Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1849-05-31

The folly Of dabbling in medicine is very
pleasantly hit off in the following humorous
piece
"About four years ago l was happily
married to II very prudent lady, and, being
of the same disposition myself, we made
very prudent couple. Some time after our
marriage my wife told me that the doctors
bills we're very high, and, as we could not
always expect to be free from disease, she
thought it best to purchase some doctors
books, and thus SAID she with smile,
we can steal their trade at once This |
agreed to, and made it my particular bust
ness to attend all auctions of books, in or
der to buy medical books at the lowest rate.
In fine, in less than twelve months had
bought couple of Dispensatories,' Blu
chan's Family Physician, two or three
treatises on the art of preserving health, by
different authors; seven treatises on the dis
eases of children, and divers others of the
greatest note. My wife spent all the time
she could spare from the economy of her
household in studying them, and as soon as
my store was shut up in the evening, ed-
fed myself with few receipts from my Dis
pensatory.
As soon as spring arrived my dear wife
informed me that she found it positively en-
joined by some Of our writer's that we must
swallow large dose of cream of tartar and
birthstone, to be taken every evening for
three weeks, in molasses; this the whole
fumily complied with first myself, who
being the head ofthe family reckoned first
my wife, my brother Dick, who lives with
me, my son and my daughter, my negro
boy, and the servant maid This cure we
all went through to the entire satisfaction
of my wife, who had the pleasure to find
her medicine had the desired effect.
" Soon after this the contagion of reading
medical books spread through all my fam
lily, and scarce day passed but some of
them made use of some medicine or other.
My poor brother Dick, after he had permits
sion to read my books, had acquired de-
jected countenance, the cause of which
could not conceive. At last he broke ST.
ence: Brother said he, (supposing that
had read more than himself feel my pulse
| think | have to much blood had not
better get bled you know that if too much
blood gets into the head it produces apo
plexy the symptoms Of its appearance, says
Buchan, are remarkable redness in the face,
and you see that it is exactly the case with
me- | could not but laugh at him; he was
indeed red in the face, but such redness as
indicated the very offspring of health. Our
maid, from an education at country school,
had learned to read she earnestly reques-
ted her mistress to lend her doctor book
to read OH Sunday afternoon. This reason
able request was granted but, poor crea-
ture being not of the fairest complexion in
the world, she in a little while became low
spirited, and finding my wife and me alone
one evening she came in, and ventured to
express herself thus La mistress; | am
concerned and afraid | shall get the yellow
jaunders, as begin to look yellow In the
face Decency prevented my smiling for
a while, but when she had left the room |
could not but enjoy laugh. My negro boy
is always eating roasted onions for a cold,
but as he cannot read, he has luckily es-
capped every other disorder. One night as
we were about going to bed my wife desired
me in the most serious manner that if she
should ever be taken with lock jaw that l
should rub her jaw with musk, as she was
convinced, from comparing the arguments
vi variety OIL dutnOrS, tndt tnlS was the
best remedy. l told her there was no dam
ger of such an event, as had DR.. Culen's
word for it that it seldom attacks females I;
indeed, am convinced that lOck.jawed la
dy is rara aDiS in ferris.
Hitherto our family medicines were used
with confidence and satisfaction on all sides,
till considered one day that our family,
without doctor, had consumed more med
icne in one year than my fathers family
used to do with the advice of a physician
in six years. But one day when my wife
told me she thought it would be well to
weigh our food before we eat it, lest we
should eat too much or too little, and that
iSoncuorious advised it for good reasons, l
got such disgust to our scheme that re-
solved gradually to abandon it. am now
convinced of the truth of saying of ra-
tional medical writer, one or more things
must happen to every human body--to live
temperately, TO use exercise, to take physic
or be sick And am pretty certain that
if and my family persevere in the two for
mer courses, we need not be in danger OF
the two last