The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1842-11-17
NOTES FOR A TOURIsT.

"madam SAID Tree spoken, warm hearted, ems
thusiastic, and little quzzcal Of old Kentucky,
while paying his devors to of the famous lady tou
rsts Of America: "Madam, you should have been born
in America; the greatest country in the known world;
nature has clustered all her Stupendous and dazzling
works upon this land, and you should be among
teml We have got the greatest men, he6nest men, the
finest women the broadest lakes, theiaest trees, the
widest pairies the highest waterfalls and the biggest
hearts in all creation
"Madam, 60 and see the falls Of Niagara. May the
Lord take liking to you, my dear ma am, if didn't
think I'd walked up in futuriy when first seed that
big santendicuar puddle, (slanendicuars age bra
word ma am you mayn't know it) Why Madam,
could tell you something about them falS-but you
mustn't put il in your book COS uobody ever believe
it. The people that live round about there all lose
their spesch, and never hear each other speak for
years. with the noise Of the caaractl Fact ma ann true
as that's pencil and note book your taking ou, of
your pocket. Why there a lived there ten
years, and he got SO desf he never knew man was
speaking TO him. till pail of Water was poured down
the back Of his Ieckl When you go to see the Falls
ma an, you must do all the talking you want to be-
fore you get within twenty miles Of them, for af-
ter that, not word of any kind can be heard.
"Then, ma' am you shond 60 and see the great
in Kentucky, where the bats hbarnaculae in countless
millions There snch another hole in the ground
TO be found upon the face of the earth. Maam if you
60 back TO Enga without seeing our mammoth cave
you'll put your foot in it--no, no, beg pardon, ex-
cuse me-that's quite impossible; you'll leave big
hole in the book you're going to write. There is no
end known to it, ma'am; and there is salt water lake
in the middle of it twenty-five miles broad. One Of
the rooms is called the 'An!podian Chamber from
the unpronounceabe fact that that man can walk just
as easy upon the ceiling upon the oOr and, in this
apartment, there's patural fountain ofpure brandy!
"The same cave, too Is positive cure for consump-
ton. ..- -..
'You haint been south yet, nave you ma'am you
haint seen the Mississippi river and the city of New
Oreansl Well ma am New Orleans is hundred and
twenty-five feet below the level Of the sea, and the
Mississippi runs through canal bridge right the
cily The inhabitants chiefly agators and screech
owls the two last words have been vugary perverta
ed to Creole. Their food is chiefly gum, procured
from trees in the swamp and which they call gumbo
There is paper published there called the Picaroon,
the name being well chosen significant of rs pros
fessed piraces upon Kaut's Philosophy Baron Mum
chausen, the Pilgrims Progress, Joe Miller, Washing
ton Irving, and life in London. 1t s violent and
stupendous political print and the government of the
country has endeavored in vain to suppress it, One Of
the peculiar marks of this extraordinary city is the
tire absence of those small quadrupeds Of the genus
most commonly known as rats. One was seen many
years ago by citizen who brutally murdered The un-
known creature. but was Immediately tried and SEN
fenced 10 be hung for the enormity. ......
'You will hear ma am great deal about the floating
population of New Orleans, phrase which you will
understand when tell you that tho town is half the
year under nundaon from the Mlssippl You should
have been born in America. my dear ma am but you
were not, you moy possibly die here, and that's some
consolation for you"