The Charlotte journal. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1835-1851, 1839-10-24

alas how vain are all Tue hopes VI 'heoIyt |
when unsupported by habltual Practice
As 1 approached the house a dinner bell
alarmed my fears, lest ! had spoiled the
dinner by want Of punctuahty impressed
with this idea, blushed the deepest Grim.
son, as my name was repeatedly announced
BY the several livery servants who ushered
me INTO the Library, hardly knowing what
or whom | saw; at my FIRST enterance, |
summoned all my fortitude, and made my
new learned bow to Lady Friendly but un
fortunately, in bringing back my left foot
10 the third position, trod upon the gouty
toe Of Sir Thomas, who had followed close
at my heels, TO be the nomenclator Of the
family. The confusion this occasioned in
me, is hardly to be conceived, since none
bu, bashiul men can Judge of my distress,
and of that description, the number, | be.
lieve, is very small. The baronel's polite.
ness by degrees dlssipated my concern; and
| was astonished TO see how far good breed.
ing could enable him 10 suppress his feel.
ings, and to appear with perfect ease, after
so painful an accident.
The cheeTiulness Of her ladyshp, and
the familiar chat Of the young ladies', in.
+ senslbly led me TO throw off my reserve
and sheepishness, till at length | ventured
10 JOIN 10 conversation, and even TO start
fresh subjects. The library beng richly
furnished with books 10 elegant bindings,
conceived Sir Thomas to be a man of llt.
eraiure, and yen.ured to give my opinion
concerning the several editions Of the Greek
classcks, in which the baronet's opinion
exactly conceded with my own. To this
subject vas led b. observing an edition Of
Xenophou, 10 SIX volumes, which as had
never before heard Of such a thngj greatly
excited my curiosity, and | rose up TO ex.
anime what IL could be Sir Thomas saw
what | vas about, aud Gas | suppose) will
ling 10 save me the trouble, rose TO take
down the book, which made me eager to
/ prevent him, and hastily laying my hand
% The first volume, | pulled it forcibly ;
bat 10 instead Of books, board which by
leather and gliding, had been made 10 look
like slxteea volumes, came tumbling down,
ard unlucklly pitched upon a Nedgwood
inksiaud on the table under it. In vain
did Sir Thomas assure me there wss no
harm | sew the ink streaming from an in
laid table on the Turkey carpet, and scarce
knowing wha, did, attempted to stop ITS
progress with nv cambria handkerchief
In the height Of this confusion, we were in
formed that dinner was served up, and
with Joy perceived that the bell, which at
first so alarmed my fears, was only the hall
hour dinner bell.
10 walking through the hall and suit Of
apartments TO the dining room, had time
TO collect my scattered senses, and was de.
sired 10 take my seat between Lady Friend.
" and her eldest daughter, at the table
| Since The fall Of tie wooden Xenophon, my
face had beer continually burning like a
! FIRE brand, and was Just beginning to re.
cover myself and feel comfortably cool,
when an unlocked for accident rekindled all
ny heat and bushes. Having set nv plate
I Of soup TOO near The edge Of the table, 10
bowling to Miss Dinah, who politely com.
pllmented the pattern of my waislcoat.
lumbled the whole scaldng contents into
my lap. IL spite OF an immediate supply
ofnapkins 10 wipe the surface Of by clothes,
ny black breeches were ut stout enough
to save me from The painful effects Of this
sudden fermentation, and for some minutes
my legs and thighs seemed etewing III q
boiling chauldrou but recollechng how Sir
( Thomas bad disguised his torture when
I rod upon bis toe, firmly bore my pain ia
silence, and sat with my lower extremitle.
YarboIed, amidst the slihed giggIing Of the
ladies' ard the servants.
! will not relate several blJndsrs which
I made during the first course, or The dis
Itress occasioned by my being desired tC
carve fowl, or help to various dishes sha
stood near n7e, splling sauce boat, anC
knocking down salt seller rather let me-
hasten to the second course, where FRESH
disasters overwhelmed me quite
. had a piece Of rich sweet pudding on my
fork, when Miss louisa Friendly beggec
to trouble me for a pigeon that stood peal
enc 10 my haste, scarce knowing what
did, | whipped the pudsing into my moglh
NV b@ "a bAiA4AAE N|ul - Wt5 flA I9D5alBlE u
conceal my agony my eyes were starting
! from their sockets. At last, in spite o
shame aud resolution, vas obliged 10 droI
The cause Of my torment into my plate. Sli
J Thomas and The ladies' all COMPASSIONATE
j my misfortune, and each advised difYaren
. applications one recommended oil, another
. water, bI, all agreed that vine was bes
for drawing odt the fire; and a glass o.
sherry was brought me from the siieboard
/. which | snalched up with eageruess: but
ho how shall | tell the sequell Whether
the butter by accident ustook, or purposely
designed to drive me mad, be gave me the
. strongest brandy, with which | filed my
mouth, almost fayed and bIlslered totally
! unused 10 every kind Of ardent spirits, with
, my tongue, throat, and palate, as raw as
beef, what could do could no, swallow
and cIaPplng my hands upon my mouth, the
cursed liquor squirted through my nose anc
. fingers, Ike fountain over all the dishes
and | was crushed by bursts Of laughter
, from all quarters. Ia VAN did Sir Thomas
rpuYfmari the enryarso ard ad,, 4 rteuIi i,