The Columbian fountain., 1846-02-07

skinned bear or whipped wild cat, but
/ went it. eat the whole in about two
minits.
"Wal, in about quarter of an hour
began to feel kinder gripey about here,''
continued Ethan, pointing to the lower
parts Of his stomach, I" an kept on feelin'
no better very fast, till at last it seemed
I'd got steam ingine sawin' shingles in
me. sot down on cheer an bent my
self up like nut-cracker, thinkin I'd grin
an bear it; but couldn't set still, twist
ed and squirmed about like an angle worm
on hooe, till at last the chap as gin me
the cream, who had been lookin' on snick-
erin says to me, "Mister," says he, "what
ails yer!'
:sAils me, says /, 8" that ere darn'd stuff
Of. your'n is freezin up my daylights,"
says |. a
81 reckon you have taken too much,"
said he.
Z" tell yer didn't screamed |, know
what's a'nuf an what's too much without
askin' you, an if you don't leave off snck-
erin I'll spile yer face.
He cottonned right doun, an said he
didn't mean any hurt, am asked me if
hadn't better take some gin. | told him |
would. So took purity good horn and
left the shop.
I" Arter got out, y continued Ethan, g
felt better for mint or so, but hadn't
gone fur, afore the grieps took me agin,'
SO went into another shop an took some
more gin; then | sot doun on the State
House steps an thar sot an sot, but didn't
feel darn'd mite better. Tbegun to think
was goin' to kick the bucket, an then
thought of father an muther an of old
Spanker-that's fathers hoss-and when
| thought should never see 'em agn,
fairly blubbered. But then | happened to
look up an see dozen boys GRIMM and
larfn' at me tell yer what, it riz my dan
der that had got down below nero--rite
up agin. sprung at 'em like wild cat,
hollern' out that I'd shake their tarnal giz-
yards out, an the way the little devils
scau,pered was a caution to nobody. But
after the 'citement of the race was over, l.
felt wus agin, an couldn't help groanin'
and screeching as went along.
| AT last thought I'd 60 to the theatre,
but, afore ! got there, the gripes got SO
strong that | had to 60 behind a meetn
house and lay down an roll an holler.
After while got up am went into shop
un eat half dollars wurth of billed eys-
tiers with four picked cowcumbers, and
wound up with glass of brandy, Then
went into the theatre and seed the plays,
but felt so tarnally that couldn't see any
fun in 'em, for don't think the oysters an
the cowcumbers dun me any good. sot
down, lade down un stood up, but still it
went on gripe, grippe groaned all the
time, an once in while was obleeged to
screach kinder easy. Everybody stared at
me, and somebody called .out-ssturn him
outn' once or twice. But at last just as
the niger Othelo was goin' to put the pill
Ter on his wife's face to smother her, there
cum sich twinge through me, that rally
thought was Dustin up, an | yelled out
-'s Oh dear !--oh scissors !" SO loud that
the old theatre rung agin. Sch row you
never seed: the nigger dropped the piller,
and Deuteronoiay--or what you call her
there--his wife, jumped off the bed and
run, while every body in the the theatre
was all up in a muss, some larhng, an
some swearin' The upshot Of it was the
perlise carried me out ofthe theatre un told
me to make myself sca'ce.
Wal, as didn't feel any better, / went
into shop close by, an called for two
glasses of brandy arter swallerin it l'went
hum to the tavern. sot down by the win
der and tried to think felt better, but twas
no 60 that blessed old ingipe was still wal
loping away inside SO went out and eat
a quarters wuth more listers an' piece of
mince pie. Then | went back an told the
tavern keeper felt kinder sick, and thought
'd take some Castor lie, a mouthful of cold
meat, an strong glass of whiskey punch,
an then go to bed. He got the fxins,
which ] took an went to bed.
But, tell you what, had rather poor
night. Sometimes was awake groaning
and holeriu' un when was asleep bet !
ter bin awake, for | had sich powerful |
dreams. Sometimes thought was skin
nn' bear, un then by sum hocus-pocus
t'would all change 'toher side, too, I'm tar
nal critter would be skinnin' me.
Then agin, I'd dream that | was rolIin'
logs with the boys, an jest as I'd be shout
in out--ssnow then! here she goesp
erythng would get revarsed agin--I was
log un the boys were prying me up with
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