Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1840-07-28

why don't you get marrled!' mis-
chlevously asked young lady of rather
elderly bachelor friend the other day.
81 have for the last ten years, tried to find
some one who would be silly enough to
have me- was the reply. Il guess you
hav'nt been up. our way" was the insinu-
atIng and heart fluttering rejoinder. The
last we saw of Benedict, he ,cas going" sup
our way with a swiitness of foot and de-
termination of purpose, that indicated in
HIM fixed resolution 10 " conquer or die.'
Parallel Of the SereS. There is an ad-
mirable partition Of qualities between the
sexes, which the great author of being has
distributed to each, with a wisdom that
challenges our unbounded admiration.
Man is strong-W oman is beautiful.
Man is daring and confdent-Wo
is diffident and unassuming.
Man is great in action-Wo man in suf-
fering.
Man shines abroad-Wom at home.
Man talks to convince-Woman to per-
suade and please.
Man has a rugged heart-Woman
soft and tender one.
Man prevents misery-W Woman relieves
it.
Man has scence-Wo taste.
Man has Woman sensibilty.
Man is being Of justice-Woman an
angel Of mercy.
A Remedy" How's your wife TO-
dayW inquired gentleman Of his friend,
as they met on the walk before the Opera
House.
ooh, don't know am afraid she is
no better-I wish could think of some-
thing that would restore her to health"
Well-lets go and lick her, liquor
An Italian monk wrote the life Of St.
Francis Xavier, where he asserted that by
one sermon he converted ten thousand per-
sons IN desert island.
The New Orleans Picayune says, it is
n fact worthy of notice, that the gentlemen
now employed in taking the census of this
city, have not yet met with an unmarried
lady whose age comes up to, or exceeds
thirty, taking their cords for ii.
Why didn't you Jump off," some one
asked Pat, after he had narrowly escaped
with his life from 4 horse which had run
away with him. "Arrah, by laibers, an
wasn't 1t as much as could do to stay on"
Paying debts is, next to the grace of God,
the best means in the worll to deliver you
from thousand temptations to sin and va
nifty. Pay your debts and you will not
have wherewlthal to purchase costly toy
or penlclous pleasure. Pay your debts
and you will not have what to lose to a
gameSter. In one word, pay your debts,
and you will, of necessity, abstain from
many induIgences that war against the spi-
rlt, and bring you into captivity to sin, and
cannot fail TO end in your destruction, both
Of soul. and body.-Delany
The Journal of Commerce tells of n
down-east cooper, who experiencing DIFF
ticulty in keeping one OF thesheads of a
cask he was finishing in its place; put his
son inside to hold il up, but was much as
tonished, on completing his task to find no
aperture for the boy 10 escape, except
through the bung hole.
The editor Of the Railway Herald spent
the fourth in the following rational man
ncr:-Forenoon, Toasted on cherry pie and
root beer; afternoon, on root beer and cher
ny pie; evening partook Of both. Nothing
like variety
There is not brainless man but what
thinks himself the superior of the man he
employs, and that he i. is who favors them.
giving them work solely for the purpose of
supporting them! Did he know anything
Of the relative value Of labor and capital
he would perceive that he is the receiver,
and not the dispenser, of iavors.
Ne'c Railroad e Ship a-hoy!" where
are you fromF'-'' From the sky" repli-
ed the skipper who was hailed" How
did you come from there ~ III creased
the seat of my trowsers, and slid down on
n rainbow"
81 have nothing but my character to de-
pend upon" said mendicant for Office to
the President. "TLen," replied the chief
magistrate. "you are the poorest man in
the world"