American watchman and Delaware advertiser., 1826-09-05

and batter. pudding Of cylindrical shape livd com
pexion, and the most appalling scientific gravity,
completed the dinner II is difficult to hDd SIM
le for this pudding--the reader may obtain lant
idea Of is appearance end constitutions oy inspect
ing leaden clock weight sat with stubborn reso
lu,ions CT eating til, the family we're sastieda sure
but terrible path 10 popularity. Come Master,
said Mrs. Dunning, "reach to and help yourself,
when you are amongst poor iolks ~ strove 70 al
Ievia,e the good woman's anxiety by word and deco
I seized poatoe. squashed 1t upon my plate, and
gazed in silent agony on the four spoonius othquid
pork generously poured upon it under the name OF
gravy n reputation and twenty y-eight dollars being
at stake would have been rashness in me to refuse
the half pound of minced fish. four cups of tea.
ninety degrees of apple pie, and eleven dough NUTS
which were thrust upon me with DIST essing kino-
ness II is said that the North Caroliua militia,
when commanded to FIRE, shut their eyes, Danish
thought and pull trigger. feeling somewhat 81
milar prompted me to close mine as each mouthiul
was conveyed TO its predeslined place. and my jaws
labored mechanically like any other gris-m'l
By dint OF these conclusive eforts all the articles
Jus, mel poned made to disappear; and
now. thought > have made deep impression IN my
favor Delusive idea AS evanesccnt as the prov
ends III vanished before the kne and iofk oil
M, D.raing's son. promising young Vulcan
whose operations was watching with Jealous eye
--and my heart sank within me at the comparative
dence ea;ed by this scene was heightened by an
exclaraion from Mts. Dunrng An Maste''
you ~on max out dinner; ! AN sieared you
don'fhke our fare At tina, instant wished my
sell 81 esaun.aux or an ostrich. AS il was, made
effort and devoured Two more dough nuts
but here asymp,om Of stianghng rendered me stiff
netked against al, further solicitations. had rea
lzed and could demonstrate an absolute enum.
pass over the diff ul,y Of walking two rods to the
schooi-house aud merely remark that, had gone 10
tn agents Tor dinner my pupils would have cameo
hall holiday Let ne stop momeh, to remind
the reader thst this narrative is not written tor sp
plau,e-that .ympahy is not expected-that smile
would De an insult-sor. to me, it is memento OF
any lhine but he ludcrous. lie may bear IN mind,
also, hat ] have dls-Iamed exageeralion, and pro-
iessed to be the advocate OF truth These rehec-
tion. will enable him TO meet wi hout sneer, the So
lsmn sssur ance that, 10 six successive days. de
vouted seventeen meals Of equal magnitude with
The one described. Nor can my sacrifices be fairly
censured as extravsgant; Tor, although the demon
OF popularity may be conciaed at dinner yet his fa
Sor is easily lost al supper or break asst. His vo-
,aries must be consistent in their piety. From an
imperiec, register Of these offerings it appears that,
among other articles, ] consumed during the first
week six pounds OF minced fish, Two gallons OF tea.
q pin and hall of melted pork, cubic foot OF solid
duo. five apple pies one hundred and nineteen
dnph outs.
w 'aiuIUht HaFHHiB, tuISc W TIC dRchi uOks
foilo' ed me to school. ought oi the pork had
eaten and ever and anon cast tmd glance at the
swine Their tamrness was shocking TO me y
But It shortly ceased to be so Tor after this. they
followed me with canine regularity and wilhou,
any inclination 10 be witty regaded them merel,
as intole able bores A wetk had now elapsed, and
not only found me in existence. but also b ough,
along with pleasure had long been stranger
to-tha, was the benefits Of eating My popularity
was Unparalleled and built upon foundaio toe
solid for premature decay Well has modern
writer contended that the stomach Is the OF the
soul. 1t is an ing nious and plausible doctrine, and
not without its advoca Gates ; for in Ii, at least
they estimate mans intelectuals by the capacity
of his bread basket The whole district rang with
my praises The Master" SAID they, isis fine
accommodating mamie isn't mite partickler
about his sittles." So much accomplished in a
single week would have pulled up any body and
meeknrss herself might have pardoned the iDnoc { nj
strut that conveyed me to the neighborng village o
Is g., on Saturday afternoon. An Acquaintance
met me in the sireet-~as struck with my altered
appearance, and expressed much sarcastic regret tc
find that | had fallen into consumpiiye habus
Iaunfs and jeers, however, affected me Ar
honest p de supported me. But pride must hav,
fail, and the fall oi nine a heavy one Du
ring that memorable Saturday night. fancy. in tn,
shape of the incubus, caused me to execute a SON
etseI, the ike Of which never performed bu
once and then il was done by Lucifer The tum
BILE, however, being only part o my involuntary
freaks and sufferngs the night aforesaid. | shal
take the liberty to nsrrate them in order and large
AS Tor the reader, be he never sleepy the night
mare shall keep him awake while we are in compa
ny--out II he has not the patience 10 read descrip
slon OIL heartily wish him the reality. and leav
him to his sumbers Al nine O'Clock found nv
sell in bed, and few minutes alter. in The desert O
Zahara Tor the night mare is an excellent travel
ler Notwithstanding the short period of time oc
cupied in passing he Atlantic, my sides ached hor
riby. was no less jaded than il the journey ha