Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-07-27

my surprixe 1T recognizing my own features, IN
all the sublimity Of ugliness, painted upon the
pannel! Twas in the character of griffin!
What was worse, the ladies who happened to be
horribly handsome observed the likeness, which
they seemed to regard as coincidence highly
Hattering to me. fancied every moment that
they would compliment me on the resemblance,
and expect me to present them with their crest
set IN diamonds for my miniature. While lean.
Ing over, they glanced, first at the green panel
and then at me; comparing the grin of the griffin
with the smile of Inconsistencies that assumed,
and which must have looked very like parox-
ism of horror.
Igrew more and more CHASTITY as affected to
look pleasant In endavoring to twist my mouth
into something less disagreeable, Ion!y reSembled
fury playing OH fiddle. At last, finding that
the griffin had decidedly the best of il, LEFT the
ladies to their scent bottles. believe one of
them tainted. AS l. relreated they seem
ed little surprised at my walking away in the
usual manner like other people. They looked
down and consulted together; they had counted
my legs.
l shall not attempt to convey to the reader.any
definite notion of my features; as well might l
endavor to paint the sound of the bagpipes, or TO
turn vinegar barrel into verse.
My nose-let it pass llndcscrbed-a shape OF
shadow, a riddle TO all ages. bequeath us
memory 10 mankind, and in after times, let it
be said that there was at least one nose of which
The human mind could form no conception; will
merely observe, that if it should acquire, either
from time or the table, any other form or hue, it
must inevitably be handsomer than it is. My
feet very much resembles those that we meet with
in modern poetry, being sadly deficient in guam
tity when compared with each other
Yet am one of the most popular men of the
day; party is hardly considered complete with
out me. take precedence OF the youthful and
the elegant: you will always find me in the love-
liest. the veliest, and the least superficial circle
in the room. attract about me the gay and the
romantic, the sentimental and the imprisoned.
Mind, | am not hired like genius or a juggler,
who is expected TO amuse in proportion to the
honors that are paid him; and yet am hunted as
4 curiosity, and carried about like new poet,
or new shawl.
But for what? do not write songs, nor have
| made any useless discovery in science
To be able to dance well. says some old author,
requires good understanding; it also requires
legs. which the articles that assist me i'll walk
ing cannot correctly be called.
There is some secret, theu, by which ugness
may be made fascinating? Thee is 1t consists
simply IN this singular fact, that | never in my
life happened to read any one of the Scotch no
ve!s! This forms my character. am known as
the gentleman who never read WayerIyo
live upon the nil adnirari-i flourish upon no.
thing. Every bodyis contending who shall get me
into q corner to describe me Amy RObsart or
Mac Iyor
am like the new world, all are anxious to
cultivate me. NV ignorance is universally CO.
veted; to know is to be nothing.
How am enyied! All leave me with an I'M
preston that am exceedingly we'll Informed,
because they have communicated to me every
thing that they happened to know UP to that pc
Rod
\ There are some that take pride TO grid at me,
as men did at FalstaH; but my Triumph is no less
complete; have captivated the loveliest of her
sex. She writes rOmanccs. and have promised
to read none but hers. am to furnish her with
perpetual ideas for her corsairs and bandits; she
will never want demon while live.
My hopes Of happiness on this pont had not
vet received a confirmation. | was i'll hourly
expectation of decision, and flatterrd myself
except when | happened to be standing near a
mirror-that it would be favorable. In five
DAYS an answer was TO be returned.
NV heart beat responses to the clock, and
licked as if it had been warranted. watched
every hour that came. as debtor does dun,,
and was thankful when it was gone. 1t would
be on the four eenth: memorable date. Now
then for my letter. 'Letitia, said !, these girls
get such fine names) you may bring up my cOf
fee, and mind, expect letter this morning:
pray let me have it the moment il comes The
Girl started at first, and believe almost Uttered.
There has been one already. SIR Then ne
yer mind the coffee now put it down and bring
me the letter. 20 refused it, sir said she,
with an air of discretion. Refused ii. when?
why:' : IL come by the eight O'Clock post. sir.
| thought it was a Valentine, and that Of course
YOU would not take it in She INDUCED me
with another stare, and treated herself to another
litter.
The post now came. Hen naihi, what an in
undation of dispatches; forgot how many, some
at two pence, some at three pence, none paid
Some were folded mysteriously and turned into
geometrical forms--the seals were not less multi
form aud were graccd with every impression from
sixpence to key. There was, however, sur
prsing uuanimity in their contents, they all struck