Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1845-07-24
Amusing.
FROM rBE LospoN PUNCH.
MRS. CAUDLE,s
CURTAIN LECTURES.

MRS. CAuDLEs
! @ u RTAIN LECTURES
MR.. cAUDLs HAS AGAIN STAYED OUT LAr..
MRS. oAUDLE, AT FIRST INJURED AND
INDIGNANT, mELTs.
Perhaps, Mr.. Csudle, you'll tell mo
where tits is TO end Though, goodness
knows, needn't ask that.--The end 10
plain enough. Out--out--ou, Every
night--every night I'm sure, men who
cant come home at reasonable hours have
no business with wives: they have no
right 10 destroy other people, if they
choose TO go to destruction themselves.
Tia, lord Oh, dear | only hope cone Of
my girls will ever marry--l hope they'll
none Of EN- ever be the slave their
poor mother is; they shan'tifl can help
It. What do you say Nothing +? Well,
| don't wonder at that, Mr.. Cauule; you
ought to be ashamed 10 speak Pm only
astonshed that at such hours you have
the confidence TO knock a, your own
door. Though Pm your wife. must say
II, do sometimes wonder al your impu-
dence. What do you say 7 Nothingf
lia! you are an agglava,ing creature,
Caudle, lying .here like the mummy Of
man, and never as much as opening your
! lips TO any one. Jus, as If your own wife
wasn't worth answerngf iIsn't so when
you're out Pm sure Oh no then you
can talk fast enough; here, there's no get
ting word from you. But you treat
your wife as no other man does--and you
know il.
Out--out every night! What. You
haueat been ont this aoeek before That's
nothing II all to do with il. You might
Just as we'll DO out all the week AT once
just And should like to know what
could keep you out till these hours. BUS
ness Oh, yes--l dare say Pretty
business married man and the father Of
a family must have out Of doors at one in
the morning. What! / shall dsfoe you
mad! On, no; you haven't feellngs
enough TO 20 ma YOU'D be better man,
Caudle, ifyou had. WI listen 10 you2
What's the use! OF course you've sons
story to put me off wIth--von can all do
that, and laugh al us afterwards.
No, Caudle. don't say that. Pm not
always trying TO fnd fault not l. It's
you. lnsver speak but when there's oc.
cason; and what in my time I've put up
with, there isn't anybody in the world
that knows. wa Iheary your sioryl Oh,
you may tell II if you please; &c on: only
mind, shan't believe word of il. Pm
mol such fool as other women are, ! can
tell you. There, now-dont begin 10
swear but go OBJ
"---------And that's your story, is il.
That's your excuse for the hours you
kept That's your apology for under.
mining my health and running your fami-
ly What do you thiok your children
will say OF you when they gov up--go-
iug aud throwing away your money up.
on good-tor nothing pot-house acqualn.
lance Hes not a pot house aeguasnt-
dnce Who IS he, then Come you
haven't told me that; but know--it's
that Prettyman Yes--to be sure il isl
Upon my lite! Well if I've hardly pa.
tieDcs to lie in the bed I've wanted a
silver teapot these five years. and you
must 70 and throw away as much money
as--wbat: You hapen't hromn itowayl
Haven't you Then my names not Mar
garei. that's all know!
"A man gets arrested, and because he's
taken from his wife and family, end lock-
Cd up, you must go and trouble your head
with II! Aud you must be mixing your
self up with nasty sheriirs ofiicers-pah!
I'm sure you're not fit TO enter decent
house--and 30 running from lawyer to
lawyer to get bail, and settle tho business,
as you cali it, A pretty settlement you'll
make Of lt--maik my words Yes--and
10 mend the matter, to flush il quite, YOU
must be one of the bail! That any man
that isn't born fool should do such a
thing for another! Do you think any
body would do as much for you! Yest
You say yesl Well, only wsh--iust
TO show that Pm right only wish you
we're in condition to try 'em. You'd
find TIE ditie-ence-that you would.
"What's other peoples affairs 10 you
you were locked up, depend upon il,
there's not soul would come near YOU.
No; IT'S all very fine now. when people
think there isn't chance o. your being
in trouble. bu, should only like to sea
what they'd say TO you if you were in a
sponging house. Yes--l should enjoy
bt"b, Juo' W oHoW 1Ou luht l III hiWdy0
right. What do you say? You think
better Of The worldl Hal that would be
all very well il you could affofd il but
you're not in means, know, 10 think so
well Of people as all that. And Of course
they only laugh at you. 'Caudls's an
easy fool, they cry-I know il as well az
.u heard 'em--'Caudle's an easy fool,
anybody may lead him. Yes, any body
but his own vile; and she--or course is no
body.
And now, every body that's arrested
will OF course send 10 you. Yes, Mr..
Caudle, you'l soon have your hands full
now no doubt oil il. You'll soon know
every spongng house and every sherif's
officer in Londor. Your business will
have to take care OF itself: you'll bava
enough to do to run from lawyer to law.
yer after tbs business of other people
Now, It's no use calling me dear soul----
not bit. No; and shan't put il off till
tomorrow. II isn't often speak, but I
piH speak now.