Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1843-11-16
ECON Ae Nep orleans Pieagsae.
THE WAY TO MAKE A rETolALLEI

and his stock IS not more noted Tor lis va
riety than of the superiority Of the sever
al articles which he keeps on hand. His
per ceniage on the sale of Monongahela
whiskey throughout the year would, by o
man Of moderate notions, be reconed q
liberia! incoming. Customers came Sc
quick to purchase. that 10 save the trou-
bic OF too frequent a recurrence TO the
barrel, he has been in the habit o. keep
ing sample bottle in the store, always
full or partially SO, for their trial and
inspection. He had found for lnng
time that the contents of the sample bottle
decreased very rapidly, daily and in q
manner at first very misterIously. lie
soon learned, however, that Sampson,
the negro who staid in the store, was any
thing but ashIng,onian, and that he
tried the strength ofihe Monongahela of.
tener than the whole Of the Gust omers.
DESTROYS to know his conscientiousness
were as large as his alimentiveness, he
said to him on Monday sen night, 'Samp-
son, how is It that the whskey in the
sample bottle diminishes so fast? Why,
il has TO be filled daivl'
'Clar Co massa, doesn't know said
Sampson, looking as serious as convert
ed sinner at a camp meeting, but thinks,
massa, it is carried off by de princerples
OBJ wot white folks call waporation.'
20, you do, Sampson ? said Mt. c.
Il does serlain, massa, said Sampson,
"cause tells you DAT ere waporalion's
right strong; gosh, it amt lett drop of
hard cider in the country. thinks ii
dat wot makes de whiskey so scarce,
and not de temperance movement, as dey
call IT,
well, then, Sampson said Mr.. G. fill
the bottle now, and will cork it so tight
as 10 prevent evaporation
'Es, sa,' said Sampson.
He filed the bottle, his master corked
it evaporation tight, and again it was pl,.
ced on the shelf. Again on Tuesday
morning it was decreased considerably in
quantity, and still more towards neon.
well, Sampson, said Mr.. G. find the
whiskey still rapidly decreasing. How
do you account for it now I?
wa wall, il be berry hard TO 'splaiD,
msssa,' said Sampson, 1t be one OBJ dose
'sterious disappearances wot niggers cant
count for and wat sometimes puzzles
white folks, | tell you
But what is your opinionl' sad Mr..
G..
'Wal.ar. tiEks,' said Sampson to tell
goramighl'y lruf, that de rats be dlinkin
II. Ger dey hasn't joined de temperance
'aety, as knows on
Yes said Mr.. c. 'but when it would
ee, down at low as tae GENRE of the bot
lie, how would the rats manage to get in
tbemr
yah yah YAH said Sampson, but,
SURPRISINGLY suddenly his examinations,
fle added, look heah, mass,, | was just
sgoin' to say as how you was green.
Now, does you link as how dem ere rats
wat you sees bout de- store and wot's so
much in de corner-does you tink, | axes,
dat SEEM so many taken juleps on de
suction prancerple, dat dey doesE'. know
&c use o5 q straw! Wal, reckon dey
dose, massa.'
Nv ell, then, Sampson said Mr.. G. If
lDt SGtllHlt OOttiC OO B'NoSi'T
ed from the rats or evaporation, must
only submit to the loss, and fill it whene-
yer it is empty. Fill ii now and leave il
again on the shelf, and care no wheaih-
er you cork il or not.
Mr.. C.. told an acquaintance Of his, an
apo,hecary, Of SIMPSONS partially for
the sample bottle, end asked him if he
could not give hum some decoc,lon tn
mix with it, which, while it would not
vlsibly alter its co,or or taste, would
prove less agreeable to Sampson'ssystem
Monongagela. The apolhecsry told HIM
he could, and, on the Tuesday before
last, he furnished rhe required prepara.
ton. Sampson was sent out on an errand
in the early part Of me day, and in his
absence the obnoxious ingredients were
introduced into the whskey. 10 give
Sampson better scope, when he return
ed, hrs msstsr went out aid staid away
long enough TO give the sample-tasting
Sampson fu play at the bottle. When
he Tesarued, he noticed strange end Pc
cuiar rolling OF Sampson's eyes; his lips
were the color Of stale venison, and he
had all the singular Characteristic in APP
pearance OF "a sick niger. Mr.. C..
managed to keep him pretty busy, and all
though appearing not 10 notice him, close
watched his movements.
'Wo,' he'd shout. raising his leg up a.
gainst his stomach, but still endeavoring
to conceal his pain from his master and
again he would excaim, 'ah eohl wo-
o goromighty'! and he would brace his
belly round with his hands and arms. AT
length, finding himself growing worse
that there was no chance ftbe pain abat.
ing, he threw himself on the floor and
roared out, ooh, massa, massa, dis chhd's
gone nigger-oh I! a.ahi o. oh y
why, what's the matter, Sarnpson 2
said Mr.. c. appearing to be suddenly as
tonished at The state Of Sa@pson's bowels.
s0hs massa, massa, sadd Sampson, 'ah!
o-o-oh massa, Use a gone chicken; all
ee 2 and he wegled about on the floor
like pea on grIddle, his eyes revolving
like the beacon of a light house, and his
color changing like dying dolphin.
why, what's the matter with you 7
said his master.
30, doesn't know rnassa, said Samp'
son, but guess Use got dc Tyler grippe
and de inluenZar, and tho black vomii