Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1845-12-23
HUMOR OF LATE THOMAS HOOD.

garden, who has the peculiarly OF identi-
lying herseD with each variety. Hood
sanding atthe little gate, compliments her
on the appearance of her carnation: TO
which she repies.-''Yes, I've q stronger
blow than any one in the place, and as 10
sweetness nobody can come'nigh me
Would you like TO walk in, sir, and smell
me?
accepting the polite invitation, step
ped in through the tie wicket, and in an :
other moment was rapturously snuff ng at
her stocks, and the flowers with the SAN
culinary name. From the walls | turned
off to roscbush, remarhing that there was
a very fine slow of buds
Yes, but want sun 10 make me burst
Oh should have seen me last June, sir,
when was full bloom None of your
wishy pale sor,S-(this was fling
at the white rose at the next door,
Of your Provncials, or pale pinks. There's
no maiden bushes about me. Ttn the reg
ular old red caboage!'
And she was right; for after all, that
hearty, glowing, fragrant rose, is the bos
of the species: the queen of flowers, with
rnddy em5onpoiaf, reminding one of the
goddesses Of Rubens.
And there's my American creeper.-
Miss Sharp preiends 10 creep, bat Lord
bless we! a(ore ever she gets up TO her first
door window, shall be running all over
the portico already
While these conversation is going on, q
deaf bachelor, who has garden Of his
own passes by but Mrs Gardiner calls him
in loud voice, and addresses him in her
customary fguralve language.
We'll and how are you, Mr.. Burre, af-
ter them east windsr
Very bad, very bad, indeed, replied Mr..
Burrel, thinking only Of his rheumatics.
And SOL, said Mrs Gardiner, remember
ing nothing but her blight. pm thinking
OF lryicg tobacco water and a sQuiringe'
is that good for it?' asked Mr.. B. with
tone Of doubt and surprise.
SO they say but you must mix il strong,
and squirt it as hard as ever you can over
your affected parts
'What, my lower limbs?
Yes, and your upper ones too Where
ever you're magotty.'
'Ohp 6 united the old gentleman; you
mean vcrmin.'
AS Con me, bawled Mrs G. I'm swarm
ing and Miss Sharp is wus than lam
the moro's pity said the old gentle
man; 'wc shall have no apples ard pears
No, not TO signify. how'S your pea
chcs?
why they set kindly enough, AIa'am
dot they all dropped off in the last frost
nights
'Ah, it Amt the frost roared Mrs. c.;
'youhavc got down to the gravel know
you haye-you look SO rusty and scrubby!'
i wish you good nlornin, Ma'am, said
the lille old bachelor, turning very led in
he face, and marking rather precipltate
retreat from the wharf wall rs who woald'n'
thus attacked at once in his person and his
peach trees.
10 be sure, he was dreadful unproluc-
tive,' the widow said but good sort OF a
body and ten tines peasenter than her
next door neghbor at Number Ten, who
would keep coming over her WALL ill she
cot off his pumpkin
She now led round the house to her
back she showed me her grass plot
wishing she was greener, and asking me
if she ought not to have roll. She next
led me off to her vegetables, hating at last
al her peas, some few rows Blue Prus
slams, which she I'D probably obtained
from waterloo, they were SO long coming
up.
"Bockard, ant ~
! Yes, rather
'Wery:but Mss Sharp is backarder
than me. She's hardly out of ground YET;
and please God, in another fortnight |
shall want sticking
! There was something so il irresis, IDLY
comic in this last equvoque, that | was
forced TO slur over a laugh and snceze,
and then contrive TO ask her if she had no
assistance in her Iabors.
what. gardiner Never !! | did once
have daily jobbor, and he jobbed away all
my dahlias. | declare could have criedl
Butts very hard to think you're a valuable
bnlb, and when summer comes, you're
nothing but stick and liable
Very provoking indeed
Talk Of traDsplanting they do nothing
but transplant you from one house to an
other, till you don't know where you are.
There was |. thinking was safe in my
own bed, and all the while was in Mr..
Jones'es. lis scandalous
CHEESE The town Of Collins, Erie
county. made $4,000 pounds ofcheese,
during this las; year The town Of Fair
field, lIerkimer couniy,' made 1855 07
pounds during the same period. Herkimer
county turned out annually 6,2o>, l96
pounds OF cheese. This al 8 CENTS per
pound, the present price Of the article,
would give the dairymen Of old Hcrki-
mer S65S, 703, 6S.