Richmond enquirer. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1815-1867, 1846-10-16
dear love- do come Kiss me, your dear darling,
and alwayslove me as your own pure, devo'ed
VIRGINIA.
MONDAY. 2lsl Sentember

MONDAY, 2lSt September.
Oh God was ever misery like mine wretch
ed DAYS and sleepless nights. Oh God what is
hone now to me Tomorrow decides my fate:
| am separated from my husband, and compelled
10 return 10 home where know not how shall
be received. My father is a sern-hearcd man
| from him can receive nothing but unkindness,
perhaps cruelty; but oh GID defend me from This
taie Oh what is il that stays this hand, when
all this misery may be ended in one moment +
NV God! This life must be taken cannot sup
DOT, it. Oh thai had strength TO write you, but
this poor bosom is too agonized for one word
| Oh that could see you for one moment-Jusl one
instant; but no, alas! il cannot be Dearest, Tor
one hour last night, did sit at The window just
over the steps, hoping 10 see you, but you did mol
come. My God just for one hour with thee,
would giveup life itself.
You ask me If DR.. and Mrs. - are kind 10
mel Dr. is so incensed against me, that
he will not even see me. He believes wrote
the letters He says they are SO hlled win
love and idola,ry, that be never believed,
before woman could love with such Intensity
They are indeed, awful letlers-eyery word brea-
thing The deepest, londesl love. Mrs. c. has
been like an angel 10 me. She believes me Inno-
cent, pure and heavenly. She feels Tor me more
than dared hope any one would ieel ioI me
She sleeps with me, soolhes me, prays Tor me-
when am in such agony that am almost ma
MAC. Sometimes have suffered So that in or
der 10 allay my miseries, have taken 4O drops
of laudanum. Every day since that fatal Thurs
day, have taken opium every hve hours; ior,
without il I should have died. No mortal could
endure aponies like mine. Oh God when
think on my future fate, am beside myself
going 10 house where shall meet with nothing
save harshness-no being 10 speak one word ol
comfort-one word Of kindness-ali cold, chilling
TO me-perhaps on bed OF illness, death-no
creature 10 smooth my dying pillow. Oh God.
God God the thought kills me; alas! what
may be reality! Dearest never forget-never
forset-suear 10 me you never will-your promise
that my last moments shall be spent with you
You shall be sent ior-lhat promise; and Oh, Tell
me, YOU will not refuse 10 come-promise
me: nav. swear it, then will be happy know
ing the last breath will be in thy aims. l ex-
pect nothing from my family but unkindness; ana
now wish you 10 advise NE on lhis SUBJECT,
Dear one YOU are my all, and on you depend
for every thing. have told you that have
means sufficient 10 support myself Tor year
Should my treatment al home be such as lear
il will BIZ, what would you advise me 10 do! II
they treat me cruelty, you certainly would mol!
wish ME to endure it. have very dear iflend
in Washington-Mrs. H, woman OF Inc
very first family and standing. She is so devo-
ted 10 me that she will refuse me nothing. She
loves me. she says, as her child. Shall apply
10 he. to gel me situation as leacher IN some
school, or any other employment she mlghl see
fiji | can write TO her, and 60 To her, unknown
10 my family-for, perhaps, il they knew IL lney,
wouid not lei me go. Will not this be sood
arrangement? have such confidence in her de-
yolion TO me, that know she will not refuse me
any favor, however great-indeed know she
would insist on my remaining with her; but mat
would agree 10 only on one condition-lhat she
allows me 10 earn my own support Diu you
know how she loves me, you would be sure sha1
would meet from her unbounded kinoness.-
Now, dearest, know how coldly, how unkindly,
l. am TO be treated al home. They will lreat me
so as 10 break my heart-and oh cannot en-
dure more than | am now suffering In your
letter tonight tell me how ] shall act in this al.
fair for will do nothing without your advice
Oh. nv very heart bleeds when think OF The
trials before me Oh, you do pity me! Think
OF me tomorrow, when my iae is 10 be decided
and oh pray God TO have mercy on me! Dear
one, trust you will send me the ring, for now
need every kindness from you TO strengthen and
support me and oh, that ring will be such SO.
lace. For The sake Of mercy, refuse II not. All
nv friends believing me 10 be i'll not having heard
of nv distress, have been 10 see me; but my
mind is in such slate, | have seen no one
Every hour receive some message from some
y.
can see no one. lam in too much agony; and
Col NJ iorbids my mentioning The suolecl
10 creature; ard, dearest, do you not think, IN
Justice 10 myself should have told my friends
Of this. for when am gone they will hear Col.
