The Arkansas banner., 1844-06-12
MISCEL.LANEO EOuS.
From the Monthlu Magaalne.
THE ANON Y NOUS LEI 1 ER.

..Plinth was about to marry his cook -. f: To write an anonymous letter is degrading, to say the least it would require the skill of rsophist to render 1t iusti6able-perhaps; and yet when Colonel Pinth was going to marry his cook -.
 A vixen-a perfect Saraeen of woman behind his back; and he man of nice honor; who had gained golden laurels at Seringapa- tan-an aid-de-camp to Sir David Baird-my friend! The intelligence had come like a l thunder bolt.
 To write an anonymous letter, except un- der the most imperative circumstances, Is tn- occasionally atrocious. I felt that, even l posted as 1 was-with the most benevolent ns-conscience-Hly conscience, as a gentleman and an officer, would hesitate to approve of 1t. paused-l determined to weigh the matter we'll; but the conviction fell upon me like an avalanche that not moment was to be lost!-Colonel Plinth was one the eve of marrying his cook -.
 Rebecca Moggs! And he my brother-i1- law, the widowed husband of my sainted sis ter-a K. c. B.-a wearer of four medals, two crosses, and the order of the golden fleeee-a man who had received the thanks of Parliament-the written appreciation of my Lord Clive-two freedoms in gold boxes: man who, had he nobIy fell on the ramparts of Tippoo's capital, would have been taken home ill rum, and buried in St. Paul's
 His fragment-his living remains-( for he possessed only one organ of a sort-having lost a leg, an arm, and eye, and a nostriE E- had resolved on what considered a sort of demi-post mortem match, with-what?
 blowsy, underhung menial, whose only merit consisted in cooking mulligatawny, and rubbing with a soft, fat palm the wounded ankle of his partially efficient leg; the ille- gitimate offspring of Sepoy pioneers HulI; creature whom my lovely and accomplished sister had taken from the breast of her dead mother, the woman--a eamp-lollower-re- ceived all iron ball in her brain from one of Iippoo's guerilla troops. in the jungle, )-one whom EEadne had brought up with maternal care, in her kitchen;--a scullionl And such a one to be Colonel Plinth's wife--to take the-place of EYadne! Good God
 To write all anonymous letter Is rather re- volting; much may be said against 1t 1t is one2s deraeir resort; still it has its advanta- ges-and why neglect them2 Had Colonel Plmth not been what he was-were he but casual acquaintance or mere friend-then indeed -
 But he was my brother-in-law-my brother in arms-il word, Colonel Plinth.
 Had he been a man who would listen to reason-who was open to conviction-to whom one might venture to speak-why really
 But he was hot as curry yet not def- cient in sense but dreadiully opinionated- techy-easily susceptible of feeling himself insulted-careful as to keeping his pistol-case in such a state as to be ready at a moments notice-a being inllamed in body, soul, and complexion, by the spices aud rum of the burning east.
 To remonstrate with hlm would have been absurd; he would have cut me down with his crutch; he had amassed three thousand a-year.
 To write an anonymous letter was not ex- actly the sort of thing; but wlN see him rush into match which would dishonor himself, and shed a sort of retrospective shame on my sainted sister,
 Tine cook was far from immaculate. A native-servant, whom I had discharged at Calcutta for repeatedly: staying out all night but why expose the weak side of humanity?
 And another young fellow of her acquaint- ance, whom l pardoned for robbing me, on condition of his frankly confessing all his misdemeanors-
 Besides, there was Larry the trumpeter-
 And one or two more.
 Under such umstances-conscious of his infatuation, ceased to wayer: the end sanctifed the means :; and 1 wrote him an anonymous letter.
 She, of course, would make a point of having children-and then where were my expectations
 Evadne had never been mother the Col. was the only Plinth in the universe; and, posited as 1 was-Evadne being the link-I naturally had expectations.
 To say nothing of being nine years my senior, he was wreck-a fiery wreck, full of combustibles, burning gradually to the water's edge
 The sun of his happiness, would, as felt, set forever, the moment he married such a creature as Moggs-innatey vulgar-repul- sive-double- -chinned-tumid-p Social festivity was every thing to Colonel Plinth but who. would dine with him, if his ci-devant cook were to carve ?-Evadne's adopted; Larry the trumpeter's love! couldn't
 Therefore, under a sense of overwhelming duty to Col Plinth, l wrote him an anony- nous letter.
 Every precaution was taken; the hand was disguised-the paper such as I had never used; and, to crown all, l dropped the im- portant document in a distant and out-of-the way post-oAice
 Conscious of perfect secmity-animated by the cause had espoused, played away upon him, from my masked battery with pro- digious vehemenee. Reserve was out of the question; in an anonymous letter, the writer of course, speaks out, this is its advantage l took rapid review of his achievements; :; l recalled the accomplished Eyadne to his minds eye; contrasted her with his present intended Larry the trumpeter figured in it, and the forcble expression as to C3rsar's wife yVos not f,rrotfo, | I I