The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1826-04-17
From the New York Evening Post.

To the Erudite in Etiquette, Sc. thus comes
greeting:
WHEREAS, | The sub3t riber having for a
dolerul number of years been afflicted with
greyous malady. which totally disqual-
Red me from making any progress in fash
ionabe requirements, and which said NAL
al, is held 10 utter dettstation more par
,euhrly BY aIi aandirs', bcaux, coquetts. s.
other shallow Drained cTeatures--to then,
] shall look for a remedy. The disease of
which lspeak is baSifuineSS-and al many
of the readers of this paper doubtless have
bong since cured themselves oft, and d.
sers others of a like nature, may shortly
expect an answer tothe following interrog-
attes: lst. What is the most Efficient
method TO eradicate a certain fnttering a
hphtari, whenever am introduced to q
hdy of beauty? This complaint has latter
b glintd an alarming height, insomuch
that am utterly unable To administer
wholesome proportion of Battery, Or maxi
the common place observations on tn
state of the weather, Sc. TO the apnihila-
tloo Of all my hope ofeyer gaining a nook
n the ladies private meditatlans. 2dly.
What are the best rules to be observed ~
telling homely lady she is beautiful, and
spretty ssnplston she is female Solo
mon, suppose it requires good deal of
BRASS TO do this and those of your friends
WIN are Of an obliging disposition, and pos
,e,s this desirable article in a suprrabuad
AM degree, will confer Il f,your by trans
hitting goodly portion of 1t per the next
"Pos,." 3dly. Whether, after sitting by
lady a whole evening, without talking IN
cessantly more than seseu-eighths of the
time, you are warrantahle in making yonr
Obeisance the next lime you may chance
Gu meet her III the street. 4thy, "a Iadles,
man can answer this.l What method is the
most productive of agreeable results IL
making love to lady. who has frawned
and turned up her lip At least half a dozen
times. The one who answers this will
please be- extremely particular, as am
realty captive to a miidea possessing all
the charms which render q frmale lovely
III the eyes Of man In tine first place,
che dances admirably. and IS also an excel
hnt hand to scdndali2r any one baUdspmer
ihan herself She generally creates a whis-
per when any stranger enters the room
une day she IS al condescenson laughs,
talks with me- admlrps the ct of my era
val, the shape Of my hal, and the cot Of my
Goat. Next day she draws up her brDWs,
Looks At me- With half closed eyes, and, if /
Commence talking, declares she never saw
such forward slmblrton in all her life, and
That she wondered who | could be--then
suddenly reeolectinS something cries orr,
oA yes, he did see me at Miss Sucb-a. ones
Dali Now on such an occasion my dis
temper RACES most violently; blush to
my very eyebrow, stammcr, hem, cough
~ short lappear rldculously ah-urd, and
generally have the comfortable assurance
Of berg laughed at by the hJle company.
am sus, mau ofpfOpery. an incausjje.
Table figure, aud were it NOT for the DIS
ease above mentioned. would mabe onc of
'' most ohiglng. civil inotlrnsiye b"anx
aa'Pitsent existing Aud 20" AIessrs. Ed
J ""Fs, hoping you will eXholt your CORES
I P'harnis To favour me with directions for
! - removal Of my misfortune, subscribe
myself your humble servant 10 command.
OBADIAH AMEfACE.