Western courier. [volume] (Ravenna, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1837-06-29

cottage" and yet how different are the
practical views Of these boasted Philoso-
piers when once they find themselves
constrained within the straight jacket
with which poverty invests them!
Plato is not with us, land the spirit 'ofDio-
genes no longer fingers about his favourite
tub, where then is your Philosopher to
be found? Your regular built Loafer is
the only person who enjoys life with any
thing like Philosopbic content. OF the
Loaterian sect, one rejoicing in the eu-
phoneous cognomen of Ephrlam Long, is
a devoted disciple. 1t is not yet to GER
tainty ascertained what place may claim
the honor of giving the Philosopher tothe
world, but true it is, that Epriam is des-
tined for Immortality, the strength and
cogency of his reasonlngs are being rap
idly admitted, and as rapidly gaining
ground and taking root in the world
Nothing Of his earliest life is yet record
ed. AT the age Of ten years he was seen
running from home and turning away
from the dear remembrance of the scenes
of his childhood with more than spartan
lirmness and stoacism. He had stolen
from his mother two shillings and as ma
ny coppers, with which she had entrusted
him for the purpose of buying Yeast for
the morning repast Of himself and the
half dozen white headed brats, known as
his brothers and sisters. What stern
philosophy was in this depicted! One
like him, thus flying from home with all
its charms and endearnents, nor casting
regret behind. Ephriam Long was
thus alone in the world, too lazy for ar
duous labor, and too poor to live without
an increase of funds. With conspicu-
GUS hole on either elbow and two black
patches on his posterior, Ephraim a RI
sing son fast emerging from his already
disappearing garments, like the great orb
Of day from morning mists, could be seen
at his daily avocation tending a guide,
board, on one of our western roads, where
time and the storm had dcfaced every
record of the once bright lettering that
pointed to the weary, doubling traveller
"which Of the two to choose" There
might our Philosopher be seen rolling on
his back and basking in the hot sun thr'o
the live long day. Sometimes sleeping
Or now and then turning over and lazily
depositing in his pocket the receipts Of
Office. Thus was Ephraim started "on
his own hook" In time however he
changed his occupation, and as the wealth
er grew colder and his clothes more scan
ty, took his stand in the shop Of a village
blacksmith, where his valuable services
were rendered ard received. Ephraim
spake not word but "kept up terrible
thinking" He held the tale of the oxen
and brushed the flies from their backs,
that the former need not brush the eyes
Of the smith or the latter cause too
great uneasines in the patient animal, as
the operator adjusted the iron shoes to his
cloven feet. From this, our Philosopher
in time embarked his fortunes with COM
pany of strolling actors, where he acted
to admiration, the part of " Sleeping Ga
guam" and the dead King, till finally
promoted, he performed the part of the
fore legs of stuffed Elephant, but unfor-
tunately for him, was too much of phi
losopherfor his companion who performed
the office of the hind legs, and who at an
unucky hour, when the Elephant was on
the stage, made light with his companion,
thus causing the overthrow of the noble
animal and gazing wonder of the hitherto
admiring auditory. Our Philosopher was
consequently discharged; his rival belied
him to the manager, and he was to lazy
to plead his case or refute the false
charge.
Ephraim truly was bird From this
we follow his steps no further till years
rolled by and change came over the face
of nature as well as the face of man. AZ
ter the first spring day that shone with
beauty in the great city of Gothamha sank
in the distant west, and the stars one by
one had litther lamps high in the heavens:'
when the noise and hustle of busi-
ness had subsidized, and the last lingering
flush of day which shone upon the lofty
towers of the great metropolis had at
length faded away; when no sound
broke the sweet Stiffness which reigned,
save the low converse of Lovers on
their evening strole, or the gentle mumur-
ing Of the /" sweet South'' as it dashed
with music the sparkling waves against
the rocky foundation of that beautiful
promenade known to all good Gothamites
as the battery, long gaunt attenuated,
figure in dress, one look at which told
many tale of better days! With coun-
tenance which if not "sicklied, oer with |
the pale cast of thought was because the +
long and stringy hair, which like sea weed
round clam, hung profusely about it and
forbade sufficient scrutiny to determine,