The Portland gazette. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1818-1824, 1823-08-26

rnle of ugliness In fact there are no such AMI !
mails as ugly women, though we still continue to
talk of them as we do of Harpies. Gorgons, and
Chimeras. There is no deiormity that does not
find admirers, and no loneliness that is not deem
ed defective. Anamaboo, the African prince,
received SO many attentions from celebrated
belle Of London, that, in moment Of tender
ness, he could not refrain from laying his hand
on bis heart and excIaiming, " All madam. if
Heaven had only made you a negress, you would
have been irresistible - And the same beauty,
when travelling among the Swiss C-etins, heard
several of the men calculating, = How handsome
she IS what pity that she wants a Goitre ~
Plain women we're formerly 50 common that
they we're termed ordinary, to signify the fre
quency Of their occurrence in these happier
days the phrase Extraordinary would be more
applicable. However parsimonious, or even
cruel, Nature may have been in other respects,
they all cling to admiration by some solitary
tenure that redeems them from the unqualified
imputation Of unattractiveness One has al eve
that, like Charity, covers multitude of sins \
another is a female Sampson, whose strength
consists 10 her hair third holds your affections
by her teeth; fourth is Cinderella. who wins
hearts By her pretty little foot; fifth makes an
irresistible appeal from her face to her figure,
and so on TO the end of the catalogue An ex-
Pressiye countenance may always be claimed in
the absence Of any definite charm; if even this
be questionable, the party generally contrives
to get reputation for great cleverness; and if
that too be inhumanely disputed, envy itselfmust
allow that she is excessively amiable."
In the connubial lottery ugly women possess
an advantage to which sufficient Importance has
not been attached. 1t is common observation
that husband and wife frequently resemble one
another, and many ingenious theorists, attempt-
ing to solve the problem by attributing it to
sympathy, contemplation of one another's fea-
lures, congeniality of habits and modes of life,
&C., have fallen into the very common error of
substituting the cause for the effect. This mu-
tual likeness is the occasion, not the result Of
marriage. Every man. like Narcissus, becomes
enamoured of the reflection of himself only
choosing substance instead Of shadow. His
love for any particular woman is selfloye at Sec
ond hand, vanity reflected, compound egotism.
When he sees himself in the mirror of a female
face, be exclaims, How intelligent, how ami
able, how interesting how dmiTHbly adapted
for wife !" and forthwith makes his proposals
to the parsonage SO expressly and literally cal
culated to keep him in countenance The ugli-
er he is, the more need he has Of this consoIa-
ton; he forms a romantic attachment to the
=" fascinating creature with the snub nose" or
the bewtching girl with the roguish leer'
(Angce-squnt,) without once suspectng that
he is paying his addresses to himself, and play
ing the innamorato before looking glass. Take
sef-love from love, and very little remains: 1t is
taking the flame from Hymen's torch and leav-
ing the smoke. The same feeling extends to his
progeny: he would rather see them resemble
himself, particularly in his defects, than be mod
elled after the chubbiest cherubs or cupids that
ever emanated from the studio of Canova. One
sometimes encounters man Of most unouaIi-
fed hideousness, who obviously considers himself
an Adonis and when such one has to seek
congenial Venus it is evident that her value will
be in the inverse ratio of her charms. Upon
this principle ugly women will be converted into
bellies, perfect frights will become irresistible,
and none need despair of conquests if they have
but the happiness to be sufficiently plain.