The New era. [volume] ([Portsmouth, Va.]) 1845-1847, 1846-12-03
A YANKEE IN A COAL SCREEN.
BY JOE MILLER, JR.

In order TO load the coal boats on the I.ehioh
canal, short but steep inclined plane of about so
feet in length, is made at the chute which runs
from a station house the side of the mountain
to large circular revolving screen To the load
ed car is attached ripe which draws up an empty
car, and, arrived at the the lower end of
the car is suddenly unbolted and the coal is shot
with great velocity into hopper; this conveys
II directly into the screen, which has three larUe
chambers, through which coal of as many sizes is
rlddled out, and shot by scruppers, into Just as
many boats, waiting for descriptions of the ar
ticle
few months since, a Yankee of the genuine
breed. quite inqnisitive. but more verdant than a
Yankee should be, gained the station house, and
gaZed with wonder at the contrivances. He par
tcnlarly admired the swifness with which the
loaded car descended and empted its load, and
the velocity with which it returned to give place
to another
ShLrtly his attention was attracted by seeing
laborer mount one Of the full cars, about to make
the descent
Going to slde2" inquired he.
" Yes, going to chute wont you 90 %
Wal, guess I'll stop bit, and see you do
The car swiftly descended and, ere it reached
the hopper, the passenger jumped off safely
90 DO you do that often 2" inquired he of one of
the laborers III the station house
Oh, yes continually" was the waggish an
swer, yon know most all the boatmen are sin
gle men, and they often have orders for
'.tamily cOal,' always send down mar
ried man with every of that kind to let 'em
know
Wal now, du tell" uttered the eastern man.
The more the Yankee looked at the apparat
MS. the more did he become convinced that it
1t would be great thing to 90 down the steep
in that way-somethng that he could tell to
hum"
Plncking up courage, he approached the super
intendent
"That beats sledden down hill, don'tit?"
50 'spose it Does
I" You couldn't let a Teller down hill, could
You o.
Why do you think you can jump off in
time 2"
Oh. yes, Pm reckoned considerable of Jump
er-jnmpIn does me good; | once jumped off a
hay NOV thirty feet high, and it made me so
supple that Pm give in to be the best dancer in the
hull township
Well, get on, and take care of yoursef.''
Suddenly the car moved off, and our friend
fund the speed so fearful, and the declivity so
great, that he was forced TO stoop down and grasp
the sides Of his vehicle for support The Mace
where the laborer had leapt of was reached but
the Yankee was not in the position to jump, he
had to hold on, and, running down descent three
times as steep as that which he had come, sud
den click shot the bolt, and, with violent force
out went The contents, Yankee included, into the
hopper.
p" Murder! get me out! stop the concarn =
shouted our hero, as he felt himself sliding down
the hopper to the cylender 4" Murder stop the
concarn-I'll be killed But the motive power of
Tie concarn was water, which had no sympa-
my WIN thoSe who pOrsne knowledge under diff
culties, and those who saw were too distant and
too much convulsed with laughter to Weld assis
lance. Into the screen he slid landing on the top
and az he felt himself revolving with the coal he
grasped the wires in desperation 10 preyent him
self from being rolled to the boltom-around the
wheel he went, and our friends sensbilitv was
touched by plentiful shower Of fine coal dust rid
died through from all the chambers. He mana
ged to get one eye open, sDd saw with delight that
the cylinder was only about fifteen feet in length
and he forced his way forward to the opening
with desperation, but il was not altogether sue
cessu another revolution of The wheel had yet
10 be borne, and The next time he reached the bot
TON he was shot out Of the scupper into the boat
beneath To the screams Of laughter with which
MS advent was hailed, our hero said not a word
Dut getllng out an old handkerchief rubbed the
dust out OF his eye, and surveying his torn apparel
and bruised, battered, scratched and cut limbs. he
" raised his Veln' to know as To what mali
iy of anthracite he had been deIiyered-vsbeo
smashing his remnant Of hat over HE eves
he siumped of, muttering broken and screen.
ed, by thunder"
A ToAsr.--" Old Bachelors like sour eide,
they grow more Grabbed the longer they are kent,
and when they see a lille mother, then torn to
vinegar at once"