Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-01-26
THE PHILOSOPHICAL APPLE WOMAN.
"My mind 10 me kingdom, 10.

"My mind 10 me n kingdom Is.
Is is nonsense to ak OF "ihe learned" as he
ing the only wise par, If mankind. There is
many an unlettered fellow who can turn his
wits 10 better accoun, than professor, while
there are not few Of the eruoie VINO have
hardly wisdom enough to 60 in when II rains;
not that We are altogether of honest D"sbrrrv's
opinion, to write and read come by nature;
bur the truth is, "a man may have shr'"d
noddle who never figured among the knowing
ones.
Twas led into these reflection. by contem-
plating, the other day, hit philosophical de
mearor Of an ancient applewoman on Long
Wharf. This reflex Of the olden day, has KEEP
her station there with her vendibies OF fuit
and ginger bre adj, lime out uf mind, and save
diurnai locomotions at morning and evening,
she is as much part and pircei' OF The b"s'
ton Pier as one Of The POSTS. She has an a6
solu,e immunity from all ne VACATIONS, rubs
and crosses which are part OF the r'uniriPe
economy. Cons abIes do not venture 10 De
saucy 10 her Aldermen make their manners
before her; truckmrn dare MOI jus'lt her: hand
cartmen are mannesly, and auclioneers dumb
in her presence.
She was talking with one Of our principal
mere chants, who stood on the side walk near
her: he wss munching an apple and grumbling
OF hard times.
Terrible times, Mrs. -, terrible times,
people all failing; no money, don't know what
we are all coming TO-
Terrible times, indeed, MIR. Sna'ehcopper.
10 thar your ship yonde,"
Yes, but she has cost me a monstrous sum
I have morrgaged all my real sssa'si aud hir-
ed money TO build her
That. an excellent plan, Mr.. Sna'cheopp.
er. Every man would not have shown so
much prudence.
Eyes, yes, am obliged 10 pay an enormous
interest for The money; but then ] expect the
voyage will bring me 10 al least FIFTY per
cent
Really. Sir. thai is a magnificent prospec';
aud when you have pockeled all this profit,
what will you do wish the money?
i neon 10 speculate in real estate, and
bsild a lot OF housrs which shall clear me
twenty FIVE per cent upon the CAPT al
And when you have got the money-as Of
course you will, making such nice calculations
what next!'
'rhen will pu, j, into manufac;u ring stock
aud make twenty FIVE per cent more.
'And thea
sAnd then l will invest il in the rail road
stock which will be jus, about rrsdy be
taken up. I shall clear thirty per cent more by
it,
And rhen!-
Anil then will commence underwater, and
in shorI lime double The whole
And hen Mr.. Sna chopper, after you have
made fifty psrcen, by he voyage, twenty 1--WE
rer cent by Tho real estate speeuia' ion, ivy. n,y
FIVE per cent by The manufac tories, 80 per cent
by he rail road, and double the whole by I'M
drrwri,,ng, whs, will you do with this grand
total
'Put /, into the funds and live on the inter-
est
How much are you worth now, Sir?'
9Th, ak me g. ff y thousand dollars
'AIl Of which you are riskIng upon this
chanc~!'
Yes LreslIy think it is a grea, plan
so do ], MIR. Sna chopper; but how did
you con,rivr 10 raise he money so qui Tor
this undettaking?'
Oh! only by endorsing for few Of my friends,
all safe enough
He had hardly said this, when some one
came running up-Oh! Mr.Sna,chcopp'r, have
YOU heard he news! p, and O., and
K, all gore
mercy on me, exclaimed Mr.. Sna,cheopper,
then am ruined; hsye endorsed for them
sll.' So saying, he was Of ike q fash Of
lightning.
.rnere? said the OLD philosophical apple
woman, that is the way it has gone these hf'y
years. Empires are overturned and fortunes
go 10 ruin, bur my table keeps IN it, legs.
I SPIN NO PROJECTS" Boston Gaiary.
Notice.