davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11
PARODY
on THE DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE.

on THE DECLARATION OF IDEPENDENCE.
The Salisbury, IN. CO. Waterman,
tells the story OF tavern keeper, who,
having grown rich, grew very careless;
and so offended the lawyers by whom
bis house bad for many years been fill
cd, that during one crowded session Of
the court, they with one accord lorsook
HIM, leaving behind them the following
parody on the Declaration Of lndepcn.
dcncc:
When, in the course ofhuman events.
it becomes necessary for a halEhungry,
hall-fcd imposcd-on set Of men. 70 dis.
solve the band, Of landlord and board
or, decent respect for the opinions Of
mankind requires that they should de-
clare the causes which have impollcd
them TO the separation.
We hold these truths TO be scl-cvi-
dent; that all men arc created with
stomachs; and they are endowed by
their Creator with certain inalicnablc
rights; among which arc, that no man
should be compelled TO starvc. o. out
Of mere compliment 10 landlord. 90
hungry, and that every man has right
to ell his stomach and wet his whistle
with the best that's going.
The history Of the White Lion is
"A history of repeated insults, exactions
and injuries, all having in direct object
the establishment Of tyrany over our
stomachs and throats. To prove this.
let facts be submitted to a candid world.
lie has refused to keep any thing TO
dnsk but bald faced whiskcy.
IIc has refused 10 set upon his table
for dinner anything but turnip soup
with a tough beef and sour crout, which
are not wholesome and necessary for
the public good.
lie has refused TO let his only SER
want, blink-cycd Joe, put more than
six grains Of coffee to one gallon Of
water. lie has turned loose a multi
tudc Of mosquitoes to assail us in the
peaceful houls Of the night and eat our
substance.
lie has kept up, in our beds and bed
s'cads, Standing armies OF mcrcilcss
sayages, whose rule Of warfare is undfs-
tlnguished destruction.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

irrecoverably gone? And the west
wind is easier to catch then /. Did |
not tell thee never to believe what was
improbahle?, And how should | whose
whole body does not weigh halfa tola
carry a pearl Of double my own weight
in my crop? Did | not tell thee to con-
ceal thy disappontments And here
thou hast tore thy hair, and bawled so
loud in thy anger, that the neighbors
gather round US. Alas! alas can expe-
rience only make men wise"'
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

q WORDS ARE THINGS"

a. WORLDS AhC liiiAN|
7, an hour of mirthful gladness,
" When plee was unrepressed,
1wounded one dearly loved,
With ,houghilsss words OF JEST
1tnew not then how bitterly
random ,rifle sings;
NJ, learn with pain, when grief was vain
IN know that "words are things"
Link backward Ger my by gone years.
The morning Of the day :.
W. cbildhood's smiles and childhood
tears,
Together fall-and play:
Ana every pleasure. every pam,
Thai thoughtful memory brings,
viii only deepen on my heart
The truth that words are things"
r,ll hone to gild thy fortune,
Win Gifts most bright and rare,
al words of promise will be found,
The brightest even there;
How far beyond all other hopes,
10 these devotion clings.
And whispers with an ardent tongue.
Thai" Words are precious things"
Then while Thy life is full fjoy,
And pleasures woo thy soul,
Accep, and use their loveiess GIFTS
Guided by self control /;
Whether midst household duties.
Or whether mirih her music rings,
Keep .hou a watch before thy lips,
Remember "words are things"
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

