Iowa news. [volume] (Dubuque, Upper Mississippi Lead Mines, Wisconsin Territory) 1837-1841, 1837-12-30

ysssssg A sLOAFER. - s
The Knickerbocker thus hits off the
likeness Of loafer at Niagara.
Exceedingly amused atithe air and
manner Of ! decided Ioafer, senti-
mentalist withal, and topper, who had
come out Of his way from Buffalo to
see the Falls. Landlord, = said he 10
the Boniface Of the cataract, .and you
gentlemen who stand on this porch
witnessing this pitiless rain, you see
before you one who has 4 tempest Of
sorrows beating upon his head contin-
ually. Wonsf I was worth twenty
thousand dollars, and / driv the sad
ling profession. Circumstances alter
cases-now / wish to solicit charity.
Some Of you seem benevolent, and ]
am not destined to rank myself among
those who could travel from Dan to
Bersheba, and say allis barren. No
/ scorn to Drag but I am intelligent
beyond my years, and my education
has been complete. ] have read Vol
ney's Ruins, Marshall's Life Of Wash
ington, Oyid's Art of Love, and Pope's
Essay on Man, and most Of the litera-
ture Of the day, as contained in small
newspapers. But the way I'm situa-
ted at present is scandalous. The fact
is, nv heart is broke, and I am Just
Ishmaeling about the globe, with a
sombre brow, and bosom laden with,
woe. Who will help me speak sin
ely gentlcmen---who will tease my
grief and drive. my cares away3" as
Isaac Watts says in one Of his devo-
|tional peems.' =
No answer was returned general
laughter'arose. The pride Of the mem
dicant was excited--rage got the bet
ter Of his humility; and shaking his
fist in the face of the bystanders, he
roared out-sY cure all pack of poor
|ornary common people. You insult
honest poverty; bat / don't hang my
head for a. that as Burns says. / will
chastise any man here, for two three
cent drinks Of Monongahela whiskey;
yes, though ! have lately escaped ship
wreck, coming from Michigan to Buff
falo, and am weak for the loss of
strength, yet can whip the best Of
yeu. Let any one on We come over
to the Black Rock Rail Road Dee-pot,
and I'll lick him like
"Never mind that part Of it, said
one, "tell us about the shipwreck."
+ AAhn he continued, "that was a
scene! Twenty miles out at sea on
the lakc--storm burstin' on the deck!.
the waves, like mad tailors, making
breaches over us continually Light.
ming burstin' overhead, and hissin'
under water the clouds meeting the
tearth--thc land just over the lee bow J.
every mast in splinters; every sail in
rags; women a-screchen; farmers
wives, emigratin' to the West, calm
for their husbands; and graves yawnin'
all around! A good many was dread
fully sick; and one man, after casting
forth every thing beside, with vio-I
lent wretch, threw up his'boots. OH
gentlemen, it was awful! Atlengthi
came the last and destructive billow.
1t struck the ship in the left side, in
the neighborhood of the poop, and all
at wonst / felt something Under us.
breaking away. The vessel was part
ing! One half Of the crew was drown
ed--passengers were praying, and COM
mending themselves to heaven. l a.
lone escaped the watery DOOM"
"And how did you manage to re-
deem yourself from destruction?' was
the general enquiry. sSEssa
why, gentlemen, the truth is, II
seen how things was agoin, and Itook
a,sy hat and aren't ast0re!,'
The last / saw of this Munchausen,
was as as our coach wheeled away.
He had achieved .drink" and was
perambulating through the mud. liSht-
ened momentarily Of his sorrows.
FEMALE, MoDEsTY. i
Perhaps few female graces have such
captivating powers, as modesty. It is
one of the most distinguishing and
characteristics Of the sex. 1t insensi-
bly, deprives the proAigate ofhis want-
On schemes, and exalts his mind to de-