Northern star, and Warren and Bristol gazette. [volume] (Warren [R.I.]) 1826-1830, 1826-10-14

yes ansl'bcfore yon have done with
your first nap---you hear strange
sounds, above, beneath and around
You think, first Of thieves, then uf
thunder stor,n, rain, hail and earth
lQuake now you are wide awake,
and realize the return Of WASHING
DAY ami accordingly jump mecl'an.
ically from tl,c bed, hang on your
clothes, and make precipitatc re-
treat.
You secretly determine not to re-
enter the hvuse till the end of tho
ca,npaiSn, and most resolutcIy aud
desperately do you set out on Your
morming travels. But hunger, that
sometimes " EN- the gods overlake,"
ovcrtakcs you. with 0miniOus fore
boding. and suspicious fears, you re-
turn to scconHoitic the strength and
position of tho eifemy and at icngth
boldly march into tho camp.
+" What do you want here 2" cries
tho better half of yourself.
" My breakfast, love ~ "a soft
answer turlreth away wrath, Z" my
breakfast, iove"---you reply.
breakfast breakfast H. (ele-
vating her heal to an awfal attiiude)
---brcakiast Oa washing day 20
By-and-by you sit down alone To
your precious vcpast Of burnt toast,
muddy coffee, eggs boiled to the ca
pacity ofgrape shot. or pcrsdvcnture
not boiled at all :---y0u "fick clean
teeth" for fifteen minutes, and in q
huff make another desperate sortis
from the house. S@
After suffering the " aching voitl''
of an empty stomach through the
forenoon, you make another Charge
at one o'clock, With renewed impe.-
uosity. On going into tho dining
room you sec no preparation for din
ner ; you incoutincntly ring the bell--
no answer, In utter dependency,
you fly into the kitchen.
| Aud what do you want here?''
cries out at once the whole battalion
of scrubbcrs and scourers.
/" My diuncr"---you mornfully
reply. 4
| i" Ii is washing day."
! :sI know ii =" You take q hand
kerclief from your pocket to allay
perspiration. Uniucky deed ONO
ofthe sytphs who prcsides over the
tub claims it as her lawful victim.
!" My dinner. "yoa exclaim in fall
tcring accents.
!" The handkerchief !" shouts the
washer Of clothes, louder tnan Othcl,
10.
"My din---" you family articu-
late.
" The handk---."
You mediate an escape you at
tempt "a rum. you fall upon the slippe-
Try hoor-.-you damage your broad
cloth, rnd you are riiicd Of your hand
kcrchief, and all.
After meditating upon your for-
lorn condition, IN this state of deep
addiction, you make dinner, if din
ner may be called that's dinner none
81. G. you range The closcsts, and
ca:, without mcthud or discrimination.
of butter aid cake, and bread and
apple, and cheese and sugar.
You seize your hat and run your
self as mucI, out of breath, as did the
Bohemian, k.Hayraddin Mangrabin, in
the story Quentin Durward, when
the dogs were locsed upon him. III
| You return at evening. Oh what
altered faces!
-" Hapc enhanced smiles,
Aud waves her golden hair"
! Your vile smiles, AID you smile. E.
ven Ponto growls pleasure, and grim
akin whispers satisfaction. Every
thing is regenerated not shred re-
mans unwhipt Of Justice" You ex-
claim, "sweet arc the uses of ADVERSE
~ :',--you are comforted with the re-
ficction that your lost meal is better
than your FIRST.
You had lost your dinner. yonr
. breakfast, your temper and your hand
J kerchief; but now you have found
them all. You feel as traveller, who
after many hardships and misfortunes,
is at last restored to his friends. his
comforts and his home. You (psrjon
, me, most kind and gentle reader, and
, reverend seigniors all) kiss your wife
and excla,m,
"Thus should desert in suds be crownd.'