, 1841-09-18
A SCENE ON THE OHIO RIVER.

A facetious correspondent ef the Boston
Morning Post, travelling on the Ohio river,
thus describes a scene that "came off" on
board the steamer. It's not exactly fair 10
make woman. %"lovely woman" the butt o!
merriment; but the story is irresistible
"Upon looking around to see what chance
there was for amusement on our trip from
my fellow passengers was particularly
struck with the appearance Of an elderly la
dy, who seemed very i'll at ease. Every
time steam was allowed TO escape from the
boiler she appeared to fancy it the prelude
to a grand explosion, and was evidently in a
state of continual excitement. As she is to
be my heroine. | may as well attempt TO de-
scribe her, although shall hardly do her full
justice. She was one of the tallest women
ever saw, but the effect of her height was
taken away by her immense breadth. She
was one Of Mcdonald Clarke's style Of beau
t~ies--"with a waist like a cotton bag and n
foot like a founder" Never did [ see such
a moving mass Of flesh encircled BY a petit
coat. Oh! she was very fat. Upon inqui-
ry, ] learned that she had been a passenger
on the steam boat F., at the time il was
burned a few years before, and narrowly es-
capped with her life. Only a few weeks had
elapsed since the catastrophe Of the Ben.
Sherrod, by which some scors Of hapless
mortals were hurried into eternity through
the combined agency of fire and water
What wonder that the woman was alarmed
at the prospect Of a steamboat voyage!
After We left the landing. the principal to-
pic of conversation among the passengers
was the numerous accidents which had late
ly happened. Nearly eveiv person was e.
quiped with a life preserver. and some were
So cautious as to hang them up IN their ber,hs
filled with air and ready for use at q mo-
ment's warning Night came. and all were
snugly enscnnced in their births. when there
arose the cry Of fire! The wood on the bow
of the boat had caught fire. and was blazing
hercely up, SHINING through the glass doors
Of the social hall and the cabin windows IN
til the whole boa: seemed envel"ped in a
sheet # flame. In IN instant all was confu-
SION and alarm. Passengers tumbled out OF
their h"rrhs. aud over one another; some
bigga-e---ome for their w~ives--ihe wise
ones kept quiet. In the midst Of the hub
bub. the doors Of the ladies' cabin few wide
open and out burst our Fat lady, dressed all
in white. her face ga map whereon terror
was drawn in all its shapes" and around her
waist a huge life preserver. not inflated
Selling this by the nipple with both hands,
she rushed from one 10 another exclaiming
in a voice of agony, "blO~ M up, blow me
up! for Gods sake blur me up! will nobo.
cy GloU me up!!r Had the old lady actual
ly exploded. must have done as | did. roll
on the floor in a fit Of inextingu. siable laugh
ter, with half the witnesses Of the scene for
my companions. The boat was stopped, the
fire got under, and, not the least difficult ore.
ration, the fat ladv's alarm subdued. The
next day we landed her at her place Of DIES.
t%lnation. since which time ] have never seen
her, but the recollection Of the scene has
cost me many a fit Of the side ache"
We are indebted 10 our friends Of the Gin