Southern Argus. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1834-1842, 1841-04-07
GEOReE FAITHFUL MrNDAx.
"one fatal Remembrance !"

"One fatal Remembrance 20
CHAPTER /.
II, by some extraordinary gift of recollection
and torgetfulness. any one could distinctIv 70
call the actual states Of his mind, in the seve-
raj stages oflfe, and annihilate the intervals of
slow transition,by which they have been grad
uaiiy run INTO each other-as daylight fades
INTO perfect obscurity, so that the changes are
only 10 be traced by their accumulation-the
contrasts; thus perceived, would be inconsis-
tent with that sense OF identity, which accom-.
Panies the mind through all these changes
put so Il is-that in the progress OF our wears,
the lapse of time is unperceived, and our davs
glide away like the sands in the hour-glass.-
The ideas OF the past appearnot TO have-been,
rather than to have departed; and those ofthe
present. to stand still in the attitude of perpe-
tuity, possessing the mind with the impression
OF an established order. The man thus finds
It as hard to imagine himself child,-as the
child to conceive the temper ofthe man. Such
IS the common order ofnatural change. But
there are neutrality-suspicious. not often
trains of fatality combinations so unfortu
nate minds so peculiarly organized; influen-
ces so bhghtmg that the changes which they
cause are not easily explained. They are
sudden, dreadful and violent, IKE the earth
quake, which breaks unexpected from the boz
som ofa.sunny and fertile landscape-to as
tonIsh, confound, apd destroy, and leave sterile
devastation behind. So sudden and so great
has been the revolution Of my being, from the
event of moment, that ever since, can hard
" feelmyseIf the same. My position in the
world, nv feelings, and whole moral being are
totally changed. To me, the world of which
was one, is not as the land ofthe living, but Of
the silent dead. Where | am-there is moth
ing like what was-and all that remains to bind
me to former days, are recOllections that seem
to belong to pTe-existence.
Yet, were it not that human consciousness
can trace to their source the secret working
causes of moral ruin--it would be impossible
TO reconcile with probability, the occurrence
from which l must date this era ofmy exis-
tence. The seeming accident was the result
of causes, ofwhich must first endeavour, and
it is no slight TASK to convey to your mind a
distinct impression:
| With this purposes let me entreat your at
| tention, while endeavour TO introduce some
ideas of persons and places necessary to the
distinct understanding of my early history; and
Of that formation of character to which the
seeming fatality of my life is 10 be traced.
On the shore OF lonely mountain lake, IN
the country Of you have seen the ruins
of Loeb Abbey-and as have heard you say,
wept, among the abandoned dwellings of your
ancestors. Those dark and moss-grown gables
those turrets, rent by the unreslsted elc-
ments-those old climneys, tenanted by the
raven, and echoing desolately to the cilatterlng
of The swallow and the jackdaw-were the JOY
Gus scenes Of domestic affection,and the haunts
Of kindred greeting and hospitable cheer.
NV father had three children, of whom
was the eldest--your father, the second, and
a daughter; who, as you know, married INTO an
English family. Otir domestic circle was,how-
ever, much enlarged by the constant visits Of
uncles, aunts, and numerous tribes Of cousins,
first, second, and third; up to the tenth degree
a. least (; some of whom were never wanting
to swell the social group at Loeb Abbey. Be
sides these-there was a lively intercourse
kept I'D with an extensive, though not very
/ densely inhabited neighbourhood in whlch,to
be sufficiently respectable, and to live within a
i DAVIS tourney. constituted neighbour. AT the
| time IN which this narrative relates, respec-
fable resident sristoeratv; cultivated there the
i rcfned charities Of civilized life IN the same
dwellings,. now mostly tenanted by homey
and half bred class, who have since sprung UP
ike children of the soil; to rapidly amasseo
wealth. and the Importance it brings IN ITS tram
AIasI how often have felt melancholy ex-
nltation. in the thought how few OF those VINO
i ro;obt recollect the history of my youthful er,
rors arc now alive-ihe world from which
am AN outcast is itself no more.
NV Younger brother, Edwards was endowed
with manv attractive and endeareg qualltles
Among the youthful he was centre IN ever
c;rcle-.to the old, theme OF approval an.
fortunate promise-in afterhie happily reanzeu !,
I was IS opposite in all things and yet al
] from the operation of one seemingly 'lninuu
, ;nfirmitv--an excessive love OF aPproDauoSn
, envenoned bv a sensitiveness which Dotn u
minisbed nv power to please, and mace III
moro koenlv alive to failure. 1t was my oai.
. In ~ no surpassed by Edward--to hear mn
, nra;sed and approved--to feel myself unhappy
Ps "a ,b;nL mvself despised. Thus the gan
S a;,t was infused among the earliest a
Lotions If INV youth, and spirit OF jealous
r,'.',rr nm within me, which grew with 10
rrowt6.' Had been younger DroIlel' III. MI
e th;s MIGHT have been neutrallzed by otht
causas for competition ceases as lne ViI eeI
Z ;,,ac,,aI;tv Of circumstances begins 10 De lel
' mt 4 was not so. This cause was ltseh ~ -
rerted and produced an opposite enect. ~ !.
' .o,s scted unwisely; she might have taugl
Al 20
me 10 do Justice to the virtues Of otners, y;
innate myselfaright and aim at tEe 1T9e n1 ~.
ity Of noble thoughts and purposes wit y, ~
j nsrtialitv which mothers SO often snew ~
best sons, she taught me to resent suPeliV ~
I md 70 overrate myself She taught me :., =
|? ssIl;sh. and became unjust. Praise w''llli s
was an injury, and every seeming sl1g tb v sn1
) aggravated into grievous insult W." hi
il e SeeIinps cankering in my breast, when Gnu
NV reIIIce was behind my mother scnan. = :
a crew older, my resource was Drooolng q :,
;Sd S- solitude, haunted by all unha Ppy q,
al evil impressions. Had it however, 80 -
81 merely solitude, withits shadows and GTeaI
Ike influences, it had perhaps been WEI WI -
Changes Of busy life might have restored y I'M ~
mvself But my solitude was na ha.s .oo y =,
d serd IN human shape alas! It IS but sOo a y
nal that Il should be SO. could pear ~ ~ ~
nan;on but flatterer, and became .us '' -
u I hase and vulgar minds. III perc,eevs,I, = !.
y ,aseness. il had first mingled i1sell WIN :
sDrit Of nv thoughts, and with my no''0''7
III human nature. ..a.l,,,
2, had one companion, who seiec a' s .,bs
Il = childhood, chung to me through lne W; -,
r. 4N.rfh n4SSEu