The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1849-04-25
THE REASON
WHY MR.. PopK1N COULDN'T GET HIS

WHY MIR. POPKlN COULDN GET HIS
LIFE INSURED.
WRITTEN FOR THE SPIRIT OF THE TINES,
ny THE YOUNG 'UN.'
Samuel Popkin, ESQ.,, was bache-
lor. Mr. Popkin was we'll enough off
in the world-as the phrase goes-but
Mr.. p. had two maiden sisters of an
suncertian age,' who feared that their
dutiful and afectionate brother might
pop off suddenly some fine day, and
leave them minus; for-though he en-
joyed q very handsome income from
his profession, as o book-keeper for the
house of Makepenny & Cot would
avail the maiden ladies nothing after
his death; and they urged upon him to
apply for Life Insurance, to be made
over to them in case Of accident-an
SO he attended to their joint request
EoKtlImittI. ..---- = .-------.-- -------1
Mr.. Popkin was growing fat. That
is--people of ordinary minds would say
so-but his sisters didn't like gross
phrases, and so they said he was only
getting tportly.' Be this as it may,
however, Mr.. P. was very thick, and
very short in stature, and when wad-
ding down State.st., toward the scene
of his daily business, he very much re-
sembled an upright diminutive gin-pipe,
locomoted by q brace of ten pins. His
eye was small, and round, and dark
aud when excited, appeared very like
o black glass bead, half buried in a
fresh oyster. His cheeks were like
two bouncing Baldwin apples, and the
distance between his fat chin and his
Ghost was so brief--taking into the &C.
count o constant habit lie had of wheez-
ing, when over-exerted--th that it seem
cd doubtful whether there was any
room there for a windpipe! Mr.. Pop.
pin always breathed Through his
nose 4 aa .s,4
But Mr.. Popkin had examined the
advertisement and circulars of the sMu-
tual-Prop-'em.up Association and hav-
ing bagged comfortable dinner, (Mr.
z. never ate any others,) he sailed
forth to wait upon the agent, for the
purpose Of applying for a life insurance.
The door Of the agent was directly ad.
joining that of brokers' Office, and mis-
taking the entrance Mr.. Popkin en-
tered the latter, where two or three of
the b'hoys-clerks to the broker-were
assembled, an hour after dinner, with
no business upon their hands, and ripe
for little fun.
Mr.. Popkin made known the object
of his call, in his customary bland and
artless manner, when the eldest of the
trio winkcd Mt his companions, and in
formed the applicant that they were
ready to wait upon him. After turn
ing the fat gentleman roand several
times, until his head swan like top,
the foremost of tho rascals suddenly
jammed his hat down over his eyes, and
begged him to be seated; which request
Mr.. Popkin was about to comply with,
very gratefully, when the chair was
dexterously withdrawn from behind him,
andhe came to the floor in contact with
an earthen spittoon which chanced to
he near him, the conclusion causing q
sensation which he declared one of the
most sextr' onerry' he ever experienced
in the whole course Of his life!
But it seemed purely an accident;
and Mr.. Popkin with ono hand raised
hishat from over his nose, and applied
the other vigorously to the location Of
the thump he received in his fall. In a
moment after, he had 'got to rights,
and drawing up the chair, submitted to