Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1839-05-02
HE OLD MAIDS FIRST OFFER.


must tel you tie heart-rending story
II have long wished 20 do so, aud the
time Is at length arrived.-(Here her
voice dropped into confidential wLis-
.per.l Poor dear Major ogilyie, who is
now dead and couc-hcigh hol-had
been long showing me marked attention;
in fact. aging las addresses. though lie
never made his declaration; when one
morning, aflen having sung me a song of
Farinelli's-the music believe was
Cluck's - an you skouiJ have heard the
Major. he lras such s.. &c, singer VOL
The Doctor had gone out 10 buy new
invented fish sauce. poor dear man
he de- like 10 have his fish well dressed
Ard | remember he took Francbene,
my !i,ile beauty Of q spaniel. with him, so
that the Major and were eli a!orc in the
breakfast parlor, hen looking beseccLing.
ly IN my face. be suddenly went down on
one knee before me-ah there raS gal
lantry ~ those daysl-and taking my
hand. which be tenderlv pressed, made a
passionate avowsl OF his love felt
myself blushing crimson. when, at ,his
egIlaiins moment just IS was going 10
utter palpiia,ins confession Of my par
TALLY, my eyes uegsn 10 twinkle-l felt a
tingling ia my nose, my moLh opened
in spite o. myself, and I sneezed Ike an
explosion Of gunpowGoT rish; in bis up
turned and imploring face Now, do tell
me lady Susan. yon know how frez.sa-
dortsly always sneeze. did sou erer--of
ell the awkward occurrences
Tee Major started. as we'll he nj ~.
bat recovered himself-so did The csz-
ed az ne tentcriy and expeciingly. and
! was just about TO relieve him from his
suspense. when sneezed with second
and louder explosion. that seemed TO shat
ter tie nose from ny face.
This was a confusion 90 me and The Ma.
jor. bat still holding ny Imprisoned hand.
bu; looking dow 10 sycid the
shower bath HAT was uninlei'ionsliy
scattering round ne. hc swore that he ne.
yer would Use ron his knees al ssd
pronounced bis doom. uttered a heart.
felt 'irh, and the suit avowal vas iusi
trembling on tie tip Of niS tongue. when
Tel. something on The zap of ny nose -
Lady Sasan-Lsdy Sussn--ii Nss begin
ming 10 bleed i--e'id you ereri--of az lbe
distressing moments
struggled 20 9iibiraw ~ hand. that
might &C., ny handkerchief. a. action
y bich The Major attributed 10 coyncss.
and therefore did but hold Il more Gfm
lv. Ia tho contest. after fsighifully spot
ting nv tabbinet silk coen. three very
large drops Of blood lsll upon the Majors
wrist lie started up--i closed NY EYES
and sunk IN aehair. overwhelmed With
confusion. SuppoNng bal iain'sd. tic
Major hastily seized large tumbier a.
= alter and threw hin ny face. AZ such
az unexpected sousing, scfeausd viih
surprise and terror. The Mafsrchal
pos der Vhich wofe--I was alWsys ~
mons lor nv eder--a.ingiin With che
water and blood converted nv face inh
a hideous spcciaole. when. Just Al tb1t
moment. iie door few open. add Fran.
cheue thinking hes mistress vas killed
lev IT The poor dear Major. sud tii n
large monihfpi ont Of be lei. leg while
ihe good horors'nckeh Doctor suffered
fbe bottle n ncWly invented fsh sauce 60
fall from Bic baud and be snashed 70 PIE.
cfs on The floor Nov dearest Lady Su-
san consider what must have been nv
fetInes did vOu rrfrf--such q srcne