Entitled to Good Loving: Black Men and Women and the Battle for Love and Power
by By Chapman, Audrey B.
Category: Social Science , General

As a family and relationship therapist for fifteen years, Audrey Chapman has witnessed firsthand the battle that is raging between African-American men and women. Women are tired of bearing the burden, emotionally and economically, for the "ills" of the black community. Men feel dominated and overshadowed by these same women, and devise outrageous games of subterfuge to wrest control and mask their own vulnerability. Both feel bitter toward a society that thwarts the attainment of their goals while criticizing them for not doing better. The result: a vicious cycle of expectation and disappointment that poisons the ground for loving connections.In Entitled to Good Loving, Chapman explains that this struggle between partners in fact reflects an individual's internal conflict - one entailing control, emotional deprivation, the need for nurturance, and a sense of powerlessness - the roots of which can be traced to family structures and societal attitudes. Through numerous case studies featuring intimate revelations from both men and women, Chapman shows how a sense of "entitlement" - about how one's love partner should make up for one's past - can lead to unrealistic expectations and even destructive behavior.