davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

SHOWING couNTENANcE. Lord NJ
whose face was not remarkable for its
beauty, could not refrain from laughing
at one of Raikes' witticsms, the other
night at Lady A-'s.-s'What droll
dog you are, Raikes!" cried M, "'pon
my soul can't keep my countenance. p
"Ihe deuce you can't!" replied Raikes,
"why if had such precious ugly Wis
age, I'd get rid Of it as soon as could -
M went off in fit.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01
THE HEIGHT OF THE RIDICULOUS.

HE HEIGHT OF THE RIDICULOUS.
wrote some lines once on time
In wondpous merry mood,
And thought, as usual men would say
They were exceeding good.
They were so queer, so very queer,
laughed as would die,
Albeit in the general way
A sober man am |.
called my servant and he came
How kind it was OF him
To mind little man like me,
He of the mighty limb!
"These to the printer" | exclaimed;
And in my humorous way
adGed-for | love a Joke
"There'll be the devil to pay"
He laughed-your footmen always laugh
When masters make pun;
And well he might've tried enough,
And never made but one.
He took the paper and watched
And saw him peep within;
At the first line he read, his face
Was all upon grin.
He read the next, the grin grew broad
And shot from ear TO ear;
He read the third, chuckling noise
now began to hear.
The fourth--he broke into roar,
The ffth--his waistband split;
The sixth-he burst five buttons off
And tumbled in lit.
Ten days and nights with sleepless eye
watched that wretched man,
And since never dared to write
As funny as can.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01
PUBLIC NOTICE,

q S hereby given, that the undersigned have
q taken out letters of administration of
the goods and chattels, rights and credits
of Ambrose Yocom, deceased, and quaIifi-
ed as such administrators; all persons hav-
ing claims against the estate of The deceas-
ed, are hereby notified and requested toex-
hbit the same to the administrators, or to
the court Probate for the county of Coles,
for settlement, within nine months from
the date hereof
N. ELLINGTON,
J. Il. CUNNINGHAM, Admr's.
MILES HART,
Charleston, March 10, 1884. 4l-4
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01
Doc POWER.

John Farley, of Danville, VT. adver-
tiscs patent ''Dog Churn." He says,
that churning is performed by the labor
of dogs; and that the machine may be
applied to other uses, such as turning
grindstone and washing clothes. Wo.
men may now introduce "dog power
into their kitchens and dairy rooms, and
seat themselves in the parlor.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01
ApriIal, 1884
ADMINISTRATORS NOTICE.

NOTICE is hereby given, that shall
~ attend the court of probate in and for
the county of Jefferson, in the town OF
Mount Vernon, on the first Monday in July
next, for the purpose of adjusting the claims
against the estate of JAMES HoLsTAcE,
deceased, when and where all persons hav-
ing claims against said estate are requested
to attend, for the purpose of having the
same adjusted.
ANDERSON BOOTH, Admir-.
March 26, 1884. 40 at
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

How TO cuRTAiL.-Whlle Clergy
man was praying at a camp meeting in
most fervent manner, for the power of
the devil to be curtaled, Jealous old
negro man loudly exclaimed--"Amen!
yes, cut he tail smack snoove off,"
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

The MIRROR AND THE WINDOW PANE.
A mirror and window pane were
once desperately enamoured Of beau
tiful young girl, who had been brought
up without ever seeing herself either in
the CLASSY surface of the stream, or the
polished looking glass. They agreed TO
refer their claims to her decision. The
innocent damsel first lookedthrough the
pane Of glass on one Of the most lovely
prospects of nature. Rich meadows.
spotted with sheep and cattle, copses Of
wood whose leecy foliage as it waved
to and fro in the sweet south breeze.
presented endless varieties of sprighsly
green; little brooks stealing their way
in thousand devious meanderings thro'
the grass and flowers; hills rising in
gently one above another in graceful
lines of beauty, until they ended in a
cloud capt mountain, whose soft azure
tints blended harmoniously with the
skies, all mingled together in nature;
matchless harmony, presented a scene Of
enchanting beauty.
She gazed so long at this landscape
that the mirror began to imagine that il
was all over with it, and turned din
with envy. AT last the damsel placed
herself before it, and became rivetcd to
The spot ehamoured Of the angel she saw
reflected there. She beheld in IFS pure
bosom figure graceful as the sportive
kitten: eyes that sparkled like jewels
| lips like twin cherries; checks showing
the opening roses; teeth Of pearl; and
neck and bosom of snow. She stooe
motionless with admiration, and whcr
called upon for a decision between the
rival glasses, blushed and was SILENT
But fiom that day it was observed tta
day it was observed, that the window
pane was deserted for the mirror, and
the former at length broke its heart ir
despair.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01
FOR SALE.

