Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1843-07-07
DEA. CARPEN rER'S HARD CASE.
BY DR.. DANIEL DINGHY.

Education is a grand thing in the world. It
does he p along amazingly. And the more see
of ignorance the more dcspse il. am gong
10 give an account nl the troubles and trbula IN
Of Deacon Carpenter, just 10 show wha al W
" thing ignorance If. Nobody would be- eve
how much il cost him, both in money and con
parn o. mind. To master a single hard wnr! he
found in the newspaper But must tell 'hu
ktory from beginning to end, and then it will BE
seen whether am fnol "r NOT.
The first beginning of trouble with Deac q
Carpenter was owing to the looseness of his
hair. What that vas wing to it is not for me
to s,v.--lIis sister Sukey told him it was old
aye. But she is little good. for-nothiny tease,
that are Suke.--Beng single man. the Dea.
con is kinder tender and touchy ahn,it his age,
And his is enough Ia keep her harplng upon it
forever and ever. Let her alone for finding out
the Deac MS sore toe, if he has one, and tramp.
ing upon it as of'en as she had n chance. Bat
noboL else calls the Deacon old II is com.
mon thing 10 bear folks say, show Young the
Deacon looks" ard widow Green s ready to
swear lie is not over five years older than she is,
and she is quite young woman considering.
NV opin on is, that the Deacon chaws too
much tobacker. Bat no matter what the reason
was, the Dcacon's Lair got loosened Al the roots,
and begun to slip off; not fast but steady, ard
at . rate To clear his scalp in time, and leave
him as bald as the Prophet Elisha. The Dea.
con was goo! pions man, and as deacon
ought to be. No man hated pride and vanity
more than he did.--But lie thought his hair was
pretty. The story goes that he liked TO look at
il IN the lookng.glass and precious time was
spent in combng and greaslng, with patent
bears grease, too but lie was snug, and no.
body suspected he had any regards for his outer
man at all. You would as soon expect to see
him dancing a jig as making fuss about his
locks and curls.
II you go for quantity, you would say the
DeacOn's head OF hair is iLost amazing ONE
i was full crop, warrant yr. 1t lay all over
his head in thick fakes, Of sandy brown color,
and his two cara looked from behind like pair
of cart wheels Under load OF hay. Finally, il
was a mes, 70. Tie Evil One. A there was no
other nook or cover about the Deacon for the
Old Boy TO lurk in, he had 10 sneak IN there, and
make the best of il.
But If the Old Harry wanted help to turn the
Deacon from the straight PATH the women were
always al hand. There was great pulling of
caps for the Deacon at Squash Corner, whether
for true love or houses and land. or greater com.
forts, 10 not for me to say. , Besides, tluldah
Hornbeam, she that give Mr.. Beade such kick
in his stomach, there was the widow G ree,l and
two or three more. But the widow took the rag
key, she found ont the right handle to take hold
of the deacon by, and she made right for his
hair, laid violent hands upon il, and with the
helm of Suke, car led off handful, enough TO
make birds nest. The Deacon was terrible
mad, wasn't he! and folks said. "IIow fond that
are widow Green is of sandy brown hair"
IIern is yaller.
But cutting off with scissors or even shears is
nothing; it is this regular coming out by roots,
constant bidding good by to old friends one after
another, that goes to the heart. II was harder
upon the deacon. because he kept his trouble all
to himself lie didn't even tel! his mother, for
fear Suke would get hold Of the story. But tina,
loving sister did not leave him long under the
weight Of that secret. She noticed that he
scrsiched his head Of late with only one finger
and despert careful will, that. This was enough
and nne day she saws to the Deacon, saws she,
"Eli--how aid must an old bachelor be wher
he hegns To moult ?"
That are Suke Carpenter is N everlasting
torment, and that is the truth, No respect fo
The Deacon. though he is twice her age
ThrowineoM bachelors in his teeth at all time,
and seasons. and right afore the widow Greer
Ton. But Suke had M ma'ice must saw tina
for her; all she wanted was 70 snur up the Dea
con IN get married. She had set her heart up
On 'hat--and he was 81 shv If the women!
"r'' dUh'N Vh's 'lne. When me Dnar0n wal
worrying and fret'ing, and his hair falling lk,
the leaves in the latter enA of October. he so
down nm Saturday evening to rn'i HE newsn1
per that had Just como in. Now tho deacon ha,
his own wav Of reading a new.paner. As b.
was mt M to the new tangled. improvement
that have been made m in the narts of sneoc y
he was constantly running again words tha,
he could spell he could not understand. VI
way then was To give them the go.bv. Whe
he met hard word he didn't stu, To bogg
with i. bn' Just called il "sundries," and passe
on. So II he didn't plough deep he went eve
the ground and did his s'ent as quick az III
smar,est hand could do; hut this time he foun
his match. lie ran foul Of a roo, After re,
ting through the politics and murders. and fire.
DC. the newt thing he came to was this:
"Infaliible receipt to prevent the hair from ia
ling off,"
! He opened his eyes wider.
stake 3 parts Of the best French brand
and l-3 part of-s,u J. ph-(sundries)--