Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1847-08-06
SPECULATION IN WHISPERS: or.
Shaving in Brokers Office.
ny SOL. SMITH.


There lived in Milledgeville, in 1892 da ndi-
fled individual, whom we will call jerks This
individual had tolerably favorable opinion of
his personal appearance. His fingers were
hooped with rings, and his shirt bosom was
deckcd with magnificent breast pin coat
hat, vest, and boots were made exactly to fit
he wore kid gloves Of remarkable whteness
his hair was oiled and dressed in the latest and
best style-and to complete his killing appear.
ance. he sported an enormous pair of REAL
WHISPERS OF these whiskers jerks was as
proud as young cat is of her tail when she
first discovers she has one.
was sitting one day in brokers' office when
jerks came in to inquire the price of exchange
on New York. He was invited to sit down. and
a cigar was offered. Conversation turning on
the subject of buying and selling stocks, re-
mark was made by a gentleman present, that he
thought no person should sell ont stock in such
and such bank ut that time, as it must get
better in few days.
81 will sell any thing I've got, if | can make
any thing on it," remarked jerks.
sob, no." replied one, mot any thing; YOU
wouldn't sell your WHISPERS"
A loud laugh followed this chance remark
jerks Immediately answered: 81 would-but
who would mam them Any person making
the purchase would lose money by the operation,
I'm thinking"
SWELL observed. I" would be willing to
take the speculation, if the price could be made
reasonable.
Oh, I'll sell EN- cheap answered jerks,
winking at the gentlemen present.
"What do you call cheap ?" inquired
"Ill sell EN- for fifty dollars" jerks answer
cd, putting forth a cloud of smoke across the
counter, and repeating the wish.
wen, mat Is cheap ana youA sell your
MINISTER'S Tor ii'y dollars
Will ~
ron OF .llem
:, P nm o. 'hen'' ,,,Lo 49,. -,
A., ,;',, ," ,,o', o,a,' -, oai c LAW .ue'
W. ,,,oIl tbo,,ro nina ,h;mi slo,,
1orio nno o ham ''" ~, ,oay, '"" e''a''
I,noi, Xii ~ s,,e ~ G,lIoms
:. poroi,oJ of Sal Sr,i,h Nh, u, ,v,.. :, cal,
for nv cron Of wbiskers f. he wnrn md ,al .,,
coro Of hy mo nd d,liyereJ 70 him uhan oaiIoJ
fnr y NV nun "Ipn o',,eo
M, ,,,,,, IS ee,,, ,,u,. ,,;J w.,
on ~ I",i W., p'"' Inu 'It'N
,t' co "i W y, "'s' stuo'
III" 1--WE oeh'rai na'h y anu .ei'ihg an ms ac-
qua,h'ahceS OF the great oarSaih lie hau MADE
IN the sale OF ms MINISTER'S.
The broker and his friends laughed at me for
being taken in so nicely. Never mind said
], "et them laugh that win; III make profit
out of those whiskers, depend on it."
For month after this. whenever met jerks,
he asked me when intended 10 call for my
whiskers
"Ill let You know when ! want them" was
always my answer, " Take good care of them
oil them occasionally; | shall call for them
one of these days"
| A splendid ball was to be given to the mem
bers of the Legislature. | ascer,ancd that
jerks was to be one OF the minagers-he being
great laiy's man, Con account OF his WHISPERS
suppose ana \ occurred 10 me that before the
ball TOOK pace hlsht can ior my MINISTER'S
One morning met jerks IN birbers shop
lie was aa'r'%'hs o'lore i,rg9 mirror ahu
cono'ng up my Wh'N'rs 1T usV" oi rtte'
AN! there yon are od Fellow sad ne
speaking to my reflection IN the glass. "Comt
for your whlskers, suppose
ION, no hurry, replied, as sal down io
shave.
ALWAYS ready you know, he answered
giving hnal tie to ms cravat
Come to think OF H., l SAID musingly, al
lhe oarper began 10 put the ia'her on my iace
PerhaPs now "ou'u oe do eopu a .,'lo as an
pihIr you ri" Ky ,n 'h;,I"r, '' '''' "
III. .W 1'" cnui%u,t wait mni, ,o.morrow cou,,
,, y, ho aSLaJ bos;,s,inrly $ Thera,s - h,
sohu ,u to'n;,,b, T,n knn,yeE, ~ ~
o H. ba snro ;bore is and I ,bi,l ror or,h
70 20 With a clean face. At all ersnis 7 An
-, ra,s,,n ,,,h, van shonIJ 60, -, NO.