Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1849-07-06
miscellaneous.
Doctors Bills.
j. CIV.

The folly oil daOOllng IN medicine is
very pleasantly hit of in the following
humorous verses.
ABOUT four years ago | was happily
married TO a very prudent lady, and, be-
ing of The Same disposition myself, we
made a very prudent couple. Sometime
after our marriage, my wife told me that
doctors bills were very high, and thai,
as we could not always expect 10 be free
from disease, she thought it best to pUr-
chase some doctors books, 'and thus,
said she with a smile, i've can steal their
trade at once.' This | agreed TO aud
made il my particular business 10 attend
all auctions OF books, in order 10 buy
medical works III the lowest rate. In
fine, in less than twelve months. |
had bought a couple Of 'Dispensatories,'
'Buchan's Family Physician TWO or
three t~reatises on the arr Of preserving
health, by different authors; seven trcali-
ses on the diseases Of children, and di-
vers others Of the greatest note. My
wife spent all the time she could spare
from the economy of her household, in
studying them, and as soon as my store
was Up in the evening, ! cdlied myself
with a few receipts from Dispcnsatory.
As soon as spring arrived, my dear
wife informed me that she found 1t posi-
lively cnjoined by some of our writers,
hat we must swallow u large dose Of
tartar and birthstone, 10 be taken every
evening for three weeks. in molaSses /;
this the whole family, | reckon first my
wife, my brother Dick, who lives with
me; my son and my daughter, my negro
boy, and The servant maid. This cure
we all went through to The entire salts
faction OF my wife who had the pleas
ure TO find her medicine had the desired
effect.
Soon or this, the contagion of read.
ing medical books spread through all my
family, and scarce u day passed but some
of them made use Of some medicine or
other. My poor brother Dick, after he
had permission 10 read my books, had
acquired u detected counlenance the
cause of which | could not conceive
Al last he broke silenco-'Brolher, said
he (supposing that | mad read more than
himself feel my pulse, | think have
100 much blood, had | not better get
bed I you know that if too much blood
gets into the head ii produces apopIexy;
The symptoms Of lis appearances, says Bu-
chan, is remarkable redress in the face,
and you see that is exactly the case with
me- | could not help laughing Il! him;
he was indeed red in the face, but such
rcdness US indicated the very offspring Of
health. Our maid, from an education at
a country school, had learned 10 read
she earnestly requested her mistress TO
lend her u doctor book 10 read on Sun.
day afternoon. This reasonable request
was granted; but poor creature! being
not Of the fairest complexion in the world.
she in a liulc while became quite low
spirited, and finding my wife and me
alone one evening, she came in, aud
and venturcd TO express herself thus ::
La, mistress; | am concerned, and afraid
| shall got the yellow jaundlers, as begin
10 look yellow in the face Decency pre-
vented my smiling for awhile, but when
she had left the room, | could not but en-
joy Il laugh. My negro boy is always eat
ing roasted onions for a cold, but as he
cannot read he has luckily escaped eve
~ other disorder. One night as we were
about going to bed, my wife desired me
in the most serious manner, that if she
should ever be taken with u locked Jaw
that | should rub her jaw with musk, as
she was convinced, from comparing The
arguments of Il variety Of authors, that
This was the best remedy. | told her
there was no danger Of such an event, as
| had DR.. Cullen's word for il that il sci.
dom attacked females indeed ! am con-
WINGED that a lock jared lady is rdra az
is in ferris.
Hitherto our family medicines were
used with confidence and satisfaction on
all sides, ill | considered one day that
our family, without a Doctor, had con-
sumcd more medicine in one year than
my fathers family used 10 do with The
advice Of a physician in six years. BuI
one day when my wife told me shelhoughI
il would be well 10 weigh our food before
we eol il, least we should cat 100 much
or 100 liule, and that S~ANcUoRIoUs advi-
sed il for good reasons, | got such a dis
gust 10 our scheme, Thai resolved grad
pally 10 abandon it. am now conyin-
ced Of the truth Of Q saying of u rational
medical writer, that one or more Thing
must happen 10 every human boby-lo
live Iemperalely, 10 use exercise, 10 take
physic, or be sick.' "And | am pretty
c%erluin, that if | and my family perse-
we're in The TWO former courses, we need
no, be In danger Of the two last