davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
NTY, PA, WEDNESDAY, JULY 20, 1912.

1t is just morning, and the topers are abroad,
and they who rise early for better reasons
Look ihere" cried one, "what's that basket
there for with feather in it?' The poor Cap
tain heard a sound and lifted up his head.
"What under heaven" said another, sis that
fellow about up alofi in basket at this time
day?" A crowd is collected about him, and al
length landlord Rugges appears.
Landlord! you rascal-.what did you leave
me here for! but JUS, get me down and I'll no!
hurt YOU for i,p' "Hurt me!' cried the land
lord, ''onIy think now, calling me rascal;
man strung up in basket along side OF a house.
Safeguarding Forward march, menu
Upon this a file of soldiers belonging 10 the
American detachment, wheeled round the cor
ner and surrounded the spot. Captain Fudge
trembed from head 10 foot, and begged the
landlord TO gel him down. $50 ho!" said the
landlord --"Captain Fudge, who has shot TWEEN
ty-one men and stabbed eleven---leaped four
six-bar fences just ahead Of a bullei---run a
gauntlet along sharp fire Of musqueiry and
mounted Bucephalus at the head OF his gallant
company; really afraid to jump fifteen feet!
Bur stand up on your feet, for you may as well
come down at once;---l had good hand at
trigger in the old French war" so saying, ne
took gun from soldier, and the Tory Cap
tain, as he was about TO protest, was cut short
by the crack Of the muskel; the rope parted
aud basket and Captain bounced on the ground
Forward march," cried the corporal as his
men formed around the gallant but crest fallen
Captain, and---our interesting hero--was safely
lodged prisoner in The American camp.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
Composition of Various Alloys.

Bell metal is composed Of two parts Of cop
per and one Of lin. Brass is composed OF two
parts of copper TO one of zinc; or copper aud
calamne, ian ore Of ziuc,) equal quantities
Pinchback consists of from FIVE 10 ten parts
copper and one Of zinc. Gun metal, nine parts
copper and one of tin. Tomback, sixteen parts
copper, one part zinc and one OF I'M The
composition Of pewter is seven pounds OIL I'm,
one of lead, four ounces Of copper and two ol
zinc. That of typemetal is nine parts lead, two
Dar,s an,imony and one bismu,h. Solder, Two
par,s Of lead with one Of Tin. Queens metal.
nine parts of tin, one Of bismu,h, one Of anllin"-
nv and one of lead. Jewel gold is composed
Of twenty five parts gold, four parts silver, anI
seven parts fine copper. In forming metallic
compounds or alloys, it is proper 10 melt such
of the ingredients as are the least fusibl4 first,
and afterwards the ohersi stirring them briskly
ill they are thoroughly commixed,
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
A Hard Party.

A western lawyer, who was endeavoring to
clear notorious gambler from an indictment
for keeping faro table, declared to the jury
that if they convicted his client, they would be
bound in law TO convict both himself and the
Judge, as they were both "aiding and betting
at the game when the arrest was made! In
consequence Of this the jury hung, for one halt
were in favor Of cohvicling judge and lawyer
with the prisoner. but the other half could not
agree, as they would thereby have convicted
themselves, having been busily engaged al The
faro table al time
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
Absurdities.

For dandy to wear his pantaloons SO tight
that he is obliged TO take portion Of Brand
re,h's pills to "work them of"
For the people to look into an almanac 10 see
If there is 10 be snow storm on the coming
fourth OF July.
To suppose that ducks and geese are in favor
OF umbrellas and overshoes, or that poultry can
be fat,ed on hickory shoe-pegs.
To suppose that any common man can swal-
low the granite hills of New Hampshire with
out their being thoroughly creased.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
Mechanics!

