Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1846-10-08
MISCELLANEOUS.
A B1cKwARD COW RlpE.

During the Revolutionary War. when /
a corpsof The A merican army were en-.
camped near The borough 81 Elizabeth
Town. New Jersey, an officer who was
more Of tdevotee Of Venus than Of Mars.
paid Lily addresses 10 alady OF distinction,
whom be was 10 the habit OF visiting
nightly, 10 the cultivation Of the kindly
feelings which love so cordially inspires.
On discovery Of the repeated absence
Of the officer, and Of The place where 10 !
terviews with bis dulcinea were had, some
waggish friends resolved TO play of a
handsome trick al his expease. which
should deter him from a repetition 81 bis
amorous visits. 1.
The officer, il appears, rode verysmsll
horse 81 the pony lind which he ALWAYS
lai united with The bride reins over bis
neck, near The door. in order 10 nnouni az
ride off without delay. when the business
Of counting and kissing was over; and The
horse al waysIemaiued until backed BIZ the
owner, without attempting TO change His
positions On certain very dark night,
when the officer had, as usual, gone 10
pay his despiions to the object Of bis Ar
feclions and was enjoying The approving
smiles Of Tie lovely fair one, his waggish
companions went privately TO the door Of
the house where the officer was, took hi,
bride and saddle from the horse which
they sens away. placed the bride on The
tail. the saddle on the back, and the crup-
per over the horns of quiet old COW
who stood peaceably chewing her cud
near thei spot. Immediately thereafter,
they retifed some distance from the house.
apd. Separating. raised the loud cry Of a
farm, thai The enemy bad landed and we're
marching into the village.
Our hero on hearing this took counsel
from bis Ieprs, and snatching has,y kiss,
he shot ont Of the door with the velocity
Of musket bali and mounted into The
saddle, With bis back towards the head Of
the COW, and ,plunging his sharp spurs
keenly inieher sides. caused her 10 bawl
out with excessive pain, and she darted
of in her best gallop towards The camp
The officsrsstill plying bis spurs with all 1
his wine and love on board finding him
self hurried rapidly backwards, maugre.
all his efforts TO advance. and hearing lhe
repeated Rawlings of the tortured beas..
imagined that be was carried off BY ma
gic. and rpkring out most Justify that the.
devil bad sol him-and was thus carried
into the very centre oitbe camp.
The sentinels hearing the noise, DIS
charged their pieces and fed and alarm
guns were fied--ihe drums beat 10 arms.
the officers left their quarters and cried,
turn out out II with all the strength oil
their lungs The soldiers started from
their sleep u II . ghost bad crossed their
dream-and The whole body rus ming, hall
baked, formed as qhick as possible 10 GAL
lant dishabille, prepared 10 repsl the Ter.
fible invader.
When loa the lu1icrous> sirht soon pre.
ssnted Itself to their eyes. Of the gallant
officer. mconted on a COW, With bis lace
toWafds BET tail Her tongue banging
out--her tides cory with The gougine OF
the spurs md be- himself almost depri-
yed Of reason, and half peirifed with
horror. A loud roar Of laughter broke
from the Assembled band, at The rider
and bis steed-the whole corps gave him
three timssEihree hearty cheers as be bolt
ed into camp. He was carried to bis quar-.
ters in triumph. there 10 dresm Of lovers
netsmorphbses, backward rides s,ernwsy
advances, Ind alarm Of invasion. and
thereby FOL earnish his mind with materials
for writing splendid treatise on The novel
adventures Of COW story.