Edwardsville spectator. [volume] (Edwardsville, Ill.) 1819-1826, 1822-11-30

at less than the costs and trouble. Their
wit is an island in vast sea Of three
months sail; you may steer round it
and by it, and never make II: or if you
think you descry i, in the offing, you may
tack for ii and hope to DRIFT TO its shore;
but when you really see it under your
bow, you may coast round it, and cast out
your grapple anchor 10 hold by it; but
you might as soon tie your nose or your
horse up with sunbeam, or get will
O the wisp TO light you, like well bred
Waterman. TO yonr lodgings, as make
ground there. The light OF their minds
need no, to be hidden under a bushel;
a one-pill box would be dome Of sam
pie space and verge enough" Tor it.
Like one "goed deed in naughty
world" it nigh; "shine far and vide
therein" and yet not gild its confines.
Their most delicate prim mouths are
like perEomer's shop, for they breathe
nothing but sgveets. miss A. has the
sweetest pug puppy from Paris that is
IN the world" And " Mrs B. a sweet
cat in her establishment" Their talk
only breathes honey, essence of Tyre,
bloom ct Ninon, violet washes, and
thousand essences that are advertised IN
the newspapers. They "die of a rose
in aromatic" anguish, and are recovered
by lavander-water, aud other " soft APP
piiances," fifty times an hour in their
"over-exquisile" mnods. would
sooner sit in the opera with five Jews in
the same box, or be in small room
with three Frenchmen, than talk with
one OF these.
The third are those of The objective
class. BE your opinions what they
may, however undeniahls, correct, set
tied or we'll digested, .hey wiil.ehew
them over and objec, to them. They
will end flaws in diamond wit of the
FIRST water, notes in the brightest rays Of
the m l.s., and beams in the eyes Of
Truth.
The fourth is the contradictory class.
lie, your opinions to-day be to the letter
what theirs were yesterday, and they
will instantly turn an opposition coach
against yours, upset you on the mud
bank Of their own opinions, and leave
you sprawling and bespattered, to get up
as you can. When you have run them
to stand on one point, and they fnd
you are liked on agreeing with them,
and they cannot object TO the ma ter of
your opinions, they have still a resource
eft in ohjec,ing TO your manner of Ut
tering them. You speak uBadyise4ly
azd they censure for mediocrlly. a bald
lplsinneas, and want Of splr, and imasi-
4 nation.
The fifth class consists Of takers in
admirations. | heard one of these the
other day. His conversation, if sucn it
might be called, was all exclamations,
like German drama; and was made
up of a due jargon Of God BLESSINGS
| Is-it-poss;bles Who'd-tase-,hought-
It's You-as'on!sh-mes &c.
4 The sixth are the in,errogative class.
Their talk is all questions. should
think their, tongues were shaped Ikea
note of Interrogation. l know one Of
this genius. You feel in conversation
with him as a caicchised charty-boy
does, when he is asked what his gsd-fa-
lber promised to do for him. Talk an
hour dead with one of this class, and you
viii only hear from him such nterro-
rogatory ai1irsDations as these following:
g And so Jones is we'll? And Johnson's
married, sc.
/ The seventh and most insuherable
class are the exclusive takers. One Of
these will undertake to talk for all the
company present. If you iinpatientIy
throw in but one single word, it is like
striking a spark into barrel Of gunpow-
der--a fresh explosion of words spreads
a hubbub and confusion all around it,
Though he tells you every thing you al
ready know, you cannot tell him any
thing he does not know. II you set out
with an anecdote, he snatchcs it out Of
your mouth, as covetous dog would a
desired bone from his pet boon compa-
Mon and dearest puppy friend, and tells
i for you. You obje. that yours was a
i different version of the same story, aid
gently persist in telling ityour own way:
he knows the other version : well as you
do, and re-relates it for you, but thinks
bis own the best. If you persist, alter
all, 10 telling it your own way, he will
insinua,e tomorrow that you are in your
anecdotage, and declare that you are the
worst teller Of stories since the days Of
Goldsmith. You could not have done
worse thing than start an anecdote in his
4 hearing, for that one is sure OF reminding
him of hundred others and the last
one Of that first century ofgood things is
50 nearly related to the FIRST of the second
century, that be cannot choose but relate