Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1838-09-29
Fashionable Prete 4.

u
who figure rather extensively in our fashionable CIR
cles and whose claims to distinction are, to say the
least, rather equivoca This our first number, will
be devoted to one whe deserves prominent place
in the catalogue for the vast number of dement's ne
combines the very allied position he aims to reach
and the absurd assumptions he displays in his futile
efforts fully ent,e him to stand al the head Of the
list.
He has name that is as musical as his voices bat
for shormess," we will call him Joseph Surface,
although we believe he has played in our columns
heretofore under the rude and ineegan cognomen of
the English Weaver !" but that was Arieps work,
not ours and as we learn that he was SO much
shocked at the ourageeusly vulgar little, that bleed
ing and restera,ives resored for several days,
we shall change IT for one we esteem more parhcu-
ary appropriate though perhaps literally not SO cor
rect.
Well, then, this awkward raw boncd asinne
block of stupidity and pompous nonentty mas of
late assumed such airs towards every gentleman with
any thing like responsibility of character, whose
minds elevate them in the esteem of all whose esteem
is valuable, his vocabulary of caumny and vitupera-
ton is freely dispensed that we feel it duty We
owe to ourselves well the good order Of society,
to open the portfeuals that records the black cata.
logue of his enoruitles, and Gull few of the least
of his Offences by way of giving him gentle hint
for the present. of the policy of pluckng the beam
from his own eye," &c. and if he profit by admo-
nons, we will leave him in his proper sphere, hum
bic secIusion. But if he busters and roars as is his
custom, we shall give him such blast as will call
forth the mysteries of the past TO him The cry OF the
hounds the lash of the scorpion, shall be mu-
sic and healing balm compared with it. So, sit ye
down, Mr. Surface adjust your specks and brace
your nerves, while we unfold some of the beauties OF
your composition and if the outline OF your picture
axes your hair stifened and erect, or your two
eyes press their sockets, what will be the effect OF
the filing up7 We cannot keep il. Justice must be
done, though The stars shoot from their spheres We
kaop yoa-your birth, parenage, education (educa-
uon Ball. how it smells of the loom !! We cannot
cotton 10 it)-your ngoings and your outgengs your
evil deeds and your good -- no, not good deeds
your course upon the mighty deep-your debut in
this haven of the tempest tos of fortune and Of fate
your gradual ascent upon the ladder of fortune to
the period of your descent of the lower rounds
your cGnglng thence and to--but stop-there
you are cllnging still and we really hope you will
listen TO our warning and reform, that you may be
able at least maintain yeur present positien But
~ our purpose
Joseph did you ever hear Of an incident like this?
A worthy excellent young man left his home in re-
tired spot in England, and came to Amerea-lecated
in New York, and very soon accumulated some lit
tie property and became favoraby knewn here;
proud of his success and fond of his kindred and ia
mily he dragged younger brother from his obscure
ty and brought him TO New York -placed him in bu-
siness, and secured him respectable station in So
ciey and plain road to Epeenee. After years of
exerton he visited the scenes of his childhood-was
manufactured TO this city to press the hand that
answered not with caress. His younger brother
treated him with rudeness unbecoming serf What
could be the reason? He had married in England
and might have an heir. Fraternal affection is
beautiful feature ia the character Of any one This
is item l ; now for No. 2.
There was rumor very current IN town some
years ago. of lucky wight who had gained the hand
of rich mans daughter by ruse, and quarrelled
with the father about the outfit furniture, &c. Mo-
desty is a pretty thing in man-in woman 1t is fea
tsre. The wife joined him in the warfare; she had
been very du,ful and aectionae child before mar
rises-and when the old man reflected that she had
graciously consented, in consequence OF his severe
Illness to come to his house to be welded, he yield
ed and gave out the amount required.
Item 3-Hew unfortunate that sster.in. law
should get married WITHOUT ASKING srDrotner ln-aWs
consent IL was perfectly proper 10 treat her has
band with rudeness and pass her unnoticed, as but
for such step, her money might have been at his
control IN few years; how conslderate
Item 4-You certainly have heard Of person who
rode out with his lady make calls for the express
purpose Of dssuadng Their friends from visiting their
own fathers house, for the avowed reason that the
whole family were plotting against them. Shocking
positively shocking!
Item 5-we know Of person who thinks quite as
much OF himself as anybody else; who undertook TO
regulate the movements and associations of the mem
bers Of family, with whom he is connected only by
marriage and in more than one instance nterfered d.
recty until he was given TO understand that his
vices were unsolicited and impairment. We would
70 little further, and give items g. and in this
nsmber-but hope it will be unnecessary. five find
an immediate Improvement in the individual, we shall
certainly withhold our more damning proofs, and
feel amply compensated for trouble We should
offer some sympathy to the man whose daughter he
wived, did we think him in the least entitled TO IL;
but the truth lie, the old gentleman deserves little
easdgation, and he will get il too If he is not
cautious how he NEEDLES with the affairs of those
with whom he has no concern. II he will confne
himself 10 the projections Of his concerns, he is
safe, bat if he continues to allow his tongue 10 veg
unfortunately, and al pleasure the rod that Is in