The Portland gazette., 1823-10-07
From the Portsmouth, Journal.
A WASHING DAY.

Z" A time for all things Solomon
- An hour before the worshipped sun
Peered forth the golden window Of the east,
troubled mInd dTave 70 walk abroad"
Shakespeare.
PERHAPS il is not known to all the Benedicts
who magnanimously live, (as Capt Dalgetty
hath I'D Z" for their own peculiar" who wisely
shut themselves out from the common perils Of
domestic calamity, and snoFe as long as they
please every morning in their own hired houses :
perhaps il is not known to such most comforta-
oily situated gentlemen, what an event a Wash
ng-Day is how, and when, it begins, and
when, and how it ends. Washing Day at
home, then, is the longest day of the week it
generally begins at o'clock Oh the evening OF
Monday-and, continues foul weather with
breezes, till the afternoon of Tuesday.
The dreadful =" notes of preparation" are first
sounded by the splashing of buckets full of wat
er, on the evening previous to the ill-tated DAY.
1t would seem as if the second sack of Troy had
commenced 1.-THE hum of buckets and kettles
the familiar " household words" of Polly and
Thomas and Nabby, reiterated from one eAtrem-
lty OF the house to the other, all indicate the
force OF the enemy, and that the battle is waxing
hot-Polly is wanted i'm the name of the
brass kettle, Thomas is required in behalf OF
the tub, and Nabby is principal engineer OF
empty buckets. Poor grimalkin is turned out
OF doors and Ponto wisely chooses the barn,
instead of scald. All sorts and sizes OF
the human dress are collected from their
lodging places, and, (as Milton makes bis devils
throw dirt at each other Z" in jaculation dire, ")
thrown into mass in the Kitchen.
But these, alas are only the preliminaries Of
the business. Before,
"Aurora. now, fair daughter of the dawn,
Sprinkles with rosy light the dewy lawn
yes and before you have done with your first
nap-yOu hear strange sounds, above, beneath
around you start up you first think OF
thieves, then of thunderstorm, rain, hail and
earthquake now you are wide awake and real
ze the return Of WASHING DAY and accord
ingly jump mechanically from the bed, hang on
your cloths, and make preciptate retreat.
You secretly determine not to re-enter the
house till the end of the campaign, and most
Iresolutely and desperately do you set out Oh
your morning travels. But hunger, that some
times " cen the gods overtake," overtakes you
with ominous foreboding, and suspicious fears
you return to reconnoitre the strength and posi-
ton of the enemy ; and at length boldly march
into the camp
" What do you want here Z" cries the better
half of yourself
" My breakfast, love !" "a soft answer turneth
away Wratn), " my breakfast, tore You reply
Breakfast breakfast [elevating the head
to an awful altitude breakfast on a Washing
Day ?"
By-and-by you set down alone to your pre-.
ciOus repast of burnt toast, muddy coffee, egg.
boiled to the capacity of grape shot, or perad
venture not boiled at all--you pick, clear
teeth" for Is minutes, and in a huff make ano
ther desperate sortie from the house
4 After suffering the " aching void" of an emp
ty stomach through the forenoon, YOU max,
another charge at one o'clock, with renewed
Iimpetuosity. On going into your dining room
you see no preparation for dinner you inconti
nently ring the bell--no answer. In utter des
lpondency you fly into the kitchen
And what do you want here g'' cries out a
once the whole battalion of scrubbers anC
scourers.
My dinner"-you mournfulIy reply.