The New era. [volume] ([Portsmouth, Va.]) 1845-1847, 1845-09-02
DICK BAKERS OPINION OF THE


'O'ON bthT4o - ot1NlON OE lHE
! WORLD.
~ be hanged said Dick, '' if this aint
beautiful world. after all but, like dandy's
dIcky, 1t amt what il Seems-irs all collar and
ooS"m-hnt when Teller comes to examine it, the
material part is wanting-t ani 90, no body and
sleeves NOW, I'D he willin' to enjoy myself
as any teller In existence. but Gus it, the world
won't give me fair shake for liant il too bad Q
: believe with Jue lowell that the world owes
every one Twin. | swear she owes il to me.
and IN blamed If she shall take the benefit of the
bankrupt law, either-'cause she's cot assets o.
nough To meet all her engagements. if she'd onlv
make iair distribution of them Why should
John Jacob Astor and such folks have any nrivi
legged claims on here | say again let her make
fair surrender of all she's got. and Pm wiln' TO
sign her certificate, and give her clear dis
charge from membranes. But Just : saw again
look at the world-isn't it, repeat, beautiful
world! lfTeXas, Oregon or California had never
been attached, wouldn't it be still splendid
world with them isn't it magnificent! And
yet Teller can't get along unless he's shaveror
Spectator. or has an unlimited credit with as
Surance. and has, consequently, any stack Of il
always on hand. If assurance hunored nv drafts.
wouldn't care a fig for nobody, cause | reck'n
I'D been member of Congress, or missionary
preacher, or a temperance lecturer long apo but
she wouldn't and here | am. Dick Baker lust as
; l commenced, as stationary if | was a statue of
"''H'"''"HV' "Hle all ine WOTl0, ceDt those
own school. are uavelln on to FORUM as quick
as If they was many locomotives. | wish some
OF them would find Il mlotirc for takn' me alone.
hut no-,hey passes by without savin' there Won
are, Dick tell you it's too bad If was an
Archlnedean screw, or a magnetic telegraph, or
any OF these here new inventions, they'd soon in
tereSt themselves in my behalf-they'd take stock
In ne, and I'D be sure TO rise-''
. es, and you'll be sure to rise in anv case"
said the Watchman \yhn had hoo, Cor
lhongh unknown TO the speaker listening to Dick
bakers ethical distractions. Suitng the action
10 the word, he made him rise from his seat and
accompany him to the Baronne street watch
house.-Picayme.
"CooL HOWEVER" On Friday night the
house of Giles W. Porter, in Albany, was burola
r'ouSIy entered. The robber got little for bis
pains as the valuables had been safely secured.
lie forced the locks ofthe sideboard and closets in
the basement. How disappointed he was at the
! result, may be Judged from the following commu-
n'caton he left behind him, written on the case
ment on the front door:
! " If had had chisel your silver would have
gone to damnatlon, or in other words in the crnci-
nle. w hat was done done with knife
ms is my first crack. DON'T offer reward'
AWKWARD PREDIcAMENr.-The laws IS
FLORIDA impose heavy penalty on all persons
who get married without license from the clerk
OF me county court of the county in which thew
reside. The legislature have abolished those
courts, but have made no provision for the GRANT
ing of marriage licenses! The Mobile Herald
thinks that the Legislature acted knowingly in
the premises. and that they designedly compel
lhe Iair fiorldans to carry out the state motto
- Let us alone" There is one satisfaction. that
the Governor is bachelor, and will himself have
10 teel the effects of his insidious legislation
strange Suicide is mentioned in the Plate
deS CatradoS. mason of Brison being unable
L" pay bill of 852 francs, which he had endors
ed Tor friend, resolved TO kill himself, and inmp-
ca mo well. He was SEEM and rope being
thrown to him a sudden love fife made him as'
cend; when, just he was about to EMERGE from
tne we'll he heard the voice of his wife, and ex
claiming" All ah is it YOU % Well
then adleu % dropped again into the well, and
was drowned.
| Rev. Dr. Beecher, describing in public add
dress the character of ministers needed al the
| west. said
| when the strong, EDITORIAL, pungent and dis
eliminating preaching of Baxter and Edwards.
! gives place to the mooDshine and nocturnal rain
bows and mysticism which no human mind can
comprehend, delivered by men with rinDs on thar
! lIIiy hngers, holding cambria handkerchie(s to
eyes lhat never wept for sin, then farewell TO the
hre OF the altar, farewell to the true reviyals of
religion, farewell to the salvation of the souls If
, men =
from the Petersburg Republican