Massachusetts spy and Worcester advertiser. [volume] ([Worcester, Mass.]) 1823-1825, 1823-10-01
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From the Portsmouth, Journal.
A WASHING-DAY.

{" A time for all things. "-SolOmon.
s An hour before the worshipped sun
Peered forth the golden window of the east.
A troubled mind drave me TO walk abroad.''
Shakespeare.
PERHAPS it is not known to all the Bene-
diets who maenanimously live, Gas Captain
Dalgetty hath i'd " for their own peculiari"
who wisely shut themselves out from the COM
mon perils of domestic calamity, and snore as
long as they please every morning in their own
hired houses perhaps it is not known to
such most comfortably situated gentlemen,
what an event Washing-D Day is how, and
when, it begins, and when, and how, it ends.
A Washing Day at home, then, is the longest
day of the'week; it generally begins at o.
clock on the evening of Monday-and, con-
tinues foul weather with breezes, till the af-
ternoon of Tuesday.
The dreadful "notes of PREPARATION are
first sounded by the splashing of buckets full
of water, on the evening previous TO the ILL
fated day. 1t would seem as if the second
sack Of Troy had commenced; the hum of
buckets and kettles-the familiar I" household
words'' of Polly and Thomas and ,Nabby, re-
iterated from one extremity of the house to
the other, all indicate the force of the enemy,
and that the battle is waxing hot. Polly is
wanted in the name of the brass-kettle. Thorn
as is required in behalf Of the tub, and Nab
by is principal engineer Of empty buckets
Poor grmalkin is turned out of doors and
Ponto wisely chooses the barn, instead of
-scald. All sorts and sizes of the human dress
are collected from their lodging places, and
las Milton makes his devils throw dirt at each
other e in Ejaculation dire,'D thrown into a
mass in the kitchen,
But these, alas are only the preliminaries
of the business. Before,
Aurora, now, fair daughter OF the dawn,
Sprinklcs withrosy light the dewy lawn"
yes and before you have done with your first
nap-you hear strange sounds, above, be-
meath and around you start up; you first
think of thieves, then of Thunderstorm, rain,
hail and earthquake now you are wide "a
wake and realize the return of WASHING
DAY; and accordingly jump mechanically
from the bed, hang on your clothes, and make
precpitate retreat.
You secretly determine not to re-enter the
house till the end of the campaign, and most
resolutely and desperately do you set out on
your morning travels. But hunger, that
sometimes 4" cen the gods overtaxe,' over
takes you: with ominous foreboding, and sus-
picious fears, you return to reconnoitre the
ihe strength and position of the enemy and
at length boldly march into camp.
What do you want here 80 cries the better
half of yourself.
81 My breakfast love ~ "a soft answer turn
eth away wrath,) ''my breakfast, lOre"-you
reply.
Breakfast! breakfast! [elevatihg the
head to an awful altitude breakfast on
Washing Day."
By-and by you set down alone to your pre-
cious repast of burnt toast, muddy coffee, eggs
boiled to the capacity of grape shot, or perad-
venture not boiled at all you "pick clean
teeth'' for Is minutes, and in a huff make an
other desperate sortie from the house.
After suffering the "aching void'' of an
empty stomach through the forenoon, you
make another charge at one O'Clock with re-
newed impetuosity. On going into your din
ing room you see no preparation for dinner;
you incontinently ring the bell-no answer.
In utter dependency you fly into the kitchen.
1" And what do you want here 2" cries out
at once the whole battalion of scrubbers and
scourers.
Ny dinner'-you mournfully reply.
IS 1t is Washing
IS know it - You take handkerchief
from your pocket to allay perspiration.-Un-
lucky deed ! One of the sylphs who preside
over the tub claims it as her lawful victim.
My dinnern'-you eXclaim in faultering
accents.
8 The handkerchief" shouts the washer
Of clothes, louder than Othello.
My din" you family articulate.
1.-THE handk-."
You mediate an escape: you attempt to
run-you fall upon the slippery Aoor-you
damage your broadcloth, and you are rifed
of your handkerchief-you lose your dinner,
spirits, handkerchief, and all.
After meditatng upon your forlorn condi-
ton, in this state Of deep afliction-you make
a dinner, if dinner may be called that's din
ner none. Il. e.) You range the closets and
eat without method or discrimination. of but
ter and cake, and bread and apple, and
cheese and sugar.
You seize your hat, and run yourself as
much out of breath, as did the Bohemian.
Hayraddin Mangrabin, in the story of QUEEN
tin Outward, when the dogs were loosed upon
him.
You return at evening. Oh what altered
faces =
-" Hope enchanted, smiles,
And waves her golden hair"
Your wife smiles, and you smile. Even Pom
to growis pleasure, and grinalkin whispers
satisfaction. Every thing is regenerated; not
shred remains "unwhipped of JUSTICE"
You exclaim, sweet are the uses of ADVERSE
ty;"-you are comforted with the reflection
that your last meal is better than your first.
You had lost your dinner, your breakfast,
your temper and your handkerchief. hut now
you have found them all. You feel as ira
weller, who, after many hardships and nlisfor-
tunes, is at last restored to his friends, his
comforts and his home. You, (pardon me,
most KIND and gentle reader) (and reverend
selgniors alD kiss your wife and exclaim,
thus should desert in SIds-be crownd.''
A woman, residing in Duke street.