The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1843-11-18
From the NJ O. Picayune.
HOW TO MAKE A TEETOTALLER.
EVAPORATION, ITS PowER-oR, THE INGE-
NuITY OF TIrpLiNG RATS.

and his stock is not more noted for its yarict,
than Tor the superiority Of the several article
; which he keeps on hand. His per centage on tin
sale of Monongahela whiskey through the veal
/, would by a man ofmoderate notions, be reckone,
liberal incoming. Customers came so quick t.
purchase, that, TO save the trouble oftoo treeuen
) recurrence to the barrel, he has been in the ha
bit of keeping sample bottle in the store, AWAY,
full or partially so, for their trial and inspection
lie had found Tor a long time that the contents
OF the sample botte'decreased very rapidly daily
and in manner, at first, very mysereusly, lie
soon learned, however, that "Sampson,'' the mo-
gro who said in the store, was any thing but q
Washingtonian, and that he tried the strength OF
the Mononsahela otener than the whoe of his
customers. DESTROYS to know if his conscienti-
BUSINESS was as large as his alimentivencss he
said to him on Monday sc'n-night, Sampson,
how is it that the whisksy in the sample bottle
diminshes so fast Why It has to be filled dailv!'
'Clar Co massa, doesn't know" said Sampson
looking as serious as Il converted sinner at tt
canpmeetng, but links massa, it is carried of
by de principles oh wot white folk call Evaporation
80, you do, Sampson" said MrC.
Il does, sartain, massa," said Sampson
''cause | tells you dat ere 'waporations right
strong gosh, it aint left drop o. hard
cider in de country. thinks it's dat wot
makes de whisky so scarce, and not &c
temp'rance movement, as dey calls it.''
"Well, then Sampson" said Mr.. c., Hhll
the bottle now, and will cork it so tisht
as to prevent evaporation"
"'Es, sa," said Sampson.
lie filled the bottle, his master corked
1t, evaporation tight, and again it was plac-
ed on the shelf Again on Tuesday
morning it was found to have decreased
considerably in quantity, and still more
towards noon.
swell, Sampson" said Mr.. c., "a find
the whiskey is still rapidly decreasing
How do you account for it now?n
"Wa- wall, 1t ba berry hard to 'splain,
massa," SAID Sampson, sit be one OBJ dose
'sterlous disappearance wot niggers can't
count for and wat sometimes puzzles
white folks, | tell YOU"
"But what is your opinion?" said Mr.
"Wal-al, links, "said Sampson, sto tell
goramighl'y trul, dat de rats be drinkin' it
for dey hasn't joined de temp'rance 'sIetv,
as knows on"
~ IS, "sald Mr.. c., but when it would
get d own al the centre Of the bottle, how
would the rats manage to get at it then?1
~ ah! yah yah - said Sampson, but,
supressng suddenly his cachnnalons. he
added, "look heah, massa, was lust a
goln' to say as how you was green.
Now. does you linh as how dem ere wot
you sees bout de store, and wot's so
much in dc carbarct at de corner-dnes
you tink, axes, dat SEEM so many takln'
juIeps on the suctin princerpIe, dat dev
doesn't know de use oh straw Wal, |
recon day does, massa."
'Well, then, Samps on, nsaid Mr.. c., "il
the sample bottle can neither be preserved
from the rats or evaporation, must only
submit 10 the loss, and fill it whenever il
is empty. Fill it now and leave it again
on the shelf, and ! care not whether YOU
cork it or not.
Mr. G. told an acquaintance of his, an
apothecary, of SIMPSONS parliality for
the sample bottle, and asked him if he
could not give him some decoc,ion to
mix with it, which, while it would not
vislbly alter lis color or taste would prove
less agreeable to Simpsons system than
the pure Monongahe!a. The apothecary
told him he could, and, on the Tuesday
before last he furnished the required pre-
paration. Sampson was sent out on an
Grand in the early part of the day, and in
his absence the obnoxious ingredients
were introduced into the whiskev. To
give Sampson better scope, when he re-
turned, his master went out and slaid a
waylong enough to give the sample-tas-
ting Sampson full play at the bottle
When he returned, he noticed strange
and peculiar rolling of SIMPSONS eyes
his lips were the color of stale venson. s.
he had all the singular characteristics in
his appearance of "a sick niger" MrC
managed TO keep him pretty busy, and al.
though appearing not to notice him, close.
watched his movements.
"Won' he'd shout, raising his leg uy
against his stomach, but still cndeavoring
10 conceal Lis pain from his master, anC
again he would excaim, 'ah F.! czech
Woo! goyamigh'y!' and he would brace
his belly round with his hands and arms
AT length, hndlng himself growing worse
that there was no chance of the pai;
abating, he threw himself on the floor and
roared out, 20, massa, massa, dis child Is
gone nigger-ah! a-ah! o-o-oh!''
"Why. what's the matter, SampscpN
said Mr. c. appearing to be suddenly as
tonished at the state of SIMPSONS bowels
"Oh massa. massa," said Sampson. oh
ee! ah! o-o-oh! mass, Pse gone chicken:
alb! ee!n and he wriggled about on the floor
like pea on grindIe. his eyes revolving
like the beacon of a lighthouse. and his
color changing like a dying dolphin.
"Why, what's the matter with you?-
said his master.
go, dosen't know, massa." said Samp-
son, "but guess l'se got the Tyler grippe
n