Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1837-08-04

The fare placed before him. although cold bite as he
had ordered in the strctest Of the term was YET mea
boiled pork and potatoes, and glass of water, were
all that had been appropriated to his use. ,
Swallowing few hasty mersels, he again present
ed himself at the bar and demanded ms pil.
Half dollar for your dinner, SAID bohiuce
Half a dollar! | seldom dispute a tavern OH, 81
hut for such one as have had the charge is amin
POSITION ~ ,.od,o,d Sand
A meal is meal answered tue ia"u'o''' anu
ST is small sum 10 quarrel about, observed the
traveller. but prefer TO be plfered IN manly man
ner.' .a ~ IL
| lad m q sur,y manner; we always charge that,
whether man more or less, good or bad
Perceivng alteration 10 be useless, the stranger
mid bis hill called for his horse and rode away, with
the muttered exclamation that he would some time
have an adequate revenge.
His destination was about fifteen miles Distant
After nansacng his business, he was obou starting
the following day, upon his return He had men,
toned to friend the circumstance we have recorded,
and that person answered that the tavern was noto-
rous for its extravagant charges but that he could
find him who would put the landlords maxim, "A
meal is a meal TO thorough test Accordingly be-
fore setting out, our traveller was introduced to his
companion, who had abstaned in orderto do justice
to the entertainment ofhis employer. He was to be
paid the expenses Of his dinner and journey The new
adven,urer was a burly, good humored fellow,
something of wag and extremely sbrewd. lie
whal a most incorrgible glutton Eating and
telling large stories his chief enJoymenls-
He fortunately an entire stranger TO the mn
keeper.
Landlord, said the traveller, i owe this man,
Mr. Jones' dinner which lost by very foolish
bet. Furnish him one, and will pay for IT,
'What'lI you haveP asked the landlord OF Jones.
"A roast turkey, sir.
The landlord stared, but issued his orders to the
occupants Of the kitchen. They required so.le 1t
tie llme 10 comply with the orders. The landlord
and Jones soon made themselves old acqualnt-
ances.'
Rather red face that Of yours, landlord said
Jones. Il haven't seen any thing that looked like
spring before; fine blossoms SIR
you are rather crooked character Mr.. Jones'
Rather, sir; but not quite SO crooked as tree
once knew. 1t was the tallest butternu ever saw.
Standing close TO il one day in thunder storm, |
saw a squirrel on one of the topmost branches. The
lightning struck the same branch about three feet
above hun, the squirrel started. The lightning had
straight down. So confounded crooked was that
tree sir, that the squirrel, by my watch got to the
bottom precisely three minutes before the lightning
That's lie! exclaimed the landlord.
A lie! True sir, true ever any story was. al
forwards saw that down and made into rails
for hog pasture The hogs would crawl through
twenty times in day. and 50 thunderin crooked
were them rails that every time the hogs got out
they found themselves back IN the pasture again!
Before Jones had time TO relate another story the
bell rang for dinner. The turkey there fankeS
one side by huge dish of potatoes, and on the 9TH
or by condiments of various kinds.
Il will thank you, Miss, said Jones 10 the damsel
in waiting, to cook me few slices of beet am
afraid shall not make out dinner on this
The girl Withdrew in amazement, while Jones made
a vigorous assault upon the fowl, which rapidly
disappeared before his advances. Wings, legs, and
body soon transformed into skeleton,and heap
ed into large pile beside his plate The vegetables,
100, had sensby diminished, and he had Just laid his
\ hands upon ne apple pie OF uncommon dimensions,
when the girl made her appearance with the beef.
Thank ye,' SAID Jones, have tie goodness
TO cook some pork steaks, rather rare and bring me
| plate of pickles. have strong appetite
The girl disappeared, and Jones fell TO again, but
with less alacrity than ht fore He managed, how
ever, to devour the beef just the girl came in with
the pork, the pickles having, in the meantime, been
eaten.
Now, Miss III trouble you for some fresh fish.
Have you got anyf
While the girl had gone to inquire for this, the land
lord, who had been apprZed Of the sad havoc which
had been made among his viands, entered The ROOM
Al the juncture of AFFAIRS the girl carae back with the
intelligence that they had nothing but picked sal
mon
Give me half a dozen pounds of that them
Jones had already stuffed himself rereiion, and
to have saved his life, could scarcely have swallowed
another morsel. The landlord having heard the last
order thought best TO fill up as cheap as possible
Won't you have some cider, Mr.. Jones?
No, sir, no, thank you. | always make il a rule
in eating never TO drink any thing ill &c, just about
half through!
home. Quit now, and you are welcome to what you
| have eaten
We'll, meal is meal! But presume We can
obtain more al the next tavern. Tell EN- they need
not cook the salmon. I'll take you at your offer"
IL is almost needless to add that the landlord soon
came to a knowledge Of all the circumstances con-
neccd with the case, aud That ever afterwards he was
particularly careful in selecting objects upon whom
to exercise his shaving propenstes.
IMPORTANT CoURT MAnTIAL.-W. learn from
gentleman who arrived here yesterday morning from
Pensacola that Of the interesting trials ever
known in the L. s. Navy, was in PROCESS when he
left The subject, novel to be sure, and for which
perhaps, it would be difficult TO find any special law
in the Statute Books for the Court of Adlniay-s
of no less consequence than to determine the Ell
qleie hetcafter TO be preserved among chickens'
Great Gods and little fishes! there's tender point
for you! as tender rs . chicken
The question, as stated 10 US if brought 10 suit at
common law, would involve case of rrespass by
the chicken Of neighbor the yard OF another,
tina, is to say, the chicken Of A did at the time and
in the manner aforesaid, wantonly, deliberately and
wilfuy, without the knowledge consent, or permis-
sion of the proprietor Of the premises clandesiney
enter and take forcble possession of certain lands
tenements, and heredtaments belonging to the chick
Of B. But in the courts Of Admiralty, this posi-.
ton is materially transplaced Instead of the cold
formaes of civic laws the terrific penalties Of mar.
tial laws are brought TO bear on the subject and
Chandelier Is arraigned for 'unofcer like conduct r.
Such is case now pending before the naval Court
on board the fngaie Cancellation at Pensacola.