Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1848-10-04
From the N. o. Picayune.
THE MODEL LOUISIANA BACH
1T OPS
IBERvILLE, Sept. Is, 1918

THE MODEL LOUISIANA BACH>
ELORS.
IBERvlLLE. Sept Is, 1913.
The model bachelors live on their plan
,ations. They are walled upon ny seve.
raj old 'amily servants They are skiltuI
in lighting luci(er matches. I" apply 10
the end of their cigars They are good
superiulenden,s Of The kitchen, and can
tell the cook how to have things done 10 a
turn. They bear all msIurunes with
equauimity, except tho misfortune Of meet
ing bilrer political opp"neul. They are
moi as:oushed # they fluid their loose sill.
yer gone from their packets. if they were
4he day previous cat court They have
always lost The keys Of their drawers -
They canuot tell what becomes OF the
stores,' aud thai last old brandy They
are uncertain about the number OF their
shirts. and those that have buttons on
they keep for visitcrs, as they originally
belonged TO somebody else They cannot
tell what becomes of the empty bottles
and the last novels. They wear easy
shoes aud keep their fine buo's rather for
show thau use. They play the prelude 70
great number tunes on the flute aud
cant.a piston. and conclude them viva
voce. They are soush, after by society,
but are not great dIuers oul. They cannot
Sie their cravatsin variety of knots. par
1icularly the matrimonial tie. They mix
good salad, pride themselves on mutton
soup, aud are amateurs with gree' nlnts
They are exceedingly amIable To The lair
sex, and the elderly ladies wonder why
they dua't get married. They are always
ready TO stand godfather. an,' shiue with
great dignity on such occasions. They
enjoy The comforts of life. aud dine at
home to find them. They study their
case. aud look with commis,eratlon upon
their married friends that visit Them. They
wonder If babies do uoI always cry. and
If il is NOT a sure atflictiou for the young
mother 10 stay home from patty To
attend them. They buy all The swords
that are presented 10 our gallant officers
returned from Mexico; they never present
them. They know the besl places in the
city to get the bes: dinners. the best
game, the best fish, the best cigars, the
very best hat, They are the scape-goals
for all the delinquent husbands, aud are
spoken of accordingly, aud yet t"ey are
Hospitality received al the tables OF the
offeudetl malrons, and pitied that they
should waste their time in siusle blessed
ness. lf one OF the model bachelors is
sick, the other si,s up with him, and
abuses the nigger nurse for not taking
better care Of her master. IL both are
sick q, the same time, they speak at the
misery of being alone. aud wonder If they
wont he perfectly happy i'll a future state.
They drive very fast horses, aud have
spring cushions To their buggy seats. The
neishbors, when they 20 along the road,
designate their appearances by saying
.lhas's Them They are expected TO take
an active part in barbecues, aud at fishing
parties, are in great requisi'ion 10 baif
hooks. They are never ready 10 go ag
where, aud always leave their carpet b
sgzsssss!as, Raass.' They talk a s!s
deal about gong - !les1cfc1I' d'fd rfobab,
viii 90 come of these days. They al
always expecting some frieuds from tt
city. aud wonder what their Benedn
companion wants to go home and see
wife for.-They are always anxious abo'
the next crop. ds the yield and prices "
have some effect upon their expen diures.
They have an immense variety Of morn
ing gowns aud dnuflc-barrel gun cases.
They take shower baths, and are End Of
Congress wafer. There has no been for
yeats pretty lady married in the neigh
borhood that they cauuot remember some
time when they intended 10 courI her
Altogether. the past lives Of The model
Louisiana bachelors are worthy Of tho
speculation and profound admiration of
the philosopher; their history in time TO
come is enveloped in the uusI profound
obscurity.