The Northern star, and farmers' and mechanics' advocate. [volume] (Warren, R.I.) 1830-1834, 1830-04-10

THE OLD MAID's FIRST " oFYER."
msst tell you the heart-rending sto-
y-I have long wished to do so, and the
time IL It length arrived" Here the
voice dropped iuto . solemn confidential
whisper !" Poor dear Major Ogilvie, who
is now dead and gone-heigho had
been long showing nae very marked atten-
tons, in fact, paying me his addresses,
though he had never made his declara-
ton when one morning, after having sung
me song Of FarinelIi's, the music ! be-
lieve was Gluck's-sh you should have
heard the Major, he Vos sweet singer
well, the Doctor had gone out to buy a
new invented fsh hsauce,-poor, dear man!
he does like to hove his fsh well dressed,
-and ! remember he took Franchette my
little beauty ola spaniel, with him, 80 that
the Major and were all alone in the
aklast parlouI, when, looking Ieseech-
ingly in nay face, be suddenly went down
upon one knee before ne-ah there uas
gallantry in those days !-and taking my
hand, which he tenderly pressed, made a
passionate avowal ofhis love |! l felt my
selfblushiug crimson deep, when at this
agitating moment, just a. I was about to
utter palpitsting confession ofmy partial
ity, my eyes began to twinkle, / felt ting
ling as my mouth opened in spite of myself
and / sneezed, like IN explosion of gum
powder, full in his upturaed and imploring
face ! Now tell me, Lady Susan, you
know how tremendously always sneeze,
did you ever ? OfsH the awkward occur
rences The Major started, as, indeed
well he might, bat presently recovered him
self, so did 1 he gazed at me tenderly ,and
Twas Just about to relieve him from his sus
pense, when l sneezed with second, and
still louder explosion, that seemed to Eshat
ter the very nose from my face. This ,ras
confusion Still pressing my imprisoned
hand, but looking downards, as if to avoid
the shower bath that was so unintention-
ally scattering around me, he swore that
he would never rise from his posture until
l had pronounced his doom. / uttered a
heartfelt sigh, and the soft ayowal of fmutu-
al love was just trembling upon the tip Of
my nose Lady Susan, Lady Susan ! it
was beginning to bleed did you ever 2
OfaU the distressing moments II strug-
gled to withdraw my hand that might get
my handkerchief, an action which the Ma
did but grasp it the more firmly. In Snls
contest, after had frightfully spotted my
tabbinet silk gown, three blood drops of an
unusal large size fell upon the Majors
wrist He started up in an agony; l clos
ed my eyes and sunk into a chair over
whelmcd with confusion. Imagining L
had tainted, the Mejor hastily seized q.
large tumbler Of water which stood on a.
side table, and threw Il IN my face. At.
such an unexpected sousing, ! screamed
with surprise and terorr the Mareschal
powder which I then wore.--1 was al
ways famous for my powder )-mingling
nv iscs int . hideous spectacle, tho door
flew open, the faithful Franchette, think
ing her mistress had been slain, few at
the poor deer Major and bit largo mouth
full out Of his lsft leg, while the transfxees
and horror stricken Doctor suffered tho
newly discovered fish sauce to fall from
his hand, and be smashed to pieces upon
floor My dearest Lady Sussn ! consid-
er what mtst have been my feelings did
you ecsr? twss altogether scene ior.a
tragedy"
pgut:.s:.e of N..s VII -Thora arm SG