Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1845-06-19
Amusing.
FROM The IosDos rpScR.
MRS. CAUDLE's
Gu RTAIN LECTURES.
MR.. cAuDLE HAS REMAINED Down STAIRS

/ 9hHs 1atbLE hAo AEMAtNEQ QOWN EIAAA&
TILL PAST ONE, WITH A FRIEND.
ga pretty time Of night TO come to bed,
Mr.. Caudle. Ugh As cold, too, as any
ice. Enough to give any woman her
death, Pm sure. WHAT should'n, have
locked up the Goals. indeed III hadn't.
I've no doubt the fellow would have slaid
all night. Its all very well for you, Mr..
Caudle, to bring people home; but wish
you'd think first what's for supper. That
beautiful leg Of pork would have served
for our dinner o.morrow--and now us
gone. can't keep the house upon tho
money, and won't pretend to do il, ii
you bring mob Of people every night to
clear the cupboard.
81 wonder who'll be so ready 10 give
you supper when you want one; for
want yon will, unless you change your
plans. Donttel me know I'm right.
You'll first be eaten up, and then you'll
be laughed at. ! know the world. No,
indeed, Mr.. Caude, don't think i'll of
every body; don't say that. Blu, caa't
see leg of pork eaten up in that way,
without asking myself what it's oil to end
IN II such things 60 ont And then be
must have pickles, too! Couldn't be con-
tent with my cabbage-no, Mr.. Caadle,
! won't let you go to sleep. lt'svery well
for you to say let you go to sleep, alter
you've kept me awake TIL. this time
Why did keep awake! How do you
suppose ] could go to sleep, when knew
that man was below drinking up vOur
substance N brandy and water for he
couldn't be content upon decent, whole
some gin? Upon my word, you ought
to be rich man, Mr.. Caudle. You have
such very fine friends. | wonder who
gives you brandy when you go QUIT
"No, indeed, he couldn't be conteat
with my picked csbbage--and- / should
like TO know VINO makes better-bui he
must have walnuts. And you, too, like
iool--now, don't you think to stop me,
Mr.. Caudle; poor woman might be
tramped to death, aud never say word
you, too. like fool wonder who'd
do 1t for you--io insist upon the girl going
out for picked walnuts. And in such u
night, tool With snow upon the ground,
Yes; you're man of fiue feelings, you
are, Mr.. Caudlel bu, the world dosen't
know you as 4 know you--fine feelings,
ndeedi TO send the poor girl out, when
told you, and told your friend, too-a
pretty brute he is, I'm sure--that the
poor girl had got cold and chilblains on
hef toes. But know what will be the
end Of TINT; she'll be laid up, and we
shall have nice doctors bill. Anc
youth pay it. can tell you--for
won't.
wish you were out Of the world Oh I,
yes, that's all very easy-l'm sure might
wish Il. Don't swear in that dreadful
way! Amt you afraid that the bed will
open and swallow you? And dom; swing
abou.in that way Thai will do no good.
That Won't bring back the leg of pork
and the brandy you've poured down both
of your throa!s. Oh! | know it !! Pm
sure Of il. only recolected it when I'd
got into bed--and if it hadn't been so cold.
you'd have seen me down stairs again, |
can tell you'll recollected it, and pref.
ty two hours I've passed. that left the
key IN the cupboard-and knew it,
could see by the manner Of you, when
Yoa came into the room--I know you've
got at the other bottle. However there's
one comfort; you told me to send for the
best brandy--Ne very Jest--for your other
friend, who called last "Wednesday. Ha!
ha! 1t was Brtish--the cheapest British
and nice and i'll hope the pair Of you
will be tomorrow.
There's only the bare bone OF the leg
of pork-but you'll get nothing else for
dinner, can tell you. It's dresdful
thing that the poor children should go
withost--but fthey have such father,
they, poor things, must suffer for il.
"Nearly whole leg of pork aud pint
of brandyi leg of-leg-leg-pint
-
And mumbling the syllables, says Mr..
Caudle's MS, she went TO sleep.