Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1849-03-08
MISCELLAN EOUS
THE .GREAT MYSTERIES.

/ OF THE
SONS OF TEMPERANCE FOUND OUT.
/ "I've jest found it all out bout you Sons O
Temperance" exclaimed old Mrs. Credulou,
in an ecstacyof i'll concealed delight "Yor
Sonnies of Temperance can't cheat nc, I'm
little tew cunnen for you. No use for YOU
to tell me bout your Love for your Brethren
and all that sort of stuff, and put on your
mysterious airs, and keep your tongues an
der lock and all that I've found it all eout
know the hull ont from beginuinf to
eend" And she looked very knowingly as
she tossed her head proudly, her eyes spark
ling like Goals of FIRE. 4 The old lady had
just returned from tea party given by Mrs
Jones where young man, not member
of the Order, but who affected to be one,
and well acquainted with all the amysteries
of the Order" and every thing appertain-
ing to it, had quietly fallen in with the whim-
l steal objections the dear old creature had
| wisely made against the Sons Of Temper
ance, and to fix them in their opinions, and
Iesuperstitious conjectures, had amused him.
self by flvoring them with pretended de-
velopment of the secrets of the Order, and
description of the ceremonies of initiation.
Her +son-in-law, to whom she made the
triumphant exclamation above quoted. was
member of the Order, who had long ago
ceased from what he saw vain attempt to
eradicate the good old lady's objections. and
now suffered her to enjoy her opinions to
her hearts content But on this occasion.
her triumphant and emphatic manner excl
ted his curiosity, and he quietly asked her to
explain herself
"Oh Johnny said she, ayou wouldn't Ak
me to 'splaiu myself eff you know'd what /
could tell yo~, - -wss miuv-AA---D~%E-
won't crafty you so much, that won't"
"Welll" said Johnny, as he took up his
hat, and stepped towards the door
"You remember that no persuasion was
powerful enough to induce Jack to his sup
per on particular occasion, don't you"
sWhat do you mean" cried the old lady.
This raised the ire of the old lady, and
she declared she teoGH tell it now @jest eout
of spite.n She was dying all the while to
make her revelation, but hoped Johnny would
coax her to unfold her tale
"Well," said Johnny, Sim all attention"
"In the first place" began the old lady,
'the teller that's to be took in, has got to 60
with passed. of fellors in dark room, and
when they git him there, they lock him up
in big iron chest, with hole in one end
for him to breathe through. And there he's
kept three hours, then he's snaked eout of
that and rubbed all over with soft soap, and
down a big holler pipe till he hollers like
loon. Then he's taken out and tied up in
sack, and a passed. of them heathenish fell
lers carry him into the room where they hold
their meetin's Thea the lights is all put
eout, and when the room $ as dark as Egypt,
he's taken eout of the sack, and put in
coffin. The lid is screwed down, and he's
lugged round the room nigh about half an
hour"
Show does he breathe, mother7"
"Yew needn't make SO strange bout them
holes bored in the top ont; abeout half an
hour, as l was sayin', and then the coffin is
sot upon an cend, and dead march is sung,
and he's axed in an awful solemn voice, that
sounds jest for all the world like ghost, eff
he's willin' to proceed Eff he says he is,
then the lid is onscrew'd, and he finds him
self standin' with six sharp pynted swords
held close tew his breast and neck, by fell
lers dressed like evil spirits. Oil massey on
us its Senuff to make body's blood run
cold tew think ont And he's told if he ev-
er tells word abeout the secrets of the Or
der, he'll be made away with jest as sartin'
as the death
ado you believe they would murder him
if he should tell, mother2n
aTo besItRre do; knotc they wouldn
sHow did Tom Smith escape to tell you
this 2"
aPoor creeturT" exclaimed the good old
lady aim the fust one he ever told, and
'spect ey'ry mint to hear he's missin' But
don't interrupt me so--yew put me out
| Wall, he promises faithfully-Fm blessed il
don't believe be dassent for his life do any
other way than promise, that he'll never tell
no Twin ereetur. Then he's told eff he duz
that his tongue II be chopped of, and his
mouth sew'd up, his eyes put eout, and his
hands tied behind him, and in that distress
ed condition he'll be put in a coffin and bu-
RED alive in less than no time.n
aWall, the miserable critter is then lei
eout Of the coffin and walked abeout the
room On his hands and knees, and ordered Il
thank them heathenish fellers for pinchin'
kickinI, and punchin' him, pullin' his hair
ringini his nose, and treadin' on his corns.-
You needn't laff It's all true as the Gospe
am YOU know IT. It's shameful to treat hu
man natur that way, an not to Be lated a
i nuthef & -
| sThen he's ordered tew set on plan
covered all over with burgundy pitch, an
made tew smoke opium, and sneezin' snu
till he's nigh about half ded, and thea the
give him the grip and--n g.
aWhy mother, they have no grips
siNo use for you lev try teu deceive me,
. know The hull ont from top 70 bottom
aWsll thsns what & The grip, mother y
II HWhy, one on en- grabs him By the nee
. | ana be grabs 't0ther, and then they give e.,
| other IN AL chokin' squeeze 1ken II.
whisper The secret word n his len ear.n
: rWhats ihe word, mother =
II eBeIlymasbazzar, 70 b shnre; Jon IND
; a vel Is / do You needn't 70 laf ag.i
1r.[--t H Then thew nfra him tho e1cn