American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1845-04-25
From the London Punch.
MRS. CAuDLE's CURTAIN LECTURE

MRS, CAUDLE's CURTAIN LECTURES.
Mr. CSudIe has rentured a remonstrance on his
days dinner, cold mutton, and no pudding
Mrs. Caude defends the cold shoulder.
"Humph! I'm sure! Well! | wonder what
it will be next There's nothing proper, now
nothing at all. Better get somebody else to
keep the house | think. ! can't do it now, it
seems; Pm only in the way here; I'd better take
the children and go.
"What am grumbling about now? It's very
well for you to ask that Pm sure I'd better
be out of the werd--thcre now, Mr. Caudle
there you are again! | shall speak, sir. 1t isn't
often | open my mouth heaven knows! But
you like to hear nobody talk but yourself You
ought to have married negro slave, and not
any respectable woman.
"You're to go about the house looking like
thunder all the day, and Pm not to say word.
Where do you think puddings to come from
every day? You show a nice example TO your
children, yon do; complaining, and turning
your nose up at a sweet piece of cold mutton,
because there's no pudding! You go nice way
to make 'em avagant-teach 'em nice les
sons to begin the world with. Do you know
what buildings cost; or do you think they fly in
at the window?
"You hate cold mutton. The more shame
'for you Mr.. Caudle. Pm sure you've the sto-
mach of lord you have. No, sir; | didn't
choose to hash the mutton. It's very easy for
you to say hash it; but | know what Joint
loses in hashing: it's days dinner the less, if
it's bit. Yes, dare say; other people may
have buildings with cold mutton. No doubt Of
it; and other people become bankrapts. But if
you ever get into the Gazette, it shan't be my
ault-no; I'll do my duty as wife to you, Mr.
Caudle you shall never have it to say that it
tl,,A ,,frl,t hnp-
gary No; you may sulk at the cold meat
ha! | hope you'll never want such piece OF
cold mutton as we had to-day! And you may
threaten to go to tavern to dine; but with
our present means, not crumb of pudding do
YOU get from me. You shall have nothing but
the cold jont-nothing, as Pm Christian
gnner.
Eyes; there you are, throwing those fowls in
nv face again! know you once brought home
pair of fowl Is; | know it: and wern't you mean
enough to want to stop 'em out OF my week 5
money1 Oh, the selfshness-the shabbiness OF
men! They can 60 out and throw away pounds
upon pounds with pack of people who laugh
at 'em afterwards but if it's any thing wanted
for their own homes, their poor wives may
hunt for it. | wonder you don't blush to name
those fowls again! | wouldn't be so little tor
the world, Mr.. Caudle!
"What are you going to do' Going to get
up? Don't make yourself ridiculous, Mr.. eau
die; can't say a word to you like any other
wife, but you must threaten to get up. DO be
ashamed of yourself.
"Puddings, indeed! Doyou think I'm made
of buildings, Didn't you have some boiled rice
three weeks ago' Besides, is this the time Of
the year for puddings' It's all very well if
had money enough allowed me like any other
wife to keep the house WITH then, indeed, |
might have preserves, like any other woman;
now, it's impossible; and it's cruel-yes, MIR.
Caudle, cruel-of you to expect it.
"Apples arn't so dear, arn't they? l know
what apples are, MIR. Caudle, without your tell
ing me. But suppose you want something
more than apples for dumplngs? ! suppose su-
gar costs something, doesen't it? And that's
how it is. That's how one expense brings on
another, and that's how people 60 to ruin.
Pancakes! What's the use of your lying
lmutterng there about pancakes Don't you
always have 'em once year-every Shrove
Tuesday? And what would any moderate de-
cent man want more?
pancakes, indeed! Pray, Mr.. Caudle-no,
ats no use your saying fine words to me to let
you go to sleep; | shant! pray do you know
the price of eggs just now' there's not an
egg that you can trust to under seven and eight
shilling; we'll, you've only just to reckon
up now many eRSS-uoH he s"oaiinY 'iioio
at the eggs, in that manner, Mr.. Caudle; I'M
less you expect the bed to open under you-
You call yourself respectable tradesman,
suppose! Ha! only wish people knew you as
we'll &C do! Swearing at eggs, indeed! But
I'm tired of this usage, Mr. Caudle; quite tired
of 1t; and don't care how soon it's ended!
"I'm sure / do nothing but work and labor,
and think how to make the best of everything;
and this is how Pm rewarded. should like to
see anybody whose joints 60 further than
mine But if was to throw away your mo-
ney into the street, or lay it out in fine feathers
en- myself, should be better thought of. The
woman who studies her husband and her fami-
ly is always made drudge of. It's your fine
fai-lal wives who've the best time OF it.
"What's the use of your lying groaning
there in that manner? That won't make me
hold my tongue can tell you. You think to
have it all your own way-but you won't, MIR.
Caudle! You can insult my dinner; look like
demon, may say, at a wholesome piece OF
cold mutton-ha the thousands Of far better
creatures than you are who'd been thankful
for that mutton! and Pm never to speak! But
you're mistaken-I will Your usage of me,
Mr. Caudle, is Enthusiastically of a man.
only wish people knew you for what you are;
but they shall, some day
"Puddings! And now suppose shall hear
of nothing but buildings! Yes, and know
what it would end in. First, you'd have a
pudding every day; oh, know your extrava-
gance-then you'd go for fish-then shouldn't
wopJat ;f unuiI have conn tnrtla mn donbt.