The Washingtonian., 1845-06-07
FIFTEEN CENTS PER MONTH.
81 knew I" exclaimed the wretched hus-
,and, desperately tossing his arms aloft, as when

81 knew it! !" exclaimed the wretched hus-
band, desperately tossing his arms aloff, as when
all is lost. I" l knew itl''-and leaving one
coat flap in the hands Of his wife, who vainIy
attempted to detain him he rushed from the
room-sprang down the stairs, both flights. by
two and three stairs at time--ran along the
passage, and without his hat, or gloves or stick,
dashed out at the street door. sweeping from
the steptwo ragged little girls, quartern loaf,
basin Of treacle, and baby. But he never
stopped to ask if the children were hurt, or
even to see whether the infant dripped with
gore or molasses. On he ran, like arabid dog,
straight forward, down the borough, needless
alike of porter's load, bakers baske, and
butchers tray.@
II say" mutiered the errand boy, rs he stag
gered from the collision.
"Do thai again." growled the placard man,
as he recovered the pole and board which had
been knocked from his shoulder
= Mind whore you're goin'," bawled haw-
ker, as he picked up his scattered wares; whilst
adandy, suddenly thrust into the kennel, launch
ed after the runnerone of those verbal missiles,
which are said TO return, like the boomerang,
to those who launch them
But on, on, scampered the Teetotaler, heed
less Of all mpediments--on he scnared, like
he Camilla, to the shop number 240, with the
red, blue, and green bottles in the wIndow-thc
chemist and druggist st's--into which he darted,
and up to the little bold man at the desk, with
barely breath enough left to gasp out I" My
Wife !--Poison land Pump!"
vegetable or mineral!" inquired the Sur
geon-A Apothecary, with great professional cool
sess.
"Both--all sorts--laudanum-- oxalic
acd-corrosive sublimate and the Teetotal-
Ter was about to add pineapple rum, amongst
the poisons, when the doctor stopped him.
SIS she sick 81
"No" But remembering the symptoms over
night, the Teetotaller ventured to say on the
strength of his dream, that she was turning all
manner Of colors, like rainbow, and swelling
as big as house.
"1'hen there is not moment to lose, !" said
the Esculapius, and accordingly capping on
his hat, and arming himself with the necessary
apparatus--a sort Of eaphantine syringe witha
very long trunk--he set off at trot, guided by
the Testotaller, TO unpoison the rash and i'll
fated bacchanalian, Mrs. Burrage
And did he save her -
"My dear madam, be content to let that issue
remain a little, and accumulate interest, like
\ sum in the savings bank Ss
!. Now, when the Teetotaller, with the medi-
cal man at his heels, arrived at his own house,
~
was great convenience, for before she could
account for the intrusion of stranger, nay,
even without knowing how it was done, she
found herself seated--more zealously than ten
derly or ceremoniously--in the easy chair;
and when she attempted to expostulate, she
! felt herself choking with a tube Of something,
which was certainly neither maccaroni, nor
stick-liquorice, nor yet pipe-peppermiDt.
To account for this precipitancy, the exagge-
rated representations of her husband must be
borne in mind and if his wife did not exhibit
all the dying dolphn-like colors that he had
described-f she was rot quite so blue, green,
yellow, or black, as he had painted her, the
apothecary made sure she would soon be. and
consequently went TO work without delay,
where delays were SO dangerous,
! Mrs. Borage, however, was not woman to
submit, quietly, to dsagrecable operation,
against her own consent, so, with vigorous
kick and apush at the same time, she contrved
to rid herself at once of the doctor and his in
strument, and Indignantly demanded to know
/ the meaning Of the assault upon her.
"It'sto save your life--your precious life,
Ellen" said the Teetotalier, looking at her very
solemnly
"I.'s to empty the stomach, ma'am," said
the doctor. @s @ f.a
| empty fiddle" retorted Mrs. Burrage,
VINO would nave added STICK" !" but the doctor
watching his opportunity, had dexterously pop
ped the tube again into her open mouth, not
without fresh scufle from the patient.
| "For the Lords sake, Ellen,'' continued the
Teetotaller, confning her hands, " do, do pray
do sit quiet"
"Pob--wob--wobble," said Ellen, Hub
bub-bub-bubbe," attempting to speak with
another pipe in her throat, besides the windpipe.
Shave the goodness, ma'am, to be conpo-
sed." implored the doctor.
81 WON'T" shouted Mrs Burrage, having
again released herself from the instrument BY
a desperate struggle. "What ami to be pump
ed out for?' si.
"Oh, Ellen, Elen," said the Teetotaller,
.you know what you have taken." II
Corrosive salts and narcutlcs," answered
! the doctor. a4
"Assnic and corrosive sublimiiy," said the
| Teetoaller.
"Oxalic acid and tincture of OPIUM added
the doctor. aa .aa
Fly water and laurel water" said Mr. Bur-
| rage. a"
"Vitrol, prussic acid, and aquafortis," con-
tnued the druggist
| "I've took no such thing" said the refrac-
tory patient.
"Oh, Ellen, you know what you said" 81
| swell what!' EA
"Why, that your drinking should never trou-