Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1844-12-03

OF H. Ill give her a bit OF my mind. Why
did she let me take nomination. She tod
me not, | know; do believe she told me
only 10 make me take it. If she had advi-
sed me 10 take it she knows wouldn't; no.
thing but contrariness in these women. It's
all Ter tault-i,'s always her fault-somebo-
dy else is continually getting me into a
'scrape.'
'And then,' added Stubs savagely, when
I've done correcting the old woman there's
got to be spankade. III rouse out every
one of the children. III spank 'em till /
am tired and do fathers duty by them.
They've been neglected the whole of this
campaign, and III begin TO be paternal right
off the reel.'
'Well.' continued Stubs in softened
tone, s there's always a comfort for married
folks.-There's somebody at houe that you
can blow up when you we a mind to, and
they can't help themselves. Strangers
wont take it when you feel sassy: but lis
the boundy duty of Mrs. Ssubbs 10 listen and
not to throw things "a, me. Every body ISM,
liable TO slappage; but it's never lost upon
the little Siubb's--it it isn't due now they
can take it on account. All, domestic felt
city is one of the greatest things that was
ever found out, especially when you are not
elected. Home, sweet home-one can
have a row at home, and IT'S nobody's busi-
ness but your own
There's one thing certain at any rate,
said Slubbs, on the following morning, as
he poked The newspapers with the election
returns into the stove; 'l've done with poll
tics. | don't like being called kangaroo;
and cannlbal, and all sorts of haze names.
I've been peppered quite enough for one
while in that way. And another thing
Pm tired of forking out for other peoples
amusement. When mans ticket, as they
call it, he is pro bono publico--the public
bone every thing he's got. Money--oh,
yes-money for professions, money for
flags, money for meetings, money for dock
yments-money for newspape money,
money all the time. But that's not enough
If you're 'on the t:ckel'-you must work
like horse bcsides-run round the town
and scamper over the country-ge,,'up ear
| ly, go to bed late, AID never get no dinner
have to keep cold po,aties in your peck
ct, and eat 'eni us you 60. Ketch one bat
cold atop Of the other bad cold, till YOU rt
as hoarse as the man with an oyster cart
of rainy night And then when you fee
bad, but tell whoppers 10 keep up ,hei
spirits. And at last, when your pocket
are empty; when you're as lean as grey
hound. and croak like raven-when you
business is goneaato rack and ruin, VIII,
then-you're not elected, and are set dow
as used up. That's the finish.
1--we, had talk with Mrs. STUDIES abou
it-we've made ~ -and now | am goin,
10 elect myself to the office of mindIng m
own affairs, and looking after my owl
shop. Me and Mrs. Siubbs are the Unite
States, and am TO be President thereof
The children are TO be the people, the
are the ror populi, and are to hurrah an,
vote sor me a, every election. Our candle
light professions shall be Up end dowl
stalGs--We'il have town meeting ever,
day at dinner. and find our own Ioayes AM
fishes. 'Pon my word, now that me ant
Mrs. Stubs have concluded not to have
hard words any more, If don't begin te
think that TO be beaten in an election, is
sometimes Just about the best thing tina,
could happen TO fellow. IT sorts of settles
him down-pu,s notions out Of his head
makes him sleep without dreaming, and
sends him about his business. | feel all
the better Of it already. And the little
STUDIES shall have cent apiece all round,
this very afternoon.