The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1845-05-17
. HONEY RUN"

"Mr. Douglass, you HAVE got a mighty small
chance Of legs here''-Judge Douglass Story
The "gentleman from Illinois, is not the only
one whose legs have led him into embarrassment!
political friend of ours, equally happy in his
manners, if not in his party, among the Missouri
constituency, found himself, while canvassing the
State last summer for Congress, in even more
peculiarly perplexing predicament than the Illinois
Judge.
There is spot in the southwestern part Of this
State known as ''Fiery Fork Of Honey Run!'-a
DELICIOUS locality, no doubt, as the run of ofhoney''
is of course accompanied by corresponding flow
Of "milk," and mixture of milk and honey, or at
any rate, honey and "peach,' is the evidence OF
sublunary contentment, every place where they
have preaching!
"Honey Run" is further chrstianized by the
presence of an extremely hosptable family, whose
mansion, comprising one partment-neither more
or iess-is renowned for being never shut against
the traveller, and SO our friend found it during the
chill morning air, at the expense of rheumatism
in his shoulder, its numerous unaffected cracks and
spaces clearly showing that dropping the latch was
= useless formaty. The venerable host and host
ess, IN their one apartment, usually enjoy the soci
ETY. of two sons, four daughters, sundry dogs and
"niggers," and as many dodgers as may deem it
prudent to risk the somewhat equivocal allotment
of sleeping partners. On the night in question,
our friend, after hearty supper Of ham and eggs,
and canvass of the Fiery Forkers. the old lady
having pointed out his bed, felt very weary and
only looked for an opportunity to "turn in" though
the mosquitoes were trumping all sorts of wrath,
and no net appeared 10 bar them. The dogs flung
themselves along the floor again rose restlessly
and sought the door step; the niggers' stuck their
feet in the yet warm ashes; the old man stripped,
unscrupulously aud sought his share of one COL
lapsed looking pillow, and the sons, cavaerIy,
followed his example, leaving the old woman,
"gals'' and stranger" to settle any question of
decacy that might arise
The candidate yawned, look ed at his bed, went
to the door, looked at the daughters; finally, in
downright recklessness, seating himself upon the
"downy," and pulling of his coat Well, he
pulled off his coat-and he folded his coa,-and
then he yawned-and then he whistled-and then
he called the old ady's attention to the fact that
it would never do to sleep n his muddy trowsers,
and then he "undid" his vest-and then he whis.
tied again-and then, suddenly, an idea of her
lodger's possible embarrassment seemed to flash
upon the old woman, and she cried
"Gals. just turn your backs round till the stra,,-
ger gifts into bed"
The backs were turned and the stranger did get
into bed in "less than no time" when the hostess
again spoke:
"Reckon, stranger, as you aint used to us, you'd
better kicer up till the gals undress, hadn't you?"
By this time our friends sleepy fit was ver and
though he did "kiver up as desired, some how
or other, the old counterpane was equally kind in
hiding his bushes, and favoring his gances The
nymphs were soon slowed away, for there were
neither bustles to unhitch nor corsets to unlace,
when their mamma, evidently anxious not 10
smother her gues, considerably relieved him.
"You can unkiver now, stranger; Pm married
folks, and you aint afear'd O. me, | reckon'"
The stranger happened to be "married folks"
himself; he unkivered and turned his back with
true connubal indifference, as far as the ancient
lady was Concerned, but with regard to the "gas,"
he declares that his halfraised curiosity inspired
the most tormentIng dreams Of m1nlaids that he
ever experienced. 81 Louis Rrreiile.