The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1824-08-03

~ ~ HfhHA AfFFAAf HfF -
from the straishtaud narrow path, ia which
they were resolved 10 perform, alone and
nnlostlcd, the pilgrimage of life. They
heard, without disnay, the scor4 aud sian.
ders of the hellcs and braux, who, like the
butterflies Of summer, f~nttrred in the gar
den Of ceurtsllip, aud, with all their insect
Inconsistency, fitted among the gaudy
l"wers by which they were attracted
They witlIstood The assaults that were in
erssantly directed against their firmnrss,
by NATIONS, who wished /" to see tlirir girls
settled in hfl,' aud OF old girls, Whose mir
rors told them that it was high time To be-
" engaged" II wa in vain that they were
told ofthc nndarned hose, aud coats out VI
elbows, which poor bachelors arr compel
led to wear, and which thrifty ielpmales
might 81 neatly mend. They listened,
with equal %incrcdulity, Ia what wa related
Ia them of The convenienccs Of married liz,
the value af domestic comforts, the ceono
my of matrimonial establishments, aud the
loneliness n" lodgings for single gentle
men, They opened their ears, but closed
the con,lctiono of their understandings the
calculations that were made, by the rules of
simple satisfaction and compound multi
pllcation, TO prove the waste Of fortune, ia
''i'pi' wv hii ~ thtlthNf, ny Nltf Iulltllbl
of giblets. They looked nj the picture,
which imagination drew, of the happiness
! "'lloyed In duplicated existence, then at the
real comforts vi tAs"iss~,nwln Situation, and
they would not make IN exchange. Tne
a1ticlpali0ns Of the enanored, they ron
trasted with the looks of the married, and
were convinced that
" We dream in cour,bhip, and in marriage
wake"
They were assured, IN MI the enthusiasm
OF metaphor bcwitclIed thai matrimony was
n pure aud placid stream, on which thoy
might glide, without the frar Of rocks or
shallows, their light and fairy banks, decked
with tho splendor Of that peerless boat
which waited the Egyptian Queen To The
Roman trlumvlr, aud lthled to rep0se by
swceicr music than breathed its melody
around her. They cast thelr eyes upon the
vessel which bore the happy couple, with
their household concerns, bag and baggage,
aud II wasau unwiel1y, u"nmanagrable bulk,
tossed about upon Il bolstcrous sea, wnb
no other streancrs 81 sails than tatteicd
raiment, and no softer music lhau the crirs
of lutte ones. They resolved, yet move
slurdlly, not 10 trust themselves 10 such n
mode OF conycyanctAln such a treachefous
element, 10 keep steadily along the safe
surface of terra frma.
We are neither lilrIlrrs Of other mems
dolnSs, nor punsteIs upon Other peoples
words aud if, while we say that we now
ilid up the mirror Of fact To the sunbcams
of our worthy seniors lives, 3" 10 show VII
tue her ira" image we should be accused
Of CdSting refeciio1s upon the character Of
those Who are suld MIC bondage, and com
PEELED lo make lhrir bricks without straw,
or of d~azziiag The tye with our own superior
fciIc.ty, We eau say, with good conscious
ness, that We are gul!tlrss. We care not
" what other mcu think Of" married " life
bat az for ourselves we envy ltnot N"rdp
W. wish. by any resolutions OF oGi own, Ia
make any alterations, additions or amend
mcnt5 10 the real condition Of those who
ere Joined ia wedlock. All we ask of Mem,
IS a full aad free euIoymcnt OF or prescott
self possession To be allowed III" lndul
bcnce Of our simple apprehehslons ,"lihnal
being deprived of our reason by The rom
pick idras Of mattimo0y. live have con
founded the principles of logic, and faiicd,
either to lay down correct premises, or 10
raise up VIE tourlusions, lei Us br punish
ed f0l Ounces, aud ridieulcd by every dab
bier IN syiloglsms.
Do we reiniec over The comforts Of our
condition with The folly Of the siinPleton,
who k1OWs not what he says ? Are the
mi7fortunrs Of oar united opposites less
substantial than we represent them, or our
own pleasures more visionary than We feel
them 10 be- : With the origin and progrrss
of conjugal being, we do not concern our
selves, bat are content to know aud see lis
prcscut state. Aud what Is il ; iftle meek
spIfit af Socrates, tie wiSo3t Of phll0s0
pliers aud the best of hsailens, could re
tnrn Com EiysiLm, and relate the sullrriugs
iu1irtedu pou t,WI,ilc IL animated his frame,
by The clanorou5 lungs Of his t%rrmagaDt
wife, w would know what matrimopy was
II auc.rof days, and fancy truly what II nov
is. II the iftlr sugar and mech NORWOOD
winch have been mingled III the cup of
married life, by so many, who were in
such haste 10 drink Of iir were applied To
our lips, olr involuntary wry faces would
1,tray our luathiug, 81 teach AS not 10 make
deliberate mouths At unoiicndipg bachelors.
Could we take a peep m The doprstic firc
side count the ragged aud INV astci uF-
Gins that crowd around It take "A copy
Of the natrna's face, "a she pOHrs out To-,
or upbtdldIISs lof her good man anu
watch his twitchings al the Wristbands of
his indisren,ibIe5, we might be lnsilllrd IN
Our sinsnIarlty Of existence, aud Stop tie
mouths of our prosecutions. Were "" 10
refer our calumnltiors 10 The records of
Doctors Common, aud persuade ,lem 70
investigate their origin, we sho0ld no lon
ger he denounced, as morose, cyricdl, od
dities. and hear our peculiar customs tra-
d,lced or our unsIiaten chins lnsuIted.-
! Gal we shall NEEDLE with neither Of these
nnsightly things, 10 draw down upon our
/ heads sruldiog water fl ON The kitchen, and
~Gowriugs from the parlor, for they are
already familiar enough 10 those who have
4 greater part and lot in The matter than
ourselves.