Maumee City express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1838-184?, 1839-07-27
A YANKEE WEATHERING THE
LAW

SlTuHBe!
A YANKEE WEATHERING THE
LAW.
Tie true Yankee aptitude for expedients is
thus humorously described in the following
passage which we extract from Willi,'s
Al Abri, just published.
A third person is one of my neighbors
" bo can see nothing done without showing
cutter way" and who, sitting on a sill of
the barn, is amusing himself quite of his
own accord, with beheading, cleaning and
picking an unfortunate duck, whose leg
was acc denta ly broken by the fail. His
voluntary occupation is stimulated by nei-
ther interest nor good nature but simply the
itching to be doing something, which in one
shape or another, belongs to every genuine
Jonathan. Near him, in COW hide boots,
frock Of fustian, and broad brimmed sombre-
ro of coarse stiaw, stands, breathing from
about with the fail, the indiviual from whom
have stepped apart, and upon whose morn
lng's worth ofexistence you shall put phi
losopher's estimate.
presume my three hours labor might be
done for about three shllings-my mind,
meantime being enti 'ely occupied with what
| was about, calculating the number of
bushels to the acre, the price of corn farther
down the river, and between while discus.
sing the merits of patent corn shelter,
which he had abandoned for the more labo-
rious but quicker process Of threshng.
"Purty cute toolr' says the neighbor, gi-
wing the machine look out of the corner of
| h,t tnfN eli nuht
to come off ravin' distracted. 'Taiut no use
to eatit up in labor. Where was that got
out?"
at was invented in Albany, rather
think"
"Wal, I guess 'twant. 1t Varmont
notion. otthem green Montngers they're
a spiling the country. People wont work
when them things lay round. Have you
heern of a machine for huttonlng your gal
ewses behind?"
"No have not"
"Wal, I've been expecting ont. There
aint no other hard work they haint econo-
missed. IL them your hogs in the gard
ingT
Three vast porkers had nosed open the
gate during the discussion, and were ma
king the best of their opportunities. After
a vigorous chase, the latch was closed upon
them securely, and my neighbor resumed
his duck.
sis there no way of forcing people to
keep those brutes at home' asked my 81
5 lent tenant.
eyes, sir. The law provides that you
may shut them up. and send word to the
owners to come and take them away"
"Wal! t'sa chore, ifyou ever tried it, to
v catch hog, if he's middlin' spry and when
he's cotch, you've got to feed him by law
, till he's sent for;-and it don't pay, mis-
ter"
"But you charge for the feed" says the
r other.
"Pcsky little, tell ye. Pig folders
r cheap, and they don't pay you for carrying
ont to 'em nor for catching tie critters
r It's n losin' consarn."
r "Suppose shoot them"
"Sartin you can. The owner'll put hi
valy on it, and you can have as much porl
at that price as'll fill your barn. The hui
S neighborhood'll drive their hogs into you
= gardng."
: l saw that my neighbor had looked at tn
5 matter all round; but | was sur, from hi
C manner, that he )uld fencouraged, sugges
e remedy for the nuisance.
= IL would give bushel ofthat handsom
II corn " said I, "to know how to be rid
Z them.'
e "Bc so perlite as to measure it out, mis-
" tor, while head in that hog. iii show yo
a how the deacon kept them out of tn
a new buryin' ground while the fence wa
u buildn."
s. He had laid down the duck, which wa
by this time fairly picked, and stoud mt
ment looking at the three hogs, now leisure
- Is turning up the grass at the roadside
lie For a reason which did not OF the momer
N conceive, he presently made a dash at tn
lc thinnest of the three, hungry lookln
brute, built with nn approach to the grey
'e hound, and missed catching him by an arm
Or length. Unuckily for the hog, howeve
ID the road was lined with crooked rail fenc
n which deceived him with constant prom
ise of escape, by short turn; and by
: sklful heading off, and most hdustno'
chase of some fifteen minutes, he was co
rs nercd at last and secured by the hind leg.
Mt "a hog" said he, dragging him alon
n with the greatest gravity hates straigl
re line like plzen. Ifthe!'d run right in cen
at you'd never catch EN- in Datur. Like son
ed folks, amt it, Boy, fetch me scrimmag
" of them whole corn"
ut He drove the hog before him wheelba
all row fashion, into m open cow-pen, and p'
a mp the bars. The boy, his son who h'
;e, been waiting for him outside the oarl
j brought HIM few ears of ripe corn, al
ut as soon ms the lrog had recovered his brea
nd little, he threw him into the pen, al
W. drew out a knife from his pocket, which
an whetted on the rail before him.
", "Now, said he, as the vonc1ous amin
or unaccustomed to such appetizng food selz
wv ravenously on the corn. It's accordi
On to law to take up stray bog and feed hi
a aint it|
,st !" Certainly"
Ise BY this time the greedy creature beg
nd to show symptoms of choking, and
en- friend s design became clearer.
cd "And it's christian charity" he continu
ire letting down the bars, and stepping in as