Sunbury American and Shamokin journal. [volume] (Sunbury, Northumberland Co., Pa.) 1840-1848, 1841-10-09

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how Yves pleased with ihe opera. The question
was put at an unlucky moment, was Just raising
large morsal Of potatoe TO my mouth, and iu order
to reply as quickly a,possble hastily thrust It In,
intending to swallow It instantly. Heavens! it
was as hot as burning lava What could do
The lody's eyes were fixed on me, waiting a reply
to her question; but my mouth was in flames In
vain rolled the burning morsel hither and hher,
rocking my head from side TO side, while my eyes
which Involuntary had Fl red on her. were strained
from their sockets. She regarded my grimaces,
of the cause Of which believe she ignorant,
with amozemen, and surprise, at which can laugh
nO,o when I think Of it.
"You're sick, SIR" at length she gently and In
an anxious tone, inquired. I could bear no more.
My mouth hayed with the burning mass, and
smarting with intolerable pain, quietly abandon
ing the point, opened it to its utmost, anil out
dropped the internal frebrand upon my plate. Not
the slightest tendency to smile ruffed the imler-
turable polencss Of the lady. She soothingy con.
doled with me my misfortune, and then gradu.
ally led the conversation to variety of topics, till
e1erlng the magic influence hat true poli,eness al.
ways exercises, I began to forget even my own
blunders. Gradually, my cheeks burned less pain.
fully, and could even join in the conversation
without the fear that every word uttered sh ared
the fate of every action attempted. even ven-
ured to hope, nay. to congratulate myself that the
catalogue of my calamities was completed to-day.
"let no one call himself happy before DEATH"
said Solon; and he spoke wisely. The ides Of
March not yet over. Before US stood dish
of cauliHower, nicely done in butter. This na,u-
rally enough took for q custard pudding which it
sufficiently resembled. Unfortunately my vocabu.
larry was not extensive enough to embrace oil the
techncalties of The tables and when my fair neigh,
Dor inquired if were fond Of chou feur, verify
took it to be the French for custard pudding, and
so high was my panygerc of it, tina, my plate was
soon beautifully laden with it, Alas! one single
mouhful was enough TO dispel my illusion. Would
to heaven that The couleur had vanished along with
it. But that remained bodily, aud, amos, as large
and burning as Vesuvius. my heart d ed within me.
Ashamed to confess my mistake, though could
almost as readily have swallowed an eaqual guam.
,'y of soft soap, struggled maniully on against he
diabolical compound. endeavorcd to sap the
mountainous heap at its base, and shutting nv eyes
and opening my mouth, to nhume os large masses
as could without stopping to taste it, Bot my
stomach soon hogan, intllighlv enough, to init
mate lis intention to admit more Of this nau,e-
Gus stranger beneath its roof, II not expellng lha,
which had already gained an unwelcome admit,
lance.
The seriousness of the task had undertaken,
and the resolution necessary 10 execute It, had 81
ven an earnestness and rapidity to my eIerl,ons,
which appetite would not have inspired; when my
plate had somewha, got the edge Of the table,
upon leaning forward, tilted up, and down slid the
disgusting mass into my lisp. My handkerchief,
unable to bear so weghty load, bent under it in
lis turn, and great proportion Of ii was safely de-
posted in my hat. The plate instaa,ly righ,ed it
self, as ] raised my person; and as glanced my
eyes round the table, and that no one had no.
tced my disaster, inwardIy congratulated myself
that the nauseous deception was so happily dispo-
sed of. Resolving not to be detected, | instantly
rolled my hantkercheif, together with all its re-
naming contents, and whipped i, into my pocket
The dinner table was al length deserted for The
drawing ,roon where coffee and Equeurs were ser
we'd round. Meantime had sought ou, what con
sidered safe hding.plac for my hat, beneath {
chair in the dining room, for ] dared not carry i
, longer in my hand; having frs, thrown morse
of paper into the CROWN 10 hide the cauaower from
view. should any one chance, in seeking for his owr
hat to look into mine
On my returning from the drawing room, ctsn
ed to be again seated by the lady, by whom | sa
at dinner-Our convcrsa,ion naturally resumed
aud We were in the midst Of all animated discus
. sion, when huge spider running like
race horse up her srm.
"Tske it of-,ake it of" she CALCULATED, in
terrified tone.
y al was slway. afraid Of spders-so to svoi
touching him with my hand, csnsh. iny hsndke
OF chief from my pocket, and caPped it a, once upo
ID the mscreant, who was already mounting over ht
Id temple with rapid strides. Gracious heaven! | ha
forgotten the cauAower, which now paslered os.
her face like emolllent poultce, fairly killing n
w spider, and binding eye Of the lady, while lit
sh stresmles Of soft butter gded down hrr beautif
OF neck and bosom.
W. Mon Deu Mon Dieu ." exclaimed the asiaI
as shed fair.
of "MOn Dieu :" was echoed from every mouth.
N "Have you cut your head - inquired one
ny "No, no; the sPider-.he spider. The fellO
or has killed the SPIDER"
sa, whats quantity Of sntrsils !" calculated Z
ny ss,onished Frenehman, uneonscicusly 10 himself