Bloomington herald. [volume] (Bloomington, I. T. [Iowa]) 1840-1849, 1843-11-17

From tho Now Orleans Picayune.
THE WAY TO MAKE TELrOTALER.
Evm,eratSon, As F0scss.-Or, the Aase-
nudity Of Ttppatns Rats.
Mr.. C.. commission merchant oil this CITY, Is
known az an extensive holder Of Western pro-
dnee. and his stock is not more noted for us
variety, than Tor the superiority Of the sese'a'
articles which he keeps on hand. HIS per
cen,aee on the sale Of Monongalela whiskey
through the year would, by man OF moderate
notions. be reckoned liberal income. Cusso-
mers came 90 quick to purchase. that 20 save
the trouble Of too frequent recurrence 10 s"e
barrel, he has been in The habit OF Keeping
sample bottle in the store. always full, OF par
,ial.y 80, for their trial and inspection. ne
had found for long time that the contents
of the sample bottle decreased very rapid
", daily, and in manner. al hrst, very mys-
teriousIy. He soon learned. however. mat
Sampson, the negro who stayed IN the stoFe'
was any thing but Westinghouse. ana thas
he tried the strength Of the Monongaheia OIL
,ener than The whole Of his customers. DesI'
rous to know il his conscien'iousness were as
large as his alimen,iveness, he said TO him on
Monday night. Sampson. how is i that the
whiskey in the sample bottle dim!nlshes 80
fast! Why i, has to be filled daily:
.Clsr go. massa, doesn't know said
Sampson, looking as serious as converted
sinner at camp-ineeting. 'bnt thinks, mas
sa, it is carried off by do principles 90 wot
white folks calls Evaporation
%, you do Sampson!' said Mr.. e.
II does. sar,in, nassa, said Sampson, 'canse
tells you dat ere 'waporation's right strong
gosh, it amt left drop O. hard cider in dc
country. think It's dat wot make de whis-
kew 90 scarce, an no temperance movement, as
dey call it, =,
.Well, then, Sampson said Mr.. c., fill
the bottle now, and will cork it so tight as 10
prevent evaporation
.Es. SAL said Sampson.
He filled the bottle, his master corked It
evaporation tight, and again it was placed on
the shelf. Again on Tuesday morning It was
found 10 have decreased considerably quantity,
and still more towards noon.
/ well, Sampson said Mr.. c.. find the
whiskey rapidly decreasing. How do you
account for it now :
sWa-welI, il be berry hard TO 'splain. mas
sa.' said Sampson, i. be one Oh dose sterious
Disappearance wot niggers can't count for,
and wat sometimes puzzles white folks, tell
YOU
!. But what is your opinion = said Mr.. G..
wal. al. / thinks said Sampson, 10 tell
goramithy's truf, dat de rats be drinkin II, foi
| dey hash, Joined de temperance 'siety as
knows on
YES said Mr.. c., but when It would gel
| down as low as the centre Of the bottle, how
| would the rats manage to get at II then =
| yah yah yah! said Sampson. but, sup.
pressing suddenly his ordinations, he added,
look heah, massa, was just goin' to say
| as how you was green. Now, does you think
| as how dem ere rats wat you sees bout de
store, and wot's so much in de cabaret at de
| corner-does you .ink, axes, dat SEEM SO
many takn' julips on de suction principle. dat
| dew don't know de use OBJ DE- strasv Wal,
reckon dey does, massa.'
well, then, Sampson said Mr.. c., if the
sample bottle can neither be preserved from the
rats or evaporation, must only submit, to the
loss, and fill it whenever it is empty. Fill j,
now and leave it again on the shelf, and care
not whether you cork it or not
| Mr.. e. told an acquaintance of his. an a.
pothecary, Of Simpsons partiality for the SAM
| pie bottle and asked him if he could not give
him some decoction to mix with it, which,
while it would not visibly alter its color OF
taste, would prove less agreeable to Samp.
sons system than the pure Monongahela.-
The apo.hecary told him he could and. on the
Tuesday before last, he furnished the required
preparation. Sampson was sent out on an er.
rand in the early part Of the day, and in his
absence the obnoxious ingredients were intro.
duced into whiskey. Tog give Sampson bet
| tel scope, when he returned, his master went
out and stayed away long enough to give the
sampler-tas,ing Sampson full play at The but
| tie. When he returned, he noticed strange
and peculiar rolling Of SIMPSONS eyes; his
| lips were the color Of stale venison, and he
had all the singular characteristics in his ap.
pearanc Of sick nigger.' Mr.. G. managed
10 keep him pretty busy, and although appear
ing not to notice him, closely, watched his
! movements.
'Wo!' he'd shout, raising his leg up a.
gainst his stomach, but still endeavorinn TO
conceal his pain from his master, aud again he
would exclam, ali czech WOO! goramiah.
~" and lie would brace his belly round with
his hands and arms. At length, finding him.
self growing worse-,hat there was no chance
| o: the pain abatng, he threw himself on the
floor and roared out. %, massa, massa, dis
child's gone nigger-oh a-h o-o.h!'
why, what's the matter Sampson!' said
Mr.. C., appearing to be suddenly astonished
at the state Of SIMPSONS bowels.
20! massa, massa,' said Sampson, oh !!
ee: ah! o-o.ah massa, Use a gone chicken.
ali ee! and he wrinkled about on the floor
like pea on hot griddle, his eyes revolving
like the beacon Of light house, and his color
changing like dying dolphin.
why, what's the matter with you T. said
his master. n
.Oh. l doesn't know, massa,' said Samp.
son, blu, guess Use 90, the Tyler grippe,
and De inAunxar. aud de black WON'T, and All
de oder plants in general and tick lar on The
high. pressure, roafin' riber princerple-ch |:
ah!' @ @ sa#