Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1848-03-17


lutely rubbed my little thin hands across my
eyes, and said rapidly to myself, ri must
try to be a man, mother says must not
cry-no, Johnny mus, not cry - it was a
hard struggle, but Johnny did not cry he
laid patiently and sorrOwtully in the gentle
mans arms.
That night Nancy undressed and put me
in my trundle-bed, scarcely speaking, nor did
she stop to hear my prayers, nor did mother
come in to give me her goodnight kiss, as
she always had. What fears filled my little
bosom. was awed and frightened by the
strange stiffness Of every thing and every ho-
dy. tossed restlessly about. ] talked aloud
to keep myself company. | said my priyers
over aud over again 10 comfort my heart aud
keep up my courage. When, at last, it see
med as if my mother even had forsakrn me,
| kept up a stout heart by whispering, "Ie-
sus loves little children, he does, mother
says 50. | am sure lie does, mother read 1t
10 me-"
What a world Of authority in smother says
SOL! Oh! mothers, say careful and judi
cious things, for your words never die.
Falling asleep, | dreamed Of rolling oil my
bed, that | was tied up in a leg of my draw
ers, and somebody was going to dash me IN
pieces. With my heart beating and ready
to break. | awoke. Silent, every thing ST.
lent. IL will find my mOther," was the he
roic, half.waking resolution, as tumbled
out of bed, with my poor, lame foot MY
fathers door was reached, beyond The long
dark entry, and | crept 10 through the half
open door. BY the pale lamp-light, ! could
see no one but a strange man on the bedside
My heart fell then | pushed a little farther
in on the other side of the bed sat the dear
object OF my night search. My mother!
my mother !" | did not cry it out, but my
heart beat with delight. Softly ! moved to-
wards her. She sat down, with her lace
bent over the pillow there was white all
about, and her face was very white too
She neither heard nor needed me, but had
found her, reached her chair, and was actu-
ally holding on the rounds, when heard a
strange noise, a eroan, a deep hard breathe
ing, which frightened me.
"It's all over" whispered the man.
My mothers head dropped upon the pill
low, and she sobbed in agony. 1t was the
chamber of death, | chung to her knee =
''Motler, dear mother ~ | whispered, some
thing between Joy, and sorrow, and terror;
do lot me stay with YOU" She looked
around, then taking me up. clasped me con-
vulsiveIy to her bosom, while her tears seal
ded my cheeks. "My poor, fatherless boy I!
Oh God thy will be done thy will be
done !" she exclaimed, as she laid her cold,
wet cheek upon my forehead. "Dear, dear
mother, | love you :" was all that | knew Of
the language Of comfort. Then when ex-
hausted and sinking under the weight of
grief and WEAKNESS, they put her to bed and
would take Inc away from her, / prayed them
to let me lie by her side; IL would be still,
/ ,,rA,ll BOT lzN,,l, - AL - IL. kill nA~-, 81
she said TO those who would have thrust me
back into the trundle-bed. She opened her
arms, and | nestled close into her bosom,
showing my synpathies by kissing her
night-gown, when | could not approach her
face without disturbing her, and by grasping
her arm and circulating smother, dear moth
err" Amid her tears and broken prayers |
fell asleep. | nave always thought since
that painful and dreadful night, a tie seemed
to link me to my mother unlike my BROTH
ers~ nearer and dearer. My heart, little tho
it was, had beat close to hers in the darkest
hour.
Sad days followed sad to my mother,
sad to my brothers, as they began to realize
in the funeral pomp and procession, the af-
Fiction which had befallen them no sad
der to me, than the DAYS when | lived alone
in the nursery. Now | could sit by her side
and look, when would, up into her pale, sad
face.
"You have a great responsibility, certain
ly, the bringing up of your three boys" said
a friend who Came to pay my mother a visi
of sympathy "but it is not as though yol
had not enough TO do WITH" contrasting tn
luxuries about us with her OWL narrow
home.
ii do not know how that will be- answer
ed my mother, with a sigh a prophetic sig
it proved to be.
The next painful scene FASTENED on, a
examination of my fathers affairs and s%etiIin
his estate. No will was discovered, nor wa
his reason granted long enough 10 say an
thing regarding a future provision for hi
family. On the last night it was said he a
tempted to speak, and looked with unutteri
y BILE sorrow upon my mother; but what lai
= upon his mind, his lips in vain tried TO II
veal.
Ii was not long before Mr.. Madison Jonet
who administered on the estate, began TO u
: ter short and significant growls, that ''thing
I were no better than they should be; that
e was just as he always said Phillip lived / c
v fast; yes, he knew from the first how
: would be; his family would be left poo
v left to come upon their friends !" Cous
n Madison was famous for seeing results VIII,
they appeared /; it is not every one who
thus gifted.
Al last it came out naked enough, that IT
\ father was a bankrupt. We were poor, a
. ~solutely poor, but for a small sum belongiI
n to my mother, and secured to her in a "a
= rage contract. Its interest had never be,
d touched, and so it amounted to somethin
o bnt little enough, upon which to bring
o three boys. Rich relations, we had but or
n Mr.. Madison Jones, and he only a cousin
e my father; a rich cousin, who prided hi
d self upon his money, and valued other peoI
by the same standard.
And now what was my mother TO do! L
moment she knew the actual state of thin.
she began to act. Would she open a boal
ing house, that genteel and uncertain alter
tive for poor g%entlewomen If possible, l
her time must be given to her boys.
~ Would she move into the quarter of that SIN
,e tenament in a back street, behind cou'
Madison's, and take in sewing, letting |
es eldest live half of his time at his namesaks