davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

savages, with their scalping knives and
tomahawks, whose rule Of warfare is undls-
tinguished destruction.
He has excited domestic instruction
amongst US by getting drunk before break
fast and making his wife and servant Sc
before dinner, whereby there is often the
devil to pay.
He has waged cruel war against nature
herself by feeding our horse with broom
straw; and carrying them of to drink
where swine refused to wallow
He has protected one-eyed Joe in his vii
lainy, in the robbery Of our jugs, BY pre-
tending TO give him mock trial, after shar-
big with him the spoil.
He has cut off our tra6e with foreign
ports, and brought in his ball faced whis-
key, when we sent him to buy better liquor
abroad, and with perfdy scarcely paral-
leled in the most barbarous ages, he has
been known to drink our foreign spirits
and fill our bottles with the most dire po-
tons.
He has imposed taxes upon us, to an
enormous amount, against our consent,
and without any rule but his own arbitra-
ry will and pleasure.
A landlord whose character is thus
marked by every act which may define a
tyrant and miser, is unfit to keep a
boarding house for Cherokee Indians.
Nor have we been wantingin our atten-
ton to Mrs. S., or Miss Sally. We
have appealed to their native justice and
magnanimity; we have conjured them to
alter state Of things which would inevi'
tably interrupt our connection and cores
pondence. They, too, have been deaf to
the voice of justice. We are therefore,
constrained 10 hold all three Of these par
ties alike inimical TO our well being and
regardless Of our comfort.
We therefore, make this solemn decla-
ration ofour final separation from our for
mer landlord, and cast our defiance at his
teeth.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

CHOICE OF NAMEs.-We were once &C.
quan,ed with couple who made choice OF
the most noted names of the day for all
their children, some half a dozen, and the
proud mother of the young Gracchi would
take every occasion, when strangers
were within hearing, to 'call the rolf oil
the "great folks" in something like the
following manner: "You Martha Wash
ington! come here this moment, and mind
Andrew jackson and William Shakespeare,
while Arthur Wellington helps Napoleon
Bonaparse over that mud puddle; and then
run and call your daddy to dnnerw
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19
VOL. 3.--NO. 20.

Scene in School Room.--A new pupil
entered, Of whom the pedagogue inquired,
"Can you read and spells"--"Yes," said
the urchin, 81 can read in the primer, and
spell later and gravy."-"Let's hear you
read and spell little" Here the lad read
and spelt in the most rapid manner, ain
Adams fall we sinned al'--John Rogers
burnt his steak for one small children and
nine at the Observation-Disclosures and
grave--ry--tater and gravery."-"You
may take your seat, and if hear any noise
from you | shall call you up and give you
a Hogging."--"Umph," said our hero,
Struggling his shoulders as he went to his
seat, a wouldn't come though, if you'd
give me two"
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19
MISCELLANEOUS.
Al MORAL TALE FOR THE TIMES.
From the New York Mirror.

From the NeU YORK Mirror.
A little Frenchman loaned a merchant
Ave thousand dollars when the times were
rood. He called at the counting-hcuse
lew days since, in state OF agitation not
easily described.
Chow do you dot" inquired the mer-
chant.
"Sick, YER Sick" replied the monsieur.
"What's the matter2"
"De times is de matter"
"DetimeS--what disease is thatV' :,
"De maladie vat break all de marchands
YER much"
"Ah! the times eh?--well they are bad,
very bad, but how do they affect your
"Vy, monsieur, lose de confidence"
ain whome"
ain every body"
"Not in me, | hope~
"Pardonnez moi, monsieur, but do moi
know who to trust at present, when all &c
marchands break several times all tc
pieces"
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

