Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1849-08-25
miscellaneous.
From the Pittsburgh Saturday Visiter.
The P~antalOOn Argument.

AlhSh huo OOCh ohiO oOOuh BShhaOCNN
government" but the poet-prophet has
yet TO be born who can sing the glories
Of pantaloon superiority. 'Twere q pity
Homer had not dedicated his muse 10 it
Tha, Shakespeare and Byron should have
passed the wondcrous theme, is aston
ishing; but our living poets should arouse
themselves and strike the lyrel What
are the shades Of Parnassus, or the waters
of HeIicon, to the wisdom-inspiring, au-
,hority-confcrring panlaloon! "Skin for
skim" SAYS Satan, "dH that n man hath
will he give for his life )" bu, Satan for
got 10 'except his pantaloons." What
gives him his authority over the beasts OF
the field, the fish Of the sea, and the fowl
ofthe air, and his mother TO boot Why,
verify, his pan,aloons. Might not much
repetition have been spared in the last
part of the first chapter of Genesis, by
simply saying, "And lie gave them a
pair of pa%nlaloons Z" What was the use
of enumeraling particulars, when a word
would have covered all Then, again,
the commission of authority might better
have been renewed to Noah by the gift of
a pair Of pantaIoons! The ancients
made a sad mistake in (ancying Apollo
and Mercury subduing and civilizing the
World with a Lyre and branch ofHazel.
When they proposed to visit the earth
for their benign purpose, the Ihieving god
must have given TO the son of Latona a
pair of pantaloons, which he had stolen
somewhere and concealed under his
cloak; and the divine Apollo, anxious
to display his symmetry, added straps,
and camo upon the world in the double
divinity Of his godhead and his pan,a.
looms; and no wonder he produced a sem
sation. What a pair Of simpleions Juno
and Minerva were 10 let Venus carry off
the apple for the gift of the fa;resl woman
in the world! They might have known
"a kingdom" or ''intellectual superiori-
ly and martial renown," would not weigh
against 4 pretty wife. Why did not Mi
nerva, who is said 10 be wise, ask Paris
TO reconsider and offer him a pair Of pam
falcons? Then books and beauty would
have been forever united ! DO wish we
had been there with three yards of cordu-
roy, a pair Of scissors and a needle We
would have had the apple in spite of We
nus present and Helen in the perSpcc-
tive We would give something for an
authentic description of Agamemnon's
sceptre, made by old Vulcan We be-
lieve firmly it was a pair of iron breech-
es, made as an indication Of the future
reign Of panlaloons-of that exclusive
authority, regal power, wisdom and
superiority Of which the p~antaloon is now
the sole emblem!
Heigho! If we hav'nt grown CLASH.
cal! A miracle, q miracle! But it is
plainly ascribabie 10 The inspiration of
our subject, and "why for no 2" Are
not these same pantaloons the title by
which one class claim an exclusive RICH,
10 the classics Are they not the mys-
FERROUS badge which marks the su~periori-
ty of a drunken dolt 10 q Felicia He
mans, or Maria Child And why shoulC
partnership with the godsl Any ont
who will open his eyes cannot help see
ing our estimate Of the importance o
panialeohs is moderate. Do they no
claim 10 be the badge of all power-phys
ical and mental. Let a woman display
physical courage, and she is s~lraighlwa,
e voted a pair Of pantaloons. Let her dis
play any strength of iniellect-any orig
inulity and power of thought, and panla
looms, panlaloons is the cry. Lot he
even aspire 10 learn, and she is TO be dec
GRATED with pantaloons, as a king be
slows stars and garters! 1t is now abou
three years since we first began 10 writ
about such political, moral or religion
questions as we thought concerned tn
y common welfare of our race. In thi
time we have nae opposition from u
TO classes, kinds and conditions Of men an
women-from the cowardly anonymor
{ scribbler, who dare not sign his name
his paltry letter, up 10 reverend divine
and George ID. Preniiss; but the burde
OF every argument was "panialoons.
Lately, Purdy, of the Boston Mail, hs
treated us TO another dish Of logic O
pantaloons. This is the walch-word @
all occasions. 1t is the soldier, The mi
IL nitions of war, the Notifications, the ev,
ny thing that guards masculine prerogi
lives. A woman dare not think lest ST
be threatened with having 10 wear pal
falcons; and it is not much wonder Il
bare idea should keep her in subjeciiol
But we should like to SEQ some of Il
- lords cudgel their brains for a u new ide
a new argument, 10 convince oma
her duties and their superiority! May
" if they would lay their heads togelh
they could c%onjUre up something else
nd say besides ''pantaloons."
g. A.
sick Of the Ihraldom Of strong drink,
a l-.-1 L.---.Ir