The Hillsborough recorder. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1820-1879, 1837-06-30

A~N~1AMa ~ SIS M3NM Nv MtfAtA NWEsNFkA~
I'd coxeamhs, as the most unpquiyneal
declaration IL love. They cell Of the
ennquesis they have made, with an air Of
triumph. and never know their mistake
oil they learn il iH that reserve and neg
leet which their conduct 30 richly de-
serves.
3 Neither does an engagement consist
IN any Of those preliminary steps. which
sr :" important IN order to a just eslI-
mate 0f the character and qualifications
Of the person with whom you would be
united Tor life.
Many persons, however, imagine that
every such step Is a commIital While
the individual j. only forming that wise
estimate. and making those judielous in-
Eesiigailons. waIch every one Is bouad 10
make, IN the affair. BY regard To his own
happIness-and that Of Olhers-he is con
sIdered as fairly committed, without the
possibility nf honorable retreat. But this
- all wrong, sheiher il be the sentiment
Of individuals nr public sentiment. The
very object nf his researches is 10 aseeT-
tain Il the character AID qualifications Of
the person are such as will make hin a
happy companion for life. Without such
investigation he might as well commit his
, Interest. ~ Tins matter, to a lady he had
never beheld. Tie might az we'll be be-
lrOIhrd. as hesthen children, by their pa.
rents, withnui his consent II know ledge.
! aud while YET IN a state of infancy. He
might as we'll blinhfold hImself. aud rush
inio great assembly and select COM
psnion at random. Parents must sup.
pose their daughters lIlile else Than an
gels. If they expect to belrolb them in
thIs manner. And II Young ladies are so
, superficial IN character and accomplish.
menIs, a. not Ia admit of such honorable
! and wise scrutiny, they had better give
. up the idea of married life, and become
/ nuns AZ once. Such should be, the SEN
limenls On this subject. that every Young
gentleman should feel himself al liberty
IN make every necessary investigation 81
character. without subjecllng himself "a
the report Of bsing engaged. or Of other
than honorable intentions, If, dissppoInt-
, ed, he sees tiI To retire.
Neither daes an engagement consist
10 the mist unqualified declaration Of lave
IN the part III either the gentleman or la
DIV. THIS may all be, yet no obligation:
are assumed. M contract is formed And
yet there are those who suppose that de
claralIOns Of attachment impose an obi
CATION on their friend which cannot h,
resisted or violated The gentleman
/ whose province il always Is frs. 10 MAKE
such disclosures. considers tina. when HI
has done this. he has secured by RICH
his object. But not so. The lady maj
be holly unprepsred for such an event
Such a disclosure may be made befor'
the has made the necessary inquiries ant
Investigations herself. Such declaration
NAV be made when she had no suspicion
Of an attachment existing, and whilst he
own engagements and circumstances d
not ADM: Of her entertaining such prOpO
sails lnr a moment. II is true, such
disclosure on the part Of gentleman
imposes certain duties on the female
Ii her circumstances are such as TO rende
an engagement impossible, she is boun
by every principle In scquslnt hun immt
dlatcly with the TACT, and keep the ,ransaC
tinn secret lG her circumstances ar
such as to render it proper for her 10 entt
into a matrimonial engagement, it's pre-
per then that she make his proposals
matter ufimmedla,e aud serious considers
ton. Ii she is satisfied with his charat
ter, and enierlalns such an affection *
/ him as will render a union happy, sh
has nothing left TO do but 10 make know
10 him, in a modest aud affecnona
manner. her acceptance of his proposal
But il, after due consideration, inquir.
, and deliberalion. she is conducted 10
contrary conclusion, she should lose I
time in informing him Of the fact, in
+ way least likely TO wound his sensIbi
, ties. or mortify his pride. She will col
, slider il too, both dictate of modesty al
, prudence aud honor, TO disclose Il
circumstance 10 no living being.
Al 5. A matrimonial engagement, the
{. is when the parties, having made musu
\ disclosures of affection for each othe
). in view of such disclosures, bind IheI
G selves, by promises. to become ca
e Others welded companion for life. The
a must be a con.rac, formed, in which I
y parties pledge themselves to each 9th
: Tor life, or there can be no ma.rImon
!. engagement. Nothing short Of this C
be accounted betrothment, and nothl
:, | more is necessary to its perfection.