The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1846-11-14
My heart within its early houe

Nor lured me from those scene TO roam.
Oh! but that midst this weary gloom,
One thought Mt time my pathway cheers,
! could desire the tranquil tomb,
10 take me in my sprirg.time years.
IT'S this-that God perchunce designs,
Thus to attract my heart to Him,
And oft my weary spirit pines,
For lightno earthborn clouds can dim
The Bible speaks of such a ight,
To cheer the darkest, snddest lot,
Though when my pain with hope was bright,
My needless soul desired il not
Now, when the star which lie my sky,
Is shadowed DER, / seek It's raw
| Savior ofsinners, hear ray cry,
And turn my spirits nigat today!
Ere conluded the perusal ofthose melan-
choly expressions o. an aching and crushed
heart, new light seemed to penetrate my
brain, and awoHe from the long dream of
| ttoughtlessnes', TO sleep thus no more has
tily reviewed my married life, recalled, as far
ms could, eJery look, word, and action ofmy
wife, and ,Ield deep and earnest communig
with mys elf A Bible lay on the table. /
took ittwice, and carefully pondered its mean
ing. Involuntary, fell upon my knees, and
vowed in that silent hour 10 act out the hus-
ba'ld whose poruaSture he drew. Vain and
Presumptuous mortal! Blind to my own
J weakness ard inability, l promised in my
own strength! Justly, but tearfully, was my
p, arrogance chastisedl | had purposed start
ing in two days for the residence ofMr Wal
lingiord. | now determined to forestall my
intentions and set out with the ensuing dawn.
| threw inyselfon Il sofa, and tried TO take re-
pose, but could not. Ny dreams were dis
turbed by confused and distressing images.
I 4 II
my horse saddled. When the sun arose,
was in the neighborhood ofmy wife. As
approached the house, checked my speed,
and medi;ated on the best course ofannounc-
ing my arrival without alarming the treasur-
ed object otmy every thought. had resolv-
ed 10 dispel the illusion which darkened her
| happiness, by tearing the veil from my heart
and revealing to her all IRIS emotions. As |
pictured her past suffering and her present
sadness, | was restIessy impatient fox the
moment ofeXplanation 10 arrive. As drew
nearer to the dwelling of her father, dis
cerned several persons passing hurriedy a.
bout the premises and perceiveda horse at
the gate prepared for travelling.
lprcssed eagerly forward, and sensation
ofsickness came over me. Mr. Wallingford,
accompanied by servant holding a horse
whip, crossed the thresihold of the outer
hail. us reached the lawn. He was speak
ing earnestly. Suddenly his eye rested on
my figure; he started, stood one moment il.-
resolute, and then hastily came TO meet me-
lie clasped my hund warmly, attempted TO
reply TO my frantic heterogeneous and burst
into tears. Tenderly, very ,euderly, he broke |
to me the heart-rending intelligence. | was
a father, but would soon cease 10 be llis- |
band. My wife was dying.
| felt, at that miserable moment, that to see
La, al, 4
linked with the deep consciousness of nv
own exceeding unworthness, came the first
really grateful emotion had ever experience
ed towards the author of my being. The
physician permitted my approach to the bed
side of his patient, for he deemed her beyond
the influence ofagitation, and could not he
She lay in what seemed, to my }
unpractised eve, II sweet and placid slumber,
and an angelic smile sat like seal upon her
lips whose coral hue strikngly contrasted
with the extreme paleness of her counten-
nnce. There was no contraction about The
brow, no symptom ofpainfl struggles with
mars last adversary. The hope, which G.
ven in its whitening, had pressed TO my
bleeding heart, suddenly revived, and shed
some drops of balsan there. The commits |
,rating father of my Alice read in my eager
Eye the CONFUSION ofmy feelings, and his
nourninl glance brought my anguish. My
wife had held no communion with those a !
'ound her for two hours. l knelt beside her, I
md conjured her to spealto me, addressing $
Ter by every epithet oftenderness my burst 5
ng heart could dictate, hut she gave me no t
csponse. Yet believe, NY, must believe, !
HE recognized me, though her power of :
llterance was gone, for her eyes, which had l
,cen partially closed, opened, and We're fixed Il
Ipon me; and though their gaze was express o
Ill,
bout the mouth, evincing an effort 10 speak II
D me. But no sound reached my ear; no re- v
Ilrnng flush on that fair cheek, no change of u
told ofem0on, at the sight of q
er husband. Once how many Indications a
finer love had passed unnoticed and unac- c
now, when the most trfing TO s.
en- would have been purchased with world u
nd treasured as invaluable, it could not be h
pon. 9
But why prolong the sad narration? She te
assed away gently in that quiet slumber,lik W
wearied child composed to sleep. The n
octor said she died of weakness only, that o.
lere was no other sign of disease. But I a.
new that hers was the sickness ofthe heart. oi
What but herrecent illness had caused debit &C
v, and what had been the source of that i'll q,
ess but mental grief? They told me that OF
re she became nsensibe, she had left Il OF
iessage for me. Ii was this: that 81 must u'
repare to meet her in the home of the re- pc
eemed." She had believed when we parted IN
lat she should see inc no more. She had 10
death, and was resigned to its APP CT
roach. Her indisposition, as well as the III
Lighting ofher early hopes, had been sancti- m
ed to her spirits interests, and she had ear W.
estiy sought and happily Obtained the peace y,
r which she pined-the peace of God. aI'
Many years have gone by since stood Ey tn
e coffined form ofmy beloved wife. then w
WED to lavish on her child the love. whose SIT