Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1845-07-31
A YANKEE UIJTNyJTTED

ih.NNEC WlIIED.-We are al
ways ready to give the natives OF the Univer-
sal Yankee Nation full credit for ~shrcwduess.
sagacity and wisdom. If there be. as a pencr.
al rule, a soft spot in their character. it is. like
the philosophers stone, not easily discovered
Out some naturalists assert that such thinDs
nave been seen as white blackbirds :" thosse
VINO pace any credence in the assertion can
not surely doubt US when we tell them that
we have positively seen-saw no later than
Yesterday green Yankee: one who. i'm the
CONSCIOUSNESS OF his unsuspecting nature. ac-
tuaiiy suffered himself TO be neeced-diddIcd
by a 4" simple" Southemer.
We saw the Yankee at the police Office nc
we said before, yesterday. where he went to
seek Dame Jusiice-a lady, like the North.
west fassage, otteneT sought than found.-
Barring the transparency, he was a cold hard
ice-laccd fellow, altogether whiskerless but
u ne lacked beard he had a surplussaee of vel
ioWish hair, which clustered over his coat
co'lar like long sticks of candy. as seen i'm a
glass jar IN a confectionery window. and Inc
was so tall and thin that il would not be sur.
prising II he feels apprehcnsivc of being broken
across the middle, and his upper part being
piown oil some stormy day. His dress was
loose, and hung li~stlessly about him like the
sails ola vessel in a calm.
Alter finding out the Recorder-after hay
ing caught his eye, as they say in Congress-
Jonathan commenced to tell his story linus.
squire, I'm a sweltered individual-used
up-done brown there amt nothin' left Of
me; but II | wonst get hum-out of this cussed
Louisianer-this steam-kcttle of all creation
Fashion, and l guess she's about the quick
est cntter ever ran-Fashion herself could
never catch me down South agin."
hccorder-" What is the natter II YOU
have any complaint to make let me hear IT,"
nHhff-NH Il hn 20 1. nua.-I..-. A. - -
Well, now Squire, / swon to man. as Elcaser
Ellis, the schoolmaster, used TO say swon.
you're sub1nncfire now rayther guess have
a complaint to make, and a toleTablc chunk
Oh a one at that. Oh, Squire, won't Patience
be as riley as all wrath when she hears II
she'll he out of all patience with me for ma.
KING such a tarnation fool of myself, condemn
the luck"
Reeorder-"It would seem you want to
make a fool of me. Ifyou have any complaint
10 make, state 1t if not, withdraw from the
court" W '"0
ignkte-"J Just hold ON a mint, Squire,
and III set a goin'."
RecOrder- Well then. proceed,
ia""ee- Facts, Squire, ] cum down here
south on a little Specialization, 'tendin' to clear
on lore yalicr fever time and If 'tvarn't for
what happened me to-day, I'd make pooty
considerable of profit on the consarn."
hccOTdcr-"T Then let me hear at once what
did happen YOU"
IdnkeeI' Why, lost my money amt
mat enough TO happen any feller any day p
how ?r UNIV
Iaakee-" Twenty dollars, darn NV skin If
J didn't, and by one Of the mcanest tricks thst
ever was played of on a free American ciG-
zen why, ] wouldn't sFyc a Niger so.
HecordeT-"T Then lagain ask how were yol
served - ~"
a'hce-" Most %rascally as ] was aooin'
along on the Levcc, a maxim calkilstions and
taikin to myself, secsa feller that looked iest
as honest as Parson Potter, and as respectable
as 2 seiectman, stoop down right afore me
ana PICK up fifty dollar bill-herc's the dam
'cois'rn' blast bis Picter," said the Yankee in.