Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Mass.) 1828-1830, 1829-04-28

Italian grapes, so tar are thy asunder,
And as for the space between the threads
Of fine muslins, why Dandy Jack upon
his Shetland: pony. would not require a
larger circlest0 EXHIBIT his feats Of horse
manship. CD
MRS RoYALD.
This non descript female is out again with
her Black Book in which we are told, she
discovers as much of folly and perhaps, of
demence as in her former forth outings
She is particularly vituperative of missiona-
ries, and every thing belonging to the cleri-
cal order. The following is letter from
her to Major Noah, Judge in Israel, Ex-Sher-
if, Ex-Consul, &c. &c.
wAsHNGToN CITY, APRIL 4, 1929.
BEST OF MEN You will receive
herewith small token of my gratitude
and respect. My friend Morgan will
send you two copies of the third volume
Of my Black Book. You will find it anus
ing. But, dear Mr. Noah, lament to
say that | lost the sale of my second vol
ume, in consequence of several disorders
in the moral and physical world, which
the philosophers Qazy dogs) have not ye-
explained. Mr.. 80 tried few of the book
sellers of your city, but their excuse was
~ bitoDoOtM g. too hard" What a
pTiest-riddeI3 set! l only wish that John
Knox Of Ignatks .Loyald lived in our day.
II wonid put thehft own in my Book, and
pickle them lor postefity, equal to any of
these Egyptian mummies. which have
been perambulating the country.
! Talkyabout "fascally postmasters' =
Fudge The phrase ought to run "ras-
]ssiiy booksellers But we authors must
always bleed for these follows. My CO.
Etemporaries; Madam de Stael and Jemima
Wilkinson, did so. MY rival, Lady Nor
gan, has been sadly abused by the book
sellers, and can Anne Royal expect to
escape am not ignorant ofthe proper
taste. Nothing like hard cutting, and
spice, to make books or papers go down,
and truth most of any. But | will no
longer intrude upon your precious time,
which know is discreetly used for the
good of the publick and the advancement
of the hdut ton.
| hate all pufs-you know do, l would
dispise to rise to eminence in this world
| in the manner the Missionaries do-by
uffing-puffing putting. 1t is mean
and contemplate way of making charac-
ter; and trust in heaven, they will suffer
for it, some day. only ask you to say,
that " there are sets of Mrs. Royals Black
Book for sale at Mr.. Morgan's, Franklin
Square" | know this will set your great
city on fire. Your friend, the f" Pink, "
will almost break his neck to get the first
Iperusal.
Before you publish this, think you had
better give the hint to all my particular
friends, such as Secretary Dwight, Stone,
&c. &c. sc, | wish them to be served
first, and then let the pubick rush as hard
as they like. The book contains full
history of my conflicts among the Goths
together with my journey to Washington
The latter is one of the most astonishing
round of incidents you have met with in
ancient or modern history. 1t exceed:
any novel you ever read ; and should moi
be surprised if Sir Waiter Scott were tc
shake in his shoes. | know that your
friend Bob Walsh, of Philadelphia, is in 9
fearful state of alarm about his literary
character. He may well tremble, for j
he does not agree to my compromise,
shall strip him as neatly as goose on
New-England thanksgiving days table.
/ would particularly call your attention
to my descriptions Of the Members Of Con
gress. They are the finest things in nat
ure. l am dreadfully pestered here will
the continual applications of the ADAM
office holders. Knowing very well m.
great influence, they think to save thei
necks by procuring my interest. Alder
man Binns of Philadelphia, wanted me t.
intercede for the Custom House printing
f which has lately been given to widow Bal
IH. Says I, Alderman, how much ma,
YOU have made out of the Coffin Hand
bills Z" The poor fellow fell to shaking
like an aspen leaf, and if / had not had
drop of cordial TO give him, | believe h
would have given US all slip. Alder
man, continued l, are you not ashamed t
take the bread out of the widows mouth
| am widow, too; I feel for widow
and if you do not return home and be qui
ct and still, I'll stick you into my blac
book The Alderman was then s.
, lent.
J However, in my large book on Penn
sylvania, | have saved a niche for hin
j General Ogle, God bless him !! is one
, the best men in the nation-most worth