Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, 1846-02-14
From the Portland Transcript.
SPIKES FIRST AND LAST vi.
SIT TO PORTLAND.

/
SIT TO PORTLAND.
! Maine is great State! There's no doubt of
it. II is forther "Down East" than either of
the twenty.slx-to say nothing of Texas and
California. It grows larger pine timber, and
more of it; the fattest hogs, the largest squashes
and the prettest girls in all creation are found
within it's borders.
Speaking Of this reminds Us Of our old friend,
Ethan Spike, up in Oxford county Ethan's
team altogether, and has skinned more bears
than any other man in the State-besides hold.
ing justice OF the Peace's commission. A
few years ago he was candidate for the lie.
glslalure, and during the campaign found it me-
cessary to come to Portland 1t was his first
visit to the city, and he saw good many
strange things and had number of queer ad.
ventures, all of which he afterwards related to
us. And although it may be breach of conf.
dence, we will venture to let the render have
one OF them as nearly as possible in Ethan's own
language.
Portland said he, is the all darndest place
I ever seed. ! was down there in '33, to see a
little about my goin' to the Legislator, and
such rum time as had you never heer'd tell
o.. Did ever tell you about the ice.cream
scrape had!
We answered in the negative, and he resu.
med
wal, I'd bin down thar two or three days.
pokn' about in every hole an corner, an thought
Id seed jist every thing thar was TO be seed.
But one day towards sundown was going by
shop in Middle street that looked wonderfully
slick-there was all manner OF candy an pc p.
permin,s an jessamns an what nots al the win.
ders. An thin thar war signs with good let.
ters on TO them, hangn' round the door, tellin'
how they sold Soda Mead, an Ice.cream thar.
| says to myself, have heern n good deal about
this ere ice.cream, an now I'll be darned if
won't see what they're made on. So puts my
hands into my pockets an walked in kinder
careless an says TO chap standing behind the
counter
DO yer keep any ce-creems here
Yes, sir, says he, how much II You haver
j considereda mint an says La pint, SIR
The young feIer's face sweled out, an he
like to hav' laughed right out, but arter while
he asked
'Did you say pint, sir
'Sartin' says !, but praps you don't retail so
don't mind takin' quart
Wal, don't you think the TELLER snor,ed right
ont. Tell yer what, it made me feel sort OPT.
son, an give him look that made him look
sober in about minit an when | clnched my
fist and look so at him, (here Mr.. Spike favored
US with most diabolcal expression) he hauled
in his horns about the quickest, an handed me
pint of the stuff perte as could be-
Wal, tasted a spoonful of it, an found it as
cool as the moth side OF Bethel hill in Jinooary.
Id half mind TO spit it out, but jist then seed
the contectloner chap GRIMM behind the door,
which rz my spunk. Gall smash it all, thinks
|, I'll not let that wlite-lvered monkey think
I'm ateard-rl eat the darned stuffis it freezes
nay inards. | tell yer what, I'D rather skinned
a bear or whopped wild cat, but went it,
eat the whole in about two mints.
'Wal in about quarter of an hour began
to feel kIuder grpey about here continued f.
than. pointing to the lower parts of his stomach
'an' kept on feelin' no better very fast, till at
las, it seemed as though Id'd got steam ingne
sawin' shingles in me. | sot down on cheer
an bent myself up like n nut-crackcr, ihinkin'
I'd grin an bear ii; but | couldn't set still.
twisted and squrmed about like an angle worm
on hook, till at last the chap as gin me the
cream, who had been lookln' on snickern' says
To me-, Mister says he 'what als yerl'
'As me ? says |, that ere darned stuff of
your'n is treezin' up my dayligh,s,' saysl
You eat too much, says he.
i tell yer didn't screamed |, 4 know what's
a'nuf an what's too mmch without askn' you,
an if you don't leave of snickern' I'll splle yer
face.
He cottoned right doun, an said he didn't
mean any hurt, an asked me if ! hadn't better
take some gin. | told him would. So took
purity good horn and left the shop.
'Arter got out, continued Ethan, 1 felt bet
ter for minnit or so but hadn't gone fur, aiore
the gripes took me agin', so went into anuther
shop an took some more gin then sm doun
on the State House steps an then sot an sot,
but didn't feel darnd mite better. begun to
think wus goin to kick the bucket, an then
thought of father and muther an of old Spank
er-that's fathers hoss- and when thought |
should never see 'em agin. fairly blubblered