Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1844-12-06
NEW ORLEANS GUESSING INSTITUTE


A seedy son of New England found himself re-
Gently all alone, unknown, and hard up, in New
Orleans. OF course he soon sat about guessing
some way TO get out of the scrape; and before he
had quite whitfield his stick away, he became alb
sorbed in the inception of grand thought. 1t
seems, sitting down to guess, his acute brain made
plunge, at once, among the metaphysical and sci
eutifc qualifications Of guessing and not long af-
ter he might have been observed, with sober sort
Of twinkling in his eye, marching off along the
"Levee," apparently looking for a house TO let,
humming-
Yankee Doodle! come along
When fortune feels distressing,
There's nothing like Yankee song,
And scientific guessing
Early the next day, our hero and another odd
looking genius were seen on ladder, mailing up
broad strip of canvass all across the front of house
on the Levee and the job being completed, there
was displayed, in flaring, sprawlng, Struggling,
broken backed, decaptated, knock-kneed, round
shouldered, bow-egged, llmping letters, Roman,
German, Hebrew, Caligraphic, Chirographic, Ara
bian Armenian, Pot.hooking-
NU ORLEENS GESSING INSTITOOT.
GEssING TAUT IN ONE LESSEN.
Only 90 five cents
The thing produced sensation at once among
sailors, peddlers Ievee laborers, and all sorts of
stragglers. Our professor borrowed an old rotten
awning, hung it up, and divided his room into two,
put his assistant at the door to take in quarters,
turned his tin cup inside down on the middle of an
old rckety table, and got vial of vinegar, pot OF
tar, bottle of whiskey, and various other well
known odorerous affairs arranged around him,
and with black skull cap on his head, and a red
stick in his hand, he made no bad 'splurge' at the
representation of modern Faust. Madame Lud-
wig might have taken a lesson from him, you I'M
dcrstand me now :) and Herr Alexander should
have seen him. He drew majestic ring on the
ceiling, with charcoal filling it up with the mos
ndscrlbable curlecues,' right over the table, ant
the business soon commenced.
In struggled an open mouthed inquirer after the
mysteries of guessing.
Stranger, good morning; walk up and prescribe
yourself as a true enquirer after the irrevelation
Of Guessoogy. Put your left hand upon the con
verted tin cup. Very WELL Lift your right hant
to the ceiling, and fix your eyes upon the magic
circle So. Now, if you wink, or remove you
eye you'll ruin the hui business, stranger; so, jus
hold still. Now precede to provoke the guessing
| spirit upon you. What is that hold under you
nose"
sVinegor.'
Grimm lingo! you learn fast what's ths'
'That's tar
Right again, my pupil what's this"
Brmstone.'
Good! you develope the faculties really anna
zing. Can you guess what this is p
'Whiskey, by thunder
'All creation! how quick you take are you sur
it's whskeyY
Sure well reckonr
you'd better taste it and see. Is it whiskey"
well, it Isl
'Take good swig, then; you'll do, stranger
you're ready to graduate. Come in next Halo
mister, don't take that bottle away
One after another, as fast as he could dispose
them, the Professor found his customers sdelin
half shyly in upon him all day long, and when no,
and then one would exhibit belligerent spirit BE-
tween good humor and whiskey, the New Englan
Magician still managed to send him off satisfied
l Every body coming out was questioned by the ct
ger crowd in waiting, as to what sort of a show
any how 2 and The answer was pretty general
the same" First rate and no mistake, and the la
g experiment is worth half the money"
r The Professor counted his receipts that night ar
Z found round sum to help him on West; sold h
: "institoot" for premium to his enterprslng asss
ant, and the next morning he was of, jinging Il
silver in his pocket and blessing devoutly the bel
+, efs of science !--.Nep Orleans Pic.