Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1848-05-31
FROM THE NEW ORLEANS DELTA.
"CHILDREN HALF PRICE"

One of the most difficult questions that bothered
our ooyhood, and we suppose majority Of our rea-
ders were similarly embarrassed, was as to the en-
act meaning and Limitation of the phrase, "Children
Half Price," When our boyish fancy was inflam-
ed TO fever heat, by glance at the attractive Cir
Gus BILL filled with delightfully."- exciting pictures of
intrepid equestrans, standing on the bio Toe of one
loot on the apex of the hind quarter of milk white
or beautifully spotted courser, or of broad mouthed
clowns htchinyu their heels into double bow knots,
or or ground and lofty tumbers making rings of
themselves, turning double summersets and revers-
ing the order of nature by walking on their hands
when all these delightful and attractive pictures
used to catch our young eyes, and inAame our Gu
Tosity and imagination, we We're destined to eXpe-
rence melancholy collapse, by reading at the bot
tom OF these snowy placards those cabastic aud
ambiguous but momentous words" Children Halt
Hrice" What was the meaning of those words?
ihls was puzzling and perplexing question Did
they refer TO the size or the age the dress or the
bearing of applicants for admission-was the word
chdren" used in lis generic sense SO as to denote
all who were possessed of childish qualities, or in
It's SPECIFIC sense, denoting those members of the hui
man family whose gears were few, not those whose
ears were long2 Did it include those who, though
children In years, were men in spirit and rice per
Sa! These have proved puzzling questions to all
youths.
But the difficulty is still greater when the term
isaPpied TO young ladies. So it appeared in case
which was lately tried before Justice Bright Of this
city lady keeping boarding house had inclu-
ded In the advertisement of her terms this common
but enlgmatical phrase, "Children Half Price. -
gay wldower who having his eye on "second
wentur," " was DESTROYS of keeping up by every de-
vice in his power the pleasant delusion of middle
age mess, had daughter not far from sweet six
teen whom he placed at the boarding house where
children were entertained at "half price" At
ter the young lady had been at the boarding house
Tor some time, the widower asked for his bill, when
10! and behold imagine his surprise to find his lit
tie duck, his mere little tiddy biddy of daughter,
put down at the full price Of adult boarders He
was shocked, Mortified, indignant and Supplied at
this extraordinary proceeding. Going Immediately
to his looking glass, and seizing his brush and ar
ranging his hair and whskers, he apostrophized
himself thus: "Nle, the father of a Young iady-
or grownup femae-ofa manageable full sized.
full-apetited frst-tabled adjusted juvenile wo
man! is preposterous an imposition! I'll stand
suit before Pl pay it!''
Inc ambitious wldower was as good as his word
lie stood suit, denying IN toto the plaintiffs claim
Learned lawyers Were employed on both sides and
the question came up before Justice Bright, ma
gis.ra'e noted for his strong. sensible, practical
views OIL matters. What constituted Young !atIy
.ahd what was the meaning Of the phrase, schil-
dren half prce?" were the points at issue.
10 determine the first question, gallant and ac-
compllshed young friend of ours relation ofone of
e ihost exalted characters in our nation, was called
on to give his testimony, and most searching ex
animation did he stand with inflexible composure
Inc following were some of the questions put to
him, and his answers:
| do you know the defendants DAUGHTER Miss
Angelina Ann?
| Ans.-l have that honor
! What is she?
Ans la,
| What do you mean by Young lady,
Ans.-A respectable youthful female
do you consider her a child 2
| Ans.-No
The plaintiff here very complacently closed his
case and the defendant commenced his cross exam
! nation:
| What do you mean by child?
Ans.-A young female human being.
What constitutes the distinction between Young
lady and young female human being?
AnS.-Why, young female human being wears
Pnaores long frocks, check aprons, eats large guam
ttes OF bread and butter, giggles at boys hugs wax
dolls, and plays ''puss in the corner" and chicke
my, chlckemy, craney crow"-whiIst Young Ia.
dy carries her hair done up behind reads Byron and
Buiwer, wears baizaTines from Madame Vozin's,
eschews pantalettes. casts her eyes down at the
sight ofyoung gentlemen, has small appetite.
chiefly confined to salads and sweetmeas and gen
orally, when there's enough, sits at the first
table.
This answer was objected to--the witness hay-
ing assumed to determine a strict question of law.
which belonged to the Judge to decide 1t was
contended. however, that as matter OF technical
opinion, like the opinion of man of science i'm mat
ters relating to his profession, the evidence was ad
Missile.
But" lmPatiently asked the defendant, 81 wish
to know OF you, as man of honor if you consider
my daughter Angelina Ann Young lady
Ans-As man Of gdllanty am bound to say
yes.
The Judge here rebuked the witness by informing
him that 1t was naked question of fact presented
10 MN, and he must answer according To- his judo-
ment and knowledge, and not according to honor OF
gaantry.
! 'WelI," replied the witness, Il think Miss An
gelina Ann is young lady"
''Why, my daughter?'' remarked the compla
cent and youthful widower, 'she is mere child -
ans.-Ihat is because you look upon her through
such youthful eyes.
What then is your reason for SAVING that she is
young lady?
.Ans,-Well, il you will have it, III tell YOU
Miss Angelina Ann and have taken sundry moon
ight strolls, (at this announcement the defendant
llfted his eyes and hands in establishment and hor-
ror,) when if she had been a child she would have
been at home in her juvenile couch and during
; those walks she frequently quoted from Moore's
Melodies, Byron's Chlde Harold and sung very
swee'ly too, cot in the Silly night" "Come
reign in this BOSOM" and al dIeamt that dwell
in marble halls"
SIS that all the proof you have Of her being a
young lady2' exclaimed the defendant.
"No," replied the witness, al have more. She
sat at the same table with me. | observed that
nice dish of boiled cabbage and onions was placed
opposite TO her every day, and never could per
suade her to touch them. II is fixed opinion o
:, mine, that any individual of the feminine gender