Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1849-10-18
A Good Story.

Oid Col. W., formerly well known
character in one of cur eastern cities. was re-
markable for but one passion out of the ordina-
ry range of humanity, and that was for buying
any lot Of tIumpery that came under The head
OF miscellaneous, for the reason that il could
not be classified Though close-fised in gen.
era, he was continually throwing his money
away in fves and tens upon such trash In
this way he had filled all the old corners OF bis
dwelling and out-houses with collection of
non descript articles which would have puzzled
philosopher to tell what they were made for,
or 10 what use they could be put. This. how
ever, was secondary consideration with the
Colonel for he seldom troubled his head about
such articles after they were fairly housed
Not so with his wife, however, who was con-
tnualy demonstrating against these purchases.
which served only 10 clutter up the house and
as food for the mrlh of the domescs Bot the
Colonel, though he often submitted to these re.
monslrances of his better half, could not resist
The passion and SO ent on, adding from week
TO week 10 his heap of miscelanies. One
day while saunterng down the street, he heard
the rich, full ZONES of the auctioneer, and Of
course stepped in to see what being sold.
On The floor he perceived collection which
looked as if il might have been purloined from
The garrett of some museum, and around which
motley group were assembled; while on the
counter stood the ponly auclioneer, in the very
height of mock indignant remonstrance with
his audience
" Nine dollars and ninety cents cried The
auctloneer, Gentlemen, it is shame, j, is bar
barous 10 stand by and permit such sacrifice
of properly Nine dollars and nIuety-GOod
morning Colonel; magnificent lot of--of an
tiques--and all going for nine dollars aud nine
ty cents. Gentlemen, you'll never see such an
other lot; and all going for nine dollars and nine
ty cents. Col w. can you permit such sac
rlice 2" The Col. glanced his eye over the
lot, and then with nod aud wink assured
him he could not. The next instant, the ham
mer came down AID the purchase his at
ten dollars. As the articles were to be paid
for, and removed Immediately, the Col lost no
time in gelling a cart, and having seen every
thing packed up and on their way his house,
he proceeded to his own store chuckling within
himself tina, now a, least, he had made bargain
at which his wife could not grumbe.
In due lime the Colonel was sitting at The
dinner table when lifting his eyes he observed
a cloud on his wife's brow. 6 Well, my dear"
said he inquiringly, w ell," repeated his wife,
/ IL 10 HOt we'll, L dH sc4Su Ue) Ouu cHuuIdHcc.
You know c., The auctioneer" Ger
tainIy." replied the Colonel sand very gen.
llemanly man he is Ioo." You may think SO"
rejoined the wife, {" but don't and will tell you
why" few days ago gathered together all
the rrumpery with which you have been clut-
tering the house for the last 10 months, and
sent it to him with orders to sell the lot imme-
dia,ely to the highest bidder for cash. He as
sured me he would do so this week at farIhest
and pay over the proceeds 10 my order. And
here | have been eongratulaling myself on
two things, first, in having got rid OF mos, in-
tolerab!e nuisance and secondly. on receiving
money enough .herefrom to purchase thai new
velvet hal you promised me SO long And now
what do you think this morning about
hour ago, the whole load came back again.
without word OF explanation :" The Colonel
looked blank for moment and then proceeded
to clear up the mystery. But the good woman
was paci6ed only with The promise OF a ten dol
lar note beside that in The hands of The auction
eer, on condition, however, that she should
never mention il. OF course she kept her
promise.