Iowa news. [volume] (Dubuque, Upper Mississippi Lead Mines, Wisconsin Territory) 1837-1841, 1838-03-10
BLuNpERs.

not; but it always, by its oddity, its
novelty and its humor. Ofthis order
was the exclamation Of the Irish gen.
tleman who, on getting a ten-pound
prize in the lottery, and finding that
the prize was less than the money which
he had paid for it, cried out, 'What
luck it was that did not get the co.
oooI: I must have been entirely ru-
ined1
Anorator in the Irish House of Com
mons was describing the inordinate
love Of praise which characterised an
opponent:-sThe honorable Member.
said he, SIS so fond of being praised:
that l really believe he would be con-
tent to give up the ghost, if it were but
to look up and read the stone-cutters
puff on his grave
Contempt of money! was the ex-
preston Of another sThe honorable
Member processes to play the philoso-
pher ] can assure you. Mr.. Speaker,
that if there is any one Office that gilt
tiers in the eyes Of the honorable Mem
Der, it is that of a pruse-bearer; pen
sion is a compendium Of all the cardi-
nal virtues. All his craftsmanship is
comprehended in the art Of taxing;
and for good, better and best in The
scale of human nature, he invariably
reads pence, shilIings, and pounds. !
verify believe exclaimed the orator
rising to the height Of his conception,
that The honorable gentleman were an
undertaken, it would be the height Of
his heart to see mankind seized with a
common mortality, that he might have
the benefit Of the general burial, and
provide scarfs and hatbands for-the
survivors
The answer Of a Major Of the Brit
ish brigade to the French King after
an action, was long source of amuse-
men: in France, and it is still on re-
cord as an instance of the pregnant
brusguerie of the sons Of St. Patrick.
The King in Forthcoming out his royal
praise, observed that one OF the regi-
msnts had behaved with great galIantry
saswas evident from the number Gifts
wounded 'Yes, your Majesty said
the impatient and gallant Major, jeal-
Gus for the honor Of his own battalion,
'they behaved well; they might have
had many wounded, and no blame to
them, but ne ,cere uki kilied"
This talent goes through all ranks
We remember TO have heard a woman:
who was scolding her bra,s for some
pranks, exclaim. We'll you little vii
Iains if can make nothing of you as
sure as l live l will tell both yOur
fathers!n
My Lord said fellow condemned
to be hanged for shcep-stcaling, 'all !
ask Of your Lordship is, that ! shall
not be hanged on Friday. 'Why'
asked the judge, in surprise. Because
was the answer, it is always counted a
mighty unluchy day.
Never be critical upon the ladies'
was the maxim OF an Irish peer, remark
able for his homage to the sex; 'the on
~ way in the world that true gentle
man ever will attempt to look at the
fault Of a pretty woman is to shut his
eyes,
On the late importation Of colored
and figured French nightcaps, an Irish
baronet, who made purchase Of half
a-dozen Of different patterns in Bond
street, was asked what he meant to do
with 50 many? why to be sure, wear
them all ill see which / like best,
what! in the dark?' -sNo; l sleep
with light in the ROOM But how
does that clear up the matter, if you
are once asleep?, ooh, the clearest
thing in the world; from the cradle !
had habit of sleeping with my eyes
OPEN
lis there any ford herco asked an
English tourist WHO came suddenly to
a foil stop before one Of the little
mountain. torrents Of the west Of Ire
land. sOh, to be sure your honor,
there was ford said peasant stand
ing at the brink and making hum
dred grimaces Of civili,y. when was
it?' said the tourist. Before The bridge
was built said the peasant; 'bnt when
man and horse went over the bridge,
the ford got out Of The habit. Well,
now that the bridge is broken down !
suppose the ford may have got into the
habit again. 1t is safe? 10 be sure
your honor, all but in the middle, but
that is nothing; ifyou can swim, there