New-York daily tribune., 1849-05-16
Doctors' Bills.

The folly Of dabbng in medicine IS very pleas
A,tly hit oif in the following humorous piece
About four years ago wa, happily married 10 a
veryprudsnt lady, and being Of the same dlsposnoh
myself. we made very prudent coupe. So'ho uiic n
alter our marriage my wife told that doctors bills
were very high md could not always expect 10
be free from disease she thought II best 70 purchase
some doctor- books and thus said she with smile
we cnn steal their trade at once. This agreed TO-
.nf made il my particular business 20 attend al anc-
lions of books 10 order 10 buy medical BOOKS az 'ns
lowest rnic In fine In lees thm twelve months hhd
boughi a couple OF 'Dlspcnsotorcs, buchau- fhhniy
Vhv.ican Two or throe treatses the art of preser,-
ing health by different authors seven treau'es on he
iecases children ani divers others OF the greatest
note Nv wife spent all the time She could spare from
The economy Of her household In studying them ana
ns soon ~ my store -hut up IA the evening ed-
he'd mysef with lew receipts from my Dlspchsatoiy
AS soon g. Spring srrvod my dear wife informed
me hst ina found positively enoiued by some Of our
writers that we must swallow large doso OF cream oil
tartar and hrmstuno 10 be taken every evening lot
three weeks in molssses this inc whols i"niiy com
plied with nrst ] myself who, being the head OF the
family | reckon fret nv wife my brother DICK VINO
lives with me my and my daughter my negro DO,
and the servant maid. This cure we all went hr9uth
10 the entire satisfaction Of my wife, who had The
pleasure 20 find her medicine had tho desired effect
"soon after this tho contagon OF feahns meulSM
books spread through all my family, ana scarce d"y
ua.sed but sono of them made use of sOmo medicine
ar o,her Nv poor brother Dick. after he had Psrnns
zion 10 read my books had acquired detected co1n'
tenance the cause Of which could not conceive. Al
that had read more than hifnsct) feel my pulse
fh nk have too much blood had not better get hed
Won know that !. too much blood gets into the head
produces apOplcNy the symptoms OF It's appearance,
saws Buchan are remarkable rcdness IN the lace ana
Won see that Is exactly tho case with me could not
bat laugh Si him no indeed red In The lace hni
such reaness indicated the very offspring o hesh
Our maid. from education At country school had
learned TO read she earnestly requested her mistress
70 lend her doctor book TO read ON sunday afternoon
This reasonable request was granted but poor crcs
inre being not of The farest complexion IN the world
abe in little while became quite low spirited ana hnd
inR my wife and alone evening she came IN Hn
Ventured 20 express herself thus La mistress
nm concerned and afraid shall get the yellow lsun
.icrs a. begin TO look yellow IN the face. Dccency y
urevcuied my smiling for awhile hut when she had el'
the room could not but enjoy laugh MY negro ooy
ia always eating roasted onions for cold, oNt as ne
cannot read he has luckily escaped every other dsoi
der one night we were about gong 10 pcI III!
wife desired me in the most serious manner ths' s,e
should ever be taken with locked Jaw, should
rub her Jaw with musk. as she was convinced nom
comparing the arguments of variety oi authors iha
This was the host remedy told her there was no dan
ger of such an event had Dr. Culens word Tor u
that IL seldom attacked females indeed am con
yineed that a lorkar.d iady s rdrd GriS ~ f1Ts-
Hitherto our family medicines were used wlih conn
dence and satisfaction all sides tl considered one
day that our family. without a doctor had consumed
more medicine IN than my fathers isnly useV
TO 40 With the advice Of physician IN sN wears bu
one day when my wife told me she thought would "a
wen weigh our food before ate it lest We should
set much too little, and that SlGcaor0hs sdNisrd
E for good reasons, GOT such disgust 10 our scheme
that / resolved gradually 10 abandon H. / am now
convinced OF the truth Of saying Of a rational med
zeal writer, Ono OF moro things must happen 20
every human body-to live tenspcraiely 10 use eNer-
else IL take physic OF De sick And am pretty Ger
rsn thst il and my family persevere in the two for.
msr course need not be in danger OF the two last