Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-07-24
POLITENESS.

We mentioned, last week, Boston transla
ton of a French volume entitled The Gentleman
and Lady's Book Of Poiifeness, by a lady Of Pa.
ris,-Madame Celnari. The object of the lady
is to teach youth Of both sexes +" propriety Of de-
pOrtment,'' that is according TO the highest au-
thorines and practice of the French capital, where
the bienseances, the rules Of good breeding, are
supposed to be better understood than else where.
1t may be matter Of some curiosity, as il is GER
tainIy instructive, 10 know what are the views
aud reasonings Of an accomplished lady Of Paris
on this important and copious subject, aud what
she deems to be the received canons and appro.
we'd usages Of the French haM or bon ton. We
are tempted TO cite some of them, believing that
spare column Of our paper may be thus we'll EN-
ployed. 1t is not our main design to give hints
to American youth Of both sexes" for it is
possible that French example and doctrine, sound
in themselves, may not in every instance be A
merican practice.
We begin with the general definition Of po-
likeness which is pronounced to be {" the desire
of pleasing those with whom we are obliged to
live, and in a manner causing all around US to
be satisfied with us-superiors, with our respect;
EQUALS. with our esteem; and interiors with our
kindness" Politeness is the reverse of narrow
and vulgar selfshness-of the indulgence of our
animal nature III SoSid iuieiSou ~ iS5 uo"-
ever. sound policy. general expediency, on the
whole and in the end. All gain BY it IN exter'
nails, as we'll as BY the consciousness Of delicacy
and refinement. Benevolence is its main spring;
order and harmony, mutual good will and gene.
raj comfort are its results. Excessive gaiety,
extravagant Joy, great depression Of spirits, an
ger. love, jealousy, avarice, and, in fine, all the
vehement passions, are dangerous shoals to propi
ety of depor,ment" " Moderation is essentlal,
therefore; there must be selt-command aud self.
DENIAL; so that manners are IN fact morals. In
an assembly of truly polite people. all evil seems
to be unknown; what's just. estimabe aud good.
or what we call fl or suitable, is felt on all sides;
ACTIONS and language alike indicate II. A
stranger to the advantages of polite education
will feel at once the grace and value OF urbaDity.
il he has any natural business OF thought ADD ga
saoacity in observation" Let US now 90 into
some details.
Our pari. montress thinks that whoever enters
a church, during divine worship, should conform
to the general CEREMONIAL; preserve an air OF re-
spectful attention, and consult in behaviour what
may be presumed the feelings aud objects OF the
congregation. She condemns all raillery, even
in the ordinary intercourse OF the world, against
any religious observances; she would rigidly ex-
cludc from the mouths Ut her own-the pious
sex, all Ievity, and above all. infdeiy. on reli.
gious topics; as she would oaths. invectives,
doubles eatendres, and so forth. With regard to
the treatment Of parents by children. she says
4" We ought always to address them in respect
full aud kind tone; to anticipate them in every
thing; to ask their advice: to receive their re.
proofs with submission; to be silent with regard
10 the errors they commit; to shew them lively
gratitude Oh every occasion" As to the rela-
tiun of husband and wife, she begins with fair
reproof-" You use all your exertions to please
the world which you see only cursorily, and In
which you have power to procure only few mo-