The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-12-30


friend why am again thrust without
the pale Of societyl'
The reason is, simply said he, gazing
about to see that no one observed him
speaking to SO prescribed being as 1, 'that
people are not willing to meet on terms of
sociability and equality man who claims
the acquaintance of every loafer, male or fe-
male, he may chance TO meet. At Trinity
Church, last Sunday, you offered your arm
to a chamber-maid; and you were yester-
day observed by party Of ladies in the act
of making profound bow to three of the
most notorious courtezans in town.
Good God = exclaimed I, is it posi-
bic?
These were not the only bad effects OF
my politeness. A great six-foot whisker-
ando charged me with the heinous crime of
insulting his sister, by speaking to her
without the previous fOrmality of an intro
duction and it was with the greatest diff
Guilty that could persuade the fellow to re-
lrain from horse-whipping me-a thing
which he had fully resolved upon, and
which nothing but my humble apologies,
and labored explanations, joined to the en-
treaties of one or two ofmy personal friends,
deferred him from putting into practice.
Happier thought /, 8 far happier, had
been born blind, for then | should at least
have avoided the tissue of blunders into
which hourly stumbled, My life has been
one continued series of getting into scrapes
in the worst way, and getting out of them
the best way could. Why am l coupled
with such destiny am one of the gem
tlest and most inoilensive of mankind, and
yet the sulkiest blackguard about town en-
counters not half the difficulties which fall
to my lot
Such were my musings, as passed down
Broadway-such my rellections-when my
dog-as thought, but alas! it was another's
rushed between my legs, and nearly trip
ped me up. Although naturally, or rather
commonly, good-natured man, was not
at that precise moment, as the reader may
imagine, in my smoothest mood. The cur
rent Of my mind had been agitated by more
than one circumstance that day, and the lit
tie dog rendered me absolutely angry
With an exclamation of wrath, gave this
member of the canine race a kick, which
sent him bowling to the opposite side OF the
street.
Sare, said tall, swarthy, Frenchifed,
looking parsonage, bowing until his mus
taches brushed my nose, You av', by
H-ll kick my dog! What for you 'av'
done dis for, eh!'
My dear Sir, exclaimed !, terribly dis.
composed, Il beg ten thousand pardons.-
l really thought it was my own dog
'Ah, you to'ought it was your dog, chi!
No, sare, it is my little dog dat you 'av
kick =
Sir, am exceedingly sorry lmistooE
him for my own dog. | assure you,
thought it was my own dog, at the time
BY Gar, Sare, dey is not resemblance
dere; de one dog is of de white, and dC
oder dog is of the black color. Beside
Sare, de one 'av' got de ear YER wide, anC
de oder YER short; de one 'av' got de tai
f ver' much, and de oder 'av' lose he tail yer
much =
But, Sir, l am near-sighted my eye'
are impaired could not distinguish be
tween the dogs
= The foreigner looked steadily in my face
, for moment but perceiving nothing ther'
! but truth, his eountenance became calm
' and comparatively pleasant.
/ you 'av', den, Monsieur, de vision no
/ very far, eh!'
l assented.
. 'Ah den dat is all de apology which
demand;' : and, with graceful adieu, h
, passed on.
How fortunate for me- soliliquized /
+ ~. lo ,,,os n Erancbman Had he beeI