The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1849-03-28
81 rem SMeeis lEPicussan BuIl Ilctt,s. y
EiSyisFss FAMILY SEC EC CRETS. n

hrm believers IN the prophecy Of Rather.
Miller; and not doubling for q momentth
correctness of; their prophet 8 calculations,
they set about making active preparations
for the eYentful day that was to terminate
the existence Of oil sublunary things. AT.
ter having t'set their house in ORDER" the
following conversation took place:
Husband My dear wife, believe |
have made every preparation for to.mor-
ro,o. I:have forgiven all my enemies,
and prayed for the forgiveness Of all my
sins, and | feel perfectly calm and resign
ed. ;i$
Wife-Well husband, believe am
ready for the sound of the trumpet.
Husband-l'm reJoiced to hear it.
But, my dear wife, have no doubt there
are many little domestic secrets which
have been KEEP, hidden from each other,
which, had they been known at the time Of
their occurrence, might have produced
unpleasant feelings, but as we have but
but one day more to live, let us unbosom
ourselves freelyto to each other.
Wife-Well husband you arc right;
there are some lille things that never
told you, and which intended should re-
mnin between me and my God; but Us we
have but one day left, reckon it's right
10 make q clean breast TO each other.
am ready; you begin, husband. sss
Husband-No, dear, you begin.
Wife-No, husband, you begin--.I
can't. 8
Husband-No; you know, my love,
Paul says husbands have right to COM
mand their wives. 1t is your duty as
Christian woman to obey your husband,
and the father of your children. So, be-
gin, love.
Wife-In the sight Of God l reckon it's
right; so, Twill tell you, dear husband, our
eldest son, William, is not your child.
Husband Gree. God Mary! never
dreamed ofyour being untrue 10 me! Is
that so?
Wife (intears)-Ycs, God forgive me,
it istrue. know thai did very wrong,
and am very sorry for it; but in an evil
hour fell, and there's no help for it now.
Husband-William not mine! In the
name of God, ,chosc child is .he2
Wife-He's Mr.. Graham's, tho con.
stable. The Lord be near YOU poor wife!
Husband $50, William ain't nv child!
Go on.
Wife.--Well, our daughter Mary, nam.
ed after me, ain't your's neither.
Husband Saluation! Talk on Mary,
leone right out. Who's Mary's father2
Wife.--Mr. Grider, the man that built
the meeting house, and went to the lower
country.
Husband -(resignedly)--- Well, as there
is but one day more, I'll bear it; SO, 20 on,
if you have any thing else.
Wife---Well, there's our youngest
liusband.l suppose Jenny amt mine!
Wife.--No, dear husband, Jenny, that
zoe both love SO we'll, amt your'n neither.
Husband --MercJuz Lord! Is that So?
In the name of Heaven, schose is he?
Wife---He is the one eyed shoemaker's,
that lives at the forks Of the road.
Husbnnd-.-W by Heavens!..-G
briel. blo'o your horn! ! WANT TO GO
NOW!
CUR1osITIEs.-A plate Of butter from
the "cream Of joke"
The last contract with the strade
Winds"
A small quantity Of tar supposed to
have been left where the lsraeiites pitch.
ed their tents.
The original brush used in painting the
"signs ofthe times"
The apple Of the "eye Of faith"
A bucket of water from calls WE'LL"
Some small coins in the "change of the
moon."
Too Much OF FIURRY.-A lady
leaving New York day or two ago, lust
as they were raising the plank of the
steamboat, cried out to her husband,
"Goodness, George, must go back to the
Asor House-l've left my teeth in the
Washbowl."
"Silencc! keep silence in COURT" said
an angry judge. "Here we have Judged
q dozen causes this morning, and ! have
not heard word Of one of Them"
Vat you makes dare? hastily inquired
dutchman of his daughter, who was
oeing kissed by her sweetheart very
clamorously: %, not much, Just court.
ing little, dat's ALL 'Oho! dat's all, eh?
py TAM taught you vas vighting.'
EQUlvocAL CoMPLHdENT.-The Phila.
delphia Times says:
"Mad. Laborde is praised to death in
the Boston papers.--She merits it,"
Both the Times and The Bostonians,
then favor capital punishment.-..Nor.
Herald.
a !ERMAGANT.--"What! Mrs. Bellyille
beats her husbands"
eyes, madam constantly"
"Horrid woman!'
"Ah! but it's only at chess"
tArrah. mister ond bnw lo 80 -,