Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1845-04-29

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that tempted them to this violation of the
Jurisdiction of Brazil in her own port.
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
On Mr.. CdudiG's Shirt buttOns
"Therc, MIR. Caudle, l hope you're i'm a lit
Tie better temper than you were this morning?
There-you needn't begin to whistle; peop[e
don't come to bed to whistle. Butts like
you. i can't speak, that YOU don't try In in
suit me.-Once, l used to say. YOU were the
best creature living, now, you get quite a fiend.
do let you rest? No, | won't let YOU rest
It's the only time l have to talk to you. and
you shall hear me. I'm put on all day long:
it's very hard il i can't speak a word at night.
and 1T isn't often i open my mouth, goodness
knows!
Because once in your lifetime your shirt
wanted a button, you must almost swear the
roof oil the house You didn't swear? Ha.
MIR. Caudie you don't know what you do
when you're in a passion. You were NOT i'm q
passion, wem't you? Well, then. | don't
know what a passion is-and | think | ought
by TINS time. I've lived long enough with
you, MIR. Caudle, to know that.
lis a pity you havn't something worse to
complain of than a button off Won shirt. II
you'd some wives, you would | know. I'm
sure m never without needle and thread i'm
my hand. What with you and the children.
I'm made a perfect slave of. And what's nv
thanks! Why, if once i'm your life n buttons
off your shirt-what do you cry "oh" al? saw
once, Mr.. Caudle, or twice, or three times. at
most. I'm sure, Caudle, no mans buttons i'm
The world are better looked after than yours.
l only wish I'd kept the shirts YOU had when
you were first marriedr ] should like to know
where were your buttons then?
"ies, 1t is worth talking of! But that's
how you always try to put me down. You
hy ihto a rage, and then If only try to speak
you won't hear me. That's how Won men
always will have all the talk to Yourselves: n
poor woman isn't allowed to geta word in.
"A nice notion you have Of a wife, to sun
pose she's nothing TO think of but her husbands
buttons, a pretty notion, indeed, YOU have
oil marriage. Ha! if poor women only knew
what they had to 90 through! What with
buttons, and one thing and another! they'd
never tie themselves up to the best man in the
world, I'm sure.
What would they do, Mr.. Caudle? WHY.
do much better without you, I'm certain.
"Andit'smy belief, after all. that the hutton
wasn't of the shirt; it's my belief that Won
pulled 1t oil, that you might have something 10
taik ABOUT. Oh, you're aggravating enough,
when you ike, for anything! All / know is
its very odd that the button should be off tbq
shlrt; Tor I'm sure no woman's a greater slave
To her husbands buttons than | am. onl {
say, it's very odd. '
there's the comfort: il can't last
long, I'm worn to death with your temper
ana Sl'an | trouble you "a great while. Ha, YOU
may laugh! Andl dare say YOU would Ia,iohi
We no doubt oft That's your love-thst's
your iGellng! know that I'm sinking every
DAY, though say nothing about it.. And
Wieh m gone, we shall see how your second
vile VIII look after your buttonsl You'll find
out the difference, then. Yes, Caudle. youII
think OF me, then; for then, | hope. you'll never
nave a blessed button TO your back.
NO, I'm not "a yindictive woman. Mr.
Caudle; nobody ever called me that, but Won.
What 10 you say? Nobody ever knew so
much oil me! That's nothing at all, to do with
it. Ha l wouIdn't have your aggyayat;no
temper, Caudte, for mines ofgold. lisa good
ming I'm not as worrying as you are-or q
nice house theTod BIZ between MS. only
wish you'd had wife that would have talked
TO you! then you'd have known the diGe
But you impose upon mc, because. like a moor
TOOL, ! say nothingr / should be ashamed of
myself, Caudle.
"Anda pretty example you set as a father !
you'll make your boys as bad as yourself
talking as you did all breakfast time about
your buttons! And OH a Sunday morning. tool
And youcall yourself a Christianl | sRould
IKE 10 know what your boys will say of Won
when they grow up And all about a paitry
button OIL one OF your wristbands a de cont
man wouldn't have mentioned IT,. Whv
WON'T hold my tongue? Because / won't
mold my tongue. Tin to- have my peace of
Inind destroyed-Im to be worried into my
grave Tor a miserable shirt button. and I'm IN
hold my tongue! Oh! but that's lust like Won
men!
" But know what I'll do for the future
Every button you have may dmp ofT. and I
won so much as puta thread to 'em. And |
should IKE to know what you'll do then {?
On you must get somebody else To- sew 'em
must YOU Ihatsa pretty threat for a husband
20 mold out to a vile! And to such a wife as
! We been, too; such a negro slave to- your but
IONS as may say! Somebody else to sevv
en-, Ell No, Caudle, no: not while Pm
alive! When I'm dead-and with what /
nave to bear there's no knowing how soon
mat may bc-when I'M dead, / say-Oh what
a brute you must be TO sDore so!
: You're not snoring? Ha! that's what you
always say; but that's nothing to do with il, |
iOu must get somebody else to- sew 'em must !
YOU lila! shouldn't wonder, Oh no ri
should be surprised at nothing, now Moth.
ing az all It's what people have always told
M " WOHld come tO-and now. Che buttons
nave opened my eyes! MIR. Caudle-aierthe
wuelVe beeu toyou. Somebody else. indeed.
70 sew your buttons I'm no longer to mo
mistress IN my OWL house Ha. Candle
Woaidn have upon my conscience what vou
nave lot uhe world! It's YOU. Mr.. C,u1le
VINO are mad, OF bad-and that's yyorse I III
can even so much as speak of = sbirt hutton d
Dat tiat I'm threatened to h. made nolssJ~ ~