Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1845-04-04
From the n. Y. Spirit of The Times.

We published week or two since, a most
amusing story of one Judge Douglass, Of lii
nois, in which that gentleman, having accep-
ted the hospitality Of large family. occupy
ing single room, was obliged to undress and
hop into bed in the presence Of young la
dy. This young lady the Judge describes as
a Venus in linsey -woolsey-plump as pie
geon, and smooth as a persmmon.' The
Judge himself was a small man physically
speaking" and the idea Of going to bed before
the young lady-a modest, sensible girl, who
from habit, thought nothing of the circum-
stance-turned his head topsy-tu The
idea of pulling off his boots before her was
death, and as to doffing his other fxins, he
said he would sooner have taken Oft his legs
with hand saw! At length the tremendous
crisis approached. The Judge had partially
undressed, entrenched behind a chair, which
offered no more protection from the enemy
than the rungs of ladder. Then he had a
dead open space of ten feet between the chair
and the bed-a sort Of Bridge of Lodia pas
sage, as he describes it, which he was forced
to make, exposed to a cruel raking fire, fore
and aft The Judge proceeds:
BODY, limbs, AMI head, setting up bust
ness on one hundred and seven and a half
pounds, all told, of flesh, blood and bones,
cannot, individually or collectively, set up any
very ostentatious pretentions. ] believe the
young lady must have been settling in her
mind some philosophical point on that head.
Perhaps her sense of justice wished to assure
itself of perfectly fair distribution of the re
spective motives. Perhaps she did not feel
easy till she knew that a kind Providence had
not added to general poverty individual wrong.
Certain it was. she seemed rather pleased
with her speculatlons for when arose from
a STOPPING posture, finally, wholly disencnm-
bered of cloth, | noticed mlschlevous shadows
playing about the corners OF her mouth. 1t
was the moment had determined to direct
her eve to some astonishing circumstances out
of the window. But the young lady spoke at
the critical moment. 'Mr. Donglass,' she OBJ
served, you haze got a mighty small chance Of
legs Merer"
Men seldom have any notion of their own
powers. | never made any pretenslons to
skill in ground and lofty tumbling;' but it is
strictly true, cleared at one bound, the open
space, planted myself on the centre of the
bed, and was buried in the blankets in a
twinkling.
This story of Judge Douglass has suggested
to Field, of the St. Louis 'Reveile,' the fol-
lowing adventure of Missouri politician:
lie -HculICI1du llOll AiIIHOIo 10 NV S''N va
| ly gentleman whose legs have led him into
embarrassment! A political friend of ours,
equally happy in his manners, if not IN his
party, among the Missouri constituency, found
himself, while canvassing the State, last sum
mer, for Congress, in even more peculiar
perplexino predicament than the Illinois judge
There is spot in the south western part o.
this State known as the Fiery Fork of Honey
Run "a delicious locality, no doubt, as the
run Of honey is of course accompanied by a
corresponding flow Of milk and mixture OF
milk and honey, or, at any rate, honey and
peach is the evidence of sublunary content.
ment, every place where they have preaching!
| Honey Rum is further christianized by the
presence of an extremely hospltable family
whose mansion, comprising one apartment
neither more or less-is renowned for being
never shut against The traveller, and so on
friend found it during the chill morning air, a
the expense of a rheumatism in his shoulder
its numerous unaffected cracks and spaces
clearly showing, that dropping the latch wa
a useless formalty. The venerable host AM
hostess, in their one apartment, usually EMO.
the society Of two sons, four daughters. sun
dry dogs and sniggers,' and as many dodgers
as may deem it prudent TO risk the somewha
equivocaI allotment Of sleeping partner. o.
the night in question. our friend, after hear
ty supper Of ham and eggs, and canvass 0
Fiery Forkers, the old lady having pointed
out his bed. felt very weary, and only looked
for an opportunity ito turn though the mus
qutoes were trumping all sorts of wrath, AM
no net appeared to bar them. The dogs fun!
themselves along the floor, or again rose, rest
lessly, and sought the door step: the Niger
stuck their feet in the yet warm ashes; tn
old man stripped, unscrupulonsly, and sough
his share of the one collapsed looking pillow
and sons. cavaIerly, followed his example
leaving the old woman, gals and stranger
to settle any question of delicacy that migt
5 arise.
The candidate yawned, looked at his bet
r went 20 the door, looked at the daughters;
; nalfy in downright recklessness, seating hin
self upon the downy and pulling off his Goa
Well, he pulled off his coat, and he folded h
i coat, and then he yawned, and then he whl
r tied, and then he called the old lady's after
n ton to the fact, that it would never do to slice
= in his muddy trowsers; and then he undid h
l. vest, and then he whistled again, and the
e suddenly, an idea Of her lodger's possible ell
D barrassment. seemed to flash upon the old W
e man, and she cried
o Goals, Jest turn your backs round till tt
II stranger gets into bed
% The backs were turned, and the strang
ST did get into bed in less than no time, wh'
IL the hostess again spoke.
j; "Reckon, stranger, as you ain't used to Il
5, you'd better kiver up till the gals undres
d hadn't you -
Il The nymphs were soon slowed away,
u there were neither bustles to hnhitch. nor CT
o. sets to unlace, when their mama, evident
s. anxious not 10 smother her guest, consider
s. bly, relieved him:
IS "You can nnkiver now, stranger; I'm mi
10 ried folks, and you amt afeard Of me, rec
D, emf
l. The stranger happened to be married iol
10 himself; he unkivered and turned ms pa'
er with true cennubial Indifference, as lar as L
in znc;ert adv mas concerned. but with rega