The Whig standard. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1843-1844, 1844-04-08
A DOSE.
FROM HOOPS COMIC MAGAzINl

"Ellen, you have been out"
swell, know have"
"To the Kings Head!'
"No, John, no. But no matter. You'll be
troubled no more with my drinking"
"What do you meant"
II mean what say John,'' replied tie wife,
looking very serious, and speaking very solemnly
and deliberately, with strong emphasis on every
word. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
-wth-my--drinking-I HAVE TOOK IT At
LAST" t aa 3s
II knew it," exclaimed the wretched husband,
desperately tossing his arms aloft, as when all il
lost. I" l knew t!"-and leaving one coat flap
in the hands of his wife, who valnly attempted to
detain him, he rushed from the roon1--sprane
down the stairs, both flights, by two and three
stairs at time--ran along the passage, and with
out his hat, or gloves, or stick, dashed out at the
street door, sweeping from the step two ragged
little girls, quartern loaf, basin of treacle, and
baby. But he never stopped to ask if the chill.
dripped with gore or molaeses. On he ran, like
a rabd dog, straight forward, down the borough,
needless alike of porter's load, bakers basket,
and butchers tray. ot
II say" muttered the errand boy, as he stag
gered from the collision. a3 E@#t
. Do that again." growlcd the placard man, as
he recovered the pole and board which had been
knocked from his shoulder.
/" Mind where you're goin',' bawled hawker,
as he picked up his scattered wares; whilst a
dandy. suddenly thrust into the kennel, launched
after the runner one of those verbal missiles,
which are said to return, like the boomerang, to
those who launch them.
But on, on, scampered the Teetotaller, needless
of all impedments-on he secured, like he Ca
milla, to the shop number 240 with the red, blue,
and green bottles in the window---the chemist
and druggists-into which he darted, and up to
the little bold man at the desk, with barely breath
enough left to gasp out My Wife Poison =
| and Pump"
vegetable or mineral :" inquired the Sur.
geon-A pothecary, with great professional cool
ness
Both--all sorts-laudanum--arsen oxalic
acid-corrosve sublimate"- the Teetotaller
was about to add pineapple rum, amongst the
poisons, when the doctor stopped him.
els she sick Z"
"No." But remembering the symptoms over
night, the Teetotaller ventured to say, on the
strength of his dream, that she was turning all
manner of colors, like a rainbow, and swelling
as big as house.
"Then there is not moment to lose," said
the Esculapius, and accordingly clapping on his
hat, and arming himself with the necessary APP
paratus--a sort of elephantine syringe with
very long trunk-he set off at trot, guided by
the Teetotaller to unpoison the rash and illfated
bacchanalian, Mrs. Burrage.
"And did he save her 2"
My dear madam, be content to let that issue
remain little, and accumulate interest, like
sum in the savings bank" 9a
Now, when the Teetotaller, with the medical
man at his heels, arrived at his own house, Mrs.
Burrage was still in her bedroom, which was a
great convenience. for before she could accoun
for the intrusion of stranger, nay. even withou,
knowing how it was done, she found herself seat
ed-more zealously than tenderly or ceremoni-
ously-in the easy chair; and when she attempt
ed to expos,ulate, she felt herself choking with
tube of something, which was certainly neither
maccaroni, nor sick-liquorice, nor yet pipe-pep-
ermint. tt ~ tta f-
TO account for this precipitancy, the exagger-
ated representations Of her husband must be
borne in mind; and if his wife did not exhibit all
the dying dolphin-like colors that he had describ-
edit she was not quite so blue green, yellow,
or black, as he had painted her, the apothecary
made sure she would soon be, and consequently
went to work without delay, where delays were
SO dangerous.
Mrs. Burrage, however, was not woman 10
submit, quietly, TO disagreeable operation,
against her own consent, so, with vigorous KICK
and push at the same time, she contrived to RIO
herself at once Of the doctor and his instrument.