Ypsilanti sentinel. [volume] (Ypsilanti, Washtenaw Co., Mich.) 1843-1900, 1847-05-05
APOLOGIES.
Justice Shatlo@. Sir john hath injured me.
BardoLph. Sir, he doth, i'm some sort, COME.
Meyr,, Hires of IJy;,d a..

II, CONFESS
Merry Wircs Of Windsor.
Perhaps we ought to begin this article with
all apology to our readers but, on second
thought, remembering that, should prove dull,
they have remedy i'll their own hands--name-
ly, the power of putting the paper out of them,
we abstain.
We do not often enter Court of Justice,s-
Because we like to behave reverently, go where
we will: and in the halls of sacred Themis one
sees so much to make one laugh, that we dis
like risking being turned out. But the other
day we happened to witness scence on the
legal stage which made the stern Judge himself
smile, and
'fOur bloods no more obey the heavens
Than do our Counsels' looks the Courts
(By the way, the above is perversion of a
passage in the opening of Cymbeiine, which
nobody understands but ourselves.) Ermine,
silk grown, and stuff ditto we're all shaken with
merriment. So We thought we also might
laugh-and we did.
the best intentions, circulated some scandal a
bout lady, true or false, he had, clearly, no
business to talk about it. Counsel on both
sides agreed in this, and it was arranged that
provided the same gentleman would apologize,
there should be an end of the affair; the plain
tiff was not malicious, only indignant.
The next thing, and the real battle, was the
settling of terms of apology. And this was
the conversation that took place.
Plaintiffs Counsel. The apology must of
course, be ample enough TO satisfy the lady's
wounded feelings.
DEFENDANTS Counsel. Without unnecessa-
ry humiliation to those or The defendant.
p. C. When a man does wrong, he must ad-
nit it freely.
ID. c. Of course: but you don't want him
to crawl at your feet.
p. c. l said nothing about crawling.
ID. G. ] never said you did.
p. G. You implied it.
ID. c. Your subtlety is inconceivabc to dis
cover that.
p. C. / appeal to the Court
ID. c. About what.
The Judge. Now then, arrange the terms
of this apology. think with the plaintiffs
counsel, that it should be ample.
ID. c. No doubt, my lord. no doubt. have
no objection to make il as ample as possbles
p. c. Very we'll. 1t might run thus--ssI,
Timothy Titus Philemon Blurt"-well, what
do you object to in that. It's the defendants
name isn't iti
ID. c. Who is objccting! NY learned broth
er is wonderfully thin-sklnned this morning.
P. c. You looked as if you were going to
object.
d, c. Never mind my looks.
p. c. l don't.
ID. G. FIN glad fit. Go on.
p. G. al Timothy Titus
!, D. c. What are you going over that again
for?
P. c. Because you interrupted me.
ID. c. No such thing.
P. c. / appeal to the Court.
ID. c. What abouti
The Judge. think you had better go on.
p. c. Well, 81 Burt"
ID. G. You do.
p. c. Witty that. My learned brother
should keep it for his next tragedy. "Do hereby
admit that in propagating false and"
d. c. Stop. We shan't say false.
p. c. You must.
d. C.. Not false-I don't mind erroneous.
p. c That won't do.
ID. c. Say unfonnded.
p. G. Well, ''unfounded and malicious SIAN
Ter
d. C. Not bit of it. Neither malicious
Tor SANDER.
P. G. may as we'll sit down:
D. C. don't object to that. (T'hfy TOOK |
ulhily at one another for fpe minutes.
The Judge. / think you had better go on.
&C. Oh! if your Lordship thinks So"
And thus the high contracting parties welt
N for an hour or more, snarling or snatching
t one another like(pdrdon the sinlle) two dogs
pon rug, the plaintiffs counsel trying TO
make the apology as strong, and the defendants
advocate striving to leave it as weak; as pos
ible. When it is settled, the defendant refus-
d to sign it at all, SO all the work has to be
one over again.
Contrast this with the conduct of two parties
we knew them both) at the pleasant and clean
7 town of Bury st. Edmunds. a Young mill