Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1849-01-31
The Opinions and RecOlIecti0ns of the
Widow Greene,

The Widow Greene had fit Of the
South Carolina "high-strikes"last Monday,
and was half inclined to get up q meeting
for the dissolution Of the Union.
AS she sat in her arm chair, by a sea-
coal fire with her pettcoats slightly raised,
either to keep them out of the way Of the
Maltese kitten, or for some other purpose,
she threw her spectacles back, rested her
head on her hand, and gave way to philo-
sophical reflection. A strong pinch Of
Mrs. Miller's Scotch snuff, failed 10 with.
draw her from her mental instruction.
As she thus"resigned herself to thought"
our fair and blue-eyed cousin Julia-God
bless the dear creature! how we do love
her! who had been reading the Morning
Gazette, suddenly dropped the paper, and
exclaimed, at the top Of her voice:
"Goodness gracious! Mercy on US! what
a monster! Did you ever! o, dear me,
aun, did you ever hear Of such monster
in all your days?'
s'Dear me, child, dear a me, child"
returned the widow, as she rubbed her eyes
with Que hund, land seized her snuff box with
the other, "what is the matter? Pray tell
me, Julia, what is the matter?' -. -
"Matter? matter enough, can tell syou,.
aunt Only ylisseazaIid W zsaasao ~
"Do so my darling child, and let's know
all about it.''
Whereupon cousin Julia picked up the
offending paper, and read as follows:
"We are credibly informed, and we re-
peat it boldly, that Gen. Zachary Taylor
said to Mrs. Richard ,LumpkiH;widow Of the
late lamented Richard Lumphin, at a BALI
given him at Baton Rouge, that it was his
opinion that no one ought to be murnied-
but once, and that he agreed with Cobb ett,
that she who married twice did but little
better than TO commit adultery"
"What an awful wretch!' exclaimed
cousin Julia, just listen, and I'll read it to
you." ..... ...
"And we are further informed that the
General also said that no young woman
ought TO be married before she was FIVE and
twenty
"Good Lord of merciesI did you ever?'''
"No, Ineyer!" screamed Julia.
Giles an fn6del, and worse than Car
melite,' said the widow, sand if he's Pres.
idenl for the next four years, kinder g-sss
there'll be falling off tn the census for
1850. The mans mad he's fool, and
know it." -a..- ....... ...-.-t -.s
''He's more than fooI-he'sa cannibal.
a barbarian. Feejee Isander,a great ug-
ly Shaking Quaker!" continued the excited
Julia. ... s..... -.
In the meantime the widow wiped her
specs, took up the paper, looked it carefully
over, and while sn lie played upon her
countenance, she handed it to Julia, and
said 10 her:
"There child, read that are paragraph.
There's comfort in it," .. .,.
Julia did as she was bid, and read the
following,
"The foregoing is vile slander. We
have it from the best authority that Gen.
Taylor loves the ladies, all Of them, most
dearly. He is friend of early marriages.
and as those ladies who have lost their
lords. why, God bless you, he would iDi-
ta.e the example of Robin Ronghhead. and
marry all the widows, and father oil tie
orphans!''
.*I stick to the general, after ALL" said
the widow.
$50 do l." said the blushing Julia, "and
if the old General was here, wouldn't kiss
hm-wouldn't smother him with kissesp
N Y, Atlas.