The Democratic pioneer. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1845-1853, 1848-01-21
From the st. Louis Reveille.
ssOne of the awkward SQuad.''

ouC ot thc uWANdtu SNuaus
The other day in one of our principle ho-
tells, party of gents were at table, put Shdet
the care of boy fresh from the green sod,
who was little awkward but "dreadful' will
ling, and all agree that before the dinner had
been discussed the new servant showed them
few extra touches not set down in the bill
of fare. He had evidently been drilled in the
movement of stalking off the covers, and con
sidering this the most important evolution per-
formed at table, and one in which he could
show off his dexterity to advantage, he was
always keeping his eye on any motion which
resembled signal to raise these tin helmets.
gentleman called to him, to bring some
water.
."Certainly, sur" says he shut hold on min
it til the tin caps are takin' off these dishes"
"Come along, sir, with some water, said the
impatient guest.
"Av coorse," says he, 'yez can have the wa
ther, but don't git cranky about it; shure its
me first time here, and I'd like to get the fling
of things in peaceable way-hold yer tum
bier"
He commenced pouring out when "hist"
at the upper end of the table drew off his at
tention-he thought it was the signal, and
watching to be certain he poured half the con-
tents of the pitcher into and over the tumbler,
table, &c.
''There bad luck to me, see W hat m doin'
Why didn't yez tell me to hold up? Och,
but its mighty little exertlon any Nv yez I'D
make TO prevint accidents"
"fIst!" went the signal at the head of the
table and setting his pitcher on the floor be-
hind him, the fresh boy hoped " ith slight
yelp of exultaton and seized the handle of the
cover.
"Fax now, I'll show 'em tw ist," says he,
81 could wanst twire stick st as supple as
any boy in the whole townland of Ballybra
en-. "
"Hist" wentthe signal again, and he gave
it tlirt-"hist' again. and he drew it towards
him but here he forgot what was next to be
done with it and gaping to watch how the
tin cover on gentleman's head. The board
4 er cursed his awkwardness, and while reteat-
ling wi th the cover, and making all sorts of a.
pologies, he fell over the pitcher! The poor
fellows cup Of misfortune was now full.
"Bad luc k to his head" he muttered; Il was
gettin' through it beautifully whin he stuck his
dirty potong 'uv skull in the way"
i Bring me some turkey, said another gent
as soon as Pat had gained his feet.
"Turkey! yis, sur; wud you hav' anything
on it!' enquired he.
What do you meanr inquired the gent, in
turn.
Imane' don't you want some fat on it, some
thing like dhrap Nv gravy to make it slide
down aisy!' said he.
'Begone sir, and ask me no more questions,
replied the boarder.
OFF started the victim, and soon he returned
bearing upon the plate piece of veal.
Gtold you to get turkey said the boarder.
'And sure, there it is according to order,
replied the servant.
what turkey2' inquired the gent.
'Yis, turkey' says Pat.
THAT is not turkey you blockhead,' says the
boarder.
Il say it is, and be jabers ought to know
tor wint after it,
do you mean to tell me, sir inquired the
gentleman, in tone of severity, that don
know turkey from veal
mo, faith,' says Pat; 4 shan't tell yez any
thing of the kind, for maybe you We been rails
ed to the butcherin business, and ought to
know, but Il take my oath, that got the val
ue, if value it is, aft the turkey plate.