Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1825-05-05
MISCELLANY.
INSURANCE AND ASSURANCE


From the London Ne,o Monthly Magazine.
Bernardinc-I have been drinking hard all
night, and will have more time to prepare
me, or they shall beat out my brains with
billets. l will not consent to die this day
that's certain.
Duke.-Oh, Sir, yon must; and therefore
beseech you look forward on the journeyyo
( shall go.
Bernmdine-I swear will not die to-day
| for any mans persuasion.
Measure for Measure.
at is inconceivable to the virtuous and
praise worthy part of the world, who have
been born and bred to respectable idleness,
what terrible straits are the lot of those scam
dalous rogues whom Fortune has left to SHIFT
for themselves Such was my feeling ejac-
nlation when, full of penitepce for the sin of
urgent necessity, Iwended my way to the at
torney who had swept together, and for the
most part, picked up the crumbs which fell
| from my fathers table. He was little griz-
zled, sardonic animal, with features which
were as hard as his heart, and fitted their leath-
er-jacket so tightly that one would have
! thought it had shrunk from washing, or that
| they had bought it second handed and were
pretty nearly out at the elbows. They were
| completely emblematic of their possessor,
whose religion it was to make the most Of eve
~ thing, and amongst the rest, of the dis
tresses of his particular friends, amongst whom
had the happiness of standing very forward.
NV business required but little explanation,
| for was oppressed neither by rent-rolls nor
title deeds; and we sat down to consider the
readiest means of turning an excellent income
for one year into something decent tor few
more.-My adviser, whose small experienced
eve had twinkled through all the speculations
of the age, and, at the same time, had
taken a very exact admeasurement OF my Ca
liabilities Of turning them to advantage, SEEM
| ed to be of opinion, that was hit tor nothing.
| on earth. For one undertaking wanted APP
plication: for another wanted capital
Now said he, sas the first OF these dehclen-
| ces is irremediable, we must do what we can
| to supply the latter. Take my advice,-in.
| sure your life for a few thousands, you, VIII
have but little premium to pay, tor you look
as if YOU would live forever; and from ny
knowledge of your rattle-pated habits and the
various chances against you, will give hand
some sum for the insurance. Necessity o.
blged me to acquiesce in the proposal, and
| assured the old cormorant that there was eve
nv likelihood of my reauitpg his hberality by
| the most unremitting perseverance IN all inc
civil habits which had procured me his coun-
ltenance. We shook hands in mutual ilf-oPi-
| mon, and he obhgingly volunteeredto accom-
pany me to an insurance office, where tney J
were supposed to estimate the duration OF a
mans life to quarter of an hour and odd Sc
conds.
we arrived a little before the business hour,
and were shown into large room; where we
found several more spectators waiting rue
| fully for the oracle to pronounce sentence
In the centre was large table, round which,
at equal distances, were placed certain httle
Jumps ofmoney, which my friend told me
were to reward the labours of the inquisiton,
amongst whom the surplus arising from ab
sentees would likewise be divided. From
the keenness with which each individual dart
ed upon his share and ogled that of his absent
neighbour, / s,rmised that some of my fellow
sufferers would find the day against them n, :
They would be examined by eyes capable Of
penetrating every crevice of their constitu-
lions, by noses which could smell a rat mile
J Of, and hunt guinea breast high: How IN