Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1843-10-12
Letter from Kkey Smooth, to his Mo-
fher, at SmOOthburg, way down TO
Yarmouth.
MILFORD. Sept. %. 1913.

hye 10 all Inc SmootnS and Sticks who wege-
tale in that ar place, | steered a sow-by-sow-
west direction, as cusir Ezekiel, who sails in
the Two Pollys, sez, Ill run fowl of town
they kols Milford. Jist alore | got TO this
place, sold evry darn red oak ham and wood
en- nutmeg that had, so that hadn't darned a
spudgeon left IN the old waggln, and my boss,
sleepy davy, had his pluck rz by The flour
barls | guved him, and was SO oll-fred spunky,
;hat lhort I'd stop to This town, aud gel "a load
Of notions, TO kepe his dandlr down Wal,
marm, arler Ia bin here eenamost weke,
thorl Id bail out for Yarmouth, but The folks
Iell'd me" Mr.. Smooth, you better stay here
few days longer; the young ladies intend to
have Fair, and no doubt you will be much
pleased with it, and YOU will have something
new 10 tell the heathens away up TO Yarmouth"
Gosh Molly didn't my blood, which has runn'd
through FIVE or six generations of Sticks and
Smoolhs, git rufed when they sed ,his MY
nose was jlst like big red pepper. 0 yankee
doodle and liberty! if | hadn't bin afeard I'd
q! licked myself, the way Id licked them fell
lers. Jlsr 10 think wunxt call the Yarmouth
ers helhenS Bat my feeosoiy riz 10 sucker
me. Sez |, if kicks up a muss, III have to
rorIle oui OF the town, and ] wont see what
kind of all anermal this fair ar Wal, olsen
tangled The quadruped from The vehicle, and
STIMULATED him, the dandy Teller sed, what
came cOrIln on the Decnn's dauer Old
daddy lime locnmOled like louise on a snails
gallup, al the day that the fair was to be seed.
But The day cOm'd d; last. | sot up all night
waichln 10 The fair come, bul | couldn't see
nOlhln of The Iarnaon thing; 81 the next morn
IN | sol nf tba .lo |
kalkilale the fair wont be showd To-day, kase
j, didn't come to town last night. Good goly,
how quere The chap lookd when | telrd him
rhis he la1ed and he snickereI, and he snick-
cred and he iatird, and he siuiiel his nuse-ker-
chief Ia his mouth. | swow lhort the coul
would faint. Why YOU verdani Narmounter,
sez he, lis In the hademy now. Wal, sol
r!ghl of 10 see Il, wondeun how the darn thing
got In without my seen on it, When | coml
The kadenIy, seed a iarualion grist-or folks
walkIn about aud tslkln so much, that | lh0rt
thar war . swarm OF hess sumwhere, (bul thar
warn'l,l but ! couldn't see n0ihn on the fair.
Wal, iool'd aud grinnd, aud srinn'd and
look d, but couldn't see n0ihn but a hui sight
ol fiuelied fixnS SD | axed hansum Young
gal-Miss, sez i. bowia very perIilely, can
YOU tel! me war The fair ar She made two
ar three currshees, and seq She" Here il
l., sir Consarn the leetIe thing, don't you
think, usrm, she was VERY cagerlisrical, 10
tell splinter fire stranger she was fair!
do, swou | do. ! AK your pardng, Miss. sez
J, hu kalkllaie you don't zactly understand
me. want to know where thai thing they
call a far Is, lhal they're guG 10 show. Dear
lne, Mr.. smooth, sez she, how very eXsentric /
YOU are; all thai YOU see in The room is the /
isIr. Nhe, whe, sez |, (lalkin parey VOC
French, like cusln Slick, Ihe Auashay, when
lac wants TO say yes,) | reckin see into il
how The folks cum Ia and look al The thing
umbohs, aud pay their fare, like we do down 10
Earncum 10 Tide on The liyin hosseS o now,
hlI,er. SmO0lh. sez she, don't he so dumb oi
nnprehead>Aing We young ladies' git these
lpng, aud sell Ihem, and apply the proceeds 10
IiXin the church and edIcailn The leaihen-an
as we call Il FAIR. How anal dunn be, seq
3, but that's good plan; he people in this
sale DE gIate heihens. aud us right to edicate
'-m. Law me, Mr.. Smooth. sez she, we have |
H. neihen in this country; they're all out in
lac Zebedee and Feegee Islands. Wal
low, swon, SEE ], that ar someihin new,
our dominic always ielI'd me, lhere be more
i.r'ASA 10 iilis country tnah 10 Ieegee and /
'hem lulher places; but | spose you'll edicaie /
raem, and then edicaye our helhens, that's goin |
J ke 'hs inJins pig, backwards, Dear me Mister
,nnuih, sez she how funny you are; but don't
,ou waul 10 buy sumltn! Wal don't know,
sez ], "a ii's putty nigh seeden lime, wouldn't |
!ulnd gi;un kuPPle Of plowsheers for Geylher
We have none Oi those articles Mister Smooth,
u she, bul there is sumlhin I'd like to sell
vpu, and good goiIy what grisl of fine things
sae show'd me- o, Marin! If you'd only bin
'here They had kupple Of niger doll-ba-
Iae>. and they were fixed 50 hansum 100. So,
inarni, when the lother gals seed this gal a Try
ia to sell nae sumthn, they all cum up and com
IleEced lalkin To NE, and o my how quere | I
'fll 10 have 80 many putty gals close to me-
My gizxard Jumped eenamost OUT of me. They
must have lhor war good lookin felIer by
TIE way they hangd around me. GolIy but
they war nice and then they coaxed SO han
suny, and now marm, comes the tug-I hate
~ tell on il but ! must l,--lhey got all my mummy
i here war no saudln on EN-, they would have
q, welher or no ;. | swon think there war sum
l12tlsuu ahoIu 'em Buf that's the way with