The Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1846-1852, 1849-08-24
Darious Alatters.
Farmer 'I'hOrOw.

towns III LnaL Otale. Inc ONCE was lu-
crative one in some places, though it was
generally made opprobrious, and the
most obnoxious individual in the commu-
nifty were usually selected to fill the post
Farmer Thorow resided in small
town above Nashua, and prided himself
upon the neatness ofhis cattle, the clean
illness ofhis fields, the symmetry Of his
fences and the thriftiness of his orchards
but Farmer T. was nervous man,
penurious and close fsted.
Waking early one morning, he discov-
cred on a sudden, from his chamber win
dow, that four large hogs had broken into
nice young orchard uf his, Just below
the house, aud in his usual exciteable
manner, he hurried on his clothes, and
made the best his way down to Squire
Looksharp. (the hog reeve was called
Squire. whom he very quickly aroused,
with his voiCferous complaint.
Now. Squire he said hurry up.
There's four O. my neighbours hogs got
into my little apple orchard, and ifyou'll
hurry, it'll be good job for you; they're
TAT ones ana no mistake.
BE right straight along said the
Squire. who remembered the details Of
the law relating to this sort of seizure
one halfto hog reeve, and the other half
TO the poor of the town--and within half
an hour he had peaceable possession of
four animals such as the neighborhood
couldn't otherwise boast0
The seized hogs were quickly slaugh-
tered by the town official. aud werc hung
upto dry in 'Squire's storehouse. Far
mer 7. righted up his broken fence, and
then repaired to his yard to see that all
was snug in the pig-pen; he had no
idea that his hogs should trouble his
neighbors--not he-when 10! he found
that board had been forced from the
side of the enclosure, and the sty was
empty
In the meantime. Squire Looksharp
had the seized hogs dressed and now
sent for his good wife, who appeared at
the storehouse door.
Betty said the Squire, the statoot
peryides in case of seizure. that one baff
the pigs shall 60 to the official. and the
other haff to the poor. Now, Betty,
who's poorer than yow arel'
Sure enough said the 'Squire's wife
obediently, sure enough! if anybody's
poorer'n | am id like to hear about it,
Well cal'late. An therefore,
one hatf fthese pigs goes to the poor, CHATS
you) and the other haff as said 'afore,
goes to the ofiicer-an' that's me! and the
four hogs very soon found their way into
Squire Looksharp's Pork barrels
An hour afterwards, farmer Thorow
arrived at the 'Sguire's, sprang over the
style, into the house through the back
kitchen, out again into the yard, where
he encountered the Squire quietly a,
work.
"Isay Squirrel! e..
'Hello!'
What are you doin!'
'Baut whatl' ..-.
Where's the pigsl'
Distributed 'cording to law
'WhatP
'Halfto hog reeve. halfto the poor
They're miae!' shouted Farmer T..
haIfcrazed at his loss. They're mine
'Squire--broke oat o my pen."-
You made the complaint yourself
Il know but
AN it's too late, farmor; the proper
ty's duly divided-can't go behind the
statoots.'
The farmer squirmed, and threatened
to be revenged on somebody at the fins
opportunity; but seeing his mistake, a
length returned home, and from that da,
forward had no occasion for similar les
son. He never afterwards complained
ofhis neighbors hogs,-American Union
COLLEGE CoLLooUY.-A class whic|
graduated not thousand years ago, EN-
braced among lis members one Tom Ell
lott, an iucorrigible wag, but who wa
not noted for any particular and pointe'
attention to his studies. Mathematic
was particular object Of Toms disre
gard, and this caused him an occasions
jeU desprit with the dry Professor {
Comics. On one occasion, the Professo
during the recitation, asked Tom 20 eS
plain the method of ascertaining The hol
rizontal paraIlax Of the sun. Tom re
piled:
II don't know how"
But" said the Professor, "suppos
you were appointed by the governmer
to ascertain it, what would you dol'
"I'd resign!" gravely responded Ton
amid the convulsive laughter of the clas
and even the Professor actually perpetr'
ed a grin. -
gA man tout West" (of course
could not be any where else, was urge
by his friends to run for some petty tow
ship Office. They would take no excu'
from him. Atlast wrought up to a fit
desperation, he exclaimed, "My friend
sure as you do lect me, III adjourn Il
next minute arter I'm sworn in,"-(
course, after this, his constituents we
resigned to their fate.
FATHER MArHEw's SEAL.-The pl
vate seal Of the Rev, Thoobald Mathe
represents a fountain bursting from
rock. with the following motto:
'Drink from the bubbling fountain, drink Il fr
Twas good for Sampson aud It's good for the