davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
l 4 n KEE DECISION,

Sometime between the wears 1912 and
Ia, when considerable animosity existed
between the people in Canada and the
United States, and when some of the Brit.
lsh subjects who were dressed with little
brief authority" looked upon the yankees
as but little better thar brutes-the follow
ing is said to have taken place at the Gus.
tom House at ST. Johns:
Yankee of considerable dimension en-
tered the Office and informed the officer
that he wished TO enter the load and re-.
ceive passport. The officer cast a sarcas.
tic look at him, and said that it was Gus
tomary for people when they entered his
office TO receive passports TO take off their
hats, and requested him to do so immedi-
| ately.
No, thank YER" said the Yankee, 81
| gin four dollars and a half for that hat to
| keep my head and ears warm"
| on lmpertlnent puppy" said the ofli-
| Ger, working himself into considerable of
passion, " how dare you insult me 3! OF
| with your hat Immediately"
" No, stree. can't do it, keeps my head
proper warm"
After several orders of a similar kind
accompanied with curses and threats which
met with no better success, he stepped up
TO him and gave his ha, blow which sent
II to an adjacent corner OF The room. The
Yankee paid no attention 10 this, but
waited patiently until he had received his
passport, folded and safely deposited it
within his wallet, and was ready to pursue
his journey, when, turning 10 the officer,
ne requested him to pick up his hat and
put il on his head.
The officer, who was wro,h, ordered
him to leave the office, or he might get in-
10 trouble-for he did not waste words with
men of his description.
:" say, mister" said the Yankee, " you
must pick up my hat. and that in one min
ute's time, or you shall feel the weight of
these mauls," shaking his fists nearer to
his lordship's face than was agreeable.
The officer raved and swore all TO no
effect, and then threatened to cane him, if
he did not depart.
Mister" SAID the Yankee, "time
passes considerable kinder fast y and at the
same time beginning to unbutton his coat,
sand you had better be going after that
hat"
After several more threats, which had
the desired effect upon his opponent, and
the lime being nearly expired, he sneaked
off for the hat, and offered it to the owner,
but he was not satisfied with that, and or
dered him TO put il on his head, precisely
as he found it. The officer hesitated, but
seeing the determination of the Yankee, he
set it upon his head, and was about to de-
part when he was collared and ordered to
place it as he found it,
Here" said the Yankee, "tuck this
hat under, pull it down more in front, stick
under that left ear" etc., all of which or
ders the officer reluctantly fulfilled. "That,
sir, that's about right" said the Yankee,
land now, my friend, before | leave, I'll
gin you small word of advice-never
meddle with a yankees hat, unless you are
prepared to take Il peep into futurity.-
Good morning, sir
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
IMM0RTALITY OF THE SOUL.
BY ADDISON.

| There is not, in my opinion, more
pleasing and triumphant consideration in
religion than that of The perpetual progress
| ofthe soul towards the perfection of its ma
ture, without ever arriving al period in it,
TO look upon the soul as going on in
strength, TO consider that she is to shine
with new accessions Of glory, and brighten
10 all eternity, that she will be adding vir.
tue 10 virtue, and knowledge TO knowledge,
carries in il something wonderfully agreea-
ble to that ambition which is natural 10 the
mind of man. Nay, it must be prospect
pleasing TO God himself, TO see his creation
forever beautifying in his eyes, and draw
ing nearer to him by greater degrees of re-
sembance.
Methinks this single consideration Of
the progress of finite spirit TO perfec.
ton will be sufficient to extinguish all en-
w in inferior natures, and all contempt in
superior. That cherubm, which now ap.
pears as God to the human soul, knows
very well that the period will come about
in eternity, when the human soul shall be
as perfect as he himself is nay, when she
SiIuIl lOOh NO"u upoA kIldb OCSICS Oi pCL-
fection as much as she now falls short OF
it. 1t is true, the higher nature still ad.
vances, and by that means preserves his
distance and superiority in the scale of be.
ing but he knows that, how high soever
the station is of which he stands possessed
at present, the inferior nature will at length
mount up to it, and shine forth in the same
degree Of glory.
With what astonishment and veneration
may we look into our own, where there are
such hidden stores of virtue and knowledge
such inexhausIed sources of perfection
We know not yet what we shall be, nor
will it enter into the heart of man TO con-
ceive the glory that will be always in re-
serve for him. The soul, considered with
its Creator, is like one of those mathemat
ical lines, that may draw nearer to one an
other, for all eternity, without possibility
Of touching it and can there be a thought
so transporting as to consider ourselves in
these perpetual approaches TO HIM who
is not only the standard Of perfection, but
Of happiness.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
The UltraiSt Coalition.

