The Woodstock age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1844-1845, 1844-11-21
NEW ORLEANS GUESSING INSTI-
TUTE.
Mnemotccchny Ecipsed-Mep England
dbcnd-" pl,ofessorSn yo,pbere

himself recently all alone, unknown, and
"hard up" in New Orleans. OF course
he soon set about guessing some way to
get out of the scrnpc; and, before he had
quite whitfield his stick away, he became
absorbed in the inception Of grand
thought. 1t seems, sitting down to guess
his asluc brain made a plunge, at once,
among the metaphysical and scientific
qualifications of guessing; and, not long
after, he might have been observed, with
sober sort of twinkle in his eve, march
ing off along the "Levee" apparently
looking for house to let, humning-
Yankee Doodlel come along!
When fortune falls distressing,
There's nothing like Yankee song,
And Scientific guessing
Early reyt day, our hero and another
odd-looking genius were seen on ladder,
mailing up broad strip Of canvass all a
cross the font ola house on the Levec;
and the job being completed, there was
displayed, in haring, sprawliug, strug-
Cling, broken-backed ,decapitated, knock
knecd, round-shoudered, bow-legged,
limping letters, Roman, German, He
brew, Caligraphic, Chirographic, Ara
bian, Armenian, Pot-hookian:
NU ORLEENS GESSING INSTI-
FOOT.
GEsslNG TAUT IN ONE LESSEN.
Only 90 fire cents,
The thing produced a sensation at once
among sailors, pedlers, Levee laborers,
and all sort of stragglers. Our professor
borrowed an old rotten awning, hung it
up, and divided his rooms into two, pur
his assistant at the door to take in quar-
lcrs, turned his tin cup inside down on
the middle of an old rickety table, got a
vial of vinegar, pot of tar, a bottle Of
whiskey. and various other we'll known
odorilcrous affairs arranged around him
and, with black skull cap on his head,
and red stick in his hand, he made TO
bad "splurge" at the representation ola
modern Faust Madame Ludwig, miiht
have taken lesson from him, (''you
understand me now;") and Herr Alex
andcr should have seen him. He drew
majestic ring on the ceiling, with char
coal, filling it up with the most indiscreb-
able "curlccucs, right over the table,
and the business soon commenced.
In struggled an opon-mouthcd Inquirer
after the mysteries Of guessing
"s'tranger, good morning; walk up and
prescribe Yourself as true enquirer af-
ter the irrcvelations of Gesscology, Put
your left hand upon the converted tin
cup. Very well Lift your right hand
to the ceiling, and fix your eyes upon the
magic circle, So. Now, ifyou wink or
remove your eye, you'll ruin the hui husi-
ness, slrangcr;-so, Just hold still. Now
! prcccdc to pcrvokc the guessing spirit
to descend upon YOU. What is that | hole!
under your nosei"
"Nincgar."
"Crimini iingol you larn FAST what's
this;"
"T'hnt's tar"
"Right again, my pupil; what's this"
birthstone"
Good; You dcvelopo the faculty raalv
amazing, Can yon guess what this is: :"
"WhiNkoy, by thunder"
"All creation, how quick You take ,arc
you sure it's whiskcy;'
"Surc; well, reckon"
"You'd better taste it and sec. Is it
whiskcyi'
"Well, it is"
"Takc good swig, then; you'll do
stranger; you're ready to eradicate. -
Come in, next Halo! mister, don't take
that bottle away"
One after another, as fast as he could
dispose Of them. the Professor found his
customers sidelng half shylv in upon him
all day long, and when now, and then
one would exhibit belligcrcnt spirit be-
tween good hnmor ard whiskey, the New
England Magician still managed to send
him off satisfied Evcrv BODY coming
out was questioned by the eager crowd
in waiting as to "what sort of show
it was, any how" and the answer was
pretty generally the same" First rate,
and no mistake, and the last experiment
is worth halrthe money!"
The Professor counted his receipts that
night finding round sum to help him on
West; sold his "insIitoot" for n pre-
MUM to his enterprising assistant and
the next morning he was Of, iingling the
silver in his pocket and blessing dcvout-
" the benefits of scieprc'-N O. Pic.