The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1849-08-24
"That's right-.Stick to it,

a friend tells us the following rib.tickling
snecaote, which we believe, has never been
in print before, at all events, will hear dres.
sing up again. 1t made US laugh "coh!
sumedly."
Old farmer Jones, having been for months
preparing his favori'e Yorkshire for "kil.
ling time" sent finally for the town butch
era great wag, by the way--to come, and
prepare the "sassenger meat' for use.
CThis was ofcoursc, many years ago, when
nfidence" wasn't 50 nseesassv u At1FfiYy
sdSSengerS and dogs did not howl and 60
into swamps at the sight of them, as now.)
Old grunter was forthwith stuck, as the
brokers say, and having gone through the
usual process of being tumbled into scal,ling
water. scraped, cleaned, disemboweled,
and so forth, was hung mp in the sheaa FOE
the night to dry. After the butcher had
finished his Job, and was about departing,
farmer Jones says;
"Fripnd, Pm in rather had picHe. I
have been borrowing from different farni-
lies in the ncishborhOod, some two hundred
pounds of fresh pork, all of which I've
promised to repay when my Yorkshire
should be k iled and now if pay Up all
my debts, | shall have no pork left for my
own use. What shall | do?-be honest
and shame the devil, or pay my debts, and
starve?,,
81 can arrange that business nicely for
you," replied the knight with the long knife.
"Doyou Just cut up and pack yourhog ear
" in the morning before any of the neigh
bors is stirring, and then swear that some.
body stole the critter in tie night time"
"Capital idea! First rate :" exclaimed
Sones. chuckling and clapping his hands
with delight-"and you shall have a spare
rib for the hint" 80
About the witchng time If night, in the
"wes short hours evand the twap--whsn
according TO Shakespeare, 'churchyards
yawh,' aud the place with naughty name
ore ahes out cOntagion 10 the word,' the
crafty butcher bog might have been seen
nolslessly dragging the carcass of the def.
unct porker ont Of farmer Jones shed, and
long before old Sol was seen perchsd on the
mountain top, the monarch of the sly was
reposing-well packed and salted-iu the
butchers cellar.
Next morning, the butcher was passing
the farmers house TN the way to hi, slaush-
ter house, Old Jones came running out cry.
ing at the top of his lungs, al say, old fol.
low, somebody has stole that hog, sure
enough ~
"You don't say SOL" exclaimed the
butcher, in tone. Of deep surprise.
"l,'s fact by hoky! The hing is gone,
hide and skin--he is by the liviu' Noses"
"Have you told any one else besides
me? ?" asked the butcher.
"No; hain't seen no body else yet; but
it's fact, by thunder" 'iP's
"Thars right" says the butcher; "siirk
10 il like a good fellow, and there's no dan
GER" =.
"But," protested the farmer. " ANT jok-
in nor nothin' Of tho kind. II somebody
haint stole the hog, hope Imay be frizzled,
''ewsd, and fried in billed scraps, and ehaw-
ed up by monkeys"
"Nersr heard story ioM better in my
Hc" reiterated the provoking butcher,
with sly wink to tho farmer, and bursting
into solid horse-laugh--"o only keep a lonR
face on the matter and stick to II rs you do
now, and you'll make all Christendom be-
lieve IL true, afore long. Good morning.
farmer Jones'" IN