Elizabeth-Town gazette. [volume] (Elizabeth-Town, N.J.) 1818-1821, 1818-12-01
MISCELLANY.
From the Connecticut Courant.
THE BRIEF REMARKER.

81 The commerce of neighbourly social
life is carried on chiefly with small change.
* Fast favours are seldom bestowed, and
heavy obligations are seldom incurred.
III is the constant interchange Of little obi
ging attentions, that constitutes conauJiai
happiness. 1t springs from an uninterrupt-
led series of little acts of mutual kindness,
light as air themselves, and costing little or
nothing, but of unreasonable importance
In their consequences as they furnish the
oniy kind Of food that will long sustain
that delicate kind of friendship for the
absence of these small attentions occasions,
first GOODNESS, then distrust, and finally
Ialienation. Setting aside the british and
The dissoute part of community, wives
and husbands disagree oftener by much
about trifles, than about things Of real
weight. Perhaps nine in ten of their dis
putes and squabbles grow out of little
things, such as trivial neglects, petty tres
passes, or word unkindly spoken nay
merely hard look, sometimes lays the
foundation of q hard quarrel. A husband
can never please his wife any longer than
his general conduct evinces that he is, in
most respects, well pleased with her and
SO UiCe UerSG.
If we extend our view to the larger cir
Gle of social intercourse which compre-
bends relations, friends and acquaintance
Of. every kind and degree, We shall find
that the frequent interchange of courteous
attentions aud petty kindnesses, is the
thing that keeps them united together and
pleased with each other;. and that in de-
fault of this, they presently lose all relish
for one anothers company. The truth is,
as our tempers are oftener ruflled by tri-
fles than by things of moment, so, on the
other hand, our affections are more won
BY long series Of trivial obligations than
by one single obligation, however great.
Man, put him where you viii, is a proud
hearted little animal. And hence we be-
come attached TO those who are in the bab-
it of treating us as if they thought us wor-
thy Of their particular notice and regard,
and at the same time cold and secretly re-
sentful toward such as habitually neglect
us in these little points ;-even though the
former never have done us single ianpor-
tant favour, and the latter, in some one
Instance or other, have essentially be-
triended us.
With regard to neglects and trespasses
10 those little things which constitute the
main substance of social life, the worst of
it is, that they are incapable offree discus
sion; and Of course, the wounds from them
admit of no healing, we are deeply touch
ed with omissions, or Sights, for which ii
would be ridiculous TO expostulate or COM
plain. They leave sting which secretly
rankles in our memories and testers in
our imaginations and inwardly we feel
sore, while we are ashamed to fret out
wardly /; the cause Of our provocation be-
ing an undesirable nameless something,
upon which we never can ask for an ex-
pIanation, and consequently never can OBJ
tain any satisfaction.
True enough, all this is often i'll ground
ed, or the offspring Of mere jealousy.
But this makes the case the more remedi-
less; for iirgrouDded enmities are the
most obstinate because as their cause ex-
lists altogether or chiefly in the magma
zion, the Imagination is ever busy in col
ouring and magnifying them; whereas
when the offence, though real, is of def
nite form and shape, it may be got over.
have seen two friends dispute and quar-
rel violently about an affair of moment,
and then settle it, and presently become as
kind and loving together as ever: aud l
have seen other two friends, who never
quarreled together at all, become first cold,
and at last utterly estraaged, by reason OF
aneglect or slight, on the ono side or the
other, which, Of itself, was too trivial to
be so much as mentioned 10 the Offending
+ party.
There are those who are willing to O.
hlise, but are unwilling to receive obliga'