Edwardsville spectator. [volume] (Edwardsville, Ill.) 1819-1826, 1822-03-19
FOR THE SPECTATOR.

FOR THE SPECTATOR.
One of the most ridiculous species OF
vanity, is that which we see weekly ma
infested by the demisimi writings in our
country newspapers. AS all fame is
comparative, the petty scribbler finds no
difficulty in acquiring some reputation
where nothing tolerable is put into COM
petition. An itch for scribbling is, there
fore, one of the most common and inve-
terate disorders to which the citizens OF
our new settlements are liable. They see
that a fictitious eclat is attached to pro-
auctions, whose principal merit IS that
they are the best of the bad; or whose
only claim to attention is that they relate
to subjects locally interesting. The mind
of the emigrant consequently soon be-
comes fitted for high grade OF literary
mania he imagines the eyes OF an ad-
miring world fixed On the columns In
which his communications are to appear ;
and, in his frenzy, pen, ink, and paper
speedily suffer to the great benefit OF the
post Office, but, correspondingly, to the
great annoyance Of the printer. Though
much trash is in his office consigned to
the flames, accompanied by a sigh OF re-
greet for the expense Of postage, yet the
printer (s' good easy man'') cannot al
ways act so cruelty as to dispel the OK
hilarating delusions of his correspon-
dents especially if he happen to be
sparingly supplied with interesting mat
ter for publication.
The pieces are published. The writer's
run to the post ofice--seize borrowed
newspaper with tremulous anxlety--ahd
pass their eyes with joyful avidity over
the favored column where their paintings
appear in an exalted garb; and, for a
moment, their exu!tation knows no
-boueds. The production is again and
again perused, in order to convince
themselves that it is no dreain--that the
offspring Of their brains has really re-
ceiyed the patronage of the printer. Eve
ry thing else in the newspapers seems
insipid, and scarcely worth glance OF
attention. They look round among their
fellow readers to dcscry the eye OF OBJ
scryation and the smile OF appreciation
directed to this conclusive evidence OF
their genius. They listen with breath
less impotence to echo the bursts OF ap-
plause, which they are sure its business,
elegance, or. eloquence demands; and
finally, if the eye and ear are disappoint-
ed of their expected qualification, they
ask their neighbors if they have not seen
any interesting remarks on .-- lately
published in the Spectator or Intelligent
Ger. Attention thus excited, their next
business is to whisper 'soAo the goriters
are 10 some friend, whose duty it is to
tell his friends, and they theirs, that
Messrs. W. X. Y. and 4. were the per-
sons that wrote over the signatures of
Plato, Newton, Rush, and nittcnhouse,
whose characters they wish to ape, bat
generally with the same success that at
tended the monkey shaving the cat. The
telligence soon circulates among the
illitera,e Of The country, as would the an
nunciaiion OF ga learned pig to show )"
and the loudcst acclamations of admira-
ton at the smart, Keen fellow, who could
write for the papers, are generally sure
to proceed from those whose education
has been too limited to enable them to
read or Judge for themselves. The
writer's are now in the heyday of their
glory. Their strides are measured with
as much dignity, and their smiles as
sumo the air Of as much important self
comp!acency as could possibly resul.
from imagining that every person who
secs them, nay, even the very sun that
shines on them, is gazing with reveren-
tial respect for the Talents they have dis
played. saw one OF these characters a
Short time after his first essay, walking
down hillside. His back was more
bowed, his strutmore elastic than usual.
He seemed to tread ON air; his eyes
were sparkling with conscious claims to
admiration his head was s,ihy erected.
and his features had all the aercencss OF
expression charaCterizing gander. !
could not for few moments divine the
cause of this great transformation; but
OH n-sr approach, ! could read the
following information with tolerablc dis
tinctness in his countenance : 7" lam the
author OF -- which appeared in the
last newspaper; my name IS Jeremy
Snifiiekins--d-m my eyes il it isn't"
But if man wish 10 render himself
still more ridiculous than the foregoing
samples would furnish, lc, him spend a
long winter evening in putting together
sonic twenty or thirty lnes-which, how
ever, after all tire pains taken, the printer
would be ashamed to place before his
readers in their originaldress, and should,
therefore, take the understandable, liberty
of correcting a few gramma.ica! errors.
or to- round a period---tha ,,r,tor -.