Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1846-02-12
GREEN MOUNTAIN FRFEMANs

done the better for then the difference will be
the sooner settled You are right in your sec
ond point, to do every thing you can to please
your husband But you must not expect that
he will always be pleased. Sometimes even
your most especial effort may fail to accomplish
the object 1t may be that the very thing that
ought to please him, from some unknown cir
cumstance may have Just the opposite effect.
This will sometimes result from difference of
taste, which must necessarily exist in many mi
nor matters, even in the most congenial minds.
What will please you, will not always please your
husband 1t may in general please him to see
you pleased, but it may, and without doubt, will
happen that something that will afford you graft
fcation, will have an opposite effect upon him.
On this point, Mira, however much you may
think you receive your impressions in love by
intuition, your mind will have to be exercised in
study And when you have studied, and after
you have done your best to please and fail, and
are disappointed, refrain from poutng and look
ing angry, and get over your unpleasant feelings
as quickly as may be. Meet your husband with
cheerful smile, even if you struggle to keep
down some opposing feeling to do it. Your
cheerfulness will do much for the accomplish
ment Of your purpose and will frequently re-
move the cloud from your husbands brow, and
cause him to take pleasure in what affords you
qualification, even if his own taste and inclina-
ton do not lead him to its enjoyment And
now, my dear Mira, do not be offended if tell
you that upon your third point you are utterly
and altogether mistaken, You may be digniied,
and reserved, and independent, and all that to
any one else but you must not be so to your
husband independence is thing which should
be unknown between man and wife They are
really dependent upon each other, dependent
in the strongest sense of the term, dependent
in every thing, and in every way. Dependence
is their mutual trust the capital upon which they
draw for their affection. And that dependence
must be confessed. 1t must be acted upon. 1t
must be seen, 1t must be felt 1t must always
be seen-always felt No sensible wife would
treat with contempt the husband whose depend
ence upon her for happiness was seen and &C
knowedged. And no man that deserves to be
called man, would impose upon the wife whose
all of hope for the joy which this world affords
is centred in himself Where the dependence
is mutual, Mira, there must be mutual conf
dence and mutual peace. And on this third
point, my dear, If understand you, you seem to
think the dependence Of the marriage station
thing that contravenes the high respect which
the parties should entertain foi each other This
is not so. On the contrary, in the dependence
of the one upon the other, is the respect of both
seen. Let me be particular upon the point 1t
is the rock, Mira, on which the happiness Of
thousands has been shipwrecked Many mar
rled persons have most improperly imagined that
ii is necessary at times, and under certain cir
cumstances, to show their independence And
it has happened that they have endeasered to let
society can be dispensed with Some have
studied how to practice their Indifference. And
they have practised it but too successfully. 1t
has ripened into disrespect, and wretcbedness
has followed. Often has it occurred that some
mere triae has given offence, and the offended
party has shown resentment in that independent
manner which you so much admire, and which
Ia some relations you deem SO necessary; the
resentment has been succeeded by a settled in
difference for lovers resent but to relapse into
settled GOODNESS And when the injured party
has shown resistance in the return Of like treat
ment, both have been rendered miserable. In
such instances, neither party is willing to sub
NIT to the humiliation which is required in their
mutual concession. o, how many days, and
weeks, and months Of bitterness have been
passed in this way And how often has such
behavior laid the foundation of lasting dislike
And strange as it may seem, the one that begins
the injury, is the last to give up Ii seems as if
the consciousness of having done the wrong ex-
cites the feeling of contempt in the individual,
and lmpes a continued resistance. While con-
science stings the guilty one to the soul, he is
unwilling to acknowledge the Improperly, be-
cause it fasens his guilt upon him. and humbles
him in his own eyes Remember Mira, that
the first to offend is almost always the last to
forgive, and do your utmost not to offend your
self, and to prevent the husband whom you love
from doing so. Against this notion of yours,
that independence should sometimes he prac-
tised by you, my dear girl, would most affec-
tlonateIy warn you, am the more anxious to
caution you against it, because you seem to re-
gard it as the most important of the points upon
which you have touched You deem that independ-
ence and spirit in woman and exhibited towards her
husband, will be captivating in his eyes, Never was
any thing more false. Never was any thing more de-
cepve The independence you would love to practise
is but shade below Indifference, and in the husband
it is cruely in the wife the greatest folly that can be
conceived The married are to take each other for
veal or wo. They should always be willing to lie at
each others feet and to unbosom themselves to one
another in all the freedom of an artless confidence in
all the sincerity of devoted trust. But, let me saw
my DEAR that it is not necessary that the world should
know how much wife is dependent upon her husbands
or husband upon his wife for the enjoyment of fe's
blessings; but they should know it themselves and
feel it, and practise upon it continually And now
Mira, while | am speaking on the subject, will add a