davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

Physician.-I have not the slightest idea
what is the matter with you. ! can allri-
butte your symptoms to no real disease
whatever. will write you prescription,
and you are to take the mixture which !
shall order for you, night and morning.
Patient.-But what will be the use of
your prescriptions ......
Physician.-No one whatever beyond this,
that you will perhaps fancy that it has done
you good. However, if ! were TO order you
no medicine, fear you would consult some
body else; and though you might do with
out my physc, | could not do without your
guineas.
Patient-l think | had better have fur
Their advice. | am afraid you don't under
stand my complaint at all.
Physician.-WelI, sir, good morning.
should be very sorry, indeed if SO good
patient as you are were to place himself in
the hands of any other practitioner.
Patient.-l wish knew what 10 make of
you. ] don't know whether you are laugh
ing at me or not. am half-inclined to
think you are respectable man, and half
disposed to consider you humbug.
Home Journal
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

warm border, as directed for Celery, and
sow radish seed, as the early frame, short
top and salmon.
!Spinach-The prickly-seeded spinach
may be grown as directed for celery, if sown
the latter part Of the month, or SO soon as
the frost shall be out of the ground of the
border.
Letluce.-This vegetable may also be
similarly grown.
Early Peas.-Prepare a dry and well
situated plot of ground in your garden, by
manuring, digging, and raking, and sow early
peas. This is hardy vegetable, and will
stand a good deal of frosty weather; there
fore, you may plant as soon as the frost is
out of the ground and it can be put in good
order, say about the latter part of the month.
We have had them withstand heavy snow.
Parsley tSeed.-This may be sown any
time this month when the border can be
prepared for its reception.
Gooseberries, Rasp5erries, Currents, and
Grape zines, should be pruned this month,
the sooner the last named is pruned the bet
ter. The cuttings from the Gooseberies
and Currants may be planted on. at any
time when the frost is out Of the ground.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

her easy nature. 1t seems to be good, no.
nest nose, but very hideous one.
"A nose every way very big, very long,
and with wide nostrils, denotes person
more weak than INSTALLATIONS, subtle,
contentious, luxurious, vain-glorious, envi-
'us and imper,inently curious.' Whenev-
n we meet this nose, we shall hardly refrain
from giving it tweak.
"a nose conveniently big, and reasonably
straight, denotes a person peaceful, meek,
aithful, laborious, diligent, secret, and of
good intellect. Oh happy nose! Mayest
hou continually inhale the scent of roses
And may we, no long time hence, find such
a nose on a fair lady's face!
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24
HOR TICU T u r E
From the American Farmer.
WORK IN THE GARDEN FOR FEBRUARY

From the American Farmer
WORK IN THE GARDEN FOR FEBRUARY.
There is not much to be done in open
culture in the garden, except in latitudes
south of US, but still as something may be
done, however little, we will point it out, in
order that that little may not remain undone
because of our negligence to call attention
to it. In gardens provided with hot-beds,
as all gardens should be,-much may be
done this month, as the groundwork may
be laid, in such conveniences, for the pro-
duclion of early vegetables of almost every
kind. We have said that every garden
should have its hot-beds, and surely no one
will gainsay our assertion, when we tell him
that hot-bed, which would last for years,
could be made for two or three dollars that
would be big enough to supply a family Of
twenty or thirty persons with plants to
grow dozen kinds of vegetables. The
plan of forming such hot-bed, we gave in
our last number, and to which we beg leave
to refer our lady readers, and at the same
time to ask them, to insist upon their llege
lords providing them with at least one of
these necessary appendages to every garden.
With hot bed, three feet by twelve, plants
may be grown that will ensure supply of
early cabbages, lettuce, cucumbers, melons,
cymblins, radishes, spinach, beans, bee,s,
parsnips, carrots, tomatoes, egg plants, sc.
that would be fully six weeks earlier than
any which could be grown in open culture;
and surely no man, with his heart in the
right place, would hesitate moment, as to
what was his duty, when, for so inconsde-
rable sum, he can secure to his family COM
forts and necessaries so essential and health
full.
But as we may not be gratifed in our de-
sire to see plants raised in hot-beds, we will
designate what may be done in open culture
Soacimg Celery Seed-Select place on
a warm border, facing the South, manure II
freely with stable manure, then dig the ma.
nure in spade in depth, rake until every
clod is reduced to fine filth, then put or
an inch Of rotten dung, rake that in, Their
SOW your celery seed, rake it in lightly, anc
finish by patting the earth down on the seet
with the back of spade or shovel A very
few feet of such border, will give vol
plants enough to supply your family with
early celery.
So,cing Radish Seed.-Towards the lat
ter part of this month prepare part of !;
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

