Wisconsin herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1846-1849, 1846-07-18

Iatntr tuau WdiOp nun WIKI the SuuSci
of cruelty. You think this. because
you don't own donkey. If you had
one, and he wouldn't go till sometime
after he got ready, I'd bet the king
dom of heaven to Coney Island that
you would give him such a cudgelling
as would do honor to the science of
fiagellation; but if you saw any body
else doing the same thing to your dom
key, you would call him cruel mon
ster, and perhaps fall to and give him
Ei1ogging. The fact is, you all want to
do the whipping yourselves, and allow
none Others the privilege. If some
body had stepped up behind, and beat
en- Baalam's ass for him. while the ri
der was humping the poor creature SO
numerically between the ears, there
is no doubt but Baalam would have
been mad about it, to say the least.
My dear friends-you who have not
passed that bourne from whence no
traveller returns'-I mean you who
are not-yet married, but desire to be-
think that. Jyou were hymenially con-
jugated. love would Irvine her anna
ranthine wreaths of joy and bliss
around your hearts, never to fade,
never to die; that you could live upon
love when beef and potatoes were
scarce; that then the golden moments
and silver-winged hours would fit as
noiselessly and prettily along Iife's
flowery lane as butterflies Ger the
blossomed heath; and the atmosphere
perpetually gl:ttering with the span
giles of pleasure shaken from the fleet
pinions of Time. But don't you in
dulge in any such romantic notions
The hot soup of love ,ciH cool, in a
degree, even though set in the warm
sun of fondness; darkening clouds will
sometimes drift athwart the connubial
sky; and in your gardens of delight
will, now and then, be found flower
without fragrance, and roses that
bloom amongst thorns. The most you
can reasonably expect to find in the
dominion OF matrimooy, my friends, is
a happy home, a small but steady
stream oflove, contentment, peace: and
this is far more,you weather-wrapped,
pride-puckered and care-soured old
maids and bachelors ever thought of
possessing.
My hearers-T (no doubt you each
say / were to live my life over again,
1 would pursue altogether a different
course. | would avoid every stump
that have run against in my travels,
steer clear of every mudhole, and ar
rive at the end of life with a clean
shirt and Embarked shins. There is
little question but you would; but re-
member you have only one life to live
in this troublesome world. So shove
all ands, ifs and 5ufs aside.,and go the
rest of the way as though you had
profted by the experience Of the past.
The lamp of reason will guide you
from sloughs and bitches, the star of
hope will cheer you onward; temper
ance will give you strength TO progress,
prudence and economy will keep you
in funds. virtue will prevent your being
waylaid by the robbers of ones repu-
tation, and ! will do all | can, without
straining my back or cracking my
character, to help you safely and snug
ly through. So mote it be!
0P The lady who sent me beau
tiful bunch of flowers, on Thursday
last, is respectfully requested to rise,
and make herself known-if she has
the courage to do it-as ! wish TO say
few words to her upon the .door-steps
concerning her temporal, and perhaps
everlasting welfare.
Some scoundrel stole the bouquet al
most as soon as received.