Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1845-08-18
From The 81. Louis R,r,;JL,

KICKING A YANkEE.-A very hand.
some friend OF ours, who, a few weeks 400.
was pokcd out of comfortable Office M the
river, has betaken himself 20 Bangor for a
time, To recover from the wound inflicted up
on his feelings by our 'unprincipled and i'm.
violating administration"
Change ot air must have had an instant eff
feet upon his spirits, for front Galeiia, he writes
us a very amusing letter, which, among other
things, talks of a desperate quarrel which took
place on board the boat, between a real live
dandy tourist, and a real live Yankee settler.
The latter trod on the toes Of the former:
whefeupor, the idfiiiet Threatened TO 'kickh out
OF the cabin" the latter.
You'll kick me out of this cabinc?"
eyes, sir, I'll kick you out of this cabin"
",ioull kick me, Mr.. Hitchcock, out of this
eabing7'
eyes sit, I'll hich you Mr.. Hitchcsck.,
"Wen,' said the Yankee, very coolly, aftef
being perfectly satisfied that ii was himself
who stood in such imminent peril of assault
81 guess, since you talk of kickin," you've
never Heard me tell about old Bradley and my
mare, there 10 hum?'
"No sir, nor do | wish"
"'Wall, guess it won't set You back riiucli,
anyhow, as hickin's generally best to be con
s,dered on. You see, old Bradley is one OF
these sancumonious, l)lg- faced hypoctitcs,
who put on a religious suit every Sabbathday
morning, and with a good deal of scfewin'.
manage to keep it on till after sermon i'm the
afternoon. Wal, he had an old roam mare that
would Jump over any sixteen rail fence i'm Illi-
nois, and open any door in my barn that
hadnta paddock on it. Two or three times |
found her IN my stable, and | told Bradley a.
oout H. ana ne was very sorry-an unruly
animal-would watch her. and a hui lot of
such things, all said a in very serious manner.
with a face twice as long as old Deacon Farr-
ef s on Sabhath-day. l knew all the time he
was lyih so | watched him and his old foam
tn; aud Tor three nights regular, old roam come
to my stable about bed time, and lust at day-
nght, bradley would come and bride her and
ride of. l then just took my old mare down
to the blacksnith's shop, and had some shoes
made, with 'corks' about fout inches long.
and had EN- nailed on To her hind feet. Your
heels, mister, amt nuthin' To 'em. | took her
hum, give her about ten feet of halter and tied
her right i'll the centre of the stable, fed her
well with oats about nine o'clock. and after
takin' a good smoke, went to bed. KNOWN that
my old mare was a truth-tellin' animal. and
that she'd give a good report of herself in the
mornin'.
hadn't got fairly to sleep before the old
woman hunched me and wanted TO know what
on alrth was the matter out at the stable
Says l, go to sleep Peggy, it's nuthin but
hate-she's kickin' off flies, | guess. Purity
soon she hunched me agin, and SAYS she. "Mr.
Hitchcock, du git up and see what in the
world is the matter with Kate, for she's kiCkin'
most powerfully" Lay still, Peggy-katen
take care of herself, | guess" Wal, next
mornin' about daylight, Bradley, with bride
IN hand, cum to the stable, and as true as the
book of Genesis, when he seen the cid roan's
sides, starn and head, he cussed and swore
worse than you did, Mister, when | cum down
on your toes. After breakfast, that mornin'.
Joe Davis cum to my house and saws he.
'bradleys old roans nearly dead-she's cut
all to pieces, and can scarcely move" Il want
TO know" says |, how on airth did II happen?'
Now whilst we was talkin', up cum that ever
iastln hypocrte, Bradley, and says he, "Mr.
Hitchcock, my old roam is ruinedp' "Du tell
says L. She is cut all TO pieces SAYS he;
do YOU know whether she was in your stable
last night!' Wal, Mister, with this | let out:
Do | know it?' The Yankee here in illustra-
ting, made a sudden advance upon the dandy.
who made way for him unconsciously, as il
were-S"do | know il, you no-souled. squash
headed old night-owl y0u!-you ~hay-hookin',
corn-cribbin', fodder-fudgin' cent-shavin',
within, OF nuthin', you? Kate kicks like a
mere dumb beast, but I've reduced the thing
to a science!' The Yankee hao not ceased TO
advance, or the dandy, in his establishment, to
retreat; and now, the motion of the latter be
Ing accelerated by an apparent demonstration
ON the part OF the former to suit the action to
the word, he found himselfin the "social hall :"
tumbling backwards over a pile of baggage,
and tearing the knees Of his pants as he scram.
bled up, a perfect scream of laughter stunned
him from all sides. The dcfeatwas total. A
few moments afterwards he was seen dragging
his own trunk ashore" while Mr.. Hitchcock
finished his story on the boiler-deck.