Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1828-02-14
( Furet de LondreS.

FUTeJ dc L0HdTeS.
We have noticed lately several pro
positions made to printers, 10 take
trade, for their newspapers. One was
asked to take the price out in fddling, a
mother in tooth pulling, and a third il
co1ins We oave had proposition
which beats them ALL a subscriber,
IN putting down the rhino and order
ing his name OIL our list as unceremo
nlously as the Grand Sultan of Con
stanilnople would order off head,
Informed us that he would still take it.
II we would print such paper as
Duff Green's't! Now, by the pa
tisnce oil Job, this bangs all To
listen to the harmony OF horse hair and
cat quits pleasureabie 10 loose tooth,
especially an useless one, is endura-
Die; and 10 get into snug CcFIn,
when weary wight has trudged thro'
world OF wo,' is not so bad; bot to
abandon principle, decency and du'y,
for the sake of patronage, requires
more pIlancy than we possess No
we would rather be a toad, and feed
upon the vapours of dungeon, than
be such a pcinter, even for Senator ial
patronage - Vu Free Press.
MANS LIFE. we copy from the Truth
feiler, an interesting ire wspaper publ
cation, issued from the New York press,
the annexed whimsical calculation, in
relation to the life of man, the pernsal
OF which cannot fail TO crafty the
reader:
MIR. Wishing to appear in
your columns, in some shape Or other.
if il is possible for me TO manage it,
will give you little philosophical me-
mnrandum. which, perhaps, might, like
birch rod in the hands OF the school
master, be warning to the idle.
According to the assurance tables,
person of 81 years of age, may expect
to live SO ia years or l2,22s days
longer.
Ii he eats at the rate of two pounds
weight per diem, he will devour Q 1856
pounds of provisions, or II tons nearly
1.-The drinks at the rate of Ia quarts
of liquid per diem, he win swallow
10 S4a quarts.
If his average time of night rest is
10 hours per diem, he viii be dormant
122, $50 hours, OF IS years IS days.
10 dressing, undressing, shaving,wash-
ing, eating, drinking, sc, he will, at
least, expend hours per diem, which
amounts, during his life, to 24,456
hours or Q years 976 days.
1.-THE man has his hair cut once
month, he will sit under the tonser 400
times, aud thus expend 100 hours, OF
about four full days.
Ifhe only takes medicine. on the a.
verage, twice a year, and each time
insert into the stomach, half gill of
Drugs he will have to drink more than
Q gallons of nauseouS ingredients, and
distourt his countenance with 81 sepe,
rate wry faces
IL in shaving, he fetches blood once
fortnight, he will in this manner, dur
ing his life, be annoyed s7s times; and
If he shaves four times a week, he will
la.her and scrspe his chin 6,96s times.
The total quantity of time expended
in disagree cable, senseless and unsa-
tsfactory manner, will be about az, 900
hours, or upwards of II years, which
deducted from the number of years, to
five, (SS q make the time that we
have in our power to employ ourselves
prohtably and agreeably only I6 l-s
years.
Time once lost never can be re.
covered.' ID.
A buck with a segar in his mouth
entered Mr. Cross rnenagerie last
week, when Mr.. Cross requested the
visitor to take the tweed" from his
mouth lest he should learn the monkies