The Cadiz sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 184?-1851, 1844-12-04

talism of our humanity, 10 desire defeat for this
very purpose? Whist a triumph ever selfishness,
TO be able to say: ''Twas | that made 'em crow
but for my imperfect running, they would now
have been in tears i
Stentor Stubs, however, in the first lushes
OF his disappointment, carried on the war differ
emily, from not generalizing enough. When the
result was ascertained, Stentor Stubs hammer
ed his hat upon his brow, as if, unlike Patrick
Henry, he was determined never again to show
it were proposed that his hat should be from this
time forth, installed as a fxture--Stubbs and his
hat, 'one and indivisible.' Stubs buttened his
coat clear up TO his chin, with an air that told
palmer than words could speak, that his chart
ties were hereafter TO remain at home, and that
all popular avenues to his heart were closed, now
and forever, with "No Admittance," chalked
over the door--"N No Admittance, except on bu-
~siness," to the bosom of Stentor Stubs. He
took his defeat, as the inexperienced ale apt to
take such things-As a personal matter. Not
being used to it, he felt affronted. He thought
that he had been made game Of. To be game
of your own accord, is all honor; but to imagine
that other folks are making game of you, is
productive of an unpleasant sensation, when you
are not exactly used to it.
Don't go Stubbs,' said a brother politician, as
he pulled his segar; wait for the full returns. |
want to knew how much you're defeated; cause
| made a bet that you couldn't come it. Then,
there's the rest of the ticket
The (uries take the rest of the ticket eiacu-
lated Stubs, as he pushed through the crowd
and strobe Indignantly along; 'nl smash a chair
over the table-Pl jam my stick right through
the window-I1l dance on the top of the tea
things. Not elected Don't let any body ever
try to speak to me again, if they don't want to
ketch it. But if they have any thing to say.
now's the time. There's the watchman-what
does he mean by brawling so, as if the whole
town didn't know what O'Clock it is? I've a
great mind to--yes; if he wasn't so big, | would
and if | do come across a little one, III shake
Charley all to pieces, this very night. I'll com
rAit ustifiable homicide
fla Hal laughed Stubs Historically, 't
Mrs. Stubs is up yet, she's got to hear Of it. III
give her bit of my mind. Why did she let me
take a nomination? She told me not, | know,
but | do believe she told me SO only to make me
take ito aggravate me into taking It. If she
had advised me to take it, she knows ] wouldn't;
nothing but contrariness in these women. Its
all her fault--it's always her fault-somebody
else is continually getting me into a scrape.'
'And Them added Stubbs, s~avagely, 'wher
Eve done correcting the old woman, there.
got to be a spankade. III rouse out every one
of the children. I'll spank 'em till Pm tired, anc
do a fathers duty by them. They've been ne
elected the whole of this campaign, and I'll be.
gin to be %paternal, right off the reel
'Well,' continued Stubs, in a softened tone
there's always a comfort for married folks
There's somebody at home that you can blow up
when you've a mind to, and they can't help
themselves. Strangers WON'T take it when you
feel sassy; but it is the boundeu duty Of Mrs
Stnbbs to listen and not to throw things at me
Every body isn't liable to slappage; but it it's
never lost on the little Stubbs-if it isl't due
now they can take it on account. All, domeg
tic felicity is one of the greatest things that eveI
was found out, especially when you're not olec.
ted. Home, sweet home --one can have a row a
home, and it's nobody's business but your own.
There's one thing certain, at any rate said
Stubs on the following morning, as he pokeG
the newspapers with their election returns, into
the stove; 1--WE done with politics. | don't like
being called kangaroo, and cannibaI, and al
sorts of hard names. I've been p~eppered quite
enough for one while i'll that way, And another
thing-l'm tired of forking out for other peoples
amusement. When a mans 'on the ticket as
they call it, he. is pro bono publico--tho public
bone every thing he's got. Money--oh, yes
money for professions, money for flags, money
for meetings, money for dockyments, money fo
newsPapers--money money all the time. Blu
that's not enough, if you're ION the ticket you
must work like a horse besides--run round the
town, und scamper over the country---get NJ
early, and go to bed late, and never get no din
ner--have 10 keep cold potatoes in your pocket
and eat EN- as you go. Ketch one bad cold atop
of the other bad cold, till you're as hoarse as the
man with an oystercart, Of a rainy night. And
then, when you feel bad yourself about it, you
mustn't let on that you feel bad, but tell whop
pers to keep up their spirits. And at last, when
your pockets are empty; when you're as lean at
a greyhound, and croak like a r~aven--when YOU
business is gone to rack and ruin, why then
you're not elected, and are set down as used up
That's the finish.
'Pve had a talk with Mrs. Stubs about it,
we've made up--and now I am going to cleo
myself to the Office of minding my own affairs,
and looking after my own shop. Me and Mrs
Stubs are the United States, and | am TO be
President thereof. The children are TO be the
people,---they are the Uor popuIi, and are to bur.
rah and vote for me at every election. Our can
die light procession shall be up and down stairs
well have a town meeting every day at dinner
and find our own loaves and fishes. Pom my
word, now that me and Mrs. Stubs have con.
cluded not to have hard words any moro, if
don't begin to think that 10 be beaten in an cleo
ton, is sometimes just about the best thing that
could happen TO a fellow. 1t sort of settles him
down--putS notions out OF his h~ead--makes him
sleep without dreaming, and sends him about his
business. | feel all the better of it already
And the little Stubbses shall have a cent apiece
all round, this very afternoon