Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1833-12-21


Their. so, to rights says he, Major every
BODY saws money is very scarce. mats true
enuf.' saws I, and it's not got as scarce az ~
will be afore winter is er;'-ahd then tell
IN. GiueraI the cause ont. 'Well,' says me
GineraI, II believe you are right; anu u 'he
w1rst comes to the worst says he, wen nave
a new bank, and that will make money plenty
a,n. wont i,?' .Yes,' says |. Il suppose SO;
but We can't cit new bank, Glneral, lore ms
ones time is out, and that's nigh three years ye''
and long afore that time,' says |. there w,i' De
trouble enuf, as this one must all the whi'e DC
colI.ctin 10 its own money; and folks VIII 'ai''
and be bankrupt; and then twenty ne" banks
will do no good Il don't see that. says me
Gineral. .Ifw couid make new bank now
saws |, fright off, and let it take up the business
nj the old one, it wouldn't make much odus -
But the law wont allow that. you know, Oihera'
And Jest then the Glneral got in way ne mas o,
twitchn with his suspender buttons oehin"; anu
n rights he broke one off There saws he,
d. Major. here is this conlounhed button oil asn
Well saws |, that's a small matter-here IS
taior's shop,-le,'s 60 in and make him put u on
and so i'm we went The tailor happened To ne
one of our party, and was tckled TO death 10 see
the President. and thought he was goin 10 gu an
office right off. and was plasily cut down "hen
he come to fad il was ony button on; anu =" nc
ium ned back on his board, and sat down on MS
heels asln, and said il the Glneral would take OIL
his pantaloons he'd put il on IN few minutes'-
looked at the Gineral. and he looked, al me
and we both looked at the tailor. Nhv' says
the Gineraf. this i, the worst thing. Major
ever met-Fm stump'd completely. II VIII ne
yer do to risk walking home With this button OH;
for If 'tother one comes off. It's all over WIN mt;
,,at .
Inv nuts on button, III ketch ny death OF cold .
Look here Major says the Glneral, ,na' o'her Ou''
ton IS taken all the strain, and it will come oil IN
less than five minutes-what Is to be done! IL
seems to me Mrjor. said the Gineral. that no
man is placed SO often IN such real trouble as
am'-.yes,' saws |. 'Gineral, but its fortunate
for YOU. you always have me with you Know
il, Maor,' says he, .aod hope you VIII De a,
true a friend now as ever YOU have been'-ahu
with that saws 10 the tailor, 'can't ynu IN things
now, SO as to get o, er all this trouocI' There
Is only one way,' saws the tailor, sand that I've
stated, aud another thIng.' says he, 'tbe Ginrral
wants new pair You rascal says the Gi-
neral, .vou can't make better pair, and one
that fits ne better, il yeu try month-,nese pan
taiuons, said the Glneral, are better than new
pair; and il they only had new buttons here they
would last NE 10 my dying day. IL takes me
weeks and months 10 &c, pair to sit easy. l
wont have a new pair says the Gineral, that
I'm determine on, i see says the Gineral,
what you are after--you want new job.
"Wsii," saws I, Gineral, let me try
and with tina, wax'd thread, and got new
button; and wilst the Gineral stood up. | sOt
down, behlud hrm, and stitched on the button IN
s mini,s the Gnrral all the while shakin his
hickory at the tailor. aud telling him that he had
no more brains in his head than he had IN HIS
tumble. " You are prtty fellow to belong to
nv partv," SAYS he; - | should have been IN
pritty condition if had taken your advice"
saws the GineraI. Let me ever ketch you at
the White House asin." So 10 rights, the tailor
cot mad too. and said he didn't belong 10 the Gl-
nerai's party -he was fancy k'ndie-Nan Blu
ren.Ja ksun man; he knew which side his bread
va, buttered; and looked piagey knowin too
it was Jest as much as could do to keep the
Gineral from smashin him-so saws !, "C0me,
Gnera. let's be moyin;" and we vent home
the Gineral all the while talkin about his escape
from an awfu, state that tailor was about getting
him in. {" Welt" says |, Gineral, little
things sometimes give us kirk. and IA notion OF
bigger ones: and now," says |. "do you know.
Gineral, we are in a scrape now pretty much
like that one we just got out on.' /" How so:'
saws the Gnerai Why" says |, the Bank
there it is" saws l. ''jcst like your panta.
looms, better than new; and only wants new
button; and some of these tailors about us here
want US to set shverin and shaS'n, and runnin
the risk of letting a rheumatic, that will last US
our lives. jes, Tor them to get the job OF maxim
new one.''
"And now" saws |, 81 guess you and had
better d,sappont 'em. as we did the tailor jest
now, stitch on new button, and things will all
90 smooth agin.' The Glneral didn't say a word;
but he got to th,nkin plagey hard. till we got
home sgin. and he got his pipe, and l got mine,
and Jest as We were tighten 'em, says ne, Ma
jor there are some fellows about US here that pes
ter me most despsratsy 1--WE must all 60 as a
Unit or | must blow 'em all up aud get new
set ..We'l think Of it," SAID the Glneral,
and with that, we cock'd our feet on the mantle
tree. and in less than five minutes you couldn't
see no more on Us than toes.
Your Friend,
j. DOWNING, Major,
DowningvIlle Militia. Cd Brigade.