Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1845-03-10
From the St. Louis Reveille.
A I. Fl u n G." J r. r Y

was Squire W. His austere compre-
hension of, and rigid adherency to legal
propreties, are yet recollecled. a case
was submitted To him, once on n time"
but, his decision not satisfying one OF the
parties, Every likely TO occur, by-,hn-by,
even in primitive ages the case was con-
tinued which further step, according 10
the rule in Justices courts, now as then,
involves the ceremony and expense of
Jury.
The Sc :ond trial came on, unfortunately,
upon morning which, for some good
cause or other, the whole town had devoted
to jubilee and rejoicng-whetter it was
that great man ~as TO be received"
or another great man dismissed, it is mma-
tetai suffice it thai drums and guns did
their duly in calling the citizens away from
theirs.
Plaintiff and defendant were punctua! IN
their attendance before the Justice, anxious
to setils their ditferencc-just as anxious
to have to have ihcie sha re Of the show
aad the officer was despatched to collect a
u jury but, after no less anxious search,
he was obliged to return without man,
his summons going for nothing in the gen.
eral excitement.
Impatient at the delay, the parties lti-
CANT agreed TO waive the matter Of jury
aliogelher-to just re argue the matter, aud
abide by "His fIonor's" decision. But
Ais Honor had his own more reverend
parade Of the lady to enjoy, and the reiore,
iRasmuch as that the case had been CONT
nued, and that the purpose Of said contnr-
nnce YVES entirely 10 obtain the sense Of q
jury. it would be all nonsense 10 proceed
in any less regular way. "Therefore,
Mr.. Constable" continued the Squire,
"you will, by virtue Of your authority,
summon and compel The prese nee Of q jury,
forthwith"
The Constable again set forth, the
"Bonch" relapsed into abstruse cogi,ation,
and the plaintiff and defendant were lain TO
conten: themselves with the hope of getting
clear eater n WHILE"
YEARLY went the moments, but at length
the interchangeable officer, bathed in perspir-
ntion, having secured one well known,
easy going citizen, remarkable as being the
largest, loyingest, and LATEST man about
town.
esquire" said The painting officer, "l've
gotten Bob, cause he says i: don't make
mako much dfie renee TO him, but there
isn't nary another rs don't say they'll see
me ID first, and so the things oct, as
far as my footin' on It goes, reckon ~
The Constable wiped his brow with deter.
mina,on, the Just ce tegan to foresee u
dilemma, and nothing bu, the "costs" pre-,
vented "the parties" ia spite Of their At
rorneys, from Tipping up "head or tai''
for IN issue.
AT length the constable made sugges.
ton, which The "parties' eagerly consent
ing TO, the Squire finally sanctioned. This
was, tha, Bob, the lazy gentleman jus,
mentioned, should serve as jury "al alone
by himself!"
All was settled al once the lazy gentle
man declared that it % made no difference
and, getting ga chew" from the constable
down he sat. The pleadngs were des.
patched, the jury was charged, the process.
sion was heard approaching in the dista nee,
and all parties were only waiting TO hea
tho verdict, when the jury, after one or
two ndolent bitches in his chair, and a
lcisurey discharge of tobacco juice from
between his teeth turned 10 the court and
said
"Well, I reckon, Squire, the Jury II
have to retire."
This was unexpected, and had not been
altogether the more, either, in Justice w.
court, nasmuch as there was no place Tor
the Jury to retire to, except yittm them,
sclres =; but the present body was mani
,nously Of opinion that he ought TO have a
fair shake at the merits of the case, and so
the court adjourned to the sidewalk, leaving
the jury all TO himself, with his heels OH
ihe table.
Moment after moment passed away
the liligants, every now and then cast q
glance in at the conscientious umpire the
procession was evidently approaching along
the next street, and, suddenly, the "oppo
site COUNSEL" excusing themselves, walkee
off towards the corner. Drums, hurrahs
&c, now began TO swell upon the air, ant
plaintiff and defendant, after sundry inqui
ries after the chances, even march off
also, leaving The squire and constable Il
receive the verdict. The constable mex
bscame impatient, and, finally The Squire
himself got the fdgets /; each momen
seemed an age, until the dubious trelf'
was JUS, asked if he was "going to take the
whole day or mott"
Veil, the fact is, Squire, the jury CAM
agree, no how We're just hung, and nc
mistake and if you can't let US stay out
why you'd jus, better discharge Ms, by
thunder"
The jury vas discharged
The London Patriot of Jan. ID states,
on the authority of German papers, tha
an accommodated Romish priest has ad
dressed pamphlet ;o'the lower orders o.
the Roman clergy, calling upon them &c
unite their exertions in the pulpit and ii
the confessional chair, against the Ultra
rnontanists and the Bishops Of Rome, IN
order TO found, by council and synod,
national German Catholic Church, indie
pendent Of The Roman. He wants 10 abo'
iish auricular confession, the celebration
of the mass in Laiia, and the making OF
proselytes by money. This movement is
one of much excitement in some parts OF
Germany.