Lincoln telegraph. [volume] (Bath, Me.) 1836-1846, 1838-08-16
NO. 20


abounds among them, thatthey seem utterly incapa-
BILE of doing right or speaking truth.-For Mr. Van
luren and his official minions. we prescribe that
they taFe the pills according TO their pay; one for
every dollar they receive and to John Fairfield we
prescribe three additional boxes that he may be the
better qualified TO keep shop, navigate coaster and
vote upon his own propositions in Congress by which
time he viii have sufficient selfknowledge not to
think of being gov,nor.
Members of Congress should be sufficiently sup
pied with them 10 prevent offensive and false ex-
pfesslons IN debate, thereby pr moring truth and
genlenness. preventing duellng and ensuring just
patriotic and truly republican course oflegisation.
10 Nicholas Eiddle we recommend occasionally
few doses. not because he has conducted The f.
nances Of the country in a manner that is wrong,
but, that under the effect of such purfyer, he will
ce toinly do right And TO all Legislators in all
ates we advise that it be sine quanon in all bank
charters that, ''the President, Directors, & CO.. be
required to swallow each pill, for every dollar in
paper issued beyond the amount Of their capital
which, we pronounce without fearof contradiction,
will be an effectual remedy against such an occur
ieOo "s susPohSon VI sPecie pay UeHts III all tne
TO come.
10 aboonists. coloHizaionists, saveowners
slave-traders, and slaves Their Selves do VIC recon-
mend a most thorough prandrethian purging. hey
should take The pHs with their morning rising, they
should cause them to be Incorporated with the AFTER
noon desert; pies buildings cakes and sweet-meats,
should contain physicing portion thereof; and the
evening should not rest upon their heads without an
additional dose of the Notifying medicine. We
should see the star of universal emancipation IN the
ascendant. The abolitionist and colonizafionist
would unite upon equitable ground the master
would cease TO own slave, the slaves would be.
come Immediately fitted for freedom, by the posses
sion 'f innocence, purity, and 'teachabeness the
millennium would already have commenced and the
voices of the multitude would shout from the 81
Lawrence TO the Sabine, Hail Columbia hanpv
la d." The commanders and crews of steamboats,
should not be forgotten amidst the shower Of less.
ings, which these pills are capable of producing;
but they should be drugged with high pressure do
SEES, till all careessness and imp udence ceases and
the present prodigal waste of human life be at an
end, and the traveller be secure as the atzan or
shopkeeper in his avocation.
The press requires universal purifying. Tho
wings that they may be more pure; the Loco Fo.
COS that they may become less corrupt; though
there be some among them with the Globe NJ the
head and the N H. Patriot at the tail, including the
Eastern Argus, the Age the oston Post, &c, that
have become so utterly corrupted that there remains
not particle of the regeneratng principle, upon
which to commence the process of publication.
The effect Of the remedy in these doses must be IN
evilabe and almost immediate dissolution Die
they must; and as that which purfies where there is
aught capable ofpuriying hastens dissolution in ca
ses utterly hopeless, we recommend 10 be hastily
administered doubly fatal dose that the atmosphere
may the sooner cease to b. polluted by the filthy
vapors, which constantly exhaie from these putrd
masses.
TO him who occasionally serves as chairman in
certain ''club do we propose that he swallow
few hundred in the hope acquiring sufficient mod
esy TO be convinced that an appeal may be taken from
his absurd and arrogant decisions in certain cases by
which reason and decency will be much the gamer
And last and least we prescribe an Infant portion
for the juvenile editor editors, Gus we'll as for
the brainess prnter) of certain little sheet which
processes to be neutral in politics, but which is III
fact, Jackson Van Buren, Loco Foco, half disguised
The virtues of the universal medicine may so pun
fy their Young blood that henceforward the pledges
given in the prospectus will be hoIoraby redeem,
ed in which they promised what has not been per-
formed; but like their grea. patterns. the late and
present administrations, found it convenientto m ks
fair promises but greatly 10 depart from them in
practice. BoLUS.
Flare up al Bowdoia We learn that