Southern Argus. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 1834-1842, 1839-02-19

49, es-AA@l III A4EAA 4EA3AAAAL jim .
The following is a langhabIs account Of the
Iliisio5tnnes which befeI an American gentle-
man, upon 4 visit 70 q lady in Paris, to whom
he bore letters Of inEoduction. After relating
number Of ludicrous and amusing mistakes,
upon his entrance IN the presence Of the lady,
be thus proceeds;
: The ordinary routine ola French din
ner commenced. A regular series Of ser.
wants appeared each instant at elbows, ii.
yiting Us to partake Of thousand differ.
ent kinds Of wine, all under strings Of
names, which / no more understood than
! understood their composition, or they
did my gaucherSes. Resolute to avoid ali
further opportunities for displaying my
predominant trait, sat in the most obstin-
ate silence, saying out to every thing that
was offered to me, and eating with most
devoted application, till my fair neighbor,
weary with my taciturnity and her own,
at length herself began conversation, by
inquiring how | was pleased with the ope-
ra. was just raising large morsel Of
potatoe to my mouth, and in order to reply
as quickly as possible, hastily thrust it
in, intending to swallow it as hastily.
Heavens! Ii was as hot as burning lava.
What could | do {? The lady's eyes were
fixed upon me, waiting reply to her ques-
ton. But my mouth was in flame. In
! rolled the burning morsel hithers and
thither, rocking my head from side to side,
while my eyes, which involuntarily had
fixed on her, were strained from their
sockets. She regarded my grimaces, of
the cause Of which she was ignorant, with
an expression of amazement and surprise,
at which, can laugh noao, when think of
it.
Monsieur is i'll /" at length she gent
ly, and in an anxious tone, inquired,
could hear no more. My mouth was fay
ing with intolerable pain so, quietly a.
hardening the point / opened it to the ut
most, and out dropped the Internal brand
upon my plate, Not the slightest tenden-
cy to smile, visbly ruffled the imperturba-
BILE politeness Of the lady. She soothingly
condoled with me on my misfortune, then
gradually led the conversation to vare-
ty of topics, till exerllng the magic in.
fluence that true politeness always exer-
cises, | began to forget even my own blum
ders. Gradually my cheeks burned less
painfully, and / could join in the converse
ton without the fear that every word
uttered shared the fate of the action at
tempted; | even ventured to hope, nay,
to congratulate myself, that the catalogue
of calamilies was completed for the day.
Let no man call himself happy before
death" said Scion and he said wisely.
The ldes of March was not yet over.
Before us stood dish of caul;hower, nice.
y done IN butter. 1 nus / 1aLuIaIIy 1iliJutS,
took for custard pudding, which it sufFi.
GENTLY resembled. Unfortunately my
vocabulary was not yet extensive enough
to embrace all the technicalities of tht
table, and when my fair neighbor inquired
if | was fond of Choir feNr, / verify tool
it to be the French for custard pudding
and SO high was my panegyric of it, tina
nv plate was bountifully laden with it,
Alas, one single mouthful was enough tt
dispel my illusion. Would to heaven tina
the Choir feur had vanished with it. Blu
that renamed bodily; and as gazed de
spondingly at the huge mass that loomer
almost as large and burning as Vesuyius
: my heart died within me. Ashamed t,
confess my mistake, though ! could a
readily have swallowed an equal quantit
+ Of soft soap, | struggled manfuly on q
t gainst the mountainous heap at its base
and shutting my eyes, and opening m
mouth, to inhale as large masses as
could, without stopping to taste It. But m
stomach soon began, intelligibly enough
to intimate its intention to admit no NOR
E of this nauseous stranger beneath its roo
: if not even impelling that which had a
ready gained unwelcome admission.
The seriousness of the task / had VI
dertaken, and resolution necessary TO ex'
cute it, had given an earnestness and T;
pidity to my exertions which appetl
would not have inspired, when my pla
having somewhat got over the edge oftl
table, upon my leaning forward, tilted u
: and down slid the disgusting mass into n
lap. My handkerchief, unable 70 bear
weiantv load, bent under in its turn, al
D. great proportion of if was thus safe
y landed in my hat. The pate instant
righted itself, as raised my person al
: as I glanced my eye round the table, a
= saw that no one had noticed my disast'
inwardly congratulated myself that I
nauseous deception was SO happily q
q. posed Of. Resolved not 10 be detected
Of instantly rolled my handkerchief togeth'
with ali its remaining contents and VIII
ii ped it into my pocket.
The dinner table was at length desers
for the drawing room, Where coffee 9
r. liquors were served round. Meantime
had sought out what | considered s
q hiding place for my hat, beneath q en-
. . 10 the dining room, for | dared not carr
81 any longer IN ny band having E
thrown morsel Of paper into the croV
ID hide the caulihower, should any 3
chance il seeking for bis own has, e e
into mine.
On my return % the drawing room
Glanced 70 be again seated By TIE lazy
lss whom had sal at table. Our CONVEX
"a lion was resumed, and We were n
midst Of an animated discussion, Wlaef
3. hu1e spider was seen running PIP aeE g
Take 4. oil-fake i of she eIa
( lated n aterrifed tone.
was always afraid Of spider 50, I
void tOuching him wifi my hand. ! eau
nv handkerchief from ny pocket
clapped Il at once upon ne misc feanss
~, ~ already mounting over her temple
~ ff.Sss.s.s@s N.e1S5rt3c II II