Litchfield enquirer., 1833-12-12
4 CHAPTER ON HATS.

CHAPTER ON HATS.
'sYour bonnet to its right use, tits for the head
There are no people so ingenious at ex-
pedients as the Yankees. 1t would never
enter the heads of persons out Of New
England to use their hats for any other pur-
pose than as covering for their heads
In other parts of the globe when man
bows graciously to a friend he takes his lat
Off Such custom cannot DO adopted
here, for mans hat is his pocket book, his
satchel, his pantry, his clothes bag, his tool
chest, or his sugar-box, as occasion may
require and if he should take off his hat
in hurry, awkward consequences must
needs ensue! We once knew a young
gentleman having purchased dozen Of
eggs for his mother, forthwith popped them
into las hat. On his way home, he met
a pretty girl, with whose charms he had
long been smitten, and wishing to be par
.ticul arly polite, he took aft his hat, prepar-
atory to making a low bow. The twelve
eggs, by the power of gravitafon, were Of
course precipitated to the pavement and
Instantly smashed to atoms, and the beau
tiful white garment of the astonished girl,
was despatched with tho filthy yolks She
never forgave him.
How often, during windy day, do we
see hGtless wight chasing cloud Of pa
pers, which have made their escape and arc
borne away on the wings Of the wind. A
clergyman lately, who had been recently
settled in fonrishing village, was wont
to cross a small stream, on apbridget which
lay between his domicil and the Meeting
House. One memorable day, as he was
crossing the bridge when rude Boreas was
raging, his hat was blown from bis head,
and quietly deposited in the stream-but
his written discourse being somewhat light
er than the hat in which it was, of course,
deposited, was carried somewhat further,
and was never heard Of more.
1t has been remarked BY foreigners that
the natives Of New England are generally
round shouldered, This is, undoubtedly,
owing to the enormous weight which they
carry on their heads! A lawyer is seldom
seen with green bag in his hand-his le-
gal documents, and sometimes his law
books, are deposited in his hat; physi-
clans hat is not unfrequently an apotheca-
ry shop in miniature a merchants hat is
crammed with merchandise and stage
drivers hat is stuffed with bundles and
packages. A person about to take a short
journey seldom buribens himself with a
trunk. but takes change of apparel in his
hat. A late member Of, the Massacb usetts
Legislature, who represented a town not
more than 20 miles from Boston, always
carried his dinner to the State House In his
hat; and we have seldom seen the hat Of
an editor which was not stuffed with damp
newspapers, stolen paragraphs and IMAM
swered duns Hence editors arc always
round shouldered.
The change which has lately been efIec-
ted in the shape Of the hat, has been loudly
complained of, as It's reduced dimensions
puts the wearers to much Inconvenience
A hat of the most approved modern style,
will contain little else than pocket hand
kercbief. pair of gloves, and a few cigars.
But we hope this change in fashion will
produce corresponding change in the per-
pendicMl0rity Of certain individuals; :, and
that those persons who hang down their
heads while wearing a bell-crowned hat,
will soon strut about as stiff and upright as
a platoon vi well-drilled soldiers.
n Grammatical Dandy.-' What is a
verbl' asked boy the other day ola dam
dy. "A verb, you rogue, signifies TO have
Ito door TO suffer--such as Tailor
Shoemaker-or Hater.'
National Iraits-Eyery nation has its
traits. The Spaniards sleep on every af-
fair Of importsnce-the Italians fddic-ihe
Germans smoke-the French promise ev-
cry thing-the British eat-and the Amer
leans talk upon every thing.
"A EkGve.-Somc wag recommended
the use ofa paste oflime aud water, instead
Of Q razor, for the removal Of the Beard
A green horn recently made the experi-
ment, and found out that il not only remov-
ed the beard, but the skin alsol