Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-08-27

1 leg sent the Gineral new churn Of his own in.
vention; and he calls it the jackson Churn, -
he wants patent for it. The cute crltur SAYS,
in his letter TO the Gineral, that that are ch1rn
is Jest like His Government-its ony got one
wheel, and smasher, and that it will make more
butter than any other churn, and out Of eny most
any thing. The Gineral is so veil pleased with
it, he will set and turn it nearly all day. Says e
"Maor, like this ere churn amazingly, that Bissel
Is KNOWN fellow. II that churn had been made
BY Congress, it would have more than so wheels
and springs, and make no more butter arter all.
Major" says he "teIl Peleg thank him; and
send him patent"
And so did; and teIled him in the letter,
that the Gineral would keep his churn in the hall
Of the White house, to let folks see that it didn't
require as many cog wheels to make butter, as
they think on; and when they come up chamber,
in the Cabinet Room. and find ony me and the
President, they'll understand it the better. When
the Gineral come to sign this letter. " we'll" says
he, Major, that's just what was thinking on.
We get every day an everiastin bach Of letters
from MIR. Van Buren, & Amos KindIe, and they
are SO pagy jagged. that we cant make 'em fl,
exactly with some others, eny most as jagged,
from the South and West, and all from our folks
too. One wants one thing, aud one wants tother.
Some Of our folks down South say, if the Bank is
put down. we shall all be split up into spInters
there. And jest SO. ony tother way, they say,
we shant find in week any Of our folks north IT
the Bank is rechartered, and some talk Of the
Nulli6ers in Georgia going for Mr.. Van Buren,,
aud that we must look out sharp, and not do no.
thin asin 'em. And some say that are tower OF
Mr.. Webster away West, and his speeches, b.
Their some on 'em pag,ly. was little stump
ed for spell myself; and tell'd the Gineral,
say "Gineral, it you expect me to satisfy all
these folks, you're mistaken, we cant do H."
says, /. "Well them" says he, "we must
send for Mr.. Van Buren," This kinder netled
me, and says /, Gineral, you ba'nt forgot that
are churn alteady"-" no." says he, "we'll
stick to that Major"
"Wel then," says "do you think that Mr..
Van Buren, will use that are churni he keeps his
bread buttered," SAYS L, I" by more wheels than
that are chuEn's got" SWELL Major, says the
Gineral. "he is pagy curious crItter, aier all
he'll make wheels turn sometimes right agin
one another, yet he gifts along-anj when he lets
his slice fall, or some one nocks il out Of his
hand, it always some how falls butter side up''
-" WE'LL" says L." Gineral, don't you know
why?"n not exactly" says he, " Major"-"well,"
says L." III tell you-he buffers both sides
at once" says l. The Gineral drew his face all
into rumpe for about a minute, and then he
snorted right out.
The Gineral talks Of goin TO the Hermitage
next sprins-he says he thinks he has done enuf
for the country-and think SO too-he says
may 90 along with him or stay and lend Mr.. Van
Buren, hand-we'il say something about this
in the Message.
Yours as before
J. DOWNING, Major
Downinsville Militia, Cd Brigade.