The Charlotte journal. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1835-1851, 1841-02-04


--laru 'em better Doctor, or they will lead
you iu.o scrapes."
sNEEZING.
We hope we may no, be branded pre-.
sumptuous il in the matter Of sneezlng, we
pretend to be connoisseurs. As proof OF
our taste, we hate one Of your snivelling,
dry, halffrighienedio. death sneezes-but
Tor one Of your foil, clear, sonorous, deton
a,ng, reyerbera,ing, explosions-one of
those reports that sci the vine glasses on
The side. board a jingling and wake pussy
we say for ore Of those earthquake sneezes
We have love inferior only 10 that which
we bear for woman and-our iavorite dog.
A sueeze 10 be in good taste, should crack
like a rifle on a clear morning. recipe
for sneeze of this genus is as iollows:-
When you feel a tickling al the root Of
( your probocls, just jump up, # you be seat
/ ed, ruo TO the window through which the
SUI shines, throw your head back until the
bump Of philnprogenilveness presses on
your coat collar, open your mouth, snarl
like half,slaryed Hyena at piece of fresh
meal, inhae a deep breath, and ihen---blD
away The eiiec, viii be prodigioos--an
echo will salute you from the house top
over the way-ihe good house wives will
order the clothes 10 be taken ln--your game
cock viii cock up the red of his eye at the
scn-and yon will have the hes, assurance
| that you have no: sneezed in vain.
Wo commend you 10 a pinch Of sun
beams, aud away with your machaboy, if
( you would have your sneeze above the vul
gar. Snuff is not the ,hing-a natural way,
icached of BY torch Of sun beams, gives
a report worthy the nose o: Que of great
and free people. Away with your squibs,
which hiss, and your sneezes, which fash
IN The pan, and only burn printing, and give
US salute which shakes the head TO its
foundation. Why, our dog aforesaid, has
been taught TO do a sneeze up in more
manly way than that. He does not, like
other dogs, grin aud jerk bis head like a
whip lash, and sneeZe as If IL were only
some Of the ver,ebrg Of his neck which were
cracking, but be points his snout towards
the sun, and breaks forth into m uuerance
which is only surpassed by the melody Of
bis own anrivaIled bark, or the thunder OF
his indispensable growl.
We knew 40 old gentleman once, who
was most famous sneezer--in fac, his
nose was just the thing TO initiate the -four
iah oil trumpet with, or, what sc like bet.
ter, 10 utter, sneeze, which like Napo
Icons generaishlp, was without parallel.
Anthony Van Corlear might beat him at
regular martial tune, whose inspiring tones
heartened the Dlich burgheFs in the hour
oil battle, but the lexibity of Anihony's
would never have admitted of the supeTla
i've rush Of thUsder FOR which our friends
nose was remarkable. One such report as
we have heard him utter, would have scat.
tered common nose in lacerated fragments
over an acre of ground. His nose, when
viewed IN front resembled a Macedonian
pbalanx, II was a solid column, bold and
utterly impregnabe, and his sneeze, as
counsellor Philips said Of Buonaparte, was
without shadow" Well, our friend
was an early riser, and every moru,ug Jus,
as the ROSTERS were Growing away their
Dragging orlsons, be would open the back
door aud inhale lule fresh air. Planted
firmly 10 the doorway, he would grasp bold
OF each side, raise his nose towards the
zenith, aud fire away. IL was the morning
gun for the neighborhood and its deep
echoes used to sound merriiy through The
streets, falling or the ear less distinct, uu.
II they were finally gone too far Off to
hear II was the signal for the good folks
round about to ge. up by and when they
heard II, they would scratch open their
eyes and start from their recumbent pos
lures TO begin the business Of The day
When our old friend died, the neighborhood
got into he bad habit Of oyerslerpins it.
self and from the briskest, il became the
,Zest in iown--alas the sneezer and his
sneeze we're hushed. Cincinnati Mirror.
A Woman's Advantages. woman
may say what she likes to you, without run