American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1845-05-17
From the London Punch
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.

From the London Punch.]
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
M Calidle has been ,chispering Nth The Maid
Mrs. G.. jealous and indignant
A pretty pass things have come to, MIR. eau
die Men won't know who are their own wives,
by and by. So, your Skylarks are not enough
to take your attention from your wife, but you
must be saying soft thiRgs to our maid Of all
work! You say you didnW say you did
You needn't think to deceive me, Caudle. |
see it all. know you too well. lt's a burn
ing shame, SO 1t is, that you, the father of a
lovely family, and the husband of devoted
wife, should whisper to the maid. But you did,
Mr.. Caude. l-say-you-did. You didn't?
Was ever man so decelttui? What is your
word worth, Mr.. Caudle, when you lie right
into my face? But the maid shall bulge.
won't keep her another day. She shall 60, bag
and baggage, if have to do all her work my
self Lord knows | work hard enough as it 49,
But won't have that wench about the house.
Poor girl, you say Well, there now, that is
as much as to own it. You wouldn't say poor
girl, MIR. Caudle, if you wasn't in love with her.
It's no USE | see how it is. Poor girl, indeed!
! should like to know who is to support poor
girls, who don't know where they belong, or
how to behave themselves. We women work
and drudge, Just to see our maids of work do
nothing but whisper with our husbands. But
III not endure it, Caudle. You say hold my
tongue7 No, l'll not hold my tongue! A pref
ty figure should make holding my tongue,
and you whispering all the time with my maid.
tell you again, it's no use for you to deny
it. see the guilt in your face; or should sec
it, if there was light in the room. The more
shame you, for blowing out the candle so long
before you got into bed. Men don't blow out
candles unless they have something to be
ashamed of. But I'll not endure it. I'll 90
home to my mother, Mr.. Caudle. No won't.
I'll discharge that maid first. Poor girl, again!
Do you say that, Caude' You would provoke
a saint. But III have my revenge. l'll tear
the house down about your ears. Well see
then who'll whisper TO the maid Nothing
good comes of whispering. | should like to
know what honest folks nave to whisper about.
don't ,chisper You may well say that. In
deed don't. wish could speak with thun-
der! You wouldn't pretend to sleep, then. I'd
wake all the sleep out of you.
And next we shall have an elopement.-
Don't say fool, MIR. Caudle. Nobody's fool
except for marrying you. say we shall have
an elopement, and you'll be put in all the pa
pers. Richard Caudle, Esquire, gone off with
his servant maid, leaving lovely and discon-
ISOLATE wife and three children. The maid not
handsome, either. say not handsome, Mr..
Caude. Wouldn't that be a fine story for the
rising generation TO read? You say yeu WiA
,elope if | don't hold nay tongue? say you shan't
elope-and won't hold my tongue. lbs not
often that use 1t, goodness knows. lll watch
you. I'll follow you to the ends of the earth,
like poor, patient, abused wife as am. But
you shan't go. I'll tear the girls eyes out first.
And you shan't go TO sleep, either You only
make believe sleep. | know when a mans
asleep. You needn't snore so, for don't hear
it. don't snore. don't sn-sno-re-
Here Mrs. Caudes clam shell closed from
very WEAKNESS, and size slept.
Mr.. Caudle has pentured 10 insin,tate that Mrs
c. better not run abroad so much. Mrs. eau
die flares up"
Mr. Caudle, it would try the patience of a
saint. G. abroad too much you might as well
say that, if | staid out with the Skylarks, OF
other precious fellows, till midnight, spending
more than earned. But il is Just so, always
with poor women. She must be slave, end
found fault with besides. When | am dead
Mr.. Caudle, and shant live long-when am
dead, you unfeeling man, then you will have
this to reflect upon. Don't tell me you'd be
sorry te have me die Idon't believe it. You
would be glad, you know you would. Then
you could marry some firt of girl, who would
not bear with our errors, as ! have. DON'T
tell me Pm good girl, and You love me. You
act as though you do Once you did. Then
l was your dear Margaret, your honey, your
sweet love; now you tumble into bed at any
time of night, and if just venture to say that
/ don't like it, you 60 to sleep before finish
the sentence, you do. Ca sdle you're wretch;
and if ever | catch you marrying any of these
faunty things about town to be mother to my
children, I'll haunt the house till she leaves it.
What! you don't mean to marry a second time!
Don't tell me that you unfeeling man. 1t is
lust as much as to say lead you such life
that you dare not. Don't say to me you won't
marry again. Have you no regard for your
family; for my tender children, that will be
motherless and almost iatherless-for Pm sure
its seldom the sweet things will see you. eau
die, if you don't marry again when Pm dead
If You don't provide mother for my darl-
ings, III haunt you till you die will as Pm
prudent Christian.
What! do you say you'll marry again before
die, ifit will please mel You wicked man.
shouldn't wonder if you were to fall out of bed
am afraid to sleep with you, for fear we shall
be swallowed up. What are you doing, Mr.
Caudle? getting out of bed! Don't tell me it's
to relieve my fears! It's no snch thing. It's
to go and swill with that Prettyman. Don't be
dance, SIT! Get into bed again, or won'
live with you another day. l'll 90 home tC
mothers, and pine in solitude; and die a victim
to your treatment. Once it was not so. Yol
used to say, my dear Mrs. Caudle, | fear yol
shut yourself up too much at home, you vii
bring on a decline and early death ana thcI