Constitutional Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1824-1832, 1831-01-11
HINGE canere incipiam "

HINGE canere ncipam
ARGUMENT
ir,nia husbandry and that depic,cd bv Vrqii %,
and manner of driving -ecor-n,,,ss
-Pastures-hanows, ssirners, S~-crab grass-shenbe
sheeP- -foS"eS--runawavS wolvcs-hounds milk IN
'ds-ience aton-acdress tn arator
allow Ploushin---clOver gypsum cowtai-Sr Humph
Wear -clodhoppers overseers-hirinp da
ois,tnuon ct labour-grubbing- effects of leav
mps-oid fences-hogs Se &c &c
i slug the tillage old Virginia knows
Wh'ch cheats with hope the husbandnau who sows;
Not such as Marc sung in deathless strains
10 piping shepherds and Italian swans
w TN crops immense Jay, here erer crarES.,
me, ne wheat comes always badly from the stacks
he corn falls ever most immensely" short
vi vague conjecture. of false report;
NO trei fed buHocks drag the gittering plough
But half staIvd horses and the Lord knows howl
lneir shoulders thafed by names of naked wood
III downward streams regardlessly the blood;
Urged on necessarily by laundering whips
Of shouting negroes with their hap's und oseD,s
no well fed bullocks-no. hut stubborn mules
Well mach'd in vilainy with him who rules
or as her SIDES resound, Just heaven! with sticks
They OFT let ly the most tremendous kIcks.
fho' Pnmpey punch them, and tho C,sa, cure.
1t serves no purpose but to make them worse
ao',ie r'encnmanT said-"w nd YOU convince fool
AS soon go Kick in stable with your mule
Sen'entious wit,-how forciblei-hov true,
uau0 the picture which once he drew
No well fed bulocks-but the bare boned ox
That suit ring martyr to inhuman knocks
condemned, tho pining with the holLo1r horn
10 exist on fodder, but to ca, no corn
fiat
The snff'rer snks-tthe creature 1cns too G1t,,4
No smiling pastures spread inviting here
But dry, hot fields on ev'ry side appear
a sultry scene, dismal waste. alas,
Where mans great object is to kill the grass
rms tho attacked with never ending blows
From harrows, SWIMMERS, and from Gathering hoes,
VIII rise abhorrent on the farmers view
Like the iam'd monster which Alcdes slew
Grab grass deracinate and turn your backs
II starts like Hydra from repeated whacks
No shepherds tune their reeds TO idle rhyme
For none have leisure for such waste of time:
In truth the sheep by nn one here wach'd
Save rogues, who suffer if they can be catch'd;
Hound-wolf-or runaway, he only deals
In closely DIGGING at their nimbe heels
Alas poor locks! Arcadia's pastoral ground,
Nor "Ihyrne v nor "CytiSuS,'' can here he found:
"Distcnded udders''3 meier approach the pail
But only udders which fail
Cows bagless -poor-protuheran, in joints
Yield milk in spoonfnlls, at most in pints
What Meh9us, or what Tityrus too,
Could make rich cheese from milk of azure hue?
Drawn ny Miss Blackamoor at early morn
From things so famtSf'd that theg'Ue ttra'd to horn
No "salowsf blossom on the neighbonng hedee"-
we use but fence rails which are split by wedge,
Or watn9s dry, unsOuSht by "Hybla'S bees
Which can't suck honey from dead limbs of trees
Oh Muse-but pshaw!-thats stael-a Joke
What Muse pry;hee, should here iuv0ke9
Those maids OF Pndns. IN this Christian land.
Should not he called on for helping hand;
All! sooner call 10 aid the rustic lay
Chiefs grown conspicuous in this farming day-
Who rule in clubs and stately there preside
And mount their hobbies for a tedious ride:
Who write long essays in a style confused.
