The Alexandria herald. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1811-1826, 1822-11-01

Is
HUMOR.
COMPARISON NOT ODlOUS.
AT The house of Madame Ia Duchesse
de Maine, the company were one day a
Inuslng themselves by comparing and
finding ingenious distinctions between one
object and another. GWhat difference, :"
said the Duches to the Cardinal de Pc :.
Egnac, dis there between me and a
watch !" "Madame," replied the Cardi-
nal, ga watch marks he hours, and you
make us :orget them"
At the late Lewes Assizes, a landlord
brought some wine to gentleman din.
ing private room, which he did not an
prove, and ne requested it might be chang
ed. The landlord expressed bis SUNRISE
at this as he said it was greedy admired
by the gentlemen Of the bar, who were
drinking it above stairs. save !" replied
the other very cooily, 'sthey are no,
Judges"
"POINT.NG,"
A sporting schoolmaster, a few DAYS
since, bought a dog OF the POINTER breed !:
but the animal, on trial, not possessing
the necessary qualifications, was returned
by the purchaser, accompanied by a note.
qusinlly stating that the s'dog knew no.
thing OF punctuation 90
a parish clerk in The neiehbcurhood
OF chichester, upon first taking possess
Sion OF his desk, on reading the Psalms.
and coming to the following passage
'"he unrighteous shall be compared un.
10 the beasts that PERISH" bawled out
1.-The unrighteous shall be compared un-
% tie best offhe harish."
Sir Christopher Pegge, Professor at
oxford, was sometimes Jest at College,
because OF his love OF rank. 1t was as.
serted that he was ONCE taken i'll in conse.
quence OF the Mayor, who was tailor.
having been made Knight on present.
ing loyal address. Some one asked
what Is the matter Sir Christ. Peppe9 A
wit replied ooh, sir, he is quite sick of
the night mare"
a countryman who had brought load
OF potatoes into town, was disposed to
Joke an freshman who was standing by his
'raEi.--"Pat," says he, "what do you call
these ERE :" Pointing 10 his load. j" CaN,"
exclaimed the lrshman, "we don't call
them III our country,we have to dir EN-"
A country attorney happened to he a,
a tavern with an honest peasant, and was
facetious at the countryman's expense.
they nevertheless agreed to try, for bot
Tie oil wine, who could make the best
rhyme. The lawyer inquired the pea
SAINTS occupation, who eheerFulIy inform
Cd him he was a tailor, upon which the
lawyer wrote these lines -
The world, tho large is but span
fet II takes nine taiors TO make man.
The tailor, in his turn, inquired the
lawyers occupation, and being informed
81 thought" said he, "you we're of the
law by the glIbness Of your tongue, but
since you have rhymed about the world,
so will too" He then wrote:-
The WORLD is wide and full Of evil,
For half lawyer makes whole DEVIL
The celebrated DR.. South, one of the
chaplains Of Charles ". preaching on
certain day Before court, which was com,
posed OF the most prohigate and dissipa-
ted men IN The nation, perceived in the
middle Of his discourse. that sleep had
gradually taken possession OF his hearers
The doctor Immediately stopped short.
and changing his tone Of voice. called
out to Lord Lauderdalc three times.
Ills Iordship standing, ANY lord" saith
South, with great composure, 81 am sor-
ry to interrupt your repose, but | must
beg ofyou that you will not snore quite
. loud; lest Jon awaken his majesty"