Arkansas intelligencer., 1844-01-27

Not long since full Yankee who has located
himself in the Sucker State, brought to our mar.
ke' load Of very fine pickles. In order to mako
the most of his capital, he last brought sonso of
tho seed from which his extra cucumbers had
oeen raised. A Durchman who was also in with
load OF marketing, observing that tho Yankee
appeared to DO taking in the change quite rapidlv
enqnired how he sold his pickles.
| wal, calculated dollar a hundred"
"lawler a hundredl"
"Wal, ! rather CUES do; and reckon as it,
dred thousand On quarter Of an acre"
"Hoondred tousand Mine Got!--hov much
you charge for de seeds1'
oval, calculate there's about q mint guess IL
I'll retail 'cm all out. III get ten dollars, but il
you'll take all of dem We can keep the trade to
ourselves. guess I'll stand half the loss, say Ave
dollars for the lot. -
"Tnw|er hundred; hundred tousand mako one
hundred tousand tawler. Nine Coil takes 'em
all. Here ish do five tn ~ler."
Adriee Gratts.-shut your eyes to the fault. of
your neighoors, open them very wide to your own.
| Stop your ears whiIo gossps and slanderers are
speaking of others. Take your fingers away to
listen to the voice of friendly admonition.
Upon your mouth but seldom, and never but I'd
The point and purpose. Shut it close when mis-.
judging friendship holds the glass to your lips.
|
dn Irish Ansuer-I, may seem matter Of m
extraordinary difficulty to give plain answer to
plain question, and yet it is an art which it cvi.
IDENTIFY requires some trouble to lcarn. In all half
civilized nations, the inquirer for the most simple
thing Is met by an enigma for an answer, and
amongst the peasantry of Scotland and Ireland,
civilized as the general communities my be, tho
system often seems to be studied evasion. This
dialogue is the model of thousands in the SISTER
| isle -
'ls this the nearest road to Cork2''
"ls 1t to Cork you are going!'
yes, but my question is as to the no., rest
road!''
"Why, this road is as near as that on the other
side or the hill, for neither Of them is any road
at aI.'
"lhen which way ought I to got"
"Oh that depends on your honor's own liking.
rerhaps you wouldn't like to 60 back again 2"
."CeraIniy not. But one word for all, my good
fellow; do you know any thing about any kind Of
road here %
There, now, if your b; haqa' bad asked that h..
"Out with il then,"
""hy. the trnth is, your honor, that am q
stranger IN these parts-and the best thing you
can 40 Is to stop till somebody comes that knows
all about the way
first?
"Stupid that's all my thanks. But why did
not your honor ask mo if belonged to this place,
that would have settled the business. Take a
'oo'S advice and stop whore you are"
"My love-" said lady TO her husba nd with hor
mouth screwed up as if she had been eating green
Pe:s'mmons full mouth, ANY love, will you cor.
decend to hand me those cxpungers, that may
eradicate tho ex,runeous matter from the Iu.nins.
ry. that it may she'd forth its rays more eiulgent-
y."
"My dear, your condescension is supcrAuous."
"Here, SAL"
"Marm!''
Zip the luminary.''
"Marm!'
"Tip the luminary!"
"Marm?"
''snudF the candle, you wenchl''
The ray 10 make Doctor.-A Doctor in Ohio
writes to his father thus:
"Gear Daddy-I concluded to calculate rde
come down and git grinded into Doctor. hard
out cum as slick as ever was seen.
Hale columby happy land, .--
II ant a doctor III be hang'd!
pukes, purges, and SWEETS 'em,
Then II they di. wi-then lets 'em.
81 gifts plenty ofcustom, because they say they
die ezy! When you rite don't forgit to pu, Doc.
tor afore my name.'
Loaters.-lffferent uations have different kinds
Of loa!ers. The Italian Ioafer spends his time in
sleep!ng-the Turkish loefer in droaming-ths
Spanish in praying-the French in laughing-the
English in swearing the Russian in gambling
the Hungarian in smoking-the German in drink
ing-and the American in talking poltics.-
Which Of these different kinds of ioafing is tho
most destructive to morality?
Reader, art thou in prosperity! be grateful to
&c. L ~
thou in adversely, remember that He who rules
the thunder, is all powerful to from thee tho
bitter cup. ,s
When the thunder rolls drowned nnen in nil