The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1845-06-11
From the London Punch.

From the London Punch.
MRS. CAUDLEfS CURTAIN LECTURES,
Mr. Caudie has expressed uish that Of his nme,~
erous "ihie responsibilities wns Of the masculine
gender. Mrs Caudls is horror. struck,
Mr.. Caudle, the judgments of Heaven will fall on
you. should not be surprised # you were to be
struck down. Finding fault with the order OF ma
ture! and repining at the blessings that are thrown
into your lap! wonder what you won't say next
Wishing one of our darling girls was changed into
boy. Caudle, you'll be punished for this. There
might as well be no punishmens, if man is not
made TO feel them after such horrible wish
| What are you fighting and swearing at that rate
With 0, 5ed-bug! IL is not so, Caude; II is only
a trick to stop me from saying word. ! cannot
| speak word after come to bed, but there is a
shirt button, pudding, or bed-bug thrown into
my face. You may lay and talk, and find fault and
scoldj but as soon your slave of wife says a
word, she's insulted with fling about bed-bugs or
told to stop her everlasting tongue, And this is the
treatment receive, after shaving myself TO boil a
nice pudding for your dinner! II WASN'T half done,
do you say' Oh, Caudle, if you don't come to pow
erty, and know what II is to want mouthfu of
dinner there is end of justice! Turning up your
nose at lovely nice pudding, that tired your poor
wife almost TO death to cook
| And so you want fissy, noisy tyke of boy
about the house, instead Of our pretty little lady
|
you had mentioned il at that precious club of yoursl
and the fellows there patted you on the back, and
told you that you ought to stand up for your rights
shouldn't wonder if that Prettyman went home
and told his wife of IL, and had hearty laugh at
your making fool of yourself. She's got house
full of noisy, dirty boys, and mighty proud she is
of them. Let me catch her laus hing at me because
my boys all girls Let catch her, that's all !
She wouldn't desire to laugh but once--only once
A boy in the housed First tearing this, then
breaking that now pulling the cats ta--then
brought home kicked bya horse! When old enough
to see about for himself, running away from school
or going off to sea! Perhaps when a man, joining a
club--ndeed know he would If he took after his
father Caudle, was not prepared for this treat.
ment. have been l-treated laughed at swore at
and told to hold my tongue, before had spoken
scarce word; but IL remained for this nights work
to finish my trials. Boys and bed-bugs flung at me,
as though was brute beast! shall not survive
such treatment long-theres comfort in that.
shall die, or go home TO mother-and you will be
left to find fault and scold to yourself Don't tell
me that you was only in fun Fun, indeed! Ii has
come to pretty pass, when you acknowledge you
are making fun Of your wife. Caudle, you tell
| story. People don't come to bed to make fun.
What do they come fori They come to behave
like Christian people, Not to twt of bed-bugs, and
then cry fun. There isn't bug in this bed-but
there is brute in i-a brute, sir-that has wife
with the temper of amb-a pattern of patience
that is put upon every day she lives, by her hus-
band, because he knows her angel temper will not
resist-who seldom opens her mouth, and when
she does there is nothing but puddings skyarks,
| or boys, or bed-bugs thrown into it!
Don't tell me that never spoke in my life--that
Pm dumb! Oh, Caude, if it were possible thing,
should be out of temper. This treatment is hor-
rible! Never spoke word! There's one word
wish ! never had spoke to you, sir! When you
came bowling, and bending, and pleading, with
your hat in your hand, and your hypocritical
| smiles, and beseeched me to make you so unspeak-
ably happy as to become Mrs Caude, l was fool
enough then to speak word that set you dancing
about the room like a great fool you The
most unfortunate word said was yes, to your
impudence! and sorry enough am for it. What
business had you to come around dear mothers
house, and beg me to go a walking with you, and a
wheeling me with your nonsense
Oh you're not asleep, then. What did you say,
Mr.. Caudlei You wish had said no? Caudle,
cannot endure this! | can't. If were not patient
Christian should die under the burden!
suppose when you get through at that club Of
yours you tell those pretty fellows there that you'll
go home and make fun of your wife--or catch bed
bug! O, that should ever live to be made fun of.
Don't tell me- rveno doubt you say SO. You talk
all the time, and can hardly speak word for my
self. But the time will soon come, Caudle, when
you will not have your poor Margaret to find fault
with, and make fun Of feel it coming on. Cau-
die, l am breaking down. You may laugh and
kick round, but you will find it So. | amt stock
nor stone! Done the best could, as / have and
then be twitted because we have no boys among our
little ones-as though that was my fault-as though
my Clementina, and Arabela, and Ariminta, and
Zuabella, and Sophiama, and Angelica, not bet
ter than all the noisy, halowing boys in the king
dom. Oh, Caudle, you are cold-hearted-ma-
king neutrality-suspicious.
At this time, says Caudle's MS, my wife's
tongue rested--and soon after fell into troubled
sleep-in which saw visions of dirty-faced boys
Mrs. Caude in fts--and thought bed-bug as large
elephant rested on my breast1