The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1840-12-24
CRACKERIsMs;
A SKETCH OF FLORIDA SERVICE.

| conceptions of human nature, especially OF the
ludicrous, IL is "a task OF no ordinary nature TO
deneate them with fidelity and effect for the
amusement or instruction of the thorough going
world. once had the pleasure TO know a sweet
little French gentlewoman, whose perceptions
OF humanity, especially the humorous portions
of 1t, were keen and sensible beyond measure.
| Not only could she perceive the mannerlsms OF
people, but when you CHANGED TO be III her com
pany, il should go hard but you were compelled
to laugh, noens volens. Whether or not she
was able To paint or describe her comical con-
cepnons could never learn, but most heartily
wish she could be witness to some of the few
'crackerlsins" daily perpetrated in our journey
lngs over the sandy plains OF --. .Pray
what would you mean by Crackerismn Crack
ers are of several kinds Boston Crackers
were the delight of our juvenile days, when
oysters were excellent taken from the chaiing
dish "Soda Crackers are the solacc Of the in
valid and the toothless ..Ginger Crackers are
more pleasant to the tongue Of the school-boy,
than sin to the man of the world ON" Crack
erisnisn are not manufactures of paste. There
are ''mountain crackers wide description of
life on Gro nest, by Simon Crowell,) there
"Western crackers" and there are------ -
| ..Crackers," of whose ''crdckerism" we propose
to speak. The Lexicon says, "Cracker,-a hard
biscuit; barbarous wagner from the interior
of the southern States
/ On the Goth we arrived at Fort -. Not
long after we had pitched out tents, in the man
ner of the lsraetes during their wanderngs
through the wilderness, we were waited on by
| Squire ----, most notable specimen OF
.--- cracker
"Gentle-men," said he, with most peculiar
emphasis on the ultimate, ~ understand you
perpose disbanding the bridge across the rivyer
at this place am sorry 10 hear this, for that
thar bridge cost an main deal of labor. ! seed
the men when they was buildin' ont, and
reckin if this station is broken up, and the dod-
burned vermints allowed to break onto us, and
dsband that thar bridge, it'll take considerable
length of time to put her up aginw
''The station will not be altogether broken up,
Mr. III. A few men will be left here, although
with ordinary vigilance the inhabitants might
eat every Indian who made his appearance
within ten miles of this place"
"Why, gentlemen, don't know dod ever
lastinly dod-durn thar yallar hides, they are
most deceptous set of critters they are most
interruptions when you ant looking for them.
Didn't they come right spang up 10 Jeph Jones
place. and shoot him from his plough handle
Dod-drat thar skins ! didn't seren Of 'em come
to my house Just afore the break of day-when
we was all asleep, and didn't the blue pills fly
| through the chlnks OF my cabin, right smart
reckin they did Jest soon as | could fairly
understand the natur' OF the case, picked up
my old shootin-iron, and bazed in among the
bloody villyans, and kept the whole eight at a
| reasonable distance until | could get help"
~ on must have had very warm time OF IT,"
81 reckin | did. | should like to move out
onto my place, and make some homny if could
| be sure the burned critters wouldn't prove sa-
vagrouso >'
''Where is your place r.
| OTIS Jest about seven miles from this on the
road TO -, moDstrous good chance OF
place it is too--only just alongside of my largest
| and hapf fall Is han n m
da,. -ge-rous precoronsi (hammock,) in the
whole country. 1t has always been good hdn
place for the blasted varmen, dod evengeiully
burn their yallar skins
81 do not think the Indians will trouble any of
the inhabitants after the posts now IN contem
plation are established have never known
country so well protected this will be, in the
course of a month or six weeks.
81 tell you, gentlemen, they are the most de
ceptious and interruptions people on the face OF
the yearth They come onto you when you
ant expectin on EN-. The first year OF the war,
my brother Jess, away up IN ------ county, was a
ploughin' in his field little off from the settle
ments, and his son layin alongside the
fence with his shootnron a-lookin out FOR the
| Indians; for ten chances to one, said Jess, the
dod blasted varmin may crawl on to a Teller as
they did on Jeph Jones, and slam away at him
while he's ploughn Wall, my nephew was
alayin alongside the fence, jest on the aydge OF
| a pretty considerable preCcoron, when he seed
three OF the blasted critters workin along from
tree to tree up towards the old man who was
whistn away at his plough Essentlously
dod-durn my sinnlfcant skin" says the boy when
he seed them, If you don't drap them there
utensils (rhes) I'll make you faint ~ No sooner
said than done-spang went the boys iron, and
down went one Indian-sgudt, was the word
with the other two--they didn't know whar the
pill came from that settled their leader! Whoop!
yelled the boy! Halo says Jess, what's the
matter Narmint says the boy, who had load
ened his iron again, whar? says Jess-W har!
says the boy, and eli he went orer the bushes
like deer to see what the two squattn varmin
was adoin on Would you believe it, gentle
men-in that excessire short time they had
crdrled ciedn out of sight you could see
,rhar their trail was-and whdr they had drag
ged the dead varmint-Jess and the boy follow
ed them Just to the dydge of large precoror,-
but they are such dcceptious set you can't
place no manner Of dependence on em."
"Vcry true, Squire, Indians have been always
considered very ferocous and cruel people.
| Their nature prompts them to such deeds as you
have related. What we look upon as courage,
they view as cowardice cunning is
more honorable in their estimation, than the
most exalted magnanlmity."
II know it gentle men, dod blast 'em, ought
10 know 'em. The way they cut Ieke Billins
family Just on the eydge of the Ekonoyarf scrub
was truly iudicrous! You've hearn tell OF that
massac1'y, havn't you gentle-men?"
Well, you see, Zeke Bilns lived on place
lest on the road TO -. which passes close to
andre Of the Ekonoyar! Zeke had some bust
ness to do in the cup countrv,"t just afore the
varmin broke loose; and he left his family on
his place, never suSpicionen that he shouldn't
see any on 'em again There was his wife,
four children, and three niggers. Wall. Iekc
goes off, To the ''up country" fixes his business.