The Washingtonian., 1845-09-13
S Ell E CT E D
DIARY OF A DRUNKEN COBBLER.
"A meek in London, June, l845.

"A "Cch W. LoNeOV3 SuUcs iOfcs
l. Dry as bone. Pulling out to finish Mr..
Scrogg's shoes by tomorrow, Saturday. Sent
across to the Boar's Head for a pint on tick
landlady as sour as threepenny; knocked
the jug from the boys hands, and ordered him
out. Not copper to be got at.
2. Finished Scroggs shoes, took them home
and touched los. Sd. Glorious take! Turned
in at the Boar's Head, to show off, and "crab'
the landlady, who made full apology as soon
as she heard the cash "clink." Twas all a
mistake-thought twas Muggn's boy, the
opposition cobbler. Quite satisfied with apol-
ogy, and got drunk. Prime beer-quite drunk
in forty minutes, and ready to fight any body,
particularly Muggins. No row, however-too
far gone fell asleep on the table.
3. (Sunday) Woke at four A. NJ; found
myself in the cow-house, back of Boar's Head.
Throat parch 'd-nobody up but the cock, whose
"cock-a-doodle-do'' cut through my poor head
Pump locked; pull'd plug out OF the rain-bar-
rel, and got drink, but more wet outside than
in. Three shillings and sixpence in pocket
counted it twenty times and could make no
more of it. Where the rest went ask the
landlady. Eight A. M, Boar's Head opens,
and in l walked; knocked down quart of
fourpenny, and felt a little better Bought a
red herring at Betty Mundy's, which the land
lady allowed me TO toast at her fire-accom-
modated me, too, with slice of bread, which
with pint of the old sort made out break
fast. Nine A. NJ, Muggins walks in and
walks out Not up for row just yet. Eleven
A. NJ, returned to Boars Head, front door
shut, got in back way, and found Muggins in
the tap. He began to throw off-so ordered
pot to be up with him. High words: "Talk
to yer fellows" sis I. GA perty fellow you
is," says he. "Better nor sich as you any day
of the wick" aysI. "Try it," says he. So
we had set to, and slam'd through the door
to the street. People were coming from Church.
but we hit on, till we saw the Peelers coming,
when we tried to run into Boar's Head-door
barred-we were "nabb'd."
a. Cold, hungry, thirsty-in the watch
house. Bread and water for breakfast. No
go. Wanted pot Of fourpenny. Not allow
ed-no "brass" if 'twere. Muggins in next
cell swearing like trooper. Hoped might
get off, and he on the treadmill. Taken afore
the Beaks. Spoke my apology: Sis I" ME
Lords and Gentlemen Of the Jury, Not Guilty;
Twas having as quiet refresh as your honors
might have been, at the Boar's Head, when
this here internal hannimal, Muggins insults
me by saying | was no man. Put it to your
selves, Me Lords and Gentlemen, who could
STAN that?" That speech had admirable effect
Muggins held down his head, and looked
criminal, so he got fined 5s., and was only
put in the stocks two hours
S. Underwent sentence in stocks. Rather
inconvenient-an confoundedly dry. Muggins
comes down to look on, and when the consta-
BILE turn'd round, he (Muggins) pu, his thumb
to his nose, and stretched out his both hands
in insulting mockery. How longed to have
at him; but thought it best to look away,
though could see by half an eye, and the
laughter of the boys told me what was going on.
6. Went home, and found my tools and all
my furniture, Zone chair, table, teapot, and
a gridiron,) seized for rent. Elevenpence a
week, had been running up for ten weeks
and the landlord was as stout one as ever let
cellar. What happy thing I've no family
to suffer from the affliction. had a wife but
she died from visitation of poverty, two
months ago, and my children are all away,
(my boy Tom, and my girls Polly and Liza, J
no doubt doing well, as they all took after their
fathers genius.
7. Slept under hedge last highland no
home to go to this morning, though with a
true English appetite for beefsteak. Called
at the Boar's Head-but some mistake again
no tick. Every thing lost but an empty stomach,
so am resolved to get into the Union for a
week or two, till better prospect opens. &c
with faint heart, no 'bacco, nor forpenny be.
ing allowed -and not chance Of serving Mug.
gins out.
STRENGTH OF THE TURTLE.-A party went
on shore one night for the purpose of catching