Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1848-03-01
WtddeI Julip and the Woodchuclk
OR THE WAY
Uncle lack got Saft-SO0ped.
Ia n e. ,s L arm.
IN REN RoWIIHE,

Uncle lack got Saft-Soaped.
4 Ia X ee,s yarn.
~ BEN sowLIsE.
II was dark stormy nigh.--dssk as the-i
ice OF Spades. and The rain was beating rega-
sr tattoo against the window paDes Of an old
half crazy shell Of tavern, wherein a number /
81 way-worn. dirt despatched travellers were /
seated around the fire. got up expressly for the
OCCASION by our landlord, who. if not corpu-
lent a. FalstaF. was, TO say the least, jolly. |
and esdeavorcd. to she bes, Of his ability, to
make ~ merry by making rum punches.
Now, reader, ! am not drinking man-O no.
not by any means--but then, do take drop
sometimes, when am travelling, just to keep
of the fever and ague, you understand: and as
the night in question was damp and chilly, and
a. every thing was rather free, Why maybe
did take little more than usual with me on
similar occasions. as, in fact, presume most of
my companions did. Well, well. this is all very
we'll in its place. but foreign to my suLject-so
here goes.
My companions. for the night, were strange
mcdly of Dutch, Irish, ilooser, and Yankee;
what !. myself. am, leave for You to guess We
had taken horn or two round, and just began TO
feel. as Pat said like wee bit Of row. when
tho Yankee proposed that each should relate
story Of some kind, 'in ORDER he said, so let
the evening slide right down, Jist as slick as
Iicker.' No sooner had the proposition been
made, than "a story, u story re-ounded on all
sides, the landlord timing to bring up the rear
and, Of course, as the Yanlsee had proposed. he
was the proper one 10 set the example; and get
ting our tumLlers once more repienished,
tie IL
(thc Dutchman smoked pipe,) and then signi
fed 10 the Yankee, that were ready.
'WaI.' returned he - taking sip at the punch.
and throwing himself bnck in the ci'air-(and
Inc was a mighty long man. an! thin one. and
had rather peaked face, sharp nose, large
mouth, small laughing grey yes)-'wal, guess
I'm jest about as ready any Of We, So
well. be jabcrs! don't be afhcr making thin
preIimnarya. Mis,her Yankee: and don't be at
iher Citing ti,runk till we've tould the story
interrupted Pat, who had just enough Liquor in
him to make him feel very consequential.
'Yaw, dat is right. dat is goot,'-chimed in the
Dutchman.
Hold your tongues. your tarnal--.'
Tho story. the story, cried I
'Whoop! the story. be jabers' said Pat.
'Yaw. dat ish right. went the buchanan.
The Yankee scratched his head. and the COM
menced:
wal, You see, gentlemen, my name is Zebcdi-
sh.-Zebediah Tucker. is the whole ont;-but
for the short they jist call me Zeb.--wa, We see.
I have uncle and his'n is Zlchariah- call
linn Zaci-he's curious kind GA chap, guess,
as ever you see; he wonId't no more mind lick
ing man than nothing; and he', tarnal big, tn,
nd nd bas To-
of maple with the sap int and he's strong as n
boil calf, and he's great chap tell ye.
wal. yc see, my uncle's old Bach Of forty
who never got married, Cause he was either tn
bashful. or else cause he couldn't git nobody to
have i'm, which is jest about as bad. l know
he'd like to get married, the tarna! cri:tur cause
he's always casting sleeps eys at every gall he
eces, and kinder edging up tu her side ways like.
Wal We scc-my uncle lives in the ncighbor r
hood Of Swampdown--a mighty slick place tn.
tell ye--near Rumfast river, tight in the holler
wal y- sec, there amt many gals round there
cause the young fclrrs kept counting and mar.
ryipg ON 'em of, all the time, SO that the place
ispnrty much thinncd out-and what is left OF
'em arc mighty scary like ,so-a feler don't stand
much sight Of catching one, unless he can put a
gold bate OH his hook. which amt quito so easy
I'll du in these times, you know. 'Bout five
years ego, there came wilder there, from,
same place way down near Stonypint-a real
click, buxo wilder she was, tn, / tell ye- but
as spi,eful, when she got mad, Old hen
with chickens. Some folks said she'd run away
from her hus,and--but don't believe it, cause
she wasn't the crittur to run away from any
and some said she had mt never been married. and
and there all sorts o stories bout her, which
she didn't seem In mind no more'n notl'in at all
wal yc see, bout tcw years ago. come hay
ing time, uncle Zack TUX a notion in his head
hc'd 20 and see the wilder, cause he kinder fell
as if hc oughter git married, and all the gall.
round there had gin him the sack Now uncle
lack had poked his face int, my mess tew O.
three times. and split courting for me. and 81
Id made up my mind the fust time I 60, chance
I'd pay him of, right nice. And SO when fouuc
out that uncle lack was going tn see the wilder
II ticked me amazingly. and ses ]. to myself
I'll pay you old Teller, if don't darn my but
tons.
Now I'd heared that the wilder had taken
desperate liking Ia rabbits. but hated woodchucl
ns bad 40 temperance man does tn be caugh
drunk (which is tarnal bad you know--and SO
went to work and studied up plan to fix i'm
Yc see tho reason the wilder hated VIC o,chuck
was, cause TELLER that used to see her. as sh
sud, fore she'd married, got mad, or hufly, 'bou
something and scnt her a mi,,en rolled up in on
Of these critters skius--and ever since that, she
been mortal enemy Of 'em.
Il mistrustcd uncle lack would be comm owe
TO az my opinion bout things. and how to pro
coed. tye see liv'd right sother side Of fou
acre field. from uncle Zack's.) As hc always wan
ted to git my advice. cause il didn't cost nothin'
for uncle Zack was taruel ssingy man: he
sometimes walk barefoot and carry his shoes. 10
fear he'd wear 'cm out too soon! Wal, sure emf
ono mornin', 'forc breakfast as was st'in' O.
the doorsl, whiting down tho lcetle cend Of
pine single TO a pint, who should cum up bu
uncle lack. didn't let on I seed him, at all