Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1848-06-01
clare themselves lovers and suitors Ia

clare themselves lovers and suitors. Ia
snch case as that. You will need all yonr
presence of mind, or the hesitation produce
ed by surprise NAV give rise 10 false hopes.
!! you have any doubt upon the matter, you
may fairly ask tine TO consider OF il, on The
grounds OF your never having thought Of
The gentleman in The light of lover before;
but if You are resolved against the suit, en-
deaVor to make your answer SO decided as
TO finish the affair at once. Inexperienced
girls sometimes feel so much the pain they
are lnliiclng, that they use phrases which
feed lovers hopes; but this is mistaken ten
derness; your answer should be as decided
as it is courteous.
Whenever all offer is made in wiring. vou
should reply TO it as soon as possible and
having, IN This case none Of the emharrass-
ment Of personal interview, you can make
such careful selection of words, as viii!
best convey your meaning. 1.-THE person is
estlnabe, you should express your sense O!
his merit, and your gratitude for his prefer
ence, IN strong terms and put your refusal
oi his hand on the score Of your not feeling
for him that peculiar preference necessary
to the union he seeks. This makes reiu-
sal as LILLE painful as possible, and sooshes
the feelings YOU are obliged TO wound
The genlleman's letter should be returned
in your reply, and your lips should be clos
ed upon the subject forever afterwards. 1t
is his secret, and you have no right to tell it
10 any one; bu. if your parents are your
confidential friends on all other occasions,
! he will not blame You for telling them.
! Your young female friends should never
be allowed to tease or banter you into the
BETRAYAL of this secret, You cannot turn
! Your ingenuity to a better account, than by
usiugit to battle their curiosity. Some girls
are tempted 10 tell of all offer and refusal, in
order to account for cessation of those al
lenlIons on the part Of the gentleman: which
have before been so constant and mark eC,
as to be observed by their friends. But this
is no sufficient reason for telling another
PERSONS secret. You cannot always pre-
vent suspicion of the truth, but you should
never confirm /. by any disclosure Of yours
! IF you SO situated as TO meet the gen
Ilenan whose hand you have refused, you
| should do ii with frank cordially, and put
him at ease by behaving as if nothing par
! licuIar had passed between you. If this
manner of yours is so far mistaken as to
lead 10 renewal Of the offer, let him
see, as soon as possible, that he has nothing
10 hope from importantly, and that if he
would preserve Your friendslip he must
seek for nothing more. Always endeavor
10 make true friends Of your rejected lovers.
/ by The delicacy and honor with which you
treat them. Ii, when your own conduct has
been uneXceplionabIe. your refusal to marry
man produces resentment, it argues some
! fault of character III him, and Can only be
/ lamenleJ in silence. The feeling of many
high minded man, on such an occasion i
AKIN 10 that which | once knew expressed
by noble and delicate soul, who had low
ed friend OF mine in vain. So far from
! feeling mortified angry, he said u am
proud to have loved you.o Such sen,i-
menl does honor to bo,h parties.
! Never think The less Of a man because he
has been refused, even if it be by lady
whom you do not highly value. 1t is no.
thing to his Disadvantage. In exercising
/ their perogatve of making first advances.
The wises, will occasionally make grea, mis-
takes, and the best will often be drawn III
to an affair Of this sort, against their better
Judgment, aud both are but too happy, il
they escape with only the pain Of being re-
! fused. SO far from its being any reason
for not accepting wise and good man
when he offers himself to you, it should
only increase your thankfuIness to the O.
verrullrg Providence of God which reserv-
ed him for you, and to the lady. through
whose insruncnlaIi!y he is stIll free tc
choose.