Wisconsin herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1846-1849, 1846-05-30
The Jeffersoniayz aud Independent
American.

and the Gaiena .Jsfersonian.--in the use o
words found in Websier's Elementary Spell
ling Book the superiority must be conceded Il
the American; but,he Jeffersooan has CREATE
familiarity with Dictionaries of Latin and
Greek quotations. The forDer.picks up phra
ses and fragments of sentences any where. and
appropriaies the underbrush Of or,hography
while the lauer plonges into The forest OF an
tiquity, with the axe of the plagiarst on III
shoulder, and presently comes forth. groanins
under burden Of Latin or Greek, carved from
authors of ancient standing. Of which il is az
Ignorant. as a crow is Of Choctaw. The In
dependent American and Jew'David's Plaster
does not pretend TO any skill in composition
beyond the preparation of poff for patent
pills the JeIersonian, affects style, wi, origin.
atty, eioquence. IL can stuff paragraph
with "deep dread bolied thunder" the vol
ley's roll, the rockets blasting spire and mu.
sic "breathing heroic ardor TO adventurous
deeds'-with thunder. like its capital, all bor-
rowed bu; when il comes to siutfng the pub.
lie with pills, il is as far behind The Jew
David's Plaster as the tail OF The Sea- Serpent
IL behind its head. The Je1ersonian, in its
way. is like bass drum at 4,h Of July Gel
ebraiion, hard to beat or like tin kettle tied
10 The tail Of Progressive Democracy" rat
Ting as it runs while the Jew David's Plas-
ter in its way, is like druggists mortar, to
bea, it Is only 10 pnlverize the nosirums Of
quacks-and offend the public nose with the
stencil of viIainous compounds.
The prevalence in its columns, o. military
thunder. renders il probable tina, The Jefferso.
nian has melted into its composition that old
soldier, moskes and all, that used TO stand
guard weekly at the head of The old Sentinel
print; while the Plaster is as Pacific as
Compromise a, latitude 40. south OF the
Straits Of Fuca, running for the nearest por,
in the Friendly Islands, before British
squadron. An arillerist would say. that il
the JefIersonan has the greater show OF met
al, the Plaster has the greater bore--,her
calibre comparing together like a sauce pan
with the cracked mortar Of On apothecary.--
When compared 10 remedial agents, The JEFF
fersonian, IL taken, produces simple nausea !;
while the Plaster has the effect, when taken.
OF dose Of Persian pils--or like pecac, is
Immediately sen, back again.
The Jeilersonian. practices the game of
"lckle me and will scratch YOU and pur-
chases the Pofs of stupid newspapers with
mutual quotations aud compliments. bartering
soi, soap for hard; whilo the Plaster only
rend, puifs by the square. differing from an
spo,hecary chiefly in this, that i, has nothing
TO do with serapks.
Ia regard to veracify. |, is hard TO say which
stands higher since both are below all the de.
grees marked 10 the scale Of ethics. If they
could be compared TO wells, rather than pud.
dies. they would originate new maxim. TO.
wit: that even Truth lies. in the bottom of a
wells as il now il. their utter mendaciiy re-
mains unexplained; for they are so uniformly
in tho habi, Of telling fbs. that they never by
accident even, tell the truth.
Their fclions however, are often composed
Of opposite elements. To make combined
attack upon the Herald and produce anything
like sparkling repartee, the American. pours
It's acid into the Jetlersosian's a'kali; but so
feeble are the elements of siferveseence. that
the result is always 'fls, stale and uhprof,a-
bic
And here we will remark, 10 borrow a
witlclsm long ago turned out Of the enclosure
of Joe Miller, to die upon the common. and
lately taken up and appropriated by the JET.
fersoaian.) that .facts are stubborn things; so
are jaekasses.' The former part Of this pro-
position is trnism; the latter part is too well
illustrated in the habits and character of The
Plaster and the Jefersonisn. TO need further
demonstration Candor therefore requires us
TO admit, that they possess the quality of ob
s,inscy; so tina, whatsoever resemblance or de-
gree of relation, jaekasses may beat to the truth,
the Plaster and The Jeiiersonian may claim
the fell benefit Of il.
As to creeds, the Independent American. evi.
IDENTIFY leans to the doctrine iaoghtio St. Peter.
and goes through the ceremony every week OF
"leuing down sheet filed with all manner
Of creeping aud unelesn ,hiugs,' while the
Jetfersonian, Of late has shown symptoms OF
Millerism aud and is preparing to follow the
example Of Eooeh, being already abou, half
translated
The politics Of the Plaster is federalism
bleaehed: the politics of the Jeirersouiau. is
Federalism painted; Do, with strong tinge Of
the native blue shining through the vanished
exterior.
The Plaster and the Jeffersonisn may
both h.. noosig.,ol ,n so,.a eans. $3.50, so,r