Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1849-12-25
Grand BanOnet to the Potato.

! Oy lew leaullS IllelHDClo vi tIlc fCSCtd
| bic Kingdom to offer banquet to the
worthy End convalescent root on his hap
Ply recovery. The arrangements for the
dinner were on a scale Of great liberality
and the guests included all the principal
vegetables. The invitations had been car
ried out by an efficient corps of Scarle
Runners, and the Onion occupied the
chair. He was supported on his right by
the head of the Asparagus family, while
Salad occupied bowl at the other end
of a table, and was dressed in his usual
manner. The Potato, though just out Of
his bed, was looking remarkably well, and
wore his jacket, there being nothing tc
mark his recent illness, except perhaps q
little apparent blackness round his eyes
After the cloth had been removed.
The Onion got up to propose as toast,
" the Potato, their much respected guest.
Immense cheering.) He, the Onion, had
known the Potato from infancy; and,
though they had not always been associa-
ted in life, they had frequently met at the
same table. They had sometimes braved
together the same broils, and had found
themselves often together in such stew
Che alluded to the Irish stew as has
brought them, for the time being, into an
alliance of the very closest kind. He,
the Onion, was delighted to see the Po-
tato once more restored to his place in So
ciety, for he, the Onion, could say, with
out fattery, that society had endeavGred to
supply the place of the Potato in vain
Hear, hear.) They had heard of Rice
having been suggested to take the place OF
his honorable friend, but the suggestion
was really ridiculous. Ris,tm teneatis,
amici, was all that he, the Onion, had to
say to that. loud laughter, in which all
but the Melon joined.) He, the Onion,
would not detain them longer, but would
conclude by proposing health, long life,
and prosperity to the Potato.
The toast was received with enthusl-
asm by all but the cucumber, whose coo''
ness seemed to excite much disgust among
his brother vegetables. The Onion had,
in fact, affected many Of those present to
tears, and the Celery, who sat next to the
Horseradish, hung down his head in an
agony of sensibility. When the cheer
ing had partially subsidized, the Potato rose
but that was only signal for renewed en-
thusiasm; and it was some minutes before
silence was restored. At length the Pc
tato proceeded nearly as follows:
"Friends and fellow-vegetables, 1t is
with difficulty | express the feeling will
which have come here to-day. Having
suffered for the last three or four years
from a grievons disease, which seemed tc
threaten me with total dissolution. it i:
with intense satisfaction find myself once
more among you in the vigor of health
(Cheers.) should be indeed insensiblt
to kindness were | to forget the anxious
inquiries that have been made as TO tht
state of my health by those who have heIt
me in esteem. and sometimes in a steam
"a laugh, in which all but the Melon join
ed.l cannot boast of long life of an
cestors. | did not, like some of you, come
in with the COnqueror, but came IN TIT
train of civilization, amidst the memora
bic luggage of Sir Walter Raleigh, IN com
pany with my right honorable friend TIT
Tobacco, who is notnow present, but wh'
often helps the philosopher. to take bird S
eve view of some Of the finest subjects
for reflection. Immense cheering, and
nod of assent from the Turnip Top. !
Though | may be foreigner, may just
ly say that l have taken root in the soil
and, though l may not have the grace o
the cucumber, who seems to have CONF
here in no enviable frame Cloud cheering,
/ | believe have done as much good a
any living vegetable ; for, though almos
always at the rich mans table, | am sci
dom absent from the poor mans humbi
board. Tremendous applause.) But,
continued the potato, "let me not ge
flowerv, or mealy-mouthed, for there /
something Objectionable in the extreme
have undergone many vicissitudes IN tn
course of my existence. | have beel
served up, ay, and served out "a smile) il
all sorts of ways. Ihave been roasted b,
some; l have been heated by others; an
l have had my jacket rudely torn off m,
back by many who knew not the treat
Iment | deserved. But this meeting, m,
friends, rcpays me for all. Excuse me
my eyes are watery. (Sensation.) Lar
not very thin-skinned; but | feel deePl
penetrated by your kindness this day"
The Potato resumed his seat amid tn
most tumultuous cheering, which Taste
for a considerable time.
GETTING Down IN THE WORLD
~ said Mrs. Bounce to her husband
!" these times amt as they was when yo