Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1843-10-10
THE CENSUS IN ALABAMA
BY chicken MANI or lS4O

"S'S e"Pioteu 10 tdke Tue laSt census, was
very difficult work. The popular i'm
preston that tremendous tax would soor
follow the minute investigation Of the pri.
Snie affairs of the people, caused the cen
sus taker to be viewed in no better igh,
than that Of tax-gaiherer; and the conse.
quence was, that the information sought
by him was either held entirely, or given
with great reluctance The returns there
fore made by the marshals exhibited We.
~ imperfect view OF the wealth and in
dustrial progress of the country. In some
portions of the country the excitement
against the unfortunate officers-who were
known us the +" chicken mrn "--nade it al
most dangerous Cor them to proceed with
the business OF taking the census; and Bit
Ter were the taunts, threats and abuse
which they received on all hands, but most
particularly from the old women Of the
country. The dear old souls could not
bear to he catechised abou, the produce of
their looms. poultry yards, and dairles; and
when they did " come down" upon the
unfortunate inquistors, it was with force
and volubility that was sure 10 leave an
impression. We speak from experience
and feelingly on this subject; for it SO hap
pened that the marshal OF the Southern
District of Alabama, proposing especial
confidence in our ability, invested us one
day with all the powers Of assistant mar
shul, and arming US with the proper guam
tity Of blanks, sent us forth 10 count the
noses OF all the men, women, children and
chickens, resident upon those nine hundred
square miles Of rough country which con-
siitute the county Of Talapoosa. Glorious
sport ! thought we; but it didn't turn out
so. True, we escaped without any drub-
bings, although we came unpleasantly near
catching n dozen, and only escaped by
very peculiar knack we have Of "slidlng
out;" but then we were quizzed, laughed
at, abused and nearly drowned. Children
shouted, . Yonder goes the chicken manw
Men said, ayes, d--n him, he'll be af-
ter the tares soon:"-and the old women
threatened, if he came to enquire about
their chickens, +" to set their dogs on him."
while the young women observed, "'hey
didn't know what man wanted to be so
pertic lar about gals ages for, without he
was gwine a courtin'." We bave some
"reminiscences ofour official peregrinations
that will do to laugh at now, although the
occurrences with which they are connect
ell were, at the time, anything but mrth-
inspiring 20 US.
We rode up one day to the residence OF
a widow rather past the prime of lte-Just
that period at which nature supplies most
abundantly the oil which lubricates the
hinges of the female tongue land hitchng
10 the fence, walked into the house.
Good morning. madame said we, in
our usual bland, and somewhat insinuating
manner.
'Mornin',' said the widow grufIly.
Drawing our blanks from their case, we
proceeded-'l am the man. madame, that
inkes the census, and
The mischief you arel' said the old
,ermagnant, Yes, Eve hearn Of you; Par
son w. told me you was coming, and |
told him jst what tell you, that if you
said cloth, soap ar Chickens to me,
I'd set the dogs on We. Here, Ball here,
the call and laid down on the steps. Now
continued the old she savage, them's the
severest dogs in this country. Las, week
Bill Stonecker's two year old steer jump
ped my yard fence, and Bull and Pomp TUX
hun by the throat, and they killed him be-
fore my boys could break 'em loose, to
save the world
Yes, ua'am' said we, meekty, Bull
and pomp seem to be very fine dogs
You may well say that; what tells
them to do they do-and if was sick them
II th,,,3I hin,
up afore YOU could say Jack Roberson.-
And its list what III do, if you try to pry
into my consarns. They are none of your
business, nor Van Buren's nuther. reckon.
Oh! old Van Buren,! wish had you here,
YOU old rascal! I'd show you whal-i'd-
I'd make Bull and Pomp show you how TO
be sendin' out men to take down what lit
Ito stuff peoples got, jist to tax it, when It's
taxed enough already
All this time we were perspiring through
fear Of the fierce guardians of the old wild
dow's portal. AT length, when the widow
paused, we remarked that az she was de-
termned not to answer questions about the
produce of the farm, we would just set
down. the age, sex and complexion OF
each member of her family.
No SIGH thing-you'Il do no such
thing said she; I've got five in family,
and that's all you get from me- Old Van
Buren, must have heap TO do. the drat'
ted old villyan, to send you 20 take down
how old my children is. I've got five IN
family, aud they are all between five and
a hundred years old, they are a plagu,
sight winter than you, and whether they
are he or she is none Of your consarns.'
We told her we would report her TO the
marshal, and she would be fined, but il
only augmented her wrath
Yes! send your Marshal, or your Van
Buren,, here, if you'te hap off to-let 'em
come-let Mr.. Van Buren, GOMEZ look
ing rs savage as Bengal tigress) - Oh
| wish he would come and her nostrls
.lilaied, und her eyes gleamed-'Td cut
MS head off =
THAT might kill him. we venturcd to
remark, by way of a joke.
Kill him! xii. him--oh-if lad hun
here by the gears reckon | ,ronfd Kill
him. A pretty fellow to be eating his VT
ills out'n gold spoons tina, poor peoples