The Alexandria herald. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1811-1826, 1823-03-21
MISCELLANEOUS.
CONFESSIONS OF A DauNKARD.

Il
and truth, e calculated to make seriou.
impression upon those who arc given &c
this dreadful vice. A late paper stated
that in the London bills Of mortality, fol-
certain period, only four persons were
reported as having died from intempe.
rance, while fen times that number were
returned in Boston from the anne cause
1t is a dreadful contrast. The writer oil
the article depicts his follies in glow.
ing terms. Page 1855, ne says -
Twelve years ago bad completed my
six and twentieth year. had lived from,
the period of leaving school till that time
pretty much in solitude. My compsn<
ions were chiefly books, or at most one or
two living ones of my own book-lovine
and sober stamp. rose early, went to
bed betimes, and the fac ulties which God
had given me, have reason TO think, did
not rust in me unused.
About that time I fell in With some
companions of d'fTelent order. They
we're men, of boister'us spirits, sitters
up nights, disputarts, drunken (; yet
seemedgto have something noble about
them. We dealt about the wit, or what
passes for It after midnight, jovially. Of
the quality called fancy, certainly pos
sessed larger share than my compan-
ions. Encouraged by their applause, I
set up for professed Joker! I, who of
all men are least fit for such an occupa.
ton, having in addition to the greatest
difficulty which I experience at all times
offnding words to express my meaning,
a natural nervous impediment in my
speech
Reader, ifyou are gifted with nerves
like mine, aspire to any character but
that of wit. When you find a tickling
relish upon your tongue disposing you to
that sort of conversation, especially if you
find rreternstural flow Of ideas setting
in upon you at the sight Of hottie and
fresh glasses, avoid giving away to it as
you would fly your greatest destruction.
If you cannot crush the power OF fancy,
or that within you which you take for
such, divert il, give it some other play.
Write an essay, pen character or des,
eriptioD. but not as do now, with tears
trickling down your cheeks.
To be an object of compassion TO friend
of derision to foes to be suspected b.
strangers, stared a: by fools to be es.
teemed dull when you cannot be witty,
to be applauded for witty when you know
that you have been dull to be called
upon Tor the exiemporaneous exercise
OF that faculty which no reconciliation
can give to be spurred on to efforts
which end in contempt to be set on to
provoke mirth which procures the pro-
cureF hatred to give pleasure and to be
paid with squirting malice; to swallow
draughts of life destroying wine which
are to be distilled into airy breath to tickle
vain auditors to mortgage miserable
morrows for nights of madness to waste
whole Seas of time upon those who pay
1t back in little inconsiderable drops Of
grudglng applause are the wages of
buffoonery and death.
Time which has sure stroke at dis.
solving all connexions which have no soli-
der fastening than this liquid cement,
more kind 10 me than my own taste, has
at length opened my eyes to the suppos-
ed qualities Of my friends. No trace oil
them is left but in the vices which they
introduced, and the habits they irfxed
In them my friends survive still, and ex-
ercise ample retribution for any suppos-
ed infidellty that may have been guilty
Of towards them.
The waters have gone over me. Blu
out Of the black depths, could be heard
| would cry out to all those who have bu
set foot in the perilous food. Coult
the youth to whom the favour Of his frs
vine delicious as the opening scenes o
life, or the entering upon some newly dis
covered paradise, look into my desola
ton and be made to understand what