Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1837-04-21

The Irish Squirrels Page.
ride into the town, and see il there's let
ter for me-, said the squire, one day to our he.
70. 'Yis, SIR
you know where to gol' ITO the town
SIR
But do you know where to go in the town.
mo, sir
And why don't you ask, you stupid theft
Sure I'd find out, SIR
Didn't often tellyo to ask what you're to
do, when you don't know 'Yis, SIR
And why don't your Il don't like to- be
troublesome, SIR
'Confound your said the squire; though he
could not help laughing at Andy's excuse fol
remaining in ignorance.
'Wel,' continued he, ego to>the post Office.
You know the post office supposeX sYis, sir;
where they sell gunpowder.'
YOU'RE right for once,' said the squire; for
his Malesty'spostmaste was the person wh0had
the privilege of dealing in the aforesaid combns,
tibe. go then to the post Office, ask for let
ter for me. Remembers NOT gunpowder but
a letter.
'Yis, SIR said Andy, who got astrde of his
hack, and trotted away to the post Office On
arriving at the shop of the postmaster, (for
that person carried on brisk trade in groce-
ries, gimlets, broad cloth and linen drapery,)
Andy presented himself at the counter, and
said,
q want letther, sir, if you plase.'
who do you want il fori said the postmns-
ter, in a tone which Andy considered an ag-
gression upon the sacredness of private life: so
Andy thought the coolest contempt he tooid
throw upon the prying impertinencc of the post
master was TO repeat his question.
Il want letther, sir, If you pase.'
'And who do you want il for? repeated the
postmaster.
Whats that TO youi' said Andy.
The postmaster, laughing at his simplicity,
told him he could not tell what letter to give
him unless he told him the direction.
The directions got was to get letther here
that's the directions
WHO gave those directionsi' The mas
ther.'
'And who's your master'' What consarn is
that o. yoursi'
why you stupid rascal If you don't tell me
his name, how can give you letteri' you
could give it il you liked; but you're fond Of
aXing impudent questions, bekase you think Pm
simple
Go long out o. this. Your master mus, be
rs great goose as yourself to send such n mes
senger.' Bad luck TO your impudencer said
Andy; is it squire Egan you dar to say goose
toi'
'Oh, squire Egan IS yourmaster thcn:' 'Yis;
have you any thing 10 say agin itH
Only that never saw you before Faith,
hen, you'll never see me agin if have my own
Il will not give You any letter for the squire, )
Unless know you're his servant. Is there any
me in the town knows you''
Plenty said Andy; iii is not every one is az
gnorant as you.'
just at this moment a person entered the
house TO get letter, to whom Andy was known;
md he vouched TO the postmaster that the ac-
ount he gave of himself was true. sYou may
1--WE him the squirc's letter. Have you one for
ne' 'fes, SIR said the postmaster, produ-
ing one; -four pence
The new conner paid the fourpence postage,
md left the shop with the letter.
Here's letter for the squire said the post
Master. you've 10 pay me eleven pence post
lge.'
What 'ud | pay eleven pence fori' 'For
'ostage.' \
TO the devil wild youl Didn't see you give
dr Delany n letther for four pence this mint,
nd bigger letther than this; and now you
'ant me To pay eleven pence for this scrap of a
hing. Do you think Pm fool!'
NO; but Pm sure of it, said the postmaster.
Well, you're welkim to think what you phase;
ut don't be delaying me now; here's fourpence
)r you, and gil me the letther'
go along, you stupid thief said the post
'aster, taking up the letter, and going to serve
customer with mousetrap.
While this person, and many others were ser
ed, Andy lounged up and down the shop, eve
7 now and then putting in his head in the mid
lie OF the customers and saying, will gil me
he letthers'
He waited for above half an hour in defiance
the anathemas of the postmaster, aud at last
II, when he found it was impossible to get the ]
ommon justice of his master which he thought
deserved as well as another man; for under
us impression, Andy determined to give no ,
lore than the fourpence
The squire in the meantime was getting i'm !
ntlent for his return, and when Andy made his !
ppearance, asked if there was letter for him. !
There is, sir, said Andy.
hen give il to me- q havn't il, SIR
'What do you meani' He wouldn't give il I
me SIR
WHO wouldn't give it to your THAT old I
late beyant IN the town,-wanting TO charge l
,uble for it,
May be it's double letter. Why the devil /
dn't you pay what he asked, sir? 'Arrah, /
r, why would let you be chated. It's NOT a {
'uble letter at all; not above half the size o. {
lie OF Mr.. Delany got before my face for four {
'nce.' /
you'll provoke me 10 break your neck some I
", you vagabondl Ride back for your life, j
~ omadhaun, and pay whatever he asks, and
I me the letter. =
why, sir, ] tell you he was sein' them be-
re my lace for iourpence apiece Il
60 back, you scoundrel, or I'll horsewhip
~; and liyou're longer than an hour, I'll have 3
~ ducked in the horsepondp =
Andy vanished, and made a second visit 10 !,
c post Office. When he arrived two other :,
rsons were uetting letters and the nost,,o. L