davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27
ADVICE TO A DAUGHTER.
BY REV. WIN. E. SPRAGU,

BY REV. WIN. Z. SPRAGUE.
Let me council you, never TO utter an ex-
preston, or do an act, which even looks like
soliciting any gentleman's attention. Remem-
Der that every expression of civilty, to be of
any value, must be perfectly voluntary; and
any wish on your part, whether directly or
indirectly expressed, to make yourself favor
ite, will be certain 10 awaken the disgust of
all who know it. would not recommend to
you any thing like prudish or affected re-
serve; but even this is not so unfortunate an
extreme, as an excessive forwardness. While
you SO modestly accept any attentions which
propriety warrants, let there be no attempt at
artful insinuation on one hand, or at taking a
mans heart by storm on the other.
Be not ambitious to be considered belle.
Indeed, had rather you would be almost any
thing else, which does not involve gross moral
obiquity, than this. 1t is the fate of most bellies
that they become foolishly vain, think of moth
lng' and care for nothing beyond personal dis
play; and not unfrequently sacrificing them
selves in mad bargain, which involves their
destinies for life. The more of solid and en-.
during esteem you enjoy, the better; and you
ought to gain whatever of this you can by
honorable means, but to be admired, caressed,
and fattered, for mere accidental qualities,
which involve nothing Of intellectual or moral
worth, ought to render any girl, who is the
subject Of it, an object of pity. You are at
liberty to desire the good opinion Of every
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27

USEFUL ADVICE TO SUNDRY PEOPLE.
When you are introduced TO stranger, be
sure to ask and find out all his business, and
pump as much out Of him as you can; because
questions are the very keys of knowledge.
You should always look ahead; therefore
never do to-day, that which you can do to-
morrow.
Always avoid selfshness; therefore, never
do that yourself which you can procure any
body else to do.
lfa secret be communicated to you, be very
careful to keep it; and, to make sure work of
it, get two or three to help you. ST
If you are unmarried, and in love, take to
writing verses ;nothing sooner gives patient
in such circumstances relief and comfort.
/ If your mistress be cruel, make some more
verses;pay no attention to rhyme or measure.
If you are married, give short answers to
your wife; for least said is soonest mended.
If you are not fond of her, look as cross as
you feel; nothing charms like sincerity.
When your wife is in passion, remember
and fly in one yourself; the way to stop fire
in the woods, is to kindle another to meet it,
and thus extinguish the whole.
Always mind and have the last word; be-
cause man of business should never leave'it
unfinished
Spend your evenings at the tavern; and then
your wife will be delighted to see you on your
return.
When you walk out with her, keep few
PAGES before her by way of eminence.
Tell her of her faults before folks; and then
others can have the benefit of your advice as
well as She
Never praise her for her virtues, lest it make
her vain and assuming.
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27
sELEcrED. D
From the Western Spectator.

MISFoRTUNES OF EMINENT MEN.
The misfortunes of eminent men form Gu
rious, and at the same time an interesting
matter of speculation. In this day of theorie:
and extensive induction, perhaps there could
be selected no wider field for their operation
than is here presented. The proposition tina
physical inability is absolutely requisite to dis
tinction in the higher walks of life, and espe
cially of literature, would at first seem will
and unreasonable; yet when we consider the
numerous instances that might be cited to in
proof of such proposition, we are convinced
that nothing more is wanting than the oily
tongue and suasive manner of some aspiring
Yankee, to settle at once its establishment.
Examples, indeed, are numberless. Scarcely
a literary man has lived but has, in some way,
been afflicted. 1t may not be physically, but
mentally; and the affection may not operate
directly upon himself, but some connected
closely and intimately with him; still he is
afflicted. There may, indeed, be cases where
this would seem to be untrue, yet minutes
examination of their private life and character
will, in almost any case, verify it.
Homer and Milton it is useless to mention,
poverty and persecution augmented in them
the misery of blindness. Gallileo is parallel
example. Lyctio Brabe, when but young
man, was deprived of his nose in duel by
the rapier of his antagonist; he afterwards
substituted in its place one Of brass, and con-
soled himself with the reflection, that it an
swered much better purpose in his astro-
nomical observations. Kepler died Of disease
which produced vacuum in the head, and
which had afflicted him years before his death.
Ossian was blind, Byron reel-footed, Johnson
groaned through life victim of St. Vitus'
dance and the scrofula. Shelby, the unfortu-
nate Shelby, was SO afflicted with spasms, as
at times to be entirely helpless Such was
also the case with Schiller.
Misfortune drove Chatterton to suicide. Sc
we're criticism only hastened the death of
Keats. Close application to study killed Kirk
White. The fate of Pollock was almost SIM
liar. Southey was unable to move his upper
eye-lids, and during the last three years of his
life was deranged. Our own famed Hoffman
was deprived of limb while yet boy. Miss
Landon accidentally killed herself by poison.
If we leave the literary world, examples yet
abound. Bonaparte died Of a cancer in the
breast. Hannibal and Lycurgus had each but
one eye. Pope was hunchbacked. Faust died
ofintemperance while yet middle-aged. Dante
was SO wofully melancholy as to be almost
deranged. Such was also the case with Com
ley. In France examples increase, and will
be afterwards cited to if opportunity occurs. Il
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27

