The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware advertiser., 1826-04-20

sick, as my old friend DR.. Letsom used to
say, why Lets 'em. Those who are re-
ally sick must have doctors. And those
who are partly sick, or fancy they are sick,
follow their neghbors' example. "QuaHs
req, tails grer." There's sort of fashion
in the thing, after all. Fashion, like avarice,
increases by what feeds it. Or, like Fame,
as the poet hath it, "vires acquirite undo"
These ponderous tones which surround me,
from the Father of PAysic up to Machaon
and Podalirius, il thcy ever wrote any thing,
and from Hippocrates down to Galen, and
the elegant latinity of the "De nediciaa Ii
6ri octo' of Colslis, and all learning Of the
spruce c-tavos of modern times, from Para
CELSIUS, the acme of impudence, and prince
of quacks, "qui hrimnm su6ecW Mericuri-
nn medicines" to Ramsbottom, and Dr.
Conway, if crammed into the vacant cells
of the pericranium, never could have fur
nished me with such run OF practice as
this '..febr,s nientis fofntaris."
Here, Tim, put these sixteen visits made
this morning into the Dooms-day book, be-
fore the pencil marks get rubbed from the
back of the letter. Must be off again in
| jiffy Scarce time to swallow a dish OF cot
fee, take off my beard, and put on clean
neck-cloth. Never go into ladies' sick cham
Der with long beard on. Young lady's
squeamish, frightened at black beard. Old
ones wiser, entertain for it a certain respect
See whether Morton has sent my horse
back from stable. Poor patient beast that
bear'st so oft unmoved sthe peltings of the
pitiess Storm" we'll dost thou earn thy
quick swallow'd half-chewed mess OF oats.
Oh! that thy legs were brass,
s.as Frar Dacon's noddle was"
or as the beasts that Daniel saw in his
| dream.
Who rings the door-bell so violentlyi See
| who's there, Tim.
Sir! Mrs. Scroggins, Miss Bella Scroggins,
and live of the other Hiss Scrogginses are
all sick of the Influenza, and desire your at
tendance instantly the servant,
Tim, / obey their commands instantly
Head sof ppocrates-Scroggins = what a
name Miss Bella, too. OH bella horida
6eiia."
Here Tim, make me another pound OF
placbeo, man as fast as thou canst. Season
it little more with essence of pitchfork-
that is, essence of red pepper. Good tor
stomach. Prevent gastric juices gnawins
too hard. Furnish them with something to
bite, and take edge off. Like viper eating
file. Mrs. Scroggins complained last time
prescribed for her, my medicine was too in
ert. and feared 'pothecary had made mistake
in pounding. Madam. says I, always safe
to be on prudent side. I pounds my OWL
med cine self Attend self to selection Of
all the materials. All profit, Ma'am, or al.
most. Besides, can't depend on them
Great deception in drugs. Quality of more
consequence than quantity. Ought always
to come first among categories of Aristotle
Always made practice to skim, as it were
the cream of drug. Scoop out pith Of it.
like marrow out of marrow-bone, or like in
side of pine apple cheese, leaving the rind
and coarse parts to your measurers and
~eighers, ycur pill-'pounders, and your
quantum stuffs
Feb. 10.-night Here am I, haunted, and
worried, jaded, and tagged, find at last e
brief respite within the walls of my study
Certainly Mrs. Scroggins is sensible wo
man. Else she'd never have selected me fol
her physician, that's fat. Seven daughters
and all my patients. By my hat-bottom't
) wig that is to be, that's bonxs. Oh Johan
mes Raptista Van Helmont' second Daniel
a very Solomon vert thou, when thou utter
est in thy Ortus Medicine, .'Proh.er ute
rum sokum muller i'd guo1 est. Cap. de
Sure Duumviratus, fol 7sa, Editio Amstero-
dami, Apud Ludovicum Elzevirium, 1913
A1en-Always quote chapter and verse
!, Gets one credit for learning. Makes folks
believe you're thorough, and read books
through. Devil a-bit have this. But that's
nothing to noboddy. Surely, ! say, Mrs
Scroggins is fine woman. Seven daughters
and all my patients Long may they live
to be so. Well she has paid, and without
sinking, her share of the tax for the propa-
cation of the human race. Every fine wo-
man owes debt to posterity which she is
bound to cancel as far as she is able. -fS
far as she is able, say because 'ad pana
aut imhossibiia non cogu ler." as my friend
Counsellor Doublefee, says. Every. fine Eyo-
man should have seven daughters. Fine
times then should we have, in mending the
crack'd and keeping in repair the brittle,
porcelain. What shall the clay, and the
dirt, the pots stone, the cling stone, the pitch
stone, and the pudding stone, alone furnish
the materials tor building up and repairing
the edifice of human society, while the kao-
lin and petunse. and all the carbonatcs oi
lime up to the stalactices of Antiparos, the
Jasper, the ague, and the precious stones
dra7u back from contributing their fair pro-
portion to the common duty of improving