The Woodstock age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1844-1845, 1844-09-12
SOLOMON REESE
FIRST BOOK OF CHRONICLES
FROM BARNARD.


FROM BARNARD.
|. Now it came to pass in the year of
our Lord one thousand eight hundred and
forty-two that it was proclaimed among
the good citizens of Barnard, from the ris-
ing of the sun to the going down thereof,
that the Democratic party were dictated 10
by a certain clique of designing persons.
2. The first cause prime mover and sus-
tainer, of the aforementioned proclama-
ton was person who styles himself the
great original OF all the Jackson men Of
Barnard, and is now known among the
sojourners in the land as an apOstaie and
coon.
3. And it came to pass in the succeed
ing year, at regular meeting ofthe DEM
ocratc party resolution was passed, de-
caring unanimously that the rumor before
spoken of put in circulation by this "old
Jackson man" was wholly destitute of truth
and without foundation.
4. Therefore the spirit of iniquity was
cast out from among the Cabinet into a
herd ofSwine, of which herd the wisest
person in Swineville is said to be the faith
er, and the "old Jackson man" the god
father
g. Now it came to pass in the year Of
the Independence of the United States of
America the sixty.eigh,h, these two notable
leaders gathered their herd together, and
for the purpose of more effectually dietat-
ing the great coon party of Barnard, form
ed what is now called the Coon CABINET.
7. And this coon cabinet most devou,!y,
follow the example set by the two great lea
ders, which is to stand about the corners
and in public places and prate of their own
goodness and honesty and of the wicked
ness Of their neighbors.
7. Moreover you may see them pass
from door to door to propagate the lies
their tongues have framed, and make most
hel|ish meals Of good mems names.
8, Wherefore the frank and file' even
now CRY out, deliver US from the dictation
Of this apostate, the "old Jackson man"
and the "wlse man from the East" and
from their clique, the Coon CABINET.
0. But the team" with one consent an
swer nay: we are just cleverly organized
and "have yet to learn" that i. is sale to
trust the ''two and thrippenny scala"ags"
and that it is not the best thing for the par
ty to have a Coon CABINET.
10. And it came to pass that when the
leaves began to fade, this coon Cabinet
gathered themselves together for the purpose
OF being fed from the lips of this wise man
from the East, surnamed Seymour.
II. And this government office holder
with the pewter pin under his right eye
waxed exceedingly wroth and indignant
because of the interference of government
Office holders in the elections, and because
Of their exercising the free and universal
suffrage granted them by the constitution,
~. Wherefore his hearers also became
exasperated and in their anger devised
measures to punish all Office holders with
a just punishment, who shall dare touphold
the great republican doctrines of Jefferson
and Jackson.
10. But this government office holder
in his frey harangue forgot to tell his hear
ers the great and lasting benefits he had
rendered the coon cause, while he was per-
ambulating the town last spring in the ca
paci,y o! town lister.
Ia. Moreover he did not tell his hearers
Of his constant and zeaous' efforts, as one
,f the coon town committee to do all in
1s power to secure the election Of coon
own representative.
Is. Notwithstanding these things were
rot spoken of by Seymour the people know
hem to be true and speak Of them one to
mother from day to day.
l6 Now verify. verify I say unto you,
he "good substantial" sojourners among
hese hills have an eye upon these fellows
md will closely watch them and their
CooN CABINET. Barnard.