Richmond daily Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1842-1861, 1843-10-28
PUNcH's LIVES OF EMINENT scoUNDRELs.
PROENf.

PROEM
Let be granted that whoever commits robbery and muir
der j. scoundc and consequently that the more robbery
ana murder he commits, the greater scoundre he n Now
We nope the reader will not be startled entering
our list OF seoundes, individuals whom he may have been
taught to call heroes. Without ado let rs measure
pens with Plutarch.
SCOUNDREL THE FIRST
ms notorious thief the Of Philip king Of Ma
cedonia, who thief before him. and Of Oympias his
queen. 49,
According some himself aud his mother (who appear.
been deronged among the number he the son
of Jupiter.
Alexander had the advantage of certain modern and mi
nor heroes OF his stamp, who have mostly come To The gal
lows IN being able to read and Lysimachus laugh,
hm his Aphabetagammadelta. His finishing tutor was the
philosopher Aristotle who instructed him how 10 fight with
syogsns but that not the Of fighting for him
lie gave while boy. strong proof OF his disregard
OF his own neck-a quality so indispensable gentlemen
the predatory profession In the presence of Philip and
the whole court the great risk part of his person
ne tanned, by his personal prowess the wild horse Buce
phags afterwards the "Brown Bess" bis Dick Turpn
When he was little bigger, the ey age sixteen,
he commenced his first offence Philip gone nlaraud
ine @ Byzantun and had left young AI<xander in COM
mand OF the rest Of his gang The Medari whose terri
tory Philip had appropriated, beginning symp
toms of wishing have their again Alexander nj
the head Of select band desperadoes attacked took
and plaged their city, turning inhabitants out of house
and home, and Of his rogu.s their places
lie next went thievng with his respectable father TO
Greece and CheTonca, where the Greeks made stand
against the Macedonian bandit, committed daring and
successful outrage breaking the sacred band or Diys
ION Of the Thcbans and sending them the righabout
Ga the death of Philip who was stabbed by one of his
ownielows. IN which transaction his hopeful son was ss
pccted OF having been concerned Alexander became king
OF the cuttroats- They extreme state Of in
ubordnaon but he reduced them reason By knocking
some of the most refractory the head lie then led
them on HOUSEKEEPING expedition against Thebes. The
lheoans Directing stand and deliver stood without de-
livering against him the field. They had better have
let him have their money quietly for he took their
He cut six thousand of them pieces the ground to be-
IN usith Fhaul a 81. 80, IL
dered, for slaves.
The Greeks, upon this perceived that Alexander was
great hero. They formed themselves therefore into one
large band of ireebooters and he nothing 10th marched
at the head OF them into Asia.
His merry comprised thirty thousand footpads and
hve thousand mounted highwaymen. He provided him
self with than months paw for their mainten
being of opinion that the who paws is base and
intending that they should pay themselves what they
stole.
His grand series Of atrocities now commenced
AT the battle of Grancus, his first, he destroyed twenty
four thousand five hundred men, losing only thirty
his own rascals.
He took Hacamassus and Miotus by storm-a military,
operation which consists in burning, demolition the ndis
crmnaie slaughter OF and children other
proceedings for which civilians usually hanged. He
slbtued the Of Asia Minor committing in so doing
number OF sangunary crimes which has been exactly
calculated.
lie defeated Darius, the Persian king who withsood his
aggression ssus in Cicia On this sion he left
hundred and ten thousand victims dead the ground be-
sides mangling and Gripping least many more for
lie In addition to this murderOus exploit he stole an enor
nous amount OF properly and made prisoners of Dariuss
family, whom, it due him state he treated with
great cviy for ruian, letting them break their hearts in
quiet without killing abusing them.
Alter the battle, he stole properly Damascus and
kidnapped other women and children. Then he took
Tyre after months siege: and by way of indemni
flying himself for his trouble, butchered thousand of the
| citizens in cold blood.
At Arbea after wholesale murder on the grandest scale
he finally routed the army of Darius whereby the whole of
Persia became his prey. Hereupon his first act was to
break into the kings palace Susa and steal take and
carry away money Jewels, wearing apparel and furniture
70 the value Of tOry-fye thousand talents.
lie rayaged Media Syria Egypt and the whole Of
India, IN which last country his spoaons and massacre.
were nearly extensive those Of a gentleman named
Bull have been since When he had length robbed as
much he could he Is reported have ccd because he
could rob
Alexander did be hanged; but having plenty
OF rope given him, he IN conformity with adage was
his Jack ketch. His gang being laden with all the
spoil they could carry he retired Babylon: where like
Eminent Scoundrels who prosperous he set a.
work enjoy himself, by INDUCING in all kinds of uxr
and dissipation. Here, after short of hard yin
he got very drunk enc line day, caught fever in conse-
quence, and died. aged thry.to not at oil regretted by
anybody who knew him.
LatteTy indeed, he had given greatly drinking and
and day. IN siotc OF icmented liquor committed the
mdcs, murder of the many nc guilty Of by running
his friend Chus through the body On another occasion
being psy Inc burnt down the city Of Perscpolis as Tie
little boys say, "tor 4 lark
Arson robbery and murder thus the deeds which
gained him, the surname OF Great
Letus consider the exploits OF Alexander as well as we
can numerically. Besides mulutudes which have not been
enumerated he killed, have SEEN of his fellow crea
lures