The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1841-11-13
For The Cecil Wing.
HUMAN CHARACTER NO. ".
SQUEEZER AND SQUID.

veX, and the right very concave, they are
proper legs, that is pair Of props; yet
property are neither your bow-leg, nor
your knock-knee; but are your regular
shin-nieS: and being as straight as twin
marks Of interrogation in Siamese-con-
tact, fit as costly and yield as cha itably
to each others crooked ways, as any two
hayward boys on cold night, lying in
bed in that sort of juXlaposition best ex-
pressed by the term spoon-fashion. He is
as moon-iaced (by which | mean as lull
in the face as the man in the full moon,
fat in the back as Bak'well or South
down, and as short-winded,- re-
markably broad houldered & thick in the
glrth,-i> no man Of loose habits. but, au
contrairc, forces himself into the good
graces of an exceeding tight coat of IN
credibly short waist with most wastefwl
expenditure IN that useful appendix, the
tan; and altogether resembling in geogra-
phIcal s.iperficies, the pattern Of great
kite, with its neither addition. Let me
add, that the two wast-buttons seem as
though they had had words and parted in
anger. never again to see each other. |
hate such near neighbors falling out and
separating in hull,-it looks bad: better
by far live even in a feeble imitation of
that social amity and contented fellowship
which so plainly characterize and con-
tradlsilnguish my friend Squeezcr's legs
from all other legs, IA standing example
to all.
Perhaps enough has been said to con-
vey some slim idea of ''the earthly house"
or outward and visible of this fat angel
with the legs, Mr.. Robert, alias Bob
Squeezer. And as we should nsvcr press
matters too far, as the gentccl loafer said
when he Impressed a pair Of new shoes in
place of his, into his service as he was
leaving hotel, we will proceed.
But if it be thought that bachelor
Scraggs, party Of the one part, is going to
sort out matters in such a manner as to
preserve perfect connection in time and
place, day and date,&c. in what he has
now to relate, ltrust IT'S a mistake. Par
don ne if | say, he no day-and-date
man just now: although very fond of
yates, he is (when hungry)-no, fig
Tor all dates, says he, when one is in the
fancy trade. They are about of as much
use here as putting pad-locks on ieathern
saddle-bags-only leading one into temp
tatlon.
No, let us be unrettered, free,-ave,
Tree to roam where we lst,-know whom
we wlll,-cut all who will not know us
IN our own way and on our own TERMS
Eye natures walks, shoot folly as it flies,
And catch the manners living as they rise;
Laugh where we may, be candid where we
can,
But vindicate the ways of God to man."
Then come along with me. said Mr..
Scraggs to Mr.. Jones,-here's for RAM
bis. What say you to extending it as
far as my friend Bob's olice?-you know
Bob, dom: you?-
No.
No!-Don't know Bob?-You'll die
i'll ignorance.
liza, ha, he he.-Nor Nancy2-nor any
of the Squeezers?
Mo-
Come, that'll do. took it for granted
you knew Bob, at least. Why every body
knows Bob; and because every body does
OF course, thought you did.-Wcll this
way, Pll introduce you You see, Bob
thinks he has a great deal to do, merely
because he has a great deal to say; and
therefore Re keeps kind of little Office
up street: but whether for law or gospel.
Is not exactly clear. Yes, he is one of
your ncessant takers; lancying it impos
slble to be man of his word, | suppose,
without good many words,-and occa-
slonally taking down notes, by way of
being, | presume, u man of note. You
need not be at all surprised to see him
stop suddenly in conversation, just to dot
down some word or idea, fresh caught
from your lips, to be petted and tanned at
his leisure.
Singular fellow, that. And just let me
tell you before hand, that If you think to
make yourself agreeable by talking much
TO him, there you're out. No, you could
not more egreg'onsl y err; than by not
beng content with a very precious modi-
cum OF the conversation on your part
Aye, patronise listening liberally:but econ
omIse largely, ertravagantly in speech
Besides which, beg you will not be al
all put OUT at finding Bob as familiar in
one moment after knowing YOU, as if Won
and he had been kettle and pan, skin and
bone, eye-ball and eye-lash, from your in
fancy It's the mans way; and every
man Except married oncs) ought to have
a way of his own; or else he's nobody
and it's the way Of the whole Squeezer
family: SO set it down on the debit side of
oddly. Here we are. Bob seated at
his office table, apparently much engaged
with paper-enter two.