The Wilmingtonian., 1823-10-09

is principal engineer of empty buckets
Poor Grimalkin is turned out OF doors, and
Pont0 wisely chooses the barn instead OF
a scald. All sorts and sizes of the human
dress are collected from their lodging pla~
ces, and, (as Milton makes his devils throw
dirt at each other in jaculation dire,")
thrown into mass in the kitchen.
But these, alas are only the preliminas
ries of the business. Before
aAurora, now fair daughter of the dawn,
Sprinkles with rosy light the dewy lawn"
yes and before you have done with youf
lhrst--you hear strange sounds, above be-
meath and around--you start up-you
think, first think of thieves, then of thun-
Iderstorm, rain, hail and earthquake; now
you are wide awake, and realise the return
iof Washing Day; and accordingly jump
up mechanically from the bed, hang on
your clothes and make precipltatc re-
treat.
:, You secretly determine not to re-enter
:. the house to the end of the campaign, and
Inost resoutely and desperately do you
: Iset out on your morning travels, But
hunger, that sometimes "e'en the gods
E overtake," overtakes you: with ominous
. and suspicious fears, ynu res
llturn to reconnoitre the strength and posi-
e ton of the enemy; and at length boldly
i, ,Imarch into the camp.
if oWhat do you want heree" cries the
better half of yourself.
u "My breakfast, love! p "a soft answer
;, turneth away wrath my breakfast, love"
you reply.
t, aBreakfast breakfast Celevating the
v head to an awful attitude breakfast on
b Washing day."
II By-and-by you set down alone to your
,ij1precious repast of burnt toast, muddy cot-
E, fee, eggs boiled to the capacity of grape.
Ishot, or peradventure, not boiled at all
p YOU "pick clean teeth" for 25 minutes,
y and in huff, make another desperate sor~
an|tie from the house.
After suffering the aching void" of an
e ,Iempty stomach through the forenoon, you
li,,lmake another charge at one O'Clock, with
~ renewed impetuosity. On going into your
n dinner room, you see no preparation tor
tol dinner; you ncontinently ring the bell
!, 'ino answer In utter despondcncy you tfy
ne into the Kitchen.
. "And what do you want here?" cries
lse|o out at once the whole battalion of scrubs
mel lbers and scourers.
"My dinner" you mournfully reply.
,nhoI alt is Washing Day.
IN "Iknow it !" You take handkerchief
the from your pocket to allay perspiration. -
eld Unlucky deed One of the sylphs who
hepreside over the tub claims it as her lave
be, ta, lul victim.
= "My dinner !"-you excaim in falter-
the ing accents.
for "The handkerchief f!"--shouts the waa!i-
nt er of clothes. louder than Othelo.
'o1 "My din" you family articulate.
,ss "The handk--"
ask You mediate escape: you attempt to
sn, run-you fall upon the slippery floor
nc. YOU damage your broadcloth, and you are
or ore rAed of your handkerchief-yo lose your
and dinner, spirits, handkerchief and all,
tc| After medtating on your forlorn condi-
he' Ition, in this state of deep afiiction--you
y. mo- make dinner, if dinner may be called,
n ~ \ that's dinner none. Ii. e.) You range the
IT, closets, and eat without method or dis,
ing termination, of butter and cake, and bread
ana and apple, and cheese and sugar.
~, ~, You seize your hat, and rid yourself as
ke, much of breath, as did the Bohemian Hay
ros. raddin Mangribbin, in the story of Quen.
r o|tin Durward, when the dogs were loased
upon him.
u ao ! You return at evening, Oh what alter
,m. ed faces! =
to -" Hope enchanted, smiles,
ne And waves her golden hair"
the
an Your wife smiles and you smile. Even
ponto growls pleasure, and Grimalkir
whispers satisfaction. Every thing is re-
generated !; not shred remains "unwhipi
Of Justice" You exclaim, "sweet are
he uses of adversity"-you are comfort
ed with the reflection that your last mea
S better than your first.
You had lost your dinner, your break
3. fast, your temper and your handkerchief f
mel but now you have found them ALL YaH
ap-lfeel as traveller, who, after many hard
pe- ships and misfortunes, is at last restored
out 10 his friends, his comforts and his home
Ca You, fpardon me. most kind and gentle
ase ereader)-(and reverend seignors ALI kls;
'es :lyour wife, and exclaim,
fta' Thus should desert in sads--be crown'd.
1t a
ins,l
l a a. Al - ~