The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1826-04-27
hfATRIAiCNY


| Tho following humorous letter is
extracted from the New Eng
land Galaxy. We invite spccuIl
turs In matrlmony to II perusal
Of il. GStCn.
SUGAR NIL, Oct. 81, 1926.
! DEAR NED-What. in conscience
Ned. do YOU supposed induced me
IL get married! really wish that
| knew-ior besides the pleasure |
should have in telling YOU. 1t would
be IA most particular qualification IL
myself. | think thai must have been
crazy 81 bewite he'd 10 get married AT
thirty, aud NIL for love! how colld /
be such Ounce. TANK this to be
the most dangerous place for bachr-
Tors that was ever seen. None have
been known to survive, thai trusted
themselves long IN this cursed town.
+ Don't come here, \ ed. If you want
to remain IA bachelor. II you do You
will be inevitably shipwrece Led on
the shoals OF matrimony you might
rs well undertake 10 navigate The
Norwegian whirlpool. Il You me
here you are sure 10 be sucked in,
and all the cables in Chr,strndom
can't bring you up.
Ii | thought you ever had the blue
devils. ar any Other devils. or any
thing else TO make you completely
and perfectly miserable. would
spend no time IN relating my ealami
ties ; bat refer you To the worst part
oil your own experience. a. \ mode
ot estimating nine. Bu',.H n,'yrl.
Will be YOU are still me zhing
bachelor, eternall Y ou H.. = SIDE
Of Fortunes wheel, VIII II pad
ding at the bottom. = - slid
free rs the birds of 49, = the
doe of the forest, -. D and.
fettered q confnc $685. mn
ed maletact0r.-. a ne,
for won't bear ii. /. to
pity me. won't e.. ?. af-~aa't
say word to me.
tell you, Ned, you would not
know me. Why, how do You think
| look since am married I'll tell
you =; my gay and cheerful looks are
gone-ny rosy cheeks arr gpne--
my flesh IL s0ne--my health and
spirits are gone--my iine clothes are
+ gone-my money is gone--aIl gone,
Ned, except my wlfe-she lives. aud
will live when you aud | are dust
and ashes. But, what do you think
I've got for all I've lost I've gOl a
face as long as your arm, and white
Dating the yellow, and shade q
two of brown,) az this paper. I've
got broken constitution aud "A bro
ken heart-~l'ye got in debt-lve
got to be = poor miserable devil
I've gothic, Won't tell you what
I've got Tor wife in this sentence.
But What do you think I've married
I'll tell you who thought | mar
ried. thought married tall ell
egant genteel girl. about seventeen,
with IA dark blue eye and beautiful
face her manners easy and grace
ful ; her conversation gay q sprie ht-
", and her disposition the best IN the
world ; uncommonly neat in hcrper
son and perfectly acquainted aud
competent to manage all the d0mes-
tic affairs ola family. Industrious
aud contented generous IN her
friendship doing favour With a.
laCrIty, + revenglng an injury with
rcuctanCe--a lover Of home, and
more anxious to see little circle Of
warm hearted friends happy around
her, than to dash and dazzle aud
dissipate her time with tho heartless
mob. thought her incapable of
envy, and was sure that she hated
tatting, Sc andal and calumuy. he
lieved all this and much more, and
vet hesitated to ask her 10 be mine.
And now for once, Ned, guess, like
a yankee, as you are, what VAS the
reason. Your never Can---i must tell
you. Thought her much too good
for me that so precious q piece OF
pore elain could never be made TO u
mite with such a coarse, milk-pan
making bit Of clay as myself. She
had 50 many PROJECTIONS. and was
conscious Of 50 many faults, that |
shudder to think how her tender
heart would bleed, when she found
how much she had oycrrated my
good qualities. got over the diff
Guilty by thinking | might improve ;