatening attitude, and
grinning 4 ghastly smile" yes yor
do !"
"Well, let me up" said the VIC
tim.
"I'll let you up when you answer
me-"
81 tell I dun no."
81 say you do," responded John
and again he raised that fearful iis
and showed his glistening teeth.
"Y-y-yes." shouted the
sufferer.
What kind of apaper is it, then
Tell me, or l'll smash every bone il
your ugly skin"
"It's a-a-it's D."
"Quick %
cts goo--good--fuss rat
one. Now let me upH'
"Not till you subscribe, old fel
, low"
IW0mi"
"You WON'T" exclaimed John
| looking daggers at the PROSTATE he
ro, while he grated his teeth, like
, mad catamount--and thrashed hin
, violently upon the floor once more.
81 will"
f "For year?" askcn the agent.
emo"
, "What then ?"
"Six-Six months"
| "That'll be two dollars" sal
John, "fork over the tin--therc's n
trust in this trade"
"Let me up, say"
"Not till you've paid your sub
I scription."
, "Wall, git of Ter me ~
: "There," said John-who wa
A naturally very accommodating