Weekly national intelligencer. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1841-1869, 1848-12-30
Life is real, lie Is earnest;
Things are jest what they do seem !;
Down Salt River thou returnest,
o. nv Tribune, tbs no dream.

Life is real, life is earnest;
Things jest what they do seem
Down Salt River thou teturnest,
O. my Tribune, tbs no dream.
When | seen who il was | was amazingly puZ-
zled. I'd heard good many songs that had more
truth than poetry in 'em, but this one seemed 10
have more poetry than truth. Any how, if this was
really Salt River that we had heard much tell of
couldn't seem to make out how should be sail
ing down stream so fast, and the Tribune-man be
Juggling up stream SO hard. This didn't agree with
. the election returns at all. Something has got
twisted round; things is not jest what they seem.
While was bothering my head about il, looked
over on 'lother side of the river and there
other man with line over his shoulder, towing
larger and heavier boat up stream, as thought.
He was tall ofhcer-looking man, with large whs
kers, and stood up straight, and walked strong,
though he didn't care for nobody. He too seemed
to be singing very merry song. All | could hear
of it was just this varse
Old Uncle Sam Jolly old soul,
And jolly old soul was he;
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl
And he called for Taylor and me.
AS he passed by me see the name on the starn
of the boat was New York Courier and Enquirer.
was in great puzzlement; these Wing chaps
was all so merry, and vet, if this was really Salt
River it seemed to me they was going the wrong
way, according to the lection, and | couldn't tell
what 10 make Of it. As | was near enough to hail
the Courier man, | thought would call to him and
see if could get any light on the subject. So,
says L.
HuIlo, Colonel" He stopped and turned
round, and answered, " Hulo."
Says ], g ask your pardon, Colonel, bat I'm
stranger in these parts, and stranger to you but
know you by your boat. Will you be so kind
as TO tell me where I'm bound to? For I'm kind
Of lost
"Oh, certainly" says he, with the greatest
pleasure, my dear sir. You are bound straight up
to the head Of Saltriver: you cant miss your way,
for there isn't single path that turns out between
here and there"
swell now says |, " Colonel, you or must be
under some strange mistake. Don't you see I'm
floating down on the current! Amt the river
running down this way, and carrying me along
with il ?"
At that he laughed outright, and says he, Il see
you are nothing but fresh water sailor, and don't
know any thing about the navigation of Salt
river" .
swell, how should T. says |, for never was
in these waters BEFORE"
Well,' says he, Salt rirer runs up stream !;
jest bear that in your mind, and you find il all
plain sailing"
:" But that cant be possible" says /; "you, nor
Il, nor nobody else, ever knew a river to run up
stream"
You may depend upon it." says he, +" Salt river
runs up stream; and | suppose that is the only
river in America that does run up stream"
BY this time had foated so far by that couldn't
hear any thing more he said. But it wasn't long
before | was satisfied the Colonel was right: for
the current carried me along back into the coun-
try, the land kept growing higher and higher, and
at last found myself quite up among the noun
tains and when come to the head Of the river, the
current run my plank right plump ashore.
found good many Of our Eiends already here
before me, and ! understand great many more are
on the way. Our annexn' friend, Gineral Cass,
hasn't got here yet, but he's expected now every
day. This is pretty good sort Of a country up
here, after all, and has good many advantages.
But haven't time to give you much account Of it
to-day; Ill try to describe it more another time
I've spent considerable time examining and expor-
ing this curious river, and think I've learnt more
about it than any body that's been up here afore
It's different from all the other rivers that ever
see. IL has no springs or streams running into il
to feed il, but it feeds itself from its own waters
All the centre OF the river is strong current run
ming up stream till il gets to the head Of the river
and then il divides and turns off each way, and
works along down in eddies and currents by each
bank Of the river till it gets the mouth, and then
1t turns round regular into the center current agn
and up il comes.
This shows the reason why any body that hap
pens TO get into the current Of Salt river has TO 90
clear TO the head Of it before he stop. shows
The reason too why any body that sets out TO 90
down with boat or raft, or any thing, has TO
lead 1t along the shore by lire for f it happens
TO get out little TOO far from Shore and get ketched
IN the center current, it's gone goose with it it has
TO go clear back to the head Of the river and take
another start. This, Of course, makes the naviga-
ton Of Salt river, on the passage out, very hard
and difficult
Now, III tell you what advise you by all means
TO do. You Know Congress is in great taking to
pass bill for the improvement Of the navigation Of
lakes and rivers, and they afraid they cant do il
this session because you'll put your Veto upon il.
Now, you Jest strike bargain with em, and tell
'em if they'll put in million Of dollars into the bill
TO improve the navigation of Salt river, and let Gin.