Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1848-07-06
s. Al nj A G. u n D +.

June 80 1915. I'LL
s. Al nj A e u N d T.
Challenging q Jnty An Irish etieer,
not very conversant in Law terms. was LATE
u tried for an alleged assault AstLe Jury
Rero coming 10 be sworn. the Judges ad.
dressing the Major, told him I'll 5t-if shcrc
were any amongst them TO whom he had
any objection that was the time To clal-
lcngc them II thank your lordssIip, I said
the gallant prisoner. abut, with your lord
ships permission, I'll defer that ceremo-
~ gill after my trial, and if thcy don't ac-
quit me, by the piper Of Leinsier 1 II elteti-
teAge every mothers son Of them, and
have EN- out too
/ have always been astonished.n said
Miss Sink, "atsic anxiety young girls
have for 6anr, but never pilied 4 female
more, than when Miss -, Of James.
town, left my school
Seeing her 9 rapt and gazing towards
fhe sky, asked her whatshe was looking
for2
aThat beauzn said she. which is told
Of in Genesis, as being " SET in the clohd,,'
| aciA he'd come down for want TO get
married r
Tintion y exclaimed an Irish ser
gcant to his platoon, :. front face, and tind
to the row. call As many 0, "a as IS
prisint II say, Here r and d many O. We
as in not prisint II say z Absint r
DO you take that2n said gentleman
to a dandy Of known cowardiee who had
been insulted by person splitting in his
face. Take it r exclaimed the kid.
glove sneak, as he drew out his fine white
cambria, and coolly wiped away che stain
why, my dear fellow, don't you see he
has given it To me ~
At Clnrnbuscc, young man Of the
Emerald Isle was sh6tin the head On tie
arrival Of the surgeon of the array, he was
asked BY friend If the wound was dan
gerous, and answered that It was, as he
could see the brains Ali BY my soul,n
replied the son Of the Emerald Isle,
please send a little-to my father, for he
often told me never had any,
g Ali poor thing, it's gone at last"
said fond father TO friend, abiding to
the death Of baby two months old ;f# but
we did all we could for it, and there's no
use repining. 1t was i'll only week, and
during that timexwe had four doctors, who
gave il eight calomel powders; applied one
blister 20 The chest, SIX mustard plasters,
and gave it antirhonial wine, aud other
medicines in abundance Yea the poor
thing died.
Why is the letter d Ike gald in the
minesq Because it is in dirt and mud
Why is dog with broken leg like a
( boy cyphering in arithmetic Because
he puts down three and cSrricsonc
Why is a duel the most speedy Of all
combats2 Because il requires only two.
seconds its performance.
Why is a four quart measure like
side saddlel Because it holds gallon
Why is person on voyage to, Ger
tain city like a man about being married
Because be is going to have her, tHayre.)
An editor at dinner table, being asked
II he would take scrle more pudding, re-
piled Qwing TO crowd eff other mat
ter, l am unable to make room FOR IN
One perscnAsked smother if he believed
in the appearance Of spirits. 1No,n was
tho reply; shut believe in their disap.
pearance; have missed a bottle Of yin
since last night.
4 fellow who had made his fortune b.
buying leather at low price, was asked
if he had ever keenin Africa. He replied
that he had not, although he owed his for
tune TO sudden fall in Morocco
GIIard times and NO must make the
most Of what little We have as the grocer
said when he watered the vinegar.
Why IS 4 dose Of Glouber salts like a
well defended eastle7 Because it is hard
70 take.
Nor ouIrE RIcnr-sWin you be after
tellin' as what's the time, Patrick r. ask
ed Tim Of his friend, the other day
IAN sure I'd do il bat the watch is mos
two days too fast n was the prompt reply
An old lady being late at church, en-
tered as the congregation were rising for
prayer Lap said she, courtesying,
don't rise On my account
Dil'rent mcn-diffT rent opinions.
Some lore spplcs--some love enioas.
What rag your motive for attending
the loco convention2 Why locomotive,
ofcourse
4 dandy remarking ono summer day,
that the weather vas 80 excessively hot,
that uhen be put bis head ina basin Of
waier, Il fairly boiled received for reply