The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1846-05-16
DIALoCuE ON THE TAx LAW.


DIALOGUE ON THE TAX LAW.
Il tchfg assessor on duty-on old ,coman driving
mp her sbtep, lambs, geese, turkeys and ctick-
ens-a boy backs a pig up against stump and
Is examining his teeth 10 ascertain its age-tohen
the Joiiosoing dialogue tnsues
Assessor. That's right Mrs. w. drive them
up here; what fine lot Of personality is here this
will assist greatly in raising thefunds to pay of the
salaries Of the new office holders and the increased
pay of the old ones, Zounds, madam, this sight
would make friend Kelley cknckle--briDg them
along, ! must put them down.
Mrs w. S-h cav s-h-e-w 60 on, we've come
to it atast here's chicken tax for you; wen soon
be taxed as much as the British; but it appears to
me there must be some mistake about this new tax
law: Think you're leetle ahead of your business
Mr. Assessor, for my husband said that most all our
whig lawyers, doctors, and edetms tell'ed him as
how geese, turkeys, chickens, and sich things
WASN'T taxed under this law, and that It wouldn't
raise the taxes any but would only 'equaize them;'
how's thiss may be you know more than other peo-
pie, sir, 9,.
law commands me to do--it's language is impera-
tive. Ga
Mrs. W. All, surely! but don't the law say
that all animals not specified are exempt? !
guess you'd better pull down your specks, MIR. AS
SCISSOR.
| A. Don't get angry madam. 7 see you don't
understand the grammar nor the dictionary neither,
or you wouldn't call geese, turkeys, and chickens.
animals; you ought TO know that this law was made
by the congregated intelligence of the State, and
its provisions are plain and grammatical;yery much
30 indeed. Mrs. w.
Mrs w. Grammar and Dictionary, eh! No
don't, but begin to understand that your preach
ing about retrenchment and reform is miserable
hypocracy, and as for the painness Of the law, if
my boy there couldn't word section better than
the llth section on property exempt from taxa
tion,' I'd whip his tarnation back for him-you're
purty intelligent party, aintyous
| A. am sorry to see you so excited madam,
dear me! Iexpected to be insulted by all the old
women in the township, and didn't want the office
but assure you Mrs w. that the law says eve
ry thing is taxed which is not exempted, and your
poultry, wheels, reels looms, churns, ETC., are no
where exempt; therefore the rational CONCLUSION
is that they must be taxed; besides, the Legislature
to place this beyond the possibility Of doubt OF
quibbls, has made the law include everything tan
gibJe, whether animate or inanmate, or according
to Kirkham, .every thing you can hear, taste, see
feel, smell or think Off don't stare madam, our
state government must have money and you farm.
ers must pay it, assure you; and you know ouI
doctrine as Mr. Clay truly said agriculture need:
no protection. t.ri
Mrs. W. Your impudence astonishes me- II
the wings go in for such tarnal mean taxing, tell
you they will not get any more votes from this
house. Inever heard of the locus making sch mon
strous ornery laws; going in for sich abomnable
doctrine as you talk about.
A. Well, don't choose to handy words with
weak woman I'm an officer of the law, and every
thing must be listed which you possess, there's no
dodging the law; the burden Of taxation must b,
4 borne equally, or ii is oppressive So exhibit you
poultry don't choose to be chatechised any lon
ger on whig principles.
Boy Hold on mamma. we'll not have to pay
taxes for this pig any how; faint six months old b,
jings that's good aint it? looked at histecth. Gt
it little grunter, you're clear this time. Mr. As
SCISSOR, if dad was at home he'd lick you like thun
der, and if you get nam much madder she III do i
herself; so you'd better leave th, erritory hurral
for Tod and $40, by crout; well we wont be an.
thing else than demmycydts.
l Mrs w. Yes, this is party exhibition OF intel
ligence and retrenchment; but hold on Mr. Asses
sor, YOU said that the taxes should be borne equal
iy and so on; now that sounds nice; but pray lei
me why the bankers are not taxed, and why didn
you send around to us to see If we were willing L
be taxed, like you did to them; and what will IN
extra session of county Auditors which has beer
4 called to explain this intelligent and grammatica
law cost, and also give me the probable cost to tn
State which will accrue in carrying out to the let
ter this mouse owl OF federalism.
A. Go to the house, I'll answer no more o
your impertinent and nonsensical questions
you have no more property to exhibitI'll leav'
you in disgust but be careful that the next assessor
who will he here soon, don't tax your apple, peach
plum and all other fruit trees, besides your shad
trees, shrubbery and ornamental bushes; he'll pu
you through the second heat on full swell tel
you.
Mrs. w. Let him come-I'l III read the law--but
dear sir don't get angry yourself, after your grea
sermon to me; and have heard that its hard
cool babboon's blood.
A. Curse these women; I'd rather talk ID a dc
zen men than one old woman. But we wings ha
the power, and made the law; it must be executed
but III be darned if don't believe it'll beat u
next fall and elect Tod, pot metal and all
tF HoI,,,ps C01i,lta Farmer