Alexandria gazette & daily advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1817-1822, 1818-11-11
TIE PARSONS WIG.

THE PARSONS WIG.
Some years ago, a New England Clergy
man, somewhat advanced in years, thought
prorer 10 purchase a new wig Tor his own
use. In doing this he consulted his own
taste, and procured one which he thought
becoming his age and station. On his ap-
pearing with it the next Sabbath at church,
his Pensioners were surprised; and more
attention was paid TO the wig, than TO the
words of him who wore it. A general dis
satisfaction prevailed; all were displeascd.
Some on Que account, and some on another
-one thought i, wanted more cur's, and
others less-one thought it TOO large, and
Others too all-some.thcught it ought to
be powdered, and others that it Dug ht not
and as to color, one preferred black, anolb-
er grey, and another red. Others again
thought it was not placed properly on the
preachers head one good old lady express
sed wish that he would place the back
part in front, as it would then be terror to
evil doors, and keep the playful children in
order.
By the time the evening service was en-
ded, the discomfort had become so great,
that committee was appointed to wait on
the parson, and demonstrate with him on
the subject. They assured him that they
felt great interest in his welfare and that
the complaint against the wig was general
through the parish-that they paid him for
preaching, and therefore had an undoubted
right 10 regulate his appearance; and final.
~, that the cause Of religion was in danger,
unless be complied with their demand;
which was TO give up the utg 10 them, TO be
altered and shaped in such manner as to
give Satisfaction 10 all lis hearers. The
parson was highly amused with these repre-
senlallons and, knowing all attempts at
reasoning would be frutless, determined TO
make his crazy congregation sensible OF
their folly, by INDUCING their whims though
il would be at his own expense. lie SUBJ
mitted the wig 10 their disposal, and meet
ing was soon called to regulate the head
dress of their poor preacher. Some brought
their curling irons, some their scissors, and
Others a proiuson OF powder. Nor were
they long in commencing their operations
hut as no two could agree as 10 hal should
be done, and each one insisted on the right
OF being suited, they fell TO quarrelling a.
mong themselves, and scene Of uproar en-
sued-the wig was banded about among
them--ihe scissors and tongs were applied
il was clipped, frizzled, and snarled, and
m few minutes became perfect scare
crow.
The wig regulators now all agreed in
condemning their own folly, and dispersed
with shame, declaring that rs The walk
and conversation of their preacher were
uneNceptionable. they would no more in
tericre in matters in which they had no
concern.
The above story conveys an useful lesson
to those Disconnected and restless people,
who imagine they are qualified TO regulate
the affairs OF all their acquaintance, and dis
turb the peace oftheir neighbors by whimsi-
cal complaints about trihes. 1t also furnish
es a hint to those who are continually find.
ing fault with preachers, schoolmasters,
magistrates, and editors Of newspapers, &c.
whose conduct does not always eracfiy a.
gree with their notions of propriety.