American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1846-01-19
from the Portland Transcript
ETHAN SPIKES FIRST AND LAST VISIT TO


ETHAN SPlhE'S FIRST AMI LAST WISH III
PORTLAND.
Maine is great State! There's no doubt of
it. 1t is farther "Down East'' than either of
the twenty-sx-to say nothing of Texas and
California. 1t grows larger pine timber, and
more of it; the latest hogs, the largest squashes
and the prettest girls in all creation are found
within its borders. Mane!-what other State
ever had an Aroostook war; And we'll thank
any one to show lis legislature in the whole
Union that has come up to the Oregon ques-
ton with such chivalTous disregard of the rear
ing of the British Lion, and the screaming of
the Russian Eagle Right in the very teeth
and claws of these our 'Gineral Court" has
ehalked for "Forly-nine degrees nine minutes"
NOT second less!
We have been induced to come out thus
strong by the fact that there is an effort making
10 put it down from the condition and rank
which We legitimatey hold as the crack State
No. |. In proof of this position we have
only to point the reader to the numerous para
graphs in the papers abroad in which are chro-
nlcled mammoth Hogs" Enormous Tur-
nips, "Mastadon Pumkins," sc. &C., the pro.
ducts of other States, and insultlngly challeng-
ing the world to beat them Beat them! Why
old Cumberland will give any other country
this side the Rocky Mountains three weeks
start, and grow their Hogs, Turnips, Pumpkins,
and what-n0t, into small potatoes any time
In the vegetable and animal Kingdoms we cot
ton to none.
Again, we have frequently seen anecdotes
tending to illustrate the native talent and cute
ness of the universal Yankee nation, but some
how or other the scenes are always laid in other
States, and the actors are Connecticut pedlars,
Hoosiers, Corncrackers or Suckers, just as
though we hadn't screamers-real live bosses
down here. Why, it's only the other day we
saw an exulting account headed "Oe ViTglnny
never tire" setting forth that son of the Old
Dominion swallowed swapping turtle, and
washed him down with quarts Of whiskey.-
Well, what of IT? we hav'nL got any swapping
turtles here, but if Ole Vrginny wants to try
it, lot her send on her champion with a bag
full of the varmints-and our word for It, we'll
fnc him an antagonist that will swallow two
to his one.
Speaking Of this reminds us of our old friend,
Ethan Spike, up in Oxford county. E,han's a
team altogether, and has skinned more bears
than any other man in the State-besides hold
lug q Justice of the Peaces commission. A
few years ago he was a candidate for the Legis-
lature, and during the campaign found it neces-
sary to como to Portland. 1t was his first visit
to the city, and lie saw good many strange
things and had a number of queer adventures,
all of which he afterwards related TO US. And
although it may be breach of confidence, we
will venture to let the reader have one of them
as nearly as possible ia Ethan's own language.
"Portand," said he, sis the all darndest
place ever seed. | was down there in '33, 10
see little about my goin' to the Legislator,
and such a rum time as had you never heer'd
tell on. Did / ever tell you about the ice
cream scrape had?"
in md bn
sumed--
"Wal, I'd bin down thar two or three days,
pokin' about in every hole an corner, an
thought I'D seed jist every thing thar was
to be seed. But one day towards sun-down
was going by shop in Middle street that look
ed wonderfully sick-therc was all manner OF
candy an peppelmnts an essamints an what
nots at the winders. An thin thar war signs
with goold letters on TO them, hangn' round
the door, telln' how they sold Soda, Mead,
an lce-cream thar. ] says to myself, have
heern good deal about this ERE ce-cream,
an now III be darned if won't see what
they're made on. So puts my hands into
my pockets an walked in kinder careless an
says to chap standing behind the counter
"Do yer keep any ice-creams here?"
'Yes, sir" says he, Show much III you
have7"
SIR"
The young feller's face swelled out, an he
like to hav' laughed right out, but after a
while he asked
Sid you say pint, sir?'
'Sartin' says |, but p'raps you don't retail
30 don't mind takn' quart
Wal, don't you think the Teller snorted right
out Tell yer what, it made me feel sort O.
pison, an | give him look that made him
leox sober in about mint, an when clinch-
ed my fist and looked SO at him, there Mr.
Spike favored US with most diabolical ex-
pressIon) he hauled in his horns about the
quickest, an handed me pint of the stuff as
perte as could be- Wal, tasted spunful
of it, an found it as cool as the north side of
Bethel hill in Jinooary. I'd half mind to spit
it out, but jst then | seed the confectoner
chap grinnng behind the door, which riz my
spunk. Gall smash it all, thinks |, I'll no,
let that white liver'c monkey think Pm afear-
ed-Tll eat the damned stuff if it freezes nv
in'ards. tell yer what, I'D rather skinned a
bear or whipped a Wild cat, but went it.
eat the whole in about two minits.