The Columbian fountain., 1846-10-21

Ill he accepted situation as Inspector OF the
Customs at small port Of entry IN Connec,i
cut. There was llule business doing Al this
place, and foreign arrival was quite an affair
Of moment; so Ezekiel Uhat was our friends
Christian name,l \ used 10 spend his days In
fishing off wharf, and looking out for strange
sails in the ofiing. One day. "a long. low. black
schooner ran into pert, dropped anchor, iurled
her sails. squared her yards, and made all
snug aloft and below. Ezekiel momenlarily ex-
peeled that her Captain would send her boat
ashore with his .'manifest" for the Custom
House, as in duty bound but hour after hour
passed away without any transaction he be-
gan to be alarmed and suspicious. Determin-
ing 10 sift the matter to the bottom, he rolled
up his fishing line jumped into boat and pull
led off for the schooner, which he boarded
man was pacing the deck TO and fro with an
abstracted air.
'Cap'n, sir p said Zekiei.
'Yes,' was the gruf answer, which didnol
interrupt the promenade.
well, Cap'n, am the Custom House Off
cer'
'Oh, you are, are your
Yes said >Zekiel, 'and wantyour mani
fest
Go to thunder
And with that The captain resumed his
march. Ezekiel followed close upon his heels.
and looking over his shoulder in amazement.
Here was decided fix Such case was
hardly in the books, and poor Zekiel was near
| ly at his wits end.
Look here, cap'n,' said he al last, 'whal
are you goin' 10 do about il2 Ef you don't
want TO have no trouble out on it, jest advise
you as friend 10 gin me that ere manifest
about as quick as you kin, and won't mention
il tu livin' soul But if you DON'T
well sir. what then p roared the captain,
in voice of thunder.
'Why then,' said Ezekiel, stepping back to
the bulwarks, Il shall have to report you to the
Collector
We should be sorry to soil our paper with
the laundering anathemas levelled by the skip
per at our friends head. He was over the
ships side in one minute, and the next was
pulling with might and main. The moment
his keel touched, he leaped on the shore like
a lac, and locomoted for the Custom
HI
'Here, Mr.. Collector he bawled out 'come
right away along with me--yon are wanted.
Here's the very deuce to pay. Here's an. out
landish craft in our harbor, and the cap'n has
been as saucy as woodsawyer's clerk on halt
pay, to me-and been callin' of me names
and won't give me his manifest-consarn
his ugly pictur'p
The Collector started off post haste. Ar
rived at the wharf, Ezekiel pointed out the cause
OF his alarm.
why bless your soul, Mr.. ---, said the
Collector, that's the revenue cutter--its sent
here to watch You.'
Zekiel sloped-the story got afoat. and in
the 'diggins' where il happened there is not. to
this day, more fertile source OF merriment.
Ezekiel did not remain long in the service, and
he is sure to turn all sorts Of colors now, when
any one asks him, how il was about his boar
ding that revenue cutter
A BRIGHT Boy. A teacher had been ex-
planning TO his class the points of The compass.
and all were drawn up in front towards the
north.
"Now what is before you John?"
"The north, sir"
g And what behind, you Tommy
"My coat tail sir" said he, trying at the
same time to geta glimpse at il.
Two darkies passing down the turnpike the
other day as a train OF cars was crossing the
bridge. one exclaimed,
Didn't take dem cars long to come from
whar they did,
mo, nigger,' replied the other, but why
can't you say from whar dey wasp
A Boston paper describes some railroad cars
as "quite long and capable of holding 60 pas.
sengers with doors at each end"
We never knew man having a door at each
end, but we know enough with TWO FACES.
=. One moment! what effect it pronounces
hpon years! One moment! virtue, glory
| crime, shame. Wo, rapture, rest upon It'll
Deathetself is but moment, yet eternity is its
successor.
Among the millions of bad Wellersm, there
used to be now and then, decidedly good one
We came across one OF these, yesterday, in an
old almanac
Strike, but hear me- as the bell said to the
clapper.
The Phil. Chronicle asks
What is the matter with the State House
clockp FE. a
Perhaps like the State itself, il has been 60
ing too long upon the tick.
l. ... --~~~----~~~~--~~-~~-- .@.
| Il rise for> information said member Of {
legislative body.
| Il hope you will obtain it, said by stand
er, 'for no man needs il more
|