Piney Woods planter. (Liberty, Mi. [i.e. Miss.]) 1838-1840, 1839-04-06
PENEY OODS PLANTER.

IoW WIZ OuCc ldUClCu HliIScIi JJCHQSS.
The beauty oft was, he was not much
mistaken.
The Claremont Eagle states that the
weather Whereabouts is so dry that the
farmers are obliged to soak their hogs
in water TO make them hold swill.
"A Chaiienge.-A little fop conceiv-
ing himself insulted by a gentleman
who had ventured to give him some
wholesome advice, strutted up to HIM
with an air of Importance, and said,
Sir, you are no gentleman, here is my
card, consider yourself challenged
Should | be from home when you honor
me with call, ] shall leave word with
a friend to settle the preliminaries to
to your satisfaction To which the
other replied, Sir. you are a fool-hcre
is my card, consider your nose pulled,
and should ! not be at home when you
call on me, you will find that | have
left orders with my servant to kick you
into the street.
NJ. D.-A wag said that the appear
ance ofthese formidable letters on the
sign-board Of tooth-drawcr, signiicd
miserable Dentist
Singliar.-A young lady at gram
mar school examination was asked why
the noun Bachelor was singular; she
replied Immediately, and with much
naivete. Because it is very singular
they don't get married!
Some of the German Wines are sour
as vinegar, and rough as a file. II is
remarked Of those ofStuicard, that one
is like cat going down your throat.
and another is like the same cat drawn
back again by the tail.
Modern Dictionary.-.Steam Boat.-A
invented for the express pur-
pose Of checking the too rapid growth
of population, by scalding to death two
Or three thousand people annually.
1hief-An unfortunate being, whose
means of subsistence being gone, he is
kindly and promptly supplied by the
charity Of our laws with comfortable {
apartments. where he has plenty to cat
md nothing to do.
A Yankee down east. advertises for
better half in the following most cur
Gus manner: 81
''Any gal what's got $500 and has
IT got the itch, can find customer
or life, by writing bile dur addressed
o Il Q, and stick in the crack of I'm
lie Ebenezer's barn"
A certain physician at sea, made
great use Of sea water among his pa
tents. Whatever disease came on. a
lose OF the nauseating liquid was first
brown down. In process of time, the
loctor fell overheard. A great hustle
Consequently ensucd on board, in the
midst Of which the captain came IN.
md anxiously inquired Che cause. 80
1othng sir answered tar, 'only the
ioctor has fell into his medicine cisstr
Alta late public exhibition of the
Deaf and Dumb school, person ask
I'd one of pupils, what was his idea of
sound. and you SIR answered the
youth on paper, what idea
had you Of it, before you were called :
into beingr
E'oqucnce.-A younglimb ofthc law,
in late case of assault and battery,
commenced his address to the jury in
the following splendid style:-"May ,
the court p!cisc, gentlemen of the Jury,
the defendant in this cause, with all
the fury Of a fcnd, emerged from the
dense wilderness like roaring lion,
and in his gigantic strength, he seized
my client by the collar and-tore his
Shirt!"
A physician was called to an Irish
man. and, after examining his case,
recommended an cmetic. Gan cme-
tic. Isl you say. Dector9' said the pa
lent, ooh, that'll never do; took one
'fthe same in Ireland, but the devil
Dit would il stay down, at all at II.
A gentleman being one day in a
brown study, fell into an earnest con-
'ersation with himself. His wife, in
another room hearing him, and having
female curiosity to know whom her
'ther half was talking with, carefully {
pened the door, and filming him emit
ely alone, said, My dear, why do you
ak to JourselfP Because he reph- :
d. like TO talk to man Of sense !,
Here's the real Yankee grit-what
oy but n genupine son of N. England, c
'ould show such spunk3--
'Marm, maynt ! go and play horse
'-dayP
NO, my child, you must stay in the l