The Massachusetts spy, and Worcester County advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1825-1831, 1826-04-05

| last proof of his sincerity in declaring
his name and concluded by saying he
was such an advocate, living in such a
place. Immediately another voice was
heard from another part of the church,
calling out that the penitent was an inn
pudent impostor that he was the advo-
cate named, and that he could not re-
proach himself with any of the faults SO
calumniousiy imputed TO him. He be-
sought the audience TO secure the vii
lain; but in vain, for the mischievous
wag had slipped away during the mo-
ment Of surprise when the real advocate
began to speak and Notwithstanding
the most diligent inquiry, was never
discovered.
The Silent academy, or the Emblems.
"There was at Amadan, a celebrated
Academy, whose first law was conceiv-
ed in the following terms Let the
academicians think much, write little,
ADD speak as little az possible. 1t was
called the silent academy +; and there
was not real man of science in all
Persia, who was not anxious TO be a
member. DR.. Zeb, the author of an
excellent little work entitled the Broom,
learned at the extremity ofhis province,
that there was vacancy in the Acade-
my. He instantly repaired TO Amadan,
and presenting himself at the door of
the ball, where the academicians were
assembled, requested the porter to give
the President this note =" DR.. Zeb
humbly solicits the vacant place."-
This porter discharged his commission;
but the doctor and his note came too
late, for the vacancy was filled up.
The academy was in the utmost
distress at this misfortune. 1t had re-
luctantly received coulter wit, whose
lively and volatile eloquence was the
admiration of the drawing-room and il
now saw itself obliged to refuse DR..
Zeb, the scourge of babblers, man of
the deepest erudition and soundest judg-
ment. The President, charged 10 an
uounce this .disagreeable news 30 the
doctor, knew not how TO undertake the
office. After short reverie. he order
ed large bason TO be so filled with
water, that the addition of single drop
would spill the liquor; then he gave
sign for the introduction of the candi-
date, who made his appearance with
the simple and modest air, which almost
always announces true merit The
President rose, and, without uttering
word, showed him with marks of the
deepest regret, the mathematical bason,
the basou so completely filled. The
Doctor saw clearly that there was no
room for him in the academy; but
without losing courage, he advised the
means OF showing the acacemician, that
a supernumerary member would occa-
sion no disarrangement. Observing at
his feet rose-leaf, he took it up, and
| placed it so delicately on the surface of
the water, that not single drop escap-
ed. This ingenious answer pleased the
assembly, and Dr. Zeb was admitted
member by reclamation.
"The register CT the academy was
then presented 10 him !; and, when he
had, according 10 custom. inscribed his
name. il remained only for him TO pro.
Dounce his Grafton of thanks but the
doctor, like true silent academician,
returned these thanks without uttering
a word. In the margin Of the register,
he sat down the number of 100, that of
his new colleagues then putting cy-
Pher before the number, he wrote,
!" makes them neither more or less,
i {01O0.O The President returned the
compliment to the modest doctor, with
az much politeness as presence of mind
Placing unit before the number, he
wrote, they are now worth ten times
more, (lloo.w
A Scotch Parson once preached long
sermon against dram drinking, a vice
very prevalent 10 his parish, and from
which, report said he was not himsel
wholly exempt. " Whatever We do,
bretheren," said he, do it with mode
ration, and a5oon all, be moderate il
dram drinking. When you get up, in
deed We may take dram, and anithel
just before breakfast. and perhaps anith
er after; but diona be always dram
drinking. If We are out in the morn
ye may just brace yourself up with
anitber dram, and perhaps anither be.
fore luncheon, and some fear, TAX ane
after, which is no-so very blameable
but dinna be always dram-dram-dram.
ming away. Naebody can scruple for
one just afore dinner, and when the