Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-06-03
DISTRESSING SITUATION.
, .d;,or of the Boston Courier.

kamunikdshionS uSt Sumurnes dPPete s"A
axe and he teld me you didn't charge nothen mop
ing you'll treet me in the same way send TINS ror
publikashion l am a plane farmer ana no put I'LL
tie bout present fashions and noshuns out L am 81
PLACED and freted by a parcel OF runanolt VIM
min with scription papurs and by my iahny WIN
a thousand outlandish nOshunS that l aoht no
nothin about that I am determined to write sum-
then for your Print.
luther day cum a paper for me to sine, to stop
the runnen of the males on Sunday, darnashun
said | and why not stop the runncn OF the Fc-
males 7 think thew are worst of the too for they
run every day, no longer ago than yesturday cum
three of UNI with a paper as long as my earle
whip, axt um what twas bout and they teld me
that it was sent by the ladies of Bostun to the
wimmin of NJ ingland bout Citing money TO ny
stones to make a monument on bunker hill SO ss
| spose there an any wi nnin in Bostun moth
EN- thear in pettecoats but Ladies they SEQ 1t was
a miss homer of the Printur, we'll says l l never
heard of hur afore and wont have n0then TO 90
with aney of the Printurs Misses don't think II
rite la par SAYS our Nab they call her Abbey slnse
she went to the mecademy the ladies meen 1t
was a mishnomure a mistake of the Pr1ntur we'll
| don't care for that Nab saws | l wont be tarnal-
ly givin away monev for this AMI that and tother
if they want stones if they will cum up hear-l
will rive um anuf to bid a monument ny as the
ould tour of Babe. then the wimmin with the
long papur sed sumthen bout nashunal onor, all
fudge saws I thears anuf of that talked about In
Kon"ress but it all Gums to nothen arter all then
my wife tackled me on tU.her side and sed now
do my dear she hasn't called me dear before
for twenty years. now do my dear jist give me
five Dollars it will look so queer to see evry bo-
dys name but mine on that ar long papur | shall
feel ashland cant help it says I l am stiff as a
monument yes says one of the wimmin with the
long papur you're hart is as hard as Quincy
Grannit don't care for that SAYS ! | never knew
but two good things come from Quincy yet, and
them was the two John Adamses and they wor
| what | call Bunkum so of they trudged but |
heard them tell my wife at the door they would
call asin.
Then Gums a papur to my sun Jock to deliver a
lecter next week in a newfansled place they call
| see um up in marchant Fillebrowns shop cham
Der. Jock went thre months last wintur to a
mecademy and now calls every thing by some
latin name ~seemenly as easy as a Pig can whis-
tie greak then all the week my wife and darters
was rigen out to go to Jocks lecter they sed they
new Id go & waite on um & hear Jock but I'm
sure l wont saysI I've had anuf of / see um with
them ar three Bunker Hill wimmin | cont want
to Sc any more stitch when the night cum for Jocks
Letter Town stairs he cum fresh from the hands
Of my wife and darters he had somethen round
his neck up to his ears stiff as sheat Iron and
looked like the side boards nv Guild cart they sed
twas a Dickey and all Gentlemen wore um to
hide a durty shurt pritty good noshun too says |
guess that cum up from Boston, wear ranewattcr
is scace we'll says I Jock whar ar you goen to
preach about tonight o then hes goen to deliver a
I oo-l,,.o .,Lax, Lo,,x ,o-e I Tool- To11~- e,vo Eo
we'll whats that says | why its all bout the Arth
so is the Devil says Jock says l l guess you no
full as much bout Joli6cation as you do bout Jo-
logy why my dear Par says Nab how old fashun &
igrunt you be it means the same thing its ony a
breviashun Of the word Umph | thought as much
Howsomever away they all went & all Cum back
in high spirits ever body said Jock delivered an
elegunt Lecchure but no body seemd to under
stand it, it was a rare specimunt of the march of
mind & guessed Jock would sumo run for membur
Congress like that says | cause he can help UNI
talk thear bout Nashunal honor, arter its all gone
my wife finding me in pretty good humOr tuckd
Inc agin bout the five dollars because the three
Bunker Hill hand maids promised to cum next
day Well now says | LYDIA what is that mont
ment to be put thear for why my dear says she it
is to memerit Nashunal honor & the march Of
mind march of mind says l how do you make
that out this was ruther a poser howsumever |
thought she did prttv well she said she sposed
when the British reglars marched up to the fort
on Bunker hill they had mind to take it that
the Yankees defended it b%ravely till all there
aminitien was gone and then they had a mind to
march down tother side of the hill out of the way
of the crate guns. and if that wosnt the march
ur mind she didn't no what was | bust into a hors
laugh. and as | handed over the five dollars Ly-
dIa saws | my ould playmate your mind is on the
high pressur principal & if you don't MIND you'll
bust your Biler her eye sparkled With %pleashur at
my supposed complement, and as she bestowd on
me one of those cozing smiles which playd on
hur face and wun my heart forty years ago she
replied as she left the room let me alone for that
Hubby.
no a thing or two yet. Then back Gums the
three wimpin agin to say they shude cum next
week with a scription paper for a rale rode it
would come pritty near my barn & they would take
the stones | offered to give them for the monument
& sum Timber two if | coud spare 1t and arter
that they was goin to git up anuther s%cription to
bid a ship to carry out a hundred Mishonaris
wifes to Tom big toe in affrlkey says l who is he