American watchman and Delaware advertiser., 1826-09-19

wha' share had taken III the young man death )
aud this, haye often thought Is proof The great
ness of my guilt but was distracted at the time,
and | knew not what did. Luoack saw tha
was i'll, and insisted on my returning to my iodg
ings,-and got home, | knew not how. passed
sleepsss and dreadful night, and next morning
without seeing Luback any OF my friends, leit
Paris and returned, in state oi mind bordering on
frenzy, 10 my native country.
Such sas the event which has thrown cloud over
my exisence.--a cloud which has become darker
and more ID eatenng with every succeeding year.
Ny profession soon rellnqulshed with loathing and
disgust, and retired small property in the north
Of Scotland, which bad been lett me by maternal
uncle and there have | lived down to this hour, a
miserable man Often have tiled to recall distinct
ly the circumstances OF that awful night and espe
oially the et ngs oil my heart at the time the fatal
act was committed. IT my intention was 10 destroy
life aiA doubtless murderer; tor 1t Is IN the pur-
pose Of The heart that the guilt OF the act CONSISTS
| cannot that This was not my intention, for how
else would have done eha did! Sure am how
ever, tha, had not tn my houeh atthe moment, Tue
rt al naiuie and consequences OF The act which vas
con- hitting and as lar as | recollect, that act
proceeded f ON feelings Of tenderness and compas
sion, rather than from any other. II would have
been cruel TO have msngied the flesh OF the msera
bic corpse while spa'k Of life still fingered in lis
veins; but did not reflect that that spark had no
fleH W cStIpulsH-Hdy' 'Hdt was cOulhj %
man. 10 foster and 10 cherish ii. Strange as II may
seem, the idea never entered into my mind that the
unhappy being might be sored to life. He
Insleacor, doomed by the laws OF his country to
death, sud who could rob death OF his prey? Was
il n NY power 20 do any thing more than to refrain
Eon puuglug my knife into the bosom OF the i'll.
lated wretch iiil the life which still fingered at his
heart had vanished forever lrue il is, that it had
reflect fo an il slant would have known that the
uF hte maid and that the criminals
lite, il it still enaintd to him. bad then become his
own Bu, did not effect at all; what | did
done almost without thought,--but much thought
have ! since eS pended on It, But there is another
reflection that tor menls me have reason 10 think
that the was innacent oi the crime 10. which he
Grd nave been twice in Paris making inquiry as
10 the ats pt bis and this is tbs conclusion TO
which have been brought Al the, red has
increased my misery, bu, it satisfied for momen,
the raiiess ieveiishness oi my soul found that
the unfortunate men had been a farmer III remote
province III the south o Fapce and that he had
been tried Pars Tor the crine OF robbIng certain
lIJ2eliers God near his house. Tn, evidence
on .bcn he was convicted entirely circumstan
s! and he asserted his innocence, as the reader al
ready ku1As. al the se,y hour OF his death. have
htstd, moreover, that 'wo men. who have been
since exef uted, acknowledged heir guilt Ct this
c!iue and de Jared ha the person who had urme,
II dled Ior ii was wholly innocent. Alas that per
son had been destined o perish by my hand after he
had ou'lsed, 10 the strength ef innocence, the hor
rors Of The scaE3ld.
In vain do seek relief from The thoughts that
oppress INC, n pe'uang the works Of moralists and
oi i1tists. and in tracing through their pages the
VARIOUS distinctions of cnminality which may exist
IN The act oi taking away hua an liIe In vain do
reason with myself, and say There was nothing
in the act which ! Committed which amounts to the
legal and moral de6nt n Of nu,der,-- there wos no
take away lie" III the reflection occurs that HE
have taken away,-that the deed was done calmly AMI
deliberately without without heot OF
bilod II IS tue that iit was done by carel ssness.
OF ny accldeHt.i i hO murder but ii done
y a. II not 10 overcome and destroy the weak and
struggling lille, that pressed my hand against the
YONG mans bosom ? and ii so, am mol murder
err My have concealed the whole transaction
up :" ms hour, unless was conscious OF gull -
Whv did not Immediately declare TO Luback all
.ha had taken pIaoe Such the reflection which
have occupied my mind for the greater part Of
long and siogulatIy unhappy life and now ha,
am, ~ The course OF nature, approaching The grave,
the po'grancy oi these thoughts, instead Of being
ntgated hos become sharper and more severe
Often do say the morning, would to God il were
evening aud in the evening. would to Cod i, were
morning !-Thets is bu subject which is ior
ever dwelling in my mind. and no eXertion, 40 art
can Danish II even for single hour. Many lime
do s'arl from sleep with the whole dreadful scene
iulI before me the pale arm Of the murdered wretch
lifted up, and his eyes glutering upon me with ter
rible brightness If place my hand upon my brow
or ii lay upon the pillow, il is all the same ;-,he
throbbinss OF thai heart. which by my act still
Cd forever, arc distinctly beating there; and the
same lear!nl voice which first awokc the fury Of
eonsclence, Is pealing in my ears, -" Thou murder
CT! thou murderer
ssrs-~..<.-sxz.E-s--~----sc
TIE EMPEROR ALEXANDER.