Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1831-04-28

JUST aoVut seiZilg DIS hat and bidding her a.
dleu forever.
He was so impatient for the wedding that
ne could hardly wait for the wedding clothes,
wblch we don't SO much wonder at, as his
bride was charming creature He was i'm.
patieat because the clergyman was FIVE mi
nutes behind his time; he was still more i'm
patient because the bride and her maid. were
not quite ready at the moment, and he was
so out of all patience with the length of The
ceremony that he answered sundry questions
before they were asked. Never man vas SO
miserable at the Contamination of his happi
ness, II fell TO his lot at supper 10 cut Up a
tough goose, and he was three or four times
on the point OF throwing at the head of the
Old gentleman, his honored father. in law, fer
giving bum such diabolical task.
Inc parents saw all this; but as he was
rich, they flattered themselves they had Sc
cured the happiness of their daughter; the
ofide saw nothing of it, as in duty bound
ohe was IN love, and near sighted.
When Mr. iiby set up an establishment his
trouble increased ten fold, and he got out OF
patience ten times oftener than ever. One
morning, about month or Whereabouts after
taking possession OF his BRIDE and his house,
he rang the bell for servant, and before the
sound could reach the lower regions, repeat
ca IL win an expression of impatience at the
iazine,s of the fellow.
ale has not had time to come" said his
wife, IN her mlld, dilatory way.
"Not tmeP | could have gone 10 the gar
ret and back again!,'
.''lndeed you are m stake n, my dear-havc
little patience--here he comes
Mr.. lrhy gave him violent rebuke for be-
Ing SO long answering The bell
You sent me on an eirand, sir" repli-
ed he.
so you did. my dear-now recolect,"
said Mrs Irby
Mr.. Irby said nothing, but he was out of
all patience, first with himself for not recol-
lecting having sent the man away; secondly
with the man for deprying him OF so excel
lent an apology for being out of patience; and
thirdly with Mrs. Irby for not being cut Of
patience in the least
Upon my soul, madam, you are enough
to provoke stone"
'.How SO, my dear?" said she, smiling.
"fou have the patience Of Job"
Mrs. lrby had it just on tip OF her tongue
TO say she wished she could return the Gem
pliment, but we record it as a modern mira
Gle that she resisted the temptation, and en-
~ said, making low courtesy at the same
time,
81 thank for the compliment, my dear"
"Hsm!" quoth MIR irby, and felt quite
provoked at his wife lorfaving so much more
patience than himself.
On another occasion Mr. Irby fell into a
great passion because his wife could not i'm
media'eIy frd the key Of drawer when he
wantcdt
POUNDS, madam" cried he, "you never
can find any thing when want it, | believe
hall your llle has been spent IN looking Tor
keys"
Mrs. Irby said nothing, but continued the
search, while her husband was iretling away
his soul and ultering irritating reflections
He was just going to break the lock when the
lady all at once exclaimed,
20 now | recollect--you have it, my Gear
i gave il to you yesterday
He denied it at first, and could not be per
suaded TO put his hand in his pocket TO see III
it was there. lie was sufe-posilive, it was
not. Mrs lrby approached him with an ir
resistble smile, put Der baDd into his waist
coat pocket and drew out the Identical key
She did not laugh, she did not give IA look OF
triumph but went and sat down TO her em-
ployn.ent.
My DEAR" at length she said, 'why don't
you open The drawer, now you have the
key"
20, it's no cousequence-it will do just as
well some other time"
Mrs. Irby was tempted by the evil one TO
tell her husband it was hardly worth while to
get SO out OF patience about a matter of no
consequence--but she was a modclof discre. |
ton, and said not another word.
This was exceedingly provoking. Half
the time Mr.. lrby had nobody TO dispute with
about nothing, and it is but dull business 10
be angry alone. lie made sivers attempts |
to put his wife out eli patience, but all in vain,
she neither joined in his anger against others,
nor gave hun occasion 10 be angry with her !
self.
POUNDS" said he TO himself, 81 believe
the devil is in the woman," and he get out
of all patience because he could not put his
wife out of patience The truths, she made !
him ashamed of himself, and his maynard
disposition took offence al self reproaeb. In |
stead of putting him on correcting his faults, |
it only made him the more testy and impa |
tent :,
Being of domestic turn. he generally
staid al home almost all the day--aHd the |
man who keeps house without any business
of his own. is pretty certain to interfere IN
the just prerogatves Of his wife. Mr.. irby
was always prying about, seeing causes OF
discomfort and self torment If he detected
cob web hanging from the ceiling, he got
out of patience with his wife, his servants
the spiders, and himself He could not rest
ill he had made an uproar IN the house, and
made himself sore about it.
By degrees he persuaded himself there