Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1849-07-27


Cool DISCRETIONARY waggish reporter
of the Pennsylranioaa is guilty of the follow
ing. Like Esop's Fables. il hath deep
moral:
A few minutes past ten o'clock, last night,
as Mr.. Ezra Wiltmire, grocer, in the upper
part of Pine street, was about 10 shut up shop,
a man of very ordinary appearance, and toll
erably well dressed, entered and looked around
like one who wishes TO make a purchase
Mr. Wiltmire saluted his supposed customer,
and something was said about the weather.
&c, the stranger conversing in an easy tone,
and without the least appearance OF excitement.
He inquired, at last, if the store. keeper had
any strong cords. Mr. WiItmire exhibited
some clothes lines, which were put aside as
mot stout enough Bed cords were then
shown, and the stranger picked out one of the
largest, the twist of which he examined with
much attention, and then asked the store keep
er what weight he thought such a cord might
support. AT least 500 pounds" was Mr.
Wlltmlre's answer. IS It will do then,'' said
the stranger, with smile, /" for | do not sup
pose that my weight is half of five hundred"
6 Do you wish to make swing OF ii ;" asked
Mr.. Wiltmre. The stranger almost laughed
out, ga swing % repeated he; yes, sort
of a swing. That is precisely what | want ii
for" =" Swinging is wholesome exercise,
and il lengthens mans Life remarked the
grocer, as he changed d dollar bill handed him
by the customer, and took payment for the
rope. g Do YOU think so ?" said the stranger,
with quizzical Ieer; g incline 10 think the
kind of swinging | speak of is not very
wholesome, and that it will net lenglhen a
mans life, but rather cut it short, unless the
rope should happen 10 be cut short first. But
as you seem 10 he puzzled, will relieve you
at once, by informing you that intend to hang
myself, and that bought the rope expressly
for that purpose. If you will allow me the
use OF your awning frame and an empty flour
barrel TO stand on, shall have all the neces-
sary fixtures. and yon may keep the contents
OF this wallet as compensation. Besides, it
will be novelty TO you. suppose, to see a
man hang himself, though you may have seen
thousands who deserved hanging" The store
keeper, to humor the joke, granted his Gus.
toner the use of his awning beam, brought
a barrel to answer the purpose OF a Temporal
ry scaffold, and then looked on while the stran-
ger made his preliminary arrangements. But
who can imagine the grocer's establishment,
when he saw the body of the mysterious
stranger actually swinging in the air, and the
barrel rolling across the pavement! This
looked so much like hanging in earnest, that
the single spectator of the scene was struck
dumb and helpless with amaZement. He could
neither cry out nor offer assistance. Fortu-
nately, Waterman came by at the moment;
he seized the legs Of the suspended person,
and supported the weight of the body until
the store keeper recovered himself sufficiently
to cut the rope. When the proper remedies
were used and vitality restored, the watchman
asked the sufferer what induced him to com
nit such rash act 6 Sorrow and dsap-
pointment,'' said the poor fellow :" remorse
for the past and disyair o. the future | am
a Democrat anto roted for General TaWor.''
The Waterman was forced to admit that a bet
ter excuse for hanging ones self had never
been offered.
Plain Tdlk.-Mrs Swisshem, of the Pitts
burg Saturday Visitor, goes for horse whipping
drunkards to the reform of them, and in an
swer to those who charge her with a want OF
womany sympathy, quotes the passage
60 Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth. and
scourgeth every son whom he receiv-
eth" OF the tipping shops and their victims
she speaks after this fashions:
If we were man-if we were voter
we would vote down the grogeeries. AS we
are woman, if we had a husband, father or
brother, who was likely to become a victim
to the serpent of the still, we would take the
disease in time-in the first stages-and warn
the dram-seIlers within reach, not to encroach
on our hearth; and if they persisted we would
burn down their osuggeries with as clear a
conscience as We would make a fire TO burn
ldnebugs and save our plums.
sc This will be called incendiary doctrine !;
but desperate diseases want desperate rene
dies: and when our own happiness and the
life and soul, and the honor of one dear to as,
are at stake, ii would not be we'll for the man
who stood between us and his salvation, if we
concluded that salvation possible, We would
never advise any other 10 such remedy for
The remedy would be Imprisonment for life :;
but we would consider this a positive blessing
compared to loathing the besotted face of oIe
we had loved
ITO US no object on earth is so loathsome,
so hateful, so abominable, as druhkard We
could not live near one, for we should die of a
sick stomach. 1t may be very angelic for a
pure minded, vlruous woman 10 love and ca
ress a great drunken beast, but for our share,
we have not the slightest pretentions to being
an angel, and the coil of an Anaconda would
u
of drunkard's arm. From the smell they
have on the street one would imagine the an
gel that ,staid near them long, would require
10 be pretty strongly scented with birthstone
Evi communications corrupt good manners
and people are forbidden to be unequally
yoked We can think of no yoke so unequal
as that which would bind decent woman 10
dfunkard; and we most firmly believe that
so far from its being duty for wife TO live
with drunken husband, it is a violation Of
the laws OF God, and the dictates of common
sense and common decency. A woman who
will persist in so living, should be shut up r
lunatc asylum. Grant it, that she has
right to dispose of herself as she pleases -
Has she any right to entail misery and degre
dation on a hopeless of<pring' Has she any
right 10 furnish the State with paupers ant
criminals? Has the drunkard any tight Il
hand down his vices and their consequence
10 posterity'"
Il Good One-The Hartford Comm Ga
zette, tells the following good one, which wei
hits off the practice of running ourselves dowl
that others may be induced 10 compliment -
| Very few, as in the case OF the pious Mr.. H.
that would like to be taken at their word.
In village not dozen miles from Hart
ford, the members of religious society wer
in the habit of holding prayer meetings in tn
church, in which they made a kind of con
fession, commonly called, "telling ones ex