The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1836-08-24
XEDDY SLOW, THE MAN WITH
THE NOSE.

most tning as IL, anu III Ut ""S' =
ride it out. l aint corned, nor noihh Oh
that sort, only can't sail good, cause my
pockets is empty, hasn't got no pa''as''
not a sumarkee, TO keep me from iosihg
ahead. one sailing crank. But, IT any gem
,nen vos 70 lend a five dollar note-a Skull
killer. or something of that natur--on n
slow note-l could beat right up in the
Winds eve but its no use-righty-d -dIghty
cemmon is scarce articles now days, and
ven they kelches 'em de fills up their insides
With straw, and sticks 'em up in the Muse
um. IfI'd been borned hundred years
ago, this here, vond'nr happened now, and
if nv pa vos here, I'd give it to him schan-
dalous for cheating me out OF my turn.
ought to have been in the world rs soon as
he vos. Yes, and / can see no reason, by
good rights, Wy l shouldn't have been here
as soon as my grand daddy.-ln them days,
n feIer could get along as slick as you
plcase plenty of money, noflin to do +; but
now it's plenty to do, nofiin to get. von-
der if couldn't sue dad for a swindlc, aud
make him pay for vot l lost in not being
here in time1 But if vos to, the whole
world would be suing their daddies, and by'm
by we'd be sued, cause things get vuss and
yuss. and our children will be as mad, II not
madder, than We are at being left nlgger
last. Veil, veil, 'sposc as We couldn't all
start fair, and come together, some folks
must come first, one after the other. Bat
Ill stick to it, coined too late
Neddy sunk into gloomy repose' ana
wished that he had been in the time OF the
patriarchs but whether his nose burnt The
tree box and the smoke awakened The watch
man, or whether that fnnctlonary got up
because he thought Neddy's nasal light was
day lioht. and that Neddys nose was the
rising sun. is not stated. For our purpose
il il sufficient to know that the Charley did
awake, aud walk toward the beacon, per-
haps fearing it to be a case OF spontaneous
combustion, or the explosion OF hew vol
cano.
We'll, | swow,' said the dignitary, what
the deuce are you after I!
Il vos after my nose, but aint after nut-
fin now: only things in this world isn't as
right as they might be-
No, l see that-you're plaeuily out of
kelter yourself. Get up, and go home, it's
late
Il knows tits too late-too late to go
home. lis always too late With me. didn't
get into the world till it vos too late, and
that's the reason w never was in time in
nv life, not even for breakfast. For my
part, don't believe there is such a thing ns
too early. | never seed it, but voncc, and
then vos too early getting out of the
steamboat.--l tumbled into the river, and
like TO have been drowned.
why, you're unucky but if you
sprawl about the streets, you can't help be-
ing up early in the morning.
Yes, but have to sleep all day, aud 50
gets behind hand agin. I'm a misforiu-
nate man, and if had n big bucket con-
wenient, I'd cry for a week."
But how do you livo--how do you get
any thing to eat 2
IVY, don't live great deal. I've got
sich pulmonary can't eat. My sustem
is screwed up principally with drinkables--
that's the d)ctor's superscriptiou-l'm on IA
regiment
I've a notion you're one of the thirty
day wagrons-your regiment Is the airy
cuards-tho ragged trowsalooners, aud
you're one of the regulars, or you wouldn't
wear your uniform every day
Now, don't-don't insult my trowsers--
though their circumstances isn't good, they
comes of a genreel family, and has seen
better days-poor, but proud-and patch
ing would only mortify 'em. They're like
their owner, too late
Fiddes,icks end are you wagrom or
are you not What's your business 2
Il aint got none now. learnt the wood
h,,t I ~
vos too late, for coal was coming in, and
l afterwards wanted to he stage driver, but
it vos too late agin. They found out rail-
roads and locomotives, and vos dishod
yos going to make a good spec in the mar
rying line, but by the time I'd raised gooc
coat to ask the woman in, the woman go
tired of Waiting, and raised another fellow
for a husband. and said might vait mysel
then till she vos widow again. I'm wait.
ing, and that's vot do most of the time
only the man dies SO slow he doesn't lool
as if he vos dying at all-some folks is Sc
law about it, and never minds how tree
you get Waiting for 'em to defunct. vo;
after sitiation yesterday. vonted to b'
n dog ketcher, vich, | takes it, is VERY
genteel kind of business, If so be you're il
The wholesale vay but vos,too late. Nor
of the unders,rappers feller vo,'s got NJ
genus at all, only good friends vos promoted
He vos only common ketcher n. first, bu
now he's a knocker, and finishes OFT TIN
misfor,unate dogs vich isn't got no owner
after they are ketched.'
So you don't do nothing for living
Muffin .thank'ee, but little Jobs, voot
splitting, and sich things. I'm waiting fo
,i,e vido,y and I aske You politely to conn