Washington telegraph., 1849-11-28
From the Great West.
How Capt. Simon Suggs got Fifty Dollars
of the Widow Rugby's Husband.

|
Among the celebrated characters who
had for some years bestowed their pa
tronage, semi-annually, during court week
upon the Union Hotel, of TaIlapoosa, was
Captain Simon Suggs, whose deeds of
valor and of strategy are not unknown to
the public. The Captain had 'put up"
there time and again-had puffed the
| ssUnion' both "before the face and be-
hind the back" of its owner, until it
seemed miniature of the microcosm that
bears the name of Astor-and. in short,
was so generally useful, accommodating
and polite, that nothing short Of long
confined and oft repeated failures to settle
his bills, could have induced mine host
to consider Suggs in any other light than
as the best friend the "Union" or any
other house ever had. But alas! Captain
Suggs had, from one occasiun to another,
upon excuses the most plausible, and
with protestations of regret the most
profound, invaria bly, left the fat larder
and warm beds of the "Union,' without
leaving behind the slightest pecuniary
remuneration. For long time the
patient inn-keeper bore the imposition
with patience that indicated some hope
of eventual payment. But year in and
year out, and the money did not come.
Mrs. Dennis, the landIady, at length
spoke out to her husband, ard argued
the necessity of tavern-keeper's collect
ing his dues, If he was disposed to do
Justice to himself and family.
"Suggs is nice man in his talk" she
said, "nobody can fault him, as far as that's
concerned but smooth talk never paid
for -four and bacon:" and SO she recon-
mended to her leaner half that the 'next
time" summary measures should be adopt
ed to secure the amount in which the
Captain was indebted to the "Union
Hotel"
The next session Of the circuit conrt
after this prudent conclusion had been
arrived at-the circuit court, with all its
attrac ctions of criminal trials, poker play
ing lawyers, political caucusses and pos
sibIe money shows-found Captain Suggs
snugly housed at the "Union." lime
passed on swiftly for a week. The Judge
was hearty, liquor-loving fellow, and
lent the Captain ten dollars, 'on sight.
The Wetumpka aud Montgomery lawyers
bled freely. La short, every thing went
bravely on for the Captain, until a man
with smallpox pits and faro box came
along. The Captain yielded to the temp
tation--vielded with a presentment on
his mind that he shonld be "slaln." The
"tiger' was triumphant, and Captain
Suggs was left without dollar.
AS if to give testimony OF his distress,
on the morning after his losses at the faro
bank, the friendly clerk of the court hint;
ed to Suggs that the grand jury had found
an Indictment against him for gaming.
Here was dilemma. Not only out of
funds, but obliged to decamp before the
adjournment of court; obliged to lose all
opportunity of redeeming his 'fallen for
tunes,' by further plucking the green
horns in attendance. Izea f H1f
1t was in no pleasant humor, therefore,
that Captain Suggs the next morning an
nounced his mIsfortunes to the worthy
host of the "Union,' and his amiable wife.
"You see, cousin Betsy --Suggs al
ways CONSUMED any lady whom he wished
10 cozen---"you see, cousin Betsy, the
fact is, I'm down, just now, in the way OF
money, and you and Dennis needn be
afraid I'll run away and never come back
"Tain't that M afraid Of" said Mrs.
Dennis.
"What then?" said Suggs.
ssOf your comm back eatin' US out O.
house and home, and neuer pdyan no
thln." fue
"Well," said the Captain, slightly con-
fused at the ladys directness; "well,
seein' that the way the mule kicks, as
was a-sayin,' proposed to Dennis here,
as long as him aud you distrusts an old
Union friend that's stuck by your house
like stick, even when the red-mouthed
nullifers swore you was feedln us soap
tails ON bull beef and blue coll0rds---I
say, as long as that's the case, l propose
to give you mortgage on the south
half of 21, 13, 29 It's the best half Sec
ton in the country and 1t S worth forty
times the amount of your bill.
"You ain got DO rights 70 that land
II jist know lt---or YOU wouldn t want
to mortgage it for tavern bill, shouted
Mrs. Dennis; sand | tell you that your
horse old Bill don t 60 out of our stable
till the money paid---mind, say money
---into my hand;' and here the good lady
turned off and called Bob, the stable boy,
to bring the stable key.
The Captain was confounded. 1t ap-
peared very evident that he could not get
away that day, and he arranged with the
clerk not to issue capias until the next
afternoon. Having done this, he cast
around for some way of raising the wind;
but the fates were against him; and at
eleven o'clock that night, he went to bed
in fit of the blues that three pints OF
whiskey had entirely failed to dlssipate.