Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1842-06-07
From Bently's Miscellany
GLORIOUS UNCERTAINTY OF THE LAW

!
| GLORIOUS UNCERTAINTY OF THE LAW
! In a certain town in Normandy the authorities
| (for divers good reasons ihereunto moving.) ho't
proper TO issue proclamation TO the effect that
none OF the worthy inhabitants, under severe pen
atty, should stir abroad after sunset without a lam
| tern. Well, II CHANGED in the very same evening
| man was seized and taken incontinentb before the
dispenser OF justice, to be dealt with according TO
| the new law.
i am exceedingly sorry said the chief officer
| recognizing the individual, that citizen of your
responsibility and station should be the first to in
! fringe the new regulation
/ would not willingly do so, said the man coolly.
/ : Have you not read it,
| Certainly, replied the captured party, sbut
many have unfortunately misunderstood it. Will
! Monsieur oblge me by reading it, that may learn
of what am guilty!
| The officer gracousy complied, and after gil
blngly running over the verbose preamble, came to
the point " that inhabitant shall stir abroad after
sunset without lantern,' which he certainly de-
vered with peculiar emphasis, TO the admiration of
the fellow who had taken the into CUSTODY and
was twrling his fingers, inpatient to receive his
moiety of the fine.
Il hare lantern, Monsieur firmly contended
| the man holding it up to view.
| Yes, but there is no candle in it, replied the
| officer with smile. ss
The proclamation does not mention candle
belleve Monsieur, replied the cunning fellow res
pectfully.
"A candle!-but of course, began the infor-
mer trembling lest he should lose the fish he had
hooked.
! 1t does not mention a candle; and contend that
have not infringed the law persisted the quib-
! bier. The words are without a lantern-and
! here it is.
'Hem!' cried the officer, endeavoring to conceal
the confusion occasioned by his defeat by porting
! over the copy OF the proclamation. Il must
J ta-S thara
! you the benefit of it. The case is dismissed
The mormer was not only defeated, but rather
alarmed, when the prisoner called to mind a GER
tain act which rendered him. the aforesaid intor-
mant, liable to heavy damages for false imprison-
ment, &c, and the poor fellow was fain to avert
the lntlIctlon OF an action of the law by discussing
certain sum in hard cash to the accused
But 10! on the next evening he again encountered
his 'dear acquaintance, and TO his infinite deli chit
! he beheld the same unilluminated lantern in his
I hand; for an amended proclamation had been is
sued that morning, with the words, ''that no nha-
! bltants should stir abroad without lantern and a
! candle therein"
The lntormer chuckled at the ignorance OF the
man who had so cooy victimized him on the pre-
ceding night and with heart beating with the de-
sire OF revenge, and certain prospect of the resti
tuition of the mule: which he had suffered, he with
sneering politeness requested the honor of his
| company to the justice room.
Really, II is impossible TO resist the admirable
! importantly of gentleman who pays such delicate
/ complments-such good coin!'' replied the man;
and away he walked chatting good -humoredly and
! joking with his delighted captor
what again?' cried the officer.
'1hope Monsieur will do me the honor to remem-
| Der that my former appearance here was not only
/ against my inclination, but against the law said
the prisoner;
Really these proceedings are very vexatious
and -
Have you read the proclamaton?' interrupted
the officer.
! Monsieur did me the favor to read it only last
! night and -
Il VIII read it again for your edifcation,' replied
the officer; and he looked furtively al the normer
! who could scarcely contain himself for very Joy.
The amended proclamation was read The ac-
cused stood placdly smiling the rigmarole verb-
age; but when the officer reached the concluding
words :" that no nhabitant should stir abroad with
out lantern and candle, he started.
Hal cried the informer, unable longer to re
/ strain his feelings
How very, very Fortunate cried the delinquent
| and quickly opening his lantern, continued, Lo!
| here is a candle. How fortunate!'
| But it is not lighted exclaimed the informer.
with an uncomfortable citation. 1t is not lighted
! nor has 1t been, as the wick itself provost
Lantern and candle! a lantern and candle!' re-
! peated the man. L appeal to the justice of Mon
sleur that there was not such word as Gghted can
! die IN any part of that respected document
| This was clencher! The parties were COM
petely outwtted, while, to abate the fever of the
| Intormer extraordinary excitement, the man cha
rltably repeated the - bleeding" which he had so
efectuay performed on the former occasion. OF
! course the lawyers lost time in Amending the
amended proclamation, and inserted Aghted before
! the word candle