The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1848-08-19


bright colorcd walls kill the chairs ?
Whose and worse here were twelve in
nocent old arm hairs, with yellow satin bot
toms and backs, murdered in cold blood by
four unfeeling French white stone walls =
But there is n remedy for all things but death.
forthwith procured a now set of chairs ms
yellow as custard, g. snapped my fingers in
triumph at Mrs Sowerby the next time she
came.
But alas what are all the hopes of MANI
Dust, ashes, emptiness, nothing Mrs Sow
erby was not yet satisfied. She thought the
chairs beautiful. But then, my dear friend
said she, after a solemn and appalling pause
= my dear friend, these bright yellow satin
chairs have kaied Me picture .IidmcS.'
Aud they had, as dead as Julius Caesar,
the picture frames looked like old lumber in
the midst Of all my Improvements. There
was no help for it. and away went the pic
lures to Mcssrs. Parker 8. Glover In good
time they came bnck, redeemed, regencrated
and disenthraed." | was so satisfied now
that there was nothing left in my purlor to
he killed, that could hardly sleep that night
so impatient was | 10 see Mrs Sowerby.
That pestilcnt woman, when she came next
day. looked round in evident disappointment
but exclaimed, with great appearance of cor
dality.
well, now declare, it's all perfect; there's
not n haudsomer room in town.
Thank heaven thought IL have commit
ted no more murders. But reckoned with
out my host. | was destined to 90 on muir
deriug in spite of me. The spring was now
coming on, and the weather being mild, the
folding doors had been thrown open between
the front and back parlors. This latter was
furnished with green somewhat faded ]
therefore considered it the sanctunl sancto-
rum Of the establishment. Ii was ony used
on extraordinary occasions, such as Christ
mas and New Years days, when all the fam
lily dincd with me, bringing their little chill
drCn with them TO COrlnandiZc themselves
sick. The room looked very well by itself:
but alas the moment Mrs. Sowerby caught
sight of it, her eye brghtened-fatal omen
'Why, my dear MIR Sohersides, what has
got into your back parlor? 1t used to be so
genteel and smart--why ! believe I'm losing
my eyesight-the green carpet and curtains
look quite yellow thnk-O, see now-the
front pdrlor has kltca The back one
Tie -! Here was another pretty
piece Of business. l must either keep the
door Shut all summer and he roasted, or be
charged with killing whole parlor, carpet,
curtains, chairs, sofas, walls, aud all
1t would be but mere repetition to relate
how this wicked woman again led me on
from one murder to another. First the new
carpet killed the curtains then the new
curtains killed the old satin chairs'-and
see by little and little all my honest old green
furniture went the way of the honest old
yellow.
The spell is broken at last cried !, rub
bling my bands in ecstacy. Neither my front
nor back parlor can commit any more assas-
sinatons Eatcd with the idea, was wait
ing on Mrs. Sowerby to the front door, when
suddenly she stopped short at the foot of the
old fashioned winding staircase, the carpet
of which, confess, was here and there in
tested with that abominntion-a darn. 1t
was moreover rather dinghy and faded.
Your back paror has killed you hail. said
Mrs. Sowerby. And so it had. Coming out
of the spIendor of the former, the latter had
the same effect on the beholder as bad set
olteeth in fl Q face, or an old rusty iron CRATE
in a fine room.
began to be desperate. had been &C
cessory 10 so many cruel murders, that my
conscience became scared and went on, led
by the wiles of this pestIlent woman, to muir
der my way from the ground floor TO the cock
loft, without sparing single soul. Nothing
escaped but the garnet, which having been
for halfa century the depository of all our
broken or banisIIed household goods, resem-
bled ilogarll's picture Of End ofthe World
and defied the arts ofthat mischievouS woman
Mrs Sowerby.
Ny house was now fairly revoIutonized.
or rather reformed after the old French mode
by process of indiscriminate destruction.
| did not, like Alexander, after having thus
conquered one worlds sigh for another to con-
quer. | set down TO enjoy my victory under
the shade of my laureIs. But, alas disap-
pointment ever follows the heels of truiton.
1t is pleasant to dance until we come to pay
the piper. BY the time custom had familiar
lied me to my new glories, and they had be-
come somewhat indifferent bills came pour
ing in by dozens, and ii was Impossible to
kill my duns as had done my old furniture,
except by paying them; mode of destroying
these troublesome vermin not always con-
venent or agreeable. From the period of
housekeeping until now, had
never q single occasion TO put off the pay
meut ola bill | prided myself on always
paving ready money for every thing, and it
was an honest pride. | can hardly express
the modification felt at being now OCCASION
ally under the necessity of giving excuses ia
stead of money | had q miserable inven-
ton of this sort of work of imagination, and
sometimes when more than usually barren,
got into passion. as people often do when
they don't know what else TO do. More than
once found myself turning n corner in n
great hurry, or planting myself before the
window of picture shop, studying It very
atlentively in order not 10 see certain per-
sons, the very sight ofwhom is always pain
ful to people ofnice sensibilly.
Not being hardened 10 such like trades by
long use, l felt rather sore and irritable I'm
der the old regime, it had always been plea
sure to me 10 h, ar a ring at tho door, be-
cause it was signal for an agreeable visitor;
but now it excited disagreeable npprehenv
sions, and sounded like the knell ola dun
In short, grew crusty ana hdgetty ny de-
r..,,- ;,,zoHucb that Mrs SoVerbV often eX-