The examiner. [volume] (Louisville, Ky.) 1847-1849, 1848-09-30

ture; and if he hints anything about the
creature costing him rather dear for "treas-
ure," he is asked if he calls himself a
man? If poor Julia has the headache, the
husband is blamed for it. at is all his
doing-he knows il is. Didn't he speak
harshly to her at breakfast" IL the dinner
is badly cooked, he must not say word.
for the tears Immediately flow, and the mo-
Their quickly upbraids him Gas a wretch who
ought to be ashamed Of himself for speak
ing in that way TO q suffering woman" If
he refuses to go on the continent, "his tho
tive is very clear; but let the crime be upon
his own head She would not have his
feelings afterwards for thousand pounds"
If he grumbles about any extravagant out.
lay, she is not going to allow her daughter
to starve for the consideration of penny.
She tells him he as killing her; and if the
new curtains are not instantly put up in the
drawing room, she will not answer for the
consequences! She should like very much
to know what he calls himself!
The MODEL MoTHER-IN.LAw in her kind
est mood is fearful, but she is most deSpotic
when there has been settlement made up
Oh her daughter. The domestic tyrant then
rules with the iron rolling-pin Of female
Nero. All the little attempts Of the poor
husband to maintain his rights are loudly
mathematical as "base Vaccinations to Sc
cure her poor daughters property. He
wishes to drive Julia mad, but she sees thro'
his mean devicesl' Letters. too, are rifled
for secrets-pockets are ransacked for bill
lst-douI, old servants dismissed, new ones
hired, the dinner hour altered, the luncheon
kept on the table all day, and the children
brought home from school, Just as Mrs.
Spitfre pleases. The house is quite a fam
lily hastiIa- No nna dares move ont or
come in without her permission. The
latch.key is surrendered, and the husband
is quite under the Mother-in.Law's surUeil-
lance, and is only let out upon parole
Woe to him if he returns home a minute
late He is asked through the key-hole,
''if he is not ashamed Of himselfi" and be,
fore he has wiped his feet on the door-mat,
he is told, loud enough for all the servants
to hear it, that Julia is determined not to
endure his abominable Profigacy any Ion
ger-the poor thing is sinking into pre-
mature grave, and she is resolved upon hev-
ing a separate establishment" The next
morning the Mother-in-Law and her daugh.
ter leave with a hundred band-boxes, and
the husband is left alone, without as much
as the key of the tea-caddy TO console him.
self with. But he is not allowed to enjoy
his solitude long. A St. Swithin Of letters
from the mother, in the name Of her injured
daughter, keeps pouring in upon him, re-
preaching him with everything short of ar
son. He is visited at length by his dread
enemy, even in person, and after an by
draulic scene, made more terrible by the
threat that "she will never leave him till
she has brought him TO a sense of the inju-
ries he has inflicted upon that sainted crea-
ture," he is obliged to capitulale: he falls
upon mis- knees before his wife, and begs to
be forgiven. The Mother-in-Law stands
by, like a stern Nemesis of the sex, and
will not allow the poor culprit to rise be-
fore he has confessed over and over again
how deeply he was in the wrong, and
''what an infamous wretch he must have
been ever TO doubt such angelic goodness
The husbands children belong, properly
speaking, to the MODEL MoTHER-IN-LAw.
She superintends their education, dresses
them, whips them, physics them, and does
whatever she pleases with them. She begs
she'll not interfere in matters he cannot
possibly understand II is at the advent
Of new baby, however, that her tyrannic
power is the most absolute; the whole house
hold then, from kitchen to garnet, is under
her thumb, and, the centre Of large circle
of Godfreys, Camps, Prigs and Dalbys,
she administers elixirs and commands al
ternately, which no one dares disobey. The
doctor even succumos to her; and as for the
poor husband, he sinks to the smallest point
Of virile insignifcance. He rings the bell,
no one answers it; he wanders about mis-
cradle Peter Schlemil in his own house, a
husband who has lost even the shadow Of
authority. He asks for his dinner-not a
soul knows anything about it. A bed is
fitted up for him somewhere in lumber
room, at the top Of the house. He asks to
see his wife, but is met by the Mother-in-
law at the door, and questioned, if "the
man really wishes to kill his innocent babe
and wifef" He is "the man"
The NOBEL MoTHER-IE-LAw is essential
ly a "strong minded woman" She is al
ways telling people ga bit Of her mind. "
The husband gets bit every day. All
his relations. too, who dare ''to put their
noses into what does not concern then"
are favored with Ga bit"-a good large bit,
also. Her "Inind," like the bell Of st.
Sepulchre, is never told, unless it is the
prelude to some dreadful execution. She
dearly loves quiet family.
The MODEL MNTHERIN-LAw makes a
principle Of residing with her victims
When once in a house, she is as difficult to
get out as the dry-rot, and If allowed her
own way, soon undermines everything, and
brings the house Gin no time" about every
body's ears. She goes out of town with
them every year. She should never forgive
herself if anything happened when she was