The herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1835-1837, 1837-05-19


An IaIsH SuIcIDE.-Jemmy Burns and his wife
Kate, two children OF the green isle Oh .e ocean,
are perfect patterns of domestic 1ehcliy whsn Jenny
lets Kate have all her way ana does nei'Aer more
nor less than lust what she peases. Things go on
merry lust as long as he submits unhesltatingy 10
petticoat government. The pinnaee OF lie ghdes
smoothly along, without a single elilow 81 90
mestc strife, or brsomstck breaker ahead, "hle
KATY Keeps the helm; bat when Johnny Burns gets
three sheets in the wind, then look out for squalls
On one of those occasions, when he felt uncom-
monty mutnous, and words had almost come to
blows he threatened to put end to his wretched,
hen ecked existence. This doubt his deter
asnatsn at nigh, and considering he high prices of
DIVISIONS and whiskey not much 10 be wondered at
What has a man to live for, when his wife wears the
unmentionables. IfJemmy had ever read the mmor-
tal Bard of Avon, he would have hung drowned
''-.self at once, for
;'Hy'twere done, when lis done, then 'twere well
,r We're done quickly
Jenny didn't think of that-but went 10 bed, ito
sleep-perchance to dream" When he awoke in the
morning he thought of his last nights purpose, but
his courage had oozed ost at his fingers ends. He
looked out and the sun smiling on the landscapes;
he looked in and Kate was smiling in his cabin. Ii
nothing had been said, nothing would have been done.
The least that is said in some cases. the better But,
women in general, when a man has SAID or done a
foolish thing but TOO apt to remind him OF IT, and
Kate was not slow to allude to the conversation OF
the previous evening. Jenny didn't like to take a
stump and determined to put his design in execution
far at least to brighten his wife, and astonsh his
nclghbOrS lie got a rOpe-fndde one end fast TO q
beam, tied the other around his waist and swung off.
His wife discovered him in this situation Instead OF
cutting him down, she ran out and alarmed the neigh
bors. All the Patrcks, and Phiims and Judys came
running il to see the sight, while Jenny hung sus-
pended between the heavens and the earth. Listen
ers seldom hear any good Of themselves. "Unlucky
fellow that Jem," said Dennis o Brien, bur consd-
ering the state of the currency it will be blessing
TO the community"
Jemmys dander began to rise, but he kept STILL O
little longer. "Faith and its great laatther after
all" said Phem OFlaherty, ian It's pity to max,
any bodther about it." sYes," said they all, "sure
and is mt it wonder the state hadn't doneit for hin
long ago." This was too much for Jcmmy's phlos
ephy, and the whole lot were thrown first into a fl
OF wonder and then into convulsive fit of laughter
by JENNY who dealt out such mess of Iish saths
on the whole party has not been heard since the
nsted town meeting in Tipperara when the devil, dis
puised as an orator. commenced speech, melting the
people to rebellion and discovered by aholy friar
who made him forget himself that he went or
swearing such eaths as made the whole market place
look blue three months after
Jenny lives in peace with Kate, submitting 10 al
the enerous regulations of a petticcat government
none of the milaest The most indirect allusion tc
the suicide to him, is sufficient to quel anysymptom:
of a domestic rebellion.
This story teaches several useful lessons which its
readers will undoubtedly have the sagacity to dis
cover