American watchman and Delaware advertiser. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1822-1828, 1825-01-21
FOR THE WATERMAN.

If there is being in existence whose fate is worthy of
universal conmseraton 1T that of involuntary bach
eor say Involuntary, for my remarks will meet no cor
responding sensation in the bosoms of those phlegmatc
morlas who live single from choice. My may be
singular but is nevertheless true. And there are
any of the numerous readers of the Watchman who
point out e6ecta remedy and give publicity, they
will be entitled to my unfegned gratitude
After completing my education, and entering into bust
ness the first wish Of my heart to select aniabe
woman, partner for ife but, my natural difdence
excessive that continually erected barriers in my
way and when, last, relation of my father introduced
me, at teapary, to Of young ladies' my confl-
sion was so great, and the bumpngs Of my heart became
oppressive was strongly tempted to take French leaves
but lived through the evening" and secretly determined
to make myself very agreeable to the beautiful girl es-
corted home but simple eyes SIR or " no sir" was
all could obtain and discovered, when too late, that
had nnocenty traversed her plans and by ociosness
prevented the attendance Of her avorte BEAU The fear
of of such dilemma this, together with
my natural bashfulness, kept aoof when company
was about Dispensing and not unrequently had the
modification to walk home solus, when other young men
were tripping gay along with their sprghty partners
whilst rarely INDUCED with the delightful sensation
produced in the thrilling breast by feeling the light pres
OF lovely female hand, as rested for support on
the freely preferred How enved those who were
happy have sisters to introduce them into female
society," under the favorable auspices became quite
dspirited, and buried myself in my books but at length
aroused from my moody dream, by the wit and ANNA
ton of my charming cousin Helen, who came to pass
fortnight with She successfully rallied me on my re-
tired of spending my leisure evenings and strong
recommended
seriously about it but how to obtain that valuable article
whose price above rubies the question resolved
and reresoved and letter the subject from my uncle
decided me look amongst my equals, as to age, birth
and fortune for the old gentleman very correctly obsery
ed in concluding his epse, Si qua Wis ape nubere, nube
pari To the truth of his remarks, mentally assented
procured introduction TO Serena, lady nearly Of
my age and although had heard her called "bue
stocking "unemnne, &c., continued to visit at heI
fathers house quite regularly and almost made up my mind
to bob the question but the evening had resolved to make
he eufln
The family being in the paror despalred OF an oPportu
Unity but when arose TO go, the lady followed me to the
door, through long dark entry this seemed the OF
sought for, and suspicious moment and fastened to i'm
prove it but when in order to break the ice, attempted
10 press my trembling lip 10 her soft cheek, she seized
huge of her fathers that stood nopporuney behne
1.-The door, and began belabor soutly, that wa
under the necessity of taking very unloverke leave
Thus ended my courtship with Serena.
After the lapse of some time resumed courage enough
to offer seat my gig to the admired Clarissa who wa
1 going visit into my uncles neghborhood She wa
lively and free in her manners; but when attempted
sound her. with TO her matrimonial views she frank
tly told me her heart not her own
Now what is be done, in such With the ~er
highest ideas of connuba felicity, seriously apprehen
sve shall be doomed to live unmarried, and TO verify
my melancholy experience, the truth OF the poet
Ubi wells nolunt ub nos vount uro,
Concessa pudet ire via,
The very Young ladies' and misses in their teens ggg
Whenever appear; and the hateful term of Old Bach,
often rung in my add TO this s OF mseries, the I'm
mercif lectures OF the married people, on the suoect
ma,rmony, considering me at the same time good but
for their wit and fact old codger with most pro
d vokng grim had the insoence to compare to AN od
half Of pair of scissors, good for nothing but TO scrape
II treneher.
After suffering all this, if make the slightest approach
towards an intimacy with any lady, am bored 10 death, b
malicious reports and watched by the ne @smongers,
report collectors until retire in despair My visits TO on
house in this Borough were so narrowly observed that
unders God some particular friends of the lady in question
made their regular business TO watch the top OF the chin
ney Of the best paro TO if any smoke issued theeon
on Sundav e4eiags Thus am tormented; and feeln
some symptoms Of my former diidence returning, am
BODILY fear of dying, or what much worse Of bring an
i OLD BACHELOR.