The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1849-12-08
N IS0NN u a N ECU S.
The Visited Voter.
A Story Of Boring Candidates for QGc'
BY PETER TIMs0N.

BY PETER TIMsoN.
A correspondent OF the New Orleans Delta,
furnishes the following clever hit at travelling
candidates for Office
One day just as | was to sit down to
dine on nice fat capon that my wife had
laid upon the table (he capon was just
large enough for her and me, and had
pulled the cork out of cool bottle of clar-
ct, man walked up the gallery steps, hat
in hand, bowing and smirking, and says
he, Good day sir--this is Mr.. Timson,
believe slr!' Yes, sir that is my name
take seat sir Thank you Mr.. Tim.
son. said he laying his hat oneside, and
planting himself in a chair with an air that
showed plainly enough that my fat capon
was in danger. very warm weather, SIR
said he, Very said |. Shall trouble
you for drink of water I said he, 'Oh no
trouble, said l.; here Polly said | speak
ing to a niggar girl, 'here Polly, 60 set the
decanters upon the side board walk in
sir and take something to stimulate the sys-
tenn Well really said he, 4 hardly ev-
er drink anything 'Oh, it won't hurt you
sir, said |, walk in, walk in Well he
did walk in, and as he passed the table, he
cast an eye upon my capon. Mrs. Tim
son saw the glance, and turned pale--not
that my dear wife begrudged the capon,
but she knew that there was not enough
for three and there was no time to cook
another. He took a stiff horn, and then
turned around and told me that his name
was Grimpkin, and that he was a candi-
date for the Legislature. ! told him that
| was glad to make his acquaintance, and
introduced him TO Mrs, Timson, who told
him that she was very glad to see him,
(pOor woman she told white one that
time, but | hope it will be forgiven her
in factI feel certain it will, for she was
driven to it you know, and | invited him
TO set dawn and take dinner. Mrs. Tim
son excused herself with the plea that she
had TO 90 out and attend 10 negro child
that had just been taken very sick, (may
the guilty-that is, the candldate--sufer
for that sin, too, as am confident it will
be the case,) and left us to devide the cap
on between us, she, dear heart, dining on
mush and milk Very little Of that capon
did | eat, and very little of my cool bottle
of claret passed my lips | had Mr., Grimp-
kin's horse fed too, and he kept me up.
after dinner, talking about what he ment to
do when he got into Legislature whilst |
would have given more for my aner-din-
ner nap than would for all his principles
and brains put together. | didn't promise
to vote for him, but hinted very strongly
that way. The fact isl never heard ofhim
before. When he went away, and lay
down on the CELERY and went to sleep,
had gone off into deep and glorious
snoozc, and was dreaming that huge
monster with forty heads ION each ofwhich
was great brass gimIet la rinoCeros,)
had announced himself as candidate for
all the Offices within the gift of the people
when Mrs. I'imson (who would no more
have dared to disturb my siesta on ordina-
ry occasions than she would have cut Off
her little finger tickled my nose with a
feather and awOke in very bad humor. -
Curse it all, Mrs. Timson, my dear =
said /, starting up and rubbing my eyes,
what the devil did you disturb me for eh
Mrs. Iimson?' oh don't speak SO loud,
said she in whisper, there's gentleman
sitting in the parlor-another candidate
put on calm countenance and walked
in, and there sat an intelligent, bright look
ing young man, whom | saw at glance,
was a gentleman distinguished as a candi-
date. He rose up and apologised very
gracefully for having disturbed me, and
told me that he was a candidate; that IN
cxorable custom compelled him to visit the
people, and that he wished to occupy as
little of their time, and give them as little
trouble as possible. Sir said | with fer
vor, you shall have my vole-you are a
gentleman, see hat, and I'll vota for you,
sir What are your politics, and for what
do you rum lie explained it all and after