The Massachusetts spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1821-1823, 1823-05-21

any Society. linus, IN morning call,
if two strangers happen to be left to-
gether, how agreeably they may pass
the time in enlarging upon the above
topicks. "a very hot day, SIR" Yes,
indeed, Sir; my thermometer stood 80
in the shade. Pray Sir, are you pelatcd
to the Rev. Jeremiah Jollison? hope
he is well.'-" | am his brother Sir; he
died two years ago. God bless me
but it's more than two years since saw
him. Pray, Sir, what do you think of
Spanish bonds p Sc.
Such is the conversation you general
ly hear after dinner, (belore dinner there
is none, in stage-coaches, and hotels,
and at watering places. 1t is most suit
able for adults. The grand difficulty in
this kind of small-talk is 10 discover apy
subject; for as imagine it to be meta
physical truth, that the mind cannot, CT
mcro nsotu suo, cali up any subject it
peasea. the dialogue must necessarily
depend on the power of association in
the brain of the individuals who main
tain II. 1t requires great presence of
mind to call up sufficient number OF
topicks to meet a sudden emergency
Thus, when you meet friend in the
street, who, in spite Of your attempts to
pass him with nod, 7uilI stop and speak
to you, how awkward is it to have moth
ing to say! This happens to me con-
tinually. When you have shaken hands
and the one has said "a fine day." and
the other, "yes, very" you stand for
few moments gazing with a vacant
sort of look upon one another, shake
hands again, and part. The same acct
dent sometimes happenin morning calls.
After having exhausted all common
places of civility, you feel yourself sud-
denly run on shore. 1t is in vain you
attempt to think of some subject of
discourse the longer you search, the
further you are from it; except the
conviction that you can find nothing to
talk about, your mind is tabulG rdsG.
Your guest at last rises, and puts you out
OF your agony.
There are some people, however,
who have genius for small-talk. Their
stock seems boundless. 1t is no matter
where, or with whom, or upon what
they are talking: still it flows on and
on sin one weak, washy, everlasting
flood" 1t is great intliction to be the
only person in company with these in
veterate small-talkers. Their discourse
makes ones head ache 1t is like the
perpetual dropping of water upon the
crown of ones pericranium, To me,
however, such people, if their CONVEX
sation is not addressed to me, are a
great relief. They save me the trouble
of attempting to talk, and the mortiIica-
ton of failure.
Every one must have occasionally ex-
perienced the uphill, heart-breaking la
bour of talking to an impenetrable person.
Well, what sort of a day bad you p
said to lively friend Of mine. ooh
my dear Peter" said he, 81 had the ill
luck to be seated at dinner next to the
drearicst young lady you ever did not
talk with. She seemed to be afraid lest,
if she opened her mouth, jewels and
roses would fall from it, and she should
lose them Il did do all that might be-
come man, tried her with Byron
| tried her with Moore--I tried her
with the Theatre tried her with Wal
ter Scott-l tried her with the Park
tried her with Albert-with Noblet-
with Mrs. Hannah .Moore---with the
tread-wheel--the frost---quadrillcs--
lancers--Sir Charles Grandson, and
Spanish boleros." -" All but, my dear
FRIEND" said |, " did you try her with
dress ? Did you tell her of the Valen-
ciennes lace which you brought over the
other day the collar Of your coat? lsee
where your mistake lay. Instead ftalk-
ing to her of books, you should have talk
ed Of book-muslin. You should have dis
coursed ofmilliners instead of authors, of
flounces instead of poems. You occa-
sonally meet with the same sort Of peo-
pie in stage-coaches. Beautiful coun-
try this we are travelling through, STRIP
Yes, Sir Seine cattle this stage,
STRIP yes, Sir "Did you get any
sleep in the night, Sir?, mo, Sir
: Did you see the papers before we set
Of, Strip mo, Sir !'--and SO the con-
versation terminates.