Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1826-01-17
TUESDAY, JANUARY II, 1926.


We copy the following amusing history OF a
Bag of Cotton, from the second number Of new
paper which has been recently established IN
Liverpool, under the title of " The Liverpool
Albion" The object sfthe writer will be easi!
perceived. The late sre ula,ions in cotton, will
not be soon forgot either in Liverpool or in this
country. The various hands through which
such description Of merchandise passes by
those operations which the specializing man
sets agoing, are no less curious than true. l he
author Of the present sketch writes with spirit
and point. He appears to have some knowledge
of the Southern States, but it is evidently sec
oad hand. We have detected few mistakes,
which an eye witness of Charleston never could
have made 1t WILL however, amuse our mer-
camille readers, as well as others. AS we re-
ceive regular files Of The Liverpool Albion,
(Which by the way is a well conducted and in
teres,ing iournal,) from which it is taken, I'VE
shall continue the publications. Ed Nat. Adc.
HISTORY OF BAG OF COTTON.
Written by HseE
INTRODUCTION.
1t NAV seem strange, that Bag Of Cotton,
which has always been treated and spoken Of
as an inanimate substance, totally devoid even
Of sensation. should suddenly appear endowed
with faculties resembling those Of rational
being, and venture to submit to the world a
brief account of its birth, as well as various par
ticulars of its individual history Some persons
will regard the phenomenon as miraculous;
others will deem it altogether incredible; whilst
third class, at the same time that they ac-
knowledge the singularity of an occurrence so
contrary all past and present experience, vii,
with true philosophical acumen, and 10 display
the profundity Of their own ingenuity, edeavor
to trace an event so rare and so surprising to
its cause.
Under these circumstances, and In order TO
prevent much valuable time and talent being ex-
pended on the inquiry, my readers may expect
thai should reveal 10 the world the manner in
which |, poor and insignificant Bag of Cot
ton, became endowed with the wonderful facul-
ty Of narrating, in plain and Ineligible Ian
puage, my early history, as well as the great
events Of which have been a spectator, and in
MANY Of which have not been an insignificant
actor. Such expectations are, in candor must
allow extremely reasonable The world has
an undoubted right to know all the particulars
which may have the power 10 communicate
on this interesting subject. But am compell-
ed. mos, reluctantly, to confess, thatl have not
any information oh the subject to communi-
cate am, upon my honor, unable to give a
satisfactory account Of the manner In which
became possessed of the faculty OF writing
Like the miraculous endowments which many
human beings boast of posse ssing, | suppose
that il is the gift Of some superior being, com
municated TO me for the express purpose OF
warning, by means OF my personal history,
mankind to avoid the perils which TOO often
surround them in the eager pursuit OF CONNER
cial gain An ass, l have heard it said, was
once miraculously endowed with the power of
speech TO reprove the madness of prophet OF
the Most High And may not suppose, that
have been gifted with the power of observa-
ton, and hearing, and writing, for the purpose
of showing the danger of mercantile specula
ton. and the mischiefs too 10 which il too gives
birth!
After this candid confession of my ignorance
, on a subject so interesting to mankind, and
abor,ive attempt to unravel the mystery, |
mus, crave the kind indulgence Of my intelli-
cen, readers, if | should, in the course Of the
ensuing narrative, show any deficiency in the
grammatical niceties of style, or palpabe igno-
rance of the affairs Of the world. My blunders
in grammar will be readily pardoned, when
confess, with more candor than many OF the
persons through whose hands have passed
would exercise, that never enjoyed the advan-
tages of educa:ion. / am, Notwithstanding the
mutations which | have undergone, but a
THING. Ihave, during the most important and
interesting period Of my life, had little inter
course with rational beings; and that little has
not inspired me with any veiy exalted opinion
either Of their wisdom or their prudence. But
enough by way preface. shall now proceed
to give an account of my birth and parentage.
CHAPTER L.
was born in the year 1924, in the vicinity
Of the city of Charleston, in South Carolina.
The Sun was my father and the Earth was my
mother. Being of a delicate constitution when
first beheld the light Of heaven, was cherish
ed with great care. l had to contend against
the weeds and grass which grew thickly around
me, and which threatened TO choke me by their
insidious embraces; but the care Of my sable
nurses eradicated my enemies, and relieved me
from their baleful presence. No sooner, how
ever. had been delivered from the machina-
lions ofmy fellow vegetables, than another and
a much more formidable enemy attempted to
DESTROY me. This was the frost, which. being
unusually severe for the season, had nearly
nipped me in the bud. Thanks, however, to a
kind and gracious Providence, which watches
tha md