Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1849-08-17
From the Washington Unisn.
SPLITS,

elf it isn't the devil, split me- OH
Luci,ts O'7rigg~.
For he could sever and divide
A hair 'twixt north and northwest side,
And tell what difference there be
'Twixt tweedie dunn and tweedle dee"
[Hudibras.
Patrick, you are an Unlocking child"
Arrah, and so am but when / was boy
was beauty, but the nurse who had charge Of me
changed me in the cradle for weaver's brat, and
that accounts for my ugly mus" -Rousseau.
When party is divided upon the merits of
two rd licals, who desire equally to serve their
country for eight dollars per day and their
countrys good, it is not unusual for a third
candidate sort of independent .frin-an
anti-ultra Individual, TO step in and bear off
the glores of the election. This is called
getting in by split; and this individual, a.
gainst whom nothing could be said, is apt to be
found one in whose favor nothing can be said
after it is too late 10 amend the record. We
hate all splits; and, as Mrs. Darlington Justly
observes, the man who trusts TO them is apt
to find himself in nip when the pinching
time arrives The whig party, who were rep
resented by mixed multitude at the slaughter
house in Philadelphia, took a spit candidate
as compromise and run him in IS nolus vo-
lus,'' as General Taylor classically observed
TO Colonel May at the battle of Palo Alto.
When great party is in the "deah hrGrU,' >
as the present Clayton republican party is
now, it is apt TO present some most curious
splits and fractures to the eyes Of the beholder
Consistency, propriety, and even good old
honesty-these have some wonderful cracks
in their tender places, and virtue even is found
TO have the whole rim knocked off her crock
cry. ~
There have been splits in the church, split,
in the state, splits in families, and in family
utensils also. And we have yet to hear of the
first congregation. body polite, household
gathering, or article, that was the better 70
such violence.
If it requires brute force, with beetle an,
wedges OF iron, 10 part asunder common
billet of wood, how much more power mus
: it require TO split great party. founded upo
common sense, to pieces +? And if it only rem
ders the billet of wood better kindling stu
: for a speedy fire in the first instance, wha
better effect Can it have upon mass of hu
mainly who think in splinters and speal
1 through splits? Judas Iscariot, who betraYe
his master for thirty silver pieces. was the frs
q split that we remember 10 have read of; an
e when he got through with his unhandsom
uuSIheSS, nc SPttt OPell WAY HIS uSsCcHudIIs
: and followers at the present day go and
e likewise. -.#
The inhabitants of the South Sea island
have curious way OF catching monkeys
II These little devils, in the shape of humanit
barring their way of carrying themselves
e amuse themselves by initiating anything til;
e mortals do in their presence The natiye
e therefore, get a tough log of some length, an
d begin with wedges of stone and wood 10 spl
e it, AS they progress, they put in larger wedg
e es, until the split is held open By one or tw
u wedges easily Knocked out. They then pl
e their hands in the split, and endeavor, b
n pulling out both sides, to part the log. Dec;
= sionaily one knocks the wedges with the be-
tie. and then all commence at dead pull VI
o on the parts of the log again. When a suti
7. cient number of monkeys have congregatt
II about the tree to make a demonstration, IL
n natives leave the log with the beetle beside
and repair to a neighboring thicket 10 ava
al the result. Soon one monkey drops dow
= and takes hold OF the log, then another, al
u then another, until the split is lined with the
q, black paws from one end to the other. Whe
r this is done, a monkey, not to be outdone
L his part of the performance, seizes the beetl
/ and knocks away at the wedges. which, of
b sudden, fly out, leaving bakers dozen caug
ID in trap as safe as platoon OF cats in a ba
l. Isn't there hallooing then and don't tho