Literary cadet and Rhode-Island statesman. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1827-1829, 1828-03-05

finds il difficult to rid herself Of such
admirers. The men on the contrary,
are exempt from this evil, for they
can visit such only as are. agreeable
to them. The sequel Of the following
story, the truth Of which is authenti-
Gated, furnishes a happy expedient OF
getting rid Of such suitOrs as are al
luded to.
In a certain neighborhood lived a
young damscl, the only child Off plain
farmer our heroine, who We will call
Peggy, was a fine bouncing blooming
girl, but rather more inclined to zen
bon point" than the fashion Of the
time sanctioned; but Peggy was a girl
of too much good sense to repine at
the Questionable rotundity Of person,
and unlike some damscls Of similar
appearance, disdained to resort to
such expedients as are frequently
adopted BY the fair sex to bring about
diminution Of their person, such as
smelling at vinegar cruets, eating
picked cucumbers, and the like
Although our damsel could not boast
Of much Of that quality which by the
fashionable world is denominated re.
lincment, yet she possessed certain
portion of shrewdness and acutencss
which added no inconsiderablc eclat
to her character among the neighbor-
ing swains as may very naturally be
expected, she was surrounded by ad-
mirers, but as she was somewhat sus-
picious that their admiration did not
proceed so much from the size of her
person as Of her purse, she was rather
uncome- -at-abie.
Among her admirers was one whose
attentions were peculiarly offensive to
her; he was conceited, superficial,
pcstilent little fellow, whose vocation
was that of an itinerant tailor, going
from one farm house to another with
his goose and lapboard, transforming
the old garments Of the parents into
new ones for the children, &c. His
name was Zebedee Stitch. Our
Knight of the thimble, like many other
Knights before him, became dissatisfied
with his occupation and among many
other plans for amcliorating it, cast
his eyes upon the fine round person of
our heroine. If can only get her,
says he to himself, and that fine farm
of hers, PIl convert my goose into a
plough share, and my shears into a
pruning hook and why not p says he,
many man inferior to me, has gain
ed the affections Of likely girls as she
she is but woman, therefore to be
wooed.' Possessed with the idea that
his goose waxed old, and his thimble
rusty, all his thoughts and purposes
were bent to the attainment Of his de-
signs. Her dislike to him was uncon-
qucrable, and various we're the means
made use of by her to get rid Of his
opportunities, but they proved un-
availing, for he was totally insensible
to hints however plain and palpable;
she would pin the dish cloth to his
coat, set tubs Of dirty water in his way,
and cause him to tumble into them,
but he would always rise with the
most imperturbable serenity, laugh it
off as good joke, and consider it
rather as an evidence Of her affection
than Of her hatred. Among the many
unsuccessful efforts to shake him off
was the following: One evening she
manifested longing for some parch.
ed corn, and he to crafty her in her
desires, offered to go to the crib and
get her some after he had started
for that purpose, she slipped out after
him, and when she saw him fairly
housed among the corn, closed the
door and made it secure against his
escape, leaving poor Zebedee to
steep his senses in forgetfulness +" in
the "smoky crib, and hushed with
buzzing night flies to his slumber.''-
Next m orning he was discovered by
some Of the inmates Of the house, and
hue and cry Of a thief in the corn
crib was raised against him, but they
we're sorely puzzled when they discov-
cred that he was imprisoned in the
very place they mistook for the scene
Of his depreciation, The joke, how
ever, soon leaked out, and the poor
fellow sneaked off rather chagrined
and dishear,ened; but in the course Of
a few days his love had increased to
so insupportable degree, that he de-
termined upon renewing the SIEGE