The Whig standard. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1843-1844, 1844-04-30

You rais'd for all, the welcome, saving hand
MAJOR JONES AND Mr.. CLAY.
To our mind there is about as much fun in the
following letter addressed to the editor of the
Southern Miscellany" as in any thing we have
read for many day. If our readers laugh as
heartily as We have laughed over the Majors
report of his experience, the state of their health
will be decidedly improved. The author of Ma
jor Jones' letter is one Of the richest humorists
of the day.-N. 0. Iropic
LETTER FROM MAJOR JONES.
PinepiNe, April 3, 1914.
To Col. HANLEITER
DEAR SIR: If the world was to come TO
eend now, if all creation was 10 bust up, as old
Miller wants it to, and the wings and lokyfokys
was all to be fried up into one eturnal stew,
wouldn't die without one consolation, as the old
woman sed-Pve seed and shuck hands with
Mr.. Clay But suppose you would like to hear
all about it, specially as he didn't come to your
town.
Well, the fact is, was in perfect SWIFT
ever sense MIR. Clay arriv in Georgia for fear
moughnt git chance to see him. Mary wasn't
posed to my leavin home. But Mary's a right
clever gall after all, and after reasoned the pint
with her, and swaded her little, she gin her
consent, providin would promise to go rite srate
down to Augusty, and come right back without
gwine to no partys or balls or any SIGH doips.
don't know whether she was more fraid Of my
morals or the charms Of them Augusty gals,
but she was more monstrous particular about
my mixin with EN- much. Be that as it mought
she hasn't got nolhin to fear from them nor no
other galls-though tween you and me, ther is
some monstrous gaily lookn creeturs in Au-
gusty.
But to proceed--the gals had my Sunday fix
ins all done up and reddy for me by Monday
mornin, and sot out for Augusty bright and
early. At first was monstrous traid | mought
lose the way, but fore got in fifty miles of the
city, all had to do was jest to foler the crowd
1t seemed like the whole country was all movin
to one pint-al gwine to see Mr.. Clay. | arriv
in the city bout noon on Tuesday, and SIGH
sight l never expect to see agin. Men and VIM
min, gals and boys, niggers and all, was dressed
up within an inch Of their lives and runnin
through the streets in crowds looking out for Mr.
Clay Banners was flynn horses was rearin, car
riages was whirlin, niggers hollerin and children
squain in every direction My horse was worse
scared than was, and what upon yearth to do
with him didn't know. couldn't see no swim
gin signs, and one house looked jest as much like
a tavern as the rest The only chance was to
seed whar the tavern was.
Ses he, "what house do you want to stop at Z"
"The tavern" SEES |.
"Well," ses he, " there's several taverns, but
reckon they're all full by this time-you better
put your horse in Livery Stable and look for a
house afterwards"
Emmy way" ses I, $50 can get chance to
see Mr.. Clay"
Fhe man pointed me to stable whar left
tho III I H., ~
when Mr.. Clay would be in town.
The gentleman pulled out his watch, and ses
he, Mr.. Clay will be in the city in bout three
quarters of over"
WELL" ses |, mister, do tell me where
can see him."
"He is to be received at the City Hail." ses
he pintin down to thunderin CRATE big bildin
with woman on the top holdin new fashioned
pair of stillyards in her hand" he will be cor
Quoted rite thar as soon as he rives in town."
"Thank you, sir" SEES |, and away | split for
the City Hall.
When got thar, maybe Their wasn't crowd
of people on the benches, and all in the lot, and
on the fences an every whar, as far as could
see-I was bent on gittin good place, SO
could see and hear-so crowded in among 'em
til got rite up tree in front of the portico whar
they said Mr.. Clay was gwine to stand. The
crowd looked monstrous anxious, jest like they
were dredful hungry and was waitin for their
dinners The sun was monstrous hot, and the
gals begun to git terrible tired holdin their pa
rasols over their faces and KEEP all the time akin
the gentlemen what time it was.
Bimeby, whow-o-o-o; went the cannon" oh
he's comm !" ses the gals" hurra !" shouted
the men.
Then such a rumpus the cannon KEEP firm
away as fast as it coud-the people shouted
the wimmin talked-the children squalled, and
the crowd came rushing into the yard like mill
tail People on foot and on horses, and in car
riages and in stages, and all sorts OF ways, came
rushin in, til they raised such dust that could
hardly see the liberty pole not MORN fifty yards