Daily Richmond Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1840-1842, 1841-12-04

THE LAiRp OF LOGAN; or, Anecdotes and Tale
illustrative OF the Wit and Humor OF Scotland
This is collection of the floating facelic and IN
digcnous wit and humor of the western and north
western districts Of Scotland, forming a yolunl
which we would confidently recommend to some {
our friends recently removed from office by the la,
political changes, as an excellent recipe for me Ian
eholy, and therefore we'll adapted to meet thei
particular case. Retormers, who had no places q
losc n the temporary accession of the Tories
reason foe desDondency, and can afford TO bide hci
time. The Laird Of Logan" was the "Joc Miller
Of Scotland, and the late John Donald Carrick
who edited the first series of the work. and contri
buted many the anecdotes, himself first rat,
humorist. Our task Of criticism must DC confined
TO giving few specimens of the anecdotes contain
ed in the work
srELLIHG.
Logan had occasion one day to write a letter ia
presence of a school comp anion, who, in looking
over IL, expressed his surprise ut the singuarty OF
the photography. at is strange Logan" said he
"that you cannot manage to spell even the shortest
word correctly" Spell" cried the Laird with A
look Of well ieisned pettishness "mnn, what arc
you haverin' about look at that I" holding NJ the
stump of quill to him; "would ony man that kens
onything ubout spelling ever attempt to spell WI a
pen like that ~
DEFERRED.
"Go to bed, sir ia the closet there" said an en-
ragged father a son, who had given him Just cause
OF offence; "were 1t not that these gentleman are
present, would give you sound whipping, but
you shall have il before breakfast 10 morrow GER
tain" The little rebel went to his crib with a
heavy heart, and the enjoyments of the party con-
tnued until late hour. Just when the party was
about to break up, the closet door was quietly
pulled back, and the young offender put out his
head, requesting that the sentence might be put in
execution. Father would ye just gle me my liks
this night, for Gamma sleep without them 2"
The minister.
A venerable divine who, in his day and genera
ton, remarkable for his primitive and ahs,inent
mode OF life, at length Tell sick, and was visited by
n knd-hearted lady from neiShborng parish. on
her proposing TO make some beef.tea, he inquired
what II was and being informed, he promised to
drink il at his usual dinner hour. The soup was
accordingly made in the most approved manner, and
the lady went home, directing him to drink guam
tity every day until her return. This occurred a
few days afterwards, when the lady was surprised
10 see the beaf-tea almost undImnshed, and to
hear il denounced by the worthy clergyman as the
worst thing he had ever tasted. She determined to
try 1t herself and having heated a small quantity,
pronounced II excellent GAY, ay," qroth the d.
vine, ait may drink well enough that way, but try
II wi the sugar and cream, as did,
AN AUDIBLE WITNESS.
Some years ago, Lord WIS presiding at q
circuit trial 10 Glasgow, where several females were
in succession, examined Witnesses. Whether
it arose e. ON their unusual exposure in the witness
box, Ca sou structure in the centre OF the Court
Hail. elevated considerably above the foor,) from
fear OF their expressions being laughed at, or from
whatever cause tain it is, they spoke so maud.
bly, and midst nelly, that the jury, again and again,
complained anu ms iordship as often admonshed
them To speak ou'; hut notwithstanding repeated ad.
monIons they again and agaln resumed the under
tone I'LL reminded; on this account the patience
of the judge was most severely tried, and by the
time the examination was finished he was yisibly
suppressing great irritation. At this juncture there
approached through the crowd towards the witness
box, tall, stout fellow, with fusiian sleeved iacot
capacious corduroy ineXpressibe, blue rig and fur
.Iv,-a 49, s.u
Jackets, who, with paviour-like thumps, uamped up
the wooden steps into the box, laid his bonnet on
the seat, and sousing himself down on H. stared
about with seeming indifference, II he had had
thing more to do. This uncommon nonchaIan
his lordship eyed with surprise and having prompt.
ly ordered him TO stand up, and administered the
oath, he, with fearful scow and gruif manner, ad-
dressed him: "WitnesS, let tell you that my
brother (meaning the olher judge and have this
day been put 10 great trouble examining witness.
