Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1826-02-21

horse skin gloves and white risbands--carried
an eve.plass-cried bravo! at the Theatre
threw aside their rustees fustees, "and were
"Every inch man."-Saakspswe.
Another year came round-another st. Val
eutine's day arrived, because il arrives every
wear: and another bachelors ball was given
This was infinitely more splendid than the first;
it was every thing that the triumvirates OF good
cheer, Simon, Mrs. Poppleton, and Abby Jones
could make it. 1t brought out an additional
number of ladies, because many candidates
were brought out who were kept in the last
year. 1t was considered prudent not to trust
Young ladies under certain age, in room
full Of bachelors. If the opinions Of the fair
had undergone some change in favor OF bache-
lors the preceding year, this year they stood at
the head of the calendar, and were considered
the most spirited citizens and kind fellows IN
the world-to be hereafter caressed, to have
the strongest cup Of tea, and the orownest piece
of toast; to have their way IN every tning, ana
never 10 beg twice for rompIing kiss. But
alas! ruin stared them IN the face-the TWO
balls, the fair candidates, the fattering enco.
miums, and the gracious condescension, paved
the way for an awful reverse; and OF the hume
rous committee employed in getting up these
balls, which were designed as mementos OF
single blessedness, there are not enough lett to
form a quorum, or to mount corporals
guard.
But start not, gentle reader, they are not
dead-only married! and the most memorable
among them, those who fattened upon celibacy
and who prided themselves upon lying alone
in comfortable winter night-those who had
become members for life Of the club, the very
pillars of the bachelors balls, have all been
caught by the skirts-all fallen into the snare
set by Hymen, and even at the moment, when
the printers and devils are throwing OFT these
sheets, the heartless rogues are snugly. repos-
ing in the very arms Of those 10 whose fascina-
tons at the balls they fell sacrifice.
s'In Adams fall We sinned ALL"
On the approach of ST. Valentines day and
| the period for another ball, the committee were
convened at the old place, and on calling over
| the names of f,Uenty-one Of the members they
| were proclaimed absentess, and on inquiring
why and wherefore, we learnt that they had all
| married.
$50 ladies pray take warning
By my true love and me-
The very plan which was TO perpe,uate the
fame of The single, has in the end proved the ut
ter destruction of bachelors; and those free row
ing fellows, with heads up and eyes to the right,
are now seen crawling aleng Broadway, with
coat buttoned to the neck, and a wife en- Don
point tucked under their arms.
Finding it was all Dickey with the bachelors
ball, and that we were compelled TO adjourn
sine die we called for bottle of the jano and
few S. gars, and had comfortable conversation
on the subiect:--"Well, Harry's gone at last
who did he marry" "Why little Poppet
Sprightly, of Park place"-"No!-why he is
As, and she l6" "WeIl, so much the better /;
the older bachelor grows, the younger he
| wants his wife to be- "Who did Dick Trifle
marry?"-"O, Dick was bit; he fell in love
| with Bridget Loveall, in consequence Of her
brillian, complexion at the ball, but discover
| ed that i, was made up Of pearl powder and
Miss St. Martins liquid rouge" "Poor fel-
low!-and who did COL Thunderbolt so off
with" ooh, he married fat widow in Pearl
street, and got three brick houses and retail
store "Come, that's pretty well-and Tom
who fixed him." "Tom fell in love with
country cousin at the ball; and it was not until
a month after he was married that he discov-
cred she had glass eye-oh! oh!-ha! ha!'
Thus the ways ran over the catalogue, ridi-
culins the good fortune Of the Benedicts and
scandalizing their cara Sposas, and finally de-
Gliding that there would be no bachelor s ball this
year. in consequence Of its having been dlscov-
cred that by the census there were $4,000 more
males in the state than females, and conse-
quently their stock being high they would stand
upon high premiums, and would not be found
counting the bachelors.
In the Louisiana House of Representatives,
on the 10Th ult. Mr. Maurian introduced the
following resolutions; which were adopted,
with amendments, and sent 10 the Senate on
the goth:
RESOLVED, By the Senate and House Of Represen-
iatiues Of The State Of Louisiana in General Assem-
blu conrened, Thar our Senators in Congress be
instructed and our Representatives requested,
to unite and exert all their efforts to procure the
adoption by Congress, of an act amending the
revenue laws of the United States, in such
manner as 10 effect the following purp' SEES,
which this General Assembly consider as OF the
utmost importance, for the commerce OF the
United States in general, and for that OF the
State Of Louisiana in particular, to wit:
LIST. That all goods entered for expectation
may be warehoused for two years, in stores to
be provided by government, or by the importer
under the lock Of the government, and under
such regulations as government shall think III;
and that the Secretary of the Treasury may be