davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29
GLEANENGS.

A good author should have the STYLE and
courage OF a captain, the integrity of a diving
man, and so much sense and ingenuity, as IN
impose nothing, either weak or needless, on
the world.
The best of authors are not without their
faults, and if they were, the world would not
entertain them as they deserve. Perfection
is often called for, i'1i Hobody would bear IL
The only perfect man that ever appeared in
the world was cruciGed,
The man whose book is filed with ouota-
tons, may be said to creep along the shore
OF authors, as if he were afraid to trust him
self to the free compass of reasoning. OH
ers defend such authors by different allu-
sr0A, and ask whether honey is the worse for
belng gathered from many flowers
A few choice books make the best library.
multitude will confound us, whereas mo.
derate number will assist and please. Mas
ters OF great libraries are too commonly like
booksellers, acquainted with Little else than
the titles. '''''
lie that always praises me is undoubtedly
hatterer; but he that sometimes praises and
sometimes reprOves me, is probably rsy besr
trlend-fOr he speaks his mind.
Men are too apt to promise according 10
thelr hopes, and perform according to their
All the wisdom in the world viii do little.
whlIe man wants presence of mind. He
cannot fence well that is not on his guard.
Arehimides lost his life by being too busy to
give an answer.
To reform others perfectly is as impossi
Ole as it is vain. What have we to do then.
ont to despise all little capricious humours,
md to amend Otuselvesl
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29
Valuable Water Privileges.
BY GEORGE p. MORRIS.

How much real comfort every one migbi
enjoy, ifhe could be contented with the lot
an which heaven has cast him, and how
much trouble would be avoided lfpeonle
would only ''let well alone" A moderate
independence, quietly and honestly procu-
red, is certainly every way preferable even
10 immense possessions achieved by the
wear and tear Of mind and body SO neces-
sary to procure them.-Yet there are few
individuals, let them be doing ever so well
IN the world, who are not always straining
every nerve to do better, and this Is one az
the many causes why failures in business
SO frequently occur among us. The pres
ent generation seem unwilling 10 realize
by SLOW and sure degrees; but choose rath-
er to set their hopes upon single cast.
which either makes or mars them foreveri
Gentle reader do you remember Mon
sfeur Poopoo! He used to keep a smaIl
toy-store IN Chatham, near the corner of
Pearl st, fo0 mustrecollect him, of course.
lie lived there for many years, and was
one Of the most polite and accommodating
OF shopkeepers. When a juvenile, Won
have bought tops and marbles Of him
thousand times. TO be sure YOU have:
and seen his vinegar vissage lightened up
with smile as you paid him the copyers.
and you have laughed at his straight little
queue and his dimity breeches, and all the
other oddities that made up the every dav
apparel of my little Frenchnaan. All. I
perceive you Teeollect hin now.
Well then, there lived Monsieur Poopoo
ever since he came from ''dear, delighted
Paris" as be used to call the city of his
nativity, there he took in the pennies for
his kickshaws-there he laid aside five
thousand dollars against rainy day-there
he was as happy as a fal'k-and there, in
all human probability, he would have been
to this very day. respected and substan-
tlal eitlzen had he been willing to slet well
alone. Bus Monsieur PoOPoO had heard
stories about the pOdigious rise in real es-
taie, and having understood that most of
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29
.e...... TIE MoRALTST.
Ingratitude Towards tho neltv.

