The Alexandria herald. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1811-1826, 1822-03-13

"A passport signed by Plutus.
Thy smiles, that blessed the faithful heart,
They seek at Beauty's auction mart,
And win-if none bid higher;
And when the brilliant lot is sold,
Vain Folly eyes the shining gold,
And little needs the buyer.
No more thy vassals deck thy shrine
With offerings from the tuneiul Nine,
Thy taste is coy'd with honey;
More solid gifts thy favor prove,
And thou deniest thy smile to love,
Tilliove is joined with money.
Then how can |, lowly bard,
Attempt to prove NV fond regard,
Say tyrant god, how show il I?
Thou scorn'st the gift of former hours,
The wreath of wild Parnassian flowers,
Twined by an humble poet.
Come, fired with dreams of glittering pelf,
I'll strive TO qualify myself,
Wealth for thy smiles to barter,
To fortunes favor'd dome will steal,
And lure the goddess from her wheel,
Led on by Bish and Garter!
will not boast of chsngeless truth,
Nor plead the claims OF blooming youth,
Chose once allowed essentials y
No-modern taste shall guide my muse,
Bank notes shall be my billets. doux,
And guineas my credentials!
Love shall not guide my tender scrolls,
For love to wise enlightened souls
Is but an empty vapour;
And none can fail his wit to praise,
Who boasts the name Of Henry Hase
Emblazon'd on his paper.
Some plant maid, who feels no shocks,
Save at the rise and fall of stocks,
Shall crown a chase so melted;
And chain d in golden links of love,
Say, who can fear the heart should rove.
When stamp'd, and sea'd, and settled!
And should still stern grief endure,
With potent wealth III buy a cure,
Nor see much cause to doubt one
For IT the foolish heart gives pain,
Gold surely might patent gain
10 learn to do without one Nj.
The following anecdote, current at Al
nany, is not without its moral just be
lore the debate on locating the North
River Bank, member accOsted J-b
B----T in the house, and gave him one
of his own bills, with lis this good money,
Sir !? sVery good said J-b, sand IN
give you an Albany bill tor i,,-and did
it on the spot. The member pocketed
his money, went back 10 Ms seat and vo-
led against J -. nv Y. An,ercan
The mode of courtship in some parts
of Fife is curious, When the young
man hath the felicity to be invited of the
Same party with the maiden that hath
won his affections, then doth he endea-
vor to sit opposite to her at the table,
where he givoth himself not up to those
unseem!y oglings and gazings which be
practiscd iB other parts, to the offence of
aged virgins and other persons Of much
discretion but putting forth his foot, he
presseih and trcaJeth withal upon the
feet and toes Of the maiden; whereupon
If she do not roar forth, it is sign tina,
his addresses are we'll received, and the
two come in due course before the minis
ter This form Of attack is known by
the name of Footie, and the degree OF
pressure doth denote and measure the
warmth of the passion. Such young
men as be bashful do hence make good
speed--these do take with them more |
forward friend, who shall, vicariously ana |
IN their stead, give light pressure and
treadiDg ami person who doth thus |
melt the ice Of Coyness between the par
ties is, in these parts, called Lightfoot, !
from the lightness of his pressure.
Scotch ha, |
At public dinner in New York, of |
the general committee Of the Republican |
Young Men, in honor of the new consti- |
tuition, the following volunteer toast was |
given, and received with applause -
The Gyeaf Mail Contractors Ut Hiash- |
7ngton-May he have vicious horses, bad |
stages and worse drivers in his journeys |
through life, until he learns the differ |
ence between political friends and. politl- |
Cal enemies -
the following sentiment was given BY
81 aged lady at a party in Boston, on
Wa hington's birthday
GEN WA.BINeToN-May a monu.
ment Of gratituds be erected in every fe-
SDsle heart, as some atonemeDt for the CT
ror OF the other sex ~ neglectbg TO eretl
. pubic one in honor of deprs,ed worth.