Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1844-02-23

dress to do it Shall say that never couried,
because lacked cotutliness and courtesy? Why,
I should think myself almost unpardona6ly wrong
ed by the very suspicion that these, any of
these, are facts. Shall appeal to your compass
sion, by representing that have been the victim
of repeated reiusas Shall pitcousy hold forth,
that am an unmarried man, because there was
no alternative that ara bachelor nolens uolens 3?
Truth, trumpet-tongued shouts out an indignant
no. If never TO have been pighted is ipso )dcto
proof bad plight, conscientiously feel 1t TO be
my duty to give all women TO know BY these
presents that do most soemnlv acquit them one
and all of the least agency in my misfortune. 30
lar IRON their having contributed to put or rather
TO keep me in my present state, can with the ut
most assurance say, that, am single man, not
in consequence, but in spite Of them. With the
adies-and oh at the mention of their name, I
cannot forbear invoking the stars to shine proptl-
Gus upon their destnes--I have always been a
universal favorite. For many years, was it my lot
to be the admired OF all fem nine admirers. Yes,
woman has never belied her intuitive perception
of all that is lovely and of good report by failing
to appreciate my merits. Between you and my
sell, hlessrs. Editors, Il is my sober belief that
have innocenty been the most frequent occasion
of the violation of the tenth commandment a
mong the fair of all Objects animate or inani-
mate, under the sun. Time would fail me to re.
count the thousand attempts made to reduce my
stout heart to their possession. The passionate
gaze, the electric glance, the thrilling ogle, the
significant wink, the expressive nod, the aurlDg
smile, the charming blush the melting tear, the
soft anguishing, the enchanting airs, the wltchlng
graces the tender sigh, the sweet whisper the DEL
icate inuendo, the sklful compliment, the warm
protestation, The vehement vow, the broken sob,
the couEterieted swoon, the newspaper sonnet,
the nosegay present, the scented valentine, the
gilt-edged bet-doux, the silk and the satins, the
Iaces and the necklaces, the powders and the per-
fumes, the ribbons and the rouge, the rings and
the ringets The locks aud the lockets, the ruffs
and the ruflss the frs, the founces, and the fur
bellows in short, the whole battery of arts and APP
piances, that womens wit can bring into the field,
when bent upon subduing the proud heart of man,
has been brought to bear against the, and brought
to bear in vain Oh it is to me matter of un-
ccasing marvel, that the Gibraer my affections,
which has been SO closely beset fort pericdr four
times longer than the siege of Troy, has never ca
ptuated to some of the countless hosts that
have invested it. Sorey indeed has my hearts
citadel been beleagured. Not an artifce has been
unresorted to- not man1uvre has been lett un.
prac,ised. They have tried sopping, ard they
have tried storming They have tried circumval-
laion, and they have tried conravallation. They
have tried the caEnonade, the escalade, and the
blockade. Every kind Of approach has been at
tempted, every ruse essayed. The whole scepce
of female strategy, vast its resources are known
to be- has been exhausted. Why, it was no lon
ger ago than last month, that some half score OF
tOrIOrn Ola HlaluS,-l DeS THEIR phTuoiiJ eiuoiiy
maidens, should have sad-made desperate ny
the failure Of all other means, and yet credulous
enough to take for sober fac. the words Of the po.
ct,
There swims goose gray, but, soon or late,
She finds some honest gander for her mate,
as the last resort, betook themselves to drugging
my daily food, with phillers and love-potions-
pretty formidable agents truly, but, they had no
more effect upon me, than lad poisons upon Mith'
ridates the king of Pontus. After the unsuccess.
full issue this last experiment, these baed spin
s,ers were SO insuria,ed by disappointment, that
was in continual apprehension Of experiencing
the end of the Thracian Orpheus, who, as histo-
ny relates was torn in pieces by his amable coun-
try women for precisely the same kind Of conlu.
macy of which am found guilty. Thanks, how.
ever, TO the PROCESS OF the law since the days Of
: the Inflated iddler Of yore, have been enabled
to "swear the peace" upon these hatchers of ini-
quty and trust that shall escape thereby his
2 untimely DEATH But let things by-gone be by
gone. am occupying too much space in youl
paper and it is time TO revert TO the original ques
?, ton, " How happens 1t that you are an old bach
q elor" Now do not pretend that haveye Civ
en- direct reply but opne that the true rea
e son is just matter Of inference from what hav'
n already said. If not, why then, l have only e
v repeat with Sir John Fallstaff, of precious mem
: DRY, "say il is my humor; is it answered ?"-
o Whether SO or not, the glorious fact remains tn
4. same, that am bachelor, who has Just attained
HIS BTdIiu CiitTuCteTiC, uuu eau iuy HIS uuuu upUi
: his heart, and proudly feel it to be his own.
l. shall never attempt dsguisethe fact, that wheth
r er for L" better OF worse" am in contented stat
a OF confirmed celibacy.
IS In conclusion, have only to disclam the slight
o est intentional reflection upon The weaker sex, Ell
% Their individually or collectively; for no cayae
|, ever bowed to them with more deierental HON
- age, more ready 10 tilt his strongest lane
Il in defence of their fair name. Although neve
# their vassal, have always been and shall alway
4 be their champion. Yet let me not be rnisunder
q stood. In exalting women, l shall never consen
If to degrade myself. For, as gave you to under
:. stand last week, am sensible of my own worth
D. 'As for my single SELF
IN 1t ia truth, 1 will maintain,
Until my dying day. sir,
., that atm the pink of old Bachelors the mirror
= true chiyalry The living emblem OF amlabilit!
). and " take Inc all in a," tho most incompatible
- old fellow extant SO
NJ Valeat Venus, valeant que puellae,
sr as Tibullus says, or in plain English, Good bye
" Venus and the Girls.