The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1840-07-07
A COW RE-TAlLED AND cUR-TAILED
A TALE OF A TAIL.

TALE OF A TAIL.
cut and shuttle fellow who had been regu-
larry educated to the profession of card playing,
close student, who over the midnight taper had
spent many silent hour study ing out the mys-
teries Of faro, brag, poker seven up, and of
stocking and "putting up" cards. lately after
an unfortunate game of seven up, found himself
hard up in western city. His shutting began
to be understood wherever he made his appear
ance, and the consequence was he seldom shut
He'd long IN one place before he was obliged TO
cut. On the present occasion he had concluded
To make sudden and mysterious disappear
ance" in the night; and having in vain searched
about for some trilno tokens by which TO re-
member the friends with whom he was obliged
to part SO unceremoniously, he took his depar-
ture at midnight, unincumbered with baggage
and without sixpence in his pocket
II happened that some few miles lay between
him and the ferry which he meant to cross in
the morning, and while jogging along in the
moonlight, studying how TO swnde the ferry
man and secure breakfast on the other side, he
discovered COW, poor inotlensve beast, which
by some misfortune, had lost its tail, lying right
in the path before him Feeling somewhat
lonely, he thought il would afford him company
and amusement TO drive the COW before him 10
the ferry, and accordingly he aroused the rum
mating quadruped with stick and using such
pcrsuasons as were likely to be understood he
went forward with his design. The COW seem
ed 10 prefer the fields and bushes each side Of
the road, to the road itself, and this occasoned
great delay and Inconvenience, so that daylight
rose and found the COW and her new proprietor
sill far from the ferry.
| With the daylight came also another discovery
which was BY no means agreeable; the COW had
no tail. Here was tale unfolded! The COW
with no tail would be very apt to prove tell
tale, and therefore subject the COW hider to a
cow hide What was TO be done2 To tell a
false tale was easy, but to tie on tail required
genius Of another kind. Fortune favored our
hero, however, and passing country slaughter
house he observed the hide of an OK, tail and all,
hanging on the fence. His Bowie knife soon
whipped off the tail, and driving the cow into
the bushes where he would not be observed, he
managed to make the dead tail hang to the live
stump in manner very dubious and uncertain.
II had TO do, however, and fifteen minutes more
found the re-taiied COW on board the ferry boat
along with the tailor who had provided her with
a new tail.
Success now seemed certain, when man APP
peared riding in hot haste to the ferry mounted
upon an old horse that seemed to have been
urged nearly 10 its last gasp. The man dis
mounted and hurried on board the boat He
marched right up to the COW, and his lips Were
already open for an exclamation of triumph,
when his eye fell upon the tail A strange mys-
LITIGATION now seemed to take possession OF him.
He walked round and round the COW, looked al its
legs. its horns, its eyes, its head, and then he
would give mysterious and bewildered glance
at the tail. He lifted his hat carefully off his
head, and holding il in his left hand with the
live dlgits Of his right he commenced sort of
chronological friction Of his percraneum.
Now, the ox's tail was such miserable de-
cepton, and so awkwardly managed at best that
discovery Of the trick seemed inevitable, and the
state of perplexity and fear in which our profess
sor of High, Low Jack, and the Came"
was placed may be imagined His alarm was
probably high his hopes low, he had missed
his track in endeavoring TO turn up a Jack, and
the game was up with him. He had a dash of inn
pudence, however always ready at a pinch, and
now with admirable assumption of open
hearted honesty and independence he walked up
TO the man who was examining the cow.
''Neighbor, reckon there amt better cow
than that in these parts ?" said he, in such
manner as 10 give his remark the meaning of an
interrogatory
"Well, | don't know, stranger" replied the
man, and he still continued his examination of
the cow seeming TO grow more puzzled every
moment.
That ere is the finest critter neighbor, that
ever was MIXED. | say, you seem to fancy the
animal may be you'd like to buy her?n
Buy her!" exclaimed the man, opening his
eyes with a strange glare of penpexed astonish-
no tail, I'd swear she was mine 7"
You'd iehm ?"
',IdSp she mas ntinew
A capital idea now flashed upon the professor
He was in momentary dread of the ox's tail
dropping off, and a way to remove his alarm and
the tail together occurred TO him.
look here, neghbor" said he, calling a
flush OF blood TO his face and pretending TO be
highly nccnsed, g are YOU in airnest should
lost like Ia hear van saw thar aoatn ~
Say it again! To be sure ! will. ! never
saw such a resemblance in my life. II that COW
had no tail, I'd sHedr she Uds miUe Z"
% Well now, let's see you swear SAID the
professor, and he icrkcd out his knife, whipped
of the tail, taking care TO hit the old stump and
make il bleed, and tngng the evidence Of his
roruery as far as his strength would send il into
the stream he exclaimed, seemingly in a tower
ING passion, Now, stranger, iefssee you smedr!n
The owner OF the COW was fairly beaten. lie
took another look at her, gave glance after the
tail stared for a moment al the professor, and
then walked ashore and mounted his old horse
He turned again To look at the COW. and as the
boat put of he thus sooquised aloud, Well,
of all the most extraordinary resemblances |
ever did see! That's my cows head--there's
her old broken hon-lll swear to her fore legs
Ill swear 10 her hnd-egs--rl swear to every
inch about her buther tail r'-N a. PC.
---------~-------.-------
- The Argus qfes me Erening .joorrota ,oager
Of oNE THOUSAND DOLLARS Maf Mr.. Ion Buren iciH
be re-ciecied President Of The r. s.
This offer appeared in Yesterdays Argus. To-day
gentleman called on Croswell TO take the bet but in
stead Of standing by the result, he again sneaked
out The gentleman stated distinctly that he was
ready TO close the bet by dcposng the $1,000 in &c
teen minutes. croswell as distinctly declined