Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, 1847-05-29
what an OLD sa~nsr.

what An Old 0lAnUf.
Major Noah ssys what is appended bolow.-
What will the ladies do with the fellow for be-.
ing 50 uneallsnt sod naueh,yi IIesr him.
Tho man who breaks his back 10 bowing to
a lady-wbo wake in the mud that one Of the
SITTER eek may oot--who subjects himself to
We dsnxer Of desthin riding on the outside Of
the coach in the rain, to make room insde for
female who might conveniently wsit fof the
next vehicle. -who meekIy endures every af
troat put upon him IN obedience to silly caprice
who submits quietly 10 any wrong IL il is in.
flicted BY daughter Of Eve--s gallant man
according TO popular prejudice. Very we'll
Apsin. We don't believe word Of Il. Eve.
rybody,-mne or female-is entitled to courte.
~ and respect when they award them TO others,
but the notion Of gallansry may be carried
Little far. A womsn hes no right to demand
The sacrifice Of he.creatures comfort to her
rwn. Abou, year ago gentleman At one Of
the Philadelphia theatres was dragged into The
street and covered with bruises, because he re.
fused to vaca,e seat for which he had paid
and negotiated, to permit q strange female to
occupy it.-This was an outrage for which eve.
~ actor in il ought to have found six nonths'
residence in Moysmensipg prison. and yet eve.
ry body ssid--'Scrved the imPolite fellow pro.
pery. What business had he to sit when 4
lady wanted bis place in q crowded house ?
Was ever mistaken notion Of chivalry carried
to such extremes! Why did not the lady insist
on having the gen,leman's bat and boots!
Treat woman with kindness and the most
scrupulous respect, so long as they conduct
themselves in keeping with the attributes of
their sex: when they depart from the obeer.
vance OF those quaiities-cowhide us in the
etrcets--outrant us in public assemblies-talk
politics with knowing air-don the unwhisper.
sbes-and insist upon slavsh homage and the
neglect of every personal right in obedience to
their tyranicol wishes, avoid them, for they feel
them as Eve did when che cosxeG daddy Adam
to devour that fatal apple, core and all, and are
thinking Of another Fall o: Man.
A Coon SroRY.-There lived lately in one
of the mounta inous counties in Western Penn.
sylvania many Germans, and among them one
Henry Shnyder; and there were likewise two
brothers. called George and Jake Fulwiler-
they were oil rich, they each owned mill
Henry Shnyder was subject 10 fits OF derange
meni, but they were not Of such 4 nature ss to
render him disagreeable TO any one. He mere.
ly conceived himself 10 be the Supreme Ruler
ot the Universe; and, while under the infatua.
tion, he had himself throne built. on which he
sat TO try the cause Of all who offended him;
and passed them off to heaven or hell. ss his hu.
NOR prompted-he personatng both Judge and
culprit.
1t happened one day that some difficulty oc-
CURED between Henry Shnyder and the Fulwi-
ers, on account of their mills; when, TO be q.
venged, Henry Shnyder took along with him
book in which he recorded his judgments, and
mounted his throne to try their causes. lie
was heard to pass the following Judgments
Having prepared himself (acting as Judge
and yet responding for the accused, he called
George Fulwilcr.
'Shorge Fulwiler, stand up. What hash you
been doin in dis lower world!'
'Ah Lort, does not know
We'll, Shorge Fulwiler, hasn't you got .
mil!'
Yes, l.ort, | baeh.'
We'll. Shorge Fulwiler, didn't you never
take too much toll!
Yes, Lort, l hash-when der water was low,
und men stones wash dull, I take lee,le too
much toll.
well. den. Shorge Fulwiler, you must 60 to
der left, mid der goats
well, Shake Fulwiler, now you stand up
What you been doin in dis lower worId!'
The trial proceeded throughout precisely
like the former, end with the same RESULT
'Now tries miseself. Henry Shnyder -
Henry Shnyder stand up. What hash you
been doin in dis lower world!'
'Ah Lort, does not know
Well, Henry Shnyder, hasn't you got mill ,
Yes. Lort. hash
well, Henry Shnyder. didn't you never take
too much toll'
Yes. Lort, I hssh-whsn der water wash
low urd mien stones wash dull, ! hash taken 9
isetle too much TOLL
Bot, Henry Shnyder, vat did you do wild del
toll
'Ah! Lnrt, gives il TO dc poor.
(Pausing) We'll Henry Shnyder, you mus
go to der right der sheep; bui ii is tam zig h
sqneeze'