Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1848-05-09
From the ST. Louis Reveille.,.
MFa, ScFuggiHS' Advice TO O Young Man.

Mrs. lScruggins, in very confidential
and motherly tone, to young man of her
acquaintance. 'Iwant to give you some
advice about how you should do in mixen
with EN-. Between you and me, (you
needn't tell il 10 the boaEder with the
green specs, howsomever) Pm middle.
aged iwomin, and have seed a thing or
TWO In my time; some things that was
gooo' and some things as warn't. I've
seed wimip that | would light on, if was
young man. as dear gone Mr.Scruggins
usea 10 say, like grim death on deceas.
Cd Afro. an-and then agin, I've seed
some Ia Jlst as leave touch as-as-a-
reptile. l would advise you, ifyou begin
10 ieel any ways queer about any particu.
lar temIninejist happen In some morning
S'ore breakfast, and if you see her hair
done up slick, her face washed clean. and
her dress hooked up all the way behind.
sue . the one tor your money. Emu
woman will look we'll arter fixin' up. but
IaEe EN- when they amt expectin' you--
tnaFs the way they'll look arter marriage.
my dear husband used to tell me arter
We was married, how executed his
Aeel'ns was' when he met me one morein'
aiore we were promised, with my hair
81. zone up tidy, and every thing fix
l!sI right. recolIect the time well.
had on span new gown, which
cost twenty.f five cents yard, land seventy.
nVe cents for the the cuttin' out. Mr..
D. said ne always liked to see people
way; and l was so glad he hadn't called
the morn'n' atore, which was wash day.
"AnotheT thing | want TO tell YOU.
whenever you want to talk to a Young
womn, don't speak like you was skeered
90 death-iI won't do--eause why! she'll
see you are afreerd of her, and in con.
sekense, git spunke, and think that she
Kun doJess as she pleases, which ideay it
Will take you long time to drive away
alleF marriage, if you don't do it afore.
Wnen ever you are in kumpahy with
mIddie.aged teminines that isn't married,
say them that's thirty years old, or there.
soou's--talk about your expeditions, hint
around somthin' about mortality, or pol.
inca! influence. and things of that kind.
Middle.aged wimin' swaller them kind of
things Jist like catfish does fat pork.
But if your affections is set on Young
girl as reads rhymes, and talks of them
1ellers, Byron and Shakespeare, who has
wrII books, you must talk about moon
sh'ney brambies, starry sheenery, and
so forth; but take care you don't talk that
are way to girl ofsense, for she may be
leading you on jist to laugh at you.
"l)on't be too modest. Young wimin
often say they like SIGH and SIGH one,
cause he's sioh modes. young man.
Nov, that's all humbug and shim.s sham.
A ieetle modessy is we'll enough, but il
you havntgot pretty good stock of brass
with IT, You wont git along in this sinful
world. Whenever you are in kumpany
where there is sensible men and WINNER
put on bold face, and ifyou don't know
even as much as them, make out like vol
know'd heap more, and you'll git cred
1t TOR what you do know; but where youns
men talk about foolish things, that girll
OF sens don't care any thing about, lis
set OFT in corner, and don't say nothing
Plenty of fools have gos the name of wiss
men by Jist keeping their mouths shut
MY dear gone Mr.. s used to say, tina
ne never said much in crowd, and ever,
body said he was perfect Scion, an,
what every body says must be true.
"NeveR talk about other people, befor,
them you don't know we'll, you nigh. gi
yourselfin scrape. I've know'd ofease.
WHARF one person was talkin' and laughir
ct another, who was sittin' near, Iisinin,
and pretendin' TO be dEeadtully tiokIed al
the time at the fun. / did il once myself
was talkin' to gentleman who | wa
introduced to at ball thought as how
his name was Jones, and we had a merr,
time, at the expense ofsome of our 'quain
Gances, includin' Mr.. James, who [ sail
was fool, certain The next day,
found out that | had been talkin' TO Mr.
James himself l felt orfuI abou, il,
tell you, ever since. When don't hea
the name we'll, of person who is intro
"oduced to me, always asks them the
name, so then, won't make no mistake
And then tell 'em how got ketohe
with that Mr.. James.
III you are ever called on to Yescu
iem.nlnes from faintin' fits, be sure yo
oontthrow water in their faces, as IL
very dlsagreeable. Between you and l.:
IN confidence, you know--wimin dom
always faint in rale earnest, and the
cum to in sieh hurry. Voluntary salt.
ifyou can find emmy handy, is the bes
Tlmedy, for wimin is so used 10 them, tina
they can snuff away without evin sneezin,
Never cut stays-it's too expensive, 70
good laces cost twenty-five cents apiece
and then some of 'em lsce so tight, Their
lsa good deal of dangeV ola oolIapsion {
Ihe nervous system, as the doctors SAY
The best way is to let 'em alone, an
1hAV will Ot,oo e. -, a. Al o.