davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30
WHEN lAX MAN HE CALLED
DRUNK

well, Doctor, pray give us de-
iinition of what you consider being
Ton, that we may know in future
when cannie Scot may, with pro-
priety, be termed drunk
well, gentlemen said the Doc
tor, that is rather a kittlo question
to answer, for you must know there
is great diversity of opinion on the
subject. Some say that man is
sober as long as he can stand upon
his legs. An Irish friend of mine, a
lirc-cating hard-drinking captain Of
dragons, once declared to me, on
his honor as a soldier and gentle
man, that he would never allow any
friend of his to be called drunk till
ne saw him trying TO light his pipe
at the pump. And others there be,
men OF learning and responsibility
too, who are of opinion that "a man
has a right to consider himself sober
as long as he can lie flat on his back
without holding on by the ground.
For my own part, | am "A man OF
moderate opinions, and would allow
that man was fou, without being
Just so far gone as any of these,
But, with your leave, gentlemen, III
tell you a story about the Laird of
Bonnicmoon, that will be good il
lustration of what ! call being fou.
'The Laird of Bonnemoon was
fond Of his bottle--in short, lust a
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

"Do you know any person, then
out of this room to whom this watch
bclongs?' demanded Rowan.
"Out Of this room, sir ?"
"Ay,-out Of this room, sir,-
Have the goodness to look this way,
and speak to the point, SIR"
"No, sir-ccrtainiy, sir-L don't
know any person out of this room,
sir, to whom the watch belongs"
''Very well, sir; now 90 and serve
the mutton up. Well upon my hon
or, now this is mighty comical,"
continued Rowan, as soon as the
landlord had left the room.-s.Here
is watch belonging to no person
IN the room-not even to the person
from whose hands | received it.
Well, must keep it, | suppose, I'M
til some claimant starts up. In
case You hear of any such person,
gentlemen, there's my card, (throw-
ing II upon t4c table, Upon my
word, mighty handsome watch
a repeater too! Letme sce-ay, Just
fourteen minutes forty-liyc seconds
past iivc-the very time to attack a
shoulder Of Welch mutton-ha, la,
ha! Good morning, gentlemen, good
morning. fau see / Aa0w ashat
time q day II is," and with this,
Rowan left them. "The watch"
says my informer, "stiil remains
IN possession Of the Rowan fam
ily." I'D. .4, ........ ........
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30
AGTIs ACTION.
Attraction is curious power,
That none car understand

Attraction is curious power,
That none car understand;
Its iuilucn e Is every where
Ia water, air, aud land
II keeps the earth compact aud tight,
\. though strong bolts " here Il ugh it ;
And what i more mysterlousycl,
You throw sthuc up ~ the air,
And down It colnrs--ker whncA.
The centrifugal casts il up
The cenulpethI-back
NV ewes can't discover how
One object tracts anothes;
Unlrs, they love each other, like
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30
----7=-==7--=-
Origs,,G s Il,c ESrnirirs.

In lately passing through the prai-
RE country we were at some pains
in searching for geological facts by
which to account for the formation
of these vast level plains and their
dcstitution of timber. The result
has satisfied US that they were once
covered with water, either the bot
toms Of lakes, running streams, or
in the same manner Of the cver-
gladcs of Florida. The upper stra-
tum is loose and Of dark loan, such
as forms the bottoms oflakcs or liv-
ers OF contiguous marshes; thcncXt
is sand, clay and pebbles Of large
size, bearing evident signs Of hav.
ing been rolled about by the action
Of water, and deposited in their pre-
sent position by the same agency.
Large numbers Of fossil shells, oil
ircsh-watcr formation, are found in
every direction and stratum. Be-
sides these, large giraffe blocks OF
granite, sometimes many feet in en-
cumlcrencc and many tons III weight,
and other transported fragments are
TO be met with scattered over all
the southern shores OF the lakes,
wherever tac superficial sand and
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30
STRENGTH If the Human Frame

