The daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1848-1851, 1849-03-01
DODGING A MILITIA FINE.
BY THE YOUNG UN.

In DAYS gone by, when the objectionable militia
laws were in force in old Massachusetts, the Gus
tomarv draft was made in country town lew
miles from Boston, and notice to appear, armed
and equipped, according to law, was LETT at the
clearinghouse of wag, who possessed very little
martial :. music - in his soul. Determined that he
would neither train - nor pay a fine, and enter
tanning wtha, very Indifferent opinion OF the
utility of the system, he took no notice OF the SUM
mons Having been duly " warned. however, as
he anticipated at the expiration OF few weeks Inc
sergeant waited upon him with Il bill OF nine shll-
lings for non-attendance at the muster.
!'You re fined, sir-nne shillings-non- appear
ance."
what is it, asked the wag, pretending to
misunderstood the collector.
&C Fine for not training" baWled the other.
ssShan't paw it, fellow"
cit will be three dollars next time call"
But the wag could Mt hear word he said, and
in the course of another month he received per-
emptory summons TO appear forthwith at court
martial in the district instituted for the purpose OF
could be scared out Of the formers of duty.
Having fixed upon final plan to dodge the issue,
at the appointed hour he waited upon the court to
show cause, if any he had, why he should MT will
linglv have toted a musket and knapsack about the
town for twelve mortal hours, and otherwise per-
form the legal annual duties of a live patriot
He was ushered into thecourt-room immediately
which was held IN an old country house-Where
he discovered some three four persons seated, at
tired in fiashy regimentas, and whose awful " yal-
Ter epoletts " alone We're sufficient 10 command the
attention and respect of the profoundest behoder.
Though somew hat disconnected at this rather unex-
pected exhibition of spurs and buttons, he put a
bold face on the matter, and responding to the d.
rections of the Junior member of the august court,
he advanced TO the table, and the chief functonary
commenced the examination.
''Your name, sir +! u
l. IL I, al nnJp
of his head, without uttering WORD or moving d
9. What is your name J" repeated the questoner,
"A little louder" said the wag, without replying.
"Name ?'' shouted the Judge.
"Taunton, Bristol county,
"What business do you followF'
"Main street, said the delinquent.
"Your business ~ yelled the officer.
"Right- Landslide as you go up
Chow long have you been there -
About two les and halt.
"How old are YOU, fellow!" continued the
Judge, nervously.
g Bossscarpenter." 49,
What the devils the matter with your ears o.
doctor Searpie's oil, sometimes.
"What sir?"
"Sometiraes Cure'em's ointment"
"Why don't you answer me !"
"Nearly five years"
"He's as deaf as an adder remarked the
Judge, turning around to his subordinates, ear
nestly "Clear the lubber OUT"
You are not liable to perform military duty,
said the secretary, with his mouth close to the
wag's ear.
III knoro that" said the fellow, cooy
''His hearing improves" ventured the sergeant
eWhat do you suppose we sit here for'" asked
the Judge, in loud voice, at last.
"a dollar and half day." said the prisoner
s He may go, Mr.. Sergeant
"You can CO." said the under officer, pointing
| to the door.
But our friend took no notice of the order.
"You may SOL" yelled the Judge. Good God
| is it possible a man can be as deaf all that %
81 can't say continued the delinquent, pre-
tending not to understand yet; bat should thinkI
"Go-goi'' screamed the Judge; " there's moth
| ing to pay The Lord pity the general who had
regiment like you to command. Show him tn
| door, major;' and our hero soon found himself a
| liberty.
He was never again summoned to train, durin
| his residence in Taunton IN Y. Spirit.