Daily Richmond Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1828-1831, 1829-06-11

~ UEcLE's DIARY.
AL ra2L's pay.

Alb ro2L's DAY.
tpIi l.tyakc at eunrisc, tc elin tust i.i.r- .iis
head above the hills, and all the cast like a glowno
inncc--cnlic out 'tire! TO my nephew "a fireinanl
who jumped out of bed ia single garment plump I'M
broad dish of basty pudding, had placed by his
or' SIDE tue night pfcy.os-came flat upon his buck
liughcd ready. to kill myself and received for my
pms, stroke in the head from piece 6f the broken
dish; bed bcspanged with dabs uf pudding und soe-
~uht sticky--Iuuped up and thrust my feet into my
s'ippcrs--drcw thcin out with infinite prompti,udc
well bedaubed with tar; nephew uughed outright
mud saId had caught turter-when be turned his
unck Silly changed slippers; thought should have
died to see him put his fine cottons into chancery and
escaped downstairs opened the front door and giving
little fellow sixpence asked him TO 20 to the mhncr's
opposite Tor some moait curls, for my pct mlsguito
saw tho sly urchiu come from the miiner's. and
proceed TO the pastry cooks.-We nt to the breakfast
table and drank up the cream and filed the cream
Jug with lime water-laughed ready 10 burst to sec
tho housckeepcr pour it INFO all the cups--concluded
not to drink cream myself this morning. and swallow
cd down my bowl Of tea-found it catnip; didn't
Ike the toast, tasted of civit--thought should hive
hst my breakfast. Went down to the SHOP and asked
William, the clerk, if he had heard of his sweethearts
slckness-he looked astonished and said ''no' enor
: either" said l. but he didn't laugh-thoupht il
strange. Heated the handle of the broken tongs,
and handcd them to the blacksmiths boy to be mend
cd-langhed to sea him drop them on his foot won
dercd ne didn't laugh too.
IL o'clock sent Jem, the youngest prentice, with
shilling to the cooks shop, for two mutton custards g.
a clam sylabub; came hack with dead cat and said
it was oil they had asked for the sxpence-suid no
paid for the cat, but detected paraellogran of vim
gerbread in his pocket-slly put some assafetida on
it-thonght should have died to see him in the Sacl,
shop trying TO eat il.
I O'Clock, lady in the shop, Jem serving her; took
up newspaper and read "Monstrous barharity: last
evening a Gov had her oysters mixed with arsenic.
and died before size had finished the shells" Lady
begged the newspaper to take home with her: hotqh BIT
f.NttlA ~arlafna
paper without looking at it.
O'clock, going home to dinner little wicked
boy touching my coat flaps, squcaking out close your
handkerchief, sir" Too knowing Tor him and did
not look round-got home, and found my knocker
tied up--thought somebody was sick and hurried in
asked what was the matter? nephew L. .yhcd in INV
fice: took glass OF brandy and interchangeable
70 wipe my mouth and found my new bandanna had
vanishedrccollcced the boy in the street, and VOW
cd vengeance.
Detected the cook with full rat trap and suspec-
Ted trick, pretended had an invitation out-wcnt
down tho s. .eet to friend Smiths and as expected
was invited to stay and dinc-steak capital-had
hardly swallowed two Cubs, when message came
THAT my niece wos taken ill--run home and found
Ehc had taken some bug ointment, placed in nay room
--chucked on my escape, and gave her an enletic-
found the dinner all gone, stole to the housekeepers
secret closet ard demolished mncc pie and brace
Of rats: detected i'll the act and locked I'M forced up
the window and jumped ont, and putting in wo fierce
cats shut down and went to the shop boys told
doeful story Of the tils being robbed during dinner
rf all the spare CASH sent Of them for q consta-
bic, who coming proposed search, found all the
money III the drawer as usual great laugh at my eX
pcESe; had to pay constable one dollar.
Five O'clock sailed out to walk; espied Dr. Equn-
rus the cold water doctor told him Soreshns, the
rich mISeE very Sick saw him hasten to the
door nnd receive a basu OF cold water IA fayouritc
brcscVpiion) full in the face; laughed ready die and
found my back sticking To flesh painted walk has
c,ned home; observed tho house keepers face tftoed
with divers scratches; remembered the cats and
hughcd till wept homsckceper looked needless az
me bat said nothing, sat down TO tea. vi ran through
cracked saucer OnIny unspeakables, hOnsckeeper
laughed; ju1ped up suddenly and chair ditto; took
he sboenIskerswRx from the chair put il on the tail
at honsekeeper's favOritc poodle; laughed in my
sleeve 10 see him Jump iD her lap.
Went 70 Miss Flirfs cotiliOp party and asked SOW
raladies il :1ey had heard, that celebrated belle
lad eloped with her fathers co1chman soon perCei-
we'd general excitement: heard the same question
asked IN various parts pretended 10 smell sIBole,
when half dozen gents rushed up 10 the gurret; So
ctred ny favOrite partner and duet Of ice cfchuis:
found the former a. wars and the latter cold as
rould wish Z supper, took ont my snuff box. and
busted fat Mr. Gourmonds oysters; thought should
have died, to hear him abuse the pepper box; saw
Miss Mohair turn her back lifted the top Of her ice
cream and put in some Cayenne; saw her make hi
deOus faces, bit didn't dare 10 auoh put INV hands
10 my pnckeis, found a chicken wing Inv one and
Gt Of ham in tho other general laugh at my expense:
handed two old maids to their hack, and put the
cicsen wing and harn into the hoods their cloals
~. b. they had laugh he'd the oudest,a mo- and di.
rected the coachnan the wrong street; laughed all
the way up stairs osiled against dainso who
dropped her handkerchief and IFS enclosure. n large
niece ofpluIn-cake, saw IL seized bv hacknan and
roare1 with laughter. Miss Flimsyaskcd me 10 put
her hood; silly exchangedh and assisted her 70 her
carriage; trick undiscovered. Took leave; found
my now bat gone; name in Il; took the best
could find and hurried home; doom fastened; Knocked
-
got IN at tho backwiudow; fund hosekeeper ssleep
before The fire; took a coal and gave her pair oil
whiskcrs gratis took plate Of hot oysters from tho
hearth; otc nearly al of them; went to bed ond had
nc naiiigrnbs al night; bad suspicious, but never
said any thing. Moino: TO behave VOL 60 olsren
sfonths rndtWenfv-fiDc dare ecrward