The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1839-09-04

my unCles natcO the monks. l naItu the
convent in which was immured hated the
world and almos, hated myself for being. as
! supposed so very hating and hateful an ami
NAL.
When | bad nearly attained the age Of l6.
was suffered. on one occasion, 10 accompany
one of The brethren on a mission to a distant
part Of the country. We soon left behind us
the gloomy valley in which had been pent up
for so many years, and after short journey a.
mong the mountains, emerged upon the volup-
tuous landscape that spreads itself about the
Bay Of Naples. Heavens how transported
was !, when stretched my gaze over vast
reach of delicious sunny country, gay with
groves aud vineyards with Nesuylons rearing
its iorked summit to my right; the blue Medi-
teranean 10 my lett, with its enchanting coast,
studded with shining towns and sumptuous
villas and Naples, my native Naples, cleaning
far, in the distance,
Good God was this the lovely world from
which had been excluded | had reached
that age when the sensibilities are in all their
bloom aud freshness. Mine had been checked
and chilled. They now burst forth with the
suddenness, of a retarded spring. My heart,
hitherto unnatually shrunk up, expanded in
to a riot OF vague but delicious emotions. The
beauty OF nature Observation-Disclosures me.
The song of the peasants their cheerful looks
their happy Wocatlons; the picturesque gaye-
~ of their dresses; their rustic music their
dances; all broke upon me like witchcratt.-
My soul responded 10 the music, my heart
danced IN my bosom. All the men appeared
amiable, ali the women lovely.
returned 10 the convent, that is To say, my
body returned, but my heart and soul never en-
tered there again. ! could not forget this
glimpse OF beautiful and happy world-a
world suited To my natural character. | had
felt SO happy while in il so different being
from what felt myself when in the convent
that tomb Of the living. ] coutrasted the coun-
tenances of the beings | had seen. full of fire
and freshness, and enjoyment, with the pallid,
leaden lack-ustre vIsages of the monks the
dance with the dronns chant of the chapel
| had before ioundth exercises Oft the closture
wearsome, they now became lnlolerahle. The
dull round OF duties wore away my spirit my
nerves became irrltated by the fretlul ,inklng
of the convent bell, cvermore diuging among
the mountain echoes, eyormore calling me from
my repose at night, my pencil by day, TO at
: tend 10 some tedious aud mechanical ceremony
OF devotion. .--
|. Z! W. MS ol a nAtLre 90 tnednaie~ Ioig with
{ out puttmg my thoughts into action. My spir
10 it had been suddenly aroused, aud was now al
5 awake within me- | watched an opportunity
VI,
way on foot to Naples. As | entered its ga,
r and crowded streets, and beheld the variety ant
stir Of life around me, the luxury Of palaces, th,
I splendor OF equIpages, and the paDtOnImlc ami
nation Of the motley populace. | seemed as
+ awakened TO world OF enchantmcnt, and sol
{ emnly vowed that nothing should force me bach
10 the monotony OF the cloister.
} had TO inquire my way TO my fathers pal
ace, for had been young on leaving ii that
knew not its situation. ] found some difficult
ty in getting admitted to my fathers presence
for the domeslIcs scarcely knew that there was
such being as myself IN existence, and my
monastc dress did not operate in my favor
Even my father entertained no recocctons OF
my person. | told hun 10Y name, threw my
self at hls feet, inplorcd his forgiveness and
entreated that | might not be sent back TO the
convent.
lie received me with the condescenion Of a
patron, rather than the iundness Of a parent
! Listened patiently, but coldIy, TO my tale OF
m0nastc grievances aud dsgusts aud promised
to think what else could be done for me. This
GOODNESS blighcd aud drove back all the frank
affection Of my nature, that was ready to spring
forth at the least warmth Of parental kindness.
All my early feelings towards my father revived.
| again looked up to him as the stately. mag
aglnation, and felt as If ] had no pretensions to
his sympathies. My brother engrossed all his
: care and love; he inherited his nature, and
carried himself towards me with a protecting
rather than lraterual air. II wounded my
pride, which was great. ! could brook cOnde
scenuon from my father. for looked up TO him
with awe, as a superior being; but | could not
brook patronage from q brother, who felt wa.
intellectually my inferior. The servants per
celyed that ] was an unwelcomr intruder in the
paternal mansion, aud, menial-lIke, they treated
me with Deglect Thus bafIlcd at every point,
my affections outraged wherever they would
/. attach themselves, ! became sullen, silent, and
depending. Ny feelings driven back upon
myself, entered and preyed upon my own heart.
t remained for some days an Unwelcome guest,
rather than a restored son, ia my fathers house.
was made, by wrong treatment, strange even
to myself, and they Judged me from my strange.
ness.
, was startled one day at the sight Of one Of
: the monks Of my convent gliding out Of my ia
! ther's room. lie saw me, but pretended not to
- notice me, and this very hypocrcy made me
. suspect something. | had become sore and
r susceptible in my feelings, every thing inflicted
wound on them. Ia this state Of mind was
I treated with marked disrespcct by pampered
: mlnion. the favorite servant Of my father. All
2 the pride and passion Of my nature rose in an
D instant, and ] struck him TO the earth. My
{ father was passing by; he stopped not To IN
. quire the reasOO, nor indeed could he read the
e long course Of mental suferlngs, which were
{ the real cause. He rebuked me with anger
aod scorn he summoned all the hanghtbess
e Of his nature and grandeur Of his look to give
p weight to the contumely with which he treated
n me. felt that / had not de-eued it. ! fell
{ that J was not appreciated. felt that | had
e that within me which merited better treatment
D Ny heart swelled against fathers Injustice
a | broke through my habtual awe OF him re-
: piled 10 him with impotence. Ny hot spiri
e flushed IN my cheek snd kindled in my eve
y bat my sensitive heart s~elled as quickly, aDc
2 before had half.vented my passion felt il
suhocsted and quenched in my tears. Ny IA
, thsr was incrD.ed at this turning of IN. worm