Delaware journal. [volume] (Wilmington [Del.]) 1827-1832, 1829-02-17

THE CONFESSION OF A SUFFERING MURDERER
Who shall minister 20 a mind diseased
Pluck from the memory rooted sorrow
Raze out the written troubles of the brain
And cleanse the foul bosom of the perilous stuff
Which weighs upon the heart
open wounds over which time has no healing in
huence; open them as warning to others-as
beacon to show where many a mortal's happiness
is wrecked.
The nfliction of death IS not an adequate punish
ment for the crime of murder there is a misery
far yond ths--t is that of living-of living to feel
the henous consequences ofgut, to suffer the sting
ing of a restless conscience, and to have no refuge
from its constant tormens. My life has been rev.
olution of eventtul vicssitudes, yet in the varied
scenes of misery through which | have been DOOM
ed to pass, there has been one shade more dense
than all the rest--one tinge Of moral hopelessness
to which my other grieis but as idle imaginlngs,
as trivial records. 1t is true, indeed, that the world
looks upon me with an eye of complacency and
that in falling into the yellow sere have GO honor,
love- obedience. troops offrends )" but these empty
vanities turn from with CALLED spirit. and envy
the nolhingness and oblivion which may not shroud
the remnant of my miserable existence--for am Il
murderer. the murderer of helpless infancy! -
This is the sorrow which has, like the Upas tree,
poisoned every prospect, aud has called forth from
the oppressed brain g whitening thoughts that the
world cannot know"
NV history is simple-but could | record my
countless tears. the example would not pass away un-
needed. My parents were in the middle station OF
life g. at an early age was married to person in
similar rank of society. We lived contented. and
therefore happy. Our residence was in a large
town 10 western county, from whence my hns-
band was accidentally called to transact some busl-
ness which detained him some months from home.
lie left me the mother of healthy boy he found
me--but the fearful word will come soon enough.
TO beguile the weary moments Of my husbands
absence, was induced at intervals to mngle with
society. and this led me from my home. | had,
perhaps, been allowed too much indulgence by my
parents, who accustomed me to continual gaiees,
so that solitude came upon me as fearful blank, as
a melancholy One dreadful nght--the memory
of which will never lose its deep intensity had
undresscd my smiling boy, then about three years
old he took his farewell OF ME after had joined
his tinv hands in prayer and then left him to en-
ioy that peaceful repose whichaI hoped would re-
new his health and vigor. Happy are the aflu-
ent their tender nursllngs are losered by care, and
shielded by studied attention. But this was not to
be nv blessed lot nor that of my darling boy yel
was he as bcauteous as the richest and the proud
eat oil them ALL and his caresses to me were as dear
as if he had been arrayed in the splendid robes OF
opuence | was living In lodgings, and my only
two apartments communicated by door which gen
orally remained open. When left my child thai
night, sleeping with his face pillowed upon his dow
ny arm, had no intention going beyond the mex
room, where | sat down, and imagination soor
brought to my mind the gaietes OF my youth, ant
my loneliness became lrksome. At TINS lime
thoughtess companion called, and wished me to ac
company her TO card party. went, the cheer
fitness of the assembage induced me TO prolone
nv absence, and hours passed by UNDECIDED. Al
length returning sense of duty called me home
had relied upon the generally sound sumbers o.
e INV child and imagined should find him asleep, as
had done when had previously INDUCED in the fatal
practice. found the inmates Of the house where
lodged in state of confosion-some horrld words
Icaueht my ear as rushed along--the door of my
anartment was broken open, and my boy-my rosy
chrub-lay there blackened and dlsligured snfler,
er His pain was too intense tor the usual CRIES o.
Infancy. but in their stead he uttered plaintiye