Southport telegraph. [volume] (Southport, W.T. [i.e. Kenosha, Wis.]) 1840-1850, 1840-09-22


"Mr. Smith, | believe had the honor of
addressing" said the professor
John bowed
:" am delighted in forming your ac-
quaintancc," said the professor.
Happy 10 see you, sir" said John.
You ire too kind Mr.. Smith believe
me although heretofore personally unac-
quaIntcd with you, your fame has reached
this city. You are highly estimated in
your own city,"
"WcII, the boys do think something Of
me-" said John.
"1'ou have classes Them" said the pro-
lessor.
ooh yes" said John, who thought his
new friend was referring to the Various
kinds of CLAIMS and oysters. 81 have sew
cral classes"
edo you not find them laborious, Mr..
Smith. Is it not irksome to attend to them
all?"
"Well, it is when the boys keep me up
too late. We have new plan Of opening
them IN our place, which saves great deal
Of trouble"
The professor was in ecstacy. A new
plan of opening or developing the mind.
the professor thought John Smith alluded
to, he said in reply:
"We do little in your way in our city,"
s. So have heard" said John.
"Y on will not leave without examining
our practice" said the professor.
"No," said John.
81 will do myself the pleasure of calling
again." said the professor. In parting
john gave him shake Of the hand that
brought tears into the eyes of the A. S. s.
John lived right merry life during his
stay, which was only for week. He had
every attendance, and all the great literary
people of the city paid him marked atten-
ton. At last he called for the bill.
"Ullo, how's this, WAITER" said he. One
hundred dollars for a weeks board NV
conscience! Here's naught too much.
Get the bill corrected and IN shell OUT"
The waiter, whose hopes of pcrquisitcs
vanished at this speech, assumed an erect
position at once and said the bill was cor
rect and could not be altered,
Get out of the room you impudent
SCou"uici you, dhu Cdii your master here.r
Jack made up his mind that his friend
was about to be o-P-H without paying. He
therefore said he should not leave without
the money, and John Smith was on the
point OF knocking the waiter down and
walking over him, when one of the propri-
etors walked in.
"UlIo," said John, "what's this ? Do
you charge Philadelphia oysterman 500
for weeks board"
ga what 2" said the prop rietor.
"a Philadelphia oysterman."
The proprietor laughed immediately
said there had been a mistakc-rectifed
the bill and called for bottle of cham
palgne and drank il with John Smith,
then returned 10 Philadelphia.
One evening as John was astonishing
the natives on his own premises, he re-
counted this adventure, and said he could
never account for the great respect with
which he was treated, by the walters, the
professors, &c.
81 can tell you," said young man pre-
sent, rhey all took you for Fellow of the
Royal Society, London"
GLOW could that be-" said John.
"Why," said the gay fellow. 81 was
at the Astor House and saw some names
entered with F. r. S. appended, which
stands for Fellow Of the Royal Society, so
| thought would add your titles and your
name +. r. S. which certainly belongs TO
YOU"
GLOW so?''
"Why, it gives your trade with your
name, and stands for Fried, Stewed, and
RoaSted.'