Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-07-23
GAZETTE.
OATH AGAINST LIQUOR.

Odfh against Liquor. W MI SO'ueh
US O'Flaherty, PhiIomath, on behalf Of Misther
Peter O'Connell, of the Crossroads. merchant on
one part, and of the soul Of Mrs. Elisha OCon.
nell, now in purgatory, merchantress on the
other
I solemnly, and mertoriously, and soberly
swear, that single tumbIer of whiskeypunch shall
not cross my lips, during the twenty four hours
of the day, barring t,Ueiue, the locality OF which
is as followeth:
Imprimis- Two tumblers at home 2
secundo-Two more ditto. at my son Dams, 9
Tertio Two more ditto, behind my own gar
den, - 2
Ouarto.-One ditto, at the Rev. Fahes Muca.
Oainto.Two more ditto, at Frank Carols, of
Sexto-One ditto, wild ould Partle GOram. of
Nurchasy,
Sepilmo-Two more ditto, wild Michael Nor
ris, Of Cargah, 9
12
N. B. 4 except in case any Doctor of Ply
sic might think it right and medical to order more
Tor my health; or in case might get Father Null
cahv to make the oath off for start, at a wed.
ding or a christening, or at any other meeting OF
friends, where there's drink.
his
PETER x CoNNELL.
mark.
Witness present,
Cornelius O'Flaherty, Philomath
June the 4th, 1S-.
H. certify that have made and calculated
his oath for Misher O'Connell, merchant and
that it is strictly and automatically proper and
correct
CoRxELIus O'FLAHERTY, Philomath.
Dated this fourth of June, 49,.
In spite of this oath to which Peter swcars ODE
dience, after adding Octavo-one more tumbler
out of respect for decent Andy Cavanash-l.
he is still constantly drunk, and after some time
obliged again to have recourse to Mr. OFlaher.
~.
Masther," said he, ''we mus. thry and make
the oath somethin' palmer. You see, when | get
confused, I'm not able to rimimber things as i
ought. Sometimes insUid of one tumhler take
two at the wrong place; an ARA bit ONE but
call'd in and bad three wild one Jack Rogers, that
isn't in it at all; so I'D thank you to dhraw it
clearer, If YOU can, nor it was"
81 see, Mr.. Cornell, | comprehend, wild the
greatest ase in life, the very plan Tor 1t. we
must reduce the oath TO Geography, for I'm at
home there, being a surveyor myself. III! lay
down map Of the parish, an draw the houses
Of your friends at their places, so that you'll ne
yer be out of your latitude at ALL"
"Fax I doubt that, Masther-ha, ha, ha,"
replied Peter, 'm afeard | will OF an odd
time, Pm not able to carry what used to do:
but no mstther; thry what you can do for me this
time, any how. think could bear long do
zen still, if don't make mistakes"
O'Flaherty accordingly set himself to work;
and as his knowledge, not only OF the parish, but
of every person and house in it. was accurate, he
soon had tolerably correct skeleton map OF 1t
drawn for Peters use
- Now, see this dot-that's your house"
"Pu, cross there, said Peter, "and thin
I'll know its the crossroads.
Upon my reputation, you're right, an that's
what call good specimen OF ingenuity Pli
take the hint from that, and we'll make 1t HI
eroslyphical as we'll as a Geographical OATH
Well, there's cross, wild two tumblers-is that
clear?"
.'It is. II is! go on"
"Now. here We dhraw ine to your sou Dams.
Let me see: he keeps a mill an SELLS CLOTH
Very good. III dhraw mill.wheel and yard
wand There's two thumblers. Will you know
thatf"
81 see it-go on, nothin' can be clearer. So
far can't 60 asthray."
swell, what next? two behind your own gar.
den. What metaphor for a garden? Let the
see!-let me cogitate! A dragon-the Hesper.
ides! That's beyant you. A bit Of hedge will
do an gate"
"Don't put a gate in; its not lucky. You
know when man takes to drink they say he's
goin' gray gate, or black gate. or bad gate
Pat that out, an' make the hedge longer, an it'll
do wild the two thumblers, though"
"They're down; one at the Reverend Father
Mulcahy's How will we translate priests"
"Faix doubt it will be difficult business I"
"Upon my reputation agree wild you in that,
especially when he repates Latin. However,
we'i see. He writes P. P. afther his name; pee
pee is what we call the turkeys wild. What'ud
you think Of two turkeysF
"The priest wud like them roasted. but
couldn't understand that. No; put down the
sign of the horsewhipt, or the cudgel, Tor he's
handy and argues well wild BOTH"
"Good! III put down the horsewhip first, an
the cudgel alongside Of it; thin the tumbler, and