Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1849-12-17
MISCELLANEOUS.
HOW SETH HAWKINS STOLE THE
OLD LADY,S NIGHT-GOWN.

The Boston Ncus gives US the following, as
having occurred III one of the villages Of the Old
Bay State, within the recollection Of the writer.
We do not know when we have enjoyed so
hearty laugh; as Oil reading this incident in the
life OF Seth Hawkins.
Sunday night was the season which Seth
choose to do his weekly eevours as Mrs. Hor1lby
would say, and his road to neiehbor Jones
whose daughter Sally was the object Of his par
ticular hope, lay across three long miles of ter
ritory, stnmpy as all old woman's mouth, and as
irreclainable as a prodigal son gone away for
the third time.
One all sufficiently dark night ullleedinc
wind and weather, as gallant and spruce lover
as ever straddled stump, Seth, i'll best 'sbib &
tucker,n and dickey, and all that, started upon
his accustomed g weekly pilgrimage to the shrine
of Sally Jones-a sweet girl by the way, as straw
berries and cream are sweet.
Seth knew every lard mark, if he could see it,
but the night was very dark, and in little while
he became confused i'll his reckoning, and tax
ing the light which cleaned from farmer Jones
cottage in the distance for a guide, he pushed
oddly on regardless of intermediate difficulties,
surgng occasionally to the right or left, as some
obstruction rose in mis- path until he ran stem on
as sailors would say, to huge stump, and rolled
incontinetly over the other side.
IlC SdlilcItU LllIioell up sDCOt liC CVElu;
shook himself, to ascertain that no bones were
broken, and then re-sarted on his mission ofloye,
his ardor hat damped by feeling the cold
night wind playing in fantastic iests around his
body, denoting that the conclusion had preached
his tsoh- fe-for-s shame and that the seyen-and.
six penny cassliners were no more to be the par
ticular delight Of his eye i'll contemplation of
their artistic excellence.
He knew not the extent OF the damage sustain
ed, but soon gained the house. His first glance
was over his person to ascertain if decency
would be violated by an unwonted display; but
seeing nothing and trusting to the voluminous
proportions of his coat for concealment he felt
re-assured, and took his seat in proffered chair
by the fire.
Whilst conversng with the farmer about the
weather, and with the dame upon the matter of
cheese, he glanced at Sally, and saw with pain
full surprise, that she was looking anxionsly, and
somewhat strangely, towardsa portion of his
dress. She averted her eyes as she caught his
glance but again catching her eye upon him,
he was induced to turn his eye in the same di-
rection, and saw; good heavens was it his shirt (!
oozing out of six inch aperture in the inside
of one of lis inexpressibles! He instantly
changed his position, and from that rloment
was on nettles. Washe making more revela-
tions by the change? He watched the first op-
portunity TO push the garment in Little, Gould
he succeed in hiding it, itWould relieve his en-
barrahsment 9 Again he watched his chance,
and again slowed away the linen. 1t seemed
interminable, like the doctors tape worm, and
the more be worked at it, the more there. seemed
left.
In the meantime his conversation took fhe
hue of agony, and his answers bore as much re-
lation to the questions asked, as the first line OF
the Songs of Solomon does to the melancholy
hurtben Of tOd Marin Petmo-ill."
At last with one desperate thrust, the whole
disappeared, and he oasta triumphant glance to-
ward Sally One look sufliced to show that she
had comprehended the whole, and with the
greatest effort was struggling to prevent laugh.
Meeting his glance, she could contain herseltno
longer, but screaming with accumulated tun, she
fled from the room and poor Seth unable to en-
dure this last turn OF his agony, seized his hat,
and dashed madly from the house, clearing the
stumps like racer in the dark and reached home
he hardly knew when Or how.
AS soon as he was gone Mrs Jones looked
about for clean nioht-gown that she saad out
for service on the back of the chair on which
Seth sat. She was positive she took it out, but
where upon earth it was she could not conceive.
5t'Sally!" cried the old lady from the door,
shave you seen my nlght-eown"
cYesm" echoed voice, as if in the last stage
Of sufocation-ssyes' m, Seth Hawkins Wore it
home !"
1t was unfortunately the case, and poor Seth
had stored it away in the crevasse OF his pants
1t was returned the next day with an apology,
and he subsequently married Sally; but many
years afterwards if any article of any descrip-
lion was missing, of apparel or otherwise, the
first suggestion was that Seth Haw kins had
stored it away in his trowsers.
Seth Hawkins is now a prominent and iphu-
entail merchant in the city of Boston, and often
relates the story himself for the amusement Of
his young friends.
COMING Down. exceedingly tall gentle
man was walking with very short friend IN the
midst OF heavy shower, when the latter observ-
ed--"Bll, amt it coming down." Bill lifting
his shoulders still higher, answered--"l don't
know how if may be with YOU. but it is raining