Rutland herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1823-1847, 1844-05-16
An Alarming Dose.
BY r. HOOD.

BYT HOOD.
ELLEN, you have been out
well know have
TO the Kings head
mo, John, no. But no matter You'll be
troubled no more with my drinking
what do you mean2
mean what say, John, replied the wife
looking very serious, and speaking very solemn
ly and deliberately, withh strong emphasis on ev-
morc-wlth -my-drinking- HAVE TOOK IT
AT LAST
Il knew it 7 exclaimed the wreched husband,
desperately tossing his arms aloft, as when all is
lost. Il knew it and leaving one coat flap in
the hands of his wife, who vainly attempted 10 de-
tam him, he rushed from the room--sprang down
the stairs, both flights, by two and three stairs at
a tlme--ran along the passages, and without his
hat, or gloves or stick dashed out the street door
sweeping from the step two ragged little girls, a
| quartern loaf, basin of reacle, and baby But
he never stopped to ask if the children were hurt
I or even TO see whether the infant dripped with
gore or molasses Away he ran, like rabid
dog, straight forward, down the Borough, heed
less alike Of a porter's load bakers basket, and
butchers tray
Il say muttered the errand boy,ashe staggered
from the collision
DO that again growled the plaoard man, 90 he
recovered the pole and board which had beer
knocked from his shoulder
Mind where you are going bawlcd hawkcr
as he picked up his scattered wares whilst dan
dy suddenly thrust into the kennel, launched af
ter the runner one of these verbal missile which
are said to return, like tho boomerang, to thos
who launch them.
But on, on on, scampered the TeetAaller, heed
less of all apprehension he secured like h
Camilla to the shop, number 240, with the red
blue, and green bottles in the window--the chem
lists and druggists: into which he darted and u
TO the little bald man at the desk, with barrel
breath enough left to gasp out My Wife, 'Po
sonp and 'Pumpr
Vegetable or mineral p inquired the Sugeo
Apolhecary with professional GOODNESS
'Both--all sorts--laudanum- --oxali
acid-corrosve snbmty and the Teetotaler wa
about to add pineapple rum, amongst the poison
when the Doctor stopped him.
is he sick p
mo- But remembering the symptoms owe
> night the Teetotaler venlured to say, on tn
strength of his dream, that she was turning a
manner of colors, like rainbow, and swelling q
, big as house.
. Then there is not moment to lose' said tn
r Esculapius, and accordingly clapping on his ha
Q and arming himself with the necessary apparatu
: a sort of elphantine syringe with very lon
E trunk-he set off at trot, guided by the Teetota
Ter, to unpoison the rash and Inflated bacchanalia
g Mrs. Burrage.
1 sand did he save herF
J. My dear madam, be content, to let that issue r.
4 main little, and accumulate interest like SUI
+ in the savings bank
3 Now,when the Teetotaller, with the medical ma
S at his heels, arrived at his his own house, Mr.
d Burrage was still in her bedroom, which was
great convenience for before she could accoul
l. for the intrusion OF a stranger, nav even withot
q knowing how it was done she found herself sea
a ed-more jealousy tenderly ceremoniously-i
n the easy chair; and when she attempted 10 expo
j. tulate. she felt herself choakng with a tube
IT something which was certainly neither ma
If caroni, nor stick liquorice, nor yet ppe-peppe
/. mint
II To account for this precipitancy, the exagerat'
representation of her husband must be borne
x mind and if his wife did not exhibit all the
d ing dolphin-like colors that he had described
IT she was not so blue, green yellow, or black,
he had painted her, the apohecary made sure 81
N would soon be, and consequently went to wol
l. without delay, where delays were so dangerous
q Mrs Burrage, however, was not woman
le submit quietly 10 a dsagreeable operation agar
her own consent; so with vigorous KICK, ana
% push at the same time she contrlved TO rid hers
n at once Of the doctor and his instrument and indi
Ie nanlly demanded 10 know the meaning OF the q
SAUL upon her.
It's to save your lif-your precious life Elol
= said the Teetotaller very solemnly.
T. It's to empty the stomach. maam,' said the dc
OF tor
Empty fiddle, re,orted Mrs B. who won
re have added stick, but the doctor watching his
Of por,unty, had dexterously popped the tube TO
of open mouth--not without fresh scufile from I
is patient
&c. For mercys sake, Ellen continued, the II
I'd totaller, combining her hand, do, do pray DO
n quiet"
II 1Pob-wob--wobble,' said Ellen, Hub
rs bub--butble,' attempting to speak with anOlE