Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-10-11

ter's, out slides that eternal torment,
Bill Skies, in bis new trotting sulky,
with the brown horse he bought for
fast crab, and is mighty good for a
rush, but haint got nigh so much bot
tom as the mare. Bill's light weight
and his sulky's mere feather. Well
sir, Bill came up along side and walk
ed his horse abit. He looked at the
mare, and then at me, and then wink
ed. | looked straight ahead, and only
said, TO myself, "Cass you, Bill Skies"
By AID by, he let his horse slide. lie
travelled about hundred yards, and
then held up till | came abreast, and
then he winked and bantered me again.
1t was id aggravating. Says | to
myself, says I--'that's twice you've
done it, my bu2zum friend and sweet
scented strub-but you doesn't do that
ere again." The third he baniercd
me, l let him have it. 1t was only say
ing ''Scat you b" and she was of
that mare. He had all the odds
you know, for was toting two hun
drcd FOUNDER, and he ought to have
beat me like breaking sticks, now hadn't
he. He had me at the first brush, for
told you the brown horse was a nigh
ty fast one for little ways. But soon
| Tapped him. had no whip, and he
could use his string-but he had his
hands full Side by side, away we
went. Rattle to bang! crack! abuz!
thump! And | afraid of losing the
race. The reputation of the old mare
was at stake, and was determined she
should have fair chance. We went
so fast that the posts and rails by the
road side looked like log fence. The
old church and the new one, and the
colleges spun past like Merry Andrews.
The hackmen did not know what the
was to pay, and afraid Of not be-
ing in at the death, they put the string
on to their teams, and came Gathering
on behind as if Satan had kicked 'em
on eend. Some of the mourners was
sporting characters, and they craned
out of the carriage windows and waved
their handkerchieis. The President
Of Harvard College himself, inspired
by the scene, took oil his square tile as
passed his house, and waving it three
times round his head, $50 it bools!"
1t is fact. And beat him, sir. ]
beat him, in three miles, hundred
rods. He gin it up, sir, in despair.
"Hs horse was off his feed for a
week, and when he took to corn again,
he wasn't Sith a d--n. 1t was ac-
llnowlcdged on all hands to be the fast
est funeral on record, though | say it
as shouldn't. I'm an undertaken, sir,
and / never yet was overtakcn."
On subsequent inquiry at Portcr's
where the sporting sexton left me, !
found that his story was strictly true
in all the main particulars. a terrible
rumpus was kicked up about the race,
but Crossbones sworc Justify that The
mare had run awsy-that he had saw
ed away two inches Of her lip in try
ing TO hold her up, and he could not
have done otherwise, unless he had run
her into a fence, and spilled his ecu s.
toner" into the ditch. If any one
expects to die anywhere near the sex
toms diggingS, can assure them that
the jolly old boy is still alive aud kick
ing, the very ace Of Hearts" and
Jack of Spades" and that now both
patent boxes and elliptic springs render
his professional conveyance the easiest
running thing on the road.
THE OLD 'UU.
Boston, Mass, Aug. II, ls45.