The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1823-09-12
HOW 10 GET OFT.

Our readers Will probably fccoi-
leCt humorous anrcdote, Ia verse.
entitled Marks and Remarks. which
was published in this paper two OF
taree years since. khe following il
another anccdotc, told Of The same
eccentric. though, il is said. worthy
divine, who was the subject Of that
story, (the Rev. Emanuel Globe,
and may afford some amusement 10
the lovers OF ccctntricity. Having
a few summers ago determined tn
make n tour. he took leave Of his
Hook, over whose souls his care was
extended, with more than ordinary
feelings of good will but. as lie was
what the world calls Il good liver"
he extended his care likewise over
that generous and inspiring be, erage
which promotes - The feast OF reason
and the flow of sonl"-in short, he
possessed Il cellar well stored with
The true Falcrnian. This store must
be allowed To have naturally deman-
ded his attention behle he left home,
and its security in his absence was
what every man of common care
would have cndeayored to promote
as far as possible.
With this intention, therefore. the
Doctor rang his bell, and his faithful
servant John Immediately stood be-
fore him. Then, taking out of his
pocket a half-crown, he said, "herc,
John, take this. go TO the black
smiths in the village, and buy with
it three tcn-pcnny nails" John, dc
lighted with his errand, immediate
ly repairs to the habitatim of the
disciple of Vulcan, and. paying him
for the three nails, quietly profits by
his masters idea Of the number of
nails to be had for two shiliings and
sixpencc, by pockcting tho differ
ence, and then, erowding all sail,
appears again in his masters pre-
scncc. Every well, Jolm,' says the
Doctor, snow bring me candle
and a hammer, and go with me into
The wine cellar to nail up the door"
Picture to yourself now the worthy
Doctor and John, in the subtcrra-
nc0us vaults, consulting the safety
of the choice spirits there immured.
1" Give me tie candle. John. shut the
door, and drive nail in here at the
top" John hammered. "Hit it
hard, John, drive it up to the head"
g." have, SIR" Now drive in IA
mother here above the lock, JOHN
d" Yes, SIR "Up to the head,
John" Il will, sir" "Now, the
third a little way from the bottom,
John" - Yes. SIR" This being
accomplished, both paused to view
the work, when the Doctor cxclaim
ed with exultation, "Now, ,.ohn, |
think we have done the business Gle
verify; you don't think any body can
manage to getin now, John, do you!"
John, however, it seems, during the
pause at the conclusion Of driving
the nails, had reflected that he was
on The wrong side of the door to run
away. and had nailed himself and
his master up in the cellar along
with the wine, in their anxiety to
prevent others from getting in he
very iaeonically observed,
in reply to this question:" No, sir,
| am afraid nobody can get in; but
how are we to get out ?" Conviction
then first flashed upon the Doctors
mind, and being considerably an
noyed at his situation, he replied with
warmth, You stupid fellow, John,
why, why, why, did you not tell me
at first, John, you great fool, John ?
Shout, John. Oh dear, We are fas.
Shout and raise the house, John the
servants must get assistance and
break the door d0an." How the
worthy Doctor and John were libe-
rated from the cellar, we have never
heard. Salem GdZette.
-olS-
SHORT ANSWERS.
From he Polt8mouH IN. H. Journal
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