Allow not yourselves to be discouraged---iei
your motto be OnUGrd, and rush through every
obstacle which frowning fortune may throw
in your path Accomplish every thing which
YOU undertake, but undertake nothing which an
enlightened conscience will not approve. Hon
esiy will procure what wealth, fame or knowl-
edge cannot without it---.happiness !---and if
your purpose is to fill the station with honor,
WHICH kind Providence has marked out for
you, never despair if occasionally the clouds OF
adrersity lower over your heads, and your lot
appears cas-. with gloom. Though humble your
station, forget not your duty to the world, TO your
country, 10 your homes, TO yourselves Lille is
made IN of small items, and every Item adds or
de,racls from the worlds welfare. The hum
blest man in the universe, exerts an influence
for good. or evil which will tell throughout
eternity, and hence the importance oI purity Oh
purpose, and integrity of conduct "Be sure
you are right, then go ahead" is maxim,
which contains more wisdom and rational
meaning, than its en,erprising author, Croeke',
was probably aware Of: and may be adopted
as rule Of life by all honest and industrious
werhanics IN. Y. Mechanic.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
POETRY.
The Farmers Harvest Song.

Ho. rouse We lad!-the morning breeze
Has swept the mist from the stream,
And afar on the hills, the towering trees
Are tipt with days first beam.
The stars are gone--the night has sped
And the lake has hailed the day;
Arouse We, then while the morn is red
Away to the felds-away,
To us no music sounds more sweet
Than the sharpening clang of the scythei
And echoing hills with gladness greet,
The song Of the reaper blithe.
How pleasant to follow, with rake in hand,
The mowers devious way,
And scatter abroad with hghtsome wand.
The green and PeriUEaod hay.
Let the soldiers excl, IN the pOmp Of war,
The king in has ssgf IhIoOed hall
The freebOrn farmer Is happier far
Than kings and lords, and all.
His are no fields with carnage red,
And drenched with tie blood Of the slain;
But hills and wales o'er which Is spread
A harvest Of waving gram.
The summer sun, DER valley and plain,
Has shed his genial ray,
Til smiling acres of golden grain
Await the harvest day:
And into their borders we will fail
To carry the war 'to the knife
And eager, too, are the cradle and fail
To be welded in the bloodless strife.
Then up, and away; while the diamond dew
Bespangles the bending corn;
And gaily the labor, the while we WOO
The bracing breath of morn.
And under the shade Of the beeches green
Well rest at noon of day;
Hurrah for the sickle and scythe so keen
AWAY to the fields away-away!
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

AT one of our fashionable watering places, re-
Gently happened self-important foreigner, who,
upon hearing the dinner bell rung at half past
o'clock, exclaimed-"ls it possible YOU dine at
this early hour in this country! Why, | have
not been used to dining till or o'clock in
London" "Our second table folks dine here
very late ALSO" was the reply of a Yankee.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY
THEODORE SCHOCH.

TERMS-Two dollars per annum in advance-Two dollars
quarter half yeay-and if not paid before the end OF
e wear Two dollars and half Those who receive their
bv carrier stage drivers employed by the proprie
In will be charged l-2 cts. per year, extra.
papers discontinued until all arearages paid except
the option of the Editor.
Advertisements exceeding square (slxeen nesl
he inserted three weeks for dollar twenty-five cents
every subsequent insertion larger proportion
heral discount will be made 10 yearly advertisers.
letters addressed to the Editor must be post paid
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
Auecdote of Franklin.

A, one time tho rich merchants and proies-
sional men in Philadelphia proposed 10 form
themselves into social circle, from which all
mechanics were 10 be excluded The paper
drawn up for this purpose was presented TO Dr'
Franklin for his signature. On examining It's
contents he remarked that he could not con-
sent 10 unite his name, inasmuch as by exciu-
ding mechanics from their circle, they had ex-
cluded God Almighty, who was the grea'es'
mechanic in the universe
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

Amid the whrIwind's terrific blast, the light
ning's binding flash, and the dread roar Of the
mighty cataract, what must the murderer feet
when he beholds his bloody and expiring VIC
tim lump up and bite his back.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

A very ugly man, who was great horncui-
turist, being found by yisiter perched up IN
cherry tree, bis friend exclaimed, 'No wonder.
Phillip, that you have the finest fruit in the
country, for you are not only your own garden
er, but, egad, your own scare-crow too"
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20
Washington.

