Democratic standard. [volume] (Georgetown, Brown County, Ohio) 1837-1850, 1841-03-23
A CHAPTER ON BUsTLEs.

though, thank heaven! there are thousands
ofmy countrymen who are as yet ignorant
of both, aud indeed to whom such knowl-
edge wonld be quite useless. Would that
! We're in equal innocent ignorance. No,
reader, am moi of the female sex, and
do not use the article in question, butrny
knowledge Of It's mysterious uses, aud the
materials Of which it is composed, has
been the ruin of me. will have iuscri-
bed on my tomb, "Here lies man who
was killed by buslle!"
Before | detail the circumstances of
my unhappy fate, it will perhaps be pro-
per to give description Of the article it.
self, which has been the cause Of my un-
doing. Well, then, hustle is =
an article used by the ladies to take from
their form the character of the Venus of
the Greeks, and impart to it that Of the
Venus of the Hotentots. That ladies'
should have a taste SO singular, may ap-
pear incredible: but there is no account
ing for tastes, aud know to my cost that
the fact is indisputable. made the dis
coVery few years since, and up 10 that
time had lways borne the character Of
a sedato and promising young man--one
likely to get on in the world by my exer-
tions, and therefore sure to go helped by
my friends. | was even, Aatter myself,
favorite with the fair sex too, and justly,
for | was their most ardent admirer; and
there was one lovely creature among them
whom had fondly hoped to have made
my own. But alas, how yaiL and visiOna.
~ are our hopes ofhappiness; such hopes
with me have fed forever!
In an unlucky hour | was in ball
room, seated at little distance from my
fair one, my eyes watching every air and
look, my ears catching every sound other
sweet vOice-when heared her COM
plain to friend in tones Of the softest
whispering music, that she was oppress-
ed by the heat of the place. "My DEAR"
her friend replied, " it must be the
effect of your hustle. What do you stuff
it wthT'-" Hair-horse hair" was the
reply. "Hair!-mercy on u.s." exclaimed
her friend" it is no wonder you're op,
pressed-thal's HOT material truly. Why,
you should do as do-yeu don't see me
faiIting; and the reason is, that | stufmy
hustle with hay-new haym
yheard no more, for the ladies appre-
hending from my eyes that ! was lis
tener, changed the topic Of conversation,
though indeed il was not necessary, for
at the time ! had not the slightest notice
of what they meant. Time, however,
passed on most favorable TO my wishes
another month and should have called
Catharine my own. She was ON a visit
10 my sister, and had every opportunity
10 make myself agreeable. We sang to.
gethor, we talked together and we dan
ced together. And this would have been
very we'll, but unfortunately, We also |
walked toaether. 1t was on the last time
we ever DID 50, that the circumstance
occurred which | have now to relate,
and which gave the first death-blow to |
my hopes of happiness We were cross
ing Carlisle bridge, her dear arm link
ed in mine, when we chanced to meet a
female friend, and wishing to have a
little chat with her without incommo.
ding the passengers, we got to the side
Of the hag,way, near which at the time
there was standing an old white horse
totally blind. He was quiet looking an
imal and none could suppose from his
physiognOmy that he had any savage
propensity in his nature. But imagine my
astonishmeRt and horror, when suddenly
hcared my charmer give a scream that
pierced me TO the very heart, and then
perceived that this atrocious old blind
brute, having slowly and slyly swayed his
head round, caught the-how shall | do.
scribe it? Caught my Catharine--realIy
| can't say how; but he caught her; and
before could extricate her from his jaws,
he made rent in her garments such
as a lady never suffered. Silk gown,
hustle, aud eVerv thing, in fact, gave
way, and left an opening a chasm-an
exposure, that may, perhaps, he imagin-
ed" AS rapidly as could of course,
/ got my fair one into cab, and hurried
home, the truth of The ball room iete.a-
tete gradually opening in my mind as the
true case Of tho disaster. II was that :
the blind horse, hungry brute, had been q
attracted by the smell Of my Catharine's !
busile, made Of "hay--new hayI"
Ca,harine was never the same to me 7
lfierwards-She took the most invincible
1slike to walk with me, or rather to be a
Ieen in the streets with me. But matters c,
we're not yet come to the worst, and | '.
had INDUCED ia the hope that she would Il
yet be mine. had, however, taken a ii
deep aversion to bustlss, and even deter.
mined 10 wage war upon them TO the
best OF nj ability. In this spirit few
days after, | determined TO wreak my
vengeance on my sisters hustle, for
found by this time that she TOO was EN-. =.
ilOus Of being a Hottentot beauty. Ac- Ii
cordingly having to accompany her and ac
ny intended wife to bali, I stole into au
ny sisters room in the course Of the eve.
ling before she went in 10 dresa and