Wheeling times and advertiser. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1839-1849, 1843-09-21

SohSiudtu5 luGS-
And II yOur nam' be certainly John Mutt.
Why, then, the devil crack you"
One pleasant Sunday morning Mackay
went To church by times, look his sea,
IN a%centrOl pew, jos; under the shadow
ol the pulpit, and set bolt upright WIKI
hlS arms extended with au apparent dc
gree OF unnatural rigidIty down by has
sides. lie was presently surrounded "a
halt a dozen females, neatly al. 81 ~ houa
were strangers 10 HIS person, NaJ JD n
little time the Ch4rch VAS i.II u over
ing. The psalm WAS So :He PRAYER
vas said, the sermon ts..,--,G ll .lo
preachers les. SNe, BE lsS.. aFE-
ularly on the requirements Il. .ue s-rAl
preceptS ct broyaerly .o.e ogca .rc
beauty OF universal -1easvc.scc-. on rhe
pleasure winch arises o-l vrIy E-C.u
clothing the uUNci aud .cct.cs the han.
Try, bat Irln attention 20 .trs a,slu.s
and graceful courls>iss anI ShSrJ.5sS ot
u e, by " lch he .horay DatnS are <o.
tened and adorned. In ths language Of
the critics IN such matters, ',thcrs Was
not a dry eye IN the place the appeal
had found IS way TO every heart. All
Mackay's immediate nelgnbors were
senslbly affected. ne wept with them.
the big lie as chased each other down
his cheeks. But while every one vas
~ with their SaudkerchicrS. w.ping
away the water hat iEe orator, like a
,econd Moses, had, BY the strokes Of his
eloqHence, caused to gush their hinty
hear :. Mack held his arms stIiT and
straight, while half a glass Of liquid SUI.
fused MS face lie wrigg ed, hdgilcd,
locked confused and mt testing, buu
raised no hand, searched for NJ hand
kcrchiel, and seemed 10 be in deep dis
lress At length a young widow lady,
who sat bcsiie him, remarked that he
was i'll At ease, aud Heaven bless the
female heart! Il always meits at any
mysterious sorrow after one or two
down cas-. looks and huItering pauscs,
she SAID IN an undGr tone.
Pray, sir, A. any thing the matter
with YOU. You appear to be unwell /"
"Ah, madam brearhcd Mackay in "A \
whisper, - am a poor paralysis, andi
have lost the use oil my arms. lhough
my tears have flowed in u swer to the
touching sentiments Of the pastor,
have not the lower 10 wipe them a.
way
In an instant n fair hand was thrust
into a rit cule, and a white handkerchief
scented with otto OF roses. was appIi e.
10 Mackly'S eyes, the fair 81 aritau
seemed 10 ~reioIce in this first opportun;-
~ Of praclIcIng What had Oecn SO re-
Gently preached, appeared 10 polish them
with right good Will. When she was
done, MacEby, looked unutIerablc obi
gatIoas, but whispered hat she would
increase then u thousand fold lr she
would, as II wanted II very much, con.
deScen 10 " PC his nose. The novelty
oil the request vas thought nothing of.
the widow was proud Of the p~rompiitude
she had displayed in ~succouring the dis.
tressed, and 10 a person who has done
one kind action, the second seems al
ways easy. Her white hand and still
winter handkerch ef were raj ed 10
Mackay'S cut water, but the moment il
was completely cnveloped in the folds
OF tae cambrlck, he gave such a sneeZe
as made the whole church ring-it was,
IN TACT, more like "A neigh. The minis
ter paused IN giving out the HYMN; the
aedcoh.S put on Their spcctacles to see
what could De ihe matter, and IN an in.
slRnt every eye was turned upon Mack.
ly and the fair Samaritan, the latter of
whom being so in ten, on her object, or
so c~oniounded by the general ]no,orieiv
she had acquired, still convulsiyely
grasPed the nose.
There were hundreds of pers ms in
hatchurch who knew Mackay and his
~proPensrtIes we'll, and a single glance
was sufficient 20 convince them that Il
successful hoax had bcen played for their
amusement a general litter ran a.
round the place, 'hods and becks and
wTeathed smiles were the order of The
day. Men held down their heads and
laughed outright, and the ladies' stuffed
their scented haudkerchiefs into their
mouths, which had been so recently an.
Piled To the sparkling fonts above.
? AT length something like order was
restored-the hymn sung. the blessings
given a midst stuffed noises Of varioUs
kinds, when the congregation O 10 de.
part The widow, Up to this point.
, feeling strong in the consciousness oil
having performed a virtuous action up
D on a good looking face, needed not the
gaze Of The curious, nor the smiles Of tho
mirthiul, but what was her as,onish
& ment when MaCkay rose from his seal
lifted up one Of his paralylic hands. an,
took his hat from a peg above his head
S and with the other began searching M
coat pocket for his gloves! Though IN,
o unkindest cut Of all Is yet TO come, TO
hackay having drawn them on. and o..
|pencd the pew door. turnad aDI NM tLt.