Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1837-08-31

short.
f-T The UNION RIFLE CoMpASY solicirs the honor
Of Major BENEFITS company on their annual target
excursion, 10 take place on Tuesday 9th, and We'd
nesday 9th September. The company will assemble
the Arsenal Yard, al half past SIX A. Nj. on the
9Th, and proceed 10 Havcrstraw in the Steamboat
Union, and return Wednesday 9th, IN the Warren.
Very respectfully, yours,
August 10Th, 1897 SAMUEL s. PARKER, Capt
ASswER-I thank you, Captain Parker, and if
possibly can, will accompany ysu. ToHaversuaw
do you go! What beautiful excursion Are there
any pretty girls there Do you carry your wives and
daughters how accurately you can hit the
mark 2 Don't 60 without beauty. II will keep you
out ofharm's way. will go if possibly can
"
Characteristic SKETCHES OF DHuMMEHs-ALr-
ander Bounce.-rhs gent is an original genius in
every sense OF the word; ne does more knows more,
says more, and do more than any OF his coMpet-
TORS On his first to Mississippi he swan the Misss
sippi river nine times riM one horse killed three
aligaors toi pocket knife present at fourteen
deer hunts and three Buffalo sknmmages-in the lat
,er Of which he killed uo criturs with pocket pis.
toll has frequently drank twenty eight Julcps and
thirteen glasses Of punch and rode slxytwo miles
in one ddy-and knows more Of the character of the
Mississippi boys, and Their circumstances, than any
one in this village. He makes nothing of selling one
man sl2,000n morning, and another SIG 600 IN the
afternoon!-nav he has frequently done II for he
told me So" The house he now hives with, pays him
$4,000 asd his liquor, lno small lten) Anew even
ngs since al The City HOTEL he was discourslng iber-
rally on tho character OF merchant at Wood. &c,
and by the frequent rubbing of his leg, and brush of
his whskers, had worked himself into mognan.-
nous fiji of dsdain for the Woods &c trade in gen.
era, and this gentleman in particular, and accompa-
med his name with several hints deracting from his
credit, when the gent started from nelghborng
chair and required the Of the latter and his
thority." Poor Alexander Bounce! the way he look.
ed a cantor" he literally trembled from head
| TO foot-siammered request that the gent would
step aside for hun to explain, and so great was his
terror that he could not stand upl What he said
know moth but tho matter ended by Bounce's selling
the gent bill Of goods on his own terms.
BY the way, when you sit for fancy portrait of
Apollo Mr.. Bounce may rs we'll be your Tyre.
The Major. -Butlttle, perhaps need be SAID OF this
gent, he is the "Crchton Of his class, and leaves
competitors and mitators far behind. There is an
unaffected lnsouciance in his manner, that wells It's
pervadng sarcasm, and gives il strong resemblance
TO frankness! and who can resist such charm
Tho major, is a bottle companion of the first rank
for he talks WELL and spices his anecdotes with "quo-
taens ample, and points felicitous' He is first
rate Judge of human nature, and few have more sdi.
ciously drawn upon the mind Of observa ion oiie cd
by the cominqng OF characterin our hotels.
Mr. William Greensheu.-This gent 10 close
imitator of "the MAJOR" aad his nval in trade but
nature has denied him ALL the requisites his know
ledge OF men and manners 10 limited-his wit mere
buffoonery his sarcasm, name abuse and his quo
tations, unmitigated abortons of published authors
added TO all this, he has not spark OF generosity in
his whole composition.
There ia one redcemng point about him, namely
coldness Of manners rather repulsve, and therefore
keeping him al distance from ones "bed and board"
and preventing collision, that wosld be any thing
but agreeable.