The examiner. [volume] (Louisville, Ky.) 1847-1849, 1848-09-23

h hctphS uici Iuitt, Dul OeSo 1Ou VIII
not hesitate to mention il If they are at all
noisy. She has told them at least fifty |
times never TO come into your room, the
little plaques! She's very sorry, but she
cannot make twenty breakfasts, and wait
upon twenty gentlemen all at once. You
really must wait a little longer. Well it's
very strange, but the chimney never did
smoke before; what can be the cause Of
iI OH that noise at the back is the skit. |
tie ground-she quite fosgot TO mention il |
previously, but her house adjoins ga public"
it's great nuisance, to be sure, but lis only |
Of an evening, and won't trouble you much |
after eleven. She hopes you feel yourself
perfectly comfortable!
She can't for the life Of her make out
who takes your books all she knows is,
that she's no time for reading-it must be
that hussey, Ann; she'll send her away as
sure as she's born, if she catches her at it.
You must make mistake-there wasn't
bit of the leg left yesterday. she's ever so
positive there was 'nt-she can show you
the bone if you wish it. She never recol-
lects Goals so abominably dear; IT'S quite
shameful! The ton you had in last week is
all gone, and she was obliged to lend you a
coal-scuttle herself this morning. She
can't make ont what makes the paper so
late-those tiresome boys are enough to
wear ones life out. She's very sorry if
there's no mustard in the house-she has
told Ann TO get some at least hundred
times, if she has told her once, but it's Of
no use. She must get rid Of the GIRL
Lor! how very provoking-she wishes you
had only told her you wanted some hot
water-she's Just that very minute put the
kitchen fire out, but there's some nice fresh
water. if you'll have any.
What! FLEA? OTIS quite impossible to
express the scream in type; the reader must
imagine i'll his minds ear something equal
in shrillness 10 a railway whistle). A FLEA
did you sayl Oh that she should live to
hear such a thing! She's only poor lone
widow, and it's cruel-that it is-to throw
such a thing in her facel Well! if you are
bitten all over, it's 10 fault Of hers; you
must have brought the "nasty things" in
yourself. Her house is known to be the
sweetest house in the whole street-you
can ask anybody if it isn't. Would you be
kind enough not to ring the bell so often
there's poor invalid lady on the first floor,
and it distresses her sadly! She begs your
pardon, but linen always was an extra-she
had gentleman who stopt in her paIlors
once for ten years; he was very nice gen.
tleman to be sure, something in the law,
and he never all the time raised so much as
murmur against the linen, nor any other
gentleman that she has had any dealings
with. You must be mistaken.
She really cannot clean more than one
pair Of boots day-some persons seem 10
have no bowels for the servants-poor crea
tuIesl Well! what's the matter with the
curtains, she should like very much to
know? What, rather old. WE'LL on hel
word lis the first time she's ever been told
so, and they've only been up these eighl
years-if so much, decidedly not more.-
However, if persons are not satisfied, they
had better go-she has been offered three
and sixPance a week more for the rooms
and goodness knows she doesn't make a
blessed farthing by them. She's anxious tC
satisfy everybody, but cannot do wonders
and what's more, won't, to please anybody
She's extremely sorry to hear that you have
lost half your shirts, but she cannot be an.
swerable for her servants, Of course. She
has told her dodgers over and over again al
ways to be careful and lock their drawers,
till she's fairly tired Of telling theml What
do you say? They always have been lock
ed Well! she shouldn't at all wonder now
that you suspect heT!-if so; she can only
tell you to your face that she does'n wear
shirts, and begs you'll suit yourself else
where. She never experienced such treat.
ment in all her life, and more than that she
won't-no, not to please the Queen, or the
very best ledger in the world Perhaps
you'll accuse her next Of stealing your tea
and sugar! What, you do! Well! she's
ashamed Of you-that she is-and should
like exceedingly to know what you call
yourself? A gentleman indeed! No more
a gentleman than she is gentlemanl-
However, she won't harbor such gentlemen
in her house, she's determined on that; 50
you'll please take the usual notice, and
bundle yourself of as quick as you can,
and precious good radiance too, She won't
stand nonsense from anybody. though she is
nothing better than poor widow, and has
not soul to protect her in the wide world
She never saw such gentleman.
Not word more, however, is said
The next evening some oysters are sent in
for supper "with Missus' compliments.
please, she says they're beautifully fresh;
or If il is Sunday, she ventures in herself
with her best cap, and two plates, one over
the other, and "hopes you will excuse the
liberty. but the Joint looked so nice, she
thought you would Just lik a slice Of hot
meat for luncheon, with nice brown po-
tato." She stirs the fire; sees that the win
dows are fastened down tight; can't make
out where the draft comes out; asks in the
soflest voice whether you wouldn't like a
nice q lass of pale ale; and finishes by wip.
ing with her apron the dust off the mantel-
piece and all the chairs, and hoping that
you're comfortable.
As the fatal day draws near, she knocks
at the door. sis she disturbing youl-
Would you be kind enough to let her have
a little drop Of brandy-she would esteem
1t great fayor-she has such a dreadful
sinking"
The next morning she lays the breakfast
cloth herself. For the first time the week
ly bill is not ready, 'but she's in no hurry;
any time will do. Why! surely you're not