American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1846-10-16

desperation; |, who now would rush through
even the pains of death to be near you, and yet
| cannot. Oh! believe me: am | not right, when
| say there never has existed, in all this world
so wrctched poor creature as myself What
have on this earth to make me happy,
ing save thy dear love-nothing save thy own
precious self, and loving you till every feeling
of this bosom is absorbed in one burning pas
sion. With all this, we are separated, divided
perhaps, eternally; but oh! God, it cannot be;
will not believe that two beings so indissolubIy
united by the purest affection, should be sever
ed forever. Dear love, when | write, or even
think on this subject, it almost kills me, and
this night am almost too miserable for exis-
tonce. feel this Instant could welcome death,
so perfectly wretchGd am |. fear shall be
Ill tomorrow, for | cannot close my eyes in
sleep; all can pray is, that God will have mer-
cy on my soul, for It's bleeding, torn ONE
Good night, love; would that | were now
watching by thy dear side; then should be so
happy that ,COud never iOiSh to sleep, for to sit
and nurse you, mine own dearest, would be
sweeter than all the rest and sleep could haze.
FRIDAY, III O'Clock.
Again this morning, behold ME writing you.
Dear one, | am SO miserable | can do nothing
but write. Oh loved one, that could know
how you are now. pray from my soul, that
you are better-wel. Oh dearest one, would
that could be i'll, instead of you! Would that
might bear every pain-take from you every
suffering, Oh how ChsertulLy would do it, for
it would be such happiness to think was suE
fering, instead you. Dear love, have never
had these feelings before. My God! do they
not speak to you of lCorShip-dQLatry? | am in
n ppr OF n n q
letter. Nothing can picture to you my ankle
ty. am almost beside myself Oh that dear
letteI!-may it tell me you are better, and thus
send one feeling Of happiness to a broken heart.
Now dearest one, | have another, and the
strongest proof to give you of my love. Yes
terday, when | read your note, saying you would
not be able to come here on Saturday, reSoir-
ed, by some means, to defer my departure for a
few days, hoping by that delay should be able
to have one dear meeting in this room, conse-
Grated by SO many happy associations with thy
dear self, mine own love. | cannot bid you
adieu any where save here for have so much
to say to you, that long for a few hours ofper-
feet secluSlon and privacy. This morning
entreated Mr. M only to wait till Wednes-
day, tor really felt too sick to leave home on
Monday. At first he positively refused, saying
l should go on that day. Dear love, it was a
great struggle to my own pride, to beg and en-
treat man thus, who treats me so cruelty
But oh dearest! what would not do to see you
once more. He at length told me there was
but one condition Oh which he would remain
He would stay until Wednesday, if | promised
what he asked. Good God! When he named
the condition, my blood was chilled in nv veins
for moment | could not speak. Oh dear
est it is a most lfghtful, awful condition to
me, and to yield, is like yielding up all my wo-
mans pride--all my decacy. You can ina
CINE the promise, dearest. | cannot write it.
Dear love! though shudder at such proposal,
promised it, even though to perform it, will
be like death-ior, dearest knew if | left on
Monday, might not see you but once-per-
haps not at all. If remained, would see you.
This and this only decided me-for oh mine
own one! would give up all on earth, to see
you. Loved one, il | could tell you the condi-
ton, then you would indeed prize the love
which prompted me to yield feelings which you
know are yours, and yours only. Now dearest
one, shall not see you many times ere leave?
and will we not have one parting here? Oh
this will recompense me for all have done; and
God knows how much it is. Dear one, YOU
say will not come to you tomorrow. Yes,
sweet one, that | will, and | would walk so
iO"S 90 huu ellchStI W 10 so, Just lot one
kind word from those dear lips, ] would not be
willing for you to come to me to-morrow-for
dear one, | would not have you suffer any ia
tlguo-any exeTton. No, not for worlds; and
dear one, fear you thought me unklnd yester-
day, in asking you to come TO the parlour,
know it was wrong; but dearest one, forgive
mel knew not what asked. | was perfect
ly out of my senses, when | wrote you-for
love, misery, all, have nearly taken my reason
from me. Dearest one, read your note-it
will either send misery or gladness to the heart
of your devoted -. Your note has indeed
sent misery to my heart God only knows now
what will become me- Icannot write, dear
est. All | can say, is to beg, to entreat of you
to see me tomorrow. | ask it in the name of
mercy-in the name of love. | shall be there
precisely at half past IL o'clock; ard oh God
grant we may meet. Not strength for one
word more-miserable past experience.