Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1846-09-09
BUTTONS.

Oauoie family, has taken 10 the Hermit of
OF Belly-lu!e. Here is specimen.
You heard US ialka Aye, sir, the old
story, the old grievances sir. 'twixt man
and woman said the hermit.
The hermit shaking his head and groan.
ing, d-"Buttons."
Buttons" said we.
The hermit drew himself closer to the
table, and spreading his arms upon it, lean
ed forward with the serious air of a man
preparing to discuss a grave thing.
''Butions," then clearing his throat, he
began: SIN the course of your long. and
| hope wellspent lie, has it never come
with the thunderbolt conviction upon you,
that all washerwomen, cear,starchers.
getters up OF fine linen, or under whatev-
er name Ewes daughiers-for as Eve
brought upon us the stern necessity Of u
shirt, 1t is bu. just that her girls should
wash 1t; under whatever name they cleanse
and beauIlly flax or cotton, that they are
all under some compact, implied or solemn
iy entered upon among themselves and
Their non.washirg, non-starching, non get
llng up siserhood, and By means subtle,
and almost morally ceitain, they shall coax.
worry, dive all old bachelors and widow
ers soever; into the pound Of rredeemable
wedock. Has the truth of this never
struck your"
''f1ow!-by what meaEsn' we asked.
"Simply by buttons" answered the her
NIT, bringing down his clenched fist upon
the table.
We knew il; we looked incredulous.
''See here, sir" said the hermit, lean
ing stlll farther upon the table, II will take
man at the outstart of life, set his hal
acock almaIrimony; mn who de6es Hy>
man and all his wicked wiles. Neverthe.
less, sir, the man must wear shirt; the
man must have a washerwomaR. Think
you that the shirt returning from the tub,
never wants one--two--ihree buttons?-
Always, sir, always ] have lived in The
bustllng world, and seen. ay, much as any
one, OF lis manifold wickedness.
swell, the man; the buttoness man at
first calmly demonstrates with his laundress
He paihe;ically wrings his wrists at her and
shows her his condition. The woman
turns upon him her wainscot face and prom.
lscs amendment The thing shall never
happen again. The week revolves. Think
you The next shirt has It's lawful number Of
buttons? Devil bill"
Starting at the word, we looked, we fear
reproachiuly, in the Hermil's face.
pardon me; let it be as il had never
been said" cried the anchorie, a deeper
tint dawnng in his face and his ewes look
ing suddenly moist. "Pardon me but the
heart has strange chords; and even buttons
may sometimes shatler them"
We bowed and begged the Hermit TO
proceed.
"Well, SIR" said our host, after an eff.
tort, ''week after week the poor man
wtan3!es with his washerwolnan; from the
very genileness Of every maiden, corr.
plant, The remonStrance rises to Il hurri.
cane OF abuse; and still the washerwoman,
II would seem by an oath to her unmar-
rIed sisterhood, brings home no shirt com
pete in all It's buttons. Man, the ferces,
OF S kind, cannot always rage. He be-.
comes tired; ashamed of clamor. He
signs and bears his buttonless fate. HIS
tho'is take new turn. His heart opens;
he Is sollened, subdued: and in this. his
hour OF weakness, a vo:cc-a demon voice
VIII sPsrs to him, Fond foolish, man
why ttus! Thy buttons 10 an alien Why
helpless depend upon the needle and thread
oil one who loves not thee, bu, thy shilling
Take wife, have a woman of thy own.
and one who shall cafe Tor thy buttonsr'
The icmpter IS strong Man smiles dis.
trusiiuIly, but still he smiles That very
night, ii SO happens he goes TO a house
warming. lie is partner al cards with
Miss nifty. She never did look so tooth
some. And then her voice, 'twould coax
Il nail out of IA heart Of oak. The man
thinks Of his buttons; and before he leaves
The house Kitty has been brought 10 con-
Tess that she does MIG know bul she may
marry or she may not"
''lt is possb!e?" we cried with laugh
"Sir," said The Hermit, PTS not hing
TO idly laugh at. Take fifty matches,and
be assured of it, if you sift 'em well all of
forty al Least, you'll find buttons in some
shape; al the bottom of 'em."
alt may be-" said we.
"lt is crled," the Hermit with emotion.
"Asses are led by the nose, men by their
buttons"
There was dead pause. The Hermit
had us in his clnch.
A DAMPER To ELooUENcE.-Amu
scenes occur occasionally in grave assem,
blies. During the late session of The New
Hampshire Legislature, newly fedged
orator rose 10 make his maiden speech in
the House o! Representatives. A bill had
been brought Ia 10 tax bank dividends. and
watching his opportunity, the debmant ad-