American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1846-11-05
From the N. q. Picayune.l
Gu RING A DYSP EPTIC.


We met few days since an eccentric &C
quantance from the North, who had come ont
here for the purpose of spending a winter in
New Orleans among some relatives Seeing
him as rugged and hearty as the best condition
ed bear, and reculeSting that when we parted
with him in New York about year ago he was
as lean as a bittern and shook like skeleton
on wires in a doctors closet, with but a trife
more flesh ON his bones, we expressed our sur
prise and pleasure at his greatly ameliorated
condition. "Well,'' said he, 81 believe | was
rather on the rail-fence principal when saw
you ast-kind Of drawed down with that infer
nal dyspepsia, but Pm all right now. The pa
nacea did it ALL
"Panacea! SwaAn's2n said we.
"He's no account Who's he? No, sir,
Doctor IS papacea did my business. It's
the greatest medicine on the face of the earth
Why, sir, after yea left, was the meanest-
looking white maa you ever did see, and fairly
ashamed to walk in the street, fol was so thin
didn't have a shadow wnen the sun shone
right fair and square unto me. went into u
shoe-store one day to buy pair of shoes and |
told the man that | wanted pair that would
last me my whole lifetime. He said he kept
good article, but he was afeared they wouldn't
last that long without heehng and tappin' unless
was goin' to commit suicide.n
IL told i'm wasn't going to do no such
foolish thing as that was just droppin' of
naturally and meltin away like tallow can
de-"
He looked at me kind o. ptifu, and says he,
"Well you do look bad! What ail's your
"Oh," says l., "Somethin' or Mothers the
matter with my internal arrangements. I've
taken up about bushel of blue pills-bought
~ Ahaoo g.. l. 10 Il oTY 1
reduced another chap'sso bad that he's refused
to sell me any more, an they amt no sort oil
account. I've got the dyspepsia bad.''
Lord" says he, brighten up, 'is that
all? Why, there's a man here next door that
can cure you right away-he buys his shoes o.
me-"
"Wel, says |, "l'll try him, )" and started
out. The next door was little shop about
nine foot and half deep-maybe twas ten
and about four foot wide-nothin' but window
and door and counter On the window was
painted "Doctor IS FANAcEA." And there
were two or three-maybe half a dozen
square bits of pasteboard with the same thing
printed on em in two or three different co.
lored inks. didn't much like the looks oil
things, but | marched in and asked for Doc.
tor -"
81 ana that individually said a red-headed
smart-looking fellow of about thirty-fiye years
who was sitting behind the counter.
Doctor" says |, GIVE got the dyspepsia
wicked, and they tell me you can cure it,
"And they say right" said he. "If anybody
can cure you, sir, can do it, sir! And If any
thing can cure you, IT'S my panacea"
"What do you ask" says |.
"Well, sir" says he, 81 will tell you what |
will do, sir-I will give you dose now. sir,
and will give you one of these bottles for four
dollars-which is in feet, sir, saving your life
for four dollars!''
"Well !" says |, "let's have it, DOCTOR" and
Ponied down the tin, He poured out kind
OF a yalleflsh mixture into wine-glass and |
tossed it of: Well, sir, couldn't speak or open
my mouth for about five Binutes-it seemed as
iii. took all the skin off my mouth and throat,
and was goin' through the same ceremony with
the Innings of my stomach. AS soon as
could get breath, says: why, doctor, you've
given me pepper SARGE or mustard and cyane
pepper, and it's burnin' of Inc all but to
DEATH - ...t.
"There is mustard in it, sir" said he "tbere
is mustard in it and after all, sir, mustard is