Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1837-05-20
ATIAxDY ANDr,' ana Tie Soda Wdter.

W etAS IA ctki ANo VI tiN
was his wonder The butler took him
in 10 give him some previous Instructions
and Andy was so lost in admiration al
the assembled glass and plate, that he
stoodwith his mouth and eyeswide open
and scarcely heard word that was sale
to him. After the head man had beer
dinning hisinstructions into him for some
time, he said he might go until his atten
Z |oDee was required. But Andy moved
~ 'le stood with bis eyes fixed by 9
s0ff of fascination on some object thai
seenAd to rivct them with the same un.
acconntable influence that the snake ex-
crcises over its victim.
What are you looking att" said the
butler =
Them things, sir" said Andy, point.
ing to'some silver forks.
lsit the forks :" said the butler.
sOh no, sirl know what forks is ve-
nv well; but never seen them things
afore."
What things do you mean 7" ~
"These things, sir said Andy, taking
up one Of the silver forks, and turning it
round and round in his hand, in utter
astonlshment, while the butler grinned
at his ignorance, and enjoyed his own
superior knowledge.
Well" said Andy, after long pause,
"the devil be from me if ever | seen a
silver spoon split that way afore."
The butler laughed horse laugh, and
made standing Joke of Andy's. split
spoon; but time and experience made
Andy less impressed with wonder at the
show of plate and glass, and the split
spoons became familiar as household
words" to him, yet still there were
duties Of table attendance beyond Andy's
comprehesion-he used to hand cold
plates for fish, and hot plates for Jelly,
&c. But,l.one day." as Zanga says
"one day" he was thrown off his centre.
in very remarkable degree, by bottle
of soda water.
It-was when that combustible was first
introduced into Ireland as a dinner bev-
erage, that the occurrence took place,
and Andy had the luck to be thesperson
to whom gentleman applied for soda
water. 4
..,Sir" said Andy" Soda water,"
said the guest, in that subdued tone in
which people are apttoname their wants
at a dinner table.
Andy went to the butler. sMr. Nor
gan, there's a gentleman Let me
alone, will youp said Mr.. Morgan.
Andy maneuvred around him little
longer, and again assayed to be heard.
"Mr. Morgan Don't you see Pm
as busy as 1 can be? Can't you dofit
yourselfl" XII
81 dunna what he wants."
swell, go and ak him." said Mr..
Morgan.
Andy went off as he was hidden, and
came behind the thirsty gentleman's
chair, with " beg your pardon, sir"
G"Well," said the gentleman.
al beg your pardon. sir; but what's
this you axed me fort"
"Soda water"
"What, sir?" "Soda water; but per-
haps you have not any," 4
aOh, there's plenty in the house, sirl
Would you like it hot, sir 7"
The gentleman laughed, and suppos-
ing thelnew fashion was not understood
in The present company, said "never|
mind
But Andy was too anxious to please
to be satisfied, and again applied to Mr..
Morgan.
- Sir!" said he" Bad luck to you
can't you let me alone Z"
There's gentleman& wants some
soap and wather,"
"Some what" ?"" soap and wather,
sir" F3
"Divil sweep soda water youm name,
veil get it under the sideboard."
aIs ii in the can, sir ?"-" the curse of
Crum'll on you--in the bottles"
SIS this it, sir :" said Andy, produce
ing bottle Of ale. "No, bad cess to
Won 1.-The little bottles"
"Is it the little bottles with no bottoms,
sirl" .Iwish you wor in the bottom
Of the say" said Mr.. Morgan, who was
fuming aad putting, and rubbing down
his face with his napkin, as he was hur-
rying to all quarters Of the Aoem, ofaas
ANDY said, in praisingtflis activity. that
he was .like bad luck every where"
"There they aIe r said Morgan, at
last.
"Oh ! them bottles that won't stand"
said Andy sure, them's what ! said
with no bottoms to them. Howl Iopen
it.; its I'D down." "Cut the cord you
foolp