Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1825-09-20

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Mutik.
CLASS III, Mendacium semperUirens
The evergreen Lie, so called, not
because it remains green merely during
the winter, but because it continues in
a %1ourishing state from generation to
generation. The specimens OF this
class are of all others the most prolific,
they increase in a double geometrical
progression. A man has had a dream;
he tells it to his wife, and in two hours
the whole village is alive with the news.
"Mr. A. dreamed he saw a black horse
at the parsons door, a sure sign OF
DEATH" says Mrs. B. to her intimates
Mrs. c. and D. who tell their friends
E. F. G. H. sc. and before night the
parson is not only dead but buried; at
least SO every body says in the next vii
iage Dick Goble returning home very
late at night from a visit to his sweet
neart, was alarmed as he was passing a
solitary part of the road by a superhu-
man noise in the wood on his left; Dick
felt himself impelled by SOME irresist-
ible impulse, and though naturally OF a
umid disposition, before he was aware
of it, Dick found himself in the CEN
tire Of the wood whence the sound PRO-
ceeded, and there-and there he was
found the next morning in a fainting tit:
swimming in cold sweat, as the man
said who discovered him 1t was a
long time before Dick perfectly recov
cred, and longer before he would tell
ofthe wonderful things he saw in the
Haunted Wood, (for it went by that
name ever after, TO the great loss OF a
very respectable Turnpike company
AT length. to the earnest entreaties oil
his deary, (for what cannot women do)
Dick related the following very Won
derful "story Of the Haunted Wood"
81 had parted from you about half an
hour, leisurely walking by the dim
light of the stars and thinking OF no.
thing at all, when my ears were stunned
by the most hideous ye!lings and how
lines I had ever heard. Atfrstl con-
fess, I did feel a little bit frightened;
but after listening a few minutes d"-
ring which the yelling seemed 10 IN
crease, l determined resolute'yto enter
the wood whence the sound seemed to
proceed: / did so, but had gone but a
few steps when a sight met my eyes,
the recollection of which, even now
chills the blood in my veins. There
appeared, (and his teeth chartered as
he went on with his story there APP
peared six persons all of whom have
lately died in this village dressed in
flowing winding-sheets, as it they had
lust risen from the grave: their deaf
flesh seemed animated, and they were
feasting on each others blood: their
nails were long, and with loud shrleks
they fastened them in each others flesh,
and seemed delighted with sucking the
blood of their fellows; my feet seemed
chained to the ground and my hair
STOOD erect with horror. Presently all
we're silent, a sulphury blast borne on
one of the most tremendous whiriwlnds
| ever experienced almost overpowered
my nostrils.-I had recourse to my
snuff box, but / found on putting my
hand in my pocket, it had disappeared!
A loud shout from the six ghosts now
announced the appearance Of an addl-
ton to the party. / raised my eyes
and beheld the Prince Of Darkness
standing maiestically in the centre OF
the six ghosts. His eyes were OF heat
ed charcoal, his hair Of a birthstone hue,
and his nose of the description gener-
ally> termed bottle noses; stretching
forth his grisly arm and rolling his
heated charcoal with evident satlsfac-
ton, he roared in a voice OF thunder
aBy nv cloven foot, thou arl welcome
Richard GobIe." heard no more: Tor
when I found was discovered tell IN,
to a swoon, and did not recover I'LL
found by my friends the next morning.
Il need not add that this story IN the
hands or rather the ears of a female
spread with amazing rapidly, and IKE
the rolling snow ball (though that is an
old smile it gathered as it went, LOT
each one telling the story to his neigh,
Dor, added a little "to make it SOUND
better" insomuch that when passing
through the village about three n
after, / was gravely told by the land
lord that the number Of ghosts DICK
saw, was upwards of a thousand ehat
the Devil had two horns as long as nsn'
ING rods, that he spatforty OF the mn, !,
vile patent cooking-stoves chuck 'u''
of FIRE at Dick, sc. SC.
Class Nv. Mendacium curvam. Inc
indirect OF oblique lie. To this class
belong more proselytes than hall the
res, put together, nay philosophers
have thought it should be called uni
-yersal; so very fashionable has 1t De-
come of late, that it has acquired q
new name, the word lie sounding Toe
harsh for those high bloods, who though
thew disdain the more vulgar varieties;
are vet vulgar enough to make use o.