Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1846-04-09

your poChet LloIe( IoI lear you SnOUlu ge.
a surleit Of gingerbread and round-hearts
Answer me that. You are-you dear little
pettish spoiled imp-of - | mean you
dear moppet.
COL Well, we'll, goody-I don't want to
quarrel with you-not land am willing
to forget what you said the other day. But
you must acknowled ge that you have foul
tongue in your head, and whenever you
can't make people DO just as you please.
abuse them like pickpockets. wish you'd
leave it of-it's bad practice, and will
bring you into trouble, one of these days.
Brit. (.Aside.) Was there ever such an
impairment, provoking mink? If hadn't
a point to gain, I'd scratch her eyes out, so
| would. But my dear little Columbia, let's
be serious, and talk over the old affair of
Oregon. You'd better give it to me at once,
and say no more about it, and you can't
think how the Quarterly will praise you,
my dear.
Col. Can't, indeed
Brit. You don't know how I'll love you,
Iif you will. I'lI call you chip of the old
block-l'll invite you to all my tea parties
Pill kiss you, and hug you, and humbug
you, and you shall be my ny-dony-darlng
Col. And suppose don't choose to make
fool of myself-what then?
Brit. Why, then-why why But
must keep my temper-(a aside. But you're
only joking know you will.
Col. Can't indeed.
| Brit Well then. as we can't agree, SUD-
pose we submit it to arbitratione
Ha7
of arbitration. Besides, you have abused
me, and blackened my character so all over
the world-you've called me- vulture, and
so many other hard names, that if your re-
putation as scolding old termagent was
not pretty we'll known, would be consid-
cred almost as bad as yourself As it is, !
have hardly friend left in the world, and
| don't know single person | could trust
to do justice between US.
Brit My character! old termagent! Mar
ny come up, my dirty cousin pray what
do you mean by thai Amt | broth of a
woman? Amt as pious as saint, as pa
tent as maryland as philanthropc as
a she wolf? DON'T starve tie hungry,
strip the naked, and make the liNle children
work like horses, to keep them out Of mis-
chief? Don't | wrong every body's rights
! mean right every body's wrongs-tho'
| say it myself, because n body else will
say it Answer me that, you upstart cat
neutrality-suspicious. you'll certainly accept
the forty ninth degree-hey, honey dear?
Coz No. | offered it once, and you as
good as told me was trying to cheat you
outright. " know the old saying about
one good ofet?
Brit. Then you mean TO swallow it all
yourself, you little Vulture, just as you did
Texas.
Col. Why, don't know. Perhaps, if
YOU behave decently, and don't give your
self airs-and if you'll take it as a favor,
and not as right, may allow you to set
your traps there for a few years longer.
But mind, my lady, if you 60 to chatter
and bully, as you always do, l'll make YOU
dance the Polka to the tune of Yankee
Doodle.
Brit. The jade-the hussey-the mink
the vuIture-the cormorant-lhe cata-
Imount-the undutiGul, ungrateful, rebelIious
spawn Of Democracy-the-t the aside.
Co.. Why, what are you muttering about,
old, lady?
Brit. Why, my darling, was just saying
TO myself that if you'd only be good now,
might find in my heart 10 persuade you to
do me a great favor.
COL All! that would be something new,
indeed.
Brit. Why, my dear little pupil, as you
have great deal more than you want, and
things are little scarce with me Just now,
lhink-that is to say, if you'll be very,
very good girl, and give me big slice Of
.Oregon-Ill permit you to supply me with
bread and provisions.
I Col. The deuce you will Well now,
that is liberal in you, | must say, and Fll
take the matter into serious consideration.
But must first consult the wisdom of Con-
gress, and in the mean time, good bye.
Brit He-he-he! I've hooked the gud.
geon at last. That notion of free trade was
what they call Peezer. What a green
horn! can change whenever there is a
good crop of potatoes; but if once get a
fair hold of Oregon, they may choke me, if
they can. Erit hunsming "Brihania Rules
the Waves"
A DosE.-A lady sent her servant the
other day for a copy of Lalla Rookh, but
confounding it with arroaD root, she brought
home dose of that instead of Lalla Rookh,
labelled, to be taken 'varm 'chem going to bed.