The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1837-09-29

/" Why" SAYS |. Uncle Sam, 10 This
you!" says I. IL don't know. Major"
says he; 8 but Why do you ssk---doa'I ]
look ss nslral as eser!" says he. And
there he stood. hoidin his breeehes up
with both hands. and his elbows both torn
ouland dirty shirt sleeve peepinihrnugh.
and h0les in his slockins. and his Sims
all plasfered over. 81 Why" saws I.
/" Uncle sam, what on alrih ails ynn!
Come" says !. give me your-Iand,
my old friend, and lei Us talk il al over
together" I am sorry. Msior." says
he, j" eaa'i shake hands with YOU Jest
nov my hands ace busy" says he.
I" What" says |. s. hnldln the money
ave, Uncle Sam.--boIh hands full. as
usual, says /. " Not exactly, Msjw,"
says he: and with that he rum up close
10 me. and whispered in NV ear, g I am
IN a = bad box Msjor." says he, L" have
got 50 many wives. | amt got button
left for my susPenders---lhey are all Of. !"
+" DO tell now" says 4. - I want 10
know!lr "lfs. true" saws he, land
you may see for YOURSELF" And with
that | look'd---and sure EMU, there never
was a man 10 sich pickle.
Well, says I, Uncle SAM. this comes
from folks gwen you bad adVice--or
rather BY your not Iskin good advice.
You forget. says !, one f.el.-ahd that
i, that u vas intended that your family
matters should be regulated on the same
plan ii every oinrr we'll repelsied family
and ihsl tho YOURS Is the General Cor
eminent f.uily. il vas intended 10 be re-
gsla'ed jest on The came plan as the fam
Iiy nf lhs humbgesl &c Q your masters. ="
and there. ssys I. was the mother ,ci, nj
Ihe Ihmg ~ ihe beg,anln." What ''mas.
leTs" says be. spunkih up and uyln 10
swell-lbul iakiu care TO hold an tn his
hteechesl- WHO are NV .masIersr "
says he. Your na.ier.!" SAYS l.
Why he psopls---and am one on en-.
Uacle Sam-.-and Il YOU had stuck To tue
rule they made for the r,eelliIus Of your
family. you would not nov be in your
present cond ton"
Now" saws !. "Uucle sam, there
is but one way that | eau see fcr YOU to
,ske---and ihai is fnr you Ia csil all sour
Young women about YIN aud tell 'em that
vow cant have hut nRe wlie---and thew
must ga husbands each m their own
States. Here uncIe Sam shook his head
and tucked Considerable sad: - am afraid
MjDr." says he. lis ton isie---it was an
easy job 10 git rd Of one wifc, but TO GIL
rld oI 50 many all Al once. | am afraid
shall GIT spsnk'd as red as a cherry"
Never mind thai" says |, you'll gIi no
more than YOU d,'sar,e 1t vnu d.; fnlks
,hal dance must pay tue 64!l'r." Tvs I,
"Uncle San" "Bni." SAYS lee, Mi II.
must ! tiUOree them alp" {" n, "<H-I |.
"lhere is no diporee IN the ms,t-r. lnu
can't i" thai unless YOU can prove cum.
con-: that's the law" says |. " Well
can," says he, " can prove that the Post
Office, the Land Office, and Amos-"
Hush" SAYS |, L" Uncle sam. don't talk
50, for il is an old story in all countries,
that man who has more Than one wife
is bigger fool than his friends. and has
more friends than buttons. Now don't
say any Thing more about IL. You have
got into scrape. aud the best way is To
gll outan'L You'll find that your young
wives will be as glad 10 cit rid of sou. as
you viii be lu eltrid III them. But you
mus'nl talk Of diuorce, nc they'll bring
You 10 the pool, and show tina, you first
came couriin. And hy the time you
prove guilt Oa any nn EN-, they'll q, YOU
'on the hIp.' aud keep YOU there toe"
SAYS |; Now look at your cour,in, aud
compare il with what il was--.iis sad
change" saws |, " Uncle Sam, Amt il!--.
however," says !. "my old friend, you
have had rare frolIc, and this is the
eend on'I---and prltty much the eend ui
all frolics." snow" says |. ave mus,
60 and see what can be done with The
old Wife. I'LL be bound." says |. "she
is as sound as ever she was. and not the
worse Tor having taken shelter in her
old native State Of Pennsylvany. III GO
on FIRST" saws l, "Uncle Sam, and tell
her to gil her buttons and sope ready for
you, aud il | don't miss ny guess, you
will in few weeks look as cherk agin
as boy--and as she is good nslur'd
crItur and likes 10 see all happy about her.
she will do all she can to provide for the
young women YOU have been galavaaum
with Of late, Tor she thinks yoa more to
blame than they be. Aud then," says |,
Uncle Sam, when all gifts sick'd up,
and you git all your buttons sew'd on,
you will have spare hand to welcome
friend or knock down an enemy. Al
present." saws |, "Uncle Sam. YOU are
hum-bug'd' "'--and with tina,
Uncle Sam he twltched up his breaches,
and spunk q up Considerable, and We mo-