Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser., 1848-08-24

From the st. Louis Reveille.
MRS. SCRUGGINS TALKS ABOUT MR..
SKINKLE.
81 hates bach'lors," said Mrs. Scruggins,
the other day, in quite an energetic manner,
"l don't mean them as is young, but them
as is old in sin, and can't be reformed, and
coaxed to marry. What an orful state is
single blessedness Blessedness, indeed
I'd rather be dog in the moon, as Sbak-
spur says, than marry an old bach'lor.
was tellin' Mr.. Skinkle the other day-.M.
Sk:nkle isn't old bach'or, he's only thirty
seven-l was lellin'.;M Mr.. Skinkle, that all the
old bachelors should be imported to Africa,
where the sun would warm 'em up little;
make 'em frisky like, and then they'd pre-
pose. He looked at me over the top of his
dear green specs, and said as how, bachelors
would be bachelors until after they was
married. In course agreed with him, and
then he told me the reason cause he didn't
commit himself into mattermony. Twas
very afficlin' story; and he told i. in sich
a sorrowful kind of way, it made me feel
for him very much. He said, he was mis-
fortunate man, and had had a grevns time
Off iRhis life. He couldn't complain about
perfumery matters he was we'll enough to
do IN the world, but then he had been des-
pera!e unlucky, pir.icarIy with the femi-
mines. He never could git along with 'em,
he said cause he fell in love with 'em all.
He couldn't help it; it was material, he be-
lieved,'and was family Ealin' told him
he needn't be 'shamed of it, and then he
smiled excessive softly, and said as how he
wasn't. When he was eighteen he was in
love with a little angel of fifteen, or there
abouts, who lived next door to his house in
Cincinnater. The families had one hydren
atween 'en, and he used to meet her there
drawin' water. Somebody had bored
hole in the lead spout of the hydren, and
she'd set the water goin,' and drink out Of
it. MIR. Skinkle said as how he aIavs
drunk arter her, and it was wonderful how
often they was dry. Ar,er he'd got well
know'd to her, he used to go into her house
to see her, and the end of it was, he got in
love; and she said she loved him, too, bet
ter than emmy thing. 'And, Mrs Scruggins,'
said Mr.. SkinkIe, 'what do you think was the
end of it? Eleven months and two weeks
afler got 'quainted with this little angel,
would you b'lieve it ?-the deceilful mink
went and married an old bach'lor, Jest cause
he was worth plumb. 1t was dreadful
blow, but got over it howsumever.' Well,'
when he got older Mr.. Skinkle got wiser,
so he SAID, and went looking for steady
feminine for a wife. There was plenty of
'em. but they was all too anxious to git mar
ried, and he was afraid he'd be TUX in, so
he kept on a waitin' and waitin' till he
was twenty-six, and then he fell in love
with a servant gal. He didn't tell me emmy
thing about that affair, howsumever, 'cept
that he didn't marry her. A wear arter
that time he was TUX by dashin' widder,
who had cum out to the west. He was Jest
on the pint Of preposin' to her, when he
heerd that she had small family of nine
children in New Y ork, and as that was Jest
nine more slep-chidren than he wanted, he
said as how he 'craw6shed," which means,
backed out.
Time flew away from him, and at thirty
Mr.. Sklnkle was not married. He began
10 think about it serious, then, he said, and
Sc. up strong to young feminine who had
just left boardin' school,. He gaIivanted her
round to all the balls, and concerts, aud
pick-nicks, and fshin' parties, and paid all
kinds of 'tentions TO her. Arter gillin' the
Of her father and mother, and takin'
all the trouble he did-don't you think she
wouldn't have him cause he was so short
she wanted heroic statue-six feet high
at the very least Then he got mad, aud
went to setlin' up to two feminiues at wunst
he had two strings to his bow, he said.
This was worse than all, for they found it
out; and when he asked one of 'em, she
said, no wonder his eyes was crossed, look
in two ways for wife; and the other he
asked last said, she wasn't emmy body's Sc
cond pick. This flustered him little, and
he didn't 60 courtin' emmy more for long
while afterwards. He was desperate 'fraid
of wimin with high temperature, and allays
preferred them as was mild aud unconsum-
ing. He got quainled with one Of This 'ere
kind, as he thought, and was very much
taken with her ways. She was so gentle,
and never got vexed at all, 10 all 'pearances.
He was jokin' with her, one day, and mis-
he axed her if curls was nate
raj, and if them four front teeth of her
wasn't false? She few in orful passhun,
and invited him to get out of her sight, and
never show his face again. Ever since that
Law, Mr. Skinkle has horror of mild faced
eminines; he allays prefers ,ha. shows
some spirit.-.My coun.enance, he said, was
,ne of them kind as does-'
With this remark, Mrs Scruggins leaned
Jack in her rocking chair, and glanced COM
'lacen,ly at the mirror.
AN ANIMAL UPsTART.--A negro boy was
irving mule in Jamaica. when The animal