The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1837-01-04

personal beauty and irresistability. This
had been SO poured into him, on him, and
over him, that he was fairly impregnated
with it, and acted accordingly. lie had
paid his way into the graces of the village
tailor, who did his best to maintain his own
reputation, but with Neddy's figure we defy
even our best Broadway mercer to have
made much.
We have said he had ten thousand dol
lars and farm-so he had, and had nj
ready thought of disposing Of both. lie
had fallen in love, or rather he had been
persuaded to fall in love, for of his own vol
ition he did nothing, with Miss Ellen Orms-
by the younges, daughter of a gentleman
of some property, in the village, and had
paid her very frequent visits. Neddy's Wis
its had been received by Mr. o. for long
time, out of respect TO the memory OF the
deceased deacon, whom he esteemed and
admired lie had never, however, dream
ed that the deacon's son had an idea of we'd
ding his daughter, but appearances" &c.
! Ellen was as beautiful as the village belle
! (or such she was) ought TO have been-she
was as mlschlevous rs n young lady should
not have been, aud she had found out that
Neddy was one of her worshippers; she
had too good heart to encourage him for
the sake of little amusement, so when he
one day startled her 10y n very direct ques-
ton, she promptly aud decidedly refused
him.
| Neddy was thunderstruck. lie had new
er, it is true, acted of his own accord, or
Ellen would not have added him to her long
list of " negatives" and he had been taught
to consider himself SO infaIlible, that he was
utterly at loss what TO do or say. lie
went directly To very particular friend OF
his named Jones, who Glanced to he the
most unmerciful wag in the place, and who
entire nous, had prompted Neddy 10 make
the offer.
Jones was very much astonished when
Neddy told him that Ellen had actually aud
positively rejected his suir, himself, his farm
and ten thousand dollars. lie could
scarcely believe il possible that any girl of
common sense could do so--could be SO
foolish. However, there was one remedy,
and Neddy should have it ut oncc. lie
gave him powder, and told him to give it
TO his cod-hearted dulcinea, IN any shupe
or manner he could, without exciting her
suspicious, aud that once tnken he would
never he doomed to a second disappoint-
ment, at least from her
Neddy took the powder, with thousand
thanks, and having procured a very beouti-
ful apple, dextrouslv inserted it into the
heart, without spelling the outward appear
:. ance.
| Armed with this, he went towards FL
lens house, aud seeing her in the garden,
dared not speak to her, as he was rather
ashamed of his work the day before, but
placed the apple on the top of The garden
gate, presuning that she must see II when
she left, and departed, trusting to fate.
There's many "A slip 'twixt the cup and
the lID." An old SOW, with litter of nine
little porkers, was cruising around the gar
den fence in search of some Of the good
things Of the earth, aud in rubbing her back
against the fence had Knocked the apple off.
1t met her sight; in moment it was lost
it was goue-irrevocabIy gone, down her
hungry, capacious thront--wlth IT went
Neds hopes but he did not know it, and
y0u know, reader. that
Where ignorance is bliss,
'Tis folly to be wise"
The next day Neddy had determined TO
call aud renew his suit to Ellen. nothing
doubling that his powder had taken effect.
lie had dressed himself, ms he though, per-
fectIy CONNIE IL faut, and according to his
own IDEAS, needed nothing to make him in-
yincible in any tlt of love he might choose
to run.
He had proceeded perhaps about hulf
way when he heard dreadful scratching
and granting behind him, aud on turning
he beheld parsou Browns old sow, with her
whole litter, in full run, apparently chas-
ing something or somebody. Several OF
the villagers who were passing along at the
time, turned around also To look at the
sight, and all wondered what had got into
her."
As soon as she reached Neddy she halted
and ditto the little pigs; she looked up IN
| Neddy's face and uttered loud gruni-i
chorus of squeals answered her.
! Neddy sho'Od and shaved, he had on
his incest white jean pantaloons-they lit
ted like the skin, aud were white rs the
driven snow, aud he dreaded the coniami-
mating touch Of the old SOW. She did not
heed his slio'os or shaw's, but came boldly
up to him, and mougre all his efforts to the
contrary, succeeded in rubbing her muddy
snout against his immaculate white pants.
His rage now exceeded all bounds. lie
kicked the old sow, and he kicked The little
| pigs, bin h. kicked to no purpose. The
rubbing and grunting continued, and his
pants in few moments were IN staie OF
Indescribabeness lie puifed and bowed
and cursed and swore but it did no good.
lie thought the creatures must have gone
mad, aud that idea nearly drove HIM SO.
Several of the villagers, who had stopped
TO see the old SOW run, now run TO see her
| stop, and were not a little amused at the