Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1844-12-19

did you says
Jake says he knows afamily who are 10
the habit Of having nothing for breakfast,
and warming il up for dinner. Helbinks
the boys would make good printers.
that he can jump over six foot fence. OF
because he dimes on.snails that be travels
slow.
VIII you. take pinch Of snuff, Mr..
Spriggias2 IA !
No, thank you; ifmy nose had been
intended Tor, a dus, hole, il would have
been placed the other side up.
Twas night An nature was hcshed
ii deep repose -myriads Of stars sparkled
in the heavens like purest diamonds
naught save the humble cricket. as he
nnefrily chirped discovering song, disturb
: ed this awful silence. But look be-
hold that fairform standing in all the loye
Iiress Of a maiden Just budding into wo-
Inanhood-hs !--sbe speaks -
TON, you darned fool stop twisting
chat cats TAIL .or Pllj jar your bowelsl'
A Western editorGt Is " bispere among
the knowing. onesc bss been guilty Of Civ
ing birth 10 lhe following:
awritngfor glory and printing for fun,
4 Is game at which but little is won.t l
IA We.b is word as signifies 10 sbe.
TO- do, or 10 suffer. (which is all the gram.
mar and enough too, as ever Iwas Taught, J
and If there's verb alive. I'm ,it-lor
I'm aIwaysa bein', sometimes a doin',
and continually sutferin'. - Cauzzlewn.
Justification .--" Father wants you 10
send hin tive yards Of black broadclolh.
he don't care what color il is, and wien
he kills bis pig last week. he'll pay you
what you owe him.'
Wife why in the name Of goodness,
=,did you net make the washerwoman put
starch in my shirt collar
Why. my dear, Is,hought il an useless
waste 81. The article. for | can get your
eholer up so easy without it,
Betting Propensities,-Some people will
bet about any thing.< The New Orleans.
,Pioayune tells story IN point.
ii An inyelerate> better CHANGED 10 step
into an apothecaFy's shop on business, and
when about leaving, incidentally remark
ed-'well. | don't want any physic to-
day.
'You don't know that, said the knight
4of the pestle and mortar. you may fall
down and break leg before you get 10
he Post Office
+. I'll bet you dollar tina, don't. an
swered the other.
f'Oh, no that's not good bet, was the
rerly.
I Well, then, Pll-bei do
I. The apothecary man declined the bet.
A Yankee boy had whole cheese sci
befote him BY a wsggish uncle, who how
fever gave him ne~knife.
This is a funny cheese, uncle joe, but
where shall | cut ia
oh. said the ginning friend cut il
swhere you Ike
VERY WE'LL said The Yankees, coolly
putting il under bis arm, III Just cut il al
home @ III
Fouxp.- As We were walking home
BON our Office last evening about. ten o.
clock, we stumbled over something on ttre~
side walk, which we felt confident did
mot belong there. for We have walked The
streets so often that we know every, e.
ven The smallest. ineqnsliiy ia theptve- ]
rnent. and we therefore turned around 10 !
see wha! it was. We lifted il up-we
looked atil--squeezed il-kickedii-but
fcr our life could moi tell what /, was
with difficulty we grasped'i,: We deter
mined 10 bright home with Us, and Try TO |
describe il. and see il any OF our friends
can enlighien US as,io what,it is.
1T is shaped Tor rather ,Das) good deal
like crescent hali-mona; a little like an
India-rubber life prsserver. and something
like pig yoke; felt little soft like and /
was covered with bed-licking. We had |
nearly broke our neck over it; and as We I,
never had amy luck in our lives. we
thought may be we have found atreasuie
d last We didn't know butt what il
was anew way The banks had adopted in !
making their remi,tances 50 As to prevent
robbery. for The ugly thing had string Il
each end, SO that, 10 emergency q stout
man might lie il around him. and CARY /
il short distance. i
With nervous hand therefore, We
seized cur knife and tore into il. L was
stuffed 50 eight lbasss soon as The blade
touched Il Il ripped sboutsix inches and |
the FIRST thing that pro,ruded itself from /
lie orisce was 40 old stocking veiy much /
wora. six more followed il next was an I
"a oIdlroundAhoui and then % rapid sue.
csssion, three short shirts and two long
ones. an old fur cap. pair Of bTeeches.
old a6dssesed the skirt Of an old calico
dress. pair 81 ois calico drawers, pair
Of cd asassi dfseefs. iaur I'D night caps.
two cradle blankets. one old Leghose bon
net en- Ole Morocco boot Two tsbie-eloihs,
"a old piano cover. three quilted pst'i-
nbsls and six napkins What 90 earth
eeuld ,hs hing have been Do tell.
fLouisp.ili lris-