Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1845-01-31
WILMINGTON. n. c.. FRIDAY. JANUARY 81, 1915

On my return to the drawing room.
CHANGED to be again seated by the lady by
whom had sat at the table. Our CONVEX
satlon was resumed, and we were in the
midst oil an animated discussion, when a
huge spider was seen runnin up her arm.
flake it of-take 1t off, she eiacula-
ted In a terrific voice.
l was always afraid of spiders; so, to a.
void touching him with my hand, | caught
my pocket handkerchief from my pocket,
and clapped it at once upon the miscreant.
who was already mounting over her tenn
pie with rapid Standardization heavens!
| had forgotten the caaliaower, which was
now pIastered over her face like an emol-
lient poultice, fairly killing the spider, and
binding an eye of the lady-whle little
streamlets of soft butter gently glided down
her meek and bosom.
"Mon dieu! Mon dieu!'' exclaimed the
astonished fair.
"Mon dieu!" was re-echoed from every
PERSONS mouth.
"Have you cut your hand!" inquired
one.
"No! no! the spider-monsieur is XII
ling the SPIDER"
"What quantity of entrails!' eiacula-
ted an astonished Frenchman, unconsci-
ously to himself.
Well might he be astonished; the spray
of the execrable vegetable had spattered
her dress from head to foot. For myself,
the moment the accident occurred, | had
mechanically returned my handkerchief to
my pocket, butts contents remained.
"What monster must it have been,"
observed young lady, as she helped TO
relieve my victim from her cruel situation,
Il declare l should think it had been liv-
ing on caulifower.' @
At that moment | felt some one touch
me; and on turning, saw my companion
who had come with me.
"Look at your pahtaloons," he wills
pered.
Already half dead with the confusion
and disaster | had caused, cast my eyes
upon my once white dress, and saw a, a
glance the honorable extent of my ditem.
ma. | had been sitting on the fatal pocA'
ct, and had crushed out the liquid butter
and the soft, paste like vegetable which
had bedaubed and dripped down them, til
it seemed as if it were actually dissolvins
my pantaIoons.
Darling from the spot. | sprang from
the place where l had left my hat; but be-
fore | could reach it sudden storm O
wrath was heard at the door.
''Sacre! bette! sacre'' there in the frs
SYLLABLE being made to roll like watch
mans rattle, mingled with another epithe
and name that an angry Frenchman nev
er spares, was head ringing like fierce
tempest without the doors. Suddenly
there was pause; gargling sound, as o
one swallowing involuntarily-and thu
storm of wrath again broke out with re
doubled fury. | seibed my hat and open
ed the door, and the whole matter was a
once explained; we had exchanged hats
and there he stood, the soft caulifowe
gushing down his cheeks, binding hi
eyes, filling his mouth, hair, mustaches
ears and whiskers. Never shall I forge
that spectacle. There he stood astride
like the Colossus, and STOPPING gently fol
ward, his eyes forclbly closed, his arm
dropping out from his body and drippin
caulifower AID butter from every pore.
staid no longer, but retaining his hat,
, rushed from the house, jumped into
, ''6acre," and arrived safely home heart
Iy resolving that, to my latest hour,
would never again deliver letter of intr'
duction.