Winchester gazette. [volume] (Winchester, Va.) 18??-1826, 1821-11-03

neuer was'tbe' time, having FIRST found
means to i6treduee himself az a sn;tor,
was incessant in his eudeAvours 10 car
ry his cause. fiis tongue was eternalty
runniuS in praise of her super .superla-
lative, never-to.be. described charms,
aud in hyperboiical accounts Of tho
flames, darts, and daggers. ny which
his lungss liver, and midrisf, were bur.
I ned up, transixed, and gnawa away
tie who, 10 writing d song 10 HE
sweetheart, described his heart TO be
without one drops Of gravy, like an o.
ver-doue mutton.ehop was a fool at q
simile, when compared to our hero
Oas day as he was ranting, kneel.
ing, aud beseechius his goddess 20 send
han ON an errand TO pluck the diamond
from the aose Of the Great Mosui, and
to present it TO her diviuityship, or aaf.
fer him to stop and steal the en- press
Of China's enchanted slipper. OF the
queen Of Sheba's cockato0, as . small
testimony Of what he would undertake,
to prove his love, she, after little
hesitation addressed him thus:
| The protestations which you daily
make. captain, as we'll as what you
Say at present, convince me that there
il nothing you would not do 10 obIige
me i, therefore, do not fnd muci,
difficulty in telling yon, that | an will
hing to be yours, ii you will perform
one thing which shall reqaest OF
you"
Tell me, immaculate angel" cri-
ed our son Of gunpowder,. " tell me
| what it is! Though, before you speak,
be certain il is already done. Is it to
lind the seal of Solomon /? to catch
the Ph@nixf or draw your chariot to
ehureh with unicorns? What is the
| impossible act that will not under.
take2"
mo, captain," replied the fair one,
al shall enjoin nothing impos.ibie.-
The thing desire, you can do with
the utmost ease; it will n0l cost you
five minutes trouble; aud yet, were 1t
not fur your so positive assurances.
from what | have observed, should
d 'uot vout eompiinnce.'
| All, madame returned he, +" wrong
not your slave thus: deem 1t not Im.
| possible, that he who eats happiae-s,
and drinks immortal life, from the
light OF your eyes, can ever demur the
thousandth part of u somi,secOnd to
execute ynnr omnipotent behes,s -
Speak ! say! what, empress OF MY
parehed suui, what most psrtorms''
Nay, for that matter; 4, is t. mere
trifc! Only to cut Oft your whiskers
| captain, that's ALL"
=" Mad am! Be 80 kind, reader, as
To imagine the captains utter astOnisb-
ment.) My wh.,kersl Cut of my whis-
kers! Pardon me, madam! Any thing
else; any thing tnat mind can, or can
not immaytne, or tongue describe
Bid me fetch you Prester Johns beard,
hair at tine, aud IT'S done. Bot,
fsr my whisSers! you must grant me IA
saliva there!''
g. And why 30, good captain. Sure
ly. any gentleman, who he'd but the
tythe Of the passion you express, woald
uo' stand on such t.,fle:
Is A lI'f'e, madam! Nay wh;skers a
trifle! No, madam, no! My nhi.keys
are no trifle. Had bat u s,Igie resi.
"Ohs VIZ sCbaoNS W utoActS u ithc mt, i
myself would be the Grand Turk of
Constantinople. My wiiskers, mad
am, are the last thing should have
supposed you would have wished me
| to sacrifice. There Is NOT a woman
! married, or single, maid, vile, or w,d.
o". that does not admire my whisk-
ets!''
" May be So, sir; but. if you marr7
me, you must cut them off,
"Aud is there no other wayl Must
l never hope to be happy with you,
unless part with my whiskerss"
Never 10
I" Why, then, madam! farewell. !
would not part with single hair of
my whiskers, if Catharine, the Carl
IA, empress of ali the Russias, would
make me king Of the CaImucs; and so
good morning toyou!"
Had all young ladies, in like cir.
cuwstanees, equal penetration, they
nigh; generally riu themselves, with
equal ease, Of the interested and IN.
prme'p'ed eoxcombs by whom they
are pestered; they all have their wbiss
kers; they seek for fortunes, to be able
to cultivate, not cut them of.