The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1838-10-02
A GOOD ANECDOTE,

| gentleman was invited into one OF The towns
Of Massachusetts TO lecture on Temperance. Sew
era days previous to the time appointed, gener-
al information was given to all the inhabitants Of
the town and it created considerable excitement.
The friends OF temperance were glad of il, but
the rumseers and drinkers were exasperated.-
At length the Time for commencing the lecture
arrived and the house was well filed. Soon at
ter the services commenced, the door was open
ed, and in came one Of the principal tavern keep
ers in the town accompanied by miserable and
squalid looking individual, beasty intoxicated
They marched up the broad aisle, and took their
seat nenr the pulpit directly in front of the lectur-
err. The speaker proceeded with his discourse,
portrnying the awful consequences of intemper-
anre; enlarged upon the iniquity of the traffic
and appealed TO tine audience to make every ex-
ertion 10 rout out the monster from the land.-
He grew warm and animated, and pressed home
the truth to the hearts and consciences of his
hearers. During The time the tavern keeper sat
mute, but it could be seen by his countenance,
that he did not relish what was said. Not so his
companion, for when the speaker sai,l any thing
that was cutting or severe, he would mutter ont.
"That's lie"-"there was no truth in it'-"tis
filse"-and such Kindred expressions till he f.
nally tell asleep, and gave good evidence by his
snoring that he was lost 10 all that was passing
around Elm. Very soon the lecture was finish
ed, when the tavern keeper arose. and said, shat
he wished to say few words in reply to the
gentleman. He had been an inhabant of that
IOWIl ifliUy 10 get an
honest livelihood; had minded his own business;
had never wronged his neighbor that he knew of
and he could not set still and hear such vilo
and wicked ISLANDERS, without endeavoring to
counterfeit them. If such doctrines as had been
propogaed by the speaker should become uni
versal, there would be ali end to all society: he
hoped and trusted that the good sense of his
townsmen would NOT permit them to be led as-
tray by the deusions of temperance people.
The temperance reform was all humbug-it
priestrrnit and all signers to the pledge hyp-
ocrtes. After going on while in this'srain, he
said he would close what he had to say by ask
ing one question of the lecturer. Says, he, Mr..
-, if the tcetotal plan succeeds. what
we going to do with apples, our rye, our
oats and onr barley? Yes, say, what are we
going to do with our barley, oats, our rye
and our apples? Yes MIR. Speaker that's the
question to be settled, what are going to do
with Our oats, our barley, our apples and our rye?
He became highly excited, and after repeating
The question several times, with more earnestness
than before he, at the top of his voice land Civ
ing his hat which he held in his hand twirl
through the air, hit his sleeping companion across
the face, asked the important question, for the
twentieth time, What say are we going TO do
with our apples, our oats rye and our bur-
ley?' sat down. The old fellow who had been
asleep. awoke from the bow he received, and
heuring the question asked by his friend the tavl
en keeper, and thinking il came from the lee
urer, grpmbled out, "Why tat your hogs on them
,ou old fool 1ou!" The audience were convul-
;ed with laug hter and the tavern keeper rushed
ron, the house chagrned and mortified aio-
,tcket (R. ~ Ga-ctte