Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1841-1853, 1846-03-19
Counting for the Million.

Lesson FOR THE LADIEs-BY JOE MILLER.
If YOU have lover you must seek to attach him to
to you as much as poSsible--for this purpose you
plan early morning walks for the benefit of your
health forenoon excursions for the purpose of shop
ping; afternoon visits to all the Miss Smiths of your
acquaintance, and be always at home of evenings
so that he can have no excuse 10 call elsewhere-re
qure his attendance on all these occasions, a beau
cannot be tied in too hard a knot If you should be
fortunate as to have two lovers, you must exert all
your arts to keep them both strong in their attach
ments with this view you be peculiarly gracious
to each when the other is absent-by a judicious
eluipose of this compenSatng balance you may keep
them in order for long time so that you may not
only have " two strings to your bow"-but two beduS
on one string.
If of your admirers should become unruly treat
him with disdaln and indifference. If he should be
much dsafeced, prove the extent of your GOODNESS by
eating ice cream with his rival.
If you have but one adorable you can test the her-
mometer of his admiration by sending him on various
little errands for you-for instance, to carry your
dear little lap-dog Fido in his arms TO the nearest
wire works, mile off, to be fitted with basket muz-
zle-or, by requiring him to stop Miss Gimps, the
milliner, and bring home your new French bonnet
and feathers, which must be carried by hand, and
can't be shut up in band box. Care must be ia
ken not to heat and overload him with burdens, as
even molasses will get sour iffermented and worked
Quarrel often with your admirers it is delight
luI 10 KISS anu MAKE w men q lover pops
the question, don't answer, but faint immediately in
the most graceful possible. 1t is by far the
most lady-like manner of transacting the business,
besides, you know, silence signifies consent.
If your intended should tax you with your numer-
flirtatons. let your reply be silly as possible
g Soft answer turneth away wrath.
If your beau should be the wrong side of thirty,
do not fail by frequent illusions to old bachelors,
green old age the venerable appearance of reverend
years. &C., to apprse him that you have proper ap-
probation of the respect due to anquateG humanity
Jet occasion pass by where you have an opportu-
nifty to enforce your views this will give him high
opinion of your virtues, old age commands respect
If he should be under twenty-hree you affect to
consider him boy-inquire whether he plays mar
bles now-and whether hoop is considered healty
game. All persons like to be thought young and the
verdant youth cannot but appreciate any compliment
to his greenneSS.
If you think there is the smallest particle of love
in your admirers BOSOM if he cannot be induced to
show il by gentle means, you may scold little, in
order to make him flare up-many a spark has been
blowed up" into quite vigorous fame
j If you have new adorer try and find out what he
is worth-if he's rich encourage him; but if his mo-
ney sack is empty, give him the bag to hold. " II
he should be rich in wealth, you will find sovereign
balm, and you cannot be doHdrouS, but if his empty
purse full of holes seive be assured that his
affection will not 50 hold water. '-RereiAe.