7uVHE HOUSE AND LOT now occu-
u pied by HENRY WILEY in the town OF
on a credit of six months, pay
ment made secure. If the said house and
lot are not sold at private sale before the
first Monday IN June nert, they will, on
that day, be sold to the highest bidder, on
a like credit.
J. NJ. DUNCAN.
April3J, 1884. 44-tf
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

Lord Chesierfeld's physicians having
Informed him that he was dying ssby
inches," he thanked heaven that he was
not SC tall by foot and half as Sir
Thomas Robinson.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

In addition to the plan originally proposed,
the four pages Of the cover have been. added, in
whose ample columns the editor weekly crowds
literary intelligence of various kinds-extensive
extracts from the newest and best books as fast
as they issue from the other presses, and endca-
YOURS, without favour or daItiality, to point out
to his readers such works as have most merit .
It contains an extensive record of what is pas
sing in the literary world, and, in TACT, supplies
a desideraum to literary circles in this country,
never nreioilsY furnished
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01
A CARD.

In directing the attention Of their readers
to the improvements and exertions which
have been increasingly made, TO elevate
the LADY'S BOOK TO that station which
it now occupies, the Proprietors have in
Cured very considerable expense, which
deserves, on the subscribers part, suitable
punctuaity in meeting their engagements.
To them, individually, the amount of the
subscription is trife, but to the ,proprie-
tors, it is, collectively, of the utmosimpor-
lance; and it is confidently expected that
The early Transmission of arrears, will prove
to them that their intentions and exertions
have not been disregarded or forgotten, by
those for whom they have been made.
After the fisrt of January it is the inten-
ton OF the proprietors to send circulars to
all who are in arrears one year. Subscri-
bers wishing to avoid the expense of post
age, will please make payment before that
time.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01
TO CLAIMANTS ON THE
u u. S. GOVERNMENT. All those

interested in claims on the Government Of
the United States, ofany description what
ever, are informed that shall be at Wash
ington City during the month of February
and March next, and will attend faithfully
to all such business as may be confided TO
me, for moderate compensation. In all
cases, Power Of Attorney, duly certified,
should be sent with the evidence in support
of the claim. Direct to me, at Washing
ton City.
SIDNEY BREESE.
Kaskaskia, Jan. II, 1894. s7-tf
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

PATENT BALANCES sc.
DATENT Balances from 800 to 600 lbs.
u Patent Augers, Socket ChiseIs, Ham
mers aud general assortment of domestic
Hardware Of very superior quality.
40 boxes Collins + Cos Axes.
4 50 - Broad Axes.
lbbotson's patent straw Knives.
Bramble Scy,hes, Mill and d Saws, Sho-
wells and Spades.
$40 1919 Window Glasses.
For sale low by -.
-, GODFREY, GILMAN 4 Co.
Alton, Nov. 4, 1888. 90 ly
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01
NOTICE.

