Litchfield enquirer., 1831-03-31


Cold OSmtsrk"- gentleman not long
since was one evening gallanting home ie-
male divinity, whose age was on the wrong
side of forty, and whose notions of propri-
ety we're distressingly nice and maidenly
50 eamish; much rain had fallen, and arri-
wing at deep puddle of water, his polite
ems prompted him to encircle the waist OF
his fair one, and hoist her over; she was
highly indignant at his presumption land de-
handed him to set her down Immediately;
ne thing 10th 10 rid himself of such aload of
mortality, (she was not that light and airy
kind Of which the poets sing,) he planted
her in the mud puddle, and left her to crawl
out when convenient and get home at her
cisure.-North0mptOn Courier.
During the late war with Great Britain,
when the water, at every spring thaw, set
tied at the junction of Cornhill and Court
street, so as to render passing with dry feet
absolutely impracticable) dasfing belle,
who is now good wife and an affectionate
mother, found her progress suddenly arres-
ted as she passed down Court street, by a
flood which prevented her passage to the
opposite sidewalk. She paused to con-
slider her situation, and was anxiously look
ing toward the desired haven, when an hon
est Tar, with canvass hat and blue ribbon
bearing the name of the "U. S. Frigate
Constitution" bore up and reconnoitered
her position. Without any apology, or
land-lubberly ceremony, he encircled her
waist with his muscular arm, and wading
knee deep through the wafer, landed Lady
Sensitive on the opposite shore. More
vexed than grateful, our belle curled her
pretty lip and said, You are an impudent
fellow, SIR Delay that, my dear ! said
Jack, by the powers, TIL make all fast a
gain.' Suiting the action TO the word, he
lifted,her the second time, and re-fording
the stream, placed her safely again where
he first found her, observing with good ma
tured laugh, AN ye love your mornings
so well, hearty, smoke my pinnacle but you
may lay anchored there TO eternity"
The above is "true BILL" The Lady
has grown wiser and less sensitive since
this lecture upon squeamishness was read
to her, and now often amuses her friends
by relating the anecdote.---B0ston Trans.
AQuests0n ANSWERED IA person asked
Zeno the philosopher, if wise men evel
fail in love. His answer was, s" If ais
men do not fall in love. beautiful womer
must be very unfortunate" sts..s
Fai, PLay.-Mr. Curran, who was a
very small man, having dispute with a
brothericounsel, who was very stout one,
in which words ran high ON both sides, cal
led him out.-The other however objected
For said he, you are so little that might
fire at you dozen times without hitting
whereas the chance is, that you would
shoot me at the first fire. Upon my con.
science, that's true!' cried Curran, bu,
to convince you that don't wish to take
any advantage, you may chalk.my size up
on your body, and hits out Of the ring shall
60 for nothing 1' ..
4sSorov for the Dead.-A rich farmer,
who happened to be bachelor, and who
also happened to die without will, was
carried to the place of interment across
some portion of his farm, and through
rye field where the deceased had kept o.
pen narrow cart path for the convenience
ofhis agricultural pursuits. As the fdncr-
al procession, consisting Of brothers, their
wives and children, and few neighbors,
approached the field, one Of the surviving
brothers cried out to the ompany-Don't
break down that are rye there, for no,c
brother Joe Is dead, 1t ,oill fall to us.-New
Bedford Gaz.
Go.oec-c,,t ,o,d 1T.7l SAWC