Daily Richmond Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1840-1842, 1841-05-17
"THE DINING OUT MAN"
From tn. May KuIeke,bOeler.


Following up the hint Of the artist, writer in ,
late English magazine has furnished several extract
from an imaginary diary of this parsonage, which
sufficiently amusing He commences with un
derrating dinners at country houses where there j,
little chance Of personal display with old audi,
ence, always on the watch for the well worn anec.
dotes, like people at pantomime, familiar before
hand with the tricks. Having been checked by hi,
host, when about hitchng in pun-with the re-
mark, "that he had been circulating it ali over the
country, ever since he heard il from his own lips
Ave years before"-our diner-out resolves to visit
the unbroken ground OF Yorkshire, where a fresh
audience of hosptable people, with astrong c,paci-
~ for being amused would better reward his
ertons. But let us take the scene when Parsmen,
has met, and the London season and dinner giving
begins ut the same time. Thus our man OF the
world:
"My first care at the commencement Of the sea
son is to look over my list preparatory to sowing
cards for the dinner-crop, and n melancholy task
Nil Two or three Of my best dowagers are pref
~ sure TO have dropped in the interval as is the
this very year. There Is old Lady FIvccourse,
m Berkeley Square, whose cook was really meri-
torous artist-a fellow who will one day rank with
the Udes aud FTancatelles. l called at the door
the other day, TO inquire what was become OF him;
and find that one of the executors has bribed him
of TO Ireland! This is public loss. Beside which,
the man himself IS lost. Genius Of that description
requires an enlightened audience. The Irish are
scarcely up TO more than roast and boiled. Ii is
throwing pearls before swine to give them such n
ration.
81 confess had looked forward to many more
pleasant dinner parties at Lady Fwecourse's
There was no more occasion Tor that woman TO die
though seventy three, she was strong a Sc
venty -four-(msn. book that D-and might have
lived 10 be hundred. IL entirely her owl do
ing. She could 90 dining out. when with such n
cook as Survilliers, it her duty dine home.
AVID then she called IN young apothecary, instead
OF adhering TO Sir Thomas, who never does any
thing, that his patients have chance of get
ting through. | don't TO be i'll natured; but II
were man Of sufficient consequence for my fune-
raj TO figure in the Morning Post, with list OF the
mourners-"thrd mourning coach, the medical at
tcndant OF the deceased Earl, John PiboS, ESQ.,
would not employ young apothecaiy, who knew
that his connection IN business might be established
by such an advertisement.
Poor Lady Fivecoursel What a capital set
one used to meet at her house! IL was one of the
places where most enjoyed myself Nothing but
quiet humdrum, mediocre people, who understood
nothing but eating, and for whom ones Oldest so-
res had the charm of novelty. ! remember n;
dinner IN Berkeley Square, last April, setting the
BILE IN roar with anecdotc, which originally set
me up rs a dning-out man, IN the time Of George
the Fourth! IL was a story of JekylIs; but he
never did II justice, his imitation of the broSue be-
ing wretched. II improved in my hands. There
are some Stories like some wines, which grow mel
low with travelling told it better than that
day at Lady Frvecourse's, for | was taking pains
Lord Gransehurst was there; and | was wild TO get
an invitation To his new house, with the style and
splendor Of which the newspapers had been boring
one Tor the last year. The spec. prospered. | d.
ned with him three times after Easter, and was
asked TO Gansehurst for the batiue. But, on the
whole, was not satisfied. His cellar is not what
IT ought TO oe No man ought to pretend to Hook
who is not certain that his grandfather saw it in
bottle"
The diner out has now established himself tho
roughly. He has watched the conversational men Of
the day, and studied their very studied mode of be-
ing unstudied in their wit and discovered the most
natural manner of Juggling in mpromptus made at
leisure; and 10y dnt OF following up his VOCATION he
is enabled TO boast that not man in the gasirono-
mlcai metropolis enjoys more intimate cuuain-
lance with the contents Of stew pans smmering in
aristocratlc kitchens, and the sauce boats of the
great world, than himself. Hence he is enabled TO
give advice, Of which indeed he is by no means spa.
