davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

the particular position in which tobacco
chewer knows how 10 put his digits when
about to unlade. He drew them across his
mou h; | trembled for the consequences,
shovId he throw such l,ad upon the floor
or the hearth. But he had no intention
thus TO waste his quid, and-shockiDg to
relate-dePoSited it beside his plate on my
wile's damask cloth.
This was too much. | plead sickness
and rose. There was no lie in the asser-
ton now, was sick. | retired from the
table, but my departure did no, discompose
Farmer PIoughshare, who was unconscious
OF having done wrong. | returned in sea-
son TO see him replace his quid in his
mouth TO undergo second mastication,
and the church bell importuncly ringing.
called him away before he could use his
plate for spit-box-lor such, was per-
suaded, would have been his next motion.
went up stairs, and throwing myself on
the bed, fell asleep. Dreams of inunda-
ton, floods and fire, harrassed me. | tho't
was burning and smoking like a cigar
then thought the Merrimack had burst lis
banks and was about to overflow me with
It's waters. c,u.d not escape, the water
had reached my chin--I tasted it, it was
like TOD lcco ,u,ce. Icoughcd and screamed,
and awakening, found had been to sleep
with quid in my Inoulh. Ny wife entered
at the moment threw away the filthy weed
-'lIuz, if | were you would not use that
stuff any more
won't, said |. Neither flo nor twist,
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20
TIE SCHOOLMASTER.

\ board Of School Commissioners, on
numbering consequential little village in
Maryland, being in want of u teacher, ad-
yertsed in The newspapers for well dis
posed, moral man, who was capable Of
issching the dead languages, and did not
chew tobacco or dgink whiskey.
After lortnigh; Of this advertising had
/ been elaborated, raw boned Yankee made
his appearance with 4 knife and n pine
stick in one hand, and Cape Cod protec-
ton, aIlas cake Of gingerbread IN the
other, and held the following dialogue with
the committee aforesaid:
Well SIR said the chairman. eveir @
the candidate from head 10 foot, do you
possess the necessary requirements for a
puLlc school teacher 2
Il guess [ do y answered Slick whit
Ting his stick.
do you understand Latin we'll p said
one Of the committee men, who was Il
Dulch farmer.
Well guess do!' replied Slick again
rounding The end Of his stick with his
knife.
Let's hear some of your LATIN said
the chairman.
.Qumoo, hic squashicum, ct pauEln-
tum Iugum:' sand Slick, drawing his coat
sleeve under his nose.
" IIumph = exclaimed the Du,chman,
ish ia Latin! Who's te author 2
'losephus' replied Slick, 'he says in
his lie of Gov. Hancock, Sic transit glo-
ria Monday mornjng-HancockiOus quad
ercl demonstrander.'
.Dat's goot:' exclaimed tic Du'chman,
rubbing his hands, 'torc was never peter
Latin
Now sir said the chairman, / sup,
pose you understand Geography
:! guess do,' said Slick, sharpening
the end of his stick
low far have YOU bcenp
~ lar as The District Of Columby.'
w hat State is il n!'
a state Of de>pera;iou.'
What latitude are we iu?'
According to the thermometer, we are
ten degrees below zero
Which is the most western part Of n
American
/ Cape Cod
Good. Now sir, let US know how far
YOU STUDIED mathematics. w nat Inc area
Of a square acre OF landp
That depends upon the quality;' replied
Slick, swapping his knife.
We'll, suppose 1t be good corn landP
why, it depends on the number o. hills
Say five hundred
Guess you might as we'll tell fellow
/ how many grains 10 the hill
/ Five
Then, accordin' 10 Euclid, it would be
752 feet horizontally perpendicular
! Excellent Pray, sir, where do you
come fromP
Taunton, down in the Bay State, ant
can do any thing
No doubt, but there is one thing you
cannot do; you cannot humbug US. You
can go
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

Lousiaaia Election and TIE QacSiioR Of
Ahncration.-Ihe Globe, alluding To "a.
Wing letter from Louisiana, respecting
the recent election ii that ate. says:
" The Texas question, writer thinks.
had no effect OH the elections. We should
not be surprised il it had not much, as We
have heard that the wings advocated the
. immediate" anuexat on Of Texas a.
loudly, it not as sincerely, as did The demo
gratis. The wings arc playing their old
game again for Texas al the south, aul
against II at the north; as they were in 10,
ag>lnst bank OF the United ) aics al the
south. and tor one at the north. All w.
wonder at is, that any person should believe
them either north or south, east or " est
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20
AN ODD WAY TO DO GOOD.

