Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1845-01-16
THURSDAY MORNING, JANUARY 16, 1915.

now attracted BY this and now by that
never certainly there nor never GER.
tainly here. He canno. make up his
J mind which shall win--and all his adyis.
ing with bis friends Timpkins aRd Simp-
kins. two leaders of the opposite parties,
only increases his difficulties. He be-
thought him of voting blank ticket, but
was afraid OF discovery--he then thought
he would be sick--teing up the knocker,
mufiiing the bell, and having load Of tan
placed before his door. In this mind he
goes TO Timpkins -
"Timpkins. be said putting his hand
to his head in a touching manner, "Timp-
kins, these excitements--this suffering
for my country--does me brown. do
believe, Timpkins, there is something
wrong here, in my upper storv--my head,
Timpkins has an empty feel
"Garress to LEI, perhaps" replied limp
kins.
| Don't be joking. Tiupkins. Ii seems
sometimes as if had no head on nay
shouIders--my head, you see"
"Well," said Timpkins, there's MOTH
ing in that; and if you can get along
without head, it saves hats"
''l'ye an idea, Timpkins, yes--l know
/ II am going to be sick--at such a time,
too--the loss of one, vote has sometimes
turned the scale--l'd rather die than have
it said tina, Peleg w. Ponder did not do
his duty"
| "Good again. Ponder-you'ro the
4 -. Ill h.
said that you did not vote, if there's a
single puff of breath left in your body. I"
"WhatP cried Ponder, somewhat
aghast.
ayes, Ponder-I'l see to i,-just be as
sick as you've a mind to--be as sick as
you like-have the conniptions, or any
thing you please, So that you are still able
to wink and hold ticket in your fist
I'll come after you in CALDWELL ride
you to the polls, bed and al--doctors,
physic, every thing to make you comfor-
table: and then, when we're done with
you, Peleg, why. you may hop the twig
just as soon as It suits your convenience
lit won't make any differences, you know,
after the election. la patriotic pint OF
view, Peleg, and that's the view you al
ways take, a mans OF no kind Of use ai-
ter the election"
"But won't ketch death. OF cold 7"
inquired Peleg, in detection, "colds is
such bad things when they're bad colds. !"
"What if you do, periodically consld-
ered-what's man ia comparison 10 a
vote--what's bad cold compared to glo.
Iryl Your vote won. ketch cold; and
il the worst should happen, we'll have
paragraph about it in the newspapers |;
and at every election that is to come,
we'll be able 10 coax all the sick voters
to turn out by telling 'em how it was the
death Of you. Youth be immWtaIlzet
cheap"
Peleg also consulted Simnkins, who is
on the other side, relative to the same dis
tressing matter; but Simpkins for once
agreed with T,mpkins as TO the proper
method ofprocedure. twas bis decided
opinion that if peleg should chance to be
unyell, he must of course be carried TO
the polls, at all hazards. because, as Mr..
Simpkins observed in kindly manner,
"it wasn't Of no consequence whatsome-
ever, il Peeg w. Ponder, did deiunct, as
soon as bis vote bad been got in. They
could SEND him home after the polls had
closed.
"a man cant live forever, you know.
peleg," said Simpkins, IN the way of con.
ISOLATION and you've been about here a
good while, it can't make much differ
ence--after you have voted. There will
be plenty of US left" And thus, finding
no encouragement among his friends, on
either side IN reference to his favorite pro.
lect, Peleg abandoned the idea of being
sick, especially as he remembered that The
voter in cab haring with placards and
streaming with banners, has no chance
al all. Political cabs are always distinct
ly and decidedly for somebody and those
who ride in them, are likely to be set
down as being for the same person.
at won't do" groaned Peleg; ga man
} can't possibly ride in two cabs, or in more
than one bus-not at the same time. Ii
J must go, I'll wslk-l've got two legs
any how-a leg on each side-a hand on
each side-yes, and sharp eye on each
J side. All want is a vote on each side,
so that might go in TO EN- right and left,
swing corners; sashay, and lemonade all
round."
Chance! It struck Peleg that he
would have recourse to chance-to the
sortes Vrgilane-io decide upon what
should be the nature OF his vote, from a
feeling that perhaps genius hovers in the
ar, who, if properly appealed TO, will di-
rect the cratic and doubtful steps of the
great family of the Ponders. BE betook
himself to 5y. place, and after looking
cautiously around Peleg drew a penny
from his pocket-Hends is Simpkins side
tails is T'impkins' sde--whichever
comes up oftenest, that's my side.'-
Tired of coppers, he drew lots--wearied
with lots, he had recourse to various 9TH
er means but as he never felt sufficient.
ly satisfied to stop, these devices lett him
pretty much as he was before. 81 wish, !"
said Peleg, 81 could only come across the
man who was fool enough to invent these
elections-I'd like TO know who found out
about voting, just 10 plague mo every
year. Nice business to be sure, TO be
compelled to think--to do something
when you don't know wba, to do; and