Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, W.T. [i.e. Wis.]) 1843-1844, 1844-01-13


ians and the enlargement of the
hurch. Smith in his perplexity how
o satisfy the London churches, sent
,ut party, caught an Indian; and dis
patched him home in the first ship to
London, telling the society, they
night convert one themselves.
The satire reaches its climax when
he actual church is set in direct con-
.radiction to the dictates Of the reIl-
yious sentiment, as in the famous ac-
count Of our Puritan politics in Hudl-
bras.
Our brethren OF New England use
Choice malefactors to cxcuse,
And hang the guiltess in ,heir stead,
Ofwhom the churches have less needs
AS lately j, happened in a town
Where lived a cobler, and but ono,
That out Of dociriuc could not use,
And mend men'slses as well shoes
This precious brother, having slain
In times Of peace, an Indian,
No, out Of malice, but mere zeal,
Because no was an iuhdel
The mighty Fottipotimoy
Sentto OUT elders an envoy,
Complaining loudly Of the breach
or league hold forth b. brother Patch,
Against the articles in force
Bgtweon both churches, his and ours;
For which he crayed the saints TO render
Into his hands, or hang the offender.
But they rnaturely having weighed
They hal no more bat him Of the trade,
man that served them in the double
Capacity to teach and cobble,
Resolved TO spare him; yet to do
The Indian Hogan Mogan too
Impartial Justice, in his siead did
Hang an old weave! that was bed-rid.
In science, the jest at pedentry is
analogous to that in religion which lies
against superstition. A classificatio or
nomenclature used by the scholar only
as a memorandum Of his last lesson in
the laws of nature, and confessedly a
make-shiit, bivouac for a night, and
implying march and conquest to-
morrow, becomes through Incidence a
barrack and a prison, in which the
man sits down immovably and wishes
to detain others The physiologist,
Camper, humorously confesses the of-
feet Of his studies in disocating his or
binary associations. 81 have been en-
ployed," he says, "six months on the
Ceiacea; | understand the osteology OF
the head of all these monsters, and
have made the combination with the
human head so well, that every body
now appears TO me narwhale, porpoise,
or marsouins. Women, the prettiesi
in society, and those whom | find less
comcly, they are all either narwhales
or porpoises TO my es. | CHANGED
the other day to f. IN with an odd IL
lustration of the remark | had heard,
that the laws of disease are as beautiful
as the laws Of health; | was Fastening
to visit an old and honorcd friend,
who, was informed, was in a dying
condition, when met his physician,
who accosted me in great spirits, with
Joy sparkling in his eyes. Sand how
is my friend, the Doctor?" | inquired.
ooh, saw him this morning; it is the
most correct apoplexy | have ever
seen; face and hands livid, breathing
stertorous, all the symptoms perfect;
and he rubbed his hands with delight,
for in the country we cannot find eve
ry day case that agrees with the dag
noSts Of the books. think there is
malice in very triaing story which
goes about, and which should not
take any notice of, did | not suspect it
10 contain some satire upon my broth
crs oftho Natural History Society. Il
is ola boy who was learning his alpha
bet That letter is A. said the teach
er; \, drawled the boy, THAT is b.
said the teacher; b, drawled the boy,
and so on. THAT is W. said the teach,
er, The dewitt exclaimed the hoy,
as that w ?"
An exceedingly pleasant letter is the
following from the New York Cores
pondent of the National lnteligencer.
Oin tNsl - tbnra JaSortbnl ,a,, l,,.,.,,.,