Constitutional Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1824-1832, 1824-11-19

whole process Of the peats and the peticoa is to be
gone over again. 1t is all in vain. as the bed rea
dy!" BY the time you have fallen asleep once or
twice, II is ready. When you enter; il is damp; but
how should it be dry in such climate. The blan-
kets feel so heavy that you expect to get warm in
time. Not at ALL they have the property of weight,
without warmth; though there is fuling- mill ut
kilmahog. You awake at two o'clock, very cold,
and find that they have slipped the floor
ou try to spare them again, but such is their weight
that they fall ON the other side; and, at last by dn
of kicking and pulling, they become irrcmediably
entanged, sheets and ALL and sleep fes, whatever
King Henry may think, to take refuge in other beds
and other blankets 1t is in vain to try again, aud
you get up at Eve. Water being so contemptibly
common, il is probable that there none present; il
there is. 1t has delicious flavor of stale whiskey,
so that you almost imagine the Highland rills to run
grog. There is no soap in Mrs. Maclarty's house.
IL rs prudent, also, to learn shave without look
ing-glass, because if there is one, it is urrowed
and striped and straed, either cross-wise, or per-
pendicularly, dagonally, that IN consequence of
what Sir Isaac Newton might call its fits of rregu-
lar reflection and transmission, you cut your if
II distorts you any way, and your ear if it protracts
you in the opposite direction. The towel being eli
Their wet or dirty or both you wipe yourself III the
green moreen curtains, unless you prefer the sheets.
When you return to your sitting DOM, the table is
Covered with glasses and mugs, and circles of dried
whiskey and porter The fire place is full of white
ashes; you labour to open window, if il will open,
that you may get little of the morning air, and
IL IS, s
d. on Susannah's. Should you break pane, it is
OF mo nseGuence, as it Will never be mended again.
The clothes which you sent to be washed bro't
up wet, and those which you TO be dried smok-
ed You now become impatient for the breakfast;
and as it will not arrive you 60 into the kitchen to
assist in making the kettle boil. You will not acce-
lerate this; but you will see the economy Of Mrs.
Maclartys Kitchen.
The kettle, an inch thick, is hanging on black
crook in the smoke, not the fire, likely boil
train OF chips lying from the Fireplace to the wood
corner, and the andlady is busy, not in separating
the fwo but in picking out any stray piece that
seems likely to be lighted before its turn comes
You need not ask why the houses do not take fire;
because is more than all the fire itself do, with
all its exerions. Round this fire few oat cakes
stuck on edge in the ashes to dry perhaps herriug
and on the floor, at hand, heap two of bed
clothes, cat, few melancholy fowls, couple of
blac kdogs, perchancc, pig more with pile of
indescribabes consisting of horse collars old Shoes
petticoats, few dirty plates and horn spoons, kilt
possibly bagpipe, a wooden baker, an empty gill
and pint stoup water bucket, greasy candlestick,
a rake, spinning wheel, two three frowsy f.eces
and shepherds plaid, iron pot full of potatoes,
a never washed mlk-tub, some potatoes, a
griddle, three legged STOOL and heaven and earth
knows what more. All this time, two three naked
children are peeping At you out OF some unintelgi
bic recess, perchance contcsting with the chic
and dogs.for the fire. while Peggy is sitting over it
unsnooded one hand in her head, and the other no
one knows where, she is wondering when the ket-
tie will boil; while if she had third, it might be en-
ployed on the other two But enough of Mrs. Ma
CLARITY and her generation; for l sure you can
have no inclination to partake with of the bre ak
fast, which will probably be ready in TWO hours.
Nliser in Altoona lately gave an entertain
ment to fow friends When the juice of the
grape had evaporaed, he waited on a magistrate,
and begged TO be committed to prison. for hav-
ing robbed himself of 10 dolIarsi
Two Cardinals objected to Raphael, the
great master of the pencil, that in one of his pie
ces he had put too much red in the countenan-
ces of st. Peter and st. Paul. "Be not aston
ished at that, my Lord, have painted them as
they are in heaven, blushing with shame al see
ing the church so badly governed"