The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1823-11-04

! plOson-ali puns by recurrence, all psns
by repetition, aud all puns by anticipation,
are prohibited
Secondly, all words spelt differently,
having a similar sound, which are carefully
c"llated and arranged in catalogue prefix
ed for the use of little pumpkins AT schools,
To ENTFcK's small dictionary, of whgteser
sort, KIND or nature they may be, are pro
hibited-take for example
AuGUR Il soothsayrr.
AUGER a carpenters tool.
| ALL every one.
Anvil shoemaker's gimblet.
HAUL for the Cocknies) To pub.
HALL a vulgar proper name.
B0AR ale pig.
Bone Mr.. CREEvELY.
WAX the produce OF bees.
WHAcKs-thumps on the head aud body
and so on.
In the next place, all the following ira
yelling puns are strictly prohibited
All illusions upon entering ii town to the
pound and the stocks knowing man by
his gait aud not liking his Styie--caling
tall turnpike keeper colossus of roads
paying the post boys charges of rags and
mcans-scelng no SirH OF an inn--or, re-
plying, Sir, you are out, to your friend who
says he does-talking of a hcdger having a
| stake in the bdnk--all illusions TO sun and
ar To new married conple--all stuff
about village belies--callmg the belf,y II
court y u pedt--saying, upon two caipen-
ters putting up PalIngS, that they are very
pedcedhle men 10 be fencing IA d iield-aIl
| trash about :" maRorS make the man." in
the shooting season--and all such stuff
| about trees, after this fashion" that's IA
poplar tree--FIl turn over Il new lent, and
make my bough," &c. Sc.
Puns upon field sports, such AS racing
| being matier.of course horses Surfing
without being shy--a good shot being loud
of his but and his barrst---Or saying that IA
man fishing deserves rod for taking such
hae II he is sitting under bridge, ealici
ing him an arch f,llow--or surprising HIN
a n.bletnan because he takes his place a.
| mong the pierS--o, that he will catch no.
thing but cold, aud 40 fish by hook or by
crook. All these are prohibited.
To talk yellow pickles at dinner, and
say the way to I'arn'.m Green is through
Hammersnith-al allusions To eating men,
Tor Eton men, or Sd1aes on the table-cloth
or Egg han, are all exploded--as are all
stuilabout MAIDS and Ihorab0ckS aud plaice
or saying to a lady who asks you 10 help
her 10 the wing Of chicken, that it is
mere matter ola ptnion--all quabbes about
dressing hare and cutting it-aII stuff about
a merry fellow being given to 'cine-or up
on helping yourself 10 say you have IA pia-
t0nac affection for roast beef---or when fried
fish runs short, Staging In the mistress of
the house, with Tom MooRE--
! 4 Your sole through, very sweet sale, love,
| I" Will ne 'cr be suilic .enl Tor me-
are all banished.
AT the play house never talk of being
Pdtite because you happen not tn be in the
h"Nes--never observe what II hehn eye one
| actor has, or that another can never grow
old because he must always be- Young
! never talk of the uncertainty of Mundane
affairs in a farce, tt observe how terry.biy
| we'll man plays Mr.. SIMPsoN--banish
from your MUD the possibility of SAYING
The Convent Garden manager has put his
hest Foot forward, or that you should like
| to go 10 Chester for day or two--or that
you would give the world to be tied 10
Iree--or that Mr.. .Haehready is pre-
:, Sentdbte actur--ali such stull is intcrdct
| ed.
In speaking of parliament forget BRooM
| and Birch, WoOD and CoLE-ScARLErr
and WHITE, LAMB and the LEAKEs, the
HAREs and HERoSs, the CooTEs and the
BRuINs-such .iumblcs will lead into great
difficulties, and invariably end, without Ia
s., finite caution, in an observation that the
conduct of that house is always regulated by
the best possible Manners.
| There are some temptatonsv difficult
to avod-for instance, last Saturday we
SAN gaZetted as bankrupt, " SIR joins
! LADD, Cornhill, matchmaker !" Now this,
we confess, was proYocatlop hard Of re-
sIslance-n hen one sees a lad Of sixty four
set up only to break dolen, and perceives
that whatever he may do with matches, he
could not make Il case before the lpsoISent
! Debtors Court and moreover since his
taking To watch making. arose from his ha-
wing, in the spring of iifr, gone upon tick,
| and that the circumstance may be consid-
cred az a striking instance Ola bud Wind up.
we admit that in the hands of a young be
ginner such thing is quite irresstibles but
such temptations should be IA, oided as much
| as possible.
| W" have not room to set down all the
7. ohlbited pnns estant hat we have just