The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1841-08-07
MtsrelIaneotts.
A RILL FROM THE TOWN PUMP.
BY NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE.

(soENE-Mc corner of t,co principal streets. -
The Town PUMP talking through its nose.
Noon BY the north clock Noon by the east
| High noon, too, by these hot sunbeams, which
| fall scarcely aslope upon my head, and almost
make the water bubble and smoke in the trough
under my nose. Truly, we public characters
have tough time Of it And among all the
town officers chosen at March meeting, where
is he that sustains, for single year, the burthen
| of such manifold duties as are imposed, In per-
petuity upon the Town Pump. The tille of
town treasurer is rightfully mine, as guardian
of the best treasure that the town has. The
overseers of the poor ought to make me their
chairman, since | provide beautifully for the
pauper, without expense TO HIM that pays taxes.
| | am at the head of the fire department., and
one of the physicians 10 the board of health
As keeper of the peace all water drinkers will
confess me equal to the constable. ! perform
some of the duties of the town clerk, by promul-
eating public notices when they are posted on
my front To speak within bounds, | am the
chief person of the municipality, and exhibit,
moreover, an admirable pattern to my brother
officers, by the cool, steady, upright, and down
| right discharge of my business, and the constan-
| cy with which stand to my post. Summer or
winter, nobody seeks me in vain for, all day
long, am seen at the busiest corner, just above
the market, stretching out my arms 10 rich and
poor alike and at night hold a lantern over
my head, both to show where i am and to Ike p
| people out of the cutters.
/ At this sultrv noonlide, am cup-bearer to the
parched populace for whose benefit an iron COB
let is chained to my waist. Like dram-seller
on the mall muster-day, ] cry aloud to all and
sundry, in my panest accents, and at the very
tip top OF my voice. Here il is gentlemen
Here is the good liquor! Walk up. walk IN,
gentlemen, walk up, walk up! Here is the su,
perior stuff Here is the unaduteratcd ale OF
father Adam-better than Cognlac, Hollands,
Jamaica, strong beer, or wine Of any price
here it is, by the hogshead or single glass, and
not a cent to pay Walk up, gentlemen, walk
| up and help yourselves
| Ii were pity if all this outcry should draw
no customers. Here they come "A hot day,
gentlemen Quaf and away again. so as 10
| keep Yourselves in nice cool sweat. You, my
| friend, will need another cup full to wash the
dust out of our throat, if il be as thick there as
| il is on your COW hide shoes! | see that you
have trudged half score of miles to-day and,
| like the wise man, have passed by the taverns,
and stopped Mt the running brooks and well
curbs Otherwise, betwixt heat without fire
within, you would have been burned to cinder,
| or melted down to nothing at all, in the fashion
of Jelly fish. Drink, and make room for that
other fellow who seeks my aid to quench the
4 HtTN FEVER VI last uisll IlOtdtloHS. WHICH ut
drained from no cup Of mine Welcome, most
rubcond sir! You and ] have been great stran-
gers, hitherto; nor, 10 confess the truth, will my
nose be anxious for closer intimacy, till the
| fumes of your breath be little less potent
Mercy on you, man. The water absolutely his
ses down your red-hot oullet, and is converted
4 quite to steam, in the miniature tophct, which
| YOU mistake for a stomach. Fill again, and tell
me on the word OF an honest topper did you ever,
in cellar, tavern, OF any kind of dram-shop, spend
the price OF your chdren's food, for a swlg halt
i so delicious Now, for the first time these ten
| years, you know the flavor of cold water. Good
\ bye; and whenever you are thirsty remember
| that keep a constant supply nj the old stand
| Who ncxt2 Oh, my lttle friend, you are let
loose from school, and come hither to scrub your
blooming face, and drown the memory of certain
taps Of the ferrule aud other schooI-boy troubles,
in draft from the Town Pump. Take it, pure
as the current of your young life Take il, and
imay your heart and tongue never be scorched