Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1843-03-02
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Al JoLLr RED NosE A capital story
10 told 10 the Register. Of "a man silh
mos, resplendent and 6ery pro5Oseisi = 10
wenito Albany for The purpose Of asking
an pfia< Boack. Being caution
ed roiy sefors The Governor (who
Is ! strong Temperance msn) in thot nose:
be. by the advice Of . waggish physician,
applied flsxseed pouliice 10 il before
going 10 bed, The night previous 10 bis II
ieneed call on the Governor. The next
morning he appeared al the breakfast Ia
bio of The hotel, with bis nose bleache5
and parboiled. looking for all The world |
like wsshsfwoman's thumb The doc.
Tor was himself an applicant for Office. !
living 10 the same hotel, and bad advised
The pouliice only in joke but when be
,foend The man. had actually applied III be
let the cat out OF the bag. The boaIders
were accordingly on the look out for The
patient 10 the morning, and whea the
nose appeared, there was such--s roar Of
laughter a, the table, that TIE poor fellow
bad 10 change bis lodgings before calling
upon the temperance Goysrnor.
THB CMBRrLLA BustNxsss- Hopkins
once LENT Simpson, his next door neigh.
boors1n umbrella. Youwill judge Of The
intellect Of Hopkins not 90 much from
stk6 act Of lending IAN umbrella, but from
his insane sndeayour 10 gel III back again.
II poured 10 torrents Hopkins had an
urgent call. Hopkins knocked al STmp-
sons door: ~ want my umbrella. -
Now Simpson also had call in directly
opposite way TO Hopkins. and With the
umbrella ID his hand was advancing 10 the
threshold. II tell you" rosred Hopkins,
n want my Umbrella "Can' thaveil
said Simpson, at the same lime extend.
ing the machine dedicated 10 Jupiter p!u
RUS. "Why, / want 10 go to the east
end--it rains 10 torrents" "Whai !"
screamed Hopkins. ''what am ! 10 do fol
an umbrella r. IDOL" answered Simp-
son, darling from The door, do as did ];
borrow one !"
A stump orator 10. the West uses The
following appropriate language: 81 ]
am elected to this office, | will represent
my constituents as the sea represents the
earth, or the night contrasts with the day.
Twill unsivst human society, clean all lis
parts, and screw it together again. ! viii
correct all abuse. purge cat all corrap.
tion, and 90 through The enemies Of our,
party like ratithrough new cheese
Ny chief re coIhmendstioni are, that at
the public dinnsrgi2en 70 -, ale
mors than any two linen al the ;ahle-st
the late election | put in three votss for
the party-l We just bought new suit 81
clothes that win do to wear 10 Congress,
and I've So, the handsomesl sister 10 old
kentuck.
What can man do asked gy,Ietn one
yesterday. when the sherifis seen COM
ing up 10 him with wril i'd his handH +
Apply the remedy said a knowing
one, with<a shrug.
.fsRemedyl what kind Of ! remedyr
The AeeGag remedy, You goose-ruh
like The devil
S Our motto il Cash Is. and We don't go
Tor the Ssise erS.- Times.
a more general metto now a-days Is
Cash oics; and it is nor every body who
can say with olhsllo, 20, Ders ds-mOeat'
tPhiI Forum.
A Vermont editor thu. advises The
young ladies' in those diggins when
you have got man~to the sticking point,
that 10, when be proposes. don't turn a.
way your head or affect blush, or~rsier
him to pa, or ask for more time all those
tricks are understood now; but just look !
him right in the face, give him hearty
smsek, and tell him 70 50 and order ths
A Paris paper, samong other Munehap
sen stories Of the triumphs Of Fanny Ells-
Ter 10 this country, says that MT. Vsn |
Bofen popped The Sasstion' 10 her, but
she would not consent 10 share The Re. |
publicfRssltone |
Why does Jewel wiggle hi.tsil, 70?
Because he is pleased my son.
A few days afterwards. 1.-The son skinned
al eeEby way ofrecreation.
How could you be 90 cruel, my boy 4 |
Cruel, pap The eel wiggled lis tail all !
The time. and so I'M sure he was wonder |
fully pleased
OFFICIAL WIT.-Gov. Morton fof Mas.
is tall, spare man. aud Lieu |
tenant Governor Childs is below the ordi-
nary stature. On the day Of their inaug.
uFaiion The ex-Ssefeiary Bigelow remark.
ed that ia bis opinion the Commonwealth |
had now got THE long and short Of the |
Democracy Of Massachusetts This tal.
n caused rosrs Of laughter. amid which
the Secretary gracefully retired.
MATRIMONIAL MlsERY.-A Mr.. Pear.
son, Of Indiana. asks ahe Legislature OF
hat State to divorce him from "a noisy |
and turbulent wife, who ''Palmed her
eli upon him. and told him in cold blood |
hat she liked another man. better than