The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1838-07-28

Then when the night steals on as now,
II will bring rcliefio thine aching brow
And with Joy and peace at the thought Of rest,
Thou wilt sink to sleep ON thy mothers breast.
From The Knickerbocker
THE BLUNDERER.
Being fen passages tOm the life Of sAort-sighted
ny THE AUTHOR OF 1.-THE ORDINARY MANI
OF all the evils to which mankind are sub
ject, there is none more pitiable in its victim
than an inordinary limitation Of vision. J.,
alas am one Of those unfortunate individuals,
whose nose is doomed to be spectacle be-
strid" during my mortal existence, and who
discern no object, unless it be thrust into my
very face.-This, it may readily be imagined
is at all times disagreeable, but particularly SO
when the article in question is obnoxious TO
the senses 0 We bipeds of oculars unim-
paired !--ye all-seeing gentry little do you
know the thousand evils that daily accumulate
upon our devoted heads; and sometimes
shoulders Little do you ken the numerous
faur pas that we Of the limited vision are al
most constantly being pushed into, to the
imminent jeopardy Of our moral and physical
sense, as men OF feeling.
yea from my veriest infancy-and have con-
tinued up to this day, with a frequency and
regularity as astonishing as unfortunate. My
mother has eften told me, that when a baby,
would make dozen Intellectual attempts to
gain her breast I; and my first essays in the
arr of walking, have been memorialized, by a
multiplicity Of scars, occasioned by violent
contact with chairs, tables, and other articles
of domestic usefulness. As boy, was
still more deserving of commisseration. In
fact, my misfortunes seemed to accumulate
with my growth. The delicacies of the
dinner table were invariably appropriated by
my brothers and sisters, before | could be
made conscious Of their presence and if |
failed TO examine closely every particle upon
the prongs of my fork, or in the concave of
my spoon, | might inadvertently swallow a
red pepper for sausage, OF mastlcate guam
tity of horse.radish for as much sugar or Sage
cheese. My good old aunt, plying my situa-
ton, resolved to better it, and for this purpose
purchased me pair of spectacles, the first l
had worn. For time got on very well, in
the way of eating comfortable dinners but
this fortune was too good to last long. My
affectionate brethren and sisters contrived to
They were continually stolen and was
every day compelled to parake of what they,
in the lulness of their s,omachs, thought pro-
per to leave me.
In due season, | was urshered into the
solar system of society; but | had not re-
volved a month on my own axis, among the
planets and satellites Of the beau ciel, before
they all complained that passed them in my
diurnal transis without smile or bow Of re-
cognition, aud unanimously concluded to eject
me from their sphere. deprecated their dis
pleasure, acknowledged the imperfection Of
my vision, and was again admitted in their
circles | now resolved to speak to every
one that passed "and them" thought I, in
the iondness of my imagination, there will
be no mistake" put my resolution at once
in practice, and for while things went swim
ingly on but at length the same result was
the consequence. 't".s
"What have | done, nop ?" asked of a
friend "why am again thrust without the
pale of society!"
1.-THE reason is, simply" said he, gazing
about to see that no one observed him speak
ing TO so prescribed being as !, !" that people
are not willing to meet on terms of sociabli-
ty and equality, man who claims the ac-
quaintance of every loafer male or female, he
may chance to meet. At Trinity church,
last Sunday, you offered your arm to chamber
maid and you were yesterday observed by
a party of ladies in the act of making a pro-
found bow to three Of the most notorious
courtezans in town." .v@#
Good God !" exclaimed !, "is it posi-
bic :"
These were not the only bad effects OF my
polileness great six-ioot whiskerando
charged me with the henious crime Of in
sulting his sister, by speaking TO her without
the previous Formally of an introduction and
it was with the greatest difficulty that could
persuade the fellow from horse-whipping me
"a thing which he had fully resolved upon,
and which nothing but my humble apologies,
and abored explanations, joined TO the en-
treaties Of one or two Of my personal friends,
deferred him from putting into practice.
Happier" thought l, "fsr happier, had
been born blind, for then should at least have
avoided the tissue of blunders into which
hourly stumbled. My life has been one con-
tnucd series of getting into scrapes in the
worst way, and getting out Of them the best
way could. Why am coupled with such a
destiny? I am ono Of the rentlest and most