Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1837-07-19

FANNY FoRREsTER, is the title of a
little production lately published a,
Philadelphia. 1t is the commencement
OF series of tales which the author
proposes to lay before the public under
the title of "Agrarian Stories" in,en.
ded to illustrate the evils of Agrarian.
ism and lnfidelity. The extract below
IS sample of his style of reasoning.
Jerry had sent out for peck Of
oysters and a quart Of gin. He had
hooked as many oysters as would hold
together upon his fork, and was hold.
ing forth with his tumbler of gin in his
left hand !: !" I'll tell you what," said he,
"a most every things monopoly now.
a.days everything's got Incorporated.
they'll incorporate a man and his wife
up I Albany aiore long, you see if
they don't. One man saws a piece of
Gods earth that belongs to us all in
common, as every body knows, is his'n.
You ask him how so, and he goes and
ietches out bit of something that's
made OF old rags, or sheepskin-there.
says he, ye're satisfied now y as he
pokes it under your nose. If "a body
wants 10 raise few vegetables on this
here bit o. land, and ventures to dig il
up, out comes the old sheepskin like a
pocket pistol. Ifa man goes ON it on.
~ to take few bushels of apples-out
comes the sheepskin. What's all this
but a cursed monopoly Here's a
stronger case by all odds my child or
my wife wants little milk for supper;
there goes u COW. God made her
lie didn't make her for one man moro
than for another. So takes my pail
and goes out to milk her, but scarce.
~ gets fairly to work with my pail be.
tween my knees, afore out runs a fel
low, full of fire aud fury, and cries,
you, sir, are milking my cow SAYS
|, what lfi'the name o nature makes
her your COW? He runs into his house
and fetches out bit o. paper, and holds
1t afore my eyes, and while Pm looking
at his bit o. paper, the COW walks off,
and so loses my mik-and that's an.
other monopoly. The worst on is the
courts wants raal reforming, and
they'll get it yet; these courts, and
pack o rascally judges, bribcd every
one o. 'em, upholds this ridiculous
sheepskin and bit o. paper system--so
you see how the rich grinds the poor
to death. That's what makes bread
stuffs go up. We shall come at last
to absolute starvation" said he and
as he closed his harangue, Jerry pitch
ched his fork full of fine oysters into
his mouth, and washed them down with
half tumbler of Hollands. This is
an imperfect sample of Jenny Picket's
style of domestic eloquence. When
upon table or tub, before a public
assembly, without any restraint upon
his extreinties, his eloquence was said
to be of far more exciting character.
When they retired to their cham.
Der, Fanny expressed her dislike to
these strange doctrines, and her disgust
at the profane and violent manner in
which they had been advanced. THAT
is owing said her husband, to your
being brought up in such a puritani.
cal manner when you have seen
little more of the world you'll under
stand these things better Fanny told
him, even then, that she did not be-
lieve he would do as well in New York
as if he had remained in Philadelphia,
where he could be sure Of the. good
will of such persons as Friend Allison,
and Friend Croker, who had been a.
mong his most constant employers
A couple of old monopolizing rascals'
said he; they'll have not drop more
ofthe sweat ofmy brow 'Why, John
said she, shocked by his ingratitude,
you used to say they were the best
friends you had, and were singing their
praise from morning to night Yes,
to be sure, he replied, 'when knew
no better, but I'm not the poor fool
used to be. The property those old
fellows have got out Of me, if equitably
divided, would give us a pretty living,
and could throw my trowell over the
wall, and walk about at my leisure.'-
Fanny said no more, but thought she
saw the distant, underlined outlines of
approaching misery and ruin.