The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1846-12-16
CITY OF WASHINGTON WEDNESDAY NIGHT DECEMBER l6 1916

managed 10 right between cold pate and
Daniel Webster Hot and cold; one before and the 9TH
er behind; leave you to say which turned my back
on The Dung I'm" offers 10 bet the biggest half OF
the sum OF human happiness that il icasn the pate
But TO returns after every gentleman had secured the
back OF CHAIR the great and godke was ushered in,
and on taking his seat sauted with three 'yoca
nes, which made the dishes rattle again In acknow
edgment thereof the ilustrous expounder Of the con-
siitunon very graciousy arose smiled sweety and took
his seat again, all to the time OF slow music.
This WIS the signal to commence the engagement.
"The shout
VI battle now began and mshing sound
vi onset ended soon each milder tlought'
of having anything like good time to YOURSELF All
remember was the fitting Of ombre faces and white COATS
like restless visions OF the night 10 and fro-frequen
popping OF champagne eorks-numerous calls for paies
roids, and constant demand for something that couldn't
be bad nterspersed with the dsla amount OF Dig some
body eyes During this aiifay regret 10 say my RS
cas-, the chicken pate aforesaid suffered considerably in
consequence of the gentleman sitting liz ar me- who Il APP
pears had travelled some persisting in ealing i Gal
lantlng de Dandy" which "CHEyAL" assured me was
the French for "Boned Turkey" About ten fee Iron
me a dish Of "Snipe Volane," one of which en-.
deayored 10 secue but the cook having left their tcags
on they all escaped before they reached me; two OF
them, am confident, went right down gentleman's
throat but just as was about sending some one TO his
assistance. my attention was called to gentleman with
thin voice and red face, who standing chair
asking "three cheers" Tor the ladies'. AT the same mo-
ment turning to the quarter made musical by the rustng
OF silks and sains inierspersed with feminine ejacua
lions and Websterke inienogatores as TO where they
should go'" beheld rush oil about thousand OF
''the last and best Of all Gods's works"
who were making the most unheavenly haste to get
front seat One of them having fallen was Obliged 10
submit the fate without the politeness as the
fox. hunting nobleman, who, having tumbed into the
ditch, was politely requested by his curate to lie still
while he jumped over him 1900
need hardly say, that this sudden and unlocked for
invasion, by the female forces who entered nearly an
hour before the time appointed entirely put end the
eating and drinking; for what modest man could do either
the the other where he knew that the Lord knows
how many eye glasses specially directed at him; or
who the deuce could fix his attention his plate when
forty pretty women sitting "rght in 'front.'"
anxiousy waiting TO be looked at. For my part con-
sdered II trick OF the temperance society, or
plot of the providers, and treated II accordingly As 10
the confusion that regned at this particular moment all
say OF il is ''that the paucity Of the English Ian
guage forbds my dwelling " but il is very mate
rial that you should have faint idea of it, lust 60
TO sewing society," where some spiteul old maid has
attackedhe incest young man that goes to class meet
ing-or TO infant school the day before a grand pa
radeor to the falls OF Niagara in the month OF March
or H; in short, any place where - OF muss is
being kicked up, and you will come within a mile of it,
This thing however like all Others of course had an
end and comparative state of quietude having been
obtained a very ancient and respectable gentleman
name unknown rose, and after making some very SEN
sble remarks lat least Judge so from the noise they
elcited) proposed 'drlnks all round" which was i'm
medatey acceded to by, at least gentleman of nv
acquaintance, in bumper; this gentleman's pa
triotm was SO strongly moved by the two succeeding
toass that he absolutely repeated this extraordinary feat
two consecutive tunes and credably informed that
when the Great Daniels health and other virtues were
proposed he actually seized the bottle and would have
swallowed its contents at single draugbt had he not
that it had After the customary rounds
OF applause three times three and one more had been
given and everybody had done telling everybody else
to hush, after every chair in the room had been moved
at least twice, and every adys "Lorgnee" had been
adjusted to the right focus, the distinguished defender
OF direct duties rose from his seat, and after drawing in
his eyes, and crossing his eyebrows, suddenly permitted
a smile to lumine his august countenance "Then
opened he his mouth and spake." And as he took Just
hours and IS minutes say all he had TO say pre-
he said great DEAL all of which, like Sir Patrick
pers OF the next day.
don't know thai great men care much for the opinions
OF little ones; or that any structures may choose indte
may the "interminable and lusrous speak
err the loss OF nights sleep; but really think it show
ed great want of Judgment the part of this Second
Daniel" to discourse four hours before mixed audience
par excellence, the very driest on the catalogue.
In these days OF reform and Utopan philosophers peo
pie take knowledge they do medicine, in homeopathic
doses and although tmay have been fun to Mr. W.. to his
audience it joke especially to the feminine portion
many of them having had nothing to eat since ] or
o'clock and according TO the arrangement of the commit
About o'clock, however, flesh and blood could stand it
longer and the cry for something stay their appe
es with became, SO general that the managers were
forced to succumb, and "the honorable member from
Massachusetts, obliged TO close his remarks to a
running accompaniment OF knives forks, and soup plates
Independent however, of the above inducements for
short sermon, the 'voumnous speaker should have
membered that number of other distinguished guests
were also running with patriotism, which they were
burning be rid of and in consequence of the injustice
done them, is impossible TO calculate what Of
injury the country may receive from it. But lest should
become great bore the llustrous gentleman him
self will pass to metal more attractive" and tell you
of the dinner which served by the gentlemen CON
cerned in style which reflects the highest credit on their
abilities more beautiful sight than was presented to
the eye entering the magnificent saloon OF the museum
building was never seen. Three tabes--the northern
most being raised in the centre for the purpose of
modating about twenty guestswere set throughout the
whole length of the roomcertanly two hundred feet
longand they covered with cold dishes, ornament
ed pieces buoques china, and glassware and wine All
hbum 1t splendid entertainment; but whatever
ecat may be attached to it is owing more the caterers
than the committee who arranged it; for, with all due
Difference to their superior Judgment they made great
mistake in assembling the company where they did-a
greater permitting the ladies' TO enter when they
did, and the greatest OF all in allowing the very excellent
and wellmatred plans OF their hosts to be completely
nullied. "..
All these evils, by proper management could have been
easily remedied and, practice makes perfect" pre-
sumo they will be so should the Philadelphans ever
make up their minds again to invest the extraordinary
sum OF fire dollars entertainment which should
cost them ten. As it was, it neither breakfast,
dinner supper, nor cold coaton--"neher fish, flesh,
fowl, good red herring"
Yours, GINsENGANDsooN.
PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 7, 1916 ..... ....... ..
---------------.------