INVALUABLE REMEDIEs.-An Exchange
says: We have no faith in quack remedies,
but think it always the safest plan 10 apply
to regular physician, in all cases of ids
position. Here are some remedies, howev-
er, for very prevalent disorders, that we have
no hesitation in recommending as quite in
fallible. Try them:
For sea sickness stay at home.
For drunkenness-drink cold water.
For health-rise early.
For accident-keep out of danger.
To keep out of jail-pay your debts.
To please all-mind your business.
To make money-adver'ise.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

continually crying, and box on the ear
only makes them yell the louder,-and my
wife joins in the concert. The best OF chill
dren are only less noisy and mischievous
than the ordinary run. But all OF them are
subject to tee'hing, hoopingcough, and mea-
sizes, which render their existence misery
to themselves, and burden to all around
them, except 10 their mothers and nurses,
who, really believe, like the trouble which
they thus occasion. But their wretched
complaints, sir, are not only troublesome, but
expensive. ! am never without doctor in
the house. Whilst was single man, sir,
never knew what medical attendance was.
But women and children are always ailing.
N ct only are my butchers, bakers, grocer's,
and other bills augmented, but their number
is increased by DOCTORS bill-wi,h nothing
to show for it. And when was married,
sir, found out, for the first time, what Ia.es
and taxes are
''Between ourselves, sir,-I don't mind
telling you got about two hundred year
with Mrs. Crosby. But my additional ex-
pendi,ure so far exceeds that sum that am
obliged to deny myself many enjoyments.
have given up my daily pint of wine, and
no longer smoke. Thus, sir, has ma,rmo-
ny not only not increased my comforts, but
has deprived me Of those that | already
possessed. Instead of being able to take my
stroll, to see the sights and learn the news of
the day, now find myself, resolving myself
as go, into committee Of ways and means.
Sir, this worry-this ceaseless wear and tear
of the brain-deprives walk of its legti-
mate and constitutional character. Sir, de-
pend upon it, and that it is mistake to mar
ny for comforts, ! find myself obliged TO
resign my own and consult those of others.
A single man, sir, has only himself to take
care Of; married one has to take care of his
wife and family. made what everybody
considered prudent match. Sir, there are
no such things as prudent matches. am
as miserable, sir, as | could have been if
had married for love. So do you remain
single, sir, if you have regard for Number
One, for in ma'rimony you will have to care
for Number Two"
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

How TO GET INTO TRoUBLE.-Always
keep sharp look out after your neighbours
concerns; knowledge, you know, is pow
er.
Get upon parish committees; if party
question, never mind which side you take
it will show your impartaity besides 1t
will let you into the secrets of each.
Always speak your mind boldly-no mat
ter where, or who hears you.
Do not refuse 10 be bail for poor Bob; it
is only trfe.
Take an active part in a popular cleo
ton.
If all these do not succeed, 60 to law !!
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

"GApEs" IN CHIcKENs.-A correspon-
dent informs us that few drops OF any
kind of liquor carefully administered, will
ef1ectually cure chicken Of the "gapes,"
disease which annually carries offihousands
of the tribe while in state of infancy. tie
saws he has tried it in numerous cases, and
never knew it to fail in single one. 1t is
a very simple remedy, and we have no doubt
that as soon as it becomes extensively known
teto,allers will avail themselves of its adj
vantage, by sleeping a little on hand for
fowls" We only hope it may have the ell
feet to reduce the market price set upon the
heads Of those whose lives it is intended to
protect.-Dalon Eagle. .....
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

