The herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1835-1837, 1837-01-04

Always exceptin' the Of wilder, of course,
said Sam. Wldders, Sammy replied Mr. Weller,
slightly changing COLOR widders are 'ceptions to
evry rule. have heerd how many ord nary women
one widders equal to, in pint O. comm over you.
think its fiveand-twenty but don't rightly know
said Sam. Besides continued Mr. Weller, not no
ticng the interruption, that's very different thing
You know what the counsel said, Sammy, as de-
Tended the gen lemn as beat his wife with the poker
venever he got jolly And a ter all, my Lord, says
he. it's a amiabe weakness So says respectn
wldders, Sammy, and you'll say, ven you gets as
old as am Il ought to ha know'd better, know
SAID Sam. Ought to ha' know'd better! repeated
ha know'd better why, know young un as
hasn't had half nor quarter your eddicaonas hasn't
slept about the markets. no, not six months-who'd
ha scorned to be let IN in such a way scorned II,
Sammy! In the excitement of feeling produced by
this agonising reflection, Mr. Weller rang the bell,
and ordered additional pint Of ale We'll, it's no
use talking about it now, said Sam it's over, and
can't be helped, and that's one consolation, as they
always says in Turkey ven they cuts the wrong
mans head Off It's my innings now, goy'rnor, and
as catches hold O this here Tretter I'll
have good 'un.' Il hope you will, Sammy-I hope
you will returned Mr.. Weller. Here's your health,
as you've inflicted on the family name In honor of
this toast, Mr.. Weller imbbed at draught at least
two thirds of the newly arrived pint and handed it
over to his son. TO dispose of the remainder which he
n.
Weller consulting the large double-cased silver watch
that hung at the end Of the copper CHAIN now it's
time was up at the office to get my vay-bi and see
the coach loaded; for coaches, Sammy, is like guns
they requires to be loaded with very great care
aforc they 60 off, At this parental and professional
joke, Mr. Weller, junior, smiled flal smile. His re-
vered parent continued, in solemn tone, I'm ago
in to leave you, Samivel, my boy and there no tell
ing ven shall see you again Your motheI-ln-law
may ha been too much for me, or thousand things
may have happened by the time you next hears
any news O the celebrated Mr.. Weller o the Bell
Savage. The family name depends very much
by it. Upon all little pints O. breedin, know may
trust you as veil as if 1t was my own self So I've
only this here one little bit of advice to give you If
ever you gets to ards O fifty and feels disposed to
60 a-manyin' any body-no matter who-jist you
shut yourself up in your own room, you've got one,
and pison yourself off hand. Hangin's vulgar, SO
don't you have nothin' TO say to that. Pison your
self Samive my boy, pison yourself and you'll be
glad on it afterwards. With these affecting words
Mr. Weller looked steadfastly his son, and turning
slowly upon his heel, disappeared from his sight"
"CouRrKsrEs or THE TApLE.-Ameng the many
Ayrshire about the close of the last century, no one
perhaps, was greater favourite than Mr.. H, of
s.. In person and manners he was quite the
beau. idsaI Of an accomplished tableman. Along
with fund of good humour he had superabund-
ance of pleasantly which rendered his company par
ticuary attractive; while his countenance bore am
pie testimony to his social propenstes, for, it
truly remarked, a wider mouth for laugh, or a red
der nose for bottle was not to be found among all
the votarss Of Bacchus.' Dining one day with the
Laird Of Logan Mr.. H happened TO help him
self to little brandy after his fsh-a custom which
is still kept up at some Of the hospltable boards in
glass between him and the light Laird, said he
addressing Logan, this is rather pale for mel
would prefer some Of your dark brandy assure
YOU, Mr.. H, what have sent you is the dark
l.rJ 1~,rI
house; but il looks pale to me- I'm no contradict
you, Mr.. H, out Of your ain house; but you
should consider, that yourred and muckle mouth
would gar ony mans brandy look pale Laird Of
Logan.
-"TuE HRlcHT OF IMpuDEScE.-Seme time ago,
fellow charged in the Glasgow police court, with
stealing herring barrel from person in Stockwell
street After the charge had been proved, the prnci
pal accuser thus addressed the magistrate 81 Deed,
Sir Balie the man at the bar Is a great rogue; the
stealing o. the barrel is naethng to some o. his tricks.
He stole my sign-brod last week, and what does
your hsnor think he did Wit Magistrate That
would be hard for me to say Witness Weel SIR,
I'll tell ye He brought II into my ain shop, WI my
ain ont and offered TO sell met, he said he
thought it would be o. mair use to me than onybody
else. Ibid.
"OBEDrENr WrvEs-The people Of Grecnock, and
other places along the coast fond Of telling stories
rejecting the inland ignorance Of the bodies Of
Paisley. One of these is TO the following effect =
Two corks, newly sprung into affiuence, were pre-
vailed upon by their wives, 10 allow them TO pay a
visit to Greeneck; but only on condition that they
were TO employ their time well, and take plenty of the
salt water. Having accompanied their spouses to
that village, and seen them properly accommodated,
the two gentlemen returned to business and did not
appear again for week, when observing surprising
apparent decrease in the volume of the ocean, lowing
To the recess of the tde) remarked TO the other
Gosh, Jeeme, the jauds haze dune weel! = Ibid.