The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1845-11-01

I"S0' o'et nlo Dtedu udSheN, UUt u Wdb HU
so--fol with every effort he only inrreaset
Ihe size Of the bunch of shirt tha, stuck
out "a feet between The buttons aud button
holes Of The waissband After exhaus,ing
himself in vain attempts 10 close the OPEN
ing in his rether garments, he approached
'he Doctor, who appeared to be asleep and
after arousing him, if he could tell what
had occasloned the sudden disproporlion
between his unmenlonaSles and ,ha. part
of his person which now refused 10 be en-
closed in them.
why, yes' said the Doctor; rising and
|scru'lnlzng Ned closely--'n is jus. as pliin
as the nose on your lace-you have been
drinking and swlIIing, at such rate lately
that US, wha, predicted has come true
you have GOV The dropsy"
Great God! you dou, tell me SOL ejacu
'aled the poor Lieutenant, as he claspe d
his hands together and fell back in an arm
chair. 'Oh! .ha, had listened 10 your
advice, my deaf fellow! Can, you do some
Thing 10 save me!'
I'LL try" was The reply; 'but you mus,
90 10 bed, keep on low diet. avoid AL sum
ulaliug drinks, AID lake such medicines as
| may prescrbe'
'Thank you, Doctor will do anything
in the world TO get rid of this horrible dis
ease said Ned, 'and if you will only cure
me, III promise TO stop drinking altogether
Doctor, do YOU think shall have 10 be
lnpped!'
i. is impossible 10 say. Ned. but added
the Doctor, 'as you are young, and have a
good constitution, | think we may avoid
tina. operation, provided you keep sull and
On your back!
Ned followed the Doctors advice strictly
took simples, die.ed and kept on his back,
willis, the Doctor IL Ned's brother officers
10 whom the joke had been impaired, were
enjoy ing themselves al his expense. Every
day he would receive half a dozen visits OF
coincidence from the subs. Of The garrison
each Of whom would express his sur
prise al the enlarged stale Of Ned S corpor
osiiy. Al the end Of a week, the Doctor
again ahslracled Ned's breeches e. drawers
had them restored 10 their proportions.
eplaced by the bedside OF his unsuspecing
plient; and then told HIM to rise and dress
himself. So indeed he did ant Ned soc
ound, to his infinite joy. that his clothes
we're almost ss much TOO large for him now ,
As they were before too smalI-al symp
toms of drop'y having disappea'ed-.hauk>
10 the kind atent on Of the Doctor; which
literally bestowed on him by Ned.
Doctor bound all The officers 10 secresy and
Ned's dropsy became The standing joke of
,ae garrison
Time passed on, and by accident or de
sign, Ned made the acquaintance Of the faiI
4 would not say frai) one, whom the Doc
tor employed as seams,ress-.he very per
son he had engaged 10 sew up the Lleulen
,nt's inexpressibes- a matter Of course,
he had not advanced far into her affections
before she threw out hints that awakened
Ned's suspicious, and with little manage
,neni, he soon possessed himself Of all the.
particulars of The trick that had been played.
on him.
No longer having the fear of death from
dropsy before his eyes, Ned reIapsed into
his old lab Is, jus, as easy as falling of
log and the Doctors nightly perseculi ons
agaid commenced. The temperance lee =
lures were renewed, & the late hair-breadtb
escape was held up before hmm terrorem'
but to no purpose. Ned's constant reply
TO all ,he admonlions OF The Doctor was
"A short and merry one!' Atlimes, how
ever, Ned would appear melancholy and
detected, and would say to the Doctor, that
he was tired of his existence, and that he
must not be surprised if he put an end 10
himself,
About II o'clock one night, after the
Doctor had retired 10 rest, 81 was snoozing
away very comfortably, protected from as
saints of mosquitoes by well tucked pa,il
ION, he was suddenly aroused from his sluln
dI Der by iheit ntrahce of Ned who was very