Alexandria daily gazette, commercial & political. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1808-1812, 1808-07-19

seize a neighboring country BY acouSs
main. AT what distance is the place to
seized? About 200 miles. How longt
it take them to strike this coup de mai
Something less than three months A ca
de main with a vengeance! . Tobt!
Z CIPHER! Pass, SIC.
Tobit'. dogis now left with the bags,
and heavy ordnance in the rear. And
now the baggage and the ordnance and ID
pher fpoor fellow sticking in the mud.
wonder you see Tobit and his army in mo- i
on. Has he heard that his baggage andS
poor dog CIPHER are stuck fast IN the mud
Yes he has & on that very account, Taste
forward night and day. What can he
without his ordnance And what can he
without his poor dog CIPHER? As to ey
pher, he cares nothing about him. And
to ordnance !; he can by sending his COMP
ments to the enemy, borrow a few pieces
cannon till his own arrives and all this
done accordingly. The enemy you see lend
their cannon freely the campaign end
without a fight; and poor CIPHER arriraI
just time enough to see how finely Tobit FL !
ed off the borrowed cannon, With blank car
triges to the honor of his country and heE
arms. *-Vivat. Pass, sc.
See now the proconsul restored to human
shape, of multaarious nature. His headhsI
head of judge, his hand the hand ola legs I
lator, and lower extrenities representing exl
ecutive stability and the Fundamental princtE
pie Of government. 7ria iu7acta IN uno!I
Wonderful malgannation OF rare talents =
Letus call court. The procorsal is about
to administer Justice. Oh yez! oh yez
ohyez &c. &c. &c. The court YOU se.|
is open. His excellency in a robe de csaayna
which, during its sublunary existence, thai
is to say, upwards Of three long yeas, has
never yet been polluted by tie filthy hand Of
the washer. See the great man unshorn al
least for week: men of great talents ne.
glcct these trivial matters. His feet Sip
sllod in about three quarters of couple Of
odd old shoes-h;s toes you observe magni.
fcentiy displaying their ebony tints through
yen perforated socks, SO gracefully dangling
about his heels His uncombed locks orna.
mented with the fragments Of testhers-,o
shew that on weighty affairs he consults his
pillow. Silence. Let's hear the cause. Al
gave B. money to keep. BIS house was By
accident burnt down and the money lost
A sues 3 for the money, and B defsndshc
suit. Hear now the second Daniel thAMAA
risen in Judgment between A and B. "H
is liable to A and therefore shall pay him
hat the MONEY because the zul0le 1pas les'
in the fire. 3 is accordingly liable and he
is not liable to A; and as A is entitled to
have from B the money that was lost in tn.
fire, he shall on that account have judginen.
only for the half of what he is entitled to- y
Observe with what dignity the sapient judge
orders his decree to be recorded. Where IS
the record? Betweenvourselves, where.
But the courts adjourned. Pass, Sc.
See our proconsul now in his military
character. What a hat /! what a plume
what epaulets what dirty shirt! wba: a
sash and sword what waistcoat, breeches
and facings all spotted with grease BY
platoons-forward march--to the right
wheel-to the left-march-ta care Of til:
oid woman's apple cart-halt--prime and
load--ready--take aim and fret" Zound'
what vapouring the general makes how
he MARCHES and countermarches .---Bu
where are his troops? All at home, all a
home, gentlemen and lsdies, minoing then
own business. Then what is all this fus;
for? To put into the papers and write
letter to the king about it. The army il
disbanded. Pass, sc.
What does this mean! Surely the rrc'
consul has not turned constable Yes \:
has. A noble lord of a foreign kingdom,
thinking ne would make better proconsI
tllan our hero, marched his troops throusi
the streets, and pat sentry at his own door
Thinking also he would make better Judge