Literary cadet, and Saturday evening bulletin. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1826-1827, 1826-07-29
PROVrDENCH.

tnlS community huu III tnis pldCc we sIdli WISH
him great in attempting TO correct evil.
which of all others is the most destructive to the
happiness of mankind. We doubt, however, if he
succeeds in his audable attempts at reformation
and since Rush and Waterhousc, and a thou
sand others, have failed in the eexpedton which the
traveller has entered on, it cannot be improper to
say TO him that his is a hopeless cause.
But il his essay shall succeed in withdrawing
from vicious habits one of the misguided and
wretched followers Of the Bachannalian God, his
aims will have been attained, and our best wishes
realised.
There is not in the world, a vice so destruc-
tive to the welfare Of society as is intemperapce
but unfortunately, it is one which cannot in any
age he eradicated. We thank the writer for his
good intentions, but in the same breath we shall
ask him, not to make his essays quite 50 lons.]
MR. EDIToR-
Since you have had the goodness to publish my
account Of the dreadful CONSERVATION experienced
from the smoking fraternity, | shall now relate
another occurrence which gave me equal concern,
with that which at last ended in ftmo.
Whilst walking your streets, saw, to my utter
confusion, biped animals, bearing the "human form
divine" passing with an unsteady, staggering gait
like persons ship board, in a rough sea-yet that
the ground under them was real terra frma, my
own senses convinced me what then the
cause Of this unsteady and awkward ambulation,
was at a loss to determine;-could it be, thought
I, some peculiar disease, incident to the climate
or some NAL conformation of the back and joints,
which had become hereditary in certain families
were they not some of the largest kind Of Apes,
who, in attempting to become civilized, were en-
deavoring to initiate the human species. in the erect
position of the body, but had not yet learned the
art Of walking, so as to appear graceful in their
moyements or to prevent their occasionally falling
ON all fours, like the Ape, in my own country.
Having never seen in symzonia, animals like
these, which defy all attempts at classification,
resolved to have recourse to the same old gentle
man, formerly consulted, for information to solve
this knotty subject.
But, Mr.. Editor, judge ofmy astonishment, when
he informed me, tn at it was natural infrmty of
either body or mind, nor any malady transmitted
from parents to their offspring, which caused their
silly appearance, or their harlequin gestures, in
walking, nor were these beings any other than the
| human species. who, by ndulsence, have become
the victims ofa depraved appetite. However,
as you are unacquainted with the good and evil
which prevails among U.S. it is necessary, previous
to beng informed of the poisonous article which
deprives them ofthc use of their senses, to know
that in the early ages of society, on this side
of the world, mankind began to seek for some kind
ofbeverage, more exhiliratipg than the simple fluid
which nature supplied from the chrystal spring, and
certain shire wd old man, by the name Of Noah
Bacchus, first expressed the juice from she grape,
which were then spontaneously produced; and al
ter letting it stand until it fermented-he found
upon drinking it, that he had obtained a drink
highly grateful to his appetite-he, of course, gave
some oft 10 his friends, who so much pleased
with its enlivening qualities, that in time, it was
extensively prepared from the cultivated grape;
not so much that the cultvator of the soil might
have the supreme felicity of drinking this happi-
flying liquor, but that he might have a surplus to
vend to his neighbor, who pursued other employ
ment., and that he also might be rartaker in the
happiness Of the wine bibbing society. So great
was the satisfaction derived from its use in those
days, that, by general consent, the discoverer
uelHeu, anu paCCndS mas Deeu WOTsnppeV as "
God since:--nay, said he, at this very day, he
has more devout worshippers among the people out.
side Of the world, than the great God who made
lm
But friend, traveller, had the human family
been contented with the discovery Of thi. impor
tant beverage, which may be emphatically called
the joy Of the young the milk of the aged, and the
cordial of the enfeebled sick, Of species,
except the Turks could in reason have found fault
with either the liquor or its inventor.
But indulgence in this liquor only excited the
appetite to other DESIRES or so bewitched the un-
derstsnding, that they made attempts oseparate
the most ETHEREAL parts OF the wine that they might
obtain the pure element in its most inflamable
state and by art of chemical coruration, they
have succeeded to their wish, and procured liquor
possessing highly intoxicating properties; which,
when drank to excess, produces the effect which
you have already seen, in the persons whose ges-
tures and movements appeared to you so unac-
countsbe.
Yes, said my inforner, and so great is the demand
for spirituous liquors, that the distaton Of them
from wine and other fermented liquors 10 not suf.
fee the people for consumption; so that they are
un,ler necesstv of in THAR