NOTICE.
Letters of administration upon the es.
tate of Thomas Lawson deceased, late of
Lawrence county, have been duly granted
to me; all persons having claims against
the SAID estate, will present them before the
court of probate of Lawrence county Hi
nois, on the first Monday of May next, on
which day shall attend before the said
court, for the purpose OF investigating such
claims. -..--.al
THOMAS BUCHANAN,
Administrator.
Lawrenceyille March Sd, 1884. al.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

A man observing another reeling a.
oout the streets, asked bystander if he
tnoughl that was an actor! "No," re-
Pied the other,"l think he is Jug gler.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

Or. R-maintained that poverty
Xes virtue. "That," replied Mr..
eAnning, sis literally making virtue of
lAeessity."
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

"Have you a $1,000 over to.dayg"
said one Wall street friend to another.
eyes, but its so far over that cannot
reach it," said the other.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

A MYsrERy.-s'I am going to raise a
pig stye," said Brown, and he straight.
way built one up. 81 am going to raze
q pigstye," said jenkins, and he straight
way Knocked one down.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

A woman quarrelling with her hus-
band told him she believed if she was to
die he wonld marry the Devils eldest
daughter. The law does not allow a
man to marry two sisters, replied the
tender husband.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01


People OF IMPORTANCE. Nobody
likes to be nobody, but every body is
pleased to think himself somebody; and
every body is somebody: but the worst
of the matter is, when any body thinks
himself to be somebody, he is loo much
inclined to think every body else 10 be
nobody.
CASH PAYMENTS. Peterson. the COM
edian, lent a brother two shillings, and
when he made d smand for the sum,
the debtor, turning peevishly from him,
said"Hang it, Pll pay you TO- day in some
shape or other" Peterson good humor-
eddy replied, II shall be much obliged to
you, Tom, to let it be as much like two
shillings as you can"
A gentleman, who resides at Nant-
wich, as he was eating an egg, at break
fast, a few mornings ago, found in it a
common garden bean.
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

A Quaker once hearing a person tell
how much he felt for another who was
suffering, and needed his assistance, dri-
ly observed TO him, s.Friend, hast thou
felt in thy pocket for him."
Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1834-05-01

Or,oo, whici uiuefence pays Inc postage,
it must be admitted, on ali hands, that 1t is
the greatest reduction on the usual selling
prices of any article ever attempted, much
less erecuted.* But the subscriber does not
found his claims to public patronage alone
lon the cheapness of his periodical. The
works published have been of highly lit
|erary and very attractive character, as is
proved by second book editions having fol
lowed those Of the eLibraryn with apidity.
and every one ofwhich, even at the adyan-
ced price charged IN that form, has had a
most rapid sale.
The time and attention of a literary gen.
tleman are almost entirely devoted to max
ing selections for the work, and in seeking !,
from the mass Of books in the public insti-
tutions of Philadelphia, as we'll as from the
new books imported from Grea, Britain,
the most interesting and valuable matter !;
and ne has had the pleasure Of bringing
before the American public several works
which otherwise would probably not have
been reprinted here.
AS It IS intended to print only small
number over the copies actually subscribed
tor those wishing the work are respectful
~ requested to send their orders as early
as possible.
AS this mode of publication can be sup
ported only by numerous and punctuall
list Of subscribers, the(riends to an econ.
'mical diffusion of sound literature are cali
ID upon for their patronage.
A. wALDIE. !
The Arkansas advocate., 1834-05-16
SfsRI.EG GOODN.

TENHE Subscribers have just rece,yed
 a their assortment of SPRING and SUMMER GOODS,t to which the attention of purchasers is respectfully requested.-- Their. assortment consists of most articles usually called for in the Dry Goods line, to wit:
 Bleached and unbleached DOMESTICS Plain and striped do Painted Musiins, plain and figured book do Sw iss, null and jaconet do. plain and fg'd Grecian netts, Cambrics and Calicoes Ginghatns, assorted corded Skirts BobbiDet Laces and Edgings QuilliDgs, Insertions, &c. fancy Hhdkfs. Assorted Capes, Hat Tabs
 White and cold Kid Gloves, long do. do Black and white Silk Hose
 Fancy Cotton, do Gentlemen's white and cold half Hoso Stocks. Elastic Suspenders, Linen Collars Bosoms, Sbirts, Pantaloons, Vests Rounda bouts, Linen Coats
 NaDkeen and Bombszine Goats Ladies lasting and kid Slippers Calf and morocco walking Shoes Cater Boots, Misses Cater Boots PruneI and kid Slippers. &c. Boys and youths BrogaDs Mems Boots, Shoes and Slippers, assorted Hardware and Cutlery, assorted Smiths Bellows and Vices, 0c. dc.
The Arkansas advocate., 1834-05-16
With respect, your ob't. servant.
 JOHN MCLEAN.

