Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1829-04-29
EVIL OF SPEAKING IN ONES SLEEP
OR, THE GUARD OFF HIS GUAR

|
"Pleas- your Vurship," said nea, little ii
CURE Of a woman, with rather an agreeable coun
tenancr, although her lief, eye looked in dffe'
rent direction from her right, on application
| for summons at Guidhall againss her husband
Il wishes TO have summons against my nus
band?"
'What for, my good woman?
wy, please your Vurship, l thinks he's nc
good?'
Nv hat, another female husband!
mo, please your Vurship, nothing O that SORT
l assure YOU, though says il. No, no, I'm
sure he arn't no female
well, then, what has he done!'
Wy, pless your Vurship, thinks as he has
another wife beside me-
ave, that, indeed, is bad business
Il, is, your Vurship, and vot no honest wo-
man will put up With
'What is your husband"
He's guard Of a coach, plese you Vurship;
and Pm thinking he's black-guard to me,
too
'Then he's not at home every night, pre-
sume?'
'No please your Vurship, he's only at home
two nigh, in a week, please your Vurship, and
he sleeps Two other nights on the road, please
your Vurship; and thinks he has another wife
we're he ,eeps, please your Vurship; vich many
of these guards have, please pour Purship,
though their wives don't know of it.
'l'm af' aid they are Sad set Of fellows in
this way
'Thar's vot say; your Vurship.
'Bu: what evidence have you OF your hus-
bands misconduct
QUITE enough. your VurshIp, to satisfy any
reasonable woman
We'll, lei me hea, If it will satisfy me!'
you shall, your Vur,hIp. You must know,
your Vursh;p, in The first place, he han't been
of stopping at home en- he comes IN WIN
the coach, he goes up and dresses himself, aud
puts on his oest Loo,s and things, ard hen go s
off to public housr with some OF his ranllpole
companions, and DOM see him till twelve or
one O'Clock; and then he's off at FIVE in The
morning, vich you know, your Vurship, is not
doing the thing that's right
'Why, not exactly; but is this alp
No, your Vursh,p l've some hing worse
You must know, your'Vurship, that the watch
man has orders to call tim al half past four, SC
ina, he needs not be af aid ofoveI sleeping him
SELF your Vurship; blu, for several mornings Of
late he woke up Of himself & hen he says 10 mr.,
says he, 'Betsey, is il slime To BE- etirrlng?' Now
please your Vurship, my names not Betsey,
but Mary, and h- know, it veil; and says,
'Vo, do you call me B.lsey for?' and then he
says, It's a mis,ake;' but, bless your Vurship,
Pm quite sartain u'snO mistake al all, and that
he only thinks he, got his fothrr wife in bed
with him, and tod him 20; but he only laughs,
and says, It's my tup.' Now, your VurshIp,
it's no fun a, all, and hears ina; my suspicious
are quite correct, Tor hat he has another wife
elsewhere; and this blessed morning, your Vur-
ship, he says the same ting, s. 'eIs ME TO sc,
| mis- va'ch to onk al, hough he knows he has
40 watch in my loom. nor never had, as he
caves it at the Office TO berrglated, and SO
| I'm sure he most nave vatch,ih his other
wife, your Vurshp'
'And is that all he proof you have agains1
him.
Suppo,e your wife should cal you Bill in her
sleep, when your name is Jem, vat would you
say?'
'Why, | should say she was dreaming, bu,
| should not onclude she had anothe, husband
AYE, your Vurshipj but If she said it often,
you'd think there was some one Of the name OF
Bill as she knowed'
'Th4t might be, but your foolish suspicious,
which may be illfounded, are not sufficient for
me 10 conclude that your husband has another
wHe, ana, therefore, L cannot, Without DETER
evidence, grant you summons
'Ah, jus, as thought! you men always stick
together; but I'll find him OUT, if goes down on
the sly, for Pm sure he has another wife. and her
name is Betsey.'
well, you can prove that, you shall have
summons, or even war; ant, but not till then
And away hustled the little old woman quite
determined on making discovery. She did
moi s,ate her husbands name or the coach on
which he is stationed, but as, probably, many
guards are liable TO similar suspicious, it NAV
be wise 10 take care, and not be of their guard
in future: They ought, too, to be more cir.
cumspect for other reasons, as little Mrs.
Squint tauntingly exclaimed, as she Quilted the
Office, IN have him to know there are other
horns besides those as he blows-,he willais!'