Democratic standard. [volume] (Georgetown, Brown County, Ohio) 1837-1850, 1841-10-12
TRIALS OF A HoUsEKEEPER.
BY MISS BEECHER.

Ihave tale of homely grievances to
present, but such as they are, many a
heart will feel them too heavy-the trials
of a housekeeper!
"Poh!" says one of the lords Of the
creation taking his cigar out of his mouth
and twirling it between his fingers, "what
a fuss these women do make Of this
simple matter of managing a family! |
can't see for my life, as there is any
thing SO extraordinary to be done inthis
matter Of house-keeping-only three
meals day to be got and cleared off,
and it really seems to take up the whole
time Of their minds from morning till
night. I could keep house without such
a furry, know"
Now, prithee, good brother, listen 10
my story, aud see how much you know
about it. came to this enlightened
west about year since, and was duly es-
fablished in a comfortable country resi-
dence within a mile and half OF the city,
and there commenced the enjoyment
of domestic felicity. had been married
about three months, and had been previ-
ously in love in the most approved and
romantic way, with all the proprleties OF
moonlight walks, serenades, sentimental
billet,doux, and everlasting attachmeHt
After having been allowed, as Said' a.
bout three months to get over this sort
Of things, and to prepare for realities |
was located for life, as aforesaid. My
family consisted Of myself and husband,
a female friend as visitor, and tive
brothers ofmy good man, who were en-
gagged with him in business.
pass over the two or three fret days
spent in that process of hammering box
es, breaking crockery, knocking things
down and picking than up again, which
is commonly called getting to house.
keeping AS usual, carpets were sow
ing and stretching, laid down and taken
up to be sewed Over-things were re-
formed, transformed, and conlormed, till
at last order began TO appear. But now
came up the great point of all, During
our confusion we had cooked and eaten
our meals in very miscellaneous and
pastoral manner, eating now from the top
off barrel, and now from a fire-board
laid on two chairs; and drinking, some
from teacups and some from saucers, and
some fiom tumblers, and some from a
pitcher, large enough to be drowned in;
and sleeping, some on sofas, and some
on struggling beds and matrasscs, thrown
down here and there, wherever there
was room. All these pleasant barbara |
ties were now at an end; the house was
in order-the dishes Put in their places
three regular meals were to be admins
tered in one day, all in an orderly, civil
jzed form-beds to be made; rooms
swept and dusred; dishes washed; knives
secured, and all the ct cetera to be at
tended to. Now for getting "help" as
Mrs. Trollope says, and where, and how
are we to get ilg We knew very few per-
sons in the city, and how we're we to ac-
cOmplish the matter3 At length the
''house of employment" was mentioned,
and my husband was despatched thither
regularly every day for a week, while |,
in the meantime, was very nearly des-
patched by the abundance Of work at
home.
AT length, one evening, as was sit
ling completely exhausted, thinking OF
resorting to the last feminine expedlent
for supporting life, viz: coed fit of cry
ing, my husband made his appearance
with triumphant ar-'There Margaret!
i have couple at last; cook and
chambermaid!"-so saying he flourished
open the door, and gave view to the pic
ture Of a little, dry, snutfy looking old
woman, and great staring Dutch girl,
in green bonnet and red ribbon mouth
wide open, and haIds and feet that
would have made Greek sculptor open
his mouth too. | addressed forthwith
few words Of encouragement to each Of
this cultivated looking couple, and pro-
cesded TO ask their names, and forthwith
the old wOman began TO snufla and wipe
her face with what was left of an old silk
pocket handkerchief, preparatory TO
speaking, while the young lady opened
her mouth wider, and looked around with