The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1830-04-01
From the New Forest.
THE OLD MAID's FIRST "OrFER."


81 must tell you the heart.rending sto.
ry--I have long wished to do so, and
the time is a. length arrived" Here the
voice dropped into solemn confidential
whisper - Poor dear Major Ogilvie, who
is now dead and gcne--hiegho had been
long showing me very marked attentions,
in fact, paying me his addresses, though
he had never made his declaration when
one morning, after having sung mo a song
of Farinelll's, the music | believe was
Gluck's--ahi gou should have heard the
Major, he tsas Q sweet singer !--well, the
Doctor had gone out TO buy new inven-
ted hsh-sauce, poor, dear man he does
like to have his fish well Dressed d,--and
| remember he took Franchette, my little
beauty ofG spaniel, with him, SO that the
Major and we're oil alone in the break
fast parlour, when, looking beseechingly
in my face, he suddenly went down upon
one knee before me--ah there Was gal
lantry in those days land taking my
hand, which he tenderly pressed, made
passionate avowal of his love felt my
self blushing crimson deep, when at this
agitating moment, just as was about TO
utter papitating confession of my par
t!alty, nay eyes began 10 twinkle, felt q
tingllng at my nose, my mouth opened in
spite otmyself, ana sneozed, like an ex-
plosion oil gunpowder, full in his upturned
and imploring face! Now tell me, Lady
Susan, you who know how tremendously |
always sneeZe, did you euer' OF all the
awkward occurrences! The Major started,
az, indeed well he might, but presently re-
covered himself, so did | he gazed at me
tenderly, and was just about to relieve
him from his suspense, when / sneezed
with second, and still louder explosion,
that seemed to shatter the very nose from
my face. This 1CGs q confusion Still
pressing my imprisoned hand, but looking
downwGrds, as if to avoid the shower bath
that was so unintentionally scattering
around ,le, he swore that he would never
rise from his posture until had pronounc-
cd II doom. | uttered heartfelt sigh,
eIi . soft ayowsl Of mutual love was
justa,i smbling upon the tip Of my tongue,
wLe I slt something Just trembling upon
the tip Of my nose Lady Susan, Lady
Susan il was beginning 10 bleed did you
Suer? OF all tho distressing moments -
a hLuk lou W htAuIaW any manu- Atlub Il
might get my handkerchief, an action
which the Major attributed to my coyness,
g. therefore did but grasp il the more firm
ly. In this contest, after had frightfully
spotted my tabbinet silk gown, three blood
drops Of an unusual large size fell upon
the Moinr's wrist lie started up in all az
ony; closed my eyes and sunk into chair
overwhelmed with confusion. Imagining
! had tainted, the Major haatily seized a
large tumbler Of water which stood on a
side table, and threw it in my face. At
such an unexpected sousing, screamed
with surprise and terror; the Mareschal
powder which then wore,--H was always
famous for my powder J-mingling with the
water g. the blood, converted my face into
a hideous spectacle, the door few open, the
faithful FrancheItc, thinking her mistress
had been slain, Aew at the poor dear Ma
jor, and BIZ large mouthful ont Of his left
leg. while the transtixed and horror strick.
en- Doctor suffered tho newly discovered
fish sauce TO fall from his hand and be
smashed TO pieces upon the floor! My
dearest LadX Susan consider what must
have been my feelings! did you erer? 1t
was altogether n sceno for a tragedy