Daily Richmond Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1828-1831, 1829-07-25
From TIE EdiR5ury Literary JouynnL
MONsTE RS NOT MENTIONED BY LlNNIEts.

From TIE EdiRbu,1y Literary Journnl.
MONSTERS NOT MENTIONED BY LlNN.EUS.
= For succession of ages Naturalists have
cndcavoured to inculcatc the opinion that
wild beasts are to be found ONLY among the
brute creation; but the melancholy fact is at
length ascertained, that many monsters. be-
sides those which usually haunt dens and
caves, SO loose in society, under false pre-
fences, dcluding that public, upon whom
they prey, into belief of their larmlessness.
We propose stirring a few of them up with
the long pole OF our ingenuity; and, on the
old p;.nciplc of place aur DANES, we shall
begin with
The Consequential Hjse-.Nan-Nonster.-
Selt-concclt, pomposity, and the profound
admiration OF old women, have been an over
match Tor the originally weak intellect of
Mr.. OwlStarc. lie now imagineS himself a
walking encyclopedia, and the final court
OF appeal IN all cases where a literary, poll
teal, moral, or religious dispute arises Ask
HIM to meet with the most eminent men of
the day, and he never for Il moment suppo-
scs that the compliment is paid to him, but
to them. Tell him one of your best stories.
and IT Will fail to produce any effect upon
him; he merely hints that he has heard il bet
ter told before. Make one of your profoun
dest observations on philosophy or political
economy, and he will only hem, and look
half sage, half contemptuous. Try him upon
the fine arts, nd-he gives you to under
stand, that unless you have been to the Va
ilcan, you cannot sail upon tho same tack
with him. Venture into the arcana of sci
cncc, and you are silenccd. by hearing him
pronounce Sir Humphrey Davy mere
schoolboy. The use he makes of all the in
formation he possesses, is to exalt himself:
nRd when his ignorance by chance stares him
IN the face, he gets out of the dilemma, by
treating his adversary with sarcastic indiffcr-
"ncc. In general company this manner is
successful. He Is not much liked, but he is
immensely respected. Hosptable country
gentlemen, middle rate lawyers, wealthy
merchants, with all their wives and all their
daughters, hardly know how to- treat him
with sufficient Difference. Every body bees
the honor OF drinking wine with Mr. Owl
stare; every body IS anxious TO know what
Mr.. Owlstarc thinks upon the subject; every
body sends the incest cut in the whole sal.
mon, and the wing and the breast of the
chicken, TO Mr.. Owlstars. He goes into the
drawlng-room, and the lady of the house
carries him tea cup with her own hands.
whilst her eldest girl, ''who was seventeen
the fifth of last Scptembcr,' brings him the
cake. He eats and drinks an unconsciona-
Die quantity, but every body is continually
beseechlng him to eat and drink more. He
goes home about uine--a kind of dsaprcea-
Die cdricature Of Samuel Johnson; and his
absence occasions, unconsciously, SO gene
r1l relief, that the young people in the ex-
uherance OF their spirits, propose a quadrillc
ana the previous generation sit down TO
Whist, cniivenlng the pauses Of the game bv
the most animated enComiuu on Mr.. Owl.
stare.
The ITeGcie-toRgued-. lonsfer--is common
- female. She is probably would-be-
young old maid, who has worrncd herself into
sort ot paltry independence, principally bv
having hld several legacies left her. as the
wages OF toad-eating She visits good
number of inmilies Of rcspectability. on what
che considers an easy and intimate footing.
fhat IS to say, she can look in upon Them
very soon alter breakfast, or about tea.tinp
and she IS buFe not To derangc their dornos-
flc economy, for they viii say,--"Ohl j. il
only NlfsS Amelia Trcaelc-tonoue7" Her
conversation is very thickly studded with
tender appeiIotivcs; such as "my dear
"my love, terms in which she continually
addfesses all her female acquaintance
She - always very particular in her inquiries
on inc subject OF health and Is distressed----
quite dislrcssc4--to near Of tho slightest all.
mont 4 headache alarms" hor-...a couoh
"snggest the fear Of consumption, - goyo
throat makes her pathetic, and reminds her
OF "thc uncertainty Of human existence .,
She CATS 10 all after the patient every day.