American watchman and Delaware advertiser. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1822-1828, 1823-07-15

NY
what what shall call thee by thou divine box of
|sounds!''
An lrishrnan went TO physician, and desired 10
|oe lnocuatcd-the physc asreeably 70 his re-
quest, proceeded to the operation, bu his inocula-
ton did not take He repeated the operation se-
cond time, but still it did not take. | am greatly
surprised, SAID the DOCTOR moi much as / am.
returned the HIbernan. for when | was inocu.ated
ten years since, Itoot the first time
merchant few miles from Petersburg, va. on
opening hog shead OF hardware, aud comparing
Its contents with the invoice OF IT, found d hammer
less than was charged therein. This he mentioned
70 ayonng lrishman, his assistant, who immediate
W eXclaimed-Och, my honey, don't be after
botheiing your head about that, didn't he nagur
take 1t ont 81 the hogshead to open ii ci.a.
A Lady going Into Drury Lane Theatre one even.
lag that Garrick played was so roughly ioslled bv
the crowd that her rutiles were torn of She enter
ed her box in perfect fury which was not lltle
increased by Mr.. w comphmenting her thai not
outstanding the rude usage she had met with she
was unrudaed.
The Parish clerk Of village in Deyonshire was
directed by the church wardens 10 give notice Ia the
congregation that Parson R. and Parson G. would
preach there alternately; Tor which be read thus:
the Congregation be desired to leak no,ise that
rich fatmer having wife who frequently 20,
intoxicated on cider, threatened her with speedy
burial and accordingly provided coffin Soon
alter she was taken up dead drunk, and conveyed
into the sable shel--The moment she revived. sun
posing herself in another world she knocked for
chilly against he lid, and thus addressed the in
habitan's: Children OF this world, have you here
any good cider?"
sequence OF bis incompetence, said he burnt his
ansideS out with rum.'' A Frenchman having oc-
cason to relate The TACT and wishing to preserve
the same phraseology, said, "Rum burnt HIM ,cron-
side 0ateGrIs.
This reminds US Of an anecdote which we have
heard related OF Ffenchman who was in the hanit
OF quarrelllng with his wife. In one of their ma.
trimonls squabbles, he wished to bestow upon her
the epIteth OF "one id bitch''-but not recollec-
ing the phrase, he called her 'sone id dog's
wife."
clergyman in the neghborhood OF Kelso dis
tinguIshed for his Righteousness, was wont TO men.
ton the following incident having occurred to
himself: "Havng walked out very frosty NOR.
Ting CHANGED to meet boy, mounting upon
horse OF prodgious size, who was crying bitterly.
"What is the matter with you, my little fellow 20
/ enquired. 81 cauld, sir, very cand " Then
get off, walk little, and you will soon become
warm ooh, sir, mana do that; the horse isa
narrowed ane, and my father told me to be sure to
taxi penny worh's O. it,
The Marshal de Turenne being one day alone
in the box OF the play house, some gentlemen came
in, who, not knowing him. would oblige him to
yield his seat in the FIRST row They had the inso-
ence, upon his refusal, to throw his hat and gloves
upon the stage. The marshal, without being mo.
ved desired lord Of the first quality to hand them
up to him. The gentleman, finding who he was,
blushed, and would have retired but he, with much
good humor, enireated him to stay, saying, that if
they would sit close, there was room enough for
them all.