The Democratic pioneer. [volume] (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1845-1853, 1846-06-26

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| 60 to war.
Surg.--'Tis hard matter know, but
in seasons of war--in perlous emergen-
oles, the country expects every patriot
to DO his duty.
Nal We'll, Doctor, would be a first
rate patriot too il was able, but l aint
able. | couldn't stand ihe wear and tear
ofwar, expect to drop off with the con-
sumption one of these days, can feel my
liver is about eat up with it, and so what's
the use to take me away OF to die among
the wild Texicans. ~
Surg,--My friend, I'm really sorry for
you--- but are yon laboring under the ef-
fects Of consumption!
.ML-To be sure | am--(here he puts
his hand upon his chest, and raises an arti.
fetal cough, counteveaing symptoms Of
great palms, just examine me, Doctor, and
you'll find Pm not jokin', oh, Doctor! if
you had half the pain suffer, you'd give
me certificate quick.
Here The Surgeon approach The consump>
tive ".niiitia .uan" and eran, ipeS, and cues
tsoas him on varlous points as Joiiops;
Surg.--Well, sir, your pulse beats rapid
and indicates high fever.
.Mi--Yes, sir, but taint half so high
now as It's sometimes. Sometimes ! feel
as hot as if was in pot of bilin' water.
Surg,-How often are YOU troubled with
this fever!
Nil More or less every day, it's a
great deal worse this hot weather. How
then could stand it in Texico where they
say you can bake eggs, and other victuals
in the Sun, without either Kettle or water!
) wouldn't 60 there, for all the nggers and
land to boot, because, Doctor, could mi
stand it.
Surg - You say your liver is nearly de
stroyed with consumption, what is the stat.
your bowels?
.W.--Oh, dreadfnlly out of order, Doc
tor; l have to take two smashin' doses o
salts every day TO keep me right, and every
night when lay down I'm in horrible pain
feel as though ten thousand brick wer,
piled on the top Of me. roll oyer from
one side TO tother and never get any sleel
till after midnight Oh, Doctor Doctor
you don't know what misery suffer.
Surg.--Anythng wrong about you
J head.
(, .M.-Oh yes, Doctor; my head ain
| ha, all hr,i .
S seems to be jnggled ont of its place.
0 have sich dreadful headache, and then agi
sich dizzy fits. Why, Doctor, every morn
in when getup, these dizzy spells com
: on, and have to clnch hold of the be,
Il post, to keep from fallin' down. stay i
u the hollse and never do nothin' till ahe
! breakfast.
Surg.--Do you ever dream any durn
I the night?
s yMiL--Yes, have frightful dreams.
j. see devils and witches dancin' cotillion
e like all natur'; OH what drol capers the
d do cut up! s'pose these dreams are cause
e by my brain bein' out of order.
i lungs, YOU seem to be troubled with ba
cough, do you throw ZIP any matter!
.Wi.--Yes more than quart every day
# it sometimes almost strangle me. Oh! oil
(raising a cough)
d Surg do you raise any bloodl
!, .Wi.--Yes, a great deal.
p Surg Perhaps it proceeds from you
e nose, if yoli are subject to bleeding a til
d nose.
10 MIL No; no; Doctor, my nose neve
It bleeds, this blood comes right straight Il
n from my liver, and it's as fresh as lift wa
i taken from hog. raise il by mouthlul,
: so you see, Doc,or, can't stand it long a
I this rate, and would be nonsense 10 sen
dyln' man like me away off to fight then
y savage Spaniard niggess. III could fight
g Doctor, I would, | aint no coward b
nstur'
e Surg.-Do you have any sweats or col
II chills!
i .Mu.--Yes. have both, terrible spells
y have too. Wien get up in the mornin
e the bedClothes are as wet as il they wa
soaked in a wash tub. and then again, The
d cold chils come on, and feel as if wa
: kivered ali over with a coat of ice. Oh
i Doctori you don't know what sickly ere
! tur am; If you did, you wouldn't ask nj
r questions.
a Surg.-Your eye.sight is good, i, it not
Il .ML--Not al all, Doctor. I'm YER
near sighted. When the sun shines II daz
II zles my eyes and in clondy weather | can
see from one end OF the gun to the other
/. so you see would be OF no kind ofnse il
4. war. ID be as likels 10 sho,t the stars a
IS the Mexicsns. Don't you think so, Doc
). tor!
i SM'g.-Are any OfyOur bones disloca
a tedl