The Portland gazette., 1823-10-14
FROM THE PORTSMOUTH JOURNAL.
SHORT ANSWERS.

"Give me men about me that are prompt
MIR, EDIroR.-I am person offsw words, ana
an admirer Of pantominIe. like to SUIT tne AZ
ton to the word because brevity IS the lIe q
business as well as the soul OF wit Nnen am an
asked question, endeavOr TO answer Il WIN
common perspicuity that is, give categor!c-
al answer, for detest myself, TO be put Oh WIN
a long yawn or a lazy respond that seems 70
say aye, what's the clock"
Time is money-time is knOWledgs-there-
tore time IS valuable TO al men, particularly ~
these hard times when money i 50 scarce ana
knowledge is so uncertain. How much time
would be saved ii every bOdy's neighbour would
only give short answers 2
II for instance, when you present bill Tor
payment the debtor would say Yes-very
right III pay :" how much better that pithy
sort Of dialosue is, than such as is too common
and withal little nCOnvenent: for instance
7" bin ? | really had forgotten YOU lad an ac-
count against me Why had you not brought it
n before have just drawn on the Bank for
me last cent-hope you viii not let another bill
stand 50 long-I allrCyS pay all my bills punctu-
ally, but just at this time-I-I-have lent all
my money: have notes to pay to-moTow-the
rascally banks wont discount the best paper in
market : expect vessel next week my law
yer poor dog he is) either don't collect OF wont
pay over: | am busy now pressed with all sorts
and death must be every where. Call to day
-to-morrow--next day-neN week. viii
then give you''-"Give what ?"-'' Why give
you-GR GnSlCer-tO be sure"
Now how much better a direct answer in the
first place would be either I can Il paw vou-Or
wont pay you because in either case the affair
IS ended, and YOU max ia. 75Ait tc1r ~ eHt1me.
went the other day to a shoemaker In the
simplicity Of my heart | wanted pair q shoes
made
"Iwant them made large with long quarters"
"Quarters (said the shoemaker)-dO you
think the French army will make their quarters
in Madrid :"
With thin soals and low heels" said ].
VIII the New Hampshire votes be given 70
Crawford Z" said the shoemaker.
"I have corns on my toes, Il continued) and
cannot walk in straight shoes"
The Pirates"-said he
"The shoes said
The Pirates, (said he) at last are
POUNDS q e1cIaimed) stick to your last
THE SHOES want the shoes to wear to NOR
row for am absolutely barefoot
"If BuOnaparte was alive"-said my incorrigi-
bic man Of way
"With short straps" interrupted
" He would be at the head" The Foot
said +" Of hundred thous-
| rushed from the shop in paroxysm Of NOR
tfcation.
l went not long since, limping with rheuma-
tsm, to physician. gave him an affecting
recital Of my Affections. Selling me by the
hand and giving me such cordial grasp as
made each particular hair to stand on end ; he
exclaimed,
"Ah my dear friend, pain is incident to the
human frame
! cob said p
"Galen and Hippocrates, and learned mem
| {" Ooh !" shuddered intemayD
| -'. And learned men Of all ages have 2greod
in one position
"Hoh !" calculated I, in the extremity Of my
grief
--"One position Continued he)--that there
Is a decaying principle inherent in the nature of
man, which sooner or later, gradually, OF in
simultaneously, produces his dissolution"
! q Oh Lord said T.
| ~ remember q case (pursued my tormentor-
slapping me on my shoulder with a violence
that sent twinges over my frame,) | remember
a case reported of patient in the Greenwich
! Hospital, who continSed torty-fve years and six
, months under the exercise Of the most exCrucia.
ting complaint"
i "Was it the rheumatism :" l asked in an ag
: ony of mental suffering.
I No il was the gravel"
" Boo :" | roared with exultatiOn and anger
t and hobbIed away relieved from my complaint.
Now Mr. Editor, I am pretty comfortably sit
1 Iated. | see but few friends, whose communi
E cation is confined to yea, YEA and nay nav.
e Ihave cured myself of the rheumatism I orde
? my shoes, by my own written dimensions. fror
: the country. And to avoid long talks, keep h
I books Of accounts. BY persevering in this plal
e Of life, yet hope to be happy man
+ JAQUEs.