Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1825-02-15
If the pride of the feudal system.

~ y
lations. If my present acquaintance
is acceptable, I may one day introduce
relative Of mine, who will extend or
circumscribe the dimensions of the
earth to any size so as to be held in
the hollow ola child's hand, or become
so lofty as to be invisible to the eye
He is not less earthly, much more hea-
venly, not less mighty, well described
in the world already, and equally non
descript as l am; but though he is my
relative and of the same age as my
self, he is about as like to me as violet
is to aloe. AS to my common duties,
l am the carpenters & cabinet makers
friend, and regulate and direct the man
ufacture of tables, doors, windows and
establishments, giving them
perfection with much rapidity and
beauty; am found in every leaf of a
book from the law of Moses, in one
roll of parchment of sixty-six yards
long, to the humble pages of child's
two cent volume. I am the chiefprop
of the art of umbrella making, & have
poised the car of many balloon by
my intimate connection with the prin-
ciple of gravity * the attraction OF
cohesion. 1 am a friend TO watch
makers; there are none of them able to
mark time without my aid. But
though devoted to that species ofpride
which distinguished titled barons in
darker ages; friend to mechanics. |
am no mechanic myself, yet have done
even what Archimedes left undone;
for it is I that span the orbits in which
the worlds move and mark their pro-
erosion. Not only does every book
and type and engraving in the world,
bear witness to my humble or exhalted
power, and every author on theology,
philosophy, necromancy or geography,
acknowledge my rank; but the extin-
guisher Of the candle which turns light
into darkness, and the stars as they
shine, and even the planets when they
are eclipsed, only throw more light on
my prowess, and make my importance
more visible. The share Ihave unhaP
PLY held in war, proves that l am emit
tied to as much, and if it be not ego
tism, much more admiration than any
of the conquerors Of the world. Twas
the first and moving aid to Alexander
when l aided Titus to take Jerusalem.
l baffied Marcellus at Syracuse. The
Romans at Gamma; and the descendants
tof Tyre at Carthage and out of regard
to knowledge, drew aside the veil
which else would forever have envelo.
ped, and, perhaps, hid, the beauties Of
Homer, Virgil, Cicero, Plutarch and
Milton. More naturally an ally to ma.
ture than art, first helped the Nautil
us to lift his little sail, and caused man
to learn from shell fish, how he nigh,
traverse the ocean and open the doors
of commerce to the world. l landed
Caesar when he invaded the Britons,
and, without treachery, aided them in
their defence. l combatteI both Har'
old and William at the Battle Of Has
tings, and decided the victory. was a
companion with Bonaparte at Malmai
son and Austerlitz; with Alexander, al
Dresden and Labach; aided Canute to
rebuke his courtiers; and was active
among hundreds with Washington
when he beat up the English quarters
at Trenton and Princeton, and led
| Hows a long, wearisome march
through the Jersies. have i'll me still
more of the ancient and modern classic
than the warrior, though | have ranged
many cannon shot-as wellas bristleo
many a Macedonian spear. Attached
to the classics of nature above all others
vet l condescended to be the friend Of
Plato and Pythagoras, for did despis'
Quinctilian, though to grave to rela'
| into a smile at the silly manner in
which school boys sometimes quote
him. instructed Euclid, & demon
strated the mighty powers OF Newton
mind. I am always ready to assist al
men to lose one day in their lives, ant
have done so to the admiration OF the mos
virtuous and pious Of men. Franklin wa'
an economist of time, but no man wa
more pleased than he at my Power o
teaching man to lose a day. In m!
movements, l am as exact as an uner
ing chronometor. have much to d'
with the ringing ofbells and Vibration
of pendulums, and, though often In TIT
very centre Of percussion, without mt
the sun would not have been eclipseo
nor the moon quietly enter the might!
one of the earths shadow. Not "a!
of solar light beams on the universe ou
l regulate its course; and indeed, MAJ
say, without derogating from Onn!po
tence in his least attributes, that bine
the sweet influence Of Orion and TIT
Pleiades-and guide Arcturus and hi
sons. / shine in mirrors, and when
spectre appears ! make him visible ane
aid his motions. I have displayed thi'
fete, & will do it again in the presenc.
of philosophers. Ihelped the able ane
] eloquent Wrt to confer favor On lie