MlNcE PIEs.-Take stoned raisins, cur
rants, sugar, and suet, of each two pounds;
Sutana raisins, boiled beef, lean and ten
der,) of each one pound sour or tart apples
four pounds; the juice of two lemons; the
rind of one lemon chopped very fine; mix
ed spice one-quarter of pound; candied
citron and lemon peel. Of each, two ounces;
brandy one gill; and chop the whole very
fine. The preparation may be varied by
adding other spice or favoring. and the adj
di.ion of eggs, or the substitution of chop
ped fowl OF veal, for beef, according to fam
CIV or convenience.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24
SPECIMENS OF PLAIN ENGLISH.
The moralist sometimes inquiries how ii

The moraist sometimes inquiries how it
speak exactly as they think. That question
we do not pretend to answer; but we be-
lieve that if some people spoke precisely as
they thought, we should hear, occasionally,
such dialogues as the following:
THE LOVER.
Youth.-The time dearest, has now ar
rived, at which | feel that we should no
longer delay our union. One only doubt,
sweet girl, prevents me from proposing tina,
our marriage should instantly take place
NV doubt, fairest creature, is simply how
much your papa ill really leave you at his
death.
.Maiden.-I always feared that you did
not love me for myself alone, and now see
clearly that you only want me for my mo-
ney, you selfish fellow.
Youth.-No love, not exactly so. don't
seek to marry you merely for your money;
but should not like to marry you without
your money. hope what have said has
not offended you, sweetest?
.Maiden-.Ye s it has; and | do not think,
now, that we are made for one another, so
we had better break our engagement of.
Youth-I am grieved to hear you say so;
for certainly like you good deal, and
should your.papa, one Of these days, leave
YOU what he said he would, shall deeply
regret that did not make you mine.
.Naiden-Now 90 away Instantly, and
never let me see your face again.
Youth-Well suppose that is the best
thing | can do. | hope you will return all
my presents.
.Naiden-I will, since shall otherwise
be thought mean; but, | would very much
rather keep them.
DRAPER AND CUSTOMER.
Customer.-What is the price of this mus
lin dress?
Draper.-Fourteen-a nd-six, Mem. am
afraid you think you could get 1t at other
houses at thirteen-and-two, and have
strong suspicion that It's only worth twelve
Customer.-l shall see if | can get il
cheaper at another shop; and if not, shall
come back to this and do my best 10 bate
you down.
Draper.-I hope they will endeavor &c
cheat you at the other establishment, Mem
and not succeed, and that you will return
for the article to us.
Customer-l am in hopes that the peo'
ple at the other shop are bankrupts, and sell
ing off at loss.
Draper-My object is to get as much a:
can for my goods.
Customer.-I want to get as much as
can for my money.
Draper OF course, Mem. ] am anxious
to make all the profit by you that can.
PHYSICIAN AND PATIENT.
Patient-Doctor, am ill all over.
; have swimming in the head, sinking il
the stomach, an oppression at the chest,
numbness in the limbs, and creeping from
, head 10 foot.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
By e. WELLS, JR.
EDITOR AND PROPRIE TOR.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
For one year, if paid within six months, 81 SO
IS 8" if not paid within six months, 90
ADvERTrssMENTs.-Sl per square for three lnser-
tions-l2 lines Of small type IA of large type
constitute square-25 cents for every subsequent
insertion. If the number of insertions be not
anarked on the advertisement it will be published
until forbid, and charged accordingly. A liberal
deduction made to those who advertise by the
year.
Communications addressed to this office must be
post paid.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24
P O E T r Y .
THE ERRING.

