The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware advertiser., 1826-08-10

sequence was, that ne axe HIMSELF INTO thc
good graces Of all in Sleepy Hollow. In like
manner, no teacher can be popular in H
if he has not the appetite of shark. The
agents house, at which tarried night and
morning, was mile and half distant from
the anatomy OF building where my pupils
daily assembled to shiver, not with terror,
but with sold, for all the birch consumed in
school, was consumed by fire; and ! have
the satisfaction to know, that, as 1t was me-
yer employed to produce heat by impulse,
it never yielded any at a sensible distance. !,
But mile and half was too far to travel
for dinner. l was, therefore, kindly permit
ted to dine at Mrs. Dunnings, in the vicinity
of the school-house. The first forenoon was
spent in an idle attempt to learn forty-hve
christian, would say barbarous names, COM
pared with which, the names of Oliver CroD
Wells Jury dwindles into absolute proprie-
ty. At twelve o'clock retreated to Mrs.
Ounning's, where hearty welcome await
ed me. Dinner shortly appeared-but as
this is the meal, that in weeks time had
we'll nigh sunk me to the grave, it merits a
particular description. 1t will be sufficient
to enumerate the articles set before me on
the first occasion, for can say to the read
er, TEX uno disco omnes"; which is, being
interpreted, there was no variation during
twenty eight days. First, came on an un-
known quantity OF tea, contained in coffee
pot that might have served for moderate
sized lighthouse. Secondly, plate of what
Mrs Dunning, with apparent sincerity, call
ed sliced pork but what ! suspected from
its color and tenacity to be gum elastic. This
was followed by quart bowl OF real pork in
a state of fusion. Some one who had pre-
yiously told me, by way OF encouragement,
that all schoolmassers live upon the fat of
the land. Alas the ambiguity of language;
till now had never understood the express
sion. On one corner of the table stood an
article that would have staggered Helioga-
bulcs; namely, a concal turret OF dough nuts.
This detestable escuent, the pride OF our
country danes. sometimes resembles one OF
your inflexible little soup dumplings at O.
the,s, it appears to be kind of mongrel
pancake The opposite corner was defend
ed BY turret of similar shape, and nearly
as fol- rmidable, consisting of minced dun fish.
A plate Of brown bread, sn irregular mass
of Junk beef, an apple pie resembling the top
of an overgrown toad STOOL a bowl Of corpu-
lent potatoes in violent perspiration, and a
batter pudding of cylindrical shape, livid
complexion, and the most appalling specific
gravity completed the dinner. 1t is difficult
to find simile for this puddins-the reader
may obtain faint idea of its appearance
and constitution, by inspecting leaden clock
weight. i SAT QOWU Will VIC SluDDOIli ICSO-
luton Of eating till the family were satisfied
"a sure, but terrible path to popularity
"Come MASTER" said Mrs. Dunning, "reacl
to and help yourself-when you are among
poor folks, you must put up with poor folks
fare strove to allay the good woman.
anxiety by word and deed. l seized pota
toe, squashed 1t on my plate. and gazcd il
silent agony on the four spoonsfull Of lquit
pork generously poured upon it under the
name of gravy. A reputation and twenty
eight dollars being at stake, 1t would have
been rashness i'll me to refuse the half pounC
of minced fish, four cups Of tea, ninety de
grees of apple pie, and eleven dough nuts
which were thrust upon me with the mos
distressing kindness. 1t is said that the n
Carolina militia, when commanded to fire
shut their eyes, Danish thought, and pul
trigger. A feeling, somewhat similar
prompted me to close mine as each mouth
full was conveyed to its predestinated place
and my jaws labored mechanically, like an
other grist MILL
By dint of these conclusive efforts, all tn
articles just mentioned were soon made t
disappear;and now, thought |, have dee
impression in my favor. Deluslve idea a
evanescent as the provender that vanishe
before the knife and fork of Mrs. Dunning'
son, promising young Vulcan whose oper
and my heart sunk within ne at the com
parative insignihcance of my own exploits
The dependence created 10y this scene wa
heightened by an exclamation from Mr.
Dunning: "ah master, you won't make OF
dinner. l am afear'd you don't like ou
fare" At that instant wished myself a
Esquimaux or an ostrich. AS it was, ] mad
one effort and devoured two more dough
nuts; but here symptom of strangling rer
dered me stiffnecked against all turthe
solicitations. l had realized and could de
monstrate an absolute plenuin / pass c
yer the difficulty OF walking TWO rods to tn
school and merely remark that had gon
to the agents tor dinner, my pupils woul
have gained half a holiday.
Let me stop moment to remind the res
der that this narrative is not written for al
plause-that synpath! is not expected
that smile would be an insult tor to m
it is a momento of any thing but the ludit
rous. He may bear in mind also, that hay
disclaimed exaggeration, and profess to t
the advocate of truth. These reflection
will enable him to meet without sneer tt
solemn assurance, that in successive day
/ devoured seventeen meals of equal magn
tude with the one described. Nor can n