Wisconsin tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1847-1854, 1849-03-23
DoDGING A MILITIA FINE.

militia laws were in force in old Massachu
sets, the customary draft was made in s
i country town a few miles from Boston, and q
notice to appear, armed and equipped &C
cerding to law was left at the boarding
! house OF wag who possessed very little mar
tial music in his soul. Determined that
he would neither train nor pay fine, and en-
Pertaining, witha, very Indifferent opinion
of the utility of fe system, he took no 90
/ tice of the summons.
Having been duly warned, however, as he
anticipated, at the expiration Of few weeks
the Sergeant waited upon him with bill of
| niue shillings, for non attendance on the mus
ter.
You're fined, sir-nine shillngs-non ap-
pearance''
What is ii p and the wag, pretended to
misunderstood the collector
"Fine for not training" bawled the other.
ashanti pay it fellow.''
alt will be three dollars next time CALL
But the wag couldn't hear word he said,
md in the course of month he received
summons to appear forthwith at court mar
ta in the district; instituted for the purpose
of trying delinquents and collecting such fines
as could be scared out of the non performers
of duty. Having fixed upon final plan to
dodge the issue, at the appointed hour he
waited upon the court TO show cause, if any
he had, why he shouldn't willingly tote
musket aud knabsack about the town for II
mortal hours, and otherwise perform the legal
e.,fa I;uo a
He was ushered into the court room imme-
diately-which was held in an old country
house-where he discovered some three or
four persons seated, attred in fashy regimen
tails, whose awful "yaler eppolets'' alone,
were sufficient to command the attention and
respect of the profoundest beholder. Tho
somewhat Disconnected at this rather unex-
pected exhibition of spurs aud buttons, he
put bold face on the matter, and responding
to the directions of the junior member of the
august court. he advanced to the table, and
the chief functionary commenced the exam
inaton.
g \ our name, sir -
The offender placed his hand quickly to
the side of his head, without uttering word,
or moving muscle in his face.
What is your name ," repeated the ques-
toner in loud tone.
g A little louder" said the wag without
replying.
Name y shouted the jndge.
Taunton, Bristol County"
''Wha business do you follow ?"
Main etreet," said the dslinquint
/" Your business" yelled the officer.
Right hand side as you go up"
:" How long have you been there ?"
About two miles and half"
:" How old are you, fellow!" continued
the judge nervously.
Boss carpenter"
q What the ID is the matter with your |
ears -
DIR. Scarpie's oil, sometimes
"What. sir 2"
Sometimes Cureem's ointment"
Why don't you answer me 2"
g Nearly five years.
g He's as deaf as adder remarked the |
Judge turning around TO one of his subordin- |
ates, earnestly. Clear the lubber OUT
Z" You are not liable to perform military |
duty said the secretary, with his mouth |
close TO the ways ear.
a. know that" said the fellow coolly.
's His hearing improves" ventured the ser
gsant.
What do you suppose we sit here for ~
asked the Judge, in loud voice.
"A dollar and a half day." said the pris
orer.
g He may go Mr.. sergeant"
You can CO., said the under officer point
ing to the door.
But our friend took no notice Of the order.
You may go !" yelled the judge. Mer-
cy alive is it possible can be as deaf /
as all that 2"
Cant say" continued the delinquent, |
pretending not to understand yet; but
should think"
Go-gol" screamed the judge; +" there's |
nothing to pay. The lord pity the general
who had a regiment like you to command
Show him the door, Major" and hero
soon found himself at liberty.
He was never summoned again to train du-
ring his residence in Taunton.
A GEM FROM AN OLD BOOK.
1t has been eloquently and truly said. that