The Hawk-eye and Iowa patriot. (Burlington, Iowa) 1839-1843, 1840-02-13
Vol. I.......No. 81.
! sent for you? was the ejaculation.
!, Yes, here's your note, handing the

quis'te instruments, as amputation
may be necessary.
IL IS a hoax, Doctor, no one receiy-
ed wounds in this office.
/ Then wish could find the fellow
out, I'd amputate his ears, SAID the
Doctor, as he rolled up his instru-
ments. Before he left the room az
spruce looking little man entered with +
a very di5niied air, and bowling po-
lltely, exclaimed, Mr. Bennett | pre-
sumo.
Yes sir, was the answer. The lit
tie fellow then knelt down at our
feet, and taking one of our boots on
his knee, pulled out some tape and
rule, neutrality-suspicious. you prefer
fine calf or morocco?
Neither.
You don't want thick cordovans?
No.
Do you wish rights and let's!
| wish to be left alone, and you to
right about and be off.
You sent for me and here's the
order, handing the following:
Herald office, 81, finn Street.
Mr. Bennett will be obliged to Mr.
Ledyard to send to him his Journey
man to take the measure for pair of
boots as early as possible on Wednes-
day morning, the 18th inst. Please
let it be before II o'clock, A. M.
1t is hoax, my good fellow; no
body but Ryder makes my boots.
Then ] hope the writer has Germs,
and may wear tight boots till he dies,
SAID the shoemaker, as he left the
room, and gave place to carman
with large demJohn in his cart, who
asked If ne would set down the same
IN the middle of the office.
MIR Lawrence says that he thinks
you'll find that as strong as you want
1t, said the carman.
Shall /? was the answer; but per-
jhaps you'll be good enough to say
what it is.
The aquafortis you sent for with
this note:-
Herald office, 81 finn st. Dec. 9, 1899.
! Mr. Bennett will be obliged to
Messrs Lawrence, Keen & Co. to
send one demDohn of strong aquafor-
tbs, with bill, to the office, on We'd
nesday morning, the 18th inst. by 10
O'Clock, A. M.
I sent for no aquafortis; never use
any; Its a hoax; | am aquafortis
enough myself.
| Well Eve got nothing to do with
the hoax, said the, pertinacious car
man; my orders are to leave it here,
and here l shall leave it.
; And it was with some difficulty that
this literal and faithful fellow could
be persuaded to remove the demijohn,
which he did, just as Mr. Parker the
dancing master, made one of his
graceful bows.
Good morning Mr. Bennett, said
Mr. z. Would you like to begin bu-
siness this morning, or wait until this
afternoon?
lbegln business early every morn
ing.
But when do you wish me to teach
you to dance?
| want no teaching; | teach others
to dance the year round.
| But you sent me q note to that ef-
feet; and my daughters hurried me off
before | finished my breakfast, for fear
| should be too late.
It's a hoax, Mr. Parker, | never
sent any such note.
! Well--hope the fellow who wrote
it may have to dance hornpipe. bare
], footed upon hot brickbats. Good
morning, Mr. Bennett.
I He had scarcely left, before a
young man from the excellent estab-
lishment of Mr. Cox, entered the
room, and observed, Mr. Bennett |
! presume?
The same, sir.
Would you prefer black or a beau
tlful invisible green, we have some
very fine specimens Of both, just i'm
i ported. -f
You mean tea, | suppose; / don't
keep house, board at the Astor.
No, SIR the suit of clothes you wrote
about. Would you wish a frock coat,
or a dress coat?
Neither 5; | don't want any clothes.
You sent this note for some, didn't
you; handing the following:
Herald office, 81 finn st.Dec. 9th 1889.
Mr. Bennett will be obliged to Mr.
4 Charles Cox to send a young man to
get a measurement for suit of
\ clothes.--Please call before II A. M.
!, Wednesday morning.
MI, Charles Cox, corner Of Nassau
and Fulton Street.
!, It is a hoax, sir.
Well ! should like to measure the
] hoaxer for suit of jail livery, said
the young man as he left the room.
and gave place to two good LOOKING
mulatoes with tray full of terranins
Il and fnrt1a corn hot fros. n