Ypsilanti sentinel. [volume] (Ypsilanti, Washtenaw Co., Mich.) 1843-1900, 1847-07-21
A Chapter ON TOasts.


A Chapter on TOasts.
Independence day is not alone remarkable for
remarkable for bonfires and Examinations, ring
ing bells, and firing cannon, shouts and huzzas,
dinners, and orations-but it is also the great
season of toasts, those "short speeches" of the
people which frequently fill columns of the
largest newspapers for weeks afterwards.
But, alas and alack, how few there are, even
among the men of learning and talent, who are
capable of connecting good toast! A man may
be scholar and a gentleman, graduate of a
college or a profession, able to write book as
large as Basler Bible, and yet. when Fo, nth
of July comes, he may lack the brains to write
"a decent sentiment. He may be entirely COM
petent 10 write novel; a poem, tale. play.
an essay, an Grafton, or Government despatch:
yea, he may even be equal to task of inditing a
'leader'' for the editorial columns of anewspa-
per, and, after all, prove the merest bungler at
the apparently easy task of writing toast.
There is, depend on it, in this species of COM
position a wonderful amount of tact necessary.
Every body can describe, without difficuItyw hat
a toast ought to be, and yet not one man in fifty
knows how to execute one. Brevity and point
are the two great ends to be attained. A good
toast is always embodied in a single sentence.
Two are sure to spoil it. 1t should be sponta-
neous, too, not labored. Midnight oil is as ia
tai to it as mildew to delicate plant. 1t must
strike some vital chord in the inner man, that
will cause the whole animal and mental econo-
my to vibrate as touched by electricity.
Such toasts have been produced, and can be
again. | remember one. Some years since
that prince of wits, Erastus Root, was present
at celebration in New York. Wine and wit
maintained rivalry. By the side of General
Root sat noted militia captain, who in due
season discovered himself toasted, and 'called
OUT for response. The honor was unexpec-
ted, but the recipient was too much soldier to
finch. True to his ''ruling passion" he pro-
posed: s'Ihe militia of the United States
mag they neUer dnd--and--and.-"
Poor fellow! His heart was true, but his
tongue treacherous. He could not have found
words to complete what he had begun, had an
empire depended on it. Calling spirits from the
Vastly deep was trfe in comparison with the
poor captains appeal to language to help him
out.
At this critical moment Gen. Root arose at
his side, touched him gently on the shoulder,
and whispered in his ear, ".4nd mag they neUer
Be arantedr' The Captain had found relief.
With the suddenness of thought, he thought he
would joined the parts, aud, assuming an air of
conscious triumph, which was certainly felt, he
repeated his sentiment, IA follows:
| ''The Militia of the United States-may they
never want, and may they never be wantedp'
| Capital sentiment! Let a man try in his
closet month, and he cannot produce better.
1t is text on which one might almost hang a.
volume. Not one word too much, not one too
little.
A near kin to this toast was the one recently
elected in Richmond. for whose paternity, as
for Homers, even cities are contending-
sThe States Of this Union-d,stinct like the
pillows, one like the sea-
This is likewise capital. Toasts such as
these it is a pleasure to read and treasure up
in the mind; but one does not often meet with
them. They are mere grain of wheat, bnried
in mountain of chaff. The mass of Fourth of
July sentiments are sickly, silly stuff; and how
men can find it in their hearts to cheer over
them is wonderful l would almost as soon
think of spending "nne cheers over the grave
of grandmother. Enterprsing publishers, con-
cerned for the literature of the world, frequent
ly advise attractive prizes for the best written
and ESSAYS, and even conundrulns are rewarded.
| IF premium was occasionally offered to the
author of series of the best Fourth of July
toasts, it would not be a bad investment 20.
P. Q;-Bostoa Post.
\ n nave Tedu VI ISL StO-
RES, dog stories and various others stories, but
the following horse story from the Buffalo
Courier requires place. The incident occur
red in town adjoining that city;
"A butchery neighbor, recently went to a
asture, where the family horse was usually
turned, when idle, to get calf which he had
purchased for slaughter. Finding difficulty in
otherwise catching him, he set large bulldog
upon the calf, which soon brought him to the
ground, utterlng most plteous cries. The
horse which till now had seemingly paid no
attention, aroused by the cries of distress, no
sooner perceived the perilous situation of his
helpless companion than with ears leered, jaws
dstended name and tai! erect he FASTENED to
his relief
The dog still continued his attack despite the
Threatening aspect of the horse, when the no.
BILE fellow, fastening his teeth upon the dog,
with one toss threw him completely over the
adjacent fencei Meanwhile, the butcher had
| approached so near as to catch hold of the calf
as he was rising, which the horse perceiving,
he turned upon him his posterior artillery, thro-
wing his heels every time still nearer the
butchers head, until be was glad to relinquish
his hold. With what proud and exultng air
he pranced around his liberated charge, with
head and tail erect, snorting defiance to all
Cypress ors. In fact, before the butcher could
secure his subject, he had first to secure this
champion Of freedo m in the stable.