The Alexandria herald. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1811-1826, 1824-05-21
CoLLEGIAN AND THE PORTER.


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CoLLEGIAN AND THE PORTER.
AT Trin. Col. Cam. which means in
proper spelling, Presided
Firmly College, Cambridge, there
Dne Harry Dasbington---a youth excel
ling
IN al The learning commonly provided
For those who choose that classic station
For finishing their education -
lha' IS he understood computing
The odds at any race or match
Was dead hand at pidgeon- shooting /;
Gould kick up rows--kuock down the
watch
Play truant and the rake at random
DIink-tie cravais-and drive a tam
dem.
Remembrance. fine, and rustication,
So far from working reformation,
Seem'd but to make his lapses greater,
Til he was warD'd that next offence
Would have This certain consequence
Expulsion from his Alma Mater.
ODe need not be necromanccr
10 guess, that, with so wild a wight,
The next offence occur'd next night /;
When our incurable came rolling
Home as the midnight chimes were
,olling,
And rang the college bell--No answer.
The second peal was yain--the third
Made the street echo its alarum
When to his great delight he heard
The so-rlid Janitor, old Ben,
housing and growing in his den.
Whose there IL s'pose young Harum-
scarum,
'Fis my worthy Bep-'tis Harry
CAV. sol thought-and there You'll tarrv,
lis past the hour-the gates are closed,
fqn know nv orders-l shall lose
NJ, place If I undo the door,
'And i-(young hopeful interposed)
'Sha.l be exaell'd if vou refuse,
So pIythee'-Ben began 10 snore.
I'm wet cried Harry, 'o the skin,
Hip halloo Beu-doD't be pinnv !;
Beneath the gate I've thrust guinea,
So tumble out and let me ia.'
Hump ! growl'd the greedy old curmud
geon
Half overload and halfin dudgeon,
'Now YOU may pass but make no fuss,
On tiD:oe walk, and hold your prate.'
look on the stones, old Cerberus,
Cried Harry as he pass'd the gate,
sPve drop'd shilling take the light,
You'll find it just outside--good night.
Behold the porter in his shirt,
CursiDg the rain which never stopp'd,
Grouping and raking in the dirt,
And all without success but that
Is hardly to be wopder'd at
Becsuse no shilling had been dropp'd {;
So he gave DER The search at last,
Regain'd the door, and found il fast
With sundry oaths and growls and groans,
He rang once, twice, and thrice and
then,
Mingled with giggling, heard the tones
OF Harry mimicking old Ben.
Nv s there IT'S really a disgrace
7. rig so loud I've Iock'd the gate;
know nv duty It's too late
You won d'ni have me lose my place.
fPsha Mr.. Darlington remember,
This is the middle of November.
I'm stripp'd; it's raining catsaDd dogs
Hush, hush = quoth Hal d; 'Pm fast
asleep;
And then he spored as loud and deep
AS whole company OF hogs.
tBut barkye Ben, I'll grant admittance
Al the same rate paid myself
NAY, master. leave me half the pittance,
Replied the svaricious elf
mo all, or none a full acquiitance
The termssI know,are somewhat high;
But you have 6x'd the price, not
won't take less can't afford its
So, finding all his haggliDg vain,
Ben with an oath and sroaD of pain
Drew out the guinea, and restored il
Surely you'll give me- growi'd the out
witted
Porter, when again admitted,
Something, now you've done your jok'
ing.
For all this trouble, time and soaking
s0h, surely surely, Harry said,
rEy- A