The Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1846-1852, 1847-08-20
4fIoior 1atk DOwmiug.
From Me National hieligeneer.

On he Road to the War AngHSt-lSE.
Ma. GALss & SEAroN:
NY dear old friends: | spose you'll be
amasinly disapiuted to find Pm away off
here, pushiu' on to the seat of war, and
didn'tcal to Q you when Icame through
Washington. But you mustn't blame me
for it. for couldn't help it; the President
wouldn't let me call: he said | was get
ting too thick with you, writing letters
to you and all that. And when he spoke
about the letters he looked kind of red
and showed considerable spunk.
Says he, Major Downing, l have put
a good deal of confidence in you as a
friend Of my administration; and if
you are a friend TO it. you must let
Gales and Seston alone; keep out Of
their way and have nothing to do with
with them; they are dangerous, mischief
making f%ellers, externally peckin at my adj
ministration, all weathers. Let me try
to keep things ever so snug, and lay my
plans ever so deep, they are sure to dig
them all up, lug them into the Intelligent
Ger, aud blaze 'em all over the country.
Confound their pictures, they are the
most troublesome customers all admins
tration ever had; they've come pretty
neal swapping me two or three times.--
So, if you are my friend, warn you not
to be so thick with Gales and Seat0n.
Well, says I, Colonel, you know am
a friend to you, and your administration.
as much as | ever was to the old Gineral
and his administration; and | shall stand
by you and do every thing | can to help
you out of this scrape you've got into a
bout the war. But | don't know as that
need to make me break with Gales and
Seaton. We've been old friends so long,
it would be kind of hard for me to give
'em up now; and | don't hardly think they
are quite so bad as you think for. They
may not mean to do you as much hurt
when they put these things into their pa
per, and ouly put them in because they
think folks want to know what's goin on.
Mr.. Richie sometimes puts things into Ills
paper that folks think do you no good.
The President gavet two or three chaws
upon bis cud oftobacco, and says he, Yes,
Major, shafts too true, aud it must be
confessed; and it annoys me beyond all
patience. But then | have to forgive it
and overlook it The old gentleman is
always sorry for it, and always willing to
take It back. And then he's such a tuf
old Teller to fight the federalists, | can't
have a heart to scold at him about his
mistakes and blunders.
Well. says |, Colonel, being you've
named federalists, | want to know if any
of them animals is really supposed to be
alive anywhere in the country nova
days. Seeing sich awful accounts about
EN- in the Union paper all the time, | in
quired all the way along through New
England, where they used to be the
thickest, and | couldn't get track of one;
and when | asked whether there was any
federalists any where in them quarters,
they all stared at me and said they didn't
know what sort of critters they was.--
When | got to Downingvill | asked uncle
Joshua about it. He said, in his young.
er days there used to be considerable
many of 'em about, but they wasn't
thought to be dangerous, for they never
was much given to fighting. But no said
he guessed they'd all died out long ago,
for he codldn't com across ono this
twenty years. So now Colonel, says |
how is il they are so thick in Mr.. Rich.
les paper all tho timo2
At that he give me n very knowing
kind of a look, and lowered his voice
down to a whisper, and says he, Major
I'll tell you how that is. When Mr.
= Richie was a young nan he used to fight
a good deal with the federalists, and
took a good deal Of pride in it; and now
the fancies and scenes of his youth seem
to come back fresh to his mind and he
can't think or talk about anything else.
You know that's oftentimes the way with
old people. AS he always used to have
the name of smart fighter, | give him
tho command of the newspaper battery
here to defend my administration. But
twas as great a mistake as twas whom ]
sent Taylor into Mexico; | didn't know
my man. No matter what forces was
gathering to overthrow my administra-
ton, Mr.. Richie somehow didn't seem to
see EN-; no matter how hard they fired at
me, he didn't SCENT to hear it; and when
] called on him to fire back, he would
rouse up and touch a few squibs with a.
bout as good aim as the boys take when
they fire crackers on the 9TH Of July. and
did about as much execution. AT last |
found Out a way that | could make the
old veteran fight like a Turk and hold on
like a bulldog. 1t was by giving him a
notion at any time that he was fighting
with federalists. Since | made that dis.
covery he's been more help to me-
Whenever | see the enemy entrenching
himself around mo, and bringing up his
batteries to FIRE Into my administration
all | have TO do is to whisperin Mr.. Rich,
les ear and say. "Mr. Richie, tho air
smells of federalism; you may depend IN.
It there is federalists abroad some where.
In a minute, you've no idea with whal
fury the old gentleman flies round, an,
mounts his heaviest guns, and sets his pa
per battery in a roar. His shots fly RICH
and left, and sometimes knock dow
friends as well as foes. To be suro the
don't make a very great impression upo
the enemy; but then there's this advau
tage in ii: Ifhe don't kill or beat off tn