Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1837-12-09
MISCELLANEOUS 4 iaa.a
OF KITES. AND OTHER COMMODITIES
by JOHN lNMAN.

+ Dean Swift wrote homily on a
Ebroomstick, the biogrphers say-and the
morahties Of a kite might be worked
up into highly respectable dissertation.
never see one soaring aloft on the up
bearing waves OF a summer breeze,
without meditalinga host Of solemn re-
fections, and marveling that they have
not been put to use professional dealers
in wise saws and apt illustrations. Asa
Ipolitician,f ,forinstance, one might liken the
silly kite, in its efforts to break away from
the string,to your agrarians and your lev
elers-your believersin universal equali-
ty and other distractions of democracy
run mad whose endeavour is 10 inn
prove the condition of mankind, not up
ward to the state Of the skilful and pros
porous, but downard to that of the mis-
Judging, The indolent and unlucky. The
foolish creature of cross sticks and paper
is always tugging and lidgeting about,
as if in huge discomfort with the restrain
ing twine that limits its flight, never re-
flecting and probably not Knowing, that
but for the restraint it would soon come
topping disgracefulIy down from its
place, butfetted by the winds, and finally
tramplcd under the heels of mischievous
boys, or gibbeted like murderer in the
branches of some tree, taltered and torn,
and not fit to be used even as an envel-
ope for a pound of yellow soap, or a
couple oftallow candles, "eight to the
pound dips" Such would be the result
of these new tangled notions about the
organization Of society-or rather very
old-fangied, for they were current at
Rome so long as the time of the Grac-
chi.
Then, again, what a complete simili-
tude between bachelor and kite that
has lost its tail. You have seen one, |
dare say, reader of mine, at the moment
of such catastrophe; how it whirled
over and over, and sailed about, and
played all manner of ridiculous anticks,
and at last came iuttering down looking
very especially foo!ish--and all for want
Of a tail. Is it not just so with you un-
married enormities Men are the flying
kites of this world, and they want wives
and children to keep them up steady !;
the family is the tail of the human kite,
without which it can neither get up or
stay up, to any good purpose. A High
land chief, and a kite, and married
man, are all instances of the utility of
a tail. b. agqa = siIi augi a7H.i s'H
Such readers as took, pains to look
over simple Home Sketch" of mine,
in the last number but one, will perhaps
do me the honour Of remembering the
laudations therein recorded, in praise of
the doings in /" "Our Street, but the
catalogue would be imperfect unless
honorable mention were made of cer-
tain huge kite, the building and perform
ances Of which have created mo little
sensations in all the region adjacent.
We began on a moderate scale, with
sticks of a yard long, and one of the lar
gest newspapers Courier and En-
quirer, or Sunday Morning News.
Then we followed a regular newspaper
example, and took ouselves to enlarg-
ing, so lhatn the course of a fortnight or
so. we had got up an affair as large as
a moderate-sized dining table tor small
party, in the construction of which we
used up more than two blanket-sheets !
and a half. But our ambition grew by
what it fed on, and after successive en-
largements, we have at last produced
a monstrous concern--the veritabie ifa-
ther. and grandfather, and great-grand-
fatheraof all kites--standing some nine
and half or ten feet in heighth, and, of
course just as wide, being six-sided in
form, and covered with stout muslin, in
stead of your flimsy newspaper. An
eminent artist volunteered his services to
adorn its best side, whereon he depicted
huge face with eyes considerably lar
gerithan saucers, and:a sedate smile, in
which benignity and solcmnity strange
ly blended, forming that mysterious and
indescribable expression unanimously
given~by travellers tothe countenance
Of the Egyptian Sphynx, and the ele-
ments OF (which il is SO difficult to analize
For the st'ingsome thousand
and odd yards OF strong cod-line were
provided. experience having enlightened
us of the disasterons consequence of
inthat very important depart
ment /; and all the rag baskets we could
lay hands on, were put under requisilion
for tail. This tail, by the way is
phenomenon of the first magnitude, I
dare hardly venture mention its length
more precisely than by saving that it is