Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1843-04-14

now manifests itself in the masculine bust
ness of politics, and have got married, as
sub-treasuries and the like are set up, by way
Of experiment.
There may be others who have rushed in
to this state Of felicity because they we're
asked, or did not know what 10 do with them
selves, or feared to do still worse, or knew
not how "to bear the ills they had," or mar
ried because they were getting old, or yet
again because they were young, or las the
coroner's juries say "in a state of mental
alienation" or, in short, for reasons which
nobody could ever divine. There may, we
say. be other classes of causes but the four
already enumerated embrace all but the mere
anomalies. Well, the result, as very exact
ly arrived at, is, of happy matches, just 16 {:
which makes precisely four apiece for each
Of the great divisions of the roll.
| tits, however, consolatory to see that there
are 5000 who are "tolerably happy -
that is, have forttude enough neither 10 hang
nor drown nor run away, or whom Christian
patience and the thought Of better world
supports. Besides these favored mortals,
there appear to be 8,404 who are "happy
at times possibly when asleep, or away
from home, or if they are deaf or their spouse
dumb, or such as are subject to fits of cata-
lepsy or other visionary states that at times
triumph over the real.
Cheerful as all the preceding facts are, we
come now, however, to the reverse of the
picture, the wrong side of the tapestry. No
mortal happiness is perfect. Wedlock itself
has its occasional crosses. Adam and Eve
are said to have their tiffs before they moved
out of paradise and located big survey"
somewhere on the Euphrates. Milton prais-
es marriage, but is known to have been much
hen-pecked. Cowper also expatiates upon
its delights; but, dying bachelor, must
have taken them only upon report. And
Campbell, while counting, wrote some very
pretty things on the same score, but lived to
marry shrew. In short, there must be
some unlucky marriages, if for nothing else
merely to make the other sort conscious of
their own extacies, or for the pupose of fur
nishlng exceptions enough to show that it was
impossible TO be married without being al
the very summit Of unvarying enjoyment
Thus it has, by this admirable and accurate
statistical inquiry, been demonstrated that
there are in the county of Lancaster some
rather ill-sorted matches, not exactly an
swering the description of being made in
heaven;" in word, 600 spouscs who are
perfectly miserable"
We come next to the results of wedlock in
a sense which may be called public and DO.
iIt'cal that is, governmentally and it has
been found, in the county of Lancaster, that
out OF the l5,64O cases by the wife while
there are jus, nine husbands who are Ter.
mll'ed 10 wear that garment which one must
not name in the presence of ladies. but to the
possession of which they all aspire.
So much for the married now for the un-
happy persons who have not yet Joined that
blessed companie."
Of unmarried adults of both sexes in Ian.
caster the whole number is not quite equal to
halt that Of the married a disproportion
which can only be accounted for BY the vio-
lent spirit of imitation which the sight of so
many examples of matrimonial enjoyment
must, produce. Seeing tins, it is only a
wonder that any body remains single there a
bit longer than is necessary for the prelimin-
airy operations in white satin, eggs, flour, su.
gar, and rose colored and scented notes,
with Cuplds adown the margin and peeping
from the corners. There are, it seems, Just
ii, Isl unmarried folks.
vi this number, no small part is, however,
Kept up by that ncorrigible sort, bent upon
being unhappy, the old bachelors, of which
guilty kind of people there are no less than
6,7o3. a painful and appalling amount of hu.
man wo, certainly. But il is al least COM
tort to see that there is far less sum Of this
self-infllcted wretchedness, or more virtue,
or more sense, or more of the marrying pro.
penslty Nbther that spring from love or
money! among the softer sex, or thatthe con-
sumption Of wives is swifier than that of hus-
bands, or that the demand and supply of the
former commodity are more Justly balanced.
In short, there are but forty mine old maids,
each, OF course, with an attendant cat or par
Il rot.
Of young ladies of all ages, the claim of
some Of whom to that distinction stands up
on the firm ground of length of title or pre-
scr'Ption or immemorial usage, the whole
number is given as 6,600. That of widows
is 4O4. while the disconsolate of the other
sex amount to 800.
Such is the mere muster. roll. or what the
French books on the Art Military call the
IF"So'e"es, duCicHt WdTIdT6s always
not little fatal, even when least bloody
To describe the more active operations
marchings and counter marchings, the feints,
the surprises, the coups de main, the seges,
the blockades, the attacks by echslon move
ments, the downright assaults, the routs, the
retreats, the mining and counter mining, the
calling in of auxiliary forces of mothers,
aun,s, and cousins, the parks of eye-artille-
ry, the musketry of closer fight. the hand-to.
hand work when it comes to the actual push
OF the bayonet, the signs, the vows, the
kneelngs. the tears, or at least the pocket
handkerchiefs that stand for them and then
the smiles more or less bewilching, the skill
full repulses. the languishings, the well.man-
aged disdala, the seeming involuntary squeez-
es, the well-studied confusions, the bushes
made by holding the breath, the ambuscadss
Of small favors, and the last ruinous victory
Of the extorted kiss-all this would be long,
not to speak Of the machiavelism of conf
dantes and waiting-maids, and the final d.
, pomacy Of those who draw deeds of setlle-
, ment and trust So. TO shorten all this. we