The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware register., 1824-09-09
From the Portsmouth Journal.
XPEDIENTS.
a cap by night-a stocking all,the day. Pope.


every situation, the good and ill OF human lie,
l happen at the same time TO be very inge-
nious. set out in life with determination
of making a show, and have hitherto succeed
ed (: though there has been perpetual con-
fict between my poverty and my invention
like the strife of lighta and darkness in the ma
thology of the ancient Persians. l cannot
stop to relate I'll that did, and suffered, and
devised in my youth and carly manhood,
though | have many ridiculous adventures
laid up i'll my memory. | must even omit the
taffety jacket and stockings, which owned IN
partnership with six other apprentices, and
which have MANY a time done duty on seven
distinct bodies, at the same ball-the Presi-
dent of the club, for the time being, always
having the privilege of dancing the last volun-
tary, and gallanting the young ladies home.
But l pass by the happy period OF youth,
when even folly sits graceful, and come at
once to eXpedents and cares of mature age
todomestic scenes which will commend them
selves to every mans business and bosom.
l think that is the expression OF my Lore
Bacon.
Yesterday, Mr.. Printer, was day OF diff
Guilty distress and triumph. declare oyou
honestly, that 1 overcome more appalling
obstacles, than Napoleon encountered in his
retreat from Moscow and am conscious OF
no vanity, in placing myself above him i'll the
science of tactics. But you shall hear.
Itwas determined in the domestic conclavc,
some ten days ago, that | should give a
dining party, and my wife jam and to save
expense it was resolved that both should take
place the same day. This would prevent the
gentlemen from setting too long at their wine
after dinner, and would also save something OF
the evenings retreshment, to say nothing OF
the eclat oftwo parties on one day. Yesterday
was the appointed day big with the fate ot
Cato and of Rome.
AS preliminary to her party, my wife,
who observes all the forms of society, cN-
amined her account of calls and resolved to
makea general payment, that she might be III
debt to no one, when her invitations should go
out. But as many of her acquaintance might
possibly not be at home, it was necessary to
have supply of visiting cards, and her pack
was nearly exhausted
But though on pleasure she was bent.
She had saving mind
The young children were therefore sent
out to visit their playmates in the families on
which he was in the habit of calling, aud
they were directed TO keep an eye on the
card racks, and if they chanced to see one OF
their mothers cards, they were to cxclaim--
% there is one o. mammals cards that be-
longs to me- and Immediately to pocket it.
The plan succeeded to admiration: in the
course of the week IS cards were collected
by the children, which were all distributed
again by their mother i'll the course Of a few
hours.
Having no man servant in my family, and
being unwilling to hire a messenger, strip
ped Oft my coat, put on my Wlic'S Ieghorr
fiat without the ribbons, and sailed forth il
the dark to deliver my invitations i'll person
believe | escaped without detection though
one gentleman, The dined with me ycster
day1 while | was standing at his door, reques
ted me to get bucket of water, and the,
with queer look put tour-pence haltpenn,
in my hand; it was all clear again, every Wis
man knows the value Of four-pencc half
penny.
On the great day, our drawing room wa
decorated with the spoils of all the chamber:
Our best bed curtains were very adroitl
twisted into hangings for the windows; Will
six chairs tied together, and covered with pil
lows, and enveloped in a large countcrpant
make an excellent sofa. The coverlet Of tn
infants crib, with my little daughters sample
pinned on the centre was called for the day
ahearth rug. A pile of old books and paper
on the mantle, served at once to display III
love ofliterature, and to apologize forthc wal
gilmore appropriate ornaments. The gonir
Of my wife never appeared more triumphai
tHdn III eHc proper uioJoo''ioh vi iiSHlo al
shadows on this important occasion. Ever
thing was in keeping as the printers say an
tho the room was somewhat dark, It locke
rich and' mellow like an old picture.
The dining parlor, was somewhat more di
fcult to manage. 1t took two-thirds OF IL
counter to make dining table; and my coun
ing room desk though rubbed with wax, al
placed in a corner, little out of sight mac
but sorry, sideboard. But then the clos
door, was left OH jar, and my gramothel
pewter dishes, and two or three milk mea
ures well rubbed made rather splcnd
show of family plate, of which we did not f;
to talk during dinner. We borrowed chai
from our neighbors, under the pretencc
having funeral--for the cousin of one OF 0
domestics who had just died Of the yelle
fever. This report in the ncighborho
kept away impertinent visitors. My eldt
son blacked his face a little and attended
the table; and performed his part very VT
The guests were told that he was at cole;
was however little disconnected by my
cond daughter, who thoughtlessly called h
BROTHER as he was pouring out a glass
water for her; but | turned it off W
enough, by remarking that if it were not
the difference of complexion, there might
some likeness between them Accidents v
happen in the best regulated families, an
did not observe that any of the guests took
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