The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1836-1851, 1841-10-13
MISCELLANEOUS.
From tie ". Y. Sunday Mcrcuryl
A SHORT PATENT SERMON,
BY DOW JR

BY DOW JR.
TExr.-Kill mans Family and he may brook it.
But keep your hands out of his brcechcs
pockct.-BYRoN.
MY DEAR HEAREEs-If you hav'nt yet
found it ont, it is time for you to know
thatI am the X-pounder Of any thing that
contains moral. \ stands for ten-there-
foreI am ten FOUNDER, which is just the
sort of gun ounced to keep various kinds
of devils from taking your hearts by
storm. Just fire me of once week, and
if the enemy are not obliged To stand back,
it win bebecause you don't give me ammu-
milton enough, to blaze away, as would,
o. raise great smoke, at least. There
is nothing now a-days, like raising smoke
to make folks believe you do something,
whether YOU do or not. You now and
then come across person who always
raises such smoke, that you might take
him to be a real volcano-a walking We
suvius-at short distance; but when you
come to examine him closely, he is moth
ing but a mere puff.ball. But what's the
odds! such fellow is sure to glide down
the path Of life as slick as whistle--and
that's what we are after all. Smoke, my
friends, deceives great many. The
British got pretty nicely sucked in, when
our Dutch granddaddies fell 10 smokin g
on The Battery, and concealed it beneath
the clouds of tobacco fume. saw a loaf
: er, one frosty morning last winter, smoke
a cigar three hours after the fire had gone
out-the steam of his own breath looked
so much like smoke that he didn't know
the difference. The fact is, when man
saws Il knew by the smoke" &c.you may
take it for granted that he don't know much
about the matter, any way.-But I've
smoked enough-let me dip into my dis
course.
NV text says that man can easier put
up with the murder of his whole family,
than to have another man thrust his thiev-
ing digi;s into his pocket-cause why!
Because his rhino lies there; and his fami-
ly might as we'll be manslaughtered at
once, as to die for the want Of that sub
stance of things hoped for, which, in
plain English is called moncy-flthy lncrc
the root Of all eril--but which, after
all, is the real stuff to patch up the coat of
poverty with--get grub-and procure for
us happiness, and all the necessaries,
comforts and luxuries of life. Blu, my
friends, you must 60 to work rightly and
honestly 10 get money, if you wish to en-
10Y it. Don't jamb your hand rashly into a
mans brceches' pocket, because you may
not get it out again without chafng some
of the skin off, Just wait patiently till
IFS forked over to you; and then you can
20 on spree at nobody's expense bu,
your own. Be pious-be moral-be in
observation-disclosures stick TO my church
and YOU never will lack the whcrewith tc
carry YOU comfortably over the mountains
Of such an Alpine existence asis allotted tc
man. Avoid avarice as you would the
;,ch--it blackballs the soul--ireezes up the
brooks of charity--putrilies all sympathy
and makes a man poor and desp;sed with
oil his riches: in short it leaves nothing oI
h;m bu. iacl q; and trowsers, stuffed with
yeral chaif ana chopped up straw-a regu
lar built scare-crow.--It is said the dew
lies down in the miser's chest. That's
trne as lis deylish-and when the ola mi