South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1837-05-06


gan.
Andy unanswered round him lit
tile longer, and again essayed to be
heard.
"Mr. Morgan p'--Don't you see I'm
as busy as | can be! Can't you do it
yourselfW
ri dunna what he wants.
"Well go and ak him, 'said Mr.. Nor
gan.
Andy went off as he was hidden, and
came behind the thirsty gentleman s
chair, with Il beg your pardon, sir"
"WellE' said the gentleman
II beg your pardon, sir; but what's
this you ax'd me for?"
"Soda water
"What sir?"-"Soda water; but,
perhaps, you have not any,"
ooh, there's plenty in the house,
sir Would you like it hot, sir?"
The gentleman laughed, and suppo-
sing the new fashion was not under
stood in the present company, said
never mind"
But Andy was too anxious to please
to be so satisfied, and again applied to
Mr.. Morgan.
"Sir !" said he-"Bad luck to you
can't you let me aloneI"
"There's a gentleman wants some
soap ard wather.''
"Some what !"-'soap & wather, sir.
"Divil sweep !"-''Soda watheryou
name, yen get it underline sideboard. !"
els it in the can, sir !'-"The curse
Of Crum'll on you-in the bottles
'Is this it, sir ?" saidsAndy, produc-
ing q bottle CT ale.-"No bad cess to
you the little bottlesl"
SIS it the little bottles with no bot
toms, sir ?"-w wish you wor in the
bottom of the say :" said Mr.. Morgan,
who was tuning and putting, and rub
bing down his face with his napkin, as
he was hurrying to all quarters of the
room, or as Andy said in praising his
activity, that he was like bad luck
every where"
There they are 7 said Morgan at last.
"Oh! them bottles that won't stand, ;"
said Andy !; sure them's what l said,
with no bottoms to them. Howl I o.
pen it; its tied down i'-"Cut the
cord, you fool !"
Andy did as he was desired ard he
happened at the time to hold the bot
tie of soda water on level with the
candles that shed light over the festive
board from large silver branch, and
the moment he made the incision, bang
went the bottle of soda, knocking out
two of the lights with the projected
cork, which performed its parabola the
length of the room, struck the squire
himself in the eye at the foot Of the ia
BILE, while the hostess at the head had
cold bath down her back. Andy,
when he saw the soda water jumping
out of the bottle, held it from him at
arms length every fizz it made ex-
claiming, "Ow!-ow!-ow!' and, at
last, when the bottle was empty, be
roared oat, "Oh, Lordl its all gone !"
Great was the commotion; few could
resist laughing except the ladies, who
all looked at their gowns, not liking the
mixture of satin and Soda water. The
extinguished candles were relghted-
the squire got his eye open again.
and, the next time he perceived the
butler sufficiently near to speak to him,
he said, in low and hurried tone of
deep anger, while he knit his brow,
"Send that fellow out of the room v'but
within the same instant, resumed the
former smile, that beamed on all around
as if nothing had happened.
Andy was expelled the sale man
ger in disgrace, and for days kept out
of his masters and mistresses' s way; in
the mean time the butler made good
story of the thing in the servants hall i;
and when he held up Andy's igno-
rance to ridicule, by telling how he
asked for "soap and water" Andy was
given the name Of "Suds," and was
called by no other, for months.
The scay they acorh in Hino's.-The
Illinois Patriot gives an account OF a
citizen who received his timber from
the mill, made frame therefroml5 by
| % feet raised it, shingled and weather
boarded it, put in window and door
frames, and partly painted the house
all in one day.
RICH MRr's WAGEs.-Two neigh
boris met, one ofwhom was exceeding
" rich, and the other in moderate cir
cumstances. The latter began to con-
pratulate the first on his great possess
ions, and on the happiness which he
Il with his own condition. "My friend,"
said the rich man, "let me ask you one