Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-08-12
WYE LA BAGATELLE.
From The New York Daily .qdrertiser.J
N.JoR DowxING's OfFIcIAL REPORT ON THE
JJSrrEp STATES BANK.
I,
{ Post 0Nee.)

RIP RAPs, August 4th, 1855.
Dear Sir:-I have just got here alter eIam''
=, the Rank: and it was the toughest JOB ever
had in INV life. The Gineral was so bent on my
do;ng il. that had to "go ahead" or I'D sneak'a
ON, the first day. was nigh upon week a1ou'
- fioerin and siferin ali the while. MT. p'o"'e
Soc onck enuf il was no FOOLS journey e"ne
ON. and made some OF his folks scra'c" "en
I'D r tell YOU. I gin EN- no notice OF my
Emo and iump'd right in the thckest on EN-
,Ssrs one day when they were tumelIn IN and
shs,6n out the mummy like corn.-" Now, says
= s. INV boys. advise all on ye to brush up your
n,,,;ni;ca ion tables, for am down upon yos win
ai"s,ion. and the rule of three, and vulgar trac'
,;ons. and if | end penny out OF place, the I'LL
rsr,I sbalI know il. I'm no green NORM nor
member Of Congress. nor Judge Clayton, nor Mr.
Csmh,sleno. neither" says |. As soon as Mr..
R;ddIa read the letter the Ginerai sent by me-
saws he, ..Major, I'm glad the Glneral mas sent
so;os moe at last that knows something, and can
o;ss . strait accounts" and with thathe cal'd all
,hs RANK folks. and tell'd EN- to bring their books
tnrsther 6. Now" saws he, " Major, which eend
shsll we beuln al first" alt makes no ODDS
which - saws I; call care about is to see u
both eends meet; and if they don't, Mr. b,du,e'
saws /, ..lts all over with you anu tne nahS~
von,ll all co. hook and line, anu then we OH
coats, aud went at it. 'ound some " 'nch
fsII,ws there plagv sharp at syferin. lheyd
is sum nv a kinder short Diworth quick as
assh always use sla,e-t comes kinder ma
,ur,l IN me: and [ chak'd her OF there the hrst
,l,y and 6,ur'd out nigh upon 100 pretty consi'
Jer.bls tut sums. There was more than three
cart load, of books about US, aud every one on
em biooer. than the Deacon's family b'oie. Anu
sncb an etsrnal batch Of hger,n never see, anu
thsre wasn't blot or scratch in the whole on EN-
| nut good many questions TO Mr. h'uu'e;
for the Gineral gin me long string on EN-; anu
I thoupht some would stagger him; out ne answer
ed the IN all Just as glib "a our boys IN po"h,"s
Vile do the catakize, from the chief "send oil
man. clean through the petltlons-And ne u'u "
Al; in a mighty civil way too, Their was ony one,
he kinder tried to git round, and that was-ho"
he come 10 have so few of the Ginerals folks
,mony the Directors until very lately! why"
saws he, "Maior, and Major says he and then
he got I'D aud took pinch OF snuh anu ofnerea
me one) SAYS he Major, the Bank knows no par
ty: and in the first 20 oil, you know, the H'nesa's
friends were all above matters OF so iitie i'npor
,ance as Ranks and Banking. Ii we had put
branch in Downingville," says he, "the u'nerai
would not have had occasion to ask such queS'
ton., and with that he made bow; and went
home and took dinner With him. 1t is piagy Gu
rious 10 hear him talk about millions and thou.
sands; and got as glib too at 1t as he Is; ana
how on earth shall git back as'n to ninepences
aud four penee-happenles can't tell.
After | had been fserin away there nigh upon
q week. and used up or slate pencils, and spit
nv mnnth az tlry a. q cob, rubin out the sums
as:f,s, as | did them, writ to the Ginera, and
,el'd him it was no use; could find no mistake;
but SD long as the Bank was at work II was pref.
~ much like counting a flock Of sheep in Tall
,ay when they are Just let into new stuobie-
for i, was all the while crossing and mixing, and
the only way was to lock up all the Banks, anu
a, fas, a. YOU count EN-. black their noses.
..Now' says one day to Squire Blddle'
;us, take look at your money bags, tor they tell
The Gineral you han't got stuff enut IN the BANK
10 make him pair OF spectacles. "hohe VI to"I
rags" saws |, but the real grit;' aud WIN t"a'
he cali'd or chaps in Quaker coats anu 'hey
open'd a large place about as big as the "eas'
room:' and such sight never see-boxes, bags,
and kaos. all full, and should say nigh upon a
hundred cord. Saws |, Squire Biddle what on
earth is all this? for am stump'd'-"O says
he. "Msiu that's our Safety Fund,'-"ho"
YOU talks" says |.
:. Now" saws I. is that all genwines' CIV
erv dollar of it," says he; will YOU count 1t Ma
;oT,,. saws he. =. Not to day" says |; - but as
The Gineral wants me 10 be particular, I'll just
bussle snme em;" and at il went hammer and
file traly did did me good, Tor did not think
there was so much real chink in all creation. 80
when | 20, tired, | set down on pile, and took
out nv wallet. ADD began to count over some OF
the :. Safety Fund" notes got shaved WIN on
the grand tower. Here" says l, "Squ're
B,ddle. have small trihe | should like to par
ter with YOU. it's all "Safety Fund.-" saws l.;
I" and Nj. Van Bureaus head is on most all on
EN-" But az soon as he put his eye on EN-, ne
shook his head. see he had his eye teeth
cut ~ ELL" saysI Its no matter;"-out
il lifted nv dander considerable.
Now" saysI I, e" Mr.. Biddle, I've got one
more question TO put to you, and then I'm
through. You saw your bills are better than the
hard dollars; this puzzles me. and the Gineral
too. Now how il th,s?' Well" says he, "Ma-
;or. I'll tell you; suppose you have bushel Of
no,aroes in Dow n,ngvi'le. aud you wanted to
send them to Washington. how much would IT
co.t 70 Get them therei'' WE'LL" says !.
.. .hout two shillins lawful-for sent barrel
there to the Gineral las, tall: and that cost me
dollar freight" - Well saws he' suppose
vsshinutnn list rood