Richmond enquirer. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1815-1867, 1824-01-24

good husband she il kind and aiacionate, In, To
one who Ieases her not, she is very spii-h's Yet
notwithstanding his mist ir, (unless he grant
outrage upon her honor size disnisses him not, but
regularly orders her Treasurer pay him his quar-
fer's salary. until the FIRST four years expire but
then such uproar does she rase about his head,
the very an seems To be darkeu-d with her inycc-
tives for she establishes printing presses through
all her fields, and the old women who work them,
hlacken him with the mos, aggravang abuse.
This lady is comely, we'll prppnt toned dame,
" ever fair and ever young ); aud like Eugiand's
King, she never a es - her connieuance is more
stu ikngly marked with comeliness than beauty her
education 10 rather Of substantial than of refined
character she has no great liking for the muses.,
and ~ much iomder Of apple duu,plihs Than OF poe
Try she prefers the silver sounds OF u redundant
treasury, tai the sofes, NOES of the flute vo-Shc
manages the handle OF The plough with more ace
III IN she dies the pencil Of the painter she the
trend OF commerce, au'l has made advances
III the fine arts, bu, is still fascinated with the
utility of h"Dai', than with the beauty OF most
exquisite sculpture agriculture and manufacturers
shr cherishrs, bu, fear she is becoming fond Of
| the pomp md circumstance Of war she las lately
manifested yearnins after gewsaws and various
I extravaganctes, the concOmitants OF wealth. EcOno
| E,y, sober drmure old dime, who used Ia he her
hiie de chanibre has been dismissed her service aud
II high bred maid, Pciept E.rtrurdguics, aucnds
her sicad. The former used dress her
IN The wno(s Of dane H1mespnn, but the latter
hedrrkS her IN the fantastic nippery Of the Eastern
world. Her household furniture, which la other
times more happy then the res mt, was the handy
WORN NJ her young iennnny,is now selected IN the
foreign magazines al fashion, the great morica-
ton oi her people, and the manifest dscour agrneut
OF her native genus. The plain pewter and din
ner services which that thrifty Old dame Mistress
ffomespnn, used to scour into such brightness, has
heen 'i'scarded an,l massive piles of richly wrought
plate purchased in it's stead Her haba,ion, which
was once nea, and comfortable, has been changed
for palace thar would put the aho,es of princes
blush, aud she has established Ia her court such ri
ti'cuons aud vrxaious ceremonies, thar she has al
most frightened away her old aud rrusy friends
,,tp In,uI n,
10 see her decket out 10 her gaudy are playing off
her ap'nes OF r0y'by, practising her high life below
sia,rs. Such proceedings deeply wound the hearts
oi her real friends, and would size l.sten to their adj
munitions instead Of the luIsome aiery of the float
ing atoms that buzz about the palace, she might vet
regain her former standing, and become again an
honest woman. Her mode of selecting husband
winch !. 81 eccentric, will now proceed TO point
"nf.-About year before the time arrives nj which
she intends TO discard her then husband she sgni-
hes tins her intention "a her people and they i'm ed
h'er set ahnni selecting candidates Tor her fair hand
| ANY member az her COMMUNITY NAV propose can
'i'dnie, and indeed any Que, matter how low his
station, Crowded he has been born in her dnnpns)
may aspire To her preference. So soon rs her de-
tel animation is made known (her desire TO acquire
new husband,) a wonderful hustle cnsnes thrnug bout
The whole estate. Every one il busy IN pron,onc
his own SUIT in iur'hsring the preensinns Of SOM.
