Rutland County herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1848-1850, 1849-04-18
Life INSURANCE:
OR, THE REASON why MIR sAM'L POPKlN
COULDN'T GET A POLICY.

COULDN'T GET A POLICY
Samuel Popkio Esq was bachelor. -
Dir Popkim was well enough of in the world
AS the phrase gocs-but Mr. p had two
maiden sisters Of an uncertain age " who
feared that their du'iluI and afIectionato
brother might pop Of suddenly some fine
day, and leave them minus; for though he
enjoyed a very handsome income from his
profession as book keeper for the house of
Makepcnny & Cot would avail the
maiden ladies nothing after his death{ and
they urged upon him to apply for q Life
Assurance, to be made over to them in case
Of accident, oud 50 he attended to their
joint request forthwith
MIR PUpkin was growing fat That is
people Of ordinary minds would say So
but his sisters didn't like gross phrases
and so they said he was only getting port.
ly." BE this as it may, however, Mr.. p.
was very thick aud very short IN stature
aud when wedding down State street TO.
wards tho scene Of his daily business, he
very much rcsemblcd an upright diminu-
tive gn-plpe, locomoted by brace of ten
pins His eye was small, aud round-and
when excited, appeared very like a black
glass bead, half buried in a fresh oyster.
His checks were like two bouncing Baldwin
apples, and the distance between his fat
chin and his chest was so bricf-taking into
The account n constant habit be had of
Wheeling when over excited. that it seom-
cd doubtful whether there was any room
there for a windppc Mr.. Popkiu always
breathed " through bis nose "
But Mr Popkin had examined the adj
yertiscmcnt and circulars Of the Mutual
Prop en.up Association and having baggcd
a comfortable dinner (Nr. = never ate any
others } be sailed forth to wait upon the
agent FOR the purpose of applying for life
insurance. The door Of the agent was ii.
rectly adjoining that OF = brokers' Office.
and mistaking the entrance, Mr. Popkin
entered the latter, whore two or three Of
the bhoys. clerks to the broker were as
sembled, an hour after dinner. with no bust
ness upon their hands, and ripe for little
fun
Mr. Popkin made known the object Of
his call in his customary bland and artcss
manner, when the eldest Of the trio winkcd
at his companions and informed the appi-
cant that they were ready to wait upon bin
After turning The fat gentleman round scye-
raj times, until his head swan like a TOP
the foremost OF the rascals suddenly iammcl
his hat down over his eyes aud begged him
to be seated; which request Mr. Popkin
was about to comply with, very qreatfully
when the chair was dextcrously withdrawn
from behind him and no came to the floor
40 contact with an earthcn spittoon which
CHANGED 10 be near him the conclusion caus-
ing sensation which be declared one Of
the most ext 'onerry' be ever experienced
in the whole course Of his life
But il seemed purely an accident, and
Mr. Popkiu with one hand raised his hat
from over his nose. and applied the other
vigorously To- the location Of the thump be
received in his fall In a moment after. he
he had got to nights" and drawing up
the chair, submitted to be questioned
Name residence, and occupation? ~ said
his iuteuogator
Popk'n, sir; Samuel Popkin, Esq, Ben
son street., accountant"
Where horn :"
United States. said Mr.. Popkin
" United States, echoed the questiouer,
turning grayely to one OF his compan'ons-
"he's Native American VIII that dor
Tho other nodded his head seriously and
Mr. Pupkin began to fad the room very
warm.
Age, Mr. PopPin p
Pop-KIS. il you please, sir %
Vol -your age MIR Popkin'
Forty -i0ur'
Married p
No bless your soul No. sir said
Mr. j vehemenlly
H" Ever had lhe small poI. Mr. Poppin p
Never Popk,n, II you please. 81"
added tbe applicant
" Ever had any affection Of the bear, e.
No, sif NJ samnel POpkin Is baeas-
los"
Have ga eysr met vllh ans serious
E;dcntT'