Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1848-04-04
From the St. Louis Reveille.
MRS. SCRUGGINS ON COWS,

! mas Oeen quite unWeH ever since New
Years day. She caught an ''orful'' cold
on that day, while sitting in the front
.parlor. 1t is whispered that she is rheu-
matte, but she stoutly denies it. When
the fas man with the green spectacles is
within hearing, she boasts loudly Of her
activity. Her private opinion ofthe stout
sPectacles is highly complimentary. Spec.
tacles is q nice young man, ''ouly little
Wild" Spectacies does own to forty
years and slight rheumatism, and peo-
pie say-but never mind what pc ople
say. Mrs. Scruggins has had great ex-
perience in housekeeping, and in the
matter of keeping cows she is learned as
a pundit. Hear her!
"We used to keep COW when we
lived in Cincinnater," Mister Revei!le,
sand SIGH good cowi She used to come
up as regular to her milk as clock work.
Shed knock at the gate with her horns,
jest as sensible Her name vas Rose.
Inever know'd how she got the name.
for she was as black as a kittle One
day Rose got sick. and wouldn't eat, poor
thing, and day or two after she died |
do b'lieve ] cried when she was gone.
Well, we went little while without
COW, but told Mr.. S. it wouldn't do, no
how--we mast have another, and he gin
in. Whenever said must Mr.. S. kne W
that meant it. Well, few days after
he came home from market with the
finest COW and young calf l ever. seed.
He gave thirty dollars for her and the
calf, and two levies to a man to help bring
her home. They drove her into the back
yard, and Mr.. S. told me to come out and
see her, and | did went up to her Jest
as | used to do to Rose, and when | said
poor Sukey, the nasty brute, would you
b'lieve it, she kicked me! Her foo, caught
in my dress, bran span new one, which
cost two levies yard, and she took a
levies worth right out of it, and then
how wicked she shuck her head at me.
| screecked right out. Mr. S. jumped
and caught me jest as was dropping
wasn't quite as heavy then--and he
carried me to the door, and went in
and sot down. felt faintish, l was so
abominably skeered. Mr.. s. said he'd
learn her some manners, so he picked up
the poker and went out, but had'n hardly
begun to get little strengthened up a.
fore in rushed my dear husband, flourish
in the poker at that vicious COW, with her
head down and tail up, was running at
him like mad. Mr.. S. jumped into the
room, but before he had time to turn
round and shut the door that desp'rate
COW was in, too. Mr.. S. got up on the
dining table and run into the parlor. |
thought I'd be safe there, but was skeer-
ed so bad that forgot to shut the door,
and would you b'lieve it, after hooking
over the dining table, and rolin' ,Ir. s.
off, in she walked into the parlor, shaking
her head jest as much as to say I'll give
you fetch now. -
Il jumped on chair, but thinkin' that
not high enough got one foot on top of
the large brass knob on the Franklin
stove, and put the other on the mantle
piece. | was safe there-she couldn't
reach me. You ought TO have seed that
COW in the parlor-she looked around as if
she was 'maZed. A last she looked in the
large mirror and saw another COW, as
she thought, exhibitin' passion like herself.
She shuck her head and paved the carpet,
and of course so did her reflection, and
would you b'lieve it, the orful brute went
right into my mirror-.the big new one
| had only had two months. boo. hoo d
rite out. / s'pose she thought her she
heered her calf, for she tried to get out.
and in going round the room she poked
her head in MIR. SIS book case-no doubt
she smelt the calf skin covers. All this
time was Citing agonized. The brass
mob on the stove got so hot that | had to
sit down on the narrow lnantel piece and
hold on to nothin'. dassint move for
fear I'd slip off. Mr.. s. went round to
the front door but it was locked, and he
then cane to the the window and opened
it. Jumped down and ran for the window
and had'nt more than got my head out
afore | heard her coming after me. Ora.
cious. but was in hurry! 'More haste
less speed, always, for the more tried
to climb quick, the longer it took me land
would you b'lieve it, just as got ready
to jump down that brute of a cow caught
me behind and turned me clear over and
over out of the winder. Well, dear, when
l got right side up. as they put on lookin'
glass boxes, looked up at the wiuder and
there stood that cow, with her head Jest
between the red and white curtins, and
with another piece of my dress danglin'
on her horns. Husband and me was
1 Jest startin' for the little alley that run
along side Of the house. when that cow
glva, bawl, and out of the winder she
came. Whiskin' her tail about, it caught
fire in the Franklin stove, and it served
her right. Mr.. s. and me run into the
alley in sncha hurry that we got wedged
fast. Husband tried TO get ahead. but