American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1845-05-22

MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
Fir. Cattdie has expressed ,ciSh that one Of has
numerous 'HHie responsibilities Were Of ire mas
cuine gender. Mrs. Cmtite is h0rror-struck
Mr.. Caudle, the judgments of heaven will
fall on you. ! should not he surprised if you
were to be struck down. Finding fault with
the order of nature--and repining at the bless
ings that are thrown into your lap. | wonder
what you won't say neNf. Wishing enc of our
darling girls was changed into boy. Caude,
you'll be punished for this There might as
well be no PunShments, if man is not made
to feel them after such Il horrible wish!
What are you fighting and swearing at that
rate with? q, bed-bug! 1t is not so Caude,
it is only trick to stop me from saying word.
! cannot speak word after come 10 bed, but
there is shirt BUTTON pudding, or a bed-bug
thrown into my face. You may lay and talk ,
and find fault, and scod-but as soon as your
slave Of wife says a word, she's insilted with
fling about bed-bugs, or told to stop her ever
lasting tongue. And this is the treatment re-
ccive, after slGying myself to boil q nice pud-
ding for your dinner! 1t wasn't half done do
you say? Oh, Caudle, if you dent come to
poverty, and know what it is to want mouth
full of dinner, there is an end Of justice-turn-
ing up your nose at a lovely, nice pudding
that tired your poor wife almost to death to
cook
And SO you want flssy, noisy tyke of
boy about the house, instead of one of our pref
ty little lady CGudles And shouldn't be sur
prised to hear that you had mentioned it at that
precious club Of youIs-and the fellows there
pattcd you on the back, and told you that you
ought to stand up for your rights. shouldn't
wonder II that Prettyman went home and told
his wife Of it, and had hearty laugh at your
making fool ofyoursef. She's got house full
of noisy dirty boys, and mighty proud she is
of them. Let me catch her laughing at me be-
cause nay boys are all girls! Let me catch her,
that's all. She wouldn't desire to laugh but
once--only once.
A boy in the house! First tearing this, then
breaking that; now pulling the cats tail-then
brought home kicked by a horse! When old
enough to see about for himself, running away
from school-or going off to sea! Perhaps
when man, joining a cub-ndeed | know he
would if he took after his father! Caudle,
was not prepared for this treatment. | have
been ill-treated laughed at, swO-e at, and told
to hold my tongue, before | had spoken scarce
q word-.but it remained fer this nights work
to finisR my trials. Bows and bed-bugs flung at
me, as though | was brute beast! | shall not
survive such treatment long-theie's some COM
fort in that. ! shall die, or go home to mother,
and you will be left to find fault and scold to
yourself. Don't tell me that you was only in
fun. Fun indeed! 1t has come to pretty
pass, when you acknowledge you are making
fun of your wife. Caudle, you tell u story
People don't come to bed to make fun. What
do they come for; They come to behave like
Christian people, Not to twit of hed-bugs and
then cry fun. There isn't bug in this bed
but there is brute in ia brute, sir,-that
has wife with the temper of a lamb-a pat
tern of patience-that is put upon every day
she lives, by her husband, because he knows
her angel temper will not resst-who seldom
opens her mouth, and when she does, there is
nothing but buildings, or skyarks, or boys, or
bed-bugs thrown into it!
Don't tell me that never spoke in my life
that Pm dumb! Oh, Caudle, if it were pos
sible thing, ! should be out of temper. This
treatment is horIbe Never spoke world
There's one word | wish never had spoke to
you, sir When you came bowling and bend
ing, and pleading, with your hat in your hand =,
and your hypocritlcal smiles and beseeoked me
to make you so unspeakably happy as to be-
come Mrs. Caudle, was fool enough then to
speak word that set you dancing about the
room like 4 great fool as you are. The most
unfortunate word ever said was yes, to your
impudence! and sorry enough | am for it
What business had you to come around dear
mothers house, and beg me to go walking
with you, and wheedling me with your non
sense'
Oh, you're not asleep, then. What did you
say, Mr.. Caudle? You wish had said no.
Caudle | cannot endure thisl can't. If
were not patient Christian, should die I'M
der the burden!
suppose when you get through at that Club
of yours, you tell those pretty fellows there,
that you'll 90 home and make fun Of your wife
or catch bed-bugi o, that should ever
live to be made fun Of Don't tell mel I've
no doubt you say SO. You talk all the time,
and can hardly speak word for myself But
the time will soon come, Caudle, when you will
not have your poor Margaret to find fault with,
and make fun Of | feel it coming on. eau
die, lam breaking down. You may laugh and
kick round, but you'll find tso. amt stock
nor stone! Done the best could, as have,
and then be twitted because we have no boys
among our little ones--as though that was my
tault-as though my Clementina, and Arabella,
and Ariminta, and Zuabella, and Sophama,
and Angelica, are not better than all the noisy,
hallowng boys in the kingdom. Oh, Caudle
you are misunderstanding fun-bed-bug
-hroken-hearted-a
At this time, says Caudles MS, my wife's
tongue rested-and soon after fell into trou-
bled sleep-n which saw visions of dirty
faced boYs-Mrs. Caudlc in fts-and thought
4 bedbug as large as an elephant rested on my
breast
EXECUTION. A colored woman is TO be exc
,n,,l ,t (Ianruatown Del "a, H. 10Th &c