Thomas's Massachusetts spy, or, Worcester gazette. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1811-1821, 1821-03-07


They remember the dire doings of nc.
A WISH.
l.
WISH (by way Of ornament ors
We had the knack which Scottish bards pos
ssess,
To hire some clever scavans whom they know
To varnish verse before it goes to press.
They call them criticks, alias reviewers
A downright honest, scientifck pack,
Who kennel 'mong old Edinburgh sewers,
And prowl abroad by night to make attack
Who vainly boast they give to science law,
And hold the literary world in awe.
IL.
These northern yelpeS, with their learning
frantick,
Make sorry work with rhymes this side tn At
lantick;
They rend in tatters harmless songs to Cupid,
And like Button of visionary France,
Contend our dogs don't bark, they are so stupid,
Our girls so clumsy, that they cannot dance.
How laudable, to love their race so wells
These snarlers do not mangle one another,
But wag their tails to all, save Peter Bells
And treat each Ginning Scotchman as broth
er.
iii.
wish we Yankees, like the Highland Scots,
Mid tsbirks and braes,n and consecrated spots
Call'd glens, where poets might invoke the
muse---
wish we had score Of bonny lasses,
ga have the bonny lasses wear their shoes)
To teach our awkward girls some " westlin
dashes p
To make an oaten cake, barley rig,
And dance with ease the highland fling and jig.
We want kirk, and priests to check the
sneerers,
And preach down luxury to their ragged hear
eIs.
Some haunted castle ruinous and old,
Among. the western hills they have plenty (;
Some boorish landlord who his tales has told
To furnish stuff for novels more than twenty
Bout Robin Hood, Rob Roy, and Lady Ma
TiOn,
And gangs Of robbers who infest their noun
tains,
Where they their cursed Vaccinations carry on,
Steal sheep, pollute their maids, and poison
fountains
A few spacious, highland shepherd dogs,
To hunt bewilder'd aocks in fens and boys.
v.
Alas we have no ruin'1 monastery
For witless, love-sick lasses to get lost in!
Nor have we tender-hearted SWANS, who tarry
All hight round fallen piles, because they're
cross'd in
Love for pretty maids, who are SO modest,
They lose themselves on purpose to be found
D. AL hate irhs Ic
est,
And queerest caper on romantick ground.
We have no border uurs nor border rarGges-
What then? By way of set-cfs we have sara
ges.t -
Had we such rich materials for novels,
And when our works were fnish'd, such re-
viewers
To puff our worlxs-we'd lay aside our shovels,
Transform our cobblers, journeymen and heW-
eTs,
And make them over into story writers
OF feats ofold Scotch Barors and their fighters
A proper civil, well-bred band of robbers,
Whose grand achievements, for the romance
jobbers,
Have furnished fragments, (say two hundred
bales)
Enough to make wagon-load Of tales!
VII.
Then we could tune our harps on g Moray
hills,'-
Alas we've no such hills, nor tuneful harpers
As Ramsay, Scott and Burns. --No ripping ribs
To wake the muse.--We are horde Of sharp
~ ersY
Pedlars, pick-pockets, these North-Brtons says
Who have no skill to write roundelay.
And then our sayages are quite too frantick
To lgure in a tale they're not romantick
As Scottish chieftains were in days Of yore,
Five hundred years ago, I'll say, or more.
VIII.
But then, with such materials for writing,
What could we do without their highland lingo
Or glossary? Just nothing worth inditing.
As well might native blacks from San Domingo
Attempt to initiate modern dandy,
As we TO catch the spirit, FIRE and fun,
Which through their verses, tales and novels
run.
Attir'd in barb'rous words; which are so ham
.dy,
And Jingle into rhymes with such facility
Scots write as well without as with ability
His 5eIieced that Woodsworth, the author
Of the screfched tale of Peter Bell, is the only
Scotch poet l0ho hue snsarted under the lash o.
the Edinburgh TeUievers.
Heretofore IN close alliance Nth these learn.
ed NORTH Brifo,s and, no doubt NTH high
lind education. then mould make very clever DO.