The Massachusetts spy, and Worcester County advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1825-1831, 1830-12-15
THE PROFESSOR QUIZZED.
Translated from the Courier deS Etats Unis,
for the Boston Daily Advertiser.

for the Boston Daily Advertiser.
Who wonli have thought il? Mr.. JEFF
frey, the pride of the Scottish bar, the late
Editor OF the Edlnburg Review, who, for
more than twenty years has held mild but
pretty absolute sway over the literature of
Britain, and even that of the continent,
amuses himself sometimes with school boy
Jests, the PLEASANTLY Of which is not unmln-
gled with cruelty. The vivacity of hisrIlt-
lcsm procured him a challenge from the
wounded vanity of Moore and his roguery
once came very near furnishing him with an
affair of honor.
Some time ago, the assizes were held at
Aberdeen, city of Scotland neat the sea-
IN which there is a college of some note
In this college, there was professor pro-
foundly versed in the dark history of the
middle ages, whose character exhibited Il
compound of good nature and credulous
vanity, with which the malice of MIR. JEFF
Trey has more than once amused ITSELF In
order to provide himself with some further
sport, the Et!inburg Arstaichus, after ex-
-tolling TO HIM very highly the pleasure of
shooting, persuaded him that he was par
'tcnlarlv qualified to excel in it; though the
professor was IN fact SO shorts sighted, that
he could hardly ,llstinguis person at the
distance OF ten pares. Accordingly, Mr..
Jeffrey and an accomplce of his. prevailed
upon HIM TO accompany them to Skateron,
"A village on the sea- shore at some distance
from Aberdeen, to which sportsmen are in
the habit Of resortlng to shoot sea- birds,
which abound among the rocks in this
nelghborhood, nj certain seasons Of the year.
Alter having ordered II good dinner at
the hest hotel to which the elite of the lit
craft OF Aberdeen were invited, their novice
Is provided with fowIing piece, and Mr..
jeffrey succeeds in drawing him to GER
tam point to which he directs him. At
every discharge multitude of birds fall
like thunder at his feet. While his com
panlons ut little distance could shoot only
n single bird, he brought down fifty at a
shot. The secret of this miracle was, that
Mr.. jeffrey had caused a cart ioad of dead
game to be collected some days before and
peasant concealed in the cleils of ii rock,
who threw down a vast quantity at every
discharge of the professor
Enchanted at his own skill, he did not
perceive, in the midst of his triumph, that
the waves had completely surrounded the
spot on which he was standing, his perfiii.
Gus friends having given him no warning of
the calamity. sailor game to his aid, and
took him ppon his broad shoulders In this
way, he had nearly reached the shore, when
the sailor, who had received his instructions
beforehand, cried out that his leg was sized
by shark, and forthwith tambled his bur
den into the water. The unhappy profess
scr thought himself for an instant in the
mouth ofthc monster; but the stout-arm Of
the sailor dragged him from the waves, and
laid him dripping on the hank.
He was then escorted by his friends, with
the most comic air of compassion, to the inn
OF Skaterton. There one of the company,
physician, represented to the historian the
urgent necessity for changing his clothes.
But. how unfortunate! no mans dress was
to he found, and woman's Indictments only
could he furnished him. The physician in
sisted that he should put them on. Il was
urged, that he was surrounded by his col
leagues and friends, and necessity compels
him to submit to this odd masquerade. At
ter an absence of Il few minutes, he repair
ell to the dining room, clothed in wo-
mans dress from head to foot, with embar-
rassment according very well with the char
arter of the sex whose garments he had as
stunned. The guests found it difficult To re-
press their mrth. Let one imagine this
huge figure, with his grey forks covered
with a lace cap, with which the merciless
doctor had invested him, his penwig having
fallen into the sea. The rest of his CO.'S
tune was in keepng-his broad shoulders
being covered with red shawl, forming n
brilliant contrast to the blue gown.
The professor was just beginning to for
get his fatigue and trouble, and apply him
self in earnest to eating. when suddenly II
person who was known to him rushes hast-
ly into the room, shouting, "The college is
in flames The college is in fumes ~ At
these words, the professor starts up; but
his terror is doubled, when he learns that
the fire is in that wing Of the college, in
which are all his honks and manuscripts,
the fruits of his patient researches into the
middle ages. AT this moment, he would
willingly have exclaimed, like Richard, "My
kingdom for horse ~ hn, the foresight of
his friends had already provided one. For
getting his strange costume, he leaps upon
the horses back, and the poslillion, by n
crack of the whip, sets him off at fall Gal.
lop. All the company, with Jeffrey at their
head, followed to witness his entry into All
er,leen. Never was Scotch gravity so com
pietely compromised II would he mpossi-
BILE to give an idea OF the establishment and
laughter Of the people of Aberdeen, on see
ing their learned fellow-ctizen rushing in.
to the city. with the rutiles of his cup and
shawl flying in the wind. To make his up.
pearance still more grotcsque, his s,irrnps
had been shortened like those of Name
luke, so that the whole of his large person
appeared to rest upon his knees.
The fire, us may well he conceived, was
mere joke; so that when he entered the
college, both students aud professors were
wholly at q loss to account for his conster.