1t is stated as singular coincidence in the
death of this great and good man, that he drew
his last breath in the last hour in the last day
of the last week in the last month Of the year,
and in the last year of the century, viz; Satur-
day night, l2 o'clock, December 81, 1929.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

1t is stated that a, the late Settling Day"
al Tattersall's in London, after the Derby stakes
at the EPSON Races, the Rev. MIR. Pretiyman,
a clergyman, was found to be defaulter up
wards of $4,000. A pretty man, truly!
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

Says Bill TO Jack, show many legs would
calf have, calling the tail one!" Five" an-
swered Jack "No, 'Iwouldn't neither" says
Bill, "because calling the tail one leg wouldn't
make il so--would n!" Jack mizzled.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

Remember your last end!" said pions gen.
tieman to drunken cobbler.
81 do," said The cobbler; "my wax end just
went for cigar, and my last l have given for
loddy
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

XXX. X. K. X. K. X. X. K K-Kellup
Rushing, Kernel of the Kitchen Kabinet, Kant
Kome the Kaplan's Kause over Kongress or
the Kountry.---BoSton Md1i.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

If you would like tune or Two at dinner, tell
your wife she is not so handsome as the lady
across the way.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

"That beals me out" as the chunk OF iron
said 10 the blacksmilh's hammer.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

1t is considered gross improperly for
man TO snore so loud in church, as TO awaken
the rest of the congregation,
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

"Well, it's of no use talking" as the lad said
TO his deaf daddy.
Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1842-07-20

"Boy, what is your nameP "kooel', 81"
Yes. that is your Christian name' uu' "na' -
your other name?" "Bob, SIT
Der Vaterlandsfreund und Geist der Zeit. [volume] (Canton, Stark County, Ohio) 1837-1845, 1842-08-05

ben "-Ieid unb ltarr pcr Sdreden 9ebt Der Diener,
oas 8erlangte Su bolen, fcnmt aber ntt wteoer Der
9err fndt ibn enelte nno fnbet ibn-erbdngt an Der
&eGertbiir, nitf Der Die Berte ansctrccet fon6en
vSrpBer Sctt it babe oeS 1pps Yrrtccft
Der Vaterlandsfreund und Geist der Zeit. [volume] (Canton, Stark County, Ohio) 1837-1845, 1842-08-05

9uf benz 9rcBen ct. 9 rnharD babeu ID 9Pdus
Der tas &lCter uberfauen, bic N0nde feeten Id ,ur
Bebr uno bestcn ihre lunre auf bic Gduber. cn bem
&fe Sollen 9fduber 9efaaen ien, oa9e9en baben
cunoen etuscbBt. Die tbrSen Hdnbcr srsen ab> Obme
8eute III rnad1en
Der Vaterlandsfreund und Geist der Zeit. [volume] (Canton, Stark County, Ohio) 1837-1845, 1842-08-05
(2lus Der 011crscnretbe.)

