Republican vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1857, 1849-12-03
GOT Jsisf WRONG E0GTS, OR 4TIss
LAWYER AND RAZOR STOP MAN.

GOT ysiE WRONG R0OrS, OR THE
LAWYER AND RAZOR STOP MAN.
The Razor Strop man stopped at tavern in q
Southern city, and the house being very much
crowded with company, he was obliged TO sstr
with a sawyer, albeit it was rather warm weaih.
er for the game Of "tWo in Eed.n What with
hard feathers, melting atmosphere and 1nyriade
OF bgZzng biting mosquitoes, the twain were
kept awake all night, and daylight had scarcely
given token fits approach ere they were on the
floor busily engaged III atjring ihenlselyes. 81.
though it was scarcely light enough for them t.
distinguish their articles OF dress.
's&e.l, = said the strop rnai. III telling the sto~t
III his omieal way, -.yo0 see the lawyer Got
dressed fFst ard weEt dowft and, nea1 -
can ltldge. tanls o glass ofsonaeissisa fJFsss q
The bar, and theh todtIled into The street We'll,
as for myself, ldid not feel as lively as eepel.
ally 90, so took any time and fixed myself leis
uftl y, until daylight had fairly set ing wheii
walked down into the bar room, ana not think
ing Of anything in particular, found myself in Il
few moments leanli' oser the bar and staring
right in the face OF the bar keeper. looked SO
wishtllly, thai he naturally supposed that "antt
ed a horn, and 50 says he, "allal'N it be Mr.
Smith e"
IsWiatll what be % aeked T.
Why, what'n you have in your hckes, 4'
SAYS he.
"Well5 guess shall lake Wzen, il take AZ
al, said l.
|'You needn't be 50 tollchy about IT, says rs
looking as blue as an indigo bag, ii son don's
wan; the liquor souneed ut drink it, shouldn't
nave asked you 10 take anything il yoll hadn's
looked like man that wanted 2 horn ike on@
possessed, and you da7ss,H say tor fear OF the
ptowlers.n ssrs
tWell. [ didn't know what to say to the chap
for ! couldn't account myself fer my going 50
straight up to the bar, when il was my ustlGi
custom to give il a wide berth However waltz
ed very patiently until breakfast time, ard kept
eonsoling myself with the thought that the bag
keeper was BLACKBOARD, and knowing 1bat \
was a tea1oaer wanted TO Insult lne. As soosk
as breakfast was over, took my basket Of stfoEa
Oh my arm, and Went 10 the square in aeni Of
the Court House, and soon had q big. crowd a.
round me as Usual. began TO harareue The
boys On the powerful propersitses OF my stfop,
but somehow or other got new lot OF words
that had never used before, and every row al'<
then would come up KERe5IuHK against long
ontiandish phrase Nhich would SET the peapie
te laughing like good fellows. Htie:e2 said is
a 81 rop gentlemen, fich will gise the fnesf ana
keenest edge 10 Year aaJeas eo'Yos to dull ra=
zor or knife it will give smooth dmbeas and pre-
ve.it all damages 10 Inc cheek Or eilia.--No one
who buys my strop: gentlemen, will ever enter
Il complaint, or become non santed CT can pres
eoete his bueiness without being liable 10 a no..
pros aud gentlemen Of the jury, the price is only
25 cts and costs.
THE more talked the more the people laugh.
ed and 10 tell the tiuth, had to laugh nlyeel4
at my own rmuayne AT last gave II Up as 8
bad job, and told The crowd that shouldn't sell
any more strops that day. So put my stroTg
in a nei4iboring barber shop for safe keeping
and then took a stroll through the town, and by
and by got opposite the Cont House hearing
a man putting in pretty hard 10 the gentlemen O.
the inry tho't woilld go and see the fun
When GOT INTO the Court Room, vino should
see but my old bed fellow, the lawyer and the
way he was laying down law was q cantlon.-v
He seemed to be i'll as bad box as Twas little
while before; and every once IN While wonlc
drag in something about my razor strofs.
';Gentlemen of The inry," said he, Athis is eTl-
IDENTIFY dill razor-l beg pardon, a very de1
case, and my client, the plaintiff. has been hadly
Moycd by the bafber-I mean the de}endant.-
Gentlemen, the defendants case has certainly
uiyu edge and he deserves to be thoroughly ioth4
cred by this honorable jury, for pnst1ning to
strcr--I mean sIute-that is to say Cheat ana
deflaud my client the plaintiff and trust thai
his BARBER ous conduct will bfso manifest tfaas
| he will be honed by this honorable court TO the
| full extent OF the law'
| Gas YOU will imagine, such mees OF razor
strop logic set the whole court i'll All uTroar !,
! Judge, Jury, client, defendant and spectators
laughed loud and long al the apparently drunken
| harangre of the poor lawyer, and it Was net
until dinner time, when he and myself wsIs
seated at the table, that he secret OF our several
mistakes were detected. The truth vas, that
the lawyer in his hurry to dress in the morning,
had put on my boots by mistake, which accounts
for his heg.ng ''razor stlops'' iuto his Plea hla
l. of necessity. Put on his boots, which explains
my using those outlandish expressions about
habeos corpus, cGT9us mol pros, &c, as may, also;
nv unaccountable drawing to the bar III the
morning"
"You'lI never catch the Razor Strop man put,
ting on LAWYERS, much less drinking lawyers
boots again. n-Paul's Weekly Gallery.
u George Washington was mali Of sense4
and his opinions ON any subject are deserving OF
respect. He said: .
~ he foolish and wicked pr ctice Of cursng
and swearing is a vice SO mean and:low that ev-
cry person of sense and character cesplses it,
We hope if any proiane person reads this ar
tice they will consider how decidedly vulgar
il j. to swear, how little it benefits them, and
act accordingly. Nothing wonld create such an
| unfavorable mpre ssion In regard 10 stranger
SO quick as to hear him utter an OATH. ltstamrs
him at once as low bred person ST. Louts
Democrat
To YOU'VE MEN.--Never marry a girl that is
fond of being always in the street--W no Is lend
of running 10 night meeti,,g--who has a jeweled
hand and an empty head-who will see her
mother work and toll while she lays in bed aud
reads novels OF teiglls sckness--w no lie ashamed
TO own her.
~
u There is said to be man down East wno
WAS never merry hut once IN his lie and thai
was when his W lie died
THE Printers OF PAR1s.-A late letter from
Paris, says ''Ihare is one class OF men, whose
social meetinos and eatinos are distinguished for
! ,be;, Good t.s,a a, A burnor Imean the Dfinterag