Maumee City express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1838-184?, 1839-12-28

thinks that "seine fish" will bo plentiful,
next season, and "set nets" will "stand a
right smart chance"
The funds in the National Treasury Of
Kinderhook, according to the report of Ju
das Van Bamboozle, the Secretary of the
Treasury, amount to sixteen boxes of smo-
ked alewives, and it is worthy of remark,
that by orders from the treasury depart
ment, nothing but alewives have been recei-
we'd in payment Of the revenue, eacl. colec-
tor having been obliged to provide smoke
house, as place of special deposit, and
keep the same under lock and key.
During the year, ten bunches Of sawed
shingles have been paid out to the troops
engaged in suppressing the woodchucks on
Livingston's manor. These, as they are
not receivable for taxes, nor payable at any
time nor place, will naturally find their way
into circulation, and pass curren. as money,
and thus prove conclusively, that the great
Kinderhook split-shingle factory, was an In
vention of the aristocracy to oppress the
poor, and that the government has nothing
to do but to take care of it's own affairs.
The expedition to drive the woodchucks
from Livingstons manor, over into Connect.
icut, promises to be attended with the most
triumphant success, as without the loss of
more than three fourhs of the army, two
old female woodchucks have been scared
dreadfuly, and have taken to their holes,
from which it is impossible to dig them out.
To meet these expenses, it will be necessa-
ry TO issue ten punches of sawed shingles
annually, and it is recommended that the
new shingle mill be put in operation mmc-
diately.
The President recommends the suppress
SION Of half-pint measures, with IL cogency
Of reasoning that cannot but be attended
with happy effect. A mere oppressive
measure to the poor, than the half-pn., ne
yer existed. AS long as two glls make a
half-pnt, where exists the necessity for that
odious measure? 1t is hoped that its abol-
ishment will pave the way for further re-
form, and that the time is not far distant,
when no measure smaller than gallon will
be known.
The message goes into an elaborate de-
finition of "paaer," adopting the same
course Of inductive reasoning, that has be-
fore, SO conc!usively settled the nature of
salt and coal. 1t proves that "paper" is
"paper," and nothing more than "paper.'
1t is not smoked alewives, nor sawed shin
giles, but "paper," and that no course of
reasoning, no subter(uge nor mental reser-
vation can make it ought but paper"
"This is a matter,' says Mr.. Van Buren,,
: Of great Importance to the country. Pa
per is paper, and he who would assert to
the contrary is guilty Of crime, for which
no punishment would be a sufficient atone
ment."
The message states, that it is the opin-
ion of many, that legislation should be re-
sorted to, to fix the price of drinks at the
Kinderhook Hotel. This doctrine, he re-
pudiates. The country is governed too
much already. Trade and commerce, ifI
left alone, will regulate themselves. He
however, to have painted, at The
expense of the government, a sign, reading
9 No trust" to be hung up over the bar Of
The Hotel, as warning to all, that the cre-
lit system is exploded, and nothing but
smoked alewives--the real constitutional
will buy refreshments.
The President, then launches out in
,raise Of smoked alewives. He calls them
he constitutional currency" and proves
hem such, by giving history of their ope.
alton upon the constitutions of his ances-
ors; several of whom lived on them all their
ives, and to great age. He also hints
t his early predictions for making sour
rout legal TENDER" but doubts the pro-
riety OF dong it at present, at least, until
everal other experiments are off his hands, !
nd winds up with the declaration, that the !;
rogress of the regulation of exchanges :.
eeps pace with the dissemination OF the
,ctrne, that:
"a pints pound G
The world around" h