The spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1840-1844, 1841-12-03

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ruelul despair at the memorable jaws of the tin
kitchen, in which the horrible Thanksgiving Day
dooms you to be 'cabined, cribbed, confined, aud
make more turns roundabout than modern poll
llclan? Hear hear! from the pigs, accompa-
med Nth general grunt fSgmpathy.l Friends,
countrymen, aud fellow-sullerers, favor US with
your counsel. Ye valiant turkeys lift up your
heads, Learned geese, display your wisdom.-
Young ducks, quacl defiance TO the Governors
proclamation And oh sweet pigs! We musical
sons OF thunder! set mp your pipes and squeal
dealenng chorus into the ears of the 'Massuchu-
sets Executive Council, Down with that gor-
mandlzlng hobgoblln, the genius Of Thanksgiving
day Ihanders Of opplaase.l
The Moderator having concluded, an Old gander
arose and addressed the chair. Mr. Moderator,
said he, give me leave to express my entire and
cordial appreciation of the sentiments YOU have ut
tered This horrible day, is indeed, day of
mourning for the whole ieahered creation. Seven
ty years have Witnessed its monstrous ravOges
hoping fondly to escape the general prescription
Alas, how vain my calculations! A week ago
was seized by cailf Roxbury iarmer--may a
drumsick choak him. and slaughtered for the Bos-
ton market. Behold me plucked of my plumage,
and not so much MS tail feather left to wag in
doeiul dumps what ills is goosc-h flesh heir to! Mr.
Moderator, move that Thanksgiving be- and is
hereby abolished Great cheering among the
Gcese.l
Here a black duck arose and began to suggest
doubts as 10 the efficacy of the measure proposed
by his wcblooed brother. 1t is useless Mr.
Moderator said he, TO waste time upon so mug
atory a scheme ms this. We have not a moment
TO spare, it being now within two hours Of dinner
time, for the sermon is at least half through, and
see through the window panes of yonder church,
a most muItiyerous and duck-deyouring appe-
tite, written in the faces of every mothers son in
the congregation Sir, we have not two hours to
live Let us adopt some decisive measure. Abol-
ish Thanksgiving Il lddlestick! What individual
among the two-logged monster, will care for that;
Such project is worthy oflhe goose that Matched
it, Lom cries of'order' order' from crerypan
Of The tablet
gay squirrel then rose, scratching from his
face the crumbs of pastry which had smothcred
him in meat pie, and wipng his eyes with the
end of his tail, spoke to the following purport;--
Nh Moderator, as my friend the Black Duck says,
this is a matter for action. We ought not to spend
time in nibbling about the nutshell, but strike at
once into the meat and kennel of the NATTER
How do regret that any gentleman Of this assem-
bly, should indulge in personalities This is
no place for private piques and party anlnos-
tiles. Let ducks and geese 20 nmcaby claw in
claw, and paddle onward 10 the accomplishment
Of the great purpose. Allow ne still to remark
that the proposition ofmy respected friend the gan
der, is in my opinion hardly suitable 10 the present
emergency lhope that gentleman will display his
motion. Here iOud murmurS arose from all
The idJic, and cries of 'QUesii0M GucSiioRr1
A sucking pig then took the floor. III is the opin-
ion,' said he, of many of my learned friends that
we should use our endeavors to convert the Gov
ernor and council INTO Jews; for them added he
with great iceIing-'COmcs the day Of deliver
ance for the swineish multitude. Under the Jewish
dispensalion, if the abomination of the Thanksgv-
ing were continued which very much doubt, it
would at least be attended with n prohibition of
pork, in all shapes on the day. propose, there
fore, To- bring forward Il motion for the CONVEX
sion of the aforementioned digni,ares, in the first
place, and the board of Boston Aldermen after
ward
AMI oyster, who had hitherto remained snug
and silent, now begged the indulgence of the as
scmbly. lie hoped to see something done for shell
fish. The cpicures of Thanksgiving Day had
grown so absorbingly greedy that the oyster-soupe
had become standing dish. The liberty of the
seas were no longer inyioaie. 1t was with the
deepest melancholy that he informed the assembly
he had from the best authority that the city at-
lhores had recently rescindcd an ordinance pro-
hibiling the sale of oysters during certain months
of the year. No day of the three hundred and
sixiy-fye, continued he with great emotion, is a
day of rest for us lie was proceeding at some
length, in the same strain, when he was called to
order by a Sleeps head, and reminded that he was
DEPRESSING. \ violent alteration ensued between
the two members. and several hard words passed
from one TO another. The oyster told the sheep $
head to give him none ofhis jaw; which the sheep
head reiorted by desiring the oyster to shut up his
chm.she
Order being at length restored, the Moderator
called upon the standing committee 10 report their
proceedings since the last anniversary meeting. a
gray goose, whom found TO he Chairman Of the
Committee, then rose and read report, stating
that since they had the honor of sitting upon this
important business, various circumstances had a.
risen to afford the most pleasing encouragenenis
to the prosecution of the great enterprise in hand
'Oflaie years, the report went on 10 say-'lhe
disorder, known by the name Of dyspepsy, had
increased TO so remarkable degree, as to cause
great alarm among all people, both i'll town and
country and the aforesaid complaint was well known
to be mainly caused by an over attachment 10 the
dinner table. They had therefore the pleasure of
IHuIIlIlH llC HIctlule hi'iO "N'o ho' phN
temperance societies without number in the land
but that meats as well as drinks, had now fallen
under the ban of the big-wigs, and that there had
actually been proposed, in the all-consuming city
of Boston, AN association entitled the Society for
the Suppression of Eating Most orerpoWering
hunderS ofoppiausc from erery part Of the ia
bel
The report having been read and accepted, and
the thanks ofihe meeting being presented 20 the
Committee for their merltorous services, the fol-
lowing resolutions were proposed and carried, nan
con.
Resolrei, Tha, Thanksgiving Day is a grev-
ance not to be borne.
Resoircd, That the Society for the suppression
of Eating, has our most sincere and hearty good
wishes for its success.
Resolred, That each and every member Of this
assembly, whether turkey fowl, duck, teal, widg-
con, coot. calls head, oyster, sucking pig lobster,
pudding. apple-dumpling crunberry-tart, min
ced pie custard, or cream-cake, pledge himself,
and themselves, jointly and severally, to proceed
forthwith, on the night of each Thanksgiving Day,
and sit with overpowering weight, like unto mill