Tri-weekly journal., 1847-07-01
THE GOVERNMENT OF A HUSBAND.


Punch has been writing some most sprghtly
descriptions of "Capsicum House for Young La
dies" an establishment in which Miss Griffin
educates select number of young ladies' in the
mystic tot being wives. In one of the last
numbers is contained this ladys recipe for gov
eTning husbands, or as she classically calls it,
bringing their noses graphically illustrated by
an example. For the benefit of the wives that
are to be in our circle of readers, but who will
have no opportunity of receiving the personal
instructions of Miss Griffin, we extract the les
son at length -
Don't tell me-, said Miss Griffin; kindness
is the true killer. often illustrate the agreea-
bic fact; for in Capscum House no natural OBJ
iect is lost upon U.S. For instance, last Tues.
day whilst the Milk Punch Class was on, an
enormous wasp came like Llliputian dragoon
into the room, and flew from girl to girl. I'M
medIatey they began to scream | own ii;
this is the sad weakness that have to fight
against but, somehow, girls consider screams
as property they're born to. Some of the girls
flew to the wasp with handkerchiefs and that
little rebel Miss Fluke seized fire screen.-
Feeling that the time was come for me TO show
my energy, exclaimed with all my natural Wig
or, silence, ladies' silence, for a moral and an
exampe!--my usual mode of speech when about
to submit any natural object to a social, or,
l should rather say, to conjugal illustra-
ton.
ga moral and an example?' cried the girls,
and except that Fluke, they were all as still as
mice. s..r
."'Bring me the salad cruet,' was my com
mand, and withs thought, the salad cruet stood
before me. Now young ladies' observed,
takinga pen; now for the moral and example
You are here to be finished for sensible affec-
tionate, but above all controlling wives
You are here TO learn how best to subdue your
natural enemy, that is, to govern the men who
may become your husbands. Yes, ladies'
for somehow q can always tell) felt the flow
OF words coming and it was not for me as
woman TO stop it--'Yes, ladies', the Grifiinian
system will teach you how to control and over
throw your tyrants. Man, marrying us, puts
gold ring upon our third finger, and, in the
arrogance of his heart, makes US, as he thinks,
his blusing captive. And shall not man, also,
wear ring-our ring Yes; he shall = Here
that Miss Fluke proposed three cheers, but,
with look and brow of thunder, l stopt her.
If, said |, I'VE must wear HIS ring upon our
finger, let him--and not know it, poor wretch!
for that's the true triumph-let him wear OUR
ring in his nose Here Miss Fluke jumped up
on chair and huzzaed, and-well this time
did not attempt to suppress the natural burst Of
delight so honorable to their feelings-all the
other girls Joined in the shout.
ga ring III his nose repeated; mot the bit
of shining gold that declares our slavery, but an
invisible, fairy ring, that-like fish with
hook-he knows nothing about, only that he
must follow wherever it pulls him. Bless you,
my dears there's such rings in the noses of thou
sands of husbands, though-for they all shave
every moring--they never see 'em.'
:" And dearest madam, asked Miss Pebbles,
girl l have the greatest hopes of-'dearest
madam how is the nose Of our natural enemy
10 be wrungP
=" Listen, said |, listen and attend. and you
shall have moral and an example. When the
wasp now in the window entered the room,
you flew at it with all kinds of violence.
wonder it didn't sting every one of you. Now
in future, let wasp when it comes have its
little bout, and make its little noise. Don't
stir a muscle-don't move a lip-but be quiet
as statute of Venus or Diana, or anybody of
that sort, until the wasp seems inclined-as at
this moment-to settle. Then do as do now.
Whereupon, dipping the feather end of the pen
in the cruet of salad oil, approached the wasp,
and in the softest and tenderest manner posi-
Bile, just oiled it upon the body-the black and
yellow, like grooms waistcoats-when down
it fell, turned upon its back and was dead in
minute. There girls said |, see what kind
ness, what a little oil does. Now, here's my
moral and example. When a husband comes
home in an i'll humor, don't cry out and fly at
him; but try little oil-in fact treat your hus-
band like wasp"