Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1842-05-17
"BE KIND TO YOUR FATHER AND LEND

ME YOUG CoAT!'-In familiar conversa
ton with Ex-Presidcnt Van Buren, the
other day, one Of our jocose citizens made
some inquiries as 10 General Jackson, and
Mr.. Van Buren, asked if the gentleman
knew personally the General!
"Cerainly," was the reply; "blcss his
old snow top, have shaken the old hero's
hand both before and after he was made Il
| President"
ale would perhaps, know satisfaction
in receiving a word from you then" res
ponded the polite cx-statcs nan;" will
gladly bear message from you. Is there
any thing that you would ask him lorF
"Nothing but one Of his old COATS" was
he reply.
One Of his Old coats!" said Van Buren,,
with bland and quiet smile, which showed
that he anticipated something drolI.
"Ycs-onc ofthc Generals old military
coats
"Why, what would you do with itP'
.Fll tell you what I'd do with it, Martin
Van Buren," said the fac -tious gentleman.
"fd stick it upon Il pole on a flat boat, float
it Gown to the Balize land anchor it there, to
brighten away those id British steamers?
Picdyune.
A SHARPER SERVED OUr.--A man the
other day got crowd of countrymen
around him near the old market, and at
tempted to ''surprise the natives" by few
sleights OF hand. After accomplishing
feat or two and winning some bets. he told
one of the spectators, Il tall raw looking
fellow, that he could turn ninepence into
Il dollar, il he could b. furnished with one.
The spectator out with his leather pouch,
and handed the exhibitor nlnepcnce,
which the latter readily. apparently, con-
vertcd into a silver dolar-hand:n it 10
the spectator TO examine. The country
man, on receiving the dollar, took off his
hat and made low bow TO the exhibitor.
exclaiming. "Wcli, I'll be darned if you
ha'nt;" and then putting the dollar into the
pouch from which he had taken the nine
pence, he added, .'but you a'int going TO
turn it back into nincpence no how
Proc. Chron.
The Falls of Niagdra..-Dr. Lyell in
letter on Niagara Falls, says that there
is certain geological proof that they have
receded three miles and probably seven;
tina, they rcccdc on an average yard per-
annum. If the longest distance may be
considered correct, it is now 5000 years
since the retroccssion commenced. This
circumstances affords an extraordinary
proof that the earth in its present organlza-
ton las not existed longer than is represen-
ted bv the sacred record, the labored argu-
ments of certain over wise biologists to
the contrary Notwithstanding.
SENSIBLE ExTRACT.-Many man sees
the poor starving around him without
sigh; and when the day Of his departure
draws near, gives his whole Substance 10
some foreign charity, which, TO say the
best Of it, is calculated only 20 lay the loun-
daiion for knowledge among bloody, big
oted, and unthanklul race. Give us the
living, every day charity; that which spring
eth from the well of tbs soul, and not that
mean, miserable, deferred charity, which
comes from the chamber Of death in weeds
OF mourning, and causes the heir TO curse
the parent ere he is laid in his narrow
chamber forever
GEN JACKSON TRE 81 ,000.-The Ju-
dietary Committee of the L. S. Senate
have reported against retunding to the De-
fender Of New Orleans the 81 200 fine
imposed on him by Judge Hall.
The Washington correspondent, Of the
New York Express says an Agent will
leave for England in n few days 10 ncgo-