Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1846-04-29

upon penalty OF twelve pence Tor each |
day they shall sit in the alley after the
present day. 1t was further ordered
that eydY dog that comes to meeting
after Tho present day, either the Lords
or lecture days, except it be their dogs
that paydor dog whipper, the owners
of se dogs shall pay six pence for
eved1Allne they come to the meeting"
e& oVdNudl. nv. s.vs
"Nu@ 1t work. Mischief thou art afoot,
IS sTekeisbt course thou wilt. ....-.a.s T..
The substance of the following is no
fiction. In village, whose inhabitants,
like the good people Of Athens, were
much given to "either tell or hear some-
thing new," lived Squire P, facetous,
good natured sort Of body, whose jokes
are even yet a matter o. the village re-
cord, and have been retod through war;
ious editions, from folio down'to duode-
cimo.
Aunt Lizzy was Deacon Snipc's
wife's sister-a maiden lady of about
fifty. She went to all the meetings,
kept a regular account Of every birth,
death and marriage, with their dates
doctored all their babies, and knew
every arb in the neighborhood-shewed
all the young married people how to
make soap, and when they had bad
luck, made every child in the house sit
cross>legged until the luck changed. In
fine, she was kind of village factotum
spent her time in going from house to
house, grinding out grist of SANDER to
each, as occasion required, but always
concluded, with ":he way Of the trans.
gressor is hard;" "poor Mr.. B. or Mrs.
B. Gas the case was) pity her from the
bottom OF my heart" or some other very
soothing reflection. Aunt Lizzy was
always very fond of asking strangers
and others, without regard to time or
place, "the state of their minds, how
they enjoyed their minds," &c. These
questions were generally followed by a
string of scandal, which was calculated
to destroy the peace and happiness Of
, some Of her best neighbocs and friends
! but she, like other narrators OF this kind
considered such intellectual murder a:
either establishing her reputation, or as
the only mode ofentertaining the village
ard thereby rendering her society a
greeable.
One warm summers afternoon, as the
SQUIRE was setting near his Office door.
smoking his pipe, Aunt Lizzy was pass
ing by with great speed, ruminating on
the news of the day, when the Squire
brought her suddenly to, as the sailors
say, by "what's your hurry Aunt Lizzy!
walk in." The old lady, never waiting
a second invitation, went into the office
and the following dialogue took place:
"Well, Squire P, | have been think
ing this afternoon what a useful man yor
might be, if you'd only leave Oft youl
light conversations, as the good book
saws, and become serious man-you
might be an ornament 10 both church
and state, as our minister says"
"Why as to that, Aunt Lizzy, cheer
full countenance consider as the bes
index of a grateful heart. and you know
what the Bible says on that subject
''When ye fast be not as the hypocr!te
with sad countenance; but annoint tiny
head, vash thy face, (Aunt Llzzy began
to feel for her pocket handkerchief, to1
she was a taker of snuf) that thou ap
n pear not unto men to fast"
e "Now, there, Squire-that's JUS
n wha, I told ye-see how you have tn
d scripter at your tongues end! what
1t useful man you might be in you
G church, if you'd only be doer as we
}. as a hearer of the word"
It AS to that, Aunt Lizzy,I don't Sc
y that your professions are whit bette
i than am in private. respect sir
Is cere profession as much as any maj
but | know enough of one Of yol
10 church whom you think a great deal
: to know that she is no better than sh
Ig should be-" ..... .... 49,.
At the innuendo, Aunt Lizzy's lit
IS black eyes began to twinkle; she s.
ID down beside the Squire in order
W speak in lower tone-spread h
n, handkerchief over her lap. and began
ze tap the cover Of her snuff box in tft
y style, and all things being in readlne'
of for regular siege Of "scandalum MAJ
i natum" she commenced fire.
It. "Now, Squire, Iwant to know Wh
YOU mean by ONE Of our church!
know who you mean--the trolloP!
'P didn't like so many curls about N
I'll head, when she told her experience"
The Squire finding curiosity. W
lie putting his boots on, had no occasion
vs1 add spurs TO the heels, for the old lac
is had one in her head that was worth bo
70 of them. Accordingly he had nopea
= until he consented to explain what
40 meant by the expression in private
in this was dear word with Aunt Liz