Htrcn@h II the Human Frame.
One Of the most remarkable and
ncXpllcabie experiments relative to
the strength of the human frame is,
that in which a heavy man may be
raised with the greatest facility
when he is a little up the instant that
his own lungs and those Of the per-
sons who raise him are inflated with
air. The heaviest person in the par
ty lies down upon two chairs his legs
being supported by the one and his
back by the other. Four persons,
one at each leg and one at each
shoulder, then try to raise him, and
find his dead weight TO be very
great, from the difficulty they cxpe-
riencc in supporting him. When he
is replaced in the chair, each of the
four persons take hold Of his body as
before, and the person to be lifted
gives two signals by clapping his
hands. AT the first signal he him
self and his four lifters begin to draw
a long full breath, and when the in
halatlon is completed orthe lungs
filled, the second signal is given for
raising the person from the chair,
10 his own surprise and that Of nis
bearers, he rises with the greatest
facility, as if he were no heavier than
ieather-Sometimcs, wncn one OF
the bearers performs His part i'll, by
making the inhanng ont OF time, TIC
part Of the body whjGh he tries to
raise is left bchindY Tho experiment
was performed at Venice BY sustain
ing the heaviest man Of the party on
the points of Tie iorcGngors of sis
personS..--it is asserted that the cX-
pertinent will not succeed ii the
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

QHotnt Idea IF Pleasure IN Hca-
Taylor, speaking of
the widow of a blacksmith who was
constantly laboring TO procure tho
necessaries of life, thus beautifully
but quantity portrays her character:
"Ihus she lived, poor, patient and
resigned. Her heart was a passion,
flower, bearing within it the CROWN
OF thons and the cross of Christ.
Hcridcas were few and simple. She
rejected the doctrine that It was the
place OF constant activity, and not
of reposc, and believed that when
she at length reached it, she should
work no more, hit SIT ai,cays ina
c(edn whife dprOn, and sing psalms"
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

person to be lifted is placed upon a
board ; and the strength of the indi-
viduals applied to the board.-.7bri-
ged Jrom Sir d. BrcICster'S .Natu-
rak Marie.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

-, "Iie 7alhs Tcry Ro,ionak"-
Speaking of temperance, By the by,
calls to mind this little circumstance.
mentioned to us the other night by a
pleasant friend. a man residing in
New England town, at some dis
lance IRON near relative, received
a message one cold evening in No
vcmbcr to hasten to his residence as
he was in dying state. When he
arrived, lie was a little better, but
his reason had entirely left him.
Inc SICK man presently turned his
mead saying, in faint voice, who
IS that +" was informed that it was
ms rcl3'lve who had been sent for.
T'Ol'+ an ? said he; 'yes-oh, yes!
lie must be a-cold. Make him a
good warm toddy-ycs, toddy,
toddy.' -
Il guess he amt crazy said his
visitor to the friends standing around,
ne talks rery rati0nai'
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

TuNE-"W goldman spare that Tree"
When bu; little boy
10 Cow Brook School went,
First Webster was my Joy,
Then D,bpld my intent:
Murray went clean through
And learnt his rules by heart,
AMI read 10 the "Preceptuf" lew,
And then IN the 'Ihirl Part"
Then ucr the crusled snow.
With joyous steps Irud,
The white birch bending low
With cicies did nod,
with hand-sIed IN my hand
The hillside steep sought,
And joined the merry band,
And the way we used to ride down
hill, one arter another, over the glare
ice, and. sometimes clean smack
acrost the swamp meddcr pond at
the foot, was caution tn rail roads.
Phll-Ant'ny was our schoolmaster,
n learned man was he
In 'fithmetic he'd gone as fur
As the Double Rule of Three!
He'd studied physic tew,
And where he boarded round,
He cured worms and tizzick tew
With roots dug from the ground.
Upon the hill it stood
That schoolhousc old and warm,
With thatcGg pile of wood,
1t laughed at cold and storm.
The hill side slope in front,
How glorious in the view,
We used TO slide ful. half a mile
On slcds AMI dugouts, tew
'The boys may gwout,' says the
school master, says he, one forenoon,
'and do you go and break your etar-
nal nccks ridin' down hill in that
hogtroth and your see what you'll
ketch when | git holt on you, that's
all! Stop Come back, all on you,
come back! Is that the way to
gwout, like parcel of skecrt sheep
runnin' over one another? Where's
your manners? IIaint | told you
more'n hundred times bout that I?
Now start, one tn a time, and when
you git tn the door, turn round and
make your manners, every one on
you. sly Harrington, come right
straight back here, sir,-Your'e a
terrible smart Teller, amt you? Mcb-
byyou thought didn't sce you, when
you was pretendin' to make bow,
bump your forrad agin Reuben john
sons nose, on purpose! Jest see
how you made it bleed: don't cry
peais 'as 2ioo,t, vii he better .mtcr. it's
unless you shall be and appear before the
circui, court aforesaid, on or before ,hele
first day of the next term thereof, TO beto
holden at the court house in the town of G
Ottawa, on the 9Th day Of March, A. ID. IN
lS4G, and plead demur, except to, or an
swer the complainanls' bill Of complaint, j.
according to the rules and practice Of said he
court, the same will be taken for confess
Ell and decree made according to the ht
prayer thereof. l.. LELAND, Clerk. r
GLOVER e. Cook, soils for comp't.
Ottawa, Jan. 22. 1916.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

