Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1845-11-27
TINE FREE PRESS
.MrItt.p.
'nnAccuDENr.

M An ACCIDENT.
Az Dick va, sifesIing through Broadway
TrifIbs bis esne without attealion-
The crooked hsaale caught astraJ
4 LADY, dIssse- Where, veil no, neaiion .
pak eoiof-d--thsa, apoIogized,a
Sorry ths lady i dtess 70 josie;
i Asd sad she fell sshs1ed, surprised,
III 10 such way TO raise bsstte p
" ---------------4---- 4
Mrs.. Caudls ssSs-"Yes. it's all very
well 10 talk shout fortunes, made in no
tims-they're like shirts made 10 no time
-;fs Ten 10 one if obey bang Ionssage>
ther." !,
TECHNICAL EoAsr Franklin, ibe<s
OF bis professioE-ibe type Of honesty
the 4 Of sll-and although the o. Of
dsath hiss put q. 10 his existenee, every
of bic life il without
An editor Of IN exehsnge paper, 10 al.
aoaeeing csrlsin imp rove men,s. promises
70 give the ladies tsometAing whai'll tickle
en-. What can be mean
i 10 said that ihA eisitz now nowder
rinh. md be more .,s .no.r 40 :. ,b.y
nensui. Thspover 70 ..sS ..Roy. ~
4enplsssIy tithih The Pr : ho ioys - al;rl
yosss Il the last session 4. .. . rh.,r.
'iassA 10 lei ihsn do iheis, n.ll vom.r -.
Somek. when evils gsi, 81 ~ o. 80
angels esdily perforns win get 81. head
I Ss.,n VIII chen ,oDgs il be
..Hss this way.
{ f :
what for You don't mind your work
dar Samboi' said CufIee, 'you dam lazy
Niger l--you slwsysis more benefit den
profi-I wealdni gi5 your whites for
your clothes
Al sailor Ia Boston recently sued Bis
cspiSin for IN assault. Upon the trial il
was proved thai the ''battery" comprised
q, single kick. The sailor said be did not
lobieel to 90 occssionalkic from flesh and
blood. but be could not Island 10 be kick.
ed Min a woOaen leg -"
III PEKrErTLY SATISFIED, Shall have
the pleasure Of walizing with you. ma
dam = said i gentleman 10 dsshing mar,
ried lady. Thank you. sir. | have hug.
eing enough q, home"
We know young gentleman so fond
Of him self that he has actually gnawed
hole in bis looking glass. trying 10 kiss
his own shadow. Amt you glad be ain't
yodr husband, gals'
An artist 10 this city, painted an imita
ton 81 bottle OF spruce baer so natural.
ny. thai The cork few out before be could
paint The string 10 iasien il.
Place bone across pork rind. aud
you have Bony-part crossing the Rhine,
This il termed illustrated history.
II il suggested that The only real Simon
Pore natives in this country are the One.
idea indians.
'.Oh give me col, g q, the man said
when Waterman showed him lodging
place On the soft ride Of plank.
4 Hard TO Do.--A youthful witness was
on bis examioaiion 10 court Of justice:
The lawyer (who. BY ihe 5y had an un:
fortunate obliquity Of vision) was apx
ious 10 have the boys answers directly
addressedto The Judge. After while the
learned counsel ssid sLoRk a his honor,
as ! do now. and repeat Your answer"
Look as you do. sir r answered the
boy II can't do il. 'eaussyou squiats,"
The steamboat Neptune recently struck
asnag in the Mississippi. and being 10 .
sinking condition. tbescaptain rushed into
the cabin exclaiming-
"Gen,lemsns by heavens the boat viii
sink 10 Eve minutes .a
A passenger engaged in rolflng out a
box Of specie, rosrsd out 10 im?loring
Good gracious. captain cant you give
" ten :"
An English lady who VENT 10 make pu.
chases Al shop ia Jamaica. accompanied
BY her black maid. was repeatedly accos,.
ed BY the negro shopman as ''massa e
whersupon her sable follower exclaimed,
with alook Of infinite contempt
aWhy for you speak such bad English
{ No grammar. ,sf9 Why 10. you call my
missus 'insssas Stupid fellah l-him's
ashel"
s; His said that skiltsl French surgeon
recently replaced the corner oiAhe
eyes Of . young girl blinded by hs<smail
pox, With those Of young dog, md that
the patient can distinguish day HON night.
Absence Of MAD Is At present al The
70. The latest case We have heard is that
Of man who stole 4 cheese and eat .
rrindsloae in . state Of mental absence
He did not discoser bis mistake hll be
came 10 the hole intthe middle. when be
exclsimed--s,3y love! If I'D known thai
Z, thefats had been gnaying you I'd never
have touched ye r
Hate makes ls vehement par,izaas, bni
lore still more 90.
HOW TO WRITE FOR NEWSPAPERS,
l-Have something 10 write about.
2-wrise plain-dot your i's-cross
your ts-point your sen,ences--besin
80 18th eenifale