Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1843-02-16
THURSDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY is, 1913.
and young Germans, as you call them !

ana young Germahs, as YOU can lHeiH
or beef?
"Beefr" said Jenny Hoskins, redec-
lively, "beef! es-why, there sartinly
were some beef that week and, let me
see, we had two green 'uns, and no less
nor three luckies p
Commissioner-And pray, sir, what is
green 'un
Jenny Hoskins-Vy, unfortunate
pig, to be sur; a pig as don't die nat
teral violent death-one as goes off with
out being stick'd. Laughter.)
Commissloner-TheE how does it die 7
Jenny Hoskins-Oh, various ways.
Sometimes pig gets the measels, aud
sometimes they get smothered, and dies
that way. (Great symptoms of nausea
in Court.)
Commissioner-Bu surely you don't
use such unwholesome stuff for food
Jenny Hoskins--No, sir, we chops 'em
up for sassingers--{roars of Laugh;er)-
and wot's VERY bad indeed, we makes
EN- into saverors and Germans. We
seasons up all on 'em well, and dries 'em
over burning sor dust
Commissioner-Upon my word you
are clever fellow. Pray, what do you
mean by lucky Tell the court what
lucky is?
Jenny Hoskins-A lucky, sir, is oss
as meets with haccident in the street.
SIGH as brakn leg, getting shaft run
inter him, and SIGH likes. laughter
We're sure to buy him cheap, cos he
must be sold. Ment's beautiful, sir-you
wouldn't know it from OK or beef. Why
we picks out the prime part for the cheap
soup. houses and penny pieshops. (Roars
of laughter.)
Conmissoner--W Well Mr.. Thomas
Tubbs, and what do you say to all this 7
! Say, sir (said Mr.. Tubbs)-l say as
how this ere mans lying warment The
very last day as he left me no spilled a.
bout three hundred weight stuff.
Commissioner-Stuff - what stuff
Mr.. Tubbs-Why, the sassage meat,
to be sure. Instead Of running the prop
er ticker inter the skins he run'd in cold
water, and, in course, the sassngers
hadn't got no taste nor flavor in 'em at
all. (Laughter.)
Commissioner-You hear this, Mr..
Jenny Hoskins
| Year him said Jenny, Indignantly i
in course, years him. The mornn' as
he speaks on, was goin' to fill the skins,
and he comes up to me, and, taking a
handful of sassage meat, he smells to it,,
and thee, shakin his head, he SEES,
"Jemmey," ses he, "this years rather
strong; you'd better give it rnce over
with the ticker in the bilers." "Why,
that's for making ke,chup," SEES |, "and
that's my perquisite."
| Commissioner--Wh make catsup
from water that horseiiesh has been boil.
ed in
Jenny Hoskns-Yes, sir; the best
mushroom ketchup in the world. Roars
of laughter.
A ia, sleek-headed juryman here turn
ed very sick. Mr.. Jenny Hoskins con.
tinued--
Pact is, sir, nobody don't know what
he yeats in London. wants my mon.
worse for him, that's all. | amt said
nothing about ack-puddus yet nor
young Germans, nor Laughter.
Commissioner---For Heavens sake,
say no more. Will YOU pay this man
his clam
After some alteration, Jenny Hos.
kns agreed to take El los. in liquidation
OF all demands.
Immediately the case was over. our
reporter was telegraphed by Mr.. Thorn.
as Tubbs, and an overture made, for the
purpose OF keeping the case out of the
papers. The reporter referred the wor-
thy sausage. maker to his editor.
The Sco.chman boasts Of gobhes raw.
! Ofhaggis paunch and co;ke-eekie
! But sausage meat may bear the bell
From any Filth in eude Aud R,ekie.
As Samuel Weller said to Maude---
Don't buy your whites ready chord"