Edwardsville spectator. [volume] (Edwardsville, Ill.) 1819-1826, 1819-09-25
FROM THE SKETCH HOOK.
HOMAS TUFTS.
Hon. S. l.. MitchiU.


Rip Van Wrinkle was one of those
happy mortals, of foolish well-oiIed dis
positions, who take the world easy, eat
white bread or brown, whichever can be
got with least thought or trouble, and
would rather starve on a penny than
work for pound. If left to himself, he
would have whistled life away, in per-
fect Contentment; but his wife kept con-
tnuaiiy Ginning in his ears about his
ldleness, his carelessness, and the ruin
he was bringing on his family. Morning
noon, and night, her tongue was inces-
sanity going, and every thing he said or
did, was sure to produce a torrent of
household eloquence. Rip had but one
way OF replying to all lectures of the
kind, and that, by frequent use, had
grown into a habit. He shrugged his
shoulders, cast up his eyes, but said no.
thing. This, however, always provoked
fresh volley from his wife, SO that he
was fam to draw off his forces, and take
to the outside of the house, the only side
which. in truth, belongs to henpecked
husband.
Rips sole domestic adherent was his
dog Wolf, who was as much henpecked
as his master; for Dame Van Wrinkle
regarded them as companions in idle
ness, and even looked upon Wolf with
an evil eye, as the cause of his masters
SO often going astray. True it is, in all
points Of spirit betting an honorable dog,
Ia AL,
secured the woods-but what courage
can withstand the ever-during and all
besetting terrors of a woman's tongue?
The moment Wolf entered the house,
his crest fell, his tail dropped to the
ground, or curled between his legs; he
sneaked about with galiows air, casting
a side-long glance at Dame Van Wrinkle,
and at the least flourish OF broom stick
or ladle, would fly to the door wllh yelp-
ing precipitation. = ~
Times grew worse and worse with
Rip Van Wrinkle, as years ofmatriInony
rolled on; a tart temper never mellows
with age, and sharp tongue is the only
edge tool that grows keener by constant
use. For long while he USED to con-
sole himself, when driven from home,
by frequenting kind of perpetual club
of the sages, philosophers, and other
idle personages of the village, that held
its sessions on bench before small
inn, designated by rubicund portrait
OF his majesty George the Third. Here
they used to sit in the shade, Of long
lazy summers day, talk iistlessy over
village gossip, or tell endless sleepy
stories about nothing. But it would
have been worth any statesman's money
to have heard the profound discussions
that sometimes took place, when by
chance, an old newspaper fell into their
hands, from some passing traveller.
How solemnly they would listen to the
contents, as drawled out by Derrick
Van Bummel, the sohooImaster, dap
per learned little man, who was not to be
daunted by the most gigantic word in
the dictionary and how sagely they
would deliberate upon public events
some months after they'll taken place.
The opinions ofthis junto were COM
pletely controlled by Nichols Vedder,
patrlarCn OF inc village, ana landlord
of the inn, at the door of which he took
his seat from morning till night, Just
moving sufficiently to avoid the sun, and
keep in the shade of large tree; so
that the neighbors could easily toll the
hour by his movements as accurately as
by sun dial. 1t is true, he was rarely
heard to speak, but smoked nfessantly.
His adherents, however, Ger every
great man has his adherents, lperfactly
! understood him, and knew hoYto gather
his opinions.-When any thi$ that was
read or related displeased hip, he was
observed to smoke his pipe VI ementiy,
and send forth short, froquft, angry,
puffs; but when pleased, hdwould in
hale the smoke slowly and TRANQUILITY,