The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1849-01-19
Advice 10 Young Ladies.

voted 10 you in public and private, as yonr
chosen friend and Coniidant. 1ha, j. a fol-
/ ly pregnant with mischief, where il is enter
81 upon III good faith, and it is rendered
doubly odinu> by the use some ladies make
Of it, merely TO secure themselves bean
ON all occasions. Much nonsense is talked
about platonic love, by girls who krow no,
the real meaning Of the word, and who des-
iguate by the term the restless cravings of
their hearts for sympathy, but who are far
thrst removed from the calm and pure SEN
timcnt described by Plato.
The offer of mans heart and hand i
:he greatest compliment he can pay TO you
aud, however undesirable these gifts 10 you
may he they should be cOurteon>ly and
kindly declined; since a refusal is, not only
to most men disappointment, but mott
iication, it should always he avoided If pos
sibc.
Men have various ways Of chcriShing and
declaring their attachments; ihose who n-
dictate the bias of their feelings in many IN.
tellicible ways before they make a direct Of
fer, can generally be spared the pain of re.
iusal. II you do not mean to accept a gem
,leman who is paying You very marked at
tenNonS, you should avoid receiving them
whenever you can; you should not allow
him TO escort you; you should show your
dI>pIeasure when Joked about him; aud, II
sounded ny mutual TREND, let your want
OF reciprocal feelings he very apparent.
You may, however, be taken entirely 10y
surprise, because there are men who are s."
secret in these matters, that they do not let
even the object Of their affections suspect
the preference, until they suddenly declare
Themselves lovers and su'Iors. In such a
case as that, you need all the presence Of
mind, or the hesitation produced by surprise
may give rise 10 false hopes. II you have
any doubt on the matter you may laIIy ask
time TO consider II. on the grounds OF your
never having thought OF lover before: but
if you are resolved against the sni', cndea-
vor 10 make your answer so decided, rs 10
finish the affair at once. Inexperienced
girls sometimes feel so much the pain they
are intic'ing, that they use phrases which
iced the lovers hope: but this IS mistaken
tenderness; your answer should be as deci-
ded rs II is courteous.
. Whenever an offer is made in writing,
you should reply To II as soon ~ possible
ana having, III tins case, none 81 the cmbar'
fas>mcnt ct personal interview, you eau
make such careful selection Of words as
VIII best convey your meaning. II the per-
son e>'imabie You houIdexpreS> the sense
ct ms merit, aud the graf lude ol his prefer
cnte ~ strong terms; aud pct the refusal oi
him on the score of Your not feeling for him
mat peculiar preference necessary to 'hc
union he DESIRES lhi> makes refusal ~
mule painful as possible ANA '"otheS Tive
irehn.S You are Obliged w wound ! nc
g'h'IemanS Ie'l'r >honi" he f',nin'd II,
NtNll I'ttk. ana NNtT lIS NlOilll Up ClOs1 Il
on me SUBJECT i'r ever ai''i"afn. IS hH
secret an" No" nave u" i'-'" w ven l" u
nny one 'h' II your parents are your CON
j. hnr"'''I ,i'tniS "h al otn'r occasions, h'
i WIN MOI blame you ior ''ilne 'ncnl.
Your yc"h" ir'hac Trends should h'v''
= bc ai"Nrd 10 tease or banner yon mi" NE
''H' W l'i> secret ~" '"u""' "''
your ingenuity TO better account man ny "
MIG !" 10 na''r men tnfo>"y' some &''r
are tempted 10 t'i OF an "il'f h"d I''o>a''''
4 account Tor 'ht c">sa'l"n OF 'h"'' a't'hi'"h
q u" 'hc Pa'' ol 'he gentleman "'Hch INV
/. oeeh so constant ana matk'" as I" De co
/ serve" ny 'h',f friends h"' 'h'> II no sun.
- cent rea,'" Tor ''l''nS AZ! o'n'r pc''"'
secret To-" cahno' always li'N'h' sn>
pc'oh " ,nc u"'n' o,t S"h >h'"'" EtN'
c"nhf'n !" oy any disclosure ~ yours
II You are so situated a. l" mr't 'he gen
Al uei"an whose hahd N"" nave rci">'", Io
+, Sno"'' 90 u win lf'"k '"iu''N'N' n"" wv
70 nun ~ ease as u h"'hlnG arncn''r Ia"
So P'>>e" o''N'ch YOU u 'n'S manner
W. yours so lar n'>sh'h - !" TEA" 10 IL
h'""' oil ''e 'lirr' '', nun Sec a. soon
">>'"l'' '''' Nv ''> ""',,"" !" 'o' "''
m ''hPo'lo"''I ana ''"' " We W"ui' lr'N'N
Ir your l''cn",n'p W. must seek l'' ho'''n-