The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1838-11-24
MISCELLANEOUS.
BROKEN HEARTS.

what Is called "a broken heart In this In
stance | am almost as confirmed sceptic as
Sam Slick that shrudest of Yankee clock
makers. "What sir" methinks hear some
green sentimentalist exclaim, "do you then
attach no credit to the histories of Sappho
and Phaon, Hero and Leander, and hundred
others that could mention, who died, beyond
all possibility of cavil, of broken hearts Z"
unquestionably not: believe, indeed, that
such people lived, and that in process Of time
they were gathered to their kindred earth;
but deny that they died, either directly or
indirectly, Of the pathetic malady attributed
to them. For who are our authorities on this
point The poets--a set OF fellows whose
indifference to facts is notorious, and who
tell such preposterous lies, and with such a
grave face too, that there is actually no believ-
ing single word they say The case of
Sappho, who, these inventive gentry assure
US, flung herself from Leucadia's steep" in
consequence Of having been deserted by
Phaon at time when she babe fair to increase
the parish burdens, take to be neither more
nor less than this Being of an imaginative
temperament, as young women are apt to be
at her age, she was one fine day watching,
from the rock in question, the rich glory of
Groeinn sunset, when in the ardor of her en-
'nuslasm, leaning forward TO catch glimpse
OF the ruddy waves that broke with a dull.
heavy crash upon the Shingles. she lost her
balance, and threw an undignified summcrset
from the top of the precipice to the bottom.
There was no sentiment in the matter; ii was
purely an accident-an affair, not of a broken
heart but Of broken neck. The case Of
Hero conceive to be just as clear as that of
Sappho. She kept company, it is well
known, with Leander, but her father who was
a respectable man, and in large way of bust
ness, disapproved Of the match, for the fellow
had nothing to recommend him as a son-in-
law-no money in the funds---no landed es-
tates---no improvements in houses---nothing,
in short, but passable face and intrepid i'm
pudence Still, notwithstanding these obiec-
tons, Hero stuck to her sweetheart and
persisted in having stoenin interviews with him;
whereupon, her venerable parent, like SEN
sibe man as he was, threatened to lock her
up in coal-hole: and it was in running away
from him just as he was about to put his threat
into execution, that the agitated young woman,
who had rushed out upon the leads of the
house, like Rebecca when she flew from the
Knight Templar---made one step too many
pitched head over heels into the Hellespont,
and met that death which has immortalized
her memory. These, contend, are the true
versions Of the stories of Sappho and Hero,
which are now for the first time stripped Of
the sentimental embellishments that the poets
have flung round them, and viewed by the So
Der day light Of common sense.
But disrnissing the ancients, take modern
instance or two Of broken heart as they
pass current in the social circles, and see what
is to be made Of them. What more common
in the boudor or the drawing room, than such
conversation as this ? do you know Miss
Sims 7" "Yes." "Ah. poor thing, she is
greatly to be pited. She was to have been
married to Captain Dobbs, Of the Emiskillen
Dragons, but before the lawyers had finished
drawing up the settlements, old Sims took
umbrage at something or other; the match
was declared off; the Captain was compelled
to set out on pressing business to Boulogne,
and poor, dear Ethelinda has ever since been
dying Of broken heart" "Bless me you
don't say so how shocking" "Fact--I had
note from the sweet girl but yesterday,
wherein she solemnly assures me, in post
script, that she shall never survive the shock
her sensibili,y-for she was all soul, you
know--has sustained /; and that, though her
papa, by way of converting her melancholy,
has offered to take her to Epson, vet that she
has not the heart to 60 there 7" "What! not
go to EPSON on the Derby day! Well, !
never All, poor thing, her heart is indeed
broken % And yet this forlorn damsel, thus
said to be dying Of the most interesting of all
malades, and creating in consequence sen
sation whenever her name is mentioned, plucks
up spirit enough, few weeks aiterward, to
run off with her fathers footman--a smart
young fellow, with glib tongue, round, laugh
ing face, unimpeachable calves, set off to the
best advantage in white cotton stockings, and
standing six feet in his shoes
Here is another illustration Of 'broken
heart a. pretty romantic heiress, who has