Iowa news. [volume] (Dubuque, Upper Mississippi Lead Mines, Wisconsin Territory) 1837-1841, 1838-05-05
ORIGIN AL.

4 ~ IL VI L lv n IL.
Odds and Ends, or Things as they are
II . rttse.sa NO. l.
By Jeremiah C,1,ycon,b & Others.
"'Iisa strange world we live in, and ley,d
AS e'er the sun, in all his travels, view,d, =
AN age as vile, as ever justice urged,
Like 4 fantastic fletcher, to be scoursed:
Nor has i, 'scap'd, and yet has only learn'a,
The more its plagud, to be the less concera'd.'
. -e5 ss4 Saturday, March Ii, 1888.
LEARNED READERS:
In entering the arduous patti
of essayists, we do not wish to interfere with
1.-THE peculiar rights of editors, in their guardian
ship Of public morals, but rather as auxiliaries
we come in the hope that too much cannot be
done in good cause.
Prompted by the purest good will towards
tyou, wewould, on any other occasion abstain
from saying anything unpleasant or offensive
4 sensible, however. that the task we have IN.
4 dertaken, is all invidous one, wherein politi
cal hypocracy is 10 be unmasked and exposed
in its natural deformity, we will console our
selves with the reflection, than in offending a
/ few, we shall enlighten the many who will
appreciate our motives. and follow our counsel
In saying this. we have no thoughts of be.
ing immor.alized; the old adage Of "Repub-
lies being ungrateful," is sufficient cooler
TO such ambitious aspirations; on the contrary
10 show the humbleness Of our spirit, we ear
nestly solicit. that we may not be kick'd into
the kennel for our pains.
| BY consulting the delectable motto, you will
perceive, that our aim is TO casligate general
vices, and perhaps il may be well enough to
enter here solemn disclaimer against indyi!-
uality in our portraitures.
In our delineations, il is possible that GER
tain features may assmila.e TO those Of midi
yiduals; but the viruous are too wise to quar-
rel at panegyrc, and the vicious, gay, there S
the rub," why, if they feel offended, our best
wishes will attend their speedy reformation,
that they may become better men in this world,
and obtain salvation in the next. ~.
| Having thus introduced ourselves, and pre-
pared your anticipa,ions for something solemn
and edifying, we will close this sensible pre-
liminary. and present ourselves 10 your kindly
consideration in our individual capacities.
sMARrNEss, SHARPNESS, g. OTHER DERIVATIVES.
| ny JEREMIAH cuRRYcoMp.GS 10
~ We often hear such epitlets as the above
layished on cey,ain individuals, who are dis
tinguished for particular skill in their yoca-
tons, or tact IN ile management of man or
beast: SO general, and SO ind;scrimnata is its
application, That 1t is somewhat difficult TO de-
fine its meaning. as ''such aud such one is
very smart man." carries with it such con-
fused and Heterogeneous association Of quail
! ties, that the mind is led in its wanderings az
ter the sense, TO consider The individual allu-
ded to, either to be wise, active, vrtuous,
industrious, lazy, or honest man, or perhaps,
would consider him swindler, rogue, or an
accomplished thief.
A knot Of merry associates having gathered
together some short time since, indulging in
the innocent qualification of smoking long ni,,es
aud pledging each other in drinking whiskey
toddy, the conversation turned on a variety Of
topics, and at last fastened on that most per-
picking subject, which figures as caption 10
this sapient article.
Now, all good natured readers will readily
agree with me, that Whiskey To-day is most
marvellous loosener Of the tongue, and impro-
Yer OF the organization of the brain. developing
its faculties, and making il remarkably proli-
fic in pleasant and cxtravagan, Suggestions.
As the toddy jug declined from its meridian,
SO our debate ON this peculiar subject became
more brilliant and diyerting, and finally il clp-
sed by one Of our number drawing roll Of pa
per out of his pocket, and proposing to read il,
promising that it was not irrevelant to the mat
ter under discussion, as appeared by his ex-
hibiting the back Of the manuscript on which
was endorsed in remarkably large characters
THE MEMOIRS OF A SMART MAN.
Under strong impression that others as
well as myself, might be grati6ed by its reci-
tai, borrowed the manuscript for this parti-
cular purpose, and have transcribed it et GER |
batim.
MEMOIRS OLA SMART MAN.