The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1845-07-12
MOUSTACHES.

Respectfully Dedicated to those acho haze more
hair upon their face than brains in Their head
ssHis lawny beard was tn equal grace,
Both of his wisdom and his face
HudiJras
What's them are things growing out of your
upper lip, Mister!' asked country Yankee Of a
coxcomb, whom he met with the ojher day.
{ Srr exclaimed the dandy, fercey raising his
rattan, and bristling up to the nterrogaor what
business is that to you, sari'
'Oh, no business of any consequence, to speak
on replied the Yankee just axed for informa-
ton, not being acquainted with them are things
well, SIR returned the gailaut angily, what
if you amt acquainted with 'em: Must fellow
of your cloth have the impudence TO question a
gentleman Of mine''
9 Is that really your cloth, Mister, or is it tie
tailors" asked the countryman.
The tailor 81" exclaimed the coxcomb iercely,
'what do you mean by that Do you mean 10
insinuate that I-S'death! sar, IN not
well, l thought as much, returned the Yam
kee carelessly sticking his haHds into his breeches
pocket and standing still before the dandy,
thought you never intended to pay for them
'What is that to you whether pay for them or
not' Havn't rightto manage as plea-e with
my tailor to pay him or let it alone'
why, Mister that depends very much on what
sort of bargain you made, If your tailor agrees
to let you cheat him, why that's his look out, not
mine But you havn't told me what you called
them are things on your upper lip
.Sar, you re an impertinent puppy, sar.'
so Iheard you say Now fathers got tarricr
dog-but he don't tarry much, can tell you
he Il kill three rats in two seconds--but as | was
saying, father he's got tarrier dog, that's darncd
rough and hairy about the mouth-Gut Lord he
amt circumstance to you He'd cling his tail
between his legs if he to see you, and cry
ti-ti-ti! and run to the end OF the world without
stopping. My gracious! how like the devil you
do look with them are things
Look! why, sar, they are all the go now
there's no finished gentleman now but what wears
mousaches.'
'Mustycher's do you call em? Well, by hoky |
they are musty and rusty too. They look very
much like the latter end Of our dog s tail when he |
brushes it on the floor. Faugh! wouldn't touch
'em 10 more than
Touch EN-, sar, if you offer to put finger on
them, I'll cane you within an inch of your life
will, sar.'
sWhat, with that are switch, Mister? should
Mt mind it no more than should an oat straw
We'll, sar, touch my moustaches and see if you
don't get it,
Touch your mustychers? Why I'd as lieve
touch two old chaws of tobacker that have just
been spit out Touch 'em, indeed, wouldn't
touch 'em with the tongs. I can't conceive, for
my life, what should induce any human critter to
wear such darned nasty looking things as them
Nasty looking. do you cali 'em' sar, you
have no taste. Nasty looking indeed! Why, sar,
they are all the admiration of the ladies'
Ladies, ha! ha! ha! They must have queer
notion any how. But there are women who are
unaccountably fond of puppies and sich like ami
mails; and have seen 'em fonde and kiss em as
If they were human critters. But, Lord! don't
see how any woman could let her lips come with
in gun shot of yourn. Admiration Of the Iadesn
DO you question what Isay sar"
why, Mister,I don't know what kind of ladies
you have in the city here. But one thing can
tell you-our country girls would not no more let
YOU touch 'em than they would todd-they are
very particular what comes in contact with their
lips. But, Mister, how in the name OF hair and
bristles do you eat' How do you go to work to
get the vittles into your mouth, with them things
hanging over it, like hedge fence over the side