The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1848-11-13
THE PATENT RAG. CHEwER.

| In a village not many hundred miles from
this place, there is established paper mill,
which attracts no small share of attention from
the curious, and elicits many visit, asall are
of course anxious to see the process of convert
ing old rags into paper. 1t sometimes hap
pens that those crowds of admirers of the mar
vellous, contain among their number some OF
these real matter of fact kind of fellows who
like to know something of causes as well as
effects, which may be illustrated by the fol-
lowing dialogue:
Il say, stranger, how do you get them rags
fine enough for making paper?
I'VE have men employed TO chew them, sir,
replied the paper man.
To what! TO chaw them did you sayT
Yes, to chew them to be sure--did you new
er hear of chewing rags to make paper?'
No. | never did, and would like to know
what kind Of wages you give, Gaze got lit tie
the best set of teeth you ever did see, SAID be
green un grinning: gnashing at the same time
in the way of exhibition, Wi tn fury that made
the testing proprietor quake lest the joke
should turn upon himself in the form Of per-
sonal combat.
Il see, see.' replied he of the paper mill,
stepping back; never saw better set OF
teeth for business. Well we give expe rienced
hands 81 so per day, and young beginners we
give 81 0O--do you think you will like the bus
mess, sirP
Yes STREE, and the wages too!' replied the
other, with delight.
Very well, sir, you may set in for month,
and at the expiration of that time we no doubt
will raise your wages. Here you may com
,,anca ,biS,-hapdtnu m old saddle blank IN
his much delighted applicant, who took it and
sat down TO his task, with as much sang froid
as an epicure would 10 well roasted beef
stake.
Il say, old pard, do you think that ar blank
Ell will stand me any of my time at all. Why
| could chew il all smash up and swallow il
before YOU could tell what time the sun sets
by Elton's Almanac
! He set to work like juvenile steam engine
his heavy teeth grinding as if they were mill
stones, the dust flying but. desperately intent
on earning good living wages, though the la
Dor was decidedly bad living. With the vo
racity ola Bengal tiger and spirit worthy of q
better cause, the martyr 10 the progress o.
science, continued al his task, wondering be
lyond expression i'm his own mind, how many
hands, or rather how many sets of teeth Il
took TO do the chewing Of that tarnation big
mill. But il was i'm vain that the heavy jaws
wagged, and the shaped teeth crushed-the
pile of chewed rags did not seem TO grow very
fast and to add To the machines of rising feel
, ings Of Indignation, crowd began TO gathe
round to witness the singular spectacle of q
human opposition to the rag breakers, shaking
the whole building from another depart
J ment.
, what in danation are you gapin' at?' a
last exclaimed the rag chewer through mouth
full of rags In a state of mastication. 'Drat "
thar, is fillyrag spilin machines like me up Stair
all in bunch why don't you go up and Sc,
them?'
The crowd looked very much delighted ant
!, expressed themselves highly pleased with hi
performance.
Il know l can't go it like them fellers uI
stairs, for my grinders amt used to it yet, be
sides don't believe horse blankets are good t
, start on, but tell you strangers when il come.
TO vittals or tobacker I'm thar
The fun began to rise and with ii the ras
chewer's indignation. See here stranger h,
beloved, splitting on, his last attempt, anC
hallowing at his employer, who had just ap
peared; blamed TO blame nation if I'm goin.
to sit here and be laughed at this ere way--e
you don't put me up stairs among the rest o
EN- won't chew up another blanket darned e
dor
what exclaimed the employer, with so
Der face, and very Indignantly, lis that all yol
have got chewed up? And wet too BY thunder
Get out of this-you'll never do for this bust
4 ness in the world. There blanket ruined I,
all eternity, too, for you've wet every mouth
full. and how can you make dry paper out o
wet rags? Come move yourself in hurry
q The victim did not wait second invitation
but went off in all speed for fear he should b
: called upon 10 pay for the blanket, and full
q determined hereafter to stick TO his lawful bu
' siness, aud let paper mills alone.