The Massachusetts spy, and Worcester County advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1825-1831, 1829-08-26
NOTHING AT ALL.

| NOIHlNG All ALL.
TO write with grace and propriety about
nothing is not an easy task but to try to
do SO is very useful exercise of the pen.
since writer who practices successfully
this sort of composition, shall hardly fail to
write well and easily when he has any sub
stantlal matter to treat of. 1t is in this as
IN bodily exercises. The gymnastic pupil
Is set upon difficult movements and arduous
exertlons, which give strength and pliancy
to the limbs, and enables him to perform
the truly useful or necessary motions with
ease and gracefulness. | compose this pa
! per for such an exercise.
4 IO IuuIrs gvHCTdTTy oPvvIo.,
OF composition-that is to say, writing about
nothing. Witness the elegance Of their
eplstolary style, as it may be seen in many
publications of ladies' correspondence, both
in our own and other languages. There is
charming flow of pretty trifing, THAT is,
OF nothing) in their letters, which men are
very seldom able to produce. AS the ladies'
write about nothing better than the men,
so do they also excel the men in talking of
nothing. Talking of nothing is so different
a thing from saying nothing, that those who
talk of nothing commonly say the most
and | have frequently heard lady enter
tain circle whole evening in this man
ner, with great success-although, after
she had ceased, it was wholly impossible
to say what had engaged our attention.
The men who profess the art of small talk,
which is the same as talking about nothing,
are commonly great favortes of the ladies' /;
and the reason may be that the ladies have
the double qualification of seeing themselves
initiated, and of feeling their superiority in
that which is the subject of imitation.
1t Is not easy to distinguish between
something and nothing; for the skill of a
good wit will often give to nothing the
quality of something, while a dull fellow
will cause something to slip into the obscu-
risy of nothing. l have heard whimsical
story, which is very probably as untrue as
1t is unlikely, but which may serve for an
illustration here. A preacher desired much
to be allowed to preach before the king,
and at length obtained his suit on condition
his majesty should furnish the text, which
he promised to send him. The preacher,
however, received no communication from
the KING until ne was in the pulpit, when a
sealed packet without any superscription,
was put in his band-which on opening, he
found to contain nothing. The wit of the
preacher, however, stood him instead of
the toxt He turned the packet first one
way, and then another; there's nothing
here, he said, looking on the inner side
there's nothing here, looking again on
the outer side of the sheet, and from
nothing God created the heavens and the
earth; upon which he pronounced an ex-
cellent, learned and useful homy to the
great delight and admiration of his majesty
who did not fail to reward his wit and abil-
ity.
1t is curious fact that nothing often
means not only something, but a great deal.
Thus when a crash is heard in the kitchen
or hall and Betty, summoned by the mis-
tress' bell, is asked what is that? she re-
plies readily, "nothing, mu'am;" though
halt OF my lady's crockery be that instant
lying in fragments on the floor. Another
instance is, when lady has some extrava-
gance in dress or furniture, if she is asked
what such thing cost? she replies, "noth-
ing to signify which may be construed,
a great deal too much"
1t is proved every day in life, that nothing
may come to something; and it is a less
agreeable observation, that something fire.
quently comes to nothing in the same arena ::
industry and honesty cause the former phe-
nomenon-idleness and extravaganza, the
latter. Finally, let me hope l shall find
readers rather in that class of critics who
can be pleased with nothing, than among
those whom nothing pleases.
London Magazine.