Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1836-11-10

H80MsCoURTsMlP AnARnnAaRs
By THE REv. >. -. DAVIS.
WHAT CONSTITUTES A BErRoTB-
MENT.
The most interesting and decisive
period in the history or courtship 70.
mans to be considered. We have en-
deavored TO conduct the inquirer after
truth along. from one step 20 another.
till We have brought him 10 that point
when he 10 prompted. rot only by the
affections. but by q regard for his own
character and the character Of his
friend, TO make those declarations Of
attachment and love. which, il recip-
rocsied, shall prepare the way for the
assumption Of obligations the most
binding sad solemn. What. then. 10
the nature Of betrothment And what
are the circsmstAnees which will rem
der Il null and voidi
]. remark that matrimonial en-
gagement does not consist in any Of
the ciyilities and courtesies OF life
which gentlemen may extend 70 .
lady. u 10 not unfrequcntly the case,
however. that these ere mistaken for
declarations Of love. snd the announce
nent 10 made 1t once that such per-
sons are engaged. Such q the impru-
dence OF friends olien, and more fire.
quently Of the lady herself. that the
politeaess and attention, which are
ever due between the sexes. are con-
strued into proposals Cor matrimony,
and young gentleman hesrs the re-
port Of his engagement while. as yet.
not even dream ofthe thing has pass
ed bis own mind. BY such impTu-
dence the lady sewers herself from the
society. perhaps, Of an honorable and
polished mind. and brings upon her
self and friends the modification and
disappointment which will Inevitably
follow m such cases. II q gentleman
attend lady 10 church; IL he escort
her 20 the public assembly; II he ocea-
sionally visit her for the sake Of good
society. the report 10 not unfrequently
set on foot, by some mischiei-maker or
indiscreet friend, that the parties arc
engaged 10 be married.
2. Neither does an engagement con-
sist IN any politeness. or social inter-
course which lady may extend to q
gentleman.
There are young gentlemen. how
ever, Of such consummate vanity. a.
TO suppose that such treatment is moth
ing less than the strongest intimstion
Of personal attachment. II Q lsdy so
much - look q, them, they fancy il
must be love affair, and equivalent 10
the most direct proposals for mstrimo-
ny. A smile. 4 compliment. . SOCIAL
interview. . walk OF ride Of pleasure.
Is set down by such coaceited cox
combs. as the most unequivocal decia-
ration Of love. They tell Of the con.
quests they have made, with an air Of
triumph, and never know their mistake
ill they learn !. in that reserve aud
neglect which their conduct so richly
deserves.
3. Neither does an engagement con-
sist in any Of these preliminary steps,
which are 50 important IL order 70 .
just estimate Of the character and quail
i6cations Of the person with whom you
would be united for life.
Many persons. however. imagine
that every such step is q commi,tal.-
While the individual is only forming
that wise estimate. end making those
judicious invesiie alIoDS, which every
one 10 bound TO make, in the affair. by
. regard 10 bis own hsppiness--and
THAI Of otheFs-he 10 considered Is
fairly committed, without the possibili.
~ Of honorable retreat. But this Is
al wrong. whether Il be the sentiment
Of individuals OF public sentiment
The very object Of his researches Il
10 aseeFtain IL the character and quail
Eealioas Of the peTsOa are such ss will
make him happy companion fos life.
without such inVestieaiioa he might
~ well commit bis interest, in this
matter. 70 lady be bad never beheld.
Hs might ~ veil be betroahed, e
hesshea ehildrPs, By their parents,
without he consent % ksowIedRs, and
While yet ia . state q infaacy. He
might e. wen blindfoid himselL end
rush into q great assembly ssd Selsci
companion e raodO@. Psssnts assI
suppose THAR daaghtess litsle else thar
aseels. IL hey expect 10 bstsOtb them
10 ihis maaner. Asd IL yoang ladies
ere 20 superficial in eharaeiss aad e.
cOmpiishments. - moi 10 sdmit ~ sseh
honorable and wise seFuiiay, they bed
better give up the idea q mavisd hfe
and become nnns 81 onee. 8ueh should
b. the sentiments on this subject, thai
every youns gsnslsmsa should feel
himself e. liberty 10 make every Ne
eessoFy iavesiiRaiioa q character
without subiseiing himself % Ne 70.
pogt q beiag eagagsd. o. 81 other thas
honorable iEasntioss, 4. disappOintsd
be sees 6t 70 Fetire.
4. Neifheg does En- engagemeas con.
sisl 10 TIE most unqosiiasd dselasasins
~ love On he psFi a sSihss ne gsa'
ilsmsn o. lady. The aay Ell BE-. ye'
no obligssioos ere sssuasd, no con
tract u fssmed. Add yet there ns'
those gho suppose that declarations o
aiiaehment impose 81 obiigatioa o.
their friend which caaBot BE- Fesisies
- etnf~fo1 Tha ~..tf~-.nm 49,