Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1834-10-29
THE FORLORN HOPE.

We notice in late Providence paper the pro-
ceedings of a meeting of the "Forlorn Hope
Society of Bachelors" convened for the purpo-
ses Of electing presiding officer in the place
of one who had recently violated all order and
regulation by perpetrating matrimony. The
deliberations Of those present were distinguish
ed by much soemnity. The choice eventually
fell upon J. N. Esq in whose behalf as recon-
mendation, it was alleged that he had been po-
sitively and peremptorily rejected by five LITER
ent ladies. He was Immediately indicted into
Office and the account states that the diadem,
composed of half a newspaper, was placed up
on his head, the wand of Office, a half pair of
tongs with an old glove upon the end, was put
into his hand, and the Society paid their re-
spects. As the President is, er offcio, Grand
Master Of the Most Noble Order of Celibacy,
the Vice President assisted by the Secretary,
proceeded to install him. The accOlade, or blow
across the shoulders was administered with
half pair of bellows; the collar of the order, a
lady's old slipper, was hung about the neck,
by half pair of stay-acings: an old garter was
clasped around his left leg, and an old spur
buckled upon his right heel.
The subsequent proceedings of the meeting
are thus notiCed:-FhH Gaz.
The Secretary read a communication pur-
porting that w. A. an absent member, had
committed matrmony the evening previous, be-
ing as was supposed in state of mental de-
rangement Upon the receipt of this melan-
choly intelligence, the Society chanted a re-
QUEEN in grand chorus; after which, there was a
profound silence for fifteen minutes. G. L.
Esq was found guilty of writing several pieces
Of poetry addressed "To Mary" which were
published in the - Magazine. The defen-
dant pleaded in eXtenuaton of his offence, the
villainous quality of the poetry. Ordered that
his books of poetry and all his novels be seized
and his writing desk locked and the key depoSi-
ted in the Presidents left breaches pocket, the
right being filled with notions of his own.
L. NJ. was found guilty of walking out repeat
edly with Miss C, and manifesting other
symptoms of disposition to courtship.-
ed to Block Island for month"; without books
or writing desk. J. A, Esq, was convicted of
presenting Miss with an elegant pair Of
earrings and showing symptoms of being far
gone with the prevailing epidemic.-Ordered to
read twenty pages Of Nautilus on Population
every day. fasting, till the work is finished, and
then to go through it again at the rate of forty
pages daily; to avoid all parties, and to study
metaphysics or algebra, to- cool his blood.
W. G.. was found guilty OF paying improper
attention to Miss B. and also to Mrs. G.
Young widow, and otherwise wasting his time.
Ordered, to read GulliverS description OF a te-
male Yahoo. & Dean SwifS Description ola La
dy's Dressing Room. The criminal list being
disposed Of the following resolutions were
unanimously adopted
Resolved, nat we view WITH CONSERVATION
the alarming ravagcs of our great enemy, mat
rimony, and the constant apostacy of our men,
bers whose numbers are now reduced to twen-
ty-siX.
Whereas, the approaching winter being the
season of balls, parties, assemblies, &c. replete
with destinations seductons, and temptations,
calculated to mislead the weak and unwary;
Therefore resolved That during the APP
preaching season, we will attend no parties Of
pleasure but gdnder ScrdpeS.
Resolved, That in order to withdraw our at
tention as muchas possible from dangerous con-
temptations we will addict ourselves TO the stu
DIV of abstruse sciences, attend political meetings
and read no part of the newspaper but that
which relates to foreign news or domestic poll
tics; to read the next Presidents message, be it
long or short, the reports of the different
Secretaries and all the speeches during the
next session Of Congress, particularly Sena-
tor Benton'S and isaac hills, and finally to keep
up feeling of nausea and disgust, to read the
editorial remarks in the Globe as often as once
fortnight, which the physician Of the Society
declares is as much as human nature can en-
dure.
After transactng some business of minor i'm
portance the meeting was adjourned sine die