Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1838-05-03
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From the Cincinnati Chronicle.
THE HOLE IN WV POCKET

~.
y. 1t is now about q year since nv
wife said 10 me one day, pray MIR.
Slackwater,- have you that halt dollar
abou: you that ! gave you this morn
ing ?" felt in my waisicoat pocket.
and feltin my breeches pocket. and |
turned my purse inside out, but il was
all empty space-which is very differ.
ent from specie; so said 10 Mrs.
SIackNatcr, 1--WE lost it, my dear; posi-
lively, there must 3e a hole in nv
pocket" IN sew it up" said she.
An hour or two after met Tom
Stebbins. "How did that ice cream
set :" said Tom. at set" said |, like
the sun, glonouly." And rs ! spoke.
It flashed Upon me that my missing half
dollar had.paid for those ice creams !;
however, | held my peace, for Mrs.
Slackwater sometimes makes remarks;
and, even when she assured me al
breakfast next morning that there vas
no hole IN my pocket, what could ] do
but IN my brow and say, "Ah! isn't
there Teally;"
Before a week had gone by, my wife.
who ike dulilul helpmale, as she is.
always gave ne her loose change 10
keep, called for a % cent piece that
bad been deposited in my Sub Treasu.
~ for SAFE. keeping; There was a poor
woman at the door" she said. THAT
she promised il 10 her for certain. -
We'll, wait a moment" cried; so !
pushed inquiries first ia this direction,
then in that, and then in the other:
but vacancy returned a groan." ''On
my soul, " said I, thinking 1t besito shov
bold 'front.' "you must keep my peck
eisJn better repair. Mrs. Slackwaier:
this piece with | know not how many
more, is lost because some corner seam
IN my plaguey pockets Is left open"
"A&e you sure? said Mrs. Slack
water.
Sure as. that | am. It's gone 10.
tally gone " Ny wife dismissed her
promise. and ihen. in her quiet wav.
asked me 70 change NY panisloons be-
fore went out. and 10 bar all argu-
meni laid another paiF on ny knees.
That evening, allow me 10 remark.
gentlemen Of the species husband" I
was very 10th 10 60 hoineio tea; had
halt a mind 10 bore some bachelor
friend: and when Hunger and Habit.
N their un5ss0ming manner. ono on
each side, walked me up TO my own
door, tho touch of The brass knob made
ny blood run cold, But do not think
Mrs. Slackv aisr is a Tartar. my good
fiiends, because I ihus shfunk from
home: tic fact was that ! had, while
abroad. called 10 mind the fate of her
- cent piece. which ! had INFESTED
a. larger amounts arc often invested.
IN smoke. that i, 10 say. cigar: ond I
feared o. think Of Der comments on NY
pantaloons pockets.
These things went on for some
months; We were poor 10 begin With
and grew poorer or, % ans rate, no
fichcr. lasi--Times grew worse and
worse; ny pockets leaked worse and
wore. even my pocket book wa no
Ions er 10 be trusted, The rags slipped
from II IN a manner most incredible "a
rclaie:--as on Irish song says,
"And surh we fbe f.te II poor Paddy O'Aioorc.
Thai be pgrse hsd ilie more Frnis, ~ b. bed ~
fesrr"
a. length one day my wife came IN
with q subscription paper from The Or
phans' asylum; { iooked 81 ", and
sighed, and picked my teeth. and shook
my bead. and handed Il back 10 her.
"hfd Bowen" sad she fthae nut
down ten dollars"
The more shame 70 him. { replied