New-York daily tribune., 1843-11-04

He was man, q man Of cash-money in both
pockets; but yet Slyder Downehvlle was not hap
py-not particularly happy. On the contrary,
striking an average, he was, for the most part,
decidedly miserable. He vawned about ali the
morning. he was not hungry in the afternoon: !:
ne was seldom sleepy at night.-vexatious
There's something | want thought Slvder
Downehye; but what it is-that's more than
can tell; bu. It is something TO be happy with.
What other people get for the purpose that they
go grlnnlng about so, hang me If | can discover"
Slyder DoWnehylle was rather good looking,
| about these times-not decidedly love- but
well enough; and so, as nature had been propl-
tlous, he struck out new llne-a very popular
line-the hair line. He cultivated whiskers,
trlnging the base OF his countenance;" be set
up moustache he starred his under lip with an
imperial, and he balanced the superstructure with
the classical goatee." Medusa herself never
had more uxuriant curls. When Slvder Downe-
hvlle wanted to find himself. he was obliged 10
beat the bushes He passed half the dav with
brush in his hand, in adjusting his embesn-
ments-in giving them irresistible expression
and the rest Of the time was consumed in carry
ing them up and down all manner of streets, and
to all sorts Of public places. Slyder Downehylle
was now the envy of the young boods about
town, and was regarded as perfect Cupidon by
the ladies. How, indeed, could it be otherwise
! Birnam Wood had come to Dunsinane-not
! feature was discernabe. Esau and Orson were
shavellngs and shavers to Slyder Downehylle.
But, Notwithstanding the fact that Samson found
strength in his hair, Slyder was not so lucky.
thickset hedge cannot keep out ennul. ltl true
that the buffalo and the bison at the menagerle
took Mr.. Slyder Downehylle for patriarch OF
the tribe, fresh from the head waters of the Ore
gon; vet after all, Slvders spirit was nearly as
bald of comfort as the hairless horse'-that
questionable quadruped. 1t must be confessed,
however, that there were CLEANS OF consolation
attendant upon his brlStly condition. The ser
wants at the hotels styled him " mounsheer how
delightful it is to be mistaken for what you are
not People thought he talked ''pretty good
English, considerin." and, best Of all, the little
bows ran backwards that they might look with
wonder at his face, while the smaller children
went screaming into the house to call their man.
mas to see the funny thing But false the
light on glorv's plume; y and 1t IS no less false
on glorv's hair. Even the excitement OF such
enviable distinction as this soon wears away, and
it NAV be questioned whether, barring the e1-
pense of soap, furry-aced gentleman is, IN the
long run, much happier than the more sober
citizen who has so little taste for the picturesque
as to shave several times week, and who is
neither "foundllng Of the forest nor peram-
bulatory Moses, always among the burushes.
Slvder Downehvlle, therefore, reinforced his
whiskers bv an elaborate care Of dress He was
padded into model of symmetry but although
the buckram was judiciously placed, he soon as
certained that this was not the kind of bosterlng
he wanted The cotton made him warm, but 1t
did not make him happy-not quite. 1t was
! "nothing to be thus unless one were {" safely
thus" Svder Downehylle began to feel small
when his muscular developments were hung upon
the bedpost Which was Slyder, IN the mann
he beneath the cover, or that larger part Of him
| AGAINST the wall : He was tired of packing and
| unpackny; wearied with being spectacular"
1t was not exactly kind in Uncle John and
Aunt Betsy-though they thought it was-thus
to beoueath their savings to Syder Downehylle.
Their legacy perpexed him sadly. He discovered,
in a very short time that money ls not IN itself
| notwithstanding the fact that it is generally
known as the lone thing neediul'-the material
OF happiness But he was clear in his own mind
that it was something to be got with money.
Still, however, he could not find it-that g some
thing to be happy with"-that cake, that candy,
that sugar-ice, that hobby horse. When his game
was run down, why, it was only a fox after all.
"Life's an impostion-a humbug" said Sly
der Downehye, pettishly; "Ive tried much OF
the fun that's said to be in it, and I'm beginning
| to have an idea it's confounded stupid piece OF
| business, when man has seen 1t pretty much al!
through, like farce at the theatre. I'm sure
don't know what to be at next There's man
10 be hung tomorrow but I've seen two or three
fellows hung, and they do it Just alike The fun
is soon got out of that Then there's to be
fight somewhere this afternoon but what's
| fight or a race, or anything, in short A spree
is to come off tonight at Crlnkumcrankums, but
| suppose everythlng's to travel down our throats
in the old way-botheration :"
''You should 90 it, remarked Splttilkens, go
it strong-thats the way to scatter the blue
devils; 90 it strong; and, as the poet ludlclously
remarks, $50 it while you're young. that's
the tine-lend me fifty, and III show you thing
or two-there are several things to be seen yet,
bv individuals who don't wear spectacles. THIS
is good brandy, S!yder-prme brandy-Where
did it come from Have you got any more
Brandv's wholesome, 1t agrees with almost eve
rybody."
This postulate is not exactly SO self-evdent as
Mr.. Spflikens thought it to be; but while 1t is
not clearly proved that brandy agrees with every
body vet It was plain enough that SplftiIhens
agreed with it, and Slyder Downehylle began
Likewise to have slight agreement with that
adjective, both in number and person.
He followed the advice of Spiffiikens NO
one knew the world better than Spitfikens, ard
therefore, Spialikens must, OF course, be right
so slyder Downehylle became conylyla: he
slept by day and frolicked by night If this was
not the long-sought it" where could ut" De-
Slyder DownehyIe was mery-eSceeding Jo-
cose. He was sometimes turned out OF three
theatres in one evening-he had fought IN ball
roon,-had thrashed several watchmen-had been