Wisconsin herald, and Grant County advertiser. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1844-1845, 1845-08-23


every body in these dog.days likes good
laugh, we copy -
KICKING A YANKEE.
A very handsome friend of ours, who
n few weeks ago was pOhed out of a
comfortable Office up the river, has be-
taken himself to Bangor, for time, to
recover from the wound inflicted upon
his feelings by our "unprinciplcd and
immolatng administration"
Change Of air must have had an in
slant effect upon his spirits, for, from
Galcna, he writes US an amusing letter,
which, among other things, tells of a
desperate quarrel that took place on
board of the boat between real live
dandy tourist, and real live yankee
settler. The latter trod on the toes Of
the former whereupon the former,
threatened to Kick out Of the cabin"
the latter
you'll kick me out Of this cabling ="
Yes, sir, Pll kick you out of this
cabin ~
You'll kick me, Mr.. Hitchcock,
out Of this cabling -
"Yes, sir, PIl kick you, Mr.. Hitch
cock I"
We'll, I guess" said the yankee,
very coolIy, after being perfectly salts
fed that it was himself who stood in
such imminent peril Of assault" ]
guess, since you talk of kicking, you've
never heard me tell about old Brady
and my mare, there, to bum -
No, sir, nor do wish
Wal, guess it WON'T set you back
much, any how, as kicking's generally
best to be considered on. You see old
Brady is one of these sanctimonious,
long faced hypocrites, who put on a re-
ligious suit every Sabbath day morning,
and with good deal Of sore wing man
age to keep It on till after sermon in
the afternoon and as | was a Uniyer-
salst, he alters picked me out as a sub
jcct for religious conversation--and
the darned hypocritc would talk about
heaven, hell and the devil-thc cruel
iixion and the prayer, without ever
winking. Wal, he had an old roam
mare that would jump over any four
teen rail fence in Illinois, and open any
door in my barn that hadn't paddock
on it. tn or three times found her in
my stable, and ] told Brady about it,
and he was very sorry an unruly
animal'--'would watch her. and hull
lot of such things, all said in very Sc
rious manner, with face twice as long
as old Deacon Farrar's on Sacrament
day. knew all the time he was lying,
and so watched him and his old roam
IL and for three nights regular, old
roam came to my stable about bed time,
and Just atdaylight Brady would come,
bride her, and ride off, then Just
took my old mare down to black
smiths shop, and had some shoes made
with 'corks' about four inches long, and
had 'em nailed on to her hind feet
Your heels, mister, amt nuthin to 'em.
took her home, give her about ten feet
halter, and tied her ght in the centre
of the Stable, fed her well with oats
about nine O'Clock, and after taking a
good smoke, went to bed knowing that
my OLD mare was truth telling animal,
and TINT she'd give good report of her
self in the morning. hadn't got fair
ly to sleep before the old oman hunch-
ed me md wanted to know what on
airth was the matter out at the stable.
Says !, so tn sleep, Peggy, is nothing
but kate--she is kicking of flies, |
guess ! Purty soon shc hunched me
agn, and says she, 'Mr. Hitchcock du
git up and see what in the world is the
matter with Kate, for she is kicking
most powerfully Lay still, Peggy
Kate will take care of herself, guess
Wal, the next mcrnin', about daylight,
Brady, with bride in hand. cum to the
stable, and. ms true as the book of Gene.
sis, when he saw the old roan's sides,
stnrn and head, he cursed and swore
worse than you did, Mister, when |
came down on your toes. AFTER break
fast that mornin', Joe Davis cum to my
house and says he, Bradley's old roam
is nearly dead--she's cut all to pieces,
and can scarcely move.' Il want to
know :! (says y how on airth did il
happen p Now Joe Davis was men,
Der of tire same church with Brady,
and whilst we were talkin' up cum that
everlastin' hypocrite, and says he, Mr..
Hitchcock, my old roam is ruined p