The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1835-08-12
From the New Yorker
THE BROTHER
A TALE.
CHAPTER FIRST.

HE recollcctlons of my infancy and boyhoOd are
sbronded in obscury, and through the lapse oftime
l cannot recall single event that happened within
that period worthy of remark. But, though the in
cdents of my early life to void Of interest TO
leave any permanent impressions on my memory.
the general character of my thoughts and feelings
are perfectly recollected. | remember well that,
from my earliest observations, | looked upon all
around with feelings com pletely opposite to those
which are calculated to give to their possessor the
greatest probability Of passing through life with COM
placency. Tremblingly alive to every imperfection
OF my own, and with an Imagination that continually
pictured Visions of excellency in those with whom
came in contact, regarded every one as more for
tunate than myself and blamed my own destiny that
she had cast me in such sordd state that the pros
pect of raising myself to level with my aspirations
was hopeless and forlorn. This state of feeling soon
engendered, or rather was composed of, that most
baneful of passions, Envy. Real or imagined
excellence in another to me a mildew and
blight: the contemplation of superiority, however
mildly or unostentatiously exercised, threw gloom
upon my spirits, and turned the kindly feelings of
my nature into gall. How often, as | returned with
my companions from some excursion Of pleasure or
juvenile recreation, have shrunk within myself as
saw the sunny smiles of those around me, bound
ing and laughing IN the innocent oyousness of their
hearts. had no sympathy with them; they drew
their pleasure from the sources of their own pure
Breasts blest with the vgor of health and surrounded
by the smiles of nature they looked no further for
their happiness in the jocund face of each COM
panion, they beheld reflection of their own pleas
ure and paused not to analyze the cause or inquire
ITS source. With me, it not so the demon OF
inquiry had crept upon if plcasurabc inn
pulse arose, l checked it to ascertain its cause
there was none, and the bri ght vision fled WHY
should feel glad what cause had I to smile
could laugh l-no; there was no reason for il
Nature nd 10 for Ill
her venom upon my head, while saw others blcst
As | advanced in life, the bent of my feelings
strengthened; slrank from society, and, had nv cir.
cumstances allowed, should have fled to some sol
tude where the sight of human happiness neve
could have blighted my vision. But Fortune wa.
my foe; the necessities ofIiic compelled me to min.
gle with the throng and win my bitter bread
Amidst the millions of London, | drove my dali,
toll aud groaned away my nights. Time hac
brought upon me fresh sources of misery | wa,
verglng upon manhood, and the throb of passion
swelled IN my desolate breast, the volcano heave
Its lava through regions of arid waste ANY thinl
approaching perfection, even in my boyish compan
ions had always filled my soul with gloom and des
pondency: what were now my sensations when
behed the overwhelming loneliness of Woman
what visions of celestial brightness in her form now
fioated in my imagination what unspeal>able beau.
ty surrounded her what streams oflove flowed from
her eyes what accents of melody fell from her lin,
aud vibrated OH my trembling heart A subtl,
flame had crept into my blood but it burnt not;
gowed through all my veins with gentle feryor
and dissolved my existence into timorous ecsacy
But the thought that would not let me rest burst il
upon my dream, and again awoke me 10 mysclf,
What were these visions of beauty tn me how could
l, who had always looked upon myself ms the ac-
cursed of Fate, dare to hope for smile from such
ehulgent brightness No, / must not hope. But
could live, and see each day crowds of my fellow
men whrling through the vortex of delight and call
ling these creatures of my dreams their own-av.
! hold'ngIn proud possession those beings to whom
my soul looked up as 10 godl II was too much
10 bear, and Iresovcd to avoid it.
Though at this period the sickness of envy had
possessed my soul even o.death, yet there mingled
n my feelings no sensation Of hatred towards the
happy possessors Of the envied objects was in
tsllowship with all men their happiness alone
I'otrd d;--and could | have reduced all to NV own