The native American., 1838-03-03

the tore-ShOrtencu giant. uey are SO Ialelys
the women are all mad-well they mayv
why sov asked the other
What a flat replied Mr.. Bullhead, syou must
be! Don't you know! Why-it all comes of
the Queen"
whats amiss,' said short but enormously
fat, broad-chested man, dressed with the most
scrupuous regard to cleanliness, though the task
and trouble were rendered more than double by
the never ceasing though copious, tide of perspi-
ration that rushed through every pore he quick
ly shufled his mark-tme feet along, putting and
blowing like grampus What's amiss!' he
re-inquired.
This effort, for effort it was, since all fat per-
sons are perforce, tacturn, together with sundry
attempts, vainly made, to CLEAN ocular informa-
ton by craneing over other peoples shoulders,
occasioned the most frightful palpitation of the
heart and chest; betrayed, Notwithstanding the
stiffness of his large shirt-frill and white Mar
celia waistcoat, by sprig of geranium which
was inserted in the fourth buttonhole from the
bottom, and which kept oscillating and flicker
ing like dog-vane in squaly weather.
Are you surgeon!' eagerly asked cabman
who, whip-in-hand, seemed sadly in want of
fare; for if you are, here's job for you, sir;
and I'll whip'-(he might well say whip, for the
poor beast he drove could not be induced to move
a step without)-l'll whip the old lady home
to your place in a jiffy-'
Surgeon, indeed, quoth an ill-favored, peering-
Ieyed, peaked-nose inspector of the pavement,
experimenting gang of Irish paviors. What
are we speering at, mon! / tell ye, he's no
ane o. the profession ava. Ye may ken that by
his gay vestment. Nor wad ilka son o. the
lancet rim the awesome resk O. pampering his
wame till that size. Sirgeon! he's list nea sic
thing; but of your landmarks dinner callants
wha sings at city feasts, and gets paid for eating
thurtell and yen'son at the expense Of the body
corporate O. Lunnun.'
| The man of fat listened to this character of
himself with little satisfaction. Though stout
one. he was person of great delicacy, and still
greater sensitiveness. This imputaton upon i'm
putation in quick succession shocked him. His
nostrils distended, his pale-bue eyes appeared to
protude further out of their sockets, his color
fled. Nor was it to be wondered at. With him
the whole business of life had been to cater for,
and nourlsh his outer man, to keep up his flesh;
!, not reduce it. Venesection, phlebotomy, and
all sorts Of blood-letng were his adherence, even
) III thought. With consistent composure he could
have died through surfeit or appoplexy, and no
doctor earth could have induced him, though
to save his life, to part with an ounce of the vital
fluid. With these impressions and prejudices, to
be taken Tor one of the sect of Sangrado was un-
/ pleasant. But the manner in which the error had
v been set right was even less agreeable. The
= character given of him by the garrulous Scotch
d man piqued him more. The tale had that in il
which makes what is merely disagreeable, posi-
lively offensive. 1t was true So much was
his pride hurt that though he disliked the mans
Fl and dstrlsted the cabs want of capacity, he de-
termined to embrace the claimants Offer and thus
escape further impertinence. The attempt, how
ever, tailed; Tor In struggling to squeeze himself
into the narrow vehicle, his unwieldy propor-
tions became visible as to attract the attention
of some sailors, who just then hove in sight. INV
precious eyes and limbs, Jack said one, there
a starn for a first-raterv
4 1T looms,' said his companion, catching the
vein OF low humor, 'as large as the head of Kin
sale IN iog as they pointed to the subject Of
their derison.
The melancholy of the crowd around the Door
sufferer changed for moment to mirth: loud
laughed the men, the boys haIlooed, the dogs
barked, high sounded the lash, yet the cab-horse
remained anmoved, until donkey, that appeared
to have turn Tor the ridiculous, added his start
ling note to the mirthful chorus, and sent the
frightened jade off at her best speed
i What's the matter! what's the matter? now
asked several voices; for the crowd had increas-
ed and those on the outside of it could not even
Sct d PoeP d. tiie oDJcct Ol all thlS curiosity.
Its haccident as has append to a poor
CONAN as is runned over by them Piccadilly
butchers ascortin' the purcession,' said an old
master-sweep, whose head, like dwarfs. dis
|proportionately large, shone white as snow. in
despite of his sooty trade, and displayed the tr-
umph of nature over art
Lard, how people can tell liesr said foot
soldiers wife, who had come out with some
friends for holiday: 'and Clergyman too, added
she, with toss Of the head you're disgrace to
. your cloth. No, your rivirence you've Got the
wrong end it. But it's like the rest of Won. Won
ovid Radicle. | seed it all. 1t wan'rt no sucb
thing as Piccadilly butcher, though it were a
bullying butcher that upset her, and believe he
has Knocked the poor creatures eye out with the
horn of his tray
It's all fudge said the sweep contemptuouslv.
swapping his fingers.
1T ant no fudge, sir she replied; she's
qualntance O mine, and woman of propertv
Lard knows how begged her to stop indoors
and told her she was sure to come by some ac,
cident.' -
'Ihen sarve her right retorted the old sween
who was nettled at being dubbed a clergyman
and rated radical. what the devil brouah,
4 A. X ~