Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1846-01-24
HARD QUEST. ON TO ANSWER.

Scotchman be He'd drunk?"-is an.
swered in style most humorous by the
sod Forest Ranoer." These papers
were written by vapt. w. Campbell, an
officer in the English service, and the
following sketch is one oflhe st the wit
ty writer has given. Res every word
Of it:-Picay me.
"WeIl, Doctor pray give US a definition
Of what you consider being 70 :, that we
may know 10 future when a cannie SEQ
may with proprieiy be considered drunk"
"WeIl, gentlemen said the Do ctor,
shat is rather kitte question to answer,
for you must know there is a great divers
lily OF opinion on the subject. Some sly
that a man is sober as long as he can
stand upon his legs. An Irish friend Of
mine, Gre-eating, hard drinking captain
Of the dragoons. once declared to me on
| his honor as soldier and a gentlem
that he would never allow any friend Of
his to be called drunk till he saw him
trying to light his pipe at the pump,
| And others there be, men OF learning
and responsibility too, who are of opinion
that man has right to consider him.
self sober so long as he can lie fiat on
his back without holding on by the ground
For my own part, am man OF moder-
ate opirions; and would allow that a man
was fou, without being just so far gone as
any of these. But, with your leave gen,
Itemen, l'Il tell you story about the
laird Of Bonniemoon, that will be good
illustration of what | call being lou
"The laird OF Bonnjemoon was gaze
fond of bis bottle--in short, Just poor
drunken body, as said alore. On one
occasion he was asked to dine with
Lord R. neighbor of his, and his
Iordship, being well acquainted with the
Iaird's dislike to small drinks, ordered
bottle of cherry brandy to be set before
him after dinner, instead of port, which
/ he always drank in preference to clarel
when nothing better was 10 be got The
Laird thought this fine heaftsome stuff, and
on he went filing his glass like the rest,
and telling his cracks, and ever the more
he drank the more he praised his lord,
ships port sit was fine full bodied
wine and lay well on the stomach, not
Hike hat poisonous stuff claret, that
made a body feel as if he had swallowed
nest of puddocks,' Well, gentlemen,
the laird had finished one bottle of cher
ry brandy, or, as his lordship called it.,
his particular port and had just tossed
off glass Of the second bottle, which he
declared to be even better than the first,
when his old confidential servant, Watty,
came staving into The room, and making
his best bow, announced that the lalrd'S
horse was at the door. Get out of that,
We lause Loom cried the laird, pulling of
his wig and flinging it at Watty's head
DO ma ye see, We blethering brute; that
| Pm just beginning my second bother
But MASTER says WattY, scratching his
head, its amaist twal o'clock WeeI,
what though it be?' said the laird, turning
up his glass with drunken gravity, while
the rest of the company were like to split
their sides with laughing at him and Wat
Ity. 1T Gamma be ony later, my man, so
just reach me my wig and let the naIg
bide a wee Well gentlemen, it was a
cold frosty night, and Watty soon tired of
kicking his heels at the door; so, in a lit
lie while, back he comes, and says he,
'Maister, master, it's amaist ane o'clock!
.'Weel, Watty,' SAYS the laird with hIc-I
cup, for he was far gone by this time, NJ
will never be ony earlier, Watty, my
man, and that's comfort, so you may
Just rest yourself wee while LANCER till
/ finish my bottle. A full belly makes al
stiff back you know, Watty.' WattyI
was by this time dancing mad; so after
waiting another half hour back he comes
in an awful hurry, and says he, lard,
laird, as true as death the suns rising
'WeeI. Watty,' says the laird, looking
awful wise and trying with both hands to
fill his glass, 'let him rise, my man, let
him rise; he has further to gang the day
Than aither you or me, Watty.
This answer fairly dum(ounded poor
Wauy, and he gave it up IN despair.
But at last the bottle was finished; the
laird was lifted into the saddle, and off he
rode in high gee, thinking all the time
the moon was the sun, and that he had
fine daylight for his journey. Heoch.
Wauy, my man, says the laird, patilag
his stomach and speaking awful thick {
I'VE were name the worse for that second I
bottle this frosty morning Faith an $
swered Wat:y, blowing his fingers and i
looking as blue as bilberry, your honor
is maybe name the worse for it, but I'm
name he better; wish | was Wen, on $
they rode fou cannily, the laird gripping
hard at the horses name, rolling about 0
like a sack OF meal, for the cold air was Y
beginning 10 make the spirits tell on hun, 5
AT last they came TO bit OF brook that
crossed the road, the lard's horse, being Y
pretty well used to have his own way, >
stopped short and put down his head toI'