Constitutional Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1824-1832, 1825-09-27
From Pau!d,ng's Letters.
THE BATTEAUXMAN AND WAGNER


THE BATTEAUXMAN AND WAGNER
Yesterday laid by at the little town of W
court time and two lawye the pick OF the whole
country around, TO take the field against each
Other III SUIT between WAGNER aud a battcauxmau
I'D case oil assault and battery You to understand
the beautiful river Shenandoah passes not far from this
town, anu is nayigabc for batteaux; while If no ORIENT
distance runs the great western road which is travelled
by The west country wagOucrs-some of whom YOU
know are ''haf horse, half agator;n Others s,nart
earthquake and little Of the steam boat:u and others
copoundcd, according TO their accounts OF inrre
diens altogether different from the common constituent
parts oi the rest of mankind. The batteauxmer are
ior the most part composed of materials equally ccnbus
uoe; AMI the consequence is that occasionally when
they meet, they strke fire. and blow lp the powder
magazine each carries about him in tue form of n
heart.
The history of the present contest as detailed bv the
counsel Tor the plaintiff is follows: One summer even
ing, wien the !d arr the purple light the .~recn earth
anu the blue sky all seemed invite 10 peace and re-
pose the bateauXan fastened his boat TO the stu2p of
tee lighted his fife 10 bro his bacon and began TO
sing that famous song OF - The OpOssu up the gum
Tree" by and lay west country WAGNER Glanced 10
GENE Jn9ng las bells that way, and, stopping his wa
gon unlocked is horses carried ,he 10 the little
trough at the back of his vehicle gave them some shorts
sat himself down nj Tie top Of the bank, below which
he 6atea4Xian was sitting in his bu&t. and BEGAN tc
whistle, The battcauXuIaI robbed the old WoinanS
hcn-roosi" The battcauXman cooked up his eve al
tine WAGNER, and the wogorer looking askance down
on Tie oatteauXAan took chevy Of tobacco with leeT
that was particularly irritating. The batteauxmar
drew out his whiskey bottle tool. drink and put the
cork III again, at the same time thrugunm his tongue
Ill ms cneek IN manner not TO be borne. The wagon
or Mapped his hands against his hips and Cr0wed like
COCK; the OateauXmau curved his neck, and nciehed
like horse Being, however, of rather pAlegma-
TIC habits, they kept their tenpers so far as not 70 come
10 blows Iust then In few minutes the WAGNER swore
che had the handsomcst sweetheart of any man in al
Hreenorlar." The batteauXrpan jumped up in pas
sIon' but sat down again and took drpk. In a few
minutes the WAGNER ''he bad the finest horse
any man IN hundred miles, The baiteauXman boun.
ced up pulled the waist5and of his trousers, took
Their drink, and bounced down again. & minute after
the WAGNER swore he had better rifle than any man
tlIat ever wore a blue Jacket" This was too much
Tor the battcauXrnan Jacket of that colour and
OF course TINS amounted to personal insult Besides
TO attack mans rle Ii e could have borne any re-
Hecon on his sweetheart his horse; but TO touch his
rlue was 10 touch ms honour. OF went the blue Jack.
ell the batteauXman scrambled up the bank and set Ia
commenced, that erded in the total discontinue of the
WAGNER with the loss OF three OF his grinders and the
gam oil divers black and bloody bruises" honest
Ahhgow says The baucauxman waited till the moon
rose, when he went whstlng down the stream TO carry
The news OF his victory TO OLD Potomac; and the pocl
WAGNER went ''to take the aw,n as a man saws when
the law is about to take him.
The honest bauteauxnau was arrested on nis return
Tor assault and battery on the west country ,vag,er
IL beng you know, the great object of the law TO find
out winch party in the wrong the LAWYER of ,c
sc dooTs OI course 10 throw the lmputation his adj
verSaTyS client 1t appeared clearly enough that tie
nateau'nan made the first assault but it also appeared
III evidence, that growing like a cock was direct chal-
Ghge according 10 the understanding of these people;
nat 10 unieIyaiue bateauxmans sweetheart or
morse whether ne had any not was mortal insult;
ia lHSt 10 iS!nua'e any neriority in his rifle was an
oi'eice winch 10 could put up with without dsbo
''' nat suca points OF honor constituted the chiyal-
W OF these people; that class of mankind is without
o'he'A'Hg OF tins naure-at however low man NAV
DE- mere are insult he submit to- without being
u's%raced among his equals who constitute his world
IG mat 10 ooiige him III any SITUATION 10 put ND will,
aSrace WAS to dcbae his nature and 10 DESTROY every
manly principle within linn Grjng as this case NAV
appear 1t called forth display OF talent and depth OF
H''gation as to how far was possible, and if posi-
pc ho" lar was sanitary attempt to repress the
operation OF those feelings which spur men in all stna
ions TO AVOID disgrace at the risk of every thing that
gave me nigh idea Of the two advocates They we're
Doth Young men, 10 the bar, &c. vet they spoke with
degree OF iuency well as sclf-possessi0n which !
seldom exhibited by young lawyers the cities whose
genus Is too frequently rebuked by the presence of an
audience they can hardly hope please, dshearteneJ
oy inc SnPcrcous airs of the elder counsel or over
powered by the dcadenng sense of inierority