Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1849-09-14
From the Washington Union
THE GRAND TOUR-AGAIN.
i =. -. =. ~. k;ti &c faro fy


THE GRAND TOUR-AGAIN..
Let me see the hill Of fare !"
Get out of my sight, or I'll knock you down!"
B0mbGstes.
Last night. when the drowsy horn of a
long-billed mosquito was making night hide
GUS and sleep lie, we received per telegraph
having put ourselves in communication,
with one of the posts just before bed. time-a
letter from the immortal Zachariah, rich in
faith, and Jealous about all works, good or
bad, which he had OF had not had a hand in.
The letter, like everything else from the dear
old Fire-eater, speaks for itself; and as it is
his own composition-all except the spelling,
wording, and copying-we shall give it YER
baum ct Ilteratum ct pomdtunl, as old Whis-.
tleberry says in the Pardoniad:
In THE EXPRESS LINE, PASSENGER Cans, ~
Back seat, all the way from the Jarseys,
Coming home. Sept. 9, 1849.
My DEAR HEROIC AGE: All the nations OF
the earth, as well as our interior, having OF
late been troubled with an unquitt spirit, eau
| sing unpleasant sensations and making all
hands keen Boston time for the next alley
as the immortal Josephus has it, we have de.
termined TO bite off the end of our tour and
come home.
| In the first place, dear Age, our cabinet.
which we thought something of before we
knew them, are as ignorant of geography as
old Watson was when he expected 10 have
| fine view of Ireland on his passage from Rhode
Island to Savannah. They marked out the
route for us to take from Washington to Eas-
tern Massachusetts. & came mighty near pitch
| ing us over Niagara Falls in the night, by way
of variety After three weeks travelling. we
| found we were farther off of Eastern Massa-
II, hx, cd fbot, &r,6o
started, besides having the unfortunate disease
alluded to in our speech at Baltimore, which
doctors ealls'cholera morbus asfria 4siatica,"
for short. We intended TO visit the coal interest
in Pennsylvania, but we were so surfeited with
pig iron, pig tail, & pigeons milk--which is on
Iy old rye and moasses after all their string
we could not spare glance at the black diG-
mondS whose owners elected US by the means
of Fitnam and the native American foreigners
of Schuylkill and suDdry other d;gginS.
Ii the President of this republic ever intends
10 be anything more than the ace of Spades
when hearts are trumps, he must look to all
interests, and not let his patriotism eXpend it.
self upon ironore and soft slate-Andrew
Stewart and the American system to the con-
trary. notwithstanding
| By the way, this country is no longer Off
! cially known as 'fthe United States,' or, as
Mr.. Calhoun properly has it, " the States uni
led )" it is called the republic, and Totten and
Randolph, in the blockading squadron off
Round Island, amid all their denunciations of
Migrants and threats of starvation, cali US
the President of the Republic This is all
right. The Republic, our organ, is pretty
much all we can control on this continent, as
the late elections have so abundantly proved );
and g the States unHed'' seem to be inclined to
rule over and take care of themselves in their
own way. We presume our doctrines, as
promulgated before election, about the non use
of the veto and the omni Impotence and infalla-
bility of Congress, have led TO this assumption
OF power; but it must be understood that when
we preached that doctrine, We expected the
wings to have the control of both houses of
Congress. As it is now uncertain about the
result in the lower House, and as the Senate
is ga fixed democratic fact" we propose TO
amend our creed, and exalt our veto power as
high as our illustrious predecessor General
Jackson) ever hoisled it. The veto, then, will
be used witha looseness, gentlemen Congress
men, and no mistake; and every time you We
to one OF our officials, we shall veto one OF
your internal laws, and be darned TO you
When you fling cheese parngs, we can show
err down few herrings' heads; and if You
want to try us on our obstinacy, begin with
yoGr birds egging, and, in the language OF
General Macbeth, of the Fusiliers,
i Damned be he who first cries, hold :"
Rumor-who has many tongues, and who,
on account of her being female woman. we
are bound to respect-bas pretty strongly him
ted, since our absence, that we are the cipher
of the government Well, we are The
cipher but we intend hereafter TO be
the cipher at the right hand of a unit. and mo-
at the left ; and then we think we can quail.
fy the whole ste by making Sirty-horse pow.
er whenever we please, without calling in Ole
Whitley, whose back is so sore, and whose
tail has been so indecenty plucked by the
ladies, that he considers the private station
the post of honor And he is right. Oh, thai
we were him, and he were we! We can now
appreciate the remark of Richard, Duke o
Glister, which Fenelon records SO beautifully
in his Holy War att .-.-. rs "a.
"A horse a horse! @
MY kingdom for mare"
The Republic grumbles at US for our mistake
in quoting classics but, so we get the sens
of thing, we care not for the shell; the fde
| is the main chance, aud those who want
mouthfu OF words can take a bite at Lam
bereel's Classical Dicksionary and Dryden
Coles Anybody will loan them the books
II they pay 1Or tneHl anu TetuEl tHetn WIthou
reading. That is the way we served circu
Iating library once on the Red river; and whe
the chap varmoused with his books, we wer
as pure and unsophisticated as we were be
fore he came down the river whiting shin
giles and whistling Yankee doodle 10 taberna
Gle in the Tuckapaw country. .. s-..
On our return we passed Syracuse, wit
her hog pens and her salt pans, like streak
We did not see the show; we were afral
we should fine our coaU there and as it mgt
lead to aquarrel just before election, and as tn
locofocos were quarfelling among themselve
like couple OF Kiltmany tom-cats, W
could MT think of changing the quarrel By an
personal matters Of our own; besides, Fentor
who has gone consul to the Island of Cow
is to send US in reparation 6rfndLe wort
having, that will stand when she is mike,
and cares no more for coal man or the cal
met than we do for Folks Bill.
The Mohawk valley is fine place for 1r
dams. We saw but few of them as we pa
sed along, but we saw where an indian ha
been several times. These indians eat baco
instead of saxifax and venison, and wear lon
tailed coats like the rest of the elite w
wanted 10 buy one to run with our colore
property in Tuckapaw, hui it was no go, {
''neexea;," as the lawyers there still insist NJ
IN o,fl;ncr II couomon cnnSn and economy