Madison Whig advocate. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1839-1841, 1840-05-23
The Bachelors rarewr..-

say, ia The words of Burke, when ne
ieit The opPosi ion - -.Genilenen. oui,
the camp - | cannot, however. fax.
leave OF my 'hali-bforher bachelors,
without expressing my regret for
what not Tor leaving now, bat for mol
having left before this, The. society nj :,
set vi fellows hardly 10 b. tolerated IN
any civilized country but | have been
daPeo' deluJed. imposed upon beyond
measure oi compass. would not have
remained longer inthe camp with such a
craven hearted corps-sucb an undiscip-
iihed' weak, Irregular, duh soldiery; fell
lows Who are baiikrupIs III purse, IN Wit.
III reputation But what could be en-
pecsed from class of beings - stale.
iiat and Improbable" as old bachelors
generally alc
teltosc- lc0nderrrs, You may call my
sudden lnt taniorphosis new or old ljqht
Ia reformation, CONVERSION n whim.
| or what YOU please, for | am resolved 10
wed /; and u IL be not the narch of mind.
! believe II will, 10 me, b. the march of
Comfort.
am resolved TO retire from the noise
and confusion - from the folly and prof
iigacy oil bachelorshIp to the peaceful
haven OF iEtlTiinony shatI dissolv..
partnership with the late extensive
inm," winch | joined unsolicited. and
iease Without regret. The ladies will
applaud the detection, for this cxpose will
s.rcngI hen their artillery again / the oil.
ready prescribed race oi old bachelors.
Mothers viii read these observations 10
their daughters, and the daughters for
themselves. Nay, every oil maid in the.
country will, '-wIh greedy ear. dcvour
up my I'course," 1t will strengthen
tneIr weakness against their opponents.
the bachelors. Thus, having secured
The ladies, care moi what becomes OF
The gentlemen. more especially the bach
cior part of them. II NAV be inquired.
what evil have you done me, brother
bachelors What good have Won ever
done M, by chance or design Hive
you mol taught me TO snoke, TO take
snutf, 10 drink wine All which hence-
iorth renounce, because am To get MIR
n d. Have you not Ten icei IN. Il, make
bets, play cards, and keep late Lonrs ?-l
All which ! shall now forswear. because
have resolved 10 wed. Haze you
not solicited me TO Join club after club
attend rohts, balls, iaverns 10 jazz
here and there. dissipate NV time. m ,ney
and mind 10 no purpose All which II
resolulely give up from this dav, and for
Ibis simple reason-because | have re-
solved 10 get married.
Over and above these weich'y char
ges, have not been literally posted by
your acquaintance for The last thirty
years Are not the generality OF OLD |
inusty bachelors parcel of scare crows |
calling themselves ones friends, while |
ihey are the greatest enemies 10 his re-
pose and happiness Oae bachelor bor-
rows money OF me which he never in
tends Ia paw another solicits 10 be in
lroduced 10 my tailor, who measures
HIM, and leaves me mcasureless in re-
grei. Tor have 10 pay The bill ano;her
preiends To be an excellent Judge IN wines.
aud tastes away an occasional DO tie oil
my bvsi II hen comes III horde OF
bachelors on Sunday. and as ! an ia
med Tor having good i.gs-of mutton
they soon leave ior me not leg 10 stand
upon Roast aud boiled dIsal pear with
greater celebrity than the locomotive en-
giues on the Runway Thy are
flock OF Gevourlng locusis. Egypt was
never more plagued than have been
Dut II 10 osCi tDC SwdfiOWS Df SuIilFNGf
will soon disappear in winter not one
ot those old bachelors shall enter nv
when ! am married. Prince
Henry never lett his dissoluie compan
ons with more satisfaction than ! leave
yon Tor ou have Bardolphs, Pins, and
many Poins among YOU Indeed.
'ay With that roy penitent-
Presume not amthe III ng was:
For you all must know, 81 shall the world
perceive,
Tha, hsve turn'd away my former self
So will / those thai kcpt ne con pIny.'
You tell me all nations are rucgling
iard tor liberty, and that should retain
nine bur say again, am struggling
. lose my liberty, .or | have found II To
70 the most Calling chain of the most
calling servitude You tell me 1.-THE cap
II liberty Is the only coronet :" but
ell I, on again, have not found il IA gol-
len diadep-" The cap of liberty has
me too long confined me a.
noug you in a moral Basiile, incarcera-
ed cramfed, checked worse than Siernes
starting IN the cage--..l cant get OUT, !
;an't get out - But shall get out oil
iour clutches, fellow-wanderers. What
ire The fruits of this liberty An ach-
ng head, sunken eye, haggard, over
lapging eye brows, feverish pulse, pale
:heeks, are SONG OF the s.glorious advan-
a ges" of a bachelors liberty ? Delu-
i've bauble whole nations have been
destroyed by thy syren voice no won
Ter individuals should listen to your de-
10y ing Establishments am glad have