Iowa news. [volume] (Dubuque, Upper Mississippi Lead Mines, Wisconsin Territory) 1837-1841, 1837-10-07

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WHAT CONSTITUTES A BgTRoTHNEST. /
The most interesting and decisive
period 10 the history of courtship re-
mains to be considered. We have en-
deavored to conduct the enquirer after
truth along, from one step to another,
till we have brought him to that point /
when he is prompted, not only by the |
affections. but by regard for his own |
character and the charsctero of his friend.
to make those declarations of attach
ment and lore, which, ifreciprocated,
prepare the way for the assumption of
Obligations the most binding and SOL
emn. What, then, is the nature of
betrothment? And what are the cir
cumstances which will render it null |
and voids
l. remark that matrimonial en-
gagement does not consist in any Of
theciyiiitiesand courtesies oflife which |
a gentleman may extend to lady. 1t !
is not unfrequently the case, however,
that these are mistaken for declarations
Of love, and the announcement made
At once that such person are engaged
Such is the imprudence of friends Of
ten, and more frequently of the lady
herself that the politenessand attention,
which is ever due between the sexes,
are construed into proposals for mat
rimony, and young gentleman hears
the report of his engagement while, as
yet, not even dream Of the thing has
passed his own mind.-But such i'm
prudence the lady sewers herself from
the society, perhaps, Of an honorable |
and polished mind, and brings upon
herself and friends the modification
and disappointment which will inevi-
tably follow in such cases. If gen.
fleman attend lady to church, If he
escort her to the public assembly, visit
her for the sake Of good society, the
report is not unfrequently set on foot,
by some mischief-maker or indiscreet
friend, that the parties are engaged to
be married.
2. Neither does an engagement con-
sist in any politeness, or social inter-
course which lady may extend to a
gentleman.
There are young gentleman, how
ever, of such consummate vanity, as
to suppose that such treatment is moth
ing less than the strongest intimation
Of personal attachment. If q lady 50
much as look at them, they fancy it
must be love affair, and equivalent to
the most direct proposition matrimony.
A smile, a compliment social inter-
view, walk or ride Of pleasure, is set
down by such conceited coxcombs, as
the NEST unequivocal declaration Of
love. They tell Of the conquests they
have made, with an air of triumph,
and never know their mistake till they
learn it in that reserve and neglect
which their conduct SO richly deserves.
3. Neither does an engagement con-
sist in any Of those preliminary steps,
which are SO important in order to
just estimate Of the character and feel
ings of each other.
Many persons, however, imagine
that every such step is committal.
While the individual is only forming
that wise estimate, and making those
judicious investigations, which every
one is bound to make, in the affair, by
= regard to his happiness-and that Of
others he is considered fairly COM
nitted, without the possibility Of hon
orable retreat. But this is all wrong.
whether it be the sentiment Of individ-
lals or public sentiment. The veryI
object Of his researches is to ascertain
q the character and qualifications Of
the person are. such as will make him
, happy companion for life. Without
slch Investigation he might as well
commit his interest, in this matter, to |
allady he had never beheld. He might
. well be betrothed, as heather chill
drsn, BY their parents, without his con-
ssat and knowledge, and while yet in|
: :tase s. infancy. He might as Welt
olinaio,d hlmsslf, and rush into great
assembly, and select companion atl
random. Parents must suppose their
daughters little elsA than, anaels' s 4 the, tbau
expect to betrotk them in tais m !, .
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