The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1845-05-17
From the London Punch.
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
On mfr. Coadie's shirt-buifo,,s.
LECTURE !

I'm Jur, CduuttS S0tTt-0uu0nS
There Mr. Caudle, hope you're in little bet
ter temper than you were this morning. There
you needn't begin to whistle people don't come to
bed to whistle. But it's like you can't speak
that you don't try to insult mo. Once, used to
say, you were the best creature living: now, you
get quite fend. DO let you rest No: won't lei
you rest It's the only time have to talk to you,
and you shall hear me. I'm put upon all day long
it's very hard if can't speak word at night; and
it isn't often open my mouth, goodness knows!
Because once in your lifetime your shirt wanted
button, you must almost swear the roof off the
house! You didn't swear' Ha Mr.. Caudle you
don't know what you do when you're in passion.
You not in passion, wer'nt YOU'D Well,
then, don't know what passion is--and think
ought by this time. pve lived long enough with
you, Mr.. Caudle, to know that. Ff
''Irs pity you havnt something worse to COM
plain of than button off your shirt If you'd some
wives, you would, know. Pm sure I'm never
without needle and thread in my hand. What
with you and the children, I'm made perfect slave
of. And what's my thanks' Why il once in your
life buttons of your shlrt-what do you cry on
att say once Mr.. Caudle or twice, or three times,
at most I'm sure, Caude, no mans buttons in the
world are better looked after than yours only
wish I'd kept the shirts you had when you were
first married l should like to know where were
your buttons them
Eyes, il is worth talking Of! But that's how YOU
always try to put me down. You fly into rage,
and then if only try to speak, you won't hear me.
That's how you men always will have all the talk to
yourselves poor woman isn't allowed TO get a
word in. ntE
"a nice notion you have Of a wife, to suppose
she's nothing 70 think of but her husbands buttons.
pretty notion, indeed, you have of marriage. Ha!
if poor women only knew what they had to 20
through! What with buttons and one thing and
another! They'd never tic themselves up to the
do, Mr. Caude' Why, do much better without
III. Z .
Sand it's my belief, after all, that the button
wasn't off the shirt it's my belief that you pulled
it off, that you might have something to talk about
Oh, you're aggrayatng enough, when you like, for
anything. All know is, it's very odd that the but
ton should be of the shirt; for Pm sure woman's
a greater slave to her husbands buttons than am.
i only say, it's very odd.
However, there's comfort; it can't last long.
Pm worn to death with your temper, and sha'n't
trouble you a great while. Ha, you may laugh
And dare say you would laugh I've no doubt Of
il That's your love--that's your feeling know
that Pm sinking every day, though say nothing
about it. And when I'm gone, we shall see how
your second wife will look after your buttons.'
You'll find out the difference then. Yes, Caudle,
you'll think of me then; for then, hope, you'll
never have blessed button to your back.
s'No, I'm not vindlctive woman, Mr. Caude
nobody ever called me that, but you. What do you
say Nobody ever knew so much Of mel That's
nothing at all to do with it. Ha! wouldn't have
Its good thing I'm not as worrying you are
or a nice house hcre'd be between US. only wish
you'd had wife that sco,Id have talked to you! then
you'd have known the difference. But you impose
upon me, because, like poor fool, say nothing.
l should be ashamed of myself Caudlc.
Sand pretty example you set father; you'll
make your boys bad yourself Talking as
you did all breakfast time about your buttons! And
Of Sunday morning too! And you call yourself a
Christian should like to know what your boys
Al N.
paluy button off one your wristbands decent
man wouldn't have mentioned it. Why won't
hold my tongne' Because ,oont hold my tongue.
Pm to have my peace of mind destroyed-l'm to be
worried into my grave for miserable shirt-button,
and I'm TO hold my tongue! Oh! but that's just like
you men
"But know what I'll do for the future Every
button you have may drop of, and won't 80 much
as put a thread to 'em. And should like to know
what you'll do then? Oh, you must get somebody
else to sew em, must you' That's a pretty threat
for husband to hold out to a wife! And to such :
wife as I've been, too such a negro slave to your
buttons, as may sayl Somebody else to sew 'em
eh, No, Caudle no not while I'm alive! Whcr
I'm dcad-and with what have to bear there's nc
knowing how soon that may be--when I'm Dead
say--oh what a brute you must be to snore so!
'sYoure not snoring' Ha! that's what you al
why's say but that's nothing to do with it, 70,
must get somebody else TO sew em, must your Ha
shouldn't wonder. Oh, no! should be surprises
at nothing, now! Nothing at all! It's what peopl
have always told me it would come to,--and now
the battons have opened my eyes But the Who'll
world shall know Of your cruelty, Mr.. Caudle. Al
ter the wife I've been TO you Somebody else, in
deed, to sew your buttons. I'm no longer to be mis-
tress in my own house Ha, CaudIel wouldn
have upon my conscience what you have, for III
world wouldn't treat anybody AZ you trcat---ne
I'm not mad It's you, Mr.. Caude, who are mao
or bad--and that's worse ! can't even 20 much .
speak Of shirt-button, but that I'm threatened
be made nobody Of in my own house! Caud'
you've heart like hearth-stone, you have! I
threaten me, and only because q button--a Blu
TON" safrf 1slE 9r if cie 9tdI1
al was conscious Of no moro than this, say
Caudle in his MS, for here nature relieved m
with sweet, deep sleep"
THE CHESS PLAYER.