The Wilmingtonian., 1824-04-15
THE BACHELORS PETITION.
The petition Of the old Bachelors, OF RlchInondt t1
the Ladies, humbly sheweth

The petition Of the D0 DdcaetOIS, ol hiSii"'oha "
the Ladies, humbly sheweth
That we, your petitioners, having long viewed
with deep regret, the decided preference which
YOU manifest towards our more youtiiiui riVais,
haze come to determination OF laying our sepe-
rate claims once more before you. f"mr pet-
TONERS are truly sorry that all their ei.oris TO
please you have proved unavalng-snd that the
candor and ervor by which they have always been
scluated, in addressing you, should nave oeen
unfortunately lost sight Of amidst the incense OF
fat,ery which is daily offered al your shrines by
the conceiled gallants of the present day Some
OF US in our matrimonial pursuits, may have been
governed by mercenaray motives, yet have we
not sacrificed them at the altar of affection Cor
scious of the degrading epithet Of Old Bachelor,
which is undeservedly applied to us, we approach
ycu will .I.sre ti..lid:ty and embarrassment, tlan
ever We experienced in the first saies OF our
youth. When we enter your presence, It Is WIN
| fear and diRidence. of which We can give you no
adequate tlescription--and the Woids we Eou'u
utter become frozen within our lips. lfperchance
more youthful gallant hands you to the tiano
the inccssant gsrrulity OF his tongue depiives US
of the faculty Of our speech. and we ave compel
| led to withdraw and coi.cea our chaSrin y. some
secret corner ofthe house.
| Til, many parties at which you have shone 'orth
in all the brilliancy o.. your charms during the
| past winter have been another source OF great
alarm On these occasions We were the victims
of that mortiica'ion and Jealousy, which our de-
porable situation was calculated TO produce -
| At these heel and toe excursions, the yoathHui
candiae for your hand was sure to be preferred
and the ominous words would ever ana anon
ring in our ears " Sir, | am pre- engaged.
| Your petitioners appeal to all your sensibities,
and ask YOU, whether it Is not truly morsiiy ylns
that we should be styled Old Bachelors, when we
use every effort 10 change our situation! Mght
we not step forward and interrupt the mnis'er'
when performing the marriage ceremony, lie pro.
nounces-"f If any know why these two should
not be joined together, let them say SO now OF
! forever aier hold their peace I" Might we NOT
| tell him that VIC had prior claim on her aiiec'
! ons :
| An unfortunates that we are! we have often
knralt III humble suppicaton tthe altar OF beau.
ty, and pined away in solitude Tor llie OBJECT o.
our alteration; but al in vain Our situation is
deplorahle, and the hnary hand Of time threatens
us with the horrors of perpetual celihacy.
| We appeal to your sympathes. We appeal 70
yonr interests. Consider what would be your
own feelings, If the terrible eplhet OF old
Maids" s,.ond ever come to salute your ears. AS
you would pray to escape from that state of sin
Gle blessedncss"-is you would fly from 1t with
| all YOUR hearts-as you world invoke every pow
er of mercy 10 remedy your iorlorn situation II
| YOU should ever arrive at IL, We conjure you 10
feel for us to listen with mercy to our prayers
and if you c,nno, give us your affections, al least
give us your compasscn. Forbear the use OF al
| epthet which cuts US to the quick and do rot by
word OF manner ta,lnt us with our situation Save
us at least from the cruel name of Old Bache'
or."
There is some respect even IN the title OF an
l.sO Old Maid" Her utility has been developed
and her praises have been sung, by Haley. She
is the nurse Of the sicS the friend OF the untor
tunate; she is at least wonani ever kind, eyel
considerate, except TO "oid hachc'ors one shafe'
the affecting culopies which have been uttered
Ibv Led,ard in favour of the female sex. Bu
what poet has ever sung our praises What au
thor has thought i, worth his willie to write de
fence OF O,d Bachelors!
We intreat you to favor us with one ray othope
and not 10 abandon us TO unutlerahie despair
and as in duty bound, your petitioners will eve
prav. &c. sc. TIMOTHY THORNLY,
j BAnNABY BONIFACE,
Gum malls atiis.
| Hache!ors, Hall Rissextile wear