Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-06-21

;np his co,ns. On the second visit was ad-
,nitted into his nresence. | stood with my hat
in one hand. and a list book in the other; an INK
bottle. having a pen stuck in it. suspended from
nv hutton hole ready for action, the points OF my
toes forming the centre of a st. Andrews cross
with the opposite angles of the room: while the
official dignity of my countenance was tempered
bv an air of humility, arising from a recollection
that Mr.. Weazel bought goods at my shop. lhis
exnression is never witnessed in government Oh
ficItals who have no co-partnership with similar
eytraneous interests, but depend entirely upon
.powers that be- The latter description OF OH
ciials are the pon:ifces n~.ajoreS and the others but
underlngs;, yet all bear, in their countenanccs
somewhat of a valiant severity when among e.
quals and interiors. | first broke the silence, al
ter mutual recognition. ,
ZIG. | am come, sir, to inquire the number OF
inhabitants in this house, their ages, emplo.yments,
and means of living, in pursuance of an act pass
ed in ID Geo. Is, being the act asc eItain u;
the population of these Kingdoms.
Hsasd, Reddening) Whit the devil, Wig
ginbottom, have l to do with population!
UIg. True, sir; but | must do my duty, You
know. sir.
Hta7a. Very we'll; brit l stand alone i'll the
world: i have no children; population Is nothing
to me, | don't increase it: and Nautilus says it's
the increase of population that is the rum OF ma
tons. I have no wife, have a housrkeeper II Is
true. somewhat aged-Diana lcely, just turned
sixty. What has population to do with me or her
either?
Uig. T~profung by the Intelligence of the
housekeeper's name and age, instantly put them
on the l,st1-you. perhaps have other relatives
living with you sir?
+ Ha,-aJ Not thank God.
I am plaueed with none male or female; and this
intelligence will content you, hope.
UIg. Entering Theophilus Weazel, single
man. ANY servants, sir?
UeazeL. No. no, DT and self are all who live
in this house, unless YOU would take the rats.
UIg. Your employment, sir.s
Uedcd. Am | not a gentlelnan-indepcndent,
NE. Government orders US to return the en-
p~loyment. sir.
Ueazd. Government be hanged: it won't let us
live in the light of Heaven, by and by; it means
to save the expense of keeping spies, | suppose,
by making every man a spy upon himself. Let
them find it out.
Hig. There is a penalty sir, for making evasive
| returns. would wish to oblige You. but YOU
must not blame me for following my duty. You
have known me fer a long while Mr.. Weazel.
Uea-d. A mans house was formerly his cas-
| tie: his secrets were his own: he paid his taxes
| and 10 more was required. They'll set up racks
soon. to extcrt answer to their questions. 1 pay
half NV income in taxes, and cannot be left gui-
ct. ri emigrate-lll sell out of the funds. and
| live abroad.
Uig. | will enter, %s.lives by the funds; no
EMPLOYMENT Writes it down, Mr.. WeaZel
scarcely noticinghim for angry emotions. There
is something more sir; | "a nearly
Uea.e. Taxation, Wigginbottom, taxation is
the cause of all. Ministers are insolent from
success-shan't tax me much longer-lll get
out of the way-Ill e~migrate.
Zig. There is something more, sir had al
most forgot to ask your aye.
Wea,a. My age. s'blood. my age too? Here
he was almost choaked with anger.
A pause now ensued. and Mr.. Weazel's coun-
~tenance changed from red to yellow, and then
to red again, with an expression OF indignation
and rage. 1t was an emotion forming a climax
of passion; the magnitude Of which preciuded NJ
~terance, and proved it not to belong to the porr'
dolores of Horace. 1t must nave been a pause
like Macduf's after he exclaimed,
'.all my pretty ones?
Did YOU saw all? Oh. hell kite. all:"
| almost wished | had not made the demand
so abruptly. Al length in a subdued tone OF
voice ,he overpowered Calida'ire said, 50 Wig
ginhottom. | don't know my age; this business
is more than human nature can bear-putme down
what YOU think me to be- mentioned fifty. & a
s,e.ln cf satisfaction overspread his face as he
added ''yoa guess near the mark, Wigginbot-
tom-ouiy two years out; | shall not say which
side of fifty you Should have taken"
Heartily fired. | iut down forty-eight: at the
| same ;ine gIessiuS from Mr.. Weazel's apparent
satisfaction. thar it ought to have been four years
more, aud tha, the bachelor felt pleasure at hay,
ing cOZeneG me.
I'm Irish .3nsicer.-lt may seem a matter OF
no extraordinary difficulty to give a plain answer