Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1843-05-04
This | couldn't stand-so we Quarrelled


This | couldn't stand-so we quarrelled
and parted.
next tried my hand at the Organ.
Grinding, for while, and may sny
made out pretty well. IL is PLAIN,
straig forward business, and requires
no particular abilities. You can get a
mus ic-mii for a mere song, and, to put
il in order, you have but to open the
works, and give them three or four smart
raps with hammer. II improves the
tone of tho thing, for business purposes,
more than you can imagine. Ih's done
you have only to stroll along, with the
mill on your back, until you see ian-bark
IN the street, and a knocker wrapped up
in buckskin. Then you stop and grind ;
looking as if you meant to stop aud giind
until doomsday. Presently "A window
opens, and somebody pitches you a SIX
pence, with u request to "hush up and
20 on" Sc. ! am aware that some
grinders have actually afforded to ego
on" for this sum but for my part, ]
found my account III never going OF un-
der shilling.
AT this occupation did good deal ;
but, sorehow, | was not quite satisfied,
and so. finally, abandoned it. The truth
is, | Iaborcd under the disadvantage oi
having no monkey-and streets are so
muddy-and the populace are so impert-
nent with so many dirty little boys.
was now out of employment for some
mouths, but ut length succeeded, by din'
of great interest, in procuring situation
in the Sham Post. The duties, here,
are simple, and not altog ether unproiiia-
Bile. For example Very early in the
morning had 10 make up my packet OF
sham letters. Upon the inside of each
of these | had TO scrawl few lines-on
any subject which occurred to me as
sufficiently ysterious-signlng all The
cpislles Tom Dobson, or Toby Tomp-
kins, or anything in that way. Having
folded and sealed all, and stamped them
with sham posl.marks-New Orleans,
Bengal, Botany Bay, or any other place
u great way Oft set out. forthwith,
upon my daily ronte, as if IN very
great hurry. always called at the big
houses to deliver the letters, and receive
the postage. Nob"dy hcsiiates at pay
ing for lcttor-especiaIly for double
one-people are such lools-and it was
no trouble, on my part, to get round a
corner before there was time TO open the
cpistles
The worst Of this profession, was, that
had to walk so much and SO fast aud
so frequently 10 vary my route. Be
sides, | had serious scruplcs of con-
science. Ican't bear to hear innocent
individuals abused and the way the
whole town took to cursing Tom Dobson
and Bobby Tompkins, was really awful
to hear. washed my hands of the
matter in disgust.
Ny eighth and last speculation has
heen in the Cat-growng way. | have
found this n most pleasant and lucrative
business, and really, no trouble at ALL
The country, it is well known, has be-
come infested with cats-so much so OF
late, that petition for relief, most m.
merously md respectfully signed, was
brought before the legislature at its last
memorable session. The assembly, a'
this epoch, was unusually wclliniormed,
ard having passed many other wise aud
wholesome enactments, It crowned all
with the Cn,-Act. In its original form,
this law offered II premium for cat-hedds,
(fourpcnce a-piece) but the Senate sue
ceedcd in amending the main clause, So
as to substitute the word stalls" for
"hcads." This amendment was so obvi-
ously proper, that the House concurred
in it nem. con.
As soon "a the Governor had signed
The bill, | invested my whole estate in
the purchase of cats and kittens, AT
first | could only afford to feed them
upon mice, (which arc cheap but, at
lrng,h found it my best policy to give
them mock.turtle. Their tails, at the
legislature price, now bring me in good
income for have discovered Il way,
in which, by means of Nlacassar oil, |
can force three crops in year and,
somehow or other, the old cats get ac-
customcd to the thing, and would rather
have the appcndages cut OF than other
wise. | consider myself, therefore, a
made man, and am bargaining fer n
country seat upon the Hudson.