The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1845-05-14
THE DAILY UNION.
From the London Punch
MRS. cAUDLE's CURTAIN LECTURES.

MRS. CAUDLES CURTAIN LECIUhES.
LEeruaE W.
Mr.. Caadis has rsaiwed remonstranee on his days
diansr--eoid mutton. and no pudding. Mrs. Cmsdis
dsfends fAs cold shoulder.
Humph I'm surel Well, wonder what il will
be next There's nothing proper now-nothing at
all. Better get somebody else to keep the house, ]
think. can't do Il now, Il seems; I'm only in the
way here: I'D better take the children, and 90.
"What am ] grumbling about nowl It's very
well for you 10 ask that! I'm sure I'D better be
out of the world thsn-there now, Mr. Caudle; there
you are again. shall speak, sir. II isn't oten
open my mouth, heaven knows! But you like to
hear nobody talk but yourself You ought 70 have
married negro slave, and not any respectable wo-
man.
"You're to 90 about the house looking like thun-
der all the day, and I'm not 10 say word. Where
do you think puddiDgis 10 come from every day.
You show a nice example to your children, you do;
complaining, and turning your nose up nj a sweet
piece OF cold mutton, because there's no pudding
You 60 nice way 10 make EN- extrayagant-teach
EN- nice lessons TO begin the world with. Do you
know what buildings cost; or do you think they fly
IN at the Window
You hate cold mutton! The more shame for
you, Mr.. Caudle. I'm sure you've the stomach of
a lord, you have. No, sir didn't choose TO hash
the mutton. It's very easy for you 10 say hash IL;
but know what joint loses In hashing: it's a
days dinner the less, if it's bit Yes, dare say;
other people may have buildings with cold mutton.
No doubt Of il; and other people become bank
rupts. But ever you get into the Gazette, il shant
be my fault-no; I'll do my duty as wife to you,
Mr.. Caudle you shall never have il 10 say that il
was my housekeeping that brought you to beggary.
No; you may sulk at the cold meat-ha! hope
you'll never live to want such piece of cold mutton
as we had to-day! And you may threaten to 90 to
tavern to dine but, with our present means, not a
crumb Of pudding do you get from me. You shall
have nothing but the cold joint--nothing, as I'm a
Christian sinner.
eyes, there you are, throwing those fowls in my
face again know you once brought home a pair
of fowls; know il; and wernt you mean enough
to want to stop 'em out of my weeks money! Oh,
the selhshness, the shabbiness Of men! They can
\ go out and throw away pounds upon pounds with
a pack of people who laugh at em afterwards; but
if it's anything wanted for their own homes, their
poor wives may hunt for it. wonder you don't
blush to name those fowls again / wouldn't be go
little for the world, Mr. Caude
"What are you going to do, Going to get up'
Don't make yourself ridiculous, Mr.. Caudlc can't
say word TO you, like any other wife, but you
must threaten to get up DO be ashamed of your
self
"Puddings, indeed! Do you think I'm made OF
buildings? Didn't you have some boiled rice three
weeks ago. Besides is this the time of the year for
puddings It's all very well, if had money enough
allowed me, like any other wife, TO keep the house
with; then, indeed, l might have preserves, like
any other woman; now, it's impossible; and it's
cruel-yes, MIR. Caudle, cruel-of you to expect it.
"Appes Amt so dear, arn't theyi l know what
apples are, Mr.. Caudle, without your telling me.
But suppose you want something more than APP
Piles for dumplings' | suppose sugar costs some
thing, doesn'titi And that's how j, is. That's how
one expense brings on another, and that's how peo-
pie 60 to ruin.
tering there about pancakes Don't you always
have 'em once year--every Shrove Tuesday,
And what would any moderate, decent man want
more?
.Pancakes, indeed Pray, Mr.. Caudle--no, it's
no use your saying fine words to me to let you go
to sleep; shantl-pray do you know the price Of
eggs just now' There's not egg you can trust TO
under seven and eight shilling; well, you've only
just to reckon up how many eggs-don't lie swear
ing there at the eggs in that Manner Mr.. Caude,
unless you expect the bed to open under you. You
call yourself a respectable tradesman, l suppose
Hal only wish people knew you as well as do
Swearing at eggs, indeed! But Pm tired of this
usage Mr. Caudle; quite tired of it; and don't care
how soon IFS ended
sI'm sure do nothing but work and labor, and
think how to make the most of everything; and this
is how I'm rewarded. | should like to see any
body whose joints go further than mine. But if !
was TO throw away your money into the street, or
lay it out in fine feathers on myself, should be bet
ter thought of. The woman who studies her hus-
| band and her family is always made drudge of.
It's your fine fal-al wives who've the best time
] of it.
whats The use of your lying grooming there in
that manner That won't make me hold my tongue,
can tell YOU You think to have it all your own
way; but you won't, Mr.. Caudle! You can insult
my dinner; look like demon, may say at a
wholesome piece Of cold mutton--ha! the thousands
Of far better creatures than you are who'd been
thankful for that mutton land Pm never to speak
But you're Mistaken will! Your usage ofme,
Mr.. Caudle, is infnmous--nnworthy Of man
only wish people knew you for what you are; but
they shall, some day.
"Puddings! And now suppose shall hear Of
nothing but puddings' Yes; and l know what it
would end in. First you'd have a pudding every
day;-oh, know your exuavaeance--then you'd
60 for fsh--then shouldn't wonder if you'd have
soup-turtle, no doubt: then you'd go for dessert
and--oh! see it all as plain rs the quilt before
me-but no! not while live What your second
wife may do, l don't know; perhaps she'n be fine
lady but you shant be ruined by me, Mr.. Caudle;
that Pm determined. Puddings, indeed! Pu-dding-s!
Pudd---"
/ Exhausted nature" says Caudle, "could hold
out no longer. Here my wife went to sleep"
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