Bloomington herald. [volume] (Bloomington, I. T. [Iowa]) 1840-1849, 1845-01-03
Rrrr,.o HArs.-1n recent number

BETTING E1ATSs-Au O ISS0 80
we had occasion 10 speak of the mo't'la
rious uses TO which the hat is conver'eo'
in this enteprisng, unitarian and extern
sive country, where even man oea'e'
can claim no exemption from 'oil. ou' -
condemned to all sorts of overworH' ren-
dering the article means OF Transporting
goods, as well as place ofslorage tor such
odds and ends as are likely to come IN
play during the days progress: ASK
child for shy thing and he forthwith takes
off his hat 10 find it; and the child, as
w Wordsworth has it, ia. in this respect as
in others, father to the man. But IN ad-
di,ion these services on the part OF the
hat-Gesler was not so unreasonable,
then, in requiring homage TO be pald 10
10 useful a member of society-bes'des
being employed as receptacle for cigars,
newspapers, collars, apples. ground nuts,
unpaid bills, &c.-besides being means
of saluta.ion and method Of giving en-
piasis 10 hurrah-the hat has one pur-
pose more, which was omitted, strangely
| enough too, at the present moment. when
the fact is SO continually in evidence, and
| we, therefore, hasten 10 correct the error.
! The hal may be considered as a test OF
sincerity in assertion, and as the cllncher
/ of an argument, if a man will not te con-
WINGED by words, that he is wrong; it ne IS
obstinate and will not defer TO your opin-
ions what's the use Of dispuling any
longer! Be. him a hat. 'Pooh-non
sence-why, how you ,alk-l'll bet you
a hats which being done. the heat Of the
controversy is at once abated. The hat
comes down upon the flame of discord
like an ex,inguisher to the rush light. !:
he is unwilling to bet hat. it is the inn
mediate inference that he breads losing a
hat, and has no faith in his own positions.
If he does BET hat, there is for the pres.
ent, nothing more 10 be said. The hat
is peace-maker.
When crowd gathers at the corner,
in high party times, and controversy wax
es fierce, do not be alarmed there will be
no violence, except in words. Instead Of
an assault and battery. it results in gem
eral betting of hats. There is no necessi-
~ for calling on the police-bet them a
hat. Hercules, in big whiskers and with
ponderous fists, rushes savagely at his OPP
ponent. Will murder be committed 3
No, al all homicide is out of fashion,
Hercules bets him a hat 'Ha! ha!'
says Hercules, Five settled that fellow
he's afraid TO bet five dollar hat
The hat, then, is new principle in the
contentious of men, acting as sedative ;
and as Of late years, the violence which
formerly marked elections, has to very
considerable extent, disappeared; the fact
is possibly 10 be attributed TO the grow
ing fondness of betting hats. Perhaps,
as matter of important statistics, it would
be as we'll to provide that in taking the
census diligent inquiry should be made
into ,he number of hats which are thus
brought into the field at every Presiden-
,ial contest. 1t must certainly give {
great impulse every four years, to the
manufacturer of the article and the man
ufacturers themselves, have solid reason
TO rejoice that III bet you a hat has be.
come a national phrase and popuIa
practice; while the philosophers, from
Plato down to Adam Smith, who have 81
} long been puzzled to give a succinct de-
fnilion Of man, and have wandered il
! their description from 'two-legged ami
| nal wilhou. fea,hels,' to "a creature tina
. makes bargains have the work done Il
, their hands in setting down human nature
} as "a being that bets hats