Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1833-09-19

and makes the hair fly; and if it don't
bring the money Pm mistaken.
If Mr.. Livingston had stay'd one
week longer in York, the Gineral was
for sending me right out, and Captain
Jumper was just gettin the ''Two Pol
lies" ready to take me.
The most curious part of "the Co
vernment" here, is to manage the Of
fee seekers. You see, things amt now
as they was afore Mr.. Van Buren's
time; then it was kinder divided round
among the Departments.
The Post Master Gineral appointed
all the Pest Masters, and their folks.
The Secretary of the Treasury, APP
pointed all the folks in the Custom
Houses, and all the officers who COL
lected money. These two had an ever
lasting batch of fellers to appoint, and
made them feel pretty considerable big,
and then the War Secretary had good
slice in appointing the cadets, and In
gen Agents, and all the contracts were
kinder sifted round among the Depart
ments; and so by the time new Pre-
sident was to be made, some of these
Secretaries was a leetle bigger than
the President himself. Now this is the
way they kinder jockied Mr.. Adams,
who got to be the smallest man at
Washington, by letting other folks
plant his corn and do his huskin; and
afore he knowed it, his own field was
all in weeds-and theirs, well bowed,
rich and clean as whistle.
But things amt 50 now, we've got
ony one crib, and that's a whappin one
too, and ony one door to it; and when
we shell out our corn, we take good
care and know we'll who gets it, and
where he is going to plant it; and that
amt ALIVE make EN- agree about the
Huskin FrOAc, for that's the best ont
arter all.
The longer | am in "the Govern
ment," the more larn. But must
allow, that of all the inventions I've
hearn ON of Mr.. Van Buren's this is a.
bout the slickest.
There is ony one thing wantin, and
that he is trying for pretty hard-and
this is the bank. If he can ony git
that in the crib too, Virginny fences
wouldn't stop our cattle.
Ony think what an everlastin raft
fellows we should have-all the Pre-
sidents and Cashiers, and Clerks and
Money Counters, about the crib, from
Downingville to New Queensland
that amt the best ont: we would have
branch along-sid every post office,
to keep our hostages safe.
| should like this well enuf if was
sartin ! and the Gineral and Mr.. Van
Buren, was to be here all the while, to
keep a good look out on the crib door,
But the Gineral talks of goin hum I'd
put the Hermitage to rights; and am
in the notion that Congress is leetle
too strong for "the government, when
the Gineral amt in it; and | shall 90
with him. | am ony most fag'd out
myself; and | begin to think with the
Gineral have done enuf for the coun-
try.
We are lookin for Amos Kindle now
every hour. He writ the Gineral
t'other day, and tell'd him my "Bank
Report" warn't true, and that | must
have got loan of Squire Biddle.-
Now that is just the way with some
folks. What they don't know they
guess at; and its jist so with old Miss
Crane, who keeps the tavern this side
Downingyille-jist as sure as any one
goes by without stoppin, the old critur
says, "there goes so and so, and has
got no money too; and he knows |
wouldn't trust him."
Howsumever, no one can make the
Glneral wrathy with me. He knows
| am the best friend about him; when
ever they get things in any kind of
twist, or snarl, says he, 'Major, do
you unravel that. Pm the big wheel,
and you are the smasher," says he;
and then we just give Peleg Bissel's
churn a turn or two, and all is right.
You don't print my letters right
you git some words wrong, and spell
EN- most infarnally. Jist so the prin.
tiers sarved the Gineral's letters too;
and folks thought he didn't know moth
ing, till we got to Cambridge, where
they made doctor on him.
Your friend,
J. DOWNING, Major,
Downingville Militia, I'd Brigade.