Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1846-09-25

right.
Once, when the steward was taking nap
in his chair, our Inspector s,eal,hily ap.
preached him and began to feel his head
all over.
why. the critters got more'n pound
faint much Tor the government to lose
but the principles every thing. should
be perjured raskiI if didn't hold him to
account for every ounce of it,
'GoIly, massa! what YOU want! shout
ed the African, jumping out of his doze
and his chair at the same time.
'Nothin'-nolhin' 'st you go TO sleep
agin. I'm MISUNDERSTANDING ALL
The critters guilty conscience haunls him
like rattle-snake! he added to himself.
One day matters came to climax
The steward, after passing his hands
through his wool several times, said, with
the greatest effrontery:
We'll, Massa Spectre, I bliebe / must
leap you to yourself for half hour
Nv here are You going7'
TO de barbar's, massa,
what for 2
To hab my hair CUT
No you don't, you rascal. That 'ere
wool amt entered yet
Not entereG Wat you mean. massa:
Not paid for, you imp of Satan
Paid for! Garamity glib 'um to me-
Silence! you infatuated Day and Mar
tin! Sc, right down in thai ere chair, and
I'll do your barberln'.'
The niger sank speechless into the
captains armchair. In an instant he was
tied fast, hand and foot. and the inspector
seized a case ofrazors from the cabin-table.
Murder! murder! you goin' to cut a
ngger's troat. chg
'rII cut nigger's head off, eff he don't
keep still, was the stern reply.
In five minutes the scull of the unfortu-
nate African was as bare of wool as CO.
coa-nut denuded fits hairy bark. TWAS
even grubbed up by the roots, for the ra-
zor had been used for opening oysters and
pairing potatoes.
Now take your oandanna, if you like,
said the green 'un.
Leaving the steward shrieking with pain
and rage, the official rushed to the Gus
tom-house in triumph with his booty
| But alas! he was received with roars of de-
ri>ion. The next day he sent in his res
ignaton,-and the department lost a val
| n oolo off hnco 0D1y, EonIf hot ho
kae,v too much.
From the N Y. Spirit of the Times
A LIVE YANKEE &c SNORED" OUT.
BY THE YOUNG 'uN.
Reader-do you snore in your sleep?
You don't-W ell. / suppose not! l
never yet met the individual who would
acknowledge the corn.
Shall | tell you of little adventure |
was once witness with to 'Snorer? 2
The varieties Of the genus 'Snorer' is
very extended. There is your quiet. sigh
ing. unobtrusive snorer-who always has
"a good time at it. and troubles nobody.
There is your wheeling ,chuck|ing, squeak
ing snorer-who makes regular bust
ness of 1t, but who keeps it all in the fam
iIy,' and, peradvenlure. annoys only the
partner of his Joys and sorrows. There
is, also, your nasal grnmbIer, who sleeps
in the next room J who mumbles and
grunts-and gets over it.
But if there be under Heaven. an object
of p,ty-one that should excite The SYM
pathy of the benevoently dlsposed-more
than another, commend the TO your genu-
inc out-and out snorer!
To appreciate his qualities lulIy-vou
should be faIigued and restless yourself
after three days journey over humping
bad road, and you shall run athwart HIM,
where the steamboat line connects, at a
late hour in the night. You shall retire
to one of the few cots lelt-which you
| find stretched in the centre Of the cabin
! for the accom- mediation of the last corners
and after the dreadful joIting you have
passed through for the previous twenty
four or forty-eight hours, as the case may
be. You shall regale yourself, imaginative
ly Turing the process of undressing with
the prospective enjoyment which Natures
sweet restorer has in reserve for you!
Your weary head touches the pillow,
but an unusual nervousness troubles you ,
and despite your most earnest endeavors,
it is midnight before you can compose
yourelf You are at last worn out with
tossing and turnirg-and though the night
is warm, and the veGmin are aclive-you
determine 10 sleep.
For the last half hour you have been
listening to what you imagined distant
thunder. (you are afraid of fightning.)
and at the instan, you have concluded to
resign yourself to the embrace of Morph-
Gus. your eyes suddenly agape-wide open
and. as your brow is slightly knitted.
you Involuntary ask yourself, What's
| that 2
In reply to your interrogaory, sort of
explosion takes place-a miniature erup-
ton of Vesuvius, a blast whoo-Oot-
p!'-and the sound rolls away in long
drawn, unearthIy sigh like the last effort
of suffocating man to recover his breath
and all is silent again.
In such pligh; and at such time
some years ago, remember to have met
a Yankee in the cabin of crowded canal