Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1842-05-28
al fscelI Lame GUS Sslec I % rs.
SEQUEL TO CAPT. RICE'S TREAT.

boring State Of Arkansas n collecting exPe-
dition had occasion call upon customer
whom We shall call John Smilh-not the immor-
tal John Smith, Jr, who writes tor the ne"spa-
ners but in all probability relation OF the great
original whose portrait hangs upon peg against
the cal bin wall.
Being, as he thought, in The neighhorhood. but
not knowing precisely the whereabouts OF the
aforesaid John Smith he accosted u copperns-
striped specimen Of the old North Caroline State,
who wns rather listless,y at work IN front Of a
cabin he wing out axletree for an OK cart from
pine saPllng.
TrareHer.-Good morning, sir; will YOU have
the goodness direct me to John Smiths?
~ C-Certainlv, sir II there 10 any thing IN
this world do know, it's the way TO John Smith >.
Why John Smith and me came out together from
North Carolina. We cut out that new road lea
ding across that branch and that hill. We
Tran But, sir, Will you have the KINDNESS to
tell me where he lives?
NC. To be sure will As was saying, if
there is any ihiug DO know. it 10 The road to
John Smiths. Why. sir, John Smith and me
married sisters; and he has got the smartest wife
in all these paris. She
n, Irar--No doubt Of It, sir, but want TO see
him, and have nothing to do with the good quail
ties of his wife VIII you direct met
~ Cor course | WILL rs said before, #
there is anything IN this world | DO know, it IS
the way to John Smiths. But as was ohseTv-
ing. his wife spins SIX day, besides attend
ing 10 family filings. And
Trap--Sho may spin fifty for all know OF
care; but that has nothing TO do with my qncs-
ton | wish to find her husband-wi You tell
mo where ne liVesl
~ CIVIL tell you where John Smith lives?
Well that's good tell you again II there
!. INV thing in this world ! do know it IS the
way TO John Smiths. Why, sir as said before,
We came from North Carolina together. And he
has yoke of tho truest pulling oxen in all these
parts. His negro man, Jim, is a little the smart
est
Trar-My dear sir, II is growing late, and |
wish to get on. If you can direct me, why don't
you do il? ask you again II you will tell me
the way to John Smiths?
". C-IIavn't | told you dozen times If
there is any thing in the world | do know il is the
wav to John Smi,h's9 Havn', told you we
came from North Carolina together? Bet speak
ing Of his boy Jim-he can pick out his hundred
weight Of cotton in a day and shell out "a turn
of corn for milf at night, and no mistake. Be
sides, slr--
Trar--Zounds, man, what have to DO with
limo, his cotton-or his corn2 have asked
YOU a plain question, which will ask again.--
Is there, or is there not, such q man as John
Smith living in this section, and II you know
the way to his house, will you point ii out to me
~ C.-And POUNDS, man. havn't been tell
ing you all the time that there 10 such a man as
John Smith living in these dggns-and If there
is ANYTHING IN the world do know it is the way
TO his house. tell you again we not only came
from North Carolina together, but cut out that
new road loading across that branch and the
hill. Why, sir, IohE Smith has the finest little
daughter YOU ever She has only been to
school two years and has got far amplii
cation.
Trap--Confound his daughter and ampt,a-
ton too. | think you have got that far yourself
For when | ask you plain question, which you
nigh, answer 10 half dozen words you spin
mo long yarn about roads, wives, negroes. OK
en- and i,lle girls. Now, do, that's a good fellow
jus, talk a little moro like a of this world
and show the road to John Smiths.
". C-Don't you coutOund Johns darter
mister sizes my niece, and smart one she is toe
WHY YOU are rs tetchous a skinned eel ane
won't let n body direct You when they are trying
TO do il with all their might. 70 be short with
you US you seem TO wish tt tell you again we
came from North Carolina together-we bought
land together al dollar and half an acre-wt
bought 800 acres apiece--we cut out that new
road leading across that branch and over tina
hill, together. John Smiths land lies just acros:
that swamp. but he don't lire there You
SEQ this land here. sre 1t is just abon, the fines
track YOU ever IN your born days. Just look
ut them tail sweet gums by Tho pond--twIg tina
'cimruon, amt no a whapper?-ai least feet q
cross the stump. You see
Iiar--I see l am not likely 10 get IN nnswe ell
out Of YOU 10 DAY: so may as well keep on -
| ask YOU now and for the las, time. will Oh
will Won not. direc, me tho way TO John Smiths
N.C.-And | tell you now, and for the TWEEN
iis,h time, It therc any thing IN the world
do know, it is the way 10 John Smiths. But
must tell you abou, his iine bIooded anc
Timoleon fiey She tuck the puss las, Satur
day was a fortnight, a, the Big Deer Lick course
like falling off log. She's heelv criiter, tel
you--and shoots ahead leelIe faster than the
fastest kind of lightning.
Trap-Good DAY sir. And may old Nick take
John Smith, his wife, daughter and sundries in
general; and you and your application. in par
iicular. puts spur TO his horse IN a fit of abso-
Lutte despair of obtaining direct answer to a
simple question)
" C.-The same TO you, sir. And may old
Nick take you and your boss too Why never
seed such man. He kept asking, and asking
and ] kept telling--and he wouldn't listen n bit
Why, he wouldn't even wait till | told him wha