BAR Roo1Is.-Why should there be bar
room in genuine Hotel? Is not the business
OF dealing out toddy, punch, sings, juleps, bit
tiers, &C., to every one who happens to have
hp and an appetite for strong drink, entirely
distinct from that of providing apartments,
beds, food, ay, and drink, if you please, for
travellers and boarders? Admit that hotel
should furnish its proper guests with whatever
they may see fit to pay for, even to rope and
pistol, in case they have a fancy for stepping
out of the world, why should it be house of
call and recreation for all the idlers and gen.
teel loafers of town! 1t may be very con-
yenient for gamblers, pimps, ETC., that the old
arrangement should continue, but it is mani
festly unpleasant for the more quiet inmates of
the house, especially the ladies and children
Why are bar rooms tolerated? We believe
not one remains in reputable hotel in Bos-
ton The United States, the largest and GER
tainly one Of the best, has no bars and needs
none. We presume those boarders who ask
for grog get it from some other region, but
nobody, other than boarder, can get any for
love or money. And it is necessary, as we
have heard urged to keep bar in order to
accommodate travellers on moderate terms
The United States affords the best of every
thing but Alcohol, (we speak so far as we
know,) and charges but 81 SO per day; and
the proprietors are very well satisfied with
their business. We believe it is much like
this in all the first rate hotels in Boston. One
consequence of the absence of legalized grog-
geries in that city is remarkable degree Of
general sobriety. We saw no man intoxicated
there during four days, when the city was
thronged and its streets filled with thousands.
Why should not tavern-keeping and grog-sell-
ing be divorced ?-PortLand Tribune
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27
THE SCOTCH MAJOR.

Some sixty or seventy years ago Scotch
Major, in the British army, was stationed at
Montreal, in Lower Canada. He had, from
his quarelsome disposition, fought several du-
els, and in every instance killed his man. In
deed, from his bullying reputation, he had ac-
quired such character, that it was deemed
the height Of folly for any one to contradict
bis word. u,H !.
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27

LIFE AND DEATH OF SExEs.-The laws of
life and mortality betwixt the sexes are very
remarkable. They are stated thus:
l. In the present condition of the white
population of the United States, the number
of females born per annum is about $4,000
less than the males. This determines of itself
that poygamy is not natural condition of
man, and that the laws of our religion and
nature are the same-that one man shall be
the husband of one woman.
2. At 20 years of age the females exceed
the males. This proves that between the
birth and 20 the mortality among the boys
has been much greater than that among the
girls.
g. From 90 to 40 the men again exceed the
women, which shows that this is the period
Of the greatest mortality among women.
4. From 40 to 10 the difference rapidly di-
minishes, the females, as in the early part,
gaining on the males. This shows that this
is the period of greatest danger and exposure
to men, the least to the women.
5. From 10 onward the women outnumber
the. men. This shows conclusively that, rela-
lively speaking, in comparison with men, the
healthiest period of female life is at the close
Of it. Absolutely, however, no period to either
sex is so healthy as that Of youth-the blosm-
ing period of boyhood and girlhood
The above deductions of statistical tables
correspond with every day observations Of
human life.
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27

