Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1848-10-20
A Tale OF BashfuIncSS.
By HEINRIC sCHoKKE.

WOriui not usually enumerated VI lle lISt VI
common mslortunes, but which, neverthe-
less, ought to be. | afford living Illus
trati0n of he truth of my assertion.
My father. God rest his soul, sent me
diligently to school; there | gained some
knowledge, although our city schools at
that period were none of the best.
Every one said: Max has talent, but he
is shy and awkward, cannot adapt himself
To the ways Of the world, is unacqualncd
with the usages of society and never knows
what TO do with his hands and feet; other
wise he is good!and Gle, er fellow enough.
Such was the general opinion of me-
Reader, do you perceive my failing! My
worldly education was defective. Dilgent
at school and in the workshop,I was UNI
cleanly aud negligent of my attire; was CT
vii, 0bligng. and honest, but bashiul withaI,
so that | ran off when unknown persons APP
preached; my eyes never knew where 10
look for resting place when addressed by
stranger. aud il called upon 30 meet la.
dy with civiity and politeness, became
rooted to the spot. Spcechcss and still as
ramrod.
Enongh-politenes and ease of manner,
as they are called, are concerns no less per-
taiuing to life aud IIfe's comfort, than bread
and potatoes or a glass of vine.
Many young gentlemen, as have often
observed, are greatly wanting in these re-
specls. Many one on going into society
is sadly at a loss how to dispose Of his eX-
trenches, and would. one can easily per-
relvc, have much rather left them at ONE.
Manysuch an unfortunate knows not where
To quarter his hands lhrusimg them at one
moment into his walttcoat, at another into
into his breeches pockels, then in despair
raising one or other To his occIput, there 10
scratch by way of variety.
Among other Ill luck cntallcdby my awk-
wardness, may he rcckUned that at being
still bachelor, Of having reached my fifty
second year withou! being blessed with
wife.
No sooner was myold aunt d cad, and
her sotc heir thereby rrndcre CON arallvc-
" allluenl, than I,then in my thlrreth year,
was led To seek the hand of a young lady,
who To other qualifications added beauty,
virtue, anna 1Ility, and wealth besides.
was we'll pleased with the pretty Bar
bara; matters were quickly arranged, and
nothing rem ,ncd but To cultivate her ac-
qualntanre. was accordingly invited I"
meet her at the house of her cousin, and al
invitation To dine was forwarded To me.
Oflargc parties had perfect horror,my
aforesaid drirrlvc education making me
shy and tmid but, then, what will not
man do to secure the favor Of pretty Bar
bara! SO lput ON my best Sunday suit,
white silk stockings, Il bran new hAirbag,
ttl I.,rt I'll Ia IL
tons--ln a word, ma lie myself smart AZ a
bridegroom.
On reaching the door Of the cousins
house, however, my heart began 10 lump
againstmv ribs, as though had a smihy
Within NV breast. III could only feel las
surcd there will not be a party, thought |,
'wonld to heaven ii were over f"rlu-
natcIv, found the cousin alonc, making up
an account, IN his study. You are some
what late, friend Sloprau, sad he.
laughed in Il perfect agony 10 look agreea'
able for fear of meeting large party en-
crossed every thought
The cousin, having finished, looked
round for some sand. Anxious to- be OF SER
wee, rushed forward, seized, rs i'll luck
would have it,, the inkstlnl instead OF the
sandboN. and poured a whole stream OF the
best black writing fluid over tie neatly
kept ledger thought should have I'M
mrdlatrly tainted from sheer fright, and IN
INV confusion hurricdy drew forth my
snow white pocket haudk crchici to wipe II
up.
With an exclamation of VIII / on earth
are YOU doing there tr end StnIprau! my
entertainer smlIingly interPosed, and, pn'h
ing me and my black and white kerchIei
gently aside, quickly put things to rights
aud then led the way To the apartment
where the company were assembled. |
followed, but with troubled spirit, and on
looking down was horritied to observe an
ink blot as large as a form my left white
silk stocking. Help me, heaven ! men
tally groaned; what will the company
think ,
The room door is opened. | awkward,
block headed BOBBY that | was, thinking
10 show myself light and graceful, as well
as clever and gallant, sprang forward, bow
ing right and left, backward and forward,
scrapinp first with one foot, then with the
other, in all directions, and, not pcrceivng
a female domestic Just before M, who was
in the act of dishing up pie, dashed my
head with such force into her back, as 10
send the pie flying out oitbe dish on to the
floor, and So, with compliments and durk-
ing and bowling, blindiy advanced. felt
as though were in battle, and about TO
rush on the enemy guns.
What civil things were said on the part
of,he company | know not; as yet, had
not the courage TO took up, but continued
like ono possessed, bowling and scraping,
and calculating your humble servants, in
all direcuons, until cut short by fresh mis-
hap. ,, =,
Law there, for the servant had not sufficient
~ recovered from her fright and loss OF
breath. and stood staring at the masterpiece
of cooking dashed to pieces on the floor
without an effort To remove 1t.
All at once, whilst engaged IN making =
Trash inclination, my unfortunate lel' foot
wandered into the pasty. saw nothing
for all had become dark before my eyes
/, D,~-,..oC,lI, hut naturally enough, my