Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1849-12-19

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cows kick"
"Well, John-you do credit to your
teacher. You may take your books and
run home. Willy Chase, what is the cur
rency of the United States? -
''Cash and money"
"What are its denominations -
''Coppers, bogus, and Bungtown cents,
pennies, fps, fourpence ha'penys, levys,
ninepences, Spanish quarters, pis'areens and
shinplasters.'
"That will do. Jones, wha. is the stand
ard weight of the u S:'
"Scale weight, and wait a little longer"
sWhat is hundred weight"
Gone hundred and twelve pounds
samuel, how many kingdoms are there
in the material world ~
"Four.'
"Three. only three.''
"Four, think, sir"
"Well, name them-what are they :"
"Mineral kingdom, animal kingdom vege-
table kingdom, and kingdom Gomez
"Now, how many kinds Of motion are
there -
"Four"
1.-TWO voluntary and involuntary.''
''Simon says there's four.''
"What does Simon say they are -
"Point, point up, point down, and wig
wag'
"You rascal! Eve mind 10 wigwag
your jacket! Hadn't you better describe
the motion Of my stick -
81 can, sir"
"And its efect?''
eyes, sir. Up stroke, and down stroke
the up stroke. regular aud ee-yss" o"wn
stroke spasmodie Understandings, and lis
effects gslrIkIngly indescribabIe."
"You understand that, see. Susannah,
| what is matter?"
''Thereis nothing the matter with me, sir"
81 ask you, what is matter, m-a-t-t-e-r?"
eyes, sir-matter is every thing that has
substance. There's animated, and vaccine
matter, and''-
mo matter about the rest. Speaking of
vaccine matter, puts me in mind of some
thing else. There has been case of small
pox appeared in the village, or rather, vail
orod, which is the botanical name for
small-pox-and Mr.. Scalpel says he has
some prime vaccine matter, of his own
manufacture, warranted to take-and he will
vaccinate the whole village. at eight cents
apiece, and take his pay in potatoes. All
recollect, and when you 60 home, tell your
parents. George Smith, do you recolect
the story Of David and Goliah -
eyes, sir-David was tavern keeper,
and GoIiah was an incorporate man."
"Who told you that?''
"Nobody. read it, and it said that Da.
vid fixed sling for Goliah, and Goliah got
slowed with it.''
"Wasn't Goliah giant, strong man -
eyes, he was giant, but he had weak
head -
"How sop
"Why, to get SO easily slewed."
eyes, George; that was undoubtedly ow-
ing to the strength Of the sling. Wasn't
David a musician 20
eyes, sir-he played psalms on the harp,
"a favorite instrument with the Jews, and at
the present day is called Jews-harp. |
have one in my pocket-here it is
Place it in your mouth. ,hus-breathe on
the tongue gently, then strike with your
finger, this way-and the psalms, in harmo-
NOUS concord, fruclily on the ear as natural
as thunder.'
"That's suficient-you can pocket your
harp. Simeon, how many points to the
compass ?"
"One father broke the other of, open
ing an oyster"
"Squa' yourself down! Jane, what is
time ?"
"Something that flies, any how.'
"How do you make that out -
"Why, tempus fugi,."
"What's that -
:.La,in; it means that time flies, and how
can time if it flies, be anything else than
something that flies -
Excellent! What is the meaning of re-
quiescat in pace:"
Crest quiet cats in peace"
''Well, Jane; al Latin you are perfectly
ALL fai,-which translated means perfectly
awful; it is great phrase, from The class
les, and applicable to this class, PARTICULAR
ly. Now take off your jackets, and will
give you rev ards of merit Those who
get more than they merit, can keep the over
plus as token of my special affection for
them; and those who get less can have the
mistake recti6ed by mentioning it to me
you will find me quite obliging. Pope says,
AS the twig is bent the tree is inclned:'
and that is very true for have used up
whole trees, thrashing your jackets for you.''
~ Y Iuueferdte.