The Arkansas advocate., 1835-09-04
From the New York Transcript. POLICE OFFICE.

dts very remarkable thing that the Corporation will put themselves 10 so much trouble and expense in building aratctassses and paying policers and charleys, and all for what why 'pon my perseverance, it's for the pure love that they have for putting people into prison. and giving peaceable folks pain, for which they ought to be pum- meled to death by pismires and subse- quently sent 10 purgatory, for soalless sor- row-seeking sinners. Now here am I. Harry Hairbrain, senlimentally soliloqui- zing on stocks, stars, and the state of the social system, and who knows what may be the lustrous result of my moonlight lucu- brations! We all know what great effects from trivial causes spring. and who knows but might catch an idea by laying here, face upwards, eyes shut, and mouth open, that might help the President to frame an apology, get the dollars from the French, and save our citizens from shedding sinful blood; and so become compound life pre- server!-'Pon my prudence, there's noth- ing so very preposterous in the presump- ton. What though am lying-(no! not lying) reclining-horizontal on the broad of my back, in the bend of the gutter, form ing segment ofa circle between my feet and my forehead, my posteriors forming a dam (dam that mosquito) to the refuse and running rain of the streets? Isn't my situa- ton salubrious? isn't it an enviabIe onel havn't been sweating, stewing and swell tering all day long under scorching sun, thermometer al hundred and six, and hu- man consistency perfectly problematical: the materials of mankind, aye and of woman kind, producing ore weak, washy everlast- ing flood of perspration, so as to render it desperately doubtful whether poor humanity does possess the least consistencq. Can't 1 enjoy ''the feast of reason'' here, and ssthe flow of seul," as well as the flow of gutter mud! Wasn't the Royal psamist once si- milarly situated with merely this simple and solitary exception: that whereas he cried out, the waters are over my head while can say 'the waters are flowing over my tail!' But stop; must not become too high flown in my own vernacular, so Ill warble native street note wild
 ssFlow on, thou gurgling gutter,
 But ere thou reach the drain,
 Tell Charlotte Shocks I'll cut her,
 Unless she ease my pain
 Shocks, dear Charlotte Shocks; at thee again Pm touched upon the tenderest point! did young woman but know what young men suffer for their sweet sakes and souls Gas well as bodies) they would not be bard- hearted. Here for instance, have l, Harry Harbrain, got drunk-no, not drunk (only excited)--have self-denyingly deprived my self of the power of locomoton, and martyr like have scourged myself not with knot of small cords, but with sangaree and mint julaps, until I have become spectacle for gods and men to weep over; all for why? because Charlotte turned me off for a tailor! Oh, Charley! Charley! Charley! what have you to answer for!"
 'sWhy, shall have to answer for your lying here, disturbing my beat, if don't take you up, when you'll have to answer to the Judge for being drunk; so come along," said guardian of the night.
 ssDon't distress yourself, my dear friend; it's sheer mistake to suppose Pm game for you."
 "Then why didn't you sheer of, afore I come in this beat!'
 "Why was beaten (mentally) with ma ny stripes, by my best beloved, and came hero to commune with my own thoughts, and be still.'