The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1849-07-18
q TIME IN OUR BOARDING
HOUSE.
BY RUDDER.

II.
Ours is a most singular boarding
house. Scarcely day passes that the
steward does not break new set of
dishes; an old gentleman prccipatc
himself headlong down steep fight of
stairs; an interesting child swallow q
pin; a lady boardcr's spaniel dash itself
accidentally from the third story win
dow; or, in fact, which does not abound
with a variety of disastrous occurrences
calculated to throw the boardcrs into an
uproar, and to reduce our landlord to
the most distressing state Of anxiety.
One day last week there was calm
the first that had occurred for a
month. We congratulated ourselves
upon the event, and began to entertain
vague hopes that permanent peace was
about to be established; but, alas! the
house is so doomed to accidents, that no
reliable conjecture can be drawn from
present appearances. The very next
day there occurred one Of the most cx
citing incidents that ever drove our
landlord furious, and wound up his
boardcrs into quiutcsscncc Of lncrri-
ment.
| had just returned from one Of VIII
sons rarcst musical lmchcs, most of the
boardcrs had retired to their rooms.
and complete silence rciyncd in the
house. Striking a light, 1 drew my
arm chair near the head Of the bed, and
threw myself upon it III mental state
OF luxurious Incidence, repeating inter
nally, Wilson's Scots wha hac.'
Thus sat for q few moments, when
suddenly [ heard two screams in the
rooms overhead, so loud-so shrill-
they can be compared to nothing, save
the cry of a busy house wife after q
servant in the back yard. Soon Ihcard
two bounds on the floor as if Of rcrsons
Jumping out Of bed, and the cries were
repeated louder and louder in quick
succession. There was no time for con
slderations. My nciyhbors we're cvi-
denHy in a trying dilemma. Scizing
the candle, unboltcd the door and
rushed into the hall. But had been
torestallcd. All the doors of either side
oithc hall were opened, and the inmates
excited to the last degree. Some with
night caps, some with only single
boot on, and one even sporting pair
OF flaming red flannel drawers, were
crowded together in the hall, and hur-
rylnS to the scene Of the catastrophe.
whats the mattcr?' cant say
whose voice is that?' -'ouch! stand of
my corns. Beg pardon such con
founded Squeezing lord! how she
hollers and Oh they rushed, hcltcr,
skeltcr, first from one hall to the other.
then up flight of stairs next to another
ball, and SO on to the scene of excite
mert.
%, my!-hcavcns!!' cried a female
voice, as the foremost of the party
reached the landing. whats all them
men doing hcrc?'
Stand back, gentlemen, stand back
cried one Of the least excited of the
boardcrs-a venerable looking gentle
man, who had on his coat and no pants,
and held his candlc-stick upside down;
get back, if you please, there arc fc-
males hcrc-the helps of the house,
gentlemen-Susan and Margaret
stand back, if you please
sBut what's the mattcr?'
'Who the deuce cares if'
go ahead, if you're going to-
assWe want to Sec
What is it?'
But, gentlemen, resumed the non
excitable speaker. 'rhe females arc
ot.quite-that is to say Susan has, not
hem hem!--l think it's only their
g t'aigfttlslhsngs the girls have on.
lasaat's nothing--ic5's what's the
matter.
81 sWe'll shut our eyes,
Good