American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1845-01-03
From the st. Louis RevelIe.l
SWALLOWING OYSTERS ALIVE


At late hour, the other night, the door Of
an oyster house in our city was thrust open,
and in stalked a hero from the Sucker State
He was quite six feet high, spare, somewhat
stopped, with hungry, anxious countenance
and his hands pushed clear down to the bottom
of his breeches pockets. His outer covering
was hard to define; but after surveying it mi
nutely, we came to the conclusion that his suit
had been made in his boyhood, of dingy, yell
low linsey-woolsey, and that, having sprouted
up with astonishing rapidity, he had been fore
ed to piece it out with all colors, in order to
keep pace with his body. In spite of his exer-
l.ions however, he had fallen in arrears about a
foot of the necessary length, and consequently,
stuck that far through his inexpressibles. His
crop of hair was surmounted by the funniest
little seal skin cap imaginable. After taking a
position, he INDUCED in a long stare at the man
opening the Oiualues, and slowly CALCULATED
AIsters?'
eyes, SIR" responded the attentive operator
land fine ones they are, too"
"Well, I've hearn tell of listers afore," says
he, 4'but this is the fust time I've seed 'em, and
pre-haps I'll know what thar made of afore
git out Of town."
Having expressed this desperate intention, he
cautiously approached a plate, and scrutinizet
the uncased shell-fsh with a gravity and in
terest which would have done honor to the
most illustrous searcher into the hidden mys.
teries of nature. At length he began to solilo.
quize on the difficulty of getting them out, and
how queer they looked when out.
81 never seed any thin hold on so-'takes an
a-mazin' site of sorewln', boss, to get 'em out
and amt they slick and slip'ry when they does
come? Smooth as an eel. I've good mind
to give that fellar lodgins, jest to realize the
effects, as uncle Jess used to say about speke-
lation."
"Well, SIR" was the reply, "down with two
bits, and you can have Dozen"
"Two bits!" exclaimed the Sucker, snow
come, that's stickin' it on rite strong, boss, for
listers. A dozen on em amt nothing to chick
en-, and there's no gittn' more'n picayune a
piece for them. I've only realized forty-fve
picayunes on my first ventur' to st. Louis. III
tell you what, I'll gin you two chickens for a
dozen, if you'll conclude to deal"
wag, who was standing by induging in q
dozen, winked to the attendant to shelI-out, and
the offer was accepted.
NOW mlnd,' repeated the Sucker, call fair
two chickens for dozen-you're witness,
mister" turning at the same time to the wag;
''none Of your tricks, for I've hearn tell that
you CITY lelldTs uIe thity s'ip ~ CooHS'
The bargain being fairly understood our
Sucker squared himself for the enset-deber-
ately put off his seal skia, tucked up his sleeves,
and fork in hand, awaited the appearance Of
No. /. It uame-he saw-and quickly it was
boted A moments dreadful pause ensued.-
The wag dropped his knife and fork with a
look of mingled amazement and horror-some-
thing akin to Shakspeare's Hamlet on seeing
Z. L
clamation--
"Swallowed alipe, as Pm christian"
Our Sucker hero had opened his mouth with
pleasure a moment before, but now it stool
open. Fear-a horrid dread Of he didn't know
what-a consciousness that all wasn'tright, ant
ignorance of the extent of the wrong-the un
certainty ofthat moment was terrible. Urget
to desperation he falterod out
"What on airth's the rowl''
"Did you swallow it alire?'' enquired tn
wag.