The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1824-08-03
fs,ieo,d 6rne Virpinian.l

80 tfs,fN - ' - -
Good pious reader, no o1ence | hope!
ihD'a cburchialc be mine, It's not proiane
scorn 10 ~satirize cen TURK or Pope,
Or saiuts of Drnry or OF Warwick Lane.
Once, an old woman las I've heard the story
Resolving she'd no more a heathenlive,
Would OF her piety example give,
So dressed herself for church in all her glory
Twas Ia the country-reader, pray mark that
Where seldom folks disguise their natit'
faces
Yet the old lady had a high crown'd hat
She tho't would nightly call forthth graces
How old might he this venerable relick
The muse not guesses; butthis much eau tell
When Cromwell rul d the roast with cant an
/ gelic,
Hats Of that sort look'd very well,
We're quite III. mode, aud since, ten times,
ween,
In London have the tip-top fashion been.
But in tue country lis another thing
There people wear their clothes 10 kecI
ticm warm,
In russell brown rs fine as any king.
Though not quite fashionable, where's the
HARM
Ye, was this hat Of dress a bIazing comet,
A prodigy indeed,
Whence did such terror.darting beams pro-
coed,
That few came near, but pray'd deliyerance
from il.
We hive short mem'ries, or ! should have said
That honest Ganmer wes no, deeply read
In fact she had mol mastef'dA {,
(CalIed Alphabet by some, as much TO seek
In their own language rs in Greek,)
Nor held OF literary door The key
Yet, sDoth to say,
She Just rs able was 10 rea1 as pray.
The church not occupies a rnsilc's brain,
lie goes Just 10 be christen'd, 10 he wed,
Aud thithrr carried bv his friends when dead,
~ other times he thinks attendance vain,
Nor goes five mites in house OF prsy'rto sleep.
But maps it out nj home, or counts his sheep.
And our old lady had not seen the place
Since there the priest tllrrv water in her face,
Nor what to DO when she TO church was come,
Knew, she declard d, 40 more Than Pope 81
Rome y
We'll, Sunday came and, cladin all her best,
Away to church She llied, with lofty crest
But, since old ugc mus, hobble, md not run,
Ere she got there was Iiiany begun.
As stately down the aisle she made her way,
Her figure drew full many n s'ar'ug eye
And many u gaping moulh forgot to pray
As she pass'd 10y
My, Pieiy itself would look asltsnct
10 see this strange phenomenon advance.
alternate with the priest the pious crowd
With one accord twaUg'd ont responses loud,
hith oul olu thilHiAT htdiu VIII dhi'IlH''bl
But couldn't guess what meant this cAclama-
ton
For tho some bawl'd amain, and some but
mutter'd,
& Good Lord deliver IL" was all they utter'd.
At lcpgth the Devil WHISPERED in her ear,
Twas at her high.crown'd hat that all this
noise
Was made by men and women, girls and boys,
And Ms an insult Far toe gross 20 bear,
Now she did pass a huxom damsel by,
Who. raising from her book II rogui,h eye,
Pronounced Good Lord deliver rs" N a tone
III old woman tlo't might ycxa very stone.
Anger bctiays MS from the paths of grace,
Nor phys respect TO persons, time or place
SO honest Gammcr, like with rage to burst,
ENclatms, "indced, your impndeuce be cmrst;
Good Lord deliver us. hey yon eiegling cnt,
Dad you ne'er see before ahlgh crowm'd hat =
MORAL.
Say, reader, art thou aPtto take offence?
Quarrel aud s~qnnbhle on each Hight p@rctencc
Fretful andjeal"ns, thinking ev'ry tongue
Which names thee not, ye, means to do thee
wrong
Look nj thyself.-lf so, my s'ory's pat
Thour't the old woman in the high crown'd
bat LONDON ORACLE.