The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1823-05-14
From the Middlcsex Observer.
OLD B.9CHELORS.

What must . mans feelings be, who not
only is destitute OF the poblest inheritance
this world sffofds, that OF . beloved rib, bu' is
daily tormeotsd with tests and SCOTS OF 90
merou. public Journals, whose editors, TO;
the want ot discetnment, or perhaps. TO avoid
puzzling their brains about politics, will every
now and then stuff into some corDe of thet
paper a squib TO crack at bachelors. Now @,
am a bachelor possessing competent shp'e
OF this worlds goods end personal appearance
st least in my own opinion, above medIorlIy,
and Of tomper and disposition that wnuld
make any reasonable woman contented and
happy, shall endeavor 10 stats The reason
why have 90 long lived in single blessed.
ness" 1t is not, / am con6den, because |
could 90, find q yoke fellow, Tor numbets of
the fair Sex havo fined end sgled snd dis
played their fascinating charms till ives
many time jus, ready TO 4" pop the question"
when my bei,er judgement would gain the
ascendency, and enable me TO make good my
retreat. The truth is, the ladies have came
to ,uch q pass now a-dsys, that man TO mar.
~ and MAINTAIN q wife agreeah'y TO their no.
,ions Of gen,iliy, and crafty them with every
thing they desire, (Which must DC done in or.
der TO preserve domestic tranquility anc keep
o smile on the face OF his fair one,) ought TO
possess the wealth of Nabob. In tho good
old times, when our grandno,heIs reared up
their daughters to hsbi,s Of Industry teschng
them prudence aod domestic economy there.
by qualifying them to make good wives, old
bschel lors wero creatures scarcely knowo
But the daughters of the preset. time ato in.
duiced in idcness, fine drcss, aud all the van.
tiles, which make a very curse in The sched'
ulc OF O marriage portion A man who Is so
unfortunate as to get wife OF this description
should he refuse TO provide her with silks,
I.,ces, Leghorns and thousand othes cx
oensiye nick mack =, which would be sufficient
to decorate the seraglio Of a turk, he is greet
ed with tho unieeling epithet OF unfecing
s,ingy brute, accompanied with abundance of
crocodile tears-moreover, he must keeps
cook, chambermsid, and waiting woman, a,
they have not been taught the degrading art
OF cooking or to perform any ordinary labor
of domestic kind. There arc in fact many
Of our ,you!d be ladies who are candidates for
husbands, that cannot frame their mouths A.
ripht TO pronounce the VOID moh-sud should
they be caught near the wash tub by any
young gentleman, they would Fly into hy'.
terics.
Wore there any virgins from Shiloh who
held yearly dances in this our land Of free
dom, we bachelors, I uow might provide our.
selves with mates Of tho FIRST order, who
would cheer our broken hearts. aud smooth
our rugged paths Of life, and without doubt
prevent ,hi, increase Of old baehelors--bu, 81
long as our marrisge lottery contains so many
blanks to Q prize !, Is ten 10 one 'hs, We
should draw blank. II costs but little trou.
bic to engage a handsome ard accomplished
woman to become your w,le-but alas, too
ofen when the kno, is tied, they prove 10 be
friendships in Disguise, and real heih 10 hov
srty. Rather than tao ~ dangerous q risk, !