Rate the following argument fragment on its writing, argument, and language skills:
Concluding Statement: the decision of the principal, while beneficial to the students, shouild be slightly changed so that students who already partcipate in an extracurricular activity outside of school will not be required to take one provided by the school. Extracurricular activities are beneficial to students because they improve performance in the classroom, help them pursue higher education, and improve their physical and mental health overall. Students should be given every opportunity to succeed, but requiring every student to participate in a school-based extracurricular activity would not be fair to the students who do so outside of school. They may experience certain drawbacks as a result of the tremendous workload forced upon them, and this may also lead to weakened mental health. For this reason, the principal's decision should be changed such that it only applies to students who do not partcipate in extracurricular activites of any kind.

Score: 2