The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1839-09-07

huge mass that loomed almost as large and
burning Vesuvius, my heart died within me
Ashamed to confess my mistake though |
could as readily have swallowed an equal
quantity of soft soap, struggled manGulIy
on against the the mountainous heap at its
base-and shutting my mouth to inhale as
large masses as could without stopping to
taste it, But my stomach began intelligibly
enough TO intimate its intention to admit no
more of this nauseous stranger beneath its
roof, if not even expellng that which had
already gained an unwelcome admission.
The seriousness of the task had under
taken, and the resolution necessary TO exc
cute it, had given an earnestness and rapi-
dtv to my exertions which appetite could
not have inspired, when my plate having
got somewhat over the edge Of the table,
upon my leaning forward tilted up, and
down slid the disgusting mass into my lap.
Nv handkerchief unable TO bear so woighly a
load, bent under in its turn. and great pro-
portion of it landed safety in my hat. The
plate Instantly righted itself as l raised my
person, and as glanced my eye ronnd the
table, and saw that no one had noticed my
disaster, inwardly congratulated myself
that the nauseous deception was so happily
disposed Of. Resolved not TO be detected,
instantly rolled my handkerchief together
with its remaining contents and whipped it
into my pocket.
The dinner table was at length deserted
for the drawing room where coffee and Ii
quors were served round. Meantime had
sought out what thought safe hiding
place for my hat beneath chair in the
dining-room for | dare not carry it any lon-
ger IN my hand having first thrown NOR
sci of paper to hide the cauiAower, should
any one chance in seeking for his own hat
to look into mine.
On my return to the drawing room I
chanced TO be again seated by the lady by
whom had sat at table Our converse
ton was resumed, and we were in the
midst of animated discussion, when huge
spider was seen up her arm.
"Take it oil'-take it off, she CALCULATED
in terrified voice.
was always afraid of spiders; so to a.
void touching him with my hand, caught
my pocket handkerchief from my pocket
and clapped it at once upon the nliscleant,
who was already mounting over her temple
with rapid strides. Gracious heavens
had forgotten the cauihower which was
now plastered over her face like an emou-
lent pouliice, fairly killing the spider and
binding the eye of the lady-while little
streamlets Of soft butter g!ided gently down
her cheeks and bosom.
"Mondeu Moudieu - exclaimed the as
tonshed fair.
"Mondieu - was the re-echo from every
PERSONS mouth.
nave you CuI Jul manu- '"H"iiN" "iiN
"No? no the spider-Monsieur is
killing the spider"
"What a quaRtity of entrails !" ejacula-
ted the astonished Frenchman, unconsci-
ously to himself,
Well might he be astonished, the spray
Of the execrable Vegetable had spattercd hen
dress from head to foot. For myself, the
moment the accident occurred rad mechan
.calIy returned my handkerchief to my poe
ket but its contents remained.
"What a monster must ii have been" OBJ
served young lady as she helped to re-
Ievc my victim from her cruel situation,"l
declare should think he had been living
on cauliAower."
At that moment | felt some one touch me
and turning, saw my companion who hac
come with me.
Look at your pantaloons," " he whispe
red. Already half dead with the confusion
and disaster l had caused, | cast my
eyes upon my once white dress, an,
al I1..;bIa n