The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1845-11-04

MRS. cAUDLE,s CURTAIN LECTURES.

| MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
Caudie comes home in the evening Mrs Caudfs has
| 'just stepped out, shopping" On her return, al
ten, Caudie demonstrates.
MIR. Caudle, you ought to have had slave
yes, black slave, and not a wife. I'm sure, ia
| better have been born negro at once-much bet
ter. WHATS The mailer now? Well, ! like that
! Upon my life, Mr.. Caude, that's vsEy cool can't
leave the house just to buy yard Of riband, but
you storm enough to carry the roof Oft. You didn't
siorm?--you only spoke? Spoke, indeed mo, sir:
I've not such supcIfne feelings and ! don't cry
out before I'm hurt. But you ought TO have mar
| ried woman OF stone, for you feel for nobody
that is, for nobody in your own house | only
wish you'd show some Of your humanity at home,
| il ever SO httle--that's all.
| What do you sayi Where's yJesIimgs TO go shop
ping at night? When would you have me gol In
the broiling sun, making my face like a gipsysi |
you think Of anybody's face before your wifes Oh,
that's plain enough; and all the world see il. 1
dare say, now il il was Miss Prettyman's face
now, now, Mr.. Caudle! What are you throwing
yourself about fori l suppose Miss Prettyman
na,ned' suppose she's flesh and blood. What!
| You don't knor Ha! dare say
/ What Mr.. Caudlel You'll hare separate room
you'll not be tormenisd in this manner? No, You
| won't, sir---not while Pm alive A separate room !!
And you call yourself religious man, Mr.. Caude |!
|
read over the marriage service. separate room,
indeed Caude, you're getting quite heather A
separate room! Well, the servants would talk then!
/ But no. no man-not the best that ever trod, eau
dle-should ever make me look SO contemplate
i shanf go TO sleep and you ought to know me
better than to ask me to hold my tongue. Because
). you home when I've just stepped out 10 do a
| little shopping, you're worse than fury ! should
like to know how many hours | sit up for your
i What do you say' Nobody ,canis me 70 sit up !?
Ha! that's like the gratitude of men-just like 'em
| But poor woman can't leave the house, that
WHAT Why can't 60 at reasonable hours? Rea-
sonable' What do you call eight o'clocki Ill went
out at eleven and twelve, as you come home, then
you might talk; but seven or eight o'cock-why it's
the cool Of the evening; the incest time to enjoy a
walk; and, as say, do little bit Of shopping. Oh,
yes, Mr.. Caudle; do think of the people that are
I kept in the shops Just much you; but that's
nothing at all to do with it. / know what you'd
have. You'd have all those young men let away
early from the counter, to improve what you please
to call their minds Pretty notions you pick up
among a set Of freethinkers, and | don't know
what! When was girl, people never talked Of
mnds-intellect, believe you call il. Nonsense |!
new-fangled thing, just come up; and the sooner
it goes out, the better.
Don't tell me What are shops for, if they're
not to be open late and early tool And what are
shopmen, iftheyre not always TO attend upon their
customers? People pay for what they have, sup
pose; and amt to be told when they shall come and
lay their money out, and when they shan't! Thank
goodness ifone shop shuts, another keeps open;
to go to the shop that's open last it's the only way
to punish the shopkeepers that are idle, and give
themselves airs about early hours.
Besides, there's some things like to buy best
at candle light. Oh, don't talk to me about hui
mainly! Humanity, indeed, for pack Of tall,
to be shown for giants! And what have they to
dor Why nothing, but to stand behind counter,
and talk civility, Yes know your notions; you
say that everybody works too much: know that.
You'd have all the world do nothing half its time
but twiddle its thumbs, walk in the parks, 60
TO pcture-gallerics and museums, and such nom
sense. Very fne indeed; but, thank goodness! the
world isnr come to that pass yet.
What do you say am, Mr.. Caude? "A foolish
Voman that can't look beyond my o,cn J6reside Oh,
yes, can; quite far as you, and great deal far
iher But Icann 60 out shopping little with my
| dear friend Mrs. Wittles--what do you laugh at ?
Oh, don't theyi Don't women know what friend
. shipis Upon my life, you've a nice opinion Of
us Oh, yes, we can--we can look outside Of our
own tenders, MIR. Caudle. And if we can't it's all
the better for our families. A blessed thing il would
i be for their wives and children if men couldn't
either. You wouldn't have lent that five pounds
and dare say good many other five pounds that
! know nothing off you-a lord Of the crea-
tion had half the sense women have. You seldom
catch US, believe, lending FIVE pounds | should
think not
\ No: we won't talk Of it tomorrow morning.
You're not going to wound my feelings when come
home, and think Pm to say nothing about it. You
have called me an inhuman person: you have said
have no thought, no feelings for the health and
comfort of my feow-creatures don't know what
you haven't called me; and only for buying l
shant tell you what; no, won't satisfy you there
! but you've abused me in this manner, and only
for shopping up to ten o'clock. You've great
deal of fine compassion, you have Pm sure the
| m
down OK; yes, strong enough to Lift house: but
you pity him-Oh yes, you can be all kindness
for him, and for the world, you call it. Oh, eau
de- what hypocrite you are! | only wish the
world knew how you treated your poor wife
What do you sayl For the love Of mercy, let yo,.
sleep? Mercy, indeed! wish you could show a
little of il TO other people. Oh yes, do know what
mercy means; but that's no reason ! should 60
shopping bit earlier than do---and womb. No,
you've preached this over TO again and again;
you've made 60 to meetings to hear all about il;
but that's reason women shouldn't shop just as
late as they choose. It's all very fine, shy, for
you men to talk to US at meetings, where, Of course,
we smile and all that-and sometimes shake our
white pocket handkerchiefs--an where you say
we have the power of early hours in own hands.
To be sure we have; and we mean to keep ii. That
is, do. You'll never catch mo shopping until The
very last thing; and-as a matter of principle--I1l
a always 60 to the shop that keeps open latest Il
does the young men good to keep 'em close to bust
ness. Improve their minds, indeed! Let 'em on,
at seven, and they'd improve nothing but their BIZ
liards Besides, if they want to improve themselves,
can't they get up this fine weather. aehree2 Where
there's will, there's way, Mr.. Caudle
~ thought writes Caudls, "that she had gone to
sleep. In this hope, ! was DOING off, when she
nudged me, and thus declared herself: 'Caudle you
want nightcaps; but see if bulge to buy 'em ill
nine at night""
Correspondence OF the N. Y. Sun