Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1845-07-03


TO the quarrel-one contends that IN.
church doors are foo small and the otherl
ihatsihs ladies' dresses are too large.
I say. Caffee. why don't niggers bay.
the yslfef fever.
! CUBS il up. 81
Cause dey so black dey can. turn val.
lsrl yaf hal
The Boston ladies are holdius lemonade
parties. A large punch bowl 1of water is
provided. which is sweeiened by the
young ladies all placing theirIlips 10 the
brim. The old maids, then look into it.
and the lemonade 10 done did,"
Hall, where was your ministers tex,
yesterday afternoon, 81
o. ! don't reeoliect the place, but the
words were, sleep on now and take your
rest. On .
sH What did he make out OF that Halp
Don't know. faiih-but he was continu.
ally telling Us that, the truth is ALWAYS
practical; 90 tbinksI TO myself, pIl take
you al your word once, and may be sho,
C walked up ill the Amen.
POSI- Office Balancss--A man ,olt
west, obseryest the N. o. Pic, hearing
that post Office balances were 10 be adj.
justed 10 Washington on particular day
wrote to5ihe Postmssier General. inform.
ing him that - F., fhe postmas-
terwho had absquaiuialed from. his town
and goneao Texas. was 10 bis debt $3.50.
being the balance Of an account far work
done for the post Office. He begging Of
him to adjust i. with the other accounts.
a village scbooln aster 10 ihe county Of
BUCKS op4 ar.. ~. = '''' %.
he was 10 be q butcher. Why surely. re-
joined the master. you won't like>to kill
the poor sheep aud lambsl No, said The
urchin, ! shouldn't like TO kill the poor
gas. but should like 10 kill fat uas.
Dip the Mississippi dry with tea spoon
--stop the second Municipality from GO.
!, ing ahesd-twist your heel into tho Toe
Of your boot-nake post masters perform
their promises-send up fishing hooks
T with balloons and 6sh for siars-gei astride
. gossamer and chase atcomet--- when .
rain storm is coming down like the cata.
rset Of Niagara. remember where Jon left
your umbrella choke a musqui,o with
brickbai-in short, prove all things bith.
eric considered impossible to be possible s
: but never attempt 10 coax womanio say
she viii when she has once made up her
mind to say she wont. ~. O. Pic.
a Sseret.- How do you do. Mrs
Tome, have you heard that story about
Mrs. Ludy.' Why. no, really, Mrs.
i Cad ,wha, 10 lido tellt' %. promised
not 10 tell for all the woridi No. must
never tell on't. I'm afraid il will.git out
Why, I'll never Tell on,i as long as live,
just a. true as The world; what IS it; come
telts Now You won'tsay any thing a..
bout il, will yodR No. I'll never open.
my head oulii--never. Hope 10 die
this minute. fWell, ifyou'll believe me.
ID Mrs. Funday told ne last night. that Mrs.
iTrot told bel. that hersister's husband was
told BY . person who dreamed il. that Mrs.
Troubles Oldest daughter told Mrs Nj.
chens that her grand mother heard by d
letter which she got from her third sisters
second husbands oldes. brolhers's step
daughters nephew. thai il was reported
By :he captain Of clam boatjss arrived
from the Feejee Islands. that The mer.
mazda about that section wore sharkskin
bustles stuffed with picked eels' toes ~ S
Han's Chief End-.What Is The chief
end Of man :.inquireds school teacher Of
pretty Miss. why. | suppose il Is to
pop tie question, was the reply.
Seriptural.- a distinguished writer says
there is but one passage 10 the Bible where
the s'rls are commanded 10 kiss the men !;
that Is the golden rule. Whatsoever ye
would that ner should do unto on, do Sc
even 90 10 them.
Tie Better Way "A Mr.. Wright was
married 10 Mss Be.leFwsy, ia some
parts 1ntnovn. Ia this State. Ao ex-
fhsnse paper says that Mr.. WRIGHT hsa
% doobt read Rops's Univesssl PRAYER
Paitieultriy the following verse Of 4
IL lflan riski thy eraer imn,,,
sun 70 the right way 10 stay
Z J. an = .1ong, o, teach M hearr
~ hnd The teiirr ,oay.
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