Herald of the times, and Rhode Islander. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1846-1849, 1848-03-02
Sally SIy and Jenny Mekcan.
HUMOROUS REPORT ON BUTTER.

i We copy the following report from the
Farmers Monthly Visitor. There IS good
moral conveyed in II, told with a rich vein of
humor tha, is capital. II is from the pen Of
5. b. Little, of the Mcrimac (N. H. Agri-
cultural Society:
"1he benifcence of the Creator is manifest
in so dispoing our tastes, and so adapting these
to the varieties with which We are surrounded,
as to make life scene of enjoyment instead of
burden 1t might have been that necessary
food would have been nOisOme, as il is some
times to the diseased stomach, had II not pleased
the Creator to have ordered il otherwise.
Bread is the staff of hie, but butter is given to
make it slip down easier and with a better
relish. But it depends something on who
makes the butter whether II answers this pur-
pose. Butter made in Joe Bunkcrs family
needs 10 he eaten in the dark then to make. II
pass well one or two other senses should be
laid aside-while that made BY his brother
Jonathan NAV be eaten in the full blaze ofnoon ;
YOU would wish that your neck was as long
again that you might have the plcasurable SEN
sa,ion ofswalowing prolonged. Perhaps bit
of the history of their better halves will explain
the whole matter. Joes wife was Sally Sly
when a small girl she was sly--she would
not half wash the milk pail aud sly it away and
let it sour. She was sly AT school and did not
half get her lessons but would have her book
in sight when rcciing but as she grew older
she learned that to get well married she must
appear well, and 50 she bent al her cunning
10 ret a superficial education in everything,
from roasting potatoe to playing the piano.
Poor Joe fell in love with her, and'' love has
no ewes so he married her. Bat soon after
she entered on housekeeping, his eyesiglt came
and he saw his iX that II was - for better on
for worse :" aud he thought it was all for
worse. Like true philosopher, he concluded
TO endure what he could not avoid nor cure,
and got along tolcraby well only when he came
to her butter-lor his mother was real butter
maker Every time he saw or tasted OF sally $
butter he felt the horrors. Her manner of
making butter was something as follows she
thinks it of no consequence whether the milk
pail is sweet or sOuT-sCts the milk IN warm
room, because ii is easier than 10 90 in the,
ccer. and if some dirt should blow into the
pans she thinks every man must "cat peck
of dirt, and in no place will it slip down easier.
than in butter--she lets the cream pots be open,
and when she churns iorgcts the poke; leaves
the cream nearly at blood heat that il may come
She picks out the bodies Of all flies and spiders
tho legs aud wings are 50 small they can be
swallowed. She works out half the butter
milk and sets II away IN warm place Tor use.
Poor Joe has seen 50 much butter of this Kind
that he declares butter does not agree with his
health. and will not taste it. Yet his wife won
dcrs why hc does not try II and marvels why
he does not keep a dairy, and make butter
for market.
Jonathan was Younger brother of Joe, and
he had occasion TO eat al his brothers enough
to know why he could not eat butter aud he /
declared he never would marry without know
ng what his bread would be buttcrcd with.
Following the bent of his fancy, he made Sc
ycral attempts at matrlmonv, and Julia jumper
almost caught him, for there was always good
butter ON the table at tea, but he was dctcrmIn-
ed to know who made II. On inquiry. She
SAYS, " la me, mother makes the butter /
take lessons on the piano. ell, says
Jonathan, " want a wife that takes lessons
ON the churn--l shall look further Ai'cr|
several unsuccessful attempts. and just ready
10 despair, he started IN pursuit Of stray cattle,
before breakfast, aud wandered across the forest
into the corner of the next town, aud weary
and hungry called AT a decent looking house and
asked for some rctreshmcnt. winch was most
cordially granted. for the family. were what
were called Scotch-lrisl--in religion Prcsbyic-
rlan. and IN hospitality huuudlcss.
Here hc found the butter exactly right
though the weather was hot the butter kept
It's shape as well as bccswaN. lie catcchlsod
the old lady about her houscWllry-ior the !
bread was as right as the butter. The old lady
said her health was iccblc--shc could do but
little. and Jenny had the whole management. I
He made some round about inquiries conccrn-
ING Jenny. and learned she was a hearty, black
haired, back-cycd lass of about two and twcn-
tv: had never seen piano nor attended ball
but knew the Asscmbys $ catcchlsm could
sing old Hundred 10 charm-spn flax and
darn stockings. and was then gone To town with
butter. He fingered. but she was delayed.
and when iscNcusps for STAYING were all ca
hiuSicd he started. lie could not get th1 good
butter out of ms mind, and how 1t happened |
know not, he soon found his way there again,
and the result of his adventure was he made a
wife Of Jane Mexican And now one lump
of his butter is worth more then all Joe would
make namonh. There no trouble IN going
to markct-,h, keepers of gcntecl boarding
houses IN the nclghboring village send and tahc
It At the highest market price.
Now the main difference IN these two women
arises from the manner Oi training, though
there il no difference IN natural dispositions. 'ld
Madam ~ n-ycr looked on 70 81" thl, sally