Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1845-09-11
Hum mors of Politics.

Wings have perpe'rared practical joke on him
by running him for Congress. He takes 1t in
good part, however, and enters so heartily into
the spiri. of the thing that 1t is really "as good
a. play" He throws ouI each week new
manifesto to the constituency, giving strong rea-
sons why he should be chosen, cevery pu'
together that they must like hlm as candidate,
if not as Congressman. Here is his latest:
TEN REASONS WHY I SHOULD BE ELECTED.
l. Because, | am not troublesome 10 the dear
people--never was a candidate before for any
ofice-and never asked for crumb from the
public crib in all my life
H. Because have been serving the public
all my life al my own expenses, as Parson,
uniting together man and wife, especially run.
aways, Tree of charges; a. an Editor a stump
orator, and leader in all The political contests
of the age!
Ill. Because have not called the honest
people out from their work. under preIence
of making speeches, like my opponent. solely
10 get home with some Of them and sponge up
on Them, because they live better than we poor
dogs do in these filthy little towns, it has been
grea, cross 10 me, big eater as | am, TO stay
away from the cool milk and butter, and beau
lful spring houses in the counlry-aue the
greedy dog against whom | run could not with
stand The temptation
" Because lam naturally clever sort of a
fellow---whole- -souled, real go-ahead man, lib
eral, willing TO divide the las, cent with NOR
tai, or even The last hoe c1ke---and no, above
mixing with my equals and superors. because
they have wool hats and tow breehes on, and
no shoes These are my sorl of men, and
don't care who knows il!
V. Because if elected. would cause this
District TO have more character and fame than
ever Wise's, Pey'on's, SANKEY'S, or any body
ese's ever had | would make the noisy world
forget there ever was such State as Buncombe.
The papers would speak Of nolhng bu. "Brown-
low and the first Congressional District Of Ten
neSSee~ And il would make even Tennes-
see Democrat proud 10 be in the Capital al
Washington, and hear stranger ask, What
tall, sharp nosed, big moulhed. keen-eyed man
is that speaking there. who cuts to the quick, and
has more uoice than every man in the house -
when the answer would be, THAT is BroDn-
low of Tennessee !" Only think of it
VI. Because, if elected, the district would
be rid of the scandal of Infdelity, and all the
churches would have friend and representa-.
tive there. True, differ with some as 10 the
details of the thing, but then, in the great mat
,ers of Faith and Practice, we agree 10 frac-
ton.
VII. Because am liberal man--none Of
your mlsers or note shavers-and would spend
all my wages in purchasing Tracts, Almanacs'
Newspapers, Pamphlets and Pictures--and un-
der my frank, free of charges, | would food this
District with lhem-sending them into every
mans cabin and causing the women and chill
dren 10 laugh during The long winter nights, I'LL
they split their sides
VIII. Because, if elected, will have law
passed to do away with all party names-io re-
quire all parties TO make iriends---and TO unite
us all as we used 10 be, under the good old name
of Republican Democratic Wing American Free
men adopting as our creed. Religion, General
Poilics, Good Eating and Drinking, Pretty
Women, Smart Children, the United States,
Oregon, Texas, East Tennessee. United States
Bank paper aud Gold aud Silver.
TX. Because, If elected now, my chance Is
good for the nomination TO The Presidency, In
| S4S--and what an honor it would be to this
Distric. 10 furnish President In giving out
he Offices, | would first furnish every man IN
his Dis,ric, who had voted for me, so that this
District would then rule the NaIlon, just as IL
should
X. Because i, would be disgrace to ihis
District. and TO this Stale, if not TO the Union,
IN have me beaten. and sent into the shades ol
private life Only think of II! Come boys.
one and all, cut loose FROM the leaders Of both