The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1840-02-22
"A ros, turkey, siF,'

4 hey tequlEeu some HUG Ufne 10 comply |
with The orders, Ths landlord and Jsncs |
made themselves old acquain.ances.
Rather red face of yours, landlcrd,'
said Jones, i havn't secn any thing that
looked like spring bcfOlei fine blossoms,
sir
'You are rather crooked character, Mr..
jones'
'Rashes sir, bui not qui,s so crooked as
a sfes cnce knew, 1t was the .allest but
,ernut | ever saw. Standing close to it one
day in thunder storm, saw squirrel on
one Of the topmoss branches. The light
ming struck the same branch about three
feet above him--4the squirrel startcd---lhe
lightning had 10 follow the grain and the
squirrel went straight down. So cofound.
ed crooked was thattree cir, that the squir-
rel, by my watch, got to the bottom pre-
cisely three minutes before the lightning
That's lie, exclaimed the landlord.
"A lie true sir, true as any story ever
was afterwards saw that treo cut down,
and made into rails fos hog pasture
The hogs would crawl through twenty
timer in a day, and SO thunderin' crooked
were them rals, that every time the hogs
got cut, they found themselves in the pas
ture again.
Before Jones had time to relate another
story, the bell rang FOR dinner. The turkey
was there hanked on both sides by large
dish Of potatoes, on the ether by condiments
of various kinds,
4 will thank you said Mr. Jones to the
dansel in waiting ,to'cOok me few slices ol
beef, / am afraid shall not be able TO make
out my dinner at this.
The girl withdrew in amazemeni, while
Jones made vigorous attack upon the
fowl, which rapidly disappeared before his
advances. Wings, legs, and body were
soon transformed into skelstsn, and heap.
ed into large pile beside his plate. The
vegetables, TOO, had sensibly diminished
and he had just laid his hands on an apple
pie Of uncommon dimensions when the
girl made her appearance with the beef.
Thank ye,' SAID Jones, have the good.
Aess now to cook me some pork steak,
rather rare, and bring me plate Of pickles.
| have a very strong appetite
The girl disappeared, and Jones fell to a.
gain, but with less alacrity than before
He managed, however, 10 devour the beei
just as the girl came in with the pork, the
pickles having in the mean time been ca.
ten.
Nov Miss, I'll trouble you for some
fresh fish. Have you any''
While the girl had gone 10 enquire foI
this, the landlord, who had been made a.
ware of the havoc that was going on among
his viands, entered the room. AZ this juno
ture Of affairs, the girl came back with she
intelligence that they had nothing but .
picked salmon.
Give me half dozen pounds of tha
them
Jones had already stuffed himself to re
pletion, and to have saved his life coulC
scarcely have swallowed another mcrssl.-
The landlord having heard the last order
though, best to fill up as cheap as possible
Won't you have some cider, Mr.. Jones!'
mo sir no thank you: Ialways make
It a rule never TO drink until get hal
through
Good God sir, you will eat US out o.
house and home. Quit now, and you are
welcome to what you have eaten.'
We'll, meal is meal--but presume
can obtain more at the next tavern. Tel
them they need not cook the salmon. III
take you a. your offer.
II is almost needless 10 mention that the
landlord soon came to knowledge of all
the circumstances connec!ed with the case
and that afterwards he was particular in sc.
locdng objects upen whom to practice his
shaving pTopensis'es.
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