Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1840-12-31

A few Reflections by Disappointed and Incorri-
gible Old Bachelor.
Such hath ever been the stupidity oil
mankind, that they could never fully ap.
propriate the experience their predeces-
sors, and learn wisdom from the msior-
tunes of others; but they must continually
be traversing the circle of,he same iollies
which have caused the Indebtedness, and
worked the ruin, Of generation after gen.
Grafton ofothers before them, and OF their
contemporaries around them. Thus HUI
man Nature is still performing the same
antics it performed TWO thousand years
ago; fattered by the same antiquated COM
plimen,s, seduced by the same ancient de-
vices, and cherishing the same old. fashion,
ed decisions, that have been exposed again
and again by the poets, philosophers, his
torians, and divines, of every successive
age. The world does not grow one whit
the wiser as it grows older; and by the
united confession of every constituent part
of il. is one of the mosIincorrigble, stupid
OLD fools that was ever heard or read of
What is true of the whole, is true of M
diylduals. The boy, despite the best lee
turing, will not appropriate the wisdom OF
the old man, although he would save
great deal of time by it. On the contrary
he must arrive at the same results by the
same means; be frs: curious, then positive
then wild, then forcible; by degrees, tenn
perste; when vice aud energy expire to-
qether, and he atones for the past iolles OF
his own actual career, by the speculative
wisdom which he doles out without stint for
The benefit of others. So it is on this sub
iect of MARRIAGE; and being so, | DO not
fear. in all my severity of experienced
bachelor-ship, to animadvert upon It to the
consolation of all well seasoned, right and
tight old bachelor souls, not doubling that,
however candldly the true state OF the
case may be exposed, there will still be
fools enough in the world to MAINTAIN the
necessary succession Of the species.
The old gentleman with whom ]. have
taken rooms, is one who claims to be-
long 10 the fraternity Of old bachelors, but
without any right or title. disown and
disclaim him. He is bachelor in ex-
tcrnal circumstance only, and not of heart;
for instead ormaintaining his position like
a soldier, and conducting himself toward
the fair sex like gallant, he has a
craven spirit, and a sneaklng and luxurI-
Gus tendency toward the domestic atmos-
phere Of the kitchen and the nursery. |
have been unable to cure my friend OF his
unfortunate delusion. 1t is particularly
prevalent and powerful o'Saturday nights,
for which period he reserves the mlscela-
neous mending which the wear and tear OF
this rude world make periodically neces-
sary. On these occasions, having taken
OFF his coat, and adjusted il, with great
formality, on the two back posts OF an old
fashioned chair 4 an heirloom attached to
the mansion we inhabit,) giving deep
sigh, as he brushes parting stroke on the
back, 10 divest it Of what he toncied
slight accumulation Of dust, but discovers
TO he thread-bare dinginess, he places
his shade over his brows, displays his work
upon his lap, with his "house-wite" at his
side, and prepares for his task. Before
beginning, however, he gives slde-long
glance at the CRATE to take due and military
distance from tho fire, deposites his needle
temporarily in his left hand, and taking
the scissors in his right, prepares to give
proper disposition TO his candles, and gen.
lily 10 clip their wicks. This IS the mo-
ment when my mouth always involgntarl-
ly opens to receive his soiloquy. Draw
ing a sigh far deeper than that which the
trace of Times finger on his once very
respectable coat called forth, he begins:
ooh, how do wish had nice little
wife to do these things for mel
1t moves me, at once; for compassion
ate the man, and | can never permit hi
regrets to proceed farther. "My dear
Mr.. c." interpose, a" il you had
wife, you would have 10 designate to hel