Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1847-06-09

We find the following capital story in the
Phiiddeiphia Spirit ofthe Times, but know
not to what source it SHOULD be credited as
original
THE WAY LAWYERS TREAT FEMALEs.-l
instituted an action for large amount in the
county of -. The suit was brought up
on plain promissory note, which was as
sured was founded upon good consideration,
and was curious to know what defence
could be set up. was aware that had to
deal with a willy adversary; and when | of
fcrcd my note in evidence, and closed my
case, | was more terrified than surprised
when heard him direct the Sheriff to call
Mrs. Jackson. She appeared, and to my
surprise beheld perfect beauty; possess
inc a sweet countenance, with exquisite
form. | saw that my antagonist had formed
the same Judgment of human nature that
had, and that he was about to make the eX-
pertinent Of washing away the obligation of
a note of hand, by the tears of a female wit
ness. | knew that nothing but desperate
effort could save my client, and her testi-
mony must be excluded before she had time
to cry.
rose at once Il perceive" said |, adj
dressing the court, " that this lady bears the
same name with the defendant; therefore
respectfully request that she be placed on
the Uoir tire" This was done. "WilI
YOU be kind enough to say, madam, what
relation YOU are to the defendant"
:" Sir" answered the lady, applying a
beautiful embroidered handkerchief to her
eyes, :" ! am his injured wife"
"Then, of course, your honor, the lady's
testimony is inadmissible.'
80, very well" interrupted my adverse
ry; you wish to keep the truth from the
Jury, do you. Gentlemen of the jury, you
see that tcchnicaIitcs are resorted to, to pro-
cure a verdi t against my client. | hope
you will appreciate it, gentlemen"
BY this time the lady was beautiful rep
resentation of Rachel of old; and one glance
at the jury was sufficient to convince me
that my ease was ruined. | turned to my
client" You are gone my friend, . said |.
"Gonc!' said he, gone! my dear sir;
dent rive up my suit SO coolly. | shall be
made bcggar if lose this case, and then
what will become Of my wife and daugh
tcrsE"
~. YOU nave Ndu8llltIS, IttNt Nbu. nun
and bring them, my dear friend! If they
mine, we must countermine. Bring them,
one and alI!''
My client rushed out, and, as he lived
bit next door, he almost instantly returned
with half a dozen as pretty girls as could be
found any where. My antagonists face
fell to zero.
MAY it please your honor" began, 81
desire to offer somo rcbuting testimony"
Rebuling testimony, C! why your
adversary has not been permitted to examine
his witness. What have you to rebuff"
a great deal, your honor. The witness
has given some testimony. She called her.
self the injured wife of the defendant. In
jurcd by whom? BY my client! Injured
how! BY procuring this, the subject mat
ter of the suit, from him. Now, sir, wish
TO swear the afflicted daughters of the plain
till, against the injured wife of the defend
ant"
Here my witnesses commenced weep
mo bitterly, while several of the jury looked
on in evident commisseration. My triumph
was complete; but determined to pay off
my legal friend in his own coin.
IL donot seek, sir" continued |, "to take
up the time of this court and jury, by adj
mnistcring the oath to all these witnesses.
am afraid their heart-rendng description
of this nelarious transaction (of which, be 1t
remembered, they did know a syllable,)
would mman us all; your honor and this
intelligent jury would be tempted to inhict
summary justice upon the base wretch who,