Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-10-28

the table, and each look posSesslon VI nnee.
They both strongly resembled Minis: ana what
was my astonishment when ne exclaimed, al
dressing my widow, "Mary, my love, may give
them some orauge!"
singular mode of addresslnga deceased iriend's
relief. But the mystery was soon explained
Sir Marmsduke Mitts filled his glass. and after
insisting that all the company should follow DIS
examnIe no said to his SON, g This is your birth.
dav. lack: here's YOUR health. my boy. and may
YOU and Mary long live happy together! Come,
nv friends the health Of Mr. and Mrs Mitts."
So then. after all, | had come out on an exceed.
ingly cold dav to See nv widow doing the honors
as Mrs. Mitts!
When is your birtbdays" said Sir Marina.
duke to his daushterin-law
"Iu june" she replied: Z" but have not been
in the habit Of keeping birthdays till lately: poor
Mr. Smith could not hear them to be kept"
What's that about poor Smith," said the
successor to my house. my wife. and my other
appurtenances. 8. Do you say Smith could not
bear birth.daysa Very silly. Of him then; but
poor Smith had his oddities -" u
"Oh!" said n,y pidow. and Mr.. Mitts wye,
" We cannot alrays command perfection; poor
dear Mr. Smith meant well. bat every man can.
not be Mins" She smiled, aud nodded down
the table; Mr. Mitts looked, as well he might,
particularly pleased, and then the ladies' left the
room.
..Talkins of Smith," said Sir Marmaduke.
I" what wretched taste he had. poor man! lhls
place was quite thrown away upon him; he had
DO idea of It's capabilities.
NO." replied gentleman to whom bad be.
queathed legacy" with the best intentions IN
the world. Smith was really very odd man.
1" His house," added another, who used to dine
Nth me three times a week, "was never tho.
roughly asreeabIe:-t was not his fault, poor fel.
low!"
"No, no." said rery old friend of mine. at
the same time taking snuff from gold box which
had been my gift" he did every thing Tor the
best; but, between ourselves, Smith Was bore"
sit is WE'LL" said Mr.. Mitts. "that talking Of
him has not the effect which is attributed TO talk
ing Of another invisible parsonage! Let bin rest
in peace: for. if it were possible that he could be
re .animated, his temperance here to claim bis
goods and chattels, and, above all. his wife,
would be attended with rather awkward conse-
guences."
So much for my posthumous curiosity. Vain
mortal that was, to suppose that alter dream.
less sleep of ten long years, could return to the
living, and find the place and the hearts That l
once filled. still unoccupied! In the very hand.
some frame of my own picture, was now placed
portrait of John Mitts, ESQ.,; mine was thrown
aside in an old lumber. room, where the sportire
children OF my widow had recently discovered it,
and with their mimic swords had innocentlY pok-
ed out the eyes of what they were pleased to de.
nominate "ihe dirty picture Of the ugly man."
Ny presumption has been properly rewarded; let
no one who is called his last ccount, wish like
me, to be permitted to revisit the earth. II such
a visit were granted, and, like me, he returned
invisibly. all that he would see and hear would
wound his spirit: but, were he permitted to re.
appear, uisibiy, in propria persona, notifying.
indeed, would be his welcome!
1t is not my intention to bequcath to my read
err a lecture, or a sermon, ere return 10 my ia
mily vault: yet the " the Post morten Cosita
tons Of the late popular Mr.. Smith" are not
without moral I. II. B.