Constantine republican. [volume] (Constantine, Mich.) 1836-1838, 1837-07-12
THE JNLUCKY PRESENT.

A Rev. GU minister OF the church of
Scotland, who lived within the present Gen.
tury-was one of those unhappy persons,
who, to use the words of well known
Scottish adage--"can never see a green
cheese hut their cen reels" He wa ex-
tremely covetous, and that not only of nice
articles of food, but of many other things
which do not generally excite the cupidity
of the human heart. The following fact is
in confederation of this assertion Being
on visit one day at the house Of one Of his
Pensioners, a poor lonely widow, living in
q moorland part of the parish, he became
fascinated by the charms of little cast.iron
pot, which happened at the time to be stand
.,yg o. o.. the hearth, full Of potatoes for the
poor woman's dinner and that Of her child
rem. He had never in his life sccii SUE aets a.
nice little pot--it was gem-no pot on
earth could match it in symmetry-it was
an object altogether perfectly lovely. "Dear
sake minister" said the widow, quite over.
powered by the reverend mans commen-
dations of her pot; "if we like the pot sac
weel as a. that, beg yell just TAX present
OF. I'll send it over the morn wi Jamie,
as he gangs to schulz" "Oh % said the
minister, 81 can by no means permit you to
be at so much trouble. Since you are so
good as to give me the pot, I'll just carry
it home with me in my own hand. Pm so
much taken with it, indeed, that would re.
ally prefer carrying it myself" After
much alteration between the minister and
the widow on this delicate point Of polite.
ness, it was agreed that he should carry
home the pot himself.
Off then he trudged, bearing this curious
little culinary article, alternately in his hand
and under his arm; as seemed most conve-
nient for him. Unfortunately the day was
warm and the way long, SO that he became
heartily tired Of his burthen before he got
half way home. Under these circumstan-
ces it struck him, that if, instead of carry
ing the pot awkwardly at one side of his
person-he were to carry it on his head,
the burthen would be greatly lightened; the
principles Of natural philosophy which he
had learned at college, informing him that
when load presses directly and immedi-
ately upon any object, it is far less oner-
Gus than if it hangs at the remotest end of
a lever. Accordingly, dofing his hat.
which ne resolved to carry home in his
hand, and having applied his handkerchief
to his brow, he clapped the pot in an invert-
ed position upon his head, where, as the
reader may suppose, it figured much like
Mambrino's helmet upon the crazed capital
of Don Quixote, only great deal more
magnificent in shape and dimensions.
There was at first mnch relief and much
comfort in this new mode of carrying the
pot; but mark the resuh.--The unfortunate
minister having taken by-path, to escape
observation, found himself, when still good
way from home, under the necessity OF
lcaping over ditch, which intercepted him,
in passing from one field into another. He
jumped; but surely no man ever jumped
so completely in, or at least into the dark
as this. The conclusion given to his per.
son in descending caused the helmet to be-
come hood: the pot slipped down over
his face, and resting with the rim upon his
neck, stuck fast there, enclosing his whole
head as completely as ever was knight in
cased in his coat Of mail. What was worst
Of all, the nose, which had permitted the pot
to slip over it, withstood every attempt on
the part of its proprietor to make it slip
back again tho contracted part or neck
of the petra, being Of such peculiar forma-
ton as to cling fast to the base of the nose,
although it had found no difficulty in GID
ing along its hypothenuse. Was ever min
isier in worse plight Was there ever
contretemps so unlucky' Did ever man
so efectually hoodwink himself, or SO thor
oughly shut his eyes TO the plain light Of ma
turel What was to be donel The place
was lonely; the way difficult and danger.
ous--human relief wus remote, almost be.
yond reach. 1t was impossible, even to