Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1846-02-05

III -
mauics Miss Prettyman, as poor old Mrs. L.
ALWAYS prophecied hc would do; and straight
way-evcn before the honeymoon is over
n sr;as 10 show Ma" that she is To be Can
All. ami no, To Candle; aud, in the covrss OF
the = twelve new chapters. furnishes iSth
abundant proof that his NJ L. had st him
am example .which.he IN aus TO follow %! turn
ing the tables ON his NO =
Here arr the first two chapters:
NIX. CAUDLES BRElhFAST IdLh.
caArrE. I.
Ior' Mr.. Caudie married Miss P~rcfiyndR,
aud hor H. "Rnggcd' her 10 death.
When Harry Pnttyman Sw the very superb
funeral oi Mrs. Caudle-PTcttyma Attended
as a ,nuurner, ant was particularly Jolly IA
the coactf-hc observed that the disconsolaie
widowcr showed that above all men he knew
how 10 make the best OF a bad ~boTgain. The
remark, a. the dearly deceased would have
said, ~wasVnmsnly brutal; bat quite like hdi
Pcttyman. Tue slime scoiier. when Caudic
declared. she should never cease To weep.
replied, "He was very sorry 10 hear IL; Tor II
must raise the price of unious." IL was not
enough to- break the heart of a wife; no.;
thu Ssage must Joke over the precious pieces.
The funeral, We repeat. MAS remarkably
handsome: in Pcitymans words, nothing
could b. more satisfactory. Caadle spoke of
a monum ,nt. Whcrcupon Pet,yman sug-
gcstcd Death gatherings Netile. -Csudle-
The act did equal honor 10 hts brain ami his
bosom-rcjected IL.
Mr.. Ciudle attended by many ofhis friends.
returned tn the widowed homc in toleuble
spirits. Prettyman said. loosely poking his
two iingsrsin Caudle' : ribs, that in a week he'd
look quite a tulip" Caudic merely replied
The could hardly hope il.
Pmttymin's mirth ~ hcreupou communion
ted itself to the company, and in a very little
time the meeting took the air Ola very pleasant
party. Som how, Miss Prcttyman presided
at the tea table. There was IN her manner
a chanting mixture of grace, dignity aud con-
idencc-a beautiful black swan. Preitymau,
by the way, Whispered to a friend there was
justihis difference Mrs. Caudle and his sister
Mis-. Cdudic Was a great goose, whereas
Sinh wssa little duck" We will not swear
that Caudte did not ovcrhear the words: for
a he resigncdly stirred his tea, he looked ut
the lady al the head OF the table, smiled. aud
sighed.
IL was odd: but women are so apt; Miss
PrettyInan seemed a. familiar with Caudle's
silver tea pot, as with her own silver thimble.
With a smile on her face, like the butter on
the mullins, she handed Caudle his cup OF tea.
Caudle would, now and then, abstrsctly cast
has eye above the mantle piece. There was
Mrs. Caudle's portrait. Whercupon, Miss
Pret,yman would say. "You must take com
tort, Mr.. Caudle, indeed YOU must" At
length MIR. Caudle replied, Twill, Miss Pet
lyman"
What then passed through Candies brain
We know not; but this we know; in a twelve
month and a week from that day, Sarah Prct-
lyman was Caudle's second vile. Mrs. Caudle
number two. Poor thing.
cHAPrsR n.
Hoo Mr.. Caudk begins 10 shoe somefAing
''cf tAe Fi,nd that's iH him.r
1T ~ rather extraordinary, Mrs. Caudle,
that we have been married four weeks-I
y exactly zee what you have To sigh about
and you can't make me a proper cup OF tea.
However, ! don't know how | could expect
Al. There was never but one woman who
could make tea TO my taste, aud she in now
nm Heaven. Now, Mrs. Csudle let me hear
no crying. I'm not one OF thr people 20 be
melted by the tears oil n woman; for YOU can
all cry-su OF you-ata minutes notice. The
waters always laid on. amt down il comes, il
q man only holds up his finger.
"Iou didat thuak I eonn be 50 brnsaip
That's it.-Let a man speak, and heis brutal.
Its a woman iirst duty 10 make a decent Gus
oil tea. What do you think l married YOU for
Its all very we'll with YOU tambour work and
such trumpcy. You can make butterflies
on kettie holders; but can you make a pud-
ding, ma'aml I'll be bound not.
"Oi course. as usual, you've given me the
eomcr-roll; because you know | hate tbs
corner roll. did think you mus, have seen
that. | did hope | should not be obliged 10
speak on so paltry a subject-but it's no usC
to hope 10 h. mild with you. | see that,
hopeless.
And what a herringl And you call il
b!oaier ! suppose Hai there pas a woman
who had AL eye fora bloaier, but-saintec
oteatUre.-shes here no longer. foR risi
sac rGsg Oh, | understand that. I'm sure /
any body should wish her back its-but sh,
was too good for me. When I'm gone, Cau
dle-she used to say-thcn you'll know thi
wife | was tn you And now | 10 know il.
Here's the eggs boiled to a stone again
DO you think, Mrs. Caudle, | am a canar
bird To BE- fed upon haut eggsi Don't tell IN
about the servant. A wife is answenable 4
= her husband for her servants. It's her business
To hire proper people; il she doesn't, she
not iit TO BE- a wife. | find the money, Mn
Csudle. aud | must expect you 10 find ,h
0 cookery.
There you are with your pocket hsnkel
chiel again; the old flag OF truce; bat itdocs'u
: trek Inc. A pretty homogeneous. Hone,
: moon. nonsense! People can't have tw
homogeneous in their lives. They hapc feelinS
II find II now-that we CAM have twice /
= our existence. There's no making honey
second time.
"No; think I've pu, up with you neglec
long enough; and there's nothing like begit
ningas we intend TO 90 on. Therefore, Mr.
Caudle. II my tea isn't made a little morc
s my liking to-mouow-and If you insult u
= with a herring like that-and boil my eg
that you might fire EN- out Of guns-wh
perhaps. Mn| Csudle, you may see a man
q passion. IL takes a good deal to rouse M
bat when am up-l say when | am up
. that's ell.
\ "Whete did ! put my gIoves7 YoH doi
4 knoWF OF course not; you know nothing"
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