Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1847-05-21
TOM Johnson AND BILL JONES.
nn rHr DIFFERENCE nETwEEN pRINKERs.


Yesterday morning, like Caius Marius mour-
ming amidst the ruins OF Carthage, Tom John,
son, with his hart full of gloom and his head
full of the fumes of weeks frolicking, sat
biting his nails IN front of the Recorders ONCE
Presently he was tapped on the shoulder by a
very souabby man with very broad-skifted
coat. and countenance that seemed to say,
Lord amt 'appy!'' With a face cadave-
rous with woe, Tom johnson said, slowly,
I" William Jones. you are too familiar; recall !
lect where you are, sir.' ~
Well, and don't you 'spose | do kryBw
where Lam Why, you amt had no EAters
this mornin' reckon, for your face looks as
solemn as tombstone with very old ep-
pytaton it,
Jones, am broodng over my woes p
Tom Johnson, now you take my advice
never brood over your woes-woes is eggs,
which, when Matched, perduces some OF the
d-dest bantamlegged, red-eyed chickens that
ever crowed"
What would you have me do? am a
miserable NANNY moneys gone, my credits
gone, and ali there's a something that tells
me I, too, shortly shall be gone"
"All the fault OF bad Ticker"
Liquor do not name the poisonous
drug -
Oh thatmen should put devil in their mouths
To steal their brains away"
Tom you oughter be indicted for that
You can't, 'cOrdn to law, accuse the devilfor
hooking wot never was even Satan can't
steal vacuum, you know ha ha | got you
therep'
g Hush, be quit, am not in the mood
" know you amt in the mood, you're in
the street, and you've got fit of the red mon
keys on you"
"What Red monkeysw
''Regler, ring tailed, British sogers, in wer-
ry bright scarlet coats, and breeches to match
Explain yourself, for Heavens sake, for
feel as though was going mad my fin
gers tremble, my brain throbs, my breast is
burning, there's kissing in my ears, and I
feel know not what feel %
Exactly, all very excellent SYMPTOMS,
but there's cure, a temporary cure ="
what is it Not brand"
&c No, not brandy-whskey' better med
icine. You're an excited man, list from the
Country-never been on bender, and its ne
cessary you should be leetle strung up afore
l commence to philosophyze. Take swig
at this-there-I know'd you'd like it,
Thanks-I feel better-but those crimson
animals you were speaking of-they belong
10 what family what genius p
Don't be so fast-they belongs to most
families, and the particler property of all
people OF genius. The disease, like every
thing else in this world, has too sides. There's
the blue devils and red monkeys, and host OF
smaller fry, SIGH as spiders, snakes, and other
reptiles, but the devils and the monkeys is the
roots of the disease which | must, like good
doctor, strike at in the first place"
"Well my dear Jones, go on-get through
soon, please, for feel very strange"
every material. you should feel strange
but now Pm agoin' to commence. Poor people
Is very much attached to the blue devils, but
the red monkeys belong to the rich blue dew.
Ills is domOcratc-red monkeys arrerstockrat.
&c. AS Hamlet said to his wiscious mamma
look on this pIcter and on this'-the blue and
the red. A poor man, workin' hard for his
livin', and havin' interestin' family consis.
TN OF sick wife and four children, and one
of them crippled, goes out to his bisiness Of a
mornln', with strong arm and a light heart
He finds the shop where he worked the night
afore heap of smokin' cinders-he looks so
skeered that the people pint their eyes at him
as much as to say maybe he set it afre p
He turnes around to seek for work some place
else, but no one offers him a single iob-he
feels as If he had an anvil pressin' on his
heart, and his throat swells up as if he was
chokin' when be thinks of his poor wife and
children at home! He passes a doggery-
there's the Ticker in blue, red and yaller bot
o ties, all Seemin' to say hello old Teller, walk
IN and take drink p He thinks to himself
zone glass can't hurt me-itll cheer me up
and somethin' will surely-well, I'll do it any
hOwp The licker's down, and afore night
the mans afeared to go home-he drinks,
drinks and drinks, and at last falls dead drunk
on the bar-room floor. He's kicked out-pic-
ed up by the Waterman, and if you want to
see man with the blue devils strong upon
him, just take squint at him the next NOR.
ming in the Recorders dock with his head
bound up to keep it from Dustin, and holdin
on to the rail OF the dock as if he was sea,
sick %
But, Jones, those red gentlemen that you
were speaking of ,"
Oh, they generally comes from the coun
try. see one young man as had the rec
monkeys very bad. He was one of the dou
bic ks, and wasn't used TO drinking, but hi
thought by way OF variety he'd just 60 on fro
lie, so about Eleven o'clock one mornIn' he com
menGed with a julep. A friend came in ant
asked him to Jine him, and afore they haC
done drinkin', a third Teller, who was HI TO
fighting, swore that they should take glas
with him. Well, the young man begin Il
feel pretty lively, and some one who dropped
IN by accident proposed game of cards. A
1t they went, and afore twelve that night on
werdant young friend had lost all his daddy
money. and was, as his companions remarked
'glorlously corned.' The next mornin' h
woke up with cold shivver, and saw a long
somethln' crawlin' right over his breast. Liz
hghtnin' he jumped out of bed, and there, RICH
over the wash-bowl, sat tall red monkey
looking at him very seriously. Down stair
ne went and told the landlord, who went III
and saw the young mans red flannel drawer
on the wash-stand, and found that the snak
was nothin' but his suspenders ~
What did they do with him?'
They bGstered and bled him-sweate
him and doctored him alsorts of ways-but :.
died !"
"oDied p said Tom, with horror-sdid h
die from that flannel red monkey ~
g Yes, he didn't do ANY thing shorter an
so will you if you don't leave off drnkin'."
" But why don't you die-you drink
great deal? '
Z" cant-Fm matyr-I'm a kind of
wanderin' Jew of blue devil-come, let's g
and take a drink
And the Red Monkey and the Blue Dev
went to the nearest grog-shop.
AN INTERESTING REMINISCENCE.-The Mon