Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1845-08-14
-AAUlUlsam So
FROM 1nE LoNpoN rUSch.
MRS. CAuDIE's
G Il RTAIN LECTURES.


~ u RTAIN LECTU RES.
lcArDLr IN TIE COURSE or rnE nay mas
vENTuRED TO QUESTION TIM ECoNoMY
or WASHING Ar moaE."
"Pooh 4 pretty temper you come 10
/. bed in, Mr.. Capdle, can see Oh, don't
deny It'll lhmk ought 10 know by this
time. But us always the way when
ever get up few things, the mouse can
hardly hold youl Nobody cries out more
about clean linen than you do-sud no.
body leads poor woman SO miserable
liio when she trles to make her husband
comfortable. Yes, Mr.. Caudle- oomlor.
table You needn't keep chewing the
word, as II you couldn't swallow ii. Vas
mere eper sltcA a CONAN No Caudle;
hope not should hope no other wife
was ever put upon as am It's all very
well for you. ] cant have a litlle wash
al home like any body else, but you must
60 about tie house swearing to yourself.
and looking al your wife as IL she was
your 5itterest enemy. But | suppose
you'd rather we didn't wash at all. Yes:
then you'd be happy! TO be sure you
would-you'd Ike 10 have oil the chit
dren IN their dirt, like potatoes ANYTHING.
SO that il didn'l disturb you. wish you'd
had wife who'd never wushed--Med
have suited you, she would. Yes a
tine lady, who'd have let your children
go that you might have scraped 'em.--
She'd have been much better cared for
than am. ! only wish could le, all Of
you go without clean linen at all-yes.
all of you. wish could! And i'll
wasn't slave 10 my family, unlike any.
body else, should
"No, Mr.. Caude the house isn't toss
ed about in water as il It was NoAH's
Ark And you ought 10 DO ashamed OF
yourself TO talk OF NoAH's Ark in that loose
manner. I'm sure don't know what
I've done to be married TO a man Of such
principles. No; and the whole house
doesn't taste OF soap-suds eiber and il
it did, any other man but yourself would
be above naming 1t. suppose don't
Like washing day any moro than yourself
What do you sayi Yes; do. Hal
you're wrong there, Mr.. Caudle. No;
don't like II because il makes every boz
dy else uncomfortable. No; and ought
not to have been born mermaid. that
nigh, always hive been in the water.
mermaid indeed What next will you
call mel Bot no man, Mr.. Caudle. seys
such things to his wife as you--IIowever
as I've said before il can't last long, hats
one comfort. What do you say you're
glad Of az You're brute, Mr.. Caudlol
No, you didn't mean washing know
what you meant. 4 pretty speech 10
woman who's been tie wife 10 yoa have!
You'll repent it when It's too late; YES,
| wouldn't have your feelings when I'm
gone, Caudle; no, not for the Bank OF
England.
"And when we only wash once fort.
night. Hal only wish you had some
wives: they'd wash once week Be-
sides, Il once lorlnight's too much for
you, why don't you give mo money that
we may have things 20 go month? Is
it my fault, if we're short1 What do
you say? Ny once fortnight lasts
three days? No, ii doesn't never; well,
very seldom. and that's the same thing.
Can help il, If the blacks will fly, and
the things must be rinsed again No;
Pm mol made happy by the blacks, and
they don't prolong my enjoymen, and,
more than that, you're an unleellng man
to say so. You're enough to make
woman wish herself in her grayo--you
are, CAUDLE.
"And pretty example you set TO your
sons Because we'd little wash 10. day,
and there wasn't not dnner-and who
thinks OF getting anything hot for washer.
women l--because you hadn't every thing
as you always have it, you must swear
at the cold mItton-and YOU don't know
what that mutton cost a pound, dare
say you must swear at sweet, whole
some joint like lord. WHAT You
didn't soeay2 Yes, it's very well for YOU
to say so but know when youie swear.
lng FL; and you swear when you little think
Il; and say you must go on swearing
rs you did and seize your hat like saw
age, aud rush out OF the house, and take
your dinner at tavern A pretty wife
people must think you have, when they
find you dining at n public-house. 4
NICE home they must think YOU have.
Mr. CAuDLE What YouHdo 60 eue-
ny time Trash Very we'll, Mr.. CAu.
DLE-gery well. Wen soon see who's
tired Of that, Grst; for IN wash stock
ing day il that's all, sooner tbaa YOU
should have everything as you like
la! that's SO Ike you you'd trample
everybody under foot, If you could-you
kno" you would, CAuDLE, SO don't deny
il.
"No~, i you begin TO shout in that
manner, IN leave the bed. lis very
hard that ! can't say single word to
YOU, but you must almost raise the place.
KoH di9at skoni2 / don't know what
sou call Shouting, tneni I'm sure tho
people must hear you in tie next house.
Mott went do TO call me soft names.
now, Caudie I'm not tho fool that was
when was first married. know better
now. You're TO treat me 10 lhe manner
you have, all day; and then atnieht
tho only time and place when can ct
word ~, you want 10 90 sleep. How can
you be 50 mean, Caudlo!
WHAT Why can't pat he ,casliag