lie has ex,itcd domestic insuf-
rection among us, b. taking bi'ters be-
lore breakfast, and making his wife
and servant do the same before dinner,
whcfeby there is often the deuce TO pay.
lie has wagcd cruel war against nu-l
ture himself. by feeding our hor cs sit
broom-straw, and taken thcmeH to wa
ter, where swine refuse to wallow.
lie has projected onc,eycd Joe, in
his villany. in the robbery of our Jugs.
by pretending to give him mock tri-
al, alter sharing with him the sroil.
lie has cut oil our trade with foreign
ports. and brought in his own bald
faced whiskcy, when we had sent him
to buy better liquor abroad; and with
a perlidy scarcely parallcled in the
most barbarous ages, he has been
known TO drink our foreign spirits and
I'LL up our bottles with his own dire po-
tons.
lie las imposed taxes upon us to an
enormous amount. against our consent.
and without any ru'c but his own arbi-
trary will ana pleasure.
"A landlord whose character is thus
marked BY every act which may define
tyrant and Il master, is unfit to keen
q boarding house for Cherokee Indians.
Nor have we been wanting in our
attention TO Mrs. b., and Mrs. SALLY
We have appealed 10 their native JUS
ticc and magnanimiy, We have con
lurcd them TO alter a state of things
which would inevitably interrupt our
connection and correspondence. They
too, have been deaf to the voice of JUS
ticc; we arc, therefore constrained 10
hold all three of the parties alike inim.
lcablc to our wcll.bcing, and regard
less of our comfort.
We therefore make this our solemn
declaration of our final separation from
our landlord, and cast our defiance
in his teeth.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

SINGULAR ARREsT.--ln SWISS life
OF Eldon, just published, a story is told
OF man who committed murder and
made his escape. Every search was
made, but he could not be found
twelve years afterwards, the brother OF
the murdered man was at Liverpool, in
public house. He fell asleep, and
was awakened by some one picking his
pocket; he started, txcIaiming-" The
man that murdered my brother. twelve
years ago. The fellow was secured.
the murder proved upon him, and he
was condemned. lie had been absent
from England twelve years, as soldier
and had just landed when he committed
the theft that led TO his apprehension.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

AN ADVENTURE IN TExAs.-One
day, had rather serious adventure.
Roche and Gabriel were bcar-hunting,
while /, feeling tired, had remained
IN Rancho, where, for few days, we
had some amusement. In The afternoon,
| felt an inclination TO eat some fish,
and being told that at three or four mi
les below, there was creek full of Emo
BASES, went with my rife, hooks
and line. g.
81 soon found The spot, and was
seeking for some birds or sqirrels, whose
flesh could use for bait. As, rifle in
hand, ] walked, watching the branches
Of the trees along the streams, ! felt
something scratching my leggins and
moccasins, | looked down, and per-
cclved a small panther cub frisking and
frollcklng around my feet, inviting me
to play with it. 1t was a beautiful
little creature scarcely bigger than
common cat.
/" ] set down; pu! my rife across
my knees, and for some moments car
esscd il, as would lave done an or.
binary kitten; it became very familiar,
and was just thinking of taking it
with me, when heard behind me a
loud and well-known roar, and as the
little thing left me, over my head boun-
ded a dark heavy body. il was full
grown panther, the mother of the cub.
| had never thought Of her.
Travels in Texas.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

INDIAN LESSON On WIsDoM.-A
bird catcher Melted sparrow, and as
he held 1.-THE bird opened his beak and
said, pray let ne go, what good can
my imprisonment do? If you sell me
no one will give you twopence for me;
but if you promise to let me 90, | will
give you three lessons of wisdom, by
which you may make fortune, both for
the kutcha butcha," (family.) "These,
then, are my lessons; never regret what
is irretrievably gone; never believe
that which seems improbable; and new
err expose your disappointments TO the
world" Grateful for SO much sound
advice, the birdcatcher opened his hand
and the happy little sparrow flew off
TO the spray of a neighboring tree,
where, having plumed her feathers
with an air Of triumph: "Foolish man.
quoth she, Il have a pearl in my
crop weighing a tola; hadst thou killed
me. how great had been thy treasured"
Hearing this, the man broke forth
into loud lamentations. on his loss,
and when his disappointment had a
little vented itself, the little bird ex-
claimed, " Alas. alas what are. my
lessons worth. when, at the first tempia-
ton thou has: forgotten all F? Did mot
tell thee never to regret what was
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11
Steam Boar AYIr.-A q

