Richmond enquirer. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1815-1867, 1826-05-19


ambitious frolicksome projects so far as TO at
tempt visits to the sun. These, like most o
Their ambitious 9ronauts, became well scorched,
and had their wings clipped in the bargain. A.
length, after becoming saiated with their airy
cursiohs, the eronsuts consented TO subject them
selves once more TO the laws of graviation, and
came Down upon mother earth with 4 tremendous
crash; sinking some two, three feet into her
bosom; and strange to tell, these crouaus frolicks
amongst the stones were becoming quite fsshiona-
bic. All these strange things soemnly
sworn 10 by pious hrethern 10 the East; aud
authenticated according TO the best of my recoec-
tion, by selectmen, priests and deacons, accom-
panied with further authorizations, not only of
the credbility. but OF the pety and sancity of
each deponent Doctor Milchill, who was always
disposed to allow dame nature more freaks and
irolIcks than she ever required for her own udui-
gence, but resolved, that she should in
duge in any freak or frolck, without he knew her
motive tor II, giving full credence TO all these
eccentric,ieS, attempted discover dame natures
motive for them. He found himself, howe ver some
:" hat puzzled in his undertaking; and consulted in
vain, his brethren the illuminate. at length, the
Doctor having taken the solution OF these raor
binary phenomena very much to heart, upon din
ing with Mr.. Jefferson, determined TO 60 10 the
headquarters OF philosophy for their solution; and
after apprising MIR. J.ifsrson of his perplcxies
erqcired OF him whether the subject had attracted
lie Iiau Deen enabled TO
find any satisfactory solution of the perplexne phe
ncmena: Mr.. Jefferson promptly replied that he
was surprised at the pulling perplexies of the
Doctor, and the senatus cousulum Of The illum-
natl assured the Doctor that he could solve The
whole phegomena with perfect certainty and in
three mono, yabies. The Doctor delighted a, the
near approach OF his relief from all his anxious
lucubrations begged MIR. Jefferson 20 relieve hi.
anxieties at once, hen Mr.. Jefferson, looking the
Doctor s'eadiasiy in the face, in an elevated tone
OF voice, said" NS-G-Re!t'' So saw
1, respecting the whole tribe Of miraculous tales
about Instructions and other slandorous things: and
| trust the solutions have given of them this day
Will ias;en the spell upon them, that Mr.
Je.tersons monosy ilsble solu ion did upon the
frolicAsome stones. For, since that spell
was put upon them, have not heard OF single
:rolicksome cronaut stone, in the whole of our
North Eastern hemisphere
told you, my friends, that there were wire.
working jusglers behind the curtain usheriug forth
these miraculous tales about instructions aud many
other sanderous things. will now endeavour 10
settle all accounts with these juggling gentry, b,
telling you anecdote about the detection of one
o the tribe, whilst actually engaged in practising
his art. His offence, however, is innocence white
as snow, compared with the black deeds of these
canHibals who delight to feast upon e reputa-
tons of their feowmen. You all know, tina, from
time lmmemorel, the discovery of principle OF
fE'UHl lUOtlOn mas Decn thought great beside.
ratuin with the philosophical world. About fifteen
or twenty years ago, one ReGlcalTer OF Philadel
phia, announced in the public prints that he was
the happy philosopher whose good fortune it was
10 have become the discoverer Of the great prnci-
pie OF perpetual motion; and invited all the scien
tho OF every description to assemble in room
to witness the exhibition of his happy discovery.
RedheafIer had invented an ingenious machine
which was fixed TO the ceiling of the exhibition
room--upon this machine he placed ball, which
kept an uniform equabe motion for an unlimited
time, without dlminutlon in lis velocity in despite
both OF the laws of friction and gravltation This
then, was the very principle of perpetual motion.
which the philosophical world had heretofore
sought after in vain. After frequent exhibitions,
the most scepucsi became convinced of the realit,
OF the great discovery, and the scient fc were
about applying it to useful purposes At length.
during an exhibition numerousiy attended gentle
man having some little latent suspicion thar how
ever lair appearances In front OF the curtain
some Juggling might be carrying Oh behind il; and
observing a small trap door in the ceiling of the
room, proposed 10 some bystanders TO get a lad
der and !orceup the door to see what was going ON
aot; accordingly the trap door was forced and upon
rushing in upon the hoor above, the philosopbic
discoye!er OF perpetual motion, or some accom-
piice, was ionnd sPTawled oat at full length upon
the upper floor, working wire which was con-
Quoted through the ceiling and impaired the i'm
peu' TO the perpetual moving ball, and thus solved
Redheatter's principle Of perpetual motion What
my friends, do you think must have been the con-
dtlon Of this we-worising iugger upon this detec
uon! And what punishment do you think he
deserved for this wlul deception, prac,iced upon
public credulity? believe his detectors pitched
him down stairs and left him to the stings of an
accusing conscience.
Now, my friends, suppose you could burst omen
a trap door to the heart OF one of these capnibaI
OF human reputation, and see the wire-yorkine
there, preparing delicious banquet for his induI
sence upon the reputation of his fellow man: how
much worse DO you think his condition would be
than Redheafier's! Hoy much more punish
ment do you think he " Guild deserve? And sun
pose you could place looking-glass before him 50
as to reflect the image OF his own heart, upon his
own yissge, do you not think he would himself
be shocked at lis horrible Geiorm.y? would dis
own 1t, and shrinking from it aghas, .! would swear
Tis'nt mineM
would now, my friends, bid final aaiau. 10 all
these miraculous tales about Instructions and other
strange things; but there is one other circumstance
connected with the subject which wish 10 present
to your view and consideration; because =, hist if
will demonstrate to you the principles which have
at all times governed my conduct in the character
OF your representative 1t ought 10 fix spell upon
oil the false and malicious tales told of nv pri
vaie pecuniaTy Transactions Hear it. "Albo'
am aware, that have already irespassed perbaos
too long upon the patience OF the General A .sern-
bly,. must still beg its indulgent attention TO few
observations, not Immediately connected with the
subject under consideration. wish the General
Assembly 10 be informed, that have been acting
IN me representative character for more than TWEEN
~ years; that during that whole lime 7 have taken
pecullsr delight in the character OF the representa-
tive of the people; that not only have never
To an aft -. eli. a 4.