A Not so Beautiful Mind: The Memoirs of a Schizophrenic
by Nadine Murray
Category: Biography & Autobiography

Admitting I'm nuts would mean that the journey has not been real. Memoirs of a Schizophrenic Goddess begins with the murder of John Lennon. The superstar's spirit leads me to a book on science, ritual and religion called Tantrism. In the book I find pictures of a woman spinning in a circle. Finally there is a reason for the dance that I've been hiding in all of my life. According to the book I am a goddess, but the book is too difficult to understand, the science is too complex. To understand the journey I must read every book in the library. That's millions of books. Adding to my misery are the voices and the visions. Jesus and The Virgin are flesh and blood in my world, and devil-fighting rituals are a way of life. Exhausting my resources I search for help. No one wants to listen. I am encouraged to be quiet, not to let my "craziness" surface. That doesn't work for me because the journey is real.