The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1849-03-21

ssd "a the tenspots anld as he tprhed away,
remarked: sss s5SS
We amt much acquainted with yeu
smart fnlksd daourn here II York, but we;
some times take. the starch aout Of 'em'
up souri Way y-and p'raps yeu Wnnt try
3it on tn strangers again. reck' you
wunt, he Continued, and, putting on a
broad grin; Of good humor, he left the
comp to their reflect lions!
55'.THAT's RIG STICK no I,r''i
a. friend tellsius the following rib.
tickling anecdote, which, NE believe,
has never been in print before, but, at
all events, will bear. dressing up again.
1t made us laugh t'consumedly;".
Old Farmer Jones, having been for
months preparing his fayorite Il York-
shire for eskilling time, sent finally for
the town butcher great wag, by the
way--to come and prepare the "sas.
.issenger meat for use. CThis was, Of
course, years ago, when confidence"
wasn't so necessary in eating sasse7:
gers, and dogs did not. howl and go into
spasms at the sight Of them, as now.
/: Old grunter was forthwith statck, as the
brokers say, and having gone through
the usual process Of being tumbled into
scalding water, scrapea, cleaned, disem-
'bowelIed, and SO forth, was hung up in
the shed for the night to dry. After
The butcher had finished his job, and
4was about departing, farmer Jones
says-@-
: "Friend, Tin in rather Q bad pickle.
I have been borrowing from different
families in the neighborhood some 200
pound of fresh pork, all which I've
promised to repay when my Yorkshire
should be killed; and now if I pay up
all ofmy debts, I shall have no pork
left for my own use. What shall I do
?-be honest, and shame tho devil, or
pay my debts, and starve?"
81 oan, arrange that business nicely
for you," replied the knight Of the long
knife. ttDo you just cut up and pack
your hog early in the morning, before
any Of the neighbors are stirring, and
then swear that somebody stole the crit
ter in the nighttime"
ssCapitalidea! First rate!'' exclaim-
cd farm sr Jones, chuckling clapping
his hands with delight -ssand you shall
have aspare rib for tho hints
About the witching time Of night, in
the tswee short hours ayant the twal'-l
when, according to Shakespeare, ,-
."churchyards yawn," and the place
with q naughty name "breathes out
contagion to the void the crafty
"butcher boy'' might have been seen
noiselessly dragging the carcass of the
,dofunct porker out of farmer Jones's
shed, and, long before old Sol was seen
perched on the distant mountain-top,
the monarch Of the sty was reposing-
well packed and salted--in a barrel in
the butchers cellar.
Next morning, as the butcher was
passing the farmers house, on the way
to the slaughter-house, Old Jones came
running out, crying at the top Of his
lungs, ''I say, old fellow, somebody
has stole that hog, sure enough"
"You don't say so!'' exclaimed the
butcher, in tones of deep surprise.
cts a fact, by hoky! The hog is
gone, hide and skin--he is, by the liv-
in Moses"
Have you told any one else besides
me?" asked the butcher.
stNo-I haint seen nobody else yet;
but it's, a .fact,.by thunder!''
"That's right" say the butcher;
stick to 1t like good fellow, and there's
no danger"
''But," protested the farmer, "I
amt jokin' nor nothin' of the kind. If
somebody haint actually stole that hog,
| hope | may be frizzled, stewed, and
fried into billed scraps, and chewed up
by monkeys"
"Never heard story told better IN
my hfe!"' reiterated the provoking
butcher, with sly wink to the farmer,
and bursting into loud horse-laugh-
"only keep long face on the matter.
and stick to It as you do now, and you'll
max I Cristendom believe It true,
afore long. Good morning, farmer
Jonesp'
STAND PROM UNnEn.-The German Ameri-
can Union of this city, have issued, and sent out
by tho Europa, u singular proclamation address
ed to their brethren in the Fatherland. denonn
eing the monarchs and potentates OF Germany
as enemies TO the human race, aud offering tho
following rewards: For the determination Of the
Austrian Emperor, 10000 florins; do, the Prus.
sian king, $4,000 aurns; for any other king,
duke, elector, etc. $4,000 forins; aud for tile
head of tho common hangman. Windschgratz.
10000 aorins. They believe as these arc nox-
ious men, whose deeds nra mn halter than thnsa