The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware advertiser., 1826-12-14

"Not shave me-" repeated the little man
a third time, louder than ever, and starting
from his seat with bound perfectly remark
able for his eorpulency. The shaver got q
larmed, and we'll he might; for the other
stood fronting him-his arm a-kimbo-his
eye flashed fire; and.all his attitudes indica-
tive of some hostility. The strap was
dropped, and the razor quietly deposited up
on the mantle-piece.
"Do you mean to do me an injury in my
own housei" said the Barber, with all the
courage he could muster.
| "Donncr and Blitzen Who talks Of in.
juring youi wish you to scrape my beard.
Is there any thing extraordinary in that"
II can shave no man after ten O'clock"
replied the Barber "Besides my business
is solely confined to the professors and stu
dents of the university. I am strictly for
bidden to operate on the face or head of any
other person, by the most learned Doctor
Dedimus Dunderhead, and the Senatus
Academicus."
doctor Dedimus Dunderhead observed
the other, with contemptuous sneer. "And
| who may that be?"
"IIe is the Provost of the University, and
Professor of Moral Philosophy thereunto;"
answered the Baber; not little scandalized
at hearing that learned man spoke of in
such terms.
"Ay-and pretty dunderheaded fellow
he must be to give any such orders. How
ever, ! am not going to waste my time here
all night. All that have to tell you is this,
that if you won't shave me shall shave
you." And, suiting the action to the word,
he reached up his hand got hold Of the Bar
Der by the nose. and placed him by sheer
force. upon the chair which he himself had
just left. The suddenness of this action de-
prived the other for moment of his senses.
He sat gazing, with mixture of rage. and
amazement, at the author of the audacious
deed; nor was it till he felt the brush load
ed with cold soap suds, humping upon his
cheeks. and heard the stranger laughing
aloud. that he reflected upon his situation.
His first impulse was to start up, but he was
instantly pushed down by the brawny arm Of
the little man. He then turned his head
from side to side, to avoid the assaults, but
this did not mend the matter: his face was
reached by the brush, and brow, nose,
cheeks, and ears bcspattered with sapona-
ceous cffusion. Nor when he attempted to
bawl out, were hisI efforts more successful:
the indefatigable operator filled his meuth
with lather, and laid on with greater ener-
gy than ever. With one hand grasping him
By the throat, and the other armed with the
shaving-brush, the fat man continued at his
occupation, laughing heartily, and enjoying,
with the most turbulent mirth, the scene be-
fore him. At last the barber managed, with
great difficulty, to get out some words, and
cried strenuously for mercy, promising, by
heaven and earth, to shave his oppressor
when and where he thought proper. what
ever Doctor Dedimus Dunderhead and the
Senatus Academicus might say to the con-
trary.
This declaration procured him \ release.
He rose up trembling from the grasp of the
stranger, and having his face more tho-
roughly bedzcncd with his own peculiar liz
guild, than any face, handsome or ugly.
which ever came under his hands. His first
care was to free it of those ignomiaious
marks of good will by means of towel.
while the author of this outrage, threw him.
self upon the chair almost convulsed with
laughter.
AS the astonished shaver prepared his lie
tensils for the operation about to be per-
formed, though in different manner, upon
his opponent, he had some leisure to recov-
er from the shock into which he was thrown.
Indignation was still prominent feeling in
his mind; but this was subordinate to ether
emotions; and the dread of his sufferings be-
irg repeated, together with the appearance
of the stranger, who had now resumed his
seat and was whisting impaticntly, made
him hasten his preparations with unusual
speed. Having arranged every thing, that
is to say, having prepared razor, mixed up
quantity of foaming lather and stuck tow
cl under the chin of his customer, he was
about to commence, when the latter thun-
derctl out, "apaunf!" The Barber gave
way like sacred poacher, retreated some
steps, and gazed at the other with ill-sup-
pressed alarm.
"Perhaps you mean to cut my throat!
said the stranger, in a loud voice.
"My business is to shave Boards and not
to cut throats," rejoined the affrighted shaw
er. with all humility.
Every like-very like; but don't choose
to take you at your word: so have care. II
you cut my throat / will blow your brains
out, that's al.'' And placing his hand in
one of the large pockets of his trock-coat, he
brought out horse mans pistol, cooked il
deliberately, and placed it on chair which
stood beside him. "Now proceed" continu.
ed he, "and remember, if you so much as
scratch pimple on my chm, or leave sim
gle hair unshorn, shall send bullet thro-
your numskull."
The appearance of this terrible weapon
augmented as may we'll be supposed, the
Barber's alarm. His hand shook like an as
,., la.f and he ant 10 x,;prr ~, .b ,,,J, 49,.