Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1845-07-03
.AAInT1sA
IRON THE LoNnoS PUNCH
MRS. CAUDLE's
G u RTAIN LECTURES,


I STRANGE ON ms DAYS BINvsR---coln
MUTTON AND NO PUDDING. MRS. eau
DIE DEFENDS THE coin SHOULDER.
'Umph I'm sure Welt | wonder
what il will be nexti There's nothing
proper, now--notling at all. Better get
somebody else TO keep the house, thnk
! can't do il now, ii seems; I'm only IN
the way here; ia better take the children
and go.
"Wbat am | grumbling about now ~
It's very well for you TO ask thati I'm
sure I'D better be out of the world than---
there now, Mr.. Caude, there you arc
again shall speak, sir II isn't often
| open my mouth, heaven knows! Bot
you like to hear nobody talk bu. yourself.
You ought 10 have married negro slave,
and not any respectable woman.
YOU'RE to 60 about the house hooking
like thunder all the day, and Pm not 10
say word. Where do you think pud-
ding's to come from every day 7 You
show nice example TO your children,
YOU DO complaining and turning your
nose up at sweet pieco oil cold mutton,
because there's no pudding! You got
nice way to make 'em extravagant-- teach
'em nice lessons 10 begin the world wiib.
Do you know what buildings cost: or do
you think they ay IN ut ihe window
"You hate cold mutton The mere
shame 70. you, Mr.. Caudlc. Pm sur9
you've the stomach Of lord, you have.
No, sir; didn't choose TO hash the NIT
ton. It's very easy for you TO say hash
Il; but know what joint loses in hash
ing; IFS days dinner the less, il liza
a bit. Yes, dare say; other people
may have puddings with cold mutton
No doubt of it; aud other people become
bankrup;s. But ii ever you get into The
Gazette, it shan; be my fsut--no: III
do my duty as wife to you, Mr.. Caudle;
you shall never hove II to say that il was
ny housekeeping that brought you 10 beg
gary. No; you may suIk at the cold
meat hal ! hope you'll never live to
want such pieco Of cold mutton as we
had todsyi And you may threaten to
go to tavern TO dine; but with our pre-
sent meaus, not crumb of pudding do
you get from me. You shall have moth
ing bal 1.-THE cold ioint-noihng, as IN
Christian sinner.
yes there you are, throwing thoea
fowls in my face again. | know you
once brought homo pair Of fowls
know ~ and wern't You mean enough to
wau't 10 stop EN- out Of my week mo.
ney? Oh the sefshness- shabbness
of meni They can 20 out and throw
away pounds upon pounds with pack of
people who laugh at EN- afterwards; bu,
II it's any thing wanted for their owa
homes, their poor wives may hunt for ii.
| wonder you don't blush to namo those
fowls again ] wouldn't be so little for
the world, Mr.. Caudlel
"What are you going TO dol Gong
to get up? DON'T make yourself lilicu.
lous, Nc. Caudlei can't say word TO
you ike any other wife, but you must
threaten to get up. De DO ashamed Of
yourself.
"Podlings, indeed Do you think I'm
made Of puddings? Didn't you have
some boiled rice three weeks ago' Be.
SIDES is this the time ofihe year for pud-
dings? It's all very well i'll had money
enough allowed me Ike any other wife
10 keep the house with; then, indeed. [
might have preserves Ike any o,her wo-
man: now, rs impossible; aud It's cruel
yes, Mr.Caudle, cruel---of you to ex.
peatit.
"APPles arn't so dear, arntthey'
know what apples are, Mr.. Caudle, with.
out your telling nae. But suppose you
want something mora than apples for
dumpiings suppose sugar costs some
thing, doesn't IL And that's how IL is.
That's how one expense brings on anosh-
er, and that's how people 90 TO ruin.
'Pancakesi What's the use of yept
lying mGtterlng there about pancakes p
Don't you always have 'em once year
every Shroyo tuesday, And What
would any moderate, decent man wan't
morel
Pancakes, indeed Pray, Mr.. eau
die, mo, It's mouse your saying fac words
70 me 10 lei you 60 TO Sleep shantl--
pray do you know the price Of eggs iast
nowl There's not an egg you can trust
TO under seven and eight shilling; well
you've only just to reckon up how many
eggs-don't lie swearing there at the eggs.
in that manner, Mr.. CauGle, gnless You
expect the bed 10 oper under you. You
Sei y0utSti4 iSSPeCthOle lraueSman, |
supposed Ila! only wish people knew
you as well as | dol Swearing at eggs.
indeed! But Pm tired Of this usage. Mr..
Caudle; quite tired Of it; and doa't care
how soon it's ended.
'Im sure | do nothing bat work aud
iabour, and think how to make the most
oil every thing; and this is now I'm re.
warded. | shoald like to see any body
whose joints 60 further than mine. But
II was TO throw away your money into
the street or lay It out in fins feathers on
myself, should be better thought Of
The woman who studies her husband and
her family is always made drudge Of.
It's your fine lallal wives who'ye the beat
time oft.
whats the use Of your lying groan-
ing in that mannerl That won't make
me hold my tongue, !! Can tell you. You
think TO have il all your own way-bnt
you won't, Mr.. Caudlel You can insult
my dinner; look like demon, may saw
at wholesome piece Of cold mation--bsi