American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1846-12-01

| ton OF his lips and tongue, and the sum OF hi
| intelligence, to the darker shades in his neigh
boris characteT:-"yes, but rouge will spoil he
| compilations; what pity"
Rouge! she don't rouge" said |.
ooh yes!" said he, 81 heard SlackwateT, tn,
pedlar say, in TACT he told me, that she bough
rouge of HIM. And that is not all;-her teetl
are nearly all false" "Yes and her hair too,
added his barkeeper, in a voice that seemed
the very echo Of his superior's, which superior
thereupon cast look of great complacencl
upon his faithful minion.
"What can make her lips so red1' inquired
little fellow sitting at the far end of the porch
in squeaking tone, lis nose the while us rubi
cund as picked beet and not unlike that roo
in its proportions
"Refection from your proboscis, | take it,
replied the village wit. "They say you are il
love with her, as you fall in love with every
pretty face; and guess you want TO make hers
The more beautiful by poking your own blushe:
into it.''
"Whero does she get bran?" inquired the
landlord, alludiig, suppose, to the means la
dies adopt for giving grace to the swelling
points of their figure.
"Oh, no! wadding."
"Oh, no! rags" exclaimed several voices in
quick succession.
Here my young lady seemed so overwhclm-
ed with an impression of absurding that shG
burst into an immoderate laugh. She proba-
bly, thought was quizziDg her as she did not
delgn to reply. But SO it was-true, all utter
ed with sort of dotic smrk on their faces;
but nevertheless true. went into store hard
by and there | found the landlord and his party
the subject oil the bitterest vituperation- a
mechanics shop and the worthy artisan was
pouring out the Yiol ofhis wrath on the whole
fraternity, his parson in the targain-intO the
Doctors Office aud from Escuapus gathered
the Biography Of every man, woman and child,
both white and negro, in the village from in
fancy to the time then being, during the mar
rating OF which, the few feeble virtues that
could be discerned gllmmering amid the dark
ness OF general personal character, were great
Iy extolIed, while all alterations from the vii
lage moral standard, were piteousIy deplOred.
And here is village life, thought |. News they
get once week and after it becomes unreada-
Bile from sheer age A letter on an average
once fortnight. Books, they have none; nor
do they appear to want any, for they have not
cultivated taste Tor reading and Of course
would not read If they had the library Of the
Capitol. Then what are they to do to Gil the
eterna! void the mind must feel # not engaged
GosSiP, and each others weak points must be
the subject of it, This is the fault of all small
villages, where every one individual is known
to every other. In the city the very multitude
and its density produces different condition
OF things. But this will not
do. must talk little more with my fair one.
"Let me see now if your cheek is hot paint
M | - Al.
same time, as if to rub off the paint. Instead
Of the hue being diminished, it assumed a scar
let redness, The mIschevous thing in the
mean time caught me by pair Of enormous
whlskers which had been the objects Of my
tenderest sollcltnde during three months cult
Vatlon, and inflicted as summary punishment
upon me Tor my impertinenee as Judge Lynch
ever devised for one of his victims. | did not
scream, for that would have been incompatible
with the dignity ola bachelor. But groaned
forit was impossible to help it. She released
me in short time, and that, o, horrible to re.
late, only to gain chance for her tongue!
"And now, Mr.. Bachelor" said she, II sup
pose you perceive that the beauties OF our re.
spcctlve cheeks are natural. am sure yours
are, or you would not have WINGED as you did
under the tug gave them. Perfectly natural
and how elegantly defined by your barber-
How gracefully those points verge towards The
corners OF your mouth-p!anted there by ma
lure, Ike the den!e growth of a valley, to hide
the superhuous moisture that issues from thu
fountain ahove! And those mustaches anc
that tuft; how beautifully emblematic they are
OF the two emotions, hope and despair! Hope
IN the shape of The mustache rides triumphant.
~ above the vortex wherein is engul pied many
living thing, particularly, suspect, the poor
unresIstlng oyster about the reasonable hour o.
10 +. M, while despair, round as the shield Of
the vanqushed Hector, sinks beneath its re.
slstless whirl!''
"Thc village folks, sir, wear long boards (re-
qnently; but not to beautiiy their persons, as
you do. 1t is probably because they either
can't help it, or because they think it useless
to try to be very handsome when they have to
labor. Their whole appearance, however, /.
in unison. If they permit the coarse, ugly
hair OF their chins and cheeks to grow, they
likewise cover their backs with the unrofined
clothing nature has provided for the sheep
and they therefore look all of piece. Mar
thus IN primitive state is not a repulsive be-
ing. His very roughness is in character with
his sex; and we delicate females are inclined t,
like him the better for it, because he then looks
more IKE our protector. You gentlemen o
The city have different way of doing things
The indigenous growth of your chin is brough,
INTO contrast with the exotic of which YOU
coats arc made. and you give generous are;
the decided advantage, by refining his covering
in every manner Of process of which it is sus
ceptIble. Were | fine gentleman, il strike:
me iorcibly that should not seek a competi.
ton with So humble quadruped, nor place
myself in situation to suffer by comparison
1t locked smooth at all, | would try and
smooth my face, as well as wear smooth Goa,
and cravat, aud not labor to improve upon the
coars' ness of primitive barbarism without i'm.
proving in all the particulars suggested by
modern civilization. Keep your mustaches
and tutt, nevertheless. have some sort of q
faint idea that as 1t is fashionable, it is right
aud am sure should be the last TO denounce
them as the badges of fools, or of any body bu,