The Middlebury galaxy. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1848-1850, 1849-02-06
THE MAN WHO RODE THE GOAT

In quiet village in the sober State OF
Connecticut. fourishes prosperous Divis-
ion of the Sons of Temperance. Much
has been said about It's mysteries, and
many quizzical story has been told in
relation to the curious antics Of a certain
goat, said to be connected Herewith.
II is said that in this quiet village resides,
among others, a cute Yankee Of remark
ably curious and ingenious turn of mind,
whom from his resemblance to the Pry
family, we shall name Paul.
Now Paul took it into his-busy noddle,
TO enter the gates of the order, without
riding the goat. He therefore looked
around among mankind for 'green" son
of temperance-and having fixed his mind
upon victim, he started in pursuit and
found his man. After exercising his pump
ing ingenuity in manner too tedious to
mention, he found himself on the road
home, tickled to pieces with the idea of
being in full possession of that mysterious
word which would unlock the Division
door, and put him in possession of " open
sesame.
In the meantime, Paurs design was
communicated to few waggish members
of the Division, and appropriate arrange
ments were made for his reception.
Meeting night came, and after the
brethren had pretty generally assembled,
the o. S. heard strange noise at the
door, like unto the bleaing of a certain
animal familiarly called Billy. The o. S.
true TO his instructions, opened the door
ajar.
"Bah !" said Paul.
&" Bah bah bah " returned the 0. S.
and open flew the door.
Paul walked in and took his seat among
the initiated. The sham business pro-
ceeded for while as though nothing had
happened.
Worthy Patriarch" at length said a
member, in a solemn manner, the man
who last entered having neglected TO turn
the usual somerset and light upon his big
toe, ii is very evident to my mind that he
has not been initiated. / therefore move
that we put him through.
" Second the motion
"I guess I'd better retire, said Paul,
rising and evidently uneasy.
" Any one who gets in here must go
through" said blacksmith, who stood
six feet without his boots. $50 Just be
quiet, till we get the goat ready"
The door was fastened, and all hope of
escape was cut off. Paul trembled. The
blacksmith opened closet and pulled out
sack. Paul turned white.
"Prepare the victim 3" said the W. P.
Paul sprahg to his feet and begged for
mercy" but no mercy there was known
He was hustled into the sack in spite of all
the resistance he could make. The goat
happened 10 be out of sorts that night and
so an old wheelbarrow was substituted.
Paul was tumbled about the room-frst
backwards and then forwards-over sticks
of wood-down stairs and up stairs.
"Bah " said the blacksmith, stopping
to blow.
"Please let me OUT" pleaded Paul.
Cant yet-haint reached the Falls of
Niagara-must put you through the show
err bath !" Paul wiped away the perspi-
ration.
Creak, creak, went the wbeelbarrow
round the room again. At Paul's earnest
solicitation the shower bath was omitted.
He declared it would give him terrible
cold.
Having been otherwise put through,
Paul was liberated, terrified man. He
started for lawyer for vengeance. But
the lawyer told him he had better say moth
ing about it-and he finally concluded not
to.
1t so happened that where Paul worked,
a number of girls were employed. One
dav he entered the ladies' Department.
That morning an Irish girl had been adj
mitted TO the establishment, and the mis-
chievous imps among the girls haG wraps
ped her in a piece of canvass, and were
wheeling her about the floor.
"What are you doing?" asked Paul.
Biddy's riding the goat, " archly said
the ringleader.
Paul bolted
"The man who rode the goat" is well
known in the vilage-and is often pointed
out by the little boys. We rather guess
the next time Paul wants to enter secret
society, he will 90 in the front way.