Litchfield enquirer., 1830-02-11
THE PHILOSOPHICAL APPLE WOMAN.
"My mind to me a kingdom is."

THE PHILOSOPHICAL APPLE WOMAN.
my mind to me kingdom is."
1t is nonsense to talk ofthe learned a.
being the only wise part humankind there
is many an unlettered fellow who can TURF
his wits to a better account than profeS.
: sor, while there are not few of the erudite
|. who have hardly wisdom enough 10 60 in
when it trains not that we are altogether
of Dogberry's opinion that, ito write and
read comes by nature but the truth is
that man may have shrewd noddle who
never figured among the knowing ones.
l was led inIO these reflections by con-
'emplating the other day, the philosophical
demeanor Of an ancient apple woman on
Long Wharf. This reflex of the Olden
days has kept her station there with her
vendibles of fruit and gingerbread, time
out of mind, and save her diurnal locomo-
tons at morning and evening, she is as
much part aud parcel Of the Boston
Pier as one of her posts. She is, in fact,
to all intents and purposes, an absolute FIX
ture. She owns five feet square Of the
side walk by prescription. Nobody thinks
of ordering her or her table out cf the way.
She is "a Sibyl, and keeps the rabble in
good manners with stirring spell as Mr..
Willis says. She is a Pythoness, and sits
upon her three legged stool as Oh Del
phc tripod. She has an absolute immu-
nifty from all vexations, rubs and crosses,
which are part Of the municipal economy.
Constables do not venture to be saucy to
her; truckmen dare uot jostle her hand
cartmen are mannerly, and auctioneers
are dumb in her presence.
"The Niobe of Nations, there she sits"
This venerable and philosophical female
will help you to her eatables with the same
air Of Indifference, whether you be ma
bob or newspaper editor,-wortha plum,
or out at the elbows. 1t is all the same to
her; she puts the Mayor on level with
a market boy, and makes no distinction be-
tween one who owns ships and one who
writes verses. What's Hecuba to her ?
She sells her apples and chesnuts, and he
who buys the oftenesi is the greatest man
in her eyes. believe she would not
bulge foot if President Jackson should
commence searching operation in per-
son, to rout all interlop;ng uaffickers in
nutmegs and sugar candy, too near those
purlieus which are under the special SUI
pervision If the Custom House.
She was talking with one Of our princi-
pal merchants, who stood on the side walk
near her; he was inunching an apple and
grumbling of hard times.
Terrible times, Mrs. Pippin, terrible
times /; people all failing; no money, don't
know what we are oil coming TO-
Terrible times, indeed, Mr.. Snatch
copper. Is that your new ship vondcr 2
Yes, but she has cost me a mOnstr0us
sum. have mortgagcd all my real estate.
and hired money TO build her
'That's an excellent plan, Mr.. Snatch
copper. Every man would not have shown
so much prudence
yes, yes, | am obliged 10 pay an enor-
nous interest for the money; but then
expect the voyage will bring me in at least
fifty per cent
Really, Sir, that is magnificent pros
pcci, and when you have pocketed all this
profit, what will you do with the money!
/ mean to speculate in real estate, and
build lot of houses, which shall clear me
twenty-five per cent upon the capital
And when you have got the money
as Of course you will, making sueh nice CAL
cuations--what next?
Then / will put into manufacturing
stock, and make twenty-five per cent
n,ore.'
And them
And then | will invest it in the Rail-
Road stock, which will be just about to be
taken up. I shall make thirty per cent
more by it,
And them
.And then / will commence underwri-
ter. and in short time double the WHOLE
And then, Mr.. SnatchcoPper, after you
have made fifty per cent by the voyage,
twenty five per cent by the real estate
speculation, twenty-five per cent by the
manufactures, thirty per cent by the Rail-
Road, and doubled the whole by under
writing, what will you do with The grand
total Z
Put i, into the funds and live on the
interest,"
How much are you worth now, SIR
'They tax me for fifty thousand dollars:
AN which you are risking upon this
chance?'
sYes, / really think it is great plan
so do !, Mr.. Snaichcopper, but how
do YOU cOntrive 10 raise the money so
| Ou;ck for this undertaking z