Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1830-01-14


serve. u. Is.
THE PHILOSOPHICAL APPLE WOMAN
any miud to me kingdom is.''
1t is nonsense to talk Of the learned as be-
ing the only wise part of mankind; there is
many an unlettcred fellow who can turn his
wits to better account tlian professor, while
there are not few OF lie erudiie who have
hardly wisdom enough TO so in, when it rains,
not that we are altogether Of DoSberly's o
pinion that. so write and read comes by ma
ture,' bat the truth is, that q man may have
shrewd noddle who never figured among
the knowing ones.
| was led into these reflections by eontem-
plating the other day, the philosophical de-
n1ean0r OF an ancient ai,piewoman on Long
Wharf This relict of the oiden days has
kept her station there with her vendibles of
fruit and gingerbread, time out oi mind, and
save her aiurnal locomotions at morning and
evening. she is as much part and parcel
Of the Boston Pier as one OF the posts, She
IS. in fact. to all intents and purposes, an
absolute fixture She owns four feet square
OF the side walk by prescription Nobody
thinks of ordering her or her table out OF the
way. She is Sibyl, and keeps the rabiae
in good manners with stirring spep as
MIR. Willis says she is Pythoness, and sits
upon her three legged stool as on a Delphick
tripod. She has an absolute immunity from
all vexaiions, rubs and crosses, which are a
part of the municipal economy. -Constabies
do not venture 20 be saucy 70 her, alderman
make their manners before her, trucs<Den
dare not jostle her; handeagtmen are man
nerly, and auctioneers dumb in her presence
"The Niobe ofnations. bere she si,s.'
| This venerable and philosophical female
will help you TO her eatables with the same
air of indifference, whether you be a nabob
or newspaper oditor,-worth plam. or out
at the elbows. II is all the same TO her; she
puts the Mayor on the level with q market
boy; and makes no distinction between one
who own ships and one who writes verses
| What's IiecuLa TO her' She sells her apples
and chcsButs, and he who bugs the oftenest
IS the greatest man in her eyes believe she
would not bulge a foot If President jackson
should commence a searching OPERATION in
person to rogte all inteTloping traiiiclcers IN
nuimegs, and sugar candy, too hear those
perilous which are under the special super
version OF the Custom House.
She was talking with one of our principal
merchants, who stood ON the sidewalk near
herr he was nlunching an apple and grumb-
ling OF hard times.
''Terrible times Mrs. Pippin, terrible times;
people all failing; no money, don't know what
we are all coming to-
Terrible times indeed, MIR. Snatchcopper.
Is that your new ship yondere
Eyes, but she has cost me monstreus sum.
have moTtga ged all my real estate; and hi
red money 10 build her.
That's an excellent plan MIR. Sna;chcop-
per. Every man would not have shown so
much prudence
'Yes, yes, | am obliged TO pay an enor-
nous interest for the money; but then | ex-
pect the voyage viii bring me in at least fifty
per cent?
Really, Sir: that's magnificent prospect;
and when you have pocketed AL the profit,
whatwill you DO with the money!
4 mean to speculate IN READ estate, and
build LOT OF houses, which shall clear me
twenty-five per cent. upon the capital.
and svhe- you hare got the money-as Of
course you wall, making such NICE calcuia-
tons.--what ntxts'
Then will put into manufacturing stock,
and make twenty-five per cent. more
'And then win invest itinto the Ran Road
stock, which viii be JUST about 20 be taken
up, shall clear thirty per cent. more by it.
! 'sud them
sAnd then ! will commence underwater
/ and in a short time double the whole
( and then Mr. Snatchcopper, after you
/ have made fifty per cent by the voyage,
twenty-five per cent. by the real estate spec-
ulation, twenty i've per cent BY the manu-
Gictures. thirty peg cent. by the Eail Road,
and doubled the whole by Underwriting, what
will you do with tire grand total
Put it into the funds and live ON the inter
| est
How much are you worth now, Sir?'
They tax ne for Fifty thousand dollars
AL of WHICH you are risAing upon this