The daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1848-1851, 1848-12-25
BED-CURTATN CHICKERING'S.
BY HENRY H. PAUL.

| spread out a dense and sluggish mass OI FdPol,
already yielded large drops of rain, and seemed TO
presage violent storm. On night like this, 1t Is
astonishing how we love to crouch close, spoon
fashion to our bed-fellow, if we chance to have one
and listen to the rain it soft and unsteady pat
ters on the roof
rays in the chimney place. Mr. Queercurde's pants,
the bottoms Of which were soaking wet, hung over
chair to dry, and his coat, minus two or three of
the tail buttons, with the lining of the right hand
pocket ripped, was pendant from the bed-post. MIR.
Queercurde was little fat, oleaginous man, with
small, sharp, twinkling eyes, which had pleasant
expression. His wife was a stout, motherly lady,
rather middle-aged, with a sort of demi-rattle-
snake eye, rather bright, but decidedly bad The
quondam couple were covered with thick quit,
worked by the spouse In bright coiors, slightly sym
bolica, being blue. (eonstancy) yellow, Jealonsy0
pink, (innocence,) and red, defance,l which being
symmetricallY blended, or dove-talled with elegant
precision were excessively harmonious TO the gaze
of casual domestic observer. :.
Mr.. Queercurdle had solemnly assured his vile
that evening at the table, when the dear children
were all seated around them discussing bread and
treacle that he would take her to the races on
horseback the next day-but as luck would have
it, the rain must spoil all the pleasure she had in
perspective.
" Now, John Peter, isn't it too bad-riding does
me such d world of good, and the rain must come
and spoil all my little hopes9 But it's just my luck,
for / never make up my mind to go any where or
do any thing, but am sure to be prevented by
something or the other.
As Mrs @. delivere dherself of this, her partner,
who was or affected be, asleep, gave vent to an
extraordinary sound, which, being neither groan
nor grunt, nor gasp nor growl, seemed TO par
take Of the character of all four.
" Just like you,' said Mrs. O., giving him punch
in the hollow part of the back and turning around
with a very stern expression. Don't you hear
how it's raining !-but you don't care-it makes
very little difference to you-litte does your pro-
mise signify"
Historians assert that Socrates, the savan, led
to the altar termagant IN order to jeopardlze his
patience and disposition. Mr.. Queercurdle, on the
contrary not caring for any tests of this sort mar
ried that he might not have his peace OF mind DIS
turbed, How he put his foot in 1t !! methinks we
hear number Of our male friends say
Being especially indisposed to hear what ms
Xantippe might chance to say, and invested with a
predisposition Of slumber, he gave vent to sundry
nasal sounds. which with great deal Of propriety
and correctness may have been termed snore'
Mrs O. was lust about as much troubled with
sleep as a frog is with a side-pocket and her mind
being particularly, if not wholly absorbed IN the
contemplated visit to the races on the succeeding
day, she was determined at all hazards to talk
"come what come may" as one of Shakspeare's
heroes is made to utter.
" John Peter, wake up l--eome" cried she, CIV
ing him another home thrust under the arm, which
being delicate and sensitive part OF the body,
MOQuceu the Suect Oh AIM @llAAASAA@eSiy
Bprightin the bed.
Stop your nonsense--do If you felt as tired
RsI do, you'd keep your mouth shut and give your
emper holyday :"-and down he laid again.
"'1ired as you well, / like that" sneered she,
,ontemptuously. You have nothing to do but squat
in chair in an office all day, while have to bus
lie about and see every thing In the house, with
only the assistance of one maid servant-yOa talk
of being tired, indeedV
so do hush for heavens sake % said Mr. Queer
curdle, who laid on the outside, rolled over his
unctuous Z" corporation and stared at the taper
in the chimney-place, which gradually grew dim
mer, emitting very pale light unpleasant to look at.
" Hush !'' cried Mrs. O., "you don't flatter
yourself that that will put bride on my tongue
Instead of attending TO your devoted wife, here you
lay like log and with just about as much ieeing;
Pm ashamed of you, John PeteT-l'm ashamed OF
you. If ever get to be a widow-and the bright
angels know that Pm not doomed to this species OF
life all my days-before I'd marry again, I'd ped
de mouse-traps for livin'-that would !; ana
she uttered a sigh, just as Mr.. O. coughed.
"Take your cold feet away from my knees"
continued she, "you're mighty wilm' to make use
of my warmth, but you don't care how much
sufIer-youd better take them away, or I'll scratch
them"
The husband, who was in the broadcast sense OF
the word COOL fearing her talons might be as sharp
as her tongue, and not wishing to try the expert.
ment, hastily withdrew his pedestals and deposited
them in another part af the bed, merely mutterlng
as his teeth chartered with the cold, lay over:
&C. You had better take up all the bed" vocifera-
ted she, raising up, and stripping the quilt oil her
"mate" with the nicely that farmers boy would
husk an ear Of corn, 8" it beats me out to see how
any body can be so swinish "
As Mrs. QueercuTdle removed the quilt, being
possessed of remarkably inquisitive optics, which
were inconceivably quick at seeing what they
should not, she espied something shining on the
| white sheet, which on examination proved to be
harmless pin the point Of which was inserted in
the ticking. This disclosure brought about another
In extracting the aforesaid pin, she discovered that
her excellent but drowsy husband had retired with
out taking off his drawers.
sAh!'' thought she, 6 I'll have him out of that"
| Here was fresh pabulum for conversation.
John Petsr!" exclaimed she, shaking him I'M
| I'll his skin fairly went into gooSe:tteSh, Get up
| and take OF your drawers"
It's too cOId,'' ,growled that individual, his
| head buried in the bolster. " For Heavens sake,
! put up the cover and go to sleep"
"Take off your drawers, or III get up" and she
| made preparatory movement. " Do you think
can go sleep with those nasty things prickng me
/ Now we, as an unprejudiced inditer, and with
all possible disinteresedness, do not believe, Sc
riously aud earnestly, that his drawers had prcked
her that night, there would have been some pre-
yious manifestation of pain" or discomfort, but
as before related, in the act Of ascertaining how
/ many square inches of bed he occupied, she had
made the discovery that his inside inexpressibes
that hour Of the night and this was an exuberant
| PAUSE Of murmur.
mr.. Queercurdle's chronological development
| of frmness being, like most little mems, rather
| bulky, he was some time in making up his mind
whether or not he should get up and remove his
nnder-garment. which impaired to his body luxu-
rious warmth. Finally, thinking it the most effect
ual method of abatng bis wfes CHATTER, he bounded
out of bed, Invested himself of the offensive gar
ment, hung them carefully in the corner on a
chair-top, extinguished the taper, and groped his
way back to bed, quaking like an aspen. MIS- "
Qneercurdle, who never could talk half so well in
the dark, was much more silent, and soon COM
menced DOING. Her husband taking advantage
Of this silence, doubled up pillow, gave utterance
to a sigh, indicative of what we are not prepared
to say, folded his arms, and awaited the soothing
balm of Somnus Poor man rest was not so near
| at hand.
He just began to know that he was dreamer,
when he was awakened by his wife, with tears in