Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1845-01-24
FROM the ST. Louis Re.siiis.
SWALLOWING OYSTERS ALIVE.
BY SOLITAIRE.

II Sucker HIS FIRST Oyster S.eauo,ri,g .7!ire-7sr-
f.tie Sst4a!,oa-G.c Heaue- Disappearance
\, late hour tho o,hor night tho door of an
oyster house III our city was thrust open, aud in
stalked hero from the Sucker State He was
quite SIX feet high, spare. somewhat stopped, with
! a hungry, ANXIOUS countenance, and his hands
pushed clear down 10 the bottom of his brooches
pockets. His outer covering was hard to define,
but after surveying il mnu,ely, como to the
conclusion that his sui, had been made in his boy
hood, of dngy, yellow linsey woolsey, and that
having sprouted up with astonishing rapidity, no
had boon forced 20 picco IT out with all colors in
order 10 keep pace with his body. In spite of his
exertons, however, he had fallen in arrears about
a foo. of the necessary length, and consequently,
stuck that far through his inexprossibles. His
crop of hair surnounied by tho funniest littlo
seal skin cap imaginable. After taking a posi-
ton. he induiged III long stare at the man open
ing the BlvELvEs, and slowly Observation-Disclosures
Yes, SIR responded tho attentive operator,
and hne ones they are, too.
We'll, I've hcarn tell of listers afore,' says he,
but this Is the iust time Two secd 'em and maybe
I'll know what thar made of afore git out Of
town.
i Having expressed this desperate intention, he
cautiously approached plato, and scrutinized the
uucased shell fish with gravity interest hch
would have done honor 10 the most iliustrious
searchor into the hidden mysteros of nature. At
length he began to solioquIze on the difficulty of
getting them OUT and how queer they looked when
out.
Il never seed any thin hold so-'takes
amazin site of serewin, boss, TO get 'em out, aud
amt they slick md slippery when they does comet
Smooth eel Ivo good mind to give that
fcer lodgings Jest TO realize the effects, uncle
Jess used to say about speclation.'
'Wcll, SIR, was the reply. down with two BITS.
and You can have DOZEN
Two bits.' exclaimed the Sucker, now, come,
that's stickon' II rite strong boss, for listers.
4 dozen on amt nothin' to chicken, and
there's no gItIn more'n pIcayuno apiece for
them. I've on'y realized As plea unos my
first ventur' to St. Louis. I'll tell you what, I'll
GIN you two chickens for a dozen, If you'll
clude deal
A wag, who standing by indugng in n
dozen. winkcd to the attendant 10 shell out and
the offer accepted.
Now mind repeated the Sucker, 'alI fair
two chickens for dozen,-you're a witness,
of your tricks, for I've hearn tell that you city
ioars mighty sfp'ry coons.
/ The bargain being fairly understood,
Sucker squared himself for the Observation-Disclosures
y put off his sealskin tucked up his sleeves, and
fork in hand, awaited the appearance Of No. /.
II came-he saw-and quickly it was bolted
| A moments dreadful pause ensued. The wag
dropped his knife and fork with look Of mingled
amazoment and horror-somethng akin to Shaks-
pcaro's Hamlet seeing his daddy's ghost,-
while he burst into the exclamation
3Swallss -s.e' O. H., f,h-.-s
Our sucker had opened with pleasure
dread Of tdnt know what-a consciousness that all
wasn't right. and ignorance OF the extent Of tho
the unce rita Of that terrible. Urged
despers tion he suffered out
sWhat on ar,h's the row?'
Did swallow il altpen enquirs.i the wag.
Il sSolleTsd me shouted the Sucker
you're a dead mao y exclaimed his friend: the
creature alive and viii right through you added ne
in n ms hopeless
pzeu pu.np and pump out" screamed the Suck
frenzy, his fairly starting from their sockss-
ON gracious!-vvhatI do !-Its got hold my nnards
already, I'm dead a chicken-do somethia' for
Eme IN
eyes,
why didn'i you put of this is!' snlured
wag, pointing a bottle of strong pepper sauce.
The hint enoug h-the Sucker tho instant, Sci
zed bottle and, desperately wrenching the X,
swallowed half the draught He fairly squsst
effects and gasped aud blowed, and pitched
and twisted, il it coursing through him with
effect while the time his
Al length. becoming little composed, his wsg
eish adviser approached almost bursting with suppressed
laughter, and enIuired-
How are you now, old felow--did you kill ii!'
sWel did, hoss-ugh, ugh my innards! II THAI
agonie didn't ton
a small airthquake. then faint SPUR
med like the KILN touched il ,bstt-enc
here q made Of suppressed agony and
determination he paused as IL to give force his
words and slowly and deliberately remarked-'if git
chickens from for that live animal Pm did" and
seizing seal-skin he ronished.
The Of and the contortons of the
ny would have made believe that
,hey had all been 's,caHocins oysters ahUeH