Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1845-01-31
Laugh&ble Story.

bore letters of introduction. After relating
number of ludicrous and amusing mistakes
upon his entrance into the presence of the lady,
he thus proceeded
The ordinary routine of French din
ner commenced. A regular series of SER
wants appeared each instant at our elbows,
inviting US to partake of a thousand differ
ent kinds of wine, under strings of names
which | no more understood than under
stood their composition, or they did my
g0ucseries. Resolute to avoid all further
opportunities for displaying my predomi-
nant trait. sat in the most obs inate ST.
lence, saying O1i to every thing that was
offered to me, and eating with the most
devoted application, till my fair neignbor,
tired with my taciturnity and her own, at
length herself began conversation by in
curing how | was pleased with the opera.
was just raising large morsel of potato
to my mouth, and in order to reply as
quickly as possible, hastily thrust it in,
intending to swallow it hastily. Heavens!
1t was as hot as burning lava. What
could 90! The lady's eyes were fixed
upon me, waiting reply to her question.
But my mouth was in fame. rolled the
burning morsel hither and thither, rocking
my head from side to side; while my eyes,
which involuntary | had fixed on he,
were strained from their sockets. She re-
garded my grimaces, of the cause of which
she was ignorant, with an expression of
amusement and surprise, at which can
laugh now when | think of it.
"Monsicur is il!' at length she gently
and liz anxious tone inquired l could bear
no more. My mouth was faying with in
tolerabls pain; so quietly abandoning the
point, | opened it to the utmost, and out
dropped tie internal brand upon my plate
Not the slightest tendency to visibility ruff
fled the imperturable politeness of the la
dy. She soothingly condoled with me on
my misfortune, then gradually led the con-
versation to variety of topics, still exer-
ting the magic influence that true politeness
always exercises, & | began to forget even
my own blunders. Gradually my cheeks
burned less painfully, and could join in
the conversation without the fear that eve
ry word | uttered shared the fate of the &C
ton attempted; l even ventured to hope;
nay to congratulate myself, that the cata-
logue of caIamities was completed for the
day.
"Let no man call himself happy before
DEATH" said Scion, and he said wisely
The Ides of March were not yet over. Be-
fore us stood dish of caulihower, nicely
done in butter. This naturally enough
took for custard pudding, which it suffi-
GENTLY resembled. Unfortunately my vo-
cabuary was not extensive enough to en-
brace all the technicalties of the table, and
when my fair neighbor inquired if was
fond Of chor17eur, IveriIy took it to be the
French for custard pudding, and so high
was my panegyric of it that my plate was
bountifully laden with it. Alas, one sin
gle mouthful was enough to dispel my il
fusion.
/ Would to Heaven that the chor1aeur hao
vanished with 1t. But that remained DO
Oily, and as l gazed despondingly on thu
large mass that doomed almost as large ant
burning as Vesuvius, my heart died with
in me. Ashamed to confess my mistake
although could as readily have swallowe'
an equal quantity ofsoft soap. 1struggle'
= on manfuIly against the montaneous heaI
atits base-and shutting my eyes and Q
peniug my mouth to inhale as large mas
ses as could without stopping to taste il
But my stomach soon began intelligibly {
nough to intimate its intention to admit IL
more of this nauseous strange beneath il
roof, if not even expeIing that which ha
= gained an unweIcome admission.
. The seriousness of the task had under
e taken, and the resolution necessary to e.
Il cite it, had given an earnestness and rap
i dity to my exer,ions which appetite coul
not have inspired, when my plate, havln
If got somewhat over the edge of the tabl
upon my leaning forward tilted up, an
down slid the disgusting mass into IN
lap. My handkerchief, unable to bear {
weighty load. bent under in its turn, ar
great portion of it landed safely in II
l. hat. The plate righted itself-as | raist
70 nv person and saw as l glanced my e!
around the table that no one had notic'
nv disaster, inwardly congratulated m
self that the nauseous deception was
d. happily disposed of. Resolved not to
detected, L instantly rolled my handkerchI
: together. with its remaining contents, al
whipped it into my pocket.
=! a: The dinner table was at length desert
n for the drawing room, where coffe a