Bloomington herald. [volume] (Bloomington, I. T. [Iowa]) 1840-1849, 1844-08-30

often betray people into ulering the most
ridiculous absurdi,ies quite unintenlional-
ly. great man, addressing the house of
lords. said, l, is my most painful duty to
inform lordships that it has pleased the
Almighty to release the king from his suf.
fermgs.' This was equivalent 10 saying
that he was sorry the kings suf1erings
were over. maid of honor in France
being asked the hour by her royal mis-
tress, obsequiously replied. What your
majesty pleases; an answer even less
ldeinle than that of the cowboy who, az
Ter looking up at the town clock. said j.
was only half an inch pas, eight A
nurse, wishing TO give very polite an
swer 10 gentleman who inquired after
the hsaI,h Of a sick baby entrusted to her
care, said. Oh, sir, fauer myself the
child Is going 10 die nobleman told
visitor he had been talking to him in a
dream Pardon me! replied the other,
really did not hear you A lady of
rank, having had the professional services
of atvilage piper at li,:e fele which she
had given on her estate. received the fol-
loving ridculously civil note from him
Your ladysilip's pardon for my boldness
in ,aus applying for payment, would be
almost sufficient compensation for the
labor of your humble piper, Patrick
| Walsh Lord Clarendon, in his essay on
The decay Of respec. paid to old age says.
that in younger days, he never kept his
| ha, on before those older than himself,
except AT dinner In the present day, the
wearing of il a, dinner would be thought
more dlsrespeclful than any other time
George w., when prince of Wales used
TO return The bows of all persons in the
streets excep, beggars. He justified this
omission by remar!:ing, that to return a
beggar's bow wilhou. giving him any
thing would be mockery, and TO stop
for the purpose of bestowng a sixpence
would seem osientation in a prince. Sir
Robert Graham being apprised that he
had, by mistake, pronounced sentence of
transportation OF a criminal who had been
| found guilty. of capital offence, desired
the man TO be again placed In the dock,
and hastily putting on the black cap, he
t said - Prisoner a, The bar, beg your par
don, and then passed on him the awful
! sentence Of death country carpenter
| having neglected to make a gallows that
! had been ordered 10 be erected by a GER
tain day. the judge himself went TO the
man. and said, Fellow, how came you 10
mcgee, making the gibbel that ordered'
Without intending sarcasm. he replied,
.rm very sorry for had | known it was
for your lordship. 1t shonld have been
done immediately While an officer was
bowing, a cannon ball passed over bis
head and decapi,aed soldier who stood
behind him. Yon see, said the officer
to those near bin. lha. man never loses
by polieness. Napo'eon's hat having
fallen off, young lieutenant stepped for
ward, picked it up, and presented it to
him.s Thank you, captain. said the en-
peror inadvertently In what regiment,
sire inquired the sub, quick as light
ming. Napoleon smiled, and forthwith
promoted the witty youth to captaincy.
| Notwithstanding the fury with which the
battle OF Fonlenoy was contested. 1t began
with a erea. show of civlity Lord Cha S
Hav. captain of the English guards. adj
| vance,l before the ranks. and count Fan
,eroche, lieutenant of grenadiers in The
French guards. stepped forward to meet
him. Fire, gentlemen OF the French
cuards y exclaimed the English captain.
No. my lord replied the French leu
tenant: swe never fire first This re-
minds us of an anecdote told of Curran,
who. being called on, to give satisfaction
10 an officer for some imaginary offence.
told his antagonist TO fire FIRST, which he
declined, saving. AS you give the invita-
lion, beg you will open the ball. AT
the ba,le of Trafalgar, generous BRUSH
sailor, seeing brother tar bleeding pro-
fuselv from severe wound, ran to his as
sistance. He had no sooner raised him
from The deck on which he fell. than the
wounded man said. Thank you Jack
and please God, LII do the. same Tor yo'
before the fights over. --Chambers Ed
inburgh Review.
/, Tyr MvsrrE1ous MAsK.-The evening o
the dav on which King Louls, OF Bavaria
, was crowned Emperor, there was splepdi'
Rail a, the town hall, a, which the Empress
was present. Amongst the guests was cav
,,ier dressed lin black, aud having his lac
novared with black mask. He invited ne
10 dapce-she accepted, and whilst 'hey "e'
dancing together, another MASK ~app,oa." .e'
the Emperor and asked him y ne Knew ,;sa WIN ~
: HE w,fe's partner was! No. ieplied ia
smneror. blu, suppose it Is some ioreig
,.,,ncs, Lower than that said the mask
IiSom. noblen,an ,hen-a count or baron
lower than that perhaps knight =
J Lowe, sill An esquire!' Less tina
that "A page!' If that Were all )! a.,
,.o,od tho unknown, with a strange laugh
IA, who is il. ,henl' asked the Emperor