The Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1846-1852, 1849-06-22
Misfellaneons.
DOING A LANDLORD,
Dr.. Ce1lim' the VaIue OM't

Shortly after the completion Of the
Great National Road" through Ohio,
the incident | am about to relate occur.
red. .e eae.s.
There was. in a quiet little village
through which this "Road" passed, no.
tel where the stage always changes, and
the passengers erpected to get breakfast.
The landlord of said hotel was noted for
his "tricks upon travellers" who were
allowed to get fairly seated at the table.
when the driver would blow his horn and
sing out, "Stage ready. gentlemenl"
whereupon the passengers were obliged
to hurry out and take their seats. leaving
scarcely tasted breakfast behind them,
for which, however, they had to fork over
Fifty cents Time and place you have,
ROW for the ho,o our hero succeeded in
getting the UGlne ont.
The hero ! speak Of, was one Of nine
male passengers in stage coach which
was slowly approaching the above village
mentioned, one cold morning in Feb.
ruary,ls3-. "t
"Gentleman." said one ofthe nine, ii
have often travelled this road, and, out
of good feeling to all. / will caution you
against hugging the delusive phantom of
hope, as regards getting break fast at tho
hotel we are approaching"
"Whail-howl No breakfas,r' OK.
claimed the rest. s..-... .s.
Exactly so, gents. and you may as
we'll keep your seats and tin.'
"Don't they expect passengers to
breakfast" e
"Oh yes!they expect you to IL, but moi
to eat ii. am under the impression
that there is an understanding between
the landlord and driver, that. for sundry
and various drinks, etc, the latter starts
before you can scarcely commence eat.
ing" ..e ~ 90.
"Why. wot on airth air yew talkin'
'boutl Eff you calkerlate I'm goin' to
pay four ninepences' fur my breakfuss
and not git Uales ont, you cir mista-
kin'P said voice from the back seat,
the owner of which was one Hezekiah
Spauldiug-though 'tew hun" they cal.
led him "Hes" for short. "l'm goin' tow
git my breakfuss yere. nor not pay nary
red till | dew" 500. e7@l
Then you'll be left" @4a.aA
"Not al yew knows on. | wopt!"
"Well, we'll see" said the other, az
the stage drove mp to tho door, and the
landlord, ready to do the hos2i,able,
says astaa 9a iH -liaij'
breakfast just ready. gents! Take 1
wash, gentsl Here's water. basins, tow
els, and soap" .,'....,.. ......
After performing their ablutions, the,
all proceeded to tho dining room. ant
commenced fierce onslaught upon the
ediblss, though "Hez" took bis time
Scarcely had they tasted their coffee
when they heard the unwelcome sound O
The horn and the driver exclairn, "stag,
ready!' "Up rise eight grumbling pas
sengers, pay their SO cents, and take thei
seats. s rN Isl 5ssS esq sg as II
IAN aboard. gentsl" inquiries tn.
host. ~.
lone missing" said they.
Proceeding to the dining. room h,
finds Hez very cody helping himself I,
an immense piece Of steak. sasr i,sl
You'll be left, sirl Stage is going Il
starl!"
"Wall, haint got nothin' tew say a
gin i'll drawls out Hez. '1s1a 81
"Can't wait, sir, better take you
seat" rat-.. All.
"Dew aCat2" ......-
"Get in sir" ,. ssas.1 ..tBs.F
an be gaul-darned ef dew, nu,her
=. f'till I've got my breakfussl ] paid fur it
and I'm goia to git the Ualee 0ntl aud ei
yew callate amt, yew air mistaken"
So the stage did start, and left ,Hez
who continued bis attack on edibles
Biscuits, coffee, steaks, &C.. &C., disap
ipeared rspilly before the eyes Of the as
tonished landlord. 4s" A'F
"Say, Squire, them there cakes Is boa
Eat .ctch US nuther grist on 'em
You'll TO the wsiter;) 'nuther cup ov the
, coffee. Pass them eggs. Raise yew'r
r own pork, Squire3--ihis mszin'nice ham
{pL.,,e ,,.r., Aria~oki. .haA~~ Co.; -.