Constitutional Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1824-1832, 1829-03-24


Stake oyer of the bill of rights
"Does 1t not say land there's an end on'tl
ihat al alike are independent?
But now, we humbly ask, can that he,
when all your acts deny it fatty.
w hen we are deem'd inferior creatures
And not endow'd with monkey natures,
but leaving principles abstract.
"We make our bold appeal to fact.
''Nhen twice the Island monkies came
"To waste the land with sword and fiam.
mo one was anxious then to settle
wv no tails possessed, but who had mettle-
mot who to vote enIoy'd the right,
But who had stomach for the fight.
"And did We find the non-taholder
IN paier blood, or courage colder,
"No-evry plain and evry hill
bears witness to our valour still;
"L'he meanest rill the mightiest river
Flows mmsling with our fame forever.
I'VE have no need of arguments.
Jur cause we trust to common sense.
And common sense will sure denote
me non-taiiholder's right to vote.
bat ifyou still reiCse to give
=" That which from nature we derive.
" II still we're thought beneath your care.
Then peace farewell, and welcome war,
IVY ere ten to one, our claws as long,
our nearts as stout, our arms Us strong;
Wen spread our banner, blow our TRUMP.
And chop your tails off at the rump;
And when With ready sticks and stones
Nv eve bruis' and Hammered we'll your bones,
cerhaps you'll say, our cause is valid,
Cur arguments are stout and solid.
"ADd own their beauteous adaptation
10 the great purpose of persuasion"
As dogs that iercely fight each other.
WIN yet combine against another
Tho any bone the peace may break
And cause them fight like Turk or Greek.
Vet soon, arous'd by foreign danger,
they'll throttle the intruding stranger,
ana send him home in woe and wall
With ragged ears and half q tail!
20, pausing in their hottest ire,
l ne members turnJ, with purpose dire
10 make these insoients sample
OF legal vengeance deep and uInple.
Foremost the mighty pug arose
With flashing eyes and sneering nose:
Ills whiskers startled the beholder,
HIS tail was curled above his shoulder
lie grasp'd it with fond embrace,
Wherein the dullest brain might trace
- rho to the gallows they should cart US,
'The Devil himself shall never part u.s.
Whether the very words above
koll'd III his thoughts, 'twere hardto proxe.
But II they did, twas quite uncivil
70 his great majesty, the Devil,
Since all his dearest friends depoht
lie hath taii-a princeIy one
And scarce could mean to injure those
That nature for his subjects chosel
AT length he spoke-''The law ofnutlrre.
"Reason!! above the LegisIature!!
Now by my tail and by my beard,
s'Such insolence is all unheard.
Zach tailless scoundrel, raggamuffu,
Whom we III peace have long been cufing,
Must cut our gracious surintendence
And claim that shadow, Independence.
'Zounds from the blind it can't be hidden
THAT some must ride and some be ridden
LET those that doubt it look abroad
And see the work of Natures God;
"See Natures self mighty saddle
Where living things all sit astraddle:
Fowls, fish and flesh, on ev'ry hand.
Riding the air, the sea, the land,
land even the rogues that make WY faces
"Subllmey mounted all on asses.
The Bill of Rights! Lord help the fools
"'Fhat thus apply dead-letter rules!
1.-The clause of Freedom and Equality,
Can they not see has no reality
But merely stands where now it's found,
because it hath pretty sound.
Cant they submit as did their daddiesa
Cor if they vote, why not the ladies?
"trho' by my tail, the pretty dears
Might well enough alarm our fears,
For with their tribes of gaping beaux
"They'd rule elections as they ohose.)
''Surely there must be some criterion,
Or else the governments merry ono,
'Where birds ofev'ry varied feather
A.uiih diAe ana HocR togetner:
"And that criterion. all must say,
Cur tails afford, and only they.
eve then, whom Nature hath supplied
with all they boast, and more beside,
eve, heavens peculiar favorites still,
''In reason ought to rule, and will
Lastly, of hardship they complain
Sin all their Plenteous lack of BRAIN
Granting their claim in Justice strong,
''1'o whom must hardship still belongf
'''To them, whose failure alters not
Their present state single jot,
"lVho claim what they have neer obtaind,
"And nothing lose tho nought be gain'd,
Cor us, whose power, so long enjoyed,
"By their success is all destroyed9"
Each member caught the speakers fire,
And cockd his tail ten inches higher.
The world hath lost unhappy fiiteD
The event of this sublime debate;
Yet may we form conjectures wise
From monuments, their land supplies.
That land is turn'd into waste,
BY none but tawny Arabs pass'd,
Ob!ivions wings are Ger them furld
Their name has perish d from the world
But mindful still of former times,
Whene'er they meet in other cliues
The ape with tail and he without
In deadly feud foreer fall out,
And scratch and bite and grin and chatter,
Unreconci'd as fire and water.
PIER