Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1845-08-08
Mrs. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
Mr.. Ca,IdIe has not acted "Eke husbaad'' at
the Fielding Dinner.

All me! It's no use Westinghouse at all:
but do wish that yesterday IA years could |
come back again. Little did | think, Mr. !
Caudle, when you brought me home from
church, your lawful welded wife-little, !
say, did think that | should keep my we'd |
ding dinner in the manner have done to-day.
Fourteenyears ago! Yes, ! see You now in your
blue coat with bright buttons, and your white
Watered satin Wastcoat, and moss rosebud in
! your buttonhole, which you said was like me.
! What? You ncUer tailed such nonsense ? Ha.
Mr.. CaudIe. you don't know what yon talked
that day; but do. Yes {; and YOU then sat
at the table as if your face, as [ may say, was
buttered with happiness, and-What9 No,
Mr.. Candle, don't say that; have not wiped
the butter off-not |. If you above all men
are not happy, you ought to be, gracious
knows
yes, | acN talk of fourteen years ago. Ha!
!. you sat beside me then, and picked out all
sorts of nice things for me. You'd have Civ
en- me pearls and diamonds to eat if | could
have swallowed 'em. Yes, say, you sat be.
side me, and-What dosyou talk about g
You couldn't SIT beside me to-dny2 That's
nothing at all to do with it. But it's so like
yon. | can't speak but you fly off to some
thing else. Ela and when the health of
young couple was drunk, what speech you
made then! 1t was delicious! How you
made every body cry, if their hearts were
breaking; and | recollect it as if it was yes
terday, how the tears ran down dear fathers
nose. and how dear mother nearly went into
a fit! Dear souls! They little thought with
all your fine talk, how you'd use me! HOao
hare you used me2 Oh, Mr.. Caudle, how
can you ask that question! It's we'll for you
| can't see you blush. HOw have you used
me!
well, that the same tongue could make
speech like that, and then talk as it did to-day!
HoW did you taH2 Why, shamefulIy. What
did you say about your welded happiness 3
Why, nothing. What did you say about your
wife! Worse than nothing: just as if she
were a bargain you were sorry for, but were
Obliged to make the best Of. What do you
say? find bod's the bcSt2 If you say that
again, Caude, I'll rise from my bed. 70"
didn't say i2 What, then, did you say =
Something very like it, know. Yes, pref
ty speech of thanks for d husband And eve
ry body could see that you didn't care pin
for me; and that's why you invited 'em, to
insult me to their faces, What? Imade yot'
= Unite 'cm2 Oh, Caude, what an aggraVatlng
man you are
y, Il suppose You'll say next that made you
. invite Miss Prettyman2 Oh yes; don't tell
me that her brother brought her without your
knowing it. What? Didn't Ihenr linn sag
500 OF course | did; but do you suppose lu
quite fool? DO you think don't know thai
- that was all settled between you and she
must be a nice person to come unasked &c
woman's house? But l know why sh'
came. Oh yes; she came to look about her
IThnt do ! mean? Oh, the meanings plal1
enough. She came to see how she shouit
like the rooms-how she should like my sea
- at the Fireplace; how she-and If 1t lnsn'
enough IT, break mothers heart to be treated
so how she should like my dear children
Now it's no use for your bouncing abon
at-but of course that's it; can't mention
Miss Prettyman, but you fling about as if yo
were in fit. Ofcourse THAI shows that there
s, something in 1t. Otherwise, why should yo
disturb yourself! Do you think didn't Sc
her looking at the cyphers on the spoons as
she already saw mine scratched out and her
there! No. shant drive you mad, Mr.. eau
die and if | do it's your own fault. NO othe
man would treat the wife of his bosom in
o what do you say? You might as tceH hui
married hedgehog? Well, now it's come
something! But It's always the case! Vine
ever you've seen that Miss PIct1yman, II
IDS sure to be abused. hedgehog! Pret
thing for woman to be called by her nus
band! Now you don't think I'll lie quletI
. IN bed, and be called hedgehog--do you, M
Caude!
well, only hope Miss Prettyman had
rood dinner. that's all. had none! 70
. knew had none how was l to get any :
You know that the only part of the turkey
care for is the merry thought And that,
I course, went to Miss Prettyman. Oh, sa
st you laugh when you put it on her plate An
:, you don't suppose, after such an insult as tina
- I'd taste another thing upon the table! N
: | should hope have more spirit than that
Yes; and you took wine with her four time
What did you say? Only t'0ice2 On, 20
were so lost-fascinated, Mr.. CaudIe ; We
fascinated-that you didn't know what yo
did. However. do think while Pm alive
mirht be treated with respect at my own t.
BILE. l say, while I'm alive; fol- know
"a shan't last long, and then Miss Piettyma
I'd NAV come and take it all. I'm wasting da
tv Ily, and no wonder. never say anythr
about it, but every week my gowns are TAXI
in.
Give lived to learn something to be sure
Miss Prettyman turned up her nose at my Gu
tards. 1t isn't sufficient that you're alwa.
finding fault yourself, but you must bring W
men home to sheer at me at my own table,
What do you say? She didn't turn up Il
rose2 | know she did; not but what II
bia needless-Providence has turned 1t up qul
enough for her already. And she must 81
herself airs over my custards! Oh, saw
mincing with the spoon as if she was che
ing sand. What do you say? She praised n
9 pIImb-pudding2 Who asked her to praise
Like her impudence, think
Yes; pretty day I've passed. l sh'
not forget this wedding day, think Al
as say pretty speech you made in the W
of thanks. No, Caudle, i'll was to live hu
ers, dred years-you needn't to groan Mr.. Ca
49,; die, shall not trouble you half that time; j
"'' was to live hundred years, | should ne'
foroet it. Never! You didn't even mu