Bloomington herald. [volume] (Bloomington, I. T. [Iowa]) 1840-1849, 1844-03-15
SHORT PATENT SERMON.
l shall discourse this day upon the interro'
UatoTy text:

Oh! what am I?-aud what are ye!
My hearers-when l ask myself the ques-
ton What am IL pozzles me how to an
swes it. Materially speaking, am sort Of
increased nonentiy-a small barrel Of the un-
strained oil Of nothing, thckened into SUBJ
stance by acciden tally coming 10 contact with
cold, congea!in world. Chemically speak
ing, am compound of phosphorus, gas and
atmospheric wind most Of Won have,
doubtless, long ago, discovered. Mechanical
ly speaking, am an old clock, made, wound
up, aud set in motion some several years ago,
by The Great Ciockn,aker Of the universe. ]
was made 10 run seventy years, AT hasi and
if Fate and Fortune will only Keep my inner
works in order, shall expect TO keep going
ill my weights have run the full length Of
their cords. Morally speaking. am an equal
mixture Of vice and vir'ne-a kinG Of vinegar
and molasses mess. So nicely are they mix
ed together that the vinegar OF vice IS not SO
sour as TO be unpali'abIe. nor the molasscs OF
virtue SO sweet as to be sickeniDg. My fee
lincs are as tender as young toadstools-my
passions are as strong as decoction of tobac.
co juire-my sympahies are as soft as the
down under an angels wing-and my desire
for The promotion Of human happiness are just
as happen 10 feel about the head heart, and
stomach.
My friends-me.aphorically speaking, am
toy thing Of Time, played with for short
period and then cast among rubbish; foot
ball Of fate, kicked about ill | burst, and am
no longer worthy even of Il kick: windmill
Of excitement, that moves with the popular
breeze, bu! is still in a calm: u correct iher.
momeier, my mercury rising to summer hea,
by the warm rays Of hope, and sinking 10 be-
low zero in the cold atmosphere OF doubt:
mean tal'ow candle, already burnt one,hlrd Of
its way TO the socket and every moment in
danger of being eXtngu;shed by the shutters
of Death an old boot, worn by poor pilgrim
with wooden leg, over the rough road OF cx-
sience. Till it is neither worth heeiing, solng,
patching, nor preserving. In fact, my friends,
don't see tina, am of any more use to the
universe considered as whole) than SHOW.
eltu!l OF pouGrelie tn a ten acre cornleld.-
When am dead and gone, shall be as
thing That never had been; and the children OF
pos.eriiy will probably shoot marbles across
NY grave, as unconscious Of their sacIile-
eious doncs as parcel Of mice gnawing a,
The greasy leaves of an old and favorlic fami-
ly bible.
My worthy tearers--now let me ask. Tor
the sake Of answering the question myself,
What are ycu!' You are no better than
am, made of no better stuff and the devil would
bid no higher for you than for me. on came
from the same place that did--and with ne
you have all finally got TO creep through cold,
dark and narrow hole, which Is the outlet OF
time and the inlet TO eternity. You are all
anxious for an equal supply oil the rich milk
of mammon; but, like double litter of suck
ing pigs TO one sow, you haven't but half
teat apiece; so you are continually roofing one.
another aside-and while you are thus roofing
and contending, some more cunning brother
pig, percl,ance, is 'laying OIL and his belly
full at ease. You are tribe of voracous
fishes. swimming in the turbulent waters OF
the worlds wide ocean, constantly devouring
each o,her--ihose with leaden fins falling easy
prey 10 those thai Tourist, with fins Of gold
You are Il lot Of half-siarved barn. fowls, that
have TO keep scratching the dirt 10 pick up
living, and ever ready 10 run for the crumbs
wheyeve- Luxury happens TO shake her table
cloth. You are multitude of stray sheep, of
all sorts and colors, scattered over every por-
ton of the labitable olobe-some feeding on
wind .shorn mountains, some in rich and fertile
valleys, some on almost barren plains, and not
few caught in the thcke,s Of trouble, TO be
sacrificed on the altar TO despair. Poor mise
rab!e wrclches you may have folds 10 shelter
you from the beating winds and pouring rains,
but no canopy can be spread to protect you
from the beating storms Of time! No yen fam
cy yourselves beautiful flowers of hope and
happiness, and that yon are 10 bloom perennial.
"; but, oh my fiends-a short season or
two. and you will begin to fade! Soon will
old Tempe breathe upon your petals with an
autumnal brea,l,-bring blight upon their
beauty, and scatter them abroad upon an un-
known atmosphere.
Tomorrow, as it were, the bright blossoms
OF being that now adorn the gay garden of hu-
man kind will be withered and mingled with
their ancestral mould, and anew generation of
vegetable carnosilies viii spring up in their
places TO fall. as they have fallen, before the
fatal scythe of Time.
NV beloved friends. and rrail fellow morials!
You know you cannot lastbu little while al
the longest. You know tha, you are manu-
featured Of material as brittle as gllss; and
that the day must come, sooner or later, when
Won will lie, like broken jugs of whiskey. by
the way-side. with the spirit all evaporated,
and the clay left to cong omeratc with its orr
onal clay. Therefore, exercise every pru-
dence aud precau,on TO prolong Lille TO lis far
thest limits, and lay in good store OF salt for
The souls salvation, when it shall have been
com PEELED to forsake its earthly tenement for.
ever. So mote i; be! Dow, JR.
SMALL Pox.-Dr. Cox through the medium
Of the Cincinnati Gazette calls the attention G:
The Medical Profession 10 the suhiec, Of Small
Pox and states, rs the affect of an extensive
experience, which he has had Of lis treatment
in lis various notifications, ,hatit may not on,
ly be abbreviated in the time it has usually Ia
ken tic run its course of Iucipian,. Erup,ise,
Suppurative, and Desquama,ive Fevers, bnl
that the superaaion may be arrested. and all
the. SWELLING of the exiemiiies prevented hy the