Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1830-08-21
HAYNE.
From The July No ofthe London Ns'O lHonfhty
Magazine
MY COUSINS TOILETTE.


vhy art thou thus sttired,- Titus .7nd,onieus.
Secs, thou not what a dcfnrmed thief this
Esshlon ,l-.NIch lido about Nothing.
LONDON, May 90, 1880.
Nh dear Cousin: proceed to re-
deem nv valedictory pledge of pointing out
few habimentary inconngruities into which, du-
ring my rustication among YOU, the practised vi
sion of a metropolitan eye failed not to discover
YOU to have been betrayed. First and foremost,
off with that Mambrino's helmet which you are
pleased to dignity with the appellaton of bonnet.
We live in the nineteenth century; in times inl-
mical to chcck-b jow greetings in the market
place; such salutations went out with the far.
thingales of antiquity, and yet you walk beneath
the Shade of a regular :. kiss-me-if-you- :"
cast it of forever, for wherefore lay behind the
world? wherefore be the lady in the straw, while
Louise breahes. and Girat walks the earth?
Your head, Dorothy, is good; ply
siosnomically, phrenologicallv, callignomically
rood: Nature has done much, but art must do
more; it is not enough that ''your alahaster
forehead is hung with locks that glitter like Hy-
perions,'' if those locks straggle as if ''woocd
bv each !E-ean wind" aud float upon the gale.
wild and ungovernable. the emblem of your own
buoyant spirit. Think not that would COM
mend :. that truculent distortion of the tresses
lately prevalent, the atrocious frizzing and gi-
rafting of deluded people; but - applaud to
the very echo' the simply elegant, the exquisite
" graceful style. called the ,oque: the more ge-
neral adoption of which would save US many
painful enumeration of the various ways OF
dressing calls head" Will this, then, be-
come all?'' methinks hear you exclaim. "By
no means: ringlets are endurable OCCASIONALLY
few, the Junos of the creation, may emulate
Pasta in Medea, and some almost venture upon
a-no. not a crop--Hebe herself could not dare
that with IMMUNITY. Oh! that Croppies lie
down. were the stirring cry OF vengeance to ears
polite oh! that it were the tocsin of' war even
to the knife !"-oh! that mine enemy would wear
a crops Heads en- foque become not all Shout
ders; but recommend the style-albeit rejoic-
ing most in the gloriously fronted-as kind of
refuge for the destitute.-a sanctuary to which
your sex may fly from the visitations of depraved
taste originally and aggregately not title
Strong as is my creed upon this point, there Is
another which would maintain at the stake it.
self; namely, that earrings are an idolatrous and
heathenish abomination. As the sun sbneth, l
believe them to be unsightly relics of barbarous
are FIVE are to retain the customs OF savages,
why exempt the nose from its annular appendage?
Whv subject so delicate a feature as the ear to
the tormentor. after the emancipation of its more
obtrusive neighbour The ear, independently OF
its abstract beauty. is no mean index OF charac-
ter: bad one never hung from good head: the
path of the lopeared, whether in the quadrllle or
the forest, cross not willingly: be it MISTRESS or
be it friend-be il woman, or be it mantle
Il would observe once for all, that these re-
marks are general-every rule has its exceptions.
know one becoming crop, but the wearer Of
that would reconcile US to any thing: she is love-
" in spite Of her crop.