Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-08-07
"ENGLAND AND THE ENGLISH"
TErtracts from Bul,c.r's nsU cork. ]
THE MODERN RADICAL.

but he philosophises eternaliy. he llVetn upon
First principles He cannot move step De-
yond them. He hath put the feet OF his mind IN
TO boxes, in order that they may not grow larger
and thinks it beauty that they are unfit Tor eve
nv day walking. Whatever may be SAID by any
man against his logic, he has but one answer
first principle. He hath no suPpleness IN MN.
He cannot refute an error. lie statetn a UaiSu
in reply. that hath no evident connexlon WIN 'ne
matter in dispute. lie thinketh men nave no
nass;ons. he coDsiderelh them mere clock.work,
and he taketh out his eternal first principle as the
univ instrument to wind them up by. lie IS as
sured that all men Of all classes, trades, and IN
telIects, act BY self interest, and II he teileth
them that their interest is so and-so, so'ano.so
will thew necessarily act. In vain you shew him
that he never yet hath convinced any mamie
replieth BY first principle, to prove, IN spite OF
your senses, that he hath. He has satisfied HIM
self. and demands no further proof. lie IS OF no
earthly utility, though he has walled himself with
a sunnosed utilitarianism. He cannot write so
as n he read, because he conceives that all agree
able writing is full of danger. He cannot speak
so as to be understood, precisely because he ne
yer speaks bot in syllosisms He hath no pIth
and succulence in him-he Is as dry as BONE
lie liveth by system-he never was In love IN his
life. lie refuseth cheerful glass; nay, perhaps
he dieteth only upon vegetable food. lie hath
no human sympathies with you, but isa great phi.
lantbropst for the people to be born thousand
wears hence. lie never reieveth any one; ne
never feeleth for any one-he only reasoneth
with every one-and that on the very smallest
inch he can find Of mutual agreement. Ii he was
ever married, l should suspect him to be the Ia
Their who, advertising the other day tor runaway
daughter, begged her, Ii she would not return
TO her disconsoate parents, to send them back the
kew of the tea.chest.' What is most strange
about him is, that while he thinks all the rest OF
the world exceedingly foolish, he yet believes
that they are only to be governed by reason
You will find him visiting lunatic asylum, and
assuring the madmen that it is not rational to be
insane. He knoweth not one man from another;
they seem to him as sheep or babies seem to US
exactly alike. He thinkelh that he ought to have
hand in public affairs-the Almighty Forbid
THIS ia a scion from the tree of the new Radicals.
He hath few brethren; he callelh himself phi
lo,opher, or sometimes Benthamite. lie re.
senbeth the one or the other as the BARRIERS
block resembeth man. Heis block
THE EXQUISITE.
"Lord Mute is an English eiegnat-a dandy.
You know not what he has BEEN lie seems as
if he could never have been boy; all appear
ance Of nature has departed from him. He IS
six feet of inanity enveloped in cloth! You can
not believe God made him-StulZ must have
been his Frankenstein. He dresses beautifully
let us allow it-there is nothing oufre about
him; you see not in him the s'ovenly magnlh-
ceoce Of other nations. His lInen-how white!
His shirt buttons-how regularly set IN! His CO.
lors-how we'll chosen! His boots are the only
things splendid in his whole costume. Lord
IL, fasf m
his horses, his livery, his cabriolet. tie is great
in school of faultess simplicity. There can be
no doubt that in equipase and dress Engllshmen
excel all other Europeans. But Lord Mute ne
YER conyerses. When he is dressed, there Is an
end of him. The clock don't.tlck as 1t goes
He and his brethren are as quiet as the stars
In solemn silence all
Move round this dark terrestrial BALL
Lord Mute speaks, indeed, but not converses.-
He has a set Of phrases, which he repeats every
day:-she can hum thrice, aud buz as often. =
He knows nothing Of politics, literature, science.
lie reads the paper-but mechanically; the let
tiers present to him nothing to be remembered
He is true philosopher: the world is agitated-
he knows il not: the roar Of fierce democracy,
the changes of states the crash OF thrones, never
affect him. He does not even condescend to
sneak of such tribes. He riseth to his labor,
dresseth, soeth out, clubbeth. dineth, speaketh
his verbal round. aud is at the opera brilliant and
composed as ever
THE calm Of heaven reflected on his face
He never putteth himself into passions. He
laughs not loudly. His brow wrinkles not till
extreme old age. He is spectatorof life from
one of the dress boxes. Were coup desoleh to
consume his whole family, he would say with
Major Lonsbow, Bring clean glasses, aud
sweep away your mistress That wsud be along
speech for him. Lord Mute is not an unpopular
man: he is one Of the inoffensve handles. Lord
Mute, indeed, Is MOTT is bis cabriolet and
his coat that are How can the NEST implacable
= person hate coat and a cabrlolets"
THE PRACTICAL MAN.
"Mr. Bluff is the last character shall de.
scribe in this chapter. He is the sensible, prac.
fical man. He despises all speculations, but
those m which he has a share. He is very intol-
Grant to other peoples hobby-hOrses; he hates
both poets and philosophers. He has great love