The Spartan. [volume] (Spartanburg, S.C.) 1843-1852, 1844-07-17
FROM THE NEW YORK SUNDAY MERCURY.
SHORT PATENT SERMON.--By DOW IR
ON RELIGIOUS DISSEMBLING. -

SHORT PATENT SERMON.-py DOW IR.
ON RELIGIOUS DISSEMBLING.
TExr.-In Isngton there was a aman,
OF whom tho world might say,
That still godly race he ran,
Wiener he went to pray.-GoLDsMITH.
My DEAR HEARERs-Islington is not the only
sea port or land town that contains such silver
washed ornaments to the christian religion as the
one mentioned above. We find them wherever
we go-they are around us just as thick as hemp
and grass-hoppers, only we don't always dstin-
guish them from the real Simon Pure; but all we
have to do is, to give them little scratch with
the thumb nail, and then it's easy enough to tell
what stuff they are made of. These fellows get
down on their marrow bones, and make long
prayers just for show off; but they couldn't
pray at all il they hadn't it all cut and dried be-
tore hand. I've seen \, them get boggled before
wanted to vary it, and hadn't the gumption to do
the thing nicely. once knew an old farmer up
in Connecticut, who might be set down as fair
specimen Of the whole batch of these cunning
dogs, who lick the outside of the platter. He u.s.
ed to pray IN his family every morning as regular
" as the tea pot was emptied; but when offering
up his thread-barc petition, one eye was single
to the glory of the Lord, and the other 10
matters nearer home. On one occasion, as he
drew the big arm chair lover which he had been
devouty leaning) to the easement, he cast his
eyes out OF the window, and ere his humble pray
er had arisen higher than the chimney top, ex.
claimed in the fullness ofhis heart: "Therc-there
run, John them id hogs are all in the NOW.
in agn - Here, my hearers, was one of your true
| men Of lslington. "He godly race when
e'er he went to pray; but at any other time his
race consisted in licking the devil round the stump
The coat of religion won't fit these deformed be
ings, any how you can fix it; it wrinkles in the
| bank-cuts under the arms-sits awkwardly anc
won't bear wetting. If I had my way, I'd strir
every rag of hypocrisy from their backs, and leave
k1lslmng on them but the mere shirt of honesty
ssich the Lord knows would be thin covering
Their. show Of piety is only to help them along
smoothly through this world. 1t makes them ap
pear upright inst and equitable; but do posi-
lively assert, that the man who thus counterfeit
religion for the sake of the world, would not hesi
tate to steal a sleeps head and pluck from a pau
per's hovcl. They will offer their spurious col,
at the gate of Heaven, but it will be no go--can'
go in with that shilling AS my venerable father
who is now numbered with the dead, once observ
ed--they burn out their candles in the service o
the devil, and then throw the wick in the Al
mighty's face.
| Dearly beloved bretren--don't for the sake O
common honesty, profess any more than you pos
sess! take pattern after me be frank-be hon
est--lpeas .your, minds on all qseasops7-tell tb
who was refused admission into tie GRaafcn; az
served credit for his sincerity, when he said j
| made no dlncfence TO him, Tor he could go and en-
list into the troop. 1t has been said that an homes
man is the noblest work Of God some say pret
ty woman is. Be that as it may, I believe my con
gregaton is pretty nearly of the right stamp
though little is yet lacking. 1 came among you Il
preach without script, and an empty purse. Jus
fork over few copPers more, and then if l don
ladle you out mess Of good pottage, it will b.
because your dishes are all bottom upwards
have fondness for you ell /; and deep affec
ton for the souls of those young ladies in that bac
scat yonder. have too frequently noticed tn
smiles Of levity upon their countenances thei
eyes are oitener turned to the young men at thei
right, than upon me. cannot see these buds G
purity contaminated: their immortal parts are to
beautiful and tender to be exposed to the chi
winds of the world have hopes for them yc
You, young gentlemen, who are now leaving tn
Aowerv lawns Of youth, to enter the green bower
OF manhood--I warn you never to dissemble: lif
with you is now a reality, and death will becom
so, sooner or later. Avoid hypocrisy---shun vic
Court virtue-end let the man of Islington 90
| Halifax. You, old men--who are scattering whit
hairs upon the grave--whose feet totter--whos
eyes grow dim--bear with me fora short time lor
ger, while prepare for you downy bed, so ths
: you may lie down and rest in everlasting peace
So mote it be