On the Way to over the Hill : A Guide to Aging Gracefully
by Deborah Berger
Category: Family & Relationships

Dear Reader: Every woman has stories to tell about her mother. The mother she has, the mother she wants, the mother she misses, the mother she didn't know. We carry our mothers with us. Sometimes we carry her in our hearts, in our heads-or on our backs. Sometimes we are connected to our mothers with the thick, strong cords of intertwined love and true acceptance; other times the bonds are stretched thin and taut, scratching against our consciousness, rubbing raw the sore spots in our souls. But we are always linked to our mothers: both to the dreams of the mothers we wish for and the realities of the mothers we have. Even if our mother has been gone for years-for decades-the relationship is still very much alive. Mom is still with us: offering advice, encouragement, criticism, appreciation, rejection, solace. What we daughters do with this ongoing commentary-whether we unknowingly incorporate it into our reality, or consciously and carefully review it, deciding what to keep and what to put away-is fundamental to how fully we lead our own lives. In Dear Mom: Women's Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing, you meet women who have stripped away pretenses, societal constraints, and basic fears to uncover and express their most private truths about their relationship with their mothers. You get to peer over the shoulders of the women, share in their laughter, and experience their struggles. You see how other women cast light on this most complicated, rewarding, and sometimes frustrating relationship. You witness women at different stages of their lives reflecting on the legacies their mothers (knowingly or unconsciously, but always powerfully) left them. You hear how other women experience the glories and the scars, the hurt and the healing that make up this most primal of connections. You also get to meet the women behind the letters, since each Dear Mom letter is followed by a profile of the contributor. You learn about the surprises, satisfactions, and challenges they faced in writing down their most private truths. The 25 Dear Mom contributors include women from a variety of backgrounds, careers, religions, and lifestyles. They include (present and former) teachers, business owners, homemakers, real estate agents, artists, secretaries, social workers, journalists, and government officials. Some are accomplished professionals, well-known in their fields and public figures in their communities. They are married, single, divorced, widowed. Many, though not all, are mothers themselves. Many contributors are baby boomers, in their 40s and 50s. Others are in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. (The oldest contributor is over 90; her conversation with her mother continues!)