Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1847-03-25
humorous Selections.
THE FUTURE UNION.
Correspondence Of the N. Y. Spectator.
IA AnxtANCE OF THE MAGNETIC TEI,FGRA

IN ADVANCE OF THE MAGNETIC TELEGRAPH.
WASHINGTON, FEB. 2S, 1917.
Messrs. Shortlegs and Sealskin, from
Greenland, took their seats in the Senate
this morning. We have now iull rep
resentation from every portion OF Amer
lea, and l am happy TO congratulate the
country, the people of which have sue
ceeded so well in carrying out the wish
es of those glorious, farseeing patriots,
whose cry hundred years ago was,
"The continent, the whole continent,
and nothing but the continent" An
appropriation was made to have the
chairs of the members from Patagonia
lowered, while those of the Greenland
ers are to be made higher.
This fully proves that Congress is in
favor of the dwelling system. Mr.. Fuego
de Terra, from Cape Horn, presented a
petition from Messrs. Penguin and 9TH
ers, praying that the Antarctic continent
be annexed to the Union. Mr.. De Terra
supported the petition in brilliant
speech, in which nc glanced at the past,
the present and the future. In allusion
to our past acquisition Of territory, he
said we much resembled the Roaming
Empire. He closed with splendid al
fusion TO the stars and stripes floating
triumphantly from the North and South
poles. Mr.. Tattoo, of New Zealand,
mot perfectly understanding the Ian
guage,) sprang to his feet at the word
(" stripes" and asked fthe member meant
any personal allusien 10 him. An ex-
PLANTATION was made with some difficulty,
and the New Zealander sat down.
The boundary dispute with Russia
is not yet concluded. That Government
asserts her right to one half the country
around the North Pole, while our Gov
eminent declares our title to the whole
to be clear and unquestionable. A COM
mlttee has been appointed to investigate
the truth of report. which says that the
Russians held war dance round the
pole and greatly insulted our flag. In
these times | think such a dispute to be
out of all latitude, and believe that it will
end in naught. A bill has passed in
committee of the whole, providing for
the placing of Drummond lights at the
Northern and Southern portions of the
continent, during the six months of night
peculiar to those regions. The light for
merly supplied by the Aurora Borealis,
it is said, has entirely failed, DIS the in
habitants keep the axis well creased,
thus preventing it from throwing off
sparks by friction, which it is we'll known
was formerly the cause of the Aurora.
The ayes and noes were called for but
were not taken, for the chairman, (who
is also not acquainted with the double
meaning of English decided that it was
unnecessary, as there were evidently two
eyes to every nose. Quite a flare up &C.
Cured in the House, between Mr.. Long
of Patagonia and Mr.. Short Of Green
land, in which Mr.. Long strided across
the floor and bravely dared Mr.. Short to
pull his nose. Mr.. Short politely decli-
ned performing the feat, as he was una
bic to reach up.
1t is very amusing to observe the ef-
feet of the climate upon different men,
bers. The Greenlanders insist upon
keeping the windows open, which very
much annoys the honorable gentlemen
from the Equatorial regions, who sit hud-
died together, and shivering round the
stove. A large reward has been offered
for plan to warm and cool the hall SO
as to suit the various temperaments. Mr..
Sealskin sleeps in patent refrigerator,
and has sent home for two or three ice.
bergs, which are expected soon to arrive.
The members from Brazil are much at
fected with chills, while gentleman from
the South Seas declares that he is fast
losing that which he came here to sup
port, viz: his constitution.
Many are the Misunderstanding rela-
tive 10 language. An Iowa member u
sed WeSternism by remarking that his
constituents did a whaling business in
produce upon which South Sea man
asked for an explanation, saying that he
thought it was his constituents who fol-
lowed that branch of fishing. A Hoosier
"reckoned it was rather tall party oil
fellows that he represented" when Pat
agonian asked the average height of the
Indianians. Such amusing mistakes are
constantly occurring, but is hoped they
will soon be rectified by the competent
) English teachers whom the Government,
has in its employ.
| believe there is nothing more new Of
, strange, and as the mail is about closing
: conclude with, yours, &c.
OLIVER NEW SCHOOL.
a RTCH SCENE