The Illinois free trader. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1840-1841, 1840-12-18

a swaggerer. His red bushy whiskers
almost met on his chin his shirt-rufflcs
were long and projecting; his cravat was
stuffed with padding until it almost burr.
ed his chin; and his bell-crowned hal
was tilted over his left eyebrow when he
walked, or rather strutted, along the
street, swinging and plunging down his
cane at every step: and withersoever he
went he overlooked every body, and ex.
pected the way to be cleared for him by
high and low. He considered himself
justified in lording it over all who were
about him, because he was the most form.
liable man in the town,
If any peaceful worthy man did not
cover at his presence, be WAS sure to re-
sent the supposed indignily by sneers and
insults. Many were the pompous gibes
and bombastic witticisms that he discharg-
ed from day to day at the schoolmaster
Jedediah Bateman, who did not humble
himself like dog before The high and
mighty Major Alonzo Dashwell BECKER
ton, as the duellist styled himself He
profcssed TO have borne a majors com
mission in the western army, and often
boosted of his exploits in Gen. Wayne's
expedition against the Indians. Some
people doubted in their hearts whether
he had been in that expedition at all, be-
cause he gave some erroneous accounts
of marches and battles: but they doubted
only i'll their hearts, for who would dare
insinuate the suspicion Of falsehood to the
majors terrible self! The majors tongue
might err, but his pistol was nevertheless
true. Who would have expected that our
dry-laced yankee schoolmaster would,
first of all, have the hardihood TO retort
the sncers and insults of this hero of the
pistol He bore several of these attacks.
with the utmost apparent Indifference
Not muscle Of his face changed its ha-
bitual fixedness, not drop more or less
blood colored his cheek neither word
nor look indicated the slightest feeling of
the bully's satire. This insensibility of
Jedcdiah provoked the major sorely. He
charged the artillery of his wit with still
heavier loads of turgid phrases, to express
his contempt for the schoolmaster. Still
the yankee WINGED not he only began
with the soberest and most unieclng
gravity to utter some repartces, as dry
and grating as the sands of Arabia, yet so
perfectly free from open insult, as to in
cense the duellist's pride without furnish
ing him decent pretext to take offence.
But the natural malignity of MS temper
was so emblttercd by the schoolmastcr's
Notifying indifference and icy wit, that
lie began to abuse and insult him outra-
geously on all occasions, with the obvious
intention of provoking deadly quarrel
with him Still the yankee maintained
his impcrturbable GOODNESS, and replied
only by jokes and sarcasm Of more stony
and indigestlble hardness. The bully's
rage became unbounded, and the yankees
friends saw clearly that the affair would
come TO personal violence. But their
kind endcavors were vain to persuade Je-
dediah TO soothe the bully's rage. 'li
you mortily his pride any further" said
they, she will assault you, and you will
have to let him beat you with his cane or
shoot you with his pistol
Il shall let him do neither, | guess -
said the yankee.
"How will you prevent him ?"
"You will see when the time comes, y
was the final reply.
The same evening at supper, the duel
list, as usual, began TO utter something
designed to provoke the yankee. At frs
Jedediah gave no heed. 70 make the
attack more direct, the bully proceeded
as he had often done, and as iops and ad
dlcpates often do, to express his contemp
Of schoolmasters, or pedagogucS, as 1t
and other tops used to call them. Seem!
that Jedediah still paid no attention, h,
addressed him supcrcIliously in these
words. Come, sir pedagogue, you are
silent: be so condescendlng as to Illus
trate your profession by Informing US how
many ideas you have bastinaded into thu
posteriors of your boys to-day "No
one, Sir" said Jcdcdiah-"the boys d,
not now carry their IDEAS in their poste
riors, however, they may have done il
your boyish days" "The deuce yo
say, Mr.. Pedagogue: well then, give u
a philosophical reason why You appl
your brchen instrument with such impet
uosity to that inferior part of their corpol
cal system Come, your philosopher
reason, Mr.. Pedagoguc." "You sha
4 Il