The Whig standard. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1843-1844, 1844-01-02
COMMUNICATED

coMMUN1cATED.1
THE FAIR Posr OFFIcE-An Inc;deut.-T an,
not opposed to :" fairs" when they are got up for
a benevolent purpose, for they constitute the
means by which The liberal and kind-hearted are
enabled to relieve the wants of the needy, and at
the same time receive something like an equiva-
lent in the shape of useful or fancy article-but
DO contend that the ladies who conduct them
should be shy how they deal with married men,
particularly those who leave their wives at home.
The following incident is to the purpose, and
give it to the public as caution to nv
yoked" brethren and young ladies who conduct
Fair Post Offices.
A married friend Of mine, Mr.. John Smith,
Ian uncommon name) dropped in at the fair held
by the ladies of the Union Benevolent Society."1
one night last week AS he was saunterine
about, feasting his vision on beautiful articles
among which the ladies held the foremost rank
pretty little girl ran up to him and said .Mr.,
Smith, there is letter in the post Office for you"
Now MIR. Smith was not so green but he knew
what the hint meant, so he walked up to the
Postmlstress, paid postage and received his letter
which read as follows:
: BALTIMORE, December 29th, 1913.
SIR: The circumstances of our last interview.
were such as to demand an explanation from YOU.
nope satisfactory one can be given, otherwise
no further intercourse can be held between YOU
and one who has loved you so long and so de-
votedly."
MIR. Smith chuckled little at this strange
epistle, addressed to one as unpretendng as him
self, took cup Of coffee of the charming young
lady who deals it out with such grace and went
home minus couple of dollars for the benefit
OF the poor" He found his wife in rather an ill
humor, SO, like considerate husband, he said
nothing, but went to bed, hanging his coat as
usual over the back Of chair.
In the morning, at the breakfast table, his wife
who was even more grabbed than on the night
previous, after sundry slamming Of doors and Of
upsetling OF cups and saucers, burst into food
OF tears He took her hand affectionately and
asked her if she was ill If he was astonished
at her conduct, how much more astounded was he
when, with an hysterical effort, she thus broke
out against him:
is it for this, Mr. Smith, that I have devoted
myself for years to your happiness-you friend
IN sorrow your companion in joy? Shame
shame on you--the father of family-a mem
Der OF Christian church oh could not have
believed it !"
Why-Mrs. Smith, what do you mean 2"
cob! yes-pretend ignorance-you hypocrite
but guilt will come to light sooner or later.
Shame
Really, my dear, you surprise me; -
Your duplicity, sir, is exposed. Do YOU
know this letter addressed to Mr. John Smith
and dated Baltimore? Oh, yes-deny it know
you will, but how came it in your pocket Who
IS the author-where is the vile woman that
penned it."
This volley of interrogatories so took Mr..
Smith call aback," that he was at loss how to
reply; he, however, muttered something about
having been at the faIr-sweet things-the poor
post office, postage, &c., &c. Mrs Smith be-
leved as much Of this as she pleased, and she
was one OF those rare kind Of wives who like to
have every thing in their own way. Mr. Smith,
seeing that he could not make her understand.
got into bit of passion HIMSELF said something
about termagants- fools-jea!ous women, and at
ast told her that her conduct was enough to
inve him to desperation, and that he would find
out the lady who wrote the letter and make
owe to her nolens rolens. He then took his hat
slammed the door-went about his business
With heavy heart, and swore that he never
would patronize a fair again. Poor John Smith!
BENEDICT.