The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1847-08-24
A LEG ADVENTURE.

uIil OHG vi tIlUSO uHlUituHutC WiEu'O WIZ
have found themselves obliged to call on the
carpenter, for the purpose of mendng their
mortal frame. was born complete, as
sound as pumpkin; with pair of sturdy
limbs as ever kicked. Islumped about mer
rily on both Of them during my youth, never
dreaming that should one day be indebted
for the same periputelical faculty 10 stick
of wood.
During the war with Great Britain, serv-
ed in our army on the frontier. was in
many battles, but managed throughout near
ly the whole of the conflict to keep lead and
Geld iron out of me. began 10 think my.
self bullet proof-but never was a conjurer
more mistaken, as soon found out at the bat
tie at Plaitsburg, by the help of a cannon
ball, which took off my leg just below the
knee. This happened in the beginning Of
the action, aud fell into the enemy's hand.
We got the victory at last, as it is well
known; and when the British retreated, |
was carried off by them along with some of
their own wounded. was duly reported by
the American returns "among the missing"
and my friends all imagined me dead.
After lying some time in the" british Ilosp-
tals, was sent to Montreal, where | met
with very ingenious French mechanis,
who fitted me with new limb, SO admlra-
bly, constructed with springs and hinges, that
after short practice, found myself able
10 manage it with so much dexterlty, that it
passed with the world for real bone of my
bone and flesh of my flesh. Twas ssent home
TO Boston after the peace, and received by
my friends as one risen from the dead. They
little imagined on seeing me safe and hear
ty, that had one foot in the grave. is'|
Now though might have claimed and re-
ceived pension for the loss Of my leg, yet
/ resolved 10 keep the matter secret--as
who would not? Nobody wishes 10 be pit
led for his wooden shins, when he can have
the credit of owning pair of real live Stun
pers. No mortal of my acquaintance sus-.
pecied that had sham leg, and Twas re-
solved TO take no pains to divulge the secret,
but if | got kick upon my wooden shin,
even to scratch where it did not smart. a
The perinacty with which | have stuck
to this determination, has led me into the
Oldest adventures. was kicked by horse
on the fictitious limb, and TO the aslonsh-
ment ofevery body, walked home after, IT.,
without so much inconvenience as a.sprain-
ed ankle. ] was bitten by "a mad dog most
furiously in the same place, and every one
prophesed that should die, but got well
of the bite and amazed them all. A cart
wheel ran over my foot, and jammed il into
cooked hat; no one but admired the forti-
tude with which bore the pain. Walking
home one cold day with the doctor. step
ped with one foot mid leg deep in puddle
Of water. The doctor was positive that ]
should take cold in consequence of it, and j
won wager on him by not coming off hoarse
the next morning, to his utter astonshment.
ei But this unfeeling limb ofmine, has some
times brought me into awkward scrapes.e
never shall forget how supremely foolish /
felt one evening, when / had been rdicu-
ling most numerically certain foppish,
), conceled, pragmatical fellow about the,
siown: all this did in the presence of his
two sisters, whom did not know to be such,
and never imagined my friend Walter, who
sat next to me, would let me run on in such
a strain without apprsing me OF the blunder
was committing. 5s.,H
'.Why you incomprehensible fellow" said
he 10 me as soon as he came away, "wha,
the vengeance possessed you to keep on talk.
ing in that style, when Twas trcadDg upon
your toe every instant to make you stopm" ~
Once, indeed, came very near being de-
tcctcd, aud the art6ce by which | escaped
detection had the strangest effects. Who
would believe that the ghost of a wooden
leg could break off a match? Or that by
saving my limb, made Mr.. Beau Babbleton
lose his niistless? will tell the whole sto-
ry, for it is seldom that wooden leg has
kicked up snclr dust. ] q
One very dark evening Twas walking
homewards through street where the side