Ms statement He will Tell erGy one
He will be believed, and shall not be here 10
defend myself have longed 10 tell my friend.
of all but am not allowed TO do so. They WI
hear nv accusers when am gone and Shall
mol be here 10 say am innocent On now IN
JUS, tl,ey arc % me. In ihoec ieuors there 's no
word said If our meeting once IN The pallor
Dearest, once more promise me nercr 10 speak Il
P. R. COL M told DR.. c.
that P. r. told him OF things which occur.
red bct,reen us, saying he had them from Boyden
who was "o1sr friend" P. R-spoke OF you
pihlyto Colonel NJ saying you were only
fit associate tOr mcn-also told him Of certain
woman whom you had as -; but mj
God all ask is, shun him, for he is the rune
of my peace-0s snch could you speak TO him
Dearest, know shall leave here either lo-mor
, row or Wednesday for home. After am a
home shall write you, telling you all. For lea
oil danger, shall enclose the letter TO Boyden, put
ting it in The office with my own hands. In Iha
eller shall form some arrangement by which
you can write me- II shall be without risk 10
, all shall be fixed with the greatest precantion
think now of getting friend OF mine, with whom
ain eACcculUSIy iWIlHdtCj W diiOW hiS w 'SS~''
your letters Though him. He is very fond @
! me, and know will agree TO it-perfeclly honor
able, and, therefore, there cannot be The leas
danger. He will deliver your letters 10 me il
person. In your letter tonight tell me If you will
!; agree TO this know you will; for could you re
! fuse me such happiness-separated from you
and not hear from you This is utterly impossible
impossible Oh! dearest, tell me you will do this
, when | write you it has been arranged pcrtecH
!, safe. entrcat you, as my last request, reius
me not-for, refuse me This, and you take my life
Oh, dear! how we will pass the days OF absence
knowing that we are faithful, conslant-and
feel thai ere long God will make us happy. Yes
dearest, sometimes think this trial which IS nov
SO grieyous, is 10 be the means finally Of uniting
us forever Ifyou are faithful, il will be so; for
ere long, may be free, honorabiy Tree, and then
am yours. Tell me, beloved, do you not believe
, | shall one day be lhne2 Do you not believe hi
very circumstance is TO bring me 10 thee2 Oh
God grant il! There is only one tear-lhat is
change. II we continue to love. God says, W,
shall be happy. Dearest, now tell me you vii
always love me, and | will wait patiently TO
The hour of our reunion. II we love always
there can nothing prevent our being united
for shall be free, and then am thine. Dear
est do you think you can stand this testi Wher
! YOU write in your note tonight, tell me, fo
that will support me, when all else fails-tht
hope, the belief, that we are 10 De one uay nap
py-and swear nothing shall prevent il, if yor
love me. Tomorrow, dearest, we part, yet III
not forever No. The hour comes when we shal
be happy Oh, dearest, the belief that we shall
be faithful, constant, supports me. can stant
! every thing while you love me- Remember these
words forever Promise me that no being shall
have one thought one feeling of thine. Love 10
me, and again swear, nothing shall proven. my
being yours, and honorably yours. This sepa
; ration is grcvons trial, but we will look beyond
il to the bright day of our meeting. | canno
write, for alas alas | am loo wretched. Oh
dearest, pray for me. Tell me, when am gon'
will you pray for me? Oh that those letters ha'
not been intercepted But alas it was from nj
carelessness OF mine. knew not the servan
was my spy. l could not ioresee this. No,
was decrced by God all these trials should conn
on me. | have learned one lesson. lnever trus
! a human being again with a letter. put then
, - tha offi ith mine oun hands and rpceiy