The Woodstock age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1844-1845, 1845-04-24

THE DUKES PlNEAPrLE.--biRTho OF
PRINCE OF WALES.
Nv next remove was lar westward. ]
became the property Of the ieather-mer-
chant 10 the court; or, as the tradesman
himself delighted to bIazon in gold letters
over his shop.door, 'Plumassier to their
Macsies. confess felt myself some
wha, Inundated by the il.report of Mr.
Flamingo, who, in his dealing with Mlrl-
am JACOBSON this occasion ambassadress
from her sire in the Minories-protested
that was the inferior article Of the whole
lot; and that no pains of cleaning and
dressing would ever enable me to return
sixpense TO my purchaser This melan-
choIy feeling, however, gave place to bet
ter hopes, when, on the departure of the
Jewess-Miriam had been compelled by
the hard chaffering Of the ieather-mer-
chant tothrow a green monkey into the
bargain, fer the especial delectation OF the
Youngest Miss Flamingo-my new master
selected me from my companions, and
shaking me tenderly, asked the wife OF
his bosom, if ] wasn't perfect beauty
This pleasing hattery was, moreover, ade-
qna,ely responded to by Mrs Flamingo,
who, with gIistenng eyes, declared me
quite lovep
have already said, Mr. Flamingo was
fea,hcr-seller to the court of Great Britain.
He felt, intensely felt, the surprising I'M
portance of his position. His very soul
seemed plumed with the dignity. Hence,
like my parent ostrich, he would, when
full oflhe consciousness Of his greatness,
scarcely tread the shop-hoor, but, rails.
ell upon the wings, or winglets, of his
self-conceit, halfAy, hall.walk. 1t was
the religion of Peter Flamingo, that the
whole moral and social condition Of man
depended solely upon feathers. Nay, |
believe it to have been his inner creed
that plumes were not so much designed
for kings and mobiles, as that po,entates and
peers we're especially sont into this world
for plumes. say, inner creed; because
my experience of mankind has convinced
me that here are some people who have
an outside falh-coverrg faith, in the
same way that jugglels have box within
box, the last in its small sanctuary gen.
orally containing the conjnred shilling
When Peter Flamingo read or heard Of
!he possible perfeclibili:y of man, | am
certain that man appeared to him like a
Poland cock, with natural crest of feath-
ers. With this faith, it was consequent
that Mr. Famingo should pay profoundes'
reverence to those privileged to wear the
artificial glory, such reverence being at
the prime cost Of those whom fate had rig
orously denied that proud advantage
Hence the reader can imagine the sepa.
rate places of the Marchioness Of Mamma
vile born to the right of plumed coronet,
and of Patty Butler, also born to the duty
OF dressing fealhers--can conceive their
separate conditions in the mind of Mrs.
FIamingo. The marchioness was crea-
ture apart-a glory TO be numbered with
the stars of heaven; the feather-dresser,
mere weed of earth, millions of miles away
from that starry presence. Therefore,
like a good enny-turning Chaldean,
Flamingo thought. to properly worship the
star, he must tread upon the weed.
Mr. FIamingo, in'the observance of this
faith, did at times forget the mere naked
meaning of words, substituting another set
of sylIabes for the only set rightly called
for by the occasion. In homespnn phrase,
Flamngo was liar; but then his lies, if |
must call them so, were used to the very
hes, advantage. He dressed himself in
falsehood bnt then he looked all the bet
ter for it. He made positive gold leaf Of
his untru,hs, which cast a lusture upon
him, covered, as he would still be covered,
with borrowed radiance. Being feather
seller to the court, he was, of course, init
mate with the whole peerage lie would,
ut moment, cast you up the number OF
dimples to be found in the cheeks and
chins of countesses-would infinitely de-
scribe to you the hangings and furniture
ofevery best bedroom of every nobleman's
mansion in the kingdom, he, in the course
of his gorifving profession, having been
an honoured guest thereat. With him
true friendship was flower that was only
to be pucked from the gardens OF nobil-
ity and this flower FIamingo was forever
twisting between his lips, or sporting in his
but,on-hole. MY friend, the marquis
MY most excellent friend. the duke, -
MY worty acquaintance, the baronet!-
Thus continually spoke FIamiugo; and so
speaking, he thought he let fall diamonds
and rubes from his tongue for the world to
wonder at.
A man with so many, and such friends,
had, Of course, frequent evidences that
friendship was not what the poetic cynic
calls it. only "a name BY no means; to
Flamingo, it was sometimes turbot-
sometimes turkey. His friend the mar
quis would now and then appear upon the
leather-d resser's table in the no, less al
irac,ive though twin shape Of brace of
pheasants: his most excellent friend the
duke has smoked upon the board, in the
solid beauty of a haunch Of venison. OF
all men in the world, Flamngo would have
been the last to deprive the peerage Of
their proxies. More: how often did some
exalted dowagsr appear in rich and can