Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1828-07-17
From Work entitled Posthumou, Papers
THE HUMOROUS MAN.

rlVdCity OF MS eye, the HoTI-eIaSuC ueau VI
his foot, the lshtness ot his brow, and the
dawning smile Of pleasantly in his counrenance.
The muscles of his mouth, unlike those Of
Monsieur NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. mouth has a
"downward drag austere'-curl upward like
a SpaDiard's mus,achios. He is man who
cares for nothing so much as "mirth- moving
jes,;'' give him that, and he has flood and raj.
ment." He loiH not see what men have to core
for, beyond to-day; and is for to-morrow's pro-
viding foI itself. He is also for new reading
of Johnson's old play Of every Man in his
Humour;" he would have it "Evcry Mar in
Humour." He leaves money and misery TO
misers; ambition and blood 10 warriors and
highwaymep; fame, 10 court-laurea,es aud lord
mayors; bonors, to court-paHders and city
knights, the dread OF death, to such as are not
worthy Of lite; the dread Of heaven, to those
who are not good enough even for earth; the
grave, to parish clerks and undertakcrs; tom6s,
10 proud worms; and palaces 10 paupers.
1t is enough for him il he may laugh the
"hours away" and break Jest, where eempers
more humorous break he'd. He would hot
barter with you one wakeful Jest for hundred
sleepy sermons; or one laugh for a thousand
signs. He says, that if he could allow himself
to sigh about any thing, it would be that he
had been serious when he might have laughed;
if he could weep for anv thing, it would be for
mankind, because they will not laugh more and
lament less. Yet he hath tears for the orphan
and the unhappy; but his tears die even where
they are born-in his "heart Of hearts," he
makes no show Of them; like April showers.
they refresh where they fall, and turn to smiles,
as all tears will that are not selfish. His grief
has humanity in il, which is not satisfied with
tears only, il teaches him the difference be-
tive, n poverty aud riches, between wealth and
want, and moves his heart 10 pity, and his hand
to charity. He loves no face more than
smiling one; aeedlessly serious one serves
him 70, the kindling OF his wit-as cold hinls
strikes out sparks of fire.
His humor shows Itself to all men, and on
all occasions. once found him bowing on
,he stairs to poor alarmed devil Of rat, who
was cringing up in corner; he was offering
him the retreat honorable, with polite "After
you, sir, if you would oblige me-" I settled
the point Of etiquette, by kicking the rat down
stairs, and received frown from my humane
friend, for my impatient inhumanity. Ii must
have been my humorous friend, and not the at
rabiiarious Bard Of Tw ckenh am, who, coming
to eorn6eld, pulled Of his hat, and bowling
profoundly. requested of his wheaton audience,
that, as he was poor poet, they would lend
him their ears.
His opinions OF men and things have some
spice of singularity in them. He conceives il
10 be kind of Puppyism in pigs that they wear
tails. He d, lines great coat to be a modern
Spenser, in folio, with iaif-pieces. lie can tell
YOU why Horace ran away from the battle Of
Philippi: II was 10 convince the Romans that
he was not lame poet. He describes critics
to be sort Of doorkeepers TO The temple OF
fame; and says il is their business 10 see that
no person slip in with holes IN their stockings,
or past. -buckles for diamond ones-not lha,
they always perform this duty honestly.
He asserts that the highest delight on this
side the grave, is to possess pair Of bag
pipes, and know that no one within forty miles
can play them. Acting up to this whim, he
bought pair OF Scotch bag piper, poor
Highlander, giving him five guineas for them;
which, as he boosted, sent him home like a
gentleman to Scotland, where he bad, no doubt,
purchased landed estate, and was in proba-
BILE way of coming INFO parliament for Scotch
borough. And here he somewhat varied The
old proverb, by saying, that at was an i'll bag
pipe that blowed nobody good" Indeed. If he
quotes proverb al all, it is, with diff renee
He is polite man, though wt-which is
not what wits usually are; they would rather
lose life than joke. l have heard him ex.
with venomed weapons, and wish them the fate
of Laertes, who, in his encounter with Hamlet,
had his weapon changed, and was himself
wounded with the poisoned foil designed for
his antagonist. Imean by saying he is a po.
lite man, that he is naturally, not ar,i6cially,
polite; for the one is bur handsome, frank
looking mask, under which you conceal the
contempt felt for the person you seem mos,
diIgent to please; it is a gill-rdgtd envelope
to blank valentine; shell withou, nut; a
courtezan in a fair quaker's chaste satinity and
smooth sickness; the arch devil in domino.
The other is, as he describes it, taking the hat
and cloak Of your heart of, and standing IN.
covered and unconcealed in the presence Of
wor,i., beauty, or any other amiable quality.
Thus he unites humour with seriousness,
and SERIOUSNESS with hLmour.
In short, he is a humane man; and humanity
is the only true poli,eness. have seen him
ridicule that polieness which contents itself
with bowling and bending the back very hu-
In walking through his garden, |
a tree or tall flower, touched by the passing