The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1839-01-01
Your friend,
J. DOWNING, Major,
Downingville Militia, ID Brigade.
TO CONGRESS.

Uncle Sam has requested me to give you
my notions about the abolition matter that now
is taking up more of your time than he thinks
he can afford to pay for, seeing that other
matters want attending 10. have never had
but one notion about this abolition matter
and that is, that it is one of that sort that gifts
into the noodles Of old women Of both sexes
on account of their having nothing else there
at the time TO occupy them, and then they 60
to cackling and that sets other folks cackling
and so arter a spell all get cackling till
something else gets uppermost, and then
another egg is laid, and then comes another
cackling about the new egg---and SO it goes
on from time to eternity.
1t was jist so with Anti-Masonry spell
ago. Years have come and gone--General
Washington was mason and so was pretty
much al! our good folks, and nobody ever
troubled themselves about the matter---crops
come along one arter the other and all natur
work'd without any trouble about masonry or
anti -masonry---when all at once up rose an
awful cackle and it seemd for spell that if
folks didn't stir themselves that all creation
would, arter the coming crops, come to stand
still---the Union melt away like show ball
in June---and the pigs git into the corn fields.
There was my old neighbor Deacon Doolinle
one Of the spriest old chaps in raising early
garden sass and the best pumpkins in the hull
county round---a man allow'd 10 be so know
ing in most matters, that it was common
saying that who ever bought the Deacon for
fool would lose money by him--he heard
the "anti masonic" cackie and took up the
same notion. call'd on him one day and
instead of finding him in his garden, (which
was all overrun with weeds) found him read
ing anti-masonic addresses. "lts all over
with us Major" says he" the end Of crea-
ton has come at last"-and he fetched deep
groan-"it is only wonderful to me" says he
that the country has prospered as it has ever
since the Independence with so many MaSons
in it-and we have all ben so blind too, all the
while to the sartn destruction all around us
Lord have mercy on u.s. says he--and with
that old Miss Doolitte and all the young ones
set up an awful howl as if the last day had
come sure enuf. The Deacon however had
one thing to comfort him, and that was he
said that there was jist enuf anti-masons"
left to work out an election of a President and
Congress who hadt ben on shot Gridiron,
and he didn't mean to raise another Pota-
toe or Ear of Corn or Punkin till that was
done. left the Deacon sitting on that egg,
and the next time | seed him, was right in
about the middle of the United States Bank
war,-more than a year arter, and the times
got 10 be pritty pinchy. dropt in upon the
Deacon-I found him hoeing out some blue
grass among the Cockumbers. | twisted and
turn'd all matters and things of public natur,
but the Deacon never said one word about the
masons and ant-masons-it was pritty clear
| II, ~. lal go, h,,,, and
then, agin, the last time | was down that
way, right in the ,hickest of " Abolition Pc
htions"-but the Deacon wasn't to be caught
but once-and see he had his eye teeth cut
-" things 90 we'll enough for me Major" says
he, and if any man catches me neglecting my
grounds agin to cackle with him over any egg
he chooses to throw in my nest, he is amazing
ly mistaken. "Why," says he :" a man would
have nothing else 10 do all his life time if he
follow'd up all the idle fanatics and some
times political vagabonds who are eternally
getting up one skeme arter another-first
masonry and anti-masonry-th notification
then Banks--then nothing but gold-then
abolition and Sub-Treasury, and the Lord
knows what next-and telling us from time to
time, that any one of these if not attended to,
to the neglect of every thing else, would most
sartainly end in sending every created thing
to etarnal smash"
But, says |, Deacon how do you manage
through EN- all !! "Well," says he, "Major,
I'll tell you-and have had eete expe-
rience in the matter as you know: in the first
place | have stopt all cacking-when my
work is done, and have no business on hand
in family matters. read The Bible a spell
and then take look into the Constitution of
the United States occasionally, and at election
times select out the best and honesest men
| can find to vote ior-and if every body would
do the same thing, my notion is we would
bring things out Of all trouble and get every
thing to work smooth and right, and we
should hear no more of these dreadful things
that some folks are talking about that are to
bring ruin on the country" But, says /, here
is trouble now in Congress about this pagy
abolition question-one set bring in bushels
of petitions, and another set say they hadn't
ought to be receiv'd at all-how is that TO be
managed, says "Well," says he, "Maior,
III tell you, would take EN- all in, but with
out stopping other business to read EN- Just
yet, for suppose they are pritty much all
alike, and then would say that as soon as
they are done coming, so as to give all a fair
chance-Pd appoint a committee who should
agree to read EN- all over carefully, and see If
there is any thing in EN- to show that any part
OF the Constitution is violated by not granting
what the petitions ask for-nuT if on The con-
trary, any one of all them petitions asks Con-
gress to do any thing contrary to the clear
meaning Of the Constitutions it was UNDER
stood when it was made and agreed to-then
| would call that member Of Congress, who
offered such petition right up and give him a
copy Of the Constitution and tell him to git