The Massachusetts spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1821-1823, 1823-07-02
,obin will prove. on oath. the verify

De maue-SO DIuS the ACT.
judith. Good gracious me
Stamps without end, and lees al every turn
Peter, you're standing like stock! Why
don't We
See if this shameful charge can be avoided?
Pefsr. Precious there's only two ways 10
ne married,
By being ask'd in church, or else by license.
judith. Why 'tis shame, and I'm afraid
sin,
To waste good money so. l've half mind,
An 'twere not that this other ways genteeler,
To wait for banns. What will be wanted
then'
Mr. b. Ma'am, you must still produce an
affidavit,
And have your name stuck outside the church
door
For three whole weeks-besidc-
judith Nay, nay, no more.
Go on and make the extracts.
Mr.. B. Puts on his spsciaeles and fambles
about the leateS.)
In courtesy,
Could You direct me to the year, in which
The entry of your christening time was made
judith. (,cith glunn lOok) 'Tis very trouble
some and nonsensical--
1t can't be better done. My christening-eh!
Twas long ago, Sir-for Pm turn'd of forty.
Mr.. B. Past forty; I'll consult according
Here are the entries of my predecessor,
In the year seventeen hundred and eighty,
Madam,
And yet no Judith Pratt occurs.
Judith. Look back.
MI ~
eight, five, four, three, two, one
We are back at seventy-Oh! here's Judah
Pratt
judith. That was my youngest brother-I
can't see why
One should y SO particular-but was
Just ten years older.
Mr.. b. Hem! now we'll manage it
In Ammo Domini seventeen hundred sixty,
find you down.
Judith. Well, make no noise about
Peter was born in fifty and therefore
Is two years older.
Peter. Right, my lovely Judith,
| am sixty-four, come Whitsun-fair, and
bear more years upon me, am ADLER, there
fore,
To counsel and direct your feebler sex.
This arm, on which in loves devotedness &
You lean, Cat least you did so when you en-
tered
The roonf) shall be on all emergencies
Your ever sure defender.
judith. Hold your tongue
Take out your purse, and see if you have
brought
Silver enough to buy these plaguy stamps.
(Whtle Peter examines the state of has En-
chequer,
Nf. B. is issiting he stops and ',srns 10 Peter)
Mr.. B. Shall designate you by your en-
ployment?
Peer. Yes, Sir, my occupation is my boast.
Without my aid, sir, beauty's robe would aoat
Loose 10 the winds; her graceful form would
Half its due praise, did withhold the means
Of close adjustment.
mr.. b. This is an enigma.
Your passion makes you too rhetorical
What, IN plain terms, do others call your trade?
Peter. A pin-maker.
Mr.. b. All, that's Ineligible.
And for Miss Pratt-how name you her pro-
Peter. She lives upright.
.sr. II. Upright? Why SO hope.
longer;
But lives upon the means her worthy aunt,
Good Mrs. Swelter, Of the Dog and Porridge
Pot,
Left her by testamentary bequest.
(Jur. b. returns to has mriiing-Jadiih reckons
orer Tie ntonty.)
justin. declare, if had known Of what
would happen,
I'D have been married ere the Act took place.
Strange, Mr.. Minikn, you did not look 10 it
In proper time.
Peter. Why, charmer, you're aware,
My hopes and fears (whereof the tender pas
sion
Is much compos'd) have swallow'd up of late
All my small powers of prudent circumspec-
ton.
And though three hal(-crown stamps make
seven and-sixpence,
And eighteen-pence, twice counted, is three
shillings,
Which we must pay fT the certificates
And all this in addition 70 the stamps
Upon the bond and license and to that
The Rev. Mr.. Broadbands legal fec
Besides. and exc, moreover, unto Robin
A trliie-altogether power of money
Yet, trust me, sweetest, dearest maid, |
grudgc not
The heavy outlay, since it gives ple you
You whom I'Ve sish'd for, sud to, knelt TO,
gain'd.
Believe me, oh believe your raptur'd Peter,
The sharpcsi, whitest, and best headed pin,
Ne'sr in my eyes glisten'd SO beautiful,
As you do, Judith-hay, may say paper
Or pins complete evenly stuck and ranked
In shining rows, though fine, is not sight
Comparable to that our matrimonial License,
Which the good Vicar Is inditng for US.
Mr.. b. (iooks around.) Pray, Mr.. Minikin.
recollect yourself
Reserve this fervour for filter season
Respect my gown. | cannot sanctio, Cir