Mississippi Democrat. (Carrollton, Miss.) 1844-18??, 1845-02-26
CARRoLLT0N

TON MISSISSIPPI, WEDNl
know thai the guitar will give place. 10 a
catarrh, or that The tronlbones will be fol-
lowed by aching bones, is sickening. Go
to balls, parties, suppers get drunk
on a spree, and suffer afterwards There Is
some alienation ia your misery to know
thai there was fun and excitement in the
deed. But serenading is n cold blooded
business. Poh!--hire band and send
them round, with orders 10 bring home all
that is thrown out, even a chair, and next
morning, after a comfortable nights rest,
yon can gather in the laureIs.
Here, in the right of an experienced old
bachelor, permit us TO give one word Of adj
vice to lovers in general. Never spend
cent in lore making. If The girl is worth
having, you cannot purchase her with bou.
.quets and buggies, serenades and sonnets.
II adds TO the agony Of the rejected one TO
know, that he has lost not only his heart,
but his dimes. He may do as an old friend
of ours once did, make out biIl--stop,
we have it somewhere about-ahl here it Isl:
LIZA CATcnEM,
To DAyY DuMPs, DIR.
To l6 serenades, one dollar per serenade, $1,000
10 buggy rides, 81 so each, Is 90
50 bouquets, say one dollar per bouquet SO 90
92days' time lost, three dolrs per day, 276 90
$3.50 90
To this Davy added large sum in the
way of damages for friends lost and doc
tors bill. But this, however amusing.
will not heal light pocket any more than
it can cure a heavy heart.
In pursuit OF the widow we thinned and
paled rapidly. making, as Montezu-
ma Dawkins correctly remarks, is 'spuriy
fun" but it can't last forever, and in our
case we determined to end il or our exis-
tence by the untried experiment of "pop-
ping the question:" which was more easily
determined upon than accomplished. OPP
poriunity after opportunity escaped with
out accomplishing The object. Either cou-
rage oozed outatile proper momento the
widow, with the tact OF askilful hand, led US
from the point. But come il must; and we
fixed time, and inwardly swore the mat
ter should be settled then or never.
Returning in the evening from fash.
ionable church, the choir of which the WI
dow frequented, we determined should be
The occasion Of our DESPERATE undertaking.
We prepared little speech. We settled
ourseif into an untried pair of inexpres-
sibles, and passed nearly an hour in COM
pressing our understanding into new boots.
Finally, with pain at our heart and a pain
at our toes, we walked the widow 10
church. She passed up to the gallery, and
we seated ourselt in pew half way down
the principal aisle. The Rev. Mr. Leah,
erlungS was popular divine, and the house
was crowded to excess, and warm to sufii-
cation. The heat began soon TO affect our
pedal extremities. Our boots were toe
small in the first Instance; and before the
Reverend gentleman, was half through,we
were suffering the agonies of the damned
Talk of thumb screws and the rack they
are nothing to swelling feet in light boots
/ They grew worse every minute. We ha6
Ifevers and nurnbness-sharp pains, dul
pains, running pains, and throbbing pains
1 Our face was flushed-our body bent will
/ agony escape there was none. The ar
/ ehitects of the church understood human
nature, and placed the pulpit near the en-
francesca that after the congregation wal
i once seated, none could escape until thu
sermon had been heard and paid for. Nav
had the Reverend gentleman fallen dowr
in an apoplectic fit, and thereby left tn,
way clear, doubtful had il become whethe
we could have walked. Relief must b.
hadi and desperately cut our straps
| fixed our left foot under the stool used e
kneel upon, and gave a jerk. We upse
| the stool, and sent it with considerabl,
rumpus a dozen feet on the floor. We per
severed, however, pulled off one boot, am
4 leftthe other partly on. Delicious, oh de
+ licions beyond expression, was the relic
!, afforded While the congregation is dis
persing, we can easily stoop down and pul
on our boot. Delusive hopei The las
hymn was at last sung The benediciio
given--ihe congregation began to disperss
We stopped to try the boots--we pullee
we strained, we kicked, we ierked-bool
less--'twas allin vain. Not an inch woul
!. our foot advance Horrible fact! Ourlii
J, tie widow tripped down the aisle. and stoo
Z talking to the sexton, evidently waiting 70
Us, near the door. The refractory booi
would moi 90 on. Horrible facl
J We have danced waf-dance with th
u Potawattomies; we have gazed upon th
Il pyramids while resting under the shado'