The Litchfield County post. [volume] (Litchfield, Conn.) 1826-1829, 1828-02-21


The offence laid in the indictment, was ''steaI-
ing goose" 1t ought to have been stated a
dead goose. Moreover. the head was off; it
was therefore only part of a goose that she
stole. The indictment was accordingly held
to be- defective, and her Iadyship of course es-
capped.
On recent trial, an freshman, with char
acteristic obIiquity Of speech. after scratching
his head, said, " Phase your Honor, do not
remember-or if do, forget it now"
Judge Breckenridge, in reprmand!ng
criminal, among other hard names, called him
a scoundreI. The prisoner replied, "Sir,
am not so great scoundrel as your Honour
--takes me to be-" Put your
words closer together" replied the Judge.
Foote was rafting one evening in the green
room. when a nObleman, who seemed highly
entertained. cried out, Well Foote. YOU see
swallow all the good things" DO you.my
lord Duke, says the other, " then congratu-
late you on your digestion, believe you new
er threw up one Of them 10 vour life
Let ancent or modern history be produced.
they will not afford more heroic display than
the reply ofyankee Stonngton, to the British
commanders. The people were engaged in
piling the balls which the enemy had wasted
when the foe applied to them. g We tcant
bats, ,0iH yow sell them ?" They answered.
~. scant poOdersead us po,oder, and soeIt
return your ball."
Mr.. surH--
SIR was lately perusing an old London
Magazine of 90, in which found the follow
ing anecdote; should you think it worthy of
| place m your paper, as it might be enter
tanning tosOne OF your readers. and you will
please constant reader by giving it an inssr-
ton.
As an itinerant preacher was out on his
circuit, he was overtaken by two scholars,
| (who had been taking cup of ale too uluch)
with whom he was soon drawn into CONVEX
sation. They at last dared him to preach
when, contrary to their expectations, he in
stant'y dismoaned from his horse, and, get
ing into hollow stump, preached the fol-
| lowing sermon.
| Beloved, let me crave your attention ; for
[ am little man, come at a short warming to
| piNHSh bA"i Nip'iS upt'Ii II SfIldl SUBJECT,
to a thin congregation ia all unworthy pulpit.
And now, beloved, my text is Aatt, which
cannot divide into sentences, because il has
n0ne--nor into words, because it is but ONE
nor into syIiAbies, because upon the whole
matter) it i, but a monosyllahIA' therefore,
| must, as necessity enforces me, divide it into
letters,Which | find il my text to be only these
few, VI, A, L, T, Malt. NJ, (my belsved) is
/ ynor.} A &C 7 = 4 ,
| theo!ogicN.' The moral is well set forth to
teach you drunkards good manners-there-
| fore, NJ my masters A all of you, L listen, T
to my text The alGegoricaI is when one thing
is spoken and another thing is meant. Now
| the thing spoken of is bare Mat, but the
thing meant is strong beer. which you rustics
make NJ meat, A apparel, L liberty. and I
| treasure-the literal is according to the letter,
| NJ much, A ale. L little, Il thrift. much ale
little thrift-the theological is according to the
effects which it works, which | find in my
text to be Of two kinds :; 1st in this world. ed,
| IN the world to come. list. In this world tn
| effects which it works are in some M, murder,
IN others A, adultery, in some L. looseness 0i
| lite. in others II, treason. Cd. In the world
to come. in some. NJ. misery. IN Others, A,an-
gush, in some. L, languishng, in others, r,
| NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. my nEst Use snail be eX-
hortation NJ my masters, A all Of you, L
leave, 7 tipping, Else, I'd, by way ofcom-
m'natlon. say, NJ my masters, A all of you,
l. look for, 7 torment So much for this time
and tcXt-onIy by way of caution, take this
a Drunk0rd is an annoyance to modesty, the
trouble of civ,lity, the spoil ofwealth, the de-
structlOn Of reason, the brewers agent, the
ale house bene factor,the bcggar's companion
the constabes trouble, his wifes woe, his
chdrpns' sorrow. his neighbours scof, his
own shame, a walking swM tub, the picture
of beast, and the monster of man-to con-
ciude
Say well and do well both end with letter,
Say well is good, but do we'll is better.
From the Vermont Chronicle.
A NEIuHBORLY CHAT.
| How dOaS n hannah coid NohaI W;Ieo,