Constantine republican. [volume] (Constantine, Mich.) 1836-1838, 1837-01-11
From the Sail sbury Waterman
THE ROUND ROBIN.

One of the best legal stories we know
of, is that of the Round ROBIN, as it is ia
military called, in the low circuits of North
Carolina, and owes its hunor to the fertile
and cultivated mind of lawyer who is
still alive, but in distant western State.-
All the lawyers attending court about the
year 1910, boarded atthe house of Mr.. B.
who at the beginning of his life, as publ
can, was assiduous and provident but
riches multiplied. Boniface became lazy
crusty, and parsimonious. His accommo-
dations, as they are usually called, from
being the very best, had by degrees, de-
generated into the very worst in the whole
country. This was borne with muttering
from time to time, until, in fit of despe-
ration, the whole fraternity of lawyers af-
ter mature deliberation In Congress as
sembled,' resolved TO quit the house, and
60 to another in the same village; the duty
of announcing the separation devolved upon
the gentleman above specified, who, being
somewhat struck with the mock Importance
the affair had assumed, wrote the following,
and sent it to the landlord, signed with the
names of all the descendants in round
ring below:
A DECLARATION.
"When in the course of human events,
it becomes necessary for hungry, half
fed, imposed on, sci of men, to dissolve
the bonds of the landlord and boarder, n
decent respect for the opinions of man.
kind, requires that they should declare the
causes which have impelled them to the sep
aration.
We hold these truths to be self evident.
that all men are created with mouths and
bellies and that they are endowed by
their Creator with certain unalienabo
rights, which are, that no man shall be
compelled to starve, out of mere complais.
ance to landlord, and that every man has
right to fill his stomach and wet his
whistle with the best that's going.
The history of the present landlord o.
the White Lion, is history of repeated in.
suits, exactlon, and injuries, all having
in direct object, the establishment of abso
lutte tyranny over our stomachs ant
threats.
To prove this, let facts be submitted to 9
candid world.
He has refused to keep any thing to drink
but baldlace whiskey.
He has refused 10 set upon his table fol
dinner, any thing but turnip soup, with ;
little bull beef and sour krout which art
not wholesome and necessary for the pub
lie good.
He has refused to let his only waiter
blink eyed Joe, put more than six grains o
coffee TO one gallon of water.
lie has turned loose a multitude Of fleas
and swarms Of bed bugs to assail us in the
peaceable hours of night, and to eat GU
our substance.
He has kept in our bed, and bedsteads
standing armies of these merclless savages
with their scalping knives and tomahawks
whose known rule of warfare is undistin
guished destruction.
He has excited domestic instruction q
mong us by getting drunk before breakfas
and making his wife and servants so before
dinner whereby there has often been thu
mischief to pay.
He has waged cruel war against nature
itselfby feeding our horses with broom straw
and corn stalks, and carrying them off t.
drink at puddlcs where swine refuse to wal
low.
He has protected one eyed Joe in all hi
villainy. in the robbery of our jugs, by pre-
tending to give him mock hlal after shar
ing with him the spoil.
A landlord whose character is thus mark
ed by every act that may define a tyrant
unfit to keep boarding house for Cherokee
Indians.
Nor have we been wanting in our al
tention to Mrs. B. and Miss Sally b. W
have warned them from time to time {
the attempt of b. to storve and fleece us
We have reminded them of the circum
stances of our coming 10 board with thor
we have appealed totheirjustice and mag
nanimity--wc have conjured them to alte
state of things, which would inevitably il
terrupt our connexion and correspondence
They too, have been deaf to the voice {
Justice. We are therefore, constrained
hold all three of these parties alike inimlc'
to our well being, and regardless of on
comfort.
We therefore, make this solemn declart
| ton Of our final separation from our 10
mer landlord, and cast our defiance IN b
teeth"