Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1848-12-26
From The tgiry Item.
How jerks got a Wife.

/ uUH JtHkS gOL Wlte.
Our friend, jerks, was a timid fellow
He had lived twenty .eight years withou
having offered himself in marriage. No
that be was averse to connubiai felicity
Tar from it-he believed that lie should
never be happy until he gave up baeher
Iorship, and fairly settled down. jerks
was good-looking, with something of the
ar becoming TO man of family, and fell
mat he ought to get married. Twenty
eight, said he TO himself, and no nearer
marriage than at twenIS-no, not SO near.
Eight years as good as lost, he continue d
with sigh. What a nice family might
have had around me- boys and girls-a
comfortable home-penry of buttons on
my shirts and no holes in my stockings
F" hat fool | have been to be sur1l' He
thrust his hands into his pocket and look.
ed the picture Of despair. In moment
his face frightened sorrow is evanss-
cent-hope chased away the clouds from
his brow. III is not too late, he said with
an energy that made him srart,,-shere
Is still time, and | will be WISE
That night. jerks took pains to tie his
crarat-he arranged his hair nicely, and
taking last, long, lingering look at him.
st 1t. he sailed forth. He wended his
way thoughtfully to the residence Of the
happy father of three blooming daughters.
The evening glided away pleasantly. and
at eleven o'clock he rose to depart. You
will call again, Mr.. jerks said Amelia,
a charming woman Of twenty Ave. 1T
will give me great deal of pleasure re-
Piled the gratified fellow, and he showed
his sincerity by dropping in the next
evening. Father and mother exchanged
Chances as he too his seat. Another
evening passed away delightfully."-. After
the departure of jerks, the mother of the
amiable Amelia carelessly inquired what
he did for living. The father believed
he was commission merchant. oh he's
not lawer then?' No. Nor a doctor?'
i said commission merchant, my DEAR
reJoined the husband and father mildly.
but firmly well that's better that moth
ing. said the good woman, and I've heard
there is not much risk in that business.
jerks called again, and again, and at
the end OF three months he was still
visitor, AID the favorile Of the whole
family He ate cake made by Am.
eiia-listened with delight TO o thou
sand little hints Of Der Industry and ap,
ness-untiI. completely carried away. he
resolved to offer himself But how was
ii to he d'ne-couid he, timid, iuexper-
fenced man. accomplish 80 munentous a
matter. How shall begin?' be inquired
OF himself, but he got back no satisfacto
~ reply. My father did it, ehough.'
continued he, and can't do what my
father did
OFF he darted, and in a few minutes
he was in The presence ofh.s loved Amel |
ia.
You look thoughtful, Mr.. jerks said |
she. sd. (
'Ah! if only knew replied he.
Has anything happened!' asked the
mother.
Ooh no, not-that is to say, nothing in
the shape of an accident
What is it, then?' kindly inquired
Amelia
Don't ask me- said jerks ia sepul-
chral voice, Il wish to see your father in
private
The old gentleman was overjoyed to
see jerks, and shook him warmly by the
hand.
Can we have few words?' whispered
jerks.
Certainly. SIR whispered the father
leading the way to the library. The
door had hardly closed before Mr.. jerks
began.
You see, sir he said; Il have been
visiting your house about three months.
We'll, sir"
And you understand
Understand what!'
why, cunfound it. don't you see
'Who--where?' replied the father. as
if not caring, or determined not to under
stand.
why. the fac. lie, you appear to be u !
very happy man. :
oh, yes
well. have made up my mind
that is to say tho ught would make
up my mind,-you know how it is with us
Go on, sir, go on, continued the faith.
err. eF
Plague take IT, nervously exclaimed
jerks, you've got the-l mean daught.
err
Three of them. Mr.. Jenks-ihree of
them strand fine girls they are, too
We'll, want to ask you. If you would
have any objection TO my taking one OF
them to the opera--and-and-marrying
her1
'Wby, what in the name of sense has
the operate do with iii'
oh, no, only
GClnlv what1'