The miners' express. (Dubuque, Iowa) 1849-1854, 1849-12-12

getting another Mrs. Nippers near home, and
whether he was as bad to his first wife as they
said he was or not, one thing is certain, lie had
to look abroad for some one to fill her place.
Mr.. Nippers was very lucky in finding a gal
Just to his mind, what lived ten miles from his
plantation. Nancy Parker was rich, and though
she wasn't very young nor very handsome, she
belonged to the Nippers church, and filed his
eye exactly; so he sot in courtin her with all
his might. Ten miles was a good long ride,
and as he was an economical man, he used to
ride over to old Mrs. Parker's plantation every
Sunday morning, to 60 to church with the fam
lily, take dinner with them, and ride back in the
cool of the evening. In that way he managed to
kill two birds with one stone; that is, to advance
the prospect of his happiness on this earth, and
the world to come, without losing any of his
weekday time. 'a. -...... s
A ride over dusty road, is apt to soil gem
tleman's dry goods, and make him and his horse
very tired. However, Mr.. Nippers did not
mind the fatigue as much as horse; but in a
matter sch as he had in hand, it was very i'm
portant that he should make as good all impress
sion as possible, 50 he adopted plan by which
he was able to present himself before the object
of his affections in order, with his Sunday coat
as clean, and his blooming rutfies as fresh and
neat, as if they had just come out of a band
box. This was happy cxpedicnt and what
no body but widower lover would think of. He
used to start from home with his new coat and
shirt tied up in pocket handkerchief, and after
riding within quarter of mile of Mrs. Par
kers plantation he would turn off into thicket
of chincapin bushes, and there make his rural
toilet
One bright Sunday morning, Mr.. Nippcrs had
arrived at his dressn' ground. 1t was an impor-
tant occasion. Every thing was promisin' and
he had made up his mind topop the question that
way lox Il Ia Al
he would return home an engaged man. and he
was rcckonin' to himself the value of Miss
Nancy's plantation, and niggers, while he was
sc;.in' on his horse maxim his accustomed
change of dress.
He had dropped the rc:ns on his horse s neck,
wf1t was browsin' about, maxim up his last
nights scanty feed from the bushes in his reach,
and kickin' and stompin' at such flies as was
feedin' on him in return
"Ill fix the business this timc,'' scs Mr.. Nip
pers 10 himself, ''lll bring things to pint this
time scs he, as he united the handkerchief
with his clean clothes, and spread them on the
saddle bow.
"Wo, Ball." ses he, give lust got to say the
word, and-wo!" scs he to his horse, what was
kickin' and rearin' about. Wo. you crsscd
old fool-and the business is settled, Just like
tallin' off log
He was DRAWN his shirt over his head, when
Ball gave sudden spring what like to made him
lose his balance. "Wo,' scs he; but before he
could get his arms cut of the sleeves Ball was
whcelin' and kckn' like wrath at something
that seemed to trouble him behind. Down went
the clean clothes, shirt and all, on the ground,
" Blast yer internal pictur-wo, now scs Mr..
Nlppers, grabin at tho rcins But before he
C uld get hold of 'em, Ball was off like streak
of Lglltnn with whole swarm of yellow jack
cts round his tail.
Mr.. Nippcrs grabbed hold of his name, and
tried TO stop the horse, but it was no use. Away
went the infatuated Ball, and tafin' the road he |
was used to travelin another moment brung him
to the house. The gate was open, and in dashed
the horse with the almost naked Nippers hang;n'
to his neck, hollerin' 6 stop him hornets. hor-
netst' as loud as he could scream
On came the dogs, and after the horse they !
went round and round the house, scattcrin the |
ducks and chickens, and terrfyin' the little nig-
gers out Of their senses. The noise brung the
wmmin to the door.
"Dont look, Miss Nancy. hornets. wo.
Isetch him - shouted the unclad Nippcrs, as
with spent breath he dashn' out of the gate
agin with the dogs sill after him, and his
horses tail switchin' in cvcny direction, like
young hurrycane. Miss Nancy got one glimpse
of her torlorn lover and before she could get her
apron to hcrcycs, she tainted at the awful sight(V
while his last rccccdin' voice, cryn' "horncts
stop hI,E hornets" still rung in her cars !