The Northern star, and farmers' and mechanics' advocate. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1830-1834, 1830-10-30
and knew il to be the door of the young

the prayer from another, the faint shrek
Of restless dreams from third, my ear
had become so finely graduated, that ]
could instantly distinguish the opening Of
that door from which (to my sorrow) no
sound had ever before issued. Twas pro-
vided with a small chain, by which fast
ened the handle Of the door to contigu-.
Gus one, IN such manner that it was inn
possible to open either Of them from the
inside. then hastened to the Superior,
with pride ofwhich ncne but the success
lu tracer of a guilty secret in converts
can have any conception. j believe the
Superior was himself agitated by the lux
ury OF. the same feelings: for he was a.
wake and up in bis apartment, attended by
four monks. communicated my intelli-
gence with yoluble eagerness, not only
unsui,ed to the respect l owed these per-
sons but which must have rendered me-
almost unintelligible: yet they vera good
enough not only to overlook this violation
of decorum, which would in any other
case, have been severely punished, but
even to supply certain pauses in my mar
rative, with a condescension and felicity
truly miraculous. felt what it was to
acquire Importance in the eyes of a SUI
lperior, and gloried in all the digniied de-
lpravity Of an in, 'ner We set out with
out losing moment--we arrived at the
door OF the cell, and pointed out, with tri-
unph, the chain unremoved, though a
slight vibration, perceptible at our ap-
proach, showed the wretches were alrca-
dy apprised of their danger I unfas,en-
cd the door-how they must have shnd-
dered! The Superior and his satellites
burst into the cell and l held the light
lYpu tremble-why: was guilty, and ]
wished to witness guilt that palliated mine,
at least in the opinion of the convent. /
had only violated the laws Of nature, but
they had outraged the decorum of con-
vent, and, ofcourse, in the creed of con
vent, there was no proportion between
our offences Besides ] was anxious to
witness misery that might, perhaps, equal
or exceed my own, and this is a curiosity
not easily satisfied. 1t is actually posi-
BILE to become ematems IN suffering. l
have heard of men who have travelled into
countries where horrible executions were
to bt daily witnessed, for the sake of that
excitement which the sight of suffering
neyer fails to give, from the spectacle Of "a
tragedy, or an auto daJe, down to the
writings ofthc meanest reptile On which
you can infict torture, and feel that tort
ure is the sesult Of your own power 1t
is species of feeling of which we can
never divest ourselves--a triumph over
those whose suaerings have placed them
below us--and no wonder, suffering is al
ways an indication of weakncss--we glo-
ry in our impenetrabiity. ] did, as we
hurst into the cell, The wretched hus-
band and wife were locked in each other 's
arms The Superior stood astonished and
appalled, to see two human beings OF DIFF
lerent sexes who dared to love each other
in spite Of monastic ties.
Whatever aflectation he might employ
on points of conventual austerity, there
was none here. Love was thing he al
Ways believed connected with sin, even
though consecrated by the name ofsacla-
ment, and called marriage, as it is in our
church. Bui, love in convent Oh !!
there is no conceiving his rage; still less
|
| is it possible to conceive the majestic and
overwhelming extent of that rage, when
strengthened by principle and sanctifed
by religion. l enjoyed the scene beyond
all power of description. saw those
wretches, who had triumphed over me,
reduced to my vel in a moment-their
passions all displayed, and the display
placing me hero triumphant above all
4 had crawled to the shelter ofthcir walls
wrctchcd, degraded outcast, and what
was my crimei Well-you shudder: |
aave done with that. ] can only say
want drove me to it. And here we've be-
mgs whom, IA few months before, would
aaye knelt TO as TO the images round the
hrinc; to whom, in the numents of my
desperate penitence, weuld have clung
as to the Z" horns 1.-THE altar" all brougI.;
as low or lower than myself Sons Of
,he morning." as deemed them in the a.
gonies OF any humiliation, "how were
sney iallenn ieasted on the degrada-
iion of the apostate monk and novice-l
,njoyed to the core of my liberated heat,
the passion of the SuLcrier--l felt that
hey were all men like myself Angels,
as had thought them, they all proved