Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, 1843-07-08
Keep out OF the Kitchen.
"Where ignorance is bliss
'Tis folly TO he Mi.e.N


'Tis folly to I've wi-e."
In our college days we once strolled into the
kitchen Of the great hall, being "naturally Gu
rious" to learn now cooking was managed on |
scale so extensive as to meet the wants of some |
200 students. II was a quarter of an hour be- |
fore breakfast and an enormous kettle, filled
with coffee, (as it was denominated) hung gloo-
mily over the fire. AS its contents boiled and
bubbed, we observed ever and anon some dark
substance, evidently too large TO be grain Of
coffee, rising to the surface, and instantly duck
ing down, as fits deeds we're evil. What was
it! Of fthat very same liquid in fifteen min
utes we were to partake; we were to persuade
our palate that it was not bona fde coffee, des
pite all insnuations that it was made of poplar
leaves and damaged rye. What could that
mysterious black substance be Was it a
| sturgeon, or q negro's head, or a stove pipe
The question was one of great personal interest
curiosity took the alarm-our evil star had
provided cane-we plunged it into the boiling
ocean before us, and raised to the fair light Of
the laughing morn, al, old hat. Heavens what
discovery--even now we trembe at the hor
rid recollection.
In few minutes we were in the bseakfast
hall, carrying the hat on the canes point.
There were our classmates masticatng, with
all their might, the toughest bread in Christen-
dom, and pouring down their devoted throats,
cup after cup of that internal beverage. | took
nv place next to my old friend, Frank Stan
| ley.
Frank, what are you Drinking
Coffee
'Will YOU take an oath of that "
What .he deuce do you mean
Il have been in the ktchen-I have made n
terrible discovcry--put down that cup for mer-
cy's sake
Here the whole table caught the alarm.
Speak out, speak out resounded on all sides.
Fellow Juniors, you fondly imagine that
you have been drinking cofee--no such thing
You have been drinking HAT-SOUP-here
is the hat itsel'--holding up the still reeking
and horrible mass, which had been boiled to a
polygon-.five minutes ago | fished this out o
the cofee-kette
; The same Junior Class was composed of as
many reckless dare devils as were ever con-
, gregated under one root-they cared nothing
f for thunder caps, or stages in the process OF be
, ing capszed-they had once set at defiance al
militia of -- country but this disco
very was too much for them-every one wa.
, appalled,, and they all left the room mltterins
! execratons. That night the cook was tarreC
a and feathered, and rode on a rail, and the kee
: per of the hall was burnt in efigy. neye
. took another cup of college coffee.
e The story has its moral. CuriDsity, whic
$ kicked Eve out of Eden, and sent DR.. Fautu
e to old Nicholas (familiary called old Nick)
!, fatal to the physical as it is to the intelecua
k appetite. The tree of knowledge is not tn
t. tree of life-and if we gather the fruit Of tn
former, we loose our relish for that OF the latte
Is Reader, ifyon are inclined to nquietude-
d you live in after-dinner bread Of apoplexy-i
l. three weeks you will be as thin as Cassiu
} without his hungry look But if you wish I
r. enjoy the good things of life. seek not to
T. wise, but above all things, keep out Of n
&c kitchen.