Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1838-03-10
MAUmEE c1TN, oH1o SATURDAY, MARCH 10, 1885.

leSs, lleleSS. III you nave ever Deen 10
sea in calm, you know what plagy
tiresome thing it is for a man that's in a
hurry. An everlastin fappin of the
sails, and creakin of the booms, and an
unsteady pitchin of the ship, and lyin a.
bout dozin away their time, and the sea
a long heavy swell, like the breathin Of
the chist OF some great monster asleep.
A passenger wonders the sailors are so
|plagy easy about it, and he goes a look
ing out east, and spyin out west, to see
if there is any chance of a breeze, and
says to himself, 'well if this amt dull
music, it's a pity Then how streaked
he feels when he sees steamboat clip
pin it by him like mad, and the
folks on board pokin fun at him, and ask
ing him if he has any word to send
home. We'll, he says, if any soul ever
catches me on board sail vessel again,
when Ican go by steam, III give him
leave to tell me of it, that's fact.
That's partly the case here. They
are becalmed, and they see US going a.
head of 'em, till we are cen most out
ofsight yet they han't got a steamboat,
and they han't got rail road indeed, |
doubt whether one half on 'em ever seed
or heerd tell of one or other Of them. /
never seed any folks like 'em except the
Indians, and they wont even so much as
look-they hav'nt the least morsel of GU
riosity IN the world; from which our
Unitarian preachers Ghey are dreadful
hands at doubtin, them. | don't doubt
but that some day or other, they will
doubt whether every thing aint doubt
in a very learned work, doubts whether
they were descended from Eve at ALL
Old marin Ewes children, he says, are all
lost, it is said, in consequence of too
much curiosity, while these poor copper
colored people are lost from having too
little. How can they be the same D.
Thinks that may be logic, old Duber-
some, but it aint sense, don't extremes
meet? Now, these blue noses have no
motion in them, no enterprise, no spirit,
and if any critter shows any symptoms
Of activity, they say he is man of no
Judgment, he's speculative, he's sche-
mer, he's mad. They -vegetate like a
lettuce plant in sarce garden, they
grow tall and spindlin, run to seed right
off. grow bitter as gall and die.
A gall once came to our Minister'S to
hire as ahouse help; says she, Minister,
lsuppose you don't want a young lady
to do chamber business, and breed
worms, do you2 For | have half mind
to take spellfat living out. (She meant
house work and rearing silkworlns, said
the Clockmaker.) Ny pretty maiden,
says he, a pattin her on the cheek, Gor
Eve observed old men always talk kinder
pleasant to women) my pretty maiden,
where was you brought up? Why, says
she, guess warnt brought up at all, ]
growed UP. Under what platform, says
he, Gor he was very particular thatsall
Of his house helps should go to his NEE
tiny under what Church platform o.
Church platform says she, with toss
of the bead, like young colt that got
check with the curb, | guess | warnt
raised under any platform at all, but in
as good a house as yourn, grand as you
be. You said well, said the old minis.
Ter, when you said you crowd up, dear,
or you have grown up in great igno-
'ance. Then guess you had better
get a lady that knows more than me,
lays she, that's flat. reckon am as
rood as you be, every bit and grain-lf
don't understand bum-byx (silkworm)
10Th feedin, rearin, and breedin, then h
want to know who does, that's all j.
hurch platform, indeed, says she, guess /
1ou were raised under glass frame, in {
March, and transplanted on Independ-
nee day, warnt you? And off she sot, |
ooking as scorny as London lady, and
Gavin the poor minister standin starin
ike stuck pig. Well, well, says he
lifiin up both hands, and turning up the
whites ofhis eyes like duck in thunder,
that don't bang the bush 1t fairly
eats sheep shearing, after the blackber-
y bushes have got the WOOL 1t does, |
ow; them are the tares that Untarians a
ow.in our grain field at night; / guess S
heyll ruinate the crops yet, and make j,
he ground so everlastin foul, we'll have 5
) pear the sod and burn it, to kill the 4
oots. Our fathers sowed the right seed i
ere in the wilderness, and watered it {
'iththeir tears, and watched over it with a
lstin and prayer, and now it's fairly run Z
Ut, thafsa fact, Isnore. It's got choak- Il
up with all sorts of trash in natur, I s
ow never seed the beet o'that in all [
ly,born DAYS. Il