The gazette. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1798-1799, 1798-04-23
THE COLLECTION.
4HINs or sHREDt AND YA1cEEs."


M. gENKs,
YOU have 70 RATED my Ire, that I can
fcarcely write. How dare you print 70 much
about US old maids, and intimate a tax upon
Us 4: Are we TO be fPorted with ?-But had
almof forgotten, in my panion, thar you gave
us an invitation to avenge ourfelves on the old
bachelors. This fhal be done and for my
part, will handle the pen with as much sex-
terity as Don Quixote uied to WELD his fpear
in defence Of his imaginary fair. Leave me a
little fPaee in your next Calsaiaa, as ihal GER
tainlY write lomethng fevere.
DOROTHY SINGLE.
Mr.. IExKs,
Your paper has fet all the old maids and
bachelors in our village, by the ears. What
demon could PoGeis you thus to difurb our re
Pofe Such is the confufon, that nothing fhort
Of general marriage will put Us in order a
gain for the oppofte fex are 70 powerful that
unlefs we comply, We mutt absolutely defert
our habitations. A few evenings Gnce, was
attacked by three, and obliged to promile mar
rage. This is calamity greater than taxes.
hope you viii not touch uPon fuch dangerous
fuhjeas again. What will be the refulE, the
wilcf amongf US cannot predia.
Yours. &c. SIMON G|Hss&.
MAkRIAcs.-The Philosopher Diogenes faid,
with fmile, if you are young, my friend, Il is
too ioon for you to marry, becaufc Liberty is
the frlt, fweeteR, and greatelf of goods and
he NUT be blockhead indeed who deprives
himlslf Of this bleEng in the bloHom Of his
days. If, on the cc~t-ary, you are old, it is
too late fer you 70 1aarry. Alas what will
you do with wife What folly is it to add
weight TO that edihce which is already tumhling
To ruin; take my advice friend neither marry
nor let it alone. Remain in fufPencc at leaa till
tomorrow, and death will (ettle the matter.
Cow MfRcHASr.-As Henry Nv of France,
was Paqing near the Thuilleiies with his whole
court, be met woman driving COW. What
will you take for your COW, gofTip" faid the
king, in f:rious tone. She told h m the price
You ak me too much (faid he) fle is not
worth that mo but you don't underitand
thefe matters, my good fir (faid the woman)
you are not cow-merchant.-' You are miHa
ken, goody (rePlied the king) don't you fee all
theie eafv:s that are following me !?
MEMoRY.-Mifs Addition, in her youthful
days, was blef with mott capaoious memory,
and poaeHed the faculty Of retention to mot
atoniihing degree.--It is aferted, and is well
att@lted, that the'whole contents Of a Newspaper
have been read to he-, and the would immed
ately repeat literally the whole Of the paper By
rote, without any afTifance.-Iti is ALTO well
atteited fact, that ihe could repeat the ieveral
volumes OF the Spectator By rote, without any
aiiHance.
ISDoLENcE.-No Gifpoftion or turn Of mind
70 totally uahts man for all the (ocial Offices
Of life as incidence. An idle man is a mere
blank III the creation; he feems made for no
end, and lives to no Purpole. He cannot
engage himlelf in any employment or profeE.
ion, bec4ufe he viii never have diligence e
nough to follow it I; he can lucceed in no under
taking, for he will never Purfle it be mutt be
bad huibAnd, father, and relation. for he will
not take the Leaf pains to Prelerve his wife.
children, and family from carving and b
mutt be WORTHLESS friend, for he would not
draw his band from bis bof,m, tho 10 prevent
the deltrUetion at IL sn,v-rf.s