Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-07-22
ALEXANDRIA GAZETTE.
MOSQUITO HUNT

The process Of getting into bed IN India IS
one requiring great dexterlty, and not lit.
tie scientific engineering. As the curtains are
carefully tucked in close under the mattress, all
round, you must decide at what part OF the bed
YOU choose to make your entry. Having survey.
ed the ground, and clearly made up your mind
on this point, you take in your right hand kind
of brush, OF switch, generally made OF horses
tail; or If you be toerably expert. a towel may
answer the purpose. With your left hand you
then seize that part Of the curtain which is thus
under the bedding at the place you intended to
enter, aud by the light OF the cocoa-nut.oil lamp
(which burns on every hoor in Hlndostan) you
first drive away the mosquitoes from your imme.
date neighborbood by whisking round your horse
tail and, before proceeding further, you must be
sure you have effectualiy driven the enemy back.
II YOU fail in this matter. your repose is effect.
ualy dashed for that night; for these contOunded
animals-it,s really difficult to keep from swear
ing even at the recollection of the Williams though
at The distance Of ten thousand miles from them
these we'll cursed animals, then, appear to
know perfectly well what is going to happen, and
assemble with the vigor and bravery OF the Hank
companies appointed to head storm'ng party,
ready in one instant to rush into the breach, care
less alike of horse tails and towels. Let 1t be
supposed, however, that you have successfully
beaten back the enemy. You next promptly form
an opening, not hairs breadth larger than your
o~ person, into which you leap, like harlequin
through a hoop, or, to borrow Jacks phrase as
if the de,i! had kicked sou on end Of course,
with all the speed Of intense fear you close up
the gap through which you have shot yourself In
to your sleeping quarters
If all these arrangements have beerlwell ma
elf Fnr ooh
scofEny at, and trumphins over clouds OF baffied
mosquitoes outside, who dash themselves against
the meshes of the net, iu vain attempts to enter
YOUR sanctum. If, however, for your sins, any
one Of their number has succeeded in entering
the place along with yourself, he is not such an
ass as to betray his pesence while you are flush
ed with victory, wide awake, and armed with
the means of his destruction Far, from this,
the scoundrcl allows you to chuchie over your
fancied great duings and to lie down with all the
complacency and fal!acious security OF your con-
quest, and under the entire assurance OF enjoy
ing tranquil nights rest. Alas, for such pre-
sumptuous hopes! Scarcely have you dropped
gradually from these visions Of the day to the
vet more blessed visions of the night, and the
last faint effort OF your eyclids have been quite
overcome by the gentle pressure OF sleep, when,
in deceitful slumber, you hear something like the
sound of trumpets. ghtway your ilnasina-
ton is kindlsd, and YOU fancy yourself in the
midst of fierce fight, and struggling, not
against petty insects, but against armed men,
and laundering cannon! In the excitement oil
the mortal conflict Of your dream, you awake,
not dis2eased, mayhap to 6nd that you are safe
and snug in bed.
But in the next instant, what is your disNay,
when you are again sauted by the odious notes
of musquitO close at your ear! The perlious
fsht of the previous dream, in which your honor
had become pledged, and your life at hazard. Is
all forgotten in the pressing reality oil this wax
ing calamity. You resolve TO do, or die, aud not
to sleep, or even attempt to sleep, till you have
finally overcome the enemy. Just as you have
made this manly resolve, and, i'll order TO deceive
the foe. have pretended to be fast asleep, the wa
~ mosquito is again heard, circing over you at a
distance, but gradually coming nearer and near
er, in a spiral descent. aud at each turn gaining
upon you one inch, till, at length, he almost
touches vour ear, and, as you suppose, IS JUS,
about to settle upon It. With asudden jerk,
aud full of wrath, you bring up your hand, and
Give Yourself such box on the ear as would have
staggered the best friend you have in the world,
and might have crushed twenty thousand mus.
qaitoes, had they been there consregated.
Being convinced tfal yOu hase Hu" uoue 'o'
him. you mutter between your teeth one OF those
satisfactory little apologies for an oath which IN
dictate gratifed revenge, and down you lie again.
In less than ten seconds, however, the very same
felon who you fondy hoped you had executed. Is
again within hail of you. and you can almost tau
CIV there is scorn in the tone of his abominable
hum You, Of course, watch his motions still
more ntentlv than before, but only by the ear,
r.. go, ,an naver him
we shall suppose that you fancy he is aiming
at your left hand; as you are almost sure OF II,
you wait till he has ceased his song, and then you
give yourself another smack, which. need not
say, proves quite asfruitless as the first. About
this stage Of the action you discover. to your hor.
ror. that you have been soundly bit in one ear
aud in both heels, but where and how you can
not tell.
These wounds Of course put you in fine rage,
partly from the pain, and partly from the ins'di'
Gus manner in which they have been inflicted
Up you spring on your heels-not to pray Hea'
ven knows! but to 6ght You seize your horses
AL Nth spsfeful ravp and alter Whlsking II