Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1846-07-08
RAVENNA OHIO WEDNESpAE ]. JULY 5, 1916.

n ES DA Y. JULY s, 1916.
Sucker in a warm Bath.
BY EyERroINT.
E Pun friend Louis, of. the altalian Baths, q
aas Just about the incest arrangement in the
( shape of 4 bath, thatsan up-river man car
desire but still he hash Y after oil, got the
jest touch in thew Of his cecks--a -anc
ttad pe found out recently, atthe ST. Charlie,
our old acquaintance, the Irish lady, who
does the towels, &C., and who-more stretch
to her girdle--resenbles nothing flashy, in
petticoats, except it be Falstaff, disguised as
the fat women Of Brantford, in the "Merry
Wives" We were shown into bathing
room, and there we discovered that an
entire new plan of 'letting on" and :'letting
off" the water had been introduced. We
saw shining brass plate, having ''crank"
turn and elegantly lettered beneath : "Hot,"
"Cold," ,""W aste. !" -
"D'ye understand the cocks % said Mrs
Nc Towel.
"Oh certainly" said we-for the credit
of St. Louis and 'dtalian Baths.'' The fat
mistress Of the mysteries shut herself out ::
we went to work very confidently at the
handles, heard desperate gurgiing up
through polished gratings in the bottom of
the stub" prepared ourselves leisurely for
the luxury, and-but we have another story
to tell about the matter, and, US that other is
rather the richer of the two. we shall only
say, that, between shot" and "cold," we
never were so cooked in our life. After a
desperate struggle, having managed to get
a bath on the ''improved plan" without
exposing our ignorance we left the place,
and were met at the corner by rough but
estimable friend from northern lllinois-one
who has made fortune among the "dig-
gings," and who can afford to take a
'ssplurge" every now and then so he terms
his occasional visits to the large cities.
"You hain't bin takin' a hath, hev ye 2
said he.
ooh, yes" was the reply.
' "Y es,' said we, ga great Improvement
obviates the inconvenience OF the noise ON
!. dash of the old plan.'
5 We hope that this ablicaconfession ma
, prove some atonement-but we certainl,
did talk to our ingenious friend unblush
ingly. He roared out laughing, and gave
us his own experience of the matter.
'Old Mrs. Cornfed there" said he, Task
ed me if "knew the cocks" and told hel
eyes," in course-scourse I'd bathed few
= reckon, though not with them kind o
+ fixins-and | takes and turns 'em all, ant
I there was all kinds of sputter below; ant
!. when ready there WASH a mite Of water il
h the blasted thing! 1t jest naturally run ou
: as fast as it run in, and then knowed wha
r ''was'e" ment. Well, | jest fuses with
!. furst up and then down, and then one side
and then t'other, till | allowed I'd shut th'
n darn thing up, caused the tub begun to fill
Well, it kept 6llin,' and film till | reckon
a ed it was about, and in went, one leg, bu
!. holy Egypt! out | cum agin, bowling
: The cusscd, eternal 'cold one hadn't work
!. ed s'pose, and couldn't cum out wus
l. from severe biler explosion Old sever
). hundred weight knocked at the door: "Per
!, haps ye don't understand the cocks p se
q she. Cock thunder! | sung OUTPUT
i didn't want her in, to laugh at me, an
i want exactly fit TO be seen by lady
y either, if she was fat; so | said it wa
= northn,' and tried again to get the hang o
a the consarned handler-butby this time tn
i tub was quite full, and bilin,' at that, and
! = kept turnin' and waggin till | rather gues
: | must have started the cold one withou
/. stopping the hot; and as it was brimmin
81 before, it jest now naturally overrun, an
= =. prehaps there wasn't the darndest rise a
" over that carpet, in about two minutes, ths
y ever you did see! The cussed cock
- = ,pouldn't stop-nome on 'em, and wa
u hoppin' about in the water and had to sin
10 n out for old fatty, any howl I'd rather gi
" " farm, by thunder, but out sung, an
y y half opened the door fore recollecte
,,s -, about my cosloome. Back went old fatt
- against the center table and broke ptche
. and hoped ON to chair and into m
. pants, and then I broke for one Of tt
opposite bathing rooms, and locked myse
7? e in, and told the old woman I'd Civ her te
Of dollars if she'd swab up, hand me my shin
j. and say nothin' about it! don't kno
,st whether she has or not, but amost die
o. o. lafin' spite ofmy scalded leg, whenever
!, or think ofit!" ss.s
~. No. 81 tell you what" added our Suck
he he friend, 81 don't mind your havin' laG, b
ar if you go topublishin' this in the Reoeill
st III shoot you, by gosh %
ii We beg to assure our friends that y
es consider. ourselves shot !-&. Louis IL
he veiIie. X
n. Shall help you to the butter = said
landlady Of cheap boarding house to one
+ her guests. NJ