Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1840-10-30
From the New York American.
CHANCES AT MEN AND THINGS.
LoNroN, Sept. 1910.

hard pressed uponby "A diney John Bull from
the engine room, with a box in his, evil
your honor please to give little something
to buy ale for the rcmcn 7" The steamer
has advertised to land you con the stairs at
London bridge" She stops her engine in
the middle ofthc Thames, halfa mile below.
A swarm " whcrrics, who understand the
rusc, are alongside. You employ one for
Il crown to take you TO shore. After being
nearly run down by half a dozen steamers,
darling by you like the shuttle ola power
loom,;you touch the bank, hand the boaman
his crown, and leap ashore. A ragged ur-
chin lying in the bow of the wlicrry, whom
you had not discovered before, lands with
You, and seizing your coat, says, "Plcasc,
sir, remember the boy what com'd with you,
and brought your carpet wag ashore One
would not care for the amount paid in these
cascs-but, it is IA vexalious nuisance TO be
assaulted thus, atevcry turn, and never know
when you have got through the gauntlet of
mcndicily.
A horde of mcnlicants, (nlias, guidcs) arc
always lettering about the public grounds and
buildings, ready to practice upon strangers.
We had entered the gate W ndsor Castle, and
were proceeding towards ST. Georges Cha
pei, whcna sharkish looking fellow, ('a real
casey ran after us, and nearly GREATNESS,
s,ammcrcd out, "Can be useful to you,
gcntlcmcn!" Without waiting for a reply,
he began detailing to us how many square
feet the terrace containcd-thc number Of
'ounds in her ma iosy's pack-poincd to the
door of the Royal S,ablcs-with other intor-
nation equally import. We endured tho
bore, thinking he might "bc usotul'' to us
in the chapel. When about to enter, he
bowed politely, saying, "l GOES no further
3 with yon." We offered hima shilling, which
II he declined, adding, 81 always has Il half
. crown for showing tho terrace where her Ma
e iesty and Prince ll'Alhcrt promcnadcs, and
$ the stables where tho Royal 'osscs is" Guides
h. arc great pests. The only rcdccnnc feature
=. in the system is they furnish food for mcr-
il rimcnt, and are targets for ridiculc They
:. possess really no information concerning the
! things they attempt to describe. When our
y conductor through the Tower of London
pointed to the block on which Lady Jane
Grey was hchcadcd, tested him by asking
: who Lady Jane was, when she was bchrad-
Il ed, and for what offence. Casting a stupid
y stare at me, he said he did not know the par
d ,icuars. Tic block, with the cleft Of the
It horrd axe upon it, knew rs much Of the
: transaction as the rcd-coaicd bock!icad who
s pretended to relate its history. The young
= woman who exhibits the crown jewels, rctals
= her poll-parrot Grafton in tones OF nasal me-
. Iody, s.rikngly luIcrous. Wishing to see
whether she really knew what she was recit-
ing, inquired "what crown is that 7" point
ing to one she had said WAS used Il, the coro-
nation of Elizabeth. She began at the COM
> mcnccmcnt of her sing-song and chauntcd it
D through again, word, as before, merely adj
ding tor'issimo ,wang as she slid over the
passacc relating to the crown. thanked
u her, and asked "A question about the goldcd
It sccptrc. Again she W mt through the entire
rccilativc without alteration, except that she
' dila,cd her nostril a little by way Of emphasis
" v as she gIidcd past the sccptrc.
u 1t is hardly possible to visit any spot in
I England wihou. beng lit upon and anocycd
by a swarm Of these pests. On repairing to
u the Church at Stralford, where Shakespeare
= is buried, we found it open and number OF
e WORKINGS engaged in mo3Crni=ing tie intc-
rior. We had no guide. After examining
c the interesting monuments, We retired, not
J. more rcgrctting the sarrilegc that was being
i committed on this consccratcd place, than
IS wondering We had been able to visit one spot
y in England without bcin. obliged to pay
l. some ol!icious ntcrmcddcr for disturbing ouI
reflection with lis stale n,nScnsr. We had
scarcely given expression to cur regrets and
l. wondcrngs when tall, raw-honcd follow
10 with nose gliltcting with carhunclcs, APP
preached, and touching his cap, said
"Plcasc, sir, to remember the workmcn in
NJ the Church. We wants Little money tc
\, buy us some liquor" This was little NOR,
,g we could bear. Besides bclng tcctolalerS
a we were indignant at the outrage he and hi
+ co-workcrs were pcrpctraling on the vcnr-
nj rahlc structure and we gave him soarcnir
which he wi "rcmnmhcr" fora month.
All the begging in England is not quite Sc
"A vcxatious. The quid pro qno--thc law o
81 equivalent, prevails to some extent. Go %
. pleasant morning to a coach Office IN Dsll-
opSgatc street, and get banked for Brighton
il you would be amused by horde of qui,
pro quo mcndican,s. The elegant vehicle
: top The trim horScs-bcau,tul bayS-arc
paving the earth, eager for the fray tn,
-, head Of each dnckcd with boquct of arli,
= Gcal flowers. The coachman is waiting fol
Times sentinel ON St. Paul's to toll nine
I lie is the first gentleman on the pave. Sec
II him, with wiskcrs Of formal cut and hail
ri auntily curlcl, dressed in supcrGnc coat
re satin vest, and marSclcs pants Ills hat i,
as neat as IA mo!c--a prolusion of gold chain,
decks his bosom, and his dainty boots Dies.
plsc the ground they tread on.
10 As he pulls on his white kids with the d.
&c entity of young lord just come of age, he
i eyes his coach and team with an air of self,
'g graduation Which convinccs the passenger
that he regards the establishment AS abov,
I'd criticism. The vacant outside seats are ra
til pidly filling up. The Jcvs-not the PILLS
lincs--now set upon us. "Buy watch
~ guard" says ayoung Israclte, climbing the
wheel had thrusting bunch in your face
ia SONY hripence-thripcncc -thrpenco d'
1t buy one-quite chcap!" "Wanta dog-colla
to tic your terrier h'up with, Sir!' shouts
an A hr,