Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1848-09-19
Evening Lecture Of Hstty Jones.
CONCERNING NEWSPAPERS.

y -
here you've como again as drunk as
billed owl, and you DON'T know yourself
from four dollars and half. The chill
p dren are crying for bread--their cloths
worn out, and here | slave-slaye-slave
the whole blessed day, till have not
rag to my back, and what thereis, sticks
as tight to me as the skin does to the
Model Artists, old Mrs. Smith tells about.
We must retrench Retrench, indeed
I'd like 10 see what you'd retrench about
this house, except vittles and clothes,and
insure we've none to spare in them re.
spects. You wouldn't want your own
flesh and blood to go naked and hungry
would YOU? You're too much Of a man if
you be an old brute, Jones, for that. If
you'd keep to your work, and mind your
own business, be steady, and stop your
drinking all day and spreeing all night,
times would be heap better fol us-you
aint the man, Jones, you was when |
gave you my virgin affections YOU don't
come into the house modestly and lift off
your hat, and say good evening, Miss
Hetty, and draw your chair close up to
mine and take hold of my hand and kind
a blush, and then hitch up little closer
and
Don't make a fool of yourself II amt
a goin' to, Jones, but 1t sort does my
old heart good to cali up those remississ.
nesses, and wish it had always been so.
But you're as tender hearted as a turtle.
dove--just as sensible when you have
any sense, as any body sit down, Jones
and eat your supper, and tell the news
fyiDg-
You'eU stopped the paper! You lie,
Jones you know you lie--you'd stopped
your wind first-you'd stopped the chill
dren's bread-you'd a.
You couldn't afford it, Amt you got
conscience Jones TO let on so! The pa.
per costs you four cents q week. and the
printers takes all kind of truck for pay
and here it's Saturday night and I'd like
to know how much money you have
thrown away this week-I'll count il up
I'll give you blessing before l get
through, 1t amt often | ketch you at
home, and when do you'll take il. for
better or for worse as the saying IS
There is gallon and half of whiskey
on Monday morning costs 81 l.2 cents
there's half a gallon of beer on Tuesday,
cost eighteen pence--there's a shilling to
treat an old fummix with, that come a.
long and said he knowed you when you
was boy-Gnd Lord only knows how
much you've spent to day-it must have
took heap of change, for you amt and
old sPunge Jones--you don't get drunk
on any body's money but your own--and
reckonit must took at least a quar-.
ter to make man drunk enough to stop
his paper-well, now I'll &c and c cunt 1t
all up-three shillings and eighteen pence
and one shiling-and a quarter makes
just fifty cents, in my opinion as that
very sum thrown into the fire, and better
too, and that would paid for the Goshen
Democrat for three months-and | ex.
Pect the printer needs the money as bad
as most folks.
There's a power OF economy in such
doings, why what would body know il
it wasn't for the paper-and now too,
when there's great election coming and
body wantS to know how to vote.
Wimmin don't cote! Well, l know il,
and it's great pity they don't, they'd
revolutionize the world, and have a pro.
visionary government every whore as
they call it, and the'y-they-wouldn't
kill off all the men, not quite, cause thew
are useful In their places, mind tel! you
Jones. But as | was saying about the
printer, we must have news-and visev
versey, we must have printers, and ifthey
can live without nothing to eat,-then
they are the critters that's in the advance
ofthe age, for the people of this genera.
ton make god of their bellies. accord
ing to the best of their knowledge and
belief-another thing, l should not won.
der if you'd stopped the paper and never
paid for it--and then you'll get published
on the black list, and poor wife's reputa.
ton be ruined-and your children 90 to
the plenipotentiry-itlwon't do Jones, it
wontdo-and here she broke ofTfor Jones
was asleep!--Goshen Democrat,
NIAGARA OUrDoNE.-Among the cliff,
ofthe Eastern Chats, about midw be.
tween Bombay and Cape Comorin, rises
the river Shirawati, which falls into the
Arabian Sea. The bed Of the river ia
one fourth of a mile in direct breadth {;
but the edge of the falls is elIiptical. with
sweep Of half mile. This body of
water rushes, at first, for three hundred
feet, over slope at an angle of forty. five
degrees, in sheet Of white foam: and is
then Precipitated to the depth of eight
hundred and fifty more, into ablack abyss,
with laundering noise. 1t has, there.
fore, depth of eleven hundred and fiftv
feet! In the rainy season the river ap.
pears to be about thirty feet in depth at
the tall; in the dry season it is lower, and
Is divided into three cascades of varied
beauty and astonishing grandeur. Join
our Fall of the Ganeseo 70 ,ho. .c ~