Litchfield enquirer., 1829-04-09
From the Southern Galdry.


 Gentle Reader! have you taken peep at tho Microscope 2 We have--and the Lord have mercy onus andsave us from swallowing rats and racoOns, snakes and snapping-turtles! We have scarcely eat a monthful for week aud whether we ever eat again or not Heaven only knows. Ohl for the digestion of an ostrich, thot we nigh, live on pebbles.
 Since we saw this magnifer aud multi plier, not only the physical being, but of the n,iseries of this little bit of existence called life, how many deaths have we snt- iered! We have been thousand times dovoured by hideous monsters. The pip of chickens, and the 'quack' of young ducks, we havo distinctly heard within the precints of our mortal body--yca, more-- tho jumping of toads, and the kicking of surgeons, the crawling of Holsters, have we sensibly felt--and, of a truth, we have momentarily expected small alligator to pop his obtNse nose from between our ribs ; for thousands have we swallowed-yea, bipeds and quadrupcds-cen.ipeds and mil- lepcds--peds infinite; and things without pedi-birds, fish, reptiles and insects, of every class, order, genus, species, and va- riety--and millions upon millions that would puzzle BeelSebub himself for class, or good father Adam even for a name. Why, reader, to swallow cat or mon- key is nothing at all. Just keep your mouth shut, or, our word for it, some of these ras- cally negroes about our streets will drive a dray or horse down your throat.
 Wo happened to oat a fig or two, on the morning previous to the exhibition of tho microscope they did not exactly agree with our palate, and, by way of a correc- tive, we eat half dozen oysters, with n plenty of sharp vinegar with them. The said microscope convinces us, to our sor- row, of the, cause ofthe nauseM Tho sur- face of fig, render, about tho size of q pins head, was placed in the focus of the glass, and such Il scampering-Lord save us--at least a hundred beings, to human wisdom nameless,' about the size of musk. rats, and covered with bris,les, were dis. covered at full gallop one over another, a, you may have seen rats in meal.tub. w, took thevinegar in season, said we to our, selves that must have distroyed them But To! to our utter c0nsterna,ion, and a the expense of our appetite, we discovered in three minutes alterward, that, in a sin gle spoonful of vinegar, we had, bona fide swallowed some three or four hundred liv ing reptiles, in length, ut least, four and half feet. "" ~9''" tt'u
 It will doubtless be recollected that member of the French Academy, som years since, attempted to prove, in pape read to that learned body, that the acidit of certain liquids, was but in consequence of the shupo of it's particles which shap was said to be angular, and tho angles yer acute. How much trouble it would hav saved this sage in philosophy, could h have had peep at the microscope! Ho, easy the mystery would have been plain ed. We will convince the learned, beyon a doubt, upon this point, by the aid of th microscope and a syllogism. Hypo,hesi, The acidity of liquid is produced by ,h terrible kicking of these reptiles upon tn nerves of the tongue. Argument. Tn greater the age of the liquor, the greatt the number of reptiles contained. Th greater the number of reptiles, the nor kicking-crgo, the reptiles produce th acidity. But, to the microscope.
 A piece of skin (cu,icle) about the l6t of an inch in diameter, was placed betor this eighth wonder of the world, and (d you believe it, reader 2 it contains vein large enough for an engine hose.
 A word to the ladies. Beware what us ] you make of crapes and muslins-inr, u. less our senses deceive us, Cupid, allowin him to be the lubbeTly urchin represente by the painters, composed of sound fles and blood, with wings two fee, in lengtl