The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1840-11-17

tage over London. The Seine is muddy rivu-
LEI IN comparison with the Thames the West
End OF London surpasses the finest parts of the
French Capital and on some ones observing
that there was very thick fog out Of doors,
''Pishp said he crusiily, ''it's nothing 10 the
fogs we have in Londonm
lie has infinite trouble in bringing his table
into any thing like conformity to English rule.
With his liquors, il is true, he is toleraby sue
cessful. he procures London Porter, and a
stock OF Port and Sherry, at considerable ex-
pense; for he observes that he cannot stand those
cursed thin French wines; they dilute his blood
so much as TO give him the rheumatism. AS to
their white wines, he stigmatZes them as mere
substitutes for cider; and as TO Claret why sit
would be Port if il could" He has continued
quarrels with his French cook, whom he renders
wretched by insisting on his conforming to Mrs.
Glass Tor II IS easier 10 convert a Frenchman
from his religion than his cookery. The poor
fellow, by dint of repeated efforts, once brought
himself TO serve up bif sufficiently raw to suit
what he considered the cannibal taste of his
master; but then he could not refrain, at the last
moment adding some exquisite sauce that put
the old gentleman in fury.
lie detests wood fires, and has procured a
quantity of coal; but not having crate. he is
obliged 10 burn it on the hearth. Here he sits,
poking and stirring the fire with one end Of a
tongs, while the room is as murky as a smithy,
railing al French chimneys, French masons and
French Misunderstanding poke at the end of
every sentence as though he was stirring up the
very bowels of the delinquents he is anathmati-
zing. lie lives in a state militant with mani
mate objects around him-gets into high dud-
gecns with doors and easements because they
will not come under English law, and has inn
placable ieuds with sundry refractory pieces Of
furniture. Among these is one in particular,
with which he is sure to have high quarrel eve
ry time he goes TO dress. Its a con,mode-one
Of these smooth, polished, plausible pieces OF
French furniture, that have the perversity Of five
hundred devils. Each drawer has a will Of its
own; will open or not, just as the within takes it,
and sets lock and key at defiance. Sometimes a
drawer will refuse to yield to either persuasion
or force and will part with both handles rather
than yield; another will come out in the most coy
and coquetsh manner imaginable, elbowing
along, zig gag, one corner retreatng as the other
advances making thousand difficulties and OBJ
Jectons at every move, until the old gentleman,
out OF all patience, gives sudden jerk, and
brings drawer and contents into the middle of
the floor His hostility to this unlucky piece OF
furniture increases every day, as if incensed that
il does not grow better. He is like the fretful
invalid, who cursed his bed, that the longer he
lay, the harder il grew. The only benefit he has
derived from the quarrel is that it has furnished
him vie. cr"siy Joke, which he utters on all oc-
caslons. lie swears that rrenvi. ~e.,.,n.le 4
the most incoD,na0dious thing in existence, and
that although the nation cannot make joint-stoo
that will stand steady, vet they are always talk
ing of every things being perfectione
His servants understand his humor, and avail
themselves Of it. He was one day disturbed by
pertinacious rafting and shaking at one of the
doors, and drawled out in angry tone to know the
cause of the disturbance. Sir said the foot
man, testify, it's this COMPOUNDED French lock!'
'Ahp said the old gentleman, pacifed by this hit
at.the nation, Il thought there was something
French al the bottom of it.'