The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1849-02-01
A SQUIRTING JURY.

A SQUIRTING JURY.
Once upon time, or to be little more
particular, nearly half century ago, (sor
tho editor Of this paper well remembers the
time, place and scene, which nre firmly fix
"a upon bis boyish recoicctions) there
dwelt 10 the town Of -, 10 old England,
! remarkable oddi,y, in the person Of
On attorney ut law, who, although not
Sir to look upon, (for he was in truth one
Of the homelicst specimens OF humanity ey-
or beheld by mortal many was wi,hal per-
son Of sound judgment, great benevolence'
varied learning, poet, painter, and vii
Of no mean order.
Il 90 happened that tho aforesaid gen
,leman, G***** G***, ESQ, was appoint
Cd High Sheriff Of tho town OF -. tie
vas i man Of fortune, and had kind heart
@ many poor prisoner could testify, who
partook Of the good cheer with which the
prisoners were literally supplied at Christ
mas and other well known festivals, from
the private purse Of the High Sheriff.
j was Of course the duty OF tho High
Sheriff to summon Grand and Peti, jury.
10 attend ut the Quarter Sessions Of which
the Recorder, Mayor and Aldermen Of the
borough composed the Court. In the per-
Torrance of his official duty in summing
the Petit Jary. our High Sheriff indulge
10 some Of the strang1st and dro.lest freaks
that have probably ever been heard OF in
any other town or country. In the first
place he summoned for the October Court,
jury consisting OF twelve Of tho latest
men he could find in the borough, and when
they came 10 be sworn, il appeared that
only nine jurors could sit comfortably in
the box! After great deal Of sweating,
squeezing and scolding, tho PANEL was lit
orally jammed into the box, and when seat.
ed, they presented to the eye ofthc Coort,
the barrister, and the audience, ",hc tight
est fit" Of . jury that was ever seen in my
court room. Literally they became much
20 the amusement Of the Court aud its
5obed advocates, 80 packed jury," and no
mistake!
For the January term, our facctious High
Sheriff lin consequence it was said Of some
hint from the Recorder that there should
b no more fat pannels summoned 20 bis
Court) went into tho opposite extreme
He summoned twelve Of tho ieaaesf ard
talless men he could find in the borough;-
and when they took their seats in the box,
il appeared comparatively empty--there
was indeed room enough for twelve moro Of
the same sort and dimensions.
For the April term OF the Court, our hu-
morous functionary summoned jury con-
sis,ing Of twelve BARRIERS! Now it So hap
psned that among the latter were the very
perreqniess who dressed The Recorders and
barristers' wigs, and some Of the latter.
arriving late at tho bar, had to appear that
morning in Court, with their wigs undrcss-
Cd or half dressed, SO as TO cut n very ridic-
ulous figure, amidst the smiles aud half
suppressed laughter of the b,standers.--
The High Sheriff enjoyed the fun amnzinr-
", but looked 'gravc rs n judge" while 10
tried TO keep silence in the cour. room.
But the browning joke Of this wnggish
functionary occurred nj tho summnning Of
bis fourth aud last Jury, n. the Summer
Sessions, in July. For that term of the
Court. the High Sheriff mt having the
fenr of the Recorder, the Mayor, and the
Aldermen before his eyes. actually sum-
moned squirting jury! twelve as queer
looking bipeds, ~ ever took their seats in
ajnry box-a jury that was probably more
looked at, and laughed nj, thnn any Of the
appointed twelve that ever were sworn, 10
'swell and truly try and true de!ivcranee
mike between their Sovereign Lord the
King, aud the prisoner nj the har."
But the scene wns so irrcsis,ihly droll
that the learned Recorder could not main
tain his gravity. The Mayer and Alder
men followed suit. The barristers laughed
while their wigs became bald, powderlcss:
nay, even the poor prisoners in the dock,
Who were to be put upon their trial. and
some Of them undergo transporiion, could
no refrain from joining in the general each.
ination! And when the learned Recorder
commanded the High Sheriff to bring the
court room TO order, mud in,imn.ca, with n
half suppressed laugh. TINT tho latter onch,
TO he ashamed of himself for snmmaning
such jury the drnllery ri this cpnr,.sccnc
vas heightened considerably, IL the quick.
ready. mud sonornus response Of the High
Sheriff, who, locking nj the squirting jury,
exclaimcd---"A'l good md lawful men,
your Honor" Washington Nous.