Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-04-17

We find the following IN BeIIast paper. IL
will enIiven our more grave recitals.
THE following, or something very like it, we
are assured, occurred in Police Court in Ire
land. A smart good looking IrishWan was ush'
cred into Court, backed BY three Of the fair sex,
two Irish and one Scotch, who signi6ed to the
Court that here was jewel Of boy, who had
married every three Of them, and that they were
determined to lave it all to his Honor's pleasure
to make up the difference by saying which OF them
was to get him." The court was ~ded to ex.
cess, but to describe the tattered squad is impos.
sible.
Judge-What have you to say for yourself,
sirl d. you acknowledge that you are married to
these three women!
Pat-Och, your Honor, it was a pet OF day
tina, was stepping down to the shore to look
Judge.-N0 evasion, sir answer the question.
Pat.-Its coming to it am. but man may
tell his own story his own way, with the pleasure
of your honor. (Cries Of hear him. your honor,
its himself that can speak the deserving truths
Judge.-Answer me. SIR? Did you marry
these three womenl (Crps of that's the ticket
Och Pat you've your feet in a box with nail
in itN
Pm-Sure your ho,,... fnr the matter Of mar.
ryinc, it's the thing was Away fOi tc do; but TO
tell your honor the plain holy truth, it's mo'i
than I'm able to keep the three, though the never
better workman lifts a tool, but these same
wives, bad luck to them, lift the whlskey bottle
az often as do the spade, an your honor must
lnow, from experience, that the like of that
won't do at all, at all. (Cheers) Out upon you
for alsfacting liar shouted the theee with dis
cordant chuus.
Juage-Sence. must tell you. sir, that
will take other measures to make you answer my
question. If convicted, you will be put in the
pnlory.
The court now assumed an appearance OF 70.
mantle confusion. The miscellaneous boys had
the ascendency. sPiIIor him. shouted one
Hoist HIM into the nate little box roared ano.
ther Bad luck to the eggman's basket. that
can catch hold said diminutye grey eyed
Irishman. Whist wee, chaps, WI yer haver:-
ing till we hear what the Lard says bawled d
Scotch Pedar Here Pat struck in. Bad
scran to the nodde that gave birth to the thought
Of making big public spectacle OF tInder-heart'
ed Christian that wouldn't harm the wool upon
the lambs back The trio struck the same
chord in succession.
tOcb, the darkness of the night has come up
ON me- said the taller Of the two Irish women.
that ever the eye Of Peggy Muroney should look
upon her dearest jewel. Patrick O'Filnn' ana ne
in the plnries-t Sure an this IS trial that the
mother-no nor the grand mother o. me neither
lever though, her daughter would see-Patrlck
O'Flnn put up like siatie boyle. and Pelted
like sign post. Oh that the crows had pick
ed his carcase two long years ago: said Nancy.
.Weas me but I'm heart broken body, the
day never dawns but hear i'll news atore sun
set? Pate to b. team to the pillOry like ram
scailion. an for maxim bit a bargain WI thae
twa randy hizzies!' said the little Scotch NO.
/ man. Is there never pardon that can be ex-
trn.Lrd to the penitent christian, roared Pat IN
anguish.
Thus the party went on to the infinite amuse-
ment of the Court and the Judge was unable to
maintain his gravity. 1t appeared however, on
investigation, that neither Of the three were re-
eularly married to Pat, further than by consent
Of parties. The Judge dismissed the case, say
ing to Pat that he left them TO settle 1t among
themselves. The wives agreed TO let Pat have
his choice. Oh said Pat, 8 I'll please ye all.
III engage you, if you'll just houp your Up TIL
thank his honor. Sure, your honor, my hearts
as soft az mushroom. and az finder as human
ty, and it's overlooking it is, with the Kindness
Of your honor. May thousand sweet Angels
speak peace to you on your mortal couch' anu
NAV the dews of the blue heavens tall SOIL on
your honor's grave. At the termination OF whieh
aspiration. he was borne OF by the three rivals
followed bv a host Of appIaadins urchlns