We have noticed more than once the
extraordinary combination which unites the
Nulifers of the South and the Abolltionists
OF the North in a harmonious agreement
upon the subject of disunion. a contin.
uance in the Union, as it is" say the Nul
ltiers, will ruin US politically and pecu.
narlly, and corrupt US morally" The
Abolitionists chime in with beautiful con.
cord. " We confess" such is their Ian.
guage, that we intend TO irample under
foot the Constitution of this country we
call upon you to do likewise"
1t is kind in these gentlemen, having
such formidable intentions, to give the coun.
try notice Of their designs. We have no
doubt but that they truly depIore the ne
cessily they are under of trampling upon
the Constitution, and would avoid such an
unpleasant extremity if they could do so
consistently with their sense Of solemn OBJ.
legations. The fly sitting upon the ox's
horn was not more distressed at the idea of
his being oppressive TO the OK, apologising
IN the most polite manner for persisling in
such liberty, than are these friends of
man, under the self,imposed persuasion
that they are bound TO dissever the Union
and destroy the Constitution. 4 painful
duty, especially to the tenderhearted
But since The thing must be done, the
sooner the agony is over the better. 1t is
annoying, and TO nervous persons extreme.
ly worrying, to live in the constant appre.
henslon Of great catastrophe as, for in
stance, to go to bed, night after night,
not knowing but that they may wake up
in the morning and find the Union broken
anG the Constitution tIampled under foot.
Willing 10 know the worst, rather than
continue in stale Of deplorabe uncertain.
ty and alarm, we venture TO suggest 10 the
amable philanthro1ists Of the North and
the inhammable fire-eaters of South Caro-
lima, that agreeing as they do in their high
and solemn purpose of destroying the U.
mon. they should meet together in Conven.
ton, and fix upon some system of cooper
alive action, by which their great cause
may be forwarded, and be put in the way
Of a successful consummation. We under
take at once to invite them TO meet in the
city of Baltimore-a central point, easy of
access, and known 10 be hospitable place.
Mr.. Calhoun and Mr.. Garrison might fra
ternize here with loving sympathy, and TO
the great edifcaior of surrounding specta-
tors. There are many convenient struct.
ures in our city where the Convention
might hold its siltings f; but in view of its
great design, and with an eye TO properac-
commodaton, we might mention the top of
the Washington Monument as admirably
adapted to the purpose proposed. The
municipal authorities will probably have
the city clean by the time the Convention
meets, SO that, altogether, the delegates
may expect 10 have very good time.
baltimore American.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

cedars that grow upon the tops of the Him.
maeh mountains in the valley of Josophat,
down to the degraded and baTbarous saw.
ages who repose inobscurity in their mis-
erable wigwams on the rock of Gibra!ter
in the Gulf Of Mexico, aud then you will
be SO much puzzled TO find any thing so
mean, as you would to see the earth re-
volye around the sun once in the twentyfOur
hours without the aid of telescope.
Mistur Speaker, feel that have said
enough on this subject to convince the
most obstinate member Of the unapproacha.
BILE necessity Of law which shall forever
and everlastingly put stop to these fowl
proceedings, and | propose that every con.
victed offender shall suffer the penalty Of
the law as follows:
For the first offence, he shall be obliged
to suck twelve rotten eggs, with no salt
on 'em.
For the second offence, he shall he oblig.
ed to set on twenty rotten eggs, ill he
hatches 'em.
Mlstur Speaker, all | want is for every
member to act on this subject according to
his conscienliousness. Let him do this,
and he will be remembered eyerlastingly
by graceful posterity. Mister Speaker,
I've done. Where's my hat
I he eloquent gentleman, according to
the Boston Posts report, here donned his
seacap, and sat down, apparently much
exhausted.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
T @ r EIGN n E w S.
BY THE STEAMER CAMBRIA.

