Piney Woods planter and Amite union literary reflector. [volume] (Liberty, Miss.) 1838-1838, 1838-07-21
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For the Piney Woods Planter.
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BYMIss MARYA. j. HAYNES
''Loye rules DER the earth and controls the
Heavens;
Kings are at his feet, and gods are his sub
jects. '--From the French Of CoBeille.
CHAPTER I.
Miss Tellall was fascinating girl, who
fortunately possessed the divine art Of
saying thousand good things without any
meaning. She was handsome to fault;
so said the admirers of the "black accom-
plshments"-1-or in other words, of the
ebon-faced images of God. Yet there
were others, who expressed far different
opinion in regard to the personal attrac-
tons of the much admired Miss Tellall--
Some made so bold as to say that she was
ugly while others maintained that she
was supremely beautiful. So much for the
report of "Miss Rumor," and the World,
(and the World you know is Big, Round
Authority.) Yet, reader, if thou wilt lis
ten, we will give thee most honest de
scripton of this much abused lady. Tall
and graceful in stature-she would have
risen to the majestic port of Ceres, or
Lady Jane Gray; but for one fault, which
made her look for all the world, like some
aged grandame, STOPPING meath the weight
of years. This fault was what is modern
ly termed, the "Grecian Bendn-alias,
Camel attitude. But which, by the bye,
is quite burlesque Upon the character Of
the Grecian ladies, as every reader Of
Grecian History knows.
~ Her hair was gol.
den--the color most dear to Lovers and
Poets. Her eyes were small, and situated
right and left of tremendous Proboss
Her mouth--not realizing our least dream
Of celestial characteristics, was
Heaven keep me from such MOUTH
Twas just such an one as Lavater would
have ascribed to the most penurious and
selfish of all Gods creatures. But then.
| suppose she meant no harm by not hav-
ing friendly mouth, since she never fail,
ed to laugh when anything pleased her
| And beside, twas once said, that she had a
heart, heart entire and complete, form
ed after the fashion of all other hearts
Shape conical, situated in the cavity Of
the pericardium, for the circulation of the
blood, possessing two auricles and two ven
tricles, the left ventricle giving off the
oarta; the right the pulmonary artery
and also the Venal Cava ascendens and
descendens, which bring back and eyacu
ate the purple current into the right auri
Gle. These vessels, together with the
muscular properties which belong to al
hearts, she once had--but, alas! the de-
noumem.
CHAPTER II.
a Now Miss Tellall was very pious. She
went to church every Sunday, and occu.
pied the front seat She also dressed in
the very gross extreme of fashion. Now
we believe that the curious are won't to sec
/! this goddess arrayed, sometimes, in such
:. attire as would not fail to call the vermil
lion to the cheek Of the gods, to say moth
| ing of retiring modesty. Indeed, "wise
ones" Of different gender have said
that her dress is not always the most be-
coming, and hence this line will apply
! that
; "Want of modesty is the want of sense"
Snow don't she cut figure of three!'
said Jonathan By-word, to Mr.. Fortune
Hunter, as Miss T. passed up the street
going to church.
ooh! my friend!n replied Mr.. Fortune
t Hunter, sstalk not thus! have you never
beheld hear sunny smile? / declare, she is
an angelw
"An angel! why Fortune Hunter, you
must be talin on"
/, 6Takin on! what do you meant"
/ HMean!~ replied By-word, snow won't
you wait, if you don't ask simple ques
ton. A high larned man as we are, ash
a poor hignoramus to teach him the mean
in O two common hinglish words! Mais,
hashtonishingl But as We walsh to be q
KNOWN, I'll be jist SO kind as to tell We, Q
man is said TO be 'takin on when he is In
Ilovew
"Pshaw, do you think I'm in loye7"
/ "To be sure does be thinkin you are
a 'takin on smairtly."
"There it is, stakin on again! please
be so kind as not to reiterate that vulgar
ism in my ears"
i "vulgarism! pray We, Mister, what's
i that?"
"Get about your business, shant tel
YOU"
n "Indeed! then We maist be 'takin onw
| "Repeat that word again to me if YOU
dare" said the irritated Fortune Hunter
turning Of hue, compatible only 70 the
todide Of dsotc.