Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1838-12-14
MAJOR DOWNING.

y
We hasten to lay before our readers
Letter from our aud their irienu WHY,
Downing, treating Of general matters unu
matters in general, and rails ana hamoass
in nar,icular. 1.-THE Sober second ihopgh,,s
ofthe people, don't give him hearty we''
come. we are very much mistaken.
49, ~ u Express.
To tho Editors Of the New York Daily Ex-
nrese-,be same paper my old friend MI
Dwight printed spell ago.
Nrw York, last Of November, 1888.
Gsn,lemen-The 1.-Two Pollies" having
hen considerably put back in fiilln out own
40 The notion of mixing up steam w0rhs
aboard on her SO as to make her equal to the
british (olks.-the "Great Western" and
So forth | haint had no time 10 look about
m. ne l,,e or take much OF a hand IN any
other nubIic matter but find there is con.
siderable work TO be done elsewhere, and
have list got long and sad Letter from
"Uncie Sam" who is awfully wamble eroPd
and wants me to come on TO Washington
and helm him over some of his troubles He
tells me his barn is full Of a,s-pleniy OF
straw. but little grain--and also that the
Aboiitioa;sts, the Anti mGsoas, the Canada
INfTlOtS, tue IDUU IfCOou'S'Si t'N ''''~ wv
rency folks. and lot of other HUmBUGs, are
nil besetting him and he says, If | will only
come on and stand by him we'll go through
all these troubles like dose OF salts and SO
forth. Now there never was the time yet
that ever let Uncle Sam want Trend II |
could get to him; and so III let the folks
here tinker at the safety valves and steam
kiules and get them all snug, and I'll 90 TO
Washington and lend Uncle Sam and Con-
gress hand Tor SPELL
There are no two things in all creation
like so well as btowing up hum6ugs and rat
hunting; and there are no two things IN any
country that stand so poor chance as rats
and humbugs--in this country when the
people get notion of acting on second So
Der thoughts so as Uncle Sam seems to be
j on that tack, il wont be much OF Job. |
have tell'd him the first thing to be done is
to look to the old barn, and he must lose no
time to secure the sarvices OF all the best
Terriers in the country, and get EN- in good
training, especially all the old and well tried
ones, who know how to station themselves
and not likely to be led off on the wrong
track-tha, could rely on such as old
Snap. and Clincher. and Spring, and Grab
duu tUCNtf, duu OHtuon, dhu Wc'tS'f ohe
such like, for have tried EN- all and if a
rale rat comes within jumping distance o
any of these he wont know his head IRON
his tail arter one squeak. All these old ant
faithful critturs amt had fair chance at ;
rat hunt for a long while, for whenever they
have taken their stations there has been sucl
a dust raised that there was no seeing Unci
Sam or the rats that he wanted to clear out
but things will be differently managed
hope this time, and we don't mean to max,
much noise about it, A leeile asaftity t
let EN- know trouble is coming and then on
shake and squeak and that will be the las
OF "a rat"
AFTER finishing off that business and husk
ing and threshing out what grain remains
and Citing that matter all balanced up, {
there is any balance lefty we will next ST
about sitting some of these humbugs Uncl
Sam is pesterd with of late. For it raj
does seem to me if second sober Thoughts
don't open folks eyes and let em see the d
ference twixt sound common sense and hun
bug, we best stop talking of "intetigence
and take up old Dilworth and go to schoo
again.
Ii was all the fashion a spell ago, wit
some folks. to talk up the doctrine that rio
folks Oppressed poor folks, surprising thf
there was more poor folks than rich onel
that doctrine would gain most votes-an
so it did for a spell, ill the second sobe
thoughts" of the people convinced them thf
rich folks and poor folks were equally usefu
to and dependent upon one another, and ths
separation did each equal harm, and S
that cock wouldn't fght-then agin it wa
said one man was as good as any other MAI
no matter how ragged and dirty his shi
was, that this was free country, and en-
mnn who wore clean shirt and had none
in his pocket was an aristocrat, and warn
TO be trusted no how and no way in tn
world-and that he was taraal Conserrt
tive Fsderai-but a ragged dirty shirt an
no money was the sign of good and reliG
bic democrat-and he was the man to b
trusted. But the sober second thoughts
OF the people found out that this was nc
sound doctrine. tho it sounded well. Their
was something in 1t that seemed to wa
against common sense and hold up bonn
to the profgute--it seemed to say, "if yo
work and make yourselves independent
us---sce that is U. s. wo' ut trust YOU Kee
poor and dependent-and submissive, an
hurraw for as. and we'll take care on yo,
Well, so it wes-and Uncle SANS barn tell
the rest of the story. Now this is one hun
bug that is blown up, by VIVA. may be CALI
Spontaneous combustion"
The next is---but TO make long stor
short best put all the rest Of the humbue
in one pot-for they all belong 10 the sam
mess--there is Masonry and anti Masonr n
A LII A.. A IL Al