American Republican and Baltimore daily clipper. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1844-1846, 1845-07-25
From the New York Times
AN OFFICE-SEEKER "HARD UP"

AIN OF lCE-S EEtAEh 'I1hhD VI,
The following is the substance of story
recently heard related at Coleman's Hotel, in
Washington city, from which it will be sc en-
that the prospect of applicants for office is ra-
Their precarious than otherwise.
Mr.. D said that short time since :, 4
man arrived in this city from the state of llli-
nois, (whom we'll call Simpson, in scare of
an Office. After making inquiries as to the best
person to aid him in procuring situation |, he
sought an introduction to Mr.. S., sta inch
democrat from New York. long and favor ably
known as the editor Of paper in that eli "
MIR. S. being somewhat of a wag, introd uced
him to an acquaintance of Colsaan's, who
was none other than the above named NJ r. d.,
of New York, whom Mr.. S. represented as a
friend and adviser of. the President, and as the
very person to whom all applicants for office
must apply.
The ofiice-sseker from the Sucker sta tie is a
man about six feet three in height, and one OF
the Calvin Edison mould. His hair vas red
and cut short, and his coat what "Dowl East"
would be called "mucke dlm," with c. ommon
metal buttons rather tarnish ed by age, he skirt
pointing downwards like a S wallow's ta'Ll-vest
of the same material, some inches two hort for
his pants, which were made of common sleeps
grey; his whole apparel ra ther the W orse for
wear. By the appearance of his arms nd legs,
which projected through his dress, ont would
suppose that he must have rown about six or
eight inches since the tailor had made the suit.
His head was protected by an old fashioned
castor, and his feet were cl 0thed with thick
white wool stockings, firmly set IN pair OF
thick brogan shoes.
As soon as the usual eeren lonies of an intro
duction were over, MIR. S. lie # the room, and
Simpson says
stranger, you look Ike good old demo-
crat of the first water, | sho aid have known
you Just as easy in a crowd of one thou sand
NV friend, Mr.. S. of New Yo rk, has told me
all about you, and if you i'll dc the clean
thing by Inc, and get me an 'ffiee right of, |
will do the fair and clean thin lg with you.
have travelled all the way fro IN Ellinois-and
two hundred and thirtysig mi les OIL these ere
legs-and have spent all the d. st except seven
dollars and half, which you ices in this old
stocking; and want an Office .rght oft, and
know you can do it!''
"Well, Mr. Simpson, what office do you
.ant?"
II want one of them things cross the wa
tiers they call Charge of somethin g want one
Of them, cause they pay beforeha I'D"
.'You mean Charge d'Aifairesl"
''Yes, stranger you have it, the fret time
can't talk Latin, Greek, nor Frenc b, BIZ! when
you come to the English, tell you what tits,
cant be beat. have beer all the way clean
through Daybel's 'Rithmetic twice, way down
TO ,Finis.' As for parsng-why, | tell you
what it is, and if you don't believe me go down
10 old Weathersield, Connecticut anti ask the
iolks-I have taken the medal twice! Here,
see that Jist see 'eme'
Il regret, Mr.. Simpson, to inform yem that
there are no vacancies at present"
4'Well, then, stranger, will take that are
other thing across the water at L!verpooE !
can't lust now think on't.'
You mean Consulship, suppose"
''Yes, stranger, that's the thing-l amt par
ticular, I'll take that"
swell, sir, | am sorry to say, that General
Armstrong has been appointed to that office"
"Ihen, stranger, some other thing must
nave right off. have come all the way clean
from Illinois, and if any critter is deserving,
It's me. I'll tell you what it is, have left
school where l got sixty-two dollars every
quarter, clean each, and fifty cents every Sun
day for leadin' the koar in the meetin' house
made sxty-seven stump speeches, bossed the
Taisin of seven hickory poles, and done other
tlings-so if arm earnt one of them are Off
oes, | don't know who has If YOU want to
know any more about me, ist 60 out to ILL.,
nois. They'll tell you all about this critter!-