Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1845-05-16
Mrs. CaNdle's Curtain Lectures.
Lecture X on Nh. Caudle's shirt buttons

Lecture X on Nh. Caudle's shirt buttons.
There, MIR. Candle, hope you're in lit
tie better temper than you were this morning!
There-you needn't begin to whistle: people
don't come to bed to whistle. But it's like
you. can't speak that you don'ttry to insult
me. Once, used to say, you were the best
creature living: now. you get quite fiend.-
Do let you rest? No, won't let you rest!
It's the only time have to talk to you, and
you shall hear me. I'm put upon all day
long: it's very hard if can't speak word at
night; and it isn't often | open my mouth,
goodness knows!
"Because once in your lifetime your shirt
wanted a button, you must almost swear the
roof off the house! You didn't swear! Ha,
MIR. Candle, you don't know what you do
when you're in passion. You were not in
a passion, wern't you? Well, then, ! don't
know what passion is-,and think [ ought
by this time. I've lived long enough with
you, Mr.. Caudle, to know that.
''1t's pity you havn't something worse to
complain of than shirt button off your shirt.
If you d some wives you would, know. I'm
sure I'm never without a needle-and thread in
my hand. What with you and the children,
I'm made perfect slave of. And what's my
thanks? Why, if once in your life buttons
off your shirt--what do you cry 'oh' at
say once, Mr.. Caudle; or twice, or three times,
at most. I'm sure, Caudle, no mans buttons
in the world are better looked after than yours.
| only wish I'D kept the shirts you had when
you were first married! | should like to know
where were your buttons then!
"Yes, it is worth talking of! But that's
how you always try to put me down. You
fly into rage, and then if | only try to speak
you won't hear me. That's how you men
always will have all she talk to yourselves: a
poor woman isn't allowed TO got word in.
ga nice notion yon have of a wife, to sup
pose she's nothing to think of but her hus-
bands buttons, A pretty notion, indeed, you
have Of marriage. Ha! if poor women only
knew what they had 20 60 through! What
with buttons, and one thing and another
They'd never tie themselves up with the hes,
man in the world, I'm sure. What would
they do, Mr.. Caudle? Why, do much better
without you, Pm certain.
'And it's my belief, after all, that the but
ton wasn't off the shirt: it's my beIiet that
you pulled it off, that you might have some
2 thing to talk about. Oh, you're aggravatine
enough, when you like, for anything All
7 know is, it's very odd that the button should
? be off the shirt; for Pm sure no woman's z
greater slave to her husbands buttons than
, am. | only say, it's very odd.
"However, there's one comfort; it can't las
t long. I'm worn to death with yonr temper
and sha'n't trouble you great while. la
: you may laugh! And dare say you would
laugh! I've no doubt of it! That's your love
, that's your feeling! / know that I'm sink
, ing every day, though ] say nothing about it.
And when I'm gone, we shall see how your
second wife will look after your buttons -
You'll find out the difference, then. Yes
Caude, you'll think of me, then: for then,
hope, you'll never haze blessed button &c
: your back.
"No, I'm not vindictive woman, Mr.. eau
die; nobody ever called me that, but you.-
What do you say Nobody ever knew SC
much Of me! That's nothing at all to do with
: it. Ha! wouldn't have your aggravatIng
; temper, Caudle, for mines of Told. It's Z
, good thing I'm not as worrying as you are
or nice house there'd be between US. on
, ~ wish you'd had a wife that ,vould have
f talked to you! then you'd have known the diff
= ference. But you impose upon me, because
/ like poog fool, say nothing. l should be
! ashamed Of myself, Caudle.
! "And pretty example you set as fAther
You'll make your boys as bad as YOURSELF
Fl Talking as you did all breakfast-time abou
your buttons! And of a Sunday morning too
And you call yourself christian! | shoult
like to know what your boys will say Of yor
: when they grow up! And all about Paltry
button off one Of your wristbands: A decent
man wouldn't have mentioned it. Why won
> RI hold my tongue1 Because l won't hold my
tongue. I'm to have my peace OF mind de
: stroyed-I'm to be worried into my grave TO
: miserable shirt-qutton, and I'm to hold my
tongue! Oh! bnt that's just like yon, men!
J.. But know what I'll do for the future
i Every button you have may drop off, and
| won't so much as put thread to 'em. And
h should like TO know what you'll do then T
y Oh, you must get somebody else to sew 'em
must you! That's pretty threat to hold on
to a wife! And to such wife as I've been
;. too such negro-slave to your buttons, as
s may say! Somebody else to sew 'em, eh +
: No, Caude, no: not while I'm alive! Whe
q I'm dead-and with what | have to bea
: there's no knowing how soon that may be-
when I'm dead, | say-oh! what brute yo
It. must be to snore so!
d "You'te not snoring1 Hal that's what yo