The Yazoo City Whig and political register., 1839-09-20
CLIPPINGS.

i
TIE sDay to sOin WomGn's heart. Let
your hair hang in superfuous ringlets over
your neck and shoulders; never suffer ra-
zor to touch your face; squeeze yourself
into coat of mulberry cloth; put on vest
stripped with green, yellow and red; pants
checked with blue, crimson and purple;
shove your feet into pair Of boots with the
heels at least three inches high; dandle
little black cane, tipped with brass; huge
brass ring on your little finger, and you will
be the lion of the day, and win the ladies
hearts. Richmond Compiler.
A REAsoN.-'Why,' said a politician to
his intemperate neighbor, don't you take
a regular quantity every day-set dOUn a
stake, that you will 60 so far and no farth-
err q do,' replied the other, but always
set it down so far of, that get drunk be-
fore get to it,
There is sign post on the road near Lake
Erie, which bears the following inscription,
"When this post is six feet under water,
this road will be impossible"
The following toast was given at cele-
bration of the 4th at Canton, Ohio:
BY H. Griswold The White House at
WGshingtOn-May it no longer be used as
Martins box.
A PATRIARCH "A gentleman aged n,
having in company his sixth wife, and being
the father of 26 children, passed through
this city yesterday for the west. Verify,
his ideas of emigration came late in the
day Buffalo Jour.
A candidate for medical honors, having
thrown himself almost into fever from his
asked by one of the professors-"Ho would
you sweat a patient for the rheumatism?"
He replied, "I DOUld send him here TO be
examined"
Woman, all the world over, are uniformly
gentle, courteous and polite. Leydard, the
traveller. says: 81 never addressed myself
in the language ofsdecency and friendship
TO a woman, whether civilized or savage,
without receiving decent and friendly
answer"
Genuine Vegetable Pius.-A medical
practitioner at Andover, gave one of his pa
tients box of pills for some illness with
which he was afflicted. When about to
take one he thought it felt rather hard, and
was tempted by curiosity to divide it in
halves, when he discovered to his astonish-
ment that his pills s0ere peas. After being
deprived of the magnesia with which they
were enveloped, they were planted in earth,
and are noiO actually grOwing.
''I've got a bill against you, as the wood
pecker said to the apple tree.
RECEIPT FOR GOOD w1FE.-Good temp
er, health, good understanding, agreeable |
physiognomy, good figure, good connection,
domestic habits, sources of amusement,
good spirits, conversation, talents, elegant
manners-mOney!
"The sweets of life are nothing without
the bHterS," as the man said ven he called |
for his morning dram.
ToAsTs.-Modern democracy its hope is |
the peoples ignorance; its faith is the peo-
pies compatibility; its bond-union is the
peoples money.
The Sub-T'reasurefs of the administration
They have not, like the improbable servant
in Scripture, hid their treasures in napkin,
but carried it off in their breeches pocket.
ABSENCE OF MTND.-A doctor on calling
upon gentleman who had been some time
ailing, put fee into the patients hand and
took the medicine himself, which he had
prepared for the sick man; he was not made
sensible of his error till he found himself
getting i'll, and the patient getting better.
"I'm only price-ing it, as the loafer said
ven he was detected in stealing blanket.
"That goes again the grain, as the farm
er said ven the wind bowed his wheat
down.
SCANDAL.-An exchange paper says
'.You'll as soon see white blackbird, as a
young lady who does not love babies its
contrary to their natur."
eYou raise my dander, /" as the goose said
ven the boy pulled him through the hole
by the tail
An Ohio paper advertises for good prac.
teal printer, who would take charge of the
mechanical department Of q newspaper
Office, read proof, make selections, scFibbIe
1 paragraph when necessary, rock the cradle,
dig potatoes, cut wood, and go with the
gals to singing school, and neighboring
cuttings.
MoDHsTY.-A girl down east said she
didn't like to swing in the garden, cause
the tatters had eyes
ssBe careful or you may get sun struck, !"
IS the fellow said ven be squared off at bis
father.
aBIack stockings Of ALL colours, g are adj
vertised ia an Ohio paper.
81 wish,n' said son Of Erin, 81 could
end the place where men don't die, that !
might go and end aly days there!In