origin Qfhe Cap IF Libcrty.--In
former ages, old age was honorable,
caps became emblcms of honor. By
degrees it became the badge of free
dom, for none were deemed honora-
bic who were not free and when a
slave was made a freeman he had a
cap given to him, which he was per-
mitted to wear in public. The Pill
us or cap Of Liberty, was simple in
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

Hnecaote V Daniel WeJster.-
Daniel Webster had brother Eze-
KEEL, man of noble feelings, and
whoseMtellect perhaps equalled his
more Celebrated relative; but he low
ed the quiet walks of life, and con-
tented himself with the reputation
OF being an excellent, prudent man,
and sound lawyer, without irving
his fortune in the thorny path Of pol
itics. The brothers were ALWAYS
warmly attached to each other, and
the following anecdote, characteriy-
tic of their different temperaments
and habits, is told of their childhood.
Money had been given to each of
them, to so and share in the festivi-
ties and parade of the fourth of July.
when the boys returned at night,
thclr mother said.--'Well Daniel,
what did you do with your money?'
Il bought powder, and fireworks,
and cake and beer, answered he.
And what did YOU do with yours.
Ezekiel Lent it to DAM was the.
bricl rcply.-.N !. Mirror.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30

4 New Englandcr, riding in a rail-
road car, oil south west, somewhere,
seemed particularly disposed TO as
tonish the other passengers, with
tough stories about Yankcedom
At last he mentioned that one Of his
ncighborS owned an immense dairy,
and made a million ofpounds Of but
ter and a million of pounds of cheese
yearly. This story produced some
sensation, aud The Yankee perceiv-
Ing that his Neracity was in danger
ofboiug paos,iono,, appealed to
Friend rs loilowsi llv t'p
: 'Igqc, ,isn't sbk>p.2 speak e
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30
The t1,tiirr aud mis- Friends,

Sparks, the historian, in recent
lecture, related the following ancc-
dote. The satire is inimitablc. Mr..
Jefferson having submitted his
draft Of the Declaration of lndepen-
dencc, was much annoyed at the nu-
mcrous and nevcrending alterations
and amendments suggested by MEM
bcrS, and began to think they would
reduce it to a mere skeleton. He
was sitting near DR.. Franklin, who
remarked that he had long made it
4 rule to avoid if he possibly
could, becoming the craftsman of
any public body, and to this rcsolu-
ton had come, from 4 circumstance
which had attracted his observation
when he was a journcyman printer.
IN apprentice halter having served
out has time, set up for himself, and
IN doing so of course lis first step
was to select an appropriate sign
board. lie got one painted with
the following inscription:
John THOMPSON, .a -I
HALTER. ..l..
MAKES AND SELLS HATS FOR READY
MONEY"
The figure ola hat was painted be-
meath. He thought it prudent how
ever to submit this to select party
of his friends, and the filst who cxprs
Sed an opinion, thought the word
''llattcr' altogether tautologus, be-
cause it was followed by snakes
and sells hats" lie accordin Civ
struck out that word. The next
thought the words 'makcs hats"
entirely superiluous, the purchaser
caring nothing who made the hats, if
they were worth the price. SO that
clause was erased. The third
thought the announcement '.for rca
dy mony" useless, for it was not the
custom to give credit, and every
one who bought expected ,opay the
rhino. This suggestion was com
piled with, the sign board then read
John Thompson, sells hats.''-
"SeHS HotS !" said another friend
-''why who supposes that you will
give them away p That'Was also
struck out, and so the Inscription
was reduced to ''John Tliompson,n
with figure of a Hat.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30
VOL. VINO. 50.

