Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1829-07-29

from eight o'clock 10 eleven, Ina 10 Chase away
heiph no! and 10 raise Ia, ha, ha.-those thfee
gra1es Of speech, and ornaments OF nature, Oh
that proud and paImy pinnacle to which 'oei'
virtues and their talents authorized them 10
aspire. I will draw -sIs from cleds, Jokes rom
STRAINS, and fun from every thing. In my nfs'
Spring Meeting, will run down every ,hi"s
tina, crosses my path, and gain your applause
if it's only by my head; and, by my reiaionS
,ry 10 make friends Mr. Mathews now sings
a very humorous song, in which he brings III
an imitation Of all he characters In MS pre-
ceding At Homes The effect is 'rresistloie'
6 AS was rejecting on my plans, was inter-
rup,ed by soft rata, at the door-what pup
licans would call mild tap-it was IRON Dr.
Cullender, famous for his attenlion 10 mons
heads and 10 the h. ads o! knockers: one oi ne
faculty who recommend: oomposurt 'hn re
pose. and rap their instruc ions On The knocker
of The street door by way OF ratitif alton lhe'e
doc ors don't Ike knock on their own doors,
at least if they are nocturnal. DIR. Cuirnder
has a thousand conirivances, thou' md txtra
vagapcies-hr is a medical Du Crow, riding
FIVE or six horses al once-he was physician,
music ian, opt,cian, mathematician, chy"ia',
mac hin!s i, cook ,eiler, and score OF Other
things. This amisbie, clever, and eccentric Or.
Cullrnder, (alias DR. Kltchncrl enters with his
RICH. leg foremost. with an air oil unidry, his
arms hanging loosely, aud his head ro'hns
about like indie senden m mbsr-' Aye, how
ore you? how are you? very yellow; curry in
your face; qui c yellow; bill wrong; If You wish
b be long liver. YOU must fake some OF my
peris attic per>uae.ers-s mf pi my pept!c pills
L. YOU ca, weli!' Yes Sler p well" Yes.
: E.! I'll do away wi II all that Tor YOU; recon-
mend aun,; do you good Improve your OPP
tics; and your pepiCs; and raise. your vocal
faculties; mus movs; health is not local, like
EppiRg sausagrs.' A this moment knock IS
heard at The door, loud as the great gu" OF
Kilkenny, with is pa'ent report and little
echoes Dr.. CulicnGrr: What YOU Coll that
making cal? Call il making vinegar Such
hunder will turn ali your smal beer; / in
flames me 10 be reused out OF REVERE by a
rapperer; but when should man BIZ hot but
when he, wrapt up!
Enter Rat, lie, an aul photographer, recolI> CT
or Of wha will be Away sowing SEEDS tor re-
miniscences-w writing his lie, not that he might
live bu, living .hat he might write. Rattle Is
desperate for few m cdotes--" I've lived thir-
~ years; no, lite for nv book" These gen.
tleinen sre Joined by Mr.. Human y Stubs,
nick named Cruelty Slubbs, from his excess
i've sympathy for all living things. The fa'
Mr. Humanity Stubs never laughs; he only
fancies he laughs when he thrice u,ters Ha ha !!
ha 20 The frs, from his throat, the sec md
from the pi, Of his iomach, and he third from
his whole body conjoined, MOI forg, ting he
action Of his cheeks H, commences every
speech by l. do say one hing, and don't
me al another, ha, ha, ha, y Here then is a
party for a rubber, or 20 rub on journey
They proceed 10 Newma ket. D., provides
his two hundred traveiing inoi sp'nsahIes. A
series Of sauce 3ans, aud serIts Il canistsrs,
crucrs pill b xes, medicine cases, telescopes,
writing appara us, phns phorus boxes, his b. an
DIV in bottle j,ok, hlunderhuss ciammfd
with all things; an las ly, IN dr~ad OF hydro
pnobia, two Llndgeons win pixies al The md,
No for large dogs, No. . for li'ile We
must add br.i,'srd done up as a walkings'ick.
and por able fyc-r"nge 'Hull'o, Decor,
VIVA, in tn name of gondnes> have you go' on
IN oil skin gown for?' The best thing IN
the world, always sleep in them travei,lng
Nevrr sleep IN fine sheets, 'heyl prove so"r
winding sheets, You might as well sleep in a
~ ampv meadow, With h. IN 'ou Tor your war
ming pan Tne party now proceeds to lot,
tenh an. our road (a' odd Wy, by he by, tr
Newmarki t. and t"e Doctor .amc"'s tina Mr.
Mac Adam, stony hearted hnts are no. con
verled TO S,ony- b,tler. Noting can be more
l. di, rous han NJ Mat hews' d, scri1ton Of
~, four. con,ersing amils, lhy excessive OH
Ihg nf the coac A. The end Of The rood.
S'ubb,, whose hear, is Ike Cheshire meadow
ove,howed by he M'resy, suddenly exciaims
& S OPP, stop, mast ge' OUT / will get "u'.
The occasion is, some drovers bealiug squat
ting bullock sbou III. horns. Suhbs o';emp
O address the MOI, and Mr. Ma news inl ,tss
the cries of score of persons, some wishing
20 hear, and some TO in'errup, the orator.
Stubs, at las /, heard, and he concludes his
harrangue bv, Il mus Say one thing, anh-
don't meaa another. 1t was most cruel, iDhu,
man, brutal, beas,ly. aud nnmanly to strike an
animal over he hurrs Ladies and Gentlemen
now would you like l. yourselves !" The
bull, however, Searls tps,es The o:ator, and when
safe in the coach, RaiIt, qu'zzIng him, asks
whether the animal had more spite or graft.
tude towards his benefac,or Siubbs-'I mus,
saw one thing, and don't mean another, il
4 IA