The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1849-04-25

kin?'
Never. Popkin, if you please, SIR
added the applicant.
Ever had any affection of the hearth
mo, ,;sir! Mr.. Samuel Popkin is q
bachelor
Have you ever met with q serious
accident?'
Never. That is-beg your pardon
continued Mr.. P, checking him
self quickly, and seeming to recollect
something Of consequence-there spas
q slight accident
What was it, Mr.. Popkin-no Sc
crets, if you please
Some years ago. said Mr.. p,
gravely-and he wiped the perspiration
from his forehead-'it was eleven years
this fall'-
well, sir, out with it-out with it,
1T was no fault of mine, sir-but
was turned out of the Boston Custom
House!'
Turned out of the Boston Custom
Housed! exclaimed the querist, letting
fall his pen in amazement. and staring
at the applicant, apparently thunder
struck.
4 trust, sir, this does not render me
ineligible by the rules of your Associa-
tion,' continued the applicant, terribly
alarmed.
'We shall see, Mr.. Poppin.'
'Pop-kin, SIR chimed in the the fat
man, again--and raising his handkcr-
chef to his feyered checks, once more
he wiped away the sweat from his face,
and wished himself safely at home
The clerks put their heads together
o few minutes, and the eldest then rose
very solemnly, and approaching Mr.. P.
with large trumpet, placed the bot.
tom Of it directly against the side of his
ear, and yelled fire! as loud as his
stentOrian lungs would permit, causing
the unsuspecting and quiet gentleman
to spring from his chair into the centre
of the room.
Very nervous temperament said
the examiner, gazing at him, while one
of the others pretended to write down
the fact. Then, as if the thought had
just struck him, his tormentor wheeled
out the desk from against the wall, and
turning to Mr.. Popkin, he said
sNow, sir--jump!'
sGod bless me!--Do what?'
Jump, sir--oyer that desk
'Impossible!'
'You ustjump clear of the top of
that desk, Mr.. Popkin, or your insur-
ance won't be worth straw
The poor victims imagination was
stretched to the last tention, but deter.
mined to make an effort to save what
had cost him 50 much trouble already,
he ncrvcd himself up, and advanced to
the desk--balked-ran back-and
then, with final desperation, sprang to
the edge Of the railing. The boys stood
by, and as he reached the top, they aid
ed his progress by series of thumps
and jerks, when MIR. Samuel Poplin
finally found hims.!f painting, and puff:
ing, and Wheeling, fiat on his back, up
on the other side of the desk. The ru-
bicon was passed, but Sammy was vel!
nigh :done for!'
The wags lifted the applicant up,
dashed o pitcher oficed water in his face
(by way Of relieving his lungs,) and
then informed him that he could 90, and
that he would find their decision upon
his case in the Post Office, next morn
ing.
Half dead with fright and exertion,
Mr.. Popkin gladly hurried away, and
in his box, next day, he found the fol-
lowing satisfactory epistle:
'The Government of the "Mutual
Prop'em up Association" in the case
Of Samuel Popkin, Esq, Accountant,
decide that man once IN the Boston
Custom House, who isn't smart enough
to stay there, and who, at forty.four, is
unable, without aid, to jump over a
desk less than FIVE feet high, is decid-
edly uninsurable.
PETER SYPHAX, Secretary.
Mr.. Popkin gave it up, but he chan
ced to outlive both his sisters. Poster
ity suffered nothing by his demise, but
to the day of his death, his aversion to
all sorts Of 'Insuranccs' was most bit
ter and determined.
When Prince Albert gives her Ma
jesty kiss, and the Queen returns it,