Virginia Argus. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1796-1816, 1814-01-26

to me equally incomprehensble--not that
must say that in my dream, thought that the
whole OF fashionable life from end to end, wa.
one continued and enormous quis.
While ia this band box citadel, methought
farther remarked, that the commander OF the
fort, ,who by the way was woman) was con-
tinually surrounded by her proper officers, such
as mIlliners, mantua. makers, mems MERGERS,
and tayiors, with their instruments Of trade, as
insignia OF Office and that very Frequently
messengers were dispatched to court for orders
and instructions; upon whose return there was
always vast agitation inthe camp. All the of.
hcers at once were busy in giving ordersi and
suddenly, AZ u by magic, transformation was
made IN the appearance of every man, woman,
and child in the fort. On one day. for instance,
you might see all the ladies with long waists,
short necks, and high head dresses, and the
gentlemen with coats and indispensibles hang
ing about them like bags. On the next, tue
tAiiies dresses would be- all trail, their bodies
all neck, and their hair crisped, and curIed a
Ia mode de 1friea, while the gentlemen would
appear rs though by. some mechanical power
hey had been pressed into their tight clothing
and what was very remarkable, every change
was the most elegant in the world.
Fashion, tho't was arbitrary, & inexoivble in
the exercise OF power, and sometimes extremely
cruel in her measures. remember partisu.
larly, that l saw in my dream, a machine called n
lady's Indispensable What roof this to be
when first heard the name, will not
say; but Twill confess that, when I first saw
the thing, I'nistook it ESQ simple was y for AN
instrument of torture, to silbdue into complete
submission any who might be disposed to rebel
AGAINST the edicts ot the court. A description
of the machine is Unnecessary The use of it
is to compress the body into the smallest posi-,
bic dimensions Of elegance, and del;cacy. The
higher powers had no sooner enacted that every
female votary eff fashion, should reckon this an
indispensable, than the whole tribe !, 6 fashiona
bic ladies were seen screwed up, a. have read
of poor heretics in the Dungeons Of the inqul-
sitionto compel them TO believe that brown
loaf was a shoulder of mutton" And here
was amazed beyond measure, a, the absolute,
and extensive power of fashion; inasm,ct as
her female votaries were brought to believe,
and most solemniy to declare, that, when the
bones of the thorax were so compressed as to
pfeyeot the play of the lungs, and endanger
suffocation, then alone lady was perfectly at
ease that when the body was compresse d
until it felt like ahickory post, it then alone
was susceptible of elegant motions that when
the force appIied was such as to produce livid
spots, and bruises on the surface, there was no
pain and that when a lady tainted through the
tightness OF her screw, she was then perfectly
we'll.
The amusements of the people where was.
appeared as remarkable as any thing i'm relation
to them. at the bidding of fashion, they would
rush together into a room in vast crowds, el.
bowling and pushing, and sweating until the
powers Of lJcoinat on Were stisls.nded and the
squerzs was, as would judge, utterly lntoiera
bic. They would then separate, and in little
while rush together again, and perhaps squeeze
harder than ever. Tins appeared TO NE tenn
porary madness, but the people called it de-
igitful-Again, they would often meet sbout
nine o'clock might, and dance until one or TWO
o'clock in the morning, and then trudge home
thro' rain, mud, and darkness, worn down with
Gstigue, and exhausted tor want of sleep. and
this was most elegant.
In short time, however. this would
give place to the amusement of shutting.
and throwing down pieces of party colout-
ed paste beard. And, as was pretended,
this was pursued night after night, until the
dawn of day, pxreiy for Me sake Of passing a,uay
time could not however, avoid suspecting
that more was in this thing than met the ear"
could not perceive how mere amusement
could excite such strong passions, as I some
times saw indicated and Notwithstanding all
that was protested, was constrained TO believe
that in this pursuit, there was as much love OF
dishonest gin, as of pleasure.
1t could not escape my notice, that fashion
intermeddied with every thing, and descended
To all ranks to seek for yttaries. | saw in my
dream that even children were not free trout
her influence, and that there were parties Of
school boys, K school girls, as we'll of grown
persons. But nethought, in the midst OF these
things, nature would sometimes break out, and
the violent propt nsity which school children
have 20 sz1eef things, would show itself in way
FL Il, II
ly saw squeeses Of children, and parties where
the Oldest were too young to put off the back
string and the bibb; but even among Negroes
aud Mulattoes,I beheid marvellous mimicry
of fashionable life. And verify thought that
Harry, and Richard, and Tom, Peggy, & Dolly,
and Ursula, squeezed, and elbowed, and push
ed, as elegantly, and delightfully."- as the very
prime ministers oflady fashion herself. -
While was observing all these things with
that surprizc which novelty creates, noticed
on the brow Of the hill whereon the Citadel of
Fashion is erected, avery large building, which
understood was the Town HALL Upon enter.
ing, observed great company Of men sitting
as in public council. And here, heard some
very grave and learned discourses, as well a.
very much idle talk. While ever and anon, one
who sat in high chair, arose. and said, "Gen-
"tlemen! You that are OF such an opinion, say,
{" .9ye-And you that are of a contrary opinion,
"say,esNo." And methoughi, observed, that
the idle talk of vain and inexperienced men,
had much greater effect than the wise dscour
ses Of tie learned. ! also took notice, that
many OF those who were sent to the hall to de-
Hibernate about the important concerns Of the
community, had very red eyes, and very sleepy
counienances, as tho concern for the interests
committed to them had deprived them Of need,
fol repose. While WAS musing on these
things, lodged and saw person, in ono of
tie lesser rooms OF the great building, very
busily engaged in trimming and shaping pieces
OF manuscript, whichwerc called Liiis, accor.
ding TO her own liking. took notice, that it
mattered not Of what form these bills were,