The Ripley advertiser. [volume] (Ripley, Miss.) 1843-1897, 1845-05-03

/. one on tho Sborig's Net Of juror; call then
n again.
o Here the clerk called them over again, snt
. although there were but II Jurors IN the box
y one OF whom was q voritablc John Smith, who
. was 90 obiuscsicd with what had transprcd
V That he answered TO the namo twice, and, ~ Ia
0 'elt that tho matter was becoming personal, hs
!, answered with tremendous vociicfation, and
0 highly excited. II he thought that loud an.
n swcr would clear up tho mystery he was very
n much mistaken
}, Here oulspoke an attorney who thought him.
scii very wise, and sad as the name OF John
!. Smfh was very common name, he had NO
doubt there were two men Of The same name in
q the box.
g Cour.--SherH, who summoned these iurorsl
Q Sherifi.-My deputy, John Smith.
Attorney General-ls there no end TO human
calaml,es,
i Here an unhedgcd attorney, who had read
Shakespeare more than Blackstone or the Bible,
, exclaimed. 81 could not this believe without
the sensible and true avouch OF mine own eyes,
and, may add, ears"
About this time the Attorney Generals eye
who was growing very impatient, happened 10
gid the forehead OF young member OF ME bar
who had responded from his youth upwards, To
, The multitudDous name of John Smith, when
The former broke out upon him with a tumble Of
Interpretations.
+ "Abjure thy country, and forswear Thy name
Let Thy pernicous name stand, aye, accursed IN
The catalogue" -
Court What. supposlng call all the names
in the box except John Smiths!
Court-Go on.
The clerk called all the names except John
h Smiths, aud there were only 10 jurors in the
q box, barring the Smiths.
Clerk-l told your honor teforc that Their,
/, were but II jurors in the box
Il C3urt-(Counting the jurors and c!evatin!
4 his dexter fore finger at each individual h
:, counted) 1t is even so; there were IL before
: Lucifer has dropped into the boz, in the shap
: of John Smith, and vanished again withou
: leaving the smell OF birthstone behind him.
: Court continues) Let all the John Smith,
. who are empanne led in the petit jury TO,
: stand up; and accordingly one very dmnu,iv
individual ehot up, his head scarcely taller thai
those of the other sitting members.
;, AT this crisis, very good looking man upo
: the jury, after looking carefully around him toll
the Court there were two different and distinc
! jurors who answered to the name of John Smit
to the best OF his knowledge and belief.
Silence, sir, interposed the Court, but the re
, mark mad It's weight with rns CURT fbr all lia'
as the Court had affirmed before, there were Il
Jurors ia the box, and afterwards acknowledged
there were but IL.
/ Cour,--Sir are you veri,able John Smith!
/ John Smith--lf it please your honor, dent
understand "veritabe."
Court-You don't! Is your baptisma name
John? Are you John Smith,
John Smth-May itplease the Court, never
was baptized.
| Court--This is no time TO trifie with the
| Caurf.--vou don,f undar ef nd vorif hlo1S Do
you understand keel haul--Qhe Court had been
sailor once.)
| John Smith-No, sir.
| We'll, if all the John Smiths were keel hauled,
as they ought to be, they would be baptized
with witness. Answer the question: SIT; is
your name John Smith!
| John Smith, am so flabbygasted that |
hardly know my own name from any other
body's; | behve my name is John Smith. /
could not conscientiously swear to it.
Court-W What is your trade, occupation, and
calling. Report.
John Smith, am gunsmith
Attorney GeneraI-He is son Of agun.
Court-Are you not nephew of John Can.
non of Cyres township.
John Smith-Yes sir.
Court--(musing)- family has degenera-
ted wonderfully; he is mere pistol. Sheriff.
stand nearer to the juror, or he will 60 eff like
his invisible namesake.
! Attorney General--The Court had better dis
charge him.
| Court-Sit down, John Smith. Clerk, see
to the Grand Jury; they are coming in.
Clerk-Genilemen OF the grand jury, have
you any bills.
Foreman-I hold some bills in my hand, but
we have no quorum. Upon calling the names
10 the grand jury room, the right John Smith
was absent, and the John Smith, as he calls
himself and fances himself grand juror, is not
the one at all; he ia a stranger TO me. Grand
Jury here retired, but John Smith went with
them, and succeeded in persuading them that
he was grand jaror.)
About this time the little John Smith hustled
up, and manifesteda desire TO be with the grand
Jury, when the Court interposed.
/ Court--John Smith, are you grand juror!
! John Smith, don't know, sir-i am juror.
Court--From what township!
/ John Smith Moon.
! Court thought so. You have .s,rick-
! en- the whole OF ue!
Constable--make way for the grand Jury.
Clerk--Genl emen of the grand -
I Call over their names.
And the names were called; the last man
who answered to his name was John Smitn. Z
Clerk--May it please the Court, the grand
liurv has Quorum now with John Smith.
i Foreman-Here are six true bills, and four
1 ignoramuses..
Sheriff--lfit pleases the Court. III; ok the
asst John Smith that answered TO his name in
, the grand juty box is petitjuro. from Middle
sex townshp, know him--he makes rifles
for shooting matches
Coust He has tiaed Ne GU. Of days work
/ ..s-~ .s'-~ -'~-