The Arkansas advocate., 1831-08-24

one WHO can aselst Iliili III Ills ahdtiss tighten his cares, soothe his sorrows, purify his joys, strengthcnhis principles, and educatehis children. Such is the womf.n wilo is fit for wife. q mother,
 aud amistress of family.-Ladies' yiiag. During the Revolutionary War, when
 corps of the American army were en-
 camped near the borough of Elizabeth- town in New Jersey, an officer who was more ofa ievotee of Venus tl,aa Il Mars, paid his addresses 10 q lady of distinction. whom he was in the habi of visiting nightly, in the cultivation of
 those kindly feelings which love so cor
 dially inspires. Ona discovery of the
 cause of tile repeated absence ofthe of- ticer, and of the place where his inter- Iyiews with his dalcinea were had. some waggish friends resolved to play off handsome trick ali lis GA pense, which
 should deter him from repetition Of his amoroas visits. The officer, 1t ap-
 pears, rode very small horse of the
 pony kind, which he always left united.
 with the bridle rcius over his neck near the door, in orde. so mount and ride off without delay, when the. business Of Icourtlng and kissing was over; and the
 horse always remained until backed by the owner, without attempting change
 his position. On q certain yer, dark might, when the officer had, is usual,
 gone to payhis deyoirs of his affections, and was enjoying the approving smiles
 of the lovely fair one; his wagsish com panions went privately to the house where the officer was, took the briale, and saddle fromfhe horse, which they sent quietly aways placed the former on. the tail, and the latter on the back of very sober runlinatiye old COW, (with the erupper over her horns,) who stood peaeeabiy chewing itgg her e,id, near the the spot. Immediately thereafter, they re tired some distance from the house, and separating, raised loud cry of alarm,
 that the enemy lad landed, and were
 marching in full force into the village.
 On hearing the voice ofasarm, the pco- pie run out greatly excited and con- sternation entering every dwelling. found it's anwelcome way speedily into 1 the household temple where our official
 hero was worsEiping. Taking counsel l from his fears, and snatc1irg hasty. kiss. he started from the lady $ cham
 Der, and rushing rapidly down stairs. l shot out of doors with the velocity Of a
 musket ball, and owing 10 the darkness.
 not seeing the interesting change in the
 conformation in iilis nag, mounted hasti- l ly into the saddle, with his back towards
 the head ol the COW, and plunging his
 sharp spurs deeply into her sides, cau- scd her to bawl out with excessive pain. and she darted of in a gallant style. md
 in her best gaIsep made the camp. The 1 officer still plying his trnsty spurs and whip to the skin and bones ofihe snf
 fcring old animal, and with all his wine
 and love on board--fading himself hur-
 siea Eaa;as I-;icis wards, Illatigre ali his 1, u.iorts to advance, and hearing the re- peatcd bawlings of the tortured and
 frightened beast, imagined that he was
 carried off by magic, and roaring out
 most instiiy that the devil had got him,
 was carried in this state of perturba-
 ton into the very alignment of the camp.
 The courageous sen.ineis, nearing the
 noise, and imagining, no doubt, that
 Hannibal and his oxen were coming,
 discharged their pieces and fled as il l the devh had chased them, the alarm l guns were fired, the drums beatto arms 1 the officersielt their quarters and cried, turn out. turn oGt!, with all the strength of their lungs. The soldiers started l from theirsleeP as if a ghost had crossed
 their dreams-and the whole body run-
 ming, half naked, together, formed as Iquiek as possible ina gallant dishabillc,
 prepared to rcpel the terrible invader. l When'lo! the ludicrous sight soon pre- Isented itselfto their eyes, of the gallant
 officer. mounted on an old COW, with his 1 face towards her tail. and fhis amen