Weekly miners' express. (DuBuque, Iowa) 184?-1849, 1848-05-03
SQUIRE VIC X.
Or, a Lawver among The coos.

Or, a Larger among The coos.
Lawyers, it is generally conceded, are
cute at picking clients pockets. Some oil
them, however, are not SO all-killing cute
at selecting the best stocks-cows, hors.
es, pigs, &c know OF one at least-a
lawyer Of considerable celebrity..in fact
| believe he has been honored with sea,
on the bench-who once made a most
egregious bull in picking out coac a
mong a herd; and as it is your vocation
to record all "Bulls," whether Of Yankee
or Irish origin,1 will 'do' YOU this one
substituting fictitious names for the orig
nals. ~ ~ ...-..-@.rs ~, .t..., -... =
Squire Wick, who lives not thousand
miles from the capital Of the Pine tree
State, was a great favorite Of the late
Judge Cranch. Several years since, when
visiting the Judge, the latter invited he
former to walk over bis. premises. A.
mong other places they visited the barn
yard, and the Squire was struck with ad.
miration as he gazed upon the noble herd
Of cows which had just been drove up for
night Sinking. He expatiatcd upon thei,
different good points, Sc, with as much
freeness as would first rate stock. breed
er, but the fact was, he knew but pre-
clous little about stock, and some Of the
good points, which he pointed out, caus
ed the Judge to laugh some in his sleeves
"WeII, Squire" said the Judge, "whict
Of the COWS will you take?'
"Which will take, your honor" sale
the Squire, somewhat bewildered as tc
what the Judge meant.
eyes, which will you take! I'm going
to make you present Of one OF them
now choose We which you'll have"
"ReaIly, your honor, this is entirely
unexpected. | have no objections to re-
ceivlng the present, but really choose
not to make the selection-receiyers
should not be choosers"
"lf you accept the present you must
make the selection. That's the way the
case stands--make your action according
ly. Being good Judge Of stock, you'll
not be likely to cheat YOURSELF" and the
eccentric Judge smiled knowing smile
The Squire donned his goId-bowed
spectacles, and began to view the nows
with a critics scrutinizing eye. Af,or
some minutes sevcrest scrulinization, he
turned to the Judge and said:--
81 apprehend, your honor, you would
not like to part with that very fat short.
horned thick-necked cow"
81 have no choice--make your selec.
tion,' said the Judge, his r:sibles almost
choking him. -..
IL don't want to rob you Of your favor.
ite COW, but if you have no choice,
should prefer the fat one--she has many
good points,
"No tavoritc-no robbery at all-the
fat COW is yours. My man will drive
her to your house before milking"
"Thc Squire returned home highly
pleased with his present, and made haste
to inform his wife. In about an hour the
COW was driven into 'Squire's yard by
John, the Judges man: The Squire
despatched his servant girl, a stout heal
thy daughter Of Africa, 10 milk the COW
1.-THE latest, best pointed COW in the vii.
lage," In few minutes, in came the
ebony lass, gigling, sncezing, and laugh
ing, and perhaps dlushing, although nc
signs of 1t were perceivable. Squire
Wick knew that something was to pay
by Dinah's extraordinary actions, but he
didn't smell the rat, by long chalk
There Dlnah stood, rounded up with
laughter the empty pail dangling about
in every which way.
,'What on earth is to pay, Dinah ?" in.
CURED the Squire. sase~-. ..~.
ooh, lor, Massa, muffin, only--M-hi-hi
i-i-i-he-e-e-e - ...-. ze........
The Squire looked 10 the wife--,he
wife looked TO the Squire-then looked
at Dinah, who had conditioned with
laughter, and settled down by the door
her face covered with an apron. and her
laughing machinery shaking herat ire,
mendous rate. ,A.,
The Squire's mad was up. "Dinah! "
said he at the top Of voice, ''tell me what
is to pay, or I'll throw you out of the
house!' 5@ '.'@1& 4l4.
Dinah rose and mastered herself long
enough 10 say ...-.
ooh, Tor, massa, muffin, only dat COW Of
yours be a a-GEMMEN cow--hi-hi-hi-i-i
he-he-e-e-e-e!" Sl,.t be4.ziia 8s
If you know how chop fallen man
looks, you have pretty fair likeness of
Squire Wicks's at that moment, and for a
week after Dinah made the announce
nent. The way that very fat short
horned thick-necked cow' walked back 10
Judge Cranch's is nobody's business; and
the way the Judge laughed at his friend
is Of no particular consequence to the
reader.-[ Yankey Blade.
The Siamese Iaoins are living in North