You Know I Wouldnt Say This If I Didnt Love You: How to Defend Yourself Against Verbal Zaps and Zingers
by By James, Jennifer
Category: Literary Criticism , General

In her wittiest and most insightful book yet, best-selling author, commentator, and lecturer Jennifer James provides us with the tools we need to defend ourselves from-and laugh at-the absurd and harmful things we say to each other. She shows us the difference between "constructive" criticism and real encouragement, and tells how we can break the cycle of being critical of ourselves, our children, relatives, friends, colleagues, and strangers. She gives us a way to handle the relative who zaps us with a "that's a great looking dress, dear, too bad they didn't have your size." Or the co-worker who says, "I really admire your doing the kind of work you do. My pride would get in the way." Filled with nitty-gritty advice for both the giver and getter of criticism, James handily confronts the reality that we are part of a cultural tradition that constantly hands out verbal slugs to people. Her book helps us to develop the skills to evaluate and dispose of those critical remarks that can hurt us so unnecessarily, reminding us at all times that one of the best weapons against criticism is a sense of humor.