Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1847-08-26
humorous Selections.
From the Cincinnati Signal
The Lost Ticket, or a Frenchman
in a Stew.

In returning from trip TO the Lakes a
lew days since, l witnessed little affair
that makes quite an item in my note book,
and may amuse your readers. Among the
passengers was little Frenchman, whose
| baggage consisted of querely shaped hat
box and faded silk umbrella, moving rest
Iessly about with the hat-box in one hand
and the umbrella in the other, pouring forth
an uninterrupted stream of incomprehens-
Bile English, in way sufficiently ludicrous to
amuse two crowds. Suddenly the little gar
lie worshipper discovered to his utter dis
may, that he had lost his ticket, purchased
at Buffalo and warranted to carry him safe
through to the Henrie House in Cincinnati.
Here was a predicament and in the con-
sternation of the moment he dropped both
his hat-box and umbrella, and vociforated
loudly and in razor-grinding tones for the
stage agent.
"Vere is de stage agent!-Vere l shall
md de agent! Oh mon Dieu-my gar--I
have pay one-two-four-several-great
many dollars for Won tickets vich [ have no
got Who have peek up my teekets-who
have find him--vere is de agent p
1t happened that Mr.. L, the gen.
temanly Stage manager, and out door bu-
siness man of the Cincinnati Theatres was
one of our passengers, and at the time of
Monsieur La Frogs deepest distress was
standing in the moonlight in front of the
Circus talking to number of friends, when
some mlschlevous wag pointed him out to
the little Frenchman, as the stage agent
In moment he was by the side of l.
and breaking in upon the conversation with
out any ceremony, exclaimed, Sare, | have
loose my passport have loose my-,at
you call hint Ell ah, yes-I have got him.
No no, mean | have got de ting-I mean
have got de name of de ting, have lost
my tickets" -
! l., who knew nothing of the circum-
stances, supposng that he meant Circus
ticket, stepped up to the attaches of the
Circus, procured ticket, and handed it to
the excited Frenchman
In the morning. soon after breakfast. we
were all comfortably seated in the cars. and
tearing along at break-neck speed Frenchy
sat close by me, and jabbered necessarily.
Shortly after the Conductor entered, with
the usual salutation of Tickets, gentle
men," Our little friend opened his pocket
book, took out the ticket he had received
the night before, and presented it to the
| Conductor
This is not the right ticket, SIR"
! Ees no de right teeket yes Sairc he is
de right ticket; | have got him from de
stage-agent, myself"
"That don't alter the matter, sir. l tell
you that amt the proper ticket, and if YOU
don't produce the proper document before
we reach town, you'll have to pay your
fare"
He was just about to assassnate English in
reply when a benevolent individual. who
sat next to him, explained, as well as he
could, the true nature of the case This
only had the effect of changing the current
of his rage, and he chafed up and down the
floor, showering invectves upon the head of
the agent, who had given him the ticket the
night before.
"Ah yes, by gar, | have now see-I
have been sheat-I have been swindaiIe-
| have been vat you call de hum-buq-but
nevaire mind, | sail return yesterday-to-
Notwithstanding, and shastise de dem
rascal vera much, great deal, several time"
While laying this hattering consolation
to his wounded SOUL his eye happened to
rest upon poor l., who sat quietly at
the far end of the car-and recognizing him
as the stage agent of the night before, he at
once opened upon him."
" Sare: you are vera great scoundrel,
and sail give you five cent to black my
boot"
What's that, sir ?"
say you are Won rascal--von leetaile
puppy dog viz out de tai-you have peeked
my pockette-you have sheat me-you have
no geeve me re tickets vich pay for-you
have no geeve me re tickets vich | have
loose-but You have geeve me Won dem teek-
T cts to to de Opera la chcral-vot you call
de horse opera-de dem Sarecuss"
4" Sir" said L, rising from his seat
in evident indignation, "what do you mean
How dare you apply the word pickpocket to
me 2"
" sail soon show you vat l have mean
i mean TO fog you'll mean to shas-
tise you, vera much" and suiting the action
to the word, he pitched into his antagonist,
and, before the bystanders could separate
them, had badly dislocated poor LIS
shirt collar, and drawn a copious flood of
claret from his nose BY dint of persuasion
and force combined, however, he was final
ly seated in front of the car, surrounded by
number of the peace-makers, who after
much difficulty convinced him that the
whole affair originated in a mistake, He
then begged to be conducted to l., who
was busiy engaged in saturating the third
handkerchief in a vain attempt to stop the
red current that still persisted in oozing
from his victim nose.
"Sare, have see | have make Won lee
tale, small, great big mistake. l am yer
sorry for him. On my honaire, sar, if [
have known him before, sail not have weep
your nose; but | am ready to make de
apologlze-to make amende, and for every
drop of claret which have draw from your
nose, ] sail, wiz plaisaire, put Won bottaile
: in your belize"
Here the loud mirth of the by-standers
restored l. to his usual good humor, and
joining in the laughter, he shook hands with
f his antagonist, and they were friends,
A recent entry in the day book of the
Henrie House, runs somewhat thus
MONSIEUR LA FRoG;
? Baskets Champagne
q Rask ets Ciaret