Rutland herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1823-1847, 1843-05-23

aItahgctn'hi ahl consented 10 tho plan very cor.
daily especially rs Jours vas Young ard . very
good looking fellow
Well the evening rollrd around--,he scheme
was sprung upon the victim and worked mos 3D.
mlrabIy Long before the hour arrived the old
man was rs drunk rs a lor, aud when the parties
got upon the floor. our hero WINS in the place that
the old man SHOULD haze occupied The cercmo.
ny was duly pcriormcd--,he ring ws, duly passed
and the young lady WINS TO all intent, and purpo,
SEES Mrs Jones
The dance was then started, and kep, up til
near midnight About that time the influence Of
tho liquor was rapidly leaving the brain Of tho
| Old mnn, and be beesme anxious 10 retire tc HE
room. He accordingly made such a suggestion
| 10 our freud Jones, who very PROMPTLY told him
there was no room Tor him al the Inn
! mo room br me" sah the old man "wby.
what do you mean SIR ~
II mean exactly wha, say" said Jones'
"lheresno room for you at this houss, sir II
yonwish 10 retire to BID, you had better bun, soma
other place thon this
"Grac Gus - exclaimed the oh man "surely.
SIR you do no; mean to turn my wife and myself
out oil doors at this time Of night"
"lonr wife what do you mean--whcn did
you get wlfel' said Jones sucking in his checks
and biting his tongue III his efforts 10 suppress the
laugh which was ruIsing IN his breast,
"Wby, my dear sir, you surely must be crazv-
wasn't married in this room but three hours ago
and didn't you ofilciate as my waterw
-"lon marrled-and serve rs your wneri--
Well, that IS rich y exclaimed Jones. giving vent
to burst OF laughter which he could no longer
suppress
yes, insist that the marriage ceremony was
performed Between that lady (poniing to the brids)
and myself, in this room, not three hours sncen
"Why, my dear sir" said Jones 'thc lady YOU
speak OF ismy wife not yours, as you seem to
think"
"Wha, do YOU mean am at loss to under.
stand you. Surely you are not drunk, nor nm
crazy. DO you suppose that am so perfect an
lido, as not TO recoilcct Circumstance, and one,
too, tina, interests me so deeply7 DO you think
nm mad sir7'
"No--I do not" said Jones catching I'd tho
old mans last remark II don't think you are
making fool of yourself when voc pretend to
claim the lady in question as your wife In order,
however, TO settle the doubt which seem to ert
in your mind about the matter, wish YOU to ask
my friend Mcdonald, whether or no, the c,rcum.
stances are as have related them. Whatever he
says, will agree too"
Now il happened tina, Nc DonalI wa. one OF
the parties to The hoax but the old man did not
know this, and so he posted of TO ask him whetb.
er he was married or not. Of course tho state.
ment OF Jones was confirmed and the old man
was then really mad-mad as n March hare
lie could not however bear the idea of loosng his
BRIDE, and he asked Mac how il was possible for
him to get her back again In accordance with
the arrangement, Mac told him to purchase her
to bid high or he could not get her With this,
me old man started of TO the chief actor in tho
farce and asked
Is IT possible, sir that You can be Induced to a.
bandon your new bride and resign hor to met II
so, what are the means that shall ADOPT 10 bring
ebou, this much-wishcd for consummation7"
IL Is possible for you, SIR 10 prevail on me tore
sign the lady and you have the means TO do 60.
How and what are ihey3 gaspcd the heart.
broken wretch.
Money! grun,cd ont Jones, with an sccen, tina,
would have conferred honor on the closes, shaving
Jew in existence
How much will five hundred satisfy you'll -'
No
| A thousand2
/ No
4 viii two ihousandl schrceched the old fellow
RI in the most piteous tones imaginable.
1 Jones Wa about TO grunt out a negative again.
bu, Mcdonald loved Joke better than he DID
Jones, so he drew the old man aside aud told him
that Jones' marriage was a boa, nUi advised him
to tell Jones he had disposition TO rob him OF
his bride, but was quite wiling he should keep
her.
nc oId man promptly ioIlowfn The tnsfruc-
tons and added gratis hope that Mr. Jones would
find her du,ful and adecliobate wife
| This frightened our hero; he did'nt exactly un,
derstand 1t The boo, was likely TO get on the
wrong leg,he blood sank from his cheek and
4 rushed TO his heart then back again he faulter-
ingly asked
1 Wont you give two thousand dollars for %
beanhfula britcl
No, said the old man putting hi. foe, pctulanty
on the floor.
Wont you give o ihou.andl
No growied the deceived
Won, You give five hundredl
No would Mt give the first red cent
\ Well,:hen you may hsve her for nothing, Tor 4
wont keep Der, screamed Jones as he grabbed his
hat and put for ,Le door
Subsequently, a convention was held between
the pnHIes and the old man finally con,enied 10
take bis ueacherous bride back to he hear, The
bes Of the Joke was that Jones wa, ss badly
hoaxed az the old man for The ceremony WINS
performed bya fictitious Justice Of the Peace.
a AODEsJ MAr.--Some old bachelor al tho
North sdYsnises for wife and say. that b. viii
marry the hfsl woman he meets who has the follow
ug requisites 49,
"A good temper, health, good understanding: a.
giesbie ph,sognomy, hne hguis, good come mons,
domestic habits, good spirits, resources Of