The Middlebury people's press. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1841-1843, 1841-12-21
MISCELLANEOUS.
THE HOOSIER AND THE YANKEE.

We were greatly amused, not long since,at
a dialogue we heard between a Downeaster
and Hoosier from the west. They were re-
spectfully cracking up their own localities,
and running down their opponents.
At length saws The lioosier-
why, our land is so rich-why We never
seed any thing so tarnal rich in your life
why howd'ye suppose we made our candles,
ha?'
Don't know says the Yankee.
we dip 'em in the mud puddles,' says the
Hoosier.
Yes replied the Yankee, 'and | guess
there's so much mud in your diggins, that
there isn't many places where man couldn't
dip candles in the mud puddles. l have heard
OF a man travelling in your country all day
long, in the road where the mud was so deep
that you couldn't diskiver glimpse of his legs
for hours together.
well, now just tell us Mr.. Yankee, if it is
faoowhat they do say about the roughness
of the roads down east. They do say that
there are so many stones in the roads, and
that the wagons do jolt up and down so all
freddy, that the only way the people ever
grind out plaster of Paris, is by loading the
big pieces into wagon, and just driving at
moderate trot over one of your roads and that
a half a miles driving will make it into pow.
der.
There's no doubt but we can touch dry
land occasionally on our roads. But then if
there ara some stones in the road, the travel.
Ter is never waylaid, and blood taken by mus.
quetoes as big as oysters.
81 tell you what stranger, they du say that
there's hull counties down east, where the
stones are so thick that they have to sharpen
the sleeps noses so that they can get them in
between the rocks to cat grass. Indeed, |
once heard man who had travelled through
your country say, that he one day saw whole
field Of men and boys, each one holding a
sheep by the hind legs and letting her down
between the rocks to eat grass. In another
place he said he saw the farmers shooting the
grain in among the rocks so as to take root
and grow"
"Weil now, stranger, suppose you tell us
something about your own country, as you
arc the only man ever see from the west that
did'nl die of the fever and ager let's see if
you know as much about the west as YOU do
about the cast
swell, old Yankee, I'll just tell you about
it. If farmer in our country plants his land
Will COiH anu tdhtS HiSt Tdtc care OF IL, ne ii
get one hundred bushels to the acre; and if he
takes midling care of it he'll get seventy-fve
bushels to the ere; and if he don't plant at all
he'll get fifty.
The b. cts grow SO large that it takes three
yoke of oxen to pull up full sized one and
then it leaves hole so big that once knew a
family of five children who all tumbled into
beet hole once and THE earth caved in upon
them and they all persisted.
The trees grow SO large that once knew a
man who commenced cutting one down, and
when he had cut away on one side for about
ten days,he thought he'd Just take look round
the tree, and when he got round on tother side
he found man there who had been cutting at
it for three weeks-and they never heard one
another's axes.
Ihave heard tell, yet l somewhat doubt
that story, that the Ohio parsnips have some-
times grown clean through the earth and been
pulled through by the people on 'tother side"
/ "Wal, now," says the. Yankee, Il rather
guess as how you've told enough, stranger for
the present. How you like to trade for some
clocks to sell out westl"
Never use 'em-we keep time altogether
with pumpkin vines. You know they grow
Just five feet an hour, and that's an inch min.
ute. Don't use clocks at all. It's no use old
Yankee, we cant trade no how"
| The Yankee gave up beat and suddenly
cleared out