Cheraw gazette. [volume] (Cheraw, S.C.) 1835-1838, 1836-12-06
TIE WORKINGS OF MY HEART ~ AFFLlCTIoN.
(By COrJct.)
Angus! ), 1850.

August ), 1850.
TIE will of God in laying this alIlic,ion
upon me, | unftigncdly approve as holy.
Just, and good. And | am unfeigncdIy
willing 10 bear the aflliction, as it is an evil
laid upon me BY his will, till the time come,
in which he thinks fit to remove it. |
watch, and pray, and strive, that may not
give way 10 rcpining thought against his
holy hand. In this point the spirit is will
ling, but the flesh is weak. Ny mind doth
really consent to Gods dispcnsa;ion, and
TO my submission, as being most agreeable
to his wise and gracious government, and
most conducive to my salvation. But my
sensitive part, and my mind also, as it is in
part unrcnewed, weak, & sinful, doth greatly
oppose so that | am put hard to il, and
must say, | am willing, Lord. help my
unwillingness. have not observed, in tie
several days, that thought Of direc1 or
positive dlScontentment, or vcya,lous COM
motion ofmnd, hath been admitted by me !;
nevertheless, | sec to ny grIct, that fall
exceeding short Of that qlicincss, content
ment and chccrtuncsS inmv condition, and
Of that frccncss OF seIf.rcsigna:on 10 God 5
will, that desire, and his goodness calls for
| wrcstle with God sby imporunate Prayer,
that this thorn in the flesh might depar from
me; that this d;stemper might be removed;
or so mitigatcd, that | might be in some
comfortable ease, and get more cheerful
freedom in doing my du.y. Yet would
not wrest this relief out Of his hands unsea-
sonably, and without his good will, ard his
blessing. | would wait his time, desire to
have it with lis love and favour, and with q
saving benefit. And so my earnest desire
thereof is limited with submission to his holy
will. Yet | find that this SUBMISSION is no
easy matter, but that | must take pains with
my own heart, and that it is God, who must
work my heart TO it, and keep under the
flesh, which is always ready to rebel. 1t is
hard to be willing to bear my wearisome
condition and, oh how weak is my hear,
and ready 10 sink, if it be not upheld by a
strength above my own Oh let his grace
be sufficient for me, and let his power be
made perfect in my weakness.
| feel myself bcttered in the inner man,
by this Christening. 1t hath furthered NOR
litigation, and sclf.dcnial, and done much TO
the breaking of the heart of pride, and TO
bring me on towards that more perfect self.
examination for which | labour. 1t hath
much deadened the world to me, and my
desire to the world. 1t makes me know in
earnest the emptiness Of all creatures, and
how great my concern is in God. 1t drives
me close to him, and makes me to fetch all
my comforts from him. see of how little
value all outward contentmcnts are and
not only in my present afflicted state, but if
were at ease, and in full prosperity. The
sense Of this benefit to my soul is the great
means of bringing my will to that weak de-
gree of submission TO Gods will, to which
| have attained.
Oh that | could live more by faith in this
trying atllic.ion. cndeavour to impress
upon my soul those arguments which the
Scripture affords lorp patience and long suffer
ing with joyfuncss. But this will not do the
work, unless the spirit of faith and patience
be given from him, from whom comes down
every good and perfect gift. pray, cry
to my Father, he would give me the Holy
Spirit, according to his gracious promise.
that | might show forth the power of his
grace, and that | might not dishonor him,
nor discourage his children, nor rcproach
religion by my weakness. And in my
bearing of it well, my reputation is nothing
regarded by Inc, in Comparison with the
honour of Christ. Him | desire to glorily
both in my obedience and patience. do
not love God the less, because ofhis correct
ing hand upon me. AS my necessities
drive me, so his love draws me, and my
love brings me to him. | look to him as
my Father: and shall | not honor my Faith
er, and give him reverence when | am
chaStcned ofhim! The Lord is my portion,
saith NY soul, therefore will hope in him.
| will wait for the Lord. who hideth mis- face
| will look after him; he retaneth not his
anger forever. because he delightcth in
mercy. Therefore he will turn again, and
have compassion upon me. If he kill me, |
will put my trust in him for he will not
cast me off forever, if | cleave to him with
faith unfeigned; but even through death it.
sclfwill he save me. He will bring me
forth to the light, and | shall hehold his
When say, What shall |
do, in case ofsuch or such troublesome or
dangerous consequences? my heart an
swers, Be not careful, God will provide; |
will leave it 10 him.
From The Adrocate Of Moral Reform.
BEGIN IN SEASON.