Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, 1844-05-25

himself very wise, and said as the name of
John Smith was very common namc he had
no doubt there were two men of the same name
in the box.
Court--Sheriff, who summoned these Jurors
Sherifi-My deputy, John Smith.
Attorney Generals there no end to human
calamities
Here an unhedged attorney who had read
Shakespeare, more than Blackstone or the BIZ
Bile, exclaimed Il could not this believe with
eyes, and may add, ears
About this time the Attorney Generals eye
(who was growing very imPatienO happened
to gid the forehead af a young member of the
bar who had responded from his youth upwards
to the multltudinous name OF John Smith, when
the former broke out upon him with tumble
of misquotatlons.
'Abiurc thy country and forswear thy name,
Let thy pernicious name stand aye, accursed
in the catalogue
Court-We are making no progress in this
affair
Clerk-What, supposng call all the names
in the box except John Smiths
Court-go on.
The clerk called all the names except John
Smiths and there were only ten jurors in the
box, barring the Smiths.
Clerk told your Honor before that there
were but eleven jurors in the box.
Court-(Counting the jurors, and elevating
his dexter re.fnger at each individual he
counted) 1t is even so; there were twelve
before. Laciier has dropped into the box, in
the shape of John Smith, and vanished, again
without leaving the smell of birthstone behind
him. Court contihues.) Let all the John
Smiths emponnelled in the petit jury box stand
up; and accordingly one very diminu,ive indi.
vdua shot up, his head scarcely taller than
those of the other sitting members.
At this crisis, a very good looking man up.
on the jury, after looking carefully around him,
told the Court there were two different and dis
tinct jurors who answered to the name Of John
Smith, to the best of his knowledge and belief.
Silence, sir = interposed the Cou-t, but the
remark had It's weight with the Court for all
that; as the Court had affirmed before there
were twelve jurors in the box, and afterwards
acknowledged there were but eleven,
Court-Sir, are you verita bic John Smith
John Smith-If it please your Honor, | don't
understand 'veritable!'
Court-Iou DOM! IL your baptismal name
John Are you John Smith
John Smith-May it please the Court. |
never was baptized
Court--This is no time 70 trifle with the
Court-you don't understand 'veritable' DO
you understand 'keelhauP ?-(The Cour, had
been sailor once
John Smith-No sir.
Cour,-Well if all the John Smiths were
keci-hauled, as they ought 20 be they would be
baptised with witness Answer this question,
sir is your name John Smith :
! John Smith, am so fabbygss,ed that
/ hardly know my own name trcm any other b.
! dy's; believe my maine is John Smith.
could not conscientously swear to it
Court-'What is your trade, occupation, call
ing, reportH
John Smith, am gunsmith =
Attorney General--'fle as a son of gun y
Court-'Are you not nephew of old John
Cannon, Of Cyres townshipT
John Smith-'Yes sir
Court (nlusiRg)--' family has degenerat.
ed wonderfully he is mere pistol Sheriff.
stand nearer to tho juror, or he will go of like
his invisible namesake.'
Attorney General--'The Court had better
discharge him.
Court-'Sit down, John Smith Clerk, see
10 the Grand Jnry-they are coming in
Clerk Gentlemen Of the Grand Jury, have
you any bIllS!'
Foyemsn--l hold some bills in my hand, be-
we have no quorum. Upon calling the name
in the Grand Jury room, the right John Smrti
was absent, ard the John Smith as he call
himself, and fances himselfa Grand Juror, i
not one at all (; he is stranger to me- (Gran,
Jury here retired, but John Smith went witt
them, and succeeded in persuading them tha
, he was Grand Jeror.)
About this time the little John Smith hustle
up, and manifested a desire to 90 with n
Grand Jury, when the Cour, interposed,
Court-JohE Smith, are you GC;ropd Jnror
John Smilh-I don't kruw. sir lam a ),
Tef,'
d Court--'From what township"
0 John Smth-'Moon -