The Kalida venture. [volume] (Kalida, Ohio) 1841-1865, 1845-05-16
From the London Punch.
). Caud,e's Curtain H.ectures.

IN her grave than married! That is, if she
canpt be married TO decent man! No,
don't care if you are tired, l s6an't let you
60 TO sleep. No, and [ won't say what
have to say in the morning; III say it nor.
It's all very we'll for you to come home at
what time yowlbe; is now half past twelve;
ond expect I'm to hold my tongue, and let
you go TO sleep. What next, wonder? A
woman had better he sold for slave at
once.
"And so you've gone and joined club!
The skylarls, indeed A pretty skylark
you'll make Of yourself! But won't stay
10 be ruled by you. No, I'm determined on
that I'll go and take the dear children,
and you may get who you like to keep your
house. That is, as long as you have
house to keep, and that won't lie long, |
know.
How any decent man can go and spend
his nights in tavern! Oh, yes, Mr.. Csudlc;
! dare say you do, for rational conversation.
should like TO know how many of you
would care for what you call rational con-
vcrsation, if you had it without your filthy
brand y-and-waier, yes, aud your more filthy
tobacco smoke I'm sure the last time you
camo home, had the headache for week.
But know who it is who's taking you to
destruction. It's that brute Prenymau. He
has broken his own poor wife's heart, and
now he wants to-but don't you think Il,
Mr.. Candle; III not have my peace of mind
destroyed by the best man iha, ever trod.
Oh, yes! know you dent care rs long as
YOU can appear well TO all the world; but
the world little thinks how you behave 10 me-
II shall know It though; that I'm determined.
How any man can leave his own happy
ireside, 10 go and sit, and smoke, and drink,
and talk with people who wouldn't. one Of
them, lift finger to save him from hanging;
how any man can leave his wife, and good
wife too, though say it, for parcel Of pot
companions, oh! IFS disgraceful, Mr.. Caudle; |;
rs unfeeing. No man who has the least
love for bis wife could do it. m
"And suppose this to be the case every
Sa:urdqy? But | know what I'll do.
know-I's no use Mr.. Caudle, you calling
me good creature: I'm not such fool as
20 be coaxed in that way. No, if you want
to go to sleep, you should come home in
Christian time, not at half past twelve
There was imc when yoTwere Us regular
A, your freside as kettle. That was when
you were decent man, and didn't go with
Heaven knows who, drinking and smoking
and making what you think your jokes. |
never heard any good come 10 man who
cares about Jokes No respectable trades
man does. But I know what I'll do: I'll
scare away your Skyarks. The house sells
liquor after twelve of Saturday night; and
# don't write TO the magistrates. and have
the license taken away, rm'not lying in this
bed this night. Yes, you may call me a
foolish woman; but no, Mr.. Caudle, no; it's
you who are the foolish man; you're q
wicked enc. IF you were TO die tomorrow,
and the people who 90 10 the public houses
do all they can 10 shorten their lives, I should
like to know who should write upon your
tombstone, "a tender husband and an
afectionate father" I'D have no such
fasohoods told of you, assure you.
"Going and spending your money; and.
nonsense! don't tell me; no, if you were
10 ten times swear it, | wouldn't believe
that you only spend eighteen pence; |
know better, I'm not quite fool, Mr.. eau
die. A great deal you could have for ls
pence! And all the Club married men, and
fathers of Eamlies. The more shame fo'
'em! Skylarks indeed! They should call
themselves Vultures; for they can only do
as they always do by robbing their innocent
wives and children. Eighteen renee week
And if it was only that; do you know what
fifly-two eighteen pences come TO in year.
Pm sure can' ou, of the house money, buy
myself pincushion; though I've wanted one
these six months. No, not SO much as ball
of cotton. But what do you care, so you
can get your brandy-and water? There's
the gills, too--the things they want!--
They're never dressed like other peoples
children. But it's all the same to their fa
ther Oh, yes! So he can go with his Sky
larks they may wear sackcloth for plnatores
and pack thread for garters
You'd better not let that Mr.. Prettyman
come here, that's all; or, rather you'd bette
bring him once. Yes, should like 10 see
him. He wouldn't forget it. A man who
may say, lives and moves only in spittoon
A man who has pipe in his mouth as con
slant as his front teeth. A sort Of taverl
king, with 10, of fools, Ike you to laugl
at what be thinks his jokes, and give hin
consequence. No, Mr.. Caudle, no; it's NJ
use your telling me to go to sleep, for
won't. Go TO sleep indeed! Pm sure its al
most time to get up. hardly know what
the use of coming to bed at all, now.
"The Skylarks, indeed! suppose you''
be buying a I" Little Warbler" and at you
time of life be trying TO sing. The peacock
will sing next. A pretty name you'll &C.
in the ncighborhood, and, in very It'll
time, nice face you'll have. Your nose