The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1845-06-07
LECTURE III.
MRS. cAuDLE LECTURES ON Mr.. CAupLE's
SHIRT buttons.

Here, Mr.. Caudle, l hope you're in little bet
ter temper than you were this morningi There
--you needn't begin to whistle; people don'tcome
to bed to whistle But it's like you. Ican't speak
that you don't try 10 insult me. Once used to
say you were the best creature living now you get
quite fend. Do lei you rest' No, won't let
you rest. It's the only time have to talk to you,
and you shall hear me. I'm put upon all day long
its very hard if can't speak word at night;
and it isn't often open my mouth, goodness
knows!
Because once in your lifetimeyour shirt wanted
button ,you must almost swear the roof off the
house! You didn't swear' Ha! Mr. Caude, you
don't know what you do when you're in passion.
You were not in passion, wernt your Well,
then don't know what passion is-and think
I ought by this time. I've lived long enough with
you, to know all that.
It's a pity you haven't some thing worse to COM
PLAIN Of than button off your shirt. If you'd
some wives, you would know. I'm sure I'm
never without needle aud thread in my hand.
What without you and the children, I'm made a
perfect slave Of And what's my thanks' Why
if once inyom life buttons off your shrt-what
do you cry oh att say once, Mr. Caude, or
twice; or three times, at most I'm sure that no
man. s buttons in the world are better looked after
than yours. only wish had kept the shirts you
had when you were first married. should like to
know where were the buttons them
! Yes, it is worth talking Of! Butthst's how you
always try to put me down. You fly in rage,
and then if only try to speak you won't hear me-
That's how men always will have all the talk to
themselves, poor woman is not allowed to get a
word in.
| nice notion you have of wife, to suppose
she's nothing to think of but her husbands but
tons. A pre:ty notion, indeed, you have Of mar
rage. Ha. if poor women only knew what they
had 60 through What with buttons and one
thing and another! They'd never tie themselves
up to the best man in the world, Pm sure. What
would they do, Mr.. Caudle' Why, do much bet
ter without you, I'm certain.
| And it's my belief, after all, that the button
wasn't off the shirt-its my belief that you pulled
it off, that you might have something to talk about
Oh.youre aggravating enough when you like, for
anything! All know is, it's very odd that the
button should be eff the shirt; for I'm sure no
woman's greater slave to her husbands buttons
than am. only say its very odd.
| However, there's one comfort, il can't last long
I'm worn to death with you're temper, and sha'nt
trouble you great while. Ha you may laugh And
dare say you would laugh! I've no doubt Of it
That's your love-that's your feeling know
that am sinking every day, though say nothing
about it. And when am gone, we shall see how
your second wife will look after your buttons!-
You'll find out the difference then. Yes, Caudle
you'll think of me, then; for then hope you'll
never have blessed button to your back
No I'm not vindictive woman, Mr.. Caude;
nobody ever called me that butyou. What do you
say! Nobody ever knew 80 much of me' That's
nothing at all to do with it, Ha wouldn't have
your agravating temper, Caudle, for mines of gold
It's good thing I'm not as worrying as you are,
or nice house there'd be between US. / only
wish you d had wife that would have talked 10
you! then you'd know the difference. But you
impose upon me like poor fool, and SAY nothing
should be ashamed OF myself, Caudle.
And pretty example to set as a father! You'll
make your boys as bad as yourself. Talking as
you did all breakfast time about your buttons -
And of Sunday morning too! And you call
yourself Christian! | should like TO know what
your boys will say of you when thay grow up'
And all about paltry button off your wristband;
decent man wouldn't have mentioned il. Why
won't hold my tongue' Because won't hold
my tongue! I'm to have my peace of mind des-
troyed-I'm to be worried into my grave for
miserable shirt button! Oh, that's just like you
men.
But know what III do for the future Every
button you have may drop off, ard won't SO much
as put thread to EN- And should like to know
what you'll do them Oh, you must get somebody
else to sew em, must you' That's pretty threat
for husband to hold out to wife. And TO such
a wife !as | have been too, such "a negro slave to
your buttons, as | may say. Somebody else 10
sew 'em, eh' No, Caudle, no; not while I'm
alive When I'm dead-and with what have 10
bear there's no knowing how soon that may be
when I'm dead. I say-oh. what a brute you
must be TO snore SO!
You're not snoring? Ha! that's what you al.
ways say; but that's nothing to do with it. You
must get somebody else to sew 'em, must you
Ha! shouldn't wonder. Oh no! | should be
surprised at nothing now Nothing at ALL It's
what people always told me it would come to-
and now the buttons have opened my eyes But
the whole world shall know of your cruelty, Mr..
Caudle. After the wife I've been to you. Some
body else, indeed, to sew your buttons! I'm no
longer to be mistress in my own house! Ha!
Caudle, wouldn't have upon my conscience what
you have, for the world. ! wouldn't treat any
body as you treat-no, I'm not mad. It's you,
Mr.. Caudle, who are mad, or bad, and that's worse
can't even so much as speak to you Of shirt