The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1843-11-17
NO. %.
Professor OF siSns.

King JAMES vi, on removing 10 Lon
don, was waited upon by the Spanish c M
bassador, a man Of erudi,on, but who had
n cro,che, in his head tina, every country
should have professor of signs, TO teach
him and the like of him to understand one
another. The ambassador was lament
lag one day this great disideratum through
out all Europe, when the king. who was
oueerish sor, of man, said 10 him, why,
have professor of signs in the north
ernmos, college Of my dominions. viz: al
Aberdeen; but it is great way OIL, perc
hans six hundred miles Were 1t ten
thousand leagues off shall see him. said
the embassadore, 'and am determined 10
Sc, out in two or three days the king
saw he had committed himself, and wrote,
or caused to be written to the university
of Aberdeen, stating the case, and deslr-
inc the professors TO put him oil some
way or make the best of him. The en-
bassador arrives, is received with great
solemnity; but soon began to inquire
Of them which of them had the honor OF
being the professor of signs and being
told that the professor was absent IN
the Highlands, and would return no body
could say when, the ambassador sa'u'
Il will wait his return, though IL were
twelve months Seeing that this would
not do, and that they had TO entertain him
at great expence all the while' they
con,riyed stratagem. There was one
Geordv. butcher blind of an eye,
droll fellow, with much wit and ioguefy
about him. He was told the story, aud
instructed to be a professor OF signs; out
not to speak on pain Of death 1eo'uy
undertakes it. The ambassador was now
told that the professor of signs would DC
at home next day, at which he reJoIcea
greatly. Geordy is gowned, wigged'
and placed in chair OF state ma room
Of the college, all the professors and the
ambassador being in an adjoining room
The ambassador is now shown into
Geotdy's room, and left to converse with
him as well as he could, the other probes
sors waiting the. isue with fear and 'remo.
ling The ambassador holds mp one OF
his fingers to Georly; Geordy holds up
Two Of his. The ambassador holds UP
three Geordy clenches his first ana
looks stern. The ambassador then takes
an orange from his pocket and holds II
M Geordy takes piece of barly cake
from his pocket and holds that up. Alter
which the ambassador bows TO HIM. anu
re,ires to the other professors, who anx-
iou,ly enquired his opinion of him. lie
is a perfect miracle said the emoassa'
dor; Il would not give him for the wealth
of the Indies !.WeIl, said the professors,
ito descend to particulars Why SAID
: the ambassador, i first held up one hngers
deno,ing that there is but one God; ne
held NJ two. signifying that these are the
y Father and Son; held up three, mean
mo the Father, Son and holy Ghost; he
:, clenched his first, to say that these three
are one. then took out an orange sig
nifving the goodness of God, who gives
/ his creatures no, only the necessares ou'
!, also the luxures of life 4; upon (which the
- wonderful man presented piece OF bread
showing that that was the staff OF life an'
- preferable to every luxury The pro
=, lessors were glad that matters turne'
. out so well; so, having got quit OF TN
~ ambassador, they next got Geordy Y
hear his version Of the signs. 'Wei
10 Geordy, how have you come on an
he wha, do you think of yon man Z IN
y rascal, says Geordy, what did he d
nd first, think ye! he held up one finger
" as much as to say you have but one eye
Then held up two, meaning that m
~, ~, one eve was perhaps as good as Dol
y! his. Then the fellow held up three
''' his fingers, TO say there were but thre
IT. ewes between us, then | was so mad
nc the scoundrel tina, | stocked my ne'r
wishing TO come a wack on the side
zoe his head, and would have done 1t too o'
III for your sakes. Then the rascal did M
ur- stop with his provocaiion here; but 10
l'h sooth, takes out an orange, rs niue"
d to saw, your poor beggarly cold count
RED canno. produce that | showed nm
whang of bear hammock, meaning that
pis- didna care farihing for him nor his ira
for neither, as laug's haze this f! But
'iih a that's guid, concluded Geordy' Il
and angry vet tina, didna thrash the hide
the the scoundrel !
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