The Camden journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1836-1851, 1836-04-30
SNEEZING.

SNEEZING.
We hope we may not be branded pre-
sumutrous II, in the matter Of sneezing,
We pretend to be connoisseurs. As a
proof Of our taste we hat. one Of your
sniveIIing, dry. half-fi:h med to death
sneezcs-but for one oi your full, clear,
sonoroGs. dctona,ing. revcrberalins, ex-
plosions--onc Of those reports tina. Sc,
tho wine glasses on the side board jim
Cling. and wake pussy-wc say for one
e those earthquake sneczcs. we have q
love intcriour only 10 that which we bear
/ for woman and-our fasouriie dog. A
snecze. TO be in good taste, should crack
like rifle on clear morning. a reciepc
for snceze ofthis genius is as follows:
Wien you feel q tickling at the root Of
your proboscis. just jump up if you be
sealed, run TO the window, through which
the sun shines, throw your head back un.
til the bump Of philoprogcniiivencss pres
ses on your coat collar. open your nroulh,
snarl like a hslf.s,srved Hyena at piece
oi fresh meat, inhaIc deep breath, and
blaze away! The effect will he pro-
digious-an echo will salute you from the
hnuse.top over the way--ihe good house.
wives will order the clothes to be taken
in-yous game cock will cock up The red
Of his eye al the sun-and you will have
the best assurance that you have no.
sneczed in vain.
We commend you 10 pinch of sun
beams, end away with your macaboy, il
you would have your speczs have sound
above The vulgar. Snuff is not the thing
la natural wav. touched OF BY torch
OF .unbsams. gives repor, worthy the
nose Of ono of agreal and free people
Away with your sGuibs, whiel, hiss, and
your sncczcs Shicl, fash in the pan. and
only burn prim;ng, and give us q salute
which shakes the head TO its Foundations
Why. our dog aforesaid has been laugh,
TO do snceze up in a more manly way
than u,ai. He does not. like other dogs,
grin and jerk his head like whiplash
and succzr as If il were only some Of the
vcr.cbrH Of his neck which were crack
lug, but he points his snout towards tho
sun. and breaks forth into an ul,eranc.
which is ouJy surpassed bv the melody o.
his own unrivcllcd bark, or the ,hundc,
Of his unsurpassablc growl.
! We khew an old gentleman once, whs
was most famous. sncezcr-in fact hi.
nose was just The thing to intimate th'
, flourish Of trumpet with, or, What VI,
!, like better. TO utter sGceze. which, lik,
:, Nspolcon's geasralship. was without
parallel. Anthony Van Corlear nigh
beat him at regular martial tune who's,
inspircing tones hsricncd the Ouch bur
shers in the hour Of battle but the fcxi
} biil,y Of Anthony's woulI never have ad
} mitlcd Of the superIn,irc rush OF thundc
D for which our friends nose was rcuarka
bic. One such report rs we hare hear,
!, him utter. would have scattered q com
, mon nose in laccra.cd fragments over al
, acre OF ground. His nose who viewed il
front. rcsenhied Macedonian phaianx,
/ wos o solid column. bold and utterly i'm
) pergnablc, and his sncczc. as counscllo
; Phillips said c: 22onaparse. was ''wi,hou
{ asaadox," Well our ir;;ru,' was an carl.
riseF, and crcry morning. juss az tho roos
3 tcrs were Growing away ,heir braggin,
| prisons, nc would open The back door an,
inhalc lille fresh air. Planned firmly il
3 the doorway. be would grasp hold Of cac
side, with his hand. raise his nose toward
the zcui,l. and Ere away. I, was III
0 'morning gun for the ne;ghbourho od an
its deep echoes used to bound merrill
through tho streets falling on lhc car les
distinct, until they wcre finally gone to
Tar od 10 hear. il was tho signal for III
. good folks round shout % get up By an
: when they heard il, They would serate
!, , open teir eyes and start from their rccum
, , ben, po,tures to begin The business Of ,h
; day. When our old friend died, III
,, neighbourhood 60. into tho bad habi, {
oversIceping itself. and from the briske,
II became the lazicn. In ,own-ala.! ,h
sncczcr and his sneezc were hushcd!
- Cincinnati Miror.