STEAM Boar WIr.-A fried. wh.
never made a joke in his life, but en-
joycd the article hugely when man
ufactured by others, condc,ccnded [,
give us the following at second hand
Travelling lately on the North River
he overheard two ladies in an adioiainf
state room. who kept necessarily cali
ing upon that indispensable Figaro
thc"Stcwar1." "Sleward," called one
in smothcrcd voice, as ifof intens,
suffering, "do come and open this wir
dow, or shall die" The window ~.
accordingly opened; but directly 4
other lady exclaimed, Steward,
come and shut this window, OIL sht
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

A ROYAL Joke. George ILL.,, said
TO the Archbishop Of Canterbury" be
lieye your Grace has better than doz-
en- children" "No SIR" answered the
Archbishop, only eleven" "WelI,",
replied the King, sis not that better
than a dozen?"
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

Greene, the reformed gambler, re.
Gently took three packs OF Englisl
cards--jnst imported--from a gentle
man who attended one OF his lecture
in Boston, and without Hesitation s. le
ctcd every face card from each pac'
by looking at the backs.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

As she only wept in song--melodi-
Gus tcars--they did not have the effect
intended; for ere the moss-rosc faded
in the bower, our Violet knclt at the
altar beneath the bridalvcil, with Stem
ton at her side.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

transparent muslin robe, as the dewy
moss-rose on the stand beside her. She
held to her lips tiny porcelain vase,
BEAUTIFULLY painted, filled with lilies of
the valley, and in the other hand,
which rested on her lap, was an open
paper containing the following lines.
TO THE LiLr's SISTER.
This moin, when Aurora above the lake bent, love,
To tic up the braids Of her pale, golden hair,
While the gleam Of her curls, to lis small ripples
lent, love,
Looked just like star, broke and fallen in there,
Away from their banquet the fairies frightened
For shook, from wet spray. shower-bath
of dew;
And their luminous wiuglcts all quivercd and
lightened,
Like fire-aies, round mo as swiftly they flew.
Their cut. diamond dinnet-sst with them Departed
But one painted vase. full of lilies was Left
Their satelies treasure-iorsot when they started ;
stole it and run-oh, forgive me the theft!
And take it, dear maiden. and while you are
stealing
The sigh tina my bouquet breathes for YOU,
/ Remember the flowers of Fancy and Feeling,
We've wned i'll bright hours, too fleet and too
few.
Violet wore but one ornament that
evening, at the soirce they gave-it
was the fairy bouquet from the porcc-
lain vase. Were the flowers really
enchanted! Had they borne with
them, to her bosom, the spells of fairy
land? Were their tiny bells, unheard
by all but her, ringing a choral peal of
light and dainty music, such as in Ii
tania's realms is signal for the dance?
What else could have brought that d.
vine rosc-hue TO her delicate chcek?--
What else could have kindlcd in those
dropping eyes the light their lashcs
could not hide? All! it was love had
charmed the 1owers-'t was he that
rung the fairy bells! And though Ell
eanor shonc like star amid the crowd,
with her dark hair wrcathcd with gems,
Stanton saw but his own little lily of
the valley-lor henccforth she "alonc
was fair" her" whisper only sweet"
And though Blanche sung, softly and
mcltingly, the following pathetic song
A pride would not altar,
Forbids me 10 reveal,
Howe're my soul may falter,
The wretchedness feel!
And so. with idle laughter,
| while away the hours,
And weep in secret after.
Or memory's buried flowers.
They say I'm all too wild,
They chide my reckless Joy,
They call me but child,
That plays with every toys
A child! they little know
The woman.woes I've proved;
The wild! t is but 10 show
A soul by griefunmoved.
And so, with seeming laughter,
| while away the hours,
And weep a moment after,
Ger memory's buried flowers.
Yet was once all glee, love.
A singing bird in spring,
My spirit huitered free. love,
On light and sportive wing.
But Fate his sorrow sent,
And broke the buoyant wing,
And changed TO wild lament
The song used 10 siog.
And now, with mocking laughter,
chase the weary hours.
And weep in anguish after.
Ger memory's buried flowers.
As she only wept in S0ng--melodi-
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11
The SOsli Awakened,

