Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1845-05-10
An ORIGINAL Joker 4DowN EAsT.p

AN ORIGINAL JOKER "D0WN EAST
One ode NoSby' u i~acetious correspondent OF
The New Orleans "Picayune," relates the fol-
lowing anec1ote ola singular genius known as
Johnny L." at Digby's.-Spirit Of the
Times.
l was rash enough on the first of the month
to so into the country to live, scduced by
Ralph Waldo Emicrson's laudation of Spring,
and am heartily sick of it. for the wind has
been ON a blow ever since, and, like q big baby,
made u childs rattle of everything he could
lay his hands to, from a ''hucklcberry" bush
up to am orthodox meeting house. But there
Is one co~nsolauon; my hens nest is SO arran-
ged that the eggs fall directly from the fowl
into my skillet OF hot water; consequently l
eat them fresher, perhaps, than they do at
some boarding houses, where the landladies
appear TO believe that they are not fit TO cook
until they have attained the hdut govt. Or,
perhaps, they keel them until they are cheap
enough TO eat, on the same principle that
"John L." (of whom so many queer sto-
rics arc told) kept his fish. "Johnny" was
9 seen carrying home a piece Of fresh salmon at
D a time when il was u dollar a pound; he was
| asked why he didn't wait until it was cheaper?
e "Aha!" replied Johnny, 81 know what I'm
$ about. shall put it in my ice chest, and
t when it gets down to twenty cents apomd, ]
shall eat III"
oiAsih Id kho sdliC otlth WIN y q itEh'
& that the rats might see to go into his trap
y and when asked by the painter what let.
y ter he would have put on the PANEL OF hi
o carriage, preferred w, because he thought i
o the best looking in the whole alphabet. H
e once marked up the prices of his goods in
l dull season, and when he had finished the jol
went home and told his wife he had made
thousand dollars by the operation-forgettin
that the merchandise yet remained to be sold
e Told, once, that his store was on fire; he sal,
it couldn't be, for he had the key in his pocket
and he ID said to have ordered a huge thermom
eter to regulate the weather, and locked hi
door to keep the heat out. When he ha
e killed his pig, he sagely remarked, that 81
didn't weigh as much as he expected. and h
to never thought it would" He sold half of h
is porker to a ~neighbor; but it was a questio
how it should be divided, after cutting
as across in the middle. The neighbor propose
It that L. should put his hand unseen by hi
ON one extremity or the other, and he'd sa
ill without knowing what it was, whether he
he have IT or not. Johnny consented, and Sigh
ly cutting off the pigs curly Terminate
nd when his friends back was turned, stuck it
of the nose, and demanded, "Who shall ha'
III, the part with the tail on?' al" exclaim,
Id the other triumphantly. "Then you have &
ell the fore-quarters!" said Johnny. On anoth
nix occasion, some waggish butchers i'm the mark
%. BNiou"oNu ihih NoulU iHploNt tuC lOo
lot of his favorite dog to cut his tail shorter.
en- Johnny assentcd, but fearing to trust the q
- Grafton to any of the ways, he got them "a m
u the animal while he acted as su~rgeutated I
EAR said he wanted only a very littlg very NIGEL
"begin with" After calocd the cleaver; a
to where to strike, Johnp1chers showed the do
use the same moment the knife had fallen, tn
nc, along, so thatd that he had severed his cur
RS. poor maP,ereupon he protested, in perie'
w tvalS, that cit was a little too short, by
idldNd sight"