Litchfield enquirer., 1833-09-12
EOm e London pnprr.
THE MAN wITM AN, Apprrvr,

never for the life of me could under
 stand why man of ten stone should pay
 as much for coach hire as one of twentv.-
 There's neither reason nor virtue tn it
 and the stage coach proprie,ors must be a set of unjust jolterheads to alter it. The rogncs weigh your dead stock, your luggage, and tt il be what they call "over weight" they mako no scruple of charging you so
 much a pound above certain number of pounds, but they take no account of over. weight in living luggage, and will charge just as much for carrying little whipper- snapper of passenger, whose entire cor pus, in full dress, might be tucked into a coach pocket. as they will for n great over led fellow, whose empty waistcoat would button round hay-stack If man will stutt himself till he's as. big as u roasted
 Mahning-tfec OK with pudding in his bel- ", iet him do so-there is no statute to the contrary thereof, that know of; but I see no reason why he should ob.rude his fat up- on fOiks of reasonable compass, or expect to have his overweight of blubber carried about the country fur nothing. Twelve stone is about tho weight of man; and if the coach owners were not blockheads aud boobies, blind to their own interests and to common equity, they would establish a scale of fares, hang weighing chairs in their coach offices, and demand SD much addi- tional fare upon every stone weight above twelve; reducing the fares to those of less weight in proportion. If they could do that. a man wedged into six inside coach between two of those enormous bowel.ca- ses, might take some little comfort to him- self in knowing that what he suffers by suC- location he saves in pocket. And, truly, your political economists. your Malthuses and M'Cullochs, are little better than stralners at gnats and swallowars of camels, or they would have proposed some such regulation as check upon over- consump- lidn; 1t would do more toward saving the nationalvictual than any of f,heir Rne-drawn schemes for stinting day laborers in hrats and potatoes.
 1t was our fate to have ono of these two. | legged prize cattle, " a certain Franklin in the wilds of Kent," us a travelling sixth in the Dover coach. Wo took him up, or rather he was heaved up by the coachman and half dozen helpers, ut the road side public house, somewhere between SaMlv wich and Deal and when he was up and had pokcd forward, half way across the in- side of the coach, his hips stuck in the dHnEsiXaKt dkpn S S ila ,ha.sHas sAlJineA An tnri. went squash into tho only vacant seat, between two venerable spiLster-like ladies; his elbows spreading over them in front like a couple of Brobdinagian sausagess. md his st,,pendous catastrophe tearing all before it as it subsided. Mercy on us y" cried ono of the spinster-like venerables, II declare you have torn my garments completely out of the gathers v And mle too 2" said the other. Really, SIT. we must get you to sit up little," sa'd both. " Aye, I thought felt something give way" grunted the mountain of mun- my; and then, instead of sitting up as re- quested, he leaned slowly from side 10 side, so as to almost smother each lady 'n
 her turn, whilst the other was dragging nef
 torn gown from beneath his abominiible
 brawn.. However, all that being arranged
 and room having been madc for his legs
 as he called them, on he went, but we nae
 not gone more than a mile. when he grun'
 ted. :" Can't stand this !'' !" Stand what sir you seem to me to be sitting !' sait somebody. "Cant ride backward--Dev ,, CT could," gruntcd talIow.keech in reply. Now it so happened that directly oppo , site to bim sat fine bouncing dame-tat fair, and fifty, tightly done up in blue braid
 ed broadcloth, oyerhong with gilt BeIche
 chain, almost big enough for chain cable and she no sooner heard his complaint Q
 not being able to stand riding backward
 than she offered to change places with him
 whether from sympathy will, his fat, or re
 spect to her own blue broadcloth, did no appear. But how this exchange of place was to be brought about, was tbe thing
 to tho lockers on it seemed to De about t easy ss turning couple of buIlocks in
 waicl.-box; but as ihe necessity for t wa growing more urgent every moment, 'h'
 attempt was made. In tho first instance
 ,hey eacl, essayed to rise like ordinary pco 1: pie but that would not do; before th male' was half up, down be went, again. , squash! and they repeated the attempt second time with nc better success. IT i, .elhyau what, ma'm,' grunted tallow-keeci you'd better catch hold of my hands. = ! Tho lady complied; having hooked !''e
 fat 6ngers together, in tho way the boy call sbutclers' hold,' they succeeded :, sbousine' each osl,er up, fairly out oi tbc' :. respective seats but in the attempt to tur they miss'd stays, as it were, aud swup