Portland gazette and Maine advertiser., 1808-11-07
FROM THE UNITED STATES GAZETTE.

tons,
FROM THE UNITED STATES GAZETTE.
Mr. BsONsos,
AFTER much thinking and turning over
the case in my mind, l,have ut last conctu-
ded, that would apply to you to solve
difhculty which has puzzled me not little.
Now, sur, you must have patience with me,
Tor 1T don't tell my story my own way.
why / cant tell it at ALL You must know
then that my wife Bridget Is very mana
ging' good sort of a house-keeper, and very
punctuai in providing my meals at stated
periods for instance, we breakfast al eight,
dine at one, sup at seven O'Clock, ana go to
bed at nine. My Wife has been much il.
debted tor this extreme punctuality to the
friendly information Of an old family clock,
which formerly belonged TO her father, and
which had the reputation Of always telling
the truth. Now, sir, came home the 9TH
CT day precisely at one, expecting 70 frd
hot dinner smoking on the table but had
no sooner entered the house than Bridget
Immediately few at mel wonder, said
she, Mr.. Puzzle, how YOU could serve me
SO. How serve you J said I. Why, said
she, the dinner has been waiting for you
more than half an hour, and the pudding is
entirely ruined. Half an hour, said /, look
ing at my watch, why its exactly one
One said she, what do you mean you
have done this on purpose to insult me, and
you're cruel, hard hearted, unfeelIng man,
and won't bear il any longer. The more
I eudeayoured to apPease my wife, the
louder she Dvrame--at iast discreet neigh
bour stepped in, who, after hearing both
sides, dehcately told my wife he was ap.
prehensive the clock was out of order, for
that it was actually but Few minutes past
one. AT this my wife became more violent
than ever, & declared that he was leagued
with me to i'll treat and abuse her, ana that
she would insist on separate maintenance.
The storm was toe violent to last long, and
just as it abated our neighbour perceived
Mr.. Parker, the watch-rnaker,passing BY &
instantly begged the favor Of him to w4lk in.
The dispute was left 10 him, and lie deci-
ded that our clock was too fast and wanted
regulating would directly have request.
ed Mr.. Parker to regulate 1t for me-but
my wife seeming displeased with his deci
sion, thought it best to let the matter
drop for the present.--Now, must do my
wife the justice 10 say, that the day follow
ing she was very sorry for her late violent
behaviour, and promised, that, if zuoKLa
never contradict her, she would never again
get into passion, and proposed to send for
Mr.. b. the French clock-maker, to regulate
the family clock. ! would most willingly
have spoken word in favour Of Mr.. Par
ker, but as had just promised not TO con-
tradict my wife, thought i. best to let her
have her own way. Well, sir, Mr.. B. the
Frenchmsn, was sent for, and anticipated
the agreeable return of hot dinners punctua
allv served up. But when came home, on
| looking at the clock, found it had stopped.
Bridget, my dear, said !, did you send for
the cIockmaker (! Yes, said she. Well
and what did he say. Why, he said he
would regulate It, and thosght he did 50.
Dinah, said to tile girl, run to Mr.. g. the
French clock-maker, aud tell him our clock
has stopped. She returned with message
from Mr. B. that lie regulated il this morning.
So / went to Mr.. u. myself Sir, said /,
/ my wife sent for YOU to regulate my clock,
and you have stopped it. l did SO. sir, re-
Piled he, for although do not understand
much of the English language. yet hose
| who ought to know it much better th2n you
or |, have determined hat to regulate, is
70 s.o6 ,,lstisa Well thinks this French
man is a philosopher, and he understands
great many things that common people
know nothing about, / will 60 home fore
| venture an opinion, aud LOOK in the Die
tionary. Bridget, my love, said I, that
pudding OF yours was, think, the best
ever eat in my life, don't believe, conlinu-
ed I. that any woman in Philadelphia, eau
make so many different kinds OF puddings
as yourself, OF make them SO well--dont
| you remember seeing a book they call .
| die, onary lying some Hhoqsa about the house
IL wish you could hnd it for me my dear