Iowa capitol reporter. [volume] (Iowa City, Iowa) 1841-1855, 1847-09-22
About u Umbrellas.

has coaxed out of some old corner, brush
ed off the dust, and sent abroad once more
in the world. We well recollect the stir.
ring scene Of which this friend is the her.
ald-being no more or less, than an article
which secured to history faithful account
Of an umbrella incident, Of profound inter-
est. Upon no subject has the world been
more definitely indefinite, than the code Of
umbrella ethics. We strove from time to
time, to get the kinds Of confusion
Strengthened out, and ventured as far in
our enthusiasm, az to dare the risk of an
nouncing the fact that we had an umbrella
ready for the appearance Of the rightful
and legal owner. How We Jared for our
folly let the story tell.
"Well, 1t became our solemn duty day
or two since, to announce to the world,
that an umbrella was in our charge, await
ing the owners attention. We grieve to
say, 'ha. while we were proud to be an in
strument Of virtuous reform, yet it was
season Of sore persecution, and also Of much
tribulation."
"Misthur edtur, an'ye've an ould um.
brella is mine, understand"
"What sort is it?'
"Wal, to be sure, for the matter iv that
it's not SO much any how-it's jist cothen,
a bit brown about the edges, and dirty sort
iv white on the top, jist where it faded,
sure, and there's hole or two, may be
about as big as me hat, and wan iv the
things kaIed bones which is iv wood, is
broke, and be the same token, it was done
by batten Mrs. Dinnis over the head till
bring her till reason, and"
"Never mind, dear sir, it is not your
umbrella, for it is silk and new"
"Cant stop sir-if yours is cotton,
them
ENTER devil.) "Waiting for copy,
SIR"
"Well wait then here is "a"
can yen not show me the UMBRELLA"
"Can't stop, sir; got copy to VIZ"
SIS this the Editors shop?"
"Yes, madam, walk in. Ephraim, hand
the lady a chair; be seated madam"
Lady sis-a leg of the chair gives way,
and down came the lady with tremend
Gus crash and shriek-all hands rush in to
rescue her-and after thousand explain
atoms and apologies she is accommodated
with seat on the dead paper barrel
Il am sorry to disturb you sir, but my
son has lost his umbrella. and paid big
price for it, to take to HAVANA, where he
is going as supercargo h sloop, on ac-
count Of his health, which is very poor,
ana his aun, Marian says he may be"
Devil-"Copy SIR"
"Cear out!''
81 don't wish to disturb you sir, bu, l
under"
sis this the office of the Star?''
YES SIR"
Il see that you have an"
"Whrre's the editor? an, good morning,
hope that that umbrella you mentioned
this morning, is the one l."
mime Got, vat a crowt! Val now,
mynheer ash you ish got mine ombrel-"
'Gracious, can't | get in here? | want
to see the editor. Where is he-el,, that
him!- Looks more like an owl than an
editor. But want to see that umbrella,
that is"
"Io bien! mon deu! begare l shall get TO
dis vot you call won embroIla, neyare! Mon
s'eur, shall tell you two tree word, de
tam umbrella shall lose Oh de-"
IA! hands waiting for copy sr.''
Nood people, patience If you will
Just range yourselves against that " all two
deep while we get little copy for"
"Good morning, Mr.. Star. l see YOU
probably have my umbrella; just the de-
scription-lost it last--'
"You advertise an umbrel-mi.e was
black silk with"-"Stand back, here
are four ladies' want to come in. and sew
en- boys, all that um-" "has it an iyory
to-!" 'Can'tyou just hold it up?'
"oh dear, don't push So Open the
door if you pl-" "Copy SIR" "Where's
tne ed'--"Bow-wow.w WOW ki-i-yi-
eye!. "klll that dog-what scrouging
time" "Mr. Editor do"
;, Ladies and gentlemen! silence! dol
silence! silence! keep quiet! There now,
tyou will just be still moment, we will
get the umbrella, and hold it up where YOU
can see it, and if the owner is here, he or
she can take it. Ephroim reach it here:
stand srs back gentlemen; be quiet now
mere now, there l,-"(About forty
voices That's mine, YES that's its
In rushed the crowd the editor was knock
ed over, his coat torn, one boot patch
s'o'en' the umbrella ripped into fifty pie
ces. inc ladies were roughly handled and
snf'eked vociferously, and horrible confu.
sion re'gned supreme, until aid came to
clear the office. The devil has not been
seen SINCE and on hearing stiaed grunt
IN a corner, we stepped up there and
found Ephraim had the Dutchman in the
melee,and. was indus,riously at work in the
corner choking him. AS Mynheer arose
with face like red beet and pasn;no n,
breath he gave profound snort, shook him.
SELL opened wide his mouth, and prun.ed
out-ugh! dunder and blazin; cot tam
where ish dat umbrel?"
After this, people will please bring no
umbrellas, but deliver us from ever AGAIN
having found umbrella in our sanctnm
II was madness in the first place. Bripp
4