Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-12-04
Conversation sctween two HACK
ncy Coach Horses.


ncy Coach Horses.
KINDLY COMMUNICATED BY OUR pe0 TOBY.
/ DEAR. SIR.-I was sitting the other
evening at the door Of my kennel,
thinking Of the dog days and smoking
my pipe, blessings on you, master, for
teaching me that artD when one of
your proSpectuses was put intomy paw
by spaniel that lives as pet-dog in
nobleman's family. Lawk, sir! what
misiortunes can have befaien you,
that you are obleeged TO turn author3
remember the poor devil as used
to supply us with diaiect--what a face
he had! 1t was like a mou,h-organ
turned edgeways; and he looked as
hollow as the big drum, but warn't
half so round and noisy. You can't
have dwindled down to that, surely!
| couldn't bear TO see you hump and
pars pendu'a CHATS dog LATIN shrunk
up like dried almonds, and titivated
out in rusty-fusty toggery-Tm sure |
couldn't! The very thought of it is
like pound weight at the end of my
tail.
l whined like any thing, calling 10
my missus--for YOU must know that
I've married as handsome Scotch ter
rier as you ever see. "Vixen." saysI,
"hcre's the poor old governor up at
last--I knew that Police Act would
drive him to something desperate"
"Why he hasn't hung himselfin ern-
est, and summoned you nhis inquest!"
exclaimed Mrs. Il.
"Worse nor that" says I she's turn
ed author, and in course il stewed up
in some very elevated apartment du.
ring this blessed season of the year,
when all nature is wagging with de-
light, and the fairs is on, and the police,
don't want nothing TO do to warm 'em,
and consequcntially sees no harm in a
muster of infantry in bye-street.s It's
very lawful"
Vixen sighed and scratched her car
with her right leg, so | know'd she'd
something i'll her head, for she always
does that when anything tickles her.
''Toby.' says she, Ego and see the old
gentleman; perhaps it might comfort
him to larrup you little"
"Very WE'LL" says /, 'I'll be off at
once; SO put me by a bone or two for
supper, should any come out while Pm
gone; and if you can get the puppies
to sleep before | return, l shall be so
much ohleeged to you" Saying which.
/ toddIed off for Wellingion-street. /
had just got to the coach-stand at Hyde
Park Corner, when who should / see
labelled as a waterman but the one
eyed chap we once had as orchestra
he as could only play "Jim Grow" and
the "Soldier Tired" Thinks |, may
as well pass the compliment Of the day
with him; so crceps under the hack
Iney-coach he was standing alongside
on, intending to surprise him; but just
as was about to pop out he ran of the
stand to un-nosebag a cab-horse.-
Whilst ! was waiting for him to come
back, i hears the ofi-side horse in the
vehicle make the following remark
Offside horse - (t,oisting his tail
about like any thing. J-Curse the
flies!
Nedr-side horse. You may say that.
l'vc had one fellow tickling me this
hal fhour.
OG.side horSe.-Ours is horrid
profession! Phcw! the sun actually
penetrates my vertebre.
Mear-side hoy8e.-.Werterbee! what's
that?
OG.side horSe-(i mpatienfiy. J -
The spine, my good fricnd-(whish!
,DhtSh!J
Near-Side horse. Ali il is shame
fnl thing to dock Us as they docs.-If
the marrow in ones backbone should
melt, il would be sartain to run ont at
the tip of e'stail. say, how's your
feedP
Off side hor5e.-Vcry Indifferent
the chaf predominates-(m J.
not bene by any means.
Near-Side horse Beany! Lord bless
your ignorance, should be satisfied if
lheJ d only make it oaty now and then.
How long have you been ia the hack
ney lincl
Ofsfde horse II have occupied my
present degraded position about two
years. Little thought my poor mamma,
when | was foaled, that should ever
come TO this.
Near-side horse.-Ah, il amt very