Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1847-01-07
VARIETY.

sf1
"lighis on,i.." and says III beats Arksn-
~ ell holIoE I 2
ii man named Jones had lost bis drsx.
lag .kniie. He suspected bis neighbor
Saith 81 stealing il. aud applied 70 The
ntxl justice Of The peace, fora xsnantio
search bis premises. The Magistrate, q.
teF carefully examining lhe law and bis
norm book, could End no warrant 70 search
for drawing knives. bnt lonnd one for tor.
ksys. Alter some hesitation, be deter
mined, By 1 sirsined construction. to make
IL; cover ihe case. Said be 10 Mt. Jones.
a CANNOT fad warrant for drawing
kuiis. buta found one for turkeys. lean
rive Won warrsnisio sesrchloriuTkeys.
and II. in searching for them. you ind
yeur drawing knife. you may bring t."
AbeTn sihy. the celebrated surgeon.
audingsa large pile Of paving stones oP
pesite bis door, sEore hastily al the pa
.vior. and desired hin 10 remove hem
where shall ] take them 10 asked the
Hibsrnian. To He'll. cried the choler
Ii surgeon. Paddy. looking up 10 bis
face With an arch gria. said. 'badn't !
better take them 10 Heasenl sure they'd
81 more outotysr honor's wsyl'
ia certain physician says that young
!lsdies may try ell the intidoles 10 the
world for depressed spirits, bot till thsy
have rscourse 10 small dose Of husband,
,tey ased not hope for any long cOniinu-
% csnsslessence.
Miss Julia Long. Of iIndisna, weutfe-
gently before the Squire. 10 get married,
He 10 rather "a sbsent.minded man. and
IL going through the ceremony be said.
'Julia Longs mol your name Julia
Long g.
"Wsll, Squire. said the aniable Ja
ks. 10 reply. ~ siat ANYTHING Shorter"
NJ o. Della
4 drunken sailor 10 riding through the
streets recently. found himself seized
With % ine,islsble propensity 10 pitch
forward. much to bis annoysace, and 10
the complete sacrifice Of ell horseman.
ship. Not being able 10 rseover,his CEN
Ire Of gravity, shd far from susPecilng
that the cause was "a any way connected
with himself, he swore that the fore legs
Of the siesd must be shorter than the
bind, and actually stopped and measured
them.
JoHR. is my coffee holi"
5"Not yet. massa-me spit il him and
he No sifsls.
THE VS. AND W's.-'villian. I want
~ vig.'
'vich Wig. sirl'
'vv,my wife Wig. 10 the Wig box, vich
4 wore last Wednesday vas week. ven 4
vent to The widow Vsddle's Wedding d
4 am VERY much wexed Al your wul.
kar pronunciation Mr.. Valentine. You
should say wig. no, Wig. But II you are
going visiting. you bad better wear
your welWet.cap tina. you had on st the
las, meeting Of the westty.'
Wife. you are always Worrying me With
Sonr criticisms upon my words. L an no,
going whiting ss you have II. but am
going 10 take vsik along thesarves, and
around VI askinglon square. end perhaps 4
shall 10 q fsr - The Varler Vofks.
A dressmaket down town was yesier-
day spmmoned before justice 81 the
peace !ot selling secondhand bus,l. as
bran new. The defence was that The re-
presentation wasiiterally correct, Is il had
been newly stuffed wi,b Gran.
During . trislin the Court Of Common
Pleas, al Boston the o:her day. one ofths
COUNSEL ia describing % lbe jury the ge-
nssous qualities Of bis client. remarked
that his breast Wa OVERLOOKING with the
milk 81 human kindness Why. gen.
;ilemsn. says be, in ihis respect. be l. .
IpsFieet new milca cow
Rather siup. who Is that fellowf'
said lady The other day. in The street. 10
. esailsmnn Who vas 10 company win
her. tspeaking Of an impuden looking fell
AoN. Who scru,inised her loo sharp 10 be
polite. - be passed
OH said her male companion. he is
>sAssd care,
should rather think. she replied.
>sis start-esse.
s1Wii1ess ras on his sxani-
s.n~ 8 800 IF justice The lawyer
liruily 81 vision "a sn en'olsunale o q
BOYS snssers direcH k,ons % . .se ~
Soics. Alter wh,le. ihsE,s,sn e me
sel cid. Look Il his honor nee eoun-