Morning herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1837-1840, 1837-06-17
MORNING HERALD.

neIOTlna l0ms
-I look into the seeds of time,
And say which grain will grow and which VIII not
Shakespeare
The recent movements Of the two great regiou
sects INTO which the Christian world has been divide
since the age of Luther and Calvin, have been nor
important perhaps than any that have happened sine
the council of Constance or that Of Trent.
those early but half civilized days. the Catholics an
Pcotestants met to cut each others throats-to de
nounce each others lves-and to stir up the element
of wars, burnngs, hangings and auto DATES till the
were gorged with blood and satated with plumber
Christianity, in both its grand divisions has yer
much improved Of late-yet there is room for furhe
Improvement. Men returning to the ancient TEN
per and tone-to these apostolic times when beauteou
woman was properly veneraed-when Paul led abou
a sister, wife, without any scandal being generated
thereby.
During the last few weeks a Catholic council has
been held at Baltimore composed Of all the Bishops
p@iriarchs, and pastors of the holy Roman American
Caiolic church, of which am an unworthy but sin
ccre son and nepeu as old "Sam Veller' would call
it. At this council the eloquent and pious Bishop
England was present, together with proxy from
highly respectable old lady with whom our holy
church is afflicted in New York, who is singularly
enough called by mans name, pi-: Bishop Dubois
We have received intelligence of their recent pro-
ccedings from of the Bishops in confidence and
in the same confidence we shall give it 10 the public
Nearly cotemporaneous with this Catholic council,
our old friends, the venerable Presbyterians the very
back bone of Proesanism, also held synod or gene
raj assembly at Philadelphia, at which various SUBJ
Jecis connected with salvation, the devil hell, and
various modes of damnation were discussed and de-
termnsd
One of the most important subjects taken up by our
Protestant brethren, after having snugy quartered
themselves the plous old ladies Of Philadelphia was
certain damnable errors in faith and doctrine which
have crept into the kirk in these latter days 1t ap-
pears that several Presbyterans this State and out
asfar Michigan have been actually living the edge
of damnaiion-w within hearing Of the Niagara of
hel fire, for many months past. The particular
error which has awakened the paterna of the
general assembly, we have ascertained to ota. As
we are mathematical in tastes and love agebrac
brevty to fault, we shall represent the good old
school doctrines of Presbytcanism under the sign Of
"Tweedledum." OF course according to strict phllo
sophical analysis the of the "new school,
"Tweedledes," the end of which is hell and dam
nation.
This explanation of the great differences in the
Presbyterian church is believe sufficiently explicit
for all purposes OF reasoning and researchbeng per-
fecy understood in heaven above the earth below
and in the waters under the earth.
For several weeks the general assembly were en-
gagged in discussing the mysterious differences between
g Tweedledam" and " Tweedledee," and the pecu-
Liar character of the places hereafter to which each
lead The importance of these matters may be esti-
mated by the awful quantity of tobacco used for chew
ing during the eloquent debates-a quantity which is
represented to have been great as to produce rise
in the price, The venerable gentlemen spit and spoke
much that they almost spoiled the inside of whole
church, and set the great city of Philadelphia by the
ears. One good thing however grew out OF the vast
consumption OF tobacco. But for the soothing effect
produced by that heavenly weed, it is generally sup
posed that the two parties of pious Tweededums"
and saintly "Tweedledees" would have come TO
blows. As it the speeches ndoratens record
are patterns Of their kind, and surpass in certain
flowers of rhetoric any Of the great efforts in Congress
or the Five Points
The result Of these discussions in the assembly was
highly fortunate. Such a quantity Of holy tobacco
was not chewed for nothing-so much pous black
guardism, sufficient TO supply half the religious papers
IN the country for year TO come was not wasted
without purpose. BY large and tremendous vote
tho Reverend "Twcedledums" put down the Revc-
rend "Twccdledees" for ever. The latter met indeed
in Blocker street church few evenings ago, and
tried 10 raise from the dirt the "Tweedledees" but
il would not do. Hereafter their portion is hell fire
beyond question
Thus stand our Protestant brethren. Now turn we
TO our Holy Roman Catholic American Mother
Church What has she been about?
Being Catholic ourself, we are happy to find that
the good old church yet maintains her ground for sa
gacity and good sense. Afior putting in nomination
three names for the Bishop of New York, to be sent
10 Rome for the sanction of the Pope the Catholic
Council of Baltimore entered into learned discussion
the age which the female housekeepers Of priests
and bishops should be in this country. BY the holy
canon law, the Catholic clergy enjoned not to
have any pretty female hoasekeepers under forty five
years OF age. The peculiar quality Of the American
atmosphere causes this law to singulary hard
and oppressive. Man loves beauicous and adorable
woman ten times more afiectionatey and tendery on
this continent than the old. | know this fact in
my person, for the sentiment Of love is growing
by a geomorcal ratio every year ! add to my life
Can the Catholic clergy resist the influences Of eli
mattel Ought they TO do III Certainly not
Feeling the full effects Of this tender sentiment,
pure as the first dawn Of creation, and holy the