Perhaps there is no crime which find
fewer advocates than ingratitude. Persons
accused of this may deny the charge, bu
they never attemptto justify the disposition
They never say that there is no obliquity anC
demerit in being unmindful of benefits. L
moral fitness Is dlscernibae on any occa
sion, it is so ON an occasion of favors be.
slowed and received. In proportion to
these favors is the degree Of demerit attach.
ed to ihgrattude. Agreeably to this is tne
sentence so often quoted from Publius Sy-
rus, "Omne dixeris maledictum, quinn in
gfatum hominem Gxeris."
With what feelings do we receive and en-
Joy favors bestowed by our Creator! Our
dependence on him is absolute and hhiver-
sal. Existence is hol more truly bis giit,
than are all those objects, which render ex-
istence valuable. To this muni6cence are
we indebted for intellectual powers, and the
means FOR their cultivation; for the susie
nance daily provided; for the enioyments
derived from the active and varying scenes
Of the day, and from the rest and tranquilli-
ty of the night. His gifts are hle relations
and friends, whom we love, and from whose
affection to us SC considuroblca part of the
joy of life is derived. His are the show
ers which mOisten, and the sun which warns
the earth. From Him are the pleasures and
animation Of spring, and the riches of har-
vest--all, that satisfies the appetite, sup
ports or restores the animal system, gratifies
the ear, or charms the eye. With what
emotions, let il be asked are all these OBJ
lects viewed, and these blessings enjoyedl
Is it the habit of man TO acknowledge God
III his works, and to attribute all his pleas
ures and security of life 10 the Creators
munihcenc6! Possession and prosperity
are enjoyed not as a gift to the undeserving,
but as the result of chance or good fortune,
or as the merited reward of our own pru-
dence and effort. Ware gratitude trait in
the human character, it would be proportion
ate to obligation, and where much is receiv-
ed much would be acknowledged. In this
the liveliest sense of obligation would be
exhibited among the wealthy, and those
whose prosperity had been long and unin-
terrupted. But do facts correspond to this
supposition! Are God, his providence and
bounty, most sensibly and devuutly ac-
knowledged by you, who feel no want, and
are tried by no adversely! The truth is, our
sense of obligation usually diminishes in
proportion to the greatness and duration of
blessings bestowed. A long course of pros
perity renders us the more insensible.
But on no subject is human ingratitude
so remarkably apparent, as in regard to
the Christian religion. Ispeak not of those
who reject, but of those who believe Chris
s8R6daa x6pa sEs EsliHse his oniS bssoi
ten son, that whOsOever belieyetb on him
might not perish"
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

WHAT Is PRAYER'-Prayer is not ran.
ture, rapsody, flight into the third heav.
en-: 1t is not the proud ascent of the i'm.
algination into some high region of splen-
dors and sublime attractions. Ii is moi
necessarily the ecstacy of the soul over
whelmed with rushing tide of irresistible
emotions. 1t is simple every day business.
1t is simply communing with God,-com-
munng with him, not in the heaven amono
Inc seraphims--not in some mid region Of
the air, remote from the range of human
business, and trials and burdens; but here
on earth, just where we need his grace and
help. In order to this communion. God
does cal usup to himself; he comes down
to us--down to the level of our infirmitv.
thus he makes prayer simple thing, as
the expression of child's desires, whis-
Pered into the ear of kind father. If Won
would see what prayer is, or rather what it
ought to be, study the Lords PRAYER, that
model Of christian devotion. How little do
we see there of sublime imagination; how
little OF enraptured sensibility; how little of
intellectual abstraction and effort; how much
OF common sense plainness, and child
IKE simplicity, in matter and in mannerl
Alter this manner pray ye!
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29
THE E1TMoR1sT.

The Bitter Bit,-A person who wore a suit q,
homespun clothes, stepped into house in this CITY
on some business, where several ladies and gentle,
men were assembled i'm ith inner room. One of tho
company remarked lin a low tone, though sufficient,
ly loud to be overheard by the Strangely that
countryman was in waiting and agreed to maks
some fun; the following dialogue cnsued:
You're from the country, supposed"
"Yces, I'm from the country"
"Wel sir, what do you think W the cityl"
ats got 'tarnel sight o. houses in IT," :,
81 expect there are gIeat many ladies whers'
you came FRONT"
30 yccs, wOundy sight, jist for alf the yorl
like them there" (pointiug to the ladies.)
And yea are quite beau among them fTydoubilS
"Yees beau's 'em to mectin' and about
"May I've the gentleman will take a glass of wilma
(said one of the company.)
"Thanke, don't care if do
"HGt yoN must drink i6asth
81 eats toast, what Aunt Debby makes, but Is 3.
drinkn it, never seed the like"
"Oh you must drink their hcaItG"
"Wp Nh my heart"
What was the surprise of the company to hcsF
the stranger speak clearly, as follows:
"Ladies and gentlemen, permit me to wish vSA
health and happiness, with every other blessing this
earth can afford, and advise you to bear in mind
that we are often deceived by appearances. You
mislook me, by my dress, for country booby, 4
from the same cause thought these men TO be gen.
tlemen; the deception Is lnNtua,-I wish you
good evening""
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

