Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1849-10-13
A CHOICE EXTRACT.

VIII the young reader endure for a mo-
ment few grave hints on a subject which
is too frequently placed beyond the pale of
reasoning; by some parties thought too sa-
cred, by others too trihing, by all unsuita-
BILE for the exercise of the reasoning pow
ers! And consequently that which forms
at one time or another in the experience of
every human being large portion of the
! business OF human lfe-that which-above
every other tendency, impulse, or passion,
decides their destiny for this world, and
often for the next-that which attaches
them by indissoluble ties to relationship,
home, and soclety-that which constitutes
their bane or their blessing, their happiness
or their misery, which enters alike into
their success or their failure, and is equally
capable Of accelerating both--that is not to
be looked into with serious eyes, but is left
Tor the gossip of the young, the jest of the
vulgar, and the scorn of the would-be wise.
One word, therefore, of serious earnest
ness on this forbidden subect-one word of
quiet reasoning, and of simple truth, NAV
surely be borne with, for the sake of the
variety which 1t presents in the accustomed
mode of treating a somewhat popular
theme. One word-and it is this. There
are two distinct ways of becoming entan-
gled IN what is called ove-afIair: there
is the love itself-a holy, and a precious
thing and there is the lore of being lored
"a mean--a greedy--a devouring passion
where it exists without the act of loving,
and where it demands so costly a thing as a
human heart, with all its warm and gener-
Gus affections, to satisfy the hunger of sell
/ fish vanity.
1t is on these grounds that the young so
often mix in society, and that such fearful
and fatal mistakes are consequently made.
| The false passion exhibits all the outward
symptoms of the real one, and what renders
discrimination between the two more diff
cult, is that it often, if not always is, in
some measure mixed with it for to love,
and not to desire TO be loved in return,
would be as little in accordance with rea-
son, as with nature.
II is on these unequal, and false grounds,
that women sometimes dare to marry and
oh what an awakening to the truth comes
then The devoted affection which had
supplied abundant food for vanity in those
circles of society where it could be eXhibi-
ted as trophy OF conquest, or while the
freshness OF the victory enhanced its value,
how does It pail and weary in the privacy
Of domestic life or perhaps if still valued
for the precious incense it offers. how is it
drawn ur5n, and drained of ITS sweetness,
by that requiring and Unsuitable love of be-
ing loved, which must be fed by constant
demonstrations Of attachment, at once de-
grading to the dignity OF man, and weary
ing TO the patience of the most devoted.
1t is this vanity of being loved, when
mistaken for the act Of loving, which makes
so many fretiul, teasing, und requiring
wives. The character Of the flirt is pecu-
liarly marked by this propensity, and might
be warning, instead of an attraction, as it
too often is, to those who compete for her
favorS or her smiles. The position of
first is that of person demanding of others
a costly and valuable treasure, for which it
is impossible that any equivalent should be
returned. 1t is more odious even than
this, for it implies the use of deep artifce
to obtain by secret means, what right rea-
son and honorable feeling would alike blush
to demand openly. 1t implies deception
too, for it makes show of being able to
return in kind. some portion at least of the
treasure demanded. 1t promises nothing
it cannot promise; because there would be
living witnesses TO prove that others had
shared in the same, and all would know
that the heart in question, however large
and bountitul, could not be bestowed upon
all. No; the firt is acquainted with sa-
fer course than this. 1t is the great busi-
ness Of her life TO find out and practice such
methods of acting, speaking, and even look
ing, as shall convey the idea that she her
self has heart to be won, when in reality
the ruling passion of her life is to win the
hearts of others.
If the professed flirt were the only one
addicted 10 this practice, or liable in this
way to be deceived herself while deceiving
others, there would be comparatively little
mischief done to society; nor would the
individual injury be such as to claim any
large amount of sympathy or consideration.
But the evil to be dePlored is one which
tries the foundation of human happiness in
a widely different manner. 1t arises in
fact out of that ignorance of themselves
which Is supposed necessarily TO belong to
the young, and which education makes no
Pretence to remedy. It consequently ex-
lists among the learned and the highly
taught according to the accustomed fashion
of instruction, and influences their actions,
to as great an extent as amongst the more
Ignorant and unenlightened
BY which Of the common systems of in
struction, for instance, is vain young Cir!
to be made aware of the fact, that while be-
lieving herself captivated by her first love,
and fancying him an object of affection, she
Is only captivated by his hattering atten-
tions, and charmed with the idea of being
an object of affection herself9-that she is
in reality only charmed with the idea of
being preferred before others; and thus the
deeper the impression she has the power
to make, the more ardent and devoted the
attachment displayed by her lover, the
greater is the qualification to her own vanity
aud self.loye?