The Woodstock age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1844-1845, 1845-03-27

Then the pfeslueht ha'HiS aeHu'reo
confidence in lis Office loosely remarks,
"thai unless the girls stop Whispering, he
shall send them all home, and being a mar
ried man lie shall say ,Chat he plcases, f."
the lnehable drollery of which remark,
cause the girls 10 'i'ter, the young men
to laugh, and throws the small boys into
very strong commissions. The first speak.
er is then introduced.
This gentleman altogether co-incidcs
with the president as to the greatness
of the cause, sacrificing our own com,
forts and the virtues of self denial, and
arrives at the conclusion that man who
makes hmsclfas uncomfortable as he can
to himself and as disagreeablc as posi-
bic to his neiyhbors, is in the line OF his
duty and in fair way to reach Heaven
at last; and that the probability Of this
event is greater in proportion as he has
power to extend his own heavenly frame Of
mind among those who are so fortunate
as to have the benefit of his society. He
then, with exemplary charity, consigns
those who think differently to the Arch
Enemy, and denounces those who don't
90 the whole figure as "rummics" and
reprobates. He has his doubts whether
drinking glass of wine is not The unpar-
donable sin, spoken of by the Apostle,
and by proper logic comes to the concln-
sion that with all the ght" which is now
thrown over he subject, a man who will
drink wine, will drink brandy, and man
who will drink brandy will lie, and man
who will lie will steal, and man who
will steal, will murder, consequently all
wine drinkers are murderers. lie then
has his doubts whether the EPISCOPAL
CHURCH is really church at all, or only
the MYSTERIOUS lady, with prediction to
scarlet residing somwhcre in Babylon. 1t
is matter Of deep regret that that church
has an old fashion Of minding its own
business and is so much behind the times,
that its members are satisfied with the
Great founder Tor an eyemplar,ln matters
ola purely personal character. He hopes
he is charitable, but duty compcls him to
speak plainly, He is opposed TO DANG
ING, because it "leadS to" drinking, an
no consistent temperance man will dance,
for this reason. David danced, it is true
but then David was an old fashioned fell
low, lived in a rndc age and probably did.I
not kaow any better; any body that dan
ces nowadays is neither temperance
man, nor a christian; and there ought to
he laws TO restrain those who had the
hardihood to think differently. DANIEL
WEBSTER had been retained to plead the
cause of the 'rummies;" it was proper
enough to plead for murderers and horse
thrives, bat lawyer had no business to
defend ssrummies-IIe would not employ |
a. LAWYER who did it-but then Daniel
was paid for it, took a drop himself and
was Mt "any great shakes" after all
There was but one fault with the great
cause and that was it did not 90 far G.
,aough. CHEWING TOBACCO was
an enormous evil in itself, besides it ,
-"lcd" to drinking; and yet, here in the
10th century, men and boys might be
found with their jaws distcnded with to-
bacco, whisting unconccrnedly, with
4hciY hands in their brooches, on the
broad road to the dcvi--and no LAW to
prevent it! PIous OLD LADIES, who took
SNUFF, would do we'll to examine the
grounds Of their hopes. He would alarm
no body unnecessarily, but the use Of to-
bacco was sin, and they who chewed
the weed were wolves in Sleeps clothing
and would drink whenever they got
chance. No consistent temperance man
would chew tobacco. TEA and COFFEE
were Just like tobacco only little more
SO, and man making use of any of these
articles was in "league with the Prince
of darkness" besides being put to con-
siderable expense; and was toleSably Ger
tain of reaching the poor house.
Having thus delivered himself and hav-
ing exhausted his stock in trade as we'll
as his audience the Speaker sits down.
The speech is followed by some music
but more noise. A reverend gentleman
who is "atogether a right sort of man."
then asks blessing half an hour long, to
the great edifca,ion of the small boys,
who are furiyely engaged in pocke,ing
such "goodies' as may be within their
reach.
Permission is then given by the chair