The Northern star, and farmers' and mechanics' advocate. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1830-1834, 1830-07-03
TAKING THE CENSUS.

ScENE,-A House in the Country.
Inquisitor. Good morning, Madam.
Is the head ofth family at homer
Mrs. Touchwood. Yes, sir, Pm Dt
home.
Ing. Hav'nt you husband ,
Mrs. T.. Yes, sir, but he ant the head
Of the family, I'D have you to know.
Ing. How many persons have you in
your family
Mrs. T. Why bless me, sir, what's
that to you ? You're mighty inquisitive,
| think. -
1nq. I'm the man that takes the CEN
Gus.
Mrs. T. If you was man in your
senses, you would't ak such impertinent
questions.
Inq Don't be affronted old lady, but
answer my questions a. l ask them.
Mrs. i. Answer a fool according to
his folly !-you know what the scriptures
say. Old lady indeed
Inq. l beg your pardon, Madam /;
but ! don't care about hearing Scrip
ture just ut this moment. Pm bound to
60 according to law not according to gos-
pei.
Mrs. T. should think you went
neither according to law nor gospel
What business is it to you to inquire into
folkses affairs, Mr.. Thingumbug
Inq. The law makes it my business,
good woman, and if you don't want to en-
pose yourselft to its penalties, you mus,
answer my questions.
Mrs. T. Oh it's the law, is it , Tha,
altars the case. But / should like Il
know what business the law has with peo.
ples' household matters.
Ing. Why Congress made the law,
and lift doesn't please you, you must, talk
to them.
Mrs. T. Talk to a fiddle-stick =
Why, Congress is fool, and you're a.
mother.
Ing. Now, good lady, you're a fine
looking woman, ifyou'll only give me a
few civil answers, I'll thank you. What
| wish to know first is, how many are
there in your family
Mrs. /. Let me see, Counting her fin.
gers there'ssI and my husband is one
Ing. Are you always one
Mrs. 1. WHAT'S that to you, should
like to know. But tell you, if you don't
leave off interruptlng me, / wont say a.
mother word.
Inq. Well take your own way, and
be hanged toyou.
, Mrs. L. Twill take my own way, and
no thanks to you. (Again counting her
6ngers.) There's and my husband is
one there's John, he's two Peter is
three, Sue and Mol are four, and Thom-
as is five. And then there's Mr.. Jenk-
ins and his wife and the two children is
six and there's old Jowler, he's seven
Inq. Jowler Who's he /?
Mrs. T, Whose JowIer Why who
should he be but the old house dog
Inq. It's the number of persons ]
want to know
Mrs. +. Very well, Mr.. Flippergin,
ant Jowler person ; Come here, Jow-
Ter, and speak for yourself. Pm sure he's
as personable dog as there lis in the
whole state.
lnq. He's very clever dog, no
doubt. But it's the number Of human be
ngs l want to know.
Mrs. T. Human There ant amore
human dog that ever breathed.
lnq Well, but mean the two-legged
sind OF beings.
Mrs. T. Othe two-legged Is il 7 Well
hen there the old rooster, he's seven
he fighting cock is eight, and the ban
am is nine
Inq. Stop, stop, good woman, I beg
,fyou. Idont want to know the number
# your fowls.
Mr.. T. I'm very sorry indeed I cant
,lease you, such a sweet gentleman a.
,ou are. But didn't you tell me il was
he two-legged beings gHk
Inq. True, bot ! didn't mean the
lens.
Mrs. T. o, now I understand you.
The old gobbler, he's seven, tho hen tur-
icy is eight--and IL you'll wait . week
here1l be q parcel Of young ones. Cor