Rate the following essay on its writing, argument, and language skills:
Dear state senator,

The electoral collage system has worked for many years however, citizens are starting to see through it. The system has lost control and citizens do not have control over their own country. It is unfair to voters, outdated, and the disaster factor is a perfect example going against it. Popular vote should be used in our modern society for a fair and clean vote, almost all citizens could agree on that.

The electoral collage voting system is an uncanny way for citizens to express how they want our countries future to go. They are voting for electors, not actual canidates. It isn't a straight forward vote- electors are the ones actually voting for canidates instead of the citizens. Since this is happening electors actually do not have to vote for who they're representing- Alas making the system very unfair and a cheat to people who live in our country. There is a winner-take-all system, which suggests that whoever is not elected is basically forgotten about amongst the people. They get nothing in return for all of their hard work, money, and time put into the election. Likewise, this system should not be used due to citizens being cheated out.

The electoral collage system of voting is outdated and old. The founding fathers created this system-making it a historical way to vote, but not the best way. Citizens through out the country are looking for popular vote, choosing it over electoral collage. The system may have work at an earlier date, but more and more people are coming into the world and they are looking for a bright future- knowing who theyre voting for is a start.

The 2000 disaster is a great example for us to switch to popular voting. As i said, electors technically do not have to vote for who they represent. So they went against the will of citizens. They made the choice to vote themselves. Basically, the electors control the entire vote and are the most important people in it-even though the citizens are supposed to control the vote. With that said, i'm sure you can see my concerns. Electors do not have to follow what the citizens are telling them.

The electoral collage voting system should be discarded and we should adopt popular vote. All citizens would agree on this choice. Including that electoral vote is unfair to citizens, outdated, and the disaster factor happened we should most definitely consider adopting a popular vote system and make our vots fair to citizens.

sincerely, Fletcher High school student

Score: 4