The Rhode-Island Republican. [volume] (Newport, R.I.) 1809-1841, 1817-10-22

4rfaps al knc fenCwncd ohhCAo r dhL., oSlub
for the most psrt liiisent spou'ers, some man
fily mounted on their Dapples, Others on
Sheir IL ,zinan,es, each one armed with All
enormous bag of, wind, rode constsn,ly, by
night and oy day round tho aeighborhood at
feii gallop, with huge speaking.trGmpets IN
,heir gaping mouths end blowing out from
their AIR swollen, bnrsling cheeks the horrid
sounds Of in6deis, Jacobins, Vandals, An
,hropophsge, Heathens, RufIiAns, Scoundrels,
Democrats, Villains, & Dsvils inearnats
Down with the IN, dc,Toy them, or clse VIC
shall be all mur dered and rayished. We arc
going TO be attacked by ragamnilia canntbals
who will 6rst eat rs without cooking and then
swallow up Acmsef0cs !"-iandbiils too,
as large as the side Of a house, and in types
- big as little boys, were scattered upon the
four great winds. TO catch these awful It'd
inss every eye, every ear and every mouth
was q Jar for some eight or ten days and
Nights The simple folk looked sillier, and
tn. wise men Of Gotham looked wiser than
ever. The wise eonjure's of the East, wore
such ambiguc-s. knowing physiogoomies lha,
II their constant activity had permitted them
20 be caught by portrait painter, they would
have furnished him with SO many legitimate
likencssos of Solomon. In tho mean time
the litigsnt troopers were not idle, though
often sore CALLED, they deserved we'll OF their
country by riding ssd laboring hare! for their
posie riors--that is, for the pos,erior part OF
the human race which follow them in the ca
pscity Of lineal descendants. Ever and anon,
these rcdoubtable cavaliers obstre pcrously
LEI off their bags Of wind with marvellous
dexleriy. Iaconiinently thereupon all the
old women tainted, the young ones ,hriekec,
whiic ,h, iiulc boys set up their shrili pipes
snd cried as ii their hearts would break
The whole fimily were nearly terrified 10
death Ut hearing the hideous stories Of gum.
bolumbo, Of raw head and bloody bones, and
other nursery tales Of terror which had long
been told TO scare children, and some old wo-
men In brccchcs and othors in pc,,icoa,s.--
keep them oot-~kill them," was the uni
sersai cry Of the house servants, and when.
over Two or three of the honest ploughmen
who cultivated the farm, and who were as
harmless as the man in the Moon were seen
together, they were Immediately denounced
os philosophers, illuminate, asassins, incsn-
diatiss, aud outlaws, utterly unfit TO live.
Then tho,o witbio doors prayed and preach
I'D mos, ef!icaciousIy against them, and made
amch waiings, such woe begopc vinegar
aeuntsaances, and such puritanical exhorsa-
himself suddenly ca rried back to the days Of
Oliver Cromwell and his celebrated Ruhp
Parliament .--Prodigies and wonderiol ,h'ugs
happened to the great ccnsic, nation OF Miss
,Stcadyka and divers others of her family.
Strange sights and apparilions vcre seen
which set the dogs a-batksng, c,ade horses
break thcir brides, and once, as il eredibly
reported, caused a bridicd COW to be taken in
ahor h>fo hcc md Nnil hn -
lpa,er and pAsteboard were rsiscd, then at
tackled and destroyed by swords, moskets and
artillery, Terrible giants were killed who
were made up Of rags and straw, expressly
to be hacked to pieces. Shouts of applause
followed these noble feats OF az ms--thc speak.
ing trumpots sounded a salute OF thanks, and
the wind troopers wrisslsd about most Ius.
tily.
Things went on thus for some timc--a,
length all liberty of opinion on religious
points was in:erdictcd--a certain creed was
promulgated, from which none must dare TO
dsviatc on penalty OF recommendations -
'Pesadventure, IL may have been fortunate for
Ntercw Jews that mono Of lhem were TO be
found in the household. Nor were there
any Mshonctans, Gcentoos, Tunksrs, or
Swedcnbor gisns-.~nor any Roman Catholics,
albeit there Was much discussion MS toue hing
manifold hidden mysteries. Nenher we're
there, according TO report, aDy open end se-
knowledge Socinians, . set hold in particular
ahhorrencs, and porchancc, one Of these un.
lseky gentry,f fairly caught in birthstone
rat trap, would have owed lis security from
hefng boiled, barbecaed or roasted, at least
as much 20 the want Of power TO do j, as TO
iany other three united reasons in the whole
chapter Of Steady habit liborality, as then ex.
plaioed and undcrstood.--lndsed opinions
Of oil kinds were to be exactly squared ac-
eosdinS to regular pattern publicly asisb-
lissed and elevated upon a lofty and terrific
P1ausrm. Some old and faithful servants
wore turned, neck K heels, out of the house,
for tho hercsy OF nss implicitly believing that
theis valetudnavian mistress possessed the
best possible Constitution in the whole uni.
verse. Whoever dared to doubt this dog ma,
which for . long period was principal ,e 5, Of
Or'hodoxy,was sunceremoniousIy braoded with
the s,igma,izins appella,ions OF " Jacobin 10.