Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1848-01-27
Doriietn.
A SPEECH TO ROYALTY.

At time when James II. was making a tourI
through England TO receive the homage orhis
subjects, tho mayor aud corporation of n small
Town, through which he passed, were depuled
TO compliment him on his arrival. As theI
mayor was noted for the most impenetrablel
thickness of the skull, the recorder undertook
to prompt him in his speech.
When they arrived in the royal presence, the
recorder, observing the bashtuI and sheepish
appearance of bis lordship The mayor, whisper
eI to him:
Hold upyour headi look like man."
Inc unfortunate mayor, half dead with ear,
supposed this to be the beginning of his speech, |
ana Dawlcd out TO his majesty the king:
Hold up your deadlock like a mani"
The recorder Immediately rcioined
What do you meanl-as live you will ru.
In us ALL"
What do you mean!-as live you will ru.
IN us a'l!' repeated the official spcochier.
Oh! you stupid blockhcad-i wish YOU had
never come here" said the terrified aud lrrtaed
promptcr.
Tho mayor, MS in duty bound Immediately
echoed to the amazed monarch:
oh! YOU stupid blockhcad--I wish YOU had
never como here /"
The recorder instantly took TO his heels. fol.
lowed by tho uckcss mayor, leaving the king
aud his courlicr5 in a couvusion orlGuph,er.
Novel CHuUYIYG. We cut tho following
homan exchange paper:
-. Sarah, dcar; sad waggsh husband to his
wIIe, eli wore in your place wouldn't keen
that child 50 full of butter a. you do"
Bu'Ier' my dear Why, | never give it
my butter"
NO. ba' You poured about quart Of milk
down Il this afternoon, aud then lrootted it on
your knee for nearly Two hours. fil does mt
contain quantity OF butter by this lime, il cuur
bI Tor want Of churning."
W young lady, scarcely seventeen years
oi uge, commIted suicide in ST. Louis Il few
weeks ago, because her lulher prevented her
from adopting the stage for profession.
"SoMEBoDY. Y."--Somebody thinks that the
Sons OF temperance should try aud reform the
money market, because it has such II habit of
gcung hght' What funny fellow thar Some
body isl
U. s. SENAroR.-lIoD. WymOn B. s. Moor
has been appointed by tho Governor Of Maine
10 supply tho vacancy occasloncd by the death
OF Mr. Fairfield, until tho Legislature shall
elect.
O7' There is man in Philadelphia who nov.
er reads paper. Passing along Market street
INC olher day, he noticed the telegraph poles
ana wires, aud exclaimed, What pity these
hno houses have no back yard. They have to
dry their clothes IN the street,
or To remove dust from tho cyc immcrse
the effected eye in a vessel of clear cold water,
and then rapidly open aud shut ii ow times
when The dust will bo washed away.
EMIGaATED.--I is said that no less than 2 800
Norwoglans have emigrated to tho Sato OF
OHIO. When !
a NAME.--A yankee upon meeting dutch
man, exclaimed, "Well stranger, for acquain-
iance sake what is your namel" "Vy my
nalno lsh Hans acknowledgement
Itt1nwenegraItJnwo enscincr!
al swow!" ejaculaled tho Yunkoo, and then
slOped.
TALL.-Thcre are trees in Missouri so tall
that il takes two men and u boy To look to the
top Of them--one looks lilI no gets tired, and
another commences where he left OIL This
was told for e recollect.
0r"My dear Clarrssn, | am surprised a
your taste in wearing another woman's hair OF
your head, J" said man to his wife. "My dea
William, | am equally astonished that you per
sisI y wearing another shsep's wool on you
backl"
or Prentice says: "A Mr.. Reemen, 10
eoIoco in the Ohio Senate, recently presented
petition 20 iha. body asking that Mr.. Corwin b,
sent 10 the PenIenIary. Any decent right feel
ing man would rather be Tom Corwin in tht
PeniIenIiary than Reenelin in tho Ohio Sen
Ale."
GAtLASTRY.-There is place in N. HSmp
shire where they never have any old maids.--
When girl reaches lwonty-nne years, and i
still on the ladder of expectation, the young fol
lows club together and draw lois for her. Thos
who escape pay bonus 10 the ono who get
Der. There's gallanlry for you.