Litchfield enquirer., 1836-07-21
BY REouEsr1

since il has been nly fortune (go0d or bat
! will not say to exercise myself in lega
disquisitiOns, it has never before befallsr
me to be obliged 10 denounce a breach O
the peace SO enormous aud transcendins u
the one claiming your attention. "A more
barbarous, direful, marked, and nlurderou'
battery, aud finally, a more diabolical breach
Of the peace has seldom happened in CIV
iIiSed country, aud dare say it has sell
dom been your duty to pass upon one so
shocking to the benevolent feeling as this,
which took place over at Captain Rice's in
this county; but you will hear from the
Witnesses" The witnesses being sworn,
two or three we're examined, and deposed
one, that he heard the noise, but didn't see
the fght-anotlier, that he saw the row,
bmt he don't know who struck first and
the third, that he was very drunk. and
couldn't say much about the scrimage.
Lawyer Chops. Lam sorry gentlemen to
have occupied so much Of your time with
the stupidity of the witnesses examined. 1t
arose, gentlemen, altogether from appre-
hens'on on my part. Had / known, as /
now do, that had witness in attendance,
who was we'll acquainted with all the cir,
cumstances Of the case, and who was able
to make himself clearly and in,elligibly I'M
derstood by the court and jury, should
not SO long have trespassed on your time
and patience. Come forward, Mr.. Harris,
and be sworn
So forward comes the witness, a fat,
chuffy looking man, a 'leetle' corned, and
took his corporal oath with All air.
Chops. MIR. Harris, we wish you to tell
all about the riot that happened the other
day at Capt. Rice's, aud as a good deal Of
time has been already wasted in circumlo-
cution, we wish to be as compendious and
at the same time as explicit as possible.
Harris. Edzactly,' giving the lawyer
knowing wink, at the same time clearing
his throat--' Capt. Rice, he gin treat,
and Cousin Sally billiard, she came over
to our house and axed me il my wife, she
monghtn't 60 Il told cousin Sally billiard
that my wife was poorly; being as how
she had touch Of the rI,eumatics in the
hip, and the big swamp was up, for there
had been heap Of rain lately but how
somever as it was she mought; cousin Sal
ly billiard, then axed mo if Moses. he
moughtn't go. / told cousin Sally billiard
as how that Moses, he was the foreman Of
tho crop, and the crop was smartly in the
grass, but hOwsomever as it was she, cousin
Sally billiard, Moses he mought 60.
Chops. In the nama of common sense.
ne. Harris, what do you mean by this rig
n,arole :
Witness. Captain Rice, he gin treat,
and cousin Sally billiard, she came over
to our house aud axed me il my wife she
moughn't go. told cousin Sally billiard
Chops. Stop sir. if you please; we don't
want to hear any Thing about cousin Sally
billiard aud your wite-tell US about the
fight at Rice's. .,...
Witness. Well, will, ifyou will let me.
Chops. Well, sir, 60 on.
Witness. Well Captain Rice he gin a
treat, and cousin Sally billiard came over
10 our house and asked me IL my wife
moughn't GO.
Chops. There il is again-witncss, wit
ness, l say witness, please to stop.
Witness. Well sir, what do you want -?
Cbops. We want to know about the fight,
and YOU must not proceed in this imperti-
nent story--do you know any thing about
Witness. To BIZ sure ] do.
Chops. Will you 60 on and tell it and
nothing else?
Witness. Well. Captain Rice he GIN
treat
Chops. This is intolerable! May it
please the COURT move that this witness
be committed for a contemplate seems to
me to be ,rifling with the court.
Court. Witness you are now before
court ofjustice, aud unless you behave your
self in more becoming manner. you will
be sent to Jail; so begin and tell what you
know about the fight at Capt. Rice's.
Witness. (alarmed) Well. gentlemen,
Capt. Rice he gin treat, and cousin Sally
billiard
Chops. hope that witness may be or
dered into custody.
Court. (after delibera,ing) Mr.. Attorney.
the court is Of opinion that we may save
time by telling the witness to 60 Oh in his
own way. Proceed Mr.. Harris with your
story, but stick to the point.
Witness. Yes, gentlemen well. Capt.
Rice, he gin Il treat, aud cousin Sally Dill
lard. she came over to our house, aud AK
ed ME if NV wife n'oughtn't 60. ] told
cousin Sally billiard that my wife was
poorly, being as how she had the The0ma-
tics in the hip, and the big swamp was 10
the road, and The big ron was up but how
somever, as i. was she, cousin Sally Dill
lard, my wife n,ooght 60. Well. cousin
Sally billiard then asked me il Nose, he
mough,n't 60. l told cousin Sally Dill
lard as how Nose, he was the foreman Of
the crop, and the crop was smartly in the
grass: but howsOn'cver. as il was she,
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