The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1839-05-29
SELECTED TALES.
From Benlley's Miscellany.
A WIFELOST BY KEEPING APARRo1


The saying hath it, Never speak before
children. Now parrots, like children are
of an initiative nature, and, in large letters,
we write upon this page the following eau
tion-NEVER SPEAK BEFORE PAR
RIOTS.
Major Muiiin-why did he keep a par
rot ?-lived next door to Miss Penelope
Crab. He was "a man Of metal She was
"a woman Of metallic influence, only of a
different quality. The mejor, mounted
with brass, was lined alas, With copper ;
while Penelope, golden faced, and golden
pockets--pockcts which, in the eyes Of
Muffin, held mines sf weallh--was the on
y daughter Of a FISH salesman, who, dying
a widower at good old age, left her the
mistress of herself aud his fortune. She
WAS now able to buy any thing she fancied,
and she thought of a husband.
Major Muffin had seen service, and was
now living upon his honor and half pay.
Being a military man, he swore Of course.
Penelope, on the contrary, was devout
minded, aud, being lady, she swore not,
excep, when she condemned the souls oi
the profane, which she did at least dozen
times dny.
As Major Muffin had no other depen-
dence than his half pay, he could not well
be called rich man. He was bachelor
Of forty. Penelope was wealthy, and Il
spius,er, while her age might be what a
bountiful Providence pleased, for Muffin
did not care. Now strange to say, the ma
jor had taken mortal dislike to the lady
next door--albeit he had only seen her
once or twice, and that in the perspective,
at the window-but still he disliked her
Her name sounded of ten years court
snip; while her surname, seemed n sign oi
going backward. But then her money
Report had trumpeted her thousands IN hi.
ear, and, after some natural qualms, Muf.
fin determined to lay siege to his next door
neighbor.
Miss Penelope Crab sat in her drawing
room pious Poll stood meekly is his cage
and, blinking his eyes, looking as if think.
ing Of nap. Penelope laid down her
book, WAITS Hymns" and leaned back
in her chair. Were her thoughts of Major
Muffin lie was certainly no, bad look.
ing man aud, being military man, and
a major, not bad catch for iishmonger's
daughter. She had often speculsted upon
the blessings Of getting married; yet,
strange to say, she had never bcea asked
This undoubtedly argued n want Of taste
in the gentlem.n. Could it be that they
thought her too lean, too old, or too holy
fer their earthly hopesl Penelope ~a'
pious, and her sauctity, was deep as we'll
In fact, Penelope was a walking evangelI.
cal magazine and as she sat IN her chair
wonld have made splendid illustration
for that excellent work. Major Muffin wa,
her ne,t door nei.hbor, aud she could no
help thinking she should have no objection
to become Mrs. Muffin. But they wer,
utter s;rangers-,hey had no; so much 81
spoken to each other And then sgsir
Penelope felt uneasy when she remember.
ed Deborah said lhs, Muffin, though ma.
jor, swore like a common trooper. She
shuddered, and taking up The book whicl
these thoughts had made her lay aside, wal
soon GU, Of sigh, Of earthly things, and bigt
in the clouds Of pisus alteration ys
strange to say, the words kept jumping q.
bout, and il spite Of herself spell, nothing