The Alexandria herald. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1811-1826, 1823-03-21

from himself; to perceive all goodnes,
tempted out Of him, and yet not to be a
BILE to forget time when il was other,
wise to bear about the piteous specta.
Gle OF his own self ruins could he see
my fevered eye ,feverish from last nights
drinking, and feverishly looking for this
nights rcpe tition of the folly could he
feel the body of the death out of which
| cry hourly with feebler and feebler out
cry TO be delivered--it were enough to
make him dash the sparkling beverage
to the earth IN all the pride of its mant.
ling temptation TO make him clash hi:
teeth,
and not undo EN-,
10 suffer wet damnation TO run thro' EN-
Behold me then, in the robust period
Of life, reduced to imbecility and decay
Hear me count my gains, and the profits
which l have derived from the midnight
cup.
Twelve years ago I was possessed Of a
healthy frame of mind. I was never
strong, but think my constitution (for a
weak oHe) was as happily exempt from
the tendency of any malady as it was pos
sible to be. scarcely knew what it wa.
to all any thing. Now, except when
am losing myself in sea of drink, I am
never free from those uneasy sensations
in head and stomach, which are so much
worse to bear than any definite pains or
aches.
At that time was seldom in bed after
six 10 the morning, summer and winter.
| awoke refreshed, and seldom without
some merry thoughts in my head, or
some piece Of song to welcome the new
born day. Now, the first feeling which
besets me, after stretching out the hours
OF recumbence to their last possible ex
tent, is a forecast of the wearisoms day,
that lies before me with secret wish
that | could have lain ON still, or never
awaked.
Life itself, my waking life, has mitch
OF the confusion, the trouble, and obscure
perplexity Of an i'll dream. In the dzy
time l stumble upon dark mountains,
Business, "hich, though never particu.
larry adopted to my nature, yet as some
thing OF necessity to be gone through,
e therefore best undertaken with cheer.
tuiness, used TO enter upon WITH some
degree of alacrity, now wearies, affrights.
2erplexes me. fancy all sorts of dis.
couragements, and am ready to give up
an occupation which gives me bread,
from harvesting conceit OF incapaci,y.
The slightest commission given me by a
friend, Ut any small duty which have to
perform for myself, as giving orders to
tradesman, &c. haunls me as a labor i'm
possible to be got through. So much
the springs of action are broken.
The same cowardice attends me in all
my intercourse with mankind. | dare
not promise that a friends honor, OF his
cause, will be safe in my keeping, if
were put to the expense of any manly
resolution in defending it. So much the
springs OF mortal action as deadened with
in me.
My favorite occupations in times past,
now cease to entertain. l can do both
ing readily. Application for ever SO
short time kills me. This poor alb:
stract of my condition was penned al
long intervals with scarcely any attempt
at coDDexioD of thought, which is noA
difficult TO me.
The noble passages which formerly
delighted me in history or poetic fiction
now only draw few weak tears, allied
to dotage. My broken aud disperited
nature seems to sink before any thing
great and admirable.
Perpetually catch myself in tears foi
any cause OF none. II is inexpressibls
how much this indrmity adds to sense
of shame, and general feeling Of de,eri
Grafton.
Those are some Of the INSTANCES. cor,