Literary cadet, and Saturday evening bulletin. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1826-1827, 1826-07-15
FOR THE LITERARY CADET.


FOR THE LITERARY CADET.
Mn. EpiToR.-lIaving lately arrived from Sym
zonia, and being unacquaintcd with the manners,
the habits and the customs Of the inhabitants on the
outside Of this globe, have often in the simplicity
Of my heart, been exposed to the jeers and the un-
haliowcd laughter of those who were unccquan,ed
with the cause Of my ignorance. Therefore in the
hope of exciting the compassion Of the good people
of this town, 10 wink at my uuinten,ional errors,
and Instead of laughing at to instruct me. shall
relate the following occurrence, which took place
on my first coming amongst them. | observed
creatures walking the streets, resembling and
boys. except preternatural excrescence situated
between the and mouth, out Of which, az from
the crater of a Volcano issued volumes Of smoke
What i'll the name of wonder these creatures were,
| could not determine; but concluded them TO be
some sort of automatons, invented by the inhabit-
ants Of the exterior, by art unknown to the peo-
pie inside of the world; and that for the amusement
of the citizens, they were set going in the streets.
by something like stcam-engine machinery, and
that the fire necessary for the operation of the ma
chinery, accounted for the smoke which behold
with SO much terror. However, for fear of some
harm from the bursting Of the boiler, or for fear
that had mis'udsed them, and that they might be
some sort OF land torpedo, calculated purpose to
annoy folks kept at respectful distance. until
saw the men of the town approach them injured
] ,hen made bold TO draw a little nearer towards
| them, and perceived scent issuing from them,
nearly as strong and dsasrecable US that from
pole cat; but judge Of my astoniehment when dis
covered that they were composed of real flesh and
| blood. began to think them IA race Of beings,
aud that the excresccnce aforementioned was the
'chimney, which gave vent to the smoke from the
| fires which were burning within them. But my
| wonder increased, when saw one Of them pull of
the cxcrescence AMI eject from the opening be-
tween his nose and chin, something like tea-cup-
full of liquid resembling that which drivels from
the mouth Of rabid animal.
| Mistaken in all my theories and conjectures,
respecting This strange animal, | determined to
satisfy my curiosity by enquirng of the first per-
son whom should meet, the Of all the phe-
nomena which had seen; aud though an elderly,
sober-looking mar, the first person addressed
on the subject, yet he almost laughed NE out of
countenance, at my silly questions, and not until I
had told him that was a stranger, from Symzonia,
would he deisn to give me the ieast information |;
and the following explanation was new to me,
and will be to every Symzonian, perhaps some of
the stories Of my own country may be to you.
| lie told me that what supposed TO be an un-
slightly excrescence, was nothing more than the
leaves of certain vegetable curiously put together
for the purpose Of smoking that this plant, orisi
the name of Tobacco, and had come into such gene
raj Use, that it was extensively cultivated for the
purpose Of supplying the inhabitants with the arti-
Gle throughout the whole exterior parts of the
world aud that was not only used for smoking, as
had seen, but that thu rsands Of tons were consul
med by chewing, and by being powder cd and snuff
fed up the nostrils. lie further added, that the
cost of the article by the year, for smoking only
was often from so to 500 for each person !!
At this information was greatly surprised, and
| enQureu oil MIN what sOTt ol Oeuelll the COpsumet
received from its use, which adequate to thi.
immense expense whether it possessed nu.
trtou. properties, and the inhabitants employed j,
as necessary article Of diet, whether il possess
ed some secret medicinal power, which would
keep of the approach of old age and enable It's yo-
tarie, TO live in vigorous youth for centuries to
come; or whether there was something so very
grateful and fascinating in the taste ofthe smoke or
the dried leaves that people were willing to pay SO
literally for the qualification.
At these questions my hearer ives completely out
of patience, and abruptly answered." grateful
taste-no-for to persons unaccustomed to its eit
is highly disagreeabic and produces siekoe's at the
stomach. dizziness of the head, and such other fec
ling. as you might have bad when you came out at
the Norh-Polc, over that region Of eternal storms
and tempe.t,; and instead Of being nutritious, its
use destroys the powers Of Digestion and instead Of
warJing of, il ha.tcns the approach Of old ages aud
finally renders torpid the powers Of body and