Washington telegraph., 1849-12-19
DoINGs AT OUR SCHOOL 'oUsE.
BY NIX OF GOWANUS.

"FlrSt class OF VaGabOneS. rise. thun-
dered our schoolmaster. Well. the vag-
abones rose. "Now answer every ques-
ton correctly, or I'll break every bone in
your bodies" was the next pronuncia-
mento of the old autocrat of our red school
house. Sapent old oedagogue! thy years
were many and full acknowledge. Look
ing back through long vista of birch
rods can see his restless grey eyes dart
ing in quick glances from pupil to pupil,
in search of the "graceless scamp who
thra.,, tho last snit h"h '"'. - -
derful precision as to barely escape his
nose, and stick fast on the adjacent wall.
And. now | recollect, he had most per-
picking squint-a squint accommodating;
for If he appeared to be looking directly
at one, that one might 'go it, and no
longer fear OF being detected; bat if his
eyes were fastened in direction one
could not tell where, .hen be wary, for it
might be on you. Glorious old MASTER.
if your eyes squinted your heart was as
true as the needle to the pole-your alice
tiOns had no squint; you thrashed all
alike; and alike shared your wonderful
store of knowledge. This was the last
day of the quarter-for a week our indi-
vidual store houses of lore had been pro-
crossing through the various stages OF
mental ventilation and renovation; our
memories logged; dormant ideas awaken
ed, and all our energies secured up TO a
high state of brightness by a copious ap-
plication of the masters brick-dust of cru
dition. We We're in prime order.
John Brown, what do you understand
by acoustics"
why, a stick to drive COWS with, l
'spose.'
Get out, you young vagabone. did l
not just see you reading about the science
of sound!
Guess not--that was about Sylvester
Sound, the Somnambulist.
1T was eh! Sarah, you are Johns
younger sister!
'Yeth thr.'
what is acoustics!
Il know THRIFT ilh. it ith the art of
making uoith, and hearing nolth.
You are right-explain IT..
'Yeth thir If you stick your finger
in your mouth. aud thelr pull 1t oni thn-
deuly, the cold air ruihelh Iuto The yak
KUN aud prCduTiIerir riIo"rId, .i,r rn u-si1
on the tympan of the ear. wmth maketh
the thound audible, aud it iih called the
thenth of couthtlXth.
You are quite right, Sarah. John, can
vou now tell me what Is meant by acons-
tics! Be careful, sir; or you teel my
stick.
Yes, sir A COW sticks your finger in
l.; Ih Inn n
which sounds awful, and is called the
science OF q COWS kick.
We'll. John-you do credit to your
teacher You may take your books
and run home Willy Chase, what Is
the currency of the United States!
Cash aud money
what are its denominations!
'Coppers. boguses: aud bungtowh cents
pennies, fps, pics, four-pence liza pennys,
levys, nine pences, Spanish quarters, pista-
reens and shiuplaslers.
That will do Jones, what Is the
standard weight Of the United States:
Scale weight, and wait llttie longer.
'Whal is hundred weigh.!
One hundred and twelve pounds.
Samuel how many Kingdoms are there
in the material world!
-Four
Three, only three.
-Four, | think, sir.
We'll, name them-what are they.
Mineral kingdom, animal Kingdom,
vegetable kingdom, and kingdom come
Now how many kinds OF motion are
there?'
-Four
Two: voluntary and involuntary,
Simon says there's four.
What does Simon say they are!
Point, point up, point down, and wig
wag.
You rascal! I've mind to wlgwag
your jacket! Hadn't you better describe
the motion of my stick!
L eau. sir.
sAnd its ef1ect"!
Yes, sir Up stroke. and down stroke
the up stroke, regular and easy the
down stroke, spasmodically electrlfylng.
and its effec are slrikingly indescribabie.
.You understand that, see. Susannah
what Is matter!
There is nuthlng the matter win me-
sir
i ask you what is matter, m I I.
YES. sir-matter is every thing that
has substance. There's animated :na'ter
and vaccine matter, and =
No matter about the rest. speaking 9
Of vaccine matter, puts me Ill mind OF
something else. There has been case
of small pox appeared in the village. or OF
rather varioIoid. which is the botannicai
name for small pox-and Mr.. Scalpel
saws he has some prime vaccine matter
| ,,f his own manufacture, warranted 10
take-and he will vaccinate the whoie
village for eight cents piece. ana 'aNe !,