Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1841-07-08
NUMBER 10.

must ask father and mother--in short.
il was impossible to answer such ques.
ton so soon; he must wal: few weeks.
He declared that a single weeks suspense
would be equivalent TO large dose OF
Prussic acid, and insisted on the answer
the very next day.
The next day We were engaged.
OF the delicious hours enjoyed while
he remained in town, cannot speak in'the
same tone Of levity in which have re-
counted the proposal nnd acceptance
Tor cannot even think of these, without
shuddeiing at my wckedncss and fully,
and hating and despising myself thou.
sand, thousand times. Those DAYS are
gone, "ns pleasant dream when one
awaketh." lhave indeed awoketo wretch
edness and remorse. o, the curse, tho
bitter curse Of Memory! II crowds my
chamber nightly with the specires of my
folly and hypocrisy.
M'Lellan completed his studies, and
having received an invitation 10 become
pastor of flourishing church in the South,
left me to think on what was past, and
sigh alone. Thence he wrote mo week.
ly. Such letters! How | worshipped
them! How my friends admired! How
proud was to show them, as proofs of
my own power! But soon the hand of
disease laid him PROSTATE, and KEEP. him
very feeble through long, long season
so that his letters to me became the less
frequent, and in consequence OF his enfee.
bled state OF mind ard body, less ardent,
though still sufficiently afiectionate. But
my volatile heart, and found il conve.
nient to pretend jealousy, and discover
want OF due feeling in his letters; ind be-
ing f1attered again by attentions from
young men Of my native city and else
where, had already been husty enough
to address M'Lellan IN tone Of great pee
vshness, nay, almost with insolunce, hop
ing to make him doubt my affection !; TO
become disguised and propose dssolu.
ton of the contract; for my conscience,
scared as it was, hindered me for time
from making this proposal to him.
My scheme took effect in part. He
answered with perfect GOODNESS, bu. made
no proposal to dissolve. continued the
same tone Of impudent complaint, a. !
iancied the opportunity Of speedy mar
riage becoming more apparent; and when
| found myself really addressed by
wealthy widower, with an invitation to 10.
linauish my Southern possessions and take
his instantly, sat down and wrote short
and tender noto Of dismissal to M'Leliau,
concluding with I" God bless you !"
The miserable ambition to ride in
glded carriage was soon gratified but
my heart pants for that which j, has not,
and alas can never have again! have
a beautiful villa, and ar indulgent hus-
band bc, heed not his attentions.
cannot return the love he bears me. Who
can bless the immediate cause Of ones
crimes and tho utter and eternal rum Of
ones pence
Five years are gone, and the green lau-
rel of fame fresbens and blossoms daily
upon the brow Of him whose honors might
have been mine! Whether no knows
what has become Of me, | could never
learn, and may never know; but O!
could see him but once again, my soul
would spurn dictation from Duty or Pru.
dence. ! would fall on my knees, and
beg his forgiveness. and ask his prayers
and my trembling lips should
+" Tell him love him yet, as in that joyous time,
Tell him ne'er forget, though memory nov be
crime
Tell him when fades the light upon the earth and
sea,
dream of him by nsh,-.he mus, no, dream Of mel"