Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1844-08-08
TaIap.


Das tst1s
Geitia1 lie Hsfl.-A good joke is told
in I'M New York Spirit Of tbe Times OF
nan named johnson. who seemed @ be
q WAC well known throughout the Slate
He once bel ! fellow 10 Albany that y
could throw him over the Hudson. IL
fellow vas foolish enough 70 take q u -
and she sake, $40. was placed 10 the 'O'a-
er,s hand. A Iarge crowd nept d,Nn .
.eethe performance. and The Colpsi YIN
s,est cosnposure seized the NJ oy zoe
nan. q sthe neck and raistane' am :,
pitched him about ten feet igsne i'ssf gu 4.
he wharf. The green IN me %. pun y.
ing and blowing. saying '''oq 70 '0'' Jo1'
.bel.n - f9h..
am be darned II ave- ss'a 1Ono,
son. II only want 10 2 the M p you
and IN throw all d. butt y gel you y
vel all''I. -
1.i.5,s,,.g 70 plsass.vAn Ohio. mer-
Ds1ss s ss.ss,;ses snai he as an elegant
chant ave. q 3 goods ca bandea. tbelsdies
before 5ss Iaaaess .aaInsrriss clerk q
What's hat said sehoOlnasier point
ing 10 the Lder =.
sDadals name,
sNSr L isn't yonr daddyis name, vol
bJ5Ekhead, it's X
I'll be darned If il is lis daddy
name, bowed il il amt. I've seen hin
write il often.
Go to your seat. you booty you, anc
blow your nose.
.Abstnee Of Wad-zcases have been
frequent lately. a gentleman down street
intending TO shave himself for Sunday
adhered bis own face, and shaved bis
wife. She is in fair way toEecover.
A, gentleman going down east seeing
bis pretty maid with bis wifePs bonnet on
kissed her. surprising ii 10 be the real
one.p He discovered bis error through
the. assistance Of his wife.
"A man employed 10 saw a. load Of
wood, sawed off his arms and legs, i'm a
siale Of meRtal abstraction and did not
discover bis error until be lried TO split
them. j.
In unpleasant situation There is a
time in the history Of man, says The Lou
s lsyllle Courier, 10 which be feels "a pref.
" considerable blue way. This is~when
he gets drunk, has all bis money won, bis
horse stolen. bis nose pulled, his eyes
bunged up, and ia walking home several
miles through the mud, loses his hat and
shoes. and alterreachiug bone. gets his
matted hairscombsd with three-legged
stool.
Cutting The London Punch says:-
Henry the Eighth's usual way Of aring
for new vile. was BY chopping The old
ones head off.
Toe. Bads-A LnLdon paper says the
Queen has. reached her 25ih year; but
that in doing So. she stood tiptoe, and
sprained her ankle.
Recipe How TO make pair Of boots
Of muilo,h ath usiTYc0 Of years. Melt Tire . parts
them thorough appliesHtff08al resin Ioso-give
tnrsl and-be careful not 10 wear them.
The ladies Of Philadelphia are so mo-
dest that they will not change their dress
es il there be q lithographic portrait Of a
gentleman ingtheir dressing rooms. with
outfrst turning the faceof the picture 10
tina wall R 5 II
Why are grea, takers like cracked
pitchers Because every thing runs out
Of them.
A New York paper defines /" Home
Protection thus Ia Philadelphia. .
loaded gun in each room of The house.
Hot Hoting.-Joseph v. Mustard is
candidate for Auditor ia Pike connty,
Ohio. Stephen Pepper is bis opponent.
"a C0ntenis1 SoLlier.--In Gibraltar there
was agreat scarciiy Of water. and d gen.
eral complaint Of The want OF il. An Of
6cer said he was very easy about The
Hettot, w uS. uaa uOtuiuS 70 90 fWHQ
water; Il be- gol his tea in the morning,
and punch 1t night, il was all that he
wanted
My son, remember that your charae
ter ought ii shine brighter Than your
boois. Suppose | 6lacfn it then, /
fasher.''
: 9
A house With wife in il is sometimes
warm enough-one with a vile and her
mother, unplsasanlly hot, and one with
two molhers-in law, too hot for mortal
ehdurancs.
Nothing ever stops a woman when her
curiosity Isl once up. especially il she be
curious 10 know something about herself. /
Only hold assecresin your hand. 10 her
and lis Ike 4 bunch az catnin 10 ear |