Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1845-03-14
MONTPELIER, FRIDAY, MARCH IA, 1916.

them say, 'Twig his CATERS; that was his express
sion, sir; and another made an impertinent remark
on my shoes. Would he have had me torture my
feet in his own Frenchifed fashion the iackal.
apes
"Greatly disguised, sir, pushed my way into
a corner. / had scarcely sat down, when my two
silly nleces Clara and Matilda, came gigglng, and
asked me to standup. desired to know what they
meant sir; it was to dance, sir actually to dance
think of that asked them if they were mad, or
thought me so. Would you believe it, sir, they
had the audacity to sieze me by the coat, which
they nearly tore, and to try to drag into the mid
die of the room. It's fact, sir. | was under the
necessity, sir, of dsengagug myself by main force.
"Then, sir, they formed what they called "a set
set indeed-of simpletons. This set, sir, you
arc to understand, was species of jig. You had
silly girl, sir, hammering away at the piano, the
same tune a quarter of an hour at least, without
cessaton and all that while, the rest, equally silly,
kicking their heels to it, This insane exhibition, |
believe, was termed the 'Lancers,' with which reg
iment it had as much to do as my snuif-box. The
next set or whatever they called it, had the equally
unmeaning title Of the Pastorae.' saw Loveioy
himself, in the course of it, caperng away sngly
in the middle Of the room, the others looking on.
1t quite altered my opinion of him, sir; and had
always thought him n sensible man. My sister,
too, INDUCED in a similar folly. Now, sir, she is
upward Of forty, and very stout. | never saw any
one more conspicuously ridiculous in my life, sir.
81 don't know whether or not you are troubled
with COINS, sir, but if you are, and wish to have
them trodden on, recommend you to 20 to a quad
rifle party There was |, obliged TO stand bolt up
right against the wall, like n sentry, lest this acct
dent should occur. 1t did occur nevertheless more
than once, sir. | said accident, sir, but believe
it was done on purpose.
"At last came supper There sir perhaps, you
think | enjoyed little quiet; if you do, you arc
mistaken, sir. was pestered by two stupid ole
women, between whom had the misfortune to sit
They both affected the girl, and tried to make me
talk nonsense 10 them; but answered each, sim
ply, Yes, Ma'am,' and NO. Maam.' | obtained
nothing to eat, sir, but the back of a chicken; the
leg never touch: and the ladies monopolized the
breasts and wings: in fact sir, there was little o.
any thing to eat but pastry and trash, though more
than enough of that.
"ln' the centre of the table stood huge cake
incascd in white crust principally chalk, ant
studded with gimcracks, probably poisonous lump
Of this indigestbe stuff, which nearly made mt
bilious TO look at it, were handed about; and the
children were cranmed with it, suppose, to make
them NJ. The uproar in the mean time, was dis
tracing; and to aggravate it and annoy myself
personally, take it, the simpetons of both sexc
kept pulling Waterloo crackers, endangcring thei
own and other peoples eyes. Then, sir, came th
bufoonery of drawing characters. One Of TIT
foolish women | sat by must needs draw one 70
me. 1t was Christopher Crosspatch,' or some suc
absurd name; ard she attempted to take the libert
of pinning it to my coat. After supper young an
old, all fools alike joined in that senseess amlise
ment, 'Blnd-man's Buff When they were tire
of that, you may suppose they had had enough
Not at all, sir. The more youthful of the lunatic
went to Hunt the Slipper; pastime equally il
rational. The next m-fooery, sir was that ex
travagant, noisy, and nors nsical sport, 'Snapdrag
on;' at which, am happy to say, several little COB
Inns burnt their fingers. The fosies of the evcnin
were crowned by downright romp; in the cours
of which, sir, some grossly ndecorous conduct too
place, under a misetoe bough. An impertinenc
of the kind alude to was offered to me- but, sill
repealed it in such way, that it was rot repeated
| "Some people call this kind of thing innocer
mirth.' | say it is idle merrment. | should tie
you sir, that, on returning home, I found pa
per pigtal under my collar | wish knew VIII
presumed to place it there Innocent mirth
Bah ! wish it would give other people the heat
ache it gave me- This is the first time was eve
in the way of innocent mirth, and, sir, you may de
pend it will be the last. No, sir, have once bee
to Twelfth-Night party-catch me there again