Martinsburgh gazette. [volume] (Martinsburgh, Va. [W. Va.]) 1810-1825, 1823-08-21
GW forage.
No. 2, August q, 1925.
Parssrs PERSONS, deere Dc Vt''s.

In our last (frst) number, we ven
t0red TO promise some humour and a
masement from one OF our number.
TIE parsonage there alluded TO, is nel-
Their more nor less than William, alias
Will Wlim5lc, Esq in Importance
the second member OF our tires yunctI
I'm uno." Al our first meeting, the anna
Die and benevolent Evander, who is
the third person mentioned in our in
tro !uctory number, was called to pre-
side. The OBJECT of cur meeting was
TO ascertain the exact plan, according
to which the FArrago is to be conduct
ed in future Her, contrary to our
conideat expectations, we found the
humorous old viii all on fire, to get a
fur, unobstru ted br0adslde at what
be- most ung GENEROUSLY denomlnated the
inferior part of creation. In eXamIh-
ing into the cause OF this feeling, SO re-
pugnApt to his general character, as a
no Sic hearted and generous phIlanthro-
pist, we found that in truth 1T is not
without \ reason that he IS anxious now
10 avail himself of this opportunity OF
retali4ting upon the other sex injuries
received almost time out of mind; at
least SD far back, that 40 one remem-
bers Them except himself. This cir
cum'tlncc goes far to account for
WINS wonderful mistakes about his
age. These deep felt wounds are even
now so fresh i'll MS memory. that he is
even under the impression that they
happened but yesterday; at which time,
he is we'll aware, that he was not yet
out of his teens, so that he fairly lniers,
that he 10 no. now much older: truly u
very great mistake. In Justification OF
his cruel determination, vii! proceed
ed to lay before us detailed statement
Of ibis case, which, as it will tend TO
illustrate prominent feature i'll the
character of this odd genius, we shall
narrate in his own whimsical manner
and words.
"To you, gentlemen, I must frank
" confess, that few years past (as-
cerlained to be about the year SO, tru
Iva very few years since) | did as cor
daily despisc the Bachelors condition,
ss | now glory and exult in it.
Thrown into company, as l frequent
ly was, where I could not but observe
the refined joys of that state, which l
then thou ht one of pure and unsullied
happiness, | found myself perfectly
unable to resist the desire Of partaking
its bliss Unconsciousiy was led in
to deep and constant meditation upon
the extatic pleasures Of the domestic
fireside. Already had l tasted, in de-
lighful anticipation, the sweets of the
justly enviAble state Of natrimony.-
From the words "justiy enviable, )"
thrown in here unawares, we may "a
tionaIly conclude, that all desire OF this
nature is not yetcxtingushed in VIII 5
bosom Abont this time, | was in
vited to spend some time at the house
OF a friend OF NINE, then just mar
ried. Willingly did accept the in
vitation; fos l mad already grownquite
sentimental and imprisoned, although
/ knew not what it was i loved. Nv
friend, | have since thought, was not
q unaware of my sit0ation, aud accord
inglv undertook to do me great f.
vour, by inviting, at the same time, a
large party Of young lades--among
whom were several OF good education,
ample fortune, and the most hscinA-
ting beauty. Here l became forthwith
completely overwhelmed, or at least
rs the sayingis, over head & ears in love.
Being heir toa large estate, possess
cd Of an elegant person, very, indeedl
he IS as ugly as original SIM and not
deficient 10 What is generally termed
natural parts, tout oh your egotism,
WlN, thought the fairest of creation
not beyond my reach. Accordingly,
after few days acquaintance, | be
gan to lay siege to rich helress,
" hose other trAnscendant eXcellencics
are perfectly indescrihAbic, at least by
me My approaches, at first, were
moderate, uniform, and, as / thought,
well conducted In this, however, as
will appear in the sequel, 1 was most
ieiserably mistaken Unskilled in the
srt of love, l bctook myself anon to
threading purchssingand borrow
fDg so many, that several of my friends
confidently looked for new one from
my pen Whatever / read Of in fic.
ton, that was lovely, l daily saw cx
hbited in real life. Not gem spar
AIed in the h;Jh drawn character, Cr