Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1847-07-22
nj | sc E i l. A N Y.
HOW JEDEDIAH WAS SUCKED In.

lis the squire to hump inquired an eongate
individual yesterday who pushed his head into the
Recorders office. 1t being about the dinner hour,
none of the officials happened TO be .to hum ~ but
couple Of citizens, who were lounging inside. in
vlted him In and inquired his business
"Well," says he, in beautiful nasal, INV bu-
sness amt much. but du tell me which is the
squire"
''He Is at dinner, sir" answered one of the pair
"but If you have any thing very urgent we will
send for him."
well, 4 amt got much In perckler," answer
ed the eastern man ''but jest this mornn' Il Teller
from the jinin' Stale of Illinois played me one of
the alfiredest mean tricks Eve hearn on lately''
What was 1t like 2" inquired the listener.
swell, 1t want much like any thin" says he.
''but an a-crealed suckin Where is that
squire 2" he burst out again '.I'll hev the mean
crItter Jerked into Jail if it costs me dolLls' -
What did he do ~ persisted the questioner.
"Well, twan't much, of any thin except a sell,
said he; and then breaking out again. he eXclailn-
ed, 'Oh, Jedediah Dexter! that any thin cute as
you'er allowed tu be should be draw'd in tn sech
trade by yaller-ookin', agucshaken', corn-rasin'
sarplnl as tina, Teller"
WAS he Sucker?' inquired the gent
"Well, ne want much else" said the afflicted
mourner, 'and the fullest grown one I've seed
iately-cuss his pictur!"
but you have not told us what his offence
was, continued the other
no" said he, 81 amt and what's wusser a
earned SIGHT, I'm ashamed to-a creation that
shud been so teetotally green swow. - saws he.
starting. 81 beve won't tell it-I'll lest let the
mean varmint slide. 1t won't bear tellin' on
why, ef they should heer ii down at Connecticut,
couldn't never show myself at any futur' thanks
givn In them ATTITUDES; they'd holler meal at me,
jest as quick as they'ed clap eyes on me'
.f()h. y shputed 10Th l;e.o,or, ..ro,, 49,
not going TO leave without enlighening us, now
that you have raised our curiosity"
"NelI, guess 1t won't hurt you much ef YOU
don't heer II" said he; and he was about TO move,
when one OF his auditors informed him that it was
absolutely necessary that he should stop and LODGE
his complaint, for that evidently some wrong had
been committed, and if he kept silent and allowed
IL TO pass unpunshed he would be conniving at the
evil, and thereby make himself liable.
SIS that the law, you 2" inquired the bitten conf
plainant.
Both listeners sgnfed the affirmative to his
query.
"Well, don't want to go agin law much ;" said
Jed, $50 you can hev the hull upshot of this III a
mint, aud you'll allow it's nifty mean Illinois
fesief this mornln' walked into my shop where Pm
marchlndlsin' alongside on thelmarket and cot to
dlckerln some butter with for groceries and O.
ther notions. His pots Of the cows grease were
very nice oH Vop, ana tasted like new Ullk drteI
spring grass; 1t JUGS tuck me all of heap, and
bargln'd for all the criter had and sot tn sellin
him the little fiXens in exchange He looked SC
eternal soft, and sawneyed round so alfred green
that didn't once hev dreamin' of the critters
ben' tricky so the trade was did Up nifty short
and he travelled. Well, jest mint since tern
ed pot out tn sell customer some, and swan tt
man eff two thirds on it want an min meal dunn
hn'W
A burst of laughter here broke from his auditors
and, as they appeared TO keep on at it, instead o
sympathising with Jed, he raised himself proud,
up under his load of injuries, and moved 10 the
door.
"Ah! ha, ha t-injin dumplins, all, ha =
shouted one of the convulsed listeners, as Jed wa,
rereating.
"You needn't take on So" says Jed; for c
he don't think Of his sins when he swallers tina
tea sold him, then Pm mistaken in the yarb.-
| Its parfectly awful on mans bowes-speciaIl,
when he amt used TO it, and, amid shout a
laughter, Jed disappeared, cotigratulatng himsel
on at least being even.
| A person looking at some skeletons the other da,
asked young doctor present where he got them
lie replied" We raised them"
A golden couch brings no relief to the victim {
disease, and splendid fortune adds nothing to tn
comfort Of fool.
| II is stated that the forests Of Assam, in BIRTHS
India, are capable Of producing India Rubber suff
Gent to supply the demands of the civilized worlC
1 81 H., Il