Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1827-12-04
lFkom The NATIONAL GAZETTE.
Extracts from Sin Walter scorr's New Work.
The "ChrOnicles of the Caaonyo,. :"

Then sing of stage coaches.
And fear no reproaches,
For riding in one;
But daily be jogging,
whist whstling aud hogging.
Whilst whiStling and aogging
The cOachman drives on Ecr.,L.
Disguised in grey surtout which had
service, white castor on my head, and ,s,o,,
Indian cane in my hand, the mex, wet
on the top OF a NAL coach driving 10 the vice.,
ward.
like mail coaches, ami hate them. II;,.
them for my convenience, but dstes; them e..
setting the whole world gaddinc, in,,raG y,
setting quietly still Winding their own bp.in...
and preserving the stamp Of originality Of RI,
racter which nature or education NAV L,r,
Impressed on them.
OFF they 60, juggling agains, each other in Il.
rafting vehicle, till they have no more yaris,,
of stamp in them Than 50 many smooth sbilIin,,
the same even in their Welsh wigs and pra,.
coats, each without more indi, idualitv ,b,n
belongs to partner of the company, a, ,Ia
waiter calls them, OF the North coach
Worthy Mr.. Piper best Of contractors ~,
ever furnished four frampal ades for Quill,
use, bless you when SET out on our,sr
myself; the neat coaches under your ccr,r,r,
render the intercourse from John!e Gro,,,
house to Ladykirk and Cornhill Bridge, $40
pleasant, and cheap. But, Mr.. Pip r, Won. vt1
are a shrewd arilhtneiican, did il ever ocr,,
| ID you to calculate how many fools head,
which might have produced an idea or two !,
the wear, if suffered to remain in quie,. get e.
fectually ,ddled by joring to and fro in these
! flying chariots Of yours; how many dec,r,
countrymen become conoeitcd pumpkins after
a ca,lle-show dinner in the capital, which they
could not have attended save for you- means
how MANY decent country parsons return crj
tics and spouters, by way of importing the
newest taste from Edinburgh? And how will
your conscience answer one day for CARRYING
many bonny lasses to barter modesty t,rc,r,
cei, and leviIy at the metropolitan Vsr;,y
Fair? Consider, too, the low rate 10 which
you reduce human intellect ! do not S.lip,s
your habitual Gus toners have their ideas NOR.
enlarged than one Of your coach horses. Tbsv
know the road. like the English position, and
they know ..othing besides. They date III,
the carriers al Gadshill from the cearh Of Lola
Ostler; the succession Of guard forms d.
nasty to Them; coac hmen are their minister,
Of state, and an upset is 10 them greater
incident than change in The administrator
Their only point of interes, on The road is to
save the time, and sec whether che coach
keeps the hour. This is surely miserable
degradation Of human intellect.
Take my advice, my good sir, and disin,er
estediy Contriye that once or twice a quarter,
your most dexterous viii shall ov.r,urn
coach-ful OF these superHuous travellers; in Ter.
rorcm TO those who, as Horace says, "deligh,
in the dust attracted by your charols."
Your current aud customary mail coach ma,
senger, too, gets ahominably selfish, scheme;
successfully Tor the best seat, the freshest egg,
the RICH, cut of the surloln. The mode Of ,Sa,
Yelling is death to all the courtesies and kind,
nesses OF life. and goes great way to demoral.
lze the character, and cause it to re,rogade to
bar5arlsm. You allow US excellent dinners,
but only twenty minutes TO eat them, and wha.
is .he consequence! Bashful beauty sits on on.
side Of US, timid childhood on the other; re,.
peeIable, yet somewhat feeble old age is placed
on our front; and all require those acts Of Do,
likeness which out to put every degree upon
level at the conviviaI board But have we line
we, the strong and active Of the party-,o
perform the duties Ct the table to the more re,
Tired and bashful to whom these little as,eu,
lions are due! The lady should be pressed to
her chicken, the old man helped to his tender
slice, the child 10 his tart. But no, fraction
OF minute have we 10 bestow Oh anv Other
person but ourselves; and the prut.pru.lu
oil the guards disesrdant note, summons US 10
The coach, The weaker party having gone with
out their dinner, and the able bodied and active
threatened with indigestion from having sw,l
lowed victuals like a Liestershire clown boiling
bacon. On the memorable occasion am speak
ing OF, lost my breakfast, sheerIy from obey
ing the commands Of a respectable looking old
lady, who once required me 20 ring the bell and
another time 10 help the tea kelile. ] hay.
some reason 10 think she was literally an old
stager, who laughed in her sleeve at my COM
plaisance; SO that ! have sworn in my secre,
soul re venge upon her sex, and all such errant
damsels OF Whatever age ard degree, whom
may encounter in my travels mean all this
without, the least i'll will to my friend the con-
tractor, who think has approached as neara'
any one is like to do towards accomplishing he
modest wish Of the Amatus and Amaa Of the
Peri Bathos,
Yegods, annhilate but time and space
And make two lovers happy.