Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1832-04-19

tween absolute nudity and that period when
the organ VI ipqaisliiveness was more fully
developed. and the clothes that mature tail.
or to the bear, denied "a man." were torn bv
bin from the backs Of his Bother hrutes.
There was an age at clnth. rude indeed at
FIRST, and but little superior to thar of the
skins, which was subdlslied into tire robe, or
tunle age. which rose. dauflshed, declined
and ioll with imperial Rome, then came the
donblrt End hose aye, contemporary with
that Of chigalsy and almost indehtiiioi with
n IL would require more Gone than intend
TO devote to the subject, 70 dilate upon the
hreeches age. whether OF broad cloth, buck
skin, velvet or satin, the tight pantaloon aga.
when dandy's neither cxtremlties resembled.
the sk'naeJ hind legs Of constructive bull
frog; the loose PANTHEON age, which like the
down east mans whip handle was "bigg, 81
al the little cond," more capacious at the AM
kle than in the seat, which windy weatheu
converted intoa correct likeness Of the Chi
nese sugar ioaf hat, and when inflated with
ambitious atmospheric air. took delight in
gratifying the wasp wasted exquisite. villa
halloonery; then WAS the wig age. too, colla-
teral with aud auxiliary 10 that of nnmen-
tionables; and hnall, the present age. wbich
may with equal propriety and safety he de-
nominated the shirtLss age. par ssnisssnce!
Before suspendors "hammellod up" the in
expressibes. the shirt ostentatiously psotrad-.
oil Itself between the saistbxnd and his vesn
philosophers cannnot discover when snd
where this fashion of waistbanding tho
breeches came into vogue among the modern
.srry aud greasy saiiors--snc Of them thnlks
thai il has taken bull frog leap from AUDI
lang sync" to our day---and another OF the
sage lights Of the world grsvely maintains
that suspcnders are neither more nor lrss
han Wristbands, and brings as proof the exc
preston Of the lsish jack tar, who asserted
that 'his s,spsadsrs were his tcais,bossd But
. lew years SINCE. The snow-white and n,ce-
y plated ruills was prevented from flufter-
lug IN the breeze by the jewelcd breast pns
and now, whenever | 60 abroad, ! see tho
tdealess soulless, worshlppers u fashion. 40
carefully hiding every appearance OF linen.
whether clean or dirty, as aS!asllions bio
belle does grey hair or freckle, hole in
her stocking. or flaw IN her reputation
an Englshman and Frenchman disputinn
apon the comparative improvements thrir
respective nations had msde in dress
sare." said the extrrminator OF frogs, ..in
Ia belle France We ave invent dc roffci, one
grand ornament Cor de hand" "Very lru.,"
the sturdy Briton. sbut we In
glish have improved upon your invention.
Tor we have added a shirt to your ruff. -
but ala.l "the glory Is Departed from
among us of irsenting the shirt. Fashion
sAs decreod that the very name Of "shirt"
Ike pett,coat---my fashionable paper blash1
= with fashionable modcsty, as | write tho
words 80 near to each other on it, pure sur.
ace lis indecent and not fit to DO used by
good society" and even were that not tho
'ase, the word must soon become obsolete.
because the thing that the word represents
has ceased to exist among the votaries OF
hat despotc goddess. Catching inspiration
and enthusiasm from the spirit Of reform, and
that has invaded the cabinet
Did and new, Of General jackson, aud that
;hararterzes the counclls OF William Nv; the
Of Fashion have at one blow
opped away the entire garmsot, substituting
slse collars, false wristbands and false
bosoms, hlnging at the feet of the weeping
genius Of bsn,shed cleanliness. "the empty
md bloody skin of the inundated victims.''
This mode, 1t seems, is leplete with falsity.
lad shFtlessness. reminding one oi FalstaH's
'egiment OF scarecfos like soldiers, not one
u whom could boast of sh,rt on his hack.
lerc, it was to be hoped. xouid have ceased
he destructiUn, but no. the weathercock-
Ike demon Of Fashion and Folly issued ano-
her deere, and also collars, aud falso
even paper ones disappeared---
he false bosom did indeed struggle, and
,asp for breath. but it was the feeble and
aeHeciual writing OF a siekiy calf in the
olis Of the Boa Constrictor--enter dsu-
'le breasted vest, and the false bosom VAS
10 more. even i.nt "hurrible shadow" that
unreal mockery" vanished in eternal night,
Stocks rose, not q. 8 iiye per cent for 1885,
nor Ohio SKIES, out neck stocks. and the
aise collar. left its post on the cheek bono
II The exquisite, the dIckey ceased to exco-
tate the lobe OF the danay's ear. the false
whether Of paper or we'll starch
ID cotton, retfc.ted up the coat sleeve--A
Of taiiors decrecd that the vest
should be double breasted and padded, and
Is upper button should DO located on the
,houider blade, and ils blossom friend" the
asst feeble aud expiring relic Of cleanliness,
once the pride and boast. as well as the dis
tin gaish,ng mark Of gentleman. was an
Initiated, smothered, Ike Desdemoua, by
its nearest and dearest fiiend, hitherto, alike
its foil and IFS ersar1eBt, ats contrast and its
now
Foil many skin, that dirt and sweat be-
CRIME,
The double breasted yests Of Fashion hide,
Full many A., from waist to chin may
climb Sc"
But drop tho parody, not from inability to
follow il further. but because ! hold IL as .
species of high treason TO reveal any more
secrets Of the toilet masculine, have but
one consolation under this affection, namely