Rutland herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1823-1847, 1836-05-03


mess Of his feelings or he wit. wishing To- banter I
,es'y old gentleman. who had complete garnished |
he monh with e complete Get false teeth nippani- I
ly inquired Wen my good sir have often heard /
YOU complain of your mssticaiots--pray when do 1
you expect TO be again uoub'ed with The tooth (
ache ? When yuu have an affection ofihc heart
~ brsu Grycr, wa, The reply No, less ready
and biting was tlc rc,oit Of the hong cared Irish.
man. " ho beng hant,rugly askcd.--'laddy my
icWci who don't YOU get your cars cropped -
Theyarc 700 large for man replied, And yours
are too small for ass
III. c.. keen sportsnon, provoked by
cockney horscman who had riddol over two Of his
hounds could not forbear swearing at him for his
awkardness. SIR said the offender, drawing
up both himself and his horse. and assuming very
consequential look 4 beg to nflrm sou tina, did
not come out here to be damned Why then sir
you msy 90 home and be damned
IAN empty headed youth once bostcd that he
had been TO two ofthe most celcbred schools IN
England Sir said a by-s'andcr you remind me-
OF the calf that sucked two cows. And what was
the consequence 'Why,sr, he vas very great
calf
"!SAoohag the Long Bou-S stretching fact till
you have made il long as 700 want ii. Lord
Herbert Of Cbetburys tastes have locendod Of some
of our modern nobility, for he tell us in his auto
biography, The exercise chief, use, and most
recommended to my postorty, were rIding the
great horse and fencing. do ouch approve like
wise OF shooting in The long tour. So does our in
genous contemporary, Lord @, who never
suffers himscfto be out Stripe, in the marvellous
The Marquis ofIi--had Engaged the attention
of dinner party by stating thu he had caught
pike, the day before which weighed nineteen
pounds Pooh cried Lord c., that is
! IN hp | lnst
weighed fifly-sx pounds. 'Haug it, whispered
the marquis to his neghbor, wish ! could catch
my pike again; would add tan pounds 10 him d.
rectly.'
Oar next are rather more srious specimens;
Postlumow Giory.-A revenue payable to our
ghosts and igaus fltuus az exhalation arising
from the ashes and corruption Of the body the
glow worm of the grave a Jack-o' lantern, Of
which skeleton is the Jack; and the lantern
dark one; prolracted oblivion; the short twilight
tina, survives the setting of the vital sun, and is
presently quenched IN the darkness of night.
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, may be sad of
our name, as well as ofour frame one is buried
eJS foaP Hi'S sci l e 2et Mf Up hollow sound
which, ate, few faint echoes, dies and is buried
IN obvious silence That fleeing noise is our
poshumous renown. Living glory is the advan-
tage ofbeing known to those whom you don't
| know posthumous glory is enjoying celebrity
| from which you can derive enjoyment, aud
enabling every puppy in existence to feel his super
ion'y over you by repeating the old dlctum, that
a living dog is better than dead lion, or by quot
ing from Shakospcarc- like not such grinning
honor as Sir Walter hath'
"Scandai-What one half the world takes a
pleasure in inventiOg, arathe other hofn behcv-
ing.
"SauG-Drt thrust up the nosrils with a pig
like snort a sternuatory, which is not to be
snoezed at, The moment ne has thus defeated
his own object, the snunling snuff taker becomes
the slave of habit, which literally bring his nose
to the grinds;onc.
"Iomb. A house built for skeleton; dwell
ling Of lptIred marble, provided for dust and cor
ruPtion; monument set up to perpetuate the me-
mory of-the forgotenl3).
"T6npge.-The mysterious membrane tina. turns
thought into sound.f4) Drink is It's oil eating
its drag
"Horl4-&c-A great inn, kept in perpetual
hustle by arrivals aud departures; by the going
away of those who have just paid their bills Nhe
debt Of nature,) and the coming Of those who will
soon have n similar account TO settle ;-DecessioH
perantum, a suctessio perihrorum"
And The last which lsa playful though some
what touching and exceedingly appropriate terml-
nation 10 this pleasing miscellany -
"IOuth-a magic antern,thot surrounds Us with
illusions which excite pleasure surprise, and adj
mraion, whatever be their nature. The old age
Of the sensual and the vicious is the same lantern
without lis mogc--the glasses broken,and the Iu'
sions gone, while the exhausted lamp, threatening
every moment to expire, sheds CHASTITY glare, moi
upon fair tablecIoth, fol- Of ioc0nd associstona
bot upon what appears TO be dismal shroud, pre-
pared 70 receive DOR remains. And 40" gentle
reader, or rather may call you simple IL you have
waded through this strange tarrogo, here Will
bring it t. a close hoping by It's example the better
to impress upon yon the pithy precep', that al
our flHes aal friyout,e-. an our crude and uu
drested no,iona an our "baid and di-joi0,e,
talk should Ike ,hls little volume, serminate viii
Youth"
A selection Of poems conclude the volume, on
Of which SIC also add an example &C the winter
talent in that way. lie shli! uot have TO say tina
be was prose-scrbed BY the Literary GaseHe -
.yuHngs he ismpi' Of Nature.
I Msa can build nothing worthy Of his Maker
From roYuI solomon, stupeDdous fame,