Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1844-05-10
A DOSE.-BY +. HOOD.

Ellen, You have been OUT
We'll, know | havr.'
TO the Kings Head =
No, John, no. But no matter. You'll
be troubled no more with my drinking
What do you mean r
Il mean wha, | say, John,' replied the
wife, looking very serious, and speaking We
ry so'emnly and deliberately, with strong
emphasis on every word. you, will, be,
troubled, no, more, with, my, drinking-l
HAVE TOOK 1T AT LAST
Il knew 1t y exclaimed the wretched hus-
band, desperately tossing his arms aloft, as
when all is lost. L knew i, land lcav-
ing one coat flap in the hands of his wife, who
vainly attempted to deiain him, he rushed
from the room-sprang down the stairs, both
flights, by two and three stairs at a time
ran along the passages, and wi,hou, his hat,
or gloves, or stick, dashed out at the street
door, sweeping from the step two ragged lit
tic girls, quarter loaf, basin of treacIr,
and baby. But he never stops to ask il
the children were hurt, or even TO see wheth-
or the infant dripped with gore or molasses.
Away he ran like rabid dog, straight for
ward down the borough, needless alike of
porter's load, bakers basket, and butchers
tray.
'Isay,' muitered the errand boy, as he
staggered from the collision.
DO that again. growled the playcard
man, as he recovered the pole and board
which had been knocked from his shoulder.
Mind where you're a goin,' bawlcd
hawkcr, as he picked up his scattered wares;
whilst dandy suddenly thrust into kennel,
launched after the runner one of those YER
bal missiles which are said to return, like the
boomerang, TO those who launch them.
But on, on, on, scampered the tee totaller,
needless Of all impediments-on he secured,
like he Camilla, to the shop, number 2iO,
with the red, blue and green bottles in the
wndows-the chemists and druggis,'s-inio
which he darted, and up to the little bald
man at the desk, with barely breath enough
left to gasp out, My wife ! poison ! and
'Pnmp'
Vegetable or mineral 2 inquired the sur
gcon apolhecary, with professional GOODNESS.
Both, all sorts, Iaudanum, arsenic, oxalic
acid, corrosive subimity,' and the tee.total-
Ter was about to add pineapple rum, amongst
the poisons, when the Doctor stopped him.
Is she sick 2
No. But remembering the SYMPTOMS
over night, the tcetoaller ventured to say,
on the strength of his dream, that she was
turning all manner of colors, like tho rain.
bow, and swelling as big as house.
Then there is not moment to LOSE said
the Esc"apus, and accordingly clipped on
his hat, and armed himself with the nccessa-
ny apparatus-a sort of elephantine syrange
with very long nunk-he set off at "A ,rot,
guided by a teetotaller to nnpoison the rash
and Inflated bachanaian. Mrs. Burrage.
And did he save her =
My dear madam, be content TO let tina,
issue remain little, and accumulate intel
est like IA sum in the savings bank
Now when the teelo,aller, with the medi.
cal man at his heels, arrived at his own
house, Mrs. Burrage was still in her bed
room, which was great convenience; for
before she could account for the intrusion of
stranger, nay, ever without knowing how
it was done, she found herself seated-mor
zealousy, tenderly or ceremoniousy-in an
easy chair and when she attempted to expos.
tuate she felt herself choking with a tube or
something, which was certainly neither mac
caroni, nor stick liquorice, nor yet pipe pep.
permint.
To account for this precipitancy, the cx-
aggerated representations of her husband
must be borne in mind and if his wife did
not exhibit all the dying dolphin-like colors
that he had described--if she was no, quite
so blue, green, yellow or black, as he had
painted her, the apolhecary made sure she
would soon be, and consequently went 10
work without delay, where delays were so
dangerous.
Mrs. Burrage, however, was not woman
to submit quietly to a disagreeable opera
ton, against her own consent so with viz.
Orous kick, and a push at the same time. she
cOntrived TO rid herself at once of the doctor
and his instrument, and Indignantly deman.
ded to know the meaning of the assault, upon
her.
It's to save yonr life-your precious life.
Ellen said the teetotaller, very soIemnlv.
It's to empty the stomach, madam, said
the doctor.
Empty fiddle re'orted Mrs. B. who
would have added stick but the doctor,
watching his opportunity, had drxrerously
popped the tube into her open mou,h-no
wilhou, fresh scuflle from his patient.
For the Lords sake. Ellen continued
the iee'oialler, confning her hand, do, do
pray do sit quiet
'Pob-wob-wobble,' said Ellen. sHul
-bub-bub-bubble,' attempting to speaI
with another pipe in her throat besides he
windpipe.
Have the goodness ma'am, TO be compo
sed,' implored the doctor.
| WON'T shouted Mrs. Burrage, hayin,
again released herself from, the instrumen, b,
desPerat struggle. what am | to b,
pumped out for7
'Oh, Ellen, Elem said the teetotaller
won know what YOU have taLen,