Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1845-10-09
THAT TARNAL RAILROD.

Jowhitticans; Whew! Wal, Just manu-
factule me up into double refined spinning
jenny and set me agoing in fifty acres of
cotton, if ever come across such rarin.
tarin, ripping, snoring, double-revolving
piece of machinery, from creation down to
my most marvellous deliverance Just now,
as the one give me chase down your rail-
road. hearn some time ago, that there
was rich doings goin on at the Fulton In
stitute' so as like things that open rich,
made things about right round hum, and
broke for here. | come a cross through
the country, and struck your railroad and
was plying it down at about four knots the
hour. Now, had hearn tell Of locomotives.
but never dreamed of seeing one alive and
kicking but about two miles from here,
hearn something behind me coffin, sneezing
and Numbering, and | looked around, sure
enough here she come right down after me,
paving the airth up and splitting the road
wide open, with more smoke and fire a
Aying than or'to come out of hundred
burning mountains, with about dozen wag-
CONS follorin arter her, TO save her tarnal
black, smoky noisy neck, she couIdn't gel
clear of them. don't know whether they
scared her up or no, but here she come
foaming at the mouth-Wiih her teeth chock
full of burnin' red hot Goals and she pitched
right start at me as if she was going into me
like thousand brick-I couldn't stand ii
any longer, so wheeled around and broke
down the road and began to make the gravel
fly in every direction. No sooner had !
done that than she split right after me and
every Jump made she squeeled like thou
sand wild cats! She began TO gain on me
COMM up little hill, but we Come round
a pint to strait level in the road. Now
thinks !, Pll gin you ginger, as | am great
on dead level, so | pulled to it and soon
got myself under full speed; then she be-
gan to yelp and howl and cough and stamp
and come on full chizel, and made the hull!
airth shake But kept on before her,
bouncing at the rate of twenty feet every
pop, till got to turn Of the road, and was
under such Roadway that couldn't turn, so
] tumbled head over heels down IA bank byI
a house and landed with my head and shout
ders, co-smolIick! light into a swiU barrel,
and my feet stuck out behind, and up in the
air! Just at the time the locomotive found
had got way from it, it commenced spit
ting hot water into me and ust literally
spattered all over the part of me that was
left sticking ont of the barrel. thought
in my soul that Mont Vesuvious had busted
somewhere in the neighborhood. But do
you suppose staid there long? No Sir!
/ just walked right through that barrel and
come out the other end SO quick that it
really looked ashamed of itself.
Now, here am, a rae self-propelling
double-revolving locomotive Snolly Goster.
ready to attack anything but combination
of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, railroad iron,
and hot water.
I'D like for some of your gals to give me
chance to play hop scotch among your
hearts, and if didn't play the swill barrel
game by walking right strait thro' your tar
nal prejudices into your young affections.
then help me Cincinnati CONNER
ciaz