The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1846-10-10
Short Patent Sermon.
BY DOW, JR.

articles offaith "without jesting or jok-
ing." Therefore, you may, perhaps,
consider the following as my creed
rather than as sermon for you.
sometimes say what isn't meant,
Without an idea of deceivin';
These too give with good intent,
And most religiously believe in.
My bearers since our "lnquirer" is
so anxious to ascertain 10 what extent
my faith is capable Of reaching, | will
ans wer laconically. to wit:
| believe, with my friend Paul Pry,
that a spirit Of inquiry is the proper
characteristic Of the age. lti certain
lly common, If not proper, to inquire as
to what our neighbors are doing, in
doors and out; and to meddle, with
matters with which we have no more
business than kitten has with ball
Of yarn.
/ believe that the most Industrious
are the most contented and happy.
ldleness is an incubus upon the bosom
of enjoyment. 1t is the hardest work
in the world to do nothing by the month,
and have nothing TO do with. To do
up business as it should be done, re-
ouires the patience and fortitude OF
frog-pond.
believe that the earth revolves, and
we are carried around with it. AS the
,o0rM goes, SO go the mass.
believe that kicking against Gus
tom, and splitting in the face OF Fashion,
J IL
may need correction--bu they must,
. and will, have their way.
| believe that if Legislation were to
: order what we should wear, what we
should eat, and what we should drink,
{ it would only make matters worse. A
. ., love of fine clothes brings distress up
u on thousands indulgence in rich
and costly vands, is often followed by
Il serious consequences; and an immoder--
) ute use of stimulating beverages is des-
e tructive 10 both soul and body: but our
u Iaw-makers have no more right to med
die with these matters, than | have to
n !. cut the corset-strings of ladies, or tear
Is their bishops fron,--[Fll take drink
of water.
| believe that if the devi, be the faith
{ er oflies, he has d-sh large fami-
), ly to look aner--and rapidly on the in
e crease.
u believe that some women are queer
:. thlngs-.,here is no living with them,
u u and they won't let you live without
:, them.
u believe that girls are like Kittens
!" gently smooth them, the right way, and
; they will rub and purr, most affection
y le ateiv; but give them contrary brush,
l. and they get their backs up in most
: disdainiul manner. They all like to be-
70 kissed, but sham delicacy about the
- y operation.
7, believe that the earth is older than
20 =, most people imagine. At any rate, it
Ir l is old enough to take care Of itself.
ol believe that every planet in the uni
n ,e verse is inhabited by intelligent beings;
u but not the suns and moons.
70 | believe that simple saltpetre, under
nc certain circumstances, will cause an
" explosion.
~ / believe that all sudden changes in
the weather are not only disagreeable
ak but unhealthy--and SO with regard to
ne the sudden changes ofnational govern
~ ment.
ess' believe that notwithstanding the
iu- efforts OF thousands 10 skull Time." he
on is still on the wing--and is likely to b
90 for many years to come.
ny believe that wife who scolds ant
!, ms i'll treats her husband is no gentleman
he and that the husband, who is foreve
- fretting and finding fault, makes an Oh
w granny OF himself.
We believe, from what have seen, tina
- many men ought to have two earthi!
me existences-on to get together hea
= Of money in, and another to enjoy it.
u'e believe that most, ifnot all, animal
us think; but man is the only ''crittur" tina
J" thinks Of a future. -.
believe that human flesh is hard I
digest. Jonah didn't sat easy upon tn
'lV- whales stomach.
be | believe that simple honesty, tn
en- naked truth, pure virtue, and straigt
up-and-down way OF dealing with tn
eve world. have as much the advantage owe
vice, trick, and stratagem, in the lon
ow run, as good square trotting horse ia
over pacing pony, or racker, tl1t
use ooes his mile on two like mischief, an
IS done for the rest Of the journey.
lee Poke over, with the cane Of consit
With Grafton, what l have emptled beioI
ba- YOU; and if you can find single graz
Of wheat among the four pecks OF chai
shall be highly gratifed. So mote
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