The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-12-11

left to hang his hat on"
Old Noah found it was "gittin'
very wet under foot" { to use a ia
miliar phrase of his, and he wisely
built canal-boat { Of very generous
dimensions for the safety of himself
and family. Finding that the rain
continued, he enlarged his boat, SO
that he could carry very consider
able amount of luggage, in case of
accident. This foresight in the old
gentleman proved most fortunate,
and only confirms the established
opinion, that the family is "smart"
for "the storm continued undated
for forty days and forty nights" { SO
say the accounts, until "every spe-
cies of animal and vegetable matter
had been used up"-always except
ing the old gentleman's canal-boat
and cargo! Now, Noah was great
lover of animals-he was !! "Ofev
cry kind, male and female" did he
take into his boat with him, and " a
nice time" they must have had of it
for six weeks! Notwithstanding the
fact which | find recorded in one of
the journals of the day, that ga gen.
tleman who was swimming about,
and who requested the old man 10 let
him in, upon being refused declared
that he might go to grass with his old
canoe, for he didn't think it would
be much of shower, anyhow !' /
say notwithstanding this opinion of
the gentleman, who is represented
as having been every expert swim
mer," every thing was destroyed.
Ham was one of 'em-he was !
He "knew sufficient to get out of
the RAIN" albeit lie wasn't thought
rery witty! He took passage with
the rest, however, and thus did away
with the ne cessity of a life-preserver.
From Ham ! trace my pedigree d.
rectly down, through all the grades,
to King Solomon, without any diff
culty-who, by the way, was report
ed to have been little loose in his
habits, and was very fond of the Ia
dies and Manzanilla Sherry. He
used to sing songs, too-of which
''the least said the soonest mended."
But, On the whole, Sol. was a very
clever, jolly, good fellow, and on sew
eral occasions gave evidence of pos
scssing his share of the cunning nat
ural to our family. Some thought
him "wise"-but although | have
no disposition to abuse any Of my an
cestors, think teh Queen of Sheba
{ a very nice young woman she was,
too, } rather "come it" over the old
fellow.
By continuous chain, I trace my
relationship thence through rather
tortuous line, from generation to gem
Grafton, down to Mr.. Matthew, (not
the comedian. but to Matthew the
Collector, (ol Ga!lilee think, } who
"sat at the receipt of customs.' To
his connection ] was undoubtedly
indebted to the appointment (somc
three years back to the second
cashier-ship in the Boston Custom
House. Matthew lived in the rood
old "high tariff" times when some.
thing in the shape of duties was com.
ing in. But as nothing is said of his
fnaie, rather think lie absquatula-
ted with the funds of the Govern
ment-and thus | account for nv re-
moral from Office, in 1915, by Mar
Gus Morton! The old rogy probably
me-, from the fact that
Matthew had "Swartwoutedr But
J will come to the information YOU
desire, without father ado.
You know the "OLp 'Uv," I'M
doubted!y. or you don't, there is
very little doubt but you will know
his ndmeSGhe hereafter, ifyou don't
cease to squander your time in look
ing after the plumber of the Burnham
family y Well, the "Old 'Un" is
in the "direct line" to which | have
endeavo.ed to turn your attention,
and lhave been called, of late years,
the "YouHG 'UN"-for reasons that
will not interest you. To my hon
ored Senior (whom | set down in my
category as my legitimate "dad,") +
would refer you for father particu-
lars. He is tenacious of the charac-
ter of his progeny-and loves me
would commend him to you, for it
will warm the cookies of his old
heart to learn that the "YouNc 'UN"
is in hck.
lfyou chance to live long enough
to get as far Gown in my letter as
ms paragraph, allow me to add, that
should you happen to receive any
very considerable amount, as mn
share ofthe property" for the Burn.
ham family, please not overlook the
fact that am some of 'cm"-
that l have taken pains to tell you
''whar cum from" Please forward
my dividend by Adams & Co.'s Ex-
press, if their crates should be big
enough to convey it, and if should
prove too bulky, turn it into Amcri-
i