Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1841-06-24
From the 81. Louis Bulletin.


10 be trun--bordeiing somewhat upon
fiction, or at leust, our account Of II II
h,llc exaggerated; but we assure you the
whulo affair actually occurred on steam
bout. We will call no names, but will
give the boat the title of"Tobacco PlaAp"
for The occasion.
. Ii is known 10 those who "have trav-
eEed" tha. generally there arc persons
travelling on board steamboat, who may
be termed "green," and although ut
home they appear 10 possess good COM
mon sense, yet when they 20 aboard .
steamboat, there ore 50 many strange
sights, curious machinery, &c. they up
pear to be so much out Of their element
that 60 those on board who are daily
accustomed to every thing pertaining 10
"a boat they make themselves really
foolish aud troublesome. They are gen
eraily very mgulsitive-ask ten thousand
questions, and become extremely annoy.
ing, especially io the officers Of the boat,
and sometimes the s,ranges, kind OF an
swers are given to The different questions
propounded, as the following scene will
show:
\ The steamer Tobacco Plant was on
her downward passage on tho Missouri
river. She landed al one Of the towns,
where several passengers came on board,
among them stout athletic man, who
observed US as he came on board:
\ 'Wal, I've got on tn one er these
swimming aegators al last, I've hearn
tell a good deal about these critters, and
semen running, but this is the irs, ono
| ever travelled on"
This speech and the manner it was
spoken created little curiosity among
The crew and passengers, and every ons
appeared anxious TO explain TO him the
different curiosIiies Of the boat. AT last
the customer thought he would like 10
command boat-yes, he believed ho
would "makc IA firrt rate captain" and
some miSchieyous wag told i,m that tbs
Cierh was anxious 10 employ a comman-
der, the one then commanding no; suit
ing. u pom this intelligence The strap
ger forthwith accostod the Clerk:
"l'm told you want a Captain, sir, and
as / have nothing periclar TO do, ] rec
kon I'D as soon bo Captain as any thing
else. !"
The Clerk, rerceising the game, fol.
lowed suit and answered as follows:
I eyes sir, | want a Captain. J am r.
bout to discharge the one | now have
he don't suit me; and il you and can
agree, as you have applied before any
body else, you shall have the situation--"
first come first served"
! "W al now" said the stranger, "I'm
not much acquainted with a steamboat,
but take me on land and am Mar--Pve
seen good deal Of the world-have
been TO Kentucky several times, and
once to New Orleans, but | always went
by land. Eut suppose being Captain
is like every thing else-requiies brav-
cry attention, and a good understanding
Of human naiu. Now, l've seen good
deal Of the world and Of men-l driy
stage wunst and was a long time over
seer on Col. Whcaton's plantation, but
Mr.. Clerk, you must tell me q little a
bout what Captain has tn du, ] want to
know my duties thoroughly fore ! cum
mence, you know"
"Yes, said the clerk, you must pn-
derstand your duties we'll. The first
thing n Cap,ain-,hat is my captain
must do, is in the morning 10 see that the
beds are well made, the berths well
swept, and then call the roll Of all tho
stewards, deck hands and servants, in
orderto see if any have been killed, or
thrown overheard during the night, or IL
any are sick. Then hs mYst consult
me about breakfast and dinner--that Is,
If am up and shaved-and If We have
chickens or turkies in the coob, 10 count
them and see that they are well fed, and
see that every man on board does his
duty, and never, when in port, allow tho
leaving a lock OF her hair, which must
be deposited IN the iron safe"
The stranger listened Ia this yarn with
the greatest attention, believing II all
gospel truth, aud promised most sacredIy
strictly to comply with the 'Dles.
1t was mol long before all on bonrd,
officers, passengers and deck hands,
were in The secret, and all played web
their parts. Every hour the poor would
be Captain grew more impatient 10 take
command aud if he saw the captain of
the boat idle, ordering what appeared to
him n little out Of the way, he was sure
t. report the same To the clerk, and urge
his immediate discharge. Tho clerk
would apparently get in ogres rnge,
curse the negligent cap,nin, and threstcp
To discharge him the moment be arrived
III 81. Louis
"Why, Mr.. Clerk" said The stranger,
81 seen that lazy, good-for-noihiD cop
taln o( yUlr'n, s'ltIng up thor oD The roJ
of The boat, laugbIn and talking with
that tother man IN the glass box, isyn'D
wheel, and when told him that hm
time was short and if he didn't look sharp
he'd run on Iog, and the boat would
be tipped over--he told me 10 90 "to We
devil"
"lie didt" said the clerk. "WcIl, If
that's the way he conducts hins.H--G
,hBl's the way he ins,.Ls his is-to- be-sue-
cessur aud II that's the way he neg leeis
h. duty, zounds. III have ban put ashore
Instantly the acoundrsl.
Soon alter this the boa, 'rounded to- for
wood, & ~ usual the captain went ashore