Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1845-08-06
From tss N. o. Pieayune.
BILL SNYDER'S EMPTY POCk
EFT PISTOL.

Bill Snyder's cap was an index of his
character. 1t always rested jauntly on
his left ear, while the right division OF bis
soap locks, swinging clear to the breeze.
seemed to say 10 the admiring gazer,
Bill Is blood His swinging gait was
Of thar devil may care stamp which says,
as plainly as language can, Here's for u
row!' There was mischief in his eye
nor that sportive mischief which poets
:aucy they can occasionally discover in
the eye of ronp; but The species of
mischief which is developed in upsetline
dry goods boxes, ringing door bells at
midnight. seuing the city in an uproar by
getting up false alarms of FIRE, and as Bill
used 10 be fond of expressing it, Kicking
upa-fuss generally There was moth
ing radically malicious in his character.
II be robbed hen roosl, it was not so
much because he coveted his neighbor's
goods as because he wished to prove
himself master in the delicate ar of H.
licit appropriation. Ii, when silence
reigned at the 'ghos:ly hour he made
the weIkn ring with lhe cry OF 'hre,'
i, was not because he felt any i'll will to
wards his slumberiug fellow citizen, but
Simply because he wished to break up the
disagreeable dreams of the snoring watch
men, aud keep we'll CREASED the kuee
Joints of The firemen. Nor did he ever
perpetrate an assault upon the guardian
of The nigh, If he could fiud private cltl-
zen who could give him an excuse for
beating The double drag upun the bridge
of his nose. When he could not, then be
deemed the Heather heads legitimate
subjects upon which to give illustrations
OF his pusiIIsric powers.
Bill was OF a rowing disposi:ion-s tru-
man locomotive, aud always had on a
pood head of steam He had re,narka-
bic autipalny 10 water. He deemed il a
good element in which 10 drown cats, but
good Tor nothing TO drown sorro's.
I'm natural genius, soliloquiged
Bill. upon a certain occasion. I'm a
natural genius wilhou, college larpiug-
I'm rol what they call well read in books
but allow that I'm we'll red in the face.
There amt so many blotches on my char
acler as on my noSei and this IS all owing
10 my way of doug business. don't
keep no clerks to square accounts. My
mouth is my book keeper and It posts all
gin accounts on the principle of double
entry. I'm SIX feel high, but I'm oheu
short. iopce issued out writ of discov-
cry agains, my pockets. But j, want no
use. You can't discover nothing with a
writ where there alnl nolhiug TO discover.
Tha, stauds to reason. They call me a
sinner. 1t may be / am; but one thing
is sartin-I'm Spiritually Inclined. I'm
for the largest liberty and the largest horns.
] goes against all restraints, and SOL lets
my elbows aud toes 60 cut. Now here
am, with Two pocket pistols. empty as a
charity box in hard times. But AL empty
socket pis,ol ainl as bad as as an empty
pocket; but both al The same time is q
severe afflicliou upon human natur! I'm
au exhausted receiver, but genius can't be
blolred up line pint Of whiskey-no cash
and The same amount of credil-a poo
show for bust. must 'circumweai'S Sh<
enemy!' Let's see-wa,er's cheap aut
and here's what wants a pint. Ok
Pinchem don't mix liquors with nolhin.'
v ilb chuckle, Bill filled up one OF hi
pint pistols with water, aud goes TO Oh
Pinchem's.
"A pin,of gin. Pinchy.'
There's the real stuff, Bill. None o
your half and half
Thankee. Pinchy. III pay you soon
Good bye.' NJ
Here. here, Bill, don't you see-'N'
,rus, Pay to day and trust TO morrow
.Thar's the ticket. Hand back The gin o
she cash.
well, there, take Sour liquor, o''