The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware advertiser., 1826-03-23

sentences In the centre was large table,
round which, at equal distances, were plac-
cd certain little Jumps of money, which my
friend told me were to reward the labor
ers of the Inquistion, amongst whom the |
surplus arising from absentees would like
wise be divided.-From the keenness with |
which each individual darted upon his share
and ogled that of his absent neighbor, | sur
missed that some of my fellow sufferers
would find the day against them. They
would be examined by eyes capable of pen
etrating every crevice OF their constitutions,
BY noses which would smell rat mile off,
and hunt a guinea breast high. How in
deed could plague or pestilence, gout or
gmttony, expect TO lurk in it's hole undis-
turbed when surrounded by pack of terri
ers which seemed hungry enough to devour
one another! Whenever the door slammed,
and they looked for an addition to their
CRY they seemed for all the world as though
they were going to bark; and if straggler
really entered and seized upon his moiety,
the intelligent look of vexation was precise
" like that of dog who has lost bone.
When ten or a dozen OF these gentry had
assembled, the labors of the day commenc-
! ed.
| Most Of our adventurers for raising sup
plies upon their natural lives were afflicted
with a natural conceit that they were bv no
means circum scribed in foundation for such
project Tn vain did the Board endeavor
to pursuade them that they were half dead
already. They fought hard fora few more
years, swore that their fathers had been al
most immortal, and that their whole fami-
lies had been as tenacious of life as eels
themselves. Alas! they were first ordered
into an adjoing room, which / soon learnt
~. > LIZ
informed that the establishment could have
nothing to say to them. Some had the
good luck to be reprieved a little longer,
but even these did not effect very flatter-
ing or advantageous bargain. One old gen.
tleman had large premium to pay for a
totter in his knees; another for an extraor-
dinary circumference in girth; aud dowa-
ger of high responsibility, who was afflicted
with certain undue proportions of width,
was fined most exolbirantly. The only GUS
toner who met with any thing like salts
faction, was gigantic man of Ireland, with
whom Death, | thought was likely to have
pnzzling contest.
s'How cid are You Srs' enquired an ex-
aminer.
Forty"
"You seem to be a strong man"
Il arm the strongest man in Ireland"
But subject to the gout!"
"No.-The Nothing else
, upon my soul"
"NVhat age was your father when he di-
ede"
"Oh he died young; but then he was killed
, in row."
"Have you any uncles aIive?"
"No they were all killed inrows too"
, ''Pray Sir, do you think of returning &c
Ireland3"
"May be shall some day or other"
"What security can we have that YOU are
not killed in row YOURSELF"
"Oh, never fear | am the sweetest TEN
per in the world barring when I'm dining
out, which is not often.
"What. Sir, you can drink littlel''
'Three bottles with ease"
"Ay that is bad. You have red face ant
look apoplectic. You will no doubt. go Of
! suddenly"
E "Devi a bit. Ny red face was born will
, ME; and III lay a bet live longer than any
two in the room"
Q 'But three bottles----'
: sNever YOU mind that. don't mean tl
e drink more than abottle and ahalf in future
0 Besides, intend to get married if can, anc
/ live snug.'
t A debate arose amongst the directors re
SpeCllUS liliS SiiSiplltN. lax
$ words "row" and 'three bottlcs," ran hur.
! ry- scurry round the table. Every dog hat
! snap at them. At last however, the lead
!, er of the pack addressed him in demur-
! ring growl, and agreed that upon his paying
Y slight additional premium for his iiregu
larities, he should be admitted as fit sub
ject.
1t was now my turn to exhibit: but as my
, friend was handing me forward, my pro
gress was arrested by the entrance of .
oung lady with an elderly maid servant
She was dressed in slight mourning, wa!
the most sparkling beauty had ever seer
and appeared to produce an instantaneou.
: effect upon the stony hearted director.
themselves. The chairman politely request
ed her TO take seat at the table, and imme.
diately entered into her business, which
seemed little more than to show herself ant
be entitled to twenty thousand pounds, fot
which her late hu8bGnd had insured his life
"Zouns," thought |, "twenty Thousand
pounds and widow"
"Ah Madam" observed the chairman
"your husband made too good bargain with
us. told him he was an elderly, sckly sor,
ofa man and not likely to last; but l never
thought he would have died so soon after his
marriage"
An elderly, sickly sort of e man! She