Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1834-01-30

the occasion oil another amusing CABINET
"scene." [.N Y. Com. .Adr.
MAJOR DOwNING's CORREsPON.
DENCE.
\ WAsHINeroN, 10th Jan. 1884.
To my old friend Mr.. Dwight, of the New-York
Daily Advertiser.
The pill ] give the Cabinet, and the
rest Of the Government here on the 9th
of last month, is jist beginnin to operate,
aud | don't think some on EN- will want
any more fisk Tor good spell to come.
some of our folks make plagey ugly ia
ces ut me, but j tell EN- that's u sure
sign they want fisk, and they'll feel bet
Ter to rights. 1t was well | siop'd jist
where did in that Cabinet paper, Tor
my dander was jist illin, and if had
gone on ony ten minits longer, I'D hit
some on EN- so hard they wouldn't swell.
But that aint what want to write you
about now. want to thank them folks
up in Carthage, in York State, for the
AK they made for me, and which they
sent to you to send TO me. have jist
got it, and it has tickled me eny most to
death. never got such present afore
in my born days. ] starred right up
chamber with it to the GineraI, and bolt
ed straight into the Cabinet room with
my nv on my shOulder--the Gineral was
there with pretty much all our folks ov-
erhauling the Post Office accounts, and
tryin to GIT them strait, which is plagy
tut job-but no matter-in l smash'd but
a.ore | could git out one word, l never
see such scampern: turned to head
some on EN-, jist to tell EN- what was
arter; but il seemed the more tried, the
more they tried to streak it, and in less
than one mint there warnt livin criter
left but | and the Gineral-and the Gin
eral some how got a notion in his head,
and would gone too, if there warnt no
pluck in him. He was standin up with
his back agin The mantle tree, and his
hickory in his hand, and looked for all
the world as though he was jist expectin
a fight
Why, says l, Gineral, what on earth
is all this scamperin for ? Well says he,
l reckon you can tell better than can;
and with that, he blink'd at me most pla-
| gily--and says he, what is the news
now : Why, says ], there aint nothin
new, but this-ere ak, and l brought il 10
show you-its II present to me, says | +,
from Starks, s. Co., away up in York
State, on the Black River. The Gin
eral changed face in mint, and it was
jist like the sun risin. He step'd up to
me and took the ak, and walk'd to his
chair and sat down, and throw'd his
head back, and ha haw'd right out. II
does me good, in these times, to see the
Gineral tlckled at any thing. As soon
as the Gineral could say any thing
says he, Major, call back Tany and
Barry, and Amos, and haw, haw, haw,
says the GineraI-and jist then, l got
the notion why they all scampered of so,
and sot down right in front Of the Giner-
al, and we haw haw'd l tell you, for
more than half an hour.
| And so to rights, we got talkin agin,
and the Gineral he wiped his eye, and
blew his nose jist for all the world as
though he had been cryin--and says he
Major, il amt strange they was leetle
afeared Of you, for you know jist as you
come in, some on EN- was saying about
the plagy Post Office accounts. If they
didn't gt EN- straight pretty soon, you
would git at EN- and chop em all up into
mince meat-and jist then sure enuf in
you come, and then haw haw haw, say $
the Gineral agin. Well, says he, Ma
jor, Pm glad that people about are be-
ginn'n to look a: you pretty much as
do. l knew, says he, the time would
come when they would say knew what
was what when got you to be with me ;
and now says he, Major, let's look at
this ak, and the Gineral he rubb'd his
specs-welI, says he, this is a splitter,
amt it-why, says he, if a man ony got
lathered he could shave himself without
barber, for this ak is as bright as a
looking glass, and sharp as razor; and
here is the makers name too; "Starks,
s. Co, Carthage, New-York" l do
wonder now, says the Gineral, if that
aint the same "Stark" who lick'd the
British at Bennington a spell ago?
aint certin, says l. Well, nor mother,
says the Ginera, for do you know Ma.
jor, | have been in SO many wars my
self, that | sometimes mix EN- up, and
have now got SO much to attend to here
that i am bothered about names and
places, and times, most plagily. Now
there is our little district attorney, oul
folks tell'd me when l appointed him ,
Bank Director, that he was jist the kline
of man we wanted "to ride Biddle," ano
upset him-and when they telled Of rid
in 'upsettin,' and mentioned his name
] got notion in my head that cam
get out yet, that he may be the same
man I've heard tell on, who took ride