The Portland gazette. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1818-1824, 1818-05-05
been a peaceful and virtuous man ;

II shof}t have been peaceful and virtuous man
| / h ID reason to prevent me from being so.
| Len thy capital Of Venezuela, where had
spen The lest ofmy young days, and returned to
my coantrt mere began entirely new life.
| Anew eaTl atsned itself to my view was soon
! tired ~. IVY titude ofmy old habits, and be-
came e, chan ad Nth the seducing pleasures and
hopes W. ira held forth to me-.
! No 500 WI WI ldergo this change than be-
/ came ano au and all the seeds my fli-
| tire vices ve terminated at once. My
! friends. WIZ Were ra y ones, contributed to des-
troy me. anC endowed with lively imagination
! and a tolerable genius, men as ignorant as pre-
sumptuous completed my perdition, r
| Since this time became wretch, wandering
through the Islands without an honest occupation
passing my days in forming chimerical schemes
to accumulate riches and elated with the proud
est opinion Of myself In this crisis the genius of
evil and discord appeared on this continent,
where repaired, fattering myself, that it was
the theatre on which had to perform the prin-
cipal part Of the scene of the great drama.
! Fortune oftentmes accompanied my under
takings, and the various successes ofmy politi-
cal and military life, are public acts. ! was
elevated To the highest ranks of what | then
thought government. | was generally admired
and respected, the lives and properties of indi-
! yiduals Were. placed at my command, and my
will and capfice were obeyed as sovereign laws.
| saw myself sometimes with exultation frater-
nally embraced, and fattered by those who in
other times were too proud to honor me with a
smile. Many who formerly would act admit me
TO tread upon then entries, were now standing
not daring to sit down before me. In the same
manner have occupied the first seats at tables,
which few years previous attended as a SER
! want.
confess, that often alone, | meditated on
these circumstances and heard, although at a
distance the voice oftruth, proclaiming the false
hood of these seducing appearances. But the
seed of pride had already taken sush deep root
IN my heart, that it was impossible to eradicate
it, and thought myself capable of giving laws
to the whole human species.
confess before the whole world, that from
this principle arose the heap of crimes, the idea
of which fills me with terror forgot who
was, from whom received my birth and educa-
ton, and what should and could have been, and
ever since this was forgotten, all my deeds were
errors, and all my thoughts crimes.
! shudder at the memory OF the evils which
have caused and the stream Of blood which has
been shed at my command, and which the hand
Of eternal justice pours as it were upon my head.
God Of mercy have pity on me. Piar was
go affected here that he discontinued writing UNI
Ill an hour after.
declare that i'll have been fool in the DAYS
Of my errors, have been more so in the last ones
fmy Career.--I know the man who deprives me
of life.
was aware that he was capable Of the most
atrocious deeds, provided they were favorable to
his purposes, and still contented myself with
giving him only some slaps on the face and few
kicks IN my room, some time after his arrival in
this province, when 1 ought to have assassinated
him for my safety and for the good fall mankind;
however, do not lament this much, from the
consideration that 1t is one crime less in the an
nails of nay life, and means of atonement for the
many have perpetrated will only enjoin my
companions ID. arfAs to learn from this a lesson
for the conduct which they have to observe res
pecting this most perfdious and cruel ofmen.
: | declare that | am married, but do not re-
member the name Of my consort, as my cam
paigns, Offices &C. have long ago erased it from
my memory. Besides it was generally imagined
from my pride and vanity, that deserved wife
moving in different sphere.
confess that have daughter by my matri-
mony, whose name, for the same reasons | do
net recolect, forget towards her the obligations
| q a father.
Il declare that effect of charity, be-
q0eath part OF these eloquent truths to the UNI
fortunates who have been led astray--to my own
| enemies-and to the very execrable man who is
going to reward with death the considerations
| which have enjoyed. warn all against his
deceits-there is no faith to be placed in his ep-
erations or thoughts--he does not even think
on the establishment of the extravaganza Repub-
lie, which Is nothing else than an assemblage Of
wicked men, who pretend to be, to gain, and to
appear, what they cannot, ought not, are not. at
the expense of the rest. and at the expense of yr-
| tue and truth. Let those whom warn return
to themselves, let them take firm and prudent
resolution, let them break asunder the chain
which binds them TO their prisons, and hasten to
restore the order which they have DESTROYED. and
to stop the stream Of evils which they have agi-
| tated.
| declare nothing as TO the place where nv re-
mains shall be deposited in few hours nv
blood will be cruelty shed, and hope it may not
| run on the heads of my enemies and their poster
| ity. But while am contemplating the dreadful
image OF my dissolution | am supported by the
consolation that my death will be the foundation
| on which will hereafter rest the re-estabhshment
| oiorder and the means to pull down the ridicu-
ious and weak edifice of the Republic Of Vene-
zuela. leave my body to the discretion of nv
unjust and cFeet enemies. May God forgive
! them as do.
As a testimony ofmy repentance enjoin those
who may pick up my body to carve the following
upon my tomb, with indellible characters
Here lies foolish
Vain maa-proud,
/ Presumptuous, and a liar,
Who being but a poor Barber,
Thought himselfa General
| pray to my mother aud "a M