Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1846-12-31
NUMBER ID.
Courtship.

When young man admires lady, and thinks
her society necessary to his happiness il is proper
before committing himself or inducing the object
Of his admiration 10 do so, 10 apply 10 her parents
or guardians for permission to address her this is
becoming mark of respect, and the circumsian-
ces must be very peculiar, which would justly a
deviation from this course
Every thing secret and unacknowledged is TO be
avoided, as the reputation Of clandestine inter.
course is always more or less injurious through life
The romance evaporaes but the memory OF indis-
erection survives.
Young men frequently amuse themselves by play
ing with the feelings Of young women. They visit
them often, they walk with them, they pay them di-
vers attentions and after giving them an idea that
they are attached to them they leave them or what
Is worse never come TO explanation Of their sem
timents This is TO act The character OF dangIer,
character truly dastardly and Infamous
There is no reason why the passion OF love
should be wrapped up in misery II would prevent
much aud complicated mischief in the world. if all
young people understood it truly
According to the usages Of society, il is the Gus
tom for the man to propose marriage, and for the
female to refuse accept the offer as she may think
fi. There ought 10 be perfec, freedom of the
viii in both parties.
young woman should be in no haste 10 accept
lover Let her know him sufficient time 10
judge Of his qualities OF mind, temper, habits &C.,
before she allows herself 10 be inveiged into
marriage Far better for her to remain single, than
10 run the risk Of wretched, -assorted match
She should consider it no loss if she is never mar.
ried
No man ought to marry who cannot foresee that
he will be able 10 support the additional expenses
Of wife and family and at the same time fulfil his
other necessary obligations. We believe that every
Industrious active aud sober man will find no Sc
rious obstacle in this respect
The opposition Of parents should have all reas-
enable weight with the young of both sexes II
you arc under age, by all wait until you are
legally qualified TO decide for yourself; but never,
under any circumstances, marry against your n-
clinations.
Our rule is comprehensive. The circumstances
cannot be imagined, which would justify male and
female in making repugnant marriage. To save
the lives, fortunes or regulations OF ourselves
parents and friends are not justified in making
a mockery Of the marriage vow by swearing 10 love
her or him. 10 whom we al heart Indifferent
As well might we undertake 10 Justify murder, then
or any other crime under the plea OF subscribing
our own another's interest.
The demeanor Of n sutton towards the object Of
his address, in company, should be very circum-
spect Nothing is more easy than TO make both
himself aud her ridiculous. He should neither neg
lect nor pay her too much marked attention. His
manners towards her should be siudiously respect
iui without being formal.
Couriing in society is equally indicate and Of.
fensive, aud brings both the understanding and the
principles into question: il not into actual suspic-
ion il is besides, display Of selfshness aud yul
garity which is insulting.
Lovers would do well to remember tina, while
courtship is the most absorbing and interesting Of
all occupations to them, il is the most insipid, and
when TOO manifest, the most disiaseful to Others.
When wedding takes place in a family. the
cards Of The newly married pair are sent round to
all their acquanances 10 apprise them Of the event.
The cards are sent out by the bridegroom to his
acquaintances and by the bride and her parents 10
hers. In some instances the cards have been unit
ed BY silken silver cords, but this mode has not
been adopted by The people OF fashion
To those who leave cards at the residence ofIhe
bride and bridegroom during their absence in the
honey moon,' cards are sen, to inform them Of
their return. - ~ ~,