The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1823-10-24
A WASHING DAY.
From the Portsmouth .iou1hul.
\ linn Cor nil llings. soi0bI on.


Pccrcd forth the golden window ol the east
4 troubled mind drove me 10 Asalh abroad
shatTeare.
Perhaps il is mol known To all the Bene.
diets who magnan,mohsly live. Gas Capt.
Daist4ty hath it, "far their onnrrculiar,o
who wisely shut themselves out from the
common perls of domestic calamity, ard
snore rs long as they please every mprn-
ing in their own hired houses perhaps it
is not known to such most romlnrtably
situated gentlemen, what an event II Wash
.ng Day is; how and when it begins,
aud when and how il ends. A Washing
Day at home, then, il the longest day IN the
week il generally begins IL o'clock in
the evening Of Monday and continues foul
weather, with bree2cs, gill the afternoon of
Tuesday.
The dreadful "notes Of preparation" are
first sounded by the splashng of booklets
ll OF water, on the evening previous tn
the ill-fntcd dHv. II would seem as If the
second sack ofg'roy had commenced the
hum Of buckets and kcttcs-the G,milar
" household wordsn of Polly and Thomas,
aud .Nubbn reiterated from one extremity
w llt ibbst1 w lnt blilNls dil iihliHtc llii
force OF tho cncmR aud that The battle IL
waxing hot Polly is wanted IN the name
Of the brass kettle, Thomas is required in
hchalf of the tub, aud Nabby is principal
cngineeer of empty buckets. Poor gri-
maxim is turned out of doors and Ponto
wisely choosrs the barn instead of scad.
An sorts aud sizes OF the human dress are
collected from their lodging, and, (as Milton
makes his devils throw dirt nj each other
" in iaculation dire thrown into u nvss III
the kitchen.
But these, alas are only the prelimina-
rics of the business. Before
-" Aurora now, fair daughter Of the dawn,
Sprinkles with rosy light The dewy lawn
yes and before you have done with your
FIRST nap--yon hear strange sounds ah.,e,
beneath, ard around you start up +; you
think first of thieves, and then of thunder
storms, rain, hail, and earthquake now
you are wide awake aud rcallze the re-
turn of Washing-D Day and accordingly
jump mechanically from the bed, hang
on your clothes and make precipitatc re-
treat.
You secretly determine moi To re enter
the house I'LL the end of the campaign, and
most resolutriy and desperately do you set
on your morning travels. Bnt even hun
"e'cn the gods o'ertake,"
ovcrtakes YOU ; with ominous lorcbnding
and suspicious fears, you return To recon
notre HE strength and position Of the
enemy; and at length boldly march into the
camp.
What do YOU wat hcre?n cries the
better half Of yourself.
any breakfast, love !" Ia soft answer
turnelh away wrath "my breakfast, lore
you reply.
Breakfast ! breakfast relcvating the
head To an awful alttud, breakfast on
Day !"
By-and-by you sill down alone 20 your
precious repast Of br. u, toast. muddy cot
fee, eggs boiled TO the capacity Ut grape
shot, orpcradyenture not boiled mt al-you
' picl. clean teeth" for 10 minutes, and In
a huff make another desperate soItie from
the house.
After suffering the aching void Of an
empty stomach through the forenoon,
you make another charge at one O'Clock,
with renewed impetnosity, On going Into
your dining room you see no preparation
'or dinner you iuconlinrnly ling Inc bell
no answer In utter dependency you
ly into the Kitchen.
"And what do you want here ?" cries out
At once the battalion of scrabbcrs and
5courers.
My dinner" you mourn(uly reply.
"ltis washing ,lay.n
q know il !" ion take handkerchief
rom your pocket To allay perspirn,ion.--
Unlncky deed Ono of the sylphs who
preside over the tub claims il as lrer lawful
victim.
My dinner !"--you exclaim in fauItcr
ng accents,
" The hS nGkerchief" shouts the wash
-r OF CLONES, louder than Ctbeflp.
NJ din" you faintly artlcnlate.
"t he handk-."
You mediate an escape; you attempt to
ruN--yon fall upon the slippery floor-you
damage your broadclotl, and you are
rihcd Of your handkerchief-.y0u lose
your dinner, spirits, handkerchief-and all.
After mcditating upon your forlorn
condition in this state Of deep. affection
you make dinner, irdinner may be eal
ed that's dinner none,--tL e. You range
the closets aud eat without method or dis
elimination, Of butter aud cake, aud bread
aud apple, and cheese and sugar.
You sclze your hat, aud run yourself as
much out ofbrcaih, AS did the Bohemian
Hayraddin Mangrabin, in the story of
Quentin Dnrward, when the dogs were
looscd upon him.
You return at evening. Oh What al