Bloomington herald. [volume] (Bloomington, I. T. [Iowa]) 1840-1849, 1846-03-21

Gun d. II omen cOul1 ever be frlendS
It's rather hard. with what I'm charged
for housekeeping, that mus. find The
place like fair. You didn't expect me
home asntiI Tomorrow !? Oh. no! Eise
| should have found you alone, and as
mute as mouse; and not word would
you have said TO me about the pack Of
gossips you'd had about you!
Now, Mrs. Candle. for the future jus,
remember one thing. Never think 10 ex.
pect me; for you shall never know the
exact time when / shall come home. No;
shall always take you by surprise; as
every man who'd know what his wife's
about should do.
We'll. | think may guess now where
The housekeeping money goes to! Now.
| can account for the grocer's bils-and
| can. tell what other bills besides when
| see the people you have TO eat me up.
And then when | bring home few
friends that | find aboard the steamboa.
II good fellows, know, every one of 'em;
though never saw 'em before-when
come home find my house full Of silks
and satins-a mountain of bonne,s on my
bed-and nothing fit for Christmas to 81.
down 10. And after such conduct You'll
expect me 10 keep my temper? Yes;
you'll open your eyes and af1ec. to stare
a. me, if only swear the smalles. in the
world when, if You'd married some
men, Mrs. Caudle, the house wouldn't
have held you Now, l should like to
know what my friends thought of me
last night-wha, they though. of you =
Why. of course. they looked upon me as
a fool, for putting up with your conduct
as quietly as Idid-whilss for you, but
III respect your feolings-l won't say
wha. they thought Of you.
For an hour and half, at least, did
we wait for supper-if supper, indeed you
call it; for / blushcd at every thing upon
the table. An hour and half. There
,cas nothing in the house; ererything
,oas to be got? Why. that's what |
complain Of, woman. That's The very
fault. bring home a few friends TO sup
rn-.-".,A .h,-.'~ anshins ;,, .l,a hansa
But come home, and l find you with l
don't know what cotton-box acquaintance,
and the house smelling of toast and tea
cake enough to ruin one.
Now, Mrs. Caudle, if we wish to con-
tinue happy together, understand that !
won't have II. II can't give little sup
per with friends a, my own home, I'D bes-
ter give up housekeeping altogether.
where's my hat! and gloves !! dine
out to-day
. cAUpLE BROUGHT HOME A. NEW rousDLAsD DOG,
INSISTING THAT s'THE room ANIMAL CAN'T ADD
TO THE EXPENSE. ~
oh, no! know what The objection
is, Mrs. Caudle. 1t isn't that the poor,
faithful animal will add 10 the butchers
bll-no, a bi. Of it. No; it's only be-
cause the creature is fond Of me that you
object to it. 'Tis only because Of its love
for its master-ahd i.'s we'll can get
somebody about The house tina. does love
me-,ha. you make an excuse Of the ex>
pense. You can keep your Canary bird
that's rafting away like whistle in
| hysterics-and never complain of the
expense Of that. You can keep your
half dozen gold fish. too. and do ! ever
murmur at what they cost! think not.
And ye. when bring home dog-a fine
/ fellow as high as the table-instead of adj
| miring the noble animal as any other wife
could do. you begin 10 talk about what il
will eat! But that's like you, Mrs. Cav
die; that's the rock we've always split
upon. You never had any sympathy
no. an atom. True marriage ought to
mel. two hearts into one piece. Ours
I'm sorry to say i.-have only been tack
ed together. There was. indeed, a wo.
man-bu,. saip.ed darling ! why should
l name her!
Il repeat it; if von thought Of me as
YOU ought, you'd be delighted with the
animal. A true wife would love even a
crocodile or boa constructor. if her hus-
band brought it home. Blu. my wlie's
like no other woman never was. You
don't object to the dog, If l chain II up ?
l think, Mrs. Caudle, you ought TO know
my principles little better by this time.
No. madam; liberty-though it's quite
above the female intellect to understand
lis beautiful essence-but liberty would
not deny even 10 dog. rhe poor beast
shall have the run Of the house all day,
and noble fellow-sleep at my bed toom
door all night. Ill have somebody near
me that Loves me--l'm determined!
! what are you whimpering about e
The beast sciH kill your cat ? Perhaps
| he may; and what if he does Cats are
plenty enough. / suppose. I'm sure
| ihere's more in my house than catch
mice; l know that. Not that see tht
noble fellow need kill her unless yot
choose What do nseaa? Mean