Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1834-09-11
ODE TO MIR. OWEN.

know,
Bcetoian bigot of the best intentions,
Prolix Professor Of the worst inventions,
Folly's Philosopher, Absurdity's High Prize
Preparer Of well caning nonsense,
Git food for all those who cannot con sense)
Windy purveyer Of Barmccidal feast.
When will thy useless projects of utility.
Thy barren anti.non- productive schemes,
And barbarous dreams.
Murd'ring poor possibility,
Lose in thine eyes
Hopes fattering dyes,
And semblance Of facility
Chief ofincurables, blind leader Of the blind,
Prose Crabbe of human kind,
Thy grade is retrograde
Thou would'st go back to the elemental barter,
Cashier The money trade.
And make US all recede three thousand yet rs
Thus would'st thou make the world thy martyr
Whilst gaunt Derision standing by,
With mouth awry,
Would grin his bi'terest jecrs
Do without gold?''
Bah thy "new system" is absurdly old
And canst thou deem, then, that the mind of man
Ofupward growth,
And all its lower roots,
{Ihat is, its virtues and its passions BOTH
Deem'st thou il ever can
DC cut and prun'd to thy Procrustean plan2
Alas! this error thou dost hug poor elf,
For this we must admit.
IL others thou dost cheat,
Thou dost TO others as unto myself!
Gentle Destructive, Leveller benign,
Mild Revolutionist, sweet spoken Anarch,
Who all the world would'st change, except
" New Lanark,'
What very odd complacency is thine
Yet thus can its source divine;
Folly, my Owen, loves thee for her own;
For thee alone
Her choicest gift she cuIls;
And from her special hands,
Ortyying thy demands,
Thou hast that rare receipt for catching gulls,
That bait supreme,
Thy new, old, quasi would be- social scheme,
oh wond'rous dream,
With how much wisdom grac'd,
That would abolish Governments, to stop our
Make all things common, merit TO advance
BY scouting creeds and faiths, our souls i'm
prove,
BY four hours work per day our sloth remove
Increase our wealth by sweeping off finance
by tuneless fddlng regulate our taste
And by promiscuous dancing mend our morals
Shall plastic Nature into one mould,
And there turn cold
shall mems all varying minds be hardened to on,
block
And split up into equal parts?
And all the throbbings of all human
hearts
Be as the ticking of one clock
The harness of thy system
Would cramp our kind, and twist EN-
AS Bertoletto tamcs the Industrious deas:
oh that like these
He could treat thee, for thine illusions,
Nor let thee jump to such absurd conclusions
Ii from some billiards, inly blind as bats,
Thy rleadings win applause,
Ills from simple cause
III leyelliRg systems must take IN He fats.
But thou, with expectations still in att
Would'st Owenize the world =
And so thou shalt,
Modern Conlusius, when
Chaos is come again,
And Barbarisms banner is unfurlcd;
When Dulness into Fancy's seat shall eree,,
When magpies for oraelcs be sought,
And figs on thistles caught,
And grabbed age and youth once pace shall kee
When property shall lose each proper tie,
And all turn common, saving common sense;
when Irish Dan shall cease to covet pence,
Aud moles shall fly
When cauliflowers for human heads are seen.
And hearts turn cabbages,
And man log arithmetic machine,
Like Babbage's;
Nhen every mountain shall become plain.
When wing'd Ambition shall forget to soar.
when learning, wood shall come 10 dun,
But not before d.