Richmond palladium., 1848-05-31
Curious Antics by Nsrs. ScruE:in>S :
Old Cow.

land sich q COW. She used - COME up
, as regular to her milk as clock WORK.
She'd knock at the gate with her horns
. Jest as sensible, Her name was Rose.
never know'd how she got that name. for
, she was as black as Il kittle. One day
Rose GOT sick. and wouldn't eat. poor
thing. and day or two after she died
do b'lieye cried when she was gone
. Well. we wen; little viii. without a
COW, but told Mr. s. il wouldn't do no
how-wc must have another. and he
gin in. Whenever | said a.uSt. Nj. s.
knew that meant II. Wen, few days
: afer he came home from market with the
finest COW and young calf ever seed
he gave thirty dollars for her and the calf.
and two levies to a man 10 help bring her
home. They drove her into the back
yard, and Mr. s. told me TO come oot and
see her, and did. went up to her jest
as used 70 do tu Rose. and when | said
poor Sukev. the nasty brute, would YOU
b'leve. she kicked me. Her foot caught
in my dress. a bran span new one. which
cost two leyics yard, and she took le
vv's worth right out of it. and then how
wicked she struck her head at me. ]
screeched right out. Mr.. s. jumped and
caught me Jest as was dropp;ng-l wasn't
quite as heavy then-and he carried me
to the door. and | went in and sot down.
| felt faintish, | was abominabiv skecr-
ed. Mr.. S. said he'd learn her some man
ners. so he picked up the poker and went
oti:. but hadn't hardly begun to get a
little strengthened ND afore i'll rushed my
dear husband, fourishin' the POKER a, the
vicious COW, who. with her head down
and tail up. was running at him like mad.
Mr.. s. jumped into the room, but before
he had time to turn round and shut the
door. that desp'rate COW was in too. Mr..
S. oot up OH the dinning table, and run
into the parlor. | thought I'd be safe
there. but | was skcered SO bad that for
got to shut the door, and would You b'lieve
il. after hooking over the dining table,
ana ro!ln' Mr.. 5. off, in she walked into
the parlor, shakin' her head Jest as much
as to say. III give you fetch now.
i jumped up on chair. but lhinkin'
that not high enough. | got one foot on
the top of the large brass knob on the
Franklin stove, and put the other on the
nlantcpiece. was safe therc-shc
couldn't reach nc. You ought to have
seed that COW in our palor-she looked
all round if she was 'mazcd. At last
she looked in the large mirror and saw
another COW. as she thought eXhibitin'
passion like herself. She shuck her head
and paned the carpet. and of course 50
did her reflection. and would you b b'lieve
II, the orfiil brute went right into my mir
ror-the big new one had only had two
months. boo hoo'd right out. ! s'posc
she thought she heered the calf, for she
tried to get out, and IN going rouf..>t. 'he
room she pokcd her head into Mr.. SIS
book casc-no doubt she smelt the calf
skin covers. All this time | was getting
a-oniz ID. The brass mob Oh the stove
got SO hot that had to sit down on the
narrow mantle-piecc and hold on to moth
in. | darsilt move for fear I'd slip Off
Mr. :. went to the front door. but it was
locked, and he then came to the window
and opened il. jumped down and run
/ for The window. and hadn't more than got
my head out afore heered her comm
after me. Gracious, but | was in a hur-
ry. '-.lore haste less speed always, for
the more tried TO climb quick, the long
er it took me: and would you blieve it.
Jest as got ready to jump down, that
brute of COW caught me behind & threw
me clear over and over on: otthe window.
! W ell, dear. when | got right side up
as they put on lookin' glass boxes. look
ed up az the winder. and there stood that
COW. with her head est between the red
and white curtains. and with another pitcc
Of my dress danglin' on her horns.
''ilusband and me was Just startin for
the little alley that run along side OF the
house. when the COW Civ bawl. and out
the wlnder she came. Nhiskin' her tail
about, it caught fire in the Franklin stove.
and il sarvcd her right. Mr. 5. and me
run into the alley in such a hurry that we
GOT wcdred fast. Husband tried to
get ahead. but had been in the rear long
enough. and wouldn't let him. Would
YOU b'lieve it. that dreadful COW no soon
G, seen us in the alley than in she dashed,
but thank goodness she stuck fast too
Husband tried the gate, but it was fast too.
and there was nobody inside the house or
ward 10 open it. Mr.. 5. wanted 10 climb
! over and unbolt it. but | wouldn't let him
i wasn't going ID be left alone again
with that Gesp rate COW, if she was fast.
and so told him. made him help me
over the gate. All, dear, climbin' a high
gate when you are skeered by a COW. is
dreadful, and know il. l got over. let
husband in. and then il took him, and me.
and four neighbors. to git that dreadful
critter out Of the alley. She beloved
and kicked. and her calf beloved to her,
, and she beloved back agin. but we got
her out at last, and sich time. ah, dear
i had enough of her. Husband sold
her for $4,000 the next day. II cost
him seventy-fIve cents to get her TO mar
ket, and when he tried to pass one of the
five dollar bills he got-wotild YOU b'ieve
1.-THE nasty rag was a counterfeit. Mr..
Scruerins said to his dying day that he
b'liesed the brother of the man that sold
him that COW. bought it back agin. !
b'lieye it helped to worry my dear husband
to death. An, child, | know what cows
is,''
The old lady's agitation was SO great
at This point Of her story, that she dropped
stitch in her knitting.-S.. LOUIS Rer-
ellie.