Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1838-09-21
IRISH ADJUDICATION.


the Police Office New York An Irish.
man came up TO answer the complaint OF his
wife for being about to abandon her and 60
to New Orleans The lady herself was IN
the Police Office, when her husband came
into it, and one oftbe officers good natured.
w brought them both into an inner room,
with the intention of arranging the matter
amicable between them
The wife again stated the cause OF her
grievance, namely that her loving lord was
about TO leave her and go to New Orleans.
What have you to say to that asked the
officer Are you going to New Oreans2
Going to New Orleans replied Pat ;
how can be going to New Orleans when
am standing here before you jist going no
where at all.
But have you thought Of going there ?
Well don't know; il had money TO
buy farm there, might go there, sure en-
ough
There is no use in such nonsensica pre-.
varicaion. Tell me at once, do you mean
TO abandon your wife
Why, then, even if did abandon her. it's
only what she deserves for there never was
ii woman that took in man so cruelty as
she did mel
How did take you in, said the wife an,
grily
Och its yourself that knows it WE'LL
Did not you tell me you had Sl002
WIFE-Oh Il never tould you any such
thing. touId you was wOrM 500
HusBAND-And sure you were not worth
any such thing.
W1FE-Wasn't |, indeed had good
feather bed and bedstead, and chairs and Ia
bic, and suppose | was worth something
myself and if you put all these things to.
gethcr, pm sure it's worth more than 500
You worth something said the husband
with contemptusais 1eer,-why, what the
ID are you worth ?
Oh, yes, said the officer, who began to be
amused with the bitterness which the anna
Bile couple felt towards each other, n rood
wife is an invaluable jewel to her husband.
|, Fax, replied Pat, don't see how you can
make that out. for if poor man wanted his
breakfast, there isn't pawnbroker in New
York, that would lend him sixpence on his
wife and do you know that pawnbrokels are
purity good judges of things. If wives are
such Invaluable jewels, | wonder how it
happens that there is so many poor men in
the world, for there is nothing aser in life
than to get wife but very few men found
themselves any richer by getting one And
as for my Invaluable jewel standing beside
you there, I'd be very glad 10 sell her for
fifty cents, aye and take shinpasler in pay
ment. It's that would wish the man that
bought her luck of his bargain-Faix,
think he'd soon give me half the money 10
take her back again
But recoliect, you took her for better or
for worse.
| didn't take her for better that is purity
evident
Is it not a shame for a man to speak OF
his wife in such manner. You ought not
10 have married her if you did not intend to
respect and honor hel as your wife
Honor her, is a. Arrah, do you mean
that should spake to her as if. she was a
Justice OF Pace and say Judy your Honor
won't you wash my shir2 Och, in trota,
sir, you're only funning me when you say
such a thing.
see there is no use :" epr~kng to you
IN the snb;ect QUILL most certainly be
sen, IN ,-.oon; for you can't expect tha, the
.-ople are TO be burthened with the support
Of your wife
And how will sending me TO Jail mend
the matter If I'm put in prison the people
must support both my wife and myself |
can't see how the people will save any thing
by doing that
Oh, but you'll he kept in prison to teach
you that you must be good husband. and
live united with your wife
All then that's drole way 10 keep cou.
pie united 10 lock myself up here in
jail and send my wife two miles off to the
Aims House. Myself never heard of such
an inrentiOn for uniting a man and his wife
It's something like one night sIep with
another man and was ilIe uneasy and he
gave me kick that knocked me clean GU,
OF the bed on the floor And saws. | neigh.
Dor, what did you do that for2 in order 10
make you sleep quiet in your bed say he
and moi to be disturbing me. That's why
did it. Fair and says |, it's mighty droII
way 10 make man sleep quiet in his bed, to
KICK MN out OF 1t on the floor. And nv.
sell thinks purity much the same sort of
thing to lock up man in one Jail and his
wlle IN another Jail ten miles of, by wav off
making them live together. 1t bates all |
ever heard of.
As The officer found it was all in vain to
urge the matter with Paddy, he handed him
over to Justice Hopson, and the Justice very
soon put an end TO Pats argufcation by
committing him TO prison.
AccIDENT-A stranger, by the name of
Joseph Benson, fell from scoffold in
barn while employed in moving away hay,
and died five days afterwards the 10Th uk
MIR Benson came TO this town but a few