Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1845-09-18
From the London Punch.
Mrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures.
LECTURE XlX.-Caudle In the course OF The
day has vcnturrd TO question tho Econ.
Omy OF "Washing at Home"


bed in, Mr.. Caudle, ] can see Oh,
don't deny i'll think ough, to know
by this time. But h's always the way
whenever J get up q few things, the house
can hardly hold you Nobody cries out
inore about clean hnen than you do--and
nobody leads pour woman 40 miserable
life when she tries 10 mnke her husband
comfortable. Yes, Mr. Caudle-com-
fnrtable ! You needn't keep chewing
the word, as If you couldn't swallow it,
Has there erer such icoman No, eau.
die ; | hope no, l should hope no other
wife was ever put upon as aD It's
all very well for You. can't have a
little wash nj home like anybody else },
but you must go about the house swear
ing TO yourself, and lookins al your wife
as ,f she was your biilerest enemy. But
! suppose you'd rather we didnt wash NJ
all. Yes; then you'd be happy IL"
be sure you would-you'd like to have
all the children IN their dirt, like potatoes ::
anything, So that il d,dn't disturb you
wish you'd had wife who'd never
sd-shed have suited you, she
would Yes; fine lady, who'd hav,
let your children GO that you mil bit have
scrapcd 'em. She'd have been much
] could let all of you 60 without clean
linen at all-.yes, all Of YOU. ! wish ]
could And il | wasn't slave To my
family, unlike anybody che, ] should.
No, Mr.. Caudle +; the house ISM
tossed abou, in water as If it was Noah's
Ark And you ought to be ashamed oi
Yourself tn talk Of Noah's Ark in that
louse manner. I'm sure don'i know
what I've done TO be married TO a man
Of such principles. No /: and the whole
house doesn't taste of soap. suds either (;
and if i, did, any other man bot yourself
would be above naming il. l suppose
don't like washing day any more than
yourself What do you say ! Yes ]
do D.? lila you're wrong there. Mr..
Caudlc. No; | don't like i, brcause il
makes everybody else uncomfortable. -
No and ought no, to have been born
mermaid, ,ha, might always have been
in winter. A mermaid, indeed What
next viii you call me : But no man,
Mr. Caudlc, says such things to his wife
asyou. However, as lve said before,
j, can: last long, that's one comfort. -
What d. you say You're glad ofh
You're brute, Mr. Caudle No, you
didnI mean washing | know what YOU
meant. A pretty speech TO woman
who's been the wife To you | have -
You'll repent il when it's too late yes,
] wouldn't have your feelings when Pm
gone, Caudle no, na for the Bank oi
England.
And when we only wash once fort.
night liza only wish you had some
wives they'd wash once week Be
sides, if once a lorinighl's too much io'
you, Why don't you give me money that
we may have things to go month L.
it mn fnul, f we're short What do
you say ? My 'once a Jor'"ighf lasts three
days g? No, il doesn't never well,
very seldom and that's the same thing.
Can help it, IL The blacks will fly, and
the things must be rinscd again +? No
I'm mol made happy by the blacks, ana
they d0ni prolong my enjoyment and,
more than TINT, you're an unieeling man
10 say 40. You're enough to make wo-
tnsn wish herself in her grave--you are,
Caudlc.
And a pretty example you set to your
sons Because we'd ii lille wash to-day
and there wasn't ho, dinner- and who
thinks of getting anything hot for washer
women ?-bccausc you hadn't every thing
asyou always have il. you must swear AT
the cold mutton and you don't know
wha, that mutton cost a pound, | dare
say--you must swear at a sweet, whole
some joint like lord. What You
didnI srtar Yes: IT'S very well Tor
you {" say so but know when you're
swearing and you swear when you lutte
think it aud Say you must 60 on sweat
ing as you did, and seize your hat like a
savage, and rush out of The house, and
20 aud take your dinner at tavern A
pretty wife people mast think you have
~he" they find you dining at public
house. a nice home they must think
you have, MIR Candle What YonU
do so erery lime uash Very well,
Mr. Caudlr very well. Wen soon
see who's tired Of that first for III wash
"A Sucking u day that's all, sooner than
you should have everything as you like.
Tia ! that's so like you; you'd trample
everybody under foot, If you cou!d--you
know you would, Caudle, So don't den,
IL.
Now, if you begin to shou, in 'ha,
manner, IN leave the bed. LIS very
hard that j can't say n single word to
you, but you must almost ruIse the place.
You didn't shout ! don't know what
you call shouting, then I'm sure the
people must hear you in the next house.
Not won't do 10 call me soft names,
now, Caudle I'm not the fool that was
when ! was frs, married. know better
now. You're TO treat me in the manner
you have, all day and then at night, the
o"ly time aud place when | can get a
word IN, you want to go to sleep. How
can You be so mean, Caudle
Wha, ! Uhy can't Ipm The 'rashing
omi Now, You have asked that thou
sand tunes, but n's no use, Caudle !; so
don't ask II again. won't put It out
What do you say Mrs. Preiyman
sogs Us 9niic as cheap! Pray, what's