Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1837-12-06

kiiieu by n stone; the skill of the
father was manifest to the public, while
his son became the envy of all his com.
panions.
Mr.. Gossamer was not unmindful of
the advantages of education, and was
determined to procure fer the hopeful
youth who was TO inherit his fortune,
all the learning that money could buy.
But that sprightly young gentleman
soon discovered tina. schools and col.
leges were no places for him. Among
modern innovations, that OF writing the
word +" usefulness" over all the doors
of science and literature, is one Of the
most conspicuous. Our hero soon dis
covered that learning was not consid.
cred as a polite accomplishment, but
an acquisition which was TO qualify a
man for the business of life. He was
continually reminded of the practical
value ofthe different branches ofknow-
ledge, and of their connection with the
occupations of men. The truth, of
course flashed upon his mind, with all
the force of syllogism-or, as his wor.
thy progenitor would have expressed
it, il was just as plain as a button on q
mans coat, that learning was not ne
cessary for a gentleman. The words,
''practical," " business" ''u~sefulness,"
and the like, were associated in his
mind, with yardsiicks, paper measures,
Jumps of wax, dirty fingers, and other
concomitanis Of the shop; and as he
wisely kept aloof from the latter, he
was not aware Of having any interest
in the former. 1t followed that useful
knowledge would be entirely superf1u-
Gus to HIM, who was not intended for a
useful man, but a gentleman. The
schools were abandoned, or only at
tended occasionally asa matter ofform;
his chief occupation was dressing, and
lounglng in Chestnut street, playing at
billiards and going to the theatre and
his studies were confined to newspapers
playbills, Byron's poems, and Fanny
Wright's philosophy. Thus he grew
in years andin gentility, and at the age
of twenty one, was thoroughly convin.
ced that the highest dignity of man
consisted in being fashionably clad,
aud the highest enjoyment of life in.
spending money. About this time the
elder Mr.. Gossamer, having snapped
the thread Of life, was gathered to his
fathers, leaving his remnant to our he.
70.
The propitious hour was now arri-
we'd, when our hero was to reap the
harvest he had so long anticipated, and
for which his father had toiled through
half a century. He was now lord Of
himself, and master ofan ample fortune
and he expected forthwith t. take his
station among the AS, and The BIS, and
the Cs, who were considered as tip.top
people. But the AS, anG the BIS, and
the C's, had eve heard of him, and
to Jemmy's perfect establishment, his
fathers death neither increased his Dig
nifty, nor enlarged the circle of his ac-
quaintance. He tried TO force his way
into that circle of society in which he
longed 10 move, but was repulsed with
the gentle hint that he was no cousid-
cred a gentleman! Highly indignant
at what he considered an unmerlted as
persion upon his birth and breeding, he
resolved upon the usual expedient in
such cases-that of purchasing by dint
of wealth, admissions into those circles
from which he was excluded by man.
ners and education. He determined TO
marry ard set up a fine establishment.
But, alas! what varied disappointments
lie IN wait for the aspirants after world
~ honors ! One lady refused him be-
cause he was a fop another because
he was illlterate and vulgar; a third
sneeungly offered him the ninth part
of her heart, and all agreed that he was
not a gentleman, rot a gentleman /"
exclaimed he, "that's a good one Pm
not a practical man, nor a mechanic,
nor an operative, nor n OF those USE
full men they make so much fuss about.
| am no Philosopher, nor a scholar /; nc
nor a doctor, n a lawyer--of course
| must be a gentleman (; | have plenty
of money, and nothing to do and !
talk and dress as well as any. | must
be something, and | don't know what |
can be unless | am a gentleman He
applied to a friend for advice as to the
best method of asserting his gentility.
"Write a book" saidhis friend, 'au-
thorsbIp has got to be a very genteel
calling"
81 can't go that-my talent don't
lie hat way"
"My dear fellow, that is a mistake;
it requires no genius to make a book,
as books are now made. 1t only re-
quires Industry, a steady hand, and "a
sharp pair of SCISSORS"
"That may be very true" replied
our hero, " but industry is not a gem
tleman /; and as tor a pair Of scissors,