Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1840-05-28
Communications.
COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

MT. Editor:
As The following remarks NAV never
have come within the notice of mauv of
your readers, they will perhaps be sub
Ject of some interest TO some of Them.
at least 10 that class embraced under the
head of wooers Or wooed. They are
founded upon The question, 'What con-
slilules a beirolhment!"
l. Il matrimonial engagement, does
not consist in any of tile civilities or couue
sizes of life which a gentleman may extend
to a lady.
1t is not unfrequenIly the case, howev-
er, that these are mistaken for declarations
Of love, and announcement is made at
once, that such persons are engaged
Such is the imprudence Of friends, often
and more frequently Of the lady herself
that the common politeness, and attention
which are ever due between the sexes,
are construed into proposals, for marimo-
ny, and young gentleman hears report
of his engagement, while as yel not even
a dream of the thing has passed through
his own mind. BY such imprudence the
lady, sewers herself from the society, per-
haps of an honorable and accomplished
mind, and brings upon herself and friends
the modification and disappointment.
which will inevetibly follow in such cases. !
II gentleman attend lady 10 church;
if he escort her TO the assembly; if he
walk with her in the street; if he occa-
sionally visit her for the sake of her
good company the report is not unfre-
quently set on foot, by some mischief
maker or indiscrete friend, that The parties
are engaged 10 be married.
g Neither does an engagement COASTS,
IN any pollleness or social intercourse
which lady may extend to gentleman.
There are young men however of such
consumate vanity as 10 suppose that such
treatment is nothing less, than the strong
est lnllmaton Of personal attachment
If II lady even look at them, thew fancy
haiti must be a love affair, and eouiva-
ent TO the most direct proposals of mai.
mony. A smile, Il compliment, social
Interview, walk. or ride of pleasure is
ct down by such conceiled coXcombs. as
he most uneqnivocal declaration Of love.
they tell OF the conquests they made with
n AR ni triumph, and never know their
n'Aake until they learn il, in that reserve ]
nd neglect, which their condac, so richly
eserveS. Z
3. Neither does an engagement consist
The nlostunqmaifed declaration of love !,
lhcpar of either The gentleman or lady.
Tins may all be, yo: no obligations are l l.
contract is formed. And {
ct 'here are those who suppose that such o o
eclarations of altachmen, impose an OBJ it
gallon on their friend which Cannot be u
sisted or violated. The gentleman. I
hose province il is first to make such a
sclosure, considers that when he has u
me this. he has secured by right his OBJ -,
ct. But not so. The lady NAV be wholly o. o.
prepared for such an event. II is true a'
ch disclosure on the part of the gentle .,
an, imposes certain duties on the female W
ler circumstances are such as render C. C
engagement impossible, she is bound by IL IL
cry principle TO acquaint him immc- III
'!ely with the fact, and keep the trans u: u;
iion secret. ai
If her circumstances are such, as 10 IN
lder it proper for her 10 enrer into
engagement, il is proper then
1t she make his proposals matter i'm
'dlate and serious attention, provided ira
is satisfied with his character and en-. %
Iains such an affection for him, as will of
der union with him happy. di,
J. A matrimonial engagement, then, is oil
ell the parties having made mutual dis sol
sures of affection for each other, in hal
w of such disclosures, bind themselves, or,
promises to become each others we'd. wa
companion for life. There must be srrt
,n1ract formed, in which The parties az!
dge themselves 10 each other for life, or SEQ e,
re can be no engagement, Nothing tin
rt of this can be accounted belro,h2 ma
at' and nothing more is necessary 10 its Grol
Iection. R.e*s I,.,
sdsefield S. c., May 1910. hay hay
and