Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1834-08-29

Pirate-Capt Marshall, of The brig Allan.
tic, arrived yesterday from Port au Plat, was
boarded off Cape Nicholas Mole by piratical
brigantine, Baltimore built clipper painted
black, with red streak Her crew consisted OF
about fifty men, but one gun on pivot was to
be seen. She boarded the Atlantic two days in
succession: first under American colours, and
then under Spanish. The pirate abused Capt.
NJ, but the Atlantic having only mahogany on
board, there was nothing he cold take away
N. Y. C0ur. E Eng.
Hoto to get the dyspepsia and hor to cure it.-A
very active and laborious tallow chandler ofths
city, enjoyed excellent health and appetite while
working among the heat and grease, and sweat
ing over his fragrant cauldrons and Kettles
He made money, grew rich and at length retir-
ed from business, to enjoy himself "Now,"
said he, "I'll take my ease; Pll live like gen.
tleman; I'll work no more among the soap and
candles-not |. If happiness is to be bought
with money, iii have it,"
But our ex-tallow chandler was mistaken IN
his ideas of being happy, because he had retir-
ed from labor and was rich. This very excep.
ton from labor made him miserable. For want
of his accustomed exercise, he was seized with
the dyspepsia. He had luxurious table. but he
could not enjoy il for want of appetite He
grew low-spirited; he got the blue devils sad
ly and fanced himself swiftly Fastening to the
other world.
Full Of this idea, he called upon DR.. H
for assistance. The doctor was acquainted with
his former way of life, and rightly judged that
want of his usual exercise was the cause Of his
complaint.
"What would you advise me to do, Doctor?"
said the patient.
$50 home, and 60 to making Candles" said
the Doctor.
The ex- tallow chandler was very much vexed
at this advice. and for two reasons-in the first
place, that the doctor should presume to hint at
his former occupation, OF which, since he had
become gentleman, he was quite ashamed;
and in the second place, that the doctor should
presume to infer that his complaint was owing
to his having left off that occupation. Where
FORE signifying that he would not trouble the doc
tor for any more advice, he went away in pas
sion. But his complaint getting daily worse and
worse, he after while posted back again to
see DR.. H, whom he accosted thus Well,
doctor, | was very much affronted, as had
reason to be, at the joke you tried to put upon
me, under pretence Of giving me advice when
was here last. But Pve been getting worse
and worse daily, and now Pve come again to
ask your serious advice what I'd best to dog"
$50 home, and 60 to making Candles" said
the doctor again.
"This is too bad" thought the patient" it's
past all endurance: to be reminded second
time of my old business, and that, too when
come to ask advice, and pay for it, in civil
wayr
He bottled out of the house in a greater pas
sion than before He went away and applied
to some other physician. He took medicine but
it did not do. He applied to another. He took
his medicine in like manner; but that did not do.
In short, after consulting and taking the medi-
cine of half 4 dozen different physicians, and
still getting worse, he concluded to take up with
the advice of DR.. -, and return to his old en-
ployment. He accordingly threw off the gen.
tleman, put on his old shop clothes, dived elbow
deep into the grease, and, in a very short time
ate with as good an appetite, and was as strong
and healthy as ever.-M y. Trans.