The Somerset herald and farmers' and mechanics' register. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 183?-1852, 1847-07-20
a Backward Cow Ride.

DurIng the NeYOluuOnarY W ar, Wnen
corps OF the American army were en-
campcd near the borough of Elizabeth
town, New Jersey, an officer who was
more Of a devotee Of Venus than Of Mars,
paid his addresses TO a lady of distinc-
tiOn, whom he was in the habit of visi-
ting nightly, in the cultivation of the
kindly feelings which love so cordially in
spires. On discovery OF the repeated
absence of the officer, and of the place
where interviews with his dulcnea were
had, some waggish friends resolved to
play off a handsome trick at his expense,
which should deter him from repetition
OF his amorous visits.
The officer, it appears, rode very
small horse of the pony kind, which he
always left united with the bride reins
over his neck, near the door. in order TO
mount and ride off without DELAY, when
the business of courting and kissing was
over; and the horse always remained un-
I'll backed by the owner, without attempt
ing TO change his position. On certain
very dark night, when the officer had, us
usual, gone to pay his devotlons TO The
object Of his affections and was enjoying
the approving smiles of the lovely fair
one, his waggish companions went prl-
vaiely to the door Of the house where the
officer was, took his bride and saddle
from the horse which they sent away,
placed the bride on the tail, the saddle
on the back, and the crupper over the
horns of a quiet old COW, who stood peace
ably chewing her cud, near the spot
Immediately thereafter, they retired some
distance from the house, and separating,
raised the loud cry of alarm, that the en-
emy had landed and were marching into
the village.
Our hero on hearing this, took counsel
from his fears, and snatching hasty kiss,
lie shot ont of door with the velocity OF
a musket ball, end mounted into the sad
dc, with his back towards the head of the
.ow, and plunging his sharp spurs keen
lv into her sides, caused her to bawl out
with excessive pain, aud she darted off in
her best gallop towards the camp. The
officer still plying his spurs with all his
wine and love on board-fnding himself
hurried rapidly backwards, maugre of all
lis efforts to advance: and hearing the re-
peaied Rawlings of the tortured beast, ina
agined that he was carried off by magic,
and roaring out most Justify that the devil
had got him-and was thus carried into
the very centre of the camp.
The scntinels hearing the noise, DIS
charged their pieces and fled: and alarm
guns were hred-the drums beat to arms.
the officers left their quarters and cried,
turn out turn out! with all the strength
OF their lungs. The soldiers started from
their sleep as if ghost had crossed their
drcam-and the whole body running half
naked, formed as quick as possible in gal
lant dishabIlle, prepared to repel the terri
Die invader. When. 10! the ludicrous
sight soon presented itself TO their eyes,
OF the gallant officer, mounted on COW,
with his face toward her tail. Her tongue
hanging out--her sides CORY with the
gouging of the spurs. and he himself al
most deprived of reason, and half petri-
ned with horror. A loud roar of laugh
'sr broke from the assembled band, al the
rider and his steed-the whole corps gave
nm three times three hearty cheers as he
ooited into camp. He was carried to his
quarters in triumph, there to dream of
lovers metamorphoscs, backward rides.
s;ernway advances, and alarm Of inva-
sion, and thereby TO garnish his mind with
nialerrlls for writing splendid treatise
on he novel adventures of COW story.