Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1841-08-12
MODERN REFINEMENTs.
BY AN rNoLlsnmAN
Court Of Requesis-South,curk.

/ -
Court Of Requests
The Secrets of Perfumery.--Wiiliam Jen
kins, perfumer and barber-general, residin
IN the Kent road, was summoned by Tboma
Hine. who described himself as a sort Z
wholesale .pcrIumers' and BARRIERS drugcis,
tommy Hine reloiced In a round bnll-head
short neck, broad shoulders, and thick legs
In short regular tramping man Of bushes
was the plaintiff. The defendant, William
Jenkins, was like the fop who excited til,
and even like the veritable dandy of byuone
ages, "between his finger and his thumb he
held pouncet box" to which, we may add
ever and anon lie duly smclled. On the
name being called, Tommy Hine stepped for.
ward, and plunging in medias res, thus deliv.
cred himself
i shouldn't summoned this here warabone.
II so be he'd behaved as he ort; but he's
nuifin but wagabone; and SO ! means to
blow on him. (Laughter.)
William Jenkins (smelling to his pouncet
box y MIR. Chairman-aw--I-aw- claim
protection of the court.
Tommy Hine-Oh don't be afeared. You
knows very well you owes me three pun te,,
IS 1857 and SO as you have give me all
this ere trouble, why, as natural conse-
qnence' blows on you. (Immense laugh
ter.)
A commissioncr-Pray sir, wha. are YOU
driving ata
Show you In minute, said Tommy, hitch
| ing up his trousers. You little knows the se-
cret ofge'tng up scents and perfumefy.--
When you grcaZes your hair you little knsws
what you're doin on it with; for instance
now, what dye think the Maccassar hils
(oil) is made ona
Commissioner-Pray proceed, sir.
Tommy Hine--Why, benny thing in mater
as Is grea2y. Old thick muddy bottoms of
lille tubs, billed up with ingons (onions) or
garlic, jest to take off the stink; and then
when it's billed enough while it's hot, thew
shuves In some lille of roses, scraped carrot,
and alkane root, and that turns out beautiful
Maccassar. Considerable laughter.)
Commissioner-Indee And is tia. the
way our modern bellies and beauxs perfume
themselves?
1t IS. y lord; and there's sope Of her Ma
Jesty s subjects as vents to git the hair oil
such as old maids as 1its besrds and mus
tachies, and fnnikey young gentlemen as
wants to make themselveslook younger than
they is. (Laughter.)
Commissioner-How is this managed,
Mr.. Hine?
my'.~.-. u;-~., Nh .hu arsenic and starch,
planned by gentleman present that the
strongest depilatorics were formed by quick
lime, sesqui-sulphureto of arsenic, orris root,
powder and starch, live sarved (served)
this man Continued Tommy Hine) with all
these yeer things up TO the amount claims,
but now means to Spite his trade. i sees
as how your hair is rather sandy-( laughter
now what will you stand if shows you
how to git it black--regular jet black
(Laughter) "Orfila's Hair Dye" makes
myseli--pumbi Of line, sulphate Of lead
and Stacked lime. This yeer mixture ID turr
your VERY Wig black in less than the time
chap hangs at the Old Bailey. (Roars o
langhter.) Then, sir, there's Cream for tn,
Flair. This yeer's shin o'-beef marrow, al
mond lie (oii,) and bergamot. Uaughter.)
Mr.. William JenkiDs-Sir, I'm ready +
| pay this paltry demand f.
Tommy Hine-No, i amt done exposin:
yet. Geneuine (genune) bears grease, Mr.
Commissioners, is made from the fat Of al
the suffocated pigs as comes over from Ire
| land, and other soft fat as won't reguIarl,
run into lie such as the NERDS (inW ards
OF suckin pigs as died in their infancy
young calves as can't git on in the world
and makes their wills afore they reaches
Smifie'l (Smithfeld.) To cut it short, AM
thing makes bears grease as long as il
scented up: and it's my opinion, sir, tina
mater never intended nobody to have nothing
| to do with
| Mr.. William Jenkins with considerable
fidgeity warmth)-Sir, there's the money
and I'll take care you don't serve me, or any
body else, in !uture.-(L aughter.)
Tommy Hine-Don't alarm YOURSELF
My conscience's pricked, and am satisfied
: People as uses perfumes, don't know VIVA
they are doing: and, as say again, nate
| never intended nobody tn nee such n, AT
messes; it's only initiating the savages q
daubs their hides with train lille, (oil,) an
chalks their noses and runs skivers throug
'en, same as our vimmen runs rings in the
I, ears. O.aughter.) Mr.. Commissioner,
accepts the money, as he offers it, and (bov
ing very politely,) if you like to take al
|, think short, why
The Commissioner respectfully decline
the offer, and Mr.. Thomas Hine mounted Ii
$ golgotha, and left the court.