Martinsburgh gazette. [volume] (Martinsburgh, Va. [W. Va.]) 1810-1825, 1823-08-21
inss Of her ,ofl bosom bcspoke the az


liberated from its sacred repository
The melocious accents of her voice
aspircd TO competition with the seraphs'
songs. In fine, she appeared TO be
clothed upon, with the panoply OF eve
ry grace. (Hefe the good ByanderI
sIniled) Thus, gentlemen, have ]
described this wonder-worl< of crea
tion-in order that you may see have
not been duped by any thing short OF
perfection. Poor VIII is Still ex
treme|y weak when speaking on this
subject, though master OF almost every
othcr) Unhappy as | was when out
of her company, | was not less so
when in it. Her awful presence pa
ralyscd my every energy both of mind
and body.
Perfectly at a loss how 10 proceed
in this critical business, / resorted to a
variety Of cxpedients--aiI, however,
alike unsuccessful At one lime sum.
moning up al the self confidence |
could possibly command, | veaturcd
TO enter upon the discussion II the me
tits OF particular romance, dwelling
upon the last scene, in order to asLr-
tain her sentiments upon that import
ant subject winch furnishes materials
for the closing chapter Of every novel.
Bot alas! alaal what was the conse-
qucnce; | was forthwith attacked
with the most irresistible violence -
Not 4 sentiment there cXpres5ed--not
an alluSi0n madc-yea, every turn OF
the narrative itself, she had more nc
cugatcly treasured up IN her memory,
than eyer churchmdn had bis prayer
book; aud wilbal she seemed to ex-
peel me to be equally we'll stored in
this kind oflore, for she poured forthher
affected iutcrrogltories, almost al inf
nltum. After this FIRST disastrous rem
counter, never more brcathcd Il whis-
per about novels in her presence.
again: Having understood that
large fortune is the most eloquent ar
gument that can be urged by suppl
eating suitor to young girl ofprudence
and foresight, l began to avail myself
OF every opportunity to make her ac-
quainted with the large pairimoDv OF
which | was shortly to be possessed
But even here, strange to tell, she was
perfectly immoveable-so much so.
that | doubt not even had his Satanic
Majesty himself conducted her to the
highest pinnacle in the Universe, and
there displayed before her all the
wealth, pomp and gaudy splendour Of
this terrenc globe, at the same time ex-
erting the highest strains of eloquence,
with which he ever harangued his lie
gions of fallen angels, Or assailed the
unwary ears of our mother Eve, stiI!I
believe verify he could hot have pre-
vailed upon her TO unite with me in
vinculo matrimonii. Again and again
did | attempt, by various eXpedients,
to win her affections; but all i'll vain.
The idea of coquctry at last flashed
upon my mind. | saw that my case
was almost hopeless, still, like daunt
less hero, | determined to make one
final desperate assault Accordingly,
at the appointed time, | appeared be
fore her, with fixed resolution Gas |
thought to offer the fatal interrogatory.
She read desperation IN my counte-
nance, and was accordingly prepared
for The attack. | stammered out the
suitocating words. Blood and thup-
der! She laughed at met was all
over. / reireaied, how and where l
know not; until, having arrived at my
lodgings, bad discussed full bottle
of wine, by way OF dissipatiug care.
Here then, gentlemen, in revenge for
this ;yrannical coquetry, | hold in my
hand paper, which | offer to your
consideration, as constituting the first
attack OF a iuriou2 warfare, which
am resolved TO wage against the whole
race of coquetish prudes" SHANE on
thy rudeness, Will Whimblc). VIII
proceeded to read The paper, which, in
consideration OF the business Of the re
marks, and of its being very "apro-
pos" we have concluded to pabGsh-
although, at the same lime, it was re
solved, that VIII Whimble, ESQ do
henceforth refrain from writing any
piece, relating, in any wise, to old
maids or females in general.
VISIT TO 4 LADY'S LIBRARY.
Some two or three months since, cir
cumstances led me to pay visit at the
house ola female friend, with whom |