Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1841-03-02

his large snuff box, and after he had travel
ed seven miles, and was approaching, al
most IN view Of the church, in which he
was to officate, the wind began 10 blow
full in his face, and when taking another
pinch Of snuff from his favorate box, In
order that the wind might not blow the
snuff into his ewes, he turned his back upon
the wind, dcpositing in high enjoyment, the
It'll lery matter into its elevated situation
But it was serious revolution TO him; Tor,
alas he forgot he had turned round, but
proceeded onward over the same ground,
never discovering his mistake till he came
within a few rods Of his own house, the
place from which he had, few hours be-
fore. started in order to preach. 1t was
too late for the worthy clergyman 10 think
Of retracng his steps, and walking the
course again, and the congregation was
allowed to remain, wondering what had
happened to their absent minister.
Il Good joke have heard first rate
joke about John Truman, late Of Athens,
Geo. He was stopping at tavern up
country, and used to lounge about the bar
and come it over other peoples liquor.
he would slyly slip uf and drink its con-
tents. One day a stage driver came in and
called for stiff horn of brady toddy.-
John Immediately shullled up 10 the bar.
The driver knew his man, and Immediate
ly played possum by leaving his brandy
while he stepped to the door. The bait took
on returning, he saw tho glass empty,
with all the diabolical horror he could ef-
fect
Brandy and opium enough 10 kill forty
men who drank that pizen %
81 - stammercd John, ready to yield up
the ghost with alright
"Iou're dead man." said the driver.
"What shall do?" bcseeched John, who
thought himself "gone sucker"
''Down with pint Of lamp OIL or your
dead man in three minutcs," answered
the wicked driver. And down went the
lamp oil, and up came the brandy and OBJ.
lam, with Johns breakfast. The Joke was
told, and he has never drank other peoples
liquor since.
Brazilian JuStice.-The following an
ecdotc was related to US by a friend, as ha.
wing occurred quite recently at Rio Jane.
iro. An American vessel in leaving the
harbor, ran into an English brig laden with
coffee, cut her down TO the waters edge,
and destroyed the cargo to the amount of
$4,000 dollars. The case was brought
before the court Of law. The consignee
of the American vessel perceived it was
going against her owners, us she was prov
FL 20 be TO the wndward, land CONSEQUENT
Fr-D 81 G. Al.
vessel to pass. He thereupon went to the
Judge and commenced abusing the legal
tribunals as being totally deficient in JUS
lice, and always giving cases TO the strong
est parties. The Judge replies, Z" How so?
you must be mistaken; we always decide
according 10 the nature Of the evidence. )"
mo-" says the consigncc, " for instance,
for instance the English carry the dav in
Rio, YOU dare not decide against their in
terests. Here's the case Of the English
brig, ever body knows that the American
will lose it. I'll bet you $4,000 he does"
" Done" says the Judge, $4,000 he don't
The honest Judge won the bet.
A learned clergyman in Maine, was
occosted in the following manner by an
iIIiterate preacher who despised education;
"Sir, you have been TO college suppose?''
AYES sir" was the reply. 81 am thank
iul reloined the former, " that the Lord
has opened my mouth 10 preach without
any learning" "A similar event." re-
r'od the latter, "took place in Balaam's
time, but such things are Of rare occur
rerce at tho present day"
a good woman called on DR.. b. one dav
in great trouble, and complained that her
son had swallowed a penny. "Prav ma
DAM" said the Doctor, "was il a coun-
'e'leit?' mo sir, certainly not" was
The reply. "Then il will pass of course
rejoined the faco;ious physician.
The neri PreSidencu--Thc Boston
Morning Post, seconded by other Journals
of like faith, proposes a National Demo
cratic Con. cntion,' TO assemble on the ID
day OF Aplil, lS43, being the one hun
drcth anniversary Of the Birth day Of
Thomas Jefferson, and celebrate the event
by nominating Democratic candidates
for next President and Vice President
The suggestion will very probably be car
ried into execution.
Earnings in State PrisonS.--The agent
of the Auburn State Prison reports the
amount of earnings for the year 1910 al
%59,2l4 Sc, being an increase of Sl,292
90 upon that for the year 1899. The con-
victs in the Mount Pleasant Prison. accor-
ding to the report of the agent, have earned
in 1910, S67,l9O 40, being Sl,294 10,
more than the receipts of the preceding
year,