Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1829-03-04


dy. Can, ride baekerd; never could, gruntea
,alIow ,keech, in reply. Now it so happened,
that directly opposite to him sat tine bouncing
dame, fat, fair, and Fifty, tightly done up IN blue
braided broad.cloth, oserbung with gill Del
cher chain, almost big enough for chainc aole'&
she no sooner heard his complaint OF not being
able TO stand riding backward, than she ohef-
ed 70 change places with himwhether from sym
pa,hy with his fat, or respect to her own oiue
broad cloth, did not appear. But how inns ex'
change Of places 10 be brought ABOUT was
the thing;-.to lockers on IT. 10 De almost
as easy as turning couple Of ouiiocks 10
watch box; but, as the necessity for II "as
growing more and more urgent every moment
the attempt was made. IN the hrst instance
they each essayed TO rise like ordinary people;
but that wouldn't do; before the male was nan
up, down he went again-squash:-ano 'hey
repeated the attempt second time win no
better succes.-I tell you what ma'am' grunt>
ed iallow keech, you'd better catch hold OF my
hands The lady complied; and having NOOK
ed their fat fingers together, in the way the
boys call butchers hold, they succeeded In 0ous-
ing each other up, fairly out of their respective
seats; but in the attempt to Turn, they mIssa
stays, as it were, and swung round, horizontally,
across the laps Of the rest OF US: Here was
pretty predic amen!-ln moment we were all
mixed up together like so many maggots IN
grease pot, all trying 10 get the upper hanl OF
each other; the spnslers were shrieking; Inc
bouncing dame squaling, the fal fellow grunt.
ing; and all Of US sprunting with might and
main, 10 keep our heads above Drawn
Luckily the two fat ones had "a kind OF alacrity
| in sinking'-their ability TO sprunt being d.
minished in exact ratio 10 their superintendent
blubber, so that we soon got !hem pretty well
under; bui, neverthe less, there is no knowing
what the u2shot might have been, had not
lean long -neck'd linen dealer, in the corner, po>
ked his head out at the window, and implored
| the coachman to siop-'Coachman' cried he
'coae Imam! for Heavens sake stop the coach!
Why It was to be stopped for Heavens sake,
| I could not make ou,-unless from notion
that fat body must reeds have fat soul, and
| fear tina, Heaven mis hit be as much burdened
with blubber as we were-ior, indeed, by this
| time, the fat fellow did begin 10 manifest very
purple physiognomical symptoms OF appopec-
tically ejecting the immortal tenant OF his NOR
tai Drawn. However, the coach did stop, and
that right speedily-for the cry was urgent,
and both doors being set wide open, we-lhe
| four lean ones, as soon as We could dlSen'an"
gle ourselves got out upon the road, shoe-top
deep in mud, and the rain raining as though II
| thought the sooner we were cooled the better;
whilst the two fat ones, assisted ny the COACH
man and Others, we're getting themselves set
| upright on their own pre- per personal seats;
| and This matter achieved, We all got in again.
! Now you would think, perhaps n =; aflcr such
squabish. the fat man appetite would be sad
| iy damaged-and thought 50 too; bnt was
mistaken; for III less than an hour alter | sat
| down to dinner with him, al one Of the inns in
Dover, and III jus, tell you the manner of his
feeding.
| 1t was sort oil four ahiing ordinary; plenty
| Of food there was; and some 90 80 feeders,
each with four ounce lump Of bread by the
| side of his plate. You'll take some soup, Sir"
said somebody TO the fat Franklin. 'Yes I'll
take SOUP said he; and did, three plates-full,
TO which he added the aforesaid four ounce lump
Of bread. You'll take salmon, Sir? 'Yes III
take salmon; and some bread waiter. The plate
OF bread was handed 10 him, and having paw'd
'em with the salmon. Shall send you fried
fresh ale, waiter A quart jug Of ale, was
goblet Of it, he sent down a half pound sole. &
the fourth lump of bread, after the salmon
Here's fine brill, sir; will you allow me to
send you some? 'Yes III take some brill, and
some bread, waiter The plate of bread was
again handed to him. and having paw'd off
mole Jumps, down went one Of them with the
brill; and another goblet Of ale cleared lis gull
let for the second course.
Second course: Roast beef: roast pig, calf's.
head, and boiled leg Of mutton. Beef, sir?-
yes; II take some beef, Champ, champ,
champ, chamble, chambe, champ, and guIph,
gulph, gulph;" and there was an end OF the
beef, and third goblet of ale. Some ealf's-
head, sir? yes, vi take calf's-head; slerrup,
sIerrup, Gamble, champ, slerrup; gup, gup,
gulp.' A little more Calls head, sir3 'Yes, I'll
take little more calrs-head; serrup, serrup;
bread, waiter; sIerrup, slerrup, chamble, cham.
BILE, champ; guIp, guIp, gulp, gulp;' and thus
ended the second course.
Third course;-ShaIl send you the wing of
this goose, Sir? 'Yes, I'll take The wing Of
goose; '-andsh e did. Allow me 10 send you a
slice or two off the breast, Sir? 'Yes, III take
some Of the breast;'-and he did. Some boil'd
fowl and oysters, Sir? 'Yes, I'll take some
boiled fowls and oys,ers;-sle,rup, slerrup,
champ, champ, champ: stop waiter!-where