Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1826-02-16

Scotch Economy, or the Profits Of The Retail
Trade in GiasgoiD.-The merry little Glasgow
bookseller, whom we (Telescope) have more
than once had occasion to mention in our pa
ges, and who, in his young days, was wont, as
he said, to worship the goddess OF health on
the top Of Cathkin braes, by leaping an hour at
a time over skipping-rope, gives rather odd
account TO our friend DR.. Jarvie OF the profits
Of a retail trade in his line:-"lndeed, Doctor,
it's but poor trade, the selling O. stationary;
III lust gle We sample o what sort O. trade
it is-what wi loss O. time, and what with vac
thing and what wi anither. muckle stuPit
sumph comes into the shop, an says, 'gle's !
bawbee's worth O. paper Is 1t post paper ye
want? Aye Is't lang paper or short paper,
eudeman, We want? % yes God bless me,
man, do We want it short or lang! "A no See,
man, is't this kline Of paper or that ye want!
sIlI TAX this, for it's the bigges: Wee', Doc
tor. We would think ane was doom wi the fal-
low, after a that fash, and mair nor hive min
utes lost; but na-he's at We yet Men that
men, he SAYS, haudin' out an aulG stump TO ye
thai the devil himsel' could scarcely men; and
when we've doom that, he follows II WI put
wee drap ink i that bottle Ye put ink L the
blockbead's bottle, a for naething, an sine ne
pokes out his great big horny ham, an says
sI'n thank We for wafer Now, Doctor, only
think o. that, a that fasherie, an sic loss O
time. forbye the wafer and the ink for naethins,
an a. abon, selling bawbee's worth O paper
A Good Syory, ,ohether true or no..-On Mon
day, during the run upon the banks in this
town. an elderly woman, who had exchanged
few notes for sovereigns, was proceeding on her
yay through the Market Place, counting them
over in her hands, when two young men, oo-
serving her, resolved to play OH hoax upon
her Accordingly, one OF them went to the old
lady. and began conversation, IN the course
ofwhich he told her, loud enough Tor his COM
panion to hear, who contrived 10 be passing al
The moment. that the Sovereign Bank ,cas broke.
Upon this the other person stopped, joined the
conversation, and taking out Of his pocket ten
soyereiyns. said he should be glad to get ten
.hillinps each for them. "Ten shillings! said
his companion, with apparent SURPRISE" would
not give you sxpence each for them. ~
Lord" exclaimed the panic struck ole lady, u
wonder whether could get my notes again.
"No," says one Of the wags, Gift they have heard
the news YOU won't; but, however you had bet
ter go and try" Upon this the old lady went
hack in breathless haste to ask TOR her notes "a
Gain. and received with Joy what few minutes
before she had been so anxious TO part with
Nottingham paper.
A gentleman lately took a bet that ne would
.,nse All the bells Of well-frequented tavern
in town 10 ring at the same PERIOD, without
.onch;rs, ope Of them, or even leaving the room.
This he accomplished by turning the stop-eoek
# the main eas-plpe, and involving the whole
;rr,.,es IN instant darkness In short period
the cIangour of bells rung from every room AND
box in the house, which gained him his bet, a
midst the general laughter and applause even
Of the LOSERS Glasga,o Chronicle.