Thrilling Address from .Mr Clag.-On
 the l4th, MT. Clay availed himself of the oc- casion of presenting some memorials from the State of New York, to congratulate the Vice President upon the result of the eIec- ton in New York. We have not room for
 the whole of this brilliant performance, and
 must content ourselves with a single para
 graph. NlK Clay said
 "l congratulate you, MT. President, and
 l hope you will receive the congratua,ion with the same heartfelt cordiality with which l tender il, upon the issue of the late cleo ton in the city of New York. hope it will excite patriotic glow t your bosom.
 congratulate the Senate, the country, the city of New York, the friends of liberty every where. It was a great victory. It mast be SC regarded in every aspect
 From majority of more than six thousand which the dominant party boasted few months ago, If it retain any, it is a meagre and spurious majority of less than two hun dred. And the wings contended with such odds against them. A triple alliance of State placemen, Corporation placemen, and Federal placemen, amounting to about thir- ty five hundred, and deriving, in the form of salaries, compensations, and allowances. ordinary and extra, from the public chests, the enormous sum annually, of near one million of dollars. Marshalled, drilled, disciplined, commanded. The struggle was tremendous, but what can withstand the irresistible power of the votaries of truth, liberty and their country? It was an immor- tai tfiumph--a triumph of the Constitution and the Laws, over usurpation here. and over clubs and bludgeons and violence there."
 In the course of this speech, MT. Clay announced his fixed purpose to vote against the nomination of every member otf otf Con gross for any office, high or low, foreign or domestic, until the authority of the consti- tution and laws was restored. He further entreatcd the Senate not to approve of the original nomination of any notorious brawl-
 ing pattizan and electioneerer; but, espe- cially, of the disappointment of any officer who shall have prostituted the influence of his office to partizan and delectioneering pur- poses. IL was his determination not to do 90 in any case wilateyer.-.s S .sa.ss Rep
The Arkansas advocate., 1834-05-16

'alae refused te aet iia lie ease. h snch a case as this the Senate has no right, upon the general argument of the Message, 10 in- tersere- If the Senae had riaht to inter- tere Tn such a case, says the Fresident3 ii mad rtght to make its interference ei1ectu- al. insuch case some future Senate might, n order te make such interference effective. omit 10 perform their own constitutional functions; refuse to pass the necessary ap- preparation laws, or to confirm proper nomi- nations by the Fresident--thas shadowing out the consequences which might result rom such an usurping disposition on the part of the Senate. &c. &c.
 The message then adverts to circumstan- ces connected with the discussion and pas sage of the Resolutions censuring the Pre- sldent, who, 1t IS argued, Is ihe direct re- presentatiye of the people, whilst the Senate only lntermediately represents them. The instructions from the Legislatures of inc States of Maine, New Jersey, and Ohio, expressing their attachment to the President and their hostility to the Bank of the United States, and instructing their Senators to vote accordingly, are all embodied at length In the message. From these States, the Message says, four Senators out of the 26 voted in favor of the censure of the Presi- dent; had they voted as instructed, 9 only, out of 4S, would have sanctioned the accu- sation against the President, &c.
 The message then goes on to depict the awful consequences which might follow a submission to such usnrpations by the Sen ate, of the rights of the Executive; such as aristoeracy, anarchy, or dismembermcnt of the Government, &e.
 The President also vindicates his private reputation from implications which he con eeiyes to be contained in the vote of cen- sure, Sc.
 The whole message concludes, for the reasons briefly hinted at above, and other reasons which are not enumerated, Gin the course of which the length of term of ser vice and Responsibility of Senators are more than once alluded to- with solemn protest, which, with the message, the Pre- sident requested may be entered at large npon the journals of the Senate.
 The above is hasty and faint outline, btu substantially a correct one, of this im- portant executive misslve to the Senate l; which, inc reader may very we'll conceive, produced not a little sensation within the precincts of the Capitol
The Arkansas advocate., 1834-05-16
: LETTER OF JUDGE MEAN.
 | O the Editnr of .h IT

