Alexandria gazette & daily advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1817-1822, 1817-10-30


resuscitated. in, igorated and decora-
ted with such apparel as may best suit
the purchaser.
Speeches for young dcbutants at
town meetings. caacuses, and other
popular assemblies, warranted 10 pro-
cure an office for the speaker.
Toasts for public or private din
ners, in bundles ofeightcen each. we'll
assorted, and volunteers given gratis.
With many other useful articles,
not reducibie to alphabetical classifi-
cation.
N. b. Secundus. The senior part
ner of our firm served a regular ap-
premiership in the shop of Messrs.
Colon Il spondce, at Walpole, N. Fl.
well known few years since, as the
conservatory of polite literature. At
the dissolution of their partnership,
they gave him, in token of their APP.
probation for his faithful services,
their patent STYLE PoLIsHER, the
same which the LAY PREACHER used
in preparing for the press those inim-
table essays which appeared in the
Farmers Museum. from 1894 to 1900.
1t is OF wonderful service in adjust
ing epithsts, clearing obscurities.
smoothing turgescences, refining vul-
garities, and polishing periods. Pro-
fcssors of rhetoric in amy of our collie
ges shall be INDUCED with the use it,,
in our shop, SO long as they continue
to patronize the New-England Ga
laxy.
n. d. Tertias. We deem it pro-
per to give this public notice to all
whom it may concern, that one OF US
has assumed the censorship Of the
Boston Theatre for six months, and
will Immediately enter upon the duties
of the Office. Our Mr.. Scalpum is
duly qualified to take upon himself this
high and momentous service; having
in his study sOIinm crihcun, piece
Of furniture, probably not less ancient
than the Grecian Aristophanes, and
very possibly the same in which that
poet reclined while composing his
iampoons of Socrates, of which the
chair used by the President Of Har-
ward College on commencement days
is but a clumsy imitation. Seated in
this precious relict of antiquity. SIM
intends to furnish reviews and criti-
cisms forthc public and puffs and plas-
ter for the players. As he has screw
ed his integrity to the sticking place,
it will be in vain for tho managers to
tempt him with a season ticket gratis.
and all -bribes and fees of any sort
from the under players will be utterly
unavai.ing. Though he may some
times handle the faults of the players
with "the go.samer glove of criti-
cism," yet he will by no means suffer
a jack pudding to indulge his propen-
sity for smut and ribaldry without
telling the audience that they ought to
resent it. After this solemn ASST
rance of sturdy plain dealing, it is ho-
ned that no olficious intruder upon the
rights and privileges of our partner,
will pretend .hat he is not entitled to
the exclusive privilege Of making and
vending the aforesaid reviews, cri-
tiques, putfs, &c.
N. b. Quartus. As SIMS wife and
children may visit the theatre now
and then. those who play the clowns,
arc cauiiuned against saying more
that is set down for them, or uttering
before children ten years old, what
people of fifty cannot understand.
n. Is. Quintus. We have a Re-
bus Loom, which, having no use for
it, we Offer in exchange for few do
zen of original epigrams.well pointed.
The loom is az good rs new, and will
weave in one day, enismas, riddles,
REFUSES. charadcs, &c. sufficient to cap
the columns of all the newspapers in
the western hemisphere for the re-
mainder Of the present century.
PIP. SIS. Nm.
80