Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1826-08-25
THE HONEY MOON. Z


unto myself wife After the ceremony, the
happy couple Mrs. Snacks and MYSELF set out
IN a chaise and four for Ramsgate. Journey
delightful; how could il be otherwise! Though
never saw nv Amanda look so divine; Cano-
vas Venus seems mode led from her: the same
clustering ripglets; .he same snowy yoluptuous
bosom: the same--Oh! what lucky dog am.
Tuesday, a--Evening: overwhelmed by the
tumult of my thoughts Felt quite young a
gain (by the bye, am only 40, after alll and
indited the followingNletter TO my friend Tom
kins Of the Temple. "Dear Tom, burn your
books and marry Marry immediately my old
boy. Nothing like matrimony; il paradise
itself, pure, genuine and unsophlsticated. -
{ Read my note to Amanda, imprinted on her
soft cheek a husbands tenderest kiss, and set
down to hot supper.
Wednesday,, 3.--indulged in pensive stroll
along the sea shore. filed with connubial costa
cy. Thought on Thompson's exquisite lines
on domestic bliss. ooh happy they" sc.
need scarcely add that my Amanda accompan-
led me in this ramble, with her ringlets waving
like gossamer,..o the wind, and small counte-
nance. Enchanting girl! She wants nothing
of angel bu. the wings.
Thursday, Allow genuine, how lasting is
domestic bliss! Study has It's advantages; but
compared with the ecstacies of Hymen, 1t Is
nothing, absolutely nothing-Middleton and
Milton remember, both speak with enthusiasm
'sof welded love-" Gibbon frequently alludes to
il as ssthe most tender of human connexions"
Johnston says, shat there is no happiness with
out it; and indeed all authors who are good for
any thing are loud in its praise. BY the Ro-
man law, however, wife was expressly called
ga lhing," part of the domestic furniture
which might be sold by her husband; SO that,
on making catalogue of his goods he might
thus enumerate them: Lot No. Four sofas,
two tables, three pillow cases, one wash tub, a
wife, and bed candestick. Only conceive
wife (my Amanda for instance) placed side by
side with wash tub.
Friday, s-Of all jokes, the most absurd are
those launched against women, and wives in
particular. For this reason am resolved,
should my Amanda ever bless me with children;
TO prevent them learning the Eton Latin Gram
mar, from its observing in one OF the rules OF
syntax, that ethe masculine gender is more
worthy than the iemenine,' sc. Monsirous
violation Of both grammar and gratitude!
r Sunday, i4,--Continued rain. What bore
is wet Sunday in the country. Amanda, by
the bye, said, pleasantly enough, that wet wea-
ther might be expected in watering place
Attended morning church, and inquired of
fat clerk whether there was any evening service.
Lunched by way of amusement. Looked out
Of the window, and busted myself in counting
the eye-drops. Thought OF my books IN Lin
coins Inn. United my shoe strings, in order
to tie them up again. Picked my best breech-
es to pieces, for one must do something.
Nem.-Ir seems long time for dinner.
Monday. over to Margate, Amanda
dressed IN the extreme of fashion, and full, as
usual, OF yivacity. Walked together on the
fort. Met one Captain Dermont O'Dorherty,
long Irishman of Ballyshannun, and former
sutton OF my wife Gull he found she had nothing
Formally introduced'to him, and shaken on the
spot by hand as hard as deal board.
lNtm.-Amanda seems much taken with him
but this ofcourse, for the fellow is full off era
vat and compliment, and stands six feet high,
but about bread. Can't say like his looks
Tuesday,, is Received visit from the long
Irishman. Offered Amanda and myself tickets
for the Margate Assembly. kicked her under
the table as hint TO decline them. Mouse, one
mighr as well kick post. Fellow stayed a full
hour, during which Mrs. nacks never ceased
talking. A pert, silly, gisglius-but what can
you expect from woman? And yet notwith-
standing, Solomon, inhis Proverbs, has the as
surance to say "Nhoso iudeth wife, fndeth
good thing. Can't say | think so.
Wednesday, IL. ~ had tiff with Mrs. Snacks
about the long Irishman. 10 return she called
me Jealous; shows how littesshe knows Of hui
man nature How can be jealous of such an
uncou,h, raw-ooned, disjointed jacknapes2---
Called him so before her face, and got nick
named san old trump" in reply.
Mem That's all one gets for ones good ma
ture---"old trump" indeed. Think of that now
should not mind her calling me "frump,"
but ssold!" besides, IT'S no such thing, shall
notbe fifty till next Michaeimas day. Went TO
bed in rage, and dreamed of the long lish-
man.
Thursday, is.---Walked out before breakfast,
and met the long Irishman. detest swearing;
but d--n him what does he mean by It.. Dined
al three o'clock, and helped twice to cheese by
way OF sonlething TO do. Went half price TO
the theatre, and at the corner Of the Stage box
hoooied against the long Irishn.an. Mrs
Snacks smiled on him. I think at least she