Alexandria daily gazette, commercial & political. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1808-1812, 1809-04-19


point the seasons most proper Tor eating
oysters--inquire into the economy Ct ts-
verns, the characters Of pubiicans, and the
abilities OF their cooks, and discuss most
learnedly the merits Of bowl OF soup,
chicken pic, or a haunch. of yenison ma
word, the alderman has absolute coniroil IN
all matters of eating, and supermtends the
whole police--of the belly. Having III the
prosecution of their Important Office signal
ised themselves at so many public festivals
having gorged SO often on patriotism and
pudding, and entombed SO many great
names in their extensive maws, thou wilt
easily conceive that they wax portly apace,
that they tatten on the fame Of mighty men,
and that their rotundity, like the rivers, the
lakes and the mountains Of their country,
must be o,.. q .sYcat scale. Even SO, my
friend and when / sometimes see poftly
alderman putting along. and swelling as II
he had the world under his Wa1stcoat,L
| cannot help looking upon hun as a walking
monument, and am often ready TO excsaIm
---.s Tell me- thou majestic mortal, thou
breathing catacomb TO whose ll.ustrlous
character, what mighty event, DOGS that ca
pacious carcass OF thine, bear testimony :" &
But though the enlightened citizens a
this logocracy eat IN honor OF their friends,
vet they drink destruction to thelr@enenaless.
Yea Assem-, wo unto those who are doomed
to undergo the public vengeance, at ptla--.
l;c dinner. > II o sooner are the vMhGs re-
moved, than they prepare for merc;less az.
discriminating hostilities. They di,iAk tae
Intoxicating JUICE OF the grape teatsot LITTLE
glass cups, and overesch draaght pronounce
short scntence,or prayey--not such praYeI
as thytyirtuous heart would ,dictate, thJF Pr
Gus bps give utterance TO, nay good Assem-
no! a. tribute Of thanks to all bountliai
Allan, nor h,,mbie. snpplication for .h!s
blessing on the draught--ao ny friend, u
is merely toasr, that is to saga iuisome.
tribute OF iIatlery TO their denaGo saes---a
labored sally otaHected sentiment OF pation-
al egotisln !; Or what is more despIcabie, Z
male1ict;ou OH their enemies, al empty
threat OF vengeance, or Z, petition ior tiicir
destruction Tor toasts, thou mtssE know,
are another kind OF mIssive weapon III q 10
eecracY, and are levcllcd from :!ar. tlke The
ANNOYING arrows 81 tie imiars.
. Oh Assem- !scouidst thou but witness one
oi these patriotic, these monuinental dinners
how f.riolisly the fame OF patriotism
blaz7s foreh-how suddenly they vanquisil
armies, s,'5]ugate whole countries, and e1-.
terminate nations in a bumper, thoN wouldst
more than ever admire the force that on.
nipotent weapon the tongue. At these mo-
ments every coward becomes ailero, every
rag9amufa an nvincikie warrior and The
most Jealous votaries Of peace and qu.tt
forget for while theix cherished maAms,
and join in the furioas attack. Toast sue
ceeds toast-kings, emperors, bash:sEs, are
Ike chat before the tempest; the inspired
patriot vancuishrs fleets with a single gun
boat, and swallows down ilaviesata diauSAt,
until, everpowergd with victory and wins,
hesinksupon field OF ,battie-deael druna.
IL his counry's cause. Sword OF the puis-s
saint .Khalid what a display Of valor is
here the sons Of Atrlc are hardy, brave
and ente-Prisias, but they can achie,,e no.
thing like this.
Happy would It be ifthis mania for toast
ing extended no further tl4an TO the expires
sion Of rational resentment. Though we
might smile at the impotcnt vaporing and
windy. hyperbole>by which it is distinguish
ed, yet We would excuse it as the up gHard-
ed overaowings Of heart glowing with na-
,ional injuries, and Indignant at the insaIts
offered to its country. But alas my friend,
private resentment, individual hatred, and
the illibsral spirit of party are let loose on
these festive occasions. Even the names OF
individuals, of unohending fellow citizens,
are sometimes dragged forth, to undergo
the SANDERS and excavations Of dis,emper-