Literary cadet and Rhode-Island statesman. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1827-1829, 1829-01-07
MISCELLANY.
TOO HANDSOME FOR ANY THING.

those models oil perfection oil whicn a
human father and mother can produce
but a single example. Mr.. Ferdinand
Fhzroy was therefore an only Son. He
was such an amazing favourite with both
his parents, that they resolved to ruin
him; accordingly, he was exceedingly.
spoiled, never annoyed by the sight OF
a book and had as much plum-cake as
he could eat. Happy would it have
| been for Mr.. Ferdinand Fitzroy could
| no always have eaten plum-cake and re-
NAMED a child Never says the Greek
tragedian, reckon a mortal happy tall
YOU have Witnessed his end A most
beautiful creature was Mr.. Ferdinand
Fitzroy! Such eycs-such hair-such
tceth-such a igure-such manners too,
and such an irresistible way OF tying
his neckloth! When he was about six
teen, a grabbed old uncle represented to
his parents the propriety of teaching
Mr.. Ferdinand Fitzroy TO read and
write. Though not without some diff.
Guilty, he convinced them,-for he was
exceedingly rich, and riches in an un-
Gle are wonderful arguments respecting
the nurture Of a nephew whose parents
have nothing to leave him. So our he
70 was sent to school. He was natural
ly, RI am not joking now a very sharp
clever boy; and he came on surprising
ly on his learning. The school-mas-
tors wife liked handsome children.
What a genius will Master Ferdinand
Fitzroy be, il you take pains with him!
said she to her husband. pooh, my
dear, il is of no use to take pains with
fhim.' sAnd why, lover Because he
is a great deal too handsome ever to be
a scholar sAnd that's true enough,
my dear!' said the schoolmastcr's wife
So, because he was too handsome to be
a scholar, Mr.. Ferdinand Fitzroy re-
msined the lag Of the fourth form! They
took our hero from school, what
profession shall he follow said his mo-
thor. my first cousin is the lord chan
c%ellor,' said his father; 'let him 60 to
the bar The Lord chancellor dined
there that day: MIR. Ferdinand Fitzroy
was introduced to him. His lordship
was a little, rough-raced, beetle-browed,
hard.featured man, who thought beauty
and jdleness the same %thing-and a
parchment skin the legitimate complex
ion for a lawyer. Send him to the BARI
said he, mo, no, that will never dol
send him into the army; he is much to
handsome to become a lawyer And
that's true enough, my lord' said the
mother So they bought Mr.. Ferdin-
and Fitzroy a cornetcy in the - reg
inent of Dragons. Things are not
learned by inspiration. Mr. Ferdinand
Fitzroy had never ridden at school, ex-
cept when he was hoisted; he was, there
fore, a very indifferent horseman: they
sent him to the riding school, and every
body laughed at him. 'He is a great
asst said Cornet Horsephiz, who was
very ugly; "a horrid puppy!' said Lieu
tenant St. Squintem, who was still ugli-
er; 'if he does not ride better, he will
Disgrace a regiment said Capt. Rival
hate, who was very good looking! 'ifhe
does not ride better, we will cut him.
said Colonel Everdrill, who was a won
derrul martinez: Il say, Mr.. Bumpem-
we'll, Ito the riding-mastcr] make that
youngster ride less like a miller's sack
sPooh, sir, he will never ride BETTER
tAnd why the ID will he notH BLESS
you, Colonsl, he is a great deal TO hand
some for a cavalry o%ficer!' True!
said Cornet Horsephiz. very true!
said Lieutenant St. Squintem. eve
must cut him. said the Colonel. And
Mr.. Ferdinand Fitzroy was accordingly
cut. Our Hero was a youth of suscep-
tibility-he quilted the - regiment,
and challenged the Colonel. The Col
one. was killed. sWkat a terrible black
guard is Mr.. Ferdinand Fizroyp said
the coloners relations. very true!'
said the world. The parents were in des-
pair! They were not rich, but OUT. hero
was an only son, and they sponged hard
upon the grabbed old uncle. He is very
clever said they both, 'and may do YETI
SO they borrowed some thousands from
the uncle, and bought his beautiful neph-
CIV a seat in parliament. MIR. Ferdin-
and Filzroy was ambitious, and DESTROYS
of retrieving his character. He tagged
like a dragon conned pamphlets and
reviows-got Richardo by heart-and
made notes on the English Constitution.
He rose to speak. sWhat a handsome
fellow!' whispered one member. 'Ah,
a coxcomb!' said another. Never do
for a speaker!' said a third, very audi
bly,. And the gentlemen on the oppo-
site benches sneered aud heared!-Im-
~pudence is only indigenous in MIlesia,
and an orator is not made in a day. Dis
couraged by his reception, Mr.. Ferdin-
and Fitzroy grew a little embarrassed.
sTold YOU SOP said one Of his neigh.