Wisconsin herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1846-1849, 1846-08-01
The HypOCEn0Ildriac.
BY THOMAS HOOD.

to that melancholy humor cai'eo ny
pochondriacs, and who was cured by
the Press. Many a semi-comic scene
there was between the master and his
man Roger, a confidential servant OF
the old scoool, shrewd, trusty, and as
blunt as spade.
"Well, Roger" the old man would
saw, after a very long and solemn shake
of the head, 81 am going at last"
"Glad on ito Swaff'ham, Of
course?"
"No, Roger, no--to another world"
.sWhat, to Ameriky?"
sNo, to another and a better one.
Roger, to the land Of spirits"
"Ah, that's o'missing your brandy
you be low, you be-"
ssNot so low as | shall be Roger, |
am at deaths door, have double
knocked, and am scraping my shoes,
and it will soon be, walk in. Now
Roger, remember when I'm gone that
Mr.. Brewley--"
ayes, | know. He has got the last
of your last wills. Your nevy will
come into the land, and your niece is
to have your personal bulk"
"No, Roger, that was the will be-
fore. I've made another since-but no
matter. Pve done with money and
land. All ! require now is a little
turt.v
swell, there's whole stack on it
in the rick-yard, and when you've
burnt o. that"
"Never, Roger, never! Pm burnt
out my self-quite down in the socket.
and shall go off like snuff. | am
ready, Roger, for the garner"
ayes. yes, and the corn for the sick
lie, and grass for the scythe, and ripe
plum for the basket, and,a brown loaf
for hopping the twig. ! know all that
by heart"
sG'm a dying man, Roger, and you
know it. / haven't twelve hours to
live-no, not six, before | pay the
debt of nature"
"Dang the debt o. natur! / wish
you had none to settle but nern. But
it amt due yet, it arn't."
"Duc and over due, Roger. The
receipts made out, and before to-mor-
row morning you will have another
MASTER"
"No shan't; harn't had no warn
in'."
"But have Roger. Here, feel my
pulse. It stopped just now for two
minutes and aghalf The circulation
is at stand still, the heart cannot per-
form its functions"
GAIL moonshine, master. Its per-
forming its funkings at this mint. It's
going as regular as an eightday clock
| can almost hear UNI tick"
"No, Roger--tbat's impossible"
els it? Then why do DR.. Darby
try to hear it with his telcscope9'
Kaleidoscope, Roger, Ste-thos cope.
There may be hypertrophy for all that
But you know | can't argue with you.
My lungs are quite gone-quiteH'
"No wonder-you've been blowin'
'em up this ten years"
&" Thy're destroyed. Pulmonary
consumption has set in"
"Yes, yes, l know they're full of
Tuber-roses."
"Tubercles man; and my liver is in
no better state"
"No, they're schismatic. And you've
got an absence in your inside
San .abscess."
DWELL, an abscess in your stomach,
and can't digest properly for want OF
grass and water"
"a deficiency ofthe gastric juice
1t is all too true, Roger. Every or
gan haveis out of order"
.Then / wouldn't play on 'em. =
Well what next? Why you've got a
gatherin' in your lumberin progress
ses."
:'Lumbar process
"Which in course affects the head &
SO you've got confusion of water on
the brain. Then you've had an cleo
trio fit, and three parallel strokes; and
there's your stertain ague, and the an
termediate fever"
"lntermittingn
'FThen there's the inflammation Of
your mueus member"
"Membrane; membrane
"Well membrane. Next there's
your vertical headache--"
"Vertigo."
i "And the Lord knows what in your
intestates and vesceruces. Then there's