An individual who owned a considera-
BILE amount Of properly, but who was much
addicted to the use of strong drink, that
his friends arranged matters in way as
to prevent It's being squaudered, by reno
wing it from his reach, and after taking
care that he was well provided with the
necessaries OF life, allowed him j certain
sum of money. AS he grew older, his
appetite grew stronger, and his daily al
lowance was not sufficient 10 crafty his
increasing thirst. He would go 10. his
friends and plead for an hour or mnresnt Il
time, tor little more Of the ready, but
they were memorable. At length, they
told him to go 10 4 certain physician, (who
was intimately acquainted with the fami-
ly, and probably he would loan him what
he so much desired The poor fellow
went TO the doctor, and asked him the ia
yor.
"fll tell you what will do said the
medical man, Il will buy your carcass al
a TAR price-come what will you take for
Eve a9 Isa yo G6q0 bH tsp 5adi Fl? :fs y6y
sician, grasping the poor fellow by the
wrist and looking him steadiastly in the
eyes. All that will do-here's the
money" continued he, handing the sot u
five dollar bank note. "And now go to
the rum shop immediatey-drink as much
as you want, and at the expiration of a
week, your body will be at my disposal"
- You don't mean to say that am going
to die SO soon I" exclaimed the frightened
victim Of alcohol.
II do mean to say that if you continue
10 drink as you have done for the last six
months in one week you will be dead
man-and Of course, as have purchased
your body in 4 fair business-like way, |
shall be at liberty to operate upon it.
The cool, serious manner Of the doctor
puzzled our hero, and he already began the
death rattles in his throat
Here - roared he, "take back the
money! have no notion of being made
mince- meat in SO short ;ime.'
"But," said the knight of the lance, at
is Irregular business transaction"
81 don't care-here's your money -
and away he dashed out of the office, to the
no little amusemen; Of his tormentor, who
stood for several mnnies convulsed with
laughter.
The topper that was. neve. drank liquor
from that day, and in very little while be-
came 4 sober, upright citizen.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

A Serious Quest oa.-The Supreme
Court Of Connecticut, on an appeal, has
decided that the individual property of the
citizens OF Bridgeport is liable 10 be dis
trained and sold on an execution issued
upon the bonds given by that town in aid
OF u railroad company. Ii this doctrine
shall be susIaned-and we are not inl'or-
med that there IS anything peculiar about
these bonis-it viii apply equally as well
to cities and states, and all communit es
which are sueable. Ii is a new question,
and the decision contrary 10 The general
received opinion. Ii the members OF a
corporate community are held liable in
their individual property for such debts,
We imagine hat few viii BE- created here
a.ter.-BHfaio ia
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

PUITING THINGS TOO FAR APART.--Sambc
was slave to a master who was cons,itu.
tionaIly addicted 10 lying Sambo being
strongly devoted T. his master, had. by
dint OF long practice, made himself an
adept in giving pIausibjlIty 10 his master 5
stories.
One day when the master was enter
tanning his guests in his customary man
ner, among her marvellous facts, he re-
lated an incident which took place in one
of his hunting excursions.
IL fired al a buck" said he, " at n hun
drcd wards distance, and The ball passed
through his lett hind foot, and through his
head lust back Of the ear y
This evidently produced some little doubt
in the minds OF his guests he called upon
Sambo to corroborate him.
.. Yes. massa," said the almost contour
ded slave, after 4 moments hesitation, me
Sc de ball hit'im. Jes as maSsa. lift up de
gun TO he eve, de old buck llft up him foot
10 scralch'im ear, and massa's ball went
clear grough'im foot an head at de same
time"
The guests were perfectly satisfied with
Sambo's explanation. and swallowed the
whole without hesitation bat when the
guests We're gone, Sambo veniured upon
his masters coed humor so far as to remon-
stra,e:
For goodness sake, massa. when YOU
tell a nudder such a big lac, don't put um
50 far apart, me hab taruation hard work
10 get AN toseiAcy. "
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

