Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, 1845-05-31

IN the days of "good Queen Bess;" but, with
all due Difference TO the knowledge Of human
nature as possessed by the "sweet bard Of A.
von." it will not answer our locomotive and en-
lightened times We propose to construct a
thermometer that will not only suit the meridi.
an. atmosphere. and climate of the democratic
city of Lancaster, bot can be consulted with ad-
vantage in any part of Uncle Sans dominions.
Here goes
Tho Twenty.four Stages or Men.
Age.
- The School boy. Warm pursuit of know.
ledge by erfernol applications.
Is. Imporfunate in his demands for a coat
with ais, and his prcjhdlces run strongly in
favor Of cravats and perpendicular shirt collars.
16 Smokes his first cigar. and finds there
is way OF "casting up accounts" not laid down
in Dnboll.
II l. detected in an unfrequented part of
The house scrapng some ather of his face
with an instrument family resembling razor.
Bushes when addressed by the title OF "Mis-
ter"
Is Very particular about his dress-changes
color-and tremhles violently-when in the
company of "loyely women" Thoughts con-
stantly running on matrlmony, and discovers
,h, he is great avorte ith "old girls
49, Gets (frst time) particularly drunk with
with the usual headache, nausea, and repent
ance. When sobcred, attributes the reelings
steps, thick speech. and ex'rsordlnary desire
manifested to fight and destroy. to something
disagreed with him.
% Affects to look mpudently at girls in
the streets, and evlnces a more than paterna
feeling for pair of sckly whi-kers
hours.
%. Declares he will have might key"
His mother groans, and intimates that he is 90.
ng to destruction.
23. Is more attentive to business, and de-
cidedly partial TO balls, pic MICS, aud evening
parties. lsa very enthusiastic politician, and
gives his opinion freely about men whose cha
racters he does not understand, and about mea.
sures which he cannot comprehend.
"a. Is desperately IN love with some we'll
made, bright eyed, rosy checked girl, who shows
a good foot and ancle when the street crossings
are in a mudy condition. He rides with the
",ender object" takes her to balls, pleasure
parties ad public exhib'tions-makes her divers
presents-ice creams her regularly during the
summer solsice-and finds that courtship is a
phlebotomser OF plethorc purses.
%. Pops the question, and is quite ovrrpow-
cred with the "ycs, thank you, sir" of the de-
Igh,ful maiden. Two miniatures are takrn.
and a brace of heads are minus small quantity
of hair
&c. Mnrries, after being on good behaviour
fo, twelve month, Honeymoon. Ecs'atlc
delight-perf;c c. bliss ! Union of hearts, souls,
wardrobes and purses. A little paradise, in a
little two story brick house, and little Eye
walking about newly furnished little parlors,
(ather.in laws must bleed on such occasions }
contemplating her imported furniture with all
the vanity Of young house.keeper and with
all the freshness of feeling which hovers about
Young bride.
-. Dl covers that he must cut the ncquant
ance OF his bachelor frIenis-keep regular
hours-and attend crurch regularly. Misses
the epcurean comforts OF hotel. and is ire
! quenry RECALLED with complaints against the
servants.
! 2S. 1t is demonstrated to him that the mar
rage state is no, state of bliss, and that the
"iear angel" of his courtlng days has ccStaln
lmperfeclions of temper.
20 Longs for soc,a'y, and an intmation is
rhereupon given that the society of ones wife
| is quite sufficient.
| 33 Grey hairs peep forth, and wrinkles cus.
| ter about the corners or the eyes. Sadly dis
,urbed at night by squallng children. Differ.
ent taris from those so highly priced in his
youthful days.
SO. Commences to lose all relish for what
was formerly esteemed pleasures.
| 40 Goes in for substantial comiorts--is mat,
ter OF fact in his conversatIon-has red nose
rubicund countenance-and body like beeI
barrel.
As Shores in church to the grelt mortica
ton of his grown.up daughters.
80, Finds that his presence in the parlor is
not so highly priced by the young folks as i
might be. Fancies that children regard lheil
paternal parents as old cocks expressly made 4
furnish them with money