The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1839-06-01
THOUGHTS ON LAwYEns.i
ny THEODORE $. FAY.


Elections on that intelligent and useful class Of
our fellow-citizens, and took the liberty 4
show how one Of their body would act, sup
posing Owens Moral World to be true.
Several other ideas have occurred To me upon
the same subject, To which, as do not mean
TO be very prefix, invite the readers alien
ton, nor do deem it necessary 10 make any
apology 10 the fraternity, as ! know 'ha''
skilful as they are in discerning reasons =
either side, lhsy will find arguments IN my
favor plenly-if they wish TO DO so:
The nominal purpose of court Of justice
is To seek The truth; bu, question whether
the truth, ever in other places more attacked,
sneerel at, brow beaten, rdiculed, and PIT
out of countenance. Ii is the truth, which
every one in his turn finds it to his interest TO
conceal II is truth that every one is afraid
Of Even the parry most unequirocaly in the
right, is anxious to exclude The truth from the
other side. lest it may seem to contradict his
own; and all the lawyers, and even the Judge,
seem as mach on the watch to stop the wit
ness's mouth, every two minutes, as they have
been to make him come there TO open It. 10
me, one OF the most ridiculous things in the
world is, a witness upon the stand, trying
(poor fellow y to give in his testimony. lie
is, we will suppose, not in the slightest degree
interested in either of The parties, and doubt
less. wishes them bpth tied together by the
neck, and dropped off the stern OF one Of the
North river STEAMBOATS,. He comes into court.
not voluntarily. but dragged, il he resi>is, By
two or three scowling ministers oil the law,
who, from the mere fact of his being presum-
ed to know something about the pending suit,
think themselves entitled to treat him as il he
had been brought up for robbing hen-roost.
He is forced from his business or his am,lse-
manis for the purpose Of speaking the truth,
AMI he inwlrdly resolves to tell the whole
story as soon rs possible, and get ril of the
thing. He thinks he knows the worst. lie
thinks the loss of time, and the awkwardness
OF speaking for the first time OF his life in
public, are the extent OF his suffering. TN
suspectiug victim. II no sooner mounts the
stand, than h.. finds himself at once the centre
OF circle Of enemies, and holding position
not greatly unlike that of prisoner in an In
dian war.dance. He tries TO tell his story.
Wuness-I was going down Maiden lane
FIRST Laryrr.-S,op sir.
Second La,ryer.-Dont interrupt the wit
ness.
Third La~yer-The witness is ours.
Fourth Laryer.-( Fiercely and indignant
ly) we want The fact.
Judge-Let the witness tell his story.
Witness was going down Maiden lane,
FTst Lamyer.-We dom. want to know
where you live, sir.
Second Larger. That is part OF his ties.
timony.
Third Ln,cg~-. Y,.u 90. ..ka tho ,-:.----
into your own hands when we are done with
him; at present he is ours.
Witness turns pale.
Fourth Lapyer.-( Sarcastically) very well,
Judge.-Gentlemen, beg you will sit
down.
One Of The alderman. officer, keep order.
OHcer.-(In tone OF thunder, and with
scowl Of more than oriental despotsm upon
the spectators, who amt making any noise
that hey know o0---Silence
Witness.-l was going down Maiden Lane,
VIII re reside, as said before, when
Farsi L1cyer.-You don't come here to re-
peat What you said before, sir
Second Laryer.--I beg.
Third La~yer. -(Startingto his fecD de-
Fourth Lamyer.-I appeal to his honor, the
jnd e, to protect me from the impertnence
Of this witness.
FIRST, second, third, fourth L1rysr and
Ju ige ioeeiher.-1he witness must
Ofcer.-(Looking at the andienre again,
and in voice Of thu lder) --Silence
Jadge.-Gentlemen it seems to me that
the best way to come al the truth, is to let
the witness 20 on, and will call him to or
=, -, ~. C.n, l,,t,, W,t,..,t
Hiiaess.-Your honor.
Jadge.-rell the plain fact Of this assault
tell the jury what you know about it--rc-
member you are here to speak the whole truth
and nothing but the truth--raise your voice
turn your face to the jury. What do you
know o. this affair!
The poor wretch commences again. The
first, second. third, and fourth lawyer continu-
ing to skirm,sh around him all the while, like
parcel Of wild Arabs fighting for the clothes
OF some unhappy prisoner. SO far from get
ting chance 10 say the truth, the poor man
can't get chance TO say any thing At
length, bcaidered out Of his recollection
frightened, insulted and indignant however
really DESTROYS oftelling the truth, he sumbles
upon some inconsistency; some lrifing, or
not trllilng parddox--accounted for at once,
and to every ones entire satisfaction, by the
idea that he has forgotten. But then comes
the er'ss-rxamiaation. Then the scientific
artillery OF cool, able lawyer, sharpened by
!h'r'y years OF similar practices, is brought TO
pear upon ono trembling and already nervous
stranger; perhaps ignorant, perhaps bow.
Then comes the laugh of the judre and Jury,
the murmur OF astonishmen, from Tho cro.d
that person could be found degraded and
base enough to say that "defendan, worn .
krle rimmcd.hai," when he acknowledred
subsequently off his guard, tina, the hat had
"a ioisrab'c large rim" Then the poor fel-
low, sore all over, and not quite sure that he
will mot him IN II ha cont RI State ny;eon =, -.