Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1847-10-01
ABOUT AN UMBRELLA.


6 It became our solemn duty day or two
since, to announce to the world, that an UNI
breila was IN our charge, awaiting the owners
attention. We grieve to say, that while we
were proud TO be an instrument of virtuous re-
form, yet it was season of sore persecution,
and also of much tribulation.'
'Misthdr editur, we've and ould umbrella
iv mine, | underthstand'
what sort is it"
wal, to be sure, for the matter Nv that it's
not so much any how--its iist cothen, bit
brown about the edges, and durty sort iv a
white on the top, jist where it faded, sure and
there's hole or two, may be about as big as
me hat, and wan iv the things kalel bones
which is iv wood, is broke, and he the same
| token, it was done by hitting Mrs. Dinnis
over the head till bring her till reason, and
Never mind, dear sir, it is not your UNI
brella, for it is silk and new
Cant stop sir-if yours is Gotten, then
(Enter deviD Waiting for copy sir
well wait then-here is "a
AN yell not show me the umbrela?'
Cant stop, sir; got copy to WI
6 Is this the Editors shop''
yes, madam, walk in. Ephraim, hand the
lady chair; be seated madam
Lady sts-a leg of the chair gives way,
and down came the lady with tremendous
crash and shriek-all hands rush in TO rescue
her-and after thousand explanations and
| apologies she is accommodated with seat on
the dead paper barrel.
& am sorry to distarb you sir, but my son
has lost his umbrella, and paid big price
for it, to take 10 Havana, where he is going
as supercargo to sloop, on account of his
health, which is very poor, and his aunt Ma
riah says he may be-
'DeviI-'Copy sir
Clear out p
4 don't wish to disturb you sir, but I'M
der
$ Is this the Office of the Star"
yes sir
{ see that you have am
where's the editor ah, good morning, I
hope that umbrella you mentioned this NOR
nlng. is the one -
Mine Got, vat crowt Val now, myn-
heer ash you ish got mine ombrel-'
Gracious me, can't getin here! | want to
see the editor. Where is he-eh, that him
Looks more like an owl than an editor. But
want to see that umbrella, that is
Ell bien! mon dieu begare shall get to
dis vot you call Won enbrolla, nevare {, Mon
sieur, shall tell you Won two tree word de
tam umbrella shall lose on de-
All hands waiting for copy sir
Good people have patience. If you will
Just range yourselves against that wall two
deep, while we get little copy for
Good morning. Mr. Star | see you prob
badly have my umbrella just the description
lost it last
you advertise an umbrel-was black silk
with Stand back, here are four ladies
want to come in, and seven boys, all that UNI
- has it an ivory to" Can't you just
hold it up?'
30 dear, don't push So Open the door if
you pl-' Copy sir Where's the edi-"
Bow wow-wow ki-i-yi-eyen Kill that
dog-what scrouging time MIR. Editor
do
Ladies and gentlemen! silence do Isl
lence! silence! keep quiet! There now, if
you will just be still moment, we will get
the umbrella, and hold it up where you can
see it, and if the owner is here, he or she can
gentlemen be quiet now. There now, there
yes that's it. In rushed the crowd the editor
was knocked over, his coat torn, one boot
patch stolen, the umbrella ripped into fifty
pieces, the ladies were roughly handled and
shrieked vociferousy, and horrible confusion
reigned supreme until aid came to clear the Of
fee The devil has not been seen since, and
on hearing stifed groan in a corner, we step
ped up there and found Ephraim had captur-
ed the Dutchman in the melee, and was indus
triously at work in the corner choking him.
AS Mynheer arose, with face like red
beet, and gasping for breath he gave a pro-
found snort, shook himself, opened wide his
mouth, and grunted out-Ugh dunder and
bitten; cot tam where ish dat umbrel !"
After this, people will please bring no UNI
breIlas, but deliver US from ever again having
a found umbrella in our sanctum 1t was
madness in the first place. Bring US no more
lumbrellas-BOstOn Star.