Eaton Democrat. [volume] (Eaton, Ohio) 1843-1856, 1847-07-22
ladies DEPARTMENT.
fhe Government Of Hnshands.

tX -NSeouuot
"Dpnt tell me- said Miss Gifip,
"kiaaness is thestfue killer. often il.
lustl PIE the agreeablsfact, for in Cap.
slcu1n House, rno natural object is lost
upo4AE. For instance, last Tuesday,
whlAfthe milk punch class was on, an
enormous wasp came like a LilIiputian
dragon, into the room, and flew from
girl to girl. Immediately they began
to scream. own it; this is the sad
weakness | have to fight against; but
somehow, girls consider screams as a
property they're born to. Some of the
girls flew at the wasp with handker-
chiefs, and that little rebel, Miss Fluke,
~seized,a fire screen. Feeling that the
time was coming for me to show my en-.
ergy!l exclaimed with all my natural
vigoH Silence, ladies! silence, for a
morafHnd an examplen-my usual mode
of speech when about TO submit any
natural object to a social, or, | should
say to a conjugal illustration.
ga moral and an example!' cried the
girls; and, excepting that Fluke--they
werelas still as mice.
Being me the salad cruet,' was my
command; and, with a thought, the SAL
ad crpet stood on the table,.
CHOW, young ladies'" observed, ia
king . pen, 'now for the moral and ex.
ample. You are here TO be finished for
sensible, affectionate, and above all, con-
trolling wives. You are here to learn
how best to subdue your natural ene-
mies--:hat is, to govern the men who
may become your husbands. Yes, la
%dies-+for somehow Il can always tell) I
felt the flow of my words was coming,
and il was not for me, as a woman, to
stop f-yes, ladies, the Grifinian sys.
tenn will teach you how to control and
cAerthrow your tyrants. Man marry
ing us, puts a gold ring upon the third
finger, and, in the arrogance of his
heart, makes US, he thinks, a blushing
captive. And shall not man, also, wear
azrins-<seriae} e.,h~-shasnr AT
this point, Miss Fluke proposed three
cheers, but with u look and a brow o.
thunder, | stopped her. 'If,' said l
I'VE mast wear his ring upon our finger
let him-and not know it, poor wretch
for that's the true triumph--let hin
wear eur ring in his nose.' Here Mis-:
Fluke jumped upon a chair and huzza
ed, and-this time | did not attempt tc
suppress the natural burst of delight 81
honorable TO their feelings--all the 9th
er girs joined in the shout.
"'A ring in his nose,' | repeated, mo
the Bit Of shining gold that declares GU
slavery, but an invisible, a fairy ring
that like a fish with a hook-he know
knothiog about, only that he must fol
low wherever it pulls him. Bless you
my dears!'
"And, dearest madam asked Mis-
, Pebbles, a girl | have the greatest hope
of, 'deaest madam, how IS the nose o
our natural enemy to be rungF
"'Listen,' said |, listen and attend
and you shall have q moral and an ex
ample
"'When the wasp now in the win
dow entered the room, you flew at i
with all kinds Of violence. | wonder i
didn't sling every one of you. Now, il
! future, let a wasp, when it comes, hav
J its little bout, and make its little noise
q do'at stir q muscle-do'nt move a lip
0 but be quiet as a statute of Venus, o
: Dina, or any body of that sort, until tn
wasp seems inclined-as at this momen
to settle. Then do as | do now
= Whereupon, dipping the feathered en-
of the gen in the cruet ofsalad oil, | al
g preached the wasp, and in the softe'
. and tenderest name possible, just ole
. it uponhthe body--the black and yeuoy
y llke. GsSnms' waistcoats-when down
felt, turned upon its back, and was dea
in a minute. There girls said ], 'se
what kindness--what a little oil doe
Now, here's my moral and example,
d When Husband comes home in an i
humorN ko'nt cry out and fly at him; bl
e try a little o%il--in fact, treat your hui
= band like a wasp"