VmruE.--VIrtue rs the daughter of Hea-
ven: happy those who cultivate it from its
infancy they pass their youth in serenity,
Their manhood in tranquility; and their old
age without remorse. There is nothing m
thls world fit to be compared with it: alb its
wishes and desires tend to eeIestsJ eniov-
ments which are not liable to- change. The
ylrtuous man looks back on his past con-
auct wlthoutregTgt, because his Fate GARNET
but be happy, His mind is ,he seat Of
eheerbulness, and his actions are the, oun.
datiens of felicity; he is rich amidst never.
ty; and no one can deprive him of what he
possesses; he is ALI perfection, for his life
is spotless; and hehas nothing 10 wish for
slnes ne possesses every thing
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

HUmLrTY.-1hey who in reality know
much, are the most easily satisfied that thew
know but little. The last sentence uttered
by the distinguished La Place was, 'What
we know is little; what we are ignorant of.
IS immense" Sir Isaac Newton, before
his death, expressed similar sentiment. 81
do not know what l may appear 20 the
world-but to myself | seem to have been
IKE a boy playing on the sea shore, and di-
Vertfng myself IN now and then finding a
smoother pebble or prettier shelf than Or
ulnary' while the vast ocean of truth lay
stiH undiscovered before me.
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

CAUTIoUsNEss.-A fellow who had ,scordoJ f.,
platform for the purpose Of being hung. told tho
hanginan that he hoped the rope was strong enougb
as II 1t should break and he fall to the ground he
might be so seriously injured as to become crrnIo
ior he His aPPrehensions were quieted when The
hangman assured him that he might "venture upon
theToPe with perfect safety!o 'f'"
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

A Nermonter lately arrived in Detroit, and having
calculated to remain here offered lis horse for sale,
lie took the animal up 20 Che pubic stand, and after
describing his qualities in the most glowing terms,
eohcIudeo t1s Tecl nmendatOn by saying that "h6
Iouio uiiye nun 50 fsr IN one day that would take
HIM two days to get him back again.
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

CoLOured Case.-It was reported Of a certaIs
cillzen that he had married black wife. One per-,
son remained an unbelever on the subject, until he
ana ms friend met the offender with his black spouse
leaning on his arm
4, What say you nowF Doyou believe the gen.
ueman is gIlyl'
Truly retained the skepdc, at Looks very black
on AsS side, | mast confess
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

"Tum cut, OF by golly IN serve you as did a
man tother day." hallooed Jonathan who, with
his gal in the lumber box about coming in con-
tact with dandy in his fine gig. The aIrished
beau turned out, for he twas sadly terrified ut the
mysterious threat, and as brother Jonathan was
passing, asked how he served the other mani "Why,
turned out myself"
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29
A HIT AT THE TIMES.

The following capital sketch is full of
point, biquancy, and sly humor, and is one
of the cleverest hits at the times that we
have seen for many day. The writer
aimed his arrows with great skill, and struck
the target directly in the centre. We COPY
it from a late number of the New York
Mirror:
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

some years ago a crack-braned man who was
SnSh'ed by the females. very thodest asked vounp
lady, ri she would let him spend the evening with
her. mo" she anghly replied "ttta,'s what
wont wont ".WWhy," replied he, "yCu needn't be so
one, when cant go any where else"
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

Virtues Of Nustard-"Mustard Sir" exctimed
manufacturer thereof whilst indicating the viz
tues OF that pungent article-"Mustard SIR, acts ns
dluretic, dioplogstic tonic and it is good gsfy
as an emetic, great as blister, and unspeakaby
graRd as a cataplasm"
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

Cheating Uncle Sam.-A gentleman sent lad
with letter to the Baltimore Post Office and mon.
ey TO puy the postage. When he returned hc said
81 guess did the thidg slick, seed a good many
folks putin euers into the office through hole, 50
watched my chance, and got mine in for aetAi,it
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

a 1aDern &gn,-"What device shall | have U'
pom my sgnl" said gentleman about 10 oIen
house OF public entertainment, with his Tar more
fully provided than his parlour OF orbed-rooms.
"Put on il the picture of a horn, with yourself
crawling out at the little end" said by-standcn
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

