The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1841-11-13

disturbances, by pushing things to ex-
remtles; that is pushing too far forward
the junior and iniantle members of the
foot family, the toes, into notice, beyond
all decent limits. hate extremes
By the bye, Mr.. Jones, (talking about
boots, how's your father),' it has often
struck me how some people are miscalled.
For instance, | know one of the Foots
who is at least tathom. hate misno
mers. He should have been called Car
cas-, or Cable,-or any thing but the sign
for twelve inches. And there was my
! friend Lowe who stood as high as most
men-aud Bill Short down in the Neck,
who, when re Strengthened up and let all
the kinks out, was more than two Yards
long. It's true that when he laid down
he did not cover an acre, yet knew a
man named Longacre, not an inch longe
than Bill. Now why might'nt Longacre
have been named Short instead of BilI2 |
hate paradoxes. The fact is, Bill is ncpcr
Short and would be long, living or dead,
and particularly dying.
MIR. Jones, there is philosophy in what
! am telling you, and desire your for
bearance little further. Bob says he
knows Mr. White who is as green as a
miss,-and a Miss Green, as white as the
wall,-a Mr.. Wall, no more stony,heart-
ed than poor dear old Mrs. Stone; and she
although sixty, is as tender as a chicken
Bill Brown, the drover, is regular
sandy, foxy red-and Jim Black, is often
er '6lnc' than anything else; but when in
state Of nature. that is, apart from all
DISCUSSES, is a sort of molly dapple of
cream color and saffron, with strong de-
velopment of deep pink streaked down
his grlstly promontory, styled by great
stretch of courtsey, nose. What abom-
Unable perversions Of language! hate per-
versions.
In that mildly said Mr.. Jones, Il a
gree with YOU
That is encouraging, Mr.. Jones. But
what look at, sir, (and here Bob and |
agree,) is the gross neglect Of our legsla-
tors in not curing all such eye-sores, by
compelling people to be named right, as
fast as facts call for it. What good reason
is there sir, why Bill Short, who was pro-
perly SO named when but an infant of two
or three spans, should not be Bill Long
when he has long since, in point of fact,
ceased to be Bill Short and grown to be
Bill Long2 What right has he? sir, Mis-
ter Jones, would have our rights looked
to with lynxeyes, and guarded with
wlth-hsh-hooks and goose quils, would:
otherwise we are gone duck. Our
lmmunities, let me tell you sir, are tritter-
ed down to pancake.
you astonish and alarm me, Mr.
Scraggs'
do, do p Well now sir, suffer me to
tell you, in confidence, that am person.
ally acquainted with delicate and inter-
estlng little lady, somewhere, about five
feet four, whom they actually had the
unparalleled temerity to call a Glen,
without the slightest regard to the fact
that few or none of her name are to be
found under mile or two in length
some of them league. Shocking de-
pravity and bad taste. hate all depravi-
y and want of taste, particularly about
dinner time-and can't bear such gross
dlsproportion, Mr.. Jones, as the little fly
said to the big spider that paid his dew
ours to her. know lady, sir, so large
and delormed in her system, of economy
that to save in hemming, she would have
seven white handkerchiefs in use at once
thus: she'd buy enough muslin to make a
sheet, and when put together, she'd lay
1t off into seven squares, by lines Of dura-
bic ink, appropriating one square to each
day of the week. OF course there were
awful encroachments in times of bad colds
in the head of the concern, hate part
ncrship-work, especially in pocket hand
kerchiefs, where drop may turn the
scale and destroy ''the balance of power''
so necessary to the healthiul action of
all cohlederacies. The Pennsylvania
Legislature, lin particular, Mr.. Jones, at
this important crisis, ought to look to this
handkerchel-and- drop-business, instead
Of triaing away time and money so prodi-
gally in such unimportant bubbles as pre-
vldlng monetary circulating Medium
and relieving trades-people. What do
you say to that, Mr.. Jones2
Il say, there is philosophy in what you
say, Mr. Scraggs.
Go on SIR
Mr. Jones, at your bidding, | will, sir.
Then recur to the subject Of gross, pal
pable and objectionable misnomers. There
sir are the wealthy Slavmakers, who
keep their coach, and ride in it, too, who
never made sleigh in all their lives, but
would slay you to talk of it:-and the
rich Shoemakers. who'd think nothing OF
slipping your collar-bone out if you'd
say slipper to them. Mr.. Rakestraw
knows as much about raking straw, as
Kickapoo squaw does about cranberry
tarts and other kickshaacS;' or a chief Of
the Sandwich isles does of sandwiches
and floating islands, Alas! without