The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1848-02-17
DAVENPORT, SCOTT THURSDAY IL le4s


.@ NEW DEFINITIONS.
The following sss extracted BY Douglas
Jerrold's Weekly paper, from new publ.
cation. They ass original and quite sug-
gestivc:--
LangsaGe.-A chain to unto men and
keep mankind disunitsd. A large issue Of
notes which be- oflsu . small basic Of Vold
1heatrs.--An homeopathic hospital
where small doses Of society arc given 10
cure society. The chamber wherein bach
elors receive curtsin-lectures.
Mirror.-A journal 10 which Time re-
cords his travels.
Child.-Thc ever renewed hope Of tho
world. Gods problem, mans solution.
Miser.--An amateur paupcr. A lover
who 10 contentsd with look.
Ignorance. serpent which many fos.
ter because they suppose il harmless. A
dark place where poor people are allowed
to gropc about ill they hurt themselves or
somebody o;se.
Shop ate interest disguised 40 pub.
lie utility. A prison for himself, built by
man Of tho materials be deals in.
PopTr.--A receiver Of stolen goods.
Polnics.--A national humming top,
which spins the lcast when il huns tho
most.
Priso,.--The grave where State Doc
tors bury their murdered patients.
N0polc0n.-A naughty hoy who was put
in corner because DO wanted tho world
to play with.
CiDili-at;os.-Mankind's struggle up
wards, in which millions arc trampled 10
death that thousands moy mount on their
bodies.
MetdpAysics.-Words 10 stay the appe-
tito till facts are ready.
Death.--A notice served on society for
your trial.
Tares.--Fcathcrs pluckcd from oil birds
to line the nests Of few.
Amcrica.-Young John Bull working
with his cont of.
Slecp.--rhe only thief who benefits you
by robbing you.
Frc.--Tbo only hard working servant
who 10 cheerfully admitted as a friend in
the 1rawing-room.
W0r.--Murtlsr 10 music.
Ball Room.--'rho camp Of modern ama-
IONS.
Tyranny.--Knocking people on their
knees for tho crime Of standing upright.
Tobacco. triple memcmeO m0ri-dust
for the nose, ashes Tor The mouth, and poi.
son for the stomach.
CAarity.--One whom 20 delight to FOL-
low, but dread 10 face.
Lifc.-A compulsory journey over pre-
carious road, on which the more luggsgc
you have the mosc lightly you travel.
Mauiage.-Love brought 10 trial. Co
ing homo BY daylight afser courtship's
masquerade.
Lros.--The bones Of the giant Civilisa-
ton.
Papbvoker.--Thc poor mans banker.
A man who holds your coat whilst you
fight.
Siapc.--A human cpisaPh Of human feel
ings.
Fame.-A glass castle erected by pub
lie opinion for the better 0bsesvation q its
inmates.
City.-A human hive without 10 honey
comb.
Mosey.--The largest stakeholder 10 the
world.
Experience The scars Of our wounds.
Wise.--Botlled fever. A friend who
seldom dies without tosiusing ~ with bis
ghost.
Dcb.-A slice out Of another mans loaf.
Coas.-A check drawn on society BY
your tailor.
Pasper.-Ao animal 20 like man - to
make 10 feel uneasy.
Palacc.--A guilIolinc which cuts OF the
head Of nation from lie body.
Ircland.-The ActDon Of nations, torn
10 pieces by its own dogs.
Saragc--An individual who goes to war
With bis enemies, like heather, and takes
their scalps,--instead Of going TO law with
with them, like . Christian, and tsking
their goods.
Soidier.--A live target, oct up by one
nation for smother 10 shoot Ut.
A CLER0YnAx IN TaounLE.-Some time
ago, the Rev. Alfred Hewlett, Of Ashley,
England, by vay of inducing his psrishion.
ers to becoms tOsaI abssainess, publicly pro-
clama,ed from the pulpit that he would
marry tes.toGslles, chrissen their children,
and inter their dead, free Of charge. lnau-
enced by this declaration, the orator being
. widower, Ia The primo Of life, demure
spins,er, about his own agc, who had for
many months vainly cssayed 10 become
the second Mrs. n. gave 10 her adherence
to the total abstinence principle, and then
claimed ofthe sstonished rector fIl6lment
Of his promise to ssarry kr! The result
/ 4 A..e H.