Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1838-02-10

thing-if man knows how to cypher,
he is sure to grow rich. We are a .cal-
culating people, we all cypher.
A horse that won't go ahead is apt TO
run back, and the more you whip him
the faster he goes astarn. That's jst
the way with the Nova Scotians they
have been running back so fast lately,
that they have tumbled over Bank or
two, and nearly broke their necks; and
now they've got up and shook themselves
they swear their dirty clothes and bloody
noses are all owing to the Banks. Iguess
it They won't look ahead for the future,
they'll larn to look behind, and see if
there's bank near hand 'em
A bear always goes down tree starn
foremost. He is cunnin crittur, he
knows tante safe to carry heavy load
over his head, and his rump is so heavy
he don't like to trust it over his'n, for
fear it might take lurch. and carry HIM
heels over head to the ground. So he
lets his starn down first, and his head
arter. | wish the blue noses would find
as good an excuse in their rumps for
running back as he has. But the bear
'cyphers,' he knows how many pounds
his hams weigh, and he calculates if he
carried them up in the air, they might
be top heavy for him.
If we had this Province. we'd go to
work and cypher right off. Halifax is
nothing without river or back country;
add nothing to nothing. and | guess you
have nothing still-add rail road to
the Bay of Fundy, and how much do
you get? That requires cyphering-it
will cost 100000 dollars, or $4,000
pounds, your money-add for notions O.
mitted in the addition column, one third
and it makes even money--GlO0,000.
Interest at per cent. 5000 pounds
year. Now turn over the slate and add
up freight make it itupwards Of $4,000
pounds year, If Ihad you at the desk
I'd show you bill of items. Now
comes "subsraction;' deduct cost Of
engines, wear and tear, and expenses,
and what not, and reduce it for short
ness down to 5000 pounds year, the
amount OF interest. What figures have
you got now? You have an invest
ment that pays interest, guess, and if
il don't pay more, then | don't know
chalk from cheese. But suppose it don't
and that it only yields 2 10 per cent,
(and it requires good cyphering, | tell
you, to say how it would work with folks
that like going astarn better than going
ahead) what would them are wise ones
say then? Why, the critters would say
it wont pay; but say the sum aint half
stated. p .l
p Can you count in your head7 Not
to any extent, said !. Well, that's an
eternal pity, said the clock maker, for
should like to show you Yankee Cypher-
ing. What is the entire real estate OF
Halifax worth, at valeaton =? really
cannot say. All, said he, | see you don't
cypher. and Latin and Greek won't do T;
them are folks had no rail roads. We'll,
find out, and then only add ten per cent
to il for increased value, and if it don't
give the cost of a rail road. then my
name is not Sam Slick. Well. The land
between Halifax and Adroise is worth
nothing. add five per cent to that,
and send the sum to the College, and AK
the students how much il comes to. But
when you gets into Hants county, |
GU ,ss you have land worth coming all
the way from Boston TO see. His Royal
the King, guess, han't got
the like in his dominions. Well, add Is
per cent to all them are lands that bor-
der on Windsor Basin, and S per cent to
what butts on basin Of Mines, and then
what do you get? A pretty considera-
Bile sum, | tell you-but its no use to give
you the chalks if you CAN'T keep the
Ialies. 5'ss loa
Now, we will lay down the school
masters and take up another book every
bit and grain as good as that, although
these folks affectto sneer at it--I mean
human natur. All said |, a knowledge
Of that was ofgreat service to you, GER
lainly, in the sale of your clock TO the
Did deacon; let us see how it will as
sist you now. What does clock want
hats run down? said he. Undoubted-
y to be wound up, replied. guess
you've hit it this time. The folks of
Halifax have run down, and they'll new
sr go to all eternity, till they are wound
up into motion; the works are all good,
md it is plaguy well cased and set-it
only wants a key. Put this rail road in
o operation. and the activity il will in
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