Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-06-20
the WALHAM WAC.
From the Diary of a Joke Hunter-l

From the UtaTy q JoHe A""ef-1
= Sam answered my knock. :. Mas
ter's out, Sir, said he; " found himself very
queer and qulsbyish this morning, 50 he's took
the Fulham stage, and gone down to Mr.
Hooks" Felt exceedingly queer and quisoyish
myself, and determined on. following the exam
Die Of 50 good judge. Made the best % my
way to the White Horse Cellar. Mat webster
was there-cIean as usual, but evidently down
upon his luck. Inquired the reason. WhS
it's blue look out, MASTER" said he. Here
now, arter trying for more nor a month and
spending within trife, one and ten pence u
bring the thing to hnal commencement hey
turns their beggarly backs. and laughs IN my
fare Oniy couldn't afford il. mud me, I'D
ba. act to and kicked 'eml" Begged him to at
ford me further particulars. " Why, to tell you
the truth. MASTER" said Mat, {" i thought I'D
make nv fortin-but my Inventions all smoke.
il seems-other people invented the same thought
years 400. found the way to make a shilling
bottle q backing for two pence, vinegar 'nciud-
ed: hut the backing makers calls that extrava'
CANT, and says a shillng's WORTH bottle ana a''
only costs 'em five farthlngs-or heise now
should think they could liver
Condoled with Mat on his misfortune, and IN
CURED for the queerest coachman MAI sa'u
that Watham Jem was the rummest kiddy on
the road. barring duck nosed Dick. But the
latter warment," added Mat, .'arn't so CONVEX
sible, that's Jem acoming up-he there with the
blue muzze and white hat, what look 10 "icked
him what's all clothes and hands ms
face. had occasion to tip han d's IN Inc
ogle t'other day and you see master, he man,
struck my colours yet" :,
Jem now Approached" Fu'ham. Sir" said
he. "a box vacant" Agreed to ride by hls
side, and in rather more than ten minutes we
started. Over the stones conversation was out
Of the question but the moment We got on the
road we had talk to the following eject.
But black eye, that Of yours. Jem-how did
you get M"
81 was trying to wink. Sir"
"Your near horse is lame in the oil fore loot,
Jem"
High grand actinDed horse that! Lamed
himself last night by striking his toe against his
upper teeth. Been charger"
The others lame tons
"Yrs trod opona frog poor thing"
's How he whistles!"
San! he'. Unavailable, Sir. Got thrush in
each foot
{" Wha, time will you reach Fulham"
4" | shall draw the buot of nv vehicle on the
foot Of the bridge precisely at eleven"
"Why, you're punster, perceived"
s.No; Pm Chelseman--birth, parentage. and
educ atom"
Write good hand!"
"Not at ALL was born pen .shunner-close
by the College. but for all that can make my
mark to receipt for any amount. IwIg this
here old genleman-' Fuiham, Sir!'-l only
SAYS that to plague him. He's Rear Admiral,
Rear indeed, and can't ride rocking horse!-
He wont't travel with me."
I" How have you offended bimf"
Why, one night when we got to his door.
being mighty uppish sort ola cove, he wouldn't
lean on my arm; the step was broken, and down
he fell fat under the porch. why, Admiral,
says l. YOU'VE struck your fag!'
- So you lost passenger BY your joker"
"Joke!-I can't see no joke in It,"
- Then, you don't know what joke is
:. Don't |? Only look at this lady with the
little boy in her arms what's a-coming-now this
is what calls joke. Beg your pardon.
Ma'am, there's the chid's shoe-0n its foot:
Did you twig how frustrated she looked abou!
her; and how, when said It was on its foot she
half laughed, half.frowned, and went of, blush
ing, gggIing, and biting her lipsa had joke
with Buckle what keeps the Goat and Boots,
this morning. made little hole in horringe.
sucked all the juice out, and then blowed 1t up
with my breath so as to make il look quite ma
trail. Along comes Buckle in gig with his
wife; and just as we was a.passing one anchor, l
losses him this here mske-beiieve horrinse.-
Thank.ye, Jem,' says he, while it was falling
but when he cotched it in his whip hand, and
found it crumple up TO nothing in his grasp-Oh,
erikey!-Here he comes-solus and sulkey-
left his wife at Walham Green. reckon won't
speak, I can see. Buckle, Buokie-(and Jem
pointed to the vacant seat in the gig as he spoke)
why Buckle you've dropped your tongue""
- Now that's very fair joke. Buckle him.
self turned round, and shook his fist, and grin.
ned al you for it,"
We'll, can't see nothing Of joke in il for
my part. wish knowed exactly what a juke
was; then shouldn't lose no passengers. nor
yet get laughed at SO often. Now. there was
l'other day. Mr.. Coggan says to Blauch-no.
Mr.. Blanch saws to Mr. CUggan. 'Cogsan.
says he, shat there breed Of bantams bought
Of yuu don't answer-they're all cocks well,
SIR says I. there's one comfort-if YOU don't
get no chickens you gets lots OF croVs.' With
that, both of 'em set to and laughed at me-