Iowa news. [volume] (Dubuque, Upper Mississippi Lead Mines, Wisconsin Territory) 1837-1841, 1837-12-16
THE GENUS BORE,
--sOh, he's as tedious


Worse than smoky house / had rather live
With cheese and garlic, in windmill, far,
Than feed on cakes, and have him talk 10 me,
In any sumner house in Christendom.'
i The good and the bad things Of earth
are strangely mingled together, and
Iyou cannot have either separately ~.
Agreeable friends are blessings, but
one cannot form acquaintance, with
out contracting some sort of alliances
with those who are especially disagree
able. For what purpose bores were
created, it would be difficult to deter
mine; perhaps to teach US patience and
forbcarance. It certainly requires as
much patience to remain cool under
the infections Of dullness, as for any
thing else in life; and to be able to for
bear when you feel tempted to kick
stupidity out Of your presence, is a
virtue indeed.
There are two leading classes Of
bores-the garrulous and taciturn.-
Heaven help you when you are vic
timized by one Of the first! He DEL
uges you with words. He inflicts all
the scandal and news upon you, while
you look like Resignation hugging Al
whipping post. You feel irrated a.
while, and then sick. He has tongue
enough for both, and only requires that
you resolve yourself into a horrible
deformity, by becoming ali ear. You
cape, and show symptoms of sleep
He does not care; you may sleep, or
dislocate your jaws, as you please
He is one of the emissaries Of fate,
sent on earth to punish, and he means
to fulfil the purpose of his destiny
There is no getting clear of his noise;
and you may as well be as complacent
as you can, and regard his tongue as
The scourge that inflicts chastisement|
for past sin.
Again, the taciturn bore drops into
your presence. You talk first on one
subject and then on some other; butin-
stead Of showing interest, he looks as
# his leaden eyelid would fall in spite
IF your efforts. You think the fellow
fool, and can scarcely resist the pro-
Density to enlighten him SO. You look
things at him; but you
cannot stir him up. Your heart sinks
within you, and for a moment you
ook the model Of statue of despair.
You ask him to read the morning pa
ger, but he is tired to death of politics.
You offer him book, he fumbles it
istlessly for a moment, and puts it
Town. Your agony becomes excruti-
ting; your friend like the impersona-
ion of the nightmare, and he chngs to
you as the old man of the sea clung to !
sinbad-
The present is the age Of bores.-
No skill can avoid them. Like the
enemy Of your SOULS salvation, they
90 about seeking whose peace they
may destroy. They infest every So
ciety, and their name is Legion. If
you were to seek cave in some far
of mountain, they would find you out;
Or it, in despair, you should drown
yourself in the sea, the ghost Of some
bore would be sure to rise with yours
from the waters, and torture your shade
On it way to kingdom come Whe-
Their you sit down, lie down, read,
write, or reflect, you must be annoyed
by the presentment of bores and COM
ing evils. Your apprehensions are
ceaseIess, and you momentarily expect
Inc Phillistines will be upon you
fhlllistines who WELD the weapon
which was fatal to their ancestors oil
Did. Knickerbocker.
When we devote a moments leisure
from the duties Of our Office, and be-
take ourselves to strole over our town