Maumee express. [volume] (Maumee City, Ohio) 1837-1838, 1837-06-10

edts WnaI q country Wu0t SuttCt4s
and what liquor 4 have only taken
nine swallows Of whiskey and with that
and the premature old age, ! verify be-
Heve that am assassinated--rm gone
chicken
Mr.. Morvyn now clamored SO loudly
that assistance soon came. s
Silence there what's the matter
Matter yourself-I'm being done, or,
as some people say, Pm doing. The
march Of mind has tripped, and Richard
Mervynis too deep for himself Help
me out-gently--there. Anti in avery
beautiful pickle? This is whatlthe doc
tors would call guttd serena, isn'tit7
when was at school, the boys wo'd
have called you gutteral.'
They would not have known much
grammar, if they did. I'm liquid, see me
drip
'Oh, no r said the watch, don't try to
be funny l know you well enough,
now you've wiped your face. You're
the chap that locked me in my box once,
and when I burst open the door, you
knocked me heels over head, and then
legged it,
sThat's me. I'm the man that did
that thing. How do you like the ups
and downs of public life Isn't variety
charmingp
'If:it wasn't that I am public func-
ionary, and mustn't give way to my tenn
per, Id crack your coca, and ease my
mind by doing as | was done by. Ill
make an example Of you, however,
You're my prisoner. HaAy cossha 10
the watch us, That's the Dutch for be-
ing tuck up
We'll give us your arm. Don be a.
fraid of the mud. Gutter mud is very
wholesome. Look at the pigs how fat
it makes 'em, and if youlike fat pork, why
shouldn't you like what makes pork
fat! So--so-steady. Now I'll tell
you all about tother night. | was pas
sing your box in a friendly, promiscuous
sort Of way, thought you were asleep
or had run down, and / turned the key
to wind you up. lfa watch amt wound
up, it can neither 60 nor keep good
timer
We'll what else?'
'Wby then | watched the box, and
wher YOU came out, | boxed the watch.
That's I'll. 1t grew out of my obliging
disposition ~
'Ha very obliging. Now it's my
turn to wind you up, and to do it in the
same way. I'll take you before the
watch maker tobe cleaned and regulat-
ed. You go too fast, but he'll put spoke
in your wheel; he'll set you by the state
house, and make you keep good tine
why, watchy, you're wag. Why
don't you say that | was horizontal,
and that you lifted me like a patent le-
yer! You're wide awake now; bnt that
night you wern't up to traps, or you
would have caught me. caught a
weasel asleep that time--I put fresh salt
on you once
To add another to his vagaries Mer.
vyn now refused to walk any further, &c
setting down on step, loudly avowed
his resolution, declaring that his name
was not Walker.
Whether your name is Walker or
not, you must CO. 81
Not without go-cart--you can't
force me to go-Pm legal tender, and
you must take me. Hav'nt got an Of
flee, or at least public situation, here
on the steps, Mr.. Charley iii must 90,
it shall be on the Yankee principle of ;ro-
tation--bring me wheel-barrow. Re-
form me out regularly
Persuasion being useless, the officer
procured assistance, and wheel barrow,
in which Mervyn was placed. Away
they went.
so we co. said Mervyn, 'Charleys
making barrow-night of me. Gently
over the stones. don't like bumpers,
except off porter. This is the way to
Wheeling, hurra! cart before the horse
When arrived at the watch house
Mervyn insisted upon being wheeled up
stairs, and tyled the place barro,0-nial
castle.
Pm a modest man. said he,and no stair
er, If can't have ride up think my
self entitled TO draw back
So saying he attempted to escape but
not being SO nimble with his feet as with
his tongue, he was soon caught and lug
ged back, being as he said, like a gold
smiths work, beautiful chased. Willing
hands make short work, and in conse-
quence Of the unsavory punster, was
soon carried up aloh and next morning,
sober and lpenitenk. paid his tipsy
fine and his carriage hire, with doleful
visage.
From the Star oflast week we learn