The Middlebury people's press. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1841-1843, 1841-12-14

1
ting reply to her question. But nv mou,I,
was IN flames. In vain rooled the burning
morsel hither and thither, rocking nv head
from side TO side, while my eyes, which invol.
UNFAIRLY had fixed on her,were straining from
their sockets. She regarded my grimaces, Of
| the cause of which believe she was ignorant,
with amazement and surprise, at which can
laugh nol1 when | think of IT.
You're sick, Sir 2 at length she gently, and
in an anxious tone inquired. could bear no
more. My mouth was fayed with the burning
mass, and smarting with intolerable pain so.
quietly abandoning the point, opened it to its
utmost, and out dropped the Internal firebrand
into my plate. Not the slightest tendency to
a smile.visibly ruffled the imperturbab!e polite
ness ofthe woman. She soothingly condoled
with my misfortune and then gradually led the
conversation to variety of topics till exer-
ting the magic influence that true poliieness
always exercises, | began even 10 forget my
own blunders. Gradually my checks burned
less painfully, and could even join in the con-
versation without the fear that every word
uttered shared the fate Of every actionI attemp-
ted. Ievsn ventured to hope, nay, to congrat-
ulatc myself, that the catalogue of my calami-
ties was completed for the day.
said Scion and he said wisely. The ides Of
March were not yet over. Before us stood
dish of csuliilower, nicely done in butter
This | naturally enough took for a custard-pud-
ding, which it sufficiently resembled. Unfor-
tunatelely, my vocabulary was not yet extern
sive enough TO embrace all the technlcalltics OF
the table and when my fair neighbor inquired
if was fond of chOufeur, verify took it to
! L Al. L
high was my penegyric Of it, that my plato
was soon beautifully laden with it. Alas ono
single mouthfUl was enough to dispel my allu-
sion. Would 10 Heaven that the choufuer
had vanished along with it But that remain
ed bodily and, almost as large ard as burning
as Vesuvlus, my heart died within mo. Asi,a-
med TO confess my mistake, though | could
almost as readily have swallowed an equal
quantity of soft soap, struggled manfully On
against the diabolical compounds. | endeav-
Ored to sap the mountains heap at its base, and
shutting my eyes and opening my mouth, to
IMMUNE large masses as | could without
! stopping TO taste it. But my stomach soon
began, intolligibly enough, to intimate It's in
tenton TO admit no more of this nauseOus srnn-
ger beReath its roof, if not even expelling that
which had already gained an unwelcome adj
mittance.
The seriousness of the task had underta-
ken and the resolution necessary to execute it,
had given an earnestness and rapdity to my
exertions, which appetite would not have inspir-
ed when my plate, having somehow got over
the edge of the table, upon my leaning forward,
tilted up and down slid the disgusting mass
into my lap. NV handkerchief, unable ia bear
so weighty load, bent under it in its turn,
and great portion of it was thus safely depos-
tied IN my hat. The plate instantly righted
itself, as raised my person and as glanced
my eye round the table, and saw that no ono
had noticed my disaster, | inwardy congratu-
lated myself that the nauseous deception was
so happily disposed of. Resolving not TO be
detected. | instantly rolled nv handkerchief
together with all its remaining contents, and
whipped it into my pocket.
The dinner table was at length deserted for
the drawing room, where coffee and hqneurs
were served round. Meantime, ! had sought
out what considered safe hiding place for
my hat, beneath chair in the dining room.
for dared not carry it longer in my hand
having first thrown a morsel ofpaper into the
crown, to hide the cauliiowcr from view. should
any one chance, in seeking for his own hat, to
look into mine.
On my return to the drawing room. chan
ced to be again seated by the lady. by whom I
had sat at dinner. Our conversation was nat
uraIly resumed and we were in the midst Of
animated discussion, when huge spider was
seen running, like race horse. up her arm.
Take it ofi-take it Off sho CALCULATED, in
a terrified tone.
| was always afraid of spiders so TO avoid
touching him with my hand, | caught my
handkerchief from my pocket. and clapped it
at once upon the miscreant, who was already
mounting over her temple with rapid strides.
Gracious heaven had forgotten the caul-
flower, which now lay plastered over her face
like an emollient poultice, fairly killing tho
spider, and binding an eye of the lady; while
little streamlets of soft butter glided down her
beautiful neck and bosom.
''.Non cieu! mon dieu ~ exclaimed the as-
tonished fair.
Mon dieu p was echoed from every mouth.
Have you cut your head inquired one.
mo, no the spider-the spider. The fei-
low has crushed the spider 49,,
What quantity of entraIls! CALCULATED an
astonished Frenchman, unconsclousiy to him.
self ~,
well might he be astonished. The spray
of the execrable vegetable had sPattered her
dress from head to foot. For myself. the mo.
ment the accident occurred, | had mechanical
Iy returned my handkerchief to my pocket
but its contents remained.
.What monster it must have beenr obscr.
we'd young lady, as she helped 10 relieve my
victim from her cruel situation. Il declare
should think he had been living on caulifio1-
err
At that moment, felt some one touch me;
and turning, saw my companion who had