Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 182?-183?, 1832-01-06

De as fond ofhim as possible. Soon the
clock told III, and Obed began to think
1t high time to have matters operating,
as he felt rather drowsy. But he could
not think of single word that would
apply to his case. Dolly sat locking in
to the fire seemingly very much embar-
raised, but silly laughing at the Captain
difficulty.
Captain Slow at length thought this
was the time to do or de- and he at
tempted to speak, but his heart seemed
to fly up his threat and stop his utter
ance.
'Ahem--ahem. Miss Dolly-you
must perceive and here Obed stuck
fast-'That it's very cool night said
Dolly with pretended shiver, and a
most bewitching grin. These proceed
ings were far from pleasing the Captain.
and he felt relieved Of at least a thousand
pounds.
Il declare how this ere fire smokes ;
observed Dolly. ooh that's cause you're
so harnsum, Dolly-they say a beauty
draws smoke said Obed, who now
thought he had done wonders. But il
happened that the smoke was on the
Captains side of the fireplace. Dolly
could hardly keep from laughing, as she
rose and came in front of Obed to regu-
late the fire.
AS soon as she approached near enough,
the Captain with bold heart, seized her
by the arm and drew her into his capa-
cious lap. Blush not, gentle reader
but consider that these events occurred in
the days of our grandfathers, when such
things were common even in parties to
say nothing of cOurtShip.-Dolly sat as
mute as kitten, with the exception of
little squirming at first. The Captain
was in ecstacies at his good fortune, but
after halfhour's space he almost repent-
ed his forwardness. Now this Dolly
was quite sizeable girl, weighing ct
least two hundred she knew it too, and
had not the remOtest idea of altering her
position. Obed bore her weight as pa
tiently at first as he could, but soon he
beganto experience sundry prickling SEN
sations in his legs. To ask her to rise,
would be perhaps, to sacrifice what he
considered his dear bought advantage
I-on the other hand to let her remain he
could not.-The heat ofthe fire added to
his exhausted spirits, soon brought Nor
pheus "a great favorite of Obed) to his
assistance, and that hand which had
SO lately clasped Dolly's arm dropped
helpless by his side. The mischievous
Dolly now carefully freed herself from
him, and replaced on his knees in her
stead, large churn filed with butter
milk. and betook herself to bed as fast
as possible, laughing well at the Joke
she had played on the captain.
In the mean while, the sleeping Obed
was dreaming at the rate of at least ten
knots an hour He thought his legs
were screwed into blacksmith's vice,
and all his efforts to disengage himself
were fruitless. At length as the pain
increased, Obed gave one desperate leap,
and overseeing the churn and its contents
found himself astride the old house doc
in the other corner, who set up such q
hideous yelping as caused the Deacon to
below out fire and murder most Justify.
Just as Obed found his fee: and had
fairly opened his eyes, he beheld the
forms OF the Deacon and his consort, clad
in their night clothes, emerging from
their sleeping apartment, the former arm
ed with his cane, and the latter with her
broom, drawn up in battle array. But
Obed, like aciSe military man, thought
it more expedient to make glorious re-
treat, than to stand the chance of battle
and suiting the action to the thought, he
was off as fast as his legs could carry him.
nor did he stop to look behind, until al
the doorof his own mansion.
Suffice tito say, this was Capt. Obed
Slows first and last Courtship > and al
though his visage grew somewhat longer.
and he kept his room for week or two,
his misfortune did not break his heart
He retained his farm and titles to the
day of his death, thanking his lucky star.
that twas not his fate to have the trouble
and expense of wife. Dolly Patch
was married to her first lover lust SIX
weeks from the eventful night, the trans.
actions of which are above recorded.
-.s0s--
CURIOUS PUNISHMENTs
From the old Records of MasSachpsetts
6et'oeen The gears 1850 and 1850.
IL CT