Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1834-12-25
A BACHELORS REVERIE,

''lttle responsibilities" as Fanny Wright
calls them. Heigho! I'm getting to be-.
no, not "middle aged gentleman" for
Pve been that any time the last ten
years; no, Pm gentleman declining in
years, and may advertise for house
keeper without giving handle TO SCAN
die to make free with my character
Twenty-Five years ago, | should aflront-
od the man who ioretold. this;-that
should be sitting this day in an arm chair,
newspaper in hand, breakfast before me,
one foot on cushion, and only one cup
and two eggs on the table. Newspapers
are stupid things; I'D much rather chat
over my morning meal. Why the deuce
am not married! Nobody makes tea fit
to drink now; and the toast never comes
up 10 me hot. What capital tea Lucy
Smith used to make. Poor Lucyl-l
wonder what made me think of her? Peo-
pie said Lucy and would certainly
make u match, and so we should, sus-
pect, if it hadn't been for that cursed
cousin Of hers. Pm sure she would have
married me if l had asked her:-but l
kept putting it off day after day, and he
cut me out, and be hanged to him. | was
a young gentleman then, and thought
could marry whenever l liked. They |
went away to the west and got rich; he's
a member of congress-, and she has
grown fat, and rides about in her car
riage, with two or three grown up daugh-
ters; pretty girls too, as Pm told, but
they'll never be like their mother. Pve
ribbon of hers, that she used to wear
round her slender waist, and bribed her
little brother to steal for me with the
loan Of my iowling piece; and sometimes
when it rains, and l feel sentimental,
take it out Of my writing desk, and look
at it awhile, and think l'li throw it into
the fre-but don't though-and there
it is yet in the secret drawer with my
mothers picture, and the last lock Of my
own hair. They make capital wigs now
by the way; nobody seems 10 suspect
that my curls are not the natural CROP,
Lucy used to say that my hair was beau
tilul, and Pm almost certain she cut of
a lock once, when was asleep on the
sofa. wonder whether she's lost any
Of her splendid teeth; mine have stood it
out pretty well, but they're going
Parln y said hers would last long time,
and he ought to know. must 60 TO him
and get him to make me couple Of new
ones. What shall do with myself to-
day? I've given up business, and made
money enough to last Inc my time. Pve
no one to leave it to when Pm gone
Where's the use of going on adding dol
lar TO dollar, and acre to acre, unless one
has children to set up ? Nine marriages
in the paper to-day! Nine husbands and
nine wives created since yesterday morn
ing. l dare say they'll all have young
sprouts-say four apiece, OH the aver
age; that's thirty-six little mouths to be
stuffed with bread and butter, and seven
ty two little feet TO buy shoes for, and
two hundred and eighty-eight little fin
gers to wash and keep clean! No fool
Of job that for the nine papas and ma
mas l was always remarkably fond Of
children.
There's new married couple moved
into the house over the way, OH purpose
to plague me, | do believe; they seem to
be fond of each other, and dreadfully
happy. There's gig comes to the door
every afternoon, and he hands his wife
into it SO carefully, and she smiles at him
SO brightly as they drive of, that Pm al
most tempted 10 wish they might break
their necks before they come back
That's nice looking girl that's come to
stay with them during the honey moon;
she's the BRIDES sister or something,
dare say; the prettiest foot, and the most
rogueish eyes Pve ever seen-except pit
Lucy Smiths. l wonder if she's enga-
; ged to be married; don't see any very
i suspicious young men come to the door,
and ---. But what the deuce is
it to me, whether she is or not Pm an
old bachelor, and must 60 down to the
grave without leaving any body to cry
for me. l should like though to see the
girl little nearer; it's easy enough to
get introduced in the house, and though
Pm too old to marry, there's no reason
that l know Of, why an old fellow like
me, shouldn't do the polite thing to 8
new conner into the neghborhood. 1've
u new coat coming home, that my artis
says will make me look fifteen years
younger-rather impertinent by the way
And Pm not 50 amazingly old after all
When l sat down to breakfast, felt ra
ther blueish, and thought myself quite {
, Methusaleh. Poh, no such thing car
walk as briskly as ever, almost-I car
ride, sing, dauce-no, I'D better leave
out the dancing; but what Of that' I'n
n good looking, middle aged man, tire,
: Of living alone, aud hang me, but III
; make one more try for the ring, if di,
for it,. There's pretty girl over Oh,