The State guard., 1847-10-05
"ShoW Your Tick cts.o
 4 Roiir oad Sketch.
BY SOLITAIRE.

changed during single trip, and as eacf new one takes charge, he announces himself in office by exclamation, Show your tickeis!'
 On night trip, recently testy ole Yankee was one of the passengers, anc having exhibited his ticket to the frs conductor, he carefully placed it in a well worn pocket book, buttoned it UT in the breast pocket of his coat, pulled his hat tightly on his head. and folding hIs arms, resigned himseli to the care oi Morpheus. His nasal organ had scarce ly proclaimed him in dream land, before another conductor came along with Show your icketsp The old Yankee awoke with snort, and having been hesFxc+simed,
 'Ireckon you don't want tew be seein' it. all the time, dew you2'
 Once will do me, sir says the con- ductor.
 Well. yoH have seen it that often.' replied the old gentleman, 'so you kin pass on.'
 The conductor insisted upon looking at ii, and the disturbed passenger Un- bu,toned his coat, unstrapped the old pocket book, handed out ,he ticket, and the conductor passed by.
 Them felars are mlty afeared of git lin' chisseled,' says he, as, placing his ticket in his vest pocket, he again re- signed himself 10 sleep.
 The conductor thinking he had miss ed some of the passengers, came back again, presently, and asked to see his ticket.
 What agnn exclaims the old man, wal SNOW, you are the most pesked bother Pve ever seed. Just take good look now, and hey done.'
 The conductor passed on again, and the old man stuck his ticket in his hat band. and this lime got fairly asleep. Tine motion of tine cars in a short time loosened his hat and it fell off, which seepless wag in tbe cars perceiving, he picked mp the conductors lamp, and ap preaching the old gent shouted ia his fai:
 tcHOW yOU' ttCRctS'
 Patience massy,' says the old man, 'ef here aint anuther of these ticket fel- lers,' and then he pulled out his pocket book, searched ii, put it back, .elt in his vest pocket, but in vain. You've got it. says he, i gin Il 10 you, know.'- Here he Iecollected sticking it in his hat band, and now commenced search for his head piece. The hat, amid the snuff ng of the passengers feet had been kicked along under several differ. ent seats. After busy search of some minutes, he thought he perceived it be- meath fat old lady's seat. In reaching for it he awoke her.
 What do you want P she enquired, snappshly, as even the most amable old lady would do, when awakened out of sound sleep.
 'rm only reschin. for my hat, marm,' says he; it's got under your seat.'
 I tell you 'teint,' says she. 'That's a nice excuse 10 he coming feel.n around body wilh when they are asleep. I'll tell ihe agent see if 1 dnn,.'
 Why, good gracious, marm,' says he, might sleep an age in the same bll- din' with me, and I'd never dream of le, hin' you.'
 You night'nt dream of doing so,' said she, but you a;n'l hit too good to, I'Il be bound-coming waking people up in the middle of the night, when they are llone. (there were fifty Tn the car) ll-;,v oh Iof ,hu la,t your hat if it's there, and go away; but tell you 'taint there, now and that's enough, think for any reasonable per son-aIways disturbing people this way-why don't you lake ,t, sayT Thus commanded, the distressed old gent reached under the seat at the dark looking object, which he fancied was his hat and the old lady's small pc, dog which he caught hold of by the neck seized him in turn by the fingers, with a aou-w>u soo1gh!
 'Ow-ah! cuss the consarned thingp ex- claimed he; why, it's live varminI!'
 'Noao,' says the old lady 1 reckon you are satisfied that it aint the kind of hat you are looking for; and you can go somewhere else and search for your old hat.'
 A jolt of inc cars here nearly threw him into her lap, on which she gave 8 slight scream, and called for protection.
 Perhaps this is your hat, sir said the wag who was personating the con ductor, at the same time handing him his cbapeau, with the ticket safe in the hat-band. With an exclamation ol pleasure he seized ii.
 Here take the consarned ticket, will you7' he exclaimed, handing it out pro. miscuousIy; but everybody refused.
 sWont nobody hey it P he inquired 1 VOW tew gracious won't carry it an. nther mini.'
 'Shoao your tickets!' exclaimed the con ductor, entering, to which he added we gre at Auburn gentlemen Here, take it, says the old Yankee in a high state of excitement; 'l'd jes' ru,ber be locked up In your dod .ro;.e4 old j,il here, than travveI by night or ,hese waggins. A mans etarnally showin' his ticket, runnin' agin cross dogs, or, whA,'s an all-fred sight wuss | cross old womenp