Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1837-08-15

Sing nv the Recorder IN the morning.
Tady O,Flannagan NJ. ID. p. ". H. to Mister
Bennett am sure.
WASHINGTON, August 18th, 1897
MISTER BENNETT.-Pm beginning to think yese
wizard or something worse else how could yese have
known that his exceency, my master, had wrote
letter and made PROPOSALS for the hand O. the young
Queen Miss Victoria, of oud England. When the
death OF his Majesty King William the 4th, rachel
this city there terrible hubbub in the paaucc.
My master, his excellcncy the President, looked as
smiln as if he had jist set down to mess OF the
finest praties in the hou landstrulted about the ase
room as fhe had found MARIE nesw with hshands in
his breeches' pockets, and althegather changed
man, Mister Bennett. Och it would have done yere
heart good to have sane how he struttcd, smiled and
looked as he trampoosed Their BY my veracity,
though him little crazed, so did, and detarmind,
as in duty bound TO watch him closely. BY the
powers says l to myself, Mister Van Buren, must be
aithe demented or in love- and I'll lay wager he's
goin to propose to some lady. Pen my conscience,
would be happy if he would take rib unto himself
for then we Should O. the swae faces of the
ladies' which would be great rela after bein obleeged
TO look at the ugly phiz o that spapeen of editor
that comes daily nay may say hourly to the palace,
like buzzard in sarch o carron. But they say his
hour come and another editor will take his place of
more responsibility and daeency. But be that it
may, Mister Bennett, l must procadc to tell ye all
about the letter. The Cabinet was called together,
and il was surprisin dale of consultation they had.
Mister Amos snaked about like cat afther mouse,
and was as lively as a bolin pratee in the pot
Mister Forsyth, och, the devils mother he's an ILL.
CANT man. is that same-looked the Taste bit in the
world out O sorts, though he smiled as swately as
ever, so he did, and Mister Dckcrssn drew up the
legs o his breeches at Taste inch, till yese could
almost see the calves O his legs, which look upon
as excading indecent and ungentae. Obsarvn all
this guessed that they afther some CRATE pro-
ject, and so kept my eyes them; and as it hap
pened, afther the thing had been brought to head
found one day the letter that now send you with my
compliments. Its a nate speciment of style Mister
Bennett and will show you what my master is up to.
II was to be sure 80 badly writ that could make
nather head nor tail of it for long time. His honor
Master Van Buren,, the private secretary of his excel
lcncy, copied it in n fair round hand on the most
beautiful hot press gilt edge paper he could get per-
fumed with the ottar roses tell il smelt like Judys
swate breath, and SEM, it of by Commodore Rodgers
who las TO call hin self the Admiral of the American
Navy. Och, its just jewel of thing Mister Ben
nett
Army Palace Washington, July Isl, 1897
To her Majesty Victoria,
Queen of England:
The reputation OF your Majcstys great beauty and
the fame of your other surprising merits and accom-
plishments have reached my ears, and inspired me
with love and respect for your Majesty that never
felt before. Irejoce that you have succeeded TO the
throne Of your ancestors and that you are now Queen
Of Great Britain, you are Queen Of oil hearts. I
had the high honor TO be introduced TO you when
was last in England, and was then charmed with
your beauty. Since then have been elected Pres-
dent of the United States and ruler of of the great
est and most enlightened nations in the world. i
have succeeded your Majesty is apprised one of
"the greatest and best men" the sun ever shone upon
by whose mantle have been enabled to rise TO my pre-
rank and whose footsteps, though have pledged
myself to follow them, shall be obliged to dsviae
from for the good Of my party. am, II is true the
leader Of the great democratic party OF this cnghten
ed country; but your Majesty must not understand
that democracy is any thing more here than cant
| term, which we use for certain purposes and that
most of US real and genuine aristocras. OF this
your Majesty may Judge by the conduct and deport.
ment ofmy Minister Plenipotentary at your higness'
court, My family Of very ancient and noble
blood being connected with your first Dutch ances-
tor and the van or head Of all the Burens since the
food My prlncpali,y, as they would call II IN
q most beautiful garden, and because ! amused my
| selfin cultivatng cabbages, and rolling them about
| in wheelbarow, my enemies have said that run-
died them to market No. your Majesty, this base
caumny. never would stoop 10 disgrace my noble
blood 50 far 10 do act which is only fiji for scrfs
and kinds. My notions have always been highly
and purely arsiocratic and hence my carriage and
horses are English, my servants all whe-my furni-
nre Of the costly and splendid kind, and on the
| days when my predecessors used 10 have levees
now close my doors on the people, and will not allow
the dirty cdnaiue TO soil my fine carpets enter my
palace. mention this TO show your Majesty that
am genuine aristocrai, and not unworthy Of your
high consideration account Of any vile democratic
propensitics which your Majesty might suppose me
| TO be tainted with. My War Admiral, who s the
bearer of this, will give your Majesty an idea Of my
intellectual powers which are calculated, humbly
think, 10 assist you in the government of such peo
pie as those you have been born to rule over John
Bull, like brother Jonathan, be easily duped and
humbuggcd, and up TO all the trickcry necessary
10 do both My present elevation is an evidence Of
my talents in this line. never have made il prac
tice 10 commit myself amy occasion but once and
that was when was silly enough to write letter
to one Shesrod Williams, which has haunted me ever
since and which contains opinions have been obliged
10 abandon ne foolish and weak. There 10 but one
occas,sn In which would be willing openly to CON-
nit myself and that is the present to lay my heart
and hand Of your mscstys feet and TO beg your ma
jes,y TO bcstow upon me favorable consideration
am not old nor ugly, though have raised fine
family Of strapping lads some Of whom are upwards
Of six feet high ] send your majesty my miniature
which will give you some notion Of my personal
beauty, and satisfy you that am not like the vile
animal, the wicked caricaturists have attempted to