The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1823-02-04
From tie .Nfm England Gaia ~.

From Tie .Afu England GdiarH
Readors Of .Niacspapes.- The readers
al ne" spdp.rs my be separated into cl.,s-
scs, divided into genera, and subdisided
Into species, through all the ninutesl d.
'rr5l'lcs, whrh are sufficient In constitute
u sarety. have often b.,enlrd the ted
ous halfhour that prfcrdes The opening
of the Post-Olhee by silently commenting
upnn the different degrees OF appetite, with
winch the various persons daily congrcga-
ted nj the News Room approa,h their
morning delune of news aud gossip, 81
honnIilulls provided for thcm by The in
dusllious caterer. There isthe GmIrmand
and the Ercufe, the Bon Vivmt, and the
loNcr of III hits. One individual, Il cor
morant IN digestion, dcvours every thug
him
river orn sea
Are like II dish of ten,
And kingdom bread aud butter
Cuba is but mouihlul, aud its pirates
mere nutmeg grating which serve uul, In
nafonr the Wand without cloying the APP
petite; the Mississippi IL but cooling
draught, aud the Gulf of Mexico bowl OF
whlskey purh, drunk by way of provoca-
ton. The whole world ~ ransnehrd 10
hnd food for his Unsuitable appetite not
climate, however deadly, that Is not laid
under contribution, aud compelled 10 fur
nlsh its ratlons, towards the repetition Of
his capaclous stomach, nom the hannts of
tie ice loNes amongst the SNOW -cmbosom-
eel mountains ri the north, 10 where the
Antarte storm howls IN darkness around
the rocky promontory of Terra del Fucgo.
! have noticed this man, on his first enter
ing the room, and have been conyulstd
with laughter 10 observe with what deter
mined resolution he urges his way through
the assembled crowd of merchants, trades
nlen and quldn,nes, until he is sainl,
moorcd nj his place of destination. lie
usually commences nj The northeast cor
ner of the room, and following the course
ofthe sun, moves slowly bui steadily round
until he has deyoured all the pork and
beef flour aud meal, sugar and molasses,
wine, brandy and rum, in every warehouse
III every city III the union he bcgins with
the outer form aud reads every SYLLABLE
from the lmprImature to the last letter Of
the last advertisement How different
from this laborious OK is that dapper little
fellow, whom ] see, even now, in amy
minds eye" gancing from table To table
with the speed of Eclipse snatching IN his
liasty progress as morsel here, n mouthinl
there driving only nj dainties aud III bits,
and sklmmIng through the air with the
watclIful and keen eye of the swallow,
catching only The insects that float On the
surface. His filI plunge is usually at the
DAILY Advertiser u is seldom, however,
that he IL detained long there, either by
the weight OF matter, or the quantity Of
intelligence contained in the editorial de-
partincnt n single glance is NIL thai seems
rcqclrcd 10 put him in possession of the
Heating essence, the delicious otto, vaua-
bic only for IFS rarity. II il be Monday or
Thursday, he passes on TO The Gazette,
SKINS OVER the theatrical criticisms and
managerial pulls, and sometimes notices
the fluctuations in stocks; Tuesday and
Friday yon may fluid him shuddefing over
The Palladium, al the horIid recital of some
horrible casualty, orof some "nnlrdcr most
foul )" on Wednesday aud Saturday he
breakfasts with the honorable printer to
THE commonwealth, and on Saturday he is
confined at home with dyspeysta, his Sa-
tnrdays dcjcnne Of politics proving too
crude aud iudegestbIc for his delicate or
gans.
Leaving this little fellow Ia recover from
ms temporary lndspostion, will mention
another remarkable for the porerty of his
'lsasc. He looks, as was facciio,lsly OBJ
served In ME by a friend, extremely ,ra-
iTy. III, seems determined that no one
shall parfakc Of his enjoyment, and uses
every possible 'exrrtlOn 10 prevent any one
reading III company with him, Ills fhvo-
rite Journals are the Boston Patriot and
National Advocate. Since the cold wea-
Their commenced, he has evolved his Dig
nlty III cumbersome Mac Grcgor, and no
longer finds any difficulty in excluding all
other eyes from the paper before him
lis position ~ sely peculiar Lut admirably
adapted to his purpose; he spreads his
arms over the sides, lays his breast upon
the bottom and bringing the head within
Two inches of the surface, defes the most
strenuous efforts of the curious 10 catch
glimpse al its contents.
There is one odd being. who. 10 tbe
great amhscinent of his nclghbOilrs, reads
aloud and comments audibIy upon the sub
Jcct under his notice and another, who
possesses the happy faculty Of reading,
whlstling, aud drumming upon the table at
Que aud the same time, without any APP
pafant arrangement of IDEAS. These are
b0i few of the many, remarkable for
their pecnliaritlcs they are in fact "too
numerous to ncnlion.o
Very little diversity exists amongst f.
male readers, except, lthcrc is no rule with
out exceplionsl old maids read the obtua-
ny notices, whilst young maids look only
to the Hymcnlll calender, leaving auction
sales OF furniture 10 the perusal Of those
lovers of good bargains, the married la