gravel have been removed from the
rockcy strata, straight parallel fur
rows appeared ploughed in their
Smoo'h surface, running a general
southern direction, and ALWAYS nre-
serving their parallelism. The only
raShlonal mode of accounting for
these transported fragments, as no
formations of a similar nature exists
south OF the great lakes, appears to
us to be through the agency of wa
ter and ice. During the submcrp-
ence OF these vast fields, when tie
lakes must have disembogued them
selves through the Gulf of Mexico
these huge boulders were caught nm
by the ice. firmly imbeddcd in It. and
dfiuen oil by the northern blasts or
stream INT" more southern climate.
ana when the ice melted in spring
they were deposited where thew are
now found. This is to us the onlv
means OF accounting for their ap-
pearance, as well as parallel burrows
IN the rocks on the southern shores
OF the lakes. By what agency this
STATE OF affairs was changed, whether
by the upheavins OF internal gres or
their gradual filing up by the an
nual disposition of the loose denius
washed down by the stream or demo-
sited from the melting ice, it is use
less to speculate. But as the whole
OF the alluvial lands of the valley Of
the Mississippi are of comparatively
recent formation, it is not improba.
Die mat the waters Of the great lakes
washed the basis of the hills on both
sides OF the Mississippi and that the
whoio intervening space now SO fe :
tic and fruitful, was then dark
rolling stream of liquid mud. To us
1t appears that the whole west is the
richest field for the gcoIogist in the
world, and none more so than those
portions of the country lying be-
tween the lakes and the Ohio. -.Nai.
chez Free TrGder.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1846-01-30
THE DEADCOw HH00K SCHOOL.

~ PROSE AND POETRY,
By Garnet Parton Jones, b. s. H..
The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1846-05-12
FUEL FOR STEAMERS.

BuREAU OF CONSTRUCTIONS, EQorPMEsr AND REPAIR,
April "a, 1886.
CEALED PROPOSALS, endorsed "Propo.
- sails for fuel for Steamers" will be received at
this bureau until O'Clock p. M of the ls Of June
next, for furnishing and delivering at the navy-yard
at Charestown, Massachusetts, one thousand tons Of
bituminous coal and two hundred and fifty tons Of
anthracite coal; and at the navy-yard at Pensacola
Florida, two thousand tons of bitumnous coal and
seven hundred and fifty tons of anthracite coal.
The whole may be delivered as early as may suit
the contractor, but one-half Of each kind at each
yard must be delivered before the LIST September
next, and the whole before the LIST December next.
All said coal must be Of the best quality The
bltumlnous coal must be dry, clean, lump coal, "a
free as possible from sup hur, slate and other i'm.
purltles. The anthracite coal to be broken, of
proper size, and screened IL required, the fine
coal shall be separated from the lump after delivery,
| at the expense of the contractors, and the coal Of
both kinds must be in all respects to the perfect sat
lsfaction Of the respective commentaries, before it
will be accepted by them.
The offers must be made separately for each kind
Of coal, and separately for each yard and must spe-
city the district Of country and the pits from which
the coal is 10 be taken furnished. The price must
be stated for the ton Of twenty-five hundred and forty
pounds and in determining upon the offers the reIa
tive quality for steamers will be considered as
well as the price asked. Satisfactory bonds in half
the amount Of the contracts will be required, and
ten per centum Of all bills will be retained until the
contracts shall be completed, according to their
terms. In case Of failure on the part of con-
tractors to deliver the Goals within the time specified
the commandments agents at the respective places
of delivery are to be authorized to supply any def
clencles by purchase and the contractors and their
suretes are to be liable for any excess of cost over
the contract price; and the per cent reserved to
be forfeited to the use of the United States.
To be published once week for four weeks in
the blowing papers, viz: Union and Int igencer,
Washington, d.. c.; Morning Post and Daily
Times, Boston; Journal of Commerce, Morning
News, and Evening Post, New York; Pennsylva-
Man and Keystone, Philadelphia; Union, Har-
rsburg; Morning Post, Pittsburg, Pennsylvania;
Republican and Sun, Baltimore, Md; Enquirer,
Richmond, Va. April "a
The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1846-05-12
BY TIE QUEENS PATENT.

