Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1847-04-16
From the Cincinnati News
PRACTICAL JOKES AND BAD LIQUOR
BY rnE Ex.rRENcH EDIroR.

II Is we'll known fact that oftentimes both
those Jokes which are called practical'-and
the liquor which is termed ''bad,,'' have been
productive of exceedingly evil consequences
but whether the liquor or the joke has done
the most mischief, we are not called upon Just
now to determine. We propose to make men
tion of an affair where bad liquor and prac-
teal joke were productive OF the very best
consequence imaginable.
Many years ago, while the State of Geor-
gia was still in its infancy, an eccentric crea-
lure, named Brown, was one of its Circuit
Judges He was man of considerable abili-
ty, OF in1exible integrity, and much beloved
and respected by all the legal profession, but
he had one common fault. His social quail
ties would lead him, despite his Judgment. ~ IN
to frequent excuses In travelling the III
cult it was his almost invariabe habit the
night before opening Court, 10 get " comfort
ably corned," by means of appliances COM
mon upon such OCCASIONS. II ne couldn't sue
coed while operating upon his own hook, the
members of the bar would generally turn in
and help him.
1t was in the Spring OF the year; taking his
wife-a model of woman in her way-in
the old fashioned, but strong " carry-all,'' that
he iourneyed some forty miles, and reached a
village where g Court" was to be opened next
day. 1t was along in the evening of Sunday
that he arrived at the place and took up quar-
tiers with relation of his 'better half" by
whom the presence of an official dignitary was
considered a singular honor. After supper
Judge Brown strolled over to the only tavern
in the town, where he found many old friends,
called to the place, like himself, on important
professional business, and who were properly
glad to meet him.
"Gentlemen," said the Judge, "'tis quite
dong time since we have enjoyed a glass togeth-
er-let US take drink all round OF course,
Sterritt, addressing the landlord) you have
better liquor than you had the last time We
were here-the stuff you had then was not TIT
to give dog
Sterritt, who had charge of the house, pre-
tended that every thing was right, and so they
went to work. 1t is unnecessary to enlarge
upon a drinking bout in country taVern-it
will quite answer our purpose to state that
somewhere in the regions of midnight the
Judge wendell his very devious way towards
his temporary home. About the time he was
leaving, however, some younger barrsters,
fond of "practical,' and not much afraid OF
the bench, transferred all the silver spoons OF
Sterritt to the Judges coat pocket.
1t was eight o'clock of Monday morning
that the Judge rose. Having INDUCED in the
process OF ablution and abstersion, and parta.
ken of a cheerful and refreshing breakfast, he
went to his room to prepare himself for the
duties of the day.
Well, Polly" said he to his wife, " fee
much better than expected to feel after thai
froIc of last night"
All, Judge" said she, reproachfully, "yor
are getting too old-you ought 10 leave OF
that business
All, PoIly-whats the use of talking"
1t was at this precise instant of time, tina
the Judge, having put on his over-coat, wa
proceeding, according to his usual custom, t
give his wife parting kiss, that he happen
ed, in thrusting his hand into his pocket, tt
lay hold of Sterritts spoons. He jerked then
out. With an expression of horror almost in
describable, he exclaimed
My God Pollyp'
" What on earth's the matter, Judge p
&C Just look at these spoons
g Dear me, where dye get them"
"G Get them Don't you see the initials OF
them"-eXtending them towards her-'' | stol
them"
Stole them, Judge"
I" Yes stole them
My dear husband, it can't be possible =
from whom %
" From Sterritt, over there, his name is o.
them"
Good Heavens how could it happen %
''Iknow ve-y we'll, Polly was very drum
when | came home, wasn't %
why, Judge, you know your old hab
when you get among those lawyers"
" But was very drunk ,"
Yes, you 1ras'
"Was remarkably drunk whenI got home
Mrs. Brown"'
"Yes, Judge, drunk as fool, and fort
times as stupid
GO / thought So" said the Judge, droppin
into a chair, in extreme despondency-''
knew it would come to that at last. | hav
always thought that something bad woul
happen to me-that | should do somethin
wrong-kill somebody in moment of pas
sion, perhaps-but | never imagined that
could be mean enough to be guilty of delibe
rate larceny"
& But there may be some mistake, Judge -
g No mistake, Polly. know very we
how it all came about That fellow, Sterrit
keeps the meanest sort of liquor and alway
did-liquor mean enough to make man d
any sort of mean thing. | have always sal
it was mean enough to make a man stea
and now have practical illustration of tt
tact'-and the poor old man burst into tear
Don't be u child,' said his wife, wiping
way his tears, &c go like man over to Sterrit
tell him it was little bit of frolic-pass
OF! as joke-go and open court, and nobod
will ever think of it again.
A little of the soothing system operated VI
on the Judge, as such things usually do; h
extreme modification was finally subdue
and over to Sterrtts he went, with tolerab
face. OF course, he had bat little difficulty
settling with him for aside from the fact tn
the Judges integrity was unquestionable,
had an inkling of the joke that had been pla7
ed. The Judge took his seat in court, but
was observed that he was sad and meloncholl
and that his mind frequently wandered fro
the business before him. There was Lac
of the sense and intelligence that usually cha
aCteTiZed his proceedings
Several days passed away, and the busine
Of the court was drawing towards clos
when, one morning, rough looking sort of
customer was arraigned on charge
stealing. After the clerk had read the indie
ment to him, he put the question:
Guilty, or not guilty.?
"Guilty-bm drunk" answered the prsont
Whats that plea % exclaimed the iudg
who was half doing on the bench
g lie pleads guilty, but says he was drunk
replied the clerk
What's the charge against the MANI"
He is indicted for grand larceny"
whats the case ~
May it please your honor" said the pro
ecutlng attorney, ''the man is regularly indi