The Charlotte journal. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1835-1851, 1838-06-22
POETRY.
ANSWER TO THE LINES WRITTEN on
A FASHIONABLE PRoTUBERANCE."


A FASHIONABLE PRoTUBERANCE."
Oh! We whose eyes srs black or blue,
Inspirs nv ssng With vlger uev,
ADs Iced me al ysur aid 10 thump
The issleless asthor Of the Hamp.'
la aneisnt tiraes ~e have IL wrote,
Jasi what she pleased vas vsrn by madam
Evs had her " sg leaf pstlisoai"
Wihost consulting M. AsSn;
In every age, fros slave 10 queen.
Standards Of taste the fair have been;
They mould the fashions 10 thsir oil
Asd polish Nature BY their Skill
Ard II they seek the aid Of art
T'sasuro the conquest Of the heart,
Maa should be fiatter'a that they taks
Sc ssueh Of trsusls fer his sake,
Nsr should they be admired the less
neosrse ii is for hin they dress.
Msn, in his turn. for ~enan toe.
Puts o. bis suit of London blue,
Or struts about in eostiy black.
With every hair brushed eff bis back
And ershs ia her presssee goes,
He, br his careful caution shows
By washing, shaving, brushing, rubbing,
By eomsing, .tarching, Stacking, sSrussing,
Uniii he looks prim and clean
As haAd.bsI dsmsel of fourteen
Hsw R.ush he feeis that silent sway,
IAE oAIN EVt sa&u VI at,obSls
II to cor dress as 10 thsir ewu,
The fair had Esi attention shown
What dirty, filthy Beasts would We,
la habit and appearance be
And tho per chance III. trus the fair
To eur dull minds strange Ihings may wear
Though we who are devoid OF taste,
NAV wonder Al a wasP-like ~aist
And Irocks that show enough of shoulder
To ma ks modest lover bolscF--
Yet bishop sleeves sad psntalsttss,
Viii live in spite OF the gszs,tes,
Aud II viii COS; yos many tussel
Before they vii! resign the bus,ls.
IT'S not mas business or his duty
To msddle ailh the dress Of beauty;
And uAsn he frets the mere should they
In stubborn stsrnness Gisobey.
Not all your poets with their ssnnets
Should change the fashion Of their bOnneis
Bat say ye crusiy sisgls men,
Whsvs lived your three score years and ten,
Or are IN feeling OF that age,
WAY NOT a. yoar own dresses rage
Reflect upon rufflo6 dickey.
Whca'er you say that Humps are triekey,
Or glance upon your plsaied shams
Which honest plainness rsdCiy dams
AND ere you write Hun9" episiles,
just feel year nseks sneAsed in hristles,
Which saes adorned some kindred srunieF,
Bot roo are worn by raie ri CunteT;
Look al Jour vide and rolling coslars,
Fer which the toilsr takes ysar dollars;
Your coats all made Of paste ana padding
And gisgerbread-someiimes DUBBED wsdsIng-
And surely OF all creatures, nan
Is least 10 think or speak sf brasi
Ye hinge Of bockrsm tell your poet
Fer TN resolved the seaWp shall ksnw Il,
To ihiuk. when as1l oil" Humps" he writes
a moment ovsr pair OF TIGHTS;
And II ;hey de aos make hump
Uglies by far about the ruRp,
Than bas,lss do--then In sgrse
That he deserves the vIGtoTy.
10 sreh ~ar. face ny foo,
Asa not, ss be has done, attack
The rival would overthrow
By rnfar ssset al the hack.
l take iae eaemy in front
And there sees The batils'. bfuBt.
And give phtenolosio bump,
That's larger than his fsscied Hump I"
The ladies wssr re y heat or b,ga,
To esish the willing creature. nIss;
Such thlsgs they sssd Boi-tis IGsl,
And II the peet Ga the Bible
Is duly sworn. III prove in law,
A HaRpn he RSver felt saw
Ny dtadsF's uP! What? say ihs fair,
Such things as wheat ard bran can wear,
And feathers sRd The Lord knows what,
Near ssy place ~ sEy spot
III not believe tits tbs tale
or Ous who has oeen kieSsd moes high
Who hates the ser and tsrss 10 rail
Because be knsws no brilliant sys,
That ever flashed from wsmsR's form,
To flush trsabling Lovers fscs,
Would dsign thai icy sou! to warm,
Who's siaues away his day Of grace.
No they need ne artificial 4" Humps"
To give sUch bachelors the tigumps