Richmond enquirer. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1815-1867, 1825-05-10
VARIETY.
From the London .FetD .bfoatAiy .Hag0zine
INSURANCE AND ASSURANCE

INSURANCE AND ASSURANCE
q" 1t Is inconceivable 10 tie virtuous and praise
NTorthy part of the world who have been born and
bred to respectable idleness, what terrible straits are
yhe lot OF those scandalous rogues whom Fortune
Las left 10 shift for themselves?'' Such was nv
feeling ejaculation when, full of penitence for the
Elm OF urgent necessity, wnded my way 10 the
attorney who had swept together and, for the most
part, picked up the crumbs which fell from my IA
theirs table. He was little grizzled, sar donic
animal, with features which were as hard as his
heart. and fitted their leather Jacket tightly that
one would have thoEght 1t had shrunk from wash
ing, or that they had bought it second hand and
were pretty nearly out at the elbows. They were
completely emblcmatic of their professor, whose
religion it was 10 make the most Of every thing
and, amongst the rest, of the disresses OF his par
ocular friends, amongst whom had the happiness
Of standing very forward. My business required
tlt little explanation, for / was oppressed by
neither ren-rolls nor title-deeds; and we sat down
20 consider tie readies of turning an excel
ien income for one year into something decent for
few more. My adviser, whose small experienced
eye had twinked through all the speculations of the
oge, and, at the same time, had taken very exact
adneasurement of my capabilities of turning them
to advantage, seemed 10 lie Of opinion that war
III for nothing earth. For undertaking l
wanted application, for another wanted capital.
Now, said he SO the first of these deficiencies
~ irremedlabe, we must do what to supply
he latter. Take my advice,--Insure your life for
a few thousands; you will have but little premium
pay, for you look II you would live for ever;
aud from my knowledge OF your rattle-pate ed habits
and tbs various chances against you, | will give
you a handsome sum for the Insurance." Neces-
sity obliged me to acquiesce in the proposal, and
assured The old cmmoTant that there was every
likelihood Uf my requing his bberality by the
IrremittIng pcrSev in all the evil habits
which had procured me his countenance We
a. i
volunteered to accompany me TO an Insurance Of
+ice, where they were supposed estimate the du-
ration OF Il mans life TO quarter of an hour and
odd seconds.
We arrived little before the business hour, and
we're shown into large room, where we found
several more spectators waiting ruefully for the
oracle TO pronounce sentences In the centre was
large table, round which, at equal distance, were
placed certain little Jumps of money, which my
'riend told me were TO reward the Hbourers of the
lnqulsiton, amongst whom the surplus arising from
absentees would likewise be divided From the
Seenness with which each individual dared upon
rs share and ogled that Of his absent neighbour
surmised that some of my fellow sufferers would
iind the day against them. They would be exam
,ned by eyes capable of penetrating every crevice
OF their constitutions, by noses which could smell
rai ? mile of, and hunt a guinea breast high How
indeed could plague or pestilence, govt gluttony
expect to Turk in its hole uDdistuTbed when sur
roui ded by pack of terriers which seemed hungry
enough 10 devour another? Whenever the
'Oor slammed, aud hey looked for an addition to
heir CT they seemed Tor all the world as though
0ey were going to bark; and if straggler really
entered and seized upon is moety, the intelligent
look OF vexa'io" -~ -i-ey like hat Of a dog
'ho BIAS 'c zen ten or a dozen Of
..,, Inc iabouTs of the day
80, OF our adventures for raising supplies upon
i,,3r 81 81 4
conceit that they were b. means circumscribed
"a foundation for such project. In vain did The
,'oard endeavour to pursuade them that they were
'e.f dead already. They fought hard for few
more years, syyore hat their fathers had been almost
immortal, and that their whole families had been as
telaciois Of life, eels themselves AIasi they
,fere first ordered into an adjoining room, which
-oon learnt wdsthe CONDEMNED cell, and then deli
.otely informed that the establishment could have
iotling TO say them. Some indeed had the good
uck be rep9ieved LILLE logger but even these
I'D not elect very hatteIing OF advanta geous
bargain. One old gentleman had a large premium
10 pay for tOtter in his knees; another for an ex
roordnary circumference 10 the girth; and dowa-
gcr Of high respectsbiliy, who was afflicted with
certain undue proportions Of width, was fined most
oxofbitanuy. The only customer who met with
any thing like satisfaction was gigantic man Of
Ireland, with whom Death. thought, was likely
70 have puzzling contest.
How old are you, SkP' enquuea on exam
Ger.
Forty"
" You seem strong man"
" ] sm the strongest man in Ireland
" But subject 10 the govt"
Moths rheumatism. IN Othing else, upon
ny soul"
:" What age was your father when he ded2n
"Oh, hs stss Jsuegs bot Asn he vas killed in
Afsvtg