Boon's Lick times. [volume] (Fayette, Mo.) 1840-1848, 1848-06-10
SPECIMENS OF PLAIN ENGLISH.

SPECIMENS OF PLAIN ENGLISH.
lHE mnralist sometimes inquiries how i,
would be If all people were accustomed TO
speak exactly as they think. That oues.
ton we do not pretend 10 answer; but wa
believe that if some people spoke precise.
y as they thought, we should hear. occa.
sionai!y, such dialogues as the folowins:-
THE LOVERS.
lCum.-Ihe time, dearest, has now ar.
rived, at which feel tina, we should no lon.
ger delay our union One only doub,
sweet girl, prevents me from proposing
that our marriage should instantly taxa
place. My doubt, fairest creature. is sim.
ply how much your Papa will really leave
you al his death.
-Ma!den.--l always feared that YOU did
not love me for myself alone, and now
see clearly that you only want ME for nv
money. you selfish fellow.
Iouth.-No love, not exactly so T
don't seek TO marry you merely for your
money; but should moi like TO marry Vol,
without your money. hope what fhave
said has not offended you. sweetest
| Naiden.-Ies it has; and do not ,h;nl
now, tina, we are made for one another an
we had better break our cnga cement off.
louth.-l am griefed to hear Won say
so; for certainly like you a great deal
and should your papa, one Of these day,
'ea'e you what he said he would. shall
deeply regret that did not make YOU
mine
Naidea.--Now 60 away Instantly and
never let me see your face again.
loah.-WelI; suppose lha, is the bes,
thing can do. l hope you will return all
my presents.
.Na'den.-I will, since l should other.
wise be thought mean; but, | would much
rather keep them.
DRAPER AND CUSTOMER.
Customer.-Whai is the price of mi.
muslin dressl '
D'WPer.--Fourteen and.six. Mem. lam
fiaid you think you could get it at othe-
houses at lhirteen-and-two, and have
strong suspicion that it is only worth
twelve.
CHsiomer.--l shall see if can get i,
cheaper at another shop; and if not, / shall
come back 10 this and do my best to beat
you down.
Droper.-l hope they will endeavor 70
cheat you at the other establishment. Mem
and not succeed, and that you will return
| for the article to Us.
C"stomer.--l am in hopes that the peo.
pie al the other shops are bankrup,s, and
are selling of at loss.
Droper:--My object is 10 get as n,uc Il
as ] can for nv goods,
Customer-l want to get as much az I
can for my money.
Dr0per.--Of course, Mem. ! am apxiou.
to make all The prof, by you that can.
PHYSICIAN AND PATIENT.
PaHenL-Doc,or. ! am i'll all over. I
have swimming in The head. a sinking in
the stomach. an oppression at the chest. a
numbness in the limbs, and creeping from,
head to foot.
Physician II have not the slightest ;de,
what is the matter with you. lean n,trib.
ute your symptoms to no real disease what.
+ ever. l will write you a prescription, and
you are to take the mixture which l shall
order for you night and morning.
Pat'em.-Bnt what will be the use O,
your prescriptions7
Physician, None Whatever beyond this
that you will perhaps fancy tina, il ha,
done you good. However, if were to or
der you no medicine. | fear you would
consult somebody else; and though YOU
nigh, do without my physic. could no,
do without your guineas.
Patient-l think ] had better have fur
Their advice. ! am afraid you dom. under
E stand my complain, a, all.
PhyNcian.--Well. sir, good morning
J should be very sorry indeed. if 50 good
: patient as you were TO place himself in III
hands of any other practitioner. :.
: Patient--I wish knew what to max
of you. don't know whether YOU ar
a laughing at me or not. am half incline.
to think you are a respectable man, an,
!, half disPosed to consider you humbug.