Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1843-09-30
TAKING THE CENSUS.
i Scene ia AEaJama-by II Hooper, Esq.

y
We rode up day the residence Of a
widow, "a her past the prime OF life Gust that
period at which nature supplies more abuhdantly
The oil which ubrlcates The hinges of The female
tongue )-and hItchng 10 the fence, walked INTO
The house.
''Guod morning, madam, said We in our usual
bland and some what insInua,Ing manner.
''MofGIu',' SAID The widow, gtufhy.
Drawing our blanks from their case, we pro-
&c eded-"l am Inc man, madam, tha, takes the
cen s,ls and
The mischief you are.' said the old ,errna-
gon1.-"Yes, I've hearn Of you. Parson ". told
me You coming, and told him US what
tell yon-ihat If you SAID cloth, soap, oi'chick
ems, NE, I'd the dogs ye; here Bull! here
Pomp!" Two wolfish ours responded 10 the call
OF Bull and Pomp, by coming TO The door, smel>
ling at our feet, with slight growl, ard then
LAID down the steps. Now, continued the
Old she savage, "Ihem's the severest dogs Ia this
country. Last week Bill StonekeFs two year
old ste er jumped my yard fence, and Bull aud
Pomp TUX him by he throat, and they killed him
Icy the throar, and they killed him afore my boys
could bf eak 'em loose, TO save The world"
Yes, ms, am sa id we meekIy, Ball and Pomp
seem 10 be very fine Digs"
You may well say that; what tells them TO
90 they do: and if was sick them your boss
Wonder, they d eat him up before you could say
Jack Robertson. And its jist what shall do,
II you Try 10 pry INTO my consarns- They are
none Of your business, nor Van Baren's mother,
| reckon. Oh, old Van Buren,! WISH had you
here YOU old rascal. I'd show you what--Id-
I'd make Bull and Pomp show you how TO be
scndin' GU, men 10 take down wha, little stuff
peoples got jisl tax it, when lis taxed enough
a. readvr'
All this time pcrspiripE through fear
Of the fierce guardians of the old widows portal
Al length, when the widow paused remarked
that as ste was determined not TO answer qnes'
. produce
Just set down the age, sex, aud complexion OF
each member of her family.
ono SIGH thlng-you'll do no sich thing,
said she; "Fve got five in my family, aud that's
all you'll git from me. Old Van Buren, mus, hav Q
a heap to do, the droted old viynn 10 send you
10 tako down how old my children Is, I've got
five n my family and they all between five
aud hundred years, they are all Plaguy sight
whiter than ycu and whether they arc he or she,
is mono Of your cOnsarns."
We told her should report her TO the Mar
shall, and she would be fined, bu, i, only augmen
ted her wrath.
"Ycs, send Your Marshal or your Mr. Van
Burcn here, II your bad off lo-iet EN- come
let NJ. Van Buren, come, Cooking az savage as a
Bengal tigress.J Oh, | wish he 1rould come, ;
and her nostris dIlaied, and her eyes g cleaned
..'d his head OFF,
THAT might kill him, ;" we rentured to remark
By way Of Ike.
XII him. kill hind if had him here by
the gears | reckon mould kill him. pretty
! fellow to be eating his vittis out'n gold spoons
ha' poor peoples taxed for, and rasn' an army
To get him made king OF Ameriky-the audaciouS
/ nasty, sinking old scampt' She paused n mo
menl and then resumed "And now. list put
down what ieell you that paper, and don't be
telling no lies to send to Washington city. Jis,
put down July Tomp kins, ageable woman md
four children
We objected TO making my such entry, BIZ,
The old bag vowed that II should be done, be done
to prevent any misrepresentation of her case
We, however, were pretty rcsoIute. until she APP
peeled 10 the crouchant wheips, Bull and Ponp
i the FIRST glimpse Of their teeth. courage
gave way, nd made the entry in bold hand
across blank schedule-"July akins, agea :
bic woman, and four children.
We now begged The old lady to dismiss he,
canine friends, that we might go out end depart
and forthwith mounting our old black, deter
mined Ia give the old soul parting fire. Turn
ing half round in order to face her, we shouted
"Oid 7omant
"Wbo told YOU 10 call me old 'omau, you Ion Q
legged, Ratchet faced wbeIp you? III make the
, dogs take YOU off that horse if you give me any
, moro sars What do you want.
, ''Do YOU want to get marrled?'
, Not TO you, if d."
Placing our right thumb on the nasal ex.rem
iiy of our countenance, said, "1ou need n
be uneasy, old 'un that score--,hough yo
might suit sore legged Dick S-up our way
and should like to know what 10 tell him how h
might count on if he come down next Sunday !.
Here. Bur!n shouted the widow, "sick hin
D Pompr' but we cantered off, unwounded. fortu
g natelv, By the faugs Of Bull and Pomp, who KEEP
e up the chase "a long they could hear III
cheering voice Of their misrcss-"S.i-c II. Pom
t -- sick, sick, s-i-c k him. Blll-suboY' suboy
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