Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1834-11-14

bank, man who had some money in the house
ran as fast as he could there, and produced his
voucher, and demanded his money The clerk
asked him if he would take bullion or paper: he
chose the last which was paid him in the notes
of Sir Williams house As soon as he had put
the notes safely in his pocket, he grinned in the
clerks face, and said Nov, d-n you, you
may break as soon as you like"
The Dumfres Courier says, the Reporters
who furnished Lord Grey's speech, at dinner
in Edinburgh TO the Times, in day and half
from the time of its delivery, travelled in post
chaises, by express, and with lights and desks
inside extended their notes as they travelled
along at the rapid rate of 134 miles per hour
This beats all natur, as Major Downing would
say.
A prisoner who was taken up for most disor-
DERBY conduct in London, excused himself 10 the
magistrate, upon the grounds that he had been
TO the funeral of very dear friend, and felt
bound to drink little something with the UNI
dertaker
Thunder and Lightning-A fellow was lately
swig9ing at the bung hole of gallon key, with
all the ardOr of one who really loved its con-
tents. The key in reply to his drafts, went
clug, clug, clug-on which an anxious expect
ant standing by, remarked Jim, you'd better
stop. don't you hear the thunder?" mo-" re-
pied jim, " but see the keg begins to Tighten"
Bait. Visitor.
In the list of persons licensed to shoot birds in
Yorkshire, England, are the names Of sixty
clergymen.
Coffee is thought remedy for lowness Of spi-
rits A lady learnt the other day that her hus
band had been killed in battle. ''Ah, unhappy
that ami said she, quick, bring me cup Of
cotlee.n
Clerical Conundrum..-In certain large
town, which shall be nameless, one of the rev.
gentlemen TO whom the spiritual instruction of
the inhabitants has been contded, is very fond
Of requesting some of his brethren to officiate
for him in his church Pray" asked an OBJ
server, "why is Mr. So-and.So like England?
Do you give it up? Because he "expects every
man to do his ty."-Lterary Gaz.
Eriraordinary hcident.-A gentleman iE the
neighborhood of this city, in riding across his
farm Il few DAYS since, was suddenly surprised
and alarmed to find his horse gradually sink
ing into the earth. He instantly leaped from
the animal, and by so doing his own life was
prOvidentialy saved. The horse continued to
sink lower and lower into the earth, until he
descended one hundred and fifty feet. AT this
point, he became wedged between two masses
of rock and was crushed to death. The Cha>m
or assure, we are told, appears to have been
formed by the separation OF the earth and rock
in some CONFUSION of nature The width OF
the fiSsure at the surface we have not learned,
but it was covered with thin surface, which
commenced giving way as soon as the weight
Of the gentleman and his horse was added to
it.-Leringtom (ky) Observer.
ANrCDorE OF SIR HUMPHREY DAvY.--lt was the
custom of this scientific individual annually to
visit BalIyShannon (lrcand,) merely 10 enjoy
the fine fishing, for which the river is so ceIe-
brated-a sport of which he was excessively
fond. Having after many fruitless attempts,
owing 10 the inappIcability of his f,es, Tor he
was an excellent fisher, succeeded in landing
fine salmon, he called to his servant, and desr-
ed him to take it TO his hotel. John reluctantly
obeyed, for having no basket, he did not much
relish convey ing the h>h in his hand. He had
gone but a very short distance indeed from HIM
Of the safety-lamp notoriety, when he offered
SiXpence 10 any one to do the business for him.
Sir Humphrey hearing him. brawled out iii
take your money, Sir" John apologlZed, beg
gcd pardon. and Stammered an excuse. mo,
no. says the master, give me the SlXpence,
john insist on it," and took the fish from nm,
and walked with it in his hand through the
street the servant bowling and apologlZng the
whole way, in momentary expectation OF beng
dismissed. In this, however, the philosopher
agreeably disappointed him; he did not dis
charge him, but contented himself with depnv-
ing him of the SiXpcncc, and featuring nm nee
y on the folly oGsuch prepoSterouS conduct IN
waiting man.