Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-11-15
ALEXANDRIA GAZETTE.
Extract from Poem entitled Old Virginia
Georges
'Quid fac,SI iet,s segetes, 60
HINGE canere incipism'


Ses, and manner Of driving -gear-muies-
the or-pasiurss-harrows -skimmers, Sc.-
crab grass shepherds neutrality-suspicious.
tcays- tooires- hounds ik-milk maids
fe,ce raiis -,Cafiings -inrocafion-addressf 10
arafors-shaiiom piou ghing-ciouer gypsum
-cowtail-S Sir Humphrey Davy-year begins
-ctodh0ppers-operseer day-00nds
-distr.5ution OF labom-grubbing-efeets Of
leaving stun,ps-old teaces-hogs, &C. &c. Se'
/ sing che tiilage old Virginia knows,
Which cheats with hope the husbandman who
Not such as Marc sung in deathess strains,
To piping shepherds and Italian s~aius.
With "crops immense;" no "barn here euer
cracks;''
The wheat comes, always badly from the stacks,
The corn falls ever most sn'mensety'' short
OF vague conjecture or Of false report;
No ,ceH fed buLtocks drag the glittering plough,
But half starv'd horses, and the Lord knows
how
Their shoulders chaied By names Of naked wood.
Till downward streams regardlessly the blood;
Urged on necessarily by laundering whips,
Of shouting negroes with their ha,o's and geep's;
No we'll fed bullocks-no. but stubborn mules
Well match'd in villiany with him who rules,
For as their sides resound, just heaven! with
sticks
They Oft let Hy the most tremendous kicks;
Tho PomPey punch them, ana tho C3sar
curse,
1t serves no purpose bot TO make them worse.
Some Frenchmant SAID" would you convince
fool,
AS soon go kick IN stable with your muie;'
Sententious wit!--how fOrcible!-how true!
l daub the picture which at once he drew.
No well fed bullocks-but the bare boned OK,
nh re
Condo mned, tho pining with the hoilo,c horn,
To exist on fodder, but to eat no corn.
Repast too scanty lin the furrow Hat
The suff'rer sinks" the creature ,cds TOO tat.'
No smiling pastures spread inviting here,
But dry hot fields on ev'ry side appear,
A sulIry scene, dismal waste, alas!
Where mans great object is to kill the grass.
This tho attacked with never ending blows
From harrows, skimmers, and from gathering
hoes,
Will rise abhorrent on the farmers view.
Like the fau'd monster which Alcides slew.
Crab grass deracinate aud turn your backs,
1t starts like HYDRA from repeated whacks.
No shepherds tune their reeds to idle rhyme,
For none have leisure for such waste OF time;
To truth, the sheep by no one here are watcb'd,
Save rogues, who suffer if they can be catch'd;
Hound wo!f--or runaway, he only deals
10 closely dosging at their nimble heels.
Alas. poor Hocks! Arcadia's pastoral ground,
Nor {. Thyme" nor Cyrisus," can here be
found;
+" Disieaded udders"S ne'er approach the pail,
But only udders which are sure to fail.
Cows -poor-protuberant IN joints
Yield milk in spoonfuls, or at most in Pints.
What Melibeus, or what Tyterus too,
Could make rich cheeseN from milk Of azure hue?
Drawn by Miss Blackamore at early morn.
From things so fanish'd that They've turn'd to
horn
No "sallowsg blossom on the neighboring
hedge"
We use but fence rails which arc split by wedge,
Or watlings dry, unsought by Is Hybla's bees"
Which can't suck honey from dead limbs OF
trees.
Oh Muse!-bu, pshaw!-that's staIe!-a joke
What Muse, Iprythee, should hear invokea
Those maids Of Pipdus, in this Christian land,
Should not be call'd on for helping hand;
All! sooner call to aid the rustic lay,
Chiefs grown conspicuous in this farming day
Who rule in clubs, and stately there preside,
And mount their hobbies Tor q tedious ride;
Who write long essays m style confused,
Themselves more cupable than those abused.
Those sage Triptoemi who WELD the pen,
To show our fathers were misguided men;
Far, far inferior to their wiser sons,
Mere Gnths aud fandals. or ike baro'rous
Huns,
Whose SWAY brought ruin on the fairest plains.
These lacking mercy and those lacking brains.
Come then Arators of the modern school,
And be broignant to a rhy ming fool,
Himself farmer of that act i'fegs,
Who rip the goose to GET the golden eggs;
That stupid. blind. short-siehied hand.
Who skim the surface and undo the land:
Who rear no clover on thirsty soil,
For why!-i, grows not to reward their toll:
Who strew no gypsum. but absnrdly rail,
And swear tits nothing to the old cowtail.
These are their folies-these their crying sins,
Despite the pamphlet Of the enthusiast Biuns;
own the charge and cry myself, peccavi:
read, but follow not. Sir Humphry Davy.
Arise CIodhoppers! now begins the year.
Attend the business which demands your care.
O'rrseers all! whom TAYLOR dubs the "Priesfs (a)
of sad destruction. - mount your bob tail beasts,