Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1846-07-09
A SUCKER" IN A WARM Ra1u

Our friend Of the "Italian Baths' has lust about
the incest arrangement in the shape of a bath that
an up-rlver man can desire; but still he hasn't af
ter all got the 'aest touch" in the way of his cocks
Tahd mat we found out recently, at the St. Charles
Hotel, New Orleans. We called to see our old
acquaintance, the Irish lady, who does the towels.
&c, and who-more stretch to her girdle-resem-
pies nothing feshy, In petticoats except ii be Fa
staft disguised as the ''fat woman of Brenttord -
in the "Merry Wives" We were shown into
bathing room, and there we discovered that an en-
tire new plan of ''letting on" and s.ettnp off,, tho
water had been introduced. We saw a shining
brass plate, with three polished handles, having
a crank, turn, and elegantly lettered beneath,
'Hot, !" "Cold, - 'sWaste'
-, "Dyye understand the ~ said Mrs. Nc
lowell wv
"oh, certainly" said we-for the credit of St.
LOUIS and italian Baths.' The fat mistress of
the mysteries shut herself out; we went 10 vorl
very confidently at the handles, heard a desperate
gurghng up through the polished gratings in the
potion OF the ''tub"-prepared ourselves leisurelv
LOT the luxury, and-but we have another story to
Tell about the matter; and, that other is rather
rlcheI OF the two, we shall only say that, between
noI ana cold," we never were so cooked in our
life. After desperate struggle. HAVING m,n,o un
TO get bath on the ''Improved plan" without ex
posing our ignorance, we left the place, and
were met at the corner by rough but estimable
TREND from northern Rhinestone who has made a
fortune among the "diggings,'' and who can afford
to take ''splurge" every now and then-so he
terms his occasional visits to the large cities.
You haint bin takin' bath, heY We 20 said he
"Oh yes" was the reply.
Ia them there brass handle consarns %
Yes, said we, ga great improvement
ates the inconvenience of the noise and dash of the
old plan"
we hope that this public confession NAV prove
some atonement, but we certainly did talk to our
out laughing, and gave us his own experience of
the matter
Odd Mrs. COrnfed there" said he, .easked me
II knew the cocks and told her ives, IN course
cause had bathed few, reckon, though not
with them kind ofxins-and takes and turns 'em
all, and there was all kinds of splutter below but
when ready, there wasn't mite OF water in the
blasted thing! 1t jest naturally run out as fast as
1t run in, and then knowed what ',yaste' meant
wen, jest fuses with it fust up, and then down.
and then one side, and then t'other, till allowed
I'd shut the darned thing up, cause the tub BEGAN
TO NIL Well, tkept film and film, till reckon
ca Ii was about right, and in | went, one leo
t6,mt-holy Egypt! out | cum again, bowling -
The cussed, eternal 'cold' one hadn't worked
s'pose, and couldn't cum out wr,ss from seven
bller explosion! Old seven hundred weight knock
ed at the door; perhaps yer don't understand the
cocks q says she; Cock thunder y sunp ont
but didn't want her in to laugh at me. and
want exactly fit to be seen by lady, either. if
she was fat; so said it was nothin', and tried A.
gam to get the hang of the consumed handle
but by this time the tub was quite full. and
billn', at that, and kept turnin' and wagglin' t
ratner guess must started the cold one without
stopping the hot and as it was brmminp before
IL Just now naturally ove.-un, and pre-haps there
wasn't the darndest rise all over that Garnet in a.
bout two minutes. thai ever you did see The Gus
sea COCKS 'cou!dn't stop-aonc on 'em, and was
hnn m IN A IL
for old fatty, any how! I'd rather Gin a farm. nv
thunder, but out sung, and half opened the door
lore recollected about my costoon,e Back went
Ola 1atty against the centre table, and broke a pitch
or and h0pped on to chair and into my pants
ana then broke fol- of the opposite bathing
rooms ana locked myself in, and told the old wo-
man ia give her ten dollars if she'd swab up, hand
me my shir', and say nothin about it! / don't
Know whether she has not. but almost die a
Of ito '''"A
Il tell you what" added our sucker friend. e.I
oon,t mlnd your having a-laugh. but if YOU 90 to
Pu6llshIn' this In the Rerietie, I'll shoot you, by
goshl' ''''''
We beg to assure our friends that we consider
ourselves @ot.-St. Louis Reociie.
WHETrfNG A RizoR-A young fop. who had
Just began TO shave for beard, stepped into a bar
bers shop and after grand swagger, desired to be-
shaved. The barber went through the usual move
nnents, and Che sprig jumped up with flour
ish, exclaiming-"M Nav fine fellow, what's Your
chawge?" 40, no Charge" was the reply. s.No
chawge! How's that?" "Why, we are always
thankful when we can get soft calf skin 10 whet
our razors oni'
BEWARE OF HORSE FLEsH--An extfavagant
young gentleman having pair Of beautiful grey
horses, asked friend who happened to he of rather
serious cast, what he thought Of them.
Il II IL