The Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1846-1852, 1847-08-06
6umorous sketfb.
Written for he an. Y. Spirit cfthe Times"
About Billy M'DanielS and So On.
BY THOMAS the RHYMER.

bt IhOMAo THE khtmEhs
Many years agothere lived upon one Of
lhe roads leading to Nashville, a fat we'll
TODD, jolly inn. keeper by the name of
Billy M'Daniels. This said Billy was a
man of substance in estate and person;
and moreover, being piously inclined was
a deacon Of the church. He was very
much liked in spite of some peculiarities,
and his house was a favorite stopping
place for all lawyers who went by that
road to Nashville during Court time.
Among these last were Felix Grundy,
Thomas H. Benton, Hays, theAttorney-
General, Sam Houston ct I'd genus omne
M'Daniels or rather M'Dannels, for his
n~eighbors always knocked the Il" out of
his name-was,possessed of a very even
temper, except in one matter. Colonel
Thompson could not abide a reference to
Merino sheep-B Billy M'Daniels was G.
qually sor on the subject of buying his
own cow. The why and wherefore of
this, it is necessary | should tell you be-
fore | come to my main yarn. You must
have the glass shivered. before you can
get the real out of our bottle.
"Once upon a time" a party of jolly
fellows coming up the road, on a dark
evening, observed a fine fat COW at the
road side, patiently recumbent and con-
tentedly chewing hercud. The foremost
man %dismounted, and stirring up the vac
cine lady, drove her before him to Nc
Daniels door, which was about four hun
bred yards, from where they found the
COW. Billy was at the porch talking with
a neighbor, and greeted the new corners.
"How arc you gentlemen-driving a
COW home, ehP r
oh" answered the foremost, otis a
cussed brute l brought down to Nash
vile. for aunt Martin, way over yander.
She's got some ofthe Dunumi in her they
say-but dern her. She's gin me more
trouble nor fifty cows-and I've got nine
miles as you know to drive her. Rot my
skin ell wouldn't sell her for what she'd
fetch to get rid O. the critter. wouldn't
drive her a mile further to save her life,
eff | could sell her."
"And SO you's Sally Martins nevy, is
you? Nice old woman Sally Martin, s
ever draw'd on a shift. What'd ye ask
for the cow"
And Billy inspected the animal by the
dim light thrown from the door and win
dows of his own house.
"Why, I'd take anything, almost. II
tell we whatit is, Billy, there's six on US
here, sharp set for a bust. Eff o cir
us as much as we can tuck under our lin
sey, in toddy and chicken-6xens from
now till mornin', the cows your'n."
dts a ~bargain!" said Billy who order.
ed one of his boys to drive the animal into
a stall. The party adjourned to the
house, where they kept it up till neal
morning, when they departed, obliviou'
of cows and care to parts unknown.
The next day, bright and early, Florin.
da, Bi!ly's colored girl wentinto the sta
BILE to drive out the new COW and milk her
Presently, she returned with her eyes
dilated to their utmost extension.
"Why laws a massy, Missus," criet
she, "dat new COW Mahster's went an
bought's Brokly." .
at can't be-" replied Mrs. M'Daniels
tMr. M'Daniels wouldn't buy his owl
COW, I reckon"
"WeH, Mjssus, jest you come see. E
you don't say is Brokly, den dis colore'
gal don't know muffin. ats ALL"
And Florinda leading the way, Mrs
MD. made a visit t. the COW, and be
came a convert. OF she went to he
husband who was busy talking to a Gus
toner.
"Why, Lord bless me, Mr.. M'Daniels
what on the face ofthe terrakyus yart
were you about?-That thar new cow
Brok{y!"
"What put that in yourheadl"
"Jest you go see, Mr.. M'Daniels."
He did go zee, and became CONVEX
No. 9, to the Florinda theory. Maybe h
didn't pitch. The story got wind; an
was the theme ofthe whole county, muc
to Billy's cnagrin.
And now to tell of Billy's first effol
as a Temperance lecturer.
One day in autumn, the day previou
to Court week, Sam Houston, then Coli
mel, and a practitioner at the Teunesse
bar, came along to go to Court. On hi
way he stopped at the ~residenceof Hay
then Attorney General. who lived som
miles above M'Daniels, and who wa
usually Sans companion down. Hay
was a man o fmuch talent but rather laz,
r and iffeeling unwell, prone to exaggerat
, the extent of his sickness. So he toll
Houston that private business engage
, his attention unavoidedly, and said hi
r ~ wish you'd attend 10 my cases ii
Thursday. feel SO sick that | can't g
: down till then, and you may as we'll prose
cute as not"
J. "Well," replied Houston, "Ill tax
your place until Thursday; but if yo
don't come then I'll drop all your cases
a ooh, III be there on Thursday, sure.
o On rode Houston until he came t M
Daniels, where he dismounted. Yo
| must know that Sam was a kind ofgallan
gay fellow, in those days-aprime favo
e lite with every one, ladies' especially
and his presence was always hailed wi,
delight.
M'Daniels shook his guestby the han
"Glad to see you, Curnel Sam, as ell
found a dollar.-Come in and take som,
thing. Mrs. Mac'Il be glad to see yo