Elizabeth-Town gazette. [volume] (Elizabeth-Town, N.J.) 1818-1821, 1820-10-03

sCtt, IOHuu Ills DVU5S ~ httttC tESctuDltDS
one Of concord, ttsst be beihought him
self seriously Of tlT necessity ofeemedy-
Il ing it--and, theressre, according to the
old proyerb, that 4 Ia the multitude Of
counseIIors there + safety" he applied
to uncle Bartholomaw for advice. This,
agreeably TO his sNiaI custom, was con-
cisely giyen--it ~ 10 four words
Never dispute a5at irjfes s'-apd, SO
forcibIy was the yobag fellow impressed
with the efficacy I'll il, that from that
thine forward, iheyswere reckoned the
happiest couple in slsf village.
Some time age, Ifeceived an invita-
ltion to spend the afternoon with 40 ac-
qaaintance whom had not seen for
number of ase, accordingly, cal
culated upon enjoysag myself vastly
1 The appointed day lssing arrived. set
out, and was receivea with every demon
stration Ofjoy, by RiarRAm DABBLR and
bis dame. II was frs, time | had
seen them since tliei marriage, and /
formed very favaz able opiuion of his
wife, from the clea1Iaess and regularity
manifested in The disf ssitioD Of her house
bold, and the tidine5 III her three little
daughters-every q! had the appear
ance OF wax work.
After answering ta.s usual round OF
questions, | was ira led ont, very abb
rHptly as | fancieA ~ my friend Ber-
tram, in order 10 In his plantation
aud so well did he o{1sipy my attention,
that il was tea-tima IRE we returned
we found dane DabfE busily engaged ia
arranging her seryi4- and 10 few mi
nutes we were summd d q to tea r. III
was delighted with tllg appearance Of her
house, | was much H#tter pleased with
her tempting yisnds, lad ! anticipated a
most delicious meal shen, alas, All ac-
cident occurred which completely destroy
ed all my hopes!
A large cream jn{ had been placed
upon q small stand, Ehr the par pose ol
repIenishing the Questionable one on
the table--this jug. its contents, pos
sessed Sufficient charnls to attract the at
tention Of favorite CD then 10 the room,
who seemed very willing to appropriate it
to her own use. This movement being
observed by Bertrand be Immediately
gave notice Of il to bis daughters, by sing
ing cenplet Of an ol4 ballad, with, I'M
fortunately for the conf ri of the remain
ing part Of the day. nsposisiou Of two
words which has been in use many years,
viz
" The cats in the cream jug,
Giris run, girls run
The cats in--"
Here, however. he was interrupted by
bis wife, whose ears could not reconcile
the sransposition apparent 10 the second
line, and she Immediately exclaimed, 81
wonder, my dear, you can be so forgetful,
I'm sure you know it must be thus:
The eats in the cream jug,
Run girls, run girls
The cats in the cream Jug,
Run eSrls, run r'
Bertram rejoined; and the wife re.
reioined. the dispute had reached a
considerable height, when ii was termi-
mated 10 a manner not very pleasant to
me, viz: scalding myself most unmerci-
fully with Dame Dabhle's tea-which
caused me to scamper about the room. TO
the no small amusement of the disputants,
whose unnecessary contradictions had
completely deranged my faculties. The
cat, however, was driven out, and having
again taken my seat, tea was finished III
rather more quietness than it commenced ;
though my comfort was entirely destroy,
| ed; and therefore hurried home as soon
as possible; lamenting the lot Of my friend
who, if he would merely have followed
uncIe's advice-of "never dispuiiag about
trifles," might have been the happiest man
in the village.
In my further progress through life,
found that there were great many Der
tram DGb5lts! Aud to all such I will
merely observe, in the words Of my un-
Gle" Meier dispute about trJfes.
| A new mode Of dispersion was lately
adopted 10 England, which had the de
sired effect. Four or five thousand col
liers from w. had quilted their employ
ment owing to reduction Of wages, anC
armed with sticks, &c. had threatened
vengeance. The Shrewsbury Yeomanry
we're called out to qaell them, who gave
them few rounds, not Of cold lead. but
of shillings. sixpences, &c. and friendly
advice, all Of which they received ant
quietly dispersed.
There is in Salem, Mass. Singular
instance Of the perfection at which the
senses of touch aud hearing arrive il
persons born blind. The person alluded
to is the public crier. He is not only
destitute Of sight, but has 40 eyes; ye
he will go as directly and as surely to any
] house ia town, as the best acquainted in