Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1845-10-11
From me london Punch.

From The London Punch.
MRS. CAUDLES CURTAIN LECTURES
Mrs. Candle has discovered that Caudic
is a Raii1ay Director.
when took up the paper to-day Caudle,
YOU might have knocked me down with fea-
Their, Now, don't be hypocrite-vou know
what's the matter. And when Won havnt a
bed to lie upon, and are brought TO sleep upon
coal Ssicks--and then / can tell YOU. Mr.. eau
die, YOU may sleep by yourseli-thcn you'll
know what's the matter. Now, I've seen
your name, and don't deny it. Yes--the Eel.
Pie Island Railway-and among the Direc-
tors, jon CAuDBH, Esq, of tile Turtledovery,
and-no, l won't be quiet. 1t isn't ofen-
goodness knows that | speak; but seeing
what do, won't he silent. What do r. sec y?
Why, there Mr. Caudle, at the foo, of tile
bed see all the blessed children In tatters-
| see YOU in goal, and the carpets hung out
at the windows.
And now | know why YOU talk in yuur
sleep about u bfoad and narrow gauge
couldn't think what was in your mind-but
now It's out. Ha, Mr.. Caudle, there's some
thing about broad and narrow way that |
wish you'd remember-but you've turned
quite heathent yes, you think of nothing
but money, now. Don't like monsy2 To
be sure do; hut then like it when I'm GER
tain OF it !; no risks for me. Yes, it's all very
well To talk about fortunes made i'm no time :
they're like shirts made I'm ITO time-its ten
10 one il they hang long together.
And now it's plain enough why you can Z
eat or drink, or sleep, or do anything Your
minds cut UP into railways: for YOU shan't
make me believe that Eel Pie Islands the
only one. Oh no. ! can see by the looks Of
you. Why, i'll "a little time, ir YOU haven't
II.
laid down. Every one of your features seems
cut up--and all seem travelling from one am
other. Six months ago, Caudle, who hadn't
a wrinkle; yes, you'd cheek ~ 3m0oth as
any china, and now you're isesSis Ike the
map of England, NJ
''At your time Of, lifcs too You, who
were for always gcinA rsnsH and. Ssros You
to make heads and taijs7o(1 ruur = - in this
way Its that stockbr9i ~ III al Flam
Cottage-he's bitten YOU Nm sure of IT,,
You're not a. fe sae.sase You, own property
now; afdd be only acting tl,e part of
a good wiie;4f fwtefe to call In the mail doc.
tors
"Well, shall never know rest any more
now. There won't I've soul knock at the
door after this, that shant think it's the man
coming TO take possession. Twill be some
thing Tor the Chalkpits To laugh at when weir
all Our articles of bigotry and virtue. and
what are you laughing at? THEY'RE not big.
otry and uirtue; bnt bJouterio and rertn2
Its all the same; only you're never so happy
as when you're taking me up.
"lt can tell what's come TO the world,
I'm sinner? Everybody's Tor turning their
iarthings into double sovereigns and cheating
their neighbors of the balance. And YOU.
too--you're beside yourself, Caudlc-Im sure
OF it, I've watched you when YOU thought
me fast asleep. And then you've lain, and
whispered and whispered, and then Rugged
yourself, and laughed at the bed posts as if
you'd seen 'cm turn To sovereign gold. do
believe that you sometimes think the patch
work quilt is made of thousand pound notes.
"Well, when you're brought to the Union,
then you'll find out your mistake. But it
Will be poor satisfaction for me every night
to tell you OF 1t. What, Mr.. CaudleY Thsy
won't let nc tell you of 10? And YOU call that
some comfort? And after the Wife I've been
TO you But now i recollect. think I've
heard you praise that Union before though
like fond fool as I've always been, never
once suspected the reason of it,
And now, OF course, day and night You'll
never be at home No. You'll live and sleep
at Eel-Pie Island shall be left alone With
nothing but my thoughts, thinking when the
broker will come, and you'll be with your
brother directors. i may slave and NAV toll
TO save sixpences, and you'll he throwing
away hundreds. And then the expensive
tastes you've got! Nothing good enough for
you now I'm sure YOU sometimes think
yourself KING SOLOMON. But that comes oI
making money--il, indeed, you have made
any-without earning il. No don't talk
nonsense: people can make money without
earning. And when they do, why it's like
taking "a lot OF spirits at one draught; it gets
into their head, and they don't know What
they re about. And you're in that state now.
Mr.. Caudie; I'm sure of it by the way of
you. There's drunkenness of the pocket as
well as OF the stomach-and you're i'm that
condition at this very moment,
q" Not that should so much mind-titat is.
II You hare made nioney-if you'd stop at
the Eel.Pie line. But ] know what these
things are: they're like treacle to flies when
men are well IN EN-, they can't get out OF
'em or IL they do, its often without fea
ther to fly with. No: if you've really made
money by the Eel-Pie line, and will give il IN
Inc to take care of for the dear children. why
perhaps, love, I'll say no more of the matter
What! NOnsenStY Yes, of course never
ask you for money, but that's the word,
And now, catch you stopping at the Eel
Pie linel oh no! l know your appravatino
spirit. In day or two ! shall see another
fine flourish III the paper, with proposal for
branch from Eel-PIe Island to the Chelsea
clubhouse. Give you mile of rail. and
know YOU men--you'll take y fhmdred Well
II 1t didn't make me culver to read that stnll
i'll the peper--and your name to it! BIT
, suppose 1t was Mr.. Prettymans work for his
precious NAMES among EN-. How you tell
the people that ecl-Pies are now become az
essential element of civilization II learnt all
the words by heart, that | might say 'em 10
you that the eastern population of London
are cut oil from the blessings of such neces.
sary-and that by means of the projected
ilne, eelpres will be brought home to the bu-
siness and bosoms of RatcliHe highway, and
the adjacent dependencies Well, When vol
nfcn-'oNts or the creation, as you call your-
selvcs--do get together to make up a GONNA
ny or anything Of the sort, rs there any story
book can come up to your And so YOU look
solemnly in one another's faces. and nejer so