The Middlebury galaxy. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1848-1850, 1848-12-19
CEL1BACY AND BUTTONS.

"You heard us talking, ay, ST, the old story
grievances, sir, 'twixt man and woman ="
said the hermit. Z" And what is that, sir ?"
we as',od.-The hermit. shaking his head and
'eroanine cried" Buttons =" ButtoRs?" said
we. The hermit drew himself closer to the ia
BITE, and spreading his arms upon it, leaned
forward With serious air Of a man prepared
10 discuss grave thing, " Buttons he replied.
Then, clearing his throat, he began - In the
course Oh your long, and as | hope, well spent
life, has it never come with thunderbolt con-
viction upon you, that all washerwomen, clear
starchers, getters up of fine linen, OF whatev-
er name, Ewes daughters,-for as Eve brought
upon us the stern necessity of shirt, it is
but just that her girls should wash thunder
whatever name they cleanse and beautify flax
and cotton, that they are all under some COM
pact, implied or solemnly entered upon a
mongst themselves and their non-washing.
non-standing, non-getting-up sisterhood, that
by means subtle, and almost morally certain.
they shall worry, or drive all bachelors and
widowers soever into the bond of irremedial
wedlock? Has this tremendous truth, sir
never struck you 2" "How-by what means ?"
we asked. Simply, by buttons" answered
the hermit, bringing down his clenched fist
upon the table. =" | will take a man, who, on
MS OulSldIl III lllC StlS HAT dCOCh III
mony-a man who defies Hymen and all lis
wicked wiles. Nevertheless, sir, the man
must wear shirt the man must have a wash
erwoman. Think YOU that that shirt return
ing from the tub, never wants one-two-
three buttons? Always sir-always- Sir,
| though ] am now an anchorite, have lived
il: your bustling world, and seen, ay, quite as
much as any one, of its manifold wickedness.
| Well, the man-ihe buttonlcss man--at first
calmly demonstrates with his laundress. lie
pathctically wrings his wrist at her. coat-facc.
and she promises amendment. The thing
shall never happen again. The week revolves.
| Think YOU the next shirt has its Just and law
| full number of buttons? Not biz"
Starting at the word, we looked, we fear
reproachfully, in the hernit's face. I" Pardon
me /; let i. be as it had never been said" cried
the anchorite-a deeper tint drawing i'll his
face, and his eye looking suddenly moist. Par
don me, but the heart has strange cords, even
buttons NAV sometimes shatter them" We
bowed, and begged the hermit to proceed
Well sir" said our host after effort, ''wecb
after week the poor man wranglcs with hls
washerwoman from the gentlencss Of even
maidenly complaint, the remonstrance rises to
hurricane of abuse and still the washer
woman, rs it would seem, is bound by oath 10
her unmarried sisterhood to bring home no
shirt complete in buttons Mantle ferceSt
of his kind-camnot always rage. He becomes
tired-ashamed of clamor. lie signs, AMI
bears his buttoncss fate. His thoughts take
a new turn In his melancholy his heart
pens he is softeEcd, subdued and in this
hour of weakness a demon voice whispers Il
him, Fond foolish man. why trust thy bull
tons to an alien Why helplessly depend
upon the needle and thread of one who loves
not thee, but thy shilling? Take Il wife have
a woman OF thine own, who shall care for til!
buttonsl" The temper is strong. 7 he man
smiles distrustfnlly, but still he smiles. Tha
very night-it so happens-he goes toa house
warming. He is partner at cards with Mis-
Kitty. She never did look so attractive. Ant
then her voice. would coax nail out Of ;
heart of oak. The man thinks of ms buttons
and before he leaves the house, Kitty has beer
brought to confess that she doesn't know wha
she may do-and she may marry, and she ma,
nol"-" Is it possible ?" we cried, with a laugh
4" Sir said the hermit, ats not a thing TO idly
| laugh at. a..e ii.ty matches, and be assured
of /, if you sd era well out Of forty, at least
! YOU will if! 1uu3;s in some shape at the bot
ION Of en- {. NAV be- said we. IL is,
cried the hermit, with emotion. d" Asses are
led by their noses men by their buttons. IL
! Illuminated Nag.