American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1846-01-14
From the New Haven Courier ]

So you sit there all day and cut out pieces
from the newspapers; think should like that,
its SO much like patch work.
Yes, madam, we eXcissorize some, though
we are obliged to weave considerable cloth our
selves Suppose you occupy our chair, and
give the public your ideas Of editing paper.
Me! goodness! ! wouldn't sit down here and
write where every body is staring at one for the
world; writing makes person so cross. BE-
sides, your table is all ink, it would soil my
dress; why don't you have nice mahogany ia
BILE, and white curtains at the windows! what
makes You hang up these dusty old papers
round the room? Iflwas obliged TO stay here,
the floor should be washed and carpet laid
down; il must be dreadful to live so.
On! those arc our files; we couldn't dispense
with them very well; and as for i carpet, we
fear it would Brighten away our customers.
Dear me; the gentlemen are SO cnrccss about
every thing nice, that don't think they arc
comfortable, unless they eau have their rooms
all Uttered up. Did you write all those sheets
to-day
Certainly, and we are not through yet
Why--il takes me Il whole day 10 compose
and copy letter | hope you don't scrlwl
and blot so when you write to the ladies'!
We never have that pleasure, madam.
No-and you don't write for them either, or
you would not print such dry stuff as you do.
Don't put any thing more about Oregon and
Congress in the paper, will you!--its so dull
But what are those men doing in the other
room with their sleeves rolled up, and making
motions as if they were going to fight somebo-
dy?
Those are our compostors setting type you
see they all have stick in one hand, and they
place the types in it with the other.
don't see any sticks, unless you call those
little square pieces of iron so; what curious
names you have. Ialways thought stick was
to walk with.
Well, ours make the words walk; those little
boxes, that we call cases, contain the letters;
and the printers put them together into words
and sentences by the aid of that little piece of
iron that you speak of.
Well, | declare! Doctors and lawyers |
knew had cases, but never knew that print
ers had before.
Certainly, madam; they sometimes are foul
cases and hard cases, too; but what can be ex-
pected of those who lead the lives of devils'
Why! do they? I'm sorry to hear it. Do
tell me what that man is filling that trough
with water for.
He's a-going to wet the paper, you know
Oh, yes | thought you always sprinkled
your papers and ironed them, to make them
look so smooth; and suppose this great gal
lows looking machine is your mangle.
That's the press, madam, and this handle
here is the Archimedean lever, which moves
the world. Just notice it's power; you per-
ceive that it's broken lever
Why in the world, then, don't you have it
mended? The men are always So slack; but
what are those things that resemble long pic
ture frames?
Those are what we term galleys.
You have galleys, hey? | didn't know that
the printers were SO much like the Ro,c-mans
before.
Look yonder--what's that boy doing?
Oh, he's distributing a handful Of pie.
Well, shouldn't think handful of pie
would be much among so many. What are
you a-golng to do with these slips Of printed
paper!
These are proofs, and we are obliged to read
them; won't you sit down and help US?
No, indeed! | can't bear TO read any kind
of proof unless sometimes in trials for breach
Of promise. don't believe the ladies' would
make very good printers.
Pardon u.s. madam, but VIC think they would;
their slender fingers would be the very things
for handling Small Caps, Nonpare, Diamond
and MinioD; they might do well even with
Long Primer.
Pshaw! don't mention IL; | never could
abide the name Of the long primer since ma
used TO make me learn the catechism out Of
it. Goodness gracious! if | haven't spoiled
my gloves by touching some Of your old types
What dreadful thing it would be to get your
ink Oh a lady's hand Good morning.