The Whig standard. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1843-1844, 1844-04-18
NUMBER u: l4o

house two or three times, lore = udu tH6a
to look at the poor little thing sec if twas ded.
BY this time the gals was holt of.me hollerin
'sApril fool! April fool !" as hard as they could,
and when come to look, had nothin in my
arms but a bundle of rags with little Henry
Clay's clothes on. m tn apsrtls8a .astsssE AssF
4 shuck all over like I had sger. and felta
monstrous sight more like cuss'n than iaaghin.
!" April fool, dignation !" ses r." fun,s'fUn but
Pm dad blamed if there's any fun in sich dons =
and was jest gwine to blow out a little. when !
heard Mary screamin for me to come to her
mother. EEIr 8ff} Itg ItHfI atl3f 4TAsf1 ff1tU
When we got in the dinin room, thar the old
woman was keeed over in her cheer, with her
eyes sot in her head and corn muffin stickin in 4
her mouth. Mary was takin on at terrible rate,
and all she could do was jest to clap her hands
and boiler" Oh, mothers dyn! mothers dyin!
whar's the baby Oh, my poor mother! Oh,
my darlin baby !"
tuck Mary and splained it all to her, and tried
to quiet the poor gall and the gals got at the old
woman but it took all sorts of rubin, and ever
SO much assafedty and campfire and hartshofn
and burnt hens feathers, to bring her too, and
then she wouldn't stay brung too more'n mint
fore she'd keel over agin and do b'lieve if they
hadn't brung little Henry Clay down so she could
see him and feel him and hear him squall, she
never would got her senses agin She amt more'n
half at herself yit. All the CALLS kin do they can't
make her understand the April feol bisiness, and
she won't let no body else but herself nurse the
baby ever sense. .s..
AS soon as had time to think little, was
80 monstrous glad that it warn't no worse, ~
couldn't stay mad with the gals. But tell you J
what was terrible rathy for few minits.
don't believe in this April foolin. Last year the
gals devird me almost to death with their non.
sense, sowin up the legs Of my trowses, borein
holes in the underground. so i wet my shirt all
over when / went to drink, and bendin the hans
die Of the tongs, and cuttin the cowhide bottoms
| of the cheers loose, SO fell through EN- when i
4 went to set down, and all SIGH devilment. know
4 the bible SEES theirs time for all things but L
4 think the least body has to do with fool bsness
4 at any time, the better for 'em. I'm monstrous
i tired Of such doins myself, and if didn't think
the gals had got Their fill Of April foolin this time,
1 I'd try to git almynack next year what didn't
have no first day Of April in it. No more from
j your friend, till deth, Jos. JONES.
1 p. ST. seed in your paper tother day whar
i some of the everlastn eternal John Smiths had
i been castin some insinewations on my wife's
4 character. | red it to Mary, and she's been
poutin bout it ever sense. She ses he's 9 nasty,
mean wretch, to be pesterin himself bout what
1 don't consarn him, and castin sinrs on decent
people, and if she only know'd who ne was, she'd
scaid his 'bominabe ugly eyes out Of him. u
told her it wasn't no use to try to do that for the
Mississippy wouldn t begin to drown all the mean
scamps that go by that name. wish you would
Jest tell your Pittsburg correspondent that we're
dec ent christian white people out here ia GeOr-
gia and he mustn't wonder if he is little smarter
than his people, who I've way up thar in the fork.
whar they swaller more coal smoke in a year
than would bust balloon, and whar they're so
black and dirty, that it would take six months
bleachin to make 'em pass for white folks. J. J. a