The Evansville daily journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ia. [i.e. Ind.]) 1848-1862, 1848-12-20
HOW TO STEAL WATERMELONS.


The Sunday Dispatch, Of Philadelphia,
tells a capital story of this head, The gist Of
which will be found below. II appears that
one jacob Singer, quiet, elderly sort Of
workDgman, got possession with desire TO
Taste watermelon from the patch OF a neigh
Dor named Bennett. His eye was on the
patch for long time, his mouth waiered and
he hailed between conscience and desire.
AT last, however, the watermelons became
ripe. Jacob knew it, though he had never
seen them; and now the temptation was ire
sisiable. Our hero, though with many COM
Functions, determined 10 have one-only
one; and that very night he avowed it should
be done.
Evening came, and after feeling in his
pocket if his jack knife was safe, he started
ON his expedition. The road seemed 10
INN unusaIly long and dreary-several times
he seemed liile frightened.-The truth
is qe had never undertaken such an expedi-
ton before, and not without reason has The
great doet written, that conscience doth
make towards Of us ALL"
We are now at s.old Benefits fence, and
Jacob is over il, and cautiously advancing to
where he knew the 'pa,ch" must be-not
unnoliced, however. ''Old Bennett knew
the value Of his melon crop, and that if he
would keep il he must watch il; and watch
il he did, as the dragon OF old watched the
fruit Of Hesperides. No sooner had Jacob
crossed the fence thanilhe owner Of the mel.
ons advanced from his hiding place, and was
about 10 hail the intruder, when to his sur.
prise he discovered who il was.
Now Jacob was about the last man that
Bennett would have expected TO come at
night TO rob his melon patch, and even now,
as he cautiously moved on before him. he al
most doubted. Nevertheless, he carefully
followed him. The depredalor aimed at
once for the patch. There was no moon,
but lew stars shed light enough to enable
him to find his way into the midst. Hastily
selecting promising one, he struck once
more for the fence, siisi followed by "Old
Bennett" Crossing it, he threw himself
and prey down into the midst Of the bushes,
muierng as he did so-"Well old teller,
you have done il this timer'
The jack-knife was psoduced, and a slice
hewed oui ;but no sooner was the first mouth
ful taken than he sputiered il out, exclaim-
ing-"lts cussed green punkinn A mo-
ment after he went on--''You are a nice
old fool, you are, Jacob, | guess! an honest
clever old fellow, so the neighbors all say
You are stupid hog, Jacob, you are. You
are rascally old fool, you are, Jacob. You
would steal waiermelons, would youa and
yon have stole cussed green punkini Well /
old fellow you TOuld steal il; now, cuss you,
you shall eat it," Suiiing The action 10
the word, he began te devour his prize with
many expressions OF disgust, and with a de-
termination 10 keep the '.old fool" to it. AT
last the task was accomplished, and he rose
to depart, mu,tering as he did so, to The in
finite amusement Of old Bennett, who said
nothing. You internal old ass, il serves you
right! You are not 6t for a rascal!-Any
man who has no more gumpion than 10
steal punkin instead Of watermelon, had
betrer keep honest. He'll never make any
hing out of his rascalmy."