Constantine republican. [volume] (Constantine, Mich.) 1836-1838, 1837-11-15
A TAVERN KEEPER ClRCUM.
VENTED.

beast had been hardly driven. The stran
ger had much the appearance of an inteli
gent farmer Of moderate means, and who
though liberal, perhaps was never profuse
After attending TO the welfare of his horse
ne entered the bar room.
You may give me, said he to the land
lord, something TO eat, but merely colo
bite. My business is very urgent. there,
fore any thing will answer my turn for the
present.
Scarcely moment had elapsed aftel
his order was issued, ere the jingling of 0
small bell summoned HIM to the .sdininp
ROOM" which in ordinary places would
have been termed nothing more than bee
room. The fare placed before him, nj.
hongh cold bite as he had ordered, IN
The striciest sense Of the term, was YET
meagre IN the extreme. The remains Of
dish of boiled pork and potatoes and a
glass of water, were all that had been appro
priatcd TO his use. L'et-
Swallowing a w hasty morsels he a.
gain presented himself at the bar and de.
manded his bill.
Half a dollar for your dinner said Bon.
iface.
"Half dollar! seldom dispute tav.
ern bill, but for the meal have had, the
charge is an imposition .r a.
"A meal is NEAL answered the land.
lord, and that is our regular price,
III 10 small sum to quarrel about OBJ.
served the traveller, 'but prefer being pill
fered in manly Manner
"A meal is meal, SIR again returned
the landlord, in a sury manner, we always
charge that whether man eats more OF
less, good or bad
Perceiving alteration to be useless, the
stranger paid the bill. called for his horse,
and rode away, with the muttered excla
nation that he would sometime have ade
quate revenge.
His destination was about fifteen miles
| distant. After transaciing his business.
he was about starting the following day up
on his return. lie had mentioned to 9
friend the circumstances we have recorded
and that person answered that the tavern
was notorious for its extravagant charges
but that he could find him man who
would put the landlords maxim "a meal is
a meal 10 thorough test. Accordingl,
| before setting out. our traveller was intro
duced TO his companion, who abstained
from eating in order 10 do justice to the en-
tertainment Of his employer. He was {,
be paid the expense of his dinner and jour
ney. The new adventurer was burly
good humored fellow, something of way
and extremely shrcwd. He was withal
most incorrigible guton. Eating and tell
ing large stories were his chief cnjoyments
He was fortunately stranger to the land
lord.
Landlord said the traveller, owe this
man, Jones dinner which lost by yer,
foolish bet-furnish him one and will pa
for it,
'What will you have, asked the Landlord
of Jones.
"A roast turkey, SIR
The landlord stared, but issued his or
ders TO the occupants of the Kitchen
They required some little time to compl
with their orders. The landlord and Jone
soon made themselves old acquaintan
ces."
Rather red face that of yours. land
lord,' said Jones. Il hav'nt seen an
hing that looked like spring before fin
blossoms, SIR
You are quite crooked character MI
jones'
Rather sir, but not so crooked as tire
once knew. Ii was the 'alest butternl
| ever saw. Standing close 20 it one da
in thunder storm, | saw a squirrel o
one of the topmost branches. The ligh
! ming struck The same branch about tire
feet above him, and the squirrel started
The lightning had to follow the grain {
, course, and the squirrel went strait dowr
So COMPOUNDED crooked was that tree. 81
that The squirrel, by my watch, go, to ii
bottom precisely three minutes before ii
lightning
That's lie, swear!' exclaimed Il
!. landlord.
A lie! true, sir, as ever any story wa
afterwards saw that tree cut down Al
made into rails for hog pasture. IT
\ hogs would crawl through twenty times
n day, and so Numbering crooked were the
are rails that every time the hogs got OF
l. thew found themselves back in the pas,u
l. uyuin
e Before Jones had time to tell onoth
$ story the bell rang for dinner. The turk'
; was there, flanked on one side by hug
> dish of potatoes, and ON the other by conc
/. ments of various kinds.
J. Il will thank you miss said he to d
girl waiting to cook few slices OF b.,
q I am afraid | shall not make out dim
IS OH this
Q. The girl withdrew in amazcment, VIII
Jones made most vigorous attack up
: the turkey, which rapidly disappeared t
I'd ole his advances, wings, legs aud DO
9 were soon transformed into skeleton, a
heaped into pile beside his plate. +
= vegetables too, had sensibly diminish,
:. and he had just laid his hands upon
II apple pie of most uncommon dimension
ne when the girl made her appearance W
or the beef.
Thank you said Jones, have the goo
1t. ness now TO cook me some pork steu
Is rather rare, and bring me plate Of pickl
n: Ihave strong Appetite. 'fu'.
& The girl disappeared, and Jones fell
TO- apain. but with less alacriiy than befo
,e He managed. however. to devour the b
u.s. lust as the girl came in with the pork,
- pickles mean time, being eaten. IN,
ny miss, III trouble you for some fresh a
OIL have you got any
an While the girl had Como TO inquire
this, the landlord who had bcen appriss'