(Nus tsr Olcr9cnretbe.)
Ocrr Oruder !-9Senn Der Wenfb fraEf 1T,
fp fIt er Olfe, np jeocr Quadalber nno jeoe5 alte
Seib rdtb ibm Elm tel an, 1eine Rraufbeit su bel
l(eu 81 braudt olde-hilfts, 9ut--ruo ntdt lv pro-
Ibirt er elm onoere6, bis er enteocr furrt Dber oot it,
@,eraoe III eilenl 1eldeu 3utanbe befnoen mir inns.
Illner 9ano 1T franf-franf at oanoel @eWerbe uno
leotn, atn @etbbeutel, uno ein jeoer pctd)er auad
iaber ia ei1 Se.tel per, nm otee Gr1nfhe1t ST eis
lcn poer Dengtens ;u lnoertt sao ."".tte toeld'es
)oiele &raft baben fou 1T en 2ari-ein be}bhssneer
2arif miro jest p6raedIager, tto es mro apgcmcnt
ec9loubt Elm foler beGbe Die raft, unere bbc 9tas
tionaltraufhet Su heilen nno oet 9eohnllden gSrbl
fauo fpeoer berprr3ubrin9en QSas eia folder Iartf
fir cine Wrfuu9 baben milrbe fplu id) onrd cine &r=
sdhun9 ocE einem ,,Wanufafturer," Die th int pbla.
belphta gublic eeb9er 9eleicu, l1d)en Sn erfldren
Gine fern ene9ene Snel, bic mir papiertnel neits
men pclcn, bate 3ehntaueno Gtrpcbuer, bic fdinntt
lid pclfcm,men nnabhdn9tS ieben, 9les 6tb9e 1el6i
lbattenihre 8auern, ibre abrperfseute itno TIRE ei
acne Manufafturfen. 9Inf cteier Snlel mar elm Capt.
tal BON eine talieno Ibalern in fltn9enoer Niuc I'M
lumanf Deld,es Capital alles plnem Manne, BEN pir
Graro uenten tpcaen, 9eb0rte 8e etnem fclden ge.
Erinaen @elbnnlauf mar natlfli Ses ebr niebrig Ii
lwrblfei(. Der Gagclcbu ,par cin Gent. Git Barrel
N(aer aat fiinf genfs coer Gage 9rbeit cine 91rr
3n Elm Gent ltuo ieber anbere 9lrfeI pcrhi(tuiEnii
gta pblau ben Qeuten ging fpohl {eiplreu tlaenps
lani ebr,. oll[d, uno sufrieben Dd par fem otei
laer, unD Sinfeu coer Nanic gleS mar tanobaft=ber
IreSc6llrant iusgene etnerlet gefern beute ober1s
,eroar Gents pertrdten bie Gtele bon 3baern llnter
anbern llmdnbeu, @iraro batte ieln @elo an unters
lhebld,e pernnen altsgeehen nno erbtelt eds 9rcS-
Sntereen fed,ssg Gbaler ocs abrs, lno lebtc oaalt
il lebsrue uno fDldes mar Itdt mfbr ben Gin 9es
ringer gef auf pie GemeJnbeit flr pen Gebrand )sJ'
Der Vaterlandsfreund und Geist der Zeit. [volume] (Canton, Stark County, Ohio) 1837-1845, 1842-08-05

Gle rufIfhe gfc9ieruna bat fir eiue N2iOcu 9Rubet
cine @ntbeduus an9efnuft 'pele ene GrtalreopIup,s
i'm Sanoel hcrocrbrin9en mus, dmli eine 6arbe, bic
ben Snoi9o erebt nlo bier Neal ncbleiler 1T. 9lr ber
ebt in llnterbanoIun9eu um bas GebeiniB fit eine
Gegernng auSufoufen. ..-
Der Vaterlandsfreund und Geist der Zeit. [volume] (Canton, Stark County, Ohio) 1837-1845, 1842-08-05

Die ga,lsen bon @iraiiaien baben beldlcfen am Is
@spleilber @pecie 3ahlang Ut begipten
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1842-04-27
For The Advertiser

