Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-08-15
ALEXANDRIA GAZETTE.
THE MILITIA CAPTAIN AND THE ES
SENCE PEDLAR

=
Harry B., Of one Of the interior towns
of this State, was, few years since, chosen cap
tain Of company Of mititia At the next train.
ing day, with true military pride and spirit, he
dressed him in suit Of regimentsls, buckIed a
sword to his side. and marched to the field. He
did wonders that day, in the way Of command !;
he marched and counter. marched his soldiers; he
made them once and again 60 through the manu-.
al exercise-but what most acquired him popu
larity was. he gave them as much grog as they
could drink, and drank with them into the bar.
gain. In short, Captain B acquitted him
self to the entire satisfaction Of all concerned
and Of no one more than HIMSELF
Just at the close Of day. he dismissed his CON-
pany, and, full Of the happy and valorous feel
ings which the rum and the occasion had insplr.
ed, he marched away to attead an evening party
of gentlemen and ladies, some two miles off, to
which he had been previously invited. When
he had got about halfway, coming into thicket
of wood, he espied something spec killed. with black
and white in the path just before hun. Not know.
ing exactly what it was, partly on account Of the
dusk Of the evening, and partly in consequence
OF the obfuscati0n Gf his brain, he resolved to at
tack il, sword in hand.
No sooner thought than DONE lie vigorously
drew his trusty steel, and marching up. aimed
blow at what he supposed to be the head OF his
enemy, but which unfortunately proved to be its
tail, which the creature had just then erected
over its back. No sooner was this attack made
than the creature, wheeling round. with the wea.
pons which nature had given it for defence, let
drive at the Notwithstanding, like the Par.
THAN, as it ran. 1t was then that the captain
FIRST discovered that he had engaged skunk.
Heavens and earth, what an oaor! Ii was
81 pnts
not the captains nostrils alone which were as
saied-the shot took him IN the eyes, aud for q
while SO effectually blinded him, that he could no
longer see-and although he continued to lay
about him valorously with his sword. the enemy,
taking advantage Of his blindness, made good his
| retreat into the bushes, and was seen no more.
! 1t was some time before the captain could fair.
~ recover his eve. sisht-which when he had
done, he proceeded to a neighboring rill, and
washed the smartins liquid from his eyes, and
endeavoured to cleanse his person from the in
tulerable odor With which it vas imbued. But
he tried in vain. Nevertheless he had too much
regard for his honor to fail in an appointment,
without further delay, to the evening party.
| As soon as he entered the drawing room, which
he did in true military style, the ladies began to
pull out their smelling bottles, and to apply thei,
handk erchefs to their noses, and the gentlemen
recovered sufficiently TO return the captains sa.
lute-when all in breath they asked him what
had happened, that he had brought such smell
| with him.
Why said the captain coolly, met with an
essence pedlar on the way. and bought out his
| whole stock"
This was so we'll said that the whole company
burst into aIaugh-aud, although they were obi.
ged soon to disperse, account OF the villan0us
odor he brought, they forgave Harry, in conse.
queuce Of the wit wherewith he had so we'll sea.
sOned II.
But it was not in his face only, that the valor.
Gus captain had received the shot. A part OF the
inexpungable odor had fastened upon his resi-
mentals; and, after trying in vain to free them
from the horrd scent, he dug hole, and buried
them six feet under ground. He then broke his
sword across stump, and resigned his commits
sion.
well, Harry said an acquaintance Of his,
some time afterwards, what have you done
with your regimentalss'
Five buried them, with the honors Of war,
said the Captain, gravely.
That's merely 10 'dsinfogue' them, sup.
pose. said the other, and you'll dig them up
again before the next training dayl' ,..,..
s No. said Harry, / shall never disturb them
again. I've broke my sword and resigned my
commission o. ..'Ht go s''H
The ID you have!--what, so soon!' aras
Why, thought twas high time" returned
the excaptain, when couldn't travel the road
without being insulted BY every skunk that chose
to turn up his tail at me.' '"o|'" "' -''t "a ~"
| So~~Noo w O~&oI