Elizabeth-Town gazette. [volume] (Elizabeth-Town, N.J.) 1818-1821, 1819-01-12

in so justly ridiculous light, the animal newly i'm
ported into our country, yclept dandy, will, W
are certain, prove particularly entertaining to gu
readers.
"Last year exhibited few
Most odd anomalies TO view;
Creatures as strange, though not SO rare,
As unicorns and mermaids are,
Which we Vermonters rarely ken,
Not women quite, nor yet quite men,
Who wise philosophers perpiex
To ascertain their kind or sex;
PRODUCED, It's probable enough,
Between bubble and puff,
That wood each other, some suppose,
Just like the nightingale and rose,
Which, say the oriental rhymes,
Were smitten with love in ancient times.
7 hese things by wicked wits are maui'd
And erquisites or handles call'd.
But we have feelings too humane
To wish TO give moments pain
To any creature great or small,
That e'er was known to strut or crawl.
As uncle Toby, $50 says Sterne,)
Would tongs and shovel to bridges turn,
For worms and pismires to retire,
Whose domiciles were on the fire,
We volunteer, with all our heart,
TO take the sprigs of fashions part
The gauntlet throw to every wit,
Who dare assail an exquisite,
And each and all of satire's gang
Shall take whack for every bang,
Receive jeer for every gibe
That's aim'd against the dandy tribe.
Though crotched things, in lady's stays,
Strike simpletons with vast amaze,
Still there is nothing new display'd,
For every sober man is staid.
With satire's scourge to lace the elves,
Who condescend to lace themselves,
Thus, to the best Of their ability,
Are doing penance TO gentility,
Is sheer absurdity allied
To hanging rogues for suicide.
We like the plan that's hit upon
BY such file leaders of the ton.
In former days that kind of timber
Was notable for being timber,
A beau. with feelings e'er so big,
Was plant as willow twig,
Would bow as often as you please
As low as ninety odd degrees;
A modern dandy's no such thing,
He could not StoOp to please king,
From which it follows plain as light,
A dandy is no parasite
Must be sturdy freeman if
He's half as stout as he is stiff.
And pray whose business is't we beg,
If splinter'd like broken leg,
With legs in two four-bushel bags,
He moves laughing stock for wags?
We know whatever is ridiculous
Will have tendency to tickle us,
And mirth, the wise man says, imparts
A useful medicine to our hearts.
A dandy's therefore useful that
Is just the thing for laughing at.
As fools are sometimes kept at court
Merely to make their betters sport,
A fopling of the dandy cut
May serve good purpose as butt.
Or mark, which every merry man
Will hit as often as he can.
And therefore we, instead Of aiding,
Malicious ways 10 bastiDading
Said exquisites, should be agreed
To give premium for the breed,
As much as for the largest OK,
Merely TO serve for laughing stocks,
And then would mark them every one
THIS animal is food for fun.
Though some declare, 'tis hardly right
For bucks to grid their necks so tight
Their eyes project like pegs an inch,
To hang your hat on in pinch.
There may be reasons good for that;
Should justice furnish cravat,
The neck that's us'd to being girt
Undoubtedly would be less hurt
Than one ne'er call'd on to endure
A fashionable ligature.
Nor need the culprit take occasion
To plead the Irishman's evasion,
Who being at the hangman's beck,
And owner Of ticklish neck,
Declsr'd he hop'd 'twould be no harm
To place the moose beneath his arm,-
For that would be a new invention
IT. improve the art Of neck suspension,
Which paddy thought as us'd at present