The herald., 1837-01-26
Newspa per Courting.

SIR,-l wish through your mediation 10 become ac
quainted with your friend Hymen," who has sign.
fled his Intention IN your paper Of Yesterday to take
fashionable for lady to sound her own praises yet
must confess if can believe some gentlemen of taste
that possess few claims to beauty. But beauty
not his object; however, 1t IS no harm to possess it,
when it does not spoil other qualifications. l have
during the past year. been wooed and wooed again, by
number of old bachelors up town; but as some Of
them have got married, and the remainder have hang
ed themselves in despair, now feel myself IN read-
ness to submit my neck once more, to the holy yoke
of matrimOny. aLs .~
have lived for eighteen years with my late hus-
band, (pocr man y and though his temper was none
of the sweetest, we have had as few brawls as any
couple in the city, The last fuss had with the dear
soul q can't mention his name without tears,) in the
heat of my passion broke Britannia teapot on his
dear head but, he afterwards told me- with
smile on his countenance the hot contents of it ram
ming down his back and bosom gave him more uneasi-
ness than the wound on his forehead. Irecoect one
night among the many that he came home to me
drunk, and though he broke every bit OF china warsn
the house, only gave him three blows of poker on
the ear which knocked him over and left him quiet
until morning could not feel from my heart to give
him the fourth. never considered it honorable to
strike my husband when he was down. mention
these tring circumstances of the married life to show
my forbearance, and that would make good wife
if l only could get submissive husband IS.
almost forgot to mention that that nsxorable ty-
rant and ruthless ravisher of beauty-ime has stolen
nearly all the teeth from the frsnt part of my mouth
in consequence of which my nose and chin seem in
clincd to cultivate nearer acquaintance with each
other. If"Hymen" has any objection to this, can
apply TO Doctor Dodd the excellent Dentist and pro-
cure new sett to grace my countenance on the day
of our nuptals; which happy day Intend not only
to bestow on him my hand, but also my very heart
into the bargain, for love his gallant way ofpoppng
the question. And think that may Judge from it
that he il net an old bachelor for they are the tough
est souls in creation. Inever could ence of them
to pop the question. 1856. e...lf.3g 4f.
In order to settle things quickly, (or hate delay in
sach matters) and to prevent my friends of accusing
me of buying "pig in poke'-suppose "HymenS
makes il his business to go to your Office Thurs
day next, at half past twelve o'clock precisely and
stand of the steps fronting Nassau street. and
in order that may know him, let him keep his right
hand in his pantalooas pocket and the other in his
bosom. By this means can easily know him as
pass for neither rain, hail nor snow will keep me
from going. If like his appearance l will run up
forthwith and embrace him, and then we can settle
matters between ourselves. i...s H. 4
If we adjust our affairs amicably, intend Mr.
Editor to present you with splendid brides cake and
a handsome pair of gloves.
| Yours, atfectionaely, &C., JULIA.