Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1829-07-02

ga Baobelor.' who has been So fortunate
as to obtain sdmi,tanre into Mrs. Wares Ro.O
sr 81 Tosss, adduces the following examples Of
the benefits scsruing from mstrimony.
BENEFITS OF MATRIaoSy:-I
went to one neightor. and solicited
donatiun for public object; he repli
ed, II approve ofthe object, &c would
assist you, bot you Know that have a
family, and that charity begins at
home
called on q second; he replied that
such as were able ought to be liberal,
and that he had every disposition to aid
me; but added he, II have s.rsngtr
claims 90 me, which | am bound 10
regard-those ofmy children"
A public charity demanded that q
messenger should be sent from the city
10 remote country. A person was
selected whose talents were we'll
dapied to the mission He replied, that
nothing would give him more plea.
sure, but it was absolutely impossible
on account of his family" He was
excused.
Two merchants, partners in busi
ness, failed: Al meeting ofths cred
TORS. il was resolved that the one
should he forthwith released; but that
The other, because he Was bachelor.
might yet, as was his duty. go to work
and pay still greater dividend
An insurance company were about
TO appoint . secretary. There was as
usual twenty applicants In the DIS
cnssions OF the boardof directors. the
talents OF many were set forth; when
member rose and said that ONE
whom he should propose was man Of
moderate capacity, bot that be was a
man OF moderate capacity, bul that he
was poor man with family. He
succeeded, and holds the Office still.
A mercantile friend wished me to
procure person to fill a responsible
station. A gentleman came who seem
ed well fitted for the Office. l asked
him how much salary he expected 49,
He replied smilIng, i am married
man which understood to be 81,
500 per annum He has the place
No bachelor would bad over $1,000
Two criminals were tried for for
gerry. at Old Bailey, and were con
demned to death The King pardon
ed the one who was married, on &C
count of his wife and children. The
other paid the forfeit of his life, being
u bachelor
10 short, would you avoid trouble of
many kinds, excite sympathy, procure
Office, or escape punishment, you have
only to be married II Bachelor.
A Defence Of Punning --NumskuIIs
apply The epithets -sretched puns, iep
wit, stupid nonsense, Sc Now, | re
peat it, neat pun is the cream Of wit.
and bright indication of clear and
brilliant intellect; as was evinced in
chimney sweep boy in Londsu, who
was turning corner at the same time,
in all opposite direetisD, with neatly
dressed soldier gong upon duty, while
the bov was covered with soot--"get out
If The ,oay, you b'ackguardp' says the
son of Mars" Biackguardtn says the
boy --",siai ,Uas you before you mas boil
ed? Here was rapid thought aad gen
uine wit, that would have done credit TO
any poet in England. None but the
deridsrs OF puns need be told, that Lob
stsrs, {the nickname Of British soldiers)
are biGck before they are boiled; which
operation turns them red; SO that enlist
ment and scarlet coat were boiling q
BLACKBOARD; nor was that all the chin
nsy brat was the lipe black lobster 10
bis aaturai state, the soldier a dead
creature in an unnatural state"
Boston Paiiad.
Mr.. GEoRoe w CARPENTER, who is
advantaseously known in the scientific
wsrld by various essays on several ar
ticles of the Msteria Medica, has. by a
series OF experiments, sscertainad in
their true proportions the saline ccusti-
tuents of the Saratoga Watsr, and, at
the suggestion of a number of the Fac
ulty, has undertakes to manufacture
the for the use of invalids. They are
prepared in powders, which are much
superior to the Seidlitz, and which, W hen
mixed in the proper quantity of common
water, hsve~the same efficacy and pro
pertiss as the draught from the Springs
This 10 a valuable chemical diseove
ry frsm the comparative cheapnsss aad