South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1835-05-30
GETTING AT A SECRET.

GETTING AT A SECRET.
There is superstitious notion prev
alent among the people in some Of the
Middle States, that persons sleeping
may be made to unfold all the secrets
of their breasts, by placing a cup Of
BARN, or yeast, under their heads when
ia ,hat state. The BARN, it is suppos-
ed, works unon them in the same man.
ner as il does upon beer, causing them
to overflow a, the mouth, and TO send
off the spume and impurities where
with their breasts are overloaded. AT
any rate under the operation Of the
BARN, their sleep is said to be any
thing bu, balmy. They toss and tun,.
Bile and talk in their sleep, and their
most precious secrets are blurted out
as if they were ofno more consequence
than the froth of a barrel Of small beer.
Mrs. Dolderum. Of Dolderumville,
was firm believer in the efficacy of
yeast working out the secrets from the
human bosom and she determined to
get at those Of her husband, whom she
suspected OF having another charmer
besides herself. Accordingly one sum.
mer's day, when he lay down to take
his afternoon nap, she placed the yeast
cup under his head, and waited TO see
ito operation.
Scarcely was her faithIess spouse, as
she verify believed him 10 be, fairly a.
sleep, before his arms began to toss,
his lips to culver, and his eyes to roll
under their closed lids.
"Ha ~ muttered Mrs. Doderum to
herself, "the yeast begins to work.
The secret will be out presently. He'll
open his mouth, and work over like a
beer barrel does. Hark! now it comes.
Now shall know what nasty trollep
it is he's SO thick with"
AS Mrs. Dolderum calculated, sure
enough, out came the words "She is
a beauty-by heavens she is !"
"Ah, IFS jest as | thought" said
Mrs. Dolderum to herself, "he's got a.
mother woman in his eye. "a beauty
indeed but Pill"
She was interrupted by the voice Of
Mr.. Dolderum, who continued-"I
must have her, let it cost what it will"
"You must have her-must you ~
said Mrs. Dolderum, advancing her
finger nails menacingly towards him
as he slept-"but III see to that, you
you"
Mr.. Dolderum proceeded-"Bui
what will my wife say z"
"She'Il say you're vile, nasty,
good for nothing man." said Mrs. Dol
derum, who could scarcely keep from
falling upon her delinquent husband,
and clawing his eyes out as he slept.
"My wife is always making fuss
about nothing-"
"She is, ha But she'll let you know
its something before you're much older,
to leave her and run after other nasty
Critters"
"But damn my wife !" exclaimed
Mr.. Dolderum, swapping bis fingers
as he slept, 81 don't care that for her,
when Pm determined upon a thing"
"You don't, ha 7 But III let you
know you shall care for her, you
you'-Oh, I'D tear your eyes out this
minute, il it wasn't that l want to hear
the name of the nasty jade first"
"Slender neck, broad chest, a name
and tell that"
"Very familiar upon my word Oh,
the vile hussy !"
"Just the right age for"
'I'm too old, am |, then ? Oh, you
GLE"
Il must have Black Maria, by the
"Oh the ugly brute Leave me for
a Black woman I'll tear his eyes Out
as he lies." And thereupon Mrs. Dol.
derum fell upon her sleeping husband,
tooth and nail, and by the time he was
fairly awake the blood was rushing
down his face in streams.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. the
devil are you about :" said Mr.. Dol
derum, as soon as he was fairly awake.