The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1843-10-13
.Mornin'.' said the widow. gruflly.

Parson w. told me you was coming, and
| told him Just what tell you, that if you
said CLOTH soap ur chickens TO me.
I'd set ,the dogs on we. Here, Bull !
here, Pompn Two wollish ours respon-
dcd to the call, and laid down on the
steps.-.Now,' continued the old she sa-
yaGe, them's the severest dogs in the
county. Last week, Bill Stonerker's two
year old steer jump'd my yard fence, and
Bull and pomp got him by the throat, and
they killed them alore my boys could
break them loose, to save the world
Yes, a'am,' said we, meekly; Bull
and Pomp seem to be very fine dogs
You may well say that what | tell
them to do, they do-and if | was 10 sick
them on your old horse yonder they'd
eat him up afore you could say Jack Ro-
binson. And IT'S Just what shall do, if
you Try to pry into my consarns. They
are none of your business, nor Van Blu
ren's nuther, | recon. Oh, you old Van
Buren, | wish had you here YOU ras-
cal I'd show you what I'd do-ld make
Bull and P0mp show you how 10 be sem
den out men to take down what little
stuff peoples got, ist TO tax it, when it's
taxed enough Already ~
All this time, we were perspirIng
through fear Of the fierce guardians of the
widows portal. Atlength, as the widow
paused, we remarked, that as she was de-
termined not to answer questions about
the produce of the farm, we would just
set down the age, sex, and complexion
of each member of the family.
No SIGH thing-you do no sich a
thing said she I've got five in family,
and that's all you'll git from me. Old
Van Buren, must have a heap TO do, the
drafted old viIlyan, TO send you 10 take
down how old my children is. I've got
five in family, and they are all between
five and a hundred years old !; they arc al
a plaguy sight whittier than you, and whc
Their they are he or she, is none Of youI
consarns.'
We told her we should report her to
the marshal and she would be fined, but
it only augmented her wrath.
Yes send your marshal, or your Mr.
Van Buren, here, if you're bad of to--le
EN- comc-lct Mr. Van Buren, come
looking as savage us a Bengal tigress--
Oh, wish he would come'-and ne
nostrls djIatcd, and her eyes cleaned
ia Gu, his head of
That might kill him. we ventured tC
remark, by way of joke.
Kill hun kill hun Oh if | hat
him here by the gears | reckon 1co"lC
kill him, A pretty fellow, to be ea'lni
his Willis out'n gold spoons, that poo
. peoples taxed for, and ralsin' an army i
get him made king of Amcriky-the auda
cious, nasty, sinking old scamp ~ Sh
? paused moment, and then resumed
+ And now, mister, jist put down what
| tell you on that piece of paper, and don
. be telling no lies to send on to Waslngto
? city. Jst put down, Judy Tomkins, age
n able woman and four children"
, We objected to making any such entry
D but the old bag vowed that it should b
= done, to prevent any Misrepresentation
= her case. We, however, were pretty r'
S solute, until she appealed to the couchar
= wheIps, Bull and pomp. And at the fir
+ glimpse of their teeth, our courage CAV
e way, and we made the entry in Dol
d hand across blank schedule, 'Jud
\ Tomklns, ageaJlc woman, and four chl
Il dren.'
= We now begged the old lady to dismi'
II her canine friends, that we might 60 OF
1t and depart; and forthwith mounting OF
4 old black, we determined to give the o.
$ soul a parting fire. Turning half roun
Of in order to face her, we shouted
!, odd oman
L. who told you to call me 'old oman
< you long legged, Ratchet faced whel
!, you? I'll make the dogs take you off tn
Id horse, if you give me any more sars
re What do you WANT
IN Don't you want TO get married
I'd Not to you, il do
to Placing our right thumb on the mas
h extremity of our countenance, we sal
We you needn't be uneasy, old 'un, on til
e. score; thought you might suit cross-le
v, ged Dick S. up our way, and shou
~ like to tell him what he might count o
~ if he comes down next Sunday "
Here Bull : shouted the widow, Isl
ce him, Pomp!' but we canlered OIL u
e, wounded, fortunately, by the iangs
re Bull and Pomp, who kept up the cha
CHI as long as they could hear the cheerl
lie voice of their msiress-'S-i.c-k hi
ed Pomp-sck, sick, him, Bull--suboy, :
boy. suboy.'
.,,l 1as liz.