The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1849-08-22
:a6@relg1esecse@.
Robert Stimson, Esq.,
SHOWING HOW BOB CAUGHT a MERMAID.
BY JULIUS.

Bob was Gothamitc, the third son
and the ninth child, joint production
of e staunch old 'Knickcrbockcr' and
West Indian Creole, rather a sin
gular union, but decidedly a prolific
one. Stimson, senior, bcinyin what pa
ragraphists term easy circumstances,
remarkable fccundi:y of Mrs. S. was the
not bcmoaned as a misfortune.
Bob had six sisters, short and fat.
good naturcd and loquacinus. Ian
guage' was large throughout the faini-
ly; fully up to chronological ~ talk
ing that figure rs the maximum Of the
ratio of comparison. 'Mirth' and
Tune especially, the latter, were also
very generally and powerfully dcvclc p
cd on the dark haired craniums of the
junior Stimsons. They were all sing
any of the nciyhbors would have
given you that piece of information
without the slightest hesitation, "a reg
ular family choir ; any little impcrlcc-
tions in whose performance we're Ger
tainly not attributable to inusita;ion. -
They were cmphatically musical fam
ily,-lineal descendants from the son
4& 'CalIiopc: practically familiar with
the use of every known musical instru-
ment from 'jcws,harp' to 'bassoon'
or orchestral Serpent, '-bc ginning. Gas
Bob said, } early, and taking to it ma
turally. This was not yery surprising,
although the pcrtinacity and utter dis
regard Of time and place evinced i'll the
indulgence Of the family propensity,
certainly aOas remarkable, so much SO
that there was ordinarily an immense
amount of moving going Oh i'll Slim
sons vicinity every May-day. 1t was
n chief misfortune Of theirs ard a stand
ing subject for remark with them, that
they were forever surrounded by nr
musical people, creatures who had no
taste for music, who had even gone 50
far as to demonstrate againet what one
brute had denominatcd as their 'infcrn-
al hullaballoo.'
They were familiarly known in the
neighborhood as the noisy ninc!!' sim,
iltude doubtless intended to be applied
to the unfortunate daughters of Pier,
os,' (who failed in their contest with
the MUSES. and were cruelty transform.
ed into Magpies therefore, rather than
the legitimate Nine Of classical noto.
riety. This, however, they bore with
exemplary equanimity. Truly, as Bob
said, t was of no use getting angry at
man who was so musically oLtusc rs
to call scientific execution Of the
Battle of Prague on six different in
struments, "a laundering nuisance as
did one neighbor, upon certain occa-
sion, who had halloocd himself hoarsc
from an opposite window in demanding Z
an Immediate cessation Of what he was
pleased to term the 'cnrscd uproar,'
upon pain of a complaint to the mayor
.on the following morning.
But our business is with Bob, not
with his sisters or their accomplish.
ments. In addition to the musical ia.
Guilty Of the inherent power of which
he would statc,-in illustration, that
when but three years old he could, up.
on common comb, covered with thin
paper, produce sounds so clo2cly rcscm
bling those Of a violin and perform ccr.
tain tunes with such power and accura
cy as to induce an old blind gentleman
in an opposite dwelling incontincntly tc
throw out pennies from his chamber
window in the belief that it was the
performance of some street minstrel
with view to aims, This, Bob would