Mn. Ep,roR.-I have been led by notice IN
a New York paper, taken of DR.. Wm' Cole
man, anons few others. to make sr'ei eS-
tract, which no doubt you will take pleasure III
,nhlishiny, as you mus, feel no small degree oil
nride. when you find the assidaity and talents
OF The Young men OF our State, and especially
Of our District, no, only raising the fond expect
,,;ons of relatives aud friends, bu, extoruns the
mer;,ed praise and admiration ofstrangers.
a New York paper speaks very high OF The
advantages of Clinical study, which inrse cities
,lo,e can afford. and for which New York city
is SO precminen,. There are thousands "i pa
tents there, who are the constant subjects Of
sra,niious rea.meni--preseniing every variety
OF disease, in every stage aud eondiiiori-rrer
l,oldins on, ti,cans for storing the mind with
invaluable experimental knowledge. and thus
,each;os the proper practice Of Medicine and
Surgery, for which purpose mere book descrip-
;ion is incompetent.
The writer concludes thus" Among those
in the Graduating Class (Giiy one in nu."bes,l
who viii do honor TO their profession. and who
were high credi, 10 their en'inen, preeep,oTs,
wc were pleased 10 recognize DIR. forag OF
Ala. from the Office OF DR.. Mott; DR.. Glass.
from DR.. PS,,erson's. and DR.. Coleman. sio,n
DR.. Ready's Of $. C."
Such men rs these going into the world with
such advantages as they have possessed. and
such talents as they have exhibited, canno, fail
to do much TO elevate The profession Of their
choice-,hc mos, interesting, ardous, and i'm
por,nn, Of any in society. Il.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1842-04-27
PAY TIE MECHANIC.

The rich man who employs mcchnnic,
does not always know how much incnn-
venience, loss of;inc and expense he ex-
poses him TO, by ueslccling 10 pay an un.
disputed bill, OH presentation. Without
going too deep into The subject, lei US pro-
pose very simple example. Of conslan,
occurrence. 4 mechanic undertakes a
job, for which his honest charge is fifty dol
lars. II is done to the satisfaction Of his
employer. He expects his pny on the
presentation of bill. Why should he not
receive it! lie has no bank credit: he
pays cash for stock, and he pays cash for
labor. HSTias necr employed Tor week
on that job, with Two or three journcymen,
besides furnishing the raw material. pay
ing shop rent aud other expensive coniin-
gcncies. Why should he be asked TO wait
six months or year for his money! lie
must pay his hands on Saturday, provide
for his family during the week. pay for bis
stock. rud lay up something against rent
day. Is i, rcasor:b!c-is il jus', tina, his
ready employer should ask him TO wait for
his pay until his convenient time, when
cashis not scarce-whcn 3 per ccntuIn q
month is moi to he had on The loan Of money
that belong 10 others, or which ought to be
appropriated 10 The payment OF The honest
debts, Instead Of sleeping aud fattcnins at
interest on posyuoics--or contributing 10
the artificial wants Of his family-or graft
fying 4 reckless spiri, ofspcculaliou in vision
ary stocks! Is it righteous. is it just, tina,
a man of supposed wealth should do this,
and leave the honest md hard-working
mechanic TO the mercics oil small creditors,
the opportunities OF journeymeu, and the
rapaciIy of usurious extoriioners! Ger
,aiuly nut.-Americdn Mechanic.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1842-04-27
NEW GRAIN WILL.

We copy .hc following description of a
new grain mill from the M"ble Ledger:
By invitation yesterday. we went TO see
the newly invented paieul Vertical Grain
Mill of Messrs. Miller and Twosood. IL
is impossible 10 conceive more simple
cnntrirance, or one he,ter calculated 10 Sc
cure the iwo principal purposes Of such
inventions, namely, economy and dura.
bili,y. As lis name imports, its norinn is
vertical, and lis paris nre so nnde thar in
a moment il may be adjusted to grind the
finest or coarsest kind OF meal. While we
were present. 'wo bushels Of corn were pu,
into :Iie hopper. and in eight minutes il
came out excellent meal. The machines
are Of all sizes, from those which grind
twenty, to those which grind fifty bushels
per hour.
For plantation, or one who wishes to
take in The toll by grinding his neighbors'
corn, NE could hardly recommend u more
profitable purchase. IL may be seen any
any day in operation al the mill, near tue
ship yard.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1842-04-27
From The Yiayah O5serrcr. .Ipra l6,

