Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1847-05-13

"do very near SolIS 10 tue pcnlIenlldry Tor
forgery, and is no better than he should be.''
81 wish he had gone," said Miss Sniille cit
would have saved his poor wife good deal
of misery. Oh! have you heard," continu-
ed Miss Snif1le, ''that Mary Dun has behav-
cd very badIy?" "No! How?'' "Why,
she ran off the other day with Peter Coal,
the blacksmih's son. Old Dun is furious
has disinherited her, and wont suffer her to
come to his house." 81 am glad of it, ex-
claimed Miss Dubbs, Kit serves him right.
Old Dun was perfect hog. lie treated
that child shamefully. They say when he
took whim he would lock her up for two
days at time, and feed her upon bread and
water. Oh, the old brute! should like
to be his wife for a short time; ! lay
would lead him dance" Here Miss Sniff
file stopped to catch her breath and wipe the
persperalion from her bumpy face, which
was now flushed by the heat of the gun
powder-imperial. In the name of common
sense, thought !, what is coming next? /
would give any thing reasonable to get clear
of this party. tried to change the topic
and edge in word now and then, but it
was no 60. Miss Spinkey, upon the filling
up Of her eighth cup: commenced TRADE
} against all denominations of Christians ex-
cept her own. She commended that half of
) the preachers nowadays were hypocrts
! and only preached for money. When she
) had finished her dissection of the clergy. she
flew off in tangent upon one Mr.. Moony.
/ "Yes,0 said she, ''there is Moony riding a.
| bout in fine carriage and living like a ma
bob, when this very day he owes our lami-
Iy one thousand dollars. He conveyed his
: property and then took the benefit. | be-
leve there is no justice in this land And
l there are his daughters as proud as pea
cocks. Do you think they would speak to
me at church last Sunday lsuppose they
5 thought they would be degrading themselves,
5 ha! Never mind, they will suffer for it
: yet" BY this time the sixteenth tea pot
had been exhausted of its contents. The
cats had left the corner and were mewing
about the table. The little dogs patience
had tired and he was paving the lap of
, Miss Bridget. The party now arose from
l the table, and felt as if mill stone had
been taken from around my neck Mr..
ohanks and Miss Spinky remained in the
supper room while the rest went into the
parlor. | thought when at supper Miss
Spnky smiled upon Mr.. Shanks very gra-
Aclously. ] now fe! assured that love was
al me bottom of it, and true soon heard
) that this Miss Spinky was very anxious for
husband that she was practising the
theory of Levi Snoflenslidengutzs, and was
then making a demonstration upon Mr..
Shanks' tender affections; that she had
) made the same assault upon the hearts of
several other gentlemen but had not as yet
: been successful. And how could she sue
; coed when her appearance was enough to
brighten all sentiment from the soul of the
: most romantic. She was short and chunky,
; pigeon-toed and round shouldered, with a
} face like small pumpkin, having eyes,
nose and mouth cut into it with penknite
did not envy Mr.. Shanks his fair one
; Whether he recIprocated her love know
not, but certain it is while was trying to
entertain the ladies in the next room we
heard loud smack like a cork flying from
5 bottle. 1t started Miss Bridget from her
, chair, who went to see after the young doves,
and though Miss Spinky protested it was
r nothing but the stopper which had popped
5 out of the yeast Jug which sat in the cor
5 ner, yet concluded, as did the others from
' their looks that the lips of the two lovers
had come in too close juxta POSITION
r They both after this interruption Joined our
= party looking somewhat confused. Miss
l Dubbs got into such a fit of laughing that
? several times | thought some of her stays
would give way. Miss Sniflle looked as if
5 the "green-eyed monster'' was preying upon
f her vitals. And Miss Bridget was trying to
2 compose matters by asking me about the
e members of Stag Hall. Says she, 'What
sort of a club is it? hear you are all very
r bad-fond of frolicking, and don't care for
t the ladies.' "Not SO, Manu. replied |;
: "your informer has basely slandered u.s.
I Our club is devoted to mysterious, literary
: and scientific pursuits, and no set of gentle
e men can be found who possess more gal
t lantry or who are more devoted to the fair
< Miss Bridget seemed to doubt, and here the
conversation ended. 1t was now growing
S late and time for me to take my departures
4 SO after pariaking of some of the sweet
g things which were handed around, | made
e my bow and was off for home as fast as my
d horse could carry me. What change when
S felt the fresh air How | enjoyed the
S stiffness of the night after coming out OF
/, such Pandimonum The moon shown
S brightly down. The stars twinkled in their
s azure vault like isles of light. No sound
/, could be heard save the gathering Of my
v horses hoofs. fell into state OF musing
d reflected upon the character and condition
: of old maids ;-asked myself the question
$ for what were they destined ?-and echo
d answered, what! A political idea struck
d me, that it would be policy in every State
: to legislate strictly in reference to this por-
e ton of creation; that it would be we'll to
= erect large building for their accommoda.