Martinsburgh gazette. [volume] (Martinsburgh, Va. [W. Va.]) 1810-1825, 1823-05-15

contempt for his trouble, and loses his
character while he spends his breath. -
He is to be pitied, but out Of very pity
the lash should not be spared. perad-
venture the evil might be driven out oil
him.
JocuLARIrY does very we'll when well
timed and not carried too far-thOugh
there are some kinds of jokes that do not
relish well. For example, there's Eel
low who affects to be a Z" wild one ;" the
girls, believe, half like him too, but
this aside he makes his entrance at
party with cap in hand, and all rise TO
receive him; he dexterously slips beside
you, and when you attempt to resume
your seat draws the chair back, and
lets YOU come down Ola the floor with a
thump that almost make passage
through the floor, into the cellar; or he
takes bis spectacles out, wipes them aud
claps them on your face then, protest
ing he mistook your head for his own,
seizes hold of the optics and fairly skins
your nose in pulling them off; or per
haps he seizes you by the ear aud blows
blast loud enough to be heard half a
mile into it, pretending that he took for
a deaf friend of his. Hundreds of tricks
live these are played, and | have thought
before now Of advertising all jokers to
keep out of the reach Of my arm when
they play OF their squibs on me.
The days of EARRINGS and NECK
LAcEs are almost past. I'm glad OF it
in the first place icannot bear to see
an innocent delicate little soul, sub
hitting to the operation Of having her
ear run through with shoemaker's awl
and in the second, | dislike this spend.
ing money for that which benefiteth not
Pigs wear rings IN their noses, and we
halter our horses, but is to keep them
out of mischief, and 1t does do it--whlle
ringing and hatering ladies', every DO
! dy knows. has no such effect on them.
| Whatever is worn merely as an ornament
ought not to be worm at all. | an a
friend to taste and neatness-l like to
see ladies dress prettily-dear creatures,
| they should always look little fine, for
then we take so much the more plea
sure in looking at them Il like to see
| a handsome comb, and gold watch. tor
| these are useful and ornamental but
earrings and chains dangling about the
ears and neck, dislike hope they
NAV grow entirely out OF fashion.
PRIDE works some curious things
Do you see that dandy tripping along in
his gloves and white stocking--he
wouldn't be seen following wheeIbar-
row or bringing a bucket of water, or
chopping wood for doIar--he's proud
and above it. Bat there's man with
his stockings about his heels, and an old
slouch OF hat, and patched coat whose
shoes are not brushed, or his beard sha-
ven, and yet he has wealth and is &C
counted man of talent-he's proud and
above beng--I had almost said-decent.
Truly, as saith the proyerb, wisdom lies
between two extremes.
MArRIMoNY has its advocates and its
enemies after all it's a good thing, il
not abused. True you may stumble up
90 Il bad partner, and that will be bad
enough, bet you may meet with misfor
tunes in any course OF llte-the world is
full of them--the best possible rule is. if
you want to make good wife, be good
husband lfyou would have an indul
geat husband be a tender. forbearing
aud aft tonate wife. ln more than half
the cases OF unhappy matches the truth
is that there is much fault on both sides.
There's maxmi in common life, :" mend
your own manners and your neighbours
will mend theirs" 1t applies to mat
rimony as we'll as TO intercourse in gen.
eral.
81 FORGOT IT." said Sam SHAMELESS
to his customer whom he had promised
round of beef for dinner--'' forgot il !"
What could be said more the man had
to 60 without his dinner, but he changed
his custom. forgot it, said man who
promised to pay bill on certain day
the creditor was disappointed, but no
thing could be done, the man forgot it,,
says the mechanic who has neg ected a
piece of work that ought to have been
done. forgot it Heaven preserve US
from these forgetful fellows-they turn
all our calculations upside down, and
make US as unfaithful to our promises as
they are themselves. But bark we you
have no business to make promise if
yoU can't remember to fulfil it. Please
to bear that in mind-fOr people ought
not to suffer for your careessness.
A GOOD CHARACTER IS to a young
man what irm foundation is to the art
list who purposes to erect a dwelling on
it he can build with safety, and as all
who behold it will have confidence in it's
sOlidity, a helping hand will never be