Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1847-07-08

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bust? Don't trife with the feelins of
feeble woman (the lovely relict. by the way,
weighed 200 avordupoise) at this orful cri-
sis! Ef shud be blown up into fragments,
all thru your decepshins, capting, and be
made the mother ofthree dezolate orphuns,
lher'd be dreadful reckonin for you at the
great day of insurrecting, now tell yer.''
The captain assured her there was no
danger, but at the same time told her the
safest plan would be to shut herself up in
the state room, farthest aft, where he senta
waiter to conduct her. She hesitated, but
finally went, with an earnest parting admo-
milton that "the capling should send some
body to let her know est as soon as the boat
began to blow up"
The unfortunate lady was just beginning
to feel more calm, when she was startled
by the loud ringing of bell, accompanied
with the strangest sort of voice, which
must 60 down and SETTLE"
$50 it is a-goin' down! Oh Lord! oh !
Lord! Whar on airth is my big band box'
Somebody fassen onto me this life preserver,
and put rope under me So them Germans
is goin' down already! knowed they
would, the tarnal fools, when saw 'em
down stairs thar Oh Lord! oh Lord !
My hams will be wasted, and only ter think
of them poor boys ter hum! Isn't thar
NE :"
No one volunteered, however, before the
captain came along, and was at last again
successful in quoting her.
Soon after they passed small landing,
where an opposition boat, also bound down,
was taking few passengers, which before
the former had advanced three-fourths of a
mile beyond this point, put of, and fired up
in manner that showed her captain deter
mined to 'come in at least length ahead"
The ''hosses'' on board the first boat became
very naturally considerably riled," and most
earnestly urged the captain 10, 'sput on the
gass" and shever mind the consequences"
But he was one of those s'averse to racing"
and whatever idea he might have secretly
cherished that it wouldn't do to be beat,
evaded a direct reply by saying, sashe wood
on board if used economically, nigh. pos
sibly not last to the next yard"
The anxious widow had been mean
while watching the movements Of the boat
in the rear, and began to participate in the
general excitement. Atlast she approached
the captain, and remarked that ''.har was
craft behind sailing dreadful fast"
"Why, really, madame, so there is!'' was
the answer.
oval, you amt agoin' to lie, her 60 by,
ar you ,"
Perhaps it would be dangerous to increase
the fire, ma'am.
The old lady was bothered, and returned
to her post. "The object of her regard'' was
approaching too rapidly, however, for her
peace of mind-(That sentence is entire
from G. P. R. James. She again "made
tracks" for the anti-racing man, exclaim-
ing
ooh, capting do just put two or three
more sticks OF wood on that fire -
"Mustnt waste wood, ma'am.''
oval, for Heving's sake, hain't thar sno-
thin else nboard that you can make it burn
with ?"
81 don't think of anything, madam, ex-
cepting your hams"
The old lady reflected moment, but she
could bear the suspense no longer, and with
the expression of person going into fits,
exclaimed
"Put 'em on capting! Put 'em ON Who
keers Who's afeerd! amt I'd derned site
rather be busted up than beat, any time
Put 'em ON :"
The shouts which greeted the old lady's
ssremarks" would almost rival those sent up
before Jericho or Monterey-and even the
boat appeared to share in the enthusiasm,
for her paddles seemed Immediately to dou-
BILE the number of her revolutions, and it
was not long before her ambitious rival was
left at a distance, which the passengers Of
the first unanimously declared, Silent en-
chantment to the view."
The swidow" was perfect "lioness" for
the remainder of the trlp-and on arriving
at her destination, was agreeably surprised
by the full return of the money she had
paid for fare and freight, together with 'them'
hams, accompanied by most urgent invi-
tation from the captain, that whenever she
travelled that route again she would accept
the best berth in the boat, free of expense.
Mock OYSTERS OF CoRN.-Take dozen
and a half ears large Young corn, and CRATE
all the grains off the cob as fine as possible.
Mix with the grated corn three large table
spoonsfh of sifted -four, the yolk Of six eggs
well beaten. Let all be we'll incorporated
by hard beating. Have ready frying-pan,
an equal proportion of lard, and fresh butter,
hold it over the fire till it is boiling hot, and
then put in portions of the mixture as near
ly as possible in shape and size like fried
oysters. Fry them brown and send them to
table hot-they should be near an inch
thick.