The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1839-07-30
MANAGIN G A HUSBAND.

= This is branch of female education too muc
neglected; it ought TO be taught with 'Frenc
Italian, and the use of the Globes To be sur
as Mrs Glass most sensibly observes, first cate
your hare and you must also first. catch you
husband. But we will suppose him caught
and therefore to be roasted, boiled stewed, c
jagged. All these methods of co oking hav
their matrimonial prototypes. The roaste
husband is done to death by the fair temper, tn
boiled husband dissoves in the warm water
conjual tears the stewed husband becomes due
tie by the application of worry, and the jugge
husband is fairly subdued by sauce and spice
Women haveall natural genius for having ihei
own way; still the finest talents, like the fines
pisantry in the world,' require cultivation. w
recommend beginning soon.
'When Sir VIM. L---was setting off oil
his wedding excursion, while the bride was sub
siding from the pelluced whiteness of white sat
in end blode, into the delicate darkness Of tn,
lilac silk travelling DRESS the lady's maid rushed
! INTO MS presence with torrent,not Of tears, bu
ofwords. His favorite French valet had pu
out all the bandboxed that had been previously
stored with all feminine ingenuity in the car
rage vi course, on the happestsday of hi.
HE Slr William could not hnt fault or hest
tate dislike and he therefore ordered 'ths inter
estlng eXiles to be returned. 'Ver VEL Sare
WIlIiam,' said the prophetic gon,leman's gentle
man, you let yourself be band boxed now, YOU
be band-boxed all your life"
The prediction of the masculine Cassandra OF
the curlingirons was amply fulfilled Poor Sir
Wllliam! one of his guests, gentleman whose
wits might have belonged to a Leeds clothier
Tor they were always wool gathering, confound
Ell the bridal with one of those annual festivals
when people cruelty give You Joy of having made
one step more to your grave, this sad guest, ct
his wedding literally wished him many happy
returns of the day! The polite adnitter of the
quite suffi cient without any returns,
Now, we DO consider it sometime hard 1to
drag at each remove such u very preceptible.
chain; it might as well have been wreathed, or
gllded, or even pnchbecked. friend ,ot mine
Mrs Frances Caldwell, does the thing tnuch;bet-
Ter. we shall give domestic dialogue in Cur
ION street, by was of example to the rising gen
Grafton.
Il have been ut Baldoe's this morning, nv
love- said Mrs Caldwell while helping the soup:
'he has two lovely Sevre tables, portraits of
Louis the XIVth's beauties; Won must let me
have them FOR the drawing room, they are such
loves.
81 really do wonder,' exclaimed Mr. Caldwell
in his most decisive tone, 'what you can want
with any thing more ia The drawing room. l
am sure it is us much as any one can do to get
across them us it is. [ will have no more mon
ey spent on such trash
This fish is capital, The sauce is chef 'eu.
Cre," exclaimed the lady, fastening to change
the DISCOURSE; do let me recommend it,
Dinner proceeds, enlived by series of deli
cate attentions on the part of the WIFE One
hing is advised; another, another which she s
we'll aware is her husbands aversion playfullv
orbidden, with-My dear Francis, you are SO I
Ours Gr q t -considerconsider les hor-
Dinner declines into DESERT and Mr. Caldwell
eats his walnuts, pcacd
ssBy no hand as you may guess,
But that Of Fairly Faif,''
alias, Mrs Caldwell's very pretty fingers. To
wards the middle Of his second glass OF port, he
'erceives that there are tears in his wife's soft
blue eyes-whch become actual sobs as he
progresses in the third glass.
81 see how it is, Laura; well you shall have
he tables.
The tables = cries the lady, with an air
as the school boy snid ofancient Gaul, quartered
nto three halves of dIsdain,4 wounded feelings,
and tenderness: have really lost all wish Tor
hem. 1t was of you, Francis, that was think
ing. Good man! can you weigh few paltry
pounds against the pleasure of gratifying your
wife. 1 see have lost my hold Of your nttec-
lions. What have / done? | whose whole lie
has but one happiness, that of pleasing you!
We will not pursue the subject TO its conjuai
close Of tears and kisses; suffice TO say, that next
lay ,he tables are sent home: not given but on
" accepted as a favor ,,
Now this, to use an Americanism,is is "a dreadful
beautiful way of dong business we serious
" recommend its consideration as study to our
female readers. Scolding does much, for as me
old riddle says, 'any thing is what
"Manya man who has wife,
Submits to for quiet life.
But, fair half of the world. out Of whose very
remains The rose, as the eastern proverb has 1t,
was formed al the creation -flatiery; that mon
ey of the heart, is the true beart of sway. In
stead of divide, our new stale secret is Halter
to reign.-C Court Journal.
Dignity of Labor-lIow often do we see the
s,arched anndy or would be literateur, speaking
contemptuously of the laborer, although some of
the most ilustrions men have followed the
dough 'Io O or lived gaugers Does God hold the la
borer in light esteem? He placed the first hu-
man being-whose sonl had not as yet, been un-
defled by sin, whose frame was unin)ured ny
crime, whose intellect was free from error
in q garden. which he was ordered to cultivate
Ayei and He to whom angels ministered-whose
Godhead was yelled in flesh, whose parent was
the controller of worlds and creations destiny
lived fer wears carpenter.