The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1826-08-28

better than to repine at the DEGREES
of Providence. | resolved To bene-
hit by his instructions, and do honor
tn his memory. See how have
succeeded.
Ny first care was to get any
employment that was suitable To nv
sex-lt was an humble but il was a
reputable one. la em0uments were
scapiy-indrrd. it was with difficult
~ bare existence could be suppor.
ted.-Thcre is M one bat who would
feel this privation-bnt, t. one who
had been accustomed 10 every indul-
gence. It VAS great. But. all nov
happy were Those DAYS in compari-
son with such as have sacreeleh
them ! nay date the FIRST one III
misery IS that on WHICH fist saw
hIo, TOR whose happiness sacri-
feed all that was bright aud anna
bic IN my nat Ire From that lay
he Was every thug IL m. ii tlAt-
tered not-nor did he resort To those
means by which the purity OF o,r
sex is too frequently destroy d-he
took more cautious though sur
or ground. lie first lulled my heart.
that he might form it as he pleased.
lie entered into the scenes of nv
past life, and thought that | dis
cerned the full event of manly feel
ing displayed when he compassion
ed me on the reverse of my prospects.
In short, he made me believe that |
vas all to him and my own heart
told me his happiness was all tho't
worth living for. lie discovered the
sentiments entertained, and took
advantage of them. of
guarding them as IA sacred pledge.
that heart which he had sworn to
protect. he moulded 1t to his parpo-
SEES. and triumphrd in its weakness.
did not remain long un deceived
his real character began to display
itself. Fickleness aud lght- hrart-
edness. were nppermnSt. 1t WIS
impossible. thought. thtt could
have reposed my confidence on
thing that was combined with treach-
cry and IaIsehood. but such | found
to be the case. When he had depri-
we'd the poor object of every thing
that was estimable-when he had
plucked the flower of innncence, and
scattered its leaves abroad. he threw
away the stem as a thing that was
rank To the tDu h. aud l0athsome TO
the eye. Oh, what heavier punish
ment can woman have for her lrail-
ties, than that Of discovering thai he
for whom she has sacrificed all that
~ amiable in her nature, is the first.
The oery first, to despisc and ioathe
her FOR her wea ness. Ii was great;
but had severer trials found |
was deserted not only by the object
of my affections. but by all the
world besides. Reputation il flnw-
er that blooms but once--if it ever
fades, or is once plucked. tis gone
forever. There is no second spring
the first blast of winter destroys it.
| was soou abandoned by ala
thing disgraced and polluted. and no
one would own me. had but one
resource-infamy Or death.
Ny sense Of remorse was great.
bnt the love of life was stronger.
Desperation urged me througl, the
whirlpool of vice. 1t Is a mighty
current, whose course flows rapidly
forward but no friendly tide can
ebb the adventurer back. My ca
reer has been short, but how dread
ful Pleasure | never sought for
aud, for one error. whi~h at the time
committed | taught my heart to
think it was not much, have eXpe-
ricnCed all the horrors of guilty
conscience, the most ranking re-
morse, the slowest pain, aud the
prospects Of neyer-ending torture.
But | blame not him who has been
the cause of all M, he never could
have known how much | loved him,
or else he would never have
suffered the thing that doated on him
to be trampled IN as the refuse of the
world. Yet 50 it is and may you,
dearest lady, who have thus sccider.-
tally Witnessed the effects, often pon-
der on that which excited its com
mission. The world seens fast ia
ding from my eyes. Or, God who
has pleased to witt her who has
bandoncd thy ways with this pun
ishnent. grant that he who first
caused me to wander. MAY never
know the ,,ains, the agcnies. | feel /;
but rail ~ i'm thy merciiul goonupss,