The Alexandria herald. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1811-1826, 1823-02-17

the cook was before magistrates where
she distinctly sworc to the utter impos.
sibili,y of any access 10 the beef without
her knowledge, and she solemnly denied
that sncb access was ever afforded. Tho
cook having failed the butler was resorted
to. The parson produced to him the slice
from the round, and asked him whether
!, was no, his property mo, said tho
butler, God bless me- said the parsoI,
.whata fool you are not to swear to beei.
He then produced the slice from the tool
box. AT all events, Joe, you VIII have
no hesitation i'm swearing that this and
the other came from the same round 8
No. replied Joe, sd rather say they
did not, because the one is much dvieT
than the other.' The old mathemati-
cian, when he solved the problem, and
exclaimed eureka, never felt one tenth
portion Of the parsons ecstacy-sits the
same Joe, it's the samc--irs only drier
because carried ii in my breaches pock-
et.' (Laughter.)
His next resources gentlemen, was the
plaintiff himself. The plaintiff was be-
wailing the robbery Of his dinner, little
forcseeing he was to be considered a
thief he told at once that he got the
beef from his aunt at Camberwell, but
parson Vialls'was not to be satisfied, nor
would he even make inquiry. Day after
day the man came TO his work, and day
afterday the parson eeset him. torment-
ing him hourly with the same questions,as
length his patience was quite exhausted,
u he said, as L am told in the presence OF
hi tNtt ASir II fnlI .k 1C.
aunt, and where she lived I'll answer
you no moro upon the subject; am rea-.
dy 10 prove my innocence before any ,ri-
bunal in the world" 10 the mean Time.
gentlemen, the beef was hourly affording
TO the parson another opportunity o: lee.
turing upon the muta5ility Of human aE-
fairs in other words, it was getting mus
ty s despatch was necessary. The par.
son sent it down, with strict command
that some OF the servants should dine on
II. The butler rejected ii as he was to
be witness 3 the kitchen maid swore
she'd not make her stomach receiver Of
stolen goods $ and the unfortunate cook
will tell you that she 6oited il herself in
order 10 prevent revolution in the
scnllery.-( Laughter.)
Win you believe, genilemen,that upon,
these grounds, aga iDst the speaking evil
dence of the mans daily return TO work,
against the oaths of his own servants, a.
Sainst common sense, merely because he
hada cold round IN his larder--this prop
OF the church, who keeps bis lordly man
sion, MS equipages and his retinue.. deter
mined 10 prosecute this helpless peasant
on charge of robbery a charge so laid
as to subJees him TO transportation. Did you
Ver,genilemen,he arof such a case as thisi
i remember 10 have heard of one, S bur one
winch occurred in another country. II
was not in lrelands gentlemen, though
Mr.. Gurney's smiling would seem 70 saw
so. Ii happened in America about fiGty
years ago. Johnny Hook, gentlemen,
was Highlander. He lived in one of the
most economical parts Of Scotland, until
he arrived al years of discretion, when of
course, he em;grated.-Laught y
II e arrived in America about the period
OF the revolution, having brought with
him from Scotland a little stout bullock,
which dare say he thought an apt en-.
Diem OF his countrymen.--Na
fatrietlsm is said to be hungry quality,
and unhaPpily for Johnny Hook, the A.
merlcan army encamped in the very field
where his bullock was grazing. The
bullock was soon sacrificed to the aDpe.
'ites OF the invaders of the field, and the
setting sun beheld but its last rib in exis.
tence. AT the conclusion of the war,
johnny set off from the farm, and, broughs
MS action against The American commits
sary ganeral for the price of his bullock.
ne defence was conducted by the in.
spired peasant, Patrick Henry--a name
Immortal in America, and which should
never die wherever talent and eenius
are held in estimation. He touched the
chords OF the jurors hearts, and when he
had pictured before them the perils and
pFlva'Ions which the American army had
undergone, the achievements and victo-
RES they had obtained, he exclaimed with
a feeling which soon became ontaeious--
but Who is this man who disturb. a ma.
''on' devotion, and at the very moment
Wnen they are With uplifted arms return
ing thanks to the God, of battles, ex.
Claims, beef, beef, beef"
In America the name of Johnny Hook
VIII never die. Genius has touched II.
ana made ii immortal-but what was
johnny Hook when contrasted with par
son Walls las a candle To the cum.