Southern telegraph., 1837-12-12
From Blnckwootls Magazine.

The Irish blunler is suiycnsris. and /,
IS not only Ola class by l.cf, hut il is of 4,
best class. 1t always puzzles, which mere
circumstances does not; rbut it always anus.
es ny ITS oJd'ty, lis novelty, an1 its humsr.
: vi THIS order was the exclamation Of thu
irish gentleman who On getting ,ea-pouad
prszc less than tho money l,e !ssl paid far
IT, cried ont "What luck it was .hu did not
get the L.2O,000: 4 must have been en-
tircly ruincd!n 35.s, ss,.s.g.- ! {,
An orator in the Irish gIouse. Of Com.
mons was describing the inord.U,te love Of
praise which characterised an opponent.
The honorable Mem! or, "said he, is so fond
OF beng praised, that really believe he
would be c'mtent to give tip the ghost, if it
were but to look up and read the sione-cut-,
tors puff "n his grave a .sa ~4st
Contempt of Moneys was tho expression
ut another. The honorable member profess
scs to play the philosopher. can assure
You, MIR Speaker, that ii there is any one
"iiice that Cutters ia the owes of the honora-
bic menber It is that Of pursc-bcarcr;a pen.
sion TO him is a compendium 81 all the car
dnai virtues. All his staie,anship is COM
pretended ln the art Of taxing; aud for
good, better, and best, in the SC ile of human
nature, lie invariably reads pence. shi!-
nSs and pounds. | verify believe"
exclaimed the orator, rising to the very
height OF his conception, shat IL the hnnora.
able gentleman were an undertaken il
would be The delight Of bIs heart 3, see all
IN nk.nd seized with a common mortality,
that he might have the benefit OF the gener-
al burial, and provide scaris aud hat
bands for the survivors,
| The answer of one of the officers of the
! British brigade 10 tho French King after an
action, Was long a source of amusement in
France, and is still on record rs an instance
of the pregnant brusquerie of the SONS Of ST.
Patrick. The King, por:ioning at his roy
al praise, observed that one Of The regiments
had behaved with great gallantry, 'as WAS
evident from the number of its wounded,
Yes, yonr Majesty,' said the impatient and
gallant NJ lnr, jealous for the honor Of bis
own battalion, they behaved well; Lut I
may take leave to say, re behaved better;
hey nigh: have many wuInIed and no
blame. TO them, bat 'cs uere all killed.
This talent goes through all ranks. We
remember to have heard "a woman who was
scolding her brats tor some pranks, ex.
claim, well, You two li,ue william. a, if I
canf make nothing of YOU. as sure rs iiva
4 1 viii toll both s1nmr fJthcrS. la
!. sMy Lord said fellow condemned to
be hanged for sheep-steallng, salI ask Of
your Lordshp is, that shalt not be hanged
on a Friday, 'Why?' asked the judge in
surprise. sDecause,' was the answer, 1T is
Railways counted mighty aalucky day'
sNever be critical upon the ladies' was
, the maxim of an old lrsih poet, remarkable
, for his homage to the sex; 'tbe only way in
the world hat a true gentleman viii attempt
to look at the faults OF a pretty woman Is to
: shat his eyes,
On the late importation Of the colored
| aud figured French night caps, an irlsa
B.ronet, who made purchase of haif-a.
dozen of different patterns in Bond street
was asked, 'Whhat he meant to do with SO
; many?' sWhv sure, wear them all till see
, which | like best sWhat! in the dark =
; sNo; | sleep with light in the room.' But
f how docs that clear up the matter; If you
D are once asleep? 'Oh. the clearest thing
in the world. From my cradle | had u
, habit of sleeping with my eyes OPEN
/ SIS there any ford here?' asked an Eng
), fish tourist who cume suddenly to . foil stop
before one OF the little mountain torrents 81
the west of Ireland-'Oh, to be sure, your
: hon ,r, there was ford said a peasant
standing ut the brink, and making hum
, dred grimaccs Of civiIitv.-sWhen was NJ
said the tourist Before the bridge was
built said the peasant, shut when man aud
horse went over the bridge, the lord got
loat Of the habit.'lsWelI, now tht the
! bridge is broken down, suppose the. ford
: may have got into the habit again. Us il
: safe g-sTo be sure, your honnr, all but the
! middle, but that is nothing; and j! yos caa
/ s,rim, there is not better ford Ia the coun-
). try but l cannot swim. Then, your
:. honor, the only safe way that know Of Is,
: as soon as,you get out Vt your depth 70 scotk
= back cgain.' -
! sif We 20 to law said . wealthy land
4 holder to his tenant, swe go into Caanccry,
;, and ont Of Chanccry neither Of us will ever
: get till we get into our graves am u
> Tho same opinion; want to get into ncilht
!. The one or the other; SD 'etus gs' to refer.
J; ee,' said the tenant; sand if the reference
= does not satisfy US, let tue natter be settled
! as usual, Ivy an umaire.-'Wsil. ie it SO
i hut on this condition. said the m,n al
: wealth, sthat, ii he canplt make a decisioii
:, VIC shall have umpires on both siacs.'
sn = = - 8.
n Eilial duty pushed as far as 4 srau 60
,di We heard an anecdote related If in old gen
cr llelnan, the other day, which is amusing
I'd He was an absolute old codgess and bcliev
IL ed in the efficacy IL the rod u regulate tn
e. way ward soings Of his boys. He thought
necessary on one occasion tn chas,isc on
4 IL al. ~