Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1847-02-11
Gintorolls Selections.
From tho Yankee Blade.
MIR. AND MRS. BATTLE;
nr vrnr.so We. Rnt

loving couple in the town of N,
who for about a twelve-month, had dwelt
as " one nesh," in law matrimonial, and
whose union thus far, if shade less
blssful than that of turtle doves, had af-
forded an example of conjugal felicity
as edifying, to say the least, as The gen.
crafty Of matches. 1t happened one
winter evening, that, having exhausted
all their usual themes of chit chat, they
had been sitting in silence for some ten
minutes together, luxuriating in the Gun
communicating muteness of fishes"
when, suddenly, with a piercing shrek,
Mrs. B. sprang from her chair and jump
ed upon the side of the table, crying
out at the top of her lungs, Lord Of
mercy! oh, that horrid being ! XIII
him, Mr.. Baule XII him p
The husband, quick as thought, seiz-
ed the poker, and, though half frighten-
ed out of his senses, raised it firmly o.
yer his head, and placed himself bolt
upright in an attitude of self defence.
For some moments he stood speechless,
with mingled wonder and awe; then,
casting a glance at his wife, who stood
leaning against the wall pale, shivering,
and half frantic with terror, he at length
recovered his wits and the use Of his
tongue, so far as to ask, in a voice faint
and husky, who-where- why, what
is he ~
There there Husband, don't you
sce-there 1t isn't no man-it is a
horrible great mouse Oh dear, | shall
faint away, certain There he comes
again, this way--Merciiul heavens Oh
Oh !"
Mr.. B. breathed little more freely,
after this last piece of information, for,
to say the truth, he was by no means a
Hercules in strength or stature, (being
only four feet eleven in his boots, and
weighing but Just one hundred and
five pounds, even after dinner,) and
as lie supposed it was some house rob-
Der or cut throat who had hidden him
self IN the room, that had caused his
wife's fright, his knees had begun to
knock together little la Bclshazzar,
notwithstanding his great show of brave.
ny. But now, regaining with marvellous
quickness, the use Of all his limbs and
faculties, he advanced boldly in the di-
rcction indicated by Mrs. BIS finger, and
with courage and presence of mind
worthy of an Alexander, succeeded, bv
the aid Of the poker, in stretching a
most ierocious looking young rat lifeless
on the floor.
Alter lew moments peace and order
were restored, and Mrs. B. having sue
ceeded, by an astonishing degree of self
control, in quoting her nerves, was a.
gain seated at her needle, when loud
tinkling of the door-bell was followed
by the announcement of Mr.. Pry. Pry
had popped in, as he said, TO see how
they all did, and have little social chat y
but as it turned out, Unfortunately for
the peace of our excellent couplc,) he
was just in season to hear from Mrs. Bat
ties lips, relation of what she called
her frightful adventure with the mouse
" No, my DEAR" interrupted Mr.. B..
ga ral."
Excuse me, love: but it was {
mouse"
"But l assure you, Madam. it was {
rat"
i" beg your pardon, sir, notwithstan
ing you assure me, ! am quite sure i
was a mouse"
"Don't tell me, Mrs. Battle do yo,
think Pm fool, not to know rat from
a mouse, and in my own house too?
"Keep cool, Mr.. Battle, don't ge
huffy just because | spoke a word.
can never open my lips, somehow or 9th
er lately, but you must fly into a pet
And then you must be twit-twit-twit
ting me always about your house, as i
you were lord of every thing here, ant
were your humble servant. | declare
Battle,you are as unreasonable as you cal
live"
d" Mrs. Battle, you are enough TO pro
woke saint, Three times you hav
contradicted me, and -"
"All because said a mouse WASH
rat. A mouse amt rat, and yol
know it, Battle"
"Mrs. Battle, there's no standing thi
MOI nor won't stand it any longer
will have divorce, if there's one T.
be had in the country. | won't liv
with such termagant. No, | won't
Mrs. Battle, and that's the long and tn
short of it."
Here Mrs. Battle fell back in her chat,
and burst into flood of tears. Mr.. Pr
finding matters getting little too hoI
crept silly out of the room, and run ia
home as if from hornets nest. Nj,
Battle paced the room hurriedIy to an
fro. for the space of five minutes or more
with blanched cheek, and lip quivern
with rage, and finally seated himself b
window, and, with an air of affecte
unconcern,began to whistle Yankee Doc
, die. He had been seated but three {
four minutes, when his wife, suddenI
t rising up, came across the room, tire,
r her arms aflectionately about his necl
and buried her head in his bosom.
"My dear husband"
My dear wife,"
GO have oHendaJ Joo,J., oa,o.l.