Virginia advocate. [volume] (Charlottesville, Va.) 1827-1860, 1830-07-09
MISCELLANEOUS.
THE PHILOSOPHICAL APPLE WOMAN
"My mind to me king dom is

My mind to me kingdom is"
1t is nonsense to talk OF g the learned"
as being the only wise part of mankind.
There is many an unletlered fellow who
can turn his wits to better account than a
professor. while there are not a few of the
erudite who have hardly wisdom enough
to goin when 1t rains; not that we are al
together of honest Dogberry's opinion, Ito
write and read come by nature but the
truth is is man may have a shrewd nod
die who never figured among the knowing
ones.
was led into these reflections by con-
tenpating, the other day, the philosophi-
cal demeanor of an antient apple woman
on Long Wharf. This relic of the olden
day, has kept her station there with her
vendibles of fruit and gingerbread, time
out of mind, and save diurnal iocomotons
at morning and evening, she is as much
part and parcel of the BJstnn Pier rs
one Of the posts. She has an absolute i'm.
| munitv from all the vexations, rubs and
CROSSES which are part Of the principle
economy. Constables do not venture to be
saucy to her 4; Aldermen make their man
ners before her; truckmen dare not JUS
| tie her; hand-carlmen are mannerIy,
and auctioneers dumb in her presence.
She was talking with one of our princi-
| pal merchants, who stood on the side walk
near her he was munching an apple and
grumbing of hard times.
Terrible times, Mrs. -, terrible
times. people all failing no money,
don't know what we are all coming to-
Terrible times, indeed, Mr.. Snatch
copper. Is that your ship yonderP
Yes, but she has cost me monstrous
sum. l have mortgaged all nv real
estate ; and hired money to build her,
| That's an excellent plan, Mr. Snatch
copper. Every man would not have shown
so much prudence
Yes, yes, | am obliged to pay an enor-
nous interest for the money; but then |
expect the voyage will bring me in at least
fifty per cent
Really, Sir, that is magnificent
prospect; and when you have pocketed
all this profit, what will you do with the
money?
mean to speculate in real estate
and build lot Of houses which shall
clear me twenty-five per cent upon the
capital
'And when you have got the money--as
of course you will, making such nice cal
culations-what next 2
Then | will put it into maDufactur
ing stock, and make twenty-five per cen
more
and then will invest it in the rail roat
stock which will be just about ready to be
taken up. l shall clear thirty per cen
more by it,
and then -
And then | will commence under
writer, and in short time double tn,
whole
And then Mr.. Snatchcopper, after yo,
have made fifty per cent by the VOYAGE
twenty-five per cent by the real esta,,
speculation, twenty-five per cent by tn,
manufactures, thirty per cent by the raj
road, and double the whole by under
writing, what will you do with the grant
total
Put it into the funds and live on tn,
interest,"
How much are you worth now. sirp
Il
They tax me for fifty thousand dol
lars
| All of which you are risking upon tbi
chance
yes really think it is great plan
80 do |, Mr.S'atchcopper; but how die
you contrlve to raise the monsy so quicl
for this underiakingP
Oh! only by endorsing for a few of m,
friends, safe enough,'
| He hardly said this, when some one
came running up-Ohl Mr. Snatcbcopper
have you heard the news! p - ant
o., and x, all gone.
Mercy on me exclaimed Mr.. Snatch
copper, 'then | am ruined; have endo,.
sed for them all
So saying, he was off like flash o
lightning.
! 'TbereP said the old philosophical ap