Boon's Lick times. [volume] (Fayette, Mo.) 1840-1848, 1842-05-28


MRs. CHuBB's WEDDING DAY-It is GUS
tomary with many people to celebrate the
annual return of the day on which the par
son transformed them into "one flesh" by
giving "spread to few friends" and ma
king merry. To this class of persons be-
longed Mrs. Chubb, the defendant in suit
which came under the cognizance of the
learned commissioners Of this court. En-.
Pertaining s'party" among the middling
classes is an event of no ordinary magni
tude, and yet in nine cases out Of ten they
are failures, both guests and host are glad
when it is over. The reason of this is that
ostentation and display are the sole OBJ
jects sought to be achieved, while the COM
fort and convenience Of the visitors is new.
er considered at all. The Browns dine with
their very dear friends the Smiths, and IN
return invite them to "pick bit'' with
them. Mrs. Brown prepares an enter
tainment which she is determined shall sur
pass that given by the Smiths, to accomplish
which double the quantity of viands are
placed on the table than there is any occa
sion for, and unnecessary expenses incurred
through which the good Lady and her fami
ly have to pinch themselves for the next
month. 1t is absolutely laugha ole to wit
ness the restraint under which the guests
labor at some of these would -gentry's
parties. The idea of bashful young gen.
tlemen, or a blushing young lady being O.
biged to "bolt" a plate of meat, sans veg
etables, because there don't happen to be
spoon at the end Of the table, is redicu-
lous enough, for if person should presume
to stick his fork into even a potatoe, the
whole party would be employed all the next
day in discussing the hopeless vulgarity of
Mr.. So-and so, who had dared to consult
convenience instead of etiquette. Mrs.
Chubb's "party" on her wedding day was
failure, and the cause of its non-succes
brought her to this court.
The plaintiff in the case was perambu-
lating chicken butcher, one Peter Macar-
thy, recent Importation from the land of
boys and buttermilk, "frst flower of the
earth and first gem of the say" Peter, af.
ter INDUCING in retrospective eulogy on
his brother Teddy's mud cabin and stock
of pigs and poultry at Skibereen, proceed
ed to inform the court that he was in the
habit of serving the defendant, Mrs. Chubb
with poultry, but she was so whimsical that,
added Peter, sit would be impossible for the
divil himself to place her, savin' yer han.
ners' prlsance." 1t further appeared that
Mrs. Chubb, having resolved upon enter
tanning friend or two on her wedding day,
Peter received on order to furnish her with
couple Of fowlssor the occasion, which Or
ders he complied with, and ii was the price
| Of them (5s.) he now sought to recover.
Commissioner-What is the reason she
refuses to pay you.
Peter-Well thin, yer hammer, its ould
she says they was, but it's not the likes iv
meself that daes in ould uns at all, faith
both iv 'em was quite babies. (Laugh--
ter.)
Mrs. Chubb was female Of stout pro-
portions, with pug nose and broad face
that star outsnone the scarlet flowera'-
Mrs. Chubb was evidently on the wrong
side of forty-fve, and there was vu gar
pomposity, a sort Of plebian hauteur in her
department extremely amusing.
Upon being called upon for her answer
to the charge, the good lady waddIed for
ward.
sit was the ANNIVERSARY, sir" said Mrs.
Chubb, lisping in an affected tone, sit was
the ANNIVERSARY of the day was married
to my dear Hadol plus, to enjoy little
homely "SoWrey' (Soiree was probably
meant,) so told this man to git me a cou-
pie Of nice chickens, but when hey came
to table and tried to cut 'em up, found |
might as well try to carve an old shoe, they
must have been twenty year old, at least,
and then the disgrace of having ones
friends talk about SIGH things is shocking.
i Plaintif-Maybe, yer hammer, the lady's
got bad teeth, for its as finder they was as
a young vargin. (Laughter.)
Commissioner--He declares that the
fowls were young, now which am to be-
leve.
Mrs. Chubb--Here, Hadolphus, dear,
tell the gentleman about the chickens.
Mr.. AdoIphus Chubb, little hen-pecked
looking man came forward.
Commissioner-Wel sir, what do you
know about it?
Mr.. Chubby that they wos VERY
old uns; we never het bit on 'em.
After some further discussion the court
awarded Peter IS. as the value Of the chick
: ems.