Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1849-05-30
JOHN SMITH.

.Ark5nSaS, on COiiGCtlnS eSpeulilo'
had occasion to call upon customer
who we shall call John Smith-nct the
Immortal JOHN SmiIh Jr., who write:
for the newspapers bu, in all probability
a relation OF the great original whose
portrait hangs upon a peg against the
cabin wall. Being, as he thought in The
ncighborhood, not knowing precisely
The whedreabout Of The aforesaid join
Smilll, he accosted copperas-striped
specimen of the old North Carolina
State, who was rather lisilessly engaged
in front Of cabin, hrwing out an axle
tree for an ox-calt, from pine 'sapling.
Traveller.-Good morning si'; will
you have The goodness to direct me 10
John Smiths?
N. C.-Cerruinly sir; if there is any
:lIing il this world do know, it is the
way to John Smiths. Why, John
Smith and me came ou. together from
North Carolina, We cut out that new
road leading across that branch and over
tha, hill. We
'FravelIcr.--But sir, will you have
the goodness to tell me where >I.e lives ?
n. C.-To besure | will. AS Il was
saying, it',here is any thing in this world
| do know, it is The road to JOHN Smiths.
Why, sir, John Smith and me married
sisters; and has got the smartest wife in
all these parts. SHE
Travcller.-No doubt Of il; but [
want to sec him, and have nothing to
do with tbe good qualities Of his wife.
Will you direct me +?
N. C..-Of course / will, as / said
before; if there is any thing in the world
do know, Ills The wayto John Smiths.
But as was observing, his wife spins
her six cuts day, besides attending TO
family iiyings.
Traveller--She may spin sixty for
all know or care, but lha, has nothing
to do with my question. | wish to find
her husband-wlI you tell me where lie
lives?
N. C.-WilI I tell you where John
Smilh-lives 2 Well, tl.u,'sa good one.
ltelI YOU again, that if is there anything
in the world CO know, i, is where John
Smith lives. Why, sir, as said before,
we came from North Carolina together.
And lie has yoke Of the tues, pulling
oxen in these parts, His negro man
Jim is the SmarteSt-
Traveller.-My dear sir, it is grow
ing late and I.wish TO ee. on. II you
can direct me. why don't you do il? l
ask yon again if you will direct me to
John Smiths?
n. C.-Hav'nt told You dozen
times ifthere is'any thing in this world
l do know, it is where John Smith
lives? Havn'l | told you that we come
from North Carolina together? Bu,
speaking of lis boy Jim-he can pick
on, his hundred weight Of cotton in a
day. and shell cut "a turn Of com for
mill'' AT night, and no mistake. Be-
sides Sir
Travcllcr.-Zounds, man what have
to do with Jim-or his cotton, or his
corn? | have asked you plain ques.
ton, which | will ask again. Is there,
or is there not, such man as John
Smith living in this section, and if you
know the way to his house, will you
point il out to me f?
n. C.-And Zounds, man ! hav'ni J
been telling you all tie time, that there
is such man as John Smith living in
these diggins; and if there is anything in
the world do know, it is the way 10 his
house tell you again, we not only
come from North Carolina together,
but cut out new road leading across
that branch and over the hill.
Why, sir, John Smith has the smart
est little daughter you ever saw. She
has only been to school two years, and
has go, as far as ampijfeatiom.
Travelrr.-Coniound his daughter,
and her ampliica'ion tool. Il think yuu
have 90, that far yourself. For when |
ask you plain question, which you
might answer in a lIaif dozen words, you
spin a long yam about roads, negroes,
wives, oxen and little girls. Now do,
that's good fellow, just talk little
more like man of sense, and show me
the road 10 John Smiths.
N. C,-Don'l you conround Johns
darter, mister; she's my niece, and a
smart one she is, too. Why, you. are
as tctchous as skinned eel, and won't
leta body direct you when they are
trying with all their might. To be
short with you as you seem to wish it
tell you again, we came from North
Carolina toge,her-wc bought land to-
gelher at dollar and halfa acre; we
bought three hundred piece. John
Smiths land lies just across that swamp,
but he don't live there now: You see
Traveller.-I see [ am not likely to
get an answer Of you to-day; so l may
as we'll keep on. ask you now, and