Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1838-08-02

upon the children unto the third and
fourth generation" Mr.. Ichabod Nor
ton was OF opinion that Providence had
nothing to do with sudden deaths. He
was moreover Of opinion that i, was
scandalous for clergy men to pray for sick
people. who had become SO by their
own imprudence. An old clerical gem
tleman of eighty professed his horror OF
beef-steaks and coffee. He saidfhe had
been killing himself with them nearly
all his life! Another complained that
when he ate so much he could "neither
write nor think" (The fellow must
have been glutton, so that reform in
his case was necessary A Mr.. Good
ell wrote an .epistle to the convention
expressing his appreciation Of the cause ::
he thinks it "of greater consequence
than the imaginative powers of a finite
being can grasp" He furthermore de-
clares that the man "who tickles his
palate with mutton chop"''is trapped
in the webs of an effeminate expedien-
Cyl" The Courier we'll remarks, "what
eloquence! Robert Burns was said to
be ia compound of dirt and deity" and
Mr.. Godell may be described as conss-
ting OF "Indian meal, and imagination. !"
The Courier thus humorously con-
cludes its notice of this ridiculous affair:
"That nothing may be wanting TO dignity
the johnny cake, they have formed q society
in its behalf; and, as if the whole we're very
serious matter, we have tie constitution and
rules set forth in regular articles; how there
shall be president, three vice presidents, a
recording secretary, corresponding secreta
ry, treasurer, executive committee, council
r &c. &C.; how the president shall take the
chair, decide questions of order, &c.; how
motions may be made and how withdrawn
how the precious question shall always be in
order, and how the debate OIL the main ques
ton shall be put in this form-Shall the
main question now be put !"!!!
We beg leave with all due gravity 10 crit.
icize one or two Of these rules, which we
think not quite SO judcious, considering tina
the authors profess not TO be "trapped in the
silken webs of an effemina,e expediency. D
In the first place, "the terms of member.
ship shall be the payment of one dollar an,
nually, or fifteen dollars 10 constitute life
member." Now this takes for granted thai
life member will live fifteen years! Why
a man could no more live fifteen years upon
the food they prescribe, than he could grow
fifteen miles high.
+ In the second place, eff two or mere mem.
bers rise at once. the president shall decide
which shall have the floor" Now, there il
much more obvious and philosophical wa,
, ofdeciding questions of precedence among
these people; the ihinnest man ought AWAY
TO have the floor; he is justly entitled 10 il, q.
having done most in his own person TO &C
compiish the main effect of the undertak ing,
10 the third place, "No member shall be
referred TO by name in debate" This i,
parliamentary, but we suggest an improve
ment. The object of the society being "a
make the members as lean as possible, Their
should DC epithets of honor founded on ,hi.
leading principle. Members ought TO desig.
nate one another rs my emaciated friend
my attenuated neighbor'-',he lean gentle
man orposite'-'eur short wi ndeC: broiher'-
the reverend gentleman with the long iace'-
the thin member on eother side Of The House
&c. There should be honorary titles, too
for the president and the three vice presi
dnnts, es your siimness'--'your transps
rency Your most serene and impalpa biz
tenuity. To call man Stout gentlemen
should be held an insult; and the words soul
fat friend should be sufficient provocative
for "coffee and pistols"