The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1843-09-18
TAKING THE CEN SUS.
A SCENE IN ALABAMA.


We rode up one day to the residence of widow
rather past the prime Of life-(ust that period at
which nature supplies more abundauty the oil which
lubricates the hinges of the female tongue )-and
hitchlng to the fence, walked into the house
Good morning, madam said we in our usual
bland and somewhat insinuating manner.
Mornin'," said the widow, grufiy.
Drawing our blanks from their case we proceed
ed-"l am the nan, madam, that takes the census
andr-
"The mischief you are ~ said the old termagant
eyes, Hve hearn Of you. Parson w. told me you
was coming, and told him jst what tell you-that
if you said CLOTH soap, chickens to me- I'd set
the dogs onye; here Bull here Pomp!" Two wolf
sh ours responded to the call of Bull and Pomp, by
coming to The door, smelling at our feet, tn slight
growl, and then laid down the steps. 'Nown
continued the old she savage, them IS the seyerest
dogs in this country. Last week Bill Stonecker's
two year old steer jumped my yard fence, an Bull
and Pomp TUX him by the tn oat and they killed him
aiore my boys could break 'em loose TO save the
word.n
" Yes, ma'am,' said we, meekly " Bull and Pomp
seem to be very fine dogs"
"fcu may " ell say that what tells then to do
they do-and II was TO sick them your old horse
yonder, they'd eat him up afore you could say Jack
Robertson. And its jst what shall do if YOU try
10 pry into my consarns. They are none of your bu-
siness, nor Van Burens mother, | reckon. oh, old
Van BambureL wish had you here, you old
cal! I'd show you what-Iid-l'd make Bull and
Pomp show you how 10 be sendin out men to take
down what little stuff peoples got list to tax it,
when its taxed enough a'readyip
All this time we were perspiring through fear Of
the fierce guardians of The old widows portal. At
length, when the widow paused, remarked that as
she determined TO answer questions about the
produce OF the farm, would Just set down the
age, sex, and complexion Of each member Of her
family
"No SIGH thing-you' do no SIGH a thing" said
she I've got five IN family, and that's all you'll git
from me. Old Van Buren, must have heap to do
the droited oil vilyan, to send you to take dow n
how old my children is. I've got five in family and
they are all between five and hundred Years old
they are all a plaguy sight whittier than YOU and
whether they are he She Of your consarns -
We told her we should report her to the Marshal
| and she would be fined, but 1t only augmented her
wrath.
" Yes send your Marshal or your Mr.. Van Buren,
here, II you're bad off to-let 'em come-let MIR. Van
buren, come, docking savage as a Bengal tgress
Oh, wish he mould come" and her nostrls dilated,
and her eyes CLEANED, 4" I'D cut his head off ~
" That might kill him." we ventured to remark,
by way Of joke.
"Kill him kill him-oh if had him here by the
years reckon | ,could Kill him. pretty fellow to
be eating his With outn gold spoons that poor PEG.
pies taxed for, and raisin' army get him made
king OF Ameriky-tbe audacious nasty sinking, old
/ scamp" She paused a moment, and then resumed,
And now, Jist put down what ! tell you that pa.
per, and don be telling no lies TO send to Washing
ton city. Jst put down Judy Tompkins, ageabo
woman, and four children-'
we objected ITO making any such entry, but the
od nag vowed that IT should be DONE TO prevent any
misrepresentation of her case. We however, were
pretty resolue, until she appealed to the couchant
wheps, Bull and Pomp. AT the first glimpse of their
teeth, our courage gave way and we made the entry
! IN bold hand across a blank schedule" Judy
| Tompkins, dgeabb woman, and four childrea
We no y begged the old lady to dismiss her canine
friends, that we might go out and depart: and forth
with mounting our old black, we determined to give
/ The old soul parting fire. Turning half round in
| order to face her, shouted
cod 'oman !"
! Who told you TO call me old 'oman, you longleg-
ged, Ratchet faced whelp, you' I'll make the dogs
take you oil that horse If you give any more sars.
| What do you want"
" DO you want to get married;D
"Not to you, il do"
Placing right thumb on the nasal extremity OF
our countenance, we said, You needn't be uneasy,
old 'un, on that score-though you might suit sore
legged Dick s. up our way, and should like to
know what to tell him he might count on if he come
down next Sunday !"
Here, Bull !" shouted the widow, sick him,
Pomp J! but we cantered of, unwounded, fortunately
by the fangs Of Bull and Pomp, who kept up the
chase long they could hear the cheering
voice OF their mistress" Slick Pomp-sick sick,
ST. ok him, Bull-suboy suboy suboy!'
AcoUiTrAL OF SHrPMAN-The trial of jacob
Shipman, the embezzing messenger between New
York aud Philadelphia, has resulted in verdict Of
aoqrttal, The N. Y. Commercial says "Tbc ac-
qotal appears to have been given solely the tech
meal ground that ShJ mans embezzlement was com
mitted at PhilsdeIph and therefore not within the
jurisdiction OF the court OF course The Jury infer
red that when Shpman received the gold, at the
Unoh Bank IN this city, he had not then conceived
l. 81 Il.