Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1838-06-09
HOW TO MAKE Al YOUNG WIFE AN
OLD MAID.

| OLD MAID. AZ
| The following true story might perhaps tuf'
nish matter for a little comedy, # comedies
were stih written in England.
! It is generally the case that the richer and
more beautiful young female is, the more diff
ficult are both her parents and herself in the
choice Of husband; and the more offers they
refuse. This one is too tall, the other too
short, this not wealthy, that not respectable
enough. Meanwhile, zone spring passes after
another, and year after year carries away leaf
after leaf Of tho bloom of her youth, and op.
portunity after opportunity. MissHarret Sell
wood was the richest heiress Of her native
town; but she had already completed hertwen-
ty seventh year, and beheld almost all hcr
young friends united to men whom she had at
one time or other Observation-Disclosures began to
be set down for an old maid. Her parents be-
came really uneasy, and she herself lamented
IN private position which is not natural one.
and to which those tn whom Nature and for
tune had been niggardly of their gifts, are O.
bliged to submit /. but Harriet as we have said
was both handsome and very rich.
Such was the state Of things when her un-
Gle, a: wealthy merchant IN the North Of Eng
land, came on visit to her parents. He was
a joval lively, straightforward man, accus-
toned to- attack all difficulties boldly and cool
ly. You see,' said her father to him one day,
Harriet is still single. The girl is handsome;
what she is to have for her fortune, you know:
even in this scandal-lovlng town. not q crea-
ture can breathe the slightest mputation a
gainet her, and yet sho is getting to be an old
maid > Y,r - u
sTrue,' replied the uncle, 'buti look you,
brother, the grand point in every affair in this
world, is to seize the right moment; this you
have not done, it is a misfortune, but let her
go along with me, and before the end Of three
months, will return her as the wife Of a man
as young and wealthy as himself
Away went the niece with the uncle. On
the way home, he thus addressed her: Mind
what am going to tell you. You are no long
er Miss Selwood, bat Msr. Lumley, my niece,
a young, wealthy, childess widow; you had
the misfortune 10 lose your husband, Col. Lum-
ley, after happy union of a quarter Of year,
by a fall from, his horse while hnnting."
"But, Uncle--"
"Let me manage, if you please, Mrs, Lum-
ley. Your father has invested me with full
powers, Here, look you, is the wedding ring
given ycu by your late husband. Jewels and
whatever else you, need, your aunt will supply
you with. and accustom yourself to cast down
your eyes.
The keen, witty uncle introduced his niece
every where and every where the young wild
ow excited great sensation. The gentlemen
thronged about her, and she soon had the choice
out of twenty suitors. Heruncle advised her
to accept the one that was deepest in love with
her, and a rare chance decreed that this should
be precisely the most amiable and opulent.-
The match was soon concluded, and one day
the uncle desired to say few words to his fu-
ture nephew in private. "a.
my dear sir, he began, I'VE have told you
an untrutb.'
'How so2 Are Mrs. Lumley's affections"
} " Nothing of the kind; my nieceis sincere
ly attached to you.''
, Then her fortune, suppose, 10 not equal
) to what you told me?'
'On the contrary it is larger
3 swell, what is the matter, thenp -.
"A joke, an innocent joke, which came into
t my head one day, when was in good humoi
3 we could not recall it afterwards. My nisee
5 is not WIDOW
| sWhat! isCol. Lumley hvingT
t No, no, she is spinster.'
, The lover protested that he was q happier
, fellow than he had ever considered himself -
and the old maid was forthwith metamorphosed
into young wife,.