The Lancaster gazette. (Lancaster, Ohio) 1846-1852, 1847-07-23
Miscellaneous.
NIost INSTRUMENTATION Joke.


Most ThOught.W Worthy Joke.
The barqne Spartan, Capt. J. Miller,
recently arrived at New London. from a
Whaling and Sealing expedition to The
North Pacific, after an absence of about
three years, and was boarded off Mon
touek by a pilot-boat. 1t seems that the
Capt. is a stiff Democrat, and having sail.
ed from home in September, 1874, and
not having heard a word since, he was ca
ger to learn the news, particularly the
result of the then pending Presidential
election. The commander of the pilot.
boat, being some what of a wag, replied:
We'll, Clay was elected by a bare ma
%jority.'
The mischief he wasI' cried the sea.
captain, Pm sorry for that. Oftwenty-
three men and boys on board, we have
but two Wings, and ifId known their
pesky politics, they might have staid to
hum. But, do tell-how dothings goonF
%. first rate; the Tariff of 1912 is re.
pealed and another made which Just suits
England
There, boys! didn't l tell you tina, the
Wings was the British party} Don't you
remembertheir flags and bannersl CLAY,
and the Tariff of 1912 o, the cussed
lying, British WhigsP
But they have annexed Texas to the
Union, and tits now a State in full com
munion.'
You don't say so! But slavery is ex-
Guided, of course
Not so-the blessed institution exists
in all its enlightening and benifcent iniu-
ences.'
Didn't ] always say that the Whigsis
opposed to Liberty? Tolerate Slavery |!
Tho-thcy do! l knowed he
Wings couldn't git into power without
bringing some calamity on the country /!
What nextl'
The worst you have still TO hear.
which,
What on airth is lido tellr
why, President Clay without con-
sulting Congress, then in session. ORDER
ed the army to advance to the Rio Grande.
the utmost limit claimed lin dispute) as a
parto of Texas-collisions ensued between
our forces and the Mexican army-blood
was shed-battles followed-and we are
now in the midst of a hot and bloody war
with Mexico
Horror! you don't say so? Well, one
way it serves the people rioht-wby do
they support the Federal British Wing
party when we Democrats have told them
over and over again, and holler'd it
out until our Threats got sore, that the
British Wings would ruin the country il
they got into power. Nowi its all coming
true. o, horriblel'
Yes; and Congress has just adjourned,
after warrantiug a National Debt of thir.
ty millions, and placing at Clay's dispo-
sal, near seventy thousand men. The
appropriations of this session are nearly
sixty millions of dollars!'
Furious! You stick daggers in me-
o, liberty! o, justice All this comes
of Wing domination. What a mountain
of woes has the success of THAT party roll.
ed upon my country! With snch a com.
mander as Clay, no wonder the good old
ship U. States has been run upon shoal.
and reefs, and her timbers and rigging al
shattered and torn. If the Democracy
had succeeded, all would have been il
peace and prosperity. The Tariff o
1912 would never have been touched by
our party, but, Tory-like, the Wings re
pealed it TO give advantages to Englisl
over American mechanics; there would
have been no annexation of Texas-nc
war with Mexico-no National Debt
Ye see, boys, all this trouble has beer
. brought upon our country by the Wing
and in such a short time too! VIII,
:. did we sail before the electionl Loos'
all sail, boys'-crowd every stitch o fcan
vass !-Hurrah boys, to the ballot-boxei
-,jine the people with true hearts ant
strong hands-turn out these Wings! up
set them right the old ship take her in
to port and overhaul her! There mus
be a united rally to save the country from
this stupendous course of fraud and stu
. pidity, leading to ruin!'
After this particular denunciation o
whathe supposed to be wig Meas
wes," the Captain ceased, exhausted ant
out ofbreath. What happened when h
, arrived at New London, got his eye
open, and learned that it was his Blu
that gored ourO Ok, the New London Spec
, ta or has not informed us. We suppose
+ however, he goes it strong for "Democra
=, cy" and Mr.. Polk.
Etiquette.
The Yankee out west, who very re