Phenix gazette. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1825-1833, 1825-09-01
NO. 00So

| have heard playing on board a ship
of war. heard a rushing noise with
the music-and the glorious ghost ola
ship went roaring past me, all ilhmin-
ated with lamps-her colours flying
every sail set, and her decks crowded
with men. Perhaps a real ship sailed
by with festivity on board. Or was it
a vision? Whatever it was, I felt no
repining when it passed me by: it SEEM
ed something wholly alienable to ms>
the delirium swallowed up all fear, all
sel6shness; the past and future were a.
like forgotten, and kept floating along,
self questioned nc longer, assured that
I was some how or other a part Of the,
waves and the tempest, and that he
wonderful and beautiful vision that had
sailed by me, was an aboriginal crea-
ture of the pecan. There was unspeak-
able pride and grandeur in this deliri-
um. was more intensely conscious
of a brighter existence than | ever was
in the most glorious dream, and instead
of fearing death, l felt as if / were inn
mortal.
This delirium, I think, must have
gradually subsidized during a kind OF
sleep, for dimly recollect mixed ina
ges Of pain and pleasure, land and sea,
storm and calm, tears and laughter. l
thought | had a companion at my side,
even her I best loved, now like an an
gel comforting me and now like myself
needing to be c~omforted, lying on my
bosom, cold, ~drenched, d~espairing and
insane, and uttering with pale CULVER
ing lips the most horrid and dreadful
imprecafons. Once / heard, me tho't,
a voice crying from below the waves,
I" Hast thou forgot Theresa" And
looking down I saw something like the
glimmering of a shroud come slowly
upwards, from a vast depth to the sur
face of the water. l stopped down TO
| embrace it, and in a moment a CHASTITY
blue-swollen face defeatured horribly,
as if BY gnawing teeth of sea-monsters,
dashed against mine; and as it sank a.
| again, I knew well to whom belonged
the streaming hair. But awoke. The
delirium was gone, and | was at once
a totally different creature. awoke
into a low, heartless, quaking, CULVER
ing, fe~ar-haunted, cowardly and weep
ing dependency, in which all fortitude
was utterly Frustrated. The excite
ment had worn out my very soul. A
corse rising out of a cold clammy
grave could not have been more wo-
begone, spiritIess, bloodless. Every
thing was seen in its absolutely dread
full reality. l was castaway-no hope
of rescue. 1t was broad daylight, and
the storm had ceased; but clouds lay
round the horizon, and no land was to
be seen. What dreadful clouds! Some
black as pitch, and charged with thun-
dei;-others like cliffs of fire; and here =
and there all streamed over with blood.
1t was indeed a %sullen, wrathfuI, dcs.
pairing sky.
The sun itself was a dull brazen orb,
cold, dead, and beamless. l beheId
three ships afar of, but all their heads
were turned away from me. For whole
hours they would adhere motionless to
the sea,yhile i drifted away from
them; andth a rushing wind would
carry them one by one into the dark
ness of the stormy distance. Many
birds came close to me as if to flap me
with their large. spreading wings,
screamed round and round me, and
then flew away in their strength, and
beauty, and happiness.
now felt myself indeed dying. A
calm came over me. prayed devort-
ly forgiveness Of my sins, for all my
friends on earth. A ringing was in my
ears, and | remember only the hollow
fluctuations of the sea with which I
seemed blended, and a sinking down
and down an unfathomable depth which
/ thought was Death, and into the
kingdom ofthe eternal future.
awoke from insensibility and obi
won with a hideous racking pain in
my head and loins, and in a place of
utter darkness. / heard a voice SAY,
" Praise the Lord" My agony was
dreadful and cried aloud. Wan, glim-
mering. melancholy lights kept moving
to and fro. A hideous din was over
head, and around me the fierce dashing
Of the waves. ! was lying in the cabin
of a ship, and kindly tended by a hu-
name and skillful man. | had been
picked up apparently dead and cold
The hand of God was there.
r.