Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1847-06-11

Tom john son and Bill Jones,
DR. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DRINKERS.

1eSIeTudV morning. llkc tdlus NIdTlUS MOURN
ing amidst the ruins of Carthage, Tom johnson
with his heart full of gloom and his head full OF
the fumes of a weeks frolicking, sat biting his
nails in front of the Recorders office. Present.
ly he was tapped on the shoulder by very
So uabby man with very hroad-skirted coat. and
countenance that seemed to say" Lord !! amt
Apply !" With face cadaverous with woe
Tom johnson said slowly, civilian Jones. YOU
are too familiar; recollect where you are, sir
"Well, and don't you 'spose do know where
am? Why, you amt had no bitters this morn.
in | reckon, for your face looks as solemn as
tombstone with very old cppytoh.''
James. am brooding over my woes! -
"Tom Johnson, now you take my advice
which when Matched, produce some of the d.
dcst bantam-leggcd, rcd-eyed chickens that ever
crowed''
"What would you have me dol am mi
SCRABBLE man-my moneys gone, my credits
gone, and ah there 5 Il something that tells
me, |. too, shortly shall be gone"
"All the fault of bad Ticker"
L" Liquor do not name the poisonous
drug -
oh that men should pu, devil in their mouths
To steal their brains away !
Tom. you oughtcr be indicted for that Iol
can't 'cordin to law, accuse the devil for hookin
you know ha ha got you thcre!'
Hush, be quiet, am not in the mood
"Iknow you amt in the mood, your in the
street, and you've got fit of the red monkeys on
you" What! Red monkeys p
Reglar, ring-tailed, British sogcrs, in wer.
nv bright scarlet coats, and brccchcs to match
Explain yourself, for Heavens sake, for |
feel as though was going mad my fingers
trcmble, my brain throbS, my breast is burning
there's Kissing in my ears, and feel know
not what feel -
Exactly, all very excellent symptoms, but
there's cure, a temporary cure-.'
What is it :! Not brand
No, not brandy -whiskey's better medi-
cine. lon're an eXcired man, JET from tho
country--never been a bender, and its necessary
you should be Il leetle strung up atore COM
mence to philosophyze. Take a swig at this
there-I know'd you'd like it,"
"Thanks--I feel better--but those crimson
animals You were speaking of--they belong to
what family? what genus y
"Don't be so fast--they belongs to most fami
lies, and is the partickler property of all people
of genius. The disease, like every thing else in
this world, has too sides. There's the blue de.
wills and red monkeys and a host of smaller fry
such As spiders, snakes, and other reptiles. but
the devils and the monkeys is the roots of the
disease which must, like good doctor, strike
at in the first place
"Well, my dear Jones, 20 on-gct through
soon, please, for | feel very strange"
"Nery natural you should feel strange--but
now I'm agoin' to commence. Poor people i.
VERY much attached to the blue devils. but the
red monkeys belong to the rich blue devils i,
democratic--red monkeys arrestockratic. a,
| Hamlet said to his wiscous mamma--'look OF
this pickter and on this'--the blue and the red
A poor man, workin' hard for his Twin, and ha
vim intere.tn' family consistin' of a sick wife
aud four children, and one of them crippled. goe,
out to his business of a mornin', with a strong
arm and a light heart lie finds the shop where
he worked the night afore heap of smokin
cindcrs--he looks 50 skcered that the people pin
their eyes at him as much as to say may be he
set it attire = lie turns around to seek for worl
some place else, but no one offers him single
iob--he feels as if he had an anvil pressin
on his heart, and his throat swells up as if h
was chokin' when he thinks ofhs poor wife ant
children at home lie passes a GROCERY
there's the ticker in blue, red and yaler bottles
all seemin' to say hello old Teller, walk in an
take a drink !" lie thinks to himself one Clas,
{ can't hurt met III cheer me up, and somethin
will surely-well, I'll do it any how = Thu
lickers down, and afore night the mans afeare,
to 90 home-he drinks, drinks, and drinks, and a
last falls dead drunk on the bar-room floor. He
liked ont-zpickcd up by the watchman and i
, strong upon him, just take a squirt a. M. -.
next morning in the Recorders dock with hi
f head bound up to keep it from Dustin, and hold
! in on u the rail of the dock as if he was sea
sick -
"But, Jones, those red gentlemen that yo
, were speaking of ~
"Oh, they generally comes from the country