The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1849-05-05
Selections.
How 10 get a good Dinner.

| '''" 'SN'h' uIoBIaphy Oi mat mad Wag p
Theodore Hook, we take following amusing sc.
count Of one OF his practical Jokes:
"Lounglng in one Of the fashionable streets
IN the afternoon, with Terry, the actor the nos.
trlls OF the promenaders were suddenly salu,ed
with concord OF sweet Odors arising from spa.
cious era. They stopped, snuiIed the grateful
incense and peeping down, perceived through
the Kitchen window preparations for handsome
dinner evidently on the point of being served
"'What feast ? said Terry. "Jolly dogs /
should like to make one of Them
"'Pll take any bet,' returned Hook. tbat
d0-call for me here at ten o'clock, and YOU will
find that shall be able to give a tolerable ar.
count of the worthy genteman's champigne and
venlson. So saying, he marched up the stems.
gave an authoritative rap with the knocker, and
was quickly lost to the sight of his asonisbed
companion. AS a matter Of course he was i'm.
medlately ushered by the servent as an expected
guest, into the drawing room, where a largo mar.
" mad already assembled The apartment being
wel'nigh iull, no notice was at first taken of tba
intrusion, and half dozen people were LAUGHING
at his bon notS, before the host discovered tho
mistake Affecting not to observe the visible
embarrassment of the latter, and ingeniousIy
avoiding any opportunity for explanation. Hook
ratified on till he had attracted the greater mar,
OF the company in circle round him and some
considerable time elapsed ere the old gentleman
was able to catch the attention of the agreeable
stranger.
" ! beg your pardon, sir he said contriving
at last to get in word; but your name, sir
did not quite catch it--seryants are so aboroi.
naoly Incorrect and am really little at a
loss
Don't apologize, beg graciously replied
Iheodorei 'Smith,-my name is Smirb-and
as you justly observe, seryantsare always making
some stupid bunder o: another. remember a
remarkable instance, Sc
"'Bnt really, my dear sir continued the hos,
at The termination Of the story illustrative of stu.
Nld'ty IN servants; Il think the mistake on the
present occasion does not originate in the source
YOU aiIude to- certainly did not anticipate the
pleasure OF Mr.. Smiths company at dinner TO.
day
mo dare say not--you said four in your
note, know, and it is now, | see quarter mast
iYe-you are little fast by the wav; but the
fact is, have been detained in the city--as was
abou; to explain when
"'Pray,' exclaimed the other, as soon nc b.
could stay the voIuhility of his guest, .wbor,
may | ask YOU do you suppose you are address.
ing"
"'Whom' Why Mr.. Thompson Of courso-
old friend of my father. have not the pleasure.
indeed, of being personally known to Won bp,
having received your kind invitation Yesterday.
on my arrival from Liverpool, Forth stcet--four
ocIock--tamlIy party-Come in boots.-you see
have taken YOU at your word. am only afraid
! have kept you waiting.
" No. no. not at all. Bnr permit me to OBJ
serve, my dear, sir, my name is not exactly
Thompson, ii is Jones, and
" Jones repeated the sol. disant Smith. in
admirably assumed CONSERVATION; Jones
why surely cannot havc--ycs, mus--goo cd
heaven see il all Ny dear sir, What an un.
fortunate bIunder--wrong housc-what must Won
think Of such an intrusion am really at a loss
for words in which to apoIogse--you will per
init me to retire at present, and to-morrow-'
"'Pray don't think of retiring exclaimed the
hospltable old gentleman, your friends table
must have been cleared long ago, if, as you -av,
tour was the hour named and am only TOO hap
py to be able to offer you seat at mine
Hook, of course, could not hear of such
thlng-could not think Of trespassing upon the
kindness ofa perfect stranger; if too late for
Thompson, there were plenty of chop houses at
hand tn e unfortunate part Of the business was,
he had made an appointment with gentleman
to call at ten o'clock. The good-na Jones.
however, positively refused to allow so enter
tanning visitor to withdraw dinncrless, Mrs.
Jones joined in solicitations, the Misses Jones be-
wchngly, and set at least Mr. Smith, who soon
recovered from his confusion, was prevailed upon
to offer his arm to one Of the ladies', and take his
place at the well furnished board
"'In all probability, the family of Jone, never
passed such an evening before. Hook naturally
'Xeried himself to the utmost 10 keep the party
IN an increasing roar of laughter, aud make good
the first impression. The mirth grew fast and
furious when, by way of coup DE grace, he
seated himself at the piano-iorte, and struck off
into one of those CXtrnporaneous chusion which
had filled more critical judges than the Joneses
with delight and astonshmont Ten o'clock
struck, and on Mr. Terry being announced, his
triumphant friend wound up the performance
with the explanatory stanzas:
"I am very much pleased with vour fare,
Your cellars as prime as your cook,
My friends Mr.. Terry, the PLAYER,
Aud I'm Mr. Theodore Hook '."
-rr. ont ltvg tB lilo trtII.,..t 49, D tt.-