The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1843-05-09

whole number is not quite equal to that Of she mar
ried; proportion which can only be- accounted for
by the violent spirit Of imitation which the sight of so
many examples Of matrimonial enjoyment must pro-
duce. Seeing this, it is only wonder that any body
remains single there bit longer than it is necessary
for the preliminary operations in white satin, eggs
flour, sugar, and coored and scented notes. with
Cupids adown the margins, and peeping from tho
corners There arc, it seems, just IA ,2Sl unmarried
folks.
OF this number no small part is, however kept up
by that inconigble sort, bent upon being unhappy,
the old bachelors, of which guilty kind of people
there no loss than 67ss, painful and APPALLING
amount Of human wo, certainly. But it is at least
comfort to that there is far less sum of this self
inflicted wretchedncss, or more virtue, or more
sense, or more of the marrying propensity whether
that spring from love money! among the softer sex
or that the consumption Of wives is swer than that
of husbands, or that the demand and supply of the
former commodity more justly balanced. In
short, there are but 80 old maids, each, of course.
with an attendant cat or parrot
OF young ladies of all ages, the claim of some of
whom to that distinction stands upon the firm ground
of length of title or prescription immemorial usage
the whole number is given 5000. That Of widows
is 404, while the disconsolate of the other sexRamount
to 3O9
Such is the mere muster roll, or what the French
books on the Art Military call the personnel, in this
ancient warfare, always not little fatal, even when
least bloody. TO describe the moral active opera
tons-the marchings and counter lnarchings, the
feints, the surprises tho coups de MAN, the seges,
the bookades, the attack by echelon movements the
Uhf oss lie Tho kho
ing and counter-minng, the calling of auxiliary forces
OF mothers, aunts and cousins, the parks of eye ar
tiery, the musketry OF closer fght the hand to-hand
work when it comes to the actual push of the bayo.
net, the sghs the vows. the kneengs, the tears, or
at least the pocket handkerchiefs that stand for the
and then the smiles or less bcwitching, the
skiful repuses, the anguish the well managed dis
dam, the seeming involuntary sqneezes the well stud
led confessions, the bushes made by holding the
breath, the anbuscades Of small favors and The last
rnnous victory of the extorted kiss-all this would
be long, not to speak Of the machiavelism of conf
dants and waiting maids, settlement and trust So
to shorten all this we must conclude with the follow
ing return of fatalities, SC in a tabular form:
Number of young men now going counting,
in Lancaster Q asa
OF which, have actually popped the question
ana been accepted $50
| Ditto, and been refused Ok
! Number who are anxious to pop the question,
=, but cant screw up their courage 1910
Number who have been Tilted az
NUMBER hunting fortunes 1889
Nuioe, vi cohtirneo ot1 oGchel0Fs $50
VI winch are not worth having 1856
OF which would do, last resort, 316
Number ofwidowers who wish to marry again a
Number of widows do do 2o6
Number of young ladies who arc in the market GAO
or which have actually had offers 65s
" wn!cn waiting IN dreadful suspense 1910
~ "hcn concluded 10 accept 1909
OF which will ask her mother -
Number OF young ladies in market with ssme.
talic charms" Ya7
OF which hold bank stock Ga
OF which will heir small farm each .a "a AZ
or which have money at interest 40
Number of young ladies qualified to make good
o wives -. 6,64s
OF which would darn their husbands' stockinps $50
~ ~ "hicn ski'iui ia astronomy $3.50
Or which learned in the languages - 4.735
VI which able to spell their own names 562
VI Whicn know now to waltz 1900
~ " winch know how to make pudding I,760
or which know how to spinning wheel DO
OF which know how to spend their husbands
money 6.6Ao
Here is "Lancasterian SCHOOL, to which our fair
young readers will, we are sure, be ready to 60.