Litchfield enquirer., 1842-09-22
A SHARP SCHOLAR.

lars upon certain points of scripura history asked little shaver the following -" How long w. re the children of Israel in the wilderness ?'' How lng ?'' Yes" "1hey there until they f,und their way out, responded the urchin. "Very well. Wha, calamity b:feI Nebuc!adnezzar fr his wirkcdness ?'' He was obliged iururn Grahamie and i've vege- tab'es." " You can take your seat-N o. Pic.
 Infantine Murphies,'' is the lates' improvement of the expression "smnii po,atoes'' When the Yan- kees wish to express great contempt EE any party they say" They small potatoes and few in hif"
 Ayoung sprig from New York visited the Shakers at Lebanon the other day, and, he was wandering through the village, encountered stout, heavy spe- cimen of the sect and thus accosied him :-" We'll broad brin, are you much of a Shnker ?" " Nay" :" said the other, not oyermuch, but can do lit,le that way" So he seized the assonished Gothamiie by the collar and aearly shook him ou, of his boots -- 5s-s '' NorwicA Courier.
 Why do you nns present yourself as candidate for Congress ?? said lady the other day to her hus. baud. tall man, who was confined to his chair hy the gout. "Why should my dear ?' replied he, "I am not qualified for the office.'' "Nay, but think you arc, returned the wife, your language and ac- tions are parliamentary. When bills are psesen,ed. you order them Io be laid on the table, or make mo sion to rise; though often out o order yOu still supported by tle chair often poke your nose into measures which destroy the constitution
 SoFTENING THE ExrREssIoN.-"T That's laundering big lie ," said Tom. "No." replied Dick, !" i,'s only Illuminating enlargement of elongated veraciiy."- Harry took of his hat. elevated his eyes, and held his tongue.
 There is place in New Hampshire, where they cut up old maids for sausages to poison dogs after they ge, to be thirty years old.
 Hove hearty grasp: it speaks confidence and good wilt. When man gives me his hand loosely, and i, hangs in mine like mere rag. am apt to think he is either unfrieRdy, oE incapable e frendship-cod hearted calculating and unieeling.
 Why is Congressional orator like Sampson r. Dye give it up? Because he puts the people to fligh with the jawbone ofan ass.
 A fellow Down East says that the times are sc hard, he thinks of leaving this world and climbing tree! Poor fellow!
 Charitable Alludng to the new goods tempting purchasers for the summer season, in New Orleans. the Crescent says Now's the time to De extravi. gant. Walk in, gentlemen. get more than you can pay for, the jail is handy. Walk in ladies ard ruin your husbands; razor or pistol wl easily make you widows.
 Soep Locks Protected-By the new tariff . duty os twenty.f five per cent nd valoFem is put upon hu. man hair eleansed and prepared for usc." Native soap locks, whskers and mperiala will now flourish in place of the foreign articles.
 "I say. Pat," said Yankee to an Irishman, who was digging in his garden, "sre you digging out q hole in that there onion he'd" "No," says Pat, "1 am digging out the earth and leaving the hole"
 Married, in Boston on the 18th ult. Mr. Edward A. Slowed 10 Miss Mary High. This is an unfortunate marriage; Edward gets high and Mary gets sleOed!
 In old times, it is said there was comet that had
 tail 80 long sha. it reached half way across the sky and on the end was written in Creek Co De eonsinued
 We once saw lady laced 90 that. while stepping to pick up pin, her stays gave way and she turned three soerse,s in consequences. It gave our natural mOdesty an awful shock.
 There are said to be two scripture proofs that fe. males do not go 10 heaven. First" There appeared a greaf ~onder in heaven, To! q poman!" Second- There silence in heaven for the space of ha an hour"
 Redempfion.-A would.be prophet down South late. ly said, in of his sermons, that he was sent to redeem the world, and all things ,herein," whereup on native pulled out a five dollar bill nf the Ex change Bank, and two of the same denomination O the Atchalaya. and asked him to fork over the spe cie for them. The prophet was posed for once, hi, stock Ofredempon not heinz adequate to the purpose
 An old lady who sells eggs in Cincinnati. has ovc her door, New laid eggs every morning by Betty Briggs"
 A gentleman who was impor,uned by a sturdy hou ' poor yourself with only the difference that wha. have work for"
 Politicians run mad in April and November r-dogs in July and August. "
 "lts more blessed to give than to receive" the scl'oo boy said ven theNmaser aogged him.
 The Germans (wno have tho best opportunity ol knowing) set down 253Oo0,OOO ss the population Ol China.
 Very GOOd.-" When is a bedstead not bcdstead' When i. is Enie Jsggy." Sanguinsry idea that.
 A catfish was lately taken, out west, which, upon being cut open wss found to contain, besides four teen yards of red flannel, T'ppecanoe song book, box of Tegslia segaTs. boot jack, four penknives. table spoons. and box ol Brandreths pills, he. sides six,een cOpies Of Marsh Poems.-Prov. Care.
 "A LEARNED THEBAN."
 The following is extracted from the last number of one of the very best papers of its kind in the country. the New York Sunday Mercury. II is a portion of a Frenchman's lecture on certain passages of the plaJs of Shakspere.s n
 Ce Monsieur Rishard the tird. king of An. gteterre, was, in the odium of his couotrje, one queer eovey un droll chap. When he first came on de stage before l'audiiore. he tell zem he and his famille have just got ovare c dam disAgreeable wintare. II dit
 Now is de win,sre Of our disconsent