Boon's Lick times. [volume] (Fayette, Mo.) 1840-1848, 1845-05-10
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN Lee
TURES.
LECTURE III.
Mr.. Caudle has been at T'arern Nth q
Friend.

Poor mel Ha! I'm sure ! don't know
who'd be a poor womanl don't know
who'd tie themselves up TO a man, if they
knew only half they'd have to bear. A
wife must stay at home and be drudge,
whilst man can 60 anywhere. It's
enough for a wife to sit like Cinderella by
the ashes, whilst her husband can 60 drink
ing and singing at tavern. You never
sing How do | know you never sing?
It's very well for you to say so; but if
could hear you | dare say you're among
the worst of 'em.
"And now, suppose it will be the tav-
ern every night. If you think I'm going
to sit up for you, Mr.. Caudle, you're very
much mistaken. No: and I'm not going to
get out of my warm bed to let you in,
either. No: nor Susan shan't sit up fot
you. No: nor you shan't have a latch
key. I'm not going to sleep with the door
upon the latch to be murdered before the
morning.
"Faug Oh! Pah! Whewgh! That filthy to.
bacco smoke! It's enough TO kill any dc.
cent woman. You know hate tobacco,
and yet you will do it. You can't smoke
yourself! What of tha,l If you go among
people who do smoke, you're Just as bad or
worse. You might as well smoke-indeed
better. Better smoke yourself than come
home with other peoples smoke in your
hair.
II never knew any good come 10 a man
who went to a tavern. Nice companions
he picks up there! Yes; people who make
it a boast to treat their wives like slaves
and ruin their families. There's that
wretch, Prettyman. See what he's come
to. He dosen't now get home till two in
the morning; and then in what a state! He
begins quarreling with the door mat, that
his poor wife may be afraid to speak to
him. A mean wretch! But don't YOU
think I'll be like Mrs. Prcttyman. No: |
wouldn't put up with it from the best man
that ever trod. You'll not make me afraid
to speak to you, however you may swear at
the door-mat. No, Mr. Caudlc that yon
won't
you don't intend to stay out till two in
the morning! How do you know what
you'll do when you get among such people?
Men can't answer for themselves when
they get boozng one with another. They
never think of their poor wives who are
grievng and wearing themselves out at
home. A nice headache you'll have to-
morrow morning--or rather this morning;
for it must be past twelve. You won't
have q headache! It's very we'll for you to
say 50, but | know you will; and then YOU
may nurse yourself for me. Ha! that filthy
tobacco again! No: I shall not 90 to sleep
like good soul! How's people TO 90 TO
sleep when they're sufiocated!
YES Mr.. Caudle, you'll be nice and i'll in
the morning! But don't you think I'm
going to let you have your breakfast in bed,
like Mrs. Prettyman. I'll not be such
fool No: nor won't have discredi brought
upon the house by sending for soda-watcr
early, for all the neighborhood to say, eau.
die was drunk last nghtp No: I've some
regard for the dear children, if you havn't.
No, nor you shan't have broth for dinner.
Not neck of mutton crosses my threshold,
| can tell you.
You won't want soda, and you won't
want broth! All the better. You wouldn't
get 'em if you did, can assure you. -
Dear. dear, dcar That filthy tobacco!
I'm sure it's enough to make me as bad as
you are. Talking about getting divorced.
I'm sure tobacco ought to be good grounds.
How little does a woman think when she
marrcs, that she gives herself up to be
poisoned! You men contrive to have it all
on your own side you do. Now if was
to go and leave you and the children, a
pretty noise thered be You, however,
can 90 and smoke no end of pipes
You didn't smoke It's all the same, Mr..
Caudle, if you 90 among smoking people.
Folks are known by their company. You'd
better smoke yourself, than bring me home
the pipes of all the world.
Yes, see how it will be. Now you've
once gone to tavern, you'll always be 60
ing. You'll be coming home tipsy every
night; and tumblng down and breaking
your leg, and putting out your shoulder;
and bringing all sorts of disgrace and ex-
pense upon US. And then you'll be getting
into a street fght--ohl know your temper
too well to doubt it, Mr.. Caudle-and be
knocking down some of the police. And
then | know what will follow. 1t must
follow. Yes, you'll be sent for a month or
six weeks to the tread.miIl. Pretty thing
that, for respectable tradesman, Mr. eau.
die, to be put upon the tread-mll. with al
sorts of thieves and vagabonds, and-there
again, that horrible tobacco!-and riff, raft
of every kind. should like to know how
your children are to hold up their heads
after their father has been upon the tread,
mill!-No; won't go to sleep. And I'm
not talking Of what's impossible. know
it will all happen--every bit Of it. If il
wasn't for the dear children. you might be
ruined, and | wouldn't so much as speak
abOut n hut-oh deor 5nor Ia1rI at laoS