WHICH WILL " IN Ii 81 !
DY FRANCIS S. oSGooD.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-01-11

looking as fresh and pure, in her gray.
transparent muslin robe, as the dewy
moss-rose on the stand beside her. She
held to her lips tiny porcelain vase,
BEAUTIFULLY painted, filed with lilies of
the valley, and in the other hand,
which rested on her lap, was an open
paper containing the following lines.
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

Whit three exceptions eyerv merchant belong
ipg to the Third Presbyterian Church burnt out.
Ihe demand for houses stores and Offices is immense.
many instances rented.
Yesterday afternoon, an attempt made to FIRE viii.
uarth & Reynolds Board Yard, Irwin street. The
doubledyed villain had placed bundle Of matches,
isned in heap Of shayngs, and thrust the whole
into board pile. 1t had begun 10 blaze hen it was
provdentsy discovered Let the police Of the city be
the watch. These devils in the shape among
US, would destroy cd the whole city if they could.
The New York herald., 1845-04-16
SARACEN'S HEAD.

No; u Dey street. (adjoning the franklin Hotel)
JOSEPH SMITH, late Of Worcester, England, begs leave
that he has leased the above establishment and fitted il up
style second He has also taken provide the
creature comforts for the inward man.
At II o'clock there will always be sandwich ready at
any time during the day the following articles i'll prepared
di0us epcure:-
Beef Steaks-Mutton Chops-Veal Cutlete-Broed Ham
and Eggs-trzzled BaconWesh Rarebits-Poached Eggs
Sardines-Ccld Cuts-Cream Cheese.
will at all times keep on hand the choicest Wines and
ed Bottled Porter Cider sparkling glass of
Albany Ale, accompanied with Havana all Of which
times. mlf9 w eow#ec
The New York herald., 1845-04-16
TO TAILQhS

equaed published and ready for delivery. Those who
desire avail themselves Of the advantages be derived
from the use Of the contains, would do well
obtain copy without delay. The book is l2 inches
square contains II elegant diagrams Of ali the various styles
OF the day, with full and ample in
ktructons for cutting and scientific The
following few Of the highly respectable who
testify the merits Of the books -
The being practically acquainted with Mr. Slime
NETS Treatise Cutting Garments with pleasure recommend
application cutting superior to heretofore published
either in Europe America.
r. Henry Son. Daniel Cutter, Stats Banker, Charles
Cox, h. w. Tryon Co.. B. f. Horner James Daily, John
Hsviland, J. II. Banker.
above be obtained Of the author, No. lis Broadway
New York lm*ee
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

Nova SCOTIA AND NEW Brunswick We are In
debted 10 our correspondents atH aliax ard 81 Ohm
for papers of the two provinces by the Acadia and the
Herald and Boston The Legislatures OF both provinces
session. engaged in Of local interest and
some of which betray want OF harmony Of
feeling between them and their respective executives
The New York herald., 1845-04-16
WESTERN PELrRms u A. .. whittemoree

WESTERN PrLTRRs.-R. " A. o. Whittemore
received by the Julia Cnoteau, fourteen tons OF
deer skins which part Of purchase recently msde
by them in Arkansas. The balance OF tne purchase,
which is sixty tons is expected BY them IN ew days
about three pounds and thus more tnsn ory tnosssnd
deer have been killed to supply TIL. heavy
e~s for marhet we hope that their enterprise viii Ne
nras,ah,v rsna54si iou's Rsptsbicsn, .apriib
The New York herald., 1845-04-16
THE NEW YORK HERALD.
JAMES GORDON BENNETT, Proprietor.
Circulation---Forty Thousand.

