The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1842-10-11
rs ! = e Ham G oMs.
CONFESSIONS OF A VICIINi-

house IN New York, for the purpose Of acquiring
a know'edSe ot the business, preparatory to com -
mencing,on my own responsibility "A mercantile on
reef At this time was eighteen, and had but c
Gently returned from my academic studies a: New.
Haven My 2erson,at Tint early period was good;
nv mind polished by education ,&smy manners ir
not graceful, were easy. am gnd of heart and
Ambitious Of distinction eager for reputation of
integrity, and an enthusiast in my admiration O,
genius. My associates were reputable, and sons
OF gentlemen; the prospect before me was ex.
cellent, and my life glided onward like placid
stream
1t was within few weeks of my 10Th birth day
That became acquainted with Amelia Montfort.
She was being of perfect virtue, ct transcendant
beauty and OF uncommon mud-had an eye for the
beauties of nature and sou for the spell Of poesy
She was three years my iunior; her beauty rather
in the blossom THIN the bud and her intellect more
remarkable for its GIFT of Imagination thnn for rs
power. She had mir gied lr:Ie with society ; knew
little of the beartIessness OF mankind !; and her
heart was the temple Of enthusiastic and ardent,
but Of hailowed feelings.
For myself. had mingled much in female socie
ty had passed many "a thin red lip and bowed
befora many rich dark eve. Amelia was glad
woman IN dignity, and when she elected admtra
lion, it was blended with esteem. Mingled in her
temperament also, there was a tingo of romance ;
it was the romance rather of devoted feeling than
Of affected sentiment and even when her affections
were hoalded up in the sanctuary OF her own pure
bosom, she acIuoyy led ed their burning intensity
and confessed the doIatry which would ningle in
her love. In brief, Ame,ia became the beau ideal
e. L
was, her ardent admirer.
Ny thoughts bound up in The frenzy of my
fealings affection had impaired to my character
a new tnge, and to my habits another current Ia
nv conmunngs with that being, was Supremacy
happy. There euchanlment in The very a..
orosphora she broIthed my dreams caught their
delirinns r1pIures from her memory, and my wa
king though,s dwell constantly on Amelia. She
was worthy o all my regard worthy Of all de
vo,ion. and every hour seemed to unfold some es>
tiruabe tralt in her chafacier
When I WIS twenty wears of age''ve were mar
riod. Ny father reIinqrished his business in rny
favor, and lie g'ided for another year, all sun
shine aud happiness. BY this time had gone out
more frequently TO mngIe with the world; becume
iulerc s'cd in politics and thrsted for power
engaged III 4 lucrative mercantile career; my
fumiiy influential and my aid reality accepted
il not court"d, by the WHY and perfdious minio,s
of office. Gradually became deeply Interested in
putcal warfare gradu ally forgot the spe'! o.
my wifes virtue aud affections; and, gradually
there deirium and JOY in the WINE emp, and
became one of the votarres Of Sacchus.
cannot portray how insidiously the charm
we've into my srnses, and FILTERED away my lacuI.
ties. 1t now seems terrible and impossible
dream but The horrors of that dream impru-
ted with letters of fire upon my BRAIN. The ago
MES of my remorse have been serpeIIts gnawIng
the tenderest vi,aIs of my existence. gaze bnok
upon the past, 81 won Id fain blot it's halIowed mo-
ments from the page OF my being.
But 10 continue. With ''steathy steps and Stow
became the victim of Intemperanco neglected
my business and was bankrupt; first pom
ted at and pited by my relatives and friends, and
at last, summed and despised as disgrace and
dishonor
II was many months before my wife could bring
herself to the conviction tina; was n drunknrd l.
that had come to her in youth and beauty I, that
had called forth and broken up the Utmost recess
es of her soul |, that aPpauded FOR my integ
rrty. honored for my virtue, and etnulated Tor my
charac ter!-how could she deem me drunkard; a
loatned and contemplate sot, disgrace TO my
4
her eyes for weary period upon truth so horri
BILE and end Favored shut out from her and
her understanding the biuckness my guilt Oh
God! how that being chung to and worshIpped me,
even amid the abject contumeiy Of my degradation
How she chung amid the wretchedness Of her de
spair, TO the hope that might be retrieved. How
she wept and persuaded, and underworld to iasci
nate me back to my domestic enioyments, and tn
keep me- even Cor night, from the dens OF ini
quity and the revery Of crime: How she ''threw
her white around me, besought me with
earnest looks and pure caresses, to remember my
early vows; to remember my own happiness, her
peace of mind and my fathers cares for the sake
of his only child, and the heir of his hitherto un
spotted fame. Oh my God! how impossible II now
seems that l should have steeled my heart against
such persuations how impossible il seems that 4
could have gone forth after such scene as this,
and bathed my senses like brute, in the debasng