The daily Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1841-1845, 1844-11-23

bly, ride In two cabs, or IN more than oae ous"ot
the same time II mast go III waik--i,e so' ."o
iogs any how-a leg ON each sds--a hand on eaon
sids--yos, aud sharp eye ach SIDE AN want
Is yoie on each eide 80 that m,ght go ~ TO en-
night and left, swing corners sashsy' anu 'o'o"A"S
all rouBd.'
Chanoel Il struck Peeg that he would have 10
course 10 ohanes--io the sores Vngiiisnu-'o ""-
eide upon what should be the nature oil Ills 'ole "
a loeling that perhaps genius hoyers IN the arr "ho
# properly appealed TO- will direct HE effae ai,o
doubtful steps of the great family OF the Pondefs TIC
be,ook himselfto by-paee, and af,er looking eau
uously around, Peleg drew penny rom la. po.Ae'
Heads Is Simpkins's side--ta,s Is Timpkinss side
which ever comes up oitnest, that's my SIDE" Tired
ofcoppers, lac drew lots-weared with lots, h1 hna
recourse various other means but as he never iet
sufficiently satisfied 10 stop these devices lei MN
pretty much as he was before. ~ wish, SAID re's,
al could only come across the man who was 1901
enough To invent these elections-ld ike 10 kho"
who found out about voting just TO plague me every
year Nice business TO be sure, To be compelled 70
lhDk-to do something when you don't Know "ha'
TO do aud to be something when you don't know
what To be-just as If all mans time was to be TAX
on up in thinking and doing, and being so that ne
can never be done. What side is Peleg w, Ponder
on Side what do | about side why
can't man be his side, and know who's gong
10 win, that he may hurrah right, and have some oai
and fish That's the kind of side wani-inside-
that suits me but somehow other, always get
of upside and Peleg sighed beside as he resolved That
he would exercise the utmost judgment on the occa-
sion, which was about To present ITSELF that ne ihignt
arrive "ths side up with care, for once IN ms me,
and have lucrative side at last. If not, he would
be beside himself.
"Men ask me what think of this candidate and
his principles, and of that candidate and his prncl-
pies Stuff what do the candidates think OF Peleg
w. Ponder and his principles Which of them Is
the most sensible man, and thinks me good fat OIL
flee and big arm chair-the thumpngest salary and
plenty of other people to do the work, while i cut
my name ON the table with knife that didn't have
TO buy He's the right kind Of man-he thinks 10
the purpose and if was he'd be elected, ia
vote for him often they would let me, and ask no
questions.
If had only thought of il in time, would have
organized myself into Town meeting, and appointed
myself as Committee of Correspondence TO write
to the candidates to ask them their sentiments No
voting in the dark for What's your candid OPT
Mon, public or private, OF the claims Of Peeg w
Ponder upon this great repubIic-what DO you think
his services worth and, in of your election
what do you pledge yourself to give him. back out,
and no lodging round the corner I"
Slowly sauntered Peeg to the election ground for
Timpkns and Simpkins--both sides-had promised
to for him in that he did not appear at the
polls in the course OF the morning. Peleg stopped at
all the head quarters and took tickets from every body
who offered him one, until his pockets were quite
full Indeed, he carefully read each ticket as il was
thrust into his hand and asked whether they were
quite sure it right. lie studied all the pacards,
as if he sought relieve his mind by the recreations
of light literature and by the graces of classical com
position and he nearly winked his eye out, by work.
ing his visual optics right and left to the leaders of
party, to convince them all round that Pceg W. Pom
der is the man 10 be relied on at pinch.
All this is nice enough" said Ponder, "a man
don't require side for tins sort of business-but
hats ha IN whp Loo he nd hon
Hurrah, there, Ponder!" cried Simpkns and
Timpkns in breath, as each of Them with hostile
tickets and conflicting placards, rushed oyously TO-
wards the doubter.
"1hs is the ticket" exclaimed Simpkins.
"Oh, 60 way-this is the ticket that Ponder al
ways votes dead or alive-isnr it, Ponder1 ~ added
Tlmpkins.
"Nonsense Ponder knows that this ticket is the
only warranted to the republic without salt -
said Smpklns.
"Ponder's no fool though you think him one--if
this ticket Is not carried, the country might list
well be set fire to, and no mines to play upon It,"
Without us, the grass won't grow"
Z" And if we don't get in, that's all the grass will
have to do-there won't be any Tor hay, never no
more.n
Thieves !" said Simpkins, in rage
al Robbers !" rejoined Timpkins in a fury.
"Swindlers and deiuders 81 cried Simpkns.
Rascas and rufaDs !" added Timpklns.
Don't believe em Ponder-fbs iasehoods and
fam ~
mot word OF truth in anything they say-all ca
lumniazaton and bamboozement."
"Genllemen, gentlemen, be cool :" chlmed in Pom
der; :" upon my soul, if don't believe you bolh-it
takes me to be impartial, and to have equal faith in
Timpkns and Simpkns-Tmpkins is right, and
Simpkins is right. That's the way | make myself
agreeable TO every body. Timpkns SAYS Smpkins is
a rogue. Very good. Simpkins says that Tlmpkins
is rascal. Just So There is proof that each Of
you wants TO ruin the country Per eciy proper.
If one don't get ln the grass won't grow and if the
other don't get m, there will be body TO the
grass if it does grow. Right both ways-frst rate
fellows every which way, accordint your own
showing. Now, tnen, which side is going 10 win p
"Ours !" shouted both.
Z" Bet you hat"
- suit OF clothes !"
"Oyster supper for sxl'
"a champagne blow out for nlne-snap ping tur-
ties and venison steaksln
1.-TWO 10 one ~
"Ten 10 one ~
Hundred TO one ~
"AI I've got-wife, children, everything
into the bargain ~
wouldn't have you, nor none Of your party, for
a Christmas gift"
If lived in the same street with many such Eel
lows as your side, I'D move right out WITHOUT stop
ping to pay the rent "
While Iimpkns and Simpkns were thus endea-
vorng to make the truth appear by dnt of hard bet
ting, and harder words, Peleg w. Ponder conlrived
TO Disappear !, Is said that in the course Of the day
he himself made many bets, "hcdging" with great
care, that he might not devate from the strict line of
mpartlslIty; but how he voted, no one has yet been
able to discover The judges and inspectors of Pc.
legs ward recolect something about seeing his anx-
ous countenance at the window but still there is n
strong impression on the minds Of many, that even
then he had not reached conclusion, and merely
looked in TO endeavor TO discover how affairs were
going. Pecg, therefore, stands alone and singular
THE MAN VINO DIDN'T VOTE AT ALLn
Cunous--A party of gentlemen, one day this
week, discovered on an island IN the Usage about 10
miles above this place. two three old gun barrels
lying upon or near he surface of the ground Upon
digging, they found within three feet ahnui forty gun