The Alexandria herald. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1811-1826, 1816-12-13
MISCELLANY.
AMUSING.

-.
tleman, who had taken his wife and
daughters, at their urgent request, over
10 Paris, in order that they nigh, stake
q peep at the great nation, and obtain
rbe Polish Of the suonder/ui city," The
advantages of d trip to Paris, are in part
sxemplified in the following extract -
I" On reaching Paris, the first thing
we did was 20 look out for apartments,
and own l was apprehensiVe that my
wife, whe is ooe OF the neatest women
in the world, would be disguised with
the want Of cleanliness which our spa
cious and well furnished rooms exhibi
ted but on the contrary, she assured:
me, witha placid smile, that they were
not so bad as she unprecedented they
would be, and she thought we had bet
ter remove into thsm thet very day, as
her daughters must lose no time In C
quipping thems elves Ia Parisicnne.--,
AS { wished TO see them Handsomely
dressed, gaze my wife sum Il am
ashamed, Mr. Editor, TO mention the
amoun,) 20 buy what was necessary q.
but bad you seen the paraphernalia
which arrived at our hotel on that and
the next day, you would have supposed
my wife and daughters were laying In
a stock OF clothes for tae rest oil their
lives. began seriously TO demonstrate
with Mrs. NHomebred on this unneces-
saly extravaganza; but she assured
me was miSiaSsn in toto, as She had
strictly obeysd my orders, for she had
purchased nothing but what was abso-
lutcly necessary in shor', they were
thing which nobody could do without.
Now, MI Editor, il you are married,
you must be aware that wives are apt
to lay down certain inccmpreheRslbie
propositions as matters OF faith, 10 which
a husbaad, who means to live in peace.
must give his asscnti and must owns,
that this was one of them. However, /
must own as this was the FIRST time MIS-
lIonebred nad required the sarrendef
of III, understanding, / swallowed the
pill without making wry faces But.
my placidity could not stand the test OF
my wie's and daughters appearance
the next day at dinner f" In the name
of folly (cried ~ what costume do you
call this ?''---" La, papa, (cricd my ell
desl grill why the costume Of Paris, %
be sure -" No such thing, (rep!ied
y your heads are Ia Cbinoise, your
feet, la RoDlaiRe, your waists, la
Grecgue as TO your drapcry, that in
deed may q Ia Francoise, for any thing
! know 10 the contrary can only say
in plain English, that it is shamefully
indecent Iadecent |! (cricd my
wifeI how can you say SO, Nj. Home
bred don't you see the girls have got
handkerchiels on, which they never
wore in England !H-''I cry you mercy
{said y; so they have indeed but a
handkerchief which s;udiously displays
al! that it was originally intended to
hide, says little IL favor OF the delicacy
Of the wearer. But pray my dear,(con.
tinued ~ had not you setter loop the
girls dresses little higher ?"--rHigh.
er 20 repeated my wife in tone OF sur
prise. " Yes, (cried y for az present
they shoy only the calf Of the leg, and
If they were an inch or two shorter,they
would display the beauty of the knee"
The girls blushed, and cast down their
eyes, but their mother took up the mat
ter very aDgrily. " My dear, (cried y
your milliner has done her part so adj
InirabIy towards disfiguring you, that
you need not call anger to her assist.
ance" " Was ever the like heard (?
(cried she, now worked up into a real
rage) any body but yourself would give
me credit for adopting a dress so well
calculated for my years -" Why, in
deed, (replied y if females Of a certain
age were as much The rage here as in
England, might think that you did it
on purpose to keep out of the way of
temptation but as Monsieur, with all
his poIlteness, would pronounce you
f,assee, j should be sincerely glad to see
you dressed like the handsome elegant
matron brought with me from Eng
land, instead Of being loaded with those
trumpery fiouuces, and disfgured BY
that aboninable cap" As the former
part of my speech had rather concilat
ed Mrs. Homebred, she replied in a
softened tene, cannot conceive, my
dear, why you should dislike my cor
nefFe it is universally admired"--
I hat may be, (cried y but protest
can see but one use il could ever be 10.
tended for, and that is TO decorate the
head Of a hoissarde az the feet OF the
goddess of reason"
This uDlucsy speech kindled my
1yife's wrath 10 such decree that az