The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware advertiser., 1826-06-01

ence at the court OF princes. If she but lift
her lean skinny finger, they dare not DISC
hey her. She rules the greater tyrant with
greater tyranny than he rules his people.
She is is present at all the lcvees of mon
archs; she prescribes the rank Of foreign
I ministers, and settles the important affair of
precedence among their wives. They are
sometimes dissatisfied with her decisions;
they pout and fret, and fidget, and vow by
al the lace in their wardrobes, that they
vii! not submit to her partial management.
nut she laughs in her sleeve, works her
wires with new vigor, and makes the pup
pets dance TO any tune she pleascs-Nor
dives the influence she exercises over the
great ones of the earth, cease when the spir-
it leaves the body. But Etiquette attends
the corps laid out in state. and rides (if we
may use the cxprcssion) in the empty
mourning coaches, and uses her endeavors
that not tear Of sincere and genuine sor
row shall be shed on the occasion.
Etiquette commands the tluellst to stand
up 20 be shot at, and he stands up Ikea fool
! She makes him believe that the smell OF
gun powder, with the chance of being killed
is full equivalent for his wife's chastity
his sisters honor, or his own reputation.
And after being thoroughly shot through,
she causes him to grasp the hand OF the a
dulterer and murderer, and acknowledge
with his last breath, that he sis an honora-
BILE man." She makes congressman believe.
that a round bit of iead, alias, 7yad is the
"severeigns't thing i the world for an in
zyard bruse."
Etiquette has acquired no small share of
influence in this land of plain mann-rs and
free inStitntions 1t would be as much as
ones life is worth to mention king in this
country; not even Washington with all
his worth, his noble part and god-like bear
ing, would have been tolerated moment
if he had dared to lay his hand on the lber-
ties of his country. But Etiquette. old, di-
mnutive, and ugly as she is, governs with
immense sway, and finds great part of the
rich, and some of the poor, subjects of her
arbitrary rule.
She is not only to be found at the seat of
government, and in the large cities of our
country. but she presidcs in our small towns
and villages. and takes special pleasure in
making her country subjects as ridiculous as
possible. She delights in turning them into
monkeys. that she may see them ape the
empty ceremonies and vexatious tormalities
of the most empty-headed of our citizen sub
jects. She seems to take a malicious pleas
ure in the antic capers of village lordlings
If she finds a man, who like a mushroo, n,
has suddenly grown high from his native
dunghill she causes him to put on a variety
of ridiculous airs; one of which is, to hold up
his chin as high as the tops of his neighbors
heads; another is, to deal out his attentions
to his fellow -mortals in the direct proportion
to the number ofdollars they happen to have
in their pockets; third-but in short il
would be endless to mention the Thousand
aughable instances of folly, she causes hel
votaries to commit
Etiquette presides in the ball room, at tht
r. tea party, and even in the church; she shew
her diminutive form in the streets; she il
present at marriages, at christenings, ant
burials. She prescribes the number o
bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the partic
ular dress to be worn on the occasion; ant
=; has such influence over the minds of th
" happy pair at the altar, that they would no
think themselves lawfully married, if the,
should happen to be wanting in the usua
,e number of attendants, or were to approach
the ceremony in dress differing either il
form or color from the one prescribed by tn
lie determined rules of Etiquette. She direct
the fashion and hue of mourning apparel
n she Furnishes the plates on the coffin, AM
measures in thimble the tears OF surviving
relatives and friends. She prescribes on
year for the wearing of black; and when tina
is ended, DiuS them put OH thclr sorro" ALI
their sable together.
r. Etiquette has been for long time at wa
Of with nature, and with various success. Blu
n wherever she has carried the day, She take
pleasure in making her tributaries uncom
Portable. She lays perpetual embargo o
the enjoyments of social life, and causes tn
intercourse of friends and neighbours to e
vaporate in cold form and empty ceremony
She descends to the most exact account i
the minutin of ranks and occupations, an
shews the Inequality in the quality of peo
pie whose motto is, "liberty and equality.
She settles the precedence between lap
stones and yard -sticks-between razors an
pots--between smoothing planes an
periwigs--between cossacks and composing
sticks--between butcher-knives and lancet
between carts and coaches-betweep side
boards and -pans-betwecn spinning
wheels and broidering frames-in short sh
settles the precedence between whatever
ostentatious and gay, and whatever is mod
est and useful, and caprIciously decides
favor of the former.
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