Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1842-03-04

,oor soul was troubled, but for what hardly
tncw. increased the quantity ofmy drink,
md several times 10 that degree that was
helpless and senseless.
o What a mercy it is that God kept me
alive. I wonder yes, it appears miracle
10 me that did not die for thought had
laken enough 10 kill four or five men. But
still the blessed Jesus was seeking me, and
not willing to giva me up. o the bounjless
mercy and love of Jesus Christ. Well might
| adopt the language Of the poet and say,
- to grace how great debtor
Daily I'm cons rain'd to be;
Let thy goodness Ii feier,
Bind my wandering heart to thee
I came to the determination while was ur-
der the influence of liquor, that would drink
no more. Yes, when took the last drink
Of rum, | SAID, "Now have done, and in IA
very litil. time | shall die, and deserve to
de;" hut if death was all, and when this
poor body should lie lifoless lump of clay,
that was my end, dealt, would have been IA
welcome messenger: but there was a dread
of fniura cvehts and evils.
The first night slept until about daylight
in the morning, as | had taken good diam,
as | called it, to wind up on. | arose, and
was weak and trembling. The first thought
was of my vow made ostop. After drank
that dram | walked about until breakfast was
ready, but not without beng tempted to
drink. almost yielded to the temptation,
but thought would try to eat my breaktas,
without, and take IA cupof coffee. My hand
trent led so that could scarcely hold my
cup. l drank one cup of coffee, but could
not eat. l arose from the table and walked
ont. Minutes were hours to me. Several
times was about drinking, and then would
stop. My breath was short. l got ont of
my chair many times, thinking that never
should breathe again. The people asked me
what was the matter with me, and told me
looked like death-tl,a, ! looked trignful.
told them | was sick, bnt did not tell them
wha, allied me-, nor how felt. In tins way
passed the first day. Night came on, and
l walked on, and in until about 10 o'clock,
and then time came to retire. | was among
strangers, and went to he'd but sleep was
gone. Several tlm,s got up TO breathe, as
my breath would stop. | got into dose
several times, and feel, as though there were
ahundrcd pins sticking in my flesh. would
hand and view it by the lamp kept burning,
and then take drink of it. o how good it
tasted to my parrhed throat. Then would
say to myself" Perhaps tins is the last water
that ever shall be permitted to drink. |
may soon he in hell, calling for water nvan."
Then would try the strength of my inf leI-
" and say, "Thcrc is no God. When |
die that is III" las, of me. There is no truth
IN It," But then the Spirit of God would
again shine in NV heart, and looked back
to the hour that God spoke peace to my poor
soul, and l was driven from that Humiliation
an fnnnd myself adrti on the fearful waves
of despair. Then would try for universal
salvation, and say, "God is love. Surely
my punishment is ennugh to satisfy him
Every man is punished here for his sins
Jesus Christ tasted death for every man, and
i, ishis will that all mankind should he saved
and he hath all power His blood was spill.
led for all men, and he will s"vn all. Ineed
no, fear to die. The power of Gin list is abov.
that of the devil. He will save me-"
In this way my mind would for a few
minutes be more easy; but then again i
would sound in my ears, "The wages Of sit
is DEATH" "And IN hell the rich man lifted
up his eyes, being in torment" and the So
dDmitrs were preserved in chains against tin
day of judgment, suffering the vengeance u
eternal fire." And then again would fin
myself deprived of every prop. Toask Go
to have mercy | dare not, but still resolvr
that | would drink no morr-l would die SO
Der, and if my wre,chrd death would alarI
any one that they mightnot come 10 the lik
peril, should be glad. The night appeare
to DO as long as any year had ever seen
bat at as, the li!h, of,hr morning broke fort
and as went out all nature seemed /
mourn.
had eaten nothing through the day pa.
i was very weak, and every thing ] sa
seemed to he clad in mourning. Peoll
looked like shadows, and sometimes though
| WIS among ghosts, and then would stal
at the fearful approaches of death. | trie
to take some breakfast, and the people seen
: ed to pity me, and tried to get me to eat b'
> could swallow very little, and what d.
made me worse. ! walked about in on
j, place after another TO Il I'd peace. bu, o no
| true tia, Scripture that says, "Thcre is !
peace to the wicked" suffered many sol
:. temptations to-day to drink, and consent,
r many times in my mind before | was AVA
u it wasa temptation. The enemy brnug
. new pleas to me- that could hardly resist
!, lie told me as did the doctors. that | oug
n To taper of by degrees, and then might liz
/ but surely would die i'll did not drink
4 little. III took ii little, | might wind of
that way, and then when my mind was st
I He'd nigh, seek for religion but as | wa
, il was of no use To pray, for ii would be pr
>. sumption for such poor wicked wretch as
,r was to pray--l mnst stop gradually not all
:, once. This argument had like to have owe
-. come me, for thought if it would put 4
N in the way of salvation ou!ht to yield to
.. for thought il was from God ; but then u
NJ Oft repeated vows came to my mind. ST
/ how many times had tried to taper of, IA
Nd could not, for ust as soon as ] drank
:. glass had no more power TO resist. Son
y, Times would drink cider or beer, and I
~ to break of on them but ere was aware
would be deeper in the nire Of inlemperal
~ than before tried to stop. When TIN
Il thoughts came to my mind again resolv
, to die as was, rather than return to my
N ~