Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1849-05-26

DOING A LANDLORD.


at whose house the stage passengers were ac'
cus.omed TO take breakfast and who had an
agreement with the driver 10 blow his horn,
almost as soon as the passengers sat down 10
eat. BY this means he generally received
his fifty cents per meal without losing his
vands. The Spirit Of the Times tells o. a
fellow named "Aez," who did The landlord
completely notwithstanding.
As the stage drove up to the door, the
landlord came ont and said.
''Breakfast just ready, gents! Take a
wash gents' Here's water, basins, towels,
and soap"
After performing their ahluions, they all
Proceeded TO the dining-roorn, and commeu-
ced fierce Onslaught, upon the edibles, tho
''Ilez'' took his time Scarcely had they
tasted their coffee, when they heard the un-
welcome sound Of the horn, ana the driver
e&claim "Stags rcadyn' Up rise eight grum-
bling passengers, pay their 50 cts, and take
their seats.
"AlI aboard genis7" inquiries The host.
Gone missing," said they
Proceeding 10 The dinng-room, the host
finds Hsz very coolly helping himself to an
immense piece Of steak, the ''size ofa horses
lip"
"You'ilbe left, sir! Stage is going to star, y
''Wal, | haint got noihil.' 10 say agin IL"
drawls ont nez
"1an'i wai' sir, better take your seat"
"Dew wot o.
"Get In, sir.n
an be saul- armed ef daw, nu'her, til
I've got my breakfuss, paid fur it, and
I'm eOin' TO git the ralls ont ! and eff you cal.
hate | ain', yew air mistaken"
So The stage did start, and left Hez, who
continued his attack on the edbles Biscuits,
coffee: steaks, &c, sc, disappeared before
the eyes of the astonished landlord.
'say Squire, them there cakes is bout East;
fetch US nuiher girls, on 'em." ''You!' 10
the wai,er:l ':nulher cup ov that air coffee.
Pass them eggs" ''Raise yew're own pork,
Squire? This is ma2ia' nice ham Land
bout yere ,olerable Cheap Squire? Haiat
got much maple timber in these parts, hav
ye Dewiu' right smart, Squire, caliate.
Don't lay yew'rc own eggs, dew ye?' and
thus Hez kept quizzing the landlord, Until he
iah made a hearty meal.
''Say, Squire, now I'm bout lew conclude
payn' my devowers ,cw ,his ere table, but
ef yew'd jus Civ Us 4 bowl o. bead and
milk lew sOrier Top cf with. III be obleeged
tew ye."
So out goes the landlord and waiter FOR III,
bowl, milk, and bread, and set ,he,n before
Hez.
"Spewn, ,ew, ef you pleass!"
But no spoon could be found. Landlord
was sure he had plenty siver ones laying OF
the table when the stage stepped.
"Say yew! dew yew think them passen
gers is goin tew pay yew for breakfus and
not get no eompensashun ?'
"Ah! what! Do yon think any Of ,hc
passengers took them ?'
"Dew think, bnt am sarln' Ef they
air all as green as yew bout here, I'm goin
tew locate Immediately and tew wonst."
The landlord rnshes out TO the stable, anc
starts a man after the stage which had gone
about three miles. The man overtakes tn,
stage, and says something to the driver in :
low tone. He Immediately turns back, an,
on arriving at the Hotel. Hez comes out Il
take his seat and says
"Heow air yew, genis9 I'm rotten gla,
,ew see yew."
Landlord says to Hez, "Can you poin, GU
the man you think has the spoonsP'
spin, him eout? Sarlinly, ken. Say
Squire, paid yew four nine-pences for
breakfus, and callate GOT THE vALLEE ONT
Yew'll find THEM SPOONS IN THE COFFEE
POT 20
go ahead, all aboard, driver"