Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1841-05-21
One who has Died without Living

Aui' uui LCSidIu uIcu Il lCW WSSnS ugOt
at Dion, in Burgundy, at the age of II, lea
wing the following memoir, whereby he
proves that he has not lived:
"All that is suffering, sorrow, ennui, des-
pair, desire, regret, should be deducted from
life, because we should ourselves have deduc-
ted it, had heaven permitted.
"Wlen three years old, ! was weaned :
at six, could speak but badly seven |
split my skull at nine was cured. must
ence ; for surely, to drink nurses sour milk,
not to speak, to speak badly; and to spill,
ones skull, is not living,
eat the age of nine began my studies
Owing to my cracked skull, my head was a
hard one, and proved stubborn to tuition
required two years labor to spell the lpha-
BET. was indebted to the letter Z alone
for four hundred lashes. The other twenty
three letters made compete martyr of me-
AT the age Of twelve could read, but my
body was mangled by the alphabet scars.
An attempt was made TO teach me Latin
and | lost my French in the experiment.
AT fifteen knew nothing at all, ard IA for
ccd diet of bread and water lad reduced m,
to mere skeleton, Six years more ar,
therefore deducted. AT sixteen my faith.
or made ME notary's clerk. Then COM
inenced new of martyrdon. got up a
six; swept the office, lighted the stove, was
crubbed by the teller clerks, and my falhc
overwhelmed with complaints about me, de.
prived me of my dinner. This sort Of life
led for five years, and from my life will posi-
lively deduct them. At twenty, my father
quite disguised with his son, put me on boarc
OF ship at Cherbourg, washed the deck
crept up the topmast, mended the sails, ant
received thirty lashcs a day upon the ban
back. This was endured four years.
AT twenty four my father made me {
haberdasher. married Mad'elc Ursul,
Dcvosins, a turner's daughter her portion
consisted Of thirty thousand livres morgaget
upon sugar estate IN St. Domingo, Tn,
day after the wedding found out that m,
wife had Il wooden leg, made by my father
in-law the turner. The poor woman mad,
thousand apologies for her inlirmty, ant
pardoned out her of respect to her marriage
portion.
"Thc st. Domingo blocks rose against tho
''' o"'"' 'iC hiuiiidSc pOItIOll-liit
wooden leg was all that was left to me. A
thirty | lost my wife in consequence of
scrotua disease in her leg. Ispent six year,
OF marriage, rcpcnting every minute. VIVA
folly | committed in taking that leg.
therefore deduct those six years of my life
Having as every body else, slept thiic
part ofmy life, | deduc, "a years of sleep
and | am below right reckoning, for was
great sleeper. A year lost, adding minul.
to minute in searchig for the keys cf NJ,
desk, which was continually mislay1ng.
Does one live when he looks for IA key!
Three years lost in having myself shaved
powdered, &c. Five years in sullcrig the
tooth ache, two inilamations of the chest
with relapscs and convalesccncc. Three
lost in saying "What o'clock!' "We lay,
bad weather to day." GLOW is your Lady,
81 have had cold" "Marlborough's ch.
va-t-en eucrfe, what mnd in the streets
what winteNhis year, Six months los, ii
having the mud brushed off one, and six il.
brushing one'shat. One year of endurance
of the ent'actcs of the theatre. One year
lost in listening to the modern dramas, chef,
d'Guvre of genius not understood. One
year lost il complaining of sal, and tastccs,
soups, of outlets too much or under done
Of indigestion, ofhard eggs, &c. Total, II
years. beg leave to declare that in giving
up the ghost, | do not give up anything worl
keeping"