The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1849-03-23
The Patent Rag Chcwer.

H0osiER TRYING 10 MAKE MONEY.
lna village not many hundred miles from
ms place, there j. established a paper mill
winch attracts no small share Of attention
from the curions, and elicits many visit,
as All are on course anxious to see the proc
eSs ei converting rags into paper. II some.
times happens that these crowds of admi-
rers Of the marvellous, contain among their
number some Of those real matter. Of fact
kind of fellows who like to know something
Of cause as well as effect, which may be il.
lus'ra'rd by the following dialogue
81 say, stranger, how 10 you &c, them ere
rags fine enough for making papcr.'
I'VE have men employed TO chew them,
SIR, replied the paper man. -'To what! to
chew them sir?'
'fes, to chew them, 10 be surc-dd You
never hear chewing rags 10 make pa.
pcrp
NO, never did, and would like to know
what wages yon give, cause got little
the best set Of teeth you ever did see,' said
the green 'un, ginning gnaShing at the same
tune. IN the way Of exhibition, with fury
that made the iesting proprietor quake, lest
me Joke should turn upon himself in the
form Of a personal combat
u see. see, replied he Of the m pcr mill.
stepping hack 81 never saw better set Of
teeth for business. Well. we give expert
cnced hands 81 80 per day, and new begin.
ners 81 OO-dn you think you would like
the business, sir?'
yes, stree, and the wages too.' replied
the other with delight
very well, sir. you may set in for month.
and at the expiration Of that, we no doubt
will raise your wages. Here, WOW may
commence at his handing an Old saddle
blanket TO his much delighted applicant.
who took it and SAT down TO his task. with
as much SING rod as an rpicure would TO
a well roasted piece Of beef.
u say, old par do you think tha''ar blank.
etwill stand me any time at all-whv could
chew II Ill smash MP, and swallow il before
could tell what time the sun sets by El;on's
almanac
He set to work like a juvenile steam en-.
CINE, his heavy teeth grinding a. If they
were millstones. the dust flying. huf desrc-
ra'cIy intent on earning good learning " A..
GcS, though the labor was decidedly bad liv-
ing. With the ferociiy Of n Bengal tiger.
and spirit worthy Of better cause. the mar.
tyr 10 the progress of science. continued his
task. wondering beyond expression. IN his
own mind, how many hands, or rather how
many sets ofteeth i, took 10 do The chewing
ofthat 'tarha,ion hic mill But it was in
vain that the heavy jaws waacch and the
sharp teeth crushed, the pile cfchcwcd rags
did not seem TO grow very fast; AMI tr aid
10 the machines rising f., lings uf indigna-
ton, crowd began 10 gather round to wit
ness the singular spectacle Of \ human op.
position TO the rag breakers, shaking the
whole building from another Department..
Nv hatin tarnatlon are you capiu' atp at
last exclaimed the rag newer through q
wouihiul Of rags in state Of maslicaiX IN.
'Drat ye, thar is fifty rag spilin' machins>
like me mp stairs. all in bunch-why don't
you go mp and sec theme
The crowd look ed very much delighted.
and expressed themselves highly pleased
with his performance.
u know that ! can't 90 it like them fel-
lers mp stairs. for my grinders aim, used TO
il yet besides don't believe hose blank
cts is good to start on; but tell YOU stran.
gers, when it comes 10 vittalS, or tebeker.
I'm thar
The fun began 10 rise. and with il the rag
NItN'IN llltlElldlItlI. see llPTp, Stranger.
he beloved. splitting out his last attempt.
aud halIooinc at his employer, who had Just
appeared blamed to bamnation. if I'm 60
Ing to sit here and be laughed at in this ere
way-if you don't put me up stairs among
the rest Of EN-, ! won't chew up another
blanket, darned i'll do!'
what exclaimed the employer. with n
sober face, and very Indignantly. SIS tina, all
you've got chewed up? And wet, too, by
thunder! Get out Of ELLSWORTH never do
for this business in the world. There's n
blanket ruined 10 all eternity. too for yr,I'
wet every nouthful, and how can we make
dry paper ont Of wet rags? Come. move
yourself in n hurry
The victim did mt await second invita-
tion, bnt went Off in all speed for fear he
should be called upon to pay for the blank.
1T, fully determined hrrcafterto stick to vi,
lawful business, and etpaper mills alone
Gin. Times.