The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1842-04-19
NEis eaaaa C Gus.

We must laugh well as cry Ia tbs wbrd As
last week was sad one, lot this be more cheerful.
The following quzcal story was told Mt tempe
rance meeting in Hartford last week, 10y reform
ed topper. 1t opens rich and The man las be-
come sober one may laugh over his absurdllles
with double relish. He said--lPha Gaz
Il used 10 drink, and my wife used to Jaw
aboct it. What do you get drunk for' sail
she; what do you jaw mo for? said j. So we
agreed, and made firm bargain that would not
drink and she would not scold. For three long
days we held on fim--no drinking nor scoldlng;
but on the third evening, being in company with
some good fellows, took horn, aud when that
was down right off wanted another, and in We
ry short time found myself about show fare you;
with twenty horns safe and snugy in my bread
basket tremendous laughter) BY and by it got
to be time to go home; hut rs YOU may well sup
pose, ! dreaded to meet my wife like the tooth
ache-(langhter) However, go must; and so, ]
staggered along, hoping TO find my wife abed-
(laughter) When reached the house, found il
still lighted, and through the window j saw my
wife up and waiting for me-Oaughter) Thinks
!, cant go in yet, but must wait ill she goes n
bed; there stood freezing in the cold rain two
hours-(u tremendous laughter) A, last she went
10 bed, and crept in at tho back door, stumbling
pals and chairs, but finally succeeded in get
tiEg TO bed without disturbing her, Qaughter) bu,
after dozng awhile, l awoke and found myself as
dry n fish (laughier) You know, brethren.
how dry we all used 10 he N the night after we'd
had sPree-( trem endous laughter) My wife al
ways knew what the matter with me, when I
got up in the night to drink cold water (aughter)
hardly dared 10 get up for fear of my wife; bu,
my thirst was greater than could bear, Oaugier;)
so out crawled, and CROPPED very softly after the
water, Qaugh,er;) but water there, (laugh-
ter) j then felt round in the dark, on the tables
and shelves, for something 10 cool my burning
thirst, Tremendous ughter) soon ! found tin
pan full of liquid something; seized and put il to
my mouth md took long and hearty drausht-
tho liquor at the same time running out cacl
side OF my mouth, down my cheeks, (,rcme ndous
laugh,er;) and so thought liquor tasted odd, and
at that Instant it flashed on my recollection that
had fixed some poison few days before to kill rat,
with Creme ndous laughter for five minutes y
Horror struck, stood--my hair standing on end
lit was death TO scream out, for my wife would
| jaw me if she walked, dangling and stamping;)and
surely il would be death 10 hold still; bat scream
must, and scream did rioious laushtcrO tWha
was in that pan''-sYou are dry are your? said she
'What was in that pan'' shouted l. sill louder
! What makes you dry?' screamed she. 'What was
in iha, PAM yelled ], in perfect agony Of fear -
what PAM why, the pan on the shelf 'Oh
you brute, you have drank all my starch Gre
mendous laughter for five minutes, and cries of or
der from the chairman The next morning my
shirt collar was pasted fast 10 my neck and cheeks
and il took n half an hour to clear 1t off - ere
| Mr.. Brown sat down amid the cheers of the whole
Society.