Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1843-03-17


wanton and atrocious murder and his ex-
ecution was fixed for the next day. He
seemed so elated at his escape, that l could
not forbear reminding him that he only
got out of the frying pan into the fire.
He briskly replied, 80, but you forget |
have escaped the disgrace Of being hanged"
On my reminding him that the disgrace
was in the crime, not the punishment, he
answered, 81 differ from you entirely in
this matter" and proceeded ON, rafting his
chain as if in triumph.
My next encounter was with person
who had distinguished himself in several
controversies on questions which, admit
ing Of no demonstrations either Of facts or
arguments, afford the finest scope for in-
formidable discussion. He had written
more than one dissertation to prove that
the prophet knew nothing about what he
had predicted, and gone nigh to convince
his readers that he was in the same predc-
ament. was proceeding to converse with
him on the unexpected catastrophe so rap
idly approaching, when he impatently in
terrupted me: unexpected indeed ~ said
he, 81 have been so busy in proving it to
be all humbug, that am sorry to say that
| am altogether unprepared But that is
not the worst. The most provoking part
of the business is, that this old block-head
should be right and | wrong. My repu-
taton is entirely ruined and shall go
down to posteritJ as a teacher of false doc
trines and bad reasoner." Don't be
uneasy or that score" replied "posterity
will know nothing of the matter" Upon
which he left me in great passion affirming
that | had reflected on himself and his
work, which upon my honor, was not my
intention.
The philosopher had scarcely left me
when there approached on old man of rath-
err venerable appearance, who seemed an
exception to the rest of the world-being ev-
identity elated at what filled all others with
horror aud dismay. He was rubbing his
J hands in great glee, ever and anon saving
81 told them so | predicted all this years
ago, but the blockheads wouldn't believe
me-" Anxious to know the meaning of all
this, ventured to ask an explanation -
"What !" said he, "don't you know am the
prophet who foretold the destruction of the
world by fire, the first of April, 1887 The
clergy preached against me in their pulpits
the philosophers laughed and the would-be
wise ones hooted at me as fool, or an I'M
poster. But they have got it now they
have got it now-ha ha ha !" and the
worthy old prophet went his way delighted
at the fulfIment of his prediction. BLESS
my soul had no idea il would be so hot !"
At that moment il seemed that he took fire,
and in few minutes was consumed to ash
es, exclaiming to the last, "Well, well it
matters not, shall go down TO posterity as
the last of the prophets p
The last person l recollect meeting, was
the worthy old gentleman who rallied against
the world so copiously at the commence
ment of this vision. He was putting and
blowing, and tanning himself with his hat at
prodigious rate "Well, my friend" said
|, coolly and quietly, "welI. my friend, you
we're quite right in your opinions that the
world was pretty well worn out, and on its
last legs, 1t is, in truth, an old, superannu-
ated concern, not worth mending; aud as
you truly stated over head and ears in debt,
that the sooner it winds up its affairs, and
calls IFS creditors together, the better" The
old gentleman, however, did not seem alto
He hesita,ed, wiped his brow, and at length
replied: "Why, ay--yes-to be sure.
confess, thought so yesterday, but he had
no idea it was going to happen so soou; aud
besides, really when one comes to consider
the matter coolly," and then he pulled and
painted as if almost roasted to death "when
one, say, considers the matter cooly, this
world after all is said and done, is not so
bad but an honest man might have made up
his mind TO live little longer. 1t might
have been mended so as to have been toler-
able; and considering the pains everybody
is taking TO make il better, don't think the
case was altogether desperate. Really, it
has scarcely had fair trial, and with few
scores of years more, what with the great
improvement in machinery; the wonderful
facilities in travelling and the exertions of
a comprehensive philanthropy, see no rea-
son to despair of the millennium. But il is
all over now the advocates of progress
will never know whether they were dreaming
or awake: and | shall die without ever pre-
dieting another hard winter"
How much farther my good old friend
would have carried his recantation, can new
er be known; for Just at this critical mo-
ment, methought he blew up with prodi-
gious explosion glare of light, so intense
ly brilliant as to be beyond endurance, fash
before my eyes, and sense of suffocation
came over me, with such overwhelming
force, that struggled myself awake; and
the first sounds heard in the street, were
those of the little boys crying out, "April
fool April fool |"
To loGsh Rootcn Goods.-The art of washing
Wooden Goods SO as to prevent them from shrink
ing, is one Of the desiderata in domestic economy
worthy of being recorded, and il 10 therefore with
satisfaction we explain this simple process to our
readers. All descriptions of Wooden Goods should
be washed in very hot water, with soap, and as soon
the article 10 cleanaed imrnRrsn Il In