Litchfield enquirer., 1838-07-26
PETTY LITIGATION.

less something can be done to cheek ii, PETTIFoCGING will become the only busi- ness which it will be worth while to em- bark in. and justice will be dispensed pre- csely like Brandreth's Pills, and such like quack restoraiivcs.
 The philanthropy which seeks to bring justice to every mans door" seldom con- templates the adjuncts attendant upon its near and familiar companionship; or the form and state in which the blind goddess chooses to 6 receive company" under the present five dollar system of cheap juris- prudence.
 The spirit of our republican insti,u- tions' very properly rejects the legal pa- raphernala of other tin,es, and leaves jus tIce in her lower tribunals to sit as she best may on a slat bottomed chair with Cow ems Treatise and the Clerks Manual for her guides. Thus accommodated, we see her in the person of some fifty dollar func- ti"nsry, taking up her abode in almost every tavern in the interior of the State in the cities the number of representatives, and djacent grog shops is generally trebled ready to serve suitors with summonses for ninepence, or whiskey cocktails for three cents a piece.-No. we mistakc.- There is a statute in this State which pre- scribes that no man who sells liquor shal: peddle law-this, however, does not n,ate- rially interfere with the above arrange ment of matters. The justice still goes to the tavern to hold court--while the tavern keeper merely receives the Squire" be- cause he has nice room adjoining his bar, to accommodate the jury and witnesses.
 Thus satisfactorily quartered, the "play opens and the plot ihickens." The par ties lhigant emerge from the crowd and al- coholic atmosphere which surrounds the bar, where they have been severally inspi- ring each others witnesses with the spirit of-Tru,h. Two constables take their stand at either side of the judgment seat, eager for the venirc which they have re- spectively advised each of inc aforesaid li- tigants to call for. The justice unfolds the minutes" of the court from a brown wrapper, consisting of half dozen strips of dirty paper, printed on one side, and scratched over crosswise with magisierial and ministerial chirography on the other. The cause is called in voice half lost in a huge quid of tobacco. Both parties an- swer-and demand a jury-ihe requisite process is sighed-the favorite constable selected and sent off to gather together "the Englishman's brthtight, jury of his Peers" and the court takes a recess for half an hour.
 Meanwhile the news has gone abroad that there is to be liiigated trial before Squire Dunderhead at the tayern--the blacksmith leaves his forge-tbe wheel right his shop-the merchant and the ner- chants clerk-the hostler, the loafer, and all the people roundabout, leave their re- spective avocations and repair to the intel- leciual arena with the same eagerness they would to a cock fight or town meeting.
 And now the jurors of the jury having been duly summoned, ,also come, who are to speak the truth of the matters given them in charge, being chosen from the inside of smashed hat, tried and sworn, they take their seats in the most imposing posi- tions on bench against wall.
 By this time the defendants counsel, MT. SplatterdasI,er, a regular bred attor- ney from the city, has arrived at the door, with carpet bag full of books-the host Ter takes his horse and the counsellor a glass of gin, and the trial is pronounced ready to commence. The plaintiffs coun- sel, an experienced pettifoggcr of country ) breeding, glanccs inquiringly at his formi- , dablc antagonist, and draws up to the pitch-pine council-tablc, turns down two or three pages of Cowen's Treatise and calls his witnesses. The witnesses all swear that they distinctly saw dog, which they believe 10 be the defendants dog, chasing hen on the premises of the plain ] tifT-being erosscxamined they are not sure that it was the defendants dsg-bul are sure that it was a red dog, and that defen- dant keeps a red dog. The court here announces that, certainty to common intent'' is sufficient. Defendants counsel bows learned assent. Another witness is then called to prove by way of aggrava- ton of damages that the hen thus chased and killed had ten young chickens. To this the defendants counsel absolutely Ob- jects--and now the pent up eloquence and law books open, Coke and Chiuy, Eden OH inunctions, and Angel on water courses are cited to show that the testimony is al- together improper, impertinent and impos- sible to be given in evidence.
 Two edifying hours are spent in the discussion, and the court decides that he will hear the testimony and note the ob- jpciion. The defence is opened pre- form0. Ten witnesses arc called, three of whom swear that the defendant keeps no dog five that he keeps no red dog, and two who testify positively that the defendants dog l is a black bitch. The testimony after ex- pert cross-examinltions, re-examinatiOns and counter calling of witnesses, is at length closed. The counsel sum up to the jury at length, ihe court sweRrs c"nsia- bie, and after mature deliberation being | LoI .Lo :.,.., aho,,s ,n;duioht rafurn infn