"Then presume you want your mo-
neyw
''Oui, monsieur, | starve for want OF
l'argent"
'Can't you do without itY'
"No monsieur, must have him."
"You musta"
"Om, monsieur" said little dmity
breeches, turning pale with apprehensions
for the safety Of his money.
"And you cant do without it?
"No monsieur, not Won leetle monument
longare."
The merchant reached his bank book,
drew check on the good old Chemical,
for the amount, and handed It to his visiter.
"Vat is dis, monsieur?"
ga check for five thousand dollars, with
the interest,""
sis it bon?" said the Frenchman, with
amazement.
Certainly"
"Haye you de Target in de bank"
"Yes."
"And it is parliament convenient to
pay ue sunni -
Undoubtedly. What astonishes you?"
"Vy,dat you have got him in dees times"
ooh! yes, and have plenty more. l
owe nothing that | cannot pay at a mo-
ments notice."
The Frenchman was perplexed.
"Monsieur you shall do me one ieetle
favor, ehs"
"With all my hearth
"Vell, monsieur, you shall keep de Tar
gent for me some leetle year longare."
"Why, thought you wanted it,"
"1out au coatraire. no want de Tar
gent, want de grand confidence. Sup
pose you no got de money den | want him
yer muchS suppose you got him, den |
no want him at all. Vous comprenez, eht
After some further conference, the little
Frenchman prevailed upon the merchant
to retain the money, and left the counting
house with light heart and a counter
ance very different from the one he wore
when he entered. His confidence was re-
stored; and although he did not stand in
need of the money, he wished to know that
his property was in safe hands.
This little sketch has moral, if the
reader has sagacity enough to find it out
The LAST OF THE Cooked HATS.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

Law Eloquence in Kentucky.-The fol-
lowing powerful, elegant, and classical APP
peal was made in court of justice some
where in Kentucky, by one Of the "earn'
ed heads" Of the bar. "Gentlemen OF the
jury, do you think my client, who lives In
the pleasant valley of Kentucky, where
the lands is rich and the soil are fertile,
would be guilty Of stealing elcoing little
skains Of cotting? | think not, reckon
not, / calculate not. And guess, gentle
men Of the jury, that you had better bring
my client in not guilty, for if you convict
him, he and his son John will lick the
whole Of YOU"
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

she first made this experiment, she says
this agitation was great; andto this hour
she cannot wholly diyest herself Of it,
though it gradually decreases. She re-
peated the trial several times, in different
parts Of the park, and her statements were
always accurate. Among these persons
in England who have the same faculty,
she never knew il SO strong as in sir c. H.
and Miss F. 1t is extraordinary that no
effect is produced at we'll or ditch, or
where the earth does not interPose be-
tween the twig and the water. The ex.
ercise Of this faculty is independent Of any
voltion. So far our narrator, in whom,
we repeat, the most implicit confidence
may be placed. The faculty so inherent
in certain persons is evidently the same
with that Of the Zohoires, though the lat
ter did not not employ the hazel twig.
Quarterly RepieU.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

A CUNNING RoGUE.--A clerk yesterday
going down Wall street to make a deposite,
had his bank book pearing and peeping
from his coat pocket, while he stopped to
gaze at the numerous carricatures near
the new Custom House. A we'll dressed
rogue came up behind him quietly, and
while winking and smiling to the mob, and
inviting them by signs to look at a neat
trick, he slipped the bank book out of the
pocket of the clerk, took out the notes, and
returned the book to the pocket, without
disturbing the clerk, who was still gazing
at the pictures. The bystanders, beliey-
ing him 10 be an intimate friend Of the
clerk, were highly tickled at the trick, and
laughed and chuckled at the anticipated
surprise Of the clerk. The rogue walked
slowly ahead, turned smilingly to the
crowd, put his finger on his lips to rejoin
silence, and actually disappeared with a
large sum in bank notes, thus obtained
openly where hundreds were looking on.
No one knows who he was, nor has the
money been recovered. 1t was bold, and
yet most dexterous robbery.--[N Y.
Star.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19
'pRINrEp AND PUBLISHED, WEEKLY,
4 RY A. w. FORSYTHE.

pMs....Four Dollars and Fifty cents in
nee. Five Dollars if paid within six months,
,ve Dollars and Fifty cents at the expiration
q year. No subscription VIII DC dlscont y,
mil all arrearages are paid, except at the
||sn of the publisher.
r,srMrNTs inserted at ONE DOLLAR per
"A. tisn lines. or less,) the first insertion,
s,,rv crNIs for each continuance. All ad'
III. Y. ,s must be marked with the number
VI 1..ssrt;ons required, or they will be continued
NV, lind and charged accordingly. Payment
" W. ,n.ds when the advertisement is left for
;Iss1 ION. or on demand.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

