Ypsilanti sentinel. [volume] (Ypsilanti, Washtenaw Co., Mich.) 1843-1900, 1847-05-05
t ssE M From the National Era.
PORTRAITS FOR THE PEOPLE
BIZ JOHN SMITH THE YOUNGER.
THE PRIVATE CLAIMANT.


| By JOHN SMITH THE YOUNGER.
| THE PRIVATE CLAIMANT.
EGE. Oh ! griefhath changed me since YOU saw me
And careful hours with Times deforned hand, last;
| Have written strange defeaures in my face:
1 But tell me yet Dost thou not know my voice !?
Contmcdy Of Errors.
| A strange caravansery is Washington boar
ding house at times The very atmosphere OF
the place is peculiar. As you push open the
door, after vainly essaYing the bell, which, like
the smooth face of the hypocrite,has no connec-
| ton with the interior, you become sensible OF
an odor strongly suggestive of the mysterious
rites of the kitchen, and the nightly horrors of
three in bed. As you pass through the dar-
kened hall. you catch glimpse of a long, mar
row table, covered with indescribably dirty lin
en-, and that ubiquitous parsonage, ''the WAITER
very diligently engaged at the sideboard in wi
ping the plates and checking the Precipitation
with anapkin whose saponaceous era has been,
it is evident exactly coeval with that of the ia
blecloth. Rushing up the staircase, in order
| TO escape from the awful eff1uvia which ascend
from the.regions below. you may not have time
to observe that the carpet is worn to tatters
By the feet of the numerous inmates, like the
stones at Tough Derg by the knees of the pill
grims, unless you may be tripped up at the first
landing, and so be compelled to pay homage to
that miracle of consistency in the city of Wash
ington-the dust covered clock, which from
time immemorial has indicated the hour of
| five.
Proceedings still farther, you have hurried
visions of piles of public documents, heaped up
in rooms where strange. looking figures, seated
on unclean beds and dusty sofas, are fercely
smoking the vilest cigars: of slip-shod women
with hair in paper, peepipg at you as you pass
one hand upon the half-closed door, and the
other carefully yelling their charms from the
profane gaze of the stranger: of squalling chill
dren, with swollen eyes and tiny arms, twis-
ting and writhing in the arms of gin-loving
''nurses;' whilst at every step your ears are as
sailed by the confused sound produced by eight
and fortyhuman beings scoIding, shouting, laugh
ing,talking screaming, singing, stalking, scream
| ing, singing, swearing; SO that you are sick at
heart, sick at stomach, and utterly bewildered,
| by the time you reach the fourth landing, anu
there, in a miserable. apartment, eight feet by
ten, find MIR. Benjamin Nudge, one of the most
redoubtable of those terrors of Congressman,
denominated ''Private Claimants"
| The first thing that strikes you in Nudge is
! that Undesirable air which distinguishes the
gentleman at large, who lives upon his means,
| and which had such charms in the eyes of
young Clutterbuck, as he contemplated the en-
| viabte Captain Dooitte. But Nudge is by no
means in such feather as that eminent perso-
mage. The truth is, Nudge is exceedingly
shabby. Not that the thought of that gives
him the least. He has long since passed thro'
the acute stage of the destructive process call
ed seedincss, and now exhibits the most exem-
plary disregard of all paltry consideration touch
| ing the state of his raiment; Nudge has round
/ faf nod h,p faco to
iniure human being, and conceives the sum
| It tai of mortal enjoyment to consis, in an I'M
| limited supply of beer and tobacco. And yet
| hundreds of respectable gentlemen can testify
to the extraordinary genius of Nudge.
Nudge became one of Uncle Sans creditors
when his uncle, old John Van Wagenen as
signed him, on his death-bed, a share in claim
against the Federal Government, amounting to
twenty-six thousand dollars, which had been
created during the last war with Great Britain
and been in allegiance ever since. Benz amin
immediately started for Washington, in order
to prosecute the claim His first business was,
to seek cut one MIR. Madison Skunk, an Office
holder from his native district who possessed,
he was told, vast deal of influence at the seat
of Government.
On the afternoon in question, Mr.. Skunk was
seated, With some half dozen members of the
House, and three or four office-beggars from
various parts of the country, in front of one of
the tayerns on the Avenue, smoking "long
nines," and making yer merry on account O.
some sgnaIIy successful maneuyre that day
at the Capitol.
"Ittakes you, Shorter, it does p said one of
the party, burly savage, with enormous whis-
kers, who was looking after a consulshp. 81
guess old Sledge' feels pretty considerably us
ed up p
'Sarved him right" exclaimed another, knock
ing the ashes off his cigar.
81 tell you the critter was struck all of a
heap" remarked Shorter, a thickset, middle
aged man, with little red eyes set close in his
head, nose, spread out on his cheeks like a
pancake, and lower jaw huge and MASSIVE as
that with which Samson smote the Philistines. |
"fie thought to come the old game on this child
but it was no go. In our part of the country |
we're accustomed to get up leetle too early in |
the morning to be chisselled by any of your SLY |
hypocrltica Eastern, canting humbugs; we're
n OF 'xacty so green The bill will pass; it |
must pass. Blazes was nicely caught, though;
that's sartin ~
s'That's fact r'said a lean-faced, solemn
looking man, shaking his head, and looking "a
round with an air of profoundest wisdom, as if
ne had just uttered most startling aphorism.
ale tried hard to bluff me off," continued |
Shorter, but he could mt come it. He squirmed |
and twisted, but wherever he turned,I was thar!
tell you, | hate that blasted old fool"-
And the speaker evinced the sincerity his af-
fectionate feeling by most diaboblical grin.
"Periectly right, 'Snorter-perfectly right y
said Slupk, a little, restless, dark-visaged man,
whose face wore perpetual sinister smile, and
who fidgeted about like a hungry mosquito
"The most disagreeable two-legged animal in
all creation is small great man, and the next
is small great mans factotum. Blazes is
ractotum-a miserable sucker"
ssSlunk, that's fact !" said the Scion.
81 feel very dry p exclaimed Shorter rising
md flinging the remains of his cigar into the
street.
The whole party simultaneously rose and fol-
owed Shorter into the bar-rpom. . s.-'s
HJake brandy-smasher. Skunk, vhat'l you
lrinkf'
4~rr~ 49, rC-l