Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1832-04-25
"ITEMS"-Keni=ed and Condensed

HITEMS'-ReInl-ed anu CONDENSED
Newspapers, nowadays. are nothing without
~ items '-Two salmon trout were sold in
the Boston market la st week; but the question
whether the first shad were purchased bv Boy
den or Edwards has not been satisfactorily set
tled.-The Eastern Argus contains an aw-
full catastrophe. copied verbatim from the Yer
mont Chronicle, with credit AN editor
somewhere in New. Hampshire has discovered
that Napolean had strong prediction for dres-
SEES made OF battiste muslin. OF the
Boston papers of Tuesday had items" on both
sides of it.-A witty editor at the westward
enumerates the donations TO Colleges and says,
"to Amherst has been given refusal to give
any thing. ''-Horse shoes are Of very little
service. except on the feet Of horses; we have
heard of a frugal housekeeper who used an old
one to set her flatron upon when hot, and of a
very religious old lady who nailed one over her
door To prevent the entrance Of white witches.
-It is stated, that little girl was taken
i'll, after having jumped rope 10Y times. Lit
tie girls ought not to jump rope l07 times.
1t is stated that the Legislature Of Georgia has
passed law for the protection of cranberres.
We did not know that cranberries grew in GeOr-
gia-It is stated that the atmosphere is that
of the English November. As all our readers
have spent that month in Egland, they, of course,
know, or ought to know, what an English No
vember is At any rate, it is no affair Of ours.
-It is stated that twenty-nne hogreeves are
elected at Newburyport, from those persons re-
Gently married Ii is hoped they will drive their
pigs to good market. It is stated that wi
aows are as plenty as blackberrles in the town of
Lynn, and the Gazette hazards an opinion that
some of them would do well in the Western
States, but it does not say ho,o many. This was
an inadvertent omission -lt is stated that
sallows and one of the late Marshas Princes
earknots would be an effectual cure for tipping
1T is stated that a promising
young man from Virginia visited the theatre in
Baltimore one night last week. We do not learn
whether he paid for his ticket or not.--lt is
stated that it is proposed to establish paper on
purpose to encourage the "item" manufacture.
to be called the .sitem Wing and MonosyabIe
File Trap. We will subscribe for two copies if
the publisher will take his pay in "i,ems -
The Gazette says our stems" carry sting in
their tails. II we have not succeeded in our at
tempt to make these as stale and fiat as those
to the nOrhward of US, IS we give
it up. ''-Boston Courier
Chncher.-An American Paper says this is
The method of catching tigers in lndia:-A man
carries board on which human figure is paint.
ed: as soon as he arrives at the den he knocks be-
mind the board with hammer: the noise suddenly
rouses the tiger, when he flies in direct Ii ne at
The board and graspsit, and the man behind it
,Iinches his claws into the wood, and SO secures
llm. London Courier.
Legal Jokes.-The new bankrupt court, If
bankrupt in thing else, is not bankrupt in wit.
Recently one of the inferior judges, whose sala-
les are. BY the act, to be paid out Of the fees,
seeing that the whole amount was absorbed by the
,hief. observed to an associate on the bench, Up
IN my word. R, begin to think that our
appointment is all matter Of moonshine." IL
rope il may be So" replied R, "ior then we
hall soon see the first quarter"
The same humorous judge had listened to a We
v long argument on particular case in which I
he counsel rested much upon a certain act OF
Parliament His opponent replied, You need
Tot rely that act, for its teeth have been drawn
}, so many decisions against it. that it is worth
othins." Still the counsel argued on, and in
listed on its authority; after listening to which !
or good hour, his IOrdship drily remarked. ~
10 believe all the teeth of this act have been drawn,
Or there is nothing left but the jaw.'-London
Literary Gazette.
The Dean Of is notorious as always fishing
Or Bishopric; and in allusion to this circum.
lance, when LuttreI was lately asked to what
imily the Very Rev. Gentleman belonged. 81
o not know" replied the wit; "but take 1t
Or granted, that he is some relation to the Mar
uis Of Angle,sea' (see). /
In the course of dispute which is going on
etween two rival sporting magazines. into the
lerits Of which, on either side, we do not pro-
'ss to enter,it is stated that single contributor
} one of them drew, in six years, no less than
5000 If such were really the case. the gen.
eman IN question cannot be said tn have bad
bad sport"