Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1845-02-07
SWALLOWING OYSTERS ALIVE.
From he 81 Lou's Pere;Us

from The NJ Lou s RereiAe
AZ late hour, the other night, the door of an
oyster house in our city was thrust open and in
stcked hero from thl Sucker State He was quite
six feet high, spare, somewhat stopped, with hun.
CRY ailNious countenlncc, and his hands pushed
clear Gown 10 the bottom Of his brooches rockets
u outer covering was hard to define, but after sur
HsNg q infinitely, we cane to the conclusion that
ms SUIT had been made in his boyhood Of a dinnv
yellow lnsey woolsey, and that, having sprouled up
with astonishing rapidly, he had been forced to
piece 1t out with ali colors, in order to keep pace
with his body In spite of his eXertious, however
he had fallen in arrears about foot of the neces-
sary length, and consequently, stuck that far thro
his inexpresslbes His crop oc hair was surmouu-
ted by The FUNNIEST little seal-skn cap ina gnable
After taking the position he INDUCED in long stare
at the man opening the bivdiueS, and slowly ciacu
lated lsters ::
Yes SIR responded the attentive OPERATOR and
fine ones they are too"
We'll, I've hearn of listers afore,' saws he. but
tins is the tust time I've seed M and perhaps, I'll
know what thar made f ntore git out of town
Having expressed his desperate intention he eau.
tiousIy approached the plate and scrutinized the
uncased shell fish, with gravity and interest which
would have done honor to the most illustrious
scarcher into the hidden mysteries OF nature. At
length he began 10 soliloquize Oh tho difficulty of
getting them ont, and how queer they look when
out.
HSNNI SCCu any lllu iOIu Oh sO--IlkCS an ANA
zln of screwiT boss, TO get IN out, and aint they
sick ana sp'pry when they does come? Smooth
as an eel We good mind to give that Teller lodg-
ngs, just to realize the effects as uncle Jess used
to say about specialization
We'll sir was the reply down with two bits.
and you can have DOZEN
Two bitsp exclaimed the sucker, 'now cone,
that's Stickln It on rite strong, boss, for sters A
dozen on Fem amt nothn to a chicken, and there's
no gettin' more'n picaune a piece for them. I'VE
only realized fortyive pcaunes on my last ventur'
to St. Louis I'll tell you what, I'll gin you tew
chickens for dozen, if you'll conclude to deal
a wag, who was Standing by ndulging in Il doz-
en-, winked to the attendant to shell out and the Of
fer was accepted.
| Now mind, repeated the Sucker, all far-two
chickens for dozenyou're Witness mister,
turning at the same time to the wag, none of your
tricks for have healn that your city fellers are
nifty slippry coons.'
The bargain being fairly understood, our Stacker
squared himself for the onset, deliberately put off
his seal skin, tucked up his sleeves, and, fork in
hand, awaited the appearance Of No. |. Itcame-
he saw-and quickly it was boted. moments
.feadful pause ensued. The wag dropped his
knife and fork with look Of mingled amazement
and horror something akin to Shakspeares Ham
let on seeing his daIdy's ghost, while he burst in
to the exclanmuton-
Swallowed alive, as Pm Christianp
Our Sucker hero had opened his mouth with
II
Fear "a horrid dread of he didn't know what-a
consciousness that all wasn't right and ignorant of
the extent Of the wrong-the uncertainty of the
moment was terrible. Urged to desperation he
faltered out
'What on earths the row?'
did you swallow it alive" inquired the wac
q swallowed it jest as he gin it to men shouted
the Sucker.
You're dead mani exclaimed his anxious
friend; 'the creature is alive and will cat right
through you added he, in hopeless tone.
'Geta pizen pump and pump it outr screamed
the Sucker, in frenzy, his eyes fairly starting
from their sockets % gracious -whatl do p
It's got hold Of my innards already, and Pm dead
chicken! do something for me, do don't let the
internal seatoad eat me aiore your eyesr
! Why don't you put some Of this on it !" inouir-
ed the wag, pointing to bottle of strong pepper
sauce.
The hint was enough the Sucker upon the in
slant siezed the bottle, and desperately wrenching
out the cork, swallowed half the contents at a
draught lie fairly squealed from its effects, and
gasped, and bowed, and pitched, and twisted, as if
it were coursng through him, with electric effect,
while at the same time his eyes stream of
tears. At length becoming little composed, his
waggish adviser approached almost bursting with
suppressed laughter, and inquired
How are you now old fellow did you kill it "
We'll, | did, hoss'-ugh ugh 600 my innards
If that lister critters dyin agones didn't stir up
ruptlon in me equal to Il small earthquake, then
faint no use sayln' tit squirmed like serpent,
when that KILN stuff touched it ha'-and here
with a counenance made up Of suppressed agony
and present determination, he paused as if 10 give
lclco to his words, and slowly and deliberately re-
marked, "If you get two chickens from me for that
live animal, III be hanged? and Selling his seal
skin he vanished