The examiner. [volume] (Louisville, Ky.) 1847-1849, 1847-11-06
FROM A NEW HOME.


% NJ hikhLAND
have been frequently reminded Of one
OF Johnson's humorous sketches. A
man returning a broken wheelbarrow TO
Quaker, with Here, I've broke your rot
ten wheelbarrow, usin' on I, wish you'd
get it mended right of, cause | want to
borrow ii again his afternoon" The
Quaker is made TO reply, Friend, it shall
be done and | wish possessed more Of
his spirit.
But | did not intend to write a chapter
on involuntary loans; have story to
tell.
One Of my best neighbors is Mr.. Philo
Doubleday, a long, awkward, honest. hard
working Maine man, OF Mainiote. ! sup
pose one might say so good-natured, that
he might be mistaken for a simple,on; but
that must be by those that do NOT know
him. He is quite an old settler, came in
four years ago, bringing with him a wife,
who is TO him as vinegar-boule to oil-cruet.
or as mustard 10 The sugar, which is used to
soften its biting qualities. Mrs. Double
DAY has the shsrpest eyes, the sharpest nose,
the sherPest tongue, the sharpest elbows,
and, above all, the sharpest voice, that ever
"penetrated the interior Of Michigan. She
has tall, straight, bony figure. in contour
somewhat resembling two hard-oak plsnks
fastened together and stood on end; snd,
strange to say she was full fve-and-thirty
when her mature graces attracted the eve
and won the affections Of the worthy Philo.
What eclipse had come over Mr.. Double
days usual ssgacity, when he made choice
Of his Polly, am sure never could guess
tut he is certainly the onl y man in The
wide world who could possibly have lived
with her; and be makes her a most excel
lent husband.
She is possessed with neat devil; have
known many such cases; her floor is scour-
ed every night, after all are in bed but the
unlucky scrubber, Betsey, the maid Of all
work; and wo TO the unfortunate ''indif
fdle, " as neighbor Jenkins says, who first
sets dirty boots on il IN the morning. If men
come in TO talk over road business, for Philo
is much sought when '1he public" has any
work 10 do, or school business, for that, be-
ing very troublesome, and quite devoid OF
profit, is often conferred upon PhiIo, Mrs.
Doubleday makes twenty errands into the
room, expressing in her yisage all the force
of Mrs. Rsddle's inquiry, "Is them wretch
es going " And when, at length, their
backs are turned, out comes the bottled
vengeance, The sharp eyes, tongue, ell
bow, and voice, are all in instant requisi.
ton.
Fetch the broom, Betsey and The scrub
broom, Be;sey and the mop, and that ere
dish Of soap, Betsey! And why on earth
didn't you bring some ashesl You didn't
expect 70 clean such a floor as this without
ashes, did youl"-"Wha, time are you 90
ing to have dinner, my dear ;" says the
imperturbable Philo, who is getting ready
TO go out.
dinner I'm sure don't know ! there
no time 10 cook dinner in this house moth.
ing but slave, slave, slave. from morning
I'LL night, cleaning up after set of nasty,
dirty" DC, DC.
'Phew!" says Mr.. Doubleday, looking
at his tuning heIp-maie with calm smile
"lrill all rub Out when it's dry, If you'll
only let it atone.
Yes, yes; and it would be plenty clean
enough for you if there had been forty horse.
in here"
Philo, on some such occasion, waited
Ill. his Polly had stepped out of the room,
and then, with bit Of chalk, wrote, on the
broad black walnut mantelpiece,-
"Bolt and bar hold gate of wood
Gate OF iron springs make good,
Bolt nor spring can bind the flame,
Woman's tongue can no man tame,'
and then took bis hat and walked off.
This is his favorite mode of vengeance
''poeical justice" as he calls it; and, as he
is never at a loss for a rhyme Of his own or
other peoples, MIS-. Doubleday stands in
no small dread of these efforts of genius.
Once, when Philos crony, James Porter,
the blacksmith, had left the print of his
blackened knuckles on the outside of the
oftscrubbed door, and was the subject of
some rather severe remarks from the gentle
Policy, Philo, as he left the house with his
friend, turned and wrote, over the offended
sPot,-
"knock not here,
Or dread my dear--P. d."
and the very next person that came was
Mn. Skinnss, the merchants wife, al