The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1823-07-08
MUSICAL WIVES.

| AiVhAt+
| This Is the age for accomplishments ; buI
N the education of our females, il may h.
doubted whether they BIZ not too openly
and exclusively invested with those braces
aud attractions which may best qualify
them tor the matrimonial marlSet--as e.il'.
tain shoulmisiresses advertise 10 gel MI
young ladies for the India department. y
Va music tins sceins more specially percep-
tihie. Iihnlus could not now exclam,
Alb minimum iaeiles aurem prebere pu-
ella, for modern damsel, instead of len
dug her own ear, Is more prone 10 eyelam
with Anthony, Friends, Romans, Coun-
trymen, lend me qo,tr ears" and sits her
self down 10 a barpsichord 10 play con
dmore-- for husband. Brilliant fingers
have superseded brilliant eyes execution
Is performed by octaves not ogles and
hearts are literally carried by II coup dc
man. Holding wax light instead of n
torch, Hymen takes his post beside hook
of canzonets~-Cupid bestridng the keys,
with one foot upon a Flat, the other upon
a Natural, takes Il Sharp for his arrow,
which he aims NJ the ear. not nj the heart,
of his victim, aud OF course the greatest
"'o'R IfiNo'bt ii' iidulfsl anu iilNAA open
mark. 1t is painful To enroll onescfia this
asinne brotherhood, yet eandor obliges me
to confess, that suffered myself to be
tamely caught by the aurieuar appendage,
and led up 10 the hymenal oiidr. My
wife sang sweetly, played disinely, had
brlliancy without pedantry, and many
other other things without many other
things at least every body said 50. re-
ceHed the congratulations Of my friends,
aud nasTiie happlest OF men Tor the full
period OLA honey moon.
Stfadella, as all the world knows, saved
his life by playing tune tn the braves who
were hised II assassnate him but we are
now become SO much more musicaL that !
verify believe that should incur the fate
which he avoided, were even To attempt
setting Ilpts 10 the passion. What q die
tlonary of quotations should draw down
upon my devoted head Music bath
cilasms To soothe savage breast"--and
" The man that hath not music in his soul,
Sc aud a thousand others would be-
spouted ont against me, while ! should in
vain contend that WAS deprecating the
abuse, not the use OF an art that | might
love any given pursuit without having q
rage for it and that however partial |
might be 10 sweet Voices or sweet wines, |
have no ambition 10 be sung to death, Or
smothcrcd IN but Of malmsey. Alas !
those who have ears Tor music have none
for reason. After the bnstlc Of visiting,
lntroductlons, singing, playing and adnira-
ton, naturally concluded that we should
subslde into little domestic quiet and
self possession, when might calmly pros
ecute my studies, and enjoy my own fire.
side but my wifc's notions Of enjoyment
were so far from harmonizing with MINE,
that found da ca pc had commenced,
aud | was condemned TO run through the
same round Of meodious misery. Since
then, have been nvain expecting finale I;
I" the cry is still they come y iiddlers,
singers, masters and amateurs, bcsicge my
house, aud there is no end 10 my wiie's
parties, or my "Reminiscences. ! lind |
have married musician who pcrpotually
reminds me Of DR.. Pangloss's distinction
between concert Il consOr. Accust0m
ed TO admiration, she cannot live without
it, and her home becomes insipd, unless IL
is crowded with listeners aud 0Dtterers,
and converted an into arena for display. !
have no voice IN my own house, because
my wife has 50 much, aud every body
keeps time in It 50 vigorously, that cannot
find any for my own occupations. From
morning to night am distracted with har-
niony--my head seems 10 be thorough
fare for crotchets, quayefs and semlquasers
IA common sewer, into which is disgor-
ged perpetual stream of noise under
every possible variety which the modula-
ton OF air can produce. Even IN my sleep,
have constant singing in my head the
nerves Of my brain, like an Kolian harp,
,lbrate Of themselves and il dream, il is
of the .jarring, scraping aud tuning of ten
thousand instruments.
Man has been defined, by psychologists,
rs Il .eatherless biped, butt have been some
times struck with the capreious contrast
between the human and the winged cub
ject 10 peacocks, pheasants, and all The
galllnaceous tribe, il is the male who Is
dressed out III gorgeous colours and fine
feathers, while the female is as plain and
madurned as qaakeress. Singing birds
are ali small the hiackbird being the largest;
there is no bcaLfed Ellington and il IS the
gentleman who tunes his pipe while the
domestic lady sits breeding over her eggs.
Mine broods over nothing bot The harp
schord, and my calow ncstllngs of do
nestle bliss are rpudus, sonatas agd cdzo-
nettas. How canl expect her TO be a goed
housekeeper, IN any sense Of the word =
That left hand so conyefsant IN thorough
bass, would you desecra1e il with a roll OF
Trademarks bills Those dexter fingers,
such yolaut snmm0ners Of sound, would
you condemn them to thimble and nee
die, Or require them 10 handle any keys but
| those Of the instrument Aud that voice
warhHg immortal verse and Tuscan air, y
would you have the heart 10 bid it scolh
her servants aud add up accounts +? None
but n Goth or n Yandal would dream oi
such drgrad;uions, aud yet am ashamed