The Arkansas advocate., 1835-06-05
wanted was three letters to my name. flaw, haw halr t--get the shingle Natfy
 N.
From the Gentleman's yade aleeunl.

SlIf POLICE SCENES.---"lt IS most aS@ tonishing," said Richard Mervyn, as he re- linq0ished the attempt to rise from the gut ter at the corner of Sixth and Prune sis.-- ''it is really astonishing how soon this dreadful climate of America brings on old age. l shall never survive to got homo and write hook about the pace-never. Here am l, six feet two, without my stock lngs, sprawllng. in dirty republican gutter, without being able to help myself out of t. There's that lamp winking and blink ing in my face, as if it wants to laugh, and would if 1t had a mouth and big brute Of dog just now nosed me 10 see wheth- CT was good to eat. What country! what gutters! and what liquor! only took nine swallers of whiskey, and what with that and the premature old age, I yeri- y believe Pm assassinated-I'm a gone chicken p
 MT, Meryyn now clamored so loudly that assistance soon came.
 aSience there Whats the matter ?,
 "Matter yourself--fm being done, or as some people say, Pm doing. The march of mind has ripped, and Richard Mervyn is { too deep for himself. Help me out--gent- ly-there. Aint in pretty pickle This is what the doctors call saaa serena isn't t?o
 .sWhen I was at school. the boys would have called you a guttural.n
 ttfhey would nt have known much gram mar If they did- Pm a liquid-see me drp.o
 s'0h! ho P said inc watch, "dont try to be funny ]; l know you we'll enough, now you've. wiped your face. You're tho chap that locked me up in my box once, and when ] burst open the door you knocked me heels over head, and legged it''
 "That's me, l did that thing. How did you like the ups and downs of public life? Isn't variety charming? p
 .'H t wasn't that Pm public function- ary and mustn't give way to my feelings. I'd crack your cocoa, and ease my mind by doing as was done by. Ill make an ex- ample of you, however. You're my pris- oner. Hattay eoosha5 10 the watch'us.-- That's the Dutch for being tuck up.''
 s.Neli, give Us yoIr arm. Don't Do afraid of tho mud. Gutter mud is very wholesome.
 Look al the pigs, how fat it makes lem; and If you like fat pork, why shouldn't you like what makes pork fat ?- So-se-stea- dy. Now, I'll tell you all about t'other night. l was passing your box in friend l ly, promiscuons sort of way. thought you were asleep, or had run down, and turned the key to wind you up. If q watch ain't wound up, it can't either keep good time, or even go."
 1 ssWell, what else P
 .Why, then l watched the box, and 1 when you came out, boxed the watch.--- That's all. It grew out of ny obliging disposition.
 lila very obliging. Now it's my turn to wind up, and to do it tho same way.4.~ 1 I'll take you before the watchmaser 10 be cleaned and regulated. You 20 too fast, but he'll put spoke in your wheel; he'll set you by the State House, and make you 1 keep good time..
 Why, watchy, you're wag. Why don't you say that was horizontal, and that you lifted ms up like q patent leyerl-- You're wide awake now but that night you weren't up to trap, or you would have caught me. caught weazeI.n
 To add one more 10 his vagaries, Mer- yYn, now refused to walk step further: and sitting down on q step, loudly avowed hls resolution, declaring his name was not ] Walker.
 "Whether you're name is Walker or not you must go.''
 Mot without go-cart you can't force me to go-Pm legal tender, and you must take me. Hay'nt got an office, or at least ain't l in public situation, here on the steps, Mr. Charley Rattletrap? If must go, it shall be on the Yankee principle of rotation; bring wheelbarrow. Reform me out regularly.n
 Persuasion being useless, the officer pro- cured assistance and wheelbarrow, in which Mervyn was placed. Away they went.
 ssso we go,' said Mervyn, "Charley's making barowknight of me. Gently over the stones. I don't like bumpers. when l get them of porter. This is the way to Wheeling--hurra! cart before ths horseln
 When arrived at the watch house, Mer- yyn insisted upon being wheeled up stairs, and styled the place ba,rolr~nial castle.
 si'm modest man, said he, .sand nc starer. If can't have ride up, think myself entitled to draw back.n
 So saying, he attempted to escape, but not being so nimble with his feet as with ms tongue, he was soon caught, and ugged back, being, as he said, like goldsmiths' 1 work, beautifully chased WiIlnu haad-