Mobile register and journal., 1845-05-21
From tha I.nndnn Funch

MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES. Mr Caudie has rentured nsnuatc fhot Mrs. c. bet-
 fer not abroad so much Mrs. Caudls flares up
 Mir. Caud,e, it would try lhr patience of a saint. Go abroad too much; you might well say that, il l stayed out with the skylarks, other precious el lows, iiil mdnighl, spending more than earned.- But it IS just SO, always wIih poor She must be slave, and found fault Nilh besides. When I am dead, Mr. Csudle. and shani live lnng-when am dead, you un'eeling man, then you w have this to reflect upon. "Don't tell me you'd be to have die! Gon'l believe it. You would be glad you know you would. Then you could marry some
 rt of girl who would mol bear with your ei TOTS as l have. Don't tell me I'm good girl, and you love me. You act as though you do Once you did. Then l was your dear Margaret, your honey, your sweet love; now you tumble into bed time of night and If just venture to say that don't like it, you gn To sleep before finish the sentence. you do.- Caude, you're wretch; and if ever l catch you marvin any oi hese lamty things about town 10 be mother 10 my clilen, I'll haunt the huuse in she leaves it. W hl! you don't mean to marry second iIint! Don't tel me that, you uneel,ng man. IL is just as much as say lead you such a life that you dare not. DOn'l say t1 me you wont marry agan,- Have you no regard Tor your family; for my tender chIen, that will be inolierless, and almost father less-lor Pm sure its seldom ihe sweet things will see you. Cauile if you don't marry again whein n dead-- 1T you oon'i provide mother for my dar- l'ngs, 'li haunt you till you de-l will as Pm a prudent Christian.
 What do yousay you'll marry again lefore die, as il will please me! You wicked Il an I shouldn'l wonder Il you were to fall out of bed. afraid to sleep with you br fear shall be swallowed up- What are you ioing, Mr. Caudlel getting out oi bed! Don't fel me it's to relieve my fears! ll's no such thng. lt's to go and swil! with that Pretty man. Don't be dunce, sir. Get into bed again or won't live witt you another day. i'li go home 10 mothers and pine in solitude, and die victim 10 your treatment Once it was not You used 10 say, my dear Mrs Caudle, fear you shui ,ourse Il up too much al home, you bring decline and early deah am then what will your devoted Caudle do! He will pine and die too Go abroad, my dear you would say, and let the healthiul breezes kiss that lovely cheek. Now, because l venture ( ut only four or five days m d week, you call me 'gadder about Precious good care you lake never 10 go with me.
 What are you tossing about in that way for, Mir. Caude. don't wonder you are in pain. If your conscience isn't male of aabaster, it must burn you. Don't tell me you want to go to sleep! Don't you suppose want to go 10 sleep too! But 1 can't sleep; such treatment takes away my appetite. It makes me wish was an ArabIan savage, on the deserts of America, wandering about in ihs tropical climates of he Lorth, rather than be the wife of SO unleeng man!
 And you won't marry again 10 please me! You shall marry again! My children shall have mother as long as they live-and she shal be good mother 10 them! None of your foolish chiis, who thnk they know more than their parents I'll tell you who you shall marry. prudent. respectable aged woman, that will have bright eye your fooleres-and not ne so weak and forgiving an kind as have been. You shall marry. Mir. Caudle-and these may be my last words. You shall ma r.r-y the w-i-d-o-w-
 [liere, says Caudlc's manuscript, my wife dropped off, and was spared the pain uf hearing the name of some antiquated lady my selected second wife. Never was more unfegnedly thankful for any sleep than 1 was for this.