Swell-Wimp: Sexual Exercise as a Means of Reducing and Controlling Weight
by Perry Bathous, Clarissa Flanders
Category: Fiction

Overweight? Out of shape? Try Swell-Wimp—a revolutionary new program of sexual exercises designed to help you reduce and control your weight. No expensive equipment required. No strict diet. Swell-Wimp is simple, it’s natural and it’s fun! Sounds plausible, doesn’t it? Every form of exercise "burns" calories, so engaging in sexual exercise should work as well as any other type. Swell-Wimp is a humorous parody of exercise, diet and self-help books. With Swell-Wimp you maximize energy expenditure during sexual activity. How? Burn more calories during sex by vocalizing (sing, laugh, yell), exercising (sexual sit-ups, push-ups and dancing) and wearing more "clothes" (coats, weight belts, heavy shoes). Absurd? No, it’s all very logical.