The Litchfield County post., 1826-08-15
ROB'T. STEPTOE.
THE RACHEI.nR

am a bachelor, SAID my good friend
Frank Coldblood, to me, the day he at
tanned majority, ''and ! glory in the title;
l am free as air; no petticoat to controul
my actions, no woman to care for me, nor
70 be cared for by me.'' Ten years after
wards. said he, 81 am bachelor still,
thank Heaven!'' In,ten years more, he
cried, 81 am bachelor, so shall live.
and so shall 1 die s'tis noble and indie
pendent life - and, added he, "my good
friend Bob, Celibacy is glorioussl life; I
have opened an account in my sleger, .enti-
lied MGtssni0'ay. can now speak to frac-
ton on the subject: know it's happy
life; and marriage ruinous business,-it
would make amdn bankrupt in a year,
Well, to show you this clearly: to the
Credit of the account, have placed all
the endearing charms and attractions (spo-
ken ironically that the husband experien-
ces-wife, children, home, in sooth, every
happiness that the most blessed in wedlock
ever knew, but which,my dear Bob,I need
not particularize; my brave fellow you
can see the items by looking into the ac-
count itself, which is always at your SER
vice. Then sir, to the debt Ipost, (bra-
cling himself up, and speaking in self app
plAuding tone) wife, sick, cross, scolding,
&c. house cut Of order, servants quarrel
some and lazy, sc. meals too late and mis-.
erabiy cooked, &c. Children fighting by
day, and bawling bynight, disturbing ones
natural sleep, &c Madam dunning for a
new gown, miss fora now frock, &c. Young
master for hobby horse, old nurse for
higher wages, &c. No money; then the
whole crew weeping and wailing at the
cruellest and hardest hearted husband, fa-
Their, and master, in the whole world, sc.
Wifegr old and ugly, children disobe-
dent, cxtravagant, &c. Miss now in her
teens, must give blow out ); cannot afford
II, --sour looks. Master, out of his teens,
must have horse and sulkey Shave no
money; takes all have got or can muster,
to retire my own notes,-tell him he is sui
key enough already; then in faith, he gets
in mood like dutiful son, that he may
not belle his fathers speech. Madam wants
Miss to be INDUCED, and Master to have
his own way, like other gentlemen's sons
and daughters ;--the devil to pay mot
cent to appease the monarch of darkness.
The house turned up side down-the house,
hold mad land Gas must be reasonably ex-
pected furious SIR chaos is come a.
gain, "-and have not the potent spell
money to Bring all in harmony again
Thus, and thus, and thus went on my a.
mount when I added up my leger, I found
the sum total at credit as Owen would have
said, $165,75, and at the debit, 800, 1913,
| 90, leaving balance in favour of celibacy,
Of 800, 642, "a. One hundred thousand,
six hundred forty-two dollars, and twenty
four cents-no small deficiency, consider
ing the capital invested mo sir, / will
not enter into the speculation, but remain
as am, a blessed bachelor. 4 ann notlike
the hypocrites who preach one doctrine
and follow another mo sir, I"shall be an
independent and happy bachelor till dooms-
day, live SO long"
! A few years after this, met my old
friend Frank Coldblood, on my return
from my travels; "are you q bachelor still
Frankl'' He shook his head, and replied,
81 am, Bob, but don't glory in the title. :"
Sometime after met him again, Still
bachelor, Frankl" asked /. eyes sill"
replied he, with pale and sober coun-
tenace, am, but ! don't thank Heav-
lem"
The next time we met, put my old
question to him, "are you bachelor sulis"
q Alas sir ~ said he in a melancholy tone,
/" I am still a bachelor, but don'tthink It
4 such a noble and Independent life"
i met him again, md 20 my usual ques-