Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1845-02-27

now have been in tears.''
Stentor Slubbs, however, in the first flushe
oil his disappointment, carried on the war diff
leren'ly, from not general;zing enough. Whe,
the result was first asccrtaned, Stentor S,ubb
hammered his hat upon his brow, as if. unlik,
fa'rick Henry, he was determined never agai,
10 DOW TO the majesty of the people.' |
seemed as if it were proposed. that his Ina
should be from this time forth installed as
hxture-Slubbs and his hat, sone and indiyis
i6le.' Stubs buttoned his coat clear nm &c
the chm, with an air that told palmer thar
words could speak, that bis charities wer,
hereafter To remain at home, and that all pop.
ular avenues To his heart were closed now
ana forever, with ssno admilance,o chalket
over the door. No admi,tance, except or
BUSINESS to the bosom of Sien.or Stubs
! He took his defeat as tine inexperienced are
apt TO take such things---as personal matter
Not being used to il, he fell, afIronted. He
thoug ut he had been made game of. To be
game OF your own accord, is an honor; but
10 imagine that other folks are 'making game
vi yo",i Is productive OF an unpleasant sensa-
"on, wneh you are not exactly used to it.
'Dont go, Siubbs, said brother politician,
as ne pulled his segar: wait for the full re-
t"rns' ! want to know how much you are
defeated because made bet you couldn't
come II. Then there's the rest of the tick
Ell p
The furies take the rest of the ticket, eac-
uia'ed Stubbs, as he pushed through the
crowd and strooe indignantly along 'I'll go
slraight home and break something. l'll
smash chair over the table--l'll jam my
STICK right through the window-l'll dance
on the top of the tea things. Not elected
DOM lie! any body ever try to speak to me
again, II they don'twant to kelchit There's the
watchman, what does lie mean by bawlrg so,
as IL the whole town did not know what o.
CLOCK 1t Is! l've great mind to-yes; if
he wasn't so big woodland if come a.
cross little one-Pll shake Charley all to
pieces, this very night. I'll commit Unsuitable
homicide
'Ha! hap laughed Stubbs, Historically, sif
Mrs. Stubbs is up yet, she's got TO hear it.
IN give her bit of my mind. Why did she
Jet me take nomination She told me not.
know; do believe she told me so only to
make me take it. If she had advised me to
take II, she knows ] wouldn't; nothing but
contranness In these women-It's all her
iauit--its always her fault-somebody else is
continually getting me into scrape.'
And them added Stubs, savagely, swhen
I've done correcting the old woman, there's
got to be spankade. Ill rouse out every
one oil the children. Pll spank 'em till Pm
.red, and do a fathers duty by them. Thew
have been neglected this whole campaign, and
III oegin TO be parental right of the REEL
Well, continued Stubs, in soltened tone,
there's always comfort for married folks.
There's somebody at home that you can blow
up when you've a mind 10, and they can't
help themselves. Strangers wont lake il
when you feel saucy; but it's the bounden
duty OF Mrs. Stnbbs to listen and not to throw
things at me. Every body isn't liable to
slaPpage; but it's never lost on the little
Stubbs'-if 1t isn't due now they can take ii on
account. All, domestic felicity is one of the
greatest things that ever was found out, espe-
claiiy when you're not elected. Home, sweet
home-one can have row at home, and it's
nobody's business but your own
There's one thing certain at any rate said
Stubbs, ON the following morning as he pok-
ed The newspapers with the election returns
into the stove, ''ve done with politics. |
don't like being called kangaroo, and cann-
bal, and all sorts of hard names Pve been
peppeTed quite enough for one while in tina.
way. And another thing-i',n tired of fork
ing out for other peoples amusement. When
mans OH the ticket, as they call il, he is
pro bono publico'--the public bone every
thing he's got. Monev--oh, yes--money for
professions, money for flags, money for meet,
lngs, money for documents, money for news
papers-money. money all the time. But
that's not enough; if you're ION the ticket
you must work like horse, bes:des-run
round the town, and scamper over the coun-
try--get up early. 60 10 bed late, and never
get no dinner-have to keep cold potatoes in
your pocket, and eat 'em as you 90. Ketch
one bad cold top of the other bad cold, till
you're as hoarse the man with the oyster
cart, OF rainy night. And then, when YOU
feel bad yourself about it, you mustn't let on
that you feel bad, but tell Wrappers to keep
up their spirits. And at last, when your
pockets are empty-wben you're as lean as
grey hound and croak like raven-wben
your business has gone to rack and ruin :;
why, then-you're not elected, and are set
down as used up. That's the fnish.'
I've had a talk with Mrs. Stubs abont il
we've made up--and now Pm going to elect
myself to the office Of mihding my own aC-
fairs, and looking after my own shop. Me
and Mrs. Stubs are to be the United States.
and am 10 be the President thereof The
children are to be the people--they are vox
poPul, and are to hurrah and vote for me Al,
every election. Our candle light professions
shall be up and down slairs-we'll have a
town meeting every day at dinner and find
our own loaves and fishes. sPon nv word
now that NE and Mrs Stubs have concluded
not TO have hard words any more, if ! don't
begin to think that TO be beaten in an election
is sometimes just about the best thing that
could happen to fellow. 1t sort of settles
him down-pnts notions out of his head
makes Him sleep without dreaming, and sends