Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1844-03-14
Eartstp.


AN OBSOLETE IpEA
Whist are you 2 said the Recorder yes
strdsy 10 non5esrfipl looking character.
who stood up 10 the dock before him.
lam nothing. laid Bill ButlOn-for
such Was'his name.
You are no,hingr said The Recorder.
no, Isiat. aid Bill Pm a hobselete
idea. guess a. how the yalchmsn took
me 10 Be The wonderful lion. or the Ben
gel tiger. cause be stirred me up With
long pole but amt nobody. aud haint
got no iriends.'
What do you do for lying9 asked
he Recorder.
4 follow nothing and don't live Al alt
replied Bill i; Il exists on The mysterious
principles Of vitality. and am teeloial
Ter from compulsion.
Why. you are quite achsfacier. said
the Recorder.
No, amt character. neither. said
BIll--sI haint got character. no how -
I'D bare no objection to 60 10 rahoot With
decent Teller for . character. bnti hsint
got funds TO purchase on my own &C
count 4
Wei. / shall send you for thirty days
10 the workhouse. said the Recorder. -
Perhaps, when you come out you will
find times easier.
Poor Bill was forthwith walked OF BY
walehman.-Pieayane.
Ikaoic somefhing "A clergyman was
one day cstechising class Of children
belonging 70 his congregation. and COM
log 10 : little boy who was something Of a
rogue, be asked him wbs: be knew.
i know something. replied the urctin.
Well my son what do you know. said
The Pastor.
Eknow where there i birds nest, :
said the boy. but SHAFT teiLyou for tear
you viii STEALTH eggs answered the IN.
sophisticated juvenile.
s, IA fake m.-'Whald do you think OF the,
story Of Jonah and The whale Z
II was q greatstase in.
2 iHaIloo, Stewardl' exclaimed fellow
on the siesmboatsNorfolk. after be had re.
tired to bed, = HsIloo, Steward
What, NASSAU
Bring me The register
What for. NASSAU
Il want 70 see if these bed bugs put
down their names for this berth before. !
Aid-if mol want them removed.
a significant reply. Thomas, said
sponging friend Of The family to the foot
tnsnr who had been lingering about the
room for bali an tofuf 10 show him 20 the
door. my good fellow, its getting late.
isp'tii' How soon will dinner come ufH
The very. riomen; you are gone, sir,
was The unequiyocal reply.
Wtsiern Potities.-Are you a demo
erst. STRIP
No. I'm shoemaker
oh. you don understand me. mean
what par, do you take in Ealilicsi'
Polly Ticks, ! don't know any gal by
,ha, name. reckon she''den't live in
these disgins.
The Editors off,he New York Sunday
Mercury have introduced new way OF
opening oysters. They say by spriakIing
handful Of snuf over pile OF them, in
few moments they will sneeze them.
selves out of their shells.
Cheap Boardiagt-A thousand and one
stories have been told ~Iof he extreme
cheapness OF living 10 the Far West"
but as 10 the way lis occasionally done
vie were never fully aware until the mat.
| ter was explained by Dan Marble.
= You keepboarders here, madam, said
an individual, addressing the landlady Of
houso upon the door ofwhich be saw
cheap boarding painted.
We do was the response.
What do you charge week 2
For boarding Without lolging do you
meant queried the lanefady.
I Yes, madam
Three meals day, sir
Yes. madam.
Fifty cents is cur regular price, sir
Well. reioined the inquirer, that's
cheap enough at all events. DO you give /
your hbarders much Of varietya'
Yes. sir, something OF ysrie,y--we
give them dried apples Tor breakfast,
warm water for dinner, dad let EN- speH
for slbprr
A certain preacher having changed bis
religion, was much blamed BY his friends
for having deserted then. To excuse
himsslf, be said be had ;sepsn reasons
being asked what they were. replied, "a
scife and sir children.
Il would advise you to, put your head
10 dye tub. It's rather red. SAID Joker
TO a sandy haired young lady.
In return. sir | would advise you 10
put your'sia an oven. for it's raihe. Soft
was the promp, aud cutting reply.
IN agus Story. There is place ID
Michigan where Tho fever aud ague Is ten
per cent. below par. We heard It stated.
recently. that poor OK in the, street would !
lean against fence a few minutes to resi-,
and then stand oA aud shake til all was
blue again. !. was also feared that The
wheat crop would be q failure, as they
were shaking of Who will say Mich.
Ran is no great shakes' after this?