Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1846-12-08
MOastaehes.

of your upper lip, Mister!'' asked a coun.
try Yankee, Of coxcomb, whom he met
with the other Gay.
''Sir," exclaimed the dandy, fiercely
raising his rattan, and bristling up to the
interrogation -"what business is that to
you sir"
"Oh, no business of any consequence,
i to speak on replied the Yankee--"I Just
axed for information, not being much ac
quainted with them are things"
"Well. sir, returned the gallant. an
grily, ''what if you amt acquainted with
theml Must fellow of your cloth have
the impudence to question gentleman of
mine?'
''Is that really your cloth; Mister, or is
1.-THE tailor's," asked the countryman.
THE tailor's?'' exclaimed the coxconb
fiercely, what do you mean by that! Do
you mean to insinuate that IS death!
sar, I'll not-"
swell, l thought as much," returned
the Yankee, carelessly, sticking his hand
into his breeches pocket, and standing
still before the dandy, Il thought you new.
er intended to pay for them"
"What is to you whether pay for them
or not; Havn't | a right to manage as
please with my own tailor--to pay him or
let it alone?'
"Why mister that depends very much
on what sort of bargain You made. If
your tailor agrees to let you cheat him,
why, that's his lookout not mine. But
you hav'nt told me what you call them are
things on your upper lip"
'Sar, you're an impertinent puppy.
sar."
$50 heard you say. Now, fathers
got tarrier dog-but he don't tarry much
can tell you--he'll kill two rats in two
seconds, but as was saying father, he
has got a tarrier dog, that's darned rough
and hairy about the mouth---but lord! be
amt a circumstance, to you, He'd cling
his tail between his legs if he was to see
you, and cry ti-ti.ti-i and run to the end
of the world without stopping. My gra-
cious! how like the devil you O'Clock with
them are things"
'Look! why,sar, they are all the go now.
All gendemen wears mustaches."
''Mustychers, do you call 'em? Well
by hoky, they are musty and rusty too
They look very much like the latter end
of our dogs tail, when he brushes it on
the floor. Faugh! l wouldn't touch EN-
no more n I'd suck bottled thunder through
quill"
"Touch 'em sar! if you offer to put
finger on them I'll cane you within an
inch Of your life. will sar!'
"Cane who! Not with that are switch,
Mister 1 shouldn't mind it no more'n
should IN oat straw"
"WeIl, sir touch my moustaches and
see if you don't get it.
'',Touch your mustychers. Why, I'd
as lieve touch two old chaws Of tobacker
that have just been spit out. Touch 'em
indeed! Why mister, wouldn't touch
'em with the tongs. | can't conceive for
my life what should induce any human
critter to wear such darned nasty lookin
things as Them"
''Nasty looking! do you call 'em! Sir
you have no taste. Nasty looking indeed!
why, sir, they are the admiration of the
ladies'
"Ladies! ha! haw' VOL! They
must have queer ladies down your way
Admiration of the ladies! Ha! There
are wimmen that's plagy fond of pup
pies and sch like, but never knew it was
on account Of the hair the internal beasts
had on 'em. ] have seen 'em fondle and
kiss shaggy dogs as is they were human
critters. But, Lord! don't see how
any woman could iesher lips come within
gun shot of yourn. Admiration of the Ia
/ dies!'
''Do you question what say, sirl''
s'Why, mister, don't know what kind
of ladies you have in the city here. But
one thing can tell you: our country gals
would not no more let you touch 'em than
they would toad; they are very particu-
lar what comes in contact with their lips.
But Mister, how in the name of hair and
bristles Go you eat! How do you go to
work to gel the vitties into your mouth
with them ere things hanging over it, like
a hedge fence over the side of a ditch?-
Do you eat meat and SIGH likei or do you
live on spoon vittles?
ats none Of your business, sar, what
live on. board at seven dollars q week
and eat what please, sar.
Seven dollars week my gracious!
we get board and washing and all in the
country for a dollar and fifty cents; but |
spose they ask you five dollars week
extra for them ere mastychers- Faugh |
would not have 'em at the table for ten
i dollars"
A what fool am to stand here talk
to man Of your cloth. J"
Thus saying, the man with the musta-
| ches houri shed his dandy stick, wheeled
about and walked off. He had gone but
few steps when the Yankee bawled GU,
at him: