Literary cadet and Rhode-Island statesman. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1827-1829, 1827-11-24
A TEA PARTY

Many, yea, gerry many, are the sorrows
and grievances to be borne, which
encompass the man.. who is cursed by
that worst of all Affections ycleped
mauraise homie. !, Mr. Editor, am one
of those unfortunate and miserable
wretches, doomed, sperlastingly doomed
TO be thwarted in my W incIinations,
not daring TO follow the bent Of the same,
for fear l should not govern myself,
when in company, according to the strict
rules of etiquette in the modern accepta-
ton of the term. Therefore, 1 am, in
deed and in truth Of all men, tho man
most to be pitied, for l am not insensiblo
to the charms and the destinations Of the
fairsr part of creation, which throw such
II spell and enchantment upon those
who minglc in their society; on-the
cont airy, l am a humble and silent wor-
shipper at the shrine Of beauiy,-yet,
owing to my excessive bashfulness, l am
obliged to forego the greatest pleasure
of which man is susceptible, viz: that of
enjoying the friendship and society Of
the ladies'. l have frequently formed
resolutions, and as frequently broken the
same, that l would throw off this exc
IRENE tImidlty and make myself COM
pleteIy at home so far as | was endowed
with the favor SO to do at all times and
at all pIaces-and in some instances
have gathered courage enough to ac-
cept Of ar invitation to take tea or spend
the evening with the ladies'; and at each
and every time | have made some con-
founded, egrcgrious blunder, which has
excited a general burst Of laughter at my
expense. And now MIR. Editor l am in
complete despair, for il seems that the
very d., or some wicked genius, takes
possession Of me whenever | undertake
to visit the fair sex. The following is
one among numerous other accidents,
Which has been the consequence result
ting firm my intercourse with them. ! had
with a number Of young gentleman Of
my acquaintance received an invitation
to take tea with a party Of young ladies',
who had congregated together for that
especial purpose. Well, sir, I accepted
said invitation with a beating heart, be
a~ssured-and at the time specified star
ted in company with a particular friend
for the house,-arrived safe, knocked at
the door with a trembling hand, and it was
opened, and we were hidden, by the soft
sweet, soul subduing voice Of as beau
eou a young Miss as any man might
wish to call a wife, to come in. Well
We entered, and ! bowed to the compa-
ny as gracefully as was in my power, at
the same time to myself operating, and
swearing by the tail of my grandfather's
wedding coat, that l this time would steer
clear of blunders and comport myself
ike a man. took a chair as soon as
possible and began a conversation with
the damsels, which lasted but q short
time, in consequence of the arrival Of
other young gentleman, which was o
succeeded by the arrival Of the tea table
with all its p~araphernali OF sweets, deli
cacies and mouth watering condiments.
We seated ourselves to discuss the same
the girls had just began to SIP their tea
and tho gentlemen to hem for want of
words, when the young lady who was
seated at my right hand, and to whom l
had but a few moments before been in.
PRODUCED, she being u stranger and resi-
ding in another town when at home, Il
love to be particularly asked me t o be
kind enough TO pass TO her the toast.
Wishing to be very polite, I eagerly
reached across the table for the same,
and drawing back my arm, (and at the
same time having my eyes i%ntently fixed
upon the lady who sat opposite to me-
nv albnxu n n ~ in nnnto ~ NTH IL lcl,1.
,ea Gun and overturned the same with
the contents thereof, into her lap. She
gave a simultaneous scream aud Jump,
nearly overturned the table, to the mani
fest disturbance, discontinue and des-
truction o. many a gilt edged, pcnciled
china cup and saucer, 10 say nothing of
whole floods Of syrups, and preserved
ounces, barberrics, peaches, &c. &c.
&c. Now, Mr. Editor, in a like situation
where should have wished yourselfl to
the -, any where else than there no
doubt. | did verify and ofa surety, from
the very bottom of my heart. But some
thing was to be done, aud | with great
endeavour stammered out an apology,
but the chapter of accidents did not CON
clude here. l was fated to figure again
the hero Of bfunders and misfortunes
One Of the young ladies, Tin assisting
the other who by my careIessness had
been scalded,) dropped her handker-
chief,-I stopped to hand it to her, and
she not observing me, stopped for it at
the same time-the consequence was,
that our heads were introduced to each
other most a~ffe ctionately and forcibly-