Democratic standard. [volume] (Georgetown, Brown County, Ohio) 1837-1850, 1845-01-28

mean by bTawling so, as il The whole loWI
didn't know what O'Clock il is. I've |
great mind ;Os-yeS, If be wasn't so big
wOuld-and IL | do come across a Lille
one, I'll shake Charley all TO pieces lhiI
very night, III commit juslifsbIe hOmi
eide.
'Ha! ha! laughed Stubs bysIcricsIly
" Mrs. SlUbbs is up yet, she's got Il
hear Of il. I'll give her biz Of my mind
Why did she let me take nominaIiOn'
She told me not, know; but d. believe
she told me SO only TO make me take it,
10 aRgrsVaie me into taking il. II she haC
advised me 10 take il, she knows
wouldn't ;nOthiBg but cOntrariness in these
women. lis all her faull--il's alWsy,
her fault-somebOdy else is continually
getting me into scrape.'
And IheD, added SIubbs, savagely
when I've done correcting the old wor
man, there's got 10 be a spankade. III
rouse out every one OF the children. I'll
spank them til I'm tired and dc fathers
duty by them. They've been neglected
the whole of this campaign, and I'll be-
gin TO be paternal right off the reeI.'
'WeLI, : continued Stubbs, iu softened
tone. there's always comfort for maHi-
ed folks. There's somebody at home
that you can blow up when you've a
nina to, and they can't help themselves
Stra ngers would lake it when you ieel
sassy, but it is the bOunden duty of Mrs.
SIubbs 10 Iisien and not TO throw things
at me. Every body isn't liable 10 slap.
page, but lis never lost upon the little
SIubbs--lf it isn't due now, they cant
take it on account. Ah! domestic feIci
ly is one Of The greatest things that ever
was found out, especially when you are
not elected. Home sweet hOme-one
can have row at home, and il's nobody s
business but your Own.'
There's one thing certain, at any rate !,
said Stubs on the following morning, as
hs poked the newspapers with the election
returns, inIO the stOVe-'I'Ve done with
politics. ] don't like being called can.
CARGO, and cannibal, and all sorts of hard
names. I've been pepPered quite e.
nOugh for one while in shat way. And
another thing-rm tired Of forking out
for other peoples amusement. When
a mans ION the ticket as they called
it, he is pro bono PublicO-Ihe public
bone every thing he's got. MOney--Oh
yes-money for professions, money for
flags, EmOney for meetings, money for
documents, money for newspapers-monI
ey money all The time. But that's not
enough, il you're 'On the ticket'-yOu
must work like a horse besides-run
round the town, and scampeT over the
country-get up earley, go 10 bed late
and never get no dinner-hSVe 10 keep
cold potatoes in your pocket, and eat'em
as you 90. Keich one bad cold atop of
the other bad cold, till you're as hOarse
as the man with an oyster cart OF a rainy
night. And then, when you feel bad
Y ouIself about il, you mustn't let on that
you feel bad, but tell whOppers to keep up
their spirits. Ard at last when yOuT
pockets are empty, when you're as lean
as a greyhound, and CrOak like raven
wh en- your business has gone TO rack
and rain, why then you're not elected
and are set down as used up--that's the
finish
live had a talk with Mrs. Stubs
about it-we'ye made up--and nov
am going TO elect myself to The Office o
minding my own affairs. and looking af
Ter my own shop. Me and Mrs. StUbb
are the United States, and am TO b
President thereof. The chillteG are &
be the people-they are the UOT pOpuIi
and are 70 hurrah aOd vote for me at eve
ry election. Our CsAdle.light procession
shall be up and down stairs-we'h have
town meeting every day at dinner, an
FIN our own loaves and fishes. Pom m
word, now that me and Mrs. Stubbs hav
concluded not 10 have hard words ar
more, if I don't begin 10 think that to b
beaten in an election, is sometimes ju;
about the best thing that could haPpe
to a fellow. II sort Of settles him dow
puts notions out Of his head-make
him sleep without dreaming, and send
him about his business. feel all 10
better Of IL already. And the IittleSiubb
shall have cent piece all round tbs al
lernoon.'