TV Offal

TV Offalis a British satirical comedy sketch/archive television series that ran onChannel 4from 31 October 1997 to 26 June 1998. It was written and narrated by comedian and writerVictor Lewis-Smith, who shared writing duties with Paul Sparks. It ran for seven episodes (including the pilot), and is probably best known for first airing theuncensored Rainbow sketchon national television, as well as the "Gay Daleks" sketches.
The series covered generally obscure, rare or offensive excerpts of television footage from numerous media archives, usually accompanied by Lewis-Smith's biting commentary and cynical approach to what was being shown. Lewis-Smith used a variety of categories on the show to accompany a particular selection of programme footage. The show was also characterised by its musical score of campyjinglesintroducing the regular segments. These were produced in the 1980s style by theDallas-based radio ID companyJAM Creative Productions.
The programme was made byAssociated-Rediffusion, the name of a TV company formerly serving the London area from 1955 to 1964 (and continuing asRediffusion Londonuntil 1968). Lewis-Smith bought the name for his own production company when he discovered that it was dormant.
TV Offal has never been fully repeated, although a "best of" series entitledTV Offal Prime Cutswas aired in November 1999.
The opening to each episode involved an imitated guest appearance from ProfessorStephen Hawking, who's often shown conversing with either Lewis-Smith or one of the gay Daleks (who's convinced he's reallyRobert T. Ironsideand so pesters Hawking for an autograph).
A satirical look at the death of either a current or generally obscure celebrity personality's "demise" followed by a satirical account of their contributions to the viewing public (which usually derails them) before revealing the exaggerated cause of death. The first few lines of the obituary are a list of very harsh criticisms, usually followed by "[his/her] critics were less kind". The deaths are usually announced using a piece of dubbed dialogue of the celebrity's name, mixing into BBC News footage of newsreader (Michael Buerk) saying "... who died today" in a bitter and traumatised manner. (From the news reports broadcast on the day thatPrincess Dianadied.) Obituaries includedNoel Edmonds,Andrew Lloyd Webber,Melvyn Bragg,Nigel Kennedy,Jeremy Clarkson,Vanessa Feltz,Two Fat LadiesandJeremy Beadle.
Usually involves Lewis-Smith imitating various musicians to interpret how they sound "to him", usually mocking them in the process.
This segment usually had two parts, with one part leading to the commercial breaks, challenging the viewer to depend on their memory to guess the outcome of a genuine assassination attempt aired on the show, and the second part resolving the outcome and whenever or not the victim survived or was killed ("did they live or are they worm food?"). Those featured wereInejiro AsanumaandLuis Donaldo Colosio(both killed),Park Chung-Hee(who survived but whose wifeYuk Young-soowas killed in the attempt),Imelda Marcos(who survived),John F. Kennedy(who was killed but whom Lewis-Smith said had survived in a fictitious "what really happened" segment) andPrince Charles(who survived but whom Lewis-Smith said was killed in an equally fictitious segment). In between the setting of the question and the reveal of the answer, viewers were usually treated to a bizarrely outdated television advertisement, such as an ad for theDaily Mirrorproduced in about 1960 (using the slogan "the Daily Mirror backs the young!" and ridiculing the "old guard" of British society) and an advert for the now discontinued Diocalm. The section was dropped from one episode whenTV Offalinstead used the original break titles from an episode ofThe Golden Shotduring a piece satirising the game show.
A piece mocking the most poor or shoddy lookingidentsused by television channels, as well as the most under budget and mismanaged of obscure television studios, produced by students or otherwise.
A "What If..." segment pondering aloud what certain celebrities would be doing if they chose a different action to affect the outcome of their productions, ranging fromRoy Walkercreating dirty versions ofCatchphrase(a commentary on the infamous "Snake Charmer" outtake) toRichard Bakerbeing drunk on theLast Night of the Proms("which of course...he wasn't" claimed a sarcastic Lewis-Smith whilst introducing the segment).
Rare and unaired pilots produced for possible series. Included such gems as "The Development of the Test Card", "Tubby the Tumour" and "It'll All End In Tiaras", a satire on monarchy. However, most of the programmes featured in this segment were not genuine pilots; the Test Card one was a self-produced video sold to Test Card enthusiasts, and both "Tubby the Tumour" and "It'll All End In Tiaras" were deliberate spoofs created for TV Offal by Victor Lewis-Smith.
A series of interactions between twoMichael Portilloobsessed, gayDaleks, travelling in a space/time machine called "The Turdis" (a play on theTARDISand "turd", a countable noun for a piece offaeces), during the sketches, the pair treat their relationship with an argumentative, tense approach which often is ridden with their addressing relationship problems, crude bickering, and finally becoming so turned on by their arguing, that they begin to orgasm, leading to a variation of the classic Dalek catchphrase "Exterminate", now "Exsperminate".  In the pilot episode, dubbed clips from the 1979 serialDestiny of the Dalekswere used.  A later attempt at reviving the Gay Daleks as an animated series was blocked by theTerry NationEstate.
Each episode would contain a song about a celebrity, with the exception of one song about 'Selling God'. "Its nice being [NAME]" The tune itself was always the same, but the lyrics were changed depending on the celebrity.  The song would always end with the line: "..but now we must stop as our lawyer says that [NAME] will sue".  Ironically one of the songs ("It's Nice BeingEsther") was edited on legal advice when included as part ofTV Offal Prime Cutsin 1999.  Celebrities targeted included Esther Rantzen,Sir David Attenborough,Dale Winton,Loyd Grossman,Carol Vorderman,Chris Evans, and 'Selling God' which featured a variety of 'has-been celebs'.
The show would close with Lewis-Smith prank calling a variety of people, such asHughie Green,Mary Whitehouseor the offices ofCarlton Television, with initial good graces, before becoming more and more rude as the conversation continued.
In November 1999,TV Offal Prime Cutswas broadcast. It ran for four episodes and contained a mix of sketches and features from the past series.
Collection of audio work:https://m.youtube.com/@associated-rediffusionprod4628/featured