Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-09-02
GAZETTE.
LONDON POLICE.

RefusM ola Large Fare--Mr. Cole, medi.
cal gentleman, sppeared 10 ask the assistance Of
| the Lord Mayor under the following circumstan.
ees Of hardship:
The learned gentleman caused a great deal Of
merriment, which sprung 10 great measure from
the excellent temper with which he gave the his
tory Of his calamity To appearance the doc.
tor was about thirty stone weight.
II am come, NV Lord, to complain to you Of
the very unreasonable conduct Of the omnibus
conductor and driver" said the doctor. live
10 the Edgeware. road, and find it necessary to
get into an omnibus to come to and return from
town. Of late, however, the coachmen, and con-
ductors, the moment hail them, shake their
heads and drive on, saying No, no, you wont
do Cor me."-C Great laughter. They object to
my SIZE, suppose, but am not in condition
to remedy that, and tbereiure it they have me at
all they must have me as am.' (Laoghter.)
The Lord Mayor: am afraid, Doctor, that
can't compel them to have you; aud, to say the
truth, think their objection is a very reasonable
one. Put the matter in this way:-An omnibus
is licensed to carry IA persons inside. Now sup.
pose ii men Of your size were to demand adms.
sion, would you like to be passenger
Doctor Cole.-Not axany means, assure you,
for am convinced we should not be at all
posed to me to pay d. L price, but am only
one person, and | thought that the act Of Paria'
ment protected me.
The Lord Mayor4-The drivers need not take
any one they do not fancy. 1t was but the other
day drunken fellow wanted to force his way in.
to an omnibus, and fined him. Now should
think the passengers would have as great an Oh
lection 10 you as the drivers, and therefore. un-
ill you reduce your weight, you cau't expect &C.
commodation from Paddlnston to the Bank for
sixpenoe. Laughter.l
Doctor Cole casting bis eyes round himself.
To reduce this bulk woald be difficult thing
1t is impossible.
! The Lord Mayof.-I'll tell you how--wa!k.
Doctor Cole.-Walk! walk from Psddington
to the Bank LIQUID I.aushter.I
| The Lord Mayor-That's certain remedy
for obesity. II Daniel Lambert had carried the
box in which he travelled, he would not have
been such spectacle.
Doctor Cole.-It is not an easy matter for
man upwards Of so years Of age to walk any
considerable distance. | am medical man, and
should not in such a case recommended VIC.
lent walking
The Lord MAYOR. mean you wouldu'!
practice 1t. Doctor. "a laugh
Doctor Cole.-I atm also aware OF the usual
method Of reducing jockeys and fighting men, but
| shouldn't fancy that system knnw the re-
duction Of weight by such means Is ruinous to
the constitution, not to say word Of the inc0n'
venient nature Of the process to man like me.
The Lord Mayor wish could render you
a service, Doctor. You bear all these things, it
appears to me, with an excellent temper
Doctor Cole.-Certainly do; enjoy the re-
fusal of the conductor as much as the passengers
do. The moment the door is open the passen.
gers cry out, "Oh, we've no room here; you
must get an omnibus for yourself" Laughter,
The coachman cries, II told you before, Jack,
that we couldn't take in that load under double
price," and the conductor slams the door and
says ALI right" leaving me in-the middle OF the
road in a roar Of laughter.
The Lord Mayor declared that he never saw
so faithful an illustration Of the old saying "laugt
and grow fat," and repeated bis prescription o
walking. but withou, the slightest effect upon thu
Doctor, who disturbed the whole room by walk
; ing out Of it.