Newlyweds Guide to Sex on First Night
by By Smith, Richard
Category: Humor , Form , Parodies

The same painstaking research and statistical surveys that made Richard Smith's The Dieter's Guide to Weight Loss During Sex a #1 National Bestseller is applied to the questions of honeymooners the world over. Uncompromisingly honest positions are taken on such questions as: Can we do it all we want? Why are my parents here? Where's the mint on the bed? This essential guide allows couples to monitor their progress throughout the evening and into dawn. Charts tell how long everything will take, and at what point the bellhop should be asked to leave. Special sections address the concerns of the newly remarried and the irritation caused by the newlyweds next door, who at 9:30 are already ahead by three. A catalog of over-the-counter aphrodisiacs (oysters, green M&Ms) will resuscitate flagging will power. What's wrong with unlimited sex? Absolutely nothing, says Richard Smith. Anything's all right as long as no one gets hurt. 457,000 copies in print.