Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1848-11-15
ling at The masterpiece ef her cooking
| L. i Hrlfir

ALI at once, while engaged in mokiny
a fresh inclination, my aunlortunate lei
foo, wandered inlo the passfy. | saw moth
ing. for all had become dark before m,
ewes. Disgracefully, but natnrally enough
my foot slid from under me; in an inslan
personal and political bslance were lost
and down came, measuring my length
| (just five fee, and seven inches) on lhe
floor, TO the no small sarm Of some anc
'he irrepressib!s. =laasshl others 81
fthe large and Wcfsbipfts company there
assembled
In falling brought down two chairs
which had seized hold of in order TO save
myself, together with young and pretty
female who in all probability was at this
moment abou, 10 seat herself. but now with
u speed equal 10 that of her chair came
rolling on The floor beside me. Gracious
heaven! 1t was my Barbara
A terrible clamor arose, and as Law
there roared Justify too, for seeing, in
addition to myself and the two chaiis. q
lady stretched out on The floor, felt per-
suaded that shock Of earthquake must
have taken place. To my great relief
soon discovered that no earthquake had
caused this melancholy fall, but, as al
ready narrated, only veal pastry.
We got up. The cousin treated the
whole affair as an excellent Joke. 1t was
very we'll for him to joke, but could have
wept. nay died, with shame and vexa, on.
| went TO :he nanlelapiece without offering
one word of apology, but as all around me
were laughing and giggIing, laughed
too and from time to lime threw stolen
glances at the cause Of my misfortune.
AT last we took our places at the table.
The cousin was so gallant as to place me
next to Barbara had rather have been
situated near volcano than at the side of
this amiable and pretty creature. fel.
the most extraordinary sensations, thus in
Iuxiaposition with my future bride. Of
the assembled guests venlured only 10 take
rapid glance at intervals
Soup was served round. Barbara offer
ed me some, but now could accept it 3
She herself was yet unprovided. Compli.
ments were exchanged; / already foresaw
that some new evil would arise out of these
abominable civillies. Hence | became
more and more pressing. and looking i'm
Ploringly into The face of my charmer,
forgot The plate altogether The ,conse-
quence was thai poured' hot soup inlo
Barbara's lap and over her clothes. and
in endeavoring hastily to withdraw it sent
the remainder into my own lap, deluging
alike my garments and my finger napkin.
1t was q fraternal division. | shall never
forget it. | remember all as though it oc-
Cured but yesterday. 1t was crab soub!
The charming Barbara left the table,
| s'ammered out sundry apologies. The
guests endeavored to console me, and a
fresh plate was handed me. Meanwhile
my pantaloons were s'eaming from the in
undation. Barbara was now obliged 10
change her dress. She returned, and |
endeavored again and again 10 excuse
myself as we'll as test could.
On perceving that she smiled gracious
ly, felt somewhat treasured, and began
TO brush the cold perspiration from my
face, Of course not with nv hand, but
with my ocket-handkerchief.
Alas amid the accumulated disasters
that haG since occurred, had entirely for
gotten the inf bus, ness. In drying off the
perspiration, rubbed in the ink SC thor
oughly,. that on replacing the handkerchief
in my pocket the company were amazed
to fud me converted into perfect blacke-
moor.
Titterings and roars Of laughter succeed
&c. Politeness compelled me to join in
the laugh, and | did so heartily for some
time, without knowing why or wherefore;
until l found that some of the ladies were
becoming alarmed at my visage, and now
| for the first time perceived that my hand.
kerchief had got me into a fresh
scraPe, and what an appearance must
present.
In alarm rose precipitately now from
the table and commenced n retreat toward
the kitchen, in order to wash myself; and
in so doing. having inadvertently buttoned
corner of the table-cloth TO my waist
coat, down came plates and dishes. boiled
and roasted meats. salad and spinach.
bottles and and salt-cellars. knives and
forks, spoons and glasses-all rushed after
me with fearful crashing and clatter.-
The guests on witnessing all the good
things thus suddenly Withdrawn and many
Il dellcacy on which hey had set their
hearts come in full career after me, sat
with open mouths and riyited TO The spot
with astonishment.
AT first, on seeing the plates and dishes
closely following on my heels. could at
tribute the freak only TO witchcraf; but the
cousin springing with both Feet on TO the
cloth, brought it, together with the attach
ing button, away with jerk. and brought
me to sense of my situation.
sought as fast as my legs could carry
me, not the kitchen but tine stairs. flew a.
cross the street, and did not halt till reach.
ed my chamber. For four weeks not a
soul did admit to my presence. and from
that time never thought Of malrimony
without sensation of giddiness, and as &c
large parties. the bare idea brings on ar
ague fit. l now laugh myself at my
helplessnes. But my history may serve
to many, not indeed as an example, bu
for warning and instruction.