The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1838-05-26

nun grlst oil ielorS there. lhey seemed
nifty quiet till l went in, then she got talkin
all manner of nonsense, sed nothin to me
and darnd little of that. tried to keep my
dander down, but it twarn't no use. kept
moovin about as if had pin in my trow-
sers. l sweat as had bin thrashin. My
collar hung down as if it had bin hung over
my stock to dry. couldn't stand it, so /
cleared out as quick as | could, for l seed
twas no use tryin to say nothing to her. /
went strait 10 bed and thot the matter over
a spell; thinks that gal is jest tryin of me,
taint no use Of her playin possum; I'll take
the kink of her; if don't fotch her out that
high grass use me for sassage meet. hearn
tell of boy once, that got to skewl late
one Sunday morning, master ses, you tar
mel ,slepin critter, what kept you so late?
Why, ses the boy, it's so everlasten slippy
out, l cood'nt git along no how; every step
| took forrad, | went tew steps backward,
and l cood'nt have got here atall, if l hadn't
turned back to go tother way. Now, that's
just my case; have been putin after that
gal considerable time. Now, thinks I, I'll
go luther way--she's been slitn Of me, now
I'll slight her-what's sass for the goose is
sass for the gander. Well, Iwent no more
TO Nance's. Next Sabbaday, sIicked my
self up, and dew say, when got my fix
ins on, took the shirt tall clean off of any
specimen Of human natur about our parts.
About meetn time off Iput to Ethan Dod-
ges-Patinece Dodge was as nice a gal as
you'd see twixt here and yonder, any more
than she was'ntjest like Nancy Cummins.
Ephraim Massey had used to go to see her,
he was clever feler, but he was dreadful
jelus. Well, went to meetin with Pa
tience, and sot right afore Nance: didn't
set my eyes on her till after meetin; she
had feler with her that had blazin red
he'd, and legs like pair of compasses; she
had a face as long as grace afore thanks
gvin dinner. knowd who she was thin
kin about, an 'twarnt the chap with the red
he'd nuther. Well, kept boein Patience
about spell. Kept my eye on Nance,
seed how the cat was jumpln, she didn't cut
about like she did, and looked rather SOL
emily, she'd gin her tew eyes to kiss and
make up. KEEP itup until like to have
got into mess about Patience. The critter
thot l was goin arter her for good, and got
as proud as lame turkey. One day Efy
cum down to our place lookin as rathy as a
melishy ossifer on trainin day; look here,
ses he, Seth Stokes, as loud as small
thunder clap, I'll be darnd-Hallo! ses |,
what broke? Why, ses he, | cum down
to have satisfaction about Patience Dodge,
here I've been cortein her since last grass
year, an she was jest as good as mine, till
you cum goin arter her, an now can't
tuch her with forty foot pole. She amt
like the same gal, an I'm damd if Pm goin
to stand it. Why, ses /, what on airth air
you talkin about, aint got nothin to do
with your gal, but spose had, there's no.
thin for you to get wolfey about. If the
gal has taken liking to ME taint my fault,
an if I've taken to her faint her fault, an if
we've taken liken to one another faint your
fault; but amt so almity taken with her,
an you may have her for me, so you hadn't
ought to get savage about nothin. Well,
ses he, (rather cooled DOWN am the un-
luckiest thing in creation. l went to a
place tother day where there was an old
woman died of the bots or sum sich dis
ease an they were sellin out her things.
Well ses he there was thunderin big chist
of drawer full of all sorts of truck so bot
it, thot made spec, but when l come to
look at 'em ther warnt nothin in it worth a
cent except an old silver thimble and that
was all busted up so l sold it for less than
| gin for it, we'll when the chap that bot il
tuck it hum he heerd sumthin rattle, broke
the old chest up and found lots of gold and
silver in it, in false bottom | hadn't seen.
~ 70 IA tuck the chest hum I'd never