Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1828-06-12
Wlscell

Wlscellaneotts.
III want Of a Husband A young lady
was once told by married lady that
she had better precipitate herself from
off the rocks of the Passaic Falls, into
the basin beneath, than marry. The
young lady replied, Il would if thought
could find husband at the bottom
A Scotch Psdsstr ian attacked by three
highway men, defended himself with
great bravery, but was at last over
powered aud his pockets rided. The
robbers expected, from the extraordi
nary resistance be made, that he had
considerable booty about him; but on
examination of bis pockets, they were
surprised to discover the whole treasure
which the sturdy caledonian had been
defending, consisted OF no more than
crooked sixpence. The Deuce is in
him, said one of the rogues--if he had
had eighteen pence, | suppose he would
have killed the whole of u.s.
All for The best. AS all the rivers
upon the face of the globe, however
circuitous they may be in their progress
and however ic their course, yet meet
| at last in the ocean, and there contri
butte to increase the mass of waters so
all the seemingly dlscordant events in
the life of good man are made to pre-
serve, upon the whole, an unerring ten
dency to his good. aud concur and con
sPire for promoting it at the last
lour readers we thak, will be pleased by pc.
rusiBg the following very witty LOTTERY ad
vertsement, which appeared some 'ime since
in philadelphis 1t IS from the pen OF Mr.
Charles Clements proprietor Of The Neptune
Lottery Office, opposite MIR. Yohe's HOTEL
A COAT OF ARMS.
In the notes of an ingenious and hu
injurious little poem, written some
years ago, the au'hor says, that the
science of Hcraldry is derived trom
he emblems displayed by Suffers
who followed King Richards army to
the Holy Land Ii we take other
matters in this light, may not the de
vices and signs of our day, be immor
talized al some iuure period, and worn
as badges of honorable distinciioni-
Let Us take view of them Exam.
inc Beer and Cakes heref'- Oh
serve the bottle; 10 coaXiog slope it
leans towards The Iumber and insIent
el0quence seems TO implore delivery;
The cork is withdrawn-and the ex
ploslve liquid, setting at defiance every
law save that of gravity. fails in
rainbow shower, into the friendly re-
cipieDt. Here is beauty aud effect -
and sample of the artists exclusive
Alent. Then we have the Strug gier
very appropriate sign for Z. man III "a
hurry to go through The world And
we have the TN ee Gait Balls; which
means, perhaps, that there are three
chances to one if you ever redeem
your watch or breeches. IN. ID Go
ing to pawn is like going TO law -
Talking OF breeches, puts us IN nina
OF the following sign: few years ago,
10 certain CITY OF Europe, when fail
ures were much in fashion, and adver
Using was expensive, al tha, delu
Iuent did vas TO shut up, AMI hang
pair OF indispenslbles al the upper
window, withthe pockets turned out
This HE, ogiyphic paid all demands.
10 our own Green Isle, every one
knows what is meant by Good acct
Lodging; it does not indicate that you
will be put off with wet blanket, tut
that yoa vii not be put off with dry
lips. And 10 The same land of hu
mour, s1hite rag hltched to a twig
at the door, (emblematic Of the pacific
beverage) invites to noggin OF but
termak:: while tauf, swung by
slrlng, is equally fguratiye-"Come in
and take a sup of the atncircumctsed;
q. e. native poteen.) Next we have
The appropriate and eloquent sign of
Cradle and Co6in---the Alpha and o
mega, indeed me only two al Iicles We
IndisPensibly rsqnire, and yet the only
two we are at least solicitous about.-
There is nothing sure but death and
taxes.
W. 4