Bloomington herald. [volume] (Bloomington, I. T. [Iowa]) 1840-1849, 1842-01-07

neglected my D1SlnesS anu was Oon hfuP'-
was at first painted at and pitied BY my friends
and relatives, and at last stunned and despised
as disgrace and dishonor.
1t was many months before my wife could
bring herself to the conviction that was
drunkard. that had come to her IN youth
and. beauty-I that had called forth and broken
up the Utmost recesses Of my soul! l that
l.vas appauded for my integrty-honored for
my virtue, and emulaed for my character! how
could she deem me drunkard-a loathed and
eontemptible sot; disgrace to my name, and
q disgraceto humanity! She closed her eyes
for weary period upon truth so horrible, and
lendeavored to shut cut from her senses and IN
I Outstanding the blackness Of my guilt! Oh,
God! how that being clnng to, and worship
pc me, even amid the abject contumely OF my
degradation. How she chung amid the wretch.
/, edness Of her DESPAIR; to the hope that might
f YET be retrieved. How she wept, and PERSIA
| ded, and endeavored to fascinate me back to
my domestic enjoy nents, and to keep me, even
| for one night, from among the dens OF lnlqulty
and the revelry crime! How she threw her
white arms around me- and besought me with
earnest lock to remember my early vows, 10
remember my own happincss-her peace OF
mind, and my fathers cares tor the sake OF MS
! only child, and the heir to his hitherto unspot-
ted fame. Oh, my God! how Impossible Il
now seems th.t should have steeled my heart
against such persuasions-how Impossible II
seems that could have gone forth after such
scene as this and bathed my senses, ike
brute, in the debasing influence of lntoxlcatlon.
| Would that again might hear the glad voice
| of my Amelia, and bask in the innocent smiles
| of her affection! Would could call up the
shade of nv murdered sire; and weep away
nv shame and anguish in tears OF blood: but
! in vain now is the agony Of my remorse-in
vain do repent Of early error, and invoke the
past hours.
| Ii was probable three years after my mat
| rage fiat became bankrupt-tlle progress
| ofvvy debasement from that period was rapid.
give myself completely up to intemPerance.
| The intoxicating draught operated upon my
mind, like some bewildered spell ofintatuasfon
was unable to turn away from the the ude
of ignominy which was hurrylng me to the
| vortex of destruction. My mind, though 1t did
not actually decay. seemed somewhat affected
| with my body. Ny affections were benumbed
and torpid, and the sympathies OF my bosom
| held affinity with nothing but drink.
| Amid the most abject poverty, my vile sha-
red my destiny. Boated and distorted as were
my features, she still imagined she saw 1t In
its traces of my early condition. And when
| in some ftful moment of remorse and sanity
nsofessed repentance wien for momenl,
told her that my affection tor her still lived
Oh! God what flush of JOY overspread the
features of my poor Amelia-what thrill OF
rapture seemed tingling through her velns' as
she still hoped to save me.
Then she would tell me over all my pros
poets of retrieving my fortune-ihat was yet
Young, that my father would receive me back
| into his conhdence-that she would love and
cherish me-and then for moment, melted and
overcome, would promise her TO reform. But
could not. The curse was upon me, and IN
vain endeavored to shake it of.
At last my poor wife grew SICK +; she bore
ND for long season under her suffering but
finally her heart broke-and she died.
| I had humanity enough left to know the ex-
tent of the esll had inhicted-but in the hor-
rors of the moment had but one source, the
bowl-the accursed bowl. Again and again
| slipped of Its deep damnation.
| A little longer and was spectacle disgust
| inc to the philanthropist. beggar and
drunkard, wandered through the streets OF
| nv native city, an abject of contempt and
shame. NV father spurned me from his door
but alas. the old man was but little while
for this world. Ny Infamous career soon bore
his cray hairs with sorrow to the grave. he
heoneatbed his fortune to distant relative.
| At the time of his death was tenant OF
the aims house, being victim of nnn'a potu,
and maniac.
For a lone time struggled with death but
was vet Young, and finally recovered. My
form was now emaciated, and my countenance
| CHASTITY.
Nv mind has somewhat recovered It's former
| capacity. but as nv reason hoated back, Good
| God s! what horrid images mingled among my
memories. was the murderer of my wife
was parricide and my fathers dying gioans
and malediction, seemed like an etelha1 Ane'i
in my ears.
l have ,oiled through twenty years more
have lived a life Of the most appalling suHef-
| ings and misery: and now. whilst totter on
the brink of eternity, am still drunkara =
/ If ever human being has suffered 1or Inc
crime of drunkenness, that being am l. !
have hesita,ed often as to launching myself
into another world, but resolved to bear the
AGONY of my reflections and the horrors OF my
condition as an atonement for my crimes.
am murderer! feel as linger on tho
confines of this world, that have murdered
the wife of my bosom feel that have sent
INV father in his old age with sorrow to his
tomb! But oh /! have not by living squallldi
misery. in degradation and in infamy, suffered
more than thousand deaths? Forgive be-
seech the God, in this my last and mortal
hour of anguish! Forgive me; salnted spirit
&c NV injured wife, and hallowed shadow Of