gentleman Of your acquaintance, but it would
be worse than folly in you to be ambitious OF
blind admiration.
will only add, that you ought to be on
your guard against the influence of f1attery.
Rely on it, the man who Aatters you is not
your friend
1t were much kinder office, and real
mark Of friendship, to admonish you tenderly,
yet honestly, of your faults. If you yield a
little to fattery, you have placed yourself on
dangerous ground if you continue to yield,
you are not improbably undone.
MARRhGE.-No subject is more deeply
fraught with the JOY or anguish Of the heart,
the happiness or distress of families, the peace
or misery of society, than marriage. 1t min
giles its cup of contentment or sorrow with all
our sensbilities; it pervades our natures, and
all our relations 10 heaven and earth with its
influences, and il we have been fortunate in
their choice, hope has buoyancy, the heart an
energy, and the. arm vigor, that unabating
force can struggle with lifes varying pros
poets; but if unfortunate, our life has suffered
an eclipse Of deep and sombre shade; and, in
the reality of misery, the heart relinquishes
all its long cherished hopes and ideal faculties,
and asks for the refuge and solace of that di-
vorce which death alone can give.
In marriage there should be congeniality
OF affection and feeling. No lady should ever
pledge her hand to one who has not her heart.
From this principle she should not be seduced
by wealth, or fame, or talents, or misled by
oficious friends. Her individual happiness is
at stake, and her choice, which is to fix her
destiny for life, should be, do not say unad-
vised, but certainly, unconslrained by others.
There is too often ONE sad heart amid the fes-
tive Joy of the hymenial hour. The heart
feels as if the decorations of the scene were
its fillets for the alter of sacrifice. The hand,
under foreign dictation and control, is yielded
to one, but the heart has irrecoveraby fixed
its choice upon another AS well might phi
losophers attempt to control the magic influ-
ence of gravitation, as parents or guardians
attempt to awaken and divert the channel of
a devoted heart, by their own mercenary
views Fatal have been the consequences,
when parental authority has compelled a
merely licensed union, for which the heart
felt cherished disgust. The ovelest forms
have thus sunk into an untimely grave, under
the silent, but fatal influence Of a withered
and blighted heart. While parents, who
have thus married the persons of their daugh-
tiers to houses and lands, and silver and gold,
and thus inundated their affections upon the
altar of Mammon, have committed an act of
cruelty to their children, and fragrant out
rage upon the design Of the marriage union,
for which no future kindness or repentance
can fully atone. And what can be said for the
woman who is so base as to marry for money?
nothing! she deserves the sympathy of no
honorable person.
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27
THIS DAY!
ALEXANDRIA LOTTERY.
u S IS, ,000!! 81

CLASS 80, FOR 1845.
To be drawn in Alexandria, D. c., on Saturday,
September 81, l845.
rs number Lottery-13 draaon ballots.
BRILLIANT SCHEME!!
| prize of $4,000 prize of s25,OoO
:, ooo do ooo $4,000 ! do. 10000
u 50 prizes of $l 900. ~
&c. &c. &c.
Tickets 20-Halves $l0-Qrs. $5-Eighths 80 SO
Certificate of package Of 26 whole tickets $500
Do. do. - 2G half do. 1870
Do. do. 26 quarter do. 65
Do. do. 26 eghths do. 32A
For tickets and shares, and certificates of pack
ages in any Of the Alexandria Lotteries, direct
your orders to J. RAYMOND,
Corner of Pennsylvania avenue and 9th street,
Washington, D. c.
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27
II HIS DAY!
{15 IS, 900! =G}

Glass 80, for 1S45.
To be drawn in Alexandria, u. c., on Saturday,
September 81, l845.
GRAND CAPITALS!
$4,000 Dollars $4,000 Dollars
10 of $4,000, 90 Of Sl,75O, 20 of $500
~ so prizes of $1,000 SO
SC. &c. SC.
rs number Lottery-13 drawn ballots.
Tickets $2O-Halves $l0-Qrs. $5-Eighths $2 SO
Certificates of packages of 26 whole tickets $3.50
Do do 26 half do 100
Do do 26 quarter do 65
Do do ,26 eighths 32l
Orders for Tickets and Shares and Certificates Of
Packages, in the above splendid Lotteries will re-
ceive the most prompt attention, and an official
account Of each draoing sent Immediately after it
Is over to all who order from
A. w. KIRKWOOD, -
One door east of Browns Hotel, I
Washington, DC.
The Washingtonian., 1845-09-27

SUMMER ARRANGEMENT.
a1iual and departure Of the Washington and .4era,,-
dria Steamboats,.
Leave Alexandria, at 8, lOz, Il, 81, and S. o'clk.
Leave Washington at 9, IL, q, a., and 81 o'cIk.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27
The Philosophers stone.

