Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1849-03-22

though highly improper, and even viola
ton of law in man, is justifiable in wo-
man, owing to a natural curiosity of the
sex.
A waggish correspondent of some of the
papers has turned off the following respec-
ting the office holders at Washington:
awe are told by Sterne, the saddest sound,
Which ever ear of mortal heard,
Was when the poor imprisoned bird
Looked on the free air all around
And cried, in plaintive, pteous shout
81 can't get out can't get out"
But here one hears a sadder strain,
far more melancholy song,
For as they pace the streets along,
Those fattened at the crib excaim,
pTis plain.enough beyond all doubt,)
They'll turn us out-They'll turn us out"
Epitaphs in Scottish country church,
yard:-
"Wha' lies here ?
Johnny Dow
Hoo, Johnny, is that you ?
Aye, but am dead now"
In the church yard in Storrington-
Here lies the body of Edward Hyde,
We laid him here because he died.
We had rather
1t had been his father;
fit had been his sister,
Few would have missed her,
But since tits honest Ned.
No more shall be said
" wonder what makes my eyes so weak"
said loafer to gentleman. "Why, they
are in weak place." replied the latter.
A young lawyer having been asked by
Judge, whether in the TRANSPORTATION of
souls, he would prefer be turned into horse
or an asst" An ass" replied the lawyer.
"Why?" said the Judge. because I've
heard of an ass being judge, but never
horse"
Doctors will differ. No, they will not al
ways-in the Propriety of bleeding, (as APP
piled to the pockets of their patients) "fore
George their unanimity is wonderful
A Dry Reoinder.-" How Louis Napo-
II,
and you'd thirst too, friend Stubs, if you
had been as long confined to Ham as he
was"
The following is the true copy of letter
received by a schoolmaster near Montrose-
Cur as you are a man of nolegs, ] in
tend to inter my son into your skull l am,
yours, &c"
A boy asked DR.. Burgess, the preacher,
if he would have light. Ono child" said
the doctor, 81 am one of the lights of the
world, myself" II wish them" said the
boy, "you was hung up the end of our alley
for it is very dsrk one"
SunShine.--If you want the milk of hui
man kindness thickened into cream the of
benevolence, or the cream of benevolence
transferred into the butter of beautitude all
you have to do is to fly round and do
good. As Dobbs very justly sayS, there is
more sunshine, in one act of kindness, than
in all July.
ADvERTIsNG-A matchmaker in Mem.
phis named Merriam, and merry fellow he
seems to be too, thus advertises his bust
ness
"PICKED UP"-Some of my German
: friends are great wags; one of my adver.
tisements closes with this sentence-"Any
kind of work that you can get nobody else to
do, Just take it to Merram's. A respecta-
BILE Dutch gentleman brought favoritc dog
to me few days since, he wash not peer
satisfied nit his tail, he licksh for me to
give him twist-to vat you call curl him. y
gently referred him to the barber's. "He
wash try de parper and several peoples
f they no be able to fix him l vosh peen say
in der papers, | can fix any ting most a,
vas, so he peen come here" l told him
never interfered with the work of nature
but if he had watch out of order, should
be happy to fix it IN the best possible man
ner, and in the shortest possible time. ale
was not mighty well understand, but he
supposed he must dry some CIDER place"
MERRIAM, Matchmaker.
Some ingenious rhymer has placed the fol
lowing sayings in poetic order, the opposites il
juxtaposition:
AS wet as ish-as dry as a bone;
: AS live as bird--as dead as stone;
AS plump as patridge--as poor as a rat;
AS strong as horse.-as weak as cat;
) AS hard as a fiint--as soft as a mole;
AS white as a lily-as black as a coal:
AS plain as apikestaff-as rough as bear;
As tight as drum-as free as the air;
) AS heavy as lead-as light as feather;
l AS steady as time-uncertain as weather;
AS hot as an oven-as cold as frog;
: AS gay as lark-as sick as a dog;
AS slow as tortoise-as swift as the wind;
As true as the gospel-as false as mankind
As thin as hcring--as fatas pig;
AS proud as peacock--as blue as a grig;
AS savage as tigers-as mild as dove;
t As stiff as poker-as limp as a glove;
/ AS blind as bat--as deaf as a post;