The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1847-02-13
0-|@MarTied people in the habit Of quar-
rcljng about rifes can see how ridiculous is
sIlch cnnnmri hN rrnhinn 1hr fnllnMinn.
MI and Mrs. Battle;
OR MOUSE. vs.. RAT.

such conduct by reading the following:
MI and Mrs. Battle;
OR MOUSE, vs.. RAT.
Mr.. and Mrs. Battle We're fond aud low
ing couple i'll the town oily, lao for IL
bout u twelNc-month, had dwell as"one flesh"
in the law matrimonial, and whose union
thus lar, if shade less blisslul than that Of
turtle doves, had afforded an example Of con-
jugu felicity as editying TO say the least, rs
the generality ofnatchcs, 1t happencd one
winter evening, that, having exhausted all
their usual themes Of clit-chat, they had been
sitting in silence for some ten minutes to-
gcthCr, luNurialing in ''IhC accommodating
muteness of fishes" when suddenly, with Il
piercing shrek, Mrs. Is. sprang from her
chair aud jumped upon the side table, crying
out at the top of her lungs, Lord of Mercy.
Oh, that horrid being Kill him, Mr. Battle
Kill hin"
The husband as quick us thought, seized
the poker, and, though lalfirightcmcd out of
his senses, raised ii firmly over his own head,
and placed himSclfbot upright IN an attitude
of defence. For some moments hc stood
spcCchlcSs with mingled wonder and awe;
then casting glance al his wife, who stood
leaning against the wall, pale, sh.ycrng and
hall frantic with fear, he Ut length recovered
his wits and the Use oil.js tongue, so far a. TO
ask, in Il voice some what faint and husky,
C-Where--what is he:"
"Iherc! theru.-husM,ud, dou'tyou sGU--
there. u isn't no nan--it is u horrible great
mouse! oh dear, shall faint away, certain
There he comes again, this wpy-McrcluI
heavens, Oh, On"
Mir b. brcayhcd II little more freely, alter
this last piece OF information, Tor to say the
truth, he was by no meats, Il Hercules in
strength or stature lhCiug only iomr feet and
eleven IN his boots, and weighing bat Just one
hundred and five pounds, even after dnucg)
and as he supposed it was some house rob-
Der or cut-tAroat who had hidden himself in
the room, thut bad caused his Wii's ir@It,his
knees had begun to knock together littlc Il
Ii BclshaXzur, Notwithstanding his great show
Of bravery. But now, rcgaiuln@ wiki mary
cIlous qulckncss, The use Of all his limbs and
iaculties, nc advanced boldly in Tic direction
by Mrs. BIS finger, and with Il courage and
presence ofmind worthy an Alexander sue
cccdcd, by the aid oft!Ic poker, III stretching
most tcroCious looking young rat lhClGss on
the floor
After few moments peace and order were
again restored and Mrs. Is. having succeeded
by an astonishing degree OF self control, in
quoting her nerves, was again seated at he"
work table. busily plying her needle. when a.
loud tinking otthe door-hcll was followed by
the announcements Of Mr. Pry. Pry had pop
ped in, ms he said, to see how they all did, and
have little social chat: bur rs it turned out,
UNFORTUNATELY for the peace of our excellent
coupled he was Just in season to hear from
Mrs Battles lips, n relation of what she call
ed her "frighful adventure with the mousse"
"No, my DEAR" Interrupted Mr. b., III rat"
"EXcusc me love: but twas mouse"
Gut assure you madam, it was rat"
81 beg your pardon sir, Notwithstanding
you assure me: am quite sure it was Il
mouse"
Don't tell me, Mrs. Battle; do you think
am fool, not to know mouse FROM raj
and in my own house 1907"
"Keep cool Mr.. Battle: dou't get hufly Just
because | spoke Il word. Some how or Other
lately, can never open my lips before you,
but you must fly into II pet. And then y0n
must be wiling me always about
your house, as ifyou were lord of everything
here, and were only your humble servant:---
ldccIare, Battle. you are as cross as Il bear,
Battle, and as unreasonable Us you can live"
"Nlrs. Battle, you are enough 10 provoke Il
saint. Three times you have contradicted ne
and"
"All because said mouse was not rat.
A mouse amt Il rat, and you know it, Battle"
"AlrS. Battle, there is 10 stumbling ths--No!
-nor won't stand it amy longer. will have
divorce, if there's one TO be had in the coun-
try. | will not live with such IL tsrmugaut.
No. WON'T. Mrs. Battle, and that's the long
and short it,"
Here Mrs. Battle fell back in her chair,aud
hurst into flood oftoars. Fry, finding mat
ters getting little too lot, crept silly out Of
the room, and ran Tor home ;s from horn
cts nest Mr. Battle paced the room hurried |
f,r tn
more, with hlanchcd check, and lip quiycring