Maumee City express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1838-184?, 1839-08-24
From the New Orleans Picayune..

| NEW CoUNTRIfs.-A particular friend Of
ours at Batesville has furnished us with the
groundwork of the following account, show.
ing up the manner In which they do things
in the back part of the Ranunsack" couIs--
try.
| In one of the back counties lives big
man. named Nowels, a red hot democrat,.
and not over bounded with honesty. Rich
| in lands and tenements, mGaner than "gar
broth, and regardless what means he uses
to attain his ends, Vowels has always gang
| of sinks or strikers about him--men who
will do any thing and swear to any thing he
bids them. A short time since he obtained
a commission for one Of those tools as
"Jdcksack" of the Peace, or rather Justice
of the Peace. The fellows name was
Bumpy, an ignorant dolt, as destitute ol a
conscience as a crying hyena after seven.
day fast. On receiving his appointments
with tie governors name and seal to it,.
Blunpy swellei up with pride at once, felt
himself wonderfully elated and started orr,
his way home rejoicing.
| Arrived there he commenced strutting
and cutting dignilied swell about and
across his cabin.
"What has got into you Blumpy7" asked
his wife.
"Dont bother me-" said Blumpy.
"What are you galivhntng about in that
gh-falutng style for?' continued his wifee-
"Im made man" was the mysterious
answer.
Something has made you crazy, Blum--
n.y."
"Crazy! Look here" said the husband.
showing the commission, "look here, Mrs.
BIumpy-see this-I knew that keeping that
horse Champion would bling me out. lam
now Justice Of the Peace, and will be in the
Legislature next year, sure. Hadn't we
better put another story on the house, Sal
Iy?' continued the fellow, swelling like
frog and blowing like porpoise.
"In course we had. Maint strut too
BlumpyN
"Certainy--catch hold here" said her
husband, offering his arm. They were now
hard at it,strutting and "amplifying' about
the room. The children were astonished
at the mad pranks of their parents, and
thought they had found gold mine.-~
NANNY" said one of them, maint Istrut,
too, with you and dad"
"Set down, you rascal you," said Mrs..
Bunny. "Nobody is in office here, but
your dad and me-" at the same time knock
Ing the little BIumpy over with chunk.
Some days after this, and when Bumpy
had cooled off a little, the sold man" was
called uponto make his first appearance as a
justice, and try a case. Rigging himself
out in his Sunday got -the-tavern suit lie
was upon the spot in season. The case
was one in which his friend and patron was,
engaged-Vowels Us. Datem. 1t was On.
open account his master had made out
against Datem for sundry goods, wares and
merchandise, to which the latter demurred,.
Vowels opened the argument on his own
account in violent strain. Turning to Da--
TEN, the defen dant, he commenced with
"D--n you, do you dispute my accountr
You ,oont pay my bill, eh! Mr.. Blumpy,.
your honor, that rascal came 10 my house,
and made Jest as free as thought was hisn,
d-n him. He found my crib open, and he
marreAed into the corn. He eat my red
tongue, (bacon.) His wife faunts in my
calico, his pultas, (daughters) dance in my
p uaeUs, he drinks my ball face, fwhiskey),
like horse, and now he disputes The bill,,
the rascal. Esq. BIumpy, take your seat on,
that horse block, try him and give him
'goss'."
Blumpy took his seat with all the mock
dignity OF the sham duke in the "Honey
Noon" Not particle Of proof had been
adduced in favor of his patrons claim, but
that did not in the least alter his deesion,
which was as follows;
"S'eeing as how my friend Vowel's crib
has been open to Datem, the defendant, that
the plaintiffs calcoes has been worn by
Datem's wife, his prunells danced all to
smash by Datem's puits, and his ball-face'
swiled down by the defendant himself, in.
course he has got topay for them and fork
over my fees into the bargain. Them's the
courts sentiments"
) Judgment accordingly rendered against
Datem, and he was obligedt to foot the whole;
i bill,