Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1834-05-23

Rank. and so, as it's important to keep a. the
napers of the Bank in order, he won't let nobo-
DIV handle 'em without keepin SOM one at
to have an eye out, and put 'em all strait again,
md so forth. The Gineral got hoppin mad at
hearin this, and especially when tney telfu MIN
II was impossible to find any mistake or error
in the Bank unless the Committee had the Sill
tin and mixin all the papers, ana unless lhey
had all the Squire's private letters, ana those OF
his wife and children; and also knew what II
cost the Squire to market every day, ana whe-
Their he roasted his potatoes or not; and more
especially. nothin could be done unless they
knew whether the Squire wore a wig or his
natural hair. =,
We'll saws the Gineral, Pm glad of this, andits
list wbatI expected; now says he, Fl order the
Committee back to Washington, and all on you
must turn to and lend the a hand IN
writin a report to Congress that Will niow BID
die and the Bank all to s~plinters, it Will help to
keen folks from looking into other matters, wont
it Barry? says the Gineral. The MAJOR give
the Gineral a look as knowing as Old sax dld,
at old Miss Cranes Tavern. Now says the Gil
neral. let us take up Major Downing's Letter
again. and list then another one OF the CaDlnet
he spoke up, and says he, Gineral, you halht
hearn vet about the Frenchmen retusin to pay
up Rives' Treaty? hadn't we best take up that
business? and so he telPd the Gineral all the
news list receiv'd from France, about that mat
fer The Gineral some how didn't seem TO
think much about that-he said he always had
a kinder notion that Rives had quit France a
leetle TO soon. and he had boosted too much
aboutit and there was plagy deal OF diner
ence twixt maxim a bargain and cllnchln on,
howsoever, says the Gineral, II we o0nt gt
the money. we have got the Treaty, and that's
more than Mr.. Adams got of the Frenchmen,
and we have had our full share of gtory out ont
any way, !, reckon. :
/ wish though, says the Gineral, instead Of
MI. Livingston, had sent Major Downing right
out there in the two Pollies, along with Captain
Jumper, and says he, talkln about Downing,
let's take up that Letter ofhis'in agin and the I'll
neral begun to hunt Tor 1t among a nun pile OF
papers on the table, and not findin it, he got 'em
all huntin for it, and he begun feelin tor it as ne
did for his spectacles a spell ago, and was ]st
pittin into the same trouble and was tellin what
difficulty he met with in keepin things in order;
ever since | left him, when another member OF
his Cabinet seein the Gineral wouldn't give up
or forgit that sheep story, asked HIM what ne
thought of that new plan of maxim Whlskey,
that it was one Of the most important things that
ever was. for seem now that Masonry and Anti
Masonry was pritty much all one, and goin to
vote the entire Wing Ticket, all over the coun-
try and all the foreigners too; and II Sometnln
warnt done to git up another party they were
all gone-and seem that the Temperance Socle-
ty was now the biggest and strongest IN the
country, it was all important to GIT that on the
Ginerars side. But that's impossible, says the
Gineral. for some of our strongest leaders would
list as soon 60 bare foot, asto give up Whlskey.
What, says the Gineral, would become OF =,
and he was jist goin to give a good list OF WINS
key folks, when the other one went on telln
how it could be done, that a new Invention was
discovered to make Whiskey that any man
could drink, and git drunk too, without shown
ont no more than if he drank water all the while,
ool tho whole trick ont was IN alterlO the
worm, and instead of havin that crooked, to
make it straight, for the crook of the worm was
the hull cause of folks realm round when they
drank Whiskey. So now by this discovery any
man could be q good temperance man and
drink as much Whiskey as he pleased; and no
one would be the wiser one. The Glneral was
so taken with this notion, he stop'd lookln any
further for my Letter; he telpd the Cabinet right
off to 90 to work and git up a proclamation IN
favor of temperance; and to have all the crook
ed worms, altered to strait ones. Why, says he,
there is no tellin to what pitch of glorymy Co
vernmen will go yet; when any man may drink
what he pleaseS, and no mortal can tell the dill
ference? and whilst Mr.. Jefferson could say we
" are all Federalists and we are all Democrats"
I'll say in my next message I'VE are all drunk
and we are all SOBER"
l begun this Letter, by tellin you I'd be in
New York nigh upon as soon as this would, and
I haint tell'd you yet why | am goln there-Well
you see the Senate has ben waitin for a long
spell to git a report from Mr.. fancy, of the ex-
act condition Of the pet Banks, where the Cine
raj keeps the mony now-and as "The Govern
ment" don't choose to tell much about it, have
offered to GO and look into the work myself
ask'd some of the Senators if they wanted to
give me any directions about it, and how was
to act, but they say | know as much about 1t as
any on 'em; but, seein that tother House had
list sent a Committee to examinS Squire Biddle's
Bank best follow the same track they took, and
give the pet Banks a siftin arter the same fash
ion; and so | am off for New York in a day or
two, as soon as | can git my boots footed, and
some shirts mended. want you to tell Zekel
Bigelow | calculate on him to act as my Secre-
tary-and he can be gittin things in order, Tor a
rale genewine and close examination think
it will be best to begin in New York, tor | shall
have the aid of Zekel and if | give them Banks
a siftin and l find ev'ry thing there free from all
party business and corruption, and no monsters
among 'em, my notion is, there wont be no oc-
casion to look no further-as | want to be as
nigh Wall street, as possible; tell Zekel to try
and git a room for me in Towards Exchange
Hotel, Broad street, and one big enuf for spread
in books and papers about.
- ill., Sor, ,,D nhOut n MANS &C |