Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1845-10-23
A RELIGIOUS MAULING.
HOW THE MOUNTAIN BLACKSMITH
WAS CONNERTED.

ne scene IS ldiQ In the Hlpuutatuuds
regions Of Georgia. Mr. Forgerou,a black
smith, had a great anupathy against ell
ministers, and the Methods, ministers es.
peclally. HIS shop was in narrow
mountain pass, and he declared his deter.
minaton to whip every Methodist prea.
cher that passed his shop. The threat he
had so often executed, that the circuit
vas dreaded by the preachers, and II was
with some difficulty that one was found
to fl, it. The Rev. Mr.. Stubbleworth,
however, readily consented to 60 there,
and the following describes his ride
through the mountains.
Forgeron had heard of his new victim,
and rejoiced that his size and appearance
furnishd a better subject for his vengeance
than the at.enuated frame OF the late par
SOP. Oh, what nice beuling be would
have! lie had heard, too, that some
Methodist ministers were rather spirited,
and hoped that this one might prove so,
that he might provoke him TO fight. Know.
ine that the clergyman must pass on Sat
urday in the afternoon, he gave his sr-
ker holiday, and reclining on bench, re.
called hjmselfonthe beauties Tom Pane,
awaiting The approach OF The pr acher.
1t was not over an hour before he head
the words:
'How happy are they who their Saviour obey,
And have laid up their treasure above,
sung in full, clear voice and soon the
vocalist, turning the angle Of the rock,
rode up, with con,ented smile on his
face.
Glow are you, old slabsidesl Get off
OF your horse, and join in my devotion"
said the blacksmith.
al have many miles to rlde," answered
the preacher, "and | hav'nt time, my
friend7 I'll call as ! return"
"Your name is Stubblewofib, and you
are the trifling hypocri.e the Methodlsts
have sent here to preach, Ell =
"My name is StubbIeworth," he replied
meekly.
"Did'nt you know my name was Ned
Forgeror, the blacksmith, what whips ev-
cry Methodist preacher that goes through
look sand how dare you come here 7"
The preacher replied that he had heard
Forgeron's name, but presumed he did
no, modest we'll behaved travellers.
"You presume SOL Yes, you are the
most preSumpIuous people, you Meiho-
dis,s, ,hst ever trod shoe leather, anyhow.
Well, what'l you do, you betf.headed dis
ciple you"
Mr.. Stubbleworth proiessed his willing
ness TO do any thing reasonable 10 avoid
such penance.
"Well there's three things yol have to
do, OF III maui you into a Jelly. The
first is, you are TO qui, preaching; the sec
oud is you must wear this last will and
testament Of Thomas Paine next TO your
heart, read it every day, and believe every
word you read: and the third rs, that you
are to curse the Melhodists IN every crowd
you get ;nto"-and the blacksmith ''shuch-
ed" himself, rolled up his sleeves, aud
took quld Of tobacco.
The preacher looked on during these
novel preparations, without line of his
face moving, and at the end replied that
the terms were unreasonable, and that he
would not submit 10 them.
"Well, you have got whaling to sub
init to, then. III tear you into doll rags
corner ways! Get down you cussed long
faced hypocrite ~
The preacher demonstrated, and Forgeron,
walk ing up to his horse, threatened 10 tear
him off Il he did not dismount; whereupon,
the worthy man made virtue Of neces-
sty, and aighted
81 have but one request TO make, my
friend; that is, that you won't beat me
with this overcoat on; it was present
from the ladies Of my last circuit, and |
do not wish to have II torn"
"OT with II, and that suddenly, you
basin.laced imp you!'
The Methodist preacher slowly drew of
his overcoai, as the blacksmith conunu-
ed bis TRADE Of abuse on himself and his
sect, and throwing the garment behind
him, he dealt Mr.. Forgerou tremen.
dous blow between tie eyes. which laid
that person al foil length on tie ground
with the testament Of fom Paine beside
him. The Rev. Mr.. Stubbleworth, with
the tact Of conuoisseur in such matters,
did not wait for his adversary 10 rise, but
mounted hun with the qaickness OF cat,
aud bestowed his blows with courteous
hand on the stomach and face ofthe black
smith, continuing his song where he had
left off on his arrival at the smtthy-
Tongue cannot express the sweeteomiorI and peace
OF soul IN its earliest love,
until Forgeron, from having experienced
First love, "or some other sensation equal
ly new to him, responded lusu'y Enough!
'nough! take him Off" But unfortunate
ly there was no one by to perform that
kind office, except the preachers old roam,
and he maunched bunch Of grass, and
looked on as quietly as if his master was
happy at camp meeting.
Now" said Mr.. Stubbleworth, there
are three things you must promise me
before let you up"
"What are they 2" asked Forgsron,
eagerly.
"The first is, that you will never mo-
lest a Methodist preacher again."
Here Ned's pride rose, and he hesta.