Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1828-12-24

try: his comprehensive and wen ihioi"eu
mind; his acute perception, and MS haoHs o.
deep and constant reflection, enable MIN 10 e'-
feet that good which, noiwiihstanoing MS chut-
Iishness, so many have experienced; ana NOSE
who have seen him, as We have, gong roano
the wards Of the hospital, and attending 10 inc
complaints and suffering OF the poor patieo,s
with the interest Of true 'benevoience' "ou,a
lament that he should so studiously withhold
such attention from the weallh'er ana more is
spectable classes Of society. Yet, no'withstand-
inp the occasional rudeuess Of Ills manner (for,
after ALL il is only occasionally there is no per-
SON in the profe ssion whose opinions we prize
so much. In case Of real danger add impor-
lance, he viii eyince all the attention and ankle
" that are necessary; but il must-be indeed
"lrial of temper 10 a person whose mind Is
so constantly and SO deeply occupied, 10 oe e.
ternaIly tormented by the never-endlng detaiis
and ,i,esome lgaddle OF selfish and bewilder-
ed hypochoddrIac.
We have said, tina, Mr.. Aberne'hy is only
occasionally res,ive and we speak from the!eon>
,icton Ct gu, own experience. We hesitate
not 10 declare that, 10 US, Mr. abernethy mas
always appeared full OF whim and drollery, re.
plete with agreeable information, willing to lend
an attentive ear TO necessary questions, ahd 10
inparl tina, professional knowledge OF which ne
possesses such an extensive store But one
thing he cannot abide, tha is, any interruption
in his discourse. This il is, in fact, which SO
often irri,a'es him, SO often causes him 10 snar'
"Peoplc come here" he has often said TO US,
ITO consult me, and they viii torture me with
their long and foolish fiddle dee stories; so
we quarrel, and then they BLACKBOARD me all
about this large town; but ] can, help that.
Let those who wish for Abernethy's advice,
and it is well worth having, observe this rule,
and they and he will part excellent iiends.-
Let them tell their case 10 as plain and as lew
words as possible, and then listen to their adj
viser's remarks without interruption; this is the
only secret Of managing this professional bug
bear, and il is secrc, worth knowing.
That Abernethy is odd, all the world knows;
but his oddly is far more amusing than rePul-
sive, far more playful than bearish. Ya,es's
picture of him last year was not bad; neither
was il good it wanted the raciness Of the ORR
ginaI. Let The reader imagine SNUG, elderly,
sleek, and venerable looking man, approaching
seventy years OF age, rather Gas novel writer's
say, below than above the middle height,some-
what inclined TO corpulency and upright in his
carriage wi,hal with his hair mos: primly
powdered and nicely curled round his brow
and temples: let them imagine such person
habi,ed in sober black, with his feet thrust
careessly into pai"'of unlaced halfboots, and
his hands into the pockets Of his "peculiars;"
and hey have the GLORIOUS John" Of the pro-
fession before their eyes The following colo>
guy, which occurred not many days since, be-
tween him and friend Of ours, i, SO character.
isiic Of the professor, tina, We cannot resist its
insertion.
Having entered the roou., our friend 'opened
"a ,eb hat
is the matter with my eye, Sir. 1t is very pain
going on" (Which / cant see" said Aberne-
thy, placing the paien, before the window, and
locking closely a, the eye. "But-" interposed
our friend. (Which can, See" again said, or
rather sung, the professor. "Perhaps not, Sir,
but" "Now don't bother,' calculated the
other; "bu' sit down, and III Tell you all about
H." Our friend sat down accordingly, while
Alternately, standing with his back against The
table, thu, began: take it for granted that,
in consulting me, You wish to know what
should do for myself, were in predicament
similar TO yourself. Now, have no reason to
suppose tha' you are in any particular predica.
ment; and the terrible mischief which you ap-
prehend. depends, take it, altogether upon the
stomach. Mind-at present, have no reason
TO believe that there is any thing else the mat
ter with you." Here my friend was about TO
disclose sundry dreadful maladies with which
he believed himself afflicted, but he Was inter-
ruped with "DiddIe-dum, diddle- dun, diddle-
dunn dec. uttered in the same smooth tone as
the previous part Of the address-and he was
silent) Snow, your stomach being out Of or
der, it is my duty to explain to you how 10 put
it 10 rights again; and, in my whimsical way,
shall give you an illustration Of my position;
for like to tell people something that they
will remember. The kitchen, that is, you.
stomach, being out Of order, the garrett (point-
ing TO the head) cannot be right, and egad! CIV,
cry room in he house becomes affected. Re-
pair the injury in the kitch.n,-remedy the evil
there,-(no,o don't bother, and all will be right
This you must do by diet If you pat improper
food into your stomach, by Cad you play the
very devil with it, and with the other machine
besides. Vegetable matter ferments, and be-
comes gaseous: while animal substances are
changed into putrid abomipable, and aeiid
stimulus: Don't bother assin!) You arc going
TO ask, 'Wha, has all this 10 do with my eyer
will tell you. Anatomy teaches US, that the