The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1843-01-30


time that not occupied by rending,n imagining
Of happiness too perfect 10 DO realized in this
world by day and by night alone or in company,
these visions were present with me, uniting me for
the actual duties Of fs,and rendering tho society and
amusen'ents which were so pleasant TO other young
people, utterly disinstefu TO me, had tic mostro-.
mantle ideas OF lave, but in danger Of feel
ing its influence. for exalted were my conceptions
orthe Oh ,rac,cr Of the being whom could lovc and
those with whom | associated fell so far below the
standard hud erected in my own mind, to create
no feeling stronger than dstnste for their society. The
circle in whirh moved was a gay one, and min
gled in it, amusemen,s with my companions, among
them but not Of them. was scnsi,ivcly alive TO rid
icuc, and the dread Of it induced me carefully 10 con
ceal whatever peculiar in my character or scnti
inents. But have often felt disgust almost nmoun
ting pain, on retiring from party, which, 10 my
sisters appeared to combine all that delightful.
At length all my romantic dreams realized.
'st)n visit 10 u friend, who resided in n"ighhor
Ing city. met young gentleman in whom, ut first
sight ret moro interest than had before expo
rienced for any human being lie seemed to realize
all my ideas of the perfectibity of human nature;
and his splendid person, his noble counenance appear
the vague but delightful visions which had formed the
subject Of so many of my day dreams, but which
scarcely hoped 10 meet in actual life Every sue
ceedng interview deepencd my regard for the nnia
bic stranger, and ut length loved him with all the fer
vor of an unpracsed heart, and ardent and 10
tally undiscplined Imagination Ny affection WAS
warmly returned, and within three months fom the
time Of our first meeting, an eSpannt on nd taken
place and engaged. Now did in truth feel
all the ferveni devoted, seIfsacrifcing love of which
before had only dreamed. would harc yielded
up my life at any moment to secure the happiness OF
nv lover. Nor his devotion inferior to my own
and during the two years Of engagement, for pc
cunnry affairs prevented being married AT an car
er per cd affection increased with every III
It suiced satisfy my exacting heart, and dis
eased imagination At last were married, and for
some months my husbands love seemed TO increase
Every morren Of his life devored to me, for he
had lust entered his prof ssion aud had not yet the
cares of business to occupy him. But this could not
last.
ga few months after marriage, we removed to
n new residence, where my husband set himself to
work in good earnest 10 Practice his profession, and
acquire an ndcpend nee for his family. l was now
separated from my family, and of course was moro
than ever dependent the society of my hus' and,
but hi. engage necessarily kept him way from
! home the greater part Of every day. spent many
| lonely treary hour, hut conso'cd by percevIne
| that NV husband " ilam much panied nj tho
scpara,ion as did M SELF and that he returned ev-
cry evening with renewed pleasure to his own fire.
| side Gradually, however, lie formed acquaint 'nccs
whose society was pleasant to him, and sometimes he
| h,u tv.O Their.
turning hoge us soon the business Of the day was
over I could not bear this, for could not cease TO
remember the time when | alone occupied bis
thoughts and when the most refined ard Brilliant So
ciety would have failed to have detained him no
men, from my side. When, therefore, lie did return
| ZONE. 7 no longer welcomed him with smiles and
| cheerfnness, but my cold and sulen manner evhced
NV sense Of the injury 1 imagined had received
This Of course rendered my society less pleasing, ah'
| thus aggravated the evil it was intended to cure.
have said that knew nothing of household atars,h'
| have no, vet alluded to the Inconvenience and EN-
I barrassmeu,s occasoned by my ignorance. In my
| mothers house had AWAY been walled upon by
slaves and was accustomed to The most implicit OBJ
! dierce 10 nil nv commands, however unreasonable
| ,hcv miaht be- Now we are compelled to depend
nm h;rcuus and they were not slow to perceive ant
take advantage of my incapaci,y to direct them.
oerceived this and my temper was naturally quick
and was now rendered fre,ful Ivy what l considered
the neglect o1 my husband, could not patiently hroo
I the NEGLECT Of my commands, nor the Hi.conceale1
contempt with which they were received by th"s
who were undoubtedly better qualified to Judge OF ct
mestic affairs than myself My repro"'s were no
very mild nor were they very submssvely received
and more than once when my husband came nome n
found me in n most unbecoming sion, clrcum
stance which undoubtedly was rot without i's efee
in " weakening the romantic fervor of his devotion
me. Nor was this the only consequences oil my shan'
full ignorance of my duties. AS would not Suom
70 the nsolence Of competent domestics, was CON
PEELED to employ those Who ly reason OF tnear o"
pnorarce were unable TO detect mine You may II
nyine the result A confused and dlSordered hous'
Icooked, untnlely meas, waste and obstruction IAN
discomfort in every form possible. How little d'd
dream when in the days of my girlhood spent
, MANY precious hours in painting imaginary scenes
r. II EE.- latnn