Bloomington herald. [volume] (Bloomington, I. T. [Iowa]) 1840-1849, 1842-04-08
Fsestsg IN Editor.

number is not small ono, complains Of the
want Of news. Nothing Is going on in Con-
gress, not even duel-the boundary question
and the Florida war, are both worn out. and
not murder is to be had for love or money
Even shocking accidents" and lawful catas-
trophies are as scarce as warming pans In the
West Indies, and there has not been mob, or
a Highway robbery worth fig, for long
time. What is to be donef What can we.
poor editors, do to keep our readers In good
humor ?--Some contrive TO fill up their columns
with their own private concerns, and what is
worse yet, with their personal quarrels. But
this is an example we do not intend to follow.
Patrons, when they nay publisher for his pa
per, do not expect him to devote it to his own
private affairs. clergyman would probably
give offence if he were TO keep the fodder for
his horse iu the gallery Of the church, or hang
up his winters stock of bacon and sausages
around the pulpit And yet this would not be
more palpable appropriating to private use,
what belongs TO the public, than for an editor
to fill his paper with his own personal affairs.
Well, as we are not disposed to occupy our
columns with personal abuse, we will try
something else, and relate an Incident, tor the
truth Of which we can vouch.
About twenty-five years ago, when certain
Western State (Which we shall not name) was
a territory, and with few inhabitants, young
lawyer from one Of the old States, cmlgrated
thither, and settled in the town of k-.He
succeeded admirably in his profession, and
| rose rapidly in popular favor. He had been
there nearly two years, when he induced a
printer to come on and print for him weekly
paper. of which he was editor and proprietor.
Squire S. was much pleaced, for while, with
| ODD To rNe
stature, but he used the editorial 1--WE" as fire.
quently as if there were dozen of hi.a, and
each as big as Daniel Lambert, or the Kentuc-
ky Giant.
Strange to say, there were at that time, men
in office who were not particle more honest
than they should be; thing which probably
never happened before, and never will again.
Squire S. felt all the patriotism Of son Of '76,
and poured out grape shot and canister against
public abuses. This soon stirred hornets
nest about his ears: but as there was no other
paper in the territory, there was no reply, and
he enjoyed his warlike propensities in security.
AT length he published an article more Sc
we're and cutting, against malfeasance in office,
than any that had proceeded it. IN fact, though
pointed at 10 one individual in particular, ii
was s.scorcher."
Some three or four days afterwards, he was
sitting alone in his editorial Office. which was
about quarter Of mile from the printing es-
Establishment. his pen was busy with para.
graph when his door was opened without
much ceremony, and in stalked man full SIX
fee, in his stockings. He asked, fare you S.,
the editor of this paper." Thinking he had
found new patron, the little man, with one
Of his blandest smiles, answered in the afirma-
tive. The stranger deliberately drew the last
number of the paper from his pocket, and point
ing TO the article against rogues in office. told
the afrgh,ed editor that it was intended for
him ltwas III vain that S. protested he had
never heard of him before. The wrath Of the
visiter rose to fever heat, and from being so
long restrained, boiled over with double fury.
He gave the editor his choice, either to publish
a humble a very humble recantaion, or take
fogging ON the spot. Either alternative was
worm W God, but what could he do! The en-
ragged office-holder was twice his size, and at
one blow could qualify him for an obituary no
,ice. He agreed TO retract, and as his visiter
insisted upon writing it himself, he sat down
| 10 the task. Squire S. made an excuse to walk
to the printing Office, with promise that he
would be back in season to sign it, as soon as
| it was finished.
S. had gone hardly fifty rods when he en-
counered man who enquired where Squire
SIS. Office was, and If he was at home, Sus-
| pecting that ne, too, was on the same errand
as the other visler, he pointed to the Office, and
| told him he would find the editor within, wri-
| ting most abusive article against of1ice-hold-
ers. This was enough. The eyes of the new
conner flashed fire. He rushed into the office
! and assaulted the stranger with the epithets,
iar," "scoundrel," $ co,card,' and told him
he would teach him what to write. The gen.
tleman supposing it was some bully sent there
! by the editor, sprang to his feet, and fight
ensued that beat the kilkenna cats all hollow.
| The table was upset and smashed into kind
ling wood-the contents of large jug of ink
stood iu puddles on the foor-the chairs had
| their leggs and backs broken beyond the skill
of surgery 10 cure them. This seemed only to
inspire the combatants with stilI greater fury.
! Blow followed blow with the rapidly of light
ming, and the force of sledge-hammer. First
| one was kicking on the daor and then the 9th
| er-each taking il in turn, pretty equally. The
ink on the floor found its way to their faces,
| till both of them cut the most ludicrous figure
| imaginable. The noise and uproar was tre-
mendous. The neighbors ran to the door and
| exclaimed with establishment that two negroes
were fighting in Squire SIS. Office. None dar-
ed seperate them. At length, completely ex.
hausted, and pounded to a jelly, they ceased
| fighting. The circumstances Of the case be-
came known, and the next day. hardly able to
| sit on horseback. their heads bound up, they
started homeward convinced that they had OBJ
tanned very little satisfaction from their attempt
to. fight an charlottesville Advertiser.
| A waqgish fellow, somewhat troubled with
| an impeachment in his speech, whose quibs and
| bubbles have been heard and relished by ma
| ny Of us, while one day sitting at public ia
bic had occasion to use the pepper box. After