The Columbian fountain., 1846-02-07
ISCELLANEOUS
ETHAN. SPIKES

Maine is great State There's no doubt
of it. 1t is farther 6 down east 2 than either
of the twenty-six-to to say nothing of Tex
as and California. It grows large pine tim
ber, and more of it; the latest hogs, the
largest squashes, and the prettiest girls in
all creation are found within its borders,
Maine what olher State ever had an
Aroostook war; And we'll thank any one
to show us Legislature in the whole
Union that has come up to the Oregon
question with such chivalrous disregard of
the British Lion, and the screaming of the
Russian Eagle! Right in the very teeth
and claws of these, our" Gineral Court" !"
has ehalked for "Foriy-aine degrees nine
minutes" not second less
We have been induced to come out thus
strong by the fact that there is an effort
making TO put it down from the condition
and rank which we legitimately hold as the
crak State-No. l. In proof of this posi-
ton, we have only to point the reader to
the numerous papers abroad in which are
chronicled, Mammoth Hogs, : Enormous
Turnips, = Mastadon Pumpkins, &C. SIC.
the products of other States, and insultingly
challenging the world to beat them. Beat
them! Why old Cumberland will give any
other country this side the Rocky Noun
tains three weeks start, and grow their hogs,
turnips, pumpkins, and what-not, into small
potatoes any time. In the vegetable and
animal kingdoms we cotton 10 none.
Again, we have frequently seen anecdotes
tending to illustrate the native talent and
cuteness of the universal Yankee nation,
but some how or other the scenes are al
ways laid in other States, and the actors
are Connecticut pedlars, boosters, corncrac-
kers, or suckers, just as though we hadn't
screamers-real live hosses down here.
Why, its only the other day we.saw an
exulting account headed cole Virginny
never tire" setting forth that son Of the
Old Dominion swallowed swapping turtle,
and washed him down with quarts of WI his
key. Well, what of it, we havn't got any
swapping turtles here, but if Ole Virginny
wants to try it, let her send on her cham
pion with a bag full of the varmints s-and
our word for it, we'll find him an antago-
mist that will swallow two to his one
Speaking of thus reminds us of our old
friend, Ethan Spike, up in Oxford county.
Ethan's team altogether, and has skinned
more bears than any other man in the State
beside holding a Justice Of the Peace's
commission. A few years ago he was
candidate for the Legislature, and during
the campaign found it necessary to come to
Portland 1t was his first visit to the city,
and he saw good many strange things and
had a number Of queer adventures, all of
which he. afterwards related to US. And
although it may be a breach of confidence,
we will venture to let the reader have one
of them as nearly as possible in Ethan's
own language.
Portland, y said he, otis the all darnd-
est place ever seed. was down there
in '33, to see little about my goin' to the
! Legislator, and such rum time as had
you never heer'n tell on, the ice-c cream
scrape | had :"
We answered in the negative, and he
resumed
Wal, I'd bin down thar two or three
days, pokin' about in every hole an corner,
and thought I'D seed jist every thing thar
was to be seed. But one day towards sun
down | was, going by shop in Middle
street that looked wonderfully sick-there
was all manner of candy am peppermints
an jessamints an what nots at the wnders.
An thin thar war signs with goold letters
on to them, hangn' round the door, telin'
how they sold Soda, Mead, an Ice-ceam
thar. | says TO myself, | have heern
good deal about this 'ere ice-eream. an
now III be darned if won't see what
they're made on So put my hands into
my pockets am walked in kinder careless
an says to a chap standing behind the
counter
do yer keep any ice-creams here 7"
Yes, sir" says he, chow much III you
have?"
I" | considered mint an says I-"a
pint, sir"
The young feller's face swelled out, an
he like to hav' laughed right out, but arter
a while he asked
Did you say pint, sir Z"
" SArtin," says ], 81 but p'raps you don't
retail, 50 don't mind takin quart"
Wal, don't you think the feller snorted
right out. Tell yer what, it made me fell
sort o. pison, an give him look that
made him look sober in about mint, an
when clinched my fist and looked SO at
him, (here Mr.. Spike favored us with