The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1829-10-08

1 VINO bdu nleu up tne neu5uIc Ol MS lhI'
qulues, as far as he dared, went to the
| Priest to confess and obtain absoluton.
/ lie ,ntered the apartment OF the prlest,snd
addIessed HIM: Holy father, ! have SIN
nedb The priest bid hun be seated IN the
penl.eDtial chair. The penItent was seat
ed, and looking about he saw the priests
gold watch lying upon the table within his
| reach lie seized 1t, and put II IN hls DO
som. The priest approached him, and re
qucsted him to acknowledge the sins for
! winch he needed absolution. "Father,"
said the rogue, have stolen, and what
shall do "Restore." said the priest, the
thing you have stolen to ITS rlghtlul owner" "
" DO you take it," said The penltent. "No,
shall not" said the priest. "fou must
give il TO the owner" But he has retus
ed TO take it," said the peniteDt, "apd what
shall do with II Z" "If this be the case,
you may keep It," The holy father gran
ted HIM full absoution The penitent
knclt and kissed his hand, craved benedict
ION, crossed himself, and departed with
ciear conscience, and very valuable gold
watch, into the bargain Salem Obs.
Ludicrous Spectacie.--A battle royal be
tween two recruits, lately enlisted, occur
ed on Monday on the foot bridge on the
west side Of the canal in Exchange-stre
A crowd of course coIlected-whether TO
enjoy the pugllstlc exhibition or TO p ri
the combatants, Is lmmaierlal to our nara
tlon.- --Sutiice 1t TO say, that hne the row
was its height while blow upon blow
fell like hail upon the sconces Of either
combatant--and all eyes were fixed upon
the heroes Of the scene--the flooring OF
The foot bridge gave way beneath the pres
sure, and clpltatcd the crowd sans CCle
monte into the canal beneath! About Ef
ty pe+sons, of all ages and sizes, Of eli COL
ors and characters, lay laundering in the
muddy waters ofthe big drch;'-the cour
age Of the combalants was cooled N the
ablution; and the ludicrons appearance Of
the molly crew, crawling out Of the canal,
" ct aud dirty presented spectacle wor-
Thy the pencil of llogarth.
Rochester Telegraph.
900
Cabbage Head and DiHo. We have Just
now heard ol cabbage story, winch We
will cook for the paalts of our laughter
loving readers.-"Oh! loves ye like any.
thing" SAID a young contIyman to his
sweat heart, warmly pressing her hand.
Ditto" said she gently returning the pres
sure.-The ardent lover, not happening to
be over and above larnCd, was sorcly puz
zed TO understand the me ning OF ditto
but was ashamed 10 expose hls ignorance
by asking the girl. lie went home and
the next day aelng at work III the cabbage
4 CT 10. ,,,tt- nd
dv, what's the the meanln' OF dltio!'--
why" said the old man, "ihis ere is one
cabbage head arn't It?' "Ncs, dacdy."
We'll, that ares ditto" "Rot that are
rood iOr nothln' ca I" CALCULATED the Indlg
cant son, "she called me cabbage head,and
III be- darned to darnatIon If | ever goe,
to see her again. - Berkshire American.
ave publish" saws The London Times
Of the OH of May, "a financial paper o
the United States, which ought not to be
raad by any British statesman without eX'
citing IN hlm the most serious feelings
I'hn debt Of that great republic Is not more
tLau from l2.0OO000 to ga 100000 ster
ng--one fourth of one years revenue ot
treat Britain. and about one slXtlcth OF fouT
.a'onal debt"
A Coop BUsINEss.--Thc Franklin In
urance Company oflhis city Yesterday de
Jared a dividend OF per cent ios the last
tx months The same oficehas dNlGed
81 . per cent in the last > years and d
lalf. The Atlas Insurance Company made
, dividend Yesterday OF , per cent for the
last siy months --l Bait. Pat
-o+G~
n Conrepient Cot. A short time ago
roor irishman applied at the church war
aens' office, for relief: some doubt being
expressed as to whether he was a prop,r
object for parochial charity, he enforced
his SUIT with much earnestness. "Och
your honor" said he, "shure I'd be starv
ed to death long since but for my cat
But for what" asked his astonlshcd inter
rogater. "My cat" "rCloIncd he lrlshmnn
Your cat! how so;" Shure, your honor,
sold her eleven tunes over for slXpeuCe
a time, and she was always at home again
before I'd get there meSelt.
The wavwordncss Of fortune. and the me
Quaht, with which she deals ont her trowns
and snlos To different men, are well eX
pressed ~ the following extract from an
article IN the London New Monthly Maga
Zlnc:--
"Oue man sucks an orange and is chok
ed by pip, another swallows penkniie
and lives, ono runs thorn into his hand.
and no skill can save him. IA fact ofrecent
dato1 another has a shaft OF a GIG pass com.
plctrly through his body and RECEIVERS, one
I is overturned on smooth common and
/ breaks his neck. another is tossed out OF a
gig over Brighton cliff and survives, one
walks on a windy day and meets death by
a brckbat. another is blown up in the air,
] IL. 7 II I.,,.,, a., Ca.,i,