The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1845-01-25
IIIS0lsLhlhANOU
From the ST. Louis RoyeilIe:
Swallowing Oysters Alive.

Ata late hour, the other night, the doc
II an oyster house in our city was lhrus
lopen, and in stalked hero from the Suck
Ter. Ho was quite six feet high, spare
somewhat stopped, with hungry, anxious
countenance. aud his hands pushed clea
Idown 10 the bottom Of his breeChes pockets
His outer covering was hard to define; bu
alter surveying it mnuIely we came II
he conclusion that his suit had been mad,
in his boyance; of dingy, yellow Insey
IwooIsey, and that, haviog sproued up will
astonishing rapidily, he had been forced Il
piece il oui with all colors, in order to keeI
with his body. In spite OF bis exerlons
however, he had fallen in arrears about :
cot ofthe necessary length, and consequent
ly, stuck tha, lar through his insxpressibes
His crop Of his hair was surmounled by
The funniest lIue seal skin cap imag aginahle
Alter taking position, he intulged in q
long stare al the man opening the biualves,
and slowly ejaculaled-'I,lers!
Yes, sir responded the attentive opera,
tor; 'and fine ones they are too
well, I've hearn tell of is,ers afore, says
he, 'bu, this is the frs, time I've seed 'em
and prehsps III know what thar made of
alore gi, out Of town.
Having expressed this desperate in,en
ton, he cautious y approached plate, and
ScruliLized The uncased shell fish with a
gravity and interest which would have done
honor 10 The most illuslrious searcher into
the mysteries Of nature. A, length he be
gen to soliloquize on the difficulty of getting
'em out, aud how queer ,hoy looked "Lo"
Dut.
Il never seed anvlhin' hold on so--'lakes
an a.nazin' site of screwin' boss 10 gerem
out, and ain, they slick and slip'ry when
they does come! Smooth as an sel! I've
a good mind 10 give ,ha, lelIsr lodgings, ,es
to realize the effect, as uncle Jess used tel
sag abou, spekelalion.'
We'll, sir was the reply, down with
two bits, and you can have a Dozen
Two b,sr exclaimed tho Sucker, nov
come, that's stickin' i, on rite strong, boss
ior listers. A dozen on en- aint noIhin' To-
4 chicken and there's no guin' more'n u
piece for them. I've only allied forty
five picayunes On my frs. venur' to S.
Louis. III tell you what, ut gin you ,w"
for dozen, if you'll conclude to
deal
A wag,who was standing by indulging in
4 dozen, winked to the attendant TO shell
out, and the offer was accepted.
Now mind, repeated the Sucker, all
fa,-two chckons for a dozen-you'r-
witness. mister turning at the same time
TO the wag, 'none of your tricks, for I've
heatn tell YOU city felIars are nifty slip'ry
c0ons
The bargain being fairly understood, our
Sucker squared himself for the onset-deih
rralely put of his seal skin, tucked up his
sleeves, and fork in hand, awaited the ap
Nearance OF No, |, |; came--hG saw-&
quickly it was boiled! A moments dread
tu pause ensucd.-rhe wag dropped his
knife and fork with look of mingled
amazement and horror-some,hlrg akin to
IShakapeare's Hamel on seeing hIs daddy +
phost-whie he burst into The excama
lOE
Swallowed aiiUc, as I'm chrislian!
Our Sucker hero had opened his mouth
with pleasure moment before, but now i,
stood open, Fear-a hOrrd dread of he
ldid'nt know whal-a consciousness that all
wasn't right, and ignorance Of the extent Of
the wrong-the uncertainty Of that moment
was terrible. Urged TO desperation, be
ralered out
What on airih's the low!
Did you swallow it aIve!' enquired ,ht
wag.
i swalercd it jist as gin it 10 me!shou'ec
, the Sucker.
You're a dead man. exclaimed his anXi
Icus friend; The creature is dIiUe and vii
eat right through you,' added he, in mo.
hopeless tone.
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