North American. [volume] (Swanton, Vt.) 1839-1841, 1839-05-29


between the sexes are construed into pro
possls Of nairimony, and young gentle
man hears The report OF his engagement
while as yet not even q dream of the ihint
has passed through his own mind. b.
such imprudenee the lady sewers hersel
from the society, perhaps, Of an honorable
and polished mind. & brings upon herself s
friends the modification and disappointment
which will inevitably follow in such cases
II gentleman attend a lady to church; il
lie escort her 10 the public assembly; ii he
walk with her in the streets; ifhe occasion
ally visits her for the sake oil her good soci.
ETY., the report is not unfrequenty set on
| foot by some mischievoUs or indiscreet
friend, that the parties are engaged TO be
married
9. Neither does an engagement consist
in any politeness Of social intercourse,
which lady may extend 10 a gentleman.
There are young gentlemen, however,
OF such consummate vanity, as 10 suppose
that such treatment is nothing but the
strongest limitation OF personal attach
ment. If the lady so much as look at them,
they fancy that it must be a love affair,
and equivalent TO the most direct proposals
for malrimony. A smile, a compliment,
socia' interview, walk or ride OF pleas
ure, is set down as the most unequivocaI
declaration Of love. They tell of the con-
quests they have made with an air of tri-
umph, and never know their mistake ill
they learn IT in that reserve and neglect
which their conduct so richly deserves.
8. Neither does an engagement consist
in any Of those preliminary steps which are
so important in order to just estimate Of
the character and qualifications OF the per-
son with whom you would be united for
life.
Many persons, however, imagine that
every such step is step Of committal.-l
While the individual is only forming that
wise estimate, and making those iudicious
Investigations, which every one is bound
10 make in this affair, by regard to his
own happiness and that of others, before
ne is considered as fairly committed with
,ut the possibility of honorable retreat
But this is all wrong, whether it be the
sentiment OF individuals or OF the public.
The very object of his researches is 10
'scertan if the character and qualifications
u the person are such as will make him q
lappy companion for life. Without such
nvestgaton, he might as well commi, his
interest to lady he had never behe!d. He
night as well be bethrothed as heather chill
rem are by their parents, without his con-
ent or knowledge, and while in state of
niancy.
He might as well be blindfolded, and
ush into great assembly, and select
ompanion at random. Parents must sup
ose their daughters little less than angels.
they expect TO betroth them in this s
tanner. And the young ladies' who are
superficial in character and ACCOMPLISH {
tents as to fear to admit of such honorable {
nd wise scrutiny, had better give no the
lea oil married life at once, and become /.
uns. Such should be the sentiments on 1
lis subject, that every young gentleman 6
'oud ieel himself at liberty to make every
ecessary investigation Of character. with
" subJectlng himself to the report Of be- f
g engaged or Of other than honorable in. ,,
ntions, if disappointed, he sees ct TO re-
re. h
a. Neither does an engagement cons;s, .,
the most unqualified declaration OF love. u
the part of either the gentleman or la. t.
:. Ihs may all be, yet an obligation is il
u assumed, no contract is formed. And :,
u there are those who suppose that such X
carnations oil attachment impose an obli- n
zion on their friend which cannot be re-. 4
lied or violated. The gentleman, whose "
ovince it always is first to make snch e
'ciosures, considers that when he has ~
ne this, he has secured by right his OBJ !"
;t.-But not so. The lady may be who'll O
unprepared for such an event. h
ouch a disclosure may be made be-
e she has made the necessary inves. a
atoms herself. Such declaration, NAV h
made when she had no suspicion OF at :,
'hmenI existing, and while her own en- q
sements and circumstances would not tC
NIL Oh her entertaining such proposals e.
moment. Ii she is so situated as to ~
der such an engagement impossible. she OIL
pound to inform him Of it, and keen a r.
ret. Ia
i her circumstances are such as TO rem. L
proper Tor her to enter into matri- b,
MAI engagement, it is proper then that -
make ms proposal matter of imme- &c
lie and serious consideration. JCsbe is d.
shed with his character, and enter,a;no -.
b an affection for him as will render lie
on with him happy, she has nothing &c
out 10 make known 10 him in modest ic
a1ecaonate manner her acceptance ofI or
proposals. But If, after due considers W