The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1838-11-10

CAPITA. SATIRE well applied is that which follows
from the Boston Courier .... ~.
To The Right Horshipfui, the MAYOR and ALDERMEN
and The COMMON COUNCIL Of the Corporation of
Boston.
Conscript fathers:-I have perused with sensations
of admiration and pride the recent ORDINANCE
which your wisdom has produced, "to prevent I'M
a'cf and inudicous practices in the streets Of the
CITY," ..,.a.
The object Of this letter from one of the most OBJ
Scure OF your constituents is TO cheer you the
work, and in order to stimulate you to new enact
hien's. will proceed 10 make lew comment a ries
on some OF The sections OF the Ordinance in cues
ton, and also humby suggest some regulations of
surprising Importance which well worthy of
engaging your concentrated energies, at this time
when your deliberations appearto be engaged on such
subjects
lquole the second section of the Ordinance. which
provides under penalty of from TO twenty dol
lars that ..~..
Sec. 3 No person shall flourish OF snap any
achip in any of the streets, lanes alleys, or public
squares, or places of the city, unless he shall have
under his immediate care some beast or team of
beasts"
Twenty dollars for Furnishing a whip in any
street, lane or alley" does not seem quite penalty
enough. Why not say three months Imprisonment
in the common Jail, or six months in The House Of
Correction Suppose there should be both flour
iSh and snap, for it is difficult TO get a snap without
flourish, docs this subject the offender 10 two
penalties-say forty dollars =? think forty dollars
cheap for this privilege. And again, do "cowhides"
come under the term 'ehip-and suppose citizen
should "fourish"-does this subject the offender 10
two penalties-say forty dollars9 think forty dol
lars cheap for this privilege. And again. do !" cow
hides come under the term 1chtp-and suppose
citizen should flourish a cowhde on Change, does
the penalty hold7 1t unquesonaby should So
much for ,chiPper snappers
Sec. B. No person shall RING, or cause to be rung,
unless as is provided in the first section of An Or
dnance for the regulation of Horses and Carriages
within the city of Boston, any bell, or blow cause
TO be blown any horn, or other instrument in notice
Of the sale of any article, or for any other purpose
in the said streets or elsewhere, unless duly licensed
by the Mayor and Aldermen"
Had I held seat in either Board when this valua-
bic law passed, | should have moved to insert the
words or nose" after "horn" so as 10 read mo
person shall blow or cause to be blown any horn,
Nose, or other instrument, in notice OF sale of any
article or for any other purpose" There is danger
of fourshing whips and blowing noses in the lanes,
alleys and streets OF this city, which should be re-
moved, and the City Marshal should at once be put
on the scent to snub up offenders. The plain Ian
guage OF this law is, mo person shall ring cause
TO be rung" "ANY BELL" Tor the sale Of any article
or for any other purpose"-that is, he cannot ring
his house bell to get into his own house unless
duly licensed by the Mayor and Aldermen, "under
penalty Of 81 TO Ss20v' Again, he cannot blow or
10 be blown any instrument for the sale Of any
article or " for any other purpose" under same pc
nalty. Musicians must come under this clause
or carionet flute for military parades, or for Sc
renades, forteits this fne-or the law says he shall
not blow "ior any purpose" | hope this law will
BE- gidly enforced The penalty might be improv-
ed by adding six months in the House Of Correc-
ton"
| would respectfully suggest 10 your honorable
bolrd, that ordinances be passed forthwith for the
following purposes: ..
l. To regulate the killing of cats and providing
for the drowning of blind pups
2. For preventing the eyes OF Holsters from pro-
jecting more than one foot upon the sidewalks
3. Allowing no cat TO have two tails
4, To stop the buzzing OF green-head flies and
hook-billed mosquitoes.
5 Regulating the twist of dogs tails
6. Prohibiting sneezing after dark, except by
license from The Mayor and Aldermen"
7. Prohibiting any family from harboring more
than fifteen tom-cats,
will make o'her suggestions when I am elected
to the Common Council, which will probably be
soon Jock