Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1846-05-12
SOUTHPORT WISCONSIN, TUESDAY MAY - 1916,

room enough to drive nail. My names
Steadiman SIR"
81 must confess am soU1awha, disap
pointed" answered, .'for was particu-
larry anxious TO hear Mr.. -. Is this
gent eman considered pre-eminant, that he
is always so well attended9'
'.No, no SIR" replied he drasing nearer
and adding in a confidential whisper, she's
no, half SO good. But fashion, sir. fash
ions every thing; fashion has TO do with
preaching as with every thing else. The
young ladies think Mr.. Jones an angel ,and
the old ones a saint. But the fact is, sir,
Mr.. - has sometimes of late handled
some of our congregation pretty roughly,
and they have been gradually dropping a.
way, dropping away, until he'll find that
trying to correct peoples bad habits and
telling them their faults TO their faces is a
mighty anpro6table SORT of business. AZ
lie = working all the week in their shops and
warehouses, they don't come to church to
be seeded on the only day ofrest they have
like parcel Of naughty school boys; to
have their sins held up to them before their
ewes like hard sums on a black board
Now Mr.. Jones always let's 'em off scot
free; SO that they can come here, listen 10
pleasant discourse, land after hearing their
neighbors abused, (for that dom, touch
them-you know can go away to their
beef and pudding with good appetite and
an easy conscience. My names John
Steadimap, sir!'
Now, thought |, this man is worth stu.
dying; to discover which fact you have on
ly to look at him: and as by remaining
where was, should certainly be satisfied
by the sound Of The glorious instrument
whose full tones rose at intervals on the
ear, | resolved TO humor his desire to in
dulge his loquaclty, my owl Of becom-
ing student of the various movements Of
the human mind.
A very odd looking person was Mr..
John Steadiman. Imagine man Of five
feet four, in height, of a bony and angular
| figure upon whose sharp outlines hung a
solemn looking suit of rusty black, Ohe
coat somewhat too long in The sleeves, the
pantaloon exhibiting rather more Of the
wrinkled boot below than was precisely
consistent with elegance,) a round buIlel
CRY looking hair, beneath which spread a
low and NOTED forehead, an undefnablo
kind of nose, a nose only to be compre.
hended and commented upon by the com
menied upon by the far-seeing genius of a
Lavater, mouth of unusual dimensions;
pale, sallow complexion; the dark sharp
eyes and whole countenance wearing a
most wretched expression Of hopeless mel
anchely, which had been so often assumed
in the discharge OF his sad duties as a.
length to become habitual; and you will
have produced for yourself rather fiat
lering likeness Of John Steadiman, under
taker and sexton of ST. IS church.
"And so, Mr.. Steadiman," said |, '.you
think that people do not like to be told of
their laultsP'
"Well, you see, sir" he replied, evident
ly delighted to have found willing l,stcnei
putting his hands behind him and planting
his back comfortably against the wall "well
you see, sir, it depends pretty much upon
The rag it's done. If the reverend gentle
man only talks Of the sins I'd wickedness
Of the world IN a general sort Of fashion,
then nobody takes it TO himself; (we're all
apt to rail against the world as if we didn't
belong to ii ourselves, you,see sir;) each one
shoyels off his load to somebody clse's
shoulders, thanks his stars that there was
nothing meant that could apply TO him; and
as long as there's no particuIarizing, he will
patiently wear long face for two or three
hours. listen perhaps to the Sc rmon, and
prove its edihcation by lying and cheating,
may be through the rest of the week.
"Come, come, MIR. S,eadman," said |.
seriously, ''this is going little 10 far, this is
understandable"
"Not bit of it, sir, not half so unchris.
tian-like as the man who lives upon the sa.
wings Of the widow and orphan. Why sir
he continued, in the lowest possible wills
per. as he looked cautiously about him,
s'there are men who 60 to church regular
ly every Sunday morning and evening, ay,
and every prayer day too, as if they were
in hurry for a saintship, who have stolen
the very beds from under the poor, ane
dragged the food from their mouths; wh'
while they are reducing many once>'hIlv
ing family to bcggary by, their shameful,
dishonest dealings, live on the fat of th'
land, and pass for the very best men anon.
US"
Unable to dispute an assertion of which
+ sad experience had taught me the truth, an'
pleased with the honest Indignation OF tn
| worthy official, | allowed him TO pursue
his wrathful anmadversions uninterruPt
, ed
"Dont YOU think, SIR" he continued
"tg too bad that all classes should suffer
, high and low, rich aud poor-for the rascal
" ola few? that while they are thriving W
should sjarve?"
: "Bld YOU have no cause TO complain, Nj
> Steadiman, observed" This general de
, preston ofaifairs cannot affect your bushes
3 in any way, for people must die, De thing
$ er so bad"
/ "Ah, sir" replied he, looking at me VIII
: an expression OF face, so heaH-TcndIng'
| melancholy tina, it would have brought tea
: into the ewes ofComus himself, "sure
!. nough, people will die, as you say; aithou2
}, I've often thought lately That even deaf
y tIies to TO cheat us poor fellows out OF ot
! dues;) people do die, but then, things a
e not like what they used TO be, for you Sc
: we can't get any hing out ofthe survivor
: out pines and muslin. Why there a
f many families belonging 10 this church tn
,, In in the habit OF hurrying for with blaE
cloths aud silver plates, that know car