The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-09-09
THE DEATHS OF KINGS.

| the violence OF HIS Pdosi"''''
Gs died the death of the poor stays which
he hunted. Henry the First died oil glut-
tony, having eaten too much oil a ilsh Oh
larnpreys. Stephen died IN a lew days oil
what was called the lilac passion, whlch
we suppose may be royal word for prus-
sic acid, or something like it. Henry the
Second died of broken heart, occasloned |
bv the bad conduct of his children. bro
ken heart is very odd complaint for a
monarch to die of. Perhaps "rats-bano III
his porridge' meant the same thing as a
broken heart. Richard CGur de Lion died
like the animal from which his heart was
named, by an arrow from an archer. John
died nobody knows how, but it is said oil
chagrin, which we suppose is another name
Of a dose of hellebore. Henry the Ill. is
said TO have died ga natural DEATH" which
with kings and in places, means the most
unnatural death by which mortal can
shuttle off his "mortal coil" Edward
the Firstis likewise said to have died of
's,aaturd Sickness" sickness which it
would puzzle all the colleges of phesicians
to nominate. Edward the Second was
most barbariously, indecently murdered by
ruffians employed by his own mother and
her paramour. Edward the Third died of
dotage, and Richard the Second of starya-
ton, the very reverse of George the Fourth.
Henry the Fourth is said to have died "of
fits caused by uneasiness," and uneasiness
in places in those times was very common
complaint. Henry the Fifth is said to have
died "of painful aflliction, prematurely."
This is courtly phrase for getting rid of a
king. Oh! that the glorious hero of Agin-
court should have been got rid of by the
priests "by apainful aiiliction premdturely.
Henry the Sixth died in prison, by means
known then only TO his tailor, ard known
now only by heaven. Edward the Fifth
was strangled in the Tower by his uncle
Richard the Third, whom Hume declares
to have possessed every quality for gov
ernment. This Richard the third was Kill
led in battle, fairly of course, for all kings
were either killed fairly or died naturally
according to the court circulars of those
days. Henry the Seventh wasted away,
as miser ought to do; and Henry the
Eighth died of carbuncles, fat and fury;
whilst Edward the Sixth died of decline.
Queen Mary, the most heartiess, or the
most bloody hearted of wretches, is said to
have died ola 'broken heart" whereas
she died of a surfeit, from eating too much
of black-puddings, her sanguinary nature
being prone to hogs blood, or blood of any
sort. Old Queen Bess is said to have died
OF melancholy from having sacrificed Essex
TO his enemies. James the First died of
drinking and of the effects of vice. Charles
the First died a righteous death on the scaf.
fold, and Chales the Second died suddenly.
1t Is said OF apoplexy. James the Second
died abroad, thank God! and we trust that
the Duke of Cumberland will do the same
William the Third died from consumptive
habit of body and from the stumbling Of a
morse. Queen Anne died from her attach
fnent to ''strong waters" or in other terms
from drukenness, which the physicians
politely called the dropsy. George the
First died of drunkenness, which his doc.
TORS as politely called an apopletic fit
George the Second died by rupture on |
the heart which the periodicals of that dav
termed visitation Of God. 1t is the onIy |
instance in which God ever touched his
heart'-George the Third died as he had
lVed' a madman: Throughout life he was
at least consistent Monarch. GEORGE the
Fourth died of gluttony and of drunken.
nesS' William the Fourth died amidst tbe
symPathies of his subjects, and NAV it bc
long time before we have the means ordo
scribing the death of his successor,-T,a,,
Reg'"a-Satarday Chronicle.
A description ofthe person JESUS Cupisr