Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1837-10-09

way Of explanation, that the country, wrecked
in wild sea of experiments, is intended by the
wreck VI the Two Poes-thattheg government
is personifed in Uncle Sam, whose first wife
was the U S Bank and whvse last wives were
the pct banks.
Nigh he wreck Of The Tro Poliies,
RocKAwAY, l.. l., Sept. l6, 1887.
To the editors oCthe NJ Y. Daily Express
got one of your papers in which you print
ed my last letter to "Unclo SAM" and when
readin on'i, il was fortunate for you that you
was 20 miles off, for never did sec SIGH tar
nal work as you made Of some parts oil my let
Ter. However, all I've got TO say about it s,
If folks who read my letters in print, find any
thing in 'em that don't read smooth, and amt
correct as to dates and facts, they may set it
down agin the printers. Ii was jest so with
young Doctor, friend of mine, in the Colary
lines. He writ long letter once, about how
he cured folks by giving Calomel,-he writ
"Calomel in doses very minute ,"-and the
printers put it in print "Caomel in doses every
minuie." Up went Calomel among the Poth-
ecarys- and do,on went the poor sick folks
l. warnt the Docto RS lault,-for twas all ow-
in 10 the printers, and a little &C."
Now aiore | trust you with other matters,
I'll give you the printn of story I've got to
tell, and you may stick as many E's and O's
and rs into it as you please, and don't care
what you make ont so long as folks take the
mother lcit and barn ont. 1t is n story about
"Uncle SAM" and some Of his capers among
the women folks.
Uncle SAM you know, always was a socia-
Die kind OF crittnr, and from his first comm into
life, never could Git along well without havin
his hull family about him. all on ZEN givin him
a hpogf n "a tho trna buf tITncla Go,,i fonpb
as most folks do, afore they git gray, that I'M
less he took wife to take care Of his buttons
and keep things slick'd up about hongo-he
would git into trouble and 80 forth Well, az
Ter tiyln various plans and secin good deal
Of trouble one way and another, he took ad-
vice some twenty years ago, and got married
to smooth quiet quaker Lady, worth IS mill
ions OF doliars-and as Uncle Sam was con-
siderable liberal in his way, he pnt into the
family stock millions of dollars; mot in the
'raie grit howsever, but what he said then was
just as good as 'grit,O and so together they
had 80 miilons. Well, IS millions was no
trlile, and things went on smooth and slick for
nigh upon 90 years, and every body said at
home and abroad, there never was happier
couple. Uncle Sans wife did all a wife could
do, and tho Uneie Sam would once and
while, sweH up and talk big, his wife said moth
Ia, but kept stichn up his brooches when he'd
split 'em, and sew on buttons when be twich'G
'em of But by and by Uncle Sam got mixin
up with odd company, and among other things
got kink in his head ont OF Fanny Wright's
doctrines, that a man of so much importance
hadn't ought 10 stick to one wife, but have as
many as the great .MOgR. 4 swow,' says I'm.
Gle Sam, I'm good mind to try it = and so
he talked to other folks about it, and 10 rights
the gals got the notion too and then Uncle
Sam got one Amos kindle TO 60 round and
sound about, and see if the gals would stand
the racket,-and he come back, and says he,
Uncle Sam, there's no mistake about il the
gals are all ready, and more than you can
shake stick at;'-and sure enough, just
then the gals all havin got the notion, set to-
they praised up Uncle SAM and abused bis
good cd quaker wife-O shocking there's no
tein what they didn't say; and among other
things they said, that Uncle SANS Wife was
-*--+-- II YOU don't say
! so and ---*---m marcy on us -
! Well, the next thing we see Of Uncle Sam
was, he look d as fine as iddlc-ruifles round
both eends Of his shirt, and SIGH a capern as
he cut among his new wives for a spell, never
was seen aiore-and SIGH frocs and all his
| old cronies as busy as Inc was among 'em till
somo folks begun 10 wink and whisper that
Uncle Sam ,cas so liberal he had wives enur
'for himself and friends' Things went on
thus for about three years, when Uncle Sam
began (as most folks do, when they git too
much OF good ihlne) to smell and feel troub.
lie; aud jest then got back from foreign
parts, and met Unc.e Sam, and il il had not
been for his bcln my own blood relation and
KNOWN him and loyin him, in any shape, as
do my own father or mother, never would
have known him at all. why says I, I'm
Gle Sam, is this you y says |. Il don't know,
Major says he; 'brl why do you ask-don't
look az natral as ever y saws he. And there
he stood-hol6ip his brooches mp with both
hand, and bis elbows both tore ont and
dirty fhIr sleeve pcepn through, and holes in
his rkin., and his shins all piasiered over
'Why,' says |, Uncle Sam, what on airh ails
| You? Come saya |, give me your hand my
old friend, and let us talk it all oyer together
Pm sorry, Mojo;,' says he, Il can't shake
hands with yon Jest now-my bands are busy,
says he What says |, 'hpldin the money
aye, Uncle Sam--bnth hands full, as usual
saws /. Not exactly, Majnr,' says he ; and
with that he cum up close to me, and whisper
ed in my rsr Pm in a bad boy Major says
he, i've got so many wiyes, ] amt got a but
ton lci for my uspcuders-.-lhey're all off,
Do tel now says !, Il want TO know -
'irs true' says he, and you may see for your.
self And with that look'd--and sure EMU,
there never was a man in SIGH n pickle
WelI says !, Uncle SAM this comes from
folks givin you bad advice--or rather by your
not tOkin good advice, You forget, says |,
one fact--and that is, that it was intended that
your family matters should be regulated on the
same plan Of every other we'll regulated family
--and that tho yours is the General Govern
meni family, il was intended TO be regulated
jest on The same plan as The family OF the hum
blest of your masters"--and there, says !, was
Tho riofbfr ,rif of tho thino in Tho hAninnin
What masters p says he, spunkin up and try
in 10 aNNelI-- ihnl lnk in cnrn Il hold IN IN Ills