Enormous Bird.-Mr. Temple in his
"Travels in Peru" relates that he once
had an opportunity of shooting a con-
dor. |; was so satiated with its repast
on the carcass Of horse, says he, as
to suffer me to approach within pistol
shot before it extended its enormous wings
TO take flight, whic.l was to me the signal
10 fire; and having loaded with an ample
charge Of bullets, my aim proved effectu-
al and fatal. What formidable monster
did behold in the ravine beneath me,
screaming and Topping in the last convul-
siye struggle oflle! 1t may be difficult to
believe that the most gigantic animal
which inhabits the earth or the ocean can
be equalled in size by tenant ofthe air;
and those persons who have never seen a
larger bird than our mountain eagle will
probably read with astonishment Of spe-
cies Of that same bird in the Southern hem
isphere, being so large and strong as to
seize an OK with its talons, and lift it into
the air, whence it let's it fall to the ground
in order to kill it and to prey upon the car
cass. But this establishment must in a
great degree subside, when the dimensions
Of the bird are taken into consideration
and which, incredible as they may appear
now insert verbatim from a note taken
down with my own hand. When the
wings are spread, they measure sixteer
PAGES, forty feet in extent, from point tc
point. The feathers are eight PAGES
twenty feet in length, and the quill par
two palms, eight inches in circumference
1t is said to have strength enough to carr.
off live rhinoceros.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19
ROuND ROBIN.

One of the best legal stories we know of
is that of Round Robin, as it is Familiarity
called in the lower circuits of North Car
DINA, and owes its humors to the very fer
tile and cultivated mind ola lawyer, who
is still alive, but in distant Western State.
All the lawyers attending court about the
year 1910, boarded at the house of Mr..
s., who at the beginning of his life,
as publican, was assduous and provident,
but riches multiplied, and Boniface became
lazy, crusty and parsimonious. His ac-
commodations, as they are usually called,
from being the very best, had by degrees,
degenerated into the very worst in the
whole country. This was borne with NUT
terings from time to time until IN mt OF
desperation, the whole fraternity VI law
yers, after mature elaboration in Con-
gress assembled, Resolved to quit the
House and go TO another in the same vii
lage. The duty Of announcing the sepa-
ration was devoved upon the gentleman
above specified, who wrote the following,
and sent it to the landlord, signed with the
names of all the decedents in a round ring
below.
DECLARATION.
0When in the course Of human events,
it becomes necessary for half hungry,
half fed, imposed on set of men, to dis
solve the bands of landlord and boarder,
decent respect for the opinions of man
kind, requires that they should declare the
causes which have impelled them to the
separation. !.
We hold these truths to be self.evident
that men are created with mouths and bel
lies, and that they are endowed BY their
creator with certain inalienable rights,
among which, is that no man shall DC
compelled TO starve, out Of mere complai-
sance to landlord; and that every man
has right TO fill his belly and wet MS
whistle with the best that's going.
The history Of the present landlord OF
the White Lion, is history OF repeated
insults, exaclions and injuries, all having
in direct object the establishment Of abso,
Lutte tyranny over their stomachs and
throats. To prove this, let facts be SUD
mitted to a candid world.
He has refused to keep any thing 70
drink but ll-faced whiskey.
He has refused to set upon his table ioi
dinner, any thing but turniP soup with Q
little bull beef and sour crout, which are
not wholesome and necessary for the pub
icgood.
He has refused to let his only servant
blink eyed Joe, put more than six grains
Of coffee to one gallon Of water.
He has turned loose multitude Of fees
and swarms Of bed bugs, to assail US in th'
peaceful hours Of the night and eat ou
0 substance. az
0 He has kept up in our beds and bed
steads standing armies Of these merciles
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19
A SHORT CATECHIsM
FOR THOSE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND IT.

