Maumee City express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1838-184?, 1840-11-28
LIGHT READINGS.

"CoRKy. ."-Cone John, sit down and
eat these potatoes, ard let your whiskey
alone, for ii is poor stuff 10 live upon."-
All! Cnty, my jewel, would take youi adj
vice, but the 'tatoes are SO corky. All tho
better, John, for stopping your bottle.
REroRT.-' Ny son. said an affectlonate
mother to her son, who resided at distance
aud expected in short time to be married,
You are geitnr very hin.' Yes, mo-
ther, he replied, 81 am, and when you SEQ
me next, think you will see my rib.'
Ono Of the banners at Cincinnati, bore
the inscriptions: Tip down executive mis-
rule. and Ty up the bleeding wounds Of our
country.
The Pennsylvania Mercury, in it's rage
against Maine, culs it the land of onions
We 4" not wonder that the poor locofocos
think IT an onion State. Every breeze from
Il d''nSs teas int9 her eyes.-Prtntice.
q That's thunderIn big her' said Tom
M, sad Dick, it is only Illuminating
el !rrgenent Of eongated veracily.
7atilsr.
A signboard near Shrewsbury has the fol-
owing classical inscription: IAN persons
,ound fyg htcing or lrespussln On this ground
will be executed ssith the utnost wigger of
the law.
Ole of the best illustrations Of aparies
We ever heard OF, is that contained in an
cd carlcdture, which represents Old Nick
carrying Dutchman down To his regions,
Ind v lille ON the way the Hnllander is ma
sing propositl"ns to iis m1lesty to supply
Lluu with Goals.
The papers speak of an old lady whose
countcnahce Is 50 sour that she hires her
seI out by the day to make pickles.
Gauss AND EFFgCT.-"I amt goin' tew
w. long niau.a." "Why not you sarpintr'
"COrS nay lrowsls is all tored out be.
aind."
Why is pretty girl like the hub of
wheel! Because sNe Is surrounded by .Jsi-
iOp5.
The last card of the party in N. York
mas played The deuce.
CoNrEMPTiBLE.-' DIR. Porson,' said 4
gentleman to the great Grecian, with whom
,e had been disputlng, 'Dr. Person, my
opinion Ot yVu Is contemplibe.' Sir, re-
turned tie doctor, 81 never knew an opin-
,on Of yours that was not contemptible.'
Coon Fol- PnENrlcE.-Mr. ]. Y. Long,
ut the Southern Crisis, asks, 'When viii
lie cuitor Uf the Louisville Journal, learn
tu tell the truth! TO which Premise re-
pneI, There $ 10 doubt but we snail tell it
b,J,'e Lung.
FALL FAsIloNs.--Lsst Sabbath morning
y5aas lady was seen vending her way
to cnLfch wltn Eltster buttons on ner wrists
and a npc u, og as nnepence, in the heel
ot her s!Icsas.--Erchange Paper.
A etter from Maine states that the loco
focoS in tngt StaIe are obliged to staud on
.. Vi u Keep their chins from touching
the sfound.
fae baltimore Clipper now and then
pclp'etrAies good .Aing. lake the fol-
to".ns a. sa."pie:
Jamvs, Vac was the first Democrat
Wnlg
"-,oah, sir"
Wnyf'
" iiec4use he built the first log esbin,"
60 to your seat, Jdmes--that accounts
for the uIiiR o. tue cocoa nut"
Tins is .Josci weather." as the turkey
said about Thanksgiving time.
ats your next move,'' as the landlord
said to The poor tenunt.
II blush ut the thought" as the red cab-
bag. said tu the trust.
IL am dissenter," as the potatoe
said, when it fell from the cart, into the
mud. a.s
Zone bumper at parting as the chap
said wnea he run agalns the sign-post.
A DISTINGUISHED AUTHORS Gentle
mea," said u ragged loaier, addressing q
crowd, 9" am an author" Indeed--of
what2' "My own misiortunes."
Why is a gun like iuryl Because it is
charged and discharged.
Why is bashe like well digesled plant
Because it Is solid measure.
Way is person reading aloud like
ju,lgel Because he pronounces SEN
tence.
The Detroit Free Press asks if Gereral
llatrisln is de angcd. To which the
Louisville Journal replies--Possibly he is.
He served pnder Z" Mad Anthony" ti
Why is segar smoker Ike an authori
Because he is fond Of apuf.