The examiner. [volume] (Louisville, Ky.) 1847-1849, 1847-12-11

whether it was the happy minded author Of
the Worthless and the Church History OIL
Britain who proposed as an epitaph for
himself the words 'Fuller's Earth, OF
whether some one proposed it for him. But
it is in his own style Of thought and feeling.
Nor has it any understanding levity, like this
which is among Brownies poems
Here lieth in sooth
| Honest John Tooth
| Whom Death on day
| From us drew away
Or this, upon Mr.. Button.
Here lieth one, God rest his soul
Whose grave is but q button-hole.
1t is not good thing TO be Tom d or Bold
Jack'd or Jim'd, Sand or Bend, Natty d
or Batty'd, Neddy'd OF Teddy'd, Wild or
BilPd, Dick'd or Nick'd, yoe'd OF Jerry d
as you 90 through the world. And vet il is
worse to have a Christian name that for its
oddity shall be in everybody's mouth when
you ere spoken OF, as if it were pinned
upon your back, or labelled upon your
forehead. Quintin Dick for example, which
would have been still more unlucky if Mr..
Dick had happened to have cast in his
eye. The Report on Parochial Registra-
ton contains singular example Of the in
convenience which may arise from giving a
child an uncouth christian name. A
gentleman called Anketil Gray had &C.
casion for a certificate Of bis baptism :;
il was known at what church he had been
baptized, but on searching the register there
no such name could be found some mis-
take was presumed therefore not in the en-
try, but in the recollection Of the parties,
and many other registers were examined
without success. At length the first register
was again required to, and then upon a
closer investigation, they found him entered
as Mss Ann Kettle Grey. . ~ etc
tOuyours fort stonne,' says Bayle, que les
families qai POrtend un nom Odieuz on
ridicitle, ne te quittent pas. Il have al
ways been astonished, that families who
bear odious or ridiculous names, do not
change them.) The Leatherheads and
Shuiflebottoms, the Higgenses and Huggen-
ses, the Scroggses and Scraggses, Sheep
shanks and Ramsbottoms, Taylors and
BARRIERS, and worse than all, Butchers,
would have been to Bayls as abominable as
they were TO DR.. Dove. | ought, the DIR.
would say, to have a more natural dislike
to the names Of Kite, Hawk, Falcon and
Eagle and yet they are to me (the first
exceptedD less odious than names like
these: and even preferable to Bull, Bear,
Pig, Hog, Fox, or Wolf. What a name,
he would say, is Lamb for soldier, Joy for
an undertaken, Rich for pauper, OF Noble
for tailor: Big for lean OF little person, and
Small for one who is broad in the rear and
abdominous in the van. Short Tor a fellow
six feet without his shoes, or Long for him
whose high heels hardly elevate him to the
heighth Of five. Sweet for one who has
either a vinegar face or foxey complexion.
Young husband for an old bachelor. Mer-
ryweather for any one in November or Feb
ruary, black spring, cold summer, or
wet autumn. Goodenough for person no
better than he should be; Toogood for any
human creature, and Best for subject who
is perhaps too bad to be endured. Csstom
having given to every Christian name its
alias, he always used either the baptismal
name or its substitute as it happened to suit
his fancy, careless of what Others might do.
Thus he never called any woman Mary,
though Mare he said being the sea was in
many respects but too emblematc Of the sex.
1t was better to use synonyme of better
omen, and Molly therefore was to be prefer
red as being soft. If he accosted vixen
Of that name in her worst temper he molly
fed her. On the contrary he never
could be induced to substitute Sally
for Sarah. Sally he said had salacious
sound, and moreover it reminded him of
rovers, which women ought not to be-
Martha he called Patty, because it came pat
to the tongue. Dorothy remained Dorothy,
because it was neither fitting that woman
should be made Dolls, nor Idols. Susan
with him was always Sue, because women
were to be sued, and Winifred Winny be-
cause they were to be won. The Doctor.