Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1846-01-08
NJ I S q d u u a SJ & o
THE LIFE OF A NEWSPAPER.
WRITES BY ITSELF.

My life is shortly told. My first impress
sion was the sensation Of tremendous but
short squeeze, which instantly awoke me into
life and thought. was now spread out 10
the light, and glow of intelligence complete
ly pervaded me. My ideas were at first new.
muitiiarious and confused nations. politics.
courts, wars, speeches, merchandise. fighting.
ieasts, deaths, marriages; dItles, poetry, SC,
made up all my thoughts. which were various
and mixed. lay i'll silent state of wonder
and great amazement.
soon found that | was but one of a verv
large family, that was ushered into this curl
Gus world a. the same time. Our whole fam
lily was laid Ill regular order on pile; my
situation, being one of the first born, was par
ticularly uneasy, damp and uncomfortable.
had silent, lntuitlve longing wish to get
INTO the world, which was at last gratified.
Morning came, and was carefully folded
and laid, Moses like, in basket, by bow,
who was called the carrier, and borne into
the street. The said carrier, | soon found.
was an object of interest and desire He was
soon accosted by an elderly looking man.
with threadbare, rusty breeches-
"fiave you spare paper this morning, nv
boy3"
"No, sir,'' was the shor. reply. and ne
trudged on with us multerng, mot as Won
know on, old gripes-you're the same chap
that promised me some coppers for paper
the othei morning, and hain't paid me vet :;
you're too stingy to take the paper-you
won't get another from me, ! guess''
My brethren were now fast leaving me, be-
ing deposited at their destir.slon. At length
my turn came, and was tucked into the Gre
vice OF shop door. The first sample of the
KIND was not al all alluring. had not been
long IN my new situation, when a reluctantly
early conner, swinging key in his hand,
wistfully eyed me; and casting look about
him, feloniously seized me and thrust me into
his pocket.
MY rightiul owner-by virtue Of advance
pay, being in sight, hailed and arrested the
pilierer, and with threats compelled him TO
rellnquish his prize. He entered his store,
and soon found that was the great object
OF his attention. After hastily driving me bv
the hre, IN which process narrowly escaped
!conflagratlon, he ran over me, and fixed his
eyes upon sales at auction, advertisements.
&c: | was then more particularly examined,
and dismissed with condemnation.
Nothing but foreign news-Congress and
Ca6lnet-love stories and accidents by flood
or held. A newspaper should be CONNER
cIal report, one side at least should be devoted
to prices current" / was then pettishIv
thrown upon the counter, but was soon in
requisitlon. boy came in with @PIease
to lend ma your newspaper few minutes
Just to look over the ship news :"
The request was reluctantly granted, with
something about the plague of the paper bor-
rowing, and determination to stop it.
was soon borne to neighboring house. The
good old woman whose husband was at sea,
eagerly sought the ship news, but was disap-
pointed in her search.
"1ow negligent and careless these printers
are" said she, 'not word of intelligence
of the Wind Bird; they print of Portland
and poetry, and fill their papers with adver.
tsements, and that is all they care about
Miss now took her turn.-She sought the
stories, the poetry, and marriages which IL
half an hour were all devoured, with the
"wonder that they put any thing else in the
paper" An elderly lady now took me, sur
veyed me little while, and declared me
"terrible uninterestiDg paper; hardly a CO
Iumn Of deaths, and not more than fifteen Of
twenty murders and accidents.