Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1839-12-18

-s"8 " sess wen. ~ appcdib that ~" "Ao"--y =
Tuesday, some one consumed the whole day IN
writing letters TO different tradesmen and profess
sional gentlemen in this city, giving extensive orders
for all kinds and descriptions of goods to be sent TO
this Office; and requesting all sorts Of professional
gentlemen-pa lawyers, doctors. teachers, mu-
sicians dancing masters, and others-to call, prepa
ratory to requirement Of professional services
These letters notes numbe red half hundred
they were all written in the same hand, and in the
same style, on coarse paper, and all sent through
the post Office dire ting the dAeren, individuals to
whom they were addressed, 10 be punctaal in their
attendance at the Herald office, 81 Ann street, on
Wednesday, the llth instant, at eleven O'Clock,
precisely.
Accordingly about ii o'coc, whilst we were
quietly sitting at desk, the door Of our editorial
room was opened and in walked dark, dngy look
rng man, his arms and hands loaded with pieces of
IRON bars instruments, &C. necessary for repairing
crate. He very leisurely laid them down by the
fire p lace, and began TO work and to talk simutane-
| ously
| "This fire should not have been made here this
| morning"
"shouldn't it Z" we replied.
| 81 must take it all out" he rejoined.
"YouH do no such thing we continued.
"Then can't work at the CRATE"
Sand who wants you to work at it -
"Y,u sent for me to do it."
"Dd l p
"Yes; there's your note,'' handing the following:
HERALD OFFICE 81 Ann street, Dec. Q, 1889.
Mr. Bennett wiii be Obliged 70 Mr. -. to send
to repair the crate in the editorial Wednesday
ing at II o'clock Bring bars ard plenty Of tools"
sits hoax, my good fellow replied, no
such order sent from this Office"
s'Then wish ! could find the fellow who did
senc it. Id file his eye teeth for him." said the
blacksmith, as he gathered up his tools, and went
grumbling out ofthe room. The same moment that
his de parture, the entrance OF good look
ing, middle aged man, who came bustng in with
professional air, and quietly pulling large red mo-
unrolled the same, and displayed fearful array Of
nstru nens for amputaiing. scalping and scarifyng
els he up stairs or down? said the surgeon, for
he turned out to be.
ssUpon my seul, l don't know" was the answer.
"Will il be necessary to amputate ~ he continued
with very scientific shrug
"Thnt you must find out for yourself"
"Well, is be hurt badly
"Who do you meant
"The compositor that has received dangerous
wound, and that you sen: for me To attend.'
al sent for Your was the ejaculation.
eyes, here's your note, handing the following
HERALD OFFICE, a Ann street.
Dec. 10, 1885,
Mr. Bennett requests Mr. to come 10 this sf6ce in.
medstely to attend comroor who has received danger
wound Bring the requisite instruments smpaation
may be necessary.
alt is a hoax, Doctor; no one received wounds IN
this Office"
"Then l wish could find the fellow ont I'D am
putaie his ears, said the Doctor as be rolled up his
instruments. Before he left the room spruce look.
ing little man entered with very dlgniied sir and
bowling politely, exclaimed, Mr. Bennett, 1 presume
eyes, sir was the answer The little fellow
then knelt down It our feet, and taking Of our
boots on his knee, palled out some tape and rule,
remark,ng, Would you prefer fuc calf or mo.
rocco"
Neither"
You don't want thick cordovans?"
DO you wish rights and lefts7'
al wish to be left alone, and yos to right about
face and be off," II
"You sent for me, and here's tbs ORDER" handing
the following:
HERALD Orvfc1. 81 Ana street.
Mr. Bennett will Be Obliged Mr. Lsadsrman 10 send to
early Posshle Wednesday moraing, the Ilth
Pleas. let il bs before II O'Clock. A. NJ.
".lt's hoax, my good fellow; nobody but Ryder
"Then hope the writer has corns, and may wear
tight boots till he dies, said the shoemaker a he
left the room, and gave place TO a carman with
large demijohn IN his cart who asked il he would
set down the same in the middle Of the office.
"Mr. Lawrence says that he thinks you II find
that a. strong as ysu want it, said the carman.
Shall H." was the answer; "but perhaps you'll
be good enosght to say what il is"
"The aquafortis you sent for with this note -
HEsALD orncE, 81 Ans sraExI, DKc OH, 1899.
Mr. Bennett will Obliged 70 Mesr. Lawrence Keen aud
Co. TO dsnohn Ct strong squaoris, with bill
ee. Wednesday morning, the 18th ir' BY 10 o'clock
+" i sent Tor no aquaortis; 4 never use any; it's
hoax; Pm aQaafortis enough myself.
.Wsl I've got nothing to do with the hoax"
said the pertinacious carmap; "my orders are to
leave il here, and here shall leave IT,"
And il was with some difficulty that this literal
and faithful felsw could he persuaded remove the
demi. john, which he did, just Mr.. Parker, the
dancing master, made one Of his graceful bows.
"Good morning, Mr.. Bennett said Mr.. p.
Would you like to begin business this morning, or
wait till this afternoon"
81 begin business early every morning"
"Bui when do you wish me to teach you to dancer
eel want no teaching; / teach others 10 dance all
| the year round"
But you sent me nete to that effect; and my
daughters hurried me off before finished my break.
| fast for fear I should be too late"
"1t's hoax, MIR. Parker, never sent any such
note"
Well, ] hope the fellow who wrote il may have
to dance q hornpipe barefooted upon hot bricks
G God morning, Mr. Bennett"
He had scarcely left, before young from
the exec lent establishment Of Mr. Cox, entered the
room, and observed, !" Mr.. Bennett, presume 7"
"The came, cir"
Would yos prefer black or a beautiful invisible
green; We have some very Gne specimens Of both,
just imported"
(" You mean tea, Isupposs; I don't keep house.
1 board at the Aston"
"No, sir, the swit Of clothes you wrote about.
Would YOU with frock coat, or a dress coat T.
"Neither; dont want any clothes"
aYou sent this note for some, didn't you = hand
ing the following =