Vandalia Whig and Illinois intelligencer. [volume] (Vandalia, Ill.) 1832-183?, 1833-10-02


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LORD MAYORS FooL.-A poor fellow,
apparently an idiot, applied at the Man
sion House to be appointed to the situa.
ton of Lord Mayors fool. On being in.
formed that the office was not at present
vacant, he replied that he feared as much,
as he supposed it was his lordship's in
tention to fill that office himself This
proved him no fool, and not entitled to
the birth.
The BRIDLE.-sMy dear BRETHREN"
said "A pastor lately from his pulpit, "never
put yourselves into the liability of loosing
your reason. Reason is bride which
has been given US 10 direct our passions"
On the same day, the pastor got drunk
One Of his Pensioners asked what he had
done with his bride. "Good faith" says
he, 81 have taken it off to drink"
GusPAvus III.-When Gustavus the
Third, King of Sweden, was in France
he was frequently solicited to visit DR..
Franklin, which he always declined
One of the French Guards, who could
use little freedom with his majesty, beg
ged to know why he denied himself the
honor which every crowned head in En
rope would be glad to embrace. ''No
man." said the monarch, "regards the
doctors scientific accomplishments more
than | do; but the king who affects to like
an enthusiast for lberty,is a hypocrite.
As philosopher, love and admire the
doctor, but as a politician, hate him
and nothing shall ever induce me 10 APP
pear on terms of friendship and personal
esteem with a man whom my habits and
situation oblge me TO detest."
A FALSE LABEL.--A boy called several
times in the course of day at public
office, on business, but found the officer
always absent, although he saw label
on the door, SIN from ten to one" The
lad, after repeated disappointment, took
out his pencil, and altered the label, so
that it read as follows, and more agreea.
bly, with truth: SIN from ten to onc-and
then ten 10 one if you find him inn
DUKE OF ARGYLE. when the great
duke of Argyle was one night at the
theatre, in side box,.a person entered
the same box in boots and spurs. The
duke arose from his seat, and, with
great ceremony expressed his thanks to
the stranger, who, somewhat confused.
desired to know for what reason thew
we're bestowed. The duke gravely re-,
piled, "For not bringing your horse into
the box"
ADMIRAL CoLPoYs, who rose to the
highest rank and honors in his profession
from bis own merit and exertions alone,
used to be fond of stating, that, on his
first leaving humble lodging to join his
ship as midshipman, his landlady pre-
sented him with bible and guinea,
saying, sGod bless and prosper you, my
lad; and as long as you live, never suf.
fer yourself to be laughed out of your
money or your prayers" advice which
he seduously followed through life.
A NEAT, BUT SEVERE REPARTEE.-In
reply to some observations of Mr.. Dun.
das, in the house of commons, Sheridan
observed--"Ther right honorable gentle
man is indebted to his memory for his
tests, and to his imagination for his facts"
Tribute to Washington at the Dublin
Theatre. Hacket the actor gives the
following account of an occurrence at the
Dublin Theatre. HThe first night OF
Rip Van Wrinkle, when in the midst
of the scene where he finds himself LOST
in amazement at the change in his native
village, as well as in himself and every
body he meets, person Of whom he is
making inquiry mentions the name of
Washington. Rip asks "who is hep
The other replies-'What! did you never
bear ftbe immortal George Washington,
the Father Of his Country?" The whole
audience from pit TO gallery seemed to
rise, and with shouting, huzzas, clappng
of hands, and stamping Of feet made the
very building shake. These deafening
.plaudits continued sometime, and wound
up with tree distinct rounds. To de-
scribe to you my feelings during such an