Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1839-01-11
FOUR friend
TO CONGRESS.

TO CONGRESS.
Uncle Sam has requested me TO give you
my notions abou, the abolition matters that
now is taking up more Of your time than he
thinks he eau afford to pay for seeing tina,
other matters want attending to. have
never had but one notion about this abolition
maiter--aDd that is. that it is one of that
sort that gifts into the noddlos OF old women
OF both sexes on account OF there having
nothing else there at the time to occupy them,
and then they go to eaekiing & that sets 9th
er folks eackiiag and so arter spell all get
a caekling Till something else gets upper
most, and then another egg is laid. and then
comes another cackling about the new egg
and so j, goes on from time 10 eternity.
II was jist so with Anti-Masonry spell
ago. Years have come and gone--Gene-
raj Washington was a mason and so was
pretty mech all our good folks and nobody
ever troubled themselves abou, the matter,
crops come along one arter the other and
all natur work'd without any troable about
masonry OF anii.ma sonry-wben all al once
up rose an awful caekle and il sseem'd for
spell that il folks didn't stir themselves that
I'll creation would, nrter the coming crops,
come 10 a stand still-lhe Union melt away
like snow ball in June-and the pigs OH
into The corn fields There was NV old
neighbor Deacon Dooiittie one ofthe spriesi
old chaps in raising early garden sass, and
the best pumpkins in the hull county round
IA man allowd 10 be so knowing in most
matters that IL was common saving that who
ever bought the Deacon for !ooll would
lose money by him--he heard the ''anti.ma-
sonic eaekie and took up the same notion.
| calPd on him one day and instead OF find
ing him in his garden, (Which was all over
run with weeds) found him reading anil
masonic addresses.--"Iis all over with US
Major" says he.--.rhe end Of creation has
come at last and he fetched a deep groan
lit is only wonderful to me" says he that
the country has prospered as II has eyer
since the independence with so many Ma
sons in it-and we have all ben so blind too
all the while TO the sartin destruction all
around us-Lord have marcy on us" says
he-and with that old Miss DoolitIe and
all the young ones set up nawlul howl as
ifthe last day had come sure enuI The
Deacon however had one thing 10 comfort
him. and that was he said that there was list
enuf "anti-masons" left TO work out an cleo.
ton of President and Congress who had't
ben on "hot GYidiron,-and he didn't
mean TO raise another Potatoeor Ear OF Corn
or Punkin till that was done left the
Deacon sitting on that egg, and the next
time seed him, was tight in about the mid
die ofthe United States Bank war,-more
than year ar,er, and the times got to be
priity pinehy dropl in upon the Deacon
| fanpd him hna,s..
among his Cockumbers. twisted and
turn'd all matters and things OF a public
naiur. but the Deacon never said one word
about the masons and an,i-masons-it was
pritty clear that the Deacon had enuf OF
humbug-and then, again. the last time |
was down that way, right in the thickesi Of
abolition Petifioas"-bul the Deacon
wasn't 10 be caught but once-and 1 see he
had his eye teeth cut--"things go well enuf
for meMajor says he,apd ifany man catches
me neglectipg my grounds agin TO sackle
with him over any egg he chooses TO throw
in my nest. he is amazingly mistaken.
"Nhy" says he "a man would have nothing
else to do all his life time if he follow'd up
all these idle fanatics and sometimes polite
al vagabonds who are elarnally getting up
WY Shche uticI unoshci-uiSt WuoouIy
and antimasonry--thenn ulli6calion-theE
Banks-ihen nothing but gold--then aboli-
ton and Sub-Treasury. and the Lord knows
what next--and telling us from time to time.
that any one Of these il moi attended TO- 10 the
neglec. Of every thing else, would most sar.
tinly end in sending every created thing all
10 etarnal smash"
Bni, says |. Deacon how do you manage
through EN- all well" says he, major
I'll tell you--and have had a leetle ex,
perience in the malier as you know in the
first place have slopt all cacklng when
my work is done, and have no business oil
hand in family matters. read ths Bible a
spell-a and then take look into the Con