Themselves more culpable than those abused:
Those sage Trlptolemi who WELD the pen,
10 show our fathers were misguided men;
Far, far inferior, iiieiT ss:se. sons
Mere Cloths and Vandasl or like barb'rous Hun,
Whose sway brought ruin on the farest plains
These lacking mercy and those lacking bra ms
Come then Ara'ors of the modern school,
And ne benignant TO a rhvmiug fool:
Himself farmer of that iegs,
WI T,F the goose 10 get the golden eggs
That stupid, blind, shOrr-sighted band,
Who skim the surface and undo the land:
Who clover thirsty soil,
For wight grows not To reward their toll
Who strew gypsum, but absuTdly rail,
and swear tits nothing TO the old cowtai
These are their foilies-these their crying suns,
Despite the pamphlet of enthusiast Binns;
own the charge and cry myself peccavi:
read but follow not, SIR Humphrey Davy
Arise Ciodhoppers! begins tine year,
Attend the business which demands YOUR care
Der seers all! whom Tavlor dnhs tine PRIESTS /a)
Of sad Distinctions, mount your bo5-tail'd beasts,
Kept always ia when other mays poor,
Tho fed on nothing from the corn house floor (j)
'PIs hiring day-and to each county court
Those who have negroes will this morn resort
Bid. boldly Did aud stretch your eager threats,
O'erbd your rivals, and then give your notes;
Fear not the consequence when months roll DER,
You've Pass'd your bonds think of them no more;
When that is done, Yirginians' debts are paid
Till courts of justice lend their tedious aid.
High minded men disdan these petty rubs,
They leave such settlements to legal scrubs:
Sknflints alone are ever punctual found.
And take their bonds IN at the time they're bouud
This dOne--Tetum to- your respective homes
Prepare your corn fields ere the spring lime comes,
Make tUsnches grub and feiLoiOs WELD the axe.
Watch we'll the former, for they often leave
The stump, nsidious in the soil they ceave,
And when the plough, at some distant day,
InCautious strlkes-O, every thing gives way:
Share-beam-aud chains-and exc the back,baaGs too,
Add Sambo stagsers he utters whew!
WELD well the axe, and fell the growing trees,
Ope wide the corn field to the cooling breeze
Nausht more contributes than the air. ween,
To keep your corn stalks Of healIhful green.
Go round your fences and adjust the rails,
Insert new pieces where the old one fails;
Stop all the hog holes, lest the treacherous snout
Should hnd these Pass-ways 10 your corn field
Too many hope by aid Of vclpng dogs,
10 guard the field from internal hogs -
They leave their fences in a unsound
Then comes the hog and gruniS them to the groundi
They pant-Test from their lsbors-sieep--
These curst marauders through the hog holes creep
Led on, perhaps, by gigantic boar,
What havoc spread they while the laborers
The morning breaks -what work for them hat morn,
The hoss!-ihe hogs!-thc hogs in the corn! O.
A. then and there burrying one and all,
Like Byr3ns picture Of the BRUSSELS bali IN
Men, dogs. and hogs, in confused pell mel,
And many dismal squea and many deaGsniBs veil:
Some dog soon fasieus some lucE.ass car,
Awhile hangs growing then lets 60 with fear;
Anon me seiZes on his maugled prey
The Parthian wheels and fghts and flies away
Hold him! and hold him! makes the welkin ring
While round his head the rocks and brckbats sing
At length the battle ends-the routed swine
Have reachd tile RubiCon, the ueighb'Tiuz line
away they 90, with many Joyous suc.l,
Tho master curses, but It's Sambo's Sport.
Oh dreadful scenes! renewed perhaps next day,
"p"orum Pnrf l'ii' as every one may say.
Hiatus MAXINE dedendus.
Immense rpPeIunt horrea messss.-JUg.
Montague believe
The common excuse Of the Buekskin for the death Of
occosloncd bV stsrvation
bis VENT ad muIc,Tam, bin0s olt uberc nafus.
Pln2nH e. inerat'c prrue5ctur caseus u.bi.
Vicino an limie sepes
Hybpis aDihus dogcn depssta saI.cti
o. -