The Arkansas banner., 1843-11-25
MISC CELLRN EouS.
E,s,n La s1tal.lar c3lHier.
DIsApP0INTING A LANDLORD

4 landlord by the name 9t SefeNtet Atd managed 10 have the stage stop at his house for the passengers to dine, by allowing the driver. Lewis. a fo a head for each dlnner eaten. and the assurance thatI.u7s grog should not cost him a cent; but as the tavern was ten miles frem Parl1eg's, where the passen- gers had formerly dined, and they did not reach it till hals past three, the landlord dis covered, thai, what with the per eeatage te Lewis. and tiie keen appsd.es of the passen- gsrs. who hal tasted nothing from 6 o'clock ile WIS advancing backwards instead O improving his purse by the operation.
 The two worthies held consultation ii which 1t was agreed that Eswis should be behind his time in arriving, and the laniiore late with his dinneg-so that as soon as they had fairly commenced operations, the horn should be blown, and the passengers hurried of oa the plea that the stage could wait no longer.
 Thisga was played forsometime wit1 suc- cess-the hungry passengers grdmbled and scolded Jehu for an hour or so each day but he pocketed the fps and laughed II ilis sleeve.
 It hapoeaeI about this time, that as the grumbling passengers were aaoat leaFng par1sr's. inc old dining house, stout, hearty looking man, comfortably dressed, presented himself at the coach door, and took vacant place on the middle seat. There were three ladies on the back seat, three men on the front seat, and now that an additional pas- sepger had been taken in, three on the mid- de seat-mal1ing full stage load. The new passenger was quite chatty and sociable1 and well acquainted with men and things, and full of aaecdote. He eproved quite al agree able companion. But even his versatility and good nature failed to interest his fellow sufferers long. Hunger was too keen.
 At last, Serewler's fifth-rate house was gained, and after long and ;aatalizing delay, dinner was aanouneed. The gentlemen with ladies had barely found time to help them, and then get cleveTly a-gong themselves to the tune of knife and fork, when
 -Too-too-too-too-o-o-o-o rang the dri- ver's horn at the door of the dining room followed by his loud
 '.Coach right o4, gentlemen Take your seats quick ?
 Up sprang the passengers and scrambled of, some swearing, and some too much ua- der the fear of being left behind, to think of any thing else but getting inside the stage.
 But there was one among them, who was so much engaged that he did not seem 'to hear or sec anything of all this, until another blast rung into the door, and Bonilace touch ed him on the shoulder, with
 s.,Fhe stage is going sir"
 ssBut I've not halflnishad my dinner yet, returned tie passenger, who proved to be the one taken Il at Paftes's; looking up In surprise, and spastesing forth portions of food from his well filed mouth as he spoke.
 'sFm sorry for that, sir" returned Screw Ter, blandly--.. but | can't help it. The dri- yer viii be off ii . moment. He is behind his time now, and must be ia by a certain hour. or he will be discharged"
 .Too-too-too-o-o-s!1 seteama1 the horn, louder than usual, followed by
 s.All on board;n from the driver, who in- siandy disappeared.
 ssfle's getting on his box now, sir, and will start ia momeat,n urged the landlord.
 ssAnd I've paid for my dinner Too bad too bad We'll, hand me back my money; I never pay for what do not receive"
 Il can't do that, sir. Sorry for you. But the fault Is not mine. Ny dinner has been all prepared, and you're welcome to cat it. As matters were thus pressing, the passen- ger did not stop long to barley. DrawiHg from his pocket clean white handkerchief, neatly folded as 1t had left the ironing table, [ he hastily spread 1t open on the table, and turning into 1t fresh dish of boiled eggs, then two or three plates of bread, with sun- dry little nicknackeries, he tied itup quickly, ! muttering to himself all the while in an under tone. Then seizing turkey in one hand, two roasted chickens and his well filled hand- kerchief in the other, he bowed to the land- lord. and said
 ssGood day, sirl plI finish my dinner on the road p
 Screwler was too much surprised and con- founded to interfere.
 Thus equipped, the passengermade his ap- pearance at the coach door, and erowding in, took his place on the middle seat; the ladies twittered, the men laughed or looked grave according to their hGmor, but our hungry passenger seemed ill no way disconnected. .sWon't you have dish, and knife and fork ? asked the landlord, who had recover ed his senses, and came forward, q few mo- ments after the traveller had seated himself, with the articles he named, presenting them as he spoke, with lnock-politc air, intend- ing to dash our hero. But he was not to be thrown off his guard.
 .Thanx you kindlyl' he said, lowing as he received the dish and carving instruments. q had forgotten these."
 As soon as the pair of chickens and the turkey were adjusted on the spacious dish, which the landlord already rePented having put in the incorigible travellers way, the latter sang out at the top of his voice:
 ssAll right, driver! Go aheadr p
 Crack went the whip, and of rolled the stage, leaving Boniface vexed, angry, and yet amused al the ludicrousness of the whole scene
 As for the passengers, all shraak instinct- lively from the meat, bread, SSc., which had hee s ies9leea ess9eea ttllse ttlle Italics turned UP their pretty noses, and ejaculatod III soft low voice:
 'sDisgustingm