iavorue Candidate. (whO his promised hundreds
~ leases az very moderate ars) and ever and
'h"y hcspn'ier some opposing candidate with the lh
! ni the iuuirsi lrnnels. The hroherly lave which,
Que towards the other. now gives way to the most
angry aud iniriate passions business of every des
rripton ~ neglected, aud men, women, and children
are seen uniting III every direction, gathering eros
roads, blacksmith shops taverns, and market hon
Sos, tayng and talking Of nothing hut the cleo
io". The candidates in the time are hril,ins
| ~" political juggirrs of the demesHe, meamor-
phn,e Ihem, that the heart OF The fair Arhress may
! y'eId To their superior attractions. Beds Of Prorus-
ties are fixed in every village, which The friends of
candidate throw hmm and f his body exceeds the
desired length, he is forthwith hewed down TO The
Standard dimensions hat If found too short for the
1'd ~ measure, they forthwith stretch him TO the pro-
posed poni--mercy on us how have the di-
mrnsons of piemy magnifed There is then for
''ne an end To eating and drinking, work ing nd
playing, even the toomen for time forget the ordna-
~ scandal of the table and drawing room and
flourish in The arena Of political gadiators
" No the farmers news the BARRIERS tale
No more The woodlands ballad snail prevail
No more the smith his dusky brow shall clear
Relax his ponderous strength and learn hear.
The host himself no longer shall he found.
Careful TO see the menthng bliss go round
Nor the coy maid, half willing TO lie presS'd,
! Shall Kiss the cup and hand il 10 the rest"
livery thing yields and gives place TO this lady 5
choice the ndy's choice But even n,roar itse n
mus, have rcpose and shori lime before The day
Of choice comes, noiseless calm ensues When
the day OF election arrives, they who mean 10 con-
test for the prize, present themselves before the fair
onr, aud in good set phrases, trumpet forth their
respective nierils-and he 10 whom she awards the
prize, she lakes for husband, for good and for bad
Tor hetier aud for woIsr-n sickness and in
heah,' (not however until death shall part but for
| the spIce Of four short Yeu
lcI she is bOnWd TO make this choice and may
II she pieases, reject all who present themselves bu
she is still in The rn'i, (or such is the law compelled
TO take unto her bed one of The three whom she shall
most approve lf she max choice, bnt nerye So
" rejects ALL Congress Of cid tuorer selected from
amongst the various farm hOuses OF the enantrv ga
ilier themselves together, in some general position
and there select from amongst he favored three
husband Tor the lady and do actually forthwith
force her into determination of the rires Of nIari-
| mnny.-Bui she generally chooses for herself /; for
although all may lie 10 respect objectionable
| she prefers making OF Them indebted Immediate
ly TO herself for the bounty, Than The couvenIicle
of old women and indeed, there is much prudence
~ this resolution, for those old danes do sometimes
barrier iheh votes TO the aspirants and few ounces
OF lea, and little refined loaf ia hand, with The pro-
mise OF an additional supply occasinnally work won
ders and The promise of promorion-an Office IN
same one OF ilIe hairys o: the farm aud such little
appendages are not lost upon these sage calculating
| mIIoHs.
| The choice being made, on y Subsequent Jay, all
those old women of Congress assemble in the great
chuich, (and rs many others ms can crowd them
selves INTO ~, alter The privileged gabicrs com
iorabiv seacd) when the hymrnial knot s lied by the
high Priest, in 'he presence Of the aasembage This
par Ut the ceremony is shOri--Ihe Bridegroom
elect, swPars that he will honestly manage The lady
concerns according 10 the hest Of his Judgment
(Which means, thai he will manage the estate Just as
he peased,) kisses the BRIDE and rarles away In a
seI speech about his devotion 10 his wife and her
terests-meIe conn,ou place stuff which no one re-
CARDS or attends TO. The ceremonies Of the day are
wound up with grand dance At the paInce, where
The friends of the Lord elect join in The festivities of
the hight, and where 100, others late Giends of the
discontinued rivals attend, obseotui0usly To give in
their adhesion 10 g the powers that be-" the better
10 enable them fish for the appointments which
quickly succeed the inauguration.
| Thus much for The lady's hymenal pl,antasies -
sFor who has often embarked ~ uen's voya -
he hHs been exceedingly fortunate. Her first has
hnHd, " fuke him Hll AID all, she will never tool;
UPON his ike again Her second was y we'll mean