Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1845-03-26
From the NJ. Y. Spirn of the Times.

We published week or two since, a
mos, amusing story of one Judge Dougass,
Of Illinois, in which That gentleman having
accepted the hospitality of a large family,
occupying single room, was obliged to
Guntress and "hop inlo bed" in the pre-
sence of young lady. This young lady
The Judge describes as "Venusin linsey-
woolsey-plump as pigeon. and smooth
as persimmon. The Judge himself was
"a small man physically speaking" and
the idea Of guing to he'd before The young
Iady-a modest, sensible girl, who from
habit, thought nothing Of The circumstance
turned his head topsy luryy. The idea
Of pulling off his boots before her was death,
and as to doffipg his other fixns, he said be
would sooner have taken of his legs with
hand saw At length the tremendous
crisis approached. The Judge had par
:ialIy undrcssed, entrenched behind chair
which offered no more protection from
the enemy" than the ruugs of ladder.
Then he had dead open space Of len
feet between The chair and The bed-a sort
of Bridge Uf Lodi passage, as he describes
it, which be was forced to make, exposed
to a cruel raking fire, fore aud aft, The
Judge proceeds:
Body, limbs, and head, setting up bust.
mess on one hundred and seven AMI a half
pounds, all told. of flesh, blood aud bones,
cannot, individually, or collectively, sol up
any very osteutalious pre'ensioHs, be-
lieve The young lady must have been set
Ting in her mind some philosophical point
on that head. Perhaps her sense Of JUS
tice wished to assure ITSELF Of perfectly
fair distribution Of the respective motives.
Perhaps she did not feel easy I'LL she knew
that kind Providence had not added TO
general poverty individual wrong. Ger
tain it was, she seemed rather pleased with
her speculations: for when | arose from
stopping posture, finally, wholly disencum-
bered Of cloth. noticed mischievous sha.
dows playing abou! the corners of her
mouth. II was The moment | bad deter
mined to direct her eye 10 some astonish-
ing circumstance out Of the window. But
The young lady spoke at the critical mo-
ment. Mr.. Douglass she observed, you
hare got mighty small chance Of legs
hcreh
Men seldom have any notion of their
own powers. never made any preten-
sions 10 skill in ground and lofty ,umb-
ling ;" but it is strictly true, | cleared al
one bound, the open space, planted myself
on The centre Of the he'd, and was buried in
the blankets in twinkIing."
This story of Judge Douglass has sGg.
gesied to Field, Of The 81. Louis Re
veiI!e." the following adventure Of Mis-
souri, politician
The "genteman from Illinois" is moi
the only gentleman whose legs have led
him into embarrassment A political
friends Of ours, equally happy in his man-
ners, il not in his party, among The Mis-
souri, constituency. found himself, while
canvassing the Stale, last summer, for
Congress, in even more peculiar per-
picking predicament than The Illinois judge.
There is spo, in The south western part
Of this Stale known as The Fiery Fork of
Honey RGn!-a delicious locality. no
doubt, as the run OF (" honey" is of course
accompanied by corresponding flow of
milk p" and mixture of milk and honey,
or, at any rate, honey and "peach" is the
evidence Of sublunary Gonientment, every
place where they have preaching!
Honey Ron" is further chrislianized
By the presence Of au extremely hospitable
family, whose mansion, comprising one
aparmenl+neithcr more or less-is renown-
ed for being never shut against The travel
Ter, and so our friend found il during the
chill morning air, al the expense of rheu-
matsm in his shoulder, its numerous un-
affected cracks and spaces clearly show.
ing, that dropping the latch was useless
formality. The venerable host aud hostess,
in their one apartment, usually enjoy the
society of Two sons, four daughters, sundry
dogs and" niggcrs" and as many dodgers
as may deem it prudent TO risk The some
what equivocal allotment Of sleeping part
ners. On the night in question, our friend.
after a hearty supper Of han, and eggs,
and canvass of Fiery Forkers, the old
lady having pointed ont his he'd, fell very
weary, and only looked for an opportunity
40 turn" though the Mosquitoes we're
lrumping all sorts ofwrath, and no net ap
peared to bar them. The dogs flung
themselves along The floor, or again rose,
reslessly, and sought the door step; the
nisgers stuck their feet in the yet warm
ashes the old man stripped, unscrupu.
lously, and sought his share of the one col.
lapsed looking pillow, and sons, cavalierly,
followed his example leaving the old wo
man." gals !" and strangers, TO settle any
question Of delicaey that might arise.
The candidate yawned, looked at his
bed, went TO the door. looked atlhe daush-
ters; iually in downright recklessness,
sealing himself upon the downy and pHll-
ing of his coal. Well, he pulled of his
coat, and he folded his coat, and then he
yawned, and then he whistleG, and then
ne. called The Old ladys attention to the
fact, that it woald never do.to sleep in his
muddy trowsers; and then he "undid his