American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper., 1846-07-31
From the New Orleans Detail
A TAILOR IN TROUBLE:
OR, A CocKNEY BETWEEN TWO FIRES.
"If l had beau for a soldier would 20,
Do YOU think that I'D say no, no, noiD


off had beau for a soldier would 90,
Do you think that I'D say no, no, no."
Peter Perkins, a little speptic-looking man,
with short hair, long beard, Goldfish eyes, con-
(tracted shoulders, ace-of-damond looking legs,
and feet as fiat as pancake, was yesterday
brought up before the Recorder, on the charge
of having entered his name as a volunteer for
|service on the Rio Grande, or any where there
was fighting to be done, and of having never
made his appearance to be enrolled afterwards.
Poor Peter was in a state Of nervous excitabili-
ty: from his peculiar patois, we could see that
cockneydom might legitimately claim him as
its own; for in his pronunciation he took lib
erty with the letter h, that none but cockney
would take-passing it over in utter silence
when it rightly should be named, and thrusting
it forward in places where it was altogether
out Of place.
Besides rough-looking lrishman, who act
ed guard over Perkins, and on whose charge he
was arrested for desertion, he was accompanied
by plump, pretty looking woman, with full
bust and a fine blue eye; and she was accompa-
MED by a tall, slender individual, in fashiona-
BILE but seedy suit, profusion of fair hair fall
ing down over his shoulders, and an inkling of
a moustache struggling into existence on his
upper lip. Peter seemed to regard the Irish
man with horror, and owner of the apology for
a moustache with hate. The pretty little wo-
man, on the contrary, seemed not only to ad-
mire the stunted moustache, but the owner of
it, whilst for Peter, prisoner as he was, she
seemed not to be overburdened with sympathy,
although, to use his own words, he was "her
lawfully welded 'usband."
They had not been very long in Court, when
the Recorder announced that he was ready to
proceed with the case of Perkins Murley af
fiant. $50 am IT, said the Irishman. fI'm
-" "Silence," said the poice-o officer, in
terrupting him, and giving him contemptu-
Gus look in exchange for the too familiar man
ner in which he addressed the court. so,
Misther consequence" said the Irishman, its
yerself that's kickin' up all the shndy. Sure
if how'd me tongue, can't spayk, barin like
the deafand dumb people, wild me fingers"
Recorder-"E Enough, sir, state the grounds oil
your charge against Mr.. Perkins, whom you
accuse of deserving from the army"
lrishman. 81 beg your Honor's pardon
you're ahead of me hy-peth-e-ses, as Brien Mo.
ran, the schoolmaster, God rest his sow used
to say. It's as plain as the nose on your Hon.
ors face, and he must be blind man who CAM
see that, that one can never desart from body
till he joins it first. Now, niver accused this
little gintleman, whose legs look as they Wett
made for flying paper kite through them, with
ioinin'; but say that he enthered his name t.
{ Join, and it seems that, like Ned Neal when h,
took the pledge, he forgot to carry out his in
tintions; and, besides"
Recorder. "Oh, stop, sir! if yos are permit
ted to 60 on, this investigation will be as tedi
GUS as suit in chancery. What have you
(, sir" he said, addressing Peter Perkins, VIII
seemed as much alarmed as if sentence of dealt
without the benefit of clergy was about to b
pronounced upon him, "what have you to sa
to this charged"
~ "Why, your 'onor," said Peter, who by
wonderful effort counterfeited a respectful