New-York daily tribune., 1846-01-24
From the Editors Table Of the Jan. Knickerbocker
A Capital Story of Capital Punishment.

we are indebted 10 q taVOrlte IOI al
amusing sketch. with which shall serve our
Table in two separate side.dishes. Have the
goodness al this present TO taste aud admire u'c
first =" Some years since there lived IN CINCINNATI
a bulle: headed broad. .shouldereG, thick necked
brute OF Du;chnan. who, tempted as ne sa4u'
by de Rum and de Tuyfel,' committed the horrible
crime of numbering his wife. There existed at that
time and for au ebt that | know up 10 the present
neriod law in the State of Ohio that criminal
found guilty. Of murder might as it was expressed
have liberty OF choice between hanging or I'M
prisonuen, for life. Consequently most hotniclaes
had taken the privilege OF drawing their nechs from
the moose and had chosen the liberty OF being De
,,,;red of liberty during their natural lives. But
our Dutchman from sheer obstinacy and contempt
of advice loudly declared that he had rather be
HING. The Cincinnatians like all other eniisht
ened people, love 10 ride on an excitement ana
the city Sas divided agains; ltsen on the hanging
question with the same spint and sincerity as Il
would have been on contested election. 1here
were hanging and anti hanging tea'partles hanging
and antihanging Churches and the anthangers
ragged furiously against the hangers ior telr oiood
thrstiness and non.obedience 10 the Commandments
while the hangers as loudly denounced The anti
hangers as immoral innovators, who would destroy
the Constitution and upcoot civilization lne Ola
man suddenly found himself the most interesting
nerson that had ever been in Cincinnati, and re-
ceived several deputatons every day TO shake or
confirm bis decision but. indexlble as PRONE
rHEus on the rock, he firmly adhered 10 the nans
ing AT that time Science had not as now lliied
her manyeyed head in every town and village ana
any one who could even say few words on such
subjects was looked upon with no smaii wonder'-
Young Scochman was then the oracle. VINO pro
no1nced eentence ON all the onOmles and oioeles'
To the astonishment of the town speople, that one
small head could carry all he knew. Professor
KImAKSocE was one of the most creduous, kind
hearted benevolent Scotchmen breathing. bis
whole thoughts were bent on the physical sciences;
and he was continually expatiating in all places, Tor
his mind never reverted TO the person win "hom
he discoursed and consequently entirely disregard
cd their capar,v or fitness for the SUBJECT On
Electricity, Galvanism or Magnetism he would talk
by the hour; and it mattered little whether his
auditor was child, an old negro or an elderly iady.
In his personal appearance he was laueHapie-Iooh
ing object enough at first sight but short acquaint'
ance with him soon changed ridicuIe INTO respect
for as have said. he one OF the most sincere
honest and kind hearted of men, and would do all
in his power 10 serve any human being.
One day when he was as usual running over
his notes on Galyanism friend who was bit OF
wac. suggested to him what a Providentlai thlng II
would be for him il the old Dutchman were 10 De
hanged as he would then have an opportunity OF
enlightening the Cincnnatians with an eXhloltlon
of that wonderful science, AID likewise Of putting
considerable sum in his own pocket Struck "ith
this new plan for the diffusion OF science he was
instantly converted from violent anti.hanger to
most sinceree hanger He posted oil 10 the old
man. with request that, tor the good OF the puo-
lc,' he would will his body which he pertnentiy
remarked would be of no farther use 10 the owner
to him. for the benefit and instruction oil his eiow
citizens 'Yais' said the old man. 'you may nave
my poor body; ash you say, twill DO me no 6oot
but while she live she moost have some rum and
leelle mooney So he entered into an agreement
that he would sell his body for fifty dollars in hand,
n quart of rum daily. md extra quart on the day
of eyecution They shook hands on the bargain,
and it was impossible to say which seemed the best
pleased In 4 few days a new claimant appeared
in the person Of the old mans son, who, being sud
denly seized with rapid growth of tial affection,
declared that mis- feelings would not allow him to
see his fathers body chuckcd about in That way Tor
nothing' Fifty dollars more were offered, when
his lacerated feelings shrunk beck 10 their original
dimensions; and on leaving, he acknowledged that
six hogs aud two cows, which he intended 10 buy
with the money, were worth more IN his estimation
than an old dead body; which as he said, would
take something 10 bury it legal friend OBJ
served that all that was required had not yet been
done: that the appreciation OF the Sheriff was neces
sary. This, however, was easily secured ior that
officer said he did nj care ftp what became OF the
body, if he could only find q substitute, and draw
himself out of the hanging; for it did Mt become a
Deacon of the Church 10 be tumbling at natter
with mans head in IL.
The Professor now set TO work ana nahuiec
tured galvanic battery. which the citizens crowd
work in Such n manner, and that then me man
would do iuS and again So until they had derived
n perfect comprehension through succession Vi
lucid thuss and SOS, OF the whole capaoliity OF
the wonderful machine. The same mlschlei-iovlng
wag who first set the Professors wits a'gadding,
told him that as he would probably have the greatest
audience that had ever gathered together In Cncin-
natl he ought to select the largest building in town
and secure it for their reception He advised hlm
TO apply without delay TO Rev. Dr. WArsoN Tor
the oan Of the Presbyterian Church. lhe credulous
Professor never taking into consideration the ridlcu
lousness of such request, started directly for me
Doctors house and asked to see him on most earnest
business KILMARNocK stated his errand 10 the
worthy Divine who, being most Jealous anti
hanger, and having preached several powerinI
sermons which he thought ought to have brought
the whole city to his opinion, was at hrst
struck dumb with amaZement al what he consld-
cred gross insult, well sncrliegous proiana
tion. Bu, the Professor mistakng the pause tor
of consideration, poured forth torrent OF what
he supposed most cogent arguments; each one act
ing as n greater shock 10 the Doctors excited ieel
ing and adding fresh fGe 10 his ire. Being near
sighted, he did not at first perceive the niamed and
swollen countenance of the Minister who, being eN-
tremelv fat and ot cholcric temperament, looked
like man suddenly seized with ht OF apopiexy.
At length he found words to exclaim - Do you
think would turn the House of Con into butcher =
shop-a dissecting room! Out of my house this IN
s,ant Sir
Bat to return" As the time appointed for the
execution drew nigh many people prophesled that
the old Dutchinans resolution would evaporate out
he never for en- instant wave-ed He seemed 10 take
strange and unaccountabe interest in all the pre-
parations; inquiring every day if the scatfod was
erected whether the Sheriff had go; 4 substitute,
and how much he had agreed TO pay him, Sc.-
When answered in the affirmative the old wretch
would chuckle with horrible glee. and say 20 him
SELF .Goo, goot! The eventiul day III length
arrived. which the law and his own will had de-
cided should be his last. Early in the morning he
was rcmarking TO the jailkeeper that as 1t was TO
be his last breakfast, he should expect goot one
when at that moment KILMARyoc1 entered Yes
sad the Professor, si'c him broiled chicken
hoc-cake and guide cup ocoffee; and inter,
rupted the old man, plenty tobacker.' Ay,'
chimed in the Professor, and some tobacco; The
pur auld creature should haze every thing he wants
moo, and make me sponsible for the indebtedness
There never had been, believe, hanging IN
Cincinnati before and the Sheriff had erected
new galows with an improved trap, Tine whole
painted black, and iamiliarly denominsted The