Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1849-05-17
A Yankee Trick OH a HoOsier Land.
lord.

In quiet llItie OnlO village, many years ago.
there was tavern where the stages always
changed and the passengers expected TO gel
breakfast The landlord of said Hotel was no.
ted for his tricks upon travellers, who were al
lowed 10 gel fairly seated al the table, when the
driver would blow his horn latter taking his
"horns") and sing Out, "Stage ready. gentle
men," whereupon the passengers were obliged
TO hurry ou, and take their seats, leaving
scarcely tasted breakfast behind them, for which,
however, they had TO fork over fifty cents =
One day when The stage was approaching the
house Of this obllging host, passenger said that
he had often heard of the landlords trick, and
he was afraid they would no, be able 10 get any
breakfast.
"Wha, ?-how. No breakfast !" exclaimed
! The rest.
Exactly so. gents, and you may as well
keep your seats and lin"
Don't they expecl passengers 10 breakfast"
"Oh, yes they expect you 10 II, but not to
ea,is. | am under The impression, there is an
unders, anding between The landlord and driver,
that, for sundry and various drinks, etc. the
lauer starts before you can scarcely commence
eating.
"Wby, wo, on ar,h are yew talking 'bou,
Ef you calkerlaIe I'm goin' 10 pay "four nine
pences" for my breakfuss and not gin The val
lee ont, you air mis,akin'!" said voice from
the back seat, the owner Of which was ons
Hezekah Spaulding- though tew hum they
call him Hez' for short. Pm goin' tew git my
breakfuss yere, and moi pay nary red ill dew"
Then you'll be left"
Mot as yew knows on, wont"
"Well, we'll see" said the other. as the
stage drove up to the door, and the landlord,
l. L. -
"Breakfas, jus. redy, gents Take wash
gents Here's water, basins, towels, and soap
After performing their ablulions, they all pro.
ceeded TO the dining-room, and commenced
fierce onslaught upon the edlbles. though hez
took his time. Scarcely had they tasted Ihei
E coffee, when they heard the unwelcouae sounC
, of the horn, and The driver exclaim "St9.ge rea
dy!" Up rise eigh. grumbling passengers, pay
their SO cts, and taking their seats.
cali aboard, gents :" inquiries the host.
: "ONE missing" said they.
Proceeding 10 The dinng-roon. The host ind
/, Hez very cody helping hin,self to an immense
5 piece of steak, the "size of a horses lip"
you'll be left, sir ! Stage is going to start ,
r "Wal haint got no,hin lew say agin il
dtawls ou, Hez.
"Can't wait. sir, better take your seat.
an be gaul-darned ef dew, nuher, till Nv.
got my breakfuss paid for it. and I'm goln
TO gi, the vallee ont and Of yew calkalale
ant, yew air mistaken
So the Stage did start, and left ffez, who con
tinued his attack Of the edIbles. Biscuits. COT
fee, steaks. &C., &C., disappeared rapidly be-
: fore The eyes Of the asIonished landlord.
!, Say. Squire, them there cakes Is 'bou, East
fetch Us nuther grist on em. Yuu," 10 ih'
e waiter,) "nurher cup Nv that air coffee. Pass
' them eggs. Raise yew're own pork, Squire
/ this Is mazin' nice ham. Land bout years
,olerabIe cheap, Squire Hain't got much ma
pie timber in these parts, hev We! Dewin
righ, smar, trade Squire +! calla,e. Dom
lay yew'rs own eggs, dew ye :" and thus He7
KEEP, quizxing the landlOrd until he had made
hearty meal
"Say, Squire, now I'm bou, tew conclude
t PAWN my devowers ,ew This ere table, but e
: yew'd lis, give US bowl o. bread and milk Iew
. sorler top off with, Id be much 0bleeged lew
9 ye."
So on, goes landlord and waiter for The bow
r milk and bread, and Sc, them before Hez.
d "Spewn, lew, ef you please J"
e Blu, no spoon could be found. Landlord wa,
sure he had plenty silver ones laying on the
table when the stage stopped.
= Say yew dew you think them passengers
: is going TO pay yew for breakfuss and not gu
e no compensashun :"
/ "Ah! what! Do you think any of the pas
d sengers took them 2
h "Dew | THINK! No don't think. but IN
!. sarin. Ef they air all as green as yew 'abou'
here, I'm goin' lew locate immediately and le"
wons,."
The landlord rushes out TO the Stable and
e starts man off afer The Stage, which had gone
) about three miles. The man overlakes the
stage, and says something 10 the driver in
!. low lone. He Immediately turns back. and on
!, arriving at the Hoel. Hez comes out TO take
/, his seat, and says
"Heow air yew, gents I'm rotten glad tew
) see yew
Z "Csn YOU pon, ou, The man you 'h'nk has
The spoons Z" asked tho landlord.
"Pln, him out Sarinly. ken, Say Squire!
!, paid you four nnepences tor breakiuss. and
, | caila,e GOT THE vALLEE ONT You'll find
them spoons in the coffee pot =
tiu ahead ALL ABOARD, driver .--Spir,t 81
the Tunes,