Iowa territorial gazette and advertiser. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa Territory [Iowa]) 1840-1846, 1845-01-18

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Funeral Of Campbell tAe Poet.
sY SAN SLICK, IS.
"They are curious people is The Eng
fish; they are like Deacon Fhnt---he could
heyer see The pint Of a good thing till il was
too late. Sometimes arter. dinner he'd
bust oft a lariin' Ike any thing, for All the
world rs III he was born fool. secmin'ly at
tothin', and Id say, why, deacon, what
hagg6t's hit you nowS' 4 was larfn',
he'd say, at that joke Of Sourn this norm
In; ! didnttake list then but see il now
Mel says |, why what did I say, it's 50
long sgoI forgetp' why, says ne, 'doii't
you mind we was talkin' of them two
pirates the jury found not guilty, and the
court turned loose on the town; YOU said il
was all right, for they was loose characters,
oh! sec it now, il was rael Jam that
OH sails |, not overly pleased ho,her, for
a joke, like an egg, is never no good 'ycept
its fresh laid-is il? Well, the English
are like tie old deacon, they don't see a
mans merit ill he's dead, then they wake
up all Of a sudden and say, 'Ohl we must
honor this teller's skeleton;' and Peel, and
Brougham, and ell the dUns, 90 and play
pall-bearers 10 1t, stand over his grave. look
sentimental, and a,titudinize few; and
when | say 10 EN-, yon had hi ought to have
laid him right a top Of old DIR. Johnson
for he hated Scotchmen so like old Scratch;
if he was to find it out, he'd kick straight
up on eend, and throw him of; they went
larf, but give Us look, as much as to SAY,
Westminster Abbey amt no place to Joke
in. Just as if il warn't most beautiful
joke to see these men, who could have done
ever SO much for the poet in his lifetime,
when il could have done him good-but
who never even so much as held out fin
ger 10 him, except in little matter not
worth hayin' ---now he is dead start up all
at once and patronize his body and bones,
when it can't do him one mossel Of good,
Oil they are like Deacon Flint, they un.
derstand when it's too late. ~
Poor old Tom Campbell, there was
some pleasures Of hope that he never sol
down in his book, know. He hoped--a.
he had charmed the nation, and gwen EN-
another ondyn' name to add to their list d
poets TO crack and brag of--he'd had
recompense at least in some government
appointment, that would have cheered anc
soothed his old age, and he was disappoint
ed that's all; and that's the pleasures o
hope, squire, eh? He hoped that fame
which he had in his life, would have don,
him some good in his life-dian't hep
Well, he lived on that hope till he died
and that didn't disappoint him; for how
can Teller say he is disappointed by a thing
he has lived ON all his days! and that's III,
pleasures Of hope.
/ ''lie hoped, in course, Peel would be
patron Of poets; and so he is, he acts as
pail bearer, cause soon as the pail is owe
him he'd never bother him nor any o,he1
minister no more. Oh! Hope told flat
term tales but all ilaterers arc liars. Pee
has princcly fortune, and is prince Of
fel'er; but there is an old sayin,' 'Put no
your trust in princes
j "Ah! poor Campbell! he was poet,
good poet beautiful poet! He know,
all about the world Of Imagination, and th
realms Of fancy; but he didn't know moth
in at all about this world of our'n, or o
the realm Of England, or he never wonl,
have talked Of the pleasures Of hope 70
an author. Lord bless you! let dancin
cal come to the opera, jump six foot high
light on one toe. hold up the other so higl
you can see her stays Almost, and the,
spin round like daddy-long legs that.
got one foot caught in taller candle, ant
go spinnin' round arter that fashion for ter
minits, it will touch Pcel's heart in giffy
This spinnin' jimmy will be honored by til,
highest folks in the land, have diamond
rings, goold snuff bo,es, and pusses Q
money given her, and gracious knows what
Let gineral Tom Thumb come to Londo,
that's two foot nothin,' and the Kentuck,
boy that eight foot somethip,' and see how
J they will be patronized, and what sigh
Of honor they viii have. Let Van Am.
burg come with his lion, make him oper
his jaws, and then put his head down hi.
tnroat ana pun II out, ana say. what q
brave boy am II and kings and queens
and princes and mobiles, will come and see
him, and see his lion feed loo. Did any
of 'em ever come to see Campbell fsedf
He was great lion this many long day
Oh dear! he didn't know nothing that's 4
fact; he thought himself cut above then
folks; it jist showed how much he know
Fine sentiments! Lord who cares fol
them?
"Do you 60 to Nova Scotia now, and
travel all down TO cape Canso, the whole
length Of the province, pick out the two
best lines from his Hope and ask every
Teller you meet, did yon ever hear these?
and how many viii YOU find that has seer
'em, or hearntell OF ZEN? Why a few gal.
that's sentimental, and few boys that's :
conrtin,' spooney like, that's all. But q,
EN- this, Master, il that house cost f,,
hundred dollars, and barrel Of nails five
dollars, what would good sizeable pie
come to?-do you give it up? Well, he't
come TO bushcl Of corn.'' Every man
woman, and child, would tell you they
heard the clown say that al the circus, ant
that they mind they larfed ready 10 Kill