Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1845-01-31

knows all about these things
Providence Gazette.
From the st. Louis ReveilIe.
Swallowing Oysters Alive.
BY SOLITAIRE.
A sUCKER-Hls FIRST OYsTER-swALLowING
| IT ALIVE TERRIBLE sITUATIoN-THE RES
| CUE-DIsAPPEARANcE.
AT late hour the other night, the door
of an oyster house in our city was thrust
open, and in stalked hero rom the Suck
er State. He was quite six feet high, spare,
somewhat stopped, with hungry, anxious
countenance, and his hands pushed clear
down to the bottom of his breeches pock-
cts. His outer covering was hard to de-
fine, but after surveying it infinitely, we
came to the conclusion that his suit had
been made in his boyhood, of dingy, yell
low linsey-woolsey, & that, having sprout-
ed up with astonishing rapidity, he had
been forced to piece 1t out with all colors,
in order to keep pace with his body. In
spite of his exertions, however, he had
fallen in arrears about a foot of the neces-
sary length, and, consequently, stuck that
far through his inexpressibles. His crop
of hair was surmounted by the funniest
little seal skin cap imaginable. After Ia
king position, he INDUCED in long stare
at the man opening the bivalves, and slow
ly eaculated--' listers
Yes, sir responded the attentive ope-
rator, and fine ones they are, too
well, I've hearn tell Of listers afore,'
says he, but this is the first time I've seed
'em, and prehaps I'll know what thar
made of afore I git out of town."
| Having expressed this desperate inten-
ton, he cautiously approached plate, and
scrutinized the uncased she'll fish with a
gravity and interest which would have
done honor to the most illustrious search
er into the hidden mysteries Of nature. At
length he began to soliloquize on the diff
Guilty Of getting them out, and how queer
they looked when out.
L never seed any thin hold on So
takes an amazin' site of screwin', boss,
TO get 'em out, and amt they slick and
slip'ry when they does come? Smooth
!, as an eel I've a good mind to give that
Teller lodgin's, jest to realize the effects,
as Uncle Jess used to say about spekela-
ton
well, SIR was the reply, down with
two bits, and you can have Dozen
1.-TWO bits = exclaimed the Sucker,
NOW, come, that's stickin' it on rite strong,
boss, for listers. A dozen on 'em aint
> nothin' to chicken, and there's no g.ttin'
i more'n picayune piece for them. I've
> only realized As picayunes on my frs
: ventur' to St, Louis. Fl! tell you what
S I'll gin you two chickens for dozen, j
g you'll conclude to DEAL
A wag, who was standing by lndulgne
in dozen, winked to the attendant tC
a shell ont, and the offer was accepted.
l. Now, mind repeated the Sucker
L all fair-two chickens for dozen-you'r RI
} witness, mlster,' turning at the same TIM
to the wag none Of your tricks, tor Nv
hearn tell that you city fellers are might,
h slip'ry coons.'
r. The bargain being fairly understood
our Sucker squared himself for the onse
it deliberately put off his seal-skin, tuck
K ed up his sleeves, and fork in hand await
/: ed the appearance of No. l. 1t came-h
IS saw-and quickly it was bolted ! A me
ments dreadful pause ensued. The wa
s dropped his knife and fork with look {
~ amazement and horror-something aki
n to Shakspeare's Hamlet on seeing his dat
:. dv's ghost-while he burst into the excl;
al nation
.Swallowed aiue! as I'm Christian
10 Our Sucker hero had opened his mout
70 with pleasure moment before, but now
* stood open. Fear-a horrid dread OF h
to didn't know what-a consciousness tn
all wasn't right, and ignorance of the e:
r. tent of the wrong-the uncertainty of tn
No. moment was terrible. Urged to desper
ton, he faltered out
no What on airth's the row.
nj Did you swallow it Glire 2 enquire
H. the wag.
Il swallowed it jest as he gin it to me
,lv shouted the Sucker.
80 You're a dead man. exclaimed h
~. anxious friend: the creature is akUe, al
III, will eat right through you,' added he,
most hopeless tone.
r. Cit pizen pump, and pump it out
orc screamed the Sucker, in frenzy, his ey
II. fairly starting from their sockets. 20
,co gracious !-whal'lll do Ills got hold