The Litchfield County post., 1828-10-16


Hiss Ftutterb~dget. o ie on such stuff
Mr.. Chalrman-I am wonderfully fond of
conundrumS, accrostlcs, anecdotes, poetry,
miscellany, epigrams, love adventures, mar
riages, &c. and the more REFUSES the bet
ter.
Mr.. Political Plain Truth. A fig for
your poetry and marriages, Mr.. Chairman.
Give us solid columns of Presidential mes
sages, Congressiona! debates, public docu-
mentS, and governors speeches, as long
wnded as a country court lawyer, and
minute and particular as bill of excep-
ions.
Doctor Pepper Pot. I'm out of patience
Mr.. Chairman, with the tiresome length of
he publick concerns. They are as troub-
ieSome AS the items of an old fashioned
'hysiclan's bill. Give US more of the re-
Il essence, the genuine Cayenne pepper
of political sharp shooting-wth now and
then an emetic Of the real lobelial of cleo
pioneering, that will set the whole body po-
litic to vomiting, and raise the political
steam engine to such pressure as will
throw the camp Of the enemy into utter
confusion, out of mere terror at letting off
he steam. B7
H.. NewSmonger. Well, Mr.. Chairman.
as for these things of pi;h and moment
this election sIang-I'm absolutely tired
of it. I've been a constant reader of your
paper these fourteen vears-to be sure, I
have not paid you-bu if you don't give
us more news in favor of The Greeks and
South American patriots, I'll positively
stop my paper, and withdraw my patrOn>
age.
o dear! exclaimed
Mrs. Ellen EtymaIogy What in the
name Literature do you mean, MrChair-
manly deyotine column of "Heraldry to
news and all nations lumb'ring at my
back !'-l want more lectures 'pon physl-
| ognomy-hornitholy, had-u-cation-and
more TRANSACTIONS of Horace's Odes, or
some other poet of antiquity. My boys, like
Boston folks, have notion to larnen, and
| wish you o h. - run 'em through college,
and have 'em come out bright as pewter
spoon. 49,.
Lady Etymology had hardly finished her
eloquent appeal, when
Mr.. Yorick Yard Stick broke om~in
tone of fearful diSqnietude, and upbraided
the chair for devotlng 50 much space TO the
arts and sciences, literature and rehgion.-
None of your beItesl'ttres from South Am
erica-give the real Cogniac of CONNER
cial intelligence-the high price, per yard,
ofimported goods. such as ts,,, coffee, rum
and molasses-narrativ ives of wonderful PEE
rils at sea-losses of whole cargoes of cali
CO, and the destruction of life and proper
| ,soh, ~ L.
[ to.
Mr.. Hoses Mech0nick, in as great fer
mentation as a Darrell of new cider, held
his breath and his peace for a moment, but
soon gave vent to his feelings. Mr.. Prin-
| ter, forgetting the chair) send US no more
of your papers with boxIoftea, barrel of
J land long catalogue ofdittOs, etceteras
| &c. pictured out like beer and gingerbread
upon "a turnpike-'Tis all fustian Give
us lesson on the mechanick arts-more
notices of new inventions, and now and
[ then dissertation on the utility of patent
pumps, pea-straw hats, and wooden nut
megs, or some other labor-saving machine.
The men of tape and buckram are measl-
ring off our estates by the yard, and run
ming away with the mechanics and coun-
try. a.
Mr. Oliver Or Bow the farmer, who sat
quietly listening to the arguments and the
complaints of the family of Grumbletoni-
ans, at length graveIy rose from his seat g.
deliberately dotted his round top, and said,
Mr.. Editor, | perceive you are placed in
difficult spot. Turn which way you will,
haw or gee,your vehicle of intelligence will
not 60 to suit all the teamsters. My opin-
ion is, you had best continue to manage
your own affairs in your own way-give
us the farmers department regularly, and
a good dish of discourse occasionally on
the various topicks that agiI tie our little
worId--as "much as lielh in you live peac-
ably with all men"-but print the truth al
though it give offence.
---Be just and fear not
Let all the ennis thou an,st be at thy country's
Thy Gods and Truths.
REBELLION IN THE STATE PRISON.
A moro nnreSSiva avbih;,;nr oc r,o.ol