The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1845-06-07
MISCELLANY.
From the London Punch.
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LEG
TURES.
U.rCTITPE n


MR.. cAUDLEHXs BEEN AT TAVERN WITH A
y ~, sa FRIEND.
Poor mel Ha! I'm sure don't know who'd be
- poor woman! don't know who'd tie themselves
10 man, il they knew only half they'd have to
bear A vile must stay at home, and be drudge
while man can go any where It's enough
for wife to sit like Cinderella by the ashes, while
her husband can go drinking and singing at tav.
esrn. You never sing' How do know you
never sng' It's very well for you 20 say so; but
If could hear you, dare say you're among the
worst Of 'em.
And now, I suppose it will be the tavern every
night II you think I'm going to sit up for you,
Mr. caudle, you're very much; h;mistaken. No; and
I'm not going to get out of my warm bed to lei
you IN. either. No; nor Susan shan't sit up for
you. No; nor you shanthave latch key. I'm
not going to sleep with the door upon the latch to
be murdered before the morning.
Faugh! Pah! Whewgh! That filthy tobacco
smoke! It's enough to kill any decent woman.
You know I hate tobacco, and yet you will do it.
You don't smoke yourself! what of that! If you
go among people who do smoke, you're just as
bad or more You might as well smcke-ndesd,
better. Better smoke yourself, than come home
with other peoples smoke in your hair.
Il Lneveriknew any good come to man who went
10 tavern. Nice companions be picks up there !!
Yes; people who make it boast to treat their
wives like slaves and ruin their families. There's
that wretch, Prettymsn. See what he's come to-
He doesn't now get home till two in the morning;
and then in what state! He begins quarrelling
with the door mat, that his poor wife may be afraid
to speak to him. mean wretch But don't you
think I'll be like Mrs Prettyman. No; wouldn't
put up with it from the best man that ever trod.
You'll not,make me afraid to speak to you, howev-
or you may swear at the door mat. No; Mr. Cau-
,dle, that you won't
You don't intend I'd stay out till two in the
when you get among such peoplei Men can't
answer for themselves when they get boozing one
with another. They never think of their poor
wives who are grsving and wearing themselves
out at home. A nice headache you'll have in the
morning-or rather this morning, for it must be
past twelve. You won't have headachc' It's
very well for you to say so, but know you will;
and then you may nurse yourself for me. Ha!
that filthy tobacco, again. No; shall not go to
sleep like good soul! How's people to go to
sleep when they re sufocated'
Yes, Mr.. Caudle, you'll be nice and i'll in the
morning. But don't you think I'm going to let
you have your breakfast in bed, like Mrs. Pretty
man. I'm not such fool No; nor won't have
discredit brought upon the house by sending for
'soda-water early, for all the neighborhood to say
"Caude was drunk last night!'' No; I've some
regard for the dear children, if you hav' mt. No.
nor you sha'nt have broth for dinner. Not neck
OF mutton crosses my threshold, | can tell you.
90 You won't want soda, and you won't want
broth! All the better. You wouldn't get 'em
if you did, can assure you. Dear, dear,
dear. that filthy tobacco! I'm sure it's enough to
make me as bad as you are. Talk about getting
divorced lin sure tobacco ought TO be good
grounds. How little does woman think wnen
she marries, that she gives herself up to be poison
ed! You men contrive to have it all on your own
side, you do. Now if | was to 20 and leave you
and the children, prettyEnoise there'd be! You,
however, can go and smoke no end of ppes-you
didn't smoke It's all the same, Mr.. Caudle, if
you go among smoking people. Folks are known
by their company You'd better smoke yourself,
than bring me home the pipes Of all the world.
Yes, see how it win be; now you've once gone
to a tavern, you'll always be going. You'll be
coming home tpsy every night; and tumbling
down and breaking your leg, and putting out your
shoulder, aud bringing all sorts Of disgrace and
&. expense upon us. And then you'll be getting into
astreet fght-oh | know your temper too well to
doubt ii Mr.. Caudle-and be knocking down some
Of the police. And then know what will follow.
1t must follow. Yes; you'll be sent for a month
or six weeks to the treadmi Pretty thing for a
respectable tradesman, Mr.. Caudls, to be put upon
the treldmil with all sorts OF thieves and vaga-
bonds, and-theIe, again, thatYhorrible tobacco!-.
and riff raft OF every kind. | should like to know
how your children are to hold up their heads after
their father has been upon the treadmill?-No; I
won't 90 to sleep. And I'm not talking of what's
impossible know it will all happen-every bit
OF il. Ifit wasn't for the dear children, you might
be ruined, and wouldn't SO much as speak about
it, butch, dear, dear! at least you might go
where they smoke good tobacco-but can't for
get that I'm their mother. At least they shall have
one parent. t.< ~.
Tavsrns! Never did man go to tavern
who did not die beggar And how your pot
companions will laugh at you when they see your
name in the Gazette! For II mus! happen Your
business is sure to fall off; for what respectable
people will buy toys for their children of drunk
ard' No, butyou will be; it's all the same.
You've begun by Strsylng out TIL midnight BY
and by twill be all night. But you don't think,
Mr.. Csudle, you shall ever have a key know
you. Yes; you'd do exactly like that Prettyman,
and what did he do only last Wednesday, Why,
he let himself in about four in the morning, and