Стенограммы/Дело в директоре

Дело в директоре

Предыдущая стенограмма
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Свирепая шестёрка |

Эпизод
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Дело в директоре |

Следующая стенограмма
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Клуб Горячего Очага |




- [chest opens]
**Twilight Sparkle**: Who can tell me what these are?**Sandbar**: Whoa...**Gallus**: Me likey...**Yona**: Shiny!**Smolder**: Treasure?**Ocellus**: Nope! They're all legendary magical artifacts!- [beat]
**Ocellus**: Heh-heh. I've read ahead in*Equestrian Cultures and Camaraderie: Volume Seven*.**Twilight Sparkle**: You're right, Ocellus. This is the Amulet of Aurora, the Talisman of Mirage, the Helm of Yksler, the Crown of Grover, Knuckerbocker's Shell, and Clover the Clever's Cloak.**Spike**: And the gems are real! Eh, not that I... tasted them.**Twilight Sparkle**: Princess Celestia gifted these to our school, since they each represent one of the cultures our students come from. And we'll learn all about them in a Spell-venger Hunt!- [beat]
**Smolder**: [aside, to Sandbar] Is that a pony thing?**Sandbar**: Eh.**Twilight Sparkle**: It's a magical scavenger hunt. Each of you will work in pairs to try to find where in the school these artifacts are hidden.**Spike**: The team that finds the most wins a private tour of the Canterlot Archives with Princess Celestia.**Twilight Sparkle**: [giggles]**Silverstream**: [excited squeal] Learning*and*fun?! Does it get any better than that?!**Gallus**: You've been underwater a long time, haven't you?**Twilight Sparkle**: Gallus and Silverstream, sounds like you're our first pair!**Students**: [gasp]**Twilight Sparkle**: What? They'll make a great team.- [cutie mark glowing]
**Yona**: Um, why pony glowing?

- [doors open]
**Twilight Sparkle**: Wait. You all were called on this friendship quest, too?**Fluttershy**: It must be a really important one.**Rarity**: And terribly far away.**Rainbow Dash**: Just getting there will take days!**Applejack**: Do y'all know what this means? There won't be any teachers left to run the school!**Mane Six except Applejack**: [gasp]

- [theme song]

**Fluttershy**: Should we send our students home?**Pinkie Pie**: I say we take 'em with us! Road trip!**Rarity**: In the middle of my friendship quilting class? I think not! All of those unfinished seams! [faints]**Applejack**: Problem is we don't even know how long we'll be gone.**Twilight Sparkle**: Don't worry, everypony. I already have a seventy-point plan in place for this very situation.

**Starlight Glimmer**: You want*me*to be headmare?!**Twilight Sparkle**: You're the*perfect*choice! You're a good leader and an expert in friendship. I trust you to run this school exactly as I would.**Starlight Glimmer**: Uh, that's a pretty big responsibility, Twilight.**Twilight Sparkle**: Which is why I've prepared everything you need.- [bell ringing]
- [door opens]
**Twilight Sparkle**: The curriculum, rules for the Spell-venger Hunt, dining hall menus for the next six months...**Spike**: Six*months*?! You're not*really*gonna be gone*that*long, are you?**Twilight Sparkle**: ...and Spike. Anything that isn't covered in my files, he'll be able to help you with.**Starlight Glimmer**: Then why not put*him*in charge?**Spike**: No-ho-ho, thanks. Eh, being a princess for Twilight was hard enough.**Starlight Glimmer**: I'm gonna pretend that made sense. But if you're sure it's what you really want, I promise I won't let you down.**Twilight Sparkle**: I*knew*I could count on you.- [door closes]
**Spike**: [yells]**Starlight Glimmer**: Great. What could possibly go wrong?

- [galloping]
**Spike**: Goodbye, Rarity! A-And everypony!**Starlight Glimmer**: Come back soon! Please!**Discord**: [blows nose]**Starlight Glimmer**: Huh?**Discord**: [through mock tears] I hate goodbyes, don't you? I just go to pieces.- [pop!]
**Starlight Glimmer**: Discord! What a... heh... nice surprise! This is your first time at our new school, isn't it?**Discord 1**: Oh, was I not invited to the grand opening?**Discord 2**: Friends and Family Day?**Discord 3**: Baccalaureate?**All three Discords**: I hadn't noticed.- [flash]
**Starlight Glimmer**: Well, at least you're here now. Um, why*are*you here now?**Discord**: To fill in for Twilight, of course, as head-draconequus. I seem to recall a whole song about how this school is where you make your own rules. Now, who better at that than me?**Spike**: Then you*also*must've heard Starlight is in charge now.**Discord**: Really? I thought there must be some mistake.- [flick]
**Starlight Glimmer**: Nope. Twilight picked me for the job. And she left pretty detailed instructions for me to follow.**Discord**: Well, I'm sure that she wouldn't mind a few tiny suggestions. [snaps fingers]- [flash]
**Discord**: [writing] "Item one – Gravity is optional."- [warbling]
**Starlight Glimmer**: Whoa-oa!**Discord**: "Item two – The school's new mascot is an ambidextrous marmoset."- [marmoset mascot squeaks]
**Discord**: "Item three—"**Starlight Glimmer**: Not gonna happen. I promised Twilight I'd handle this her way. So thanks, but no thanks.**Discord**: Reeeeeeally? Well, we'll see if you change your mind. [snaps fingers]- [flash]
- [splash]
**Spike**: Uh-oh. When we play*Ogres & Oubliettes*and he puts that many E's in "really", the things don't usually end well.**Starlight Glimmer**: Don't worry, Spike. Discord and I are old "save Equestria" buddies. He'll be fine. Now, what's next on Twilight's list?- [door opens]

**Spike**: Okay. I hid the artifacts for the Spell-venger Hunt and ordered school supplies for the week. All you have to worry about is teaching class.**Starlight Glimmer**: [sighs] Thanks, Spike. Maybe we*will*get through this okay.- [doors open]
- [peacocks call]
- [Castle Thunder]
- [typewriter clicking]
**Discord**: Come in, come in. You'll let the twittermites out. [munches]**Spike**: Twittermites?- [swarming]
**Spike**: Ow!- [splash]
**Starlight Glimmer**: Discord! What are you doing?!**Spike**: [gasps for air]**Discord**: Nopony was at your desk. Imagine what Twilight would say. [imitating Twilight] Oh, how could you, Starlight?! You've broken my trust and failed me completely! [normal voice] Oh, don't worry. I'll cover for you. By the way, I hope you like Limburger cheese. I got a month's supply for the teacher's lounge. [snaps fingers]- [flash]
- [crate opening]
**Spike**: [screams]- [squish!]
**Spike**: [sniffs, gags]**Starlight Glimmer**: [gags] We'll take it from here, Discord. Go relax. Have a cup of tea. At home.- [door stops]
**Discord**: Oh! Some thanks for all my help. And after I hired all those substitute teachers for you.- [splat]
**Spike**: Actually, that does sound kinda helpful. And it was next on our to-do list.**Starlight Glimmer**: Which teachers did you hire?

- [stomp]
**Iron Will**: They call it "making friends", because you have to*make*creatures be your friends! Show me what you've got, yak!**Yona**: [clears throat, quietly] Be my friend.**Iron Will**: If you're quiet, I don't buy it!**Yona**: [louder] Be my friend!**Iron Will**: I've heard pudding that's more convincing!**Yona**: [huffs, even louder]*Be! My! Friend!*- [zip!]
**Starlight Glimmer**: [quietly] That's not how Twilight teaches friendship.