From the intelligence brought by this
steamer, we select the latest items of news
published in the city papers:
ENGLAND.-There has been no further
debate in Parliament relative to the affairs
of Canada. Lord Clarendon, who had
been on a visit to London, has returned TO
Dublin.
Nothing has transpired to induce the be
lief that the Irish State prisoners, under a
sentence of death, will bs pardoned.
Extreme misery still pervades unhappy
Ireland. Such is the destitution in one
particular district, that corpse recently
washed ashore, was seized and greediy
devoured by the starving inhabitants.
The cholera has made its appearance in
London, and prevails also in many parts
of the country.
FRANcE.-The dissolution of the French
National Assembly took place on the Goth,
and passed over without tumult. The new
Legislative Assembly met for the transac-
tion of business Oh the 26lll, and on the
30lh was the scene of one of the most vio-
lent debates that ever occurred 10 any de-
Lucrative body, The French Expeditions
airy forces are still sncamped outside OF
Rome NJ. Lesseps, the envoy. having TO,
tally failed thus far TO persuade the Ro.
mans to admit the French either as friends
or as enemies.
Upon close analysis of the election, il
appears that about two hundred and ten
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
Speech OF Lot DOOliltle,
On the Bill for the Protection of Hen
ROoStS.


Mistur Speaker-Fve so; here 10 my
seat and heered the opponents of this
great nashunal measure expeXtorate agln
il, till l'm purity nigh bursted with lndig-
nant commotions of my lascerated sensIbIl-
tiles. Mistur Speaker, are 1t possible that
men can be so infatuated as TO vote agIn
this bill Mistur Speaker, allow me to
picture to your axcited and denuded i'm.
aginaton some of the artrending evils
which arise from the want of purtection to
hen roosts, in my vicinity, among my con-
stltuents. Mis,ur Speaker, we will sup
pose it TO be the awful and melancholy
hour of midnight-all nature am hushed IN
repose-the solemn wind softly means
through the waving branches Of the trees,
and nought is keered to break the solemn
choly stiffness, save an occasional grunt
from the hog-pen! | will now carry you
in Imapination to that devoted hen-house.
Behold It's peaceful and happy inmates
gently declining in balmy sIumbers on
their elevated aad majestic roosls Look
a. the aged and venerable and highly re-
spectacle rooster, as he keeps his silent
Vlglls WIN patience anu uhip'' "a'o"
fuIness over those innocent, helpless hens
and pulIets Just lei your eyes glance
around and behold that dignified and mat
ronal hen, who watches with tender sollcl'
tude aud paternal congaulation oil those il'ue
juvenile chickens who crowd around their
respectful progenitor, and nestle under her
circumambient wings.
Now | ask, Mistur Speaker. am there ia
be found wretch so lost and abandoned
as will enter that peaceful and happy a
bode, and tear those interesting little bid
dies from their agonlsed and heart-broken
parentsl Mistur Speaker, l answer IN
thunder tones, there am Are there any.
thing SO mean and sneaking as such rob
beryl No, there are Dot You may
eearch the wide universe, from the natives
who repcse in solitary grandeur and super,
Ia,ige MAJESTY under the shade OF iae saI
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
CDotCe Ertrdct9.
A CHRISTIANS LIFE.

He envied not the pomp and power
OF kings in their triumphant hour,
The deeds that win lofty name,
The songs that give to bards their fame.
He sighed not for the gold that shines
In Guinea's brooks, in Ophir's Mines
He stood not at the festivals
OF mobiles in their gorgeous halls.
He walk'd on earth as wood-streams pass,
Unseen beneath the freshened grass
His were pure thoughts, and humble faith
A blameless life, and tranquil death.
He kept in days of strife and wrath,
The christians straight and narrow path,
But weep thou not-we must not weep
When they who rest in Jesus sleep.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

A MAIDEN LADY's SoLLooUY.-'Tis
wonderous strange, how grea. the change
since | was in my teen then had beau
and blIet-doux, and enjoyed the gayest
scenes. But lovers now have ceased to
vow no way they now contrive to poison,
drown or hang Observation-Disclosures Pm
thirty five. Once, if the night was ere SO
bright, mere abroad could roam, without
- The bliss, the honor, Miss, of seeing
you safe home But now 60, through
rain or snow-fatigued and scarce alive
through all the dark, without spark be.
cause I'm thirty five.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
4ooftrp.
From the Louisville Journal. I
Sc R E MADE,

