The voice of freedom. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1839-1848, 1839-08-24


learned to consider this apparent neglect as the
strongest sign of the deepest attachment He
dare not trust his tongue, lest it should betray his
heart. The lady, on the contrary, is the passive,
retired recipient OF these attentions. Shut up in
the secresy Of her own heart her feelings are not
so scanned, and commented on but he, he is the
prominent character, whose success or failure is
the subject OF conversations speculation and rail-
! lery, of the idle and curous.-Do not misunder-
stand me. do not mean that the lady who is
willing to encourage gentleman, should meet
him as it We're half way. By no means. Her
conduct should be aniform. Never forget this
prime maxim in these matters, Not to discourage,
IS atsoayS 10 encourage.
No one who has given this subject even little
reflection, can, am persuaded, ever act lightly.
II involves deep, tremendous responsiveness.
The happiness prospects, and sometimes even the
life of one human being, depends upon the con-
duct and breath of another. My child, have
written more seriously and urgently on this sub
ect, through fear, have before limited, lest you
should, from any nadvertence, be guilty. Your
choice will not | could not bias. But had
rather hear that you are engaged to a man of
good character and industrious habits, than to
the wealthiest man without Them for in this
country, these are always a sure pledge of final
write the more earnestly from fear that you are
even now trihing with the hopes and happiness
of an amiable and high-minded young man; one
who | am sure, has long been attached to you.
When | say has long been," you will under
stand me- know not the nature of your feel
ings towards him, but if his not reciprocated,
TO say he has long BEEN" is the bitterest sar-
casm could USE Minds like his, of vivid mag
ination and intense feeling, commonly form those
grave, deep-toned characters, that can never be
trfed with with impunity. You may indeed now
enjoy pleasure, like that the child feels in press
ing the leaf of the sensitive plant, and seeing it
shrink beneath his touch yet pity you if you can
enjoy it. Beware that the death blow to his hap
piness be not likewise one to your reputation.
1t will be but just should it prove so, or if de-
pendence cannot be placed in your circumstances
where you are bound by every tie of honor feel
ing and gratitude, as we'll as duty, to act with
single minded integrity who will trust you in mat
tiers Of mere duty, where circumstances and motives
are of less imperous and commanding character?
Certainly not mot your father.
Another, if possible, more mean and culpable
species of coquetry, is the practice of not giving
decided encouragementor repulse with view of
keeping your slave till you have learned if, to
use the cant phrase you can do better. ] know
not an expression that betrays more despicabIe
meanness, She who uses it, shows willingness
to sell her hand to traficll her person for value
received that is revolving in the highest degree.
know there may be cases where suspense to the
gentleman may be justified as where the lady
inclines to accept him, but is restrained by circum-
stances, which she imagines will at last cease to
operate, from giving too absolute encouragement
repulse; as the opposition ofirends she is bound
n Cor INV Vt dpar lar |
could never reconcile it to my duty or to my
conscience to interfere farther than TO give my
opinion, unless saw you about forming connec-
ton obviously derogatory or improper. No one,
not even a parent, can tell what character will
render lady happy, but herself;-o herself on
herself alone then, must and ought to rest the re-
sponsibleness of her choice. ! have seen so ma
ny marriges commenced with all the glitter of
wealth and pomp terminate in misery and broken
hearts and so many that have been begun with
no very promising auspices, which have proved as
happy as human life admits, that am convln-
ced that the parent who of1iciousy nterposes,
stands answerable to God, his child, and his con-
science, in degree Of responsiveness most fear
full and tremendous.
Let me advise you likewise, never to make
use OF the silly method, which some young ladies
adopt OF employing third person to repel unde-
sired attentions. Besides that this Is 1nCVer sue
cessu, it is certain Of one bitter, inevitable conse
quence, the inveerate hatred of the man for his
intermeddIing, the effects of which will
seldom cease till the oicious friend has lost more
if possible, than he has of peace. A
third person, without provocaton, is wantonyI
striking at his peace; his hatred will then be COM
mensurate; but not his alone. Others too are
on the watch, and if they do not feel interest e.
nough to hate her, in cool contempt they will
probably surpass him. | know they will attempt
to deceive him into the belief that the interference
is accidental but they cannot succeed. A lover
will deceive himself, but he will not be deceived.
He will distinguish foes from friends with an UNI
errng certainty. Trifing circumstances, and
words arc gathered from every quarter with the
rapidity of thought and differences drawn which
are almost never mistaken. No one but parent
can ever interfere with impunty; and after all,
the lady herself is the only person who can sue
cess(ully and enectually repel the lover. In this,
as in every situation honesty is wisdom, and
confidence of the husband will be strengthened in
the wife, in the same proportion that the lover could
depend on the Integrity of his mistress Ladies
too often attempt to gain husbands, as anglers catch
Withdrawing the bait as he approaches
it, till he is impeed to grasp at every hazard
but she who angles for a husband may find too
late that she has roiped the man nj the evnensa