Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1831-03-17
From the Bait. Minerva and Saturday Post.
SIMON SHOCKS;
oR. sEEKINe AN oFFlcE.

81 reckon as how you're frem the Eastern
Shore, haint yeu?n inquired the groom, as
he took the reus Of a travellers mare, the
rider of which had Just dismounted, s was
shaking the mud from pair of leggipgs at
the doer of tavern. sNour critter looks
for all the world as ir che hadn't had netting
to eat for month Of Sundays--but, she II
have good quarters now-that. ! tell yeu.
Will yoa have her curried down, Sir9'
"lou dent know your duty--do youp" re-
sponded the traveller, locking as if he knew
a thing or two Of an ostler's profession
take the critter TO the stable, let her cool
down might or SO, and arter she's done
swelling, gin her little chopped oats and
bran, and irite Of water"
"May be you're from the city mlstcr2n IN
quired the ostlcr "No | amt neilher--I
came farther nor that"
eWell now-I thought you were from Al
legbany county; you look like up country"
II tell you what, stranger answered tho
traveller, drawing himself up and looking
big-"there's many place for man to
come from; and I'm thinking II mought look
q leetie better for one Of your profession TO
look to the hoise, and net the rider"
al wonder what Office he's arter.n mutter-
ed the groom to himself as he led the ghost
" Jade round to the stable.
Simon Snooks, for such was the Eame Of
the traveller just alluded to, was tall, raw
boned man, such an one rs uncle Ben would
compare TO streak Of lightning drawn out
through wire plate a snail head sunken
between pair oil broad shoulders, fists at the
extremes OF his arms like gourds hanging an
dead vine, long sandy hair, crooked nose.
and small grey eyes, were the characters
ties Of his outward mar; his internal qualiil-
cations will be more fully exposed IN the Sc
quel. His csat and pantaloens were oil homo
spun cloth, none the better for wear, and his
head aud body protected from the blsakness
of the weather, by large bear skin cap and
striped blanket turned by tailor lato
sreatcoat. Whence Simon came or what
was his business, | am nat yet prepared TO
say, nobody noticed him particularly when
he entered the bar room, for though the room
was pretty we'll crowded with all sorts and
sizes, yet, every one appeared to be SO In
tenty bent upon his own business that one
scarcely noticed the other. Sinen made his
way towards the fireplace. seated HIM
self. and throwing his legs UP against the
chimney piece, composedly took from his
pocket huge lump Of tobacco which he was
about putting to his mouth, when he obssr-
we'd al the other end of the room a rather
genteel- looking parsonage in close converse
ton with a shabby genteel man. "ill bet nay
dog Switch, that that ere mans member OF
the house, -muttersd he half TO himself; 81
rising he pushed bis way through the crowd,
and with a bow that might have shamed
Russian bear, xclaimcd-"Misier, my
names Simon Snooks--and thinks as how
you might chew tobacco, and 50, having
some rail ginger head, jist stepped ever
here to offer you some" The gentleman po-
litely declined the offer Of Simsn, while the
genteel shabby gentleman cast on him a look
which seemed to say, "Sir, you importune
us" Simon resumed his seat, but detcrmin-
ed to keep an eye upon the member, for ha
knew, well enough that it was "a good thing
to have friend at court"
Simon's conduct in the bar room began to
excite suspicion--some pronounced his name
black legs, others believed him to he kea-
lucky horse dealer, while many agreed that
he was tobacco planter, who wished TO get
off his unsold stock. However, il was the
general belief that he was an original, be bis
what it might, and this very belief caused
him to be the centrc of attraction. lie fre.
quently gave preof positive that he was
practitioner at the bar, though totally ignorant
of the law, for he never failed TO call gin
coctal, ga writ OF fiery faees But few OF
that class Of beings who have "erudItisn"
written upon their fronts escaped his netlce;
he was ever sure Of picking them out from
the dense mass that surrounded him, offering
the chosen ones glass or quid, as c., cum
stances permitted. "Who is hc?"-was the
question, and "Simon Snooks" was the an
swer. "But who's Simon Sa--SSs?'' there
was the rub-no OPS presumed to say who
or what SiDea onooks was.
Days weeks passed, and Simon's eccen-
trcity began 10 attract universal attention.
there was not genieel locking man that ho-
vered around the state house but was oblig-
ed to acknowledge his bounty at the bar
His bill ran up to frightfal amount, and
his crtitcr had iattened in the stable, again
the question was asked-tchO aud ,ol,dt is he?
No one was prepared FOR an ans~er--the
landlord began TO be alarmed, the bar keep
er compaiacd, and the ostlcr swore that the
cyi!ter had got so saucy OH her good living,
that nothing but mush and milk would salts.
fly her. Simon still stuck to the members"
as he called all gentselfpeeple, 81 many but
ten-hole was wern TO the thread by his fore
finger.
One day thore was an unusual collection
of people in the bar-room of the tavern, en-
account of some appointments TO be made
by the newly elected executive and council.
Applicants fer offices OF every description
were seen lowering about like hungry carri-
on. crows, ready to dart upsn the first mem
Der that should be so unfortunate as to throw
Al 4 4