The Southern journal., 1846-04-04
From the St. Louis Reveille.
Bill Oloeum'S Last Spree
BY NEDDY KINGFIsHER.

/ BY NEDDY KINGFIsHER.
Every bocy remembers the night
Of the llth Of November, 1888, when
the stars grew weary of the monotony
attendant upon their steady habits,
and shooting wildly from their proper
spheres, got on one Of the ''tauest
sprees ever heard Of That night
forms memorable era in history OF
many one, among whom few stands
more prominent. than Bill Slocum.
He was one Of those unfortunate
beings who love liquor better than
they do their Maker; and he woald
give his last dime for ga drink"
though his family was actually suffer.
ing for the commonest necessaries Of
life. He had spent very respecta.
bic fortune in this way, and for sever
al years had almost entirely neglected
his family, leaving his wife to support
them, and himself too, as best she
could. Liqnor was his God, and he
guzzled it down whenever he had an
opportunity.
! On the llth Of November, 1888,
there was a big muster at the village
Of Redville, thing which happened
only once year, and therefore, gave
considerable importance to the afore.
said village. On such days as these
Bill Slocum was in bis glory; for as a
great deal Of liquor was always drank
on such occasions, he never failed to
gel as much as he wanted, (and that
was not 'ittle,) ':free gratis for moth
ing" Early in the morning Bill put
on his best "6xups'-and they were
"none of the best"-and of he went
to town. Long before night he was
gIoriously tipsy-that Is is say 'three
sheets in the wind and the other fut"
tering.' The liquor still continued to
pass freely, and Bill 'swigged' it with
a right good will. AT last said Bill,
Il got so drunk that could not tell
which end was uppermost, but re.
collect very we'll that the earth got to
Jumping up, and it hit me some con.
founded hard knocks just between
the eyes, one of which laid me spraw.
ling on my back
! Here glorious state of don't care.
atiueness came over him, and he lay
there like warrior that had fallen in
an uneaqual contest, while the 'big
bellied bottle'' looked out at the win.
dow. and 'grinned horribly ghastly
smile.' As Bill fell into an unfre-
quented corner, he lay undisturbed
until the stars got out upon their spree
and frightened half Of thoee who saw
them out Of their wits. The noise
which the inhabitants Of the village
made woke Bill. Raising himself up
slowly, and rubbing his eyes, he sur
veyed the scene with astonishment,
and then began to soliloquise some.
thing after this fashion.
eyes, jest as l thought! The day
Of judgment has come, sartin, for
there's the stars falling, and here
am, drunk as piper. The big horn
h will blow soon and Old Nick will be
sure to stick his fork into me-" Just
then he espied large black COW in a
lot separated from him only by a
; fence, and as badly frightened as him
sell, if possible, and mistaking her fo'
the old gentleman, he continued
"There he is now, by gracious! there
he comes, oh, don't! oh.o.o!" and the
J frightened man fell back as the COW
! leaped over the fence.
"Never mean to git drunk again.
, said Bill. Speaking Of the affair; 81
thought old time was about to kick tht
Y bucket, and l knowed if he did | wa.
S gone sucker. was sure that ole
COW was the devil, for when she Jun
ed over the fence she had her eyes so
# and her tail twisted, small star OIL
: each horn and bellowin' like a in
J. jine and hollerin' "B-i-l,l," Jest as ma