The Massachusetts spy, and Worcester County advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1825-1831, 1828-06-11
IMAGINARY INVALIDs.
From Hoods Sayings and D0ings''-

From Hoods Sayings and DoingS' '--.Nicao
Series
" Cbamomile tea, Mrs. Crosby, if you please .
said Mr. Crosby q have had five pints OF wa
ter Cruel since bed time. / cannot bear any
more"
Just as you choose, my angel" said Mrs
Crosby: Caroline, dear, run before, and shut
the windows in the breakfast parlor; your papa
is going down.
Caroline flew to obey her mothers mandate
7" I'll take little ether" said Mr.. Crosby,
before 90 out, for have had a few slight
touches Of the flying govt during the night,
Mrs. Crosby"
g Indeed, my life = said the lady :" can
assure you have not suffered little myself;
an attack Of my old pcripneumony did not me-
liorate the pains Of my lumbago. Nor am |
quite easy about my orysipelas."
Come, dearest, said the invalid husband,
lend me your arm-ring for Richards to put
the pillows in my chair--bring down the book,
and let US see what S to be done next"
And in this order of march, proceed Mr.. and
Mrs Crosby to the breakfast parlor, which had
been previously sealed by the assiduity Of Caro-
line.
1t was July; the tea.urn steamed upon the
table; the room had q southern aspect, and the
sun shone full into it. Mr. Crosby had just TAX
en- ether, and his lady had just been rubbed
down with Steel's opodeldoc. Caroline pro-
ceeded to do duty at The breakfast table.
"Oh," said Mr. Crosby as nc sat down,
" what sudden pain at the back Of my mead"
g Gracious ,ae! cried Mrs. Crosby ''at
the back Of your head, my life-a leading symp-
tom of apoplectic tendency"
And my feet arc hot, cold as the weather
isl continued Mr.. Crosby.
q Whom thn n xtreiDitips are chilled. Carolina y
muttered Mrs Crosby to her daughter-in-law
/" the book says death is approaching
EYES, said Caroline, half smiling, " towards
the end of long and wearing disorder but
not surely in papas state of health"
Health, child" exclaimed Mr. Crosby
Z" why, neither that suffering angel, nor myself
have had half an hours health-since."
Since interrupted Caroline, "you have
devoted yourself to the study Of DR.. Buchan
indeed, my dear father, that book Of fate SHOULD
not be opened by the world at large"
! ''Tis an admirable book, chIld, said Mrs
Crosby and, although it is the fashion to laugh
at it now, it has saved US hundreds of guineas
which we else should have paid to the physi
cians
Sand has cost you thousands which you
have paid TO the apothecar;cs," said Caroline
g Only hear what cousin William says about it.
! Who quotes me ~ exclaimed cousin Will
I
! liam, opening the door.
II" said Caroline, and her bright eyes spark
led, as her young and elegant cousin made his
appearance; upon tho old subject OF that obi
Gus book"
"What," said the young guardsman, +" max
! ing fresh war upon the BachaRecrs P'
. William" said MIR. Crosby, "you may cal
us what you please, but the discovery of on
disorders in time, tends to the salvation of thu
constitution"
"Truly so, my dear uncle,' said captain
Morley, provided you do discover them blu
since. disorders generally begin with fever
tho incpient symptoms Of all must naturally
more or less resemble each other; and thus fan
! cy, which, like conscience, " doth make COW
ards Of us all" ckes out of tho rest Of the prog
nostics, and think ourselves suffering under
combination of ills, by which, in fact, we arr
not in the slightest degree assailed."
Look at Carolines check; William" sal,
Mrs. Crosby, what do you think of the fiusl
which you see upon il at this moment.
Think said Morley, that It rivals tn
virgin rose
"Oh, William, ? said Caroline