Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1837-05-12
GREATNESS.

GREATNESS.
DIALOGUE BETWEEN TWO ROMAN NATIONS.
Lucinia. am the happiest wife in Rome,
my Livial
Lipia. doubt it not;
But there is Flamnia's wife, the other day,
Scarce from the Forum to her house could pass,
For gratulations that her husband won
The Consulate.
Lucinia. That day my Caius sat
At home with me, and read to me, my Livia-
Little cared who won the Consulate!
Lipia. And there's Lectorius has obtained
government:
His wife will be Queen!
Lucinia. Well, let her be so!
NV uueendom is to be simple wife;
This my government, my husbands house,
Where, when he sits with me he is enthroned
Enough. You'll smile, but
I'd rather see him with his boy upon
His knee, than seated in a consus chair,
With all the senate round him.
Liuia. Yet his greatness
Must needs be thine.
L,,cinia. | do not care for greatness;
1t is thing lives too much out Of doors;
IT'S any where but home-you will not find it
Once week in its own house, at supper
With the family! Knock any hour you choose,
To the Senate, or the Forum, or to such
And such one in quest of it. IT'S month
Since Caius took a meal from home, and that
Was with my brother. IF he walks,
| walk along with him, if choose-or if stay
Behind, it is race 'twixt him and the time;
And when he's back, and the door shut on him,
Consummate happy is the world within
never think of any world without.
The BLACKSMITH REpREsENrATIvE.-Ic-
habod Emmons, blacksmith by trade, for
some years represented the town of Hinsdale in
the Legislature of Massachusetts. He was a
man ola good deal of wit and humor, land made
no little sport for the other members of the
house. The Pawtucket Chronicle relates the
following :-Emmons was at times slovenly in
his dress and personal appearance. On one of
these occasions, a spruce, well-dressed Boston
member rallied the old man upon his appear
ance, and asked him why he did not come to
the honorable house better dressed. 500 you
suppose" said the old man, with the utmost
gravity, "that am going to wear my best
clothes here in Boston?' The effect was IT.
resistbe.
News OF THE WEEK.-A splendid restora-
teur has just been opened in the upper part of
the city, where boiled watermelons, served up
with horse-radish and grated hasty-pudding,
from the most conspicuous item on the bill Of
fare.
barber, who has been much plagued with
interlopers who were in the habit Of coming in
to his shop to be shaved and telling him to
'charge IT. after the performance of the opera
ton, has nearly broken the custom by asking
his customers for their pay as soon as one side
of the face is shaved If they do not pony up,
he leaves the unshaven check IN statu quo, and
hastens the genteman's departure from his pre-
misses as fast as possible. But the barber had
one applicant who took the matter very easily.
AS he went into the street with one side of his
face in the predicament aforesaid he turned
back to the barber and exclaimed, 81 don't care,
for can get the other cheek shaved for half
price, so have made three cents out of you,
after al.''
We have lately seen knife of many blades,
which, in addition to a cork-screw, gmet and
bodkin, contains hairbrush, a bootjack, and
season ticket to a theatre.
parson in Deighboring village spins out
the last half of his sermon by singing Yankee
Doodle over and over until the time for dis
missing the congregation has arrived. He
gives as reason for this, that his hearers are
all asleep before his sermon is half finished, and
that 1t would be wasting of the good things
OF Providence to throw away pious exhortation
upon men and women who could not hear him.
ship from Liverpool sailed so fast as to run
out OF her copper, which last preserved its from
entire, and arrived at New York with the pass
engers, who deserted the ship, preferring to
trust to the great copper dish instead of ship
which, like snake, had so strangely shed its
skin. Among the passengers was the ceebra-
ted Flying Dutchman, who has come to see the
PRESIDENT. Boston Byzantine.
The editor of the Detroit Spectator, says
that he will match his nose for thousand
pounds, against the world, for height-depth
-length-or breadth.
ConnuJial Bliss. -''My dear, )" said he, "you
seem to wear the small clothes" "My dear, -
said she, somebody must wear them.o
jim whar you creep so cautiously after that
squlr'l lot, when your gun got no lock on'!'
datp ""o"
country schoolmaster thus describes
money lender: "Iie serves you in the present
tense-he lends you in the conditional mood
Keeps you on the su9junctiue- ruins YOU
in the future.
boy named Palmer, son of tailor al Taun-
ton, (England,) deliberately chopped off the
thumb Of his left hand with Ratchet. to save
himself from being made tailor.