Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1839-12-10
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The PATRON war at Albany Is lucky occarrsnes
Tor the loafers who have nothing to do in New York
ltappears that the Dutch farmers are determined to
pay no dues to MIR. Van Rensselaer,, in the form OF
quit rent, and determined to resist the principle
of entaiimeAt involved in the present claim upon
them. The Sheriff Of Albany has made two on
slaughts into their territory in the hills, with one
thousand men, but could not subdue them. They
are entrenched in the hills in very strong postons
they have barreadosd the only pass iato their dom-
MONS with feed timber. pine logs, trees, sc, sc.
they have piled tar barrels by the way side ready
to light and send into the encmys ranks; they have
artillery to enflade the road for half me are well
armed, and nearly all mounted.
Under these circumstances the Commander-in-
Chiefof the forces, Governor Small Potatoes, was
afraid to call out the military in and near Albany Tor
fear they should refuse to stay called. He, there
fore, has made a requisition upon New York, for
1900 men to march, at two hours notice, to Albany
and collect the black mail, the poultry, pigs, corn,
turkeys, small potatoes, sour circuit and cabbages
The Dutch farmers have begun this regular Agrarian
war, and the New York Militia Braves are either to
lay their bodies on the Van Rensselaer, estate, or
come back stuffed full Of glory, turkeys, and small
potatoes.
This is certainly funny war, and in furtheran
Of the Governors valorous call upon Major General
Sanford, the Generals Of the LIST and 9th brgades Of
New York State Artillery, we're ordered to meet in
the ball room, at Centre Market last night, to drill
and to make preparations for war Of determination
upon the poultry and pigs in the Hallibeck hills Ac
cordingly the tea table Of many brave militia
l. oked gloomy last night; whilst the wife pour
ing out the tea, securing the kettle, the hero
securing his muske,. Despite the rain, hundreds OF
au5h fail hor hrov RI
and fools turned out and made the best Of their
way to Centre Market; and if collecting poultry be
all that is required Of them, never more
likely set for such a campaign hungry look
Ing lot offelows one gathered together |;
if they don't eat every chicken, turkey, pig and
small potaioe they collect their looks belle them
At the Centre Market the preparatory scenes
funny enough; the large room crammed so full OF
all sorts Of fellows that there to turn
little Colonel jumped up box in the middle Of
the roeas, and cried order," at which every body
laughed Then the military were ordered to fall in;
the first company looked respectable, but the ba-
lance were regular set Of Guys; Falstaff s men
were gentlemen TO them; some had muskets, some
had sticks, some had sabres, SEINE had small swords,
some had umbrellas, and some had nothing. Some
had great coats some had jackets, were in full
uniform, some were in half uniform, some had CT
items clothes aud soldiers caps; had soldiers
clothes and citizens caps a great many inter-
cstng looking young gentlemen had pantaloons that
did not fit them, with half as much gold lace as
.breeches; some had cooked hats, with white fea-
theirs their heads, aud had white feathers in
their tails. An old deal table was in the centre of
the room, spread over with newspapers for a table
cloth, broken glass and pitcher Of cold water,
with rusty sword lay thereon. At the end Of the
three brass cannon, though how the devil
they got there, or what they placed there for
no one could tell. After hour spent in laughing
and talking about the " small potatoe war; they
were squeezed into line. Sixth Brigade, attention!"
shouted good looking. little fat man, who would
make most celIent target; J" right facel' Half
OF them turned to The 1sft. DIN II, that amt
right; all turn one way, ! don't whether it's
right or left" They shifted positions. " Now,
then" said the fat man; "order armsv' Some put
their muskets the floor, ard some cried out, il
you please. adjutant, what are we TO do with our
swords!" put the points into the groundv "I
can't turn miae without striking il into this mans
breeches" Never mind, keep it up; march."-
And march they did; aud such marching we never
saw before, and never expect to see again; they
formed sort Of hoiie,c triangular square, sciA
round corners. Keep square corners" cried the
little man. captain, you don't make square cor
nsrs." On IL, how could make round cor
nerT' At this there was general laugh and gen.
eral halt, and cry Of /" clear the ROOM Four
fierce looking volunteers then tried to clear the
room about nine o'clock. Then there was a great
row many got in that wanted to get out; and many
were kept out that wanted to get in. And after
another hour spent in some tom foolery Of this
kind they ALL to the classic language Of one Of
the colonies, disbursed, to meet again today 10 be
ready to march in steamboats, at two hours notice.
This will be great war were getting very
dull Governor Stewards time was nearly out, and
and no chaucc for campaign he must make the
most ofthis /" small potato - he'll never get
another such a chance TO immortaliz ehimself. Ge-
nerals Sanford and Morris must also make the most
Of this their first bloody upon pigs and poultry;
and f friend General Morris should survive the
awful carnage, he must write the chivalrous deeds
OF the small potato war in the hills of Hollibeck;
he must address his troops Bruce did at Bannock
burn
"Nows the day ssd nows the hour
Sec the pgs and poultry lower
See approach the Patroons power,
S@aii potatoes we ~
Should General Sanford survive, he must have a
drama Of the affair enacted in the new metropolitan
theatre. And as this is the very age Of military
perhaps we may run General Morris and
General Sandford for president and vice president
II their men are successful in robbing henroosts
49, r.