SERENADE.
Look out upon the night, lady,
I!s sweetest in life's hours;
ne loving moon is kissing now
The little loving flowers
Inc ar goes whispering by, lady,
ana murmurs to each tree
As softly with its perfumed breath
As would fain to thee
Look out upon the night, lady,
Look out on yonder star
1t gazeth on its earthly love
Night after night afar;
Nv love is like that star, lady,
1t burneth bright and fair,
And though a cloud may dim its ray,
1t still burns brightly there
hook out upon the night, lady,
See how the moon awakes
A thousand things to live and love
In all the forest brakes;
Thy love was like the moon, lady,
Ger all it shed its light,
And made my life lovely thing
How beautiful, how bright!
Look out upon the night, lady,
The moon is growing dim;
A mighty storm grows DER the sky,
And hushed is nights low hymns
So dimmed beneath life's cloud, lady,
The light of love to me
And like yon moon, so fed the hope,
The hope had in thee!
Look out upon the night, lady,
See how thy loves decay
Has spread a shadow DER my heart
My light has passed away
Do'st see yon dark abyss, lady,
So full Of shadows strange,
Where light showed many q lovely form
Fen such is my hearts change
Look out upon the night, lady,
For love alone It's meet
It's magic and its loyeliness,
Alas! like il are fleet
The dew-drops on the grass, lady,
Beneath the glare of noon,
Leave not fainter trace behind,
Nor pass one-half so soon!
Columbus, (.Niss.) March, l849. R''+'.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

A man was boasting about his know
ledge of the world when, wag IN cohPa
ny asked him if he had ever been III h'ge'
bra. al cannot exactly tell" SAID ne,
"butI think once passed it on the coach -
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

The last resource TO raise the wind is
that of a shrewd and unscrupulous yankee,
who bought bushel of shoe pegs and on
discovering they we're made of rotten wood
sharpened the other end and sold them for
oats
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

A barristcr observed to learned bro
ther IN court short time since, that the
wearing of whiskers was unprofessional.
Right, replied the friend, "a lawyer cannot
be too barefdced.'
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

A TEsT.-"Tom, stand out of the way Of
that gentleman.
How do you know he is gentleman -
because he has got on strip ped trousers"
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

SATISFACTORY DEFINITIoN.-A little girl
asked her sister, what was chaos, that
papa read about 2" The elder sister re-
piled, why it is great pile of nothing,
and no place to put it,
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

RELIGo MHDIcI.-At a parish examlna-
lion, a clergyman asked charity boy
if he had ever been baptized.
"No, sir" was the reply "no. as
knows of, but Eve been wdTtndfed.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

A "single man" advertising for EN-.
ployment, maiden lady wrote to inform
him that if he could find nothing to do he
might come and marry her. He did so,
and touched twenty thousand pounds.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

SNORING" My uncle P--was an
awful snorer. He could be heard further
than a bIacksmith's forge, but my aunt be-
came so accustomed to it that 1t sooihed
her repose. They were a very domestic
couple, and never slept apart for many
years. Al length my uncle was required
to attend a court, at some hundred miles
distant. The first night after his depar-
ture my aunt never slept wink ; she mis-
sed the snoring. The second night passed
away in the same manner, without sleep.
She was getting into very bad way, and
would possibly have died had it not been
for the ingenuity of a servant girl she
took the coffee mill into my aunts cham
ber, AID ground her to sleep at once.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

George Selwin once affirmed in compa.
nv that no woman ever wrote letter with
out postscript. My next letter shall re-
fute you,' said lady c.. Selwin socn
after received a letter from her ladyship,
when, after her signature, stood-'P. S.
Who was right now, you or | 2
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

"IF you say another crooked word I'll
knock your brains ou!," said a blacksmith
to his termagant wife. Rams horns,
if [ die for it -
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

Love YOUR ENEMIEs.-A clergyman
told an Indian he should love his enemies.
:" do" said the latter, A" for love rum
and cider"
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

THE LANE THAT HAS no TURNING.-Q.
What lane DO the ladies like best 10 walk
in
A. Mouseline de laine.
@. What lane do the ladies like best TO
walk OUT of?
A. MAIDEN LANE.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

"An honest mans word is as good as
his bond," is a trito maxim. So is a
rogue's n nine cases out of ten.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
What Are You Looking For?