There is no truth in men," said lady in compa.
ny. "Ihey arc like musical instruments, which
sound variety of tones" ,"-'In other words, mad.
sl1 Mh said wit who CHANGED to be present, "you
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

ARsEscE OF MISD.-The Memphis Enquirer rc4
iates the last notebe instance: "a gentleman bach
eor falling into ecsacies with sweet little prattler.
nesting in its mothers arms, intending TO kiss il
fell to kissing its mother, and was only .opprssd Of
his mistake by the fist the husband.
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

a library having taken fire, some one expressed
reply, "except the Lives Of the PoetsJ 10 "'O
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

Dou6e EnteTSre~--A newsnmrried lady who was
very fond of her husband notwithstandi1g his ex-
ueme uglissss of person, once sand b a witty friend
-" what do you Think My husband has gone
and laid out fifty guineas for a large babboon ON
purpose TO please mel!
"Fhe dear little mani" 6ststg the other, Well IL
is Just like him.
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

Agreeable Hariety.--Bushiess first and pleasure
afterwards as King Richard the Third said when
ne stabbed rother King in the Tower, afore no
smotheFed the babbies
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

AWFUL REvENGE-@-PREcocIOUs bEPnAv1TE-
Two boys fought out quarrel the other day, and
the bigger proved the hest man, "Darn We" said
- - n = - L. --pI ..IJorf Va
can't lick ye, I'll make mouths at yorr ,ister
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

String BEANs.-A man by the name of Beams
was lately hsng m the North of England.
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

RENARKABLE EANAGRAM.-Pilate's question !,
our Saviour, "What is TRUTH" in the Latin vul-
gate stands thus-Quid est veritasl These letters
transposed make, Estver qui adcst, "It is the men
before thee.'
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29

A nan being invited to go to a cock fight, de-
eiined by saying that he never liked fo,ol play.
We never yet stopped the press for want Of two
lines Of nonsense
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29
ADDREss no SPRING.

FROM the CtncIandtt ttefaueftcttA.
ADDRESS TO SPRING.
8zE A. M'LAUGHI1S,
Queen Of the verdant hil and nowery vale,
The leaf-clad forest, and the balmy gale,
Where dost thou stay 50 lcngl
Queen Of the sylvan bower where jasmine twines,
When rosy morn in soft-eyed spendor shines,
Where is thy Pan-and haIN where is his songl
Oh, tits not heard within this forest glade;
He turns his rural pipe beneath the shade,
Where woodbine wreathes along
Where branching boughs with graceful foliage bend
And plumed chors in varied chorus blend
Strains Of wild melody, to mock his song.
Hope whispers wistfully--"not far away
Yet trembles, fearful ofa long delay
Or e'er thy train is seen;
For frowning winter shows him 10th to go,
And ever and anon, with sleety snow
Obscures thy favorite carpets teeming green.
Haste, gentle Queen, in Eden's pristine bloom,
Sweet harbinger of love and beanty, come,
On the mild west winds borne:
lis time the early lark essays his wings,
And from his yellow plumes the dew-drop AiDgs
To mount the azure sky and wake the morn.
IT'S time the embryo blossom deck'd the trees
With honeyed cups, that tempt the humble bees
Forth to the fragrant vale.
Languish the humming-birds, at early hour
To sip the dewy sweets from flower to flower,
Andsport their tuneful pinions on the gale.
Der hill and dale from nom till noon stray
From noon till eve still wend the may way,
The leafiess trees between:
No purple violet meets my searching eye,
And where the moss crown'd rivulet muFmurs by,
The cowslip, fairy flower, isnot seen.
Nature, for shame! is naked, charming Queen;
She bushes for her robe of velvet green,
And tints of heavenly hue;
Then cast thy mantle round the fair forlorn,
Let vernal blossoms the trembling nymph adOn,
And wreathe her bosom with the pearly dew.
! ct tunefui Pan the sylvan boys advance,
"Knit with the Graces and the Hours in dsnce,''
To lead their Queens bright way
Again the halcyOn days ofjoy shall be,
Loved rural walks, and rural minstrelsy,
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29
THE MUSES. BOWER.
'Much yet remains unsung."

