The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1835-07-15

know who struck first-and third, that he wa
very drunk, and couldn't say much about tin
scrimmage. ..
Lawyer-I am sorry, gentlemen, to have occu
pied so much Of your time with the stupidity OF tn
witnesses examined. 1t arose, gentlemen altogethe
from a misapprehension on my part. Had know
as now do, that had witness in attendance VIII
was able to make himself clearly and intelligibl
understood by the court and jury, should not $
long have trespassed on your time and patience
Come forward, Mr. Harris and be sworn.
So forward comes the witness, fat, chuffy look
ing man, and took his corporal oath with air.
Lawyer-Mr. Harris, we wish you to tell a
about the riot that took place the other day at Cap
tain Rices, and as a good deal OF time has alread
been wasted in circumlocution, we wish you to b
as compendous and at the same time as explicit a
possible.
Harris" "Edzactly." ."igiving the lawyer acknow
ing wink, at the same time clearing his throat
Captain Rice, ne gin treat, and cousin Sally Dill
lad, she came to house, and axed me if m
wife she moughn't go-I told cousin Sally Diar
that my wife YVES poorly, being as how she had
touch of the rheumatcs, and the big swamp was up
for there had been a heap of rain lately but how
ever'as it was, she, cousin Sally billiard, my wifi
she mought go. Well, cousin Sally billiard the
axed me if Nose, he moughnt go 1 told cousi
Sally billiard that Nose he was foreman of tn
crop and the crop was smartly in the grass but
howsomever, as it, was, she cousin Sally billiard
Nose mought 90.
Lawyer.-In the name of common sense, MI
Harris, what do you mean by this rigmarole
Witness.-Captan Rice, he gin treat and cousi
Sally billiard, she came over to our house, and axe
me if my wife, she mough'nt go. l told cousin Sail
billiard
Lawyer.-Stop, sir, if you please, we don't wan
to hear any thing about cousin Sally billiard ant
your wife, tell about the fight at Rices.
Witness.-Well will, sir, if you will let me.
Lawyer.-We sir, 90 on.
Witness.-WelI, Capt. Rice, he gin treat, ant
cousin Sally billiard, she came to our hous
and axed me if my wife, she mough'nt go
Lawyer.-We want to know about the fight, ant
you must not proceed in this impertinent story. d.
you know any thing about the matter before tn
COURT
Witness.--To be sure do.
Lawyeg.--Wi you 60 oil and tell it, and nothin!
else
Witness-WeIl, Captain Rice, he gin treat
Lawyer.--Tbs is intoIerable May it please thu
court, move that this witness be committed for
contemplate seems TO me to be trifling with th'
court.
Court.--Witness, you are now before a court o
Justice, and unless you behave yourself in more be
coming manner you will be sent to Jail so begin
and tell what you know about the fight at Captain
Rice's.
Witness. (alarmed) We'll, gentlemen, Captair
Rice, he gin treat and cousin Sally Diliard-
Lawyer l hope this witness may be ordered int
custody.
Court, (after deliberatng).-Mr. Attorney, th'
court is of opinion that may time by letting
the witness go on in his own way. Proceed, MIR
Harris, in your story, but stick to the point.
Witness.-Yes gentlemen. Well, Captain Rice
he gin treat, and cousin Sally billiard, she came
over to our house, and axed me if my wife, sh'
mougnnt 60, told cousin Sally billiard, that my
wife poorly, being as how she had the rheu
mates, and the big swamp was up; but howsom.
ever, as it was she cousin Sally billiard, my wife
she mought go. We'll, cousin Sally billiard, ther
axed me if Nose, he moughnt CO. told cousir
Sally billiard as how Nose, he was forenoon of the
crop, and the crop was smartly in the grass-bu
howsomever, as it was she, cousin Sally billiard
Nose he mought GO So on they goes together
Nose, my wife, and cousin Sally billiard, and the,
came to the big swamp, and the big swamp was up a.
was telling you-but being as how there was los
across the big swamp, cousin Sally billiard ant
Nose like genteel folks, they walks the log-but m,
wife like id fool, hoists up her petticoats ano
waded. And, gentlemen, that's the height of wha
know about it,
A PIG is much abused animal. Every unthnk
L.. 4 4 q