Alexandria gazette & advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1822-1824, 1822-07-04

"Give me the papers, you snail,' said
my uncle Toby, taking out his'shagreen
case ofspectacles, and wiping the glas-
seq" let me see what has become Of
| nv Young friend M'DDfiie." Dead"
said Trim. "Y on lie.'' said my uncle
Toby, glancing his eye quickly over the
paper bullet in the short ribs only;
| pooh--nothing at all-get well in a
week, and fight somebody else before
the next Presidential election" Trim
looked hard at my uncle Toby, and took
quid of tobacco from blue paper
"what did they fight for, your honor"
q Pshaw," said my uncle Toby, "you
blockhead, no one enquiries about the
cause" swell them" said Trim, who
is in the right or in the wrong?" "Who
cares said my uncle Toby; eve only
ask who is killed and Trim, though |
hate duelling as cowardly, sneaking,
drawing room kind of fashion, yet tits
rather. hard, after making such fuss
and parade in the papers about this fight
that only one ofthe parties got winged
"Ah, but your honour" said Trim,
drawing himself up and taking out a
ragged ruffle of his shirt, and display
ing it to the best advantage, "consider
how polite they behaved towards each
other. one bowed most genteely; the
other touched his hat most gracefully;
the parties advanced most cordially;
M'Duffie gave Col. Cummings pinch
of snuff; and the Colonel gave M'Duffie
in return. piece of sweet pig tail; and
after sundry elegant attitudes and grace.
full evolutions MIR. M'Duffie finds the ball
ofhis antagonist in his waistcoatpocket,
which quickly escapes thro' the thorax.
Mac falls; Cummings runs up to him
most affectionately, and offers his con-
dolence in the kindest manner; the
surgeons dig out the ball from under
the spine; M'Dufie writes letter that
he is doing we'll; segars are smoked,
and home all the parties 60 to break
fast-how genteel and elegant.'-"You
are fool, Trim, quoth my Uncle Toby.
stamping his crutch on the ground:
show dare you, poor corporal, ridi-
Guile polite geDtlemaDly custom Is
it not brave sirrah, to stand edgeways,
and make yourself as thin as rattan,
and receive the fire ofyour antagonists
s'No,7 said TRIM fercely, ''let them do
as we have done. your honor: march up
to brass howitzer and a long eighteen
FOUNDER, pouring out the grape and
canister; no bowling, Sinking, snu fling,
or lodging there-that's what cell
true courage"
"Well, WE'LL" quoth mvSUncle Toby,
'eThis settles the Presidential election,
&c. does it not? This is what we call
prize fighting, it's your true Mendoza
style. write against your candidate,
you write against mine. write hard,
you write harder. l send you a chal-
lenge, you shoot me. Trim, Trim. if
this is not good electioneering, what
really is?
Trim squinted at my Uncle Toby,
from corner of both eyes, and after a
long drawn sigh, gathered up the pa
pers and left. the room
"He is worthy fellow, quoth my
Uncle Toby. but he has wild notions of
honor: well he is only corporal
******I should like 60 know what
they fought for? ****"*no matter, It's
a private affair of their own, ***s** a
bullet in the short ribs, troublesome in
hot weather, - who is to be the
next President? ******, tits worth fight
ing for