Richmond daily Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1842-1861, 1845-07-26

from the LONDON funch
MRS. CAuDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
Mr. cAupLE Has NOT AcrED LIKE 4 HUSBAND" wED-
DING DINNER.
"Ah me- It's no Westinghouse all: but | do
wish that yesterday IL years could come back again
Little did think MIR. Csudle, when YOU brought me
nome from church. your lawful welded wIte-e.
did think that ! should Keep my weddug-dinnet in
the manner have done day. Fourteen year. sgo!
Yes see YOU now IN your blue with bright buttons,
and your whiie watered wtlstcoai, aud moss
rosebud in your buonhOle which YOU said like
What Ou never talked such nonsense Ha, Mr. eau
die. you don't know ~ha: talked that day-bui
Is; and you then sat AZ the table your face
may say, buuered with happiness, and What No.
Mr. Csudle, don, ths have whipped the butter
oh-No' You above ali men ars nat happy you ought
TO be, gracious knows.
Yes will talk o; fourteen years sgo. Ha. you be-
side me then, and picked all Of nice things for
You'd have given me pearls and diamonds eat could
have swallowed EN-. Yes say, you beside me, and
VIII do you talk about You couldn't sit beside me
to dsyl That's nothing ell with 1t. But
like YOU lean't speak butt you fly of TO something
la! when the health OF the young couple drunk,
what's speech You made then! 1t delicious. How
you made eveybody cry, II their hearts breaking;
and reeoeet as was yesterday, how the
down dear fathers and how dear mother went
into M Dear souls! They little though all your fine
talk, how you'd use me! How have You used mel Oh,
Mr. Caude. how can you ask that question: It's well
for You can't you blush. How have you used
me-
"Wel!, that the tongue could make speech like
that and talk as It did to dRv How did you takl Why
suaineEslN W nat YOU about welded happ-
ness! Why nothing. What did you say about your wifel
Worse than nothing: Just she bag ain you were
sorry for but were obliged to make the best o. Wh, do
you say And olds the beet Ii you that again. eau
die, III rise from ms bed. You ddni say NJ What
then, did you sayl Something very like II, know. Yes
pretty speech Of thanks for husband, And every body
could see that you ddH' care pm Tor and that's why
you hadem here that's why you iuyicd'em insult me
TO iher faces, What! ] made you inyile'oml Ca eau
die, what a aggrava ing man you are,
u suppose yo1' lay next made you invite Miss Prei.
yHnan Ia
without your knowing H. What Didnt hear MIN saw sol
Oh course did; but DO you suppose I'm quite fooI Do
you think don't know that that was all settled DC.
BIT qi Sh89T She CANE
Ga yes; she TO sUk about her What do | mean
On, the meanings plain enough. She Il sec how
size should like the how she should like my sea; at
the fireplace; how she-and If 1t isn enough To break
mothers heart 10 be treated sOhOw she should like my
dear children.
Nov its your bouncing about a-bu, OF course
nars IT, can't mention Miss Preyman but you fling about
as you were IN TIT OF that shows that there's
something IN IT, Otherwise why should you disturb your
Sel Do think didn't her looking at the cyphers
the spoons II she already scratched out
and hers there! No, shan'i drive you mad MI Caudle
and do it's your fault. No other would treat
the wife oi his bosom n-what do you say! You as
ueH hare married hedssbOgl Well now us come 10
sOmethins But it's always case! When ever you've
seen that Miss Pfetyman I'm to be- bused hedge.
hog. pretty thing for a be called by her hus-
band! Now you doa't think I'll lie quietly in bed and be
called edgehOg-do you, Mr. Caudol
Wei, only nope Miss Preuyman mad good dinner,
that's all. had none. You know had iOne-hos wa.
10 get any You know thstihe only part of the turkey
care tor Is the merryihought And that Of course went 10
Miss PTeyman On. saw you laugh when you put il ON
her plate. And yOn don't suppose, after such insult
that I'D taste another thing upon the tabel No. should
nope have more spInt than that. Yes; aud YOU took
wine with her four times. What do you say7 Only
iwlce' Oh, you were 80 lost-fascinated Mr. CBude
isscihaled-ihai you didn't know what DID. However
do think while I'm alive might be Treated with respect
OF my own table. lsay, nhio I'm alive: for know |
shsn last long, and then Mss PTetyman may come and
take II all I'm wasting daily and no wonder never ssy
anything about It, but every week my gowns taken in
1--WE lived 10 learn something to be sure! Miss Pretty
man turned Up her my Gusards IL isn sufie
That you're always finding fault yourself, butyou must
brng women home To snecf Of ne OF my table. What
do you sayI she didn't iuFu up her nosel know She
did; bat whatirs needoss-PrJyidsucs ha, turned II
Up quite enough Tor her already Aud she give her
sell airs over my ousard. On, saw her mincing with the
spoon as II ,he wss chewing sand. What do you Say
She praised my plum pudding Who asked her To-
p"ise III Like her impudence. think
"1ts, pretty dlv I've passed. shall forget this
wcdding-dey, Think Asd as I say a petty sp,.el
you made ~ The "oy NJ ihaaks. No Caudc 4 | nod
10 live hundred yesrs-yyu needn't sfuan Mr. Guide
shall not trouble YOU hall that time; II was To live a
hundred years. should never iOgstu NcveI! You didn't
even so much as bring your into your sps
And-dcaf creuure-.wha have they done to offend youf
NO. sna' not DIVE you mad. lrs you, Mr.. Coude,
who'll dive Inc mad. Eycfybudy says 50.
"And yoi suppose | didn't see how Il was managed
that you ond tlat Miss Pe'yman Away. partners
at WHIST How Wa IL managed Why. plan enough.
O course you packed the cards, and could cut what YOU
liked. You'd settled that between you. Yes: and when
she played riok, instead Of eadng Of rumpshs play
whist ind,eo-whst did YOU cay to h,r when zhe found
| i was wrong On-lt impossible that her heart
should misIskc and aB. Mr.. CuudIe before people
/ with your wife IN the roUm
And Miss Protymsn--l wont hold my tongue I will
talk Of Miss PfeiymuD; who's she, indeed that shouldn',
talk Of herr lsuppOso you think she snRs1 What do YOU
snyi-She sings like mermaid Yes, yory-yery ike
mermnd ,of she never sog,, but che exposes herself.
She might, think, have cbo.en another song. Il love
somebody indeed; II didn't know who wos meant by
iat somebody and all the knew IT, OF course; and
| Inst was what 1t was done iOr-nothng else.
However, Mr.. Caudie a. my minds made 10 shall
soy no moro about the matter tonight but ny 10 70 to
| sleep"
And to my establishment and gratitude" writes Cau-
| die, "sho kept her word"