Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1838-04-27
READ THIS 10, MANI
Dr. SPuriOsO's Uairersat Pills, and Subs
tufe for Hafnret
Philadelphia, April 5. 1888.

DR.. SPuri0s0s Uairersat Pills, and Su6sfi-
tufs for nature!
DR.. Spurioso wants no collrge--no ins,i.
tution-no monopoly--no charter he being
satisfied TO rest on Pullibili,y OF the public.
for the success OF his grandmother's pills
established ut Botany Bay about the year
1850.
This extraordinary medicine holds in com
bnaiion materials rom the five quarters Of
the globe. which is The hes, reason that can
be given for its universal properties; and to
account iurther for the astonishing IF cts
these pills produce. they will il Hnnlyxra be-
found to contain many valuable natrrisls
from the animal. vegetable. and mineral
kingdoms scientifically conglomenird
together by the assistance of the four ele-
menis previously pulverized. 10 promote
their fuldy.
The limits OF an advertisement will no,
admit Of an enumeration Of the many virtues
of these Universal Pills and NATURES
Substitute: 10 detail one half Of them. would
require more than hreNiy newspapers
To give the public faint idea Of the
variety oflhier universal filness,t the following
are mentioned -
One single pill worn in each pocket. will
Instantly give ease, room, and elasticity 10
the highest pan,nloons; like quantity
will create an appetite in the most delicate
stomach, or physlc horse ; they will also
be found 10 give a rich flavor 10 appl.
dnmplings. and II peculiar zest to picked
oysters; they will thckcn SOAP reduce
corpulenl persons. and nIe an excellent bait
Tor mouse-traps; one pill dissolved in a
bucket OF rain water, will be found perfect.
ly water proof lining for canal entertainments;
placed 10 steamboat boilers, ihcy will effect
ually proven, their bursting and greatly
increase the speed of the boats
AS for their medical qunlites, they are
justly entitled TO be called. Medicamenlum
Gralia Proba,um,' id est, remedy approved
by gruce-ior they elfectnally cool ST. Anlh.
ony's Fire. and stop ST. Vitus' dance; they
purify the pmples in small pox, and ladicate
the red gum in lettings, reduce white
swellings, and cure black jaundice, green
sickness, blue devils, scarlet, aud any other
colored fever; they cure the thrush in chill
dren. and the pip in hens. the sleggers in
horses, and the nightmare in owls.
But further enumeration is unnecessary.
Suffice II 10 say that this medicine is com.
bination upon new principles. which were
discovered solely by the present proprietor's
immortal Grandmother, and which are an
exception to all The rules Of science, common
sense, and experience so that while they
are the most powerful agent in nature.
revolu,ionizing the whole animal econolny.
and eradicating incurable diseases, they are
at the same time perfectly innocen, prepar-
alton, and may be taken with entire safety
by the nursing infanl--all powerful. all
harmless.
The proprietor's modesty forhids his saying
more, except To inform the creduious public,
that this Universal Substitute may be had
Of his sole authorized agent on Third street,
not far from the Post Office Beware OF
counterieits for there are ms many Of them
sold asthere are OF the genuine.
N, b. 1t is confidently believed that
one of the above pills placed in the vault O
every bank in the country, would cnnse an
immediate resumption Of specie payments.
JUDGMENTS. Husband, do YOU believ,
in special judgments of Providence upon in
dividuals, in this life ?" YES, nv dear.
Do you indeed ? did one of them iudg
ments ever happen TO you 2" yes, m,
love" And what was it, husband pr
i" When married you. my dear"