Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1845-02-17

A Terrible Time.-"Wal, there's row
over there to our house,
.'What on airth's the matter, you little
sarpin,7"
"Why, dads drunk, mothers dead, the
old cow has got a calf, SAILS got married and
run away with the spoons, Pete has swallerd
a pin, and Luke's looked at the Aurora
Borax till his got the delirim triangles. That
amt all nurther."
s'What else upon airthY s
'.Rose split the batter pot and broke the
pancakes. and one Of the Maltese kittens
has got her head into the molasses cup and
couldn't get it out, and Q, hoo, boo, how
hungry | amp
SAN SLICK AND THE WoMEN.-ln the
last Of Sam Slick in England, we find the
following aphorism relative to the ladies -
"AinA it curious squire, weddins is never
out of woman's heads. They never think
Of nothing else. A young gall is always
thinkin of her own; as soon as she is mar
ried, she is matchsmakin for her companions,
and when she i. little grain Older, her
darter's weddin's upPsrmost agin. Oh it
takes great study TO know woman-how
cunnin' they are! Ask a young gall tho
news, and she'll tell you Of all the deaths in
the place, to make you think she don't
trouble herself about marriages. Ask an
old 'oman, she'll tell you of all the marriages,
to make 700 think she is takin an interest
in the world that she amt, They saEtaiHfy
do beat all, do women"
The MURDERER OF YoUNG CooMDs.
1t appears that the quarrel between young
Coombs and O'Blennis originated about
dog! Coombs had s,udiously insulted
O'Blennis. The latter warned him not to
pass his door. Coombs d.sregarded the
warning, was pursued BY O'Blennis, and shot
as before stated. The Picayune says rhat
O'Blennis had attempted 10 bribe the tuyp-
key of the prison in New Orleans, where he
was confined, to connive his escape. The
man took the bribc ($a50) but reported the
fact 10 the head of the police. O'Blennis
was then more closely confined. and suisse
quently sent 10 Point Coupee, where the
murder was committed.
ELEcrloNsrN OLDEN TIME-It was the
law Of Massachusetts, in the year l64S, that
"for the yearly choosing of Assistants (now
Senatorsl the sreemeR shall use Indian corn
and beans. The Indian corn 10 manifest
election, the beans contrary and if any free
man shall put in more than one Indian corn
OF bean far the choice or refusal of any pub
lie officer, he shall forfeit, for such offence,
ten pounds" &c. The. usual election cry
..to the polls "!'-'ro the pollsw which we
@ol ,,,,tl, IL
party vo,ing,beans; and was, by no means.
an inappropriate eXordium to preparation
for the contest.
The Rov. DR.. Brisbane, Of Cincinnati,
sen, his paper TO Baptist Clergyman at
the South whom he had bap,ised into tho
Church. The pieus brother returns for an
swer, that he will cowhide the Doctor for
the insult
How DID IT GET 7nEREs-Ths Bangor
Courier says that Walter Hasty, Of Linn
ington, Me, few days since, found q cent
embedded in the middle Of an ox's liver.
The liver was entirely enclosed around the
cent, and imprimt- of the lostors uvvu
upon the parts with which they had been
in contact. F.,
Mr.. Toppan, Of a certain town down east,
wcs great gormandizer; so was his neigh
Dor, Mr.. Quimby. One day the friends of
the parties laid wager upon their respec-
tive appetites. A dinner was provided, and
these gentlemen after due course of train.
ing, sat down TO decide it. A person on bis
from it, and inquired how matters stood?
They are hard at it," said he, Sand when
| left, Toppan was a turkey and t,vo chick
ems ahead"-&. Louis American.
FUNNY SocIETY.-A number of crusty
old bachelors of Philadel phia, have organ
lied an association, the oscnsble object of
which is TO correct public opinion of The abb
surdity of carrying I" little 'uns" where they
are not wanted. 1t is called "The anti-ta-
ing-Bab;es-inio- publc-assembles-S
Well, it cries aloud for remedy!
A SIMPLE RULE-To ascertain tho
length of,he day and the night at any time
in the year, double the time Of the Suns
rising, which gives the length of the night;
double the time Of setting, which gives the
length of the day. !.
A FACT-lt is the man thatmakes the
most morse that secures the attention of the
world. A silent elephant may remain UNI
observed amid the foliage of the wood; but
croaking bull-fiog is sure TO attract at
tention in the dlrkcs: night,
IMPORTANT RourE.-We perceived bv
a Jackseaburg, Michigan paper, that COM
pany has sent petition TO the Legislature
of that State, offering to improve for $780,
O05, the Grand RIVER fom its mouth to
Jacksonbnreh, so that steamboats, can navi-
gate the same. They include in the offer,
the building steamboat, and agree 10 give
good security for the fu!illment on their part.
There is no doubt Of the feasibility efthlsl
route, and when completed, will form an
important link in the route FROM the "Great
West" to "Down Eas'." Il will form d.
rect steamboat roa,e from Milwaukee to
Jacksonburgh, Is miles from Detroit, and
reducing the distance from Milwaukee to
Detroit TO twenty-four hours. ride.
ROMANCE sroILED.--h is said that
Miss. Irene Nichols, +" the poor but beauti-
fid Factory Girl" did not many the Mex
can President Herrera, as was stated by the