Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1846-03-12
A Queer Old HumOrist.

A queer old humorist lived in queer old cot
ktage,s in the outskirts of our village. He had
travelled much in the East, and had made money
as merchant in Smyrna. Bang a native Of
our parish, and a bachelor, he Game to close his
mof+dff II c4t1pter wherc-it began a4need scarcely
say that, like so many of his class, he was hdg-
ETY., testy, and troublesome; but lover of fair
play, withal warm-hearted, and benevolent
At bottom, too, he was thoroughly religious
man. He and were getting on uncommonly
well together, when, greatly to my sorrow, he
took i'll and died, only few months after we
had become acquainted. An odd incident be-
fel him on his deahbed; and l must relate it,
as illustrating his character:-A thief made his
way into his cottage one midnight, and entered
his dying chamber to steal-for he was counted
rich as Nabob There was a light burning in
the room. What do you want, frend!' was
the tcsty demand Of our disturbed old gentle
man. Your money, and your jewels" said
the thief go! you are there, are you? Very
we'll Just look at these old legs of mine,
(thrusting out his emcaated members fiom be-
meath the bed-clothes.) Nay, lay hold of them
feel them-so, you must be perfectly convin-
ced IN your own mind, now, that cannot go
into the next apartment, where my money is
Come, then, take me on your back, and carry
me there" Saying this, the old chap, dying
though he was, actually rose, and got out of bed.
The thief drew back with look of ghastly sur
prise Hark We! son of woman born" con-
tnued the cid gentleman, emphatlcaily, as he
sat him down on the front of the bed, and raj
sed his fore-fnger with warning soemnty, 81
am far on my way to Eternity-and you are
coming on behind me. You are here to steal
certain trash of mine? Come, now, you must
do better than that: Draw near Here is this
bad old heart Of mine: Stand forward Reach
me now YOU thieysh hand into this inveterate
bosom of mine: O! do but steal-rob-plun-
der from it Coyetousness, Lust, Anger, and ev-
cry other lingering bad passion. and send me
lighter on my way: o! do this, and you shall
have all my gold! You shake your head!-
,rnug put iioo'y-yo" NO.. .'-~ ...~ 49,
back" The thief could not stand this. He
fell down on his knees, and begged the old mans
forgiveness. Are you really in want?" asked
the eccentric invalid "I am" was the reply,
"Lut deserve to be so, for have been dissipa-
ted and idle; but God help me! l think I am
changed man" Take this key, them" said
our dying friend; "open my desk in the next
room there (pointng to the door;) you will find
a purse of gold in it bring it to me- The
thief did so. "Take that" said the worthy
humorist, and he served out his gold literally
into the thief7s trembling hand. With tears in
his eyes, the poor penitent again fell on his
knees, and craved a blessing on the dying man.
He was about to retire, 'Nay, friend, you must
help me into my bed FIRST" said the old gentle
man, "it is anything but reasonable that | be
raised up at midnight in this sort of manner" -
Accordingly, the thief lifted the old man up in
his arms, and put him into the bed CHOW,
brother worm, said the queer, but wise old pa
tient, d" ! asked this last piece of service for
your own good, as we'll as mine You will
be nothing the worse of having felt the weight
and worth of an armful of poor, sinful, dying
clay. 1t will help you to keep in mind your
good resolutions Christ be with you! In his
own gracious words, Co. and sin no more. -
The Old Bachelor in the Oil Scottish Village