Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1849-10-10
M | S C e L l. A N Y.
Hail Wa2l1cc--A HsecOllectiOn.
By The .4uthor Of. Recollections Of The Peninsula.
-"No, sir, quoth he,
Call me not fool. "-iShakespedre.


There is scarcely village any where in the wide
world but has in it some half wt,ed being, whom
the very children feel privileged to mock. How
often do we see such crazy unfortunate, followed
by little tribe of urchin tyrants, tormenting and
torurlag it some by the nickname and cruel laugh
some by the mouth awry the broad grimmace /;
others by The sly pull at the ragged shirt, and few
by the coward stone and the loud shout of triumph
the little mob will give when they succeed in max
ing the poor creature turn and stand at bay or run
after them in fierce, but happily for Them in i'm
potent anger Such sight is not uncommon and
to a man of thought and feeling, is very humilia-
ting and affecting.
1.-THE little dogs and all,
Tray, Blanch, and Sweetheart, Sec they bark at me-"
cies Lear in his mad misery. SIS there any cause
in nature that makes these hard hearts 2" All me /!
fear there IS. Kit Wallace, call thee up from
thy grave. Let me paint thy portrait, record thy
wrongs, and relate thy death. 1t may be some poor
feebleminded being shall be treated the better for
this sketch of thy noffensive life some stick shall
be raised in defence Of mobbed miserable some
word Of kindness be spoken into ear accustomed
only to revng and reproach.
remember, in the ardent and joyous DAYS my
early military life-when my laughter was 'like
the cracking of thorns under pot''-a poor half
wtted man who had enlisted into the regiment,
know not when or how.
he was certainly, poor fellow, to use the favor
lite phrase OF the rill-sergeant OF his ajeStys
hard bargains. He was not crazy, he was not an
idiot, so there was way of getting him discharg
ed for at that period inspecting generals very
strict about discharges; but he smpletUn OF
the sillest. The intelligence ofa child was greater
1t was ill-treament at home, or inveigled by some
adroit recruiting sergeant, who wanted to pocket
The bringing money-ior in regiment he was sure
to be clothed, fed, taken care Of, and governed
Poor Kit, to make soldier of him was impossible
However, he had eyes, arms, and legs, and, as he
would not these last to desert, to get rio of him
was impractcable. He had SLOUGH and he was
sloveD. He never stood in the proper position of a
soldier, did ne ever put on his clothes and APP
pontments like one. Officers and drll-sergean,s
gave him up in despair. He sunk into sort Of
privileged characer-one who was
"Unapt to learn, and formed of stubborn stuff
Kit was.in the company Of which was the lieu
tenant for while my pupil, but and for years
my torment and my plague and oftentimes. q
write it with blushj otentmes my jest. Upon
inspection and days hid him well as
could put him on a rear-guard or in an awkward
squad of lately joined recruits employed him iol
the day as cook, or on fatigue duty, or as line
or barTack orderly; some out of the-way post OF
corner was found in which TO conceal Kit but IT.
owing TO untoward circumstances such an arrange
rient could not be effected, would get him wei
cleaned and his appointments well put on by one Of
Lne SdIteSI Oh my COPOIdI5, ana LnPE place MIN "
the rear rank, and clever sergeant behind, with
his eyes constantly on him TO prevent him from dis
crediting the company by his blunders.
! 1t may be supposed that stich subject soon be
came the butt Of his comrades. They never want
cd joke when he by-they tornented hin
necessarily. They played him tricks at which he
/ himself gave the laugh of Stiffness, while at other:
he would blubber like baby On these last occa
sions would rebuke him and punish the men bu
] often, too often shared in their laughter Poo
Kit he went with us to the PENINSULA remem
Der Lin well in our marches there. My old cap
tain, who was one of the best tempered men eve
met with, would sometimes be provoked into a vic
lent possion with him and, while he punished hal
the company fol- teazng him, would threaten, in
voice Of thunder, ''to ride down Kits throat!v
The only threat that ever el1ectuay silcnced hin
when he was in the mood 10 blubber and below
and the only punishment, if threat be punish
ment, he ever received.