Constitutional Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1824-1832, 1827-06-08

lighter made addition Of honesty, and found
they were precisely balanced.
i pun Virginia IN scale and New York in the
other and found to tnortica,ion that nm, GOOD old
native dominion weighed nothing in comparison with
tins great colossus. But no, more charmed NJ
me enect' Than was perpiexed TO discover the cause
hrs threw IN with Virginia, Mr.. Gises' Resolutions
of 1927, and the scale evidently lighteucd I then
weighed her with Maryland; and even here found She
was wanting. My pride as Virginian, on this dis
covery, became considerably excited, and / success.
syely weighed her with every State in the Union and
found few but what pulled her down. In state of
violent excitement accidentally picked up internal
improvements. and threw in her scale, when to my
great surprise she Immediately became the heaviest
State IN the Federatiyc Government.
weighed John Q. Adams, placing in the opposite
SCALE love of country integrity and political honesty
and found Mr. Adams rather heavy I then threw in
administration errors and found they varied the scale
but very little. then plat ed Mr. Adams and the
virnous and intelligent w. II. Craw ford in opposite
scales and found Mr.. Crawford rather the heaviest;
but the difference only as the eight of two Rich
mond En9urers, which found afterwards AIR Adams
had placed in his pocket for particular purpose
without being appraised that they tended to take from
ms political weight In the course of the experimen,
first made as regarded Mr. Adams's weight, obser-
we'd very singular circumstance. The scales PLAYED
up and down az RI some moving them with
his hands. AT first wondered at il; but on exam
ming The scales found Mr. Madison hopping first
one, and then IN the other, merely for his diversion
begged him 10 desst, Inns merit was SO universally
known il needed weighing.
Alter this put in one Of my scales, Randolph
Benton, Van Buren,, and Tazew ell-into the other
Henry Clay; and found him much the heaviest
requested MIR. Randolph 10 inscrbe in his pocket
book, the words. political consistency less vim,
d'ctreness 10 Henry Clay, and much greater por-
ton Of friendly feeling towards al! mankind. gave
TO Mr. Benton paper with this inscription: Inv pocricy
hypocrcy; really love Mr. Randolph whose echo YOU
are truly orgi"e Cen Jac.,,on, who like assassin
aimed at your life. To MR. Van Buren, rave a
m. opSf To Mr.
quested him 10 hold in his hand the National Intell.
sencer containing MIR. Adams's letter upon the West
India tradc--and found the scales just balanced.
] weighed MIR. Macon, and found his bodily weight
about ego iDs.
weighed Mr.. Branch rather attempted to do IL;
but faied IN consequence Of my being unable 10 pro-
cure any weight sufficiently light.
! then undertook TO learn the gravity of Calhoun
md his shadow NicDufie. In the other scale paced
Trinbc, Vance and MetcaIf. But found il impossible
10 ascertain ieir weights preciseiy-the scales were
PeFPe;ua!!J unjua'ng. Being at loss to determine
the cause, removed AIR. Trimble, but found this pro-
daced no alteration. then removed Mir. Vance; but
The Kent lucky General still heavy for the ice
President and his pro'ege. then took out Gen.
Aiecsl' and threw IN little intrigue; and found il
produced an equilibrium. then handed out Mr.
eicDuilic, and found Mr. Calhoun weighed lust no.
thing at all.
Fer my qualification was anxious TO know
what Messrs. lngham, krener and Floyd weighed
l knew II would prove troublesome experiment
arising from the almost utter mpossbiy of procuring
any thing sufficenil. light to effect balance. But
IN looking about espied bundle of Rusles: one
found much too heavy: then halved it; still Too
wo'ghts: 'hen CHARTERED it, and applying fire it,
| raised rush light, which just the thing.
ifaVirg gone through the foregoing experiments, |
was about again laying up my scales, when it occur
red TO me ii might be well 10 learn The weight par
ticuar newspaper editors. To that end placed the
editors OF the Richmond Enquirer, the Washington
Telegraph the New York Enquirer, and the Palla.
dunn, in one scaleresolviDg TO place the other the
editors off National lntelligenccr-and ii they were
not OF sufficient weight TO balance the SCALE 10 tack
Presidential consistency, and few letters of distn.
Gnsied Members of Congress to MIR. Richie by way
of essenins the weight OF his scale, and by that means
produce an equality in the two scales-bui the expe-
rn'ent had well nigh proved fatal to them all-for
prior TO placing Messrs Gales G Seaon the opposite
scale, took out my box to regale myself with pncI
of rapPee snuif-when unuckily sneezed into the
empty scale, which gave these newspaper worthless
such an unexpected toss, that they all came tumbine
from the ceiling down the foor and such cry was
there of state rights, tariff internal improvements
coalition, black legs, puritan, SC. that chaos was a
| fool TO it. STSSEy
June 4, 1927.