Alexandria gazette & advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1822-1824, 1823-10-18

II Nr. Sharpset does not menu MS man
nsrs in future, and profit by the check
he has received from the Chair, / shall
be obliged to apply the whip in my own
defence. ~ @
DIR. Dietbread.-Friends! Doctorsf
cease to disagree. You, Sharpset, will
cute little into the quick now aud then:
but a man Of your nettle, Hoof1y, should
never vince at trifle. Gentlemen, ..
mother bumper Ibeg To- SIS
[Dr. Forceps, the Accoucheur, rose
ore the chairman's .oas. was delivered,
observed that DE-. Dietbread was out of
his reckoning, and had omitted to give
the ladies, the greatest friends Of tho
professsion.l .>-. .e
DR.. Dietbread.-If, gentlemen, in my
endeavors to promote the harmony of
this company, I have unfortunately mis-.
carried. beg pardon. But Dr.. For
ceps, we'll bred man as he is, has been
somewhat premature, the toast intend.
ed to give was Breeding in allits
branches.' rs ra -
Dr. Diapente.-Pray, Mr.. Sharpset,
have you not been recently called in to
perform a slight operation for my pa
tient, Colonel rramper?
Sharset.- directed him yesterday
morning. lie dice of water in the chest.
D,apente.--I always treated him for
a bilious affection and relaxation of
the stomach.
Sharpset.--His liver and stomach
were perfectly healthy.
Diapen,e-As he 10 dead u 10 the
same thing. The knife lets out tho So
eret. And the earth covers the blun>
der | never had ans hopes of him af.
ter he was reduced to half pay. When
a man cans fee, he is as we'll GU. Of the
world. lie told me he was getting
poor, and never called afterwards.--
Who the devil can drive q pair of hor
ses twice for guinea, and write Latin
into the bargain?
Solomon-Who,d ost thou think, a
mong doctors, friend Diapente, writeth
he best Latin?
Diapen,e.-He that writes the most
legibl- hand. If a man were to w. ite
pure Lstioity. friend Solomon, you
would not be able to understand the
prescription
systematically, believe thou wilt
never put me- 10 that trial. My file
might be produced to grove that Thy
prescriptions sre q miserable set ofcon-
t, actions, Roman cripplss. Thy hum.
bug is infinite, for thy words have no
termination.
Dispente.-Damme if prescribe tan
dem to please any body a nod Is ss
good as wink to blind hore, isi' no,
Cataract? Waiter. snuff the candles.
You were interrupted by Solomon, DR..
Rantipole, before you had finished your
remarks upon the subject Of insanity;
l beg you will proceed.
DR.. Rantipole.-ln the present day,
books on insanity are mere romances,
1.-The advertisements of mad house,
keepers, whose metaphysical bazaars,
the traders i'll improbab ilities, have heir
separate establishment. nurseries Of fol.
ly- ho,.beds for the early growth Of
prejudice, which there vegetables under
a perpetual frame work; for the elsvss
are never fit to be transplanted into so.
| ciety.
'The brood of folly without father
| braa.'
Solomon suppose. friend Ranti-
pole, thou canst penetrate Is far into
the human mind as into milestone.
| RaDtipole.-Yes. when it 10 cracked.
But, Solomon, you are already suffi
GENTLY penetrated with strong drink
You had better 60 home.
! Solomon.-If thou thinkest ! am sa.
turated, i will retire to the bosom OF A.
gatha.
President.-What ! friend Solomon,
are you married?
SJlomon.-Not exactly.-Erit cur
vitinearly.
D,apente.-Pray, Dir. Sharpset, do
you this year give the lectures at the
College OF Surgeons?
Sharpset.-keally l am not qualified
for such an undertaking. 1t is now the
fashion to blend jacobiDism with natu.
raj history, and pourish physiological
doctrines with the milk of blasphemy;
besides, my powers of PanegyrIc are In-
adequate for the aPo.teosis OF John
Hunter.
| Observation-Disclosures charge your
glasses: a humber in solemn silence
Let us now embalm departed profess
sional talent by an endearipg and en-.
during recollection, and drink to the
speed restoration of its distinctive EN-.
bIems, the pig and the cane Here the
aoaiter presented the biH.)
DR.. Forceps.-Mr. Chairman think
the bill has come before its time.