Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1848-10-19
miscellaneous.
PURCHASING A LOBSTER.

A raw looking beauty standing some six feet or
more in his boots-resh from the interior, arrived in
Philadelphia day or two since. with view 10 ex-
anime the lions in the city Of Friends.
He walked leisufely round the Girard college-ais
wondering gaze had been gratlIed by peep al the
Branch Mint, where the common looking chap made
money. a darned sight faster than he could-he'd
seen The old United States Bank. but for the life Of
him he couldn't see where md busted !'-he had
sauntered through Faumount, where some cute fell
low had squired water round most beautiul--he had
marched round the outskirts OF the Penitentiary, but
they warn't sharp enough TO get him in there-oh
no he had truted through the Museum, which he
didn't consider any great shakes .'and just before
leaving IN the 8 O'Clock tain for home he sirolled
down ascertain, Impossible, whore all the vegetables
and things went TO-
Having examined the premises for some time. he
suddenly halted before a Wagon which stood near by
-s,he floor OF which was covered with about score
of live Holsters, wrggng andtunl5ng over each 9TH
err. He was unfortunately afflicted with habit of
sIammeIing. Alter watching the sight for several
minutes, he sided up TO the owner at last, with
'Wo wo wol's them msierP ets
'sLobstets.' ~ $500 1da sseye-
'Lo-lo- lobsss ~ Bon
Yes. sir--werry fine
'W-wul I've hearn tell o. obstiss.'
.Hexcellent healen sir---s HOLSTERS, --hev'un sr2'
'W-wul, | reck'n-y yes.-Wowors the dam
age 2
Three levies.'
.How d.d--how do YOU ca, lobsilss q
With your teeth, pooly gnra'
IVY yes, but coo ook 'em mean
oh bile 'em sir.
.Thank'ee. Just the change'-and depesi,ng the
n' in the shot bag he placed the 'oostiss' IN the
hands OF lis lawful owner. sa a es
The stranger babe the seller good day, placed the
lobStIss unGer his ARM tail downwards-and started
for the rail road depot IN Market street,
The lobster was fresh caught and proved very un-
iruly--squirming and writing about our county
man was constantly adjusting has burden, until ne
finally managed to raise its claws on line with his
own head Suddenly one Of It's aippers extended and
closed again with smart smaek-grasplng IN lis
clutch the greater portion Of the poor fellows right
ear. An Undesirable twist pelvaded the country
mans phiZ-hs teeth became set IN an insant--and
lowering rs head he started into rapid walk, with
--'od rot him. Oh, thunder Le-le.let 60 Il b.
blast yur pietur, don't oueh, Mur-m-murder ! muir
der eaegr es.fr
A bevy OF youngsters had discovered the poor Eel.
lows predicamen as he rushed along the walk, and
he soon quickenet his pace into sharp ,ot, making
good Roadway towards the depot, the lobster dangling
from the side Of The head like huge old fashioned
ear drop As the boys gathered on his track he in,
creased his speed 10 dead rum still yelling like a
loon
oh, gauey to grimes. ta-ta-take him off, hen ca,
M me up! M-m-mur-dar. Cuus him Take hum
4 down 8.
/ Go it boots 2 shouted the crowd. !.
! spuul the warmth Off Take him back |
/ DID .dount wa waunt no loobstiSs'-aDd stopping
suddenly before benevolent looking Quaker gentle,
man upon the walk, he begged him TO take the IN
ternal Viper away.
! The countryman's ear resembled purple plum,
when the kind hearted man seized the claw, and re-
4 lieved him Of his load.
! But our benevolent friend was careless In his ef.
llorts 10 aid the countryaan. he had secured the lob
ser BY the claw, and sill held him dangling by his
side.
Hurt thee much friend p
.l3-blast him 2
Thee shouldn't proiane'-quieIy responded the
4 @ uakerlb bot at this instant a most uneatlhy seowl
shot across his previously placid countenance land
his face was conioried with the dresl grimances -!
THE lobster closed his claw and cluiehed The Quakes
/ fingers ill the blood started under bis nails
Ugh Oh, dear mel ON, tile scamp lake
shIm away sir! shrieked the ousserm great pam
Dada dang ifI doN y AA"
Take him sir