The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1844-05-17

water from your hand, and feed him; this
tends 10 make him like you, removes fear,
and restores confidence. Cultirat0r.
a Good sisry.
Old Colonel W, formerly a well
known character in one of our eastern ci-
ties, was remarkable for but one passion
out of the ordinary range of humanity,
and that was for buying at auction any
little lot of irumpery which came under
the head of miscellaneous for the rea-
son that it couldn't be classified. Though
close-dsed in general, he was continually
throwing away his money by lives and
tens upon such uash. In this way he
had filed all the odd corners in his dwell
ing and out-houses with collection Of
nondescript articles, that would have puz-
zled philosopher 10 tell what they were
made for, or to what use they could ever
be put. This, however, was u seconda-
ry consideration with the Colonel; for he
seldom troubled his head about such arti.
cles after they were fairly housed. Not
so with his wife, however, who was con.
tinually demonstrating against these pur-
cliases, which served only to clutter up
the house, and as food for the mirih of the
domestic. But the Colonel, though he
often submitted to these remonsirances Of
his belter-hall, could ntresist HE passion !;
and SO he went on adding from week to
week TO his heap Of miscellanes. One
day while sauntering down the street, he
heard the full, rich tones Of his friend
c., the well known auclioneer, and as
matter of course, stepped in to see what
was being sold. On the floor he obseyv-
ed a collection that looked as if it might
have been puiloined from the garnet of
some museum, and around which mot
ley group were collected; while on the
counter stood the porlly auctioneer, in the
very height of a mock-indignant remon-
STRANGE with his audience. Nine dollars
and ninety cenisr cried the auc:ioneer.
Gentlemen, j, is a shame, it is barbarous
10 stand by and permit such a sacrifice Of
property! Nine dollars and ninety
Good marning, Colonel A magnificent
lot ol-of-autiques-and all going for
nine dollars aud ninety cents. Gentle
men. you'll never see another such lot ;
and all going-going-for nine dollars
and ninety cents. Colonel W, can
you permit such sacrifice! The Colo
mel glanced his eye over the lot, and then
with nod and wink assured him he
could not. The next instan, the hammer
came down, and the purchase was The
Colonel's at ten dollars. AS the articles
were to be paid for and removed mmedi-
asely, the Colonel los. no time in getting
a cart, and having seen everything pack.
ed up and on their way to his house, he
proceeded 10 his own store, ehuckling
| within himself that now at least he ilat
made bargain at which even his wife
couldn't grumble. In due time lie was
seated q! the dinner table, when lifting hi:
eyes, he observed cloud on his wife.
brow. well, my dear 3 said he, lnqui
ringly. 'Well!' repeated his wife Il, i:
no. well, Mr.. W; am vexeA be
You'd endurance. Yon know c., tn,
auc,ioneer ? 'Cerainly,' replied TIT
Colonel; 'and a very gen,lemanly person
he is too 'Yeu may .hmk So rejoine,
his wife, but don't and I'll tell yol
why. A few days ago gathered togcth
er all the ,rumpery with which you hav,
been clutlering up the house for the las
twelve months, and sent it to him, will
orders to sell the lot Immediately to til,
highes, bidder for cash. He assured MI
! he would Go SO in this week at farthest
and pay over the proceeds to my order
And here I've been congratuating mysel
on two things; first, on having got rid o
most iuolerab!e nuisance and second
! ly, on receiving money enough, therefor
to purchace that new velvet hat yol
promised me SO long ago. And nov
what do you think =! This morning
about an hour ago, the whole load came
back again, without word of expIana
ton |! The Colonel looked blank for
moment, and then proceeded 10 clear VI
che MYSTERY But the good woman was
paclicd only by the promise of a ten dol
lar note besides tina, in the hands OF til,
auc,ioneer; on condition, however. tina
she should never mention IT, OF course
she kept her word!
A clergyman was one day caiechisinl
class of children belonging to his con