FOR THOSE WHO CAN UNDERSTAND 1T.
@. If large importations of specie are
made, how is it paid fort
A. In cotton.
@. What is the cotton used fort
A. The manufacture Of goods.
@. What use is made Of these goods2
A. They are sold to the cotton growers
@. 1.-THE cotton growers take specie in
payment for cotton instead Of goods, to
whom will the goods then be sold?
A. To nobody.
@. If nobody buys cotton goods, who
will buy cotton.
A. Nobody.
@. Ifnobody buys cotton, what will il
be worth?
A. Nothingl
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

Absence of Mind-A drunkard being
visited by temperance agent just as he
was about TO take down his mornings Bit
tiers, kicked the decanter out Of doors and
swallowed the agent.
Another.--A hen, instead of setting on
her eggs, got upon heap of pig iron, from
which she Matched out large number of
spies.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

A fashionable lady, being inquired of
how she liked the dinner given at adistin-
guished party, her reply was, "The din
ner was erplendid, but my seat was so pro-
mote from the nick-nacks, that could not
ratify my appetite, and the picked cher
ries had such defect on my head, that |
had motion to leave the table, but Mr.
gave me some hartshorn, resolved in
water, which bereaued me-"
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

French Blockade. The American Schrs.
Dolphin and Byron returned yesterday
from the coast Of Mexico. They we're
bound hence to Matamoras with valuable
cargoes Of provisions, &c! but we're not
permitted to enter that port, having been
boarded on their arrival BY the French
men Of war stationed of that place, their
papers endorsed, and ordered off. Tho
Two vessels were permitted to land their
passengers and letters, but no other com
munication with the shore was allowed
The respective commanders Of the above
vessels inform us that they were treated
with the utmost politeness by the officers
Of the squadron. 0. BII.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

Precocious DeprdUity. Two boys fought
out quarrel the other day, and the big.
ger proved the "best man." "Darn ye,"
said No. Q, when he found he was used up
''darn ye, il | can't lick ye, I'll make
mouths at your sister,"
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

Hazel Divining Rod.-The employ
ment of the divining rod when employed
to discover ore or metal, was associated
with many superstitious observances.-
The fact, however, oftho discovery Of wa
ter having been effected with it, when held
in the hands of certain persons, seems in
dubitable. The following narrative which
has been lately communicated to us by a
friend residing in Norfolk, puts the sub
ect in the clearest point of view. And we
shall simply state that the parties, whose
names are we'll known TO many of our
readers, are utterly incapable of either de-
ceiving others or being deceived them
Selves 81, 1918. 1t is just fifty
years since Lady Ms attention was first
called to this subject; she was then sixteen
years old; and was on visit with her
family at chateau in Providence, the
owner ofwhich wanted to find a spring, &c
supply his house, and for that purpose had
sent for peasant who could do SO with a
twig. The English party ridculed the
idea, but still agreed to accompany the
man, who, after walking some way, pro-
nounced that he had arrived at the object
of his search; and they accordingly dug.
and found him correct. He was quite an
uneducated man, and could give no ac-
count Of the faculty in him, or of the
means which he employed; but many 9TH
ers he said could do the same. The En-
glish party now tried for themselves, but
all in vain, till il came to the turn of Lady
N, when to her amazement and alarm,
she found the same faculty was in her as
in the peasant; and on her return TO Eng
land she often exercised it, though in stu
dious concealment. She was afraid lest
she should be ridiculed, or perhaps get the
name of witch, and in either case, she
thought she should never get husband.
OF late years, her scruples began to wear
away; and when DR.. Hutton, published
Ozanam's researches in 1908, where the
effect Of the divining rod is treated as abb
surd, (vol. iv. p. 260) she wrote a long let.
ter 10 him, signed X. w. stating the
facts which she knew. The Doctor an
swered it, begging further inlormotion.- -
Lazy Az, WCoto uShluS nhu w ~ " SSSOAN
letter, requested the name Of his cores
pondent; that LadyN. also gave. A few
years afterwards, she went, at DR.. Huts
toms particular request, TO see him at
Woolwich, and she then showed him the
experiment, and discovered . spring in Q
field which no had lately bought, near The
college, then building. The same field
he has since sold 10 the college, and for q
larger price in consequence Of the spring
Lady N. this morning showed the exPefi.
ment to Lord g., Mr.. S., and me, 10 me
park at w. She took thin forked hazel
twig, about sixteen inches long, and held
lii BY the end, the joint pointing down
wards. When she came to the place
where water was under ground, the twig
Immediately bent. ana the motion was
more or less rapid, as she approached Or
withdrew from the spring. When Just
over il, the twig turned SO quick as 70
snap, breaking near her fingers when BY
pressing they were indented and heated
and almost blistered. A degree ofaglia'
ton was also visible in her face. When
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

