Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1849-12-14

time enjoy rare luxury. So after bar
gaining awhile and beating the old woman
down in her price some three or four
cents, he bought three Holsters, some Bos-
ton crackers and returned to the ship.
Meanwhile, one of the passengers, a
wag of the very first order, having been
up TO the city returned on board, and
perceiving the Yankee atthe head of the
bow spirit, seated on his hair trunk, go
ing into his bargain tooth and nail. 1t
was greedy spectacle! He wrenched
the claws of the lobster apart with un-
necessary strength, drawing them close
down to the sockets which held them.
Such smashing and crashing was nev-
er heard before. Carelessly sauntering
within hearing, the waggish passenger
gave the captain wink and remarked:
"This is a horrible business captain.
"What's horrible business!" asked the
skipper.
"liain't you heard the news! All the
papers are full of it Some Jersey fish.
ing smacks have taken Holsters on the
copperas banks off Barnegat, and have
sold them all over the city. Every per-
son who has eaten any of them has been
poisoned. Fifly-three have died since
morning, there is a tremendous excite
ment about it. As came down, | saw
an officer arrest the old woman who
keeps stand at the head of the slip, for
selling some of the same lobsters.".
The Yankee, who had already devour.
ed one and part Of another, paused here,
as If suddenly paralyzed, then dropped
the fragment which he held, with the
untouched lobst er, tn the water, his
mouth filled with crackers ard lobster,
his face pallid with horror, he exclaimed.
"Oh golly. What shall l do! I'm
sartinly dead man! Darn York! Cuss
the Holsters! wish had staid to hum.
Oh, my bowels, my bowels!'
"lf that greenhorn hasn't been eating
some of them! Run for DOCTOR ex.
claimed the captain.
Some one started ashore for a physi-
can. In the meantime, the Yankee be-
gan to groan and lament, attracting a
large crowd of spectators by his cries.
"Oh, Suke, if | had only took your
advice an kept clear of this tarnel York
City! I'm .dyin'--I know / am! MY
mouth tastes like rust cent! The doc
tor will charge an H.fred price to green!
that's the cop-per-as! shall die be-
fore the doctor gets here! Murder! muir.
der murder!"
Some one personating physician
now made his appearance, felt the pa
tents pulse, examined his tongue, ant
pronounced clear case of poisoning
from eating copperas lobsters! He pre-.
scribed powerful emetic--which was
Immediately administered in the form o
a quart of luke warm water, which soor
caused a throwing up of notions.
The effect was powerful beyond ex
plaDation. 1t produced great and pro
digious paroxysm, that kept him in {
continual shudder, for more than an hour
during which case seemed very doubt
full. He kept girding his stomach will
his two hands, squeezing his visceta, ant
bowling down as the contending force.
raked his inner man. In the pauses o
his pains, he uttered sundry exclama
lions, such as:
''Oh Suke! Darn Holsters! Cuss York
Oh, my bowels! If ever get to TO hun
again! l shall die! Parson Dulittle-.
ugh-If l hadn't neglected-ugh--you
preachin'!' &c.-to the great edificatiol
and amusement of the bystanders.
AT length the Doctor pronounced hin
free from danger and convalescent. Thu
next thing was the payment of the fee.
which he was informed was five dollars
He then groaned in spirit, and hi
bowels yearned worse than ever, at tn
thought of parting with such large sun
of money! There was no help for il
however, SO he forked over the ''V,'
shouldered his hair trunk, and went OF
his way growling-Cuss York city!-
Cuss that Doctor!-Cuss them durn't
cop-per-as lobsters--Ugh!!"
That evening, the captain, the was
and the pesudo physician luxuriated a
Florenc's on lobster salad and 'strim
mings!' for which the Yankees alive
stood exchequer.
l. ~.