The Sumter banner. [volume] (Sumterville, S.C.) 1846-1855, 1848-03-22

tips: and topped OFF with an apple pudding.
He also added q little Whiskey to his meals,
by.way ofcoTre ntiyes to the sad condition
of his stomach. But il all will not do
The strong condiments and the whiskey,
although they helped him 10 The destruc-
stioni otIno small quantity of beef, cabbage,
and other matters, did dsnotsin the least aid
his stomach in converting those things into
good chyle, for the support and nourish-
$ment Of his gentlema1iy person. On the
contrary, they, rather tended, in the end,
to render his complaint worse and worse.
He next had recourse to oil the root
doctors and doctresses, within, fifty miles.
He took likewise ailt patent medicines
he could hear oE-the panaceas, the oath
olicons, and the infallible specifics. He
even took newspaper for-the sole pur-
pose of:reading the edyertiser"cnfs Of new
and important medicines, and the cerli-
ticates Of wonderful cures done and per-
formed through the agency thereof: But
after oil, poor Sam--or Gentleman SAM,
rs the neighbors called him-hud the
dyspepsia as bad as. ever.
But though hesnost' heartily hated oil
study, and from his soul eschewed read
ing in general, he accidently derived one
advantage from taking newspaper. in
looking, as usual, for infallible cures, he
chanced to meet with the following recipe,
from Down East paper.
Take OF. Camphor, or Myrrh--
pulverize and mix them together. Then
bore hole in the upper end of an axe
helve, sufficient to contain the mixture,
which put in and stop close. When this
has stood 26 hours in warm place, it
will be fit for use.'
Such was the substance Of the eastern
recipe.-But the manner of using it Sam
did not much admire. 1t was no other
than this-namely, to get up every morn
ing before the sun, and use the aXe-be-
ginning moderately at first, and increas-
ing the exercise by degrees, until the
heat produced by his hnn.ls should dissolve
the mixture within the helve; which ooz-
ing through the wood, should enter the
pores Of the skin, and so ditfuse itself
through his whole frame adding new life
and yigor to his enervated constitution.
"a murrain take the woRK!' said Sam,
sif' twasn't for that, shouldn't mind takin
the medicine mt ALL
He debated with himself for some days
what to resolve upon. Though he dis
liked the mode Of taking it, he had full
faith in the medicine, rs he had in all sorts
of newspaper recipes. His father adyis-
ed him by oil means to take it; and so
likewise did farmer Whipplctrce, and the
rest Of his acquaintance. The neighbors,
wished, above all things, to see Gentle
man SAM brought to labor again.
'IfI could only git the ingrediencics
into the pores Of my hand without chop
ping for it, SAID Sam, 4 shouldn't care.
But, however, work, or no work, must
take it, for Pm persuaded it's the only
thing that'll cure me,
He accordingly prepared him an axe
strictly in the manner prescribed, not
emitting to sci it in warm place twenty
six hours before using. His father took
care that the instrument should be well
; ground; and that there should be no lack
OF materials 10 work upon, assigned him
an acre Of the primitive forest, thickly
covered with oaks, becches, and naples,
TO be Gu. down and wrought into fire wood.
condemn it, said Sam, as he reached
the thick and lofty wood, :this is pretty
business for gentleman! But jumping
Joseph, it's good weeks work to cut
| down one Of these trees, to say nothing Of
chopping and splitting it up. And then
what the deuce has the ingredicncies in
! the axe hclvc to do with the chopping, |
should like to know. But howsonever,
rs said nfore, that's nyther here nor
there: it's SO set down in the newsprint,
and there's no disputing what that says
Sam now pulled off his genllcman's
coat, and fell too. He worked according
TO the recipe, with q degree Of moderation
at first; nevertheless he was obliged TO
slack away in order to recover his wind.
| He look special care, however, not to let
go Of his axe for minute, lest the handle
should cool, and thereby he should loose
The benefit of what he had already done.
Besides getting out Of breadth, his hands
began to get sore, and numerous blisters
| were seen elevating the skin like puff
paste.
'Consarn it all' said Sam, as he sat
down on a log to rest; this is hard med
cine. I'd rather take three bushels Of
the btterest roots and herbs that ever
grew. This work will kill me, MS sure as
live. Imay as we'll die with the dis
! pepsary, as to be cut off in the prime of
my days by chopping these infarnal big
trees. III give it up for bad job. |
never can endure these bloody blisters;
besides Pm SO tired ! can scarce stand on
my feet, let alone Pegging into the tree.
like q rotten red-hcaded woodpeckers
Good bye to the chopuing say
AS Sam said this, he shouldcred his
axe, and was about quitting the wood,