Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1847-10-15

&c. Perhaps had a dozen brushes, perhaps
more, "a gentleman must have as many as
that to be comfortable, you know Well, a
very free and easy gentleman reached in, and
taking one of my hair brushes, began to smooth
down his locks | said to him, kindly enough,
| thought, Sir, beg pardon, but that is my
hair brush your hair brush,' he retorted,
with sheer. Yes said |, smartIy, mine.
Your'n ? he reiterated, as if were lying
Yes, mnen | repeated We'll, now said
he, stranger, no honest man ever had so ma
ny brushes them-and uhot belongs to the
boat | shall use as much as please c-saying
this with an air that told me afght was ahead
if continued to claim what were my own
Pretty free country this, where man can't
have as many brushes as he peases.''
THE MARRIED MANS SOLILOQUY:
BY ONE WHO KNOWS.
Blast the women! They are always fret
ting about something or other! Yesterday
the coal wouldn't burn and the great must be
set; and the furnace must be repaired and
mercy knows what all and to-day its as
hot as --! Save US from the wants ofan in
consderate woman! Only let her get the up
per hand and she'll drive like bIazes! But |
won't be driven Not | ! If she wants the doors
fixed, or wool dried, or water brought, or the
Ie'ch set, or the tubs hooped, she may do II
herself! Confound it! can't go into the
house but something is wanting If it isn't
one thing it is another. I'll leave my boots
IN the parlor every night, if | have mind,
and she may help herself. See if DON'T
Well see who will be master. Before we
were married it was If you please, my
dear" But, cracky If her tone hasn't
changed She shall and shant, from week S
end to weeks end, and if | venture to put in a
word edgewise, I'm shut up by her internal
cIapper! Talk about late hours and eXtrav-
agance! Wonder what she calls late hours !
[ could stay out once until broad day Wight, and
she too, If the party was agreeable. But now
If chance to attend the club once a week,
there is pretty mess directly. And don't new
er think of her Gracious me | wish could
forget her for five minutes, ust to see how it
would seem. If young men only knew. But
no. If a man saws word he is set down for
nlnny. He must greve and bear it. if it
cuts ever so close. And oyster suppers.-
Wonder if she don't like oysters. Tell me
about the proprety of sitting down to the
breakfast table with her hair uncOmbed.-
Once she was all curls and smiles Now shes
slatternIy as washerwoman Blast the race!
They ought to be indicted for obtaining hus-
bands under false pretenses! If they'd only
show out, the men wouldn't be such gudgeons.
But no; they'll smile and slnirk and twitter I'M
til a fellow ifsfearly cought, and then, by Ju-
piter, if they don't haul down their coors.-
And then the baby tending It's worth a
fortune to be compelled TO hear the squalling
bratS, night after night. Group or choIic is
the eternal complaint. If had my way I'd
shake the choiic out of them in hurry! But
no; they must be dosed with pink and annis
and onions, and the duce knows what, and
trotted until their gizZards are fairly shaken
out; and then if any one is to be kept up
why SIocum can set up, It won't hurt him -
But Eve done with it. ! wont, that's fact
What's that you say? Mended my pants
And four new shirts, and a neckcloth Well
declare. Mrs. Socum IS clever after all Il
she didn't scold so like --; but no matter,
know | provoked her, I'll give in; Pll owr
up; I'll ---. The remainder was lost il
something like kiss. Five shirts must have
done it--for SIocum forgot to swear when ht
was asked to tend the baby
A MARRIED WOMAN'S SOLILOQUY.
BY g ONE WHO HEARD IT.
Yes, it's go! go. go go and get! get TO
everybody on earth, but ones own wife. It
should ask Mr.. Socum to go out at such ;
| time of day, for a water pail or basket OF or
anges, dye guess he'd go' Not he not he
| I might want one while and take it out Ii
wanting Oranges, iorsooth. Twas onI,
yesterday asked him to call at Williams TO
Charley's shoes Wouldn't you like to hav
heard him scold though3 If he didn't tun
up! Always something wanting WISHED
he could go to the store and back without call
ing for a dozen articles And when he cam
in ana put them on Chareys feet, slapped hin
for crying because the pegs hurt him Poo
fellow, he Iimpel round till his father ha
gone, and then pulled them off. The peg
were an inch long at the least calculation
An! now, lust because Mrs. Brown hints at
water pail, he's up and off in a minute VIII,
couldn't Brown go: Just as though her ow
! husband want goo enough to wait upon hel
I'd show him the difference, if was Brown
A pretty how'd do we shall have of it, if thing
go on this rate I'll ask Brown to do my Ell
ranIs, anil see how he likes it
If the girls only knew! But no, they won
| believe word of it! g Bought wit is tn
best, if you don't get it too dear" Dear!
won Ter what some folks call dear? There
NeilN DlF. L gu H1!Sut t'tlk 10 llel III HeA
July, and she wouldn't believe it. But She
see! She'll learn lesson for herself she.
not forget very soon.
If was a girl again, wouldn't change m
condition in a hurry! Not |. There va
Socum always ready to run his legs of-br
now-he'll sooner 60 for that Mrs. Brown tina
for his own flesh and blood
But III pay him, see if [ don't! won
get him mouthtuI of supper He may g
his victuais were he does his work! See ho'
he'll like that If should do so--always try
ing to please other folks husbands instead {
: nv own-we should have pretty kettle {
: fish. There's Willie, he's leased for an o
| ange these three days, and not the peel OF or
e has been seen yet.
Al There he comes, putting like steam boa
If had sent him he wouldn't have been bac
these two hours Calling at Mr. Brown
too, if it amt enough to vex Sllnt. ~ II
f him I'll ouit-I'lI-but no, he'll like that II
# well! The brute! =,
:. won't please him SO much. I'll stay II
}. kills me. and Willie shall have an orange
O he wants and no thanks to him either. The
Z he comes again, and both hands full: Wond
II what he has got now, and who else he is I'll
ming for Coming through the gate, and y
If - both pockets full of oranges. The :
J. dear soul | knnw he wouldn't forget
to own children. Wont Willie have a go
! meal: And [ will - yes, ne shall ma
4 f4,ns for e,n,er. Slocum loves mullins