The republic. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1849-1853, 1849-11-21
GIeanings from Punch.

AHoTHER TALE OF A TUB.-A young gentleman
(of Trinity College, Dublin,) whose notions Of an
cient history infinitely too Rollin, for they APP
parently have gathered nothing, will insist upon it
that old friend Diogenes no more a cynic
than Lynn, or Quin, Pym, but that his great OBJ
jcct in carrying about tub every where was only
10 sell oysters.
lie maintains that the fact Of Diogenes being an
oysterman sufficiently accounts for his being the
first man on record who "astonshed the natives"
How TO INCREASE RAILWAY TRAFFIc.-All sorts
of speculations-sOmc of them very bad specula-
tions-have been afoat as the cause of the dimi-
mutton of railway traffic throughout the country,
but the most ingenious mode OF increasing II Is
that our own little railway has hit upon At the
recent meeting of this promising little concern, it
stated that the directors had sent three parcels
down their own line by way Of experiment, or more
probably pour e,cotudger les dutres, though the
suit not very encouraging, for II was stated at
the same meeting that only one of the parcels
reached its destination. This mode of increasing
traffic may be applied to the passenger well
the parcel department., for any railway may send
ts clerks and porters take tickets and up and
down the line, by way of giving life 70 the concern
when il seems TO be languishing
The idea is not altogether a novel one, for il IL
only modification Of the principle of the unknown
author who used To order copy of his own work,
and pay for il in order TO promote a sale at the
publishers. The result was, that he, in time had
paid for and got upon his own shelves the entire
impression Of the work with which he had hoped TO
make favorable impression on the public. There
is something truly Tootsian in the notion adopted
by the directors Of our little line, in dcspatching
parcels directed TO themselves by their own line, at
their own expense, for their own satisfaction.
Ma. PRS HIs DIARY.-Friday, October %, lS49.-
To the old House in the Market, where | would
fain have seen Macbeth, for the Acting well
the advertisement; but this not the Night, 80 went
Half Price, and did see the Unpublished Gem in
stead. TouChstonc did play Brother Dick, Coun-
try Clown, and his Figure, in Coat short in the
Waist, a huge Striped Waistcoat, Trousers too big
for him tucked up at the Ankles, Hob-Nsil Boots,
and a great ill-shaped Hat, mighty droll, and did
move the People 10 clap their Hands and laugh the
Moment he came on the Stage. Then did hc take
of his Hat, and show red cropped Head, and
smooth down his Hair, and make a Face upon the
Audience, whereat they did laugh again, and then
turning round show them Back View Of himself,
which made them laugh the more. Still greater
Laughter the Moment be opened his Mouth, and
did laugh too as much as any, though heard not
what lac said but only for the Oddncss Of his Voice.
which is such that methinks ! could not keep my
Countenancc to hear him, even If he were speaking
Hamlet. Mighty droll To him in n fine House
make himself at Home after the Fashion Of
pumpkin, and hear him in his rustical Draw and
Twang relate all the News and Tattlc Of bis Vii
age. What with his clodbopping Gait, and Awk.
wardncss, and Independence, and Impudence, he
did make, methinks, the vcricst Dout I did ever
see, even in Hampshire. His Politcness droller
than his Rudcness, and his PloughbOy Courtesy Of
kissing his Hand comcal as could be. But
know not well whether do more prefer his Cock
MES or his Clowns for methinks ! have seen him
do snob as we'll as a Clodpoe, and he isvcry good
in both, whether n rustical BOBBY a Whipper-
snapper Spark: and do use for w and misuse
drop his II, and talk the Flash and Cant of the
Town mighty natural But 10 think how VIC Eng
sh People do take Delight in every thing that is
ridiculous; and how have seen Theatre ringing
with Merrimcnt at the Sight OF Touchstone in
Paper Cap and Apron, with Bakers Tray, and
Bell crying " Muffns'' or eating with his Mouth
full or even putting his Arms Kimbo, or pulling
his Hat over his Eyes, and some of the Audience,
and myself too, in Fits almost with Laughter Nc.
thinks that Foreigners are wrong 10 suppose that
We melancholy People, and would give up
this Notion If they could see tvs at a broad Farce,
and how easily we are pleased, and what Straws
will tickle US almost TO Death Home, my Sides
aching by Reason Of Touchstone's Drollerics, and
truly no do make mighty excellent roguish Buff
foon. 50 TO Bed mimicking Touchstone his Voice
to my Wife, which did divert her nightly.