Lynchburg Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1829-185?, 1837-01-23

We have procured and present TO our readers
(omittlng lew sentences OF no interest one oi
The letters OF the late John Randolph. Few let
tiers more amusing than this have probably eyer
been written:
ROANOKE, Saturday, Dec. II, 1881
Hall past II,
Dear Ii.
On taking out my chariot this morning, for the
6sj time SINCE III home, from your house 10
clean II and tae harness lpI this dreadful spell
OF weather has frozen Us all up until to-day, J
The kHite was found - the bottom Of the car
rage nnere 1t must have dropped ilonra shallow
wLlsteoll pocket, Is got ~ al Your door Tor !
missed the knife soon afterwards. When got
home, had the pocket, Of the chariot search
ed and every thing there taken out-dnd II
was mol until John had searched stfieily
into my portnanteau aud bag, taking out ey-
cry article therein, that became perfectly
convinced OF whail was before fully persuade T.,
that had left my knife IN my chamber nj YOU
house, on Tuesday, the 9th aud when heard
II had mol been seen, look 4 Tor granted that
your lutte yellow boy, having fonad H. had,
according 10 the negro code ut morality, appro-
.prlated II to himself In this, II seems, | was
mistaken, and ask his pardon a. the best
inends that can make him aad nj the same
time 10 relieve YOU and Mrs. NJ ifom the unplea
SAINT feeling that such suspicion would oeta-
SION despatch this note 10y special messcn-
ger although ! have certain conveyance to-
morrow.
make no apology to yourself or Mrs. NJ,
for the frank expression OF my suspicion, because
1irdth /, the goddess al whose shrine worship:
aud 10 Huguenot III France, or Mou>co IN
SnaIn. OF Judai2iag CHRISTIAN III Portugal, eyer
pald more dearly Tor the hcrcttcal schlsui, than
nave done IN leaving The established church OF
faisehood ant otimace. am well aware that
ladies are is delicate as they are charming crca-
lures, aud that III our intercourse with them Nc
must strain the truth as Tar rs possible brought
up from Their earliest infancy 10 disguise Their
real sentiments, (lor a " oman would be a mon
ster who did not practise tins dlsgulse) II Is
their PRIV i.ge TO BIZ mslncere-and w should
de>plse them, aud justly too, II they had that
manly irankness and unreserre Which eonslI-
tut,s the ornament OF our character, as the very
reverse does OF theirs We must therefore keep
this IN view IN all our intercourse with them,
aud Lrcollect that rs our point oi honor Is com
age and tlankncSs, theirs Is chastity and diSsim-
ttLation Tor, as | SAID before, woman who
does not Ensemble her real feelings is a mon sier
of lmpudencc. Now, therefore, II does so hap.
pen, (as Mr.. Canning would say,) that truth is
very offensive To the ears OF lady, when TO
those OF gentleman Cher husband, tor instance }
II would mol be AT all 50.
To lllusttate-Mrs. X. of b, my BROTHER
widow, WAS beyond all comparison the incest
aud best house vile that ever saw. MOI one
drop OF water was suffered To stand upon her
sdeboard, except what was III the pitcher the
house from cellar 10 garrett aud IN every part, as
clean as hands could make II, and every lnIn2 a.
1t should be, To suit even my iastidlou, taste.
| lived there after my brothers death, from
1896 to 1910 inclusive, and never did see or
smell any thing to offend my senses, or lmagi-
nation, bW once. Except IN autumn, would de
~ Won 10 find a leat or a feather IN the yard. No
poultry welc permitted to come into it, aud we
had no dirty children, white or negro, 10 make
litter aud filth. A strong enclosure of sawn
plank, eight feet high, fenced IN the kitchen,
smoke house, ice house, yeal-house, wood
house, I'm which the wood Tor the use of the
house was stacked away under lock and key
Tue turkey and hen houses were IN the same en-
closure, which had two doors, one next the dwell
ling house for the use of the mistress and hous
servants, and one large enough 10 admit wago
on the back or north side, beyond which WAS
well quilt quarter, with two BRICK chlmneys am
two rooms with lire laces and four rooms with
out ior servants. There was also what hat
forgot, spinning aud weaving house.
Al night the doors of tins enclosure wer
locked up--noi a servant being allowed 10 slecl
within ii. although every one of them was il
sound Of the ady's bell.
Ga one unhappy day IN very hot and dam
cold lamb was br, ught to table that was spoiled
the first and last instance IN nearly fifteen years
OF the slightest neglect IN household economy
! ordered the waiter To take II away, IL benz.
spoiled. Mis-. X. resented this, aud ilally con
tradcted me aud although the lamb absolulel,
StuRk, she ate a part OF 1t TO prove her word
true, and was atfroned with me almost pas
forgiveness. dare say that fl had not notice
the lamb she might have given hint to the SCI
want TO take 1t away but the honest make
truth was not 10 be borne. We had no compa
ny but Dudley and her younger son. the
schoolboys aud an Eng lishmaa named knowle.
who acted as oyerseer or steward, and dine
with US until he took 10 drink.
Mrs. X. stouty denied that the lamb could b
spoiled, because II had been boiled only the da
beiole, aud had been in the ice-house ever sine,
! Admitted her facts, but denied her iogic, uhic
teas truly u Romans. | maintained that tn
highest evidence was that otthe senses; that W
must reason from facts where we could get them
and II was only where we could not that il wa
fair TO argue from probabilities that the lam
SUNK, and therefore was not sound. This sh
denied, and to prove her words, actually mad
shift to swallow half mouthlul which. undo
other circumstances, she would not have don
for thousand dollars. SO much for the ladies'
charming creatures, the salt of the earth whor
like uncle Toby and all other old bachelors
never. could thoroughly understand, for want ,
the key OF matrimony which alone can unloc
their secrets and make plain Gas many husban
can tell) all the apparent contradictions in the
character. Yes, so much for the farer and be
ter part of creation, las from my soul | beliey
them 10 be- but who as the Waverlv man say
OF Kings, are kitie cattle TO shoe behind An
so ii ought 10 be; for il is their poor and almo,
only privilege to kick while we roam where w
will, and they must sit still until they are aske,
therefore am upholding them in all their ow
proper privileges, SO long as they don't encroac
nf. A nt,t!,n 1.