Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1845-07-10
From the London Punch.
Mrs. CaudIe's Curtain Lectures.
LECTURE X.-0n Mr.. Candles shirt but
tOnx

There, Mr.. Caudle, hope you're in
a little better temper than you were this
mo'ning There you needn't begin
Ia whistle people don't come to bed to
whistle. But its like you. cant
speak, that you don't try to insult me. -
Ooce, | used to say, yon were the best
creature living now, you get quite n
fenJ. do let you rest ? No: | won't
let you rest. It's The only time have
to talk to you, and you shall hear me. -
i'm put upon all day long : its very hard
If can't speak u word al night and il
isn't often | open my mouth, goodness
knows
"ISecause once in your lifetime your
shirt wanted button, you must almost
swear The root of the house : You
dd"i swear LA, Mr.. Caudle you
don't know what you do when you're IN
II passion. You were not in n passion,
wer'nt you Well, then, don't know
what II passion is-and think | ought
by this time. I've lived long enough
with you, Mr. Caudle, to know that.
"l's a pity YOU havnt something
worse 10 complain of than button oil
your shirt. Ii you'd some wives, You
would, | know. Pm sure l'm never
without needle -andihread in my hant
" hal with you and the children, l'm
made a perfect slave of And what's
my thanks Why If once in your hle II
buttons of your shr-what do you cry
oh at ! say once, Mr.. Caudle ; oI
twice, or three times, at most. pm sure,
Cnudle, no mans buttons in the world
are better looked after than yours
only wish Id kept the shirts you had
when you were first married | should
like TO know where were your buttons
then!
Eyes, ii is worth talking Of But
that's how you always try to put me down.
You fly into rage, and then II ] only
Try 10 speak, you won't hear me. That's
how you men always will have all the
talk to yourselves i: a poor woman isn'I
allowed TO get word IN.
A nice notion you have OF II wife, IT,
suppose she's nothing to think Of but her
husbands buttons. n pretty notion, in
deed, you have OF marriage lila il
poor women only knew what they had to.
80 through Wha, with buttons, and
one thing and another, They'd never,
he themselves up To the best mnn ia The
world, Pm sure. What would they do,
Mr.. Caudle Why, do much better
without y"u, I'm certain.
"Apd n's my belief, after all, that the
button wasn't of the shirt ii's my belief
that you pulled 1t of, that you might have
something 20 talk about. Oh, you're
aggravaIing enough, when you like, for
anything All know is, IT'S very odd
that the button should be off the shirt
Tor I'm sure no wo,nan's IA greater slave
to her husbands buttons than | AN. !
only say, its very odd.
"liowever, there's one comfort it.
can, IaS, long. Pm worn 10 death with
y"ur temper, and sha MT trouble you a
great while. lIa, you may laugh -
I've no doubt OF That's your love
that's your feeling! know that Pm
sinking every day, though ] say nothing
about II. Aud when Pm gone, we shall
s"e how your second wife will look after
your buttons You'll find out the dif-
Irrence, then. Yes, CaudIc, you'll
think Of me, then: for then, hope,
you'll never have Il blessed button to
your back.
"Nn, l'in not vindictive woman, MIR. !
Caudlr, nobody ever called me that, bui
you. What do you say: Nobody ever
knew so much OF me That's nothing al
all to do with it. IIa wouldn't
have your aggravating temper, Caudle
Tor mines Of gold. It's good thing Pm
not rs worrying as you are-or nice
house ihere'd be between W.. only
wish you'd had wife that would have
talked ,oyou then you'd have known
the difference. But you impose upon
me, because, like poor fool, say moth.
my. | should be ashamed Of myself,
Caudle.
"And pretty example you set as Il
father You'Il make your boys as bad
as Yourself. Talking as you did all
breakfast time about your buttons And
ola Sunday morning too And you
call yourself Christian | should like .
TO know what your boys will say of you
when they grow up And all about
paliry button of one oi your wristbands
II decent man wouldn't have mentioned
IT. Why won't hold my tongue -
Because ! won't hold INV tongue. Pm
to have my peace OF mind destroyed -.
Pun to be worried into my grave for a
miserable shlri-bulton, and Pun to hold
my tongue +! Oh but that's Just like
you, men
"But know what I'll do for the lu-
,urc. Every button you have may drop
off, and | won't 50 much as pu, thread
To 'em. And | should like to know
what you'll do then Oh, you must get
somebody else TO sew 'em mus, you -
That's a pretty threat for a husband to
bold out to n vile
Aud to such a wife as I've been, too
such negro-slave to your buttons, as |
may say Somebody else to sew 'em,
eh No, Caudlc, no not while Pm
alive When Pm dead-and with wha,
have to bear there's no knowing how
soon that u,ny be when I'm dead, | say
oh What brute you must be to snore
s"