Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1840-09-25
THE UNLUCKY GIFT.

Patrick Mullaly was fine old man, who
had, for some political reason or another,
emigra,cd from the County of Tippcrary in
the days Of his youth, and in the evening of
his age vast be found working as hedgcr
in the noighborhood Of LciAlip. Patrick was
worry clever hand at a story, and whenever
wake was going on he was not only sure of
being invited, but also certain Of getting the
hottest, and the strongest glass Of punch that
was handed round TO the mourners. 1t was
at the early hour Of two in the morning, upon
one Of these melancholy and merry occasions,
when the girls were tired of torfci,s, and the
boys Of rcdecming them with kisses, that old
Pa. was called upon for story, and nog-
ging Of whiskcy made into the sweetest of
punch, was promised him he would tell the
company something which not one amongst
them had ever heard before.
This was request which puzzled Paddy
for some time; but after taking off his old
fax wig, rubbing his polished pate two or
three times with blazing scarlet pockethand-
kcrctict he called for sup by way of car
nest, and then commenced his story in the
following manner:
"Boys and girls, | wish your very good
hcallhs, entirely, rntircly-l wish your good
health all round, from wall to wall, and an
inch in the wall besides. for fear I'd leave
any of you out. | will now tell you a story
which never told you before, and the reason
did not mention it to you is, that it never
occurred to myself, and therefore could
not answer for the truth oft; but it happen-
ed to an old grand uncle of mine, one Dem
MS Mullaly, who l heard tell it at a bonfire
in Thurlcs, thrt we had one night by reason
Of some decent body being married, person
put ont of the way, mag islratc hanged,
protor shot, or some other reasonable cause
ofrejoicing. My grand uncle was lite pa
ralytic in the right hand you see, and he was
not what you would call right in his head
but for all that he'd know bad shilling from
silver testcr,as well as the best Of us. Some
body or another at the bonfire asked the
old man how he lost the use of his right hand
and this is what he told us.
81 was, says he, as foolish in my days as
the best of you, and amongst my fooleries |
fell in love with one Judy M'Dcrmott, who
lived within tour fields of my cabin. Judy
wasa decent, comcly, handsome, mighty well
looking girl, bat as poor as a church.
and to make the matter worse, was a great
deal poorer. was up to my head and cars
in love with her, and I'd have given all the
world to be able to marry her.
cat that present time, when | was in love,
] was sitting one day on the fairy-moat out
side of the town, and thinking to myself, Oh
then, ifone of the good people who goes
hopping about this moat, when the moon
shines, were to see my dissoiute condition,
and one animal amongst them has in their
bits Of bodies heart as big as black berry,
| think he would be after lending me his purse
that's as full of yellow gold as beehive is
of sweet honey. ] thought this, and the not
a world in the word had | said when ! heard
a hammer rapping at the sole of my shoe, as
loud and as big as Lady Cahcr's coaclman
raps at the Doctors door.
"What in the world is this" says /, chat
il would be troubling my footl"
"lts l." said voice as large as giants
coming from under my shoe, sand if YOU
don't be after taking your nasty spamdoguo
of foot of the anl-holc | am trying to get
cut of, may be it would be worse for YOU"
81 beg your honor's PARDON" answered |,
removing my foot to another part Of the field,
and taking my ha. off my head, at the same
time. What do you think should see COM
ing out ola hole in the grass that you could
hardly run your finger into, buta little wecny
docny, dawny bit of a creature of an atomy
of an idea of small taste of a gentleman,
about the thickness and length OF a middle
sized radish, and having red three-cockcd
hat, red Goa. and gold epauletts on him like
All officer, red broechcs, and pair of red
boots like a jeck-daw. u had my spade stick