Washington telegraph., 1849-05-23
HOW TO GET A GOOD DINNER.

=
From recent biography of that mad
wag," Theodore Hook, We take the fol-
lowing amusing account of one of his
practical jokes:
Lounging up one of the fashionable
streets III the afternoon, with Terry the
actor, tile nostrils of the promenaders
were suddenly saluted with concord of
sweet odors arising from spacious arena
They stopped. snuffed the grateful
incense. and peeping down. perceived
through the kitchen window prepara-
tions for handsome dinner, evidently on
the point Of being served.
"What a feast" said Terry Jolly dogs.
l should like To make one of them
I'm take any bet," returned Hook,
"that d. Call for me here at ten o.
clock, and you will find that shall be
able to give tolerable account of the
worthy gentleman champagne aud veni-
son. SO saying, he marched up the steps, 4
and gave an authoritative rap with th$
knocker, and was quickly lost to tho
sight of his astonished companion. AS 4
matter of course he was Immediately ush->
cred by the servants as an expected guest,
into the drawing room, where laqee
party had already assembled. The apa{tA
ment being well-nigh full, no notice was)
at first taken of his intrusion, and a half
a-dezen people were laughing at his BON
motS before the host discovered the mis-.
take. Affecting not to observe the visi-
bic embarrassment of the latter, and in
genlously avoiding any opportunity for
explanation. Hook ratified on till he had
attracted the greater part OF the company
in a circle around him, and some conside-
rable time elapsed ere the old gentleman
was able 10 catch the attention of the
agreeable stranger
81 beg your pardon. SIR" he said, con-
irving at last to get i'll word; "but your
name slr-l did not quite catch it-ser-
wants are SO abominably incorrect-and I
am really a little at loss"
Don't apologize, l beg" graciousy
replied Theodore; "Smith.-my name is
Smith; and as you justly observe, servants
are always making some stupid blunder
or another. | remem =. ID remarkable
instance, &c.
"But really, my dear sir" continued
the host. at the termination of the story
Illustrative OF stupidity of servants; II
think the mistake on the present occasion
does not originate in the source you al.
lude to; certainly did not anticipate the.
pleasure of MIR. Smiths company at dim
uer to-day
"No l dare say not-you said four in
your note, know. and it is now, see, a
quarter past tve-you are a little fast by
the way; but the fact Is, | have been de-
tanned i'll the city-as l was about to ex-
plain Which,"
Pray" exclaimed the other, as soon as
he could stay the volubility of his guest.
''whom, may ask, do you suppose you
are addressing"
Whom? Why Mr. Thompson of course
old friend of my father. | have not
the pleasure, indeed, of being personally
known TO you, but having received your
kind invitation yesterday, on my arrival
from Liverpool Fifth street-four o.
clock-family party-come III boots-you
see have taken you al your word. / am
only afraid | have kept you waiting"
No, no. not at all. But permit me to
observe, my dear sir, my name is not ex-
actly Thompson, it is Jones. and"
Jones" repeated the Soi-distant Smith,
i'll admirably assumed CONSERVATION;
"Jones--why surely cannot have-yes
| Inust-good heavens. ] see it all. My
dear sir, what an unfortunate blunder--
W rong house--what must you think of
such an intrusion! l am really at a loss
for words in which to apologize. you will
permit me to retire at present, and to-
morrow"
pray, don't think of retiring" exclaim-
ed the hospitable old gentleman; "your
friends table must have been cleared
long ago, if, as you say, four was the hour
named, and | am only too happy 10 be
able to offer you seat at mine"
Hook, of course, could not hear of
such thing-could not think of trespass-
ing upon the kindness OF perfect stran-
ger; if too late for Thompson, there were
plenty OF chop houses at hand; the unfor.
tunate part of the business was, he had
made All appointment with gentleman
to call at ten o'clock. The good natured
Jones, however, positively refused TO al
low SO entertaining visitor 10 withdraw
dinneress; Mrs. Jones joined in solicita-
tions, the Misses Jones smiled bewitch-
ingly; ard at last Mr. Smith, who soon
recovered from his confusion, was pre-
vailed upon to offer his arm to one of the
ladies, and take his place at the well fur
niShed board"
in all probability, the family of Jones
never passed such all evening before
Hook naturally exerted himself TO the Ut
most to keep the party in an unceasing
roar of laughter, and make good the first
impression. The mirth grew fast and