Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1827-09-20

orepared 10 seek abroad that distraction !or
NV grief. which could not be found In the quiet
,f nv home. In leaving the room, my eye &C
cidentaliy glanced toward my pistols. nay hana
was ON the lock Of The door. perceived tnat
70 ach the place where they lay, was hke
tempting Hell to tempt me: but though'
dashed across my mind, that 10 die were 10
punish the unworthy authors OF my sorrow.
,v.re 70 strike imperishablc remorse TO the
hearts of Maria and of John;-apd took The
nis,ols with me, mu,lering, as concealed
them in nv breast, "Perhaps may want them.
In this frame of mind, wandering through
back and retired streets, with no other motive
10 direct me than the necessity oflocomotion, l,
at length, found myself on the banks OF the
Thames, at no great distance from Westmin-
ste: Bridge. My boat was kept near this pace:
On the water, / should be delivered from all ap'
prehension Of observing eyes. should be a.
lone with my sorrow; and. uniaVouraole as Inc
season and the weather were, proceeued 20
the spot where my boat was moored bad
time for boating, Mr., Luttren," said Piner,"ho
had the charge Of my wherry; "n's mortal co'a'
and there's rain getting out there TO The WIND
ward" But careless Of his good-natured re-
mons,rances, seized the oars impatIently from
his hand, and proceeded, in angry silence, 10
the boat. pushed her off, and ro"ed rapidly
I'M the river towards Chelsea: with Neptune
lvinp at nv feet. When thus found myself
alone upon the water, with none 10 know, or
mark, or overhear me, my grief, breaking thro'
all the restraints that had confined Ii as long
as was exposed 10 the inspection OF my 'eh""
| creatures, disc harged itself in vehement exria-
m atoms Of indignant passion. "foo!!-ia'o'
that / wss TO trust Them! Nolhlng OH ea'''
shall ever induce me now to look upon theih d
gain Oh, Maria! | should have thoush' II
hapDiness enough 10 have died Tor you; ana you
TO desert me--to fall away from me too, at the
moment when a single smile n' yours mis"'
| have Unidentified me for all the wrongs OF lor-
une, all the treachery of friendship! AS TO
Fraser. men are all alike,-seifsh by nature, ha
| biz, educ alton. They are trained TO baseness,
and ne is the wisest man who becomes earnest
| &C ouainted with suspicion. He is the happies',
| who. scornine their hollow demonstrations OF
attachment, constrains every sympathy oi MS
nature within the close imprisonment OF co'a
and unpar,cipa,inr selhshness; but I'LL be re,
! yenred Fallen as am-sunk-lmpoVerish
-despised as Lionel Lu,trell may be, The per
Gaious shall yet be taught to know, that he VIII
no, be spurR,d with IMMUNITY, or tramPieo on
without reprisa!'
| AT these words, some violence Of gesture, &C
companying he vehemence II my sentiment,
mt.rlerrd with the repose Of Neptune, who was
uuie,ly sleeping at the bottom OF the boat. l ne
dog vented his impotence in quick aud an
] cry growl. AT that moment my irri'atio" a
.a@.:nsea aiInssi to madness. h,Ghs--fsxssss'
! my TODD had purchased, now mat the sources
which supplied it have become exhausted
imputed TO my dog the frail les of man, and
FASTENED, in the wild suggestion Of the instan,
to take severe and summary vengeance on his
ingra'iude. | Drew forth pistol from nv
breast, and ordered him 10 take to Inc water I
| determined TO shoot him as he was swinrninC,
and then leave him there to die Neptune hcs.la
| ted IN obrying me. He was scarcely srousrd,
perhaps he did not comprehend my command
My impotence would brook no delay was
IN no humour to De thwartcd. Standing up in
the boat, ] proceeded, with sudden effort Of
strength, 10 cast the dog into the river. My
purpose failed; my balance was lost; and, in a
mo",ent OF rime-I found myself engaged in a
desperate struggle for existence with the dark
waters OF the Thames ICannol swim. Death;
death IN Ill its terrors instantan eous inevitable
death, was the idea that pressed upon my mind,
and occupied all its faculties. But poor Nrp-
tune required no solicitation. lie no sooner
Witnessed the danger Of his master, than ne
sprang forward TO my rescue, and, sustaining
nv head above the water, swan stoully away
with me to the boat.
When once resrated there, asI looked upon
my preserver shaking The water from his coat
as compnscdly as # nothing Extraordinary had
happened. my conscience became penetrated
with the bliteres' feelings of remorse ard shame
Selrindulerd, selfcorrec,ed, self condemned.
sat Ike guilty wretch in the presence Of that
noble animal. who having saved my life. a, the
very moment | was meditaiing his dies ruction,
SEEMED OF 100 generous a nature to Imagine, |
that the act he had Performed exceeded the or
binary limit o his ser, ,ce, ar deserved any spe-
cial graft ude from his master. felt as one 81 no
bad IN intention committed murder IN his bene-
factor, and. as slowly Iowed towards the land,
eioque"' IN the praise Of the Unconscious Nep- |
tune, the recollection Of NY perilous escape
the complete conviction ofmy having in one !
instance been mistaken in my auger--and per.
haps-most unromantic as il may sound-the |
physical operation of my cold bath, and my wet |
these Causes united, operated ,
so eh'ctnally TO ailay The fever of my irri,a,ed
passions, that the agitation Of my mind wa,
h.. r