The Massachusetts spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1831-1858, 1832-01-18
DOCTOR ABER NETHY.


DOCTOR ABERNETHY.
That the late Mr.. Aberrethy was mar
of splendid talents and great feature" II
the medical world, there needs no ghos
from the grave to prove; but, nevertheless
doubts have been expressed whether his
eccentricity of manners. rudeness of behav
Tor, and the difficulty Of approach to his per
son, Ia forlorn hope upon several occasions
without being affronted,) did not do more
for him with the public in general than the
whole of his studies and requirements pu
together. He was not the "sugar and wa
ter" physician who would smile in your face
laugh at your credulity-and pick your
pocket by " friendly" prescriptions, calculat
ed neither to produce mischief nor good
Neither did the late doctor wish to impose
on the minds of his patients by the flourish
of a diamond ring-the display of lace ruff
fes-the dress coat-the pompous gait
the significant nod in fact, he did not dress
for the character at all !; and dancing at
tendance on the great was entirely out Of
his knowledge of the practice. In reality,
the late doctor was what the world called a
rude but highly gifted man. To encounter
him at times was anything but pleasing the
timid female was more than alarmed at his
harsh reply the resolute man stood abashed
at the unexpected check he received frsm
his rude remarks; and the bold fellow was
frequently brought to a stand still by the
authoritative, decisive tone of the doctor,
bidding the patient "Begonei that he Mr..
A was no physician" But he had his in
teresting moments, when he became elo-
quent, communicative, and truly pleasing to
his friends. 81 am too passionate" he
would observe to his company, "and |
ought never to have been a medical man,
Yet to those applicants who could put up
with his oddities Of temper he was doctor
of the very first class, and his advice to
them was important indeed. Every person
or quitting his presence felt strongly, that
he possessed ability from his little toe to the
highest hair upon his head. From sensi-
BILE mind, too, he liked the WHY? that, in
return, he might give the BECAUSE.
There was no trick, no finesse, no hum
bug about his practice. He called things
by their proper names: he always told the
truth, while other medical men endeavored,
perhaps on the score Of feeling or polteness,
10 conceal it from the mind of the agitated
pdLlOnl tuS COuuuCt vi Luc uOClDt was
straightforward upon all occasions. To
die! or not to die? questions often propos-
cd to him, he answered unhesitatingly
and those persons who possessed fortitude
enough to meet his reply, were relieved
from "thousand doubts, hopes, and fears,
that the flesh is heir to-"
However, in spite of the doctors we'll
known confidence, he was to be managed
and he was frequently defeated against his
will, when he least expected it; although
eccentric to the very echo Of eccentricity,
yet the eccentric man had the best chance
with him in overcoming his peculiarities
the blunt man often got the better of the
doctors rudeness; and the bold hero, some
thing after the manner Of "Greek to Greek )"
more than once or twice proved his master.
The following incidents will illustrate his
eccentricity. A jolly-hearted fox-hunter in
the neighborhood of Doncaster, one of those
choice-spirits who had lived rather "too
lass and his glass, fond of his dog and his
gun-and "Yoicks bark forward, tally no -
to him far sweeter sounds than Braham's
"Beautful maid"-felt himself out of sorts
in other words, he could not tell what
was the matter with him he therefore con-
suited the Boius of the place, of whom the
whole parish declared no man could better
Gid pill!
Make bill,
Or bleed or blister.
But the country apothecary, with all his
Caleb QuoteIn sort of talent proved of no
use to the fox-hunter; the complaint Of the
latter got worse and worse, and he was de-
termined to consult, without any more delay,
one of the faculty in London. Ahernethy
was pointed out to him as most likely to
make him hearty again but, at the same
time, it was intmated to him the reception
he would probably meet with on making his
bow. "Never mind" says he, "if l do not
prove myself match for the doctor, may
my mare refuse the first leap she comes to
may never again be in at the DEATH" On
stating the nature of his complaint to Aber-
nethy, the latter replied, "Sir, the sooner
you go back the better; you have come on
II FOOLS errand am ne doctor" The fox
hunter, in great surprise, observed, "Per-
haps have mistaken the house; and if I
have intruded myself into your company
l am sorry for it. May ask, sir, is your
name Abernethy'" Yes" replied the
Doctor, Abernethy is my name" "Aber-
nethy and no doctor!" said the fox-hunter,
"but have been told that you are a joker
though joke to man who has come tive
hundred miles, is rather too much out of
place for him to relish it !" "Joke or no
joke" answered Abernethy, "you will find
am no doctor; and the sooner you quit my
house the BETTER" (gettng up TO ring the
bell for the servant.) "Henr me, doctor
Abernethy," replied the fox-hunter, pulling
out his purse at the same time,) " have
not much knowledge, it is true, but trust
have too much sense TO put my purse in
competition with my constitution; there
fore name your fee, and lie it great or small,
! will give it 10 you! That you are doc
tor, and man of great skill, fame reports
all over the kingdem: your talents have in
duced me to trave! two hundred miles ex-
pressly for your advlce--therefore none o!
your tricks upon travellers! will not he
disappointed Advice | come for-and nd.
vice I piH havew running Immediately up
to the door, locking it, and putting the key
into his pocket.) He then held out bis
wrist to the, Doctor. "You ,oiu have ad.
vice." echoed the Doctor in rage, "Inso.
lent man not from me. | again tell you
that am no physician" The fox-hunter
putting himself in boxing attitude, advanc.
ed towards Mr.. Abernethy, and in an often.
sive manner exclaimed, "Then, by -,
will make doctor Of you; and if you dc
mot feel my pulse without any more cquivo.