Litchfield enquirer., 1831-09-08
THE WHISPERS.

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 Charles and Charlotte were young per- sons ofhigIr fashion, and inexpressibly ugly without knowing it. At times, perhaps, suspicious of the sort intruded themselves; l; but as both were of happy tempers and moral conduct, they made it principle to banish all ideas which might make them dissatisfied with their lot. Besides, the most ordinary mortals still possess some fa- vorite feature, or peculiar trait, upon which they found hope of admiration. So it was with Charlotte and Charles-the one had most delicate eyebrows, and the other the most luxuriant whskers. The lady, therefore, always barred her misshapen forehead, in order to show her eyebrows, and thus looked ten times uglier while the gentleman suffered his whiskers to flourish so ontrageously, that his appear ance became alarming.
 The first time this amiable couple saw each other was one night at the opera. Charles stood in Pops Alley; Charlotte sat in lower box; Charles stared at her with wondered how any la- dy could expose such forehead for the sake of displaying an arched eyebrow. She, too, stared at Charles with amaze meDt-she could not conceive any young gentleman so weak as to show off the semb- lance of human being, merely because his cheeks were prolific with superAuous hair. They caught each other gazing, but each mistook the cause both thought it arose from admiration at their respective embellishments and every moment there- fore, their mutua. glances became more soft and expressive. Charlotte began to think that the whiskers were not so very frightful 1; and Charles fairly confessed that no sacrifice of forehead could be too great for such praiseworthy eyebrows.
 This gazing affair had now been renew ed, on every feasible occasion, upwards of month. Itwas delightful recreation to both parties, for neither had ever before experienced the transport that results from being stared tenderly out of countenance. At length an opportunity of introduction occurred-they addressed each other with indescribable tumults of soul, and said things which only wanted handsome mouths to render them infinitely sweet. But love laughs when ugliness grows romantic.
 Another month saw their conrtship at its height; and the whiskers, which had done so much, were now larger than ever. Peo- pie endowed with regular features may be at loss to conceive how persons who are perfect frights can bandy physiognomical compliments but nothing easier and, in fact Charles had managed the matter SO well, that Charlotte began to consider her. seIt capable of captivating much handsom- CT men than he. A fortune for life to her about this time confirmed her in the suppo- sltion; as a charming fellow, without a slxpence, or even a beard, laid immediate siege to her heart. In short, he carried it and she determined to break with Charles. Being however ofa humane disposition, she thought quarrel would be by far the most decent and amicable manner of softening down the injury she was about to do him. One day, therefore, while he sat by her side saying the finest things in nature, and looking hideously enamoured, she told him that men were decei,ful creatures, and that she must call upon him for some incontro- vertible proof of his regard, before she could consent to surrender her liberties.
 Name sacrifice, or an enterpriseupon earth." cried he, starting up, '' and I fly this instant to perform it. Shall I scale mount Etna, and dive for Empedocles, slip perl Shall swim the Hellespont? Shall bring you fossil elephant from the icy sea? Shall I--
 do not ask you to attempt any such preposterous undertakings" replied she, with the utmost coolness, {" only ask you to cut of your whiskers."
 My whskers, madam"
 "That is all, sir"
 "All! oh, heavens! divest myself of
 what first won your heart ?''
 I Sir, | consider your honor involved in your obedience.'
 'l "Then madam, farewell for ever; and , learn. that now-a-days, men of any preten. sions to fashion or conseouence take /; ? great deal less pains to retain their reputa ] ton than to preserve their whiskers.'
 Thus ended the loves of Charles an, ? Charlotte.- London paper.