Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1840-10-23
MAKING AUGER HOLES WITH A
GIAILET.

"My boy what are you doing there with
that gimlct = said l the other morning to "A
ilaxcn haired urchin, who was laboring away
with all his might at a piece of board before
him. "Trying to make an auger hole !" was
his reply, without raising his eyes or ,us-
pending his operations
"Prcciscly the business of at least two
thirds of the world, in this blessed year of
our Lord 1910, is this making ,auger holes
with gimlet = | said to myself, as | walked
musingly onward.
Here is young A., who has Just escaped
from the clerks desk behind the counter.
He sports his muStaches; wears his hair long;
has acquired the power of being shaved;
carries a rattan ; drinks champaign when
he can command an y to purchase a bottle,
and treat a friend to a dinner; talks large of
the price current, fall of western stocks, and
profits of banking stands in his boots two
inches taller than Astor or Appleton {; and
speaks of foreign exchanges as would Roth
child or Biddle. lie thinks he Isl great man,
when all others know he is only making ALL
CUR holes with a gimlet.
Mr.. B. is a rabid politician. He ha. Ia
bored hard at caucuses, at ward and town
meetings, has talked of the dear people till
the words flow parrot like from his lips, and
has done a full share Of the dirty work of
party for years. Office has been the lure
held out to lead him EDWARDS, and which has
made him neglect his business, spend his
time in hunting up recruits, drilling the re-
tractory, and qualifying himself for bar-room
argument and stump oratory. He can settle
the affairs of the nation in a trice diploma
cy has no intricacies for him; he has shaken
hands with the president, and is a great man.
He will soon be used up, and cast aside; and
will then see, as others now do, that he is
chasing auger holes with IA simlct.
There is Miss c., who is really a pretty
girl, and who might become a woman, a
man of sense would be proud of. Now, she
apes the tom in all things; reads exciting
novels, goes to the opera, admires Cclestc's
dancing, has nearly ceased TO blush at tho
mos, indecent nudity, lounges on sofas, glo-
ries in her ~idlencss, keeps her bed till noon,
coqucts with male animals as feminine as
herself, imagines she is a belle, forgets that
/, her father was a cooper, lisps of high life,
and p~lebeian presumption land Is in a fair way
, to ruin herself. All this comes of her belief
, that an augcr hole can be made by gimlct.
MIR. d., whom | have Just passed, NAV bo
: put down as a distinguished professor of the
gimlct. lie was a farmer. His father left
him a fine farm free of incumbrance bu,
speculation became rife, fortunes were made
,, in a twinkling, ard ID. tancied "one thing
could be done as well as another" So he
:, sold his farm, and bought wild lands in the
= prairies, and cornerlots in Autographed cities;
and began to dream of wealth worthy o.
- golden Ind" Work he could not ; it had
suddenly become degrading. Who could
!, think of tilling or being contcnted with {
hundred acres of land, when thousands O
= acres in the broad west were waiting for oc.
u cupants or owners. ID. was not the man tc
/, do it, and he operated to the extent of hi
means. At last the land bubble broke; Ii
r. thographed cities wcrediScovcrcd to be mer,
boys; and prairie farms, though the basis O
eXhauslless wealth, worthless unless rcnderet
productive by labor. But D.'s beautiful farm
is gone, and as he is now preparing on com
IL pulsion to become a pioneer in the west, h
feels that il is difficult to make augcr hole
with a gimlet.
Mr.. T.. is the representative Of quite
class. He had his attention awakened to tn
subject of religion, and obtained new views O
its Importance and his own obligations. Be-
lieving what cannot be disputed, that love I
God and good will to man, is tho only tru
source of happiness, and feeling, as ever,
10 benevolent mind must, a desire for the wei
90 fare of his race, he iancied himself called I
declare these truths to the world /; and for
,g saklng his lapstonc, his anvil, or his plough
10 became without delay an cxpoundcr of til
v, scriptures, a sclt-delcgatcd instructor c
mankind. He forgot that the age of miracle
had ceased and that the ability to tcac
IN must now be acquired by the slow but neces
rs sary process of human learning. lie begin
to have misgivings that he has mistaken h
ty call F; and will probably discover, when to
,g late to y~ectify the error, that he has spent II
ID best half of his life in trying to make aug,
holes with a gimlet.-C uhirator,