A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Beirut
by Pat Stewart
Category: Sports & Recreation

It's hard to coach a team when your players don't show up. Mafi muscula. Hard to make air flights without reservations. Mafi muscula. Can't tape ankles without tape. Hey! Why isn't Darrin here from the States yet? Mafi Muscula. Can't understand these Hungarian menu forms...we could starve. Mafi muscula. We're almost out of tea. Muscula! In Arabic, mafi muscula means "no problem." But a better definition is probably: "no problem for ME, big problem for YOU." Saudi Arabia is where mafi musculas start, but they don't end there. From Saudi it's on to a training camp near Budapest then onward to Beruit for the basketball championships of the Eighth Pan Arab Games. Some funny things happen along the way. And there, too. These are recounted through the eyes of an American coach. They sometimes happen on the court., but more often off. Some are pretty peculiar and that's the kind of questions they raise. For example: —Was Bruce Springsteen born in Saudi Arabia? —Do you know how to properly kiss your players? —Why are Homer's underpants radioactive? —Is Martin as dead as he thinks? —Is Adel as dead as Coach tells his mom he is? —How to get a lunatic asylum airborne? —When must camels kill you? And more.