Boon's Lick times. [volume] (Fayette, Mo.) 1840-1848, 1842-05-07
A HCOSIER AT A POST OFFICE.

A HCOSlER AT A POST OFFICE.
The mail is just recewed-the space in
front OF the window is crowded with every
description of persons, with all sizes and
every color, from lily white down to COP.
per kettle. The Hoosier, in the home spun
coat, do. trowsers, rabbit skin hat, and boots
which look like the poop of Dutch gaIliot.
had been holding the sill of the window for
the last half hour. A stream of tobacco
juice is running from the corner of his
mouth, and it must be wiped away, or the
shirt which has been worn only two Sun.
days, will be utterly spoiled. He endeav-
ors to raise his arm up to his face, bus it is
wedged so tightly to his side, that the least
exertIon gives him pain. THIS intorrup-
ton to cleanliness gives rise to the follow
ing dialogue:
81 say stranger" looking half angry and
the other part frightened, ''you've squeezed
this ere left paw Of mine right straight car
into my side, and hell catch me if can
tell which is tother."
"Can't help it," says small thin man in
spectacles, who has poked his ann under
the shoulder of an Irish drayman, and holds
two short bits and five cent piece tightly
in the other. "Can't help it, sir-the non
observance of the laws Of gentilitv by one
class of society, forces the other part of
that body to fight boldly in defence of their
doctrines-those principles have always
endeavored-
SIS there letter for Dinnis Mcmahon,
SURF" says our Irish drayman, as soon as
he sees the window about to be slid back.
shell cats and fire feesr vociferated the
Hoosler, 'why yon tarnel specamen of a
green calabash filled with boss har. Do
you mean to say that your here frst?''
'Divil take me if don't ak first, and bv,
the powers don't see why should be the
last in getting my lettherr'
CLERK within)--What name did you
say!
'Dinnis McMahon, SURF
''Stand aside you Greek screech owl or
wish | may be steweG down into crab.
claws, fried with niggers heels, if don't
waIlop you into sheep sorreI hoe cake.
You might just as well try to use chestnut
burr Tor an eye stone, as to run against
these bone smashersr' The Hoosier dis
played pair OF fists which might have an
swered the purpose Of ancient batterng
rams, and the Irshman gave up the ship
with the exclamation:
sab, by my sowl! he's natheraized and
| a two month furriner-thats the reason
why bear it!''
CLERK angriIy)-What name next,
cant be standing here all day?
sand isn't there no letter for me, yer
honor?,' said our Irishman, in a tone that
went to the quick.
Clerk--No--no, sir--I told you so once
before.
Hoosier-Why, you gingerbread jews
harp, whar do zoe expect letter from?
The drayman said nothing, but as he
went out Of the door we heard him ex-
claimed "God bless thrm! my wife and
grawleons."
Clerk-What's yodr name?
Hooser--What's that yonr business?
Clerk--f you want a letter, you must
tell me.
Hoosier--Oh! if The cat jumps that are
way, s'Pose you'll want to know if got
the pumpkin seed TO get the cucumber with!
Clerk Qaughing)--I suppose your names
John Smith, isn't it?
Hooser very much amazed J.. A hraham's
fodder and soft crabs Of GaiIee! how did
you know that?
1uc W StdlhClo NJ" lduSueu Nllllbuel-
ately, and police officer who was stand
ing by, called out "silence in court"
Clerk--Here are ten letters for John
Smith--Where do you expect one from!
Hoosier--Beeswax! and singing net.
ties! see if there arn'l Que from Coat-tai
Bend.
Clerks there a Post Office at thai
place.
Koosier-No. There is u wood pie
thar though!
Clerk laughs and looks over the letters.
"Ihem'S UNI, stranger--that are one that /,
mine. know, cause that ] is bent over
like fishing line with a ten pound cat fish
a hold Of The chickin gut.
f Clerk--But this. is for Captain John
Smith.
Hoosier---Well | is captain Of the flat
boat Northumberland / arrive here last
night, loaded with mud turtles, sambins
and young pullets!
Cerk--rhe postage is 25 cents.
Hoosier--Belzebub' belly and spring
squashes! May | be- tetotally ramsquaddlet
' and chopped up to make soap for ngger
2 babies, il don't see you from here to thu
!, sawd off eend of the last hog killing, afor'
give you more than enough to buy
= tongue mnzzle for turkeys watch fob
. The bys tanders became impatient, ant
t although they were most willing to be a