Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-08-07

acre; and you must, therefore, confess that, wheh
abuses arise to a certain pitch, they must be rem,
edied,' MIR. Bluff would nod his wise head, ana
saw Of YOU to his next neighbour. That's the
man for my money; you see what quanuty VI
facts he puts into his speech' Facts, like stones
are nothing in themselves, their value consists 10
the manner they are put together, and the por'
pose to which they are applied. Accordingly,
Mr.. Bluff is always taken in. Looking only al
fact. he does not see an inch beyond 1t, anu
you might draw him into any imPrudence' II you
were constantly telling him, two and two mace
FOUR Mr. Bluff is wonderfully English IL Is
by practical mem that we have ever been sedu-
ced into the widest speculations; anu the most
nrepos,erous Of living theorists always begins his
harangues wi,h-'Now, my friends, let Us look 10
the facts"
THE RESPECTABLE NAN.
But who is this elderly gentleman, with a
nortl, figure? Hush! it is Mr.. Warm, q most
respectabie man. His most intimate friend fail
ed 10 trade, and went to prison. MIR. Warm
foreswore his uantance IL ,ras not respectable
Mr.. Warm, in early life, seduced young lady;
she lived with him three years; he married, and
turned her of without shilling--the connection,
for married man, Was not respectable. Mr..
Warm is most respectable man; he pays his
bills regulary-he subscrlbes to six public char
ities-he goes to church with all his family on a
Sunday--he is in bed BY twelve o'clock. Wei,
well, all that'syery proper; but IS Mr. Warm-a
good friend, an active citizen? or is he not ava.
ricious does he not love scandal, is not his heart
cold, is he not yindCtive, is he not un INST,
is he not unleeling? Lord, sir, | believe
he nnay be all tina. but what then? every
body ailous Mr.. Farm is most respectable
man. Such character and such reputation
are proofs Of our regard for appearances. Aware
of that regard, behold areal initiating the meta
phorica swindler. See that gentleman, fash
ionably dressed with "a military air. and "a
progressing exterior;' he caleth himself Mr..
Cavendish Fitzroy'-he taketh lodgings in a
genteel situaton'-he ordereth jewels and silks
Of divers colours to be sent home to bim-he elo-
peth with them by the back way Mighty and
manifold are the cheats he hath thus committed,
and great the wailing and gnashing Of teeth in
Marylebone and St. James's. But, you say,
surely by this time. tradesmen with grain Of
sense would be put on their guard. No, my dear
sir, no; in England we are never on our guard
against such respectable appearances In vain
are there warnings in the papers and examples in
the police court.
Let man style himself Mr.. Cavendish Fitz
roy, and have prepossesSing exterior. and he
sets suspicion at once to sleep. why notF IS 1t
more foolish to be deceived by respectable ap.
pearances in Mr.. Fitzroy. than by the respecta.
BILE appearances of Mr.. Warm? But grandeur.
in roguery at least, has its drawbacks in happl.
ness; the fashionable swindler with US is not half
so merry dog as your regular thief There is
something melancholy and gentlenanlike about
the Fizroy SET in their fur coats and gold chains;
they live alone, and not gregariously. should not
be surprised-if they read Lord Byron. They are
haunted with the fear of the tread mill, and can
not bear low company; if they come to be hang
ed, they die modify and often attempt prusslc
acid: in short, there is nothing to envy about
them but their good looks; but your regular thief,
ali, he is indeed happy fellow! Take him all
in all, doubt if in the present state OF English
sociey he is not the lightesthearted parsonage in
it. Taxes afflict him not; he fears no scarcity
of work. Rents may 90 down; labor be dirt.
cheap: what cares he? A fall in the funds at
fects not his cay good humor; and as to the LIT.
tie notifications of lfe,-
sIf money grow scarce. and his Susan look cold,
An, the false hearts that find on the shore?
why, he changes his quarters, and Molly re-
places Susan! But, above all, he has this great
happuess-he can never fall in society; that ter
rsr of descending, which. in our complica.
ton Of grader, haunts all other men never
affects him; he is equally at home in the tread
mill, the bulks, Hobart's Town, as he is when
PLAYING at dominoes at the Cock and Hen, or
leading the dance in ST. Giles. You must know,
by the way, that the English thief has many
more amusements than any other class, save the
arlstocracy; he has balls, hot suppers, theatres.
and a6aires du caur, all Ct his command; and
he is eminently social jolly fellow to the core;
il he is hanged. he does not take it to heart like
the Fitzroys; he has lived merrily, and he dies
game. apprehend, therefore, that if your Elk
cellency would look for whatever gaiety may
exist among the English, you must drop the
Travellers for short time, and go among the
thieves. You might almost fancy yourself in
France, they are SO happy. This is perfectly
true, and no caricature, as any policeman will
bear witness. know not if the superior hia-
rity and cheerfulness of thieves be peculiar to
England; but possibly the overtaxation (from
which Our thieves are exempted) may produce
the effect OF lowering the animal spirits of the
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