Literary cadet, and Saturday evening bulletin. [volume] (Providence, R.I.) 1826-1827, 1826-10-28
CoMMuNICATIoNs.
FoR TUE LITERARY CADET.
TRAVELS OF "A TROGLODXTE,
CHAPTER ],

ed Young barbecucd rhnoceros for my breakfast and
had old one served up, by way Of grill, in the
mg. g."--PEREGRiSE FORESTER.
But my dear fellow! this is nothing to what We
| have in Virginia Twas q dead shot-so made
bow, and gave up the ghost ofmy argument. When
Ihad retired TO my closet--Clo,a exclaims the
reader-I thought Troglodyte like a coney, had
| his dwelling among rocks. Noquestons, friend, or
| you will make short story most outrageousy te-
dious. And now beg leave. once for all, to state
formally, explicitly and Of ali
the vices of this vicious sphere, hold that loa,h
| .ome itch Of curiosity in the most antipathetc alb
| horrcnce-and so help me my grey goose quill
by the way, il is uhife one-Iw not here answer
any more impertinent queries than choose to pro-
pound to myself; and in this case, if please
to be sriy, have undoubted right, according to
present scribblins etiquette After had retired TO
my closet, absorbed myself, for seven and halt
hours in profound, analytical, and philosophical
meditation. Deuce take it says to me--a man,
it seems, can know nothing of his own country, in
| this enlightened age, without having sailed round
the world t,rice-once forward, and once backward,
to see how it is situated. Why, look yc Mr.. Tro.
guess, that our darling la.sics in New England
pretty, as sylph-ike, angelic and heavenly, and
| all that as one should in summers day, i'll any
subunary ball room-be the other where it might
and pop tho fellow was down upon
with the whole Ancient Dominion! Now man
that has nothing geee to say OF the black eyes anu
blue eyes which twinkle among his native hills
puttng out of the question green and yellow peep
| ers-as well as blue beads-ought to be banished
seventy miles north of Umbagog-aye, throtted
with zephyr, or have reticule punched down his
| clownish throat with the Dig end--which is it p
| Of cossy bone" ~When a man is determined,
his mind is made up" says JFoyfus on Tactics
"a book containing all that is wounjy or wonder
| iul se witty in the sixteen hundred depart
| neuts OF fhuman knowledge and which ! recon-
| mend most earnestly to all those dunderpates who
wish to grow wise by any other lessons than
those whicn are lingering round the birch of thnt
old vinegar-faced dame, Experience. am resolv-
ed says land ], says myself--so let US be off in
stantly
lopened The door of my den--den and closet are
| all the same in Greek-and bawled-Granny
Gray. Granny Gray II heard the old ladys easy
chair rumbling like distant thunder, do~n 6elom,
| and was morally certain she must have heard me.
| The good woman is something deaf-but bawled
at the top of my voice-and now, if she meets with
no extra mishaps she will be here in half an hour
precisely. In the meantime, you shall know who
| Granny Gray i.-not that there is any particular
| necessity for it--but have determined to make
| you acquainted, and we shall have better op-
porunty. This delecable piece of old furniture
| is a grand aunt of mine-in the paternal or ma
| ternal sde-don't know exactly whIch-and care
not a straw. never puzzle my head about gene
alogies in thi. democratic age-'tis ari.tocrnti-
cul and God forbid should disturb the ashes of my
ancestors for such an unworthy purpose. She is
| my great aunt--and great indeed is she-she
weighs srteen stone. good and this is not her best
quality though have put it down first. Granny
| Gray was belle in olden time-I have it from the
| best authority--herselE She Hour.hed about the
close of the Revolution-was in New York at the
evacuation by the British--made more captives
than Gates took at Saltwater, and patriotically
sent the amorou. redcoats home to their fast-an-
chored isle" to while away the remainder Of their
days. in writing and singing sonnets to the eye
brows of the Beautiful Yankee-as they called her.
| She has danced with one Of Wa.hingtons Aids
| Airted with Lafayette-received marked attentions
from a handsome Polish officer whose name she has
wisely forgotten-and fnally--as many coquet-
| Ssh belle since that time has been forced 10 do
married, late in life, plain, rough, New England
| bush whscker, with small farm in country town
who had sonse enough to know that an old blood
horse is better than young liey, and that disap-
pointed beauty makes the best wife. She brought
him no fortune--but being a tall proper woman
she seized the helm of domestic affairs with avdity
welded pots and kettles with adrotness and was
matchless for butter and cheese. Yea, she once
went so far to declare that the family escutcheon
should be surmounted with three new DEVICES
chuyn dash, milking stool, and pair of cheese
tongs-rampant, couehani, ct REGARDED After Gaf
Eers demise, she was deprived by the unanimous
consent of the neighborhood, Of her title, Dame
Gray-and invested in form, by the same omnipo-
tent power, with the more grave and venerable ep-
pellative-Granny. She is pretty much indePen-
dent Of the world-and though | say it--ss kind
hearted an old lady as smsckd parchment lips
over pumpkin pye--for she has given me her
,,hole estate by deed-odged as an escroD--and