Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1848-04-26
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II. Shert Patent Sermen, II,
ON MODERN GENTLEMEN.
ii By DOW, sR

- DO"s orss
q Tkxr.-Whon do we dub as gsntiemea7
,laase the fool, The ats.,-.z-.s
8 tthey But oun full 1.-THE sf gold
g ,.l5 - And vear 4 costly suit s 81 Il 4
= NY hearers: When we come to sort out
'thesvasti,edp belonging to the he creation.
We find that three separate and distinct
piles are necessary to be mnde--yiz: ono
for the common rubbish, or loafers; ano;h-
er for the spurious gentlemen manufactur-
ed by tailors; and another for the real 81.
man pure gentlemen, wrought from heay-
EMS best material by the all skilllal hand
Of omnipotence. The last heap is great
deal smaller than the other two, but when
placed in the scales ofgreals weight they
will weigh down Eve hundred just like
them, and it is upon this principle alone
that pound of lead is heavier than pound
Of feathers. The drunken, good for.no-.
thing loalers, are no gentlemen at oil, any
how you can tx it; and those who are tin
kered up of broad cloth, buckram,' finger
rings safety chains, soft solder, vanity and
impudence, are no gentlemen either, no
] more than n plated spoon is solid silver
Throughout. They arc only called. so by
the foolish yotaries Of E,shion-intended
as a cheat and dend suck-in for the
worlds great market. Why, my friends,
they are mere walking sticks for female
flirls, ornamented with the varnish Of eti-
quelte. Brass heads did say nav-their
caputs are only half ripe musk, melons,
with monstrous thick rines, hollow within,
containing the seeds of toolishness swim.
ming about in vast quantity OF sap ---
Their. moral garments are double.
breasted coat Of vanity, padded with pride,
and lined with the silk OF urbaai.y; their
other apparel is all in keeping, and inn
ported fresh from Devil Beelzebub & Co.'S
Wholesale and retail reody made cloth ne
establishment. Beneath the trappngs o
I lsuperciliousness and folly may be 7it,unt
4 hearts rottipgsin the scum OF lieeniious
? mess, and as much blacker than the sinne
fskin ofa steamboat pipe, as chimney
sweep is blacker than the midday sun il
1.-THE heavens. And yet these .orer-blowr
4 bladders Of iniquitous show are called gen
tlemen! If thought numbered any O
these goats in my flock, would preach
them out of the synagogue quicker than
lightning ever chased squirrel down a
!. hickory tree. But let them travel of.with
their high-heeled boots of self-consequence;
let them carry their bundle Of dry goods
down the Broadway of perdition; let them
flourish for time, like poisonous, weeds
upon dunghill; let them spit upon a poor
beggar, and kick his dog, as he sits perish
ing at the golden gate of opuIence; lie,
them go so uil.defying stiff that they can'l
bend, like n young sap!ing, to the gale
and they will find that, should the storm ol
penury beat upon their beavers, they will
snap as short as pipe stems, and the starch
will evaporate from their dickeys of pride
1 in the short space Of no time at all. These
storms will most assuredly wash out the
gravel from the foundations upon which
their humbug qualifications Of gentlemen
rest, and down they viii fall, to be reared
up again only by the hands Of propitious
fortune. Yes, my friends, say let them
go about thrusting their spurious certificates
of honor in the face Of plain-clad honesty
but when they are laid low in the dust Of
servile dependence, then, | guess, they
will find out, for a certainty, they are the
vefiest vernnina that ever abeslimed the
paths Of decent society," J. i.tas.s 5s1 IL
My friends-I shan't meddle with wo.
men in my present discourse, because,
they are never intended to be gentlemen
Suffice it to say. that every female. is a Ia
| dv in the parlor, and q pot-sluer in the
kitchen, according to the opinion of man
! kind generally. But / will tell you wha,
real gentleman is. He is an humble,
charitable, fphilun,hropic, honest, ssuprigh,
man-which you all know is the noblest
work Of God. He wears the ermine word
of truth, and his jewsled star of his own
good names. he weeps over the new-made
graves oftheir husbands: he feels for them
! (in his poekets) when they are compelled
to gnaw the dry crusts Of Adversely: he
pitches pennies into the laps of 'barefooted
orphans, and pays the same respect to- a.
dog with muzzle on his nose that he does
to one with gold ring on his neck. He
puts no molasses on his nose TO attract the
gilded flies Of fashion, nor wounds innocent
breasts with the barbed arrows Of slander.
He venerates the grey hairs Of age, and
leads little children along the aowry paths
of virtue. He is grave with the grave,
and gay with the gay, bnt never burns his
nose in the fiery cup of dissipation or folly
nor muds his trowsers with the filth of
lewdness. .--......... ,a- .f
! Like myself, he dresses plain, neat, and
simple; and takes mere care to adorn his
immortal mind viii the laurels of learning,
than to rig up foolishly that clay built tab
ernacle, the body, which to-day is, and to-
morrow is mingled with the common rub
bish of earth. Such, my friends, is the
character Of genuine gentleman; and !
-have no doubt, that, when dame nature
first completed one ofthe kind, she aeame
.near. bursting her corsets with pride; as she
nao '9', every reason 70 ps p.nuu ~ ~ navng