The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware register., 1825-03-24

10 come imme Iaselv. John with his short
croppsd hair and dirty frock on. presently
came in and tsnk his seat by squire Peas,
and with his enormous paws, laid hold OF the
pen and p2Psv. Then Mr.. Augustine With
great gravity and emphasis said-Mr Con-
stable. what defeace hath been committed,
what crime hath been distributed, and how
hath the peas Of the state been broke and
windicated!
Constobk.-Onv sir, here is one Mary
Blab ma, lost q gown, and says that Dolly
light6nyev stole i, and so thought as how
would bring them before you.
yus.iee-t gown stolen. WHY that's down
right forgery BY law. Bring the complain
ant Dolly Light6nger before me.
Consfa6le-This is the woman s'r.
yustiee--IIussv, how came you to have the
fire of the law before your eyes, and steal
this weman's gown! You are AN equisou'
baggage and will 70 to the cells
DsHy--I did not steal her gown, sir.
yustiee-Well here's a quandary VIII!
now here's the woman coascsses she did moi
r,eal the gown; where's the defendant Ma
~ p,ab, addressing her) How come you
70 tl;schar,c Dolly Iighthngcr with stealing
YOUR cow for she denies her innocence of it
NARY Bkab--lndeed, sir my gown was
hanging Oh gooscberry bush in the garden
and lssaw Dolly Lighhager take it oft with
nv own eyes.
DoNv--Iherc's is no belief in what She
saws. sir; she lies, shes liar, sir, liar, IL
az.
.Jusfice woman, pes, 'oroid you
hold your tongue.
Mayv Blat-I swang, sir, what ] say il as
true as preachin; looked through the win
dow. and saw her take IT, FOR l was at that
time frying bacon for my husbands dinner
Jus.ire--Frying bacon! woman was you
frying bacon?
111ry-Yes, sir, and some cabbage for my
husbands dinner, he desired me-.
.Tustice-Vhere's the wonan's husband:
Thomas Blab--!ie-c, Squire, at vonr will
.Iustice-Did Won desire your wife to try
bacon for your dinner'
Thomas Yes, sir. and with some cabbage
Justice-Ah, here's plot found out; here
discovery! Why frying bacon is high
misdamner by law, and YOU shall both go to
the girl house and he hanged. Mr.. Constable
take them into cursetodav, and do YOU John
Scrub, make out mittimousc, for they shall
go this instant.
Constablc-Well, Squire, what shall dc
with Dorothy I.ightfinger'
Justice-O, charge her and let her go a.
bout her business.
Johns paws scrawled out a mittimus and
the constable carried off the bacon fricrs
10 iail. there to await trial at the next county
sessions, while the other party was dis
chlrged Feeling "a desire TO know how
this case would eventuatc, l'attended at the
next court of judicature. The judges were
sitting on the bench, and number OF black
coats sat around the green table. MIR a.
custus Peas, esquire, came into court An"
with an air Of Importance took his seat mol
far from the bench. Presently the trial Of
Thomas and Mary Blab, for frying bacon
was called up For frying baeon'' qnoth
the Judge, what is the meaning Of this'
never heard that frying bacon was crime
or against the law before: who committed
these pcrsons?
Mr.. Augustus-I committed them MAJ i
please your honor, it is against the law ant
high misdamner
Judge-Prav, Mr.. Justice, show me tn
law, for never before in all my life, hear'
~ sGch one.
Mr.. Augustus-Here i, the book, you
homer, and here is the place. Giving tn
book to the judge.)
The grave gentleman put on his specs
and cast his eyes for moment on the pag
before him, his countenance exhibiting
strong desire in his visible faculties to ea
press his feelings. At length he informe
the court that the law which Mr.. Anguish
Peas had taken to be against irving bacot
vas that against firing Beoeon. II ma
be easily supposed tn At even the august pres
cscc Of Augustus Peas, Esquire could re
strain the wits d the bar, and the Who'll
court burst4>s out into loud laugh at tn
ludicrous mistake. The prisoners were re
leased with permission TO go home and Fl
their bacon without molestation.