Richmond daily Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1842-1861, 1843-07-18
Nec and important Lnr Rook.
There is somewhere pathetic epitaph upon
some depIorabIe person or other which saws:
July c, 1913.


There is somewhere pathetic epitaph upon
some dePlorable person or other, which says:
on reader. II thou eanst read
Look down upon tins stone
Death a DO what can
That spaIeih
We are often tempted to exclaim, in like man.
ner, when we have glanced at the columns of the
official nonsense of John Jones,
"oh reader II that thou eanst read"
the Madsonian, thou wilt surely have had hard
work of it Coptic or Ethopic is nothing to him,
the inscrutable inscriptions of Persepos easy, and
heroglyPhics of all sorts are as plain as A c in
comparison:
For true no meaning puzzles than
Some beams Of sense can pierce the thickness of
other mems skulls, and make kind of interval in
their stupidity but the solid opacity of Johns head
intercePts every thing like ray of thought No
stray sunbeam ever slipt through any crack or
Granny into his brain. He may cry, with Samp.
son,
Oh DARK DARK, dark, amid the blaze Of noon,
Irreeoveraby dark eclipse
Without all hope day,
Johns productions, in the newspaper way, are
about dry the Great Desart. about as solid as
the Great Serbonian Bog,
BetviEr Damera Mount Casius Old,
Where armies whole sunk
No ice-field Of the far North against which Back or
Ross ever went to break his vessels nose but is
warm TO Johns wit. Let no man ever think of
making the Northwest passage of Johns stupidi-
/ ty; for he'll find il frozen To the Pole The geo.
graPby-books are certainly all wrong, when they
tell us that Mexico is the biggest gulph, or Bscay
Is the storIniest gulph Johns folly is a noisier
gulf than the one and huger gulf than the other.
so pray, Mr. Farley, set that right in your next
edition. Then that celebrated chasm, which
! Grimshaw's Goldsmith's Roman History tells MS
about, as having opened in the midst of the Ro.
man Fonm-what was it to such a chasm as John
Jones! Or what was Manlius, that threw himself
into it, in comparison with the editor of the Globe
who has lately, pro bono puJiioo, leaped headlong
man and horse, into John Jones
But surely, gentle reader, you cannot read, il
you have not read the late controversy between
these two. Nothing can he more historical, moth
ing more romantic, nothing more epic-cspeciall,
in its length. In conformity with Aristotle's nilei
for the Epopee, il consists Of ~ books. There i.
fine parcel Of Supernatural Machinery in il. A
god steps in, and then, TO help this or tina
warrior: Mr.. Benton spreads his shield over Riyes
and Isaac Hill snatchcs off John Jones and mend,
his head, when he is noored The "Wrath o
Achilles" is nothing to It. The quarrel, too, Il
as illustrious the combatants is Gain, as wei
as Glory, that fires them. They fight for the Pub
lie Printing, which one Of them has lost and IN,
other may not get. As in the Had, the battle +
now by the Scamander, now at the ships, and nov
by the city wall 80 they draw out to engage, nov
IN Pennsylvania Avenue, now by Goose Creek. -
In one terrible onset the valiant John drives his nd
vcrsary quite down 10 the Globe Office. There
however, he rallies, and chases the terrible Johi
even into his own backyard Nor are Episode
wanting, as tender the Parting Of Hector an
Andromache. The history Of Mr. Rvcs' court
ship and marriage is inimiiabe. But Of course
ends the story, as Marriage or Hanging Away
does modern romances.
We learn Mat the Jurisprudence Of the s,untr
is 10 profit by ~ contest almost as much as lis Ii
terature has dom. They are about TO issue, fror
the Globe press, new and enlarged edition Oft
excellent Law Bod Rires' Domestic Relations,
with valuable Nd IS, by that learned barristei
John Jones. II appear as a supplement to tn
Extra Globe.
The correspondent referred TO s unayodably postponed