The Democratic pioneer. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1845-1853, 1849-05-25
From the New York Spirit of the Times
The patent Rag Chewer.

iU a village not a hundred miles from
this place. there is established a paper,
mill which attracts DO email share of at
tention from the curious aad eiicits many
visit, as all are of course anxious to
see the process Of coovertiug old rags in
to paper 1t sometimes happens that
those crowds Of admirers of the paryeI
lons, contain among their numbers some
Of those real matter Of that kind Of fel.
lowe, who like something of cause as we'll
as effect, which may be illustrated by the
following dialogne:--
'Isay, stranger, how do yon get 'em ere
rags fne enough for making paper?
we have men employed to chew them,
sir, replied the paper man.
'To what! to chew them did you sayn
sYes, to chew them, to be sure-did you
never hear of chewing rags to make pas
per''
No, never did; aud would like to
know what wages you give, ease I've got
a little the best set OF teeth you ever did
see,' said the green 'un, grinning, gnash~
ing at the same time, in the way Of exhi-
bitinn, with fury that made the testing
proprieto tor quake lest the joke should turn
on him in the shape OF a personal CON
bat.
4 see, l see, replied he of the piper.
mill, stepping back i never saw a bet.
ter sc tt of teeth fer business. Well, we
give experienced hands ST. 80 per day,
and new beginners we give $l-do you
think You would like the business. sir?'
Yes STREE, and the ages too!' replied
the other with delight.
Very we'll, sir you may set now for
month. and at the expiration of that, no
doubt will raise J DIR wages. Here, you
may commence on this'-handing a sad-
die blanket to his much delighted appli.
cant, who took it, and sat down ia his
task with as much sang .froid as an epi
cure would to we'll roasted piece Of
beef.
Il say. old pard, do you think that 'ar
h1enke, will stand me any Of nv time at
all! Whv, | could chew it all to smash
M and swallow it before you could tell
me what time tie sun sets by Elton's Al
manac.'
lIe SGT to work like juvenile steam
engine, his heavy teeth grinding as they
were mill stones, the dust flying. bnt des-
peratelv intent on earning gool living
wages though the labor was exceedingly
! bad living. With the voracity of a Ban
| gal tiger aud spirit worthy Of a better
sauce, the nartyr to the progress of sci
ence continued his task, wondering be-
yond expression in his own mind. how
many hands, or rather how many setts o'
uarpa,ion big MILL Fut It was IN vain
that the heavv jaws wagged end the sharp
teeth crushed, the pile OF chewed rags
did not seem to grow very fast, and to add
to the machines feelings of rising indig.
nation, a crowd began to gather around to
wi tness the singular spectacle ofa human
opposition to The rag breakers, shaking
the whole building from another apart
ment.
what in tsrnatson are YOU gapin' ate
at last exclaimed the rag chewer through
n mouthfl Of rags in state of masica
tion-'Drat ye, thar is Fifty rag splitin
mschines like me up stairs, all id a
bnnch-&Ly don't you 60 up and see
them!'
The crowd looked very much delighted
and expressed themselves very highly
pleased with his performance.
.Tknow can't go it like them fellows
up stairs, for my grinders amt used to il
yei, besides, / don't believe horse blank
cts is good TO start on; but | tell you,
strangers, whe n ii comes 10 vit,les or To-
baker, I'm thar
The fun began to rise, and with it the
rag chewer's Indignation. See here,
stranger be beloved, splitting out his
last attempt. and hsllooed to his employ
er, who had just appeared-'blAmed to
blamenstion, if I'm goin' to sit here 10 be
laughed at In this ere wa5-if you don't
put me up stairs among the rest of 'em. ]
Won't chew up another blanket. darned if
do!'
sWba;!' exclaimed the employer, with
a sober face and very indignantly, SIS
that ell you have got chewed up! Aud wet
too; why man! Get out of this-you'll
never do for this business in the world -
There's a blanket ruined TO all eternity.
too, for you'se wet every mouthful, and
how can We make dry paper out Of wei
rsgsl Come, move yourself 10 hurry
The victim did not wait second in
sifatiou. but went IF Iu all speed. for fear
he should be called upon to pay for III.
blanket. fully determined hereafter to
stick to his lawful business, aud let darn.
I'd paper mills alone.