Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1838-07-11
M I s G e L L A N Y.
THE ROAD TO A woMAN's HEAR

As we approached the Inn at AM
herst, the clockmaker grew uneasy.
lis pretty well on in the evening, |
guess, said he, and Marin Pugwash is
as onsartain in her temper as mornin
in April it's all sunshine or all clouds
with her tantrums, she'll stretch out
her neck and hiss like a goose with
flock of goslins. i wonder what ON
arth Pugwash was thinkin on, when
he signed articles of partnership with
that are woman; she's not bad look
100 piece of furniture either, and it's a
proper pity SIGH clever woman should
carry SIGH a stiff upper lip-she re-
minds me Of our old minister Joshua
Hopewell's apple trees.
The old minister had an orchard of
most particular good fruit, for he was
a great hand at buddin, and graftin,
and what not, and the orchard Git was
on the South side Of the house) stretch
ed right to the road. Well, there
we're some trees hung over the fence,
never seen such bearers, the apples
hung in ropes, for all the world like
strings of onions, and the fruit was
beautiful. Nobody touched the min
ister's apples; when. other folks lost
their'n from the boys, his'n always
hung there like bait to hook, but
there never was so much as a nibble
at 'em. So said to him one day,
Minister, said |, how on airth do you
manage to keep your fruit that's so
exposed, when no one else can't do it
no how. Why says he "they are
dreadful pretty fruit, amt they 7" /
guess, said |, here amt the like in all
Connecticut. Well, says he, Pll tell
YOU the secret, but you needn't let on
to no one about it. That are row next
the fence, grated it myself, | took
great pains to get the right kind. /
sen, clean up to Robbery and away
down to Squashneck creek, Il was
aleard he was going to give day and
date for every graft, being terrible
long winded man in his stories,) so
says |, know that minister. but how
DO you preserve them? Why was
agoin to tell you said he, when you
stopped me. That are outward row
grated myself with the choicest kind !
could find, and succeeded they are
beautiful, but so eternal sour, no hu-
man soul can eat them. Well, the
boys think the old minister's graltin
had all succeeded about as well as
that row, and they sarch no farther.
They smoker at my graftin, and |
laugh in my sleeve, guess, at their
penetration.
Now, Marin Pugwash is like the
Minister'S apples, very temptin fruit to
look at, but desperate sour. If Pug
wash had watery mouth when he
married, guess it's pretty puckery
by this time. However, if she goes to
act ugly, I'll give her dose of "soft
sawder," that will take the frown out
ofher frontispiece, and make her dial
plate as smooth as lick of copal var.
nlsh. It's pity she's such a kickin'
devil, too, she has good points-good
eye-good foot-neat pattern-fine
chest--a clean Sc. oflimbs, and carries
agood -. But here we are, now
you'll see what "soft sawder" will
do.
When we entered the house, the
travellers roum was all in darkness,
and on opening the opposite door into
the sitting room, we found the female
part of the family extinguishlng the
fire for the night. Mrs. Pugwash had
abroom in her hand, and was in the
act (the last act of female housewifery
ofsweeping the hearth. The strong
pickering light ofthe fire as it fell upor
her tall, fine figure, and beautiful face
revealed creature worthy of the
Clockmaker's comments.
Good evening marin, said Mr.. Slick
how do you do, and how's Mr.. Pug
"ash' He, said she, why he's beer