Ypsilanti sentinel. [volume] (Ypsilanti, Washtenaw Co., Mich.) 1843-1900, 1848-01-26

night be compelled to take care Of your

might be compelled to take care OF your
self.
As to the trades and professions, they are a.
like the world over, and beg to refer you, to
an essay by "Hawkenburg, on the art of Pira-
cy," in which it is legally demonstrates that
the dogs are entitled to the children's bread.
We are peculiar in our social habits. If Mrs.
Smith should happen to visit Mrs. Brown the
elite would make fuss, and Mrs. Black would
''cul' Mrs. Smith. Such amalgamation can
not be tolerated in good society. Mercy goes
in streaks and Charity, if it goes at all, is car
ried about fashionably, in public, and at last
thrown into the lap of affluence. The dis
tinctions of society must be sustained, other
wise it would degenerate into vulgarity. Flesh
and blood and intellect don't make man; but
as man thinks he is. Hence the necessity,
that one should think well and fashionably of
himself III he should happen to think one
neighbor, who behaves as well, to be as good
as another he would find his friends, when he
called on them, "not at home:"
You seem most anxious for your sons and
daughters. As my letter is now extended to
great length, | must be brief on that subject;
and may find occasion to write you again.
A young gentleman, in this place, TO become
irresistibly killing, is not obliged to have any
set habits Of morals or business. He is never
asked what way he spends his leisure. Being
the stronger sex, he is lord of the creation; may
drink, swear, be idle and gentleman by eour.
tesy: and par excellence may discourse freely,
minutely, critically and obsceney, upon the
sex in public places. His accomplishments
sneed only consist, of a tooth brush, box of
scented snuff, bottle of cologne. tooth pick, an
eyebrow brush. bunch of cigars, pack of cards,
cane and shilling. He must be professed
81, ,f oil <hx nd lodi
has a cold, and call on hei to enquire for her
health, every evening. He must manifest great
pain for her, and when he speaks to her must be
so polite as to address himself to her face like
a ball Of butter. He must look excessively ten
der, possess an infinite variety of small talk,
and he able to laugh when he cannot speak and
when he cannot laugh, his face must be taught
an exquisitey agreeable grimace; much like
that of hungry poodle looking at a piece of
meat. In the street bis head must be regula-
ted half quadrant 5y cigar. By all the beau
monde this exquisitely killing creature is
model of state, polteness and accomplishments,
and when he addresses himself to the sex, they
are undone entirely.
1t is necessary, for the weaker sex TO be more
particular. They must be above suspicion;
must have fashionable dress and bonnet
They should be purchased in some eastern CT
tv. (need not be paid for.) Care should be had
of the street in which they are purchased, for it
is the place and not the value that makes them
fashionable. They should never reflect upon
their own folly or vanity, long enough to ex-
tract wisdom from it but should have their
minds constantly engaged on conjugal mystic
ries, and the artof managing husband. Their
only horror should be the virgin bloom OF thr-
tv. They should keep constantly on the alert,
and If any gentleman happen in the place. they
should secure him at sight. If he should hap
pen to be dissolute. he must be called witty
and wicked: and then each lady must plan only
how she will reform him when they are mar
ried. All these things in her mind, must affect
him only as the Devils elixir did the monk
Medardus-make him appear more eloquent and
dashings
should have been much more full on the lat
ter subject. but time and paper do not admit it,
at presentr | doubt not YOU will love and ven
crate our customs.
Your Friend and obt serv't;
THOMAS SENSIBLE.
To JEREMIAH ExPEDIENcE, Esq.
P.S. This letter is strictly private: for should
it fall to the observation of any one who forms
part of our society, such one would be often
died. To sec ourselves as we are requires more
fortitude than to see ourselves as we wish to be
seen. 1t is said of heather princess, that up
on seeing herself the first time in glass, she