Wisconsin tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1847-1854, 1848-09-08
PEDDLING NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

There was in H., Sheriff named Nickem,
who was particularly expert in ferreting out
and furnishing pedlars who travelled without
license. One day he saw pedlar coming
up the road, and as usual he accosted him in
hopes offinding a cul prit whom he might fine.
Fine morn,'' said Nickem, reigning up
his nag in front of the pedlar's wagon.
s.'Tis pooty fine, guess, for yeour wooden
country said the pedlar.
''What have you got to sell-anything?"
said the sheriff.
Guess L hev few notions, one sort or
other. What'd yeou like to hev9 Got some
rale slick raze-surs, and some prime strops-
article guess you want, Squire, by the
look o. yer beard. And here's some rale gem
oowine paste blackln-make them old cow
hide boots o. yourn shine like dollar.'
''Thank you,'' said Nickem, s. don't use
blackin' grease is better, we allow. out this
way. But what's that stuff in bottles thar
is ii good to take % continued he, pointing to
a lot of labelled bottles.
'Well | guess, Squire, it is a sort o. good
its balm of Columby; good for the .har'
and cures the belly-ache; all nation fine stuff
for assisting poor human natur',' as the poet
says, in the affairs of life. And such stuff
for eXpandln' the ideas, and causin' them to
flow spontaneously. Knew a fellow once
who took bottle on the 4th of July, and sciz-
zors didn't he make fiamin' speech! Daniel
Webster and Henry Clay got ashamed of
themselves and went clear hum Fact, by gol-
ly.'
''What dye ask for it - inquired Nickem
"a dollar a bottles the price. Squire, but
seein' it's yeou, guess I'll let yeou hev it for
seventy-fve cents. Cheap as dirt, amt it,
Well, | reckon I'll take bottle. There's
the change" said Nickem.
but there's the balm O. Columby. Want
nothin' else In my line to-day, Squire % said
the composed and vivacious Yankee.
B'lieve not--oh yes, now l think of it
stranger, have you got license for peddling
in this State p said Nickem, coming to bust
ness.
Guess l hev, 'Squire-may be yeou'd like
TO see it -
Well, stranger, SEEM as I'm the high
Sheriff of-this country, shall trouble YOU to
show your hcense.''
- Oh. certin certin, 'Squire-yeou kin see
it-there 1t is, all fixedup in black and white' .
:. It's all right, perfectly right" said Nick
EN-. folding up the document and handing it
back to the pedlar, and he added, don't know
now that l have bought this plagy stuff, that
| keer anything about it. | reckon | may as
well sell II to you az n; what'n you give for
it -
Oh, / don't knows the darn'd stuffs any
use W me. Dut ScSiit II Stots SAcIiil. guess
I'll give yeou about thirty-seven and half
cents for it, quietly responded the trader.
The high Sheriff handed over the bottlean
received the change, when the pedlar said
8 say, yeou. guess I've question to ask
jest now. Hev yeou got pedlar's license a.
bout your trowsis p
No, havn't no use for the article, my
SELF said Nickem.
Hain't, ehs Well, guess ven see a
bout that, purity darn'd soon. Eff ] under
stood the law. meow it's clear case that
yeou've been tTadin' with me-hawkin' and
pedlin' balm o Columby on the highway. and
| shall inform yeou-I'H be darned eff
don't"
Reaching the town the Yankee was as good
as his word. and the high Sheriff was nicked
and fined for lpeddlihs ,cifhoaf license. The
Sheriff was heard to say you might as well
hold creased eel as live Yankee.