New-York tribune., 1841-12-23
PLUTO AND THE DISEASES

OLD PtUTo lately call'd his clan
OfsgcH;s round him to mar.
TO know at once the reason Why
Tse Yankees take % long to die,
Qso.h he, " Aas there was q tine,
Ihey all came posting III their prime,
But now think the villains try
With old Methuselah TO VIC,
Since all they do is done with speed,
But dyinz fast to serve orr need
For IN their land of potion, cunning,
o. pushing, crushing, driving, dunnlne,
Upon my cOnsclcDce) 1t would seem,
All things but dying went by steam,
So nov they hardly recon psnse Us,
For making out III: yearly ceRsu,
Thus have called YOU III row,
The reason of this fact to show,
That We in,y plan some method clever,
To coax them here As fast ever,
And aelp our friends TO cut shine,
Who make sreatcoais of bit. of pine.
Sir Fevc-, you b-gia the stsry,
That Tobs your names OF half their glory.
Ny llege own with many sign,
can't persuade the rogues TO die,
bake and Jast, and fry, and stow th'z,
| pour hot lava through and through TEEN,
Aud of their heads with eager p1ius,
Hot ovens make to burn thur brains;
But all III vain. for Il, tank
To give fate his final pink,
a
Ard swallows with profound reliance,
dose of things called Peters Pills,
Which all my bubbl'0g lava chills,
And instant stops the work OF slaughter,
And leaves mis- blood - purS a water
Here grim Dyspepsia put his chlti H.
My hcga-my liege, the truth he's pat in,
For even my plans are oft demolished,
By that deccIver's arts polished;
choke the stomach-sour the chyIc,
Dstead the spleen, disturb the bllc,
And guard so well cacn leak and drain,
That all that enters mast remain.
Bat then when all is smooth aud nice,
TO sand my Job honc IN tree,
He takes those aa fsl Pills OF Pcurs,
a, rally as eas, of bticrs,
And all IVY agents. eft and right,
Are put 10 Instantaneous flight:
Indeed II sometimes make me laugh,
To see the rascals scampsrny of"
Now Palsy pale his voice intruded,
g. too. great Pluto, am included,
In the unfortunate diseases
This doctor srubs where or he peases;
take my man, and grpr his DO sels,
Though ,tee ,'d tine While IN smoking towels,
And shako hm rs the lit Increases,
Until you'd tank he'd fill to pieces;
Bu; when hope in earth to cram HIM,
In steps tina, Dr. Peters-a--n hIm,
And make, my patient, III a shock,
A. sound AMI steady O rock
" And H. quott Iaundice, = do my best
To kill but fail ike all the ret,
A. whea tho.e ris begin 10 play,
must be oil like yesterday,
70: soon ha cheers marked Tor doom.
Begin Ill any rose TO bloom"
Groan'd Collie" NJ complaints the same,
And / IN ios.nc all my fans;
Those Pills OF Peter. lH inclined
To .hink, pervade thc very wind,
For wheresoe'er 20 % work,
They fall spon me lise Turk
So-(all unequal to the striie,)
run away 10 save my life
Aud # the past were bound TO curse,
The f.tsre will be ten ums, WORSE
Fog by patented machine,
Watch Ia Gotham late ave seen,
He makes with ease, I've heard him say,
Five hundred Thousand pill, a day
So that the chance Is very small,
Ofpcope dying there at al
Here HcadacAe-Tapewor
AID Geut by isrns took up the question:
Then followed te- blue devils, whining,
With ScurYy, Acus = ID Plague rrpnins,
AZ tdat un lrIng sco-r=e OF AZ
By all men KNOWN a "PErss: Pulls.
THe ing Of terror, look q the while.
A. though hi, soul We. turned 20 hi'e;
Aat Po-red ten thousand oatki Of dread,
o ti.e de, oted Doctor head
Then thus addressed the gentle crew.
Sweet lewis, this - III never de
Your tyrant mu,;b tribed bv Death.
Or there's an end &c losiae breath,
Al least # he's abos .emptatou,
The ouiv Way TO save the nation,
l. By \ lEAee speculation
For instance, pay The rosuss. 20 pryine
50 May dollars each for dyIng,
Or, (WhIcb The eai 8. we'll fuIi!is.)
For SWEARING a~aiuS. pFrtu.' pff.L.s..
Up whirr'c at one. inst hungry pack
Win Death fresh mounted =; their back,
Al. shriskng Wild With hope ana Will,
For vensca-ce OF the gallant ri.l.
And hence Al! We who'd fam resort,
For cash III hands 10 Plutos cosrt.
Step forth At once. nor wait for thinking,
But take no pills, aad die like Tiukug.
But We WOOD laugh AZ Cole grin -
W nod shake old Gout from breast G: limb
WAod make slos Fever sap away,
A. nimhly = hunted Hes:
who'd drive no; He dache rom ysur noodle
Who'd max beth Spleen 81 ;:curyy toddle'
Who'd force Dull Care 10 'aks Trip;
Or give Old Death himself the slip.
Come enc, cone all, and have your wills.
BY PlTRcStsISG PETEK,' Pulls.
Peters principal Offices 459 Broadway, NcT-f OF
rth-Smth street, Philadelphia; ~ M.gsziae-sttc
Or cans dii sod-T
: & nAsa0GASX NARD, M. io- va
ngton street. adjoining the steam Saw MIL, IS Il
with = large aud generally we'll seasoned stock
sany Boards, PIanks and Joists; and 'sneers
holly, mahogany, maple black walnut. rose 40
tie lowest market prices. Builders, manriactsre
Tiers, viii dad It to their advantage to call hef'
aslng elsewhere. d. Inns
LED F0oEsCAP PAPER. IL
81.