Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1834-08-21
THE HUMOROUS MAN.

His tears die even when they are
born-on his "heart of hearts," he
makes no show of them; like April
showers they refresh where they fall
and turn to smiles as all tears will that
are not selfish. y / once found
him bowling on the stairs to a poor
alarmed devil of rat, who was cring.
ing up in a corner; he was offering
him the retreat honorable with a po-
llte--"alter you, sir, you oblige mep'
settled the point of etiquette by kick
ing the rat down stairs, and received
frown from my humane friend for my
impatient humanity. Coming TO a
corn field, he pulled off his hat, and
bowling profoundly, requested of his
wheaton audience that as he was a
poor poet, they would lend him their
ears. He conceived it to be
kind of puppyism in pigs that they
wear tails. He defines great coat to
be modern spenser in folio with tail
pieces. n In walking through his
garden, tree or tall flower touched by
the passing wind bowed its head toward |
him, his hat was Immediately off and
the bow returned with an old school
ceremoniousness and etiquette that
would perhaps have cured Lord Ches-
terfeld. In this spirit saw him bow
very profoundly to 'the giants as he
passed under st. Dunstan's church.
He asked his friend what was the hour;
!. but before he could reply the giants
had informed him" Thank you, gen.
tlemen," said he bowling to them with
graceful humor.
At dinner there is but one glass on
the table and his lady apologies for
her seeming negligence. "Time, nay
dear hath no more than one glass; and
vet he contrives to see all his guests
under the table. & If he lends you a
book, for the humor ofthe thing he will
request you, as you love clean con-
science, to make no thumb and butter
references In the margin, and will
moreover ask you whether you have
studied the modern art of book keeping
l which has superseded the Italian meth.
: cd, VIZ. of never returning the hooks
c you borrow. He dislocates words out
y OF Joint thus, Themistocles loses hi.
d quality but increases his quantity, ant
e becomes The Mss Tokelegs-The On
!, clddeS becomes the sick ladas-a de
Ie lectable enjoyment is a deal legged ia
,p Die pleasure, &c. pun without end
IN These he calls punlings. -Gleanino
to from Posthumous papers.
id A young lad was sent to school +
|, learn the Latin tongue. AS he wa
j. more fond of his top & marbles than hi
Y Latin, it may readily be supposed tina
- he was not proficient in that lang
IS uage. He returned home with as mucl
:. Latin in his head as when he started
/ Gong into the barnyard he met hi
e father, who kindly received him, AM
S after considerable time had elapsed h,
j. asked his son if he made any figur,
e IN the Latin. 30 yes" replied the
d artiul fellow, for it was found he haC
: learned to be more cunning than wise
= Well : said the father, what is the
Latin OF fork 2 pointing to one in the
G barnyard. THAT is forkibus,' repli
! ed the simpleton. what is the Lat.
in of dungP continued the father.
Why that is dungibus, continued the
son. What is the Latin of cart 2
, says the father. That is cartibus
replied the blockhead.
The father now, as the saying is,
'smelt the rat and said to his SON
Jlst take that are forkibus, and put
that are dungibus into that cartibus
nyo9 don't will give you one con.