Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1845-03-03
From the Western Literary Journal,
A "REMINISCENCES OF AN OLD
BACHELOR.
BY JOHN SMITH, ESQ.

Much has been said, sung and written
upon this matter Of love, and all to little
purpose.
Twas at party we were first attacked.
We come in late, with goodly quantity of
bad Champagne in our weak head, just in
the situation 10 be easily assailed by the
disorder, and we met it near the entrance
Mephis,opheles, We are told, after leaving
the wilch's den with Faust remarks, tina.
hi companion is in just the situation 10
think the first woman he met an angel
From this we gather that the doctor was
drunk. We were tipsy on that memora
BILE night, and through sort Of cloud saw
our angel, seated at the piano. We to ok
lear upon the mantle, and a long stare
at the divinity before US, for once forget
ting our hands and feet. We saw a null
ti:ude Of ringlets falling over marble
brow, and shoulders Of snowy whiteness.
We saw eyes-full, glorious eyes that wei.
led untold and UNRELIABLE feelings FORTH
We saw figure beautifully rounded, light
as fairy. And then, Oh! ye gods. those
hands, small, plump, delca,ely moulded,
that seemed like gemmed insects, or rather
beautiful Dir is, 20 hover and hutter over
the ivory keys, charming music from the
instrument they scarcely seemed to touch.
Such execution was seldom heard on pr
ano-'twas nothing TO the execution done
on our heart.
Years have passed away. We have seen
beautiful women, and frted with many, but
not one that has rivaled the impression
made that night. An artist has limned her
features, and the painting hangs in our sane
tum; but beautiful as it is, it comes not near
that pictured on our memory. ...
On Widow Green, you were near the
death Of us, you were indeed You snap
ped nearly asunder the chords that bound
us to the idea
"The beautiful is vanished and returns not
As dark shadows steal over the meadow
when the sun departs, SO gloom has settled
on our soul since thy sunny countenance
fled from us forever. Oh! Widow Green,
Or
Hold bring US poatoe--we feel a re-
llPse.
We were introduced, and all evening we
lowered round, (whom! think of a youth
with such feet 'hovering--haunt is the
word) listening to sweet nothngs lisped out
in such frank, simple manner, that the holt
of her beauty had sent smashing through
our poor heart was well rivited. We saw
her hooded and coaked, and helped into
her carriage, and then reeled home drunk
with love and beauty.
The following morning, dressed with I'M
usual care, we called upon our charmer.-
Visit followed fast upon the heels Of visit,
until we became sort Of a fixture at The
widows mansion. We were encouraged in
the most flattering manner. Observant rea-
der, have you ever studied a widow, while
inveiglling an innocent youth into her coils?
If you have, you've some idea of the labor
a youth-a verdant youth-a youth Of the
barrel age may perform. To act the groom
on horseback, TO make night hideous with
serenades, TO spend small fortune in bo-
quets and buggies, TO dance in attendance
at the theatre, balls, parties, lectures, exhi-
bitions, etc.-to do all this is to do but a
small part ofwhat is exac:ed. We worked
Ike slave and expended like a nabob -
Week after week flew by in this service
We became thin and pale and were subject
10 Suauell MS OF poeiy'
What very absurd business. by the by.
is this screnading. For the lady, ii maybe
we'll enough TO be wakened from a deep
sleep, and then soothed 10 slumber again by
strains that steal out on the night air. She
retires rbout 10 P. NJ, after doing up her
lovely locks ID brown paper, pulls over them
a warm night cap, enrolls herself in a gown
that it did not take Mrs. Tippet week TO
fit and fashion, or her immaculate washer
woman to whiien-then cncased she rolls in
snugy, with nothing visible but the tip end
of her lovely nose. When the music AVA
kens her, she opens one ear, and long before
the last quaver dies away,;t is lost in dreams
again.-'rhe day following, the serenaded
boasts, - Oh! had such nice serenade
last might've flutes, fiddle, guitar and all,
and Mr. did sing so--On, myr'--
Well enough, we'll enough. But for full
grown men, after dawdling about on chairs
and sofas until midnight, TO travel round at
tached TO guitars and fiddles, is so absurd.
To feel when twilight dews are falling
FAST that they are watering cold in the
chest, or that The winds that sigh around
thy bower are playing the very deuce with
your hollow tooth; TO know that the guitar
will give place to a catarrh,or that the from
bones will be followed by aching bones, is
sickening. Go 10 balls, parties, srppers-
get drunk-go on spree, and suffer after
wards-there is some alienation in your
misery TO know that there was fun and ex-
element in the deed. But serenadinc is
cold blooded business. Poh!-hre a band
and send them round, with orders to bring
home all that is thrown out, even a chair,
and next morning, after comfortable nights |
rest. you can gather in the laurels.
Here, in the right of an old experienced
bachelor, permit US 10 give one word of adj |
vice to lovers in general. Never spend a
cent in love making. If the girl is worth
having, you cannot purchase her with boz
ca.nuadcS