Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1828-09-20
From the Nsw York Satesman.
THE ART OF CROAKING.

mems of the genus Chiefly among plethora
bachelors Of sixty, with cramp in the stomach
and govt in the legs, or dowagers OF CORES Pon-
ding antiquity, afflicted with ,oo,h-ach Il asth-
NAL but never have we known the croaking
business to be so completely reduced TO SCI
ence, as since the passage and approval OF me
new Tariff II is now as systematic and this
is saying volume) as the art Of putting, itself
There is the croak-direct, the croak-oblique, x
the croax. C oliateral. Scarcely day Is permits
ted 10 pass without croak from one or other
Of the Internationally; and unhappily instead
of "aggrara,iug their voices so as 10 croak us
"as softly as any sucking dove" they so 20 The
very top Of their compass, aud bid fair to carry
off the s,en,orian laurels of those high might
pesses the bulI>frogs. And should IL SO chance
that the editor himself has exhausted his mag
az,ne of mus,y epithets snd Pao,ian logic, he
gives place 10 some kind correspondent, with
wallet full Of new fragments.
The mode Of proceeding among these parties
often brings TO ou: mind the plan OF rehear'
sal: musical rehearsal, Of course, inasmuoh as
croaking has nearer relation to the orchestra
than the Stage, it being no more nor less than
music Of an in,olerably bad description. Thus
the leader begins, he croaks out his score and
makes signal to the seco nd; the second, "seizts
the theme Jus, but begun" and croaks on a dill
frrent key; the principal waits Tor his cue; and
chimes in making an awful due'to; at the ca
de nee or close, the leader mods 20 a neighbor
on the left, who roars of in base, he elabo>
rates to the extent of his notebook, when
friend on he right catches the burdens; and al
ter he has prac.ised deal Of cultural harmony
(qui,e enchanting If one could understand it.,
they all snatch the appropriate word, and JOIN
in chorus (somewhat in the fashion OF those
odd miscellaneous lazzaroni who used 10 be
clustered for like purpose at The Italian opera
finishing the first act with deal Of pahos-
"Let US all-be unhappy ,ogeth-er!-'o-
geth-er!--Let US all-be unhap-py to-geih
-er!!!!" Ths second, third, fourth, and fifth
acts are pretty much to the same effect We
this subject has been recently given us by
friend viz: tina, should the Tariff indeed be-
come so misc HE vous as to retard the impora-
ton Of woolens from England it will yet give
an impulse TO differen, speculation 1.-The i'm
por,ing Of bowling derrishes from CONSTANT
nople!
The croakers make all sorts Of uses Of the ia
Iismanic name Of a certain respectable old gen
tleman, known as Mr.. Political Economy, yet
the Cirec ton in which they attempt 10 enforce
his doctrines, leads one TO excaim in the words
Of Moth, "These fellows have been at feas,
of Political Economy, and have stolen his
scraps" Sometimes they make Mr. P. E. stand
on his head; sometimes on his feet; and some
times on all tours. Now they carry him On
their shoulders, and again they tumble him I'M
der their feel; to-day, they dissect him until he
is literally stripped Of all identiy, aye, and of
all entity into the bargain; and 10 morrow they
double him up like silk handkerchief, and
stuff him in their coat pockets. In their hands,
Political Economy, Esq Of Economy place,
Justice Of the Peace and Armigero, is little else
than king Of paste board, with packthread
for his bone * s,new; through the aid Of which,
properly managed by the knowing ones, he can
be made to cut all SORTS :of fantastic tricks;
and we grieve to Say, in addition, that his cou-'
sin g. rman, Adam Smith, LII. d. is served
with very nearly the same ssuce.
We have remarked that there are three kinds
Of croaks; the croak direct, the croak oblique,
and the croak collateral. We shall furnish an
example Of the croak direct, in the mode Of the
Evening Post, that paper bring chiefly Levot-
ed TO this branch Of the mystery, although it
does not wholly disdain the exercise of its ia
Tents on. the other two.
"PERNIcIoUs RESULTS OF The TARIFF. In re-
gard to this calamilous me asure, brought ABOUT
Nv oiUu 'i'bS SSTNlHR dumiIilSlTdllOIl, u
has become our solemn duty to cry out, and
spare not. The subject daily shews itself in
new and more odious lights, and therefore de-
mans no, only severe, but oft repeated animal
version. lie, us be INDUCED with a recapitu-
laion. In the first place, il has set US TO groan
ing; which, to say nothing Of the pain it occa>
sions individually, (and we assure our readers
however some waggsh tariff-i,es, seeing our
perseverance, may insinuate that we take plea>
sure in The exercise, that i. is mos, hur,ful,)
forms serious and alarming tax in the shape
Of doctors bills, and apo,hec arys' items. In the
second place, winter is approac hing, and our
people are unsupplied with garments. Where
these necessarisssof life are 10 be got, is 10 US
mystery Consump,ions and frozen limbs, we
foresee, will carry off dreadful proportion OF
our Inhabitants. We shrink from the pros pecr
In the third place, the gras, is already growing
IN our streets. In Broadway ii has attained
foot and half; bu, the general average of It's
growth is Two feet. II will be necessary for the
corporation to employ squadron Of mowers
(and here is a new ,aa for the purpose of