Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1839-05-31
A TAvERN.KEEPER CIRCUMvENTED.


A TAVERN.KEEPER CIRCUMVENTED.
A short time since. the door of the coun
try inn was darkened by a we'll dressed
man of modest and unassumlng mein.
who requested food for his horse, and the
extra services Of the hostlcr, nasmuch as
the beast had been hardly driven. The
stranger had much the appearance Of an
intelligent farmer of moderate means, who,
though liberal perhaps, was never profuse.
After attending to the welfare Of his horse,
he entered the bar.room.
You may give me- said he 10 the land
lord, something to eat, but merely cold
bite. My business is very urgent. so any
thing will serve my turn Tor the present.
Scarcely moment had elapsed after his
order was issued. ere the gingIiug of a small
bell summoned him to the dining ROOM
which in ordinary places, would have been
termed no more than bedroom The
fare placed before him, although a cold
bite, as lie had ordered, in the strict sense
Of the term, was yet meagre in the ex
treme. The remains Of a cold dish of
boiled pork and potatoes, and a glass Of
water, were all that had been appropriated
to his use.
Swallowing few hasty morsels. he
| again presented himself at the bar, and de.
mandcd his, bill.
Half Dollar Tor your dinner, SAID Con,
face.
'Half dollar! I seldom dispute q tav.
ern bill, sir, but for such as have had, the
charge is on imposition
"A meal is meal said tho landlord,
and that is our regular price
ut is small sum to quarrel about oh
screwed the traveller. but l prefer to be
pilfered in a manly manner
"A meal is a meal again returned the
landlord, in a surly manner; we always
charge that, whether man eat more OF
less, good or bad
Perceving alteration to be useless, the
stranger paid the bill, called for his horse
and rode away with the muttered exclama
ton that he would sometime have an ade.
quate revenge.
HIS destination was about fifteen miles
distant. After transactlng his business, he
+ was about starting the next day on his re.
turn. He had mentioned the circumstance
to a friend, and that person answered tina,
the tavern was notorious for lis extrava
giant charges, but hat he could find him 9
man who could put the landlords maxim
"a meal is meal, to thorough test. Ac
cordngly, before setting out, our traveller
was introduced to his companion, who hat
ab.,alned in order to do justice to the en-
terlaInment of his employer. He was t
, be paid the expense of his dinner and Jour
, ney. The adventurer was a burly, goot
, humored fellow, something of wag, AM
, extremely shrewd. He was wihal mos
D incorglble glutron. Eating and telling
I large stories were his enoyments. II
was fortunately an entire stranger TO thu
4 inn keeper
:, Landlord said the traveller, Il owe thi
,, man, Mr.. John Jones, dinner, which / los
by very foolish bet. Furnish him one and
u will pay for it,
'What will you have'' asked the landlor
e of Mr. Jones.
A roast turkey, sir
r The landlord started but issued his order
U to the occupants of the kitchen. They re
J, CURED some little time TO comply with the oil
g, ders. The landlord and Jones soon mad
O themselves old acquaintanccs.
n Rather red face that Of yours. landlord
d said Jones, 'Ihavnt seen any thing that look
a ed like spring before fine blossoms, sir.
:. you are rather a crooked character, NJ
,, Jones'.
a Rather. sir but not quite so crooked as
y tree once knew 1t was the tallest butternl
" ever saw. Standing close TO it one day in
III thunder storm, saw squirrel on one Of III
e topmos, branches The lightning struck tn
n same branch about three feet above him-tf
d, squirrel started-lhc lightning had to folio
|y the grain, and the squirrel went straight dow
rs So confounded crooked was that tree, sir, th'
Ie the squirrel by my watch, got to the botto
,e precisely three minutes before the Lightning
THAT'S lie, exclaimed tho landlord.
a "A lie true, sir, ,ruo as any story ever wa
10 ! afterwards saw that tree cut down and mac
n, into rails for a hog pasture. The hogs won
,. crawl through twenty times in day. and
~ thundorin' crooked were them rails that eve
:" time tho hogs got out they found themselves
the pasture again"
~ Before Jones had time to relate anoih
e. story the bell rang for dinner. The turk'
ne was there, hanked on one side by hugo dI
IN Of potatoes, and on the other by condimen
cd of various kinds.