Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1830-01-21
Prom the .Ns,c England G;,,lary.l


Or, The first and last Sermon Of Ichabod TTiag.
Whether the events of the following story
happened in Massachusetts or Connecticut. IS
nothing at all to the purpose; it is enough
that they are positive iacts--that is-the sub
stance OF them, for as we got the story at Sc
i cond hand, we cannot v0uch for IL IN foio.
but the main facts are so authentic, that il,
the words of Sancho Panza, that mirror of
story te1g and squire -errantry, body NAV
not only believe, but swear to the truth Of
them.
Ichabod Wing was the son of farmer in
i. one of the interior towns Of New England
q He was a simple doddy, but he knew a hawk
Y from handsaw, and had wit enough, some
n fines, TO so within doors when if was rain
u ing. With these few accomplishments he
might have got aloag well enough in the world.
4 and gone out OF it at last without knowing
q whether it stood still or turned round: but
q fate ana the Young Mems Education Society
4 had ordained otherwise.
ichabod had somehow or other. and most
maccountably to himself, got The reputation
# of not being remarkably knowing and acute
in the affairs of this world. He always got
over reached in going to market, made ter
n rible losing bargains IN Swapping even, and
never made calculation without missing
figure lie would throw the heiee after the
Ratchet, rob Peter to pay Paul, get himself
April fooled, run into the water for fear of
rain, stand in his own sunshine, go on
Tom fools GRAND, swallow hsh-s and
believe what the newspapers said. In short,
& there was no making any thing Of him, so the
!. Young Mems Education Society determined
TO make him parson.
Every body in tie country knows the
Young Mems Education Society. They take
itupon them to bring up young men TO the
ministry, and shew wonderful tact in Sc
lecting the objects of their care. Like Gar
KICKS ScotchInan who was told that his gen
aus did not he IN comedy, and thence conclll-
ded that it must lie in tragedy, these SARA
cious people when they find youth not re-
markedly blessed with worldly wisdom, very
naturally infer that he must be gifted with
some more divine faculty, and though in the
eyes of the world he may be an incorrigihle
numslull, he is to them person peculiarly
fitted to become a burningand shiningIght;
thus they eyince.a determination to verify the
text of scripture mot many wise, sc. are
called"
Now Ichabod was Just the fellow for this:
he was tmorous, sheepish sort of an animal
who looked as if he did not dare say his soul
was his own. The directors of the Young
Mems Education Society saw at the first
glance that he was exactly cut out for their
purpose: so they persuaded Ichabod to be-
take himself to tn illogical studies; there was
no difficulty in doing this, for Ichabod was
never known to be obstinate, simple soul! like
Cornelius Scliblerus, he always agreed with
the last opinion he heard.
To make long story short, he got through
his studies and was licensed to preach.-Tt
was terrible thing in his apprehension, to
preach the first sermon, as he was not re-
- {E,a o. n,
bethought himself of the project of going into
the field, holding forth to the cabbages, and
fancying each head to be an auditor. Some
say be actually did it, but this is rather dubi-
ous-However it is certain the thing was
done. if not by Ichabod Wing, at least by
others in his line, and TO judge by the logic
which many of these gentlemen hold to their
congregations, one would imagine they tho't
themselves preaching to cabbage heads still
But let that pass. Ichabod, after ponder
ing a long while upon the matter, determin-
ed to go to distant town and make his first
essay in the pulpit. He accordingly manag-
ed to get himself despatched for this purpose
TO a congregation at distance where the
minister was absent on journey for the be.
ncit of his health, a sort of remedy for slight
diseases very highly priced by the clergy
Ichabod quartered himself upon the possess
or of the latest looking farm he could espy
by which it appears that he was not such
fool as to despise good living, and possessed
one instinct for which men of his cloth are n
mous-But let that pass also. Sunday came
Ichabod cot ready his sermon with great tire
pidation, and conncd it over again and again
to make himself sure of it.
The congregation met, and the mectin,
house was filed, but the minister p,t it OF
terribly. The bell kept toilng and tolling Ill
the people thought it never would be done
They yawned and stared about aud kep
peeping out at the windows,-just as if the
expected he would come sooner for that. A
last Deacon Snacks got up and spoke I
Squire Barleycom-
:. Squire, where is the minister?'
"RerIly, Deacon, don't know. Hec
out OF my house just after me. but he Wake
SO slow that got out of sight OF him"
ats very strange he don't come"
every strange"
Hare Miss Deborah Peepaboui, an elder
virgin, who held the opinion Of Paul Pry Thu
that the spirit of inquiry is the grand cha
NJ acteristic of the age in which we live, al
who also felt a particular sympathy in Il
fate of unmarried clergyman, thrust her loI
nose between the Deacon and the Squire
asked