The northern galaxy. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1844-1848, 1845-04-02
From the N. Y. Spirit Of the Times.
GOING TO BED BEFORE A YOUNG
LADY

L n
LADY.
We published week or two since under
this head, a most amusing story of one Judge
Douglass, of Illinois, in which that gentle
man, having accepted the hospitality Of a
large family, occupying single room, was
Obliged TO undress and "hop into bed' in the
presence Of a young lady. This young lady
the Judge describes as a Venus in linsey-
woolsey-plump as pigeon and and smooth
as persImmon." The Judge himself was a
"smalI man, physically speaking" and the
idea of going to bed before the young lady,
a modest, sensible girl, who from habit, Ihot
nothing Of the circumstance-turned his head
topsey-rurvy. The idea of pulling off his
boots before her was death. and as to doliing
his other fxens, he said he would have soon
er have taken of his legs with a hand saw.
At length the tremendous crisis approached.
The Judge had partially undressed, enrench-
ed behind rocking chair, which offered
no more protection from 1.-THE enemy"
than the rungs Of ladder. Then be had a
dead open space Of ten feet between the chair
and the bed-a sort OF Bridge of Lodi pass
age. as he described it, which he was forced
TO make, exposed to a cruel rakiDg fire, fore
and aft! The Judge proceeds
BODY, limbs. and head. setting up bus
mess on one hundred and seven and half
+ pounds, all told, of flesh, blood and bones,
cannot, individually or collectively, set up
any very ostentatious pretensiOns. believe
the young lady must have been settling in her
mind some philosophical point on that head.
Perhaps her sense of justice wished to assure
itself of perfectly fair distribution of the re-
speciive motives. Perhaps she did not feel
easy till she knew that a kind Providence
had not added TO general poverty individual
wrong. Certain it was, she seemed rather
pleased with her speculations; for when | a
ose from a STOPPING posture, finally. WHOLLY
disencumbered of cloth. noticed mischiev-
ons shadows playing about the corners other
mouth. Ii was the moment had determin-
ed TO direct her eyes TO some astonishing cir
cumsrdnce out of the window. But the young
lady spoke at the critical moment. MIR.
Douglass she observed, you hare got
mighty small chance Of legs here"
Men seldom have any notion of their own
powers. / never made any pretensions 10
skill in ground and lofty tumbling;' butt is
strictly true, cleared a, one bound the open
space, planted myself on the centre of the
bed, and was buried in a twinklinS.'
The story of Judge Douglass has suggest
ed TO Field, of the St. Louis Reveiile, the FOL
lowing adventure of Of Missouri politician:
The gentleman from Illinois" is not the
only gentlemen whose legs have led him in
to an embarrassment A political friend Of
ours, equally happy in his manners, if not in
his party. among the Missouri constituency,
found himself, while canvassing the State last
summer, for Congress, in even more pecu-
liar perplexing predicament than the Illinois
Judge.
There is spot in the southwestern part
of this State. known as the Fiery Fork of
Honey Runi-a delicious locality, no doubt,
as the run of honey" is OF course accUmpa-
MED by corresponding flow of milk" aud
a mixture of milk and honey, or, at any rate.
honey aud ''peach," is the evidence of snblu-
nary contenIment, every place where they
have preaching
"Honey Rum is further chrisianized by
| the presence Of an extremely hospilable fam
! lily, whose mansion, comprising one apartment
-neilher more or less-is renowned for be-
ing never smut against the traveller, and so
our friend found it during the chill morning
air, at the expense of rheumatism in his
/ shoulder, its numerous and unaffected cracks
and spaces clearly showing that dropping the
]
I BILE host and hostess, in their one apartment,
usually enjoy the society of two sons, four
daughters, suudry dogs and "niggers." and as
many dodgers as may deem II prudent TO
risk the somewhat equivocal allotment of
sleeping partners. On the night in question,
our friend, after hearty supper of ham and
eggs, and canvass of the Fiery Forkers, the
: old lady having pointed ont bis bed, felt very
weary, and only looked for an opportunity
to "turn in" though the musquetoes were
trumping all sorts of wrath, and no net APP
peared to bar them. The dogs flung them
selves along the floor, or again rose, restless
ly. and sought the door step; the niggers
stuck their feet il the yet warm ashes; the
old man stripped unscrupuiously, aud sought
his share of the one colapsed-l looking pillow,
and the sons, cavalierly, follow ed his exam
pie, leaving the old woman. gals and stran-
ger TO settle any dispute that might arise.
The candidate yawned, looked at his bed,
went to the door. looked at the daughters !;
finally, in downright recklessness, seating
himself upon the downy and pulling off his
coat. Well, he pulled off his cOat-and then
he folded his coat-and then he yawn ed-and
then he whistled-aud then he called the old
lady's attention to the fact. that it would new
er do to sleep in his muddy trowsers-and
then he undid' his vest-and then he " his
tied again-and then, suddenly. an idea OF
her dodgers possible embarrassment seemed
to flash upon the old woman, and she cried,
"Gals, Jest turn your backs round till the
stranger gets into bed"
The backs were turned, and the stranger
did get into bed in less than no time. when
the hostess again spoke.
Reckon. stranger, as you amt used TO us
: you'd better kiver up till the gals undress
: hadn't you!''
;, BY this time our friends sleepy fit was over
and though he did kiver up as desired, some
{ how or other the old counterpart was equal
S y kind in hiding his bushes, and favoring hi'
, sly glances.
n The nymphs were soon slowed away. TO