The Portland gazette. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1818-1824, 1823-12-23
MISCELLANY.


ball, and has already begun to CRAFTY her en-
W. hatred. and malice. Mr. skinner. the
tanner, 81 Norton Fslgate, has undefts ken a
lreem ~ The NEST comprehensive and DARING
kind. entitled the Creation. which promises
completely 70 eclipse Sir Richard Blackm0res
and Of which the headings Of the different
chapters are already composed. We are told.
exclaimed Aliss Caustic, after reading the plan
" this noble work, that al tile creation every
thing was msdevul Of nothing, but il appears
20 me. that this author has made nothing NJ
every thing. In answer 10 my observation
that Mr.. SchweitzkoHcr's verses were destined
10 Immortality, She cried with sneer,--~ Yes,
because he writes them to no end - aud When.
an crudite sonnet OF Mr.. McQull's was pro-
lnounced to smell Of the lamp, she pceyisbIy
whispered -" Az, il woHld smell Of the FIRE III
4 ia were treated rs il deserves But the chief
object Of her ill-natured ridicule is : literary
aagrnenon, whom am patronizing, genins
d he irst order. sltisuaeh at present 10 tie
humble occupation afcannan 70 Nessrs Tierce
and SsveetHan. gr0ccrs I'D Whitechapcl. This
I prodigy. IL be not grieyousIy mistaken. will
speedily eclipse all the Bristol miIlrwomcn,
farmers boys, Ettrick shepherds, Northamp-
J toushire peasants. and Dnmfries stonecuiteTs.
\ that ever burst their bonds, and set themselves
to work with their headsinstead Of their hands,
and get the members Of our club make him
the subject Their Jealous banter and IlhberalI
sarcasm, venting their misplaced Jokes nponI
his employment, which constitutes bis princ-
! pal claim TO admiration. Miss Csustic observes
\ that he will be able to driue a good bargain
with the booksellers, and that, as he goes every
morning TO take orders, be will be soon quail
ned Tor the living Of HOrselydoWn, or Tie Gu
/ racy Of Whitehall, ia which case he would be
quite at home in the Stable yard but Mr..
lM'Quill suggests that tie may be one of Hor-
aces Carmen SecUidre, and Of course ineligible
70 spiritual dignites, although by the nails inI
his shoes he seems already 10 be Of the order
! Of Pegasus. This gentleman sneenngly calls
him the philosopher Descartss, and at other
times terms him my Lord SALISBURY, obscrv-
ing that ms bad grammar is one of his Char
iacterstCs. Even MIR. Schweitzkofer. who
ought to have been superior TO such vulgar
rallery, anticipates that his wit will be attic.
because he must always have dwelt ia garrets,
and have frequently been to Grease, unless
lis wheels were scandalously neglected.
My bosom beat high al the interesting mo-
ment when first introduced him TO our AGA
demus that lie might recite one Of his poems,
and felt assured that he would make these
jeerers ashamed Of their witticisms, which. ar
ter all, were nothing but string Of miserable
puns lie appeared with bis whip in his hand,
to which instant exception was taken, as
completely reversing the established order of
things end The customary relation between
poets and critics, it being exclusively reserved
to Lord Byron to lash his reviewers. Mr.
| M'Quill accordingly went up to him, and ex-
claiming, -" Parce, puer, stimulus took the
instrument from him, and deposited il on the
table. Geo. Crnmp, for that is the NINE oil
the phenomenon, then drew paper from his
pocket, and very unafectedly began by
scratching his skull, at which an ignorant tit
ter was heard, and Miss Caustic, addressing
herself TO me, flippantly cried" Well, | am
agreeably disappointed, for begin TO think
the man really has something in his head.'' "A
young lady BY her side limited that he was only
pulling out verses with his nails, as a skull,
like any other territory, must be ploughed toI
make it productive; but / senced these stu
pid sarcasms by informing the sneerers that
this species of application was particularly
recommended to authors BY Aret@us, and is al
recorded pOetical practice Of such high an
Idquity. that il is presumed TO have suggested
The Psychological alegory Of Jupiter wounding
bis head ia order 10 let ont Minerva.
Dir. Crnmp having cleared his throat by al
loud hem and spit upon tile ground, al which,
Miss Canstic affected ridiculous disgust, be-
gan with loud voice TO read his
ECening al Elegy.
| Apollo now Soils carman, drives his stud
" Home 70 the News that's seated ID the West,
AID Customs clerks. Ike him. through Thames
street mud,
II Now westering wend, in Holland tFowsers dressd
So from the stands the empty carts are draggd,
n The horses homeward 70 their stables 70,
And mine, with hauling heavy hogsheads fagg'd
Prepare 10 q TASTE the Luxury of-Wo :"
Nov from the slaugbterhouses cattle roar,
Knowing that with the morn their lives they
i yields,
And MI Sweeiman's zig is at the door
/ To take him 70 his house in Hackney Fields
Closed are the gates cfthe West India Docks,
Runs. Sugars. Cole. find at length repose
And with other careless earmen hocks
Tothe Kings Head, the Chequsrs. or the Rose
They smoke pipe-she shepherds pipe ] wakes
Them skittles pleases-me the Muse invites
They ii their ignorance 10 drinking takes
Il bless'd with learning. takes pen and writes.
n Here there was such an unmannerly burst or
laughter chat Dir. Crump was unable 70 pro
/ coed. and several voices at once declared that
III would Be disreputable to the society TO i'd
r NIT such ungrammatical compositions into
their Album. Senseiess objection These
Iare Tie very evidences Of their genuincness,
land would no more have them removed, than
lw1uld Martinus have wished 60 scrub the
precious nrugo from the brazen shield, and
-linvsst itwith a new polish. When Mr..
lCapel Loft told Is that lie had merely correct
: ed a few verbal inaccuracies ia Bloomfield :
early predictions, their charm was az once
broken, for We knew not the extent Of these
revisions, and what was wonderful ~ peasant
would have been poor enough 10 gentleman.
AZ IN Ms Causfic's assertion that Mr. Crufnp
lcnouired NJ her. whether Mount Lima was a.
Be spelt with a whipthong, tmeaning diph-
thong belieTeit to be spiteful fabrication
,n5 - ~ ber rrctended regret, that he wsuid