Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1834-01-25
MAJ. DowNING's CORRESPONDENCE
TO mn old friend, Mr.. DsOight Of the Ns'0 York
Daily dduerfiser.

- ms
70 mn old friend, Mr.. DDight, Of the Aeo York
Daiiv AduertiSer.
WASHINGTON, Jan. Is, 1884
You remember telled you, a spell ago. tnat
after we got the message done, we was oDhgeo
to take it all to bits and mock out good many
things about the counts, and run the cnance %
lettin Congress skip EN- over; and teneo you
too, that would to- rights git the Ginerars spees
and DIV EN- a twist round to plain slght anu
LOT him take look at things jest as they De,
without a bit of sgio7'yn about en- Well, among
them accounts we had got in the Message was
the Post Office accounts didn't hike the look
on EN- a bit at the time, but as every Dooy saiu
money was plagy scarce every Where, tle vi
neral thought it was natural enut TO IND II pert
tv scarce in the Post Office too. Now, says l.,
Gineral. my notion is, that we best let Major
Barry fell his own story about 1t; Tor as ne mas
done Sc much in reforming things, and as we
have got now pretty good majority III :, Goh-
gress, he may get out OF the scrape. ven lle
Gineral thought that was about the Desl way;
and Major Barry made his report and telled
nretty considerable of cute story apout ms
hayii1 found an error in the Post Office accounts
Shat had been overlooked ever since GlheTal
Nlshngton's time. began to thlnk Tor a SPELL
that would stump Congress about as mucn as
though there had been a fire IN the Post Ofce,
pretty much like that one in the Treasury last
snring But some how or other, some OF tne
plagy Senators have been smellIn round, ana
got on track that led EN- right Hp TO tne TACT,
that the Post Office is head and ears all over IN
debt; and that it has been borrowin money for
(. over two wears now and never said word ont
TO Congress And am peskily afeard, that see
in the Law says none OF our folks shall borrow
money without consent of Congress, (and
which, upon the hull, is pretty safe law, Tor
Congress couldn't tell otherwise now the money
was goin,) am, say, peskily afeard we can't
get the Post Office folks out OF this scrape with
out reformin some on EN- out OF office. But as
they are all our best friends, and have done
more for glory and reform than most folks, we
shall let some on EN- resign, and then aplnt EN-
to some Office abroad, or get EN- into some
place where they can git liven without work
in for it: for the Gineral won't let any on EN-
suffer no way.
When the Gineral come to hear what the Sc
nate was arter, says he, Major, VIII them ac-
counts of the Post Office stand the racket, or
not? Why. says /, Gineral its hard tellin; but
as nigh as can caklate, says, guess they
wont in the way Congress settles accounts:
things look plagy crooked, says /; and the worst
ont is them accounts have been so twisted,
first one way, and then agln another way, that
/ am afeard now they wont stand twisun any
more The ony ways, says i is to straiten EN-,
and that's all can do about en-. But says l,
if they break to bits in straitenin on EN-, can't
help it, Well, says he, Major, wish you'd Try
it; for says the Gineral, if we can't keep Barry
up, there's no telling what will become on US;
for it seems to me, ever since Mr.. Van buren,
gotthe Post Office Department into the CABINET,
we have been able to do, more in "rewardin
our trends, and punishin our enemies" than
in all the rest of the departments put together.
Well, says l, Gineral, pll try it says |, and so
the Gneral went to- bed, and / got my slate,
and got all the Post Ofhce accounts from the
time Judge Mclean left the office, and Major
Barry came into it. 1t took me good spell to
git EN- all strung out in regular order; and just
&C T was beoinnin to sifer up the Glneral he rlZ
m in bed and says he, Major, reckon can
help you along. Well, says / Gineral, want
all the hepyou can give me. I'm .thlnkln, says
he you best say that it's all OWN to Biddle; for
he Is crampin all the people he can, and that he
makes money so scarce, folks can't pay post
are. and that if we had not taken the deposits
away from him, things would be twice as bad
now Well, says j, Gineral, that is good no.
ton, and I'll see to rights how 1t ii work among
figures I thought I'd justtell you, says the Gil
neral. afore forgot it. for the notion jest struck
me as was goin to sleep: and so the Glneral
laid down, and went siferin agin.
1t was most daylight afore got through, and
I finished off with the sums Major Barry says ne
has been borrowin, and left blank to put In the
amount he says the post Office has overdrawn
the banks where the hostages are kept: for as
( he don't know yet what that amount is, can't
tell myself; tho suppose could, upon pinch,
make nigh upon as good guess at 1t as he
could or any one else. But thought wouldn't
guess at nOtlillk. liCNCi 5lCoo WiiCu HOlu
of nv slate sifer on one side, and then chalk
down the sum on tother-so there can't be nc
mistake When come to flyer up the hull
amount the post Office has gone astarn since
Judge M,Lean left it, begun to bile up like one
of old Capt. Bunker's steam kittles; and was
clad the Gineraf was snorin, for don't like tc
let people see me when my steam is up. but if
don't do somethin, suppose should blow uE
list like steam boat on the MaSsissippy-and
SO got my ak, and down stairs went with q
LIGHT to the wood house, and split up more than
three cord and half of hickory afore got in 8
good temper, and afore thought it was safe tC
90 to, bed; and then went to bed, and slept like
top till breakfast time.
The next mornin, when the Gineral come in
to the Cabinet room--well, says he, Major, did
you finish them plagy accounts2 Yes, says /
Gnera, | did, and split up wood enufto last US
month in the bargain. And | jest telPd the
Gineral a leete about it to prepare him. Now
says !, Gineral, let me have your specs, says l.
amint--and ltook 'em to the window, and give
the screws twist, and tried 'em and seein eve
ry thing look'd natural, handed em to the Gil.
neral, and then he and took the slate and went
hot a.