Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1845-01-16

1 that suits me; but somehow or other.
always get outside--wrong side--r'oiher
side--downside, instead OF upside" and
Peleg sighed beside, as be resolved that
he would exercise the utmost judgment
on the occasion, which was about to pre-
sent itself, that be might arrive '.this side
up with care" for once in his life, and
| have a lucrative side at last. Ii not, he
would be beside hisself.
Men ask me what think of this can.
didate and bis principles, AMI of that can
didate and his principles. Stuff what
do the candidates think of psleg w. Pom
der and his principlesi Which of them
is the most sensible man, and thinks me
good fat Office and big arm chair
the thumpingest sslary and pleaty OF
other people to do the work, while cut
my name on the table with knife that l
didn't have TO buyi Hes the right kind
OF Ran--he thinks to the purpose; and
liz was sure he'd be elected, I'd vote for
him as often as they would LET me, and
ask no questions.
ali had only thought of il 10 time, !
would have organized myself into town
meeting and appointed nyself as Com
mittee Of Correspondence, TO write to the
candidates to ask them their sentiments.
No voting 10 the dark Tor me. What's
your candid opinion, public or private, of
the claims OF Peleg w. Ponder upon this
great republic--what do you think his
services are worth and, 10 case of your
election, what do you pledge yourself to
give him, no back out, and no dojging
round the corner?"
Slowly sauntered Peleg to the election
ground; for Timpklns and Simpkins-
both sides--had promised TO come for him
10 case that he did not appear at the polls
in the course Of the morning. Peleg
stopped at al the head quarters, and took
tickets from every body who offered him
one, until his pockets were quite FULL
indeed. he carefully read each ticket, as
il was thrus, into his hand, and asked
whether they were quite sure i was right.
He studied all the placards, as II he sought
to relieve his mind by he recreations Of
light literature, and by the graces Of elias.
steal composition: and he nearly winked
his eye out, by working his visual optics
right and left, TO the leaders Of party, to
convince them all round that Peleg w.
Ponder is the man TO be relied on al a
pinch.
"Ail this is nice enough" SAID Ponder,
ga man don't require side for this sort
OF busness-but what shall DO when
60 TO the window--how them
"Hurrah, there, Ponder!" cried Simp.
kins and Timpkins in breath, as each Of
them. with hostile ticket and conflicting
placards. rushed joyousiy towards the
doubter.
"Ths is the ticket" exclaimed Simp-
kins.
"Oh, 60 'way--ihs is the ticket that
Ponder always votes, dead or alive isn't
it, Ponderl" added 1impkins.
"Nonsense! - Ponder knows that this
ticket is the only one warranted to save
the republic, without salt" said Simp-
kins.
"Ponder's no fool, though you think
him one--if this ticket is not carried, the
country might list as we'll be set fite to,
and no injines to play upon IT,"
"Without US, the grass Won't grow"
"And if we don't get in, THAT'S all the
grass will haveto do-there won't be any
use for hay, never no more"
"rhieves !" said Simpkins, in a rage.
"Robbe.s!" rejoined Timpkins, in a
fury.
"Swiudlers and deluders!" cried Simp.
kns.
"Rascals and ruffiansl" added limp.
kins.
"Don't believe 'em, Ponder--fibs, false.
hoods AID fam !"
"Noi word OF truth in any thing they
say--all calumnlation and bamboozle-
ment"
| "Genilemen, gentlemen, be cool,
chimcd in Ponder; upon my soul, if
don't believe you both--it takes me TO be
impartial, and to have equal faith in
TGmpkins and Smpkins--Timpkns is
right, and Simpkins is right. That's the
way make myself agreeable 10 every
body. Tmpkins says Simpkins is a
rogue. Very good. S.mpkins says that
Tmpkins is rascsl.-~Just SO. There
is proof that each of you wants to ruin
the country. Perfectly proper. IL one
den'i get in, the grass won't grow; and
if the other don't get IN, there will be no.
body to use The grass il it does grow
Right both ways-6r rate fellows; eve.
ry which way, according to your own
showing. Now, then, which side is go.
ing to win y
"Oursr' shouted both.
"Bet you hat"
GA suit of clothes !"
"Oyster supper for sikh
"a champagne blow out for nine
swapping turtles aud venlson steaks!'
1.-TWO TO onei"
"Ten to onel"
"Hundred 10 one!"
nAA Eve got---wIfe, children, every
thing-myself into the bargain!"
"Wouldn't have you, nor none Of your
party, for Christmas gift"
"if lived in the same street with ma
-. ,,,h tallnus ne vaur side I'd NOVA