The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1848-08-04
Ours almasunoi.
Natural Hisssry Of Man.

BY ORR JONATHAN.
Maxisa tall. straight. upright, perpendicular J'pcd
ofthe ce,nus Homo and class Mammal'a.
No, being supplied by nature, as most other nam
m,er,ns ANIMALS are, with sufficient quantity OF
hair 70 protec, him from the weather, and being We
ny delicate and warm hooded, and whal an exceed
jnrly modest animal, he has resoued to various me-
thods to supply this defect Of nature by an artificial
covering, which he manufactures ont OF different am
NAL and vegetable materials, such as the wool OF
sheep the hides Of cattle and various kinds OF peiFy
cotton, fax. hemp six, &c
In this artificial covering he has quite number Of
poucbes or pockets, in which he carries variety Of
small articles for his comfort and convenience. The
haud,cst and most used ofthese are the two that ar
situated Immediately the thigh joints in the fork
ed garment That covers the legs and posierlors In
one or other fthese, among other things, he gene
,aly carries a small instrument, with one or morc
metallic blades, with which he cuts his food, and ire
wen,v amuses himself by whiting sticks. And
some carry small flat pieces olmetal, which seem to
he held in great esteem among these animals, and IN
exchange for which they procure from each 9th
or any article of food or clothing, and any comfort
luxury. or service. And some ofhc more filthy sp'-
c!es carry in one or other OF these same pockets,
loathsome and sickening weed called tobacco, which
they seem to be very fond OF chewing and cut Of
which they carry in their mouthsall day long, scarce
" laying it aside long enough to take necessary food
II is extremely amusing to see small herd OF these
animals gcttogeiher and some one of them take from
his swealy pocket a chunk of this iayorite weed and
pass it round among hsftlIows, who will nbb.e otia
qrid with ms much compaccncy and sang. tr0id as
monkey would discuss peanut.
In the close Carmen, that covers the breast some
of the more domcstcatednn refined classes carry
pretty and curious instrument OF which they seem to
Re very proud aniby which they pretend to measure
time and tell when the sun i too fast or slow
The glrncnt that covers the body generally hangs
down over the postcHors in kind OF tail or skirt
which also confirms two or mo7c pockets In these
they generally carry fruit nuts, and such other arli-
ces as are TOO cumbrous for their close bodied pochs
cts And some of the more refined and tidy use one
OF these to carry clean silk or linen rag, into which
when necessary, they blow their noses; but the more
filthy classes generally perform this operation with
their paws, and fling thr proceeds on the ground, or
wipe it ofion their Irgs
A. to food, man Is the most voracous and ep.cu
rean in his habits OF the whole animal kingdom, and
is equally caruiyerous, ganiyerous tngyrrous,
graminiyerous, and whi-keyvcrous He feeds ndis- .
criminnr'y upon almost every product Of the animal
and vegetable Kingdoms FROM the graSs and weeds /.
Of the field, up to the juicy clusters that hang among
the tagunt blossoms Of the tape,lred grove apples
pears, peaches pUr- ncclarincs cherries grapes ias
dates, oranges, lemons. pine apples, pomemanates
melons, sqlashes, pumpkins gourds, cimbn-. wheat
corn, rye oats barley. peas beans onions, pctaoe.,
turnips bceis ra3ishys, plr-nps cabbage. lettuce.
cowslp, mustard, pc:scy, net'Ic- to5acco, and
great many other weeds too numerous to mention
and in the animal kiu1lom from the most loaih-uuc
and disgusting reptile lnl clawls IN die slime, up 10
the giant buocl, tatIyans the broad and boundrs-
prnirie= blhalols bulls oxen cows calves. clks deer.
goats, sheep haIe rabbits squirrels. poccats, opo=-
sums, coons, wolves dogs rails nice, swine turkeys,
cranes, geese, chickens, hawks, crows birds. f-h,
frogs, tauapIns ees, snakes, lznrds, snaIls crabs.
Holsters oysters, BUGS lice. Sc, besides a thousand
and one different swls and mixtures called Injuries,
such as tea, coffee, chocolate, whiskry brandy. .
gin, rum. wilma, ogwool, mui-ulcps, todlcs ice
cream, soda water. beer ale porter, mnce p.cs, ,
bread pudding, etc, etc; md any quantity Of drugs
and medicines, ba.ras and cordals TO work them all
oil the stomach
Man IS generally supposed to be The mosl saga
cious aninol in existence, and there are many good
arguments both for oniaglinst this position The
most intelligent species Of this animal is reucnIy
though; to be The YGaEers herd" of which were
first discovered in the forests Of New England a
bout the wear l77f and which, ut that time Were ex-
ceedinay hostile and annoying 10 species called the
British Red Coats which then ranged the same for
ess, but have since been entirely driven out by the
more saglcious and indomtnbe Yankees This
species are now sproad BY migration and amalrnma-
ton over nearly the whole world, and are every
where looked upon By other animals as being "dcci-
dedly some pumpkins"
For more extensive description Of this ex,raor-
binary animal, we beg leave to refer the studous
reader to a very ancient work compiled from the
writings Of Moses and several other distinguished
authors, entitled the Bible; which describes him full
ly and infinitely ms he existed great many years
ago in Asia, TO which country he seems to have been
INDIGENOUS, and which gives more perfect and mi
mute account ofhis peculiar nature habits and dis
position than any other work cxtant; and. withal.
relates how that Grent many years ago the whole .
rncc came very near being exinGuishcd by n great
freshet, that happened in Asia before any Of them
had migrated from that country. We would also
refer to the writings of Joscphus to Puarchs Lives
Rollins Ancient History, Ro,reck's History of the
World, Pope's Essay on Man. and the various po-
litca papers ofhc day.
But the best way to get perfect knowledge of
the habits and disposition of this anmnl is TO attend
the menngercs-where he publicly exhibited in dir- .
feren, attitudes; at churches, eating houses, groce-
RES ccuscs cornhuskings, opplc-bces, 18th of July
celebrations, etc