Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1828-11-20

No one but an edi.6r can Judge accurately OIL
the truth Of the following, from The Boston
Daily. Advertiser. Editors have troubles en-
ougb; but il is some alienation, that we have
those among us who can tell them so pleasant
ly:-
To those who are unacquainted with the plea
SAINT perplexities which attend the management
Of the press, there would be something very
ludicrous in a knowledge In the shifts 10 which
its conductor is frequently reduced. Hamlet
The Dane, his dear OpheIia, and the ghost OF his
departed father, swallowing a hasty supper OF
sausages between The acts Of the play, would be
a delightful spectacle, no doubl-and hardly
less SO is tina, Of an editor, debating whether
he can best afford to be gay OF grave in his
forthcoming sheet, and consulting the papers
of the Southern Mail and The book of Foreign
Arrivals at Merchants Hall, to ascertain whe.
lher he is 10 indulge in . grand display Of he>
roic eloquence, show off his sharpness in q
smart re'ort, rave through a bitter invective, or
exhaust his vernacular, in an inflated panegy-
rio. "How great a fire a little matter kind>
leth," do We involuntary e~xclsim, when we be.
hold the columns OLA weekly print, filled even 10
oyerfowing, with The outpourings Of a patriot
ism, which, if the village mail bag did no, some
times come in lean and lank, would probably
slumber on in an eternal rest.
We have often compared an editor 10 the
provider OF a table d'hole, who must supply his
customers with daily a!imehi, whether there
be any thing in store or not; whether the mark.
{. is crowded with the abundance Of good
things, or there be- a scarcity approaching 10
a famine. He is obliged TO serve up Q bounti-
full supply Of plain, substantial food, Tor the
mater Of fact people, who have no taste Tor
~"Hu.nmerv," as they elegantly denominate what
ever does not exactly suit their Own palate: then
there must be eairemeis and made dishes for the
fastidious inquirer after ~niceties, whip, sylla-
bulbs and triHes for the ladies, and perchanec,
a stock Of sugar plumbs and swretmeats for
the children. He must excite The palate, and
try to crafty the disordered appetite, as we'll
as afford satisfaction 10 The calls Of real huns
ger. And he is also expected 10 furnish The
sparkling champagne Of VIII, and TO bring for
ward good humor, which shall communicate
lis blindness 10 the soul like generous old Ma
deira, and divers other qualities for which we
can find no apt illustrations. And how often,
after all his exertions, is he in the condition Of
Fallstaff with his ragged regiment, ashamed Of
what he is compelled 10 show 10 The world -
"There's but a shirt and a half in ali my COM
pany," says the fat knight. There's but the
tithe Of all idea in my whole paper, may often
say the unhappy editor. Yet even in the depth
Of his distress there is one cheering thought.
There are others around him Of the same trade,
from whom he may borrow, or beg, if he may
uos steal. Sir John, whom we have quoted a.
bove, consoled his misery at the nakrdness Of
his troops, with the reflection that they would
"ind linen enough on every hedge,"-ihe ap-
.I...,.n, IF kic sdaa In Tho ~ ,un are ftte-
fmaginations
uf our readers.