Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1834-01-02
MONDAY, DECEMBER 80. 1888
DOWNING CORRESPONDENCE.

"Specs," and magical glasses; show
ing by plain matters of fact, how much
more difficult it is to see through the
latter than it is the former.
WASHINGTON, 30th Nov. 1888.
To my old friend DR.. Dwight of the
New York Daily Advertiser who prints
none but my own rale genwine let
ters-
The last letter writ to you tell'd
YOU about the hunt we had after the
Gineral's specks, and when we found
EN- they was all stomp'd to bits in his
Boot. The Gineral and all on us have
been in trouble ever since about it, for
they was given to him by Mr.. Van
Buren,, the very day Mr.. Van Buren,
came to jine him at Washington as Sc.
cretary of State, and he ,ell'd the Cine
raj never to let no body handle them
are specks but himself, and that when
they got out Of order never to let no
body mend EN- but himself. And do
you know, so particular was the Cine
raj, that when Mr.. Van Buren, was
absent, | have known him to send them
specks clean to England for Mr.. Van
Buren, to fix EN- for him; for they had
dozen little screws and springs to EN-,
that sometimes would git out of order,
and when that was the case, you
couldn't see no moro threw EN- than
you could threw Mr.. Van Buren, him.
self. As soon then as we found en- all
broke to bits, as tell'd you in my last
letter, the Gineral was in the greatest
trouble | ever see; and he wrote right
off to Mr.. Van Buren, about it, and
sent the letter, until by express it got
back agin, the Gineral could do moth
ing with business. He was as bad off
as an owl in the sun shine. So to
rights the express got back, and brought
q letter from Mr.. Van Buren,, and a
new pair Of specks-just like the old
ones (afore they was broken) there
warnt mite of difference.
He put EN- on, and he looked as ma.
tural agin in EN- as ever. "Ah!" says
the "Major, these arc the specks after
ALL" "Tis strange" says he, 81 can't
see things with Gov. Cass's specs, nor
Gov. Woodberry's nor any body's as
we'll as | can with these; for they are
Jest like the pair | broke; and then
he read Mr.. Van Buren's letter. "See
here now, Major" says the Gineral,
show kind it is, in Mr.. Van Buren, to
caution me, agin and agin, not to touch
the screws; and do you know" says
the Gineral, "that ever since have
had Mr.. Van Buren, with me, that
whenever we come to read over any
long statement about politics and who
to appoint, or what to do with the
Bank, or any thing that required sharp
lookin into,-he would always first
examine my specs, and take EN- off to
the window, or to a corner with light,
and see that all was right, and try EN-
himself, and then bring EN- back to
me, for as he says, (ond he is a known
critur) that unless | can sec well into
ev'ry thing, best see nothin.
A kinder notion then jest began to
get in my head, that couldn't scratch
out all could do. And says |, "Gn-
eraI, would like now peskily to ex-
anime them specs; for if Mr. Van Buren,
has not got a patent for EN- land seem
he is Vice President and don't need
one) | think of gitten one myself"
"Well," says the Gineral, 81 never
like to refuse you nothin; but Mr.. Van
Buren, made me promise never to let
no body examine into EN-; and especI-
ally you; for" says he, "Major, do
you know that Mr.. Van Buren, has a
notion you know a good deal about
contrivances, and that it is the nature
of your people Down East; and ii
might be he intends to git patent
himself for these very specs, and if so,
he ought to have it; for he says they
are jist as much his intention, as
yourn." "Well," says |, ''tis no mat
ter. But | got kink in me to ex.
anime them are specs; and | couldn't
sleep, nor eat, nor drink, till got hole
on EN-. SO one night, when | and the
Gineral had been readin over the Mes
sage, and it was all finish'd and com
pleie, he put his name to it; "and now,
says he, "Major, do you attend to tn,
printin ont, and git about 100 copie
ont to send to our folks who are dis
s. tant, so they can git it as soon AM
little afore the opposition folks Cal
send it express, latter it is delivered t
congress)-"and so he went to bed
for he was eny most beat out. Nov
thinks |, for try at them specs! for
was all the while thinkin on en-; an