Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1842-06-07
SOUNDING UNDER BARE POLLS.

There was fine old General once, who
having spent most Of his life in the icldo of
Mars, knew very little about the camp of
Cupid. He was one of those rough and
honest spirits, often met tn in his gallant
profession, innocent as an infant, OF almost
every thing save high integrity and lndo-
m.tablc bravery. lie was nearly fifty years
old, and his tolls were over, when master
Dan Cupid brought him acquainted with a
widow Wadman; in whose eve he began
TO detect something that made him uneasy
Here was the result Of leisure.
During his service in the army he had
never seen any thing worthy of particular
notice In woman's eye. In fact he would
scarcely have observed whether Il woman
had three eyes in her head, or only one;
for no matter where lis own eyes were,
his thoughts were ever among guns, and
drums, and wounds" and love was a thing
that lived in his memory just as he remcm-
bered once reading a visionary story book
called The " Arabian Nights Entertain
ments," when a boy.
Well, the General had settled down into
an amiabIc gcntIemanIy old fellow; living
alone, with comfortable wealth around hn
and having little to do, save now and then
TO entertain an old comradc in arms, which
companionship afforded opportunity for him
to fight his battles oc'ragain.' But, alas.
over this calm evening Of the old Generals
day, a deal Of perPleXity was doomed to
fall, and he soon found himself in troubled
waters, the depth o, which he could by no
means understand He noundcred about
like Gagged rat under a pump, and such
another melancholy fish out Of water never
before swallowed the bait, hook and all, Of
the angling God Of love. The poor Gene
"a! We must give him a name, or we
can't It'll the story, and the best name for
su'h story, to / c found in IA c or history
is " ncle TOby." Poor General Uncle
7 by debated abstractcdIy in great dstrac-
ton about his new pos .tjon, and never had
Hgc or ca upaign given hln such PcrPleX-
Nv before.
At length however, the Dlunt honesty Of
his disposition rose uPpcrmo,t among his
conflicting plans, and his course was cho-
sen. At school he had once studied
"Othello's Defence" to rccitc at an eNh-
bition, but made great failure; and he
now rccoIIectcd that there was something
in this defence very much like what he
wanted TO say. He got the book imme-
diatciy, found the passage, clapped on his
hat with determined air, and posted off
t. the widow Wadman, with Shakespeare
under his arm.
..Madam," said General Uncle Toby,
opening his book at the marked place, with
the soIcmnity Of special peadcr at the
bar-n Madam
Crude am in my speech,
And little blessed with the set phrase OF speech,
For since these arms OF mine had seven years pith,
Til now, some nine months wasted they have used
Their dearest action n the tented field;
And little of this great world can ! speak,
More than pertains to teats OF brOIl and battle;
And theodore
Here the General closed the book, wiped
his forehead, looked up at the ceiling, and
said with a sPaSmodic g1Sp-"I ~ant to
get mdrricd!'
The widow laughed ten minutes by the
watch before she could utter a syllable
and then she said, with precious tears OF
humor rolling down her good naturcd cheeks
-"And who is it that YOU want 10 marry
Gencral!
"Youl7 said Uncle Toby, nouriShing
his sword-arm in the air, and assuming a
military attitude OF defiance, as if he eX-
pccted an assault from the widow immcd
aiely.
4" VIII YOU kill me If marry youf
said the widow, with Il merry twinkle in
her eye.
mo, madam" replied Uncle Toby, in
q most serious and dcprocating tone, as ii
to assure her that such an idea had never
entered his head.
. .Well, then, guess I'll marry you,"
said the widow.
"Thank YOU, ma'am," said Uncle Toby;
but one thing am bound 10 tel. you OF
madam icear a 1cig!'
The widow started, remained silent a
moment, and then went Off into longer,
louder, and merrier laugh than she had IN
du.ged in before; at the end of which she
drew her seat nearer the General, gravely
laid her hand upon his head, gently lifted
his wig of, and placed it upon the table!
General Uncle Toby had never known
fear in hot battle. but now h. felt most
decisive inclination to run away. The WI
dow laughed again rs though she never
would stop, and the General was Jvst about
70 clap his hat upon his denuded head ana
bolt, when the lacctious lady placed her
hlnd upon his arm and detained him. she
then deliberately raised her other hand TO
her own head. with a sort Of military pre-
ciSion, executed rapid manUuyre with
her fine fingers, pulled off her whole head
Of fine, glossy hair, and placed it uoon the