Iowa territorial gazette and advertiser. [volume] (Burlington, Iowa Territory [Iowa]) 1840-1846, 1844-05-18
A Graphic description of a Baby.

We copy the following from he Knicker-
booker of April. 1t is postscript to letter ad-
dressed to the editor by funny correspondent,
who calls himself ssJulian'' If ouf readers
laugh as much as we did, we pity them:
p. S.-Whoop hurrah! Light upon the
world again Where are you, my fine editor?
say, sir, was an ASIDE you hear?-an ass!
-premature-wise before my time-a brute--a
blockhead! Did talk of dust an ashes? Oh!
sir, lied simultaneously! Every nerve, every
muscle that didn't try to strangle me in that ut
great world-glorious, magnificent world
that can't be beat! Talk Of the stars and better
world, but don't invite me there yet. Make my
regrets, my apology 10 Death, but say that
can't come-"positiye engasement-be very hap
py some other time, but not now" Oh no, this
morning is quite too beautiful to leave, and be-
sides, / would rather stay, if not only to thank
God little longer for this glorious light, this
pure air that can echo back my loudest hurrah!
And then, my boy. But haven't l told you?
Why sir, Pve got boy!-c boy!-ha, ha!
shout it out to vou--A BOY! fourteen pounds,
and the mother great deal better than could be
expected! And say, Mr.. Editor, it's MINE!-
hurrah and halelujah forever! Oh, sir! such
legs and such arms, and such head, and oh!
nv God. he has its mothers lips! l can kiss
them forever! And then, Sir, look at his feet,
his hands, his chin, his eyes, his everything, in
fact-so "prfsctly O. K.!n Give me joy, sir;
no you needn't, either. ! am full now; run
over; and they say that run over a number Of
old women, half killed the mother, pulled the
doctor by the nose, and upset 'pothecary shop
in the corner, and then didn't ring the tea-bell?
Didn't blow the horn? and didn't dance,
shout, laugh and cry altogether? The women
saw they had to tie me up. don't believe that;
but who's going to shut his mouth when he has
live baby? You'should have heard his lungs,
sir, at the first mouthful of fresh air-such a
bust! A little tone in his voice, but not pain
excess of Joy, sir, from too great sensation. The
air-bath was 50 sudden, you know.
Think Of al his beautiful machinery starting
off at once in full motion; all his thousand out
side feelers answering to the touch Of the cool
air; the utter and crash of the air; and that GU
rious continuance, the eye, looking out wonder
ingly and bewildered upon the great world, so
glorious and dazzling to his unworn perceptions;
his network of nerves, his wheels and pulleys,
his air-pumps and valves, his engines and reser-
voirs; and within all, that beautiful fountain,
with its Jets and running streams, dashing and
coursing through the whole length and breadth,
without stint or pause-maklns altogether, sir,
exactly fourteen pounds!
Did ever talk brown to you, sir, or blue, or
any other ofths devils colors? You say have.
Beg your pardon, sir, bit you are mistaken in
the individual. am this day,esir, multiplied
by two. lam duplicate. ! an number enc Of
an indefinite series, and there's my continuation.
And YOU observe, il is not block, nor block
head, nor painting, nor bust, nor a fragment
Of ANYTHING; however beautiful; but .combna-
ton Of all the arts and sciences in one; painting,
sculpture, music, Ihear him cry,l mineralogy,
chemistry, mechanics, (see him kick) geogra-
phy and the use Of the globes, (see him nurse;)
and withal, he is perpetual motion.a time
hiece that will never run down! And who
wound Il up? But words, sir, are but mouth
ing and mockery-
when man is nearly crushed under obliga-
tons. Il i presumed that be is unable to speak;
but he may bend over very carefully, for fear d
falling, nod in small way, and say nothingi
Law hand upon his heart, and look down at an
angle Of forty five degrees, with motion Of the
jips. muttersd poetry, showing the wish and in
abiIitv. Il win Be (weli done) very gracefully
expressive. with my boy in his first integu.
ments, | assume that position, make the small NAL
tered.