Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1847-08-12

and, heaven be praised something green,
something beautiful TO see, and grateful to the
soul, will, in the coolest and darkest hour OF
fate, sill twIne its tendrils around the crumb.
ling affairs and broken prches OF the desolate
temples Of the human heart
"lsn't II time 10 think about getting up ~
SAID the wife, as she ratified at the door.
Yes, my dear" replied the husband, II
have been thinking about it an hour and a
half
A newly arrived Hiberhan was asked at,
dinner, a few days ago, by friend, whether
ne would take some of the apple pie. lis it
houlsom 7" inquired Teddy. ITO be sure il
So was the reply. "What makes you ask
such u question ~ because" said the new
conner, II meet had an uncle that was kill
ed wid the aPpieplixy, and sure thought it
might be something Of that sort"
4 QUAKERs LETTER.--FrleDd John, de-
sire thee 10 be so kind as 10 90 TO one OF those
sinful men III the flesh called attorneys. and
lei HIM take out an instrument with a seal
theTeunto By means whereof we may seize
the outward tabernacle OF George Green.
and bring him before the lamb skin men at
Westminster ana teach him TO do as he would
be done by.-Thy friend, X. G.
Evil THouGHTs. Evil thoughts are worse
enemies than lions and tigers for we can
keep out OF the way of wild beasts, but bad
thoughts win their way everywhere. The
cup that is full will hold no more keep your
head aud heart full OF good thoughts, that bad
thoughts may not find room to enter.
A lady, regular shopper who had made
an unfortunate clerk tumble over all the stock
ings in his shop--they We're fall goods-ob-
servet. that none were long enough. j want
the very longest hose that are made Then,
madame, YOU had better apply at the next en-
CINE house"
a New WAY TO KEEP DRY.--I say Jem,'
said ploughboy the other day TO his compan-
ION, Il know of a new fashion mickntosh to
keep out the wet What's thatP Why,
IT YOU eat a red herring for breakfast you'll
be dry ali day.
Ireland. when most celebrated for 'taters,'
had one later more remarkable than all the rest
the great agi tdter. Now. alas for Ireland,
her laters are all gone, and the agitator, too
has left her.
SIS that lightning bug in the street % as
ked purblnd old lady. mo, grandma"
said pert miss, Its big bug with cigar"
"A lawyer" said Lord Brougham, in IA
cetious mood. sis a learned gentleman who
rescues Your estate from your enemies; and
keeps il himself"
His lordshp gives pretty fair portrait of
himself
The WEIGH have saying that If a woman
were as quick with her feet as with her tongue,
she would catch lightning enough 10 make
fire in the morning"
"What is patrimony?" Something left by
father What would you call il ii left by
mother} Matrimony.
1t has been ascertained in England that, for
collecting charitable contributions, one woman
was equal to thirteen men and a half That
Is the case about here.
Party FMR.-"Why don't your father
take a newspaper 2" said gentleman to a lii
tie urchin whom he had caught plIiering one
from his doorstep. ''Ile sends me 10 take il"
cried the boy.
"Wllt thou have me, Susy ?" said young
man to a modest girl.
NO, William, but YOU may have me if you
will"
a servant girl, writing a letter, asked her
master it the next month had come in vet
he laughed. "Well, said she, ''what meant
IS, has the last month gone out yet 2"
The term guerrilla is a diminulive of the
Spanish word guerra, war, and literally sgni-
hes little war"
"SErTiNG MAN TRAP" IS the title given to
picture Of a very pretty Young lady arranS-
lag her cur.s al mirror
.Iook here; Tom. what do you think Of
this here printing business Am: it an aston
lshlng thing to you ?" wei boss II is they
may talk about their national conventions, but
think The art Of printing is about the greatest
convention that ever seen IN my born days"
II expect, said a young physician just en-
teTng on the practice Of medicine, ito see a
good many death beds" No doubt" said
his friend, "ityou have much practice"
A HARD HT.-Durng season Of great re-
lglous declenson, an aged deacon was asked
whether the church he belonged to were uni
ted. All, yes" replied the good old man
without emotion, ''For we are all frozen To-
gether."
WINK As GOOD As Nop.-A gentleman
upon retiring from a friends house, having
gwen hearty squeeze Of the hand Of one Of
the young ladies. she innocently observed,
",Oh, if it comes to that, must speak to my
father"
GREAT Loss. Gen. Tom Thumb has lost
his dog that weighed pound and half. He
died at Salem the other day.
COAL. COAL,