**Cranky Doodle Donkey**: Some field trip! Where's my iced tea?! [sips, gulps, spits] This is too cold! [sips, gulps, spits] Now it's too hot!- [pours]
**Cranky Doodle Donkey**: [sips, gulps, spits] Now it's too tea-flavored!- [clatter]
**Cranky Doodle Donkey**: You call yourselves friends?!**Spike**: That is definitely not how Twilight teaches friendship.**Discord**: [sips]

**Starlight Glimmer**: You hired a*tree*as a teacher?!**Discord**: Its schedule was free.**Spike**: Uh, guys? That's not just*any*tree.**Smolder**: [sneezes]**Students**: [scream]**Spike**: [blows nose] It's a dragon-sneeze tree.**Smolder**: [sneezes]**Students**: [scream]**Starlight Glimmer**: W-W-W-Wait! Calm down, everycreature! It's gonna be okay!**Yona**: [yells]*BE MY FRIEEEEENNNND!***Discord**: Mmmm, my, my, my. You do seem like you're in over your head. Won't Twilight be so disappointed with how you're ruining—I mean,*running*her school?

**Students**: [screaming]**Starlight Glimmer**: Discord!**Discord**: [munching]**Starlight Glimmer**: This is all*your*fault!**Discord**:*Mine?*I thought*you*were in charge here. But I'm happy to pitch in if you need me.- [flash]
**Starlight Glimmer**: What I*need*is for you to leave!**Discord**: [snaps fingers]- [flash]
**Discord**: Happy now?**Spike**: Come on, Discord. You know that's not what she means.**Discord**: Fine! From now on, I won't try to help. At! All!**Starlight Glimmer**: [groans] Thanks, Spike. Let's just hope he stays gone.**Spike**: I wouldn't count on it. I think Discord's trying to test you.**Starlight Glimmer**: But why? I thought we were friends.**Spike**: Well, it's kinda what he does. Even to ponies or dragons he cares about.**Starlight Glimmer**: Oh, well, I'm ready for him. I told Twilight I'd run her school right, and I'm gonna keep that promise. No matter what.

- [nighttime ambience]

**Starlight Glimmer**: Good morning, students! I know there's been a little bit of adjustment since the professors left for their trip. But I've brought in*new*new teachers. And now everything should run smoothly. Now it's time for class. And don't forget, this afternoon is the Spell-venger Hunt!**Students**: [chattering]

- [door slams open]
- [stock gasp sound]
**Discord**: [California accent] Yo! Greetings, fellow creatures!- [flash]
**Discord**: Is this seat taken?**Ocellus**: [laughs nervously]- [poof]
**Trixie**: Welcome, class! You may call me the Great and Powerful*Professor*Trrrrrri—- [phone ringing]
**Discord**: Shhh! Really, that's so inconsiderate!- [phone ringing]
- [bananaphone ringing]
**Discord**: Oh, I better take this. Hello?**Voice on bananaphone**: [garbled sped-up gibberish]**Discord**: Oh, he did not! And what did you say?**Voice on bananaphone**: [garbled sped-up gibberish]**Discord**: [gasps] You did*not*!**Trixie**: Discord! Why are*you*here?!**Discord**: Why, I'm a student of friendship, of course. Unless you don't think you're good enough to teach me.**Trixie**: Of course I am! No fruit calls in my class!- [banana peels]
**Discord**: [gulps]**Trixie**: Magic is the most important element of friendship. So, today I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, will put on a magic show!**Discord**: [snaps fingers]- [Pigasus squeals]
- [ursa major roaring]
**Students**: [scream]**Discord**: [chuckles] I'm learning*so*much. Aren't*you*?**Trixie**: [growls]*Discord!*- [doors close]
- [bananaphone ringing]
- [beep]
**Trixie**: Eh, hello?**Voice on bananaphone**: [garbled sped-up gibberish]**Trixie**: Um, what exactly*is*a long-distance plan?

