Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1832-07-26

charm wove into my senses, and frlttered
away my faculties. 1t now seems as u
terrible and impossible dream--but the
horrors of that dream are imprinted with
letters of fire upon my brain. The ago.
MES of my remorsc, have been az ser
pents gnawing the tenderest vitals Of my
existence. gazed back upon the past,
and would fam blot its hallowed moments
from the page ofmy being.
II But 10 continue. With "stcahhy step
and SLOW" | became the victim of in
tempcrance--neglected my business, and
was a bankrupt-was at first pointed at
and piiied by my friends and relatives,
and at last, stunned aud despiscd as u
disgrace aud dishonor.
1t was many months before my wife
could bring herselito the coa action, that
| was a drunkard. had come to her in
her youth and beauty had called forth
and broken up the deep recesses Of her
SOUL that was appauded for my in
Iteg'ty-honored for my vHtue-and en-
ulated for my character--how could she
deem me drunkard-a loathed and con-
ltemptible sot--a disgrace TO my namc
and disgrace to humanity. She closed
her eyes tor weary period upon truth
so horrible, and cndeavorcd to shut out
from her sense, and her understanding
the blackncss OF my guilt! Oh God
how that being clung to, and worshipped
me, even amid the abject contumcly of
my degradation. How she clung amid
the wretchedness of her despair, to the
hope that might yet be retrieved. How
she wePt, and persuaded, and endeavor-
ed to iascinate me back TO my domestic
enjoyments, and to keep me, even for one
night, from the dens OF iniquity and the
revelry Of crime! How she "threw her
white arms around me-" and besought
me with earnest looks, and pure cares
ses to remember my eary vows-to re-
member my own happinc ss-hcr peace
of mind, and my fathers cares for the
sake of his only child, and the heir to his
hitherto unspotted fame. Oh, my God
how impossible il now Sc ems, that could
this, and bathe nv senses, like brute,
in the debasing influence of intoxica,ion.
Would to heaven that | could live over
again my young life. Woild that again
/ might hear the glad voice of Amelia,
and bask in the innocent smiles Of her
affection! Would J could call up the
shade of my murdered sire, and weep a
way my shame and anguish in tears of
blood! But in vain now is The agony Of
my remorse-In vain do repent of my
early error, ard invoke the past hours. i
II was- probably three years after my
marriage that l became bankrupt-the
progress Of my debasement was rapid.-ll
gave myself completely up to intempe-
'ance. The intoxicating draught opera
ed upon my mind, like some bewilder- i
ng spell Of infatuation-l was unable to
esist its influence. Twas unable to turn \
way from the tide of ignominy which
vas hurrying me to the vortex of destruc- b
ion. My mind, though it did not actu- !
lily decay, seemed somewhat affected
vith my body. My affections were be-
Iumbed and torpid land the sympathies of
ny bosom held affinity with nothing but
rink. +
Amid the most abjcct poverty, my wife
hared my destiny. Bloated and dis
orted as were my features, she still i'm. :
gined she saw in it traces Of my early
condition. And when, in some fitful mo-
lent OF l-lnorse and sanity, profcssed
epe pentance-when, for a moment, | told
Ter that nv affection for her still lived
Oh God! what flush of joy overspread
he features of my poor Anelia--what q,
brill of rapture seemed tingling through
er VEINS, as she still hoped to save me-
Then she would tell me over all my
respects of retrieving my fortune-that
was yet young; that my father would
eceive me back into. his confidence-Il
lat she would love me, and CHERISH me
-and then for moment, melted and
vercome, | would promise her TO re-
'rm. But | could not. The curse was :
pom me, and in vain | endeavored to
lakc it of.
At last my poor wife grew sick; she
ore up for long season under her suf-
rings, but finally her heart broke and
,e died. a
/ had humanity enough left to know
e extent Of the evil had inflicted =
1t in the horrors of the moment had
IT one resource, the bowl-the nccur-
d bowl. Again and again, l slipped of
deep damnation. 7
A little longer and was a spectacle
sgusting to the philanthropist. A beg =
ar and drunkard, ! wandered through
e streets Of my native city, an object
contempt and shame. My father .,
'urned me from his door-but alas! the ~
d man was but a little while for this n
orld. My Infamous career soon bore his
ray hair with sorrows 10 the praye.-L: