Columbus Democrat. [volume] (Columbus, Miss.) 18??-18??, 1838-07-14
ADVICE TO YOUNG LADIES.
I FURNISHED Br REQUEST.

raj Moith' hut do not Iaii iutp Tue pttNheiN ttsd'
ION Of talking abau, Platosie lore, and having
one gentleman devoted 10 YOU, IN public and IN
private, as your chosen ltiend and conGdant-
THIS rs folly pregnant with mischief where It -
entered upon IN good hath, and It's rondeted
Jouhly odlous by The use some ladies' make ot y.
merely 10 secure themselyea a beau on all occa-
stons. Much nonsense Is talked about Platun'e
love,by gals Who know not the real meaning ol
the word, and who designate, by that term, the
restless craving Of their hearts ior sympathy, but
who are iarherest removed from the calm and
pure sentiment described by Plato.
As soon as young ladies 20 into general socle.
ty, they are liable 10 receive attentions thai md'
cate particular regard, and long before they are
really old enough to form any such ties, they OF
ten receive matrimonial oyertureS, il is therefore
highly necessary to know how to treat them.
The offer OF mans heart and hand Is tho
greatest compliment he can pay You, and howov
CT undesirable To you those gifts may be, they
should be cautiously and kindly. declined; and
SINCE a refusal Is, TO most men, not only dIsap.
pouncnt, but modification, II should always
be prevented If possible. Men have yarons
ways Of oherishing and declaring their attach
ment; those who Indicate the bias Of Their feelings
in many integble ways before they make d..
rect offer, can generally be spared the pain Of
refusal. II you do not mean TO accept gentle
man who IS paying you avery marked attention,
YOU should avoid receiving them whenever you
ran; YOU should not allow him to escort you, and
should show your dspleosute when jckcd about
him; aud il sounded by mutual friend, lot your
want Of reciprocal feelings be very apparent.
10, All k,. su,ur,sn ba-
cause thcro are men who are SO secret IN these
matters, that they do not even the object Of their
affections suspect their preference unu they sud
| dcaly declare themselves lovers and suitors. In
such case as that, you will need all your pres
enco Of mind, OF the hesitation produced by sur
prise may give rise 10 false hopes. lyon have
| any doubt upon the matter, you may fairly ask
time to consider Of il on the grounds Of your nov
or having thought Of the gentleman IN the light
of lover before; but II you are r0soved against
! the snt, ondeayor to make your answer 80 decId-
ed as to finish the ALTAR at once. Inexperienced
| gIr5 sometimes feel so much the pam they arc
nillclng, that they use pharases which feed low
er's hopes; but Tbs Is mistaken Tenderness; your
answer Should be as decided as i, is courteous.
Whenever anoiicr is made in writing you should
| INIlf W ~ Us eNult 10 IhNslUlN Hiu WIS
case none Of tho cmbarassuenls, Of personal
interview, you can make such selection Of
words as will best convey your meaning. II Ihc
person is osmable, you should express YOU
sense Of his merit and your gratitude lol hs pref
cronco in strong terms; and your refusal Of hi
hand on the score Of your not feeling for him tina
peculiar preference necessary 10 the UNION hs
seeks. This makes refusal as little painful AZ
possible, aud soothes The feelings you are obliget
10 wound The gendemans letter should be re-
TUNED m your reply, aud your lips be closed OF
tho subject forever aficre ards. II is his secret
and you have no right TO tel il 10 any; but If YOU
parents are your confidential friends on all othoI
occasions. he viii not blame you for telling them.
Your young female friends should never be al.
lowed to tease OF banter you into the betaying
Of this secret You cannot tdrn your ingenuity
to better account than BY using It to battle then
curiosity Some girls me tempted 10 tell If o.
offer and refusal 10 order 70 account for cessa'
ton Of those attentions, on the part Of the gen
tlcmap, which have been before 80 constant aud
marked rs to be Observed BY their iiicnda, i'ui
this is 10 sufficient reason for telling another per-
sons secret You cannot always prevent a sus
pcon Of the truth, but you should never conlifm
it by any disclosure Of yours.
Ii YOU are SO situated to meet the gentleman
whose hand yoll have refused, you should do II
Hith frank cordially, aud put him at case by be-
having as it nothing particular had passed be-
tween you. If this manner Of yours be 50 far
mistaken as to lead to the renewal Of the Offer,
! let him Soc ns soon as possible that be has noIh-
ing to hope from importantly, aud that # he would
preserve your lficndslnphc must seek no more.
| Always cudcayor 10 make true friends 81 your
| rejected lovers by the delicacy. and honor with
which you treat them. If, when your own con.
duct has been unoxccptonable, your refusal 70
marry man produces resentmcni, It argues some
fault Of character in him, and can only be lamcn-
| ted in silence. The feeling Of many high-mIud-
! cd man on such an occasion, Is akin 10 that which
| once knew, expressed by noble and delicate
| soul who had loved friend of mine in vain so
far from feeling mortified or angry, he said, II
am proud TO have loved you. Such sentiment
does honor TO both parties.
| Never think the loss Of man because he has
been refused even if it be by lsdy whom you
do not highly value. tits nothing to his dlsad-
vantage. III exercising their preiogatlvo VI MAX
! ing the first advances the wiscst occasionally
make great mistakes, and tho best will often be
drawn into an affair Of lis sort against their OWE
better Judgment, and both arc but too happy il
thy escape with only the pain Of beng refused
So far from its being any reason mol accepting .
wise aud good friend when he offers himself te
-you, it should only increase your thanhiuness sc
the overriding Providence Of sod which reserved
him for you, and to the lady through whoe Instru
mentality he is still free to choose.
| A QuERY.-lf man sells a horse as a Sounc
one, taking his note for the same, aud the animal
proves not what it was cracked up to be-" The
buyer is justified in refusing to pay the note
Our banks are far ahead Of the sellers Of unsound
horses, inasmuch as they pass Their notes 70 the
borrower at the rate Of 100 cents to the dollar
which the borrower finds to be worth some ~ OF
] % eau,s ln.s Onery Wore banks debtoI