Jeffersonian Republican. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1840-1853, 1840-04-03

lloSt HaluIdl OtItSES Suggesting iIidt IL meant
Bartholomew, Basil, Bernard or Barnabas-
One man---we acknowledge that he had always
been considered the greatest fool in Thebes-
opiEed that the name might be Benedict; but
this absurd conjecture was Indignantly secuted
by his hearers, who unanimously declared that
10 American could possibly bear a name that
had been dsgraced by the traitor Arnold.
In few days, it being supposed that Mr..
and Mrs. Morrison must be quite settled in their
new domicile, the Thebans thought it time to
call upon them. The first visitors were their
nearly opposite neig ghbors, Mr.. and Mrs. Elliot,
the clergyman and his wife; the next were the
ladies that lived next door on each side; and
all the rest followed suit Immediately: so that
long before the next weekly meeting of the Pc
! len Society, all its members were competent,
! from personal observation, to compare notes a.
bout the new residents. The substance of the
reports was that the house was handsomely fur
nished, though neither Mrs Brown nor Mrs.
| Green liked the patterns OF the carpets; and
and that the age OF the lady was somewhat be-
tween twenty and thirty but all agreed that
she was considerable younger than the hus-
band Ii was generally concluded that, on her
part, the marriage must have been merceG3ry
one, except by Miss Hoonshine, who adhered
to her theory that it had been runaway match;
but she explained the anomolY of eloping
with gentleman much older than herself,
by the probable conjecture tnlt she had only
done so TO avoid the horrors of a union with
man still older, and in every respect worse,
whom no doubt her hinty- hearted parents had
selected for her-very likely an old ia: fellow
with a real wig and the gout in both feet
Now" said Miss Parchment, not
sure that Mrs Morrison-is so very young her
self doubt if there are many years differ
ence between her age and her husbands.
observed when called upon her the other day,
that she took care to Sit with her back to the
light"
"Whatever NAV be their ages" said Mrs.
Pettyfact, g can't believe thay they are peo-
pie of general knowledge, or who had seen
much of the world The day l visired them,
Mr. Morrison said something about the inlrab-
itants of Thebes,' instead of calling us the
Thebans, as he ought to have DONE 1t is as
tonishing what ignorance and what rudeness
there is in the world. Once, when | was on
visit to my uncle Krips Vanblunk of Troy, ac-
tually heard a Philadelphian talk to him of the
Troy people, instead of saying the Trojans.
as was right and proper. Could any thing have
been more disrespectful! Uncle Vunblunk
was quite afronted, as he had to be-he that
was ono of the very Oldest Of Trojans :"
Mr.. and Hrs. Morrison continued to be the
objects of constant speculation to the Thebans,
who gossipped over every thing concern
ing them, TIL they made mountains out of
mole-hills. What was first mentioned as
conjecture was repeated fact, each report
being like a SNOWFALL, that gathers additional
snow as it rolls along. Still, every body visit
ed the Morrisons, and various and contradictO-
ry were the opinions expressed of them while
those two little important words, C il" and but
were in perpetual requisitiOn whenever they
were talked Of Theirs was apt illustration
of the position in which strangers frequently
find themselves In dull village.
Old Judge Heavyhead, whose costume was
never very recherche and who, when the court
was not sitting, spent most of his time in going
from house to house to get people TO play chess
with him called one morning on Mr.. Morrison,
for that purpose. As it happened the door was
opened In the absence of a man by a very SIM
pie country girl, called Becky, whom Mrs. Nor
rison, had recently hired as an assistant wait
er, and was yet a stranger to the Thebans. On
Judge Heavyhead inquiring for Mr.. Morrison
he girl replied he had gone down TO, he city,
"ls Mrs Morrison at home :" said the Judge
thinking he might have some chance Of play
ng chess with her.
Are you Mr.. Smith 2? asked the girl
"No; | am Judge Heavyhead."
Then, answered Becky, :. | cant let you In:
or Mrs. Morrison is engaged this morning.
She axed me to say them very words. And
he told me she could not see any body but Mt.
smith She has been expecting him these two
lours, and won't have nobody let in but HIM |
uess you will have to go away"
Judge Heavyhead went away bat the dia-
ogue had been overheard by mrs Brown and
rs Green, who were passing at the time arm
arm and who loitered and fingered near the
distinguish what was said,
In the course of tbs morning all Thebes was
live with the rumOr that Mr morrison having
one on along journey about some important
nsiness, his wife had taken advantage of his
Osence, and made appointment with Mr.
only doubt was what MI Smith it
Ould be.---Some said it was Hopestill Smith,
lat occupied front closet in mrs. Poorstocks
oarding- house, andwho, while waiting for eli