Arkansas intelligencer., 1845-05-10
A CURTAIN LECTURE.

last--may. perhaps, be read with uieres, both by
the married and the single. Some people say II
bears Il close resemblance 10 what they themselves
have heard. Others shrug their shoulders and
say never a word. This lecture comes under the
| head of "hen.pecking.'
ME-. CAupLB HAS REMAINED DOWN STAIRS TILL PAST
ONE, WITH FRIEND.
81 PRETTY time of night 10 ccme home to bed,
| Mr. Caudle. Ugh! As cold, as any ice. Enough
10 give any woman her death, I'm surc. What
shouldn't have locked up The Goals, indeed! II
hadn't I've no doubt the fellow would have s,ad
all night. It's all very well for you Mr. CaudIe,
to bring people home.-but wish vcn'd think first
what's for supper. That beautiful leg of pork
would have served for our dinner to- morrow
and now its gone. | can't keep the house upon
the money! and won't pretend 20 do ii. if you
bring mob Of people every night to clear the cup
board.
81 wonder who'll be so ready to give you a sup
per when YOU want one, for want one you will IN
! loss YOU change your plans. Don't tell me!
know I'm right. You'll first be eaten up, and
then yoa'l be laughed at. know the world
No. indeed. Mr. Caudle, don't think i'll OF every.
BODY; don't say that. But ! can't see leg OF
pork eaten up in that way, without asking myself
what its all TO end in if such things 90 on!--
| And then he must have pickles. too! CouIdn be
content with my cabbage--no, Mr.. CaudIe won
lot YOU 90 to sleep, after you've kept me awake
ill this time. Why did keep awake' How do
you suppose | could 60 20 sleep, when knew that
man was below drinking up your substance IN
brandy .and water! for he couldn't be content upon
decent, wholesome g IN. Upon nv word. you
ought TO be Il rich man, Mr.. Caud'e iou have
such very fine friends wonder who gives you
brandy when YOU 20 out!
"No, indeed. he couldn't be content with my pick.
led cabbage-and | should like 10 know who
makes betler--but he must have walnutS.
And you too like fool--now. don't YOU think
to stop me. Mr.. Caudle: poor woman may be
,rampIed TO death. and never say wOrd--you.
TOO. ike a fool wonder who'd do it for you-
insist upon the girl going out for picked walnuts.
And il such night too, with snow upon the ground.
Yes you're a man Of fine feelings, you are, Mr..
,'aude but the world doesn't know you as know
you-fine feelings indeed to send the poor girl
but, whom told you and told your friend, too--a
pretty brute he is, I'm surc-,hat the poor girl
had got cold and chbains on her toes. But
snow what will be the end Of that; she'll be laid
up an we shall have nice doctors bill. And
you'll pay it, can tell you--for wont.
| "Wish YOU were out Of the word! OH yes,
that's all easy. I'm sure / might wish it. Don't
3 swear ia t1dt ufVUciui way. hin you uiT1lu tlhl
tho bed will open and swallow yon! And don't
swing about in that way. Tint will 10 good.
That won't bring back the leg Of pork,--and the
brandy you've poured down both Of your throa,s.
Oh. know it! I'm sure oft. lony recoIIected
it when I'd got into bed, and if it hadn't been
so cold, you'd have seen me down stairs again,
can tell you-I recoIIected, it and pretty two
hours I've passed, that left the key in the cup.
oard,-and | knew i'll could see BY the man
ner of YOU when YOU came into the ROOM know
you've got at the other bottle. However, there's
one comfort: YOU told me 10 send for the best BRAN
dy-tnc very bcst--for your other friend. who
called last Wednesday. lla! ha! 1t was Brit
ish--the cheapest Brilish--and nice and i'll hope
the pair of you will bo tomorrow.
"rhere's only the bare bone Of the leg of pork:
but you'll get nothing else for dinner, can tell
YOU. It's a dreadful thing that the poor children
should 90 without,--but, if they have such a faith.
er they. poor things, must suffer for IT,
"Nearly whole leg Of pork and pint of brsn.
dy! A pint of brandy and leg of pork. Aleg
of--Ieg- g-leg--plnt-'
And mumbling the .ylIables, says Mr.. Caude's
MSS, she went TO seep.--Punch.
Indian Wa.-We copy the following good spe-
cmen of Indian Wit, from an article IN the N. T.,
Spri, of the Times:
"There is little Joke thcy tell on one Of the Of
ticers which is most too good 10 he lost This is
the way it goes, and if true is an excellent thing.
He was sent out with party of Dragons which
was to protect the Pottawatamcs while hunting
from the Sioux. One of the Indians who was
along with him was an exceedingly ugly fellow,
with face that was out Of all sorts of proportion,
md which had that snguariy hideous expression
as if he was continually standing in smoke
The officer alluded TO was no beauty either. In
fact. even in Maine where the men have not
great deal 10 boast of in the way of good looks, he
would have broken up town meeting, which GER
lninIy is equivalent TO saying tha he was not par.
tcuIary handsome. One day when the Indians
we're all together. he thought he would have good
Joke at the old fellows expense. So he got up
and in a very pompous manner made a speech
He told them thal in bis country it had been a
me.honoured custom for the homeliesl man in
every community 10 be presented with an immense
Jacknite. which he was TO carry Until some one
more ugly than himself should have an undou5ted
title to it. That he had regretted that amongst
tho other usages they (the lndinns) had received
and adopted from their white brethren. this should
have been so entirely forgotten. 1t panied him,