The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

On one occasion lie was asked to
dine with Lord R, neiphbor
of his, and his Lordship, being well
acquainted with the Laird's dislike
to small drinks, ordered a bottle of
cherry brandy to be set before him
at dinner, instead of port, which he
always drank in preference to clar-
ct when nothing better was to be
got. The Laird thought this was
fine heartsome stuff, and on he went
filling his glass like the rest, and
telling his cracks, and ever the more
he drank the more he praised his
Lordship's Port 1T was a fine full
bodied wine, and lay well on the
stomach, not like that poisonous stuff
clarct that made body feel as if he
had swallowed nest of puddocks.'
Well, gentlemen, the Laird had fin
ished one bottle Of cherry brandy,
or, as his Lordship called it, his
particular Port and lad just tossed
off a & lass of the second bottle, which
he declared to be even better than
the first, when his old confidential
servant, Watty, came staving into
the room, and making his best bow,
announced that the Laird'S horse
was at the door. Get out of that.
ye fause LOOM cried the Laird, pull
ling off his wig, and hinging it at
Watty's head. DO IA yc see, We
blethcring brute, that I'm Just be-
ginning my second bottle 2 But,
MASTER says Watty, scrathing his
head, SITS amaiSt twall O'clock =
Weel, what though it be p said the
Laird, turning up his glass with
drunken gravity, while the rest Of
the company were like to split their
sides with laughing at him and Wat
ty. ut can ma be ony later, my man,
so just reach me my wig and let the
naig bide vice. Well, gentlemen,
it was a cold frosty night, and Watty
soon tired of kicking his heels at the
door; so in a little while, back he
comes, and says he, 'Maister, mais-
ter, it's amaist anc O'Clock 'Wcel,
Watty,' says the Laird with hic-
cup-tor he was far gone by this
tlme-'it will never be onv earlier,
Watty, my man, and that's a com
fort, so you may just rest yoursel
wee while LANCER till finish my bot
tie. a full belly makes a still back,
you know Watty.' Watty was by
this time dancing mad; so, after
waiting another half hour, back he
comes i'll an awful hurry, and saws
he, Laird, Laird, as true as death
the suns rising 'Wecl, Watty,'
says the Laird, looking awful wise,
and trying with both hands 20 fill his
glass, 'lct him rise my man, he has
farther to gang the day than aithcr
you or me. Watty.'
This answer fairly dumfoundcd
Watty, and he gave tup in despair.
But at last the bottle was finished :;
the Laird was lifted into the saddle,
and Oft he rode in high glcc, think
ing all the time the moon was the
sun, and that he had fine daylight for
his journey. 'llcch, Watty, my
man says the Laird, patting his
stomach, and speaking awful thick,
'we were name the worse for that
second bottle this frosty morning.
Faith says Watty, blowing his fin
gers and looking as blue as Il bilber-
ry, your honor is may be name the
worse for it, but I'm name the bet
ter; | wish | was Well, on they
rode fou cannily, the Laird gripping
hard at the horses name, and rolling
about like sack of meal; for the
cold air was beginning to tell on
him. At last they came to bit of
a brook that crossed the road, and
the Lands horse, being pretty well
used to have his own way, stopped
short and put down his head to take
a drink. This had the effect to make
the poor Laird lose his balance, and
away he went over the horses ears
into the very middle of the brook.