The Mississippi Creole. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1841-1851, 1849-10-06
A CLEVER SKETCH,
My shirt Buttons.

I Q married men Of England!
Each one whose wife Win leave
All bultonless, q thousand times.
ha1 a collar or a aleeVe:- ao..
am Your desperate voicea raise AGAIN,
10 watch The female foe;
And keep your murmur;np deem.
While your shirts nnbottoned gO.n
Flesh and blood can stand il no longer!
Driven to the verge Of insanity, I will conIide
my case 10 the public; as from the public feel.
ing alone can now hope for redress Of nv
long continued grievance. Tailored man.
seedy and out-at-elbows, can get his outward
%integuments brushed up Or fine drawn, 01tit
fortune presents him with a new suit: but
SeGmstTessed man cannot get7a button put on
his shirt in these days. No, not he were 10
crack bis heartstrings in the asking. and were
o glve his woman kinds work boxes Of Cal.
itOrnia gold in guerdon. Driven, de / before
remarked, to the verge Of distraction by nv
wife's negligence in this peculiar, feel com
PEELED TO turn social reformer, and prove the
truth of the good poets aphorism, salt partial
III Is universal gOOd.' May my particular mis-
fortune be the little seed from which shall
spring a birch tree, big-enough 10 whip ali
feminine creation into the path or duty. Like
most other reformers, my mind hds been
led to a consideration Of the magnitude Of
II NE = 4M -.
the general evil by having had a pretty bitter
taste OF itin my own individual LOT,
Now Understand me, good reader. / do not
say that my wife is not a good wife in most
respects. She is an excellent little woman
a woman of superior sense and judgment:
and as such is very much attached 10 me and
thoroughly appreciates my character. she
is a very attentive listener whenever | talk
upon uncommon subjects, or read aloud any
remarkable leader from the newspaper. As /
q great politician, she takes an interest in
politics, and enters into my views; and it is
charming TO see the passion she will get into
my speeches in the vestry IRE badly
reported. Besides this she manages the house
very well, and does not look as black as d
cloud, If / happen 10 bring in half NJ
dozen l'iends unexpectedly to dinner, when
there is nothing bat q leg Of mutton. Then,
she deserves great credit fol- her method oil
bringing up the children, who are decidedly
the best behaved that ! ever saw in my life.
Yes, ! do not deny that in many. respects my
vile does her duty thoroughly, but-she does
sew on my shirt buttons. / can neither
coax nor scold her into remembering the mat.
Ter at the right time. She always says, : Oh!
am very sorry, | quite forgot it, orr Well!
never heard Of a man who pulls his buttons
at the rate you do. 1t must be done on
purpose.'
1t was only last month that | really lost al
capital stroke OF business by the want of those
'onfo"nded, ~beggarly buttons, / went down
'pon an important affair TO Liverpool, TO meet
man at ninO O'clock the next morning, and
vas 20 decide upon purchase, that if made
n time, would secure me a neat hundred
was called at eight. Everything / wanted
ready to my hand; for my wife had packed
ny carpet bag with her usual care-rasors,
brushes, my " peculiar soaps clean linen
md all odd minutia were there's Good erea-
ure she Isl thought /. She really is worth
Ter weight in goldl and / was far gone in a
Mediation on the economy and convenience
i malrimony, when ! came to a halt suddenly
: a change came o'er the spirit Of my dreama
Ny right hand held between it's thumb and
niger the buttonless wfistband of the sleeve.
)lsmayed, l seized the other wristband-there
Vasa button indeed, but in the last stage of
n~atomy=-one that would pot survive a thrust
hrough it's destined hole. made d desper.
to dash at my throat, and Drowning point Of
misery , my fingers grasped a wretched but
that hing by a thread which a%stually had
ost the power to snap. b You might have
.nocked me down with that button. As
brew myself on a chair, my eyes fell on the
1atch Five minutes to nine! Shades Of
Great Plhtus hear. Ittang the bell
n%riously. ! demanded a chambermaid with
Ieedle, cotton and buttons Immediately. YES,
iri did not want breakfast2' mo! no! no!
'%utlons, and a being that can sew them on!'
Whole centuries did it seem to me, while
young woman kept me waiting. She
anne at last ! and whole Decades did-if seem,
ghile she was operating upon my luckless
with her clumsy fingers. / sat like q mar
yr. Solemnly do | protest that | do not know
that young woman wssprstsy III not
hough in sewing on the final button on The
her face was close lcE me 10 see (Lear
lighted as ! ann that there was a lurking deya
i fun in her eye. Once she gave me a slight
rick with net needle; and when | started, she
legged my pardon, adding that il was sill
'onwsniencY 70 have the buttons sewed
yter q gentleman had put on his shirt III
i was ten minutes past nine, II
ain i hurried through the rest Of my toilet;