Iowa news. [volume] (Dubuque, Upper Mississippi Lead Mines, Wisconsin Territory) 1837-1841, 1837-11-18
Lord Byron avs
:. : .i.,s family : a tnis,s thing.

Provided t,ey don't come in after dinner,
and agree with him; especially in the proviso.
At my friend Georges, however, the young family
was introduced With the desert. The eldest, wide
mouthed, roundshouldered girl, took posse ssion of
the better half my chair, where she amused her.
sell the greasorpart Of the evening by picking cher
RES out OF my ate, and splitting the stones into II.
Inc sweet innocent whose sex had csperscd, fill-
led, and well filed, the arms of mamma; and two
greedy, greasy boys stood one on each side of my
worthy host. These contrived TO entertain them-
selves IN vaiety of ways: putting their fingers
in.otl,s preserves; drinking out of their fathers
wine glass; eating till their stomachs were CRANE
med to satety, and believing out brayely for more.
AS variety, we were occasionally treated with
crying scolding, and threats of whipping, which
operation Al once positively expected 70 soc per-
formed IN my presence. At length the lady and
family retired, and, amidst boasting of his hap
pness on Georges part, and fluctuations OH mine
we continued to ply the bottle. Rather to my SUI
prise, found that the por-wine was admitoble,
but poor George, as afterwards learned, had
sent for two Or three bottles from neighboring ta-
vern, for which he had paid an admirable pice.
After emptying the decanters upon the table, l
found that had had enough, and proposed join
ing the interesting group ny stairs In consequence,
of my friend being nothing loath,. consented
that another bottle should be broached. The or
Ger 10 that erect being speedily communicated to
Betty, she met it with the astounding reply, 'there
is no more, SIR Although told my friend that
l was glad fit, and that had drank quite suff-
cient, his chagrin was manifest. lie assured mo
that, although his vine cellar was exhausted, he
had plenty Of spirits and cigars, of which he pro-
posed, that we should Immediately avail ourselves.
To this, however, positively objected, especial
ly as l knew that the ci-devaut jouiney-women
Imilliner considered smoking ungenteel
have but little more to tell YOU; we adjourned
to tea-tabe, where nothing passed worth record
ing The family was again introduced, for the pur-
pose of kissing all around previous to retirement
bed. kiss the gentleman, Amy said the lady
and, Betty wipe her face ffst; how can you take
her TO the gentleman in such o state? Betty hav-
ing performed this very requisite operation, un-
derwent the requisite penance from one and all,
with the heroism of a martyr. Shortly afterward
took leave of my worthy host and hostess, and
experienced heartfelt delight when heard the
door close behind me. l am not in the habit like
Steme, of falling down ON my knees in the streets
or clasping my hands with delight, in crowded
| highway. Still could not help feeling, that few
as were my positive causes of rejoicing, was MOI
devoid of some negative ones; and above all,
fcici,ated myself that was not tho happiest fel.
low in the world that Ihad not married journey
woman miliner, and that Twas not blessed with a
sweet young family my recent experience of the
latter comfort had induced me TO think that King
Hcrod was really not quite so cruel as had con-
| sidered him.