South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1836-05-28
SATURDAY, MAY %. 1896.
Miscellaneous.

Miscellaneous.
~. The great Zimmerman justly
observed that-sThere is always some.
thing great in that man against whom
the world exclaims at whom every
one throws stone and on whose char.
acter all attempts to fix 1000 crimes
without being able to prove one.'
Il sound truth but a poor reason
Dick Lazybones was sent to school
like other boys; but be brought moth
ing away, excepting now and then a
sound basting. When required, one
day to spell word Of three sylables,
he asked the teacher which end he
should begin.
"Which end I! why at the beginning,
you lazy brat"
"I'd rather not, sir" said Dick, 'pd
rather begin at the last syllable, if twill
answer your purpose just az WE'LL"
"Al the last syllable ~
"Yes, Sir-'cause then you see there
won't be near so much to 60 through
| with" -
DYING ADVICE OF A LOVER.
Gentlemen lovers, be cautious IL
speak in the language Of sad expert
ence! implore you to beware OF
treading 10 my footsteps, and arriving
at the same heart.rending result! !
Yves once lover, loved to devotion
Il. was my only thought--is formed
| my meditations by day, and my dreams
by night-but alas the thought is
chilling, sickning to my very soul ii
| wooed my charmer successfully; she
gave way to my exhortations ;-she
smiled when l smiled ;-sighed when
sighed, and sympathized with me 10
my every pleasure, my every pain.
You wonder, then that long ere this she
| is not mine. O. awful fate IL am
sinking rapidly to the grave--,he lamp
! Of life is Pickering away in its sockets
my pulse beats slowly every mo-
ment. r<.
| / said l loved her, and that my love
was reciprocated. But Oh sad mis-.
fortune cruel destiny II forgot to
profit by the advice given me by my
dear departed father on certain butch.
e.iug day he said to me, "My son, l
wish thee to catch the calf belonging to
our cow:-go warily about the work, 81
before thou offerestto catch the calf,
give the old COW nubbin."
| Alas 4! woe is me loved my dar.
ling to distrac,ion-I paid all my atten-
tons to her, instead Of rendering al
least half to her ma ! received the
daughters consent and the mothers
refusal Profit by my tale ye love
sick swains :-bless my memory when
my spirit shall have fled its earthly
Observation-Disclosures the sentiments
here contained ia the minds of your
prattliug children, and when your
grandsons shall cling around your
knees, narrale to them my sad fatal end !,
and tell them never 10 forget, when
they want to catch the calf, to give the
old coto q nubbia !-Catfsh Herald.
"Give me cent" said black-eyed
urchin Of five, to his teacher, the other
day. "What will you do with it ~
"Why, I'll buy two pipes" said the
boy as he drew from his pocket dirty
half fig of tobacco, 'aad we'll have a
smoke
A Paris correspondent of the New
York Commercial, thus describes the fa-
tai Guillotine, that awfully expeditions
instrument of death, which has become
so frightfully identified with the history
of France.
Shall I describe the instrument by
which they were beheaded 7 shall
do so in few words. CeNeeiSe Of q
scaffold some 16 or 20 feet square, and
six or eight in elevation. Between the
centre and one side of it stands frame
much like that ofan ordinary door.on
ly not so wide. The two upright posts
ofthis frame are grooved on the inside,
and in these grooves are set the are,
as it is called, which is rather an i'm
mense cleaner, not placed exactly hor-
izontal, but making an angle with the
horizon. By means Of pulleys and
cords this axe is drawn up to the top
of the frame. The convict is station