Alexandria gazette & daily advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1817-1822, 1819-02-20
PROFESSOR OF SIGNS; or, TWO WAYS of
TELLING STORY.

PROFESSOR OF SIGNS; or, TWO WAYS OF
TELLING STORY.
King James vi, on removing 10 L'n1on
was waited upon by the Spanish Ambassa-
dor a man of erudition, but who had a
crotchet in his head that every country
should have Professor Of Signs, to teach
him, and the like Of him to understand one
another. The Ambassador was lamenting
one day, before the King, this great desi-
deratum throughout all Europe, when the
King y no was qneerish sort of man, says
to him: 'Why, | have a Professor OF Signs
in the northernmost College in my doTin-
ions, viz at Aberdeen; but il is vast way
off. perhaps 500 miles 'Were it ten thou
sand leagues off shall see him, says the
Ambassador; and am determinedtoset out
in two or three days" The King saw
he had committed himself, and writes, or
causes 10 be written, to the University
of Aberdeen, stating the case and desiring
the Professors 10 put him off some way, or
make the best of him. The Ambassador
arrives and is received with great sefem-
nity but soon begins to enquire which OF
them had the honor to'be Professor OF Signs!
aud being told that the Professor was alb
sent in the Highlands, and would not re-
turn nobody could say when, says the Am-
bassador, 4 will wait bis return tho 1t were
twelve months Seeing that this would
not DO, and that they had him to entertain
Al a great expense oil the while, they con-
,riyed slratagem. There was one Geor-
DIV, butcher, blind of ore eye, droll tel
low. with much wit and roguery about him.
He is got, told the story, and Instructed 10
be professor Of Signs, but not to speak on
pain OF death Geordy undertakes it. The
Ambassador is now told that the Professor
of Signs would be home next day, at which
be reioiced greatly. Geordy is gowned,
w;ssed, and placed in chair OF state in
room of the College, all the Professors, and
the Ambassador being IN an adjoining room.
The Ambassador is now shown ihto Geor-
dy's room, aud left to converse with him as
well as he could, the whole of the Profess
sors waiting the issue with tear and tlem-
bling. The Ambassador holds up one OF
his fingers TO Geordy ;--Geordy holds up
two ofhis the Ambassador holds upthree;
-Gcordy clinches his fist and looks stern.
The Ambassador then takes out an orange
from his pocket. and holds il up; Geordy
takes a piece of a barley cake fiorn his
pocket, and holds that up. After which
The Ambassador bows to him and retires
20 the other Professors, who anxiously in
uure bis opinion cf their brother. lie IS
perfect miruclc,' says the Ambassador
Il would 10, give him for the wealth OF the
lnliesl' 'Well,' say the Professors, TO de-
cend to particulars Why says the AM
bassador, 4 first held up one finger, demo-
t.ug that there. was one God he held up
two, signiiying that these are the Father
and Son; held up three, meaning The
Father, Son, AMI Holy Ghost; he clench-
ed his Est, TO say that these three were one.
then took out an orange, signiiylng the
goodness Of God, who gives his creatures
not only the necessaries but the luxurles OF
LIE upon which the wonderful man pre-
scented piece of bread showing that
il was the staff of life, and preferable
10 every luxury The Professors were
very glad that matters had turned out
so we'll; SO having got Quit ofthe Ambassa-
dor. they got Geordy, TO hear his version
of the signs. well, Geordy, how have you
come on, aud what think you Of your man
The rascal said Geordy, what did he
do first, think ye? He held up one finger,
as much as to say you have but one eye !!
Then held up tive, meaning that my one
eve was perhaps as good as both OF his.
Then the fellow held up three of his fin
gers, to say that there were but three eyes
between US and then was so mad at the
scoundrel, that | stseked my neipe, and was
to come whack on the side Of his head,
and whorld i,a' Cone il too, but for your
sakes. Then the rascal did not stop with
his provocation here; but iorsoo,h takes
out an orange, as much as to say, your poor
beggsr!y cold country cannot produce that
I shaved him wnang of bare hammock,
meaning that did ma care farthing for
him, nor'tis trash neither, as lang's ha'
this! But by a that's good concluded
Georiv) | am angry yet that l. didnat