Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1847-06-17

A Suckers VISIT TO THE THEATRE
I"Well, lve been thar, Jim," said Sucker
to his crony.
"Whar, down to Sent Louis - inquired
jim.
DWELL, no whar else" was the answer.
"and Pve seed some on the durnedest things
you've ever heerd on in the hull animal
creation"
"What wur they like? - inquired Jim.
ooh, all sorts of doins mixed up sorter
every way, but the thing that just tuck me
straight war SEEM a flying acoman! AFTER
the flat boat wur hitched, sot to lookin'
round, and poorly soon ] seed on big boss
bills, stuck agin houses, that Teller named
Dan Soos war going to cut up some of the
tallest kind Of shindys. war natralIv
bound to find out What it war like, so axed
a felIar readin' it, and he laughed-he said
it war ony the Me-a-ter. Says |, that ar
show, amt it? And, said he, it ar, but it
amt no circus show, nur animal show, nur
slight of hand show nuther, but all sorts
OF handsome show, held in place big as
our county seat courthouse. Jest made
up my mind I'd go ten cents straight. !
found out whar they kept it, and up goes,
but thar they told me the lowest notch wur
a cool quarter. That staggered me, but
gin it. Root or die when you're in fur it,
ses |; SO up | goes the alfredest lot of
stairs; thought arter spell I'D come out
somewhat near the moon but by travelin'
spell got up whar lot of folks wur.-
1t looked tome like meelin' house, with
three gallerys, and lit up like all out Of
doors in day light. A lot of felIers fiddled
! could see whar that Teller Dan Soos wur; ;
and jest as wur gon' to ask chap whar
the show wur, up rolled the hull side Of the
house. right afore me, and out slid gal on
her tip-toes, whirlin' about like as if she
couldn't keep down to the year,h. The
way she handled her pins jest sot me rear
in; it beat Mary Sellers all hollow, and she
amt slow. ! asked Teller next me who
she wur, and I'll swar if he didn't say it wur
Dan Soos! which, instead of being mans
name, wur French fur dancin' woman. !
didn't notice at fust, but arler spell seed
the reason she couldn'; keep from jumpin';
it made my har kind o. rise; she wur not
ony a angel-lookin' creatur, but, Jim, you
kin believe it or not, boss, I'll declar she
had 1rings!''
''Here,' says Jim, "you kin jest take my
hat''
II know'd no body would believe me-"
said the Sucker, III Jest know'd it, but I'll
, swar seed her take hold on the tip of her
wing, spread it out, and jest fly like bird
clean across the hull side of the house. A
, Teller wur chasin' her, but he couldn't shine.
. She shuck her toe at him, and slid right out
! of sightn'
"Thar," says Jim, ''that'll dol know'd
you could do pooty we'll at lynn, but that
? last effort kin take the cakes''
~ Amt goin' to tell it any more, but III
: swar seed ito
"Seed thunder - shouts Jim. "You seed
what the Doctors call olfactory collision.
I st. Louis Rereizhe
Two colored gentlemen in the West,
went out postum hunting, and by an acct
dent found large cave with small emit
rance. Peepng in, they discovered three
young bear whelps in the interior. ''Look
heah, SAM said one, "while goes dar,
and gets de young bar, you jest watch heah
, for de old bar" Sam got asleep in the sun,
when, opening his eyes, he suddenly espied
the old she bear scrouging her way into the
cave. Quick as wink, he caught her by the
tail and held on like blazes. "Hello,'' dar!'
. said Jumbo, in the cave; 'hello, dar, Sam,
what darke de hole dar - s'Lord bless You.
Jumbo, save yerself, honey, for if dis tail
cum ont, yeu'll soon find out what darke
: de hole 10
WoMEN.-W omen are better than men
What sacrifices are they not capable of max
ing; how unselfsh are their affections; how
abiding is their love! They enchant US by
i, their beauty and charm us by their CONVEX
. saion. They add grace and softer color
ing to life, and assist us to bear with its as
perties In our youth they are our instruc-
tors; in sorrow our comforters; in sick
ness the sweet beguilers of our misery.
!. Whatever is rough, in us, they refine
Whatever of ruggedness there is in our ma
) ture, they polish or remove.
d Among the various beautiful natures, that
of maternal love should be noticed with Pc
culiar admiration. have heard of woman
haters. and am told that such a class of be-
:, ines do exist But surely they who hold
the sex lightly, and who are accustomed to
speak of them in terms of reproach, can
never have been spectators Of the watchful
' tenderness, the anxious solicitude, display
! ee in thousand touching incidents of a
. mother of child.
They can never have witnessed her self
sacrificing devotion to her offspring, her pa
tient and cheerful performance of the labor-
Gus offices of educational training, or their
tongues would falter in the utterance of one
word of detraction.