American watchman and Delaware advertiser. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1822-1828, 1822-07-09
CLERICAL ANECDOTES.
From the Edinburgh Magazine.


hibtng richness and variety OF beauty unequallet
in the country round him. One Saturday evening
wandering lunatic well known in that quarter, so
ciled the minister for lodgings in his barn but tn,
pastor refused and unmoyed by his entreates stern
ly ordered him away. The poor wretch found shell
ter in the neighborhood, and arose on Sunday morn
ing with the recollection of the minister's unkind-
ness ranking in his bosom, which brooded over
schemes of revenge. The maniac had " method in
his Madness" and sufficient sense or memory to
know the reverend gentleman's attachment 10 flow.
Watching near by till all the family had gone
to the kirk, he entered the garden. A large bed oil
tulips were in full blow, and Flora had INDUCED her
freaks in nGnity Of shades and colors the
beauty and variety of which, it the parsons de.
light to contemplate The lunatic plucked the whole,
leaving not wreck behind" and with great pains
decorated every button hole Of his coat, and also
garnished round his head, with The beauteous plum
der. In this costume he walked into the kirk, and
stood conspicuous before the clergyman, who was
at the moment engaged in prayers; he had just ut
tered the aposrophs, " Oh Lord" when glancing
his eye on the mailman, he exclaimed " my tulips"
A worthy clergyman Of my acquaintance was as
sisting his servant in taking home the oxen from
his glebe. John was loading the CART the minister
throwing up the sheaves with pitchfork and the
shock had all been put into the cart except one shea
which was beneath the cart wheel The minister
pulled and tugged till breathess, in fruitless efforts
to withdraw this sheai. Fairly balled, he called out
John, you must come down from the cart and as
sist me cannot get this sheaf from below the
wheelM--" 0 sir" replied John s. there is no occa
sion for you or taking that trouble Just drive for
ward the horse. and the wheel will soon be of the
sheaf.'-" That is indeed an easier way, John bui
1 would not have thought Of it, said the minister
Many instances have been recorded of clerc,
men making choice Of texts on particular occasions
which, susceptible OF double meaning. have pro
duced strange differences and ludicrous remarks =
The following circumstance, which came within
nv own observation not many years ago, conside |
wo"thy OF recor,l it may serve as beacon |
Gle gymen, 70 avoid subjects admitting Of na.a !
flrohos applications
A pions and jealous preacher, with whom was |
intimately acquainted. had seen many years pass
over his head without ending pat on kind to bless
him with kirk his situation being that of assist
ant minister in charge where his income was yerv |
scanty, and great part OF it dependent upon ht |
caprice OF his hearers In this Office he continues
many years; when at last, by the friendship of a |
nobieman' he received presentation to living a,
the loot of the Grampians 1t was publicly an
nounced when he was to preach his farewell-ser-
mon the kirk was crowded; was an auditor and
must acknowledge, that when he read out the IL st
psalm, beginning,
to the lille will lift mine eyes,
From whence doth come mine aid
! could net avoid noticing the double eutendre oil
which these were susceptible, when applied to him
who had Just uttered them; and looking up 7 obi
served smile on all sides of me. afterwards beardl
more than one Of his auditors affirm, that the psalm
had been chosen for the express purpose OF allu-
ding to the prosperous change in his situation.
MS am convinced was net the cases. the preacher
was, and still IS, man OF too much unaffected pietv
TO apply the language Of Inspiration in this man
ner; and most thoroughly believe. il was one of
those strange condolences which sometimes han
pen; and that could he have anticipated the inter
probation which forced itself upon his best friends
the hlunder would have been avoided.
The late Reverend J. Murray, of Newcastle
author Of Sermons to Doctors of Divinity, &c usedl
to relate the following anecdote of an old woman.
member OF his congregation. She had been in theI
practice OF coming to him very often, under the h
Pretence OF wishing to hold religious conversation, IL
or OF seeking spiritual advice; but rather in bie "a
opinion for the purpose of having the unction oFa
battery applied to her spiritual pride One dav, she r
waited upon him with graYer face and more ST.
Tlous department than usual, and after much cir p
cumlocuton, sald that she in great distress of
mind. What IS the matter Janet 2 said her pastor p
oh, Sir! cannot be satisfied with myself! IIi
N barren tree-a dead branch, only fl TO be hewn u
dawn. She then went on 10 enumerate. ar oraot Il
length, the various duties Of faith & practice wbcb
like the young man in the gospel she had endeavonr
ed to perform from her youth up; and concudedh v
saying-'but still fear there is something wrong. a
and that am far from the Kingdom Of heaven -
with SO much orthodox fath adorned BY such 10
uniform purity Of practice, what makes Won think p
500 replied MIR. M.-'Oh, Sir! am afraid thar 7 Il
am only hypocrten said she-'Indeed. lane, r
that is my fear foo; for have thought YOU that o
these seven years. said the minister Janet d.nar Fl
ted IN great wrath. and returned to seek either
advice consolation. ii
have heard the Reverend John A relate n
the two following anecdotes. He died few years "
ago, having been incumbent ofthe populous parish ?
c. ii