Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1845-12-18

"How DO you Ike Shakespeare g said
blue stocking young lady to an old river
captain. i.Don't like her at all. madam.
she burns TOO much wood and carries TOO
little height.
About the year 1854. the Legislature
e%of Pennsylvania. passed a resolution that
+ mo member thereof should come 10 the
House barefoo, OF eat his bread and Cheese
on the Steps. z
An IIishnan. closing his eyes while
s,anting before mirror. was asked Why
be did SO. "Ana faith, /" replied the saga.
! eious son Of Erin. u, ]: not 10 see bow !
look when ! am asIeepi"
A tailor. 4wbila travelling on the Lakes
was asked by Yaakee. where he lived,
wha. bis business was. &c.. 10 which be
replied that he lived 10 Toledo "andthat
hisprolession was sitting on The smooth
side ~ poverty, sad jerking OF. the cords
Of al clion.
4 IN .dnstesr IA gentleman, WHO had
4 By faA broken one o! his ribs. was man,
tioning the circaps,ance and describing
the pain be felt. A surgeon who was pre-
sent, asked him il the fnjary be sustained
was near the rsrtsbrR mo, sir. IRE
j piled he, e, was within Jep yargs Of
DE C6uyf House I"
n Point of 0rder "A debating spcie.
tyin1a town down East. one evening
underiook.io discuss the question 'wheth-
er intempsrance or slavery is productive
OF the most slavery 10 the United States
A worthy deacon, eonlerding against the |
former, proposed to show lis effects on its
yiclims in eternity. Stop, STOP, cried
this chsirman, that's out Of the Uhited
States.
y A yankee, on being asked why be did
not marry said-'ihe lime was pitched
upon and altwas ready, when she Up gad
died .@st
A French gentleman was one day ca
res.ing dog; When an English friend re
marked thai he seemed very fond ofit.-
.Ya.a as, answered Monsieur, i am for
dis dog, he brings to my recollection my
owa yer priity little dog a, home You
love dogs. thens' Ga, va as. Iloye de
dogs. de Gals, de esses and de asses. and
in short. lido love every ling dat is beast
"" "
Tie Rsiort Spgical - AT late exami-
nation OF the college Of surgeons candi-
date was asked BY AbsrneihF, what he
wonld do il a man were blown ups BY
gun powder RI - / +
Why. cooty answered ths tJro. wait
Till be came down again.'
Then saitIAbernethy, and suppose |
kicked you for such an impartinentreply,
what muscles should put in motion 2
:. Why, replied the young man, The
Asxors and extensors Of my arm for |
should floor you directly. .
Piiiag up jokes Speaking Of wags. l.
what's more tpaggish than dogs tail
whenhs is plsasedi Speaking Of tails
we algayslike those that end, we'll: lHogs.s II
for instance. Speaking Of 'hogs-ve saw
one Of these animals The o;her day lying Il
ia the gutter. and 10 the opposite one
veil dressed man the irst had ring 10 x
his nose, the Halter bad one on his finger
The man was drunk, the hog was sober. !
tAhog is kaow b. The company be keeps, !
thought we; and so thought Mr., Purket. p
and Of be weu. Speaking Of going eff. s
puts rs 10 mind ola gun we oncs owned.
4 tvssf4 of oas nisas saa We h.rn't seen
ii since.
Pdtrick Ooh When my grandfather
resided At Gadstowp- and Derry Geld, tea
settled By the Irish. he hired a. wild sori
of an lrishman to work on bis fatr. Oae
day. soon after bis arrival, be told him 10
take birdie and 90 eul In the Geld aud y
catch tie black colt. Don leone home
without him. said the old gentleman. :
Patrick stated aud was gone some iipp.
bat at las, rstnrned minus the bride. wi,h |
his face and haods badly scratched. q
though be bad received rough ,rea,me i.