Litchfield enquirer., 1845-11-06
From the Knickerbocker.

NEW ENGLAND ACQUISITIVENESS. How dye do, MT. Jones. Take seat, sir, and set down to the table. Got pretty good cup of coffee for you strained coffee we strain 1t alto gether now, though like it the old way better; so much easter like
 I can swallow it very easily, either way maam.
 o, mean its easier to make. How did you leave your mother! Has she got over that touch of rheumatiz yet
 Yes ma'am, two or three years ago.
 You don't say did she irdeed: We'll was jest going to say that I've got resate, that will cure the rheumatiz in no time, and I'll jest read it to you, and you can tell her said that I'd used it for my old man and me, and find its jest the thing
 After adjusting her iron spectacles, and fumbling awhile'i miner pocket, she produced paper, which she proceeded to read, as 1 devoured the good things before me:
 "'rake one ounce of catnp, quarter of ah ounce of saxafax, half an ounce of pennyral, two potato parings, quart ot vinegar, pint of molasses, one jill of skimlnilk, and bile ern half an hour over slow fire; then rub the limbs with flannel cloth dipped Tn the liquor, and drink tlmbler full ot the same in'the mornin' and before goih' to bed"
 Oh, said l, that must bel the medicine read of in the papers; to be taken externally, internally, and eternally,
 Oh, didn't ask you how your sister was. When is Susan going to be married!
 Really, can't say, ma'am; not at present.
 Well, Bill Carter, they say, IS healthy nice young man; my Tabitha went with him to the A. cademy in Bumbury. Amt Sarah going to be mar ried too: herntell she was engaged to doctor in Hartford.
 have not heard of it ma 'arn. ..
 We'll that 'ere's strange; every body has hern on t here. EUSli, shysa nice gal aud vugill married; but the best gals don't get married first -a-days, as they used to in my time; was married when was sixteen but the young men have lost their taste but then know that what s one mans meat is another mans pizen; and be- sides, 1t ant every mans nose that will make a good shoe -horn, that know. Do you suppose, ma'am, that that is on account of the less cartilaginous character of the nasal composition in some men:
 What say, sir! .., ea,
 Do you think ma'am, that the reason of the fact which you state, is that the nose of some men is softer than others, does the objection lie in the shape of the olfactory organ! L it on account of maIformation?
 Well, Mr. Jones you've been to college and l suppose you're trying to show off your larnin'; any way, can't understand you, and don't want to; 1 don't talk nothing but English. What on airth you got old Hobsons cart for! You ain't going peddling, be ye? Our gals thought it was a ped dler coming, sure enough, when you druvup.
 I'm going on mission ma'am to the heather in New Hampshire.
 To the heathen in New Hampshire Ludiful sakes! La, MT. Jones, there ain't no heathings in New Hampshire, though, is there. poor crilters'- Well, why don't you take your wife along with you You are married, amt ye.
 Sorry to say am not, ma am.
 Ain't ye, though! We'll they said you was go- ing to be married as soon as you got through col lege, to some gal away off somewhere; but always said you would marry Ellen Hobson at last, if she is your cousin: l see how the pot was a-bilin.