Ypsilanti sentinel. [volume] (Ypsilanti, Washtenaw Co., Mich.) 1843-1900, 1847-03-24
From the New Orleans Picayune.
CUT DIRECT.

CUT DIRECT.
A tall, raw -boned countryman bounded like
an Indian rubber ball into the Recorders office
yesterday morning, with his head done up in a
blood-stained towel, from which flowed san
culinary stream, crimsoning his face and broad
expansive shirt collar About his neck was
large table cloth or sheet tucked under his shirt
collar, floating in the wind, and this also spot
ted with blood. Following him in rapid sue
cession were three negroes, the foremost of
whom was In shirt sleeves and bare -headed,
and had evidently been assisted in his advent
by the adventitious circumstance of the coun-
tryman's hand closely and firmly clutching his
cravat and shirt collar, and with determined
purpose that would have him black in the face
OF Nature herself had not been beforehand in
the field.
"Is there law in this Office, Judge, or amt
there? Is blood to be split and the offender
go clar or not P inquired the countryman, and
as he did so he gesticulated by jerking the
prisoner backward and forward.
''Ihis is court of justice, sir" replied the
Recorder, moving the Bible little on the desk
before him.
"Then set you down you internal sconndrelr'
exclaimed the countryman, as he settled the
prisoner on bench with greater quickness
than gentleness. sJudge," he continued, 81
amt boss stealer, and it's hard to wear the
brand: | never stole nothin' more than apples,
and that's long time ago,and the idee of hav-
in folks pintin' their fingers at me when walk
along the roads, inquire what bosses is worth (?
amt as pleasant as it might be-ther'd be
fight right away"
'But why should you suppose anybody would
accuse you of such a crime 2" inquired the Re-
corder in amazement.
"Why, because that cuss there has gin me
the mark, and if there's law in the parish want
him punished, and if there amt he'd better have
been bonn black snake at once than come
within tweety-seven rods of me F. and he ele-
waited his fist in rage.
''What has he don9?" asked the Recorder
"has he struck you."
81 shouldn't think he had replied the COM
plainant with sardonic grin-''if he had he
would not hev been here; but he has done a
worse thing-he's MANNED me. This here's
what he's done to me-may the everla stin' and
continual blaze of the devils kitchen fire brile
every atom of grease out of his COMPOUNDED
black-walnut hide p
With the expression of this demoniac wish
the complaint proceeded to unf old the bloody |
towel that bound his CORY locks, disclosed
mass of coagulated blood and hair clipping, |
covering his left ear.
"Look here, sir - he northumberland the |
strong man wept in the bitterness of his
heart"
"You have been stabbed, sir p said the Re-
corder. 'fOficer, take that black fellow into
custody"
"No, SIR said he of the rueful countenanee
shaking his head sorrowfully and gazing alb
stractedly at reporter.
"Oh never shake your CORY locks at me -
Thou canst not say did it p exclaimed re-
porter with walking stick like shrivelied
and frost-bitten sugar cane.
'.No, sir; don't DON'T" said the country
stuck me; but Il tell you just |
how it happened, and he'll find afore get thro'
hat he's ketcbed the wrong pig by the earl
My hard got rather long, and when seed
steaked pole stickin' out afore door, thought
I'd GO in and have about pund and half took |
,f. Well this ere varmint told me he'd cut it, |
md sot down. The fust thing he did was to
lie me up into this sheet,so tight that couldn't
breathe scarcely. / told him to cut it short
behind, and if he'd a-shaved it he couldn't have
ook it off higher to the skull: but didn't mind
hat cause | knowed it would grow agin. By'n
by he cum to trimmin' it off round the ears,
md every now aud then I'd feel the sharp pints
# his scissors jabbed into me. 1t made cold
hill run all through me, and l told the Teller
o be keerful or he'd hev my eye out; but he
moved he'd got me tight, and kept on. My
lar anint none of silkest, cause it amt accus-
omed to no particular trainin' and don't get
,rease often, andi was considerable labor to
lush it out. By'n-by he got to comm the sci
ntifics clost to my left ear, and trust he'd gin
snap, and then he'd rattle the scissors as if
e was a-tryin' to cut away the air insteado
lar. This sort of science made me SILVER
est as if Ihad the chils and fever on me, and
kept a-winkin' and blnkin' for fear he'd poke
he pints into my eye.
told him to let me be, hat my hair was cut
ust rate, and was Altered I'd ketch cold if l
ad too much taken off at a time, but he only
rinned confound him, and kept a-snppin' a
7ay. Finally he gin one almighty clip, and
,ok the entire top of my ear clean off tho't
was killed for sartin, and he blood did pour
ut bad. expected was goner, and Jest
rabbed the Teller by the throat, and made
nsh to where / seed an open razorbut the 9TH
r niggers all got holt on me and hustled me
ut of the shop. He hollered for help and l
offered for doctor, but / never lost my holt
n him, and some gentleman told me I'd better
ring him up here-and here he is, and here's
~ carr :
So saying be took from his vest pocket a
lece OF MS edr,dDOuC quarter vi dill HILL piodu !,
nd on inch in length and deposited the inani- !.
late peace of gristle upon the Recorder desk.
lad he produced juvenile grizzly bear from
is pocket. it could not have excited more
veiy curiosity or desire to behold than did the
reduction of this small portion of "the human
,rm divine"
The unfortunate barber protested that the
circumstance was as accidental as unfortunate.
ut the unhappy man who had been "eurtailed
f this fair proportion insisted that it was a
beer case of intentional barbarity, and that the
erpetrator should feel keenly the retributive ,
low of the sword of Justice, which can shave
S closely as one of his own razors. The Re
order, evidently considering the affair seria-
{ one, committed the barber for examination.
he victim pocketed his ear with melancholy
and Indignantly expressed it as
is private opinion that the BARRIERS of New Or
cans cut it little too fat for the American
eopc.
"iSome quadrupeds," solemnly remarked