Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1834-05-01

hOTpOraI, uIu you ever IeHu "bout-Nd anu
here, Mr.. Chairman, he rattle off all the
names of the great karikters, in the cas-
tern and western atmospheres, for the last
10 thousand arsl-and finally, says
he, "l'll beat the hull on 'cm!!" i snore,
thinks |, what in tarnation is cumnin
now. said nothin, MIR. Chairman, but
next mornin saw twas cumuin with
vengence.
lie got all hie ostlers together, and,
says he, gentlemen and fellcr citizens
| have bin readIn history, and find that
all of them great ielers did somethin as
tonishin; and that's the hull secret of
their goin down with such Glory to their
posteri,ors-that's the kind of Glory for
my money. Now I'Il do somethin as
tonshin, and to make all go sure, I'll do
somethin that was never done alorc-
PHmake an ErperimeniH My gracious,
MIR. Chairman! how we did stare! On
ly think, says the he'd ostler, what glo-
riOus teller our Boss is!--we are goin to
have an Expcriment-Hurrah for the
Boss. And l can tell you what, MIR.
Chairman, sich bobbcry | haint never
aiorc seen, as they kick'd up, because
we was goin to have an Experiment.
After spell somebody axod, whI is an
Experiment. Umph, says the he'd ost-
Ter, don't you worry-Boss knows all IA
bout that; and the Boss he begun. Says
he, gentlemen and tellcr citizens, did
you ever reckon up how much hay these
Is milyin OF horses eat up evry Year,
Did you ever think how mucG money it
would sell for in rale speshy currency !?
Did you ever consider that l spend all
this money, and don't git nothin to show
for 1t? Did you ever consider that |
might buy new saddils and new bridcls
and new collars, for all these horses, and
kivcr 'em all up in satin, and make a
grand parade with this money? Gentle
men and Teller citizens, my minds made
up! Tamden Jacket is not the feller
to spend all this money, and have nothin
to show fort. Gentlemen, Pm goin to
'conomize-my minds made up.
Here agin, Mr.. Chairman, evry body
was amazingly tickled; Boss was goin
to 'conOnize and make a show for the
7 money. Thinks !, what a wonderful
ieller our Boss is; Of all the bosses we've
had, not one on 'em ever thought of this
aiorc. To be sure, MIR. Chairman,
there's alters some fools in the world
and some on 'en even here, right in the
face and eyes of all this Glory, kinder
pretended to hint that mebby the horses
would want some of the hay, but Boss
wasn't gon to be bolher'd with no small
matters, when the grand and glorious
!. result Of the Experiment was under way !;
If there was some little trouble about
hay, the Experiment would satisfy the
most unre asonabie horse, in the hull es
tablishment.
Well, Mr.. Chairman, the hay was
sold, and the chink for it stow'd away,
Boss new where. Now, says he, my
: feller citizens, there's money a plenty
: SO we all hurrah'd for the Boss. Blu,
: after little while, Mr.. Chairman, the
horses begun to git hungry, and whin-
nerd about, as much as to say, what's
to pay at head quarters, that we don'I
have nothin to eat? So one of the ost-
: lcrs went and told Boss, that it had go,
to be foddcrin time, and the horses wan
ted some hay; but the Boss wasn't the
man to stand no sich nonsense. They
want hay do they? Go and give 'em q
good thrashin, and tell 'em to keep easy
till I've made my Experiment. But
says one of the impudent fellers, the
4 horses can't live without eatin-they'l
: all starve in spite Of thunder Lool
here, mister, says the Boss, you can re
tire; make tracks, says he, or Pll pu
you where you'll stay put. Then, says
$ he, turnin to the rest Oh us, says he
: friends and feller citizens, don't stant
: no slack of that are sort t,-and if any o
! you give it to me, I'll start you off too
y And as for the hay, why that's part o
my Experiment! Them horses can live
y without eatin, jist as well rs any way
e after they've once larnt how. You g
), about your bzness, and PH take The re
II sponsibiity of the horses starvin. Well
: MIR. Chairman, sich patriotism and dcvo
y ton as all this cum too, none of us coul
"a stand, 'twant in natur to stand it; 80 w
ID all riz up, and hurrahed for the Boss
1t And now, Mr.. Chairman, comes tn
y Queerest part of the whole 'ont. AS 500
IL as the horses found they warnt goi
y to have no hay, they rared rite up o
their hind legs; that is, them that had'r
e no collars on, for them that had collars
y couldn't rare if the stabel was a fire.
$, The rest on 'em, MIR. Chairman, rare
N rite up, and pinted committee to wa
IS on the Boss; it was a curis thing, sir, t
IS see horses on committee, but saw
'e with my own eyes. They came rite ir
y sir, and said they were all starvin, an
Is must have hay, or else they must 60