The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware advertiser., 1827-07-19

ever am going out in hurry. found all
this was but as dust in the balance. might
as well have expected to be admitted a cons
tributor to the Literary Magnet, because
could write Joining hand The first time
| sat down to dinner / made horrible
blnnder; for, IN my haste to help my friend
to some asparagus, l pulled the dish lit
tie out OF its place, thereby deranging the
exact hexigonal srder in which the said
dishes were arranged-I discovered my
mishap ON hearing Mr.. S. sharply rebuked
Tor similar offence; secondly, sat half the
evening with the cushion a full fingers
breadth beyond the cane work of my chair
and what is worse, do not know that I
should have been aware of my delinquency
if the agony of the lady's feelings had not,
at length, overpowered every other consid-
eration--and at last burst forth with, "Ex-
cuse me, Mr.. -, but do pray put your
cushion straight; it annoys me beyond meas-
ure TO see it otherwise" My third offence
was displacing the snufier- stand from its
central position between the candlestickss
my fourth leaving pamphlet I had been
perusing on the piano forte, its proper place
being table in the middle of the room, in
which all books in present use were order
ed to repose; my fth,-but in short, should
never have done, we're to enumerate eve
ry separate enormity of which was guilty.
My friend SIS drawing room had as good
right to exhibit a placard of "Steel Traps
and Spring Gung," as any park ! am &C.
quanted with. In one place you were in
danger Of having your leg snapped off, and
in another your nose. There never was
house SO atrocously neat; every chair and
table knew its duty; the very chimney orns-
ments had been strained up in the way
thew ehnulA un ~ Nd +o
wight who should make them "depart from
IT," Even those chartered libcrtines;"
the children and dogs, were taught to be as
demure and hypocritical as the matronly
ta5ay cat herself; who sat with her fore
feet together and her tail curled round her
As exactly as if she had been worked III an
iurnrug, instead of being living mouser. It
was the utmost stretch of my friends mar
ta authority to get his favoritc spaniel ad-
mitted to the honors of the parlour; and
even this privilege is only granted in his
masters presence. If Carlo happens to pop
lhs unlucky brown nose into the room when
$. is from home, he sets off directly with as
much consciousness in his ears and tail as ii
he had been convicted of larceny in the
kitchen, and anticipated the application Of
the broom stick. AS to the children. Heav-
en- help them ! believe that they look
~ HdiA " thCil NfStibS WISH 10 Tile Draw
ing-room with much the same sort of feel.
ing. Not that Mrs. S. is an unkind mother.
or, | should rather say, not that she mcans
to be SO; but she has taken it into her head,
that "preachee and f1oggee to' is the way
to bring up children; and that as young peo-
pie have sometimes short memories, it is
necessary to put them verbally in mind Of
their duties,
From night till morn, from morn till dewy eve.
| So it is with her servants; il, one of then,
leaves broom or duster out of its place
a second, she hears it for month after
wards. | wonder how they endure i'll
have sometimes thought that from long
practice, they do not heed it--as friend Of
mine who lives in busting street in the city,
tells me he does not hear the Internal noise
of the coaches and carts in the front of his
house, nor of confounded hrazier, who
hammers away in bis rear from morning till
night. The worst of it is, that while Mrs
5. never allows moments peace to her
husband, children, or servants, she thinks
herself jswel of a wife; but such Jewels
are too costly for every day wear. l am
sure poor :. thinks so in his heart, and
woald be content to exchange half dozen
Of his wite's tormenting good qualities, for
the sake Of being allowed a little common
place repose.
/ never shall forget the delight felt on
entering my own house, alter enduring the
thraldom Tor two month. absolutely rev
elled in disorder, and gloried in my litters.--
tossed my hat one way, my gloves another:
pushed all the chairs into the middle of the
room, and narrowly escaped kicking my
faithful Christopher, for offering ts put il
"in order'' again. That cursed Esprit of
order!" AIN sure it is spirit of evil omen
to 5. For my own part, do not execrate
the phrase, that if were member of the
House of Commons, and the order of the
lay were called tor, should make it a rule
TO walk out. Since my return home have
positively prohibited the use of the word in
my house; and nearly quarrelled with an
honest pou!terer, who has served me for the
last ten years, because he has rascally
shopman, who will persist in snufIing at
my door Il hear him now from my parlour
window.) ANY order this morning." Con-
found the fellow that is his knock. ] will
SO cut, and offer him half a crown to change
his phrase!