Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1846-04-30

CtuV"tdiiys VI CouTSe) hect neIS ana then-l
oh linked sweetness long drawn out, isn't
touch TO it > and the most brilliant exploits
of military strategy are completely dimmed
by this species of female maneuvering which
a lawyer would announce to be clear case
Of obtaining kiss under false pretences.-j
This is just the way they coax, bewilder,
and bother, and if they can't in this manner,
they make their next attempt as Drivers.'
Sam Slick says, The men hold the reins
but the women tell them how to drive :. and
Theoretically and practically, such is the fact.
A woman will coax. entreat and anguish, SO
long as she can, and the men show dispo-
sition to comply; but let these weapons fail,
and presto changed She comes out per-
feet tyrant; scolds and berates us, if we are
only securing , boxes our ears or smacks
our mouths, if we are engaged; and lectures,
scratches and humps us if we're married. p
One who is a subject for 'drivipg' stands no
chance at all. Every effort which he makes
to ex,rca,e himself only plunges him deeper
in the difficulty, aud fnally at one start he
finishes the matter forever, and we see him
safely secured like big catfish with string
through his gilIs. Did you ever remark
juvenile pussy after she has achieved the
conquest of poor insignificant mouse, how
she hits il a pat and sends it here, then to
balance matters gives it another and sends il
there; how she shakes, cuffs and knocks it
about, until i; is almost breaihless, and then,
should IL endeavor to escape. puts her paw on
II triumphantly and seems 10 say: You run
away: if you dare p If so, then you have
some slight idea of the situation of poor
fellow who is good subject for sdrivine.'-
tie gets hit here, which sends him bang
into a tea-partv then whack comes another,
which sends him clear into the middle of
next week, at picnic party; and whip
comes toss up into the air and he alights on
his feet al fashionable ball And one-haIf
OF the time the unfortunate man is uncon-
sclous of his mal-treatment; thinks il all
nice; that he is doing the agreeable, and
making all !hese arrangements himself; when,
IN TACT, the whole affair is managed by the la
dy to snit herself; and yet she has the address
To make him believe that he is the author
and he stands like a calf about 10 be led
to the slaughter, while his enemies are getting
the dripping pan aud basting spoon ready for
his roasting, and he is at this moment being
regularly dune brown.'-Ne see occasionally
III The newspaper accounts of marriages which
lake place 'aler fifty years. courtship,' and
every one is shocked TO think of the grea,
waste which has taken place when an expe-
ditlous 'drlver' would have brought the wooer
up to the popping point Immediately, if not
sooner The matter is very simple Five
or SIX hints of the superior attractions of MIR.
SWi'ii, or Mr. Rrnwn, will, an occasional oo-
ing to church with one or the other. or both
and then softness of voice and sor, Of
'Don't speak-to-me-but-go- rieht-awav-and
-pa'-atveness,' in his presence will
soon bring affairs TO a crisis. II is ali very
NICE Tor beau to have no rival, ont it is some
times The source Of great representation,
when one or two appearances of some good
looking man with whiskers, would have shar-
pened up the ideas Of the tagging admirer
wonderfully, and he would have been in great
haste to have married his inamorata for fear
some body else would get her. 1t is said THAT
there are other ways Of driving which are not
SO pleasant, but as the present generation has
been made very well acquainted with some of
the ways 1t is done. ii is thought hardly ne
cessary to discuss the matter here; yet those
VINO wish to study this branch Of science are
referred TO the melancholy variations of The
patent and The long suffering Job Caudle
But TO change the sad picture, suppose that
IN. conclusion we say a word or two of sWor-
riers.'
When man can't be led, he must be dr-
ven, and when man can't be driven he must
he worried. There's smile when he's will
l'ng, irown when he's sullen, and scold-
ing when he's stubborn. The fact has been
long ascertained that teasing is the most de-
iIgh'iul thing that woman can do; it is So
easy, so pleasant, and puts her in such an
amlable state of mind. Just let her pc, fair
game, an old bachelor for example, and
don't she worry FIRST one way and then the
other. Now il is, why don't you get mar
rIed, Mr.. Simpkins Pm sure you're old e.
nough. And then, oh who'd have such as
dried up specimen as you are Or If it
should he a coquette, with some i'll used VIC
tim dangling after her, looking as thin as
fishing rod, as lugubrious as a sick monkey :;
signing like bellows and grooming like dry
cari-wheel: then if she does not care about
driving hun TO exremities. but prefers 10 wor-
ry him for The fun Of the thing, what happy
opportunity to exercise this amnable charac-
ieristic She goes with him to ball and dan
ces all the evening with Mr. johnson; she
engages to go with him on the next sabbath
evening 10 hear The Rev. DR.. Poundtext preach.
and before she reaches the house, she is off
with Mr.. Jenkins; he visits her and finds her
so much entertained with the conversation of
| MIR. Jones that she does not look at him all
the evening and all this time, the unfor,u-
nate wight views the whole proceeding in
much the same light as little dog looks at
| a big one when the big one runs away with
the little ones bone sgrins horribly ghashy
smile > tries TO make believe il is good Joke.
a very good joke, while all the time rage is
gnawing at his heart, and every circumstance
portends that there will shortly be a grand
blow up Positively it is shame that they
worry the men So; and yet some people say