Mississippi Democrat. (Carrollton, Miss.) 1844-18??, 1845-05-21
MtsrFIIaNp
Mas. cAUDLE's CURTAIN LECTURES.
On Mr.. Caudlc's Shirt Buttons.


On Mr.. Caudlc's Shirt Buttons.
There, Mr.. Caudle, hope you're in a
little better temper than you were this
morning? There--you needn't begin TO-
whistle. But it's like you. can't speak
that you don't try TO insult me. Once,
used to say you were the bes, creature
living: now, you get quite a fiend. DO
let you rest? No, won't let you rest.
It's the only time have TO talk to you,
and you shall hear me! Pm put upon all
day long: it's very hard if can't speak
word at night and it isn't often open
my mouth goodness knows!
"Because once in your lifetime your
shirt wanted button, you must almost
swear the roof off the housed You didn't
swear9 IIa, Mr.. Caudle you don't know
what you do when you're in passion. =
You were not in a passion, wern't you?
Well, then, don't know what passion is
land | think | ought to by this time.
I've lived long enough with you, MIR. Cau-
die, 10 know that.
Ii's a pity you hadn't something worse 10
complain Of than button off your shirt.
If you'd some wives, you would, ! know.
Pm sure iI'm never without needle and
thread in my hand. What with you and
the children, Pm made perfect slave OF
And what's my thanks? Why, if once in
your life buttons off your shirt--what do
you cry soh for2 say once, Mr.. Cau-
die, or twice, or three times at most. I'm
sure, Mr.. Caudle, no mans buttons in the
world are better looked after than yours.
only wish I'd kept the shirts you had
when you were first married! ! should
like to know where we're your buttons
then!
e"Yes, ii worth talking Of! But that's
how you always try 10 put me down. You
\ fly into rage, and then if only try to
speak you won't hear me. That's how
you men always will have all the talk to
h yourselves. a poor woman isn't allowed to
get a word in.
"a nice notion you have Of wife, to
suppose she's nothing TO think Of but her
husbands shirt buttons. A pretty notion,
indeed, you have of marriage. Ha! il
poor women only knew what they had tc
60 through! What with buttons, and one
thing and another! They'd never tie them
selves TO the best man in the world I'm
sure. What would they do, Mr.. Caudlei
Why, do mnch better without you, I'm
certain.
sand IFS my belief, after all, that the
button wasn't off The shirt: it's my belle
that you pulled il of, that you might hay'
something 10 talk about. Oh, you're ag
grayating enough, when you like, for. any
thing! All | know is, it's very odd tina
the button should be off the shirt; for In
sure no woman's greater slave TO he
husband thanI am. ! only say it's yer.
odd.
However, there's one comfort, i can
last long. I'm worn to death with you
temper, and sha'nt trouble you a grea
while. Ha, you may laugh And dar
say YOU would laugh! Pve no doubt
= That's your love--that's your feeling
know I'm sinking every day, though
say nothing aboutit. And when I'm gon'
We shall see how your second wife wi
iook after your buttonsi You'll find OF
? TIC difference then, Mrs. Caudle; you
'hlnk Of me then for then, hope, you
newer have . blessed button 10 your bacl
"No, Pm not vindictive woman, Nj
- caudle; nobody ever called me that b,
ps ycu What do you sayl Nobody ev,
d. new 50 much Of met That's nothing
NJ al DO with It. Ha! Iwould'nt have 70,
Il 'gsrayating temper, Caudle, for mines
~ spld- It's good thing I'm not worr.
ng as you are--or nice house there
@Setwcen us. only wish you'd had