The daily national Whig. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1847-1849, 1849-05-21
From Frasiers Magazine.
Letter OF Advice from AN Experienced Ma :
tr0B 10 Young Married Lady.


From Fraaltrs magazine
Letter or Advice from, an Experienced Ma
tron 10 a Young Married Lady.
(cosrisuRD)
One point there in which many husbands
are particularly apt to encroach--the man
agement and control Of the children. lhave
known man act as il he really thought the
children belonged to the father as much as
to the mother. And yet what mere moth
ing is the love, and care, and anxiety Of
father, compared with that Of a mother
and how incomparably inferior is mans
Judgment to woman's, in all that relates to
the care and education Of children All
this you must take due. care 10 impress on
your children, lest they should make the mis-
take Of feeling disproportionate--that is,
an equal--degree Of regar dior their father.
In order to impress this wholesome lesson the
more fully both onthem and him, you should
take care to let most Of the indulgences and
qualifications appear to proceed from you,
and the restraints, and privations, and pun
ishments from him. "Papa won't allow
this" and "Papa insists on so and 3d." even
when it Is your own will that they are re-
quired to comply with And i ever he is
disposed to censure or complain Of any Of
the children, or to deny or forbid them any
thing, do you make your appearance as in
tercessor in the chiid's presence, SO as to
prevent an agreeable contrast to him. Should
he venture TO demonstrate against this, or,
indeed, to demonstrate on any point in the
presence Of the children, you should com
plain bitterly Of the cruelty Of finding
fault witt you before your oirn children.
And take care to do this before them that
is, to do what rould be the very thing you
are censuring, il the children were TO be.
considered as his no less than yours. Moth
ing will more eHectually impress on their
minds than it is not SO, and that the children
are the rightiul property Of the mother
With servants don't think it advisable
to 60 quite so far; only let them all UNDER
stand that It is TO you they must look for d.
rections as to all they are to do. And as for
his dismissing, or engaging, orretaining any,
without your permission, that is to be regar-
ded as a fragrant encroachment upon your
rights, which must be resisted to the utter
most.
AS to friends, if there are any Of your
husbands whom you dislike, either because
you suspect he is disposed to treat them with
confidence, which ought to be yours exclu-
sively,) and to consult with them, and give
them place in his heart; or because they
have committed the objectionable offence Ito
you) Of doing him some important service,
or because their company bores you, or be-
cause their wives ire disagreeable, or for
any other reason, it is your duty to ALLEVIATE
him from them to the best Of your power.
1t is well known that there can be no real
love without jealousy. And, therefore,
when you made a vow to love your husband,
you engaged to do your best that he should
love no one else--woman or man--except
such as, being your own friends, are, SO far,
a part of yourself. But jealousy, need
hardly say, is never to be acknowledged,
but always strenuously denied. Your hus-
band, on the other hand, is to be bitterly re-
preached if he should ever dare TO manifest
the least Jealousy Of any friends Of yours,
female or male, whom you may find i con
venient to consult with as to the best way OF
fulfilling your difficult task Of managing such
creature as man, and to talk over domes-
tic grievances.
Various occasions will present themselves
for preudicing him against those whom you
wish to keep from too close an intimacy.
One mode, whichis particularly successful
with with some men, is to twit him with be-
ing led, governed, kept in eading-strings,
by any one whom he is disposed coniden-
italy TO consult with. You may hint how
much the world perceives and laments that
man Of his good sense should be 50 much at
another mans disposal, instead Of thinking
and acting for himself. And will not be
difficult for you, if you exercise any toerable
ingenuity, to make this true. II you hint, as a
great secret, TO each Of your friends, how
your husband is misled by Mr.
So-and-so, and what pity It is that he does
not assert bis independence, you will soon
find that the world will-say what you repre-
sent them as saying.
And here you are to observe that you must
always, in speaking to your husband, or to
any one else, Of his friends, take for granted
las il is we'll known such is generally the
case with mem that his friendship is founded
on a mere capricious fancy. His esteem
for them, and the good qualities he attributes
to them, are to be set to the account Of his
Partially. And heis partial to them because
they are his friends. They became hisfriends,
not on account Of any real merit, but because
he took a,E ncy to them. On this assump-
ton you must always proceed. Any degree
Of kindness and hospitality, therefore, which
YOU show towards any Of his friends whom
YOU like, you are always to represent as a
favor done to him--as an indulgence Of a
fancy Of his.
Then, as for the procedure you are to
adopt towards those friends Of his whom you
doai like, need hardly point out to you
how easily you may make your house unplea-