The daily union. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1845-1857, 1845-06-11
From the London Punch.
MRS. CAUDLE,s CURTAIN LECTURES,

From the London Punch.
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES,
Mr.. Caudie has srpressed pish that one Of his nume
erous "ltie responsibilities" Of the masculine
gender. Mrs. Caudle is horror struck.
Mr.. Caudle, the judgments of Heaven will fall on
you. | should not be surprised If you were TO be
struck down. Finding fault with the order of ma
ture and repinng at the blessings that are thrown
into your lap! | wonder what you won't say next
Wishing one of our darling girls changed into
boy! Caude, you'll be punished for this. There
might as well be no punshments, if a man is not
made to feel them after such horrible wish
What are you fighting and swearing at that rate
With o, bed-bug! IL is not so, Caude; il is only
trick to stop me from saying word. ! cannot
speak word after come TO bed but there is a
shirt button, pudding, or bed-bug thrown into
my face. You may lay and talk, and find fault and
scod; but us soon as your slave of wife says a
word she's insulted with fling about bed-bugs, or
told to stop her everlasting tongue. And this is the
treatment ! receive, after shaving myself to boil a
nice pudding for your dinner! II WASN'T half done,
do you sayi Oh, Caude, if you don't come to pow
erty, and know what IL is to want mouthfu of
dinner, there is end of justice. Turning up your
nose at lovely, nice pudding, that tired your poor
wife almost TO death to cook!
And so you want a fissy, noisy tyke Of boy
about the house, instead of pretty little lady
Caudles' And shouldn't be surprised to hear that
you had mentioned il at that precious club of yours!
and the fellows there patted You on the back, and
told you that you ought to stand up for your rights!
| shouldn't wonder if that Prettyman went home
and told his wife of it, and had hearty laugh at
your making fool Of yourself. She's got house
full of noisy, dirty boys, and mighty proud she is
of them. Let me catch her laug hing at me because
my boys all girls Let me catch her, that's all
She wouldn't desire TO laugh but once--only once
boy in the housed First tearing this, then
Ihrpalx hat. he f,s hep
brought home kicked bya horse! When old enough
to about for himself, running away from school,
or going off to seal Perhaps when man, joining a
club--indeed know he would if he took after his
father! Caudle, was not prepared for this treat
ment. i have been il-treated laughed at, swore at,
and told TO hold my tongue, before had spoken
word; but it remained for this nights work
to finish my trials. Boys and bed-bugs flung at me-
as though was brute beast! J shall not survive
such treatment long-theres some comfort in that
shall die, or go home to mother-and you will be
left to find fault and scold to yourself. Don't tell
me that you was only in fun Fun, indeed! It. has
come to pretty pass, when you acknowledge you
are making fun Of your wife. Caudle, you tell
story. People don't come to bed to make fun
What do they come fori They come to behave
like Christian people, Not to twt of bed-bugs, and
then cry fun. There isn't bug in this bed-but
there is brute in ia brute, sr--that has wife
with the temper of amb--a pattern of patience
that is put upon every day she lives, by her hus-
band, because he knows her angel temper will not
resist--who seldom opens her mouth, and when
she does there is nothing but buildings, ylarks
or boys, or bed-bugs thrown into it,
Don't tell me that never spoke in my lfe--fhat
I'm dumb! Oh, Caudle, if it were possible thing
! should be out of temper. This treatment is hor-
rible! Never spoke word There's one word
wish never had spoke to you, sir When you
came bowling, and bending, and pleading, with
your hat in your hand, and your hypocritica
smiles, and beseeched me to make you SO unspeak-
ably happy as to become Mrs. Caudle, was fool
enough then to speak word that set you dancing
| about the room like great fool as you are. The
most unfortunate word ever said was yes, to your
impudence and sorry enough am for it. What
business had you to come around dear mothers
house, and beg me to go walking with you, and a
wheeling me with your nonsense
Oh, you're not asleep, then. What did you say,
Mr.. Caudei You wish had said nor Caude,
cannot endure this! | can't. If were not patient
Christian, should die under the burden!
l suppose when you get through at that club of
yours you tell those pretty fellows there, that you'll
go home and make fun of your wife-or catch bed
bug o, that should ever live to be made fun Of
| Don't tell me! I've no doubt you say so. You talk
all the time, and can hardly speak word for my
self. But the time will soon come, Caudle, when
you will not have your poor Margaret to find fault
with, and make fun Of feel it coming on. eau
die, j am breaking down. You may laugh and
kick round, but you will find it So aint a stock
nor stone! Done the best could, as have, and
then be twitted because we have no boys among our
little ones-as though that was my fault-as though
my Clementina, and Arabella, and Ariminta, and
Zuabella, and Sophama, and Angelica, are not bet
ter than all the noisy hallowng boys in the king
dom. Oh, Caudle, you are cold-hearted-ma-
king NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
FAT this time says Caudle's MS, my wife's
tongue rested-and after | fell into troubled
sleep-in which saw visions of dirty-faced boys
Mrs. Caudle in fts--and thought bed-bug as large
as an elephant rested on my breast.