Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1845-07-15
From the London Punch.

born man. What do YOU saw YOU wish
had7 Mr. C1udle, Ill not lie quiet in my
own bed to be insultcd. Oh. yes. YOU dill
mean to insult me. know what YOU mean
You mean, ii | had been born man you'd
never have married me-. That's pretty sen
timent, | think; ami after the wife I've been to
you. And now | suppose you'll b. going To-
publ. dinnerscyery day Its no use YOU tel
ling me you've only been 10 one beforc; that's
nothing la do with it--nojhing AT oil. Of
course you'll he out every night now. hnew
what itwould corie Ia when You were made
ni3son: when you were once made brother
as YOU call yourself; knew where the hus
banl and father would bc;-rm sure. Caudle.
and though I'm yom wife grieve TO say it
m sure YOU haven't 50 much heart. that YOU
have amy tosparc for people ont of doors. In
deet, shoulj like tu see the man who has
No, no, C9udlc; I'm b. no means a selfish
womliI-quite the conilUry: love my fellow
creatures as Il w,ic and mother al a family.
who has only To look To her own husband and
children ought To love EN-.
A brother, indeed! What would YOU say
y waste 60 and be made sister WHY.
know very well-@the house wouldn't hold
YOU.
Where's yc,U wutch?' How should know
where your watch is2 You ought To know
But Ia be sure people who go to public din
ners never know where anything is when they
come home. You've lost it, no doubt; and il
viii serve youquitc right if YOU have. II it,
should b. gone--and nothing more likely
wonder isuny Of your brothers will give YOU
another! Catch 'em doing it.
on must ind your match! And you'll get
mp iot NJ Nonsense--don't be foolish-lie
still. Your watch is on the mantle piece
Ha! isn,it a good thing for you you've some
body to take care OF II.
What do YOU say? frt derr cyeatures
Very dear, indeed, you tliuk me, dare saw.
But the Tact is, You don't know what you're
taking about tonight. I'm fool to openmy
lips 70 You, bat can't heipit
Nhccs your watClil Haven't told YOU
ON tn mantle piece, All right, indeed!
Pretty conduct YOU men call all right There
now, hold your tongue Mr.. Caudle, and 90 10
Sleep I'm sure its the best thing YOU can do
tonight. You'll be able to listen 10 reason
tomorrow morning; now us thrown away
upon YOU.
Wares your Cheque-took? Never mind
your chequc- book took care of that. What
business had 10 take IL ont of your pocket.
Every business. No, no. If YOU choose to
60 TO public dinners, why--as I'm only your
wiie-l can't help il. But know what fools
men are made ci there, and ii know it, YOU
never take your chegue-book again with YOU
What! Didn't see your nam, down last wear
Tor ten pounds Job Caudle, Esq. CO.
IL looked very well in the newspapers. of
course; ufl YOU thought yourselfa somebody
when they knocked The tavern tables: but /
only WISH Id been there-yes, only wish Id
been III the gallery. Ii | wouldn't have told
piece of my mind I'm not alive. Ten pounds
indeed! Aud the world thinks you a very
iine person for it. | only wish could bring
The world here, and show en- what's wanted
at home. think the world would alter its
mind then; ycs-a little!
What do you say? 4 wifc has no right
TO pich her husbands pockeR a pretty hus-
band you ave to talk in that way. Never
mind: you can't prosecute her Tor it--or I've
no doubt you would; none at all Some men
would do anything. WhaiP You're a bit of
a hedd-dche! hope you havc-aud a good
blt, too. You've been to tie right place for it,
| MOI won't hold my tongue. It's all very
ven Tor YOU men TO so II taverns-and talk
and 'udst-aDd hurra 4 wonder you're
not all ashamed OF yourselves To drink the
Queens health with all the honors, believe
you call lt-yes, pretty honors, you pay TO the
SEX say, wonder you're not ashamed to
drink that blessed creatures health, when
you've only TO think how you use yorr own
wlVeSat home, But the hypocyites tina. the
men are-uts'
Where's your match? Haven't told you7
It's under your pillow-there YOU needn't be
feeling for it. l tell you it's under your oil
low. H's al right? Yes; great deal YOU
know OF what's right just now. fla! was
thcre ever any poor soul used as am. I'm
dccT cre0turc3 Pahl Mr. Caudle! I've only
to say, I'm tired of your conduct-quite tired
and don't care how soon there's an end of il.
:" Why did Itdke your chcqt,c Uo0i? I've
told you-to save YOU from ruin, Mr. Caudle.
lOu nc not going 10 DC ruined! la! YOU don't
Know anything when you're out know what
they do at these pubic dinners-chariety.
tiey call cnj pretty charities. Charity !
mheve, always dimes a. home. | know what
they do; the whole systems trick-No: I'm
not strong hearted creature: and YOU ought
to be ashamed To say so of your wife and The
mother OF your children You'll not make
me cry tonight, can tell you'll was going
TO say that--oh! you're such an aggravating
irian don't know what was going TO saw
" THANH hcdUcHy What for? J don't see
that there's anything So thank heaven about
was going TO say, know the tick Of public
dinners. They get lord or duke, il they
can catch lin-anytbiug to make people say
they We dired with nobility, that's it-ycs,
they get one OF these people with star per
haps IN his coat, to take the chair-and to
talk all sorts OF sugar plum things about charity
and TO make foolish men, with wine i'm 'cu
iecl MAT they've no end Of money: and then
shutting their eyes 10 their wives and families
at homc--all tlfe while that their own faces
are red and flushed like peoples, and they
thnk Tomorrow Will never comc--then they
get EN- 10 put their hands To paper. Then
they make them pall out tlscr cheques. But
took your book, Nv Ctsutlle YOU couldn't
DO II a second time. Whatarc YOU laughing az
NoHingf It's no matter: ] shall see il i'm the
paper tomorrow, fos if YOU gave ANYTHING.
YOU were too proud to hide II. J know yosr
charity.
"|lherc's goHr WoicR IiaveH't : told you
fifty times where il isi Ia the pockct-oycr
your ead-ol course! Can't you hear il tjck2
No:you can hear nothing TO nignn
And now, Mr. Cdudlc ! should lik. to
know whose hat it is you've brought HON
You went out with beaver worth tlree-and
twenty shillings-the second time vou'yo