The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1849-04-04
RECOLhEGf GfI ONSs DIE \ lIAJOR /
BIJNKIJM St
COIN OFF HALE. CocKEp,

go Oft halfIccske /: And the chap that
t uses one of that sort isscertain to shoot
suthin' bigger ner a gobblerin the. long
run, but the man that, GOES off half
cooked is as sbua as falin' off q log to
shoot hisself, and more ner ot,nist too.
It's alters best I reckon to lcok at q
thing all over twiste, safore you meddle
with it. B :sss :'#
i knowed an old doctor onst, as cley-.
er. soul as ever trottcd pottercary stuff
through man, but his har-trigger was
sot too fine, and through itwarp amost
the ondly failin' he had, it war enuff to
keep him in hot water all the time.
lie war powerful fond of his farm
and garden, but somewhot 'riuther nu-
thin went we'll thar, he was alters q git
tin some new kind in his head, and
afore he got half through one spear.o-
ment, he'd be q barkin' loud on some
other trail. 4 ~ a
Twarnt at all surprisin' that when
he had 50 many things goin' on in his
field, he hadent any time tcssee to the
fences around it.
The cattle tormentcd him powerfully;
they got used to comm in, and come
thcy would. t
One of his naybors had q pair of
beeves that war mighty onruly, to be
shua, and he consulted, they wat alters
the ring leaders in breakin in.
Arely one mornin' he got up and
went out of his cabin, and putty soon
heard the coin stalks crackin,' but
there war heavy fog on, and he couldn't
see ten foot ahead, SO he started offfu!l
split for the noise, and afore long sot
eyes on suthin that looked white among
the corn.
"By Ned" says ne, eff it amt that
owdacious critter of Miss Marsh's q
helpin' himsclfin broad day light, sep
tin the fog, that's putty chunked; COM
ing it rayther too strong reckon..-I
said I'dpepperh him the fust time trccd
him in my field, and by thurder I'll do
it -
Back he went to the house and took
down one of the boys guns; it war the
old mans first experience in frin one.
and of you could hev seen him put in
handful Of powder and shot, all mixed
up, you'd hev alowod it war doze of
calemel and cpekak he war mixin' for
some misfortenit critter.
Arter he'd ramncd it all down, and
put in nigh on to half a pound O. cot.
ton to keep all quiet, out lie put, craw-
led up clus to whar the beef war man.
kin his breakfast, ond let fly, chez
bang!
For the fust fire, it was mighty
good Que, and fetched three things to
onst--the gun bust, the old man dropped
like he'd been shot hissclf, and the big
gcst part Of him made hole in the
ground that they had to fill up after
wards like an old well, for he weighed
clean above two hundred, and the nay
bors that lived too fur off to hear the
gun felt the shock aud TUX it for a lew
cn,ilc arthquake on mincatcwr plan.
The beef swung backwards and for
wards second er two, Jest us he war
putty well corncd, and her war too,
then down he dropped, gin bcllor, and
keeled up.
In mint here come the boys from
the house a humpin' it and hoopin'.
"By thunder!" says one on 'cm, "cf dad
han't gone and done it now. II be
derned-I recon Miss NIarsh's bccfhas
got as much of a grist to grind as hc'lc
want for some time; halo! farther! are
you tired, cr what ere yc squattin' down
that way fer?"
The old man sot still, didn't say
word, ncr try to git up, and ef he, had,
t'would hey been ofno sorter use.
We'll, thar lie sot fer ten minits, and
all the boys could do they couldn't Git
word out ov him, till at last, by pri-
zin' and litin,' they got him on his legs
agin, and then artcr scratchin' his head
awhile, says he
"John, which ccnd ov gun do you
mostways use to pint at anythin,' when
you want to knock it over?''
"Why,' says John, "the lcetlc one
in course,''
"And do you gincrally put the pow
del afore the lead, or a, ter it?''
''Why, aforeit to be sure"
.'Well," said the old man, "then I'm
satisfied, fer | put both in together, and
that accounts fer both ccnds goin' off
to onst, but allow Miss Mash's beef
has got tho tother half, and you'd best
sce."
All hands started OFF for the beef, and
thar he war sure enough, made meat ov
the old Doctors white faced steer.