Richmond Indiana palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1837-1839, 1837-10-07
MARINE PAVILION, RocKAwAy, l.. /.
September 18th, 1887, in sight of the :
wreck of the Two Pollies.


To the Editors If the ": y. Daily Express
got ono Of your papers III which you printed
INV last letter to 'Cnclc SAM and when rcadIn
ont, it was fortunate for You that was 20 miles
of',-for never did sec sicE 'tarnal work you
made OF some parts of my letter. Howsever, all
I've got to say about it is, if folks who read my
letters IN print, find any thing in 'em that don't
read smooth, and amt correct to dates and
facts they may set it down against the printers.
1t was Jest so once with young Doctor, friend
Of mine, in the Colarc times lie writ a long let
ter once. about how he cured folks by giving Gallo
me,-hc writ ''Calomcl in doses erery minute, y
and the printers put it in print ''Calomel in doses
crcry minute" Up went Calomel among the
Pothecarys-and dorn trent the poor sick folks.
1t warns the Doctors fault for it all to the
printers, and a little Sc"
Now aforc l trust YOU with other matters, III
give you the prin,in of a story Eve got to tell
and you may stick as many E's and O's and rs
into it as YOU pleas, and don't what you
make ont so long as folks take the mother ~it and
BARN ont. II is story about ''Tnc!e SAM and
some OF his capcrs among the woman folks.
"Unclc Sam YOU know, always was n sOcidbie
kind of crittur, and from his first comm into life,
never could get along well without havin his hull
family about him. all on 'cm givin him ''aboost up
the RECRUIT. "Uncle Sam" found, most folk
do. aforc they git gray, that unless he took wife
to take of his buttons and keep things slickI
up about housc-hc would git into trouble and so
+ iouTU wen. uNIu NdiiouS plans anu scCii
Il good deal of trouble one way and another. he
took adv ice some twenty wears ago. and got mar
ricd To a smooth quiet quaker Lady, worth IS mil
Ions of dollars,-and Uncle Sam was consider
able liberal in his way, he put into the family
stock millions of dollars; (not in the ''ralc grit,
howscvcr, but what he said then was just as good
as 'grit'') and 50 togather they had 30 millions
Well. 81 millions was trifle, and things went
on smooth and slick for nigh upon 20 years, and
every body said. at home and abroad, there never
was a happier couple. Uncle Sans wife did all
a wife could do, and tho Uncle Sam would once 4
Il while, srcN up and talk big. his wife said nothr
but kept stitchin up his brooches when he'd spit
i 'en. and sew on buttons when he twitchd 'em off
But by and by "Uncle SAM got mixin up with ode
company. and among other things, got kink in
his head out Of Fanny Wright's doctrines, that
man of such Importance hadn't ought TO stick t.
ono wife. but have as many as the great Mogui
IL swow,- says Uncle Sam, ''l'm good mind Il
try it, and so he talk to other folks about it.
to rights the gals got the notion too; and ther
..Unclc SAM got ono Amos kindle to 60 rouno
and sound about. and see If the gals would stant
the rackct.-and come back. and says he. ''Cncl'
= Sam. there's no mistake about it; the gals arr
all ready and more than YOU can shake a stick at
and sure enough, just then the gals all havin 60
tie notion, set to,-thcy prai. ed up "Uncle Sam.
/, and abused his good old quaker wite-O shocking
c there's no tein what they did't say; and amon
d other thing they said. that "Uncic Sans Wit
y w.s-*-*--PshcwM you don't sa
d so!. and marcy on us!M We'll
: the next thing you sec Of Uncle Sam was n
r iookd fine as fiddlc-rufflcs round both ecnd
r OF his shirt, and SIGH a capcrn as he cut anon
D. ms new wives for a spell, never was seen aSore-
- and s'ch frolicsM and all his old croines as bus
" as he was among 'em, till some folks begun I
1t wink and whisper "that Uncle Sam ibcru
p he had wives cnuf 'for himself and friends
c Things went on thus for about three wears. whe
Uncle Sam began Gas most folks do, when the
HI git too much Of a good thing) to smell and fe,
m trouble; and jest then l got back from foreig
Of parts, and met .Uncle SAM and if it had n,
il ben for his bcin nv own blood relation an
r KNOWN him and lovin him, in any shape as l q
&c my own father or mother, never would hay
known him at all. why says ], "Unclc Sam,
this your says l. 81 don, know Major" say
r. he; 'sbut why do you ask-dou'tI look nafr