The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1845-08-23
M S CE LII A NEOUS.
From the st Louis Reveille.
LICKING A YANKEE.

LICKING A YANKEE
A very handsome friend of ours who few
weeks ago was poked out ofa comfortable office
time, to recover from the wound inflicted upon his
feelings by our 'unprincipled and immolatng sd
ministration.'
Change of air must have had an instant effect up.
on his spirits, for from Galena, he writes ANA.
sing letter. which among other things tells of a
desperate quarrel that took place on board of the
boat between real live dandy tourist, and rel
live yankee settler. The latter trod on the toes o
the former; whereupon the former threatened tc
kick out Of the cabin the latter
You'll kick me out of this cabing!'
Yes, sir, III kick you out of this cabin
cabing:'
Yes, sir, III kick you Mr.. Hitchcock!
Well, guess, said the yankee, very cooly ,af.
ter being perfectly satisfied that twas himself who
stood in such imminent peril of ASSAULT guess
since you talk of kicking, you've never heard me
No sir, nor do ! wish-'
Wal, guess 1t won't set you back much any
how, as kicking's generally best TO be considered
on. You see, old Bradley is one of those sancti-
monious, long faced hypocriles, who put on a rel
eious suit every Sabbath morning, and with good
deal sf screwing manage to keep it on till after
noon Wal he had an old roam mare that would
jump over any sixteen rail fence in Illinois, and
open any barn that hadn't paddock on it. Two
or three times found her in my stable; and told
Bradley about it, and he was very sorry an
unruly animal'-woud atch her, and hui lot of
such things, all said in very serious manner, with
face twice as long as old Deacon Farrar's on
Sabbath day. knew all the time he was lying,
and SO watched him and his cid roam tu; and for
three lights regular, old roam came to my stable
about bed time, and just about daylight Bradley
would come, bride her and ride off. then Just
took my old mare down to the blacksmith's shop,
and had some shoes made with 'corks' about four
inches lung and had 'ern nailed on to her hind
feet Your heels mister ain nothing TO 'em.
Il took her home, gave her about ten feet of
halter, and tied her right in the centre of the sta
BILE, fed her well with oats about nine o'clock, and
after good smoke, weht TO bed, knowing that my
old mare was a truth telling ANIMAL and that she'd
give good report of herself in the morning.
hadn't got fairly to sleep before the old oman hun
ched me and wanted TO know what on earth was
the matter out at the stable. Says I, to sleep,
Peggy, It's nothing but Kate-she is kicking of
flies, guess' Purity soon she hunched me agIn,
and says she Mr. Hitchcock, du git up see what
in the world is the matter with Kate, for she is
kicking most powerfully LAY still Peggy-Kate
will take care OF herself, guess Wal the next
morning about daylight, Bradley, with bride in
his hand cum to the stable and as true as The Book
of Genesis, when he saw he old roam 5 sides, starn
and head he cursed and swore worse than you did,
Mister, when came down on your toes.
After breakfast that mornil ), Joe Davis cum to
my house, and says he, Bradleys old road is near
ly dead-she's cut all to pieces, and can scarcely
move / want TO know' says how on air!h
did ii happen! Whilst we were takn' up cum
that everlastin' hypocre Bradley; and says he, Mr..
Hitchcock, my old roam is ruinedn sDu tell saws
l. She is cut all TO pieces, says he; do you know
whether she was in your stable last night;' Wal,
Mister, with this l let out: Do know it?'-he
Yankee here in illustrating, made sudden ad.
vance upon the dandy, who made way for him
unconsciously as it were Do know it, you no
souled, squash-headed, old night owl you-you
hay-hookin', corn-cribbin', fodder-tudgn, cent
Shawn, whiltn' of nulhn' you?'--Kate kicks
like mere dumb beast, but I've reduced the thing
to science" The yankee had not ceased to ad
vance nor the dandy in his astonshment 10 retreat
and now the motion of the latter being accelera-
ted by an apparent demonstration on the part of the
former to suit the action TO the word, he found
himself in the social hail. tumbling backwards
over pile OF baggage and tearing the knees of his
pants as he scrambled up, perfect scream of
laughter stunning him from all sides. The defeat
was total; few moments afterwards he was drag
glng his own trunk on shore, while Mr.. Hitchcock |
finished his story on the boiler deck