Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1846-09-03

IN Jaeniiglfssed Candidate -" Fell
Ter Citizens" ssid candidate for Con-
fTsss, recently, some-uhere out west g.
/" FeiIsr citizens! you're well awar I've
no edicslicn. Ireyer went 10 school but
three iimss ID my life. and that vas 10
night school. Two nights The teacher
hin,nt come. and the 'tother night 4 had
10 candle.
BlT1Ec 4 RUMsELLER.-"I say land
lord, said man 10 co6niry 10 tavern
keeper, chow many liquors can get for
fWo long bits." /" Five" said mine host
"Wsll, fork them over. Come up boys
aud drink The liqnorizing completed.
be pulls out Two worn out bride bits.
which were long enough 10 ell conscience.
II Il needless to say how savage the land
lord looked, when the customer walked
cody out, amid the shoots Of the crowd.
Nicer Satisfied. "a Nobody is satisfied
IN this world. II legacy is lsfi q man
he regrets i is moi larger. II be finds q
sum Of money. be searches the spot for
nore. II be i elected to some high Office
be Misber for better one. II be is rich
and wants for nothing be strives for more
wealth. II be Is single man, be is look.
Ing out for wife. il married for chill
dren. Man Is never satisfied.
The following dialogue Is betwsenla
landed proprietor and tenant:
Z Good morning. Jacques. What 6ae
weather. trust that every thing is com.
lng out Of The ground sell!"
- hope not, Monsieur"
why 30 I"
II buried my vile yesterday. Mon.
sisur.n
Say and Ssid.-Mf. ID. dad you say. or
did you mol say. what said you said,
because G said you said You nevsr did
ear what said you said. Now j you
did say that you did not say what ! said
you ssid. then what did you say
John Smith has said many good things.
snd smong the rest, thala me xspsPsr 10
IKE vile, because every man ought 10
have ons q his own"
"Gailiy, Or moi guilty I" said Judge
70 . native Of The Emerald fsle.
s'Just q yer honor PLACES. It's not
he ike ONE 10 dictate 70 yer honer's
worship" Vas the reply.
n DaieAmas's Sgorv Mine Cot. Hans.
you may talk 81 you pc mind about e
hogs peing q conirariesl animal but e
hen j. 90 much more contrary coot
deal. Wy. no longer ago aud ioder day.
] Try 10 make hsu set, | make . nest
up Good !; pool e hen On. bui che no eel
] Jam her down on te eggs. but abe will
op right up. Den ! make leeile pox.
,poul 20 pig one way. measuring with bis
hands. end 'ponl so PIG toder usy-den
pools Il Ilesils pox over her-aud den |
just takes and rsises 70 poxsto see whether
shs Is setting. add pc tam il ] don't fnt h
Il tam hen eel siandingi
Smiles Of Providsncs.-We eli have
heard Of Providenee. wasmueh pleased
with Uncle J,m's ideas on that subject.
Good morning. Uncle jim.
Good morning.
We'll, you'vego yOus tsssh.ss mar
ned Of have youi
Yes.
Really, Pro,idsOcs smiles upon yos.
Smilsdi No bless you. be snicksred |
right out
YERY AFFECTING "A "a, ner going 70
eel bis grist eround Il mill. borrowed 4
bag Of one Of bis neighbors. The poor
man was knocked into The waller wheel
and The bag went With him; be was
drowned; and when The mslsncholy news
vas brought 10 his wife. she exclaimed,
my gracious! what luss thsrs'il Be
bout that bag /"
Horse Flesh "A correspondent Of The
Boston Bee. writing frou Paris. ssys.
arhers are 1000 rs. Of horse tlesh broughtio
paris every d,f. dp,y % which d paid 81 she
barriers oeiensibly for doe' meat bat in teaii,y
foxthe cheap fssssstaa.s =
RopULarion o. FLORIDA The iu-
crease Of he population Of Florida may
81 Judged lf6m tie following facts. %
faised 81 : lsnse.lsr 81 inqui,iss among
several families -
snlrs. o. has % children-nins sons
cad eileen dsnshiers. Six Of her daogh.
icfs are married. and one Of ihem has
eight children. .oo,her tour smother two.
nsolbef luo. and another ooe. Mrs. s. \
has six dsuehlers married. two Of whom III
have thirteen children each Two have
twelve each, one hes nine. and smother
o;rhl. Mrs y has fourteen ehildrsn. TIE
Oldest 81 whom i only iiilsen ye,rs 81
-. H.. NJ ~. .sr,enn eksI1<or A..