Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1841-1853, 1842-03-29
SHORT PATENT SERMON.

SHORT PATENT SERMON,
By DOW, JH.
am requested to preach, this occasion from the M
loving text which may be found in Lord Byron'- Don
Juan
Petcoat influence is great ,e9-oach
winch even those who obey would flin Be thought
10 ny tom, as from hungry pixies roacn,
But since, beneath u upon earth we are brought.
fy various J1lungS of LIES hacllcy coach,
J. Tor one yenefate pc.,icost-
"a mcnt of mystical sublimitv
No matter whether russell, silk t.nity.
Ny heafers--you may look upon pelling small
potatoes Tor me To preach about such comparatively insig
nlhcan things as prtuc1ais bat don't think There
Is something sublime, mysterious potent soul enthra
ling ia pelticoa The influence that exerts the
hearts OF men, Is no less powerful than mysterious
lis magnetic properties never could rationoy explain
and su think have looked about deep INTO the sub
ect as any man OF my number of wears Yes my friends
petllcoit puzzles me. aud my philosophy most exten
s.vey. It makes difference what kind OF stuff
made Of whether 81 k. dmi,y russell or red flannel It's
attractive aud capturing power nearly all the 1t
has that same property Of attracting the needle OF mans
affections to one particular spot the magnet at
uacted towards the pole the lips OF lovers APP
ProXlmated by some mystical influence.
Ny trIends-A peIticoat Is great shakes after all
when II hangs hutterng upon clothes line. Hundreds,
aye thousands may pass by At without feeling disturbed IN
the least about the sensitive region of the heart where
Love builds her downy nest, but leaves and then
throng OF care prorudug from its sides but Just hitch this
mysterious garment upon the back OF feminine beauty
let II gently swing To aud FRO according the dictates
afectauon and pade, and saucy young hurricane will
sweep through the bosom OF each male hchode cause
him to apply tie graPPngrons of resolution To his heart,
lest It's brittle threads be snapped and the whole precious
concern be carried forever Petcoat influence from
some cause OF other oosdeed 10 &c great rcyroach
nasnuch as those who obey the most, the very
to crawl out from under its hens aud declare that has
no more eject upon them than glass of other
dIuretc, has upon the clouds time OF drought. But
my friends don't why it should be thought re-
proach There Is no HARM am sure, Of being under the
influence OF pettcoat that eniolis pure beautiful and
NrtuOus lump OF female cOrpJrey; but 1t truly
Eliminating 10 be confined IN the atmosphere of that
shakes vice from It's folds and drags neither extremity
through the mud and fifth Of niquty 1t is your own
fault my young friends II You governed by one of this
description ltyou follow of these into the dark alleys
OF lewdness, you just foolish fish that bites at
red woolen rag, or an eel that hangs to the bob be-
youd the surface of the water.
Oh! my dear ir.ends-if YOU are 10 be swaved bv any
OF the petlcoat tribe pray you TO let those rule
the white dimIes OF virtue morality and heart born
love. They are sub-auges whom the angels of Heaven
have deputed to s,urn for upon earth only
fresh along the path man. egad
cate every noXlous weed that grows the hOwer-bed of
his affections. You need mt be ashamed of such etcoat
influence thisiOr wholesome as bean-porridge
to peaslu-'ut take petucolt my ends that has been
washed some fifteen twenty times the s)apsujs OF
matrimony, and you will often find that the myscriousness
OF ITS power Is all gOne-washed Out-vanishcd. Its pu-
issance then comprehensive reality YOU can
understand 1t without the aid OF interpreter. Marriage
happiness aud 1t not unfrequety places hin in a soul
CALLING bondage where theie Is 10 backing oui-no re-
treatlng-no climbing Overland no breaking through.
This connubia petcoat influence decidedly epraach;
aud well may rs shecpsh subjects hang their heads for
shame while they acknoN ledge their servlIty. always
turn the cock TO the fountain Of my sympathy all such
puslanmous Tools, and let them work their sal
vaton with fear, trembling, washing dishes and psaiag
potatoes. The idea oi calling themselves lords the
soil, when not one Ia oI masters their own
homes ridiculous that shall waste nv valuable
wind IN blowing words Wen let that pass-as the
pigs said to tae locomotive.
My hearers yeneratc petticoat, and might any
one who has moral courage sufficient o protect himself
from rs despotc ar,iramen lake t on Inc whole ID is
cha-tener, purifier, rehner comforter aud couector
man. Man without a woman. Is a mou,trr-s.UNenly 40
dress, uncouh ID appearance, abrupt mtuners. aud
gar IA conversation. IL indebted to etc0at for all
ms polish, his manly qualities, aud his heavenly virtues
aud hope awaNs 10 tins ag-e p cited. the
OF good that II has wrought, aud Is daily working THIS
word OF SIN aud ni4ut5.
But 10y dear friends, p. tcoats gtIu. % De-
rather too short - the preset ddy 20 c,c much good
Some don't even wear any at ALL lou know as wei. as
l. that of modern female dancers order
great display possible, aud exhibit all their al
uactve qualities, even aus apology virtue
protector aud the consequence is, they take whole
munty boy storm, and sacrifice their own regulations n
obtaining DE conquest Therefore m, dear a,taf,u be
cautious be careful of petcoat influence BE not brought
under too hastily, and neither keep altogether without
the pale cd us powersaut pursue medium aud
all the honor. the glory and the praise shall hc yours world
without end. ~ mote it be-
LEAR>1~G ANp REroH,.-It may seen a paradox to