Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1831-12-01
POLITENESS.

ever known were tnoSc VINO were scru-
puIous in paying to each other thou
sand minute attentions, generally thought
too trihing to be of any Importance; and
yet on these very trifles depended their
continued love for each other. a birth
day present, accompanied with kind
look or word-rcscrving for each other
the most luxurious fruit, or the most com
iur;ahlc chair--nay, even the habit Of al
ways saying, "Will you have the good
ncssi' aud "Thank you''--al these
seemingly trivial things have gre It ct-
feet on domestic felicity, and on the man
ncrs of children. Early habits ofprcfcr-
ring others TO ourselves are very impor-
tant A child should always be taught
To give away the largest slice of his APP
pie or his cake, and to take his whistle
immediately from his mouth, if sick
inlc brother is anxious for it. i believe
the easy and natural politeness of the
French may in great measure be at
hibutrd to their remarkable care in form
ing such early habits of sclf-denial.
1t is n graceful habit for children to
say to each other, evil you have the
goodness, and 81 thank You" do
not like to see prim artificial children;
there are few things dislike so much as
n miniature beau or belle. But the hab
it of good manners by no means implies
ailec,atlon or restraint. II is quite as ca
sy to say, "plcase give me piece of
pie" as to say, 81 want piece Of pie"
The idea that politeness would render
social lie too stiH and restrained, springs
from false estimate of polteness. True
politeness is perfect ease and freedom
1t simply consists in treating others just
as you love to be treated yourself A
person who acts from this principle, will
always be said to have "swect pretty
ways with her" 1t is of some consc-
qucncc that your daughter should know
how to enter and leave a room graceful
y; but it is Of prodigiously more consc-I
qucnce that she should he in the habit of
avoiding whatever is offensive or disgust
ing to others, and Of always prelerring
their pleasure to her own. IL she has
the last, Il very little intercourse with the
world will teach her the first
! As far as is consistent with your situa
ton and duties, early accustom your chill
drcn to an intercourse with strangers.
have seen young persons who were re-
spccttul and polite at home, seized with
ii most unbeconing bashtulness, as soon
as a guest entered. To avoid this evil,
allow children to accompany you as often
as possible, to make calls and social Wis
its Occasional interviews with intclli-
gent and cultivated individuals, have o
great influence on carly character and
manner, particularly if parents evidently
place high value upon acquaintances
Of that description. have known the
destiny of whole family changed for
the better, by the friendship of its mem
bcrs with person of superior advantages
and correct principles.
But il must be remembered that a call
or social visit may be made almost as
injurious as party, if children are en-
gagged in showing off, or constantly ha-
bituated to hearing themselves talked a
bout. Much as the failing has been OBJ
served and laughed at, it IS still common
for mothers to talk too much about their
children. The weariness with which
strangers listen to such domestic accounts,
is slight evil compared with the mis-
chief done to children, by inducing
them to think themselves of So much i'm
Portance. They should never be taught
to consider except at home, in the bo-
som of their own families. i
Nothing tends to foster the genuine
politeness, which springs from good feel.
ing, so much as scrupulous attention to
the aged.
1t is considered sign OF a good heart
to love little children; think spontaneous
kindness for the aged is much better
proof have seen gentlemen, who, in
mixed companies, always bestowed the
largest share of attention upon the old &
neglected Had beloved daughter,
| would choose such man for her hus-