Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1831-05-03

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reed rooted mp forever from the field OF pubic
delusien.
Mr.. Cro,chet-I suppose, doctor, you 90 not
like to see great reformer III oi1ce; yoa are
afraid for your vested interests. ~
Dr.. Folliott-NOt l, indeed. SIT; my vested ih'
terests are very safe from all such reformers as
the learned friend. vaticinate what VIII De
the upshot of all his schemes Of reform lie VIII
make sneech of seven hours duration, and this
will be its quintessenc-that, seeing the exceed
ing difficulty of putin. salt on the birds tail, 1t
would be expedient to consider the best method OF
throwing dust into the birds eyes.
The discussion between DIR. Follio't and MIR.
Mac Quedy is very amusing.
CDR. Foliott.-Sir. say every nation has
some eximious virtue; and your country Is pre-
eminent in the glory of fish for breakfast we
have much to learn from you IN that line. at any
rate.
MIR. Mac Quedy-And in many others. SIT,
believe. Morals and metaphysics, politics and
political economy, the wav to make the most OF
all the notifications of smoke; steam, gas, and
paper currency; you have all these TO learn from
us; in short, all the arts and sciences. We are
the modern Athenians.
DR.. Folliott-I. for one, sir, am content to
learn nothing from you bnt the art and science
Of fish for breakfast. Be content. sir, o'riva
the B,entians, whose redeeming virtue was IN hsh,
touching which point you may consult Aiisiopha-
mes and his scholiast in the passage of Lysistra-
IA. and leave the name of Athenians to thnse who
have sense of the beautiful, and perception Of
metrical quantity.
Mr. Mac Quedy-Then, sir, presume you
set no value on the right principles o! rent, pro-
fit, wages, and currency?
DR.. Folliott-Ny principles, sir, in these things
are, to take as much as can get, md 10 Fay no
more than can help These are ever man's
princi.'es. whether they he the right principles
or no. farre, Sir, is political eeo"onF in nat
she'll.
"Mr. Mac Qucdy-A literary supper in sweet
Edinbroo' would cure you Of the prejudice you
seem to cherish against US.
DIR. Folliott-Weli, sIr,, well: there is cogen-
cy in good supper; good supper in these de.
generate days bespeaks good man; but much
more is wanted to make up an Atheniah Athe-
| mans, indeed! where is your theatre? who among
you has written a comedy? where is your attic
salt? which of YOU can tell who Jupiter's
great grandfather? or what metres will successive
" remain, if you take off the three first syabIes,
one by one, from pure antIspastic acataletlc te-
trameter? Now, sir, there are three questions
for you: theatrical NEUROLOGICAL, and metrical /;
to every one Of which an Athenian would give ali
answer that would lay me PROSTATE in my own
nothingness.
Mr.. Mac Quedy-IVell, sir, as to your metre
and your mythology, they may cen wait wee.
For your comedy, there is the Gentle Shepherd
Of the divine Allen Ramsay.
DR.. Foliot--I'he Gentle Shepherd. 1t is just
as much comedy as the book of job
Mr.. Mac Quedy-Wel, Sir, if none of US
have written a comedy, | cannot see that It is
any such great matter, any more than | can con-
lecture what business man can have at this time
of day with Jupiter's great grandfather.
DR.. Follot-The great business is, sir, that
you call yourselves Athenians, while you know
nothing that the Athenians thought worth know
ing. and dare not show your noses before the CT
vilized world in the practice of any one art in
which they were excellent Modern Athens,
sir! the assumption is persona! affront to every
man who has Sophocles in his library. will
thank you for an anchoyy."
Definition Of laughter:--
Lord Bossnowl-I hope, if am to lie of
the party, our ship is not to be the ship of fools:
lie hel
DR.. Fulliott-If you are one of the party, sir,
it most assuredly will not; Ha. hal
Lord Bossnow-Pray, sir, what do you mean
by Ha! ha!!
DR.. Enthusiastically, sir, what you mean
bv He. he.
Mr.. Mac Quedy -You need not dispute about
terms; they are two modes of expressing merri-
ment, with or without reason; reason being in no
way essential to mirh. No man should ask ano-
Their whv he laughs, or at what. seeing that he
does not always know, and that. if he does, he
is not responsible agent. Laughter is an in
voluntary action of certain muscles, developed
in the human species by the progress of civiliza-
ton. The savage never laughs.
DR.. Foliott-No, sir, he has nothing to laugh
at. Give him Modern Athens, the slearned friend
and the Steam Intellect Society. They will de,
velope his muscles"
Cause of liking Society
Lord Bossnowl at any time preferred ..any
company 10 his own. He thought 1t very sinsu-
lar that 50 agreeable person as he held himself
to be to others should be so exceedingly iresome
to himself; he did not attempt to investigate the
cause Of this phenomenon. but was contented
with acting on his knowledge of the fact, and !.
giving himself as little Of his own private socie-
ty as possible"
Two short, but true passages:-
Decent families; ay, decent is the distinc-
ton from respectable. Respectable means rich,