The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1833-01-08

served a good beatingi And dont't you
remember how you threw up your eyes,
like great hypocritical old maid as you
are, and refused TO rejoice, when he at
last got the better of his antagonist ?
Ha hah MISS Goody Twoshoes, I've
not lost my memory, though it seems you
have"
Miss Massy did not pretend to deny
this, but threw up her hands and ex-
claimed, "what little vixen ~
Miss Virginia, and Miss Pen, and Miss
Georgiana, the next sister to little Car
ry, and the Great West, all called out
shame on her, for treating her elder sis
ter in this manner but as for Miss York,
she had got such wipe about her oys-
ter war, that she sat with folded arms
as quiet as lamb. But Little Garry
was match for them all. She turned
Ito Virginia, and exclaimed.
"YoU needn't talk, madam how long
lis it since you wrote saucy letter to
our father, telling him as much as that
Ihe was an old fool, and didn't know
his own rights, or those of his daughters.
If don't mistake, you were very obe-
ldient then, for you threatened if he
Ididn'nt mind his p's and q's, you'd quit
his house and kill your own mutton. As
for you Miss Pen, with your quaker bon
net and smooth face-how do hate hy-
pocritical faces las for you, Miss
am almost ashamed to talk about such
a filthy subjects, but didn't you once fly
in the face of our good father, (at least
I thought him SO then) because-because
-pshaw it makes me sick to think of
lit-because he raised the price of his
whiskey and as for you, Miss Geor-
lgiana, you'd better go home and take
care of the poor old Cherokee indian,
you want to turn out of the farm old un-
Gle Charles left you, like great oaf as
he was and you'd better go and settle
that matter about the parson-you un-
derstand me, sister. Marry, come up |!
Instead of lecturing one in this manner,
| tell you again, I've calculated the val
ne of the family union to fraction, and
settled the balance by Cookers arithme-
ltic, and there's an end of it,"
Then she turned round to the Gre at
West
"As for you, you great overgrown
awkward thing, you'd better 60 home
ltoo, and put on your moccasins. Only
look at the creature in her homespun
Ifrock, stitched with bark, and, pinned
with great tborns !-What pretty f.
CURE you'd make in drawing room,
and who's your mantua-maker, pray !?
[ suppose you don't remember either,
when you threatened the old gentleman,
to run away, the Lord knows where, be-
cause he did not choose to go to logger
heads with one of his neighbours, about
a mlll-stream, he would not let you sail
{ bark boats on! Once for all, tell you,
you're all as deep in the mud as am in
/ the mire, and had better be quiet about
the family union. There isn't one of
Iyou, that has not deserved to be we'll
: Awitched halfa dozen times"
The broadside pretty well silenced
Miss Massy Twoshpes, and the rest of
them, and almost overpowered the old
/ lady, who could not help in her heart,
however, being proud Of daughter so
, much like herself, in the matter Of hav-
, ing tongue in her head. After consid-
cring short time, she looked round,
| and fixed her attention on Miss York,
whose good temper and discretion she
looked to, in great measure, for set
Ting all their family feuds. She accord
, |ingly called upon her for an opinion on
the best mode of bringing it about.
, The good spinster was somewhat
| puzzled. The truth is, her head had
f one opinion, and her heels another the
heart was pretty decided, but the ends
Of the fingers and toes, being, as l OBJ
+. served before, such great way off, had
e each different bias, and could by no
) means be brought to a proper under
s,and:ng with each other. The conse-
$ quence was, the poor girl was puzzled
: so many different ways, that she could
hardly hold together, and spoke first on
/ one side the question, then the other,
until Satan himself would have been
puzzled to tell her real opinion, if she
! had any, which was doubtful.
r Now if l had been the old lady, l
should have made something like the
] following speech.
"Sit down, you overgrown goose,sit
down till you can make up your mind to
3 say something body can understand.
t And now hear me, young ladies. Touch
} ing the blessings and advantages Of the
I family union, which hope none of you
t doubt or disparage, except Miss Garry,
f who advise to stay where she is, for
, nobody else will take in such vixen
, touching the family union. l say, trust
, there is no necessity for me to point out
its benefits and blessings. Miss Garry
, may calculate them if she pleases, but l