The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1847-07-09
HOW JEDEDIAH WAS sU CKED IN.

HOW JEDEDlAH WAS SU CkED in.
"Is the Squire tu hum?" inquired an elon-
gated individual, yesterday, who pushed his
head in the Recorders Office. 1t being
about dinner hour. none of the officials hap
pened TO "tu hum;" but couple of cits,
who were lounging inside, invited him in,
and inquired his business.
"Well," said he in beautiful nasal, "my
business amt much, but tell me which is the
Squirrel"
ale is at dinner, sir" said one of the
pair, "but, if you have anything very urgent,
we will send for him."
"Well, | ain't got much in particular"
answered the Eastern man, "but jest this
mornin' feller from The jinin State Of H.
linois played me one of the allfredest mean
tricks I've heern on lately"
"What was il lke?" inquired the listener.
swell, it want much like anything" said
he, "but an all created suck in. Where is
that Sqfire," he burst out again: "l'll hev
the mean crtier jerked into a Jail eff it COSTS
me dollar"
"Wha, did he do2" persisted the ques-
toner. ..
"Wcll 'twant much of anything except
scH,i' said he; and then breaking out again,
he exclaimed: "Oh, Jedediah Dexter! thai
anything cute as you're allowed tu be shud
be drawn intu sech scrape by yalier look
in, ager shakin', corn rasin', sarpnt as that
follat!"
"Was he a Sucker?" impaired thesgent.
"Well, he want much ese," said the af
flic,ed mourner, "and the fullest grown one
I've seed lately-cuss his pictur."
"But you have not told US what his Of
fence was,n continued the other.
"No," said he, W an't and, what's wus-
ser darned sight, Pm ashamed III; all crc-
alton! that | shud been so tee-totally
groen. Iswow;'' said he, starting, 81 believe
won't tell it; III jest let the mean varmint
slide. 1t won't bear telin' on. WAY, ef]
they shud hoer it down in Connecticut, ]
couldn't never show myself at any futur'
Tbanksgiyin' in them lu,itudes; they'd holleg
meal at me jest as quick as they'd clap eyes
ON me-"
"Oh, come!" shouted both listeners, "you
are not going TO leave without enlighiening
us, now that you have raised our curiosity"
"Well, guess it won, hurt you much el
YOU don't heer it," and he was about to
move when one of his auditors informed him
that il was absolutely necessary that he
should stop and lodge his complaint, for that
evidently some wrong had been committed
and ifhe kept silent, and allowed it 10 pass
unpublished, he would be connvng at the
evil, and thereby lay hmselfla
"Is that the law, youa" inquired the Bit
ten complainant.
Bo;k listeners signifed the affirmative TO
his query.
"Wel, don't want to go agin law much, /"
said Jed, $50 yo kin hev the hull upshot OF
this in mint, and you'll allow it is mighty
mean. An Illinois ieller this mornin' walked
in,u my shop, where I'm merchandizin' along
side on the market, and got tu dickern'
some butter with me for groceries and other
notions. His potsof cows grease were dread
full nice on top, and tasted like new milk ar
ter spring grass. 1t just tuck me all OF
heap aud | bargained for all the critcr lud,
and got III selin' him the little fxins in cx-
change. He looked so eternal soft, and
swanyed round so ALFRED green, that didn't
once neV uTcdlnlll VI tHC CiIlGi uCiu
tricky; so the trade was did upmighty short,
and he travelled. Well, just mint sence,
turned out pot to sol customer, and |
swan tn man ef two-ihirds on it wasn't ansia-
jim meal dumplin'"
A burst oflaughter here broke from his
auditors, and, as they appeared to keep on
at it, instead sympathizing with Jed, he
raised himself proudly up under his load oil
surprise, and moved to the door.
"Ah! ha, ha, ha! I.jia dumplins! ah! hal"
shouted one ofthc convused listeners as Jed.
was retrealing.
"You needn't take on SO" says Jed, "lor
eff he don't think of his sins when he swal-
lers that tea sold him, then Pm mistaken
in the yarb lis perfectly awful on mans
bowels; specially when he amt used 10 il y
and amid shout Of laughter Jed. disappeard
congratulating himself at least on being eren.
>-Repcille.
r AZTEC RuINs.-Mr. Stanly, tie artist, VINO