The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1845-01-11
WHAT AN l.
paw Jr,l The eloquent breaches
ksho,t oo,nnt .arroona ansuars iha

When ask myself the question VIVA
am y It puzzles me how 20 answer It.
Materially sposkiug, ! am a sort OF io'
creased nonenity ~ small barrel OF lh'
utI1i oil OF nolhlng thiCkened lot.
substance by accidentally coming 10 COT
TACT with cold coog' slng world. Cnen
icslly speaking. am compound o
phosphorous, gas nod atmo,pherlc wlnd
as most Of you have, doubtless, long az.
discovered Mechanically speskiog
am 40 old clock, made, wound up and
sel in motion some several years ago by
Tho Great Clock maker Of The Universe
i was made 10 run 10 years; at lass'; 4
if Fate and Forlune viii ouly keep my
ilner works 10 order, shall expecl 20
keep going TIL my weights have run 'h'
full lenglh Of their chords. Morally
spesking, sm sn equal mixture OF vice
aud yirue--a KIDD of vinegar and mo.
Is,ses mess. 80 nicely are lhey mixed
together that the vinegar Of vice is nol
40 sour ne 10 be uupal lpable, nor the mo.
iassts Of virtue SO sweet as 10 be Hckeo
ing. NV feelings are as tender as young
toad sloois--my passions are az strong
asa decocion Of lobacco juiceAmy sym
pa,hies are as sofa and the down nnder
en- angel's wing--aud my desires for the
proportion of human happiness are jusl
as happen 10 feel about The head heart
scd stomach.
Me'sphoricaIly speaking, am toy
thing OF time, played for short period
and hen cast among rubbish, fool bali
of fate, kicked abou, ill burst, and am
no longer worthy even Of a kick;a wind
mill Of excitement. ihs, moves with The
popular breeze, but 10 still in calm, and
correct thermometer, my mercury ri.
sing 10 summer heat by the warm rays
Of hope, and sinking 10 below zero in
he cold atmosphere Of doubt, a mean
'ellow candle, already burn, one third OF
ils way o he socket, aud every mo
ment 10 danger OF being extinguished
by HE sufferers Of Death; an old boot.
worn By pilgrim, with wooden leg,
over lhe rough road Of existence, till i
/. neither worth feeling, patching uor
preserving In fact, my friends doo'D
see rha, am Of any more use 10 the
inverse considered IS wholel than q
shovel Of poudrelle 10 ten acre CORN
field. When am dead and gone, J
.hsIl be as hing that never had been;
md The children of poseti'y will pro.
baby shoot bles across my grsye,a
unconscious Of their sscnigous doinga
SIS parcel Of mice gnswing al the grea
~ leaves of an old spd fsvorits family
bible.
Mrs SrLlzrizztr's ScHooL-The
school taught in SqubIown, by Miss He
lena Jnl'ana Augusta Irene splizfzzle, i.
conducted on the purrst principles OF maid
enly modesty aud deicscy.
Hiss Susan Snif!le, spell shawl
S.hor l--shawi
No-'sain'. rgh,
S.h OIL,
No, try again
Sh.Or.e.l
ia! no, ,ha, ain, right. Susan, what
do you pu. round your necs'
My beads, nam.
What elsel
NY new lace caps, man
Pshsw! DID you go 10 church las! pighl'
Yes man
Well, nov, wha. did you have ro9nd
your neck, besides the cap and beads, just
before you started!
o Gear me, I can, tell
Silly child. RecoIlec. now, for yor
mus, ell ....
| am afeered'to, nam
Afraid 10 What nonsense Tell it righ,
ou, Miss. crI will give you black mark
Well, then, Jim Smith. the carpenter
mans arm, bu, 1t was only ones
Good gracious, lordy mel Why tht
child is ruihed. o, Ia! DID svr hear
the like Go right into the closet, Miss
Susan Snifle this minute
Elasticity Of aJetc's Conscience
what do you axe for that coat said an
lrshman 10 Jew on Main street yesterday
as he fried up lhe tails Of calico roSl.
whose texture you might in oil probability
have darlsd straws through cheap and mas,
ty ike the Peoples theatre,
Wat you want 70 buy dat coat, rel yoU|
oall have it for thFes dollars, cheap as
dlrE
Three j)IIars! be faggers can boy
them for les, nor ,ha, on Na'hers street
We'll rum in, sell em cheaper nor an,
store 10 dis CITY, by goG now Va' III You
give for EN- sell it to you for two dollars
end half not dam cent less, go be lip NE
gor
Be dad shan't give that for it, III give
We dollar and half and no, q d--d cent,