Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1845-11-25
AN UNEASY PREDlCAMEST

We were the witnesses of ludicrous in
cident which occurred in this city a few
days since. for relating which we crave
the indulgence Of the gentleman directly
concerned-deeming il TO be too good a
| joke 10 be lost
While sitting at our desk and laborng
assduously, with pen, scissors and paste,
10 make on, readablespaper for our pat
rons, we were suddenly enlightened from
our propriety" by the hasty entrance Of a
gentleman, exclaiming, .'for Gods sake
help me to see what's the matter! I've got
some dreadful thing-scorpion or tarauiula
in the leg of my panialOons! Quick
quick-help me-"
We Instantly rose from our chair, halc
| frightened ourselves. Our friend had bro
ken in so,,suddenly and unexpectedly upon
US, and was so wonderfully agitated tha,
we knew not whether he was indeed in his
senses or not. We looked at him with a
sort of uspicion mixed with dreai, anr
hardly new whether 10 speak with, o
se.ze and confne him for mailman =
The latter we came near attempting
there he stood quivering aud pale. with one
hand tightly grasped upon part Of his
panialoons just in the hollow Of the knee.
"Whats the maltor?" at last asked
we.
.The mat,er!'' he exclaimed, ooh, help
me! I've go, something here, which just
ran up my leg Some Internal scorpion or
lizard, expect! Oh, can't let it go;
must hold ii. All, there!" he shrieked, ~
felt il move just then! Oh, these pants
without straps!I I'll never wear another pair
open at the bottom as long as live. All!
feel il again!"
Feel whaI?' we inquired, standing at
the same time n, respectful distance from
the gentleman; for we had just been read
ing our Corpus Christi correspondents let
ter about snakes, lizards, and tarantulas,
and began to imagine some deadly insect
or reptile in the leg Of our friends sun
menlionables," as they are sometimes call
ed.
III don't know what it u.s." answered the
gentleman; "help me to see what it is, |
was just passing tina. pile Of rubbish there,
in front Of your office, and felt it dar. up
my leg as quick as lightning" and he
clenched his fist still more tightly. If it
had been the neck of an anaconda we be-
lieve he would have squeezed it to u jel-
| Iy.
| BY this time two or three Of the news
boys had come 10; the clerks and packing
boys hearing The ou,cry, stopped working.
and editors and all hands stood around the
sufferer with looks Of mingled sympathy
and alarm.
Bring chair, Fritz" said we, "and
let the gentleman be seated"
ooh, can't sit!' said the gentleman;
Il cant bend my knee!-if | do, it will
bite me or sting me; no, can't sit."
"Certainly you can sit." said we; "keep
your leg stra ght out, and we'll see what it
is you've got"
"WeIl, let me give it enc more hard
squeeze; I'll crush it TO DEATH" said he,
and again he put the force Of an iron vice
upon the thing. If it had any life left by
this time, this last effor. must have killed
it. Ee then cautiously seated himself.
holding out his leg as stiff and straight as
poker. A sharp knife was procured;
the pants were cut open carefully, making
a hole large enough TO admit hand. the
gentleman put Oii Il tillCn 3 Io'C "Ha siO"i ~
inserted his hand, but he discovered moth
ing. We were all looking OF in almost
breathless silence 20 sec the mons,rous
thing-wha;ever it might be; each ready
TO scamper out Of harms way should it be
alive; when suddenly the gentleman be-
came, if possible. more agitated than ever.
"By heavens!" he exclaimed, "it's in
side my drawers. It's alive tool feel it..
-quick!-give me the knife again. An
other incision was made-in went the gen
tleman's glove hand once more, and 10!
gu, came-his arJe's stocking!
How the stocking ever got there 'ce are
unable TO say; but there it certainly was;
and such a laugh as followed, we haven't
heard for many day. Our friend, we
know, has told the joke himself and must
pardon us for doing so. Though this is
all about stocking. we assure our read
ers it is no ''yara."-[N. o. Pic,