The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1843-07-29
KEEP OUT OF TIE KITCHEN.
"Where ignorance is bliss
IT'S folly to be wise"

In our college day we ence strolled into
the kitchen of the great hall, being 'natur-
ally curious to learn how cooking was
managed on scale so extensive as to
meet the wants of some 200 students. II
was quarter of an hour before breakfast
and an enormous kettle, filled with coffee.
Gas it was denominated) hung gloomily
over the fire.-As Its contents boiled and
dubbed, we observed eyer and anon some
dark substance, evidently too large to be
grain of coffee, rising to the surface, and
instantly ducklng down, as if its deeds
were evil What was il2 Of that very
same liquid in fifteen minutes we were to
partake; we were to persuade our palate
that it was bona fiide coffee, despite all
insinuations that it wade of poplar leaves
and damaged ryc.-What could that mys-
terious black substance be? Was it a
sturgeon, or a negro's head, or a stove
pipe2 The question was one of great
personal interest-curiosity took the
alarm-our evil star had provided cane
we plunged it into the boiling ocean
before us, and raised it to the fair light OF
the laughing morn, an old hat. Heavens!
what discovery-even now we tremble
at the horrd recollection.
In few minutes we were in the break
fast hall, carrying the hat on the canes
point. There were our classmates mas
ticating,. with all their might, the toughest
head in Chrlslendom, and puring down
their devoted throats cup after cup of that
internal beverage. took my place next
to my old friend, Frank Stanley.
Frank, what are you drinking'
Coffee
will you take your oath Of ,hatP
what the deuce do you mean2'
81 have been in the Kitchen have
made terrible discovery-put down that
cup, for mercy's sake"
Here the whole table caugh; the alarm
['speak out, speak ou!' resounded on all
sides
Fellow Juniors, you fondly imagine
that you have been drinking cotiee-no
such thing-you have been drinking
HAT -SOUP-here is the hat ilsell-hod-
ing up the still reeking and horrible mass,
which had been boiled to polygor-five
minutes ago ished this out Of the coffee
kettle!'
That same Junior Glass was composed
of as many reckless dare devils as were
ever congrcgated under one rooi-th y
cared nothing for thunder claps, OF Stages
in the progress of being capsized-they
had once set at defiance all the militia Of
county; hut this discovery was
too much for them-every one was ap-
palled, and they all left the room mutter-
ing execrations. That night the cook
was tarred and lealhered, and rode on II
rail, and the keeper of the hall was burnt
in efiigy. never took another cup Of
college coffee.
The story has its moral. Curiosity,
which kicked Eve out of Eden, and sent
DR.. Faus,us to old Nicholas, famiiarly
called old Nick, is fatal to the physical
as it is to the intellectual appetite. The
tree of knowledge is not the tree of life
and if we gather the fruit of the former,
we lose our relish for that of the latter
Reader, if you are inclined to inquletude
If you live in after-dinner dread of APP
poplexy-in three weeks you will be as
thin as Cassius with his hungry look
But if you wish to enjoy the good things
of life, seek moi to be wise, but above all
things, KEEP OUT OF TIE HITCH
EN-.