Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1845-10-30

Tor with every effort he only increased the
size oil the bunch Of shirt that stuck out sa
leet' between The buttons and button holes of
the waistband. Alter eXhausting himself in
vain attempts to close the opening in his Meth
ar garments, he approached the Doctor, who
appeared to be asleep, and after arousing him,
inquired If he could tell what had accustomed
the sudden dlsProportion between his unmen-
uonables ard that part of his person which now
refused To be enclosed i'm them.
"Why, yes" said the Doctor, rising and
scrutInizing Ned closely-"it is just as plain
as the nose on your iace-you have been
drinking and swillng at such a rate lately,
that Just what ] have predicted has come true
-you haze got tie dropsy"
Wounds you don't tell me so - eiacula-
ted the poor Lieutenant, as he ciasped his
hands together and fell, back i'm an arm chair.
"Oh that had listened To your advice, nv
dear fellow! Can't you do something to
save me 7"
"Pll try was the reply "but you must
go to bed, keep on low diet, avoid all stimu-
lating drinks, and take such medicines as
may prescribe"
"Thank you Doctor, will do anything in
the world TO get rid of this horrible disease
SAID Ned, sand if you will only cure me, Pl
promise to stop drinking observation-disclosures
10 You think shall have TO be tapped 70
"lt Is impossible to say, Ned but" added
the Doctor, "as you are young, and have a
good constitution, I think we may avoid that
operation, provided you keep still and lie on
your back.
Ned followed the Doctors advice strictly,
took simpies, dieted, and KEEP, on his back,
whilst the Doctor and Ned's brother officers.
TO whom the joke had been impaired, were
enjoying themselves at his expense Every
day he would receive hall dozen visits of
coincidence from the subs of the garrison
each OF whom would express his surprise at
the enlarged state of Ned's corporosity.
An the end of week, the Doctor again
| distracted Ned's breeches and drawers-had
them restored to their fair proportion, replace
ed by the bedside of his unsuspectng patient.
and then told him to rise and dress himself
SO indeed he did, and Ned soon found TO his
Infinite JOY, that his clothes were almost as
much too large Tor him now as they were be-
fore too small-aIl symptoms of dropsy hav-
ing ppeared-thanks to the kind at,en-
ton OF the Doctor, which were literally be-
slowed on him by Ned.-The Doctor bound
all the officers TO secrecy, and Ned's dropsy
became the standing joke of the garrison.
Time passed on, and by accident or design,
Neo made the acquaintance of the fair q
would not say frail one, whom the Doctor
employ ed as seamstress-the very person he
had engaged TO sew up the Lieulenat's mex
pressibles. AS matter of course. he had moi
advanced very far into her affections, before
she threw out hints that awakened n ed's sus
2iclons, and with lIttle management, he soon
possessed himself of all the particulars of the
trick that had been played on him.
No longer having the fear of death from
dropsy before his eyes, N ed relapsed into his
old habits, 'Just as easy as falling of a log,''
and the nightly prosecutions again commenc-
! ed The temperance lectures were renewed.
and the late hair-breadlh escape was held HI
before him ''in terrorem )" but to no purpose
Nec's constant reply to all the admonilons
OF the Doctor was, "a short life and merry
one J" AT times. however, Ned would appear
melancholy and detected, and would saw to
the Doctor, that he was tired of his existence
and that he must not be surprised if he pul
an end 10 himself.
About O'Clock one night, after the Doc
tor had retired TO rest. and was snooznq it
away very comfortably, protected from the
assaults of mosquitoes by a well tucked pa
wilton, he was suddenly aroused from his
slumber by the entrance of Ned, who was
very much disguised by liquor.
"Doctor,'' said he, (reeing backwards and
forwards, and introducing hiccup now and
then between his words,) "Doctor. oct nm
want TO talk TO you about something con-
corning life and DEATH want your advice.
my dear fellow. am about to commit a
deed-a fearful deed "A horrid deed. Gle,
up, won't you :"
"Clear out and go to bed and stop that
noise" growled the Doctor, as he turned over
iii bed.
"Well, it is the last favor have to ask VOL
Doctor, and ask it for the last time. am
tired of this life, and if you don't get M rlI
blow my brains out, land here he drew and
cooked pistol.) nh you get MP and hea,
Wtdt haze to say or mol 90
mo, confounG you," shouted the Doctor
"lhen here goes" and as he said it, BANG
went the pistol, and poor Ned was stretched
on the floor wetering in blood.
"feavens - cried the Doctor, as he lean.
; ed from the bed, carrying with him the mus.
quito bar, through which he had boled hi.
head) 'what have you donep Then CASTING
I glance IN the corner of the room, he sa "
by the Pickering light of an expiring candle
the mutlllated remains of the unfortunate younc
man AS he rushed in agony from the room
) he encountered several of The officers, who
hearing the report of the pistol were proceed
ing to the spot, to learn the cause of this un.
usual disturbance. To their enquiries Tn,
Doctor only replied by exclaimiug h,
begged me to get up--he said he would Kill
himself If didn't get up, and he has done it
might have prevented him.-Ohi | never
= never shall forgive myself ~ Such ,yo,o ia,