Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1848-08-15
Mrs Srruggins talk about Mr.. Skinkls.


"Thate bachelors, said Mrs. Scruggins
the other day, in quite an energetic man
ner, al do, indeed. l don't mean them
as is young, but them as is old in sir, land
can't be reformed, and coaxed to marry.
What an orful state is single blessedness!
Blessedness, indeed! I'D rather be dog
in the moon, as Shakspur says, than mar.
ryan old bach'lor. ! was tellin' Mr..
Skinkle the other day---Mr. SkinkIe isn't
a old h'lor, he's only thirty-seven--
was tellin' Mr.. Skinkle, that all the old
baeh'lors should be imported to Africa;
where the sun would warm'em up little,
make 'em friskey like, aud then they'd
propose. He looked at me over the top
of his dear green specs, and said as how,
bachelors would be bachelors until after
they was married. In course | agreed
with him, and then he told me the reason
cause he didn't commit himself, inter
mattermony. Twas very affecting
Story; and he told it in SIGH a sorrowfnl
kind of way, it made me feel for him very
much. He said, he was a misfortunate
man, and had had grevus time of it in
his life. He couldn't complain about
Perfumery matters; he was we'll enuff to
do in the world, but then he had been
desperate unlucky, PARTICULARLY with the
feminines. He never could git along
with 'em, be said; cause he fell in love
with 'em all. He couldn't help it; it was
material, he believed, and was a family
failin.' | told him he needn't be 'shamed
of it, and then he smiled excessive softly,
and said as how he wasn't. When he
was eighteen he was in love with little
angel of fifteen. or therea bouts, who lived
next door to his house in Cincinnater.--
The families h I'd an hydren atween EN-,
and he used to meet her there DRAWN
water. Somebody had bored hole in
the lead squirt of the hydren. and she'd
set the water goin,' and drink out of it
Mr.. Skinkle said q how he allays drunk
arter her, and it was wonderful how of,
ten they was dry. After he'd got well
know'd to her, he used 10 60 into her
house to see her, and the end Of it was,
he got in love; and she said she loved him.
too, better than emmy thing. 'And, Mrs.
Skinkle, 'what do you think was the end
on it? Eleven months and two weeks
arter got 'quainted with this little angel,
would you b'lieve it, the deceilful mink
went and married an old bachelor, jest
cause he was worth plum. 1t was
dreadful blow, but got over it, howsum.
ever Well, when he got older Mr..
Skinkle got wiser, so he said, and went
Iookin' for steady feminine for wife.
There was plenty of 'em, but they was
all too anxious to git married, and he was
afraid he'd be tuck in, so he kept on a
watin' and waitin' till he was twenty.
six, and then he fell in love with a ser.
want gal! He didn't tell me emmy thing
about that affair, howsumever, 'cept that
he didn't marry her. A year alter that
time he was tux by dashin' wilder,
who had cum out to the west. He was
Jest on the pint of preposin' to her, when
he heerd that she had small family of
nine children in New York, and that was
jest nine more step children than he
wanted, he said as how he "crawfished, :"
which means, backed out.
Time flew away from him, and at thirty
Mr.. Skink!e-was not married. He began
TO think about it serious, then, he said,
and set up strong to young feminine
who had jest left boardin' school. He
Cultivated her round to all the balls, and
concerts, and pic hicks, and fishin' par.
ties, and paid all kinds of 'Ientions to her.
AFTER gittin' the consent of her father
and mother, and takin' all the trouble he
did-don't you think she wouldn't have
him cause he was so short-she wanted
a heroic statue--six feet high at the
very least. Then he got mad, and went
to settin' up to two feminines at wunst-
he had two strings to his bow, he said.-
This was worse than all, for they found
1t out; and when he asked one of 'em,
she said, no wonder his eyes was crossed,
1ookin' two ways for wife; and the other
he asked last said, she wasn't emmy boiy's
second pick. This frustrated him little,
and he didn't 60 courtin' emmy more for
long while afterwards. He was des.
perate 'fraid of wimin with high temper.
atures, and allays perferred them as was
mild and unconsuming. He got 'quaint-
ed with one Ofthis'ere kind, as he thought
andwas very much taken with her ways
She was so gentle, and never got vexed
at all, to all pearances. He was 'iokin'
with her, one day, and Inadvertently he
axed her if curls was natural, and ifthem
four front teeth of hers wasn't false? She
flew in orful passhun, and invited him
to get out of her sight, and never show
bis face again. Ever since that day, Mr..
Skinkle has a horror of mild faced femi.
mines; he allays perfers them that shows
some spirit. My countenance, he said
was one of them kind as does"
AH*a %, *a5 m
With this remark, Mrs. Scruggins
leaned back in her rocking chair, and