Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1847-02-05

"As mouey's the root of all evil, five had the
tree couldn't we get all TIE precious stutf'?"
bod You, you pesky garment, you're getting
too smart entirely; that's.what cone: OF sending
children to mechanics:
ATTENTION LADIEs.-A curious fact is thus
told in one Of our exchange papers;
Take string that will reach twice round
the neck Of a lady; let her hold thecnls between
her teeth then, if the nDose will slip over her
head to the back of her rtcck, it is certain sign
that she is married, or ought to be.
Now, don't srangIe yourselves, Young ladies,
in testing this truth.
GEoGRArnY.- Teacher Glass in Biography
come forward. What is geography p,
Pupil-A description otahe United States and
Mexico.
Teacher-Where is Mexico?
Pupil-Down by General Taylor.
Teacher-Ilow is it boGnded
Pupil-On the North by the American army,
on the East by the yellow fever and Com.
Conner on the South by earthquakes ans! burning
mountains, on the West py Commodore Stock
ton.
CAMP AxEcDorE.-A rit:nd who has just re-
turned from the camp on the Rio Granle, turn-
shes the following tho. manner IN which a
Dutchman who was on scIary duty, proclaimed
the hour The usual cry is {" hait-past ten o.
clock, and ars WELL. The: Dutchman had for
gotten the precise words, ana sung ont n the top
of his voice, 4" More as den; o'clock, and all Ish
better rs goot.
STREET CoLLoQUY.-" Good morning Mr. Smith,
on the sick list to-day?"
g Yes sir, got the ague."
GO Do You ever shake ?"
eyes, shake like thunder
"When do you shake again 2"
Cant say when-shake every day. Why do
you ask %
.Oh nothing in particular--only ttonShe If
YOU shook so bal, I'd like to stand by and see 1t
Won wouldn't shake that ti!teeti dollars ont Of your
pocket that you have owed me SO long"
Mr.. Smith sloped.
SOMETHING EroQUEvr.-The following is given
ms an extract from sublime speech in nurder
case in Texas:
Nav it please your honor-l'm BALD ): bald
Not bald from age, but from knowledge ottlia law.
And what does the law say? Murder, says the
law. is the killing a. reasonable being under the
kings peace WARS the king? Thar np king
here. thank God the Lone Stai: shall shine alolt
and in speak OH this subject gnti the Qneen OF
Night sits in the West-yes, until the wa COW
bellows in the morning sun"
An exchange considers it a matter OF rejoicing
that though
Kittens do increase IL cats,
Mice can never grow z, rats.
Sammy Sammy, my son! cont stana shere
scratching your head-stir yoUE stumps or you
will make no progress in lie i
sWhy, father, I've often heard you say that the
onIv wav to get on in the world yas to Scfatch a.
head?
Young physician asking permission of 2 lady
TO kiss her, She replied ''No sir-l never Ike to
have a Doctors BIZ thrust in my face
MoDEsrY.-It is related that:::on New Years
Dav. a lady of New York city, whose housH Was
thrown open to the customary calls, had pn.her
table, besides other deicacies a iie turkey, whose
legs were deemed $" improper 10 h seen that taey
were encased in pair Of paniaLetI.
An exceedingly tall gentlema5zi was wail@ng
with very short friend in the MIDST of heavy
shower, when the latter Observed: Bill, ant II
coming down % Bill. lifting hi; shoulders sill
hiGher answered. don't know: how it may: be
with you bat it's raining like bia2es up here =
A Coop OFFIcER-An Intelligent man in gu
thoritv is always to be respected: At a eososed
hall nj Rochester an officer was employed 10 te!Id
the door. Three white young 5lottis, tashioba:iy
attred applied for admission but were refused on
the ground that none hut collored folks coul4 pc
admitted. lie acted right, but one OF the mara
gers, fearing riot. agreed to admH them on TIE
ground that 90 well behaved white man. was as
good as a ''colored gentleman"
IHE most beautiful WuISS III INT I'M
gIish language are, Mother, Home, and Heavei.
a Young married man says that ali tie beauty and
happiness connected With the above: three words,
are associated with the single word Wife.
FULLY EMPLOYED.-A correspondent of I.oe-
don paper, writing from Cnrvarvoni Wales, nen-
lions having passed, during promiGade, sturdy
looking dame, who was knitting stockings, had =
load oil wool on her head, child tied on her BACK.
and cudgel under her arm. with w5lich she vas
driving four cows before her Nor was neg
tongue idle, for she scolded the cows in Welsit Z
they dared TO swerve from the patt she meant
them to pursue.
FIRE.-There were two fires in oslr town LIST
week. One on Friday night. whicheptirely CEN
sumed the dwelling at Fleets, thssssidence oe
Mr. Benjamin Boisseau; and the 7etl4r, on Sat:
urday night which destroyed shed near h.:
Byrne's stable on the river. We regret to learn
that man belonging to Mr.. Cox, whowas Sleep
ing in this shed, was burned to death.
Petersburg Republican ofthe 1lth
Albert ]. Tirre, although acquitted at Bostea
en his trial for arson, is held for sentence under
l,f.o