The Arkansas advocate., 1830-07-07

I VI SOiiffiS Aiieo t0ul oaAeP oAiu oiIe1ICitHS S up and pouring down gratis, your rum. whiskey and gin?-Of entering your
 store and borrowing a bandanna or
 twc?-Of going to your house and beg ging the milk you have bought for your coffee, or the meat you have purchased
 for your dlnneri
 60 the infamous scoundrelw you
 wouldsay-buthush hush! do not pro- nounce q heavy judgment, till you have first pulled that monstrous great beam out of your own eye.
 Kentucky Hqms vs. Kankee Nanegs.
 The Kentucky .Nation have conamenc-
 ed riyalship with Yanlee-land, in the
 manufacture of wooden eatables. A
 merchant in our town, desirous of pre-
 curing a lot of choice Bacon Hams, re-
 quested his agent at the Gulf to make
 the purchase for him from the boats passing down the Mississippi. After i. many iruitlees enquiries of the passing craft, he met with Q Kentucky Jona- than, whose loading was composed of the incest and choicest Hams, all can vassed; and the one which was shown as a sample, looked so we'll and tasted ] iso delightfully."-, that the oonfding agent made the purchase on the spot. The new Jonathan had such an innocent, ansuspeeted and unsaspecting counte- nance too-giving forth no scintillations of viyaeity, nor evideneing the owner topossess t' brains above anoyster shell, " on any other subject than that of curing bacon--the art of which appeared to be impressed on his brain, as drippings wear the rock, or the knowledge of law and physic is made available by some members of those honorable professions --who could suspect him of perpetrat- ing a miscellaneous or original act?- Straws show which way the wind blows; but the human countenance presents a mysterious enigma to the reader. Not wishing to break in abruptly upon the reflections of the cireumspect peryser of editorial articles, ehcited by the sage remark immediately preceding this sen- tence, we state the fact at once. The Hams, when opened, proved 10 be wood, neatly turned in the shape of a hog's hind leg; aud the Kentuckian showed that he was Sup to a trick or two." Ali will agree that he was "pretty toierable cute. ."-Port Gibson Correspondent.
 Diamond cut Diamond.-A few weeks ago sporting character" looked in at the Hygein Hotel, just to see if he could fall in with any subjects, but find- ing none, and understanding from the respectable proprietor, MT. Parks, that he could not be accommodated with q private room wherein to exercise the mysteries of his craft, felt the time be- gin to hang heavy on his hands; so in order to dispel ennui he took out peck of cards and began to amuse the by islanders in the bar-room with a number of ingenious tricks with them, which soon dfewa crowd around him. "Now," said he after giving them a good shuttle and skipping the pack down upon the table, "i'll bet any man ten dollars l can cut the Jackof hearts at the first at tempt" Nobody seemed inclined to take him up, however, till at last a weatherbeaten New England skipper, in pea,jac}sct stunpt him by exclaim- ing ssDarned if I don't bet you! But stop; let me see if a}fs right Then taking up and inspecting it as if 10 see that there was no deception in it, here turnedit to.the table, and began to fum- ble about in 2 side pocket, first taking out a jack-ixnife, thensa twist of tobac- co, 6se. till he produced roll of bank notes, from which he took one of S10 and handed it to by-stander; the gam bier did the same, and taking out pen knife. and literally cutting the, pack in two through the middle, turned with an air of triumph to the company. and de- manded if he had not cut the 5ack of hearts. "No, I'll be darned if you lhave," basled out Jonathan, < fof here l 1t is safe and sound.n Atthe sameaime producing the card from his pocket, whither he had dexterously conveyed it while pretending to examine the pack. to see fit was sall right.' The com pany were convulsed with laughter