The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1845-02-14
'Not Drop more, Major, uulcss il il sweet
enci y,

III q Siiidli NilidSe III tuC SOutUeTU
section of our state, resides certain
Major, who keeps a small, cosey,
comfortable inn, famous for its swce-
tened drinks, as well as its iovial
landlord and few of the surround
ing farmers visit the neighborhood
without giving the Major friendly
call to taste his "mixtur." The gay
host, with jolly phiz, round person,
bright eye, and military air, deals
out the rations spiced with jokes,
which, if they are not funny, are at
least laughed at, for the Major en-
jays them so vastly himself that his
auditors are forced to laugh out Of
pure sympathy.
A good couple, who resided about
six miles from the Majors, for long
period had been in the habit of visit
ing him once month and as regu-
larly went home Dire adfully sweeten-
ed with the favorite "mixtur," but
of late we learn that the amicable
relations existing betwe en- the Major
and the old visitcrs have been brok-
en- off. On the last visit, there was
good cause for an end being put to
any more ''sweet drinking"
"Uncle Merrill, how are you any
how ?" was the Majors greeting
'and | declare if the Missis amt
with you, too, Just as if he expect
ed she wouldn't come. "What'll
you take, Missis? Shall | sweeten
you little of about the best recti-
fed that ever was toted into these
'erc parts Pit jest looks as bright
as your eyes W-and here the Major
winked and looked so sweet, that
there was no resisting, and she did
take little sweetened.
The hours flew merrily by, and
evening found the old couple so over
loaded with sweets, that it was with
great difficulty they could be seated
on the old grey mare to return home !;
but, after many a kind shake from
the host, and just another drop of his
sweetened, off they logged, see-saw-
ing from side to side on the critter,
the old lady muttering her happiness,
and the old man too full to find
words to express himself.
"Sich another man as that Major"
said the dame, "aint nowhere-and
SIGH mixture as he does make, its
tempt!n' to temperance lecturers.
He is an amazin nice man. If any
thing, he sweetcns the last drop bet
ter than the first. Good gracious
what a pleasin' creature he is 20
Ever and anon, the cncomiums on
the Major and his "mixtur," broke
forth from the old lady, until of a
sudden, on passing a small rivlllet, a
Jolt of the mares silenced them, and
the old man rode on short distance
with perfect quietness. At length he
broke out with
cold woman, you and that 'ere
Majors conduct, to-day, was rayth-
er unbecoming; his formalities was
too sweet to be mistook, and you
amt going thar agin in hurry"
Silence was the only answer.
ooh, you're hufy, arc you?" con-
tinued the old man. "Well, | guess
you can stay so till you give IN
and on he logged in a silent mood
On arriving at the farm, he called
to a servant to lift the old woman
off, but Sam stood gazing at him ii
silent establishment.
"Lift her off, you Sam-do you
hear ?-and do it carefully, or some
of her wrath'll bile out. In spite OF
the Majors sweetening, she's as mad
as blazes !"
"Why, de lor massa, de ole 'oman
amt dar,' replied Sam, his eyes stan
ding out of his CONFERENCE.-The
turn round, massa, and satisfy your
set dat dc ole oman clar gone and
missin'-ae oie--!"
And sure enough, on a minute eX-
animation by the old man, she was
"found missing The Major was
charged at once with abduction, in
slant measures were taken for pur-
suit, and party despatched to scour
the road. On proceeding about two
miles on the road to the Majors,
the party were suddenly halted at
the small rivulct, by finding the
missis' head lying partly in the
stream, its waters LAYING her lips,
and softly murmurng-"Not a drop
more, Major, unless it's swceten
ed"
CL~.tI,, -. a., ,