Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1843-05-11

IN home, Billy, SavIn' and eXceptn'
when you Gait help il, why it's perfect,
Iy redcIilis. lf peoples oprnyIas could
be made TO agree, that would be one
thing. and you might 90 home. But rs
these oPinyius don't agree, why that's
another thing, and iI's best to clear out
and keep out, jist as long as you kin =
What's your sltIvation when YOU do 90
homr? There's the old man, and there's
the old woman and the rest Of Ihem.hu
tim your feelins as bad as ic hey was
KILN kittens with brick hat. As soon
rs you're inside Of the door, they sing
out like good fellers, Ell waggy bone!-
tio! no! lazybools!- helow loaler!-
IN IN I good for your Wholesome To be 50
alfred induStriouS.' That's the way
they keep gO.n' on, nggrayatIn' yuu
for everlssliu'. They don't understand
my complimentary can't understand
man that's lookln' up to better things =
tell you, Billy exclaimed Nicholas,
with tears in hts eyes, 'wAcn fellea IS
any sort Of a teller, like YOU and me
Yes replied Billy, complacently,
we're the felicrs lit lakes US
when IA lrlier'S any sort OF n felier
10 be kctched al home is little better
than bein' n mouse in wine trap. They
poke sticks in your eye, squirt cold wa
ter on your nose, and show you TO the
cat. Common people, Billy--low orne
ry, common people. can't make it on,
when naIur's raised a gentleman IN the
famlsy--a gentleman all complete. onIv
the moneys been forgot. It a man
won't work all the t.me--day in ana day
outfit he smokes by the fire, or whis.
ties out OF the windcr, The very gals
bump agln him AMI say &c; out Of .he
way, loaf! Now what say is this
# people hasn't h ad gentccl lu,chin' up.
you can no more expect 'cm to behave |
as If hey had been fetched up geniee,
than you kin make good scgars out OF
broo IN handle.'
That are fact CALCULATED Billy |
Bunkers, with emphasis, for Billy has |
experienced in his time treatment at
home somewhat similar t. that complain |
cd of by Nicholas No likins
But, Billy, my son, never mind, and |
keep not Ieltin' on continued NollikIns,
and beam Of hope irradialed his other |
wise saturnine CONFERENCE.-The worlds
IA railroad, aud the cars is comin'--alI
we'll have TO do is To jump in, chalkcd
Tree There will be a time--something
must happen. Rich widders are about
yet, though they are snapped up so fast.
Rich wIddeIi, Billy, are SPECIAL provi.
dcnces, us my old boss u-ed To say when
he broke his nose in the eniry, sent
here like RATS 10 pick up deScrvn' shars
when they can't swim no longer. When
you've been down twy'st, Billy, and are
Jist off agiu' then comes the widdcr a
tioalIn' along. Why. sp'a uer, docks is
nothn' TO ii, and wilder is he best of
all life Preservers when a man is most
case, like YOU and me-
We'll, I'm not parlicklar. not I, nor
never was III take wider, for nv
part, If she's got the mint drops, and ne
yer ask no questions. I'm not proud
never was harrys;Ocratlc--ld drinks with
any body and smokes all The cigars thew
give me. What's the use OF bein stu.k
up, stiff It's my principle that other
folks are nearly as good as me, If they're
not constabIes nor aldermen. can't !
stand them Sort
No Billy, said Nolikins, with an en- |
couraging smile, no, Billy, such indi. |
wldooais as them don't know human ma |
mr'--Lut. as was goin 10 saw. If there
happens TO be a short crop OF widders.
why can't somebody leave us fortin'?
That will do as well if not better. Now
look here--w hats easier than this? I'm
standin' on the wharf.-the rich man
tries TO 20 aboard OF the steambo ai--,hr
nIggers push him off the plank--in
goes,ca splash! The . Id gentleman isn't
drowned but he m ght have been drown.
cd but for me, aud ii he had bin where's
the use Of his money then2 SO he gives
me as much as J want now, and a great
deal more when he defuncts rIggler, &C.
cordln' 10 law and the practice Of civil
lied nations. You sec-that's the way
the thing works. Pm at the wharf eve.
ry dhy-cab't afford 10 lose the chance.
and begin TO wish the old chap would
hurrah about comm along What can
keep himY
IF 1t 'ud come to the same thing in the
end, remarked Billy Bunkers. I'D ra
Their the nlggers would push tie old
mans little boy into the wafer, if IFS all
the san TO him Them fut old fellers
are so heavy when they re skesred, and
hang on so, Why ! might get drowned
before had time 10 90 10 the bank with
the check! But what's the use Of wait
nR Couldn't we shove 'em in some
warm afternoon ourselves? Who'd know
IN the crowdp
1--WE thought Of that, Bunkers, when
a man was before me that locke like the
RICH sort. I've often said to myself,
my friend, how would you like TO be