Mississippi Democrat. (Carrollton, Miss.) 1844-18??, 1845-07-23
BABY-PHOBTA.

He OLD BACHELOR AGAIN.-OId MUS
ty has changed his name. The barbarian
has struggled an alias; but we know him,
despite his devices to conceal himself
He is the same unfeeling brute who ridi-
culed "anxious mothers" for taking their
infants--those blessed things-to the opera
last winter, ASST squall in the boxes did
not help out the orchestra consumedly.--
He was for putting whilsiling boys down,
and indeed set himself up as censor of
manners. As well might one sweeten cof-
fee out of vinegar cruet, as adapt society
to the whims of a sterile member thereof.
He has been counting of late, and because
he got Tilted, he blackguards babies again
those tender endearments that are not
visible in the perspective of his useless
life. He calls himself "CGlebs" now, and
DISCUSSES his chirography. But we know
him. We publish his scurrility upon the
blossoms that blow in the nursery of life,
to show how much mercy there is in the
world; for surely if justice were done him,
he would be Topped off and cast into the
fire as specimen of animated botany that
bears no fruit. Hear him: N. 0. Pic.
Heaven knows | am not misanthrope,
still less mysogynist! but something in
my idiosyncrasy has certainly made me a
mis--psha lin plain English, | am
baby-hater.
''The nasty heartless old brute!" ex-
claims some lady reader of certain--or,
perhaps, uncertain-age.
Brute, if you will, ma'am, though not
otd-perhaps, young enough to be your
son. But before you condemn me, hear
whether my sufferings are not my iustiica-
ton. The relation of one misery out OF
many will be sufficient.
| was lately invited to pass few days
at the residence of friend in the country.
1t was plain, unpretending mansion
such as you may see on any plantation OF
the South-standing near cool, shadowy
river in the blue forests, and EMPOWERED
among trees-the very place for retreat
IN the hot, lazy days of summer. / arrived
in the cool of the morning, with some of
the family, and met kind reception from
the ladies of the house, TO whom was moi
entirely stranger. They were amiable,
beautiful end acnorspliehed, and iE their
society the day passed most delightfully."-.
As evening approached, drive was pro-
posed, and the old family carriage pres
emily made its appearance. A queer
looking, rickety affair it was,-nineteen
years in service, and now almost lumbling
to pieces with age; but as | am neither GER
emonious nor fastidious, it seemed the very
thing for our expedition.
We got in-three ladies, myself, and a
pretty little romp about eight years old
one of the gentlemen acting as driver; all
in high spirits, and with every prospect Of
a pleasant excursion. But Judge of my
horror, when, at the foot of declivity
the carriage stopped, and black nurse
who had been sitting by the stream, came
up with "Missus, hea's Evy.'' At once the
arms of my fair companions were stretch
ed forth TO grasp the treasure. Twas ir
for it-there could be no retreating.
"ls'nt she. pretty, MIR. S.s' exclaimed
one.
/ I am veracious man, so stammeret
forth my real opinion.
] r,"Not pretty! Itty booty, he CALICO ut
pretty. Bad man, kiss'um.'' And tn,
, thing completely beslobbered my face.
!, A bottle of sugared milk, with some brea,
and meat in an old newspaper had beef
handed in, and one of the first operation
was TO cram the darling, who now com
pletely engrossed attention.
"ltty bit, eat itty BIT. Nice mix, dink
Dinky, dinky."
The pewter tea-cup was emptied an
the stufing recommended. Presently th
angels dissatisfaction was manifested b
a prolonged squalI.
"She's teething, poor thing" observe
one. "Toofans hurt it? Let Annie fec
] toofan, deary."
& A violent kick and squall was the al
swer, accompanied by an unequivoc;
. stretchingof the darling's arms toward
j myself. My flesh fairly crept.
"Is dat fadyg Wantee to 60 to fady?-
: Mr.. S. she wants to cultivate your az
J quaintance. And with these words tn
g animated lump of dirty white fat was depos
. tied directly on my lap!
"Dere now, itty ma'am you satisfied
/ Dodo."
: "Itty ma'am" replied by a yehemeI
n yell.
! "Want breadl dood bread" But Il
I bread was rejected, with cry for mea
!. and Jumps Of ham fat were accordingly d
J, posted, partly in the child's open mout
) but literally on my new ash-colered inc.
!. pressibles. A fit of coughing choking pre-
f emily occasioned resort to the milk BIO
4 tie. Half a cup full taking the wrong d
3 rection was thrown back into my face
! a shower, while at the same moment vi
I nrous kick unset and broke the bottle. sea