Alexandria gazette & daily advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1817-1822, 1819-03-10
WE'D EsDAY, MARCH 10. 1919,
sTcRy OF KIT. CRACKER --Concluded

nayst be very good companion without
sweryi,g from the truth; nay, thou canst
no oihern ise hs- a good one, than by adhe-
ring To It Cor if thou art in the practice OF
uttering fa'sehoods, we shall he in the prac-
tice Of disbelieving thee even when thou
speakest the truth and so there VIII be an
end of all confidence in society, and thy
word - III pass for nothing. have obser-
we'd it is thy vanity that betrays thee into
falseboed should have hoped thou
youllsl Not have forgotten how thy false
hood betrayed thee into shame, and how
We received and welcomed thee into our
society, when thy friends N the metropolis
had booted thee out Of theirs. Think not
thou canst establish credit with US Ivy the
ficti"ns of Imagination plain truths suit
men of plain understandings. Had thy
sh rk been as big again as thou wouldst
have us believe il was, what wouldst thou
have gained by it? Nothing but the merit
of having seen amonster: and what is that
compared to the risque of being thought
monster-maker? If thou vast snatched
from the jaws of the animal, by the hand Of
God, give God the praise: 1t thine own
courage AMI address contributed to save
thee, give him still the praise, who inspired
thee with those means of iurthering his
providence in thy rescue. Where is the
ground for Boosting in all this Sometimes
thou wouldst persuade US thou art man OF
consequence, in the favor Of princes and IN
the secrets of ministers. If we are to be-
heye all this, thou dost but libel those mi
nisters for letting such babbler into their
councils and if thou tbinkest TO gain con-
sequence with US thereby, thou art grle-
yously deceived, friend Cracker, for we do
not want to know what thou Oughtest no.
TO tell, and we despise the servant VINO be-
trayeth his masters trust. As for wonders,
what signiheth telling US of them! The
time is full of wonders the revolution OF
empires, the fall Of despotism and the eman-
cipation of mankind, are objects whose SUI
perior magnitude makes thy SHARK shrink
into am atom Had the monster gorg d thee
at a mOuthiul, how many Thousands, nay,
tens of thousands have he yoracious jaws
of death devoued in succession OF cam
paigus, which have made creation melt !
Dist thou escape the monster ! what then:
how can we have leisure to reflect upon thy
single deiiyerance, when we call to mind
the numbers OF despairing captives who
have been liberated from the damp dun
geons oftyrany In word, friend Crack
err, ifit is through love for the marvellous
thou makest so free with the sacred name
of truth, thou dost but abuse our patience
in hunting after sharks and monsters Oh the
deep and ifthou hast any other motive for
fiction than the above, it must be motive
less innocent than have supposed, and in
that case, we hold thee dangerous to soete-
ty, and disgrace to human nature"
Here he concluded land though the length
and deliberate solemnity of his harangue
ha given me time enough, yet | had not
50 ayailed myself OF it rs to collect my
thoughts, and prepare myself for any kind
of Refence. How to deal with this formal
old fellow knew not: TO cudgel him was
a service OF mole danger than as ht to
engage in, Tor he was Of athletic limbs and
stature: to challenge him to gentleman's
sausl .ction, BEING quaker, would have
SUBJECTED me to universal ridicule. rise
from NY chair, took my bat from the peg
am Quilted the room. Next morning sent
to cul my name out of the club, but behold!
they had saved he that ceremony over
night, and had once more new set OF &C
auaintances to go in search OF.
In this solitary interim, | strove to light
en- The burden of time by correspondence
with one of our public prints, and so long
as ] supplied it with anecdotes from the
county, may say, without vanity, there
was neither fire nor food, mur'ier, rape nor
robbery wanting to embeliisn it. l broke
two or three necks at horse-race, without
any detriment TO the community, and tor
tn, amusement of my readers, drove over
blind beggars, drowned drunken farmers
ana tossed women by mad bGllocks, with
out ADDING one item to the bills OF mortall-
ty: made matches without number' which
the esisler never recorded. was at the
same time correspondent at Brussels, a