Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1848-01-26
a. w. ELLIOTT.


4 Tennessee Squire.
There fourished for many years in a
certain village in the good State of Ten
nessee an eccentric old fellow who re-
loiced in the name of Peter lizard: and
for eleven wears he filed the important of
fee. known in various parts of the Union
as Magistrate. Alderman. or Justice of the
Peace. Whether 50 restricted by law, or
whether it was owing to the little business
done and credit given in the neighborhood.
we know not but it is fixed fact that
there was never case before him of gre a
ter value than ten dollars. and that case is
now presented to the public. Daring the
long term of his official career. Squire Il
ard was equally celebrated for his infcxi-
bic integrity. and his singular manners.
ct strange t. say. he held office only by
the tickle popular Will. for it was an cleo
tive office. But he kept all the liquor.and
was the only man III town who could write.
In those halcvon days, newspapers and
common schools were unknown. His
honesty was also proverbial! Millions
could not have tempted him to have wrong
ed his btterest enemy Of a dime. And.
on the whole, he was popular. for so that
the decision was lust and upright. what
mattcrcd the uncouth phrase which it was
couchcd in. The she'll was rough and Bit
ter. but the kernel was sweet. We will
now give an example Of Squire yards
mode of proccc ding:
\ gentleman by the name of Nc Murran.
Of -. was riding through c..
where his horse cast a shoe. For repla
eng it. the blacksmith. whose name was
Enos Bildo. charged the cool sum of an
eagle. or rather two sovcrcigns. Natu-
rally indignant, our traveller refused TO
pay such an exhorbtant demand: and,
while he was cooling his bile and his
stomach at the "General Jackson the
tavern (par eXccilencc) Of the town. he
was arrested at the suit Of the son of Ful-
can: There being no other recourse, Mr..
flee, back of the bar. After being intro
duced into the august presence of the
Squire. and the charge stated, the follow
ing dialogue occurred:
We'll, sir. what is your name'
Nc Murran. sir.
.IIumph! Mr. Murran;-no other name.
sr!'
John Nc Murran. sir
No, Mr.. Curran-no alias!'
OF course | have not, sr,-I have no
need of any.
w here do YOU live. Mr.. Carrion!'
MY name is Mt Carron-l told you it
is Nc Murran.'
We'll. NJ. Mur,on, did YOU make any
bargain for shoeing Your horse!'
No. Sir
Then, Mr.. Burton, you acted, sir-ex-
cuse me-like fool!'
Il did ut come here to be insu.tcd, sir;
and no man shall talk 50 to me-
i know YOU did not, Mr. Fulton: keep
silence. sir. or II fine YOU. 1ou acted.
sir do not contradict me) like a perfect
fool; and let this be a warning TO you. sir,
never to trust such scOundrel as Enos
Bildo (the smith) farther than you can
swing bull by the tail. You. sir. (to the
plaintiff | mean YOU. you skunk. You'd
steal the coppers on your dead mothers
eyes. you no-soulcd hog! The sentence
Of this court is. that YOU. Enos Bildo. shall
have two dimes for your work. which is all
it is worth: and if YOU say another word.
II knock YOU down. Clear this COURT
Fully satisfied with the verdict. and
highly amused with this adventure, Mac
went on his way rejoicing.
A DISH OF BOILED Cara few years
ago. a farmer who was noted for his wag-
gerry, stopped at tavern which he was IN
the habit Of stopping at. on his way from
Ito Salem. The landlady had got
the pot boiling for dinner. and the cat was
washing her face in the corner. The trav-
eller. thinking ii would be a good joke.
took off the pot lid. and while the land
lady was absent. put grimalkin into the pot
with the potatoes, and then pursued his
journey to Salem. The amazement Of
the landlady NAV well be conceived when
on taking up her dinner. she discovered
the unpalatable addition which was made
to it. Knowing we'll the dis position of her
customer. she had no difficulty in fixing on
the aggressor. and she had determined to
be reyenged. Aware that he would stop
on his return home for cold bite, the cat
was carefully dressed. The wag called
as he was expected. and pussy was put on
the table amongst other cold dishes. but
so disguised that he did not know his old
acquaintance He made a hearty meal.
and washed it down with a glass of gin
After pc wing his bill. he asked the landlady
if she could give him a cat. for he was
plagued almost TO death with mice. She
said she could not. for she had lost hers.
..What," said he, ..dont you know where
she ISL
..Oh yes,'' said she. ''vou have Just eat
it,' The man was never known to boil q
cat afterwards.
/ New counterfeit Five Dollar Indiana
n.