Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1842-01-17
MISCELLANY.
DEAF UNCLE JEFFERY AND THE LIT
TIE OLD MAID.

Never was such commoton known in the an
nails Of domestic moppery and broonery and
scrubbery and dustery. All good house
know how to turn house upside down, aud how
10 throw it out of the windows, and the dwell
ling into which we are about to introduce our
readers was just in this agreeable predicament.
The curtains were down and the carpets were up;
the fires were out and the sweeps were in the
floors were wet and the csterns were dry; eve
rything was out of its place in the endeavour to
put everything into ii; and the whole household
was in disorder whilst being put in order and
oil because old uncle was coming.
All the little and the great Pokenhams were
mustered and marshalled, and drilled. Mrs Po-
kenham took upon herself the office of dr-ser-
Jeant.
Now, girls, no quarrelling, no contradiction,
no hufing, no scowliDg. no scutfling your old
uncle's coming Now, boys, no fighting, no frol-
licking, and game makng-mind and put the
best side out, aud behave decently old un-
cle's coming. And now. where's Fanny Carr !?
She's always out OF the way when she ought to
bGin it, Can't any of you find me Fanny Carr?
l want to give hei some hints and orders, because
my old uncles coming"
A little plain understood old maid, somewhere
about four feet four inches and half in height,
about six stone six pounds six ounces in weight,
and a complexion something between saffron and
stone-blue and dressed in garb of forgotten
date, was presently poked out of corner by the
young Pokenhams.
Fanny Carr" said Mrs Pokenhnm, shave
you done those few rifling things that desired ?
Have you seen fresh linen put upon the best
bed ?" "Yes, ma'am."
"And have you cured the chimney board of
rattling?" "Yes, ma'am."
And the windows of shaking" eyes,
ma'am."
"And did you see that the boot-jack and the
slippers were placed ready to his feet?' ayes,
maam."
"And Mr.. Pokenhams last new dressing gown
to his hands ?" "Yes ma'am"
"And did you see that the coffee was properly
cieared?" "Yes, ma'am."
"And the chicken and bottle of wine all ready
to be brought up?' eyes maam."
"You know my unco's coming"
Has anybody told anybody that my unce's
coming?" asked Mrs. Pokenhan,. "Not a soul !
Of u.s." exclaimed omnes.
That's right Why, if it were once known,
we should have all the world and his wife here in
less than no time. The Scudamores would be
racketling and rollicking here, and Christopher
and Kate mincing, and carneying, and barney
ing and they'd try with witness to get my old
uncle from me-" "They'd get Troublesome
customer" said Miss Pokenham the first.
yes, but one that hope will pay well. Now,
girls, if you dare TO show any of your quzzings
and huffngs, and black looks, you'll spoil all, and
we shall lose all my uncle's share in The Bank of
England. AS for you, Jane if you fall into that
Old trick you have got for turning up your nose
at everybody-and you, Margaret, of curling up
your lip at everythng-and you, boys, of badger
ing and bantering, and worrying why we shall
Just be throwing away all uncle jeff 8 bank stock
and landed estates and we may as well have
them, for we have as much right to them as any
body eIse."
81 wish you may get them," said Master DAN
lei. Most rare Daniel !" said Muster Humph-
rey; VI wish may"
Thanks 10 tho little sister of the primitive old
maids Fanny Carr, everything was at length in
perfect readiness the carpets were all down and
curtains up the floors were dry, and the fires
were lit the covers were strIpi from the best
chalrs, the sofa wheeled to the best place.
The flre was blazing in all the beauty OF concavi-
~, convcxity, and contiguity, and every face ar
ranged so as 10 look delighted Mt the arrival of
tlresome, troublesome, cross, snappish old uncle
Jeh There came a sound of very brilliant blow
ing OF horns every body strained their eyes the
Royal Blue flew past in grand Style the horses
prancng and caperng, and the guard making
melody with bugle horn on it whired and
whirled, never stopping for anybody, and OF
course no uncle jeff could be there, and so two
tedious hours were spent in fidgetings and guess
llDsesii-a Rd then the slow coach was heard coming
numbering end trailing along, and it stopped at
me steps OF the respectable house where had been
al me busting and mopping and brushing and
grooming, and great masculine head, with thick
heavy features, and bushy eyebrows and large
lips, poked itself out of the window, and looked
up to the house in question, surveying its well
hearth stoned step, and its clean windows and
inc scarlet moreen curtains through them, aud the
brighter blaze of the cheerful FIRE glowing and
hckering over the window frames with a most
morose unpleasing look; whereupon Mrs. Pc.
kenham, and all the tribe of Pokenhams, little
and big rushing out of the paror into he hall,
and out OF the hall on to the door steps, and Mrs