Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1834-01-09

heres ironbie'- hefes the very thing,n
say +, I've been afraid Of all the while,
The Gineral laft spell; and say. lie, MA.
jor, suppose YOU ard I now lit take a.
bout, ami you u see how easy | can mock
tia RELY into no'hin. 'WelI.n says 4
~Gineral,' IFS bargain. Now, saws \
I Ne sit down, and You may take. s,ysI.
the Globe or our District Attorneys re.
port, or your Proclamation, or your Mes-
soge. or Mr. Tsny's report, amy one on
EN-. or, says !. come 10 think ont, you
may tax, EN- all together for they are
PIE " much all one, and I'll take this
Bank reply and then let's see what kind
OF fish' II will turn out WELL say,
the Gineral. you are a man og .punk.
Major, and like you for IL: il make !.
prisoner on you, III treat You IKE brave
soldier And so will you. Gireral, say.
!, 'anc II YOU fall in the fight says I.
'Gneral. I'll bury you says /, with The
honors OF war, and then we shook hands.
Now, Major, says the Gineral, as am 10
begin the fight. don't you fire ill | FIRE.
and then we'll go threw. shot nv shot
We'll, says |, j want 10 know first if \
have night TO fire back yonr shot, il thew
miss me, aud can pick EN- np." % YES,
says the Ginerai, that's fair in war; Use
the enemies shot and shells. and guns too
If yon can Major-thnis The trne art of
UT. The GineraI all the while kept 6r.
ing his papers all in string on one side Of
the table. He put his own Messages and
Proclamation in the middle, and flank'd
of with our District Attorney and Mr..
Tany's reports; and then be sifted tho
Globe about and call'd them scouts and
Joragers-Hhere says he, sMaj,r, | am
now nearly ready" and he took off his
specks and gin EN- good rubin, and
put EN- on again. Now. Major" says he.
take your station" And | went round
on tother side. and sat down. Are you
ready" says the Gineral-'Already says |"
and at II we went. The Gineral, he o.
end his fire frat. as agreed. and he fir, a
away from his first Message and then
his second and then he took the Globe.
and then the reports,-an he bfaz'd a.
way like all wrath, for an hour; and az
s1on as he stop'd to take breath. Now
say |, Its my time" and | read the re-
ply spell. and answered all he said in 8
minits' Ard gin EN- look! The Gin.
eral twisted his face most shockin, and
scratched his head too. But he went at
1t again as spunky as ever for he is an q
maz'n tuff critur in fight. and bangs on
like snappin turtle when he gifts hold.
tie banged away spell agin like all ma.
ture; and jest as he took his specs of to
give em rub, gin him the reply agin.
Tie Gineral gin his face another plagy
hard rumble; and sat waiten for him
to fire agiD. Says he, Major. that's q
q frsr ~ 81
It's pecler," say Gineral, l tell you; but
you haiat got the best ont yet-Its jest
gltien warm" saysI.
Major says the Gineral, suppose we
change hatteries--let me take that reply,
and you take all these documents, / like
to fight. says the General, when here 10
ten TO one agin me- so do L. SAYS I
'Glnersl and SO we'd better fight it out a.
we sit
The Gineral lookek a spell at his paper
agin; and. says he, "hlajor, recon we
had better have truce Not now says
!. I've got my hand in now; and want to
see the fight out WELL says the Gin
eral, you see Majar what comes when
any one attempts 10 drive the Execuiive.'
and with that he got up, and took off bis
specs and put EN- in bis pocket, and put
on his hat and took his hickory. and fetch
ed whack on the table .VEro,' says he.
That's cnuf, says |. General"
"And now," says the Gineral, "ict's 70 and
taSe walk"-and so we went. The Gincral
didn't say nothin for more than a mile, and
mother. 80, to rights" says he, "Major eve
ry body says MONEY is very scarce" 'sThats
true enuif," says ], land it's not got as scarce
as II will be afore winter is over, and then
telPd the Gineral the cause ont. "Well,"
says the Gincral, believe you are right, and il
the worst comes to the worst says he, "weIl
have new bank, and that will make money
plenty agn, won't it3' eyes" says ], Sup
pose so, but we can't git new bank, GneraI.
fore this ones time is out, and that's nigh three
years yet; and long afore that time" says I.
there will be trouble enuf, as this one must DO
all the while coliectin in its own money; and
folks will fail and b. bankrupt; and then twenty
new banks will do no good" 81 doi.'l see that,
says the Ginera." al we could make a new
Eank no ', says right of, and let it take up
the business OF the CID one, il wouldn't make
much odds But the law won't allow that, you
know, Gineral?''-And Just then the Gineral
got in the way he Of twitching with his sus
pender buttons behind; and to rights he broke
one oh-"Ihere," says he, "Major, here is
this coniound, d button off agin. "-"Well," says
l that's small matter-hcre is the tailor's
shop' let's so IN and make him put il on-and 80
IN we went. The tailor happened to be ono of
our party, and he was tickled TO death to see the
President, and tho't he was goin TO cit an Office
right off, and was plagy cut down when he found
II was ony button off, and so he jumped back
on his board, and sat down on his heels agin, and
sad If the gineral would take off his pantaloons
h9'd put the button on in few minutes. look
ca at the gineral, and he looked at me; and we
both looked at the tailor.--"Whv,"- says the
gIneral, ''ths is the worst thing major ever
net-fm stump'd completely. II will never do
10 risk walking home with this button off, for il
Io'her one comes off, its all over with me; and if
SIT here without my pantaoons till that fellow
puts on button, I'll kitch my death Of cold!
ook here major, says the gineral, that other
button is takin all the strain, and il will come off
N less than five minues-what is TO be done!-
Il seems to me major, said the gineral, "that no
nan is placed SO often in such real trouble as
nm" eyes," says |, "GineraI, but its fortu,
late for you, you always have me with yea. II
know it, MAJOR says he. "and hope yoa viii
De as true a friend now as ever you have been"