Stay Away, Joe
by Dan Cushman
Category: Bull riders

Korean veteran, Big Joe Champlain drives back to the Montana reservation brandishing a Purple Heart and the scalp of a Chinese communist. Driving a Cadillac he has purchased from his winnings as a champion bull rider at Madison Square Garden, he arrives to find a huge party going on at his father's small ranch. His father, Louis Champlain, has just acquired 19 heifers and a young bull as part of a government program to benefit landless Indians. Louis, as a sign of his generosity, announces he will butcher a cow to feed the partygoers. But when the bull is butchered instead, Joe volunteers to secure another bull for Louis. Against the warnings of his wife, Louis consents to let Joe handle the matter with disastrous but hilarious results.