Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-01-22
ALEXANDRIA GAZETTE.
From the London Court Journal.
SYMPTOMS.
LOVE, DEBT, osrksTArIoN, MARRIAGE.

LOVE, DEBT, osTENTATIoN, MARRIAGE.
When young man Of fashion is rarely seen
at Crookford's Of night, at TattersaIl's Of
Monday, and only for lew minutes at Whites,
it is symptom 0t a disease Of the heart or the
purse, and requires peculiar treatment Dseas.
es of the heart, though vioent for the time, are
of much shorter duration, and are much more ca
silly cured than thnse Of the purse. as many pa.
tents have lived to certify. Though the first
symptoms Of both maisdles resemble each other.
all that follow are different. The man far goae
in love or in debt, leaves his accustomed haunts,
the Beau ,Cindou in st. James's street, that cy.
nosure Of lustrous eyes; no longer exhibits HIN.
self in nOchalant posture, with looks that mock
the passers.by 40 newspapers in one hand, while
the other plays with the hair that has escaped
from his hat, or caresses the whskers; the feet
Iep0sing on the next chair. No longer does he
echo the laugh caused BY the good natured effu.
sions of Copley, The erudi,eruns of Tom Raikes,
or the thrice told bon n,ofs of Chin Grant; his
place is vacant. and oh no. they never mention
him, except to bet OIL the probable results Of his
disease.
When the patient is seen, day after day, riding
BY the side Of particular carriage in the Park,
and on Sundays escorting a particular lady at
the Zoological Gardens, or riding in the retired
parts of fashionable resorts, and always with
the same fair uneI}messirs she;' when he never
leaves her at balls and rOuts, and looks sulky
when other men approach her, the symptoms are
decided, and nothing short Of visit 10 St.
Georges, Hanover Square. that hospital for des
pera,e love cases. can offer relief. except it come
in the shape Of a special license, administered
by some fashionable practitioner, in a private
asylum. where splendid deieune, white favors,
orange flowers, with siel which, like that torn
aside bv Psyche, is soon to destroy the last ILL
ness of love, supri2 the place land an! hpw
well) Of cooling regime and strait wa,stcoat,
and soon bring the patient to his senses
The symptoms Of a man in debt, though they
some times vary. are IN general as foilows:-A
distaste to public streets; shyness Of being
touched on the shoulder by friends; habit of
looking in at monay-lenders: a r.ck!essness of
expense were ready money is not expected, aud
strict economy were il is; a forced gaiety, with
reap,es into goom that presage, it they do not
betray, the secrets Of prision house: for these
SYMPTOMS, q trip to Boulogne-snr-Mu is adyisa-
Bile, or a retirement to the pure air Of the Surry
side of rhames;--from which last the patient
comes forth not only freed from debt. but from
credit also
When Ostentaton attacks a man, the disease
NAV be known by these symptoms: love of
show. fondness for great people. aud styness to-
wards untitled and common place acquaintances.
A frequent reference to self, and more then
ordinary competency. when dwelling on his
own possessions. A philanthropc hospitality
and generosity, to those who require neither,
and a philosophic abstinence from bnth, to
those who stand in need Of them. For these
symptoms there is but one cure, and tina, is diff.
cult to obtain: let the patient be placed in
convenient. but unsupported hiding place, at
Whites, Bodies. Brooks's, or Crockford's,
where he may overhear the real opinions Of his
supposed friends and acquaintance. their com.
ments on his house, dinners, and. above all, on
him; and if. after this, his distemper continues,
he must be pronounced incurable.
When men, who nave been year married, are
seen at Melon en- garcon, al Whites halt the
morning on the pave, the other half in cabriolets
or on horseback. and are 10 be found winding up
their evenings at Croc kford's, such symptoms Of
coniusal indifference leave TO longer any doubt
as to the extent Of the disease. For this malady,
which leads to So many others. there is bnt one
remedy, speedy retirement to Italy, where the
attack subsidies intp calm torpor, from the want
of the excitement that England more than any
other country affords. to relieve the fediam uit9
which the reaction of love produces. Aud
from this torpor the patient gradually RECEIVERS,
aud without anJ Of the dangerous effects that so
often follow the same cause at home. We re-
commend 10 our fair county women, in partic-
ular, strict attention to the above Symptoms.
has often been remarked OF Lord Brougham,
that when in perfect health few possess such pow