Anti-slavery bugle. [volume] (New-Lisbon, Ohio) 1845-1861, 1847-02-05
From the Yankee Doodle.
Mexican War.

Mexican War.
Cabinet Councils-Entire Change Of Tactics
The Wal made Rational, Philosophical,
and more Economical than Peace --latest
News from MISUNDERSTANDING
Important-if true.
YANKEE Doodle has the pleasure to Law
before the public, what the public will hatch
If il pleases-a piece of the most astonish-
inr intelligence from Washington, received
from, by and of his Washington correspond
ent. The faithful correspondent, after having
obtained the information from the most au-
,hpntic source-to wit, the key-hole of the
Cabinet CounciIs-wrote "a letter; and be-
inc IT. too great a hurry to attach his SIG ma
lure, attached himself 10 it-literally sealing
il with his WI arms-and got it despatched
by the lightning telegraph-the first literal
male that has been so despatched. The let
ter was of such tremendous consequence and
magnitude that it took two first class thun-
der bolts to drag and push it on.
We hasten to break the seal and extract
the oil of the letter.
WASHINGTON, 81 min.
40 sec. past midnight.
DEAR YANKEE DOODLE:
The Cabinet have at last resolved to do
what would have saved the whole of the last
camp pain, il they had done Il at first. They
have resolved to attack the sea, the climate
and the mountains of Mexico. As the ppo.
pie of Mexico, especially the better half Of
them, are no obstacle to the progress of our
arms. but quite the reverse, the troops will
be wisely withdrawn.
A grand commission, consisting of the
three most classical members, Hon. r. C.
Winthrop, Hon. r. Barnwrll Rhett, and
Hon. Sausage Sawyer, is to be sent to the
Hellespont to fish up the chain and whips
with which XerXes so successfully confined
and puni shed that arm Of the sea. The wav
these instruments of marine torture will he
applied 10 the cantankerous waves of the
Gulf of Mexico, will be d caution to all mi
nor mud-puddles.
As to the climate, the command will be
given to Professor ESpy, under the title of
Vpntilator General of the Mexican War;
His first movement will be to blow up the
fires of the Volcanoes, particularly Orizibi
and Popocatepetl, and cap them with his pa
tent smoke-drawers. From these patent
smoke-drawers, india rubber tubes will be
extended to Vera Cruz and Tampico, by
means of " hich the yellow fever can be cool
ed, conquered, thrashed into a blue ague, at
the shortest notice. The same system will
enable the Ventilator General 10 apply the
hydropathic tactics to the dry season, and,
rice uerSa, the tapping, cupping, bleeding,
blistering, dissicating system of welfare to
the wet season. In short Gen. Espy will be
able to conquer not only a piece but the whole
Of that climate as fast as he can meet it on
the field of battle.
To attack the mountains, a corps of sap
heads and minors will be raised, consisting
Of distinguished members Of Congress and
their hopeful sons, 81 of the former to 40 o.
the latter, 10 be headed by the Executive il
person. The corps will Immediately dis
under the mountains, and in fact under the
whole great Mexican tAble-laud, the minors
having had experience in digging under ia
bles. Thu high tariff cotton Wings havin
been stepped in acid ever since the passag,
of the present revenue law. will then be in
highly explosive state. Though their explo
sions have heretofore been very harmless j
the open air, yet being rammed into the hol
and wadded down by Mr.. Waddy ThomT
son, Mr.. SlideIl will apply himself as
match, and blow the whole of Mexico int
the middle of the next century. Mr.. Pol
having thus chastised the sea, conquered tn
climate. blown up the mountains and forgot
ten the three former victories, will only hav
TO carry out his mastery policy of !ettin
Santa Anna and PdradeS use up each otheI
to be able to congratulate his beloved an
wonderful country with another g bloodles
annexation" OF course the mines that wi
be opened in blowing up The mountains wi
vastly more than pay all the expenses of tn
enterprise.
am, dear YANKEE DooDLE,
Yours, with distinguished consideration,
BY THUNDER.