Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1849-04-11
nj | S G T. l. l. A N Y.
A SWINDLER WITH HIS TEETH OUT.

Our readers, says PHILADELPHIA paper. will
doubtless recollect a MIR. Lister, who some weeks
since, cut dash IN this city, as the proprietor of
magnificent ,hreatre winch was 10 have been cree
led In the Northern Liberties-on the strength of
which he made large contracts, and did various
splendid things which theatrical propretors have
right to do. At the time of that explosion he dis
appeared, and 1t was thought had departed to adorn
some other congenlal sphere, where he might enter
into other large contracts and bedaZzle the simple
town folks. Whether he was turned off like Gas
lamp, ready to be lighted again at the first oppor-
tunty, or whether, like portable gas, he was not
hxture but could be transferred from place to place.
we Know not but certain it is, that he is once more
on the field OF his late exploits, prepared to aston
ism the natives This time, however, he eSchews
the purchase of theatres. and large ships for Cali
lorna, and confines himself to the more legitimate
business OF marrying rich mems daughters.
Week before last, a very gentlemany looking
person called upon one of our eminent surgeon dem
lists, residing in Pine street, and was shown into
the elegantly furnished office
"Ah, DOCTOR" said the gentleman, as the opera
tor upon the moers made his appearance, "I'm ex-
ceedlngiy glad to you. Pve got a very extensive
Job for you, which will pay extremely well. You
know how dllatory people are about having opera
tlons in dentistry performed but | must have it
done i'oto-you would hardly suppose ,chu doctor,
would you d?
Tooth ache, suppose-eXtremely painful q
perhaps abscess under tho right bicuspid 2" sup-
gested the dentist.
"La bless you, no--not anything of the kind.
Pm going TO be marred!"
"JMdryied ?'
misunderstanding creature, too!-the
daughter of the rich W. handsome as Venus
and wealthy as Pluto's eldest! You have seen her
perhaps splendid girl-loves me 10 destruction !!
Must have these sixteen teeth out, though"
''Want 'em all out, eh 2" said our dental friend
Eyes, want 'em all Quit You know there'll be
so much kissing, and it's so unpleasant to have a
BAD breath-so Pm going TO have every fellow out,
and you must have new set made by next We'd
nesday evening, when the wedding takes place.
snail be happy TO see you there. or course you
comeIo
Thank you'll shall be pleased to accept the
invitation; bu, can't make new set of teeth by
the next Wednesday these matters require time
the wounds will be scarcely healed"
"Nell, never miD1-it must be done somehow:
try and patch 'em up. | must have the old teeth
out-Inust have temporary set TO use--and must
be married next "Wednesday night. There's no
thing more to be said so get out your instruments
and haul away
90 pereinPtoTy customer could not be denied by
our friend the dentist and so, fixing the gentleman
who was 10 be married in his operating Chair. and
getting out his apparatus, he went TO work al the
strangers jaws. Molar followed molar. incsor was
i"iu W hlCiS), anu STinUer was deposited by grind
or, until the bloody bodies of sixteen of the captive
snmPs were laid in dreadful pile by the dentists
chair Then only did the doctor stay his weather
hand, and the bleeding gums Of the gentleman Cd
posed to bad breath Were allowed respite. Muir
muTlng many thanks for the promptness of the Oh
Grafton, the customer who had lost so many worries
Withdrew, promising to be back in time to have fl,
| ted Temporary set, and begging, by all means
that his friend the doctor, would consider himself
invited specially TO the wedding Of himself and Mr.
VS. daughter.
But. alas! how uncertain is everything shbluna-
ry Ere the happy Wednesday came, dread sur
misses arose as 10 the identity of Mr. Willoughby
the gentleman who lost his teeth and 1t was hint
ca that he was 10 better than an impostor. Mr.
W, whose fair daughter was to bless the arms
OF the gallant gentleman who lost his teeth in order
70 save his breath, Indignantly denied trio match
which had become pretty well blazoned abroad, and
denourcedd his supposed son-iu-Iaw as an mpos;or
whom neither he nor his daughter knew and the
question arose straightway, who was he for, in
tne commencement Of the ouicry, he had disappear
Cd. Who was hc7--wllo? The answer was al
most spontaneous Lister, tho genius whose pr,nke