The native American., 1838-07-21

billed are all overboard!'' splnttered the swimmer,
| as he dashed the waters about and seemed al
most strangled with the quantities which entered
the hole in his head entitled a mouth, which was
sadly unacquainted with undisted fluids
"Strike out, or you're gone chickens them as
cant swim must tread water, and them as cant
tread water must go to Davy Jones! Let go my
LEG! Every man for himself! Prhe-e-e! bro-o-o!
| Who's got some splaterdocks?"
The watch looked on in silent admiration; but
finding that the aquatic gentleman did not make
much headway, and that probability existed Of
| his going out of the world in soundings and by
water, way evidently not in conformity to his
desires, the benevolent guardian of the night
thought proper TO interpose; and bending himself
| 10 the work, at last succeeded in establishing
Ripton Rumsey on the curbstone.
| "Ha!' said Ripton, after gasping few min
Iutes, and swringing the water from his face and
lhair-''you've saved me, and you'll be put in the
newspapers for It by way of solid reward. Jist
| in tlme--Pd been down twyst, and if I'd gone
Iagin, Ripton Rumsey would stayed there-once
more and the last and the nearest gifts it, Only
think--my eye! how the shads and the catties
would chawed me up! Getting drownded amt
no fun, and after you're drownded it's wus NV
sufferings what had and my suferings what |
like to had is enough to make feller cry, only
ain't got no hankercher, and my sleeves so wet
| it won't wipe good" rs,
''Yes, young 'un,'' said the Charley, s's'posing
the fishes had been betting on elections, they'd
have invited the other fishes to cat you for oyster
suppers,--so much majority for sturgeon -nose or
a Ripton Rumsey supper for the company-why
not? If we ketch the fishes, we eat them; and
ithey ketch us, they eat us,-bie all round.''
But the storm again began TO howl and as Rip
ton evidently did not understand the rationale Of
The argument, the watchman lost his poetic SYM
pathy for the Jonah of the cutters. Even had he
heard the fishes calling for ''Ripton Rumseys
fried "Ripton Rumseys sewed," or ssRipton
Rumseys on chafing dlsh," he would have felt
indifferent about the matter, and If asked how he
would take him, would undoubtedly have said
sRipton Rumscy on wheelbarrow.''
lyon mnst go to the watchhouse.'', FL.
"What fur must /! Fetch along the Humane
Society's apparatus for the recovery of drownded
dooals.-them's what | want-Tm water
logged. Bring us one of the largest kind of
smallers-a tumbler full of brandy and water,
without no water in it. I've no notion of being
|diddled out of the sweets Of my interesting st-
|vatlon-l want the goodies-wrap me in hot
blanket and lay me by the fire-put hot bricks to
my feet, fill meup with hot toddy, and then go
away. That's the scientific touch, and it's the
drpwndcd I'm hard casc.'' II.
The Charley promised all, if Ripton would
accompany him. The soft delnsion was believed,
and the 'hard case" was lodged in the receptacle
| for such as he, where, before he discovered the
deception, he fell into profound slumber, which
lasted till morning. The examination was as fol-
ows:-- .t #,
"Where do you live!' .
"I'mn no ways pelickelar-jist where it's cheap
est and most convenient. The cheapest kind Of
living, according to my notion, is when it's pretty
good and don't cost nothing. In winter, the
almshouse is not slow, andif you'll give lis call,
you'll find me there when the SHOWS on the
ground But when natur' smiles and the grass is
green, I'm out like a hoppergrass. The fact is.
my constitution isn't none Of the strongest; hard
work hurts my system; SO 60 about doing little
Jobs for afp or levy, SOS to get my catnip tea
and hiners regular--any thing for decent living,
| if it doesn't tire Teller. But hang the city
rural felicity and no Charleys is the thing, after
|all-pumpkins, cabbages, and apple whiskey is
always good for a weakly constitution and man
Of an elevated turn of mind.
swell, I'll send you to Moyamensing prison
quite rural.
! The sound of that awful word struck terror to
| the very marrow of Ripton. Like the rest of his
class, while bearing his soul in his stomach, he
carries his heart at the end of his nose, and to his
heart rushed the blood from every part of his
Frame until the beacon blazed with lurid glare,
and The bystanders apprehended nasal appoplexy.
The rudder of his countenance grew to such a
size that there was no mstaking the leading fea-
ture of the case. 70 see before him, Ripton
was compelled to squnt direfuy, and as the beg
gar in Gil Bias did his carbine, he found himself
under the necessity ofrestng his tremendous pro-
boscis on the clerks desk, while cooking his eye
at his honor.
| "Mamensn!'' stammered Ripton--'. Ouch,
ouch! now don't! that's clever feller. Arch
street was all well enough-plenty of company
and conversation to improve chap. But Mia
mensin-scantay Why they clap you right
into bag as soon as you get inside the door, jst
as if they'd bought you by the bushel, and then,
| by way Of finishing your education, they lug you
along and empty you into room where you new
er see nothing nor nobody. It's jist wasting a
man--l'm be bagged if go to Miamensin!-
I'D rather be in the Menagerry, and be stirred up
with long pole twenty times day, so as to
cause me for to growl TO amuse the company. |
amt potatoes to be put into bag--blow the
bag!'
"There's no help for it, Ripton; you arc va
| and ho tato oc