A Forcibie Argument. Gentlemen of
the Jury said a hoosier lawyer, addressing
real she'll bark jury, ! say that ere mag
unanimous sun shines in the heavens, though
YOU can't see it, kasc its behind cloud !;
but know il, though | can't prove il. So
my client, who rises ailly and hunts coons
Ike an honest man, has good case, though
he can't prove it. Now if you believe what
| tell YOU about the sun, you arc bound on
your Bible oath TO believe what tell you
about my clicnt's case; aud if you don't,
then You call me liar, and that I'll be squa,-
we'd if I'll stand any how so, if you don't
want to swear false and have no trouble.
you'd better give Us or case.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

A man III Mississippi proposes a method
for transporting mail matter. 1t is to have
a large alright iron tube, extending from
city TO city, in one end of which a piston is
10 be placed with the mail matter attached.
the air is then TO be exhausted from the oth-
or end of the tube by means Of an air pump
driven bi steam or water power, aud thus by
the pressure Of The atmosphere The piston
and mail bag are to be driven through tie
tube like streak OF lightning.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

TIE Effects of the DEATH Panis iment.-
On Tuesday we copied into our paper an
account of the hanging OF young man
named George Deny. in Putnam county,
convicted of the murder Of an aid gentle
man named Wanzer, who resided in Put
man Valley. Since then our reporter,
who was in that part of the county at the
tj9pf has furnished US with the following
be hung between sun rise and sun set, and
at an early hour in the morning the rords
leading to what is called Putman's Corner.
where the court house stands, were alive
with wagon loads of people, They has
tened along as though they were going to
some festivty. The ladies were dressed
in their gayest attire, and The gentlemen
laugh he'd and talked and sung with the
greatest hiarity and joylulness. Such
was the scene that presented itself to the
eye of the culprit, when he was brought
out IN front of the court house, with the
rope fastened around his neck. that ne re-
marked, as we have been credibly inform
ed, that he could not realize that he was
going to be hung. but it appeared TO him
more like the fourth of Juy.
The open space in front Of the court
house was filled with a promiscuous as
sembly, many OF whom were drinking,
fighting and carousng, within the hearing
OF the unfortunate cuIprit. And when he
was taken within the enclosure 20 DC le-
gally mardered, the tops Of lie surround
ing houses were covered with people anx-
loas TO witness scene from which an
interrupted mind would TURN with unspeak-
able horror.-N !. ErcRing Post.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

East Bosfon-The island of East Bos
ton was purchased about ten years since
at the rate of about one huadrcd dollars
per acrc-and land has recently been sold
there, we understand, at the rate of ff;y
thousand dotftrs per arTet The wharf
property at East Boston is now worth
more than the whole island cost ten years
ago. Very few spo,s OF earth in this
country, or probably in any other, have
advanced IN value with such rapidly as
East Boston Aurora.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

\ celebrated clown once produced on a
stage a rusty sword. This" said he,
= is the sword with which Baalam smote
The ass" One OF the aud ence replied ::
Il though: he had no sword, but only
wished for one
. You're right" rejoined the clown.
" and this is the very sword he wished
for"
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20
VOL. Y" NO. 8.

Depression Of the Ca,pian.-A few
years ago II was generally believed that
the waters of the Caspian Sea were al
least 800 feet below the level of those of
the Black Sea and Mediterranean. This
view was adopted in consequence Of a Sc
rles OF barometrcal observations. But, !,
having been found that from the grea,
number OF stations across the land sepa-
Ing the Caspian from the Sea o. Azoif.
small errors had been very greatly magni-
hea, now survey was made. Three able
mathematicians, Messrs. Futch. Savi,ch
ana Saber, were, therefore, employed To
make independan, trigonome,rical level
ings, and their observations agreeing, To
within foot or two, for the mean result.
03.6 English fee, as the depression, the
possible error being limited to ID foot.
which definitely settles this long pending
geographical question.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

C. We are happy to learn from the
party papers, that SO many counties in this
state are IS makiag up''-,hough we do not
like the idea Of others being ION fire.
a great number Of them are B.orisss,' >
but is to De hoped that they will no, over
leap the boundaries of the state, and leave
US entrely.-Bgf. Ga=.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