**Yona**: [pants]**Discord**: Take a lap, team!**Sandbar**: Uh, actually, we just finished Professor Spitfire's workout.**Discord**: Sounds like somepony needs a little motivation. [blows whistle]- [flash]
**Students**: [gasp, scream]- [bugbear growls]
**Silverstream**: I've never run so fast in my life! Oh, this is great!**Sandbar**: [pants] Hey, coach, we need a break.**Discord**: Friendship is about honesty. So believe me when I say...*we're not stopping!*[blows whistle]**Sandbar**: [yelps, pants]- [bugbear growls]
**Yona**: [panting] Yona... can't run... faster...! [grunts]- [bugbear growls]
- [zap!]
- [bugbear whimpers]
**Starlight Glimmer**: Discord, that's enough! Endangering students crosses the line! I don't know*why*you're trying to ruin this school, but it stops now!- [flash]
**Discord**: I wouldn't be so sure.**Starlight Glimmer**: This is your last warning.**Spike**: Hey-hey-hey! Take it easy, Starlight! Discord's your friend, remember?**Starlight Glimmer**: Well, he's not acting like it!**Spike**: [huffs] She's right, Discord. What's your problem?**Discord**:*My*problem? How is the fact that Twilight decided to put an incompetent, power-hungry unicorn in charge of her school*my problem?!***Starlight Glimmer**: [gasps, yells]- [zap!]
- [crackles]
**Students**: [shudder]**Starlight Glimmer**: [nervous laughter] Don't worry. I just banished him from school grounds forever. He's fine.**Spike**: That probably made things worse. Why didn't you just talk to Discord?**Starlight Glimmer**: Because he's right about*one*thing. I've been doing a terrible job as headmare.**Spike**: No, you haven't. Discord is just bein'... Discord.**Starlight Glimmer**: Maybe. But I wonder why me being in charge bothers him so much.- [school bell rings]
**Spike**: We can figure that out*after*the Spell-venger Hunt. C'mon!

- [doors open]
**Starlight Glimmer**: For this afternoon's Spell-venger Hunt, you'll need to use the artifacts' history to find where they're hidden in the castle. When you spot one, touch it with a magic shield to keep track of your score.**Spike**: Twilight left the list of your hunt partners before she left. I'll pass out the shields.**Starlight Glimmer**: Ready... set... Spell-venger Hunt!- [gong strikes]
**Students**: [chattering]**Spike**: C'mon! We can use Twilight's observatory to watch the teams!

**Students**: [chatter continues]**Smolder**: I hope you know where you're going.**Ocellus**: To the Helm of Yksler!**Smolder**: Eh, works for me.**Ocellus**: In our book, it says Yksler was an honorable yak warrior. Any enemies that saw him put down their weapons in peace. I think his artifact must be in one of these suits of armor.**Smolder**: I'm guessing that one.- [shields flash]
**Ocellus**: Yes! One down, five to go!- [slaps]

**Starlight Glimmer**: Awww, Ocellus and Smolder found their first artifact! Wait. What's that?

**Ocellus**: Uh, I don't think that's part of the Spell-venger Hunt!**Ocellus**and**Smolder**: [scream]**Ocellus**: The school is haunted!**Smolder**: And not cool!

**Starlight Glimmer**and**Spike**: [gasp]

**Silverstream**: We're totally gonna win this Spell-venger Hunt!**Gallus**: Yeah, I doubt that. But at least I know where one of the artifacts is. Saw Spike hide it yesterday.- [thud]
**Gallus**: The Crown of Grover! Score!- [shimmer!]
**Gallus**: They say it's magic*and*King Grover used it to become the first ruler of Griffonstone. I know, pretty sweet, right?**Silverstream**: You paid attention in class!**Gallus**: What?! I-If you ever tell an—- [slam!]
**Gallus**: Whoa!**Silverstream**: 3D painting!**King Grover Painting**: [screeches]**Gallus**and**Silverstream**: [scream]**Changeling Painting**: [hisses]- [students screaming]
**Pony Painting**: [hisses]- [students screaming]
**Discord's Ghost**: [laughing]

**Starlight Glimmer**: Yup, that's definitely Discord. This is not good.**Spike**: I thought you banished him from the school.**Starlight Glimmer**: Only his body. Apparently, his ghost can come and go just fine. Let's go. We have to stop this.- [lift clanking]
**Spike**: How? No offense, but I don't think magic is the answer against Discord.**Starlight Glimmer**: This time, I'm not using magic.

