Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1849-10-08
MISCELLANEOUS.
YOU CAN TAKE MY HAT
By UNCLE TOBY.

we We're once coming over the railroad from
Washington city to Baltimore, when we observed
a peculiar sort OF a man setting hard by-a tall
slim, good natured fellow, hut one who somehow
seemed to bear the impress Of a person who lived
by his wits written upon his face. friend who
was With me answered my enquiry as TO who he
was, and at the same time asked me to keep be-
tween the object Of my notice and HIMSELF lest he
should come over to our seat, as nv COMPANION
said he knew him but did not wish to recognize
him there.
"lhat Is Beau H." said he, "a man that is
universally known in Washington as one of the
most accomplished fellows in the city. always
ready to borrow Of, or drink with YOU He new
er has any money. however, and am curious to
know how he will get over the road without pay
ing for he will surely do it some way.o
PROBABLY he has got cket-borrowed the
money TO buy 1t with, something Of that sort -
said l.
Not he. Beau always travels free, and boards
IN the same way. He never pays money when
wit or trick will pass current in their place.
'What shocking bad hat he has got on, u said
l, Observing the dilapdated condition ofhis beaver
Its some trick Of his, doubtless, for the rest Of
his dress, you will observe, is quite gentee"
eyes, see.o
My friend went on to tell me how Beau had
done his tailor out Of receipt in full for his last
years bill, and the landlady at his last boarding
place, and various other specimens of his ingenuity
and wit.
"fle owed me ten dollars,'' said nv friend
'butin attempting to collect it of him one day,
III be hanged if he didn't get ten more out ofme
SO think shall let the matter rest there, for fear
OF doubling the amount once more''
Al thls moment the conductor entered the op
posIte end OF the cars to gather the tickets from
the passengers and give them checks in return
Many OF them, as is often the case with travellers
whoare frequently called upon on popuous routes
to show their tickets, had placed theirs in the
bands OF their hats, so that the conductor could
see that they We're all right, and not trouble them
to take them from their pockets at each stopping
place watched Beau to see what his expedent
would be to get rid of paying for his passage As
the conductor drew nearer, Beau thrust his head
out OF the car window, and seemed absorbed in
contemplating the scenery on that side of the road
there was no answer
"Iicket sir" said the conductor, tapping him
on the shoulder
Beau sprang back into the car, knocking his hat
into the road and leaving it in one minute nearly
mile behind. He looked first at the conductor,
then opt of the window after his hat, aud in a
seeming tit Of rage exclaimed -
"What the d. do you strike man in that
way for? Is that your business? Is that what
the company hires yop for %
81 beg your pardon, Dir, only want your tick
et,~ replied the conductor, meeky.
Ticket? o, yes, it's all very we'll for you to
want my ticket, but ] want my hal ~ replied
Beau, brstling up.
"Vely sorry sir only meant TO call your at
tenton, and took the only means in my power"
said the conductor.
You had better use cane to attract person's
attention next, and hit him over the head with it
II ne happens to be locking the other way" replied
The indignant Beau.
Well sir, will apologize to you again if you
wish. have done already once" said the
now disconnected conductor.
''Yes no doubt, but that don't restore nv prop
erty that's gune."
"Well sir, cannot talk any longer, I'll take
your ticketif you please" said the conductor.
"Iicket2 Haven, you just knocked it out of
The window, hat and all Doyou want to add
insult to injury 2"
"Oh. your ticket was in your hat band 2" sng-
gested the conductor.
''Supposng you stop the train, and 90 back and
see" SAID the hatless beau, with indignant scorn
depicted on his face.
"Well sir. shall pass you free owe. the road
Them" replied the conductor, attempting to 90 on
with his duty
'sIhe price of a ticket" said Beau, sis one dol
lar; my beaver cost me v. Your good sense
VIII at once show that there is balance of four
dollars in my favor at any rale.''
'lhe conductor hesitated. Beau looked like
gentleman TO one not perfectly posted up in the
human face he was we'll dressed, and his indic-
nation appeared most honest
"l'll see you after have collected the tickets"
replied the conductor, passing on through the car
Beau sat in silent indignation, frowning at every
body until the official returned and came and sat
down by his side. Beau then, in an earnest under
tone, that we could only overhear occasionally,
talked to the conductor like "dutch uncle" and
we saw the crest fallen man of tickets, pay the
hatles passenger four dollars.
The Trick was at once seen through by both my
friend and myself, and the next day oyer bottle
of wine at tile Monument House, Beau told us he
was hard up hadn'! dollar, picked up an old hat
at Gadsby's hotel, in Washington, put his cap in
his pocket, and resolved that the hat should carry
him to BALTIMORE and it did, with four dollars Into
the bargain.