Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-11-08
PETE TIFF.
Worked out, middle, bottom, both
ends, and the pockets!

ends, and the pockets!
| You has seen me afore somewhat! Wen
'spose IFS likely you has; was born thar
NV name is Pe,er--or Pete for short. But
| Pm no kin TO Salt Pere of The firm Of Brlm-
stone, Charcoal g. Salt Petre, who made SO
much noise in the Revolutionary war. I'll be
blowed il | am! Bot il amt SAT- Peire,
may be Pm slightly eorned some times. Oh.
blazes, but amt dry nowl Poverty has laid
an embargo on Peie's throat. Id be glad Of
most any thing that's wet. ! wouldn't be as
particular as Dives was-a glass of hot sfuD
wouldn't set Pete back any. There amt no
more Of the genewine Rock River" to be got
now a,days-ihey ruinates all the wbiskey by
mixing brandy with it. can't ge, no whole
some liquor. | can't get no liquor. I'm pafch.
ed as dry as powder cask land Pm afeard my
hoops will drop off and shall cure in. Swal-
lowed a lead, Oh yes, to be sure ! have
swallowed several leads. You see my neck
is so short, lead runs through it. like fun
neil if I'd had neck as long as cart rut,
might have been swallowing yet. Leads
peter, but thirst don't. | wish my neck was
only still worm ofindefnile longth. Seems
TO me The mineral is all evaporated. They
tell about leads not running well; by gimny
I'd like 10 find one that runs slow enough for
me TO overtake it. The Cornish and the y an
KEGS has skeered 'em clean ont of The country
/ 10 hoe he hnHaln Entkc
has qui, calling me Mr. Tiff Here Use been
borrowing abou, in the ground every where be.
tween Galena and Blue, and between Blue
and Dubuque, anytime these twenty years -
Now look at my present circumstances. Pros
pected TOO much! Yes TO be sure i did; and
so did Moses, and we both slipped mp ont.
I'm old Pete now. When my mineral peiered
why they all Petered me- If so be | gets
lead, why I'm Mr.. Tiff again. That's the
talk! But can't ge, no more mineral. Now
il is dig. dig, dig, drill, drill for nothing. My
luck is clean goue-iapered down to nothing
and amt nobody. Why. used to could
strike mineral just when id pleased. I've
forgot how il sounds to be called Mr. Tiff. I've
been so long petered. I've got so ] look as
evacuated as an old lead worked clean out in
the middle. bottom, both ends and all the
pockets. I've sunk holes enough well, SO
the foxes has holes. and like mine. nothing in
EN-. Pu, that in my pipe and smoke il! My
pipe grows brefer as my grief gets longer
I'm get,in sorter desperate, am. Wouldn't
like for to put a big blast OF powder under
the scalp of This county, and flop it over into
Iowa Teuitoryl Wooldnt | devilOp these
here mineral recoursesl Ha. the weemeu
amt nothing TO me. never shall be able TO
ge, lease Of one. No, but what I'm nay
Iturally handsome-but I've no lead and they
all nose it. wants every thing-a point OF
scythe to CO, my beard wilh-and a pint of
whiskey 10 cut the cob.webs out of my throat,
or else two yards Of windlass rope for era.
vat.
Mineral is upl yes, 10 be sure it is; but
Pete is dorm, Never credit no more for bill.
lizards, brandy or tobacco. Why used to
could go to Galena clean-no I'll take that
word back-plum fiat broke, with daub Of
ochre on my hat, and every merchant met
was ready TO ford rcililies. My throat is as
dry as Dutch hand organ. Wonder if ]
could grind out biz Of song,
Times is not as they used TO was
When we poor lads could make our own laws
Before the land shark and the hyena
Had go, possession Of Galena;
When tick was had on the strength of ochre
And nothing wants said aein grog and poker.
Oh. dear. oh. dear, can't bot groan
For them good old times, if | can I'll be blown
Old Snake Hollow, once scaly as sin.
Has stuffed her name as we'll as her skin;
t Each house in Plaueville's got a sieeple,
} SO very piOus has got all the peoples
t And Shake Rsg never more viii nuuer
Her rags away down in that gutter.
, Oh dear, oh dear! l can't bnt lament
I For the good old days hats gone and went.
] Sing hi! sing ho. | can't but grieve
| For the good old days Of Adam and Of Eve.
For the Herald.
Road 10 Potosi.