Alexandria daily advertiser. [volume] (Alexandria [Va.]) 1803-1808, 1808-04-15
[Wash Fea]
R.o2a TIE LsuerhooI Coiran:.
THE NEWSPAPER.

THE NEWSPAPER.
g This folio of four pages, happy WORK
Which not cen critics criticise, that holds
lnonisitive attention while read
Fast bound in chains Of silence, which the fair,
Tho eloquent themselves, yet fear to break,
What is it but a map Of busy life,
lis fluctuations and Its vast concerns
IT'S pleasant thro' the loop-ho!es ofrctreat
To peep at such a world, To see the SUR
OF the great Babel, and not feel the croud.
a Newspaper is so true mark Of the ca
price and leyity OF Englishmen, that it may
Is; ;i SLED their coat Of arms. The Turkish
Koran Is not has 50 sacred to rigid Maho-
metagl--a parish dinner 10 an styri surs
tie feast to an alderman--or an election to a
Freebooter, as Gazette is to an English qriid
npnc. If this informs him Of naval arlna--
nent, he toasts the adlnirals in half pats a
piece, wishes them success, gets drunk with
Loyalty, and goes with his head full Of seventy
tours, sixty fours, fngates, transports, and
fire ships.--Buta Newspaper whose contents
are not sanctioned by authority, is necessarily
SO much the moe the receptacle OF Invention
thence We heart is saba correspondent
rcnaFks-whereas, &c. al! serve to please,
surprize, and inform. NE hear can alter
mans face. as the weather would bareme-
te, 1t is sid can distort another like lit OF
the spasm. IF can make some cry, while
aHhhoSe maxi s Others laugh; while a yvAersas
IS like an electrical shock /; and though it CT
ten runs to the extremity Of the kingdom, In
unison with the rest, they altogether form a
very agreeable mixture. But particular and
domestic occurrences form a very essential
part o. this folly. Thus marriage hurts an
old maid, mortiGes young one, While it con-
soles many poor detected husband, who Is
secretly pleased to find another is fallen into
his case. a death, If a wife, makes nus
bands eavy tie widower while, perhaps,
some OF the women who eansure his want Of
decent sorrow, marry him a month after -
In hne, every person is put lii motion by a
Newspaper. 1t is a bill Of fare, containing
ali the Injuries, as well as necessaries OF lie.
Politics, FOR instance, are the roast beef of the
times--essays the PLUMB pudding, and poetry
the filters, CONNECTIONS, custards, and all the
ct cetoyu of the table, usually denominated
trihcs. Yet the four winds are not liable to
more nutatiEty than the vehicles ofthese en-
tertainments for instance, en- Monday 1t Is
Whispered--on Tuesday 1t is rumored-on
"Wednesday it is conjectnred-on Thursday
ii is prcbable--on Friday 1t Is positively as
serted--and on Saturday it is premature -
! misunderstanding this, some how or other
! all arc eventually pleased for, as the affec-
| tons of all are divided among wit, anecdote,
poetry, prices of stocks, the arrival OF ships,
! &c. A Newspaper is repository where eve
ry one has his hobby horse; without it, coffee
houses, sc. would be depopulated, and the
/ country squire, the curate, the exciseman and
! the barber, and many others would lose those
golden opportunities OF appearing SC very
! wise as they often do.
From RepS LONDON WeeklY Messenger,