Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1845-12-18

the excitement of his nature and the dis
quietude of his temperament, that not one
yet that have read or heard of, can boast
of this philosophy. Well, have grown to
be man, and pretty old one too. When
entered upon the busy scenes of life, In
, stead of finding happiness, as had expect
ed, | found that my trials and troubles had
lust commenced. | was verdant, and the
world took me in. From practical expe-
rience, however, | have learned many les
sons of wisdom. Being left by my rela-
tives some little property, | no sooner came
into possession of it than | was disposses-
sed by the overreaching cupidity of tricky
neighbor. I had, up to this time, looked
upon all men as honest; but verdant youth
must be my plea for SO great ignorance,
Being now poor, and having been thus badly
treated by the world in the outset, deter
mined to retaliate, if | could by imposing
upon the world. So, looking one day over
book containing some Of the acts of As
sembly, which had belonged to some of my
ancestors, discovered that the Legislature
of Maryland had passed an act authorizing
ouacks to charge for professional services
in the same manner as regular-diplomaed
musicians; so, thinks /, here is chance
for me. | had read, when at school, an
ABRIDGED work upon physiology and anato-
nv, had peeped into Materin Medca, and
caught up few jaw-breaking techncalltles
from an intimate friend who was doctor
in full practice. The only difficulty with
me was to get into practice-that once done,
felt confident my fortune was made. 1t
would not do, knew, to attempt my skill
in the neighborhood resided, for was too
we'll known there to practice imposition
So determined to pack off Immediately to-
a place in the country where | was stran-I
ger, which learned was very unhealthy,I
and where there was great opening tor a.
good physician. Having disposed OF the
few. remaining chattels which were left me,
first purchased horse, then bought my
medicines, which consisted Of salts, rhu-
barb, caIomel and jalap; the proper use oil
neither of which medicine ! knew, but
merely the fact that they were medicines. j
likewise laid in large stock OF phlals OF
various Sizes together with many small
boxes, which ! labelled with hard names,
and into which | put herbs of different
kinds, coIored water, the extract of tobac-
CO, brickdust, chalk, and every odd thing II
could think of. Thus prepared, | set out
for the village B., where had concluded toI
open my office. Having reached there IN
safety, took up my abode with very de-
cent landlady, and rented of her small
room in which placed my medicines and
used as shop. The first three or four
days | spent in arranging my office and in
preparing card for the public, which IN a.
short time appeared in the village paper. Il
published myself as continental physician
who had visited all the great medical schools
in Europe, and who had practised in the
largest hospital in Paris for three years. Il
started new theory in practice, where all
diseases could be cured with resortIng but
seldom to medicine particularly specified
nv skill in curing chronic diseases, and,
after speaking of moderate charges, &C.
concluded my card by sticking on as rete-
rees the names of some half dozen scIen,
tfic French gentlemen. As luck would
have it, my card had scarcely been before
the public week, when one day as sat
in my office, looking and feeling as wise as
ever did HIsculapius, a servant came IN and
asked if | was DR.. Nonsuch. told HIM
yes, and inquired what he wanted toI
which he replied, that his mistress had been
sick long time, and as the doctors all there
could do her no good, she wished to see me.
"Very we'll, boy, tell your mistress Will
come to see her, as soon as possible"
Thinks | there is nothing like putting
oneself. So, with my beard of, my hands
washed. and clean shirt, shall be of to-
see my patient. :.
"Egad should like to know IL she is
rich; if she is some poor body, lear ]
shall lose by it.''
At this time the landlady walked In.
"Did you ring, Doctor" she asked
eyes, madam. Please order the servant
to get my horse as soon as possible nave
call"
LA, me, Doctor! who is sick 2" =,
"A lady by the name Of Mrs. Goodweil
has sent for me.''
"Ah, yes! know her very we'll. Poor
i L. l. I l. I'll