The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1849-03-28
nIiseellanIeu,rs Jte,us.

miscellaneous Jtems.
How're. Treat CURIOSITY. Tallcy.
rand had confidential servant excessive.
lyidevoted to his interests, but withal su.
perlatiyely inquisilive. Having one day
entrusted him with letter, the Prince
watched his faithful valet from the window
of;his apartment, and with some surprise
observed him reading the letter. On the
next day q similar commission was conf.
ded 10 the servant, and to the second let.
ter was added a postscript couched in fol-
lowing terms: You may send verbal
answer by the bearer; he is perfectly ac-
quainted with the whole affair, having ta-
ken The precaution to read this previous
to its delivery Such postscript must
have been more effective Than the sever.
estreproaches.
The Covington Peoples Friend, does
up marriage notices, '.joint resolutions,"
as-it calls them, thus:
MARR1ED-In Coving,on, on Wednes.
day, the Sd inst, by John Fields, Esq,
Mr.. George Galloway to Miss Sally Ann
Bills.
All, ha! George we've found you out at
last. While collecting Bills, up town
you coaxed old Lemuel's GaEa-,cay to
the Fields, and married her, you did.
Well publish you in the paper for that,
old fellow!
FEMININE OCCUPATION. Town
Clerks of Massachusetts, in making out
the census, find great difficulty in ascer-
tanning the occupation of unmarried girls
and boys, as required by law, and ono of
them writes to the Secretary thus: "My
vocabulary is not extensive enough to ex-
press in a single word the occupation OF
unmarried young ladies'. Can't do better
than to set it down-preparation for mat
TimonY!"
AN HONOR TO HIS MOTHER. ;
inquired dominic ofa hopeful pupil, 'what
is nailor2' 'E
sOne who makes nails said John.
.sVery good. What is q tailor?'
'One who makes tails
'Oh! you stupid fellow" said the domi-
ME, biting his lips, "a man who makes
tails!'''
Yes MASTER returned John, if, the tail.
or did not put tails to the coats he made,
they would be all jackets!'
Sit down, John, you're an honor 10
your maternal parent.
San old man." complains that boys
come to see his darters, but sny nothing
about marrying them-this he does not
llke-he says, "gals must get husbands
when they are young, if ever they get
them?" and therefore, "those telzers who
have no notion of being married, no bust.
ness to take up the gals time for nothing,
and thereby keep better boys away"
Too SMART.-'Fhe other day, one of
widow BIS. admirers was complaining of
the tooth ache. Mrs. BIS. smart bon imme.
diately spoke up
"Well, Sir, why don't you do as ma
does? She takes her teeth out and puts
'em back whenever she wants to-
A few minutes afterwards the boy was
whipped on some pretence or other.
A little girl meeting countrynan with
a load of slaughtered swine, dropped a
curtesy. The rustic laughed without re-.
turning the civility, "What," said he, edo
you curtesy to dead hogs?"
"No, sir" replied the little miss, ri curt.
sled to the Hve one."
No TIME FOR QUARTERS \ High.
lander, whose regiment hayi.. occn sur.
rounded, had cut their way out with the
broad sword, with loss of half their
number, being the last in retreating, was
stopped by forward Frenchman return.
ing from the pursuit, who charged with
his bnyonet, but soon finding the disad.
vantage ofhis weapon cried out "quarter!'
"Quarter yea" said Donald, 6py nv
soul lie nae time to quarter We; maun
cen be contentit 10 be cut in twa,' max.
ing his head fly from his shoulders.
An Irishman came into possession of
hve soye'reigns, and not wishing to spend
'9em, went toa pawnbroker's, and pawn.
ed them for ten shillings.
Why is o man without legs like an oven
oargaln4 Because there is nothing to
WHY'S a cheese like iail2 Because
we are glad to find it uninhabited.
: ~ ny is.a stingy man like BIRDS foot2
Heeauso he has no soul. 49,
Why Is a chicken pie like n o,,nsm;,b,s
ahopf s. Because i contains fowi.in. pieces.