Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1843-06-09
MISCELLA Y.
DEA. CARPENTERS HARD CASE.

DANIEL DINGHY SQUASH CORNER, STATE OF MAINE
Author of the Sleigh Ride" aud Patty Beams Couhip"
Edicaon is grand thing in the world. 1t does
help along amazingly. And the more see of ig
norance the more despise it. attn going 10
give al account OF the troubles aud tribu laon OF
Deacon Carpenter, just 10 show what an ugly
thing ignorance is. Nobody would believe how
much ii cost him, both in money and consarn Of
mind, to master single hard word he found ia
the newspaper. But | must tell the story from
beginning to end, and then it will be seen wheth
er ] am fool or not.
The first beginning of trouble with Deacon
Carpenter was owing 10 the Iooseness of his hair
What that was owing to il is not for me TO say
His sister Sukey told him il was old age. But she
is little good-for nothing tease, that Suke.-
Being a single man. the Deacon is kinder tender
and touchy about his age, and that is enough to
keep her harpne upon it forever and ever. Let
her alone for finding out the Deacon's toe, if
he has one, and tramping upon it as often she
had chance. But nobody else calls the Deacon
old. Ii is common thing TO hear folks say, show
young the Deacon looks!" and widow Green is
ready 10 swear he is not over five years older than
she is and she is quite young woman consider
ing
My opinion is, that the Deacon chaws too much
tobacker. But no matter what The reason was,
the Deacon's hair got loosened at the roots, and
begun to slip off not fast but steady, and at a
rate to clear his sea p in time and leave him as
bald as the Prophet Elisha. The Deacon was a
good plous man, and ae deacon ought 10 he. M
man hated pride and vanity more than lie did
But he thought his hair was pretty. The story
goes that he liked look at it in the ooking-glass
and precious time was spent in combing and greas-
ing with paient bears grease, too. But he was
snug, aud nobody suspected he had any regards
for his outer man at all. You would as soon ex
pect to see him dancing jig as making fuss a
bout his locks and curs.
Vol no far ynII n.
cons head OF huir is most amazing one. 1t was
d full crop, warrant ye. 1t lay all over his head
in thick flakes of sort OF sandy brown color
and his two looked from behind like pair o
cart wheels under load of hay. Finally, 1t was
nest for the Evil One. AS there was no othe
nook or cover about the Deacon for the Old Boz
10 Turk in he had to sneak in there, and make th'
best OF it.
But if the Old Harry wanted help to turn thu
Deacon from the straight PATH the women wer'
always at hand There was a great pulling o
caps for the Deacon at Squash Corner, whelhe
for true love or houses aud land, or greater com
forts, is not for me to say. Besides, Huldah Horn
beam, she that give Mr.. BeadIe such kick in hi
stomach, there was the widow Green and Two o
three more. But the widow took the rag off G
the bush. BY making much OF sister Sukey, sh
found out the right handle to take hold of the dea
ION by, and she made right for his hair, laid VIC
le,. hands upon it, and with the help Of Sukt
CdIEiSn OH Il euouBH iluho u
nest. The Deacon was terrible mad, wasn't he
and folks said, How fond that are widow Gree
is of sandy brown hair"
Hern is yalier.
But cutting off with scss0rs or even shears
nothing; il is this regular coming out by root
constant bidding good by TO old friends one aft
another, that goes to The heart. Ii was harder vi
on the deacon, because he kept his trouble all
himself. He didn't even tell his mother, Tor lei
Suke would get hold OF the story. But that lo
ing sister did not leave him long under the weig
of that secret. She noticed that he scratched b
head of late with only one finger aud despert car
full with that. This was enough, and one day 81
says to the Deacon, says she,
"Eli-bow old must an old bachelor be whit
he begins TO moull?'
That are Suke Carpenter is everlasting 10
ment, and that is the TRUTH No respect for Il
Deacon, though he is twice her age. THROWN
old bachelors in his teeth, at all times and seasol
and right afore The widow Green too But Su
had no malice, must say that for her all 81
wanted was to spur up The Deacon to get IN,
ried. She had set her heart upon that-and
was so shy Of the women!
Well, about lhs time when the Deacon "
worrying and iretling, and his hair falling like
leaves in the latter esnd of October, he sol do'
on Saturday evening TO read his newspaper Il
had Jest come in. Now the deacon had his OF
way of reading newspaper. AS he was not
to the new tangled Improvements that have be
made up in the parts OF speech, he was cons,a
ly running agin words that il he could spell
could not understand. Ills way then was 10 g
them the go-by. When he met a hard word
didn't stop to boggle with it, but just called
"sundries," and passed on. So il he ddnt pou
deep, he went over the ground and did his ST.
AS quick as the snarlest hand could do but
time he found lis match. He ran foul of a re
After getting through the politics and murd'
and fires &c. the next thing he came TO was ii
''lnlallibe recipe TO prevent the hair ir
falling OFF,