Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1847-01-14

eoeIel - oytor.
Psis.-Well. what be De eomfogiR
6ambo.-Why Dc two million dollar
Polk AZ Congress 10 give him last sum.
meF, te hand obeT 10 Santa Anna But
gusss Msssa Polk dent eotch Congress
ssisep daliims-he didn'i got De sinners.
Tail yshi yah!
Ia The streets OF Leicester one day,
Dean Swifi was sccosied By drunken
wssysE who staggering against bis revtr.
sncs. said II have been sPiOning il out"
-"Yes." said the dean. Fl see you have.
and you are reeling j, home"
Prize Coavndrwm. "A gold watch vai-
: usd Il $40. was awarded TO the following
ee1undrum 81 o coReert in Philadelphia
on Christmas night.
"Wby are the audience here assembled,
ihe Children Of the igi that aluminates
Ills hsllr
An..-B.eause the iigii is spparen,
e parent 10 them.
We also annex one Of the rejected:
why i . Christian like the prize
watch r.
because with good works be marks
tAs progress Of time"
AkRcDoTE.-This 10 400 good 10 be
lost. A quick willed topper went into a
bsr-room and called for something 10
drink In NeG York.
We don't. sill liquor said the law
abiding landlord-'We will gips you a
glass, and then il you l~aol TO buy a
cracker we'll sellit1sr three eenis.
Very well. said the Yankee customer
hand down -FOUR decanter.'
The good creature was handed down.
aad eur hero look siif hora when turn
Ing around to depart. the unsuspecting
landlord hsnded bin the dish Of crack +
sH. with the remark. YOU will buy :
cfsckerf
'WslI. no. 1 guess mol you sell 'em
toe dear. ] can gel lola on EN- Eve or
six for . cent any where else
"Well. Colonel, how have the worms
ssfysd youi"
.0h. not 80 bad as you might suppose.
hear great many complaints about their
ravages. bull don't think they have been
half 90 bsd>ss some OF my neishbors rep
resent them"
"You do not. ehl Well. I'm glad 10
hear IT,
"No, they ere not sorery bad, after ALL
Il vent into my Geld some days ago, when
they were about attheir worst took
negro boy with me be. had on a shirt all
cotton mine was only part cotton. They
eat OF the boys shirt, butthey didn'test.
him, and they left ne my shirt collar, DO.
som aud vrist-bsnds. They haven't been
bad with me a ALL Matches Courier
Weak WhiskeyI-Soms time since, Two
or three men. walking from Glasgow TO
Dumbsrton. stopped Al public houssto
get some refrsshnent. il happened 10 be.
en- . stday. and ell the people Of the
house we're a the church. except . girl
One Of them ssksd for gill. which they
cot. and another asked fof some water.
loot says the girl. its no needin'
any wafer, for my master water d il weelj
aiors be gaed ava 10 the kirk T q
Geod-Ah Eastern paper gives an ac-
sount Of the robbing Of dandy. His
lodgings were robbed Of . pair Of s'svs, .
smelling bottle. two pair Of artificial eve.
6roWs. and white surtout. insihe pocket
Of which there were three love letters, TO
himself. in bis own handwriting.
A CouRr soxER The following rich
seane rscenily occurred in one Of the
courts Of justice, between the Judge end
dutch witness al the way from Roller
dam
Jsdss--.Wha.'s Jour native iau.
Rs,aes,-'iI pc no native. L, DoO,eh
msa."
yudst--"Whs,'s yosI mother touguesr
Riinsss-'O, she pc ell tongue z
jude Go On irritable lone "Whaf
language did you speak in The cradle r.
Wiinsss-.l did cot speak no language
10 The cradle a sll; 4 oaly eried IN
DeofsAK'
Thea lhsrs wss . general laugh. in
Z Uhich The Judge. jury. and audience jain.
cd. The witness was interregsted no far.
Thy sbeut bic native language.
Ger IL AT LAsr.-oSs Mr.. House Of
Nsv York. has invented I machine for
wrising With The ElecsSie Telegraph.
which produees perfect and besa'lfslly-
icrussd printing letters. - rapidly and
viii e much ease % dos aud lines are
nads ~ Tie rssissernou ia use:
ALARcn Hoc.-Mr. William Or aeat
Lsuisloun ID Frederick equally. slsagh
isrs1 hog a. The Is nit. raised By him.
pbieh ua, 7 fssl 3 inches ia lrneiA. 6
fsss inches 10 eirih. 3 feat 81 inches
eish. sn4 usighine 69sl Ibs. This VA.
Aisi.liy ,pkois kos - Fred. Eraninsr.
Fz.slr. = $3.50
lneissebbsl carriage wheels y We been
l1ifodlesl d Esnden They koibrourh
ne streets without making noise. 50
thnl ehildss. and pigs mar Sc ruh over ID
he most delicate manner possible.