Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1829-08-13
THURSDAY, AUGUST Is, 1929
The Pimsnto Family; or, Spoipd Children

E terewhile Mrs Penelope Harp"on, and daugh>
ter Of a Greenland trsder) is, on the con- airy,
remarkable for sort OF pepperiness OF temper
which acquired her the reputation OF vixcn
whist vet a mere mink, virago when virgin,
and Xaniippe now she is . wife. Her aoso'
lutte shah" was fiat not 10 br cohtravened IN
Lo,hbury during her maidenage, nor in Finsbu-
ry square, in her wifeagr; at least by beings
BEARING as little gall abou, them as the humble
aud nesce-lo,ing Sir Peter. II clerk or cook,
houOl maid or nurse maid, exhibited the slight
es, spice OF opposition to The home adninis-
tration, fhe house was dissolved sine die, and
The malcon,entens expelled, to find new con-
sriluents, il they could
Sir Pe,er in the three preparatory years OF
his welded infeliciiy, was on three several oc-
easions made happy though exceedingly lncom'
model by the production OF two sons and
daughter, TO be the Olive branches at his table
A hundred humble names, we're with all proper
submission, suggested by Sir Peter, as eogno-
mems for the crude Pimentos but were all and
severalIy overruled by the absolute il shall not
be Of his lady, and accordingly, Young Pimen
TO, No /, was chris,ened Allied; No. 2, Angus.
ius; No. 8, Amar an,ha. because she had been
pronounced by Mrs. Deputy Doerove lwho
was cul,iyalihg botany 10 be ihe Hover Of the
Pimentos. Sir Peter would have preferred he
Betty; but when he mu,tered, rather than aud
IDLY expressed his three wishes on that i'm
portan; head, toss Of another head, a dilatoh
Of he nostils, and frown, put down the inef-
fectual opposition; and the quet-loviDg mer-
chant succumbed away from the pertinacious-
ness OF his own spouse TO the price-current
ard the average Of runs, sugars, Singers, and
arrow root.
Twelve wears passed, and the young Pimen-
tos really began TO grow very interesting at
the dinner parties with which the hos2isbc
merchant entertained his friends during school
vacations, that the juveniles nigh, see some-
thing Of the world, aud the world see some-
thing Of the juveniles. Master Alfred could
rant the soliloqairs in Douglas, and, 10 shew
the versatility Of his genius, perform Lilile Pic
kle,' with an additional scene tgot up by Lady
PimspIo herself who began to be,rav symptoms
of bleu- ism3 in which he set hr- to a chin,z
curtain, broke some china chimney ornaments
upset dumb-waiter and fired a cracker under
the chair Of his indulsent papa. The several
parties who were made audiences Of his 2ranks,
pronounced him to be prodigy in mischief;
Lady P. was delighted while the judicious' Sir
Peter grieved.
Master Augustus was also prodigy, but in
another line. He could hit the house-cat on
the nose with blum, arrow five times out OF
n.
once out Of twice, fine did not break both cup
and egg at the frs fire. II was, indeed, pro.
phesied by The sporting paIr the city, that he
must ultimately become the first shoi Of his dsv.
Miss Aramanrha was the third prodigy--a
musical aud ;rical prodigy. Ia her eleventh
summer she could make verses; and, in her l2.h
marry metre 10 music, but, like most early
marriages, they tangled most deplorably. Her
master Seignior Sophrano, pronounced her, as
well as he could express his hattery, TO be a
'Biling,on in the bud:' and her ladyshp as
sugars were looking up in the market, raised
thu professors salary haf-a guinea per quarter
Under the instruction of the Sgnor. Miss A.
raman,ha had already began to scream out
''sounds il was misery to hear" and hump
the piano in such manner as was barbarous
to behold. Di piocsr, and Una vore poco ia, 6llcd
the town house IN Fins6ury with "discords
dire" the superAux half filing the area form
ing the square, aud frightening 'ha, mere hani-
neregaiiug spot "from It's propriety." Lady
p. however, and her cotsrie were delighted to
observe the devotion WI which the young la
dy went through the rudimenary mariyrdom
Of he's musical education.
IhaSe foredated principal incident in nv
history; for il was at this era h., Pc ter PlmeD.
TO, Esquire, became Sir Peter PIN. nto, Knight.
He had been elected Sheriff Of London; ant an
address ofcongratulation about something pro-
cured him The intoxicating honor of knight.
hood. Then il was that the pimenios "looked
sp;" and Sir Peter, after much special pleading
for the sake Of that peace Of which, as sheriff
he was public eonserva:or, rcluc,a nlly agreed
that more fashionable house, and more FASH
ionable neighbourhooe, were necessary to the
double digpi:aries Of sheriff and knight. Ac-
cordingiy, The Pimentos emigrated to Portland.
81
ihata residence so situated was too far from
The city for commerce, and too near for the
country air. One horn of this dilemma was
soon gilt over: Lady p. ,nsis,ed upon second
carriage. The merchant demurred, but in vain;
i, was ordered from Birch. Prince Leopold's
osilder; and Lady p. and Miss Aramantha kept
il in actiyity,-6rsi, by shopping-expediiions,
about the West End, in The morniug,-and>s e
csndly, By putting in appearances in The Park