The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1844-05-09
BY KITCHENER h MATHEWS.
A Bill of Fare not a Fair hin.

At the dinner table of one of our principal hotels yes
ter1ay-t matters not which, names being uunecesSa-
ray for our pupose-there sat two men, plain in their
apparel and unpretending in their appearance. They
seemed to enjoy with keen relish and healthy ap
petite the good things set out before hem and paid their
court to the wine with freedom that would have done
credit to more experienced bONS viuants
"Great house this David" remarked one of them.
"Reckon it is" said David; 'but find il is plaguey
sight easier to eat their xins than it is to read em in
print"
"Read 'em!" retorted ,Davids friend; "Id scom to
read em didn't come here to read, come here to eat
"But how are to come at the best feedl" said Da-
vid, 'if we can't pick it out2"
,"By DOING" rejoined his friend, "just as we do at
breakdown, when old NeG Morgan, the Fiddler plays
the Boston Beauties-by beginning here at the top
(ponting to the head of the bill of fare,] leading down
the middle, and taking turn at everything as we go
along"
"Good as wheat" said David--let us dig in;"- and
without any further ceremony they commenced opera
tions.
1t need not be told that they did ample justice to the
several dishes of which they partook, besides drinking
deeply of the wine. When they had fully got through
smoked their cigars, talked Of their lucky trip down,
and congratulated themselves on the advantageous pr
ces at which they had disposed of their corn, they in
staggering N-n the expense kind of tone called for
the bill. The waiter thinking they alluded to the bill Of
fare handed them one On the back or on one side Of
every bill of fare there is list of the wines which the
house is prepared to furnish with the price affixed to
each The list of Wines instead of the list of dishes,
happened to present itself to our Western friend and
the waiter noticed that in looking over ii he suddenly
became somewhat nervous.
"Three dollars three, and two dollars and fifty cents
lis five dollars and hall, said he,' aloud, "and
two dollars is dollars and half and three is
is ten dollars and halt and fifty is twelve dollars,
and hefung the bill in passionate manner before him
on hetable saying to the waiter "Look here stranger
thought knew little of cipherin' but its hucke-
berry above my persmmon to calculate that; besides
think its rascay take in to pile it on for all the wine
my friend and drank, in that way But don't care
cuss send the boss here, and if he says I'm to fork
over for all that BILL I'll do it. reckon, however you
needn't trouble to turn down chair for me any more
Ofcourse when go up to Indiana can say dned at
this great hotel Your dinner" he added, still address
sing the waiter, was fus rate Pm ready to sign for
that value received but the way you figure it for the
wine is caution!"
The waiter, who was now for the first time, permit
ted to dsabuse his CUES kis guests informed them that
he did not present them the bill of fare as the one which
was to be footed that the whole amount which they had
to pay was for dinners 50, and for wine $3.50.
Every thing was now acknowledged to be right, and
the two Western men assured the waiter that they
would patronize the the establishment when they next
visited the eity.-N. o. Picawune.