Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1848-01-13
Gun,urous.
From the Saturday Evening fost
THE LAWYERS WOOING.
ny RUDOLPH.

THE LAWYERS WOOING.
ny RUDOLPH
"Oh tho glorious uncertainties Of the law"
The Doctors tale reminds W. Of case
Once ltga,ed in my native place.
|, too, was once in love, though now you SEQ
| am Bachelor, old, rich and free,
And joying in connubal escapes,
Look at my married friend, and cry, "sour grapes"
My love was learned-she could understand
My latin terms, aud write good fair hand,
Could criiicise MontesQuieu, quote from Kent
In res iegis become quite eloquent
And tLon she had the last, but yet not least
Ten thousand dollars in a Bask dsgn Fat
woody glen near DER old homestead lies,
All flowers aud voidure, and abe VS. the size
orour new Court House, where in pleasant weathc
We orlen walked, and aw.books rcrd ogether.
Here, like the Doctor, with deliberations"
] summoa.dher to hear my declarations
Received if coquctry met, to brave it,
felt no fear, III take my affidavit,
Yet, though we lawyers aic no blushing mon,
A .fefi facias l'll own to then.
she came, und welcome was that meid to me,
As a rich clients frs, retaining foe
And |, with Kent in hand Coke under arm,
How could fail to strike with awe, to charm'
How bona fde could she eer denv
The potoer Of attorney such as
Madame, "I said " | meet you in this place
As counsel and complainant, in case
In which myself my charming sweet Philu y,
Art the Defendant and the Judge aud Jury.
q pray your patience, shalt soon he done,
Auolhet cause of mine comes on al ote.)
oh glorious shades of Blackstone and of Coke,
From your reposo your presence | invoke,
Inspire your humble follower to-day,
And aid the cause of Quibbe uerSus Grey!'
Thon hemmcd twice. then knoted up my face,
And opened thus my all important case:
On, or about the first of last July,
Defendan, passed my Office window by
Her large blue eyes were slyly ca me turned
Their glowing Flunces To my hearts core buTnedi
was engaged in making out brief
For my host silent, notorious thief;
But pens and books and papers all were scattered,
And o'erturncd ink around me thckly splttered,
Foi up sprang, amid the students laughter,
And outdoors ran, my cliout bawlng after
Following my love, DER the city few,
And lost my cause, and lost my CLIENT too.
Now, gentlemen, taxi notice while trace
Crimes ay, and criminals, in said Defendants face
Arson, yes, cruel, awful arson, lies
In the keen fishes of her deep, dark eyes
Lovely incendiaries, they stand contest,
Klndlers Of que1chless fires within the breast!
Em5e-zlemeat I charge each red lip,
Embezzlament Of sweets the bee should sip
In larceny her smiles all employed
They steal our hearts aud leave an aching roidi
While in tho curls of her uNurunt mir,
Murder, nj least MaaSiaug hter, ds'siioth there;
Herself forger, for with skill aud art,
She furges chains that clAnk around the heart.
In view OF all these facts, trqst the Jury
win pour the law on her in al its fury
lob. vNa,rrpis. .,sss - ~ 49,
For such an Que ought not t. 90 al urge"
Here ended the complaint, then did kneel
And then commenced my plea, ny soft appeal.
Behold me now, I'm to ootp 3, TO sue,
I've an attachment long had oul for you,
And trust that sheriff Love has done his part,
And promptly served tho Process on yourt heart.
All, should'st thou serve PeRre on tho Gfaces,
TO show how beautiful thy form and face is,
They'd need no Jury-roon, with bolts anil 10 ks,
They'd give this verdict, aRd not lelre the Dor
'Of mortal maids, she is the lowell st far,
And we admit her member of our 7st'
"Naught but those beauties that in thee saw,
Could lure from the Injuries OF the law,
And none eau win me but thysolf so fair,
From my cigars, and easy oflice.chair.
Thy image long has irespassoG my brain,
Where Coke aud blackstone josted it in vain,
Until Cdpas would be defed,
Nor Posse COmifdtus tear from thy side.
Now il thou wilt become my lawful wife,
Wen form partnership to last though life,
Equal not the sued and one the sutton,
Till Tell dise1se, the wide worlds prosecutor,
Serve his eeetmentpr upon cur reath--
Till, with his haJeds corpus cometh death
Ay, ill the Sexton, with attendant glooms,
Like old Hays comes to take us to the T1,nbs.
You know Pm always prompt in business, dear,
Shall we subpoena now the Parson hore ~
And she too spoks-Ah, how can bo expressed,
The riot which took place within my breast
1t Is enough To say, that with one word
To my fine declaration she demurrod!
No hope of compromise there was saw,
And thus IIied the ierrors orthe law
"I'Il iadiet you, Miss, before your Stern Papa,
And e1iiorari bring before Mamma :"
This only aroused heI derision-
Through her soul II miscellaneous delight sent
My Mau.ma will confirm my deeisiol,
My Papa wall quash your indictment!
And now will give you some legal advice,
Ia law take me for your mentor
Withdraw your adventurous sui; in trice,
And Mole PrOsequi enter"
Invent my way-but from that day,
never stupid,
As to show my face any case
With pettiOging Cupid.