Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1848-02-04
THE EXPERIENCE OF DoWN.EAsTER.

nc stage, a Tall DeII-CFOWneQ White nat, short
wasted blue coat, with enormous pewter but
ions, vest as s'yaller' as a barber:y bios
som, and pair of corduroys, whose highest
seemed to be, to maintain their as
cendancy over an enormous pair OF cowhides
hat had trodden many hundred miles of log
ing paths, might have been seen,' Jack
knife and shingle in hand, vending his way
up Long Wharf, in the realization OF his life
long anticipations of seen" Boston At the
corner of Merchants Row. his progress was
arrested by the numbering transit of two sto-
~ house on wheels drawn by half dozen
yoke of oxen, with the people inside pursuing
their usual avocations
What on airth is that ere Z" he asked of a
bystander
''Oh, nothing" replied the" towney," "the
folks are all moving, that's ALL When we
move down here, we do it house and ALL"
Jerusalem Wall that beats all mater -
Wall, cap'n, what's that ERE big stun house
over the left? ;"
{" That's the new custom-house. It's a
mighty bad locaton-but they're going to
move it next week.
Thunder and molasses! It'll take all the
oxen IN creation to start herr
"Oh, they use elephants for moving such
large buildings"
And how many elephants will T take?''
"upwards of hundred"
The Yankee cut deep cash in his single,
and walked on. lie next inquired for the
Adams House, for he had 80 heerd tell" of that,
and was determined to progress during his ju-
venility, aware of the impossibility of doing
SO at a more advanced age.
He soon found the " tavern" and the dea-
CON-" and ordered accommodations literally,
" darning the expense" Having "slicked up"
a little, he witnessed with some Amusement the
operations of servant on gong, simply re-
marking that he know'd what sheet lightnin'
was, but this was the first time he'd ever heerd
of sheet thunder"
He followed the crowd into a dining hall
and was ushered to seat, where he enscon-
sed himself, tucked his towel under his chin
with sort Of desperation, as if he was going
to be shaved or scalped
The sight of the covered dishes added to his
amaZement
bod dern itv he exclaimed, "ef I ever
heerd of cookn' on the table! But here they've
gone and sot tin kitchens all over the lot
Whars the fire TO come from-that's what I'd
like to know"
He got along with his soup very well, and
was pausing for his breath, before he finished
it, when waiter snatch"d his plate away and
was running off with it:
Halo! you sir !" vociferated the Yankee
-" see you-fetch that ere back quicker'n
link lightnin', or else you'll have your head
punched!''
His plate was returned, and he finished his
soup with dignity. After waiting moment
he raised his voice again and summoned the
offending waiter sternly.
Cakelate to starve me ,"
"No, sir"
Wall-why don't you fetch on some fresh
fodder-darn ye' ,"
"There's the carte, sir"
"Where's the cart? And what in thunder
am to do with the cart when I've got il p
Look OUT, you pesky sarpint or you'll catch
it,.
The bill of fare"
81 don't pay me bill till l have had my
fodder
The waiter humbly explained the meaning.
"What's all these crack Jaw names. Give
me something plain and hearty-blled corn
beef, and fetch it about the quickest, while
look over the paper and see what else I'll
hev'
"Hold on" was the next order. What's
this here! M-a-c-a" Read it, won't you,
sir?''
Maccaroni, sir
" All right, cap'n. Hurry it up"
The dish was brought.
Yon eternel cuss p roaTed the down. as-
ter, "ef haint as great mind as ever had
to kerwhoIlop ye. and make an example OF
ye on the spot. What de We mean by runnin'
your rigs on me jest because I'm strangerin
these parts? Take away your billed pipe
stems, and fetch US some cabbage. That's
right. And now, squire, some vinegar
"Vinegar's in the castor, Sir p replied the
waiter, and made good his retreat.
"In the castor, is it. hey :" soloquIsed the
Yankee "And where III thunder Is the cas-
tor %
The young man opposite pushed it towards
him. He looked at it-took the stopper GU
of the vinegar, and taking up the castor by the
bottom, turned it up. But all the cruets mani
tested desire to illustrate the laws of gravity
and leap from their locations, and the Yankee
was compelled to set it down again.
Jerusalem!'' he exclaimed GO This here
is curious contrivance, and no mistake
How on airth am to get al the tarnel vine
gar' I'll try once more"
Again he canted the castor, but this time al
the stopples tumbled out.
Thunderation - he reared; here's pref
ty mess. Darn it all-here Pve got the darnec
castor all in my gravy, and the darned rec
lead on my cabbage, and the yeller on my
| 'tater. Darn the thing, | say"
"My friend,' said the gentleman opposite
with strong control over his risible muscles
at appears 10 me that if were in want o
vinegar, should have taken the vinegar cru
ct out of the stand, and by that means
should avoid all trouble
Here the whole company, walers and all
burst into a convulsive Mt OF laughter. Tn
Yankee rose in rage, upsetting his chair
and glarng defiance at his neighbors.
| "How in the name of all the eternal Gus
ses in creation" he yelled, ''should know
ANYTHING about the way the darn thing work
| ed when I never seed one of 'em before 2
You've Matched this up agin' mel know il
Whars the landlord? Fetch your bill on
I'll get out of this hain't eat ten cent
worth, but I'll pay up like book, and Gus
and unit. And if ever set out to eat mea
of yittles in Boston town again, you may tax
nv h1Ie and tan it. Darn your casters an
YOUR cas- tor lie, and you, too, me and all
and fI;neing down dollar on the table, h
seized his white bell-top from the hand OF th
trembling waiter. and OdmoSed Down WASH
ington and State streets, he streaked 1t like
comet, and never Stacked his pace till he pu
led up on board the kennebec.
"Cap'n," said he to the commander, "ca
off vour lines lest as quick as you're anime
and ef YOU catch me wanting to see Bosto
again. lest take me by the slack and thro