Litchfield enquirer., 1840-12-10
r.nn, .Le Ne,., .Ynrt af;rsor

ransaCt some feminine business, no matter what. As she was walking along one of our best streets, which happened to be nearly empty at the time, she was suddenly lccostcd by a gentleman, perfect stranger to her Pc was short and stout, with btR;hy head of hair, white gloves, cloak, aud all other outwa' evidence of gentility. He addressed her very familiarity, and eX- presst his pleasure at having met her.
 "I believe have not tho honor of your acquaintance, sir" said the lady, drily, for his familiarity was rather Of the impertl- nent ordeg.
 "We!l, never mind about that, it is never too late to make an agreeable acquaint- along; or, here, take my arm."
 "I really must decline the honor, sir, and request you, if you are gentleman' to leave me at oncc." .f..
 "Bah! how pretty you look, when you are angry!" and the vulgar fellow was preparing to put his arm around her waist, when the lady was overjoyed at seeing a tall, well dressed, gentlcmanly man turn the corner, and advance rapidly towards them. Her exclamaticns brought him to her side at once, and his presence seemed to cool down in wonderful degree the af- dor of the first conner.
 "What is the matter, madam!" he ask cd "has any thing happened! Can be of service to you in any way?"
 "Sir, have been grossly insulted by thls person." , "You scoundrel!'' Shaking his stick at the snort fellow, who sneaked away,) If 1t was not for making scene in the open street, would cudgel you to death. (To the lady) The vagabond who presumed to insult you is gone, madam; you need not fear now" :.
 "Iam under the greatest obligations"
 ooh, don't mention it, beg you. Will you allow me to offer my escort, to prevent the repetition of any such insult!"
 "I should be sorry to trouble you, but really I have been so much agitated by what has happened, and my nerves are quite unstrung, and must go home-if 1t IS not taxing your politencss too much-that fellow may return"
 "Don't be afraid, will take care of him.
 The lady accepted the gentleman's prof. fered arm very thankfully, and retraced her steps home. On the way they talked about balls and concerts, the weather, the opera, the news of the day, and other noth- ings which make up fashionable conversa- tion. To judge from the gentleman's man. ners and discourse, as well as from his frock, cane, and yellow gloves, he was al- together comme U faut. When they reach ed the lady's door, he bowed and was ta- king his leave. a... ii .s.-
 "I really feel much indebted, sir" said she, "for your timely interference"
 "Don: say any thing more, beg of you.'
 "Very much indebted, indeed, and if-I could acknowledge your services in any "Why, if you please you may give me
 "Two --.'' The lady was thunder struck, but she really felt grateful to her preserver from insult, and without saying a word, pulled out her purse and handed him the money. He tuuk 1t orAd NralE cd away. At the corner our short friend o1 the cloak and white gloves met him.
 "Well," asked he, ''how much did you get!" '... ....... ... ...l .
 "Two shillings," replied he of the cane and yellow gloves. ........
 "That will do; let's go end get some breakfast .
 PHRENoLoGICAL "SoFr-SAwDER."- ."--[By Sam Slick. ]-Sam, to sell his clocks, has recourse to "soft sawdcr," done up in Phre- nology: -..i. .,t.. ..,.... ',.
 "f looks at one of the grow'd up gals arnest like, till she says, MT. Slick, what on airth arc you a-lookin at! Nothin', says l. my dear, but most remarkable develope- mcnt. A what! says she. A most remark. able dcvclopemcnt, says I, the most re. markable, too, ever seed since was rais- cd.'' - ,.....,.... .
 "So slides out my knee for a scat, and says, it's no harm Miss, you know, for Ma is here, and l must look near to tell you ; so draws her on my knee, without waiting for an answer. Then gradually one arm goes round the waist, and t'other hand goes in the head, bulnpologizin', and whispers wit, paintin', judgment, fancy, order, mu- sic, and every good thing almost. And she keeps a sayin'--Wcll, he's witch we'll, how strange! lawful heart! well, want to know! now l never! do tell! as pleased all the time as any thing. Lord, squire, you never sec any thing like it, it's Jerusalem fine fun. We'll, then, wind up by touchin' the back of her head hard, (you know, squire, what they call the .amativc' bumps are located there,) and then whisper Dit of q joke to her about makin' Q very lovin' wife, and so on, and she jumps up colour in, and a sayin'--It's no such thing. You missed that guess any how. Take that for me, and all that, but actilly ready to jump over the moon for delight. Don't my clocks get tust admired and then boughten arter this readin' of heads, that's all! Yes; that's the beauty of phrenology. You can put clock into their heads when you arc put tin other fine things in, too, as easy as kiss my hand. l have sold nation lot of them
 The only thing agin phrenology is it's little bit dangerous. It's only fit for au old hand like me, that's up to, trap, for raw one is amazn' apt to git spooney. Taking gal on your knee in that way, with one hand on her heart, that goes pity y-pat, like watch tickin', and the other rovin' about her head n discovorin' bumps, is plaguey