Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1846-04-22
Somebody In my Bed"
BY II. J. JONES

Somebody In my Bed
BYH.J. JONES
Some famous writer, whose name has
slipped my memory, once asserted that
he never opened book or newspaper
but what he learned something. AS an
offset to this, can safely assert that
never listened to the 'bar-room yarns OF
any company, however unlntellectual an
appearance it wore, without gaining a
new idea, and occasionally one worth
circulation.
A week or two ago during my perigri'
nations through Northern Pennsylvania
spreading knowledge among the den'zens
thereof, q sell, booksD just dropt in
at comfortable inn, where | concluded
to remain for day or two. After a
good substantial suprer,l lit York
county Principe (the like Of which sell
in these regions at the rate Of four for a
penny,) and seated myself around the
bar-room stove. There was the brawny
butcher, the effeminat tailor, q Yankee
fiddler, two horse dealers, land specu-
lator, blackleg. the village Esculaplus,
and the Captain who, in consequence
Of being able to live on his means was Il
man Of no small Importance, and there
fore, allowed to sit before the stove with
the poker to stir the fire-a mark Of re-
spect granted only to persons Of stand
ing:
Yarn after yarn had been spun and the
hour for retiring had arrived-the land~
lord was dosing behind his bar-and the
bpirit Of the conversation was beginning
to flag, when the Doctor whispered to
the that If would pay attention, he
would top off with good one :,
Il believe, Captain said the Doctor, |
heyer told you about my adventure with
a woman at my boarding house, when |
was attending the lectures.
mo, let's have it, replied the individ-
ual addressed, who was short, flabby,
fat man Of about fifty, with higaly ner-
vous temperament, and very red face.
AT the time attended the lectures,
boarded at a house in which there were
no females but the landlady and the old
colored cook
(Here the Doctor made slight pause;
and the Captain by the way ofrequesting
him to 20 on. said 'well.')
Il often felt the want of female society
10 soften the severe labors Of deep study.
and dispel the ennu; to which was SUBJ
iect-' 1
'Well,' said the Captain.
'One evening after listening to long
lecture on Physical Anatomy. and after
1issecting a large negro, fatigued in
body and mind, went to my lodg
lngs-
'Well,' said the captain.
Il went into the hall, took large
lamp, and went directly to my room it
being then after one o'c!ock.-
'Well,'
Il placed the light upon the table, and
commenced undressing. | had hardly
got my coat off when my attention was
to frock, and a quantity of
Pstticoats lying on a chair near the
bed
'WslI, Said the Captain, who began
to show signs that he was getting deeply
Interested.
.And q pair of beautiful shoes and
stockings on the floor. OF course |
thought it strange, and was about 10 re>
sire-but then l thought as it was nv
toem, | had at least right to know who
was in my bed
Exactly nodded the Captain, Well,'
$50 l took the light, went softly to the
bed. and with trembling hand, drew
aside the curtain,-Heayens! what a |
sight! A young girl should say an a
angel about le. was asleep
'WelI.' said the Captain, giving his
chair hitch.
'As I gszed upon her. l thought that I
had never Witnessed anything more
beautiful. From underneath a little
night cap, rivalling the snow in white.
hes. hung a stray ringlet over neck and
shoulders Of aiabaster-'
'WeII,' said the excited Captain, civ
ng his chair another hitch.
Never did look upon a bust more
perfectly formed, took hold of the
:overlet----'
.Well.' said the Captain, throwing his
light leg over his left.
and softly pulled it down.
well, said the Captain, betraying the
Ittnost excitement.
ITO her waist