Martinsburg gazette. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1833-1855, 1833-11-28
MONDAY, NOVEMBER IS, 1888.
MAJOR JACK DowNING's LETTER.

" ASHiNVTON, Izln NOV 1919.
To my old friend Mr.. Dwight, of
The New York Daily Advertiser.
have always been tellin the Cine.
raj, as you know, that of all troubles
doubles there was none so tuff to get
round as money troubles; and when
such matters get in snarl it was worse
than irwin to straiten a MALTA line
after dinner. | was always afraid that
we was gettin too many folks to handle
the money, and to be fngerin at the
accounts. Ever sinced was a boy
always had notion that the fewer
hands in countin the better, and the
less you handle money the better, for
the more you handle it, some how, the
less it grows. And then again | told
the Gineral over again, don't NEEDLE
with the Bank, says /, the money is
safe enuf there, and one pocket, says
|, Gineral, is better than twenty. But
YOU know when | was in New York
with Zekel Bigelow tryin to find out
the cause of money bein scarce, and
when Zekel broke his watch showing
me how the U. S. Bank worked among
other banks, the folks some how got
round the Gineral, and the deposites
was removed.
have been looking out for trouble
ever since, though | was bound to
stick to the Gineral, right or wrong, as
telled him | would.
Tother day when we came to that
part of the message where we have to
speak of money matters, we sent for
Mr.. fancy, our new Secretary Of the
Treasury, to bring in his accounts; he
warnt quit ready, for he amt as quick
at siferin yet, as he will be to rights,
so we waited for him spell, and
left place here and there in the mes
sage, Just big enufto put in flyers; and
so last night the Gineral sent again,
and said he must have the counts
"ready or not ready" and up they
came sure enuf, and not more than
half cooked, but the Gineral wont wait
for nothin when he's in hurry. Now,
says he, Major, turn to and see how
they stand with last year. And at it +
went comparin all the amounts of out
lays, the Gineral all the while smokin
and thinkin pretty hard, with his feet
on the mantle. fgered up the sums
pretty quick, considering there was a
good many on EN- called estimates, and
when | got to the end ont now, says
l, Gineral, you know | telled you that
We could get up and put down nullifi-
cation in no time-we could turn out
cabinet and appoint other folks-we
could send ministers abroad and let
EN- come home as soon as they pleased,
and send other folks in their places,
and give all full pay too-we could
mock the U. States Bank and Squire
Biddle all into splinters--we could let
our folks go on the Ingin lands in one
place and drive EN- off in other places,
and git up an Ingin War-and appoint
new officers here and there-and have
new auditors to settle accounts-and
let things go on in the Post Office and
Land office pretty much to suit the
folks there-and instead of having one
Il Bank for our money, scatter it about
among the banks of our friends.
All this we could do, and have done,
! and have taken the responsibility too,
and the folks like us the better for it;
but, says |, when they come to see
what it costs there'll be trouble, now |
tell you, says |. Why Major, say S the
4 Gineral, what's the matter; amt the
Government economical, says he; DO
Il you expect to make reforms without
costing somethingl Can you clear up
swamps and cut bitches and remove old
stumps, without expense2 Yes, says
|, Gineral, that's all true. But plague
ont, says |, its ben goin on so now,
nigh upon years; and, says |, II
keeps costn more and more, and we
are nearer bein swamp'd and stump'c
than ever-here, says |, now jist look
and see what "the Government" cost:
now, and what it cost when Mr.. Adams
was President; and that amt the wors
II ont, says /; our money is here, there
and every where; and | don't see hoy
we shall find it when we want it," A
soon as | mentioned the amount of tn
sums | had fgered up, the Ginera
jumps up, and he did stomp about
spell, tell you--he smash'd down hi
pipe, and it flew into more than fort
pieces-says he, Major, amt you mis-
taken; no, says |, there is no mistak
about me, Gineral: let me see ther
accounts, says he; and he begun I
feel for his spectacles, first in one pocl
ut and then in another, for he had n
less than 7 pockets besides his waite