The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1842-04-23
A food Story.

1t is well said by -lhe ihiladelp hia
North American, that we may as well
laugh as cry III this world. As last week
was IA sad one, let this be more cheerful
The following quizzical story was told
at temperance meeting i'll Hartford, by
reformed drunkard. hopens rich, and as
the man has become sober; one may now
laugh over his absurdilles " it'll double rel
ish.- Rah Clip.
He SAID: used to drink, ard my wife
used to jaw NE aboul ii. What do you
get drunk Ior? said she; what do you jaw
me lor2 said !. SO We agreed, and mad,
fl m bargain that would nel drink and she
would not scoId. For three long days
We held on trm-no drinking nor scold-
ing, but on the third evening being in
company with some good fellows. | took
ID horn, and hen il was down right of
wanted another; and in a very short time
! found myself about "how for vou.7
wl,h twenty horns safe and snugy under
my bread basket. tremendous laugh
ter.) BY and by ii got 10 be time 10 g"
home; but, as you may well suppose.
dreaded 10 meet any wife like The tooth
ache. fLaughler.) However, go must;
end so, staggered alovg, hoping to find
.oy wsie Gbed. (Laugher.J " hen lrfa-
ched the house, | I, und ii still lighted.
and through The window saw my wife
up and waIJng for me. (Laughlrr.)-
Thinks |, | cant go i'll yet. but must
vail I'LL she goes To bed; SO there ! stood
half freezing in lhe cold rain two hours.
emendous laughler.) AT last she went
to bed, amd | crept IN the back door, STUN
bling over pals and chairs, but finally
succeeded III getting to bed without dis
luGbng her; (Iaughler;) but alter DOING
awhile, ! aWoke aud found myselta as dry
as a fish. Laughler.)
You know, b!ethren, how dry we all
used to be III The night alter we'd had a
spree. Crremeudous laughter.) My wife
always knew what was the matter it'll
ne " hen got up in the night to drink
cold wafer. (LaIghlcr) hardly dared
10 get up, for lear Of my wife; but my
thirst was greater than could bear;
lIaugh rer:) so out crawled, and gropcd
very softly alter The water pail, (IaugI,er;)
but no water was llleIe. (Laugh,er.) !
then felt round i'll the dark, on The table
and shelves, for something to cool my
burning thirst. Tremendous Laughter
Soon found a tin pan full Of liquid
something; | seized ii and put it to my
mouth, and took long hearty draughl-
'he liquor at the same Time running out at
each side Of my mouth, down my checks.
tremendous laugher) ] thought the
liquor tasted odd, and at that instant il
flashed on my reco!Iect"n tina, la fixed
some poison few DAYS before to. kill
rats with. tremendous laughter for five
minulcs-) Horror struck | stood-my
hair standing on end-il was death 10
>cleam OUT, Tor my wife would jaw me if
she Aaked-! laughter and stamping -
and sul,ly il would be death TO hold sill;
but scream must. and scream did
[rlotous laughter What was in thai
pan2" ~ ou are dry-arey ou?'' said she.
what was in this pan?' shouted |, still
louder. "Whal makes you dry?" scream
ed she. "N hat wa in this Pan?" yelled
|, in perfect agony Of fear. "Wha pan?"
"Why, The pan on the shelf!'' "Ot, Won
brute! you have drank up all my sIarch!"
tremendous Laughter for five minutes.
and cries of 'Or,lern' from the chairman
The next morning my shirt collar was pas
led fast to my neck and cheeks, and it
took half an hour to clear it of.