Elizabeth-Town gazette. [volume] (Elizabeth-Town, N.J.) 1818-1821, 1819-08-31

4;hial of laadanum. swallowed the
whole of it--and ere long strange Ell
feet was produced. | fell into delirium,
and ielt wild pleasure in dancing along
over the waves. | imagined myself In
vessel, and on voy rage, and had dreamy
impression that there was connected with
it something of glory. Then believes,
in moment after, that | had been bound,
thrown overheard, aud forsaken by mu-
tinous crew. As these various fancies
alternated, / recollect, 10 my deiirium,
bursting out into loud peais oil laughter
singing to myself-and huzzaing with
mad kind of enjoyment. Then, suddenly,
a cold tremulous sickness would iali on
me--a weight of sadness and despair.
Every now and then, there came these
momentary Hastings of reality; but the
conviction of my personal identity soon
gave way to those wilder fits, and DRIFT
ed along through the moonless darkness OF
the roaring night, with all the fierce ex-
ultation OF raving mailman. No wonder.
The laudanum, the cold, the wet, the
dasIiing, the batteting, The agony, were
enough to account for all this, aud more
than my soul dare even now shadow out
to her shuddering recollection. But as
God pitied the miserable, SO also has he
forgiven the wicked thoughts of that i'm
aginable night.
During one of these delrious fits
whether it was dream or reality | know
not,-but methought heard the most an
selic music that ever breaihed from Heav-
Ell. 1t seemed to come on the winds-to
rise up from the sea--to melt down from
the stormy clouds. 1t was at last like a
full band of Instrumental music, soft, deep,
wild, such as ! have heard playing on
board ship of war. / saw white CLEAN
through the snow-I heard a rushing noise
with the music,-and the glorious ghost
of ship went roaring past me, all illumi-
mated with lamps-her colors flying
every sail set, and her decks crowded
with men. Perhaps real ship sailedby
with festivity on board. Or was it a wis.,
ion Whatever it was, felt 10 repining
when it passed me by; it seemed some
thing wholly alien to me the delirium
had swallowed up all fear, all selfshness;
the past and future were alike forgotten,
and kept floating along, selfquestioned
no longer, assured that was somehow or
other part of the waves and tempest,
and that the wonderful and beautiful Wis
ion that had fioated by me was an aborigi.
nal creature of the Ocean. There was
uDspeakable pride and grandeur in this
delirium. ! was more intensely conscious
of frightened existence than ever was
in the most glorious dream, and instead Of
fearing death, Isfelt as if | were immor-
tai.
This delirium, l think, must have
gradually subsidized during kind of sleep,
for dimiy recollect mixed images efpain
and pleasure, land and sea, storm and
calm, tears and laughter. | thought l
had companion at my side, even her /
best loved; now like an angel comforting
me, and now like myself needing TO be
comforted, lying on my bosom, cold,
dreuched, despairing, and insane, and ut
tering, with pale quiveriDg lips, the most
horrid and dreadful imprecations. Once
/ heard, methought, voice crying below
the wave, +" Hast thou forgotten There
sa ?" And looking down, saw some
thing like the glimmering of shroud
come slowly upwards from vast depth,
TO the surface of the water. / stopped
down to embrace it, and 10 moment a
ghastly, blue.swollen face, deieatured
horribly, as if by gnawing teeth Of sea
monsters, dashed against mine; and as it
sank again, knew well to whom belong
ed the black streaming hair. But /
awoke. The delirium was gone and
vas at once totally different creature.
/ awoke into low, heartless, quaking,
quivering, fear-haunted, cowardIy, and
weeping dependency, 10 which all forth
tude was utterly Frustrated. The excite
ment had worn out my very soul. A
corpse rising out of cold clammy grave,
could not have been more wo-begone, spir.
itless, bloodless. Every thing was seen
in its absolutely dreadful reality. was
a cast-away-no hope of rescue. 1t was
broad daylight, the storm had ceased;
but clouds lay round the horizon, and no
land was to be seen. What dreadful
clouds Some black as PITCH and charged
with thunder; others like cliffs of fire )
and here and there all streametl over with
blood. 1t was indeed sullen, wrathful
and despairiug sky. The sun itself was
a dull, brazen orb, cold, dead and beam
less. / beheld three ships aiar off, but
all their heads were turned away from
me. For whole hours they would adhere
motionless TO the sea, while / drifted
away from them, and then rushing wind
would spring up, and carry them one by
one into the darkness of the stormy dis