The North-Carolina standard., 1849-08-22
Rs FROM THE HEROIC AGE. ;
THE GRAND ToER.

and north of Southern Massachusetts; and bounded on
the east by the and on the west ny the iano %
the north by Cape Ann and the south by Cape God,
and is a great place for notions and fish"
"oh ! ah now I know all about it.
+ Mrs. IrinlbLe's Conversations.
When Queen Ann, assisted by the Great Duke OF
Marlborough visited hcfloya subjects at their hearth.
stones and ruraliBcd IN the runct distnctS Q! ORG
,honGh not so oery ,nerrg England, the people forget
MANY fher faults in gazing upon her far
and in nbehoding the gltcrng gcwgawS OF her court
ly train. ~ !, ... A. ,;ccvn,s of
Franco and England upon tho field of the cloth OF
d At an earlier period, tckled the national vanity
Of both Mr.. Bull and Mr.. Johnny Chlckencock, ana
pleased the eyes of the taXridden millions VINO were
permitted to behold the gorgeous army of scrofua'
diamonds dust, and daPery that passed alons l" TIC
shape of g the nobihiy."
The Second Washington. reposing upon has iaureiS'
and tired of hearing the cabinet sqnabbe about the
appointment ofiaborersand messengers on the grouno
floor of the Republic, has determined to t0Ke shuI d
of nure air with the god-ke man by his ee-Pot and
" ekickervn in the neighborhood Of romantic Marsh
field, where the grasshopPer sings in the dusty salt
meadow. and the gray gull screams mourntully to
the everlasting of the breakers
We understand that the Hero is bound to eastern
Massachusetts, Il is true, he will pass through
Pittsburg and Buffalo, where my lord Fillmore llves'
first and will enter the old Bay State in the county
of Berkshire the westernmost point OF Massachusetts,
but will only Uisit Eastern MassGchksetts. inose;
all along shore, before he gets to flymouth rocK'
NAV lust consider that he has passed along incden-
tay bound elsewhere, and with no intention OF vis-
iting them.
communication addressed to us, sealed with green
wax and brought by special messenger In the shape
ofa yheaded patriot from ourPlantaono OF Louis
iana.''
HEADQUARTERS, EXECUTIVE CHAMBER,
Eight Bells, Midnight, August 9, 1649.
DEAR HERoIc AGE Having ordered fast, which
we kept with one eye open upon bacon and coH0rdS'
with little 81 cent whskey, we have determined 70
make grand tour after the manner or our lustrious
predecessors, and damn the expense.
Having made our trusty and well-beloved servant
Jacob Collamer, who applied for a bureau and got
department and who is therefore ours unto the death,
be sworn interpreter on this northern tour we
have determined to G6dcae temporarily from the chair
of Washington, and leave illustrlous friend and
most patronising servant Thomas Ewing to sit in
our place, sign our name, and exercise our powers
of grace and mercy possessed by US during our Said
abdicatlon.
Knowing your love for Thomas, and fearing his
ambition which is terrible growing thing, we have
deemed it be duty to request you to spill his
wind occasionally and if you can shiver his mizen
once or twice day, to do so In our name, and TOR
the benefit as Cicero says, of I" E. Flurrybus Uni
CON- and the rest of the revolutionary worthless 1t
is solemn thing to travel in great country with
short legs and long srrps upon horse not htted TO
our constitutional parts. We have therefore, taken
along with u.s. keeping his tail, usual for fear of
accidents, done up in curl papers, and trusting our
fate as we have done to luck, Heaven, and the uni
versal whig party. "Qui tam ctGnl onintbusbuque,
which being interpreted, means " Damn all the ON
nbuses, and look well to your breeching."
Should Clayton, who still keeps the lnteligencer
as his special organ Notwithstanding have made
tho Republic, far the bnding is concerned, our
organ kick in the and take the studs he is
very apt to do when we are away, you will admins
TORT him fourn nf tho Mills which enclose
you, marked No. l, 4" confidential medicine" The
box rs one of set used by our bue-light friend Tru
man, during his sickness here last year f; which re-
duced him in size and increased his per diem; and
il is quack medicine, why if 1t IS too much for
him, it will be all right; for the law says,
eundum artem excissioris exalto +. u. a., which I
being interpreted, means, ''he who kills another ac-
cordng to law. raises soul to Heaven nnocently in
j very short ime." Should, however, his disease /
show bat slight symptoms, and his appetite remain
good, perhaps the milk toddy diet will be sufficient,
with occasionally little motherwort for drench.
As we intend to paddle in lake Erie, we have sent
butterield along as courier, to prepare the way for
and answer all questions that the people put to
rs during the tour in that quarter. mean to have
the 'brown-chee-us (bronchitis) while absent;
and this, with the spring in our tongue, and other
natural inrntes we think will be sufficient for
apology in keeping silent before the people. Those,
therefore, who ask US questions, may consider them
selves answered beforehand and if they want any
thing further, they must look to Butterheld and Col
amer; for "when we go eating we GO catting,"
Ind nothing else. Should the Canadian authorities
lsk any questions about roeity and recprocitu,"
we shall refer them to Cayton-the potato rot being
he only thing that We care knowing anything about
IN Europe. Should anything go wrong while are
absent you will despatch our beloved friend and rusty
messenger Mud to us, with your jack-knife; but be
'ure and Eot write anything, for have determined
10 read nothing while we are gone. But this means
We shall get rid of Father Rtchie's comments upon
'ur course, which trouble US some when we read
hem, especially when We have made t'fox pass"
And now, dear Heroic Age, don't make fool of
IS during our absence. We said when we were
dominated for the chair of Washington, that were
hot fit for it, and ought not to have it, but the peo.
'le thought strangely upon the subject, and put US
% keep sticking straws in our sore eyes and putting
1orax on our ulcers even for good.
In conclusion, we desire you TO look after your
Durham cow. She is put upon her own resources,
Ind may make improper intmacies with the cabinet
Turing our absence. As that body is not immortal,
md may be tumbled out neck and heels before we
etuTn, we cannot think of having old crumbie ruined
y the e0leute or troubled by having dilemma hung
N either Of her horns. Trusting therefore to Prov-
ience and the American people, clad in black broad
10th OF the finest quality, and, armed with the con-
'tltution Of tho United States and the Presidents
Manual, by Fitz Henry Warren, with guide book
n which the names OF stopping-places pT0rounc-
ID as well as peh shall depart inspect our nor
hern provinces, and eat cod fish not an hour old.
"Oh! what amazing joys we feel, -s
Who wander with heavy heel.' II
But We are getting poetical, and therefore deem it
o be time to bring our Pegasus to dead halt and
sturn to the of Boreas or Morfas or some 9TH
II ass, who presided over sleep, and grated poppy
uice Tor living IN the green hours of old antiquity
Yours, by the grace of God.
ZACHARY WASHINGTON.
Had the limited States a haraId or h.d ,ra . -, f