The herald., 1837-04-26
Courting ana Cow-hiding.

Oh, woman, woman how much hast thou 10 an
swer for! How many cities sacked, and soldiers
slain! How many empires lost and fortunes raned!
How many broken hea rts and broken hcads-broKen
vows and brokea wndows For Eve-the hrs1, ana
prettiest, and best W oman God ever made-Father
Adam lost Immortality, and Paradise, and most
beautiful garden. For Helen, Paris lost Troy-the
commercial emporium of the eastern world-the NE"
York of Asia Minor For Cleopatra Mark Antony
lost the empire of the world And-but we mlgh' go
on for ever to enumerate the instances Of the disas
trous fascinaons of fairy forms, and brilliant eyes
and ruby lips and rosy Kisses and thriilhe 'ones'
and pr y feet and ancles and all those sor' oi ae
dightfh things-whch alas, rain US poor deiaded
men, and get us into scrapes ana rowS-aiiu cause
our homes and credit to be broken, and put Oar con-
o;anoo ;r,e morals noses and regulations, out of
lolnt ,c-, -:
,d,o-,nd the women Heaven bless their bright
eves are sad wicked DEAR delightful creatures, and
make m are Isschief than all the banks, spectators,
failures, monopoisrs, veoes, and humbugs pat toge-
ther.
Well, WELL there 5 no help for it; and If men nave
prstty wives and other men will carry on intrigacs,
and behave naughty, and pretty women will encou-
~ass them and ungaant husbands will intercept let
ters, and lay plots, and break lovers heads-why
what can we do but make the most of 1t, and IN our
own original nimitable and unapproachable style,
er, IN these little delightful incidents for the amuse-
merit Of our readers
Mr.. ID. was going home to dinner the other day to
his house in p square, congratulang h'msef en-
having an excellent appetite and the prospect OF d-
ming off dish of sAad in socable way, with ms
netty wife, and large family of boarders.
Apropos-what right has man to keep board
mo house who has pretty wife, and is inclined TO be
ieaous. We have theory that he ought in the first
n,ace. to be bound over to keep the peace.
AS we were saying Mr.. ID. was coming home to
dinner. when he found suspicious looking boy
standno suspiciously on his door step, with susp-
cious looking billet susplcously directed to his WIFE,
His suspcions were aroused and he like fool, took
the letter-and like an ungallant wretch, opened 1t
and like cunning man, copied lt-and like a deceit
6ul man, sealed it up, and sent It per dnechon-and,
like hard hearted man, went home and asked hls
dear innocent unsuspccting wife, what letter she
had received. She, like a-a-woman, denied having
received any, whsn he like cruel jealous husband,
read the following:
"Dearest.--If you have any compassion on
ore who is wholly and dcyotedy yours, meet me this
evening al half past seven at Mrs. IS, - street.
/ am diving to see you. Ii is an age since my eyes
feas,cd ON your loveness and drank in rapture from
those bright ounts Of beauty, that sparkle, like twin
st.rs in the armament Each minute will be no ur
tIl taste the sweetness of those ruby lips and prove
rnyselG as now subscribe, your devoted lover.
Here was pretty poetlcal situation. The lady
hurst into tcars--fe into hysterics-an threatened
10 out an end to her wretched existence by throwing
herself into the river.
One would suppose that Mr.. ID. he'd done mischief
enough for one day, but he was not content. He
went 10 his store dressed himself hike porter-went
% the place of assignation armed with ferocious
cowhide In the meantime gallant had dressed
hinself-recurled and perfumed his beautiful blask
whsSers-what xii ing things whskers are left his
desk IN William street, and at the time appointed-a
few minutes before, perhaps-Mr. ID. saw him ap-
proach.
"Do YOU know Mrs. d." said the husband.
have the honor" replied the lover.
81 am sent to request your company at her house."
90 then that fool, her husband, is out Of the
way." But this was said aside.
How shall we describe the catastrophe How
ahall we tell how the unsuspecting lover was en-
,rapoed into the house-and how he got one Of the
most savage horsewhppings discovered gallant
ever rcceved-and how he compelled to deliver
up one of the most tender-and most delightfully."-
Alnny Of all intriguing conespondences-ful of "de-
ightful kisses''-and "pulng whiskcrs 7''-and-
and--the rest mus, be imagined.
o.ruA.r.-Departed this life after temporary
T.. .l.mz.l