American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1845-10-11
S l. A n u T. z
"NOw let it work. Mischie fthoI art afoet
WIake whit cOurse thnn WIND

''Now let it work. Mischief thol art afoet
"Takc what course thou wilt"
The substance of the following is no fiction.
In neghborng village, whose Inhabitants
like the good people Of Athens, were much Civ
en- TO either tell or hear some new thing, lived
Squire F., iacetious, good natured sort of a
body, whose jokes are even yet a matter Of viii
lage record, and are re-told through various
editions, from folio down to duodocimo.
Aunt Lizzy was Deacon Snpes wite's sister
"a maiden lady of about ffty-she went to all
the meetings-kept regular account Of every
birth, death and marriage, with their dates
doctoied all the babies, and knew every yard in
the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES all the young mar
ried women how to make soap, and when they
had bad luck, made every child in the house set
cross-leggcd until the luck changed. In fine,
she was 4 kind of village iactotum-spent her
time in going from house to house, grinding
out gust OF SANDER to each, as occasion re-
qu1rcd, but always conclud / with "the way OF
the uansgrcssor is hard poor Mrs. A. or B., Gas
the case was, pity her from the bottom of my
heart, or somo such very soothing reflection.
Aunt Ljzzy W always very fond of asking
strangers and rhers, without regard to time OF
place the state Of their mind, how they enjoy
ca their minds" sc. These questions We're
generally followed by a string of scandal, which
was calculated to destroy the peace and happi-
ness of some of her b. It neighbors and friends;
but she, like other narrators of this kind, consi-
Gcred 5 !ch intellectual murder as either estab-
fishing her own fair reputation, or as the only
lHode OF entertaining the village: and thereby
rnade'1g hcr society agreeable.
One warm summers afternoon, rs the Squire
was sitting near his Office door, smoking his
pipe, Aunt Lizzy was passing by with great
pced, Illuminating on the news of the day, when
he Squire brought her suddenly to, as the sal
Tors say by "what's your hurry, Aunt LizzJ
walk m" The old lady, who never wanted
second invitation, went into the office, and
the following dialogue soon commenced:
We'll, Squire p, have been thinking thi,
afternoon what a useful man you might be, i
you'd only leave off your light conversations
as the good book says, and become Il seriou.
man-you might be an ornament to both churcl
and state, as our minister says.
why as to that, Aunt Lizzy, cheerful coun
tenance consider as the best index of ii CRATE.
full heart, and you know what the Bible says
on that subiect-'When ye fast be not as the
hup0CriieS Of a sad countenance; but anoint thy
head and acaSh thy face, Aunt Lzzy began to
feel for her pocket handkerchief, for she was d
taker of snuff that thou appear NOT unto men
to fast
Now, there Squire, that's Just what told
YOU, see how you have the Scrpter at your
tongues end; what an useful man you might
be in our church, if you'd only be doer, d;
we'll as a hearer of the word
AS to that, Aunt Lizzy, don't see that YOU
professors as you call them arc whit bettel
than | am, in priUate | respect sincere pro
fession as much as any man, but know enough
of one of your church whom you think grea
deal of, to know that she is no better than St
L.H A. | ~
little black eyes began to twinkle she sat down
beside the Squire, in order to speak in a lowe
tone, spread her handkerchief over her lap ant
began to tap the cover of her snuff-box in tru
style, and all things being in readiness for re
gular siege of scandalum magnatum, she com
menced fife.
Now, Squire, want to know what yo,
mean by one of our church? know who yo,
mean the trollop, didn't like so many curl
about her head, when she told her experience.
The Squire finding curiosity was putting hi
boots on, had no occasion to add spurs to thu
heels, for the old lady had one in her head tina
was worth both of them Accordingly he hat
no peace until he consented to explain what hi
meant by the expression lin priratej' this was
dear word with Aunt Lzzy.
Now Aunt Lizzy, will you take bible oati
that YOU will never communicate what | an
ABOUT 10 tell you 10 llVli9 pclhS, anu viz. ~
will keep it while you live as most inVolabl'
secrets?
Yes, Squire, declare won't never tell no
body nothing about it as long as breathe th
breath of life and I'll take bible oath on it
there sartin as | live, Squire before you or an,
other magistrate in the whole country
well, then, you know when | went up t
Boston year ago.
yes, yes, Squire, and know who went will
YOU too; Susan B. and Dolly T., and her sister
Prudence
Never mind who went with me, Aunt Lzzy
there was a whole lot of passengers But
but
None of your butts, Squire, out with it,
folks will act so-a trollop,-'
But Aunt Lizzy, I'm afraid you'll bring m
into the scrape.'
I've told you over and over again, that no
body ever shall know nothing about II, ant
your wife knows | amt leaky.'
My wife, | wouldn't have her know wha
I'm going to tell you for the world-why Aun
Lizzv, if she should know it,
well, then-if you must know i'll slep
with one of the lkelest of your church mem
bcrs nearly half the way upn
Aunt Lizzy drew in long breath, shut u
her snuA-box, and put it in her pocket, mutter
ing to herself
tThe lkeliest of our church members
thought it was Susan B., kelest! this come
of being hattered-a trollop. Well, one thin
know-'the way of the transgressor is hard
but hope you'll never tell nobody ont, Squire
for c,rt;n nc the world if such n thing shonl