Constitutional Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1824-1832, 1827-05-22

be tong coachnan If proposed party 10 tho MAJ
was asked if meant the little theatre in the Hay,
market.
was once introduced to an eminent counsellor aud
orator, whom had long wished 10 know but my ia.
troductor told Mr., Gabble that he had brougi, him
tHGf; and afterwards found that cspl.man,s ,a,ne
anu lee Oh hve guineas endorsed in chalk upon INV
coat r' '
! 1t ordered great coat the very tailor who was to
receive my money for IT, could scarcely refrain from
laughing in my face.
10 addition to all this had heart deeply suscep
"oie To- the charms of the fair aud by that faulty
"hich IL said TO attach itself persons situa
lion, was particularly smten with tall women.
remember at an evening party saying thousand ine
'h"gs TO very pretty and very tall, but at the same
tune very stout young woman, who guessed las the
yankees say was match for me in After being
witty for half an hour without getting more than
. yes" or ''no" III answer, bcge ed permission 10
ADJUST stray ringet which falling from her fore
head, when TO my indescrbable horror, she replied
; reach tn
at home and abroad, at all times and places the
same usnaPs attend me-if go 10 church. the lesson
appointed Tor the mornings service is be the
is'ory Oh Haccheus, The little who obliged TO
etup into tree TO that which every body else
could very easily down below; and can scarcely
persuade SELF that the does not wink malicious
~ at me as he reads, and that the clerk does not put
ms tongue into his left cheek in token of dersion If
go TO the theatre, woman in IN enormous hat and
'e''ne,s' whose nose is as nearly possible AT
equal distance between the sole her shoe and The top
OF her head geer, sits before me, so that cannot cet
single glimpse of the performance Ii visit any
OF The courts oflaw, am not there two minutes before
tai attorney plants himself By my side, and can see
thal even The Judges themselves Immediately i'm an
agony OF laughter at the ridiculous comparson Nav
SIR, even If attempt office of humanity am rewar-
ded WIN derislon instead of gratitude for many
days since picked up drunken out of a gutter
and had no sooner got him upon his legs than he ex-
claimed, 'weii you are 4 little 'un. Damn men
1ou must also know, that, among my other nisior-
tunes am excessively fond of private theatrca and
IN han e-ui,a
1t was my private opinion, for many years that was
Inc greatest genius that lived. About 4 fortnight
ago, received message from friend, beGriug that
| would undertake the part of Julius Cesar in the
play OF that name, which he was getting up for the
amusement OF select party. Joy fully acceded, but
nad no sooner made my appearance, than suspected
II TO be mere trick TO raise general laugh at the
siSht OF my 1gmy Inquire srutin9 about the repre-
sentative of the master OF The world Mirh was pret.
y generally attendant upon my most dignifed efforts;
! but when Cassius, tall Irish varlet said of me-
! Why, man, lie doth bes,rrie the narrow globe,
/ Like Colossus, and we petty men
Walk unde his huge legs
The roar of laughter from all parts Of the house was
ndescrioaole was behind the scenes at the time
and was unable 10 submit 10 such torture any longer
rushed out OF the house into the street alfred "a
was in the costume of the part and made INV way home
wards But my misfortunes did not end here: nv
strange costume attracted crowd about me; was Ia.
Ken 10 the watch house and charged with creating
CROWD q riot, and IN order to escape evil was
Obliged to give the worthy magistrate detail of the
whole affair, which appeared the next day in all the
newspapers, with additions and embellishments from
The ingenious pens of the gentlemen of the press
Now, MIR. Editor, you man of wisdom and of
authority in this world; and think that half sentence
uttered by you in my BEHALF would relieve me and ali
other short gentlemen from the odious persecution
which we undergo. Why should sho,tness Otis bar
barous word but it for want of betteri be re-
proach to man. Is life short and ioy short and
spring short and every thing that is agreeable short
Is not brevity the soul Of wit. Are not short articles
especially such this) the best and most acceptable
things IN paper or magazine? Is not knowledge
OF short hand very valuable ACCOMPLISHMENTS
ouid you not rather take short bill than long oneo
GU must be the most shorts man in existence
II you do not see the truth OF ali this. Then take com
passion on my forlOrn condition-Tel the ladies that
Cupid little Tell warriors that Bonaparte was short
Tell poets the shortest and best poem in the world IS
TIA following in praise of littleHess
"a little health, li;tie wealth
''A little house and freedom:
sand al the end little friend:
, land little cause need him -
The sort of friend which the poets has described
VIII be to you, Mr.. Editor, if you will print this com.
muncation IN conspicuous part of your paper and
use your best exerons, in tie way which have sur
geS'cd, on behalf of the shortest and most unfortunate
II Ilortais.
.fft Of Hriny hGppHy.-The following uaxirns or
rules OF action might it strictly observed 90 far to
increase the happiness, least TO diminish the in
quieudes and miserics Of life.
Observe inviolable truth 10 your words and inter