Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1836-09-15
N ! s G z I. Z. A II z.
MATRIMONIAL ENGAGEMENT

work, entitled "Courtship and Mar
rage" recently published, by the Re,
]. M. Davis, the question of what con
stitutes promise of marriage is thu:
treated. We copy 1t for the sake o.
the interest which naturally attaches
to this subject in the estimation of that
numerous class, embraced under the
head of wooed and won:"
The most interesting and decisive
period in the history of courtship re.
mains to be considered. We have en-.
deavored TO conduct the enquirer after
truth along from one step to another,
till we have brought him to that point
when he is prompted, not only by his
affections, but by regard for his own
character and the character of his
friends to make those declarations OF
attachment and love which, if recipro-
Gated, shall prepare the way for the as
sumption Of duties the most binding
and solemn. What, then, is the ma
ture of betrothment =! And what are
the circumstances which will render
it null and void?
/. | remark that matrimonial en-.
gagement, does not consist in any of
the civilitics and courtesies ofli which
a gentleman may extend to a lady.
1t is not unfrequently the case, how
ever, that these are mistaken for dec
laration of love, and the announcement,
| is made at once, that such persons are
engaged. Such is the imprudence of
friends, often, and more frequently Of
the lady herself that the common po-
likeness and attention, which are ever
due between the sexes, are construed
into proposals for matrimony, and a
young gentleman hears the report of
his engagement, while as yet not even
a dream Of the thing has passed through
his own mind, By such imprudence,
the lady sewers herself from the socie-
ty, perhaps, of an honorable and poll
ished mind land brings upon herself and
friends 1.-THE modification and daps-
pontment which will inevitably follow
in such cases. If a gentleman attend
lady to church, if he escort her to
the public assembly, if he walk with
her in the street, if he occasionally vi
sit her for the sake Of her good society
the report is not unfrequontly set on
foot, by some mischief maker or indis.
Greet friend, that the parties are enga-
ged to be married.
2. Neither does an engagement con-
sist in any politeness or social inter-
course, which lady may extend to q
gentleman.
There are young gentlemen, how
ever, of such consummate vanity as to
suppose that such treatment is nothing
less than the strongest inclination of
personal attachment. If lady so
much as look at them, they fancy that
it must be love affair, and equivalent
to the most direct proposals for matri-
mony. A smile, compliment, So
cial interview, a walk or ride of pleas
ure, is set down by such conceited cox
combs as the most unequivocal decla.
ration of love. They tell Of the con.
quest they have made with an air of
triumph, and never know their mistake
till they learn it in that reserve and
neglect which their conduct so richly
deserves.
| Neither does an engagement con-
slst in any of these preliminary steps,
which are so important, in order to
Just estimate Of the character and qua
lifcations of the person with whom
| you would be united for life.
Many persons, however, imagine
that every such step is a step of CON-
initial. While the individual is only
forming a wise estimate, and making
those judicious investigations which G.
very one is bound omake in this affair,
by a regard to his own happiness and
that of others, he is considered asfair-
ly committed, without the possibility
Of honorable retreat. But this is all
wrong, whether it be the sentiment of
individuals or public sentiment. The
| very opJeCt vi no Ae90oioAO" 10 w u"
certain if the character and qualifca-
tons oftheperson are such as will make
him happy companion for life. WI
thout such investigation he might as
well commit his interest in this matter
to lady whom he had never beheld.
He might as we'll be betrothed, as hea-
then children by their parents, without
his consent or knowledge, and while
yet in state of infancy. He might
as we'll blindfold himself and rush into
a great assembly, and select a com.
panion at random. Parents must sup
pose their daughters little less than an
gels, if they expect to betroth them in
this manner. And if young ladies are
so superficial in charcter and accom-