Literary cadet, and Saturday evening bulletin. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1826-1827, 1826-11-04
oMMUNfCATIoNs.
FOR THE LITERARY CADET.
TRAVELS OF q TRoGLoDYTE,
CHATTER 2.

"And what have you seen, MIR. Troglodyte, so
wonderful, that you presume to trouble the pub
hc with the aarration Nothing sir-a very tri-
debut ifyou have patience, we wW see--won-
ders--I All not one of them, Sir, who so fortE
like lineal descendant of the knight de la Mancha
III search of adventures and leave their readers at
home to listen to their tales in the lump when they
leturn.-No Sir--I am going to carry my readers
with .no--a right jolly and boisterous company
will we lorm-and if a troop of blue devils should
dare assail us in our career, one flourish of this
goose quill shall send them camperins to Acheron
But, Sir, must not leave the good old Granny
Gray at the top of the stairs. We will be under
way directly-but | must have one word with the
Dame--else, pcradventure, depart on wild
goose chase, with pocket as light as my head
Granny Gray, are my shirts in order for wear?-
Law SUI. why surely, child Do you ask that
question in my house Of Saturday But why
are you after clean shirts at this time O. the week?
Of all things of the world-did you not turn
your shirt yesterday Yes, my dear Granny,-but
can turn ii many times more, before the world
will discover whicl. j. the soled sidethree times
and then out, they say--and besides, am about TO
make toar--so you sec My aunt had began
already to raise her nose at the close of the aiore
said exclama,ions--it turned up a triae naturally
probably hal been 4" a very pretty nose in its day
as Wolfus says-but now in its t,ciiight-tc
pursue The metaphor--it seemed Of a mcnacing as
pect--the specs had ridden it so long, that they
had worn it into quite saddle-like shape. When
spoke of tour, she had raised her nose--she now
raised her spectacles, and one eye expressed some
slight degree Of astonishment-the other behaved
itself as glass-bead always shoud-to.d no tales
out Of school--hang me, n there was not an air Of
philosophical resigac!!on about it, that Zeno might
have envied. | am going 10 Virginia, says l.
Trginia and what will you see there ?"-Not
knowing, can't say--can tell you better when re-
turn. "So"-said she-"you first kill my poor
Tab'--here she held up corner of her clean
apron to her eye-'twas the glass one-"you de-
prive me Of all society but your own-and then
leave in the evening of life, to go down to the
grave alone" My auIt never dealt in the pathe-
TIC, save when Tabs memory came in review, and
probably cared not three straws, whether she went
10 the grave alone or in good company-my dear
madam-that is not within the scope of my inten-
tions. shall come to New England again, when
other wild geese return-and in the mean time
you are yet hae--I hope ] may see you married
again--you are surely much younger than many OF
my acquaintance, who will SO TO the altar this
thankssiving--and besides, have promised you
another beautiful pussy-cat-bousht pair of NIT
tens for it, TO prevent any unlucky catastrophe
and-you know the old proverb-" a cat in gloves
catches no mice"-of course, danger Of her
proving for eyes. There was quite as much smart
as tickle in my compliment-but | knew whom !
had to deal with--my aunt's maxim was never
TO throw away the cream, because the milk was
sour'--and with her, one kind word was ever sure
discharged Pity the world had not all drank US
deeply of the milk of human kindness, as Granny
Gray ~ knew should gain her good will for my
voyage-I was sure ofit-the corner of her apron
fell-thcre was something like smile struggling to
show tscfthrough the wrinkles which had gather
ed in rigid folds around her lips and seemed to set
n,irih at defiance, even in its own domicil-it
was the Goth and Vanda in the palace of the Ca-
sars. had gained my pont-the preliminaries
were settlcd--nothing left but to adjust the par
ticulars of the treaty upon this basis "Wilful
would, have his own way" said she-"l doubt
if your wits are not gone a wool gathering.
Virginia but after all, it can be no worse
than Captain Bobtail's expedition in the last
war--who-" marched his all down the hill
and then marched back again''--so make out an
account OF what money you want-you shall have
it with my blessing. blessings on thy kind heart
Granny Gray-said ], as she closed the door after
her-thou art as generous ofthy scraps OF poetry
as of thy cash--the old lady had paid my compli-
ment with interest-for Captain Bobtai's character
had aot the least emulaton-the simile was most
unsavory--and thought saw chuckle of satis-
faction in one Of her eyes--I can't say which-as
she repeated it, But DO her injustice-my aunt
Gray was no wit--the joke was mere accident
and the chuckle an imaginary phantom ofmy own
jealousy-vexed to find myself for once the jokee'
How often have dunderpates set up for wits, upon
the credit of less tolerable bunders than tha. OF the
| old housewife AYE, and made money by it.
| Now advise every man, woman and child, who
are about taking journey, to communicate the af-
,ar TO few confidential friends that they may call
| 70 advise as TO its expediency-l did so, and the
conseaaence was, a most unaccountable synpa-