Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, W.T. [i.e. Wis.]) 1843-1844, 1844-09-28
COAL SkETCH OF
JONATHAN.
BY JAMES N GooDBuE.

the very creature Of experiments and eXpedi-
en,s, He EXPERIMENTS from the cradle TO the
coffin. No matter what kind OF a cradle
rocked his Infancy; if he can haven't a cradle Of
new pattern, or fud one invented, he - rea-
dy 10 rock his first born in it, If life pre-
serving coffin were Invented. he won!d aImos;
be- impatient TO "kick the bucket" himself, for
the sake Of launching in it; or If wild comet
could be broken into harness, he would risk
his neck il the car drawn By it. If a patent
world in staring capitals; if Durham bulls.
Baden corn, Berkshire swine, India r;b5er O.
vercoats. Brandrelh's pills, Rohan potatoes,
Nesmerism, mammoth newspapers. steam
plows. casl.ron ora.oFs. or any o;her marvel
Gus ihing--ihe odder the betier-baits the
hook OF novelty. jonathan is the gudgeon 10
swallow il--hook and line. He scorhs the
beaten track. He eschews all precedent -
The yankee Of Connecticut, will not hesitate
10 build him lille coasling vessel, Of mod
del as yet uRirIed. load it with commodities OF
merchandise before uuheard Uf--and sail in
seas before unknown to commerce, il pulsa'
Of new market Tor his notions. The Sucker
u i'll yoke his oxen--or If he has ox.collars TO
make the experiment with, he will gear his
oxen to his wagon and start off with load Of
"bakin'' Or apples for Chicago or Galena-:
no, b. any : al, no, this coasing will never
do for him. lie steers across the unlracked
praine, guided nor'h~arl by one blue island
grove after notwithstanding TO The most nov.
ell expediens for crossing cTeehs-sometmes
e7ea taAiog every part aud parcel Of his freight
and wagon across stream separated -nend-
ing his acal ius when broken, with degree
Of ingenuity that nothing but necessity could
possibly suggesi-nniIi at length he has eros
sed the sea Of solid pillows ami arrived in his
destined port. He too plleE his own manner
is sor, of a sailor. and enbarks again for his
home; freighteI with cargo of salt; or per-
chance with patent piows and patent thrasnng
machines or some Other untitled speculation.
II jonathan dances, he dances villa all his
might: il be prays, he pays powerfully; 4 he
swindes. he goes the whole figure. If he
joins a temperance society, he goes il with
rush. If he goes for a "moral REFORM" he
runs the thing directly into Shakcrism. He is
equally Jealous in a nab Or campmeeiing-
at horse race or ia arevigal. Whatever ball
Jonathan rolls, his motto is.
This ball | roll,
With all my SOUL.
The American loves change, motion, pro-
erosion. If he could have his own way. he
wor lofce the annual revolution Of the sea.
80 through 10 one month. He loves the
CHATTER and rits.o Of machinery; and would
gladly gear The solar system with bands and
trnnne heads and make great roaring iacio-
ry of The Universe. jonathan hates delays;
he viii have things Stirring. If he has no
steamboat, TO launch he vii! white siicS
with all his might. II he plants tree. he is
restless ill he can ga, the fruit Of il. II he
plants an acorn ot 4 ci'y, he will look TO see
spung up, by the next morning., al oak or a
i.oudon. lie loves io'have even,s cIowdiag
each other; aud he rams 10 meet them; so that
they fly past him like mies;ones meeting an
express. lie thinks thlI Napoleon was a pre'-
~ smart eu'erprising man for an hahGn!!
Not satisfied vita The speed Of the high met
lied Virginia courser, lineaily descended from
Flying Chiders" aud ECLIPSE" and the
most notable stock Of England. he seeks
cross with .,Abdailah" and the foal Of he feet
desert barb. Disconcn'cd with the speed Of
the locomotive CO.., he arxioes.y desires cross
Of Electricity with the "lron horse aad
would gladly domes'ica;e and breed for the
harness. pure blooted forkod lightning. Nay;
he would never Re content 'iil he could liter
ally fash thoughts into stirring actions; and EN-
bryo conceptions Of the mind, into mature
pUy steal creations.
The Yankee is every way the aoliPode CT
the Chioaman. Your Chiaaman, is sort Of
admon vegetable As onions and catbages are
the same 10 all generations, SO ale lhe Celes-
iials with their comical queues. Their cos.
tune, language aud habits, are as fixed as the
drapery and language of the sun.ilowers.-
The Chinaman seems to be the original gran
he formation. the primitive under stratum Of
the human race, The Yankee, is the fine rich
allcyium. deposited from the alr,ion and de-
cav Of a thousand races ard empires of men,
here upon the delta OF the stream Of Time; GET
mina,ing into PROLIFIC luxurance. embryo arts
and inventions ard seeds Of science, that haze