Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1848-04-07

Be silent, madam, if you please not TO talk
but to listen, is one Of the most important of
Them
Proceed, sir.
And Mr. Swollow looked daggers at her for
the second interruption and proceeded
From six to eight you are TO get up, dress
quietly, so as 10 create no disturbance, light fire.
| air clothing and stockings, swecprooms, prepare
breakfast and announce the perfection thereof
/ Eight till ten wash tea things, make BEDS rub
| furniture and clean windows. Ten till twelve
go to market and prepare dinner. Twelve till
two. devote to dish washing, sweeping up, rub
bling furniture. Two till six, spinning and
mendng clothes and darnng stockings. Seven,
tea.
From that time till nine, a second course of
mending and darnng and then to bed And this
daily course madam, with strict observance of
the rules of cvty, irugality, decorum and ODE
dience, may in time enable you to do honor to
the choice of Mr.. Solomon Swallow
Mrs. Swallow listened quietly to the end, and
then mildly inquired,
'And do you really expect this of me Mr..
Swallow 7?
To be sure do responded her spouse.
Then you'll be sadly disappointed, for | shall
do no such thing
Nor
sNo.'
I've way to make you
Iow?'
Spoon diet, locks, Chains, and Il cowhide.'
Mr.. Swallow? ?
What p
You are brute' and Mrs. Swallow threw
herself back and looked desperate.
Now this was climax. Mr. Swallow was
called brute at his own iircsidc, and, worst of
all, by his own wife. He. Solomon Swallow,
fam, e 4
vations, called brute and by no less person than
Mrs. Swallow. At first he was so astonished at
such open manifestations of rebellion to his roy
al will. that he only looked aghast; but when
he came TO himself, he saw that something must
be done at once or the field was lost forever.
You call me brute, Mrs. Swallow 2
"a brutc!
'l'll 60 mad and break things, Mrs. Swallow.
AS you like, sir
And Mr.. Swallow did 20 mad, but he had a
method in his madness, for he seized the cheap.
or article of dclf that was on the table, Gan old
plate with a crack in it,) and dashed it into a
thousand pieces on the hearth, as if he was in a
tremendous passion.
How do you like that, Mrs. Swallow 2?
VASTLY, Mr.. Swalow-trv it again.
'And again he tried it. dor he had become
desperately and demolished the cream iug.
Now, said the lady, It's my turn and Jump
ing up she sent the slop bowl to keep company
with its tea table companions.
This OF Course was too nucii for Solomon il
snapped the last remaining chord of the little
reason he had left and he slapped his help.maie
1--WE use the word in its most positive terms)
on her right cheek but scarcely had the echo
of the blow melted into silence, ere the indignant
dame seized the tea pot and shivered it to atoms
against the head of the devoted Mr.. Swallow :;
nor was this all, for as he was rolling heels over
head from the awful conclusion, she piled him
with the remainder Of the tea traps, until there
was scarcely a bone in his body that had not
echoed to the shock of cups and saucers and
rounds of buttcred toast.
Unable to carry on the war any longer for that
day, Solomon gathered himself up as well as he
could, and vowng vengeance, he stuck his pipe
in his month and his hands in his pockets he
then commenced whlstng jig to the tune the
old COW died on, looking as if he could bite
piece out OF the grlddle without setting his teeth
to an edge. His good lady, too, being determin-
ed to follow the example of her lord aud master
in other matters besides deli breaking, placed
chair back to back with Solomon's and after pro-
viding herself with novel. sat herself down and
began reading away as if there was no such
things as beds to make or stockings to mend in
all Christendom.
iio'o ''c ",iecuoha'c coupe SAT LOT SIN mortal
hours, each bent upon setting the other down
and Eliminating the while upon their respective
pos't,"ns. but It must be confessed that Mrs
swallow mao the ncst oil the bargain Tor indepen-
deh' OF So'omons mangled head parboiled neck
anu , shoulders he saw as plain as mud that the
u'ai ana crockery must be replaced; that the
Ieuuo''s y, ms Voi"mlhous system to practice
must oe attended WIN an outlay of at least
twenty dollars This being the case, i might
as wen oe n"hS lot shecp as lamb, thought
ne, ana WIN t''at he rose from the chair, stole
so''iy out OF the room and turned the key upon
'he Scnle MIS- swallow
Inc turning OF INC key made her aware OF his
intenton when she rushed to the door, but it was
too late,
Open the door this instant, Mr.. Swallow.
Not until have kept you here seven days
upon bread and water returned the victorious
Solomon and he went his wav rejoicing
But alas how fleeing is human greatness
in about half an bour he returned 10 see how
matters were going on, but he had scarcely pu,
his eve 10 the kew hole. when he beoan roarinp
like a bull for Mrs. Swallow had torn every
one Oh ms .he men sh'ris, Vnat on ms pach
l Il