The Daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1845-1850, 1849-04-24

CONFESSIONS OF Miss MARr1NEAr
must ever be carefully remembered that fa.,
ten puts on the appearance Of apathy,-esnar;si
ly in proud child. No creature is SO ioieos.'
reserved as proud and timid child; and nv
cases are few in which the parents know, aa we
thing of the agonies OF its little heart, the snaa!
OF its nerves, the soul sickness OF its days a.,
horror Of its nights. 1t hides its mseres m 'a'
an appearance OF indifference or obstiuacy NJ
its habtual terror impairs its health, or drjyssi,
into temper OF defiance Or reckessness. o."
speak with some certainty of this, from INV ou,
experience. | was as timid child as ever ~
born; yet nobody knew or could know, the sr
tent OF this timidlty; Tor though abundant
open about everything else, | was as secret =,
the grave about this. had dream at ten v..s,
old vi ich troubled me to such an exces, thor
cannot recall it without beating of the hear,
| could not look up at the sky on clear night
Tor felt as if it was only just above the trso
tops, and must crush me. | could not cross tina
yard except at run, from sort OF feeling, with
no real belief, that bear was after me, Tho
horrors of my nights were inexpressible Tbo
main terror, however, was a magic-lantern
which we were treated with once year. and
sometimes twice. We used to talk OF this exhi
bition as prodgious pleasure, ard conrriysd
TO reckon on it as such, but | never saw the
white cloth, with its circle OF yellow ght, win.
out being in cold perspiration IRON head to foot
One OF the pictures on the slides was ALWAYS
suppressed by my father, lest it should brighten
the little ones,-a dragons head vomiting flames
He httle thought that girl otthirteen could be
terrified by this; but when | was thirteen.-od
enough to be put in charge Of some children who
were to see the magic lantern,.--this slide was
exhibited by one OF my brothers among the rest.
had found it hard enough to look and laugh be-.
fore; but now | turned SO faint that could not
stand but by grasping chair But Tor the il.
tensity Of my shame, | should have dropped
Much Of the benefit of the instruction was lost to
me during all the years that had masters: INV
memory tailed me when they knocked at The
door, and | could never ask a question, or get
voice to make a remark. | never could play IN
my music master, or sing with clear voice, but
when was sure nobody could hear me. Under
all this, my health was bad; my behavior was
logged and provoking, and my temper became
tor time insufferable. Its improvement began
from the year when first obtained some Release
from habitual Tear. During the critical years
misled everybody about me by habit Of con.
ceament on this one subject, which l AN sure |
should not now have strength Tor under any in.
ducement whatever. Because | climbed our ap.
pie tree, and ran along top OF high wall, and
took great leaps, and was easily won by benevo.
lent strangers, and because l was never known
to hint or own myself afraid, no one suspected
that fear was at the bottom of the immova5le in.
difference and apparently unieeling obstinacy
by which perplexed and annoyed every
one about me. | make these confessions willing
ly, in the hope that some inexperienced or busy
parent may be awakened by them 10 observe
whether the seeming apathy oil child be really
from Indifference, or the outward working OF
some hidden passion of fear Household EducG.
ton.