The Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1846-1852, 1847-09-10
4 Gurmorous 9ktttb.
Mrs. Magwirrs Account of Dca. Whipple.

tured, haint no malice at heart in his
capers. He was a leetle nicked though
about that cider hoax he played off on
Deacon Whipple and Deacon Bedott.
See-did you ever hear about that
Well, I'll tell you, for | think it was one
O. the cutest tricks he ever come. But
in the first place you nus know what
sort of a man Deacon Whipple was, or
else you won't sense the joke. Well,
accordin' to my notion, he was about as
contemplate a specimen of a man as ev-
er wake ed shoe-lealher Ialways thought
so, and so did husband, though there was
a good many folks in Wiggletown looked
upon him as clear perfection, cause he
had so much sanctimony. He comes
from Midleville to our town, and he was
so wonderful pious, and made such an
awful parade of his religion, prayin' and
exhortin' and laborin' for souls, as he call
ed, that when he'd ben there about three
months, they made him deacon. AS soon
as he was promoted, he begun meddlin'
in everybody's business the worst way,
watchin' all the neighborhood, and takin'
on 'em to dew for every little thing that
diddent happen to come up to his ideas
o duty. This he called 'consarn for the
welfare O. Zion AS sure as Their was a
party o young folks, there was Deacon
Whipple's long nose poked into some O.
the winders to pry out what was done.
And ifthar was any church members a.
mong EN-, and they happened to play
"Button-button! who's got the button?"
or dance round a little, he'd have 'em
hauled up before the session to answer
for t. 1t seemed to dew him a deal O.
good to ketch any o. the brethren or sis
tiers a trippin.' A body'd a thought he
spent the heft of his time a pryin' into
other folks bizness, but some how or 9TH
or he managed to take care of his own
tew; he was a tailor by trade, and a reg'lar
old cabbagin' skinflint to boot. That re-
minds me O. what 10 Snyder said to him
once. You see he was an awful stingy
%critter, and so was Mrs. Whipple. The
'prentices used to complain dreadfully O.
their livin'-said they was nigh about
starved. Well, 10 Snyder he stuck his
head into the shop winder n day and
says he, 10 was an independent %critter,,
Deacon, how comes it you starve yel
'prentices so, when you're always SC
flush O. cabbagel' The deacon was aw.
full mad. Says he to Jo,'Ifyou was a pro
fess0you'dketch it. He was amean look
in man tew. You'd a know'd to see
him in the street that he was a contrac.
ted critter--had a stingy kind of walk
went along as ifhe begrudged the room
he took up. The circumstances l was
f gwine to tell took place when he'd ben
deacon only a little risin' tew year-and
, it's a solemn fact, there'd been more cases
O. discipline in that short time than the
t was afore sence the place was settled
Now Deacon Bedott want such a mai
at all. He was great on prayin' and ex
hortin' but he dident NEEDLE in his ma
bors' consarn, ner think himself so mucl
~piouser and better'n all the rest O. crea
r ton. Well the next fall arter we com
Q away from Wiggletown, husband ant
me went out there a %visitin.' You see
b mother Poole and mother Magwire bot
+ lived there, and sister Bedott tow, and
spent the time %visitin' round from one t
t'other. Well one evenin' | was 10 siste
Bedott's-husband had gone over t
mother Magwire's Twas about a yea
afore Deacon Bedott died, and he wan
very well-you know he was feeble
number of years afore his death. Wei
: he and sister Silley and me was settir
round the settin'.room fire. and Arte
misty Pike-the wilder Pixies oldes
darter-she was a spendin' the evenir
there. Artemishy was jest a tellin' IL
about Deacon NIPPLES comm to thei
y house the day aforo to take Cinthy (he
youngest %sister,) to dew, cause he
IS heerd how't she tended a ball when sh
N was over to Varmont a v%isitin'; and Artt
misty was in all awful fidget aboutit fc
fear he'd have her hauled up fort, an
she wanted Deacon Bedott to try to pre-
vent it.
Well, she was jest a tellin' about
20 when Their come a knock TO the doc
Walk in says sister Bedott-and WI
re should walk in but Deacon Whipple viii
TX Deacon Kenipe anl Deacon Crosby
"a behind him! There says | to Artim
IS, shy, the Old Ones at hand when your
IS taikin about him. 'Hush!' says she
at Lawful sakes! says |; 4 amt Altered
be bein' hauled up-I don't live here
to When they come in Artemishy locke
half skairt to death. She thought they
he come to talk about dealin' with Cinth
but sister Bedott whispered tew her, al
says she, Don't be afeared; | don't ble'
it's Cinthy; l guess more likely its 81
Colling." cTwas the same time thu
or or had her over the coals.) Whatever'tw
m. we all know'd twas purity important bu'
ness,for Deacon Whipple looked wonde
full big and awful solemn; his face W
= about halfa yard long. But though
tried to appear as ifhe felt dreadful bi
us. twas plain TO be seen he was enjoyin'
lso state Of intarnal satisfaction-lookedj i
u.s. as he always did when he got hold o
case that suited him to a I. But De
- con Kenipe and Deacon Crosby look.
as if they rally felt bad. (They was We
clever men indeed) They didn't say
word, but Deacon Whipple he convers
a spell about matters and things in &c
eral, said the weather was uncomm