Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1847-11-19
The Mummefy of Medicine.

1t is impossible 10 deny that there is some
tough reading in tue wohd. Egyptian hier-
oglyphics puzzle most peop'e-Elru,can in
scrlptions cannot be read by those who run
-and-to ascend ffom antiquity upwards
even the contemporary pothooks and hang
ers wlIerewith John Chinaman labels his tea
boxee-are by no means lucid in their signi-
hcalion. But neither sculptured stones from
Egypt-nor vases from Elruscan tombs-nof
tea-boXes ornamenled with the most mystic
devices Of China ink-are much more OBJ
scure III the tale they would tell than the lit
lie slips of paper which the doctor tells MS TO
carry 10 the apotheeary, and-on s'lhe shut
our eyes and open our mouth principle"-
swallow the mysterious substances, solid or
fuId, represented by the equally mysterious
writings in question.
Bul the medical profession is learned pro-
fession, and its members use Latin because
Lain Isl learned language. We should
like to hear a few ''general practitioners
INDUCING IA quiet chat on Sir James Ora
hams new Medical Dill-or on mesmerism
and homeopathy in the vernacular of the Ce-
sars. we should see how deep the learned
profession was in the learned language. But
who says that doctors write Latin! Their
Latin Is no more Latin than il is English;
they lave only half translated the tongue
they employ; they have taken it out of En-
glisli without putting it into any other lam
guage in particular. Our Sangrados, too,
add insult 10 lniury-they make US swallow
their nasty stuils, and call them by barba-
rous names 10 boot. They insist upon their
Latin being as horrid as their drugs; not only
is the draught nauseous 10 one ~species of
taste, but the formula under which it is ad-
minieiered must be revolving TO another.
But bad Latin is not our principal objec-
ton 10 our friends of the College ofSurgeons
and Physicians. Even if they could write
tlceronlan prescriptions, which they can't,
or. al all events, won'i-we ask, hat would
be the cui bono of doing so. We are not
Romans but Englishmen. Write as YOU
speak. lou ask US TO put out our tongues,
and 10 let you feel our pulse in plain I;nr-
lIsh; you find The one too white, and the 9th
er too fast. Why don't you tell us the names
OF the drugs we must swallow, 10 restore the
fne red OF the one, and moderate the iog-trol
Of the other, in Plain English too?
Gentlemen "Aledicine-men," or "NIvsterv
men," as the O~jibbeways and other red
brethren of the wilderness call YOU; there has
been from time immemorial a considerable
quantity of humbug in your profession. the
still existing remnants of which we would
lain see purged off. In times of wore. when
people called you LeecIies and Chirurpeons.
you added a good many of the tricks of the inc.
gler 10 your Legitimate craft. You were Then
the prime professor of Alchemy, of Astrolo.
gy; the principle conjurors and magicians of
the olden time, ere The advent of Herr Dob
Ter and the Wizard of the North: You mas
queraded in flowing robes and long boards,
and carried white wands like the stewards at
a charity dinner: you used a mysterious lar
gon, both IN your medical and your manical
practice; you applied one 10 aid you in car.
rylng on the other: you had sympathetic pow
ders, and charms and entertainments: Won
worked ooIh by spell and bill: har par mar,
was an old medical charm against the effect
OF a mad-dog's bite: the not very dignifed
syllable OF oct, Och; you held to be able to
perform cures, to accomplish which, sulphur
ointment has obtained a more modem cele-
brlty. Long ago, however, you gave ND
your patients symptoms, and chances IN the
stars, and you now look for the Legitimate
reward OF your learned labors, rather to guin-
ca fees than TO the mystic riches of the eIuci-
BILE. So far SO good. You have in a mea-
sure kept pace with the world which is mo-
wing on around you; but still, in some res
poets, you are tagging; still you have a YEAR
ming longing for that veil of mystery, which
once hung, awe-lnsplring, around you; still
in your prescriptions live the embers of your
former secret fires; still, in ordering a sim
pie pill or a soothing draught, do you fondly
hug the glory with which the omne ignofent
pro magnjfco invests you. OF the old mys-
tic formulas you still have fond recollection.
Gentlemen, your faith in spells is not vet
quite at an end. In ordering a dose of salts,
your suph mag, corresponds to the ancient
och, och. We never see a prescription set
ting forth the necessity of beginning next
day with a dram of caster oil, the neat and
appropriate sentiment couched under the dim
phraseology Of OIL rie. eras. name, without
thinking with great tolerance of the days
when har, par, mar, and similar luminous
and useful sentences were in great vogue and
vigor. ai-t So
Drop, then, we beseech of You, the last
links which onnect science with nonsense
the Doctor with The Diddler family; rhu-
barb will do as much good when1 ordered in
English as in dog Latin; SIENNA Is not a Bit