Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1843-10-03
from the Democratic Review for June']
THE STORY OF THE M u G II
RONGED MAN.
CHATTER /.
EDITED BY WILLIAM NJ. GouGE

CHATTER 1.
was born--no natter when, and no
matter where. Neither is it of any conse-
ouence who my father was, much less my
GRAND father. 1t has been said that in this
republican country of ours, any man who
cIn 90 back for three generations without
stumbling over cobbler's stool, is noble
man. For my part, think it the height of
arstocratic presumption for any man IN this
country to have had grandfather, or at
lcast, if he has had one, to know anything
about him.
And yet, if disposed to boast of my pa
rentage, might, perhaps, excite the envy OF
some of those who plume themselves most
on the gentility of their descent. What
would they say if should tell them that my
fathers chief residence was a castle, on a
most delightful cite, called Cherry Hills
And that he had another residence in place
known by the romantic name of Moyamcn.
sing!t The front of this castle in the latter
place, CT is s.anding,) is the most beautiful
specimen of Gothic in the country, with the
exception of the New York University.
But wave all titles TO distinction foam
ded on my illustriou5 ancestry. As little as
am disposed to boIst of my education, though
received the greater part of my literary tn.
ition at a celebrated boarding school in How
ard street, My own wrongs are quite SUI,
ficient to entitle my name TO Immortality
1t is said that they who boast of their anccs-
Try. are like the potatoc plant, the best part
oi which are under the ground. am not OF
that number of vain glorious fools. | may
rest my claims to distinction. on my own do
ings, or rather on my own suffcrings.
These sufferings commenced very early
The appetite for fruit is very Strong in chill
dren, | endeavored to CRAFTY it in the usua
way, by Selling OH fiuit where | found i
most abundant: that is, i'll the public mlrkc
pl ice. In so doing, practscd truly Spar
tau policy, i'll being as secret as possible, fo
wished no offence to either,Jcw or Gen
tile. Bat was sometimes discovered, an(
as the market woman knew as little of an
,cicn history as they did of philosophy, mon,
were the. kicks and cuffs received from
IN I'm, merely because gratifcd my patur
al appetite in natural way, by mpnching
few apples, or it may be IA few pears.
The crucitics suffered in the city, drove
me INFO the country. But the farmers, whcl
49, attempted to pick few cherries or few
plums. assailed me with sticks and stones
and sometimes set their dogs upon me-
They were quite as inhumrn rs the mlrkc
women, and. firmly believe, knew quite a
little of ancient history aud of natural phi
losophy Why-clsc should they have oh
jcctcd to a poor, innocent child like me
gratifying his natural appetite in natura
way,
Since have come to have orchards ant
fruit-gardens, and graperics Of my own,
confess that new light OF philosophy ha
broken upon me. But there are, will main
tan,tro PHILOSOPHERS; one proper to shirtlcs
and pcnnyless boys, the others proper to mel
OF wealth and station Ibejeve in both, anC
have in my time lived up TO both. | shoult
ike to see the boy that would venture tc
take an apple or apear from one of my trees
would soon teach the young rascal the diff
ference between mcum and tenn.
was born for hero. always knew
was The story of the Spartan youth. who
stole fox, and then suffered it to cat on
his own bowels rather than confess the
theft, early excited my emulation. The no
bic Spatlans- encouraged their youth il
stealing. and made the whole offence consis
in being. found out. The Spar,ans were true
philosophers. Throughout nv life | have
cnicavorcd 20 act on Spartan principles.
The histories OF Pizarro and Cortez uscC
to delight me exceedingly; and of en- did
reflect that | could not, Ike them, act m,
IL. AZ I
man poet, Goethe, slys, the end Of our be
ing, and | agree with him. Circumstance
wcr" aGairsr me; bat did what could.
used 10 stand at ur doors of the theatres
ona appropriate 10 myself every now au
then pocket handkerchief and occasional
Il pocket book. Shall relate what | SUI
tcred in consequence from inhuman and un
Ph!losophic watchmcn and constabcs, to sa
nothing of aldermen and other committin!
magistrates | will not. | fear the the de
tails would be too much for the feelings o
the sympathizing reader
Spartan hcroism of this kind is little cs
teomed in modern days. Could get the
ears of the rising generation, would, from
nay own sad experience. caution them to be-
ware OF It's exercise. Beloved youth, listen
10 one who loves you as father. There is
a pleasure, know, in picking pockets al
me theatre, aud sometimes profit. Bat
danger attends il. Besides this. il is no,
respectable. Think not wish to deprive
you OF the opportunity of gratifying your ma
'nral appetites in natural way, am not
SO unphllosopcal. Man was not born TO la.
DOR or to save. 1t is evident that he was not,
nor otherwise he would have been born ma
nTaAy industrious and economical, as is the
ant or the bee. View human nature as il
we know of no place, in PENNSYLVANIA,
called Cherry Hill, except the site of the