The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27

assauit--"I guess, since you talk of kicking.
you've never heard me tell about old Brady
and my mare, there. to hum?"
emo, sir nor do wish --"
| "Wal, guess it won't set you back much,
any how, as kicking's generally best to be
considered on You see old Brady is one of
these sanctimonious, long faced hypocrites,
who put on religious suit every Sabbath
morning, and with good deal of screwing
manage to keep it on till after sermon in the
morning; and as was Universalist, he alters
picked me out as subject for religious con.
versa,ion-and the darned hypocrite would
talk about hell and the devil-the cruciiction
and prayer, without ever winking. Wal, he
had an old roam mare that would jump any
fourteen rail fence in Illinois, and open any
door in any barn that hadn't paddock on it.
Two or three times found her in my stable,
and told Brady about it and he was very
sorry an unruly animal '--'w would watch
her. and a hull lot of such things, all said in
very serious manner, with face twice as
long as old Deacon Farrars on Sacrament day.
knew all the time he was lying, and so
watched him and his old roam tu; and for
three nights regular, old roam came to my sta
BILE about bed time, and just at daylight Brad.
ly would come, bridle her and ride of. then
just took my old mare down to blacksmilh's
shop, and had some shoes made with 'corks
about four inches long, AMI had 'em nailed to
her hind feet Your heels, mister, amt moth
ing to 'em. took her home, give her about
ten feet halter, and tied her right in the centre
Of the stable, fed her well with oats about
nine o'clock, and after taking good smoke
went to bed, knowing that my old mare was
truth telling animal, and that she'd give a
good report Of herself in the morning. hadn't
got fairly to sleep before the old 'oman haunch-
ed me and wanted TO know what on air,h was
the matter out at the stable. Says I. go TO
sleep, Peggy, it's nothing but Kate she is
kicking off flies, ! guess! Purity soon she
hunched me agin, and says she, MIR. Hitch
cock, du git up and see what in the world is
the matter with Kate, for she is kicking most
powerfully Lay still, Peggy-Kate will
take care Of herself, guess. Wal, the next
morning, about daylight, Brady, with bride
in hand, cum to the stable, and, as true as the
book of Genesis, when he saw the old roan's
sides, starn, and head, he cursed and swore
worse than you did, when came down on
your toes. After breakfast that morning, Joe
Davis cum to my house, and says he 'Bradlys
old roam is nearly dead-she's cut TO pieces
and can scarcely move Il want 10 know
says l, how on airth did it happen?' Now,
Joe Davis was a member of the same church
with Brady, and while we were talking, up
cum that eVerlastin' hypocrite, and says he,
Mr.. Hitchcock, my old roam is ruined!' 'Du
tell says l. She is cut all to pieces says
he; do you know whether she was in your
stable, Mr.. Hitchcock, last night?' Wall,
Mister, with this let out: Do l kno,o it 3
den advance upon the dandy, who made way
for him unconsciously, as il were)-Do know
it, you no.souled, shad. .bellied, squash h-headed,
old night-owl you?-you hay-hookin', corn
cribbin', fodder-fudgin cent-shavin', whiting
of.nothing you Kate kicks like a mere dumb
beast, but I've reduced the thing to science?
The Yankee had not ceased to advance, or the
dandy, in his astonishment to retreat; and
now, the motion of the latter accelerated by
an apparent demonstration on the part Of the
former to suit the action to the word he
found himself in the social hail. tumbling
backward over a pile of baggage, and tearing
the knees Of his pants as he scrambled up,
perfect scream Of laughter stunning him from
all sides. The defeat was total; few mo-
ments afterwards he was seen dragging his
own trunk ashore, while Mr.. Hitchcock finish
ed his story on the boiler-deck.
MAKING THE TOES USEFUL Roberts in his
Oriental Illustrations thus speaks of the active