The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1847-03-26
THE sTasNnlNG CANDIDATE.
MS RxcvsK ron BEING A BAcHxLuRs.

MS RxCvsK FOR BEING A BACHELOR.
A Sketch from a New Yorker shortly 10 be
issued in Carey e. Harris "Library Of Amsr
can Humorous Writers, ealitlsd "S,rsaks Of
Squalier Life and Far west SCENES" by Jno
s. Rebb, Esq, Of 81. Lsuis, author Of ''Swal.
lowiag Oysters Alive"
At Buffalo Head, Manga county, state d
Missouri, during tho canvass Of 1874, there
was held an extensive political Barbecue, ano
the several candidates for congress, legisla
iars, county officers, &c, were all congrega.
led at this southern point for The purpose Of
makna an imsense demonstration. Hards,
SETS, wings and Tyeriles were represented,
aud 10 hear their several exposilions of state
and general pelicy, vast gathering Of the
Missouri sovereigas bad also assembled.
While ths impaiien, candidates. were await.
ing the signal 10 moant the ''s,amp," an sdd.
looking old man made his appearance at ,hs
brew of a small hill b'anaing tho place %
meeting
.Hurrah fer old Sugar! shouted an hun
dred voices, ga speech fiom Sugar"
aAgrsed. boys" said the old man, "I'll jest
gin yeu few word TO wind up with, so keep
quiet while your daddy's ,alkn'.
Some tell it out jest like song,
l'll gin II to yoi sweet and strong.'
The only objection ever made to me in
this arr county, us aslegsla.ur,' was made by
the ,oimin, cause war bachslor, and
never told aloro why remained in the state
sfnumbsr ens--no feller stays single pro.
msdi,stsd, and, in course, a hansum felle.
like nae who all the gals declar' to bc as en-.
tiein' as a jay bird, warn't goin' TO stay alone
Of ho csuld helpit did see creatur' once
named Sefy Mason. up the Cumberland
aigh onto Nashville, Tennessee, that tux an
eiful hankerin' arter, and sot in 10 loek,n
anxious fur matrimeny. and gin to 60 reglal
to meetin', and TUX TO dressin' trenengeous
6nifed, Jest to see eff could win her good
opinion. She did gil TO lookin at me, and one
day, cumin' from meetin', sho was tskin q
look at me kind efshy, jest as a boss does a
suthin he's scarf at, when arler cbampin' a,
a distance fur while, sided up TO her and
blurtcd out few words about the sarmin'-
she said yes, bu: cdss me ef know whether
that wur The right answer or not, and l'rn a
thinkin' she didn't know then nuthcr! Well
We larfsd and talked leete all the way u
long to her daddy's, and thar | g n her The best
bend had in me, and raised my bran new
lat as peert and perlite asa minister, lookin'
all the time SO eniicin' that sot the gal
.rsmbln'. Her old daddy had powerful
numerous let Of healthy niggers, and lived
right admin my place. while OH to,her side
lived Jake Smons--a sneakin' cute varmint,
who wac wusser than miser fur stinginess'
and no sooner did this cussed sarp;nt see ma
sidlin' up to Sofy, than he went 10 sllckin
up, too, and sot himsclf TO work 10 cut me
out. That wara struggle ekill TO the battle
efOrleans. Furst sum new fxup. of Jakes
would take her eye, and then I'd sport suthn'
that would oulshlne him, until Jake at last
Gin in tryin' to outdress me, and set TO think
In of suihin' else. Our farms wur just the
same number Of acres, and we both owned
three niggers apiece. Jake knew that Sofy
and her dad kept sharp eye out fur the
main chance, so he thort he'd clar me out by
huyin' another niger, but Jest follerd suit,
and bout one the day arter he got his, SO
be had no advantage thar, he then got cow,
and SO did !, and jest about then both on our
passes gin out. This pat Jake to his wits
eana. .Sal w.- -;r' ~hst = ~