Alexandria gazette & advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1822-1824, 1823-10-18
rs,ers. scald heads, and the isch.--

| the Lord Mayors Sn0w ana tue men
in armour so that, the window be-
| ing open, and they arranged before
il. with a good fire in the room, the
external air rushing in with a blast.
inevitably uroduceth a sore throat
which demandeth gargles. that they
may be able to swallow Internal '~me.
dies. These are contingent sources
of profit. which a prudent practiton-
er always keepeth in view. In the
summer time. as am fond of chill
dren, and wish them to be attached
TO me, because when the patientlack-
eth confidence, the disorder is made
quately treated always carry in
my pockets a store of nuts, unripe
apples. and especially green goose
berries and when ! meet them, ha.
wing first inquired ofthe young wo-
man concerning the health of the fa-
mily, and extorted its secrets under
a promise Of some lavender water, |
silly slip into the hands of the little
dearies sufficient to insure the gripes
in the course of the evening.
| Ooct'r Dietbread.-Mr. Solomon
Stirabout, you possess a rare union
Observation-Disclosures and know
ledge of the world; vast insight
into the lucrative science of diffusing
disease and concentrating emolu-
ments; a"feiicitous adoption of NOR
bid agents to subdue the refractory
energies 0f a sound constitution and
by a mastery contrivance--a deli.
cate metamorphosis--to commute the
roseate tints of health into the pallor
of disease.
Solomon Stirabout.- Dost thou
think, Sir Gingerbread Slumber, that
the Sir prrfxed to thy name on the
brass Mate, and the word Doctor o.
mitted. hath increased thy practice !?
| Art thou of opinion that the title hath
introduced thee to better Patients1
Sir Gingerbread.-All that is to
| come. As yet l am but green in
| knighthood, but I expect my honors
will speedily ripen into emolument.
The distinction was, may say, fOr-
ced upon me.
Solomon.--And thou vert forced
to pay for it, Verify, believe thou
wilt live to repent ofthy bargain.
While the lads in the village so
merrily, ali!
: Sound their mortars and chaunt
thy renown, thou mayest be knight
among doctors, but thou wilt never
be a doctor among knights. Serious.
ly methinks it will be long ere thy
pocket receives back the earnest thou
paidst at the Herald's College.
! Sir Gingerbread (to his next
neighbor, in 8 whisper. )-D-n
that quaker; but he will be drunk
presently. (Aloud.) Pray, Ducrr
! Rantipole. what is your opinion of
the laie assertion, that insanity is on
! the decIine?. Doyou think that mad
ness. by some specific action, is gra-
duaiiy assimilatings itself to good
{, senses
DR.. Rantipole.-Quite the contra
~. never dine with aparty where
there are Hst more lunatics thaa one
constantly at table. the present com
pany perhaps excepted.
Solomun.--is it true, friend Ranti-
pole, that thou hast controlling
power in thine eye to fascinate fa-
rious mailman into obedience and
tranqeilitye
Cataract.-That is vulgar error.
and ought to be exploded; it is like
the department in which practise
all my eye.
DR.. Dietbread.--Would not tho
suppression of all quaekery by autho-
rity render the profession more hon
orable, and its legitimate membets
more opulent Z
DR.. Rantipose.--By no means. To
a certain extent we all come under
the denomination of empires. The
innovation you suggest would be as
absurd as that of dispensing with
wearing apparel in society. The
garb Of mystery in which medicine is
enveloped is lis greatest protection
its decus ct tutamen. lfyou come to
lay it aside, all decent people wiIlaa
void you. 7#r.t'
DR.. Piacebo.--My practice is very
limited; but when | visit a patient |
always explain the nature of che dis
ease that afflicts him, and the opera