The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1847-11-13
st. JOhnsbury, VT November 10, 1S47,


cuIiarity Of his person or calling. In the
present case, the debtor, who was n cooper,
was designated by the rude picture of II man
III the act of hopping IL barrel; and the article
charged, there being but one item in the ac-
count, was placed Immediately beneath, and
represented by shaded, circular figure,
which the plaintiff said was intended for
cheese, that had been sold 10 the defendant
some years before.
''Now, Mr. Justice" said Bunker, after eX-
planning, in direct off hand manner, his pc
cullar method Of book keeping, snow, the ar
ticle here charged the man had WILL and
do swear TO il; for here ii is in black and
white. And having demanded my pay,and
he having not only refused it, but denied ev-
CT buying the article in question, ] have
brought this suit 10 recover my just due. And
now | wish TO see if lie will get up here in
court, and deny the charge under oath. If
he will, let him; but may the Lord have mer-
cy on his soul"
"Well, sir" replied the defendant, prompt
ly rising, "you shall not he kept from having
your wish minute; for here, under oAth,do
swear, that never bought or had a cheese
of you in my life"
"Under the oath ofGod you declare it, do
your" sharply asked Bunker.
81 do, sir" firmly answered the other.
looks Of establishment, 81 would not have be-
lieved that there was u man in all the Horn
Of the Moon who would dare to do that"
After the parties had been INDUCED in the
usual amount of sparring for such occasions,
the justice interposed and suggested, that ms
the ouths OF the parties were at complete is
sue, the evidence of the book itself, which
he seemed TO think was entitled to credit,
would turn the scale in favor of the plaintiff,
unless the defendant could produce some re-
butting testimony. Upon this hint,the latter
called up two Of his ncighbors, who testified
in his BEHALF that he himself always mndc IA
sufficient supply ofcheese for his family; and
they were further knowing, that, on the year
of the alleged purchase, instead of buying,
he actually sold considerable quantity of
the article.
This evidence seemed to settle the ques-
ton OH the mind ofthe justice; and he now
soon announced, that he felt bound TO give
Judgment to the defendant for his costs.
Judged and sworn out of the whole of it,
as am sinner" cried the Disconnected Bun
ller, after sitting moment working his rough
features in indignant surprise; eyes, fairly
sworn out of it, and saddled with bill of
cost 10 boot But can pay it, so reckon it
up, Mr. Justice, and we will have it all squar-
ed on the spot. And, on the whole, am
not so sure but dollar or two is well spent,
at any time, in finding out fellow 10 be a
scoundrel who has been passing himself off
among people for an honest man." he added,
pulling out his purse, and angrily daehng the
required amount down upon the table.
SNOW, Bill Bunker" said the defendant,
after very coolly pocketing his costs, "you
have flung out u good deal of your stuff here,
and have bore it without getting riled n
hair; for saw, all the time, that you--correct
MS folks ginerally think you-that you didn't
know what you was about. But now it's all
fixed and settled, am going jist TO convice
you that am not quite the one that has
sworn to perjury in this ere business"
"Well, we will see" rejoned Bunker, ey-
ing his opponent with look of unmingled
doubt and defiance.
"Yes we WM Sec" responded the other,
determinedly; ''wc will see five can't make
you eat your iown words. But want first
to tell you where you missed it, When you
dunued me, Bunker,for the pay for a cheese,
and said never had ono ofyor, You went
off little to quick: you called me .liur, be-
fore giving me a chance TO say another word.
And then, / thought | would let you take
your own course, Till you took that name
back. Ifyou had held on minute, without
breaking out so upon me, should have told
you all how it was, and you would have got
your pay on the SPOT; but"
"Pay'' fiercely interrupted Bunker, "then
you admit you had the cheese do you?"
"No sir, | admit no SIGH thing" quick
ly reioined the former, "ior still say ]
never had cheese ofyou in the world But
| did have a small grindstone of you at the
time, and at Jest the price you have charged
for your supposed cheese, and here is your
money for it, sir. Now, Bunker, what do you
say to that?"
"Grindstone- Cheese--cheese-g rindstono"
exclaimed the now evidently nonplussed and
doubtful Bunker, taking Il few rapid turns a.
bout the room, and occasionally stopping at
the table to scrutiniZO anew his hieroglyphi-
cal charge; II must think this matter over a.
gain. Grindstoue--cheese--c hcese-grnd-
stone. All! have it; but may God forgive
me for what have done! 1t i0Gs a grind
stone, but forgot to make hole in the mid
die for the crank"
Upon this curious development, as will be
readily imagined the opposing parties were
not long in effecting an amicable and salts
factory adjustment. And, in a short time.
the company broke up and departed, all OBJ
viously as much gratifiod as amused at this
singular but happy result of the lawsuit.
As soon as all had left the room but Bun
ker and his sons, Locke, perceiying that the
others now seemed to expect an announce
ment of his business, at once proceeded to
make known the object ofhis visit.
"Ah, indeed" said Bunker. in surprise. as
he keenly ran his eye over The rather slight
proportions ofthe other. "Why, had sup.
posed, all the while, that you were some
young sprig of the law, who had scented out
our foolish little quarrel here from distance
and had come TO see whether the court, like
the monkey judge in the fable, would work
up all the cheese himself, or leave enough &c
afford nibble to lawyer. But have you
really come to offer yourself as master fol
such school as ours?"