Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1849-05-04

Fuss at FIres-A Good HINT An exchange
paper contains the following directions to peo-
pie who make themselves " generally useful''
at fires:
The moment you hear an alarm, scream
like pair OF panthers Run any way ex-
cept the right way, for the farihest way round
is always the nearest road to the fire If YOU
happen to run on top of wool pile, so much
the better; you can then get good view of
1he neighborho' d. If light breaks on your
view. break for it Immediately be sure
you don't jump into a bow window Keep
yel!ing all the time; and if you can't make
night hideons enough yourself, kick all the
dogs you come across, and set them yelling
too. Twill help amazingly. A brace of cats
dragged up stairs by the tail would he pow
erfu auxiliary When you reach the scene
Of the fire. do all you can TO convert it into a
scene of destruction. Tear down all the fem
ces in the vicinity. If it be chimney on fire,
throw salt on ii; or if you can't do that. throw
salt on rats tail and make him run up
The effect will be about the same If both
be found impracicabe, few buckets-fulI of
wafer, judiciousIy applied, will answer Amos,
as well. Perhaps The best plan would be TO
jerk of the pump handle and pound down ;he
chimney Don't forget 10 yell all the time, as
IT has prodIgious effect in frightening off the
fire. You might swear little too. if YOU can
do it scientifically. The louder the better of
course and the more ladies in The vicinity,
the greater the necessity of doing it brown
Should the roof begin TO smoke, get to work
in good earnest and make any man smoke
that interrupts you. If it is summer, and
there are fruit trees in the lot, cut them down,
to prevent the fire from roasting the apples
Don't forget to yell Should the stable be
threatened, carry out the cOw-chains Never
mind the horse he'll be alive and kicking
and if his legs don't do their duty, let them
pay for the roast. Ditto as to the hogs-let
them save their own bacon, or smoke for IT..
When the roof begins TO burn, get a crowbar
and pry away the stone steps; or, if the steps
be of wood, procure an axe and chop them
up. Next cut away the wash boards in the
basement story: and if that don't stop the
flames, let the char-boards on the first floor
share a similar fate Should the 'devouring
element still pursue the 'even tenor of its
way you had better ascend 10 the second sto.
ry. Pitch out the pitchers and tumble out
the tumblers. Yell all the time! 1t you find
baby abed, fling it into the second story
window of the house across the way, but let
the kitten carefully down in a work basket.
Then draw out the bureau drawers and emp
ty hem out of the back window, telling
somebody below to upset the slop- barrel and
the rain water hogshead at the same time -
Of course you will attend to the mirror. The
farther it can be thrown the more pieces will
be made If anybody objects, smash it over
his head Keep ceiling. Do not under any
circumstances, drop the longs down from the
second story-the fall might break it's legs
and render the po1r thing a cripple for life
set it straidle of your shoulders and carry il
down carefully. Pile the bed-cIothes on the
floor, and show the spectators that you car
beat the bugs at knocking hedstead apar
and chopping up the pieces. By the timl
you will have attended TO all these things, TIT
fire will certainly be arrested or the building
burnt down In either case, your services
will be no longer needed, and OF course yo'
need no further directions