Wisconsin herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1846-1849, 1849-02-10
A Squirting Jury.

Once upon n time, there dwelt in tho
town of -, a remarkable odiity, in tho
person of an attorney at law, who although
not fair to look upon, Oor he was IN truth
one of the homeliest specimens of humanity
ever beheld by mortal man, was withal a
person of sound judgment, and great benev-
olence, but a Joker who would make you
laugh and you couldn't help it. Ii so hap
pened that this gentleman was appointed
| High Sheriff of his county. lie was n
man of fortune, and had "A kind heart, rs
many poor prisoner could testify, who
partook of the good cheer with which the
prisoners. were literally supplied at Christ
mas and other well known festivals, from
the private purse Of the High Sheriff.
| Il was of course the duty OF the High
Sheriff 10 summon q grant and Petit Jury,
10 attend at Court. la the performance of
this official duty in the suminoning the Pc
tit Jury, our High Sheriff INDUCED in some
of the strongest aud drollcst freaks that
have probably ever been heard of IN any
other town or country In the first place
he summoned for the October Court, jury
consisting Of twelve of the latest of men
he could find in the borough, and when
they came TO the bool. 10 be sworn, it appear
cd that only nine jurors could sit com
Iloriably in the box. After great deal of
sweating, squeezing and scolding, the pam
e was literally damned into the box, and
when sealed they presented 10 the eye Of
the Court, the barritser and the audience,
" the tghiest fit Of jury that was ever
seen in any court room. Literally they be-
came, much to the amusement of the court
and its robed advocates ga packed Jury,"
and no mistake
For tfe January term, our facetIous High
Sheriff in consequence it was said OF some
hint from the Recorder that there should
be no more fat panels summoned TO this
Court went into the opposite extreme. lie
summoned twelve of the teanest and fullest
men he could find in the borough and
when they took their seats in the box, 1t APP
peared comparatively empty-tbere was in-
deed room enough for twelve more OF the
same sort and dimensions.
But the browning joke Of the waggsh
functionnyy occurred nj the summoniug Of
his fourth and last Jury, at the Summer
Session, IN July. For that term of the
Court, the High Sheriff not having the fear
of Judges before his eyes, actually sum
moncd squirting jury twelve as queer
looking bipeds as ever took their seats in
jury box--a Jury that was probably more
looked at aud laughed at than any of the
appointed twelve that ever were sworn, to
. well and truly try and true deiiycrance
lake 1stween the Soyereig. People and
the prisoner at the bar"
But the scene was so irresistibly droll
that even the Judges on the bench could
not maintain their gravity. The lawyers
laughed, while even the poor prisoners in
the dock, who were to be put upon their
trial, could not refrain from joining the gen.
eral cachnnationl Aud when the learned
Judge commanded the High Sheriff TO bring
the court room 70 order, and intimated that
the latter ought to be ashamed of him
self for summoning such jury, the drollery
Of this court scene was heightened consid-
erably by the quick, ready and sonorous
response of the High Sheriff, who, looking