Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1848-07-13

present day, held forth short time since,
At Dansille, Penn. On giving notice bis
intention 70 preach, he requested the la
dies not 70 bring their children when they
came 70 hear him. lie thought il was o
nough TO hear enc crying aloud in the viii
derness al time. :
aTherc i no rude without an exception,
my son s0h isn't there, pal a man
must always be present while he Is being
shaved my dear, hadn't you hotter send
this. child % bed the's too clever
A rabid Locofoco, who was very much
dissatisfied with the nomination Of sold
rs.ssss- hssssr-O-rsss.l -.-f-usursa-ssE--
their Inconsistency in supporting militia
~ man. AThese - Feds said he,
] -niadc great cutlery against General
Jackson because he was military man.
and now they have gone to work and no
minated tAtmost mEliaStarycst man IN
he Hatsonn
Il there any situation worse than 4 law
yer's clerk Yes that ola lawyers client,
A man down East committed great
blunders the other day. In state ofmen-
cal alteration, he sheared whole drove
OF hogs, instead of shearing flock of
sheep, and did not discover his mistake
till one hog ran between his legs and
threw him down
Cheeringi is il to the man with the long
beard when he sees BARRIERS pole ii the
distance; but II he discovers thatthere is
no shop when hc gets there, it is quite dis.
couraging. i.
There are three things IN this world
which may be doomed unpleasant. One
of thcm is, 70 be lobster and be boiled A.
live in pot Another one is to have
your bride run of with another man be-
fore the wedding night has commenced.
and the other Is, to have Dutchman tun-
bic into your hasty pudding before YOU
have eaten mouthful
Blessed is the man that has two sweet
hearts for, If ono won't hear him another
will
Blessed is the man that has hot pea SCUM
on windy day, as it will save him tho
trouble Of cooling itwith his own breath.
Blessed is the girl who has two strings |
70 her beau, provided they are leading
strings,
Blessed is the old gentleman who has |
handsome daughter. All the young men
will trade at his shop. i
Blessed is the duck which gets under
bridge during rain storm, as she will not
wei her feathers
Hdcbating society out West---somc saw
down East--has taken up the question |
whether Polly Hopkins was really cruel I
or not in refusing the hand of Tommy
Tompkins. It is true that Tommy calls /
her cruel, but these charges made By low
ers are not always correct.
A man, very fond Of kissia eeyery wo-
man but his wife, lately married a brisk
young widow, and whom be began to Kiss
tho women, she begaif to kiss the mon
10 lcff of and called it half day.
I'm give you a poke in the eye" as the
thread said to the needle. Nj
What kind Of grain is frequently taken
is security for hundreds of dollars An
cat. A note.) II
Rice straw hats, made in Canada, are Of
fered for sale at Louisville, as Northern
hats with Southern principles
4 paper says, duel Is on footat Wash
ington. It Is we'll that it Is not on horse
back, as the horses might get hurt.
Thequestion whether dead bodies should
be stolen for the benefit Of surgical science,
Is said u be a grare subject +
Tho Able Malot expressing doubt to
Richeliea how many masses would save
soul, the cardinal replied, g Pho, you're a
blockhead As many as it would snowballs
70 heat an oven
a lady in 4 paroxysn Of grief was said |
70 have shed torrents Of tears. Poor |
thing" remarked an unfolding punster,
she must have had catcract in each |
eye
A lovosick swain, DESTROYS to indicate |
the extent and character Of his love for the !
queen Of his heart, cried out, - An, Sal,
Sal, my affection for yoa is as strong as
as--Ns--she butter they gave me for DIM
uer.n
IfwAs wASrEp-A Yankee has invent
ed new kind Of nal, warrantedto nail po-
hticsl lies @ the counter perfectly secure.
Il viii Be impossible 10 manufacture e
ne1gh TO answer the demand.
TEMPERANCE HOTEL.