Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1843-09-22
LOCOFOCO COW HEEL.

IN, which very finely illustrates the
maa 6f5o 5iH5rea6e hstween the pro-
'es''ona ofthe Locofoco party aud their
performances
Sancho and The Knight one day stop
ped at an inn about dinner time. "Wsll
good man Of the house," SAYS SancEos
"what have you got to dayw
"Gol!' replied tho innkeeper with a
big Iook-"eyery thing under the suns
lbe beasts Of the field, the fowls Of the
air, The fish of lhe sea. and The game Of
the forest. My house always has the
best Of every thing"
"Aha" said Sancho, licking his chopR
"yOu are the man for my money. Give
US good fa. turkey roasted very nice.
and couple pounds Of sausage with tho
trimmlngs-I never eat much"
"Turkey9' said the undergraduates
the very thing ! have not got. But
there's every thing else"
"WeI. then" replied Ssncho, "roasE
Us couple OF pulIets- or say three, but
be very sure that they are tender"
"P1lets2" returned the inkeepsr, II
had the prsliiesI lot Of then yesterday
you ever laid your eyes on But just
as they we're going to roost. down came
monslrous hen hawk, aud whisked OF
eVery molher's chick"
What a diabollcsi snap dragron!" ex..
claimed Sancbo. "But ! think could
do with nice little roast pig. we'll STUFF.
fed"
"Plg7" said the inn keepsr--"O yes
I've plenty OF pigs, but they have all got
their tails CREASED, and there's no catchr
ing them "
Then | will take soma fried fish,
said Sapcho
"Fmhi" said the inn kseper-"lt'G
rather too late; for the ponds have alt
dried up, and the fish have all emigrated
towards the coast THERE is not a fSh
within a hundred leagues"
"Ojds FISH," exclaimed the impatient
Sancho 'then tell me the name Of some
thing you have got"
"Got-got -" said the inn keeper,
scratching his head, "rVe got-sone
excellent cor heel"
Just so with the Locofoco leaders they
promise the finest fare in the world but
give Us nothing but The sorrowest COW
heel tha, was ever hashed They gave
Us the Jackson and Van Buren, govern.
ments, that they were TO restore the gold
en- age, and lay US all up in clover. And
what did these governments DO in the
end! excellent COW heel" Yes-a
sort o. COW heel that upset the national
pail, and set the whole country crying
for split milk.
They promised US better currency,
reform, and nobody knows how many
other fine things, but they all turned out
to be pigs with slippery tails that could
not be caught.
They offered us splendid bill Of fare
al the commencement OF Marcus Nor
tons administration. Nobody could
count the pigs, puIlets and turkeys that
we're 10 come out OF the political pol
But when they had coddIed their mess
and served it up, what do we find ite
Cow heel, for thousand pounds Of il
would hardly go down with an onion.
They made prodigious promises about
"economy and relrenchmenl;" and to
save appearances they actually did cut
down the pay Of some Of the hard work..
ing servants Of the people, but took 3
very tender care Of their own pea nut;
salaries Your COW heel poilicianR
never ''toe the mark"
They enchanted US with the most
magnificent visions Of the lessons OF wis
dom in store for US from that champion
Of pure democracy, Governor Morton.
The grave historian, Joe Miller, will
chronicle his administration, by record
ing the fact that he uttered a slupendous
pun which will make him known to pos,
lerty as the Kings eptl Governor.
In short, their promises always make
the mouth wafer, but they never bring
on any thing better than COW heel. Now
this will never DO; and if the people Of
this country have any sense, they will
say to our host Of the fine bill of fare:
"lf you can't catch pigs and keep pulets
we shall cut your acquaintance and never
call again. Mas Wing.