Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-01-16
From the GALAXY and Boston Mercury
FOR THE YEAR 1880

I'm grand hon1me n1ouyrd ceffe sn1ee, Ell tHy aura
desnaufrages -ALMASAc DE LIEoE.
Ihr year 1880 will be Z very escn,ful oae -
| 10 every old maid who gets married.
Throughout the whole course nf The wear.
Whenever tie moon waves the night will grow
dark
Those who have eebs 10 pay, and no cash.
will lose heir credit.
II is 81, obable thai If there is no business
doing, people will complain 81 hard times, but
il is Ger ain rha: 'hose who hang III ;nscl' eS
will escape starving 10 death. Any man wnp
spends faster than lie earns will not be richer
al the end Of the year than he was a, The be.
ginning which is moe certain stil. He iha'
bites off his own n0se'or turns politician, viii
acl like q fool, and tina, is the mos, certain Of
ali
II bishop sleeves 60 gu, Of fashion there will
be more elbow roum amoug the ladies. II to-
ques follow, we may perhaps see over their
heads. lf either Of them should be 'alked oil,
there VIII b. much ado about nothing.
Many man will grow rich this ysar-in a
dream.
The coming session Of Congress will he one
of unc ommon nlc,est and Importance. This
cannot fail of proving tine, because it has been
said every year regularly, ever since we have
had remembrance.
If dsndies wear their boards there will he less
work for the BARRIERS. He who wears musta-
chios will have some thing TO sreeze at He
who does riIier will look ike rutfian, and we
pray all such to keep out Of our sight
IF the incumbent Of Fat office should die
there will be SC ore Of feet ready To- step in,o
one pair Of shoes
II any old miser dies, i, will occasion the
A .c.>.o, ,I,a ian, y
He who raa-ries during this year will run a
! great risk tina, is, If he does it in hurry
| lie who steals match will make tal'leas gos-
SIP and &c, himself in . scrape.
| He that i. pennYless This yeor will not grieve
much at he foll Of socks. He who grows old
without growing wise, will be long time com.
! ing 10 years OF discretion He who wants to
borrow money will know the value Of il. He
who laughs at his own dull jokes, or hunts for
a Cd, with three legs, or brc"mrs candidate
for Office, will rival homes, Dreberry, and be
cop,en, 10 write himself an ass"
There will be- more books published thi,
year han viii fad pure hasers; more rhymes
written than will FIND readers; and more bills
made han wiil'fnd payers
| Whoever is in love This year will think his
mistress an angel Whoever ge,s married, will
end ou, whether il be true
| II. that loses his hair this year will grow
| bald lie tha' loses his wife will become a
widowrr He that loses bis cash must sell off
stock, or 90 10 the brokers, from whom hea
ven preserve US!
II any young .sdy should happen to blush, or
! basic turkey this year, sue will look red IN
! tho face. IT she dreams OF young man three
tights in succession, i: will be aign Of some
thing. " one dream Of him four times, or have
he tooihscbe, it is ten 10 one that she is d
long time getting Glitter Of them out of her
head
| If men builds house this year without
counting he cost, he will know more at he
md of his undertaking Than at he beginning.
| IF any one jumps overheard without know.
| iag how TO swim, IL is Two 10 one tina, hs gets
drowned Ifany one lends an umbre Va, il IS
ten to one that he is obliged 10 60 home IN the
rain Cor his psins.
| There will be grea: noise shout the coun
,ry-whcpever it thunders;s AND gres' dust
will be kicked up-hy coaeb't ss-unirss he
roads are Mac adamized ~
| Whoever runs in debt his year will be dun.
ned. Whoever hires money out Of the bank
will be in no hurry 10 see the last day Of grace
| Whoever is out al the elbows viii think OF a
TAILOR Whoever is high upon The score and
and low in the aocket, will think Of the Drpu
| Sheriff.
Whoever makes the discovery that the world
is given 20 lying, will do wha' Jack FaIs'sf has
done before him.
Many an old sinner will resolve to turn over
o new leaf this year, but the new leaf will turn
out blank. Many fond fool will jump into
| a houev-po,--snd fnd 1, musisrd-wiihout
being able to say with ,hr Ay, Pm off,
Many ,hings will be wondered at this year,
| and turn out not to be miracles. Many great
m4n will tell 6ne story to which Mr. Burchell
would have said Fudge"
Finally, we are Of opinion that this will be q
wonderful yrar-jus, like all hs' lave gone be-
fore it Politicians will make fool, Of ,hem-
selves, .et,,fogg-rs will make fools Of others, &
women with pretty faces will make fools Of hem
selves and others. The world will 60 round
aud come back 10 the place from which il Sc,
out, and this will be the cour e Of many man
who should be up and doing. There will be
greet cry and little wool, as at a shearing Of
pigs or session Of Congress