The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-05-20

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tude and longitude presented the same re-
tatiye proportions as those usually bestow-
ed collar of brawn-the resemblance there
unto being still further maintained in the
mottled lusre of his visage. This worthy
lay coiled up, like hedgehog, in the ex-
IRENE recesses of the capacious chair, and
proclaimed triumphantly through his nasal
trumpet the victory he had achieved over
the cares Of this world. Being somewhat
tired myself. | left him to the society of
Morpheus and his empty RUNNER, and soon
tumbled into bed, to the mutual ANNOYANCE
of myself and prolific colony Of Aeas,
whose claim to the title of industrious
was amply established on various parts of
my body corporate during the night. Hay-
ling taken summary vengeance on some
score or so of these fea-bottomists. | de-
scended to breakfast to the tune of the
matn chimes; and in due time repaired to
the church, where accommodation was prof
fered me by well-to-do looking family,
evidently Of some note in the village; from
the spacious seat in baize and brass bed
right, and the stalwart build of their PRAYER
bOoks.-Almost in line with my locate,
on the opposite side of the aisle, was large
aristocratic looking pew, unoccupied, save
by sundry scarlet cushions of cstimable
plumpness, and corner pillows to match,
right portly in dimension. The service
had proceeded to the end of the first lesson,
and | was speculatng with myself to what
magnate of the land this luxurious chapel
ease might appertain, when hustle in the
aisle Immediately leading to it interrupted
my cogitations, and lo
"Iike some internal demon sent
Red from his penal element
oPague and to polluto the air.
or, rather, like a twelve-inch globe, in
flame coloured tafeta, appeared the bur
nished frontispiece of the very worthy whom
| left snoring on the precious evening in the
Pig and Blunderbuss. That he was a
Stranger was evident from the inquiring
glances he shot off in quest of a seat; yet
nobody took him in.'-Either the pews in
the immediate vicinity were already occu-
pied, or the proprietors of any chance va
cancies manifested no great aacrity in
seeking a nearer contact with this little ig-
mis- fatuus. In this dilemma his eve at
length lighted on the Gorgeous vacuum be-
fore mentoned: and, entering with Dame
Nature, charitable adherence for such
state, he made for the open door, and with
out more ado trundled his peggy periphery
into the snuggest corner of the pew, and
appropriated a brace of the well-sufTed pill
lows for the especial solace of his dorsal
cXtremites. Here he nestled like a mouse
in meal tub, and, if mistake not, slept,
until aroused by the pulmonary efforts of
the choir and congregation in giving due |
effect to the old hundredth Psalm. How
ever, at the singing he stood up; and, more-
over, paid decorous observance to the es-
tablished ritual during the communion SER
wee, and the succeeding psalm. But
scarcely had the latter 'tumult dwindled to
a calm,' ere his loins were again consigned
to the soothing embraces of cushion and
hands, linked together, reposed
in ailectionate guardianship on his ample
diaphragm; his lobster-like eye-balls 'paled
their Intellectual ires'-the lids nickered
like an expiring rush-light-and he gradu-
ally merged into a state of total oblivion,
with the startling text, Awake, thou that
sleepest,' for his lullaby In spite of the
zeal and elolucneo of the preacher, which
were olno common order, could not pre-
vent my attention ever and anon swerving
rom the subject of the discourse to the in {
'onsate lump Of mortality in the opposite
'aw; more especially as the recollection of 7
MS last nights nasal powers begat a nery- t
'us apprehension losta similar performance a
hould subject his present untimely eclipse t
o a public rebuke from the pulpit. q
My anxiety, however, on this head was a