Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1839-05-02

zen poor ones III, or 10 Keep ten rael complete
good servants, or fifty lazy, idle, do-nolhin'
crIters, because that's gist our case, I've have
too many Of 'em all together. We have tweG-
ty-five independent states, besides the general
government; we have therefore twenty-five
presidents, twenty-five secretaries of state,
twenty-five treasurcrs, twenty-five senates,
twenty-five houses Of representatives, and fifty
attorney generals, and all our legislators are
paid, every soul Of 'em and so are our mags-
trates, for they all take fees and seek the office
for pay, so that we have as many paid Iegisla-
tors as soldiers, and as many judges ofall sorts
and sizes as sailors in our navy. Put all these
expenses together, of state government and
geperal government, and see what an awful
SUN ii comes to, and then tell me it's cheap
government True, said |, but you have not
that enormous item of expenditure known in
England under the name ofhalfpny. awe have
more officers ofthe navy on half pay than.you
have in your navy altogether. SO much the
better for you, says he, for ourn are all on full
pay, and when they amt employed we set them
! down as absent ON leave. Whc h costs the
most do you suppose? That comes of not cal
lin things by their right names, you see. Our
folks know this, but our popularity seekin' pa
triots have all their own merestin multiplying
these offices; yes, our folks have put their foot
in it, that's fact. They cling to't as the bear
did to Jack Fogler's mil-saw; and guess it
will sarye them the same way. Did | never
tell YOU that are story! for Pm most aleard
sometimes l've got fathers fashion oftelIin' my
stories over twice No, said I,ft's new to me !,
have never heard il. Well, says he, | will
tell you how il was.
Jack Fogler lives 10 Nictau-road, and he
keeps saw-mill and tavern: he's sneezer,
that Teller, he's near hand to seven feet high,
with shoulders as broad as a barn-door;. he's a
giant, that's a fact, and can twltch mill-log as
easy as yoke of oxen can--nothn' never stops
him. But that's not all, for I've seen man as
big as all out doors afore him; but he has foot
that beats all--lolks call him the man with the
foot The first time seed him could not keep
my eyes off fit. | actilly could not think of
any thing else. Well, says |, Jack, your foot
is whopper, that's a fact; never seed the beat
of that in all my born days,-it beat Casper
Swicher's all boiler, and his is SO big, folks say
he has TO haul his trousers on over his head
Yes, says he, lawyer Yule says it passes all
underStandin'. Well, he has darter most as
big as he is but for all that she is near about us
pretty gall as ever laid eyes on, but she has
her fathers foot; and, poor thing, she can't bear
to hear tell Of it. | mind once when | came
there, there was no one 10 home, and had to
see to old Clay myself; and arter had done,
went il and sot down by the fire, and lighted
a cigar. Arer while, in come Lucy, lookin'
pretty tired. Why, said |, Lucy, dear, where
on airth have you been? you look pretty we'll
beat out Why, says she, the bears are plaguy
thick this while past, and have killed some Of
our sheep, SO went to the woods to drive the
flock home ag'in night-lall, and, iogs! lost my
way. Eve been gone ever so long, and don't
know as Id even abound my way out agin if
hadn't met Bill Zinc alookin' up his sheep,
and he showed me the way out.
Thinks to myself, let the gals alone for an
excuse; | see how the cat jumps. Well, says |,
Lucy, you are about the luckiest gall | ever
seed. Possible, says he;--how's that? Why,
says |, many's the gall I've known that's lost
her way with a sweetheart alore now, and got
on the wrong track; but you're the first one
ever seed that got put on the right way by
one, any how Well, she larled, and says she,
you men always suspect evil; it shows how bad
you must be yourselves. Perhaps it may be
so, says |, but mind your eye, and take care
you don't PIT your foot IN it. She looked at me
the matter Of minute or so without sayln' a
word, and then burst out acryn'. She said, If
she had such an awful big foot, it warn't her
fault, and it was very unkind to larG at it to-
her tace-that way. Well, felt proper sorry
too, you may depend, Tor vow she was so un-
common handsom' had never noticed that big
foot of hern till then. had hardly got her pa
CITED when in come Jack, with two halves OF a
bear, and threw 'em down on the floor, and
larfed ready to kill himself. | never seed the
beat Of that, said he, since was raised from a
secdin'. | never seed Teller so taken in IN
all ma ife--that's fact. Why, says |, what
is it? 1t was some time alore he could speak
ac'in for larhn'-for Jack was considerable in
the wind, pretty nearly half shaved. At last,
says he, you know my failn'. Mr. Slick; | like
drop Of grog better than it likes me. WE'LL,
when the last rain came, and the brook was
pretty considerably full | kag'd for month,
| THAT is, said the Clockmaker, he had taken an
oath to abstain from drawing liquor from the
keg-they calls it kaggin',y and my kpg was
out today at twelve o'clock. We'll, had just
got log on the ways when the sun was on the
twelve O'clock line, sol stops the mill and takes
out my dinner, and sets it down on the log, and
then runs up to the house TO draw off bottle OF
rum When returned, and was Just about
to enter the mill, what should see but that are
bear sittin' on the pine stick IN the mil
aeatin' my dinner, so gist backs out, takes a
good swig out ofthe bottle, and lays 1t down TO
run off home for the gun, when. says to my
self, says I, he'll make plaguy sight shorter
work Of that are dinner than would, and when