The native American., 1837-12-30
IMPOSTERS ABROAD.
From Blaclctcood's Mogasiae.

inc specimen of this valuable science, though
not new-for what is there new under the sun!
lis unquestionably among its incest practical
applications:
A few days ago, parsonage, Of remarkably
fashionable equipment with prodigious pair of
moustachios, hussar spurs, and quantity of bro
ken English, worthy of foreign attache or colo
mel on the Imperial staff, strobe into one of the
most costly cafes of Regent Street. All the wal
tiers were instantly on the alert, and his excelen-
cy ordered dinner suitable to the magnitude OF
his moustachios and the length Of his spurs. All
was prepared with the elegance of the establish
ment. But his excellency's appetite began to as
tonish the waters still more than his dignity
From eating, he began to devour, and from SIP
ping, to swallow. His favorite wines exhibited
the high life alone which colones of the imperial
staff and attaches TO the hdne ciasSe OF diploma
cy can be presumed to exist. Champagne, bur
gundy. and Johannisberg. vanished flask after
flask, and the astonlShment now was, that his ex-
cellency condesesnied 10 SIT In his char, and did
not give way To thar general law of graviation
which Eays inferior matter under the table. AT
lengtA. after the despatch of desert of grapes,
nscranauss and a noble pine, his excellency made
= uaoaloa with his hand for the bill. His tongue
appears 10 have refused the office. The bill was
brought, and while his excellency cast his eye
over it, sign was given for another bottle of|
Burgundy, and thus prepared, he slowly drew out
his purse. AT this moment, hustle was heard
at the door. Two bailiffs, followed by police
man, rushed in, and pounced upon his excellency.
Nothing could be more embarrassing; the whole
room was thrown into confusion; the warrant
was shown to the waters, the host, and the COM
pany. 1t was for the arrest Of his excellency for
debt of $1,000 sterling! His exeellency's fa-
culties not at hatmoment in the incest state
of discrimination; but the bailiffs and policeman,
while he was recovering, helped themselves to the
Burgundy and the remains of the desert. His ex-
cellency still held his green silk and gold purse in
his hand, with the most honorable intent to pay
But this was palpably against all law, that the
policeman made caption of it 'until he should
be safe in arrest and the bailifs claimed it as
part of their clients property. The host de-
manded that his entertainment should be paid for
on the spot But the ministers Of the law knew
the statute too well for such loose practice, and
they conveyed his excellency, demonstrating
against the baseness of the whole transaction, to
hackney-coach, directing it to drive to White
cross Street, of the fatal retreats for those who
lead life too creditable for this wicked age.
The ruse was, to procure asuperb meal for one
of the party, favor which he had probably earn
ed by some similar skill for his associates, with
erations might be carried against the forks and
spoons Of the cafe. The scheme was hazardous,
SO far as it was practised, where all the parties
might have been recognised; but from Napoleon
to pickpocket, the maxim of war is, nothing
venture, nothing win; and even the Burgundy
and the pine were matters for which men of more
fame in the world have tried ventures graver than
the chance of seven years deportation. The
charms of the table have made more knaves in
high life than any other charms; and Walpole,
and who knew life better than Walpole? pro-
nounced, by his practice, that the first expedientl
of minister, let his purposes be what they might
was to make the stomach the way to the con-
science, melt down patriotism in soups and stews,
and insert champagne into brains otherwise mac
cessible to treason"
Another ruse of still more dashing descrip-
ton has Just transpired. The housewarming ofl
new inn, or some such occasion, gave rise to the
proposal of public dinner, at which the land
lords friends were to assemble to exhibit their
goodwill to the house. The dinner was adver-
tised, the company met, and all was ready but the
chairman. The landlord should, in all etiquette,
have taken the chair; but probably being no ora
tor, he hesitated about the dignity; and, in the
mean time, well-dressed parsonage, who had
Just entered the room and talked loud, proposed
to relieve him from Pen,barras du choir, and as
sumo the head Of the table. AS he looked the
thing, snowy, volatile, and perfectly free from
any doubt Of his own qualifications, he was INSTALL
ed by acclamation. Dinner made its appearance,
and if it did honor to the landlord, the chairman
did honor to it. He ate and drank like the Drag
on of Wantley. All were happy at the good for
tune which had brought them together. The
chairman exerted himself with great effect, made
speeches on every thing and to every one, sang
songs, reused up the latent energies of the com
pany, turned men who had never heard the sound
of their own tongues before into orators, and made
singers on the spot, as much to their own asto-
nishment as to that of their hearers. In the mean
time he exhibited himself mortal enemy to that
heinous sin of long speeches and long songs,
which consists in stopping the bottle But time
stays for no man. The chairman atlength pulled
out his watch, observed on the lateness of the
hour, and dropped hint about dscharging the
bill. Wine, and brandy, and liqueurs, had not
circulated in vain for the last three hours and one
half of the company were in that condition which
is more favorable to falling asleep than keeping
up an argument. The bill was produced, the
waiter was ordered to 'lay the bill on the table,
A song AID an encore partially relieved the low
ness of spirits which generally follows this ope-
ration; and at their close, the active chairman left
the chair, and offered to collect the contribution