Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1838-10-17
Absura,ties OF Human Life.

Ts take offence al the address or carriage of any
man, with whose mind and conduc; we unsc-
quaiated.
To expect punctuality from an idle man.
To laugh the appearance manners Of foreigners.
70 whom We msst appear equally ridiculous,
To suppose that man who lives with ministers and
courers in private, must be acquainted with secrets Of
When you travel. 70 insist English fare, aud not
make your stomach citizen Of the world
To think for yourself and declare your real opinions
in every society you frequent.
Not think the man impudent fellow who boasts
Of his humility.
To discontinue dealing with tradesman to whom
you owe a large sum Of money which you unable
To congratulate hypochondriac on hi, good looks
To tell a confirmed beauty that she look, much bet
ter than she did the last season.
To praise daughter just come out, in the presence
of her handsome mother OF FIVE aud thirty.
To give advice to- argse with, fool.
Tooesupy the attention large company by the re-
cita of occurrence interesting 10 yourself alone.
To ask advice of man who has always mismansged
his affairs.
To get up on a cold winter Morning to hunt tmid
nnis death and pronounce ourselves rational and
benevolent beings,
To call man hospitabe who INDUCES his vanity by
displaying his service of plate to his rich neghbors
frequently. but never known give dinner to any
really IN want Of IT,
To put out ones fire given day Of the year.
though cold eas,erly winds should blow.
That any should despair of success in any the
foolish Undertaking in aworld overlooked with
fools.
Such a man il indebted you in a large SUN Of
money. aud ha, means in possession prospect
of paying you-tatt may be utterly impossible for him
To earn by his industry. you immune hun in prison.
You make a very foolish match, and eravely ask q
udicous friend his ~pnion Of your choice
FopGEEY-In the latter part II August fellow
calling himself y. +. Phillips and represented his
Young wife. wis with him % be the daughter OF
the Hon. Mr.. vanderpool 81 New YORK, exhibited to
open letter &c credit pprporiing 70 be from M. M.
Noah &c the New York star and asked Us to cash his
check on Major Nosh. for so. We advanced the
money and In due ~ mail the check returned
nro,es,.d We wrole to the Major nquiring the cause
III his d.bo,orgg the draft and he replied hist the let.
Ter III ered forgery. anu, that Philips had OBJ.
,ai,eJ mosey ~ St. Louis, by the same fraud as
phii;, fraG Tor 500 dated ST. Louis had lust been
nra.aofed to him. Any who will give said Phillips
: sound cow hiding may charge all expenses 10 US
sstsrtiis tkyl JonrneL
DEATH or Mrs CHAKLEs kEMRLE.-We believe
the hst 10 announce the death Of Mrs Charles
KSmble formerly Miss de Camp, and wife Of the cec-
bra ed actor who licenses the performance of our
dramas. Mrs Kemble died calmly and peacefully at
ter lingering illness which had prepared her for her
END and We believe her last moments were consoed
BY the presence af her SON. Mr. J. Kemble the editor
cf the british aud Fovstgn Quarterly Rsvier Her hos-
band aud younger daughter Adelaide. however, were
absent abroad I'VE believe at Milaa the latter ntend.
ing as understand 10 make her DEBUT oantariee
in Italy Her daughter, Mrs Butler, V su In America
M~rssg Pssa