The Virginian. [volume] (Lynchburg [Va.]) 1822-1829, 1822-10-08
Cansoiaiion for IffqLonds and Oipes.

iBNdf Nblt u green oles u ontfntIlf fhftH
for nothing but asparagus fried IN otl
Sir Isaac Newton forgot his dinner, aud
MoIiere consulted mn old gentlcwoman.
lie Is a Sioren, --Beticr still--hc Is no
worse than eight or ten learned men now
living. and half hundred dead. II is
sign he does not admire himself too much,
aud comfortable security thnt nobody
else will.
lie is niicdgs abroai,---lle will come
home when he is tired, Birds return TO
their nests, bull seldom to their cages.
lie torres ie.--Good People IN
hurry are like hailetones, which heap about
with great noise, and then settle very qui-
city. Bustlc is healthy exercise in all
climates; oven savages have their game,
called - worree." Besides, fdgetting
person IL only nm idle one in fever. lie
has LOST half an hour IN the morning, and
runs after it the whole day.
Tie iercs money--That is n great com
fort. fIints yield oil sometimes, and the
greatest miscrs may be talked out of it.
Old Elves used To say, young Pitl could
have persuaded him 10 empty his purse al
any time ;--besides, the money itstlf Is
good and miser is no more 10 be oansi-
deled than the bag which holds il, One
may find the opening II one can.
lie forCS pine. - Another comfort; for
then the money will moi be kept very safe
" aud il causes nlcneguuins of intellect
which make The wife regent Besides, il
hc will reduce himself to brute, he can
have no reasonable objection IN being bea-
ten. 4 noted bibber returning non comp
one daN, found his wife s cloak, rolled HIM
self in H. and fell asleep. Her father came
III, aud seeing her thus disgraccd r,mom-
bcrcd the Russian law which inilicis the
bdioEs ON ladies' who drink before nine o.
clock Thinking he had mol ccded his
right IL cha5tise, AS Russian fathers do, he
brought two sticks and applied them with
great perseverance aud effect. So the lady
told the story, but her husband never did,
not being quite sure who gave him tfle ba-
tors.
! lie rs passionate, No lad thing. Such
people, says the Marquis ofllalilax, always
make amends nj the foot of the account.
BE not witty, make no replies, and good
| humour will follow. The dew is swertcat
and most plentiful In hot climates, NJ. De
Lac always carried lump of sugar in his
pocket To hold in his mouth when be or his
companions grew angry, There are places
where qualteisome people arc put into
cold baths till they cease talking, but we
have not water enough in England. A
wife reasoning with an inpatient husband
IS as silly as the Byzantine in the fable argu-
my with Il waterfall, when ii might have
looked quietly ON and sparklod after the
sprinklng,
lie ~ proud.-NTakc conlforl--so are
| all hasty men. Whoever is passionate is
! 80 partial to himself that he will mol hear
contradiction, But if those who live with
him are patient, his weakness viii be thelr
stronghold, for Inc viii let nobody else mo-
/ lest them.
He IS chh1ish. Sill there is comfort.
II he has good sense, il will he 80 oftcu
walked by other peoples iollies, that, like n
! good house-dog, il must bark little aud
honest Euglshmen, like their fl,ouuite
. hounds, have good de of suriness about
them. lint, either with over much rude
ness or excessive ciyiity, nothing Is 80
uscial IA quiet Indifference. A llatterer il
sooner slammed aud rllllan famed by this
than by grand airs. Besides, what seems
| p"erishnrfs may be sickness. Poets pre-
tend, Proneiheus was sentenced 10 endure
| the cravings Of a yuture, bal il WAS, pro-
| baby, fashionable liver complaint, or a
stitch in the side. However, let il chlrlish
temper alone nothing good can be forced
from it, The wine squeezed rom grape.
stones and husks is always sour,
lie 10 endiHcrem--This is almost an IN
consolidate matter; but if YOU think aver
son "A better fault, take particular friend
! into your house. Lei her be very beauti-
! lul, poor, aud fashionable or very ugly
witty, aud eloquent. The first will tax.
care that he shall know all your faults, and
the other that his shall never pass linnoti
ced by You. There will be tclegraphs on
beth sides, aud produce a deep, broad, oper
hatred, as much preferable 10 indifference
rs a thick ice is TO "A little hoar frost. |
this is not enough, hire a companion. Il
old times, all families kept tame knaye
and people in India still think tame snak'
lucky in their houses. Last OF all, take
prying cousin ar an instructive aunt thel
you will have a third person to hate, ant
sufficient business for you both 10 remove
her again.
she as q Shrem,-Vcry cousoling :--
shrew IS always good manager and a III
tie eater. Keep nlschiesous dog and
stupid footboy, and her anger will ncye
trouble YOU Her tongue is the safet,
valve of the steam engine.
| She IS too busy Better still. Busy PEG
pie are apt to be short sighted, which pre-
serves peace in families. Bees see only al
inch before their noses.
/. She tails loo Wuch.-'Tis a better faul
than sulkincss and never ends SO III. A
honest gentleman may stop his ears, bu
he cannot see through fog. Archbishop
Cranmcr proposed to make suIlcn tenn
lper claim for divorce, because he tho't
silent woman thing not fit to enter hea
ven. For says he, 1--WE are never toll