The Columbia Democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1837-1850, 1837-06-03
N lumber 6.
A PEEP MIRO FUTURITY.

relief from its shadows by far-reaching
glance at the Future. A writer in the Co.
lumbia rs. g. Telescope gives the follow
ing presumptiye extracts from Journal of
the year 4,2OO:
Observation-Disclosures are now
brought to such perfection, that last night
we distinctly saw fight between a grass
hopper and a spider, in the planet Saturn.
The battle was a tough one-the grasshop.
per losing two legs, and the spider three
claws and five teeth in the contest
7raUeIling.- Perkins has invented
a compound which he calls the 'concentra-
ted essence ofthe sublimated spirit of steam
A person has only to put little vial of it
into his pocket, and it will carry him along.
at the rate of fifty miles an hour; or by
merely swallowing three drops when you
go to bed at night, in the morning you will
wake up in any part of the world you
choose.'
Noutical.-'Shipa to go under water in
stead of on its surface, are now brought to
perfection, so that henceforth such things as
storms and shipwrecks are no more to be
dreaded.
MsdicoI.-'The wonderful medicine cal
led the sublime ehTir,' is producing most
astonishing effects. A Mr.. Jones, of Vir-
ginia, walking into a mill, and incautiously
approaching too near the machinery, was
caught between the wheels and crushed in
to ten thousand atoms; two drops ofthe e.
lixir being poured into the pond above, he
was instantly seen walking out at the door,
as sound as a roach, and has not been with
in three miles Of mill since. A Mr..
? Smith had his head shot off by cannon
ball; three weeks after he was dead and bu-
ried, his 32d cousin happening to hear of
the elixir, he was Immediately restored to
+ perfect life and health
GeOgraphical.-The discovery ship, the
7 'W'hite Bear returned yesterday from the
. northern seas; she safely reached the exact
spot of the north pole, but there she stuck,
held fast by the magnetic attraction. Her
crew found it impossible to get away until
they had thrown overheard every particle
] ofiron in the vessel
4gricultiual.-'The Philosophical So
ciety having discovered method of produ-
cling or putting off rain just as there may
f be occasion, for the future our cotton and
cabbages will never be ruined by dry sea-
SON.
,, Mechanics famous architect Mr.:
Axiom, who first discovered the perpetual
motion, is now erecting machine nearthe
north pole, upon the plan of Archimedes,
for the purpose of showing the world twen-
ty-three degrees back to its original posi-
ton, and thus restoring perpetual summer
F0reign-'The weekly balloon packet
arrived from the moon yesterday. No par
ticular news there, except that green cheese
is in great demand. On its return they in
tercepted the wits of thirty-one poets and
one hundred and ninety-three lovers, and
brought them all back, stopped up together
in glass vial
IN68t Wondeym Of all Discoveries
THE great secret the philosophers stone
+ the elixir vitae, so anxiously wished for,
so long sought after, is at length found out!
The learned alchymist, DR.. Alembic, has
invented compound which turns all things
into gold, and bestows perpetual youth!
We are forbidden to say much about this
= wonderful discoveryi it was only completed
? yesterday, and this morning the doctors
wife, an ugly old woman of seventy; was
seen transformed into a beautiful girl Of
/ eighteen! A little child, hardly able to
crawl, was also seen in the house, and no.
body could tell where it came from until
at last it was found out to be the doctors
grandmother, who had got at the vial and
taken rather too large dose, Besides
changing, as above stated, lead into gold,
age into youth, and ugliness into beauty, it
t also turns rascaIs into honest men, water
: into champagne, sand into ice creams, and