Mississippi Democrat. (Carrollton, Miss.) 1844-18??, 1845-02-26

know thai The guitar VIII give place TO
catarrh, or That the trombones will be fol-
lowed by aching bones, is sickening. Go
to balls, parties, suppers--get drunk--go
on spree, and suffer a0erwards--there is
some alienation 10 your misery to know
that there was fun and excitement in the
deed. But serenading is q cold blooded
business. Poh!--hire band and send
them round, with orders TO bring home all
that is thrown out, even chair, and next
morning, after comfortable nights rest,
you can gather in the laurels.
Here, in the right Of an experienced old
bachelor, permit US to give one word Of ad-
vice 10 lovers in general. Never spend
cent in love making. If The girl is worth
having, you cannot purchase her with bou.
quets and buggies, serenades and sonneis.
Il adds TO the agony Of the rejected one to
know, that he has lost not only his heart,
but bis dimes. He may do as an old friend
Of ours once did, make out bill-----siop,
we have il somewhere about--ahi here it is:
LIZA CATCHER,
To DAvr DuMrs, DR..
To l6 serenades, one dollar per serenads, $1,000
10 buggy rides, 81 so each, 1900
SO bouquets, say one dollar per bouquet, so 90
92days' time lost, three dol'rs per day, 27e 90
S359 90
To this Davy added large sum in the
way Of damages for friends lost and doc
tors bill. But this, however amusing,
will not heal ligh, pocket any more than
it can cure heavy heart.
In pursuit Of the widow we thinned and
paled rapidly. Loyc.making, as Montezu.
ma Dawkinsscorrecily remarks, is "purty
fun" but it cant last forever, and in our
case we determined to end il or our exs-
tence by the untried experiment Of "pop-
ping the question:" which was mere easily
determined upon than accomplished. OPP.
poriunity after opportunity escaped with
out accomplishing ihe object. Either cou-
rage oozed out at the proper moment,or the
widow, with the tact Of a skilful hand led us
from the point. But come ii must; and we
| fixed time, and inwardly swore the mat
Ter should be settled then or never.
Returning in the evening from fash.
ionable church, the choir Of which the wi
dow frequented, we determined should be
the occasion Of our desperate undertaking.
We prepared little speech. We settled
ourself into an untried pair of inexpres-
sibles, and passed nearly an hour in COM
pressing our understanding into new boots
Finally, with pain at our heart and pain
at our toes, we walked the widow to
church. She passed up 10 the gallery, and
we seated ourself in apew half way down
the principal aisle. The Rev. Mr. Ledth,
erlungs was q popular divine, and the house
was crowded TO excess, and warm 10 suffi-
cation. The heat began soon to affect our
pedal extremities. Our boots we're too
small in the first instance; and before the
Reverend gentleman, was half througb,we
were suffering the agonies Of the damned
Talk Of thumb screws and the rack they
are nothing to swelling feet in tight boots!
They grew worse every minute. We had
levers and numbness- sharp pains, dull
pains, running pains, and throbbng pains.
Our face was 1ushed--our body bent with
agony--escapc there was none. The ar.
chiterts Of the church understood human
nature, and placed the pulpit near the en-
trance, 20 that after the congregation was
once seated, none could escape until the
sermon had been heard and paid for. Nay,
had the Reverend gentleman fallen down
in an apopectic fit, and thereby left the
way clear, doubtful had il become whether
we could have walked. Relief must be
had! and desperately we cut our straps,
fixed our left foot under the stool used to
kneel upon, and gave jerk. We upset
tho stool, and sent il with considerable
rumpus dozen feet on the floor. We per-
severed, however, pulled of one boot, and
left the other partly on. Delicious, oh de-
licious beyond expression, was the relief
afforded. While the congregation is dis.
persing, we can easily stoop down and pull
on our boot. Delusive hope! The last
hymn was at Inst sung--the benedictlon
i given--the congregation began to dispense
! We stopped TO Try the boots--we pulled
we straincd, we kicked, we jerked--boot-
less---'twas all in vain. Not an inch would
our foot advance. Horrible fact Our lii.
lie widow tripped down The aisle, and stood
talking to the sexton, evidently waiting for
US, near the door. The refractory boots
would not 60 on. Horrible fact
!, We have danced war-dance with the
| Potawattomies; we have gazed upon the
pyramids while resting under the shadow
Of camel; we have seen the vas. prairies
Of the West, and thousands Of bufaloes
! berding together; we once saw hog &C
, ever Niagara Fails; we have taken tea with
/ Ann Royal, we have been in many situa
(, lions that called Up emotions from The bot