Wisconsin herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1846-1849, 1848-09-16
Mrs. Scuggins' Talk about Bachelors
and Young Ladies.


81 hates bachelors" said Mrs. Scruggins,
the other day, in quite an energetic manner,
81 do, indeed | don't mean them as is
Young, hut them as is old in sin, and can't
be reformed and coaxed TO marry. What
an orful state is single bessedness! Bles-
lsedness, indeed! I'd rather be dog in the
moon, as Shakspur says, than TO marry an
old bachelor. Twas tellin' MIR. Skinkle the
other day-.Nr Skinkte isn't old bach'lor,
he's only thirty-seven-I was telIin' MIR.
Skinkle, that all the old bachelors should
he imported to Africa, where the sun would
warm 'em up little; make 'em risky, like,
and then they'd propose. He looked at me
over the top of his dear green specs. and
saidsas how, bachelors would be bachelors
until after they was married. In course |
agreed with him, and then he told me the
reason cause he didn't commit himself inter
mattermony. Twas very aiflictn' story;
aud he told it in SIGH sorrowful kind of
way, it made me feel fer him very much
He said, he was misfortunate man, and
had n grevus time of it in his life. He
couldn't complain about perfumery matters;
he was well enuif to do in the world, but
then he had been desperate unlucky, pirtic-
ularly with femnines. He never could git
along with em he said, cause he fell in love
with 'em all. He couldn't help it, it was
material, he believed, and was family fail
in. told him he needn't be 'shamed of it,
and then he smiled excessive softly, and
said as how he wasn't. When he was eigh-
teen he was in love with little angel of fiji
ten. or thereahouts, who lived next door to
his house in Cincinnater. The families had
one hydren atween 'enn, and he used to
meet her there drawin' water. Somebody
had bored hole in the lead spout of the
hydren, and she'd set the water agoin', and
drink out of it. Mr.. Skinlle said as how
he allays drunk arter her, and il was won
derful how often they was dry. AFTER he'd
got well know'd to her, he used to go into
her house TO see her, and the end oft was, he
got in love; and she said she loved him, too,
better than any thing. And, Mr.. Scrug-
gins said Mr.. Skinkle, what do you
think was the end on it? Eleven months
and two weeks arter got 'quainted with
this little angel, would you b'ieve t?-the
deceitful mink went and married an old
bachelor, Jest cause he was worth plum.
II was a dreadful blow but got over il
Ihowsumever." Well, when he got older
Mr.. Skinkle got wiser, so he said, and went
a Iookin' for steady feminine for wife.
There was a plenty on Fem, but they were
Y
afraid he'd be TUX in, so he kept Oh wait
, in and a waitin' till he was twenty-six, and
then he fell in love with servant girl lie
didn't tell me emmy thing about that affair
howsomer, 'cept that he didn't marry her
,, A year arter that time he was tux by dash
, iu' wilder, who had cum out to the west
He was Jest on the pint of preposn' to her
, when he heerd that she had a small family
of nine children in New York and as they
was Jest nine more step children than he
wanted, he said as how he " crawtished, :
which means, backed out.
Time few away from him, and at thirty
Mr.. SkinkIe was not married. He began to
think about it serious, then, he said, and sci
, up strong to a young feminine who had jest
left boarding school; gallivanted her round
to all the balls, and concerts, and pic-nicks,
and fiishin' parties, and paid all kinds OF
'tentions to her. AFTER gitten' the consent
of her father and mother, and takln' all the
trouble he did-don't you think she would
'nt have him, cause he was so short-sbe
wanted heroic statue-sX feet high at the
very least Then he got mad, and went to
settin' up to two teminines at wunst-he had
two strings to his bow he said. This was
worse than all, for they found it out; and
when he asked one of 'em she said no won
der his eyes was crossed, lookin' two ways
for wife; and the other he asked last, said
she wasn't emmy body's second pick. This
flustered him a little, and he dld't go a
courtin' emmy more for long time arter-
wards. He was desperate 'frad of wimmin
with high temperatures and allays preferred
them as was mild and unconsuming. He
got '1uainted with one of this ere kind, as
he thought, and was very much taken with
her ways. She was so gentle, and never
rot vexed at all, to all 'pearance. He was
iokin' with her, one day, and misadvertently
he axed il her curles were material, and if
them four front teeth of hers wasn't false
She few in orful passhun, and invited
him to get out of her sight, never show his
face again. Ever since that day, Mr..
Skinkle has a horror of milG-faced fenin-
ines; he allays perfers them that shows
some spirit. Ny countenaece, he said, was
of them kind as does"
With this remark, Mrs. Scruggins lean
ed back in her rocking chair, and glanced
complacently at the mirror.-iSt. Louis ReU.
Death or Carr. MARRYAT.-Captain
Marryat. c. B. the celebrated nautical nov
elist. died on Wednesday, at bis seat, Lang
ham. Norfolk, age SO. His services in the
NAVY are thus recorded by Allen, in the
Ne,c Nary list: MiIshipman Of the I'm
periescue, in corporation with Patriots, on
the coast Of Catalonia, under Lord COcb-
rane: served IN the attack on the French
feet in AK Roads, aud in the Walcherer
expedition IN 1909; Lieutenant Of The New
castle, aud in her barge cut out four vessels
from, po-top Raw 1914. commanded the