Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1825-03-22

Two men meeting one day.. 10 you.
know" says one :" that osr friend
Councillor D. is dead!" Yes, / know
it," replied the other: "and the report
goes that he has left few effects. ""How
could it be otherwise" said the o.
ther, "when he had so few causes 2'
A certain gentleman of the law, in
the state of New York, built him an
office in the form ola hexagon, or six
square. The novelty ofthe structure
attracted the attention of some Irish
men who were passing by-they made
full stop and viewed the building
very CRITICALLY he lawyerbeing some
what disguised at their curiosity, lift
ed up the window, put his head out
and addressed them. "What do you
stand there for like pack of saucy
blockheads gazing at my Office ? do you
take il to be achurch?" One of them
replied, "Why indeed. was thinking
so, till saw the Devil put his head
out of the window"
A person was once tried before Lord
Coke, on charge of having written .
book in folio, which contained num-
Der of seditious expressions, Of which
after long trial he was acquitted.
His lordship observed, "That the wri-
ter had like to have brought himself
into snare by folio, but-lookins
to the taoeivs jurors-that he escaped
by duodecimo
Mr.. X. the gardener, who had lately
put on the connubial yoke, was asked
by Friend if he continued to reside
in the same mansion in which he had
lived so many years as bachelor
+" Yes l do (said hey, Notwithstanding
my WIFE has converted it into hot
house."
Advertisement copied from q NO
naghan Paper, Ireland :-"Whereas
John Hall has fraudulcntIy taken 81
way several articles Of my wearing ap.
parei without my knowledge, this 10
therefore to inform him, that ifhe does
rot forthwith return the same his mans
shall be made public"
A Chaplain to Governor of Bengal,
more remarkable for the goodness Of
his heart than the brilliancy ofhis wit,
being one day at the table of his patron,
asked for toast, with much simpli.
city exclaimed" Alas! and lack.
a-day! what can give?" Nothing
better replied the Governor. Come,
Gentleman, a bumper to the parsons
toast-a Lass and Lack day. A
lack ofrupees is One Hundred Pounds
Some years ago person requested
permission of the Bishop Of Salisbury
to fly from the top of the spire of that
cathedral. The good Bishop, with
an anxious concern for the mans spir.
itua., as we'll as temporal safety, told
him he was very welcome to fly to the
CEurch, but he would encourage no
man to- fly from il.
1t is customary in the City of Lon
don. on the death of aleu- Broker, fora
relation to apply to the Lord Mayor for
new Iicence to act; the fee for which,
to the Chief magistrate, is one thousand
pounds. In WiIks's Mayoralty, q
young Israelite applied to his Lordship
for renewal of licence in the room Of
his late father. "What," cried he,
dis the worthy creature gone? Poor
Gentleman Believe me, sir, ] had
much rather that they had all dicd
than your worthy father"
Two Jew old cIoathsmen with vene.
rable boards, were passing by a stable
door, near Tottenham Court Road,
lately, when couple of jackets so fas-
cinated them, that they could not resist
the temptation to give them a place
with their other wares. Whilst they
were secreting the jackets, the two
owners, who were drinking porter on
the opposite side of the way, were OBJ
serving the transaction. Theyrushed
out, seized the Rabies, locked them
up in the stable, and went in quest Of
certain preparations which promised
better things than Jail, or lawyer
wig, or fine, they then tied the Rab.
bies togeter, matted their two boards,
and smeared them with warm shoema-
ker's wax. AS soon as the wax was
cooled, and the people around had en-
joyed sufficiently the sishl Of the vene'
rable patriarchs, in this fraternai en-
brace, the positions applied, to each
nose by intervals, a few pinches OF
snuff, which occasioDed such con-
cussion Of noses, and such sputterins, I;
that. Of Eve hundred spectators, there
was not one who did not depart high
Il pleased with this spectacle Of distri.
'butiys justice.