**Yona**: Hmm... What Yona look for?**Sandbar**: The Shell of Knuckerbocker. It's like a seashell, but if you blow into it, you call a dragon! There's a sweet poem in our book about it. "Climb to the heights with dragon flight." [gasps] Like flight of stairs!**Yona**: Yona take pony word for it.- [squish]
**Yona**: Huh?**Sandbar**: [grunts] What's happening?!**Yona**: Ugh! Yona not know! But Yona*do*know Yona not like Spell-venger Hunt!**Discord's Ghost**: [laughing] Boo! Boo! Boo!- [students screaming]
**Ocellus**: [yelps] Whoa!**Starlight Glimmer**: Everycreature, stop!**Silverstream**: B-B-B-But the school is haunted!**Starlight Glimmer**: It's not haunted. It's Discord.- [poof!]
**Discord's Ghost**: Headmare Starlight! Look at me! Look! I won the Spell-venger Hunt! Well done, me! Now what's my prize?**Spike**: Detention.**Discord's Ghost**: Well, that's disappointing.**Starlight Glimmer**: Discord, you can't keep messing up the school.**Discord's Ghost**: On the contrary. I think I rather can. And will.**Starlight Glimmer**: Then I have just one thing to say to you.**Discord's Ghost**: Oh, do go on.**Starlight Glimmer**: I'm sorry.**Discord's Ghost**: What?- [zap!]
**Starlight Glimmer**: I had to stop thinking like a headmare and start thinking like a guidance counselor to finally understand. You felt left out.**Discord**: Uh... [stuttering] I don't know what you're getting at.**Starlight Glimmer**: Nopony ever invited you to the school. And when you offered to help, I didn't listen. I was so worried about doing things Twilight's way, I didn't stop to think about being a good friend. I'd like to apologize for that. And offer you the job of vice headmare.**Spike**: Huh?**Silverstream**: Really?!**Gallus**: What?!**Ocellus**: Why?!**Yona**: No!**Smolder**: Him?!**Sandbar**: Totally confused.**Discord**: I accept! I mean, I-I-I suppose I can find some time in my busy schedule to help you out. But I will need my own office, expense account, parking space...**Spike**: You're new to the world of education, aren't you?**Starlight Glimmer**: Next time you want something, just ask for it, all right?**Discord**: But then we'd miss out on all those delightful misadventures.**Spike**: Hey! Watch the wings!**Starlight Glimmer**: Now, Vice Headmare Discord, if you'll help me get this Spell-venger Hunt back in order.**Discord**: [snaps fingers] Everything is re-hidden.- [rattling]
**Silverstream**: [screams]**Discord**: [chuckles] Well, with a few surprises.- [doors open]
**Twilight Sparkle**:*Discord!*I can't believe you tricked us into going on a friendship quest that wasn't real!**Discord**: Oh, back so soon?**Rarity**: A glamour spell on our cutie marks?**Rainbow Dash**: A fake summons from the map?**Pinkie Pie**: Hey, at least we got to go spelunking in that really creepy cave with all those eyeless worm creatures chasing us.**Yona**: Oh, Yona so glad ponies back!**Applejack**: Uh, y'all get the feelin' we missed somethin'?**Twilight Sparkle**: Thanks for taking care of the school, Starlight.**Starlight Glimmer**: It was a challenge. Heh. But I think things turned out just the way you'd have handled them.**Spike**: [to Discord] Guess this means you're not vice headmare anymore.**Discord**: Oh, poo! I just ordered business cards!

- [credits]