Iowa territorial gazette and advertiser. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa Territory [Iowa]) 1840-1846, 1844-04-27

<.eaf vWhig Meeting In the Dismal
Pursuant to public notice, treihen-
a.us. siupendous, and overwhelming mass
,,arsing Of quadrupeds convened at Drum
~ Pond, in the Great Dismal Swamp,
: he lst Of April, 1874, at which s'that
s.ne old COON presided; and Bull Baffa-
: ESQ.,, was appointed secretary. The
.eetine having been duly organized; Gen.
81 Opossum rose, amidst burst Of APP
,a.upe that blew down several cypress
Is. ard delivered speech which was
e,ken down in short hand expressly for the
Clcbe, by one Of our subscribers, who
rvrs Il the Great Bridge. and sent 70 us
h foot erpress. No other paper has any
- q the speech.
4reilow- CITIZENS! A great crisis has
arrived. (Applanse.) The time Is come
IA We, who have been hitherto depria
red Of our ancient and inalienable rights,
.u.der pretence Of being Irrational animals,
Incapable of self-government, are impera-
tiysiy cllled upon TO make one great effort
: reclaim our original standing among
those exclusive prctenders TO the posses
10 4 reason. LOAD applause. Eel
Isw-ci.izens, whoever among you has
hr.rd Of lEsop's Fables cannot be ignorant
thst Ill the quadrupeds were formerly not
enlv possessed of reason, bu; likewise the
III Of speech. (cheers;) and that they still
rrtain both is undeniable, although it must
h confessed they speak language too
learned and sbstruse to be comprehended
by he ignorant and unlettered. (Hear |!
hear,l Fellow-citizens, we have been
greatly oppressed by the two-legged race
of animals; and, as before stated, the
sericds for asserting our equality, not to
szy our superiority, is at length COME
Every dog has his day [ Bew. wow! wow
hcsr.) | say every dog has his day, and so
has every cat, (me<', new, hear. and so
has every coon, weasel, COW, bear, horse,
iackass, rat, mouse. bull-frog, and alligator. ,
(Long. loud, and reiterated bursts Of ap-
plzase from all quarters, which drowned
the voice of the speaker, who paused a
while, overcome by the intensity of hrs
feelings; then, bowling low TO the audience,
pro,eeie J
@Fellow-citizens, this is an age Of revi-
val, progress, and development. The Pc
nod is At hand, Tremendous cheering.
NJ, The period has Afnved, when we are
saokso make one great effort to resume
sU original rights, and our aboriginal
weight in the scale of rational beings
Fo. fellow-citizens. prophet has arisen
= the slashes of Hanover, (sfupe do,.s
eAkng among the frogs and not only
peaches. but practises, the true doctrines
4 equalitys and who IS determined to free
ssfrom our yokes, Glowing alnortg the or
sn. chains, and all those absurd and or
Fessive restrictions imposed upon us BY
hat proud overbeahng animal who has the
insolencc to assert that t~o legs are better
than four, yet, at the same time, acknowl-
edges our superiority by initiating us in
his whiskers. (Gfeat laughter among the
buffaloes., Animated by the most exalt-
I'd feeling of universal philanthropy, this
distinguished individual has resolved in
ms boundless mind that we-yes. WE shall
yes, fellow-citizens, SHALL be reinsta-
ed in our ancient inalienabIe right of per-
fect equality with these two-Iceged usnrp-
ers. Pr digious appInase.) Yes, fell
lcw-eitzens, the OK shall no longer wear
the yoke; (sreaf beiloring among The zen; J
the hesse shall be as free as those which
erewhile scanpered unmolested over the
prairieS of the West; (gveaf neighing
ss~s lie horses;) the sheep shall wear
ms own wool; (ba-a-a-hea y the dog
shall be his own master; (bow! wow!
wow'-hear, hear;) the bear shall no long,
es i've by sucking his paws in the winter;
lgTc<f dane ne an,ong The bears;) the bufid-
!oes cease to be hunted on those plains
which were theirs from time in,rnemorial;
tgreat buffalo danoe;) the cpossum-to
which class have the honor to belong
shall no longer carry their young in their
pouches, but have nurses to bear them in
their arms wherever they 60; there The
p ssums ran " the gum free ~ fine yle,
and Gu i rers rays 50 and, fellow citizens,
hzt large and respectable class of animals
which may be said 10 be neither fish, flesh,
nor fowl, (most especially the respectable
bull-frogs,) shall be freed from the perse-
cutions Of little dirty-faced boys, when
they pop their heads out Of the slashes;
(dapendo1 roakings f the + ogs, in rhich
so~s q the { ads joined; nay, iellow-citi-
1ens, the coons-ay, the very coons-those
hitherto despised. contemplate, worthless
animals, without strength, courage, OF
honesty-(her. the speakee ras callellt tr-
deS By tie chairman, aAlaf same old coon" J
! say, fellow-citizens, those hitherto
hlthy, disgusting, and worthless animals
called coons'-
Here the chairman rose in great agita=
non, and said, "Really, General Opos-
sum- l cannot sit quiet and hear my con-
a,tuenas (shat respectable class of animals
winch has lately been selected as most
worthy Of associating with the great uni-
versal wing party abused in this shame
'oi manner. You must sit down, or keep
c'yll tongue IN your head.''
"hear me out, hear me out, Mr.. Chair
man." replied General Opossum. s"I am
paying you great compliment, if you did
oat know It. 1 say, felIow-citizens, those
m'evIng, midnight plunderers. those dirty,
m-begOtten, ill-conditioned, base, coward
y, M-natured, and contemplate animals.
re about-about, did l say9-have already
eeen elevated to an equality-equality, did
iays--so . superiority over the boasted
inclusive possessors Of reason. NV being