Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1840-04-24
PROFITABLE PATRONS.

that his time, service and money, should be
freely and eraiutously rendered to every
man and body Of men, who operate npon the
public mind We have been amused with
an instance ofthis fact. which we find re-
corded IN n country paper Alta meeting last
week IN Barnsiablr. the town voted that ne
report Of The School commillee, which was
read TO the mer,ing, "be printed inihe Barn
stable PATROL and Yarmouth Register, pro-
slded that those papers will publish il for
nothing"
Now we put it 10 any liberal.minded man
il the town Of Barnsiable might not with
quite MS much propriety and fairness, have
passed resolution 10 this effect:
Resolved, That we will. on Saturday
next dine on venison al The house of Major
Tompkins at the Bulls Head. pyoridcd, he
will charge us nothing for our dinners"--
Why is not one proposition quite as prepos-
ferrous and unjnsli6able as the o,her2
People should be dsabused of these erro-
ueous impressions,in regard 10 The eratuiious
employment oi,ypes. Composilors must be
paid Us well as cooks-paper makers as well
as butchers editors and publishers as well
as grocers and winters. And vel, from the
exactons often coolly made OF editors, one
would suppose that they we're quite willing
10 toll and spin for the benefit OF every body
except themselves.
Mr. Slick nvcntsa new washing mac hinc
and, wholly regardless time aud convent
ence. brings ii numbering into our editorial
adyius, and insists upon our devotiug an hour
or two to hearing his explanation Of the
principle" on which il works, and of ''the
reasons why" It mus. in few years, revolu-
liopize the world. abolish slavery. restore the
currency, and bring about the millennium.
We listen TO Mr.. Slick with "sad civility,"
and give longing gances at the door. At
last our visitor comes 10 the point.
"1fyou would give my washing machine
little puff Mr.. Editor you will be adyan-
cling the cause Of science"
! When, after he has swindled Us out of
an hour of precious time, we inform Mr..
Slick that we cannot advertise his invention
without being paid for itat the established rates
he pretends 10 look as,onished-s we are
not the man he took us for. and walks off
with his washing machine under his arm.
Scarcely have we resumed our pen. when
the Secretary ofihe Society for The Diffusion
Of Useless knowledge and the promotion Of
Every Thing" walks in, and desires US to
call attention to the grand meeting which is
TO be held al Hunlbug Hall, the neSl even
| ing. ,
You should leave your advertisement in
the publication Office Mr. Secretary"
"Oh bless you, sir do moi mean to adver-
tise. Il is public object you know--ands
you must find your reward, sir in the satis-
faction Of having done charitable action
forwarded our object, sir, which poster
ity"-
Stop Mr.. Snooks. Our time is precious.
We have all possible regard for that very re-
spectacle body, poslerily would not raise a
finger 10 help as. we must be absolved for
the present, from diverting our means from
immediate and more pressing claims"
Very singular remark, sir thought
an editor"--
"Yes sir, you thought that an editor, by
his vocation, was one whom you and every
other bore were privileged TO bait with i'm
punities, TO fleece Of time and impose upon
| by gratui,ous advertisements. MIR. Shocks
it will not do. Here is a communication
three columns long from the President OF the
Society. "for the relief Of indignant females"
which he tells us hewil aiior US 10 publish
measurable iavori Wonderful generosity
And here is a letter from Mr.. Pallet request
ing US to puff his new picture-from Mr.
Starr calling attention TO his benefit-irom--
| ElCHNtu SAVE tue uiuIk i--ffOHi W.T.. NFttH,
indignant because we did not notice his mann
moth po,atoe-and now, sir, here are you
with pleu for the Useless knowledge So
ciety. Why should you apply to us sir, for
charity any more than to Broadway mer-
chanl2"
"You amaze me. Mr.. Editor'--
"That was our intention, sir. Good morn
ing"
These rough hints, such as they are. we
respectfully dedicate to'al the Messrs Sticks
and Shocks, who may be in the vicinity of
these diggins" forgetting the select
men OF Barnstable.--Ne1 World.
Death from Poison Beech. Nafs-.How.
ard ManIey OF Carkson, about the 18th OF last
month 10 splitting wood found several quarts
OF beech nuts in hollow log They were
mixed with rotten wood, leaves. fire weed.
together with considerable water. The nuts
were sprouied, and thoroughly soaked. Mr..
Ms children washed them. and ate as many
oflhe nuts as they chose for a couple OF days
when all that had pariaken of them. were
seized with sickness at the stomach. and d.
arrhGa, A girl about years old died on
the second day from her attack A younger
boy has merely escaped with his life and all
Of the family that partook Of the nuts, have
suffered more or less The deeterious eff.
/ ects produced are supposed 10 have resul.