Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1837-12-05
a say. we've lie. the fire out It's uneomm0nIy cold

Itreally is" replied Mr. Pickwck shivering.
. IL wouldn't be bad notion to have cigar by the
kitchen fire, would it," said Bob Sawyer, still prompt
ed by the demon aforesaid.
1t would be particularly comfortable, think re-
piled Mr.. Pickwick. Mr.. Pott what do you say"
Mr.. Pou yielded a ready assent and all four travel
lers, each with his glass in his hand, betook
themselves the Kitchen with Sam Weller heading
the procession to show them the way.
The stranger still reading he looked up and
started. Mr. Pott started
Whats the 2" whispered Mr.. Pickwick.
THAT reptile y replied Pott.
"What reptile 2" said Mr.. Pickwck looking about
him for fear he should tread some overgrown black
beetle, or droPsical spider
THAT reptile, whispered Pott, catching Mr.. Pick
wick by the arm and pointing towards the stranger
" That ieptile-Slurk, of the Independent.
Perhaps we had better retire whispered Mr.
Pickwick.
Never, Sir" reoined ott-potvaliant in double
sense never With these words, Mr.. Pott took up
his position opposite settle and selecting from
little bundle OF newspapers began TO read against his
enemy.
Mr.. Pot, of course, read the Independent and Mr.
Surk of course read the Gazette and each gentleman
audiby expressed his contempt Of the others compost
tons by bitter laughs and sarcastic shifts whence they
proceeded to more open expressions Of opinion such as
knavcry,'-" dirt '-t filth, -" slime. -" ditch wa
ter and other critical remarks of the like
Both Mr.. Bob Sawyer and Mr.. Ben Allen had be-
held these symptoms Of rivalry and hatred with de-
gree OF delight, which impaired great additional relish
TO the q CARS at which they pulling most vigorous
~. The moment they began 10 flag, the mischievous
Mr.. Bob Sawyer addressing Slurk with great polite
ness said
"W you allow me to look at your paper, Sir, when
you have quite done with III"
Yeull find very little repay you for your trouble
in this contemplate thing sir" replied Slurk, besow
ing Satanic irown on Pott.
You shall have this presently said Peu looking
up pale with rage and quvering in his speech from the
same cause Ha ha will be amused with this
fellow's audacity."
Terrific emphasis was laid upon thing and fell
low and the faces Of both editors began glow with
defiance.
The rbaldry of this miserable man is despicably
disgusting" said Pott pretending address Bob Saw
yer, and scowling upon Surk.
Here Mr. slurk laughed very heartily, and folding
the paper 10 get at fresh column conveniently,
said that the blockheaa :ealy amused him.
"What impudent blunderer this fellow is" said
Poit turning from pink TO crimson
Did you read any OF this mans foolery Sir r.
enqured Slurk, Of Bob Sawyer.
Never" replied Bob " is livery bad T.
On shocking shocking !" reoined Slurk.
Really dear me, this is too atrocious J! exclaimed
Po thsuncture; still feignng be absorbed in his
reading.
eff you wade through few sentences Of malice,
meanness, ialsehood perjury, treachery, and can't,
said Slurk, handing the paper to Bob you will, per-
haps, be somewhat repaid by laugh at the style of this
ungrammatcal twaddler."
"Whais that you said. Sir T. inquired Pou looking
up, trembling all over with passion.
What's that to YOU Sir z" replied Slurk
"Ungramnatical twadder, was it. Sir z? said Pou
Yes, Sir, it was replied Slurk and blue bore,
Sir. il you like that better ma hal
Mr. Pott retored not word to this jocose insult but
deliberately folding up his copy of the Independent
tlattened carefully down. crushed beneath his boot
spa upon it with great ceremony and flung inn" III"
There, Sir" said Pott retreating from the stove,
and that's the way would serve the viper who pro.
duces it, if not fortunately for him. restrained by
the laws of my country"
Serve him So Sir !" cried slurk starting up
those laws shall never be appealed to by him. Sir in
such case. Serve him So Sir y
Hear! hear y said Bob Sawyer.
"Nothing can be fairer," observed Mr.. Ben Allen.
Serve him SO, Sr!' reiterated Slurk, in a loud
voice
MIR. Pott darted look fcontempt which might have
withered an anchor
Serve him So Sirp reiterated Slurk in a louder
voice than before.
:" will not, Sir !" rejoned Pstt.
"Oh, you won't won't you, Sirr' said Mr.. Surk, in
ainting manner; "you hear this, gentlemen He
wen't; not that he's afraid; oh, no! he ron't. Ha
ha ~
81 consider you, Sir" said Mr. Pott, moved by this
sarcasm Il consider you viper. / look upon, Sir.
you who has placed himself beyond the pale of
society by his audacious dsgraceful, and abomi
nable public conduct. view you, Sir personally or
politically, in other light but as most unparalleled
and aamhgated viper"
The indignant Independent did not wait 10 hear the
end of this personal denuncation for catching up his
carpetbag which was well stuffed with moveables he
swung il in the air Poti tursed away, and letting il
fall with a circular sweep his head just at that par
tcuar angle oil the bag wnere good mick nar-DruSh
happened 10 be packed, caused a sharp crash 70 be
heard throughout the kitchen, and brought him at once
TO the ground.
"Genlemen," cried Mr.. Pickwck, Pott started
up and seized the fire shovel gentlemen. consider for
heavens sake--help-Sam-here-pr gentlemen-
interfere somebody"
Uttering these incoherent EXPLANATIONS, Mr. Pick
wick rushed between the nurated combatants Just in
time TO receive the carpetbag side Of his body
and the fire shovel the other whether the represen.
tatives Of the public feeling of Eatanswil blinded
BY animosy, or being beth acute reasoners, saw the
advantage Of having third party between them bear
all the blows certain it is that they paid not the slightest
attention Mr. Pckwick, but deying each other with
great spirit piled the carpetbag and the ireshove most
fearlessly. Mr.. Pickwick would unquestionably have
suffered severely from his humane interference, f Mr.
Weller attracted by his masters cries, had not rushed
IL the moment and, snatchug up mealsack effect
ualy stopped the conflict by drawing il the head
and shoulders Of the mighty Pott, and claspns him
tight round the elbows
Take away that ere bag frsm tother mailman" said
Sam to Ben Allen and Bob Sawyer who had done
thing bat dodge round the group each with tortoise
shell lancet in his hand, ready to bleed the first
stunned. Give IL up, you wrctched little crcetur, or
I'll smother you in IT,"
Awed by these threats and quite Of breath, the
independent suffered himself TO be disarmed; and Mr.
Weller, removing the extngusher from Pot set him
free with caution
You take yourselves of TO bed quietly" said Sam,
I'll put you both in it, and let you fight IL With
the mouth tied would dozen SIGH, If they played