The Ripley advertiser. [volume] (Ripley, Miss.) 1843-1897, 1844-05-11
COUSIN SALLY DILL r D.
BY HAMILTON c JONES.


SCENE--A Court Of Justice in North
Carolina.
A beardless disciple of Themis rises and
thus addressed The Court: May it pleas
your Worships and you gentlemen of the
Jury, since it has been my fortune, (good or
bad, | will not say y TO exercise myself in
legal dsquisltions, it has never befalen mo
to be obliged to prosecute SO dreful, mark
ed and malicious an a.sault-a more wilful
violent and dangerous battery, and finally
more diabolical breach of peace has seldom
happened in civilized country, and 1
dare say it has seldom been your duty to pass
upon one SO shocking TO benevolent feelings,
as this which took place over at Cap Rice's
in this county. But you will hear from tho
Witnesses
The witnesses being sworn, two or three
were examined and deposed one said that
he heard the noise and did not see the fight;
another that he saw the row bu, did nit know
who struck first; and third, that he was
very drunk, and couldn't say much abou. the
skrimage.
Lawyer Chop,---i am cory gentlemen
to have occupied your time with the stupidity
of the witnesses examined. 1t arises, gen.
tIemen, altogether from misrepresentation on
my part. Had known, as | now do, that
had witness in attendance, who was we'll
acquainted with all the circumstances of The
case, and who was able to mako himself
clearly understood by the court and jury, I
should not SO long have tresrassed upon
your time and patience. Come forward,
Mr.. Harris, and be sworn.
So forward comes the witness, a fat.
shufFy old man, ''leetle" corned, and took
his oath with an air.
Chops Harris, we wish you to tell all
about the riot that happened the other day
at Captain Rice's, and as a good deal Of
time has already been wasted in circumlo>
cution, we wish you 10 be commodious, md
at the same time as explicit az possible.
Harris.-'Adzactly,'-g giving The lawyer
knowing wink, and at the same time
clearing his throat "Captain Rice. he gin
a treat, and cousin Sail billiard, she came
over 10 our house and axed me if my wife
moutn't 60. lnId cousin Sally billiard
that my wife was poorly, being as she hat
touch Of the rheumatics in The hip, and
the big swamp was in the road, anc the big
swamp was up, for there had been hep of
rain lately, but howsomever, as il was she,
cousin Sally billiard, my vile she mutt CO.
Well cousin Sally billiard then axed me it
Nose he moun't 60. told cousin Sally
billiard that he was the foreman of the crap,
and the crap was smartly in the grass; but
howsomever, as it was she, cousin Sally
billiard, Nose he mout GO
Chops in the name Of common sense,
Mr. Harris what do you mean by this rig
marolei
Wiiness.--Capt. Rice, he gin a treat,
and cousin Sally Dlltdr she came over to
our house and axed mo if my wife she
month"; 60. told cousin Sally billiard -
Chops.-Stop sir, il you please; we don't
want to hear any thing about your cousin
Sally Dillaird and your wife; tell US about
the fight at Rice's.
Witness.-We'I will, sir If you will let
me.
Chips well, sir, 60 on.
Witness.-WelI Captain Rice, he gin
treat, and cousin Sally billiard, she come
over to our house and axed me if my wife
she moutn't 60
Chops.-There it is again; witness, please
to stop.
Wi:ness.-Wsll, sir, what do you want!
Chops.-We want 10 know about The fight