Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1846-04-23

a lady wishes you to kiss her. Now if a
man wanted such thing, the probability is
that he would ask for it fright OUT or it
may be, proceed to snatch one without ask
ing at all; but if the damsel desires one of
the long, long, salutes, of which Byron
speaks, how much more finished is her plan
OF operations! She has some great secret
to tell her lover, and gets behind his chair
to whisper it softly in his ear; her long
curls sweep over his face; her balmy breath
spreads incense around him her Secret
by reason Of her agitation, is murmured SO
low that he can't distinguish word of it ;
and most naturally, turns his face around to
catch her meaning from her eyes; and in
doing so, his lips accidentally, of course,)
meets hers; and then - oh !! 'linked
sweetness long drawn out isn't "a touch to
it,; and the most brilliant exploits of mill
tary strategy are completely dimmed by this
specimen OF female man@uvering, which
lawyer would pronounce to be clear case
of 'obtaining kiss under false pretences'
This is just the way they coax, bewiIder,
and bother; and if they can't succeed in
this manner, they make their next attempt
'DRlp ERS.
Sam Slick says, The men hold the reins
but the women tell them how TO drive;' and
theoretically and practically, such is the fact.
A woman will coax, entreat and languish,
SO long as she can, and men show dispo-
sition to comply; but let these weapons fail,
and 'presto changed She comes out per-
feet tyrant; scolds and berates US, if we are
only 'courting;' boxes our ears, or smacks
our mouths, if we are Engaged; > and lee
lures, scratches and thumps US if we're
'married.' One who is good subject for
'drlving,' stands no chance at all. Every
effort which he makes to extricate himself
only plunges him deeper in the difficulty;
and finally at one start he finishes the mat
ter forever, and we see him safely secured
like big catfish with string through his
gills. Did you ever remark a juvenile pussy
after she has achieved the conquest Of a poor
insignificant mouse: how, she hits it spat
and sends it here, and then to balance mat
tiers gives it another and sends it there; how
she shakes, cuffs and knocks it about until
| it is almost breathless, and then should it
umphaniy, and seems MS IS 5e gaga w o9 it tri
away if you daren If so, then you have
some slight idea of the situation of a poor
fellow who is good subject for 'driving.'
He gets hit here, which sends him bang
into tea-party; then whack comes another
which sends him clear into the middle Of
next week, at picnic party; and whip
comes toss up into the air, and he alights
on his feet at fashionable ball. And one
half of the time the unfortunate man is UNI
conscious of his mal-treatment; thinks ii
all very nice; that he is doing the agreeable.
and making all these arrangements himself:
: when in fact the whole affair is managed by
the lady to suit herself; and yet she has
!, the address to make him believe that he Is
the author. And he stands like calf about
to be led to the slaughter, while his enemie:
are getting the dripping-pan and Blasting
spoon ready for his roasting, and he is a
f this moment being regularly done brown.
!, We see occasionally in the newspapers &C
counts of marriages which take place 'atte
!. fifty years. courtships,' and every one i
, shocked to think of the great waste which
has taken place, when an expeditions 'drl
ver' would have brought the wooer up tt
the popping-point'i Immediately, if not soon
err The matter is very simple. Five o
+ six hints of the superior attractions of MI
o Smith, or Mr.. Brown, with an occasiena
!. going to church with one or the other, o
r both; and then softness of voice, and
sort of 'Don't-speak-to-me-but fright
e away -and-ask-my -pa'-ativeness,' in his pre-
!! sence, will soon bring affairs to crisis.
): is all very nice for beau to have no riva
! but it is sometimes the source of great pro
crastination, when one or two appearance
f of some good-looking man with whisker:
would have sharpened up the ideas of tn
| tagging admirer, wonderfully, and he woul
e have been in great haste to have married hi
r inamorata for fear some body else woult
get her. 1t is said that there are other way
S of 'driving' which are not quite so pleasant
, but as the present generation has been mad
y very we'll acquainted with some of the way
in which it is done, it is thought hardly ne
j cessary to discuss the matter here yet thos
: who wish to study this branch of the science
S are referred to the melancholy variations o
t the patient and long suffering Job Caudle
! But TO change the sad picture, suppose tina
| 'in conclusion we say a word or two O
= sWoRRIERs.'
r When man can't be led, he must b'
t driven: and when he can't be driven, hi
l must be worried. There's smile wher
: he's willing, frown when he's sullen, AM