Mississippi advertiser. [volume] (Aberdeen) 1842-1848, 1845-02-22
From the St. Louis Reveilie.)
SWALLOWING OYSTERS ALIVE

SWALLOWING OYSTERS ALIVE.
At a late hour, the other night, the door Of an
oyster house in our city was thrust open, and in
stalked hero from the Sucker State He was
quite six feet high, spare, somewhat stopped, with
u hungry, anxious countenance, and his hands
pushed clear down to the bottom of his brecches
pockets. His outer covering was hard to defne
but after surveying it infinitely, we came to the
conclusion that his suit had been made in his boy
hood of dingy, yellow lnsey-wolsey, and that,
having sprouted up with astonishing rapidly, he
had been forced to piece it out with all colors, in
order TO keep pace with his body. In sp te of his
exerions, however, he had fallen in arrears about
foot of the necessary length, and consequently,
stuck that far through his nexpressibles. His
crop of hair was surinounied by the funniest little
seal skin cap imaginable. After taking position.
he INDUCED in long stare at the man opening the
bibalues, and slowly ejaculated-"lsters7"
Eyes, sir" responded the attentive operator; and
fine ones they are, too"
"Well, I've hearn tell ofisters afore,' says he,
'but this is the fust time I've seed EN-, and pre-
haps I'll know what thar made of afo,e | git out
Of town"
Having expressed this desperate intention, he
cautiously approached plate, and scrutinized lhe
uncased she6sh with gravity and interes, which
would have done honor to the most ilasriots
searcher into the hidden mysteries of nature AT
length he began to solloquize the difficulty Of get.
ting them out, and how queer they looked when out.
Il never seed any thin hold on so-'takes an
main site of sorcwip, boss, get EN- out, and
aint they slick and slip'ty whom they does comet
Smooth as an eel! I've good mind to give that
fellar lodgins, jest to realize the effects, as uncle
Jess used TO say about spekelation."
WELL sir" was the reply, down With TWO bits,
and you can have Dozen"
1.-TWO biis" exclaimed the Stacker, "now come,
that's sickin' it on rite strong, hoss, for listers.
dozen on 'em amt nothin to chicken, and there's
no gittin' more'n pcayune a piece for them. I've
only realized fortyve picayunes on my first vcn'
tur' to ST. Louis. I'll tell you what, LII gin you
Two chickens for dozen, if you'll conclude to
deal"
A wag, who was standing by INDUCING in doz'
en-, winkcd to the attendant to she'll out, and the
offer was accepted.
"Now mind" repeated the Sucker, "al fair
TWO chickens for dozenyou'rc witness, mister,
turning at the same time to the wag; "none YOU
tricks for I've hearn tell hst your city fellars are
nifty slip'ry coons "
The bargain being fairly understood our Sucker
squared himself for the onset--deliberatey put. of
his seal skin, tucked up his sleeves, and, fork il
hand, awaited the appearance ofNo. l. 1t came
he saw-and qucklyit was boiled! moment
dreadful pause ensued. The wag dropped hi
knife and fork with look of mingled amazemen
and Notwithstanding akin to Shakespeare's Ham
let on seeing his daddys ghost, while he burs
into the exclamation
Swallowed dliUe. rs I'm christian"
Our Sucker hero had opened his mouth with
pleasure a moment before, but now it stood open.
Fear--a horrd dread ofhe didn't know whats
consciousness. that right, and ignorance ortht
extent Dfthe wrong 1.-The uncertainty OF hat mo
rnent was terrible Urged 10 desperation he taller
ed out
"What on airth's the row."
odd you swallow it alivel" enquired the wag
81 swallered it list as he gin it to mel shouiee
the Sucker.
you're dead mani" exclaimed his anxiou
friend; ''lhe creature ia alive and will eat righ
through you," added he in most hopeless tone
Get pizen pump and pump it QUIT screamed
the Sucker, in frenzy, his eyes fairly starting
from their sockets. ooh, gracious.-what'll do
It's got hold of my innards already, and | an
dead as a ckickeR-do soniethn for me, do-don'
lett.e Internal sea-toad eat me afnre your eyes"
"Why don't you put some Of this on it'' inquired
tho wug, pointing to bottle OF strong peppe
sauce.
The hint was enough--the Sacker, upon tn
instant, seized the bottle, and desperately wrenchin
out the cork, swallowed half the contents at
draught. He fairly squeacd from the effects ant
gasped, and bowed, and pitched and twisted as
It we're coursing through him with electric effect
while at the time his eyes ran stream OF tears
At length, becoming little composed, his wagsis
adviser approached, almost bursting with suppress
ed laughter, and enqulred,
"How are you now, old fcllowl-did you kill IN
"WclI, did, hoss--ugh-ugh- my innard'
If that lister critters diving agonias did Mt star