The New era. [volume] ([Portsmouth, Va.]) 1845-1847, 1845-11-11
From the New Orleans picayune.
lam UNEASY P~REDICAMENr

AN UNEASY PREDICAMENT.
We were the witnesses of a ludicrous incids,,
which occurred IN this city a few DAYS since. e.,
relating which we crave the indulgence of the oen'
lleman directly conccrned-deeming it too good ,
joke TO be lost.
While sitting at our deck and laborine assidu.
onsly with pen, scissors and paste, to make on, a
readable paper for our patrons, we were suddenlv
" frightened from our propriety " by the hasty en-.
trance ct a gentleman, exclaiming, For Gods
sake, help me to see what's the matter! Ive got
some dreadful thing-scorpion or iaraniula-in
me!" 49, "P
we instantly rose from our chair, half frighten-
eo ourselves. Our friend had broken in so sud
ue"iy ana Unexpectedly upon US, and was SO won
ue''uiy agi'ated, that we knew not whether he
was 'hdeed IN his senses or not. We looked at
nun WIN a sort of suspicion mixed with dread.
aho haruly knew whether to speak with. or seize
and CONNIE him for a madman. The latter We
came near attempting. There he stood CULVER
ing and pale, with one hand tightly grasped upon
a part of his pantaloons just in the hollow of the
knee.
WHATS the matter 2" at last asked we.
=" The matier!" he exclaimed, : oh, help me
We got something here, which just ran up nv
leg! Some internal scorpion or lizard, | expectI
oh, cant let go; | must hold it. Alb, there .,
ne shrleked, =" | felt it move just then! Oh. these
pants without strapsi III never wear another
pair open at the bottom as long as | live. All! |
feel il again!"
Feel what 2" we inquired. siandins at the
same time at a respectful distance from the pens
tIeman tor we had just been reading our Corpus
Christi correspondents letter about snakes, lizards
ana 'arantulas, and began TO imagine snme deadly
insect or reptile in the leg of our friend'ss unmen-
tlonables," as they are sometimes called.
DON'T know what it ISL answered The gen.
tieman " hell me 10 see what it is. was lust
passing that pile of old rubbish there, in front of
your office, and felt it dart up my leg as qnick as
lightning, and it stopped just here, where have
my hand ;" and he clenched his fist still more
tightly. lfit had been the neck of an anaconda
we believe he would have squeezed it to a jelly.
by this time two or three of the n~ewsboys had
come In the clerks and packing boys, hearing the
cutlery. stopped working, and editors and all hands
stood around The sufferer with looks of mlnoled
sympathy and alarm.
Bring a chair, Fitz," said we, &c and let the
gentleman be seated"
oh, | can't sill'' said the gentleman; .I
can't bend my knee !-ifI do, it will bite or STING
me no, | can't sit!''
Certainly you can Sit" said we " keep your
leg straight out, and we'll see what it is you've
got"
" well, let me give it one more hard squeeze
III crush it To DEATH said he. and again he pu,
the force of an iron vice upon the thing. ri,
had any life by this time, this last effort must
have killed 1t. He then cautiously seated him
self, holding out his leg as stiff and straight as a
poker, A sharp knife was procured the pants
were cut open carefully, making a hole large
enough to admit a hand the gentleman put on a
nick glove and slowly inserted his hand, but he
discovered nothing. We were all looking on in
almost breathless silence to see the monstrous
thlng-whatever it might be; each ready to
scamPer out of harms's way should it be alive:
when suddenly the gentleman became, If possible.
more agltated than ever. BY heavens - he ex-
claimed, it's inside my drawers. Its alive tool
feel it!-Quick give me the knife again.
Another lncislon was made. In went The gentle
mans gIoved hand once more, and, 10! out came
his Ote'S stockingi
How the stocking ever got there zoe are una
Die to say but there it certainly was and such
a laugh as followed, we hav'nt heard for many a
day. Our friend, we know, has told the Joke
himself, and must pardon us for doing so. Though
this is all about a stocking, we assure our readers
1t is no " yarn"