Wisconsin tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1847-1854, 1849-06-01
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From the Spirit of the Times
DOING ALANDLORD: OR, GETTING
THE VALUE ONT.
UBLIsBED EVERY FRIDAY,

DOING A LANDLORD: OR, GETTING
THE VALUE ONT.
Mr.. Spirit Shortly after the completion
of the .'Great National Road through Ohio
the incident which am about to relate occur
red.
There was a quiet little village through
which this "Road'' passed, Hotel whe re
the stage always changed, and the passeng ers
expected to get breakfast. The landlord of
said Ho.el was noted for his tricks upon trav-
ellers,' VINO were allowed 10 get fairly seat
ed at the table, when the driver would blow
his horn latter taking his h0rns) and sing out
Stage ready gentlemen" whereupon the
passengers were obliged to hurry out and take
their seats, leaving scarcely tasted break
fast behind them, for which, however, they
had TO fork over Fifty Cents. Time and place
YOU have, now for the ho,c our hero succeed
ed in
DOING LANDLORD: on, GETTIN' The VAL
UE ONT.
~Tf were to commence thus: AT sunrise,
one lovely morning in the month of June, in
the year, solitary hOrseman might be
seen" &c. &c, you might think g. p. r.
James was your correspondent. But TO our
subject.
The hero | speak of. was one Of mine male
passengers In a stage coach which was slow
one cold morning IN February, lS3-.
"Gentlemen,' said one of the nine II have
often travelled this road before, and, out of good
feeling to all, will caution you against hug
cling the deIusive phantom of hope" as re-
CARDS getting breakfast at the Hotel we are
approaching"
What ?-how7 No breakfast - exclsim-
ed the rest.
Exactly so, gents, and you may as well
kcek your seals and tin.
''Don's they expect passengers to break
Fast"
..Oh YES they expect you TO IL, but not to
cat Il. | am under the impression that there
Is an understanding between the landlord and
driver that for sundry and various drinks, etc.
the latter starts before you can scarcely COM
mence eating"
.Why, wot on sirth mir yew talkin, 'bout
Efyou calkerlate I'm goin'to pay flour nine
pense" fur my breakfuss and not git the valLee
ont, you AIR mistaken !" said voice from the
back seat, the owner of which one Eez-
ekiah Spauding-though 'tetU hum" they
called s'Rez" for short. ''l'n goin' tew gil
my breakfuss yere, and not pay nary red cent
till | dew
Then you'll be left.
well, we'll see," said the other, az the
stage drove up TO the door, and the landlord
ready 10 lido the hospitsble," says
Breakfast just ready, gents Take wash
gents Here, water, basins, towels, and
soap"
After performing their additions, they all
proceeded TO the dining room, and common
ced fierce onslaught upon the edibles, thro
'.Hez' took his time. Scarcely had they
tasted their coffee, when they heared the IN
welcome sound of the horn, and the driver
exclaimed 'Stdge ready ~ Up rise eishl
heir TT md
take their seats,
.All aboard, gents - inquired the host.
zone missing" said they.
Proceeding to the dining room, the host
finds Hez very coolly helping himself TO an
immence piece of steak, the 'size of horses
lip"
You'll be left, sir! Stage is going tc
start ~
''Wal, haint got nothiu' tew say again =
drawls out Hez.
Cant wait, sir, better take your seat"
.'De,c t0ot -
''Get IN, sir"
an be gaul-darned eff dew. nuther, It'll
I've got my breaktuss | paid for it. and In
goir' TO CIT the udlee ONT ~ and eff yew callatt
/ ain't yew air mistakin.''
So the stage did start, and left Hez. who
continued his attack of the edibes. Buiscut
coffee, steaks, &c. &C., disappeared rapidly
before the eyes OF the aStonlshed landlord
Say, Squire, them there cakes is bOtf
East fetch us nuther grist on 'em. YOU
TO the waiter j ''nuther cup ov that thar cof
fee. Pass them eggs" RAISE yew're OWL
pork. Squire this is mazin' nice ham,
Land bout yere tolerable cheap, Squire p
Haunt got much maple timber in these part:
hev We! Dewn' right smart trade, Squire
calate. Don't lay ye,e're otcn eggs. despDe p
and thus Hez kept quizzing the landlord, un
I'll he had made hearty meal.
..Say, Squire, now Pm bout tew conclude
pawn my dero,cers tew this ere table. bnt .
vew'd JUS Civ us bowl o'bread and mill
few sorter top off with, I'd he obleeged tev
ye.'
So ont goes landlord and waiter for tn
bowl, milk, and bread. and set them befor
Hez.
"Spetcn, te,c, sf .yev please -
But no spoon could be found. Land-lor
was sure he had plenty siirir ones laying o
the table when the stage stopped.
Say yew dew you think them passenger
* goim'tew pay yew for breakfuss and nc
Get no con.pensashun 1''
All ,--what. Do Won think any o. ID
EasSee.ers fork tae,n7''