The northern galaxy. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1844-1848, 1845-01-08
A GUESSING INSTITUTION.

GUESSING INSTITUTION.
Nobody but Field, of the ReveilIe, al
st. Louis, or Kendall, of the Picayune
could tell such story as this, which We
copy from an exchange paper -
"a seedy son of New England found
himself recently, all alone, unknown, and
hard up in New Orleans. Of course, he
soon set about guessing some way to ge,
out ofthe scrape and, before he had
quite whitfield his stick away, he became
absorbed in the inception of a grand
thought. 1t seems, sitting down to guess
his astute brain made plunge at once
among the metaphysical and scientific
ramihcations of GUESSING; and, not long
after, he might have been observed, with
a sober sort of twinkling in his eyes,
marching off along the ''levee,' apparen
tly looking for house to let, humming
Yankee Doodle! come alongl
When fortune falls distressing.
There's nothing like Yankee song
And scientific guessing
Early next day, our hero and another
odd looking genius were seen on ladder.
mailing up broad strip of canvass all
across the front Of house on the Levee ;
and the Job being completed, there was
displayed, in flaring, sprawling, stray
CLING, broken backed, decapitated, knock
kneed, round shouldered, bow legged,
limPing letters, Roman, German, Hebrew
aaligraphic, geographic, Arabian, Ar
menlan, and Pot-hook-ian:
NUOrLEaSS GESsiNG INSTITOOT.
GEssING TAUT IN ONE LESSON.
Only 90 fire cents
The thing produced a.ensation at once
among sailors. pedlars, levee boarders, and
all sorts of stragglers. Our professor Dor
rowod an old rotton awning, hung it up.
and diviced his room.in two, put his as
slstant at the door to take in quarters,
turned Il tin cup upside down on ihe mid.
die of an old ricketty table, got vial of
vinegar, pot Of tar, a bottle of whiskey
and various other well known odoriferous
affairs arranged around Kim; and. with a
black skull cap on his head, and read
stick in dis hand, he made no bad
"splurge" at the representation of modern
Faust Madame Ludwig might have taken
i lesson from him, ('you understand me
now!) and Herr Alexander should have
seen him. He drewa mystic ring Oh the
ceiling with charcoal, filling it up with
..,.-. ;,Jo.c-;hoI,I, sfcnrlorueD r;cLt oror
the table, and business soon commenced.
In struggled an open-mouthed inquirer
after the mysteries of guessing.
"Stranger, good morning; walk up and
prescribe yourself as true inquirer after
the irrevelations ofGesseology. Put your
left hand upon the converted tin cup.
Very well Lift your right hand to the
ceiling, and fix your eyes upon the mag
ic circle. So. Now, if you wink, or re-
move your eye, you'll ruin the hol BUSH
ness, stranger; so, just,hold still. Now l
percede provoke the guessing spirit to
descend upon you. What is this hold
under your nose u
Vinegar"
"Crimini lingo !. you learn fast what's
this?
"That's tar"
Fright again, my pupil what's this p
birthstone
Good you envelope the faculty really,
really amazon ! can you guess what this
is ~
"Whiskey, by thunder!''
call creation how quick you take
it are YOU sure it's whiskeyl"
"Sure well reckon p
"Youd better taste, and see. Is it wits.
key"
"WeIl it is"
Take good swig then; you'll do, siran-
ger;-you're ready TO graduate. Come in
next. Halo mister, don't take that bottle
away"
One after another, as fast as he could dis
pose of them, the Professor found his custom
ers sideling half slyIy in upon him all day
hibit beligerant spirit, between good humor
and whiskey, the New England Magician still
managed to send him OFF satisfied. Every
body coming out was questioned by the ca
ger crowd in waiting, as TO "what sort Of a
show it was any how :" and the answer was
pretty generally the same: First rate, and
no mistake, and the last experiment is worth
half the money"
The Professor counted his receipts that
night, finding round sum TO help him on
West; sold his s'institoot'' for premium TO
his enterprising assistant, and next morning
he was of, jinglng the silver in his pocket,
and blessing devoutly the benefits of science
SHINING AND FORGIvING.