Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1845-10-17
From The MeW Orleans Picayuae.
A YANKEE OUTWITTED.

We are always ready to give the natives
OF the "Universal Yankee Nation" full cred
it for shrewdness, sagacity and WISDOM
If there be, as general rule, soft spot in
their character, it is, like the philosophers
stone, not easily discovered. But some
naturalists assert that such things have
been seen as "white hlackbirds;' those who
place any credence in the assertion cannot
surely doubt US when we tell them that W e
have positively seen-saW no later than
yesterday, a green Yankee; one who, in
the confidence of his unsuspecting nature,
actually suffered himself 10 be heeced, by
a "simple" southerner.
We saw the Yankee at the police office,
as We said before, yesterday, where we
went to seek dame justice; lady, like the
north west passage, oitener sought than
found. Earring the transparency, he was
cold, hand, ice-iuced fellow, altogether
whiskerless; but it lie lacked heard he had
a sui plus OF yeIlOwish harr, which clustered
over his coat collar like long sticks of can
dy, as seen in aglass jar in confectionery
window, and he was so thin and tall that
1t would not be surprising if he feels ap-
prehensive Of being broken across the mid
die, and his upper part heing blown off
some stormy day. His dress was loose and
hung StlessIy about him like the sails Of
vessel in a calm.
Alter finding out the Recorder; after ha-
wing caught his eye, as they say in Congress;
Jonathan commenced telling his story thus;
esquire, I'm sweltered individual, u
sed up, done browni there aint nolhin' of
me left; but if wonst get humi out OF this
cussed Lousancr; this steam kettle of all
creation; Fashion, and | gueSs she's the
quickest Crtler ever ran, Fashion herself
could never catch me down south aganl"
Recorder.-"What is the matter! Ifyou
have any complaint to make, Ietme hear il"
Yankee If | have any complaint 10
make, WcIL now, Squire, Iswon to man,
as Eleazur Ellis, the schooImasler, used TO
say, swon, you're subiunCtive; now ray
ther guess | have complaint to make, and
a toterabIe chunk OF one al that. Oh,
Squire, won't Patience be rs riley as all
wrath when she hears tishe'Il be out Of all
patience with me for making such a tarna>
ton fool Of myself, condemn the luck
Recordeh-"It would seem you mean to
make fool OF me, Ii you have any COM
plant to make, state iH if not, withdraw
from the court"
Yankee. .--"Just hold on mint, Squire,
and III set going"
Recorder, ,-"Welh then, proceed"
Yankee 1.-THE fact is, Squire, | cum
down here south on little Specialization,
'tendin' to clear out fore yaiIer fever time;
and if 'twarn't for what happened me TO-
day, I'd make pooty considerable Of prof
it on the Consarn."
Recorder.- "Then let me hear At once
what did happen you"
Yankee. .--"Why, | lost my money; amt
that enough 10 happen any teller any dayl"
Recorder.--"Ilow much did you lose,
and howm
Yankee. e.--"Twenty dollars, darn my
skin if didn't and by one Of the meanesI
tricks that was ever played off on free
Ameican citizen. Why | wouldn't sarve
nlggef so.
Recorder. .--"Then l ask again how were
you served!"
Yankee.--"Most rascallyI as | was ago.
in along on the Levee, maxim caIkila.
tions and taIkin' to myself sees feIlcr
that looked jest "a honest as Parson Potter,
and as respectable as selectman, stoop
down right allure me, and pick up fifty
dollar till, here's the darn consarn, blast
his picture said the Yankee Indignantly, at
the same time taking from his pocket a
clean, but badly forged bill of the Union
Bank. 'Hush' said the ieller to me, al.
mighty silly; 'Hush' said to hint what
am | aleerd Off IN give you half says
he. Il haint no objections, says /, 'seein'
as how you cum by it thoneEtlys | Jest wan.
ted as much as would buy me present to
take hum TO PatienceI but hsnt no change
'Haint youl' said he. Nothing comeatabe
but twenty dollar bil,' saws |, Give it to
me, says heI 'here's the fifty, and I'll call
on you this evening for the ive.' "It's a
trade,' says |, gtvin' him my good twenty
dollar bill, but a cursed had trade II turned
out to me, for this fifty dollar bill ISM worth
the first continental cent, and ] EaGt to