Litchfield enquirer. [volume] (Litchfield, Conn.) 1829-current, 1836-04-07

We told him that he had fully satisfied
us that IL was indeed hard times. so far "a
the times concerned him-that he MIGHT 90
to Illinois, Michigan, or any where else.
aud rest assured that they would follow him
unless he "Iurned over a new leaf" and
that he might as soon expect to get rid Of
" original SIM" as poverty in the course he
was pursuing. That if he wanted better
times to stop grumbling and go home
ShingIc his houSe-brush up his farm-and
remember in future to always have his dish
right side up.
TRIALS OF A sCHoOLMASTER.
Master. Boys-Noall had three sons
Shem, Ham, and Japhet. Now who was
the father Of Noah's three sons?'
(The boys Of the third class pause
look dubious at their teacher-but there is
no repIy.)
Master. what! can't you tell 2 Let
the illustrate. Here's Mr.. Smith, our next
neighbor, he has three suns, John, James. j..
and Joseph Smith. Now, who is the fnth-
er OF John, James, and Joseph Smith q
Boys; AN together, in eager, emulous
strife,) Mr.. Smith,
@""S'S'' certainty tnat'S correct
Wen, now let turn us to the first question:
Noah had three sons-Shem, Ham, and
Japhet. Now, who was the father Of No
ais three sons.'
Boys. Unanimously, after little hes
itation.) MIR. Smith 2
A late Dublin Magazine has story some-
what akin to this, save, that the teacher and
pupil were alike lhickheaded. An Irish
tutor is examining lad in Scripture His
tory,
Tutor, SIS there any account given in
Scripture. Phelim, OF a dumb haste speak,
ing?
Lad. YES
Tut. 'What dunn haste was it that
spokcl'
Lad. 1t was whale!'
Tut. To whom did the whale spake2'
Lad. ITO Moses in the bull-rushes!'
Tut, 'True. What did the whale say
to Moses in the bull-rushes2'
Lad. almost thou persuadest me to
be Il Chris,ian!'
Tut. Very we'll. What was Moses
replyr
Lad. sThou art the mani
Could there be any thing more broadly
burlesque than this
A NATURAL CoNsEouENcE.-Ag entle-
man having discharged his man.servant for
disobedience oforders, another called upon
him the following morning, to effect his
| services, and his character proving good,
they were accepted. Giving his orders
| afterwards, the master thus addressed the
servant In order to retain your present
situation, and gain my good graces, you
have nothing else to do but pay attention
to these two words-MIND CONSEQUENCES:
for INSTANCE, if tell you to lay the cloth,
, you must CONSEQUENTLY pnt the knives,
! forks, and plates upon it. Whenever you
open the door, you must CONSEQUENTLY
| shut it after you" John promised to be-
obedient; and his master happening to
fall i'll a few days after, he was dispatched
for an apo,hecary, who lived at the end of
the street. One, two, three hours, how-
ever, elapsed, aud neither John nor the
impat;ence was by this time wound up
to the highest pitch, was at length inform-
ed, that six gentlemen, headed by his new
servant, we're waiting without to speak to
him. Surprised at such number Of unin-
vtted guests, he gave orders for John to
come in and inform him who they were.-
why, SIR" said tho we'll meaning fellow,
who had caught his masters words as he
was entering the room, "you know you
told me always to mind consequences, SO ]
thought if you wanted the apothecary, you
would consequently soon have OCCASION for
the physician, and when the physician
makes his appearance, the updertaker must
consequently soon follow, the undertaken
renders necessary the sexton, who is cons
sequently followed by the grave diggerS
thus, sir, have only fulfilled your direc-
tions, to mind consequences" The reason
was an irrefragabIe one and the servants
Interpretation. together with the sight Of
the motley assemblage he had brought with
him, excited so much laughter in his mas
ter, that il probably proved full as ofica-
cous as the medicine Of the apolhecary.
in promoting his cure,
I LIFE OF WOMEN IN THE EAsT.--To
live for one single man and with one SIM
gle thought, in the interior Of their apart
ments, TO pass the day on divan, plating
their hair, and disposing the numerous
Jewels they wear, with grace and elegance;
to breath the cool air from the mountain or
sea from off the terrace, or through the ops
| enings of a trellised window; to walk
while under the orange trees and ponce
granates Of little garden, to ruminate on
tho banks of a reservoir, which the falling
water animates with its mUrmur; 70 takS