The Somerset herald and farmers' and mechanics' register. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 183?-1852, 1847-06-08
FROM THE ST. LOUIS REvEILLE.
ALL ABOUT A DOG.

Mary Allerd entered complaint before
the Recorder, against William Russell, for
throwing a brick at her dog and misSing g
him. The charge, as it thus stood, was
not very serious; but those legal gentle
men who commonly infest courts are ne
yer content with just SO much of story,
like Mrs. Virgins, who married jim
Tender. and wouldn't be satisfied until
"she had the whole of it''-Ee.ther would
they be satisfied about the dog complaint.
'sYou say he threw brick at the dog
and missed him!' inquired the counsel.
"Yes, sir" said Mary, little stout
English woman, she did, as I'm liyin'
oman"
"Well, what followed" was the coun-
sells second interrogatory.
"Vy," adds the injured proprietress Of
the dog, "that ere brick then kim agen
mE, and when | wosn't dom anything in
the world agin Mister Russell
"Ahr' exclaimed the counsel, rubbing
his hands. SNOW the case begins TO look
promising. Well, what did you do then,
Mrs. AlIerd!'
"Fy," says she, 81 ups and throws it
back at Mister Russell as ard as | could,
and saysI Mister Russel, says /, You
knows, says |, that I'm a widder and
amt got no husband to protect me, else
YOU wouldn't be a servin' me in that ere
way, saws |, and then he ups and throws
right at me, and then ups and throws at
him agen, and then We kept on throwin',
and that's all | has agin him.
"Strong case,'' says the attorney, ''you
can stand aside. Cali Mary Standing"
he added to the Marshall. Mary stood
up. and was sworn-she. too, was Eng
lish. Estate what you know about the
case. Mary" said counsel.
al don't know nothing" says she, "but
I knows the dog, and he's a easel"
"Ah," says counsel, "bad dog is he,
eh?"
"He aint anything else'' said boy
witness, who was waiting his turn.
"Never mind, little bov," said the legal
man, ''your time will come after while.
Go on, Mary"
"The other day." SAYS Mary, "when
/ Ivos sthandn'-'
"Of course" saws counsel, "when you
were standing; you are always standing;
YOU are Mary STANDING--ha, ha, ha-
pretty good! go on" The court smiled
gravely.
: "When [ was standn' at the gate |
seed this ere dog make a run at Mr.. Rus
sci, and then run back; and then | seed
Mrs. Allerd and Mr. Russell a thrown'
stones at each other"
"Ah, YOU did!' says counsel.
"Yes," says Mary, with emphesis, a
little hufled at the counsers previous
joke, 81 DID,
"What kind Of dog is that of Mrs.
Alerd's!' inquired the counsel.
Hes LONG dog, with SHORT tail"
says Mary; sand he isn't exactly dog
nither-he's PUPl''
"Oh," says the counsel. esa troublesome
pup, is he not, Miss Stsndingl'
"Fve seed other PUPS" saws she, ga
good deal more so,"-and then she gave
her head significant kind Of shake at
the questioner.
"Stand aside, Mary Standing" said the
counsel. "Come up, Tom Denny
"Ies, STREE" says Tom, Juvenile
with a very moist nose.
"Order!" says the Marshal.
"Go on" says the counsel-and Tom
did.
"Do you know this dogsp he inquired
OF Tom.
81 reckon,'' says Tom.
"You reckon" says the court; "don't
YOU knowl'
"Well, | calculate ! do" answered
Tom.
s.When he run at Mr.. Russell what
did he do!'' inquired the attorney.
'IIe run'd back sgin," says Tom.
"Ah. he jumped over Mrs. Allerd's
fence in the yard again, did he!" inquired
the counsel.
mo, he didn't" says Tom.
"Ah, he went through the gate, sup
pose" saws the counsel.
"Well, YOU supposes wrong" says
fom.