Des Moines courier. ([Ottumwa] Iowa) 1848-1854, 1849-11-30
SELECT STORY.
THE CENSUS.
BY THE AUTHOR OF SIMON sUGGs.
PART FIRST.

The collection OF statistical informa.
lion concerning the our and industry
of the country, by the assistant marshals
who were employed to take the last Ger
sus, was a very difficult work; the popular
impression that a tremendous lax would
soon follow the minute investing Of the
the private affairs of the people, caused
the census-taker to be viewed in no bet
ter light than that of a tax-gaiherer; and
the consequence was, that the informa-
ton sought by him was either withheld
entirely, or given with great reluctance.
The returns, therefore, made BY the mar
shals, exhibit a very imperfect view of
the wealth and industrial progress of the
country. In some portions Of The coun-
try the excitement against the unfortunate
oficers-who were known as the ..chick-
en- men'-made it almost dangerous for
them TO proceed with the business of Ia
king the census; and bitter were the
taunts, threats, and abuse which they re-
ceived OH all hands, but most particular
ly from the old women of the country.
The dear old souls could not bear to be
.catechised about the produce of their
looms, poultry yards, and dairies; and
when they did '.come down. upon the
unfortunate inquisitor. it was with a force
and volubility that were SURF to leave an
impression. We speak from experience,
and ieelingly, on this subject; for it SO
happened, that the marshals of the South
ern District of Alabama, proposing espe-
cial confidence" in our ability, invested
us one day with all the powers Of assist
ant Marshal; and arming US with the
proper quantity Of blanks, sent us forth
To coun! the noses of all the men, wo.
men, children, and chickens resident up.
on those nine hundred square miles of
rough country which constitute the coun-
~ OF Tallapoosa. Glorious sport
thought we, bn. it didn't turn out so.-
True, we escaped without any drubbings,
although we came unpleasan,ly near
catching a dozen, and only escaped by a
very peculiar knack we have of .sliding
out;' but then we were ~quizzed, laughed
at, abused, and nearly drowned. Chill
drens shouted ..Y onder goes the chicken
man." Men said, ayes, d-n him, he'll
be after the tares soon;"-and the old
women threatened il he came to inquire
about their chickens, sto set the dogs on
him. while the young women observed
''lhey didn't know what a man wanted
TO be so periic'lar about gals ages for,
wi;hou, llc was gwine a courtin'." We
have some "reminiscences of our off,
cial peregrinations that will do 10 laugh
al now, although the occurrences with
which they are connected were, at the
time, any thing but mirth inspiring to us.
We rode up u day to the residence
OF a widow rather past the prime Of life
THAT period at which nature supplied
most abundantly the oil which lubricates
the hinges of the female tongue-and
hitching to the fence, walked into the
house.
"Good morning, madam" said we, in
usual bland, and somewhat insinua-
ting manner.
"Mornin'," said the widow grufiy.
Drawing our blanks from their case,
we proceeded-"I am the man, madam,
that takes the census, and
.The mischief you are!" said the old
termagent. "Yes, I've hearn of YOU;
Parson w. told me you was comm, and
| told him just what | ten you, that if you
said CLOTH soap, ar chickens I o me,
I'D set the dogs on ye. Here, Bull! here,
Pomp!" Two wolfsh ours responded
to the call for Bull and Pomp, by coming
to the door, smelling at our feet with a
slight growl, and then laid down on the
steps. .Now," continued the old she
savage, 'them's the severest dogs in this
country. Last week Bill Stonecker's
two year old steer jumped nv yard fence,
and Bull and Pomp TUX him by the throat
and they killed him afore my boys coult
break 'em loose, to save the world"
"Yes, ma'am," said we, meekly
"Bull snd Pomp seem to be very fine
dogs"
lyon may Well say that: what | tell.
EN- to do they do-and if | was to sich
'em on your old boss yonder, they'd ca
him up atore you could say Jack Robin.
son. And its jist what / shall do, eff you
try to pry into my consarns. They are
hone OF your business, nor Van Buren's
nuther, l reckon. Oh, old Van Banhu
rem! ! wish had you here, you old ras
cal! I'D show you what-Pd-Id make
Bull and Pomp show you how to be sen
din out men to take down what lit
tie stuff peoples got, jist to tax it, wher
it's taxed enough already.
All this time we were perspiring thro'
fear Of the fierce guardians OF the oil,
widows portal. At length, when tn,
widow paused we remarked that as sh,
was determined not to n wer question.
about the produce of the farm, we woule
just set down the agessex, and complex
ion of each member OF her family.
mo SIGH a thing-you1l do no SIGH
thing,'' said she; 1--WE got five in family
and that's all you'll git from me. Ok
Van Buren, must have a heap to do, TIT
drafted old vilyan, I o send you to tax,
down how old my children is. I've GO
five in family. and they are all between
five and fve hundred years old; they art
all a nlaOuy et0hf uuh;tor than Won AM