Litchfield enquirer., 1837-04-20
TITS ONLY MY HUSBAND.

! '""NS" s''St"NCSP 0tIO ulSDldCCS l1IUpt Sh"ckingly. How frequently do we 6nd the tin'id, retiring, yielding spirit of woman Il" the form ofa thanksgiving place at once as if, like woman, "born to be controll- ed." The whiskers of tiger, and the proportions of a Hercules, in innuncrable instances, cover heart with no more bold mess' or energy, in its pulsations, than the 'ittIe Palpltating affair, which is placed in 'hc bosom of q maiden of bashtul fifteen while many lady fair--Lefore marriage, all sottness and graceful humility-bears with m Ter breast the developed fire and inimi- table resolution of an Alexander, Napole- on, ora Caesar. That soul, which had she been man, would have qualified her for military conqucror, or great thief -catch- ing police officer, by being in a female f'a"e' renders her Zantippe-a Napole- on ot the fire-side, and pens her husb band, !'ke vanquished King, prisoner, spir- !tless captive in his own chimney-corner. The whole race of grey mares-and their name IS legion-according 10 our theory, became so by accident. They have the souls of men; while the same number of men are scattered through the world the hen-pecked genus-wi,h souls of feminine mould.
 So 1t was with our friends Mr.. and Mrs, fnzglg. They are pattern pair, and ex- empllfy our notions on the subjeet to nice- ty. MT. Flzgig thought himself quite a model of a man, before he was uniucky enough to get married-o great mistake :! He dreamed he was chuck full of valor. and fit to lead squadrons to the feld-at the sound of drums and trumpets, Especially of a Fourth of July, after he swallowed a brace or two of juIeps,) he jerked up his chin, stuck out his breast, strained his back bone, and believed himself just the boy ,o head forlorn hope in storming fortress -a great mistake. But worst of all, he made Mrs. Fitzgig of Miss Seraphina Seri- ma Pump, taking her for feminine wo- man, when the " lurking devil in her eye" might have told him that she was a mascu- line woman, the greatest mistake of the whole troop of blunders. As to the last, however, Fhzgig was little to blame.- He had seen manifestations of Seraphna Pumps dormant energies for he was pres- ent when she took cat by the tail which had scratched her, whirled it two or three times round her head and slung it whizzng and crashing, through the window into the street; and he saw her bung her fathers eye with an egg at breakfast, because he would not promise to buy her new bon net, with other little affairs of the sort. but Fitzgig, like ourselves, in our sallad days,' as Coleridge calls the time when we fall in love with bright eyes and such matters, liked lady none the worse for little sparkling ofthc old 'un' in her composition. He believed she loved the harder for it, and he was satisfied that his own sway could curb all improper manifestations Alas for Fitzgig! alas for most men who venture under the same impression, upon the same experience! Fiery ladies may be beautiful !-so may kicking pony-but tame them if you can.
 Fitzgig, in two weeks, was metamOr- phosed into only my Husband :" He strng- gled bard-but who can resist his fate r. Mrs. Titzgig 'chastised him so with the vaIor of her tongue and of her deeds, that his valor was speedily returned non est sn- ventus.
 I'm going out of town, fishing, to- morrow, my dear,' said Fizgig, as he buck led on his stock before the glass early one morning: but I'll be back, my darling, soon the next day.
 No you won't, my love- shrieked Mrs. Fitxgig, as she sat bolt upright in bed, ! see how it s-tired of your poor wife, a'- ready; yes, tired! l say tired! So Mrs. Fitzgig sprang ont of her nest lifted up pitcher of water and smashed il all to pieces on the floor.
 Fitz felt considerably dshed but eye ing the pitcher and streaming water, he re- heated in tremulous tones: I'm going a fshing!'
 The bason followed the pitcher. Mrs. Fitzsig seized the looking glass and ejacu- lated with sufficient glance; Going a fshing?'
 What could Fitz do? He was concern ed as they say, in the neighborhood of the Star and Bank Alley. So he knuckled down close-Thc war was unexpected, and he had not calculated the cost.
 No, believe aint going fishing. = Mrs. Fitzgig saw that she had made an i'm. pression. Her military genius whispered to her io follow itup. It is not cnoue b to ront foe. The true principle is 10 demolish him-to use him completely up.
 'Ah, you only say that [" deceive your poor neglected wife, there is some mis- trcss that's the fishing; and you want to sneak off
 Now, Fi,z looked conscience stricken, like all towards, he did intend to sneak off, and his face betrayed him.
 You are going a fishing. MT. Fi'zgig, said she, and crash went the mirror against the wall.
 Mrs. Fiz commenced dressing with cx-