The examiner. [volume] (Louisville, Ky.) 1847-1849, 1847-11-13

IRON SCRAPS AND SKETCHES or lsIsH LII

rat (tne Only WditoO neu oSSoso" :" ieo'
the room, and, on his return. presented him
self with only one skirt 10 his coat. Ii ha
been mentioned that the original acciden
had been partially remeded by the skirt be
ling pinned on, but now some practical 10
ker in the kitchen had silly taken out thu
pins. and suffered the much.trusled domestic
to return into the dining room in the I'm
seemly condition above mentioned and TN
absurdity of his appearance was much in
creased by the red plush brooches being
patched ON the seat with some aark-colOree
cloth, something in the shape Of heart
sewn, or, rather, coarsely tied, ON witt
packthread.
MIR. Casey was the first 10 notice the cir
cumstance, when he lost no time in calm:
the attention Of the guests to it, by variet,
Of telegraphic signs when Pats back wa.
turned; imploring and threatening, by al
sorts OF emphatic gestures, taat no one
would apprise him of his caudai deficiency
There are two little traits in Pats beha
viour to which il may be necessary to ad
vert, and which would have been needless
to mention had not the habIts been 50
prominently brought forward oy the cir
cumslapce Of his lost tail. One was a re-
markably springy and jaunty carriage: he
did every thing with an air; and OH the
grand occasion Of a dinner party he INDUCED
in this peculiarly to excess. For instance,
when asked for any thing, he would gen.
fly sink down a few inches on one leg. by
bending the knee while he wheeled round,
the other leg being extended straight, like
the wheeling limb Of a pair Of compasses in
describing a circle. Having brought him.
self facing that part Of The sideboard con-
tanning the article required, he would gen.
tly bound forward with an en- arGnt step.
such as dancing masters were wont to teach
their pupils at time when prancing through
quadrilles was the fashion. This flourish,
which would have attracted little notice un.
der ordinary circumstances, was absurd in
the extreme when performed by man to-
tally unconscious OF the ridiculous expo
sure he exhibited a. each evolution. The
other peculiarly was a habit Of thinking
aloud; his sentiments, though murmured
in low tone, and without any movement
ofthe lips, being pretty generally audible to
the whole party.
Sandy Casey had no sooner discovered
the state Of Pats rear than be adopted a
plan the best possible for showing it of with
effect to the company. He called for wa
ter, bread. beer, fish sauce, and kept the
unfortunate serving-man in a perpetual
wheel. Pat bore this wonderfully well for
a time, but became at last rather sc andali-
zed at his masters manners, which he Just
ly considered TO SAVIOUR more OF looking to
his interests than attending to his guests,
as hospitable Irish host is wont to do and
in this view Of the case he was strengthen
ed by the uncomfortable laughter Of the
whole party, which he concluded to be ex-
cited by such an unusual course at mans
own board.
They were soon made acquainted with
what was passing in his mind by an occas
ional "aside, heard during pause in the
meniment.
Pat, (aside. )-"Bedad ye're taking care
OF yourself any how Ketchupl Sure
I've TUX it twice to you. Soy anchovy!
venegar! Hervey! Divle such man ev-
er see for sauce Faith, ye're making
holy show of yourself wild your pickles
By me sowl ye don't give the rest chance:
ay, well they may laugh. Is it beer Sure
We might ask them to take glass of wine,
they're mos, choking. Och, murther is it
mustard with salmon That bangs all!''
This last order went far to produce some
act Of open rebellion. so monstrous did it
appear in Pats eyes. He affected at first
not to hear it, and kept his eyes semly fix
ed on the opposite wall. When. however,
there was no installing the reiterated CON-
mand, he moved with slow and faltering
steps, and 6eprecating look, towards his
master, with the mustard pot in his hand,
and holding il at arms length behind him, he
lowered his mouth to Mr. Casey's ear, and,
addressing him confidentally,
ats salmon ye're ating Sure ye wouldn't
ate mustard with salmon p
The order, however, was repeated, and
Pat, almost doubling the evidence of his
senses, saw his master help himself despe-
Iately to the obnoxious condiment, and eat it
with great apparent satisfaction. The ex-
preston Of surprise mingled with disgust
and doubt in the serving mans face was 50
extremely ridiculous that 1t produced fresh
roar which very much scandalized and not a
little chafed him.
THAT you may die roaring like Doran's
bull what the divle you see to laugh at, it's
hard to say. Bad manners to you, but it's
queer thing to be screeching at man at
his own table, any how. Perhaps it's "a
way they have in England. Faith | be-
lieve you--so y
After this fashion the dinner passed of,
Pat remaining in uncomfortable ignorance,
and his master losing no opportunity Of
showing him of. AT last, when he was re-
moving the cheese, Mr.. Casey turned to him
innocently, and asked why he mcnded his
clothes with wax-end when there was
tailor in the town! Pat, paused in his ca
reer, quickly reconnoitred the part, when
the whole truth flashed upon him. The look
he gave his master, and then the company.
was the most exquisitely comic that the hu-
man face could represent, but the predomi-
nant expression was certainly Joy at the ex.
uaordinay conduct Of all parties being so
happily explained.
Dropping the cheese hastily upon the
sideboald he rushed to the kitchen, and by
the squealing that ensued might be guessed
the kind Of punishment he was INJECTING on
the originator Of the practical Joke.