The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1844-03-29
SHORT PATENT SERMON, ON DANCING,
BY DOW, JR.

MY dear hearers-I have no doubt but the sub
ject before me might be source of Buncum de-
light to young men afflicted with levity, and girls
ofhypocriical gddness, were to descant upon
it according to their notions of fun, pleasure and
happiness, in this talking sort ofa world. Iwould
not have you to think that am te-otally opposed
10 dancing in every shape-for the very reason that
used to heel and toe it a trhle, ere my legs had
refused to perform the bidding of the will, as is
now the case. But the fact is, / want to cut it
down altogether-T carried the step too far-went
the double shuttle too mightily-but l couldn't
help it. Twas obliged to mind the music and keep
up with my partner, and the way she wouldbalance
up right and left, was significant of something
more than nothing. l soon began to lose health,
flesh, cash and morality; and finally told all the
frivolties oflhe world to go to pot and would go
10 preaching, preach good morals, moderation,
temperance love and particular cautious step in the
scientific practice of dancing. don't like the
looks ofsnch balls as they have lately nor how
they manage matters. Artificial corruptness COW
ers and destroys all that beautiful simplicity
which graces the domestic circle. The girls are
all SO tipivated off with false beauty and flipper-
iiggs that fellow looses his heart before he knows
it; and the plague oft is, he don't know which of
the fair ones has got it-Generally speaking, it's
much better for him if he never finds it OUT for
he should take it into consideration, that every
thing is not gold that gtters-neiher is every
girl an angel, though she gldes through the mazes
of the dance like spirit clothed with the rainbow
and studded with the stars. He may behold his
admired object, on the morrow, in true light Of re-
! ality-perchance emptying wash tub in the gut
ter, with frock turned up behind; her cheeks pale
for want of paint, her hair mussed and mossy, ex-
cept what lies in the bureau; and her whole con-
tour bearing the appearance Of an angel rammed
through bush fence into world of wretchedness
and woe. Now my dear friends supposing young
man does happen to find his snatched up beauty in
such predlcament' say it is glorious recon-
mendation for him, and if he don't like il he must
keep away from such place where loveness is
so patched up for the occasion, and where devil
and seraph are only one and the same thing
Every ball nowadays, is masquerade, their at
tendants are as false they appear to be fair and
when daylight comes to unmask them they can
boast of no great attractions, either inside or out
They are too fond of blowing it out till daylight
appear, instead of hanging up their iddles at elev-
en- o'clock, and winding off with "Lord dismiss us
with blessing as was the case in the good old
days ofyore. Dancing has been gathering thick
coat of corruption for long time. The primitive
Shaker jigs is the only pure pigeon wing, to my
notion, though ] never went that figure. The
old down outside and back is the next natural and
siraple form of leg worship; the Jim Crow jump is
falling off from either; and the fashionable capers
cut at the present day, are all stupid nonsense
What meaning is there in what they call cotl-
lion' Its all fu of suchhog latin as dose-a-dose,
lemonade all pussay! alamonde at the corners |!
chase here and dechase here! and SO on and SO
forth
Waltzing is more stupid yet-nobody can do it
really slick unless they have the string-halt in one
leg as horses sometimes have. WhenI see chap
huggins up to girl, performing constant revou-
tions at the rate OF six to minute, cantthep sus-
pectng that he is trying to get round her in very
nonsensical way. O., this watzing is very silly
piece OF business. A puppy whirling round after
his tail makes more respectable appearance than
couple ofour Heavenly Fathers images in the
ludicrous position Of waltzine If dancing must
be done at all, say let il be done decently and in
order--after the manner OF the Times 10 which
came the ajetta to nicely. Let the figure be sim
ple--keep at respectable distance while balancing