Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1837-06-24

were again consigned to the soothing
embraces of cushion and pillow; his
hands, linked together, reposed in affec-
tionate guardianship on his ample dia-
phragm-his lobster-like eyeballs paled
their Intellectual fires'--the lids f1ickered
like an expiring rushlight, and he gradu-
ally merged into state of total obliv-
ion, with the startling text, Awake, thou
that sleepestp for his lullaby. In spite
of the zeal and eloquence Of the preach
er, which were of no common order, |
could not preventsmy attention ever and
anon swerving from the subject of the
discourse to the insensate lump of NOR
tality in the opposite pew; more espe-
cially as the recollection of the last
nights nasal powers begat a nervous APP
prehension lest a similar performance
should subject his present untimely
eclipse to public rebuke from the pull
pit. My anxiety, however, on this nead,
was speedily directed to an object which
threatened an interruption of more for
midable character. In consequence of
the excessive heat of the weather, some
Of the doors of the church were neces-
sarily left open during the service.
Now, whether it was that he only medi-
tated retreat from the fervor of the
monday sun, or that he was compelled
to seek the shelter of the sacred edifce
from the wanton annoyances of certain
profane loiterers in the church-yard, /
know not; but certain it is that my
bearded enemy Of the previous evening,
the he goat before noticed, made his ap-
pearance in the porch Immediately with
in my ken; and after executing prefa-
tory pas seul, not strictly of the Taglo-
nj school, he gradually insinuated him
self through the aisle, until he came di-
rectly opposite the open pew occupied
by the Unconscious contemner of the
text. Here he planted himself, and
deliberately surveyed our sleeping
hero with a curious attention.
Naturalists, learned in the domestic econ
omy of these animals, assert that they
are, for the most part, OF headstrong
disposition, and much given to warfare
among themselves; and, moreover, that
their signal for battle is'invariably con-
veyed by three mods of the ad..AyHow
far this is worthy of credit, am unable
to verify beyond the instance now mar
rating. Howbeit, the immediate object
of the goats contemplation had by this
time taken far journey into the Land
of Nod,' and soon acknowledged the at
tention of the animal by bow of lol-
loping profundity. Billy, as if perceiv-
ing some indefinite symptoms of capri
cornity about him, answered it with a
short nod of defiance second declen-
sion of the head met with similar res
ponse; and the third dip had scarcely
reached zero ere the challenge was ac-
cepted by the goat, who, lowering his
horns, rushed full butt through the door
way, and pitched into his supposed an
tagonist in style which would not have
disgraced the palmiest days of Crib or
the Game Chicken. In a few moments
after the collision, the church was in an
universal uproar. The seat door was
closed on the combatants; and our hero
thus unceremoniously recalled to his
senses, and half consciousness of the
scene of his delinquency, verify believed
himself delivered over as prey to the
fend in person. In the extremity
of his fear he seized one of the pillows,
which he brandished as shield, and the
which at the next onset became fixed on
the horns Of the enemy. In this state,
an energetic kick deposited the latter in
the opposite corner Of the pew, where
our little man pelted him with prayer
books, bibles, pillows, hymn-books, has
socks, and every other extempore piece
of ammunition within his reach; after
which, in paroxysm of bewilderment,
he scrambled into and over some half
score of seats and pews with the agility
OF a chimpanzee, bolted like blazing
meteor through the nearest doorway,
and finally effected lodgment in his
bedroom, at the Pig and Blunderbuss,
in state little short of insanity.
On my return to the inn, some2 hours
after this extraordinary exhibition, | de-
manded from the waiter what had be-
come of the gentleman who had played
so conspicuous part in it, and learned
that he had not yet left his apartment.
Considering the state of excitement in
which he must have entered it, this SEEM
ed to me somewhat odd; could not
help entertaining vague conjectures that
a scene Of shame, consequent on his re-
cent erpose, had driven him to commit
some act Of desperation on his own. per-
son. However, as Ihad no right to med