Herald of the times. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1830-1846, 1830-08-11

! from third, my ear had become so fine
J ly graduated, that could instantly dis,
tinguish the opening of hat door from
which (to my sorrow no sound had ever
before issued. l was provided with a
small chain, by which fastened the han
die Of the door to Il contiguous one, in
such a manner that>it was impossible to
open either of them from the inside.
then hastened to the Superior, with a
pride of which none but the successful
tracer of a guilty secret in converts can
have any conception. believe the Su-
perior was himself agitatcd by the luxury
of the same feelings: for he was awake
and up in his apartment, ATTENDED by four
monks. communicated my intelligence
with voluble eagerness, not only insult
ed to the respect owed these persons,
but which must have rendered me almost
unintelligible:yct they were good enough
not only to overlook this violation of de-
corum, which would, In any other case.
have been severely punished, but even
to supply certain pauscs in my narrative,
with a condescension and felicity truly
miraculous. felt what it was to acquire
Importance in the eyes ola Superior, and
gloricd in all the dignlied depravity of
an informer. We set out without losing
mOment-we arrived at the door ofthe
cell, and pointed out, with triumph, the
chain unremoved, though slight vibra-
ton, perceptiblc at our approach, showed
the wrctches were already appriscd of
their danger. / unfastcned the door
how they must have shuddered! The Su-
perior and his satellites burst into the cell
and held the light You tremble-why?
| was guilty, and wished to witness
guilt that palliatcd mine, at least in the
opinion of the convent. had only vio-
lated the laws of nature, but they had
outraged the decorum of convent, and,
of course, in the creed ola convent, there
was no proportion between our offences.
Besides was anxious to witness misery
that might, perhaps, equal or exceed my
own, and this is a curiosity not easily sat-
isficd. 1t is actually possible to become
amateurs IA suffering. have heard of
men who have travelled into countries
where horrible executions were to be dai-
ly Witnessed, for the sake of that excite
mcnt which the sight of suffering never
fails to give, from the spectacle of a trag-
cdy, or an auto da fe, down to the writh-
ings Of the meanest reptile on which you
can inhict torture, and feel that torture is
the result of your own power 1t is a
species of feeling of which we can new
cr divest ourselves-a triumph over those
whose suffcrings have placed them below
us-and no wonder; suffering is always
an indication of weakncss-we glory in
our impcnetrabilty. did, as VIC burst
into the cell. The wretched husband
and wife were locked in each others
arms. The Superior stood astonished
and appalled, to see two human beings of
different sexes who dared to love each
other in spite of monastic ties.
Whatever aflcctation he might employ
on points of convcntual austerity, there
was none here. Love was a thing he al
ways believed connected with sin, even
though consecrated by the name of sac
ramcnt, and called marriage, as it is in
our church. But, love in a convent! Oh!
there is no conceiving his rage; still less
is it possible to conceive the majestic and
overwhelming extent of that rage, when
strengthened by principle and sanctifed
by religion. enjoyed the scene beyond
all power of description. | saw those
wretches, who had triumphed over me,
reduced to my level in moment-their
passions all displayed, and the display
placing me hero triumphant above all.
| had crawled to the shelter olthelr walls
wretched, degraded outcast, and what
was my crime; Wcll-you shudder: Il
have done with that. can only say want
drove me to it. And here were beingsI
whom, a few months before, ! would have
knclt to as to the images round the shrine
to whom, in the moments ofmy desperate
penitence, | would have clung as to the
"hons of the altar" all brought as low or
lower than myself "Sons of the morn
ing" as ] deemed them in the agonies of
my humiliation, show were they iallcn!"
Toasted OH the degradation of the apos-
tate monk and noyice-l enjoyed to the
core of my liberated heart, the passion
of the SUPERIOR felt that they were all
men like myself Angcls,as Ihad thought
them, they all proved themselves mortals;
and by watching their motions, and flat
tering their passions, and promoting their
interest, or setting up my own in oppo-I
sition to them all, which made them be-
lievc il was only theirs | was intent on, |
might make SHIFT to contrive as much mis-
cry to others, and to carve out as much
occupation to myself, as if were actu-
ally living in the world. Cutting my ll-
Tiers throat was u noble feat certainly,
{ | ask your pardon, did not mean to ex-
tort that groan from you,) but here were
hearts to be cut-and to the corc-every