Martinsburgh gazette. [volume] (Martinsburgh, Va. [W. Va.]) 1810-1825, 1823-11-27

u WdFIdHt upon tuC iutOIUlduOu VI liz
wife, who had sworn The peace against
him. After being informed by the sit
ting Magistrate Alderman Dunslay) Of
the charge laid against him, he asked
permission to ssumnat in his exculpi-
tation.D
"Wel,' said the worthy magistrate,
you are at liberty 10 say what you please
in your defence.n
Why, then, please your Worship, L
can show as how my wife took the law
into her own hands before baisted her
at alp
.Hagistraie--Did she strike you first?
HaS5and-No, your Worship, but if
you'll please to hear my tale, YOU shsll0-
know all about it; first if you please ttt
hear me, you must know that is of a
very hot temper, and she's plagy hot, as
well as /, well you know, says to her
yam morning, Bessy my lass, wen split
our disturbances, tame of us shall be
master yam year, and t'other OF US next
year in regular succession; well, please
your Worship, she agreed to this regu-
larment, and been't master all last year;
the time you know that her time expir-
ed wa. last Friday four months. Wen,
your Worship, of Friday four months, l
told you that was ganging TO be mais-
ter; well do you know your Worship,
she took Flaw into her hands, and she'd
be felfed if SIZE wouldn't remain mais-
ter tor the t'next year; so, has put up
with the degradation till last Friday
wcrn't it that day Bessyl
Wfs--'Till last Friday.
HasbaRd--Wel and then as how L
thought law wad tnhorise ME to baist
her, as she had ta'en flaw into her hands.
JMag.-Woman what have you to say
to this ingenious defence'
WJe-Please your Worship, know
Use guilty Of the alledgment he has laid
again me, I'se sorry for what l've done!
I hope as you'll forgive me this time
and ri try lin pointing to he- hus-
band till he misbehaves himself again"
The magistrate then advised her in
future to let her husband be the master;
and after making mutual promises to
kiss and be friends, they retired, highly
delighted to have their differences ami
cably settled--N. York Herald.
Sco7ds.-An ancient instrument cf
punishment which was fou eriy used
for the correction Of scolding women,
is in possession OF the corporation Of
Newcastle. lis called the Brauks,
aud u hen in use was found TO be of
great consequence in queliir2 thai un-
iuly member, the tonaus. l. may
properly be termed an iron mask. hsv-
ing spike so contrived al to euler
the mouth, ard hold Gown The noisy
organ. IF the offender stee,pts 10
speak when undergoing this punish
a,en,. sharp hint is given of,he he-
cessiiy of preserving silence.
Calculation. An freshman being
asked witch GAS the elder, he or his
brother, replied, Faith, am the ell
dest at present, hut if my brother lives
three years longer, We shall both be
OF an age"
n Bad Puymaster.--A gentleman
having lent guinea for two or three
days to . person whose promises he
had not much faith in, was very much
surprized to find, that he very pune
tually kept his word with him. The
same gentleman sometime after being
desifious of borrowing Il larger sum,
made application No, said The other
YOU have deceived me oDce, aud lam
resolved you shall not do it second
time.
4Cood O,,e.-A traveller having
pot up alta country tavern, where q
number Of neiahbofing farmers had
collected, aud hearing them tell sever
although stcSies about their cattle. sheep,
&c. &c. he begged leave to offer
story. A nsishbor OF his hafng a
sickly sheep, turned him out to pasture
with perfect indifference; brou9hth'm
in at the fall, fed him aitentiveiy fora
whiIe-and how much tal.ow do You
think the sheep had: "1'cn pounds"
ssys ono: ''iourtee,l" says another:
SEVENTY" says third till they all
became impatient to know the weight
of tailow in the extraordinary sheep,
hen one asked, How much tall0w
did he have:"" don't knew (replied
the stranger) but guess not much"