The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1848-06-20

"And, then," added Stubbs, sayagely
I"when I've done correcting the old woman
there's gotto be spankade. I'll rouse ou
every one Of the children. I'll spank ZEN
ltlll I'm tired, and do fathers duty by them
They've been neglected the whole Of this
campaign, and iii begin to be pa,ernal righ
off the reel. i-s
"Well," continued S:ubbs, in softened
tone, "iheres always comfort for married
folks. There's somebody at home that you
can blow up when you've mind 10, and they
can't help Themselves. Strangers wouldn'l
take it when you feel rsassy; bu, IL is The
bounden duty Of Mrs. .6,pbbs TO listen aid
not TO throw things at HE. Every body ISM,
liable 10 slapage, but rs never los, upon the
little S,ubb's-if il ism, due now, they can
take it on account. All domestic felicity !,
one ofthe greatest things that ever WAS found
OUT. especially when you arc not elected -
Home, sweet homc-=one can have row at
home, and It's nobody's business but, your
own. - liaAs
I s"Thete's one thing certain, at any rate,'
said Stubs on the following niorhihg, as he
poked the newspapers with lhe election re-
turns, ihib the stove; "i've done with poll
tics. 1 don't like being called kangaroo aud
cannbal, and all sorts Of hard names. I've
been peppered quite enough for one while
in that way. And another thing I'm tired
Of foFkihg uit for other peoples amusement.
When mans "on the ticket as they call il,
he is pro bono pi6lfco=-ihe public bone eve-
thing he's got. Money=-oh, yes--money
for professions, money for flags, money for
meetings, money for dncumenis, money for
newspapers--money, tioney all the time.--
But that's not enough, if you're "on the
licket"--you mus, work like horse besides
-ar.in round the town, and scamper over The
up early, go to bed late, and
never got no dinner-have TO keep cold po-
latoes in your pocket, and eat 'em as you 60.
Ketch one bad cold on the top Of the other
bad cold, till yon are as hoarse as the man
With an oyster cart Of rainy night. And
hen, when you feel bad yourself about il,
'ou mustn't let on thai yot feel bad, but toll
yhoppers TO keep up their spirits. And at
ast, when your pockets are empty, when
'ou're as lean as greyhound, and croak like
raven-when your business has gone TO
ack and ruin, why then--you're not elected,
nd are set down as used up-thai's the finish.
"l've had talk with Mrs. Stubbs about il
we've made uP--and now | am going 10
lect myself 10 the office Of mindlng my own
fairs, and looking after my own shop. Me
nd Mrs. Siubbs are the United States, and
IN 10 be President thereof. The children
re to be The people-they are the uor popu.
!, and are to hurrah and vote for me at eve-
' election. Our candle-light procession shall
6 up and down stairs-we'll have d town
,eeting every day at dinner, and find our
wn loaves and fishes. 'Pon my word, now
hat me and Mrs. Stubbs have concluded not
} have hard word, any more, If ] don't be-
in to think that TO be beaten in an election,
sometimes jus, about the best Thing that
ould happen to fellow. It son of settles
i'm down--puts notions out Of his head
'akes him sleep without dreaming, aud sends
i'm about his business. feel al the better
! il alfsady. And the little Stubs
I've cent apiece all round this afternoon"