Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1848-07-12
THE ART OF LIVING WITH
OTHERS.

because they ale thrown together now,
thai all their lives have been XaCtIy
similar up TO the present time, that they
started exactly alike, and that they are
" be for the future of The same mind.
A thorough conviction of the difference
of men is the great thing to be ..ssurcd
of ir social knowledge; it is to life
what Newton's law is 10 astronomy.
Sometimes mcn have knowledge of ir
with regard to the world in general:
they do not expect the outer world to
agree with them in all points but are
vexed at mol being able to drive their
own tastes and opinions into those they
live with. Diversities distress them.
They will not see that there are many
forms Of virtue and wisdom. YET we
might as well say, Why all these
stars; why this difference; wing not all
one star
Many Of the rules for people living
together in peace follow from. The above.
For instance, not 10 interfere unreason-
ably with others, not to ridicuIe their
tastes, not to question and re-ques,ion
their resolves, not to indulge in pefpetu-
al comment on their proceedings, and
to delight in their having other pursuits
than ours, are all based upon thorough
perception OF the simple fact that they
are not we.
Another rule for living happily with
others is, to avoid having stock subjects
of disputalion. it mostly happens when
people live much together that they
come 10 have certain set topics, round
which, from frequent dispute, there is
such growth of angry words, mortified
vanity, and the like. lha, the original
subject of difference becomes standing
sub bjrci for quarrel; and there is a ten>
dency in all minor disputes TO drift down
TO il.
Again, il people wish TO live we'll
together they must no. hold too much
TO logic, and suppose that everything is
10 be settled by sufficient reason. Dr.
Is Is clear with regard 20
ed would be the pair above all names Of
wretchedness, who should be doomed
10 adjust By reason every morning, ali
tho minute detail of domestic day.n
But the application should ba much
more general than he made ii. There
is no time for such reasonings, and
nothing that is worth them: And when
We recollccl how two lawyers, or two
politicians, can SO on conlending, and
that there is no end Of one-side reason
ing on any subject, we shall not be sure
that anch contention is the best mode
for arriving al truth; but certainly j, is
nor the way TO arrive good temper.
II you would be loved as a compa-
ninr, avoid unnecessary criticism upon
those with whom you live. The num-
Der of people who have taken out
judges patents for themselves is very
large in any socirIy. Now, it would be
hard for man 10 live with another who
was always crilIcisins his aclIous, even
if it were kindly aud jus, criticism. 1t
would be like living between the glasses
If horoscope. But these self elected
JUICES, like their prototypes, are very apt
TO have The persons the judge brought
before them in the guise Of culprits.
One Of the most provoking forms of
the criticism above alluded 10, is that
which may be called criticism over tho
shoulder. Had l been consulled'-
I" Had YOU listened to me''-" But you
always wili'-and such short scraps of
may remind many of US of
dissertations we have suffered and in
flicted, and of which we cannot call to
mind any soothing effect.
Another rule is, not to let familiarity
swallow up all courtesy. Many Of US
have habit of saying to those with
whom we live such things as we say
about strangers behind their backs.
There is no place, however, where real
politeness is of more value than where
we mostly think it would be superhuous.
You may say much truth, or rather
speak out more plainly, 10 your associ>
ates, but not less courlcously than you
10 to strangers.
Again, we must no, expect more from
he society of our friends and compa-
Mons than il can give and especially
must not except contrary things. 1t is
somewhat arrogant to talk of travelling
over other minds (mind being, for what
we know, infiui,e,) but still we become
familiar with the upper views, tastes
and tempers Of our associates; and tits
hardly in man to estimate justly what is
familiar to him. In travelling along at
night,as aazlitt. says we catch glimpse
INTO cheerlul>looking rooms, with light
blazing in them, and we conclude, in
voluntarily, how happy the inmates
must be. Yet there is heaven and hell +,
IN those rooms, the same heaven and
nell we have known in olhefs.--Fricuds
IN Council