The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1839-06-01

some mischief-maker, or indiscreet friend,
that the parties are engaged to be married.
Second-Neither does an engagement
consist in any polteness or social inter-
course which lady may extend to gen.
tleman.
There are young gentlemen, however, of
such consnmmate vanity as to suppose that
such treatment is nothing less than the stron-
gest intimation Of personal attachment. lfa
lady SO much as look at them, they fancy
that il must be love affair and equivalent
10 the most direct proposals for matrimony'
A smile, compliment, social interview
a walk or ride of pleasure, is set down by
such conceted coxcombs,as the most equiv
ocal declaration of love. They tell of the
conquests they have made with an air Of
triumph, and never know their mistake till
they learn it in that reserve and neglect
which their conduct so richly deserves.
Third-Neithcr does an engagement con-
sist in any of these preliminary steps which
are so important, in order to form just es-
innate of the character and qualifications Of
the person with whom you would be united
for life.
Many persons, however, imagine that eve
ry such stepis step of committal. While
the individual is only forming that wise es-
innate and making those judicious invest-
cations which every one is bound to make
in this affair, by regard to his own happi-
ness and that Of others, he is considered as
fairly committed, without possibility of hon
orable retreat. But this is all wrong, wheth-
er it be the sentiment Of individuals, or
public sentiment. The very object of his
researches is TO ascertain if the character
and qualification of the person are such as
will make him happy companion for life.
! ! Without such investigation, ho might oe
we'll commit his interest in this matter TO {
lady whom he had never beheld. He
might as well be betrothed, as heather chill
dren by their parents, without his consent OF
knowledge, and while yet in state of in
fancy. He might as well blindfold himself
and rush into a great assembly, and selec
a companion at random. Parents mus
suppose their daughters little less than an
gels, if they expect to betroth them in thi
manner. And if young ladies' are so su
perfcial in character and accomplishment
f as not to admit such honorable and wist
scrutiny, they had better give up the idea o
, marriage life and become nuns at once
{ Such should be the sentiments on this sub
iect, that every young gentleman shou
feel himself at liberty to make every neces
sary investigation of character, without sub
jecting himself to the report of being en-
| gagged, or Of other than honorable intention
I if, disappointed, he sees fit to retire.
Fourth-Neither does an engagement
consist in the most unqualified declaratio
:. of love on the part of either gentleman o
lady. This may all be, yet no obligation
, are assumed-no contract is formed. An
Il yet there are those who suppose that sue
declarations of attachment impose an obi
cation on their friend, which cannot be r.
:. sisted or violated. The gentleman who's
= province it Away is to make such discl
sures, considers that when he has done tn
he has secured, by right, his object. b
# not so. The lady may be wholly unprepa
% ed for such an event. Such a disclosul
NAV he made before she has made the ne
essary inquiries and investigations herseI
=. Such disclosure may be made when 81
. had no suspicion of any attachment exi;
IN ing and while her own engagements al
- circumstances do not admit of her ente
. tanning such proposals for a moment. 1t
g true. such disclosure on the part OF IL
n gentleman imposes certain duties on the
n, male. If her circumstances are such as
ID render an engagement impossible she
NJ bound by every principle to acquaint HI
~ Immediately with the facts keep the tran
action secret. If she is satisfied with
-.