Litchfield enquirer., 1835-12-17

We laughed heartily at the real Yankee quain,ness
of,he following article in late Aoua Scotian pub
Iished a, Iiaax, and perhaps come Of onr s~"tIers
may join II purorts 10 be number 9, Of Recoi-
tec,ions of Nova Scotia" -Beston Courier. ..s.
YANKEE EATING AND HoRsE FEEDING
Did you ever hear tell Of AberDrthy, a British
doctor! said the clock maker. Frequently,
said ], he VAS 40 eminent man. and had most
extensive practice. Well, I reckon he was a
vulgar cri'ter that. he replied. he treated the
honbir. Alder GObbEe, secretary to our Lega-
ton at London, dreadful bad; and guess il
II had been me he had used that way, I'D n
fixed his flint for him, so that he'd think twice
afOre he'd FIRE such another shot as that are
agin--l'd a made him make tracks, l guess,
as quick as dog dors n hog from a potatoe
frld-he'd n found his way ont Of the hole in
the fence plagy sight quicker than he came
10, ! reckon. His manner. said ], was crr-
tainly rather unceremoDious at times, bnt he
was so honest, and so straight forward, that
no person was, I believe. ever seriously Of
Tended at him. II was his way. Then bis
way was so plagy rough. continued the Clock
maker, that he'd been the better. IL it had
hren hammered and maulpd down smoother /;
I'd a levelIed him as fla, as founder. Pray
what was his offence? said I. Bad enough
y"u Uc uuuuIT' htuCt
was dyspeptic, and he suffered great uneasi-
ness arisr caiin. so he goes 60 Ahrrneihy for
advice. What's the matter with you. said
the Doctor? jisi that way. without even pas
sing the time % day with him-Whnis the
matter with you, said br. Why. says Alder.
Ipresume have the dysp"Psy-Ah! said he,
| see. a yankee swallowed more dollars and
rents than he can digest. am an Anne ricaD
citizen, says Alder, with great dignity, am
Secretary To our Legation at the Court OF st.
James. The devil you are. said Alternately.
Then you'll soon get cured Of your Dyspepsy.
don't see that are inference, said Alder. II
adont follow from what yOn predicate Ut all
1t ant natural consequence. | guess, that
n man shOuld cease 10 he i'll, because hr is cal.
led BY the S"ice of free and enlightened peO-
PIE Z" fill an Important office. tThe truth is.
you could ne more trap Alder than you could
an Indian. he conld see other folks trail. and
made none himself; he was a real diplomaiisi.
and believe our diplOmatists are allowed I"
be the best in the worldly But tell you il
does fOllnw, said the Doctor, Cor iD the com
pany you'll have TO keep, you'll have to eat
like a Christian. II was an everlasting pity
Alder cOntradicted him. for he brok. out like
mad. I'll be id. said he. il ever saw
yankee that didn't holt his food whOle like a
DOh OOuStTsCtOTs NOW Tue QevU tSu ss0 ~
peci 10 digest food. that you neither take the
trouble to dissect. nor time 10 rpasticate Its
no wonder that you lose your teeth. for you
never use them nor your digestion. for you
overload It nor your saliva. for you expend
il on the carpets. instead of your food. les
disgusting. its beastly. You Yankees load
y0ur stomachs as DeyOnshire man does his
cart as full a. il can hold and - fast a. he can
pitch il with dung fork and drive oE--and
then you complain that such load Of comfort
is too heavy for you. Dyspfpsy. Ell! infer
nal guzsling you mean. I'll tell you what.
Mr.. Secretary of Legation. take half the time
to eat. that yon do to drawl out your words,
ehew your food half as much as yoa do your
filthy tobacco. and You'll be well in month.
don't understand snch laoguage. said Alder.
flor he was fairly ryled. and got his dander mp.
and when be shows clear grit. he looks wick
ed ugly tell yOn.) dent understand such
language; Sir, ] came here TO consult you
professionally, and not TO be - Don't un-
derstand. said the DR.. Why. its plain English ;
but here, read my book, and he showed book