Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1848-06-06
hrs. Scraggins on ArlsrOcraey.


''the;n that periends to be better than com.
mon folks, and put on airs, and strut about
like peacock shown their fine feathers.
It's hOrrifcalto The feelings. They think,
cause they're in affabIe circumstances.
other people must bow down to 'em like
Jacob did to the melted calf, or look 10 TO
EN- like Moses did to the bullrushes. It's
muslin to see these people sometimes
Ngoln' Into meetin'. lift is one ofthe fem
mime aristocraticals, il takes whole isle
to hold her, and she minces along jist like
. 9 little short pony goin' to mill. loaded
with three sacks of corn, aBd little boy
20 boot. When she lakes seat in pew,
which orter hold six common people, there
isn't room enough left for two more.-
Then il puts one in a fidgei to sit near
'em, they seem SO Uncomfortable, sittin'
bolt upright; lookin' for all the world like.
they'd bite the first Individual that come
near 'em. ~
"Ihe men aristocrAticals are a heap
worser; they drop the man. in iryin' to
folier the fashins, and put on the monkey.
seed one on 'em last Sunday. with his
hair all done up slick, his handkerchief
tied SO tight around his neck. he looked
like he was chokin', and his psnraIoons
strapped down so tight he had TO sit DIVA
very slow, for fear Of Dustin 'em. He
had on big coat, which they call, sacks.
apd The name is distressirgy applicable,
for i was made jist like bag, and is WORT
with the back part afore which is the
reason they cali 'em double breasted,
'spose. He had on sky blue gloves, and
a star be-spaBgIed banner kind of waist
coat. He had besides one OF them things
they call muskeiers on HE upper lip, and
long hair like goats was growin' down
from his chin. could hardly keep from
laughin'. he looked so lunny. When he
set down in the pew, he looked all round
him, and for fear folks wouldn't see him.
he pulled out handkerchief trimmed with
lace, and bowed his nose in way which
said, ''loOk at me if YOU want to, l sin't
particular. heerd ,oung feminine sit.
tin in front Of me whisperin' to another.
what love Of man, and how Hastily he's
dressed. If that young vomin had been
q relation of mine, I'D give her lecture
on the dangerousness of bein' TUX in by
'pearances; for il is unreputable fact,
that them az tries to be aristocraiicals, or
tashiOnables allays carry their pie boxes
las steam boatmen calls trunks, on their
backs. | like tc see people dress we'll.
but, as Mr.. Skinkle says, all heavenly
bodies have caIimatin' pint, so think
earthly bodies should have one too.
"Arissocraticals in kumpany ar pirtic.
Ularly unagreeab!e they can never talk
about ennything 'cept it is Their friends,
and the way they use 'em up is orful. I've
noticed the poor arstocraticals run down
the rich, and vice verse. The poor ones
cay, the rich ones puts on airs, cause
they've got little more money than other
tolks's; and then they talk about family
connections, who never lived, 'cept in Their
imagination. The rich laugh at the poor,
aud say they shouldn't try to move in the
upper ten crowd, cause they can't afford
il. Mr.. Skinkle, our boarder with the
green specs. says the arisfncraticals will
be the de;h OF our glorious constitution.
aud think so too. cause, tween YOU and
1, 1t is wondertI how very tight some oil
the upper ten teIninines do lace, and il
mus be injudicious to he health.
t''Some Of 'em as calls 'emseIves the
inclusives, go to concerts and To the thea
tire. and carry with 'em q'iizzin' glasses
through Which they stare az other pc 1p.e
without Their known it; thinkin' spoSp.
it amt modest to be seen lo0kin at one
with Their naked eyes! They're worse
than young feminine [ heed of. whu
was so terrifically modest, she wouIhn'
own up to a bare idea OF all the folIys
aud fashions, | think that of p+elendin' ,o
be half blind or near sighted is decisively
J. the most contenp'uons.
eBut what is most affactin' to my feel.
ms, is, to see chem who try to pass them
ssselves off for arisiocralicals, aud can't ca
! It. Them that cringes and lawns on the
IicbSand then turn up Their pug noses at
honest poor folks, like "a sau.y pet lap dog
Which is fed on cake, turns IN his nose a,
good, wholesome brown bread which h.
is glad e,fbugh To get, when kicked out o.
the house AID half starved 1t makes me
rite mad to see EN- And then wher
tshsy want favor done. how kind the,
are; show very condescendin' IN their de-
partmert! And after you have done 'eu
the favor, the next time you meet 'em il
the Street, they'll loGk up in some winder
or be 'tracted by somethin' very interest
in on the other sidn of the street Mr.
Soruggins used to say, that he allays hat
q very low opinion of aristocraticais ever
since Mr.. who said he was mem
Der OF one OF the F. F. RS, ran off from
Cincinnati, after borrowin' fifty dollar,
from him Iallays advise my friends neveI
TO lend money 10 them that talks lou
about bein' one Of the aristocraticals, a,
them kind ofpeople never pay Their debts
Fve-uevev heard a word about them fifi,