American watchman and Delaware advertiser. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1822-1828, 1826-05-12
TO THE EDITORS OF THE WATERMAN.

M
the tale of Chemist" reprinted from Kniob,,.
Quarterly Magazine. The tale is told so admipah,s
and is so interesting in all its parts, that shall h.
glad to see it iu the pages OF your paper. The an
thor is Practical Chemist, who has made snch
wonde full discoveries as have asonished the n.onI.
Of Europe, and must fill the world, from the c.n,,.
to its utmost boundaries, with the fame OF his knov,.
edge and unlimited powers. He has discovered N.
nature of Grarty-anay zed it with mathematical
correctness, and can decompose and recompound !,
at his bidding. Once. however. he committed 40
error, failing 10 which great Philosophers are ia.
Bile, by abslracting so large portion OF gravity from
his own body as to render himself rather lpb,sr
than our atmosphere, and by sudden spring from
his feet he thrown so high into the air that h.
apprehe nded death from famine before he repain,d
the Earth. But by miracle he did reach our pIan
ct, and on his return he applied all his huge mental
pov ers to the improvement of his machine for dee.
,roying and creating gravity. He succeeded 80 D.r.
iecty that he could place in small Gum Elastic
bottle as much :" Oil Of Gravity" separated from
weight (but 10 which he could instantly communi.
cate any quantity OF wegh) as should supply him
on journey through the universe, and enable him
to aoft from planet to planet, descend to our
Earth when it should please his philosophc Males.
ty. His humility Is SO profound that he has conceal
ed his real name-forsaken his native country and
alighted on some retired place where he is engaged
in course OF experiments for the benefit OF The
world. May we not suspect, with reason, that this
great man has descended to Earth near our biphlv
honored town? Fiom tine extraordinary works of
a great parsonage, who learn, humbly calls him.
sell Practical Chemist, we may indulge hope
that the wonder worker is now within the limits Of
our Borough! 1t may be conecturcd that his vault.
ngs into air-hs visits to the planets which com.
pose our system, and the suHferngs which he endu
| ,yLi H.. lie oI
for the good OF mankind have taught, him the pro-
priey Of adhering most closely the surface Of our
Globe II he be our present visitor ne has, learn.
parted from levity, and assumed so large portion
of gravity 10 merit the truly chemical name "Grl
vium." But to this title have an objection tits
too rrcondie Tor general use, and therefore would
call him Sir james crazy particularly a, that 81.
tcle is rich full Of nutriment, and resembles in
sound, Sir Humphrey Dayy, the name Of the grea,
| L glish Chemist. Indeed, have heard that Sir
James, the Practical Chemist, has communicated so
much Grnrty to some OF his visitors, that they are
now unable to lift their feet from Earth. Ifhe
be verify the great European discoyerer whom ! have
mentioned, our Physicians and Chemists, old and
young should do themselves the honor Of cultiysng
an acquaintance with the grea, Philosopher. From
him they may learn the miraculous art, by the sp.
plicaton Of his Pump Of Grsrity,'' Of letting on.
the matter OF disease for any particular opening o. the
body, and thus working an immediate cure. They
may also be taught to ascertain the character Of
each malady, by an examination OF the aqueous dis
charges from natural outlets, which are exhibited
and analysed with surprising accuracy and despatch
by the Practical Chemist Nay. it has been as.
serted that he can compress an extra quantity oil
gravity within the smallest point, and drive it so
adroitly into diseased paet that it will penetrate to
the very bottom of the flesh, and enter the bone be.
| fore his patient is sensible of touch. SOME per.
sons belle he take out pair oil blind eyes and
re set them with new points Of vision having the
b liancy of Diamonds. In addition to the noble
properties which have described Sir James Gravy,
the Practical Chemist ha admirable skill in Ieslo'
ring diseased wines and beers TO perfect soundness--
so that wine, or fiat and pricked beer, under
the magical influence of his powers, is filled WITH
life and heah.resoring qualities Indeed, he IS
reported to have changed putrd ponds into vats oil
fine beer Of these, several gentlemen in this place,
can furnish the necessary evidence let any Of OUT
increduous citizens consult our Brewers Tooth
ache and Rheumatism, terrified at the approach OF
our magician, fly from the pointing OF his hnger.-
When an unusual quantity of gravity has fallen on
the brain of young gentleman or lady, and caused
head ache love, stupidity, Sir James will extract
The svperHuous matter, by his E" Gravity Pump
Danish the evil spirit and give wit and health 10 INC
poor sufferers. II is supposed that the yy'n1s
Uatchmdn IS only one OF his agents. prepared Wy wv
Pump Of Gravity" to traverse earth, air and ocean
at his command: yes, and it is to be hoped ne wiz
render harmless, that terrific monster Of the East,
The Boa, by throwing from his pump such torrents
OF gravity as shall compress him into the dimensions
of common knitting pin. In Phrenology, his o's'
coyeries have proved tina: Calls and SpurzheimS
theories are the wild notions of distempered I'M
agna,ion. The form OF the Uranium has nothing 10
do with mental power, or moral propensity Nc
nobs Of the skull he ascertans TO be the result Oh
accidental circumstances they caused by gTa''
ity operating upon the brain without any Opposing
power In short they the consequences Of r,e
position in which the child is placed on its bed. nc