The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1848-08-19
KILN G., no Muir d err.

/ am sober, middle aged married gentle
man of moderate siZe;with moderate wishes;
moderate means; moderate family; and eve
ry thing moderate about me except my house,
which is too lnrge for my means, or my lfami-
~. 1t is however, or Irather, alas! it was nh
old mansion, full Of old things Of no value
but to the owner, as connected with early as
soclatons and ancient friends, and did not
like the idea ofconvcrIing it into n tavern or
boarding house, as is the fashion with the
young heirs of the present day Such as it
was, however, although ] sometimes felt
little like the ambitious snail who once crept
into Holsters shell and came near perishing
in hard winter; managed for ten or twelve
years to live in it very comfortably, and to
make both ends meet. My furniture, TO be
sure was little out of fashion, aud here and
there little out at the elbows; but always
persuaded myself that il was respectable TO
be out of fashion, and that new things smack
ed of new men, and were therefore rather
vulgar. Under this impression, lived in my
old house with my old fashioned furniture,
moderate sized family, moderate means, en-
vying nobody and indebted to no one in the
world. had neither gilded furniture nor
grand mantle glasses,nor superb chandeliers;
but then had few fine pictures and busts,
and fattered myselfthey were much more
! gentec than gilded furniture, grand mantle
! glasses, and superb chandeliers. In truth,
looked down with contempt not only on these
but OH all those who did not agree with me
in opinion. | never asked person to din
ner n second time who did not admire my
| buSis and pictures, considering him Agar
genius and an admirer ofgilded trumpery.
But let no man presume, after reading my
story flatter himself he is cut Of the reach Of
the infection offashion and fashionable opin-
ions. He may hold out for time, perhaps, but
human nature can't standfor ever on the defen
sive. The example Of all around us is ire
slstable, sooner or later This first shock
given to my attachment to respectable old
fashioned furniture and a respectable old
four square double house, was received from
the elbow of modern worthy, who had
grown rich. nobody knew how, by presiding
over the drawing of lotteries, and who came
and built himselfa narrow four story house
right at the side Of my honest four square
double mansion. 1t had white marble steps;
white marble door and window stills; folding
doors and marble mantle pieces, and was as
/ fine as a fiddle, in doors aud out. 1t put my
rusty old mansion quite out Of counlcnaucc,
ms every body told me, though assure my
readers, thought it excessively tawdry and
| in bad taste.
But, alas! such is the stupidity of mankind
i could get nobody to agree with me.
]
cried one good natured visitor; somehow or
other ii don'i look as it used to do"
'Whut makes your house look so rusty and
old fashioned" said another good natured
visitor.
MIR Blankprize has taken the Shine off of
you;' said Mrs. Sowerby; he has killed your
house"
Ilereupon the spirit moved me to go out
and recomuouer the venerable mansion. IL
rnrfDInlV InnIs OH LII
fashioned quaker 10y the side of first rate
dandy. picked u quarrel with it outright,
which by the way was n very unlucky quar-
rel. was not rich enough to pull it down
and build new one; and it is great folly to
quarrel with an old house until you can build.
| can paint-thought !, and put at least as
good face on the matter us this opulent lot
terry IMAM, my next door neghbor. Accor-
dinghy consulted my wife on the subject,
who whether from spirit of contradiction, or
to do her justice, | believe, from correct
and rational view of the subject, discouraged
my project. ] was only the more determined.
So caused my honest old house 10 be pain
ted bright cream color, that il might hold
up its head against the scurvy lottery man.
BLESS mep quoth Mrs. Smith-'What is
the matter with this room-it don't look as it
used to do?'
why what under the sun have YOU done
Protect me- exclaimed Mrs. White
why seem TO have got into strange room.
What s:the matter?'
You've killed the inside Of your house,
said Mrs Sowerby, Shy painting the outside
such bright color
1t was too true; this was my first crime.
Would had stopped here!but destiny deter
mined Otherwise. 1t happened unfortunate
ly that my front parlor carpet was ola elbow
ground. 1t was to be sure somewhat faded
by the time and use; but it comported very
well with the unpretendng sohriety of the
outside of the house, under the old regime.
But the case was altered now, and the bright
cream color of the outside kiiled the dingv
yellow carpet within. So bought new
carpet, ola fine orange ground. determined
that this should not be killed. 1t looked very
fine, and | was satisfied. / had done the bust
ness effectually.
Bless my soulr cried Mrs. Smith-'what
pretty carpet
Save usn exclaimed Mrs. Brown-'Why
you look as fine two pehcen
Protect us cried Mrs Sowerby-' What
fashionable AFFAIR." Then casting know
ing look around the room, she added, in n
tone of hesitatng candor-' But dom; you
think, somehow or other, it kills the cur
tains /?
Another Murder thought wretch that
| am, what have | done What is done can
not be undone ; but can remedy the affair.
SO bought n new suit of yellow curtains
PII twig Mrs Sowerby now.
Mrs Sowerby came the very next day
Well, | declare now this is charming | !
never saw more tasty curtains. But,my dear
MIR Sobersides, somehow or other, don't you
think they Kill the icnis'
Murder again four stone walls killed at a |