The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware advertiser., 1827-03-15
MARCH Is, 1927


in the city of Memphis /.
When | reflect on the avarice and in
gratitude of my countrymen, and the base
ness and perfdity of other nations my heart
so swells with hatred to the world, that, in
order to punish human nature, feel almost
resolved to be inferred without single me-
mortal of who or what was, but the recol-
lection of posterity sottens my anger-pos-
terity, for whom have labored has done
me no wrong; and in order that it may still
benefit by my advice, have composed this
paper to warn it how it trusts to kings, re-
publcs, philosophers or barbarians.
was a tailor in the reign of King Psar
manthis, and never did tailor work on more
| scientific principles; it was ! who first APP
piled geometry to cutting out, and it was
from me that the husbandmen first learnt to
lay out their fields and ascertain their boun-
daries after the nundaton of the Nile, and
they endeayored to cut up the face of the
earth, by the rules had established for cut
! ting out garment; but, unlike me, each of
the knaves attempted to cabbage as much of
| his neighbours ground as possible; for used
all my mathematical precision as much to
my customers advantage as to my own.
The fashions projected were elegant and
innumerable, quite reformed the taste ct
the age, men looked like crocodiles before
took them in hand, but made them look
/ like demi gods; may say without vanity,
that possessed a greater genius than vas
ever given to man, or than nan will ever
again be gifted with. for ! united the cor
rcctncss Of the playful and excursive fancy
of the poet; was the perpetual source OF all
elegance, dignity, beauty--and after all,
am neglected and buried in common mum
my pitt
| The advantages my country derived from
my talents were not restricted to the refne'
ment of the human shape or the just setting
out OF boundaries. Our armies had been de-
featcd in several campaigns by the Ethiopi-
ans; new general was appointed who was
customer of mine, he engaged the enemy
dressed in garment OF my construction:
need not say he utterly routed them. had
compounded his coat so terrihcally that no
troops could stand against it--Yet was
| ineglected--he was enri he'd, but was not
4 rewarded-and he even had the horrible IN
gratitude to dispute my bill
A feet was fitted out to explore tie way
to India--lt tailcd--Anothcr was despatch
cd and returned without success. A third
was ordered to make the attempt, and con
tracted for clothing the sailors in an admi-
ral's galley. 1t would be unnecessary for
me to say that this expedition was fortunate.
Were rowers likely to fail, drest in garments
of my own fashionings
! A travelling Greek took lodging in my
house. He called himself philosopher,
voyagng in search of knowledge. am
certain it was by seeing me cut out gore
that he learned the square of the hypothe-
muse Of a right angled triangle is equal othe
squares of the base and pendlcuar added
together, for it cannot be doubted for mo-
lment that knew il. Yet the vagabond had
the audacity to assert that he had made the
discovery by the inspiration OF the muses.,
and offered whole hecatomb in canse-
aucncc, while he seliishly concea'ed my
name altogether. Thus the invention, to
which had so we'll founded right, will be
handed down to after ages as the discovery
of Greek vagrant, while |, who ought IN
consequence to have been buried IN the
great pyramid, am shutiled into a paltry
sycamore coffin in common mummy PIT
was walking with this Greek one day,
when saw an Ibis with peculiarly long
bill mrhat IBIS" said ], "looks like my
grandmother, who had very long nose. =
The scoundrelly philosopher took the hlnt
"Your grandmother's SOUL" said he, "has
transmierated into that Ibis; recollect hay,
inc been goose myself was Euphorbus in
the Trojan war" And upon this ebserva-
ton of mine, he built his theory of transmit
grafton. Yet he chose rather to say that ht
learnt it from the Chaldeans or Brachmans
than from me-such is the gratitude of phi
losophers
was not fitted to thrive amidst greedy
selfish, narrsw minded, avaricious race
except myself. there was no honorable mar
in Epypt. The base knaves took advantage
of nv excellent disposition. nv noble gene.
rosity, my astonishing libcrality, my exalted
virtue, and defrauded me. | resolved tt
quit such nest of crocotiles, and made {
dignifed retreat during the night. that
nv purpose might not be frustrated, dis
guised myself as an humble slave, and ac-
companied the ungrateful philosopher as :
servant. My base minded countrymen, ind
ing was out of their reach, vented theil
sorrow in the most horrible .calumnies, ane
said fed for debt. did indeed owe some
individuals money, which did not think i
convenient to pay, but if that was set on a.
rainst the endless debt my country owed t
me. the balance would be found immensely
in my favour.
went with this philosophical quack t.
his native city of Samos: there | clyillzet
the barbarous sIanders---they knew nothing
of fashionable dress till | taught them
From thence accompanied him to Croto
ma; there humanized the people Of Italy
from savages made them one OF the poilt
Al