Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, W.T. [i.e. Wis.]) 1843-1844, 1843-12-16
Ma. EDITOR /:

There lives lady down South, who u Is
said owns divers large cotton plantations. and
more .niggers' than old Wade Hampton. She
lived for a short time with her husband, not 10
state of double blessedness.' bu, of double
wre,chedness. just because she would wear
the breaches whether or no. However this is
no crime a; the present day, when the scep,re
of dominion has been transferred from the mas
culine to the femenine gender, and Queen
Victoria rules over the world. Bot publicly
declare at The risk of prosecution, that her
ladyship, even during her coverture, was en-.
gagged in criminal intrigues with thousand
lovers or more. She was not ccquette; in-
deed she was too coarse for this fisicky art, and
knew no more about it than Potlawattimie
Souaw. Without disguise she displayed her
fondness for Dick Tom and Harry under the
very nose of her "o,her self"
Such conductat last brought on an uncivil
family broil. and ousled him from the premises.
She is fishing for another partner now
Why do you not bite ye fortune hunters. For
some years she has been throwing sleeps eyes
at Uncle Sam. She gave sulky John Bull the
.mit,en,' because the old codger could not scent
any difference between her 'niggers' and her.
self and n,imated that if he should ever be so
happy as TO own them, he would set them all
| free. Aye. but some of my readers-those
who are yankees at leas,-begin 10 guess, ".ls
Texas you mean Yes. lady Texas drubbed
and expelled Msvicc. her lawful husband, and
now she wishes Uncle Sam to admit her into
the union.
Captain Tyler, i. is said, has taken the
match in hand. 1t is one Of the s,rangest an
omalies that ever occurred in human history.
that such man as John Tyler should become
the head Of great and intellectual people, who
in theory at least. elect their own rulers. A
school boy. playing hide and SEEK now be-
hind his coscience. and then behind the Con
slitution. ill routed from his refuge,--a parsi.
monious pedlar in prefermen,s and postoffices,
"a mass of dough. willing to be moulded into
any shape to fit the official niche !: the Grand
Sultan might have made him the presiding eu.
much of his scraglio TO reconcile the squabbles
of women; but that he should become the head
of Uncle Sans family, is one of the s,raoges,
freaks of chance. He has undertaken the
critical and delicate task of negotiating the
match between Uncle Sam and lady Texas.
Some of Uncle Sans boys are vociferous for
the union. They say that Uncle Sam should
initiate the example Of Prince Albert. and mar
~ fortune, love or no love. Mrs. Texas,
modest as she is, tells them they shall have
large share of the wedding cake in case they
induce Uncle Sam 10 consent. She says she
VIII Immediately purchase two or three humid.
red Thousand Of their 'nggers. and afford them
an everlasting market for their personal prop
erty. in case the wedding takes place. Other
members of Uncle Sans family, declare they
never will submit to the tyranny Of step.
dame, md tina, they will dissolve the Union
first. They say they never will contribute
their money and their blood, to defend the cot.
ton plantations Of their step ma from the in
roads Of unconquerahle savages: nor TO drub
her former husband till he gives her ''writing
Of divorcemen,," and obligates himself to re.
store all her niggers that escape 10 his dig.
gins--They say that Uncle Sam has more
land now, than they can attend to.-,hat they
will take care of Oregon. and let Mrs. Texas
take care of herself Indeed, Mr.. Editor, if
you have ever seen family cursed with an
imperious step dame. and rebellious children.
you have miniature picture Of Uncle Sans
family, should this nnucky union take place.
In the language Of the Richmond Enquirer. the
very proposition will set all the jarring inter.
es,s and jealousies OF our country into intense
s,rfe,--the union ofTexas would be the disun-
ion Of the States. Tell Uncle Sam in The Ian.
guage OF the greatest Of the prophets to Ilerod
tetrarch, ait is no. lawful for thee TO have her,"
Honor. peace, policy forbid the match. and
long may Uncle Sam remain bachelor, before
he marries grass widow, so faiihless as Mrs.
Texas has proved herself to be.
Yours, &c. J. T. NJ
Lancaster, w, T. Dec. Slll, l843.