Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1835-09-10
raj sc ELLA ~ x.
From the New England Magazine.
, RILL FROM THE TOWN PUMP

| Scene - The corner OF ttc0 pFffscipds sfeets
Io,cn Pump talking through its nose.
Noon. by the north clock! Noon, by
the east! High noon, too, by those hot
sun beams, which fall, scarcely aslope. up
on my head. and almost make the water
bubble and smoke in the trough under my
nose. Truly, we public characters have a
tough time Of il! And, among all the
town officers, chosen at March meeting,
where is he that sustains, for single year
the brrihen of such manifold duties as are
imposed, in perpetuity, upon the I"wn
Pump? The title of town treasurer IS
righllully mine, as guardian OF The best
treasure The town has. The overseers oil
the poor ought TO make me their chairman
since provide beautifully for the pauper,
without expense TO him that pays taxes.
am al the head OF the fire department, and
one Of the physicians of the board of health
As keeper Of the peace. all water drink,
ers will confess me equal to the constah BILE.
perform some of the duties of the town
clerk, by promnlgating public notices,
when they are pasted on my front. To
speak within bounds, am chief person of
the municipality and exhibit moreover, an
admirable pattern TO my brother officers,
by the cool steady, upright, downright,
and impartial discharge of my business.
and the cons,ancy with which ! stand 10
nv post. Summer or winter, nobody seeks
me 10 vain; for all day long am seen at
the busiest corner, just above the market.
stretching out nv arms, to rich and poor
alike; and at night. hold lantern over
my head, both to show where am, and
keep people out of the cutters.
At sultry noontide. am cup-bearer to
the parched populace. for whose benefit
an iron goblet is chained to my waist
Like a dram seller on the mall, on muster
day, cry aloud TO all and sundry, in my
plainest accents, and at the very tip top
of my voice Here it is. gentlemen Here
is the good liquor! Walk up, walk up,
gentlemen. walk up, walk up! Here is
the superior stuff! Here is the unadule
rated ale of father Adam-better than
Cosnac, Hollands, Jamiaca. strong beer,
or wine oil any price here it IS, by the
hogshead or the single glass, and not a
cent to pay! Walk up, gentlemen, walk
up, and help yourselves
II were pity, If all this outcry should
draw no customers Here they come. A
hot day gentlemen! Quaff, and away a
gain, SO as 10 keep yourselves IN nice
cool sweat You, INV friend, viii need an
other cup. full TO wash the dust out of your
throat, If il be as thick there as it is on
your COW. hide shoes. see that you have
trudged half score of miles to day and
like a wise man, have passed by the tav
ems, and stopped at the running brooks
and well cnrbs, Otherwise. betwixt heat
without and fire within, you would have
been burnt to ciuder. or melted down TO
nothing at all, in the fashion oil jelly fish.
Drink, and make room for that other f.l
low who seeks my aid to quench the fiery
fever Of last nights pota,lons, which he
drained from no cup of mine. Welcome.
most rubicund, Sir! You and have been
great strangers, hitherto; nor, 10 confess
the truth. will my nose be anxious for a
closer intimacy. til the fumes of your
breath be little less potent. Mercy on
YOU. mani The water absolutely Kisses
down your red hot gullet, and IS converted
quite into steam in the miniature tophet.
which yon mistake for stomach. Fill "a
gain, and tell me. on the word of an honest
topper, did you ever. in cellar, tavern, or
any kind of dram shop, spend the price OF
your children's food. for a swig half so de
licious? Now, for the first time these ten
wears. YOU know the flavor Of cold water
Good bye; and, whenever you are thirsty
| remember that keep constant supply,
at the old stand. What nextP Oh, my
little friend. you are let loose from school
and come hllher 10 scrub your blooming
| face, aud drown the memory Of certain
| taps OF the ferule, and other school boy
troubles-young life; take it, and may
your heart and tongue never be scOrched
with fercer thirst than now There,
nv dear child, put down The cup, and
yield your place to this elderly gentleman
| who treads so tenderiy over the paving
stones, that suspect be is afraid OF break
ing them. What! He lImps by without
so much as thanking me, as if my hospIa
ble offers were meant only for people who
have no wine cellars. Well. we'll. sir no
harm done, | hope! Go draw the cork,
tin the decanter; but. when your great
toe shall set you roaring, It will DE no
affair Of nine II gentlemen love the plea
SAINT utilization Of the govt. it is all one to
! the Town Pump. This thirsty dog, with
| his red tongue lolling out, does not scoru
my hospitality. but stands on his hind legs
and laps eagerly out of the trough. See
how lightly he capers away aga'n' Jowler
did your NO. ship ever have the gou'P
Are YOU all satisfied ? Then wipe your
mouths, my good friends; and. while my
spout has a moments leisure, will de!gh
the town with few historical "reminiscences
In far antiquity, beneath darksome sha
dow of venerable boughs, aspiring bubblet
out of the leaf strewn earth, IN the veTl
spot where you now behold me on th'
sunny pavement. The water was as brIsh
and clear, and deemed as precious as II
quid diamonds. The Indian sycamore
drank of it. from time immemorIal, I'll
the fatal deluge of the fire water ours
upon the red men. and swept their Who'll