The Madisonian. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1845, 1838-08-29
EXTRACT FROM THE SECOND SERIES OF
n# SAM SLICK.

SAM SLICK.
Mcgnin' squire, said he suppose you didn't
hear the news, did you the British packets
in. Which packet said ! |; for there are two
due, and great apprehensions are entertained
that one Of them is lost. More promotion,
then, said he, for them nayals that's left it's
an i'll wind that blows nobody any good.
Good God said l, Mr.. Slick, how can you
talk SO unfeelingly Of such an awful cataslro-
phei Only think OF the misery ensailed by
such an event upon Falmouth, where most of
the officers and crew have left destitute and
distressed families. Poor creatures, what
dreadful tidings await them! Well, web. said
he, didn't gist altogether mean to make
joke ofit neither but your folks know what
they are about; them coffin ships amt sent
out for nothin'. Ten Of them gun briggs have
been lost already and depend on it, the Eng
lish have their reasons for it--there's no mis-
take about il considerable cute chaps them,
they can see as Ear into milestone as them
that picks hole in il; if they throw sprat
It's TO catch mackerel, or my name ID not
Sam Slick. Reason, replied-what reason
can there be for consigning SO many gallant
fellows to vioient death and watery grave!
What could Justify sucha -l I'll telly you,
said the Clockmaker; it keeps the natives TO
home by frighienin 'em out Of their sevensen-
SEES Now, II they had good set Of liners,
them blue-nose tories and radicals would be
for everlastingly abothetin' Of government
with their requests and complaints. Hungry
as hawks them feilers, they'd fairly eat the
minister up without salt, they would. II COM
pels 'em TO stay at home, il does Your folks
desarve credit for that trick, for it answers the
purpose rael complete. Yes, you English are
pretty considerable tarnation sharp. You
warn't born yesterday, | tell you. You are
always afndin' out some mares nest or ano-
Their. Didn't you send out water-casks and
fterin'-ston last war to the fresh-Udter
lakes to Canada! Didn't you send out fri
gate there ready built, in pieces ready nnm-
bered and marked, to put together, Cause
there's no timber in America nor carpenters
neither! Didn't you order the Yankee pris-
oners to be kept at the fortress at Louisburg,
which was SO levelled TO the ground fifty years
before that folks can hardly tell where it stood?
Han't you squandered more money to Ber-
muda than would make a military road from
Halifax to Quebec, make the Windsor rail
road, and complete the great canal! Han't
you built dockyard there that rots all the
out there and han't you to send these things
every year to sell 10 Halifax, cause there
amt folks enough to Bermuda to make an
auction! Don't you send out squadron
every year Of seventy-fours, frigates, and
sloops Of war, and most work 'em to death,
sendn' EN- to Bermuda to winter, cause it's
warm, and to Halifax to summer, cause it's
cool and to carry freights Of doublOons and
dollars from the West Indgies to England.
cause il pays well while the fisheries, coast
ing trade, and revenue are left to look out for
themselves? Oh, if you don't beat all, it's
pity!
Now, what in natur' is the use Of them are
great seventy-fours in peace time on that sta
ton! Half the sum Of money one Of them
are everlastin' almighty monsters cost would
equip dozen spankin' cutters, commandedby
leftenants in the navy, land this will say,
though they be Britishers, smarter set o.
men than they be never slept in shoe leatier,)
and they'd soon set these matters right intwo
twos. Them seventy-fours put me in mind
Of Black Hawk, the great Indian chief that
was to Washington lately he had an alligator
tattoed on the back part Of one thigh, and
racoon on tother, touched off to the very
mines, and as material as any thing you ever
seed in your life and well he knowd it too,
for he was as proud of it as any thing. Well,
the president, and whole raft of senators,
and considerable Of an assortment Of most
beautiful ladies', went all over the capital with
him, showing the great buildings, and public
halls, and curiosties, patents, presents, and
what not, but Black Hawk, he took no notice
Of no,hin' a. most sill he came 70 the pictur's
Of our great naval and military heroes, and
splendid national victories Of our free and en-
lightened citizens, and them he did stare at;
they posed him considerable--thats fact.
Well, warrior, said the president, arubbin'
Of his hands, and smilin', what do you think
Of thcml Broder, said Black Hawk, them
grand, them live, and breathe, and speak
them great pictures, | tell you, very great in
deed, but got better ones, said he, and he
turned round, and stopped down, and drew up
his mantle over his head. Look at that ALI
gator, broder, said he, and he struck it with
his hand till he made all ring again and that
racoon behind there, beant they splendid !
Oh Lord ! if there wan't shout, it's pity
The men haw hawed right out like thunder,
and the women ran off, and screamed like
mad. Did you ever said they. How onde-
cent amt it shocking? and then they
screamed out agin louder than afore. Oh
dear said they, If that nasty horrid thing Amt
in all the mirrors in the room and they put
their pretty hands up to their dear little eyes.
and raced right out into the street. The pre-
sident he stamped. and bit his lip, and looked
as mad as if he could have swallered wild
cat alive. Cuss him said he, I've half a
mind to kick him. into the Potomac, the sa-
yage brute shall never hear the last of this
joke. fairly thought ! should have split TO