Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1848-03-11
THE FRESHMAN WHO COULDN'T TELL
CALF FROM A TURKEY.

Not long since in one Of the principal ho-
tells OF ST Louis. a boy fresh from the green
sod, who was a little awkward bat dreadful
willing, was acting as a waiter. Just asiiu-
uer commenced e new servant showed them
a few extra touches not in the bill OF fare
lie had evidently bren drilled in the move
ment OF taking of the covers" and consid
enug this the most important evolution per-
formed At table, aud oae in which he could
show off his drKtrriiy to advantage. he wa,
always keeping his eve on ANY motion which
resembled a signal from the head wal e. to
raise these tin helImits. A gentleman called
to him. TO bnng some water,
Certainly, sur, said he. but hould on a
mint all the Tin caps are takin' AT these
dishes"
Come along sir, with some wather," sail
the impatient guest.
"Av coorse." said he. "yez have the wather
but don't get cranky about IT.; shur- lis M
first time here, AMI Id like to ret TIE fling ui
thiaSs IN a peacrabie way-hOull your tam
bier
He commenced pouring out, when "his''
al The upper eni OF the table, from the head
waijef. dew OF us aiteu.ioa-h- lhouz / it
IVES he signal, AM watching &, be cer,uic. ae
poured haA the contents OF the picherin aud
O,cfthe lumber, tabs, sc.
There, bal luck 10 M. zee whit | an to.
ia. Way dim ~ '-Il m7 to mould up
och. Su- IT'S mighty ,ltt.r e%Aartiun any OF ycz
I'D ana ir 10 pftyint accident"
" Hat vent tile signal at the head OF the
table, anl sst.iug his pitcher on the foot ha-
hind iam, The tr,sh BOY hoped with d s.igbt
I yrlp OF oxidation, aud srized the handle Of
the cover.
Fax. now I'll show EN- a twist" said he.
II could waust twIri a stick as supple as any
body ~ The tDwnlaud Of Ball braken.'
" inst, wrni ,hr signal again. aud he gave
IT a fir" hist dgaun. aud he drew II to-
wards him; but heie he lo,5ot what was next
to be done VITA II, and while ga ping to watch
how the other servants bestowed theirs, he
slapped The IN cover ON a g~-utlenan's bead.
The bodrjer cursed his awkwsrduess aud
while resting with cover, aud making all sort.
oi aPol"gies, he fell over the pitcher! The
poor fellows cupot misfortune was now full
bad cess To his head" he mutlered 81
was gettln' through ii beautifully when be
stuck his dirty pditoos' Nv a skull in the
way
Bring me some turkey" said another gent
as soon as pat had gained bis leet.
Turkey. yis, sur; wud you hay' anything
on it7' inquired he.
"Nhat do you meanl" inquired the gent il
turn.
81 mane, don't you want some fat on il
something like a dhrap Nv gravy to make il
slide down aisy?' said he.
BECOME, Fir, and ask me no more ques
tons. replied the boarder, very pompousIy
Oh started the victim, and soon returned
bearing upon the plate a piece OF peil.
Il told you 10 get turkey" said the board
er.
"Ana shure, there il is according TO ordher,
replied the servant.
~ hat turkey" says Pat.
This is not turkey, sir" says the boarder
Il say il is, aud be japers | ough, to know
for lwint after i" persisted the servant.
DO YOU mean 10 tell me, SIT" inquired ih,
gentlemen, in the tone OF severity, "that
don't know turkey from peli"
mo faith, says Pat, Il shan't tell yez any
thing ct the kind, for Maybe you're been rals
ed To the buteherin' business, aud ought II
know, but III take my oath that | got the vale
i. vale it's, att the ira.i,,sss ater