Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1832-08-28
THE TWO MR.. SMITHS.

Il 4NU. oIOs -- StTtcts IINSu JUtlU SIDitls
a'grocer, aud a staid, steady, and upright man he
was, regular in conduc;, regular in his payments,
and never detected in sandips his sugar or wa.
tering the vinegar--nU attender OF political de-
bates, or other meetings which in any way tend
ell to interfere with business. Not so John
Smith, at "a. SIP, 10 the same street. Though
both in the sam. trade. this was the grosscr Of
the two: trick nf all sorts was his delight and his
practice, which. OF course. helped him not much
ON IN the world, and led him at last into many
sad disasters. To distinguish these two illustri-
Gus cognomens, the npishbors famlliar!y called
them Young ami Old Smith: but even this dis.
"tinctinn did unt save the steady one from sharing
the blame of his nc'gibor's widest prauks.-
Fancy-for such vas the case-the parish Off.
GERS entering Old SMITHS shop. and demanding
payment for a natural child which had been
sworn to him. l. was in vain to deny it: the
Girl had been positive. and produced his card
before the magistrate which he had given her
when he met her at Ragnigse Wells. The
crowd collected. and, al course. took the beadle's
part, and called Old Smith all manner of oppro-
brious names. and he was dragged of to the po-
lice Office. His scapesrace namesake could not
help coming 10 see the fun. when he was recOg-
Missed by the unfortunate mother, Old Smith re.
leased, and the saddle placed on the right horse.
Here it might have ended toierably well, had not
Young Smith whispered to the elder Mrs. s. that
it was all right, his character was gone, and he
would willingly bear the blame to befriend a
neighbor. The storm which now ragged within
his doors exceeded all his former treatment
Protcstations of innocence, ~ such cases. go for
nothing;-she was a much injured woman, and
h. a nasty old brute. Oh, gentle sex. this is a
situation where your gentleness serves you not.
Poor Old Smith was fairly. or rather unfairly,
| driven from home. and ali tor those sins which
and here perhaps lay hi, faut-it was not his ma
ture to commit
In the retirement of Hastings did he await the
abatement of that tempest he had lef' behind, en-
dravOuring not to care IA fl for grocery and home.
| Yet here was the weary not at rest; Tor his young
tormentor soon found it convenient to %sojourn for
| a period oat OF town & the laws reach, & perched
himself exactly opposite his punndam neighbour,
whom he soon discovered under the ieigned name
of Thompson. On that same evening did he re-
| ceive a message from him, to ask 1t his name was
Smith, as he SO much resembled a gentleman'of
that name whom he had known In Lnndon.-
Thrown off Lis guard, he answered ''Yes-,hat
is, no-my name is Thompson. as | t"id you be-
fore" ''Very well, Sir. said his demure land.
lady. significantly; it is very easy to make mis-
takes in a name. In half an hour after, and
just when he had directed an appealing letter to
his angry wife. he was suddenly broken in upon
by the constable and all the posse of the little
town. A handful was produced. offering fifty
poands for the apprehension OF one Smith, who,
as smiths will do. had been forging. lie exactly
answered the description,--brown coat. bob wig,
short breeches. and bIark CATERS; had left his dis
consulate wife and family. This latter part the
landlady c0rroburated from his overhead %ejacula.
tions; and the letter on the table fully confirmed
it. :.
A week elapsed before the county Dngberries
could unravel so clear a case, but which, happily,
was the means of ret onciling him to his spouse;
not but that she now keeps a sharper look out
after him. Daily is he still ANNOYED by some
application intended for his name sake; and much
is she shocked at reading the letters he opens by
mistake. WHAT'S in a pane? He knows; for
though the London Directory contains four pages
of his, he seems the unlucky one t" father all
mistakes. Luckily for him, his ~neiyhbor has
lately become bankrupt. and lett the street; but
a few days since, he was mortified to hear two
pert young bankers clerks, in passing. say,
"Here's Smiths, the grocer, we lost so much
by, and he has got his shop open again, as impu.
dent as ever" 1t is in vain for him to write up
mo connexion with any other houses en-
o~uiries, demands, and bad notes, all find their
way TO him; and he must either change his name,
or take his wife's advice and advertise that he