Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1839-01-11

account of his place of residence, which !
will call a Geographical description OF
Bachelors Island. By A HUSBAND.
GEOGRAPHICAL DESCRIPTION
OF BACHELORS ISLAND.
When II,men's torch CLOVIS in the married breast
All wandering passions are at rest
In constant love we every pleasure find,
And every soace in The female mind.
Bache,or's Island is situated on the burn
ing sandssoi the desert Of folly where even
the savage inhabitants Of the forest seldom
venture to tread. 1t is bounded on the
North by the region of affecta,on, vanity
and deceit, on the East by the Territories
of fear and cowarSee, South byAhc burn
aud on the West by The dead lake of OBJ
llvion. Hence It is ensy to be supposed
that the air Of this Island is sul'ry, ener,
waiting and pestlterous,. exposed to perpetual
scenes of storms, hurricanes and tempests.
and its climate like the minds of its inhab
i,ants never settled for an hour. The
lspring OF Bachelors Island totally differs
from that Of any other 7 have hitherto
hea1 OF, as it is there the season of the
most pernicious heat, and in which the
generality Of Its Inhabitants arc possessed
| of kind OF madness the most dlstractlng
| to themselves, the most injurious to the
civilized country, and the most su6vcrsve
Of unguarded innocence. Those who
have wcathered out the Spring and live to
see the Summer, though they lose great
degree of their madness, yet in that season
they become aryM typoc, iticat and treach.
erous. Their winter. is truly despca Bile,
| hn Of ~ III
you cannot express your contempt of a
man more pointedly than by calling him an
Old Bachelor. A thing that lives only for
ltself thing that cares for nobody and
whom nobody regards a thing that like a
mushroom delights in boys and morasses.
but hates the generous warmth of the
noon day sun. Though the natives Of this
miserable Island make those Of the Isle OF
Matrlmony the constant object Of their
ridlcue, yet there have been numberless
instances of their stealing from their native
Island into tina: of Mairlmony, where they
have prevailed upon some good natured
easy creatures to become their nurses and
restorcrs after their constitutions have been
nearly ruined in their former miserable
abodes, for the Isle of Matrmony, though
clouds now and then gather over it, yet
they serve only to render the remainder oI
the day more brilliant and cheerful In
Bachelors Island love is thing much
talked o! but totally unknown to them
They are hated and despised, robbed ant
plundered by the miserable objects of thei
embraces, If cards are sometimes the
diversion Of the people Of the Isle of MAJ
rmony, they are only as an amusement
But on Bachelors Island they are produc
, tice Of the most shocking vices: such al
he grossest scenes of drunkenness am
debauchery, and the total ruin of the
private fortunes and even murder itself i
, sometimes the consequence. How man,
have left this Island for that they so nue.
, desplsed in order to repair their ruIne'
, fortunes by seeking rich and an amlab
-, partner Bachelors Island is mer
desert, incapable Of producing any thin.
. but nettles, thorns, and brlars. There ar
no bleatDg lambs TO please the eye OF limo
y cence, no doves to cherish their young, no
Ii does the useful lawn bound over thel
h plains but wolves, tigers and crockadlIe
h are seen in abundance. There are nethe
= wife nor children to weep over the ashes c
!. the deceased, but owls boot and raven
e croak over their graves. 10 short, of a
y the animals that nature ever produced n
IS Old Bachelor must be the most contempt
!, bic. lie lives useless being on cartl
" dies without having answered tho end {
" his creation IN opposition to the mandat
ID of his Maker, and is at last consigned toI
,e ever IN Obliviou