Wheeling compiler. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [i.e. W. Va.]) 1829-1831, 1830-06-30

Ing Wooden-headed
Ms, T. Yes, the school-master that's
boarding here.
lnq. | suppose if be has a wooden head,
he lives without eating, and therefore must
be profitable boardor.
Mrs. T.. 0 nc, sir, you are mistaken
there. lie eats like leather Judgment
Inq. How many slaves are there belong
ING to the fnmily!
Mrs. T. Slaves. Why there's no slaves
but and nay husband.
lao. What makes You and your hus-
band slavesl
Mrs. Il. am slave to hard work and
he's a slave to rum. He does nothing all
day, but guzzle, guzzIe, guzzlc; while !
am working, and tewing and sweating
from morning tjll night, and from night t'i
morning
Inq. How many FREQ colorcd persons
have you!
NlrA 4. Why there's nobody bat D-
ana tie black gil, Poll Parrot and my
daughter Sue.
In. Is your daughter a cOlOred gIrl!
Ms. T. guess you'd think so If you
waste see her. She's always out in the
sun-aud shes tanned up as black as an
Indian.
bq. How many white males arc there
in our family under ten years Of age!
.Irs. T. Why there amt none now
m, husband don't carry the mail since
Eho5 taken to drink so bad. He used to
cary two but they wasn't white.
! .nq. You mistake, good woman; !
.ment male folks, not leather mails.
Irs. 7. Why, let me see; there's none
except little Thomas, and Mr.. Jenkins
two little girls.
no. Males, / said, Madam, not ie-
macs.
Ms. T. We'll, if You dOn't like The f.
youmay leave it OF.
la. How many white males are there
between ten and twenty!
Mrs. T. Why there's nobody but John
and Peter; and John run of last weeS.
la. How many white ma,es arc there
between twenty and Thirty!
Mrs. L. Let me sce--,here's the wood
en-. beaded man is one, Mr.. Jenkins and
his wife is two and the black glIl is
three.
Ina. No more ofyour nonsense, old la
lynn heartily tired of it.
Mrs. +. Hoity-toityl hay'nt a right to
Ialk as please in my own house!
Ina. You must answer the questions as
u put them.
! Mrs. T. "Answer a fool according to
Ibis folly"--you're right, Mister Hippo
Igrif.
Lao. How many white males arc there
between thirty and fortyl
Mrs T. Why there's nobody but and
my husband-lnd he was forty-oae last
March.
Ina. AS you count yourself among
the males, dare say you wear the bree'
Iches.
Mrs. +. VOL, what if | do, Mister I'm
Dertinencel Is that any thing to you!
Mind your own business, if you please.
lac. Certainly did but speak. How
many white males are there between forty
and ifty2
Mrs. u. None.
Inq. How many between fifty and sixty!
/ Mrs. Il. None.
Inq. Are there any between the and a
! hundrcdl
Mrs. z. None--axcep, the old gentle
man.
Inc. What cl3 gentIemanl You hayn'i
mentioned any before.
Mrs. T. Why, gramther GrayIing-l
Thought every body knew gramther Gray
lnp-he'5 hundred and two years old,
co0e august, if he lives so long-and !
dare say he viii, for he's got the dry wilt,
and they say such folks never dies.
The census man having inquired the
number Of females of the different agcs
and received the like satisfactory answers,
next proceeded to inquire the number OF
deaf and dumb persons.
Mrs. II. Why, there's no deaf persons.
excepting husband. and he AMT 90 deaf
as he pretends to be. When any body
axes hun 10 take drunk Of rum. If it's on
ly 10 a whisper, he can hear quick enough
ButifI tell him to fetch az armlul Of wood,
Or feed the pigs, or tend the griddle, he's
as deaf as a horse-block.
laq. How many dumb Persons2
Mrs. II. Dumb Why, there's no dumb
body in the house, except the wooden hea-
ded man, and he never speaks unless he's
spoke 10. To be sure, my husband wish.
es was dumb, but be can't make 1t out
Ilq. Are there any manufactures CARR
ed on here!
Mrs. Il. None to speak or, exccp. tur-
nip sausages and tow-cioth.
Inq. Turnip sausagcs.