The examiner. [volume] (Louisville, Ky.) 1847-1849, 1848-09-02
rhe MODEL raiIsr.

4 The MODEL Iaiior.
He is the most confding Of human be-
Iings. He is generous-chariiable to a
fault--for the destitute have only to go to
him and ask for the clothes. and they get
exactly what thsy want. He gives them
the best OF everything--velvets, silks, the
finest kerseymeres-Dothing is too good for
them. He even feels virtuous pleasure in
the act--and is quite angry il the person
whom he has clothed does not retnrn.to him
afterwards, and be measured for a new suit.
Far from repulsing you, he makes you wei
come, and really feels grateful that you
have not forgotten him! He presses you in
the most tempting manner TO have some
thing new. He has lovely pattern for a
waistcoa,-a real Cashmere-it is Just the
thing for you. Will you allow him to send
you home one! He is miserable if you re-
fuse, so take the waistcoat by all means,
and make the poor fellow happy. He has
also, some beautiful stuff for trowsers-just
arrived from Paris-it would become you
admirably-will you let him make you a
pair? Don't say DO, or else his generous
1 heart will sink, and with it his high opinion
Of you. His philanthropy. in fact, is un-
bounded; he does good merely for the sake
Of good. All men are his brothers, with
this exception, that he gives them all they
ask, even lends them all they ask, even
lends them money if they want it, and new
er expects the smallest return. He is the
Gentleman's Best Friend.
j The Model Tailor, sometimes, it must
J be confessed, sends in his bill, though pay
ment, generally speaking, never enters into
} his thoughts. But then he is ashamed Of
the liberty, ard apologies most profusely
for it. de is fully sensible that he is doing
wrong, and bushes in his soul for the shah
biness he is guilty Of. 1t is only that he is
/, terribly distressed for money, or else he
would not think Of ''troubling" you. lie
J is greatly subject to that heaviest Of all so
T cial calamities-a "little BILL" He asks
/ you, as the greatest favor, to let him have a
: strife upon that account" and leaves you
happier than poets can express, il you
5 promise to let him have something in a day
! or two. Should it be inconvenient, howev
er, he never presses the point, and will
! look in some other time. Should you ex
J press establishment at his demand-you can
, not have had his bill more than two years
he excuses himself in the most penitentia
} manner, and begs your pardon for having
mentioned the subject. The next day he
! calls to inquire if you want anything in his
} way; the generous creature forgives as
) quickly as he forgets. His anger is only
reused when you leave him to 20 TO another
tailor. He is very jealous Of any one else
doing kind action, and would like to en-.
!, Joy the monopoly Of alIth Schneider viz.
tues. In his anger be has been known to
send lawyers letter; but if you go to him,
and tell him what you think Of his conduct
and order new wrap-rascal, he will settle
the matter himself, and assure you that the
thing is purely mistake, and that no one
can possibly be more sorry for it than he is.
i The Model Tailor takes pride in seeing
! his clothes on the back OF perfect gentle
man. He knows no higher qualification
| than when he is "cutting on" a nobleman.
lis greatest enjoyment is going to the OPP.
Pera, and recognising. from distance, the
Earls, and Marquises, and dashing young
Barts, and knts., all walking about in the
charming" coats he has made for them.
He throws his entire soul into his business,
and places it high among the Fine Arts.
Sculpture excepted, which he excludes al
together, as he cannot imagine how persons
can see any beauty in Apollo and Venus,
dressed as they are. or how toga can be
considered suit Of clothes any more than
a table-clolh.
The Model Tailor has exquisite taste,
and unlimited faith. He praises the figure
oil every one Of his customers, and never
doubts any one till after four years credit.
lie strives his utmost TO conceal the eccen-
tricities Of pair of parenlhetical legs, and
spares no cloth for fattening every misera.
bic lean calf that comes under mis- paternal
shears. He disowns fox's heads and four.
ln-hands, and such vagaries upon saucer
buttons. and does not encourage the style Of
dress invented by the stable mind" He
warrants to f. anything. and boasts, though
not much given to joking, Of having made
dress-coat for a cork-screw. He does not
recommend things to wash, that are sure to
leave their complexion behind them in the
FIRST wash-tub, nor make practice of regis
tering his straps, his belts, button-holes,
and every little article Of costume. He es-
Inmates men, not by their measures but his
own, and in his tailors' eyes he is the best
man who turns out the best after he has
been well-dressed by him once or twice. He
despairs Of Lord Broughaln ever being a |
great man, bu. has great hopes of Prince
Albert.
The Model Tailor rarely makes for |
tune, unless he has been very unfortunate
through life. An insolvency puts him
straight a first bankruptcy leaves him a
handsome surplus, and second one enables
him to retire. The sad truth is, that the
simple child OF Eve knows he owes all his
business to the fact Of her biting the apple
and he has not the heart to distress any son
of Adam for the clothes he wears. Perhaps
ne feels that it would be like pocketing the
wages Of sin. His assignees, therefore, are
obliged to collect his debts for him, and &C.
cordingly the oltener he fails, the richer he
becomes. He buys, in his old age, large
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