Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1829-05-21

ter myself might be tasted with innoeenee.-
Eager 10 acouainr myself ~itE Its contents,
sent nv knife I'D to the hilt in lis softly y'eiG,
inp substance: but Just heaven! what strange
and unearthIy sounds came forth from ITS bow
els! Shrieks. hissings, sputlerings ana Duo.
blinps. like the voices Of a multitude, saluted
and Mortified nv ears! "Why is it, oh: man,
that again we are tormenteo! Was 1t not
enough that our shells were once before orutaiiy
and forcibly rendered apart, and :he tencer'
sensitive lreame of life cut and scraped from
the parent substance, to which nature had unit
ed it! In your folly, you believe an oyster TO
be without feeling, as almost without life! SUI
mid and scottish being. Is there no sensation or
enjoyment, think you, but IN creature reareu
upon two legs like masts, WIN roog" anu
unearthly head like the rugged size Of noun,
tain, and voice like the roaring OF 'he ocean,
1t is with some show OF Juailce mat We mann
tain,, tina, in your race so huge ana SO gross
there can be neither intellect nor sensioillty.
Our existence is one Of phil"soPhlc rePose' OF
calm and quiet enJoymS.' CoIo's more ori'
liant than the reflections OF diamonds, always
dance before our eyes in inhnileiy varying con-
tinua,ions. Music, such as angels near, or
Garcia made, floats around our ears, and SEN
sa,ions wholly indesoribsble and unappree iaoie
by your gross souls, secretly agia'e ana Gu
trance u.s. And are such beings 10 be mus
rudely dealt with! Torn from our pearly hous-
es, far down in the depths Of the ocean, cast
into smoking caldron, and boiled alive, or
fried in we'll compound OF grease and eggs,
or suffocated and s.ewed beneath mountain
Of paste: in the end 10 be speareG, and then
chewej by your abominab1e organs OF death!
For know that even now, life is not ex met:
and If (Which he ven gran,) it still be not, when
we have descended into taat cess>2ool OF the
stomach, we will cause such an u2roar there,
as shall make you dearly repent The sin OF your
be astly appetite; and in this, the superincum-
ben, paste shall nightly aid Us,
Hush your egotis,ieal prating," cried
slender voice, no, far of, which, on turning my
he ad, I perceived to proceed from large black
fish, who sat bolt upright al the end OF his dish.
" are your sufferlngs 10 be compared with
mine Snatche! from nv green retreats by
the cheating hook Of the wanton sportsman or
needy fisherman hung dangling IN the air,
pierced by the barbed iron, and then cast to
die Of suffocation on The ground, or split open
alive, and my inwards torn from their fas'en'
inps. and. ere half dead, broied or baked over
slow fire, deugpd in butter and spice! May
the rods interpose in our beh alt and strike pa
ralv,ic the tongue Of him who astcs ne ~
= Amen. amen !" shrieked dish Of chopped
lob.,.r. garnished With soft crabs, and is own
red legs. whi h inconrinently began to squirm
and crawl over he dish, "and ayevrry mou'h.
full Of our cold mt at (eold maugre all the mus
ard and pepper in the worId) that descends
in,o the stomach of man, breed govt ur palsy !!
o. the dire pargs of our Coaching, our mar
kr,ine. our wrenched i"g,, our pierced heads,
our boiling alive! Is there>a heart so hard
tina, i, will not melt at the recital Of our
wrongs" Unhappy lobster zoe weep for
them, and for our own, yet greater misery,
screamed a group of po,ted pigeons. "'he CIR
Gle of the vide heavens behrld not happier s2i-
ri,s than we, till greedy, cruel man cheated and
ensnared US {; and then, with slight applica
rion of The thumb 10 our slender necks, cracked
our life in twa ain, with as little remorse as boy
strike. off poppy heads with hi, hoop. May
our bones lodge in his throat, and our meat
tu1p to stone in his belly" That wish do we
heartily re,echo," cried turkey and pair OF
boiled fowls al the other end OF the board /;
" like yours, so were our necks twisted and
wrung, and our agonies, were we to-" But
what were they 10 mine," cried goose, with
his liver lyire beside him; almost as big as
himself, "who, after having my feathers time
out of mind, annually pluckeG from my skin,
where kind nature had fixed them, and where
she doubtless me mt tina, they should stay, was
tortured to death before a slow fire, that Gnlo.
seton nigh, stuff himself with this mountain
enirail."
At the recollection and recitation Of this in
human outrage, the agitated bird could no lon
ger retain the power OF distinc' u'rerance, bu'
broke forth at once into those lugubrious zones
so natural to i, when alive. The rest # the
dishes, too, were so affected by The greater a.
comics Of this mistry to The human stomach,
tina, they ore AID al uttered for their svmpa
,hies One chorus ofgroars, screams, hi sings
below gs, and shiieks, arose from the mui
la ed parts of he various beasts, birds fishes,
50 loud and So horrible, that it seemrd 10 me,
no field of va tie ever equaled it. Each crea.
,ure seemed to send forth again the cries Of its
death struggle. was struck dumb with hor-
ror mingled with grief, at the idea OF the un-
speakahle miseries Of which every dinner table
is the frequer, record. suddenly awoke, the
voice still ringing in my ears-my mouth dry
and parched-and rejoiced 10 find it was
n inca hoan oh IN