Virginia Argus. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1796-1816, 1813-06-28

Ono! let peace, with angel mein,
: Return and spread her blessings round
And DER our happy lard be seen,
The olive branch, with plenty crown'd.
..,=.s- -.zs =,a-E--.
From the Gleaner1
FRoM TIE Desk or PcoR RoEERT 4Hs
ScRIBE.
Kind words may reconcile foe,
But cross ones never will trow
n sarcasm on a cutting joke,
Hath many bond Of friendship broke;
But never yet a friend hath made
Since Eve reposed in Edem's shade
I'lien never joke man or quiz him,
For tea to one you'll much displease Kim.
Ensign Oliver Caastic was man, noted
through ali Arplebury for his jokes and
scarcasms many of which were much more
remarkable for their severity than their wit.
He used often to say" Never spoil joke
for relations sake" and indeed, he let no
opportunity slip to say what he considered
smart thing, or to tell an applicable story
--Ons morning, having been down to his
Uncle Aarou's to get his shoe mended, / re.
turned up street with him: and long shall l
remember the tartneSs with which he accos-
ted every one he saw--Meeting Edward
Easy. who had been down TO the pond for
ducks and fortunately had got fine brace,
"Well done, Ned, said he, quioe successful
this morning." n .fooiJor ilck" they say.
"A focl,' muttcred Edward, Colouring, and
passed on.
The next man we met was capt. Haw-
thorn, who told us on enquiry, that sie had
been up to ask the Squire's advice about
buying the Oak tree lot, for, said he, neigh.
Dor Saust'c. . tzvo heads are better Than one. .
"Aye, aye" cried CauSiic, "though theU
are Sheets he0dSspI,S' Sheets heads, % grum
bled Hawthorn, ahc turned away abruptly.
Coming by major Spssdwell's a fine horse
that had just bf9ksstds leg, lay at his door,
Now the Majorywig pretty clever fellow.
but jockied ia little noS' and then but that
is so compton 7s not to be much Minded
"Heigh !heigh said Caustic, bad lack. ha |!
WeA! Svhat tonnes over the devR'S rack nil
go 'i7iaer lis belly, you know" 'DevnS bel
iy,' SAID Speedwell, and on we went.
We pretty soon came to where sergeant
Peter FurrCw was planting potatoes in hills.
why don't you plant 'em in rows ?" asked
ensign Oliver, they'll yield third more
and be vastly easier tended" Sch SAYS
Peter, know how 10 raise potatoes " Ave.
aye" cried Oliver, " ii foot is 7uiser in Ills
o7vn coRctH than SeUct men hQf can render
a reason" =" Humph" cried the sergeant
and we marched on.
Passing Mr. Bakswell's who should come
to the door but her ladyshp, with cburn
as white as milk. Good morning. Mrs
Bakewell,' said the ensign, you We been
ohurning this morning suppose. " Yes .ssr,"
replied She: Wei! added the ensign every
body praises your butter as the best in the
whole town. am glad it is thought well
OF said she. c"lhd not help thinking
~,I IaI el,x g, I, II
and siUts make the beet 6Httcr but no of
fence hope, Mrs. Blackwell Redeemed
WIKI modification and anger. Indeed there
wasn't one in the whole no .,shborhood
but what felt some how uneasy always
whilst Mr.. Caustic was in company.
I, 1t was not long after that | was down town
in very muddy weather the ensign Oliyerin
driving home load Of hay upset his cart in
a mud hole, and The OF sieer choaked to
death before lie could get him loose In
great need of help who should come along
but Edward Easy -" so So" said Ned.
tauntingly, "AJoof Jor luck, ensign !" and
on he went.
Bye and bye up came captain Hawthorn,
"neighbOr Hawthorn" said Caastic, in "a most
piteous tone, | beg you to help me con
trive to get out Of this terrible mud hole
&" So there, Enslgn," said he jeeringlY, you
seem TO thlnk III . hcddS are better than one
Dfhty be sheeh's heads, and passed on.
Presently major Speedwell came pranc>
ing by oh his fine pacing flly--BruHette
'Well neighbor Oliver said he as he spat
tered by" your saying see is verified
MAT comes oVer tie DeviPs back goes I'M
der his belly" The ensign bit his lips.
Asluck would have it, the next that came
by was Peter Furrow. How is this. En-
sign" said he, " hy.tid'ntyou go round by
the parsons il ISN'T half SO muddy and only
90 rods further. | thought-replied Oliver
You know what thought did, interrupted
Furruw-" n fool is sviser in his o7On conceit
fhan seUen men 7Vho can render reason"
and on he passed
These men never forgot, even If they
forgavc poor L austic, to the day of their
death.
How different as it with squire Aimwell
He never made use of an expression that
could mortiiy the sensibilty of any one. He
would not wound the feelings OF child. Every |
body liked TO see him come, for he had the !
true art ofpleasing,t TO make every body plea- |
sed with themselves. Was any one in trouble |