Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1827-05-30

carries him straight to the wrong point. If there
be such a thing as a sore subject, he is sure to
press on it, to question a 2arvenu on his
pedigree, a condemned author on his tragedy,
and an old maid on her age. Besides these
iniquities, his want of sympathy, is so O.
open and undisguised, that the rLost loquacious
eeotist loses the pleasure Of talking of himself,
in the evident absence Of all feeling or interest
ON the part of his hearer. His conversation IS
always more like a judicial examination than
any species Of social intercourse, and often like
The worst sort Of examination-cross question
ing. He demands, like a secretary 10 the In
QUESTION, and you answer for you must answer
like a prisoner OH the rack. Then tho man IS
so miscievous! He attles old china marches over
Aower beds, and paws urling's lace. The people
at museums and exhibitions dread the sight OF
him. He cannot keep his hahds from moths
and humming birds: and once poked up q rat
tie snake TO discover whether the joints of the
tail did not actually produce the sound from
which it derives its name; by which attack that
pucnacious reptile was excited to such wrath
tina, two ladies' fell into Mysteries. lie nearly
demolished the Invisible Girl by too rough an
inquiry into her existence, and got turned out
of the chess players territories, IN
consequence Of an assault which he committed
on that ingenious piece Of mechanism. 10 do
Mr.. Link Justice, I must admit that he some
times does a little good for all his harm He
has, by design or accident, in the ordinary ex-
srcise Of his VOCATION, hindered two or three
duels, prevented a good deal OF poaching and
offering, and even saved his own house, and the
houses of his neighbors, from divers burgla-
rics; his vigilance, being, az least, as useful In
that way as a watchmau or an alarm bell.
The obscure has a remarkable charm Tor
him, To enjoy it in perfection, he will often
repair to some great manufacturing town where
he is wholly unknown, and deposit himself in
some suburban lodging IN a new built row,
with poplar, before the door, when, inviting his
landlady 10 make tea for him., he gains, by aid
of that genial beverage, an insight into all the
loves and hatreds, Kitchen cabals and nursery
mishaps," in a word, all the scandal OF the
town. Then he ishappy.
travelling is much to his ~taste;as' are also stage
coaches, steam packets, and diiigences, and
generally all places where people meet and talk,
especially an inn, which is capital questioning
ground, and safer than most others.
There is ~licence, a liberty, a freedom in
every name, and besides, people do not stay
long enough to be affronted. He spends much
of his time in these PRIVILEGED abodes and IS
well Known as the lnquisitive Gentleman, on
most of the great roads, although his seat OF
Liux-FIil is, undoubtedly, his principal reis-
dence. Itis most commodiously, situated, on a
fine eminence overlooking three counties; and
he spends much of his time in a sort of observ.
atory, which he has built on a rising ground
at the edge Of the park, where he has mounted
telescope, BY means Of which he not only
commands all the lanes and by.paths In the
neighbourhood, butts enabled to keep a look
out, on the ge4t narrow road, two miles off, to
oversee the stages and coaches, and keepa an eye
on the mail. The manor lies in two parishes
another stroke of good fortune since the Cos
siping of both villages seems to belong TO him
Of territorial right. Vestries, warehouses,
schools, all are legitimate ground of inquiry
Besides, his long and intimate acquaintance
with the neighbourheod is an inestimable adj
vantage to a man of his turn of mind, and sup
plies by detail and minuteness, Whit might be
wanting in variety and novelty He knows ev-
cry man, woman, s. child, Horse, COW, pig, and
dog, within half a dozen miles, and has "a roy
al faculty ofnot forgetting, so that he always
has plenty of matter for questions, and most OF
the people being his tenants, answers come
quickly