Edwardsville spectator. [volume] (Edwardsville, Ill.) 1819-1826, 1824-07-20
SPARTACUS.
Mr.. SPECTATOR,

MIR. oPECTATOR,
The Illinois Republican having nei-
,her editor, proprietor, printer, or pub
Usher, and being DESTROYS of getting my
cositalions before the public, am in-
duced to beg the indulgence of column
or two to the following maneuvres to
get Senator elected for the county of
-, lying on the west side of the
Moon. And let it surprise no one that
a communication should come from SO
distant quarter, since learned astro-
homer in Europe has seen roads, fortifi-
cations, and signs OF agriculture in that
planet.
Though l have always made great
professions of my intense devotion to the
interests of the Public, it is all a IS matter
Of moonshine," for never was guilty of
advocating or carrying any important
measure that did not more Immediately
concern my own interest than that OF my
constituents. And can prove this from
the fact that tried hard last session to
get permission to pass private tickets on
Individual responsibility, for circulat-
ing medium, which unfortunately was
sraddied" by an old sturdy Yankee
Ssi'or. Now this would have been a
corvonient appendage 10 bank paper,
and would have Sc, me up in the moor
o. my legs again. Hence from this lie
vo'ion 10 my own interests, | consider il
very Unfair that any one should question
e"'er ny abilities to rule, honesty 10
perforni the duties of Office, or inclination
to serve-my own turn.
In pnrsuing my maoeuvres 10 get the
Scholarship, and carry the convention
ques ion for we moonists believe negroes
would do as much good as your people
OF the earth,) | would get up public din
befs 10 honor of myself, drink toasts to
The great grief OF my brethren, parade
she streets at night, and If the leading
.st~os OF my manpuvering were gained,
r 'vouiu nave no scruple TO furnish can.
dies for grand illumination, and the
breaches for an effigy burning. Having
thus gotier The people INTO an uproar, to
keep up the fun, would lay all the
blame TO the preachers, dec lain with
al vehemence against them, do all in
my power to bring the sacred Office into
contempt, for | hear mortal hatred to
preachers, especially those who will not
serve my turn (though turn at the
helm myself is much better than paying
the pilot and as amongst the rude and
tkcughtless of" moonshine" characters,
it would be fine sport to have the sacred
Office OF the ministry contemplate, |
would cali preachers hirelings"-
b" wolves in Sleeps clothing -" beg.
gars," and many other epithets equally
proper and commendable. II / felt
lit e more than ordinary prejudice
az aInst particular sect, would lay all
the mischief Of every body's making, in
Guiding my own, to that people and in
true moonlight sublimity Of style, COM
pare ihem to an 6 empty wagon run.
niag down stony hill" ASH mout ge,
defeated by these measures, and the peo-
pie get shut OF ine, would declaim with
all my might against political preaching
and priestcraft. But to carry my pur-
poses, would adopt different plan.
/ would spend the tine before meeting
in hriuate electloneering, and do all in
my power to bring the people over to
my views, one by one; then mount the
stand, declAim for an hour or two against
Methodist Missionaries, and learned
pieachets, Just as though the Lord was
dependent on ignorance TO aid his cause.
] would oppose every benevolent society
of the present age, then get down among
the people again, and spend the rest Of
the day as l began it.
As all these plans mout fail, I would
try to obtain MORE influence, and by this
aid would conjure up pretended letters
from one circuit rider to another, get
them printed, then lay all the embarrass-
ments Of the state to the Methodists and
when l could get hold of some simple
booty, who could not or would not think
for himself, l would say, the Methodists
intended to rule the state, were about 10
establish their religion by law, Enough
tie present constitution prohibits that,)
and would sooD compel all others to
worship in their way-I would then
bawl as loud as possible about blue laws,
hanging, burning, whipping, prisons,
racks, gibbets, inquisitions, and the dog
knows what, by which means would SO
beat, bruise, maui, and benumb their
brains, as to deprive them Of the power
Of seeing, hearing, reading, or thinking,
except to vote for me and . cow ension,
till after the first Monday in August next,
and finally to clinch the nail'' would
pull out the pretended letter from one