Golf Shorts: 1,001 of Golfs Funniest One-Liners
by By Liebman, Glenn
Category: Sports & Recreation , Golf

"I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make."  -- Seve Ballesteros, explaining his four-putt on the 16th green at the 1986 Masters   "At 15 we put down my bag to hunt for a ball, found the ball, lost the bag."  -- Lee Trevino, at Royal Birkdale   "He told me he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, because he was a caddie."  -- Tommy Bolt, on Bill Clinton   "That's Jack Benny. He's always out there on bad days like that looking for golf balls."  -- Bing Crosby, after a skin diver emerged from the water at the 16th hole of the Crosby Pro-Am   "I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie. What could be better?"  -- Ray Floyd, on turning 50 and qualifying for the Senior Tour   "Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he has a divot over each ear."  -- David Feherty, on a John Daly haircut