Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1842-05-20

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And won't you get up, tooF
yes, when the breakfast is ready, and my
stockings aired!
Mrs. Swallow was about 10 reply, but she
checked herself as she was ashamed to say
much to him on so short an acquaintance
but though in the present instance she did
precisely as she was bid, she resolved in her
heart that il was the last time she would get
up at six o'clock in the morning and prepare
breakfast.
AT eight o'clock, every thing being ready,
Mrs. S. called to Mr.. S.
Breakfast is ready, Mr.. Swallow
SIS the toast made !"
| 'Yes.'
'And not burned,
| sNo.'
Are my stockings aredr
Yes
You'll do quoth Mr.. Swallow, and to
breakfast he went, having first received the
services of the blushing Mrs. Swallow to help
him into his lnexpresslblcs.
The breakfast, however did not turn out
to be what it was cracked up TO be. The
toast was done little too much, and theit
wasn't done quite enough: the sop bowl was
at the wrong end Of the tray, and there were
several crumbs on the carpet.
these things call for improvement OBJ
served Mr.. Swallow.
The servant hasn't been here this NOR
ming answered his wife.
| Servant y rctorted Mr.. S. Il discharged
him yesterday. you don't suppose can az
ford to keep servant and wife too?'
The lady was again posed, and said moth
ing, but the day had worn to a close before
she could bring herscfto believe that Mr.
Swallow had actually made use of the words
servant and wife in the same sentence.
The next morning at six o'clock, Mr.. Swal-
low again Informed his wife that 1t was time
to get up, coupling his remarks with the sue-
gcstion that ia future she must save him the
trouble Of reminding her of SO necessary a
duty.
Mr.. Swallow, however, benefited nothing
by this soft insinuation, for at that moment
she either was ar pretended to be fast locked
in the arms Of morpheu.
Don't you hear, Mrs. Swallows
But alas slightly conscious snore was the
only audible response vouchsafed by Mrs.
Swallow.
! 4No" thio was wv hliSil pun lUl tCOlUIUOi1,
but he was prepared for it. 'What says my
system on this = said no to himself, musing-
ly. ut says lazy wife who lies abcd in the
morning, may be very probably reminded
OF her duty, by the judcious application of a
needle. And this magnificent idea had scar
crly crossed the hrcsliliuld of his brain pan,
when he inserted the point of needle into
his drowsy helpma'c's propria persona. As
may be expected, the intended effect Instant
~ followed the cause, for the asonishcd Mrs.
Swallow sprung from the bed as though she
had been thrown from it by an earthquake
hut alas, her agility all but annhiIated poor
Solomon in rolling over him, hut she dashed
his patent lever from nail which suspended
ii to the wall, and broke the dial.
what "A dream calculated Mrs. Sva-
low, pressing her hand on her wounded por-
ton.
what dreadful reality shouted Mr.. s.
contemplating the fragile mass Of his broken
tlmcpiece.
'Now Mrs. Swallow said Solomon,-'sce-
ing that can't be always awake to call you
up in the morning, or eat burnt toast, OF
, drink raw tea, &C., it is time that ! should
begin to instruct you in your duties
'And what are they :?
'Be silent, madam, if you please. Not 10
talk but to listen, is one Of the most impor-
tant of them
proceed, sir
And Mr.. Swallow, looking daggcrs at his
beloved for the second interruption, proceed
ed AS follows:
From six to eight you are to get up, dress
4 I'll.
air shirts and slockings-sweep room-pre-
pare breakfast and announce perfection
thcreof.-Eight TO ten, wash dishes, make
beds, rub furniture and clean windows.
Ten to twelve, 90 to market prepare dinner.
Twelve, ill two, devote to dish washing, swee-
ping up and rubbing furniture. Two till six,
spinning, mcnding shirts and darning stock
ngs. Seven, tra.-From tina, till nine sec
ond course of mpndine and darning--lhen to
bed. And this daily course, madam, with a
strict observance of the rules of civiity, trl-
gality, dccorum and obedience, may enable
you to do honor to the choice of Mr.. Solo
mon Swallow
Mrs. Swallow listened quietly to the end
! and then mildly inquired. And do you
really expect this Of me, Mr.. Swallow
t 10 be sure do responded her spouse.
Then you will be sadly disappointed, for
Ill do no such thing
, 'No!
/, Nor
'lve way to make YOU
: 'Howl
, Spoon ct-locks-chains- COW
hides
, MIR. swallow
, what!
, 'Your BRUTE
| And Mrs. Swallow threw herself back
r and looked desperate.
Now this was IA climax. Mr.. Swallow
| n. l. e.