The native American., 1839-01-12

]. DOWNING, Major,
Downingvil!e Militia, I'd Brigade.
TO CONGRESS.
Uncle Sam has requested me to give YOU nv
notions about the abolition matter that now is ta-
king up more of your time than he thinks he can
afford to pay for, seeing that other matters want
attending to. have never had but one notion
about this abolition matter--and that is, that it is
one of that sort that gifts into the noodles Of old
women OF both sexes, on account of their having
nothing else there at the time to occupy them, and
then they 60 to cachiing and that sets other folks
caokHng, and so arter a spell all get cacking
till something else gets uppermost, and then ano-
ther egg is laid, and then comes another cacking
about the new egg-and SO it goes on from time
to eternity.
1t was jist so with Anti-Masonry spell ago.
Years have come and gone-General Washing
ton was mason, and SO was pretty much all our
good folks, and nobody ever troubled themselves
about the matter-crops come along one arter the
other, and all naur work d without any trouble
about masonry or anti-masonry--whe all at once
up rose an awful cackle, and it seem'd for spell
that if folks didn't stir themselves that all creation
would, arler the coming crops, come to stand
still-the Union melt away like snow ball in
! June-and the pigs git into the corn fields. There
was my old neighbor Deacon Doolifle, one OF
the spriest old chaps in raising early garden sass,
and the best pumpkins in the hull county round
"a man allow'd to be SO knowing in most mat
ters, that it was common saying that whoever
bought the Deacon for fool would lose money
by him-he heard the "anti-masonic" cdkle and
took up the same notion. calrd OH him one day
and instead of finding him in his garden, (which
was all overrun with weeds) found him reading
aaJn
Mayor" says he-s'the end of creation has come
at last'-and he fetched deep groan-''it is only
! wonderful to me, says he, 'that the country has
| prospered as it has ever since the Independence
with SO many INasons in t-and we have all ben
so blind too, all the while to the sarn destruction
! all around us-Lord have mercy on u.s." says he
and with that old Miss DoolitLle and all the
young ones set up an awful howl as if the last
day had come sure enuf. The Deacon however
had one thing TO comfort him, and that was he
said that there was jist enuf 'an-masons" left to
work out election Of a President and Con-
gress who had't ben on a shot Gridiron---and
he didn't mean to raise another Potatoe or Ear Of
Corn or Punkin till that was done. left the Dea
con sitting on that egg, and the next time | seed
him, was right in about the middle of the United
States Bank war--more than year arter, and
the times got to be prity pinchy. dropt inupon
/
grass among tile Cockumbers. | twisted and
turnd all matter and things of public natur, but
the Deacon never said one word about the ma
sons and anti-masons--it was prtty clear that the
Deacon had enuf Of humbug--and then, agin,
the last time | was down that way, right in the
thickest Of ".1boHfion Pentions'--but the Dca-
con wasn't to be caught but once-and see he
| had his eye teeth cut--'.things 20 well enough
for me, Maj Or says he, and if any man catches
me negecting my grounds agin to cackle with
him over any egg he chooses to throw in my nest,
he is amazingly mistaken. why says he, "a
man would have nothing else to do all his life
time if he follow'd up all the idle fanatics and
sometimes political vagabonds who are eternally
getting up one skeme arter anothef-frst masonry
aud anli-masonry---then nullifcation- then Banks
then nothing but gold--then abolition and Sub
Treasury, and the Lord knows what next-and
telling US from time to time, that any one of these
If not attended to, to the neglect Of every thing
else, would most sartanly end in sending every
|created thing to etarnal smash"
But, says l, Deacon, how do you manage
Through em all! "Wel,'' says he, major, Ill
tell you-and have had leelle experience in
the matter as you know in the first place, | have
sopt all cackling-when my work is done, and
have no business on hand in family matters,
read the Bible spell--and then | take look into
the Constitution Of the United States OCCASION
ally, and at election times select out the best ant
honesest men can find to vote for-and if every
body would do the same thing, my notion is ont
would bring things out of all trouble and ge
every thing TO work smooth and right, and WI
should hear no more Of these dreadful things
that some folks are talking about that are to brns
ruin on the country" But, says |, here is trou
bic now in Congress about this plagy abolition
i. -t.-1-
and another set say they hadn't ought to be re
ceiv'd at all; how is that to be managed says |
"Well," says he, "Major, I'll tell you, woul
take EN- all in, but without stopping other bus
ness TO read en- Just yet, for suppose they ar
pritty much all alike, and then would say that a
soon as they are done coming, SO as to give all
fair cI,ance-Pd appoint committee who shon'
agree to read EN- all over carefully, and see