Alexandria gazette & advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1822-1824, 1824-06-10

was no harmony within NE, or upon
me; and that may account for the
fruitless labor bestowed in endea-
voring to learn the gamut, which. like
the Pons Asinorum. was to me impas-
sible, 10y the by, the mathematical
protuberance is somewhat diminu-
tive and why have no delight in
the snowy display of brilliant execu-
ton. I felt also some slight ampli.
tude at the place of destrnctiveness,
which astonished and terrified me
not a little; but it gust be doubtless
an accidental occurrence; some fall,
or blow or thump of my mastePsbam-
boo, which has left its vestiges be-
hind it; TO have not detected any
evidences of it, except perhaps in the
demolition of tops, and toys, and
watches, when was a STRIPPING, to
discover their internal mechanism,
Gas curiosity is peculiarly visible
and some slight warfare since, a
gainst hares and cartridges.
But it does not become me to make
any further discovery of my good
qualities, or you may give me credit
Tor an undue shareof the organ of va
nifty; and as for my bad ones, the
world will doubtless be quick enough
in discovering them.
Impressed with the idea of the pre-
dominance of wit, sailed forth. ca.
ger TO as;ouish my friends with the
unexpected display of it; but (would
you suppose it?) it verify evaporated
in few sorry puns. Yexed at the
failure of my first essay, I curtailed
the offending organ, and gave its
superiority to imagination; ard rails.
ing bright visions Of fame and glory,
which, in themselves, I took to be a
proof Of its activity. ] reused all my
latent energies to climb Parnassus,
and court the smiling muses.. "nt re.
pente sic poeta prod,rsm." By the
aid of Walkers Rhiming Dictionary,
manufactured some have duzen
couplets to my entire satisfaction, till
stumbling upon the word ''silyer"-
10 there was not another word to
match i'll gave up the effort in
despair, grieving that the paucity of
our language, so highly and unjustly
extolled, should oppose the opera
ton of so sthereal a portion of our
brain. Bene. olence then had its
turn of activity. and lavished my
donations with boundless and care.
less profuseness, till a solitary six.
pence in my pocket drove my atten.
ton to another, lamentIng that the
blindness of fortune should destroy
the effects of a disposition so god.
like.
Philoprogenitiveness next claimed
my care; and anxious not to allow so
patriotic and endearing al organ ''to
waste its sweetness in the desert
air." summoned fortitude to look
out for heIpmate; resolved to select
one, not by the ordinary mode OF
youth, or wealth, or beauty, but by
the less fallible means of CraniOlogi-
cal acuteness; and to view the pro-
jections of excellence on whatever
lucky head l found them,
One sweet girl, with light blue
laughing eyes, pleased my fancy, and
soon discerned innumerable pre-
cious bumps about her; alas /! wit.
unhappy wit, stood forth in such for
midable magnitude, that l shrunk
back COnfouHded, and dared not sub
iect myself to its continual influence.
Another black-eyed maid oaptvated
me with her phi!oprogeniti We dimen-
sions, and her plentiful lack of wit,
Ito which, since my first experiment
upon myself. l have had decided a.
version and Ionged to make her
my "mater familias." But prob do
Tor! amativeness, swelling into dire
Importance, dissipated my prospec-
tive happiness, and dared not com
nit my honor to her keeping. A
third, with gay display of goodly
organs, had almost caught me, till a
fortunate gust of wind blew gently a.
side lock of auburn hair, and |
started in alright at the display of
combativene,s; and being of a peace.
full temperament, bade her adieu.
Fie upon all caps and bopnets; and
ie, too, upon those long glossy locks of
silken hair, which | once SO venerated;