Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1840-02-05
PArnIorIc PnErAnArIoss ron HnAlrH OFFICER.

Of together with all its dependencies. He is equal
ly celebrated for his wines and his wit; and but a
few days since he happened to meet Noah, near his
premises; the conversation turned alternately upon
politics, wines, small potatoes, and various other
matters, and at last upon the various appointments
and disappointments that had recently been made by
Governor Seward, but more partic ularly the dsap-
pointments.
Noah. It's sad thing, very sad thing, that the
native citizens of New York should thus be thrown
to the wall, or fobbed off with the crumbs, whilst
all the fat spoils are bestowed upon the Yankees.
They get every thing; my tribe and my friends get
nothing.
Gil Davis. Why, to what do you particularly al
lude!
Noah. Why, there were great many Offices that
great many of my friends and my tribe applied for,
but none of them got any thing There's the health
office, for instance, that applied for
Gil Davis You applied for!
Noah. Yes, for DR.. Townsend, and the Governor
has given it TO DR.. Doane.
Gil Davis. Well; and isn't it good appointment!
isn't Dr. Doane very capable of filling the Office!
Noah. Oh, not at all; not at all.
Gil Davis Why not!
Noah. Oh, why, he knows nothing about yellow
fever.
Gil Davis. Nothing about yellow fever? Oh, non
sense; suppose he knows much about it any
else.
Noah. Oh, no, he don't; nobody knows any thing
about yellow fever but DR.. Townsend
Gil Davis. DIR. Townsend! why, what does he
know about it more than any one else!
Noah. Oh, he's taken the most patriotic pains to
qualify himself for the situation of health officer,
and to make himself acquainted with yellow
fever.
Gil Davis. Patriotic pains how!
Noah. Why, he went to Havana purpose; he
attended every case, felt every case, in short he
went through every case
Gil Davis. The devil he did
Noah. Oh yes; and more than that. He actually
got into the skin of of the patients that died
there, and took the yellow fever in the regular
way in order to ascertain what a mans feelings
were under its influence.
Gil Davis. / wonder he didn't die in the regular
way his patients did. But you say he got into the
skin of one of them.
Noah That is, into their clothes, and so took
the fever, and thus periodically qualified himself to
act as Health Officer.
Gil Davis. Well, that's true patriotism. That
beats all that ever heard Of It's pity that, after
going there, undergoing all those suherngs, and
taking so much palms, that he should not be able to
~
situation. ] am Governor of Coney Island you
know, and have some appointments still left. I'll
make him Health Officer Of the grand quarantine
ground of Coney Island He's just the patriot that
| want, and he richly deserves an Office.
Here the conversation was broken off, by the in
terruption of a third person, or we presume that
Governor Gil Davis would have named several
other equally eminent and patriotic persons for APP
poiptments in his territory princpality Of Coney
Island. However, we will do that for him, and Gil
up some Of his Offices. Nor is there any thing so
very unreasonable in the idea after all. Coney
Island is BY no means contemplate place as it
has been supposed TO be. II has its squares and
crescents and places, and markets, and banks, and
courses, and venison shamblcs, and parks, and
custom house, and police Office, and assembly rooms
city halls, and all the necessary appendages of
fashion, folly and roguery, that go to make up great
cities and great countries.
II they have gin and whiskey Coney Island,
undoubtedly they will, they must have a measurer
general of the article; and, as there is no man
capable offulfIling the duties Of that Office Sandy
Welsh. we recommend Gov. Davis TO appoint him
forthwith. For the office Of surrogate Of Concy Island
we recommend Col. Webb. He has disposed of so
much property Of his own, that he is eminenty quail
fled look after and dispose Of that of others. AsCo-
ney Island abounds FISH, venson, and other choice
edibles. il must have Inspector general Of prov-
sions for this office, we recommend Col Stone !;
nobody can be well qualified as he is. He eat
and drink enough for any two men has eaten, per-
haps, more than any other man Of his age, and is,
therefore, cmiuently qualified by experience for that
Office. There vii he lyceum and lectures !;
and, as John D. Sergeant will be disappointed
by Governor Seward, and has about much
seIf-esteem a. would serve three moderate men,
we recommend Gov. Davis To appoint him Gene raj
Lecturer npon every topic known and discussed
under the sun. The office of Inspector of Pawn
brokers and Old Clothes Shops will just suit Noah
and he must have il. And the Island cannot be
expected 10 prosper without religion,we recommend
the Rev. David Hale for bishop there For Inspcc-
tor Of Wines there is one well qualified a.
Gov. Davis himself Should he take our advice, we
shall shortly have to issue something in shape and
substance like the following
APPOINTMENTS
by GovERSor Gin Dsrs, ef Consg Island Nv and vita TIC
eonssni II himself ond sni1ects
Bishop of Coney island Rev. David Hale.
Surrogate of do. tol Webb.
Inspector of Provisions. Col stone.
Inspector &c Gin. Rum. Brandy. &c. Sandy Welsh.
Lecture General John ~. rarEesni
Health Ofieer, DIR. Peter = Townsend.
o. rHr RIsr.-Rsscaliiy
On rnr FaLL.---Real estate.
L,noR Losr.-The British and Americans both