DAILY HERALD-Every day. Price cents per copy
ST % per annum-payable in advance.
WEEKLY HERALD-Every Saturday-Price Ct cents
per copy-$s l23 cents per annsm-payable in advance.
ADVERTISEMENTS at the usual prices-always cash
In advance.
PRINTING of all kinds executed with beauty and
despatch.
u3 All letters or communications, by mall addressed
to the establishment must be post paid the postage
will be deducted from the subscription money remted
JAMES GORDON BENNETT,
PRorRIEToR OF THE New YoRK HERALD ESTABLISHMENT,
Northwest cerneer of Fulton and Nassau strets
The New York herald., 1845-04-16
Is q A r d l N G
MRS. d. FISH,
1876, 1877 and l39 Broad,cGy.

~,
NEW YORK.
The PUBLIC and STRANGERS visiting the CITY, respectful
ly informed that the above premises fitted up
perior manner, for the entertainment OF
Permanent and Transient Boarders
The location is pleasant and cena! busnessthe apart
spacious, light and airy, and Handsomely furnished
throughout with furniture, beds bedding Sc The table
will be abundany supplied with the best the market affords
rn26 lmNr
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

Durnam.
Correspondence OF the Herald.l
DURHAM, Green Co April IA, ls45.
Destruction of a Tdmnsry.
The extensive tannery in Cookesburgh, Rensse
laerville, Albany county, owned by Hyde Il Bella
my, was yesterday entirely consumed by FIRE also
store, Is contents, and about 1000 cords Of bark.
The oisl Ioss is estimated at $4,000 to $4,000;
about half OF this was insured.
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

HOUSEHOLD FURNITURE WANTED,
House, the advertiser has just taken spacious,
dons house near Broadway and furniture su
cent to fill the house, would like make arrangements with
some person or dsed 70 rnsuish
ncaton addressed with real and residence will receive
prompt attention by addressing A. b c., Herald Office
Also, few rentsel boarders wanted. ala 3tsm
The New York herald., 1845-04-16
New London.
Correspondence Of the Hcrald.l

Correspondence of the Hcraldl
News OFFICE, New London,l
April IA, 1S45.
Result of the Election.
SIR
give you below the result Of the election in this
place to-day
Democrat Hhig.
{. c. Comstock.. 1906 T, Fitch Jr.. ..402
A. e. Lippt. 400 +. Chappell. 1896
Aoolnion. .o9
Scattering. IA
The wings are rejoicing as they have gained
some in their number OF votes
The New York herald., 1845-04-16
FRENCH CHINA.
REMOVED TO
NO. oE LIBERTY STREET,

UALESNE Importer and Agent for Manufacturers, has
A. always hans gs assortment Of dinner and tea se
Dessert Patz, OF s assorted Dishes, Soup TueeAs
CoveIsd Dhes 5siad Bowls. Fruit beskss Custards and
Also, Fancy Tea ssss and Rich Decorated Dinner Ssa
Aso sa aa1 Chocolate Wars Grech French and American
scepo
All tic articles Of the best quality, sra h
old liberal tsrNx. and ia lots "a ssitspurchasns.
rIaS Sps<
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

c1Sze- FOK NEW ORLEANs-Louisiana and New
NM Yo,h Line5ro'i,iyely frat Regular Psc.e,-To saii
pact snip AKVUM Cart w. Smith, will positively sail
on the above her regular day. 49,
daons apply board Orleans wharf Of Wall ST.
f. X COLLINS CO., 36 South
Positively goods received On board after tuesday,
Aa.nts in New Orleans, Messrs. HulIin Woodruff who
iii nromptIy forward ali goods their address, ala
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

