The daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1848-1851, 1848-03-13

of the distinguished indy idual whose name leads
off our present sketch of noted characters is tasE
tasteful as it is agreeable The duty of the faith
full chronologst and hiographer is particularly
cheerful one when the subject of such notice is
calculated to heighten the interest we feel in the
dignity and delicate sensibilities of human nature
Funk, like all other illustrious personages who
have become so well known as no longer to need
the titllary soubriquet of Mister was born and
hrougf! up-no knows where at least the in
formation we have on this point is exceedingly
uncertain and contradictory. Without, therefore
descending INTO the particulars of his early training
and history, or infinitely tracing up the rationale of
cause and effect, by showing that youth of moral
proximity will i'll time, into that species OF
moral gum-elasticity which goes to constitute the
blood and bones of individuals comprising his
genus, we shall proceed at once IN medaS res as
the boys say at college, and make known to you.
gentle reader, that Peter Funk is young gentle
man : about town " who holds the highly response
bic office of by-bidder in a Mock Auction-being
engaged to said work by the man Wot sells the
Watches.'
You re a gentleman of leisure about Orleans,
may be, stranger, and loungng about - street.
You hear the musical sound of the human voice
divine, crying out s. fvenaff. fve-n-a-H : only
going at twenty five dollars and-n-a-H for this ele-
giant gold watch and chain, III prime running order,
st sent i'll to be sold by genttman LeaUing torn,
and only five-naff, and must be sold fye-n-a-Hi
Did hear you say six. sir1" Perhaps you drop ill.,
and if you not careful how you look at the
musical anctioneer he will accept Of your look for
a wink, and, according to the philosophy of the
a w tnro md find
yourself in nominal possession of an elegant gold
watch and chain, in prime running order Just sent
in to be sold by gentleman leaving town. before
you are well aware of what you are about. So
take care how you look when you are in the patent
auction shops There stands the auctioneer in all
the serious earnestness of a man begging for his life
and, with voice and looks and gestures, seems like
one speaking sober truth, and " nothin else Only
half dozen individuals comprise his aud fence,
and these half dozen are Peter Funk and his
corps de reserve. Peter looks somewhat stouter
to-day than he was yesterday and has exchanged
his cloth cloak and cap for blanket coat and cha
peau blanc, and his whskers have shared the fate
Of the last rose of summer that is to saw they
have evaporated-iropped off: they are non est
muentus-gone
Yes, that S Funk and his five interesting associ-
ates in business companions of his toll his feel
ngs and his fame Peter the lst, Peter the ID.
Peter the Sd, Peter the 4th and Peter the 5th-he
himself being no other than Peter the Great, or the
great Peter Peter Funk, Esq
Now. stranger, take care what you re about
you re the only bona fde customer-if customer
you choose to call yourself-that has entered the
portals of the auction shop as yet, and Peter Funk
Primus and Peter Funk Secundus have done all
this bidding that makes the cryer keep up such
hubbaboo. Well. you do MT know of this fact. and
you think s. a man s a man for a that and YOU
don understand the secret of Peter Funk and his
associates, the service they re engaged in and
you only see looking watch. just sent in to
be sold bya gentleman leaving town. and going
dog cheap You nod your head and straituay
the countenance of the cryer brightens up and his
voice grows even more vociferous than before.
He's got a bid-a real bid-and the first and only
one. He tacks on five dollars more and now he's
heard going it in fine style: Thirty thirty thrtv,
thirty, thirty only going at thirty dollars for a
splendid elegant gold lever with seventeen pairs of
extra jewels, lately imported and now must be
sold -
He cries on at this rate for perhaps ten minutes |
occasionally casting glance at the passers-by to
see if any more grecnegs be toed in. Peter
Funk takes the watch in his hand and examines it |
and with very significant look as |
though his judgment was perfectly satisfied he says
: Thirty five. -
Against you, sir cries Mr. Auctioneer. and
orhwith sets off with unusual voubIitv CRYING
'u' one rotundo, So thrty-five thirty-fve- onJy |
,ong at thrty-fve.
dol c..
$ certainty as cheap as dri-they ask eghty-fve or
ninety at the stores and these thoughts revolve
n your mind, you think you might make five and
Wenty dollars as we'll not, as there are plenty of
boys up in your country who would jump at the bar
you nod again, the auctioneer having in
he meanwhile directed the whole force of his yoca-
DE artillery at you, and launched forth in such a
igmaroe of praise of said time-piece, that YOU
:ould MT well resist his very passionate appeal
Forty dollars" is quickly caught up. "Ouly
ong at forty dollars forty forty forty forty -
md now the cryer turns to Peter the interesting
Peter, whose turn for serious debcruiiou has again
ONE. He again examines the watch, turns it over
nd over again, and, as he hands it to the crver.
avs, in very low but decided tone of voice FORTY
i've -
BY this time one or two other loungers like your
elf have dropped III, and monsieur cryer applies
imselt with exceeding earnestness in lauding the
watch, as never, sure, watch was auded before
kept perhaps at patent auction.
While you are revolving in your mind whether
to go" the .fttg, some other greeney from
the upper parishes, or may be from Mississippi,
With his pockets full of money, cries out " fifty by
ID, - and you relieved from what would
ave been a very dear bargain to you-the invoice
rice of said elegant gold lever having been
My SIT 30, Like Hodges razors, they are
made to sell, and many the green 'uns that
re bit awtully bit, by the persuasive speech
the aucioneer, and still more persuasive bid
lngs of his interesting coad lutor in this pretty
rIsiness Peter Funk, Esq, the subject of our pre-
mt = sketch"
was pretty well acquainted with Funk before
e went into the . Auction and Commission bust
ess = we boarded a while together at the same
ouse. Since his embarkation into the business
how off,