Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-06-10
My CHRISTMAS DINNER.

DtsaDpOiataaeat of aa unfortunate Gentleman.
II was on the Goth Of December last that re-
cs;ved an invitation from my friend Mr.. Phiggins,
to din With him. il idark-iane, on Christmas
day. had several reasons for declining this
proposition. The first was, that MIR. p. makes
it, rule, at all these festivals, to empty the entire
contents of his counting house into his little di-
ming ~parlouv; and you Consequent. sit down
10 dine with six whIte-waistcoated clerks,
let loose upon a turkey. The second was that
an not sufficiently w~ell-read in cotton and sugar,
TO enter with any spirit into the subject OF CONVEX
sation. The third was, and is, that never drink
cape wine. But by far the most prevailing rea-
son remains to be told. | had been anticipating
for some days. and was hourly in the hope OF re-
ceiving an invitation to spend my Christmas day
in a most irresistible quarter. I was expecting
indeed. the felicity of eating plum pudding with
an angel; and on the strength of my imaginary
engagement, | returned a polite note to Mr.. P.
reducing him to the necessity Of advertising for
another candidate for cape and turkey.
The twenty-first came. Another invitation
~ dine with a regiment of roasJ-beef eaters at
Clauham. | declined this also, for the above rea-
son. and tor one other, Uiz: that, on dining there
ten Christmas DAYS ago, it was discovered on sit
tipp down, that one little accompaniment OF the
roast beef had been entirely overlooked. Would
II he belieyed?-but will not stay to mistify-I
merely mention the fact. They had forgotten the
horse radish!
The next day arrived, and with it a neat epis-
tie. sealed with violet colored wax, from Upper
Brook street. Dine with the ladies-at home
ON Christmas day.' Very tempting it is true;
bit not exactly the letter | was longing for. |
be. On however, to debate with m seif upon the
policy Of securing this bird IN the hand, instead
of waluus for the two that were sal hopping IA
bout the i n, when the consultation was sud
denly brought /, = o'osN nv prophetic view of
the portfolio Of drawings fresh from boarding
schOol-mOths aud roses on embossed paper;-
70 say nothing ofthe album, in which | stood en-
gagged to write an elegy on a Java sparrow, that
had been a favorite in the family for three days.
l rung for gilt-edged. pleaded a world OF polite
regret, and again declined.
The tweuty-third dawned; time was getting on
rather rapidly; but no card came. l began to
despair of any more invitations, and to repent of
INV ~refusals. Breakfast was hardly over howev-
or, when the servant brought up-not a letter.
bnt an aunt and a brace of cousins from Bays
water. They would listen to no excuse; c0nsan-
guinity required me, and Christmas was not my
own. Now nv cousins keep no albums; and they
are really as pretty as cousins can be; and when
violent hands, with white kid gloves, are laid on
one. it's sometimes difficult to effect an escape
with becoming elegance. | could not however
give up my darling hope of pleasanter prospect.
They fought with mein fifty engagements-that
pretended to have made. showed the Court
Guide, with ten INT obliterated-being those
of persons who had not asked me to mince-meat
and missletoe: and ultimately gained my cause
by ouartering the remains of an infectious fever
on the sensitive fears of my aunt. and by dividing
rheumatism and a sprained ANGLE between my
sympathetic cousins.
As soon as they were gone, l walked out, saun-
terinp involuntarily in the direction of. the only
house in which l felt l could spend a happy
Christmas. As | approached, a porter brought a
large hamper to the door. +" Apresent from the
country" thought |; yes, they do live at home,
thew must ask ne: they know that am in town"
Immediately afterwards a servant issued with a
letter; he took the nearest way to my lodgings,
and | hurried back by another street to receive
the so-much-wished- for invitation. | was IN a
stats of delirious delight.
arrived-but there was no letter, | sat down
to wait, in a spirit of calmer enjoyment than
he'd experienced for some days; and in less than