Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1846-05-06

kuoWSWHal NUT ana Whafs too much
withoht askin' You, an if you don't
leave of snickerin' III spile your lace.'
Hecoitoned right down, and said he
didnHmean, any huit, and asked me If
| hadn't better take some gin. told
himfl would. So Itook putty good
horn and left the shop.
Ter got OUT continued Ethan 4
ielt@better for mint or SO. but hadn't
gone Mr afore the gripes took me agin,
so eHt into another shop and took
som salore gin, then sot down on the
"a I01se Steps and there | sot and
sot, but dind't feel darned mite bet.
ter. Ibegun to think Twas going to
kick the bucket, and then thought OF
father and mother and of old Spanxer--
that's fathers hoss--and when | tho't
l should never see'em agin, fairly
blubbered. But when happened to look
up and see dozen boys GRIMM and
latfin' at me, te!l you what it riz my
dander--t that had got down below nero
rite up agin. sprung at um like a
wild cat, hoIerin' out, that I'd shake
their tarnaI gizzards out, and the way
the little devils scampered was eau
ton to nobody. But after the excite
ment Of the race was over, | felt wus
agin, and couldn't help groanin' and
screechin' as went along.
AT last | thought I'd 10 10 the theatre,
but before l s;ot there the gripes got SO
strong that l had to go behind meelin'
house and lay down and hoIler. Arler
a while | got up and went into a
shop and eat half dollars wurth Of
billed oysters with four picked cow
cumbers, and wound up with glass Of
brandy. Then | went into the theatre
and seed the plays, but | felt so tarnal.
Iy that could not see any fun in EN-,
for dom think the listers and the COW.
cumbers dun me any good. l sot down,
laid down and stood up, but still it went
on gripe, gripe. groaned all the time,
an once in while | was obleeged to
screech kinder easy. Every body star.
ed at me, and somebody called out
':urn him out! once or twice. But al
last just as the niger Orthello was go
ing TO put the pillar on his wife's face t
smother her, there cum such twinge
through me, that really tho't / was
bustin' an l yelled out-'Oh dearl oh,
scissorsP so loud that the old theatre
rung agin.
Such row you never seed, the mig
ger dropped the pillar, Deuteronomy
or what you call her there-his wife,
jumped off the bed and run, while eve
ry body in the theatre was all up In a
muss, some larfin' some swearin'. The
upshot Of it was, the police carried me
out of the theatre and told me to make
myself scarce.
Wal, as | didn't feel any better ]
went into a shop close by, and called
for two glasses Of brandy; arter swal.
lerin it, | went hum to the tavern. l
sot down by the winder and tried to
think | felt better, but twas no 60; that
blessed ingine was still wallowin away
inside; so | went out and eat a quar-
ter's worth of listers and piece of
mince pie. Then went back an told
the tavern keeper | felt kinder, and |
thought I'd take some Caster lie,
mouth of cold meat and a strong glass
of whiskey punch, and then go to bed.
He got the fixins, which ! took and
went to bed.
But, tell yer what, l had rather a
poor night. Sometimes was awake
groanin', an when was asleep I'd
better be awake, for had sich power>
ful dreams. Sometimes thought l
was skinnin' bear, and then by some
hocus pocus 'twould all change tother
side to, and the tarnal crittar would be
skinnin' me.
Then, agin, Id dream that Twas roll
ing logs with the boys, and just as I'd be
a shoutin' out-'now then!-there she
goes?-every thing would gctreversed
agin-I was a log and the boys were
prying me up with their hand spikes.
Then I'd wake up and screech and
roar--then off to sleep again-to dream
that Spauker had run away with me,
or that father was whoopin me, or some
other plagy thing. till mornin'. .a
When got up hadn't any appetite
for breakfast, and the tavern keeper
told me if | was goil' to carry on
screamin and groanin as | had the
night before. my room was better than
my company.
Il haint,' said Mr.. Spike, in conclu-
sion, i haint been to Portland since, but
if | live to be as old as Ma,husalum, |
shall never forget that alfred ice
cream. .5
EXAMPLE. .-Wicks, a murderer, ex-
ecuted in England, said he paid for seats