Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1831-01-13
From the n. York Constellation.
A COLLEGE JOKE

There Is something in the humdrum me-
/ notonous sort of life led by collegians, that
marvellodsly disposes them to wild frslcs
( and mIschlevous pranks. Imagine, for mo-
nsent. hundred or more boys, from town
and country. just let loose from school, and
transported from the Immediate eye of mas
ter to where they are comparatively their
own masteTs-imagine, too, the impotence
with which they submit to the restraints of
college discipline, the reckless character of
independence which they think it becomes
them to put on, and the spirit Of adventure
so common among promiscuous assemblage
Of boys, and you have some idea Of the
strange and fantastic forms in which that spi-
nj. breaks out and seeks to relieve the tadium
OF the study and lecture room.
"Why are boys sent to coiege?" was ask
cd OF an eccentric Greek professor Hugh!
hugh" growled the old man in a tone ppcu-
liar to hrmseit-"hughi to learn Greek. to be
rttre-but they learn more ofdepitry iearl"
Cynical as may seem this remark there is
too much Of truth in it, The head of col
iegian-l use the term purposelv instead Of
students fled with plar Of mischief, of
fener than with problems in mathematics
Little cares he far Greek roots or square
roots, il his pockets are only replenished with
the root of all evil But this is not always at
tASh3s as arc MS sUlfOS ~ ltlc
Beginning OF term, long before its conclusion
they begin to fail him. The iunumerable
expedients to which to raise the vind-hs
Is IN consequence driven, evince more Of IN
genulty than what lie world calls honesty
10 biH bis tailor or the tavern keeper-or
10 hambao2le coachee, is considered quite
an honorable exploit
shall never forget an adventure Of this
latter description. Our college was few
miles from town, whittier we usually repair
ed Of Saturday--ths weekly holiday HAY
ing passed the day here, was returning late
at night when | was joined by Bob Tandem,
classmate. Bob was a full blooded hair
Drained teliow--a species Of the fash fun.
and-irol'c senius-w,h just that dash Of adj
venture Ia his composition, that he would
leap toii-gatc bar on horse back rather than
pay the toll gatherer for opening it.
1t SO happened. on the present occasion.
however, that Bob, as well as myself, was
on foot, and we trudsed it eff together over
the long bridge. which, in our way home it
was necessary TO pass, singinga Justly song
TO the nooa-it was past ten o'clock-and
thrashing together our arms fer the double
purpose OF keeping up our spirits Il warmth
AS we approached the end of the bridge. a
countrymans wagon-the first vehicle we
bad met-was perceived coming towards US
81 have 1T" exclaimed Bob, ''that old fell
low shall carry US homel"
"But how will yeusquarethe expense?"
enGuired
t'Oh! let rae alone for that, answered
Bob, AT the same time elevating his voice
and addressing the countryman-
..iallol friend in the curriculum yonder,
Will you give US drive 10 college,"
"Not by dained sight, | guess!n replied
he of the wagen-'I should bring my butter
10 fine market, to turn rosna this time Of
night"
.tWen, well," said Bob, 81 hope no offence
- only meant to offer you trlile oil oo,
by which you might transfer dollar from
my pocket to your own"
"a dollarl did you say?" responded the
iarmer-"a dollar billl-woa Dobbin- woa
Dobbln-Woa-a woa-a-a whole dollar hilli,
AYE! whole dollar bill, if you will sci us
down at college"
"Ihen l'ra the man for your money!-jump
IN, jump in!"
So saying the old farmer Immediately rur.
ned about his horse, and in a few moments
was conveying us to the place of our desti.
hal'en-a good two miles or more from fha I
whence we Started. The whole affair was
tae result OF a thought, no sooner Conceived
tnan executed Without the slightest suspi-
cloh tbat my companion meant 10 practise a
poAe upon The farmer, | had unwittiBel,
ha"s niyseh party TO the transaction. Agy
V"a pocNe's were completely drained-the
iast uoiiar OF my quarterly allowance bae
been s'aked and iosi at the billiard room he
fore lCd town. As for Bob,s funds 80
ment's rejection told me they were eo,,-,ll,
aS low, or he never would have footed !, rro,,
town 50 cold night How we were 10 ma,