Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1838-02-17
CHAPTER VIII.
THE PREACHER THAT WANDERED FROM HIS

lguess, said the C!ockmaker, we know
more of Nova Scotia than the blue no.
ses themselves do. The Yankees see
further ahead than most folks; they can
cen most see round t'other side of any
thing indeed. some of them have hurt
their. eyesiby it. and sometimes ! think
that's the reason such a sight Of them
wear spectacles. The first ever heerd
tell of Cumberland was from Mr.. Ever
ett, Of Congress he know'd as much
about it as if he had lived here all his
days, and may be little grain more
He is splendid man that class him
No. j, letter A. One night | chanced to
go into General Peeps tavern at Boston,
and who did see there but the greaIMr.
Everett, studying over the map Of the
Province Of Nova Scotia. Why,it aint
possible! said l,-if that ANT Professor
Everett, as I'm alive! why how do you
do, Professor? Pretty well, give you
thanks. how be you? but aint no long
er Professor; gin that up, and also the
trade of Preaching, and took to politics.
You don't say SO. said (; whaton aifth
is the cause O that? Why, says he,
look here Mr.. Slick. What is the use
Of reading the Proverbs of Solomon to
our free and enlightened citizens, that
are every mite and mortal as wise as he
was /? That are man undertook to say
there was nothing new nnder the sun. J
guess he'd think he spoke little too fast
If he was to see steamboats,, rail roads
and India rubber sh es-- three inventions
worth more than all he knew put in a
heap together. Well, | don't know, said
|, but some how or another, | guess you
would have found preaching the best
speculation in the long run; them are
Unitarians pay better than Unce Sam,
1--WE call, SAID the Clockmaker, the Ame-
rican public Uncle Sam, as you call the
British John Bully l.s7aaae,.4
That remark seemed to grig him lit
tie; he felt oneasy like, and walked twice
across the room, fifty falhoms deep in
thought; at las. he said, which hway are
you from this hitch2 Why, says !, I've
been away up south speculatin in nut
mcgs. l hope says the Professor, they
were good article, the real right down,
genuine thing. No mistake, says mo,
mistake, Professor they were all prime,
prime, first chop; but why did you ak
that are question Why, says he, that
eternal sconndrel, that Captain John AL
spice Of Nahant, he used to trade To
Charleston, and he carried a cargo once
there of fifty barrels Of nutmegs; well
he put half a bushel of good ones into
each eend of the barrel, and the rest he
filled up with wooden ones, so like the
real thing, no soul could tell the differ
ence until he bu one With his teeth, and
that he never thought of dong. until he
was first bit himself Well, it's been a
standin joke with them southerners agin
US ever since. @
1t was only tother day at Washington,
that everlastin Virginy duelst, General
Cuffy, afore number of Senators, at the
house, said to me, well Ever
cit. says he-you know was al ways way
dead agin your Tariff bill, but | have
my mind since your able speech
on it; ! shall vote for it now. Give me
your hand. says |, General Cuffy, the
Boston folks will be dreadful glad when
they hear your splendid talents are on
our side-l think il will go now ow-we'll
carry il. Yes, says he, your factories
down east beat all natur; they 60 ahead
on the English Il long chalk. You may
depend was glad to hear the NewEng.
anders spoken of in that way--I felt
proud, | tell you. And, says he, there's
,ne manufactory that might stump all
Europe to produce the like. WHAT'S
hiatt says |. looking as pleased all the
lime, as a gal that's tickled. Why, the
acture Of wooden nutmegs; that's a
zap sheet that bangs the bush--its real
Yankee patent invention. With that all
he gentleman set up a laugh you might
lave heerd away down 10 Sandy Hook
land the General gobbled like a great
urkeycock, the halfnigger, half alliga
or looking villain as be is. tell you
what. Mr.. Slick, said the Professor,
wish with all my heart them are damnd
lutmegs were in the bottom Of the sea.
rbis was the first oathsI ever heerd him ;
stslip; bu,he was deadful ryled. and
made me fee, ugly too, for its awfulto
car q minister swear; and the only |
lalch know for il is to hear regular |
neezer of a sinner quote scripture. Says i
Professor Everett. that'st the fruitstI,at i
oIitics bear I; for my part. never seed a s
God graft on il vet, that bore any Thing 9
ood 70 eat. or easy . digest. \, s,,li