Southern planter., 1832-12-22
MHsCELLANY.
SCANDAL.

0OfAlNDhL.
snow, lei ii work. Mischief thou art afoot,
Take what course thou wilt"
The subsfance Of the following is no fiction. In
o neghbouring village, whose inhabitants, like the
good people Of Athens, were much given to eel
ther tell or hear some new thing" lived Squire p
a iaceiious, good natured sort Of body, whose
Jokes are even yet matter Of Village Record, and
have been 70 told through various editions, from
folio down to duodecimo.
Aunt Lizzy was Deacon Snipe's wife's sister
q maiden lady of about ffly-she went 10 all the
meelings-kept a regular account of every birth,
death and marriage, with their daies--doctored all
the babies, and knew every yarb in the neighbour
hood--showed all the young married women how
to make soup, and when they had bad luck, made
every child 10 The house sif cr0ss-legged until the
luck changed. 10 fine, she was a kind of village
iactotum--spert her time in going from house to
house, grinding out grist Of slander 10 each. az
occasion required, but always concluded with sstbe
way Of iransgFession is hard . ~poor Mrs A. or B.
(as the case was) pity her from the bottom of NV
heart" or some such very soothing reflection
Aunt Lizzy was always very fond OF asking sirau-
gers and others, without regard to time or place,
"the state OF their minds; how they enjoyed their
mindsr &c. These questions were generally fol-
lowed by string Of scandal which was calculated
to destroy the peace and happiness Of some Of her
best neighbours and friends; but she, like other
narralors Of this kind, considered such intellectual
murder as eith0r establishing her own fair reputa-
tion, or as the only mode of entertaining the village,
and thereby rendering her society agreeable.
One warm summers afternoon, as the Squire
was sitting near his Office door, smoking his pipe.
Aunt Lizzy was passing by with great speed ru-
ninating on the news Of the day, when the Squire
brought her suddenly TO, as the sailors saw, by
"what's your hurry, Aunt Lizzy2 walk in,n The
old lady, who never wanted q second invitation,
went into the Office, and the following dialogue
soon commenced.
"Well Squire P. I have been thinking this fore.
noon what an useful man YOU might be, if you'd
only leave off your ight conversations as the good
book says, and become a serious man--you nigh
be on ornament TO both church and state, as oul
Minister says"
"Why, as TO that, Aunt Lizzy, cheerful coun
senance consider as the best index Of a grateful
heart, and you know what the Bible says on thai
auolect--When ye fast, be moi as the hypocrites Of
sad countenauce; but annoint thy head and suasR
thy face, (Aunt Lizzy began to feel for her pocket
handkerchief for she was a taker of snu) that thou
appear NOT unto men 10 fast y
Snow, there Squre-thalis Just what told Won
see how you have the scripter at your tongues end
what 40 useful man you might be in our church. /
you'd only be doer as well as a hearsr Of III,
word
"As to that, Aunt Lizzy, don't see that vol
.Prcfessors,' as you call them, are whit bette
than am, in priDate. | respect sincere profes
sion as much as any man; but / know enough o
one Of our church, whom you think great dea
OF, 70 know that she Is no better than she ought I,
te!"
Al these inuendoes, Aunt Lizzy's little blacI
eyes began TO twinkle; she sat down beside N,
Squire, 10 order 10 speak in lower tone-spreac
her handkerchief her lap and began TO tap III.
covor Of her snuff box in true style, and all thing.
being IN readiness for a regular siege Of ascanda
lum magnainm," she commenced fire
"Now, Hqnire, l want to know what YOU mean
BY one Of oor church, know what YOU mean
the irollop--l didn't like 80 many curs about hel
nsaa, when she told her experience" j"
The Squire fudinq curiosity was putting nj.
boots on, had no oecaa6n 10 add spurs to the heels
ioF the old lady hadonc il her head that was worth
both of them. Accordingly he had no peace until
he consented 20 explain what he mesnt BY the ex.
precision ga prirute7--lbls was dear word with
Aunt Lizzy.
nNov. Ann, Lizzy, will you take Bible oath,
you will never communicaie what an about