The Portland gazette. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1818-1824, 1823-01-07
MISCELLANY.
From he Portsmouth, Journal.

From TIE Portsmouth .jOuT1SdL.
Mr.. Z Iitor-A new Power has arisen among
rs. Ii will be useless TO look into the constitution
Or laws for an account of his authority for it IS
paramount 10 all laws or constitution. His name
Is KING CAUCUS. He commands a select body
Of troops called OUR PARTY "a very formula
Die force in other times, but at present stragg-
ing over tue whole country, without object, or
discipline. King Caucus is in great ponderings
about making a President. He wishes to secure
his own power, as well as to please Our Party.
But the difficulty lies here he cannot tell who
belongs to Our Party. His troops are SO bcwild-
cred, they do not know themselves They can
scarcely tell their right hand from their left 8
like the new recruits in an European regiment.
1t was at one time proposed to dress them in red
ncbCts-likc boiled lobsters-but King Caucus
doubted, aud the plan, though wise one, has not
yet been generally adopted.
! A Watchman" has sounded his trumpet in
Maine, and its echoes have returned from Vir-
giuia butnot SOLITARY trooper has been brought
back TO the ranks by it. He proposed TO Our
Party to swear interminable hostility against all
who differ from us but still the difficulty is to
know lcho differ from Us. We are all Republi-
cans if we are not all Federalists and for augllt
| can see there is great danger Of our all think
I ing alike. The whole Of this mischief, Il speak
it with rcverence,) arises from the unutterable
doubtings and pondcrings OF King Caucus. fine
would bat whisper TO us, whom lac intends shall
be our next President, we should have at once
broad line of party -distinction.-Our friends
would make the welkin ring with the delightful
Shibbotetb, and every sufferer or stammerer
should be thrust out without ceremony from our
ranks. But while King Caucus hesltates, Our
Party must do something to save themselves from
being confounded with their enemies We are
already Oh the verge of rum and not mo-
ment should be lost. ANY thing will do Tor par
t. distinction. All Chrstcndom was once shook
to its foundation by the respective partisans of
Homoouslon and HoDtoiousion, of which your
readers will find an account in any ecclesiastical
history. | would propose an eXpedient much
more obvious and simple. Let the standard of
our party be bodily stature. As all great men
have been small men--witness all history
would fix i've feet six inches in hcigth, and TWEEN
ty inches in circumference, as the maximum Of
a genuine Republican. Il any man dares to de-
vate from this standard, yetralcb him Mr.. Editor
-retrenct him. None of your aristocraCy of
height, and prodigahty OF bulk in Our Party !!
Economy is the order of the day ; and there
should be economy IN flesh, as well as i'll purse.
1t is perfectly certain that no man who PARISHES
upon hiinsefthe good things of life, and is al the
cost Of maintaining pair Of fat checks and a
double chin, can he friend to bis country. He
is a prodigdi at first sight. He is not only no
friend to his country, but lie is a direct enemy 10
the constitution. That sacred charter Of our
Liberties declares that all men should be free aud
equal. But desire to know what equality there
is between two feet, and double yard, in the
girth A fat man is, 'er Fci neccSSitate, tyrant
and of course cannot belong TO our party. He
encroactes upon our space he mOnopoii<es the
common sun and air; nay, he Expresses the
ground on which he walks. Let no such man
be trusted"
do not know, Mr.. Editor, whether tried by
this standard, you are perfectly orthodox your
SELF Since cold weather come on think have
marked some prodigat blood in your checks -
aud tremble for you.-Rctreach; while yet you
NAV. But in looking round upon the whole corps
of Printers and Editors, in this town and neigh
bourhood, am, upon the whole, pretty we'll sat
isfcd. You all sufficiently economical in flesh,
and do not need much retrencjtDsent. / congratu-
late YOU and the community upon your orthodoxy;
and with pleasure acknowledge YOU all, as mem
bers Of Our Party till King Caucus shall 9th
erwise ordain. RED JACKET.