Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1840-05-08
ONE WHO HAS DIED WITHOUT LIVING.

ONE WHO HAS DIED WITHOUT biNiN"'
nj. Paul Legrand died few weeks ago at Di-
jon, in Burgundy, at the age OF II, leaving
the following memoir. whereby he proves
that he had not lived -
"All that is suffering. sorrow. ennui, de-
sire, regret should be deducted from life, be-
cause we should ourselves have deduct.
ed it had Heaven permitted When three
years old was weaned, at six could speak
= but badly--at seven split my skull at nine
was cured | must. therelore,d deduct nine
years from my existence: for surely TO drink
nurses sour milk, not to speak or speak
badly, and 10 split ones skull is not living.
AT the age OF nine began my studies. Ow-
ing to my cracked skull my head was a
hard one, and proved stubborn 10 tuition.
/ required two year labor to spell the a pha-
bet. | was indebted to the letter Y alone for
about iourscore hundred lashes the other
twenly-three letters made complete martyr
Of me. Al the age OF twelve | could read.
but my body was mangled with the alphabet
scars An attempt was made to teach me
Latin, and lost my French in the expert
ment At fifteen knew nothing at all, and
forced diet OF bread and water had reduced
me to the condition of skeleton. Six years
more are therefore TO be deducted. AT six
teen my father made me notary's clerk
There commenced new species Of martyr
don.-I got upntsiS, sweptihe Office, liz h,ed the
stove, was drubbed by the taller clerks, and
my father, overwhelmed with complaints a.
bout me. deprived me of my dinner. This
sort of life | led for FIVE years, and
rom my life | will positively deduct
,h A c.,1, I
with his son. put me on board ship at Cher
bourg. washed the deck, crept up the top
mast, mended the sails, and received thirty
lashes day upon my back. This was en-.
dured four years,
AT twenty. four my father made me a ha-
berdasher. married Mademoiselle Ursue
Desvosns, turner's daughter her portion
consisted Of 10000 livres mortgaged upon a
sugar estate at ST. Domingo. The day after
the wedding found out that my wife had
wooden leg, made by my fLther.n.law, the
turner. The poor woman made thousand
apologies for her nGrmiiy. and pardoned
her out Of regard to her marriage porliou.-
The St. Domingo blacks rose against the
whites, burnt the marriage portion, and the
wooden leg was all that was left TO me. Al
thirty lost my wife, in consequence OF
scoTfula disease 10 her real leg. spent six
years ofmarriage, repeniing every minute
What folly | committed in taking tina, leg |
therefore deduct those six years from nv
life. Having, as every body else slept q
third part Of my life, deduct "a years of
sleep, and am below the right reckoning,
for was a great sleeper
Ayear ost,addng minute 10 minute in look
ing after the keys Of my desk, which was
continually mis!ayng. Does one live when
one looks for a key2 Three years los,
in having myself shaved, powdered, &c
Five years lost in suffering from the tooth
ache,lwo nfammations Of the ches,~i.h re-
lapses and and convalescence. Three wears
lost in saying whats o'clock?" I'VE hav,
had bad weather to-day" How do YOU do ~
GLOW is your lady ?" II have bad cold
"Malbrough Sen tenguerre-what mud
in the streets-what winter this yearli-
Six months lost in having the mud brushed of
once, and six in brushing ones hat One
year OF the entraces at the theatre. One
year lost In listening TO The modern dramas
the chefs dOurre OF genius not understood -
One year lost in complaining Of salt g. taste
less soups,o outlets too much or under done
ofindigestion or hard eggs Total II years
| beg leave to declare that IN giving up the
ghost do not give up airy thing worth keep
ing.
How 1T WORKS. We ask the heroes oil
the revolution, and their friends to read the
subjoined, which we ex,racl from the Alba
ny Evening Journal:
Suspension Of Pension Payments. The
Pension Agency in this city is without funds
Payments TO Revolutionary Soldiers, therefor,
are SUSPEND EDl-The General Govern
ment is squaadering millions in the Swamps
oil Florida, while the venerable patriots of &c
are denied the small instalments which the
Government is pledged 10 pay on the heavy
debt due to them. Mr.. Van Buren, is living
IN Luxurious splendcr, dining on silver and
surrounded with every luxury. while the
poor Soldiers are denied their slinled Pen.
sions