The national whig. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1847-1847, 1847-05-20
From the Tallahassee Sentinel.
THE
Chronicles Of Jonathan.
CHAPTER TX.

Chronicles OF Jonathan.
CHAPTER TX
Now, there was among all the counsellors of the
land Of Jonathan, one Thomas, surnamed sahe hum
bug" And the same was mighty man by reason
of fatness-for he measured round about five cubts,
and his countenance was like unto brass, and his
voice as the roaring Of the bulls Of Bashan. And
the same went unto the King, saying -"Long live
the King and may his enemies he scattered-may
Zacharah be as 'scarecrow in garden ofcucumbers
and may the soup of Winfield, the chief captain be
poison unto him. Hath my Lord the King, considered
the faebleeness Of these men, and that they will not
prevail against the enemy by reason thereof2 Then
the King answered and spake saying, "Whence
contest thou!" And he said "From walking up and
down among the counsellors Of the land-from
Wick, the son of Wicked, from Jacob. the son Of
Thompson, and Brincker the son of Hof and Brock,
the son Of Broken, and Sawyer, surnamed the Sau-
sage. Hath my Lord considered the counsel Of these
his servants! Behold /, even !, will command the
armies Of the land of Jonathan, and will smite the
Mexicans and give their to the beasts o.
the field, and the fowls of the air. Yea, will pull
down their strong towers, leaving not much one
stone upon another also, will destroy their cities
and put the people thereof to the sword Behold.
have read Humboldt and what know, will do,
and what will do, have not written it down ?"-
And when TLomas, surnamed the Humbug, had
spoken these thngs,he showed unto the King the
plan thereof, as he had written it down-and he
stamped upon the ground,
and bis face shone with exceeding ferceness.
And when the King had read the writing, and
saw the countenance Of Thomas, the humbug, that
it was exceeding fierce, and heard his voice, like
unto the roaring of the bulls of Bashan and that
he was a mighty man, by reason Of fatness- behold
the King was moved unto admiration, and he lifted
up his voice and spake saying, "Yea shalt thou
command the armies of the land, in the place Of Ia
chariah, and in the place Of Winfield, the Chief Cap
tain-for what are the countenances of Zachariah
and of Winfield, as compared with thy counte-
nance? And it shall come to pass when the Mexi-
cans shall hear thy voice and see thy shape, they
shall begin to say unto one another, as the coons
spake unto the mighty hunter of the West, saying,
Z 1t is Of no use we give up, spare us yet one mo-
ment and we will come down unto thee
And the King spake unto the counseors Of the
land Of Jonathan, saying, shake ye Thomas, the
humbug, chief captain over the armies, in the place
Of Winfield and in the place of Zachariah." But
certain of the counso!lors refused to obey the
maIdment Of the King-howbeit Wick, the son of
Wicked and Brircker, the son Of Hoff, and Jacob
the son Of Thompson, and Sawyer, the Sausage, and
many others of the council assented thereunto. And
when this was told unto the King and unto Marcy,
the scribe, and unto Thomas, the humbug, they
were exceeding wroth and rent their garments. And
the King comforted Thomas, the humbug, "Behold,
will make thee second captain" But Thomas
the humbug, answered. saying, Il will be second to
no man. Behold, Winfield hath his plan, and thy
servant hath his plan, and it shall come to pass when
60 to the camp Of Winfield, straghtway there will
be confusion. Thy servant hath read Humboldt and
UNDERSTANDABLE what he doeth." And Thomas, the
humbug, went from the presence of the King in an
ger; nevertheless, what was the plan of Thomas,
surnamcd the humbug, no man knoweth unto this
day.