Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1848-11-18
"You cat too much.o saws he.

know what's anuf an what's too muc
without askin' you, an if you don't leav
off snickerin' I'll spile your face.
He cottened right down and said h
didn't mean any hurt, and asked me if
hadn't better take some gin. / told him
would. So took a purity good horn an
left the shop. - .H
"Arter got out" continued Ethan, g
felt bett9r for a minute or so, but hadn'
gone far afore the gripes took me again, 81
| went into another shop an took som,
more gin, then | set down on the Stat,
House steps and there sot and sot, bu
didn't feel darned mite better. begun
to think was goirl' to kick the bucket ant
then thought of father and mother am old
Spanker-that's fathers hoss-and when
thought that should never see 'em again
| fairly blubbered. But then l happened
to look up and see dozen boys grinnin'
and laughin' at me, tell yer what it riz
my dander--that had got down below nero
rite up again. sprung at 'em like a
wild cat, hollerin' out I'd shake their tarnal
gizzards out out, and the way the little
devils scampered was caution to nobody.
But after the citement of the race was
over, felt wuz again, and couldn't help
a groanin' and screechin' as | went along.
AT last | thought I'd go to the theatre,
but aiore got there the gripes got so strong
that | had to go behind meetin' house and
holler. Arter while got up and went
into shop am cat half dollars worth of
billed isters with four picked cucumbers,
and wound up with glass of brandy. Then
went into the theatre an seed the plays,
but felt so tarnally that l couldn't see any
fun in 'em, for | don't think the listers and
cucumbers dun me any good. | sot down,
laid down, and stood up, but still it went
or grippe, grippe. groaned all the time, an
once in while was obliged to screech
kinder easy. Every body stared at me am
called out-''turn him out !"
once or twice. But at last just as the Mig
ger Orthello was going to put the pillar on
his wiie's face TO smother her, there came
such a twinge through me that l really
thought was burstin' up, am l yelled out
-"Oh dear Oh scissors :" so loud that the
old theatre rung again. Such row you
never seed the nigger dropped the pillcr,
there-his wife, jumped off the bed and
run, while every body in the theatre was
all up in muss, some larfing, some swear
n'. The upshot of it was the perlice car
ried me out of the theatre and told me to
make myself scarce.
Wall, as l didn't feel any better went
10 shop close by, an called for two glas-
ies OF brandy; arter swallerin' it, l went
lum to the tavern. sot down by the
vinder and tried to think felt better, but
was no go that blessed old imagine was
till wallowin' away inside; SO went out
ln' eat quarters worth of listers an a
piece of mince pie. Then l went back an
old The tavern keeper 1 felt kinder sick,
md thought Pd take some Caster lie,
nouthful of cold meat and a strong glass of
vhiskey punch, and then 90 to bed. He
rot the fiXins, which took and went TO
,ed.
But, tell yer what, I had rather a poor
light. Sometimes | was awake groanin'
m when was asleep Pd better bin awake,
or | had such powerful dreams Some
ines ] was skinnin' bear, and then by
ome hocuspocus 'twoud change t'other
ide to, an the tarnal critter would be
kinnin' me.
Then again, I'd dream that was rollin'
ogs with the boys, a Jest as I'd be a shout
n out-''now then here she goes %
'verylhing would get reversed agan-I
vas a log, and the boys were prying me
With their handspikes. Then I'd wake mp
m screek am roar-thcn off to sleep again
to dream that Spanker had run away
With me, or that father was whopping me
II some other plagsy thing till mornin'.
When | got up hadn't any appetite for
and the tavern keeper told fhe
hat if | was gon' to carry on screaming
md groaning as had the hight afore, my
Dom was better than my company.
81 hain't," said MIR. Spike in conclusion,
81 haint bin to Portland since, but if live
O be as old as Methusalem, l shall never
orget that ALFRED Ice Cream.
BLoATED CATTLE.-A friend of ours, who,
~ the way, is person of much observation,
md who withal, has had considerable expe-
fence. lately in the management of neat cat
lie, informs us that last August he noticed
me of his cattle much bloated, evidently in
great agony, and groaning loudly at every
breath. His first movement was to cut off :.