The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1830-02-11

"i"So NC w, WIN PHlosupuiCdi anu III
quiring eye. and courting experience fo
the sake Of my fellow creatures, canno
but lament the short and imperfect oppor
tunity | enjoyed Of filling that elevate,
situation, which so few men are destined
10 occupy. II is sort Of Egg Premier
ship; place above your fellows, but .
place in which your hands are tied. You
are not without tho established political
vice,for you are not absolved from turning
Let me give brief description Of the
short irregular glimpse | had Of mon and
things, while was in Pillory Power.
was raised TO il, as many men are to high
stations, by my errors. merely made q
mistake Of some sort or other in an answer
in Chancery, not injurious to my interest,
and 10! the Recorder of London, with a
suavity Of manner peculiar to himself, an,
nounced to me my intended promotion; and
in due time | was installed into office.
1t was hno day for the pillory; that is
10 say, it rained in torrents. Those only
who have had boarding and lodging like
mine, can estimate tho comfort Of having
washing into the bargain.
| IL was about noon when I was placed.
Ike n statue, upon my wooden pedestal;
an hour probably chosen out OF consdera-
ton TO the innocent little urchins then let
out 0f school, for they are a race notorious
y fond of showing, pitching, jerking, pelt
ing, slinglng-in short, professors ofthrow
ing in all It's branches. The public officer
| presented me first with north front, and
there ! was-"God save the mark like
a cock at shrovctido,lay figure in Shoot
ing Galley
The storm commenced: Stones began to
split-mud ito muzzle- cabbage stalks
| thlckened into a shower. Now then came
4 dead Ntten-sometimes living cur, u
non an egg would hit me OH the eye, an
! offence was forced to wink at. There is
a strange appetite IN human kind for pelt-
ing fellow creature.-A travelling China
man actually threw away two pence to
have pitch at me with a pipkin; a Billings
gate huxter treated me with a few her
| rings, not by any means too stale to be pur.
chased in 81. Giles; while the weekly half
pence of the school boys went towards tho
support Of q Costermonger and his donkey.
who supplied them with eggs fit for throw.
ing, and for nothing else. confess this
asst description of missiles, If missiles tbey
light be called that never niss'd, annoyed
nae more than all the rest; however, there
wss no remedy. There | was forced 10
stand, taking u2 my livery, and vile live.
ry It was; or ssth wag expressed il, "be.
ing made free Of the Peltmongers."
1t was time to appeal to my recources.
had read somewhere OF an Italian, who,
by dint Of mental abstraction, had rendered
hmselfuncouscious of the racks, and while
The eXecutloners were tugging,wreDching,
twisting, dislocatiDg, and breaking joints,
sincws, and bones, was perchance in fancy
only performing his diurnal Gymnastics,
or undergoing all smicable Shampoong.
The pillory was mlder instrument than
the rack,and naturally lively ina gination;
it seemed plauSibly, therefore, tha, might
make shit to be pelted in my absence.
To attain scene as remote az possible
from pain, selected one Of absolute pleas
! ure Tor the experiment; no other, in truth,
than that Persian Paradise, the Garden of
Gul at the Feast Of Roses Flapping the
wings Of Fancy, with all my might, ! was
speedily in those Bowers OF Bliss, aud al
high romps with Hour and PERI
"Flinging roses al each other"
But, alas for mental abstraction. The
very FIRST bud hit me with stone like vehc.
mence; my next rose Of the cabbage kind.
brcathed only arnhk cabbage fragrance !:
and in another moment the claws OF ny.
ing cat scratched me back into myself; &
there | was again, in full pelt in the pill
lory.
Ny first fftcen minutes, the only quar-
ter | met with had now elapsed, and my
face was turned towards the East. The
first object my one eye fell upon was heap
of fMacadsmiZation, and confess ] never
thought ofcnlculating the number ofstones
in such a hillock, till saw the mob pre-.
pairing to cast them up.
! | expected to be autographed on the
spot. Instinct suggested 10 me that the
only way to save my life was by dying; so
dropping my head and hands. and closing
my las, eye with terrific grown, ! expired
for the present. The ru1 took effect
Supposing me to be defunct, the mob re-
fused 10 kill me. Shouts Of "Murdor
Shame! Shame No PiIlosy =, burst from
ell quarters. The Pipkin.monger abused
the Fish woman who rated the Schoolboys;
they in turn fell foul Of the Cos,ermonger,
who was Kissing and groaning at the whole
assembly; and finally, phIlsn,bropic Con.
stable took the whole group into custody.
10 tho mean time | was taken down, laid
with sack over me in cart. And driv.
en- otto an Hospital, my body seeming a
very proper present TO st. Bartholomew
or ST. Thomas's, but my clothes fit for no
thing but Guy's.--[iood's Comic Annual. ]
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