Martinsburg gazette and public advertiser. [volume] (Martinsburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1826-1833, 1826-12-07

oyster eater. Metallic SuDStaDcei
poisonous vicinily.' returned the man
of louruies, petishly, II have eaten
many barrel of oysters in my time,
sir, and" 81 hope you'll cat many
more," interrupted Waters, although
upon my soul l doubt it, However,
az rcUoir; and we left him for stroll
about the town On OR return to
supper, after an hours ramble, we
found the Commercial Gentleman pa
cling up and down the room, "non pas
sibus, equis"-and evidently awaiting,
with some anxiety, our re appearance.
"Sir," said he to Waters, 10 The most
silvery tones, 81 have been consider
ing what you told me-and-I feel
rather queer" snow don't let me
alarm you," said w. with his most
imperturable face, "but we remarked
| 10 each other, as we entered the room,
that your countenance was perfectly
altered " "Now are you serious? Oh
dear! what shall | do! Do advise mel"
"Call in medical man directly" said
the wag, "aDd that no time may be
lost, myself will be yonr messenger"
He soon found country practilion
er, " HON he summoned 10 SEGA "friend
of his OF very shattered nerues, who
fancied himself poisoned by eating a
few oysters!" The affair, in conse.
| quence, took new turp After Mr.
Gobhlestone had detailed his case with
the utmost earnestDrss, eyes, yes"
says the Doctor to us, in whisper, 81
see very clearly how matters stand -
Evidently disordered in the brain
Wrong there" and he tapped, in the
most knowing manner, his own bald
pericranium. "IlI humor him." To
the patient, with smile, he continued,
Eyes, sir, yes, Cornish oysters are
most pelnlcious-highly pernicious-
fatally pernicious; you must be bled
without delay; blister to morrow, if
necessary; cooling draugh on
going to bed, and l shall send
mixture TO be taken every three hours"
The commercial gentleman was then
bled, and hurried off to his pillow;
while Waters, determined to keep I'd
the joke, while assisting him to undre.s,
secreted his waistcoat; we then had the
broad back taken out, and very
narrow one substituted. Early the
next morning, l made point of see.
ing the invalid. 81 hope you are bet.
ter, Dir. Gobblestone?" 90! lam as
wellss ever was in my life 1t was
all a joke, wasn't it," said he, with
what was meant to be an insinuating
smile, 81 knew it was all joke, ha! -
"Well, hope you'll find it SUCH" said
l, slyly depositing the waistcoat, and
making my exit. We had hardly be
gun breakfast, when the unfortunate
Londoner rushed in, his eyes staring
his teeth chattering-aDd desperation
marked on every feature. "I'm dead
man-polsoned-done for;gone Look
my waistcoat, t.sat I pulled off with
ease last uight, won't meet any where
by three inches this morning. Oh Il
see it plalnly-my hours are numbered,
and I'm 10 be another victim 10 these
fatal oysters. Yes, from the first mo.
ment you mentioned it, I was sure it
was all over with me. ] feel myself
swelling every minute. Help! help!
send ter surgeon-but it's in vain, I'm
beyond the reach of medicine. @ dear,
. dear! how 0ery, rery hard to die in
THIS out of-the way place. and all for
the sake OF a few oysters! For Gods
sake, gentlemen, take pity on dying
man; my life's invaluable TO the firm.
How long dye think shall live? Have
| time to make my will: Think of the
firm! what ,oiN they sag. when they
think of my untimely end: Tn going
l feel tiny breath's leaving me, help!
1 say belp!"
The joke was now become serious,
for The Commercial Gentleman was
black in the face, and we determined
on telling him The truth He listened
TO us with gllsiening eyes; at the con
clusion, smiled in the most ghastly
manner, and then rushed precipitately
from the room.
A foil quarter of an hour was spent
IN incessant roars of laughter, and when
tina. time had elapsed, we sought him
with the Iandlady; she told US, that
on leaving the room, he called for his
bill. Settled it like lord" ordered a
chalse, and Quilted the town. The re.
collection of his lovalo cos,ptcnapoa