Staunton spectator, and general advertiser. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 183?-1849, 1838-03-22

4
you don't check 'em too short. If Won do
they'll step again, run back and kick like
| and then Old Nick himself wouldn',
EN-. Pugwash, I guess, dent under,
stand the natur of the cr,t,er she'll never
gn KIND IN harness for him. pnen see a
ch'ia, SAID The Clock maker, 1 ol,cays feel safe
,otfh fhese ,co'nen folk for Ihare aI,oays
found that the road to a ,romun's heart lies
through her child.
You seem, said TO understand the female
heart 90 well. make no doubt you are a gen
era! favorite among the fair sex. ANY man
he replied, that understands horses. has a
pretty considerable fair knowledge of wo.
men. for they are jist alike in temper. and
require the very identical same treatment.
Encourage the timid ones, be gentle and sfea-
dy Nth the fractions, but iather the suisu
ones like biases.
People talk an everlastin sight OF nonsense
about wine, women and horses bought
and sold 'em all, Pve traded in oil of them.
and ! tell you there Amt one in thousand
mat Knows grain about eiihe: on 'em.
You hear folks say, Oh, such a man is an
ugly grained cri,ter, he'll break his wife's
heart Jist as If a womsn's heart was as brit
lie as pine stalk. The female heart, as far
as my experience goes, is jist like new In
ola Rubber shoe; you may pull and pull at
II, ti'l 1t stretches out yard long, and then
let go and il will Hy right back to its old
shape heir hearts are made OF stout lea.
Their. ] tell you there's plagy sigh, of
wear in 'em
] never knowed but one case of broken
heart, and that was in lo,her sex, one Wash.
ing'on Banks. lie was sneezer. lie was
tall enough TO spit down on the head of your
grenadiers, and near about high enough TO
wade across Charlestown River and as strong
as a tow boat. | guess he was somewhat
less than foot longer Than the moral law
and catechism too. He was perfec. pictur
Ola maa ; ysu couldn't fall him in no parrc-
uiar; he was so just made critter; folks
used TO run to the winder when he passed,
and say, there goes Washington Banks,
bean, he lovely? do believe there wasn't
gall in the Lowell factories that warnt in
love with him. Sometimes, al intermission
on Sabbath days, when they all came out
together, Gan amasn handsom sight too, near
about whole congregation of young gals)
Banks used TO say, | vow, young ladies,
wish had five hundred arms to reciprocal ,e
one with each OF you; but reckon have a
heart big eneug b for you all its Wrapper,
yeu may depend, and every mite and morsel
OF u at your service. Well, how you do act,
"Aa' AeHnoS nan tDOuSdnN IItti6 CilpDer
clapPcr tongues would say, all at the same
time, and their dear little eyes sparkIin, like
SO many stare twinklin of frosty night.
Well, when last seed him, he was all
skin and hone, like horse turned oul 10 die.
He was teetotally deieshed, mere waIkin
skeietIn. l am dreadful sorry, says I, TO see
you, Banks. leokin so peecked; why you
look like sick turkey hen, all legs; what
on nIFlh aiis you! am OWN saws he of N
broken heart! What, says |, have the CALLS
been jiliin you? No, no, says he, beant
such fsoi as that neither. Well, says !,
have you made a had speculation? No, says
he, shakin his head, hope have too much
clear grit in me to take on so bad for that.
What under the sun is it, then? said I. Why,
says he, msde be, the fore part of summer
with Lettenant Oby Knowles, that could
shoulder tho best bower of the Constitution
fr'ga'e. ] won my bet, bot the <7nchor ,ras
so ete,7.aliy heavy 1t broke my heart e.! Sure
enough, he did die that very fall, and he was
the only instance | ever heerd tell ofa 6roh en-
heart