Literary cadet and Rhode-Island statesman. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1827-1829, 1828-11-08
MISCELLANY.
(Fron u Young Lady's scrop BooA)
MISERIES OF A BACH Flor.

rate inc HilScfics Oh DdcnsIOfs
Many aud great arc a bachelors suierlngs,
YEARLY, dearly, pass all has days.
Stranger IL he To the b0sOm's soft offerings
That rive, ate clion when beauty decays.
frlond TO ehrieiy, oft TO impieiy,
Foe to society, foe TO the far Ing,
Vosailon unceasing, aud gloom hrs heart sez-
Are ever increasing the bachelors care"
Capricious IN his temper, and penn-
rious ~ his disposition, the bachelor Is
generally neglected, sometimes despiscd,
for the want ofthOse qualities that eidear
mar to man:
"Elated or detected he's little respected,
HIS brow and his forehead distempered with
gloom;
HE intellect clouded, his eyes are enshrouded
In horrors az baseful az those Of the tomb.
lie nc'cr knows the blIsses Of conJugal kisses,
That when aught amiss Is, console u fond
Nor w,ic's kind embra ces, nor children's sweet
faces.
But all one can trace is-a bachelors Carol
Some bachelors apply to Bacchus for
that consolation which alone they could
have procured at Hymon's altar in the
company of u loving %virtuous consoIt.
knew oicc a bcvy ~ofbachclOrs who form
ed themselves into a society, and IN Il few
| year turned out a miserable set Of drunk
ards.
"Bohold here another less cynical brother,
Who reels 10 tho tavern TO Danish his pain,
There, like a fish drinking. he's freed from all
thinking.
And DOING I'LL morning. then tipples again
Thus bravely he swindlos, while property Twin
And lean arc his spindlos from want and hard
Till you hear him confess, in n tone Of distress,
How devoid Of redress Is a bachelors care!'
The real mlseries of u bachelor are
many, aud his imaginary ones more nu-
merous still. lie IL sad ,comiortloss, and
lonely; REJECTED, neglected and despIsed
deserted by the women, unexpected by
the men, cheated by his lan!lady, impos-
cd upon by every tradesman he employs,
desp,sed by his servants and cntombed
in his house, II he keep one; %iriendless,
cheerIess, helpless aud i%orlo'n; he APP
pears like u garden, without a shrub, flow
er or plant To adorn it; like IA house with
out a window; Il trunk without a branch,
or a branch withon. "A leaf: he stands IN
the wilderness Of life, not as a cooling
spring with fruitful banks, but as u bar
rem, parched rock, around whose head
the winds Of the desert rush in bowling
| blasts. His heart feels nc flame Of kin
bred affection, nor his sou! n spark OF
| cele stial love: no children run to lisp
his return no endearing partner to greet
hun with fond affection; no babes to climb
his knees 'the envied kiss to sharo;' no
Joyous circle to hail hun ms a protector
and "a freud. But instead,
"see the unsocial drone eating his bit alone,
Stirring the fire up 10 cheer his despair;
| Though burn the ire brightly, yet all goes not
rightly,
For VINO o or bore lightly a bachelors carol"
Every bachelor ought to take the IT'S
%olution OF Benedict, when he eXclaims,
: Shall quips aud senlenccs, and these
paper bullets of the BRAIN IA man from
the career Of his humour! NO:the world
must bt peopled When | SAID | would
de d bachelor, / did no! think that l
should live TIL | were married. rather
than be taxed above his fcllOw-cOuntry-
men; Tor IN the printed schedule for the
assessed laxes, 4 find the following note
to the drc!a' atIOn:-' Bachelor, keeping
male Sol liable to the duty No. /,
are requested by the act to place the let
ter Is against their signatures, or they
will be subject to the penalty Thus
parliament lakes %cOgnisaDcc oil these sol
iiary Leiugs. | am sure If a petition
wero presented to MIR. Goulburn by the
spins,ers of the United Kingdom, a hea-
vier duty would be imposed upon the
bachelors than ~ at present LEVIED; and
which might Increase progressively rom
twenty-five to sixty, alter winch they are
not worth paper and INK. AT t"enty-o one
man leaves his %inianllne state, $50 says
the law and then he should associate
with his fair country women. Attwenty-
five make proposals, aud, at the latest,
marry al thirty; if not, he hcsItales at
thirty-fve, and at forty, Time informs
HIM tvs late in the afternoon Of life. At
forty-five his relations are looking for
ward to his property, for no has no per-
son that sincerely wishes hun TO live
long. At fifty he Gcspairs of recovering
lost opportunities, deslsts from the pur-
suit, and lives a spectacle OF s~ellishness,
creduIity and procrastlnalIon. What
shall he do! Let hun go to tho hulks,
take advantage Of the first recruiting
party, and enlist for a soldier; 60 on
board the tender at %Spilhead, or ontomb
himself in some OF TIE Cornish mines
any where, 30 that no leaves rational
| society, Of which he is an unworthy