Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1848-04-08


ken for . horse block
Many persons have qualified themselves
Tor the circus by jumping and running
races with grasshoppers-
aWhat Is the fine arts, husband Z
Making Jokes for the Industrious
Fleas, suppose. / do not know. of. any
finer art than that bat screNing on pins
heads comes next to itn 9
! We hearra great deal about plank roads
Just at this time. We suppose that these
plank roads can be easily made when some
bodyIcan befound to plank dozen the cash.
A lively country girl had q bashfal low
en- whose mama was Locke. She got out
efpatienee with him at last, and in her
.anger declared that Shakespeare had not
lsaid half as many bad things as he ought
10 about Shy Locke.
aBil,n said Bob, awhy is that tree
iealled q Eeeping willow7'h
aCause one Of the sneaking drafted
things grew near our scheol-house, and
supplied the master with the sticks that
did all the boys licking"
The easiest way to get living is to
sit on gate and wait for good luck In
case good luck don't como along, you are
no worse off than you were before.
There Is said to be girl in Boston,
whose heart is so warm that it burnt thro'
her bosom.
There Is plenty ofroom inside as the
pauper said TO the penny loaf
An old Bachelor having been laughed
at BY q party of pretty girls, told them
y you are small potatoes Pr 1--WE may
be small potatoes cried one of them
!" but we are siceet ones !"
Why docs an aching tooth impose ST.
lence ON the sufferer2 Because itmakes
him hold his jdic.
A celebrated wit was asked why he
did not marry q young lady to whom
he was much attached. 81 know not, =
he replied, 9 except the great regard we
have for each other
A monster hustle, belonging to . lady
near Blackpool, was picked up during the
past week, and on examination, was found
10 be composed Of fourteen separate folds
Of double knitted work
In al Irish jury, one man stood out,
beat the eleven, and Unqualified the priso-
ner. On being asked the reason Of his
obstinate conviction Of the prisoners inno-
ecnce, he replied that he didn't believe
him innocent, but that he couldn't afford
10 find him guilty, as he would have been
hung, and he was the last life in his lease.
A lady reading that man had been
sentenced to ak months hard. labor for
dog stealing, observed to . friend with a
shudder, Gracious, my love, what would
certain Of our sex have to endure for en-
trapping psPpics."
An American eountryman, fresh from
the magnificent woods and roughalearings,
was one day visiting the owner of beau
tiful seat IN Brooklyn, and walking with
kim through . little grove, out ofswhich
al tho under brush had been cleared, paths
had been nicely cut and gravelled, and
tho rocks covered with woodbine, suddenly
stopped, and admiring the beauty Of the
scene, lifted up his hands and exclaimed,
This / like; this is Nature with her
hair combed."
a dentist who having labored in vain to
extract decsyed tooth from lady's
mouth ave up the task, whit this felicitous
apologysThe fact Is, madam, it Is inn
possible for anything bad tocomefrom your
mouth
Apx1RArlos AxD LovE.-There IS a
wide difference between admiration and
love. The sublime, which Is the cause Of
the former, always dwslls on great objects,
and terrible: The latter onsmAll ones, and
tlsssinR. We submit 10 what We admire,
but ueloVe Nhat submits to rs: in one case
Ne are forced, h the ether We are battered
into compliance.
AZ many q are tho difEc1lties which
virtue has e encounter N this world, her
f6tce = ut superior
I'VE mover &c I is.r Ii tkseye, says !
celebrated writer. bpt We are reminded Of
-. 49, f-|5|@s $500 |EI, 49, F|.ffr