The Minnesota pioneer. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn. Territory) 1849-1855, 1849-12-19
The Right kind of an Agent.
HOW TO OBTAIN SUBSCRIBERS

1
cal travelling agent-cne John D
fellow OF infinite tact in his business
and ordinarily one of the merriest, hap
piest, best natured bipeds We ever me
with. John had way of obtaining sub,
scrlbers, howe yer, peculiarly his own;
and his success was proyerbial. If he
undertook to get mans name and sub
scription money, he got it-there was nc
lodging the issue, where he had resolved
upon the thing.
John was large, powerful man, stand
ing six feet three, in socks--and he fear
ed nothing, in the performance of his du-
ty; at times when a resort to the tricks
of his trade was necessary, he was ev-
er at home, and his mimicry, smiling
countenance, and capital address, al
ways made him scores of friends, almost
at first sight. But John occasionally en-
countered tough customer.
You call that a paper:' exclaimed a
rough, big-isted fellow, derisively, one
morning in q coffee house where John
was canyassing.
Wen, | do, said John, quietly.
%, get out!' responded the bully.
:And you must subscribe, too-ccme, =
'Not's you knows on, continued the
other, sneeringly. It's "a huinbugn
What's a humbugi'
That paper o yourn.
Come, now, my fine fellow, that
won't do, added our agent, not little
piqued.-Iie always stood straight up
forth paper. THAT kind o. talkiug
amt just the thing, my friend, contin-
ucd John, for there were several per-
sons present.
Il say it's a hum, pcrsistedthe fellow ;
'an' your an other.
As the stranger got off this last re-
mark, he approached the canvasser in
stantly, and offered some unmistokable
demonstrations Of belligerent charac-
ter.
John measured his customer mo-
ment as he advanced, and drawing back
he very cody knocked the insolcnt fell
low down.-Then grasping the rowdy
by the throat
Is my paper humbug:' asked John
'Ies-cuss your pictur!'
lit iseh:' continued the agent, bring
ing the fellow rap on the side of the
sconcc, which astonished him immense
il, it isis it; and again he cuffed him
vigorously and then again and again.
until the bully began to believe he had
commenced operations upon the wrong
individual,
is my paper hum
'N-n---no!' shrieked the fellow, at
last. s..f
What kind of a paper is it,
i dun, nO--
'Ycs you do said John, raising his
huge mawler over the others head, in a
threatening attitude, and grinning a
ghastly smile, Fyes you do
Wal, le' up, said the victim.
III let you up, when you answer me-
Il tell you dun no.
Il say you do responded John, and
again he raised his fearful fist, and
showed gliStcning teeth.
'Y-ye--yesH shouted the sufferer
What kind of paper is it, then'
Tell me, or Ill smash every bone in
your ugly skin
It's a---a--its ID
Quick
It's a goo-good--fuss rate, one,
Now, le' me up.'
Not till you subscribe, old fellow
Il WON'T
You WON'T exclaimed John, looking
daggers at the PROSTATE hero, while
grating his teeth like mad catamount-
and thrashed him violently upon the
floor, once more.
Il will!
For a year, asked the agent.
No
What them
'Slx--six months
'That'll be two dollars, said John !;
fork over the tin, there's no trust in this
trade
lie me up, 1 say
Not till you've paid your subscrip-
ton
wal, git offer mel!
Ihere,' SAID JOhn-whO was natur-
ally very ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS at the
same moment he turned so that his Sub
scriber' could get his hand into his peck
ct. The latter actually drew forth his
purse, counted out two dollars in silver,
and the agent released him!
John took his address, wrotea receipt,
and then invited his new made friend 20
take a drink The other, nothing 10th,
joined him at once, for fear of giving
further offence.
Then getting up his specimen papers
and other fixins, our canvasser turned to-
ward his new subscriber, and with a
bland smile of good nature remarked
Il think you'll like my paper, friend.
fYes-yes, responded the other.
Its capital paper.
Yes, said the subsciber.
AN you'll recommend it to your
friends!'
yes, added the victim.
Its good paper
Yes
Good day, sir.
Yes continued the patron, abstract
edly as the canyasser depared-'but II