The daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1848-1851, 1848-06-29
For the Crescent

For the Crescent.
Sketches of the Sidewalks and Levee:
With Glimpses into the Ne,o Orleans Bar (rooms.)
DOCTOR SANGRADO sNIPES. /
We are told that the Northern coleges-medical |
coeges-send forth into this g breathing world y
some thousand odd doctors per annum. And we
might almost continue the quotation and say that
they are not only sent forth into this scoldlng'
money-makng world, but are also
Scarce half made up
And that so lamely and unfashlonably
they do their work very badly sometimes, that's ALL
A thousand doctors! Set itdown at a thousand
| may be it's more = though this is monstrous
thousand doctors young doctors, turned loose like
Samsons foxes with fire brands their tails, carry
ing devastation into the cornelds of the Phlllstnes
! Turned loose, We sav making broad their dlplo-
| mas even as the Pharsees of old made broad their
phyacterics that they might be seen and employed
of men-of men, that is to say men in the sense OF
mankind including women as well for If 1t was not
for the favorable smiles of the gentler SEX perhaps
| all men would turn philosophers, and send physlc
! begging
| Our friend Sangrado Snipes, M. D., was duly
| armed and equipped according to law with
! sheepskn as big as a breakfast table, conched III
Latin which himself could not understand but
which Sc being interpreted, meant that he was
| DoCToR g fifteen to go to work with pill, puke
and powder, and so physc the folks secundum artem
enjoying the right, privilege and especial immunity
of making out his bills to suit the state and cond-
| ton Of his patients purses. DR.. Snipes gradu-
ated.'' He reached the point of rejoicing. and was
! entitled, and, according to the statute, dubbed
Doctor" and straightway, being seized with a
| fit of philanthropy, or something else, packed up
his goods and chattels-his medical books and me-
dcal physc, and his precious box of medical bones,
(faugh and with the remnant of very lean purse,
made tracks to the southwark and westward, and
landed safely and soundly upon the Levee in New
Orleans; in which noted city he tackled up single
intimatng that he death fits, and solicit
ing, according to the usual formula, " share OF
public patronage No thinks hard
thought upon DR.. Snipes two legged, bread
eating, clothes wearing animal like the rest OF us,
or doubts the propriety of his having wherewith
to eat and to drink and wherewithal to be ciothed;
the ''word owes him living" he is pleased to
saw and our Doctor is . bound to have it.
Long time ago there lived i'll distant part of the
world, caHed Germany, one Baron WenZel, a noted
oculist, who made it his business to examine into
peoples peppers and perform certain needu opera
tons thereupon To effect this object he had a
numerous array of weapons in the shape of COUGHING
instruments, formed from iron and steel, which like
"villanous saltpetre," dug from the earth.
| Baron WenZel was famous in his day-he
could see further into folks's eyes than they could
see themselves, and by means of his sharp pointed
| Instruments he could make daylight not exactly
| shine through people, but could make or had made
| it disappear out of them. g do recken, said he
one day while lecturing to whole bevy of young
ocusts in embryo, :" that must have spoiled a
uhole hat full of good eyes before got into the way
of operating to advantage. Experience is every
thing, gentlemen: go forth and do as have done,
and then kindly and as honestly as have to you,
report to me the result of your labors.' He was a
miracle of frankness that Baron Wenzel, and
fear we shall never look upon his like again
f Reader look forth into the open air: seest thou
t yon green tree stretching its giant arms towards
heaven, and clothed with rich verlure. Well, just
such personifcaton of greenness is any one o.
these thousand new born NJ. D.'s with our friend
DIR. Sangrado Snipes among them. Like Baron
Wenzel, he has learn in the school of practice
and experience, and as he can't always say of hs
, physc as Lampedo did
'Pve tried it on dog, so there's no danger!"
he must need essay the Gaenic art upon the doomed
SONS and daughters of men. The Doctor is ever
now in the full tide of experiment." (whethe
successful otherwise is another question: and
anything ails you, you can call him in; he live
0 No -, and will be happy 10 physic you-only,
saw take care and ere you swallow the bolus thinl
of Baron Wenzel and his Sc hat full Of good eyes.
DR. Snpes is really clever, good sort of fellow
e and IN anxious to give him lift He tells M
that every pill he administers is gilded and that hi
''newly invented patent draught' is like old Boni
faces ale, ''as smooth oil and as strong brandy
# Whether like the illustrous patron of Gil Bias
| whose patronymc he bears, he uses " his lance, a
> nv good old Aunt Kitty calls lancet, with happy Ell
feet, cannot say, but, Judging analogicay, lshou
= presume So for he dips deep into the pocket when
s gets good chance Tosee him sitting at his ofiic
e door, n the cool of the morning, some one OF thes
n summer days, you would hardly suppose there wa
any of the ars diabolocus in his composition. He
rather tall in person-wears straps to his trousers
= and glories in pair of big whiskers With his fee
upon the door cheek, coming over the mornln
). Crescent you may him almost any time afte
a breakfast As he puffs away at his cigar, you ma
?, suppose that visions Of ipecacuanha and broke
bones float gingerly across his imagination an
fees in the shape of pleasant S5Os and SOS, seeI
If already, in fancy, to fill the vacant spaces In HI
e pocket-book.
8 1t were vain to seek for the
ii III lurking devil in his sneer
That raised emotions both of hope and fear,
l. and no one would suppose there was terror in h
looks any more than there in the lean Cassiu
o And yet--but why should we
d - a tale unfold whose lghtest word
- Would harrow up thy scul-freeze thy young blood
e Make thy two eyes like stars from their spheres
"a Thy knotted and combined locks to part
And
,s Like quilts upon the frettul porcupine
IL But this eternal blazon musr not be
E. To ears of flesh and blood
I'd Therefore, smoke on, my Doctor, read your pap
IL 'with what appetite you may, and let your an'
j. uxuriate in the prospect of big bills ii not te
e. on YOU Your mistakes have been a mere hpsu
p or can readily be coaked under the charitable We