Democratic banner., 1846-12-07
COATES

COATES
Have Er~eponderated so long in the
world Of fashion, to the discontinue and
almost utter exclusion of all other hirsute
developments, that the total silence of the
press respecting them, seems to US some
what uraccountable. Every other article
ofmen's wear, especially if it be a little Ou-
ter in its general appearance, readily &C
quires for itself q paragraph complimentary
or a sharp critique-a word of encourage
ment or a line of reproach: but, the c~oATEE,I
that sine qua non of modern gentility, is
left all alone in its glory, 10 prosper or de-
cay, as it's fate may be. without even a pas
sing notice from those, who ought always toI
be the heralds of every thing that savors Of
improvement!
Now, for one, we are willing to acknowl-i
edge our remissneSs in this matter: and by
way Of atoning for it, and softening down,
the asperities of those, who have been thus
barber-ously neglected, We have determined
to brush up the matter, in a short article.
'Jfan,' says an old writer. lis an animal
that imitates.' We hold with him there.
For, although the position thus laid down,
is sweeping and startling, yet, were all other.
proofs wanting to establish the truth of the
dogma, the prevalence and almost u%niver-I
salty of the G~oArEE, demonstrate the validi-.
ty of the assertion. Does any doubt this?
that indispensable, depending from the chin!
Does he not show himself an exceedingly
clever imitator of that quadruped, which he
has selected as a prototype? How much
does he fall behind the Goat, in his 6eardy
appendage? We do not pretend to say that
he goes to such a length in the matter: but.
as far as quantity is concerned, we have
seen tw%o-legged animals ensconced behinG
as big a bush ofheir, as ever belonged to 0n1
brute J! Thus humanity vies with, and in
some respects, e~clipses brutality!
But, COATES admit of classification. Like
every thing else fashionable, they have then
shades, varieties and peculiarities. In the
first place, yoH may observe the modest
finely pencilled development-the mere sha.
dow Of a shade-that blusilingly peeps
through the epidermis, as if fearful of being
too obtrusive; but, with ambition sufficient
to desire a prominence above the commor
LeUeE. Here is the GoATEE! This growth
is encouraged by nice young gentlemen, tc
whom. nature has not been as gracious, as
they desire. Then comes the GoATEE pro,
per: the bona fde specimen of what the
thing ought to be, and the desideratun1 Of
the ton. 1t may be known by it's careless,
how dye do sort of air: curling up, as if
unconcious or regardless of all observation.
and perfectly at home In any crowd.
Lastly, we have the GOAT itself: this
we consider the ne plus ultra of the whole
tribe. Years of patience and devotion mus
be passed, before one can rejoice in thi
barbate dependency. Sleek and penduIous
it is the observed of all Observers 1t has
dignity of appearance, that cannot b.
matched, except by the Capricornal spe
cies, and in truth, the biPed possessor o
this attribute, may be frequently mistaken
for the quadruped he rivals.
Next, not to be prolix; there are differ
ences in shade. One revels in a glossy, jet
black appurtenance: while bis neighbo
conceals his countenance beneath a foxy rec
Here, you meet a specimen of humanity
whom fortune has favored with a grizzl
attribute of hair; and, at the very first tur
of the corner, you come athwart a chaI
who would scorn any other coler tina
brown.
Each peculiar kind and colo. has il
numerous and stanch devotees. Each
cultivated either to perfection, or, as niue
as the nature ofthe soil will admit. Thong
spontaneous in their growth, GoArErs mu.
be attended to, with a constant anxiety fc
their welfare, or they will fade and drool
to become objects of disgust, rather tina
indexes of admiration. Who can tell, ho'
much labor is bestowed in bringing to ma
turity those extraordinary specimens oc
casionally encountered? Who knows, eA
cept he that has tried, how much energy
mind it has cots the wearer, to produce tia
which shall remain unrivalled?
However, we will say no more a tPrcsen