The Charlotte journal. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1835-1851, 1842-03-10
.WESCEEE.E.7EOTS.
RARNARy DIDnTrDI1u

BARNABY DIDDLEDUM.
Tim Slocum and his ne,ghborS-the hon
est pork Stedler -Impudence Ertraordi.
ndry-The lriskoaan in quaadary-
The pig and he puppy-the deril IA a
fro bashel bag
have before mentioned my old neigh.
Dor Tim SIocum, and the great zsst with
which he always enjoyed a Joke. He Ii.
ked a hearty laugh SO much, that he would
sooner have it at his own expense, than
not have il at all, Tim lived in a remarka
bly, honest neighbcrhood. Nearly all OF
his neighbors belonging 10 the church; in.
deed they were so exceedingly pous, that
they could hardly engage in 40 ordinary
conversation, without interlarding their
language with scripture phraseology..-
Like the hypocrte described by Pollock,
in scripture terms they bought, aud sold
aud lied But notwithstanding the very
atmosphere which Tim breathed was filed
with piety, still Tim was sure there were
rogues somewhere near him, for nearly ey.
cry night did he miss pork from the barrel
in his cellar. He knew no! whom TO sus.
peci. If he should mention il 10 one of his
neighbors, ten to one bu, be would be an
swered with quotation froCc the Bible
So Tim concluded he might better say
nothing but watch the closer. Where all
were Saints he knew not whom 10 sus
pect, he therefore tried to preserve the ut.
mos. secresy till such time as he should
be convinced by ocular demonstration,
who the thief was. lie was not long KEEP,
in suspense. One night at abou. eleven
O'Clock, having occasion 10 90 TO his cellar
after a mug of cider, he was not little sur
prised IN discovering one Of the elders of the
church 10 the very &C. of filling bag from
Tins pork barrel. Tim stood rveted 10
the spot with as.onIshmeht expecting every
instant to see the thief fall on his knees and
implore for mercy bu, his surprise may
well be imagined when the elder, with a
sanctimoniO0s twaDg exclaimed, The
wicked fee when no man pursueth, bat the
righteous are as bold as lion, at The same
time lhrusting his hand in the barrel and
bringing forth another piece Of pork
The joke was too good TO be lost. As
soon as Tim recovered from his surprise,
he reared With laughter, al the same time
exclaiming, You internal weaZel faced
hypocritioal scoundrel, your inpudence
beats the dovil by fifty per cent. 1t IS
perfect Curiosity, and worth paying for
take the bag Of pork 10 welcome, you have
earned
And said Tim, as he afterwards IRE.
quen,ly related the story with a hearty
laugh, the rascal did actually take up the
bag, placed it on bis shoulder, and with a
stately sanclded walk marched out OF the
same door he came in at, merely saying,
good night neighbor Slocum.'
Tim once had an Irishman employed on
his farm, but after several years be be.
came SO much Of a topper, that Tim wa.
obliged TO discharge him. He afterwards
became lil.e more steady, and obtained
an employment al a Mr.. Carke's, a cou,
pie of miles north of Tins resldence..-
1t so happened tina, on certain occasion,
Dir. Clarke became the fortunate owner OF
sDe litter Of young dogs Of a peculiar
breed. tie was anxious TO present one
10 TREND oil his, who resided a mile south
OF our village; SO selecting a layorite
wheip, ne placed il 10 bag, and writing a
line TO his friend, gave II 10 Pat with he
necessary directions, but at the same time
charging him not to stop on the way
Pal started, bat having 10 pass the house
OF Tim Slocum, the recollection of WHOSE
excellent whlskey, was not be wi.hs,ooc
BY gentleman Of PATS taste, be made +;
halt there. Tim soon learned wba, Pa, hac
IN his bag, and while the latter went init
The cellar to replenlsh Tins whiskey bot
tie, Tim dexterously slipped out the do,
and substituted pig of about the saml
weight. Pat returned FROM the cellar
took good pull at the whiskey hottie
ana proceeded on his journey, totally uu
conscious OF the strange metamorphos,
winch had taken place IN his bag. Arry
ing at tie place Of destination he pro
duced the letter, aud tho gentleman wa,
much pleased TO learn that his friend
Clarke had sent him dog Of the real New
Foundland breed.
Take Tho little fellow out gently, said
the gentleman addressing Pat.
The freshman put his arm in the h,,
aud was somewhat startled al hearing
grunt, aud then squeaI; but when Ii,
animal was brought 10 the ligh, and prov
ed to be pig, Pat could not help ezclaim
ing.
Holy Virgin iii! isn't a pig may | be
hapged "