Iowa news. [volume] (Dubuque, Upper Mississippi Lead Mines, Wisconsin Territory) 1837-1841, 1837-11-18

THE YOUNG FAMILY.

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THE YOUNG FAMILY.
ou must know. ,a,,;ss ;::sss 20! reader,
that am Bachelor: not an old one, Heaven
forbid! but one Of whom the ladies say, what
pity it is tina, Mr.. Virgins does not mafry!' The
fact is, am ,oe lord OF my hours, and of my limbs.
If stay out late, need neither lie, nor look sui
Ky when g, home, need not say, my dear
Peggy, ! really was the FIRST to come away nor
run the teariAi alternative OF either losing good
company, or enduring curtain lecture. Besides
all this, 1 amnot surrounded by a sweet young fa-
mly: but ofthal--sanon, anon, SIR
Having thas introduced myself to your notice,
allow me 10 perform the same kind Office for one of
nv friends. George Cheyoit and j were school,
fellows He was neither very wise nor very rich;
but he was merry, and good tempered qualities
which could then better appreciate than the oth-
ers, and which Lam still heretical enough to think
the most valuabls Of the quartette. He was, more
over, "a tall fellow Of his hands, and as brave as
4 lion; and /, dpn't blush to own it, was a weak,
puny chilling; ana as it is called in school pl,ra-
seology, wanted sSme body to take my part George
accordingly. fought my BATTLES, while wrote his
exercises; and thus we became sworn associates
We played, aiadromped, and rioted together; and
like the Vicar Of Wakefeld's parties, what we
wanted in wit we made up iii laughter; which,
after all, consider the better part of the two.
After leaving school, we both settled in the great
city, until George, who had a touch of the senti-
mental in his character, el in love with, and mar
ried journey-woman miliner; the consequence Of
which was that all his friends cut him, and none
of his family would 60 within mile Of his resi-
dence. For my own part, make il rule TO cut
all my friends as soon as they get married; do
not like the transformation OF merry, frank, socia
BILE companion, into All important family man.
Neither do like their invariable practice of lay
ing every fault upon the shoulders of their bachelor
acquaintances; for have known more than one
man, who, whom rated by his amable helpmate
for his late hours, has excused himself by saying
My dear, Mr.. Virgins would not let me come
away Notwithstanding the tenacity with which
/ adhere to this rule, determined 10 make an ex-
ception in favor Of poor George. His grandfather
had been butcher, and his father, master car
penter, and therefore it is not surprising that his
mother should be shocked at his denle aiming himself
SO vastly. !, however, who had always been of
opinion that, in free country like ours, a man
has right 10 make a fool OF himself ifhe chooses,
looked ut the affair with different eyes, and we
continued as warm and friendly as ever. Altho'
did not call al his house, we met at our usual
places of resort; and found less difference in
George than in most of my married acquaintances.
lie was, nevertheless, constantly expatating on the
joys OF married life, and especially of seeing
young family growing UP about you; Of teaching
the young idea how TO shoot;' and OF watching the
archness, the vivacily, and the simplicity Of the
pretty prattlers. One day when he was particular
ly eloquent on these topics, and Twas acquies-
cent AID insincere as man ought TO be OIL such
casions, he extorted from me q promise to dino
with him, that might have the satisfaction OF
ing him surrounded with his young family.
The appointed day arrived, and was ushered
into the presence OF my friend, and his lady She
dressed very finely, had a mincing air of gea-
tility, and should have thought her rather pretty,
If no one had said any thing about her. In one
corner OF the room stood cradle, and close by it
no matter what; socks, and caps, and ribands,
thrown about the room III tniost admired disorder'
the chimney smoked; several panes of the window
were broken; and three or four squalid; dirty-fa-
ced children were sprawling OH the ground, and
roaring very Justify. vhatis sweet little fellow,
Madam said Heaven forgive me for the lc!--
pointing 10 a blear-syed, ted-cheeked cupid in
her arms.
Its a girl, SIR said she, bursting into horsa
laugh; syes' she added, patting the bloated cheek
aforesaid, land it is a girl, though he thought it
was a boy, my pretty
This was the commencement of my bacalarean
blunders, and the lady for some time regarded me
with a contempt, which, had mistaken her own
sex, could hardly have been surpassed.
10 recover myself from my confusion took
pncl, of snuff; my friend and his wife be- eyed to
participate in the contents of my box, which they
had no sooner done than every obstreperous urchin
in the room roared out 10 DO allowed to do the
same. This petition was followed by half angry
alteration between husband and wife, tho former
saying, sOh, let them, pretty dearsp and the lat
ter, Indeed they shall not.' The cause of indul-
gence, however, triumphsd; and every dirty pug
nose in the room was speedily made dirter, al the
expense of my black rappee. The consequences
may easily be guessed; round Of sneezing, sniv-
cling, coughing, crying, and scolding, coinmen-
ced, until the adventure was closed By q general
wiping Of eyes, and blowing of noses, throughout
the aparment For myself did nothing but COM
nit blunders all the while was in the house Now
my foot was ON the nose of one, and now my ell
bow was in the eye of another; and i could not
stir m inch without being in dangerof dislocatng
q boys neck, or fracturing girls Uranium. am
affald that shall be thought sad barbarian, for
not being rapturously fond of children: but give
me a cat, say; can play with that as long as
please, and kick il out ofthe room when Pm tired
Of it.
The announcement that dinner was really 70.
lieved me, 1t least for q time, from my many mis-
cries. While descending the stairs, George whis-
pered in my ear, asking me if did not think him
the happiest fellow in the world; to which repli-
ed, my dear boy, l quite envy you.' We sat
down 70 table, and after many apologies from the
lady, who hoped that should find something 10
my liking, but who feared that hei fare would be
found but homely, as her time was 80 much occu-
pied by her young family, the dishes were uncov-
cred. WhssoSsr the dinner might be i. fact,
found that it was intended 70 be considered very
good, and even . handsome ono. The lady, who,
before her marriage, had lived at the west end Of
the town, whore she made shifts-in more senses
than ons-petticoan, and nantuas, in . garrett,
wished 70 pass for psson of some taste and FASH
ION. Accordingly, the table, instead ofthe ordi-
nary viands which the Esglishman delighteth TO
'nassieate, exhibited profsson Of woud-bs French