Southern Argus. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1834-1842, 1841-04-07

must now pass over some years; and, as
trust, you are prepared to enter into the spirit
OF the subsequent events, will briefly sum up
the peculiar circumstances under which was
paced at that dreadful period which at once
converted the visionary fears of my youth into
the guilt and remorse which have since thrown
over half a century'of years, the blackness of
their shadow.
Many changes had taken place my par
ents were dead-Edward and ] grown up
your aunt Edith marred--my uncle Richard
was my guardian, and, though | was twenty
three, still managed my estate--a task to which
Twas myself unequal. Edward resided with
my uncle whenever he came from the nniver-
sity--I generally remained at Loeb Abbey,
which loved, and which by its wildneSs and
loneliness, best suited those morbid and broo-
ding habits which had much increased as /
grew to manhood.
had yet a strong desire which was asha-
med TO declare, to become the free master ofmy
own estates, and to escape from the loathed
control of my uncle. This desire brought me
often to Ballyborough, where my uncle anX-
eusly tried to detain me.
His authority--strange to say--still held my
spirit bound by the viewless links of custom,
fear and unconscious respect. He was always
right when we differed land had sense E.
nough to feel it. My submission was yet
against the grain of my inclination--and con-
strained and nervous petulance supplied the
place of resistance. My uncle always met this
with calm and dignifed for5earance; so that
my bitterness recoiled upon its morbid source.
Often upon these occasions, was both check
ed and angered, by an expressive silence, or by
a glance ofdisappointed kindness, andgentle-
manly surprise at unealled for rudeness. Often
however; were these petulant discharges of an
acrimonious htimour met with the keen anC
playfnl; vet not less severe retort of my uncle''
superior wit. In these moments of defeat anC
humiliation, my resource was the solitude o
| Loeb Abbey, whittier retired to brood among
the woods, and by the lonely mountain lake
| Here [ called up, and satiated scheme aftel
scheme of vindictive ieeling-in the visions 0
| a spIenetic imagination or listened to the i'll
onIened hints and suggestions of the fiend- like
| O'Roorke, who was ever at my side. These
| fits were mostly terminated by a visit from
Edward, and by my own restless desire to D
master of my estates :-of which Okoork'
assured me the management was quite easy
He seemed, indeed, on this point, more anxlou
than myself, and ever coEtrlved to mtroduc'
the subject when we were alone: had 500
reason to know that my uncle himself becam
no less anxious TO accede to my deslre--and
| little time would doubtless have proved lt--bu
the hand ofmy fate was upon me-
At this time, my visits to Castlecorragl
were also frequent They were always to m
occasions of the most painful interest. Their
had been for some years an express undel
standing among both families, that on comm
lof age was to be admitted as an acknoWlet
ged sutton to Lady Eleanor: While her re
Iuctance, and my own accused timididity-
during the whole period kept this understand
ing as much as possible in the back ground.
was afraid of compelling the dear girl te pledg
herself to opposition, and was satisfied thi
Edward. for whom she had an obvious prefe
ence. was kept at distance by the policy
I the senior parties. Uncle Richard, as hi
become aware. was anxious for a different a
ranoement IN behalf of Edward, and as lear
ed from himseh had offered large sacrifices
, Obtain it. But in this he was compelled
!, give awav. WhenI was Just of age, form
J adjustment Of preIminaries was discussed
tween him and Lord ---. OF which, wi
! apprised and, in consequence, spent much
nv time at Castlecorrah, in order that mig
: make my advances, as usual on SUCH occasion
t Instead Of advancing, felt myself to be rath
! losing ground though Eleanor: n comp 'l
: ance with her parents. lent herselfto my 9
: tentions-.it was yet in such manner az
t check every disposition which might have
5 me to more explicit addresses. She emitted
oeoss;on for hints that chilled my ardour a
r checked my pride. In truth she SAID bit
: thin0s which appeared. as they werei all
h from f,,,r, her nature and daily began to f
{ myself more subdned and tongue-tled IN }
e n ,3 This fearful vacilatioli was anol
D s. Ingredient in the poisoned cadron Of
+ fate. II kept up an irritated disccntent q
: self.renroaoh, which gave a keener and me
b;sser energy To the fears, resentmenssand
S f ,;,,at which Iielt towards others.