South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1836-08-27

any woman can ever find IN the arm
| Of reckless and unprincipled debau-
| chez.
DR.. Hs** Js#*ssa was one Of the
most able, talented and eccentric sur
geoDs OF the last century. His practice
embraced a large circuit, and his fame
extended to every part Of the State
The DR.. was one morning sitting in
his Office pouring over some medical
work fresh from the mother country
| via Boston, when loud rap at the
door aroused him. "Come in" said
| the DR.. and an old lady hobbled into
the apartment who seemed the very
| embodiment of dirt and negligence.
'Drl 1've got desp'rate sore foot
can you help IL"
81 will try let me see H."
The old crone proceeded to divest
her understanding Of the apology for
a horse with which it was covered, and
displayed to the astounded DR.. foot
and such foot
"My G-d!" exclaimed the DR..
throwing up both hands 10 amazement
-"what dirty foot /"
La! Dr.-ye needn't be in such a
wondernment about it--there's dirtier
feet than that in the world--l'se war
rant AYE, and dirtier foo, than that
in your own house as proud as the
young ladies', your daughters are--for
all tbat"--and the old bag cracked
forth her pleasure at the Dr's aston
ishment.
"Woman if you can find a dirtier
foot than that in my house, will give
guinea and cure your foot for moth
ing"
"'Pon honor 7" said the Beldome.
"'Pen honor" cried the DR..
The old woman stript off the other
stocking, and displaying foot that
bsggared all description, grinned in the
facs Of the astounded DR.. exclaiming,
"Gie'me the guinea Gie'me the gum.
ca know'd i'll know'd it | wash
ed s'other fore | come here 10
N. II. Gazette.
Afaithul WDs.-At the N. York
Police Office lately, man was exam
ined for cruelty beaAing his wife, on
being placed at the Rar, the wife re-
fused to say word against her lord
and master ;"he had right to do it,"
she exclaimed, sand deserved 1t well;
he shall wallop me whenever he pleas
es, and not darned constable shall
interfere" Talk Of the ancien. mod
els of domestic affection and obedience,
indeed none can be found equal to
this.
DR.. Zimmerman attended the King
of Prussia during his last illness. The
monarch said, swell, doctor, l sup
pose you have helped many into the
other world" Not so many as your
Majesty" replied Zimmerman, nor
with SO much honor to myself"
Political Dandy;sm.-"I WISH"
said an honest western Van Buren,
man, that my candidate was less Of a
"dandy." "Aye, aye" said another,
81 told him l'other day to shave of his
big whiskers, and leave his rings and
gold chains, and dress like sedate
man." This reminds us of old Noble,
Of the Senate, from Indiana. Mr.. NO
BILE had a'judiciary bill of great inter-
est to his State, before the Senate,
which no could not some how or other
get through. A. late period of the
session he called up the bill but it was
opposed in consequence of the Chair
man Of the Judiciary Committee { Mr..
Van Buren, being absent. "What am |
to do MIR. Chairman said Mr.. Noble.
What am / TO tell my constituents a.
bout this bill. All can say is, that
the bill soas put in charge Of a little
bald headed old dandy aoho is eter-
naAy running after and chatting to
the girls" Now there is great deal
of Il nth in this. Instead OF Van Bu-
rem being the steady, sedate, sober
minded man calculated for the head OF
great nation, and thinking only of
the public good, he is the "glass OF
fashion and mirror Of taste"-prides
himself upon the neatness and exqol-
site style of his dress +; his acquain-
lance with SUSSEX s he Familiarity calls
the Duke, and other princes OF the
blood, reminds as Of George the