Sentinel of the valley. [volume] (Woodstock, Va) 1841-1848, 1845-01-23
MlSCELLANEO rs.


- g tatS uUUI tne Otnef DAY, the
door Of an oyster-house in our city was
thrust open, and in stalked hero from
the Sucker state. He was quite six
feet high, spare, somewhat stopped,
with hungry, anxious countenance,
and his hands pushed clear down to
the bottom Of his breeches pockets
His outer covering was hard 10 define;
but after surveying it infinitely, we
ometo the conclusion that his suit had
been madei in his boyhood, of dingy,
yellowlnsey -woolsey, and that, having
sprouted with astonishing rapidly, he
had been forced to piece it out with all
colors, in order 10 keep pace with his
body. In spite Of his exertions, how
ever, he had fallen in arrears about a
foot of the necessary length, and conse-
quently, stuck that far through his in
expressibles. His crop of hair was
snrmounted by the funniest little seal
skin cap imaginable. After taking a
position, he INDUCED in long stare al
the man opening the birolces, and
slowly CALCULATED Isters:,o
Yes, sir" responded the attentive
operator; and fine ones they are, too"
"Well i've hearn tell of listers afore,"
says he, "but this is the fust time I've
seed 'em, and prehaps I'll know what
harmade Of afore git outof town.
Having expressed his desperate in
tention, he curionsly approached a
plate, and scrutanised the uncased
shell.fsh with gravity and interest
which would have done honor to the
most illustrious searcher into the hid
den mysteries of nature. At length he
began to soliloquise on the difficulty of
getting them out.
!" never seed any thin hold on so
takes an amazin' sight of sorewin',
boss, to get 'em out, and amt they
slick and slip'ry when they does come?
Smooth as an eel! I've a good mind
TO give that fellar lodgins, just to real
Use the effects, as uncle Jess used to
say about SPECIFICATION"
/" Well, sir, was the reply, ssdown
with two bits, ssand you can have do
zen.0
]" Two bitsp' exclaimed the Sucker,
"now come, that's sticking it on rite
strong, boss, for listers. A dozen on
Fem mint nothin' to a chicken, and
there's no gittin' more'n picayune a.
piece for them. I've on'y realised
torty-fve plcayunes on my first ventur'
to St. Louis. I'll tell you what, I'll
give you two chickens for dozen, if
you'll conclude to deal. ?
A wag, who was standing by indul-
ging in dozen, winked to the atten-
dant to she'll out, and the offer was ac-
cepted.
:. Now mind, repeated the Sucker,
Call faik-two- chickens for dozen
you're witness, mister,'' turning at the
time TO the wag; ssnone of your tricks,
for I've hearn tell that you city fellars
are mighty sl;p'ry coons.''
8 The bargain being fairly understood,
our Sucker squared himself for the on
set-deliberately put off his seal-skin,
tucked up bis sleeves, and fork in hand,
awaited the appearance of No. l.. til
came-he saw-and quickly it was
bolted A moments dreadful pause
ensued. The wag dropped his knife
and fork with a look of mingled amaze
ment and horror something akin to
Shakspeare's Hamlet on seeing his
daddy's ghost, while he burst into the
exclamation
$ Swallowed alice, as Pm chris
tian -
Our Sucker hero had opened his
mouth with pleasure moment before,
butlnowlt stoodopen. Fear-a homid
dread Of he didn't know what-a con-
sciousness that all wasn't right, and
Ignorance Of the extent Of the wrong
1.-The uncertainty of that moment was
terrible. Urged to desperation he fall
tered out
What on airth's the row9''
Did you swallow it alire % inqui-
red the wag.
swallowed it list as he gin ii to
me" shouted the Sucker.
You're dead man!v exclaimed |
his anxious friend: 1.-THE creature is
atiue. and will eat right through you,"
added be, in most hopeless tone.
81 stGet a pizenPump and pump itout!''
screamed out the Sucker, in phssnzy,
his eyes fairly starring from their sock