The foIlowings beautiful lines possessing
the true vein of poetry and the imagery
of gorgeous imagination, are from the
young gentleman who gainedthe prize for
the poetic address at the opening of the
Franklin Theatre of N. York. We had
aot hvard of him for a long tme, and are
glad TO see that his genius is gathering
new laurels amidst the 1dch scenery of
the west, teeming with all that is grand
and picturesque in nature,
From the CinciRnati Republican.
The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-04-29
M1SCE1LANEoUs.

-----"Lively and gossipping;
stored with the treasures of the tattling world,
And with spice of mirth too.''
The native American. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1840, 1837-12-30

Scop. (slrprised.) Thou hast brought her
with thee, and suferest her to stand without
nc. Wnhouf, and yet SO near, that with an
ear lndiherently sharp, she need not have lost
syllable OF our conversation. Opening the door.)
ZONE little love, come in! Long have made
NEE walt but what thou hast overheard mean
while may perchance have shortened the time
Clearing off her veil.) See, Scopelus! What
think st thou - poor bnrnt-out yictim-of this
maiden?
Scoop. Eternal gods! Nais!-Nais here.
Nais. flying into his arms.) My life! My
soul!
.4lc. Say yet more-my bridegroom.
Nais. My bridegroom! My chosen one! My
all!
Scoop. (as If waking from a trance.) Ha.
What is this! Thou here in my arms! Whence,
wherefore, earnest thoul Brought hither in the
hand of Alcibiades?-Nais! Whose art thou
now!
Nais. Thine, thine forever!
Scoop. Mine! Ecstatic word, if ii be true
But thy mother forbade me--the rumor-( En-
bracing her.) Why lose myself in doubts!
have thee here! Nais mine? And has remained
my own till now? And will be my own for
ever!
Mas Shame upon thee for the one question!
But a thousand times yes to the other!
.4lc. must break thy trance, and give cohe-
renee to thy dream. Know then! One hour
ago was Nais sold to me; but her heart would
not be sold. 1t was true to thee-and cunning
enough to find out the weak side of mine. With
the demonstrating tones of virtue she confessed
to me her love for thee; implored for mercy, inn
plored for aid. Both promised her; and both
shall she have. Pure as innocence herself,
she came into my hands: as pure do restore her.
If here deliver her forever to thy loves if to her
| keep my pledge Of q dowry, to thee my pledge
of future friendship and protection-are we then
content? Have then fulfilled my obligation?
(smiling.) And wilt thou then, thou quondans
laborlover, shape me after this model a Grace
Of MARBLE since the one Of better material re-
nounce!
Scop Q that every drop Of blood in me were
a tongue, and every tongue had ten mems voice
even then could not
Ale. Enough, enough.-My sweet Nas,
leave thee here, if not in safe hands, at least in
loving ones. Now must hasten to thy mother;
to still her conscience-and to fill her purse.
Soon shall return, and then away with ye-
where ye will have no need of my directions.
The native American. [volume] (Washington City [i.e. Washington, D.C.]) 1837-1840, 1837-12-30

tribute Of merted respect to the literature of Other
lands, We will not do it at the expense Of native
whose works are not read, because he has not the
stamp Of Murray on his title page, or the appro-
baton of a Lakewood on the outside cover Of his
volume We will not carry the war of our prin-
ciples against the shrines Of genius-they are sa.
cred, most peculiarly SO TO our heart, and are
above the changing phases of the political dramas.
Domestic and current intelligence shall be re-
gularly given, in short and agreeable manner.
The proceedings Of Congress will be condens-
ed, and sketches Of speeches and speakers given
during the Session, with lively outline of events
as they transpire at the Seat of Government. In
no instance will party politics be allowed to bias
the editorial pen, but will be treated with i'm
Partially, and opinion with the utmost and most
delicate respect. 4'.'' Sf 5'3
& ftifalss w 9Hia tfa HENRY r. BRENT.