Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1845-03-19
TEMPERANCE.
Tnos. FREAN's TEMPERANCE STORY.
FOUNDED ON FACT.

that my c0untrymen, the Irish, are great
fools aud blunderers aud no wonder,
they have been in the habit of drinking
some ten million gallons OF whiskey an
nually, and this quantity of spirits. sir, is
enough 10 turn nation of philosophers
into fools.
The traveller, as he passes through Ire
land, always notices in the suburbs Of ev-
cry town some invitation 10 the more hum
BILE wayfaring man TO stop and spend the
night. These invitations are extended by
having black boards hung over the door,
with LODGINGS" painted on them. Some
times degree of comparison is employed,
and DRY Lodging" is placed on the
board and sometimes my host rises to the
superlalive, and has Good Dry Lodging"
painted on bis little black board. II chanc-
ed, sir, that The landlord Of one Of these hou-
ses declined business, and moved into the
country, where turf and house rent, at
least were cheaper, and where his COW
could have the benefit Of pasturage on the
common, instead Of being fastened up in a
house.
But perfect happiness is not The lot Of
man on earth. New trials awaited our
friend iu The country. His COW copside-
ring herself entitled to peculiar privileges,
from having lived in town, jumped into
The cabbage garden ofone neighbor, the
potato field of another, and the parsley
patch of third yea, il was even said that
she attempted TO hook little boy who
went to race her from mischief so that
every morning the retired landlord bad as
many unwelcome messengers as Job.
Your black COW. Bremack," would one
say, "has ruined our garden last night"
Anon another would come. "Bremack
has broke into Our potato field again, and
ruined TWO ridges" Brenack, sir" would
another say, "has jumped tho fence, train
pied down our flax and you must keep her
up" .Neighbor, would yet another say, II
come to tell you either to sell or keep up
your COW Bremach, if not we must take
the matter in hand ourselves, as The chill
der are all afraid 10 80 to school on her
account"
Mike Rafferty, ifor such was the name
Of our troubled and perplexed friend,}
must therefore choose between spanciing
(dlias e-lining) or blind folding Bremack
for either selling or imprisonment were
out Of the question.
Mike, sir, was merciful, aud asked
himself how he would ~isb matters dispo-
sed Of ifhe were in the place of his COW.
In a word, how he would like 10 be tied
by The feet. 'Ah," says Mike, lit would'n,
do! An lrishmau never loves to be tied;
he wants 10 60 and court his sweetheart
he wants 10 go and fight bis enemy;
'twon't do either for myself or my COW 10
be tied" This disposed Of the question
of blindfolding next came up, and Of the
two evils was The one preferred. "True "
says Mike, sit is hard case but Jenny
Noonau, The piper, is even blind, Ossian
was blind, aud poor Carolan, the last Of
the Irish harpers, was blind, too" Thus
saying, he looked about Cor board or
plank 10 place before old Brelnack's,
eyes, when, in lucky momen, he be-
though, of lis old useless sign hoard, and
determined to employ il for the purpose.
In the midst even of perplexity and
grief the Irish have slumbering spirit Of
drollery that may be awakened iu an in
stant. AS Mike and his wife were fasen-
Ing on the sienboard, it occurred 10 him
that putting the letlered side oul, would
cause some merriment, and perhaps allay
some Of The ill-will towards his COW The
le,tered side was therefore, placed outside,
and Bremack let loose with Good Dry
Lodging" suspended from her horns..
Ii CHANGED that on the same day Mikes
COW was thus turned o1t, one Of The neigh
bors went 10 the village of Sorha, and
returned home a; night, drunk-sloriously
drunk. 1t a summers night, the stars
were somew hat diriimcd by heavy al.
and The moon; obiy in her first
quarter, retired occasionally behind a
friendly cloud, like bashful maiden 10
her chamber, tired Of the continued gaze |
or ardent admirers.
Our hero passed The meadows Of Sor-
la, the bog Of Grandge, and the pasture Of
Breda nor did he pass silently nor stead
ly along. No! far from it; he commeu-
red singing "Moll row." but the air being |
rather complicated for man in his condi-
lion, he had 10 desisI, and succeeded better
with ':The Green Flag Flying" after
which he commenced upon "Corolan's
Receipt for Drinking .Whiskey," and set
he neishborins wa,ch-dogs barking as he
beloved forth,
III man aud his wife
Should chance TO have strife,
Or even live u discontented life at home,
Let them drink, and III 60 bail
That these evils on'tprevaii,
For then ,hey'l live as happy as the Pope Of
Rome"
But alb his merrimenl and bis song
we're both suddenly suspended blythe dis.
;overy of large black object lying direct
y in the path he was travelling. He
stopped short, looked, proceeded a little
arlher aud looked more narrowly his
learl beat faster aud higher up lhau usual,
,ut be silently rebuked himself for even
he semblance of fear. He drew a little
nearer, and discoYered, 10 his amazement,
like sign bord, which the
noon jus, then enabled him to spell "e''
90" "Failh, there's :wo o's. 600 u
,.R-Y-Good Dry-L.o. n q in G-Good