The Massachusetts spy, and Worcester County advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1825-1831, 1826-01-25


20 human happiness? Who ever hoped
upon an empty stomach +? Who ev-
er despaired upon a full one J? Was
Misery ever painted with plenty to
eat, or content with short allowance
Happiness aud Hunger are as incompati-
bic as fire and water. Grieving and
feeding, rejoicing and fasting, cannot be
predlcated of each other. Either a
lnan's sorrow destroys his appetite. or
his appetite does away his sorrow. In
all cases it is the stomach which is the
seat, cause, and origin of all. Here
Grief first seized with his paralyzing
hand here Despair hovers with his
ebon wings; here too Joy first smiles,
and Hope lights up her ethereal torch.
No man, who has eyes to see, can
have been long in the world, without
finding thousand proofs of our funda-
mental principle Go TO dinner party,
for instance, and contemplate the fune-
raj gloom which pervades The drawing
room; your host and hostess salute you
in state of anxious suspense; the
guests drop in and look at the clock,
one. after another, stiff, formal, and Ger
em6nious; and hover about rubbing
their hands, and looking at the pictures
If there are any-into the fire or out of
the windows. if there are not. A few
words are dropped about the news; the
weather of the day, the week, and the
season is tortured in every possible
shape. Some mecurial fellow, perhaps,
who has fortified himself with a one
O'Clock lunch, rattles away for few
moments, as if be were among men with
stomachs as comfortable as his own he
might as well talk to statues. He is
chilled, after few efforts, down to the
zero of the atmosphere 10 which he
finds himself. A dead silence succeeds
to a few efforts the conversation has
made TO keep its head above water.-l
A black head pops in at The side-door
every face brightens; but not is
some whispered message of distress of
Betty Cook. Suspense becomes impa-
thence, impotence agony. The folding
doors recede, and the scene changes.-I
The countenance expands, and indicates
that calm serenity of expectation which
perVades the stomachic region. Now
us the sober certainty of waking
bliss ;"-and who, after the silent pc
Eiod of enjoyment which follows, would
recognize, in the noisy, good-natured,
satisfied party at the table, the impa-
tent, sulIen, and frlgid group which
lowered around the drawiug-room
Many a man, as well as myself, has
been, in the course of his lite, by some
mysterious dispensation of fate, caught
at a tea-par,y alone amidst circle of
ladies. He only who has experienced,
can conceive of the horrors of this posi-
ton. Every faculty is tied up, every
limb paralyzed, the tongue refuses TO
obey It's office, as if be were enclosed
within the magic ring of wizard
Awkward lspers-distant nod--gig-
giles half forced, half smothered--looks
oblique and direct half inviting and half
repelIing, at the forlorn biped, as if he
we're some strange animal imprisoned
among them, from the sum total of the
attractions of this female community
But how does the vapor of the fascInat-
ing decoction, when it fills the room,
warm and animate all. Wit, wisdom,
and scandal go round with the tea, and,
as its potent influence extends, the COM
pauy take up their own characters, and
take down their neighbors'. Even the
poor masculine animal, who has strayed
among them, feels the benefit of its en-
chantment; cold looks and frigId re-
CARDS melt before it; the chain is taken
from the spirit, the spell from his
tongue he begins to feel his true dig
pity and importance and he stands
among them, as he is, the admiration of
the sex-du!ce decus coIumengue.