Constitutional Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1824-1832, 1825-10-07

~SNNSs
The will must be honest if wish the judgment to be
tormentins itch for following up my good luck, as
erned it, set upon devisiug excuses for violating my
hedge to my wife, aud shutting quibblins too
onemptoe for purpose. had promised never 10 play
Mat house,; if had not actually said So
meant to there could be forfeiture OF my word
therefore, If Miserable sophistry! yet
Setched as it satisfied my conscience for the
nentso easily is weak dcluded into criminal ndu
sence. Fortified with such valid arguments l made my
seo al the Salon DIES Entrangcrs, and after two hour
Sittng had the singular good luck return home win
ner OF neatly much had gained the first Success
Tor once mnde me moderae in the humility of prosperous
play resolved only continue Till had thousand
pounds, when would communicate my adventures to my
VIE with solemn abuation of the pursuit in futures aud
as considered myself in possession of the certain ct
winning whatever pleased, took credit myself for
extreme moderation. From Frescati, the of my
THIRD auep, by lucky rather unucky fatality which
my subsequent experience only rcrcrs the wonerf
retired with exceeding the whole of my previous
profits when, like the tiger winch is rendered nsatiae by
the taste of blood, instantly became for larger
riches; and already rcpenting the paltry limitation Of the
day before determined proceeding unit, had doubled
lis amount. Another days luck, and this would
have been spurne for neither Jonsons sir EpicuIc Mann
mon, nor Maysngers Luke, Pope's Sir Balaan,
derwcn more rapid development of the latent devils of
ambition lndsnc visions of grandeur foated before my
eyes, my already seemed to be stepped III vague
masnhcence; and sleep presenting TO the images
through magniying glass, went forth next morning 10
the accomplishment of my destiny with exaliaton of
mind little short of deliriu,n.
Weak aud wicked reveries, single turn of Fortune
wheel reduced me, not 10 reason, but opposite
'reme OF modification and dependence of illuc
swept away in one hour than half my gains and
fortunately losing my temper still than my money,
kept doubling my stakes in the blindness rage and
quilted tine table ut night only lghtencd of all my sud-
denly acquired wealth. but loser of Il considerable sum
besides could now Judge By experience the bitter
Of soul that had lately inflicted uro those who had
lost what had and iEwardy cursed
Qualifications could only spring from miseics others
but far from abandoning this W of wretch
| l IF iuef,r
pcy, and burnt with the desire of taking my revenge
ne heaf-sIckening detail OF my ntnity, my reverseS,
and my misery, need be followed up. Suffice it to say
that passion, fury, actual phrcnzv of plav, absor
bed every faculty of my soul: mine was worse than
PometHan fate; was gnawcd and devoured by inward
are which nothing could aay. Alas! even poverty
and the CT materials could rucnc it. In my career
OF prosperity felt the fraud practising upon nv
wife, for meant make my peace ten or twenty
thousand pounds in my hand and sincere renunciation
OF gaming i'll my heart; but that was bringing ruin
upon her and chdrcn the of my falsehood and
eacery e'nbtefing the anguish OF my losses plunged me
INTO an unutteTabie renlorse and agony of soul Still
wanted courage make the fatal revelations and at last
only impaired to her in the cowadice Of impending dis
grace.
Nadine Deshouleres says very truly, that be-
GIN by being dupes and end BY hciag bnaves; and an,
ABOUT to confirm by ayowa to which nothing should
nave pced me but the hope of lettering others ty an ex
posure OF my own delinquency. female relation had
RENTED me seven hundred pounds purchase into the
french funds with which my pocket unfortunately
called IT the Salon DIES Entrangers in nv way 10 the stock
brokers', and my evil genius suggesting me that there
was glorious opportunity of recovering my heavy losses
snatched the notes from my pocket threw them on the
table Just before the dealer began and lost, Stunned
by the blow, went home in OF calm despair COM
mnicate the whole to wife III few words possible
and ended by declaring that she beggar md her hus-
band dsgraced forever. "No yet my dear Charles" re-
Piled the generous woman, her eyes bcaming with an aec
tohate sivenes mot yeti may still exclam with the
French king after the battle of Pava, lost every
thhg but orr honour and, while HiQt our losses
are but as grain of sand We may depressed by for
tune, but only be disgaced by ourselyes-As 10
this seven hundred poundsake my ewes-tley wilisell
for more than required; and if present
induce You fly from Paris, and abandon this fatal mr.
SUIT they will assredy become the greatest blessings of our
life"
No repoach passed her lips or fingered in ber o
nor did fan t. observe the decacy which. minelng up
her own fate with mine, soot nv feelings b dis
suisng my Individual guilt under the cloak of Joint mis-
fortune. Noble minded woman Mezentus himself could
NOT nave devised more cruel fate than to soul
so dead to shame, and deunct in gratitude as mineI
VIII not the reader oathe and detest me- even worse
man DO myself when inform him, return for all
ts magnanimy had the Getestable baseness to Inner in
Paris to haunt the gaming table, to venture the vrecbrd
DRAWINGS of my in the scer room to become an hab
ua borrower OF paltry under pledges of repayment
which knew had not the means OF releenn1 and N
submit tamey the indignity of papable cuts from INV
quantance in the public From frequently encoun
erng at the saloons had formed slight friendship with
LORD 7, Lord + Sir G. - w -, Colonel
-, and particularly with poor It before he had
consummated the ruin Of his fortune and debilated
his frame by paralysis brought by anxiety; and wa.
upon terms of intimacy with Of my countrvmen
VINO with various success but much more ample means
IMAM myself were making offerings the nmon of Rouos
81 "'o" Should this brief memoir fall beneath the eve
OF any of my quondar friends, they may not impossiblv
derive benefit from its persal: all events they NAV he
pleased TO knew tina: have forgotten their Kindness
am aware that abused their assistance and wore ou
their patience but anticipated the horror to which
IRE exhaustion OF my own means, and the inability ,o
e%'o more IRON others, would reduce The anguish
Of my losses the misery Of my degradation, the agony of
mind with winch reflected upon my impoverished wife aud
family were nothing absolutely u,fhing compared to the
ackng torment of being compelled 10 refrain from ramb
ing 10 sit at the table with empty pockets and see others
playing was absolutely inSupporiabc. enved even the
heaviest oserS-coud have found antagonist, would
nave gamOlcd for an eye, arm, lcg-or life itself
ou'ahn devils seemed to he gnawny my hcarI be-
Icye was mad even hope was.
Yes; have tasked myself tn detail nv moral derrada
ION and utter prostraiion Of character with Gde1it
worthy OF Eousscau himself and feel il dufv not 70
SHRINK from my complete exposure. After niybf passod
~ the state of mind have been describing in one o tosc
'aunts whi'h was justly entitled 10 denomirate He'll
wandered oft at daybreak towards the FONT de Jena as
could cool my parched lips and burning brain by the bcav
shower that was then falling. As the dripping rustics
passed me on their markethorsc singing and ,vlstnp
he happiness, seeming be mockery of nv yyretced