American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper., 1845-04-14
TFrom the London Punch.1
MRS. CAUDLE's CURTAIN LECTURES

MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
.ur, Cdudls has lent five pounds to friend.
You ought to be very rich, MIR, Caude. |
wonder who'd lend you five pounds! But SO it
IS; vile may work and may slave! Ela, dear!
the many things that might have been done
with five pounds AS if people picked up mo-
ney in the street! But you always were a fool,
Mr. Caudle. I've wanted black satin gown
these three years, and five pounds would have
pretty well bought it. But it's no matter how
go-not at all. Every body says don't dress
what's that to you, Caude? Nothing. Oh no;
you can have fine feelings for every body but
those belonging to you. ! wish people knew
you as do-that's all. You like to be called
liberal-and your family pays for it.
"all the girls want bonnets, and when they're
to get 'em, can't tell. Half FIVE pounds would
have bought them-but now they must 90
without. OF course they belong TO you; and
any body but your own flesh and blood, MIR.
Caudle.
'The man called for the water rate, to-day;
but should like TO know how people are to
pay, taxes, who throw away five pounds to eve
ry fellow that asks them
"Perhaps you don't know that Jack, this
morning, knocked his shutte-cock through his
bedroom window. | was going to send for
glazler to mend it; but after you lent the five
pounds | was sure we couldn't afford it. Oh
no! the window must 90 as it is; and pretty
weather for a dear child to sleep with broken
window. He's got cold already on his lungs,
and shouldn't at all wonder If that broken
window settled him; if the dear boy dies, his
death will be upon his fathers head; for Pm
sure we can't now pay to mend windows
We might though, and do good many more
things, if people didn't throw away their five
pounds.
''Next Tuesday, the fire insurance is due.
should like to know how it's to be paid. Why,
it can't be paid at all. The five pounds would
have ust done it-and now, insurance is out of
the question. And there never were so many
fires as there are now. | shall never close my
eyes all night-but what's that 70 you, so pco-
pie call you liberal, MIR. Caudle? Your wife
and children burnt alive in their beds-as all of
US to certainty shall be, for the insurance
MUST drop. And after we've insured for so
many years! But how, should like to know,
are people to insure, who make ducks and
brakes of their five pounds?
81 did think we might 60 to Margate this
summer. There's poor little Caroline; I'm sure
she wants the sea. But no, dear creature! she
must stay at home-all of us must stop at home
she'll 60 into consumption, there's no doubt
of that; yes dear little angel, I've mads up my
mind to lose her NOW. The child might have
been saved; but people can't save their children
and throw away their five pounds too.
81 wonder where poor little Cherub is?-
While you were lending that five pounds the
dog ran out of the shop. You know | never
let 60 into the street for fear it should be bit
by some mad dog, and come home and bite all
the children. 1t would not now at al astonish
lne if the animal was tG come back with the
hydrophobia, and give it to all the family
However, what's your family to you, SO you
can play the liberal creature with five pounds.
'!Do you hear the shutter, now it's banging
TO and fro?-Yes-I know what it wants as
we'll as you-it wants new fastening. was
going to send for the blacksmith to-day. But
now it's out of the question; NOW it must
bang off nights, since you've thrown away
five pounds.
"Well, things have come to pretty pass!
This is the first night ever made my supper
of roast beef without pickles. But who is tc
afford pickles when folks are always lending
five pounds?
"Ah! there's the SCOT falling down the chin
ney. If hate the smell of any thing, it's the
smell of SCOT. And you know it; but what are
my feelings to you? Sweep the chimney! Yes
IT'S all very fine to say sweep the chimney
but how are chimneys to be swept-how are
they to be paid for by people who don't take
care of their five pounds?
''Do you hear the mice running across the
-oomi | hear them. If they were only t.
drag you out of bed, it woald be no matter
Set trap for 'em. But how are people to af
ford the cheese, when every day they lose fv'
pounds
"Harkl Pm sure there's noise down stairs
II wouldn't at all surprise me it there wer
thieves in the house. Well, it may be the cat
But thieves are sure to come in some night
There's wretched fastening to the back door
But these are not times to afford bolts AM
bars, when fools won't take care of their fiv
pounds.
s'Mary Anne ought to have gone to the den
tist Tomorrow. She wants three teeth take
out. Now it can't be done. Three teeth tina
quite disfigure the chlld's mouth. But ther
they must stop, and spoil the sweetest face tina
ever was made. Otherwise she'd been wit
for lord. Now, when she grows up, who'
have her2 Nobody. We shall die and leav
her alone and unprotected in the world. Blu
what do you care for that? Nothing; so yo
can squander away FIVE pounds.
land now see, Mr.. Caudle, what a miser
you've brought upon your wretched family.
can't have satin gown-the girls can't hav
new bonnets--the water rate must stand owe
-Jach must get his death through broke
window-our lire insurance can't be paid, S
we shall all fall victims to the devouring ell.
ment--we can't 60 to Nargate, and Carolin
will 60 TO an early grave-the dog will com
home mad and bite us---the shutter will Q
hanging forever-the SCOT will always fall---tli