Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1840-11-26
THE ENGLlsHMAN AT PARIS.

THE EN6LGsHMAN AT PARIS.
| In another part OF the hotel. handsome suite OF
rooms is occurred by an old English gentleman OF
great probity, some understanding, and very con
siderable crustness who has come to France to live
| economically. He has very fair property, but
! his Wife being of that blessed kind compared ~
Scripture 10 the fruitful yine has overwhelmed him
with family OF buxom daug hiers, who hang cust-
ering about him. ready 10 be gathered by any hand.
| He is seldom to be seen in public, without one
hanging on each arm, and smiling on ail the world,
| vhilo his own mouth is drawn down at each corner
| like a mastH's, with internal growing at every
| thing about him He adhcres rigidly to English
fashion in dress and trudgos about IN long CATERS
and broad .brimmea hat; while his daughters AZ.
most over shadow him with feathers, flowers, and
| French bonnets.
He contrives TO keep up an atmosphere OF En-
rlsh habits, opinions and prejndlces, and to carry
semblnnce oil London into the very heart OF PARIS
His mornings are spent a, Gdlignan's hews-room,
where he forms OF knot oil lnyeterate quld-
nuncs who read the same articles over dozen
times in dozen different papers. lie generally
dimes in company with some OF his own country
men, and they have what 10 called "comsortable
sitting" after dinner in the English fashion, drink
ing wine discussing the news OF the London papers
and canvassng the French character, the French
metropolis and the French Revolution, ending with
a unanimous admission of English courage, English
morality, English cookery, English wealth, the
magnitude of London, and the ingrattude OF the
French.
His evenings are chiefly spent at club Of his
country men, where the London papers are taken.
Sometimes his daugh eDtice him to the theatre
but not often. He abuses French Tragedy ms all
fiIstian and bombast, Tema as y ranter, and Ouch
esnois az a mere termagant. IL is true his ear Is
not sufficiently familiar with the language 10 under
stand the Fresch verse; and he generally goes To
sleep during tho performance. The wit OF the
French eomedy i, fiat and pointless TO him. lie
would not give OF Mundens WY faces, OF LIS
tons indispensable looks, for the whole OF IT,
He will not admit that Paris has any advantage
over London. The Seine is muddy r'vulet IN
comparison With the Thames; the West End OF
oadon surpasses the finest parts Of the French cap
nal: and on some ones observing that there was
very thick fog out of doors Psh' said he, crust
ily. IT'S nothing to the fogs we have IN London
He has infinite trouble in bringing his table into
any thing like conformity TO English rule. " ith
his liquors it is true, he is tolerahiy successful.
He prncures London porter and a stock OF port ana
sherry at con sidelab expense; tor he observes,
thar he cannot stand those cursed thin French wines
they djlate his blood much 40 To give him The
rbeafnati.r As to their white wines. he stigma
,yss them az a mere substitute sor cider and as 10
clarei, .by it would be port If il could lie has
continued anarrels with his French cook, whom he
renders wretched by insisting on his conforming 10
Mrs Glass; for il 10 easier TO convert tfenchman
from his religion than his cookery. The poor tel
low. by dint OF repeated efforts, once brought him-
self TO serve up ros BIZ sufficiently raw to SUIT what
he considered the cannbal taste OF his masters but
then no could not refrain at the last moment, ad'
ding some exquisite sauce, that put the Old gents-
m0n in fury, 49,,
He delests wood-Gres, and has procured guam
,ity of coal. but having CRATE, he obliged 70
bn,o il on the hearth. Here he sits poking and
stirring Ike fire with one end OF tongs, while the
room Is as murky as a smithery railing at French
cbjmneys, French masons and French architects
irving poke at the end ofevery sentence, as though
he were stirring up the very bowels oil the deiin-
ouents he Il anuthematisng. lie lives IN state
militant with inanimate objects around him gets
into high dudgeon with dUors and easements be-
cause they will not under English law, ana
has implacable feuds with sunday refractory pieces
of furniture. Among these is one in particular with
which he is sure TO have high quarrel every time
he goes TO dress. IL is c0mmode, one OF those
smooth, polished, plausible pieces OF French iura
nture that have the peryersity oi live hundred de-
wills Each drawer has will of its own. wiiI open
or not lust as the within takes IL, and sets lock and
kew at defiance. Sometimes a drawer wili refuse
10 Weld TO either persuasion or force, and WIN part
with both handles rather than yield another VIII
come OUT III Tue Hpsb Coy hAN ~SiN~Nr-
imaginable; elbowing along, zig-aog' one corner
retreating as the other advaneesi making thou.
sand difficulties and objections at every move unti
The old gentleman, Of all patience, gives SUD
den Jerk, and brings drawer and contents into the
middle Of the floor His hostility 10 this uniucky
piece of furniture increases every day as u inceas
cd that il does not grow better. lie Is IKE the
fretful invalid, who cursed his bed that the longer
he ay, the harder II grew. The only benefit he mas
derived from the quarrel is, that II has furnished
him with crnsiy joke, which he utters on AL oc-
casions. He swears that French eonmoae Is the
most tncor4modious thing in existence, and 'nat at
though the nation cannot make Joint-s'ooi thae
will stand steady. yet they are always talking oil
every things being perfeetioaee. ),
His servants understand his liumor, ana aven
themselves OF it. He was one day disturbed oy
pertinacious rafting and shaking at one 81 me
doors, and bawled out in angry tone, TO know the
cause OF the disturbances. Sir, said the tootman,
testify, its this eonfounded French LOCK-, an
said The old gentleman, pacied BY this M at tne
nation, / thought there was something French NJ
the bottom Of it'
CxpNANs--Itis stated ia a recent French pa