The daily national Whig. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1847-1849, 1849-05-19
From Frasier's Magazine.
Letter OF Advice from an Experie need MA
from TO Young Married Lady,
(cosrIspED.)

/ rum hnEuhnie'
Letter OF Advice from an Experienced Ma
tEon TO Young Married Lady,
| teosrYrED)
All this should inspire you with emu,a-
ton. You should consider that no exertion
is too great to enable you to make your SUI
perior judgment available in the service of
your husband, even though he should be SO
stupid as not to perceive the benefit For,
after all, you viii, perhaps, not be able to
succeed completely. Some husbands are
given 70 insist on interfering in the expendi-
ture Of income, the management Of children
and Of servants, and other domestic concerns.
But you must do the best you can, always
remembering that every shilling your hus-
band spends without your leave is downright
robbery, though you may be obliged to sub
nit to it, and that whatever household con-
TT he assumes is an act Of usurpationthe
1ossf kind OF usurpstion, just as many ac-
count suicide the Worsf kind Of murder
for it is rebellion against himself, you be-
ing in your own department his representa-
tive, AMI invested with all his authority
Husbands must be managed according to
their dispositions There is no one kind Of
treatment that will suit all alike. Vow must
try the mode you think most likely to suit
your own husbands character, and il that
does not succeed, try another. But it is
much better if you can hit on the right sys-
tenn at once, than to have to make change.
In particular the imperious mode-the
atraightforw determined assumption Of
authority-which succeeds very well with
some meek-spirted men, and is the only
plan with some COW ardly ones, is very
dangerous course il it does fail A man
whom his wife has attempted to bully, and
without success, is apt to become totally un
manageable by all methods afterwards And
the same may be said Of scolding. 1t sue
ceeds admirably with some men; but when
it does not succeed, it weakens the wife's
influence.
Generally speaking, therefore, ! should
recommend gentle means to begin Nth
and harsher modes to be resorted to after
wards if the former fail Many men are
governed by their affections For though
man is very unfeeling, hard-hearted ami
nal, compared with one Of US, still there are
many of them that have affection enough to
be ruled through the means Of that. And
though they are generally too unfeeling to
shed tears themselves, except on very rare
occasions, il is well worth trying whether a
man may moi be softened by his wife's tears
when he is disposed to be refractory. But
take care not TO wear it out. To be always
crying on very slight occasions, may SO ac-
custom man to the sight that his heart will
become Gas Dickens expresses it) quite aca-
fer-poof.
Perseverance, again, win succeed with
some men when nothing else will. have
known men who could stand coaxing, and
scolding, and weeping, fairly wearied out by
incessant importantly, Just as many people
are bothered into giving to beggar. !
would have you to try the other ways first ,
but, il every thing else fails, il is worth try
4 ing whether man may not be wearied out,
so as to give way merely for the sake Of
hearing no more about it.
1 But in all cases strongly recommend you
never openly to claim power, nor to boast Of
governing your husband, either to him or
TO any one else. You may sometimes, like
the dog in the fable, miss the substance by
catching at the shadow. And, at any rate,
lit has a bad appearance in most peoples
eyes,
Your glory should be, not only to take
care that your husband should do what he
ought, but that he should be compelled to
confess that it is his oDn choice 1t is glo-
rous to represent yourself assubmitting with
angelic meekness to the imperious sway Of
your lord, when in reality you have prevail
ed on him to give way, and to be guided by
your better Judgment to do just what you
think best, When you have prevailed
on him to buy you smart dress, which
| in heart he grudges, or to set up his carriage,
or to change his residence, or to cut an old
acquaintance, or to change his name, or to
frequent parties which he detests, &C., you
should whisper to all your friends, as great
secret, that Mr. would have i SO,
and that, though you said all you could to
persuade him to the contrary, finding him
bent upon it, you felt ityour duty to comply.
And il ever he should protest against your
saving this, do not scruple to contradict him
most vehementy, and to insist on It that you
merely yielded to his wishes; which, after
all, is, as have already explained, quite
true, since in these matters your will is to be
considered as his.
completely guided by his wife. And this
shows the wisdom Of our ancestors in max
ing the husband "endow with all his worldly
sods" the wife he has chosen. The wife
Is dependent on the husband, and clings to
him for support, just as hop-plant climbs
on its pole, and sweet-pea on the sticks
put to support it, and as the vine in Italy
was, according to the language Of the poets,
C married TO the elm.n But if you could
conceive a hop-pole, OF pea-stick, or an
elm, imagining that those plants were put
there on purpose for its adornment, you
would tell them that this was quite mis-
take-that the climbers are cultivated for
their flowers or fruit, and that the stakes or
trees are placed there merely for their sake,
| anl ,nuct nnf claim any suDerIor dignity or