The Democratic pioneer. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1845-1853, 1849-11-30
I Comfort for the Bachelor.

We publish the following for the conso-
latien,ofst sthe, bachelor fraternity We
trust inaAthe ladies, both married ahd sin-
gle, willnot be offended, and that married
j Igentlemen will excuse us, ldsbachelors
certainly need lift occasionally.
! 1t was on New Years eve, in 1880,
that twelve professional young men sat
round the table of a club-room at supper.
The midnight hour had nearly arrived,
when one of them proposed to seal up a
bottle Of vinegar for the last bachelor
The plcposition was received with a
universal shout of appreciation. The vim
egar was ordered, with pen, ink and paper.
A bond was written out by which each
member was bound to drink it, in case it
fell to his lot on the night the last man
: but himself, was married; and, after pass
: ing round the table, it was laid aside with
its Signatures, until twelve. As the clock
struck, the seal was set upon the bottle,
, and it was then put away for safe Keeping
1t was on the last night Of l848, that a
single gentlemen set down alone at the
= club table in Arch street, with a dusty
: bottle and a single glass before him. The
rain was beating violently against the win
dows, and, ina pause of the gust, as lie
= sat with his hands thrust deeply into his
= pockets, the solemn tones Of the old clock
striking eleven, reached his ears. He
started and seeing the bottle, held it up
n to the light, with contraction of the mus
y cles of the face, and shudder of disgust
quite incomprehensible to the solitary SER
" want who awaited his pleasure.
= You may leaye the room, William said
be. As.the siour &losed ha.drew from hi.
- pocket smoky, time-stained manuscript
and a number of letters, and threw then
" impadently on the table. After sitting {
~ moment and tightening his coat arounc
him in the manner Of one screwing up'hiS
resolutions with some difficulty, he filled
his glass from the bottle, and drank it of
with sudden hysterical gulp.
Bah! it cuts like a sword. And so, here
| am-the last bachelor q little though
As it eighteen years ago, this night. How
pr fresh it is in my mind! Eighteen year.
D. since, I put the seal on chat bottle wit.
~ my own hand. 1t seems impossible. How
l. distinctly l remember those dozen rascolt
p Benedicts who are laughing at me to nigh
ID seated around this very table, and roarn.
at my proposition. All married-St John
h! and Fred Esperel, and Ned Gourlay, and
a.. tonight, last Of all, O'Lavender. And
n ami is useless to deny it; the old bachelor
e. And so, they have each written me a let
ly ter, as they promised. Let me see:
ID Dear Tom-How is the vinegar.
le think | see you with the bottle before you
re Who would have dreamed that you woult
drink it? Poor Tom! | am married as
V, you know; and my children sing we are
A. seven Lam very happy-very. My
wife-you know her----is a woman of edu-
is ca-ipn, and knows everything. | can't
er say. but she knows too much. Her learn
,e ing does pester me letter now and then
| confess that if were to marry again, il
i would be a woman that didn't read Greek
: Farewell, Tom. Marry, and be virtuous
\ HARRY.
d 7. S.-Never marry woman OF tai
entS. f
{ Ha! ha! happy, gery happy! Your wife
Y is blue, viruleht as verdigris, and you
r the m ost unhappy Of Benedicts: So much
o for yourcrowing. Wen see another.
c Toni pity thee! Thou poor, flannel
e wrapped, forsaken, fdgetty old bachelor!
Drink thy vinegar and grow amiable.-
Here am blessed as Abraham. My wife
i is the most innocentz-that is her fault by
f the way-lhe most innocent creature that
!. lives. She loves me to a foolish degree.
: She has no opinion but mine-no win of
her own except such as I give her, you
understand-no faults and no prominent
propensities., am as happy as I can ex-
pect to be in this sad world Marry, Tom
, marry. The world must be peopled.-
4 4A Thine eyer, aol-pd FnED.
4 2. S.-Dont. marry q woman thai is
: remarkable for her simplicity q tsia
e.
! envy not aee Fred Esperel. Thy wife
is aNfool. and thy children engreagrious ao
iaS i,c j. t-aa, p e. sg ssaiTd ban