A man was angry with his wife, as was
often the case, either because she talked
too much or contradicted him, or for some
other reason in short he was out Of humor
with her, and resolved not to speak single
word to her for long, long time. He
kept his resolution for few days very
strictly.
One evening ne is lying in bed, and wish.
es 10 sleep; he draws his night.cap over
his ears, and his wife may say what she
will, he hears nothing of it.
The wife then takes a candle, and car
rIes it into every hole and corner she re
moves stools, and chairs and tables, and
looks carefully behind them. The hus.
band sits up in bed, and gazes inquiringy
at her movements he thinks that the din
must have an end at last.
Bat he is mistaken. His wife keeps on
looking and searching. The husband loses
patience and cries
What are you looking for ?"
For your tongue,," she answers, land
now that | have found it, tell me why you
are angry %
Hereupon they become good friends
again.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23
Vol XXXS.-WhOlc No. 1897,
Rates Of Advertising.

mos. 800 riages, &c. Sl2
Communications recommending persons for
Office, must be paid in advance at the rate of
% cents per square.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1849-06-23

POETICAL.-ln a city well known to
every body, DC they can find outthe name,)
d poetical genius was hauled before a ma
gistrate for kissing glrl and kicking up a
dust, and the following dialogue ensued:
Magistrate-ls your name John Jay?
PIisoner-Yes, your honor, so The peo-
pie say.
Magistrate-Was it you that kissed the
girl and raised the alarm
Prisoner-Yes, your honor, but thought
1t was no harm.
Magisirate-Yo rascal did you come
here to make rhymes?
Prisoner-No, your honor, but ii will
happen sometimes.
Magrstrate-Be of, you scamp, get out
Of my sight.
Prisoner-Thauk'ee, your honor, then
III bid you good night.
The daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1848-1851, 1849-02-09
rCorrespondence of Swoo,,s En;opr..r n

Correspondence of Sweets Epicurean Bullstiul
~: Editor While ascending the Mississippi some
the c%mander excellent vessel related The following
n you think Of place in The Epcuean Buetin
MEMPHIS, Tenn, Sept. a. 1s4s
In Coles county, there lived a man named Isaac
DodsOn, and his wife, who were both firm believers
in the prophecy of Father Miller; and not doubling
for moment the correctness of their PROPHETS cal.
culations, they set about making active prepare.
tons for the eventu day that was to terminate the
existence of all subunary things. After having
'set their house in order" the following CONVERSE
ton took place:
Husband-My dear wife, believe have made
every preparation for Tomorrow | have forgiven
all my enemies, and prayed for the forgiveness of
all mYsins, and feel perfectly calm and resigned.
WYe-Well, husband, believe l am ready for
the sound Of The trumpet
Husband-Pm rejoiced TO hear it. But, my dear
wife, have no doubt there are many little don,es-
TIC secrets which have been kept hidden from each
other, which, had they been known at the time of
their occurrence, might have produced unpleasant
feelings, but as we have but one day more to live,
let us unboson ourselves freely TO each other.
hUe-We, husband, you right there are
some Rtile things that never told YOU and which
| intended should remain between me and my God
but as we have but one day left reckon it's right
to make clean breast to each other. / am ready;
You begin, husband.
Hnsband-No, dear, you begin.
Wte-No, husband, you begin-I can't
Hus6and-NO; you know, my love, Paul says
husbands have right to command their wives. 1t
Is your duty a Christian woman to obey your
husband, and the father of your children So be-
GIN love.
Wite-In the sight of God | reckon it's right so,
will tell you dear husband our eldest son, Will
liam, IS not your child
Husbdna-Great God Mary never dreamed
Of your being untrue to me- is that so,
WIFE lin tears)-Yes, God forgive me, it is true.
| Know that did very wrong, and am sorry for it
but in evil hour FELL and there's no help for it
now.
DECENTRALIZATION not mine, In the name of
God. mhose child is he?
Wtc-IIe's Mr.. Graham's the constable The
Lord be near your poor wife
Husband-So, William amt my child Go on.
H1e-Well, our daughter Mary, named after
me, amt yours neither.
HuSband-SaiUation Talk on, Mary-come
right out. Who's Mary's father!
WJe-Mr. Order, the man that built the meet
ing house, and went TO the lower country.
Husband (resignedly) as there is but one
day more, I'll bear it; so, go on, If you have any
thing else.
Wi}e-Well, there's our youngest
Husband-I suppose Jenny amt mine?
Wte-No, dear husband, Jenny, that both
love well, amt your n neither.
Husband-Mercifm Lord, Is that so In the
name of the Saviour, whose is he?
WJe-He is the one-eyed shoe makers, that lives
at the forks of the road
Husband-Well. by Heavens Gabriel, blow
your horn! ] WANT TO GO NOW!