Rutland herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1823-1847, 1840-05-26
From the Boston Transcript.
AT A DINNER PARTY.

Ii has sometimes been our fortune to be a
guest at a dinner party, where ludcrous
events occasionally occur. Having had no
uncomfortable experience in the way of car
wing and helping our fellow feeders, we have
the vanity 10 boast that we can serve out
plate of the good things placed before the
guests as well, and little better, than some
folks. Not so with every one. A gentle
man, whom we will designate as a friend,
was once placed in a most awkward predica-
ment. He hated carving as he did the evil
one and he happened to be placed in siua-
ton Just where lie did not want to be. lie
was invited to dinner party, at which dis
tinguished gentleman was to be present. His
mind recoiled at the proximity of dish, upon
the contents of which he might be called upon
to operate, and he avoid ID anything which
might be supposed to contain Joint In
fact he always shirked large cover, as
though living tiger were crouching beneath
it, ready TO spring upon him. But the day
arrived on which he was called upon to exer-
else his faculties at the "infernal ari." as he
used TO call it. He had anticipated some
thing of the kind. and he had been looking
thr ugh the books upon cookery, which con-
tanned carving instructions. One which he
read, treated largely Of this Internal art, and
presented pictures of birds and beasts, with
| lines drawn, ndica ting the course the knife
was TO take. He studied hard, and got, as he
thought, all the winnings and sinuosiies OF
the art 10y heart. He cut up--i1 Imagination,
all sorts Of amin als-common and uncom-
mon. And, though thus theoretically prepar-
/ ed, he still made his appearance at the dinner
parry with futtering heart.
Dinner was announced. and he, being near
the lady of the house, fcl, obliged to offer her
] his arm, though he would gladly have exchan-
gcd this distinction for bowling wilderness.
since j, seemed to bespeak the probability oil
his sitting next her aud, if so, he knew too
| well. though she did not, wha, would follow.
As he augured, so i, proved. She assigned
the Undressing stranger on her right, and
placed our friend on the lefi-a post of honor,
/, might be; but TO him, pilory would have
been sort Of paradise, compared 10 II. The
cover being removed, big salmon was ex-
hibted to view. The lady turned TO him, re-
guessing his assistance. His last hope, flimsy
as it was, hung upon the Undressing stran
gers" soliciting this distinction. But he 81
erect and mute. and when sho politely hapdeC
him tie fish-slice and knife, he felt about al
much obliged To her as though she had presen
ted TO him poisoned goblet and dagger
But there was no retreating.
Being no gourmlnd, he did not for his sou
know why one part Of a creature designed fol
eating was not as good as another. More
over, the tail OF the fish was towards hin, an
be judged from that circumstance that II wa
designed he should commence there. lie be
gan, therefore, AT the tail, and insiDuating In
fish-slice at its very extremity, turnsl over
thin fnless morscl to the distinguished CUES,
whose plate was first at his elbow. III
looked sour as il was placed before him. Tn
lady soon perceived our friends error, an
before he had despatched another pla'e
pointed 20 the upper part of the fish. III
dashed in the slice under the superin;enie nc
oi her fair finger, and detached a portion 70
the other guests, for every one, as fate woul
have il, would eat fish, aud no one would tast
soup, sound which he eagerly longed !
: catch, as a remission OF at least part Of hi
sentence unccasing demands made lair
desperate, and he laid about him with knil
and slice, with so little address that befor
half the company were supplied. tho SALINE
, Law an unsightly heap Of ruins and the mos
! experienced eye might have been puzzled {
determine what in reality it had originally beer
This achieved, he waited in grim des7ai
second attack upon the mex, dish. Al las
: servant appeared bearing an enormous dis
and cover which he placed in the situalio
the hapless salmon had 50 recently ocedPled
D The cover being taken of, turkey was 81
posed. He would as soon il had been rhir
oceros. However. he CHANGED TO know ih'
the breas; was the iavorite par, AMI desirin