The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1845-07-12
WlS0lAILILANIA0USo
Short Patent Sermon.

Uon'I tell me you haven't 90, time
That other 'hings claim youl attention
p, There's not the least reason or rhyme
In the wisest excuse you can mention.
| Don, tell me about 'o,her fish,
!, Your duty is done when you AuY 'en
And you never will relish the dish,
! Unless you've WOMAN TO fry EN-
u My AEARERs--l have no doubt that al
ter you have heard my discourse. you vii
ask in your minds whether your presche
has taken unto himself wife, and is now
living in the tall clover of connubial bliss
,hs. he breaches thus. Therefore an
swer belore,ime, No, Butt but have 90
measured for one, and expec. TO conluga,,
as soon az my somewhat diverged rays o
affection can be brought lille more 10 a
focus through The burning lens Of love.
deem it the duty o: all 10 get married-oncs
in their lile-lime a, leas, 1t is but yield
ing obedience 10 The wise commands Of ma.
,ure. Every gander has his goose, and
the bird, ell mate al proper season.
Whoever heard Of an old gsnder going
down 10 the grave gosin!essunless he was
presented from filtlling his destination by
The arbitrary customs Of artificial society ?
II is God who tells The brute creation 10
cohabit sad propagate, without The fuss and
dmmery Of a long and tedious coursAip
and they implicitly obey, even TO wood.
louise. fhe ssme God tells you to marry,
and do tho best yea can to be fruitful, bu,
you don't always de- il. You frame SOM
yc,uy vAru'u Ui olner- sucn as'i nave 9th
er fsh to fry,''too busy to think Of it now,
circumstances won't permit at present
I'll think of il by and by &C.. and so you
lrudge ou, ,hso' the wide world alone from
The mcreGian OF manhood 10 tho sunset ol
age, without having effected the object for
which you were placed upon earth, and oil
no more use than the fifth wheel to a coach
moon in the day time, lock without 3
<ey, or a saddle and no horse TO ride.
Young man! il you have arrived q, tn
right point in life for ii, let every othe'
consideration give way 10 tina, of getting
married. Don. think of doing any thing
else. Keep poking abou. amorg the rub
bish Of the world I'LL you have stirred uT
1 gem worth possessing, in the shape of 8
wife. Never think Of delaying the matter
for you know delays, as we'll as wild bosr'
are dangerous. A good wife is the mos
constant and faithful companion you car
possibly have by your aide while perform
Ing journey of lfe--a dog ism, a touch
10 her. She is OF more service, too, thai
you may at first imagine. She can'smoolf
yoar linen and your cares for you-menC
your trOwsers, and perchsnce your man
ners-sweelen your sour moment as wei
as your tea and coffee for yOu--ruffle per
HIPS. your Shirt bosom, but not your ten
Iper, and, instead Of sowing the seeds G
sorrow in your path. she will sew button
on your shirN and plan, happiness insIeat
lnf harrow tselh in your bosom, Yes
and il you are too confounJedy lazy {
prond 10 do such work yourself, she wi
carry swllI 10 The pigs, chop wood. an
Zig ostsloeS for dinner. for her love fc
lher husband is such that she will do any
hing 10 please him except receive cod
,any 10 her every day clothes. When
woman loves. she loves with - doublt.dl
lllst dsvo,edness. and when she hates, sh
lna,es on The high pressure principle. e.-Ht
(, owe is as deep az The ocean. as suong as
henpiu halter and as imnn'abls ss Il
/ rock Of ages. She won, ch,ngs it, exec
It is in q very strong fl OF jealousy, ar
/. even then i. fingers, as If lolh 10 psrs. III
evening twilieh. s,lhe windows OF Il
west. Get married, by sll means. "A
the excuses you ca, fish up against 'doir
the deed aren't worth spoonful Of pigeon
is milk. Marx lhi. 1T, bles, with health a
employment, you are not able 10 support
wife. depend upon it, you are not caPst
W Of supporting yOuseIf-Therefore.
he mucn the more need Of annexation, for
union, 2, vel! sS 10 &C union ;heGe