es who would not, or could not, speak above their
breath; now, sir, see You'Ge a strong young man
and being carter, as understand, and accustom-
ed speak out your horses, you can have sucf
apology and therefore let me tell you, once for oil
that If you speak not at the top OF your voice YOU
shall be sent down to Jail IN an instant" Ere thu
voley over, the witness, unconscious of wrong
by him to call for such threat, changed color, star
ed wildly around, hItched up the headbnnd OF hi
small clothes, aud betrayed such strange symptoms
that his lordship imputed them disreS pect or in
difference, called out, "Stlnd still, sr-mind VIVA
I've said TO you" This acted like Janeectric shocl
on the witness, for he instantly graSped the bar he
fore him, stood stock STILL gaping as petrihed. Hn
lordship then resumed his seat and called out Il
the witness, "Whars you name :" "Bauldy
MrLuckie,' instantly roared out in voice
more resembling the discharge oil piece of artillery
than the ordinary action of the vocal organs. The
Amusement was succeeded by burst Of rrepressi-
Die laughter from the audience, and the heightened
baWl Of Isl lence" by the macer while the effect
It on his ordshIp was SUCH that insijnctiyey drop.
ping the pen, capping both hands TO his ears anr
looking daggers at Baudy, he exclaimed, "Whar.
the meaning Of that, sr7" Bauldy, who thought
his lordship now meant 10 quarrel with him for not
pcaklng loud CROUCH, Immediately answered him
in the tone, 81 neyerspoke louder to the brues
IN my liie.n AperiCci explosion ofaUghter succeeded
which for time de6ed every effort of the macer
and the court TO get rCpresS his lordshp whose
kindness Of heart was well know n smiIingy oLSefv.
ed, "Surely you don't consider your brutcs sir;
you should know there's difference betwIKt roa
and speaking. Remember where you're standing.
sir" This mementO wrought on Bauldy prodi-
gIously; his bands cenched conelusvely the bar in
font; the pcrspratIOn broke in drops on his face:
eyes seemed fixed, and his whole frame fearuIy
nsiiated In vain were questions put 10 him frou
both sides Of the bar iruitless were eKpostulatons
threats; his answers all Of the non mi re.
eOTdo class except two, to which no importance
seemed attact ed by any one unless BauIdy, namely
-"IhDt he siaId w his mither IN the Brggaie,
and he kent she au.dsr than himsel," Seeing
therefore, that nothing further could be ELECTED from
Biudy, his ordshp, impuling j, to Bau.dy's wish
TO conceal the truth, in a suriy manner ordered him
20 get away. This operated like charm; BauIdy
and bonnet were instantly IN motion. His preci~
plate tramp down the narrow steps however, ended
rather ungracsiuly; for having trpped himself down
he came al length, on the top Of a man, whose rue
fol gestures and looks under the weight and desne-
rate grasp Of Baudy, found no consolation or apoI.
Ogy other than the convusIve laughter OF the audi.
ence, and the hasty remark OF Bnu'dy NJ s;riding
Rway-"Did ye e'er see sick Cankry buffer a. that7r
On getting outside the court BludyF mother and
some cronies we're overhead asking him how he had
come on. "Come on said he II thought the aud
buffer would have worried me; he said he would
send me down TO jail whaur stood, / lost my sight
and gHed clean dotted; ! WIS like to swaf but
held firm by the bank, for fear they might knocl
the boddow frae meath my iee', and send me below
IN an instant, as he said, yon's ma fun eva. Com,
ava, lads, my ihroars as dry as whistle, and ~,
me a dram to draik the dust"
NOT ~ TOME.
When those lids TO singing, called musical pitch
forks, were FIRST introduced, the precepl0r Of Car
mock parish, a few miles from Dunferm.fnc, though
he might not be the worse Of one, and accord 70 lis
ordered the Edinburgh carrier o bring over
The honest carrier, who never heard Of any otbe
pitchfotk but that used m the tarn yard purchase,
one at least ten feet long. II was late In the Sa,
turday evening before he came home, and as a mes
cage had been Left 10 bring II up Vhen he came d
church next day, he marched into the churchynu
teiore the bell fung, where the master Of song wa
standing amid group Of villages. "Awosl, John
here's the pitchork you wanted, but can tell you
! ne'er thought mucke o. your singing before, on,
I'm sair misia'en II yell sing ony better now"