The Arkansas banner., 1849-08-28
tFr@a ths ws.l.lnx,on ualoA.
SPLITS.

SPLITS. eff it isa't the dsvn, split .''Lueiui O frisSv I "FoF he coald ssFef and divide
 I A hair 'twixi aorth aad nesshwess slds,
 And aeIl whst difference there bA'
 'Twixt iwedle dun and tweedle dee.''
 1 HsSi6rss.
 "Patriek, you are an iil-lOOkisg ehid.T
 s.Arrsh and co an; but wlsea was boy l was beauty. but the narse who had charge of ne changed me in the cradle for weaEer,s brat. aad that accounts Cor my ugly mug. '-- faosssssu. 1 whsa party is divided upoa the merits Of two radicals who desire equally to serve ;hsir eeanify for dollars per day their aud ess5Ey' good, t ss not snusuaI for a third candidates sor; of iscs pendent sixin-an antl ultra individual, to step ia and bear of the gIories of the election This is cal cd getting in by split; and this inaividual, against whom nothing could be said, is apt to be found one In whose faver nothing can be said after Il is too ste to Ganend the record We hate all splits; and, as Mrs, Partiugton justly observed, the nsn who trusts to them is apl to find himself in nip when the pinching time arrives The whig party, who were represented by mixed multitude st the slaughter house in Philadelphia. took split eandi- date as compromise, aud run him "nelus vclns, as General Taylor elassicaiiy observed to Col. May \ at the battle of Palo Alto.
 When great party is in the '.death thfaW,'' as the present Clayton republican party is now it is apt to present some most curious splits and frac- i tnres to the eyes of the beholdar. Consistency. propriety, and even good oId hoHesty-,hess have ! some wonderful cracks in their tender P!aces and virtue even is found to have the whole rim knock { ed off Der croekery.
 There havs been splits in inc church splits in the statc splits in families, and n family utensis also. And we have yet to hear of tue frst congregation, body polite, household gathering. or article, that was the better for such violence.
 l Ifit requires brute force, with beetle aud wedges ! of iron. to part asunder a common billet os wood, 1 how much more power must it require 10 split great party, founded upon sense, 10 pieces2 And if it only renders the billet Of wood better kindling stuff for speedy fire in the first ids,auee. what better effect 1t have upon Issass of hu- manty who think in splinters and speak through splits1 Judas Iscariot who betrayed his master for thirty silver pieces, the first split that we re- member to have read of; and when he gnt through with his uniIanasoms business, he split open. May his descendanis and followers of the present day go and do likewise.
 { The inhabitants of the South Sea islands have a curious way of catching monkeys. These little de- vils, in the shape of humanity-bariag their way oi carving themseives-amuse themselves by intat- ing anything that mortas do in their presence The natives, therefore, get tough log Of wood of some lsugth, and begin with wedges of stone and wood to split it. As they progress, thsy put in larger wedges, until the split is held Opea by or two easily knocked out They then put their hands iu the split, and endeavor, by pulling out both sides, to part the log Occasionally one knocks the wedges with the beetle, and then ali cOtnmence at dead pull upon the parts of the log again. When suf- ! ficient namber of monkeys have congregated about the tree to make demonstration, the natives leave the log with the beetle beside it, and repair 10 a neiyhboring thicket to await the result. Soon one monkey drops down and takes hold of the log, she another, and then another, until the split is lined with their black paws from one end to the other When this is done, monkey, not to be ousdone in his part of the performance, sezss the beetle, and knocks away at the wedges, which, of a sudden. fly out, leaving bakers dozen caught in trap safe as platoon of cats in bag Isa't there halioOing them and don't those ioag-taiIed individuals con slider themselves taken in about that time. Can' they chatter then, and cry piteously for heip And don't they, when relieved, have sovereign coatempt for splits even uBto the day of thei dea,hl Well, we consider the democrats, who sup ported Zachary Washington, for the benefit of th' whig party, as In the predicameat of the monkeys with their paws ia the cleft log; and if they don denoance their leaders and teachers hereafter, i will be because they have less sense than the req monkeys, and better claim to.
 A jacket of green, wi;h brooches of blue, And hole just behind for the tail to come through.
 The clique of Georgetown, notwithstanding is glorious commencement. has of late been split nl like aih-bosrd in piasteriag time, The appoint lnsnt of T northern VuginIan To the navy agency in preference 10 worthy maa whO felt sure oi get ting the otfee-hrst, on account of 'nsrit; 2!, o account of position; and B. account oI possfir promise from Zachary Washingtoa--has had macs 10 do with the matter; ani the turning out of th collector of customs, and the appointment et 'b
 
 climax The great i,npottlug merchant of George town. who has lately had br,g 10 arrisc from Pope with green turtles boaTd has sent of the fat tes; Of the fellows to the Second W ashng,oa, as token of bis continued love for ..the heroic age, notwithstanding he has disappointed hi'n in ever! particular and denied his reasonable request to hay the old collector coniinged iu his place spli ticket L this instance prevailed; and the uPsho the matter IS that the mayor of Georgetown has gc an office. The importing mesehant-~ghe, Ay thi way, Is sterling msn--hss "got his gun of.' ant Zachary has got green turtle. Ii Monsieur Hsa dsbert were only here 10 make the green anima into soup for the cabinet everything would be eom plete; but, as It canno, be, things must be ieft i their unfinished state to take care oi themselves.
 The omission on the part of Georgetown Colieg to make the Second Washington an IL b has mad