The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1826-09-04

Imha
weak, When the body is curved and the
hars are sllheI.d WITH the frosts nf many
Writers, Patent Medicines, however b..
praised by their insentors. and eula0 Zed
by the gratitude Oft certifying snfr,rrs
hay may have relieved 4 cured, have LOST
their redeerninG virtue, aud nav M pow
- 10 snatch - from the gasp of the grim
monster. Ii, ind ed, this glazing defect
ran he obNlair0-lf some remedy can
be found far old age, why. Thea We may
Z on merit, rnongn, laughing al care.
and mocking me efforts ut thu raw head
aud blnndv bonrso which, under the name
Of Death, was wont SO tprrlbl, 10 alarm
our gra dfathprs and gfandmnthrrs. H.
! by some means, we could Turn the old
folks YOUNG, whenever thy grew wearied
of the form aud features that Nature gave
them al lheir bnlh, 81 which thry may
have obtained by the frequent application
Of this re.Hilyng y ocess, then we should
apply, with oxidation, tue various RENE
dies whcl y nnly have temporary .f.
feet, and laugh TO scorn all the !" ills that
flesh IL heir 10" We sincerely hope.
therefor, mai some of the skilfal and in
g.plous disciples of Esculapins will forth
wI,h employ their Inventive faculties IN
n.therdnce Of this ne plus ultra in Mate.
ria Mrdica. How glorious and lasting
would be- their reward, If success should
crown their labors Wrnkled and bald
head, d men, s,ges and -lmpletons, should
rop'e firth from this regenrrallng process
bo"mlug Apolus. or curly -pated Cnplds
at least ; aud toothless aud mario" less
! old womeo, con, erted into blushing Wa
donas, the " rich blood running riot IN
tt,elr veins and mantIng then cherks)
should 10 logger DE condemned to the
hard necessity of throwing aside the crust
for the Crum6, N pity to the tenderness OF
their bl edIng gums, or 10 preserve unln-
lured, as mrmen,o of their earlier and
better days, the few half-worn stunps
which the Soy the of Time had heedlessly
| passed by, OF compasslonaiely left. On,
"c0nsunmdtlon most de.outly to be wish
ed" Aud we know of but one reason
Why efforts have not been heretofore
made, or if they have been made, why
they have not been successful 10 prevent
or rerned, the terrible evils To which we
have alluded, aud which alone mankind
need lear, IN the present advanced state
If Medical knowledge, which is, Of course,
but little short of perfection. 1t is the mere
d1llly with which large portion of man
kind, pretending to be enlightened II wise,
lsteo to the details of the wonderful cures
made by medicines which they are pleas
ed to stismai,ze by the title at "qadck,"
AID the nnaccoantable obslinacy which
they manifest in preferrlng regularly
bred VI. D." TO Natures Physicians,
.hom they ridIcur as Steam Doctors,
Root Doctors, ignorant Preitnders, aud u
Their such Expressive explosives !. unlIlthe
whole world shall be convinced that Nd
ture is the z eat teacher-that her ample
i,ases unfold 10 the discerning and dis
terminating mind the sources of disease as
we'll as the means cure-and that those
who draw their wisdom from that rich
ii, Id, and not those who seek it in the
rrring aud contradictory doctrines laid
down in the books, are only qualified 10
trace the causes and check the ravagrs of
illness, we aay expect to see Our fel-
low morlals subjected To pains, fevers, and
all the numerous evils which infrst the
world and, at last, after writing IN the
sgonips OF mortal dissolution, conveyed to
the regions Of the dead 1t behooves us,
therefore, to employ none but Quach
Do. tors, and bny nothing bat Patent Ne
dicines, If we would wish to conquer dis
ease, and render ourselves lmpenetrable To
the shafts OF Death