Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1833-07-18
New Series--No. 2l.

WINS. They enjoy whole season Of
benefits. AT the very worst, in trying
to drown themselves, they dive on some
treasure undiscovered since the Span
ish Armada; or tie their halter 10 q
hook that unseals hoard in the ceiling.
That's their luck. There is another
kind of fortune, called III luck; SO iii,
that you hope he will die; but il DON'T
that's my luck.
Other people keep scrap books; bus
1, scrape book. 1t is theirs to inser:
bon-mots, riddles, anecdotes, carica.
lures, faceti@ of oil kinds; mind to re-
cord mlschances, failures, accidents dis.
appolniments--in short, as the betters
say,l have alwaysa bad book. Witness Z
few extracts, bitter AS the extract orbark.
April In. Married on this day; in
the FIRST week Of the honeymoon, tumbs
led over my father-in. laws beehives?
He has $50 bees; thanks to me he is
, now able TO check them. Some Of tho
insects having an account against me,
preferred to settle on my calf. Others
swarmed on my hands. My bald head
seemed perfect hulhming top1 Two.
hundred and fifty two stings---it should
be "stings--hnd arrows of outrageous
iortunel" But that's my luck. Rush.
ed bee-blind into the horse pond, and
torn out by Tiger, the house dog
Staggered into the pig sty, and collar
ed by the sow---sus. per coll. for kick
ing her Stockings; recommended oils for
my wounds, and none but lamp ditto in
the house; relieved Of the stings at
last--what luck' by $50 operations.
9th. Gave my adored Belinda black
eye iii the open street, aiming at lad
who attempted to snatch her reticule.-.@
Belinda's part taken by big rascal,
as deaf as post, who wanted to fight
me ''for striking woman" My luck
again.
10Th. Purchased mare warranted
50 gentle a hdy might ride her, and.
indeed, no animal could be quieter, ex.
cept the leather one, formerly in the
showroom at Exeter Change. Meant
for the first time to ride with Belinda
to the Park--put my foot into the STIR
rup, and found myself on my own
back instead Of the mares. Other
men are thrown by their horses, bue
saddle does 1t for me. Well nothing
so hard as my luck--unsoss it be the
fourth flag or stone from the post al the
north corner OF Hurley street.
l4th. Run down III wherry BY 1
coal. brig, OFF Greenwich, but proyi.
dentially picked up by steamer that
burst her boiler directly afterwards.
Saved to be scalded! But misfortunes
with me never came single, from my
very childhood. | remember when my
little brothers and sisters tumbled down
stairs, they always hitched half way
at the angle. My luck invariably turn.
ed the corner. 1t could not bear to
butte me single bump.
18th. Had my eye picked out by q
patior who was axing HE way he did'A
care where. Sent home in hackney
chariot that uPset. Paid Jarvey d 50.
vereign for shilling. My luck all o.
yer!
LIST Of May, my fue on fire. Not
a sweep to be had for love or moneyt
for me--the parish engine soon atriv.
ed, with oil the charity school. BoyI
are fond Of playing, and INDUCED their
propensity by playing into my, best
drawing room. Every friend ! had
dropped into dinner. Nothing but La
cedemonian black broth. Others have
pot-luck, but have not even pint
luck-at least Of the right sort.
9th. Found, on getting up, that the
kitchen garden had been stripped by
thieves, but had the luck at night to
catch some one in the garden. walking
into my trap. Afraid to cali out, for
fear Of being shot at BY the gardener,
who would have hit me to d dead cer-
tainty--for such is my luck!
10th. Agricultural distress il treat
to mine. My old friend Bill must
hehceforth call him Corn ill-has this
morning, laid his unfslkng wooden leg
ON my tenderest toe, like thresher.-lx
In spite q Dibdin, | don't believe that
oak has any heart, or it would not b.
such walking tread mill!
18th. Two pieces Of "nny usual.a
First knocked down by mod bull
Secondly, picked up BY a pick pocket.
Any body but me would have found
one honest humane man out Of : whole
crowd; but ! am born to suffer. wheth.
or done by sccidc1s or done hv de.
sign. Luckily for me and the pick.
pocke,, Was able to identity him,
bound Over to prosecute, and had
the Satisfaction of exporting him to 30.
tany Bay. lsuppose | performed well
on a court of iustice- FIR tho nevt dev--