The New era. [volume] ([Portsmouth, Va.]) 1845-1847, 1845-11-15
From Noah's Weekly Messenger.
THE WRONG
A f IN COURT.

Az WIN
a few months since n most ludicrous scene =
Cured in our Court of Sessions, wherein the lack
OF worldly knowledge was displayed in vivid
c'l"rs. As the hero of the story is a pretty clever
fellow, although not being over sucked with
sense, unused Ia the ways of the world. and un-
acquainted with the forms of the law. this scene
has been bottled up ever since its occurrence (: Int.
like wine. 1t has improved by age, and grown too
good 10 be confined any longer SO out it mus,
cume.
The hero came from the good old city of Bos
ton, and possessing all the manners of a down east
Yankee, without his usual shrewdness. He was
done up in a grey suriout. with black buttons and
hlnding. He had been for several
terms TO attend befure the Grand jury as an i'm
rnrtant witness IN a libel suit. in which Louis
Fitzgerald Tasistrn was the defendant. The case
never having been taken up, he fingered about
The Iombs day after day, and week after week :;
his under jaw ~drnPping lower down every day,
and his large eyes prntIuding mure and more with
hope deferred. AT last, growing indignant, he
determined tn made enc bold push for redress, and
expressed his determination by saying, Now Pm
g"In' tn Tx them ere CHAPS fuss rate. III lust 90
into Gln'ral Sessions and tell him all about IT,
And into The Court of General Sessions he went.
The Court room was full. A man was ON trial
for a grave charge-that of manslauohter in The
first degree-and great anxiety was felt in his
case. Our friend, whom we shall call Smith.
went in, %doggedly shaking his head, and was
commanded by The officer To sit down.
Shan't do no snct. ihing,'' said Smith,
g Want To see the Gin'ral.
"He is not here" said the officer.
"Whal's the use in trllin' me SIGH a lie as
that? DON'T see him an his two aids a setting
alongside on him 81
THAT'S not the General" said The officer
That is Recorder Tallmadge.''
g" dnnt care whether he's Recorder or not
what's that To meg | know he's Gin'ral SEES.
sions. and Pm a g"in' to tell him all about it,
just at this moment the cUnnsel for the defence
rlused their examination of the witness then upon
The stand, and the District Attorney called Mr..
Smith.
L" Here replied Smith, determinedly as he
promptly walked up TO the witness stand
" Now, what is II you want on me ? 'cuz Pm most
tired o. warin.'"
District Attorney.-We want you TO be sworn -,
Mr.. Smith; so take the stand.
1t is us'0mary IN Massachusetts to swear by
The upllfted hand. and accordingly. when the
clerk held out the Bible, Smith turned away his
head
Clerk.-Put your hand on the book, Mr.. Smith,
and he sworn"
Smith, oggedly)-T shan't do no such
thing | tell yer they hol' 'em up down our way.
The clerk turned to the cOurt, and said mildly,
that the witness refused tn be sworn.
Conr.-ls your name Smith, sir2
Sin conrse it is. Brother to George Smith
publisher Of the Boston-and-
C.-Why don't yoH take the oath then, Mr..
Smith,
81 amt got no objection to takin' no oath {;
but they hol' 'em down our way. (Thrusting
his right hand high in the air, amidst a roar of
langhler)
Con, sir, You wish to be sworn by the I'D
lifted hand 2 Go On Mr.. Clerk.
The oath having been administered. Smith sat
himself down in the chair to await the questions
of the District Attorney.
District Attorney.-Mr. Smith, what is your
business
81 don't choose to answer that ere ques-
tiop7
Counsel for accused.-Ahl wait till we set
thar down.
D.. A-Why do You decline answering that
question 2 ~
S.-What's The use on answerin' of it-vop
know Just as well as I do. -
D.. Ayes, but the court and jury wish to
know. "
S.-(Doggediy)-Then why don't YOU tell
EN-.
C.-Mr. Smith, You must answer the o,osioo.
that are put To you, or we shall be OBLIGED IN c,n
nit you for contempt Of court,
Swell, what's the use % ans,ve,;o, -,
him, Gio'ral, when he knows Just az well 40
do?
d. A.-WW you answer the question 2 What
is your business ?
S.-(Leaning forward, and lookinr hard at the
District Attorney )-What's my business here Z
Why, yer called me as a witness. didn't We, 2
WHATS the use o foOlln' on me in this wav 4
( Roars Of laughter,)