Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1848-05-02
"ShOW -Four Ticket" :
3 / AJRAILROAD SKETCH.
BY SOLITAIRE.

On night trip, recently, a testy old
ianKee was one OF the passengers, and
having exhibited bis ticket to the first
conductor, he carefully placed it in a
well-worn pocket hook, buttOned it I'D in
the breast pocket ofhis coat, pulled his
hat tightly on his head. and, folding his
arms, resigned himself to the care of
Morpheus. HIS nasal organ had scarce.
" proclaimed him in dream Land, before
another conductor came along with
"Show your tickets!" The old Yankee
Swoke with a snort, and having been
made conscious what was wanted. he ar -.
claimed a -..
~ reckon.yOu don't want tew be seeiu
all the time, dew your r. ..-I
"Once vii! do me, sir" says the con.
duc.or. ~ So"'
well, you have seen it that offin," re-.
piled the Old gent. $50 YOU kin Dass IN ;,
Inc conductor insisted upon looking at
IT, ana the disturbed passenger unbut,oned
MS coat unStrapPed The ond pocket book.
handed out the ticket, and the conductor
passed by. Is
Them fellers air nifty afsared of get.
s!n chiSseled," says he, as, placing his
ticket i" his vest pocket, he again resign.
ed himseIfto sleep.
The conductor thinking ne had missed
some % IN" passengers, Ca ne back again
presently and asked to see the tickets.
what, agin!" exclaims the old man:
well swow, you are the most peskid
bother I've ever seed. Jest take a
good look now, and have DONE"
The conductor passed Ou again, and
the old man stuck his ticket in hi. hat
band, and this time got fairly asleep.
ne m't'on OF the cars ia a short time
looSened his hat. aud it tell off, which
sleePissS vag Preceiving. he picked up
the cOnductOr's lamp and appF1schiur
the old gent, shouted in bis esc-"Sho~
your fIckeisi" .#r.-r....e rr-N
"PA'ierce massy," says the old man,
ut here amt another of these ticket tel
lars" and then be pulled on. his pocket,
book, searched it, put It back, fell in his
vest pocket but in vain. You've got it,"
says he;.''l gin it tew you / know Here
he recol'ected sticking it in his ha,-band,
and now Commenced a search Eor hi.
head'Piece. .. ..
Fhe hat, amid the shutting Of the pa..
sengers' feet. had been kicked along
under several different seats. After a
busy search of some minutes he thought
ne perceived under a fat oil Iady's seat.
In seaching for it he av'oke her.
what do you want! she inquired
snaPpishIy, as even the most aniable old
lady would do, when awakened out of a
sound sleep.
I'm only reschiu' for my hat, marm,"
says he; ''iI's got under your seat"
"ltell you faint. says she. "That's a
nice excuse to be coming round a body
with. when they are asleep. Iii tell the
agent, see if don't" ,...
way good gracious, marm," says he
""you might sleep an age 10 the sane
bIldin'- with ms and Id never dream ut
techin' you"
.."Y u mightn't dream ofdoing so, said
she, hut yol amt bit too good to, II
bonnd-coming waking people up in the
middle of the night. when they are all
alone (there were fifty people in the carl
talking about hat why don't you git
your hat. it it's there. now, and that is
enough, | think, for any reasonable person
always disturbing people this way
why don't you take it, | say?"
Thus commanded. the distressed old
gent reached under the seat a.. the d rk
looking objected, which ha fancied was
his hat, and the old lady's small pct dog,
which ne caught hold of by the neck,
seized him in turn by the fingers, with
vu.u cough
r"Oc all scu,s the consumed thing!"
exclaimed he: ''why it's live varmenl!"
a.'NoD, says the old lady, IL reckon
you are satisfied that it ain't the kind
ollhat You are lookin for. and you can GU
snm'where else and search for your old
ha,."
"A jolt of the cars here nearly threw
him into her lap, on which she gave
blight scream, and called for proteotion.
"PerhaPs this is your hat, SIR" said
me wag who was persOnating the con
ductOr. at the same time handing his
ehaPeau. with the ticket safe 10 the hat
band. With an exclamation of pleasure.
he seized il.
81 ''Here take the consumed ticket. will
you!" he exclaimed, handing il out pro.
n'scuousIy, but every body refu ed.
So Won't nobody have it?'' he inquired
vow tew gracious | won't carry il
another MINT"
So $40" your ticketsi exclaimed the con.
nuctor, entering. to which be adIai--
1--WE are at Auburn, gentlemen"
sre take u, says the old Yankee,
in HI % STATE of tx:fsne,,t, sid les,
'rather be lockedup' in your dod rot,ed nj,
jail here than travel by night on these
wagons. A mans etarhalIy shown, h.