A Charitable SHggcstion.-In speaking
of clerical friend, who possesses very
rubicund countenance. Puninam said yes
terday-" don't think he drinks. In
fact know he dosen't, for he told me so;
but he probably sleeps III bed with red
Post.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

II in Sparta a young man purchased an
estate upon advantageous terms, or made
what is called "a good bargain he was
rendered accountable 10 the State, and
fined for being unjust, in buying a thing
under its value. Our practice is just the
reverse; the young man who can make
the best bargain is the Snurtesf.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

u II your sister, while tenderly enga
ged in a tender conversation, with her ten
der sweetheart, asks you TO bring gIass
Of water from an adjoining rooLl, YOU oa1
star, Oh the errand, but you need not re-
turn. fou vii! not be missed, that's Ger.
tain, we've seen !! tried.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

Too Na-h.-It cost about million Of
dollars each session of Congress for the
taking OF the ayes and nays. The pay Of
members amoun.s TO 500 per ho4r al!
the time the session laslS.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

An Irish beggar, pretending 10 be
speeches., was thrown off his guard by
the question OF How many years have
you been dumb p and answered, :. Five
years, an plase your honor."
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

A Strange F"st.-A fish has been caught
at Davenport, Iowa, of remarkable shape,
1t being mostly hcaG, and u shovel nose of
great width lis mouth opens wide enough
TO take In mans head with ease, and the
body quite small. The like was never
seen before.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

A Irick.-A Liverpool paper of late
date, states that man in that town lately
sold n number Of birds as canaries, which
were found 10 be nothing but sparrows
painted yellow.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

The poiatoe crop in the vicinity Of Ban
gor PROMISES 10 be very abundant this sea
s1n.-Jcgcr~oa County Dem.
The,e was a slight shock OF an earthquake
at Memphis, Tenn, On the 10Th uIt.-Ib.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

In Nantucket there is j house which
has good cedar sh'ngie roof, put on in
the year l7l7, They have no rot about
them. They must bc good Shingles To
has. ~ years.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

The O bbeway indians, whilst in Lon
don made purchase of some $4,000 brass
for the purpose Of ornament and
banter when they get home again.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

Ia Boston Of $4,000 children between /
and 10 years Of age, -, 00O are educated
at the public expense.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

The public land sale for the last quar-
ter yielded $500, 100. They will pfoba-
bly, yield :<2,000.t 60 for The whole year.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

Northern farmers continue To flock t.
Virginia. where land is SO cheap, free Il
Dor 50 effective, and markets 50 near.
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

II we judge from history of what is the
book OF glory composed! Are moi lis leaves
dead meu's bones-its golden clasps, the
pj.lags Of nations! II Is illuminated with
tears and broken hearts
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

Ny DEAR" said lady yesterday 10 hes
husband, " if YOU are bent on your fishing
expedition, YOU had better get up--day has
Drolc." Broke. has it? well, don't Won
dcr-lhc cxtravagant outlay of cock-crowing
that have heard this morning, proves 10
me that day-5rcak Is got up at considerable
considerable to last Eong.-
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

HCr'co and Ie.ras.--A correspondent
OF the Sun, writing from Mexico. says,
. YOU may expect from Mexico tremen-
dous and final effort for the reelection of
Texas, during the fall and winter" This
must be good news for and TO the wings
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

The mystic alphabetical symbols, {.
H., are now said 10 stand for = Out OF
kash."
Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-08-20

The telegraph is printed on a double medium
sheet. at the rate OF - per annun in advance,
- 30 any time before the expiration of months
from the tune OF subscribing, or 50 if payment be
longer delayed.
No subscriptions received for less period than
three months. No paper will be discontinued I'M
til all arrearages are paid.
ADNERTIsEMENTs,
Inserted at the rate of one dollar per square for
the first insertion, and two shiIling3 for each sub
scqueut insertion.
\ liberal deduction made 20 those who advertise
by the year.
Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1844-04-26

