Alexandria gazette & advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [D.C.]) 1822-1824, 1822-12-28

From tss Eoropean .hagGzlSs.
INFALLtBLE CURES FOR THE GOVT
With respect to the govt, that genteel
complaint, wa have few words to say -
1t certainly is a happy thing, in this en-
lighlened age, that you DO sooner allow
thatYOu have some COMPLAINT, than srall
thousand volunteer physicians start up, all
mentioning things which are certain cures,
this, even ia common complaints. But ia
the govt. that difficult SUBJECT, there are It
appears a variety oil remedies, though
perhaps not supplied by lbe faculty. A
relations of the editor happens, very I'M
luckily for bin, to have been afflicted with
this disease tor some years, and tie fol-
lowing gratuitous prescriptions for the
cure nave been generously but literally a.
warded, 10 some such way as The follow
ing:
tHow's the gout?' Very bad!'
'Nha, do you ,ake?' Reynolds Spe-
ci6c.'
'Ihat's bad thing; it has killed sever
al people OF my acquaintance: you should
leave it off, otherwise you will soon die
Did you ever take the Tau Mediclnale?'
>'That has killed thousands
Wilson's tincture as the Eau Medici-
nale.'
Wilson'S tincture has killed one Of my
brothers; do not lake that stuff
'You should take the carbonated soda.
you should take sulphur, msgnesia,
and GIN
There is nothing so good as Reynolds
Specific
You should take more care yourself
tYou should always keep your body O.
PEN
'You should refrain from all kinds of
meat
You should refrain from vinegar, mus
tard. pepper, malt liquor, wine s. spirits.
You should live well. eat plenty OF good
things, and not sta've the govt
You should live only Oh milk diet
You should live on vegetables and ca,
no meat.
Keep yourself warm With hannels.'
'You should not wrap up tor the govt.
Drink plenty of good strong rum and
water,
Drink plenty of good brandy
you should drink plenty OF Madeirs.'
'You should take buck be an tea
EYou Should 60 TO Dr. Hogan,
i put cabbage leaves to the part afec-
ted
Ny wife spreads treacle on brown pa
per, and lays that on her parts
Apply teaches, and then poultice.
'Never apply teaches nor a poultice.'
always let the govt have It's own course
'You should use 6esb brush.
you should never touch the parts af-
fected
'You should not sleep when the pain is
very severe
You must not take too much exercise
when you are confined TO your bed
You SHOULD bandage up Jour legs with
a great many yards OF Calico, to keep
your parts from swelling.
you should on no account keep the
govt bound or confined.
You should wear flannel dress next
your skin
You should not make too free with
6anDeis, because you cannot with safety
leave them off,
You should take the warm bath.
You should never take the warm bath;
unless you wish TO bring on the govt
you should always wear magnet IN
your walslcoat pocket.
You should wear several yards of list
round your body
You should bathe your feet in salt, or
sslt-petre water, every day
'Y0n should often lose blood
Bleeding is death iCr toe disease
You should steam the part over pan
OF bot water
Madeira and gOoseberry wine will bring
on the disease
Take plenty Of sulphur in your tea in
the morning
Be sure always TO keep your feet dry. >
'Use Perkins tractors
YOU SHOULD take the vine of Colchicum I,
You should drink plenty of gin, that
viii carry il off by urine
The root OF the meadow saffron, stesp-