The eccentric, but brilliant John
Randolph, once rose suddenly up in
his seat in the House Of Representa-
tives, and screamed out at the top of
his shrill voice-"Mr. Speaker! Mr.
Speaker have discovered the Philos-
ophcr's Stone. II is-pay as you CO."
John Randolph dropped many
gems from his mouth, bat never rich
er one than that.
"Pay as you co." and you need not
dodge constables and shcriffs.
"Pay as you co. aud you can
walk the streets with an erect back
and manly front, and have no fear Of
those you meet. You can look any
man in the eye without ninching You
won't have to cross the shop windows
to avoid seeing creditor.
"Pay as you co." and you can snap
your finger at the world, and when
you laugh, 1t will be a hearty honest
one. 1t seems to US sometimes that
we can almost tell the laugh Of a poor
debtor. lie looks around as though he
was in doubt whether his laugh was not
the property Of his creditors, and not
included in the articles exempted
from attachment" When he does
succeed in getting out an abortion Of a
laughter it is nothing but an abor-
tion--hc appears frightened, and looks
as though he expected it would be
pounced upon by constable.
Pay as you CO." and you will
meet smiling faces at home--happy,
cherry checked, smiling children
contented wife--a cheerful hearth
stone. 3a sa
John Randolph was right. II is the
Philosophers Stone. ~ ,-aas saa
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27
California;.

The northern part Of California is
said to be as fine a country as Kentuc-
ky, with a milder climate, ms the lati-
tude 40 on the Pacific agrees with the
same latitude in southern Europe
There are Indians on the well wood
ed streams who have never seen the
face Of a white man, and north Cali
fornia is capable Of supporting popu
lation as large as the whole southern
States. II is remarked by Humboldt,
that the people of the provinces of
New Spain are altogether dissimilar to
the mixed and Indian race Of .he
southern provin ces, and that an ire
concilable antipathy prevails between
them. The northern Mexicans are Of
the purcst white race, from the north
ern part Of Spain, descendants Of the
Goths OF Biscay and CASTLE, akin 10
the Saxon. Patty, in his narrative,
speaks of the great facility with which
the Americans are incorporated and
assimilated with the Spaniards Of the
internal proyinces.-lBalt. Rep.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27

.4rtic Erpcdifion.-We stated in
our last that Sir John Franklin and his
ships had been heard from as late as
July IL, near Greenland, in warm
weather, surrounded with ice bcrgs.--
A correspondent says on the 10Th OF
June, "whcn we entered Davis
Straits it became very fine, and we
saw the stupendous mountains of West
Greenland, covered with ice and snow;
also, three large ice bergs, which in a
few days thickencd upon us, but
fortunately, we had generally leading
winds, which enabled US to thread
them without any danger. We left
the discovery ship at Whaleii.h Islands,
Disco, on the 18th, all in good health
and high spirits as to their future en-
terprize--full Of hope rs 10 their ulti-
mate success. They arc famous strong
ships, well manned, and impossible to
be better differed. We left them
complete in full three years provis-
ions, stores and fuel, besides five bull
locks, which we killed there for them
IN. Y. Sun.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27
Something Funny.

