Edwardsville spectator. [volume] (Edwardsville, Ill.) 1819-1826, 1820-02-29

the want of some female, whose daily
presence might refine their manners,
control their appetites, give grace to
their actions, and polish 10 their con-
verse. The old wine, together with pipes
and segars, made their appearances and
as the bottle went briskiy round, and
their old clay moistened, revived, and
invisorated, each man had something to
say in praise of bachelors life. Mar
riage, says an old fellow, who owned
twenty brick houses in the city-pshaw
what man would surrender his freedom
give up the Joy of celibacy--subiect
himself to the eternal clatter of wo-
mans tongue, and host of old Tables,
in the shape of aunts-be stunned to
death with squalling brats-harassed
with illness, ACCOMPLISHMENTS, doctors
bills, and christenngs Who would relin-
quish the happiness Of being free, uncon-
trolled, & untrammelled Here am hap
py as lord; can drink as many bottles of
Niblo's old stingo as please; can reel
home, tumble myself into bed, boots and
all; no wife to upbraid me for absence,
scold me tor sot, or turn me from my
pillow at eight in the morning; my ears
are not stunned with her shrill tones, nor
my eyes offended by her sour looks; old
Phillis cooks my steak, makes my bed,
smokes her pipe in peace, and is always
glad to see me, drunk or sober, that's
your sort:
"A bachelor leads merry life,
Few folks that are married live better
Hey, Howard, what do you say F.? Am
| right, old chronicle? Do you not say
ditto No, sir, said |, with great gravity,
| am not with you, disapproye of your
Whole position. do not say ditto. A
forfeit, forfeit, exclaimed the whole
company-hcre's treason amongst us, a
spy in our camp, an advocate for matri.
mony, fine him, fine him, a bumper of
salt water, cold bath, no punishment is
too severe for such alarming opinions
order, order, gentlemen, exclaimed the
chairman, let us hear his defence, let us
treat him with decorums Come How
ard, said Van Snarl, your reasons, your
reasons, my boy. Why, gentlemen, said
l., although aware that was to dine with
bachelors, was not prepared to meet a
party hostile to matrimony--I myself
am bachelor, tits true, tits pity, and
pity It's, it's true yet cannot subscribe
to the correctness of doctrines, such as
| have just heard advanced. Manis asocial
being by nature; he was never intended
to be isolated, floating through the world
without ties OF affection, of association, or
OF kindred; has duties to perform to re-
| liglon, to country and to morality, and
all these point to marriage as the great
end by which they may be atcompl ished
and fulfilled. You boast OF freedom, OF
the joys of your table, ofyorr unrestrain-
ed liberty; the savage whose yell rever-
berates through the forest, is equally
free; lie becomes infuriatel by rum, and
basks in the sun-beams in dgnifed iiltox-
ication. No soul feels an interest for
you, no soul dares moleS him-so far
you are equal; but the savage marrieS,
he roves through the woods with his
wife by his side; he hunts the fleet deer,
because his wife partakes of the spoil
and praises his dexterity; he teaches
his boys to become warriors, familiarizes
them to the bow and arrow and the
pointed javelin; the savage has social
relations even in his moments of brutal
intoxication-he is, therefore, your So
herior. IF you have no wife to control
or direct your movements YOU have no
friend who feels an interest for your
health and happiness, whosighs for your
griefs, who rejoices in yolr prosperity,
who watches your pillow in the hour OF
sickness, who administer with her fair
and soft hand the medLine for your
health, and binds your brovs, and soothes
your agitation with the sweet kiss of affec-
ton. If you are thus free, you have no
children whose growing virtues do honor
to their sire, whose cheerful prattle
blunts the dull edge of care. If marriage
brings with it some privaions, it amply
compensates by the additional comfort,
confidence. mutual respect, and influ-
ence, which it carries in lis train. Why
then rail at matrimony? Instead Of reel
ing home at night, and ercountering the
black vlsage OF your wench as she opens
the door for you, and you sneak through
the dark hall to your combrtless and So
litary bed, walk uprigh and soberly
home, there meet the cheerful smile and
cordial welcome of your wife, as she
leads you to the ample FIRE, and there
enjoy (what you never will if you retain
your present sentiments) the social con-
verse and innocent hilariy Of lawful