Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1849-12-26

Some one hath said, that .matrimony is |
with women the great business Of life.
whereas with men it is only an incident
an important one, to be sure, but only one
among many to which their attention is
directed, and often kept entirely out Of
view. Now this difference gives the other
sex a great advantage over you; and
the best way to equalize your lot, and
become as wise as they are, is to think as
little about it as they do.
The less your mind dwells upon lovers
and matrimony, the more agreeable and
profitable will be your intercourse with
gentlemen. If you regard men as intel
lectual beings, who have access to certain
sources Of knowledge Of which you are
deprived, and seek to derive all the bene-
fit you can from their peculiar attainments
and experience-if you talk to them as
one ra,ional being would with another, and
never remind them that you are candidates
for matrimony-you will enjoy far more
than you can by regarding them under
that one aspect ofpossibe future admirers
and lovers. When that is the only absor-
bling thought, you have not the proper use
Of your faculties; your manners are con-
strained and awkward, you are easily en-
barrassed and made to say what is i'll ,judg-
ed, silly and out Of place; and you defeat
your own views by appearing to a great
disadvantage.
/ However secret you may be in these
speculations. if you are continually think
ing Of them, and attaching undue impor-
lance to the acquaintance Of gentlemen it
will most certainly show itself in your
manners and conversation. and will be.
tray weakness that is held in especial
contempt by the stronger sex.
Since the customs Of society have awar.
ded to man the privilege of making the
first advance towards matrimony, it is the
safest and happiest way for woman to
leave the matter entirely in his hands. She
should be educated as to consider that
the great end Of acknowledgements
Ill
married and single life, and that no union
but the most perfect one is at all desirable.
Matrimony should be considered as an in
cident in life, which. if it comes at all,
must come without any continuance of
yours; and therefore you may safely put
aside all thoughts of i, till some one forces
the subject upon your notice by profess
sions of particular interest in you.
Lively, ingenious, conversable, and
charming little girls, are often spoiled into
dull, bashful, silent young ladies', and all
because their heads are full of nonsense
about their beaux and lovers. They have
; a thousand thoughts and feelings which
> they would be ashamed to entertain, and
their Pre-occupation with subject which
they had better let alone, prevents their
y being the agreeable and rational compan-
ions of the gentlemen of their acquaint.
? ancc which they were designed to be.
Girls get into all sorts of scrapes by un.
, due occupation of mind; they mscon-
strue the commonest attention into marks
, Of particular regard and thus nourish q
fancy for person who has never once
, thought of them but as an agreeable &C.
. quaintance. They lose the enjoyment Of
a party. if a certain beaux are not there
whom they expected to meet; they become
' jealous Of their best friends if the beaux
. are there and do not talk to them as much
as they wish; every tri1e is magnified into
, something Of importance-af fruitful source
of misery--and things Of real importance
, are neglected for chimeras. And all this
gratuitous pains-taking defeats its own
ends! The labor is all in vain; such girls
are not the most popular; and those who
/, seem never to have thought about matri.
!, mony at all, are sought and preferred be.
tore them. We may add the advice, tina,
young women should not consider it a
. serious misfortune, even If never married.
there is nothing disreputable, while there
! may be much happiness, in the condition
5 of an old maid.