Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1837-11-16
DOWnilrgiaDa.
MAJOR DOWNING-FOCRTH LET
TER.
Near The Wreck Of ihe Tco Poilies
RocKAwAY, Sept | r. 1881,
To Uncle Sam.

II NoCka"Af, CrPt' lir ioofjt
| To Uncle Sam.
4 My OLD FRiEND Il have been iea-
/ din the Message over from top 10 bottorn
/ and from bottom TO top and from iho
middle on't both ways-and | rolPd it
/ over Jest as carpenter does Il log, and
draw'd chalk lines to get the square ont,
and sharvcn'd nv nx, and began To chip
off. 1t is more than n days job, and
don'l know that can promise, in this
letter, to do more than git The bark of.
1t is plagy long Message, seein that 10
speaks Of ony one maltrr-but this
comes ircn. our great folks in office usin
sich long words, and siringin on 'em to-
gcther hike Ingions, when n few shors
ones would tell the story.
/ | remember. ono day when I was to
hum Uncle Joshua got n letter from
Washington, from friend Of h'sm whv
had gone there to ak The GineroI tu
make Uncle Joshua Post Muster. He
told n Iong story about the delhy-aud
that the Ginrral was sic and that the
doctors said that he was now "con mc!-
iescei" econ what g. asked Aunt
Nabby. "Why conwallescnt, said
Uncle Joshua, rubbn his spectacles,-
"Whai in nature is that complaint now"
-ask'd Aunt Nabby asin :" don't
know, " says Uncle Joshua, "but all |
hope is it ain't the name oi n new pa,iy ;
it is one or toihcr am afraid and il il
is the latter, we must all brush round and
turn " Conwailcsrn, " as soon as po. si-
bic, or shan't git my oilice, ihat's sar-
ting - and Jest then ] came in, and it
was well did, or Uncle Joshua would
had all Downin2,ile call'd to public
meetin, and the hull Jackson patty would
have gone right over to the - COnTaL-
lesent party" IN no time. Bu. as soon
as iell'd Uncla Joshua what the rale
meanin Of the word was-and that il
was only the Doctors 'coy Of sayin the
Gineral was " getiin better "" WelI,"
says he, "Hm glad it's no worse for
it's a hard matter, Major, to change the
name of a party but why in nainr diJn't
the man say So" gcthn better ;" is plain
English, but ConmaUesem is Jest mo-
word at all. 4 was afraid, said Aunt
Nabby, it was hidrafoby. , Hidra-
y
know'd it warn't that-for a dog woulf
jest IA soon dare bite hot ruddin as to-
bite the Gincral. And so we all con-
cludcd the best way was to use plain
language-a and it has been lesson 10
me ever since.
| Now as to this message, every body
thinks he knows what it means, and alb
Al thoth hoe U.,tf f1,a nj
lesent natur about it is so sugnr'd over,
prity much every body swallows it rigbt
down. But that amt my way /; knows
there is always two sides to n pewter
platter. III have time, mean to rub
of all the sugar and gliding, and sec
what is left ont !; aud then if find it the
rale grit, III go Il, and advise every
body to go 1t but on the contrary, il /
find it won't hold water and amt SOUND
doctrine, | won't 20 II, and no man in alb
Downingville will go IL. Every body
says, that have hearn speak ont (and
every body is talkin n"thn else jist now,)
that there is no mistake in that mes
sage. Now think see a good many
mistakes about it. The first mistake is,
it is too long at both ends, aud not short
cnutf in the middle-seein now that the
Globe folks have lost the prin,in ont sD~
you wont see so long one agin in long
spell, so long as them Conservatives folks
keeps the printing. 4Gs The next mis-
take is, il says a leetle too much about
seperaiin The Government from the
general consarps Of he people, aud as
sass for the goose ought to be sass for
the gander,' Congress began right oft"
try Me Experiment, first on the prntin
line and see how Tint will work, and the
first thing we see is the Globe folks, that
hain't been separated now for goin on ~
yer8 years from II good 500, 200 Tit II
year of The Government, rouiid right
of;, aud another pig has got holt ] done
like to see a man or pig lose his III, un-
less he desarves il, and If can find out
that The Globe folks don't desarvc to lose
theirs, they shall have the printin OF all
my Letters for noihin.
The next mistake is in talkin too Sc
vorcly agin the Banks, and separaftn oh
consarns of the Government from them
should like to- know nvw, who first ask
'J 10 be connecied-was it Me Gorern-
ncnf.' or the Banks = Mr.. kindh.
perhaps, can answer this, and tell Va who
Sc nj him round among the banks somc
four years ago. The banks, TO be sure,
have got prity bad name iisr now jiss
so the old quaker's dog 60, bad char
acter, aud come near the loss of his liie
by il his master said he would not kill
him, but III give thee a bad name. -