Portage sentinel. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1845-1854, 1845-06-26

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My text this morning is scontained in the 90
words:
Don. tell me you .havn't ,gottime,':: 6le..
-, mat other things claim your attenticni
iheres not the least reason or rhyme
in the wisest excuse you can mention:
Don't tell me about .other fish, AL taii
;. Your duty is done when you buy ems l
And you never will relish the dish, \. n H..
Unless you've scoman to FRY 'em..
My hearers--I have no doubt that after yols
have heard my discourse you will ask in ycsit
minds whether your preacher has taken unto
himself a wife, and is now luxuriating himself
in the tall clover Of connubial bliss, that he
preacheth thus. Therefore answer before.
time, No; but I have got measured for one.
and expect to con;ugate as soon % my some.
what diverged rays Of affection can be bro't
a little mere to focus through the burning
lens Of love. I deem it the duty Of all to
get marred--once in their life time, at least.
II is but yielding to the wise commands Of
nature. Every gander has his goose, and the
birds all mate at proper season. Who ev-
er heard ofan old gender going down to the
grave goslinless, unless he was preven'ed
from fulfilling his destination by the arbitra-
Try customs Of artificial society! 1t is God
who tells the brute creation 10 coliabit aud
propagate, without the fuss and iummery Of
"a long and tedious courtsaip; and they i'm.
plcitly obey even to wood-louse. The
same God also tells you to marry, and do the
best you can to be fruitful: but you don't do
1t. You frame some paltry excuse or other
such as q have other fish to fry TOO busy
to think oft now, circumstances won't per-
nit at present. I'll think oft by and by,' sc !;
and so you trudge on through the wide wdrll
alone, from the meridian Of manhood to the
object for which you were placed upon earth
and of no more use than the fifth wheel Of q
coach, moon IN the day time, lock withr
out key, or saddle and no horse to ride.
Young man! if you have arrived at tho
right point in life for it, let every other con.
side ration give way to that Of getting mar>
ried. Don't think of doing any thing else,
Keep poking about among the rubbish Of the
world till you have stirred up a gem worth
possessing, in the shape Of wife. NeveF
think of delaying the matter; for You know
that deluys;as well as wild boars are dan.
gerous. A good wife IS the most faithful
and constant companion you can have By. your
side while performing the journey Of lifc--
a dog isn't q touch to her. She is Of more
service, too, than you may at first imagine. She
can smooth your linen & your cares for you-
mend your trowsers, and perchance your man,
ners--sweeten your sour moments as we'll as
your tea aud coffee for you-ruffle your sAlst
bosom, but not your temper; and, instead or
sowing the seeds of sorrow in your path. she
will sew buttons on your shirts, and plant
happiness instead ofsharrOw teeth In y0nrbo~
som. Yes--and you are Too ,confoundedlY
. lazy or too proud TO do such work yourself.
she will carry swill TO the hogs, chop wood,
, and dig potatoes for dinner; for her love fas
, her husbands such that she will do anything
, to please him--except receive company in
her everyday clothes. When woman loves
she loves with a double.distilled devotedness;
, and when she hates, she hates on the highz
pressure principle. Her love is as deep "a
the ocean, as strong as hempen halter, and
3 immuiable as the rock Of ages. She wonk
{ change it except it is IN q very strong fit Of
{. jealousy; and even then it fingers as If 10th
to part, like evening twilight at the windows
!, of the west. Get married, by all means,
All the excuses you can fish up against do.
y ing the deed aren't worth spoonfall of pig
: cons milk Mark thls--if, blest with health
d and employment, you are not able to support
Q a wife, depend upon il, you arenot capable Of
9 supporting yourself. Therefore, 50 much the
more need of annexation; for il union, 90 we'll
as in onion, there is strength. Get married,
! repeat, young man! Concentrate your affec-
,ions upon one object, and not Distribute them
crumb by crumb among a hast Of Susans, Sa-
, rahe, Marys, Eizas, Betseya, Peggies and
y Notwithstanding each scarcely enough to
!. nbble at. Get married, and have somebody
to cheer you up as you journey through this
n ''lowly vale oftears "-rsomebody to scour up
a your dull melancholy moments, and keep
e your whole life, and whatever linen you ,poss
e sees, in some sort Of Sunday-go meeting
% order. g2E ftH5tc IT
e Young woman! need not tell you to look
i cut for husband; for know that, you ara
!, fixing coutrivances to catch one, and are as
3, naturally on the watch as cat is for mouse,
But one word in your ear, il you please.--
i Don't bait your hook with the artificial fly of
y beauty: if you do, the chances are ten to one
II that you will catch gudgeon--some silly
'e fool Of fish that isn't worth his weight in
eaw-dust. Arraythe inner lady with 4 beau. !.
Itiful garments of vivtue, modesty, truth, mo.
le rality, wisdom, and ophisticated love; and
J. you will dispose Of yourself quicker, and to
le much better advantage than you would Ii
T; you displayed oil the gewgnws, fipperjigs,
fol>de-rols, and fiddlesde-dees In che universe.
Remember its an awful thing 10 live and die q
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENT old maid! .g.,..., ,...,
" My hearers divide OFF into couples SEX
le ually, as soon as possible, If you would add
,; considersble to your own happiness, and 10
!, little 10 PosterIty -FOUR days upon earth arc
! but short at the longest, and they should be