The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1847-03-05
% From the New. Yerk Sunday Mercury.
A SHORT PATENT'SERMON.
I My text, this morning; is contained il

a SHOkr PATENT SERMON. +" \
My text, this morning, is contained in
these words: t,ss.sil le iistiai ittaais
4 How selveless is woman. m
/ How tender is woman!
i How loving is woman
I 14 How childliks is woman! 81
My hearers---sure enough, how solveless
is woman! she is an unguessable riddle--a
most intricate enigma; flower which, by
analysing, no one can tell TO certainty
whether it be poisonous, or innexieus---not
always. She has been with man from the
beginning, and he hasn't, found her out yet.
She is comparatively an unexplorsd country
--an alphabet Of hieroelyphicsaLa magnetic
mystery Nobody knows what her heart
contains. Sometimes it seems stuffed with
love, tenderness, and sympathy; and at
others, filed with nothing but grit and gravel.
1t won't answer to shake her; if you do,
you cause the acids and the atkalies in her
nature to come in contact; and then such
an eRsrvescence takes place as, might lower
the ambition of pearash and cider. Like the
month Of April, she is all sunshine and
showers Many tear-drop Of hers dries
and evaporates in the warm light OF smile,
ere it has chance TO fall and many bright
SMILE is suddenly quenched by a sprinkle
from some passing cloud Of sorrow, about
the size Of Hed.blanket. Griefs bubble up
from her bosom, 20 burst in an atmosphere
of Joy; and joys, ike autumnal flowers,
spring from the warm GeSs of her heart, 10
be cut down by the sudden frost of grief A
queer compound is woman! She is made
up Of industry, boldness, beauty, silks, satins,
jealousy, love, hatred, horse hair, Wholesome,
pie,y, paint, gaiety, gum-elastic, bears grease,
sympathy, tears, smiles, affection, and kind
hess. She talks with her tongue, speaks
with her eyes, is eloquent in her actions, and
yet can't understand her.
/ My friends-how tender is woman! She
is as tender as a chicken, and as tough as
an old gabler. She must be screened from
the hot summers sun, sheltered FROM storms,
aud protected from the blast of winter--and
yet, if she makes up her mind to it, she can
outsweat the sun, face nertheaster, and
be match for the devil. But inwardly she
is as tender as the mercies Of heaven; her
heart is as much softer than he humans as
beeswax is softer than a brick-bat Hel
sympathies are as delicate as the down under
an angels wing, and her love appears as fresh
and unfading amid the sorrows Of adversely,
as tho aver9reen wreath mat encrcles the
bald brow of Winter Her tenderness is
too tough te,be destroyed by whatever chance
fortune, or time may bring: tough as tripe.
and twice as common.
Ny dear frends--how lofty is woman
NJ aottar nh hothor hnr,, in ,ol1os ,Lo o..,
sometimes be as lofty as garrett. When
she once ge.s her back up, o cats and
broomsticks look out for yourselves! She
is as high as Olympus and as savage as a
sausage machine. In her wrath, she is as
crazy as bed bug, as strong as tiger, and
as terrible as a tornado. Sbs can blaze
away as though hell, heaven, and earth were
! coming to close quarters; but, in few lao.
ments all is overland nobody killed. When
+, she comes down from the mountains whence
she has been rolling big stones upon people
t below---sofens down 10 jelly, and be.
comes as iquiescent as goose pond after q
!, tempest. The breeches won't ft-she mus
g resume the pettieoat, and be q woman, af,eI
:. ALL .tgs F
My hearers-hov loving is womani Aye
she is amazingly sticky in her attachments
= She will cling TO the chosen object Of hel
heart like 'possum to gum tree; and yor
> can't separate her without swapping strings
8 that no art can mend, and leaving portion
: Of her soul upon the uppsrleather Of her af
y fections. She will sometimes see something
y to love where others can discover nothing
= even to admire; and, when her fendness il
! once fastened upon fellow, it stays there
! like glue and measses in bushy head o.
y hair. s ., st@
! My hearers--how childliks, withal, 10 wo
y mani A playthins herself she is fond o.
! every plaything in the worlds great oy-shop
Her home is in the realm Of faney-he
: existence is Sind of ideal reality--her very
mseriss are mingled with pleasing ro
mance--her present is always bright and hel
# future still brighter. Would that were .
: woman, to be pleased with every posy thai
d pops its head above tho weeds of wicked
world, and have no thorns to molsst me
7 while gathering the wild flowers Of magna
Q tion! Chldliks, woman is very happy
J, Tickled with the stiaw Of flattery, delighted
Q with every rainbow-tnted bubble that floats
7 upon the wave Of time, as aatic as young
a coon in the moonlight, and as merry as .
/ cricket, she dances in the sunlight Of Joy
! and seems to use every endeavor to coax ns
male, moody MORALS, into brighter and hap
pier paths. So mots it be!
Dow, JR.
: GREAT FIRE AT Cov1NeroN, KT.--A ereat