Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1849-08-02
MISCELLAIN EOUS.
II. D. On D. j..
IMoALANS Curiosity

/ Week before last the brethren Of the
\ Lodge Of Odd Fellows lat Woodstown, N.
I D., determinedto have their HallNswept out
\ and cleaned, when 1t was unanimously re-
1 solved that Mrs Keep SECRET should be call
I cd upon to do The job
4 After the lneetingEhad adjourned, the lamp
lighter, who well knew tile inquisitivc char
/ acter of Mrs Keep Secfet, went and pro,
cured monstrous Billy goat, and placed it
in the closet which WAS Kept as reservoir
for all secret things. He then proceeded to
/ the domicil Of the gpod lady, Informed her
Of the job Of cleaning and sweeping the
Hall, and requested her to come early next
morning, as lie would bel at leisuse to show
her what was to be done. s
The morning came, and with it Madam
Keep Secrctappcarea acccording to promise,
with her broom, brushes, pals, tubs, .&c-4
| Doorkeeper III waiting foil her. "
Now madam, said the mischievous Door
keeper, | RillItell you whatwe want done,
and how We come to employ you
One of the brethren said it would be diff
cut to get anybody tp do the job, who would
not be Modelling with our secrets in rthat
closet, because we've lost the key and can't
lock it assured them that you could be
trusted, and 90 they ordered me to call on
you, as I1knew you could be depended upon
M Depended upon, n says Madam, Il guess
4 cam my poor dead and gone husband,
who belonged to the Free Masons or Anti,
Masons, / don't know which, used to tell me
the secrets Of the consarn, and when he
showed me tic marks of the gridiron when
be was initiated, and told ME all s,how they
fixed poor Morgan, never told alvin soul
to this day. and ifinGbody troubles the closet
to find out ydlr secrets till, do, they'll all
lay there till they rot that they will 1"
thought SO, says the the Doorkceper,
| !. and now wantyou toIcommence at that
corner" pointing with bis finger to place
| where some undignifed and indecent brother
had thrown out guilds of tobacco, VI and give
the whole room a decent cleansing, and /
have pledged my w9rd and honor for your
fidelity to promises ssLL5F don't 90 in that
closet and then left our old lady to herself
No sooner had she heard the sound of his
feet upon the last step Of the stairs, than
she exclaimed that closet what on earth
can be there TN warrant theresa gridi-
ron, or some such nonsense, just like the
Anti Masons for all the world, I'll be bound
I'll just take d peepin and nobody will be
any the wiser but me, ana can keep it to
myself Suitingi tile action to the word,
she stepped softly toIthe door of tho forbid
den cioset-turncd the butten-which No
sooner done, than ba. ba, ia, went Billy, with
spring to regain His liberty, which came
nigh upsettipg her ladyship. Both started
for the doorway, which was filled with her
implements of housekeeping, when all was
swept clear from their positions to the bot
tom Of the stairs. The noise and confusion
occasionally by such au unceremonious coming
down stairs, drew half tile town to witness
Mrs Keep Secrets efforts to get from under
pile Of goat, pals, tubs, brooms and scIub-
bing brushes
Who should be FIRST On the spot but the
rascally doorkeepcr, who, after releasing the
goat, who was made cripple for life, and
Snnpiling the other rubbish which bound the
good lady tpIthc floor, anSiously inquired if
She had been taking the \ degrees
Taking the degrees, exclaimed our Ia
dy, sif yoa call tumbling from the top TO
the bottom Of the stairs, with a tarnal goat
to jump upon ye as ye Ga, taking things BY
degrees / have; and if yc generally fright
en- folks ms bad as yei have me, and hurt 'cln
10 boot, Illwarrant ye they'll make as much
noise as me
& hope you did not open the closet, Mad
am ~ said tie doorkecpcr.
open the closet an sure I did and
T! didn't Eve eat the apple when forbidden
If you want q woman to do anything, tell
| her not to, andlshesll do itisartin. / couldn't
stand the temptation There was theseeret
| wanted to know it, and as opened The
closet, out popped the tarnal goat, right in
my face / thought besure twas the Devil
/ and / run for the stairs, with it at my heels
i when fell over the tubs, and we all arrived
at the bottom as you found US, in heap to
4 getherh
But Madam says the doorkeeper, ayor
are in possession Of the great secret Of tn,
Order, and You must go up and be initiated
and sworn. Sworn and ride the goat tht
\ regular way
4 Regular way exclaimed the lady, d
you suppose I'm going ~ go near that taEna
4 critter again--and without bride Or lady
saddle--nD, never, don't want nothih' I
do with i'll or man that rides it. I'd lool
nice perched On goat wouldn't : III
nerer 60 near it again, nor your Hall nuther
and If can prevent il. no lady shall eve
join any Of the Odd Fellows Why, T.,
sooner Be Free Masonor Anti Mason ans
Be broiled on ) gridiron IS long as FIRE coul'
Be kept under Il, and pulled from garrett i
cellar with halter In pair Of old breeche
and slippers, just as my poor dead and gOn
husband used to tell me they served him
and be lived over such ride as took wit
the goat to-day, and you may rest assured
Il ekall rfrtf1s eee 4 roak hfit what thall Tim