Rutland herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1823-1847, 1840-03-10

/
the result
But we can instruct the nursery maid. the
| laundry maid and the kitchen maid. all the
maids how 10 effect their purposes in another
way not less eiilcacious. and as little suspec-
lcu. when kettle is TO be lifted off the 6ie
II IS apt TO be hot in the handle and TO burn
the fingers a towel is a very convenient inter
medium The towel being dry and hot. is
seized on by the point of 4 flame, or a spark
and 1t Is then proper 10 throw 1t over chair
back, or INTO a corner, or into any other in
combustible place. The spark spreads into A
circle, as II does in Undertook. or wanders
about like the parson and the clerk, when a
child has burnt to finder some stale last wears
news, and in Arc ssnc the engines arri,ie. and
nobody las set the house on fire. We vouch
for the success Of this experiment, because it
once succeeded perfectly well with us on a
bit ofwainscot
All these methods, however, bear a certain
air OF vulgarity; for which reason we shall
point out at least one elegant mode of effect
ing this desirable object Being founded on
optical principles, it cannot fail to be accepta-
bic to the ladies who learned their ologies, who
know the length of Capt. Kater's pendulum,
think Capt, Basil Hall a greater man than
Cook, Frobisher and Raleigh, united
This eXpedient is perfectly Galiean, and
consists IN choosing a globular decanter, which
is TO be filled with water Qadies, the water
need not be distilled) and then placing it on
some sunshiny day (supposng that such thing
ever happens in England in the sunshine. on
table, in a window, covered Uhe tablet with
fair toilette tablc-cloth The focus THAT is
the word) concentrating the sun-beams, and
In short, sets the house on fire. Ii is even so
indeed, for we have known it happen twice
AS to OTHER scientific and chvmical means of
producing the same results, such as by phos-
phorus bottle, or by bottle of oymuriatic
matches, they are too vulgar to be introduced
into so profound treatise as this. Nor need
we inform school boys how they may manage,
for the same purposes, by gunpower and squibs
since we profess to deal only in the obscurer
and more profound expedients for exciting
what the lawyers call arson.
The cook, the kitchen-maid, the scullery-
maid, the whole genus dealing in fires and the
great art OF nutrition, possess such obvious
means OF their own, of making fireworks of
any dimensions, suited to the scales of their
respective houses, that we consider it beneath
our dignity TO descend into their regions
With respect 10 the stable the quntesSence
OF Tie pyrotcchnic art, in this case, is for the
coachman and grooms, and siahle-boys, one
each or all, to get drunk, and the drunken the
better That being done, it is proper to lie
down upon the hay with the candle burning,
or to go up into the hay loft similarly, or TO a
muse themselves with setting fire To spiders,
or smoking, or drinking still more, if they are
not drunk enough already. Drunk or sober,
II IS not amiss to have nocturnal designation
with some gentle fair one at midnight, to clap
the candle under stable bucket, as a subsii-
tuie for dark lantern, and forget il, or else
to tumble II into the hay in the confusion ofthe
moment ; or, finally, to prevent discovery,
whether OF this, OF purloined oats, stolen hay.
or a stolen horse, fairly Sc; the whole on fire
That 1t is generally Judged good policy to fire
stable occasionally, is indicated by that ex-
quiSlte invention, stable lantern, partaking
of all the obvious qualities of a safety -lamr,
and unquestonably the hint whence i, was de-
rived. If indeed tits nothing to the purpose
of safety, If spark may fly out, or a straw
get in, conducting to other straws, it is very
muchto the purpose which we have here all
along kept in view.
Our ADVICE 10 brckavers, carpenters and
! plumbers, admits of being brief, for we cannot
teach the:c much they are adopts already
Bond timber Is, however, the fundamental Sc
crct because brick and lime being naturally
/ lncomhusible, lnasmuch as they have both
| been burned already, no other method of de-
/ stroying the walls with the Interior the shell
/ with the oyster, could have been devised
/ Luckless was the day, and dark the hour, that
substituted stamped and taxed paper, amian-
thine paper paste and lime, for fat, red, fiery,
/ Norway tr; but he was no small philosopher
I in fire, who taught us to build houses on drum
sticks, that like mouseeraps, they might tum-
! BILE at the pulling of a trigger.
/ But even bond timber will not burn, unless
! 1t receives the contact Of the element destined
10 communicate life and motion TO the dorm
ant and sluggish mass and how should the
whole mine of beams and iimbers and raiicrs
aud floors, be taught to aspire 10 heaven, un-
less the Train were laid which may in due
time rescue them from bondage, and make
them exult in liberty, haiiing their cmancipa-
ton in cracking and sparkling boniires -
/ The train is laid into the chimney and where
better could it be laid This, al least, is the
most eliicacious; but it occasionally succeeds,
il laid below the hearlh-stone: where, gradu-
ally driving, more gradually charrng, perhaps
favored 10y some delicate cIcyice to admit air,
or a spark, il is at length found that the house
I smells strangely of burning wood, then smells
OF smoke, then of fire, and al length becomes
sensible Ia the rest OF the seven senses, and Il
,heinsurauce ofhce.-As 70 the plumbers they
understand, so well, the an OF burning down
a church or cathedral. that we need not lose
our labor in attempting 10 instruct them.
Ii is often convenient 20 burn down divers
\ manufactures OF various kinds, bot the modes
are endless and would exhaust our patience
, Yer we particularly recommend To varnlsh
makers, and the rest of this fraternity, always
70 work at an open fire, because Il they used
. any furnace of any kind. this desirable even
could never happen. Carpenters, ciymists
Gisiillers, bakers, and the rest must be allow