The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1844-11-26


they're bad colds"
"What if you do, periodically considered what's
| a man in comparison 10 a vote--whats a.bad cold
compared to gloryl Your vote won't ke,ch cod ;
and if the worst should happen, we'll have para
graph about in the newspapers and at every election
that is TO come we'll be able TO coax all toe sick vo-
tiers to turn out by telling em how II was the death
of you. Youth be immortal I'D cheap"
| Peleg also consulted Smpkins, who is on the 9TH
er side relative The same distressing matter; but
| Simpkins for once agreed with Timpkins to the
proper method of procedure. II was his decided OPT
| MON that il Ptleg should chance to be unwe he
must of be carried to the polls, at oil hazards
because, as Mr.. Siuipkins observed in kindly man.
| her, cit wasn't OF no consequence whatsumdever, it
Peeg w. Ponder, did defuncl, his vote had
been got in They could send him home after the
| polls had closed.
"a man can't live forever, you know, Peleg," said
Sinpkins, in the way of consolation and you've
been about here good while, it can't make much diff
ference-after you have voted. There will he plen
~ Of ns LETT And thus, finding no encourage
ment among his friends, on either side in reference
to his favoIle project, Peeg abandoned the idea OF
being sick, ptcialy he remembered that the
ter in cab fariDg with placards and streaming with
banners, has no chance ALL Political cabs al
ways distinctly and decidedly for somebody an those
who ride in them are likely be set down as being
! for the same person.
/ at won't do, groansd P-lsg ia man can't posi-
bly, ride in two cabs, in more than bus--Lol at
|
| legs any how-a leg each side-a hand on each
side-yes, and sharp eye each side. All want
| is vo each side, so that might 90 in to EN-
right and left swing corners; sashay, and lemonade
all round"
Chance! l, struck Peeg tina. he would have re-
course to chanct-tO the SORES VirgilianG-to de-
eide upon what should be the nature of his vote, from
feeling that perhaps genius hovers in the air, who,
if properly appealed TO, will direct the cratic and
doubtful steps OF the great family of tn, Ponders. He
beook hinseIftoa by-place, and after looking eau
tously around, Peley drew a penny from his pocket
Heads is Simpknss side--aiIs is imp kins's side
which ever comes up oitnest, hats my side" Tired
ofcoppers, he drew lots-weaiied with lots, he had
recourse to various other means; but he felt
sufficiently satisfied 10 stop, these devices left him
pretty much as he was before. 81 WISH" said Peleg,
81 could only come ACROSS the man who fool
enough to invent these elections-Pd like 10 know
who found out about voting, just to plague me every
year. Nice business to be sure to be compelled to
| think-to do something when you don't know what
to do; and to be something when you don't know
what to be-jns al if all mans time to be tax.
en- up in thinking and doing, and being, that he
i can never be done. What side is Peeg w Ponder
on? Side what do 1 care about side? Why
can't man be his own side, and know who's going
to win, that he may hurrah right, and have loaf
| and fish That's the kind of side | want-inside--
that suits me but somehow or other, always get
ouslde-wrong side-i'o her side-downsde, instead
ofupside" and Peleg sighed beside, be resolved that
he would exercise the utmost judgment on the occa-
soD which was about TO present itself, that he might
"this side up with care" for in his life,
and have lucrative side at last If not, he would
; be beside himself.
"Men ask me what | think Of this candidate and
his principles and Of that candidate and his prnci-
pies. Stuf!-what do the candidates think of Peeg
w. Ponder and his principles Which of them is
the most sensible man, and thinks good fat Of
fee and big arm chair-the thumpingest salary and
plenty of other people TO do the work, while cut
my name on the table with knife that | didn't have
to buy2 He's the right kind of man-he thinks 10
the purpose and if was sure he'd be elected. I'd
vote for him often they would let me- and ask no
questions.
elf | had only thought Of it in time, would have
organized myself into town meeting, and appointed
myself Committee of Correspondence to write
to the candidates to ask them their sentiments. No
voting in the dark for me- What's your candid OPT
Mon, public private, Of the claims of Peleg w.
Ponder upon this great republic-what DO you think
bis services worth and in Of your election,
what do you pledge yourself to give him, no back out
and no dodgpg round the corner ~
Slowly sauntcred Peleg TO the election ground for
| 1mpkns and Sim pkns-both sides--had promised
to come for him in that he did not appear the
polls IN the course OF the morning. Peleg stopped
al the head quarters and took kets from every body
| who offered him one, until his pockets quite
full Indeed, he carefully read each ticket it
| quite sure il was right. He studied all the placards
as If he sought relieve his mind by the recrea,ons
Of light literature, and by the graces of classical com
position and he neatly winked his eye out, by work
ing his visual optics right and left, to the leaders Of
party to convince them all round that Peeg w. Pom
der is the man 10 be relied on at pinch.
i "Ali this is enough" said Ponder, " a
! don't require a side for this sort Of busness-but
what shall do when go the window-how then ~
HurrOh, there, Ponderl" cried Simpkns and
Tmpslns in BREATH each of them, with hostile
tIckeIs and conflicting pacards, rushed joyously to-
wards the doubter.
Il &" This is the ticket,n exclaimed Simpkins.
i ooh, go 'way-this is the ticket that Ponder al
ways votes, dead OF alive-isn'l It, Ponderin added
Tmt kns
Il Nonsense Ponder knows tha, this ticket is the
only warranted TO the republic without salt "
said Smpklns.
u "Ponders no fool though you think him one-if
this ticket is not carried, the country mi lht list
well be set fire to, and no mines to play upon IT,"
Il "Withoutus, the grass won't grow"
" And If we don't get in that's all the grass will
have to do-there WON'T be any Tor hay, no
more"
Thieves !" said Simpkins, in a rage.
OR bbers ~ reoined Tmpkins in a fury.
"Swindlcrs aud deiudprs y cried Sn,psins.
Rascals and rufians" added Timpkins.
"Donr believe 'em Ponder-6bs, islsehoods and
fam ~
mot a word of truth in anything they say-all ca
lumniazotion and ACKNOWLEDGMENT"
| "Genllemen gentlemen, be cool, chimed in Pom
der; upon my soul, if don't believe you both-i
takes me to be impartial, and to have equal faith in
TimpkiDs and SImpkins-Timpkins is right, and
SimpkIns is right That's the way ] make myself
agreeable to every body. Tmpkins says Smpkins is
a rogue. Very good Simpkins says hat TImpkns
is a rascal just so. There is proof that each Of
you wants TO ruin the country. Per ectiy proper.
If one don't get ~ the grass won't grow and IL The
other don't get in, there will be body to use the
grass if il does grow. Right both ways-fst rate
fellows every which way, accordn't TO your own
showing Now, ten, which side is going to win ~
"Ours ~ shouted both
"Bet you haiti
"A suit Of clothes "
= "Oyster supper for SIX
GA champagne blow out for Dine-snapping tur-
ties and venson seaksm
1.-TWO 10 one "