Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1847-07-30
From the St. Louis Reveine
SPECIJT IN WHISPERS.
BY SOL. SMITH.


was as proud as a young cat is of her tail
when she first discovers she has one.
| was sitting one day in brokers' Office,
when jerks came in to inquire the price of
exchange on New York. He was invited to
sit down, and cigar was offered him. Con-
versation turning on the sub ect of buying and
selling stocks, a remark was made by gen.
tleman present, that he thought no person
should sell out stock in ch-and-such bank
at that time, as it must get better in few days.
Il will sell any thing I've got, if can make
any thing on it, remarked jerks.
oh, no. replied one not any thing; you
wouldn't sell your 1rhtskers i"
A loud laugh followed this chance remark.
jerks Immediately answered {: | wouldn't
who would acantthem Any person making
the purchase would lose money by the opera
ton I'm thinking
sWel,' observed, 6 I would be willing to
take the speculation, if the price could be made
reasonable
'Oh, I'll sell EN- cheap answered jerks,
winking at the gentleman present.
what do you call cheap" | inquired.
'Pll sell 'em for fifty dollars jerks answer
ed, putting forth cloud of smoke across the
counter, and repeating the wink.
'Well, that is cheap; and you'll sell your
whskers for fifty dollars"
Il will
Both of them "
Both of them
'TH take them! When can have them ?
: ANY time you chose to call for them
Very well-they're mine. think | shall
double my money on them, at least
/ took bill of sale, as follows:
Received of Sol. Smith, Fifty Dollars, in
full for my crop of whiskers, to be worn and
taken care Of by me, and delivered to him
when called for. J. JENKS.'
The sum of fifty dollars was paid, and jerks
left the brokers office in high glee, fourishing
five Central Bank KS, and telling all his &C
quaintances Of the great bargain he had made
in the sale of his whskets.
The broker and his friends laughed at me
for being taken in so nicely. Never mind,
said |, let those laugh that win I'll make a
profit out of those whiskers, depend upon it.
For a month after this, whenever | me-
jerks, he asked me when | intended to call
for my whiskers.
iii let you know when | want them,' was
always my answer. Take good care of them
oil them occasionally; shall call for them
one of these days.
A splendid ball was to be given TO the mem
bers of the Legislature. | ascertaned that
jerks was to be one of the managers-he be-
ing great ladies' man. Con account OF his
whiskers, | supposc,) and it occurred to me
that before the ball took place might as well
call for my whiseers.
One morning met jerks in BARRIERS shop
He was adonzing before a large mirror, and
combing up my Whiskers at devil OF rate.
'Ah, there you are, old fellow said he
speaking to my reflection in the glass. Come
for your whiskerS, suppose
ooh, no hurry replied, as sat down fol
a shave
always ready, you know he answered
giving a final tie to his cravat.
Come to think of it, | said, musin1 ", as
the barber began to put the lather on my face
perhaps now would be as good time asian
other, You maY sit down and let the barbe
try his hand at the whiskers'
you couldn't wait until tomorrow, coulC
you ? he asked. hesitatingly There's bal
tonight, you know
Ito be sure there is, and think you ough
to go with a clean face at all events, dom
see any reason why you should expect to wea
ma whskers to that ball 60 sit down.
He rather sulkiiy obeyed, and in few mo
ments his cheeks were in perfect foam of Ia
Their. The barber fourshed his razor, and wa
about to commence operations, when | sud
denly changed my mind!
Stop, Mr.. Barber I said, you need no
shave off those whiskers just yet So be qui
city put up his razor, while jerks started u
from the chair in something very much resem
bling passion.
This is trifling !! he exclaimed. You hav
claimed your whiskers-take them
Il believe man has a right to do as h
pleases with his own property remarked
ard left him washing his face.
At dinner that day the conversation turne
upon the whisker affair. 1t seems the Who'll
town had got wind of it; jerks could not wall
the streets without the remark being continu
ally made by the boys There goes the maj
: 1rath Old SoPS qrhiskerS i" And they ha
grown to an immense size, for he dared no
trim them. In short, | became convinced tina
jerks was waiting very impatiently for me t
assert my rights on the property. 1t happen
ed that several of the party were sitting oppo
site me at dinner who were present when tn
singular bargain was made, and they all urge
me to take the rhiSkers that very day, and thu
compel jerks to go to the ball whiskerless, o
stay at home. agreed with them it ras a
bout time to reap my crop, and promised tina
if they would all meet me at the brokers' sho
where the purchase had been made, woul
make call on jerks that evening, after h
had dressed for the ball. All promised to b
present at the proposed sharing operation /
the brokers' office. and sent for jerks an
the barber On the appearance of jerks,
was evidenthe was much veXed at the sudde
call upon him, and his vexation was certalnl
; not lessened when he saw the brokers' ofic
was filled to OVERLOOKING by spectators anxiou
to behold the barbarous proceedings.
Come, be in hurry he said, as he too
, a seat, and leaned his head against the cour
+ ter for support, | can't stay here long seve
; raj ladies are waiting for me to escort them
the ball.
f True, very true, you are one of the mana
gcrs-I recollect Mr.. Barber, don't detail
the gentleman-go to work at once
The lathering was soon over, and with 6
, bout three strokes of the razor, one side of h
tuce uas deprived Of ats ornament.
Come, come said jerks, push aheac
there is no time to be lost. Let the gentlema
, have his whiskers-he is inpatient
Not at ALL Ireplied, coolly. Pm in n
; sort of hurry myself-and now think of
as your time must be precious at this partlc,
$ lar time, several ladies being in waiting Il
+ you to escort them to the ball, L believe L
not take the other phisker Tonight"
+ A loud laugh from the bystanders and
- ! al 70