The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1838-06-30
Number 10.


supporters of life, avoiding the course of that
man who was well-wished TO be better,
took physic, and died.
At the hour of noon the guests of the wor-
thy doctor seated themselves at the dinner
table. Prithee reader, if thou AIT Yankee.
dld'st ever witness the good cheer Of our
country nabobs! the solid delicacies which
adorn the board of wealthy farmer. If
thou hast, description of the one in ques-
ton would be supererogatory, but verify my
stomach yearneth in contemplation of it
that huge surloin of beef-that spare-rib of
pork. The second course consisted of fpud-
dlngs and pies. One of peculiar formation,
called 'mince,' seemed to attract the peculiar
attention of the guests. There was rich
ness, singular mode of construction, which
rendered it exquisitely agreeable to the pal
ate, and as there was enough of it, each par
took freely. After dinner, the bevey were
provided with pipe, or HAVANA, as they
chose, and seated themselves under the ca.
pacious piazza which extended in front of
the house. a
"Doctor Physic,' said our old friend Slop,
'you are aware that the ostensible motive
for our visit here, is to enable you to fulfil
your promisein regsrI 10 that wonderful skill
of which you are possessed. l know of no
more convenient time than the present.
SAY, interrupted DIR. Physic,' 81 agreed
to distribute my powers equally among you,
and as in matters which concern COM
munity q single individual expressed, | have
concluded to admit the truth OF declaration
of one of your number, that all my virtue
was in my leather breeches"
1t may not be amiss to interrupt the doc
tor here, for the purpose of observing, that
instead of the leather garment which he had
worn for along series of years, he had now
another pair, and when he came to this point
in a, bis Is. remarks. EN- n the comnanv'l
"And, gentlemen" continued he, "though
extremely 10th to part with that which has
been of such signal benefit to those around
me, yet private considerations should always
succumb to the interest of the body polite.
In this view of the case, without single
regret, have, gentleman, divided my bree-
ches equally among you, with the hope that
they may be the means of healing dissen-
sions, extending our science, and conducting
to your individual prosperity" ,'a
Divided them among us?" exclaimed DIR.
Slop.
"Aye my worthy friends, divided them a.
mong you. Ihad themm into nine mince-
pies, and you have eaten them for your din
ner!''
''Eaten your leather breeches!" calculated
he, "then we are physic-ed with ven
geance?"
Never did our own nostrums operate
more vigorously than the docto S unique
prescription upon his medical friends, and he
was never afterwards troubled with impor-
tunities ofjokes Of hisempyrical neighbors.
E1EzslEEzzlslzzlaal
Steamboat Racing-ANEcDorE.-A la
dy took passage on board steamboat at
New Orleans to 60 to ST. Louis, but hear
ing that the Captain intended to run race,
declined going unless assurances were Civ
ell that should not be the case. The mas
ter pledged his honor to refrlin from the
contest, and the boat got under way; the
rival boat pursuing soon after neared him
fast and the passengers becoming excited
requested him to put on mote steam, which
was refused for the reason above given.
The lady was applied to but would not
yield She was then requested to come
on deck and view the other boat which
at the time was nearly alongside, and gain
ing. Her feelings were Immediately enlis-
ted, but not succeeding as well as his pas
sengers desired, they suggested he should
use bacon, to make the wood more innam-
mable. The answer was that having pledg-
ed his word not to race, he had not pro-
vided himself with the article. " Never
mind caDtain (sai1 tho IadV Won have