Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1829-11-21
COMMUNICATION.
THE CLUB-No. XIII.
Eripe furpi
Cola jugo, E1e-. Eber sum die Ggs.-HoaAer


In our Club frequently (upon he same prin-
chile tina, boys handle forbidden irui', or pfiests
talk Of the drvir The conversation turns upon
women and malrimony; and II Is l',,ie SIN
eular 10 hear US, who, as the pu"hc W." Know
hate the one, laugh at the other, ana e'che"
both, advance opinions upon hat OF whieh We
are, ant. ever pray TO be, prot""no, ighora"'.
One of our members, who some years sin.
narrowly escaped The snare, declsres seriously
that matrimony is Tsriarns, and w1ma" 'he
Arch Fiend; ano hi r, that she Is Aue2o' hrr'
self. and the clipping Of he thread 81 our ex-
i,,ence her pecu lar province; anC Ei"ahsn NJ
rypold. who is Fl m believe in the approach OF
the Millennium, postiv,l " aft MS ha, that bliss
full epofh Can never have beginning so long as
a woman's face is seen, or her tongue hcard
among us: but, no matter wha: collision OF OPP
mons there may be Upun ,hrSe points, thev, one
and all, agree upon the mpoila one, tina. she
Is "a very devil;" and there is no. oae among
us who does not contend tina, he putting on OF
!" the matrimonial moose" is SYNONYMOUS with
the shutting of he mo, tai COLI. was hut
the other evening tina, our f'irnd Virgins, who
ha, ever been a mos, mischievou, wIRh', and
has grown old in his wickedness, entering 'hr
hall with batting breath, and lace oVercio"d'
ed with woe, announced TO the company tha'
their worthy friend Tasso had gone the
way Of all Aesh," and was no longer" OF U.s.
The grief which such disclosure should have
given rise 10, was absorbed in astnnlshmrHt.
which cas no, a title abated when the simulla-
neoua interrogation, "wha,! is he dead!" elicit
ed from The incorrigibe bearer OF the Sad IL
dings, the answer, " no! he is married.! This
furnished topic for some hall hours CONVEX
sa,ion, in the course Of which II was more Than
orce rccollec,ed ,ha, Tasso was very weak
man, aud upon some points " ineffAbly stupid :"
He was committed 10 his fate, with the general
and heartfelt exclamation Of, alas, poor Yor-
ick!" As 10 myself, l have an instructive hate
for all Of womsnkind; and frequently wonder,
with the man in The play, " that such beasts
should be suffered to go unclaimed MY aver
sion is not little increased by the various de-
wees to which these fair ones" have resort,
for the purpose Of making seemly their deior-
mites "Bishops," Mutton legs" Ba.
loons," &c. are alike obnoxious TO me; and The
pill loses nothing Of its bitterness, because OF
thr gliding. There, too, are the Inconvenience
to which man is subjected by this flirting
racr-,he innovations that they make upon his
old established habi,s-ihe total arrangement
OF al his plans of social comforr. When one
Of them en,ers the room. Fashion, (quem 2enes
you should doG your ha,, take down your feet
from the fender, and 81, o. erect as il you had
swallowed your walking staff. Thus il IS that
you are obliged 10 lis en- whole hours to dis
serts:ion upon SOM improved hounce to which
to day has given bir'b, or wild eonjeetures up
on what will be the rage Tomorrow; and when
the Zine for departure arrives, and hail II as
The moment Of my emancipation, Miss, IN
half asking, half imperative mood, is heard TO
say. " Doctor, l am sorry TO trouble you, but
-" the rest is all lost upon me; aud, hur-
rird forth, without the protection OF a greai
coat, am literally dragged some dozen squares,
exposed TO The chilling GOODNESS Of Deem
ber's snow, and lis necessary consequents, as,h>
ma and rhs matism, by the mere shadow Of
creature wi'hou lungs sufficient to dread the
one, OF limbs 70 induce the other. Then, 100,
a person Cannot walk down the street without
being in constant dread OF coming 10 contact
with poke bonnet" or being forced to step
from the side sion. IN order TO avoid hoop"
With these antipa,hies to women, tie reader
may rrati'y imagine hat haze 10 fancy % be
",ied" To- tarm; although must acknowledge
that once ! did think seriously OF j: yet, now
thsi have seen the folly Of my younger days,
| rejoice al my escape; and, deIro omnes, *
amino mulieres, others may pant alter the plea
bliss, but il has no charms for me Only to
L ink! here's The fs,ie"ing bus'Ie Of tie two
6rs' weeks If the honey moon. and she insi.id
du 'ns>s Of 'hr remainder Of your life; 'he'e's
Mrs. EschaI, with her new tangled notions of
elegance, in 'h- honeyrd atornis OF nv d-sr"
and husband" protesting agsies' The INSULT
able dullnesa Of The town, and declaring that she
can ncv, ~ ssis6rd un,iI indulet her with
summer exc "rsi.m; and i" the next brea' say.
ing, Dr.. E.cha', when you sit upon thosr
chairs, will ,hLnk you 10 take your coat from
under you; and pray, sir, do put tina, riga
oat-the .moke is qu"e suH"estlng" There,
too, is tire p,im Mas Eschar, upon whom The
lessons Of ,he lady mother have been by no
means thrown awsv,-vowing, in words most
minced" That she will no longer wear her
newly bought shawl, "because those horrid
dowdy Miss Dis,aff> have purchased similar
ones," and ever and anon excIaiming, %,
papa, that coat OF yours is horribly old fash.
Toned, and that br,wn wig Of YOURS makes YOU