THE ERRING.
BY AMANDA WESTON.
Look on thy erring brother!
Pass him not coldly by
But let the kindness Of thy heart
Beam from the speaking eye.
He has wandered from the narrow path,
And the world is proud and cold -
Wouldst thou gently lead the wanderer
Back to the Shepherds fold
Glide him not for his errros;-
He knows that he has err'd,
And his heart has oft been hardened
By the stern reproving word.
He has borne reproach in silence,
And answered scorn with scorn,
As he would have the whirlwind,
Or the fierce wintry storm.
What though his brow is darkened,
And his heart seems stern and proud,
And his eye CLEANS in defiance
When he meets thee in the crowd,
Is he not still thy brother!
Offer him brothers hand,
And see if he will not grasp it,
And its meaning understand.
Speak to him as brother,
Calmly, but tender]y,-
He will listen to thy counsel,
He will turn and follow thee;
And it may be, through life's trials,
Its sorrows and fears,
His hand will gently guide thee
Onward, in after years.
Look on thy erring brother.
Pass him not coldly by,
But let the kindness of the heart
Beam from the speaking eye.
He has wandered from the narrow path,
And the world is proud and cold;
Be it thine to lead the wanderer
Back to the Shepherds fold.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

Twenty six acres of Tobacco were sue
cessfully cultivated last year by farmer
near Springfield. Mass.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

10 Miss -, MINE VALENTINE.
Dis mornin' when first did rise,
And rub de sleep from mine two eyes,
lites mine bipe, and off did start
TO town, in fader's leetle cart;
When on de road, widout design,
WE MET; and you's mine VALEN MINE:
So take dis baper, cut in hearts,
All bierced mid lust as MANY -.larie---~-=z-'z-e
To let you know how much l loves.
Now charmer, do not cruel be,
And pout and turn away from me,
~ T,u and ua., and, .aiahe -as,.sff I....s~~--
What Strikes De hour just like de clocks,
And more good tings-some Of dem sweet,
Dan you in one whole week can eat.
Erie County, Pa, Feb. IA, lS46.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-02-24

A DUTcHMAN's VALENTINE.-A cores
pondent of the Maryland Republican says
that the following lines, which he sen, to
that journal for publication were copied
from Valentine presented at the time of
their date to the daughter Of farmer by a
young Dulchman, whose father was neigh
Dor of the former. The parties were all
plain, industrious, clever people, The
young man could write very we'll III German,
a language with which the girl was not &C
quained therefore to make himself under
stood, he had to levy on his slender stock of
English:
The Arkansas banner., 1848-10-10
RECIPRnClL.

Woodruff paper takes especial pains to puff the Van Bnren Intefi9eneer, and in the next number of Clarks paper forth comes. an eulOgy of the De- m0crat. This game has been played so long, and kept up so we that ''tickle me and Tn tickle you', has, al last become source of derison. Thu Intel lgencer talks of the veteran editor of the Democrat the able fresd of his party and his cOadator not to be ou'dene, prates of Clark's honesty and iode pendence, of the efforts made to bribe and bully hirn,-ef the advantages preferred him if he would support Col. Sevief, and the patronage he mieh, lose by not doing so; and other dire temptations and trials 10 which he was subjected and resisted. What the Democrat says may be very true. although we cannot tell who would have offered the Inteiligcn. cer hribe. But, one thing is certain, if Col. sevier has office or patronage promise instead of go1sg iP to the Ints,iigencer, he could find aa accommodating customer by going dosen to the Democrat One seems to be little below. ,b e other slightly aboye--suspieion.
The Arkansas banner., 1848-10-10
aThoss enestiops."

The Democrat has propOunded several questions to us. relative to our obligations respecting the ownership The Banner. We answered him in a manner. which we suppose would have satisfied him, but he continues his insidious attacks with desire to reflect some odium upon us, to intimate subservienry upon our part 10 some one, he does not exactly know who. We will answer the editor briefly. We possess 1t upon tine same terms which former editors of the Banner haye and edit as in- dependeniy of any thing further than our own ~iil, as ever did our predecessors Major Borland and Col Rutherford But suppose that we were governed by the dictation of the prominent demo- crats he names, whose interests personally and po- liticaiiy, are identified with the success of the democratic party, would our paper not be entitled to more confidence, than a press governed by the impalsesof an imbeciIe pimp to men, whose political influence will best pay him, or whose vindic'ive feelings lead him 10 beiray his party, outrage his ffirnds, and cling like spaniel to the hand which has switched him hardest7
The Arkansas banner., 1848-10-10
Proposed Compromise.
We fudi.. Woodrnirs last paper, an article under lhis head from which we extract the following:

We find Woodrnfrs last paper an article under this head from which we extract the following:
 "Major BoRLAND and his friends are, almost daily, beset with the proposition to 'compromise that is to agree to let Col Sevier have seat in the Senate, while he takes the other. To this, Major Boiand has but one reply: The seats in the Senate not at his disposal they belong to the people, through their representatves-and 10 Inc decision of the people, thro' those representatives in the suing Legislature, he has submitted his own preten- sisss, and will chrrrfuiiy abide the resnlt.'
 All we have to say upon this subject is, that Col Sevei stated 10 us in communica'i1n last June. that he was a candidate for the unexpmed porti n of the term 10 which he elected in isl2 and for the full term that succeeds ii That he not and should not be a candidate for Ashley's vacancy. We are authorized 10 say. that is the position in which he then stood, and will continae 10 stand.
 He has never himself. nor has any frend with his authority or knowledge, proposed compromises Maj BIrla nJ. of course, will consult hs own feel ipgs and for either place. Col Sevier thus es- tabiishes hs position regardless of what conrse his opponents may determine upon or feel it their inter est 10 pursue.
The Arkansas banner., 1848-10-10
The Buaa,o Hunt,

Who knows but that General Taylor is going 10 head the great "Butiao Hunt" which the wings say is designed 10 take place in the Northern States of Mexco' For Gen. Taylor in his priyste letter 10 Gen Gaines, said
 "h seems 10 me, Aemast judcioas course 10 6e pur. sued payt, inoad bc 10 fafe passss9a at oaee ofthe iins roid aceepi by negoiltion, extending from Ike Gulf ef Mefifo othe Paeiic. and occapg fae sle, or tesp Tsat airesag hgpe gosessroa 0 and fha' of Iampieo, (which hope to in the course Of the month or as as can get the means of transportation, ieh ,e g,Ue us al oa tAis sife Of fhf SierFd Madre, and as as occupy Saiiillo, eaf incIaff SIX OR SEVEN STATES OR PROVINCES thus holding Tamp'co. Victoria, SaiiiIlo, Moueioya, (which presume General Wool has possession by this time santa fe and Californa---and say to Mexico, "Drve from the counirym,--thre wing on her the responsibility and expense, of carrying Gn offensive wat; and the same time closely block adiug all her ports on the Pacific andthe Gulf"
The Arkansas banner., 1848-10-10
The Old Quiz.

The disgusting hypocrisy of the Democrat in flying the names of Cass and Bntler at its uust- have noticed the consst'ncg of the sly old pat iot
 We have heretofore alluded to the coptemp,ble mockery of the editor in pretending to support the democratic nominees, by printing their names in capitals, while his column furnish no evidence of his desire. fo- their success. We merely alude to this subject again, for the purpose of hearing the old gentlemen repeat that jest about his devotion 10 priaepes, and especially do we long to hear him tell about his independence, and that he will not be the tool of any man or any party. We must hear him say tt over once more--it is rich joke, and will drive the dust from his lungs this dry weather.
The Arkansas banner., 1848-10-10
The Mob at t,iucinua,i.

A correspondent of the Chronicle, alludinp to the late iasai and sangainsy riot at Cincinnati growing out ol an alleged outrage upon little German gii by two returned volunteers says: e"'
 sARd now, Mr Editor. what do vou ,h;.., q. [, mob has resolved itself intoi A meiancha,v ys, splendid hnmbag The little girl was not only m. m"iested, but the poor soldiers were altogether ,. noeent themselves. They were indicted heea.ss the aveficions and almost brutal father of the girl hoI ca to get some money in the shape of land war. arrest, has fled the city, and the tide of public f.si ing is settling against him tn favor of inc prisoners Mns. world ss live in and what a being of con. tempt sas sssfsi.y ;s man.