Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1839-08-01

Ahnt considered u safe hiding place for mi
hat, beneath chair IN the dining room, tor |
dare not carry it any longer IN ny hand, hav
lng first thrown morscl of paper 10 hide The
cauhflowcr, should any chance IN seeking
| for his own hat To look into nine.
II On my return To the drawing room. chan
red To he again seated by the lady by whom
\ | had sat nj thu table. Our conversation wa
resume /, and We were in the midst OF an nnl'
mated discussion, when hue spider wa
seen running mp her arm.
| "Tnkn il off-lake It off" she CALCULATED
~ terrified voice.
/ was always afraid Of spiders; so to avoid
| iourhlng him with my hand, caught my
pocket handkerchief from my pocket al d
| clappcd Il M once upon the mscrcant, win"
! was already mounting over her temple with
! ropid strides. Gracious hcavensc ! haG
| forgoit.n the caulihowcr which was now
| mastered over her face like an emolieni poul-
| tcc. fairly killing the spider, md binding IN
eve OF the lady while little s,reamlcts of soil
buttcr gIidcd gently down her neck and
bosom.
anon dicu Mon dieu!" exclaimed the
as,onshcd fair.
"Alon dlcu!" was re echoed from every per
sons mouth.
"Ila,c you cut your hand 2" inquired one.
"No no. the spider-monslcur II killing
the spider"
"What quantity of enirails !" CALCULATED
an astonishcd Frenchman, unconsclously I"
| himself.
l Well might he be astonlslled. The spray
nf the cxecrable vegetable, had spattered her
dress from head TO foot. For myself, The
moment the accident occurred, ! had me-
chanicaly returned my handkerchief to my
pocket but it, contents remained.
"What monster must II have BEEN" OBJ
served young lady, as she helped to relieve
NV victim from her cruel situation, 4" ] declare
| should think he had been living on cauli-
\ flower"
| AT that moment felt some one touch me:
and turning | saw my companion who had
come with me.
/ look n, your pantaoons," he whispered.
|. hrendv half dead with the confusion anc
disaster had caused ! cast my eyes upon
my once white dress and saw at a glance,
the horrible extent Of my dilemma. had
| been setting on the fatcd pocket, and had
| crushed out the liquid butter, and the soit
| paste like vegetable, which had bedanbet
| and dripped down them, till 1t seemed as II
/ It were actually dissolving my pnntoloons.
II Dartne forn the spot, sprang to the place
where | had left my hat; but before could
reach it sudden storm of wrath was heard
al the door.
"Sa-r, sac-r-e," the in the first syllable
being made To roll like n watchnan's rattle.
mingled with another epithct and name that
an angry Frcnchman never spares, was heard
rising like fierce tempest without the
doors Suddenly there was pause
gurgling sound, as one swallowing nvolun-
tarlly-and The storm of wrath again broke
ont with rcdoubled fury. ! seized my hat
and opened the door, and the whole matter
was at once explained; we had exchanged
hats and there he stood, the soft caullilower
gushing down'Ilis cheeks, binding his eyes,
filling his mouth. hair, mustachios, and whls
kcrs. Never shall forget that spectacle.
There he stood astrde, like the COLOSSUS,
and STOPPING gently forward, his eyes iorcl-
bly, closed, his arm dropping out from his
body, and dripping caulihowcr and butter
from every part.
s,aid no longer, but retaining his hat, !
rushed from the house, jumped into STA
cre," and arrived safely home, heartily re-
solving, that to my latest hour, would never
again deliver letter Of introduction.