Baton-Rouge gazette. [volume] (Baton-Rouge, La.) 1819-1856, 1846-02-14
From the Reveills.)
COURTING FOR THE MILLION
Lessons for Ladies'.
BY DOE MILLER.

by JOE MILLER.
II you have a lover, you must seek to at
iach him to you as much as possible-for
this purpose you gust plan early morning
walks, for the beAeisof your health fore
noon excursions, for the purpose of shopping;
afternoon visits to all the Miss Smiths Of your
acquaintance, and be always at home Of eye-
nings so that he can have no excuse to call
elscwhere-requirA his attendance on all
I these occasions, a8EAU cannot be tied in too
hard a KNOT. II you SHOULD be SO fortunate
as to have two lo9ers, you must exert all
your arts to keep 3hem both stronS in their
attachments, with this view you must be pc.
culiarly gracious To each when the other is
absent--hy a iudicious equipoisa of this COM
pensating balance, you may keep them in or
der for a long time. SO that you may not only
have 1.-TWO strings: TO your bow"-but two
BEAUs on one string.
If one Of your admirers should become ulI-
ruly, treat him vita disdain and indifference.
IL he should be mach disaffocted, prove the
extent of your coLpNEss by-eating ICE CREAM
with his rival.
Ifyou have but Gae adorable, you can test
the thermometer Of discrimination by sending
him on various }ittIB errsnds for you-for
instance, to carry four dear little lap-dog FL
do in his arms to TIE nearest wire worker, a
mile of, 10 be fitted with a basket muzzle--
or, by requiring him to stop at Miss Gimp's,
the milliner, ami bring home your new
French bonnet and feathers, which anus be
carried by hand, ard can't be shut up in a
band box" Care must be taken not to heat
and overload him with burdens, as even mo.
lasses will get souF if fermented and "work-
ed.'
. nua~rnl oTn, ,r;tb ,oy,. oJroirnra i. 10 iz ca
delightful to 'fkiss and make friends" When
a lover pops the question, don't answer, but
faint Immediately, in the most graceful man
ner possible, it isby far the most lady.like
manner Of transacting the business, besides,
you know, silence signifies consent.
If your intended should tax you with your
numerous hirtatiols, let your reply be ais sill
II . . nasihle-ssaRe EE answer ttnEl4etthl aHay
wrath"
If your beau shohld be on the wrong side OF
thirty, do not fail ty frequent illusions to old
bachelors, a green{old age, the venerable APP
pearance Of reverend years, &c, to apprise
him that you have; a proper appreciation Of
the respect due to.antiquated humanity--Iet
no occasion pass by where you have an op,
portunity TO enforce your views, this vii
give him a high opinion of your virtues, al
Old age commands respect. If he should be
under twenty-three you can affect to consid-
er him a boy-ehquire whether he plays
marbles now-and. whether hoop is considers
ed a healthy game. All persons like to b
thought Young, and the verdant youth canno'
but appreciate any compliment to his GREEN
REss.
If you think there is the smallest particle
of love in your adrairer's bosom, if he canno'
be induced to shfw it by gentle means, yor
may scold a little sin order to make him flare
up-many a s~parkEhas been "blowed up" int
quite a vigorous FEAME.
If you have a new adorer try and find OH
what he is worth>-if he's, rich encourage
him; but, if his mdqey SACK is empty, "give
him the bag to hol1," III he should be rich il
wealth, VOW will and it SOVEREIGN balm
and you cannot BIZ DOLLAR Gus, but if his
empty purse is as full of holes as a 50 i've b
assured that his a~tfection will not 'hold wa
ter,n
PRrIADELPHlg January 9Th, 1916.