The Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1846-1852, 1847-10-22
AlisfrIIanrons.
TOO Good Looking for service.

AVV OOUu AOORHbb AOt SCitiCcs
One Of the boys what's Just come home
from Mexico, was telIin' crowd of fell
lers tother evenin' about thewar and how
he fit at Mounteray:
"Thunder," SCI he, "you may talk a.
bout your yeartquakes, and sich, but |
can tell you what, boys. the real gene
wine scrimmage like we had at Mounte-
ray, is worth all the fourth of Julys that
was ever knocked into one. Thar aint
( in creation like it. Gettin' tight on bran.
Idy-smashes makes feller feel pretty
considerable elevated for awhile-its
very inspirin to man of active imagina-
ton. But if you want to feel taller than
a shot tower, bigger than an elefant,
stronger than jack -ass--if yer want to
feel like you could pull up tree by the
roofs and brush all creation into the king
dom cum with the brushy end of it-if
you want TO see better, hear further, hol-
ler louder, jump higher and step further
and quicker than you ever did in your
life, all you've got to do is jest to take a
kand with old Zack at them internal
Mexicans, and be ordered up to the pints
oftheir lances and bay'nets like we was
at Mounteray."
did you everfeel skeered, Bob?"
"Skeered, the thunder!' sez he, ~
didn't have time to feel skecred To-be
sure Idid feel little skittish when |
seed I'VE was gwinetohaveit sure enough.
-Per'aps did feel a little weak inibe
jints when seed the officers unbuttoning
their shirt collars, and the men throwing
away their canteens aud-haversacks, as
they was marchin' up to the works, whar
the greasers was waitin for us, every
devil with his gun pinted and his finger
on the trigger-I know'd they was
lgwyne to let us have it and ! felt mon
strous Uneasy till il cum. But when it
did cum when | heard the balls whistle
round my head, and seed the dust hyin'
from the pavement whar they struck
when the whole street was in a blaze of
fire, and the men was drappin round me
| like nine pins after a ten s.roke-when
the roalin Of cannons and the rattlin' of
mus kets the squealin of horses and the
shouts and groans the men was all mix
ed up so couldn't tell one from tother,
never thot ofnothin' but gettin at the
cusses what was hid away behind the
walls and piles of rubbish, in the houses,
on the roofs and in the cellars, a given us
particular gosh"
"You didn't feel afraid none, then?'
1 ax'd little fellar what hadn't shut his
mouth ortuk his eyes off the speaker for
ten minits.
"'Fraid the mischief! How could II
Wasn't old Zack thar on his old mill hoss
Iprancin' round among the platoons and
columns, givin' his orders like nothin was
the matterl All, boys, game like his is
ketchen' just like the measels, and one
look from old Zack when he's got his dan
dur up would make woman fight like ar
wild cat. He'sthe man fghtvolunteers
! Thar's no need of standin' army wher
he's in command for he'd make the green
est volunteers that ever shouldered &
musket stand agin the hui Mexican ma
tion. led on by all the ginerals they car
muster The boys knews he don'ineve
surrender, and they don't never think o
sich thing themselves.
WASN'T you monstrous glad whel
your time was out, Bob, SO yer could Gun
home2"
mot by no mems l wasn't. Id hav,
: staid till now if it hadn't been for ole
Scott"
"Why, don't youlike old Scottl"
"To be-sure | Ido--he's fust rate oil,
feller and knows how to lick the Mexi
cans, but didn't suit him 2
"How was thatl"
"Why, you see the GineraPS got pret
ty wellinto the heart ofthe country nov
: right in among the wimmin, and h,
says be don't want to enlist any more goo'
lookin' men. He ses he amt Altered 0
all the Mexicans that can bear arms, be
! cause he knows his men won't surrende
to them but he says he don't like to rs
$ 'em to the arms of the Mexican gall:
: who never fails to lay seige to the hear
ofevery good lookin volunteer they q
! their eyes on. And, boys, Mexican bu
: lets and lancesis hard things to dodge
but look out for the black eyes of ther
!, senorters, as they call them-you mough
Q as well try to bid defiance to streak c
! lightnin, ifyou happen to be good lookil
q enough to draw their attention" !"
$50 then, it was your good looks tha
n prevented your stayin' in Mexico7"
Globe sure it was. They wouldn
0 give no bounty to good lookin' men SO
: cum home"
T"Got a paper 10 spare?'