LETTER OF JUDGE MILAN, 10 the Editor ot the Hamilton (0.) Intel. Washington, 27h .March, 1884. DEAR sIR-i have just received your ielter o' the i7fh inst. in which YOU inform ne that at late public meeting in Hafnil- lon, - number of letters were read 10 the 1 meeflns- C. stating. in effect. that l had ex- pressed determination not to be d candid ale m opposition to Mir. Van Bneu, and 'hat 'her impression was great; and you request me to say whether 1 intend to be- come a candidate forthe presidency regard- less of the decision of a national eonven- tion.''
 No individual has had the shadow of au- thouty for making tlie above statement.
 Whether shall become a candidate or not will depend entirely on the voluntary action of the people. The choice of their public servants. in my opinion, belongs to the people, and not to those who, from self ish views, may assume the responsibility of acting for them.
 am opposed to national caucus or con- yention now, as was in 1923, when an at tempt was made, through its influence, to elect President o. the U. States.
 A national convention IS contrary to the established usages of the democratic party. It has direct tendency to. place the whole political power of the country, in the hands of few individuals, and to deprive the peo- pie of full and fair expression of their will 1t will substitute, for the official organs, un- der the constitution and laws, a cabal which will control, through a corrupt influence, the whole action and policy of the Govern ment.
 Under such system the people will be kept m state of excitement, the moral force of our institutions will be eventually destroyed, and the ruin of our government must soon follow.
 To keep the election of President out of the House of Representatives, I have ai- ways been in favor of so altering the con s'ituton as to send the election 3 second time to the people. if there should be fail- ufe to elect OH the first attempt. Under no 1 circumstances will I consent to be the in- strument of defeating the election of Presi- dent by the people.
 Believing, as l do, that our government can only be sustained i'll ifs purity and vigor by keeping the elective franchise near the people, and out of the hands of political managers, my course, in regard to the fi- ture' Will Tn no degree be influenced by the contemplated national convention.
 in accordance with the usages of the democratic party, state conventions, under certain circumstances, arc not only proper, but necessary. But the only legitimate ob- Ject Of such convention, is to oscsrtoi,, pubic sentiment, and not to mdnutacti;re it. its members should be chosen by the peo- pte, and to the convention should be borne and expressed the knoien wishes of tic people.
 With respect, your ob't. servant. JOHN MCLEAN.
The Arkansas advocate., 1834-05-16
From the National Inlelligencer.

VIRGINIA ELEcTIoNs.-A sufficient number of counties have been heard from to interest us in the progress of the Elec- ton now being holden in Virginia for Dele- gates to the General Assembly of that State. 3he members elect, are distinguished gen eraliy, in the returns, as being in favor of, or opposed to. the Administration and it's late measures. in our account of tic re- suit as given below, ffom various newspa- per returns, we adopt the Virginia terms, Opposition and Standardization some of those, however. who are chased SIS Admin istration. disapproYe, 1t Is said of the remo- val of the deposites.
The Arkansas advocate., 1834-05-16
GROCERIES ;:

Loaf and brown Sugars, Coffee, Molasses, Rice, Imperial Gunpowder Young Tyson Teas, &c.
 With many other articles, all of which they will sell unusually low for Cash.
 Ls { w. R. GIBSON. G- We would again earnestly request those indebted for last year, either by note or account, to call and settle, as we are very much in want of money. We wish to start as early as psssiblc, 10 the East, fer the purpose of laying in our fall and winter stock. and would therefore request partic- nlar attention 10 this notice.
 l.. & W RIG Little Roch. May I6, 1894. stf
The Arkansas advocate., 1834-05-16
NOTICE.

WILL thank those persons who may : have any Heeks, belonging to JOHN II CockE, or to CockE < LEE, to leave them. as soon as may be convenient, at the Store of Wa. BADGETT S1 Go.
 JOHN II. COOKIE.
 May 16, 1884. 6 3t