The Massachusetts spy, and Worcester County advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1825-1831, 1829-10-14

tne way OF our compromising. How were
we ever to know each others heart and
soul, as we should be known to each other,
for the higher and holer purposes of mar
rage, we continued our intimacy? And
how If we did not? | never was so much
puzzled In my life.
80 TO cut the matter short, l concluded
to withdraw-but to do it so gradually as
to excite no remark, and only SO far that I
could keep an eye on her path, and return
to her when l pleased. This would leave
US at liberty not only to Judge, but to act
tor ourselves. Reader, | put it to you
was to blame? Would you advise any
body to buy pig in poke, or wife in
holiday dress? With more wit, perhaps, |
should have been safe ; with less know L
should. But | was like the birds that are
frightened away from the cornfeld by
piece of ragged cloth, or bit of woollen
yarn-I knew just enough to be made a
tool OF with impunity. Had I known less,
l should neither have seen nor suspected
a trap more, l should not have Keen
frightened with a bit of Dack-thread, nor
have mistaken coat for a man. But nv
beloved Bertha-who never cared fig for
the opinion of others, when it interfered
with her own, would not give up what she
insisted on calling our friendship; but beg
ged and prayed of me to continue to regard
her, as always had, like brother-bless
the dear girl whatever the gossips of the
nelghborhood might say. fl left her now,
people would think l did SO on account of
the reports-and here she blushed crimson
or that we had been quarrelling. AS for
herself, she was determined never to be
slave to the judgment of others. If her
conscience did not reproach her, why should
she heed the reproach of others? Not that
she would never make any sacrifice even. to
propltlate error-even to sooth prejudice :
but she never would make dsproportion-
ate one. Here glorious color overspread
the whole breadth of her low Greek fore
head, and the half blown roses there trem-
bled with sympathy. There was the tran
sit of star-like dream over her lighted
tace-a glow like that of a summer-sunset
in the depth of July, over the new dipped
water-hly; and her large hazel eyes ran
over with big drops Of light. could hardly
get my breath. For her own part, she had
never misunderstood me for a moment-the
having determined never to
marry, on account of her poor blind mother.
her voice faltered here, and it was as much |
as could do to keep from jumping up and
crying out, [ tciu have you, Bertha !! she !
would continue to be my sister, and | should |
be her brother, let people say what they
would. There was no standing this. saw
my danger. | knew that my plan was all
knocked in the head for ever, if | gave I'D.
Yet how could | refuse to be her brother,
only her brother, you know? What if it |
Shnul1 bor LII
never be realized And what if it did drive |
all other suitors away, and seal I'D the charm
OF her youth and beauty in the flush of her |
high maidenhood-why even that was no |
business OF mine, if she insisted on desiring |
it. knew that she would look upon me as
a lover, in spite of all her declarations to |
the contrary.
And how could hope to know her real |
character-3 her real character was not
what it should be, if did give up, if [ |
continued to visit her as intimately as be- |
fore-a lover in the disguise of brother ?
How could ever know that was preferred, |
If there was no obstacle in my way? Thus
l argued with myself And yet did give |
up. And why? Because loved hel. 1t |
was already too late for me to do otherwise |
than | did. But nevertheless, determined
to be wary, and to throw the neighbors upon |
a wrong scent, before they had driven us
into each others arms, in spite of her mod |
esty and my conscience, without allowing
us to get acquainted with each. other. II
played my part well-very well-for in
three months from the Gay | was re-instat
ed, poor Bertha was in grave, and was
looked upon as her destroyer-charged with
having broken her heart. AS | live, we
should have been married but fer their med
ding; and at the moment of her death, I |
would have gladly died with her.