Richmond daily Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1842-1861, 1846-06-24
A LETTER TO BENEzeR pRuNr

I Ma-l
rine decidedly the ehes aud graphic de.er mi,
seisc that has yet been Published mus, be read by
every body.
A LETTER TO BENEzsR PRuNE.
| Grocer and General Dealer Of tAs tswa Of NsmsksM
DkAR EnKSrikR i-Your letter hand. There
was no tear OF that No letter that showed man TO be
TOOL everJei mi.cared. And pretty noodle your fool.
cap paint you What you're glad that we're going 10 Ia We
Sn' 'pe minus You're delighted to find we've much
blood IN US Blood indeed! What business has any de-
| puddings ~ " WYNN
Well, your time of ife didn't think YOU eouIJ have
the ppe-eay fever strong upon you Aud We, 4, only
makes out notion OF mine. You may begin with hoy.
and lads and teach Them what's right aud lis
Paug hau TO take the twis aud crank Of your
peomeic m'ddleaged Solomons that will DO fools and
sun 'hink you're 30 very wisc only because You're
WIN grave lace You say the whole town OF Numskull
rps iot"n. III 'rwoud IL iust right TO have
one mornings relish Of IL. The mayor you say 4. very
no tof glory and tho mayoress and her dyin, to
~" ~no'e own IN rcgmen'als II the thing could be
zone, should like TO have Numsku besiered and the
nvors house. particularly, well peppered 'rwoud be
neo holiday capital sight for the rest OF all England
Lei eo. 10 arrange avery pretty days amusement
ti lte Mayor Is yeti his bed. laying ON his back
y Sn his thumbs. aud counting over his virtues
Mhk-bang-ernsh! A shell-ired bv IN, Wake.
whoIehog Arhllery-(ihey landed last NIGHT from an,
IasaaS1s, pennsylvania rgasl-alls through the roof
s "oo' snu noor-catiies away, never mnding tho
screams half the State tester leaving the mayor
sna MS vile unhuit-but sl falling through dining
anu PaI%-and nient upon its worst descending into the
s.as.,an p many cropping into pipe OF the very bes,
oeSns or, Just going 10 be bottled. Now, this bomb
well SUPPOSE to be the hEsl sugar plum of war,
me mayor Jumps ont Of bed, thinking of his MONEY!
nus pate ms bonds. his pipe OF Port, and hi, wife and
auE"'es' inc lady Mnyoress screams like-no emit
MINK OF nothing sronger-like n woman. And then her
nVe daughters, all in thor bed gowns and curl p,pes
tHshns IN scream too, to show the tenderness and tho
weakness OF ugcir womanhood. Now Eh,n,y.t 49,,
at ~ S creatures pretty hyPoerites mean what saw
be's their ue satisfied souls. how they do love the mill
Ay TO be sure What beautiful thing rcxi,,y !. q, So,
Hf And how ihey smile upon eannon.bals as N
ey Were things 10 eat-and how they'll wink their pre.
Sous eyes IN tho bcastpaes OF tho dear officers NOR,
han they stared in their looking glasses, And then
~ "eH puhed-up hearts, they think no more of n man
W., oatnoSot fowl II he isn't soldier. But only
ieather IN his capred cloth and gold Inc, ON nj.
him ugat round with sash 1.-THE babe of eIoryD
and lei long sword dangc by his side-snd TO woman.
49, ~n' gear peacock the sweet fellow lie. She could
oo" MN all over the word his are SO fine and n,
does strut so beautifully And in this way Ebenezer do
women again and again make themselves parties 10 wa,
anu "eAedness In their hearts, to be sure they dnn,,
mean it, They'll faint some of EN- 10 sec en-, sa
1u' men review only shows the ppery OF war-wbou,
S S; me musies beautiful. aud there's call then
But let me back-Tye wandered Io,a v,
'he siege OF Numsku Just let you see the bc,o,. Of
war. "el the Mayor, and his wife and daughter, arc
All embracing one another in the bedroom when han,
comes another shell and blows away M,ria and Ionir
young pretty things, that did harm to mo
n ne heA' word. tang-oang-fall the shes Crash goes
o mouse, ana the Mayor and his wife md three dnnsb
'ers scramble down stairs and hide in the celler,
VOW Mr. Mayor was great man for war and nil II. /
glory, fes when full OF his best port he would Give he
r. speedy war end soon!" And wherefore,
ne purple faced old knew nothing of war bu, IL %
sue hGeU. The Tegmenta ban5 the flies and I,,rns
"auS MN ee' as strong as Samson-bIt then he'd never
lad oonoshe.ls dropped through his house and his hell
e's ehdrcn slaughtered under his eyes How very ds,
my uoes ne now-squatted low, like toadstool ip his
OF war; How does he g,oap and shake ard
u ms misery tear his gray har-as he hears the hell of
v roaring about him-and listens 20 the veil. and sho,,
!. me, uAe devils escaped from the burning rt to work
restriction! And now-bang-banR-his house ia h,rs, |
,pen-ha the regiment OF the Pennsylvana rifles aocL in
mage filageis the cry-they from room to room
hey descend into the cearhty in pipes and bos
ieAds-hey seize the Mayors three Rhters-and tcoad
ie ever have thoughtl) he gratolu that M,rn na
louisa in sudden DEATH met a better fate We'll The noo
mayor makes rash AZ OF the heroes when his bran.
we knocked out by the buend OF the musket and the
glory continues.
But know your answer to this You say. we can me- |
eF suffer all this. The raseay enemy cant come n, |
urskull 10 do this wickedness-we are safe! Nhy
Ou stony hearted rufhsn-forgve me, Tor a minute Ebe
o|e-E inc arocy any the less because you don't suf
ern Is n bit better because send ont men IN do
VI this and endure Of the honor yourseif1 RnI 40
49, boenezer-you and such noodles Us YOU roar about
ne Clones OF war; because you've only seen n review
ave only looked upon the fine glossy skin of the tiger
nd have never felt ts teeth claws True il il vo,
aid taxes; and certainly il thought bad enonob -, hS
inc pocket but. after oil, tits quite bad as TO bleed
ousel or see your wife children bleeding on the bay
net PuTsesrings delicate; but some how or other
carry IL.
And therefore, Ebenezer let me hear m r,o,. Of ,
ocka-doode doc ing about the spendor of war and the
randeur OF the militia. IL you punish your fell
'w creatures, srnt grocer and general dealer and
ant you be satisfied ,
There's ,hoTi.weght adul,era,iop n,ssin, of L.a $50
eyhiy ways Tor to delight the Devil with; but don't
eai MN 10 the morsel OF all that he best oyes-war-
'eked' stupid war And with this your best friend
JUNIPER HEDGEHOG, Cabman.