The Massachusetts spy, and Worcester County advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1825-1831, 1829-11-18
From the NJ Y. Courier and Enquirer.

NIGHT KEYS. The inventor of night
keys must have congratulated himself upon
having completed very useful project, and
will deserve the thanks Of all husbands and
sons, of nocturnal habits, and all lazy maids
and servants, who are fatigued with "an-
swering the door," We have our appre
tensions, that night key, though great
convenience, will turn out to be great
evil. Formerly, no head of family retired
unless all the members were at home or in
bed, safe from mischief or dissipation but
now, almost every junior branch of the FAM
lily has a night key, and it is difficult to say
at what hour of the night or morning they
betake themselves to rest. In illustration
of this fact, we relate an anecdote: A good,
easy, respectable head of family, rich, and
an early retirer to bed, had three sons,
aged %, 81, and 10. They all had night
keys-and the father, good, easy man. find
ing his boys at breakfast every morning,
concluded that they were regular in their
hours of going to bed; but having some
reason to suspect that all might not be right
on this head, he determined to sit up and
wait their arrival. At one the youngest
entered, rather surprized at seeing his ia
Their calmly seated by the fire, and alone
late hour ?" The lad stammered an apollo
gy or explanation-"I have been to the
play, SIR" "But that is cut at IL o'clock"
Yes, sir-but | met an acquaintance, and
we sat conVersng about politics and militia
nv affairs until this time" swell, sir, give
me your night key and retire" At two
the second son entered, and started back
at seeing his father seated by the fire.
l = LOS ~ T
easy about you-where have you been: 2"
/ Lawless, and Charles Courtly, and over a
solitary glass of whiskey punch, we forgot
the hour-pray, how late is it ?" "Too late
an hour, sir, for you to be from home-giye
me your night kew" The clock struck
three, when the anxious father heard his
eldest and favorite son open the door, and
was struck with amazement and distress,
at finding him drunk" What, father, up
so early-no, POUNDS, | mean so late-con-
/ found this head-ache--sorry to keep you
waiting-took rubber at whist with an
old hand-gave me one and played dummy
lost only eight dollar points" "But, sir,
you are tipsy-nay, disgracefuly drunk"
"No, no, not drunk, only a little boosy-
why you must know that at one | left whist
and was passing by my friend DR.. Cureall
when thinks lets see if the Doctor is at
home, SO took out my night key and open
ed his door-went in and found, not only a
good fire, bat the supper table laid out and
the DR.. absent. Supposing he had call [
took seat and helped myself to wing of
a chicken and drank few glasses of Cam
| paigne-the Doctor came in and so we sat
and finished the bottle and talked of medi-
cine-the opera-fne arts and the fashions
until the present time-that's all, sir" The
worthy father with heavy heart betook
himself to rest, resolved for the future to
take deeper interest in the fate of his
children and see that they were safe in bed,
hereafter, before he closed his eyes.
! There are many fathers who should lose
no time in demanding the night keys from
their sons.