Constitutional Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1824-1832, 1826-03-07
From he .NIe'O .Vonttiy .Hagazias.

THE COLLEGIAN AND THE PORTER
At Trim. Coll Cam. which means in proper spein
Trinity College, Cambridge there resided
One Harry Dashinst on--a youth excellent
In all the learning commonly provided
For these who choose that classic station
For finishing their educaton:-
That is-he understood computin.
The odds at any race match;
Was dead hand at pigcon shooting;
Could Kick up fowS-kuock down the watch
Play ruan; and the rake at ra ndonl--
Drink-tic cYayats-anI drive tandem
Remons,ancc, fine, and rustication,
So far from working reformation,
Seemed but to make his lapse greater
I'LL nc was warnd that next offence
Would have this certain consequence
Expulsion from his Alma Mater.
One need moi be nccromanccr
10 guess that, with wild wight
the next olerCe GccErrd s.ext night;
Nhen cur incucaS!e came rolling
home IS the midnight chimes were to!l;n..
And rang The College belize answer
The second peal was vain--the thi.d
Mace tho street echo its alarm;
When to hiS great delight be heard
Ire soIAid Janltor, old Ben,
housing aud growing in his ,icu--
= nos there?--l s'PoSe young HaruTScsrum,
It's I, my worthy Bcn-'tis Hlfrv"
Aye, 50 iha"sht--and there you'll tatfy,
IS past the houf--ihe gates closed,
You know my 0rders--I shall lose
My place If / undo the door >
And l. (young Hopeful interposed,)
Shall he expolld if You refuse,
80 pry!hee"--Ben began to snole.-
lin YET cried Harry. ..io the skin.
Hip! hallo! Ben-don't lie Il ninny;
Beneath tine gate I've thrust a guinea
SO tumble out n nd !e! lie in;
''HumpI,," uro,yl'l ,in ,,,,,I,, "a .... ,
Ha!t cveijoyed and half in dungeon,
NOW you may pass; but make no fuss,
on tIptoe walk, and hold your prate."-
Look on the stones old Celberus"
Cried Harry ds he passd the gate,
"lve dropped shilng-take a light
You II find it just outsido-goud night"
Behold the porter in his shiIt,
CnrSing the rain which yer stoppd,
Cropping a d ruking ia the dirt,
And all without success; but that
Is hardly 10 be wonder'd at
Because no shilling had bee Il Dropped,
50 lie gave o er the search at least
RegaiH'd the doc!, and found it--fast!--
With sund'y oaths and srowls and groaus
Sc rarg .cc--twj ce-and thrice; and then,
hig.sc witi giggius heard the tones
VI Harry mimckmg old Beu.--
V ho's lrsrr;-'Tis really disgrace
iotins 90 loud--I'ge lock Il liz gate
alrv . duty;-Tis too late
Yea you'd have me lose my place.
"Psha! Mr. Dasbngton: remember,
| MS is the middle OF Noyember;
I'm strippd;-'iis raining cats and dogs
Hush, bush!' quotb Hal; I'm, fast asecp;7
And then he snored as loud and deep
AZ a whole company of hogs.
But, harkye, Ben, Ill grant ajmit;ance
Al the same rate paid myself"
Nay, master, leave ne half the pttancc,"
Replied the voraCi0us elf.
Mo- all Oh none full acquiuancc;--
The terms know, arc some what high;
But you nave Sid the price. no, =
won't take less; can't a ford it,
So .i'.a'og Al! MS ia .g!.ng vair,
Ben "ih an odt. and grca:i of pain
Drew out tie guinea aud re5to.c,; it.
Surely you'Ii give ne" growld III ouiwued
Porter, when again admitted
"5omething now you've done y0ur Joking,
Tor all this trouble, time aud soaking"
"Ch, surely" Harry said,
Since, a, you urge, broke your rest,
And you're half drowud, and quite una!css'I.
Ill give you---leavc to 90 to bed"