Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1833-08-22
THE MILITIA CAPTAIN AND THE Es.
SENCE PEDLAR.

! THE MILITIA CAPTAIN AND THE ES
SENCE PEDLAR.
Harry B, of one of the interio,
towns of this State, was, a few years
since, chosen captain Of company o
militia. At the next training day
with true military pride and spirit
he dressed him in a suit of regimen.
tails, buckled a sword to his side
and marched to the field. He did
wonders that day, in the way of com.
mand; he marched and counter-march-
ed his soldiers; he made them once and
again go through the manual exercise
but what most acquiredehim popula-
rity was, he gave them as much grog
as they could drink, and drank with
them into the bargain. In short, Cap.
tain B acquitted himself to the en-.
tire satisfaction of all concerned--and
of no one more than himself.
Just at the close Of day, he dismissed
his company. and, full of the happy and
valerous feelings which the "ruin" and
the occasion inspired, he marched a.
way to attend an evening party Of gen.
tlemen and ladies', some two miles off,
to which he had been previously invit-
ed. When he had got about half way,
coming into thicket of wood, he es-
pied something speckled with black and
white in the path just before him. Not
knowing exactly what it was, partly
on account of the dusk Of the evening,
and partly in consequence ofthe obfus-
cation of his brain, he resolved to at
tack it, sword in hand.
No sooner thought than done. He
vigorously drew his trusty steel, and
marching up, aimed blow at what he
supposed to be the head of his enemy,
but which unfortunately proved TO be
its tail, which the creature had just then
erected over its back. No sooner was
this attack made, than the creature,
wheeling round, with the weapons
which nature had given it for defence,
let drive at the notwithstanding, like
the Parthians, as it ran. 1t was then
that the captain first discovered that he
had engaged a skunk.
Heavens and earth, what an odour!
1t was strong enough to knock man
over. But it was not the captains
nostril's alone which were assailed-
the shot took him in the eyes, and for
a while SO effectually blinded him, that
he could no longer see--and although
he continued to lay about him valor.
ously with his sword, the enemy, TAX
ing advantage Of his blindness, made
good his retreat into the bushes, and
was seen no more.
1t was some time before the captain
could fairly recover his eye.sight--
which, when he had done, he proceed
ed to a neighboying rill, and washed
the smarting liquid from his eyes, and
endeavored to cleanse his person from
the intolerable odour with which it was
imbued. But he tried in vain. Never
thcless, he had too much regard for hi
honor to fail in an appointment, and he
proceeded, without further delay, to the
evening party.
AS soon as he entered the drawing
room, which he did in true military
style, the ladies began to pull out theil
smelling bottles, and to apply thei
| handkerchiefs to their noses, and the
gentlemen began to take snuff. 1t wa
some time before they recovered suffi
GENTLY to return the captains salute
when all in breath they asked hin
what hadhappened, that he had brough
such smell with him.
"Why," said the captain, coolly, "
met with an essence pedlar on the way
and bought out his whole stock"
This was so well said that the Who'll
company burst into a laugh-and, al
though they were obliged soon to dis
pcrse, on account of the villainous odou
he brought, they forgave Harry, in con
sequence of the wit wherewith he ha
so well seasoned it.
But it was not in bis face only tina
the valorous captain had received tn
shot. A partofthe inexpungable odou
had fastened upon his regimentals; an
after trying in vain to free them frol
, the horrid scent, he dug a hole, and bl
ried them six feet under ground. n
then broke his sword across a Stun
S and resigned his commission.
S "Well, Harry" said on acquaintanc
a of his, some time afterwards, "wh
e have you done with your regimentals'
n ave buried them, with the honou
d of war;" said the captain, gravely.
VI That's merely 10 'disinfogue' ther