Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1844-09-26

supplies upon their natural lives, were
! i'atillcted with natural conceIt that they
/ were by no means cIrcumscrbed IN
I foundation for such a project. Ia valn
did the board endeavor TO persuade thrm
that they were half dead already. They
! fought hard tnr a few more years, ,sworc
+, ,ihaI their father had been almost lmmor-I
tai, aud that whole families had been
as tenacious Of lie as eels themselves.
Alas they were first ordered into an
adjoining room, which | soon learned
was the condemned cell, and then deli
caleIy informed that The establishment,
ropId laYe nothing 10 say to then. -
Some, Indeed, had the good luck to be
repricved little longer, but even these
did not effect a very flarering or adj
vantagoous bargain. One old gentle
men hal large premium to pay for n
lottcr in his knees another for an eX-
traordinary circumstance IN the girth
and n dowagcr of higher responsibility,
with certain undue proportions of width,
was fined mos, cxorbiranly. The only
customer who met with any thing like
satisfaction, was gigantic man Of Ire
land, with whom Death, ] thought, was
likely to have n puzzIing contest.
GLOW old are YOU, s,r Z" asked an
examiner.
"tortv.'
"lou seem IA strong mau.'
81 am the strongest man in ireland. "
"!fut subject to the govt :"
"Nn-the rheumatism. Nothing else
upon my soul"
"What age was your father when he
died :"
ooh, he died young but then he
: was killed in a row
"Have you any unc.es alive -
"No-they were all killed N rows
! too
"Pray, sir, do you think Of returning
to Ireland ~
r "May be shall, some day or other
! "What security can we have tha
you are rot killed in a row yourself -
ooh, never fear am the sweetest
temper in the worId-barring when IN
dining out, which is not ollen."
"Nhat, s.r you can drink lit
tie p
"Thrcc bottles, with ease"
cay, that is bad. You have IA red
face, ard look apopIectic. YOU will,
no doubt, 90 of suddenly"
"Devi bit My face was born with
me and I'll lay bet ! live longer
than two in the room
"But three bottles -
"Neyer mind that. cont mean to
drink more than bottle and half IN
future. Besides, intend to get mar
ried if can, aud live snug"
A debate arose among the directors
4 respecting this gcn,Ieman's eligibility.
y The W ord crow" and "thrcc bottles
y ran, hurry -scurry, round the table
e Every dog had a snap at them. AT last
d however, the leader olthe pack address
5 scd him in domurrIng growI, an'
: agreed that, upon his irregularities, h'
n should be admitted as = fit subject.
y 1t was now my turn to exhibit bUt
5 as my friend was handing me forward
: my progress was arrested by the c"
trance or vouGg lady with an cldcrl.
j. mald-scrvant. She was dressed IN Sigh
C mourning, was the most sparkling beau
G ~ | had ever seen, and appeared 1
g produce an instantaneous effect, eve
g upon the stony-hcartcd directors them
4, selves The chairman politely rcques
n ted her to take seat at the table, an
d immediately entered into her busIncs
20 which seemed little more than to sEo
- herself and he entitled to twenty thol
,c sand pounds, for which her Ice hps'm'
III had insured his life.
is "2ounds, - though; J, "twcnty thol
h sand pounds ana a widow.
" "Ah, ua3am !' observed the char
81 man, "your husband made too good
y bargain with US. lam told he VA, q
elderly, sickly sort of Il man, and u
~ like to last but never thought !
would die sn spou a,tcr his marriage.
- IA elderly, sickIy sort ot man
" She wond marry again, OF course
was on iirc to be examined before he
and let her hear favorable report
ne. A. mck would have ~, she hi
some further transactions which :
" qu,rrd certain papers TO be sent for, al
- IN the pause, stepped boldly torwar
II, "Gentemcn, said my lawyer, WI
smllc which whtenud the tip of
nose, and very early sent 1t throu
=. the external tcgumcnts, "allow me
introduce Mr.. ----, n parlcuI