American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1845-03-08
INTRODUCTION TO AN HEIREss.


Bob" said an uncle rushing into my room,
''l'm runed'
"Really!" said |, knocking the ashes from my
third and last cigar
''Yes, ruined, irredeemably Sony specula-
tons, bets, and all have blown up together, and
here am at sixty, fairly done up-diddled-
clean out"
''Devsh pity-what must we do? Pm as
badly off as you, aud lost all my expectations
which were the capital on which traded in So
ciety."
My uncle looked grave for the first time. His
philosophy being Epicurian, according to the
practice of the nineteenth centuary, he lived in
the present moment, enjoying life at the races,
the clubs, and dabbling now and then (adding,
50 to speak, red pepper to brandy,) in those
successors of lotteries-ancy stocks. He had
hitherto hourshed on them, and | on him, as
his heir and favorite.
After making this startling announcement, u
silence of some moments ensued, during which
time finished smoking, and my uncle broke
forth
Bob, you are thirty years old"
''Worse than that, thrty-three."
land you have glimmering of gray hairs"
''Too true, uncle"
"You must get married It's full time to give
up your vagabond life"
"Fne talk, uncle; but who is to support me?"
"Your wife: marry an heress.'
That's Just what have been, with all my
seeming indifference to marriage, ready to do
But an heiress is like ghost or grifin-spoken
or written Of but never seem"
Try, try, my boy Our affairs are despe-
rate. The whole pandemonium of tradesmen
will become yet more mportunate, when they
learn the full extent ofmy losses, which will be
before many weeks; your character will come
down with my purse, so go to work without
moments delay"
"Wel, uncle, I'll try"
That evening | dressed, and went to con-
cert at the theatle o lie Bull was extracting rap
ture from the catgut, and just as he was finish
ing his part, essayed to change my position in
order to get nearer view of new beauty, a
divinity outright, in the boxes, when whom
should espy but my tailor, to whom | owed
an old bill of precisely six hundred and thirty
dollars. | could not dodge him. Fas est ab hoSte
doceri, which being literally interpreted, means,
it is wise to ask the opinion of your tailor; so
going up to him and extending him my hand
/ exclaimed, "This Norwegian monster is truly
wonderful"
"Qute so, said Mr.. Mortimer Shears, and
thereupon we discussed the trembling fiddle
strings at length"
pray Mr.. Shears" said |, 'can you tell the
name of that LADY," and pointing at the same
time to the unknown beauty.
"Perfectly. 1t is Miss -, of Carolina,-
The old gentleman with her is her father. They
live in Walnut-st.; had occasion to visit him
on professional business last week."
II thought as much, Mr. Shears. | could
not be mistaken in your coat" said |, cycling
through my glass the garment of the Carolina
gentleman.
Mr.. Shears blushed deeply, and bowed his
thanks, and limited at the great wealth OF the
strange parties.
Here was some game afoat How to get
acquainted, to become fairly intimate in the
house of the rich fair one was question. A
hum-drum introduction, frigid ordinary visit
would not suit my necessities. A bold thought
struck me. | will carry it out. will get into
the house, not for minutes, but for days and
nights. | will appear in the most interesting
positions to sympathetic woman. | will
storm the fortress. | will retrieve my fallen
fortunes. So | murmured confdentially to
myself The concert was breaking up. The
charming Southerner passed by me, hanging
on her fathers arm-more lovely from a close
look My love and ambition were alike fired
Cab, sur-r?-cab, sur r?-does the gentle
men want cab?" said Jimmy Haggerty.
ayes, my good fellow. Do you see that
lady and gentleman getting into cab before
us?''
Goes, to be sure"
"Well, drive after them, and just as they are
setting themselves down at the door, wish tc
be set down too, but not quite so gently among
them
'The gentlemen wishes to be upset? | sees
through it all; but there will be damages to the
cab, and"
Eyes, I'll give you ten dollars"
Chow, can you, when you're senseless the
hard brick pavement!'
"Well, take it now. Drive quickly, or you
will miss your mark"
In few moments the carriage we were fol-
lowing stopped at splendid mansion. The
lady and her father alighted, and just as they
were on the marble steps, my cab mans horse
become suddenly FESTIVE. The wheel ran
against convenient lamp post, and the cab
was thrown against the coach and in attempt.
ing TO get out | was thrown with my heac
against the curb stone. In truth, Jimmy hac
managed so well, that my fall was no tritte-
The skin on my forehead was cut, and the
blood, with the excitement of the evening hac
driven in extra quantity to that region, flowed
with decent profusion. A shrek OF terror II
the sweetest imaginable tone came from TIM
lady, as she was standing on the steps Of thu
house, and she turned round OH hearing thu
noise of the mishap. | became, as in dut,
bound, senseless, but contrved to understand
that the fair one was very much agitated, ant
that her father, instantly assembling the ser
wants, had me borne into the house, not for