Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-07-23
Ffop, the Nsw York .anieriean.
DIARY OF A HEATED ATTORNEY.

Monday Morning. " CI9ct II. M'-i"ii
awake, some inclination 10 get up; bed feeling
as if it were warmed like Will Waddles, 6y a
bakers oven; endured the genial warmth an hour
longer in spite of milkinan. baker and patent
sweeper who performed trio In the street under
my window.
6 o'closk-Hotter and hotter. Aereeaby en-
tertained bv the buzzing Of score Of blue-bot-
ties, and most amazingly titila,ed by their light
ing ever and anon upon my nose. Tried desper-
ately to annihlate one or two, succeeded IN black
ing nv own eve. Mortal could no longer stand
or rather lie it, forced to be up betimes, rose.
with a - at the insects and phe-w. felt
as if had been drlbbled through pipe-stem.'
About half dressed. awful work. Men,
| have to make call this morning, looked for
a collar with double starch, found one which
man might have broke his shin over-determn-
ed that it would, at all events, last out the morn
ing
8.-Breakfast-toaSt and salmon-coifee-
steam and flies. Mem.-Butter all gravy and
flies not cooked-querps which is worst. the
Fostering insect or the labor of whisking thems
finished half cup-sat half an hour TO cool
pulling on boots terrible. Mem-to buy boot
hooks with long handIes-reldy TO go out-all
out of the window looking like the inside of
steam boiler-made my mind up to the attempt
last peep in the looking glass. . Venus. my
collar all dckey pendant over my stock like
towel hung over fence to dry.
9 o'ciock.-Arrived at my oflce-wlndows
shut-a,mosphere gives very good idea OF the
interior of the crater of Vesuvius-let out little
Of the heat and darkness as Pat says-quil5, wa
fers, dust. parchment, and pigeon holes-pretty
prospect, but not quite SO refreshing as that from
Cattskill mOuntain-at least just now. Three
letters to write and Bill in Chancery to finish
letters to be carried two miles to the gentle.
man who has undertaken to forward them
Partner out of town, and no postponements pos
sible-rare anticipation-gives one some idea OF
the feelings Of hereto on the Of an auto da-
fe
l1.-Hoter and hotter-peeped at thermom-
eter. 92-Tred Portwine and water as cooler
unsuccessful, came through the pores of my
skin as if | had been canvass bag. Bar room
crowded, steam rising in more ways than one
Standing near the Post Office, felt an unusual
warmth in my left shoulder, turned to ascertain
the cause and found pyself almost in contact
with an old gentleman whose nose was redshot-
removed from such an infamable neighborhood
in all haste.
IL. Set out on nv walk Vulcan protect me
Thought of Shadrack, Mecheck and Abedne-
90; and compared myself to Bonaparte in Mos
cow-Saw scorched birds wing lying in the
gutter: poor creature. no doubt 1t had been con-
sumed in its own element, and persisted on its
rapid course like moth in candle-Felt my
hat crisping into a cinder. and watched my
shoes smoking like slow-natches.
O'Clock. Found my friend at home-Sor-
ry had endured so much trouble; had changed
his mind, and was not going-Knew friend
who was; lived only mile of-peasant con-
summation: no remedy, however,-comfortabie
rehection-On my return. saw several people
gazing at large puddle of water; inquired and
learned that three young ladies and their fat ma
ma had Just melted away: how lamentable-
Thought of Arethusa and the sisters of Pheton
Mean to compose sonnet on the subject when
the weather coos.
5. Thermometer 92i. Spent an hour in try
ing to find the coolest corner of the Office: could Mt
find it. Took off coat and stock; found my COL
lar all gone: curious effect of heat. Looked
out of the window, and cav two little boys fight.
ing for a fan. Wondered if it were any cooler on
the water; wished | dare venture out to try
Tried to cool myself BY thinking of Alpine see
merry, islands Of ice, sleigh riding, the North
Pole, and Miss -, whose presence would
now be a desirable thing: never would have be-
refrigerator but "who can hold fire in his hand
by thinking of the frosty Caucasus?'
S. Dinner: horrible idea. Sat down to the
task like Hercules to his abors: meat too rare:
took slice, and found, before could eat it, that
it was thoroughly done. Like to died Of thirst.
not being able to drink, for the liquid turned to
steam before ! could swallow it. Every body
a, table looking as if they, as well as the joint, had
just come out of the pot. Asked to wine by -:
took brandy: never discovered the
mistake except BY the smell-found my corpore
al substances SO thoroughly imbued with caoric
that the mustard and pepper lost all taste to me.
Dedent, an attempt at ice-cream, vastly like
raw custard-custards of the consistency of
crambied cheese. the liquid having evaporated.
Tried to say civil thing to Miss; couldn't
do it; broke down in the mddle-receptiOn of
my compliment the first cool thing l had felt all
day.
S. Nap-dreamed was great SNOWFALL in
l thaw; awaked by a gentleman wanting to see
proved to be dealer in old
coats, id him out of the house; tried to sleep