Wisconsin herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1846-1849, 1848-11-04
MISCELLANEOUS.
A TALE OF BAsHFULNEss.
By HEINRIc soHoKKE.

ought 10 be. allofd dHVlng lilusuatic8l~r
the truth of my assertion.
Ny father-God rest his soul-sent me
diligently to school; there ! gained some
knowledge, although our city shoots at that
period were none of the best.
Every one said: MAX has talent, but he is
shy and awkward, cannot adapt himself TO
the ways of the world, is unacqualnted with
the usages of society, and never knows what
to do with his hands and feet; otherwise he
is good and clever fellow enough.
Such was The general opinion of me
Reader, do you perceive my falling! My
worldly education was defective. Diligent
at school and in the workshop, was UNI
Clearly and negligent of my attire; was CIV
il, obliging and honest, but hashful wlthal,
so that ran off when unknown persons APP
preached; my eyes never knew where TO
look for a resting place when addressed by
a stranger, and if called upon to meet la
DIV with civiity and politeness, | became
rooted to the spot, speechless and stiff as
ramrod
Enough-politeness and ease of manner,
as they are called, are concerns no less per-
tanning to life and lfe's comfort, than bread
and potatoes or a glass of wine.
Many young gentlemen, as | have often
observed, are greatly wanting in these re-
spects. Many one on going INTO society is
sadly at a loss how to dispose of his eXtrem-
cites and would, one can easily perceive,
have much rather left them at home. Many
such an unfortunate knows not how to quar-
ter his hands, thrusting them at one moment
into his waistcoat, at another into his breech-
es pockets, then in despair raising one or 9TH
er to his occiput, there TO scratch by way of
variety.
Among other i'll luck entailed by my awll
wardness, may be reckoned that Of being
still bachelor, of having reached my fifty
second year without being blessed with
wife.
No sooner was my old aunt dead, and
her sole heir, thereby rendered comparative
y affluent, than |, then in my thirtieth year,
was led TO seek the hand Of a young lady,
who to other qualifications added beauty,
virtue, amiability, and wealth beside.
| was we'll pleased with the pretty BAR
BARA; matters were quickly arranged, and
nothing remained but to cultivate her ac-
quaintance. was accordingly invited to
meet her at the house of her cousin, and an
invitation to dine was forwarded to me.
OF large parties had a perfect horror, my
aforesaid defective education making me
shy and timid; but, then, what will not a
imam do to secure the favor of pretty BAR
BARA? SO put on my best Sunday suit
white silk stockings, n bran new hair bag,
and applegreen coat, with large pearl but
tous-in word, made myself smart as a
bridegroom.
On reaching the door of the cousins
house, however, my heart began to thump
against my ribs, as though had a smithy
within my breast ''Ii' | could only feel as
sured there will not be party" thought l.,
90 would to heaven it were over" Fortu-
natey, found the cousin alone, making up
an account in his study. " You are some
what late, friend SToLPRrAU," said he. |
laughed in perfect agony, TO look agreeable,
for fear OF meeting a large party engrossed
every thought.
The cousin, having finished, looked round
for some sand. Anxious to be of service, |
rushed forward, seized, as i'll luck would
have it, the inkstand instead Of the sandbox,
and poured whole stream OF the best black
writing fluid over the neatly kept ledger.
thought should have Immediately tainted
from sheer fright, and in my confusion hur-
riedly drew forth my snow white pocket
handkerchief to wipe it up.
With an exclamation of &" What on earth
are you doing there, friend SToLPRIAUW my
entertainer sinilinglv interposed, and, push
lII HE anu iilN iltIh anu NuitE hNitHf@i
gently aside, quickly put things to rights,
and then led the way TO the apartment where
the company were assembled. | followed,
hut with a troubled spirit, and on looking
down was Mortified to observe an ink blot as
large as form on my left white silk stock
ing. "Help me, heaven " ! mentally
groaued; {" what will the company think!'
The room door is opened. !, awkward,
block headed BOBBY that ! was, thinking to
show myself light and graceful, as well as
clever and gallant, sprang forward, bowling
right and left, backward and forward, scra-
ping first with one foot, then with the other,
in all directions, and, not perceylng te-
male domestic Just before me who was IN
the act of dishing up pie, dashed my head
with such force into her back, as TO send the
pie figing out of the dish on to the floor,
and so, with compliments and ducking and
bowling, blindly advanced. felt as though
were in battle, and about TO rush on the
enemy's guns.
What civil things were said on the part Of
the company, know not; as yet had not
the courage to look up, but continued, like
one possessed, bowling and scraping, and.
calculating " your humble servant" in all
directions, until cut short by fresh mishap.
had in fact reached the pie which still
tdY tneFe, LOT the stFFdut bdu HOt sulilCitutlg
recovered from her fright and loss Of breath,
and stood staring at the masterpiece of
cooking dashed to pieces on the floor, with
out an effort to remove il.
All at once, while engaged in making a
fresh inclination, my unfortunate left foot
wandered into the pasty. ! saw nothing,
for all had become dark before ms ewes.
DisgrscefuIly, but naturally enough. my foot
slid from under me; and in instant, personal
and political balance were lost, and down
came, measuring my whole length, Just FIVE
foot seven, on the floor, TO The no small alarm
of some, the irrepressible laughter Of 9th
ers, of the large aud worshipfnl company
,bara uszarnhied