The herald., 1837-03-30
London SharDers.

gentlemen who, like Shakspeare's Antolycus, are
"Ittered under Mercury" we extract from article
published In the last number of Blackwood's Edn-
burgh Magazine, entitled "Tho world we hive in.
The art Of dining one of the most essential to
regular liver in London-and the following speci-
men OF this valuable science though not new, for
what 10 there under the sun, is unquestlonably
among its incest practical applications.
few days ago parsonage OF ofremarkaby fashion.
able equipment, wh,a Prodlgous pair Of mousachios
hussar spurs, and quantity of broken English wor
thy of foreign attache or colonel on the Imperial
Staff, strobe into one OF the costly cafes OF ke
gent street. All the waters were instantly on the
alert, and his exceency ordered dinner suitable TO
the magnitude of his mousachios and the length OF
his spurs. All was prepared with the elegance OF the
establishment But his excellencys appetite began
20 astonsh the walters still more thal It's dignity
From eating he began to devour and from spping 70
swallow His favorlte wines exhibited the hgh lie
alone which coones of the imperial stall and attaches
to the haaie ciasSe of diplomacy can be presumed to
exist. Champagne, Burgundy, and Johannisberg
vanished flask after flask, and the asoDlshment now
was, that his excellency condescended to sit in his
chair and did not give way to that general law of gra-
vltation which lays inferior matter under the table
At length after tbs despatch of desert of grapes,
nectarnes, and noble pine, his exceency made a
motion with his hand for the bill His tongue appears
have refused the Office The bill was brought and
while his cxcellency cast his eye over it sign
given for another bottle of Burgundy and thus pre-
pared, he slowly drew out his purse. At this mo-
ment hustle was heard at the door. Two balllffs,
followed by Policeman rushed IN and peunced upon
his excellency. Nothing could be more embarrassing
the whole room was thrown into confuslon-the
warrant was shown to the walters, the host and the
company 1t for the arrest OF his excellency for
debt of fl000 sterling. His excelency's faculties
were not at that moment in the incest state OF dscr-
minaton-but the balifs and policeman while he
was recovering, helped themselves to the Burgundy
and the remainder of the desert. His excelency still
held his green silk and gold purse in his hand, with
the most honorable intent to pay. But this was
papably against all the law that the policemen made
caption Off "unt he should be safe in arrest" and
the balllifs claimed II part of their clenrs proper
ty The host demanded that his entertain ent should
he paid for the spot But the ministers Of the law
know the statute well for such loose practice, and
they conveyed his excellency demonstrating against
the baseness Of the whole transaction, to hackney
coach directing it to drive to Whitecross street,
of the fatal retreats for those who lead life
ditable for this wicked age.
The was to procure q superb meal for one OF
the party, favor which he had probably earned by
some similar skill for some of his associates with the
additional object OF ascertalnng how far operations
might be carried against the forks and spoons of the
cafe. The scheme was haza rdous, far II
practsed, where all the parties might nave been recog
nized; bur from Napoleon to pickpocket the maxim
OF war is, nothing venture nothing WIN
Anothere ruse, OF still more dashing description,
has Just transpred. The house warming OF a new inn,
or some such OCCASION gave rise to the proposal of
public dinner, at which the landlords friends were to
assemble TO exhibit their good will to the house. The
dinner was advertised, the company met and all was
etquste, nave taken the chair but probably being
orator. he hesitated about the dignity and, in the
mean time, a well dressed parsonage, who had just
tered the and talked loud, proposed to relieve
him from rembarrass du choir, and assume the head
of the table. As he looked the thing snowy, volatile
and perfectly free from any doubt OF his quali
cations he installed by acclamaton. Dinner
made its appearance, and If did honor 10 the land
lord, the chairman did honor to il. He eat anddrank
Ike the dragon Of Wantley. All were happy at the
good fortune which had brought them together. The
chairman exerted himself with great effect, made
speeches every thing and TO every one, sang
ed up the latent energies Of the company turned men
who had never heard the sound Of their tongues
before into orators, AM made singers on the spot as
much TO thar own astonshment as 10 that OF their
hearers In the meantime he exhibited himself NOR
al enemy 10 that heinous SIN of long speeches and
long songs, which consist IN stopping the bottle But
time sta, for man. The chairman at length pull
ed out his watch observed on the ateness of the hour
and dropping hint about dscharging the bull Wine,
brandy, and iqusrs had not circulated in vain for the
last three hours; and one half OF the company
that condition which IS more favorable To falling
asleep than keeslng up an argument The bill was
produced, the waiter ordered 10 /" lay the bill on the
table" A song and an encore partially relieved the
lowness Of spirits which generally follows this opera
ton and at their close the active chairman left the
chair and offered to collect the contribution for the
day Ii was received and he left the room proceed
10 the bar and settle with the landlord. Some time
having elapsed and the chair being still vacant the
chairman called for he not, forthcoming;
the waters were rung Tor; they knew nothing on tho
subject further than that several gentlemen had sue
cessively left the house The landlord now made his
appearance in considerable trepidation His story
amounted to the simple fact that the gentleman who
had in the chair had gone away about halfa hour
before making most gcntlemanly bow to him and
his wife saying that the dinner answered his
wishes, and desired him TO send up fresh bottle OF
his best port to the company TO drink ms health But
where was the reckoning "No WHERE" far a.
the landlord knew "unlessit were IN the gentlemans
pocket" The gentleman, OF course never reappear-
cd, and the company had TO examine their bill once
more and To pay twice for their dinner receiving
in return the landlords advice not TO be too much in
hurry in the matter ef chairman in future.
still more recent piece Of simplicity one hand
and dextery on the other proves that the ancient
qualities Of the Cocknsys have suffered no deterora
tlon I'm our days Ii is not week since a dashing
figure fresh from the continent all over strings and
rings perfect specimen Of French polish went
into jewellers shop IN OF our leading streets as
well known for the promenade Of the ingenious as the
Rialo for the place "wherc merchants most do con-
cregatc the Campus MartIus for the exercise of fin
gers and faculties in a greater than Rome The ner-
reau arrire addressed hmselfo the ewcllcr and said
that he came to pay slight debt of Els los which
he had contracted for bjoutcrie before hiseaving
town Just ten years ago, but which his going to the
Continent and his absence since, had prevented his
paying The ieweller charmed with such an in
stance Of puncto, and peculiarly IN person into
whose hands it might have been suspected that Jew
elry once having found its way, had little hope Of
Ia .l.,. .wT... \ 10 la lHnL