Southern Argus. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1834-1842, 1842-05-03

S'GeIeu himself the most OIL genti
man; the raisers of rice and cote
and claimed precedence on the scol
r Of administering both TO the back an
stomach, and the little fellow that live
: on his island put in his claim on III
! score Of morality. This would not d
and SO the old man escaped heing plur
dered this time.
But these fine boys had another iro
IN the fire, which they heated ii
was red hot. Quoth one of tn
cunning varlets, believe it was tn
barbecue chap, "Let us set about in
proving our farms, and make the oil
boy pay the piper"-upon which the
all agreed, and set up a hurrah abou
internal improvement, which used i
old times to be considered improve
ment of mind and morals, but 10Y
means digging bitches, pulling u
snags, and making roads through thu
| desert.
Upon this one ofthem went and Sc
up loom in his back building, as he
said, for the encouragement! of domes,
tic industry, and hired other people \
come and tend it. When he had he
this he went TO Uncle Sam and sistec
he should give him a handful or two
of money to encourage him in auch pa
triotic and praise-worthy undertakings.
"Stop there my little fellow" cried
the biggest brother of all, who had a
fist like sledge hammer; "stop, if you
please, | have set up my looms at my
own expose; and III be switched if the
the old man is going to pay you for
doing what l have done myself''
Then another chap ofthe family sets
up a blacksmith shop for making hob
nails,and made the same claim to touch
few thousand OF the old gentlsman's
money for the encouragement Of do
mestic industry, which about this time
began to be very low spirited, and
wanted little patting.
"Avast there, you land lubber," ex-
claimed one Of the brothers, a bold
hearty Jack tar, who had sailed round
and round the world, land was mighty
navigator. "Avast there none Of your
fresh water gable. / should like to
know why you should be paid for ma
king hob nails any more than am for
building ships. Avast there, | say,
you lubLe r, or I'll be foul of your dead
lights"
Next came another brother who was
great hand at raising sheep, which
he called being a wool-grower, to de-
mand that as people could not exist
without clothes, Uncle Sam should
shell out few dollars to reward him
for being great public benefactor.
'Fudge! exclaimed the cotton grow
ing brother, "wheFe one man is clothed
in wool a thousand wear cotton
Why not encourage me then, instead
of this woolly fellow? Away with your
bleating, or I'll be into your mutton
before you can say Jack Robinson"
Next came sober, sedate, econom.
ical brother who had set up shoe-shop
and wanted Uncle Sans protection
is to say, some of his money.
"Rot your solt," cried the high
handed gentleman who despised work
and had rather ride blood horse than
make his own shoes a thousand times.
"What are you talking about there?-
It's mighty natural to be sure that you
should be asking encouragement for
making shoes. Ifitwere horse-shoes
now I'd talk to you" So saying, he
mounted his horse, and challenged
Uncle Sam TO run q race for a thou
sand dollars.
After this, for there was no end to
their persecution Of the poor old
man; after this come another brother,
a great mechanical genius, who had
invented machine for peeling apples,
and wanted encouragement Of Uncle
Sam for the great saving of time and
labor in making apple pies.
"Who! WHO'D! whoop!" cited the
wild harem-scarem, barbecue boy, one
of Uncle Sans youngest sons, who
had just settled town away off west,
and had not yet thrown off his mecca
sins, "whoop! Mister mind which way
you point your rife there can turn
a fip-fap somerset, grease your head
with bears meat, and swallow you
whole without pang. You'd better
take 'keer how you steer your steam
boat, or you'll run foul of a snag."
BY and by came another of this
hopeful family, with long story of the
great advantage Uncle Sam would de-
rive from clearing out a ditch, at his
own expense, for The benefit of other
people
Here the great big fellow mentioned
before, who was the richest Of the
brothers, put in his oar, and cried
out
"None ofthat fun brother Johnathan;
I've done all my own ditching myself,
and I'll be tetotaIly ramswisled if l am
going to let daddy pay you for what
/ did all myself. Dig your own
bitches, my boy. as / have DONE"
Then came a fine fellow, one ofthe