Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1838-03-03
|pfAUNKEE EXPRESS.
SATURDAY. MARCH 8. 1888.


Devils were all aleep in their garrets, dream
ing only Of armies Of rats, charging and re-
treating in battle array over their counter
panes, when sufficient number of Sheets, oi
an sizes, from the puny 6 by g. to the pur-
sy blanket, heavy and obscure in Alderman
ic dignity, having convened to deliberate, with
due solemnity, upon the state of the Democ-
racy in general, and upon the course pursued
by the Press upon the subject Of the Canada
war, in particular, the Hon. Columbus States
man, was called to the Chair, and Painesville
Republican, Esq, appointed Secretary. The
Hon. President having declared his sense Of
suffocation for the weight of honor imposed
upon him, as well as his utter imbecty in
comparison to the weighty duties of his res
ponsible situation, proceeded to state the OBJ
jects of the meeting as follows: "The diff
culties in Canada has added another proof tc
the ten thousand on record of the inveterate
feelings Of the federal party against the gov
ernment. II makes no difference what people
or under what circumstances, they are con-
tending for freedom, they are certain to re-
ceive the sneers and opposition of these nat
ural enemies to popular government. We
protest against the language Of the tory
prints, treating this matter as they do in de-
rision. These suffering Patriots deserve our
kindest sympathies." The distinguished
Secretary then arose. He agreed with the
Hon. President in this matter. lie did so in
all things. 1t was his privilege sanctioned by
Democratic usage to do SO. He believed in
bis denunciatons of the federal, tory, royalist,
bank, aristocratic, monopoly, whig papers.
He was not behind the Hon. Gentleman in
patriotism. +" But" said ne, {" it is with sor-
row that zoe must confess that some of our
brethren have been led to adopt the same
course. This 10 wrong. They dishonor their
cause by walking in the same path with the
noxious wings. We must set them right.
lLoud cheers.l We must wind them up
anew. Tremendous cheering.] say, sir,
it must be DONE" The Secretary took his
seat amid the plaudits of the meeting.
Call Mr.. Monroe Times to the bar
A pale faced, nervous wight, presented
himself blushing SO terribly out ofcountenance
that it was impossible to make any thing out
Of his visage, which indeed seemed to change
at every suffuson, so as to destroy every ves-
tige Of identity. He plead &C want of juris-
diction in the assembIy-to try him" and turned
to depart.
"No," roared the President. Wehaye ju-
risdiction. Don'tyou take the Globe? Don't
you read it! Don't you see the track there
marked out ! So do we take it. We have
the same bond of union, and you are bound
to-
/" But the President"- chimed in the fright
ened Times.
/" Whst Of the PRESIDENT" interposed the
Hon. President. Have you've eyes! Know
you, sir, that the eyes of the world are on tie
President, and he must suit his policy to the
times; but the Globe, sir, is your standard,
see that you 60 by it,"
Call Mr.. Manhattan Advertiser.
A Jolly sOeH set chap, with knowing "dogs
ear" at one corner took his place at the bar.
Well, Mr.. Advertiser, what have you to
saya You didn't believe in the burning Of the
Caroline, hehl You followed the President
too, did You!
+" / followed the people, when found they
.wOu!s'nt follow me-" gfinned Mr.. Advertiser.
'fBnt-"
But! no butts Mr.. President, if you please !;
I'm right, and viii prove it. Isn't civil IL
berty inherent in the persons of all men!
Yes!
Well, then, is not the most efectual securi-
ty Of civil liberty to be found in securing the
person? And are not the persons of most of
the Canadian patriots secured! Aye, that
they are Proved then. Come let's liquor.
Il. - IL