The Middlebury galaxy. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1848-1850, 1849-01-02
PICKINGS FROM THE TABLE OF
THE KNICKERBOCKER.

THE HEATHER AND PIE PUBLICAN
There is a good deal of character in an an
ecdote Just related 10 US Of san heather man
and publican in a down eastern region.
A party, ofyoung men were 'making merry
in an upper room," when the landlord came
upand said :-"Genllemen. wish you would
make a little less noise here, for there is a
man below, who is very sick"
"Sence like peultice came
To heal the wounded ear"
of the sick man for awhile, but presently, the
frolicking was resumed. The landlord came
up, and said :-"Gentlemen, | wish you'd
make leetle less racket; the man down
stairs is dying" All was now still when
all at once the door was opened, and Boni-
face popped his head in 10 say :-"Go ahead
now, gentlemen make as much noise asyou
like, the man is deadr'
STAGE MALICE We have heard ola re-
vengeful trick played upon q theatrical star,
by a subordinate brother actor whom he had
offended by his overbearing manner at re-
hearsal, which strikes US as well worth re-
cOrding. The star was shining brightly in
Hamlet, and The other was 'refieciing' him
in Guildrnstern. In the scene which intro
duces The players Hamlet, il will be remem-
bered, twill you play upon this pipe 2
-"My lord, | cannot" replies Guiidenstern'
Il pray you" urges Hamlet. believe me.
cannot" again protests Guildenstern. 81
do bcseech you," implores Hamlet. AT this
point. 10 the horror of Hamlet, AMI the utter
aIaZemeht Of the audience, Guidenslern.
instead ofrespondingro Hamiefs continuous
entreaiy, 81 know no touch Of il, my lord,'
took the flute and said well, since you're
so-pressing, I'll try 10 play you leete tune :;
but you'll be disnppointed-lkhow you will"
and so saying, he put the pipe 10 his mouth,
and gave the audience, who by this time
smoked him, slight touch Of Yankee
Doodlep As Yellowpush would say, 'Phan-
say Hamlick's leelinksp
KNOTS IN THE CoMMsSDMENTs.-'I wish
you 10 make for the church," said an EpiscO-
pal ves'ryman, one morning, to a carpenter
in neighboring village, 1.-TWO new COM
mandment boards.-We want them Of free
sound timber, with no knots in it," You'd
better take some Of the 'nots' out of The COM
mandments, them" replied The corpenrer; "a
never saw commandment board yet thar
wasn't full Of cml"
AN IMPOSSIBLE TmNG.-s'A. W." contin-
ues the same correspondent, sis an nveter-
ute joker, and always ready for fun. Hap
pening one day 10 be IN town when, a Meth
odist camp-meeiing was being held, he en-
tered one of the tents and took n seat direct
Iy under the preacher, where he sat. looking
very devotional and attentive. The minis
ter. whose mouth stretched nearly from ear
TO ear, was very earnest in his exhOrtations
for awhile, and then descended from the Pul
pit 10 see what effect h,s discourse had had
upon his hearers. VS. devou'
air, he approached him. "My friend" said
he, are you Christian p "N-n-no sir, a"
said he, for he had an impe6iment in his
speech. "Would you not like TO be T. con-
tinued the minister. "Y-y-yes, ifi-i-ii were
p-p-possibIe.' "But all things are possible
with God. my dear friend. "No-no, they
amt" "Why, my dear friend, what cannot
God do ?"-"Why," said W, che can't
m-m-make your m-mourh any @-wider. with
out s-s-setting your ears b-back!"
A Poor ENDoRsER.-"A worthy but poor
minister" writes friend from the country
requested few Gays since the loan of fifty
dollars from the cashier of our bank ; and in
the note requesting hatfavor, he said that il
the cashier would oblige him, he would pay
him in ten days, on the faith Of Abraham
The cashier returned word, shat by the
rules of the bank the ehdorser Of a note must
reside in the state !"