Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1845-07-18
For the Carr0H Free Press.
HOW A TEACHER CAN HIRE HIMSELF.
A FARCE.

CHUFtLCttfs III IHP lTOHtI.
TRIGGER, the Tcacher
SPED, ist Director,
TRowEL, ed Director,
AwLHATT, Sd Director,
ToADY, supernGnrery Director,
EsCALAPEUs, a householder,
BUTRlDGE, a 2"
PEDAGoGyE, an old Teacher.
"Guid Lord, the gihe gle as,
To see ourselves, as itllers see us. Burns.
Enter Trigger and Spud,
Trigger.-Wpll cousin Spud. it appears
that old Escalapeus has been with all the
householders in the district, and they have
all signed paper, prcerring PedagOgue as
a teacher to me, me that has done more for
the district than any other man in it. You
know coz, that renounced Whiggery for
the express purpose of teaching that school,
and that made al inimitabIe speech at
EneskiIlen Hall, when | told the people that
| | had got my eyes open as to WhiggeTy, and
that hencetorth would be a true democrat.
Spud.-Yes, cousin Trigger, remember
your speech very well, and | cannot tell
you how much | was delighted to hear svch
a flow Of oratory. Why had noidea that
such young stumper could have put forth
such powerful arguments: why it was al
most equal to Brough or McCausln, and |
do think that the houscholders are very un-
grateful, 10 set you aside for the purpose Of
employing PedagoguP or any other man.
Trigger ---Cousn Spud, Republics were
always famed for being ungratefuI, but with
your assistance coz, and the accidents that
Providence has put in my power can get
the school in spite of the househoIders and
all they can do to prevent it, and now for
the ,Nodus operaadi In the first place you
know that Providence cut short old Wad-
dies lthp old Directors) wind, and the d.
vision Of the district cut off another Dlrec-
tor. and I, according to law, being town
ship clerk, and having the power to appoint,
am now in the same situation as John Ty.
Ter, and intend to show my power in the
same way that he did; that is, as selEpre-
servaiion is the first law of nature, mean
to provide for myself first, and then for my
friends, by giving them appointments un-
der me. Then, who cares for Escslapeus
or Buuidge, or all the householders. Do
you smoke it cousin Spud!
Spud-An excellent plan COZ, (all that
learning was not put into that big head Of
yours FOR nothing but dear coz, you must
be cautious: you have already appointed
Mr., Awlhaft for Director, and have good
reason to believe thai he will go against you.
TJfgger,-You don't say so coz; made
sure hat he was one Of nv firm friends
We did NOT exactly make bargain to tia!
effect, but thought from what said to
him, and he TO me. that was sure of him:
but AS Won saw coz, must be more cautious
about the other appoin,ment, What think
Won of brother Trowe!
sd Trowo1 win do ov,oar Thoc
p%" Laro son'o oIiac,ore - hir, nm nr.
ua"! ~ ,.a, l,,. ,,I,o onrno e.. ,ho n,,io..
tons of such ceIows. give us the mower
coz, and such moonshino Office ions we will
whistle to the winds: to be sure, did pro-
mise on my word and honor to Chissel, that
if they voted for me for township Catcher,
| would have no hand in employing you as
teacher, but in these days, who cares for
words and honor when the interest of a
friend is at stake.
7.jo.roy Give me- von hand coz: tha,
{ is the Voice Of true friend. will you be 50
, k;nd oe 70 conenlt bro,her Trowel on thi.
business and bring him here m the course
of an honr
SauJ|That T will do with the creates
nleasnro Erh Supd.
- u,nir,h,,.oho,noaon aon,
Ir'gger'Sol'.. e;,, .'iT. T; au.v.e Tba, TG,l
WoFE .e,I -n' lny na,E , 70 ''Is Io li,sSr nsto,
S'y "as 1T'n .'m r,icnia,o n1 nor p,uO O,nrnc no.
Ilou' lla' oan h "l''Do"., ,,, ',ol +,
pam enough 10 'eaHn I, yo"m ','o,o.s' ~
all noaN can 'o'N az P!e'n a. 'los' 'Iieu lI
ana tneh r"'' lioI Sf',,l'',i,"! "I.I Juu ..0S
: slca'ly, ana as 'o' P,cN','S up 'Ile Uoua'9 a
the END OF lhe QUARTER ''iete are 'Tw r, g"
y beat me- nut mere comes . pu" anu I'o"''
k Enter Sp"d and Iro"et::
y Tro,oel-Dunder und Blixen, blothe
Trigger, do you know dat de householder
d have held mee.in, und past resolution
, Stain dare objections to you in detail, d
II rascals.