Our Court Of Common Pleas comlncn-
ced or Monday last aud adjourned yester-
day, his Honor Judge Butter presiding
Most Of the cases OF the docket were dis
posed of.
The Court settled an important case in
relation to The extent to which planters eau
carry out Gheir plantation regulations. IL
has been The practice. rs il tappeared in cv-
dcnce. to have at all seasons of the year.
walchmcn negroes, whose duty it was TO
keep oil all deprcGaiors-and in rhc case
tried The order was, ITO hail, and take the
deprcda!or, aud if necessary shoot" Un-
der this order negro of Mcssrs. james
aud VIM. Sparkmau. their warchman. de-
tecrcd negro of Col. =. W. Fraser in 10 :.
king green Corn from the PLANTATION Of the
former, n; mid highland discharged n
gun al him. aud lodged load of shot in
the breast Of the aegressor, of which he in-
sranllv died. The Cour, properly ruled
that the taking the liIc of the negro was
unjus'iiiable, aud the jury returned pro
pcrly, we think. verdict of $500 for the
negro killed, and costs of the Court. The
ao-ncnt on this trial, together with the
enarSe If'bc Judge. will we hope settle
what Is The la,. ~ such cases. We under
stand Ioi. razc' wil nor receive the
compensation awarded i,,.n bv the jury.
lie wished the law better unai,s,ood aud
the common license 10 waichmcn beIt,r do
! fined.
We had supposed that The case Of the
State rs. iiaIes, had settled the law and ,h,
humanity which il cnjoins on the par, o
planters and nverseers. This was an nc
''en brought, IN recover The value Of a ne
gro detected IN stealing from the field o
Nr. Moulirie. The watchman took the
negro IN the act. carried rim To the Over.
seer MIR. Hales. who was in bed. All
Ha!cs ordered This wa,cfman to switch
The thief and let him go. The watchmau
TOOK the thief 10 corner of the yard and
whipped him SO severely thai he died in an
hour or two.
The Court awarded. after an appcal 10
its highest source, damages to twice the
value OF The negro, and the costs of the
Court. Col. John 4. Aston, the owner Of
the slave declined receiving dollar. oftbe
verdict. He wished the humani,v or the
country aud the law understood. ~, homo
tins second verdict of The cour, will tend 10
make nplain. In ench of The cases NAM
ed, death followed the order of the master
or overseer In these cases, ifCoi. Aston
and Col. Fraser, had insisted in trying The
oiiendins negroes before court of Maeis.
lrates and ireebolders. the agsrcssing ne
sgroes must have been executed.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1842-04-27

WHIMSICAL INSTANCES OF MoNohaNIA.
The Rev. Simon Brown died with the
conviction That his rational soul was ami
hiialed By special iiat Of the divine will
A putient ia the Retreat" al York.
thong si,s he had no soul. heart, or lungs
A soldier wounded on The field of Auster-
fiize, was struck with delirous conviction
that he was an ill-made mode! of his for
tner self. .You ask how Pere Lambert
is, he would say" he is dead-kilIed by
Ausicrlirz that which you now see is n
mere machine made in bis own likeness.
Mr.. Neal tells US of an Oxford student,
who ordered The passing hell 10 be rung
for him, and went himself to the beIirev TO
instruct The ringers. He returned to his
bed onlyto die. A Bourbone prince thought
himself dead and refused to eat until his
friends invited him To dine with Turreue
and other French heroes long since ,l.par.
ted. There was a.tradesman who ,bouphr
himself sevenshillins piece. and adver-
Used himself thus: IF my wife presents
me for payment don'Ichangc me-" Bish.
.op WarbnFion tells ola man who thought
himselfa goose pie; and DR.. Pasrday, of
Manchester had patient who thought he
had swallowed the devil In Paris there
lived man who thought he had with 9th
ers been guillnlined. ana when NapoIeon
vas emperor their heads were all restored
but in the scramble he got the wrong Que.
A newspaper editor fancied he was par
agraph-nnd he lay in bed debating whelh-
er he should rise altogether or sentence by
senlencc.-Poston Mail.