Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1847-07-08

remarked iocose old fellow at the same time
casting mischievous glance al her. "l3e-
fore rising in the morning, she says, 20, dear.
must getup, but don't want To. After break
fast she adds. ''Well, suppose must go to
work, but don't want TO- and she goes to
bed, saying, There, have been passing all
the day, and ha,n'; done anything"
Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice
and wept'-Scripiues
If Rachel was pretty girl, ard kept her
face clean, we can't see that Jacob had much
10 cry about.--.N L. Globe.
How do you know but she slapped his face
for him.---.N. q. Delta.
'Are you an Odd Feiimc?' NO, sif! I've
been married a week. i mean do Won be-
long TO the Order of Odd Fellows2' NO. no
belong to the order oil Married Men. 'Thuu
der how dumb Are you .'Iasot,?' No;
/ am a carpenter by trade Worse and
worsel Are you Son Of Temperament
'Confound you, mol | am son of Mr.. John
Cosliug = The querist went on his way
with something Of a flea in his ear
Why's AND WurSs.-Why is pig in a par
lor like house on fire Because the sooner
its put o,d the better Why is the sun like a
good loaf? Because IT'S light when it rises.
Why is bIrd greedy creature Because
it never eats less than a peek Vixen is a
fowls neck like a bell When it is ring for
dinner. Why isn't boy like pretty bonnet?
Because one becomes a woman, and the
other don't
A school boy, being asked by his teacher
how he shouIdhog hun, replied lfyou please.
SIR, should like to have II upon the Italian
system Of penmenship--the heavy strokes
tptcards and the down ones light
'Give me a sixpence, MIR, -. to buy
bread said conSumptive liue urchin, yes
;erday, to friend of ours. why don't your
father buy bread for you ? said our friend
Cause he amt got no money!, said the boy
Why so?' said our friend, does he ever get
drunkp We'll, said the young hopeful, he
don't do anything else'
A despairing swain, in fiji Of desperation,
recently declared TO his unrelenting lady love,
that il was his firm determination 10 drown
himself, or perish in The attempt
An Irishman who had bl;stered his fingers
by endeavoring to draw on pair of new boots,
exclaimed, Faith, believe shall never get
them on until wear them day or two
This is world of business and hustle y
said a minister IN a sermon. Yes. but more
hustle than business whispered pretty girl.
She knows.
Somebody-that voluminous author, writes
thus; The best way to get along with woman
is, to keep them rel lored all the time. Nvo.
man can never be satisfied unless she is loved
TO death. Keep her mouth stopped with kiss
Is, and she cannot scold,'
A traveller, with his wife and child wishing
10 secure deck passage down the Ohio, made
application TO the Captain IN the following
terms -:
Gaping, ale YOU the mate 2 To be sure
not, but what is wanting?' What do YOU
charge for deck passage for three Of us down
20 Cincinnati -Four dollars EACH -Four
dollars each But that's dear Well, Cap
ting, do YOU eat us, or do we eat ourselves p
You eat yourselves, TO be sure
A druken fellow. recovering from danger
Gus illness was asked, whether he had not
been afraid orineeting his God 2 NO" said
the poor pagan Christian, Il was only atcerd
o rUther chap"
Some wag gives the following capital def
DItlon oil legislative OouY. Legislative AS
sembly--a circus, where each Of the perfor-
lners rides on his own hobby. and takes his
turn al playing the clown.
Women deal largely in secrets. We've
heard of secret down in Portland, which was
so big that il required all the women in town
to keep il; and then they could not 10 SO
without the help of their husbands.
Talk about your Alexanders, your Bona.
parties, your Washingtons, your Taylors,
and your Santa Annas; the negro who carries
the target behind a military company upon a
shooting excursion, is the man-qftcr aa
I'il bet sheep, SAID old Tom Walker TO
his better half, that our boy tlric is goin era
zy-ior he Is srinning 1.-THE plough, and he is
grinnmg at the corn crib, and he is griuning
at the table and ne is grnnng to himseIt
wherever he goes
'Poh' replied aunt Polly. don't YOU know
he got a love letter this morning
4 see you're on the watca as the thief
sail tg the Guard cham