The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1846-05-16


the associate Editor-Mr Cartand-for, by
turning TO the hymenial record of the paper
containing il, we find that Mr. G. was married
shy the Friends Ceremony" few day previ- |
Gus. Pretty good, the article is, for quon-
dam "Bach" and Quaker too We publish
it for the comfort and hope of our bachelor
customers, and trust they will be duly CRATE
lul to us for our good will in their behalf
helors.
These poor harmless beings have always
been tie ylctimS-the innocent victims, of
coursc--ofa relentless persecution. Jokes
and libes have done their worst They have
been common target for all arrows Except
Cupid's)- and under these circumstances, il
is no wonder that they have so frequently
been the victims of insanity-for people do
say that more sipglc people are insane than
those who are married; though from a few
peeps at some domestic PundcmoBiuns, we
should conclude the reverse might be inferred
This splitting of spite at the bachelors is ex-
ceedingly naughty. 1t probably arises from
enyy-thc same feeling that fallen spirits in
dulgc when they think OF tie best. Legisla-
lures have sometimes gravGly attempted to
tar bachelors-as though happiness was Il
conmodityto be taxed. Pretty little girls
have pouted out their pretty hide lips in toll-
Ell Of their budding displeasurc. And now
and then "sngle sister," a title out of her
sunny teens has given vent to her eloquent
scorn in anathematisng the sod Bach."-
Mercy on usIhow they hare talked-and
rallied. And yet the gallant fraternity have
| borne il all with impurtcrablc composure.-
Like Socrates amid the thundcrs of Xantippi,
they have smiled at the outrage and thought
how much worse off the might have been
so far as such exhibitions enabled them to
read destiny.
Not content with tormcnting the living,
these folks set about insulting and maliguiug
the dead. Strange that the H'usfrioRs dead
cannot rest in peace. But the hyena knows
no sanctity to the grave. See here--a most
libellous "eptaph. 1t is "going the rounds
ofthe papers. One would think they had
Really taken to lyiug--these newspapers, that
were never guilty of such CRIME before
| But 10 the
"EPITAPH ON AN OLD BACHELOR.
Beneath this stone being lies,
Who ne or the joys Of wcdlock shared,
With no one near to close his eyes,
One day he dicd-and no one cared"
Cuiumny unparalleled. No one cared"--
What libel ON the mighty dead. But the
epitaph is probably the production Of some
"pin-ieuthered" iguOrnmus. Let us look AT
these things n litte-albeit these obstinate
patcs may he too obtuse to be enlightened
mo one cared" did he when the great New
ton went down to the grave? Ay, Newton
the "being" who trod "the ranpSrls of heav-
ems citadel" aud kenned the mysteries Of the
uniNersc-whom the world honored when
living and whose fame is perpetuated alike
on the records of science and in the ''breath-
ing MARBLE And yet Newton was "bacl-
olor." And so was Locke, and Cavendish,
Boyle and Bentham-phllosoph all,world-
known and world-honored--the great lights
Of the past And the gifted sons of'the Tyre,
too--who does not know them? Dante and
Peuarch--Popc, Gray, Cowper-"Whon e'er
the joys ofwedlock shared" yet living inn
mortal in the strains they sang. So lived
Hume aud Gibbon--Walpoie aud Fitt-uu-
welded but not unknown and forgotten. Let
the calunniators beware how they trample
pertly over the dust ofthese mem They will
live remembered through ages,whe millions
like them, have gone, forgotten,
Clown to the dust from whence they sprung,
Unwept, unhonored, and unsung.'
These are awful facts to stare our revilers in
the face. Let them read; and quell their au-
dacity. At any rate, never insult bachelor
again.
One word more--of our own renowned
countrymen. We remember the lumentcd
Legare-tho classic scholar and gentlemun-
the pride and ornament ofPresident Iylers
Cabinet. And there is the gallant Buchanan,
, too-our distinguished Premier-politically
; speaking, President Folks "better half" 1t
would seem that no Cabinet is perfect until
graced by bachelor So we infer. And
there, too is Washington Irving, the mighty
wizard of "Sunnysde" graceful pen
, has made his country's literature honofed
II IL, va
ers will bloom above his resting place
planted, it may be, by the hand of Beauty, as
an appropriate and gentle tribute TO the gen
ius of one who wove his magic flowers upon
n many starry page. So it will be, we think
. in spite of the ill-bred sneers Of vulgar block
+ heads. But our defence is growing wordy
so we close it, with what is probably every
: bodies wish-Long tjue The bachelors.
!, p Since the above was written, We
nave got Misunderstanding silenced our pc
# culiar scruples in regard 10 tatinga wife as
q did certain piaus Captain Being hare
pressed by one of his men for leave to kill l
: deer, on the Sabbath, after much hesitation he
q waived his conscientious scruples so far as &c
+ tell him he "might go and shoot Il Ue,y SINAI
Il one.'-C.,
u AyEcDoTE. We find in an exchange pa
n per an anecdote ofthe late William Writ, tina
c is too good to be lost Wirts Life of Patric
q Henry, as every reader of that biograph.
Y knows, is excessive in its laudatons of the
Virginia orator; in fact, it may well be doubt
il ed whether the man ever lived to whom sucl
), swelling and varied strains ofpanegyric coul'
d be Justly applied, MS Writ continually resort