Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1842-03-04


one to blame but myself. east no blame
on any one.
Nigh, have reformed even then, but in
stead Of reforming, gave vent to my feel
ings, and tried to drown my troubles with
strong drink. did not get beastly drunk,
nor stagesr about the streets, but 1t was one
continual practice every day, and number
Of times in day. drink, but still should
have shnidcrcd at the idea Of being drunk
ard. Some Of my friends saw my state and
warned me against such a course hut adj
hered to none of them, but continued my
course until al last l threw OF all restraint,
aud after awhile made myself believe in the
doctrine of universal salvation. ! finally
got pretty well established in that doctrine,
and then INV mind became more easy, as the
| fears of hc!l were gone, and from that ]
tried to be an nfidcl in full. and at times
! vas so.
| followed this course for several years,
until all my relations except nv mother CAV"
me up for lost. NV friends were ashamed
Of me, and drunkards and in6dels were my
associates. None but drunkards can tell feel
,ngs Of the drunkard, and if you, my dear
reader, are on your way to be one, o read
| this history with care: for, blessed be God,
there is yet hope in your case.
Are you sighted by your relatives and
given up for lostl So was I. Have you I'M
dcrtaken to reform, and in few days got
worse than you were before Do not be
discouraged. Try again and again, for
broke great many promises, and even
oaths in this way. o, poor drunkard, my
heart is panied for you. know how you
feel in all the stages Of your course, for |
continued that course until had comrto the
gates of death. Several doctors told me- il |
broke of from drink all at once could not
live, as my life was kept up by the liquor,
for when the operation of that was going of
thought die must. NV nerves were much
affected. ltrcmblcd like il leaf in the wind.
My breath was short, my appetite was gone,
and dare not GU to my bed without taking
some liGuor with me.
was in business that with very little
labor could furnish myself with as mucl,
liquor as wanted to drink. About a year
before 1 stopped my course Iwcn, To see my
mother, and she, dear woman, piticd me,
and clasped mo around my neck, and wrpl
over me. o, the love of a mother! My
p I,a d heart was broken. promised faith
fully that would reform, AMI meant to do
so, but how to set about il knew not.
meant to, | WIS fully determined to break
of by degrees, and made an attempt: and
for four or five days | made some progress
but the FIRST knew was still deeper il
guilt than before. MY thirst for liquor was
such, that would have parted will, my coal
for rum SO nrr than have gone without it,
o the feelings, the awful feeling of the poor
= drunkard! Who can point them out The,
, would be glad to reform. but poor souls, they
hive lost the power. They stand and reaso,
and at times will start with the spirit of II
: man and say, "Am not u man. and can
not overcome this bcsetmrnt ?" "Yrs, cdh
Q AMI miH." And then they try their strength
S and for awhile are masters, but then there
T. is that l,ankernc for liqhor left, and the,
reason again with ihcmSe!vcS-"i can ns'
little, and it will do me good" and tin
G devil tells them that they can do it, and no
!, get back into the old track, but use it fo
d their health. But soon, to their shame an,
!. sorrow they find, as did our first parents
instead of being wise and like gods, they ar
more like devils. o, how often did fall j.
this way, and the least trouble had, | in
It creased the dose. o, wha, mercy it
o tat am out of hcll While am no,
e goodness of God.-Aiicr l had the con
st ference with several doctors, and they toll
y me coui live bat very few monl,s, an
n some of them instead Of months said ! conl
live bn, il few days, and when dill die,
! would be Suddenly, and that they should nc
=. he surprised if did not i've a week, NJ
= ceilings were like death; for my apprit
u WAS not gone, and | suppose drank at lea.
ii hrrc pints of brandy in day, and som,
rs times half gallon. ns!ill was not STAG
IS .cring about the streets, except in the morn
rs irg | would be So weak that could not wal
a straight, and | have in two or three insianr,
Vi heard men say, "What! drunk SO early
is But nv 9 or 10 o'clock they would think di
irrcnIy +; for the liquor would operate
IS brace the nerves aud help me to walk.
l. now began to think of death. and Eel, TN
'r my time was short. had relations that WEI
nd respectable, and their characters were as f.,
Dr as any, and the disgrace was like to hri,
rs on them give m. pain. could not bear ii
" thought. | had tried to steel my hear, again
I'd every thing tina, told me my poor soul was
d., danger of eternal daunaiion. For when
Sc could not hold on to my in6dei,y, won
rd nv to UnivcrsaliSm.
H. But all these props began to fail me, and
al, concluded that must he damned; for me
] hope in the mercy of God looked like pr
ny sumption and mockcry. O, how my pc
IL sn-sick soul cried ont for help. No one b
10 you, poor drinkard, that art now on t
tie very verge Of he'll, can tell how felt wi,
closing my eyes at night. would Ia
N, some water to wet my parchrd throat, IA
cid say TO myself perhaps, Before | wax,
ors may be in the tormcnts of the damned, n
never taste water agan."-Ycs, have loo
Pg- I'D at the wat'r, and as put the glass to 4
Md mo l',lelt as though was drinking for t
sc, las, time.
me Now, reader. you may try to paint
on feelings, but you will try in vain. IIea
hid wa at stand. To 90 forward was dea,
in to stop was death. thought had hut v.
ro- little time to consider what to do. To ;
&c God to have mercy on me dare not, ant
re- this extremity called to the devil to co
lie and help me-. For awhile | would h;