Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1841-04-06


I've told you over and over again, that
nobody never shall no any thing about il,
and YOUR wife knows | amt leekg' -
My wife! wouldn't have her know
nothing about it for the worIi-why Aunt
Lizzv. if she shonld know t.
Well, don't be afraid, Squire, once for
all, I'll take my bible oath that no living
critter, shan't never as long as live know
a lisp OMIT
We'll, then, if you must know i'll
sleptwlth one Of the lkeliest ofyour church
members nearly half way up! =
'Aunt Lizzy drew in 4 long breath
shut up her snuff box and put II into her
pocket, muttering 10 herself
The likcliest Of our cnurch members,
| thought it was Susan B., Ikclicst! this
comes of being ha:tered-a trollop. Well
one thing know-the way oftrangressors
is hard; but hope you'll never tell nobo-
dy ont Squire, for sartn as it should be
known, our chuch would be scattered about
like sheep, without a shopherd.'
In few moments, Aunt Lizzy took her
departure, giving the Squire another eau
lion and sly WAX; as she said good bye
let me alone for a secret
.It7was not many days balorelSquire p.
received a very polite note from Parson
e., requesting him to attend meeting Of
the church, and Of the parish at the south
conference room, in order to settle some
difficulties with ONE Of the church members
who in order to clear up her character, re-
quested him to be present.
The Parson who was very worthy man
knew the frailty of some of the weaker sis
tiers, as Aunt Lizzy called them, and as be
was a particular friend of Squire P's, re-
quested him to say nothing of ii TO his wife
but the squire took the hint, and telling his
wife there was parish meeting, requested
her TO be ready by two o'clock, and be
would call Cor her.
Accordingly the hour Of meeting came
the whole village focked to the room,
eyes were alternately on the Squire and
Susan B. Mrs. p startled, and Susey
looked rs though she had been crying for
a fortnight. The parson, with softened
tone, and in rs delicate manner as pos
sible, started the story about Susan b.,
which he observed was in every body's
mouth, and which he did not himself be-
levc word of-and Squire p. being called
on to stand as witness-after painting in
lively colors the evils Of SANDER with
which their village had become infested,
and particularly the church. called on
Amt Lizzy in the presence of the whole
meeting, and before the church 10 come
out 10 make acknowledgements for viola
ting a bible OATH Aunt Lizzy's excuse
was that she only told Deacon SIS wife
on't--and she took an oath that she would
never tell nobody else ont. Deacon SIS
had, it appears, sworn Rogers sister
never to tell nobody of the matter, but ii
wcnl Through the " hole church, and thence
through the whole village.
The Squire then acknowledged before
the whole meeting that he had as he told
Aunt Lizzy,. slept with church member
half the way to Boston, and that he be-
leved her to be the likeiest Of their mem
bers masmuch as she would never hear or
retail SANDER. All eyes were now alter
nateIy on Susey b. and Squire P's wife.
Aunt LizZy enjoyed q diabolcal triumph,
which the Squire no sooner perceived than
he finished the sentence by declaring that
the member to whom b. alluded was his
own lartM rife.
"Aunt Lizzy drew in her head under
huge bonnet, as a turtle does under his
shell, and marched away into one corner
Of the room, like dog that had been kill
ing sheep. The squire as usual, burst in
to fit of laughter, from which his wife,
Susan B. and even the Parson could not
refrain from joining--and Parson g., af
forwards acknowledged that Squire p. had
had given death blow to scandal in the
village which all his preaching could not
have done.