The Alexandria herald. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1811-1826, 1823-11-28

4
times faster than the fellow, with tb,
white face but after biackenine his fac,
you bend his knee, or tie bis leg, ne vii
hop eight times. faster than .he white
faced fellow | Showed you first.
| Now Wiener you blow your pipe.
Donald, remember this, tighter these Eel
lows legs are tied. the faster they will rur
and the quicker they are sure to dance.
HOW TO TAME A HUSBAND.
| A tradesman, who lived in a village
near St. Albans.who had been twice mar
ried, and iB-trea,ed his wives so az 10
cause their deaths He sought for third
but as his brutality was well known in the
place where he dwelt, he was obliged
to go FIFTY miles of for wife.
He obtained ore, and alter he brought
her home, all the neighbors came 10 Wis.
1T her, and acquainted her in what man
ner her husband used TO treat his former
wives. This somewhat surprised her,
but she resolved 10 wait patiently till her
lord and master might take it into bis
head to beat her. She did moi wal, long,
Tor her husband was a terrible fellow.
One morning he waited on his lady
with oudsel, and was preparing himself
to make use Of it. "Stop," said she. 81
fancy that the right which you now pre-
tend to have over me is not mentioned in
our marriage contract and declare to
your worship you shall moi exercise il -
Such distinct speech disconnected the
husband so much, that he laid down his
cudgel, and only began 10 scold her.
"Get ont ofmy house." said he, sapd let
us share our goods 'tReadily," said she,
"i am willing TO leave You !" and each
began TO set aside the moyeables. The
lady loosens the window curtains, and the
gentlemen unloe Ks an enormous trunk in
order 10 fill it with his property but as
he was leaning over to place some arti.
cles at the bottom, she tripped up his
heels, pushed him and locked the lid.
Never was man in greater passion
than our man he threatened to kill her,
and made more noise than a wild boar
canuhf IN tran Che
quietly; 'My dear friend, pray be calm,
your passion might inIure your health
refresh yourselfa little in this comfortable
trunk for love you too much TO let YOU
out now you are SO outrageous In the
mean time she ordered her maid to make
some custards and cream tarts, and when
these were baked and ready, she sent
round TO all The neighboring gossips to
come and partake OF her collation..
This was served up, not on a table but
on the lid Of the trunk. Heaven knows
what pretty things the husband heard all
these famous tatlers publish in his praise
In such case, a wise man must sub
nit and give fair words. So Gid our
friend IN the chest. His language was
soothing he begged pardon, and cried
tor mercy. The ladies we're so good as
TO forgive him, and let him out of the
trunk. 10 reward him for his good be-
haViour, they gave him The remainder OF
the custards and tarls. He was thus
completely cured of his brutality, and
was afterwards cited as model for good
husbands so that it was sufficient 10 saw
to those who were not so, 10 take care Of
the trunk, TO make them as gentle as
lambs, like himself. Eng. ma
a young Irishman who had married
when he wat about nineteen years Of age
complaining Of The difficulties which hi
early marriage had subjected him, sale
ne would never marry so young if he liv
ed to be as old as Methusalah.
An immoral dyer, complaining tina
he could hot fix bis colors, was advised Il
effect it by reformation in his conduct
GLOW SO :" "Because you must Ave eI
| if you wish TO dye WELL"