The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1845-06-02
Miscellaneous,
Mrs CaudIe's Curtain lectures.


,nder. Mrs, Caudie is horror .struck.
Mr Caude, the judgments of heaven will fall up
on yOu should not be surprised if you were to be
struck down. Finding fault with the order of nature,
sppnlng at the blessings that are thrown into your
sp wonder what you won't say next. Wishing
one Of our darling girls changed into a boy
CaudIe, you will be punished for this There might
swell bo no punishments, il man is not made TO
i.ol them after such horrible wish
What are you fighting and swearing at that rate
WITH 0, bed-bug II is not so, Caudle, it is only
4uick to stop me from saying a word. cannot
rs,k word after come 10 bed, but there is shirt
a WON, pudding, or a bed-bug thrown into my face
Immay lay and talk, and find fault and scoId-but
uOOn as your slave ola wife says word, she's in
\ suited with fling about ed-bugs, or told to stop her
everlasting tongue And this is the treatment / re-
cove, after shaving myself 10 boil a nice pudding for
YOUR dinner 1t wasn't half done, do you say?-
Oh, Candle, ryou DON. come to poverty, and know
what lis to want mouthful of dinner, there is an
end Of jusice-urn up your nose at lovely, nice,
pudding, that tired your poor wife almost to death to
cook
And so you want a noisy ,russy tyke of boy about
The house, instead OF one of our pretty little lady
Caudes. And shouldn't be surprised to hear that
you had mentioned it at that precious Club of yours
and the fellows there pated you on the back, and
tod you that you ought to stand up for your rights
shouldn't wonder if that Prettyman went home and
tod his wife oft, and had hearty laugh of your
making fool ofyourself. She's got house full Of
dirty, noisy boys, and mighty proud she is of
hem Let me catch her laughing at me because my
boys are all girls! Let me catch her, that's all. She
TIdn't desire to laugh but once-only once
a Aboy in the house First tearing this, then break
y ghO,; now pulling that cats tail--then brought
home kicked by horse When old enough to seer
aNOO, SOr himself, running away from schoo, or go
ing off to sea! Perhaps when man, joining Club
indeed, know he would if he took after his faith
G! Caude, was not prepared for this treatment
have been i'll treated laughed at swore at and told
~hOd my tongue, before l had spoken scarce a
wd-bu it remained for this nights work to finish
my trials Boys and bed-b bugs flung at me, as though
Twas brute beast | shall not survive this treat
nm Ong-there's some comfort in that. shall die
HSo home to mother,-and you will be left to find
Y hnO and scold to yourself Don't tell me you was
H only in fun Fun indeed 1t has come to a pretty
N pass, when you acknowledge you making fun of
a your wife, Caudle, you tell story. People don't
"A come to bed to make fun! What do they come for?
u They come to behave like Christian people Not TO
N "' ofbedbugs and then cry fun There ism
N Dug this bed-but there is a brute in ia brute.
n M!-that has wife with the temper of a lamb-a
4 pattern Of Patience-that is put upon every day she
n IVES by her husband, because he knows her angel
N temper will not resist-who seldom opens her mouth,
o when she does, there is nothing hut puddings or
"yhr's or boys, or bed-bugs thrown into it i!
DOh' tell me that never spoke in my life-that
'~uumo Oh Caudle, if it were possible thing,
,"'Ou'd be out of temper. This treatment is horri-
n u'' Never spoke word! There's one word I
WISH | never had spoke to you, sir When YOU
'''e Oowns and bending, and pleading, with your
~'" your hand, and your hypocrilica smiles, and
y''ecnod me to ioake you unspeakaby happy as
"OV'o'ne Mrs Caudle, was fool enough then to
~ p''N word which set you dancing about the room
I'll" great TOOL as you are. The most unfortunate
ri 0 ever SAID was yes, to your impudence and
"a ""' enough am for it. What business had you to
IN ''' around dear mothers house, and beg me to 60
@'' walk with you, and wheedling me with your
" OouStnse'
N ~ "" you're not asleep then. What did you say,
Nauo'e You wish said no! Caudle, cannot
1Is '0's L can't If were not patient Chris
M - should die under the burden
a., suppose when you get through at that Club of
# you tell those pretty fellows there, that you'll
hume and make fun of your wife-or catch bed
y That shonld ever live to be made fun of.
,N % Tell me I've no doubt You say so. You talk
n,'. "'ne' and | can't hardly speak a word for
'". But the time will soon come Caudle when
~. '"' not have your poor Margaret to find fault
IN r.n d"u make fan Of l feel it coming on
EL '' am breaking down. You may laugh and
IN ,,. 'Oond' but you'll find it So aint a stock or
h,.,. lone the best could, as have, and then
sur "''u because we have no boys among our little
Clans ~ "ough that was my fault-as though my
Sl, 'aa' and Arabella, and Araminta, and Zua-
,' Ia and sOphiama. and Angelica, are not better
bca"nuipS noisy, hallOwing boys in the Kingdom
b., Iu'e' you are cold-hearted-making fun-bed-
S'"Oken-hearted-angel.y 't
,D ,n' this time, says caudle's MS, my wife's
''ed-and soon after fell into troubled