Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1837-08-04
Iron the Boston Courier.l


ter intended none. Ifany one eau read IT
without laughing, he must be less cool and
complacent than the true disciple Of The
cold water system -
CELEBRATION EXTRAORDINARY.
Tuesday, the 4,h instant, the glorious
anniversary o. our independence, was rem
dercd still more glorious by grand lcs-
tlval OF the MARCH OF INTELLECT STAR.
vATIoN Society who met at the Mulbury
Houes, which has been recently fitted up
for the accommodation of boarders in supc
riot starvation style. The larder has been
abolished, and all the arrangements have
been mndc on the principle of totai dbSh-
hence FROM ccery thing nat cnn lie hard
in The stomach. The friends OF starva' ion
were al prestD, and dinner was served up
in appropriate style. 1t consisted Of leg
Of nothing and no tnrnips; malt peck OF
guucd oysters padding bag proved to
be excellent by eating the string. the ghost
of ,om.cod and bottle Of moonehnc the
whole finished off with u splendid dessert
of tooth picks. The dinner was attended
nv The Hon. Mcssrs. Noodle, Doodle and
Poodle. Uumm, Fun and Bumm. Wther.
shlns. FIyawav. puG, Cobweb, bubble and
babble. - all OF whom we've Presidents aud
Vcc-Prcsidcn's The cheer was excel
lent; Vice. President FIyaway did the car
wing, and all the guests were allowed to
help themselves OF every dish except the
ghost of the tom cod, which was carried
round to be smell at. After the cloth was
removed, a number of 'oass were drank
from empty glasses, specially 'ced for the
occasion and such was the remarkable
temperance Of the drinkers. That no acct
dent happened in the course of the conv-
vIal,y, except 10 about n dozen old gentle
men, who KEEP, their noses sticking IN their
glasses because they smc, OF cold water.
The speeches. of course, were excellent
bn, owing TO the great excitement and
hiarilv which prevailed, our informant
could no, understand above half Of what he
beard we learn they are all to be repor-
ted at length IN Ny Grandmother Gazette
Until then the public must be satisfied
with tho following sketch:
Mr.. Noodle congta ula'cd the friends OF
starvation on their attendance at this elem
ten entertainment" He hoped the work
would go ahead" The business of eating
and drinking must be pn' a stop to, or we
are a ruined nation: he had been telling
the world so for fifteen years, but 1t grley2d
him to say, they had continued to wag
their Jaws in spite of him. Bat notw'h-
standing. he was determined to persevere:
people mn, be comped To sign the starv,
alton pledge: was not tins n free country
and haven't we right 10 denounce and
brand every ore who refuses to pledge
himself to s'arvatlon' Certainly we had.
[Cheers
Mr. Doodle heartily concnrred in the
sentiments Of his friend Noodle. " Starv"
alton forever" was his motto. Nothing
gave him so much satisfaction as the rapid
propagation Of starvation principles at the
present dav The world had been going
wrong for five thousand years and more.
or rather it was made wrong in the trst
place there was no doub' Of the fact
Teeth ought to be- made inr grInning and
not for eating. Our pilgrim torea,hers.
who never lived out half their days. used
10 dine on "potatoes and point :" he was
happy to see that on the present occasion
we had improved upon this and served np
the "poirt," without the potatoes I'm
.aenSe cheering Mr. Fun had no thought
of speaking originally, bit his heart was so
full. (no, his s,omach.) that ne could not
restrain himself. Whet a glorions spec,a
Gle was he present The whole history
&C mankind could not show parallel to it.
Neither the seven'y-fvc spirits nor the
spirits Of seventy five, nor the Seven Mac
,cabees the Seven Champions of CbriNcn-
dom, the Seven Sleepers. the Seven Won
,lrrs Of The World, nor the Seven Thou
sand Virgins were worthy TO be mentioned
N the same day with members oflhc March
Of Intellect Starvation Society. Great APP
piause
Having said this one word more, and he
would have done. There were glorious
news for The friends Of starvation. lie
had It from the best authority. that two OF
the Boston Aldermen had grown three
slx,een'hs Of an inch smaller round the
wal>, since last Christmas Tremendou'
cheering, nhich tasted Sererat minutes -
He hoped to see the day when the whole
corporation night be trussed into an eel
skin.
Mr.. iiumm begged moments lndul-
gcucc while he offered a few items Of in
formation that would make empty bowel,
vlbrare with Joy. He has the honor OF be
ny Corresponding Secretary otthe Marcl
of Intellect Starvation society, and 1t wa
with the greatest Joy he assured them tina
the prospects Of starvation never wee
more cheering. He was glad to see tina
bottle Of moonshlne had wonderfully IN
creased Of late. There was nothing hk,
moooShne now days it was better tina,
meat, drink ard pantaoons. He knev
hundred, Of men, who, with zeal for III
rau-c of starvation above all praise, ha
sold their houses IN Boston to buy moon
shine IN the state Of Maine: the wester
country, and elsewhere. All the worl
had gone mad after moorshne! Fund on