Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1849-03-15

The cousin having flushed. looked ram,
Tor some sand. Anxious to Be Of service i
rushed forward, seized. - IN l,,sk worl.
n have e, theinkstznd instead Of the san,lhor
II and poured . Ehole stream Of the best hIsel
writing hqid over the neatly kent ledger
thought 4 should have simmediately tainted
from sheer fright, and in my confusion hur
riediy drew forth my snow:whise pockei
nandkerchief to wipe il up
With an exclamation Of sWhaf on earth
are yon doing there, friend Stolpriau.n INV
entertainer smilingly interposed. and nnshed
me and my black aud white kerchicf gently
aside, quickly put thiugs TO rights. then led
1.-THE way to the apartment where the company
were assembled. / followed, but with :
troubled spirit, and on looking down was hor.
ri6ed to observe an ink.blot as large as 4
form, on my left white silk stocking .Helu
me Heaven mentally groaned, swhat will
the company think ~ ~
The room door is opened. I. awkward
block-head BOBBY that / was, thinking to
show myself light and graceful, as we'll as
clever and gallant, sprang forward, bowling
right and left, backwards and forwards, scra.
| pug hEst with one foot, then with the other
/ IN all objections and not perceiving a female
domestic just before me who was in the act
OF dlshing up q. pie, dashed my head with
such force into her back, as to send the bic
flying out Of the dish on the floor. and so
with compliments, and ducking and bowing,
blindly advancing. felt as though / we're
iabattls and about to rush on the enemy's
guns. fz. 4..l.
What civil things we're said on the part Of
the company, know mot; as yet I had not
the courage to. look up, but continued like
one possessed, bowing and scfaping. and eiac-
ulating, your humble seryant,n in all direc.
tons, until cut short by fresh mishap.
l had in fact reached the pie which still
lay there, for the servant had not sufficient
" recovered from her fright and loss of
breath and stood staring at the masterpiece
Of cooking dashed to pieces on the floor,
without an effort to remove it.
All at once, while engaged in making
fresh inclination, my unfortunate left foot
wandered into the pastry. / saw nothing.
for all had become dark before INV ewes
Disgracefuily, but naturally enough. nv foot
slid from under me; in an instant! political
and personal balance were lost, and oowrisI
came, measuring my whole length, Just 6yS
foot seven, upon the floor, to the no small az
larm Of some, and the irrepressible laughterof
others OF the large and worshipful company
there assembled
In falling | brought down two chairs. with
a young and pretty female, who, IN all proba-
bility was at that moment about to seat her
self but now with o speed equal to that of
her chair, came rolling on the floor beside me.
Gracious heavens it was Barbara Il .Ias,
A tarrihla ala mo-. .<,an. u. Al
lroared Justify too, for seeing in addition to
myself ladya and tweschairs. stretched out
on the floor, felt persuaded that a shock of
an earthquakeJmust have taken place To
my great relief soon discovered that no
earthquake had caused this melancholy fall,
but, as already narrated, only veal pastry.
Wegot up. The1Cousin treated the whole
affair as an excellent joke It was very well
for him to joke, but | could have wept, nay,
died with shame, with vexation I went to
the mantel piece without offering one word
of apology, but as all were laughing and gig
Cling around I1aug hed too and threw from
time to time stolen glances at the cause of
my misfortune tf4T ie'i
At last we took our seats at the table,
The Cousin was so gallant as to place me
next Barbara, l had rather have been sit
ting near volcano than at the side Of this
amiables and pretty creature. felt most ex-
traordfBary sensations whilst thus in .juxta-
position with my future bride OF Che as
sembled guests yentured only to take ra-
pid glance at intervals -
Soup was served round, Barbara offered |
me some-but how could 1 accept it She
herself was yet unprovided. Compliments
were exchanged, and l already foresaw that
some new evil would arise out Of these abo-
minable ciyilities. Hence became more
and more pressing and looking imploringly |
into the face of my charmer forgot the plate
The consequence was that |
poured the burning soup into Barbara's lap |
and over her clothes, and in hastily endea-
yoring to withdrawn sent the remainder In
to my own lap deluging alike my garments
and my napkin. 1t was fraternal division.
| shall never forget it remember all as
though it had occurred but yesterday. It
was crab soup.
The charming Barbara left the table. / |
stammered out sundry apologies. The
guests endeayOred to console me, and a fresh
plate was handed to me Meanwhile my
pantaloons were steaming from the inunda-
ton Barbara was obliged to change lher
dress, She returned, aud I epdeayored q
gain and again to excuse myself as well as /
could
On perceiying that she smiled graciously.
! felt someyhat treasured, and Fbegan3to
brush the cold perspiration from my face, of
course not with my hand, but With my peck
ct handkerchief
Alas, amidst the accumulated disasters
that had since occurred had clean forgot |
ten the ink business, In drying OF the per
spiration rubbed in the ink SO thoroughly, |
that on replacing the handkerchief ii nv |
pocket. the whole company we're amazed to
lad me converted. into perfect blackamoor
rTitterings and raars Of laughter suceeeded.
Politeness compelled me to Join In the laugh,
and n did 50 heartily for some time without
knowing why or wherefore, until / found /
thatsone Of the ladies we're becoming alarm
ed At the blackness Of my visage; and now
for the FIRST time, perceived that my hand
kerchief had got me into fresh scrape, and
what an appearances must present
In alarm, 4 rose precipilately from the to-
bic and commenced = retreat towards the
kitchen, IN order 70 wash myself and IN 50
doing, for had inadvertently hattonedI I
corner of il instead Of the table napkin. to
my vaistcoat, down came plates aud dishes,
boiled and roast meats. salad, spinach, bot [
ties and saltcelIars, flesh and fowl knives |
and forks, spoons and glasses All rushed /
after me with afearful crushing. and clatter
The guests. on witnessing the good things |
thus ddenly withdraw, and many 4 delica-
~ on which they bad set their hearts, come |
in fall career after me, sat open mounted and |
rivels1 % TIE spot with ast0hishment
At 6rst, On seeing che pixies and dishes |
closely following on my heels, I could attii- |