Coon SleN!-The Ohio Statesman
abounds in ViruleDt and coarse assaults
on the public and private character Of
Mr. Clay, more vile and false if possible
than the State Printer heaped in 1910
upon The name & fame Of Gen. Harrison,
Contradicled ialsehoods he shameessl y
reiterates now as he did then, and the
reckless and abusive course of The States
man cannot fail again to recoil upon
the head Of Van Burenism in Ohio Car
did, intelligent people disapProVe of &
resort TO ruffianism 10 carry poIIIica
ends, and correctly Judge that cause Sc
desperate as to require 1t, is not deseI
wing putIr confidence and support
Cleveland Herald. ,
Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1844-04-26
NUS. ms
IRON g. NAILS
SHAVING & ADDRESSING
establishment.
April 10, 1874,
Printers lee 100
April 10. 1914.
Sept %.

THE undersigned would respectfully
inform the citizens Of CarrOlllon and
its vicinity, that he has recently rented
the room formerly occupied by Helgh
ion and Romsower-Where he will hold
himself in readiness 10 wait on his Gus
toners at all seasonable hours. He
would also tender his highest thanks to
the liberal part of community Tor their
patronage, and soIicits a continuance Of
the same. Hoping by industry, econo-
my and strict attention TO his business
TO merit the appreciation Of the public
generally A word TO Young gentle
men who would be admired by The la
dies. TO those who have lost the great
pst ornament which nature ever bestow
ed on mankind, | would say, that by
making application to the subscriber,
ihev can have a beautiful head oI hair
restored with little expense, and with
out lhe least injury 10 the skin. Call
and examine a specimen for yourselves
and that will put the question beyond
doubt.
Razors dressed on short notice.
STUDELY.
CsrroIlton, Feb, 2, 1914.
Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1844-04-26
SHERIFF'S SALE.

BY virtue of snndry wrlls f. ia. 4
alias f, ia et leU, ta issued out of The
Court Of common Pleas Of jefferson CO.,
o. and 10 me directed, | will offer for sale
IN the town Of Malvern, Carroll county
on Saturday the 4th day Of May next,
at 10 o'cock M. of said day the following
property to wit! two head Of horses. one
buggy and harness, QUE milch COW, oGe
OK cart, and one scale and beam. Taken
in execution and will he sold bv me.
e.. DAVID WATT, Sheriff.
April l9, 1874.
Printers fee | 90.
Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1844-04-26

The Globe is still figuring out favor
sble result for the Locos IN Connecticut.
We donot think however, they will be
able to ceuat The Wings Out, as he Gov
ernor and Council Of Maine, recently
did McRoBlNsoN, The Wing candidate
for Congress, who was most undoubtedly
elected. The Globes statistics iron Con
nectlcut are specially intended tot Virgin
ia market to Influence its coming cleo =
tons.- Forum
Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1844-04-26
ATPTHBGYTpIOGT,
Carr0IItOn Gmards!

You will meet al the House OR. Nc
Elderly, 10 CarrolIIon, Tor the purpose
of Drilling, on Saturday 9Th inst. al
10 o'clock A. M. Roll TO be called a
half past 10 o'clock precisely, Absen
tees will be returned and dealt with &C.
cordiug to law.
by order Of Capt. Burger,
G. F. kennedy, o. s.
April Is. 1914 L------
Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1844-04-26

which perpetual streams Of prosperity
will flow"
So, il seems that the Presiden; has
determined TO submit the Treaty OF An
nexalion' 10 the Senate onl y out ol 'rs-
spect for the constitutional privileges ol
the Senate but for which he would have
carried The measure by djOint resolution .
"A very few days would have sufficsd
for hat." Really! 1t tSeems hat this
President Of ours has 80 sovereign pow
er over the national destiny that he
can carry treaties into effect "indepe1'
IDENTIFY of the constitutional privileges Of
the Senate"
Who knows but this very treaty OF his
instead Of being sent to the Senate Tor
its consent and advice, is ye. TO be sub
miued by an Executive message TO both
Houses, 10 order 10 be made ga joint res
oIulion Of" and the constitutional re-
QUESTION Of lwo-thirds vote thus avoi
dedi
We do not know wha, others may
think of this matter, but in our appre
hensiou, the news of such an outrage, i
medtaled, having succeeded, would b'
the knelI Of constitutional government
Nat. Inteliigencer.