Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1843-06-24
hey oud cure, | imagine


Pray Mr. C, be not afraid TO com
municate your troubles TO me. Perfectly
confidential, you know
well, then, doctor have had the
misfortune TO loose Hare Har-
ry heayed piteols sigh, and was ST.
lent.
Tell it, sir, tell it. Rccollect that
am physician, and that It is not al
ways impossible TO cure "a mind dis
eased.' -
well then, sir, as you are so kind as
TO request i'll have lost a favorite dog,
and yonder is his skeleton.
The doctor sprang ron his seat as if
grenade or hom5 had exploded be.
meath him.
DO you mean to insul, me in my own
house, Mr c.? DO YOU mean to in
suit me here, sir!' Aud he looked as if
ready 10 anal omise Harry.
i mean 10 say tins, DOCTOR replied
Harry, rising from his scat, that the
bones IN that giISS show case, were,
! iesh- my property. now demand Of
you one hundred dollars for sacrificing
his mortal frame 10 the advancement Of
science aud let you off cheap at that
Sir sad tn doctor, his face scarle.
with rage, that uppy yondar was found
IN my gro rn1s, End lawfully ordered
his destruction. For Ight know, sir,
and from your conduct. think it proba.
bIe, that you "ere his companion, peg
haps his broIher.'
well, DOCTOR said Harry with the
utmost compoSure, I'D rather acknowl-
edge that dog ifliving, for brother,
than you as a sixteenth cousin. Since
you are so fonl of anatom sing, | will
lake god care that you don't lack for
subjects. Sayi & this he departed.
The next day the following advertise
mint appeared in morning paper:
"DUGS, CATS AND PIGS WANT.
hl-Any one who has TO dispose Of
twenty full grown but small sized cur
dogs, the more snappish the better, tom
cats, aid ten half grown kittens, and
hne, lively, small sized roasting pigs,
VIII find cash purchaser at No.-Park
Row this evening at o'clock"
1t was getting towards ten on the
| nIght Of the same day when the doctor,
With his wife, sister, and other female
relatives, were about to depart TO attend
fashionable party. Just Is they reach.
ed The entry,thc door bell was rung VIC
Ienlly, and the doctor, without waiting
Tor the servant, opened the door himself
Instantly IT seemed as iC be liam had bro
ken loose. Two men with huge bags
suddenly freed Il gang Of dogs
Both mongreI, puppy, whep InI hound, and cur,
Of low degree"
INTO the entry, and closing the door ont.
SIDE the yelping, noise, confusion, dread
! and terror inside can be imagined. The
doctor rushed for the garrett, (he had a
great fear of the hydropho5ia) the wo.
men fled into the kitchen, and the dogs
mad fall possession Of the house for up
wards OF an hour. Such an advent ne
yer before took place, and the doctor
was obliged 10 call for aid from tho win
dow ere the dogs could be expelled.
The next night a similar admission OF
cats and kittens took place whilst the
family were in led, Git was evident some
of The servants had been bribed TO leave
he entrance unlocked,) and the CATER
wauIIng, scratching and fighting Of the
feline race aroused the whole block
On the third nighttime grunting OF an
old sow and litter Of pigs upset the do
nestle equanimity Of the Doctors house.
hold, and finding discovery vain, but
we'll suspectlng the cause, he the next
morning wrote to Harry c.:
Sir Enclosed is my check for one
hundred dollars for your dead dog. As
my house is not Noah's Ark. | trust
that hereafter you will find some other
habitation where you can deposit AMI
mails to suit yourselves. am, &c.
NJ. ID.
This elected the following reply
DEAR DoCroR.-The hundred dollars
IS acceptable. Although not pretending
to know whether you keep an ark or
not, am aware you do recepIacls for
beasts-witness poor Ponto's skeleton.
! yesterday purchased a broken down
ass, Tor the purpose of allowing you TO
| Il issect and anatomise one Of your COLA
tera' relatives. You need have no fear
of his entering your habitation, for he
has scarcely strength to open his eyes,
much less ascend steps. lie mas NJ ID.
attached to his name, for he is literally
Most Dead! Few Doctors, who have
dying patients, possess a clearer claim
to the title. Yours in health,
HARRY c.
No further correspondence ever took
place.
IMPORTANT TO rHE LADIES An Eng
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