The Arkansas banner., 1846-03-04

siss new atachments-the past shall be slammed as an unweicome vsiant, andeverv recol- lection of what hath occurred between ps shall vanish from her memory like mel | ancholy morning dream.
 Transferred from the quiet of rural shades to tie heart of the mighty metropolis, was Tor few days after my arrival exceedingly | miserable.-Amid the tremendous mass of population, felt my fractional insieniicance so bitterly, that my mind, overcome by a sense of profound humility, almost lowered itself down 10 despair. In little while. however, when custom had taken oil the edge of novelty, and when the overwhelm l ing objects around me were beginning teslssoi thelr impressions of extinguishlng prepon- derance, my feelings commenced flowing in new channel; weight seemed as if remov- ing from oil me, and perhaps as much com fort, all things considered, was my portion, as could possibly attend being so despon- dlng and sensitive as nature had formed me
 A month passed over and commenced my medical studies, if not with enthusiasm, at least with the determination to be as in- dustrlous and attentive as possible Many things occurred to shock me, especially in the anatomical deparlment, and have loath- ed to see, what propriety of feeling prompts me to bury for ever in silence-et us draw the curtain of oblivion over all scientific hor- TOTS. batled against the fastidousness and the squeamsh dclicacv of my impressions with the whole force ef my understanding 1; but my heart and natural feelings never could become parties to what 1 witnessed; and though endeaYoured to consider the dis gustlhg spectacles before me, not by them selves simply abomnable, but as the details oi noble and generous system, at the same tune perceived with acompunclious sorrow that all my romantic ideas of the constitution H ot human society, of life, and man, aud na- ture, were passing from me like shutting flowers at nightiall; aud that if my mind could not preserve it's energy undiminished, ran imminent risk of subsiding into mis- anthropic and gloomy latalist.
 My repered instructor, Dr. Singleton con tinucd most parenally to keep up cores pondence with me, and about two mor,ths after my arrival in London, received Iet- ter from him couehed in terms of ssthe most atieclionate nterest.n In 1t he encouraged me to asslduity in my studies, and assured me that mans success in life depended in almost every case on his own exertions and deserts-that my being Jeff almost without relations, instead of being cause of disheart- niBg, ought to be all additional stimulus te my getting on; as where there were the lewest helps to success, there was the greater hon our in attaining t. Thus far all was well and, as read, the glow of emulation expan- ded my bosom; but if the body of this letter nerved my heart, the postscript completely daughters rapidly declining health!
 Here again my prospects were all once more suddenly clouded; the garden of ex- istence smiled as if about to burst into bloom and the wlirwind of desolalion passed over It. Where now was my industry tried to study, but closed my books in disgust. lost all relish for employment; and abstract ed, downeast, and moody, became the sport of my sensations. Tine acquaintances had begun 10 form were broken of, and shun- ned society as the face of an enemy. l. IS true, that, as by a mechanical impulse, con timed 10 attend lectures with my woned regularity; but instead of following Albinus, Camper, and Monro, my thoughts were far away, wandering amid my old haunts by the sylvan Ouse, conluring up the lovliest oi Anna Singleton, mourning over her beauty ill pale decay.
 Circumstances hemmed me round, and perplexed me that l had become, as it were incapable ol thinking or acting for myself Dr. Singleto was, at least have every req son to suppose so, unconscious of the tender ties subsisting between his child and myself and of course had Bo ieesibe excuse to offer for abandoning my studies al mid-term, and go down 10 visit him. What was ] 10 do3 SeIf-abandened to desire, was to re- main in istless likeness, while events, which were moulding my destiny for ever, hurrying on around me. Was the object of my hearts perhaps of death, to pine in loneliness with, out being cheered by single word of mine, assuring her how dearly she was beloved, and how deeply her illness was lamenied. | Alas! without mourning the imputaton of In- sanity, 1 felt that must remain silent, and suffer in my 'shope deferredp all the anxiety with which fear and affection can torture the human bosom
 For several days could not eat morsel, 1 and to lie down at night was frlghtlul, for sleep seemed to lave fled from my pillow for ever. That there is state of earthly wretchedness more complete than mine was during this agony of suspense, ian would not hope; yet was my misery nncomblned with guilt, and all my sorrows arising from the intensity of innocent affections.
 (T'o De confinued)
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