Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1848-10-10


I followed, but with troubled spirit. hn9
on looking down was Mortified to observe
an ink-blot as large as a form on my lef
white silk stocking. "Help me, heavenI'
mentally groaned, "@hat will the com.
pany think 81 ,s-@ ~ -
The room door is opened. /, awkward
block-headed BOBBY that I was, thinking
to show myself light and graceful, as wei
as clever and gallant, sprang forward
bowling right and left, backward and for.
ward, scraping first with one foot, then
with the other, in all directions, and moi
perceiSing female domestic just before
me, who was In the act of dishfhg I'D a
pie, dashed my head With such force into
her back, as to send the pie flying odt oil
the dish on to the floor, and so with com.
PlIments and ducking and bowling, blind
ly advance. / felt as though were in
battle, and about to rush on the enemy's
guns. -ae e. ODD -
What civil things were said on the part
OF the company | know not; as yet had
not the courage to look up, but continued,
like one possessed, bowling and scraping,
and calculating ''your hum bic servants %
in all directions. until cut short by fresh
mishap. ......-....
had in fact reached the pie, which
still lay there, for the servant had not suf
ticiently recovered from her fright and loss
of breath, and stood staring at the master
piece of cooking dashed to pieces on the
toor, without ain effort to remove it.
All at once. while engaged in making
fresh inclination, my unfortunate LEFT
foot wandered into the TASTY. 1 saw
nothing, for all had become dark before
my eyes. DisgracetulIy, but naturally
enough, my foot slid from under me in
an instant, personal and political balance
were lost, and down l came, measuring
my whole length, just five foot seven on
the floor, to the no small alarm of some.
the irrepressible laughter of others of the
large and worshipful company there as
sembled. .... :. e..
In falling, brought down two chairs,
which had seized hold of in order to save
myself together with young and pretty
female, who, in all probability, was at
that moment about TO seat herself but
now, with speed equal to that of her
chair, came rolling on the floor beside
ME. Gracious heaven! it was my Bar
bara. .--.. .r
A terrible clamor arose, and as lay
there l roared Justify too, for seeing in
addition to myself and the two chairs
lady stretched out on the floor, / felt per.
suaded that a shock of earthquake must
have taken place. To my great relief
soon discovered that no earthquake had
caused this melancholy fall, but as already
narrated, only veal pasty. .a.'
We got up. The cousin treated the
whole affair as an excellent joke. 1t was
very well for him to Joke, but could have
wept, nay die with shame and vexation. l
went to the mantel-piece without offer
ing one word of apology, but os all were
laughing and giggling around, l laughed
too, and threw from time to time stolen
gIances at the cause of my misfortune.
AT last we took our places at the table.
The cousin was so gallant as to place me
next to Barbara. had rather have been
situated near volcano than at the side
of this amiable and pretty creature.
felt most extraordinary sensations while
thus in jnxtapositIon with my future bride.
Of the assembled guests ventured only
to take rapid glance at intervals. s,
Soup was SERVED round. Barbara Of
fered me some-but how could accept
it? She herself was yet unprovided-
Compliments were exchanged, and | all
ready foresaw that some new evil would
arise out ofthese abominable civilities.--
Hence becatte more and more pressing,
and looking imploringly into the face of
my charmer, forgot the plate altogether.
The consequence. was that | poured the
burning soup into Barbara's lap and over
her clothes, and in endeavoting hastily to
withdraw it, sent the remainder into my
own lap, deluging alike my garments and
my finger napkin. 1t was fraternal di.
vision. shall never forget it.. / re-
member all as though it had occurred but
yesterday. twas crab soup. 20 20
The charming Barbara left the table.
| stammered out sundry apologies. The
guests endeavored to console me, and
fresh plate was handed to me. Mean.
while my pantaloons were steaming from
the inundation. Barbara was obliged to
change Der dress. She returned, and i
endeavored again; and again to excuse
myself as well as / could, 80. ....-
On perceiying that she smiled gracious
~, felt somewhat re- assured, and began
to brush the cold perspiration from my
face, ofcoufse not with my hand, but with
my pocket kerchief. sagsl sssa3asa
Alas, amidst the accumulated disasters
that had since occurred, had entirely
forgotten the ink business. Id drying off
the 9erspiration, I ribbed in the ink SO
thoroughly, that on replacing the hand
kerchief in my pocket, the whole compa-
ny were amazed to find me converted into
/ a perfect blackafno6f. si'iiecl1 - f9s