The Arkansas banner., 1849-08-21

" ""N" "S St'oss sed. He VIII donbtiesS hear O my wretched late, and it ~ill give him deep atlie iiOa-may God in mercy console him was bor, in the neighborhood of Hesse Cassel, in Germany about the year l527. Placed in inGancv unde, ,h, care os strangers. who poorly used the means fur. n'shed tor my support and education My ckiId. hood was an insola,ed and unhappy one, and tu,n to !, now with bitter and painful recollection i, a. strange unnatural and cheeress, withou. the hsnnv associations which belong to that tender period My earliest memory bears the recollection of indif ference, derisiOn and contusneiy Al about the age Of ten years, received severe blow on the head inflicted by an iron weapon--to this blow, in .c,oe measure attribute the s1l7efines, and some of the occurrences of my after life. It feiled me to the earth, and have been toid tha, remained entirely 'ehseiess for about thsee days. remember dis tinctiy, subsequently, to the blow, commenced my Po'sca' and aggravated sssSi.a., psssisslv ] eodid roam at will withoat hat, but afterwards could not endure the heat 1.-the sun, uncovered My sufferings were not continuous; at times was well and quiet, but frequently restless and miserable. The chlef cause ofsufering was the injury had received in my head-it unquestiouably, according to lhs state of the weather had great effect upon my mind. do not say that it made me insane, in my judgment never was insane l am not insane now but my wound operating upon . sensitive and much neglected meaia, constitution caused occasional fits of dreadful disturbance. Those who knew me thought me desanged, and the boys of my neighbor- hood called me crazy Conrad"
 About this period was seized and confined-I can scarcely say what for, bni hay, Thought that was insane. The crazy persons at that place howled and behaved as crazy people dol never did but was always sensible efmy condition, and only cls- morous because of my unjust confinement. was released, and left forever a neighborhood where misery alone had been my portion. Unhappy as had been, and little as l had had to enjoy, well remember that il was not without deep gref quilted forever the place of my nativity. looked forward to career in the new world with some hope, but with many tears. h l54l or 'I2 arrived in the city of Baltimore, an entire stranger. and utterly ignorapt of the English language. My first object was 10 obtain employment, and sought it in the country, in Baltimore county. For some time I was employed as farmer. and strove by every means m my power 10 give satisfaction to my em- ployer; this however, at all times could not do; was al times restless and irritable; disturbed con- diiioa 0! mind produced irregularity of conduct, which was frequently visited by probably deserved censure.
 do not wish to detail the particulars oi this period further than to say, fate at length placed me m the service of Mrs. Goodwin. To this lady attribute much of nay suferings. She may not have designed them, but to her indifference and the vexa- tions diapPointments and privations which suffer- ed while upon her farm, chiefly ascribe the misery wi;.@ has f-Iiassasi- The summers heat and the winters cold, aggravated my phisical and mental disease. l began to have more frequent fits oi mental Arrangement; it seemed 10 me that curse had fallen upon me, and 1 thought of nothing so much as her injustice anA my own wretchedness. My ideas right and wrong became conlounded, and say now, that when took Mrs. Goodwin's proper ty, felt justified in doing SO the Court thought otherwise, and was confined in the Penitentiary
 was there four years and six months, and tongue can tell what suffered. do not wish to find fault, but God Almighty knows, as l do, it is not place Tor reformation, calculated to benefit those who enter il. While there, my body was iacerated by lashes which left their marks upon my soul Often l desired to die, but could not, and many times attempted my own life. left the peuitentary a wTetched, restless man, calm now and then, but more frequently excited by uncomfortable emotions l could never think of or see a woman like Mrs aLd my head ready to burst. Thls may have been wrong. but could not help it. God has enabled me to forgive her, and hope God will forgive her Every day increased my resllessness, and go where l would was miserable to an unspeakable degree l thought everybody that looked at me knew had beer in the penitentiary, and felt like an outcas among men--in looking forward could see no con- fort or credit this side of eternity.
 enlisted in the service of the United States, and now soemnly declare I can ascribe only .o th. restless condition of my mind. my unfortunate deser ton; cannot explain the feelings under which left the rendezvous. had quarrelled with no one no one scolded me. was pleased with my new voea ton, and up the night of the occurrence. was look ing forward with something like pleasure to tn. adventures of soldiers life.
 Without premidiiation concert with any one, deserted at midnight and found myself the follow ing morning on the Yoik road, hastening towards Mrs. Goodwns farm. This was on inc fatal 29tt of May and it found me without money, withou
 
 as deserter. had no particular object in view nor can now tell why deserted. The sugges tons that had designed to visit Parkton or to nur der Mrs. Parks. are without foundation. I trayeIe, on through the heat of the merely because th world was before me-and here, in the presence O God, declare that those witnesses who upon ih trial stated that passed up the road in compsn with Paul Kunkie, were utterly mistaken. neve saw Paul Kunkle in my life unt about three oeIocI of tn day on which Mrs. Cooper met her death, an that was nearly two hours after ihs spiii of tha unfortunate lady had left this world.
 Preached Parkton, as well as can remember T about one o'clock. much ds,uSbed in mind by tn events of the last twelve hoars greatly faigaed my iong journey on foot. my mental condition excl ted by the excessive heat cf the day. ard my brain ? in some measure influenced by draoghts of iiauo