Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1831-05-03

after the Ceath OF MS wife. was Sch5S
of the blessed comfort she had been to him, that
he determined never to give any other woman
an opportunity Of obliterating the happy recolec-
ton.
He settles at Crotche, Castle. With his
rustic neighbors he was of course, Immediately
and necessarily 'squire-'Sqairc Crotchet OF
the castle; and he seemed to himself to settle
down as naturally into an English country gen.
tleman, as If his parentage had been as innocent
of both Scotland and Jerusalem as his education
was Of Rome and Athens. But as, though you
expel nature with pitchfork, she will yet always
come back, he could not become, like "a true-eOrn
English squire, part and parcel ofthe barley-gv-
ing earth-he could not find in game-bagsing,
poachersh0Oting, tresspasser- pounding, footpath-
stopping, common enclosing, rack-rentins, and
and all the other liberal pursuits and Pastmes
which make a country gentleman an ornament to
the world, and blessing to the poor-he could
not find in these valuable and amiabe occupa-
tons, and in corresponding range OF ideas, near
ly commensurate with that Of the Great King
Nebuchadnez2ar when he was turned out to
grass-he could not find in this great variety of
useful action, and vast field of comprehensive
thought, modes of filing up his time that accord
ed with his Caledonian instinct. The Unborn love
Of disputation. which the excitements and engage
forth thro' the calmer surface of a rural life. He
grew as fain as Captain Jamy. 'toh hear some ar
gument betwixt any tway:' and being very hos
pitable ia his establishment, and liberal in his in
vitations, a numerous detachment from the all
vance guard Of the march Of intellect, often march
ed down to Crochet Castle"
We humbly submit the following passage to
the p, esent Lord Chancellor's consideration, be-
Ing sure that he, who can use giants strength
in Haseating others, viii enjoy these palpable
hits at himself:
'.'God bless my soul, Sir!' exclaimed the
Rev. DR.. FOliott, bur 8 one fine May morning.
into the breakfast ro6lIB&t Crochet Castle; |
am out of all patience with this march of mind.
Here has my house been nearly burnt down, BY
my cook taking it into her head TO study hydro
states, in sixpenny tract, published by the
Steam Intellect Society, written by learned
friend, who is for doing all the worlds business
as well as his own, and is equally we'll qualified
to handle every branch of human knowledge
have great abomination of this learned friend
AS author, lawyer, and politician, he is .rifor-
mis-, like Hecate; and in every one of these three
forms he is bifrUns, like Janus-the tru&2Alr.
Facing -both-ways, of Vanity Fair. My cook
must read this rubbish in bed; and as might ma
turaily be expected, she dropped suddenly fast
tains in blaze. Luckily, the foOtman went
into the room at the mcment, in time to tear
down the curtains and throw them into the chin
ney; and pitcher of water on her night-cap cx-
ting uished her wick.
Lord BOssnOwl-But, sir, by the by, how came
your footman to be going into your cooks rooms
1t was very Presidential. to be sure, but
Dr. Folliott-Sir, as good came Of it, shut
my eyes, and asked no questions. | suppose he
was going to study hydrostatics, and he found
himself under the necessity Of practising hydrau-
lies.
Mr. Firetamp-sir, you seem to make very
light Of science.
Dr Foliott-Yes, sir, such science az the
learned friend deals in-every thing for every
body, science for all, Schools for all, rhetoric
for all, law for all, physic for all, words for all,
and sense for none. l say, sir, law for lawyers.
and cookery for cooks; and | wish the learned
friend, for all his life, cook that will pass her
time in studying his works; then every dinner
he sits down to at home, he will sit on the stool
of repentance.
Lord Bossnowl-Now really that would be too
severe: my cook should read nothing but Ude.
DR.. Folliott-NO, sir! let Ude and the learn
ell friend single fowls togther; let both avaunt
from my kitchen. Ude says an elegant supper
may Uc gwen VIII Sailu"lCHcS. HO'cSCO TCeTeHS.
An elegant supper! Di meiora pits! M Ude
for me. Convisiality went out with punch and
suppers. l cherish their memory. sup when
can, but net upon sandwiches. TO offer me a
sandwich when an looking for supper, Is TO
add insult to injury. Let the learned friend and
the modern Athenians sup upon sandwiches"
La conversation of later date.
DIR. Follott-Well, Mr.. Mac Quedy, it is
now some weeks since we have met: how goes
on the march of mind?
Mr.. Mae Quedy-Nay, sir, think you may
see 1t with your own eyes.
DIR. Folliott-Sir, l have seen it much to nv
discontinue. 1t has marched into my rickyard.
and set my stacks on fire, with chemical materi-
ais most scientifically compounded. 1t has
marched up to the door of my vcarage, hun
dred and fifty strong; ordered me TO surrender
half my tithes, consumed all the provisions Ihad
provided for my audit feast, and drank up my
old October. 1t has marched in through my back
parlor shutters, and out again with my silver
spoons in the dead of the night. The policeman
who has been down TO examine. says my house
has been broken open on the most scientific prin-
clpes. All tins comes Of education.
MIR. Mac Quedy-I rather thiuk it comes of