Triumphant success Of Buehan'S Hungarian Balsam
gLVe The great English remedyJor
COLDS COUGHS ASTHMA, AND CONSUMPTION
TNH Emost celebrated and infallbe remedy for
l. colds, coughs, asthma, or any form Of pumo-
nary consumption, is the Hungarian Basam OF
Life, discovered by DR.. Buchan, of London, Eng
land, tested for upwards Of seven years in Grea
Britain and on the continent of Europe, and intro
duced into the United States under the immediate
superintendence of the inventor.
DR.. Buchan is a distinguished phanthropist and
elder Of the Society of Friends and member Of the
royal college of physicians and surgeons celebrated
for his valuable discoveries in the treatment of
fuous consumption. The Hungarian Balsam is
purely vegetable compound, composed chiefly of q
Hungarian gum, of wonderful power in pulmonary
diseases.
The astonishing success of the Hungarian Basam
in the cure OF every form Of consumption, warrants
the American agent in soliciting for treatment the
worst possible cases that be found in the com.
munity-cases that seek relief in vain from any Of
the common remedies of the day, and have beer
given up by the most distinguished physicians as
confirmed and incurable. The Hungarian Basan
has cured, and will cure the most desperate Of
1t il quack nostrum, but standard English med.
iclne, Of known and established efficacy.
Every family in the United States should be sup.
piled with Buchan's Hungarian Balsam of Life, no
only to counteract the consumptve tendencies OF
the climate, but to be used as preventive medicine
IN all cases OF colds, coughs splitting of blood, pair
the side and chest irritation and soreness Of the
lungs, bronchitis, difficulty of breathing, hectic fe-
yer, night sweats, emaciation and general debility
asthma, influenza, whooping-cough, and Group
In case of actual disease of the lungs, seated
consumption, it Is the only source Of hope
Sold by Mcdonald & Smith, sole agents for the
Uni ed Kingdom, at the ltatian warehouse, Regent
street, London, in bottles and cases, for Ships hos
pitfalls, &c.
By special appointmenf-David F. Bradlee Bos-
ton Mass, sole agent for the United States and
British American provinces.
American price, 81 per bottle, with full directions
for the restoration of health. y.
Pamphlets, containing mass Of English and
American certificates and other evidence, showing
the unequalled merits of this great English remedy
may be obtained of the agents, gratis
None genuine, without the written signature Of
the American agent, on gold and bronze label, to
counterfeit which is forgery.
.4gentS-W ashington city, F. w, FULLER cor.
ner Penn. avenue and 18th street, and my dealers in
every large city and town in the United States.
Jan 27-eo3m
The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1846-05-12

The plate iron must be of the best quality of
American iron, free from blister or double edges,
cut to size, and kept raight from the shears.
The bar iron must be rolled exact; the fiat bar
square the edges. That marked as Aanch iron
must bear to be worked to a square angle, without
cracking breaking Those pieces marked II
must be forged and not rolled. All the articles con-
tanned in this advertisement must be Of the best qua
lily, subject to the usual inspection and TO be ap-
proved by the commandant Of the yard, and to be
delivered before the first day Of August next,
free from any expense to the government. Offers
must be made for each class of articles separately
including all the articles in the class and the con-
tractor will be required to furnish any additional
quantity of the articles embraced either class for
which his offer may be accepted, excepting for the
camboose iron, at the same prices and on the same
conditions, upon receiving twenty days previous
notice before the Goth fJune, l547.
Payments will be made at this office in thirty days
from the time Of delivery, upon bills properly APP
proved, reserving therefrom 10 per cent. until the
contract is completed.
VIM. B. SCOTT, Navy Agent
nFTo be published once week for four week s
in the Union and National Intelligencer, at Wash
ington; Republican Il Argus, and Sun, at BaIt.
more; Pennsylvania and Keystone, at Philadel-
phia; and two copies of the advertisement sent to
this office.
April 27-w4w