Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, IA [i.e. Ind.]) 1839-1854, 1842-04-30
Published by request.
THE BASuFUL MAN.

As my obec, is bu, TO give a specimen OF The
numerous nisfortunes that necessarily bese' me
the moment ] appear in ladies' society, shall
merely speak Of those that befeI me at the only
dinner in Paris TO which / was invited Though
laden with introductory letters, | never delivered
another.
] pass by the various eff,ris ! made before
could muster sufficient resolution 10 deliver TO
Madame O. tho that procured for me, and a
friend who went with me, 10 the dinner IN qnes-
ton ] pass by my trepda ton at the everlasting
penI with which the bell responded TO my touch
Scarcely could distinguish the Partez an Suisse
over the porter's lodge, where probably Swiss
never stood since its erection. pass by several
minor blunders; such as asking the porter to d.
rect Us 10 "Id chdmbce de Wdddme,' meaning
her drawing room. Suffice II TO say, that my
less nervous companion, dictionary III hand, bold
ly led the way; TINT having 'raVersed a good mum
Der of courts and stairs, we at length arrived
safely an room, where stood servant be-
fore a pair Of folding doors, which he threw VIDE
open. and announced us by pair OF names, That
We should nover have recognized as our own, had
met them elsewhere.
Already agitaied and perspiring with nervous
trepidation, this DESTINATIONS mode Of entrance,
so different from the republican simplicity to
which accustomed, was formidable trial
10 me. My cheeks tInged, nv knees trembled,
and my heart beat violently. | skunk silently be-
hind my unabashed companion and endeavored to
gather sufficient courage to conceal the uemor
10 receive US; and, as we approached her, It be-
came necessary tina, should deploye from behind
my friend. But in doing | did notice
large pet dog, who, comfortably stretched on red
viewed cushion, Law mapping beside his mistress,
directly in my path. On | went, anxious only TO
get ihro' the Introductory ceremonies soon
possible, and then to ensconce myself in some re-
mote corner, where,
'.The world forgetting, by world forgot"
! nigh, escape all notice remark. But truly
SAYS the French provorb "Mun proposes, but God
dsposes;' and very unfortunate were his disposi-
tons for my intention. IA | FASTENED on. all
glowing with confusion, aud quakng with fright,
Just as began my bow, stumbled over the DC
tested pet, and suddenly prccipltated head
foremost. like an ancient battering ram, into the
lap oil Miss p; overtnrnlhg cpIsod!caIly coun
trymln 81 my own who was seated next her, ba-
ancing his chair ITS two hiud legs. To save
himself, he instiuctiveiy grasped the back Of her
chair; and his weight at her renr, acting at the
same moment that was hurled at her in front.
decided all hesitatlon and over we all rolled to-
gethcr, the chairs uPpernost. The vile cur who
had been at tho bottom Of the whole mischief,
seized me by the leg, aud received n hearty kick
in return, added his bowling to the chorus Of dis
may that now filled the apartment. Happily,
tho female sufferer in this melee engrossed all
the sympathy and attention of the company; but
l well knew, that IN the short minute that had c
lapsed since | had entered tho apartment had
made three mortal enemies, of a man, dog, and
U lady.
For my own part, as soon as | had ex,ricated
myself from the terrible crash, conEusOu, and
shame ! relreated into the most obscure corner Of
The room, where sought to hide myself aud my
overwhelming modification behind the guests
who were iounglng about there.
The call To dnucr served a relief to my en-
barrassment; | hoped that would engross every
ones attention, which now, could not help feel
ing, must be occupied with my awkwardness.-
Following the company To the dining-room, saw
that each plate contained a card, on which was
written the name of the guest who was 10 occupy
The place thus designated. Every one seemed to
find his place by magic; but for me, four
five times did | make the circuit OF the table,
looking vain for mine. Indeed, know not bu,
l might have continued, running about all dinner
time unnoticed among the crowd of servants, had
not Madame O's eyes Il, length detected me
circled round and round with an historically IN
creasing rapidIty, my eyes dim with confusion,
md a clammy perspiraion bedewing every pore
Of my body; and a, length sunk into seat,
when found fairly exhausted with modification
and shame. Here. again. found myself emhar-
raised with my hat, Which, having observed that
nll retained III the ORA" iug-room. still grasped
with nervous pertnacrv. THIS | at lengt h dis
posed of, rs | thought al the time with wonderful
ingenuity; for hung II by the brim between my
kuees, spreading my handkerchief over its open
cavity.
NV seat was mex, 10 a young lady. whom Of
course was expected 10 entertain. entertain!
Wofu!ly, already, had entertained the company ;
bu, found myself infinitely better adapted en-
terrain company than sipgulatioa.
The ordinary routine of a French dinner now
commenced. Soup, and bouillie, fish. fowl, and
flesh; enfrsmefs and hors d'Gurres, while series
Of servants appeared each instant our elbows
inviting to partake of thousand different
dishes, and as many dieron, kinds of wine all
under strings of names which | no under
stood, than | understood their composition, or
than they did my eaucheries. Resoiute TO avoid
all further opportunities for display ing my FREEDOM
ipant trait. l sat in the most obstinate silence,
saying yes to every thing that offered me.
and eating with most dev oted applica ;icu ill., in
an evil hour, my fair neighbor. weary Of my la
cIurni'y and her own. at length herself began a
conversation. BY nquuing how was pleased with