Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1846-09-24
From tho st. Louis Revoillc
CATCHING A GREEN ONE.

|
mand for girls in the West. and many ardent young
men are eager to throw themselves into the arms
of b. auty-on certain condltiOns-ilat it is youth
fnl beauty. Sally Clintoc, one Of these old maids
we speak of. had certain share of beauty, but it
could moi well be called young and tender, unless
you can call thirty tender age; but with her in
crease of the first o. true love burning ont, they
increased in strength, until, with the aid Of her
mother, Sally resolved to have husband, If she
| had 10 trap him with fish net. Ben. Ellis was the
gudgeon Sally fixed her eyes upon, for the very
reason it would appear, that he opposite to her
| in general character, and in years in PARTICULAR
lie younT, and, moreover, TENDER and, besides,
partook strongly of verdant hue, even to down
right greennesS in his PERCEPTION Of all things, ev
! en- to women; while, on the contrary, Sally had
grown into a knowing broiCn, and "knew all things
with learned spirit" even to the catching of Il
| green one"
Many efforts were made by Sally to attract Ben's
attention. but his hashlulness was bar to these
tender essays; and if she succeeded at church, on
Sunday, to catch his eye for moment, it was III
vain she watched through the whole service for
second glance-t was not to be had. She seated
herself IN the pew before him, but all to purpose
he manifested an obstinate adherence to his diff
dent manner, until at length she determined to
" carry the war into Africa" the politicians say,
and rcsouely entered the same pew he occupied
and set herself right bang up against him.
Ben turned pale, quiVered slightly, and although
brought up all standing, succeeded IN regaining his
breath after the shock, but look at her he wouldn't
In vain she held the hymn book at him -frutless
was her marGuvre Of gong upon her knees during
prayer, and directly fronting hlm he stolidly fix
ed his eyes on stripe IN his pGntaloons, aud re-
fused to see the full blown chains before him.
Sally noted his Indifference, and grew despe ate
Ben noticed her shawl trembe, aud he become af
ficted with a slight ague too. Matters were COM
ing to IA crisis, and soon they banged in collision,
for at the very moment Ben was preparing to jump
into the next pew, Sally dropped right over upon
him in well executed falnting fit. The poor iel.
low came nigh falling out of his boots, he was so
frightened; but Selling her with show of cour-
age, he held her up while the women Piled her with
their salts bottles.
After few preliminary sneezes she revived, and
salts, of whose properties we have great faith had
effected another cure. The dro ping flower which
hung upon our hero now, in voice soft as the
breathlngs Of any instrument you like, impored
Ben To take her home TO her md-how could he re-
fuse ?-he coudn't! Raising her form, which some
writer's would call fragile, but which |, who wish
to be particular, state weighing about one hun
dred and scventyfive pounds, Ben conducted her
from the sanctuary; and by this ,reuk act of his
head, which was aided by all the strength Of his
body, he "put has foot in H!'
When they arrived at the maternal mansion, Ben
was about to nodesiy take his leave, but Sally
come the ialnting manGuvre over him again, and he
was forced TO carry her in to her ma, where she
went through another revving process but as her
eyes became lighted by consciousness they lii on
Ben, and off she went again, to his infinite terror.
"What have you bin dom to the gal?" scream
ed Mrs. Clntoc, fastening the door at the same
tine. and seized the longs
" | aint bin dom nuthn,o says Ben, "cept help
in her home from meetin' whar she tux sick"
what ais you, Sally, my darter:" inquired the
old lady in sympathetic whine; has this fellar
hIu triflin' with fpplin'S INV dnor ~
mo, aint teched herr" shouted Ben.
"Oh Benny, BeLny," murmured Sally, you
know you have, you deceiver! Hewitt you got my
feelih's in your power so | can't du nuhu with
ZEN, and when you know'd loved you so | could
mt do 'thout you, then didn't you perss, in not
lOokin' at me, till nted?-you knotO you did,
"Ill swar," says Ben, that neer tecled her
feellns', and more'n that, don't want to- reck
on that'll satisfy you, and now Pm goin'," saying
which he moved for the door
"No you DON'T" said Saly's ma "you aint go
in TO rlAe with my gals fcelins in that way and
then clar out and leave F." and Selling Ben by
the collar, she snatched hitl back from the door
with one hand, while she shook the tongs over his
head with the other, Sally all the time sobbing
symphony, broken now and then with the exclana-
uon Of" Oh, you cruel creature
"When you have been ucting this way With the
gal, said Mrs. c. why don't you behave like gen
telnan, and gin yourself up 10 her as decent hus
round the settlement year arter year lookn' at the
gals and aggravarn' thur feelin's and never giltn
married to none on 'em. Consarn our pcturs, you
shnn't do it with my gal, so ihar's an end on it
Sally's bin wa'tin' for you long enough, gin III
at onsi'
"What in the yearth do you want me to do ?"-
inquired Ben.
"Pronse to marry the gal rite strait, or you'll
ketch it," said the angry mama, brandIshing her
longs
Ben looked at the daughter as if taking in her
Dimensions she was oerable for THIRTY, and he
though, she might be induced-then lakn' step
towards her, he gently placed his hand upon her
arm, took Il mother look at the old lady and her big
tongs. and-"gin an !"
"l'll hev you Sally" says Ben, " if you will only
quit weepn.' Just stop cryin' now, and don't say
nuhen more about my decevin' on yJu cause |
didn't, and you can hev me whenever you can get
me-"
This declaration set Sally smiling through her
tears, like willow who had received a second offer,
ard jumping up she threw her arms round Beus
| neck, and encouraged his baslfuness by bestow-
ing Upon him fond kiss. He wished to leave now
tor home, but two full grown men, cousins Of Sal
ly, either by accident or invitation dropped in
visit and hearing how matters stood, proposed for
the fun of the thing to have the narriage straight
way sulemnlzed. Ben was about to object, but the
cuu old ma and ton4s made the odds 10 strong
against him, that like muffin, he suffered himself
10 be led TO the sac ifc'.
! he S lulrc Of Linville was called in, the knot
lied, the bride kissed by the magistrate and then
the faulty attended prayers and retired for the night.
We would fam stop here, but we are recording
tn Lnnville history It is our duty to untllnching
" relate the terminlton Of this match. Early the
next morning, Ben went 10 his own home packed
up his dnds, pocketed his spare change, and before
the morning sun shed lis golden beans over the
Howe be- gemmed prairics OF the West he was far
on The way towards the Santa Fe trace leaving hs
bride to go to grass or any other kind Of widow
! hood.
J To friend whom he afterwards met in Mexico,
he remarked that lie had become fully convinced
that sally had designs upon him and hoped 10 nuke
ann husband under false pretences. Sally per-
ssts wearing black for Ben, because, she says 1t
| a. h.corntnU In hpr cntorJeq;os,