Virginia Argus. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1796-1816, 1813-02-15
ANOTHER TORY.
FoR THE AReus.

Mr.. Plcasdat.,
am, as no doubt your readers will perceive,
4 country fellow, very ignorant as to MANY very
weIghty matters. But yet very willing to OBJ
tam information. On one particular subject
! am very anxious TO be instructed, and yet |
do not Know exactly ah1w to accomplish ms
purpose. The case is this, Mr. Printer When
return home, my wife and daughters will, by
humoerless interrogatories extract from me e.
very particular respecting the fashions and
ahuSemcnts OF the metropolis that may have
CLEANED during my stay in town. / make it
my business, as my wife is very good sort of
woman, to do every thing in nv power to graz
lfy her inclination to learn how the world
goes" as she terms it. And really have been
ahle to make pretty considerable collection
since have been here Enough, ( think. to
convince the old lady that the world is going,
~ hoDeTt Burns says, -" Topsaltarie-o." But
there rs one particular on which am totally at
loss; and yet It is very important matter.
heard OF hardly any ding else, until the re
ported INVASION OF y rfolk, and the rumour of
bonaparte' 5 death arrested the att, ntion ofthe
WORLD and gave different tone to CONVEX
sat'on. But least should occupy the columns Of
your paper to ton great an extent, / will ri once
state the weighty matter on which 1 wish in
formation with very great conciseness. Mr.
Pieas2nts, enireat you, tell me and Your coun.
try customers generally what is SQUEEZE /!
Noiwithstanding all that have heard on this
matter (and have heard much) am perfectly
at loss to c0nject Ayhat it can be- In one
thihg am yegy cieSB that the people Of the
place ke 1t very well, whatever il is : and vet
trOm the received meaning Ofthe term Sqneese,
should tbiak it no very pleasant affair. You
would smile, SIR, were / 70 detail all the con
lectures that have formed on this subject
Sometimes it has occurred to me that It might
be mechan cal engine OF very great force on
some novel construction, which Cike Mr. Red
Heaters perpetual mo ion-machiue) was run
nlng tie good people Of Richmond crazy But
several things that heard were so inconsistent
with this superstition, that / vas Obliged to
drop u, and take up with another, aad another,
lost was in the boundlcs mazes of conf lecture
The thing tha' of all others most satisfied my
mhid was tiis. AS Hay meditating one nightvery
profoundly on the ma ure and possible qualities
of a sqWeesC It suddenly occurred to my mind
that when was little boy an overseer Of my
fathers was accustomed every Saturday night
To go 20 Tie house Of poor neighbour as he
sad to s7aeesc the giyis," that is, as he, ~
his Vulgar W y, explained it to me, " 20 hag
them" 4his then, says to myself, is the We
r. tang. Crowds Of people, according to
previous understanding on tie subject, assem-
bic, OF th, one sex to squeeze, and OF the other
TO he s7reeeed The only important difficulty
on this superstition is, that understand ladies
Of almost al ages, maids, widows and wives go
70 che s7Reeze. Bat : really do not know, con-
siiering all the phenomena Of the sex, whether
this is an objection to the hypothesis Or not.
" am wrong Mr. p. set me right, or At least
TOR the sake Of Kind husbands like mysef)
tell tue public, where the thing is 10 be seen.
Your friend as you behave,