The Mississippi Creole. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1841-1851, 1849-11-24
SHORT PATENT SERMON.
BY DOW, IR.

~ ett 4 vi q Whulba anu uO uilSNhh6
1t is not because | contain a saperabundance
Of blubber that Pm a whale, but rather for the
reason that Pm SO given 10 spouting. There
are thousands that consider me a whale Of the
largest species, while ], ia return for their fool
ishness, look upon them as very small fry, in
deed, and scarcely worthy Of a mud gudgeon's
notice. The fact is, my friends, tnis billowy
world in which we are spawned, may properly
be considered one vast ocean, and lis inhabl
tants, fishes Of all sorts, all sizes, grades and
classes. Some are scaly, some are Shiny,
some are soft, some are smooth, and some
are solid and consistent, clean through, from
the dorsal to the ventral fin. OF the scaly
tribe | may mention those suckers belonging
to the body lOaferish, that never rise to the
surface Of responsibility, but are always grow
cling in the mud Of corruption, whose sole
study appears to be to see how much they can
get with the least physical exeriOn; and who
would rather ride down to hell in q hand cart.
than walk up to heaven supported by the staff
Of industry. The Shiny sort are those who
make pretensions TO uprightness and purity Of
character, and are the lowest and flthiest ef
the whole homo fshO tribe. They look well
enough Outwardly but they won't do to handle.
The gloss that gIows upon them is but the glu-
tinous exuberance of Ubiquitous deception /;
and no one who has moral courage TO NEEDLE
with them can ever come of with clean hands.
They swim up the brackish creeks Of pollution
riot in all kinds Of debaucheries-they come
back and rub their slime upon the silks and
satins of %virtuous society; and sport aboat in
the sunny wave Of independence, as though
they were goldfish Of admiration, and every
body else nothing but lamprey cells and bull
heads. These are silly fish, my friends, that
bite at every bait Of pleasure which the devil
throws out, and are so often caught, but let go
again to feed and fatten on the fruits Of their
own follies until they become fit for that table
which is kept constantly spread in the great
kitchen cellar of Beelzebub, The soft species,
my friends, are the handles, with more gills
than brains-whose vanity makes q very good
pickle in cold weather, when mixed with a.
plenty of sauce and impudence. The smooth
kind are those whom it is the fashion OF the
day to call gentlemen. The scales OF vuIgaTi-
~ upon their backs are so fine and delicate
that they are scarcely peFceptible to the touch
Of sensibility; and yet, when seen through the
magnifying glass of jealousy or envy, they
protrude in every direction like the hairs of a
cat when mOlested by a misunderstanding dog.
The solid and consistent are those who are
blessed with more common sense than learning
who are SO loaded down with reason that
they never float ON ths surface Of the worlds
wide sea for the purpose of catching those fe
male gilded flies of fashion which are ever
sporting in the sunshine Of etiquette. No
they swim deeper in the waters OF sound judg-
ment and pick up the pearls that the foolish
nd extravagant cast from them They are
fishes Of more intellect than ladder, and more
honesty than c%onceit.
Nv Dear Friends: Take the world as a whole
it is a union of small potatoes and little fishes;
but there is now and then q whale swims up
the harbor Of society, causing the waves OF So
ciety to roll with unwonted fury, while myri-
ads Of little fishes cape with wonder and aston.
ishment. There is German lady, for instance,
called Fanny ElsIer, who has learned the art Of
putting one leg before the other, and the other
conside lably higher than one, in a scientific
manner. She is thought to be a whale of the
largest species; but she is nothing more than a
note Of admiration after ala mere point IN
the book of Accommodating more than a
woman wreathed in the artificial flowers OF
homage--more admired than respected, more
talked Of by the supercilious and extravaganza
than cOurted by the wise and good. Still
wherever she goes, ten thousand little fishes
follow in her wake, with mouths wide open
with wonder, ready to sacrifice both money
and character for the sake Of gratifying some
unhallowed desire, which they can no more
account for than young duck can for its natu'
raj antipalhy to Overshoes and umbrellas.
MY Hearers, You are little fishes in th'
80
sight Of omnipotence; but you shouldn't maxi
yourselves smaller than you really are. Be
cause you happen to come across an occasion
al whale, il is the syrup Of nonsense to draw
yourselves up Into an almost imPerceptibI
speCk Of animation, through a fearful respeC
! of nominal greatness; for, though comparative
/, ly small in your own estimation, you may on
> day become whales yourselves, by the ala Q
: fortune or circumstances, to be worshlPPed Q.
/ mermaids, sea-horses, solutions and catfish
5 But, my dear friends, if you would ray nth
+ less regard to whales and stand more IN W Q
the multitude Of land sharks that depredate 3
, much in this world Of credulity, folly and ig
norance, you would be safe in the beginning
3 safer IN the middle, and better off in the enc
The whole community is composed Of q seal
' shoal Of fishes that prey upon one another, 10