Literary cadet and Rhode-Island statesman. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1827-1829, 1828-12-20
KIT WALLACE.


This ,alc is fom the Winters Wreuth for
l829-thc Liverpool " Annual" II Will need
no other recommendation to the notice Of our
readers than is afforded when we say il comes
Of the Peninsuias
There is scarcely a village any where in the
wide world, but has in il some half-witied being,
whom the very children feel privileged 10 mock
How often do we see such a crazy unfortunate
followed by a little tribe If urchm tyrsnts, tor
meDting and torturing it! some by the nick
name and the cruel laugh some by the mouth
swry or the broad grima CO = others by tho sly
pull at the ragged skirt and a few by the CO W
ard stone:-and a loud shout ef triumph the
little mob will give, when they succeed in maxi
ing the poor creature turn and stand a; bay I;
or run afer them in fierce, but, happily for
them, in impotent finger. Such a sight is not
uncommon. and, to a man Of thought and
feeling, il is very humiliating and affecting.
"f'le LITTLE dog. and all,
Tray, Bhmh and Sweetheart, see, they bark at me.'
cries Lear in his mad misery. els there any
cause in Nature that makes these hard
hearts!" All me I fear there 10. Kit Wal
lace, | call thee from thy grave. Let me paint
thy portrait record thy wrongs and relate
thy death. II moy be, some poor. feeble
minded being shall be treated the better for
this sketch Of thy inoeeasive life some stick
shall be raised in defence of a mobbed misera-
bic = some word of kindness DO spoken into an
ear accustomed only to revilng and reproach.
remember, in the .rdent and joyous days
ofmy early military life when my laughter
was" like the cracking Of thorns under a pot"
u poor, %half-witted man, who had enlisted
into the regiment know no, when or how.
He was certainly, poor fellow, TO use the ia
vorite phrase Of the dr~ill-sergeant, one of his
Majesty's hard bargains He was not crazy
he was not an idiot - co that there was no
way Of getting him discharged-for, at that
period, inspecting generals were very strict
about discharges ; bat he was a simpls:on Of
the silliest. The intelligence Of a child was
greater. 1t was we'll for him. perhaps, that he
had bean driven to enlist by i'll treatment at
home (; or envsigled by some adrcrt recruiting
sergeant, who wanted to pocket the bringing
money ; for in a regiment he was sure to be
clothed, fed, taken care Of, and governed.
Poor Kit |! to make a soldier Of him was impos-
sible. However, he had eyes, arms, and legs /;
and as he would not Use these last to desert, TO
get rid of him vas impracticable. He had n
SLOUGH and ho was a sloven. He never stood
in the proper position Of a soldier nor did he
ever put on his clothes and appointments like
one. Officers and drill Sc rgeants gave him up
in despair. He sunk into a sort Of privileged
charu cter f; one who was
"Cnapt to learn, and formed Of stubborn auG.'
"Kit was in the company of which l was
the Lieutenant 4, for a while my pupil, but soon,
and oftenlimes-I write it with a blu.h-often-
lines my Jest. Upon inspection and review
days, l hid him as we'll as | could put hun on
a rear-guard, or in an awkward squad oflately-
Joined recruits ; employed him for the day as
a cook, or on fatigue duty, or as a line or bar
rack Orderly some out Of the way post or corr
ner was found, in which to conceal Kit but
il owing to unioward circumstances, such an
arrangement could not be fecled, ( would get
him well cleaned, and his appointments well
put on, by one Of the smartest Of my corporals /:
and then place him in the rear rank, and q
| clever sergeant behind him, with his eye con-
%siantly on him, to prevent him from discredi-
ting the company by his plumbers.
1t may be supposed, that such a subject soon
became the butt Of his comrades ; they never
wan'ed a joke. when he was by /; they tormen-
ted him necessarily. They played him tricks at
which he himself sometimes gave the laugh
OF Stiffness (; while at others, he would blubber
like a baby on these last occasions, l would
rebuke him, and punish the men buff often,
too often, shared in the laughter. Poor Kit !
he went with US TO the Peninsula (: / remein-
Der him well in our marches there. My old
captain, who was one ofthe bcst-tempered men
I ever met with, would sometimes be provoked
into a violent passion with HIM and while he
punished half the company for teszing HIM,
would threaten, in a voice OF thunde., Ito ride
down Kits throat - The only threat which
over effectually silenced him when he was in
the mood to blubber and below and tho only
punishment, if a threat be a punishment, he
ever re Ceived.
The Stiffness Of the poor fellow was incredi-
BILE. l remember, on one occasion, when the
regiment was drawn up, expecting to he i'm
mrdiaiely engaged, and was in charge Of the
company ; MS a simple act OF duty. | placed
hun in tho font rank lest, by his extreme
awkwardncss, he might do some injury, in
firing, to the man who would otherwise have
stood in front Of him. Ii is a ludicrous fact,
that the poor fellow complained to the Colonel,
as he WINS riding down the line. that l had
pia ced him in the front rank to get him killed.
- Is no not in the front rank himself, you fooll'
was the Colorels reply. This shows, first,
alas I that poor Kit regarded all tho world,
and mo amongst them, as his enemies-next
] that he had not much Of the hero in his compo'
\ sition. This little incident was never forgotten
by the men Of the company ; and they plagued
him about il to the end Of the war but many
a voice that gibed and icsred was, in success
sion, silenced in death. lie was one OF the
lev survivors in the company, at the iernaina
ton Of those memorable campaigns. He W.
present in every battle, and ON every march
The handsome, end the happy, and the hardy
fell around him Kit lived on. Al The cloes
Of the bloody battle Of Albuorn, whom ] saw
him safe upon the 6sId Of earrsge was g'ss