VT w
r>RE HIGHEST PRICES be obtained by Gentlemen
Families who desous Of converting their left of
wearing apparel into cash.
Families Gentlemen quitting the city changing resi-
depce having superuous effects dispose Of will find
their advantage send for the subscriber who will
attend at their residence by appointment
H. LEVETT, Q Wall street.
line through the Post Office, otherwise, will receive
prompt attention. mrl lmsrc
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

AaHA ~ MORNING LINE FOR ALBANY and
intermediate Places.-The steamboat UTICA
Capt. q. w. Carman leaves the Pier foot Of
lnorthsd on Monday. Wednesday and Friday
Morning. Ut seven O'Clock . :.
Leaves Albany for New York and insrmediate andpg
Tuesday Thursday and Saturday Morning. o'clock
the oiFc he wharf. ala tfec
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

NOTICE is HEREBY GIVEN That my disagreement
~ with former partneu John Christian Senicke and
Charles f. A. Schirmer in the partnership ORD Will
helms in this city, and branch the city Of Boston,
been arranged 70 my entire said partnership
las been dissolved with consenhat have them full
and exclusive power and authority wind up aud settle
business and Affairs OF sad they having taken upon
New York, April 9TH, 1896. d. WlLHELMS.
AT lxysr
The New York herald., 1845-04-16

~ premises, eligiby situated
The store IS we'll established the dwelling part might be
occupied by physician with great advantage The premises
are highly respectable neighborhood Enquire
NO. 20 Frankfort st. alw*ec
Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1845-05-02
PATLORIM@
In New HagerstOWn!

The subscriber would respectfully
inform his old customers and The pub
lie generally, that he still continues to
carry on the above business in New
Nagerstown. Carroll county, Ohio. He
will bo found in his shop at all times 10
attend 10 those who may favor him with
call. He receives the New York
and Philadelphia Fashions regularly
every Spring and Fall, which will ena.
BILE him 10 give satisfaction TO both old
and young, He hopes by strict atlen
ton TO business to receive a share Of
that patronage which 10 always beslow.
ed by a liberal public on The industrious
His charges will be made 10 suit tbe
times, nOd he will receive either cash
or country produce in payment.
WILLIAM McCANDLESS.
Feb, IA. 1845.
Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1845-05-02
WEAK BACKS! WEAK BACKSM
1000 900 SOLD YEARLY!
Price only IA cts.

Price only IA cts.
SHERMAN'S POOR MANS PLASTER
The best Strengthening Plaster in the
world, and sovereign remedy Ior pains
and weakness ia the back, loins, side,
Breast, mock. limbs, 10 nts, rheumatism
and lumbagO; worn on the lower part Of
the spine, they entirely cure the piles
and on the small Of the back, the falling
Of Tho womb applied 10 the back oI the
neck Of children teelhing they give great
relief. 10 coughs, colds, oppression Of
the chest and stomach. liver complaint,
dyspepsia, asthma, and all diseases where
local remedies are required, none can be
better than these pIasters. They are
tsnio, or strengthening, stimulating and
AnOdyne Physicians recommend them
Because they stick better and afford more
relief than any other ever known. One
million are cold yearly,
J. w Hoxie, Esq. who was bent near.
ly double with Rheumatism, was enabled
alter wearing one " hours. 10 get up
and dress himself. 10 Two days he was
perfectly we'll.
Mr.. David Williams. Of Elizabeth
town, N. J on old revolutionary soldier,
was 90 afflicted with Rhematism that he
could hardly he'll himself. One of these
Pastors entirely cured him.
Mrs. George Nixon, one Of lh" Mana
gers Of The lnsu. .ution for Aged INDECENT
Females 10 the city OF New York, says
the old ladies find great benefit from
those P;asters, they being very liable to
pains or weakness 10 the back, as we'll
as other parts Of the body.
MrHGsOrge W Spencer, Sreosl H.
spsclor, was cured Of the Piles by war