Carroll free press. [volume] (Carrollton [Ohio]) 1834-1861, 1841-10-29
THE HooslER AND THE YANKEE

THE HOOSlER AND THE YANKEE,
We were greatly amused, not long
since, at dialogue we heard between
Down easter and Hoosier from the
west. They were respectively crack
ing up their localities, and running down
their opponents.
At length says the Hoosler-
"Why our land is so rich-why ye
never seed any thing so ;arnal rich in
your lfe-wby, how dye suppose we
make our candles, har
Don't know" relurned'the Yankee.
1--WE dip 'em ia the mud puddles," /"
says the lloosier.
yes" replied the Yankee, "and |
guess there's so much mud in your dig
gins, that there isn't many places where
a man could not dip candles in The mud
puddles have heard Of man traV.
cling in your country all day long, in a
road where the mud was so deep that
you couldn't discover glimpse Of his
legs for hours together"
"WelI, nov just tell us Mr. Yankee,
if it is fact what they do say about the
roughness Of your roads down east
They do say there are so many stones
in the roads, and that the wagons do
jolt up so all freddy that the only way
the people ever grind out plaster paris,
is bv .oadrng the big pieces into a wagon,
and just driving at moderate trot over
one of your roads; and that half a miles
driving will grind it all inIo pow der"
"There's no doubt but we can touch
dry land occasionally on our roads. But
then if there are some sIuns in the
roads, the traveller is never Waylaid,
and his blood taken by mosquitoes as
big as oysters"
'Pll tell you what, stranger, they do
say there are hull counties down east
where the stones are 81 thick, that they
have to sharpen the Sleeps noses so
they can get them between The rocks TO
eat grass Indeed, | heard of one, who
once travelled through your country,
that he one day saw a whole field Of
men and boys standing on the rocks,
each on 'em letting sheep down by
the hind legs in among the rocks TO feed.
And in another place he said he saw the
farmers shooting the grain in among the
rocks so as TO take root and grow"
"Wal now, stranger, suppose you tell
US about your own country; you're the
only man ever seen from the west
that didn't die OF fever n'agur; let's
see il you know as much about The wesl
as you seem to know about the east"
"Well, old Yankee, III Just tell you
all about it, If farmer IN our country
plants his ground with corn and takes
first rate care of it, he'll git hundred
bushels to he acre; and if he don't plant
at all he'll gIl fifty"
"The beets grow so large that it
takes three yoke OF oxen to pull up a
fu 1 sized one; and hen it leaves hole
81 large that | once knew a family OF
five children who all tumbled into a beet
hole once before it got filled. and the
earth caved in upon them and they all
persisted.
THE trees grow so large that | once
knew man who commenced cutting
one down. and when he had cut away
on one side for about ten days, he
thought he would jest take look round
! the trpe and when he cot round on
'tolher side, no found man who had
been cutting at it for three weeks and
they had neve heard one another's ak
| es.
| have heard tell, yet | somewhat
doubt that story, that the Ohio pdSaipS
have sometimes grown clean through
the earth and been pulled through by
the people on 'toiher side"
"WaI, now" "says The Yankee, 81 rath.
er guess as how, stranger. you've told
enough for the present How'd you
like to trade for some clocks to sell out
wes2'
"Never use 'em-we keep time alto
gerher with punkin vines. You know
they grow just five feet an hour, and
that's an inch a minute. Don't use
clocks at alt. lis no use, old Yankee,
we can't trade, no how"
The Yankee gave up beat, and sud-
denly cleared out