Iowa news. [volume] (Dubuque, Upper Mississippi Lead Mines, Wisconsin Territory) 1837-1841, 1837-06-03
VOL. /.
CONFESSION OF A VICTIM.

CONFESSION OF A VICTIM.
BY A 20 EFT.
lam the onlv son of reputable and wealthy pa
,en,s. Early in life, entered into mercantile
house IN New York, for the purpose of acquiring a
Knowledge of the business, preparatory to COM
nnencing, on my own responsibility, mercantile
career, Al this tina, i was eighteen, and had
bur recently returned from my academic studies al
New.ffaven. My person, at that early period, was
good nv mind polishedby education, and my man
s,ers. if no, graceful. were easy. was glad o.
a,eart and ambitious of dstinction-eager ioi the
reputatiol of integrity, and all enthusiast III my
admiration of genius. My associates were repula-
Bile and the sons of gentlemsn-the prespect pe!o1e
me was excellent, and my life gided onward ike q
r, uss w;thin few weeksof my nineteenth birth
dav. that became acquainted with Amelia Mont
fort She was being of perfect virtue, OF trans
cendant beauty, and OF uncommon mind-had an
ave for the spell of poesy She was three years my
;vn;or: her beauty rather i'll the blossom than the
bud and her intellect, more remarkable for its git
If imagination, than for its power. She mad min
glad little in societyknew less OF the hearteGsness
Of manknd-and her heart was the temple OF en-
,hma;,s,c and ardent, but of hallowed feelings.
For myself / had mingled i'll female society;
had messed many ga thin red lip," and bowed be-
fire many a rich dark eye. But Amelia was glad
creature, tsgirl in gehteness," and "a high soul
ed woman,' in dignity; and when she elected ad-
miration. it was ever blended III estecm.-M1ngieo
in her temperament, also there was tlnge OF ro-
,nance-it was the romance rather of devoted teel-
;.a ,ban of affected sentiment; and even when
h.r tons were boarded up iii the sanctuary OF
her own pure bosom, she acknowledged their burn-
ING intensity, and confessed the idolatv which
would mingie in her love. In Brief Amelia be-
came the beau ideal of my fancy, and ere knew
her many months, was her worshlpper.
all hO,,,,r dun inf 1a n
NV Standardization had impaired to my char
acter new tngc, and to my habits another current,
IN INV communngs with That being, | was supreme
~ hannv There was enchantmsnt i'll the very at
mosphere she breathed-my dreams caught their
delirious raptures from hel memory, and my waking
thoughts dwelt constantly upon Amelia. she was
worthy of all n,yIrega d-worthy of all my devotion
and every hour seemed but to unfold soma esti-
mable trait i'll her Character.
When was twenty years of age, we were mar
RED NY father renquished his business lii my
fvos, and life glided or another year, all sum
shine and happiness.
By this tina, had gone more frequently to min
gle with the world-became interested i'll politics,
and thirsted for power. was engaged in a lucra-
tive mercantile career-my family was influential,
and my aid readily accepted, ifnot courtcd, by the
wilv and perfdious minions of office. Gradually,
/ became deeply interested in political warfare
gradually, fogot the spell ofmy wife's virtue and
affections,-ana, gradually, there was dslirum
and Joy in the vine cup, and became one OF the
xotaries of Bacchus
d,cannot portray how insidiously the charm wove
into my senses, and FILTERED away my faculties.
II now seems as terrible and impossible dream
but the horrors of thai dream are imprinted with
letters OF fire on my brain. The agonies Of my re-
morse, have been as serpents ghawihg the tender
est yitals of my existence. gazed back upon the
mast. and would tain bot its hallowed moments
from the pages of my being.
But 10 continue. With ssstealthy step and
Slow, Ibecame the victim of ntemperancs-ne-
cleo ted my business, and was bankrupt-was at
first pointed at and pitied by my friends and rea-
,iyes. aud a. last. summed and despised as dis
grace md dshenor.
TWAS many months before my wife could bring |
herself to the conviction that, l,Vasa dr'inkard
that had come to her in hor youth and beauty
that had called forth and broken up the deepest
cesses other soul! thatwas applaudcd for my IN.
tegrity-honored for my virtue-and emulated for
my character! how could size deem me drunkard
la oathsome and contemplate set--a disgrace 10
humanity. She closed her eyes for weary period
upon truth so horrible, and endearoed 10 shut Out
from her Senses and her u,de rstanding the black
ness of my guilt! Oh Cod! how tina. being chung
to, and worshipped me, even amid the abject con
sumely of my degradation. How she ciung amid |
the wretchness OF her despair, 10 the hope that
might yet DO retrieved. How she wept, and psf-
studded, and endeavored 10 fascinate me back tony |
domestic cnjoyments, and to keep Inc, even for one
night. from the ens of iniquity and the reveiry OF
crims! How she "thrsw her white arms around
me- - and bssolght me wths earnest looks, and pure
caresses, TO remember my early vows--io feinen-
Der my own happiness -her peace OF mlnd and my |
fathers cares for the sake of his only child, and
the heir to his hitherto inspected fame. IN, my |
God! how impossbls it seems, that could have /
gone forth after such scene this. and bathed !
;kon Iaba t,,fY
Of intoxicatioi. Would to heaven that 1 could
live over again my young life. Would that again
might hear the voice of my Amelia, and bask in
ths innocent smiles of her affection! Would
could call up the shade of my murdered sire, and
weep away my shame and anguish in tears of blood!
But in vaia now is the agony Of my rcmofse-in
vain do repent of my early error, and invoke the
past hours.
II was probably three years aftsl my marriage,
that became bankrupt 1.-The progess of my de-
basement from that period, was rapid Igavezs,y-
self completely up to intcmperance. The intoxi- /
eating draught operated upon my mind, like soma
spell of nfatuation. Twas unable tn
resist IT, influence. was unable TO turn awav
from the tide Of ignomy, which was hurrying me |
10 the vortex of destruction. My mind, though il
did not actually decay, seemed somewhat affected I
with my body. My affections benumbed and
torpid, and the sympatGes of my bosom held afi-
nifty with nothing but drink.
Amta sne most aDject poverty, my wife shared
my destiny. Bloated and distorted as were my
features she still imagined she in it, traces Of
my early coalition. And whom, in some ftful mo-
ment OF remorse and sanity, professed repent
ance-when, for moment, told her that my al. |
fiction for her still lived-Oh God! what flush of
joy overspread the features Of my poor Amelia
what thrill ofrapture seemed tingiing through her
veins, as she still hoped TO save me.
Then she would tell me over all nav prospects, Of
eviNs Eprfune-thaf II Wa
my father would receive me back again y, his con-
6denca-fhaf she would love me. and cheaish ma