Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1837-06-28
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ADVICE TO YOUNG LADY AFTER
HER MARRIAGE.
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FN"~~ w INV hS1Ns
You are now married and as is usu-
al on such occasions, your friends and
acquaintance will profess TO wish you
Joy. Many will do SOFAS an act of COM
mon civiliiy, feeling little OF nothing Of
the sentiment which the words import.
When, however, | express solicitnde
for your welfare, | think | am entitled
TO the credit of meaning something
more than the performance Of an empty
ceremony. But, when congratulating
you, know no better way of proving
the sincerity ofmy professions, than by
rendering you my ADVICE as to some Of
the means deem it necessary 10 be
pursued in order TO render your new
situation matter OF real lellcitation.
Young people are very apt TO think,
if they think at all on the subject, that
when they get married their cares arc
all scattered to the winds, and that their
happiness is secured for life. So far
from the truth isTach thought, that
when reality aYskens them from the
dream Of uninterrupted bliss, they find
their sorrows doubled, and whether
thelr joys are 10 be increased or not, de-
ponds mostly onihemselves and they
viii still find causes enough to inter-
rupt their happiness, thoagh each
should.dotheir best to prevent or coun-
teract them. One thing is certain, that
the married state may be made more
happy than the single life, or it may be-
come state of perfect wretchedness /;
and whether your present situation is to
be better than that you exchanged Tor
it, depends much, or mostly, on your
self. 1t is therefore "A matter first IN or
der, as well as the FIRST in Importance
TO you, hat you should endeagor to as
certain the means best calculated to Sc
cure a continuance of that happiness
which doubtless you expect to expert
ence ia the welded life. On this sub.
iect | will endeavor to assist you.
That you were happy during the Pc
riod spent in courtship, you will rot de-
ny. That you were SO, arose from the
consciousness that you loved, and were
beloved in return /; and from the plea
sing hope or moral certainty that you
would attain the object OF your alice
,iaus, .She rope IS realized, ana That
you are happy now, you need no one
TO tell you. II is the reciprocatedaii alice
lions of your husband which make you
happy--lt is yours which make him so
hence, mutual affections constitute the
source of connubial bliss +; and II IS
equally true that the infllcliy OF the
married state follows the loss Of those
affections. On the continuance of the
affections, then, no less than on the
choice Of husband, depends your hap
piness in the welded life. The means
TO insure a continuance Of those alice
tons is the subject next in course for
your consideration.
So numerous are the instances in
which married people have lost their
affections for each other, that the IN
rejecting have hastily concluded that
it is easier to acquire than retain them.
Ii this be true, it goes to prove that
YOU should be more asslduous to retain
the affections of your husband than
you were TO gain them. But IT IS not
true to the extent which many believe.
1t is very unphilosophical to argue that
like causes will not produce like eli.
fects, or that the effect will cease tho
the cause be continued. The truth
most probably is, that, when the atfec-
tons Of married people beome extinct,
it is owing TO their neglect to continue
the causes by which those affections
,cere first elected. What man in his
senses, if he knew the disposition OF
the lady he addressed, would fall IN
love with a sour, sulky, brawllng, III
natured womanl 1t is the opposite
qualities which he sees or thinks he
sees in the lady of his choice, OF which
he becomes enamoured. 1t IS coun-
tenance iIlumined with smiles, eyes
beaming with intelligence, a mouth
flowing with sweetness and good ma
ture-in short, department indicative
of modesty, midness, and benignliy,to
which ne pays the homage oil bis heart.
If such were the causes, by which were
quickened the tenderness OF the lover,
RELY on it that nothing short OF those
will ensure the affections of the hus-
band; for when the causes subside, the
effects must necessarily cease, and then
misery and Indebtedness will become
the inmates Of your household.
More of the happiness OF married
people is involved in their conduct du'
ring the first year, than in any succeed
ing period of their connubIal assocla-
ton. There are probably but few IN;
stances where persons newly married
do not discover, and that too in an car
ly period of their matrimonial reialion'
each in the other, some trait OF char.
acter which had before escaped their |
;on--and much. very much, OF 4