Litchfield enquirer., 1842-02-03
From the Metropolitan. Deaf Unele Jefery 3r ths Little Old Maid.
BY ABBOTT LEE.


 Never was such commotion known in the annals "fdomestic moppery and broom cry and scrubbery and dustery. All good housewives know how to turn house up- side down, and the dwelling into which we are about to introduce our readers was just in this agreeable predicament. The cur- tains were down and the carpets were up: the fires were out and the sweeps were in the floors were wet and the cisterns were dry; every thing was out of its place in the endeavOr to put every thing into it and the whole household was in disorder while be- ing put in order; and all because au old uncle was coming.
 All the little and the great Pokenhams were mustered, and marshalled, and drill led. Mrs. P"kenham took upon herself the office of drill sergeant.
 Now girls, no quarrelling, no contradic- ting. no hufing, nn scowIing, no scnffling your old uncle's coming. Now, boys, no fighting, no frelicking, ,and game making -mind and put tl'e best side out, and be- have decenlly y-y"ur old unrle's coming.- And now where's Fanny Carr? She is always out of tie way when she ought to be in il, and in it when she ought to be out of it. Can't any of you Gud Fanny Carr7 l want to give her some hints and orders, because my old uncle's coming"
 A little, plain, under-sized old maid, somewhere about four feet four iuches and half in height, about six stones six pounds six ounces in weight, and complexion something between saffron and stone-b blue, and dressed tn garb of forgotten date, was presently p"ked out of a corner by the young Pokenhams.
 "Fanny Carr," said Mrs. Pokenl,an,, " have you done those few trifling things that l desired :? Have you seen fresh lin. en put upon the best bed P
 Yes, ma am."
 "And have you cured the chimney board from rauling P
 "Yes, ma'Am.''
 " And tine windows from shaking2"
 Yes, ma 'am."
 |" And did you see that the boot jack and the slippers were placed ready to his feet?'
 'Yes, ma'am.'
 And Mir. PokcnIam's last new dress ing gown to his hands r
 'Yes, ma n'am.'
 And did you see that the coffee was properly clcaredl'
 Yes, na'am.'
 And, ,he chicken and bottle of wine all ready to be brought "p!
 'Yes, ma'an,.'
 'Yo" know my..uncle's coming1'
 Yes, ma'am.'
 Has any body told any body that my uncle's comingl' asked Mrs. Pokenhan,.
 Not soul ofusn exclaimed Omnes.
 'That's right. Why, if it were once known, we should have all the whole world and his wife here in less than no lime. The Scudamores would be racke,ing and Golicking here, and Christopher and Kate mincing, aud carney ing, and blarneying, and they'd try with witness, 10 get n,y old uncle from me-
 They'd get a troublesome customer said Miss Pokenl'am the first.
 Yes, but one that ! hope will pay well. Now, girls, if you dare to show any of your quizzings, and huffings, and black locks, you'll spoil all, and we shall lose all my old unclc'S share in the Bank of Eng land. As for you. Jane, if you fall into that old trick you have got of turning up your nose at every body-and you, Mar garct, of curling up your lip a, every thing and you. boys, of badgering, and batter ing, and worrying, why, we shall just be throwing away all uncle Jef's Bank-stock and landed estates; and we may as we'll have them, for we have as much right to ihenl ~s any body elsc.'
 I wish you may get ,hem,' said Master Daniel.
 Most rare Daniel!' said Master Ilumph- rey; l wish I may
 Thanks to the little sister of the primi- tive old maids Fanny Carr, every thing was at length in perfect readiness Ihe carpets were all down, and the curtains were ali up; the floors were dry, and the fires were lit the covers were stripped from the best chairs, the sofa wheeled to the brst place, the fire was blazing tn ali Ihe beauty of c"ncavity, convtxiiy, and conlicuiiy, and every face arranged so as to look delighted at the arrival of lircsome, troublesome, cross, snappsh old uncle JeG. There came a sound of very brilliant blowing of horns every body strained their eyes; the Royal Blue flew past in grand style, the horses pIancing ,and caperimg, and the guard mak- ing melody with b"gle horn; On it whirl- ed and whirled, never stopping for any body, and of course no uncle Jeff could be there. And so two tedious hours were spent in fdgetings and guessings and then the slow coach was heard coming lumber ing and trailing along, and it stopped at the steps of the respectable house where had III nSA