The Arkansas banner., 1843-09-16

 united univarsal worlds of our great Repub- lie, that could speak pure English, and was goin' to kick him for it; but he is right, arter all. There ain't one liviH' soul on us can; l don't believe they ever as much as heerd it, for l never did, till this blessed day, and there are few things haven't either seed or heern tell of. Yes, we can can't speak Eng fish, do you take3 Dim comrag,' sais he, which in Yankee, means that's no English, and he stood, looked puzzled, and scratched his head, rael hansum, Dim cemrag,' sais he
 'sWell it made me -larf -spiteful, l felt kinder wicked, and as had a hat on, and couldn't scratch my head, 1 stood Ist like him, clown fashion, with my eyes wonderful and~my mouth wide open, and put my hand behind me, and scratched there; and stared and looked puzzled too, and made the same identical vacant face he did, and repeated ar ter him slowly, with another scratch, mock ing him like, Dim comrag.'
 'Such pair O fools you never saw, Squire, since the last time you shaved afore lookin' glass; and the stable boys larfed, and he larfed, and larfed, and it was the only larf l had all that juicy day.
 "Well, turns agin to the door; but it's the same old story over agin-rain, rain, rain; spatter, spatter, spatter-sl can't stop here with these true Brittons,' says l, guess I'll go and see the old Squire: he IS in his study
 'So goes there: 'Squire,' sais l, 'let me offer you rael genewine Havana cigar; can recommend it to you He thanks me, he don't smoke, but plague take him, he don't say, If you are fond of smokin', pray smoke yourself' And he Is wri!in', l won't inter rupt him.
 'Water, order me post-chaise, to be here in the mornin', when the rocks wake.'
 "'Yes, sir
 ssCome, I'll try the women folk in the drawin'-room, agin'. Ladies don't mind the rain here, they are used to it. It's like the musk plant, arter you put It to your nose once, you can't smell 1t a second time. Oh what beautiful gals they be! What a shame it is to bar fellow out such day as this One on lem bushes like red' cabbage, when she speaks to me, that's the one, reckon, l disturbed this mornin'. Cuss the rooks Fll pyson them, and that won't make no noise.
 s.She shows me the consarvitery. 'Take care, sir, your coat has caught this geranium,' and she onhitches it. Stop, sir, you'll break this lilly flower' and she lifts of the coat tail agin; in fact it's so crowded, you can't squeeze along, scarcely, without doin' of mischief somewhere or another.
 ''Next time, she goes first, and then its my turn, Stop, Miss sais l, your frock has this rose tree over,' and loosens it; once more, Miss, this rose has got tangled,' and onan- gles it from her furbeloes.
 q wonder what makes my hand shake so, and my heart it bumps so, it has busta button of. If | stay in this consaryitery, l shan't consarve myself long, that's fact, for this gall has put her whole teem on, and IS run nin' me off the road sIIullo, what's that Bell for dressin' for dinner' Thank Heavens shall escape from myself, and from this beautiful critter, too, for Pm gettin' sPoony, and shall talk silly presently.
 s!I don't like to be left alone with gall, it's plaguy apt to set me soft sawderin and cour- tim There's sort ofnateral attraction like in this world. Two ships in calm, are sure to get up long-side of each other, If there is no wind, and they have nothin' to do, but to look at each other natur' does 1t. Well, even the tongs and the shovel won't | Stdilu dlOlG loilS tliC ic ouiC to SSt oh tiic same side of the fire, and be sociable; one of lem has loadstone and draws 'tother, that's sartain. If that's the case with hard-hearted things, like oak and iron, what is 1t with ten der-hearted things like humans Shut me up in 'sarvatory with handsome gall of a rainy day, and see if don't think she is the sweetest flower in it. Yes, am glad it is the dinner bell, for ain't ready to marry yet, and when I am, l guess l must get gall where l got my hoss, in old Connecticut, and that state takes the shine off of all creation for geese, gals, and onions, that's a fact.
 "Well, dinner won't wait, so ups agin once more near the rocks, to brush up bit but there it is agin the same old tune, the whole blessed day, rain, rain, rain. It's rained all day and don'ttalk of fstoppin' mother. How hate the sound, and how streaked feel. don't mind its husken' my voice, for there is no one to talk to, but cuss 1t, 1t has softened by bones.
 sDinner is ready; the rain has damped every body's spirits, ard squenched lem out; even champaign W ont raise lem agin; feedin' is heavy, talk is heavy, time is heavy, tea is heavy, and there ain't no musick, the only thing that's light is a bed room candle heavens and airth, how glad 1 am this .juicy day' is overp'