The Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1834-184?, 1844-08-15
COUSIN SALLY BILLIARD.
By HAMILTON C. JoNE

Worsnlps, n you gentlemen OF the
ury, since il has been my fortune (good OF
BAD will not say TO exercise myself in le-
gal dispositions. it has never behre befaElen
ne to be obliged 10 prosecute SO direful,
and malicious an ASSAULT more1
wilful, violent, dangerous battery, and final
" a more diabolical breach of the peace has
seldom been your duly to pass upon, one
so shocking 10 benevolent feelings, as Ibis
which look place over at Captain Riee's in
this county. But you willhear from the wit.
nesses." : 2
The Witnesses being sworn, two or three.
were examined, and deposed-one said that
he had heard the noise and did not see the.
fight-another that he saw the row, but didn't
know who struck FIRST land a third, that he
was very drunk and couldn't say much about
The sklrmmage-
Lawyer Chops.-I am very sorry gentle
men, TO have occupied your time with the
stupidity of the Witnesses examined. Itari-'
SEES, gentlemen, altogether from ~misappre-
hension on my part. Had known. as | now
do, that | had a witness in attendance, WHO
was well acquainted with all the cirdamstm-
ces ofthe ease, and who was able TO make
himself clearly understood by the ceur and,
jury, | should not so long have trespassed on
your time and patience. Come forward, Mr.
Harris, and be sworn.
So forward came the witness, a fat, chuffy,
looking maj, "a leeAe' coined, and took his
aorporeal oath with an air.
Chops.-Harris, We wish you 10 tell about
the riot that happened the other day at Capt.
Rice's, and as a good deal oftime has been.
already wasted in decentralization, we wish
you TO be compendious, and at the same time
as explicit as possible.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS the lawyer a
knowing wink, and al the same time clear
ing his throat-Captain Rice, be gin a treat,
and cousin Sally billiard, she came over 10
our house and axed me ifmy wife she MOUNT
go. | told cousin Sally billiard that nay wife
was poorly, being as how she had afouch of
the rhermatics in the bip, andthe big swamp
was in the-road, and the big swamp was up,
for there had been a heap of rain ately, but
~howsomeyer, as twas she, cousin Sally Dill
lard, my wife she mout 60. Well, cousin
Sally billiard then asked me if Nose be
moutn't GO. Itold cousin Sally Dalard tkaI
nc NhAo titC lOtOtAlaA VI AlO NAODs 0ilQ lfiC
crop was snartly in The grass but howsomev-
Ell, as i; was she, cousin Sally billiard, Nose,
he must go.
Chops.--ln the name of common sense,
Mr.. Harris, what do you mean by this
rigmarole?-Do say what you know about
The riot.
Niness.-Captain Rice,he gin tteai,and
cousin Sally Dillard.she came over to our
house, and axed me ifmy vile she moufn't
go. Told cousin Sally Dillard-
C~hops:--siop. sir, ifyou please we don'i.
wantto hear anything about cousin SallyDl-.
lard andyour w~ife--tell us aboutfhe fght al
Rice's.
Wiiness-WelL,I will,sir,if you will let me.
Chops.-Weh, SIR, go on.
Witness.-Well, Capt. Rice be gin a treat,
and cousin Sally Dillard. she came over 10
our house and axed me if my wife she
MOUNT GO
Chops-there it is again; vitness witness,
please to stop.
Chops.-We want 10 know abo1tthe fight
and you must not proceed in this impairment
story. Do you Know anything about the mat
ter before the CourtH
Wilness.=To be. sure / do.
Chops-Well, you go on and tell it; and
nothing else.
.Wtness.-Well, Captain Rice he gin a
ltreat- 5~ssf -
Cheps-This isiH;elerable. May il please
the court, / move 10 have this witness com
miited for a contempt; he seems 10 be trifing
with this court.
Co1r.@Wimess, you are now before a
Court Of Justice, and unless you behave
yourself in a more becoming manner, you
will be sent 10 Jail; so begin and tell what
fyou know about the fight at Captain Ri
Ices. -
Witness falsrmed9-NelI gentlemen.
Captain Rice he gin a treat, and cousinSalls
Dillard-
Chops-Lhope Ibis witness may be order
edsinfo- custody
Court.RAiter deliberating)--Mr. Attot
lnsy, the Court is Of opinion that vel may save
time by letting the witness 10 go on in bis
own way. Proceed, MIR. Harris, with youl
sto4y, but stick 10 the point.
WitHess.--Yes, gentlemen; we'll, Captain
Rice he gins treat, and cousin Sally DHlaro
she come over to our house and axed mel
my wife she moutn't co. aItold cousin Sal
ly billiard thaf,mywife she was poorly, bein!
] as how she had the rheamatics in the hip,an'
the big swamp was upi but h~owsomever, a
it was she, cousin Sally billiard, my wife sh
mout go. Well, cousin Sally billiard the
4 asked me if Nose he mount co.. | ttol
cousin Sally billiard as how Nose, be wa
the foreman of the crop, and the crop wa
smarfiy in the grass, but howsomever. as
Il runr che cnnsin Snliu R1lnrd Mnsn hnrnnn,