The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1840-07-25
From the Adventures of Valentine Vox.
A VENTRIL0QUIST TREATING HIS
FRIENDS TO A SERENADE OF
CATS
CATS.

There happened to be only four bed
rooms in the house, the best of course was
occupied by Miss Madonna, the second by
Plumplee, the third by Mr.. Beagle, and the
fourth by the servant, aud that in which
Mr. Beagle slept was a double bedded
room, and Valentine had, therefore, to make
his selection between the spare bed and the
sofa. Of course the former was preferred,
and as preference seemed highly satisfacto-
ry to Mr.. Beagle himself they passed the
remainder Of the evening very pleasantly
together, and in due time retired.
Valentine. on having the bed pointed out
10 him, darted between the sheets in the
space of a minute, for as Mr.. Jonas Beagle
(acetiously observed, he had but to shake
himself, and every thing came off: when as
he did not by any means feel drowsy at the
time ha fancied that he might as we'll amusc
his companion for an hour or SO as not
He therefore, turned the thing seriously
over in his mind, while Mr.. Beagle was
quietly undressing, being anxious for that
gentleman to extingush the light before he
commenced operations.
"Now for beautiful nights rest" obser-
we'd Mr.. Jonas Beagle to himself as he put
out the light with a tranquil mind, and turn
ed in with great deal of comfort.
"Mew !--mew !" cried Valentine softly
throwing his voice under the bed of MIR.
Beagle.
"Hish-curse that cat !" cried Mr.. Bea
gle,"w must have you cut a, all events,my
lady" And Mr.. Beagle at once slipped
out OF bed and having opened the door
cried 'hish ! again emphaucalIy, and threw
his breeches towards the spot as an addi-
onal inducement for the cat 10 "stand not
on the order Of her going when Mr.. VAL
entine repeated the cry, and made it appear
to proceed from the stairs Mr.. Beagle than
ked heaven she was gone, closed the door
and very carefully groped his way again in
TO bed,
"Mew !-mew NEW ~ cried Valen-
tine, just as Mr.. Beagle had again comfort
ably composed himself.
"What are you there still madam?" en-
qured that gentleman in highly sarcastic
tone, Il tho't you had been turned out ma
dam. Do you hear this witch Of cat -
he continued, addressing Valentine with the
view of comforting upon him the honorable
Office of Tyler for the time being; but Val.
entino replied with deep he4vy snore, and
began to new again with additional empha-
sis.
Well, don't have treat every day,it
is true; but il this isn't one, why I'm out ol
my reckoning, that's all - observed Mr..
Jonas Beagle, slipping again out of bed:
don't much like TO handle you my lady, bnt
if l did, I'd of course give you physic y
and lie "hished !" again with consumate vi
olence and continued to "hish'' until Val
entine scratched the bed-post sharply, a fea
which inspired Mr.. Beagle with the con
'iclion Of its being the disturber of his
peace in the act of decamping, when he
threw the pillow very energeically towards
the door which he closed, and then return.
ed to his bed in triumph. The moment
however, he had comfortably tucked Aim
self up again he missed the pillow he had
converted into an instrument OF vengeance
and that was an article without which he
could not even hope to go TO sleep, he had
Of course TO turn out again to fetch it.
Chow many more times, | wonder" he
observed TO himself, "shall have to get
out Of this blessed bed tonight! Exercise
is certainly comfort, and very conducive
to heallh but such exercise as this; why
where have you got 2" he added, address
ing the pillow, which with all the sweeping
action of his feet he was some time unable
to fnd-"Oh, here you are, sir, are you
and he picked up the object of his search
and gave i, several severe blows in the bel
ly; when having reinstaled himself between
the sheets, he exclaimed in subdued tone