The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1845-05-16
From the London Punch.
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
Mr.. Caudle has been TO Grsenpieh Fair.


Mr.. Caudie has been 10 Green,oich Fair.
Hem!-So, Mr.. Caudle: l hope you enjoyed your
self at Greenwich. How do know you've been
at Greenwich know it very well, SIR: know all
about II know more than you think ] know. l
thought there was something in the wind. Yes;
was sure of it when you went out Of the house to-
day. knew it by the looks of you, though didn't
say anything. Upon my word And you call your
self respectable man, and the father of family !
Going to fair amongst all sorts of people,-at your
time Of life. Yes and never think Of taking your
wife with you. Oh, no! you can go and enjoy your
self out, with, don't know who's 60 out, and make
yourself very pleasant, dare say. Don't tell me ;
hear what nice companion Mr. Caudle is: what
good-tempered person. Ha! only wish people
could see you at home, that's all But SO it is with
men, They can keep all their good temper for out
of-doors-ther wives never any of it. Oh,
dear! Pm sure don't know who'd be poor wo-
man!
SNOW, Caudle, Pm not in an i'll temper not at
all. know | used to be fool when we were first
married. used to worry and fret myself to DEATH
when you went out but I've got over that
wouldn't put myself out of the way now for the best
man that ever trod. For what thanks does poor
woman ge4 None at all. No: it's those who don't
for their families, who the best thought Of
only wish could bring myself not to care for
mine.
Sand why couldn't you say, like a man, you
were going TO Greenwich Fair, when you went ou
It's no use your saying that, Mr.. Caud,e don't tell
me that you didn't think of going you'd made
your mind up to it, and you know il. Pretty games
you've had, no doubt! ! should like to have been
behind you, that's all. A man at your time of life !
Sand ], Of course, never want to 60 out Oh,
no! may stay at home with the cat. You couldn't
think of taking your wife and children, like any
other decent man, to fair. Oh, no, you never
to be seen with lis. I'm sure, many people don't
know you're married how can they' Your wife's
stk h41x L,txl
belonging to you!
"Grccnwich Fair, indeed Yes,--and Of course
you went up and down the hill, running and racing
with nobody knows who. Don't tell me l know
what you are when you're out You don't suppose,
Mr.. Caudle I've forgotten that pink bonnet, do youi
No: Won't hold my tongue, and I'm not a foolish
woman. It's no matter, air. il the pink bonnet was
fifty years agoit's all the same for that. No: and
if live for fifty years to come, never will leave off
talking of it, You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
Mr.. Caudle Ha! few wives would have been what
I've been to you. only wish my time was TO come
over again, that's all wouldn't be the fool have
been.
"Going to a fair and | suppose you had your
fortune told by the gypses' You needn't have
wasted your money. I'm sure can tell you your
fortune If you go on you do. Yes, the Jail will
be your fortune, MIR. Caudle. And it would be no
mater-none at all-if your wife and children didn't
suffer with you.
Sand then you must go riding upon donkeys-
you didn't go riding upon donkeys' Yes; it's very
we'll for you to say so but | dare say you did. I
tell you, Caudle, know what you are when you're
out. wouldn't trust any Of you--you, especially,
Caudle.
"Then you must 60 in the thick of the fair, and
have the girls scratching your coat with raitles !!
You couldn't help it, if they did scratch your coat'
Don't tell me- people don't scratch coats unless they
re encouraged to do il. And you must go in
swing, too. You didn't 60 in swingl And I'm a
foolish woman to think so, am /! Well, if you
didn't, it was fault of yours; you wished to go,
I've no doubt.
aAnd then you mus, go INTO the shows' There,
You don't deny that You did 60 into a show.
What Of it, Mr.. Caudle' good deal Of it, sir.
Nice crowding and squeezing in those shows,
know. Pretty places! And you married man and
the father of family. No: won't hold my tongue.
It's very well for you to threaten to get up You're
to go to Greenwich Fair, and race up and down the
h and play at kiss in the ring Pah! it's disgust
ing, Mr.. Caudle. Oh, dare say you did play at il;
if YOU didn't you'd have liked, and that's Just as
bad;-and you can 60 into swings, and shows, and
roundabouts. If was you, should hide my head
under the clothes and be ashamed of myself.
Sand what is most selfsh--most mean of you,
Caudle-you can go and enjoy yourself, and never
so much bring home for the poor children gin
gerbread nut. Don't tell me that your pocket was
picked of pound of nuts Nice company you
must have been in to have your pocket picked.
g But dare say shall hear all about it to-mor-
row. I've no doubt, sir, you dancing at the
Crown-and- Anchor. should like to have seen you.
No: I'm not making myself ridiculous. It's you
that's making yourself ridiculous; and everybody
that knows you says So Everybody knows what
I have to put up with from you.
"Going to fair, indeed! At your tIme---'
"Here," says Caudle, g dozed of, hearing con-
fusedly the rds-hill-gypsies--r attes--round-
about-swings-pink bonnet-nuts."