Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1826-08-03


which he has been emlnently successful in
making numerous converts to his system. Oc-
casonally, when he, as is often the case, is in.
vited on, TO dinner, he dispatches his valet as
an avani courier, with the SOULS in basket, in
order that, if opportunity should offer, he may
kill two dogs with one stone; that is, while he
rejects himself, he may at the same time, by
ecturipg on heads, promote the interes, Of SCI
ence. 1t happened, not many weeks ago, that
this gentleman had dined at friends house,
distant about two miles from the town in which
be dwells. The SOULS were Of the company
also, and, after the entertainment, in which, OF i
course, they had no share, were left behind, the
worthy host promising to send them 10 town
by his servant-man the rex, day The next
day was Sunday, and the roads were thronger
with pedestrians than is usual on ordinary days.
In the forenoon, the servan,-man received the
basket of SOULS, without knowing wha, il con-
tanned, with orders TO carry il 20 the town. A
note addressed to the worthy professor, was
placed among the SOULS; and a clean white
cloth was thrown over the whole, to hide, from
the unhallowed gaze Of the vulgar, the former
"abcdes Of wisdom and Of wit" AS Hodge
was quietly trudging on his way TO town, he
was mel by two townsmen, who, Sunday tore
noon as it was, were, much 10 their own dis
grace, somewhat elevated with liquor. These
mcn resolved TO have some sport with the SER
want, and, walked up to him, inquired what he
had got so neatly covered up in his basket on
a Sunday forenoon. "What's that to you?" re-
piled The servant-man. swell let us see"
rcioined the men. Upon which one Of them
snatchcd the cloth from off the basket. The
Gogotha was instantly revealed 10 their STAR
tied. sight. "a murderer" calculated one, his
hair Standing on end, "likc quilts upon the fret
fnl porcupine " "a resurrectioner, resurrec-
tioner!" exclaimed The other, equally alarmed.
In vain did the poor fellow protest that he was
neither murderer nor resurrectionist. The
men, convinced that he was either ore or the
other, Immediately took him into custody, and
conveyed him and his portable Golgotha to the
neighboring village. They soon found the
Dogberry Of the place, TO whom they stated
the very suspicious circumstances under which
they had arrested the prisoner, and exhibited,
to the terrified sigh, of the constable, the fine
ly polished souls which the basket contained.
The scrving-man told the affrighted constable,
that ii was all a mistake; that he was Nr.
IS servant; that he knew nothing OF the
SOULS being in the basket, but lie was sure
that they had been come honestly by. The
jealous constable, who had, by this time, re-
covered from the fright into which the sight
Of the SOULS hau thrown him, disbelieving the
story of the unuckly serving-man, conveyed
him TO the village bridewcll, where he was
locked up, and left there in solitude to muse on
the curious scrape into which set OF empty
souls had brought him. After being impri-
soned for somr hours, he contrived TO get man
to carry verbal message 10 his master, stating
10 him he peril in which the contents OF the
basket had placed his faithful servng.m and
requesting him 10 cndeavor 10 release him from
dnrance vile. Indignant at the treatment which
his servant had experienced from men whose
he ads were as brainless as the SOULS which
their hands seized, the master fastened TO the
mansion Of ncighborng justice, to whom he
related the facts Of the case. The worthy ma
gistrate, to HON Gases are familiar, but who
had never heard Of such case as this before,
was highly amused by the recital; and said,
that nothing could more clearly show the dam
gerous tendency of the phrenologic art than
the peril into which il had bro't the poor wait
iRg-man. An order was instantly despatched
10 the village Dogberry to discharge the man
whom he had incarcerated on suspicion Of be.
ing murderer or resurrectIonist. l he order
was obeyed and he was discharged according
ly The SOULS were then repacked with pious
care, and reached, without any further inter
ruption, the abode OF the learned professor
The mans master afterwards insisted upon the
fellows who had seized him making an apology
for their conduct and thus ended the adventure
of the empty SOULS.