Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1841-04-29
From the Ladies' Companion for April.
The BACHELOR RECLAIMED.
A SKETCH FROM REAL LIFE.
ny ~. 7. TUcRERMAN.


"You are determined not to mnrry'"
"Absolutely."
card whyW
''In the first place, ] never expect to
be able TO support wife according TO
my ideas Of comfort. In the second
place, have no hope Of teting n wo-
man who will sympathize sufficiently
with my feelings and views, TO be a con-
genial companion. Thirdly, l cannot
bear the idea of adopting as constant
associates the relations Of her ] mny
love aud lourtbly, consider house,
keeping, and all the details Of domestic
arrangements, the greatest bore in ex-
istence"
/ This colloquy took place between two
young men, in the garden Of one Of the
fashionable hotels at Saratoga. II was
n suliry afternoon, and they had retired
under the shade Of an apple tree To
digest their dinner, which process they
were facilitating by occasionally pui-
fling some very mild, light brown
Havannas. The last remarks were
uttered in very calm and positive tone
by McNril, a philosophical aud quiet
gentleman, who had n most senshla
theory for every thing in life. Among
other things, he took great pleasure IN
The conviction that he thoroughly under
siood himself The first tine his inter
est was excited by n member Of the
geniler sex, he had acted in most ex-
travagant manner, and barely cscaprd
with honor from forming a most inludi-
cIous connection. Toguard against siini-
lar mishaps, he had adopted very ingc-
NOUS plan. Being uncommonly suscep.
tIblc Of female attractions, he made II u
rule when charmed by a sweet face, or
thrilled by a winning voice, TO seek for
some personal defect or weakness Of
character, IN the fair creature, and OBJ
stinaiely dwell upon these defects until
they cast shade over the redcc,ning
traits, and dissolved tho spell he feared.
When this course failed, he had but one
resource. With falsian, he thought
discretion the better part Of valor, and
deliberately fled from the alluremenis
that threatened his peace. Thus he
managed not to allow love 10 take per-
manent possession, and, after varions
false alarms and exciting yIgils, cone Ia
the conclusion that NO long seige or sud-
der attack would ever subJue the citadel
Of his affections
But Mcneil had no braced himself in
Il spirit Of resistance, that he had made
no provision against the unconscious
lures Of beauty. lie could chatter for
hours with n celebrated L.He, and leave
. s; ba IL,
the captivating manners which over
came his fellows. Regarding society
as a battle field, he went thithcr armed
at all points, resolved 10 maintain self
pos. ession, and be on tho watch against
The wiles of women. lie had seen love-
Iy girls in the drawing room, followed
their graceful movements in the dance,
heard them breathe songs of sentiment
at the piano, and walked beside then,
on the promenade. On these occasions,
he cooIly formed an estimate Of their
several graces, perfectly appreciated
every finely y-chiselled nose and iemping
lip, noted with care the hue aud express
sion of the eye, but walked away at
parting, murmuring TO himself, "all this
| see, yet am not in love-"
! But who can anticipate the weapon
that shall lay him low, or make adequate
pro,isio against the incxhaustible re-
sources Of love' Mcneil had sat fnr
week at table, opposite an invalid widow
and her daughter. lie had passed them
potatoes not less than dozen iimc., aud
helped the young lady twice TO cherry
pie. The only impression he had do
rived from their demeanor and appear
ance, was, that they were very genteel
and quiet. On the morning after his
conversation in the garden, he awake
Just before sunrise, and found himself
lying with his face TO the wall, ia one Of
the diminnlivc chambers in which visi-
tors nj the Springs are so uDceremoni-
ouslv packed. His eyes opened within
six inches of the plaster aud he anus
ed himself for some minutes, in c'njur-
ing the cracks and veins it displayed,
into imaginary forms Of warriors aud
animals Al length his mind reverted
10 hlmscIl, and his present quariers.--
"Well, have been here Just a fort
night" thus he nused, "and Pretty
dull time I've had of it, Day after dny,
the same stupid routine. In the morn.
ing ! swallow six glasses Of Congress
water ut the spring, with the hollow
eyes Of that sick minister from Connect
cut, glaring on me like serpent, and
the de-sway tone Of that nervous lady
from Philadelphia, sounding like hnsl
in my ears. cannot dunk ~ peace for
those everlasting Misses Hid, who oil
three chatter ai once and expect me To
he entertaining and laxative so early in
the morning, with my stomach Mli "f
cold liquid, and n long dull day IN GER
spcciiyr then comes breakfast. The
rlatrer Of plates, the mrmur Of voices,
the rushing of black wancrs, the variety
of slenms, make mo glad 10 rsirest. !
find u still corner of The p'',Sza, mud be-
gin to read hot the flies, dranght cf
air, or the intrusive gabble Of my se-
quo,nlnnces, utterly prevent me from he
coming absorbed in n book II has nov
become TOO warm TO walk, and ! look ~
vain for DR.. Clayton, who Is tho only
,,,u., hoK. hnaa e,uvefatttpu tuleT