The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1826-11-16


some years been saeaaS of the new
school Of philosophy, founded by Gall
and Spurzhcim. A>tor my uncle, Tim
oihcus Noddle, commonly called Tim
Nod, | should as SOON have expected 10
produce gold from the philosophers
stone, as TO extract any thing very
bright orylluable from his head but il
seems | have been mistaken. That
same head, globular rs il IS, and depre-
ciatcd as il has been by the minitated,
into the tribe Of JolterS, is asccrtained
10 belong TO one Of the primary orders
into which human skulls have been clas-
| sllied by the s1stematisine uaturali>ts of
the aforementioned school there are
certain proubcrauccs in (which cnti-
tied it to rank side by side with the
mead Of Memnon--just as the claws of
! the mouse entitled il to rank in thesame
class as the elephant. Right proud is
Timothy of hi, organization and far
be it from me 10 lesson it in his eyes, or
to diminish that thanl>luncss which he
feels towards Providence for having
been 50 bounliiul to HIM in BRAIN on
~ censnrc the scctarlan spirit which his
faith in phrcnology has produced, and
the illibcral judgment which il induces
him To form of the characters of others,
from survey Of their pcricraniums.
Whether he is profound in the SCI
ence, it rests not with me t. decide bnt
this know, il furnishes him with gol-
den rules to estimate all persons with
whom he has any dealings Some time
ago he was solicited for his interest at
The ensuing clcstion by a blunt oblatc-
headed candidate ofuncdmmon reason
inc powers and insupcrable c0rontcry :;
but, though my uncle conceded with
him in policies, he refused him natly on
finding that he wanted the organs of
perseverance and combmivenesy, without
which he declared, 10 man could be a
stanuch wing nay, he went further, and
accused HIM, in his own mind, of sly
propensity to toryiSm and corruption,
from perceivlng that the organs Oh tue
right side Of the head we've more de
yeloped than those on the left, or oppo-
sitlon side, especially those of locality
and acqoi-itivcness, from which heinfcl
ed love of place and pension Ills
idea Is, thai the minister selects his
minions by this rule, and these hold thcir
offices under him in capitc, their organs
doing lealty, like the vas,als of IA baron,
for Tie honorS conferred upon the head.
He wlsel y observes thai there was more
meaning in the name Roundheads than
has been yet explained by historians !;
that the Use of the axe and guilIotinc is
dcdaclblc from some traditional account
which must have descended To our an
ccstors, of the head being the seat of
mind, or the responsible part in proof
of which, and Of the high antiquity of
phrenology, he refers you to Homcr's
most craniological description of tie
head 'ot Thcrsltos; and sums up his
panegyric by alIussious to sacred author
tiles, and to the winged heads Of the
cherubS which decorate our old church,
oS. With this hieh vencration Of the
science no one will wonder that my un-
Gle should desert his parish church, on
discovering that the rector's head was
not othordoX, whatever might be his
doctrine; nor, that he should dismiss
his servants for n-coniormity to his no.
tons OF a good head. Some time ago
he turned off his butler, and being resol-
we'd TO deal tair y and frankly with the
world, he gave him the following charac-
ter, upon the faith Of which | immcdi-
ately engaged him, without understand
inc more Of his hieroglyphics, than that
they refer 10 the size ofpaIticular deyel-
opments - ! certify that John Salvage
has lived ten years in my service, with
out once mourning blame Of any sort;
hut, on application Of the callipcrs, /
find, 4,y. 10, nh, Y. III. there
fore discharge him. DC. S'e.
But his sagacity in detecting similar
blcmiSheS extends even lower down
than to his domcstics; by applying
lootrule to the head Of his bay gclding,
old CutaI, he found the interval be-
tween his ears to be two lines and half
greater than the ordinary Dimensions in
horses ofhis quality and aye. Thi, was
decisive of vice aud obslinacy. Cmtal
was consequently sold to Paddingron
coach driver; and being ono day dashed
most furiously, gallopcd off at full speed,
and the coach coming in contact with a
broad wheeled wagon HAT blocked up
tho passage at the turnpike, was Upset,
TWO Of the passenger. killed, and most OF
thcm badly huft. On that occasion,
though the driver was fined and iinpri>-
oncd, it was clear to my uncle that the
fault lay in Curtal's organization; and
he never failed to congratulate himself
upon having disposed Of him 50 Judi
ciou,ly and sea>onably. In the same
way, Mrs. Nodes white poodle was
banIshod for bad organic structure and
some months after. nv uncle read of n