Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1847-08-12
MARTINsBURG VIRGINIA THURSDAY

that before the ball took place, might as wei
call for my whiskers.
One morning met jerks in barber's shop
He was adonizing before large mirror, ant
combining up my whlskers at devil of rate
"Ahl there you are, old fellow" said he
speaking 10 my reflection in the glass, "Comt
for your whlskers, suppose 2"
''Oh, no hurry" | replied, as | sat down fol
a shave
"Always ready, you know" he answered
giving final tie TO his crayat.
"Come to think of it." said musngly, as
the barber began to put the lather on my face
"perhaps now would be as good a fine a,
another; you may sit down and let the barber
try his hand at the whiskers."
..You couldn't wait until tomorrow, could
you ?" he asked, hesitanngly. ''Tkere's bal
tonight, you know"
''To be sure there is, and think you ough
to 20 with clean face; at all events dom
see any reason why you should expect TO wear
my whiskers TO that ball so SIT down"
He rather sulkily obeyed, and in a few mo-
rnents his cheeks were in perfect foam oflath.
er. The barber fiourished his razor, and was a.
ly changed my mind,
"Stop, Mr. Barber" said /, ''you needn'i
shave off these whiskers just yet" So he
quietly put up his razor; when jerks started
from the chair in something very much re-
sembng passion.
"'rhis is trfling!' he exclaimed. You
have claimed your whiskers-take them"
Il believe man has a right 10 do as he
pleases with his own property" remarked,
and left jerks washing his face.
At dinner that dav tie conversation turned
upon the whisker affair. 1t seems The whole
town had got wind of it. and jerks could not
walk the streets without the remark being coa-
tinually msde by the boys" There goes the
man Nth Old Sops ,ciiskers ~ And they had
grown to an immense size for he dared not
trim them. In short became convinced that
jerks was waiting very impatIenily for me to
assert my rights in the property. 1t happen
ed several OF the party were sitting opposite
me at dinner who were present when the sin
gular bargain was made. and they urged me
10 take the ,chiskers that very day, and thus
compel jerks TO go 10 the ball whiskerless, OF
stay at home. agreed with them it was a
bout time to reap my crop, and promised that
If they would all meet me at the brokers' shop
where the purchase nad been made, would
make call on jerks that evening after he
had dressed for the ball. All promised to be
present at the proposed sharing operutimi in
the brokers' office, and sent for jerks and
the barber On the appearance OF jerks il
was evident that he was vexed at the sudden
call upon him, and his vexaton was certainly
not lessened when he sa the brokers' office
was filled TO Overlooking by spectators anx-
ous to behold the barberous proceeding.
Come, be in hurry )" he said. as he
took a seat, and leaned his head against the
counter for support, 81 can't stay here long
several ladies are waiting for me to escort them
10 the ball"
True, very true-you are one ofthe man
agers-l recolect Mr.. Barber. don't detain
the genteman-go TO work at once"
The lathering were soon over, and with
about three strokes of the razor, one side Of hi.
face tcds deprived of It's ornament.
Come, come" said jerks, ''push ahead
there's no time TO be lost--let the gentle
man have his whiskers--he is impatient"
''Not at ALL" | replied coollY, PPM in nc
sort of a hurry, myself--and now think of it.
as your time must be precious at this particu.
lar time, several ladies' being in waiting foi
you to escort them TO the ball. believe III
not take the other ,chisker tonight"
loud laugh from the by-standers and a
glance at the mirror. caused jerks to open his
eyes 10 the ludlcrous appearance he cut with
his single whisker, and he began TO insist upon
my taking The ,cliote Of nty property But all
wouldn't do. had right to take it when
chose-I ,cas not obliged 10 take all at once i;
and chose to take but half at that particular
period indeed intimated to him very plain
" that was not going to be very hard cred
tor; and that if he "behaved HIMSELF" per-
heps | should never call for the balance OF
what he owed mel
When jerks became convinced | was de
termned not TO take the remaining whisker.
he began, amidst the loud expressed mirth OF
the crowd, to propose terms Of compromise
first offering me ten dollars. the n twenty. thir-
", forty-tllyl TO take off the remaining
whisker. | said firmly, "My dear sir, there
is no use talking; insist on your wearing
that whlsker for me month or two"
"What will you take for the whiskers 90
he at length asked. won't you sell them
back to me %
"Ah," replied 7, ''now YOU begin to talk as
a business man should. Yes, bought them
on speculaon--I'lls sell them if can obtain a
good price"
"What is your price 2"
"One hundred dolars-must double my
money"
''Nothing less ?"
''Nota farIhing less-and Pm not anxious
TO sell even at that price"
swell I'll take them" he groaned, "there's
your money; aud here, barber shave of this
id Internal whsker in less than no time
| shall be late at the ball"
The barber accomplished his work, and
poor jerks was whskerless jerks went 10
the ball. but before the night was over, he
WiSted he hGda't-"*s
A BEAUTTrUx. FIGURE.
Life is beautifully compared TO a fountain
led by thousand streams, that perish if one