Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1845-09-25
QUACK MEDICINES. -ANECDOT OF
REU BEN NATHANS.

We derive the annexed communication from a
correspondence" There are probably many people
now living who remember ,hc celebrated Jew
quack doctor, Reuben Nathans, who some forty
years since and whose medicines, the "Chlnese
l}alsam OF Lite" and the " Celebrated Hair lnvg-
Grating Lotion" made so much noise at that time.
But few, presume, have heard of the anecdote |
am about to relate concerning him. When the
Doctors medicines were first announced to the
world, simple minded laboring man purchased
one bottle of the Lotion and another of the Balsam
for his wife, who had conSumptlve cough of ma
ny years standing, and was besides threatened
with the total loss of her hair. The woman used
both remedies according to directions, aud as is
sual with ignorant people, in such cases, thought
they were really doing her vast deal of good
The cough seemed to her to be going away rapidly
she brealhed feer' while her hair appeared to
be coming back again thicker than ever. As a
natural consequence, she felt very great confidence
in the medicines and when the first lot OF Balsam
was all used, she sent her husband to get the bot
tie filed again. The doctor asked the man how
the medicine operated:
go, grandy % replied the husband: my wife's
coughs en- Almost gone, and her hairs all coming
back again fiery ever"
All" said The doctor, "thats the way my med
cnes always work. There's no mistake about
them. They're Just what call them, the greatest
wonders of the age | 'spoSe you've no objection
to give me your afiidavit;'
"Oh no." replied the man; that's Just what my
wife wants me to do"
The couple then repaired to the mayors office
where an affidavit was drawn up sworn to, and wit
messed. On returning to the doctors shop, the
quack took up the empty bottle for the purpose o
reiilllng 1t. Uncorkng 1t he put 1t to his nose ant
smelt of it.
"Why, what can this mean ?" he exclaimed, il
some establishment; and then after looking at tht
label, he smet of il again Why Sir, this ISM
bulsam, though the label says So out the hair 10
toni
{" lair lotion or not" replied the man pointing
to the bottle, that's what cured my wtes dreadful
cough, and the stuff in the other bottle at home i
what made her hair grow againm
Strange strange!" repeated the doctor with
puzzled countenance; q" don't know what to max
Of it. VIII you be kind enough, sir just TO ste
back and get me the other bottle the hair lotion
mean?'
The man did so, and soon returned with the Ia
tion bottle. The doctor took it, and applied hi
nose to the mouth.
"And this said he, "is just as surely the ba
sam the other is the lotion. Don't you thin
there some mistake on your part, sir? Ar
you sure that what was in this bottle made you
/ wlfe's hair grow again I"
"Just as sarn as Pm alive" replied the man
"for always turned it out myself, while Betse
! held the spoon"
he uOClOT sat uoWH III IL CHdil, anu lay iue u III
! ger on his nose, seemed buried in profound though
"Ah! Isee!" be at length exclaimed, and julnI
ing up, he filled the empty bottle again. Their
sir" said he, giving it 10 the man, aud hurrying hi
TO the door; "all's right sir; was little bothe
ed that's ALL Call again when that's gone, an
you shall have another tor nothing
AS soon as he had shut the door on his custome
the doctor called in his confidential man from Il
laboratory
"MosIles," said he, "we've made great mi
take in our guess work, after ALL I've been stud
ing YER hard, lately and have just discovered tn
our lotion is the stuff to cure the coughs and Il
consumptions, and the balsam is the besht to NAL
the hair grow We must change the labels"
} "That is unlucky," replied the man, 81 for wei
got four thousand bottles, two thousand Of ca,
kind, all ready to send away Tomorrow"
"Ve, VEL said the Doctor, 'you can change Il
labels if you have time; if not, send them of
they are. IT'S MT mosh matter ~ RniekerLoch
: Gossip.