Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-01-20
COMMUNICATION.
PIE CLUB-Ne. XIII.

daruIsas, sisdivmqus immane Oqusndi.-ovIp
The public's humble servant. Admit
ted with all due form and soemnity, as mem
Der of the Club which has, for some lime past,
been the subject Of conversation and OF CRUZ
cis,p, OF ex 'ravaean, praise and uaqaalihed
crn.ure, ], as in duty bound, upon my appear
ance before The public, dof ay cap and make
nv hes, bow. The Kindness OF my friends has
excused me, al this time, from going into a
detail Of the events Of my life, and has imposed
upon me, comparatively speaking, only the
slight task of indiIng paper upon LoaUAoirY
R.,her silent bac he Tor myself the Club doubt
less imagined that I could more sensibly feel
the horrors Of being bored with a garrulous
companion, and. Of course, that l would be
louder in my complaints ard mare severe in
INV animad versions. Perhaps they were not
wrong in their assuming.
There are different kinds OF takers in the
world-msu who talk because they have no.
thing else To do that is, Tor the sake OF EN-.
oloymen,; men who talk to show their know
ledge and paris; and men who will gable be-
cause they are fools The 6rst class invariably
belong 10 The gentry. denominsted by Dr.. Es-
char IsrRvDEas! They infes' stores, counting
rooms, corners, and, I am told, pot houses, or
beer shops. They are the H0ing newspapers Of
the day and convey from house 10 house
great variety Of local news, sundry tit bis Of
scandal, aud have on hand a fund OF specula'
ton and prophecy The appearance Ut the
weather. il is peculiarly their province to talk
abou'; and cold day or high wisd Is an event
which they enlarge and dilate upon. Mr. In
YuDEss is one OF these gentlemen. Having
no employment himself, he seems 10 think that
every body else 10 in The same predicamsn,.
and, quietly taking his seat, in the technical
-
in,erminable in length, and insaf.rable IN dull
ness. He was never Known TO be the first TO
quit the company or stop ,a,kug Every Story
that is told, calls 10 his recollection another;
and his mind seems 10 b~ a repository for all
the passing anecdotes Of the day. have known
his auditors to drop If one after another, I'M
iii he was left TO he bare walls and empty
chairs. He saan,efs slowly about the streets,
aud will stop to hear old women talk, aud
deyour ,heir conversation with greedy ear !"
He has. beeD TWICE kicked, oure cufed, and
three times turned out Of doors, by the same
person; and We, his RI sits continue, and his
tongue has by no IN, aus slackened
RuYs belongs 10 tue second class OF takers /
have mrp,jonrd. II. speaks iS a language uns
known 70 the vulgar" and n'erfa DIS his con-
versaJiol with LA in quotations and 1boetical
scraps He imagines himself q very learned
Character, and, moreover, mas concert ihat ne
i, man 81 great consequence aud inAuencr
Pompous in his manner aud person, h- very Of
ten imposes himself upon the ignorant, and
every day imposes on himself. Some Of his
quondam friends, indulging themselves in d
ludicrous comparison, have called him esteem
Boar" but, except the nsise. The comparison
does not hold good:-he IS literally, Dor Ct pre-
ireoe nha-" sound and fury slgnifying 10
thing"
Mr. GAuzx is attached to he third class Of
ioquacinus and garrulous people who arc the
subjects Of this paper. The dress Of GAuzE
has brought down upon HIM the malsdic,ions
Of my plain blend Theopbilus Virgins, and
his iacessant, magpi'>lihe talk, has rendered
him n,trrly contemplate in my sigh. Gauze
is bright genius lie talks of cravats, and
boogs snd b,ras'- pins, and bonne,s, and shawis,
and ribbons. and, in shor', OF every thing about
which $srosibie man would not talk Such is
Nj. Gauzr. I am credibly informed that the
only work he ever perused was one entitled
Thirty SIX ways to tie crava," Blu ran-
10, CONSENT To de- ala The reader with drawing
the portrait Of one who IS not worth the trou-
bic Of looking 81, and who is no, even fool
enough 10 make himself re MAJ kable.
JOHN BROWN