The Davenport gazette. [volume] (Davenport, Scott Co., Iowa) 1841-185?, 1847-09-23
HOW MR.. PlPKlN Bl.OWED HIMSELF.
Bill PjDkin hadn't been u,,r.;.d $500

/
| Bill Pipkin hadn't been married very
long, aud hadn'i quite got ou, Of the habit
of taken little punch drunken iroIics with
he old friends on pcrticular occasions. lie
was fust rate nj mixing excu scs for STAY.
ing out At nights now mud then; he was ter
ribly Dressed with bizness, aud ~ he tuck
'nonstrous good care never 10 cum home
cross legged, his wife never spcctcd no,hin.
and all went ON tust rate. One niph, Bill
got ray Their m"rc'n he could carry straight.
but be didut find il out ,ill he was on his
way hsmc. lie wouldn't have Susan know
he wis in such n sitiwniion not lus all tho
world, and be begun thinkin, NJ we'll ~ no
could with his he'd spincn round On, whit
WAS bes. TO be done To keep her from findiu
him out.
"llic-l'vc ga il xacily," SCI he. "IIic.
| Susan, Susan knows I'm terrible C.f.tond If
mc'n.n,ilk. Well, III jcs. take big (hic)
swig of ~ m-mik, and .hai'll fix oil right
50 sh-shc'll never suspect notLin, pMr vnl."
Hume he went, prsctisin strait wslkin
all the way aud stud, ing in his mind how
he would talk strait, 30 Susan wouldm't find
him out.
When he found the latch, which was IN
the wrong side "f the dor, what opened tho
wrong way, ton, I,e felt round in the dirk
IOr ,norc d,nrs than was ever in the ho,sc
hei"rc, and got into ever 81 many .haped
rooms, till he ionnd tho pun,ry WHARF l,e
spectcd 10 find somu milk. lIe didn't hoyc
no very clear idee ~ IN whar j, o,,ph, Il, l,,..
"a, after feclin aLOut in every place. hut
tho right one, he cum ~ tho conclusion ,o
90 up 10 his ra,m md ax his vile whar il
vas. The stairs seemed 10 bc turned u,,.
side down, aud the bedroom WINS chnnced
plnces with the cellar kitchen, bu, he made
nut nj last Ia find the door.
| After clearin his throat, and On, in over
his speech 80 he wm,ldn'i make ~ mistake.
c opened the d"or, and tuck lean .r;n
tho door-p post, aud listened to hear If III.
wife was awake. She was sound nslccn
"Ail the better for that" though, he 10
himself.
"S"sa"!--Susan!' ses be, very low and
plain.
"Eh.' scs Susan, Just wnkcn on, of .
dme. us that y"u come honc, my dear,
SO late. ~
',Su.nn, ST. . ;" says B.., not m, in mn
attcGtion To what she snid--his head l,cim
full IL milk-"Susnn."
"wha,, my dear1"
''ls there any milk in the houscf.,
"Yes, dear--bui what ia the worid,--
''Suaan--Susan.'
| "Whst dcar!'
| "WhnT il the milk r.
ain tho pantry in tho dinin room, dear.
But YOU better cum to bed nov, is so~-
Bill didni say word, but tuck some Ter.
rib'e long steps in the dark. lie found tho
d'nin ro'm agin, and tho pantry, but he
couldn't find no milk no whas. Amer irwin
tor sb"ut five minutes, he CUES up ssaire
ngin, and leanin sginsl the door 10 steady
himself like, AID his wife aRin-
s'Snsan, Susan - ses he. very pert;clIc,
"Eh-wh"'9' scs she, wakin up ag,o.
"ls there any milk in tho houscf''
~ told you there was some milk 10 the
pantry, dear
Down went Bill sgin. This tims ne fal,
every whar, and upset lots Of things. mn.
kin terrible racket among the crockcry.
but dras the drop of milk could he find.
'Cuss tho milk" ses he, .whar could
they pu. iti'
Ia mint moro he was Il the bedroom
door agin.
.'S,,san, Snsan!" ses be.
Sus"n snuiilcd the snoss short OF in The
middle.
"Whas" eos she, sort o cross this ,imo.
s'Is thns any milk In tho houyes'
AYES, l told you!'
"Wsll, whas 10 itfn ses he.
81 tald you 90 the shelf--in the pantrv
lii tho dinin room!'' ses Susan, breakio 4
"a into short n,outhiuls Of pretty loud itsljc.
That Sort . skeescd Bill, and put him al
bic guard.
.Wsli, Susan" ses he, "is il tied 10 in
anythin, or u il lsyin about Ioosei''
That was enuf--thc cnt vas out or The
bag, and no help ior il. Mrs. Pipkiu wae
bright swske in mint. end the way Bill
got Caudle lecture that eight was enuG
to sober the drunkesi husband 10 creation.
He never goa corsd sgiu--and il was morn'n
year after ainre he could drink milk /. his
coffee, when Susan was 1t the table.
Talk abuut the imsnosaliey oflhe Wat.
Why " know of : lady LIVING 10 N. Hsmp-
shire, whose 6sss husband ~ been dead
several years, and shs i nov living With
NINE Husbands 81 % To mast intimate
terms 9th her. ard With each oehes.--
Add Do you suppose this woman u q
aaecase 10 The State WHOSE people pride
themselves upon their visius and turn V
theis--oegsa of sslf esteem q the little
Inoccodi1loon az thu Weet snd 9en,ehe NJ -
I'll. This lady bhighly ssspsetsd, moves
in The first circles and ssceivss from her
neighbags, mi ceaouro but sppsohalion :