Maumee City express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1838-184?, 1840-03-21
MAUMEE CITY EXPRESS.
SATURDAY, MARCH 81, 1910.

| pliotC't WSht yO iSh' INV o"S VI s"O"'
are things"
This question was directed by a chap
whose appearance gave strong testimony of
soap-lockism, to gentleman who was eros
sing the Maumce bridge, with a lady on
each arm, on Sunday last.
"Hello, there, stranger, say lend me
one of them are traps Of yourn."
"Stop your bawling there: What do you
meant" .........
al want to borry one of them are winning
to cross this bridge. I'll take either, for
ant protd, nor particular as to age, nor
looks, provided she ant ngger."
"You oundrel!-What do you insult
us for?' ..t .u a.
No, no, no, no insult, no, by no means
only wanted to borrow one of these ere
winning, to cross the bridge. You see, this
old case that sets at the receipt cf custom,
don't charge meetin gon folks anythn OH
Sunday, and you look like meetin goin
man and will 60 clear as WHISTLE don't
look like meetiner, and shall stick fast un-
til I'm pried out with two cents. Now if
could borrow one of your winning it
would give me sort of sanctimonious
appearance like, and I could pull the wool
over the eyes of old Twopence there, and
go it as if was creased"
The gentleman was disposed to be angry,
but the novelty of the proposition seemed
to strike one of the ladies' favorably, and
she offered to walk beside the chap across
the bridge, provided he would save her from
the sin of aiding in deception, by going to
meeting after he was safe across the bridge
To this, after some demur, he assented. and
the two pairs proceeded onward toward their
destination. But the Ceberus of the bridge
had had aneye upon the whole proceedings.
1t struck him they were not X. G. (dccord.
ing 10 Gunter,) and he looked in his in
structions and couldn't find any precedent
for cases clandecent and onkarekterom as
these appeared to be.
"Don't mean you no intranqnlity," said
the descendant Of st Mathew, slamming
the gate in the faces of Mr.. Soaplock and
his lady, " but I'll take four cents Of yourn,
Mister"
No you don't; I'm single gentleman,
and This ady's a rneetinizer, so here's my
two cents, and open your port holes"
"You can't come it, no how; | seed the
whole contraption--you two.goes together,
for better or wus-if you don't like the
farms, you can go back and try the river
four cents is my demand SO shell out the
chirk and 60 it genteel, like other gentle.
mems does when they Waits upon the la
Dies" ..
Soaplock was nonplussed, but he couldn't
do no better, SO he shtlled out his four cop
pers, which happened to be all his funds on
hand, and went off cursing the whole con-
cern.
'Folks may talk about marriages BEN
made in Heaven-prehaps they be, but
names ant. My name in Heaven begins
with X. X, and if they'd gin it to me in
this world it twould have settled the pint at
onst, that I've been tryint to fix all my life.
X. K. is my natural initials. | never
could come it. l couldn't come larnn
though they hammered it in at one end and
boxed it in at the other; | couldn't come a
trade, and I've been tryin all my life tc come
the skientifcs, and can't. I've been up a
stump in everything undertook, and when
tried to gum suck, l was gum-sucked, like
was on this occasion. Cuss EN-, say l.,
my funds Is all absorbed in this transaction,
and now when want to absorb something
nice, l am nopplussed and drv to water,
wich, believe was never meant for nothn
but horses. 81 .oe 0.9se .t
MAuMEE Cry AND JoNEsvILLE TURN
pIKE.-A bill incorporating company to
build road from Maumee City, in the di-
rectior of Jonesville, Hilsdale county,
Mich. has passed the Legislature, and has
become law. We consider this route as
one of the most important to this place Of
any that could be marked out. Persons
well acquainted with the country, and the
direction of travel to the far west, state
that this presents by far the most feasible
route between the east and the west. The
country through which the route passes,
1--we know, from actual examination, TO be
one of the easiest for the construction of a
turnpike. The whole line, with tie excep-
tion of the six-mile woods, and few spots
of wet prairie on this side Of the woods, is
| tmouglla fine dry opening country that
scarcely needs any work to make it into the
| finest natural road in the world. "
+ John c. Smith Esq, Of Perrysburg, has
ablured whiggery, and in a murderops at
tack upon our inoffensive language, through
the columns of the Ohio Wing, has declar-
ed himself a locofoco. Judging from the
iubilahons of the locofoco prints, Mr., John
Chambers Smith must be considered great
card, and we have no doubt bu! the mem
bers Of the party in Wood county SO esti-
/ 81 7."H D.. d. - q