The Illinois free trader and LaSalle County commercial advertiser. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1841-1843, 1841-09-24

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just as | began my bow, stumbled owe
the detested pet, and was suddenly prcci
plated head foremost, like an ancient bat
terlng ram, into the lap of Miss p, over
+ turning episodlcally countryman of my
own, whe was seated next her, balancing
his chair on lis two hind legs.-To save
} himself he lnstinctively grasped the bach
of her chair, and his weight at her rear
acting at the same moment that was hurl
ed at her front, decided all hesitation, ant
over we all rolled together, the chair up.
permost The vile cur who had been al
the bottom Of the whole mischief, seized
me by the leg and received hearty kick
inreturn, and added his bowling to the cho.
rus of dismay thatnow filled theapartment.
4 Happily, the female sufferer in this melee
engrossed all the sympathy and attention
of the company; but we'll knew that in
the short minute that had elapsed since |
had entered the apartment, | had made
three mortal enemies, man, dog, and
a lady.
For my own part, as soon as had ex-
tricaled myself from the terrible crash,
confusion, and shame, retreated into the
most obscure corner of the room, where |
sought 10 hide myself and my oycrwhel-
ming notification, behind the guests who
were lounging about there.
The call to dinner served as a relief 10
my embarrassment; for | hoped that
would engross every ones attention,
which now, could not but feel must be
occupied with my awkwardness. Fol-
loving the company to the dining room,
| saw that each plate contained a card, on
which was written the name Of the guest
who was TO occupy the plate thus desig-
mated. Every one seemed to find his
place as if by magic bat as for me, fouI
or five times did make the circuit OF the
table, looking in vain for mine. Indeed, |
know not but might have continued run
ming about all dinner time unmoICsted
among the crowd of servants had not
Madame o. eyes at length detected me
rs circlcd round and round wilh'a hysle-
Mountaineering rapidlly, my eyes dim
with confusion, and n clammy perspra-
ton believing every pore Of my body,
and at length sunk into my scat, when
| was fairly exhausted with modification
and shame. Here, again, found myself
embarrassed with my hat, which, having
observed that all retained in the drawing
room, still graspcd with nervous peru
nacity,-Ihis | al length disposed of, as
| thought at the time with wonderful in
genuity for | hung it by the brim be-
tween my knees, spreading my handker-
chief over its open cavity.
My seat was next to young lady,
whom Of course was expected to enter
tain. entertain WotuIy had | area-
dy enteartined the company; but | found
myself infinitely better adapted to en-
terrain company en- m0s9c than by SIN
gula'i0n.
The ordinary routine Of a French dim
ner now commenced. Soup and bouiIlc,
fish, fowl, and flesh cnfrcmcatS and h0rS
Penurrcs. while series of servants an
pror,d each instant at our elbows. nyir-
nrus to pagtake of thousand dishes, and
of rs many different kinds of wine, all
under strings of names of which no more
understood than | understood their com
position, or than they did NV gauchcries.
Resolute to avmd all further opportunities
for displaying my predominant trait, sat
in the most obstinate silence, saving
Eyes" to every thing that was offered
me, and eating with most devoted appli-
cation, till, in an evil hour, my fair neigh
Dor, weary of my taclturnily and h,r own,
at lenrlh herself began a conversation, bv
enqnirlng how was pleased with the
opera. The question was pat a, an un.
lucky moment. | was lust raising a large
morseI of pc,,,oe to my mouth and IN or
der to reDIv as quickly as possible, has.
tjlv thrust il in, intending to swallow il