Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1836-04-21

memoerln or unueTStdIlul1 HdH-lnSH
he clapt his hand on one side of the lit
tie fellows sconcebox, "there," says
he, " do you see that derilnpement," or
some such word that sounded awful.
"That WHAT" says Hannah. "Vul-
carly called bump" continued he.
alt amt bump, neyther," says his
mother, % its his natural shape"
"No doubt O. that" said the villin.
Well now if / ever heard the beat
o. that, says she, "that bumps come
natral."
So then he told her why they was
only called bumps, cause they looked
like 'em-and the bigger they were,
and the more there was of 'em, the
more different sorts o ideas and capaci-
ties folks had-and so on. At first she
thought the man was stark mad-but
he seemed to be entirely harmless, and
so she let him go OH with his stuff, and
somehow, he eenemost persuaded her
it was all gospel. But he said that lit
tie Moses had got the bunch of des-
truction to an all fired degree, though
1 it was in the mothers power to help it
considerably. But when Hannah as
ked him if she must swathe up his
head, he snorted right out--and then
went on TO say, that Moses had got jist
stitch a shaped head as that man had,
that was hung down to Boston last
September. He finally talked her in
to livin fidget-polite as stage drl'
yer all the time, too-and so larnt be-
sides, that Hannah couldn't nothin but
hear him paraphrase. So arter he'd
drank a quart of beer, and Hannah cut
a mince PIE for him, he cleared-leav'
ing Hannah in such stew, that kept
working up, and working up, till she
heard me comm into the house, and
then it burst out all at once. A tenn
pestical time it was | tell you.
Now by the time Hannah had con-
cluded her lockrum, you may depend |
was in an almighty passion-and it's
amazin' lucky for the fellow that he
was out of arms length jist at that min.
il. But then | understood it all better
than she, for I'd seen in the prints
pieces about Franology or Cranology,
or some such truck that seemed to ex-
plain to my mind what the fellow meant
But poor Hannah don't get much time
to read the newspapers, so that she
hadn't heard word. No wonder she
took the man for crazy crltter.
Yet some how when | looked at Mo-
ses, couldn't help consatin' that his
head did look sort o queer, though !
wouldn't say nothing neither; but, says
| "Hannah look here, that fellow that's
been treatin' you to SIGH rigmaroles of
nonsense, is a rotten fool, and you're
another. fever | should light upon
him guess I'd give his head bump
that would save him from the gallows.
All is, if you think any thing is the
matter with the young one, why I'll go
arter the doctor and that'll settle it. !"
"Do John" says she. So off | starts
for Doctor Eldrich-but by the time |
got to the House, | begun to think what
a darnation goose was to go on SIGH a
TOM fools errand. By good luck how
ever, the doctor was out; so | jist left
word for him to come to our house in
the course Of the day if he'd nothing
else to do.
Thinks I, as trudged back, here's
an eend to thanksgivin'. Well, to
rights, Doctor Hosanna Eldrch came,
(they call him Hosanna, because he is
deacon of the church, IL sings through
his nose a few.) | declare, when | saw
him riding up the lane, | couldn't help
feeling like thundern' calf-so | llst
made excuse to split some kindlin' and
left Hannah TO give him chapter and
varse. Our wood house is short of
half mile from the house, but | could
hear the doctor haw-haw clear out
there. So dropt axe, and in | went.
S'niver the Doctor see me he give me
bunch. "Aint you pretty con-
siderable queer chap" says he, "to
send for me on such beautiful busl-
ness as this" With that he haw haw'd
again, and my wife she laughed tlllshe
cried, list to see the figure the doctor
cut, for he's as long as the moral law,
and couldn't stand up for laughln'.-
Then lauged too, till the house rang
luckily our highest neighbor lives
half mile off, and is deaf into the bar
gain. So tipt the wink Of Hannah,
and told Hosannah that twas all a
Joke of ourn to send for him; (for !
thought ! should want to look corner
ways and skywoniky if he should tell
the company about us the next day
Besides | know'd the deacon liked a
joke pretty well, even if he got rubbed
himself, sometimes.) So, says l"How
did Hannah carry it outl' Consarn it
if he didn't jump right into the trap.
"Capital, capital" said he. "Both-