A prisoner at the bar Of the Mayors
Court, being called on to plead to an indict-
ment for larceny, was told by the clerk to
hold up his RICH, hand. The man imme.
dately held up his left hand. "Hold up
your right hand" said the clerk. "Please
your honor" said the cdlprit; still keeping
his left hand up, "please your honor, am
leit-handed"
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

There was to have been an affair Of
honor on "Bloody Island" opposite St.
Louis, on the Sd inst, between two steam
boat pilots. They we're to have fought
rifles at 80 PAGES. They chose other wea-
puns, however before they left the island,
and both returned to St. Louis "badly shot
in the neck, or in other words nearly dead
drunk.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

"T." said a traveller, "is one ofthe finest
follows know. He exhibits real hospi-
tally. He not only has plate ever rea-
dy for any of his friends, but he sends a
horse to your door whenever you wish to
ride."-"That indeed" replied another,
sis real horse-pitality."
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

"A servant once entering in fright the
study Of his master, who was in deep
thought and contemplation, and told him
that the house was on FIRE. swell" said
he, ''inform my wife, do not interfere in
the household affairs"
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

Nothing sets up woman's spunk like
calling her ugly--she gets her back right
up liEe cat when strange dog comes
near her; is all eyes, claws, and brlstles.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

An Editor III Vermont hus married
wife named Silver. He undoubtedly anti
ciuates some small change.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19

why is a lawyer like woman.--D'yo
give it up?
Because he's a tec-male.
Liberty advocate. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1835-1866, 1838-05-19
APPRoPos TO THE GOOSE

Irncle-accept our best thanks
your very nice Michaelmas treat;
beautiful bird ne'er saw
tender, so young, and so sweet!
wife and myself both declare,
hce we tied the hymeneal moose,
never before clapp'd our eyes
~ so fne--so delicious goose!
brats are all well. Little Sam
Solomon quite of his age;
SsGh a mimic! We've serious thoughts
d bringing him up to the stage.
already takes off you and aunt,
Ter way of exclaiming the "The doocei
M can initiate cocks, hens and ducks,
Apropos-many thanks for the goose.
tur eldest, we've christen'd, at last,
After you and my uncle at York
yehn James Paul Ralph George Job Giles Mark;
\, And ELIAS beginning to talk.
Little Arthur has lost front tooth,
And another is getting quite loose;
fhey both want to know when you'll come;
And thank you, dear sir, for the goose
Lille Halls as like you as two peas
81 lively, so smart, and SO Jaunty!
Nna dear little Emily Ann
II grown quite the moral OF aunty.
<sIpa's transating, in French,
The voyage of Mister Perouse;
4.a Amelia has knit you q purse,
And thank you dear sir, for the goose
Little Ellen's begun to sol J6'
And her Master, the Chivalier Baull,
Declares that he never yet heard
Child sing SO exceedingly small.
Isttle Toms quite sportsmanibecome'
He has caught young hare in noose'
Ana sends you the skin to be stutf'd;
And than you, dear sir, for the goose.
Your godson's beginning to draw
You remember the rogue-little MiAei
He has chalked you and aunt on the WALL
And really they're laughably like
such spirits never yet saw
He's Just like tiger let loose;
Ana Sue means to work you screeni
And thank you, dear sir, for the goose
Your museum, hope, goes on well;
But, uncle, take care your eyes,
And pray don't with microscopes look
So much at those very small HES
Tsend you the horn offs deer
j believe its species Of moose
Ma the quill of real black swan;
And thank you, dear sir for the goose.
none YOU ride out every day
BIS the first thing on earth for the heating
Without which, I've oft heard you say
What's honors, and station and Wealth.
Nht, dear uncle, pray never more mount
That wild thing.you bought of Lord hoos'
nht you are SO exceedingly bold!
Did thank you before for the goose7
s.-Can you lend me ten pounds
WA Till Christmas' My lease is just out
And I've no one to fly to but you,
Dear sir-by the bye, how'S your gout1
The interest, of course, shall pay,
Five per cent. Is your cough getting loose'
You can send it per post-and dear Nunks,
Many thanks for that duck Of a goose2