Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1829-03-04

We farther shall dilate upon"
never, for the life ONE, could understand
why man Of TEN stone should pay as much for
coach hire Us one OF TWENTY. There's neither
reason nor virtue in il; x ne stage coach pro-
prielors must be set Of unjust jolterheads no,
to alter il. The rogues weigh your dead stock
your luggage; and, iii, be wha, they call 60
verweight," they make no scruPle Of charging
you so much pound for every pound above a
certain number Of pounds, but they take TO &C
count a, all Of overweight in living luggage, &
will charge just as much for carrying little
whippei snapper OF a passenger. whose entire
corpus, in full dress, might be tucked into a
coach pocket, as they will for great, over
fed fellow, whose empty waistcoat would but
ton round a haystack! Ifa man will stuff him-
self till he's as big as roasted Manningtree OK
with pudding in his belly, let him do so-,here
is no statute 10 the contrary thereof, that know
Of; but see no reason why he should oblrude
his Fat upon folks Of reasonable compass-or
expect 10 have his overweight Of blubber oarri>
ed about the country for nothing Twelve
stone is about the average weight Of man, &
il the coach owners were not blockheads and
boobies-blind to their own interests, and 10
common equity, they would establish scale of
fares, hang weighing chairs in their coach off.
ces, and demand SO much additional fare upon
every stone weight above twelve; reducing the
fares to those Of less weight in proportion. If
thew would do that, man, wedgsd into six.
inside coach between two Of these enormous
bowel-cases, nigh, take some little comfort to
himself in knowing that what he suffers by suf
location he saves in pocket. And, truly your
political economists-your Malthuses and NJ
Cullochs, are little better than strainers at
gnats and sw allowers Of camels, or they would
have proposed some such regulation as check
upon over-consumption; it would do more to-
ward. saving The national victual than any Of
their fne.draw schemes for stinling day la.
bourers in brats and potatoes.
1t was our fate to have one of these o-leg-
ged prize ca,tle-"a certain Franklin in the
wild Of Kent" as arravelling sixl h in the Rams.
gate and Dover MORNING STAR unicorn coach.
We took him up-or rather, he was heaved up,
BY the coachman and half-a-dozen helpers; al
road side public house, somewhere between
Sandwich and Deal; and when he was up, and
had poked forward, half way across the inside
Of the coach, his hips stuck in the doorway so
that he was obliged to turn aside, before he
could bring in his rear. At length he was all
IN; and down he went; squash! into the only va.
cant seat, between two venerable spinster-ik
ladies-his bowed elbows spreading over them
in front like couple Of 5robdignagian sausa-
ges, and his stupendous catastrophe tearing all
before il as il subsidized. "Mercy on u.s." cried
one Of the spinsier like venerables-I declare
you have torn my gown completely out Of the
gathers!' 'And mine tool said the other.
Really, Sir, we must get you to set up li,,le,'
said Both. 'Aye-I thought Ifelt something
give way grunted the mountain Of mummy;
and then, instead Of sitting up, as they had re-
quested, he leaned slowly from side to side, so
as to almost smother each lady In her turn,
whilst the other was dragging her torn gown
from beneath his abomiuable Drawn. Howev-
err, all tina, being arranged, and room having
been made for his legs, as he called them, on