Massachusetts spy and Worcester advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1823-1825, 1824-09-22
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From the Blank Book of small Colleger.1
THE CC.M.NERCI4L GENTLEMAN.

HE CC.H.N EhLI.7L GE.NILEJM.4yN.
1t was during tour in the West of
England, in the long vacation, that a
College friend and myself put up at an
Inn al Falmouth, frequented by COM
mercial gentlemen. Anxious to see
life in all its varieties, we entered the
travellers room, the only inmate of
which was fat, bustling, red-faced. self
important gentleman, who was devour-
ing oysters with all his energies. Ny
waggish friend, Waters, ever on the
watch for joke, at once accosted him ::
y Kan are fond oysters. presume. sir p
v cry, sir, and he swallowed with Il
smack the last of six dozen. Far be it
from me to alarm you, SIR returned the
other with countenance of the deep
est concern but own | feel surpris-
ed at your partiality for the Falmouth
oysters. You are ofcourse aware, that.
in consequence of the vicinity TO the
mines, they contain a portion of poison
Gus metallic substance, which causes a
sickness and swelling, and sometimes e.
ven death, in the oyster-eater.' Me
tallic substance !' poisonous vicinity =
returned the man of jonrDies, pettishly,
.'Fve eaten many a barrel of oysters in
my time sir, and Il hope you'll eat
many more interrupted Waters, al
though upon my soul, | Doubt it, How
ever, gu revoir and we left him for a
stroll about the town. On our return to
supper after an hours ramble. we found
the commercial gentleman pacing up
and down the room,-'no passibus,
equis,'-and evidently awaiting, with
some anxiety, our temperance. Sir
said he TO Waters, in the most. silyery
Zones, Il have been considering what
you told me, and-and-l feel rather
queer Now don't let me alarm you,'
said W. with his most impertubable face,
but we remarked TO each other, as we
entered the room, that your countenance
was perceptibIy altered' Now are
you serious? Oh dear what shall |
do A? Do advise me!' Call in a medi-
cal man Directly said the wag, 'and
that no time may be lost, myself will
be your messenger
He soon found country practitioner.
whom he summoned 10 see friend of
his Of very shattered merveS, who fanci-
ed himself poisoned by eating few
oysters' The affair, in consequence,
took new turn. After Mr.. Gobble-
stone had detailed his case with the Ut
most earnestuess, Yes, yes says the
Doctor TO us in whisper, ! see very
clear y how matters stand. Evidently
disordered in the brain. Wrong here
and he tapped, in the most knowing
manner, his own bald pericranium.
{ I'll humour him. To the patient, with
a smile, he continued, yes, sir, yes,
Cornish oysters are most pernicious-
highly pernicious fatally pernicious
you must be Sled without delay; bis
ter TOMORROW, if necessary; cooling
draught on going to bed, and shall send
a mixture to be taken every three
hours
The commercial gentleman was then
bled, and hurried off to his pillow
while Waters determiuGd TO keep up
the joke; while assisting him 10 undress
he fecreted his waistcoa:: we then had
the broad back taken out, and a very
narrow one substituted. Early the
next morning, ] made point of seeing
the invalid. hope you are better, Mr..
Gobblestone p 20! | am as we'll as ey-
er was in my life. TWAS all Joke,
wasn't il p said he, with what was meant
to be an insinuating smile, Il knew it