Boon's Lick times. [volume] (Fayette, Mo.) 1840-1848, 1841-04-24
SCANDAL.
Snow let it work Mischief, thou art sfoot,
Take what course thou wilt"

SHOW let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot,
Take what course thou wilt
The substance OF the following is no felton,
In neighboring village, whose inhabitants, like
the good people OF Athens, were much given 10
''ether tell or hear something new" lived Squire
p, acetous, good natured sort Of body,
whose Jokes are even yet a matter Of village re-
cord, and have been retod through various edi.
tons, from lolio down 10 duodecimo.
Aunt Lizzy was Deacon Snpe's wfe's sister
"a maiden lady of about fi(ty--she went to all
the meetings-kept regular account Of every
birth, death and marriage, with their dates--doc-
tored all the babies, and knew every yard in the
| ghborhood--showed all the young married wo-
men how TO make soap, and when they had bad
luck, made every child in the house set cross leg
ged until the luck changed In fine, she was
kind of village lactotum-spent her time in 60
ing from house to house, grinding oct grist Of
SANDER TO each, as occasion required but always
concluded with, "the way of transgressors is
hard;' "poor Mrs A. or B. Gas the case was)
pity her from the bottom OF my heart" or some
such very soothing reflection. Aunt Lzzy was
very fond Of asking strangers and others, without
regard 10 time or place, "the state Of their minds
how they enjoyed their minds" &c. These ques-
tons were followed by string of scandal, which
was calculated to destroy The peace and happi-
ness of some Of her best neighbors and friends,
but she, like other narraors Of this kind, consld-
cred such intellectual murder as either establish
ing her own fair reputation, the only mode
OF entertaining the village, ard thereby rendering
her society agreeable.
One warm summers afternoon, as the Squire
was sitting near the Office door, smoking his pipe,
aunt Lzzy was passing by with great speed, ru-
minating on the news Of the day, when the squire
brought her suddenly to, as the sailors say, by
whats your hurry aunt Lizzy? walk in" The
j old lady, who never wanted a second invitation,
went into the Office, and the following dialogue
soon commenced: ~
"Well Squire P, have been thinking This
forenoon what useful man you might be if you'd
only leave off your light conversations, the good
book says and become serious man-you might
be an ornament to both church and state, as our
minister says"
Why, as TO that, aunt Lizzy, cheerful coun.
tenance consider as the best index OF grateful
heart, and you know what the Bible says on that
subect--When ye fast, be not as hypocrites, of
sad countenance; but annoint thy head and
wash thy face, (aunt Lizzy began to feel for her
pocket handkerchief, for she was taker of snuff, J
that thou appear not unto men TO FAST"
"Now, there squire-that's just what told you
see how you have the scripter at your tongues
end; what useful man you might be in our
church, if you'd only be doer as we'll as a hear
er Of the word"
GAS to that aunt Lizzy, don't see that you
professors" as you call them, are whit better
than | am, in private. | respect sincere pro.
fesslon as much as any man; but know enough
of one Of your church, whom you think a good
of III Ok /.
: should be-"
At these nuondoes, aunt Lizzy's little black
eyes began 10 twinkle; she sat do .n beside the
! squire in order to speak in lower tone-spread
her handkerchief over her lap. and began to tap
the cover OF her snuff box in true style. and all
things being in readiness for regular siege of
"scandalum magnatum," she commenced fire
''Now squire want TO know who you mean by
one Of our church? | know who you mean--the
trollop-l didn't like so many curs about her
head, when she told her experience"
The squire finding curiosity was putting his
boots on, had no occasion to add spurs TO the
heels, for the old lady had one in her head that
was worth both Of them. Accordingly he had no
peace until he consented to explain what he meant.
by the expression sin private" this was dear
word with aunt Lizzy.
J "Now, aunt Lizzy, will you take Bible oath,
: that you will never communicate what am about
to tell you to living soul, and that you will
keep it while you live most inviolable Sc
cret?"
"Yes, squire, declare won't never tell no.
body nothing about it as long as breathe the
breath of life; and I'll take Bible oath on il;
there, sartin live, squire, before you or any
other magistrate in the whole country"
swell, then, you know when wentup to Bos
ton year ago"
eyes, yes, squire, and know who went with
: you too-Susey B. and belly T. and her sister
$ Prudence"
> "NeVer mind who went with me, aunt Lizzy;
there was whole lot oil passengers-But, but"
"None OF your butts, squire-out with It'll
: folks will act so-a trelop"-
a "But, aunt Lizzy Ina afraid you'll bring me
into the scrape"--
= '1ve told you over and over again. that no
I body never shall know nothing about il, and your
!. wife knows amt leaky"--
MY wlfe would ant have her to know what
: was going 10 tell you for the world-why, aunt
Lizzy. if she should know it."
SWELL don't be afraid, squire, once for ALL III
Y take my oath that no living crttur shant never
as long as live, know lisp ont
''Well then, il you must know til slept with
one Of the likelies Of your church members near.
4 ly hall the way up!!!"
u Aunt Lizzy dew a long breath-shut up her
i snuff box and put it in her pocket, muttering to
u herself k
r The likeliest Of our church members
J, thought it was Susey B.-likeliest-...ths comes
|, Of being fattered--.a trollop. Well one thing
know, the way oil transgressors is hard; but hope