ring. Hear him:
"a vulgar minded man, incapable Of Selling the
lights and shadows OF social life thinks il enough to
push on straight TO the mark; and with a predeier.
minatIon TO be entertaining begins 10 open his bud
gut before the soup is off the table: whereas there
Is scarcely more art required in dressing the dinner
than IN addressing those who invited TO eat it,
There are certain appointed epochs of dinner diff
Sering IN different sets and countries appointed for
the specific Introduction Of certain wines-as Sherry
or Madeira after soup, Hook between the Courses
SO, also, there especial moments for the intro
duction OF divers orders of anecdotes. The man
who attempts bit OF scandal while the pates or cut
lets going their rounds, will find his risk reward
ed by reprovng silence. People look If they did
not understand word he was saying: whereas If
lie wait TILL after the second round of champagne he
will set the table in roar. Even the first will so
far thaw the faculties or decorum Of the party that
a significant smile may possibly repay his pains
"Soup admits oil nothing OF more stirring interest
than the weather. People not yet at their ease
They have not recovered the fuss of taking their
places; they have not got accustomed TO their neig
bors or TO the brightness Of the dinner ROOM They
look olinky and perpleKed. The edge Of appetite
too, must he appeased. A few moGthfuls OF hot,
clear spring soup, Lisque deereDissss cheers IN
the spirits, and dsposes TO sociabllty A sip of
Sherry periects the charm. By the time turbot n nd
its lobster sauce, Severn salmon and its cucum.
Der, figure on your plate, you may venture upon
politics aGd the news OF the day. II a clever man
be near you, and you have important intelligence
"a Peito, inquire OF him il he have any thing new;
then, with easy negligence let fall the startling news
that is 10 fix every eye az table upon YOURSELF
Choose that moment to take wine, or 10 whisper
cOnfdentially To the servant behind your chair n
request for second investigation Of the fsh sauces.
should appear to lie anxiousy interested in the
COiTing OF your own appetite, when you announce
the abdcltIon oil the Emperor OF China or that Her
Majesty's favoriIe parrot is sitting. All this, as
stage effect, tends powerfully TO the success Of III.
piece.
Anything superlatiye in the way Of wit .bould
bo reserved, like the hock for the finale Of the first
course. Even IN the best regulated household there
occurs momentnry pause most propitiOus TO the
explosion OF a bon mot. The host is grateful 10
you; the mare dhoti is grateful to you; every body
IS giateiu TO you. minute later, and the hustle
oil placing the second courseOn the table would he
fatal TO the success OF your attempt. That most
disagreeabe interruption at end, the real BUSH
ness Of dinner conversation begins. The tide IL
setting ia. Till the Rubicon of The second course il
passed. your careful talker feels that all is prean
ole. II is not worth while TO hazard anything "a
real excellence. il is waste Of powder and shot TO
lavish pearls before the Tnpuc'ous animals who think
more OF what reaches them through their lips than
though their ears"
But the dinef-out must talk up 10 his reputation
One dull dinner would undo him. "a party,n saws
he. where the sound Of knives and forks is audi
Die from pnuses in the conversation reflects eternal
disgrace on ITS component parts. when regular DO.
ner-out is one Of the offenders In "crnmuingD
from fresh foreign periodicals. fOr "dinner service"
one ~ liable to mishaps:-
Il had received morning a batch Of pnmpb.
lcts from Paris; and, as usual, extracted the pit for
my private use. The gems thus strung together
intended 10 powder over my conversation that
day at one Of Lady COrk's choicest dinner parties:
and had consequently provided myself with moth.
ing eiso. ! entered her famous old china-gallery
ON the divans and slender porcupine chairs Of which
Hound scattered the best and brightest Of the sea
son. "Ali was prepared the judges were met a
terrible show" unluckily J came late, having
been detained running my eye over my notes; so
that when made my snfrss, that pushing fellow
T. had already the ear Of the company. Judge
oi nay horror when ! found him giving tongue 10
one OF my most striking novelties! | longed TO Gy
NJ him, and snatch il from his mouth-as one sees
aharD terrier when auotber do, h,g -.