Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, 1847-05-01
THE UNLUCKY PRESENT.
OR DEATH IN TIE rot.

The Rev. M. -, minister of c.
in Lanarkshire, (who died within in the present
century, was one fthose unhappy persons, who,
to use the words Of well known Scottish adsge,
can never zee green cheese bot their cen reels ;
lie was extremely cuvetous, and that not only
ofnice articles Of food, bot Of many other things
which do not generally excite the cupidity Of
the human heart. The following story 10 in
corroboration OF this assertion - Being on 4 vi.
cit one day at the house Of one OF his parishon.
ers-s pcor. lonely widow. living in moorland
part Of the psrish-Mr, L. became fasci.
mated by the charms of a little csst.iron pot.
which happened at the tins 10 be lying on the
hearth, full Of potatoes for the poor womans din.
ner, and that Of her children. He had never in
his life seen such . nice little pot. II was .
perfect conceii ofa thing. II was gem. No
pot on earth couid match it in symmetry. II
was an object altogether perfectly lovely. Dear
sake! minister ssid the widow, quite over.
powered by the reverend mans commend atoms
Of the pot; 1T ye like the pot sse weel as that,
] beg yell let me send il to the manse. It's
kind o orra (saperfuous) pot wi US; for we've
bigger ane. that we use oftcner, md that's
mair convenient every way for Us. Sac yen
just take present OF. I'll send it over tie
morn wi jamie, when he gsns to the schule.'
oh" said the minister, u can by no means
permit you to be at 30 much trouble. Since
you are so good as TO give me the pot, III Just
carry j; home with me in my hand. I'm 90
much taken with it, indeed. that would really
prefer carrying it myself Aaer much sl,erca.
tion between the minister and the widow on
this delicate point Of politeness, it was agreed
that he should carry the pot home himself
Of, then, he tndced, bearing this curious lit.
tie culinary article alternately in his hand and
under his arm, as seemed most convenient to
him. Unfortunately, the day was warn. the
way long, and the minister fat: so that he be.
came heartily tired Of his burden before he had
got half way home. Under these distressing
circumstances, it struck him, that il, instead Of
carrying the pot swkw.rdly at one side Of his
person. he were to carry it on HE head, the bur.
den would be greatly lieh,ened; the principles
Of natural philosophy. which he had learned at
college, informing him. sha, when load pres
ses directly and Immediately upon any object,
il is far less onsfous than when il hangs at the
remote end ofs lever. Accordingly. dofing his
hat. which he resolved to carry home in his hand
and having applied his ha nd kerchef to his brow,
he clapped the pot in inverted fashion uoon his
head; where, as the reader rnsy suppose, il g..
CURED much like Mambrno's helmet upon the
craz"d capital Of Don Quixote, only great deal
more magnificent in shape and dimensicns. -
There was at first much relief and much com
for, in this new mode OF carrying the pot; but
mark the result. The unfortunate minister ha.
wing taken a by.path to escape observation.
found himself when still good way from home,
under the necessity Of lcspiug over ditch,
which intercepted him in passing from one field
to another. He jumped but surely no jump
was ever taken 10 completely in, or at least,
into. the dark, ~ this. The conclusion given
to his person in descending, caused the helme,
to become hood: the pot clipped down over
his face. end resting with i,s rim upon his neck
stuck fast there. enclosing his whole head q
completely as ever thst OF ne~-born child was
enclosed by the flmy bag with which nature,
as an indication Of future good fortune. sone.
times invests the noddlss of her favorite off
spring. What was worst Of all the nose which
had permitted the pot to slip down over il, with
stood every desperate attempt on the part OF its
proprietor to make it slip back sgain; the con.
! tracted part or neck of the patera being OF such
/ peculiar formation as 10 cling fast to the base
OF the nose, although il had found no difficulty
10 gliding along its hypotaenuse. Was ever a
minister in a worse plight, Was there ever
contre'ems so unlucky' Did ever any man
did ever any minister, So effectuslly hood wink
himself. or 80 thoroughly shut his eyes to plain
light of nature! What was to be done The
place was lonely; the way difficult and dan
gerousi human relief was remote, almost be-
yond rssch. 1t was impossible even to cry fol
help. Or, it, cry could be uttered, it nigh,
reach in deafening reverberstion the ear Of the
utterer; but il would not travel twelve nche,
farther in any direction. TO add to the dis,res
ses Of the case, the unhappy sufferer soon found
great difficulty in breathing. What with the
heat occas'onsd BY the beating Of the sun on the
metal. and what with the frequent return OF ths
same hested cir 10 his lungs. he wac in the ut
most danger Of suffpcatioo. Every thing con
sidsred, il seemed likely that, IL he die no
chance 10 bs relieved BY some sccidental wsy
farer, there Noald soon be DsArn IN rRE For.