Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1849-01-24
MYPERBOLE.

Talk about you darned fast lines.
said a Yankee to Cockney, who was SC
imprudent as, in the natural way of his
cOuntrymcn, to commence Dragging on
English railroads, while the couple were
progressing at the rate of forty miles an
hour on the Birmingham railway. why
Mister, this ere road is purity considera-
BILE for England, but it wont do for 'Meriky
We ride-straddle of telegrafs there, when
we're in hurry, but when we amt we
take the railroad. Now them roads amt
as I tell you was comm from Phila-
dclphy to York, when SEES to a Teller
sitten' close by me. 'Who on airth owns
this big garden with white palms around
it!
Il dom see no white palms. ses he.
Il dont't see nothin' else,' ses l., and a
mighty tall fence it is too
The Teller burst out laffin.' 'Why.
you darn'd fool ses he, .them's the tel
egraphic posts And, sure enough, when
the engine Teller stopped, l saw them
posts hundred yards apart, and we had
been goin' so all fired fast, they looked,
for all the world, like white palm
At this moment the bell rang at a sta
ton signal. before he Cockney had fully
recovered from Jonathan's last dose.
.What's that bell ringin' tor7' inquired
the latter Of his English friend.
we are approaching D.
We'll, them kind Of bell ixins does for
these ere slow cars, but we can't use 'em
in 'Meriky.'
'Ah, why not!'
Travel too fast-fact-beats SOUND all
to mash. We would be smack through
village before the noise Of the clapper was
in the neighorhood.'
You don't say!' exclaimed the aston
ished Cockney.
Fact again by thunder. Why, ] was
on the York cars when them are steam
whistles was tried. May be you've heard
Of the terrible accident No! Well, Sir;
we were going it strong. Hurrycanes
were nowhar-all nature seemed shaking
TO pieces-when, several miles off, some
thing was seed on the track. The whis-
tie was let loose, and she did scream aw-
fully; but it was no manner of use. for.
after tumbling over a span of smart hors-
es and big market wagon, was just ris-
ing from pond, when along came the
whistler's boiler, mixed up with some big
curses | mind to have heard the engine
man rip out when he first saw the wagon.
But the poor Teller was dead when his voice
arrived. Fact-got the documents
'Extraordinary,' exclaimed the horror
struck Cockney, and do you use wins
lies yet!'
Bless your soul. no; Congress stopped
EN- right off, and now we acts on the
ohilosophic principle that light travels an
alfred sight faster than sound, which
will do. perhaps. for this generation. We
low tell 'em we're comin's by Dustin out
, light that does astonish animal ere alton
md, | reckon. rather surprised the plane
ary system at first. When 1t was first
ried at night, the, BOOSTERS on the road
Growing. and the chickens all
got down from roost, thinking it was day
isht'
The cars suddenly stopped, when JON
'than. having arrived at the point OF his
lebarka,ion. looked around at the bewil-
tered Cockney. nodded his head. and.
With little carpet bag under one arm
md an umbrella under the other, took
lis leave, sober as a deacon.
KIND WoRDs.-They never blister the
ips And we have never heard Of any
al l.