Literary cadet and Rhode-Island statesman. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1827-1829, 1828-12-10
KEEP OUT OF THE KITCHEN.
Vince ignufayce rs bins,
tsI'.. E.ll,, A.. H.. 49,. "

"Youa are too inqhsiuvs. "-"s.I Pry."
|" Csr'Ssaty ciusrd the expaiti"n OF COR n'st panns fen
Paradise - Somebody else
In our coIlege-days, we once stroiled i,.te the
kitchen Of the great hall, benny '.naturaily Gu
rlous," to Learns how cooking was man aged On
a scale SO extensive, as 10 meet the " ants Of
some two hundred Students. II WAS "a Qsss,sr
of an hour before breakfast, and an enorsso0s
kettle, filled with coffee las 1t was dcnolnmst-
ed,) hung gloonily over the ire. AZ its smn-
sents boiled and %bubbied, we observed ever aid
anon some dark substance, evidently toe largo
10 be a grain OF Coffee rising 70 the surfn co. and
insanity ducklng down, as ii its deeds msro
EVIL. What was it! OF that very sane liquid
in tfieon minutes We were TO partake VIC were
TO persuade our palate that II was bona fids
coffee, despite Of all insinuations that 1T was
made OF poplar leaves and damaged rye.-.
What could that mysterious black substance
be! Was II a Sturgeon, or q negr0's head, or
a stick of wood, or u stone pipe! The quest
ION was one vi great personal INTEREST cur,os-
ity took tine alarm = cur evil star had D, o, iied
a cane we plunged il IN the boiling ocean be.
fore US, and raised to the light Of the laughing
morn, an old hat. Heavens! what a drscoso-
ny even now We tremble at the hory.d recol-
lection. . .ea
Ia a lew minutes we were in the breakfast
ball, carrying the hat on the csne's point
There were our classmates rnaslica ing, with
all their might, the toughest head IN Jlrssten-
don, and pouring down their devoted threats,
cup after cup vi That internal beverage. [Read-
Ell, permn us TO become 1 for a few ipinu,es.
We sounds 50 outlandlsh in a diniog.e.l 1
took my place mex, 10 my friend Fsank s,sn-
ley.
Frank, what are you drinkingi'' -
"Co,Iee.' y
"Will you take your oath Of thaf2"
"What the deuce 40 you mean!' ~n
"l have been in the kitchen l hsye made
u lerribie d'scovery-pnt down that Cup, for
mercy's sake!" "a
[.iere the whole table caught the ALARM
"speak Out, speak OUT" rcsounded on. al
s.dss.1 4.
"FelIow-Juniors, you fondly imagine that
you have been drinking coiiee-no sucl, ,h,i,g
-ycu have been drinking HAr-soup hss, Is
tho HAT itself [LoIdng up The still rs,t x
boru3le mass, which bad h.en boiled ,Alss a
poiygorl five minutes ago | fshod this on, e
the coiieo-keitle!' aor.p -
The sane Junior Class was. composed OF, cs
many reckless dare-devlls as were evlIY .sn-
lgrega,ed under one roof-thsy cared COLI, 2
tor tbunder-claps or Stages IN the proceaG Of
ueing capsized Trey iad once set at de,is aso
all the militia vi ---- coUnty; but this DIS
cofefy was too mach for tliein-every one rae
appalled,, a~d they all left the room mutl.,nry
execsations. That night the cook ~as.aued
and &c .thered, and rode on q raid, aud rti,e
keeper of TIE hall was burnt in efigy. Iusser
tock another cup OF COLI ge-cofoe. a.oy -.
The story has 'ts moral. Curiosity, eb0h
kicked Eve out Of Eden, and sem Do, tor Fl,e.
tus IL old N holas (famlliarly and @. q arm,iy
called Old Nick) is az fatal to the physicsi.s
il IL to the intellectual app5tns. The ireearf
knowledge is not the 'rae Of lie, and .d .re
ga,hcr the frui ofrbs foruor. we, lose ON AL.
18Th for that of the later. Reader, If yo. are
IN line to p.nqnitude-if you live ~ an liter
dlancr dread OF appoplexy-In ihre @eekt YOU
will tie as tain as Cassius, without his .sh.nt.7
look" But e you wish 10 enjoy the mad
things Of life, seek not to be too wise and
ABOVE all things nee? out cfthe ksfcAem
So with The stage. TIE time was-wbsss a
hung with breathlrss interest on the .rsuc,.
scene. But, one fatal night, we went hsit. d
the scenes We took a glass Of sine svis;s v.f.
einius. cracked a Joke will, Appins Cisud ma,
and made our best bow 10 Vrginis. just alder
the old man had killed her p.tLs Hsrket Tie
charm wa, broken the golden .ssjn -ol ,s.~s.
nation was sevrred--it has never ussA rs,uu,-
tsd,-N Y. Goa, isr. .',.s.,.- vsar~.s
astrqe4 sFF aRrf|