Holly Springs gazette., 1845-02-22
THE ETIoUETTE OF
COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.
BY LADY BLEssINaToN.

.
nifty. he Is an lmitator, and commonly y
very poor one, of the vain and hearlless
who have gone before him. He is gener'
ally laughed at by both sexes. and what
would be more annoying TO his self fcompla-
cency, by those whom he seeks to con-
quer- No one thinks seriously about him,
excepting when he succeeds in sacrificing
the peace of some victim to his sel6shness
and vanity.
Aiyoung man should Be very careful
how ne boasts=of his qualifications, DO they
what they may, his fair critics will be sure
to find out his real pre,ensions. They are
quick to intuition in matters of this nature.
and their skill in making fop and boast
er ridiculous. is. far greater han that pos.
sessed by men. He who is in the habit of
talking before the fair sex of his accom>
plishments, courage. connexions and espe'
c:ally of his gallantries, is generally weak
aud not very truthful pretender, and those
who hear, know and test him accordingly.
To enter with seeming candor into the
society OF ladies. and then to mistake the
mere amensities of good breeding for espe.
clal attentions, is the part of patiable vanity,
but to affect to mistake such kindness for
feelings of deeper interest, and then to make
these assumed conquesls, the subject of
boaSting in other quarters, is the part of a
mean and dishonorable man, in whose face
the nenials OF respectable families should DO
Instructed to shut the door. He is beneath
The attention of fathers and brothers, aud
the natural protectors of weakness and innoa
cence.
DREss.-In dress, lover must be guild.
ed by his good sense and taste. more than
by any rules which can be laid down. Ex-
tremes, however, should be avoided Ex-
cesslve elaborateness in dress is absurd,
where intercourse is frequent and confden-
tiai, while carelessness is disrespectful 1t
would be ridiculous to see young man
dressed out on every visit as for levee day
| or drawing room; but certainly it would
not be complimentary to appear always in
undress, as If the trouble OF moderate deco
ration was more than the occasion required.
An elegant and manly simplicity, is per.
haps the best standard, particularly where
the lady has dlscernment and taste.
PROPOSAL To THE LADY.-When a
young man admi-es lady, and thinks her
society necessary to his happiness, il Is
proper before committing himself, Cr indu.
cling the object of his admiration to do so,
TO apply to her Parents or Guardians for
permission 20 address her this is a becom-
ing mark of respect, aud the circumstance
must be very particular which would jus>
tIfv deviation from this course. This
mode of proceeding is perfectly consistent
with the highest regard and moreover in
dicates an honorable and delicate concern
for the feelings and happiness ofthe lady.
Should parents or Guardians prove unrea'
sonable and obstinately hostile it will still
be a source of satisfaction, and will prevent
subsequent reproach that no point of re-
spectful and honorable observance has
been wilfully omitted.
There is no rule without an exception,
especially in matters of the heart, and
there may be circumstances in which an
attachment is formed, 50 rapidly and i'm
perceptibly, that the affections are engaged
and mutual pledges virtually if not actually
exchanged, before any considerations OF
prudence have had time to be weighed.
This state OF things is always undesirable,
though perhaps not always 10 be guarded
against. When matters have proceeded
the length described, ii then becomes the
gentleman to lose no tine in commuEica>
ting with the Parents or Guardians of the
young lady. frank ly stating his wishes and
making known his pretensions and propo-
sails.
Everything secret ard unacknowledged
is to be avoided, as the reputation of clan
destine intercourse is always more or less
injurious through life. The romance e.
vaporates, bu: the memory of discretion
survives.
When the rank OF the parties is unques-
tionable or in favor of tie gentleman, the
usual and proper mode is for him to make
known his wishes to his own Parents or
| Guardians. and to request them if favora-
| bic, to communicate with the Parents or
Guardians, of the young lady. As it is
presumed in such cases lha. no objections
as to fortune or relative rank will be taken.
the affair may be the subject of a regular
and equal negotiation.