Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, 1845-01-11
From the St Louis Revelie
Swallowing Oysters Alive.
BY SOLITAIRE.

Disoppedrdnccs.
At n late hour the other night, the door of an
oyster house in our city was thrust open, and in
stalked a hero from the Sucker State He was
quite six feet high, spare, somewhat stopped,
with hungry, anxious countenance, and his
hands pushed clear down to the bottom Of his
breeches pockets His outer covering was hard
to define, but after surveying it minutely, we
came to the conclusion that his suit had been
made in his boyhood, of dingy, yellow linsey
woolsey, and that, having sprouted up with as
tonishing rapidity, he had been forced to piece
| j. out with oil colors in order to keep pace
with his body. In spite Of his exertions, how
ever, he had fallen in arrears about foot the
necessary length, and, consequently, stuck that
tar through his incxpresslbes. His crop ofhair
was surmountcd by the funniest little seal skin
cap immaginable. After taking position, he
indulgcd in long stare at the man opening the
bipolpes, and slowly iacuated-'Ieters y
Yes, sir, responded the attentive operator
'anG fine ones they are, too
We'll, I've hearn tell of isters afore,' says he,
'but this the iust time I've seed em, and pre-.
haps I'll know what thar made Of afore git out
! of town.
Having expressed this desperate intention,
he cautiously approached plate and scrutnzcd
the uncnscd shell fish with gravity and inte-
rest which would have done honor to the most
illustrious searcher into the hidden mysteries of
nature. At length ne began to soliloquize on
the difficulty of getting them out, and how queer
they looked when out
Il never seed any thin hold on so-'takes an
amazn' site of screwin' hoss, TO get em out
and amt they sllp'ry when they does come
Smooth as an eel! I've good mind to give
that teller odg;ns,' Jest to realize the effects a;
: uncle Jess used to say abouta spekelaton.'
: We'll, sir was the reply, down with twc
5 bits, and YOU can have dozen
| Two bits = exclaimed the Sucker, NOV
It come, that's stickln' it on rite strong, hos:
: Tor listers. a dozen on EN- aint nothln to
Is chicken and there's no gttln' more'n pcayun
5 apiece for them I've only realised 45 picJ
a yuncs on my first venture to St. Louis. i
s. tell you what, I'll Gin you two chickens for
e dozen, fyou conclude to deal
J. 4 way, who was standing by indulging in
l. dozen, winkcd to the attendant to shell out, an
h the offer was accepted.
II Now mind repeated the Sucker, 'all fair
d. two chickens for dozen,--you're witness, mi
IN ter turning at the same time to the wng; no;
: o. your tricks, for I've hearn tell that you eli
IN iellars are nifty slipry coOns.'
T. The bargain being fairly understood, o
" Sucker squared himself for the onset,-de
:" hrrUt,ly put oil his seal skin, tucked up b
III sleeve, and fork in hand awaited the appea
ance of No. |. 1t came-he saw-and quick
it was bnted! a moments dreadful pause c
u sued. The wag dropped his knife and fork wi
y look OF mingled amazement and horror
:" something akin to ShaSSneares Hamlet on Sc
= ing his daddy's ghost while he burst into I
=" exclamation
IT. Swallowed alire, ms I'm a christina
" Our Sucker hero had opened his mouth wi
pleasure moment before, but now It stood ope
" Fear--a horrld dread of he didn't know VIII
'' Ia consciousness that wasn't right, and ign
" rant of the extent of the wrong,--the uncerlal
- ty OF that moment was terrible. Urged to dc
peratlnn, he tatered out
What on ailth's the row =
Did you swallow 1t alive J enquircd &
'e way.
ne Il swallowed it jrst as he gin it to me !! shol
Ut ed the Sucker.