Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1845-05-10

ACARD.-Mrs. Mary Caudle bcgs permis-
SION To protest in this manner, against the {
publicity which has been given to- some CON {
between her and her husband, rela- |
TO matters altogether of "a domestic ma. :
lure. She has, against the suggestion of ma
ny good friends, torbornc To notice the inius.
OF her husband, who is, il is believed. in [
by the vanity of being considered a
or the habits and customs OF certain 4
societies, OF which he has lately become a |
member, to tell a good deal more than should !
be made public. Unwilling to be made a
of ridicule, Mrs. Caudle deems it due
to herself, and small family, now entirely de-
pendent on her, to appeal respectfully to the
people against the decision they have made
against her, or her husbands representations,
and to sustain her appeal by a statement of
further facts.
FOR THE UNITED STATES GAZETTE.
MIR. CAUDLES CURTAIN LECTURES.
There, Mrs. Caudlc, If a fellow begins To
whistle, you needn't be tormenting Yourself. |
10 find out what it's about. I'd like toknow.
II u man can't whistle in his own bed, where
he can whistle? Keeps you from going to
sleep, does it? That's always the way! i'll
choose TO converse with you, on little private
family matters at this time, it always keeps
you from going to Sleep Pray, what right
have you to be asleep when I'm awake! A
pretty piece of conjugal devotion, that, when
I'm tired and weary, that you have nothing
better to do, than go to sleep! Whistle NAV
L., II keep my mouth shut? Now you know
very well, that | must open my mouth to
whistle; that shows all you know! Paid too
dear for your whistle, did YOU? You must be
mighty changed since l first knew YOU! /
used to get a chance of talking then! but no,c.
you're always deaf when 1 speak! But l lust.
tell YOU what ii is, Mrs. Caudle, you must Ell
Their keep my shirts in better order, or leave
the premises; there's a button of, and it's
been oil a whole week, too! And you're CAD
ding about the streets, while your poor hus-
band has no buttons ON his shirts! Pm not
IN a passion about it, but If | 1oas q cussing
man, i certainly should swear, to relieve my
feelings can't smother 'em! I'd scorn to
swallow EN-; they've been pent up in this
Dustin heart ever since this button was of.
It's scandalous, that a man having a wife. has
no buttons on his shirt! Some men wouldn't
put up with it; but I'm not a bad temper
thank fortune 1t wouldn't do for me to be i'll
J tempered, when some persons who live in the
the same house are such vixens! Oh no
5 Smith didntmeet me i'm the street to-day, and
says he, 'Caudlc,' says he, there's a button off
l your shirt, you hare a wife, l believe Oh
l no! Smith didn't say this! Listen to ole
Smiths nonsense, do II Well, then. | tel
t you, If was a bachelor, like Smith, I'd thanh
my stars; h always has buttons on his shirts
l acont stop talking and go to sleep-rm no
sleepy, and I'm no child, to go TO sleep whei
goM please, and a button off my SHIRT too !
Wish 1 had my tongue buttoned up, do you
= SO you'd have a chance TO jaw, | 'spose Dea
knows, you've been talking about this buttoI
being of my shirt all night, and how I'm I,
/ get a wink of sleep, 1 don't know; but | 'spos,
my shirts are nothing to you-you've got me
| and that's all you care for-being called Mrs
Caudle! Well, if it isn't a name worth hav
ing that's not my fault; you might have sal,
no, and | wish you had and then maybe IL,
button wouldn't have been off my shirts ard
people to be saying there goes c, rm IN
t then asking PIC If wanted a + SH 5o,,n oorI,
e die 'em~and you too now ~ ISM ! zone cary
r te1norrow! Pulle1 ~ of, did L? Well i'll
RI did, / reckon a man has a right to do what he
, pleases, and if didn't, you're tellinga lie! !!
|. ucyer could bear false witnesses-and TO thlni
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. shQulS
shant Seta false witness, but some people
wives don't die Oh no. but they agerayat,
!, their husbands into a death-bed, and then, be
lore the grass grows over their graves. the,
caJole somebody else into tying a knot witt
: them, and my poor little Caudles is to SUITE
#, this ana all because OF a button too! I'm no
a worrysome temper, l never was; but beins
: win some persons, might have made a wors,
~ V"S W III put a w Il christian. ant
IT'S my duty, asa Christian, Mrs. Caudle, I,
y mention every button that comes off nv shirts
o and your duty to sew 'em on, and sew 'em o,
Oh a sunday morning too, if 4 think proper
IA like TO know what wives is good for. If i
amt to take care of the children and sew o.
the buttons that comes off their husbands
SHIRTS! Now, it's my opinion, that buttoI
never lcas ON my shirt! That's always tn
way with you, leaving things unfinished
pretty story it would be, if | had to 20 to
p seamstress to have my buttons sewed on an
II me, with a wife and eight children Such a,
example to set those gals to, of ours. they,
never get husbands as long as they live. If the
d don't learn TO finish things; and they'll neye
a learn that from Mary Caudle, / know! Som
persons might haze made fuss about this but
Ton, but I'm a fellow member of the grea
universe OF husbands, and / consider it m
duty TO exhibit patience its one of the card
nal virtues, Mrs. Caudle. Your carolina
MARY Caudle, it's my opinion you're a fool )
Know fhat was stolen, but what Tn talkir
talking about isn't a cape, but a virtue, whic
Judging from appearances, l should think VIC
never possessed, for you've neither tempe
u ance, forbearance, nor christian charity. iud,
ing from this button off my shirt. Mrs. Cal
die, say Mrs. Caudle, remember that button
to be done tomorrow. Asleep, are you 2
= We'll, I'll speak of it some other time. L,
been too careless letting such things pa
without saying more on the subject, but 1
KNOW why my buttons amt sewed on. l.
, glad I'm not a man to get into a passion.
AZ shouldn't like to go to sleep in a passion-P,
ii kept very cool-but it's owing to my havir
" said so little on this subject. Its really aggr
10 waiting Tor a mans wife not to keep his shir
IN order. And thus grumbling, Caudle fe
asleep.
THE MAGNETIC TELEGRAPH
washington letter published in the New Yoi
a. Express says that line of two telegraph vir
Is about to be constructed across New Jerse
between Philadelphia and New York. ri