Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1843-07-19
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How lIke Old North the, sound;
The LADIES MAN.-But there is vet
one especial creeping thing, at whose
sight my gorge rises. Ugh! Meg with
the.many ieet,an earwig and a wiggling !
wormi
This is your fine little 'cocli-chafer, |
with pin through his tail;' your hero !
OF almond soap, OF dangling breast pin,
OF the shining shoe. Tie is a ladies man
1 wish them joy Of the animal. lie is
OF king Charles breed, or know not
how he was born and bred. | have pro-
posed to myself his being shed feebIy IN
some latter spring. and forced under a
glass God knows, there are some mys-
teries Of nature we cannot lathom.
There will he sit a whole day long on
an ottoman, with his companions, a tom
cat and a curly cur devising grins. lie
Is fond Of essences; you will nose
him. as Hamlet says Of poor old Poloni-
us, 'as yon go up the gallery
he knows all about needles and pins,
aud mother ofpearl. To him a work
box THAT everlasting riddle) is no eng
ma. Doth he not hearken to oracles, OF
Berlin woods, OF petticoaI ends, hath he
not prohIted OF milliners, concerning
hounces, and collars, and sprIgs; and the
deep things OF bustles, are they not his;
doth he not dote on bodkins and negoti
ate tkimbles?
lie pens stanzas about bracelets and
torget-me nots on blue aud orange paper
in albums. Those 'ohsr and sahsn and
that forrest OF exclamation points, are
they not all his9
lie is pea or pipe stopper, mighty
pulled up with wind yea,
lie will boslride the gossancr
That wantons the idle summer air
And yet not fall; so light is vanity
lie is winter fly,a spider that hangs
about draperies.
tie is evermore talking Of 'Ihe ladies'
| wonder what minikin uses he serves
thom for and what they love so dearly,
ard what they hate, and where they will
stay, and when they will be at home TO
every BODY meaning himself,I suppose,
and the reason why Miss Windlestraw
refused to waltz all evening at Mrs. Mea
dows' ball us to him no secret: 'he could
an if he would
1t is hardly credible, Coul Goppagh,
that such a thing as this should put up
his nose at me, and firstly, secondly and
thirdly, with treble pipe, il good set
terms. tiout at tobacco, and demand me,
after all these,why smoke2 Look you
how he reasons me. with finger or his
palm and ring thereon.
Come then, quietly, TO this corn err
where these ladies' may not hear, and
you shall be tired OF my reasons ere VIC
part. All, there he goes first, second,
third.
Befriend me, Plato, son of Sophroni.
Gus, be mine aid inspire me, sprll Of the
Stagyrite!
In the first place, then, sir, it is none
of your business. In the second place 1
smoke because | choose it. How do YOU
relish my logic, Whey(ace Thirdly,
smoke because it keep, off all wasps and
md Ses and such like minute vermin and
suck eIoods as you. Are you answered
YETI or will you tempt me further till /
press you with such arguments az they
use with Aeas in Spain?
And what right glorious burst is
this about.
WOMEN AND LADIES Ladies' sir.
Oh, you are there, are you. OF course
must fling old YpsiIanti out Of doors
and hear this lisPing Adon pirate Of the
ladies'
Confound your slang. Are there no
women now days9 ! begin to fear.
never hear Of one. Yet with that ten.
der word woman had filled my heart.
The sound OF il stole ever in upon my
solitude like the first sight Of spring in
tho green woods, with the voice Of
streams let loose, and the linnet in the
Dough. | remember summer meadows
where they shook the hay; and smiles
are registered in my spirit that revive
with the green light Of morning through
the leaves. And there are signs that
settled deep and have kin with the sha
ded noon and the ftful wind in the Syca-
more. In the cottage corner | have shed
tears like the abundant dew OF Nav. for
love is holy in woman's breast and
Pshaw! a=e you there yet! ladies p
Pray, sir, what king Of commodity may
they be that sou bring me here to offer
IN exchange for my pipe! / cannot sec
in that stiff collar Of yours, nor in that
Ipithiess laugh-the ghost ola concealed
grin nor ia that poor lathy arm, nor
that GPindled leg, nor in that perennial
chatter, void Of manly feeling, thought,
or hearty Joy, anything Tor which a wo-
man Should look in man. lf these be
what goo offer me, IN Gods name get
them out Of my sight,and delight the Ia.
dies forever mOrei Away from me Ut
terry aHd make glad among hounces, and
h1tter among ribands, and wind Up thy
nnapPreeisGed body "a pards az tape aad
fnL(a Ror 80 4 a m 40f 90. ,.,,,.-.