Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1846-11-17
Applying The Principle.
BIZ THE Young 'uN.


Tar through pair of notified pants, and
attached to couple of the largest sized
feet, which were encased in twin cowhide
brogans, formed the underpining to long
slab-sided body, of otherwise generous
proportions--the whole being surmoun-
ted by a head which was covered with a
grey ''ive year old' Cat least) seal skin
cap. This sum total--iegs, pants, feet,
shoes, body, and chapeau--was the prop
erty, by possession, of Mr.. Zenas Hum.
spun.
Zenas had been on ga bat' during the
night previous, and had squamdered full
half dollar on himself in white.eye and
swectening. But his returning senses
made him feel philosophical--and, on the
morning we speak of him, he stood, at an
early hour, in-street, gazing mechan-
ically at the telegraphic wires-solilo-
quizng, thus wise:-
''-'ic!--that's the teIergu6-W---
'ic-well, | don't poorceive nuthin' per
-'ic-culier bout them strings-on'y
ones bigger ent'cther-'ic."
"That's the Hgl1'nin' line, tho big 'un''
said an urchin in the doorway near by.
''W'en does she-'ic START"
'You'd better ak in thar"
"Wharl"
'ln the office. up thar"
T The loafer was shown tke door of the
builcing, and by shook or crook" found
his way up three pair of stairs, into the
telegraphic office. The attendants en-.
CURED "what the gentleman had to for
ward?"
"For' ud!-'ic-who's she?'
'What will you send!''
"Send achar?
"This is the Telegraph office, SIR"
"Well-'ic-who'n thunder said it
wus'nt!'
Il supposed you had business, sir
"Nuthin' O the -'ic-qnito tie
re--'ic-verse O. the confrairy.!'
"What will you have?"
81 want to make some-'ic-quirics.
The hour being early, and little doing,
The clerks very charitably determined up
on some fun with the fellow, with a view
to SOLDERING him. The opportunity for
anything gratuitous escaped them, how
ever-lor as they commenced cons.i:tu-
don upon the best means to benefit the in
tr'Ider, he stepped up to one of the bate
ries, which happened, fortunately, to 10
but lightly charged-and concluding that
the knobs were portable, he pulled his
cap over his forehead and attempted to
remove ono of the balls: the next mo-
ment Zcnas lay stretched upon the foorl
He rose, as best he could, and turn ed to
the clerk, with,
''Look yere, mister-'ic- wot's yure
name? kin lick as many SIGH like skunks
as you, as could be driven into a four al
ker lot! Wot in-iid yer-'ic, mock
an innersent man down that way for;
Eh!"
':Nobody touched you!'' said the clerk.
"The-ihey didn't"
mo. SIR. You took thed'-
Took ,cot! Yere's yure contemplate
cope" and, proceeded TO dash
loose penny towards the attendant, which
lay upon the machine; his fingers came
in contact with the battery, and away he
went again, heels over head, across the
floor!
"Look ycre; continued the sufferer, who
by this time, was well nigh sobered; .'od
blast yure Internal pictur, wot in thunder
are you 'baout?"
"You mustn't handle the .ools," obser-
we'd the clerk. nearly bursting with laugh
ter.
Look you'll Mr.. Wot's your-name-I
amt to be fooled this yere way, fer nuth-
in'-I arn't. By thunder! Pm inder
pendunt individual, am; and this yere
nokin' people down, without notice of no
kind, arn't the thing, by! Eff you'll |
open that yere door, I'll go out o'this, and
no questions axed'-
THAT'S the door, SIR"
"That brass handler
Eyes"
.lm bowed eff you do thought This
child don't NEEDLE with no moro hard |
care in this trap, no howl"
The door was opened by the clerk, and |
The fellow sided out. A suppressed laugh |
pervaded the countenance of the atten. |
dant. as Zenas departed-which, as the
door closed vented itself in a broad haw.
haw.
You're smart young gentleman you
are! bawled the loafer through the key
hole, as he held the door fast with both I
hands, '.you're rery smart young man
You'd like TO get out o. that, and go to
breakfast, bimcby, may be! An eyer
10 get any grub afore noon, jes let ateller
bout my size Know it, will yer! Iii
teach yer to knock people down, simulta-
ncously-fer nothin';I will"-and, from the
making on the outside, the
prospect was that the ''insiders" were to
be made prisoners.
A thought struck the attendant. He
disconnected the wire, and placing it in
contact with the knob ofthe door upon
the inside, his companion let on the bat