Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1845-08-21

Of those who wish to go ':the sea shore -
MRS. CAUDLE's CURTAIN LECTURES.
Mrs. Candle "vishes to knoaU If they're 90
ing 10 the sea side, or mol, Ibis Sunamer-
that's aU"
"Hot? Yes tits hot. Pm sure one might
as we'll be in an oven as in town this wea-
Their. You seem to forget it's July, Mr..
Caudle. I've been waiting quietly-have,
never spoken; yet not word have you
said of the seaside yet. Not that care for
it myself-oh, no; my health isn't of the
slightest consequence. And, indeed, was
going to say-but won't-that the sooner,
perhaps, Pm out of this world, the better
Oh, yes: ] dare say you think so-ofcourse
you do, else you wouldn't lie there saying
nothing. You're enough to aggravate a SAINT
Caudle; but you shan't yex me again. Why
should worry myself?
"But all want TO ask you is this; do you
intend to 90 to the seaside this summer!I
Yes9 You'll go TO Gravesend9 Then you'll
90 alone, that's all know. Gravesend II
You might as we'll empty salt-cellar in the
New River, and call that the seaside. What
H's handy for busimess2 There you are a
gain! ! can never speak Of taking a little
enjoyment, bnt you fling business in my
teeth. Pm sure you never let business standI
in the way of your own pleasure,-Mr.I
Caudle, not you. 1t wonld be all the better
for your family if you did.
"You know that Matilda wants sea-baih-
ing; you know it, or ought to know it, by
the looks Of the child, and yeti know you,
.Caudle-you'd have let the summer pass
over, and never said word about the mat
ter. What do You say? .Nargate'S so &c
pensire9 Not at all. Pm sure it will be
cheaper for us in the end; for if we don't
in the winter Not that my health is of any
consequence: | know that we'll enough. 1t
never was yet. You know Nargate7s the
only place can ca. breakfast al, cad YET
you talk of Gravesend! But what's my eat
ing to you? You wouldn't care if never
eat at all. You never watch my appetite
like any other husband, otherwise you'd
have seen what it's come 10.
"What do you say? HO1r much 1CiU ii
cost2 There you are, Mr.. Caudle, with your
meanness again. When YOU want TO 60
yourself to Blackwell or to Greenwich, you
never ask, how much will it cost? What:
You ncrer 90 to BLacLwelR Ha? ! don't
know that; and if you don't that's nothing
at all to do with it. Yes, you can give "a
guinea plate for whitebaIt for yourself
No, sir; I'm not foolish woman; and J
know very well what Pm talking about
nobody better. A guinea for whitehall for
Yourself, when you grudge pint of shrmps
for your poor family. Eli? You dOnt
grudge 'em dnWhing9 Yes, its very well
for you to lie there and say so. What ariH
II cost? It's no matter what it will cost, for
we won't 90 at all now. No; we'll stay at
home. We shall all be i'll in the winter
every one of us, all but You; and nothing
ever makes you i'll. l've no doubt we shall
all be laid up, and there'll be DOCTORS bill
! as long as a railroad; but never mind that
It's better-much better-to pay for nasty
physic than for fresh air and wholesome salt
water. Don't call me woman and ask
what it will cost?' ! tell you, if you were
to lay the money down on that quilt, |
wouldn't GO now, certainly not. lis better
we should all be sick; yes, then you'll be
pleased.
"That's right, Mr.. Caudle; go to Sleep
It's like your unleeling self! I'm talking Of
our all being laid up; and you, like any
stone, turn round an begin to go to sleep.
Well, think that's a pretty insult! Hon.
can y0~ sleep arih such splinter in yom
fcsh2 | suppose you mean 10 call me
splinter ?-and after the wife I've been to
you! But no, Mr.. Caudle, you may call me
what you please; you'll not make me cry
now. No, no, don't throw away my tears
upon any such person now. What: Donf?
Ha! that's your ingratitude! But none OF
you men deserve that any woman should
love you. My poor heart!
every body else can 90 out of town ex-
cept US. Ha! if I'd only married Simmons.
What? Why didn't L? Yes, that's all the
thanks ! get. Who's .Simmons9 Oh, you
know very we'll who Simmons is. He'd
have treated me little better, think. He
acas gentleman. You canfteU9 May be
not; but can. With such weather as this,
to stay melting in London! and when the
painters are coming in! You acon't hare The
painters in2 But you must; and if they
once come in, Pm determined that none OF
us shall stir them. Painting in July with
family in the house! We shall all be pos-
oned, of course; but what do you care tor