Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1847-08-18
vaoM THE NATIONAL iSrELLIeENcER.
Another Letter from Major Jack Downing.
ON THE ROAD TO THE WAR.

ON THE ROAD TO THE WAR,
AuGvsr l847
My dear bid Friends :-GI sposo -you'u bs ann. |
1ingiy disapinted to find Pm way OF here, pushin
on to the scat ofwar, and didn't call to see YOU
when Il como through Washington. But YOU |
mustn't blame mo for it, for couldn't help it the
PRESIDENT wouldn't let me call he said was get
ting quite too thick with YOU writing letters to YOU
and al! that And when he spoke about the letters,
ne looked kind OF red, and showed considerable
spunk.
Says he, Major Downing, have put a good deal
OF confidence in you friend of my administra
ton and If you friend to il, you must lot Gales
and Seaton alone; keep out of the way and have
nothing 70 do with them they are dangerous mis-
chief'makng fellers. eternally pecking at my ad-
minstration, all weathers. Let us try TO keep
things ever so snug, and lay my plans ever SO deep
they are sure to dig them all up lug them into the
Intellgencer, and blaze 'em all over the country
Confound their picturs, they are the most trouble
some customers an administration ever had they've
come pretty near swapping me two or three times
30, 1t you are my friend, warn YOU not TO be so
thick with Gales and Seaton
wen, says l, Colonel, you know I am friend
70 you and your administration, as much as ever
was to the old Gneral and his administration; and
! snail stand by you and do every thing can to
he'p you out Of this scrape you've got into about the
war. But don't know as that need make me break
long, 1T would be Kind OF hard for me TO give 'em
up now and don't hardly think they are quite SO
DAD as You think for They may not mean to do
you 30 much hurt when they put these things into
tne'r paper and only put them in cause they think
io'ks want to know what's goin on. Mr.. Richie
sometimes puts things into his paper that folks think
don't do you no good.
The President gave two or three hard chaws up
on MS cud ct tobacco, and says he, Yes, Major,
mats too true it must be confessed and il annoys
me beyond all patience. But then have to forpve
II and overlook it, because Mr.. Ritche don't mean
n. The old gentleman is always sorry for it, and
always willing to take it back. And then he's such
"a tuH old Teller to fight the federaists can't have
heart to scold Mt him much about his mistakes and
blunders.
Well, says |, Colonel, being you've named fed
erasts, want to know II any of them animals is
really supposed to be alive any where in the conn
try nowadays. Seeing such awful accounts abou,
'em In the Union paper all the time. inquired all
the way along through New England where thew
used to be the thickest and couldn't get track of
one; and when | asked the folks if there was any
federalists any where in them quarters, they ali
stared at me and said they didn't know what kind
of critters they was. When | got to Downinps
vile asked uncle Joshua about it, He said. in
his younger days there used TO be considerable MANY
OF em about but they wasn't thought to be danger
Gus, tor they never was much given to fighting -
But he said he guessed they'd all died out long ago,
Tor he hadn't come across this twenty years.
80 now Colonel, says l., how is it they are SO thick
In MIR. Ritche's paper all the time
AT that he gave me very knowing kind Of
look, and lowered his voice down almost to a whs.
per; and says he, Major, I'll tell you how that is
When MIR. Richie was young man he used to fight
good deal with the federalists, and took good
deal Ut pride IN 1t; and now the fances and scenes
ofhls youth all seem to come fresh TO his mind and
he can't think or talk about any thing else You
know that's often times the way with old people,
AS he always used to have the name of smart
tighter, igave him the command of the newspaper
battery here to defend my administration. Blu,
twas as great mistake as twas when sent Tay-
Tor INTO Mexico didn't know my man.
no matter what force was gathering to overthrow
my administration, Mr.. Richie somehow didn't
seem to see 'em matter how hard they fired at
me, he didn't seem to hear it and when called to
him to fire back, he would rouse up and touch off
lew sqnbs with about as good aim as the boys take
when they fire crackers on the 18th of july and did
about as much execution. AT last found out way
that could make the old veteran fight like Turk
and hold on like bulldog. 1t was by giving him
notion at any time that he fighting the leder
erallsts. Since | made that discovery he's been
more help to me. Whenever see the enemy en-
srenchIng himself around me, and bringing up his
batteries to fire into my administration, all have
fo DO is to whisper in MIR. Ritchie's ear and say
Mr.. Richie the air smells offederasm you may
depend upon 1t there is federasts abroad some
where" In a minute, you've no idea with what
fury the old gentleman flies round and mounts his
heaviest guns, and sets his paper battery in a roar
His shots fly right and left. and sometimes knock
down friends well as foes To be sure they don't
make very great impression upon the enemy, but
then there's this advantage in it if he don't kill or
beat off the enemy, he keeps the administration so
perfectly covered up with smoke that the enemy
can't see half the time where to fire at us. On the
whole, Mr.. Richie is valuable man to my admin
istration, Notwithstanding all his mistakes and blum
ders.
Just then the door opened, and who should come
in but Mr.. Richie himself As the door opened he
ketched the sound Of the two last words the Pres
ident was saying.
Mistakes and blundersW says Mr.. Richie saws
he what, have you got something more Of Scott
and Taylor laundering in Mexico?
Nothing TO day says the President. | was
only telling Major Downing how their blundeIs
there have come pretty near running the country
and how 1t is absolutely necessary to get the staff
out OF their hands somehow or other before they
quite finish the job. Pm going now to try one
more plan, Mr.. Richie; but he careful that YOU
don't say any thing about it in the Union and blow
IT all up tried once to send Col Benton on for
the snme purpose, and Congress bowed that up
Then ! sent I'rist for the same purpose
and General Scott has bowed him up Now
Pm agolng 70 send Major Downing, not as a
regular Chaplain, but sort of wa tch upon them
you know to work round and do the business up be-
fore any body knows it. lie isn't to 20 TO Scott nor
Taylor nor have any thing to do with 'em, but to
work his way into Mexico, and go right to Santa
Anna and knock up bargain with him | don't
care what he gives. The fact is, Mr. Richie, the
country needs peace, and I'll have peace, cost it
what it will
An excellent idea, says Mr.. Richie; an excel
lent plaD sir Pm for peace at all hazards if it is