Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1849-05-31
sTRoUDsBURG MONROE COUNTY Pa THURSDAY MAY 81 ls4s
Doctors Bills.

Doctors Bills.
The folly Of dabblng in medicines is very
pleasantly hit off in the following humorous
piece:
"Abon. four years ago was happily marri-
ed 10 very pruden, lady, and being Of The same
disposition myself we made very pruden,
couple. Some time after our marriage my wife
told me iha, doctors bills were very high, and
as we could not always expect 10 be free from
disease, she though, il best 10 purchase some
doctors books, 'and thus said she with smile,
'we can steal their trade at once This | a.
at end all auctions OF books, in order TO buy
medical books al the lowest rate. In fne, in
less than twelve months had bought cou-
pie of 'Dispensalories, 'Buchan's Family Ply.
sician,' two or Iree treaties on the arl of pre-
serving health, by different authors seven
trealises on the diseases ofchildren, and divers
Others Of the greatest note. My wife spen, all
the lime she could spare from the economy Of
her household in studying them, and as soon
as my store was shu, up in the evening, ed
ifed myself with few receipts from my Dis
pensalory.
As soon as spring arrived my dear wife
informed me tha, she found i. positively en-
joined by some Of our writer's that we must
swallow large dose of cream of tartar and
birthstone, TO be taken every evening for three
weeks, IN moasses; this the whole family COM
piled with first myself, who. being the head
of the family, reckon first; my wife, my
brother Dick, who lives with me. my son and
my daughter, my negro boy, and the servant,
maid. This cure we all went through to the
entire satisfaction of my wife, who had the
pleasure 10 find her medicine had the desired
/ effect.
"Soon after this the contagIon Of reading
medical books spread through all my family,
and scarce day passed bu, some of them made
use of some medicine or other. My poor broth
or Dick, afies he had permission to read my
books, had acquired a detected counlenance,
the cause Of which could no. conceive. Al
las, he broke silence 'Bro,her,' said he, (sup-
posing that had read more than himself feel
my pulse think | have 100 much blood had
no, better &c. bled you know that if 100
much blood gets into the head i, produces apo
plexy the symptoms OF its appearance. says
/ Buchan, are remarkable redness in the face
and you see that is exactly the case with me.
| could not bu, laugh at him he was indeed
red in The face, but such redness as indicated
the very offspring Of health. Our maid, from
an education a, country school, had learned
to read; she earnestly requested her mistress
10 lend her doctor book TO read on Sunday
afternoon. This reasonable reques, was gran
ted but, poor creature being not of the fair.
es. complexion in the world, she in little
while became quite low spirited, and finding
my wife and me alone one evening she came
in, and ven,ured to express herself thus LA
! I Il crI hoif
the yellow jaunders, as begin TO look yellow
10 the face Decency prevented my smiling
for awhile, bu, when she had left the room
could not bu, enjoy laugh My negro boy j:
always eating roasted onions for cold. but a.
he canno, read, he has luckily escaped every
other disorder. One nigh, as we were about
gong to bed my wife desired me in the mos
serious manner .ha, If she should ever be ia
ken with a locked jaw tha. / should rub heT
Jaw with musk, as she was convinced, from
comparing the argumen, Of a variety of authors
lha, this was The bes. remedy. told her there
was no danger of such an event, as had DR.
CuIlen's word for it ,ha. il seldom attacked fe
males indeed. am convinced that a lock Javed
LADY is rara 'apis in terris.
Hitherto our family medicines were used
with confidence and satisfaction on all sides
ill considered one day that our family, with
out a doctor, had consumed more medicine ir
one year than my fathers family used TO dc
with the advice Of physician in six years
But one day when my wife told me she thought
i, would be we'll to weigh our food before we
cal il, lest we should eat TOO much or 10 little
and that Sancuorious advised it for good reas-
ons, I got such disgust TO our scheme that
resolved gradually to abandon il. am now
convinced Of the truth of saying or rational
medical writer, 'one or more things must hap
pen TO every human body--to live temPeraiely
To use exercise, 10 take physic, OF be sick. =
And am pretty certain ,ha, If and my fami.
ly perseyere in The two former courses, we need
moi be in danger of the TWO last"
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