Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1847-09-17
THE GEORGIA CENTAUR.
How Abs lem Nippers cum to leave tb,
Settlement.
BY MAJOR JOS. JONES.

How Abs 6 len NipPers cum to leave the
Settlement.
BY MAJOR JOS. JONES.
ABsOLEM NIPPERS was widower. and one
of the pertIcklerest men perhaps that ever liy
ed, though some OF the people sed that when
his wife was alive he used to dress as COM
mon as field hand, and didn't use to take no
pains with himself at ALL In his own settle
ment he had monstrous bad rame. pcrtick-
elerly among the wimmin, who used to saw
that he didn't allow his wife more'n one dress
year, and as for new shawl or Eonet, the
poor woman didn't know nothin about SIGH
things. Everybody noticed how he spruced
up about SIX weeks after Mrs Nippers died.
and how he went to church regar every Sun
day, but they didn't have no confidence in his
religion, and used to say that he only went to
show his new suit of mournin, and to ogIe
the gals. Old Mrs. Rogers hated him like
pisen, and said she didn't wonder that his
pore wife died broken hearted and as tor his
pretendin to be sorry about it, that was all
sham, for she could see plain enuff at the flu
neral that he had one eve in the grave and
the other on the gals that was thar, irwin to
pick out one of 'em for wife
With SIGH a character among the wimmn.
of chance of gettin another Mrs MINERS
near home, and whether he was as bad to his
fust wife as they sed he was or not, one thing
was cerain-he had to look abroad for some
one TO fill her place.
Mr.. Nppers was very lucky in fndin a gall
Jest to his mind, what lived about ten miles
from his plantation. Nancy Parker was rich,
and though she wasn't very young nor yery
handsom, she belonged to Mr. Nipper's chuTch,
and filled his eye exactly; so he sot to coliIftin
her with all his might
Ten miles was good long ride, and as he
was a very economical man, he used to ride
over to old Mrs Parker's plantation every
Sunday mornin, go TO church with the family,
take dinner with em, and ride home in the
cool of the evenin. In that WY he managed
10 Nil too birds with one stone, that is, 10 ad
vance the prospects OF his happiness on this
earth and in the world to come, at the same
time, without lOsln any of his week day
time.
A ride of ten miles, on hot Sunday NOR
min, over dusty road, is very apt to soil a
gentlemans goods, as well as make him
and his horse very tired Mr. Nippers didn't
mind the fatigue so much as his horse, but in
a matter SIGH as he had in hand, it was verv
important that he should make as good an ap-
pearance as possible, so he adopted plan by
which he was able to present himself before
the object of his affections in applepy order.
with his new Sunday cote as clean, and his
bloomin rufiie as fresh and neat, as if they
had Jest cum out of a bGndbox. This was a
happy eXpedent, and one what nobody but a
widower-Iover would ever dreamed of. He
used to start from home with his new coat
ola n Irt n
chief, and after rilin within about quarter of
mile of Mrs. Parker's plantation, he would
turn off into a thicket of chenkapin bushes,
whar nobody couldn't see him, and thar make
his rural toilet
One bright Sunlay mornin, Mr. Nippers had
arriv at his dressing ground. 1t was an impor-
tant occasion. Everything was promsin, and
he had made up his mind to pop the question
that very day. Their was no doubt in his
mind that he would return home a engaged
man, and he was reck onin over to himself the
value OF Miss Nancy's plantation and nggers.
while he was settin on his horse maxim his
accustomed change of dress
He had drapped the rains on his horses neck
what was browsin about, making up for the
last nights scanty feed from the bushes in his
reach, and kckin and stompn at SIGH flies as
was feedin on him in turn.
I'll fix the business this time ses Mr.. Nip
pers TO himself. CPL bring things 10 the pint
before | go home this night ses he, as he
untyde the handkerchief with his clean clothes
and spread them out on the saddle bow.
''Who, Balln' ses he I've only lest got
to say the word, and-who,' ses he to his
horse what was kckin and reachin about
g Who you cursed fool you-and the bisness
is settled jest It's slick as faIIin off log
He was DRAWN his shirt over his head, when
Ball Civ sudden spring what liked to made
him losse his balance. ssWho!' ses he
but before he could git his arms out of the
sleeves Ball was wheelin and kickin like ra.h
behind. Down went the clean clothes on the
ground. "Blast your internal picter,-who,
nowr' ses Mr. Nippers, grabbin at the rains
But before he could git hold of 'em Ball was
off like streak of lightnin with whole
swarm of yeller jackets round his. tail.
MIR. Nippers grabbed hold of the main and
tried his best to stop his horse, but it was all
no USE Away went the Infatuated Ball, and
takin the road he was used to travellin, anoth-
er moment brung him to the house. The gate
was open, and in dashed the horse with the
almost naked Nippers hangin to his neck, hol-
leElu supp MN hcCu MIN hornets DIS
loud as he could scream. Out cum the dogs
and after the horse they went, round and round
the house, scatterin the ducks and chickens,
and tarritying the little niggels out of Their
senses-the noise brung the wimmin to the
door.
Don't look, Miss Nancy! Hornets =
koch him !" shouted Nippers with what breth
he had left, as he went dashin out of the gate
again with the dogs still after him, and his
horses tail switchn about in every direction
like young hurrycane.
Miss Nancy got but one glimpse of her for
lorn lover, and before she could git her apron
to her eyes she tainted at the awful sight,
while his fast recedin voice cryin ''hornest
stop him hornets !-hornets!" still rung
in her ears.
She never seed her devoted Nippers agin.
The Settlement was too full of hornets for
him after that What BEGUN of him no body
knows, but it's generally believed that he tur-
ned into Centaur and is gwine to this day
hornets !.-hornets 20