Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-04-26
A WRESTLING

A WRESTLING IANKEE.--Somc
years since, Yankee from the land OF
emotions" travelling westward, found
himself minus Of cash, after his arrival
at the nourishing and beautiful village
of Painsvillc, Ohio. But Yankees are
proyerbial for tact, and can turn their
wits many ways, to supply the needful.
SO our Yankee traveller being keen at
whistling, pcrambuatcd the village,
with his hands stuck in his empty pock-
cts, whistling variety ofnational airs,
much to the amusement of all. Seeing
that his employment "took' with the
multitude, he set himself up as teacher
Of the Science Of Whis.Iing, and reas-
oned very gravely, that as multitudcs
would whistle, it would be well for
them to learn the science, rightly judg.
ing, that what ought to be done at all,
shohld be done WE'LL. c. upon scien-
tilic principles. He believed that there
were far less persons vino could learn
this science, than was generally suppos-
ed-:hat there was no reason why the
female sex, with acknowledged better
voices than males. should be denied the
privilege Of wbistling; and descanted
largely upon the vantage TO be derived
from thorough knowledge Of the sci
ence. In short, school was started
at once, and many young limb Of the
law, medical students and clerks, with
t:cir ladies, were subscribers. The
price wasfxcd at fifty cents per couple
and always paid in advance, by which
our Yankee friend well spliced his
POCKETS.
The evening for the first lesson ar
rived-and with it "a goodly number Of
gents and ladies, at n Hotel, waiting
the promised instruction. The prelim-
mary observation was made, that no
one would be assured fany improve.
mcnt, without they carried out the pre-
else instruction and obeycd the COM
mands of the teacher.
All were standing upon the floor,
upon the tip toe Of expectation, when
our Yankee gave forth his first Command
with great gravity" PREPARE TO
PICKUP All anticipated the next
command. "PucKrR,'-and instantly
roar Of laughter SHOOK the house to
its foundation.
1t is unnecessary to say that the
next day our Yankee traveller was
seen vending his way westward, with
full pockets, and whistling many "A mer-
ry tune, while those who had taken
their first lesson in science of whistling,
were hailed at every turn of the street,
with the words" PREPARE TO
PucKER"-" PUcKER!!"
RAILROAD SPEED OUTDoNE. Last
Friday night, in the village of Vienna,
two irishmcn in attempting TO draw
water from well some 50 feet deep,
lost the BUCKET. After consulting, it
was agreed that one should take hold
Of the rope or chain, and the other by
the windass should slower him down"
At the word ready off it went, sure
enough! the man at the helm loosing
his hold on the windlass! How long,
Jimmy was travelling to the regions be-
low, is n mltter OF conjecture among
the good people of The village. The
man above, was the first TO break ST
lcncc, who after straining his eyes to
catch glimpse of his comrade, eX.
claimed, "And bc--lear Jimmy and
did yc hit anywhcrc" The reply o
The man below, laundering in the wa,
ter, was equally ludicrous; ''Sure," he
blubbcrcd out, barring the wathcr, il:
only the bottom | sthruck, surc!" AC
ter the man was restored to terra-frma
there was a good deal Of explanation.
and the whole matter was compromis'
ed over glass of grog! Jimmy THINKS
il was MT for the honor Of riding
he'd rather go on foot. IOntario Mes,
Nh. BENroN.-"Thc Town. n
newspaper in New York, has the fol-
lowing authentic and characteristic
letter:
WASHINGTON, Feb. 90, io45.
PoLK-Duly impressed with the
position which | maintain as one ofthe
fathers of Democracy, if not the prin-
cipal father, aud therefore your partic-
ular friend and adviser, drop YOU a
syllable of caution. Beware of Cal
houn, Beware Of Wright. Beware oil
d 4 i