Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1837-06-08
ADVICE To A YOUNG LADY
litter HER .W9RRL4GE.
ny J0dge EleFseII, Of New Yorh.


ny JsdEe EleFseII, Of New Ysrh.
You are now marned, and az IL usual
on such occasions, your friends and ac-
quaintance will profess to wish you 10Y.
Many will do so as an act Of common
eivility. feeling little or nothing of the
sentiment which the words import
When, however, I express a solicitude
for your welfare, think am entitled
20 the credit Of meaning something
more than the performances of an emp
~ ceremony. But Rhen- conRTaisALll.-
nag you. ! know no better way Of prov
ing the sincerity Of my professions.
than by rendering you my advice as to
some OF the means deem il neCessa-
~ 10 be pursued in order to render
your new situation a matter OF real fe-
licitation.
Young people are very apt 10 think,
II they think az all on the subject, that
when they get married their cares are
ell scattered to the winds, and that
their happiness is secured for life. So
far from the truth is such thought,
that when reality awakens them from
the dream Of uninterrupted bliss, they
find their sorrows certainly doubled;
and whether their joys are to be in
creased or not. depends mostly on
themselves; and they viii still End
causes enough 10 interrupt their happi-
ness, though each should do their best
90 prevent or counterfeit them. One
thing is certain, that the married state
may be made more happy than the
single life, or it may become state Of
perfect wretchedness and whether
your present situation is 60 be better
than that you exchanged for il, de-
ponds much or mostly on yourself. It
a. therefore matter the frat ia order,
rs well as the frat importance 10 you,
that you should endeayoP to ascertain
the means best calculated to secure .
continuance Of that happiness which
doubtless you expected 10 experience
IA the welded life. On lhis subject
will endeavor TO assist YOU.
That you were happy during the Pc
Rod spent IN eouTiship, you will not
deny. That you were so, arose from
the consciousness that you loved and
were beloved in Fetnrn; and from the
pleasing hope or moral certainty you
would attain the object Of your affec-
tions. The hope is realised and that
you are happy now, you need no one
70 tell you. Il is the Feciproeated az
feetions Of your husband which make
you haPpy--rt Is yours which make
him so; hence mutual affections con-
siiiute che source Of eonnubisl bliss
and Il is equally true, that In The infe
lieily Of the married slate. follows the
loss Of those affections. On The con.
tinusnee Of the affections, then, no less
than on the choice Of . husband, de-
ponds your happiness ia she welded
life. The means to insure Z conlinu-
ance of-tiTJss-s deciiUds. ~ lhe 7suiBjccl
Next IN course for your confederation.
SO numerous are the instances IN
which married people have lost their
affections for each other, that tho unrc-
Aeeting have hastily concluded, that Il
g. easier 10 acquire than retain them
IL this be true, 4 goes b prove that
YOU should be more assiduous 70 fetain
the affections Of your husband than
YOU we're % gain them. Bot Il Is not
true 90 the extent which many believe.
u IL very unphilosophical 10 argue,
that like causes will not produce like
sfsels--or that the effect viii cease
though the cause be continued. The
truth most probably IL, that when The
affections Of married people become
extinct, tits owing to their ncglcci %
continue lhe ca1ses BY which those ef.
fseiioas ,oers first elected Whsi man
IN his senses, II he knew The disposi-
ton Of tho lady be addressed, would iall
IN love With sour, sulky, brawlingi
ill-nalured woman u Is Che opposite
qualities which ho sees or thinks be
secs in the lady Of bic choice. u
which he becomes enamoureo. 10 ia
a eountenanco illumined with smiles,
eyes heaming with Intelligence, q
mouth Sowing with f0eelness and good
haiure---in short. e department indica-
hge q modesty. mildnes5. and benig-
n'iy 20 which he pays lho homage q
be heart ~ such were TIE causes BY
vhieh we're quiekenod the tenderness
o. ne lover. rely on u that nothing
short Of those viii insure the affections
oi the husband for when the causDs