The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1849-10-24
A GOOD STORY.

Old Col. W. formerly well known
character in one Of our Eastern cities. wa,
remarkable tor but one passion out Of the
ordinary range Of humanity, and that was
for buying any lot of old lrumpery which
came under the head Of cellaneous,' for
the reason that it could not be classified
Though close-fsted in general, he was con-
tinually throwing away his money in f;ves
and tens on such trash. In this way he had
filled all the old corners in his dwelling and
outhouses with a collection of nondescript
articles that would have puzzled phioso.
pher to tell what they were made for, or to
what use they could be put. This, howcy
er, was secondary consideration with the
Colonel, for he seldom troubled his head A.
bout such articles after they We're fairly
housed. Not so with his wife, however
who vas continually demonstrating against
the se purchases which served only to clint.
ter up tho honee, and as food for the mi.th
OF Tho domestics. But the Colonel, though
he often submitted to those remonstrances
#of his better half could not resist the pas-
sion; and SO he went on adding from wock
TO week 70 his miscelanies.
One duy while sanntering down the
street, be hesrd the rich full tones Of tn,
sauctioneer, and Of course stepped in to SEQ
what asbeing sold. Onthe floor he per-
ceived q collection which looked as if il
might have been purlpined from the parret
of some museum, and around which a mote
ly gfoup were assembled; while on the
counter stood tho portfy auctioneer, in the
height Of mock indignation remonstrance
with his audiences.
Nine dollars and ninety cents!' cried
the auctioneer. sGentlemen, it is shame.
it is barbarous to stand by and permit such
a sacrifice of property! Nine dollars ard
ninety-Good morning Colonel! A mag
nlficent lot Northumberland all going
for nine dollars and ninety cents. Gentle
men, you'll never see another such lot;
and all golng--going-going for nine dol
lars and ninety cents. Col. W., can
YOU permit such a sacr:fice?'
The Colonel glanced his eye over the lot,
and then with nod and wink, assured
him he could not. The next instant the
hammer came down, and the purchase was
his at ten dollars. As the articles were to
be paid for and removed immediately, the
Colonel lost no time in getting cart, and
having seen every thing packed up and on
their way to the house, he proceeded to his
own store, chuckling within himself that
now, at least. he had made bargain as
which even his wife could not grumble.
In due time the Colonel was seated at
the dinner table, when lifting his eyes he
observed cloud on his wife's brow. WELL.
my dear!' said he inquiringly. So
'We,l, repeated his wife: it is not we'll.
Mr.. W, am vexed beyond endurance.
You know c., the auctioneer!'
Certainly replied the Colonel. and
very gentlemanly person he is, too
You may think So rejoined his wife,
but don't, and I'll tell you why. few
days ago gathered together al tho trum-
rery with which you have been cluttering
the house for the last twelve months. and
sent it to him, with orders to sell the lot
Immediately to the highest bidder for cash.
He assured me he would do so in q II this
week at farthest. and pay over the proceeds
to my order. And here have been co.,
graduating myself on two things; first on
having got rid of most intolerable nuis-
sance; and secondly, on receiving money
enough therefor to purchase that new VEL.
vet hat YOU promised me so long ago. And
now what do you think! This morning, a.
bout an hour ago, The whole load came back,
.oithout a ,oord Of erplanation!' .aa.ass, .
The Colonel looked blank for moment,
and then proceeded to clear up the mystery.
But tho good woman was prcifed only by
the promise ola ten dollar note beside that
in the hands ofthe auctioneer, on condition
however, that she should never mention it.
Of course she kept her word. ..,.-
A soldier on sentry duty at an encamp.
ment, stabbed dog with his bayonet, who
was set on him by some boys. The own
err came up, and was much vexed 10 SEQ
his cur lifeless. "Wby couldn't you have
struck him with the butt Of your guna"
said he. .
$50 should,'' replied the sentry, "if
~ ,Jo,, rod ruy, a ,,,e tail foremost s