Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1832-06-02
ALEXANDRIA GAZETTE
TOO HANDSOME FOR ANY THING.


MIR. Ferdinand Ftzroy was one OF those mo,
.,es of nerfection of which human father and
mother can produce but single examPle,-Mr.
Ferdinand Fitzroy was therefore an only son.
He was such an amazing favourite with both MS
parents. that they resolved to ruin him; accord
inyly. he was exceedingly spoiled, never annoy
ed by the sight Of book, and had as mach plum
cake as he could eat. Happy would 1t have
been for Mr.. Ferdinand FitzrOy coald he always
have eaten plum. cake and remained ch,ld: -
:. Never" says the Grecian tragedian, ''reckon
mortal happy till you have witnessed ms emu.
most beautiful creature was Mr.. FerdInanu
F,tzroy! Such eyes-such hair-such teeth
such a feure-such manners, too,-and sucn al
irresistible way of tying his neck CLOTH when
he was about sixteen, Grabbed old uncle repre-
sented to his parents the proprlety oil teach'pg
Mr.. Ferdinand Fitzroy to read and write
Though not without much dificulty,he convinced
them;-for he was exceeding y rich, and riches
in an uncle are wonderful arguments respecting
the nature of nephew whose parents have noth'
ing to leave him. So our hero was sent to
school. He was naturally am not joking now
a very sharp, clever boy; and he came on sur
prisinsly IN his learning. The schoo!master,s
wife liked handsome children. "What genius
will Master Ferdinand FitZroy be, II you lake
pains with h,m'' said she to her husband
.sPooh, my dear, II IS OF no use 10 Jake Pa'"'
with him "
sand why. lover"
because he is a great deal too handsome
ever to b. scholar"
And that's true enough, my dear" said the
schoolnaster's wife.
So. because he was too handsome to be scho,
lar. Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy remained the lag OF
the fourth FORM
They took Our hero from school. " What
. NV nrst cousin Is the LORD Cnancetor,
said his father, ''iet him so TO the bar. -
The Lord Chancellor dined there that day;
Mr.. Ferdinand Fitzroy was introduced to him;
his Lordship was a little rough-faced, beetle
proved, hard featured man, who thought beauty
and ideness the same 'hing-and parchment
skin the legitimate CO Jlexion for lawyer.
"Send him to the bar!',. said he; ''no, 10,
that will never do!-Send him into the army; he
is much too handsome to become lawyer"
{" And that's true enough, my Lord" said the
mother. So they bought Mr.. Ferdinand Fitz-
roy cornetcy in the-Regiment OF ORA
goons.
Things are not learned by inspiration. Mr.
Ferdinand Fitzroy had never ridden at school,
except when he was hoisted; he was therefore, a
very indifferent horseman; they sent him to the
riding school, and every body laughed at him.
ale is Did ass" said Cornet Horse
phiz, who was very ugly, I" A horrible puppy
said Lieutenant st. Squintem who was still ug-
lier; :. II he does not ride better, he will dis
grace the regiments said Captain Rivalhate
who was very good looking; &" II he does not ride
better we will cut him." said Colonel EverdrIii,
who was wonderful martinez; 81 say, Mr..
Bumpemwell Ito the riding mastery, make that
youngster ride less like miller sack"
"Pooh. sir, he will never ride better"
Z" And why the d. will he not!"
"Bless you, Colonel, he is agreat deal too
handsome for cavalry officer"
"True!" said Cornet HorsephiZ.
"Very true!" said Lieutenant ST. Squintem.
"We must cut him!'' said the Colonel.
Aud Mr.. Ferdinand Fitzroy was accordingly
cut.
Our hero was a youth of susceptbity-he
Quilted the-Regiment, and challenged the
Colonel. The Colonel was killed
'What terrible BLACKBOARD is MIR. Ferdi-
nand Fitzroy!" said the Coonel's relations.
"Very true" said the world.
The parents were in despar!-.They were not
rich; but our hero was an only son, and they
sponged hard upon the Grabbed old uncle.
ic - tiC'SiS saiu tuSJ ootiS
NAV do yet"
$50 they borrowed some thousands from the
uncle, and bought his beautiful nephew seat in
parliament.
Mr., Ferdinand Fitzroy was ambitious, and de.
srous of retrieving his character. He tagged
like dragoon-conued pamphlets und reviews
got Ricardo by heart-and made notes on the
English constitution.
He rose to speak.
{" What handsome fellow" whispered one
member.
All, coxcomb!" said another.
"Never do for a speaker" said a third, very
audibly.
And the gentlemen on the opposite benches
sneered and heared! Impudence is only indigcn-
Gus in Milesia, and an orator is not made in a
day. Discouraged By his reception, Mr.. Ferd.
nand grew little embarrassed.
Told you so!'' said one Of his neighbours.
"Falrly broke dewn!" said another.
"Too fond Of his hair to have any thing in his
mead" said third, who was considered wit.
q