Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1838-02-17

came here to consult you professional
ly, and not TO be-. Don't understand |!
said The Doctor. why, it's plain English;
but here, read my book-and he showed
a book into his hands, and left him in an
instant, standing alone in the middle Of
the room.
IF the Hon. Alden Gobble had gone
right away and demanded his passport,
and returned home with uie Legation.
in one of our first class frigates, q guess
the British would as soon see pyson as
one of them are sarpents,) to Washing
ton, the President and the people would
have sustained him in it, II guess, until
an apology was offered for the insult to
the nation. Iguess if il had been me,
said Mr.. Slick, I'D headed him afore
he slipt out Of the door, and pinpeJ him.
up agin the wall, and made him bolt his
words agin as quick as he lhrdw'd them
up. for never seed an EngIishman that
cut his words as short as he does his
horses tail, close up to the stump.
The Clocktnaker was Gvidenlly excl
ted by his own story, and to indemnify
himself for these remarks on his coun
trymen, he INDUCED for sometime in rid
ic1ling the Nova Scoiians.
Do you see that are flock OF colts, said
lie, as we passed one of those beautiful
prairies that render the valley of Nova
Scotia SO vcrdant and SO fertile, well, |
guess they keep too much OF that are
stock. heerd On Indian once ak tav-
ern keeper for some rum why Jo Spa
dceck, said he, recon you have got too
much already. Too much of any thing.
said Jo, is not good, but too much rum
is jist enough. l guess these blue noses
think so bout their i:orses, they are fairly
eat up by them, out Of house and home,
and they are no good either. They beant
good saddle horses, and they bcant good
draft horses-they are neither one nor
toiher. They are like the drink of our
Connecticut folks. At moving time
they use moasses and water, nasty stuff,
only fit to catch fIes--it spiles good wa
ter and makes bad beer. No wonder
the folks are poor. Look at them are
great dykes; well, they all 60 to feed
horses; and look at their grain fields on
The upland; well, they are all sowed
with oats to feed horses, and they buy
their bread from US; so we feed The asses
and they feed the horses. Ii Ihad them
critters on that are marsh, on location
Of mine, I'd jist take my rifle and shoot
every one Of EN-; the nasty 60 neaked,
cat BANNED. heavy headed, fat cared,
crooked shanked, long legged. narrow
breasted, breasted 3oa ::3oi for nothing brute; they
aint worth their keeping one winter. !
vow, wish one Of these blue-noses. with
his go-to-meelin clothes on, coat tails pin
ned up behind, like the leather blind of a
shay. an old spur on ore heel, and pipe
stuck through his hat band, mounted on
one Of the Timber timbered critters, that
moves its hind legs like a hen scratch
ing gravel, was sot down in Broadway,
New York. for a sight. Lord Think
hear the West Point Cadets a lar6n at
him. Who brought that are scarecrow
out Of standing corn and stuck him up
here? guess that are citizen came
from away down east out of a notch ofI
the white mountains. Here comes the
cholera doctor, from Canada not from
| guess neither, for he don'r
look as though he had ever been among
the rapids. If they wouldn't poke fun
at him, it's pity.
If they'd keep less horses. and more
sheep, they'd have food and clothing too,
instead of buying both. VOW, l have
larfed afore now, till 1 have fairly wept
myself a crying, to see on, of'hese folks
catch horse may be he has to GO two
or three miles of an errand. Well, he
goes down on the dyke, with a bride in
one hand. and an old tin pan in the 9TH
or, full of oats, to catch his beast. First,
he goes to one flock of horses, and then
10 another, to see ifhe can find his own
,rilter. At last he gets sight on him,
md goes softly up TO him, sllakin of his
BATS, and coaxin him, and jst as he goes
% put his hand upon him, away he starts
Ill head aud tail, and the rest with him;
hat starts another flock, and they set a
bird of. and at last every troop on 'em
,oes, as il Old Nick was artor them, till
hey amount to two or three hundred
n drove. Well, he chases them clear
cross the Tant amer marsh, seven miles
,ood. over bitches, creeks, mole holes.
md flag ponds and then they turn and
AXE fair chase for it back again seven
niles more. By this time, 1 presume
hey are all pretty considerably well
ired. and Blue NnSe. he rnes and neis