Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1849-09-28
From the Washington Union
CROTCHETS.

CROTCHETS.
plague upon signing and grief;
Il pufs man up like bladder.--FGIstgf.
"What yor bout up there-singing ten tunes z"
No. we amt doing no such thing"
Well, continue on, then, and don't crowd the
treble. Billings on Psalm Singing.
Will you tcine, sir 7"
Excuse me, General, have tUound."
Corporal Casey.
II was the remark Of old Lsaak Walton, or
some other writer on piscatorial lore, that fish,
when dipped alive into hot oil, considered it a
scaly business, and were in great hurry to
cool themselves by jumping into the fire
Shakespeare, the sexton of English literature
and the dry nurse of nature. carries out a SINH
lar idea in his Winters Night Tale-the pre-
else place where, we have forgotten, and the
exact words of which we never remembered.
We consider the universal wing party 10 be
like Watton's fish and before they get thro'
with the cooking which is intended for them,
we expect TO see them crisped up upon the
blazing Goals Of unhalIowed ambition, or sig
zling in their own drippings.
The master-spirits of olden time were full
of crotchets and demi semi quavers They
were always securing FURNISHED gold and per
were soae in those days, and soft solder then,
as it is now, was invaluable at court. Plato
had vague idea of something better than
proonshine and harder than smoke. And Aris-
totle, after he had made his celebrated Jews
harp, which Zimri, son of Nebul, came all the
way from eastern ETHIOPIA, with two negroes,
TO play upon, vainly undertook TO make man
without joints and soul without sorrow
The present cabinet have endeavored TO out
Aristotle Aristotle, with, like success Esop
and he is good authority with the Second
Washington-records the story of farmer of
Thracia who had goose that laid an egg of
gold every day; but not content, however,
with receiving riches by inslalments, he cut
open his priceless bird that he might get pre-
cious haul at grab; when 10 and behold, he
found nothing but a gizzard and other ct cete-
raS las Monsieur Huedebert, consul to Lyons,
has 1t, in his advertisement on cookery,1 in
one hand, and dead goose in the other.-
Melancthon, when he lost his mistress, un-
dertook to pull the hair out of his head by
handfuis, aad was very much astonished
when he found that, in the excess of his grief,
he had pulled his best wig to pieces. There
is good deal of hair pulling by sorry people
now. Some men, when there is a right and
wrong way to do thing, always take the
latter. We recollect old parson Carver once
mounted his apple tree, and sawed off limb,
but accidently stood on the part that he sawed
off, and came duwn, as he afterwards naiverly
expressed it, all in a heap, like widow Paurs
Jelly pot, when il slid out of the Window
The lrishman who was walking with scythe
across his neck, when he undertook to kill a
snake on the ground with the end of the snaih,
cut his own head off by sheer accident, and
killed the snake with the whiskey that was
in him. Inquiring minds, in looking after
one thing, almost always find another far BET.
ter than that which first rivetted their atten-
lion. Thus King James, when be endeavor-
ed 10 make baIsam for his bruises, discover
ed cockGLekie, savory soup famous in the
days of the immage breakers of Scotland and
an old monk, in endeavoring to make the elk
ir of life, discovered alcohol in one retort, and
gunpowder in another.
1t is the fate of genius to be eccentric, and
Of drunken men to see double and it always
happens that when man has got through
with the ordinary occupations OF life, he gets
crotchety. Then it is that he endeavors to do
two things at once. Then it is that he spears
at every body and everything, and nothing is
valuable to him unless he finds it forkcd end
dOwn.
The present dynasty is crotchety; it has as
many ways of skinning cat as Joseph An
drews. II carries water on both shoulders,
and has delightful practice of shutting eve
rything that it washes, and soiling everything
that it rinSes. One day il sees war in a top
knot, and cries peace, and prates of keeping
aloof from the wicked ways of quarrelling
world and at another time it gets hold of q
passing lamb, and mounts it, with the roar Of
real African lion.
Lord, how changeable it is now in a sweat
and now in a chill; now il cries good Lord
and now good devil and if by accident it does
what the constitution, common sense, and the
country imperiously require it to do, the press
from the Owls Head Advocate 10 the Squash
town Banner, calls the attention of the worl(
to the fact that the whig dynasty has for once
done its duty, and proved 10 the satisfaction
of all men that it was not quite so bad as they
expected, for it was good for something. Like
tonathan's butter, it would answer Tor cha
fed back if it didn't suit particularly well 10
white bread. The Regency, now they hav'
got REY and the SECOND WASHINGTON back
are putting on airs again. Again they hol
sweet councils in out of.the-way places; an
fitting their places of meeting 10 their subjects
fhey have of late taken to the outbuildlngs c
The Treasury. out of sight of Old Whitley an
his master The other day, when the Frenc
ministers case was up, they gathered, llk
bees, around a certain outbuilding well know
TO the departments as the place of the AS
bury clock" Since then, we understand
they have changed their way of swearing. !
is by Shrewsbury clock no longer, but b
"Asbury clock > and when they wish 10 b
very positive, they add, "spouts and all"
is cunning Regency, and sits about fro:
hall TO cow-pasture, like the Continental Cor
gress in the revolutionary war. The othe
day, we understand, it met in Oliver Oldschooi
room. in the Land Office, OLIVER in the chat
and JUsTUs acting as secretary. as mark {
special favor. The new ticket for the success
sion, of :" Crittenden and Johnson" was fre'
ly and fully discussed, and counter one We
agreed upon-to wit: " Seward and Ewing
Won! the last one get great many Soulher
votes If it don't, what will the South
thinking about =!
The probability of war with France VIZ
also declared imminent; and pretty cause
war, too-Captain Carpenters salvage fl
saving ship in distress We understand Il
Second Washington, after much deliberatio
has determined to be Second Jackson. II
said he has got long pipe with bambc
stem, and has been down to Millss mod
room after dark, trying to mount Old Hlck
rvs war-horse, which is there in plaster, re
dv for ironing. He, however, made thr