AT the Catham Theatre, New York.
more bloody, rcd-and-blue fire sort of
plays are gotten up than in any other
city in the Union. They recently
produced a Drama in which famous
robber is taken and beheaded, and his
head is exhibited TO the audience by
being placed on table in the centre
of the stage. To accomplish this TO
the life, the robbers body is fixed in
the centre Of the table. and his neck is
fitted into hole in the centre Of the
leaf, so that 10 the audience it looks
precisely as though the mans hea had
been cut of and stood up in a pool Of
its own blood upon the table. On the
fifth night Of the exhibition, a wag got
into the third tier Of the stage boxes,
and by some unexplained manGuvrc,
managed TO blow lot of Scotch snuff
over the stage just at the time the head
was placed upon the table. AS soon
as the snuff had began TO settle down,
the head commenced sneezing could
not be stopped, the curtain fell amid
roars Of laughter and confusion Rev
ellie.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27

TIE .4ppies Of .Sodom In the
Crescent and the Gross, we find the
following passage:
"On resuming our desert path, we
picked up some apples of Sodom, that
lay strewn upon the desert, without
apparent connection with any stcm.--
They were Of bright golden green
color, about the size Of an orange
but perfectly round and smooth; they
gave the idea of being swollen out
with the richest juice, that when Bit
ten must gush out TO meet the thirsty
lip; you crush thisplausible rind, how
ever, and cloud Of fetid dust bursts
forth, which leaves only few cinders
MS residue"
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27

Quince.-Our friend Vinton says
that this fruit should remain on the
tree until frost comes. IL not only ac-
auires better flavor thereby, but is
also much more tender when prescrv-
ed. This is among our best preserves,
and a little care should be given to the
subject. This fruit was more esteemed
by the Romans than by the moderns.
Columella says, ounces not only pro-
duce pleasure, but health. 1t is an old
notion that this fruit is good for asth-
matte patients.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27
NO. 90.

er the nature Of the lower strata Of the
soil.
The scientific agriculturalist, who
possesses the most precise and accurate
ideas of the classification and good
ness of the land, and who understands
the different relations according to
which it should be examined, ought not
the less to be acquainted with their or
binary classification, and with the
names by which practical men are in
the habit of ranging and distinguish
ing them, whether generally, or in
particular districts, in order that he
may not be at loss when he is treat
ing for the purchase of property OF
this description.
The division of land into good, mid
ding and bad, is general and natura!
but it is purely relative.
Tenacious clay has been often rank
ed in the first class; and lighter soil,
and even calcareous earth, in tie
second. Other persons have given the
preference, and very justly. to the lat
ter, because, in the cultivation which
is associated with pasturage, more re-
gard is paid to the soil which best pro-
notes the spontaneous growth of the
heritage; while in the former the
growth of corn is the only object re-
garded.
Sometimes a Specification similar to
the above is given to the comparative
expressions heavier and lighter; but
these terms are then merely used to
denote the tenacity of the soil and the
degree Of resistance which it offers tc
the plough and the harrow.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27

Frederic the Great, after a very ter
riblc engagement asked his officers:
who behaved most intrep:dly during
the contesti' The preference was u
unanimously given to himself. you
are all Mistaken replied the King;
the boldest fellow was a fifer, whom
passed twenty times during The engage
ment, and he did not vary a note the
whole time.'
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27

Lar reiating TO .SfrayS If the
owner OF any stray be unknown, the
taker up shall give notice thereof by
publication in some newspaper in the
county for four weeks successfully
sid notice 10 contain a brief descrip-
ton OF the stray, the name Of and res
idenee of the taker up, and as near as
may be, the time at which il was taken
up.--[Latgs Of HisconSfn of 1910,
page 81.
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27

Learning IN Youth.-Walter Scott
in narrative of his personal history,
gives the following caution to youth:
"If it should ever fall the lot of
youth to peruse these pages, let such a
reader remember that it is with the
deepest regret that / recollect in my
manhood the opportunities OF learning
which | neglected in my you'll h; that
through every part Of my literary ca
recr, have felt pinched, hampered by
my own ignorance; and | would at this
moment give half the reputation which
| have had the good fortune to acquire,
if by so doing, could rest the remain
ing part upon a sound and sure founda-
ton Of learning and science"
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27
Boned.-An unfortunate Landlord

BoLIed.-An unfortunate landlord
going round TO collect his rents, sent
his servant forward to prepare his ten
ants for his visit On reaching the
residence of one, he found his servant
taking a survey.
"What's the matter, John" said he,
4" is the door boltcd."
"NO, SIR" said John, Jut the ten
ant is.r'
Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-09-27

The Railroad from Cincinnati to
Xenia, Ohio, is now in operation, and
for the first time since the world was
made, Inc distance from Cincinnati 20
Columbus was accomplished on the
20lh Of August, by daylight.