Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1847-04-15
The First Book OF the Chronicles OF
Jonathan.
From the Yankee Doodle.
CHAPTER I.


Now il came TO pass in those days lha, James
the First reigned over the nation of Jonathan,
in the roum of John, surnamed the +" Gaping
(Now John had not died, bu, had gone down to
the Old Dominion and was buried alive with
his fathers, and no man sought after him But
James he King did evil exceedingly. beyond all
ha, the kings " no had gone before him had done.
For he appointed tax gatherers who did sorely
vex and trouble the people he also sough, 10
root out the makers Of cotton, and linen, and
wooden and iron goods, and grievously harassed
the shepherds and husbandmen. Moreover, he
nightly stirred up the hearts Of the people TO
war; and thought In his heart TO make the
children Of his younger sister whose hands
were nigh unto him. bondmen and taxpayers.
Now it was in This wise, that The king caus-
ed the war; his younger sister had vineyard
near 10 the river Sabine, fair and goodly 70 look
upon. And behold, when king James looked
upon the vineyard, and saw it was place TO
be desired, abounding in daIkies and creoles,
and flowing with sugar and molasses, straight
way he coveted il exceedingly much, and seized
upon it, and annexed ii to the land of Jonathan
seeking an occasion against his sister. But
his younger sister suffered long and would not
lifi up her hand agains, Jonathan wherefore
the king waxed wrolb, and blasphemed, and
sware vehemen,ly she should fight.
Then he commanded Zachariah, the captain
of his host, vaan, man in whom was the
spirit Of wisdom 10 take three thousand chosen
men, and march into The land Of his sister, (bul
the king slraighily charged him that he should
declare TO The children of his sister that the
land was Jonalhan's and also said the king,
+" will swear the same thing to the counsellors
OF Jonathan when they NEE. together TO talk. y
Bu, the king himself went not 10 the war, but
remained a, home, eating and drinking and ma
king merry with his wives and concubines.
Moreover The king ordered Winfield, the chief
captain of all his host. to repair 10 his post
(now the raimenl of Winfield was the finest
sleeps wool, and his meat twas has,y plate
of soup'') Moreover, Winfield was advanced
in years, and had cut his eye teeth, and kept
his eye cooked both ways. And he reasoned
with himself, saying, "If | shall obey the
king, then will the enemy open upon me in
front, and The king and his company shall as
saul, me the back, and The place shall become
too hot for me, and my lravailings for the land
of Jonathan shall be nousht.
And behold. as he pondered on these things,
and slipped his hasiy plate of soup" his spiri,
waxed warm within him, and he slraigh,way
declared unto the king, he would be hanged if
he would bulge an inch. Then was the king
wroih, and said unto him, 1.-The Wings do so
TO me, and more also, if don't play The devil
with thee for this I" Nevertheless, the word
of the king prevailed not against him.
But the war dlsPeased Horace the Fourier
ite, and he rallied vehemensly against the king,
and cursed him in his heart and taught the
people also to hate him. Now Horace was a
mighty scribe, neither regarded lie The apparel
OF any man.
CHAPTER II.
Now Zacharah did many mighty acts and
smoIe the enemy hip and thigh, and took pris-
oners the captains OF their host. and very much
spoil. of cattle and sheep and asses.
But in process Of time, the treasury of the
king was greatly diminished and he called
unto him Robert, the Steward OF his household,
and SAID unto him, WhefewihaI vii, thou
provide for The suslenanee of the army, and the
ma dens Of my household 7" And the Steward
answered and said unto HIM This hing will
do. | will comb my hair and anolni my whiskers
with oil, and pat on a sanciImonIous air, and
90 unto The money sharers Of Gotham, and il