Litchfield enquirer., 1840-12-03

petticoats, and men dont.) It's quite mat I ter of taste, said he but as far as my expe- l rience goes, says the old man, am half inc clined to opiniOnate that widderS make the best wives. Havin' lost a husband, they know the slender tenure we have of life, and are apt tu be more considerate, more kind, and more tender than maids. At all events, there is euough in the idea to put them on equal tarns. guess it's six ot one and half d dozen of totller, not much to choose any way. But, whichever it be, you must prove :heir temper first, and their notions; see what sort of sisters and darters they make try-but, dear me how late it is, said he, a-lookin' at his watch, how late it is! l must go, for have d sick visitor. still visit my dear lost flock, as if they hadn't a.used me so III, Sam. l forgive them, all of 'em. don't harbor any hard thoughts agin' any of in my prayers, for our religion is religion of the heart, and not of the head, as political dissent is. Yes, l must go now; but I'll give you word of advice at parlin' my dear boy. Don't marry too poor gall, tor they are apt 10 think there IS no eend tO their husbands pass; ,,or tco rich gall, tor they are apt to re- mind one of t onpleasant sometimes; nor toogid- dy gaH for they neglect their taniLies; 'lor loo denaure one, for they are most apt t3 gire yo~ the dodge, race of and leGre you; nor One ot c different sect, for A breeds discord; nor sceak minded one, for children take GU their talents from their mother; nor c - O Lord says minister, how you skeer body! Where onder the sun will you find non-such like what you describe! There ain't actiily no such critters among women. I'll tell you, my son, said he, for I'd like afore die 10 see you well mated would. indeed I'll tell you, tho you talk to me sometimes as if didn't know nothin' of women. You think nobody can't know 'em but them as romP all their days with them as you do; but them, let me tell you, know the least, for they are only acquainted with the least deserv- ing. I'll gin you 0 gage to know 'em by that is almost invariable. universal, infal- lible. The character and conduct of the mother is sure and certain guarantee for that cf the darter."
 An Orator used up.-' Teller citizens,' ex- claimed an independent orator on Tuesday night, about twelve o'clock, while he held on to lamp post with one arm, and dashed the air with the other. Heller citizens! !- Pm the man vot stands up (when Pm not drunk) for individual rights! Hurrah for our side! it's no use of arguing the question, friends and feller citizens-I'm as dry as blaZes, and havn't taken horn for the last five minutes. Down with ab-b-b -bolitioniSm and temperance societies! them's my senti- ments, and I'm likewise friendly to universal suferings. Go it, roarers and busters!
 Hereupon the tremendous outpourng ot eloquence became so overpowering, that he forsook his best friend, the lamp post, and made lurch into the gutter. I'm in for it, continued he, 'to your tents, oh Israel flHs, 1ac 1inlr sc hrolyon nd Pm Q SICk. l CT. Friends and feller-citizens, dye see them stars wot blinks in the blue heavens? Sooner should they fly from their e-ethereal spears than from my position have taken in this affair! I'm for free expression of sentiment, and no gag law-hurrah for me them'S my sentiments!
 Look here, mister,' said the watch, inter- rupting the strain of pure and unadulterated patriotism, though you have no audience but myself. you appear to be well backed- and speak in Q gutier-el tone. Why, man, you can't stand up for your cause.'
 Do you mean to doubt my p-p-patriot- ism, mister?' asked the orator, making a motion to take the floor erect, Do you mean to insinerwate that can't support my argu- ments nor myself either? Friends and fel- Ter citizens-I guy in my vote like man went the whole figure. Listen to the WVlCC Oh u0 pdtStOS "AO AOuSutS UlCO 0uu died for-look here, mster-is there any It. quor shop any where within . reasonable 
 Yes, there's one very short distance off, where you will be provided for
 'Wh-wh-what's the name!'
 'The Pilgrims retreat.'
 Plenty of good liquors there?'
 'Oh, yes, plenty of good lickers.'
 Well, Ill go-prowided you stand by me. But stop, let mo make my last dying speech and confession to the universe. Friends and feller-cilizcns !-I thank you for your kind attendance; wcighty business calls me away Pm whole soul'd feller-and ready 1 to meet my an-a-a-tagonist, whenever he's ready. Whoop, boys-O. K.'
 Here the Orator bowed, and placed him. self under the charge of the sef-nominated of one-the Charlie, who slowed him away amongst the odds and ends of the watch house.-B Baltimore Clipper.
 Trying Gn Erperiment.-James Bolton fig ured yesterday among the prisoners. He was dressed in full suit of domestic cloth, and had "honesty" written legibly on his forehead.
 Belton," said the Recorder, "you were found drunk on the Levee last night"
 "I knock under squire," said Belton.
 "lt was twelve o'clock, :" said the Recorder.
 "And no mistake" said Belton.
 "You had $S26 in money about you," said lhe Recorder.
 "That's the amount to Q cent" said Bel ton.
 "Why did you get drunk. having so much money tn your possession! 2" asked the Re- corder.
 "Because, squire," said Beltcn, "T'm just come from Illinois. heard much about