Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1848-02-17
Nlistrlloncolts.
A CUSTOM House OFFICER TAKEN IN.


humorous correspondents has recently been
"skylarking," as he says, on the upper Penob'
scoi, as far as Lincoln and Malanawcock. In
Il letter TO The BiSde from Bangor, he tells the
following amusing story, related TO HIM by one
of the lumbcrmen:-
A pretty fair un is told Of "hahd" by the
name of Tom G-n. Tom was an old snug
gler, and the officer knew it, but he managed it
so adroitly that they we're unable TO detect him.
One day, Tom had particular rich load Of
silks, gloves aud broadcIoihs. The landlord of
the tavern where he usually stopped, tempted
by the richness Of the prize, turned traitor, ami
iniormed;" any person who "inlorns" ofsmug-
gIed goods receives half the proceeds when they
are sold.
The officer came, took the goods, cart, horses
and all. The lrcachcrous landlord flooded Tom
with condolences, and consigned all custom
house officers 10 ''the place not laid down on the
map"
Tom understood it all, said nothing, thought
the more, and swore vengeance.
About month after, Tom was seen driving
couple of rather bony horses, attached 10 Tin
peddle-cart, as if anxious TO get by The Custom
House unsearchcd. The officer gave chase
Tom cracked on. Up came the officer. On
went Tom again.
Toms horses at length "burst up," apparent
ly, and the officer overhauled him.
"We, well, my fine fellow" growled the
official, what have you here that's pretly!-|
Let's see, let's soe."
"Nothing sir" answered Tom very much
Hurried, nolhing but few rags and other no.
TONS
Ali dare say. sir, | dare say, sir, but if you
have no objections should like very much 10
examine them same noIions."
Certainly, sir, if you wish it, said Tom
opening the cart rather unwiIIhgly, but as
sure you upon my honor, there's nothing here
but few rags and notions.'
''Ah! yes, we'll see, well see.' So saying the
delighted official mounted the wheel and thrust
his head into the cart.
There certainly was nothing in the bottom of
the cart but few articles of tin ware, few pa
pers Of lamp-biack, and a small assortment Of
part-coored cotton shrcds.
In one corner, however, there was q very
suspicious looking pile Of what might be rags,
and then again it might be something else
ltmght be nothing but meal, and then again
there might be cat.
Thus reasoning the officer eagerly extended
himself into the box, to get at this pile.
Tom seized the opportunity, tripped up the
heels of the astonsed official, tumbled him into
the cart, locked The Ind and drove on.
Here the officer had ample room for inspec-
tioH, but the articles was presented much too
fast for his liking.
Now his head came in contact with tin ba
ker, now his nose was rasping against crater,
now his nose broke into paper of lamp. black,
and anon he was jumbled up among sausage
suffers, lanterns and tin reAeclors.
The neighbors on the way, kind souls, sus-
pocling that Tom was running goods placed
logs Of wood, ploughs, harrows, and other farm
ing Implements in the road TO impede his pro-
gress.
The unfortunate officer got all the benefit of
ther kindness, for our hopeful Jehu nothing 10th,
'Put her through over every obstacle, and the
blows and bemshes. bumps and conusions, The
poor bedoviled dignatary thus receiv ed in con.
sequence, is terrible to mention.
Perhaps he didn't hoIer. Well he did
Such coughing splitting and sputtering, such
swearing, praying and roaring, such Kicking
pounding and jingIing.
Here was the subreasury perSonifed--"th
Customs in strong box;" nevertheless, our of:
ficial, though hard money man, did not admire
the arrangement.
What with rags, tin and amp-black, the 'cir.
cuIaung medium was much too dense for even
his democratic notions.
First he tried to punch hole through the
end of the cart with his heels, but having thin
shoes, this proved very bad speculation.
Next he sought ''norh west PASSAGE
through the kiver, but an awkward nail tore hi.
coat, and that was all the opening he made By
that move. Like Yorick's Startling, 'he couldn'
get OUT" He was as Mazeppa and with quito
us hard seat.
"Oh, kick away" cried Tom, through the
key hole. exert yourself do. 1t quickens
the circulation and promotes digestion. Kick
away, do, as much as you please. Push along
Keep moving, but ryou make day wages at il
us' write fellow Will yc2"