Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1836-09-08

man wise; he deserves purgstory Who
makes her wretched.
THE DocToR ourwtrrED.
- DR.. Hsss Js.ssss Was ono Of the
most sble, taiented and eccentric Sur
geons Of The last century. HE prac-
sies embraced large circuit. and his
fame extended 20 every part Of the
State. The Dr.. was one morning sit-
ting an HE Office. poring over some
medical work, fresh from the mother
country, via Boston. when loud rap
at the door aroused him. Come in
said the Dr.. and m old lady kobbled
into the apartment, who seemed the
very embodiment Of dirt and negii-
gence.
: DBL I've got desp'rsts sora foot
can you help itf te
Il viii try--lct me see it.
The old cronc proceeded to divest
her undvsfsndiag Of the apology for q
hose with which Il was covered. snd
displayed to the astounded Dr.. foot
and such q footi
80 My Cdr exclaimed the Doctor,
throwing up both hands. in amazement
what dirty foot 7
sLal Dr.-ye needn't be in such
wonderment about it-therc's dirsier
feet than that in the world-In war
rant ye. and Q dirtieF foot than that in
your own house. as proud a. the young
ladies. your daughters, are-for all that
--and the old bag eackled forth her
pleasure Il the Doctors establishment.
Woman = said the Dr., If you can
End . diriier fool than that in my house
! will give yoa guinea, and cure your
foot for nothing.
.'Pon honor f-said the BedIam.
''Pon honor i'-cried the DR..
The old woman stript of The other
stocking, and displayed foot that beg
CARED all description. grinned in the
face OF the asiounded Dr., exclaiming.
Gle me the gnineal-Cie' me the
guineaI know'd it'll know'd IL! I
wash'd 'toiher fore I come here!'
Meg Hsmpstire Gazette.
Moi Bad.--A green. good-natured.
snoney-making. up-country Jonathan,
who SAID every thing drily, 4" got things
6xed." and struck up bargain for ma
irimony. Having no peculiar regard
for appearances. the parties agreed 70
employ . gEeen-horn country justice
60 put on the taekling. He commenc.
ed the ceremonies by remarkine that
lit was customary on such occasions
70 commences with prayer, but he be-
heved he would omit that" After
Eieing the knot. he said il was " custo-
mary to give the married couple some
advice. but he believed he would omit
that also---it was customary to kiss the
bride, but he believed he would omit
that" The ceremony being ended,
Jonathan took the squire by the bat.
son-hole, and, elapping his finger on
his nose. said, sssgsIire, lie customary
20 give the magistrate Ave dolIars--6Et
Z bsifsvs RI eait that"
Not Bed. sfther.--Nos long since
awc milk men, (John and Joseph, } de.
siroos Of obtaining specie, fpennies1
which they were much ia want Of. "a.
paired 10 the Mint, and received go
each. and on their way home, stopped
si PUBLIC hotse, 70 pafake Of glass
o. the delicious malt. While enjoying
e, John observed that his purse was
very heavy, holding up the pennies.
XesF says bystander, who knew
they were psnnies, 'n they were half
yoes they would be valuable.' I'm
bet bofile 81 tsias they are, repIied
John. Done, said HE interroTator.
Prove H.. 10. amt these half yoursp'
'YsSi' I'm take ciarpaign.'
R{gh 9aayl.--A vidowsF Of TIRE,
wiyes. from The Eastern Shoe. lsaolv
took Z into bis head 10 address voonS
LADY ofthis city. The fsis one der.uy.
sed, On aeeount Of HE having buried
90 msny better halves.' 'Oh. Mis-
ssid tho genHemsn. 'doar Be AZ aiII
alarmed on thas score; my two frs,
wives mads pretty quick work e 4. A
- suse. but ny lest krsf rtgtf srsnyf---
eas bed On full ihrss yssrs.'
- fsiy Businesses trmssaefion We
ere infoTned thai z nan IN eeahr,ot
~ ~ recently soid he wife 70 one of
re nslghsoFs foF f,sssfp.fcs doEza,s and
threw hla three children into the b,r.
Eain. We have heard before az A..
gnlpfse iro9hlsthis Il iiierllv k..,,.. |
ji.-- LlWff3 0ar6ife
- sssaAess roaf-