Literary cadet, and Saturday evening bulletin. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1826-1827, 1827-04-07

Our readers will find themselves entertained,
they read the annexed poetical essay, from u
pen of a young gentleman, Cadet, attached
the L. $. Military Academy, West Point
THE CADETS COMPLAINT.
Oh for the thousand mouths OF Madam ame'
And trumpets to each mouth, and Stentor's luns
Or. (and for this kind fair ones, do not blame me
dozen or the like Of female tongues,
Or that of one fair shrew, if tame, or
Even the harp on which OLD Horace sung h's
Vice killing verse In truth need the quilIs
OF all the Muses. 10 describe our num'rous Ills.
And now il strikes me, there's another name
.By which some designate the Goodies ame.
And this which is Report, while relate,
"Renewsthe sad remembrance OF our tate.
For, gentle reader must have thee Know
Reports are punishmeuts we undergo.
Queer punishment you say, ana so ueem--
But things are not precisely what they SEEM
'Tis known that all men, in their proper sehses'
And boys especially, commit offences,
And .undry little crimes--at any ra'e'
Such tricks as 'gainst all orle" initiate.
Well then-,he brchep rod, and Fwo-ioot rule,
Are punishments oInnipotent at schooi.
At College they suspend, admonish, or
With gold appease the anger ol the law
Rut here they keep record OF offences,
lust as your merchant does OF his expenses
The which black catalogue Is pubic maue'
Each Friday evening al Parade.
Now this last line, it seems, is dogserel-
The properest verse, III which OF woes 10 tell
Aud here one may, with reason ask,
To whom belongs the ungrateiul task
"A task that II make ones presence lerro''J
OF hunting down each vagrant error:
To whom to all OF us-i6r all,
From Colnel down to Corporal,
When drest in " brief authority
Intractions Of the rules must see.
But chiefly all these sort OF things
Rest with the Officers Of Uangs.
! know each whiting sapient Soph'
May at my grievous story seoi'
And pout his learned lp, and roll
His Greek-worn eye. But on 'uy SOUL,
Reports are punishments, and you,
Dear Sopb may know, and feel them too.
But while the innocent may surer,
few reports more than enough, or
Many an unborn sins recorded
While merit Oft pines unrewarded---
A1d while favo.d few eiuUe
Keen Justice; be it understood
think there hardly can be found place,
Where the stern Goddess wears better face.
'Ts we'll begsd for sundry tongues,
And mouths and trumpets too, and lungs
When began just now. The iair
Will doubtless ask what Reports are,
And bid me specify them. Well
From sad experience can tell.
Each Friday evening, as said,
These things are published on parade,
BY AJjutant be be-chev'ron'd, or
Some other servant of the law.
And when he reads them out to us,
The terror runneth something thus
- A." on the fifteenth, late at drill"
" B." on the sixth, mot standing still"
&C, joining mess squad, suns permission.
" D, dirty shoes, sans intsrmssion."
"Light after taps, on second, r :
Of, sleeping after Reveillee."
&c, dirty musket-H, long hair
.'w-and yet poor will spare.
"J,jumpipg bannisters-and"
"(Whaps Ks offence cannot say)
III, lettering where he had not ought TO-"
an, out of window, throwing water"
Then for poor "N," there comes, Oh Lord a
Dis'bedience ofa special ORDER"
20, p and G. n must confess ally
"Takng provisions from the me.s-hall."
And here I must explain, see,
What, seeming. is anomaly.
Whose has dwelt in Yankee land,
MY meaning best will understand,
For all such dwellers better ken,
Than can tell them with my pen.
What Yankees call the chief delights
or dreary, cold, long winter nights;
And how around each fre-sids are
Found always apples, nuts and cider
We !-emuluous ofsuch good cheer,
To sv'ry stomach doutly dear
Where Il the man, Of heart and head,
Who would no hook piece Of bread?
Or two, three pieces at the most,
Whereof to make plate Of toast?
The adjutant would now proceed
~ III, - okhey nArohtV DR. az